memoirs - Forgotten Books

MEMOIRS

A GABET’

S FIRST YEAR IN INDIA.

CAPTAIN BE LLE W .

FR O M DE S I GN S BY THE AUTHOR .

A N EW EDITIO N .

LO NDO N

H. ALLE N CO ., 13, WATE RLO O PLACE , S .W.,

PUBLI SHE R S TO THE I NDIA O FFICE .

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PR INTE D BY WO ODFALL

M ILFO R D LAN E , STR AN D,W.C .

H E N R Y M unac. o ALPHE M

M AJO B-GE N . Sm R O BE R T CUNLI FFE , BAR T. , C .B. ,

ACTO N PAR K ,DE NBIGHSHI R E ,

LATE CO M M I SSAR Y-GE N E R AL O F

IN WHO S E DEPAR TM E NT THE AUTHO R HAD FO R S O M E YE AR S

THE HO N O UR TO S E R VE ,

T H I S L I T T L E W O R K

I S B E S PE CTFULLY DEDICATED, AS A M AR K O F H I S S IN CE R E ESTEEM

PR E F A C E .

GOOD wine, says the proverb, needs no bush ; on thesame principl e, some will think that a b ook, i f readable,may dispense Wi th a preface . As a general rule this may

be true, bu t there are occasions, and I take leave to deemthis one of them , When, from the peculi ar nature of thesubj ect, a few preliminary observations, by creating aclear and possibly a pleasant understanding between theauthor and the gentle reader

,may not be unacceptable or

out of place . In the following li ttl e narrative, in Which

I have blended fact and fiction—though always endea

vouring to keep the vm z’

semblable in view—my obj ecthas been to depict some of those scenes, ch aracters, andadventures

,Which some five-and-twenty or thirty years

ago a “

jolly cadet —alias a Griffin—was likely to

encounter,during the first year of hi s mili tary career ;

men,manners

,and things in general have, since that

period,undergone considerable changes ; still, in its main

features,the sketch I have drawn , admitting i ts ori ginal

correctness, Will doubtless apply as well to Griffins in

the presen t mature age of the century,as When i t was in

its teens . The Griffin, or Greenhorn, indeed, though

viii PRE FACE .

subj ect, like everything else, to the ex ternal changesincident to time and fashion, i s, perhaps, fundamentallyand essenti ally

,one of the “ never endi ng

,still begin

ning s tates,or phases of humani ty, destined to exist ti ll

the crash of doom .

The characters which I have introduced in my nar

rative (for the most p art as transiently as the fleetingsh adows of a magic latern across a Spectrum ) are all

intended to represent resPeotively classes having more or

less of an Oriental stamp,some sti ll exi sting unchanged

—others on the wane— and a few ,I would fain hope,

who , l ike the Trunnions and Westerns (parvacomp onere

magm'

s) of the last age have wholly disappeared beforethe steadily increasing light of knowledge and civi liz a

ti on—influences destructive of those coarse humours,narrow prej udices, and eccen tri c traits, which , howeveramusing in the p ages of the novelist

,are wondrously

disagreeable in real life . It i s true,the gradual dis

appearance of these coarser features imposes on the

painter of life and manners the necessi ty of cultivating anicer perception—of working wi th a finer pencil , and of

seizing and embodying the now less obvious indications of

the feelings and passions—the more delicate lights andshades of mind and character—but still in parting in agreat measure with the materi als for coarse drollery andbroad satire

,the world perhaps on the whole will be a

gainer ; higher feelings will be addressed than thosewhich minister to triumph and imply humili ation : for

though’

tis well to laugh at folly and expose it—’

twere

perhaps better to h ave no folly or error to laugh at andexpose .In the following pages

,my wish has been to amuse,

PRE FACE .

and where I could- without detriment to the professedlyligh t and j ocular character of the work—to instruct andimprove . To hurt or offend has never entered into mycontemplation—if such could ever b e my obj ect

,I should

not do i t under a mask .

I deem i t necessary to make this observation en

passant, lest, like a young officer I once heard of in

India, who, conscie’nce-stricken on hearing some of hi s

besetting sms,as he thought

,pointedly denounced

, flung

out of the church, declaring there was no standing the

chaplain’

s personalities, some of my readers should

think that I have been taking, under cover, a sly shot atthemselves or friends . That the characters lightly

sketched in these Memoirs h ave been taken from lifei .e .

,that the ideas of them have been furni shed by real

personages—I in some measure candidly allow,though I

h ave avoided making the portraits invidiously exact ; as

in a dream,busy fancy weaves a tissue of events out of

the stored impressions of the brain,so

,of course

,the

wri ter of a story must in like manner,though wi th more

congrui ty,arrange and embody his scattered recollections,

though not necessarily in the exact shape and order inwhich the obj ects

, &c.,originally presented themselves .

Moreover, I believe I may safely add, that the originalsof my sketches have

,for the most p art

,long since

brought life’

s fitful fever to a close .

To the kind care of the public I now consign the

Griffin, particularly to that portion of i t connected

with India,a country where my best d ays have been

spent,the scene of some of my happiest hours , as alas !

of my severest tri als and bereavements ; h0ping, on

account of his youth , they will take him under their

X PRE FACE .

especial pro tection. To the cri ti cs I also commend him,

trusting,i f they have any bowels,

”

that they wi ll, for

the same reason, deal wi th him tenderly.

London—queen of ci ties -on sympatheti c grounds, Ihope for your munificent patronage . Griflins

’x‘ are yoursupporters

,then why no t support my Griffin

If encouraged by the smiles of a discriminatingpubli c

,I may

,at some future peri od , impart the late

Breve t Captain Germon’

s post-griffinish experiences

amongst Burmahs, Pindarics, and Chimeras dire,wi th

hi s“ impressions of home

,as contained in the remain

ing autobiography of that l amented gentleman, w ho

sunk under a gradual decay of nature and a schirrousliver, some time during the last hot summer.It i s proper I should state that these Memoirs

,in a

somewhat different form , first saw the ligh t in the pagesof the Asiatic Journal.

The arms of the City of Londonsupported by Griffins orWyverns.

LISTDE ILLUSTRATIONS .

PAGEM r. Cadet Gernon, anxious to discover a R oyal Bengal Tiger,

falls inwi th aBear

General Capsicum onboard the R ottenbeam Castle

Gri ll", onLanding, besieged by Baboos

Returning from the Hog-hunt

Ensign Rattleton receiving Morning R eports from the Fat Lord

and the R ed Lion

The Native Court-Martial

GriffinMudlarking inthe Jheels

Colonel Heli ogabalus Bluff and Orderly taking Morning S troll

GriffinM arching to Join inPatriarchal S tyle

TheLast Night of his Griflinage—M arpeet R oyal

X PRE FACE

especi al pro tection. To the cri ti cs I also commend him,

trusting,i f they have any bowels,

”

that they will, forthe same reason, deal with him tenderly.

London—queen of cities —on sympatheti c grounds,I

hope for your munificent patronage . Griflins’x‘ are your

supporters,then why no t suppor t my Griffin

If encouraged by the smiles of a discriminating

publi c,I may

,at some future period, impart the late

Brevet Captain Gernon’

s post-griffini sh experiences

amongst Burmahs, Pindaries, and Chimeras dire,wi th

hi s“ impressi ons of home

,as contained in the remain

ing autobiography of that lamented gentleman,who

sunk under a gradual decay of nature and a schirrousliver, some time during the las t hot summer.It i s proper I should state that these Memoirs, in a

somewhat different form , first saw the ligh t in th e pages

of the Asiatic Journal.

The arms of the City of Londonsupported by Griffins orWyverns.

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS .

PAGEM r. Cadet Gernon, anxi ous to discover a R oyal Bengal Tiger,

falls inw ith aBear

General Capsicum onboard the R ottmbeam Castle

Griff, onLanding, besieged by Baboos

R eturning from the Hog-hunt

Ensign Rattleton receiving Morning R eports from the Fat Lord

and the R ed Lion

The Native Court-Martial

Gr iffinMudlarking in the Jheels

Colonel Heliogabalus Bluff and Orderly taking Morning S troll

GriffinM arching to Join inPatriarchal S tyle

The Last Night of his Grifiinage- Marpeet R oyal

MEMOIRS OF A GRIFFIN.

CHAPTER I .

PLEASANT days of my Griflinhood l—green oasis oflife

’

s desert waste !—thoughtless, j oyous, happy season ,when young Hope told her flattering tale

,and novelty

broke sweetly upon a heart unsated by the world,with

what fond and regretful emotions do I now look backupon you through the long, dim, dreary vista of five

and-twenty yearsBut I think I hear a raw reader exclaim , Griffins

are there griffins in the E ast Assuredly,sir. Did

y ou never hear of the law of Z oroaster, quoted in

Z ad z'

g ,by whi ch griffins

’

flesh i s prohibited to be eatenGriffins are so common at the d ifferen t presidencies ofIndi a that nobody looks at them , and most of theseanimals are very tame . I will not, however, abuse thetraveller s privilege .Grg

’

fiin, or more familiarly a Gr ifi'

, 18 an Anglo-Indiancant term appli ed to all new comers

,whose lo t has been

cast in the gorgeous E ast.”

Whether the appellationhas any connection wi th the fabulous compound

,the

gryps or gryphon of armori al blazoning, i s a pointwhich I feel myself incompetent to decidefl< A

griffin i s the Johnny Newcome of the E ast, one whoseE uropean manners and i deas stand out in ludicrousMi ltonspeaks of the Gryphon as a guardian of gold, but that

canclearly have no connection w ith our animal, w hose propensities inrespect to the precious metals are quite of an opposite tendency.

B

2 E M E MO IE S p F'

A GRIFFIN.

relief when contras ted wi th those,so essen tially d ifferent

in most respects, which appertain to the new country ofhis soj ourn. The ordinary period of griflinh

’

ood i s ayear

,by which time the nevus homo , if apt , i s supposed

to have acquired a sufficient familiarity w i th the language,

habi ts,customs , and manners of the country , both

Anglo-Indian and Native,so as to preclude his making

himself supremely ridiculous by blunders, gaucher z

'

es,

and the indiscriminate application of English standardsto states of things to whi ch those rules are not alwaysexactly adap ted . To illustrate by ex ample z

—a goodn atured Engli shman , who should present a Brahmin whoworships the cow with a bottle of beef-steak sauce

,would

b e decidedly griffinish , parti cularly if he could bemade acquainted with the nature of the gift ; nevertheless

, b eefo steak, per se

,i s an excellent thing in an

Englishman’

s estimation,and a better s ti ll wi th the

addition of the before-mentioned condimen t. But toreturn to our subj ect.At the termination , then, of the above-mentione d

period, our griffin, i f he has made the most of hi s time,becomes entitled to associate on pretty equal termsw ith those sun-dri ed specimens of the g enus homo,familiarly called the old hands : —subs of fifteen yearsstanding , grey-headed cap tains

,and superannuated

maj ors,cri tic s profound in the meri ts of a curry

,or the

quali ty of a b atch of Hodgson’

s pale ale . He ceases tobe the butt of his regimen t, and persecutes in his turn ,with the zeal of a convert, all novices not blessed wi thhis modicum of local experience .Youth is proverbi ally of a plastic nature, and the

j uvenile griffin, consequently, inthe maj ority of instances,readily accommodates himself to the altered circumstancesi n which he is placed ; but not so the man of mature

years, to whose moral and physical organiz ation for ty orfifty winters have imparted their rigid and unmalleableinfluences. Griffins of this descrip tion , which commonlycomprises bishops

,j udges, commanders-in-chief, and

MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN . 3

gentlemen sent out on special missions, &c., protrac ttheir griffinage commonly during the whole period oftheir stay in the country, and never acquire th e peculi arknowledge which entitles them to rank with the initi ated .The late most excellent Bishop Heber, for example, whoto the virtues of a Chri sti an added all the qualities whi chcould adorn the scholar and gentleman , was neverthelessan egregious griffin, as a perusal of his d elightful travelsin India

,wri tten in all the singleness of hi s benevolen t

heart,must convince any one acquain ted with the charac

ter of th e country and the natives of India .Autobiographers love to begin ab ova

, and I see noreason why I should wholly deviate from a custom doublysanctioned by reason and established usage . It i s curioussometimes to trace the gradual development of ch aracterin small as well as in great men ; to note the li ttleincidents which often determine th e nature of our futurec areer, and describe the shootings of the young idea atthat vernal season when th ey first begin to expand intotrees of good or evil . In an old manor-house

,not thirty

miles from London , on a gloomy November day, I firstsaw the light . O f the home of my in fancy I rememberli ttle but my nursery

,a long

,bare, whitewashed apart

men t, with a tall, diamond-paned window, half obscuredby the funereal branches of a venerable yew-tree . Thisw indow looked out, I remember, on the village church

yard, thickly studded with the moss -grown memori al s ofsuccessive generati ons . In that window-seat I used tosit for many a weary hour, watching the boys idling onthe gravestones, the j ackdaws w heeling their ai ry circlesround the spire

,or the parson

'

s old one-eyed horse cr0pping the rank herbage, which sprouted fresh and greenabove the silent dust of many a “ village Hampden .

The recollections of infancy,like an old picture

,become

often dim and obscure, but here and there p articular

events, l ike bright lights and rich Rembrand t touches, remain deeply impressed

,wh i ch seem to defy the effects of

time of this kind is a most vivid recollection I have ofB 2

4 m moms O F A GRIFFIN .

a venerable uncle of my mother’

s, an old Indian,who

l ived wi th us,and whose knee I always sough t when I

could give nurse the slip . My great uncle Frank alwayswelcomed me to hi s li ttl e sanctum in the green parlour

,

and having quite an Arab’

s notion of the sacred rights ofhospitali ty, invari ably refused to give me up when nurse ,puffing and foaming , would waddle in to reclaim me . Ishall never forget the deligh t I derived from his pleasan tstories and the white sugar-candy

,of which he always

kept a stock on hand . Good old man ! he died full o fyears

,and was the first of a long series of friends whose

loss I have had to l amen t.My father was, truly, that character emphatically styl edan Iri sh gentleman,

”

in whom the suavi ty of the Frenchman was combined wi th much of the fire and brilliancyof his native l and . Though of an ancient family , hi s fortune

,derived from an estate in the sister kingdom , was

very limited, the dirty acres having somehow or other,from generati on to generation

,become small by

d egrees, and beautifully less . He was of a tenderframe

,and of that d elicate, sensitive, nervous tempera

ment,whi ch , though often the attendant on genius,

which h e unquestionably possessed, l i ttle fits those soconsti tuted to buffet wi th the world, or long to endurei ts storms . He died in the prime of manhood

,when

I was very young , and left my mother to struggle withthose d ifficulties which are always inciden t to a state ofwidowhood, with a numerous family and a limited income. The deficiency of fortune was, how ever, in h ercase

,compensated by the energies of a masculine under

s tanding,combined with an unti ring devotion to the

interest and welfare of her chi ldren .

Trades and professions in England are almost as com

pletely heredi tary as among the castes of India. Thegreat Franklin derived hi s ponderous strength , physic al i f not intellectual, from a line of Blacksmiths, andI , Frank Gernon , inheri t certain atrabilious humours,maternally

,from a long series of very respectable Qui

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6 MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN .

My mo ther, too, used to entertain us with her ex peri

ences, which served to feed the ardent longing which Ifelt to visi t the E ast. How oftenin the winter evenings ofpleasant l ang syne, when the urn hissed on the table,and the cat purred on the '

comfortab le rug, has our thenh appy domesti c circle li stened wi th deligh t to her accountof that far-distant land ! What respect did th e sonorousnames of Bangalore and Cuddalore, and Nandy Droogand S evern D roog, and Hookhaburdar and S oontaburdars

,and a host of others, excite in our young minds !

In what happy accordance with school boy though ts werethe descriptions she gave us of the frui ts of th a t sunnyclime—the luscious mango— the huge j ack—the refreshing guava—and , above all , the delicious custard-apple, aproducti on which I never in the least doub ted containedthe exac t counterpar t of that pleasan t admixture of mi lkand eggs which daily excited my l onging eyes amongs tthe tempting display of a pastry-cook’

s window ! Sometimes she rose to higher themes, in which the patheti c oradventurous predominated . How my poor cousin Willfell by the dagger of an assassin at the celebrated massacre of Patna and how another venturous relative sho ta tiger on foot

,thereby earning the benedi ctions of awhole

communi ty of peaceful Hindoos, whose village had longbeen the scene of his midnigh t maraudings : thi s story,by the way, had a dash of th e humorous in i t, thoughrelating m the main to a rather serious affair. It neverlost i ts raciness by repeti ti on, and whenever my mothertold it, which at our request she frequently did , andapproached what we deemed the comic part, our ri sibleswere always on full-cock for a grand and simultaneousexplosion of mirth .

Well, time rolled on; I had doubled the C ape ofGood Hope, sweet six teen , and the ocean of life andadventure l ay before me . I stood five feet nine inchesin my stockings, and possessed all the aspirati onscommon to my age . Frank

,my love, one day said

my mother to me, at the conclusion of breakfast,“ I

MEMO IRS O F A GRIFFIN. 7

have good news for you ; that most benevolen t of men,M r. Versanket, has complied with my application, andgiven me an infantry cadetship for you ; here, she continued , i s his letter, read i t, and ever retain as I trustyou will, a lively sense of hi s goodness . I eagerlyseized th e le tter, and read the contents with a kind ofecstasy. It expressed sympathy in my mother

’

s d ifficulties, and an invitation to me to come to London andtake advantage of his offer.I will not dwell on the parting scenes . Suffice i t to

say, tha t I embraced those dear obj ects of my affection ,many of whom I was never destined to embrace again ,and b id a sorrowful long adieu to the parental roof. Iarrived in th e great metropolis

,and prepared for my

outfit and departure . Having completed the formersheets , ducks, jeans, and gingerbread, tobacco to brib eold Neptune, brandy to mollify th e sailors, and all et

cetem s, according to the most approved li s t of Messrs .Welsh and S talker— nough t remained but to pass th eIndia House, an ordeal which I was led to view with anindefinab le dread . From whom I received the information I now forget

,though i t was probably from some one

of that mischi evous tribe of j okers,who love to sport

with the feelings of youth but I was told that i t wasabsolutely necessary that I should learn by heart, as anindispensable preliminary to passing , the

“ Arti cles ofWar and Mutiny Act, then forming one volume . Whatwas my state of alarm and despondency as I handledthat substan tial yellow-backed tome

,and reflected on the

task I had to perform of commi tting its whole contentsto memory in the brief Space of one week ! I t hauntedme in my dreams

,and the thought of it

,sometimes

crossing my mind whils t eating , almost suspended thepower of swallowing . I carried i t about with me whereever I wen t, applying to i t with desperate determinationwhenever a leisure moment

,of Wt h I had very few

,

would admi t ; but what I forced into my sensorium onemoment, th e eternal noise and racket of London drove

8 msmoms or A GRIFFIN.

out of i t the next. To cut a long story short, the dayarrived ,

“ th e ' al l-important day,big with my fate . I

found myself waiting in the India House , preparatory toappearing before the di rectors

,and , saving the first two

or three clauses, the“ Arti cles of War were to me as a

sealed volume . I was in despair ; to b e disgraced appeared inevitable . At l ast came the aw ful summons , andI entered the apartment , where, at a large table coveredwith green cloth

,sat the potent, grave, and reverend

signiors,

”

who were to decide my fate . One of them , avery benevolen t -looking old gentleman , with a powderedhead , desired me to advance, and having asked me a fewquestions touching my name, age, &c.

, he paused, and,to my inexpressible alarm

,took up a volume

~from thetable

,which was no o ther than th at accursed piece of

m ilitary cod ification o f which I have made mention .

Now,though t I , i t comes, and all i s over . After turning

over the leaves for some seconds, he said , raising hishead

,I suppose y ouare w ell acquainted w i th the con

tents of this volume ? Heaven forgive me ! but theinstinct o f self-preservation was strong upon me

,and I

mumbled fo rth a very suspi cious “ Yes . Ye generouscasuists , w ho inven t excuses for human frail ty, plead formy justification.

“Well,continued h e

,closing the

book, conduc t yourself circumspectly in the si tuationin which you are about to enter, and you w il l acqui rethe approbation o f your superiors ; you may now retire .Those wh o can imagine the feelings of a culp ri t re

pri eved,after the fatal kno t h as been comfortably adj usted

by a certain legal functionary or those of a curate,with

£50 per annum,and fifteen small children, on the an

nouncement of a legacy of or those of arespectable spinster of forty

,on having the question un

expectedly popped ; or, in short, any other si tuationwherefeli ci ty obtrudes unlooked for, may form some idea ofmine ; I absolutely walked on air, reli eved from thisincubus, and gave myself up to the most delightfulbuoyancy of spiri ts . A few days more, and M r. Cadet

MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN. 9

Francis Gernon found himself on board the R ottenbeam

Castle, steering down Channel, . and wi th tearful eyescas ting a lingering gaz e on the shores of old England .

CHAPTER II.

THE first scene of this eventful drama closed with myembarkation on board the R ottenbeam Castle, bound forBengal . S aving an Irish packet , this was the first shipon w hich I had ever set foot, and i t presented a newworld to my observati on—avariety of sights and soundswhi ch

,by giving fresh occupation to my thoughts and

feelings,served in some measure to banish the tri stful

remembrance of home . All,at first, was a chaos to me ;

b ut when the confusi on incidental to embarkation anddeparture ( the preliminary shake of this l iving kaleidoscope ) , a general clearing out of visitors, custom-houseofii cers, bum-boat w omen

,at [w e g enus omne

,had sub

sided , things speedily fell into that regular order characteristic of vessels of th is description—each individualtook up his proper posi tion, and entered in an orderlymanner on h i s p rescribed and regular routine of dutyand I began to distingui sh officers from passengers, andto learn the rank and importance of each respectively .

Before proceeding further wi th ship-board scenes, asl ight sketch of a few of the d ramatz

'

sp ersome may notbe unacceptable . And first

,our commander

,the autocrat

o f thi s li ttle empire . Captain M cGutfin was a raw-bonedC aledonian, of some six foot three a huge, red-headedman of great physical powers

,o f which

,however

,his

whole demeanour, singularly mild, evinced a pleasingunconsciousness ; hating the latter quali ty, he was j us tsuch a man of nerves and sinews as in the olden time

,at

Falkirk or B annockburn,one could fancy standing like

a tower of strength, amidst the din and clash of arms,

10 MEMOIRS O F A GRIFF IN .

slaughing off heads and arms, muckle broad-sword inh and , wi th fearful energy and effect . He had a somb reand fanatical expression of visage and I never lookedat his “ rueful countenance but I thought I saw th egenuine descendant of one of those stern covenanters of

yore,of whom I had read—one of those “ cr0p-eared

Whigs ” who , on lonely moor and mountain, had struggledfor the righ ts of conscience

,and fought with indomitable

obstinacy the glorious fight of freedom .

I soon discovered I was no t alone in my glory, andth a t another cadet was destined to sh are w i th me thehonours of the “

Gri ffinage .

”

He was a gawky, widemouthed fellow, with looks like a pound of candles, andtrousers half-way up his calves ; one who , from his appearance, i t was fair to infer had never before been tenmiles from his native vill age . I t was a standing sourceof wonder to al l on board ( and to my knowledge theenigma was never s atisfac tori ly solved ) , by what strangeconcurrence of circumstances, what odd twist of DameFortune

’

s wheel,this Gasp ar Hauserish specimen of rus

tici ty had attained to the di stinguished honour of beingallowed to sign himself gentleman cadet

,in any

“ warran t, bill, or qui ttance ; but so i t was . The oldadage

,however

,applied in hi s case he turned out event

ually to b e much less of a fool than he looked .

Our first officer, M r . Gill ans,was a thorough seaman,

and a no less thorough John Bull he had the then common detestation of the French and their imputed vi ces ofinsincerity, &c. , and in endeavouring to avoid the S cyl laof Gallic decei t

,went plump in to the Charybdi s of Eng

lish rudeness. He was in truth , a blun t , gruff fellow,wh o

evidently thought th at civili ty and pol troonery were convertible terms . The captain was the only personwhomh is respect for di scipline ever allowed him

'

to addresswithout a growl in short, th e vulgar but expressivephrase , as sulky as a bear with a sore h ead , seemedmade for him expressly

,for in no case could i t have been

more j ustly applied . The second mate, Grinnerson, was

MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN . 1 1

a gentlemanly fellow on the whole, but a most eternalwag and j oker. Cadets had plainly, for many a voyage,furnished him with subj ects for the exercise of his facetious vein

,and “ Tom ,

”

z’

. 8 . M r. Thomas Grundy, andmyself

,received diurnal roastings at his hands . If I

expressed an opinion,Pardon me

,my dear sir

,he

would say,wi th mock gravity

,but i t strikes me that,

being only a cad et, you can know nothing about it or,

in about ten years hence,when you get your commis

sion,your opinion ‘

ou things in general’

may be valuable . If I flew out, or the peaceable Grundy evinced adi sposition to hog his back , he would advise us to keepour temper, to be cool , assuring us, wi th dry composure,that the cadets on the last voyage were never permittedto get into a passion . In a word

,he so disturbed my

self-complacency, that I long gravely debated the questionwith myself

,whether I ough t not to summon him to the

lists when I got to India,there to answer for his misdeeds .

As the voyage drew towards a close,however , he le t off

the steam of his raillery considerab ly, and treated us withmore deference and respect ; thereby showing that he hadstudied human nature

,and knew how to restore the

equilibrium of a young man’s temper,by adding to the

weight in the scale of self-esteem . Our doctor and purserare the only two more connected with the ship whom Ishall notice . The first

, Cackleton by name, was a deli cate,consumptive

, superfine person , who often reminded me ofthe injunction, physician

,heal thyself. He l adled out

the soup with infinite grace,and was quite the ladies

’

man .

His manners,indeed

,would have been gentlemanly and

unexceptionable had they not been for ever pervaded byan obviously smirking consciousness on hi s p art th atthey were se . As for Ch eesepare, the purser, all I shallrecord of him i s, that by a happy fortune he had droppedinto the exact place for which nature and his starsappeared to have designed him . He looked like a purser-spoke like a purser—ate and drank like a purser andlocked himself up for three or four hours per d z

’

em with


his books and l edgers like a very praiseworthy purser.Moreover

,he c arved for a table of thirty or forty

,w i th

exemplary patience, and possessed the happy knack ofd i sposing of the largest quantity of meat in the smallestgiven quantity of time of any man I ever met with , ino rder to be ready for a renewed round at the mutton .

O f passengers we had the usual number and varietycivilians

,returning with wholesale stocks of Engli sh and

continental experiences and recollections of the aristocratic association

, &c.

,for Mofussil consumption ; old

o fficers,going back to ensure their “

ofi'

-reckoningspreparatory to their final “

ofi'

-reckoning junior p artners in mercantile houses ; sixteenth cousins from Forresand Invernessh ire obeying the spel l of kindred attraction(would that w e had a little more of i ts influence south ofth e o fficers to supply the wear and tear ofcholera and dysen tery in h is ( then ) Maj esty

’

s regiments ;matrons re turning to expectant husb ands

,and brigh t

eyed spinsters to get—apeep at the coun try—nothingmore — then we had an assi stant-surgeon or two , morean f az

’

t at whist than Galenicals,and the two raw,

unfiedged grifiins—to w it , Grundy and myself— com

pleted the list . But of the afore-mentioned variety, Ishall only select h alf a dozen for parti cular description,and as characteri sti c of the mass .First, there was Colonel Kilbaugh , a colonel of cavalry

and ex-res ident of Paugulabad, who,in spite of hi s

h igh-h eeled Hob ys, was a diminutive figure, pompous, asl i ttle men general ly are

,and so anxious

,apparently, to

convince the world th at he had a soul above his inches,th at egad

,sir

,i t was dangerous for a man above the

common standard of humanity to look at him , or differin opinion in the slightest degree. His was in truth

A hery soul,which , w orking out i ts way,

Fretted the pigmy body to decay.

He excelled ( in his own estimation ) in long stori es,which he told wi th an extraordinary minuteness of detai l .

14 MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN.

stories seasoned wi th equivoque, and sometimes told suchh erself with off-hand fl a

’

i vete’

at the cuddy-table,produc

ing a w ink from M r. Grinnerson to Ensign O’

S haugh

nessy,and an uncommon devotion to his plate on the

part of M r. Goldmore himself.Maj or Bantom , of the D ragoons—soldierly, gentleman

like,and five-and-thirty—commanded the detachment of

troops, to which were attached Ensigns Gorman andO ’

shaughnessy, two fine“ animals, that had recently

b een caugh t in the mountains of Kerry ; and an ancientcen turi on , Cap t. M arpeet, of the N ative Infantry, mustconclude these samples of the -masculine gender . Marpeet was a ch aracter, upon the whole—a great man forshort whist and Hodgson

’

s pale ale . The SportingMagazine

,Taplin

’

s Farri ery, and Dundas’

s N ineteenManoeuvres, seemed to have consti tuted the ex tent of hi sreading

,though some conversation he one day had about

“ zubber,z eer, and pesh , and that profound work the

Tota Kuhannee , seemed to indicate tha t he had at leastentered on the flowery paths of Ori ental li terature.Dundas

,however, was his strong point—his tower of

strength—his one i dea . Ye powers ! how amaz inglyconvincing and fluent he was when he took that subj ec tin h and Many a tough discussion would he have withthe pompous little colonel, whether the righ t or left stoodfast

, &c., and who, having been a Residen t, and knowing,

therefore, everything, of course knew something of thatalso .

But p laces aux d emoz'

selles make way for the spinsters ! Let me introduce to the reader

’

s acquaintanceMi ss Kitty and Miss O l ivi a Jenkins

,M i ss Mari a Bal

grave, and Miss Anna Mari a Sophia Dob b ikins. Thefirst two were going to their father, a general o fficer inthe Madras Presidency ; the eldest , Kitty, was a prude,haunted by the

“ demon of propriety, the youngest,

dear Olivi a , a perfect giggle—with such a pair of eyes !—bu t thereby hangs a tale . Miss Mari a Balgravewas consigned to a house of business in Calcutta

,to be

forwarded, by the first safe convevance, up the country


to her dear friend Mrs . Kurrybhat, the lady of EnsignKurrybhat, who had invi ted her out she was very plain ,but of course possessed i ts usual concomitan t, greatamiability of temper. Miss Dob b ikins was a Bath andClifton belle

,hackneyed and passe

’

, but exhibiting theremains of a splendid face and figure ; i t was p assingstrange that so fine a creature sh ould have attained acertain age without having entered that state which shewas so well calculated to adorn, whilst doubtless manya snub nosed thi ng had gone off under her own nose .I have seen many such cases ; and i t i s a cur ious problem for philosophic al investigation, why those whomevery one admires ‘‘ nobody marries .Having given these sketches of a few of my compan

i ons,let me now proceed wi th my voyage . Leaving

Deal we had to contend with contrary winds, and whenoff Portsmouth , they became so adverse, that the captaindetermined on dropping anchor, and there wai t a favourable change . In three days the wind became light

,

veered to the proper quarter, and our final dep arturewas fix ed for the following morning. My last eveningoff Portsmouth long remained impressed on my memory .

Full often, in my subsequent wanderings in the silen tforest or the lonely desert, in the hushed camp , or on themoon-lit rampart, where nough t save the sentinel

’

s voicebroke through the silence of the night, have I picturedthis last aspect of my native l and . I had been engagedbelow

,inditing letters for home and other occupati on s

,

the whole day,when

,tired of the confinement, I mounted

on the poop : the parting glow of a summer’

s eveningrested on the scene—a tranquilli ty and repose l ittle

,alas

in consonance wi th the state of my feelings, once morep ainfully exci ted at the prospect of the severance fromall that was dear to me . Hitherto exci tement had sustained me

,but now I felt i t i n i ts full force .

Land of my sires, what mortal hanlCane

’er untie th e filial band

That knits me to thy rugged strand ?


I leant my head upon my hand, and gave myself up tosad and melancholy reflections. O n one side stretchedthe beautiful coast of the Isl e of Wight

,whilst the fast

gathering shades of evening were slow ly blending intoone dark mass the groves and villas of Cowes ; lightsfrom many a pleasan t window streamed across the rippling sea—ligh ts, methought , cheering circles of h appyfaces

,l ike those I l ately gazed upon

,but which I migh t

never see more . Many a tall and gal lan t man -o f-warrode ahead of us

,fading in the gathering mist ; boats,

l e aving their long, si lvery track s behind them , glidedacross the harbour ; whilst th e ligh ts of th e town, inrapid succession

,broke forth as those of the day de

clined . The very tranquilli ty of such a scene as th is,to

a person in my then state of mind,by mocking , as i t

were,th e inward grief

,made i t to be more deeply felt.

I looked at my native shores, as a lover gazes on hi smistress for th e l ast time , till the boom of the eveninggun

,and the increasing d arkness , warned me that i t was

time to go below .

Calm w ere the elements, night’s silence deep,The waves scarce murmur ing, and the w inds asleep .

In a few days we were in the B ay of Biscay—andnow my troubles began .

CHAPTER III.

THE Bay of Biscay well merits i ts turbulent character ;of this w e soon had ample demonstration

,for the R otten

beam Castle had scarcely en tered within i ts stormybounds, when the wind , hi therto moderate, becamerough and boisterous

,and in a littl e time freshened

almost to a gale ; the vessel began to pitch and rollthe shrouds cracked—the few sails se t were strainedalmost to spli tting—and mountain seas wi th wild , foamycrests ever and anon burst over us

,clearing th e wai st


and forecastle,and making the good ship quiver

through every plank and timber. These sublz'

mitz'

es

were quite new to me , and produced their usual effectson the unseasoned—an involuntary tribute to O ld O cean—not a metrical outpouring

, but one of a less spiri tualqu ality

,on which i t would b e superfluous to dilate .

O ur first day’

s di nner on board , wi th things in thestate I have described the R ottenbeam Castle reeling and staggering like a drunken man—was a mostcomical affair

,and I should have enj oyed i t extremely

had my nausea been l e ss . It is true, with some vari ations , the scene was afterwards frequently repeated ( excep t when sea -pie was the order of the day) but then,though I was no longer qualmish , i t in turn had lost themaster charm of novelty . We were summoned to dinneras usual , on the day in question, by the drummers andfifers—or rather, to be more respectful, the

“ Captain’

sB and ; but, from the di fficulty of preserving an equili

b rium,these worthies mangled the Roast Beef of O ld

England” most unmercifully. The dapper little steward,

with his train of subordinates, had some di fficulty intraversing the deck with their savoury burthens unableto march as before, heads erect, like a squad of recruits,the grand purveyor, with hi s silver tureen in the van,they now emerged theatri cally from the culinary regionsadvancing with slides and side-steps

,like a corp s d e

ballet—now a halt, then a simultaneous run—thenb alancing on one leg—and finally (hitting the momentof an equipoise) a dart into the cuddy, where , with somel ittl e difficulty, each contrived to deposit hi s dish . Thepassengers, emerging from various doors and openings,tottering and holding on as best they might

,now made

th eir way to seats, and amidst the most abominablecreaking and groaning that ever saluted my ears theO peration of dinner began . In spite of sand bags , however, and all o ther appliances, there was no restrainingthe ambulatory freaks of the dishes

,and we were scarcely

seated when a tremendous lee-lurch sent a tureen of peaC


soup souse over the doctor’

s kerseymere waistcoat andBrummel tie ; and a roast pig, as if suddenly resuscitatedand endued wi th a spirit of frenzy, darted from its di sh,and

,cantering furi ously down the whole length of the

table,finally effected a lodgment in Miss Dob b ikins

’ l ap,

to the infinite di smay of that young lady, wh o utteringa faint shriek, hastily essayed, with Ensign O

’

S haugh

nessy’s assistance, to divest herself of the intrusiveporker. I , for my part, was nearly overwhelmed by aninvoluntary emb race from the charming Miss O livia ;whilst

,to add to the confusion

,at this p articul ar

moment, M r. Cadet Grundy, governed rather by sigh tthan a due consideration of circumstances and the lawsof gravitation, made a desperate lunge at one of the

swinging tables,which he thought was making a most

dangerous approach to the p erpendicular,in order to

steady it, and the immediate result was , a fearful crash ofglasses and decanters, and a plenti ful libati on of portand sherry.

Are ye mod, sir, to do that ? exclaimed the captain

,with ill-suppressed vexation at the destruc ti on of

hi s glasses,and forgetting h is usual urbanity .

“ I thought they were slipping off, sir,”said Grundy

,

with great humili ty.Ye ha

’

slupped them off in gude airnest yeersel,sir

,rej oined Captain M cGuflin, unable, however, to

repress a smile, in which all j oined, at the idea ofGrundy’s ex treme simplicity. “Dinna ye ken

, sir,that i t

’

s the ship,and not the swing-table, that loses

its pairpendicular ? Here, steward,” continued h e

,

“clareaway these frogments, and put mair glasses on thetable .The colloquy ended

,there was a further lull, when,

heave yo ho ! away went the ship on the other side ;purser j ammed up against the bulk-head—rolls—l egsand wings —boiled beef

,carrots

,and potatoes, all racing,

as if to see whi ch would first reach the other side ofthe table . At this instant snap went a chair-lashing,


and the ex-resident of Paugulabad was whirled out ofthe cuddy door, like a thunder-bo l t .There she goes exclaimed the second mate ;

hold on,gentlemen . The caution was well-timed

,

for down she went on the Opposi te tack ; once more ,the recoi l brought the colonel back again, wi th theforce of a b attering-ram , attended by an awful smashof the butler

’

s plate-basket, and other deafening symptoms of reacti on . Oh

,

’

ti s brave sport, a cuddy-dinnerin an Indiaman

,and your ship rolling gun-wales

under.By th e powers , now, but thi s bates everything

entirely,exclaimed Ensign Gorman , who , like myself,

was a grifi’

,and had never witnessed anything of the

sort before .“ Oh

,i t

’

s nothing at all this—mere child ’

s play,to

what you’

ll have round the Cape, observed the secondmate , grinning wi th mali ce prepense .

“ The deuce take you, now, Grinnerson, for a Jove’

s

comforter, rej oined the ensign , laughing ;“ sure if i t’s

worse than this,i t i s we

’

ll b e sailing bottom upwards, andateing our males with our heels in the air .

Oh,I assure you

,i t

’

s a mere trifle thi s to the rollingand pitching I myself have experi enced,

” said the littlecolonel , who having recovered his seat and composure,now put in his oar, unwilling to be silent when anythingwonderful was on the tap is . I remember, continuedthe ex-resident

,p icking his teeth noncfialamment (he

generally picked his teeth when delivered of a bouncer ) ,that was— let me see, about the year l S l O—shortly

after I resigned th e residency of Paugulabad—w e w ereoff Cape Lagullas, when our vessel rolled incessantly fora fortnigh t in the heaviest sea I ever remember to haveseen ; we were h alf our time under water—a sharkactually swam through the cuddy—everything went bythe board—live stock all washed away—couldn’

t cookthe whole time

,but lived on biscuit

,Bologna sausages

,

Bombay ducks,and so forth . To give you an idea of i t

0 2

20 M EMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN .

the ladies will excuse me—I actually wore out the seatsof two pair of inexpressibles from the constant frictionto which they were subj ected—a sort of perpetual motion— no preserving the same cen tre of gravi ty for a singlemoment .

”

This sally of the colonel’

s had an equally d i sturbingeffect on the gravi ty of the cuddy party

,and all l anghed

heartily at i t.You were badly enough ofi

‘

, certainly, colonel , saidour wag , the second o fficer (w i th a sly wink at one ofh is confederates ) but I think I can mention a circumstance of th e kind still more extraordinary. When Iwas l ast in the China seas , in the Jo/m Tomkins, sherolled so prodigiously after a tuff

‘

oon, that she actuallyw ore off all the copper sheathing , and very nearly se tthe sea on fire by th1s same fri c ti on you speak of. I t

’

sstrange

,but as true as what you have j ust mentioned

,

colonel .S ir

,said the colonel

,bristling up, for he did not at

al l relish the drift of this story, you are disposed to be

pleasant,sir facetious

,sir but let me beg in future

that you will reserve your j okes for some one else , andno t exhibi t your humour at my expense, or i t may beunpleasan t to both of us.

Al l looked grave— the affair was becoming seriousth e colonel was a known fire-eater, and Grinnerson, whosaw he had overshot the mark, seemed a li ttle disconcerted , but struggled to preserve his composure—i t wasa juncture wel l calcul ated to test all the powers of im

pudence and tact of that very forward gentleman ; but,s omehow or other

,he did back cleverly out of the scrape

,

without any additional offence to the colonel’

s dignity,or

a farther compromise of his own, and before the clothwas removed, a magnanimous challenge to M r. Grinnerson , to take wine, came from the colonel (who atbottom was a v ery worthy littl e man,

though add i cted,unfortunately , to the Ferdinand Mendez Pin to vein ) ,and convinced us that happily no o ther sort of challenge


holding on by a staunch ion, when the vessel gave anotherprofound roll

,so deep that the said ladder

,being ill

secured , fell over backwards, saluting the deck wi th atremendous b ang , followed by a second crash, and bubbling of waters effecting a forcible entry. Paralyzed andconfounded by thi s succession of sounds and disasters

,I

turned, still groping in the darkness, to seek some information touching thi s uproar

,from some one of

the neighbouring sleepers . I soon lighted on a hammock, and tracing the mummy-case affair from the feetupw ards my hands rested on a cold nose

,then a rough

curly pate surmounting i t,whose owner

,snoring with a

ten-pig power,would

,I verily bel ieve

,have slept on had

the crash of doom been around him .

“ Hollo ! here,s aid I

,giving him a shake . A grun t and a mumbled

execration were all i t elicited . I repeated the experiment,and having produced some symp toms of consciousness,begged earnestly to know if all I had described was anordinary occurrence, or if w e were really going to thebottom . I had now fair ly roused the sleeping lion ; uphe started in a terrible p assion ; asked me what thedeuce made me bother h im with my nonsense at thattime of night

,and then , consigning me to a place whence

no vi si tor i s permitted to return,once more addressed

himself to hi s slumbers . This refreshi ng sample ofnau ti cal philosophy

,though rather startling

,convinced

me that I had mistaken the extent of the danger ; i nfact , there was none at all so feeling my way back tomy cot, I once more, though with becoming caution , gotinto i t, determined , sink or swim,

to have my sleep out.

O u rising, disorder and misery, in various shapes, a wetdeck and boxes displaced

,met my view ; I found my

coat and pantaloons pleasantly saturated wi th seawater,whi ch i t appeared had entered by an open port or scuttle,and that my boots had sailed away to some unknownregion on a voyage of d iscovery.

“ Oh ! why did II exclaimed

,in the bitterness of my d iscom

fort ; why did I ever Ye cadets, attend to

MEM OIRS O F A GRIFFIN. 23

the moral which this narr ative conveys, and learn, by myunhappy example

,always to secure your toggery , high

and dry,before you turn ih ,

and to study well theinfirmities of that curious pendulum balance, the cot,lest

,like me

, ye be suddenly decanted therefrom on theany-thing-but-downy surface of an oaken deckWith what feelings of delight does the youth first

enter upon the fai ry region of the tropics, a region whichCook and Anson

,and the immortal fictions of S t. Pierre

and De Foe,have invested in his estimation with a sweet

and imperishable charm The very air to him is redolentof a spicy aroma , of a balmy and tranquillizing influence,whilst delicious but indefinab le visions of the scenes he isabout to visi t—of palmy groves, and painted birds, andcoral i sles “

in the deep sea set, float before him in al lthose roseate hues with which the young and excitedfancy loves to pain t them . Paul and Virgina—Robinson—Friday —goats —savages and monkeys—ye are all forever bound to my heart by the golden links of earlyassociation and acquaintanceship . Happy Juan Fernandez

,too ! Atalantis of the wave—Utopi a of the

roving imagination —how oft have I longed to abide in

ye, and env1ed Robinson his fate— honest man of goatskins and unrivalled resources ! But one ingredient , awife

,was wanting to complete your felici ty had youbut

rescued one of the Miss Fridays from the culinary fatedesigned for her brother

,and made her your companion,

youwould have been the most comfortable fellow on record .

Griffin as I was I partook strongly of these commonbut delightful feelings I have attempted to describe, andin the change of climate and obj ects which every week’ssail brought forth

,found much to interest and excite me

—the shoal of fiying-fish, shooting like a silver showerfrom the ocean , and skimming lightly over the crestedwaves ; the gambols of the porpoise ; the capture of ashark ; fish ing for bonetta off the bowspri t ; a waterspout speculations on a d istant sail ; her approach thefriendly greeting ; the first and last l—were all obj ects


and events pleasing in themselves,but doubly so when

viewed in relation to the general monotony of a life atsea . Nothing

,I think

,delighted me more than con

templating the gorgeous sunsets , as w e approached theequator . Here

,in England, that luminary i s a sickly

affair, but particularly so when viewed through our

commonly murky atmosphere,and there may be some

truth in the Itali an’

s spleneti c remark in favour of thesuperior warmth of the moon of his own country . But

in‘

the fervid regions of the tropics i t i s that w e see theglorious emblem of creative power in all h is prid e andmaj esty

,whether rising in his strength ,

“ robed inflamesand amber ligh t , ruling in meridi an splendour

,or

sinking slowly to rest on his o cean couch of go ld andcrimson , in softened but ineffable refulgence ; i t i s (butp articularly in its parting aspect) an obj ect eminentlycalculated to awaken the most elevated thoughts of theCreator

’

s pow er,mingled with a boundless admiration for

the beauty of His works . Yes, neither language , painting, nor poetry, can adequately portray that mostglorious of spectacles—a tropical sunset.Ensign O

’

S haughnessy having sworn by all the bogsin Kerry, that h e w ould put a brace of pi stol-ballsthrough Neptune

,or Juno

,or any “

sa God”

of themall, that should dare to lay hands upon him ; and adetermination to resi s t the initi atory process of duckingin bilge-water

,and shaving with a rusty hoop , having

manifested i tself in other quarters,Captain M cGuffin,

glad of a pretext,and really apprehensive of mischief,

had i t intimated to the son of Saturn and his spouse,that their visi t in crossing the line would be dispensedwith . In so doing , i t appears to me that he exercised aw i se discretion ; Neptune

’s tomfooleries,at least when

carried to their usual extent,being one of those ridi culous

customs more honoured in the breach than in theobservance ; one which may w el l be allowed to sleepw i th Maid Marian

,

” the Lord of Misrule,” and other

s amples of the “ wisdom of our ancestors,”

who were

MEMOIR S O F A GRIFFIN . 25

emphatically but children of a l arger growth , to whomhorse play and tinsel were most attractive . O ncrossing the equator

,however

,the old but more harmless j oke

of exhibiting the line through a telescope was played offon one greenhorn, sufficiently soft to admit of its takingeffect .Do you make i t ou t

,Jones said Grinnerson, who

had got up the scene,to one of the middys

,a youngster

intently engaged in reconnoitering through a glass halfas long as himself.I think I do

,sir

,said Jones

,with a d ifficultly

suppressed grin .

What i s he looking for asked the simple vi c tim .

The Line, to be sure ; didn’

t I tell you we were tocross i t to-day

Oh yes, I remember ; I should like amazingly tosee it , if you would oblige me with the telescope .

Oh ; certainly Jones,give M r. Brown the glass .

The soft man took i t, looked, but declared that he sawnought but sky and sea .

“Here, try mine, continued the second mate tisa better one than that youhave, handing him one witha hair or wire across the large end of it . N ow do yousee i tI think I do oh

,yes

,most distinctly. And that

really is the line Bless me, h ow small i t i s

Thi s was the climax ; the middys held their mouths ,and sputtering

,tumbled in a body down the ladder to

h ave their laugh out,wh ilst a general side-shaking at the

griff s expense took place amongst the remaining groupon the poop .

Well, the stormy dangers of the Cape safely passed ,the pleasant i sles of Johanna, sweet as those whichWaller sung

,duly visi ted—Dondra Head—Adam’

s Peak—the woody shores of Ceylon here skirted and admired,those beautiful shores

,where

Partout onvoit muri t , partout onvoit éclore,E t les fruits d e Pomone et les presents d e Flore


and the Spicy gales from cinnamon groves dulysnuffed up and appreci ated (entre nous, a burnt pastil eof M r. Grinnerson

’

s, and not Ceylon, furnished th e

spicy gales on this occasion ) , we found ourselves atlast off the far-famed coast of Coromandel

,and fast

approaching our destination .

It i s pleasant at certain seasons to glide over thesummer seas of these delightful l atitudes

,whilst the

vessel spreads abroad all her snowy canvas to arrestevery ligh t and vagrant z ephyr

,to h ang over the side

,

and whilst the ear i s soothed by the l apping ripple ofsmall, crisp waves, idly breaking on the vessel

’

s bows asshe moves scarce perceptibly through them, to gaze onthe sky and ocean

,and indulge in that h alf-dreamy

listlessness when gentle thoughts unbidden come and go .

How beautiful i s the d ark blue main, reli eved by themilk-white flash of the sea-bird

’

s wing ! h ow picturesquethe Indian craft

,with their striped latteen sails , as they

creep along those palm-covered coasts , studd ed withtemples and pagodas ! and seaward resting on the far-ofi

'

horizon,how lovely the fleecy pil es of rose-tinted clouds,

seeming to the fancy the ethereal abodes of pure andhappy spiri ts ! There is in the thoughts to which suchscones give bir th a rationali ty as improving to the heartas i t i s remote from a forced and mawkish sentimentali ty .

Such were my sensations as we crept along the Indi ancoast

,till in a few days the R ottenbeam Castle came to

anchor in th e roads of Madras, amidst a number of menof-war, Indiamen, Arab grabs, and country coasters .The first thing w e saw,

on dropping anchor, was aman-of-war

’

s boat pulling for us, which created a considerab le sensation amongst the crew, to whom theprospect of impressment ~

was anything but agreeable .Th e boat, manned by a stout crew of slashing youngfellows

,in straw h ats, and with tattooed arms, was soon

alongside,and the lieutenant, with the air of a monar ch,

mounted the deck . He was a tall, strapping man, with ahanger banging against his heels; loose trousers, a


tarnished swab (epaulette ) on his shoulder, and a glazedcocked-hat stuck rakishly fore and aft on his head : inmy idea, the very beauz

'

d e’

al of a first leftenant.

CHAPTE R IV.

I N th e last chapter I left the R ottenbeam Castle justarrived in the roads of Madras , and the frigate

’

s boatalongside . Our commander, w ith a grave look, advancedto meet the officer, w ho, saluting h im in an easy and offhand manner, announced himself as lieutenant of ELM .

ship Thunder bolt , and d esired him to turn up thehands . Captain M cGuffin was beginning to remonstrate

,declaring that some of his best sailors had been

pressed a few days before (which was the fact) , and thathe had b arely sufficient to carry the ship round to Bengal,&c. , when the lieutenant cut him short, declaring he hadnothing to do with that matter that hi s orders wereperemptory

,and must be obeyed .

“ I shall appeal to the admiral , sai d our skipper,rather ruffled .

You may appeal to whom you choose, sir, repliedthe lieutenant

,somewhat h aughtily , and giving his

hanger a kick , to cause i t to resume i ts h indward positi on but now

,and in the meantime

,if you p lease

,

youllorder up your menThese were “ hard nuts for M cGufiin to crack ;

on hi s own deck too , where he had reigned absolute buta few minutes before

The monarch of all he survey’

d,

Whose righ t there was none to dispute .

But he fel t what the iron heel of a stronger despotismthan his own was upon him, and that he had no resourcebut submission . He consequently b

ave the necessaryorders , and straightway the shri ll whistl e of the boatswain was soon heard, summoning the sai lors to themuster.


Onward they moved,a melancholy band

,slouching

and hi tching up their trousers,and were soon ranged in

rank and file along the deck . The lieutenan t stalked upthe line (he certainly was a noble-l ooking fellow, j ustthe man for a cutting-out party

,or to head a column of

boarders ) , and turned several of them about, somethingafter the manner in which a butcher in Smi thfield selectsh is fat sheep

,and then putting aside those he thought

worthy of “ honour and hard knocks”

in his Maj esty’

sservice , he ordered them forthw i th to bring up theirhammocks and kits, and prepare for departure . Amongstthose thus unceremoniously chosen to increase the crewof the Tfiunderbolt, w ere two or three ruddy, lusty lads,wh o had come out as swabs

,or loblolly boys, and were

making their first voyage, to'

see how the l ife of a sailoragreed with them

,little th inking

,a few days before , of

the change that awai ted them . I think I see them now,

blubbering as they descended the side,wi th their ham

mocks and small stocks of worldly good s on theirshoulders

,waving adieu to their comrades , and thinking,

doubtless , of “ home , swee t home , and what motherwould say when she heard of it . O n one old man-ofwar

’

s man of the R ottenbeam Castle, whom I had oftennoti ced

,the li eutenant

,keen as a hawk, pounced instan

ter his experi enced eye detec ting at on c e in the longpigtail , cork-screw ringlets, and devil—may-care air ofhonest Jack, the true outward characteri stics of thatnoble bu t eccentri c biped

,a downrigh t Briti sh tar, and

prime seamen . You’

ll do for us, said the lieutenant,taking him by the collar of hi s j acket, and leading himout. “ There

'

s two words to that there bargain , sir,said Jack (who had had quantum sufl . of the reg

’

larsarvice) , with the air of one who knew that he stood on

unassailable ground . S o squirting out a li ttl e’

baccyj uice, and rummaging his j acket-pocket, he producedtherefrom a tin tobacco-box

,o f more th an ordinary

dimensions,from which

,after considerab l e fumbling ( for

Jack was evid en tly unused to handling literary docu


brown and dripping savage (for such h e looked ) scrambling on board . He sprungupon the deck, as a favouri teopera-dancer bounds upon the stage

,confident of an

applauding welcome, and, making a ducking salaam,

proceeded,in a very business-like manner

,to disengage

from his head a conical salt-basket sort of hat,from

which, secured under a fold of linen, he produced hisletters safe and dry ; these with the words, chi t

,sahib

,

spoken in ton es as delicate as the frame of the speaker,

he immediately delivered to the captain . The arrival ofthi s messenger caused a considerable sensation

,and the

griffs of all descrip tions gathered round him,conning

the strange figure with open mouths and wondering eyes .The l adi es, too ( stimulated by curiosi ty ) , rushed to thecuddy door to have a peep at him

,but made a rapi d

retreat on perceiv ing the p aradisiacal costume of ourhero . I shall never forget Miss O l ivia

’

s involuntaryscream , or Mi ss Dob b ikins

’

expression of coun tenance,on suddenly confronting this li ttle swarthy Apollo

Horror inall h is majesty was there,M ute and magnificent w i thout atear.

Our admiration of the catamaran man had h ardly subsided when a far more extraordinary character made hisappearance . “ Avast there, my hearties ! sounded therough voice of a seaman

,and make way for the com

modore. As he spoke, the crowd of sailors and re

cruits opened out, and his Excellency CommodoreCockle

,chief of the catamarans

,was seen advancing in

great state from the gangway. This potent commander,

who,by the way, had performed his toilet in transit”

,

after passing through the surf,was attired in an old

naval uniform coat, under which appeared hi s nakedneck and swarthy bosom ; a huge cocked-hat, which hadseen a li ttle service, a pair of kerseymere dress shorts,w i thout stockings, and a swinging hanger hanging at hisheels

,made up as strange a figure of th e genus scare

crow as I ever remember to have seen out of a cornfield .


By the powers, Pat , and what have we here ? s aidMick Nolan, one of the recrui ts, to his comrade PatCasey .

Faith, s ays Pat and myself can’t tell ye, unless

’tis one of them I ngw e raj ahs,or ould Neptune himself

,

that should have been after shaving us off the line .“ Devil a bi t, rej oined Mi ck ;

“I

’

m thinking i t’

ssometh ing of an Az

’

stem Guy Fawkes, th at’

s going toplay off some of h is fun amongst us.

”

Thus speculated the j okers,whilst the commodore

,

fully impressed with a sense of his importance,swaggered

about the deck with al l the qui et pride of a high official,putting questions , and replying to the queries of ol d aoquaintance . Alas poor humannature ! thou art everywhere essenti ally the same . Dear to thee i s a li ttl ep ower and authori ty in any shape, and thou ex h ib itest

thy fantasti c tri cks as much in the bells and feathersof the savage, as under the coif of the j udge, or theermine of the monarch The Commodore

,to whom the

English cognomen of Cockle”

had been given, ex er

cised his high functi ons under a commission furnishedhim by some wag, but of whi ch he was quite as proudas if i t had emanated from royalty i tself. It was couchedin the proper lz

'

ngua tec/zm'

ca of such instruments, andcommenced in something like the following manner“ Know all men by these presents

,that our trusty and

well-beloved Cockle i s hereby consti tuted Commodoreand Commander of the Catamaran Squadron

,and duly

empowered to exercise all the high functions thereuntoappertaining . The aforesaid Cockle i s authoriz edto render his services to all parti es requiring them

,on

their paying for the same . All captains and commanders of h is Maj esty

’

s and the Honourable C om

pany’

s ships,‘

and of all other ship s and vessel s whatsoever

,are hereby required and directed to take frui t

,

fish , eggs, &c.,from the said Cockle ( if they think fit) ,

on their paying him handsomely in the current coin ofthe realm

, &c.

32 MEMO IRS O F A GRIFFIN .

The next day the passengers went ashore ; officers

full fig ; l adies, civili ans, and cadets, al l in their bestattire

,crowding the benches of the M assoolah boat

,and

b alancing,and holding on as best they could . O f all

sea-going craft, from the canoe of the Greenlander tothe line of battle-ship , the M assoolah boat i s, perhaps,one of the most extraordinary. Imagine a huge affair

,

some thing 1n sh ape like one of those paper cock boatswhich children make for amusement

,or an old-fashioned

tureen,or the transverse section of a pear or pumpkin ,

stem and stern alike, composed of li ght and flex ib le

planks,sewn together with coir

,and ri ding buoyan t as a

gull on the heaving wave, the sides rising six feet or soabove i ts surface , the huge empty shell crossed by narrowplanks or b enches, on which , when seated , or ratherroosted

,your legs d angle m air several feet from th e bot

tom : further, plcture 1n the fore-part a dozen or morespare black creatures, each working an unwieldy polelike paddle to a dismal and monotonous chant— and youmay have some idea of a M assoolah boat and its equip age ; the only thing , however, that can l ive in thetremendous surf that lashes the coast of Coromandel .

“Are you all righ t there,in the M assoolah boat ?

shouted one of the ship’

s o fficers .

“ Ay, ay, sir,”

responded a little middy in charge of

Cast her off then, said the voice and immediately the

connecting rope was thrown on board, and off we swung,gently rising and fall ing on the long undulations

,which

were soon to assume the more formidable character ofbursting surges . As we advance

,I honestly confess

,

though I put a bold face on i t, I felt most confoundedlynervous

,being under serious apprehensions that one of

the many sharks I had just seen would soon have thepleasure of breakfasting on a gentleman c adet

,cote

Zettes it la Gr ifin, no doub t, if gastronomy ranks as anart amongst that voracious fraternity . O n approachingthe surf

,the b oatmen

’

s monotonous chant quickened to

MEMO IRS or A GRIFFIN . 33

a wild ulluloo . We were in med ias res . I lookedastern

,and there , at some distance, but in full chase,

advanced a curling mountain-bill ow , opening i ts vast concave j aws

,as i f to devour us . O n, on i t came .

“Ullee I

ullee ! ullee ! shouted the rowers ; smash came thewave ; up flew the stern, down went the prow ; squallwent the ladies

,over canted the maj or

,Grundy, and the

e x -resident,while those more fortunate in retaining their

seats held on with all the energy of alarm with one handand dashed the brine from their habiliments wi th theother . The wave p assed , and order a l ittl e restored , theboatmen pulled again w i th redoubled energy, to make asmuch way as they could before the next should overtake us.

I t soon came,roaring like so many fiends, and with

nearly similar results . Another and another followed,till

,at last

,the unwieldy bark, amidst an awful bob

bery,swung high and dry on the shelving beach and out

w e all sprung, right glad once more to feel ourselves ontermfi rma, respecting which , be i t observed, eupassant,I hold the opinion of the Persian, that a yard of i t i sworth a thousand miles of salt-water.Here then was I at last, i n very truth , treading the

soil of India—of that wondrous , teaming , and antiqueland

,the fertile subj ect of my earliest thoughts and im

aginations—that land whose barbaric pearl and gold ”

has stimulated the cupidity of nations down the longstream of time , from Sabaean

,Phoenician, Tyri an , and

Veneti an,to Mynheer Van S tockenb reech , and honest

John Bul l himself—whose visionary luxuries havewarmed full many a Western poet

’

s imagination,and

whose strange vicissi tudes have furnished such amplematter to adorn the moralis t

’

s and historian’

s p ages .As I gazed on the turbaned crowds

,the flaunting

robe s,the huge umbrellas, the p assing palankeens, the

black sentinels, the strange birds, and even (pardonthe climax ) the little strip e d squirrels, which gambolledup and down the pillars of the custom-house—sights sonew and strange to me,—I almost began to doubt mv

D

3 1 MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN .

own iden tity,and to think I had fallen into some new

planet. Assuredly, of all the sunny moments whichchequer the path of life

’

s pilgrimage here below,there

are few whose brigh tness c an compare wi th those of ourfirst entrance on a new and untrodden l and . Whatmusic i s there in every sound ! What an exhil aratingfreshness in every obj ect ! The peach

’

s bloom, the butterfly

’

s down , or th e painted bubble, how ever, are buttypes of them . Alas ! as of al l sublunary enj oyments,they vanish upon contact, or at best, bear not long th egrasp of possession .

My feelings were still in a state of tumultuous excitemen t

,when

,gazing about, I observed a n ative, in flowing

robes and large gold ear-rings , bearing down upon me .With a profound salaam , and the smirking smile of anold acquaintance

,he proceeded to address me

How d’

ye do, Sare ? said h e.

Pretty well, thank you, said I , smiling ; but whoare you?

“I,

.R amee S awmee Dabash , Sare, come to makemaster proper compliment. Very glad to see master safeon shore ; too much surf, I think, and master

'

s coatl ee tle wet .

”

No t a little,said I , for we have all h ad a complete

scusing.”

Oh, never mind souse, S are ; I take to Navy Tavernthere makee changee

—eat good dinner. Navy Tavernvery good place—plenty gentlemen go there .

”

Where you please, said I I am at your servi ce .Ver well

,Sare ; but ( in a tone of entreaty) you

please no t forget my name, Ramee S awmee Dabashmaster

’

s dabash—I am oer honest man ; too much everygentl eman know me .Here Ramee Sawmee unconsciously spoke the truth

,

as I had afterwards full occasion to discover. I was

soon besieged wi th more of these gentry offering theirservices ; but Ramee S awmee, having the best right topluck me

,by reason of prior possession, ordered them


off indignantly and no t to incur risks by unnecessarydelays

,he called a palankeen, and requested me to ge t

into i t. In I tumbled , wrong side foremost, and off westarted for th e Navy Tavern . He ran alongside, notwishing to lose sight of me for a moment

,pouring hi s

disin terested advice into my ear in one voluble and con

tinuous stream .

“ Master, you please take care ; dis place, said h e,

too much dam rogue, thi s Madras ; plenty bad beebee,and some rascal dabash ver much cheatee gentlemen . Igive master best advice . I ver honest man .

”

I though t myself singularly fortunate, in the simplici tyof my griflinish heart, in having fallen in wi th so valuab le 'a character ; b ut, in the sequel, as has been beforehinted

,I discovered what, I dare say, many a grifi

"

hadd i scovered before , that Ramee S awmee had a li ttle overestimated himself in the above p arti cular article ofhonesty .

Swel tering through a broiling sun, and abundance ofdust

,w e reached the N avy Tavern, a building somewhat

resembling, i f I recollect rightly, one of our own greenverandab

’

d suburban taverns , in which comfortable ci tsdine and drink heavy wet in sultry summer evenings .Here I found a vast congregation of naval and militaryofficers, red coats and blue ; mates, midshipmen, pursers,captains

,and cadets some playing billiards, some

smoking,and o thers drowning care in bowls of sangaree

,

in which fascinating beverage, by the way, with guavas,pine-apples

,&c., I also indulged , till brought up, some

time after,by a pleasant li ttle touch of dysentery

,which

had nearly produced a catastrophe ; amongst the direconsequences of which would have been the non-appearance of these valuable Memoirs . From the NavyTavern, Grundy and I went the next day to the quartersappointed for young Bengal officers detained at M adras .These consisted of some tents pi tched in an open sandyspot

,within the fort, and presented few attractions ;

besides some small ones for dormitories,there was aD 2


l arger one d ignified with the appellation of the messtent . Here , at certain stated hours, a purveyor, denominated a butler, but as unlike one of those gentlemanlypersonages so called at home as can well be imagined ,placed breakfast

,tiflin

,and dinner, on table at so much

a-head . For two or three days I revelled in the deligh tsof sour Madeira, tough mutton , and skinny kid, withyarns

,and o ther miserable succedanea for European y ege

tables . AnEgypti an plague of flies, and a burning sunbeating through the single clo th of the ten t

,made up

the sum of the agreeab les to which we were subj ected .

My faith in the “ luxuries of the E ast had received asevere shock , and I was fast tending to downright infid elity on that head, when a big-whiskered fellow, wi thturban, badge, and silver sti ck, pu t a billet in to myh and

,which was the means of soon restoring me to the

pale of orthodoxy . It was from an eccentric barone t, towhom I had brough t letters and a parcel from hisdaugh ter i n England , and ran thus :

001. S ir Jeremy Skeggs presents his compliments toM r. Gernon , and thanks him for the c are he has takenof the letters &c. , from his daugh ter . Mrs . Hearty ,S ir J . Skeggs sister

,will b e happy to see M r. G .

,and

will send a palankeen for him .

I packed up my all (an operation soon effected) , go ti nto an elegant palankeen , which made i ts appearanceshortly after the note, and escorted by a body of silverstick men for M r. Hearty was a man in authori tyI bade adieu to the tents, and leaving Grundy and someo ther cadets, though wi th a strong commiserative feeling,to struggle w i th the discomforts I have mentioned, wasconveyed at a slapping pace to my host

’

s garden residence, on the Mount Road . This was a flat roofedbuild ing, in the peculiar style of the country, of twostories—a large portico o ccupying nearly the wholelength of th e front . I t was approached by a longavenue of parkinsonias

,and surrounded, and p artly oh

soured,by ri ch masses of tmpical foliage, in which the


and peculi arly pleasing address . His manners , indeed,were quite of what i s termed the old school

, d ignified andpolished

,but w i th al a little formal ; far superior, however,

to modern brusquer ie , and that selfishness of purposewhich , too often disdaining disguise, sets at nought th e“ small courtesies

”

which so greatly sw eeten existence .H is wife, much his j unior, was a handsome woman ofeight-and-twenty

,gay and lively

,and apparently much

attached to her lord,in spi te of the disp ari ty of their

years . He,i n fac t, was one of those rarely-seen well

preserved old men, of whom a young woman migh t b eboth proud and fond . My hos t l ived in the good olds tyle of Indian hospitali ty, of which absence of unnecessary restraint

,abundance of good cheer

,and th e most

unaffected and cordial welcome,constituted the essential

elements .In India, from various causes

,perhaps sufficiently

obvious,the English heart, naturally generous and kind,

has or had ful l room for expansion ; and the luxury ofdoing good

,in the shape of assembling happy faces

around the social board, canbe enj oyed , without, as too

frequently the case here,the concomi tan t dread of out

running the constable,or trench ing too deeply on the

nex t day'

s quantum of hashed mutton . Certainly, ourclose packing in these d ensely populated lands may giveus polish

, but i t rubs o ff much of the natural enamel ofour virtues .M r. Hearty

’

s house was qui te Liberty Hall, in i tsfullest meaning. E ach guest h ad his bedroom, wherehe could read , wri te, or doz e ; or i f he preferred i t, hecould hunt squi rrels , shoot with a rifle, as my friend, theScotch cade t

,and I d id si t wi th the ladies in the draw

ing -room and play the flu te,or enj oy any o ther equally

intellectual amusement,between meals

,at which the

whole party, from various quarters, were wont to assemble,rubbing their hands

,and greeting in that warm manner,

which commonly resul ts where peeple have been wel lemployed in the interim , and not had too much of each

«MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN. 39

o ther’8 company . M r. Hearty’

s house was full of visitorsfrom all points of the compass .There was a cap tain of cavalry and lady

,from Banga

lore ; a very dyspeptic looking doctor from Vizagapatam ;a missionary, bent on making the natives all samemaster

’

s caste,” through the medium of hi s proper verna

cular ; a strapping S cotch artillery cadet,before alluded

to,some six feet two

,and who was my particular friend

and crony,with several others , birds of passage like my

self. Amongst these , t o my great delight and astonishment

,I found the lovelyMi ss O l ivia and her sister. N ow

,

then , reader, prepare yourself for one o f the most soulstirring and pathetic passages of these Memoirs . Shadeo f Petrarch , I invoke thee ! Spiri t of Jean Jacques, impart thy aid

,whilst in honest but tender guise I pour

forth my “ confessions . Yes,as an honest chronicler of

events, I am bound to tell i t— the candour of a griffindemands that i t should out. I fell over head and ears inlove—’

twas a most violent attack I had, and I think Iwas full three months getting the better of i t. It wouldb e, however, highly derogatory to the digni ty of thatp leasing passion, were I to trail the account of i ts manifestations at the fag end of a chapter ; I shall , therefore,reserve my confessions of the soft impeachment

,and

my voyage to C alcutta, for the next .

CHAPTER V.

PE ACE be with the soul of that charitable andcourteous author, who, for the common b enefit of hi sfellow-authors

,introduced the ingenious way of misesl

laneous wri ting ! —so says the great Lord Shaftesbury ;and I hear tily respond to the sentiment

,th at mode

admi tting of those easy transi tions from grave to gay,

from l ively to severe, which so well agr ee wi th myd iscursive humour. Having thus premised

,le t me pro

40 MEMOIRS or A GRIFFIN.

ceed with my story , which now begins to assume a graveraspect.Love

,th at p assion productive of so many pains and

pleasures to mortals, the most easily, perhaps, aw akened ,and the most d ifii cult to control, b egins full early wi thsome of us ( i diosyncrati cally susceptible) to manifest i tsd i sturbing effects : the li ttle vol cano of the heart ( tospeak figuratively) throws out i ts transien t and flickeringflames long anteri or to a grand eruption . Lord Byron

’

shi story exhibi ts a great and touching example of thi sh is early but unrequited attachment to th e beauti ful Mi ssChaworth served undoubtedly, i n after-l ife, to tinge hisch aracter w i th that sombre cast whi ch has imparted i tselfto th e splendid creati ons of his immortal genius . Likehim (if I may dare include myself in the same category ) ,when but nine or ten summers h ad passed over my head

,

I too had my lady love,

”

w ho,albei t n o Mary Chaworth

,

was nevertheless a very pretty li ttl e bl ue-eyed girl, thedaughter of our vill age doctor . I think I now beholdh er, in the ey e of my remembrance, with her whitemuslin frock

,long pink sash , and necklace of coral beads ,

h er flax en curls t h ing wildly 1n the breez e , or sportingin all conceivable lines of beauty over her alabaster neckand forehead . Full j oyous was I when an invi tationcame for Master Frank Gernon and his brother Tom todrink tea at D r. Anodyne

’

s . How motherly and kindwas good Mrs . Anodyne on these occasions ! how trulyl iberal of her pound-cake and syllabubDear woman ! sp ite of thy many failings, which al llean to virtue’s sid e

,

"

in the sweet relations of mo ther,

wife,sister friend

,thou art a being to be almost wor

shipped . Tis you who hold man’

s destinies i n yourhands . Harden your minds without the limits of bluestockingism,

as a counterpoise to the softness of yourhearts ; acquire independence of thought and moralcourage

,and you w i ll ye t convert the world into a

paradise ! The li ttle bard of Twickenham has, on the

whole,maligned you : mistaken the facti tious for the

MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN . 4 1

original ; the faults of educati on for the defects of

nature ; the belle of 1 700 for the woman of al l timebut was sti ll right when he said,

Courage w ith softness, modesty w i th pride,Fi x

’

d principles—w ith fancy ever new

S hake all together, it produces—you.

Pretty Louisa ! my first love,long since perhaps th e

mother of a tribe of li ttle rusti cs or sleeping, perchance,soundly in your own village church-yard ! like a fairyvi sion

,you sometimes vi si t me in my dreams

,or

,when

qui tting for a season the stern, hard reali ties w hich en

viron my manhood , I lose myself 1n the sweet 1 emembrancos of boyhood 3 days ! Well, thi s was my first grandlove affair ; now for my nex t, to which I deem i t a fittingprel iminary . Griffins

,look to your hearts

,for youwill

have some tough assaults mad e upon that suscep tibleorgan on the other side of the Cape

,where (owing, I am

told , to the high range of the thermometer) i t becomesmorbidly sensi tive . Take care

,too , you do no t have to

sing,with a rather lachrymose twist of the faci al muscles,

“ Dark i s my doom ! or, led on by your sensibiliti eswithin the toils of a premature matrimonial union , youhave not to inscrib e over your domici le

,ap es etfor tuna

valete .

The party at M r. Heartys, or some of them ,rode out

every even ing in the carri age, and I gene1ally, l ike agallant gritfin, took up a posi tion by the steps, for thepurpose of handing them ih—that i s

,the female portion .

The precise amount of pi essure which a young lady ofsixteen (no t stone, but years, be pleased to understand ,for i t makes a material difference) must impart to a younggentleman

’

s h and,when he tenders h is services on

occasions of thi s nature,in order to be in love with him,

i s a very nice and curious question in Amorics ( Itake credi t for the invention of that scientific term ) . I n

estimating i t, however, so many things may affec t theaccuracy of ajudgment, that it i s p erhap s undesirable torely on deductions therefrom, either one way or the other,


as a secure b asis for ul terior proceedings . Touching thecase of the charming O l ivi a and myself

,though there

was certainly evidence of the lz z'

g /z-

p ressm'

e system,I

might long have fel t at a loss to decide on the real stateof her feelings, had not my hand on these occasions beenaccep ted with a tell-tale blush

,and a swee t and encourag

ing smile, that spoke volumes . Let me no t be accusedo f vani ty, if I say, then , that the evidence of my havingmade an impression on the y oung and susceptib le hear tof O l ivia Jenkins was too decided to be mistaken . Ifel t that I was a favouri te

,and I burned wi th all the

ardour of a griffinto d eclare that the sentiment sz’

d ouxwas reciprocal . The wished-for occasion was not long1npresenting i tself.One evening, O l ivi a and some of the party remained

at home, the carriage being fully occupied without them .

O ff drove M r. and Mrs . Hearty, and a whole posse offri ends and visi tors

,to take their usual round by Chepauk

and the Fort,kissing hands to O livi a and one or two

o thers,who stood on the terrace to see them depart .

They were no sooner gone than I proceeded to enj oy myaccustomed saunter i n the coco -nut grove, at the back ofthe house . There was a delicious tranquillity in thehour which produced a soothing effect on my feelings .The sun had Just dipped his b road orb in the ocean, andhis p arting beams suffused with a ruddy warmth the trulyO riental scene around . Flocks of paroquets, screamingw i th deligh t

,were wheeling homewards their rapid fligh t

the creak of the well-wheel,an Ind i an rural sound , came

wafted from distant fields, and the ring-doves were uttering their plaintive cooings from amidst the shady bowersof the neighbouring garden

The ai r, achartered libertine, was still.

I walked and mused,gazing around on the animated

scenes of nature,which always delight me, when suddenly

one of the most charming of all her works, a beautifulgirl, appeared before me . I t was O l ivia, who met me

MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN. 4 3

( undesi gnedly of course ) at a turn of the avenue . Sheappeared absorbed in a book

,which , on hearing my steps,

she suddenly closed,and with a blush

,which caused the

eloquent blood to moun t responsive in my cheeks, sheexclaimed .

Oh, M r. Gernon,i s this you? Your servant, sir !

(courtesying half- coquettishly ) who would have expectedto meet youhere all alone, and so solemnly musing ?

“ Is there any thing more extraordinary in i t,Mi ss

O livia, said I , than to hnd you also alone , and enj oy~

i ng your intellec tual repast, under the shade of melancholy boughs The Chinese

,I believe , think that

human hearts are uni ted from birth by unseensi lken cord s,which contrac ting slowly but i surely , bring them togetherat last . What think you

,O livi a ? I continued (we

grow familiar general ly on the eve of a declaration ) ,may not some such invisible means of attraction h avebroughtus together at thi s momentO livia looked down

,her pretty little foo t being busily

engaged in investigating the character of a pebble, orsomething of the sort

,that l ay on the walk

,and in

distinctly replied,that she had really never much

considered such weighty and mysterious subj ects, butthat i t might be even so . Encouraged by thi s reply, ye ttrembling at the thought of my own audacity (bulle tswhizzing past me since have not produced half thetrepidation ) , I placed myself near her, and gently takingthe li ttle, soft, whi te hand which listlessly, but invitingly,hu1

3g by her side, I said (I was sorely puzzled what to

sayI—I—was delighted, dear O l iv1a to find you a

visi tor here on my arrival the other day .

Were you, M r. Gernon,”

said the lively girl,turning

upon me her soft blue eyes, in a manner which brough ton a fresh attack of d elir ium tremens delighted

’

i sa strong term

,but M r. Gernon, I know, is rather fond of

such , li ttle heeding their full import.”

“ S trong ! I replied,instantly falling into heroi cs ;


i t but '

feeb ly expresses the pleasure I feel on seeing you. O h , dearest O livia, I continued

,all the

b arriers of reserve giving way at once before the hightide of my feelings,

“i t i s in vain longer to d i ssemb le”

(here I gently passed my other unoccupied arm roundher slender waist) ;

“ I love you with the fondes taffection . Deign to say th at I possess an interest inyour heart.A sligh t and almost imperceptibl e increase of pres

sure from the li ttl e hand locked in mine,and a timid

look from the generally lively but now subdued andabashed girl , was th e silen t but expressive answer Ireceived . I t was enough

,for a grifi

'

,at least. I drew

h er closer to my side— she slowly averted her head ;mine followed i ts movement . The vertebral columnhad reached i ts rotary limi t— so that there was a sortof surrender at discretion and I imprinted a long andfervent kiss on the soft and downy cheek of O livi a.Oh, blissful cl imax of a thousand sweet emotions ;too exquisi te to endure

,too precious for fate to accord

more than once in an exi stence—the first innocen t kissof requited afiectionn how can I ever forget ye ?

Let raptured fancy on that moment dwell,Whenmy fond vow s in trembling accentsifenWhen love acknow ledged w oke the trembling sigh ,S w elled my fond breast and filled the melting eye.

Yes,surely , love i s heaven

,and heaven i s love, as

has been sai d and sung any time for the l ast threethousand years ; and Mahomed showed himself deeplyread in the human heart

,when he made the chief d e

ligh t of hi s p aradise to consist in i t ; not, I suspec t,as i s generally imagined

,th e passion in i ts purely

gross acceptation,but that elevating and refining sen

timent which beautifully attunes all our noblest emo

tions ; which , when i t swells the heart, causes i t tooverflow,

like a mantling fountain , to refresh and fertiliz eall around . No , I shall never forget the thrill of delightw ith which I commi tted that daring ac t of petty larceny.


Do you remember, said I , adverting to old times,our meeting in th e coco -nut grove at Mad ras ?“Ah ! she replied, wi th a sigh ,

“ I do indeed ; butsay no more of i t ; a recurrence to the sunshiny daysof my youth always makes me sad : le t us speak ofsomething else— the recent , the present, the future .

ale ar at 916 ak

There was one little thing d ey d o call d e mosquito,He bitee d e blackmans, he no let him sleep o

S ing ting ring, ting ting ring ting , ting ring ting taro.

S o then runs the negro’

s song ; and unless all is i llusion and delusion , as the Berkleyans hold, the

“ whitemans ,

” as I can vouch from actual experi en ce, aree qually enti tled to have their misfortunes as patheticallyrecorded . I believe, however, i t would be as d ifficult tosay anything en tirely origin al about musquitoes as todi scover a new pleasure, or the long sought desideratumof p erpetual motion ; nevertheless, my subj ect beingIndia

,i t would no t be eu reg le to pass them over alto

gether in silence ; suffice i t therefore to say,the first

nigh ts of my stay at M r. Hearty’

s I was by a crueloversight put into a bed wi thout th e usual appendagea set of gauz e curtain s . The door of my apartment

,

which was on th e ground floor, opened on the garden,and a well, a pool, and a dense mass of foli age, formed asplendid musquito preserve, within a few yards of i t. A

couple of oil lights, in wall shades, bu1nt in the room ;the doors were Open, the nigh t close and Oppressive . Itwas truly ‘‘ the genial hour for burning

,though not

exactly in Moore’

8 sense of the passage and then such aconcerto l—“

Quack ! quack ! quack ! said the mez z osop rcmo voices of th e li ttle frogs—“

croak l croak !croak ! responded in deep bass the huge Lab laches ofthe pool—“ cli ck ! cli ck ! wen t the liz ards “ ghur 'ghur the musk-rat, as h e rich eted round th e room ,

emitting his offensive odour whilst

Countless fire-fl ies, gems of light;Bright j ewels of th e trop icnight,

MEMO IRS O F A GRIFFIN . 47

spangled the trees in all directions . The idea of Al addin’s garden

,to which hi s so i -d z

’

sant uncle introducedhim,

was presenting i tself to my mind , when the nip of amusquito recalled me from the fanciful to the consideration of p ainful reali ties . The sul try heat of an Indiannigh t in the rains i s sometimes terrific : no t a breathmoving but

,to make up for it, a universal stir of rep ti le

and insec t l ife,with a croak, hum , hi ss, and buzz, per

fectly astounding. What a priz e for the musquitoes wasI—a fine, fresh , ruddy gritfin, full of wholesome blood,the resul t of sea-breezes

‘

and healthy chylification ! and,in good sooth , they did fall foul of me with the appeti teof gluttons . S leep ! bless your dear, simple heart, th ething was about as possible as for S t. Law rence to havereposed on his gridiron . I tingled from top to toe wi than exquisi te tingling. In vain I scratched— in vain Itossed— in vain I rolled myself up like a corpse in aw inding-sh eet. Nough t would do so out I j umped

,

half phrenzied, and dipping my hand in the oil-glassesof the lamps

,I rubbed their unctuous contents over

my body, to deaden the intolerable i tching— eu effectwhich in some degree i t produced . Thus I spen t thelong hours of the sultry nigh t ; towards morning , themusquitoes being gorged, tortured into insensibility,and nature fairly w orn out

,I procured a little rest .

At breakfast I made my appearance on two cousecutive mornings a ludicrous figure, the obj ect at once ofp ity and amusemen t : eyes bunged up, lip s swelled, andchecks pufi

'

ed out, li ke bully Aj ax in Homer Travestz'

e,

al l of which , to a young manof decent exterior, and who ,in those days, rather valued himself on hi s appearance,was exceedingly annoying . Mrs . Hearty, though with alook in which the comic and the tragic struggled for themastery, now took compassion on me, expressed greatregret for the oversigh t, and furnished my

'b ed with a setof musquito-curtains . “Whine away

,you rascal s

,

” saidI then to the musquitoes, exultingly ; blow your pennytrumpets, you everlasting vagabonds you have h ad your


last meal on me, rest assured . What glorious sleep Ihad after th at !After a fortnigh t

’

s stay at Madras, and a vain searchfor Ramee S awmee Dabash , who , hav ing some linen ofmine to get washed , and a small b al ance of money toaccount for, though t i t

“too much trouble to make his

appearance,I bid ad ieu to my hospitable friends

,re

embarked on board the R ottenbeam Castle, and setsail for Bengal. Our soci ety, officers and passengers

,

met agai n with renewed pleasure, temporary separati onbeing a great enlivener of the kindly feelings, which, l ikeeverything else

,require tac t and management to keep

them in a state of vigour. E ach , during his soj ourn on

shore,appeared to have renovated his stock of ideas, and

to have picked up something congenial to his peculiarhumour. The colonel had met with several old fri ends

,

and matters to be told,

“ wondrous and strange,

”

andquite out of the common

,followed as a natural conse

quence. Grinnerson had had some “ rare larks andsprees

”

ashore,and been coming the old sold ier over

some young hands at the Navy Tavern . Mi ss Dob b ikins

cri ti ci sed rather severely (as her Bath experiences gaveher every right to do) the tournure of the Madras belles,whom she had seen at b all s and conversaz z

'

one . Capt .M arpeet, who had been at sundry ! drills and reviews,favoured us with elaborate discussions on the mili taryperformances of the M ulls

,

alt which he considered veryinferior to those of the Qm

’

byes , by whom ,to borrow his

own nervous and expressive phraseology ,“ they were

beaten by chalks . Even the usually taciturn Grundybecame eloquent

,when he spoke of the lux ur ies of th e

tents, and h is sufferings from the musquitoes ; and asfor myself

,being of an arti s tical turn , I enlarged prin ci

pally on the interesting character of Ori ental scenery,

but omi tting, of course, some of the peculiar attracti onsof the ooco-nut grove .

M ulls—cant term for Madrassees.


CHAPTER VI.

O N leaving the road s of Madras, we ben t our course toth e eastward . For a day or two w e had ligh t winds andagreeable weather, and our gall ant vessel glided ou, undera cloud of snowy canvas, like some stainless swan beforethe dimpling breezes of ’ a mountain tarn

,little heeding

the coming danger, which was to lay all her bravery low .

Soon,however

,a (b y me) never-to-b e-forgotten tornado,

w hich I shall attemp t to describe,burst in upon us in all

i ts fury.

The first indication we had of the coming storm (beingstil l but a short distance from Madras ) was on the morning of the third day

,when a few wild clouds began to

scatter themselves over the face of the hi therto spotlesssky . The breeze freshened

,and an occasional squall

made the good ship salaam deeply to the waves . CaptainM cGuffin looked to windward, shook his head, and appeared grave . He now (for there was evidently mischiefbrewing) held a brief consultation with Gillans, the chiefmate , and then immediately ordered the small sails to betaken in. At about 8 P M . of the same day

,the fore and

main topsails,as I was told , were double-reefed , and the

mainsail and maintopsail furled . The next morning, thebreeze sti ll continued strong, and the albatrosses andgannets, heralds of the storm,

skimmed wildly over th eyeasty waves . A heavy and a turbulent sea now got up,

which broke over the ship, causing her to roll heavily ,and admit much water.We

’

re in for i t, I’

m afraid,said Grinnerson to the

first mate, and no mistake .You may say that, when you write home to your

friends, growled forth th at sententious wor thy I’

d

rather be looking at the end than the beginning o f it, Ican tell you .


S carcely were the words out of Gillan’

s mouth , whena screeching blast flew through the shrouds and ratl ines“ bang ! went one of the sails, with the report of a sixpounder, and the R ottenbeam Castle took a deep andfearful heel to leeward .

“ How’

s her head now ? said Gillans,with energy

,

starting up, to the man at the wheel .North-east

,and by east

,sir, was the quick reply.

All h ands aloft, roared the mate, to take in mainsail and away went the tars swarming up the rigging

,

poor li ttle shivering midd ies and all , and the peri lousduty was soon performed , the sail being set to steady her.Towards noon

,the wind and sea increased, and the

weather wore a still more threatening appearance .There are few si tuations which more thoroughly call

forth al l th e noble energies and resources of man’

s mind,

than the working of a vessel in a tempest,or the order

ing of troops in the heat of a battle . A cool head,and

nerves as steady as a rock , are essenti ally necessary inboth . M cGuffin was qui te a Wellington in his way ;and on the present occasion, I fel t a pride in my countrymen, as I marked him, the officers, and men, calmly prep aring

,as i t were

,move by move, for the coming onset

of the gale .Down royal-masts and top -gallant yards

,shouted

the iron-tongued G illans ; and down , spi te of the flapping of canvas and h anging of blocks and ropes

,they

came in a trice . This precautionary measure was nottaken a whit too soon

,for the wind rapidly increased to

a gale,and the ship rolled heavily

,from the violence and

irregul ari ty of the sea . At this moment, Grundy, evid ently very uneasy, and in violation of all nauticaldecorum, began to whistle, less, probably, from want ofthought

,than wi th a view to drown i t. This brought

the first mate upon h im immediately.

Halloa,sir

,said he

,haven

’

t we got wind enough,

but youmust be whistling for more Drop that music,

if you please .

MEMOIRS or A GRIFFIN . 51

Grundy incontinently held h is peace . The dismayedp assengers now sought shelter in their cabins

,wi th the

exception of a few well-muffied storm amateurs, whoclung about the cuddy doors, casting furtive glancesaloft at the wild-driving scud

,and listening to the manly

voices of the officers and seamen as heard above theroaring of the gale . A rough cradle, and a dismal lull aby, indeed, was this, for myself and the o ther nauticalinfants on board .

At about 1 1 o’

clock - the wind increased ; the deckswere almost continually submerged , the fore and maintopsails were furled, and soon after the ship was wore, thesearunning mountains high , under the fore and maintop

-mast stay-sail . The cap tain , having ordered theforesail to be hauled up, the ship, in nautical language,was hove-to

,the gale blowing with uncommon fury .

The sky now began to assume a most threatening andlurid aspect . Just such a murky gloom surrounded usas that in which S atan i s finely described by Mi ltonwhen aloft incumbent on the dusky air

,he hovered

over that ever-burning region,which hi s “ unblest

feet”

were about to tread . The barometer fell rapidly,

and our courage,that i s

,of us landsmen, in a proportion

ate ratio,whilst the vast and angry billows, like wild and

maned steeds above prostrate foes,swept in rapid suc

cession over our quivering bark . With what intenselonging to be there did I now think of the snug greenp arlour and blazing sea-coal fire at home ! Ah ! though tI, with a sigh, how true i t is, we never know the valueof a friend till w e lose h im l

”

An attemp t to take in, and house, the top-gallan tmasts, failed, owing to the violent rolling of the ship ;but every thing practicable was effected by our indefatigable crew, although reduced by the

‘ recen t impressment,

to secure the masts from the evidently increasing hurric ane . The hatches were battened down , and all madesnug for the approaching “ tug of war.

”

All was nowbreathless suspense

,and a stern gravi ty sat on the boldest

E 2


countenance , when a sudden and tremendous blas t threwthe ship on her beam-ends, and, with a terrific crash , themainmast went by the board , carrying wi th it, in i ts fall ,the mizen-yard, poop, sky-lights, hen-coops, larboardquarter gallery, and three of our seamen . Here wasconfusion worse confounded —passengers and servantsmaking their escape from beneath the wreck—sai lorsshouting, tugging, and hauli ng—a ch aos of disastersenough to daunt, one would suppose , the stou test heart ;but h e li ttle understands the stuff of which Engli shseamen are composed, who thinks there was any quailingor relaxation of energy here . Sudden as the di sasterwere the efforts made to repair it. The voice of theo fficer was instantly heard above th e storm,

giving d irections

,and the active crew immediately at work , w i th

their axes, cutting the shrouds and ropes, for the purposeof detaching the wreck of the mast from the vessel ,which

,beating furi ously against the bottom and sides

,

seemed to threaten her with instant destruction .

Wi th infinite d ifficulty, thi s Operation was at last ef

fected , and the short but delusive“ pleasures of hope

”

once more dawned upon us. O n getting clear of thewreck

,the vessel p ar tially righted, the hurricane raging

with awful violence, the sea running righ t over her, andsweeping

,with resistless force, every opposing article

from the deck . Our only remaining sail , the foresail,was now,

with much d ifficulty, taken in, and the vesselscudded under b are poles . Throughout the remainderof the day , the hurricane raged with unabated fury : theship rolled gunwales under, and the water poured inthrough the aperture caused by the broken mast. Nevercan I forget the sounds and scenes below—th e groaningof the timbers

,the labouring and lurching of the ship ,

l ike the throes and struggles of a dying man ; the moansand cries of the women—stores, cargo, cabin, bulk-heads,baggage

,and a cannon or two, all loose and adrift, and

dashing with frightful violence from side to side , as i fanimated by some maddening spiri t of destruction .

54 msmoms or A GRIFFIN.

grumbling John Bulls of every grade, who own the

great oracl e of retrenchmen t as your leader, little need

ye grudge th e soldier or sailor his hard-earned pittance,the price of peril s such as these . An inky night

,whose

gloom was, ever and anon, pierced by a long, blue, zigzag flash of ligh tning

,like one of those wrath-directed

bolts of heaven , which Martin , with such fine effect, introduces into h is pictures—the roar of elements—the

crippled and lumbered vessel, rolling and plunging likea maddened steed

,encumbered with the wreck of a

shattered vehi cle,the few d im lanterns

,buttoned up, and

hugged to the bosoms of the quarter-masters, the dripping, comfortless, but uncomplaining tars ; the cap tain andhis officers, muffled i n fear-noughts, and the group , ofwhich I formed one

,clinging on here and there, in order

to see the worst of what w e had to encounter, formed aporti on of the picture . Then the stifled sobs, and shri eksand prayers from the women below

, filling, like the voice sof wai li ng spirits

,the momentary lullings of th e gale ;

the violent beatings of the fallen mast, like a catapult,against the bows

,fel t through the whole vessel, and fill

ing, even the stout hearts of the captain and his crewwith w ell founded di smay at each successive thump ,formed some of i ts alarming accompaniments .

Gi llans, we maun get clear of that mast, or’

twill b eth e ruin of us all,

”

shouted the captain through hi strumpet.G i llans paused a moment : I t must be done, sir ,

”

said he ; but how to get to her head through thi smountain sea I hardly know .

“ I’

l l try it, said the gallan t Grinnerson—the wagnow transformed into the hero happen what may.

S aying this, b e seized an axe, and accompanied by apart of the crew

,dashed forward

,holding by the sh at

tered bulwarks as they advanced . A few seconds ofbreathless suspense now elapsed, when a long dazzlingflash i llumined the vessel ; down she lay, deep in the

trough of the sea, whilst, by its light, a mountain wave

MEMOIRS or A GRIFFIN. 55

appeared hanging over her, like a spiri t of evil , and abou tto break by i ts own enormous weight. I t broke—downi t came, with a stunning smash, on the devoted vessel,taking her on the forecastle and midships, sp arkling andfiz z ing in the luri d glare of the lengthened flash . Theship dived down, as if about to be engulphed . We

’regone ! burst forth from many a voice . S lowly

,how

ever, she rose again from the effects of th e stunningblow, and another flash exhibited a group of sailors onthe forecastle

, actively cutting and hacking away at theropes and shrouds . In a few seconds the vessel seemedeased ; the mast had been cut away, and shortly after,the heroi c Grinnerson, streaming with sea-water, was

amongst us. He had escaped,though two of th e gallan t

fellows who had accompanied him had been swept awayto a watery grave .

“ The Lord be thankt ! ye ha’

e done weel,sir

,said

M cGuffin, wringing the second mate’

s hand in hi s irongripe ; ye ha

’

e saved the ship .

The sh ip was now relieved,and the wind evidently

falling , hope revived . I descended below , and throwingmyself into my cot, slep t, spi te of the uproar, soundlyti ll morning .

O n rising, I found the wind had greatly subsided ;but a heavy sea sti ll remained

,i n whi ch our mutilated

vessel rolled and tumbled like a porpoise. Al l danger,

however, was past, and th e sea was rapidly going down .

Damages were parti ally repai red . The crew and passengers refreshed themselves, and deep and heartfel t congratulations were exchanged . Cap tain M cGuffin, towards evening, the vessel being steadier, assembled thecrew on deck, and offered up th anksgivings to Him who

sti lleth the raging of the storm,for our happy preser

vation . I t was an impressive sigh t to behold theweather-beaten tars , their h ats reverenti ally defied,ranged along the deck

,their lately excited energies sunk

into the calm of a thoughtful and devotional demeanourth e p ale and jaded passengers

, seated abaft, many an eye

56 m moms or A GRIFFIN .

gratefully upturned ; the wild sea and battered hull andin th e cen tre

,bare-headed and erect, the tall and brawny,

yet simple-hearted man , our commander, his prayer-bookresting on the capstan , his left hand on the leaves , andhi s right stretched out, as, with a fervour which nothingbut his religious feeling could have exci ted in him ,

heread firmly, in his broad but nervous S co tch accen ts, theform of thanksgiving due to Him who had succouredusin our danger

,and with whom are the issues of li fe and

death .

”

To prove a p arti cular providence i s a hard and batflingtask ; but we can never err—or i f we do i t i s on therigh t side—when we pour out our hearts in grati tude toGod, for every blessing or deliverance, come to us bywhat concurrence of causes i t may.

By an observation w e now found we were oil"the Tenas

serim coast . The ship’

s head was consequently put tothe northward

,and on w e sai led towards our destination .

A t length,on a fine blow ing day 1n the S . W. monsoon

the good ship the R ottelzbeam Castle, after afive monthsvoyage, entered on the turbid waters of the Sand Heads,renowned for sharks, shipwrecks, and the intri cacy of i tsnavigation, dashing on in good style , despi te of th ebattering of the l ate gale

,under all the sai l she could

carry on the foremast,and two sp ars rigged out as sub

stitutes for those we had lost. Al l ey es were,at this

time, anxiously on the look-out for the pilo t . At lengtha sai l was visible on th e hori zon, and ere long , a rakishlittle brig, wi th the Company

’

8 Yankee looking pilo tcolours flying from the peak

,came bowling dow ,

n andwas pronounced nem. con. to be (strange mi snomer) thepilot schooner. Not a moment elapsed ere a boat,manned by lascars

,put off from her, and in a few

minutes more,th e rattle of oars and the boatswain

’

swhistle announced i ts arrival alongside . The pilot

,

accompanied by a bronzed stripling of fifteen, in aseaman

’

s round j acket and large straw hat, and whosebusiness was to cast the lead, now mounted the side, and


as he stepped on deck,touched his hat in a consequen

tial sort o f manner, which plainly indicated that p ilotswere no small men

,in these latitudes . M r. Merry

weather, for so I believe he was called, was one of anumerous cl ass

,variously subdivided

,called the pilo t

servi ce, whose extreme utility none can question whostudies a chart of the Sand Heads, and the embouchureof the Ganges . The seniors

,or branch-pilots

,are , some

of them,excellent old fellows , have their vessels inhigh

order, give capitalfeed s out of silver plate, and h ave generally some valetudinarian from Calcutta on board

,iny i

gerating the springs of existence by copious indraughtsof the sea-breeze . M r. Merryweather had quite the cutof an original , and I cannot, therefore, resist the inclination I feel to present the reader wi th a sketch of him .

He was a sturdy, square-buil t man , of about forty, ofwhose j olly countenance i t might be truly said

,and in

the l anguage of the Latin grammar, guz

’

color albus

erat, mmc est contrar z

’

us albo . It presented,at one

view , one of the most singular compounds of brown,bri ckdust

,and purple I ever beheld clearly indi cating

that i t had long been the scene of a fierce struggle forthe ascendency between the skyey influences of theSand Heads , on the one hand , from without, and thoseof aqua vitae, from within . Sun and wind

,on the whole

seemed to have had the best of i t ; but the forces ofaqua vi ta had made a most determined stand on thatelevated position , the nose , from which there appearedli ttle chance of their being dislodged . Our sturdyPalinurus was attired in a camlet coat, with the uniformlion button , the colour whereof, once blue, now exhibitedin i ts latter days , like a dying dolphin, a variety of interesting shades ; a pair of tight nankeens, extendingabout half-way down the calf

,encased his lower ex tremi

ties,very fully exhibiting their sturdy and unsymmetri

cal proportions,in which the line of beauty

,admi tting

that to be a curve,had by Dame N ature been most

capriciously applied . He would h ave met with a dis

58 ME MOIRS O F A GRIFFIN .

tinguish ed recep tion in Laputa, being built on strictlymathematical principles ; for one leg exhibited the segment of a circle , the other something very like anob tuse angle . In a sinewy and weather beaten hand

,

spotted like the toad,he grasped a huge telescope

,

covered wi th rusty green baiz e,the length of which

was nearly the standard of a man ; whilst a largewhite hat

,which bore nearly the same proportion to

his siz e that a mushroom does to i ts stalk,completed

a manly,but no t very inviting

,portrai t.

“M r. Merryweath er

,ma gude friend

, I’

m glad tosee ye luking sae weel ,

”

exclaimed our S co tch commander, who, i t appeared , was an old acquaintance ofthe pilot

’

s . “Why, somebody telt me at Madras, that

ye’

ed been near deeing sin’

w e were here last.“Ay, ay, they told you right, captain ; I had a very

tightish touch of the mollem cor bas, or whatever’

ti scalled

,after you left us. Yes , I was within a pin t of

getting a birth in Padres Shepherd’

s godown ; howsomever

,the old

’

coman and Dr. Dusgooly brought myh ead round to the wind somehow, and now I

’

m asfresh as a lark, as a man might s ay in a manner, andready for a tumbler of your toddy, cap tain , with asl ittle dayligh t in i t as you please,—ha, ha, ha1Thus he ran on for some time

,and then in a

similar style, gave us the latest news of the presidency,which

,to the best of my recollection

,consisted of

a mutiny,death of a puisne j udge , and a talked

of-war with Nundy Row Bickermajeet, a potentate o fwhom none of us had heard before .The captain now duly deposed

, M r. Merryweathertook charge of the vessel

,and marched up and down

the deck with all the confidence of a small man invested wi th a little brief authori ty

,now peering under

the sail,and conning the bearings of the buoys, which

h ere and there rode gallantly in the ch annel, like thehuge floats of some gi ant bobbing for whale ; anonasking briskly the man at the wheel how her head


was, or thundering out some peremptory order for trimming or shortening the sail . Thus we glided on throughthe turbid channel , whilst strong ripples or long lines ofsurf, on either hand, with here and there the slantingmasts of a stranded vessel

,indicated the peri lous nature

of the navigation . At l ast w e caught a glimpse of asmall island, but recently emerged from th e waves, beinglike many others at the mouths of great rivers

,of rapid

diluvial formation,and immediately after, the low, marshy

and j ungle-covered shores of S augor Island broke insigh t .To those whose Oriental 1maginings have led them to

expect in the first view of Indian land some lovely sceneof groves, temples, and clustering palm trees, the sightof the long low line of dismal sunderbund and swampmust not be a li ttl e disappointing. S anger, however,Bengal tigers

,and the fate of young Munro

,are associ

ated subj ects,naturally blended with our earliest recol

lections. Full oft in my boyi sh days had I gazed on apicture representing the monster springing open-mouthedon his victim

,and wondered if i t would ever be my lot

to visit a country where pic -nics were disturbed by suchferocious intruders . Viewed

,then

,as the head quarters

of the tigers, and the scene of this memorable exploi t ofone of their body, and also as the outpost of our destination, I deemed Sanger a sort of classi c ground, andgazed upon i t with a proportionate interest . Many aneye, too, besides my own , was bent towards the island,which wore a most sombre and miserable aspect.Thinking M r. Merryweather a person likely to be well

informed on the subj ect,I ventured to ask him

,civilly

,

if tigers were as numerous on the island as in youngM r. Munro s time . I at the same time solicited the loanof hi s telescope, thinking, peradventure, I might by itsaid descry a royal Bengal tiger, i n full regali a, enjoyinghi s evening perambul ation on the beach . The pilotstared at me

,with as much astonishment as the Brob

dignag did at the Splacknuck, when he heard him talk,

60 MEMOIRS or A GRIFFIN .

or M r. Bumble, in Dickens’

admirable novel,when the

unfortunate O liver asked for more soup ; but soonsettled i t in h is mind that I was an arrant griffin, andthat i t was no t worth his while to b e parti cularly c ivi l tome .Tigers ! he grunted out ; Ay, ay, there

’

s plentyo

’

them,I dare say ; but I

’

ve something else besidestigers to think about, young gentleman and youmustn

'

t talk to me d’

ye see, when I’

m engaged with awessel . A s for the glass

,i t

’

s in hand,and you

’

d betterask some one else to lend you one .

To borrow the language of the fancy,I was regul arly

floored by this rebuff, and incontinently h eld my peace,determining to reserve my zoological inquiries for a fitteroccasion and more communicative person ; at the sametime, lost in astoni shmen t that a man could actually passh is life in sight of Saugor Island, and yet feel no interestin royal Bengal tigers . The delusion i s a common one

,

and not confined to griffins, which leads people toimagine that others must b e interested in what they arefull of themselves .The wind now suddenly rose

,and the sky, which had

long been lowering,assumed an inky hue . M r. Merry

weather looked anxious and uneasy,and I heard him

observe to the captain,that we were in for a north-wester,

and that he feared i t would overtake us before we

reached the anchorage at Kedgeree . What a northwester was I did not exactly know

,b ut the precautionary

measures taken of diminishing th e sail,closing hatches

and scuttles, &c.

,and the appearance of the heavens,

left me no room to doubt that i t was one of the variousdenominations of the hurricane family .

The scene at this moment,to one unacquainted with

these tropical visi tants,though rather alarming , was

singularly wild and magnificent . All around , to theverge of t he horizon, the sky was of the deepest indigohue

,whilst dark masses of rolling clouds, like hostile

squadrons,were slowly marshalling over head to the


derive so much of their intensity from the foi l of o thers’

misfortunes but, alas ! so i t is .Here a fresh supply of fruit , and vegetabl es, and

fish , from the shore a b atch of Calcutta papers ; and sundry other li ttle matters

,made things very pleasant . All

w ere alive and cheerful , and at ten o’

clock I turnedin and rose in the morning like a gi ant refreshed

,

” ful lof agreeable anticip ations of the scenes on which I wasabout to en ter.

CHAPTER VII.

THE morning after our arrival at Kedgeree I arose early,

and , on coming on deck, found the weather perfectly calm ,

and presenting a striking contrast to i ts appearance onth e previous day. A burning Bengal sun , however,shone around in all i ts glory, and was reflected wi thpainful and dazzling brightness from the now unruffledsurface of the Hooghly. Boats, to me of singularlynovel and picturesque forms—some thatched

,o thers

open,and al l with long galley-l ike prows and stem s

—were moving here and there,mingled wi th market

boats,l aden wi th fruit and vegetables, and light and

graceful dingies,or fish ing-c anoes, floating down with

their outspread nets and dusky crews on the gentle nudulations of the falling tide . Near us, ships of variousdescrip tions were ri ding at anch or

,from the stately India

man of those days,with her double tier of por ts

,and

looking like a seventy-four,to the Arab grab and

country-coaster .This was a day of considerable bustle and exci tement.

The passengers were looking up their baggage, gettingout their l etters

,or despatching special messengers to

their friends in Cal cutta . Boats from the presidency werecontinually arriving alongside, freighted principally withbaboos or circars

,good-looking fellows for the most part

,

MEMOIR S O F A GRIFFIN. 63

with huge green or yellow curly-toed shoes, and flewingmuslin-robes

,as ligh t as the gossamer, and white as

swans’-down . Some came to secure consti tuents otherswere depu ted by merchants or parties interested in theship or passengers and not a few keen-witted fellows

,

like my friend Ramee S awmee Dabash, were on the lookout for pigeons . Wi th all these arrivals, our deck b egan to assume a very lively and animated appearance .

I could not help being forcibly struck with the markeddissimilarity b etween th e two races, wh o, here respectivelythe subj ects of a common power, and from the antipodes ,were engaged in obj ects of mutual interest, or busy inthe exchange of friendly greetings . There stood thesturdy Englishman

,w i th hi s ruddy face

,iron muscles

,

and broad shoulders, strong in his straightfo rwardhyperborean honesty before him , like some delicatespaniel , or Italian greyhound , coaxing a bluff old Jowlerof a mastifi

’

, were the wily Asi atics, chattering and sa

laaming, fearful to offend, their slender and supple l imbsal l in motion

,and supplying by quickness and address

the wan t of energy and boldness.The family union, which had now for five months so

pleasantly subsisted between our party on board, was

about to be dissolved, and already were their thoughtsand feelings on the w ing , impatient for other scenes andobj ects. The cup of pleasure i s seldom unalloyed

,and

w i th mine, at that moment , mingled a drop of bitterness,as I though t that an important scene of my life was

about to close for ever, and thatmany of the actors in i t,w i th whom I had so pleasan tly strutted my hour

,

” Imigh t never see again . To think that w e are leavingeven an inanimate obj ect for ever i s a painful thought

,

but i t acquires almost a solemni ty when man,the mind

,

the music, breathing from his face ,’

i s the being w e arenow about to qui t . Honest M cGuffin

,methough t

,have

I heard your broad S cotch for the last time ? Grinnerson , my merry wag , will you roast me no more Gillans

,bluntest of seamen, will thy hoarse voice, inthe mid


nigh t watch,never again startle my ear

,when through the

shrouds (rudest of ZE olians) the rough winds pipe the irwild accompaniment ? And, oh ! Jemmy Ducks, thouPariar of the R o ttenbeam Castle , thou great consery ator of chickens, shall I never again see thee scrambleover the hencoops , or be more enlivened with a pleasan tvision of thy tarred and ragged breeks ? S ic transi t

g lori'

amund z’

As a p arty of us,including the second mate

,were

ch attering and laughing on the deck about noon , ourattention was suddenly attracted to a handsome pinnace,with green sides and venetians

,and of a ligh t and bean

tiful rig, gliding down the river, wi th all sai l loosened,which

,however

,the light winds had b arely power to

distend . As i t approached,we observed an old gentle

man,and a numerous group of attendants on the chut or

roof. M arpeet immediately observed that w e wereabout to be visited by one of the C alcutta big wigs ;and Grinnerson, applying the glass to hi s eye

,ex

claimed,after a little reconnoitring and slapping his leg

with deli ght,

“By the piper th at played before Moses , i f i t i sn

’

tthat old Tartar

,General Capsicum ; he

'

ll keep us allalive if h e comes on board .

The general was seated in an easy chair, smoking amagnificent hooka, the silver chains and other brillian tappendages of whi ch were conspicuous even at a distance .

Altogether, wi th his troop of attendants, he looked not alittle like the chief of Loochoo

,as depicted in Captain

Hall’

s voyage to th at interesting i sl and . O f the liveriedand whiskered group about him

,one swung a huge crim

son silk punkah,or fan , with a silver handle, the end of

which rested on the deck ; a second held an umbrella ofthe same colour over his head two more worked chowries,or whisks, to keep off the flies ; and behind his chairstood his p ipeman

,

'

or hookhab urdar, a black-beardedfellow , with his arms folded , and looking as grave andsolemn as ajudge. At the back of all these again

,and

MEMOIR S or A GRIFFIN. 65

formi ng a sort of rear-guard, were a body of mace-bearersand silver-stick men, awaiting the sligh test order of thechief. Well, this is something like E astern magnificence,indeed

,thought I—m’

l d esperandum Frank Gernon ,hold up your head you may be a nabob yet.Upon the arrival of the pinnace wi thin a very short

distance of the ship , the old gentleman, assisted by hisobsequious attendants, arose from his chair, and movingto the verge of the roof or poop , with a gai t almost asunsteady as the toddle of an infant, gave as a full viewof about as odd a figure as can well be imagined . Inh eigh t, he was below the middle siz e, and as thin andshrivelled as an old baboon , to the physiognomy of whi chanimal hi s own bore no inconsiderable resemblance ; ind eed , till I saw him, I never though t much of LordM onb oddo

’

s theory . He wore a red c amlet raggie, orSwiss j acket, wi th blue collar and facings, which hungin bags about him

,and a white waistcoat

,wide open

,

from which a volume of fri l l protruded . His nether manwas encased in a pair of tight nankeens , buttoned at theancle (a singular perversi ty common to old gentlemenwhose calves have gone to grass ) , and which exhibitedthe extraordinary slenderness of his frai l supporters in avery striking poin t of view . A queue ( the general beingone of the last of the pigtails a round hat of blacksilk, a good deal b attered, with a bullion loop and button,completed the outward appearance of the Bengal veteran ,who soon , however, satisfied us that, spite of appearances,h e was

,as Grinnerson said, a stout-hearted old fellow,

wi th plenty of pluck and mental v igour sti l l about him ;one of whom i t might be said

,that “E

’

en in his ashesglowed their wonted fires.

”

When pretty close , the li ttle old man, from whom asqueaky and faltering treble migh t have been expected,astonished us by shouting out, in a sten tori an voice, andwith a tone and accent smacking strongly of the “

first

gem of the sea,

Is that the R ottenbame Castle, sur E


Being answered in the affirmative, he continued, IsC aptain M cGuffin 011 board, surM cGuffin, who by this time had come to th e side,

replied to this question himself. Taking off his h at,and

waving it, he said,“ Hoo air ye, general ? I

’

m glad to see you, sir, lukingsae weel . Will you come on board , sir

“Hah ! M cGuffin, i s that you ? How are you, mygood sur ? ” returned the general, raising h i s hat, too,with all the digni ty of the old school, or of the guardsman at F ontenoy. Sorry to see you in thi s ugly pickle

,

though . Have you got my Cordali a on board ? allud

ing to his daughter, a widow lady, one of our passengersfrom Madras

,and who

,at this instant, having heard o f

her father’

s arrival, rushed to the side, and kissing oneh and with emp ressement, whilst she waved her handkerchief in the o ther

,soon afforded him satisfactory evidence

of her existence .After some little trouble, the pinnace was safely moored

alongside,and the old general securely

,though with

equal d ifficulty, and a few volleys of abuse to his servants,deposited by instalments on the deck . Here, however,he appeared in some danger of suffocation , from the

vigorous embraces of the buxom young w i dow,who

yi elding to the impulses of natur al feeling, and regardlessof standers-b y, rushed into his arms, and ki ssed himwith the warmest affection, knocking off his hat by thecolli sion

,and exhibiting to our view the general

’

s venerable head

,white with the snows of seventy or eigh ty

winters .Here

,then

,in the shrivelled old soldier standing before

me, I beheld a warrior of the days of O live, a l astrepresentative

,prob ably

,of a generation long gone down

to the dust,whose thoughts

,dress

,and manners so

essentially differed from our own, and who (all honour totheir three-cornered hats and big Waistcoats had b affled

the Indian in the field and the cabinet, and l aid thefoundation of this proud dominion

,on which I was about

68 msmoms or A GRIFFIN .

collar-gill s complacently, and looking extremely large forhi s size , we are certainly a new man , general ; nothinglike a few hogsheads of Cheltenham waters for setting adyspepti c man onhis legs again .

Indeed,then that

’

s true but, Kilbaugh , though youand I have had some rale pli ssant days together in oldtimes—eh —you didn’t trouble the water much thenby Gr and liked your glass as well as any of us,and (with a palp able wink) that same minus the g, toominus the g—eh ? ha, ha, ha!With this

,he made a pass at the ex-resident

’

s ribswith h is extended finger, which the other dexterouslyavoided

,though with a complacent chuckle which shewed

that he was no t displeased at this allusion to h is youthfulfrolics .

“ Well, continued the general, you’

ll put up at myplace, and I

’ll give you a cast in the pinnace . By-the

bye, you l iked a good bottle of beer, Kilbaugh , I re

member right well,and j ust now I can give you one

,a

rale foamer ; got in a splendid b atch lately ; i t i s fromBell

,and by G i t b ears a bell

,too .

S e he rattled on and the ex-residen t having signifiedhis acceptance of the general

’

s offer, the trio, after ahearty leave-taking , were soon on board the pinnace, andon their way to Calcutta .This was the first time I had seen the M ohamedan

domestics of this p art of India,and I was agreeably

struck by their handsome and manly appearance , and thebecoming costume of those in the old general

’

s suite .

Their turbans,vests, loose paj ammas or trowsers, and

kummerbund s or girdles , set off by their crimson beltsand metal b adges, and their massive silver batons, gavethem a very striking and picturesque appearance, en

hanced by luxuriant beards or mustachios, large eyes,and high features .There are some strange anomalies attendant on the

march of civi liz ation,and none more so

,perhaps

,than

the indifference,or rather wan t of real taste

,which na

mnmoms or A GRIFFIN. 69

ti ons in a high state of refinement evince in regard tocostume . Whether i t i s that scientific pursuits, and thebusy occupation s of the thoughts on matters of highsocial, moral , politi cal, and commercial interest, leave notime for men to study the graces of attire

,or that such a

study i s really unworthy of,or incompatible with, cul

tivated minds,or

,as the Quakers think, unfavourable to

moral ity,certain i t i s that the art of decorating the person

does not keep pace with o ther improvements .Our commander (finding he could not leave Kedgeree

till the following morning) , M arpeet, Grundy, and I ,

accepted the obli ging invitation of Capt . Grogwell, ofthe R oh omang/ barque, country trader, a friend of th ecap tain

,to accompany him in his vessel, then under

weigh for Calcutta .“ I can give you a glass of grog

,gentlemen, and a

b itfof curry, and there’s my cabin for you to turn into

if you should stay with me overnight,sai d the frank

and good-humoured sai lor ;“ but

,added h e, there

’

sno time to be lost for those that go, as the tide

’

s alreadyon the turn .

A few bags and boxes were soon stowed in C aptainGrogwell

’

s boat,and after many warm adieus from our

friends on board,and the expression of mutual hopes

that we should meet again in Calcutta, off we pushedfor the R okomany barque .As w e approached her

,two or three bronzed faces,

surmounted by straw hats,rose above the side, and

were directed expectantly towards us, whilst the whistlingpipe of the serang

,or native boatswain, announced the

skipper’

s approach alongside . We mounted through abevy of the sable crew

,and soon stood on the deck of

the coun try ship,j ust arrived from a voyage to the

E astern Islands .“ Welcome on board the R ohomany , gentlemen,

where I hope you will make yourselves at home andcomfortable

,sai d Captain Grogwell. My first

officer, M r. Dobbs, gentlemen, he continued, present

70 ME MOIRS or A GRIFFIN .

ing a tall, brawny, and fine-countenanced man . M r.

Dobbs made his best leg was glad to see us on board .

The lascars now began to weigh the anchor to a wildand not unmusical chant

,wi th an agreeable chorus of

Ya Ullaks ! All was soon bustle, the anchor a-peak,and the mates shouting forth their commands in themost extraordinary lingo that ever grated “ harsh music

”

on my ears .Trinkum Garvey de man

,sai d one ; Garvey brass

trinkum de man,”

roared another whilst M r. Dobbs, ina tremendous fury (why I knew no t ) , and stamping likea madman , sung out Ch0p and string your goosey, andbe d —d to you all .These are a few specimens . O u hearing the last, I

certainly was inclined to think that the death-warranto f one of those cap i tol birds who feed on our commons,and on whom our commons feed ( excuse the doublepun) , had been pronounced . I wish some Ori entalphilologis t would give us a history of this n auti calj argon, which , I take it, i s a sort of olla p od r z

'

da ofPortuguese, Bengalee, and heaven knows what dialectsb esides—th e linguaf ranca of the Indian seas . O uweglided ; passed the

“ silver tree,a singul ar vegetable

production, composed of bri ck and mortar ;“ Diamond

Harbour, another misnomer, but very Golcondahish inthe sound ; and finally, a stiff wind setting in deadahead, found i t impossible to get round a certai n peninsula, sometimes called

“ Hooghly Point,

”

but amongstsailors, rej oicing in the less euphonious appellation of“ Point Luff and be d —d . There was no help for i t,so down wen t the anchor

,and there seemed every

prospect of our having to conj ugate the verb emmyertill a fresh flow of tide and shift of wind should enableus to p ass thi s mos t troublesome part of the river, andthe dangerous shoal of the James and Mary. Thereader must understand that all thi s was before the daysof steam .

Leaving the white tavern of Fultah , where the Cal


outta bon'

vz’

vcmt eats mango-fish—the whitebai t ofIndi a ,—we soon passed Budge Budge, the scene of thesailor

’

s unique exploit—a story too well known, I fancy,to need repeti tion here—and in a short time after, onturning Hangman’s Point (where once stood an outpost of civiliz ation) , found ourselves opposite GardenReach , the sylvan vestibule of Calcutta . I have seenfew sights in my wanderings more beautiful and imposing than the approach to this Petersburgh of theE ast

,this magnificent capi tal of our E astern empire .

O u the left was the Botanical Garden, with its screen oftall dark cypress trees ; on the right, a long successionof beautiful villas, situated amidst verdant lawns andp ark-l ike pleasure-grounds

,sloping gently down to the

water’

s edge . Here the eye was caught by some prettykiosk or summer-house

,l ike the lust-lad as of a Dutch

retreat, or such as we sometimes see in the statelygardens attached to some mansion of the olden timehere at home . There it rested on a ghaut

,or fligh t of

sseps leading to the water, with urns or balustrades,b efore which

,in the mellow ch iar-oscuro of some over

hanging banyan-tree,l ay moored the elegant covered

pleasure-boat of the owner—hurrying through thegrounds, a palankeen would appear, with i ts scamperingb evy of attendan t bearers and running peons

,the huge

red chattah or umbrella to shield the master from the

sun, when making his ex i ts and entrées , bobbing.

upand down— standing before many a por ti coed mansi on,gigs, or other equipages would appear inwait ing, to takethe Sahibs to town

,or on their rounds of morning v i si ts,

and mi ngling in pleasing contrast with the Europeani zedcharacter of these beautiful domai ns

,th e lofty palm or

kujjoor would here and there raise i ts head , the perchof a knot of solemn vultures or parting the groundsone from ano ther, lofty fences of the graceful and pensile b amboo

,might be seen drooping in rich clusters,

l ik e plumes of ostrich feathers . Numerous boats glidedup and down the river

, w i th here and there a vessel like


our own,obeying the whirling impulses of the tide, and

rapidly approaching i ts destination—all,in fact

,bespoke

the close vicinity of a great capi tal .The reach nearly p ast , th e proud ci tadel of Fort

William broke in view, i ts grinning b atteries openingupon us, one after the o ther, and affording a lively ideaof the sort of gauntlet wh i ch an enemy migh t reasonablyexpec t, should one sufficiently hardy ever dare to confront them . Here and there on the long-extendedrampart

,the sentry walked hi s lonely round , h is

musket and bayonet gleaming b rightly in the noonti derays

,whilst crowds of natives

,passing palankeens, and

stately adj utant birds stalking i n grey attire on thebanks

,gave life and animation to the scene—a few

minutes more,and a long forest of shipping, with masses

and lines of stately mansions reposing under the sti l lcalm sky, like some Grecian capital of old, bespoke theCi ty of Palaces

,the proud metropolis of Briti sh India .

Here was a sigh t at which a Bri ton might honestlyexult, and, young as I was, I gazed with pride on thi smagnificent creation of my country

’s civiliz ation andpower—the point from which she governs the countlessmillions of the dependent Empire which Providence

,for

the wisest of purposes, has submitted to her benignan tsway . O ld England ! migh ty heart ! long may thyvigorous pulsations be thus felt to the utmost bounds ofour earth ! N ati ons

,l ike individuals

,have their stages

of existence—their infancy, their manhood, and theirdecl ine ; some fall into premature decrep itude and dissolu ti on

,and leave but the memory of evi l deeds behind

them ; whilst others sink in glorious maturi ty, under theweight of years and honours, leaving the fruits of a wellspen t life behind them ,

to be embalmed for ever i n thehear ts o f a grateful posteri ty . May such be thy lot, 0my country


alls,or bullocks, bearing huge skins of the same pure

element ; palankeen—bearers, gabbling ( to me ) unintelligible abuse

,in eager competion, pushing into the very river,

and banging their portable boxes one against the other i ntheir struggle to secure fares amongst the frequent arrivalsfrom the shipping ; baboos , parroquet-venders, chattahbearers, sailors, lascars, and adj utant-birds—Europe andAsi a commingled in heterogeneous but pleasant confusion .

I had scarcely attained the top of the Ghaut, or flightof steps, where I waited til l my b aggage was brought upand coolies were ob tained to transport i t, than I foundmyself besieged by a bevy of fellows, mentioned before asb aboos, or sircars, and who, though of a distinct species ,I saw at once belonged to the same genus as my friendRamee S awmee Dabash .

Good marning, S ar, said one (it was near sunset) ,ostentatiously displaying his first chop English , approaching with an easy bend , and pressing his right p alm somewhat gracefully to his foreh ead Master

,I perceive

,i s

recintly arrive at Bengal pris’

d ency9

That’

s pretty clear,

”

said I but can you di rect meto the Custom-house

,and after that to some good ho tel

or tavernOh, sartainly, S ar ; every thing master require than

I can do ; med itly box come up, I d i sperse off withcoolie .

Gentilman, said another, in a milder key, yourequire

’

spectab le sircar ; I go t highest tistimonial ofch aracter ; you p lease read this , S ar ; this from Gin

’

nelWilkisseen S ahib , thi s Wakeel I shtivil S ahib and so heran on, murdering several other English names and titles1n success1on.

A third,a wizened ol d fellow ,

with a p air of spec taclesperched at the end of his nose

,proffered his servi ces some

what in the same way ; but I told them not to troublethemselves or me , as I h ad determined on honouring wi thmy commands the first who had presented himself to mynotice . My new emp loyé, who rej oiced in the pleasant

msmoms or A GRIFFIN. 75

cognomen of O hattermohunGhose, new again put in hi soar :

“ Master’s n ame,I think

,will b e M r. Gernon -the

rascal had read i t on my box, same gentleman as wasexpect by R ottenbeam-i -castle ?

Yes,i t i s indeed

,said I , astonished to find myself

known ; but how the devi l came you acquainted wi th i t ?Oh

,he replied

,we always ver well know whin

mi li tary gentilmen are expected at pris’

dency from shipbeside—I not know, but I think, master will have somerelation this country—face all same—one gentleman Iknow

,only more young —leetle more handsome .

I interposed with S tuff none of your blarney but,perhaps

,you mean

,my uncle

,Colonel Gernon, rather

pleased to meet so soon after l and ing with one evenamongst the natives who had prob ably known a relativeyoung people hear so much of their uncles and grandfathers , &c. ,

at home,that they enter l ife with an idea

that all the world must know something about them .

“What exclaimed Chattermohun who was athorough Don Raph ael in his way,

— and wi th well-dissembled pleasure

,

“ What Connel Gernon Sahib masteruncle ? I think that all same time . Connel very goodgentilman, my bist of frind—always he impeloy me whenhe come C alcutta . O onnel command Europan rig

’

ment,I think, at Danapoor

Oh, no, I rej oined ; you mistake ; my uncle hasbeen some time dead

,and I think was never in a European

regiment .That I know , S ar, ver well, continued Chattermohun

briskly, and not at all disconcerted ;“ but when live, I mean,

belong native rig’

ment (I make small obliterationbefore)that some time was that place .”

Yes, yes he was in the native infantry, certainly,said I ; but where stationed is more than I can tell .And so you really knew my uncle, did you, eh ? Andthink me like him ? Perhaps

,too , you have heard of

another relation of mine here in Indi a—M r. Duggins


What M r. Duggin , what was civil servi ce ?No

,no

,

” I answered ; here in the law, in Caloutta .

”

Oh ! what master mean M r. Duggin’

sliciter ? Yes,sar

,I know him ver well ; b e greatly respect-i-me

that time he was live .Why, I trust he

’

s no t dead ? I exclaimed, in astonishment : he was well at Bombay the last accounts wehad of him .

No,Sar, not dead masternotunderistand ; I mean

that time was l ive here , Chowrunghee.

Though rather green and gui leless in those days, asmaybe inferred from the foregoing example, and unwilling,unless on something stronger than mere p r imc?facieevidence, to imagine decep tion yet I began to suspectthat the rascal was humbugging me for a purpose, and wasabout to let him know as much , in rather strong terms ,when h e adroitly changed the key .

“Master will be in ’til lery, I thinkN0, sai d I impatiently infantry

,infantry ; but

don’

t bother, and us b e off.”

“ Al l same,”

he continued,determined to h ave his

talk out master will require plenty thing , all which Ican supply—b ist of quali ty—if require too good-i-sarvan t will you take this man —plenty character hegot .S o saying, he presen ted to my no ti ce a queer, raffish

looking fellow, w i th a bush of hair and a black beard ,and dressed in quite a different style of costume to that ofthe others . This worthy—aMussulman khidmutgar orfootman—made his salaam , and thrust into my hand twoor three well-soiled certificates, which stated that Ramj ahn Khan (any . R umjohnny, ) had served the wri ters( captain thi s and lieutenant that) with zeal and fidelity,and to their perfec t satisfaction . O f the se characters ,

”

by the way,all domesti cs have a stock

, or, i f not, they b orrow or hire them (being as accommodating one to anotherin that way, as was the Irish priest who, as related by


the pleasant author of Wi ld S ports of the West, on apinch

,and to save appearances

,gave his friend , the Pro

testant curate of Connemara,the loan ofhi s congregation) ,

w i th sufficient information touching the subscribers toallow of some slight questioning, though by no meansof an adroi t cross-examination—a thing at this time

,

however, in the native language, quite beyond my powers ,alb ei t I h ad puzzled my brains a little on ship-boardwith a certain celebrated philologist

’

s orthoepigraph ico

pseud olatitudio-logi cal works, and could patter a few

sen tences of Hindostanee in the “ M yn nakeen kilat’

lzoon” style

,in a way really to astonish the natives .”

To cut the matter short, however, I hired R umjohnnyon the strength of h is testimonials and having now gotmy baggage all up, moved off with him and Chattermohun Ghose to the Custom-house . Having arrangedmatters there, I proceeded through the thronged streetsof Calcutta to a tavern or punch-house, somewhere inthe ari stocratic region of R anamoody Gully a sort ofplace of entertainment whi ch

,in those days (though,

from their improved character the case is now, I understand

,different) , i t was considered quite infra d ig . in a

gentleman to visit . However, being a grifi"

, I knewnothing of this

,and if the case had been otherwi se, I

should have been without an alternative . Dirty tablecloths , well spotted wi th kai l and mustard ; prawn curries, capital beef-steaks, domestic s of the cut of Rumj ohnny, a ri ckety, rusty, torn billiard-table, on which ,day and night

,the balls were going, lots of slu

'

pp z'

es,and

a dingy bed,were the leading features of this establish

ment,not forgetting clouds of voracious and well-fleshed

musquitoes, to which those of Madras were a mere j oke .I shall not inflict on the reader a dry detail of the

o ccurrences of the nex t three days ; let i t suffice to state,that at the end of that period, having duly reported myarrival , &c.

, I found myself in possession of an advance of150sicca rupees,sterling money of Bengal, four bare wallsand a puckah floor in the south b arracks of FortWilli am,


and about to fit up the same in the first style of griflini shfashion , under the abl e direction o f Chattermohun Ghose .The south barracks i s one of several ranges wi thin the

Fort,and allotted principally to the accommodation of un

marri ed subs . Like the Burlington Arcade,i t has a long

p assage down the centre, into which the doors of theseveral quarters open ; but here the resemblance ceas es .Here I had a practic al i llustration of the il l-working of

the social system, the living in a speci es of communityunder the present discordant and defective state of ourfeelings and habits . The passage was sounding andreverberating, and each occupant of a quarter had muchof the b enefit of his neighbour

’

s flute,fiddle, or French

horn , whether“ i

’

the vein”

for harmony or not shoebrushings, occasional yells of servan ts tundergoing thedi scipline of fist or cane, j olly ensigns and cadets clattering up and down

,cracking horsewhips

,whistling th e

“Flamen-lzead ed Cow -boy or “

Beg one Dull Care,th e arrival of files of coolies laden with purch ases fromthe China Bazaar or Tulloch

’

s Auction Room,pleasantly

varied by interminable wranglings on the part of master’

ssirdar or bursar

,touching payments and dustoor ie, or

custom ; payees urging pleas in deprecation of abatement

,sirdar overruling the samefl constituted a few of

the d ésagrémens of a south-barrack life . The opticaldepartment was not less varied and novel ; but i t could beshut out at pleasure

,an advantage not predicable of the

former.The aspect of the p assage varie d with the hour ; he

wh o s trolled down i t, about the hour of d awn , or a li ttl eafter

,might c atch glimpses , through half-opened doors,

of all stages of the toilet, from soap-suds and dressinggowns, to what painters term the

“ultima6413511

” or finishing touches ; possibly, too, he might have a peep at theensign’s lady

,

“ the sold i er’s bride

,d ivested of all the

romance with whi ch song-composers and novelists arewont to invest her ; h air emp ap illottes, sleeves tuckedup, and washing Augustus or Tommy . At ten, the


scene was changed ; wi thout the doors, on the ground,migh t be seen a goodly display of trays

,with egg-shells

,

fish -bones, ri ce, muffin, and other wrecks of breakfast ;sweepers—certain degraded menials

,

“ al l same caste asmaster, —squatting near and wai ting for the saidremnants ; hookhas or kulians in course of preparationfor those who indulged in the luxury of smoking andh ere and there , perhaps, a sergeant, havildar, or strappinggrenadier sepoy, waiting for the summons from within togive his morning

’

s report —noon and evening, tiffin and

dinner,each brought i ts appropri ate proceedings

,and

varied the aspec t of th e common passage,which wil l

long,with the force of a first impression, remain strongly

engraven on my memory .

O f late years, with the view of protecting youngofficers on their arrival

,f1om those imposi ti ons

,scrapes

,

and emb arrassments, to which , owing to their youth andinexperi ence, they were formerly exposed, the Government has considerately created an appointment

,called

th e “ superintenden t of cadets,—a measure wel l cal

culated to mitigate the evil .The system of sending youths to Indi a at the early

ages of fifteen or sixteen, appears to me to be onefraught with ev il, against which i ts advantages weighbut as dust in the balance. A t that early age

,the

character and principles are generally qui te unformed,and, intoxicated on becoming uncontrolled master ofhimself, emancipated from the thraldom of home orschool, the cadet l aunches or di d launch (unless, in thisgo

-a-head age, things have greatly altered ) into idleness, dissipation , and frivoli ty, feeling through life (ifnot cut off in h is prime) the effects of habits and follieswhich , under all circumstances , and knowing youth

’splasti c nature, i t was not probable he would avoid .

Often the finest natures are the first to fall victims tothe absence of salutary restraint, or they plough theirway to wisdom through bitter experience

,find ing that

gem above pri ce”

when i t i s probably too late to be of


use to them . The w11dnesses and consequent escapad esof such boys h ave tended to lower the Europeancharacter very considerably in the estimation of thenatives ; and the sepoys , and above all , the veteran nativeo fficers, must, and I um convinced do, feel strongly theirbeing subj ected to the control and capri ce of suchstriplings . It i s

,perhaps, an unavoidable consequence

of our anomalous rule in India, th at the native shouldin no case b e allowed to command the European ; but,wherever possible

,we should at least avoid placing hoary

age and madcap inexperi ence in such a degrad ing jux taposition . I have known such youths ( truth obliges me

to include myself amongst the number) order about, andnot unfrequently use harsh and unbecoming languageto venerable native officers, whose silver beards, andbreasts covered wi th medals , spoke of many a campaign ,and services rendered to the state, before p robably eventhe strip ling

’

s sire was in ex istence . As the empire ofopinion—the awe which our superi or energy and scienceh ave inspired—dies away, and even now i t i s on thewane—i t will b e well to have a store of affection onwhich to fall back—ah anchorage in the hearts of thepeople of India, when our power over their prej udices hasrelaxed i ts bold .

Chattermohun Ghose, h aving, as a preliminary proceeding, given me a list of things which I must haveBengal ind i spensables— and h aving been duly authorizedto procure the same, he very soon made his appearancewith about a dozen and a half of coolies or porters

,

bearing, amongst o ther arti cles, a camp-table, a canebottom sleeping-cot , a setr z

’

ng z’

e, or cotton carpet, aboutone-third the siz e of my room , two chairs , some Chinesech inaware

,and copper cooking-utensils

,and a huge

b asin, something of the shape of M amb rino’

s helmet, onan iron tripod stand

,which i t puzzled me sorely to guess

the use of.What do you call this, Chattermohun sai d I i s

i t a chafing-dish, or what


thou closed the even tenor of thy way ; thy quiet,

inglorious , though useful o ccupation and added thyh andful of soda and potash to the ever-changing bosomof old moth er-earth !After having establi shed myself pretty comfortably in

the south b arracks, I despatched my letters of introduction to the several p arti e s to whom they were addressed ;amongst the number was one to General Capsicum . A

few were from weigh ty and influential persons at home,and all had thumping b ig seals, and favoured by M r .

Cadet Gernon written in the corners . I used to reckonthem up about once a week on ship-board, as a miser countshi s treasures speculating on their contents

,and build

ing claateaux eu E spagne touching the pleasant resultswhich would

,I imagined

,doubtless follow their delivery .

This, thought I , constructing my airy fabric after themanner of Alnaschar, and gaz ing complacently on mychem ! d e bataille, my great gun

,furnished by a

certain member of the peerage,this will inevitably bring

an aide-de-camp,post-haste

,to invi te me to the Govern

men t-house . I shall be placed on the staff,wear a

cooked hat and aiguilettes,carve the hams and turkeys,

laugh at the Govenor-general’

s j okes,carry the Governor

general’s lady’

s prayer-book—l ive in clover, loved andrespected, the pe t and confidential friend of the family :a capital appointment will follow in due course wealth ,honour, will pour upon me ; and, to crown my felici ty,some high-born damsel wi ll eventually become Mrs .Gernon ! Ye gods ! what a career of prosperity did Ipicture

,as I contemplated that massive letter with i ts

coronetted seal and crest (anominous griffin) all prep er .

Heigho ! Four dinners,three breakfasts, and a tifiin

,

were all I gained by the whole batch of introductions ;and as for the Governor-general

,I grieve to say, that I

found him lamentably deficient in that penetration andpower of just appreciation of character for which I hadgiven h im credit .I was sitting inmy barrack-rooms next morning after


breakfast, amusing myself by pitching bones and crustsout of the window to a bevy of adj utant-birds below ,

opening their j aws expectingly,or clattering their huge

beaks whilst contending for a bone,with the sound of

marrow-bones and cleavers,when the door opened, and,

to my agreeable surprise,in walked Captain M arpeet,

his face radiant with smiles . A cordial greeting followedfor

,though coarse and illiterate for a man in his station,

M arpeet wasawarm-hearted

,blun t

,and generous fellow ,

and I had a sincere regard for him . Being an “ oldh and

,h e assumed the Mentor towards Grundy and

me,to which othee

,as i t was not often offensively ohtra

ded,I qui etly submitted, with preper griffinish humili ty.

“ Well !” said b e, looking up and down and round

about , so here you are, all snug and tight, regularlyboxed up in this noisy hole

“Any thing by way of exchange, I replied,

“ afterfive months on ship-board but to tell you the truth

,i t

has its merits, and I rather like i t on other grounds .Here

, you see, I am, with all my comforts about me,pointing rather ostentatiously to my two chairs, co t, andcamp-table

,and to my brazen chillumchee, i n radiant

brightness standing in the corner, and from these, myhead-quarters

,I mean to sally out ever and anon, to

mingle a li ttle in the gay world of Calcutta,before I

start for the Upper Provinces .”“Well, said M arpeet, laughing ; I see

,

‘ for athat you have a pretty good notion of things in general

,

and I don’

t care i i' I j oin you in a spree or two before Ileave ; You griffs require an old hand

’

to look after you,

or you will be alway s doing some soft thing or another .But have you been playing a knife and fork anywhereyet .

9 been to any grand ‘ feed’

since you arrivedDinners and parti es

,eh No, not as yet ; but

there 1s abundance of time for that, for i t was only yesterday that I fired off a grand salvo of letters, whichw ill doubtless , in due time, bring invitati ons as thickas leaves on Vallombrosa .

”

84 MEMOIR S O F A GRIFFIN .

Leaves oni pshaw ! can’

t you say black-berries atonce I wish, Gernon, you were not so confoundedlypoeti cal ; I hate poetry mortally ; i t i s grifiinish ; giveme matters of fact, something I can understand . Dundas ,or a number of the Sp or ting M agaz z

'

ne,or the like .

There’

s no help for i t, s aid I i t’

s my nature,and

nature we may modify, but cannot radically changePhilosophizing ; that

’

s worse still . But,j oking

apart, don’

t be too sure of the invitations,or you may

reckon without your host . I'

m an ‘ old hand’

(M arpeet’

s

everlasting boast) , and have seen a li ttl e of Calcutta inmy time, and I know, whatever the folks once were, theyare now becoming most infernally pucka ( stingy) , andwill soon, I verily believe , he as b ad as they are inEngland

,where a leg o

’

mutton goes through the nineteen manoeuvres before i t i s dismissed, and a man thinkshe confers an everlasting obligation if he asks you tod inner.

“Ha, ha, ha! you old spleneti c Quz’

E ye, I exclaimed

,you are too h ard on us ‘ Englishers ;

’

youdon’t consider the d ifierence of circumstances , and that,where month s are many and legs o

’

mutton few, w e mustresort to expedients to square supply and demand .

But,resumed the rough-spun captain, now let me

fulfil the principal obj ect of my vi si t, which i s to congratulate you .

”

For what ? I asked .

What ? why are you so ignorant, so out of theworld, as not to know that you are promoted ?Promoted l

”

exclaimed I ; why Grinnerson said Ishould be in luck if I got my commission in five years .The captain put a Gaz ette into my hand, doubled i t

up in a compact form , and, striking a parti cular portioncon sp ir i to wi th his forefinger, Read that

,

”

said he.

I took i t in a sort of ecstacy, caugh t a glimpse of myown name. Yes—there I was, actually in print :

“M r.

Gernon,appointed by the Honourable Court of Direc

tors a cadet on this establi shment, having reported his


days) , to attend a dance to-morrow ; they have a ballthere once a fortnigh t (I beli eve ) , to show off the girls

,

and give them an opportunity of getting spliced.

That’

s a new feature of schools ; in England, if Iremember rightly, the efforts of the mistresses tend al ltheEother way—to keep the girl s from getting marri ed .

“ That, said M arpeet,” would never do in India

,

where women are thinking of getting buried about theage at whi ch they talk of being married in lat. 50

°

N

Yes,this i s the place for the man who wants a w i fe, and

wishes to b e met half-way,detesting, like me, the toil

of wooing . There he can go, and i f h e sees a girl helikes , good fore-hand, clean about the fetlock-j oints,free in her paces, sound and quiet, and not too long inth e tooth

,i f not bespoke

,he

’

ll not find much d ifficultyi n getting her. But i f you and Grundy will go , I

’

ll

ge t you smuggled 1n somehow or o ther, and will call foryou in proper time to morrow.

“ Thank you,said I ;

“ never fear for me , for I’

m

all anxiety to see these young ladies of the equestri anorder, whom you so pleasantly describe . Besides, oldS tultz

,here in th e corner

,has j ust finish ed my red coat,

and I am all anxiety to sport i t for the first time .“ Well

,good-bye

,lads

,said the captain ;

“ I’

m off

to Tulloh’

s auction,to see i f I can

’

t pick up a cheapbuggy

,and a few other things I want .

S o saying, he disappeared, leaving Grundy and me toruminate on the foregoing matters .

Grundy,said I

,after apause, you must really get a

red coat,sword

,and sash

,and make yourself look like a

Christi an, i f you go to this b all to-morrow night ; excusemy giving you a hint .

“I

’

m afraid there’s not time for i t, said Grundy,and I have nothing of th e sort as yet.“Well, leave i t ( to me ; Chattermohun i s a sharp

fellow,at a p inch ; and I

’

l l engage,with his assistance,

to rig you out for the eveni ng.

”

msmoms O F A GRIFFIN . 87

CHAPTER IX .

CAPTAI N M AR PE E T made hi s appearance at the hourappointed on the following evening, and off we startedfor the Kidderpore school, which, by the way, i s, or was,a rather large and imposing structure, at some d istancefrom Calcutta ; mussalchees, or link boys, with blazingfiamb eaux , scampering a-head in good, tip-top style .Having passed the bazaar

,we turned sharply from the

main road, into a pretty extensive compound o r domain,and soon found ourselves before the portico of theschool, amongst buggies, palankeens, and other conveyanoes appertaining to visi tors who had preceded us.

Leaving our palankeens,we entered the house, passed

through several rooms,one of them devoted to refresh

ments, and p artly filled with gay Lotharios , some fewmilitary, the rest belonging to the orders shippy and

and finally entered the ball-room . Thi s wefound thronged with dancers

,in a blaze of light, and

resounding to the merry notes of a band, which , thoughnot exactly equal to Weippert

’

s, seemed, nevertheless,as a locomotive s timulus

,to be quite as effective . The

country-dance then flourish ed in i ts green old age, and thecouples at the Kidderpore hep were flying about in greatstyle—poussette

,hands across

,down the middle , and

back again—evincing,in spite of the temperature, all

that laudable perseverance so essenti al to the accomplishment of such laborious undertakings.M arpeet, at my particular request, and to keep us in

countenance, w ere his uniform ,though he had previously

decl ared ( considering the season ) that i t was a most

griffinish proceeding to sport broadcloth, and decidedlyagainst his conscience . You griffs

,however

,said he

Crannies—Portuguese and country-bornclerks in offices,and fillers

of subordinate Government employments, 810.


will have your way, and we must humour you sometimes . As for myself, in my scarlet raggie, brimstonefacings, black waist-belt, and regulation sword , in myown Opini on I looked quite the god of war, and wasfully armed for execution .

What an era in the life of a soldier i s his first appearance in regimentals

,

“ his blushing honours thick abouthim how he then p ants for love and glory the tentedfield and th e clash of arms At forty or fifty, possibly, i fof a thoughtful vein

,hi s sw ord converted to a hoe or

pen, a mighty change comes o'

er him, and he thinks,perhaps , that he might have done better had he stuck toa black or a blue one . Sometimes, i t i s true, whenwarmed wi th a flicker of h is youthful fire, like Job

’swar-horse

,he loves to snuff the battle from afar, and

sai th to the trumpets,ha ! ha But

,mainly

,war

delights him no more,for he sees the wide spread evils

which lurk under i ts exciting pomp and meretriciousgli tter

,and his heart and mind yearn towards those

more ennobling pursuits and occupations, which tend toelevate his species

,t o give to the intellectual and moral

their due ascendency,and which speak of peace and

good-will to man .

"

The dancers being in motion, we did no t advance, butcontented ourselves with occupying a posi tion by thedoor

,and leisurely surveying the scene . At one end of

the apartment,on chairs and benches, sat certain elderly

matrons,amongst whom were the superiors of the estab

lishment, looking complacently at the young folks, andcalcul ating in all probabili ty the amount of executionlikely to resul t from the evening

’

s amusements .The y oung ladies, however, whose sylph-like forms

were gliding through the mazes of the dance, were the“ orient pearls at random strung,

”

which principallyattracted my attention . As the flush of a summer

’

snoon fades by insensible degrees into the ebon shades ofnight

,so did the complexions of these ch arming damsels

graduate from whi te to black . Youth, however, smiling,


the vows,and the vigils differed widely from those which

pale-eyed virgins keep in the gloomy seclusion of theconvent .Would you like to dance, sir ? sai d the lady

,

addressing herself to Captain M arpeet.No

,I thank you, ma

’

am ,

”

sai d my blunt companion ;I am a li ttle too stifi

'

in the j oin ts,and my dancing

days are all over.The fact was

,that M arpeet had passed five consecutive

years of his life in the jungles, where, as i t frequentlyhappens in India , he had acquired what, for want of abetter term, I will call a gynop laob z

'

a, or woman-horror,whi ch the occasional appearance of a spinster in thosedeserts wild rather tended to confirm than allay. A shortresidence in England had

,i t i s true

,in some degree,

moderated this dread of the respectable porti on of thesofter sex bu t still much of it remained, and he shunnedwith morbid aversion all si tuations imposing the p ainfulnecessi ty of whispering soft no things and “ doing theagreeable with the ladies . The good dame of theschool smiled expressively on receiving Captain M arpeet

’

s

answer ; i t was a smile which said, as plain as smilecould speak , You are an odd fish, I see, and one on

whom pressing would be quite thrown away.

Perhaps,

”

said she, turning to me, you will allowme to introduce you to a partner

,and if so, I shall have

great pleasure in presenting you to one of our youngl adiesI had none of M arpeet

’

s scruples, expressed my acknowledgments, accepted her offer, and was led full clankacross the b all-room

,and presented in due form to Miss

Rosa M ussaleh , as an aspiran t for her fair hand in theensuing dance. Mis s Rosa M ussaleh was a fine b ouncing girl of eighteen

,stil l in high blow from the effects of

her recent exertions. Form unexceptionable : complexion rather tending to a deli cate saffron, b e-speakingplainly her Asiati c maternity.

If not engaged,Miss Rosa

,said the school-mistress

,


presenting me, “ Ensign Gernon (I had previouslycommunicated my name and m nlc

,though there was not

much danger of mistaking me for a maj or-general ) willbe happy to dance wi th you .

”

“ I shall be ver happie I am not engaged, sai d Mi ssRosa, in a singular variety of the Anglo-S axon tonguecalled the Cheechee language (Hindustanee idi omEngli shed) , then new to me—a dialec t which consti tutesa di stingui shing mark of those born and bred in India,and the leading peculiari ty of which consists in l aying afalse emphasis

,parti cularly on such small words as to ,

me, and , &c. The lady of the establishment having

performed her d evo z’

r , as mistress of the ceremoni es,made a courteous inclination, and withdrew, leaving usto ourselves.As a rather precocious j uvenile

,I had danced with some

of the fair and well-born damsels of my own land atBath , Clifton, and elsewhere, and was, therefore, not tobe daunted with the mahogany charms of Miss R . M . ;

so,sans ce

’

rémom’

e,I dashed into conversation .

You have a great many charming young ladies here,said I .

Oh, yes, sai d my partner, great manie but theyare not all here t/ze l i ttle girl s are gone to bed . Doyou then admire our young ladie ?This was rather a pointed question ; but I replied with

out hesitation,

“ Oh,excessively ; there appear to be

some lovely creatures amongst them,and (giving a flourish )

with charms enough to move the soul of an anchori te .”

Oh,”

sai d Mi ss Rosa,with a smile and downward

look, wishing to be complimentary , I think dey aremore fond of the military .

I was on the point of emitting that expressive note ofastonishment—w hew but checked myself.I think , sai d I , you rather mistook me

,though I

can hardly regret that which has been the c ause of soflattering an admission

,but I alluded to an asceti c .

Asiati c ! said the young lady, with some hauteur,


and a toss of the head, no native come to these ball,I

assure you .

I could not suppress an emphati c humph !The fiddles now began again I presented my arm

,

divested myself,though with reluctance

,of my trusty

Solingen blade , and took my place in the set . A tremendons long set i t was, and after slaving for half anhour, I found myself at the head of it . Grundy

,with a

face like that of the Marquess of Granby on a sign-post ,standing next to me, and streaming like the apotheosis ofa river god .

“ Well,h ow do you get on, Grundy ? said I .

Oh,i t

'

s cruel h ot work,”

said h e,with a sigh, which

was perfectly heart-rending .

“ Hot, indeed , I rej oined, giving sigh for sigh ; theydon

’

t c atch me dancing again in a red coat.”

If working up the dance was fatiguing,the going down

i t was still more se . My partner,a prac tised hand,

skipped about without the smallest si gns of fatigue,whilst I , reeking from every pore, was dragged up anddown and whirled round and about till my head spun,and I thought I should have veri ly gone into a fit

,or

sunk from sheer exhaustion on the floor. I did,how

ever, contrive to hold out til l we finish ed the dance, fiveand-twenty couples at least , when , with a staggeringhow

,I tendered my arm and led my partner to her seat.Are you fond of dancing said she

,with the coolest

assurance .A li ttl e of it, said I , with a sigh , when in practice,

the set not too long,and the weather no t too hot .

A gentleman,chained

,ringed

,and b e-broached, stout

and bronzed,now came up, and engaged my partner for

the nex t dance,chatted for some time w i th the air of an

old acquaintance,gave a “ bye-bye sort of a nod, and

passed on.

Do you know Captain Trinkum ?No, said I ; what does he belong toTo the R ustomiee Bomanj ee, said she .

94 MEMOIRS 011 A GRIFFIN.

wiches or brewing negus, lounging, and clanking theirswords . Native servants belonging to the visitors or theestabli shmen t were bustli ng about, and mak ing themselvesuseful ; whilst here and there, in a corner, and avai lingherself of the soli tude of a crowd, a young lady mightb e seen , her back against the wall, li stlessly sipping hernegus

,or balancing a spoon over a j elly-glass

,and li sten

ing,with downward look and in mute entrancemen t

,

to some handsome mili taire, whilst he was pouring intoh er attentive ear the l eprous distilment of honied words .Recruited and refreshed, we returned to th e ball-room,

and in sp ite of my recent resolution, I again j oined thedance

,wh i ch was kep t up ti l l a late hour

,when my friend s

and I returned to my room in the fort,where

,fairly d one

up,I betook myself to rest, the fiddles still sounding in my

head,to dream of Mi ss Rosa, and all I had seen and

heard and so terminated my first ball in the E ast.The Kidderpore heps, I hear, are now no more from

which I conclude that some o ther matrimonial plan hasbeen devi sed for disposing of the young ladies , more inconsonance with th e refined del i cacy of the age, which ,though recognizing the necessity of matrimony

,seems to

discountenance any expedi en t which smacks of the slavemarket .O n the following evening, Captain M arpeet, according

to engagemen t,calle d in a hi red buggy, to take me a drive

on the Course . The Course, as i s well known, i s thegrand resor t of the bean mond e of C alcutta, whi ch ,l ike a colony of owls or b ats from a ruin

,emerge at sun

down from all parts of that extensive city,to see and to

b e seen,and to enj oy the coolness of the evening breez e .

S eated in hi s gig , M arpeet drew up'

before the barrackin all his glory

,handling the ribbons with the peculi ar

and finished grace of a man who had made it his study .

Great,indeed

,were hi s pretensions in that way, and I am

confident he would rather have been the leader of thefour-in-hand club

,than have wri tten the Pr incg

'

pz'

a ofNewton .


In I j umped ; M arpeet cracked his whip to mettl e uphis ticca>l< tit—an animal deficient in flesh and blood

,

certainly,but exhibiting an amazing deal of bone . Away

we went. The evening gun had just boomed the myri adcrows of the Fort cawed querulously responsive from thetrees ; the bugles sounded ; the drums beat ; the guardsat th e gates

,European and native, were turned out cap

tains and lieutenants, flushed with tiflin or a nap, swordsunder their arms, sauntered along to j oin them . The firefly here and there tw inkled in the trees, and the far-off

yell of the jackall procl aimed the approach of night, whenaway we whirled through covered ways and over thundering drawbridges, past scarp , counter-scarp, and glacis, andin a few minutes found ourselves amidst the throng ofcarriages and equestri ans on the Course, the mass of theGovernment-house

,with i ts capacious dome and lion

crowned gates,ri sing in front , and the vast semicircle of

Chow ringhee, with i ts aggregation of snow-white struc

tures,stretching away far to the right .

What a singular scene here presented i tself to my admiring sight ! What an admixture of nations

,and their

several modes and peculiari ties—of English turn outs andIndian piebald imitations—wi th strange equipages

,com

bo

ining European finish with the native ori ginal ! Car

riages and equestri ans, walking, trotting, or galloping,passing and repassing !This 18 the Hyde Park of the E ast, where , though less

of splendour than in i ts great prototype, there was farmore variety to be seen . There came the GovernorGeneral

,the Viceroy of Bri ti sh India, open barouche and

four (all dignity and gracious bows) cocked hats andfeathers flying ; black body-guard before and behind , ina long trot ; sabres flashing, and scabbards r attli ng .

Near, by way of anti thesis,migh t be seen a p alankeen carriage

“ creepy crawley, drawn by two enormous bullocks ,with monstrous dewlaps, bearing some fat old Portugueselady, black as E rebus or N ox , to take the air, driver working

Ticca,’

1 .e. hired.


hard to rouse them to a transien t hobble . There,four

or five abreast , rode sundry dashing young officers, displaying themselves and their uniforms to the best advantage

,

“ pride in their port, defiance in their eyes whilstnear

,in some open landau or barouche, the “ cynosure

of neighbouring eyes, w ould appear the newly-arrivedbeauty

,the belle of the season, her English roses con

trasting with the reigningpuller around, wearing a lookof conscious power, and exhibiting herself to the ad ~

miring gaze of the gossiping world . Happy creature !all is couleur d e rose with you ! N o though ts of thefuture disturb the self-satisfied emotions of thy exultingbosom ! And who i s h e beside her—the handsome youngaide-de-camp Wi th easy bend he leans gracefully towards the carriage, and checks his h ery Arab . Markhow he rattles

,and says his agreeable things

,with al l

the airs of a conscious “ eligib le,whilst the gratified

vanity of the woman sparkles in her eyes and glows inher animated countenance. Here comes an intruder,bound for a distant bazaar— j ingle

, 31ngle, j ingle ! Whata contrast ! a native ruth or b ylie, bullocks in a longtrot

,a pretty black damsel

,

With rings onher fingers,And bells onher toes

she of Chi ldhood’

s song to a nicety—peeping from b e

b ind th e blinds . “ Ah ! turn not away those swee teyes ! Egad, she

’

s off—driver twi sting the tails andgoading the quar ters of his cattle to keep up thesteam .

”

There whirl past in tilbury or tandem a braceof recently-arrived wri ters, regular Meltoni ans, doing thething secundum ar tem,

and determined to astonish thecrowd . How knowingly, h is person obliqued-quarterfront, does the driver si t With what gentlemanly aband on does the drivee loll b ack in the vehicle These arehigh-spirited fellows , who drink their claret, and havenever known a care

,and “ d —n every thing th at i s

low !”


Come,tell it, and burn ye

He is -canhe help it —aspecial attorney

anattach é of the Supreme Cour t.Such, then , i s the Course of Calcutta ; and such a

li ttl e melodramati c sketch may give some idea of thevaried obj ects which there meet the eye .We drove up and down several times, and recogni zed

not a few of our ship compani ons amongst others,the

l ittl e colonel,in a b arouche with some ladies

,whom he

was evidently entertaining with a “ yarn .

” Darknessnow came on apace . The mussalchees, or l ink-boys ,with their flaring mussauls, met their masters at turns ofthe roads, to light them to their several homes, and we

though t i t time to depart. M arpeet drove to hi s quarters,where he invi ted me to p ass the evening

,to which I

assented . S itting over our wine,M arpeet di scussed the

Course,and gave me a few h its of scandal , touching

sundry ladies and gentlemen we had seen,over which I

yawned, for I have ever abominated what are calledprivate histori es.

“ Well, sai d M arpeet, I think I shall start for theUpper Provinces

,and leave you sooner than I though t.

The lads there in the old corps are very anxious to haveme amongst them once more . I h ave a letter to-dayfrom Tippleton

—an old fri end of mine, who i s a realgood fellow

,with no nonsense about him (I hope to bring

you acquainted some day)— urging my going up withoutdelay . Let me see, said b e, feeling his pocket,

“ Ithink I have i t somewhere about me. Oh

,yes, here i t

i s, and you may read i t, i f you like . He i s rather fond,you will perceive

,of the Hindoostanee z uban, and so

forth , but he does not set up for a great scribe, but iswhat i s better

,a devili sh honest fellow. Come governor,

toss off your heel-taps, and take some more wine .”

Every l anguage has,probably, terms which, from

their superior terseness or euphony, express more fullythe meanings they are intended to convey than corresponding words in another tongue ; and this certainly


justifies their adop tion . But there is also a practice ofusing foreign phrases indiscriminately

,when the native

ones would do quite as well . Shortly after the last peace ,novel—w riters could express nothing with point and effectbut in French and Itali an; so in India there are a classof men

,generally small wi ts

,who interlard their conver

sation with Hindoostanee words and phrases these theyoften sport in England, where of course they are unintelligib le and out of place . Ye guardian genii whowatch over the well of English undefiled , whilst youadmi t what w ill puri fy and sweeten

,prevent its unhallowed

pollution from garbage thrown into i t by every idle andthoughtless hand ! And now for Captai n Tippleton

’

s

l etter,which though rather more fully charged with

Hindoostanee terms than any the writer ever met with ,ye t presents some likeness of a certain species of Indianepistolary style (of the slip-slop and slang-wangingorder)

Grillumabad , Aug. 18

M Y DE AR M AR PE E T,

Just now taking a (look) at the Calcutta K/mbber(News) , I saw your name amongst those of a batch ofgriffs and Taz u wulaz

'

ts (fresh E uropeans ) , havingarrived by the R ottenbeam Castle . Welcome back , mydear fellow

,to J01171 Kumpamy Ira raj . I h0pe youwill

cut Calcutta , and lose no time in puhonclzow ing ( conveying ) yourself up by dawk to j oin the old pult zm (battalion) , in which, I am sorry to say

,things have been

quite oa1m paella (topsy-turvy) since you leftus. Timshas qui tted the corps, as you probably know . He was ad d p uclr/za ( stingy) hand, and a muggm (sulky )beast into the bargain . However

,I don

’

t think we havegained much by his bud lee ( successor) , our new kummadam ( commandant ) -aregular babadm '

(great person ) ,w ho d icks our lives out with loud dum ooton (drill) ,dumcows (bullies) the native officers, andgallees ( abuses )the Jacks ( sepoys ) . Torrikins and I stillchum together ;he

, as gureeb and 800815 (quiet and lazy) as ever, and as11 2


fond of the brandy-

y awney , sends his bkote b/zote

salaam to M arpeet S ahib . S tation dull—no tumaska

(fun ) , as in the ol d times, when we were first here . Theother day

,however, ol d Dickdar, our brigadier, gave a

burm lclzamza (dinner) ; his loll (claret) was bang-upand you may be sure we did no t spare the s implcin

(champagne) ; burnt b eebee (great lady ) very gracious ,and a great show-ofi

'

of the bal butc/zos (children ) . Wehad the old bajj a (hand ) , your creation and hobby, inattendance, and got up a nautch . Smirks

,our adjutant,

qui te a burm admee (great man ) since he mounted thekantus ( spurs) , bucking up to and devilish sweet on thespinster ; but i t won

’

t b oga ( do) ; nothi ng under therevenue or j udicial department will go down thereS amjah S ahib -You understand me . Tip us a ch it,my dear fellow , by return of daw/c, and believe me,

My dear M arpeet, ever y ours very truly,JO NAS T1PPLE 1 0N .

Well,sai d I , as far as I can understand

,i t seems

a very fri endly sort of a letter ; but I should be betterable to j udge if you would give me the English of it.M arpeet laughed, called me a critical dog , and put the

letter in hi s pocke t .Come, added I , since you have shown me your

l etter, I will read you mine ; one I have received frommy factotum ,

Chattermohun Ghose,accounting for his

temporary absence,which

,for the choiceness of i ts

l anguage, i s quite a b ij ou in i ts way. Chattermohun

tells me he was for some time a wri ter in an adjutan t’

sothee, as also in a merchant

’

s counting-house here inC alcutta, which doubtless accounts for the phraseologysmacking no t a littl e of the technical language of boththose schools . Here i t i s :

‘M osr RE S PECTFUL AND HO N O UR E D S I R ,

Greatly labouring for fearful apprehension thatsudden non-appearance should dictate condemnation

I

11 11 1101118 011 A GRIFFIN.

the latter, all the heterogeneous commoditi es of an American store were to be seen mingled pel l-mell—raspberryj am , Milroy

’

s saddles, best pickles, regulati on-swords,wall-shades, Chin a dishes, hog-spears, Harvey

’

s sauce,

&c. of which , however, more anon . Catalogues of thevari ous arti cles to be disposed of at the day’s sale atTulloh

’

s

are (or were ) left daily at the houses in or near Calcutta,and made their appearance regularly wi th the newspapersat the break table, tempting to extravagance, by stimulating laten t desires or creating fictitious wants .In our commercial country and its dependencies

,where

Plutus i s the dei ty chiefly adored, it seems proper andstrictly in character that the pulpi ts connected with hi sworship , however remotely, should be ably and efficientlyfilled . Here, in England, we know this to be generallythe case, and what lustre the elo quence of some of ourleading auctioneers has shed on the profession how

truly, indeed, more than one of them meri t the praisewhich Johnson, happily quoting from Horace , bestowedon the genius of Goldsmith N z

'

lz z'

l guod tetzyz'

t non

ornavz’

t.

There was no lack of this shining talent,oratori cal

power, and technical tact, amongst the auctioneers ofCalcutta

,seasoned with humour, path os, or persuasion,

according to the occasion . How often h ave I heard themeri ts of avenerab le steed proclaimed ; his infirmitiesand defects (with a delicate regard to his presence)ligh tly touched upon

,or at most 80 disposed, like the

shades in a picture,as to heighten and improve the

general effec t ! How frequently have I been pleasan tlyreminded of th e good old maxim “ d e mortm

’

s m’

l m’

sz‘

bonum,

”

when listening to the commendations of a batchof dead and ullaged beer ! And how often temp ted tomake an investment in a cheap

“ gross of green spectacles,

”

a lot of d amaged huckaback,”

or the like, froma strong impression

,fostered by the auctioneer

’

s persuasive eloquence, that they migh t some day come intouse

,

” a contingent probabili ty largely insisted upon 1


What a Herculean task it i s to conj ure money out ofsome people

’

s pockets Consummate tact is requisite toeffect this end . What a world of machinery must beput in motion before the movable crank, the owner

’

shand

,finds its way into that pecuniary recep tacle ! A

bungler may fumble for a month and not find the motivespring

,whilst an adep t will touch i t in a moment. Yes

,

I see no reason on earth why the auctioneer’

s should notrank with the liberal professions . Does not the craftcombine, in an eminent degree, many of the leadi ngfeatures of those professions, which (always consideringthe predominant turn of the national mind ) unaccountab ly rank higher in public estimation—the special pleading of the lawyer, the eloquence of the senator, and thebusiness-l ike airs of the merchan t ? Does not theauctioneer, like another Charles Martel—ay, and withthe same weapon

,too—knock down his lots with as

much effect as the soldier does hi s Does he not pronounce orations over the dead, as has been alreadyshown, and display a beautiful morali ty in covering, aswith the man tle o f charity, a multi tude of d efects ? Isnot his going , going, gone,

”

too,a brief and pi thy

sermon,touchingly calculated to remind us of our

common mortality 9And in all these, are no t the functions of a higher

pulpit s trikingly exercised ? Ought he not to be a poet,

painter, critic—in short, a man of taste and generalinformation , or how is he to descant with effect on themeri ts of h is mul tifarious wares ? Should he not b e aphrenologist, that he may sui t his arguments to theseveral developments of his bidders ; a physiognomist,that he may j udge of the effect by the unerring indexof the countenance, whether rallying, bantering, bullying, or wheedling, i s the cue ; and a casuist, that h emay reconcile his mind to the various tri cks of the tradeand, finally, should he not h ave a deep insigh t intohuman nature in general , and know well i ts variousassailable points ? Shall I say, rupees for you

,


sir,for that Arab ? no animal c an look better, well

mounted,I assure you he will suit your weight and

figure to a n icety—was ridden by the Hon . Cap t .Dangle

,j ust gone home , a gentleman very much of

your appearance, sir, and who l ately, to borrow the

language of our immortal bard,was wont on our course

h ere to witch the world wi th noble horsemanship,’

uponthat very Arab . S ir—shall I take your bid ? A

complaisant nod —the business i s done . “ Thankyou, sir rupees for the Arab—going

,going,

gon e !One morning

,Grundy and I breakfasted together in

my room,whi ch was within a few doors of h is own , when

one of the aforementioned catalogues found i ts way intoour posse8810n .

Grundy,

” said I ,“ whilst I despatch th is fish and

rice, as you appear to h ave done, do j ust read wh at therei s for sale to-day at th e auction . I have a feeling that Iwant something

,though

,hang me if I can exactly tell

what i t i s .”

Grundy commenced , and read as follows Lot l st.Three fine alderney cows .

“ Deuce take the cows,said I push ou.

Three calves belonging to ditto .

Fire away.

”

Three Cape sheep,of the Doomb ah breed .

Doombah breed ! that sounds well ; egad, I think Imust have a bid for the sheep—what comes next

“ A noble French mastiff,two bull-dogs

,two wire

h aired S cotch terriers,and a greyhound bitch with pup ,

j ust imported by the Found erw ell.

That’

s the ticket,”

I exclaimed,with eagerness I

’

l lh ave some of the dogs

,if they go reasonably

—that’s asettled poin t—for there’s rare hunting to be had, I hear,on the way up.

Grundy ran down several columns more of live anddead stock ; and there were many things, without whichI found I could not comfortably exist for twenty-four

106 MEMOIRS 011 A ( 11111

1

11

111.

of a future pack. I was, however, destined very shortlyafter to be put a good deal out of conceit of him .

A few days after I had made my purchase,Captain

M arpeet dropped in, and took a seat on my cot as he waswont. Hearing the rattling of a chain underneath

,h e

said ,What the deuce have you got here, Gernon ?A dog , said I ; a terrier I lately bought .

”

A terrier ! eh Let’s have a look at him.

Teazer, on being summoned , came out from under thebed

,gave himself a shake

,and, on seeing M arpeet, who

was strange to him ,and rather an odd-looking fellow to

boot,incontinently cooked up his nose and emi tted a

most lugubrious howl,one with which the Pariars°le inIndia

are wont to serenade our chaste mistress, the moon .

Halloo,said M arpeet, with a look of surpri se,

where on earth did you get th i s beast ? Why,he

’

s aregular terrier bunnow .

”

i‘

A terr ier bmm ow ,said I

,what

’

s thatWhy,

”

rej oined the captain,he

’

s a thorough Pari ardocked and cropped to make him look like a terrier ; i t

’sa common trick played upon griffs, and you

’

ve been takenin, that

’

s all . What did you give for him ?Why, ten rupees, I replied and I though t I had

him remarkably cheap .

Cheap ! said the cap tain , wi th infinite con temp the

’

s no t worth five pice ; kick him out hang him !Thank you

,

”

sai d I bu t as I’

ve bought him,I

’

ll

keep him he’

ll help to make up a pack, and I don’t see

why h e should no t act up to his assumed character, andhunt very well yousee he knows how to give tongue,at all events .

Ha ha said M arpeet come,that

’

s no t sob ad ; but he

’

s a brute,upon my life—a useless brute,

k ick him to the d —l.“ No,

” I rej oined,a littl e nettled to hear my dog

Village-curs , appertaining to no one inparticular.1 A made-up ”

terrier.

MEMOIRS O F A (11111 11111. 107

abused after th at fashion ; I tell you I’

ll keep him ;besides

,I have no acquaintance in the quarter you men

ti on , and should be sorry to send him where he wouldbe likely to annoy you again .

Here were symptoms of downright insubordination .

The cap tain stared at me in astonishment,and emitted a

l ong and elaborate whew !’

Pon my honour,regular disrespect to your superior

officer. Well, after that, I must have a glass of brandy

pawny.

S o you shall, said I , wi th all my heart but youreally were a little too hard, and forgot the saying, Loveme, love my dog .

’

To return, however, from this li ttle episode . Grundyand I , in pursuance of our determination to visi t theauction

, got into our palankeens, and soon found ourselves amidst the dust

,noise

,and motion of Tank

Square, near whi ch the auction, or outcry ( as i t i s moreusually termed in India ) i s held . A long covered place

,

something like a reposi tory,filled with palankeens, car

riages, horses, &c., for sale, had to be passed through

before w e reached the auction-room,where goods of all

kinds were disposed of. This we found crammed withnatives, low Europeans, black Portuguese, and others ofthe motley population of Calcutta, mingled with a fewcivili ans

,and a pretty considerable Sprinkling of red

coats from Barrackpore or the fort,all more or less in

tent upon the bidding.

The auctioneer, a good-looking man and remarkablyfluent, was mounted on hi s rostrum,

and holding f orthupon the merits of certain goods, which a native assistant, on a platform a littl e lower than the pulpit, washanding round for inspection . Grundy and I forced ourway in, watching anxiously to see if any thing

“in our

way” was exhibiting. At last, the auctioneer took up agoodly-siz ed knife, wi th some dozen blad es, &0. Thesehe opened dainti ly and deliberately

,and then

,holding

up the knife and turning i t about, he said,


Now here’

s a pretty thing—a highly-finished arti cl ea perfect multum inp arvo . Don

'

t all of youbid forthis at once, gentlemen , i f you please . Here’s a largeblade, you see, to cut bread and cheese wi th , a small oneto mend your pens, a corkscrew to Open a bottle ofHodgson

’

s pale ale when you are out shooting,tweezers

to pull the thorns out of your toes,pincers

, file, gimletall complete . A most useful arti cle that

,and (with

marked emphasis,and an eye towards Grundy and me

,

which made us exchange looks significant of purchase) ,one which no young sportsman should be without .That was sufficient I was determined to have it

,and

after an eager bid or two , i t was knocked down to me .I found afterwards

,however, to my extreme surprise and

dismay, I had unconsciously purchased a lot of threedozen of them

,enough to set up a cutler’s stal l in a smal l

way. There was no help for it, however I was obligedto take them all

,though I determined in future to study

well the catalogue before I ventured on a bid .

The dogs,I found, had attracted the p arti cular no ti ce

of more sportsmen than myself. A young ensign fromBarrackpore carried off the greyhound bitch for R s. 200,a li ttle more than a month

’

s p ay . A writer in the buildings bought the French mastiti

'

and the terrier,which

wen t hi gh , and I was obliged to conten t myself with oneof the bull-dogs , a sinister-looking old fellow, wi th oneeye, who went cheap , and would have been cheaper still ,had not Grundy

,whom I requested to secure i t, bidden

silently against me in the crowd several times before I hadp rovidentially discovered my Opponent. Poor beast ! hedied three months after

,on my way up, of nostalg ia, I

rather think,and I gave him decen t sepulture on a spit

of sand in the Ganges .From the auction we proceeded to the China baz aar .Grundy

,said I , as we went along, rather nonc/za

lamment, you need not say anything to Cap tain Marpeet, about my buying those knives .

”

Why not he asked .

110 MEMOIRS 01 A GRIFFIN .

Jack rose from his chair as we drew near, overshadowing us striplings with his Patagonian bulk . I , for mypart (being then what i s vulgarly called a lathy chapfel t myself disagreeably small beside him, doubly so hebeing a “ black fellow,

”

and though t I was under thenecessity of speaking pretty b ig, in order to make up forthe deficiency, and to place myself more on a level wi thhim . Jaw ing Jack had had large experience of griffs,and , though he treated us in a kind of p atronisingmanner

, he cau tiously avoided anything that migh t l eadto offence

,and a consequent lowering of his own

dignity.There i s a sly satire sometimes in the c alm and im

perturbable deportment of the Asiati c, when dealing withthe rattling , blustering, overbearing European, whichconveys a tacit censure well calculated to shame our

boasted civi liz ation . Lately arrived from Europe ,gentlemen , I suppose Hope you are quite well ? Willyou please do me the honour to walk into my sh0pshal l be happy to supply anything re-qui-red, at veryreasonable pri ce . I h ave honour to be well

'

known to allmilitary gentlemen at Barrackpore , and sell best o fEuropean arti cles, and no N iverpool

* goods .’

Havingrummaged “ Jawing Jack

'

s”

S hep , and bough t a fewarticles

,we took our departure, promising at parting to

honour him with our future custom .

The Bengalese have a wonderful deal of versatili tyand acuteness

,certainly not naturally the mental

power and energy of the European ; but as they livetemperately, and do no t clog the in tellectual wheels wi thbeef and mal t liquor. the mental machinery i s generallyin capital working order.O u returning to my quarters

,I found a chupprassy,

or messenger,wi th a note from General Capsicum,

acknowledging the receip t of a letter I had sent himfrom his friend S i r Toby Tickle

,and requesting my

Liverpool, long considered adistinct empire from Great Britain bythe natives

, and as forming no part of Europe.

11111101118 01' A GRIFFIN. 111

company to tiffin and dinner on the following day, at hish ouse at Garden Beach .

A l i ttle before the appointed hour, I ordered a palankeen, and proceeded to the general

’

s residence,situated

in a pleasant domain,some two or three miles from Cal

cutta. O n arriving, I was shown up-stairs into thedrawing-room

,which commanded a pleasant view of the

B oogly, with i ts moving scene of boats and shipping,and a distant peep of Fort William .

I was standing gazing on the prospect, admiring theboats under sail gliding from side to side, walking as i twere the minuet of the waters

,the shadows skimming

over the river, and the milk-whi te vi llas on the oppositebank starting out from amidst the bright green ofsurrounding groves, when the rustl e of a gown and aslight touch on the shoulder aroused me from my stateof abstraction . It was th e young widow of whom Ihave already made mention

,the softened image of the

rough old general,my Hibernian host .

“ How do you do, M r. Gernon ? said she, extendingher hand wi th exceeding frankness and smiling cordi ali ty ;I am so glad to see you again and not looking in anyway the worse for your soj ourn in Calcutta .

”

(Oh !that our English pride and sensitiveness

,those adaman

tine trammels of caste, which strangle so many of ourvirtues

,would let us have a li ttle more of that single

hearted openness which thinketh no evil —it i s socomfortable Have you seen my father yet askedMrs . Delaval, for that was her name .I answered in the negative .Oh, then, she continued,

“ h e will b e here immediately when he knows of your arrival, for he i sanxious

,I-know

,to see you ; he i s somewhere in th e

house,amusing himself with his violin . But pray

, M r.

Gernon,be seated,

”she continued,

“ and tel l me howyou like India

,now that you have seen a l ittle more

of i t.“ I like i t much, I replied, and never was happier


in my life. I have go t my commission,and as soon as

p osted to a regiment , am off to the Upper Provinces bywater . I have some idea of applying for a particularcorps

,but have not ye t decided on th at point : they say

y ou should no t interfere with the Operations of theFates , but leave yourself to th eir direction . What

,

madam, continued I , would you advise me to do“ Oh ! really, said Mrs . Delaval, smiling at the idea

of my asking her advice on such a point, I fear I amincompetent to advise you

,not knowing all the circum

stances of your posi tion ; you ough t, of course, toconsider well before you act

, and having so done, leavethe result to Providence . I am, however, s aid she ,somewhat seriously, a decided predestinari an

,and

believe that

There i s aprovidence that shapes our ends,R ough-hew them how w e w i ll . ’

It i s a puzzli ng subj ec t,said I , and one that i s

rather beyond me one i f I remember ri ghtly, th at evenb ewildered the devils in Pandemonium . However

,I

think the safest maxim to hold by is, that conduct i sfate .

”

This was rather a philosophical opinion for a griffin,

but one whi ch I have always held , though young bloodat that time and since has often capsized the philoso ~

her.P“ Well

,M r. Gernon, continued she,

“ you have mybest wishes for your happiness and success in life ; all i scouleur d e rose with you now may i t ever so continue !Already

,s aid she, and the tear gli stened, the clouds

of life are b eginning to pass over me .As sh e said this, she crossed her fair whi te hands on

h er l ap , and the widow’s eyes sadly dropped on her

wedding ring,the little golden circlet type of etern al

fidelity. I understood it,and was s ilent. S i lence i s

preferable on such occasions,perh aps

,to the common

places of condolence . We both con tinued mute for


Capsicum , to much vulgari ty adds all my father’

s violence and irritabili ty, with none of his redeeming qualiti es . You must be submissive

,and prove yourself a

‘ good listener,’

or youwill h ave l ittle chance of standingw ell wi th her .

”

Thi s was sai d with some little asperi ty of manner,plainly indicating that the step-mother was no t morepopular than step-mothers generally are .

“ As for the others y ouwill see here, you may safelybe left to the guidance of your own j udgment and d iscre tion in your conduct towards them .

I thanked Mrs . Delaval for her information, which , Isaw, emanated from the purest feeling of womanly kindness, and promised to be on my guard, and endeavour t o

profit by it.

CHAPTER XI.

I MUST here in terrup t the thread of my narrative, inorder to give a few parti culars resp ecting my host andhis family, which may serve as samples of the oldentime of India .The general was the youngest of th e ten sons of S ir

Gerald Capsicum, a fire-eating baronet of a rare ouldancien t Iri sh family

,and was sent to India ab out anno

1 750, with little more than his sword, hi s brogue, andthe family love of fighting wherewith to assist him on inthe world . The general

’

s career had been varied,and he

had gone through all the adventures,publi c and domes

ti c, which usually h appened to those whose lot, in respectto time and place, had been similarly cast .I have said the general was an Irishman ; i t follows as

a natural consequence,that he was extremely susceptible

of the tenderest of p assions and as in his early daysthere were few white dames in the land , l ike many o thershe e

’

en put up wi th a black one—attached himself to

ME MOIRS O F A GRIFFIN. 115

S ung S ittara Begum (the Queen of Stars one of thegazelle-eyed daughters of Hind.Thi s union, though not cemented by the forms of

marri age, was, on the whole, more harmonious and en

during than many that are . I say on the whole for iftradition may be depended on, the Queen of S tars waswont

,now and then , to exhibit traits of vivacity, which

were rather of a str iking than of a pleasing nature.With these trifling breaks, the union long harmoniouslysubsisted

,and was not finally dissolved till the angel of

d eath,one fine day

,summoned the Begum to the seventh

heaven .

By the Begum,the general had Maj or John Capsicum ,

an officer in the service, and commanding the forces ofh is h ighness Ram Row E how Punt

,the Jam of Ghur

rumnugger, a Mahratta potentate of small note, whoseterri tories i t might be difficult to di scover in the mapsecondly

,Augustus

,an indigo planter in the distri ct of

Jessore,commonly called by th e general

’

s native servants

(who, l ike all the rest of the fraternity, were not auf ailat European names)

“ Disgustus°S ahib ; and Mrs .

Colonel Yellowly,a lady of high and indomitable spirit,

who died some years before the period to which I amreferring, and of whom I could learn little more fromrecord or tradition than that she was rather celebrated forthe manufacture o f Chutnee and Dopiajah curry, talkeda good deal of a certain term mcogm

'

ta called home,

and ultimately went off rather suddenly,—as some afii rm,

from chagrin in consequence of having a point of precedence decided against her, ari sing out of a dispute withLady Jiggs at a presidency party as to who d e j ureshould first come in or go out.Th e stickling for precedency, by the way, i s a disorder

very prevalent in coloni al dependencies ; and like gravitation, which increases with the squares of the distance,i ts intensi ty seems to be governed by a somewhat similarl aw, and to exist in an inverse ratio to the apparen t causefor i t.


Long after the general had passed his fiftieth year,he

married the mother of the amiable widow ( a nonpareilgrafted on a crab) , by all accounts a charming person ,who, yielding to importuni ty, took old Capsicum to

gratify the ambi tion of worldly p arents,in whose

Opinion wealth and rank are all that are essential toconnubial h appiness .Poor thing ! she gave her hand, but her heart was

another’

s . The worm-i’-the-bud was there , and soon did

the business . Opportuni ty offered—nature was too

powerful for the colder suggestions of duty—she elopedwith the man she loved but even love canno t flourish inan atmosphere of scorn . Mankind are intensely gregarions . Shunned—deserted by her own sex

, who, likebirds ( though from more obvious cause ) , peck theirwounded fellows to death—she died in a lone outpo st,and the winds of the j ungles pipe over her solitarygrave.

C’

est bien d ifiicile d’etre fideleA d e certains maris, faits d ’

uncertainmodelle,E t qui donne asafille unhomme qu

’

elle ha’

i t.

E st responsa'

ole auCiel pour le mal qu’

elle fait.

Admirable M ohere ! you never penned a more strikingtruth . Parents

,ponder i t well .

The general,after the lapse of some years, with the

characteristi c valour of the Cap si cums, boldly ventured,a short time before I knew him , on a second marriage ;but here he caugh t a Tartar . Mrs . Capsicum the secondwas an Irish lady (woman I should perhaps say ) . whocame out to India avowedly on spec ., with the fulldetermination of marrying a good establishment, withcomfortable reversionary prospects

,however they migh t

happen to b e encumbered . She made play at thegeneral , sang

“ Erin mavourneen and CathleenO

’

M ore, talked of the Callaghans and Brallaghans,rev ived the general

’

s boyish reminiscences of the greenh ills of S ligo

, and ultimately led him ,or rather had him

earned, to the hymeneal al tar ! O f love—the proper

118 ME MO IRS O F A GRIFFIN .

his eye ligh ted on a letter lying on the table,whi ch

quickly threw the irritable ol d fellow off hi s balance,

and put the courti er to fligh t.Why, mee heart

,Cordalia, li e thundered out

in a voice that startl ed me ; by all that’

s good,that

egragious ass, Ramdial, has gone without the letter.A man naid h ave the timper of an angel to dale withthese fellows .Mrs. Delaval, to cut the affair short

,rose immed i

ately'

from her seat,and taking the letter, called a

servant to the head of the stairs, and quickly rectified

the omission .

“ Thank ye, Cordalia, mee love, sai d the old general as she returned ; “ thank ye, mee darling ; andtaking her hand and drawing the graceful creature towards him, he imprinted a ki ss on her cheek .

There’

s no use mincing matters— I certainly enviedhim the privilege .This l ittle interrupti on over, I returned to a speechwhich , having previously word ed and fashioned inrather a superior style, I though t i t a pity should b el ost.I said

,after a hem or tw o, that I felt deeply obliged

for hi s cordial recep tion of me, that I should study todeserve h is good «opinion, and to realiz e the gratifyinganti cipations he had so obligingly expressed, oz c. &c.

Ye will, sur ye will , sur, said the general “I

’

ve

not the laste doubt of i t ; and, plase God, we’

ll someday see you as accomplished a soldier as was yourpoor uncle, the colonel,

“What ! sir,”

said I,pleased wi th the di scovery, and

wi th no fear that 126 was about to come Chattermohunover me ;

“ did you then know my uncle, ColonelGernon

“ Know him ! s aid the general,with energy and

warmth I did,and righ t well too ; we were in God

dard ’

s march together and the Rohilla c ampaign, andinmany places besides. Yes,

”

he continued, warming

MEMOIRS O F A GR IFFIN . 119

as he wen t on, poor Pat Gernon and I have broiledunder the same tint and fough t under the same banner

,

ay, by G and mounted the same brache together ;yes

,added he

,clutching his fiddlestick, and looking as

fierce as if he was bursting through the fire and carnageof an assault

,

“ I think I now hear the shouts of theinimy, and see your brave uncle ladi ng on his gallan tS apoys through fire and smoke, his beaver in one handand his sword in the other. Ah

,he went ou

,touched

and overcome, whilst his eye moistened, them were thedays the thought of them—i t i s now long, long backand of all my old companions gone

,comes over me some

times like a faint air or a summer’

s drame . Know youruncle ! Ay di d I , and a braver soldier or a better man( though he had his faults, and who the di vil has notnever broke the bread of life .”

I felt a sensati on of choking,whilst al l the ancient

blood of the Gernons mantled inmy cheeks,as I li stened

to the veteran’

s animated laudati on of my deceasedrelative .Well

,sur, continued the general, suddenly changing

the subj ect, and as if a li ttle ashamed of the weaknessand enthusiasm into which he had been betrayed

,and

how did you lave my old friend, S ir Toby ? Is he a sfond of hi s bottle and his rubber as he used to be Ithink he played the best hand at whist of any man I everknew .

“ I believe, sir, said I , that S ir Toby’

s habi ts are nuchanged in those respects though I am unable to speakmuch of him from personal knowledge, having obtai nedthe letter o f introducti on which I have had the honourto deliver to you through the kindness of a mutualfri end .

Well,never mind how ye got it , so that ye di d get

i t . I am ex tramely happy that i t has been the manes ofintroducing to my acquain tance the nephew of my oldcompanion in arms

,to whom

,by the way, you hear a

strong resemblance : so now, he continued, talk to my

120 MEMOIRS O F A (1111121 1111.

daughter, or amuse yourself in any way ye plase ti ll tiffin

,and I

’ll do the same ; thi s is l iberty hal l, whereevery man does as he plases. Cordali a, my love, wherei s your motherI have not seen Mrs . Capsi cum,

sir, thi s morningsince breakfast

,replied Mrs . Delaval but I b eli eve

she has gone out to pay some visi ts .“ Has she ? said the general dryly well

,now

,I

though t I noti ced a remarkable stillness over thehouse .This was sai d in a manner

,I thought, which smacked

of what may be termed a bitter mirth .

This conversation had scarcely terminated, when we

heard a loud and angry voice on the stai rs or landing ;and next moment

,in sailed Mrs . C apsicum Secunda

,

with a face that would have made a fine studyfor a Hecate , a Gorgon, a Fury

,or any other of

those celebrated characters,in whose countenances the

ancien ts were wont to d epict all the wildest play of thepassions . Mrs . Del aval turned pale, the old generallooked di smayed

,and I , for my part, groped for my hat,

thinking I migh t doub tless b e d e trap and better outof the way before the family breeze sp rung up, and ofwhi ch the1 e were such alarming indicati ons .Mrs . Capsicum seated herself maj estically—her lip

qui vered with rage, and an unhappy poodle, who came

to be caressed,and received a sweeping blow from her foot

,

which caused him to throw a ludi crous somerset . Now ,

though t I , look out for squalls .General Capsicum knew

,probably from exp erience ,

that his spouse would generally have the l ast word,but on the present occasion he was determined (ordeemed i t poli tic ) to have the first.

“ Mrs . Capsicum,mee dear

,said he, in a deprecat

ing tone, ‘ you don’t appear to persave our youngfri end here, M r. Gernon (wishing clearly to thr ow meou t as a tub to the whale) . The lady measured mewith a momen tary glance

,and made the stiffes t con

122 ME MOIR S or A GRIFFIN.

fortab le assurance that he should be flogged and dismissed .

Oh, tyranny, thou propensity of ungenerous souls !like Othello

’

s love, thou growest with indulgence ; ti ll,like to every other evil, thou at l ast evokest the spiri tthat l ays thee lowWell

,the storm at last having fairly subsided, the

general hobbled to the couch , and took up a paper, as ifglad for a season to re treat within himself. Mrs . Delaval and I carried on a conversati on in an under-tone,whilst Mrs . Capsicum in silence digested her choler .The silence was interrupted by the entrance of a

native servant,who

,with closed hands

,and in a manner

profoundly respectful,said something in an under-tone

to the beebee sahib .

Ginrel Capsicum, said Mrs . C .,as the servant wi th

drew, here i s your son Augustus arrived .

Is he sai d. the old general,j umping up and throw

ing down the paper ;“ fai th , then, I

’

m glad of i t, and ye

Eaven

’

t told me a pleasanter thing for a long time, myeer .These words were scarcely u ttered

,when a dark black

whi skered man, of a frank and ingenuous countenance,wi th a hunting-cap on his head , and a whip in his hand,entered the room, and runni ng up to the old general andseizing his extended hand in both his own

,in a man

ner which bespoke genuine warmth and affection, exclaimed

“How are you,sir ? quite recovered

,I hope, from

your last attack ?“ Well

,my boy

,well ! said the general , his eyes

sparkling w i th pleasure as he measured hi s stalwart darkoffspring from head to foot, as if in some doub t as towhether he could really b e the sire of such a brawnychiel . Well ! and righ t glad to see you here ; howdid you comeWhy, I left the factory early this morning, sir,

sai d Disgustus came on as far as the Budlampore


ghaut in the pinnace from that I drove the buggy downto the Thannah , and there I found Golaub in wai ting ;I rode him in here at a rattling pace—confounded h otwork i t was, though ; and I expect I

’

ve rather taken theshine out of the Arab .

That’

s well,”

said the general,and now be sated .

Augustus, my young fri end, M r. Gernon M r. Gernon ,my son, M r. Augustus C apsicum .

I bowed with English formality, but the hearty manof blue did not appear to understand that sort of thing

,

but came up and shook me by the hand ; asked me if Iwas l ately arrived, and said he was glad to see me. Thiswas a pleasing trai t, and showed me the frankness of hisd isposition .

After some little conversation with his mother-in-l aw,with whom i t was easy to pe rceive he was no particularfavourite, and a lively chat wi th his lovely and generousminded sister, who i t was equally obvious loved her darkbrother, in sp ite of the bend sinister in his escutch eonfi'e

General Caps i cum again addressed his son“Well, Augustus, said he,

“ what are the prospectsof indigo this year

“

? how does th e blue lookOh fair, sir, very fair . If w e have no further rise

of the river, and get a few light showers, and the raindoes not fall too long to wash the colour ou t of theplant, and this wind continues, we shall do very wellthi s year . The price i s well up, R s. 300 a maund forthe best, and I think w e shall make 600. The plan tlooks beautiful on the Chuckergolly churs—at least i tdid ti ll the Bob b erygunge Talookdar

’

s cows and buffaloes got into i t. However, after all, I think we shall, onthe whole, have a capital season .

”

That’

s well, sai d the general .“Egad, I think we

'

l lsee you go home with your plum, Augustus, yet.

Inthis country of high-pressure morality, i t may b e right to explainthat the same reluctance to mingle under one roof th e chi ldren legi timép rocreati with those less legally begottendoes not ex ist in India, w hereunhappily, humanity and laxi ty flourish together, the reverse of what itshould be, of course.

MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN .

Home, sir ! said Augustus ;“ I know of no home

but India . Here I was born, and here, please God, Iwill die

,however singular the determination .

Titfin was now announced, and we descended to thedining-room . Tiflin, or lunch , i s in Bengal a delightfulmeal

,suitable in i ts character to the climate

,which

renders the supererogatory one of dinner,p articularly in

the hot season, with i ts hecatombs of smoking meat andgeneral superfluity of viands, often very much thereverse .The tiffin on the whole passed off very agreeably .

Mrs . Delaval described socie ty as i t exists in the Madraspresidency, and much she had seen and heard there .Augustus told us of a recent battle-royal

,a sort of

Bengalee Chevy Chase, which had been fough t betweenh is followers and those of a neighbouring Zumeendar,by way of settling the righ t to some disputed beegahs ofindigo in which many crowns were cracked

,and astonish

ing feats of chivalry displayed on both sides .But the parts of h is conversati on which most deligh ted

me, were the accounts he gave of sundry wild hog andbuffalo hunts , which after deducting about 50 per cent.on account of embellishments -for sportsmen

,likeZpoets,

must be allowed some considerable lati tud e in that way—were really very exciting . In fact, I told him I was

dying to have a touch at th e hogs and buffaloes myself,

and that I hoped i t would not b e long before I fleshedmy maiden spear on a few of the former .This looked rather like a fish for an invi tati on to the

Junglesoor Factory, and I won’

t swear that I was whollywithout design on the worthy indigo planter

'

s hospitalityin making the remark whether he viewed i t in thi s light,or no t

,I cannot say

,but be promptly said he should be

happy to gratify my longing in that line, if I would goand spend a fortnight with him at his factory.

I replied,I should be delighted to accompany him,

i f I could ob tain leave .Oh ! said he, that d ifficulty can easily be over


glasses of ginger and gooseberry inclusive) , the aggregatequantity of vinous fluid consumed by me, and constitut

ing the b asis of my experience, could not have exceededtwo or three dozen at the most. But I was flattered bythe general

’

s appeal , and, as a mili tary man, I felt that Iought not to appear ignorant and inexperienced on sucha matter .Many young Oxonians and Cantabs

,whom I had

known at home,little my seniors

,had talked fiingingly

in my presence of their wine , and the quantityconsumed by the men

’’

oi their respective collegesand why should no t I , methought, assume the air of thesavoir vivre, and appear at home in these things , whohave already figured in print and buckled cold steel onmy thi gh ? I had heard much, too, of ligh t wines ,and dry wines

,wines that were ful l and strong-bodied,

&c., and, though I attached no very clear and de

finiteideas to these terms,I had still a h azy con

ception of their meaning, and was determined, at alleven ts

,to sport one or two of them on the present

occasion .

In reply to the general’

s question , I filled a glass, andafter taking an observation of the sun through i t (justthen darting his evening rays through the veneti ans) withmy righ t eye

,accompanied by a scientific screw of the

facial muscles,pronounced it, with a smack, to be a fine

full-bodied wine,adding

,unhappily

,that I should have

almost taken i t for port .”

The general laid down his knife and fork . Port !Why, sir, sure ye never drank a (11011 of good claretin your l ife

,i f you say so .

”

I beg p ardon , sir ! sai d I (I saw I was gettinginto a '

scrape) , but I may perhaps be wrong in saying i t resembles port. I meant t o say—to imply—thati s—that i t i s very strong claret.Pooh , nonsense, said the general pettishly, on

whom my explanation was far from producing thedesired effect. “

Ye can know nothing about claret”


(he was not very wide of the mark there ) . S trong '

l ike port, indeed 1”

“M y dear father, said Mrs . Delaval ( the women

are ever our good geniuses on these occasions) , whomarked

,I have no doub t, the clouds gathering on my

brow,

never mind ; what does i t signify ? Youknow

,sai d she, l aying her h and on the general

’

sshoulder

,and looking at him with a sweet and beseech

ing expression,you know, M r. Gernon I S qui te young,

and cannot have had much experience in wines .Then let him take my advi ce, Cordalia, and not talk

about what he does not understand . S trong ! ha! ha!Port

,indeed

I was thunderstruck, and though t veri ly I should havelaunched the bottle at the head of the testy old veteran,so deep a wound had my pride received . I could hardlybeli eve it possible that one of evidently so fine a character in the main, could give way to such unbecoming conduct on so trifling a matter.The fact i s, the general had had his crosses and tri als,

and such often shatter the temper irretrievably, thoughthe heart and principles may remain sound—muchcharity and dis crimination are requisite to enable us toform a j ust j udgment of others, to decide on the predominan t hue of that mingled skein which consti tutes individual character.Augustus, worthy fellow that he was, saw my distress

and redoubled his civili ty, whilst Mrs. Delaval, by thattac t and kindness which women best know how to exb ibit on such occasions, endeavoured to soften my senseof the indigni ty even Mrs . Capsicum took up the cudgels in my behal f, and told the general roundly that hemade h imself quite ridiculous about his wine . But al lwould not do ; the affront was too recen t, and I wasmoody and glum, pondering within myself as towhether there were any well-establ ished precedents onrecord, of ensigns of seventeen calling out and shooting generals of eigh ty.


General Capsi cum’

s i rritability, how ever, soon subsided ,and compunctious Vi sitings arose I could see this byhis eye and. the softened expression of hi s countenance

,

and that he was moreover anxious to make the amend eh onorable at l ast he reached the bo ttle and filled himself a bumper and me another.Come,

”

said he, good-humouredly, l et us try anotherglass

,and d —n the port. Here

’

s your very goodhealth

,and success to your first day

’

s hog-hunting withAugustus .I returned the salutati on rather stifli y, for, though of

a placable nature,I had not digested the affront ; how

ever, the tide of my anger was turned, and by dinnertime the general and I were as good friends as i f nothinghad happened .

We lingered for an hour or two at the titfin table ,Augustus S ahib entertaining me wi th some detail s o fsnipe shooting

,and arranging a programme of our future

sporting operations,the general drowsily smoking h is

hookah and nodding in his chair,wi th an occasional start

and muttered commentary on our conversati on,indicative ,

I once or twice though t, of some fresh explosion .

At length, on the approach of evening, the servants,as i s usual in India

,unbolted and threw Open the long

venetian doors, to admit the cool air, and out we sauntered on the lawn , to j oin the l adies ( to whose numbersome addition had been made ) , and who had precededus, and were admiring the moving scene on the river.The sun had j ust gone down

,and allnature seemed to be

with one accord putting forth a rej oicing shout, an excessof that luminary producing all the torpid effects whicharise from adeficiency of his beams elsewhere . The kitewhistled querulously from the house-top

,the mayn

'

as andsquirrels chattered j oyfully in the trees

,ring—doves cooed ,

and the bright yellow mango birds and the dark coel(loved of Indian maids) shot through the cool groves andglades of cocoa-nut and bananas (plantains ) , u tteringtheir clear and shrilly notes .


I think I now behold the group w e formed, the whitedresses of the ladies, making them to look like spiri tswalking in a garden , and honest Augustus, with hi ssolalz top ee,

* looking down on his shoes, and sayingagreeable things

,th e shadows of even ing closing around

us ; the huge fox bats sailing heavily over-head ; the riverspreading its broad surface before us

,suffused with

the crimson flush of departing day ; the boats movingacross i t afar, their oars dabbling as i t were in quicksilver the mists rising slowly from neighbouring grovessteali ng over the scene, and then the stilly, tranquil hour,broken only by the plash of passing oars

,the sound of

a distant gong, or the far-ofi'

musi c of a marri age ceremony

,or the hum and dr umming of the bazaar—those

drowsy sounds of an Indi an eve . It was a bi t of sti lllife to be ever remembered .

The guests for the 6mm kfiana now began to arrive .G igs, carri ages, and palankeens, flamb eaux

,dancing

ligh ts,and the musical groans of the ca/zars, or bearers,

as they hurri ed along the winding road,made the gene

ral’

s domain,a few moments before buried in repose

,a

scene of life and animati on .

We returned to the mansion . The recep tion roomwas fast filling . Generals, colonels, j udges, barristersof the Supreme Court, merchants, agents, wri ters, withtheir ladies

,the eli te of Calcutta fashionable soci ety

,

was, now, for the first time, submitted to myfob servation.

White j ackets,and sti ll whiter faces

,were the predomina

ting features of the group ( excep t where relieved byEnglish blood and up-country bri ck-dust) , whose manners on the whole struck me as being more frank andopen than those of people in England, although thatfreedom occasionally bordered, I though t in many, on arough , familiar, horse-play sort of manner, which then,at least

, was too common in India, where the causeswhich predispose to a disregard of courtesy are unfortumately too ri fe .

Broad-brimmed hat of pith or solah .


Some of the party discussed poli tics, horse-racing, thelatest news from up the country

,the promotions and

appointments,and so forth , in groups ; whilst others,

four or five abreast,stumped up and d own the broad

verandah,talking and laughing energetically ; their

spiri ts evidently enlivened by the rapid locomotion inwhich they were indulging.

General Capsicum was very pleasant wi th the burnt

beebee, a fine stately old dame, with a turban of bird ofp aradise plumes

,and with whom , I afterwards learned

he had actually walked a minuet in the year of grace1 7 70. Mrs . Capsicum , surrounded by a group of military men and young wri ters, was endeavouring to reduceher l arge mouth to the smallest p ossible dimensionsmincing the king

’

s English,and talking conversation

mighty illigant to the whole ring,in whose counten

auces a certain mock gravity indicated pretty evidentlywhat they thought of her .At last, the khansaman-j ee, or chief butler, a very

important and respectable personage,with an aldermanic

expansion of the abdominal region, a huge black beard,and a napkin hanging from his kummerbund , or girdle,with hands respec tfully closed

,head on one

'

side,and an

air most profoundly deferential , announced to the generalthat the dinner was served Tiar lzyn

“Dinner ready , did ye say ? said the general,who

was a little deaf, and turning up his best ear to catch thereply .

“ Han klzodab zmd yes,slave of the Lord) ,

repeated the lc/zansaman-j ee .

Come, gintlemen; come, leed ies—those who haveany mind to ate may follow me .Thus saying, the general , with great gaité d e coeur

,

presented hi s arm to the old lady of the bird of paradiseplume

,and hobbled off with her, chattering and laugh

ing,and followed by the whole company . I , the lanky

gritfin, brought up the rear, looking, on the whole rathersmall .


The coup -d’

oez'

l of a grand dinner party in Calcu tta,given by a rich merchant or high official, i s a verysplendid affair

,and perhaps ecl ipses anything to be seen

in the mansions of persons of the same rank in England .

The general’

s presented a brilli ant sample of orientalstyle a long and lofty room in a blaze of lustre

,from a

row of w all l ights a table,covered with a profusion of

plate and glass, occupied nearly the whole length of theapartment ; the huge pun/mlzs, suspended from theceiling

,w ith their long fringes

,waved to and fro , gently

agitating the air in the room,which would o therwise

have been hardly endurable from the crowd i t contained .

There was much lively conversation , taking wine, andclashing of knives and plates ; altogether far less quiet,I thought

,than at a dinner in England . The peculiar

feature,however, of the scene, and that which marked

most strongly i ts eastern character, was the multi tude of

servants in attendance on the guests behind each chair,

on an average, stood two k/z z'

dmut-gars, or footmen,with black beards and mustachios

,and attired in the

var ious gay liveries of their masters, adap ted to theturban and Indian costume ; most of them w ere thedomestics of great people

,and exhibited in their looks

a good deal of th at pampered,self-satisfied importance

,

so often observable in our metropolitan servants here athome—the vulgar reflectionof their masters’ consequence,Many stood, their arms folded, with Roman dignity,gazing consequentially about themuand mentally makingtheir observations on their fellow-servants and the guests .Dinner over and the ladies wi thdrawn

,the gentlemen

closed up, and the conversation became more general .The Calcutta dinner parties are not usually scenes

of uproarious conviviality ; yet , as this was the anniversary of some great event in the history of the general

,

he seemed determined on i ts being celebrated wi thsomething approaching to a “

j ollification.

“ Fi ll yourglasses, gintlemen, sai d h e, as we closed up after the


I would earnestly advise al l my bro ther-grifiins, i fthey value their happiness, to live moderately and simplythough generously

,and to guard against the insidious

h abi t of drinking brandyp awney , to which a h O t climateoffers strong and peculiar temptations . These precautions observed

,and the mid-day sun avoided

,a fair ave

rage amount of health may be enj oyed for years .My fri end’s boat rowed ten or twelve oars, and was of

a kind a good deal in use in Calcutta . The front partwas decked

,and behind i t h ad a cabin

,with Veneti an

windows, occupying about h alf the length, and ri singseveral fee t above the gunwale inside there was a smalltable, and on each side lockers, which served for seats ;to the back of these again were some cots or dormitories.It differed from the up-country going craft in beingh eeled, and having on the whole far more of the E urop ean long-boat build .

As we shot along the creek for a few miles,each turn

gave us peeps of the rich and luxuriant scenery of thisp art of Bengal . Gardens of plantain

,mango, and

j ack-trees lined the banks,intermixed wi th clumps of

the tapering bamboo ; clusters of neat huts, with archedroofs, appeared half-buried beneath their umbrageousfoli age, through openings of whi ch , in the d im , chaquered ligh t, village girls, w i th water-pots on their heads,might be seen gliding along

,and imparting to the whole

scene an air of primeval and truly E astern simplici ty .

Here and there,in front of a hut

,mantled with i ts

c reeping gourd , would appear the milk-white cow orpetted calf, picketed by the nose, and munching hisbooscfi under the cool shade of the tamarind or plantain,whi lst kids and goats

,in various picturesque atti tudes,

sunned themselves on the ruined wall or prostrate tree .Sometimes we came on fishermen, in their d ing z

’

es, orcanoes

,with out-spread nets catching the much-prized

l u'

lsa ;Tor we looked on the dark peasantry in th e green

B oosa, chopped straw .

H i lsa, afish slight ly 1 esemb ling the salmon.


ri ce-fields, engaged beneath a fervid sunin their variousrural occupations .Occasionally we came suddenly upon a market, with

i ts congregated fleet of boats, and i ts busy, squabblingassemblage of villagers

, fish , grain, and vegetab le venders,&c. ; or a thannah, or police station, would break intoview, known by its picturesque burkundaz es loungingabout in front, armed w ith spears or tulwars, and theportly, bearded thannahdar, eud ésieab z

'

lle,smoking hi s

kuliafl under the proj ecting thatch of the entrance.The novelty of the scene, so truly un-English andOriental, delighted me, and my heart bounded with j oyfrom a feeling of vitali ty and freedom .

At length we began to approach those vast forests,

called the Sunderbundsfi" stretch ing for two or threehundred miles across the delta of the Ganges

,and

through a considerable p art of whi ch our route l ay.

The vi cinity of thi s wild tract was indicated by the

gradual termination of the cultivated country, and th ecommencement of the half-reclaimed lands on the borders,presenting to the view stumps of trees, patches of jungle,and some paddy fields, occasionally a few scattered huts,with their sickly inhabitants huddled around them .

The boatmen being somewhat exhausted,and the tide

on the turn, M r. Capsicum ordered them .to drop anchorin the stream not far from the shore, that they mightrefresh themselves . It was a curve in the river wherewe brought to

,deep and broad

,and remote from the

habitations of men . The lazy dark tide rolled slowly on,its movement barely indicated by a slight set in thecurrent, w ith here and there a few tiny curling Whirlpools,which seemed to my imagination to tell of the fearfuld epths and frightful monsters below . An Open spo t ofgreen sward approached the bank on one side, whi lstbeyond this

,on both banks, the huge trees of the sombre

forest hung darkling over the S tygian stream—here

S oondur Bun i . e. the beautiful wood.


emerging into light,as from a realm of dolorous shade

which migh t have daunted Rinaldo himself.How my thoughts now flew back

,awakened by the

contrast, to the flow ery meads and crystal streams ofmerry England My companion now ordered chairsand his hooka to be taken to the roof of the boat

,and

there,with a teapoy and tumblers between us, w e seated

ourselves at our ease,a bearer with a l arge chattah

,or

umbrella, shi elding us from the noontide rays of a powerful sun . A few fain t airs

,wafting the chirp and pipe of

unknown birds, came fanning from the woods, which ,with the monotonous bubble of M r. Augustus

’

s hooka,produced a tranquil and soporific effect upon me .In the little p atch of grass meadow I h ave mentioned,

which lay nearly opposi te to us, two or three miserablestunted white cattle were feeding, one of tb em considerably nearer the margin than the others . Whilst lookingtowards them

,I thought I discerned something dark

slowly emerging fi om the water where th e muddy shelving shore dipped into it. I kept my eye steadi ly fix edupon the obj ect, which evidently moved and presented tomy view the resemblance of two large foot-balls , at theend of a rough log of wood . I directed my companion

’

s

attention to it, at the same time asking him what i t was.

“ There,yonder,

”

said I,

“ j ust beyond the tuft ofreeds . S ee ! see ! i t moves .

”

Oh, I perceive the rascal, said he ;“ i t

’

s a hugealligator

,making a point at th at poor beast of a cow ;

but I’

ll spoil his sport . Beam h Band oolo Zaouj uld ee!

bring up the rifle quickly .

”

Ere gun,however, could be brough t, the monster, as

i f anticipating our intentions,suddenly rushed from his

concealment,with a rapid and wriggling motion, and in

an instant had the unsuspecting cow by the nose .The poor brute struggled

,her tail crooked with agony,

her two fore-feet stuck out,and bellowing most lusti ly,

whilst the alligator backed rapidly towards the water,dragging the cow along with him .


number of small barbed harpoons into him , to the headsof which (whence the shafts are made to detach easily)stout cords are fastened, and thus they secure his body ;to prevent his doing mischi ef with hi s j aws

,they present

a stick , and when he seizes i t with a snap , they belaya cord round those formidable instrument of destruotion .

After the crew had refreshed, we pursued our voyage,

plunging into the dreary solitude,intersected by a l aby

rinth of creeks and rivers ; on each side arose a wal l offorest, with a thick undergrowth of the most luxuri antvegetation, springing from the fat alluvi al soil .The silence of death was around, broken only at

intervals by the distant crow of the J ungle-fowl,the cry

of the deer,or the blowing of a porpoise, and the mea

sured dash of our oars , as we swep t along, sometimeson the surface of a broad river, with bright green treeson each side

,and black-faced monkeys chattering in

the branches at others,in some lateral creek, where

the boughs almost brushed our deck .

There i s something solemnly impressive in such ascene, which seems truly to speak in maj estic tones ofthe power and greatness of the Creator . Such a scenein the howling wilderness c arries the imagination backto that primeval period when man was not on this earth,when shipless seas broke on voiceless shores, and the

mammoth and the mastodonroamed undi sturbed amongsti ts si lent forests and lonely retreats.O ccasionally a Mugh or Arracanese boat, of pecul i ar

construction,with i ts broad-faced crew and b anks of

oars, laden with bees’

wax,ivory, &c.

,glided by, or a

raft, heavily laden with piles of wood or charcoal for theCalcutta market

,sw ep t past us

,a momentary relief to

the death-like loneliness of the place : the wood theycarry is cut and collected by a parti cular class of men,who pursue their peri lous trade in these j ungles .Sometimes

,too

,the continuity of the forest was

broken by a cleared patch,and piles of timber ready

ME MOIRS O F A GRIFFIN . 139

for l ading ; or the but of one those religi ous devoteesor fakeers, whose austerity acquires for them the respectof the ignorant and superstiti ous boatmen

,whom

,by

their charms and incantations,they profess to insure

from assaults of the alligator and the tiger . Boatmen,

however, a nd even fakeers, are continual ly carried off ;but as superstition always counts the hits

,and never

reckons the misses, a few favourable predi ctions sets al lto rights again .

At one of these fakeer stations, we made a hal t, anda more wretched locality for a man to take up his abodein imagination can scarcely picture. A small spo t ofabout h alf a quarter of an acre, was cleared from theforest, and in the centre of i t was a fragile hut of thatchand bamboo , whi ch a puff of wind might have blownaway a tapering bamboo

,wi th a small red pennon, rose

above i t, and a little clay durgah for prayer adj oined, toindi cate the sacred calling of the lonely occupant.As we brought to, the fakeer came down to the boat ,

and was most respectfully received by the crew . He wasan aged man , w i thered up like a potsherd , and smearedwith dust and ashes his long

,grizzled

,and matted beard

swep t his breast, and. a tiger skin was thrown over hisshoulders ; he held a long stick in one hand, on whichhe supported his bent

,decrepid form

,whilst in the other

he carried a dri ed gourd-shell,or calibash , to receive the

contributions of the boatmen .

Here was a Trappist of the E ast, submi tting to everyd anger and privation from motives somewhat similar tothose which actuate the ascetic order al l the world over—motives which we canno t but respect

,however mistaken

we may deem them .

Bidding adieu to this recluse of the woods, we oncemore pursued our course to the eastward, and after nearlya day

’

s rowing, changed i t to the north , follow ing theline of one of the many- rivers wh ich

,spreading out as

they approach the sea in various lateral'

d irections in theS underbunds, form that intri cate maze .


In a little time, the forest became less dense, and afew miles more brought us again into the cleared andcultivated country . Our eyes once more rested withpleasure upon the green ri ce-fields, the patch of sugarcane

,the cluster of coco-nuts, and the busy haunts of

men .

Well,M r. Gernon

,said Augustus , “ I suppose you

are no t sorry to be nearly at th e end of your voyage .No

,I repli ed th ough I h ave been greatly inter

ested by the wild scene through which we passed . Buthow far are we now from the Junglesoor factory

“Not far,said my friend ;

“ please God we’

ll supat my house to-nigh t. There

,look ! said h e ; do

you see yonder white building, and the thick cluster oftrees

;overhanging it. at the turn of the river ?

“ I do .

”

Well,that

’

s one of my out-factories ; there I’

ve

ordered some of my people to be in waiting with horses,or an elephant

,to take us on to my shop , which i s about

six miles inland .

An elephant I ej acul ated,as I mentally rubbed my

hands .The boatman plied their oars w i th redoubled. vigour

,

thei r cheerful songs and shouts bespeaking th at buoyancyof heart which an approach to “ home ever inspiresamongst all mankind .

We now neared the whi te building, which proved tob e a small temple

,crowning a little ghaut or fligh t of

steps , running down to the water’

s edge , backed by something like an old ruined fort or factory

,overshaded by

masses of foli age of the b anyan and peepul trees, growing out of fissures of the walls .O n the crest of the gh aut stood an elephant capari

soned with hi s bright red j / wul and lwwda/fi fanninghimself with the branch of a tree hard by him were acouple of horses

,saddled

,and held by their syces or

grooms,each of whom bore a hog-spear ; whilst near and

*Jhoul, housings houdah, seat.


settled,which are you for, a gallop , or a ride on the

elephant take your choice .Oh the elephant,

”

sai d I , by all means . I havenever ridden on one, and long to be on th at noblefellow,

who looks like a moving mountain .

Then ,” said my kind-hearted host

,let us mount.

I see they h ave put the guns in the howdah , and we mayh ave a sho t at someth ing as we go along. I must give youa lesson in shooting off an elephant, which i s no easymatter to a young h and . Here, kautfiee laou bring the

Another dig and another startl ing blast, and the leviathan was alongside of us.

“Bath ! bui lt ? said the driver, and down knelt the

docile beast to receive us.

The coolie, or attendant, now applied the ladder, to hisside Augustus ascended

,and I followed him . Here,

then,was one of my O riental day-dreams realiz ed, and I

fairly boxed up on the elephant and castle .

’Tis a fine thing to be mounted on a gallant charger,

to Spurn the sod , and , catching al l his fire, to feel yourself “ every inch

”

a hero ; or to dash away in a braveship over the blue b illows wi th a spanking breeze

,as

free as the winds th at propel you but I doubt if eventhey can impart such sensations as you experience whentowering aloft on the back of an elephant

,nine feet high,

moving,with maj esti c and stately stride

,through palmy

scenes of orient beauty,you find yourself raised far

above the humble pedestri an,and taking in the whole

country as wi th an eagle glance .We now started at a good, swinging pace, followed by

the horses,whilst sundry burkundaz es and peons, with

spears and staves, tro tted on nimbly before, clearing theway of the boys, cows, village p ari ar dogs, and idlers.

Thus we wound through the vi llage,and soon entered on

the open country,which for the most part was perfectly

flat,and bounded by villages and topes of mango trees .

Here and there the land rose a l i ttle, forming a sort of


rough pastures, on which herds of the black slouchingbuffaloes were feeding, mingled wi th small white Bengalee cows and bullocks , their bells tinkling, and tended byherdsmen enveloped in blanket sort of hoods

,with long

sti cks over their shoulders .We had no t proceeded far on the plain, when a horse

man appeared in the distance, approachi ng as at a handgallop .

Halloo ! sai d Augustus , here comes my neighbourand brother planter, Mons . De la Chasse, as funny, butas good a fellow as ever breathed . I h0pe you have atolerable command of countenance, for you

'

ll require itwhen you hear our fri end

’

s Engli sh .

By this time Mons . De la Chasse was sufficiently nearfor me to di stinguish the Gaul in every lineament. He

was a long and gaunt man, with the face of a m’

eux

mousguetaz’

re, wore a white solah hat, with a vast amplitude of brim

,a white j acket, and long mili tary boots .

His horse was a large hatchet-faced animal,of a cream

co l our, with a sw ish tail, whi ch, however, bore him alongover bush and j ungle in capital style. As he approachedbrandishing a hog-spear

,he rather brought to my mind

the picture of a Spanish b ull ~figh ter.

“ Velcome ! velcome ! goot friend ; glad to see youback,

”

said he, ridi ng up, and waving hi s hand as hewheeled hi s horse about You look ver well by Jhobs .

Thankyee, thankyee, Monsieur all’

s righ t wi th me,

but what have you been doing in this p art of theworld

Oh, de old vay . Ve have had de jodge down , andone of his amis

,abote some cochery affairs had him

out for a day after de hogue killed two,tree—one old

boar givefi ne sport—ver fine near kill us though, byJhob s ; ha ! ha—but who that w id you, Capsicome ?

Oh a young friend of my father’

s come to see howwe carry on the war down here . Let me introduce h imto you—Gernon, Mons . De la Chasse, &c.

Appi see you amongst us, S are .—By de vay, I not


tell a-you I have had°

noder kick ope with dat Bobberygunge talookdar : d —m fellow, his bulloke spoil twentybeegah my plant. I shall him have ope to de jodge, byJhob s—h e i s a—a —a (casting about for a sui table expression

,and setting his teeth) a frightful shackass .

This moved my ri sibles , in Spi te of a gentle pokefrom Augustus

’

s elbow , and a reproving look compoundedof gravi ty and laugh ter. Fortunately, at this j uncture,a dismal yell broke on our ears

,and we perceived ah ead

of us, slinking across the plain, two animals somewhatlarger than foxes .What are they ? I asked .

Oh ! a couple of j ackals said my companion .

1Vould you like to see a runI eagerly expressed my assent.De la Chasse, said M r. Augustus

,take a gal lop

after those J ackals our friend here wants to see a hunt .Oh ! ay, ve

’

ll stir dem ope,said the light-hearted

Frenchman,who

,like his countrymen in general

,seemed

ready for any thing that promised exci tement . Chaar

a’akhootac/zoorda let loose the dogs, let loose ) heshouted

,and in a momen t the greyhounds were slipped .

“ Hark aw ay ! shouted Augustus ; the Gaul gavethe View halloo , and after the j ackals darted the beautiful animals their bodies undulating like serpents as theyemulously strove to pass each other. The small dogsfollow ed in full cry, and my matur , or master of thehounds

,not to be outdone

,and j ustly anxious for the

reputation of his charges, drew the cords of the bulldog and Teazer, lustily cheering them on.

After killing the j ackals, whi ch was soon effected, weregained the road, and in half an hour reached theJunglesoor factory. The residence was a square building of one story, surrounded by a terrace and coveredverandah on one side was a large garden , filled withorange and other trees. Further back were groves ofbamboo , mango, &c., intermingled with buildings, vats,stables


dour,the weather for th e season (the beginning of O c

tober) was breezy and cool, and all things seemed towear a propitious aspect , and to promise a delightfulday’s sport . In a short time

,De l a Chasse arrived

, ac

companied by a square,tight-built l i ttle man,

namedTupper, wh o had recently (as is not unfrequent in India )changed his berth of mate of a country ship for that ofan Indigo planter

’

s assi stant .An abundan t breakfast duly despatched , there was a

buckling of spurs,a slinging of brandy -bottles

,an

examination of hog-spears,and other prelimmary move

ments for the foray . Outside,too

,was a great muster of

Augustus’

s retainers,coolies or factory men

,real “ blue

demons,”

in almost Paradisai c costume,with long sti cks

,

or Zatees, over their shoulders , wherewi th to beat thej ungles .Augustusnow vaulted on his Arab

,a beautiful creature

,

with a h igh reputation, as I was told, as a hog-hunter

(horses in India enj oy the sport as much as theirmasters) , and wi th his spear in hand gave the signal ford eparture . O ut marched the whole cavalcade, I mountedon a sturdy li ttle hill pony, called a tangan, as hardmouthed and headstrong a li ttle devil , as I afterwardsd i scovered to my cost, as ever tumbled a gri ffin.

E ach of us hunters was armed with a spear , whilstsp are ones were carried by the syces . The spear usedin this sport

,by the way

,i s a very formidable weapon .

The shaft i s about seven feet long , the head an elongated heart , or rather leaf-shape, as keen as a razor ,and to aid i ts murderous effec t, the butt-end is loade dwith about a h alf-pound of lead .

We now wound along , bending our course for thebanks of a river

,where wild hogs and other game were

sai d to abound . Having crossed the plain,we found

ourselves amongst mango groves and woodland, interspersed with scattered huts and small villages , and Ibecame , by some accident, separated a good distancefrom my companions .


In passing the edge of a top e , or mango grove, anadventure happened

,which

,though somewhat derogatory

to my di gnity in i ts results , my integrity as a histori anobliges me to relate . A pause in the narrative may

,

however, be expedient, in order to give me the requisi tedegree of composure .

CHAPTE R XIV.

I N passing the grove mentioned in the last chap ter, bythe edge of a fosse

,or ditch , overgrown with bushes ,

and not far from some miserable huts, I thought I hearda rustling, and reining up my tangan and listen ing, Icould distingui sh the deep bass of a grunter

,with th e

running treble of sundry little pigs . My heart wen t pi ta-pat ; here, thought I , i s a glorious discovery I shallb e the first to rouse the grizz ly monster from hi s lair

,

and launch a spear at him . I wished,however

,to be

sure, and l i stened again—’

twas a palpable grunt .Yoicks ! tally-ho shouted I

,waving my hat

,as a

signal for my fri ends to come up and share in theanticip ated sport .Roused by my voice

,and a stone cast into the ditch

by my syce,an unclean beast of l arge dimensions

,black

and mangy,i ssued therefrom

,and

,rather leisurely

,I

thought, for a wild boar, j ogged across the open space,followed by a trib e of young ones . Now then

,Frank

Gernon, I mentally exclaimed, gird up the loins of thyresolution

,and prepare for d esperate deeds .

Thus internally soliloquizing, I slacked my rein , pu tspurs to my tangan, and, spear in hand, rode furiouslyat him . La Mancha’s knight did not charge hi swindmill more vali antly. I pushed him hard

, but hekept ahead

,dodging, joltering , and grunting, and for the

life of me I could not place myself in a position to giveh im the coup d e g race. At length, by vigorously urging

L 2


my beast, I found myself alongside ; my arm was raisedthe gli ttering Javelin poised wi th as direful a presage asthat of one of Homer

’

s heroes ; already in imaginationmy burnished point had searched out the seat of l ife

,

and I saw the crimson tide disti lling from the wound Irose to deal the mighty stroke

,when snap went the

stirrup-leather,away flew my spear, and I , and not the

hog,incontinently bi t the dus t. Yes

,down I came, a

thundering thump .

Painful was the revulsi on of feeling—I never fel tmore foolish in my life . Away went pig and tanganand so they might

,for augh t I cared—whilst I , l ike a

dying gladi ator, lay prone on the earth, applying vigorousfriction to my shoulder . In a few seconds

,my com

panions rode up, to my confusion, convulsed withl aughter

,which they vainly strove to repress .

You’

re no t hurt,I hope, Gernon ? said my host,

endeavouring to compose his features into a look ofcommiseration ( a dead failure,

No , not much, said I , wri thing with p ain ; nothingto speak of. It was that confounded rotten stirrup ; butI should not have cared , had I speared the hog .

”

Upon this, there was another volcano of l aughter. Ifelt annoyed

,and begged to know

,fiercely, what they

found so amusing in a friend’

s nearly breaking his neck .

Oh,my good ami

,

”

exclaimed the Frenchman,you

most pardonnez—but ha! ha! ha! you ave hunt thevillage pig, ha! ha! ha! and not the vil d hogue . Oh

,

mon Dieu , j e vais mourir—oh oh“ Yes,

”

added Augustus,oh ! oh ! oh ! you really

must excuse us, Gernon, h e ! h e ! he ! for laughing ali ttle at your griffinish mistake indeed, you have beenchasing a villager but you are not the first that hasmade such a blunder. Come, he continued, here

’

syour steed ; mount once more, and we

’

11 show you somereal sport . I see you are game to the backbone, andwill prove a staunch hog-hunter .I was mortified at my blunder, but thi s p iece of

150 ME MOIRS O F A GRIFFIN.

legged,in an old tapestry, or playing pitch and toss wi th

a score of dogs in one of Snyder’s noble pictures . But’twas all up with him now ; his li ttle blood-shot eyeswere half-closed , h is tongue was out, and all his sinewsand muscles were stiffened in death .

“ ’

Tis ver fine sai d the Frenchman, looking up, after con templating him for some minutes inmute deligh t

,and pulling: out his gory spear, buried two

feet deep in the shoulder but I give h im dat last pokever well

,eh by Jhobs

Yes,you certainly finished him in very sportsman

like style,Monsieur,

”

replied Augustus “ I thought hewould have charged me as I delivered my spear, and amglad he did not

,for with those tusks of his, gentlemen,

he would h ave been an ugly customer, and have left hi smark on my gallant Rustum and me . But come

, we

will try up the river again .

The legs of the boar were now tied,a pole was thrust

through them,th e huge animal was hoisted on the

shoulders of four of the coolies, and borne along wi th us.

The beaters now once more advanced , latees waved,

the shouts were renewed, and in a few minutes there wasa cry of some animal, when a creature of the deer kind,of a slate colour and clumsy shape

,bolted from the

reeds, and with an awkward up and down sort of movement

,made across the plain .

“ A hog~ deer, shouted M r. Tupper ; and with armsand legs working like amannikin

’

s, spurred after him,the

rest of p arty following.

The hog-deer have little speed or bottom,so he was

soon overtaken and killed—casting up a piteous look, asAugustus

,who on this occasion gave the Frenchman the

go-b y, drove hi s keen spear into him .

After the death of the deer,we all by acclamation

voted an adj ournment to a neighbouring shady tree ;there dismounting

,and throwing ourselves on the ground

,

we commenced a vigorous attack on the cold meat andpale ale, chatting, j oking, laughing, and masti cating, at

MEMO IRS or A GRIFFIN . 151

one and the same time,The game was laid out before

us, in order that we migh t feast our eyes on that, at thesame time that w e gratified our palates .The lunch fairly discussed

,I was surprised to see a

servan t hand a small hookha, or kulz'

an,covered w i th

silver chains, and emitting a delicious odour, to Augustus .Upon my honour, I mentally exclaimed , you indigogentlemen seem to have a good noti on of comfort . M r.

Augustus wiped the mouth -piece with his thumb andfinger, put i t between his lips , and emitting an elaboratewhiff of a yard and a half long , slowly leaned his backagainst the trunk of the tree , half-closed his eyes, andexhibited the most perfect appearance of unalloyedsublunary bliss I have ever beheld . After half an hour

’

srest, and partaking of the kulian,

whi ch was generouslypassed round b y our friend, we arose, and prepared for arenewal of the campaign .

In this we were as successful as in the commencemen tof the day. Three more small hogs were killed on oneof which , after sundry abortive attempts, and one or twoimmine

’

nt ri sks of unshipment,I fleshed my maiden

spear—afeat marked by such uncommonskill and uniqueadroitness on my part, that I made i t the leading subj ectof conversation for a month afterwards .Our sport over

,and man and beast fairly exhausted

,

we now bent our course towards home , wendi ng our wayover the plain we had crossed in the morning . We fourcavaliers, our spears over our shoulders, mounted on ours teeds of various statures

,led the way then came

straggling attendants,lagging heavily along and lastly,

the goodly show of game, slung on poles,and borne on

the shoulders of coolies,brough t up the rear.

The cavalcade,the game

,the wild track of reeds, the

di stan t masses of wood topped with the coco-nut andbetel-palm

,all seen in the streaming light of the

setting sun struggling through the evening'

s haze , wouldhave made a hue subj ec t for that

'

prince of animalpainters

,Landseer.


A pleasant meal at my friend’

s house closed this myfirst day

’

s hog-hunting in India . I had become amightyhunter at once , and stood two inches higher whenever thefeats I had wi tnessed crossed my mind ; the feeling ofexultation would have been unalloyed indeed, but for theadventure of that cursed village-pig.

The supper was capital,and, ye powers that preside

over gastronomy, how we d id eat ! It i s a fortunatedispensation of Providence th at all men are not hoghunters, or frequent famine would be the inevitableresult. Augustus was pleasant , the Frenchman loquacions, M r. Tupper had much to say

,and the hogs were

,

at a moderate computation,slain over again half a dozen

times at least before supper was ended .

Amonst other subj ects incidentally discussed,was that

of several dacoi ties, or gang-robberies, l ately committedin the neighbourhood, attended with great atroci ties .This part of Bengal had long been famous

,or rather

infamous, for these plunderers, who, led on by theirchiefs, the Robin Hoods of India, were a terror to thecountry. The bands move about, at times levying contributions from the inhabitants, in numbers often suffici

ently great to enable them to defy the police , which is,or was

,very inefficient—their leaders are great despera

does .“ I hear

,said Augustus , that R amsunker has been

plundering in this neighbourhood, and swears he wi ll p ayme a visi t one of these days ; but let him come, and we

’

llendeavour to give him a warn reception .

”

De la Chasse and Tupper said they should like nothing better th an a skirmish with the bandi tti, andbegged that Augustus would send off an express forthem if the aforesaid R amsunker should ever make hisappearance at the Junglesoor Factory .

Augustus promised to do so, saying that he shouldbe equally ready to attend their summons if they werefirst selected for plunder ; in short, a treaty of alliance,offensive and defensive

,was then and there struck after


which the high contracting parties,becoming full of

Bacchus, sung several songs, disputed , quarrelled, becamemaudlin

,wept

,swore everlasting friendship, and retired

to rest.Besides that one to which the permanent residence

was attached, M r. Augustus had several out-l aying factories, which he visited from time to time, to superintendthe manufacture of his indigo at all of these he hadlittle bungalows, or “temporary abodes, where we titledand passed th e heat of the day .

We were one morning at the factory on the river,where I have stated th at we first landed , quietly smokingin the little turret

,or summer-house

,when a great hub

bub below, and the noi se of people running, saluted oure ars . M r. Augustu s rose hasti ly

,and ran out to see

what was the matter,I following him , at the same time

despatching a servant to ascertain the cause of the uproar . He soon returned , and stated that a youth hadj ust been carri ed off from the ghaut by an alligator

,

which had snapped him up whils t in the act of washinghis cloth or d icotee.

Exci ted by this accoun t,we posted off to the ghaut,

where a clamorous crow d was collec ted,many of them

looking and pointing towards the centre of the river.O n inquiry, we learnt that the alligator was there, playing wi th his victim ; and, casting our eyes to the middleof the stream, there, sure enough, in the centre of therapid current

,his long Jagged tai l rising above and occa

sionally lashing the surface, was the monster, tossing and.sh aking the lifeless body of the poor black boy, andamusing himself as a cat does wi th a mouse before sh emakes a meal of it.M r . Augustus sent immediately to the bungalow for

his rifle, which soon made i ts appearance : i t was a pieceo f th e kind called commonly in India a bone-breaker

,

and carrying a weighty b all , eight or ten to the pound .

Having loaded it,he took a deliberate aim at the alli

tor.

1 54 MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN.

I wai ted in breathless suspense for the resul t—bangwent the rifle, and the ball dashed up the spray wi thin afoot of the creature’s head

,and then went ricochetting

over the expanse of water.A close shave,

”

said Augustus but come, we’

ll tryhim again .

Once more the rifle was loaded and fired, but on thisoccasion w i th more success

,a dull

,lumpish sound telling

that the ball had taken effec t. It requires,how ever

,

ordinari ly,many balls to kill an alligator but down

sunk the head of the monster,his long serrated tail way

ing in air as he descended to the depths of the river,like a sinking warrior flourishing his broken brand .

This fellow,i t appeared

,had long been carrying on

his depredati on s in this part of the river, and the boatmen and fish ermen determined at last to make an attemp tto capture him this they nex t day effected in the usualway by dragging the bottom with b ooks .We slept at the out-factory of Gurrialpore that nigh t,

and were agreeably surprised the next morning , shortlyafter breakfast, by a man running in to inform us thatthe alligator had been cap tured

,and that the muchwas,

or fishermen, w ere then in the act of towing h im on

shore . We immediately proceeded to the river’

s brink,

and there,sure enough

,we observed two dingies, or

canoes, fast approaching, and lashed closely side byside .As they came near

,w e perceived that the alligator was

between them,well secured, his head above the water

and proj ec ting in front between the prows,and his long

ta il lay ing in the wake behind ; in his huge j aws was astout sti ck, well belayed wi th a cord above and belowin short, bridled and bi tted for any gentleman who , liketh e adventurous M r. Waterton, might have felt disposedto take a ride upon him ,

whi ch, not being particul ar, and

pregerring a horse myself, I certainly felt no inclination

to o .

O u the boats touching the shore,we stepped onboard,

156 MEMO IRS O F A GRIFFIN.

of the Indian rivers, which I h ave known to scuttl e offto the water minus their heads, when cut off by theenraged p iscator, as the shortest way of getting thehooks out of their mouths.A s I watched the dying throes of the alligator

,after

so long resi sting all attempts to extinguish hi s vitalspark , under every circumstance of advantage to his assailants, I could not help feeling in all i ts length andbreadth the utter state of impotency to whi ch the lordof the creation—man—would b e reduced

,how ever well

supplied wi th weapons,offens ive and defensive, when

once fairly grappled by him in his native element .Humiliating thoughtA post mortem examin ation of the alligator showed

us M r. Augustus’

s ball firmly wedged into the thi ck p artof the tail ; and an analysi s of the contents of thestomach brought to ligh t two legs

,half an arm , and

sundry rings and silver b angles,which had once adorned

the slender limbs of some hapless village maiden .

Having now gratified our curiosi ty, and performed ourduty to the public

,th e inquest broke up—verdi ct , of

course, justifiab le allz

'

gatr icia’e”— and we returned

home .One morning

,a few days after this—the most eventful,

as will be seen in the sequel , which had occurred to mesince I had trodden Indian ground—w e were seated attable after breakfast

,my host drowsily smoking his hook

ha and conning the Calcutta paper,I con cocting a de

spatch for home, when suddenly a confused and distan tnoise was heard , including the rapid beat of a d ooyd oog z

'

e,or small native drum .

My host laid down his paper and listened ; for amoment i t died away

,then again rose on the w ind there

was a hubbub of voices- of flying footsteps— and lastly,

of one or two dropping shots .By heavens ! there

’

s something wrong, said Augustus , half-ri sing from his chair, and still in tently listening.Quonlrz/e ? who wai ts


The words were scarcely uttered,when, wild wi th alarm ,

a servant rushed in, followed by one or two others , exclaiming

,in almost frantic tones

,Sahib sahib dac/m

dacica

My host turned pale,started from his chair

,and

rapidly interrogated the affrighted men, who answered

him all clamorously at once,and with the most animated

gesticul ations .In the name of all that

’

s good, said I , thunderstruck at the scene

,what on earth i s the matter ?

Matter ! my dear fellow ,the dacoi ts—that

’

s all therobbers are upon us ; we must defend our lives ; there i snot a momen t to be lost.

”

The plot now began to thicken : three burkundauz esrushed in

,with a confirmation of the intelligence that

R amsunker and his gang were close at hand, bent onfulfilling their recent threats, and that they had alreadyplundered two or three neighbouring hamlets .No t an instant was wasted ; the doors were hanged to

and bolted in a tri c e , bars laid across, and some heavybox es piled up against them . Guns

,pistols

,and hog

spears were put in requisi tion the burkundauz es loadedtheir matchlocks and blew their matches

,and the whole of

us immediately ascended to the flat roof,determined to

defend the fortress.Having gained this position , the next poin t was to

reconnoi tre the force of the enemy,and the posture of

affairs outside .A low parapet wall

,some three feet h igh , encompassed

the flat roof of the planter’

s mansion ; and over this last ,sheltering as much of our persons as possible

,we cast

our eyes in the direction of the mass of bamboo andother foli age, amongst which the indigo vats and otherout-buildings were principally situated .

All there was ominously still,except that

,every now

and then,a factory coolie, l ike a startled hare, would

burst forth from his concealment, and wi th looks of terror,fly across the opposi te ri ce-field s.


The vat-houses, &c. , had now, i t was clear, been abandoned by all the planter

’

s followers, and Were in possession of the dacoi ts, who were probably rifiing them .

O f th is we had speedy confirmation, by perceiving three

or four dark,undersized figures, almost naked, and. armed

wi th swords and spears, creep cautiously out and castfurtive glances towards the house .There they are,

”said Augustus : those are some of

the rascals preparing, no doub t, to make an assaul t uponus. Well

,w e must give them a warm reception . I wish

w ith all my heart we had De la Chasse with us ; but howto communicate wi th him and the distant police stati on

,

surrounded as we are,I know not . However

,he added ,

“h e cannot fail sooner or later, to learn our si tuationfrom some of the runaways . Here

, G ernon,said h e,

handing me a double gun,“ here i s something for you ;

now do your best,like a valian t knight, and w in your

spurs ."

Here, thought I , i s a pretty adventure ! I shall inevitab ly be figuring in a return of killed and wounded,without ever having J oined a regimen t . Call you thi s ap arty of pleasure

,i’

faith I had soliloquiz ed to this extent

,when a li ttle white cloud of smoke puffed i tself

forth from the brightly verdant screen formed by thedrooping bamboo hedge

,followed by the whistling of a

matchlock ball wi thin a few feet of my pericranium .

To tell the truth, this music had no p articular charmsfor me though , when honour pricked me on

,I could

listen to i t awhile, buoyed up by Vi sions of glory,

promotion,prize-money, and so for th, as well as

another .O uhearing the whine of this ragged missile I instino

tively bobbed my head a shade lower than the parape twall : this little involuntary working of the conservative

principle , however, was speedily succeeded by an energeti cdisplay of its opposite

,as by an active rebound up I started ,

presented my gun, and dropped shots—one, two—qui ckas though t

,into the spo t from which the cloud of smoke


selves, or they will scale the roof, massacre us all in a

trice,and then plunder the place . What i s your idea of

the matter, Gernon“ Oh , said I ,

“I

’

m for fighting as l ong as there’s a

fair chance ; but i f there’

s none,as I

’

ve no w i sh toadorn a tale by figuring in a massacre, I vote wi th youthat w e give in, provided they grant us an honourablecapitulation .

”

As we were thus speaking,a servant exclaimed that a

man was advancing from the wood where the dacoi ts werecarrying on their operations : he was unarmed, and madea sign that he had something to communicate . One ofour intelligent burkundauz es hailed and asked him whathe wanted .

The reply,as explained to me, was, that he had a

message from hi s sirdar, or chief, the redoubtable Ramsunker, to deliver to the sahib .

He was told to advance with confidence, that he wouldbe admitted to deliver his message

,and that no harm

would be done to him . O n the promise of safe-conduct,the herald came forward, nowise distrustful, and was

forthwith admitted .

He was a middle-sized but wiry and athleti c fellow ,

intensely black , half-naked , with matted hair, small ,l oosely-twisted turban

,and a broad untanned leathern bel t

over his shoulder.Being asked b y M r. Augustus what he had to say or

propose, he replied , that he was sent by hi s sirdar tostate that he was now making ladders, w i th which hewould in a few minutes scale the house at all points, andput every soul to death

,unless hi s terms were at once

complied with : these were the immediate payment ofR s. 300, upon which he would at once draw off h is

band , and give no further molestation to any one .The indigo planter

,find ing further resistance would be

useless, and knowing that these dacoits, on the principleof honour amongst rogues, were men of their word ,fulfilling every engagement, whether to rob and murder,


or ab stain,w ith scrupulous fidelity, determined onacced ingto their terms ; this h e intimated to the li ttle plenipo,who thereat made a salaam

,grinned horribly a ghastly

smile,and returned to report to his superior the success

of his mission .

To be brief,there was an immediate stir in the grove,

and presently the chief,as sinister-looking a vi llain as I

ever beheld , came forward to about the middle of theopen space fronting the house , accompanied by a bodyof some ten or tw elve of his follow ers .M r. Augustus gave h im a bag containing the R s . 300,

for which he made an obeisance, and then wheelingabout

,he rej oined his band , who, after several loud

shouts, moved off wi th their plunder, and without cfl’

er

ing us any further annoyance .Well, said M r. Augustus, shaking me by the hand ,

how do you find yourself, after being stormed andbesieged — apretty piece of business this , eh ? Youli ttle thought of wi tnessing such an adventure

,I

’

ll besworn

,when you came down to sport at the Junglesoor

Factory . This was not the shooting you expected .

”

“ I di d not, indeed, said I ;“ however, I think we

h ave saved our honour, and our bodies are certainlyin tact, albei t you have lost your rupees .

”

That'

s true , said my fri end but I should still liketo give the rascal s a trouncing and recover the sp oh

'

a

opima, and w i ll try it, if De la Chasse and the policemake their appearance before they have go t a long startof us .

This was scarcely said when we heard the sound ofhorses

’

hoo fs, and in a momentDe l a Chasse and Tupper,

in breathless haste,came spurring up to the house . The

former threw himself from the saddle,and in a momen t

had us by the h ands .My goot Capsicome ! my dear young friend ! are

you all a— l ive ? all well ? Dat’

s goot ; thank God

thank God ! I hear you vas b eseig’

ed by dis raskal

dacoi t ; so Tupper and me, ve moun t our’

orse,ride 011

M

162 MEMOIR S or A GRIFFIN .

to the tannah for de police— dey vill b e here directly,

tannahdar and all,little and pig. But come

,tell me

m aiment all vat was happen—vere are dey - wh o havedey kill —vat have dey rob -vere are dey goneCome tell i t all

,for I am dam z

'

mpashant to know all .”

It i s soon told , Monsieur, said Augustus . Ramsunker and 300 of hi s men attacked us ; we stood oneassault, capi tulated and p aid R s. 300, black-mail , to getout of the scrape .Black male ! vat d e devil

’

s black male —you mean,

I suppose, you p ay R s. 300 to de black males— I no tsuppose you pay to de black females .Augustus laughed

,and explained .

Vell , vell, you did your best ; de grand Napoleonhimself vas ob leege to yi eld to numbers ; 300 to ten i stoo moch . But,

”

added h e, I do hope y e may vet catchdis d acoit

,get de money back

,and give dem goot trash

ing beside dere 1s 100 of de poli ce, and twenty or thirtymore of us— vat say you ?Just what I was proposing to our young friend here,

as you came up ; undoubtedly, le t us try ; but there’

sno time to be lost, if w e w ould wish to succeed

,for

they have already a considerable start of us.

The proposal,indeed

, was generally relished thehorses were ordered to be saddled ; each of 11s armedhimself in some way or other, and in a few minutesmore

,the portly thannahdar or head of the poli ce

,as

burly a fellow as S hakspeare 8 fat knigh t, mounted on arat of a pony , made hi s appearance at the head of anumerous body

,some 80 or 100, of the neighbouring

poli ce,drawn from several stations .

M r. Augustus intimated to the thannah dar his determination to pursue the dacoits

,so soon as his followers

had slightly refreshed themselves,of which

,after the di s

tance they had come,they evidently stood in need . This

the thannahdar in timated to his men some of whombegan to smoke in l ittl e knots or groups, squatting ontheir hams others drank water, which they drew in their


l ittle i rregular cutting and slashing, we followed , andwi th difficulty saved ourselves by the speed of our cattle .

I will leave the reader to imagine the rage of M r.

Augustus, the vehement p estes and sacres of the Gaul,

and the downrigh t straigh tforw ard abuse of the stifi‘

l i ttle mate , el i ci ted by this shameful misbehaviour of ourt1 00ps the censures, reports, &c. , arising out of it ; andthe uneasiness felt, after we had go t back to the factory,of

'

another vi si t from the exasperated R amsunker. For

tunately however , he came not ; and from fugi tives andothers we learn that

,satisfied with putting us to th e rout

,

he had made off with his gang and booty to a distantp art of the coun try.

All this , of course, formed matter for animated discussion and commentary amongst us four at the factory,De la Chasse and his friend remaining for a couple ofdays to afford us their countenance and protection . Wehad a very merry time of i t—shooting and boating inthe day

,and a rubber of whist or a song at nigh t.*

CHAPTE R XV .

I HAD now been about tw elve days a visitor w ith myhospitable friend , the indigo plan ter—a period, as thereader h as seen , fertile in events—when I began tothink of returning, and a letter or two which I receivedserved to hasten my departure . One was from an oldfriend and schoolfellow

,Tom R attleton, a good deal my

senior,and whom I had no t seen or heard of for four or

five years . It ran thus :

M Y DE AR FR AN K,

It was by the merest ch ance that I heard from a Captai n M arpeet, who has been staying here, in his wayup, of

The attack on the factory is an actual occurrence, and took place asdescribed inall the essential particulars . The relator has been on the

spot,and had the details from the principal actor in the scene.


your arrival in India . How I mi ssed seeing your wellknown name in the papers or General Orders I reallycannot imagine . M arpeet says, you only w ant a littlemore of his tui tion to become a nep lus ultra—in short,I must not tell h alf the handsome things he has said of

you but in all I could not fail to recognize, clearly anddistinctly, my old class-mate and companion of the thirdform .

How I long, my dear fellow, to have a good d i sh ofchat with you about school

-days,and all the fun and

frolic we have had together in times past Do yourecollec t lame Tomkins, the pieman , and your unsuccessfulattempt to prove to him

,synthetically and dialecti cally

,

that long credi t and great gains were preferable,as a

mercan tile principle,to small profits and quick returns,

to which logic many an empty pocket sent forth, doubtless , a confirmatory echo ? But oh , that stony-heartedman Orpheus himself could not h ave moved him—noeloquence, no wiles—nough t but the ip sa pecunia, themoney’s chink .

My regiment has lately arrived here from Berhampore .I have been for some time out of my grit

‘

finage, andthough but a “ j olly ensign

,

’’ like yourself, and not verydeep ln the mysteries of the E m d ee Bolee, have latelyo b tained the command of a company— we being ratherdeficient in old hands . This works me a good deal

, but

I like my new powers,and if I could but understand the

fellow s , I should get on famously .

I have a small bungalow near the river,and am com

fortab le enough , all things considered, so you must comeand spend a month with me at least . Why not get to doduty with our regiment at once it can be easily managed . I h0pe youenJoy life amongst the True Blues

’

in the M ofussil . I have had some experi ence of themmyself, and a kinder hearted and more hospi table set offellows

,taking them m a body, does not ex i st .

Give me a few lines to say on what day I may expec t

youhere, and I will ride out and meet you ( if youdawk

MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN .

i t) and have breakfast ready. S o for the present adieu-d a revo zr .

Your friend and school-fellow,

T. R ATTLE TO N .

P.S .—By-the-bye, do you recollect your changing old

Thwackem’

s digestive pill , daily deposi ted at the cornerof his desk, for a pea rolled in flour (or a bolus of yourownmanufacture) , and how unsuspectingly the old boywould gulp i t down , preparatory to locking up his caneand descend ing from his awful elevation ? Many a goodl augh I

’

ve had at this p iece of f r ig1orznerz’

e of yours.

This letter delighted me,and M r. Capsi cum

,to whom

I read i t,seemed also a good deal amused . I fel t an

i ntense longing to see my friend Tom again, and in fac tfel l in to such a fidgetty and excited state, that I couldtake an interest in nothing. O ld Time, instead of flying,seemed to me all of a sudden to have lost the power oflocomotion altogether. R attleton and I were the Castorand Pollux of the school

,sworn brothers—backers and

abettors of each other in all figh ts, scrapes, and difficulties

,of which we generally had quantum sufi . on hand .

School was truly a black p assage in my li fe, in whichthe happiness was to the misery in about the proportionof honest Jack Falstafi

'

s bread to his quantum of Sherri ssack .

“Ala

,c/n

'

en d e Zivre, inne mef em p lus répand re d e

p leurs! exclaimed the enraged Scipio of Le Sage, as

he wreaked his vengeance on the maud ite g rammaire,the passive instrument of all his sufferings .I can too well understand the feelings which actuated,

on this occasion,the little son of the hones t usher of S t.

Hermandad,for never to this day do I enter a school

room,or my eye light on a grammar

,dictionary, or other

buff-coloured associate of the long-past days of mypupilage

,but a host of painful and degrading recollec

tions rush on my mind,of the hundred thwackings, con

168 MEMO IRS 011 A GRIFFIN.

possessing intui tive knowledge, you see, one can’t b e

expected to know all things un ti l told of them .

Augustus admitted that there was reason in the oh

servation .

Well,i t was decided that I was to proceed to Bar

rackpore on the second night after the day on whichthis conversation took place ; so I w rote at once to myfri end Tom

,to tell him that he might expect me im

med i ately .

The l ast day of my stay , De la Chasse and hisfi dusAc/zates dined w i th us, and w e all appeared depressedat the prospect of separation

,for our short acquain tance

h ad already ripened into a friendly feeling.

Like towns in an i ll-governed country,where

,owing

to the absence of sound laws and honest administratorsof them , every one i s afrai d of hi s neighbour, hearts ,in artificial England , are too often petty fortresses, inwhich pride

,caution

,and suspicion are in cessantly on

the watch to guard agains t surprise,and to break down

these b arri ers and effect a lodgment i s frequently thework of years ; but in India, amongst Anglo-Indians,th e case is reversed ; the gates are thrown wide Open,and intimacies and cordial ( though , pterhaps, not alwaysl asting ) feelings are generally the resul t of a few day

’sacquaintance .

B o th extremes are bad , as all extremes are ; but i t i sindubitably far pleasanter to live amongst those

, the app 1oaches to whose confidence and kindness are supinely

,

rather th an too ri gorously guarded ; the one system ,

’ti s

my beli ef, shuts out more good than the o ther admits ofev1l .

S a/z i b, Ira da/ctz'

ar leyr , said a servant entering th eapartment some time after dark, on the day of which Iam speaking .

Gernon,

”

observed M r. Augustus, the best offriends must part : your p alankeen is ready outside, andonly wai ts your orders .

"

I arose, walked to the terrace, and there was my equip

MEMOIRS 011 A GRIFFIN . 169

age . The sentimental S t. Pierre, with all the accuracyof a Frenchman

,thus describes the equipage of hi s

truth-seeking doctor,who

,if as subj ect to b lundering as

himself, might have been a long time in discovering thatvaluable treasure .The Company

'

s superintenden t of Calcutta furnishedthe doctor with everything necessary for his j ourney to

Juggernauth , consi sting of a p alankeen , the curtains ofwhich w ere of crimson silk

,w rough t with gold ; two

relays,of four each ,

‘

of stout coolies or bearers ; twocommon porters ; a water-bearer ; a juglet-bearer, forh is refreshment ; a pipe-bearer ; an umbrella-bearer, toshade h im from the sun ; a nuslogee or torch-bearer,for the night a wood-cutter two cooks two camels andtheir leaders , to carry his provisions and luggage twopioneers , to announce his approach four sepoys, mountedupon Persi an horses

,to escort him ; and a standard

bearer, bearing the arms of England !I,being no philosopher

,and bound on a less import

ant mission , could pretend to none of this splendour ;my turn-out consisted of a palankeen, eight or ten cahars

or bearers (for in my time , whatever may have been thecase in the doctor

’

s , i t was not usual to'

carry the palankeens upon coolies) a banghy

,or two baskets, con tain

ing my immediate necessaries, slung on an elasti cbamboo ; and a mussaulchee, or link -bearer ; the torchcarried by the latter being formed of rags rol led aboutan iron spindle, and looking something like a bandagedstump .

I though t there would have been no end to the handshaking and last adieus , with the repeated injunctionsnot to forget that I should alw ays find a knife and forkand a hearty welcome at the Junglesoor Factory,At last, however, I broke away

,as the fox-hunters

say, I believe, and threw myself into the palankeen thebearers, wi th a groan, lifted their burthen on theirshoulders j the mussaulchee poured oil on hi s link fromi ts long-spouted receptacle, whi ch, flaring up, brought


out the whole scene, house, trees, and congregated groupon the terrace , with a wild and spectral glare . I wavedmy hand, half

-closed the doors of my palankeen,threw

myself back — the curtain had dropped on act thesecond of my griffinage, and I was soon on my j ourneyto B arrackpore .O u we went

,through the murky gloom of nigh t, dis

pelled for fifty yards around by the glare of the mussaulsometimes on a fair and beaten track

,at others

,splashing

through wet rice-fields, or traversing with infinite cautionsome causeway or embankment

,as peri lous as the bridge

of Al S irat.The monotonous Urree-lzy -lae-fiaw chant of the bearers

soon sent me off into a doz e, from which I was onlyaroused occasionally by blundering attemp ts to put meand my palankeen on board a boat

,in crossing some lazy

river, on which occasions, the torch-light, the red glareon the water, and the dark figures on board , would bringold Charon and his S tygi an ferry to my imagination orthe di sturbance arose when they set me down, not overgently, on the skirts of some vill age or thannah, preparatory to a change of bearers .At the end of the first stage, one of my active bipeds

opened the doors of my palankeen,popped in his greasy

frontisp iece, reeking with oi l and perspiration , and, witha grin, said something I did no t understand, but in whichthe word bucksfiis/z (presents) was remarkably distinct.

Go to the d —l, exclaimed I ; boxes,no sumflzcfile

boxes .My friend now tried i t on another tack

,and

,placing

the finger of one hand in the palm of the other, with aknowing look, repeated the word rupee .Oh, thought I , are you there ? I see your drift ; but,

know ing they had already been paid,I abruptly closed

the doors and the conversation at once, with thundering“Jow

”

T a phrase I had picked up (withou ti . e.

, understand .

f Jow -j ehanam aperemptory injunctionto proceed to a place whichi t i s not usual to mention to ears poli te.

”


hearty burst of honest nature—fresh as the morning airwe were breathing .

The warmth of our greeting a li ttle subsided , I resumed my recumbent posi ti on in the palankeen, and onwent the bearers

, jolting along at a rattling pace, havingapparently caugh t all our animati on , with rev ived hopesof R attleton trotted alongside, talkingincessantly

,and in a short time the military cantonment

of Barrackpore broke in vi ew .

We crossed the parade,where all was life and anima

ti on soldiers drilling, recruits on one leg doing. thegoose-step , drums beating, dri ll-sergeants shouting, andbugles sounding.

We passed through the hues, thronged with sepoys intheir graceful undress

,and w ere soon at my friend’s

bungalow,in which

,after dismi ssing my bearers, I

entered to take up my quarters . R attleton gave meanother shake, as if he had been working a pump handleand cordially bidding me welcome .A certain wri ter

, who laid the scene of a romance inIndia, when not qui te so w ell known as at present ,d escrib es our hero

,I have been told

,as sai ling in a

bungalow on the broad and placid surface of the Ganges ,which, by a sligh t geographi cal error, i s made to traversethe vale of Kashmere. Now

,though I give my reader

credi t for knowing something more of the matter thanthi s, a slight descrip tion of a bungalow may not be unaccep table , nevertheless .The houses o ccupied by E uropeans in India are of

two descrip tions ; the pucka house—lravz’

lee,or [co ttee

—and the bungalow. The former of bri ck or s tone, i sflat roofed, and, excepting in Calcutta, almost always ofone story ; i . e . the rooms are all on the ground floor,though considerab ly raised from the ground they havegreen Veneti an windows

,and are encomp assed , wholly

or parti ally,by a terrace

,covered with cement, shaded

by a verandah or awning.

The bungalow p artakes more of the co ttage, or, I


should perhaps rather say,the barn , being , in ninet een

cases out of twenty,covered with a ponderous thatch

,

requiring frequent renewal,the operations of the white

ants and periodical rains soon converting i t into a cakeof mud , through which pactolean rills frequently find

their way to the interior, meandering down the walls .The bungalow i s invari ably of one story

,and con

structed on the principl e of a single or double-poledtent

,or routie, according to the size ; the resemblance

to tents occupied by o ffi cers i s indeed striking,though

which is the original and whi ch the copy I cannot say .

I t has usually double walls,though in some cases that

which answers to the outer i s li ttle more than a range ofpillars .The space between, called the verandah, i s occupied

by master’

s palankeen , camp equipage, (Sac. there,too

,

the b earers,or cakars , l ie and snore during the sultry

hours,till roused from their slumbers by a kick from

master’

s foot there, too, the pati en t d irgee, or snip, si tscross-legged

,h ard at work on the beebee sahib

’

s balldress , or the sahib

’

s nether garments,which he holds on

with his great toe and the next one to i t w i th all theskill of the Order Quad rumcma,

to the astonishment ofthe grifiinish beholder.Talk of our light fantasti c toes

,

" indeed what arethey to a black fellow

’

s,adorned

,too

,with a fine silver

great-toe-ring to boot ! M an'

s revenons . The ceilings,instead of lath and plaster, are composed of coarse cottoncloth, whi tewashed, and tied with numerous tags orstrings to a framework of bamboo running round theapartment

,and concealed from view by the proj ecting

corni ce ; betw een this and the rafters i s a dark void,the airy hal l of th e rats and bandicoots , who sometimes hold their soire

’

es dansamtes and conversaz z’

one ini t, careering over the clo th w i th lively and varied squeakings . Purdahs, ch icks (blinds ) , and j i mmp s ( framesof straw and bamboo) , and sometimes glass doors, serveto close the entrances ; the latter are, indeed, pretty

1 74 MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN .

common, excep t at very uncivilized and out-of—the—waystat1ons.

Furni ture harbours rep ti les and i s ex pensw e to carryabout ofiicers

’

bungalows are, consequently, but slenderlysupplied with moveables . A couch , one or two tables,half-a-dozen chairs , a book-shelf, a settrz

'

nj z’

e ( orcotton carpet

,with blue and whi te stripes, and which also

serves for the tent whenmarching) , and a few wall-shades&c. , generally cons ti tute the adornments of an Indiano fficer

’

s residence .In the abodes of civilians, whose lots are cast in

pleasanter places,and who lead less erratic lives than the

mi li tary,and have far longer purses , th ings approximate

more nearly to the English standard of luxury and comfort .At mili tary station s, puckha fl at-roofed houses are

rare,and generally occupied by th e general commanding

,

or some other exal ted functionary in the receip t of largeallowances .My friend

’

s bungalow was a regular Indian sub’s abode,

and fell wofully below my standard of comfort,though

in his opinion, formed on more experi enced vi ews ofIndian life , i t was quite as it should b e.

In the first place,the grand salon

,or salle dz mem

g er , contained one square camp-table, two chairs anda half, a footstool of basket work , in the shap e of adevi l (the thing pl ayed with two sticks, I mean) ; h ishog-spear and gun occupied one corner, and hard byhung suspended his library ; not qui te so large as theBodleian , to b e sure, but con taining, nevertheless, somevery good cut-and-come-again sort of books .First, there was a family Gibbon

,properly docked

and curtailed , a p resent from his grandmother ; Gi lchri st

’

s Grammar Williamson’

s Vad e M ecum, andTaplin

’

s Farriery ; the Tom Ku/eaneefi‘ Mother Glass

’

sCookery, and a pond erous tome, which I at first tookfor a Family Bible wi th explanatory notes

,bu t whi ch

Tales of aParrot.


legs on the table , bade me do the same, and make myselfquite at home . The pipeman brough t the h ookha

,and

the bearer pulled the punka , and we proceeded to discussa plan of proceeding for the morning .

In the first place, we must call on the colonel thismorning, said R attleton; he i s a very good sort ofman, takes matters easily, and patronizes me especially,but i s rather tenacious of having proper respect paid tohim ; th en, after that, I

’

l l in troduce you to the general,and some of the other officers of the corp s and station

,

and in the evening we’

11 drive you out in the park, whereyou 11 see all the beauty and fashion of

o

Barrackpore.

By the way , Frank there are some devili sh n i ce spins justnow here

,which, perhaps , you

’

11 not be sorry to hear.Certainly not, I replied ; but I hope

,Tom

,you

’

renot thinking of committing matrimony j ust yet, areouyWhy, I don

'

t exactly know, said Tom ; there’

s avery sweet li ttle girl here, who has made a sad hole in myheart such a pair of eyes as she has—oh ! Frank— but

you’

ll see . I h ave made a hundred resolutions againstb eing spliced

,but one glance of those death-dealing orbs

sends them all to shivers in a minute . I am like amoth

flitting about a candle, and shall go plump in to the mischief at last

,I see that very plainly . Perhaps, though,

Frank,as you are no t a bad - looking fellow

,you may

keep down or divert a li ttle of the fire of that terribleartillery .

Why, I don’

t know , sai d I , l aughing ; i t i s not soeasy to create a diversion in these cases, and not overs afe b esides, who knows, if successful, but that the fireof your love may be changed into th at of j ealousy

,and

that youmay be Opening another sort of battery on me !But seriously, I can feel for you, Tom, for already mypoor heart h as been amazingly riddled by a charmingyoung lady w e left at M adras, and more recently by awidow . Tonmy life, I begin to think the Orien tals dowisely in looking up their women .


considerab le lengtb , to whi ch my fri end replied , Uc/ea,

and Bhote though i t was pretty clear. fromhis perplexed look and embarrassed air, that he d id no tunderstand one-third of it. In poin t of fac t

,the afore

said statemen t was evidently one which involved someknotty point for “ the pro tector of the poor

'

s ” decision,

and requiring something more tangible in the way ofcomment than the aforesaid Bho te lc/zoob .

My fri end , however, dismissed him wi th a Peeclzee

fiookum,

" “ orders deferred , a sort of“ call again to

morrow phrase , much used in India, when time is sough tto be gained . Another salute from th e subadar

,another

formidable crack of the fusee from Loll S ing,and both

w heeled on their heel s,and ex eunt .

“Buggy low

j uld ee (“ bring quick the gig

“Jal kreech d o

( and“ give me my sash and shouted Rat

tleton.

A sort of whiskey, which my fri end sported on his

ensign’

s p ay,was soon at th e door . He was duly

equipped,and in we both stepped, and drove off to th e

bungalow of Colonel Lollsaug, the commandant o f myfri end

’

s regiment, which I shal l call the 95th N .I .,or

Z ub berdust Bullumteers .

We were ushered in, and found the colonel smokinghis hookha

,with a sneaker of cold tea b efore him , a

sort of prolongati on of the breakfas t almost universal inIndia . He rose as w e entered

,and shook hands with

Tom,who presented me as h is friend recently arrived .

The colonel was a gaunt figure of six feet two , orthereabouts, with sal low sunken cheeks, and two littl etufts of gri zzled whisker near the corner of his mouthhe was dressed in a no t uncommon morning dishabille

,

consisting simply of a shirt and red camlet j acket,a

pair of immense paj ammas, or native trousers, ti edwith a silken string at the waist

,whilst an immense pai r

01 spangled Indian slippers, with curly toes as long asrams’ horns

,adorned hi s feet ; an embroidered velvet

“ Wel l. 1‘“ Very well.

11111101118 011 A (11111 1 111. 179

scull-cap was perched on the top of his head : andaltogether he was as striking a specimen of the epicenegender of the Ori entalized European as I had as yetseen .

The colonel asked me if I had recently arrived how

I liked India ? what the folks were doing at home ? i fS t. Paul

’

s stood where i t used to do ? and sundry otherquestions of a like nature, to all o f which I gave suitable replie s .Battleton told him we were old schoolfellows, and that

I had a strong desire to do duty wi th his corps for amonth

,if i t could be 80 arranged . The colonel kindly

undertook to manage th ematter, and told Tom to introduceme to the adj utant, who would have me instructed in thedri ll, and manual and platoon , with some other youngmen then with the regiment.The colonel now asked my friend if he had been at

the grand ball an evening or two before, and how i twent off ?Tom said he had , and they had a very pleasant even

ing, second supper, lots of dancing, and some goodsongs, and that there were strong suspicions that th egeneral was a little ou.

Well ,”

said the colonel ; that’

s all righ t, but was

she thereWho, sir asked my friend , very innocently.

Come , come, that won’

t do,M r. S lybo ots said the

colonel ;“ I know all about it ; ha ! ha ! ha!

’

Pon my honour, sir,”

said Battleton, blushing, youare too enigmati cal for me .Capital, said the colonel , who was in a bantering

humour ; why, Prattle tells me i t'

s all settled,li cense

written for, and that you are going to cart b erele immediately—ha! ha ! ha!I saw , of course , that all this h ad reference to the

spinster with the fine eyes . Though my friend affectedA strong phrase for driving a lady out inabuggy in India

,looked

uponas symptomatic of anapproaching matrimonial crisis


ignorance of the matter,he was evidently flattered by

being made the subj ect of such an agreeable on d ét .

Whilst thi s was go ing ou,I was startled and surprised

by seeing the head of a very pretty Indian lady,w i th

j e t black locks, l arge gazelle eyes, and a huge gold ringin her nose

,pop from behind the purdab , or curtain, and

the owner of whi ch exclaimed, at the top of a very shrillvoice , Urree Dfiyya

The colonel said something rather sharply.To vau

,petti shly exclaimed the apparition

,and the

head and a pretty b e-ringed hand were withdrawn,and

immediately from an opposite door an elderly blackduenna

,with a pair of W1 inkled trousers , orpaj ,

ammas

and half-concealed by a cow l like sort of muslin robe,

marched in a stately manner, sans ce’

rémom’

e, her ankletbells j ingling , right across the apartment, with a hugemetal b ox under her arm,

whi ch I afterwards learn t wasa betel-box

,and which i t seems was the article which the

colonel'

s sul tana stood in need of.Egad

,thinks I to myself, they order th ings in the

E ast rather d ifferently from what they do in the West .After a li ttl e more conversation w e took our leave,

having prev iously received an invitation to dine the nextevening wi th th e quaint commandant .

CHAPTE R XVI .

THE space to whi ch I have limi ted myself in theseMemoirs w il l no t admit a minute account of all I saw ,

heard,said

,and did

,during my month

'

s soj ourn atB arrackpore i t will, therefore, suffice i f I touch lightlyona few prominent ch aracters and occurrences i llustrativeof Indian life

,during this period of my griflinage.

Tom,said I

,as we left the colonel

'

s bungalow,do

tell me wh o that fine dark damsel was, with the ring in hernose

,of whom w e had a glimpse from behind the curtain .

O h nurse, bring the Paunb ox .


i s,if you would govern men effectually, i t must be

through the medium of their peculiar feelings and prej udices, and not by taking the bull by the horns .As he said this

,we drove into a pretty extensive com

pound , and drew up before a large puckha-house, with abevy of servants and orderlies in the verandah ; thi s wasthe residence of the general commanding

,to whom I was

presented in due form .

Tom nex t took me to the adj utant’

s, and the rest ofhis brother-o fficers, of whom he promised to give mesome account on a future occasion,

‘and then we wenthome to tifi‘in.

In the evening w e had a deligh tful ride in the Governor-General’s p ark

,and as we wheeled along through

i ts mazy rounds,saw all the beau monde of Barrackpore

,

as also my friend’

s innamorata,with whom we had some

very lively conversation,as we drove slowly alongside

the barouche in which,w i th a party, she was taking the

ai r.

Having visited the menagerie in the park, stirred upthe tigers

,and plagued the monkeys a li ttle, we drove to

Colonel Lollsaug’

s .

Th e colonel gave us an excellen t dinner, wine admirably cooled, foaming p ale ale—India

’s prime luxuryand some capital home-fed mutton . There were five orsix officers present

,and the conversation

,which was

unrestrained and agreeable, turned upon old recollectionsof former stati ons ; on the prospect of p romotion andwar or rather war and promotion, for such is their naturalorder ; and gave me a greater insight into what waspassing in the Indian mili tary world than I had yetenjoyed .

Being young, and a griffin, I thought i t was better forme to listen than to be prominently loquacious and itwas fortunate that I adop ted thi s conclusion, for, amongstother topics

,the extreme forwardness and assurance of

the youth of the present of that day—was discussed wi th much animation .

11111101118 011 A GRIFFIN . 183

It’

s too true,I fear, said the colonel ; th ey don

’

tconduct themselves as the young lads did in my juveniledays . I remember, said he, with the regretful air of thelaudator temp or z

’

s actz’

,when I was a young man and

first came out, we thought i t necessary and proper toexhibi t some li ttle d eference and respect to our seniors inage and rank—some reserve and d iffidence in our opinions,not, how ever, inconsistent with a due degree of firmnessand self-respect ; but

.

now,forsooth, your beard less

younker, fresh from school, claps you on the shoulder,and i s hail-fellow-well-met with you in an instant, exh ib iting all the confidence of a man of fifty

—quitedesti tute of that master-charm of modesty, which , inman or woman, takes so powerful a hold on the affec tionsand good will .

”

These observations, though perhaps true in th emselves,I though t a li ttle ill-timed

,and not wholly consisten t

with his own proceedings . However, they were cord i allyassented to by some of the “ old hands present, particularly by one i ll-dressed, causti c, and slovenly oldcaptain , named Langneb .

You’

re right,colonel

,qui te righ t

,sir they

’

re allmaj or-generals now, sir, at starting ; know everythingand care for nobody . There’s young Snapper, wh oJ oined us the other day—an idle

,dissipated young scamp ;

keeps four horses, gives champagne tiflins, and i s spending three times the amount of his p ay—hailed me onlyl ast night in the park by my surname

,sir—no prefix , by

George ! no handle, though I haven’

t spoken to him five

times—told me I had got a pretty beast there (meaningmy horse) , and asked me for the loan of my buggy tomorrow ! What do you think of that

,sir ? Never met

such a forward,self—sufii cient young fellow in all my

life but he’

s going to the dogs as fast as he can .

I am afrai d he i s, said another ;“ but there

’

s someallowance to be made for him . Thompson

, who knowshis family at home , tell s me he was brought up by adoating grandmother

,who spoilt him

,indulged him to

181 11111101118 011 A GRIFFIN .

the top of his bent, never contradicted—money ad li b itum— things all his own way : hence pride , selfishness,and an inordinate love of pleasure, the natural results .Never send your children to be brought up by grandmothers ; ow ing to their unbounded affection, whichpasses through the paren t as through a lens

,they

’

re sureto spoi l them .

A rubber of whist and a game of chess concluded theevening very pleasantly at the colonel

’

s . At parting , hetold me with great kindness that he h oped soon to seeme on parade, and that he had d esired the adj utant totake me in hand, and give me a little preliminary instruoti on .

The next day R attleton took me ano ther round ofv i si ts to some of the marri ed men of hi s acquaintance

,

many of whom seemed agreeable p eople,but possessed

of various degrees of refinement ; also to the houses oftwo or three widow l adies residing at the station

,all of

w hom had pretty daughters or nieces seeking that whichit was natural and proper they should seek, eligible p artners , youthful

“ John Andersons,wi th whom to j og up

the hill of life together.I t was abundantly clear

,and I soon discovered, that

Battleton’

s l i ttle affair of th e heart had got wind prettyextensively, for wherever w e went he had to run thegauntlet of banter and sly innuendo in one shape oranother. Like M r. Dangle, however, with his

“volun

teer fatigue and soli ci ted solici tations,he bore i t all

very ph11080ph ically.

Tom was a handsome fellow,and i t was well known

that he was to have the first vacant regimental staff appointment

,his aunt being marri ed to a first cousin of

the Governor-General’

s mili tary secretary’

s second w i fe’

sfirst husband . Under these circumstances, my friendranked as an eligible

,and the old ladies could not

forgive him altogether for passing over the more vali dclaims of their daughters and nieces ; and the daugh tersand nieces

,though they endeavoured to conceal their


have been considered a remarkably fine woman but asi t was, she exceeded the English standard of beauty bysome five or six stone .Fatness and good-humour are almost invari ably found

uni ted , but which i s the cause and which the effectwhether fat breeds good-nature or good-nature fat—i sone of those profound mysteries of nature which oldBurton might decide

,but for which I have in vain sought

a sati sfactory solution .

Mrs . Brownstout was qui ck, p enetrating, and possesseda l arge fund of that frankness and kindliness of heartwhich I h ave

,in th e course of my E astern experi ence,

almost invari ably found to characteriz e the ladies ofmixed blood in India .Society ful l oft

,by i ts folly

,Oppression

,and prej udice

,

begets the faults which i t affects to hate and despise ;and the fact of any classes being looked down upon ,w hich i s more or less the c ase as regards the half-casteor Eurasi an throughout Indi a ( though less so in Bengalthan in the sister presidencies ) , has a depressing tendency, which naturally places individual s of that description in a highly disadvantageous position

,deadening the

energies, and preventing that free and n atural play andexpansion of the mind and feelings which are everthe resul ts of knowing that we stand well with theworld .

In spite, how ever, of these sinister influences (havingthe same origin wi th those which actuate our Americanbrethren in their conduct to their coloured countrymen ,and w hich we so loudly condemn ) , I must hear myhumble testimony in favour of our Eurasian fellowsubj ects, who, far from combining the vi ces and defectso f both races, as has often been cruelly and flippantlydecl ared, seem ,

on the contrary,as far as my experience

goes, from g1iffinage upwards, to uni te with the gentleness , placab ili ty, and fideli ty of the native many of th esterling vi rtues of the European charac ter

,though cer

tainly l acking i ts strength and energy.

11111101118 011 A GRIFFIN . 187

But iron nerves,in which consists the secre t of Eng

li sh superiori ty, require regul ation as well as the weakand more deli cate organiz ations of the E ast for if theone tends to efl

'

eminacy, the other, under the' fancied

character of manliness,too often tends to ferocity, and

that one-sided freedom called tyranny. Call thi s al and of freedom where a man mayn’

t shoot his own nigger ! said Matthews

’

Yankee ; and a volume could no tbetter express that Iri sh reciproci ty of rights whichJohn and Jonathan are 80 prone to patronize .—But toreturn .

This engraftment will probably produce those permanent soci al

,moral

,and poli ti cal fruits

,which th ere

from neither European nor native singly could be ex

pected .

The English greyhound, taken to India, dies, or losesin time most of his energy and valuable qualities

,and

the produce decidedly degenerates ; but the cross wi ththe native dog of that species produces an animal inwhich is united the Indianized consti tution of the onew i th much of the speed and courage of the other .I am sorry to seek an illustration of my posi ti on

amongst the lower order of creation, but i t perhapsh olds good .

We found Mrs . Brownstout in the act of explainingsome mystery of dress to a d z

’

rg ee ( tailor) , a li ttleslender ungirdled shrimp

,standi ng

,scissors in hand

,

amidst a vast accumulation of muslin and ribbon .

One of the young ladies was penning ab illet, the otherpainting flowers.

“ How d’

ye do, R attleton, how d

’

ye do ? said theold l ady, as we entered, addressing my friend bluntly,who was evidently one of her “ boys .

” “ I can’

t getup to you, you see, so talk to the girls .The young ladies

,however

,arose

,and Tom intro

duced me to them .

O n taking my seat they asked me a few common-placequestions, such as how long I had been in India ? how

188 11111101118 011 A GR IFFIN .

I liked it ? i f I had lately arrived at B arrackpore and

so forth to all of whi ch I made sui table replies .This piece of formali ty over, the old lady and her

daughters, evidently impatient to unburthen themselves,Opened upon Tom instant” .

Well,R attleton

,said Mrs . B .

,dri ly

,what h ave you

been doing wi th yourself lately ? you have become aperfect stranger. H ave you broughtus any news whati s doing in can tonments ? who i s dead and who i sw ed

I know nothing of buryings or weddings, said Tomthey

’

re grave and melancholy subj ects,about which I do

not trouble myself.”

Well,indeed ! retorted Mrs . Brownstout ; I ad

mire that amazingly ; we all consider you one of th egreatest gossips of the station .

Perhaps,mamma

,said Miss Lucinda

,archly

, M r.

R attleton i s too much engaged w i th hi s own approaching nuptials to think much about those of other people .

”

Oh, that’

s true,said Mrs. B.

,w i th mock gravi ty ;

they say you are going to get married i s i t true,

R attleton

Oh,nonsense ! mere Barrackpore yup and scandal ;

who could have have told you th at ?Oh, we have had it from the very best authori ty .

Torn laughed .

Well,M r R attleton

,when is i t to take place asked

M iss Lucinda,dipping her brush in her p allet

,and

touching up her d rawing with all the nonc/zalcmceimaginable . “ I do so long to know ; and who are to bethe bridesmaids I hope Maria or I shall be admitted tothat honour.

”

Oh,yes

,when I ammarried, you shall be the brides

maid , certainly, the lady consenting ; but that event , Itake it, i s rather remote . What on earth should a subl ike me do with a wife

,who can hardly take care of him

selfMany a true word spoken in j est, M r. Tom, though t I .


brass spurs, which I though t he clanked rather ostentatiously.

With all this, however ( for the exquisite and thesold ier are not incompatible ) , Adjutant Wigwell wasevidently a zealous officer, proud of hi s regiment, anddevo ted to drill and duty ; thi s I had learnt, indeed, fromrecent observation and common report.We found him amidst a bevy of khote havildars (216 .

pay-sergeants ) , with the sergeant-maj or, havildar-maJ'

or

—deeply engaged in the very important matter of re

gulating the length of a pouoh-strap, the number ofholes it should have

,and the precise position of the

buckle , and trying the fit of the same on a stalwartgrenadier of some six feet two .The sergeant-maj or, a thick-set Englishman, little

more than half the l ength and twice the breadth of thegiganti c sepoy

,was in the act of adjusting it, with the

assistance of the havildar-maj or,the adj utant

’

s nativeright-hand in a sepoy regiment.Adjutant Wigwell received us kindly, shook me by the

hand, and begged us to be seated and amuse ourselvesti ll he had dismissed the business he was then attend ingto

,which would not detain him a moment . This being

over, he asked me if I had ever been drilled, and knewany thing of the manual and platoon, 810. to whichquestions I was constrained to reply in the negative .Well, said he, smiling, we must take you in hand

a little, and make a soldier of you . Sergeant-maj or,said he, addressing that sturdy li ttle func tionary, standing in the verandah .

S ir,said the sergeant

,touching his hat

,and slip

p ing ln.

Sergeant Gib lett,continued he, this young gentle

man , M r. Gernon, i s doing duty with us ; he will soonhave to attend all drills and p arades ; but, in themeantime, you must give h im a li ttle instruction inmarching, and the manual and platoon , with the otheryoung officers recently arrived to do duty.

MEMOIRS O F A GR IFFIN . 19 1

The sergeant again saluted,and said i t should be

atended to .

R attleton, said the adj utant, your m-eu fired badlv

yesterday ; how was th at ?Why

,I believe i t was my fault , said Tom ; I was

nervous,and th at confounded gunpowder

,the grains as

big as swan-shot, blowing in my face from the men’

spans

,made me more so ; however, I must summon my

force next time .“Do , my dear fellow , sai d the adjutan t the colonel

noticed it, I assure you, and desired me in a friendly wayjust to give you a h int .

”

He’s a noble fellow, said Tom , with warmth, and Ilove him I had rather have my cheeks excori ated

,and my

eyes damaged in future , than give h im cause of complaint .Well

,that

’

s all as i t should b e,”

saidWigwell. Rattleton, your fri end M r. Gernon had better fall in w i thyour company at parade ; i t may be pleasant for him ,

and

you, you know,added b e w i th a smi le

,can give him

the b enefit of your experience .The nex t day Tom took me to an unoccupied bunga

low,near the lines

,used for vari ous purposes

,in order

that I might have my first lesson in the manual andplatoon .

We found Sergeant Gib lett already there, and talkingto several cadets or ensigns

,who seemed much amused

,

and listening to h im attentively . And that,as near as

I can kal-ki-l ate,was when I first J1ned the army under

h is Excellency Lifttennant ~Gineral Lord Lake —was,

however,all we caught of th e yarn .

R attleton now in troduced me to my brother-aspirantsfor mili tary glory—beardless tyros

,wild as unbroken

colts,and all agog for fun and froli c

,in whatever sh ape

i t might present i tself.“ You

’

ve never had no instruction i n th e man 11 and

plytoon? I think you said , S i r ? said the sergeant to me,

touching his hat.You

’

re quite righ t I did say so .

192 11111101118 01' A GRIFFIN.

Well then,sir

,if you please

,as i t’s the first day

,

i t 11 be j ist as well for you to look on.

N ow, gin‘lemen

, sai d Sergeant-Maj or Gib lett,dis

mi ssing at once his countenance of colloqui al familiari ty,and assuming the wrinkled fron t of stern duty“ now

, gin’

lemen,i f you please—we

’

re a-losing of time,

and had better begin. I think you’re all here

,w i th the

hex ception of M r. Wildman, and he, I am given toonderstand , i s i ll—d isposed this morning .

At this speech one of the young hands in the squadwinked to hi s neighbour, as much as to say, Tw ig thesergeant —he exploded with laughter ; his next file gavehim a j erk or dig with his elbow—he lost his balance,tumbled against his neighbour

,and a general derange

ment of the ranks followed .

Come, gin

’

lemen, gin

’

lemen,said the sergeant, half

angry,this won

’

t do— thi s won’

t never do ; i f I em toteach you your man

’

l and plytoon, you must be steady

you must upon my life . Come, tention, said h e,

briskly squaring up, and throwing open his shoulders,

as i f de termined to proceed to business . “ Shoulder !up ! Order ! up ! O nfix bagganets ! That

’

s all righ t .Shoulder ! up i That won

’

t do,M r. Cob bold ; you must

catch her up sharper th an that. N ow ,please to look at

me, sir, taking the musket in hand, and doing the thingsecundum artem.

Another half-smothered laugh again disturbed thelittle sergeant

’

s self-complacency.

Oh thi s can’

t b e allow ed, gin

’

lemen. I’

ll give i t up—I ’

ll give i t up, I wi ll indeed . I’

ll report you all to theadjutant

,if this here larking goes o h

,I w il l .

”

This threat had a sedative effec t on the disorderly rankand file

,who now looked wonderfully demure

,though

w i th that mock and constrained gravi ty whi ch threateneda fresh outbreak on the nex t elocutionary attempt of th eself—importan t sergeant .Now

, gin’

lemen, you’

ll please to observe that, w henI says Shoulder —will you look this way, M r. Wild

194 MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN ;

Well,sergeant

,h ow did I do to-day

Why,sir

,said G ib lett

,i t’s not my wish to flatter

no gin’

leman but you h ave sartainly improved in yourmarchings.

“ And me,sergean t

,

” sai d another,how do I ge t

Why, sir, you 11 soon be all right, i f you p ays alittle more attention .

I sav, sergeant, what makes you call the musketsheWhy

,you know,

sir , the firelock among’

R 0peyarn*

sogers ( i t’

s different,of coorse

,among the S eapiesf )

alw’

s goes by the d enomy-nation of Brown Bess, and sowe calls i t she .

Oh, that’

s it,i s i t

,sergeant

Take a glass of grog,Gib lett

,after your fatigues

Thankye, sir, I don’

t care if I do .

Here, you bearer, black fellow,”

said th e donor,brandy ,

sh rub, pawney , serg eant, [co d o

”

(Le ,give

the sergean t some brandy-and-water) .

Sergeant Gib lett took the empty glass,extended h is

arm in one directi on to have i t filled , whilst he turnedhi s head in another ; bearer appli es h is teeth to thebrandy-bottle to get the cork out .

You were a-axing of me , sir, I think , about theccllyb rated battle of Laswarrie, in which we—that i s ,the ridg

'

ment I then belonged to—was present, underLifttennant-Gineral Lord Lake ; yes, that was prettynear the stiffest business we had . There was the battalions of the French gineral, M unseer Donothing (Daderneg) and very good troops they was, though not sogood as our S eapies. Hulloa he exclaimed, breakingoff in his story, and looking towards the tumbler, whi chthe bearer was busy in filling,

“ what’

s this here manabout -he

’

s a-givin me al l the bottle of brandy herecome, youmust put some of this back .

Europeans—thus pronounced by English soldiers.

S eapie, sepoy.


No,no—nonsense

,sergeant, said the liberal donor,

d rink it all—it won’

t hurt you.

This was just what Sergeant Gib lett wanted .

Well,thankye, sir ; but I

’

m afraid i t’

s over strong.

Gin’

lemen,here

’

s towards your very good healths .S o saying

, Gib lett drained off the dark potation—aregular north-wester -set down the empty glass, andtook his leave

,reserving his yarn for another time.

CHAPTE R XVII .

UNDE R the able tui tion of S ergeant Gib lett I became,in a few days

,sufficiently aproficient in th e mysteries of

marching, &c.,to allow of my falling in wi th Lieut .

R attleton’

s company, the l eft grenadiers,* and i t wasconsequently arrang ed, with th e concurrence of theadjutant, that I should make my debut on parade whennex t the battalion was out for exercise .O u the day previous to that event taking place, after

tiflin, a sepoy orderly brough t in the regimental andstation orders ; and Tom ,

after reading them,directed

my attention p articularly to a paragraph in the former,

which ran thus“ The regiment will parade for exercise to-morrow

morning, at a quarter after gun-fire furni shed with tenrounds of blank cartridge per man .

“ There ! my sub , said R attleton; to morrow youwill see a little servi ce, and smell gunpowder for thefirst time in your life .”

“ You’

re wrong there , said I ; you seem to haveforgotten my recent engagement wi th the Dacoi ts ; whysi r

,sai d I , affec ting to bristle up, though you do

command a company I h ave seen far more active servicethan you have. A siege—a pursuit—a rout—and a

In the native regiments there are two grenadier companies, inEumpeancorps only one.


retreat , are pretty well, I take it, for an ensign of twomonths

’

standing.

“ Ha l ha! Well , that’

s true,to be sure

,rej oined

my fri end , laughing you have , indeed , seen balls firedwith intent to do gri evous b odily h arm , and against thepeace of our sovereign lord the king— but I would sinkthe bolt, Frank, when I talked of my Junglesoor exploi ts .But

,seriously , youmust get all your military trappings

ready over-night , and I’

ll see that you are called in goodtime in the morning .

I retired to bed rather earlier than usual,oppressed

wi th a most unpleasantly alarmed s tate of feelings , something akin, probably , to that which a man experiences thenigh t before he i s hanged—or has to figh t a duel— or toencounter any other disagreeable novel ty . I wished theiniti atory process fairly over

,having somehow or other

allowed my anxiety to work on my imagination till Ipictured i t as something very formidable .I was aroused

,nex t morning

,b y R attleton

’

s singing,with reference to my dormant state

,I suppose

,Arise

,

arise ! Britannia’

s sons, arise, and by a rough shake ofthe shoulder.

“ Eh ! what —what’s th e matter ? said I , startingup, rubbing my eyes, and yawning .

Come,my sub , j ump up, j ump up parade parade !

the gun has fired .

”

Why, i t’

s pi tch dark , Tom, sai d I , stil l stretchingyou surely don

’

t go to parade in the middle of thenightTom assured me i t was the proper hour, and that i t

would soon be ligh t ; his bearer ran in at the samemoment, open-mouthed, to say the colonel was on horseback and had j ust ridden past .This announcement quickened my movements so I

reluctantly jumped out of my warm nest, and , after amiserable cold d abble

,dressed my self by the ligh t of a

candle,in the lantern dimly burning

,buckled on my

Andrea Ferrara,brushed up my hair

,took a peep in the


Zub b erdust Bullumteers, was a prodigiously smart officer,and always gal loped three times as fast as was mecessary.It was al l exci ting and strange to me, to find myself

thus , for the first time, about to participate in real military proceedings the actual game of soldiers, which Ihad hi therto only viewed

,with becoming awe

,d la d is

tance,or mimicked

,as a younker

,wi th penny drum and

falchion of tin . I was now about to realiz e one of mydreams of boyhood .

Time’

s misty veil h as long rested on those days, butstill I can recal the stirring interest I used to experiencewhen the recruiting-sergeant, on a fair-day , marchedthrough our village . I th ink I now behold him , withhis drawn sword and flying ribbons, proud as a turkeycock, with all the tag-rag and bobtail at hi s heels .What a glorious thing I thought i t was to b e a soldier

-a real,downright

,actual soldier— to wear a red coat

,

and figh t the French How I longed to be the fifer, oreven the little ducklegged drummer, as he strode vali antlythrough the mud

,with his long gai ters—very li ttle older

than myself,too

,and yet privileged to wear a real

sword ! Even the gawky smock -frock clowns, won bythe sergeant

’

s eloquence,touching the j oys of a soldier

’

sl ife, and forming a part of the tail of thi s flamingmeteor, came in for a share of my envy.

Ah I used mentally to exclaim,I

’

ll certainly bea soldier when I am a man Here

,then

,was th e reali

z ation a downright bond fi de regiment, real guns,real colonel

,and all

,and I a constituent portion of i t

in a word , an officer ! Thus, my gratification, in a grea tmeasure, overcame my uneasmess.

“ The battal ion will pass in review—march ! roaredthe colonel ; and away we went, as solemn as mutes at afuneral

,I behind my sepoys

,—sword drawn, stiff as the

l ittle man in the Lord Mayor’s carriage,right leg fore

most. It was an agitating moment,and I in a nervous

tremour, lest I should commit some blunder. We turned

MEMOIRS os A GRIFFIN . 199

the angle O f the square,—the band struck up,—and we

approached the saluting flag .

Rear rank, take open orderThe native officers made a long leg ; I did the same,

and found myself in front of the company,exposed to

general notice . To use a coarse , but expressive phrase,I was in a devil of a stew .

I kept a close eye on my captain,however

,thinking,

if I did as he did I could not be w rong .

We approached the colonel ; I saw he had his eyeupon me . Ye powers

,i f such there b e

,wh o preside over

steps short and long,and all o thers the deep mysteri es

of drill and parade, how much d id I then need youraid What mighty effort d id I make to keep step .

Within saluting distance , Tcm brough t up his sword ;I did the same ; but, looking forward , omitted to bringi t down again , till a cough from Tom ,

and an I see,S ah i b ( thus, sir,) from the half-laughing old subadar,caused me quickly to rectify the little omission .

Well, we formed close and open column , solid squares,and squares to receive cavalry

,and I know not what on

earth besides : there was a fearful drumming, firing, andcharging, and I was half-stupefied with the noise andrapid ravelling and unravelling

, emb odyings and dis

persings of this animated Chinese puzzle . However, Istuck close to the rear of my sepoys

,and bore up through

i t w onderfully well upon the whole .How astonished our descendants , some three or four

centuries hence,wil l b e, methinks, when man shal l have

become one consolidated mass of intellect and morality, asthey ponder over our ingenious modes of effecting wholesal eextermination ! “ Thus , they w i ll exclam , perhaps, asthey sigh over the aberrations and follies of their barbarous ancestors

,

“ ’twas thus they shot, slashed, andimpaled one another ; in this way they attacked anddefended ; and thus they invested the machinery of destruotion w i th all the pomp of music, the glitter of ornament,and the splendour of decoration .

200 mnmoms O F A GRIFFIN .

Some , however (distinguish ed hi stori ans and piousChristi ans too ) , strangely enough , take a very differen tview of the matter—maintaining that war is an inherentadjunct of the soci al state—that without i t w e should b ecome utterly enervated—sink into stagnation , and that,in short

,there can be no healthy action wi thout mutual

destructi on ! that i t exists at al l i s puzzling—but that,i t must ever be i s both mortifying and astounding . Be

tween , h owever, man viewed as a mere animal, and manconsidered as an intellectual and moral being , those whohope for perfection and those who despair of i t, —Qual<erendurance, that bears to be spat upon , and morbidh onour

,th at fires at a look ; —betw een , I say, all these

conflicting v iew s and practices ~—these cross lights andopposi te principles—many honest thinkers are sorelypuzzled to make up their minds on the subj ect—as towhether combativeness i s

,or i s not

,an inheren t element

of our nature,which must as necessari ly break out into a

conflict occasi onally,as the atmosphere brews the tem

peet z— or whether war be not destined to swellth e categoryof past follies , w i tchcraft, persecutions, astrology, andthe l ike and to thi s view I for one honestly incline.The press and steam

,right mental cul ture— proper

soci al organization and international cc-operation , mayd o w onders so long

,however , as war continues to be

the “ultima ratio regum the arbiter

,for want of a

better,of nati onal differences

,l et all honour be shown to

those who , in wield ing i ts pow ers, display , as Bri tishso ldiers do

,some of the noblest quali ti es of our nature ,

and who,though yielding to the necessi ty of shedding

blood , still love to temper courage with humani ty, and tomitigate i ts inheren t evil s .At length

,as all things must, our exercise came to an

end . The parade was dismissed . The officers, European and native

,fell out on dismissing their compani es

and advanced towards the commandant,who, as is cus

tomary, w aited in front to receive them .

Having saluted,and returned their swords to their

MEMOIRS O F A GR IB‘F IN . 201

scabbards , there was a general unbending, and the laughand th e j oke and th e new s went round .

Well , Rantipole, how does the grey carry youWhat did you give for him

Two hundred and fifty dibs rupees) wouldn’

ttake four hundred for him at thi s moment.Isn

’

t he a littl e puffed in that off fore-leg ? saidCaptain Syphax

,drily .

“ No, not that I know of.

Who was at Mrs . Roundabout’

s hop.

l ast nigh tthey say that old Crosslight, the brigade maj or, was morethan ord inari ly attentive to th e w idow .

Uh I didn’

t hear that —b y the way, Tom,when

does your affair come on?“ Nonsense how do I know ?Hear him hear him hear the Benedict !Rantipole

, I’

ll bet youfive gold mohurs,” said one of

the subs,that my old Toorkie beats your new purchase

once round the course,P. P.

”

Done but I don’

t sport gold mohurs ; say five

ch icks,

sis and it’

s a bet ; or I don’

t mind if I make i tten .

Chicks,Tom , said I , asid e ; i sn’t i t rather an odd

thing to bet fowls on a horse race ? th is i s another of

your Indian customs, I suppose, the reasonableness ofwhich is not apparen t at a glance .Tom stamped and laughed at my query

,l ike a mad

man,to the astonishment of all presen t .Here

,

”

said he,in a whisper

,and pulling me asid e

you great grifi'

you ! chicks are sequins, or chequins

abbrevi ated to chicks —not fowls,as you imagine : have

you never heard that beforeN ever, said I .

What’

s the j oke,Battleton

,what’s the j oke ? said

the colonel , good—humoured ly ; come,let

’

s have it,and

don’

t keep i t all to yourself.”

O h, nothing, si r, nothing parti cul ar, sir, said Tom ;Ch ick or sequin

,four rupees.

202 MEMO IR S O F A GRIFFIN .

nothing,but rather a griffinish query of my friend

Gernon’

s,which tickled me a little .

I am afraid you are rather too hard upon him, said,the colonel ;

“ remember,R attleton, I could tell a few

stori es of gri ffins i f I chose .”

Tom felt the rebuke,and had the laugh turned against

him .

The colonel now addressed me,and

,in a very kind

and encouraging manner,eulogized the way in which I

h ad acquitted myself on my first appearance in public ,adding

,I hope we shall send you to your regimen t up

the country quite a proficient, and calculated to reflect

credit on your instructors in the Z ub b erdust Bullumteers .As our worthy commandan t was anxious that I should

have an i nsight into the various branches of militaryduty

,the adjutant was desired to make me attend regi

mental courts-martial,invaliding committees, guard

mountings, &c., that I might see how these duties were

carried on.

The fi rst court-martial I attended was a regimen talone for the tri al of a black drummer for theft.Torn took me to the bungalow of the superintending

o fficer,who is always an European

,and whose duty i t i s

to conduct the proceedings which he records, assi sted bythe regimental i nterpreter

,who is also the quarter-master

of the regiment .Shortly after our arrival

,the native officers composing

the court made their appearance ; they were all large,portly men

,singular compounds of those moral anti

podes, th e European and the Asiatic .

Instead of the black'

military stock of the Englishofficer, they wore, over white cotton collars, necklaces ofgold

,formed of massive embossed beads

,each almost as

large as a small bean or nutmeg ; the overalls of themaj ori ty had been pulled up over the Batee, or wai stcloth, a Hindoo article of dress, containing almost clo thenough to serve for the envelopment of a mummy.


Persaud, one day, in my presence, asked your friendCaptainM arpeet, when lounging at my bungalow ,

whatwas the reason of it ? ‘We are puzzled

,S ahib

,

’ saidhe to make i t out ; they are ei ther of no value

,and

given to us,as baubles are to the BabaLayne ( children) ,

or else you gentlemen,who l ed us on, and shared in our

d angers and hardships,are very ill treated by the Kum

pany Ungruis Bahadour, in not being allowed to sharein the distinction, which we should pri ze much more ifour o fficers did share it.That seems like a poser

,said I .

It does , replied Tom ;“ ’

ti s plausible ; but i t j ustshows into what errors mere unassisted reason may leadus .

But. what said’M arpeet to i t ? he i s a righ t loyalman , and always sti cks up for the Honourable John .

’

Why,said Tom

,Captain M arpeet, being a b i t of a

l ogici an, proved syllogisti cally to old D avy Persaud thatall was as i t should be, thus It was well known ,

’

saidh e

,

‘ and an established fac t,that the Honourabl e Com

pany are liberal,generous and considerate masters that

they don’

t do illiberal,impo l i ti c, and inconsiderate things

e rg o ,’

and there M arpeet brough t his conclusions tobear in high style

,and regularly d emolish ed David Per

saud’

s po si tion ;‘

erg o, this must be all right, thoughappearances are the o ther way .

’

Your fri end, however,confessed to me afterw ards , that when at home he shouldhave been glad could he h ave sported a bi t of ribbon athis button hole

,or something of the sort

,j ust to show

that he had frozen p atrioti cally on the moun tains ofN epaul, and struck a blow for old England at Laswarrieand Putpergunge.

I was much surpri sed,and no t a li ttl e amused, to

observe th at each n ative o fficer was accompanied by anattendant

,generally some simple looking Coolie youth ,

carrying hi s chair,and odd three cornered pieces of fur

niture some of them were .“ Torn

,

” said I , sotto voce, there seems to be n o


w ant of chairmen at your meeting t but, seriously, tell me ,i s i t usual for the native officers to carry about theirchairs in this sort o f wayMy fri end answered that i t generally was

,and that

not only native,but European officers did the like

,sub

al terns’

bungalows no t being usually oversto cked wi thfurni ture .The possession of a chair

,by the way

,and th e

righ t to si t in i t in the presence of his European offi cer,

”

added he, are prerogatives on which the subadur orj emadar sets a high value .

Enlighten my grifi‘inism a li ttle

,Tom

,said I

,and

expound the cause thereof.Why

,the reason

,rej oined my friend

,i s

,I beli eve

,

thi s . No inferior in Indi a ever si ts in the presence of asuperior, unless squatting on h is heels on the groundmay be so considered ; and you must have perceived thata chair i s never offered to a sepoy or non -commissionednative officer, under any circumstance of long detentionor the like, which i t would perhaps be to Europeans o fthe same rank in those cases ; in fact, if i t were, i t w oul dbe stoutly refused

,and the man would think you w ere

b antering him . But when promoted,when he gets hi s

commission,he acquires a status in society, i s an upp i

ser’

(anofficer) , one of the s irdar Zogue, and in somerespects on a p ar wi th his European superior. He now

sports a gold necklace o r led m‘a ; and sets up a chairand a tatoo (pony ) , as indispensable concomitants of hisnewly-acquired rank— riding on the one, and in all proh abili ty si tting on the o ther, for the first time in hi s li fe .I have been a good deal amused

,continued Tom , to

see them sometimes,when seated opposi te their houses

,

or rather .huts, in the lines, enj oying their otz'

um cum

d z’

gm’

tate in these same chairs, i llustrating amusinglyenough the invincible force of habi t— legs partly doubledup under them,

fee t slantingly proj ecting under the armsthereof

,instead of depending before , according to th e

usages of Christendom . Blacky does no t readily adop t


new h abi ts and European improvements ; or if he does,he often mars their obj ec t by engrafting on them something of h i s own.

“ I dare say,”

said I , from what I have seen,that

this is true enongh .

“ A gentleman up the country,for example

,contin

ued Tom , some time ago,wished to introduce the use

of the wheelbarrow into his garden,with other English

improvements when next he went there,he found the

cooli e,or gardener’s assistant

,to his astonishmen t

,

carrying the wheelbarrow on his head, with a load of

gravel . Why, a week ago, I gave my vagabondbawurcltee ( cook ) , whom, you know, I sen t to theright about yesterday, a tin flour dredger, that I migh tbe spared the mortification of having my foodunnecessari ly manipulated . The very next time I wentto the bawurcfiee [charm (cook house ) , I caught th ev i ll ain taking the flour in pinches out of the perforatedhead of my dredger as one would take a pinch out of asnufi

‘

b ox ) and sprinkling i t over the outlet. Ah I fearthat nature designed natives and j ackasses to be managedby the cudgelWhy, that i s Cap tain M arpeet

’

s principle to a T,

said I .

“ Sound thrashings,according to him

,with

some races, are meant to answer the purpose of soundreasonings wi th others ; i t requires caution , however, inapplying that principle . For example

,i t would be far

from safe to try i t on some of those big-calved fellowsone sees behind the coaches at home ,— eh , Torn ?You

’

re right, Frank—‘ you

’

re right I see the drift ofyour remark . It does seem unmanly to th rash thosewho cannot and will not retali ate . But they

’

re confoundly stupid and provoking ; and your crouchingspaniel alway s invi tes a kick .

By the time we had terminated our aside, the nativeofficers had saluted , and after some li ttle fuss and rattling of their huge sabres

,had settled down into a quies

cent state,each man inhis own proper chair, and wear


was asked by the i n terpreter if he was guilty, or notguil ty ; to which he replied

“Jo up ka koos/zee

,as in

terpreted by Tom ,

“whichever my lord pleases .This naive reply made the superintending officer relax

hi s judici al grav i ty . The interpre ter also smiled .

The stolid old subadars, how ever, could perceivenought but stupidi ty in it, evidently, and one of themangrily said to the prisoner

,Gud da/z (ass ) , say one

or the other.Being

,with th e exception of a few words

,wholly

ignorant of the language , I could not, of course, followthe examination . The reader may

,however

,rest assured

that he has not, in consequence , lost any informati onwhich i t would be of much consequence for him toob tain .

The superintending o fficer and interpreter seemed toh ave i t all their ownway, rebuking crude j udgments andirrelevent questions, 850. (just as a judge bothers a stupidj ury ) ; l aying down the law to the subadars and j emadars

,w ho nodded like Chinese mandarins, in deep

acquiescence to their superior wisdom,saying suc/z

bhat and bltote lchoob .

The native officer, before coming into the Court, hasgenerally in five cases out of six ) made up his mindafter a long bkaz‘ cheet ( chat, or discussion , as to theguil t or innocence of the party) , touch ing b o th the ac tand its criminali ty ; b ut i s guided in his verd i c t or decisi on

,nevertheless, pretty much by what the European

offi cers may say to him : hi s own peculi ar notions of

Justice and good evidence are , perhaps, clear enough ;but, confused b y European refinements, the sublimi ty ofwhi ch his untutored mind cannot reach, he yields himself p assively to be guided by the d icta of the S ulu

'

b

Logue .

Upon the whole,when the Court was cleared , and Tom

and I repaired to hi s bungalow,I fel t that ‘ I had added

something to my li ttle stock of experience, in having*True -very well.


w i tnessed this mode of administering j ustice in a sepoycorps .The next thing of the kind I attended was an i i i

y alidi ng committee,a body assembled periodically for the

purpose of examining those soldiers whose age or infirmitiss rendered them unfit for further active servi ce,which I need no t describe .

The system of granting pension s to old and worn-outveterans i s an admirable one i t binds the native soldierto us more strongly than anything else, and is one ofthe firmest foundations of our power in India . Frequ

ently,at

i

a more advanced period of my Indian career,h ave I had occasion to observe i ts admi rable workings .I have listened to the old veteran , in his native village ,with pleasure

,surrounded by his children , and children

’

schildren

,as he has recounted his deeds , showed h is

medals and his scars , and spoken with , I believe , sincerely grateful feelings of the generosity of the

“ Kumpany Angraiz Bahadour.

CHAPTER XVIII .

A DAY or two after this,my bearer gave me a littl e

rose-coloured billet,whi ch had been left fo r me , of

which missives ( though not always couleur d e rose)there i s a vast circulation in India—almost all communications from house to house

,and family to family ,

being carried on in thi s way.

The note was from Mi ss Lucinda ; i t was wri tten in adeli cate crow-quil l hand

,and sealed with a dainty devic e

qui me neg lige, me or something of that sort,and contained an invi tation

,in her mamma

’

s name, to aso irée musicale

,on the follow ing evening.

“ Here i s an invitation ( a provoke ) , Tom said I ,from our fii end , the stout entlewoman ; shall weI 8

go


O h , certainly, was th e repl y . I have a similar one .Mrs . Brownstout

’

s parti es are amongst the mos t agreeableat Barrackpore ; her guests are always well selected andwell assorted—the grand d eszd erataof all social meetings .I like her and her d aughters amazingly, having uni

formly received the most unaffected kindness from bo th .

The old lady,indeed, looks upon me as her son , and ,

i f there were not insuperable obstacles in the way,

Frank ,— entendez -vous —I might become so in reali ty .

”

“ Perhaps, Torn sai d I ,“ that

’

s what she i s manoeuvering to effect.

No,replied he she is above -board

,and incapable

of such a proceeding ; she i s no schemer—would beglad

,no doubt

,to marry her girls to worthy men

,in an

open,honest way but would scorn to effect i t by li ttle

crooked arts : never, Frank, if you please, say a w ord tothe prej udice of Mrs . Brownstout in my presence .Why

,Tom ,

”

said I , astonished, what’

s the matterwi th you ? You

’

re warm, my dear fellow ; I meant nooffence to you, and as for

Say no more , say no more, said Tom , stopping mymouth ;

“ you were j esting, and I was hasty ; but Icannot bear the shadow of an imputation on those Iregard . If any one said a word against you

,Frank , I

’

d

floor him .

I was touched by my friend’

s generous warmth .

You’

re a worthy fellow,Tom , said I , squeez ing h is

hand ; but pray heaven we may be spared the necessi tyof showing our love for one another in that way, thoughw e have battled pretty often in each o ther

’

s defence intimes past. Do you remember

,by the bye , the j oin t

stock pummelling we gave Jack Gri ce,the cobbler, when

at old Thwackum’

s

Hal ha ! I do, indeed, Frank ; the fellow though the had us out of school

,and in a cuZ-d e sac ; but he

caught a brace of Tartars .A t the appointed hour

,the next evening, w e found

ourselves at M rs. Brownstout’

s bungalow . From the


Then there was a j ovial old surgeon from the north ofthe Tweed

,wh o took snuff out of a mull

,and cracked

the driest of j okes in th e crab b edest of tongues and two orthree d z

'

slingué-looking civili ans, temporary visitants to

B arrackpore,exhibiting

,in the studied simplicity of their

attire and well-tied cravats,a striking contrast to the

gay uniforms of the mili tary—who, poor fellow s, toooften illustrate the proverb , that all i s not gold thatglitters ; and hence

,indeed

,the civili an consoles him

self for wanting i t on his coat,by the comfortable

consideration that he has quantum sufi i of i t in hispocke t.Parti cularly conspicuous amongst the company as

sembled at Mrs . Brownstout’

s,was a j ocose old collector ,

the life and soul of the party,who

,being remarkably

ill-favoured,and very good-natured

,seemed to feel him

self privileged,withou t danger of misconstruction

,to be

wondrously facetious w i th the young ladies,whom he

roundly decl ared were all in love w i th him,and gave him

no rest or peace with their incessant attentions .“ There now you see, th ere i t is, sai d he , starting

pettishly aw ay,and looking piteously and appealingly to

the company,as Mi ss Mari a touched hi s elbow

,and

asked him to take some tea ; there i t i s again ; you seeshe won

’

t let me alone .

I learnt afterwards that he had been an old friend ofthe deceased maj or, wi th whom he had hunted andshot

,and drank pale ale

,on and off, for five-and-twenty

‘

years ; th at he was, moreover, Mari a’s godfather

,and

the true fri end of the family,by whom he was con

sulted on all weigh ty and important matters . Thougha systemati c drole or humourist

,he was at bottom a

man of sound judgment and extensive knowledge,and the

most benevolent of human kind .

Shortly after w e had entered,Mrs . Brownstout met us

with a greeting which amply made up in cordiali ty forwhatever i t might want in refinement

,and from Mari a

and Lucinda we received kin d nods of recognition,though


too busy to do more . There they were in all theirbravery

,doing the honours of the tea-table, exhibiting

the albums and the caricatures,and endeavouring to

make every one at home and happy cheerful within thelimits of propriety and good sense, attentive to all, w ithkindness and the most obliging tact .

“ You’re right

,Tom , said I , in your estimate of

thi s family ; the mother is, though alittle blunt, aworthywoman

,and the gi rl s are dear, sw eet creatures I declare

I’

ve a good mind to marry them both .

“ Both ! Are you qui te sure that either of them wouldh ave y ou

But Tom ,by the way, I continued, to change the

subject from my loves to yours, i s not that Miss Juli aHeartw ell ? directing, at the same time, his attentiontow ards th at young lady

,who hitherto

,from her positi on

,

had escaped our observation : how lovely she looks thi sevening , with her tiara of white roses !Torn coloured : “

S o i t i s, he replied ; I did notexpec t to meet her here .S o saying

,and after a pause to muster courage, Ensign

Battiston moved across the room ; a fine,well-made

,

broad-shouldered young fellow he was too, and in hi stight

,well-fitting raggie, or Sw iss j acket ( one of the

neatest turnouts of Messrs . G ibson and Pawling ) , hissmall and gracefully-tied sash

,his whi te Cossack trowsers

,

and grenadier wings (of which he was especially proud ) ,i t would have been d ifficult to conceive a more elegan tfigure, or one in which youth , strength , and symmetryw ere more happily blended .

Tom evidently did not wish to appear marked andparti cular

,or to excite more observation than could be

well avoided he consequently made his approaches verygradually

,speaking to some other young ladies of hi s

acquaintance in the group before he addressed the obj etaimée.

I marked the pretty Julia, who, though doubtless awareof the motive

,bit her l ip , and seemed ill to bear even


this assumed indifference . True love i s a bri ttle affair,and

,like a box of china, must be managed with cau

t D .

Tom,however , at length approached many a curi ous

eye was upon them, and now,

“ rebel nature ” unfurledher crimson flag

,and the li ttle god of love beat his rat

tat-too ; in other words, the conscious b lush overspreadthe lovely Julia

’

s countenance, and the palpi tations ofher bosom told full plainly all that was passing in thel ittle heart beneath .

Ensign R attleton, with an attemp t at unconcern ,presen ted his hand , and a seat being unoccupied by herside

,b e rather awkwardly ( for he was no t himself) slid

into it.Poor Tom ! his efforts at composure

,marred by the

consciousness that he was the obj ec t of observationhis blushes and her tell-tale looks of mingled tenderness and admiration, were all too palpable to escapenouce.

“ It’

s all up wi th him, said th e causti c old bachelorcaptain whom I had met at the colonel

’

s,giving me a

slight touch with his elbow ; as dead a case of spliceas I ever saw in my life—well , humph l—better let i talone

,and remain as he i s . He

’

ll think so too when thebutchers ( children ) and the bills come tumbling intogether b y-and-b y.

Lucinda now,at the desire of some of the company

,

gave us some charming airs to the accompaniment of thegui tar, which she touched with peculi ar grace ; Mari aafterwards warbled to the pi ano

,and finally, by par

ticular desire , sung a lively native song, the burthen ofwhich was H illy mz

'

lly puniya, to the great delight o fthe old collector

,who stood over her , shaking his head,

heating time with his hands,as if qui te at home in the

matter,and occasionally footing it in a mincing burlesque

way, which I was afterwards told was a j ocular imitationof the Indian nautch girls

,w i th whom thi s song i s a

favouri te i t consti tuting one of that mellifiuous varie ty,


the whitest,softest

,and most beautifully turned li ttle

h ands that I think I ever beheld ; I doubt if S ir Rogerde Coverley

’

s widow’s could have equalled them .

Having run th ese deli cate fingers—l ike a bevy of

whi te mice— rapidly over the keys,as i f to ascertain the

force and tone of the instrument,she paused, looked up,

and w i th a sort of girlish waywardness, said,Well

,now,

what am I to singTorn

,with infinite obsequiousness

,pointed wi th his

finger to an air h e had selected—it was Moore’s exquisi te

song,Those Evening Bells,

” a song which will endureas long as man retains a right percep tion of the touchingand the beautiful

,and whi ch expresses

,in the happiest

l anguage,what thousands have felt

,when that inex plic

ably sad and sadly pleasing musi c,the chime of distan t

bells floating softly over hill and dale, falls on the listening ear.Sweet bard of Erin ! embodier of our tenderest

thoughts tran sl ator of our dumb emotions—fix er ofthose painted bubbles of the soul which before thee burstat the touch of words—how many exiles have thy glorioussongs made glad how many soli tudes have they cheeredh ow many pensive spiri ts have th ey soothed and deligh ted 1how oft have thy soul -breathed words, sung to the strainsof old

,and falling on the finest chords of the heart

,

awakened all i ts nobles t responses, to liberty, patrio tism ,

love and glory ! Immortal l S thy fame, for i t i s deeplyrooted ln human hearts and human sympathies

,and long

after thou hast j oined the choir above, may thy melodiousstrains float down the stream of time to delight the latestposteri tyJuli a sung th is sweet air

,and several others, with a

feeling and pathos which convinced me she was not thesoulless belle I had at first imagined ; indeed, as shesung, every noble and generous emoti on beamed from herlovely face .N o wonder poor Tom was far gone a la Citatelar

though things with him had a somewhat happier termi


nation as i t was,he hung en amoured over h er, delighted

evi dently wi th the sensation h er singing had produced ,and

,music being the food of love ,

” as we have i t on thebest authori ty

,banqueting evidently on this very exciting

p abulum.

Mi ss Heartwell h aving resigned her seat,overwhelmed

with praises and acknowledgments, another young ladywas prevailed upon to occupy i t.S everal o ther songs follow ed, when there was a pause .The silence was at length broken by the old collector,

M r. Dilkhoob,marching up to our hostess, and address

ing her,arms a-kimbo , with well-simulated sternness and

severi ty,in the follow ing manner

Mrs . Maj or Brownstout, said he , I’

ve a veryseri ous cause of complaint against you, madam , inwhi ch your daughters are in some degree impli cated , andin whi ch I will venture to affirm I am j oined by all therest of the young people in this party.

A general smile and in terchange of looks betw eenthose present was the result of thi s speech

,deemed evi

dently the precursor of something merry .

“ Well , M r. D ilkh oob , responded the old lady, who

seemed perfectly to understand him,what i s my trans

gression

Why,madam

,said he

,

“ I consider that you h aveacted in a most unusual, a most inconsiderate, and amost extraordinary manner

,in inviting so many young

folks to your house,myself among th e number

,w i thout

giving them a dance ; th e young men here rubbed theirhands “ but

,madam

,as i t is never too late to amend

our faults,and correct our backslidings

,I propose that

w e do now have a dance , and that my friend here , Lieutenant and Adj utant Wigwell, be soli ci ted to send immed iately for a part of his banditti— I beg pardon—band, Imeant

,in order that we may ‘ trip i t as w e go, on the

light fantasti c toe,

’

this way,

” said he,seiz ing the hands

of the laughing dame,and cutting one or two most pon

derons capers.


Bravo was repeated by many voices .The mo tion was carried by acclamation, and Lieu t.

and Adjt. Wigwell posted off an orderly for some of themusi ci ans.They soon made their appearance

,and a fine swarthy

set of fellows they were,wi th their chimney-po t caps .

There was a li ttl e preliminary clatter in the verandah,and pitching of instruments

,when suddenly clarionet,

cymb al, and trombone broke forth ina glorious and sou linspiring lil t.Tables were removed

,ch airs thrust out, partners en

gaged, and the younger portion of M rs . Brownstout’

s

party—as i f suddenly bitten by taran tulas—were whirling and bobbing through the mazes of the merry danceI footing it away

,with Mari a for my partner

,as well as

the best of them .

A neat supper,wi th songs

,serious and comi c, (1 la

mode I nd z'

enne,and the collector qui te uproarious, ter

minated one of the pleasantest evenings I had yet spentin Bengal .Miss Julia wen t home in her palkee ; Tom and I es

corted her to her bungalow on foot ; the former makingseven-league strides

,in order to converse a little by th e

way ; I pelting aw ay after him as vigorously as the manwith the s team leg

,though not h aving an equal interest

in such violen t locomotion .

The period was now approaching when I was to bidadieu to Barrackpore for the Upper Provinces, and exchange the life of mingled drill and gaiety

,of which the

foregoing little tableaux may serve to give some idea, forone of constan t change from scene to scene, andmore in consonance with a roving disposition .

I was appointed to a regiment at Agra,but about to

move to Delhi , the capital of India, and which is, orwas, associ ated in our minds with all, or much, that i sglorious and striking in E astern history.A Captain Belfield , of infantry, from Java

,one of the

Indian army of occupation there,going up the country to


white huwailie or kotee house of some European residingon the banks .We soon passed the Governor-General

’

s country residence

,and the extensive and b eautifully wooded p ark

adjoining, which has a fine effect from the river ; also ,riding at anchor among other boats , and at some li ttledistance from the shore

,we had a view of the state pin

nace, or S oonamoo/cy ,in which that high functionary

makes his progresses to the Upper Provinces . It wasan elegan t square -rigged vessel

,with tapering masts

,

painted a ligh t green , if my memory is correct, andprofusely, though tastefully, gilded ; hence, in fact, thename .O nwe rowed wi th the rapi d tide, and after coursing

along two or three bold sweeps of the river, Calcuttaonce more broke on my sight—the native town—How

rah— the Splendid whi te buildings of the Europeanquarter— i ts forest of shipping— sw arming ghauts—mult itudinous boats— and all the ant-hill scene of commerce,bustle

,and animation

,Opening upon as in rapid succes

sion , like the scenes of a diorama .

This appro ach to the Ci ty of Palaces,however, i s by

no means equal,in my Opinion , to that from the seaward

si de . Widely different were my emotions when I nex tVi si ted thi s spo t.After many years’ residence in the Upper Provinces,amongst raj ahs

,hill forts and Hindoo temples , ho ly

shrines and sacred prayagas, groves resoundi ng with thecry of the peacock

,and M ah omedan ruins of departed

grandeur,exploring the h aunts of the savage Bheel, and

pursuing the plundering Pindarry through the scenes ofhi s maraud ings, familiarized with scenes, manners , andcustoms wearing the impress of a hoary antiqui ty, andas far removed from the go-a-head things of E umpeanciviliz ation as i t i s possib le to imagine, I once morefound myself off Calcutta .

With my mind thus saturated with new ideas—a sortof sleepy hollow state having come over me, and th e

ME MOIRS O F A GRIFFIN . 221

recollections of “ father-land fast escaping from mystill fondly tenaci ous grasp, the first sigh t of the tallmasts of the shipping

,as they burst on my view

,on

rounding a point,produced sensations of pleasure as

hard to describe,as d ifficult to be forgotten ; nor were

these feelings diminished,when , gliding past the vessels

themselves,I read “ London ,

” Liverpool,” and so forth

,

on their stem s,and beheld the rough red-shirted tars ,

my ruddy stalwart countrymen, as they gazed at 113

over th e sid es, or lounged in groups on the forecastle ,and thought th at in very truth but a bri ef period hadelapsed since those fortunate fellows had been lying insome crowded bustling port of my own dear native land

,

wi th all her faul ts ,” still beloved and d ear to me .

A visi t subsequently to one of them served, by exhibiting once famili ar things, to awaken still more forciblythe recollections of O ld England , and to rekindle thatlove of country

,which

,next to that of God and kindred

,

i s, perhaps , the noblest feeling that can swell thebosom .

I will venture to say there are many of my AngloIndian brethren who have experienced that which I havehere feebly attempted to describe .We landed at O hundpaul ghaut, a spot memorable in

my eyes as that of my di sembarkation in Calcutta sometw o or three months before

,and of my incipient acquain

tance wi th my grandiloquent factotum Chattermohun

Ghose .From the ghaut we proceeded

,in ti cca palankeens

,to

the fort, where Battleton and I had been invi ted to takeup our quarters w i th Lieut. Rantipo le

,of the Z ubber

dust Bullumteers, then on duty there wi th his company .

A wonderful place i s Fort William,and a hard nut i t

will be for the enemies of O ld England to crack,i f

they should ever be induced to attempt i t, whether i t b ethe wily Russi an , the gallant Frenchman , or BrotherJonathanhimself.It is exceedingly wrong to be proud—very wrong


i ndeed - I know i t ; but , nevertheless, I have alwayscarried my chin at an angle of forty-five degrees withthe plane of the horizon

,whenever I marched into that

bri stling p lace d’

armes . To other pens,less sketchy

and discursive than mine,I mus t leave i ts minute de

scription .

S uffice it for my purpose here to observe , that i ts extent i s vast

,i ts de fences admirable

,and though making

li ttl e exterior show, i ts green slopes once passed, a battery on the broad grin meets you at every turn , as muchas to say

,A-ha! I’ve caught you, eh l—on ne p eut

pas passer ici ;” in short

,i ts guards, griffs, adjutants,

and arsenals,crows

,causeways

,cookboys and counter

scarps,i ts mountains of balls and acres of cannon , are

all wonderful and astonishing .

CHAPTER XIX .

THE day after my arrival at Calcutta I hastened topay my respects to the Capsi cums . O n reaching theportico of the house

,I threw myself out of my palan

keen .

“ Is the general at home ?He 18, 1cfiodabund ,

” said the servant, and ascendedto announce me . Upon my entering

,and making my

bow,“ Ha ! h ow are ye, S lr ; how are ye, sir ? said the

old veteran , extending his hand to me at full length, ashe reclined in his easy chair ; glad to see you again .

Well, sir, and how did you l ave my son ? But I’veheerd of all your prosadings.

Mrs . Capsicum congratul ated me on my continuedheal thy appearance

,and condescended to present me

with the tip of her honourable li ttle finger.I looked around for the dear widow

, but she was notthere . My pulse sunk below zero with painful misgivings ; ideas of death, matrimony, or some other mi s


My young fri end, said the old man , taking my handwith more feeling than I had ever yet seen him display

,

I w i shed to say a few words to you in private beforew e part, most probably for ever. I loved your braveuncle, as I h ave already told you, and I think I shouldno t b e showing a proper respect to his memory

,or doing

my duty tow ards hi s nephew,did I not offer ye a few

words of counsel , the resul t of long experience .“I

’

m not the hypocri te to prache to you that I havealways acted as I would have you to act ; no ,

’tis no t so ;I

’

(l be glad,by G i f i t h ad been otherwise ; but my

ex parience, like that of most men , has been cl earlybough t . You are young, all the world before ye, andabout

,probably

,to enter on a long and vari ed career.

Life is a game,and a few false moves at the outset, i t

may never be in your power fully to retrave i t thereforeb ehoves you to be cautious

,and to weigh well every step

before you take it.“ When you j oin your regiment, beware of your

associ ates, for on the character of these your futureprospects will mainly depend . Be slow in formingintimacies

,but at th e same time courteous and kind to

all . Observe , but do not appear to do so, for people donot love to have spies over them. Take your cheerfulglass w i th your friends

,but shun intemperance

,the root

of gaming and all evi l .S trive to l ive within your manes

,and let no man

laugh you out of your resolution to be just before youare generous for the time will come

,take my w ord for

it,when you will rape the reward of your self-denial .

Make yourself master of your profession , and acquire ataste for rading and study ; i f over wild,

’ tw ill bege t anew mind in ye, and i s the best manes ye can adopt tosave ye from frivoli ty and dissipation, of which ye

’

l l findplenty here

,by G

“ Indulge moderately in faild sports , for no man inIndia ever took his full swing of them that, sooner orl ater, had not to lament a broken constitution ; the


strength of Hercules will not enable Europeans to braveexposure to an Aistern sun with impunity.

“ Lay down fix ed principles for yourself, and letnothing induce ye to swerve from them ; they are, if Imay so say

,the helm of our moral n ature and though

the gusts of passion and caprice, or the shoals of nuavoidable difficul ties, may sometimes drive us out of ourcourse, i f we have but these we shall regain it ; butwithout them, w e become the sport of every impulse, wedrift away to d estruction . God know s I

’

ve rason to sayall this . Acquire courage to say ‘ no

’

when ye feel yeought

,and thereby shu

o

n that rock of over aisiness onwhich so many a youth has made shipwreck of his fortunes .As for religion , I lave ye to judge for yourself ; make

no j oke of any man’

s ; whatever has God’

s glory andman

’

s good as i ts professed obj ect , however mistaken ,d esarves a sort of respect even from an opponent.There

’

s good enough in most of them,if we would but

stick to the practical part ; perhap s , as my old moonshee ,Golaum Hyder

,used to say, i t may be God

’

s pleasure tob e approached in more ways than one

,so that we do i t

with honesty of purpo se and in singleness'

of heart .S trive to make friends, but of this rest assured,

that no friendship can be lasting that i s not based onrespect for some one sterling quali ty , at laist, to redaim themany w aiknesses which we all , more or l ess , inheri t ;when all looks smiling you may think otherwise, andoverlook thi s essenti al , but you w il l find eventually thatin resting on such summer friends

,you lean on a broken

reed .

Till society findsus other manes of obtaining redressfor inj uries

,and for stopping the tongues of the brawler

,

the slanderer,and the bully , than by the d —d tadious

and ex pinsive process by law established which,I

suppose,i f a man spit in your face

,would require you

to prove how much soap i t would take to wash i t off andgive damages accordingly : I say

,ti ll this i s done, fight

Q


we must sometimes—but avoid quarrels ;’ tis aisier and

more honourable to keep out of them than to back out

of them,and ti s a dreadful thing for a thrifle (here his

voice faltered and he became much agitated) to have theblood of a comrade on your conscience .

'

Tis a h ard matter,I know, to put an old head on

young shoulders ; but maybe , nevertheless, you’

ll sometimes think of what I

’

ve now s aid to ye. And now,

”

he

added wi th a smile,I beli eve I

’

ve finished my sermon ,and have nothing more to add

,than may God Almighty

bless and prosper ye lO n saying this, the warm-hearted old Irishman

,who

was evidently affected , applied a key with tremb ling handto a li ttle escri toire , from wh ich he took an old-fashionedsilver snuff-box . This he rubbed wi th his sleeve , lookingat i t wistfully , and then presented i t to me, whilst a teartrembled in hi s eye—the thoughts of other d ays rushedupon h im.

“ There, sai d he ; that belonged to your poor departed uncle forty-five years ago he gave i t to me as amark of his regard ; I now here present i t to you as aproof of mine, and in memento of him,

th e only man on

earth I’

d give i t to before I died . I don’

t recommendyou to snuff yoursel f generally

,added he, but you

'

llfind a p inch in th at, and he smiled , that'll do you goodsometimes , if used wi th di scretion and sparingly, i fyou

’

re ever in want of a further supply, let me know ;and now, i f ye plase, we

’

ll rej oin the ladies .I was deeply touched by the general

’

s kindness, andmentally promised that I would treasure up his counsel,and make i t my future guide . I fear, however, h isestimate

,touching that extremely d ifficult Operation of

putting an old head on young shoulders,found li ttle in

my subsequent career at all cal culated to invali date i tscorrectness .Well , I bade a long farewell to the general . Mrs .

Capsicum softened as she bid me adieu,and the charm

ing widow could scarcely conceal her emotion .


I was to pay R s. 100,or about £ 10

,for a j ourney of

700miles . Tom also ordered his j ew ellery, visited hisagents

,and made sundry arrangements connected wi th

the coming event.I sough t out some

‘ of my old ship acquaintances, andh aving transacted all necessary business

,and ordered

my bolio to B arrackpore , Tom and I returned in a hiredgig by land .

We drove through the native town,alive with i ts

heterogeneous population—paroquets,fakeers

,baboos,

palkees, &c.

,and through almost an unbroken avenue of

trees,to Barrackpore

,six teen miles distant .

The next day I called on Capt . Belfield, w i th whom Iarranged to depart in two or three days . He p ropo sedthat I should take my meals wi th them onmy way up asfar as Dinapore , to which I consented ; this, besides promising to be agreeable in other respects, saved me theexpense of a cook-boat .The captain introduced me to his sister

,who had re

sided wi th h im for some time in Java .

Miss Belfield was a lady o f a certain age,once

more b riefly expressed by the term“ old maid but she

was neither an envious old maid , nor a spi teful old maid ,nor an intensely blue old maid , nor a canting old maid ;but she was a cheerful , bland, and intellectual woman o f

thirty -five, with a mind deeply imbued w i th religi ousfeeling

,and not w i thout s dash of sentiment .

Celibacy, which so often in women turns the milk ofhuman kindness to gal !

,seemed in her

,as sometimes

happens,to have had the Opposite effect

,and to have

given i t additional sweetness in fact,al l th e w orld was

her lover, and she had never given her heart to one ,from a feeling , perhaps, that

’twas meant for mankind .

”

Having lost her last surviving parent,a clergyman ,

whose income,though large , aro se almost so lely from his

preferment, she had been obliged to change the home ofher infancy for a state of galling half-dependence ondistant relatives

,who made herf eel their kindness in the


least pleasing manner. From thi s state she was relievedby an invitation from her only and bachelor bro ther,Capt . Belfield

,to come out and superintend his establish

ment in India ; and, certainly, a happier or more amiablepair w ere never seen together.Capt. Belfield told me at what ghaut his budgerow,

horse,and cook-boat were lying , and recommended me

to send my boli o to the same place,as i t was his inten

tion to qui t Barrackpore in a couple of d ays .The next tw o days were busily occupied in paying

farewel l visi ts,packing up my valuables

,as also in hiring

one or two additional servants,which swelled my establish

ment to six .

I here recount the names,occupations

,and salaries of

th e individuals .F1rst in the list was Ramdial

,sirdar-bearer

,my valet

d e chambre,an old Hindoo , w i th wondrous frail sup

porters and a grizzled moustache ; he served me for R s. 6

per mensem was a truly honest native , and would neverallo w anybody to cheat me

,— b ut himself.

Next came R umjan Khan, khi tmutgar, or footmansalary, R s . 7 per mensem. R umjan served me w i thfid elity till we got about fifty miles above Calcutta, when ,no t find ing the air of the river to agree w i th him , he leftme rather suddenly

,with the conten ts of my plate-chest

,

— to w i t, six silver spoons and a brace of mufiineers .

The third in poin t of rank in my establishment wasN annoo , dhobee, or w asherman salary

, R s. 6 a hardworking

,harmless creature

,who pegged away at his

wash-board daily. A pretty w i fe,a large brazen iron

(the Hiberniani sm is unavoidable) , and three fat n aked

piccaninies, alw ays on the 01awl at the top of my bolio,seemed to consti tute the amount of his earthly treasures .Fourthly came Bahadoor Khan, mussalchee, or link

boy ; the province of this servant is to carry the torch ,or lantern, and to scour out the saucepans and tea-kettle,c lean knives

,fetch milk , 850. b ut as I had not much for

h im to do in that way, I made him my head chasseur


salary, R s. 4 per mensem, or eight shillings, not too

much,one would suppose

,for the decent clothing and

maintenance of a man and his family.

Next (hired for his special utili ty on a river j ourney )came Hyder Bux

,bhisti e

,or water-carrier, a terri ble

thi ck-set fellow ; a devout M ah omedan, with a heard sobushy and luxuriant

,that

,with his hooked nose and large

eyes,he always reminded me of an owl looking out of an

ivy-bush .

Last on the li st,but no t least in importance, at least to

me, was Nuncoo, matar, my master of the buckhounds .I shall draw a veil over some of the peculiar duties

of Nuncoo,but others I shall particulariz e ; they were,

the care of Hector the bull-dog,and Teazer the—I was

going to say so i-d z’

sant—terrier, in preparing dai ly forthem a very large mess of ri ce and turmeri c

,with a few

small bi ts of meat interspersed .

Poor Bull , this Gentoo fare, I suspect, bu t ill agreedth your Whitechapel consti tution

,and seemed to hasten

your end .

The prosp ect of a ch ange was h igh ly agreeable to me,

though mingled w i th a regret at the necessi ty i t involvedof a separation from my friend Tom

,for whom I had a

very warm affection .

R attletonwas equally sorry to part with me,partien

larly as he wished me to be present at his marriage, inthe capaci ty of bridegroom’s man, and which event wasto take place in ten days .

Frank,we must pass the last even ing cosily to

gether, said he ;“ I must be with Julia till half-past

seven,b ut for the remainder of the evening I am yours .

It i s needless to trouble the reader with any accountof what passed between Tom and me

,in this the last

evening of our soj ourn together past hours were revivedand future pleasures anti cipated . Tom spoke in rap tureof his appro aching happiness, and of the liberali ty ofthe young lady

’

s uncle,who had already presented them

with a new bungalow .


property,to the value of R s . for which he could

claim no compensation . Three of hi s servants wentdown with the boat, as if to verify the old adage .He had barely recovered from the shock occasioned by

th is misfor tune, when he had to sustain another, thoughof a different kind . He had discovered that his child

'

sd izye, or native nurse, was in the h abi t of dosing his infan t with opium

,that i t migh t no t disturb her slumbers .

Tom threatened ; madam took huff, and marched ofi'

the delicate Juli a was in despair . The only succedaneum that might have been rendered available , a goat,had accompanied the horses to the shades b elow .

Ye who send sons and daughters to India, imaginenot that they are always reposing on beds of roses .Alas p oor Torn

,thou hadst a gallant spiri t, but

heavy was the sigh which ever and anon escaped thee ,as thou didst detail thy d ifficulties to me during thebri ef hour we then spent together !Much hadst thou to tell of the tri als of a married sub

,

on small means , and kep t much on the move ; but Imust reserve i t for some other occasion

,with the rest

of Tom’

s story, as Corporal Trim would say, for i tforms a part of it.In Julia—the shawled

,b e-capped, and languid invali d

-I could scarcely think that I was indeed looking on

the belle of Barrackpore, truly the“ ligh t of the b all

room .

I had nearly omi tted to mention a circumstance whichoccurred on the previous day, wi th which i t i s of importance that the reader should be made acquainted—to wit,an unexpected visi t I had from my frien d Chattermob un

Ghose .O ugoing into Tom

’

s verandah , to order the despatchof some chattels to my bolio

,I observed a Bengalee at

one extremity of i t,his head going like that of a Ch i

nese mandarin .

I discovered that these profound salaams were intendedfor me. I advanced towards the automaton, and imme


d iately recognized the patriarchal proprietor of five

effective children of various denominations, O hattermo

hun Ghose .

Hah Chattermohun, my fine fellow , i s that yousaid I . What brought you to Barrackpore ?I came , sair, for argent private afl

‘

air ; two , three

gentilman owe me li ttle b ill here, and accidentally I havelearn by chance that master was ish taying here ; therefore I think my duty to pay respect ; master make megreat obligation ; master i s my father, to whom my everlasting gratitude will be due.

”

“ As for being your father,Chattermohun, said I ,

laughing ,“no one would suspect that

,for i f I am not

mistaken, you are old enough to be mine ; and why youshould be so grateful towards me

,I cannot imagine .

Some wri ter has w ell observed,that grati tude i s too

often b ut a lively sense of favours to come to Asiati cs,or natives of India

,at all even ts

,thi s remark applies

with more force than to Europeans in general . That myfriend Chattermohun

’

s gratitude partook largel y of thisp rospective charac ter

,soon became abundantly apparent .

Master I understand w i ll shortly go Iope contree

Yes, Chattermohun, I

’m ofi‘

to-morrow—please thepigs ; have you any commands

No , sair, command not got ; butHere was a pause after which

, Chattermohun re

sumed his plan of operations in the usual wily style o fthe Bengalee ; any one of whom I

’

l l pi t against any Jewin the Minories .

“ D oes master know, said b e, with an air of perfec tunpremeditation

,one gintlemanname Captain Belfil,

who was shortly go DanaporeOh

,yes, said I , falling into the trap ; to be sure

I do we’

re going up together .0

“Master go up contree wi th Captain Belfil ? I no tknow that” ( the vagabond had come up on purpose tomake h is approaches through me) ; then that w il l begood b is

’ness for master master very clever gintleman,


but li ttle to o much young to go up river by ownself. Ithink Master Belfil will b e in paymaster b is’

ness—gotgood ’pointment up contree

“ Yes,

” I replied,

“ I believe he has—p aymaster ofinvalids

,somewhere or other . But now

,Chatter

mohun,my good fellow, make yourself scarce, if you

please,for I ve a plaguy deal to attend to, and must b e

’

very busy .

Chattermohun raised his h and, enveloped in its snowy,muslin drapery, slowly to his forehead , and made me aprofound salaam

,but stirred not—there was evidently

something in the background . At l ast,out i t plumped .

Will master please to 1191s in my favourTo whom ? for what what the d —l do I know of

you, Chattermohun

Captain Belfil,I learn by proper intelligence

,have

need of ’spectab le wri ter . I won’t go back old army

b is’

ness,Calcutta— b is

’

ness not make too much pecuniaryprofi t— therefore. master please to give me recommendation

,I shall , p lis God, get that place .

”

Oh,oh 1” said I , M r. Chattermohun; and this i s

the obj ect of your visi t to me , eh l -of your everlastinggrati tude, and my newly-dubbed paternity

N o,sair

,

’pon my honour,no t for that only, but

master I think have great benevolence to do me favour.”

I liked Chattermohun ; those who cannot carry i t bystorm , must try i t by sap so I promised to certify on

paper al l that I knew in his favour,and a li ttle more .

To my surprise, i t produced the desired effect.Chattermohun go t the j oined the fleet, andbecame our compagnon d e voyag e .

They say there is no word for g rati tud e i n the nativel anguage , and consequently that the quali ty i s unknown ;certainly, Chattermohunwas grateful to me, poor fellow ,

for the service rendered him,as far as was in his power

to be ao . Grati tude i s certainly more easily professedthan fel t amongst black and whi te ; but to deny that i tcan exist, i s to libel human nature.


fellows as their namesakes at home, a rag or waistclothconsti tuting their working sui t) , tow the boats at the rateof fourteen or sixteen miles a day each manhas a stou tpiece of bamboo , wi th a string attached ; the latter heattaches to the towing-line

,placing the former over his

shoulder.In ascending

,the oars are seldom made use of, excep t

ing in crossing the river,or in passing long lines of

moored boats,when they are sometimes d eemed prefer

able to passing the towing line over each separate masthead

,which i s a troublesome operation, and productive

of infini te squabbling and abuse between the crews .The term budg erow i s a corruption of the w ord barge,

and the idea of those in common use in India has evidently been taken from the state barges, once more usedby coloni al governors than at presen t

,as a state appen

dage , and which once also in London, in the olden time,served the purposes of transi t amongst the great whichcoaches do at presen t. Specimens of th em still survivein the Lord Mayor

’

s barge and those of public compan i cs .We soon left Barrackpore behind us, and the pretty

D anish settlemen t of S erampore opposi te the Bengalcity of refuge for the fugitives of John Doe and RichardRoe—and in a li ttle time passed the French possessionof Chandernagore

,and the Dutch factory of Chinsurah .

In the evening we reached Bandel,an ancient Portu

guese settlement, celebrated for i ts cream cheeses, whichare rather so -so , and a pretty Roman Catholi c chapel an dconvent

,coeval , I imagine, with the earliest settlement of

the Portuguese in Bengal .The shades of evening were gath ering around as we

slowly brought to and moored our boats for the night .Lights from many a nook and ghaut on the river beganto shed their trembling rays across i ts surface . Thecrescent moon

,in si lver sheen

,like a fairy of light, was

just rising above th e tops of the cocoa-nut trees ; and theclash of gongs and cymbals resounded from the neigh


b ouring bazaars, telling i t was the hour of j oy andrelaxation .

Captain Belfield proposed a saunter b efore tea, towhich his sister and myself gladly assen ted and it wasagreed that w e should explore the li ttle paraclete beforeus, which , in i ts pure and modest whiteness , seemed, as i twere

,tranquilly reposing in the mingled moon and twi

light.The captain took his sti ck , a stou t shillelagh of some

Javanese wood , on the meri ts of which he afterwardsoften expatiated ; Mi ss Belfield, bonneted and scarfed ; Itendered my arm , like an attentive young man , andfollowed by a chaprassee and the captain

’

s black terri er,

w e commenced our first evening’

s ramble .How d elightfully tranqui l i s y our evening hour in

India ! said Mi ss Belfield .

“As far as my experi encegoes

,I should almost say i t compensates for the fiery

sun of the day .

It i s a relief, certainly, said the captain . O ldPhoebus

’

d i sappearance below the horizon in thi s country,

and the effect produced by i t on manand beast , remind meof that which usually followed the exi t of my old preceptorfrom the school room—ageneral uproar and rej oi c ing .

CHAPTER XX .

THE little church of Bandel i s a pleasing, modeststruc ture - i ts whi te tow er, cross, Cloisters , and adjoiningpriest

’

s house and garden,creating a pleasing illusion ;

transporting the spectator in imagin ation ( forgetting h eis in Indi a) to the orange groves of Portugal orMad eira.The vesper bell had ceased to sound as w e slow ly

entered the building . The interior was invested with adeepening gloom , but parti ally broken by the w aningligh t of evening

,which, streaming in at the windows

,


chequered the w orn pavement, pencilling, as i t were, wi thi ts sad and sober ray, the touching but evanescen t recordof another departing day .

Within, all was silence and repose, save when slightlybroken by the closing of a door, or the echo of a distantfootfall .The al tars , with their splendid adornments of the

Romish ri tual, tapers, crucifix es, &c., sparkled through th e

dim, religious ligh t”

of the place,whilst here and

there a few solitary native Portuguese women , on theirknees

,met our eyes

,absorbed in silent prayer .

The scene was solemn and impressive ; my lightthoughts fled , and a deep sense of the hol iness and lovelineas of devotion fel l upon me . We moved through thebody of the church and the adj oining courts and cloisters

,

pleased with th e tranquil li ty of th e spot, before we bentour steps towards the budgerow, whose whereabouts wasnow plainly indicated by the numerous fires of ourservants and boatmen

,cooking their evening meal on the

banks .Well, Ann ! said the cap tain to hi s si ster, as we

sauntered along, what do you think of the old chapelof Bandel ?I have been greatly pleased with it

,answered Mi ss

Belfield with me , you know,

E venthe faintest relics of a shrineO f any worsh ip wake some though t divine.

’

But truly there is something par ex cellence in these oldCatholic ecclesiasti cal buildi ngs, wh ich alw ays , goodPro testant as I am,

takes a powerful hold on my feelingsand imagination ; hall owed by their association wi th theevents of the misty past

,they awaken the most solemn

reflections . To have trodden , too, as we h ave j us t done,those very aisles where the adventurous Portuguese ofthe olden time of India (now some centuries p ast) haveput up their ori sons

,i s well worth our evening

’

s ramble .Yes

,she added, with some enthusiasm ,

“whatever he

240 mnmoms or A GRIFFIN .

cabin, in w orm-eaten Indian covers,and in all sorts of

crambo characters- Persi an,N agree, Pali, and I know

not what besides ; with dictionaries, many of formidablebulk .

He maintained—for Captain Belfield , like most men,had his hobby, and was , moreover, at th at time writinga book to prove it— th at w e have received almost all ourraw notions of things in general from the E ast, to whi chw e are , in fact, more indebted than i t suits the poli cy ofthe world to acknowledge ; and that now , after a score ortwo of centuries, w e are merely rendering them backtheir own in a manufactured or modified form .

Our feudal system,

our j uries, our best j okes, ourcleverest tales, our wisest aphorisms , and much morebesides

,were , according to him, all filched from the

Hindoos . The captain was not a man to be led awayby strained analogies and forced etymologies ; so I putgreat fai th in his d icta -a fai th whi ch has not beenshaken by my post-griffinish researches .He had better grounds to go upon than the old Irish

colonel,who took up the converse of the proposition

,

and proved,or endeavoured to prove , that the Hindoos

sprung from the Irish,that Sanscri t was a corruption of

their vernacular,their veneration for the cow nothing

more than a natural transi tion from their well-knownparti ality for bulls and th at the mildness

,temperance

,

and placabili ty of the race all smacked strongly of Tippet ary .

O n the evening to which I am referring, Captain Belfield soon became absorbed in his books

,whilst Miss

Belfield and I sat down to chess . We had two wellcontested games ; I won them both , and though I boremy vi ctory meekly enough

,I perceived

,or though t I

perceived,that i t would not do to repeat my triumphs

too often .

Chess is a fine, intellectual game, no doub t, but, someh ow or other

,a sad tryer of the temper ; and, whether

beaten or vic torious,unless possessed of more than or

MEMOIRS or A GRIFFIN . 24 1

d inary tact and self-command , you may chance to quarrelwi th , and possibly alienate , your friend .

Thus,then

,with some li ttle vari e ty

,reading, or con

versation,passed w e the evenings of our soj ourn together

—the pleasantest by far o f my griffinage .

The voyage to Burhampore, the first large mili tarystation on the river

,occupied ten or twelve days . I

shall b riefly touch on a few more of i ts incidents.In spite o f General C apsi cum

’s friendly advice to indulge moderately in field sports, like ninety nine out ofevery hund ted griffins, I commenced my popping operat ions almost from the day of starting

,keeping up a sor t

of running fire, with li ttle inte1mission, till I reachedmy destination .

My knowledge of Indian ornithology being extremelylimi ted , I declared war against all of the feathered racethat presented themselves —particul arly the paddy-birdsand snippets . The first, a sort of small crane, abounding in the rice ~ fields, and which i t is considered by sportsmen the acmé o f Johnny-rawism to shoot , under theimpression that they are game ; the second, a sort ofsand-l ark, which runs ducking along the banks of theriver

,and are so tame

,being accustomed to boats

,that

i t i s d ifficult to make them take wing . These, in mysimplici ty, I took for Bengal snipes, and sometimes,poor little devi l s

,opened a poiut-blank battery on them

from my bolio window,knocking them

,of course

,to

immortal smash .

”

I had , i t i s true , gained an inkling from Tom andM arpeet touching the nature of such proceedings , w i thsome warnings to avoid them

,though i t was reserved for

Captain Belfield , a few day s after w e left Ho ogly, to re

new the admonition, w i th better effect. Thi s arose outof the following occurrence .I returned one evening to his budgerow,

l ade11Ramdial , bearer, and N uncoo , matar, w ere charged w i ththe porterage of the following miscellaneous bag o f game

,

to wit : a cock vulture, wi th fine red wattleso

(whi ch IR

242 MEMOIR S O F A GRIFFIN.

shot,thinking h e was a wild turkey ) , four snippets ,

five paddy-birds, three doves, a gillarie, or striped sguirrel

,a b raminy kite, and a j ackal .The boats were j ust coming-to , the poor dandies, after

a hard day’s pull, winding up their tow-l ines, and oldPhcebus himself j ust sinking to rest, spreading hisglorious hues over the broad bosom of the Bagheri ti, as,

S pent w ith extreme toil,Weary and faint,

I made my appearance, after a long explorati on amongmango groves

,paddy fields

,and sugar-cane kates

,* in

search of game .The captain was seated on the roof of the budgerow

as I hove in sight his ami able sister, parasol in hand,beside him

,talking of Long Somerton

,in all probabi lity

,

and enj oying the beauties of the scene and the coolnessand tranquilli ty of the hour.Well , Gernon , sai d the former, who had now dropped

the “M r.

”

in addressing me ,“what sport ? what have

you killed —too well employed to think of dinner, ofcourse !

Oh ! capital , sir, said I all i n that bag,and more

besides .

Quan ti ty, certainly ; but what are they added b e,for that

,after all, i s the main point .

Pray bring them on board, sai d Mi ss Belfield ; Iam curious to see some of the Indian game, to ascertainin what respect they differ from ours at home .With the greatest pleasure

,returned I , glad of an

opportuni ty to exhibi t the contents of my bag ; you

shall see them immediately .

S o saying, I went on board , and j oined my friends onthe roof

,Ramdial following wi th the bag

,and Nuncoo

dragging up the jackal by the tail . Ye Gods how thecap tain

,albeit a grave man on ordinary occasions, did

laugh,as Ramdial tumbled out the contents of my cornu

ccpia!Plantations .


we h ave a righ t to slay,i t i s not in mere wantonness ;

shoo t only what you can eat i s a good maxim .

”

“M r. Gernon

,sai d Mi ss Belfield , though my

brother undervalues your spo rt,i t may be some con sola

tion to you to know that I do not ; I want to sketch allthe curious birds and animals I see

,for a very dear friend

of mine at Long Somerton,w ho exacted a promise from

me,at parting

,that I w ould do so . Will you, therefore,

bring them all on board to-morrow,the poor j ackal inclu

ded and you shall group whilst I sketch themCapi tal said I w i th the greatest pleasure ; and

we'

ll h ave Nancoo as the Ind i anhuntsman in the foreground : we shall

,

” I added rather wickedly, i n thi sli ttl e dedi cati on to the fine arts, be working out thecaptain’s utili tarian principle

,as appli ed to sporting.

Captain Belfield was as good as h is word ; he put hisdouble-barrelled Manton together

,after a long repo se

apparently,in i ts case

,where

,in dust certainly, i f no t in

as/zes,i t had mourned its sta te of inaction, mustered

several of hi s servants,and out we sallied in the after

noon of the following day.

Captain Belfield, from hi s perfect knowledge o f thelanguage and the peopl e—whom, I observed , he alwaystreated with great kindness—was soon able to ascertainthe spot in the neighbourhood of th e river where thegame was to be found ( there i s but li ttle, comparat ively,in thi s p art of Bengal ) , and which I should probab lyhave been long in discovering ; to them we accord inglywent

,and found hares

,black partridges

,and abundance

of real snipes,which I perceived did no t (hfi

‘

er in thesmallest degree from English ones and I had the su

preme felici ty of bagging something more respectablethan paddy-birds and snippets

,which I afterwards trea ted

with proper contemptThe captain

,al though he had been so long on the

reti red li st as a spo rtsman ,fired a capi tal good sti ck

nevertheless,and knocked the black partridges ab out

,

right and left, ingreat style ; indeed, he once or twice,


to borrow a no t very del icate sporting ph rase, w ipedmy nose ” in a very off-hand manner, proofs of hispowers as a marksman w i th which I could h ave readilyd i spensed ; as next probably, to a smack in the face,there are few things more disagreeable than having your‘ nose wiped .

The black partridge of India,I must inform the

reader,i s a beautiful bird i ts breast 6 . the male’

glossy shining black,Spangled with round and clearly

d efined white spots i ts haunts are the long grass on theborders of jheels and marshes, from whence i t creeps,in the mornings and evenings, into the neighbouringcultivation .

When flushed , up h e goes, as straigh t as a line, to acertain elevation

,and then off with him

,at a righ t angle,

like a dart . He i s by no means an easy shot, though,from his mode of rising , i t would appear otherwise .It w il l be long ere I forget th e thrill of pleasure I

experienced when I dropped my first black partridge onthis occasion

,and how pompously , after ascertaining his

specific gravi ty, I consigned him to my b ag, taking himout about every h y e minutes

,to indulge in another ex ami

nation . It i s difficult to express the contempt withwhich I then viewed my quondam friends

,the snippets

and paddy-birds .The prodigious quanti ty of water—fow l to be seen on

some of the shallow lakes or jheels of India, i s well calculated to astonish the European beholder. I have seenclouds of them rise from such sheets of water, particularly in the upper part of the Dooab , with a sound sometimes not unlike the ro ar of a distant park of arti ll erygeese of two or three sorts ; ducks, teal, coots, saruses,and flamingoes ; the latter, however, should perhaps b eexcepted from the concluding part of the remark, tor astring of these beautiful scarlet and flame o coloured creatures

,floating silently in the air, or skimming , on lazy

pinions,over an expanse of water, seem like a chain of

fairies, or bright spiri ts of some E astern tale, descending


gently to earth ; nor do I think this i s an exaggeratedd escription , as all will allow who have seen the flamecoloured cordon on the wing .

Having now been put in the way of do ing thingsaccording to rule, I no longer, as I have before hinted ,molested such ignoble birds and beasts as

,in my state of

innocence, I was won t to destroy . No more did I nailthe unhappy snippets to the bank from my bolio windownor disturb the ’lorn cooings of th e turtle-dove in h erbow er of mango shade

,by a rattling irruption of No . 6

but in asteady, sportsmanlike form, accompanied by Ramdial (who , by the way, had no sinecure of i t) , laden withchattah (umbrella) , game-b ag, and brandy-pawney bottlein leathern case

,and Nuncoo, the dog-keeper, with

Teazer and th e bull dog , I was almost daily in the jheelsand swamps, mud-lai king after the ducks and snipes .The reader will think, probably, and I am not disposed

to question the correctness of his opinion , th at bull-dogsare not the best of the species that can be selected forsnipe-shooting .

Granted,I say again ; but h e will b e pleased to re

member that there are such disagreeable things as tigersand wild boars ( and great bores they are too ) to be metwith in India. It therefore struck me that, in case ofan unexpected rencontre with one or other of these creatures, the hull-dog migh t do good service, by making adiversion in my favour, and in concert wi th Teaz er,attacking the enemy in flank and rear

,keeping him in

check , whilst I fell b ack on the fleet, as many a valiantand experienced general had done before me .Hector, however, though reserved for such importan t

purposes, took no pleasure in the sport ; his heart waswith the fl esh pots of Whitechapel

,and Nuncoo had

sometimes hard work to ge t him through the swampsTeazer behaved better

,and

,indeed

,for a dog of such very

low extracti on,displayed a better nose than I expected .

Happy ! happy days of my griffinage ! first full sw ingof the gun ! none before or since have been like unto


than my friend Tom R attleton, comprising many standardworks on'Ind ian history

,geography, antiqui ties , &c. ; to

these,for he was no monopolist in any shape , b e kindly

gave me free access,and when not occupied by blaz ing

at the snipes, or in aiding Mi ss Belfield in h er graphi coperations

,I found in his library stores an ample fund

of amusement.I pored over the seer ul M utaf

'

chereen, and formed anextensive acquaintance amongst the twelve million godsof the Hindoo Pantheon .

How genuine,how refreshing , by the way, i s the

bonlzomie of the M ahomedan author of the seer ul

M uta/c/zereen ! with what grave simpli ci ty and naw eté

does he relate th e sayings and doings of our valiantcountrymen in the early times of Anglo -Indian history !His comparison of the red Feringhie* soldiers , firing

in battl e , to a long brick wall , belching forth fire and

smoke , i s admirable . And how excellent the story ofBeebee Law

, and the s tern reproof administered to thefawning Asiatic parasi te

,the young noble at Patna, by

the sturdy English commander,when the former tried to

ingratiate himself by insul ting his fallen enemy, thegallant FrenchmanHow striking

,too

,when recording these acts

,the

energy and astoni shment w i th which,as i f irresi stib ly

impelled thereto,he apostrophizes the virtues of the

E nghsh— their high-souled contemp t of death—their

forti tude under reverses,and moderation in success

likening them to the R ustums and N oushervans of old ,Asi ati c types of valour and justi ce ; show ing that thereis a moral sense

,an eternal s tandard of nobleness

,which

no adverse circumstances of habi t,climate

,and education

can wholly obli terate or destroy— that virtue is notwholly conventionalAnd oh admirable O rme thou minute chronicler of

still minuter events,ungrateful , indeed, should I deem

myself, did I not here acknowledge my obligations toEuropean.


An example of the tortuosity of the course of theBagheri ti, and of the way in which both i t and the greatGanges abandon their beds and form new ones, leavingmiles of their former ch annels unoccupied

,or formed into

stagnant l akes, was afforded at Augurdeep, a few miles

from Plassey .

After a long day’s j ourney ( some fifteen or sixteenmiles) , w e observed, to our great surpri se , that we hadhalted wi thin a few hundred yards of the spot from whencewe had set out in themorning, the masts of boats mooredthere being visible across a narrow neck of land , or isthmus, connecting with the main land the peninsul a weh ad been all day circumnavigating .

This isthmus,in after years

,was cut through , the river

beating in full force against i t, leaving, of course , a grea textent of channel dry

,If Clive

’

s vi ctory,therefore, had

left no more las ting memori al than the field on which i twas gained, w e should know but li ttle abou t it .We were d i sappoin ted at our ill success, at least M i ss

Belfield and I ; for the cap tain had an ti cipated that matterswould be as we found them . I

,however, consoled mysel f

w i th a deteunination I had formed,to raise a monument

of the victory a li ttle more durable than the one whichhad just disappeared . I made up my mind to compose apoem, an epic, on the conquest ofBengal Clive, of course ,the hero, and Plassey th e scene ; on which , like the combatants, I propo sed to put forth all my strength .

I had for some days fel t the sti rring of the divineafl atus wi thin me , a sort of boiling and rioting of vastideas ; too vast , alas ! I afterwards found, for utteranceor delivery, for I stuck fast at Immortal Clive .Two or three days more brought us to the station of

Burhampore . The day before w e arrived, Captain Belfield received a letter from an old acquaintance at th estation , one Colonel Heliogabalus Bluff, begging h im tobreakfast and dine wi th him on the morrow , and pass aday or two en roufe . The letter thus concludedI hear you h ave your sister with you shall, of course,

MEMOIR S or A GRIFFIN. 251

be glad to see the Beebee Sahib too send herewi th ad olee, which pray present to her, with my bltote b/zotesalaam.

“ A d olly ,sir

,sai d I , in astonishment, on Captain

Belfield’

s reading thi s passage ;“ that

’

s rather an oddthing to send : he supposes

,I presume

,that Miss Bel

field i s a child .

Captain Belfield was attacked with a most violent fitof laughter on my making th i s remark , and I saw thatI had been once more unwi ttingly griffiniz ing.

When he had a littl e recovered his composure,Gernon

,said b e

,i t will add, perhaps , to your

astonishment when I tell you , that we intend to eat thesai d d olly for dinner, and shall expec t you to partake ofi t.

”

S aying this,he ordered the article to be brought in,

when,instead of a toy, I found the dole c was a basket of

fruit,flowers, and vegetables .Who is the gentleman said Mi ss Belfield , as w e

sat at tea in the evening , from whom you had the letterthis morning

,and to whom we are indebted for all thi s

fine frui tWhy

,Colonel Bluff

,said her brother

,an old fellow

campaigner of mine,a very rough subj ect ; and though

he is my friend ,

’

as M r. Dangle , in The Cri ti c,’

says, Imust acknowledge, a very eccentri c and far from agreeablecharacter.

Oh ! pray describe him fully,sai d his sister I

like much to have an eccentri c character delineated, for,in this age of refinement

,men have become so very much

like one another, that a person marked by any peculi ari tyis as enl ivening as a rock , or o ther bold feature, to thesight, after having been long .wearied by the mono tonyof a low and level landscape do

,pray, g ive us a sketch

of him.

Well , then, the colonel i s a stout, sturdy John Bull,underbred and overfed, combining with the knock-medown bluntness of that character, as i t once existed more


strongly than at present, and a double allow ance of allh is ordinary prejudices, th e g ourmand er z

’

e and frivoli tywhich an idle life in India is too ap t to engender in th every best o f us .

He reverses the rule , that we ought to eat to l ive , forhe lives to eat, and much of hi s time i s o ccupied in devi sing dishes

,or superintending his farm -

yartl, educatinghis fat China pigs

,and looking after his tealery, and

quai lery and sheep .

He has a constant supply always pouring in for himfrom Calcutta , of exotic and expensive lux uries fi b eer,ch ampagne

,pine cheeses

,Yorkshire hams

,Perigord pies

,

pigs’ cheeks , and the like—o fwhich he is certainly liberalenough for no prince can be prouder than he i s whenat the head of his table

,making his gastronomical di s

p lays ; in short, b e greatly prides himself on the surp assing excellence of his breakfasts and dinners , thoughthose who p artake of them must often

,as their price

,

submit quie tly to all hi s coarseness and brutali ty of manner. Folks in India do not generally trouble themselvesmuch about Engli sh poli ti cs ; at least, not so far as toidenti fy themselves strongly with the sects and partieswhich are everlastingly worrying each other at home, andwho remind me of vultures and j ackals here over acarcase .Colonel Bluff i s, however, an exception to th e rule,

and has always set himself up for a great church -andking man

,and a violent high Tory

,delighting in talking

of such subj ects . He i s a terrib ly v iolent fellow, andw hen excited by a few glasses of w ine

,pounds the table,

and makes the glasses dance again,as he denounces all

Whiggery and Radicalism .

With all his faul ts, how ever, and he has more thanan ordinary share

,he possesses a good deal of Mi ss

Hannah More’

s standing dish , good -nature’

(providedhe has everything his own way) ; and, indeed, but forthis redeeming trait

,he would be utterly unbearable .

Mi ss Belfield said she was curious to see this singular


compound of ban m’

uant and , politician,a feeling in

which I ex pressed my hearty participation .

Youmust be on your guard how you comport yourself before him ,

Gernon,

” said the captain , for I assure

youh e show s no mercy to gritfins, cutting them up righ tand left, when once he commences, wi th most unmerci

fully rough raillery .

He had better leave me alone , said I , wi th rather aformidable shake of the head I

’

m not under his command , youknow,

sir,and may give him a Rowland for

h is O liver .You’d better not attempt i t, my dear fellow, replied

the captain ; he has demolished many a stouter griffinth an you are .

The next morning we reached the station of Burhampore

,and a li ttle before we brought to ,

I observed , approach ing the banks , a very stout, burly officer, follow edby an orderly sepoy

,whilst a bearer held a ch attah, or

umbrella,over his head . It was impossible to b e mi s

taken— this must b e Colonel Bluff.K z

'

s/za budj ra llyr ? (whose boat i s th atB z

’

lfi l S ah ib lea (Captain Belfield’

s) , replied aservant .

Ship aboy Belfield , get up, you lazy dog, shoutedthe stout gentleman , w i th the voice of a S tentor.The captain ran out in his dressing-gown , and my

suspicions w ere at once confirmed ; i t was, indeed, thecolonel ; and a lively greeting now passed betweenthem .

“Well,th en

,so you

’

ve deserted Java cut the Dutchmen, eh -and come back to the Qui-Hye

’

s —theyseem to h ave used youw ell, though you aint half sucha lantern‘ljaw

’

d,herring -gutted - looking fellow as youused

to b e—haw haw ! You were,I recollect, when you

j oined us first, as thin as a ha’

porth o’

soap after a h ardday

’

s washing .

’

as my fa ther’

s old north coun try gardenerused to say— haw ! hawComplimentary and refined, as usual, I see, colonel


I can’

t congratulate you on any materi al alteration inthat respect.

“Why, man , you don’

t expec t me to complimentold friend like you, do you?

‘ with compliments cramn i ed

,

’

you know the rest—haw ! haw ! But,come

,stir

your stumps, man ! stir your stumps ! breakfast’s all

ready up yonder, and as capital a ham for you as youever stuck your teeth in. I wai t b reakfast for no man

,

woman, or child living ; you know me of old . Talkingof women

,where

’

s the Beebee ? where’

s si ster ? she’

llcome

,won

’

t she ? My compts—Colonel Bluff ’s compts—glad to see her ; always proud to do the honours tothe ladies . But who have you got in that boat astern

,

Belfield ?“ Oh

,i t

’

s a young friend of mine, Ensign Gernon ,going to j oin hi s regiment, under our convoy and protectlon.

Oh ! a grifi'

, eh l a greenhorn : hungry as a hunter,I ’ll b e sworn ; bring him along w i th you, bring him along,and we

’

l l fill him out . Rare fellows, your griffs, to playa knife and fork—rare trencher-men . I

’

d sooner keepsome of them a week than a fortnight—haw ! haw !But colonel

,had you no t better take your breakfas t

w i th us ? i t'

s ready, and then we’

ll walk Up and spendthe rest of the day with you .

“ Breakfast with you ! No, hang me if I do : d’

yemean to insul t me

,sir ? What ! a man, after a voyage,

w i th h ardly a sho t in his locker, ask a gentleman onshore

,wi th a Yorkshire ham on his table

,to breakfast

w i th him ! never heard such a proposal in all my life !No

,come

,come along, or I must march you all up under

a file of Jacks .All th is

,which I overheard very distinctly, and which

was uttered at the top of an i ron pair of lungs, was int ended for heartiness and j oculari ty . No doubt therewas kindness in i t , and with mortals as rough as himself,i t migh t doubtless h ave answered very well ; but th ecap tain

,I could see, evidently winced under the inflic


burly King Hal person filling his capaci ous arm-ch airfigure a li ttle obliqued , a napkin over hi s knee , and thebottles in array before him

,the j olly colonel looked the

very personification of absoluti sm and animali sm .

Gentlemen,fill your gl asses Church and King !

and after th at w hat you will . Pass the bottle, Belfield fill

up a bumper ; come, a brimmer ; no dayligh t, si r ; noneof y our Whiggery here ; I thought you had left all thato ff

“ I'

ll drink any thing you please, colonel ; but I fearour po li ti cs are w ider apart than ever .You

’

re not becoming a follow er of that rascal TomPaine

,are you ? I know you used to dabble in all sorts

of books,and were but a few degrees off i t—a republican ,

i rreligious scoundrel—gone to the d l, I h0pe , as hedeserves—a fellow th at had no respect for roy alty, andwould have upse t

,if he could , our holy religion, an in

fernal v illainWhy

,you are w arm

,colonel , observed a middle

aged officer ; may I ask when you took so keenly topoli ti cs

“ Yes, you may ask , said Bluff ; but i t depends uponme whether I answer y ou— haw ! haw ! Come, fill yourglass and pass the bottle

,and don

’

t ask questions— haw !haw haw !Never d id I see so rough a specimen of humani ty .

How h e talked , l aughed , thumped the table, and laiddown the law

,in the exercise o f his unenvi able immuni ty

An in cid en t occurred after dinner,whi ch displayed in

a strong ligh t the violence of Bluff s character, especiallytowards the natives, and his perfect di sregard of thefeelings of hi s company .

A s the bottles w ere placed before him by the apdar, orbutler

,a very respectable-looking bearded M ahomedan

,

something in their arrangement d ispleased our host, who,pointing w i th h is fore-finger to one o f them

,exclaimed,

Yee Iced Icy? (what i s thi s

The unfortunate domesti c bent forward his h ead,

MEMOIR S or A GRIFFIN . 257

though evidently in fear, to scrutinize the damage, whenhe received a back-handed blow in the month from thecolonel

,which rung through the room

,and sent him stag

gering backwards,minus hi s turban, wh ich had fallen

from the shock .

The man—I shall never forget it—stooped and pickedup hi s turban ; replaced it on his noble-looking headh is face was livid from a sense of the insult he put hishand to his mouth

,and looked at it

,there was blood

upon i t.The company appeared and were disgusted ; even Bluff,

I thought, seemed ashamed of himself. Well it i s thatthese things are becoming rare !But enough of the colonel, of whom thi s sketch may

give as good an idea as a more elaborate description. O f

such characters there were a few ,and but a few

,in the

Indian army, and it i s to be hoped their number i s fast

CHAPTER XXI.

WE remained the following day, and accompanied thecolonel

,and one or two of his officers

,to a grand enter

tainment, given by the Nawaub of Bengal, at his palaceof M oorshedabad , in honour of the festival of the Baird .

The whole station had , I believe, received invitations ,through the Governor-Greneral’s agent at the court of hi shighness, and a grand spectacle was expected .

We left Burhampore, in a landau , in the afternoon ,and after

.an agreeable drive through a level and wooded

coun try,partly on the margin of a considerable l ake

,

called the Mctee Jheel,reached the ci ty of M oorsh edabad ,

and en tering a lofty gateway , found ourselves in theenclosure or domain in whi ch the nawaub

’

s p alace issituated .


Thi s buildi ng is a lofty struc ture, in the Europeanstyle, on the banks of the river, and bears the name ofthe Aina M ai d

,which , if I am not in error, means the

Palace of Mirrors.”

The whole scene was animated and striking, and particularly so to me, being the first thing of the kind I hadseen in India.Groups of ri chly -dressed M ahomedans, exhibiting a

grand d i splay of shawls,turbans and j ewels ; retainers

and connections of the nawaub ,or d ignified inh abitants

of the city ; armed men, attired in the picturesque costume of the native sol diery of India

,with shi elds, swords,

and matchlocks ; Abyssinian slaves, and Bengalese intheir flow ing muslin rob es, consti tuted the native portionof the assembly . Amongst these were a numerous bodyof English officers, in their scarlet uniforms, and ladi eselegantly dressed .

O n the terrace of the noble house,overlooking the

Bagh iri ti , stood the nawaub and his little court, theirj ewels and muslins contrasting wi th the plain blue coatand simple garb of the Governor-Greneral

’

s agent andother civi lians about him.

Tables were l aid ou t in the palace , profusely coveredwith wines and refreshments

,in the European style ; old

hands and grifiins, fai r sex and civil i ans, seemed alldetermined to enj oy themselves

,and to give his nabob

ship a benefit ; to sweat his claret, as a slight ofi-set tothe sweating his ancestors had given to ours in the Black

“Hole of C al cutta .In the courts or pavilions be low,Pulwahns, or athletes,

exhibi ted feats of strength ; j ugglers displayed theirtricks, and two or three mimics enacted the sale of ahorse to an Indian Johnny Raw

,a sort of Brentford

tailor, as far as I was able to j udge from their action ,express i on , and the applause they eli ci ted from the b ystanders, w i th great humour and effect .As night drew on, the whole place was illuminated,

exhib iting a blaze of ligh t the party, native and Euro


face farthest from the river ; that nearest to i t i s a continuous range of handsome houses and gardens, withcolonnades and verandahs, occupied by civi lians andsuperior mili tary officers.

There are also other ranges of buildings running per

pendicular to the river, partly barracks and in partofficers

’

quarters . The whole i s separated from theBagh iriti by a broad bund , or esplanade . The sepoylines are about a mile inland

,but the officers reside in

the quarters, or in the fine bungalows scattered about .The scene here in the evening was very lively soldiers

exercising in the square ; officers riding on horseback, ordriving in gigs ; the band playing on the esplanade ;groups promenading ; in short, I was pleased w i th thep lace, and should have had no obj ection to have terminatedmy voyage there .The morning of our departure, w e were besieged by the

vendors of silk piece-goods and handkerchiefs, as also ofivory toys and chessmen

,for both of whi ch this place

and its neighbour, Cossim B az ar, have acquired a great

reputation .

Some of the chessmen shown us were large beyond anything of the kind I had ever seen before ; so much so

,

th at to play with an irascible man with such ponderousand massive pieces migh t be unsafe .The natives of Indi a

,i t appears to me

,though pos

sessed of infinite perseverance and ingenuity, have nonatural taste (at least, if they h ave any, it greatly wantscultivati on ) ; as respects progress in the fine arts, theyappear on a par with our Anglo-S axon ancestors at thetime of the Conquest

,and their sculpture

,carving , and

p ainting ( and probably their music) , i n their leading andmore marked peculi arities and defects, bear a considerableresemblance to those of such remains as we have of theolden time of England . It i s

,however

,probable that

the rude dawni ngs of knowledge are everywhere prettymuch alike , though marked with more or less of nativevigour and genius .


O i perspective, proportion, &c., they know l ittl e ornothing, and of this we had amusing examples, b oth inthe carving and some pictures which were here offered usfor sale, and which latter, in the ri chness of their coloursand gilding

,brought strongly to mind the illuminations

of old missals, excep t that, in the false perspective andutter disregard of proportion

,they beat them completely,

outdoing Hogarth’

s i llustration of that ludicrous con

fusion into whi ch an ignorance of these things is wont tolead the graphic tyro : full views at once of three sidesof a square bui lding

,flat roof inclusive, visible from

below chiefs,in gorgeous apparel, seated on carpets as

l arge as the adj oining garden,and holding “ posies to

their noses ; antelopes scampering over hills somewhatsmaller than themselves groups of figures taller thanthe buildings

,with di slocated limbs

,and legs like wooden

stocking stretchers water reversing the laws of hydrostatics

,and running up-hill, and obj ects increasing with

the distance.Mi ss Belfield

’

s critical eye was shocked by these performances

,though otherwise amused ; and for my part,

I do no t thi nk I enj oyed a heartier laugh since I was a

griffin.

S o completely vi ti ated is the native eye, by beingaccustomed to these deformities

,that the maj ori ty of

Indians can often make little or nothing of a Europeandrawing ; and I have often, in my post-griflinish days,seen one of them take a pencil sketch in his hand, turni t round about this way and that, and finally settle to itsexamination when upside downw ards .The Hindus

,in these respects

,seem more deficient

than the M ahomedans, though , l ike the ancient Egypti ans,in th eirg hauts, temples, and other works , they exhib i t thevast and minute in perfection , showing what numbers andperseverance can effect wi thout the aid of taste .The Bagh iriti, at Burhampore, narrows at the com

mencement of the cold season to w moderately broadstream

,and was now fast falling, so that we were led to


suppose some difficulty in getting in to the great Gangesat the point of j unction , some days

’

journey higher up .

Sometimes this part becomes absolutely impracticable forl arge boats , which are then obliged to effect the passageby another branch .

As we approached the great river,our j ourney became

rather one by land than by water. The river had fallento the d epth of a few inches in some parts, we were pushedby main force, by our indefatigable dandies, over sandyshallows

,of miles in extent .

This was a labour,however

,to which they had evi

dently been accustomed, and most philosophically d id

they set about i t planting their backs against the broadDutch-built stern of the budgerow

,they worked us along

by almost imperceptible degrees,w i th insufferable yelling,

groaning,and grunting

,varied occasionally by the mono

tony of Tana Tooney lay yakAfter a d os-ci-d osing i t in thi s style for some days, we

had at length the sati sfaction to find ourselves fairlybacked ou t of the scrape, and riding in the Ganges .The Ganges ! S trange were my emotions as I gazed on

the broad expanse of that famed and once mysteriousriver

,with whose name were associ ated so many of my

early ideas of Brahmins, Gentoos, burning widow s , andstrange idolatries Alas ! the romance of th e world i s fastdeparting . S team, commerce, and conquest, are makingall things common, and so on they w il l leave no soli taryspot on this globe of ours where the imagination may revelundisturbed amidst dim uncertainties and barbari c originalities. There wants but a gin-shop on Mount Ararat

,or

a spinning-j enny on O lympus, to complete the work ofdesecration .

A day or two more brough t as in sigh t of the bluemountains , or hills of Rajmahal, a great relief to the eye,after having been so long accustomed to the unvaryinglevel of Bengal .The low lands at the foo t of these bills are well stocked

with game, the neighbouring j ungles afford ing them


had no time to reflect on the danger of provoking suchenemy

,in such a place—no rock, stump, or coign of

vantage, behind which I could have evaded his charge ,had he made one—but instantly poured the contents ofmy b arrel into his acousti c organ, at the distance of twoor three yards . But the fellow was almost as tough asthe alligator

,whose end I formerly described : the shot

produced apparently not the slightest effect beyond a shakeof the head and a quickening of his pace .Away he went over the country, floundering through

the mud and pools in great style, Teazer, for some distance

,hard on his heels, but with no serious intention, I

imagine,of catching such a Tar tar .

Had the brute resented the earwigging I gave him,as

h e might easily have done, a pretty little white cenotaph ,on the nearest eminence,

“H iefacetFrank Gernon,” and

an invi tation to the humane traveller to drop a tear in passing, would h ave been the probable resul t.After bagging one or two more chiko rs, I proceeded to

the foot of the hills, or rather of a spur proceeding fromthem

,and soon found myself on the skirts of a most

tigerish-looking j ungle : tall yellow grass,sombre pools

,

with reedy margins, in terspersed with irregul ar patches ofbush and tree j ungle, ramifying from the densely-woodedhills above . I would no t have insured a cow there, for acouple of hours, for ninety-nine and a half per cent . of hervalue .I paused ere I ventured to plunge into these dreary

coverts ; but my hesi tation was but momentary. It i s anestablished fact that, in love, war, or the chase, wherever

'danger presents itself,Grifiins rush in,

Where old hand s fear to tread .

Besides,there were Teazer and the bull, and half-a-dozen

black fellows, ready p icked , constituting long odds in

my favour,even should a hungry tiger appear .

In short,I entered

,and was soon forcing my way, gun


in hand, through this most peri lous locali ty, my heart inmy mouth, and in a feveri sh sort of tip-toe expectationthat, in a second, I might find myself hurried 011, d laM unro

,by the waistband of my breeches .

Things stood thus,my party a li ttle scattered, and all

advancing through the reedy margin of a winding piece ofwater (well stocked with alligators, I had not the slightestdoubt ) , when a shout, a yelp from Teazer, a violent rush ,a glimpse of some animal

,an instinctive discharge of my

gun, and a huge hog-deer rolled head-over-heels at myfeet ; all the work of an instant, into which was compressed as much alarm (for verily I thought i t was oneof the royals) as would have served (diluted into anxiety)for seasoning six months

’

ordinary exi stence .Truly proud was I of my exploit

,as the hog-deer,

doubled -up, lay ki cking at my feet, in the agonies of death .

By a fortunate chance, I had lodged the whole charge ofsho t under his shoulder.N ever was griffin more elated . What will the cap

tain now say ? ”thought I ;

“ no more j eers or undervaluing of my sporting qualifications after this !My first care now

,after slinging the deer, was to get

out of the j ungle—for this successful feat had given anew relish to exi stence

,and I felt indisposed to run more

ri sks . His legs were soon tied a young tree was cut ,and thrust through them and

,supported by four men, I

proceeded in triumph to my budgerow.

“Well, M r. Gernon , you have indeed been fortunatethis time, said Miss Belfield .

The kind captain also congratulated me on my success,but warned me against venturing on foot in such placesagain, as, in fact, I had really incurred considerable ri sk.

In return, I favoured them with a detailed account of mywhole day

’

s operations.The hog-deer, being a very bulky animal, served to

feast the whole crew and domestics,his throat having been

out when he fell, wi thout which operation no M ahomedan

would have touched him . We also had some collops of


the flesh , which were tolerably good,though not to

'

b e

compared to an English haunch of venison .

I am not wri ting a book of travels,so shall touch bu t

ligh tly on the scenes and occurrences which presentedthemselves on our subsequen t route to Dinapore , wheremy friends and I parted—they remaining there

,I,after a

time , continuing my onward course to the capi tal of theMoguls .

Hitherto , our route had lain through Bengal , a countryof mud huts and inundations ; but w e were now approaching a higher level

,and one inhabited by a finer race

,

living in a superior climate,and where the M ahomedan

spiri t, which approaches nearer to our own, has imparted itsmore enduring traces in the shape of substantial towns,and more lasting, though still decaying monuments andedifices. Captain Belfield had excited our curiosi ty byh is account of the ruins of Rajmahal

,the some time tran

sient capi tal of Bengal,during the reign of the Emperor

Aurungz eb e, and we consequently indulged in pleasinganticipations of the rambling and sketching we were toenj oy there .It was evening when we approached that place the

sun was setting gloriously on the Ganges as we mooredour boats in a li ttle bay near the ruins , on one horn ofwhich stood an old grey mosque, parti al ly hidden bytangled shrubs and j ungle

,and the tapering and feathery

bamboo— one,perhaps

,of the greatest and most striking

ornaments of Indi anscenery .

“ William ,

”

said Miss Belfield,

“ you must positi velyremain here to-morrow, for I can never consent to leaveall these fine old ruin s unsketched behind me .Her brother willingly consented to her w i sh , and a

delightful day of i t we had , rambling, pencil in hand,amongst decaying mosques and d ilapidated p alaces,where the voi ce of the imaun

,or the sounds of revelry,

had long given place to the hootings of that mocker ofhuman vani ty

,the owl .

There are not,in the whole round of the feelings and


With inthe Harem’

s latticed screen,Where beauty once its radiance shed,

No bright eyes, save the ow l’s are seenThe rank green jungle rears its head.

A carcanet of gems—the snakeLies coil’d w here jewell

’

d beauty prest,Unw inding, seeks the tangled brake,O r fierce erects his horrid crest.

Columnand arch, w ith sculpture traced ,Crush

’

d by the peepul’

s*ci rcling folds,

Like wri thing Laocoonembraced,Art dies—and nature empire holds.

Hail, sombre fabric type of life

Once gay and smiling, now forlornWreck of thyself, w ith ruinri fe,O i all thy first attractions shorn.

Like some volcano—dead its firesHere now no more the passions rage

Ambition, hate , or fierce desiresLong past—no longer conflicts wage.

Sadly thoub reath ’

st the moral old ,E arth’s vanities—man’

s chequer’d lot,

By seers and sages often told,In li fe’

s herce tumults soon forgot.As o

’

er the mould’

ring w recks of timeWith si lent step we pensive steal,

Inevery land, inevery clime,0h say, w hence spring those thoughts w e feel ?

Why hush’

d th e passions ? touch ’

d the heartWhat prompts naall our state to scan2

What animates each better partWhy breathe w e love and peace to man?

’Tis that awh i le wi thdrawn from cares

Earth’

s cares, Wi th strife and sorrow fraught,S weet contemplati on low ly bearsHer treasures to the mint of thought.

In such a frame—instilly toneWaked fancy hears these words ex prest ,O h, pilgrim this is not your home,Look upwards for thy place of rest.

”

A tear trembled in Mi ss Belfield’

s eye as she read herbrother

’

s verses ; they had touched some tender chord,and the feelings they expressed were evidently in uni son

Peepul (Ficus religiosa) entw ines its si lveryand tortuous roots aroundold buildings, and hastens their destruction.


with her own; sh e arose and retired to her cabin, herhead slightly averted, to conceal her emotion . As sh epassed, the captain fondly stretched out his hand towardsher she seized and pressed it—i t was all the commentaryshe made.The ruins of Rajmahal are not very extensive, nor are

the buildings of any extraordinary magnitude or beautynevertheless

,some mosques

,and t wo or three old gate

ways,in the Moori sh style of architecture, which seems

everywhere to have preserved i ts origi nal character—fromDelhi to Morocco— are highly picturesque .Captain Belfield , who was well acquainted with the

place and its history, acted as our Cicerone , pointing outthe most remarkable buildings amongst these, by far themost considerable was the palace erected by that craftyand most consummate villain Aurungz eb e, of which thereare some very considerable remains , halls , baths, courts,&c., also the tomb of M eerun, the assassin of SurajahDowlah .

Rajmahal was the residence and capital of the unfortunate Sultan Sujab ,

one of the brothers of Aurungzebs .

The tragi c end of this prince,amongst the wilds of Arra

can , is touchingly related by the accurate historian Bernier,whose history of this family is a perfect romance . Therelator has traversed the wild forests in Arracan towardsM yamootie, where the hapless Mogul prince is supposedto have met his fate .There are M ahomedans naturalized in Arracan, wh o

di ffer in many respects from the aborigines, though theywear a similar garb . They are supposed to be descendants of those followers of Sul tan Sujah , who escaped themassacre described by Bernier, and were retained inslavery by the M ugh s .

When the city of Arracanwas captured by the Briti sh ,the head of the M ahomedan inhabitants, singularlyenough

,bore the name of S ujah . The wri ter remembers

h im well,and a wily fe llow he was , playing, on the

approach of the army,a well-managed double game, with


Bri tish and Burmese, which was to b enefit himself, whichever party succeeded .

Poor Sultan Sujah ! the howl ing forests of Arracanmust h ave presented a melancholy contrast to the marbleh alls of the palace of Aurungz eb e ! Like Sebasti an ofPortugal ( to whose fate his own bore some resemblance ) ,he was long believed to be alive

,and fondly looked for by

his adherents in India,and several impostors appeared to

personate him.

Rajmahal has long fallen from i ts p almy state,and what

remains of the town is ruinous, and thinly inhabited .

Leaving thi s place , we continued our route, having thewoody ranges of bills on our l eft

,at various distances

from the bank of the river .At S icrigully, a low spur of the h ills touches the

Ganges, crowned at i ts eminence wi th an old mosque ortomb ; beneath i s a small bungalow, for travellers, andhard by, a straggling village .Here I was gratified by the sigh t of a brother sports

man, in the person of an Indian hunter, or shekarri . He

was a li ttle,spare , black creature, a native of th e hills (a

race perfectly distinct from the people of the plains ) ,armed with a matchlock, whilst sundry bags and pouchesadorned his person . He brough t a fawn and a brace ofjungle fow ls, which he offered for a rupee , and someEnglish powder and sho t.The jungle fowl are the domestic cock and hen in a

wild state , of which there are many varieties in the E ast,though they are not often found in the j ungles far beyondthe tropics . The plumage of the cock bird i s ri ch

,varied

,

and beautiful, far more so than th at of the civilized chanticleer the hens

,however, are generally of a uniform dun

or slate colour,having callow b luish wattles, and spots of

the same colour around the aural orifices. These werethe first I had ever seen

,though I had heard them in the

S underbunds, and was no t a little surprised to l earn fromthe captain that they were not only game

,b ut capital

shooting also, and what to many may be considered a


cause which ob tained him his present celebri ty. The p articulars of the legend I have forgotten .

The fakeer assured the cap tain,that not only was the

memory of the saint venerated by man,but that i t was

also held in great respect by the wild beasts of the adj oining Jungles, parti cularly by the tigers, one of whom cameregularly every Friday nigh t, and swep t up the floor of thedurgah wi th his tail.I t happened that the day of our vi si t was the very one

on which the tiger was wont to perform thi s office ; Captain Belfield told the fakeer th at he had a great desire towitness it, and had some intention of si tting up for thepurpose . The fakeer assured him,

h owever,that it would

b e utterly useless, for the animal had such an insuperableaversion for all but true believers

,that

,if any other were

near , he would certainly not make his appearance .*

The next day we passed Puttergatta, a woody promincnoc

,where there are some caves

,and a pretty white

Hindoo temple . I went on shore to examine them ,

and found ChattermohunGhose paying his respects toa many-armed god

,wi th goggle eyes

,and a vermilion

mouth, seated far back in the dim recess of a temple .I have already hinted

,that I h ad a regard for Chatter

mohun,so I though t this a favourable opportuni ty for

converting him to Chri stianity,which I forthwith set myself

about to achieve, breaking ground by a few pungent sneersat his idol . I found Chattermohun, however, a dough typolemic

,and did not make the impression I expected .

“ Master will believe what master’s father and motherhave teach him for true Hindoo man do same thing .

S’

pose I make change,then wi ll lose caste—no one ispeh

to me ; this very bad thing too much for family man .

”

There was no making anything of him he was ob sti

nate, so I gave him up. I must not,however, omi t one

li ttle incident,which my proselytiz ing efforts elicited .

“Master tel l Hindoo reli gion got too many god—too

A fact.

manoms O F A GRIFFIN . 273

much veneration for image . Master’s Europe religionhave plenty god too .

“ What do you mean,you foolish fellow ? ” said I .

You don’t know what youare talking about .”

Yes, sare , I know very well. I one Europe book go ttell all about that.”

To cut the matter short,Chattermohun afterwards

showed me h is book , which was the Roman Pantheon, w i thcuts representing the deities of OlympusPassing the two picturesque rocks of Colgong, which

stand out in the river,bold ly breasting i ts current, we in

due time reached the headland of Sultangunge, oppositeto which i s the romantic islet of Junghera, with its whitetemple and curious sculptures.Here our budgerow was boarded by two sturdy beggars,

who levy contributions from all passers-b y one of whomwas the Hindoo fakeer from the rock , the other his Mahomedan vis-d-m

’

s, of the main land , ministers of rivalcreeds

,b ut agreed on that poin t on which w e everywhere

find an astonishing unanimity, the aurz’

sacrafames .

The M ahomedan fakeer was a very venerable old man,with a long beard . He was seated on a decked portionof the boat , a tiger—skin spread beneath h im ; a disciplein very good case, row ing the boat.

M r. Gernon ,” sai d M iss Belfield to me, the next

morning , the scene of yesterday has induced me to trymy poetic pow ers . Here,

” said she,handing me a manu

scrip t “ I have courted the Muse with somewhat moresuccess than you did at Plassey . Pray read this, and giveme your O pimon.

EVENING O N THE GANGE S .’

Ti s eve by Ganges palm-clad shoreNow lightly sounds the dipping car,As slow it breaks w ith sparkling gleamTh e molten silver of the stream .

And list ! asong, infitfulnotes,S oft o’

er the tranquil current floats,

274 mnmoms O F A GRIFFIN.

M ingling its cadence, as it dies,With the lone banz a’

s* mournful cries

(Sad cries, which, wafted on the gale,S eem like some pensive spirit’s wai lThe mullah’

s l' song, ere, toi l-oppress’d ,He seeks h is nook and evening rest.Afar Junghera

’

s rocky isle ,Crown

’

d by the tapering temple’

s pile.Ourolls the sacred tide its courseM ajestic from its mountain-source,Afar in d im and mystic gladesWhich nought save pilgrim’

s foot invades,’Midst ice-bound glens, w here, cold and lone,Himaleh rears h is snowy throne,H igh over realms chaotic hurled,The monarch of the mountain-world ;Whilst, far away, asheeted throngO f spectral peaks hi s state prolongCold, death-like, mutes onhigh they stand,E ternal nature’s pageant band.

R eceiving homage as it goes,Onward the mighty current flows,Dispensing, as wi th regal hand,I ts bounteous blessings o’

er the landType of that pow er whose mercies flowO

’

er all this w ildering scene below .

But ah too oft i tsnoble tideBy horrid sacrifices dyed,Whilst bright self-immolating pyresS hed o’

er th e stream their flickering fires.

N ow from cool groves, whose mellow shadesN o prying ray of light invades,The low , fond cooings of the doveTell ’

tis the hour of peace and loveAnd light-w inged z ephyrs gently playO

’

er the Mimosa’

s quivering Spray.

The setting sun its parting gleamSheds over Gunga’s sacred stream,

Which seems to blush as waning lightConsigns her to the arms of night ;And many amosque and idol-faneR eflect the crimsonhue of shame,Which slow ly seems to eb b awayThe vital tide of dying day.

Th e hunza, or b raminy duck. They fly incouples, have a plainti vecry, and are considered emblems of constancy b y the natives.

the Majnoon and Lei laof the stream . The hunza is the ensignof the

Burman, as was the eagle of the R omanempire.1‘ M allah—boatman.


dulous natives, filled a few bottles with the water, whichi s remarkable for its puri ty, and I believe medicinal virtues

( though , as I was no t much of a water-fancier at thattime

,I rather give this on report than from actual ex peri

ence ) , we soon reached the ancient fortress ofMonghyr, aplace whi ch cuts a considerable figure in Indian history,although more celebrated in modern times as the seatof an extensive manufactory of tea-kettl es, turn- screws

,

toasting-forks, &c., as also of fire arms, after Europeanmodels .These guns have occasionally winged a few griffs,

and have consequently a bad name,though the vendors

are willing to prove them in your presence . Nevertheless,though dirt-cheap, they are not often bought , except bythe very green . There i s no enj oyment in a suspectedgun

,any more than in a doubtful egg .

O ubringing to at the ghaut, we perceived a regimentof chapmen

,all eager to present their wares . One fellow

carried a huge tea-kettle, another a double-barrelled gun,

a third a chafing-dish and a handful of toasting-forks, a.fourth a cage of beautiful green and blue birds from thehills

,850.

With these gentry I drove several b argains,assisted by

Ramdial,who afterwards had to figh t a few stout battles

on his own account for dustoor z'

e, or customary perqui sites,

claimed,though unwillingly allowed, on all di sbursements

in India.A rare stock of valuables I had on leaving M onghyr,

including three cages of birds, one of avidavats, all swep toff

,some time after, by a terrible ep idemic, which found

i ts way amongst them .

Here I observed, for the first time, a pecul i ar mode ofcap turing the river turtle ; several natives paddled a lightdingy or canoe along, one standing in the prow, with alight dart or harpoon in his hand presently I saw a hugeturtle raise his head above the water, and in an instan t theharpooner flung his light weapon, having a cord attached,which reached its obj ect with an unerring aim all was


now hustle, and in a few minutes I saw them haul in aturtle, which, as far as looks went, migh t have made analderman

’

s mouth water.As I am on the subj ect of harpooning

,I may here

menti on a somewhat simi lar mode in which the nativescatch the mullets . These fish , the most deli cious andhighly prized of the Ganges

,swim in shoals in the shal

lows, with their heads partly above the surface of th ewater : the shape of which , by the way, and position ofthe large eyes, give themmuch the appearance of serpents- indeed, the first I saw

,I took for a brood of water

snakes .The dandie, or fisherman, whoever the sportsman may

he, follows them in a crouching atti tude, having in hishand a long light bamboo

,terminating in a number of un

barbed Spikes,fastened on like the head of a painting

brush ; and when within striking distance, he launchesthis slantingly amongst the shoal

,transfix ing one or two

fish, perhaps, whilst the rest dive or swim and soon

re appear with their heads as before,above the w ater, and

slow ly stemming the current. I used to watch this Operation with great interest

, but could never make anythingof i t myself

,though I often essayed .

The fort of Monghyr is of vast exten t,though the

walls are now in ad ecayed and dilapidated state ; withinthe wide area are tanks

,bungalows

,and some fine houses

on rising grounds,commanding fine views of the ruins,

and the distant w oods and hills,whi ch latter here presen t

a rather bold and serrated outline .A few days more

,and w e were gliding past the great

M ahomedancity ofPatna,and in a short time after we found

ourselves moored off the military cantonment of Dinapore—a second edition of Burhampore—and the station of abrigade of troops

,European and native .

Here are two fine squares of officers’

quarters and barracks, with numerous bungalows to the rear of them,

somewhat similar in their disposition and appearance tothose at Burhampore.

278 ‘Mnmoms or A GRIFFIN .

Here,as I before mentioned , I was destined to part with

my kind and amiable compani ons, who were engaged tovisit a friend at Patna for a month before proceeding totheir ultimate destination . Our leave-taking was markedby unequivocal proofs that we had become dear to oneanother ; and both gave me little tokens of their remembrance.

CHAPTER XXII.

O N the evening of my arrival at Dinapore, I was sittingon the roof of my boat, observing the d o bees, or washermen, thumping their clothes, natives clean ing their teethwith primitive tooth-brushes of sti ck, and other similarsights which diversify the animating scene of an Indianghaut

,when the d i stant and inspiring strains of a full

mili tary band broke upon my ear . Egad thought I,

there’s some fun going on a promenade, no doubt, wi thall the beauty and fashion of Dinapore assembled I

’

ll

go and see .I ordered Ramdial to bring out the jubba wallacoorlz

'

e

( the laced J acket ) , which had never yet graced my personin any publi c assembly. A splendid thing i t was, wi th ahuge silver epaulet, and tasti ly turned up with a brimstone-coloured lapelle I though t there could hardly bei ts fellow in all Dinap

ore . A neat whi te waistcoat,crim

son sash ( ti ed in a d egagé knot under th e fifth rib ) , coateeover all

,hat a shade on one side

,and flourish ing a clean

bandanna in my hand,with a sprinkling of lavender upon

i t, me w ild , an ensign of the first water.I soon reached the scene of attraction in the principal

square , and a li vely scene it was . There were congregated groups of officers

, chatting and laughing aroundbelles seated in tonjons ; others , three or four abreast,promenading backwards and forwards

,hands behind them

,


grasping my hand ; why whaur the dickens are youfromI soon satisfied him

,and he told me he was now

doing duty wi th a regiment . at Dinapore,and li ved in a

bungalow not very far off.

Are you alone, Grundy said I .

Alone !”

replied my fri end with a sigh ; oh, no ;there are six of us in the bungalow—Griff Hall , as theycall i t all young hands , none of us a year in thecountry , and a tearing life w e lead i t does not sui t meat all, though , and I mean to leave them as soon as Ican get another place and a quie t man to chum with .

Yes,I know your pacific habits, Grundy, and

wonder how you got amongst such a set who and whatare they

“ Why,there

’

s first, M r. M cS creechum, an assistantsurgeon three infantry ensigns, besides myself, and aLieut . Fireworker

,* of arti llery . I think they are all

mad , par ti cularly the doctor, for such a man for mischiefI nev er met with in all my born days . But, Gernon ,lad

, I hope you will stay for a day or two, at leastf’

sai dh e

, slapping me on the shoulder for i t glads myheartto see you again , man .

I accepted Grundy’

s invitati on, and we proceeded toGriff Hall .We found the doctor

,with two or three others

,on the

chabootm, or terrace, of the bungalow , all laughing and

Joking . The former,a buge fellow

,si x feet tw o, wi th a

freckled face and a carroty poll , in the act of compiunding a glass of brandy-and-w ater. Grundy presentel meas his fri end on th e way to jo in my regiment .

Glod to see ye, si r glod to see ye, said the do'

ttor,presenting me his shoulder-of—mutton hand ;

‘

w e’

ll use

youweel at Griff Hall, sir, and eeneetiate ye intoo o or

E leuseenianmesteries . What’

s for dinner,Larking?

said b e, turning to a slender, pale youth, in a red camletSub -lieuts, of artillery, a few years ago, w ere called Lieut. Flr e

w orkers th e rank is now abolished .

m now e O F A GRIFFIN. 281

raggie ; what have ye go t for a treat to-nigh t ? Naemair of your d d skeenny kid and tough goat muttonI hope . Ah ! ye

’

r a braw chiel to cater for a gentleman

’

s mess .I

’

ll resign my post . to you wi th pleasure,doctor

,if

not satisfied wi th my proceedings, replied the caterer ;“ but I think things will be better to -day

,for I have

given R umjohn a good trouncing for p alming that stuffupon us yesterday . I’ll tell you what there is

,doctor

,

by the b ye, a capital rooee muchee,ale for I secured i t my

self this morning.

Weell,said the doctor

,a rooee muchee

’

s nae badthing, i f i t

’s frash .

At this moment,three more ensigns

,inmates of Griff

Hall, hove in sigh t, rattling up on tattooes, or galloways— ti ts combining some pleasant varieties of fiddle-head,goose-rump

,swish-tail

, &c.

In India,every one European officer) must keep

a piece of horse-flesh of some sort or other, though itmust be allowed that griffins, for obvious reasons, werenever remarkable for possessing superior studs. As thenew-comers approached

,full canter and shuffle, the doc

tor put forth a screech, compounded of an Indian warwhoop and a view halloo, by way of welcome : the funwas evidently beginning .

One of the ensigns on the terrace Jumped down intothe road, took h is hat off his head, whirled it round, andhooted loudly

,to make his friends’ horses bol t or shy.

The doctor, too, seizing a sort of long besom whichstood in an angle of the bungalow wall

,darted forward

wi th i t to aid in putting the detachment to therout .Doctor, what the deuce are you about, man?

shouted the immed i ate obj ect of his attack ;“ don’t be

so infernally ridiculous .”

S tir him 00p with the lang pole, roared the doctor,R ooee muchee, a huge fish of the carp kind

, one of th e best inInd ia.

282 m moms or A GRIFFIN .

nothing daunted ;“ stir oop the bombardi er

’

s wonderfulanimal .

”

And so saying,he poked the besom under the tai l of

the tattoo , who resented this rear attack by launchingout his heels, j erked off the Lieut. Fireworker

’

s cap,and

finally bolted, with his rider half-unseated , across thecompound, amidst the shouts and laugh ter of his com

rades, the doctor, with his wild red locks flying, and hi sfeet in slippers

,pursuing him with h is besom at the pas

d e charg e .

M cS creechum soon returned, pulling and blowing, andflourishing his besom,

and the Lieut . Fireworker shortlyafter joined the group, having disposed of his runawayBucephalus, but wi th a countenance darkly porten tousof mischief.

“ Dr. M cS creechum,sai d h e,

“ I’l l thank you, sir,not to take such liberties wi th me in future, for I willnot put up with them .

”

S tir him oop with the lang pole,sai d the doctor,

sti ll flourishing his besom .

O thers may submit to them , but I will not.S tir him oop with th e l ang pole,

” again repli edM cS creechum.

All j oined the medico in rally ing the indi gnant li eutenant out of hi s wrath . The good-humoured Scotchman brewed and presented him a glass of grog

,to allay

the fury of the black dog ,”

as he termed it .“A soft answer tum eth away wrath ,

”

sai th the proverb , and on the same principle, even a prac tical Joke,though ever to be avoided

,may be so softened by a little

tact as to allay the anger which, in nine cases out of ten,i t i s sure to excite .All these wild doings at an end, and matters properly

composed, we adj ourned to the dining-room,being sum

moned by a rather dingy-looking butler,or khanseman,

y ery much resembling the worthy who has been recordedin these pages as having so suddenly decamped with myplate- .chest


a more li gh t-hearted, thoughtless , and Joyial set offellow s than the inmates of Grifi

'

Hall .The clo th removed

,hookhas bubbled ; the bottle

passed freely,and the conversation became animated ;

among o ther things, the scenes and flirtatious at th eb and that evening w ere passed in review .

Who noticed Mi ss S imper,the new spin

,talking to

that old fellow,M acGlashum said Ensign O

’

Toole,a youngHibernian sure I hope she

’

s not going to takethat broken-winded old-fellow .

”

“ By my saul , I don’

t know,repli ed Ensign Mac

Claymore “ but I think if she ge ts a maj or,and a gude

S cotchman to boot,she could na do be tter .

”

“ Fai th, I think she’

d find an Iri shman suit her betterthan an old or a young S cotchman aither : oh

,an Iri sh

man’

s heart for the lad ies !Meaning yourself , I suppose, retorted the High

lander, dryly“

you Paddies thi nk there’

s nought like

yeer’

sels in the world .

Fai th,now

,I don’t think we

’ve h alf the cousai t ofyour S cotchmen

,at all, replied O

’

Toole, though agrate dale more to be proud o f. Where will you find

J'

anius like that which auld Ireland has produced—suchpoets

,statesmen

,and haroes ?

Proud ! said the other contemp tuously ; hooever

may fall short in tho se respects, thank Gude, auld Scotl and was never conquered

,

— never conquered,sir, as some

other countri es have been .

“I

’

ll tel l you the reason, said the o ther bitterly thepoor beggarly country was never worth the trouble an dexpense of conquering .

Eh . sir, said the young Caledonian , his eyes flashing fire, what

’

s that you say, sir ? I’ll no si t here and

l i sten to that. What do youmean, sirMean retorted the other

,sternly

,Just what I

’

vesaid

,Ensign M acClaymore, and so just make your most

of it ; if you’ve more to add

,let i t b e outside .

Several attempts were made to check this -angry dia


logue,but in vain . All was now confusion ; the angry

patrio ts half arose,and d arted fierce looks at each other

across the table , their more peacefully disposed neighboursendeavouring to quiet and retain them in their seats .Things w ere fast verging towards war

,horrid war.

”

Dr. M cS creechum now arose,l ike S atan in Pande

monium,thumped the table to engage attention, and w ith

the voice of a S tentor, proclaimed silence, and calledthe belligerents to order .

Gentlemen,said the doctor,

“ silence if you please,

and listen to me . I am the moderator of this assembly,

and by vairtue of th e pooers confided to me, I proclaimp aw . I ’ll have na quarrelling here doun w i’ y our foolish naytionalities ; aren

’t we all kintramen and b ri thers,as my gude old father, the provost, used to say ? You,

Donald M acClaymore,and you, Denis O

’

Toole, I’ll fine

you each a dozen of claret, and proclaim you bai th oo tlawsof Griff Hall, unless you shak h ands, like sensiblefellow s ; shak hands, ye fire-eating donnard deevils ye,and then I

’

ll gee ye a sang. Auld lang syne,my dear

,

for a’ lang syne .’

Wha’

s for a sang ? This seasonableinterruption , in the doctor

’

s peculi ar way, turned the tideof war. A furious drumming on the table followed ;glasses danced and j ingled, and

“ Auld lang syne forever !

” resounded through the hall . M acClaymore andO

’

Toole caught the spiri t of the movement , shook handsacross the table

,and the glorious S cottish air broke

forth splendidly,like an elegy over buried animosities .

The doctor, half-seas-over, was now completely in hiselement his huge red head rolled from side to side, andone eye

,half shut

,leered with Bacchanali an philanthmpy

around the table .Thus he stood, his arms crossed , and holding th e hand

of each of his right and left neighbours, as he workedthem up and down with a force and energy proporti onedto the varying sentiments of that celebrated ditty

,which

has to answer for being the proximate cause of moreboozing and maudlin sentimentali ty th an any ever


wri tten ; for oh, that potent collocation of words, for

auld l ang syne ,”

g oes direct to the exile’

s heart, particularly when softened by the geni al glass touches i ts tend erest chords, and awakens, li ke the Ranz de vaches

,

”

the sweetest and most soul -subduing reminiscences ofyouth , and al l i ts never-to-b e-forgotten associations .After this bout, anchovy toasts and broiled bones were

put in requi sition, Ensign O’

Toole insisted upon mullinga saucepanful of port, to keep the beer and claret warm .

At length , some fell asleep in their chairs others,in

cluding Grundy and myself. dropped off to bed, thoughabused by the peep-o’

-day boys for our recrean t quali ties.Away we wen t, hearti ly tired, leaving a few choi ce

spiri ts to keep i t up, the doctor talking in thi ck andalmost inarti culate tone about S heshero

’

s E peestles toHatticus.

You may well be tired of such a life as th is, sai d I ,next morning “

it would kill me in a week how do youstand i t

“Why, repl ied Grundy, I keep as clear of i t as Ican besides, i t is not very often that we have quite sucha jollification as we had last night however, the e ternalracket we have does not sui t me, and I shall cut i t as soonas I can i t goes against my conscience

,too

,to wi tness

some of the tri cks they play upon one another. Oneday they hanged one of the lads for fun by the punkahrope till he was black in the face and about a monthago sent a sub . , a poor soft fellow, a voyage on the Ganges in an Open boat and as he did not return for a week,it was a mercy he was not starved or drowned .

How was this , Grundy sai d I .

Why, the doctor and the lads were always pokingfun at him, and making him a boot (butt) . One night

,

something such another as last, they made him believehe had been insoolted , and must fight. Sawney said hewould rather take an apology

,but they told him i t was

qui te impossible that the aflfront could ever be washedout but with the blood of one of th em . They said i t

288 m noms or A GRIFFIN .

partly devoted to reporting my arrival,eh route to j oin

—a measure enj oined on all mili tary voyagers, but notalways attended to . I also saw the troops

,European

and native,at brigade exercise

,&c. and in the eveni ng

w i tnessed a tattoo race—officers riding their own ponies.This was a very comical affair.It was a littl e before sunset when Grundy

,the Lieu

tenant Fireworker (who had entered his pony) , and I ,w alked down to the course, which i s situated a li ttl ebehind the cantonmen t

,being separated from it by a dry

nullahfit over w hich there are one or two bri dges .

We found a great number of the inhabitants of thecantonment—some in gigs

,some on horseback

,and others

on foot—assembled to witness the sport.There was a good show of ponies

,some of them

certainly r um’

uns”

to look at, but, as was fully provedin the sequel

,devils to go .

”

Long tai ls and swi sh tai ls,

stumps,cr0ps , and wall o eyes were there in perfection.

The young officers who were to ri de them,amongst whom

I recognized more than one of the inmates of GriffHall, marched about in their top -boots and velvet hunting-caps , cracking their whips with countenances expressive of the full sense they entertained of the awfulcontest in which th ey were about to be engaged .

Some,too

,tigh tened their ponies

’

girths ; others passedtheir hands down their fore-legs, as if to rub out theknots and clean the b ack sinews ; some put their armslovingly round their animals

’

necks, or gratified th eir loveof tormenting by pinch ing the flanks of their steeds, andenj oying their abortive attempts to bi te.Amongst thi s throng was a very remarkable character

,

w ell known at D inapore, the clerk of the course, orwhatever other name properly appertains to the mas ter ofthe ceremonies on such occasions . He was a little, old ,sun-dried

,invalid sergeant, of a meagre form ,

but mostd etermined Spiri t. I was greatly amused by the consequential air of the diminutive old fellow, as he stumped

Brook .


about in a r usty hunting-cap , cracking a tremendouswhip

,and clearing the environs of dogs

,boys

,and all

other interlopers .The time for the race having arrived , the young men

mounted,some in red Jsckets, some in white, and others

in full j ockey attire . The clerk of the course rangedthem all in proper order ; eagerness was in every eye asthey bent forward

,impatient for the word . Ladies stood

up in carri ages , and many a neck was outstretched tocatch a glimpse of the start : w hen at l ast a thunderingReady

,

”

O ff, from the little mummified sergeant, andaw ay flew the tattoos, Punch

,

”

Cocktail,and Mat

o’

-the-Min t,

”

and many a nameless steed besides . Suchdigging

,spurring , and straining ; such crossing and

j ostling as was there one pushing ahead for a space,and

then anoth er passing him,and so on.

Wh en the whole troop had go t about half-way round( it was a sweepstakes, round the course ) , the leadingpony bol ted

,and was follow ed by all the rest

,entering

the gates leading to a bungalow,the first of a series

there commencing ; there they very deliberately drew up,where doubtless they had often drawn up before, whencarrying their masters on their rounds of morning visits .Intense were the roars of laughter which issued from

the spectators assembled, occasioned b y thi s li ttle episode .Haul

,d ig, pound , and spur, and they were again placed,

and off—but ah the unlucky fates ! the meridian of

another bungalow entrance no sooner reached,than aw ay

with them again , follow my leader, like a flock of sheepthrough a gap, or a string of wild geese .I thought verily I should have died outright

,and as

for honest Grundy, and many of my neighbours , theystamped and roared till the tears ran down their cheeks .All this time w e could see

,though the distance was

considerable,that the J ockeys were hard at work

,getting

their tattoos once more under weigh through the opposi tesegment of road leading from th e attracti ve bungalow

,the

other horn,as i t might have been termed

,of the dilemma .

U

290 m moms O F A GRI FFIN .

The course regained , away they went once more : thestruggle was becoming w arm ; they h ad turned the curve,and were in a line w i th the winning -post ; bettors werenow on the gui vz

’

ve ten to one on Cocktail ” —theli ttle sergeant squatting hand s on knees, taking s judgmeti cal observati on , when 10 no sooner had they reacheda certain bridge before mentioned

,leading in a rectan

gul ar direc tion to cantonments,than away they sidled,

and at last one and all made a fair bolt of it, right b eforethe wind

,for home

,sweet home .

“Z ounds ! said the sergeant, if they bea

’

nt all offagin , I

’

m a Dutchman .

And off sure enough they were,amidst renewed peal s

of laughter . I doubt if any race ever produced half theamusemen t . They are gone

,they are gone, and never

will return .

”

This was li terally the cas e with some ; but several o fthe heavy sailers managed to tack, and came in amidstthe half-mad shouts of unexpected winners

,proving truly

that the race i s not always to the swif t,

” and that thebest-founded expec tations may be unexpec tedly di sappoin ted .

Two or three races on a smaller scal e followed ; butal l was flat after the unique scamper I have attempted todescribe pleasure and exci tement had expended themselves, and were not to be renewed immediately . Underthese ci rcumstances

,Grundy and I b ent our steps to

w ards the b and,accompanied by the young artillery

officer,who

,having proved the winner

,was in high

sp1r1ts .

Our dinner this evening passed ofl'

far more soberlythan that of the preceding one . The doctor was evidently suffering from areaction of the vital spiri ts, andon more than one occasion seemed di sposed, like acertain old gentleman when he was si ck, to be religiousand sentimental . After a bottl e or two of Hodgson ,how ever, and a due proporti on of clare t, he rallied, andproposed a round game at 100

,as a mode of passing th e

292 MEMOIRS O F A GRI FFIN.

mental improvement. I began to think thi s one ni gh tafter losing R s. at h az ard and double-or-qui ts

,and

the impression has continued to gain strength ever since .Next morning

,after breakfast, I bade adieu to Griff

Hall and honest Grundy ; had my hand almost squeezedto a j elly by the good-natured son of the provost, and ,repairing on board my bolio, was soon once more underweigh for the far west.Very d ifferen t, how ever, were the feelings which nowattended my onward progressi on . I had lost my kindand pleasan t Mentor

,Captain Belfield , and his ami abl e

mai den sister . There were no more social rambles,no

more agreeable disqui si tions,no more tours in search of

the pi cturesque, no mo re chess .I felt how insufficient my own though ts were to supply

th e h iatus caused by their absence, and mentally eJacul ated

,as I occupied my lonely cabin at night, with poor

Alexander Selkirk,

O h, solitude, w here are the charmsThat sages have seen in thy face i?

”

I cannot qui t the subj ect of my two fri ends wi thou tsaying a few more w ords regarding them . I have alreadystated b riefly th at Cap tain Belfield and his si ster afiordeda fine example of that tender attachment—that perfectlove and affection whi ch should ever subsi st betweenpersons so nearly connected . They truly lived for eacho ther

,and the impar ting of mutual pleasure seemed to

consti tute one of the highest gratifications of their li ves .It was quite refreshing to observe the w armth andcordiali ty with which they met in the morning

,as she

,

the picture of neatness and refined simplici ty—the verybeau ideal of th e real English gen tl ewoman-m stepped

from the sleeping apartment of the budgerow, whilst he,closing hi s ponderous Sanscri t or Persi an folio, andlaying i t on the breakfast-table, would ri se w i th extendedh and and a cheerful smile to greet her. Then at nigh t

,

too,af ter th e short but fervent prayer to the Father of

MEMOIRS 01 A 01111 1 111. 293

all,whi ch the captain himself would offer up extempore,

h ow attentively woul d he light her taper,and then

wi th a tender salute commend her to her chamber andrepose .If two or three can love in this way

,I have since

sometimes thought, why not all the world ? but al l theworld, my good gri ffin, are not brothers and sisters .True, true I had forgotten that. The more

,alas ! th e

pi ty.

Though,however

,the hearts of the pai r were thus

uni ted,there was not an equal accordance in all their

sentiments and opinions . This,however

,though pro

ductive of numerous discussions,never led to acrimonious

disputes . They agreed to disagree . Nature had castthe brother and sister in the same mental mould

,to

borrow a phrenological term (which I do with respec t)the organiz ation was equal . The same fine sense andkindliness of disposi tion in both but circumstances hadfavoured in different degrees the development of theirrespective quali ties . Benevolence

,veneration

,and ideality

must have been large in both, though the captain had

evidently been at pains to curb the vagaries of the latter.He had left his home a mere boy

,w i th his mind almost

a blank sheet,on which anything might have been

inscribed . Whilst others his con temporaries plungedin to i dleness and dissipation

, b e, by some chance, flew to

the so lace of books . In them he studied that mysteryof mysteri es—man

,comparing

,as l ife advanced

,the

living manifestations of h is character wi th all that hefound recorded of hi s acts ; he perused the works ofhistori ans

,theologi ans

,and metaphysici ans

,on all sides

of all questions ; and arrived at one grand conclusion,which is

,t hat truth is a very hard thing to get at, and,

like the ideal good of Goldsmi th’

s Traveller,

“ alluresfrom far

,and as we follow, flies . He certainly sought

i t ardently,though he could not felicitate himself, he

said,exactly in having yet found the “

true truth . Aself-taught geni us, who thought vigorously, and ex pressed


himself strongly, b e was, no doub t, somewhat of anUtopian at least such I know Cap tain M arpeet thoughthim .

Mi ss Belfield had been reared in the elegan t seclusion,

but subj ect to the somewhat contracting influences ofan English country l ife (nature, if I may 80 express it

,

seems to h ave intended nations as well as individuals tobe gregarious) , enj oying in her father

’

s pretty Vicarageher pets

,her flow ers

,and the agreeable and poli shed

society of the superior gentry of the vicini ty . In theneighbouring village she dispensed her l ittl e chari ties

,

assuaged the sorrow s of the poor and needy, and did allthe good she could in her l imited sphere ; but of thesufferings of the world on a grand scale she knew notmuch , and as li ttle understood , perhaps, their real causesand remedies . High as were her quali ties of heart andintellect—and admirably would she wr ite and speak onall matters on which she allowed them free scope—shewas not ( and who is without a defect ; hers was onefrequently to be met with amongst the most amiab le andestimable of our countrywomen, a gentle intolerance andquiet assumption of infallibili ty on those subj ects onwhich a very little reading and reflection ought

,perhaps

,

t o convince us that we should hold our Opinions wi ththe most trembling di fh dence—I mean religion, andother kindred subj ects relating to the pow ers and dutiesof mind

,and the great interests of soci ety, but par

ticularly the former. This would evince i tself in theexpression of extreme pi ty and commiseration for theobstinacy or delusion of th ose who conscien tiouslydiffered from her in such matters, she , by her manner,never seeming to entertain the smallest shade ofsuspicion that she herself migh t be in error. Thi sspiri t

,partially veiled by the graces of her manner, the

kindness of her heart,and the evident recti tude of her

inten tions,did no t look so ill as the ugly monster in

tolerance generally does ; sti ll i t was her dark side, andbut ill accorded with the general good sense by which she

296 MEMOIR S 011 A GRIFFIN .

Educate your masses,h e would say, for without

you do that no conceivable form of government will produce happiness to the governed . Construct the finestpiece of mechanism you may

,on the strictest p rinciples

of art,if the material 18 rotten and unsound, i t must give

at some point—the due antagonism of its springs will bedestroyed, and i t will not work .

This diversity of views,which I have endeavoured to

describe, used to give rise, as I have already stated , tonumerous animated di scussions .I used to listen to these collisions of in tellec t, during

the evenings we passed together,wi th much intere st ; and

when I could see my way through the p ros and cons,was wont sometimes to venture an opini on, to which thecaptain and his sister alw ays listened w i th eagerness, asif anx i ous to know how the matter would strike on myyoung and unsciphisticated mind .

Some of these discussions,that i s

,the substance of

them, I still remember, and had I space, and were thi sthe place for them

,I migh t here be tempted to 1 ecord .

Lest my reader may be inclined to think otherw ise, Imust here state

,in Justi ce to the good captain , now no

more,that he was no leveller he considered perfect

equali ty as impracti cable as to construct a perfect columnwithout a base and a capi tal

,and that the fabri c of so ciety

must ever fine aw ay to a point, but that instead of being,as at present

,founded

,in great part

,on misei y, preju

dice, ind igence, and 1gnorance i t might be made to reston the solid basis of virtue and happiness .His grand axiom was—and he used frequen tly to re

peat i t to his sister If by reading , observation, andreflection

,I have learnt anything respecting my fellow

creatures, i t i s thi s : that eight—tenths of their sufferingsh ave been and are entirely of their own creation, andthat i t is w i thin the pow eis of the human mind to diminish the amount of moral and physic al evil to an

'

incalculab le extent. The upper classes appear to govern theworld , but in reali ty i t i s the ignorance and prej udice of

MEMOIRS 01 A GRIFFIN. 297

the tyran t maj ori ty ’ which rule i t. In these, the moreeducated find what physically Archimedes sough t—the

fulcrum to move the world : the head i s the governingpart of the body

,but we all know how a disordered

stomach will affect i t.”

I had but li ttle more intercourse wi th the good captainand his sister during my stay in India, though we metnow and then

,and maintained an occasional correspon

dence . He,poor fellow

,was never destined to revisit his

native land,for after saving a small competence, and

Just as he was preparing to return , death , by one ofits most appalling agents

fi cholera—lodged a detaineragainst him

,and instead of enj oying the easy evening of

life he had fondly anti cipated amongst the scenes of hisboyhood, he was destined to fill a cold tenement, six feetby two, in S t. John

’

s churchyard , Calcutta.’

Tis not for me to describe Mi ss Belfield’

s feelings onthis occasion ; indeed, who can describe the anguish ofheart

,the utter desolation

,which the loss of a brother

or a sister,endeared by union of sentiment and every

tender associ ation of youth , necessarily occasions ? Ilearnt that she almost sunk under the blow and a few

,

very few lines,which she wrote me shortly after, told

forcibly the extent of her sorrows, and indicated th egratifying fact that she considered I had a right to participate in them .

Well, years rolled away . I returned home,with a

broken consti tution,and a lack of rupees

,in the English

sense of the and some time after that event received the following letter

Sw ines-Norton, June loth, 18

M Y DE AR CAPTAI N GERNON,I have for some time been aware of your return to

your native l and, having heard of you from mutual

Th is was about two years before th e worthy griflin, whose autob iography is here given to the public, d ied, as stated in the preface, of anold -standmg liver comp laint .


fri ends . Pray, when your avocation s will allow of yourleaving London , endeavour to visi t my retirement . Ihave a small room in my cottage at your servi ce , andsh all

.enj oy great pleasure , i n some respects a sorrowfulone, inmeeting you again, and in reviving old recollec

ti ons of those days w hen first we became acquainted.i

I

will reserve all further communications ti l l we meet ;the meantime am ,

My dear Cap tain Gernon,

Yours most truly,A . BELFI ELD .

To B rev . Capt . Gernon,5, Peppercorn-bui ldings,

Pimlico.

I was not long in find ing out Mi ss Belfield’

s retreat .The Highflyer coach dropped me at the Bull, a foaming ,rampant fellow

,the only thing evincing any sign s of life

and animation in the small sleepy village of SwinesNorton

,in —shire . A few smock-frocked clowns

,a

bandy-legged ostl er, and a. recruiting-sergeant, w ho

seemed wofully out of hi s element,loi tered in front of

the li ttle inn as I descended .

What luggage had you, sir 17

Nothing but a small c arpet bag.

Come,Bill , bear a hand , and get the gentl eman

’sb ag out of the hind boot .

”

The bandy-legged ostler soon disengaged my property ;the spruce bluff coachman clutched hi s reins and crackedhi s whip

,and made the over-frisky off-leader dance a

sarab and .

Has Davy brough t up that there black mare saidthe landlord

,sauntering ou t with his pip e and tankard of

half-and-half.Yes ; he

'

s down there along 0’ Tom at the Blackbird .

All right—crack—whisp—anod to the pretty chambermaid at the window—ya-hip ! and away bowled the High


thi ngs in their true ligh ts before you,and act as oil on

troubled waters . But, to b e brief, I found M 1S S Belfield s

co ttag e—neat, modest, elegant, and retirincr0 , Just as I

remembered herself. The parro t screamed0

in the li ttleh all, and a very antiquated dowager of a spaniel, wi th anOpaque eye

,emitted a husky bark as I entered .

“Be pleased to take a seat, sir, said the tidi est and

modestest of li ttle maids,and my mi stress will be wi th

you immediately.

”

I took a seat—my spiri ts w ere in a flutter, almostbordering on pain . The door opened

,and the h and of

Mi ss Belfield was locked in mi ne . We both started ali ttle.

“ Mos t truly glad to see you, sai d she, wi th deepemphasis

,her eyes full of te ars . I placed my o ther hand

over the one of hers whi ch I held in my grasp, and answ eredher by a

’

soft and earnes t pressure, which told how deeplyI reciprocated the feeling.

“Well,

”

said she,smiling

,alter a pause , I suppose

we must not compliment each other on looks,for I am

almost afraid to think how long i t i s since w e partedbut I h0pe our mutual regard has not suffered by thelapse of time .

I assured her that my respect and esteem for her wereas fresh as ever . Years and ill-health had given me aslight curve in the shoulders . The freshness of my complexion had long been converted into a deli cate yellowmy hair was grey beyond the pow er of Macassar o il torestore

,and crows’ fee t had dug their inefi

'

aceab le marksat the angles and corners of my face .Mi ss Belfield

’

8 eyes I once or tw ic e caught resting onme

,as if involun tarily—for she instantly averted them

on their encountering mine . She was doub tl ess comparing me to my former self—and excl aimi ng inwardly,Oh . what a falling off 13 here .

If she was struck by my changed appearance, I was

no less so w i th hers . Time and Care,rival ploughmen,

had deeply furrowed her brow—her embonp o int was gone


and the iron-grey locks peeped here and there throughthe muslin of her cap . S till, as of old , the ease, theurbani ty , the refinement, and, at the same time, the sim

plicity of the gentlewoman, shone in Mi ss Belfield asconspicuously as ever .As we stood near the fire, and during the pause whi ch

followed the ardour of question and answer incident to afirst meeting

,Miss Belfield drew my attention to a por

trai t over th e mantelpiece it was that of an officer, insomewhat old-fashioned regimentals .

“ Do you know that ? said she, in a subdued andchoked tone

,pointing to i t wi th her finger.

I did indeed’

twas my old friend , the good , the kind,and thoughtful captain . There he sat

,serenely

,wi th his

book half-opened and resting on his knee,Just as he was

wont to look in days of yore, when I rattled into hi sbudgerow

,after one of my shooting excursions .

Come,said Miss Belfield , gently withdrawing me

from its con templation ,“ lunch aw ai ts us in the next

room,and youmust require refreshment .

I must reserve a more detai led account ofMi s s Belfield

for some future part of my autobiography,—that devoted

to England let i t here suffice to state, that after a week’s

v i si t to my amiable friend—one charac terized by everything that was pleasing—I returned to London

,having

first promised to repeat my vi sits from time to time,to

draw and botanize,and talk of old times ; and settle,

over a cup of Howqua’

s mixture,the great questions

now agi tating the world . But to proceed .

I passed the old fort and station of Buxar,where a

few invalids doze out the evening of their Indian existence, and saw some European veterans

,almost as black

as the n atives , with large mushroom hats, bobbing forfish on the banks of the river, and i n due time reachedGhaz epore, th e station of one of H.M . regiments .Here I found my shipmate

,Ensign O

’

Gorman. Theensign, on whom I called, received me as an Irishmanand a Bri ti sh officer in the royal service might be sup

302 MEMOIRS 01 A 01111 1 111.

posed to do . Could a volume say more for i ts warmthand cordiali ty ? I dined w i th him at his mess

,at which

urbani ty,kindness

,and good cheer combined th eir attrac

tions to render this one of the pleasantest evenings I hadspent in India. Our ship adventures were d i scussed ;our fellow-passengers were p assed in review, and we weresupremely happy .

“By the way, said I , rather carelessly, have you

heard what h as become of O livi a JenkinsOh , didn

’

t you hear she i s marriedMarried I excl aimed, and a mouthful of pillaw

stuck in transituin my mscphagus, nearly producing acase of asphyxi a .

Good heavens ! you don’

t say soOh

,i t

’

s a fact,said O

’

Gorman but what’s the matter ? you appear unwell .

Oh , I am qui te well, said I ; but let’

s take aglass of wine .I tossed off a bumper

, and fel t relieved .

And so—li ttl e —O livia—Jenkins— i s actually—married ? Good heavens only think of that !Why, sure, said the ensign, smiling, there

’s nothingvery strange in a pretty girl getting married ; but, addedh e, lookmg hard at me , and after a p ause, I suspect youwere a little touched in that quarter yourself am I not atrue diviner ?I acknowledge i t, sai d I I di d like th a t girl . Good

heavens ! and so little O l ivi a Jenkins i s ac tually marri edThe ensign pressed me to stay wi th him a week

,but I

was forced to decline his hosp itali ty,and resumed my on

ward route the nex t morning .

In a few days I reached Benares—Kasi,the splendid

—the Jerusalem or Mecc a of the Hindoo world . What atreat to look upon a picture of human existence, Just as i tprobably was whenAlexander the Great was a li ttle chapAs I glided past the sw arming ghauts , where the pure

caste damsels,th e high-born Hindoo maidens

,of thi s

strange and an tique land,displayed their lovely forms

,

304 MEMOIRS O F A 011111 111 .

religionists, the stab i s given in the most tender andvi tal part.Having nearly cleared the city

,I l and ed

,accompanied

b y Ramdial S irdar, to take a peep at the interior of th isstrange pl ace ; and strange, indeed , I found it. S treetsswarming with people

, and some so narrow th at one ofour draymen could hardly wo rk down them

,unless

edgew ays . Here, in the crowded chowks, w addled thehuge b raminy bull, poking his nose into the bunyah

’

s

grain basket, in disdainful exercise of his sanctified

impunity ; whilst b yraggies, fakeers, pundits, and bawling mendicants

,and much more

,that I canno t here

describe,made up a scene as curious in i tself, as striking

and in teresting to me from i ts novel ty .

In the course of my ramble,Ramdial gave me to

understand that,if I was desirous of an hummaum

,or

b ath , after the Indian fashion , I could have one atBenares for a rupee or two

,which w ould puri fy my outer

man,besides being wonderfully agreeable . I had heard

much of such baths in the Arabian Nights, and in w orksof the like sort

,and thought this a good occasion to

compare facts with early impressions ; in short, I determined to be p arboiled

,and having intimated the same to

Ramdial,I departed wi th him and my kidmutgar, after

an early dinner, to th e hummaum, or Ghosal Kaneh .

This was a considerable distan ce from my boat, in agarden

,in the outskirts of the ci ty . We entered the

building,and R amdial having explained who I was and

wh at I wanted,an attendant of the bath showed me a

small ap artment,in whi ch I was requested to disrobe .

Having p eeled , a pair of curwah drawers, or paj ammas ,w ere given to me

,which descend about h alf-way down

the thigh,and are ti ed in front w i th a string.

All being ready, I , rather nervous, submi tted myselfto the guidance of an athleti c native, similarly habi ted tomyself.We passed through a narrow dark passage, and I

began to look out for adventures . The sl ave of the

MEMOIRS 01 A 01111 1 111. 305

bath showed me into a little confined apartment, someten feet by four, filled with steam ,

on one side of whichwere reservoirs of water of different temperatures, inseparate compartments

,about ( as well as I can recollec t)

breast—hi gh .

Here I found another attendant,who, after slui cing a

bowl or two of water over my body, laid me out on along board

,occupying the centre of the narrow apart

ment, and, aided by his companion, commenced rubbingme wi th soap and pea-meal from head to foot .This over, they proceeded to rub me down slowly with

heesahs, or rough gloves, bringing ofi

‘

flakes androuleaus of cuti cle and epidermis astonishing to behold .

Flayed ali ve , they proceeded to shampoo and knead me,producing the most pleasing and grateful sensations .The strong man now bade me rise

,and then and there

began to play the castanets on my vertebral column,

beginning at the topmost articulation ; thi s he effectedby placing hi s leg behind me

,sw inging my body gently

backw ards and forwards,and then by a sudden J erk, the

very reverse of pleasant,producing the desired di sloca

tion and i ts accompanying crack ; having done with thespine, he rung the ch anges on my toes, knees, andfingers . To effect all this

,he entwined his brawny limbs

about me in a most gladi atori al style, which was farfrom agreeable .At length , after a few more sluicings, I was given to

understand that my purificati ons were at an end ; something was then thr own over me

,and I was led back to

the place from whence I came. There I dressed,and

never in my life experienced such a feeling of puri ty andbuoyancy . I felt as if a new man

,cleansed mentally

and bodi ly, and ready to Open a fresh account with theworld .

My ki tmudgar, Fyz Buccas, a worthy little fellow,had

no t been idle or inattentive to my comforts during myabsence for no sooner had I dressed

,and was giving

the last shake to a clean cambric handkerchief—thefinaleX


of the toilet in India —than he presented me with a cupof hot coffee

,which he had prepared outside

,and brought

in afterw ards my kalioun, which I had recently set uptaking this then in my hand

,and putting the mouth

p iece betw een my lips,I stre tched out my legs

,leaned

my head back,and

,half-closing my eyes

,immediately

departed for the seventh heaven,in a cloud of odoriferous

incense .The following day brought me to Sultanpore, the

s tation of a regiment of native cavalry,about midway

be tween Benares and Chunarghur. Here I stayed a fewd ays with a com et

,to whom I was the bearer of a letter.

There are no native cavalry lower than this in the Bengalpresidency ; these , consequently , with the exception ofth e Governor-General

’

s body-guard wh o are di fferentlyatti red ) , were the first I had seen of that arm.

O n the whole, th is body of black dragoons pleased mewell their dress was French grey

,buckskin breeches

,and

long military boots,with high blue mitre-shaped caps,

terminating at the apex with a sort of hemispheri calsilver knob those of the native officers were covered wi thred clo th

,with silver mountings .

The European officers wore helmets ( since ch anged tosh akos ) , but in other respects w ere dressed like theirmen . Some of the troopers were tight

,well-made fellows,

and the native ofli cers large,portly gentlemen ; but, if

I may b e allowed a pun , should say there were moreM usulmans than musclemen amongst them .

*

Europeans in general p eel much better than natives,though the latter

,being generally taller and more equally

sized,look better

,I think

,i n a body nevertheless

,

amongst the sepoys are frequently found men,models of

symmetry and muscular vigour, with whom few Euro

In both the descriptions and i llustrations of these volumes, the

mi litary costume of E uropeans and natives W i ll be found slightly to differfrom those at present w orn. For example

,Hessians now rank w ith

Hauberks and other anti ques the shako has superseded the chimney-potcap, and so on.


shouted forth in the manner described,sound exceed ingly

like Hobson,Jobson .

”

O n reaching the dense crowd , in the centre of whichthe taz eab , like a ship on a heaving sea, rocked to andfro

,a wild scene of excitement met our view . Here

were numbers of M ahomedan troopers, in their undress,many of them carrying tulwars* under their arms

,with

fakeers,servants , and baz aar people, all lus ti ly lament

ing the fate of Hussain and Hosein .

The taz eah had a splendidly gilded dome, and in thefront of i t was the figure of a strange creature, wi th thebody of a camel

,and a long tapering neck

,terminating

with a female face shaded by J et black ringlets ; roundthe neck of this creature

,which I take i t was in tended

to represent Borak,on whi ch Mahomed made his noc

turnal J ourney to heaven,were strings of gold coins .

A ll this magnificence was supplied at the expense , Iwas told, of a devout old begum,

the left-handed wi feof an invalid general at Chunar

,w i th whom

,as will ap

pear,I became subsequently acquainted .

O u the seventh night of the M ohurrum, i t i s usual tocelebrate the marri age of Hussain

’

s daughter (nothingbeing perfect in this world wi thout a li ttl e love ) with hercousin

,a gallant p artisan of the house of A li ; Dhull

Dhull too , the faithful steed of Hussain, his housingsstuck full of arrows

,forms a par t of th e pageant, and

serves to create a still more lively image of th e touchingevent which i t is intended to commemorate .The M ahomedans, when worked up to a high state of

reli gious excitement and frenzy, on these occasions,

are dangerous subj ects to deal wi th ; very li ttle wouldthen induce them to try the temper of their blades on

the c arcases of any descrip tion of infidel, Hindoo orChri sti an .

The relator was once at Allahabad when the greatHindoo festival of the Hoolee, a sort of S aturnalia, andthe M ahomedanM ohurrum unluckily fell together ; and


was present wi th the Judge,M r. Chalmers, when a depu

tation from each of the religions waited upon him inconnection with the subj ect of the apprehended bloodshed and d i sturbance

,in case the processions of the two

should meet.The requests and the reasonings of the parties were

highly characteristi c of the genius of their respe ctivereli gions . The Hindoos urged , mildly, that as their ancestors had possessed the country from time immemorial,and long before the M ahomedans came in to i t, they di dnot see why they should postpone the celebration oftheir religious ri tes

,because the former chose to take

offence at them ; they disclaimed the slightest wish toinsult or offend the Faithful

,but contended for their

righ t to parade the ci ty in procession, with music, &c.,

as of old .

The M ahomedanmoollahs, on their part, urged that,as the Hindoos were kafl

’

ers and idolaters , i t must b eand they put the case very feelingly to M r. Chalmersexceedingly gelling to them if they were allowed toparade their music and processions near their mosquesand taz eahs :

Betw ixt the w ind and their nobili ty.

The Judge endeavoured to impress upon these lastreasoners that the poor Hindoos had vi rtually as good aright as they had to perform their reli gious rites in theircommon city ; and as for their being unbelievers, theycould with equal reason return the compliment.All this, however, had no effect ; they could nei ther

perceive the reason or Justi ce of it,and declared their

dogged determination to shut up sh0p and suspend proceed ings, .unless the Hindoos were forced to postponetheirs, or remove to a distance to this the Judge retusedh is assent, declaring that both parties should have equalJusti ce

,and that he would avai l himself of both the

civi l and military power to keep the peace b etween them .

Some time after the departure of these deputations,

310 MEMOIRS 01' A ( 111111 111 .

information was brought that b odies of armed M ahomedans were coming into the town and assembling at theb arree

,or residence of one of their principal men , a

great landholder,who was considered the head of the

Sunni s there . The Judge immediately ordered his gig,begged me to step into it, and , accompanied by a coupleof orderly horsemen , we drove to hi s resid ence, whichwas si tuate d on the banks of the Jnmna. It consistedof many bui ldings i rregularly disposed through one ormore courts , in which were also situated two or threesmall mosques .O n dismounting, and entering the first enclosure, we

observed many Musulmans , with heads inclined as if in

profound thought, slow ly moving about, and habi ted inl ong black tunics

,th e mourning garb of the Sunnis,

w i th real or well-simulated looks of d ej ection . There wewere met by the M ahomedan chief, who appeared todeem himself insul ted by the suspi cion w hich the unex

pected vi si t implied .

“ Follow me, S ahib , said he, and examine all thearms my place contains ; you w il l find they are few

,

and only loaded w i th powder, and could not have beenbought for the purpose you imagine .O n saying thi s , or something to th e same effec t, he

to ok us to where several row s of match-locks,rusty and

d ingy pieces of ordnance , w ere piled . The Judge saidhe had feared that i t was their intention at night to commence an onslaught on the Hindoos

,and that b e was

determined to preserve the peace . The chief d i sclaimedany such intention, but I well recollect his concludingobservation .

Our reli gious observance, sai d he, i s gum ( grief) ,theirs i s shad ee (uproar, li terally

‘ a w eddi ng’

and th eyought not surely to be allowed to p ass wi thin our hearing ; pray consider this ; and so forth .

The resul t of all thi s was , that half a battalion anda couple of six-pounders w ere ordered down to theci ty in the evening, and occupied the chowk, or marke t

312 MEMOIRS 01 A 01111 1 111.

We had a capital breakfast,at which an abundance of

sol id cheer, interspersed with glasses of amber J elly, andgarnished with evergreens and flowers, J asmin andmarigolds, produced a truly O ld English effect.The old general leaned back in his easy-ch air

,stretched

his legs on a morah, smoked his magnificent hookha,and prepared to receive a host of people waiting outsideto pay their respects .In India, Chri stmas Day is called by the natives ourBurm D in

,or gre at day . Our native soldiers and

dependants attend in their best attire,to p ay their re

spects, and present , according to their means , li ttlenuz z urs or gifts , as tokens of good-will and fidelity.

Your Kansaman brings a basket of sweetmeats ; theshepherd

,akid from the flock the gardener, a b asket of

his choicest frui t, flow ers, and vegetables ; the bearersdeck the bungalow w i th evergreens

,or plant a young

tree in front of the door, and so forth .

It i s a pleasing homage to master and his faith ;and al together, w ith the temperature of the weatherand the solidi ty of the fare

,tends strongly to awaken

bygone recollections of youth, and all the chari ties andendearments of our island home at that delightful andmerry season .

The ch ick,or blind

,being now rolled up, a p osse of

venerable veteran native officers entered, exhibi ting ontheir persons the vari ous obsolete costumes of the Indianarmy of half a century back

,gradually approximating

from the uncouth attire of the sepoy of the olden time,

with its short vandyked j angheeas, half-way down thethigh , cut-away coat, and ludicrous tri angular-fronted cap,to the more perfect Europeaniz ed dress at presen t worn .

Each bore on hi s extended palm a folded-up handkerchief

,on which lay a certain number of gold mohurs

or rupees , which the old general, contrary to the usualcustom in such cases

,groped off, and laid beside him in

a heap, having previously touched his forehead, by wayof acknowledging the compliment.


Besides the pecuniary offering, many of the veteransheld their swords to the general and my friend

,who

touched them,and then their foreheads . This pretty cus

tom is universal amongst the mili tary of India and Persi a,

and i s finely expressive of a sold ier’

s fideli ty and devotion .

He offers you his sw ord ; what can he more ?After the mili tary had entered, various civil function

ari es, connected with the bazaar and garrison , and thegeneral

’

s domesti c servants,all arrayed in their holiday

attire, were ushered ih ,and made their salaams and

gifts . The latter were set aside in the room,and

formed a goodly displ ay of oranges,pomegranates

,sweet

meats, sugar- candy, &c.,enough wherewith to set up the

store of a general dealer in a small way .

Last of all,several trays were brought in, each covered

with an embroidered roomal or handkerchief th e bearers,having arranged these on the floor

,withdrew the cover

ings with a grand air,as much as to say

,There ! what

do you think of that ? and a magnificent display ofgood things appeared . The Kansaman whispered theold general ; the old general smiled, and my friendlaughed . It was a Chri stmas gift from Begum S ahib,his pious left-handed M oosulmanee wife, and whose fundshad supplied

,as I before mentioned, the magnificent

taz eea at S ultanpore, Benares .Whilst i ts examinati on was going on, I though t I per

ceived a few curious eyes peeping from behind the curtain,w hich concealed the sanctum sanctom m of th e z enan

hhameh , or female apartments .After the whole party had retired, and the general and

my friend had resumed their ch at and their hookhas, Iobserved the aforesaid curtain once more on the move,and

,immedi ately after, the figure of an old wi thered

Ind ian lady, covered wi th a profusion of rings and J ewels,with a pair of garnet-coloured trousers of formidabledimensions

,and a milk white d eputta, or scarf, over her

h ead, i ssued therefrom .

She stood for a moment,placed her finger archly on


her lips, as’ a signal for my friend to be silent, and then

gliding slowly towards the ve teran , whose back wasturned towards her, she placed her long dark slenderhands

,sparkling with rings

,over hi s eyes.

“ Halloa !”

said the old gentleman,

who have wehere ? what rogue i s this ? smiling pleasantly, andknowing all the while who i t was.The old lady laughed, withdrew her hands, and stood

before him .

“ General S ahib,said she

,in Hindustanee, I am

come to make my salaam to you on your BurraShe now took a chair ; my friend the com e t , who

evidently knew her well , made her a respectful sal aam,

and they held a very animated conversation together,of which

,from their eyes b eing directed towards me

ever and anon,I guessed myself to be the subj ect. I

was a modest youth in those days,and felt a li ttle em

harrassed at the i dea of being overhauled and discussedin an “ unknown tongue .The cornet said : The Begum has been asking abou t

you ; she says you look very young ; quite a cholera

(boy ) , and h ave a very gureeb (quiet ) look, th ough , shedares to say, you are a bi t of a nut cut (roguish fellow )for all that .

’

“ Pray tell her, said I , that she does me too muchhonour

,and that I really want language to express the

extent of my obligation . As for the first faul t, timedoubtless will correct i t ; with respec t to the other, youmay say i t is an heredi tary complai nt in our family .

”

The cornet explained,or tri ed to explain ; the old lady

l aughed , nodded her head, and said i t was burra tazz

bhat”

( a very smart reply) . She now re tired to herapartmen t

,after a fresh round of salaaming between her

and the com e t .I thought, said I , when she had gone , that it « was

not usual for native ladies to exhibi t themselves in thatway .

“ Nor i s it,said b e, generally ; but age and other


houses and luxuri an t gardens o f the adj acen t stati on,the broad Ganges skirting the verdant slopes in fron t

,

and stretching away through many a sandy reach towards Benares ; on the opposi te side, above the fort, ari ch and cul tivated country

,waving wi th crops

,adorned

wi th mango groves,and dotted here and there wi th old

mosques or tombs,extends far in the d istance , traversed

by bold sweeps of the river,whi ch

,sprinkled wi th

many a white sail, or strings of heavy boats, advancingwith snail-like pace agains t the current, glistens brightlybelow .

The general poin ted out to me the particular p art ofth e wall where we made our unsuccessful assaul t in they ear 1764 , with some other li ons of the place ; afterwhich w e left the fort by another gateway, and a somewhat zigz ag descent, on the Opposi te side to that onwhich w e had entered .

In passing a guard of invali ds,how ever

,before emerg

ing, I was highly entertained to see the old veterans, whowere rather taken by surprise

,hobbling out from their

pipes and repose in a mighty pother,to present arms

to the general, whi ch they managed to effec t beforehe had left them far behind

,with a most picturesque

i rregulari ty.

Chunar, some thirty or forty years before the peri od towhich I am adverting

,had been

,I beli eve, on e of our

p rincipal frontier s tations,and the head-quarters of a

divi sion,though then, as now ,

scarcely occupying a central point in the immense line of the Bri ti sh domini onson thi s side of Indi a . The cantonments of this l argeforce were situated on the pl ain las t noticed, above thefort, and presen t small s tation , though almost every traceof i t h as long di sappeared

,at least of the abodes of th e

living, for the mansions of the dead still remain nearlyin statuguo to te ll their pensive tale .We pai d a vi si t to thi s now remote and forgotten bury

ing ground (or rather to one of them , for there are two )a mile or two beyond the fort and I confess

,albei t a


Juvenile,that I was touched at the sigh t of th e s e lonely

mementoes of the fac t, that a bustling military cantonment, of which hardly a vestige remains, once occupiedthe immediate v i c ini ty .

How changed i s now the scene from what i t was inthe gui hye days of our fathers ! The clang of thetrumpet

,the roll of the drum , and the gleaming ranks,

have long given place to more peaceful sounds and sightsthe creak of the w ell-wheel

,and the song of the ryot, as

h e irrigates his fields, supply the place of the former.Grain now waves where tr00ps once manoeuvred

,whilst

the light airs of the Ganges pipe,amidst the white mau

soleums, the dirges of those who sleep well beneath,

many of the once gay inhabi tants of the scene

Ah sweetly they slumber, nor hope, love, nor fearPeace

,peace is the watchword—the only one here.

”

There are few things which address themselves morestrongly to the feelings than the sight of the tombs ofour countrymen in a far di stan t l and . In the cemetory to which I am referring, now rarely visi ted, i t beingout of the track of travellers, where grass and Jungle arefast encroaching

,and time and the elements are pursuing

their silent dil apidations,many a Bri ton—many a long

forgotten Johnson and Thompson—quietly repose, farfrom the hearths of their fathers .I have since more than once visi ted this and simil ar

places , which may be compared to wrecks which the on

ward flow of our advancing pow er leaves behind it,and

as I have stood and mused amongst them,have pleased

myself by indulging in dreamy speculations touching thehistories of the surrounding sleepers ( for all have theirl ittle histories ) , of all their hop es, fears, and cares, herefor ever laid at rest.We extended our excursion to some distance beyond

the cemetery,and vi si ted the mausoleum of a M ahome

dan prince or saint, the history of which I have forgotten .

I have now only a faint remembrance of its mosaic and

318 MEMO IRS 01 A GRIFFIN .

l atti ce—work—i ts inlaid scroll s from the Koran—tb e sarcophagus covered wi th an embroidered carpet, the lampsaround, and the ostri ch eggs suspended from the vaultedroofO u returning home to th e old general’s house, rather

l ate,we found two or three of his friends , invalid officers

of the garri son,assembled to do Justi ce to his roast beef

and other Christmas fare . A very social party w e hadthe general shouldered hi s crutch, and the invali dguests gave us plenty of Indian legendary lore al lhearts expanded under the influence of good cheer

,and

a couple of bottles of S imkin S hrob (Champagne ) ,which the general produced as i f i t had been so muchliquid go ld, reserved for high days and holiday s .A glass or two of champagne i s your grand specific

for giving the blue devils their quz’

etus,and liberating

those light and J oyous spiri ts which wave their sparklingwings over the early w ine-cup and the genial board ;but

,like other ephemerae

,soon pass away

,drowned , per

haps,li ke flies

,in th e liquid from whence they spring

,

l eaving but a pleasing remembrance of their having onceexisted .

The next morni ng,after breakfast, th e com et and I

rode back to Sultanpore , and in a few days I bade himadieu

,and in a short time found myself sound in wind

and limb,b ut qui te out of f ootie mac/mn bread and

butter and other river stores , in sight of the far-famedfortress of Al lahabad

,at the confluence of the Jumna

and Ganges .The view of th is fortress

,wi th i ts lofty walls and nu

mercus tow ers,i s

,as you approach it, very striking ; one

sees few such imposing masses in England ; and as forour feudal c astles

,few of them are much bigger th an the

gatew ays of such places as I am describing .

The fort w hich occupie s the po int where these twofamous rivers meet

,though perfectly Oriental in i ts

general ch aracter, has been pointed,and strengthened

in accordance with the principles of European fortifica

320 11111101118 01 A GRIFFIN .

ing, &c.

—so much to my taste,that i t did no t require

any very urgent so li citation on hi s par t to induce me tospend two or three days w i th him .

I dined wi th him at hi s bungalow,some short di stance

inland,on the first day, when he showed me the obj ec ts

w orthy of noti ce in the neighbourhood,and thinking

this a good opportunity to dress my hind-quarter ofmutton

,I invited him to partake of i t next day

,on bo ard

my bolio .

My acquaintance was a migh ty hunter, as mostyoung Indian officers are . He shot, fished , and kept apack of mongrels, and a greyhound or two, wi th whichhe hunted the bare, fox , and J ackal ; he was also a greatadep t in the use of the pellet-b ow ,

in the mode ofdi scharging whi ch he obligingly gave me some lessons .I am not aw are whether thi s sort o f how i s known in

Europe or not . If i t w ere as generally made use ofamongst boys in England as by young men in Indi a,we should certainly h ave a fearful number of blind andone-eyed gentry amongst the populati on .

This how i s generally made of a S pli t bamboo , which ,

being highly el as tic,renders it peculiarly adap ted to the

purpose ; i t h as two strings of catgut, which , at abouta foo t from one extremity

,are kept separate by a small

piece of stick, about an inch and a half in length , theends ingeniously secured between the s trands of thestring ; immediately opposite to that part of th e b ow

grasped by the hand , and whi ch 18 well padded,there 18

a small pi ece of leather, about two square inches insiz e, sewn to the two strings, and presen ting its flatsurface to the handle ; in thi s a pellet of hard, dri edclay i s placed, and being seized by the thumb andforefinger of the right hand , is then di scharged at theoh ect.

til

‘

he great danger of th e tyro is that of strik ing thethumb of the left hand

,within an inch or two of which

the ball must always pass,though by the practi sed

bowman a colli sion 18 always avoided by giving the wrist


a peculiar turn or twist . The force with which theball goes

,when thus propelled

,i s surprising ; and un

common accuracy in striki ng an obj ect may be in timeacquired by a due regul ation of the hands and eye . Ihave brought down with the pellet-bow pigeons andki tes

,when on the wing

,from a great heigh t, and cut

off the heads of doves and sparrows sometimes ascompletely as if i t had been done w i th a knife .As my fri end and I strolled in the tamarind grove,

near to which my boat was moored, he exhibited hisskill upon the squirrels and p aroquets

,much to my

astonishmentWill you let me have a shot ? said I , eagerly.

Certainly but have you ever attempted i t beforeNever

,I replied ; but there appears to be no

difficulty in i t whatever .Tis far more d ifficult than you imagine, he replied

“i t was months before I got into the way of it ; here,he continued

,if you are determined

,you must . Now,

twist your wrist thus,or you will infallibly hi t your

thumb there, 80 !

“ Oh ! I see, said I ; and immediately seized thebow .

A dove sat invi tingly on a neighbouring bough ; Igave a long pull and a strong pull

,and

,och ! h it my

thumb a whack that bared i t to the bone. Away Itossed the pellet-bow to the distance of about twentyyards, thrust the mutilated member into my mouth , andimmed iately fell to dancing something very like JimCrow . In a li ttle time the agony subsided ; I hadswathed the ex-member in fine l inen, when Fyz Buccaecame to summon us to dinner.Come along, sir, said I “ I h0pe you can dine off

a hind-quarter of mutton and a Bombay pudding .

”

“ Nothing can be better, said h e ; but where d idyou get your meat

“ I bough t i t of a bazaar fellow at Allahabad,and a

splendid J oint i t i s.”

322 MEMOIRS O F A GR IFFI N .

My companion,more experi enced in the tri cks of

India than myself,smiled incredulously

,and then looked

a li ttle grave.I h0pe they have no t given you a made-up

arti cl e.Made-up ! sai d I I don

’

t understand you .

Why,

”

he replied,these baz aar rascals stuff and

blow up their meat, and use half a dozen o ther differentways of taking in the unwary passenger.

”

’Pon my life,”sai d I , you frighten me ; i f th is my

best bower fails , we shall go plump on the rocks ofshort commons, that

’

s certain .

”

Oh,never mind , sai d h e ; at the worst

,my place

i s no t far ofl‘

,and there is abundance of prog there ;

besides, I can eat baz aar mutton, or goat, or anythingelse at a pinch , particularly if there is a good glass ofHodgson to wash i t down.

This di alogue wa8‘

cut short by the entry of the

mutton ; i t certainly did not look as respectable muttonshould look . I seized the carver

,eager to know the

worst,and gave a cut the murder was out

,and so was

th e wind ; th e unhappy mutton falling into a state ofcollapse .

“ Ha! ha! ha ! roared the sub : I thought asmuch “

; now try th at mass of fat containing the kidney, andyou wi ll h ave farther evidence of the skill with whichan Indian butcher can manufacture a fat J oint of mutton .

”

I made a transverse inci sion into the membraneoussac , and there lay a beautiful and compact stratificationof suet

,skin, and other extraneous matters, which I

extracted ser iat im at the point of my fork . I confessI was thunderstruck at this profli gacy of the heathen,wh i ch i s, however, common enough .

Currah i s an interesting spot,abounding in pictu

resque ruins and good sporting is to be had there, theneighbourhood abounding in hares

,wild pea-fow l, grey

par tndges, and quail ; the best cover in which to find

the latter i s, my friend told me, the soft feathery under


piece of water, or half-enveloping some old mosque,durgah, or caravanserai— w i th the traveller

’

s horse picketedin i ts shade, or the group of camels ruminating in reposebeneath i t—nothing can he more picturesque .This tree , beneath which no plant will grow,

seems tobe a great favouri te with the natives

,but p arti cularly

with th e M ahomedans i t i s almost invariably to b efound near their mosques and mausoleums and amongstthem

,I suspect, holds the place the yew,

or rather thecypress

,does with us—an almost insep arable adj unct of

the tomb

Fond tree, sti ll sad whenothers’ griefs are fled .

The only constant mourner o’

er the dead. ”

A nest of Brahmins is comfortably establi shed in andabout the ghaut and temple above menti oned , the dutiesof which latter they perform ; these, with bathi ng, eating, sleeping, and fleecing Europeanpassers-b y, constitute the daily tenor of their harmless lives . They regularly levy contributions from E umpean travellers whopass this way, and make, I suspect, rather a good thingof it.Their course of proceeding is as follows : one of the

fraternity, with all the humili ty of aspect which characteriz ed Sterne

’

s monk, wai ts Upon the traveller witha li ttle present of milk, frui t, or a pot of tamarind preserve— the last, by the way, uncommonly good therethis

,in a subdued tone

,and with a low salaam, he ten d

ders for acceptance,and at the same time produces for

inspection a well-thumbed volume—of whi ch i t mighttruly be said , in the language of the Latin grammar,Qui color albus erat, m wo est contrar z

'

us albo

partly filled with names , doggrels, and generally abortiveattempts at the face tious . In this the traveller is t e

quested to record his name, the date of his vi si t, withthe addi tion of as much epigram as he can convenientlysqueeze out

,or of any ex tempore verses he may chance

to have by him ready cut and dry for such occasions .

mnmoms O F A GRIFFIN. 325

Having made hi s literary contribution, and returnedthe valuable miscellany to i ts owner, in whose favour thetraveller

’

s romantic feelings are perhaps warmly excited ,particularly if, like me, a

“taz u wulaz

'

t”(li terally, a

fresh-imported E umpean) , with some S t. Pierre-ishnotions of the virtuous simplicity of Brahmins and Gentoos

,he begins to discover

,from the lingering

,fidgety,

expectant manner of hi s sacerdotal friend,that something

remains to be done—ih fact,that a more important con

tribution i s required—and that the “amor nummz

’ ”

i squite as rife in a grove on the banks of the Ganges as anywhere else in thi s lucre-loving world . O u making thisdiscovery

,he disburses his rupee in a fume, and all his

romantic ideas of hospitable Brahmins,primitive sim

plicity, children of nature, 850. &c.,vanish into thin air .

My friend the sub lent me a pony, and, accompaniedby dogs

,servants , and guns, we traversed a good deal

of the surrounding country in search of game and thepicturesque.The country, for miles around Currah , i s thi ckly

covered with the ruins of M ahomedan tombs, some ofgreat size

,and combining

,with much d iyersity of form,

considerable elegance and architectural beauty. Two orthree of these, more striking than the rest, are erectedover the remains of peers or saints one of these latteri s

,I was told , Sheik Kummul ud Deen, a very holy man,

who , doubtless, in his day rendered good servi ce to th e

cause of Islam,by dint

,probably, of that very cutting

and convincing argument the shumshere .

* The adj acent village of Kummulpore derives i ts name fromhim .

Kurruck Shah , I learnt from my young friend , whowas a bi t o f an antiquary , was the name of another peerof remarkable sancti ty , wh o lies buried near the townof Currah ; his durgah or shrine, which w e visi ted , i ssituated in the midst of an extensive paved court

,nearly

encompassed by shabby whitewashed buildings, shadedS word

, whence probably scimitar.


by two or three giganti c trees, some of the arms of whichw ere leaning for support on the buildi ngs they had solong shaded

,l ike parents claiming in age the support o f

their chi ldren— their natural props . It has, we weretold

,an establishment of peerz adas, or attendant pri ests,

and land attached for their support, the supply of oil forthe lamps, &c.

I could never learn clearly or posi tively the cause ofso vast a congregation of tombs as this neighbourhoodexhibits

,many square miles being covered wi th them ;

but my companion was told b y villagers whom he questi oned on the subj ect, that th ey covered the remains ofthe slain who fell in a great battle . As , however, th edates on the tombs are of various peri ods, this musthave been the hardest fough t battle on record—or theprocess of interment singularly slow.

Joking apart,to trust to the on d its and traditi ons of

untutored peasants in any country is far more likely tolead to error than to enlighten, in nine cases out of ten .

Having much enj oyed my three days’

halt at Currah,I

once more pursued my onw ard course, my hospi tab lehost sendi ng down to my boat a profusion of butter,fresh bread , and vegetables, for my voyage, with a pieceof mutton

,on the integri ty of which he told me I might

confidently rely : this was, at all even ts, pufi ng i t in aproper manner.I found the country between Currah and Cawnpore tocontain nothing parti cularly remarkable ; groves , ghauts,mud-b ui l t towns, ravines, and sand-banks consti tuted i tsleading features . O u one of the latter, one fine coldevening, I performed the funeral obsequies of the one

eyed bull-dog, who had been long in a declining s tatethe climate evidently did not agree with his constitution

,

and he slowly sunk under i ts effects . The intermentwas conducted by Nuncoo Matar, and Teazer, now consti tuting the sum total of my kennel, stood by whilsthi s companion Bully was re ceiving those l ast attentionsat our hands.

328 11111101113 or A GRIFFIN .

peculi ar fortes,from the purloiner em passcm t of

lcud d oos * and cucumbers, the thief in ordinary to th emess, to the instructor of the p aroquets, and the cook tothe crew

,and associated one or more of their names wi th

almost every sporting adven ture or exploit in whi ch Ihad been engaged on my way up—a long four months

’

trip .

It i s true I subj ected them occasionally to the rigorousdiscipline of the M arpeetian code in other words,thrashed them soundly when they hesi tated to plungeinto an alligatorish -looking pool after a wounded dabchick ,or capsized my griffinsh ip, as happened once or twice,when staggering wi th me S cotch -cradle fashion , gun andall

,through the sh allow s , to my bolio ; but the good .

natured,placable creatures soon forgot i t, and we were

on the whole very good friends . I believe they knew Iwas a griffin, and, cognizan t of the infirmities of thatsingul ar animal

,made allowances for me

,particularly as

I gave them sometimes,by way of compensati on, a rupee

or a feed of metais (sw eetmeats ) .O upaying the manjee, b e tied up the rupees carefully

in the corner of his turban, and made me a low sal aamh is crew also bowed themselves to the earth . S o muchfor business . He then put up h is hands, and with anagreeable smile

,and in an insinuating tone

,sai d some

thing which I desired Ramdial to explain, though Ip artly guessed its purport.What does he muncta (want) , Ramdial ?He bola (says ) if S ah i b K oos/zee will please give

him buckskis/z .“Yes , yes we

’

ll give him some hoxes—paunch rup ee

bus (R s. 5 enough, eh“Han S ah i b (yes, sir) bus ( enough ) .Having

,in my usual piebald Zz

'

ngua franca, th usconsulted my keeper of th e privy purse

,I ordered him

to disburse a gratui ty of R s. 5 amongst the crew, whichthey gratefully received, with many salaams . Thus we

Gourd, vegetable marrow .


parted,never more to meet, and thus wound up my

aquatic 1ourney from the presidency to CawnporeThe curtain i s now about to rise on act the last of my

griffinage, and i t may be some consolation to those whohave sat thus long to w i tness the performance, that theyare approaching the d énouement, the grand flourish oftrumpets and ex eunt omnes .

Cawnpore i s the head-quarters of a division, and thestation of several thousand troops of all arms—Withsome sligh t addition

,indeed

,of native tr00ps, a force can

be despatched almost immediately from this station withwhich hardly any Indian army of the present day couldsuccessfully contend in the open field .

At the period embraced by these memoirs, a regimentof dragoons

,two of native cavalry

,one of European ,

and three of native infantry, horse and foot, artillery,p ioneers

,engineers

,&c. , &c.,

consti tuted the amount ofthe mili tary force at C awnpore . The station i tself has abad name amongst Indian stations

,and ri chly does i t

deserve it . Dust,ravines

,and mangy black pigs are the

most striking features of the cantonment ; and theneighbouring country is flat

,arid

,and peculi arly unin

teresting .

The society is large,and time i s killed here pretty

much in the same way as in other large stations—privateand mess parties

,masquerades and fancy dress-balls, and

private theatrical s .I passed a week with the hospitable maj or, which was

principally devoted to making the necessary preparati onsfor my march . I had nearly emptied the general

’

s snuffbox had no p ay due ; and was consequently obliged toconsider economy in my purchases , and to relinqui sh alli deas

,if I ever had them

,of travelling en sea

’

gneur or (31lanawaub .

The first thing was to purchase a nag, and the maj orin thi s undertook to assist me—and thereby hangs a tale .He intimated to one of his regimental functionaries thata young gentleman wanted a pony ; and straigh tway a


rare assortmen t of Rosinantes in miniature made theirappearance in the compound . I never beheld the phraseof raw head and bloody bones so completely reducedto matter-of-fact before as in some of these b i ting satireson the equine race

,most of them grass-cutters

’

tatoosthe quintessence of vice and deformity—abreed peculiarto Ind i a

,and the very pari ar of

Try this fellow,Gernon said the major, laughing

I think he’

ll do for you .

The maj or li ttle though t how near he was to the mark .

O n his so saying, I mounted , or rather threw my leg overa very angular back-bone

,and seizing a primi tive bri dle

of string or cord,solici ted an onward movement with a

gee -up.

Now , whether it was that I touched a tender poin t,or being of greater specific gravity than a bundle ofgrass I know not ; but certainly I was no sooner in afix , as the Yankees say, than the li ttle devil emittedan appalling scream

,clapped back his ears

,and com

menced a rapid retrograde movement, backing me into themidst of seven d evils w orse than himself.In a moment

,I had double that number of heels in

full play around me,spite of the tatoo owners’ attempts

to drive off their animals . A thundering b roadside in theribs of my Bucephalus

,which damaged my leg consider

ably, and other notes of battle sounding around, convinced me speedily that the sooner my friend and Ipar ted company the better . I consequently rolled off,

and scrambled out of the mele’

e, receiving, in retreating ,an accelerator in the shape of another kick on or aboutthe region of the 08 coccyg is . As for the maj or, he wasalmost in convulsions .Confound i t, maj or, that

’

s too bad of you, said I ,to get me on the back of that imp, and now to laughat my misfortunes.

Oh ! then, by dad, you must forgive me, sai d he,The English reader canhave little ideaof the viciousness of Ind ian

horses and tatoos they fight like tigers, part icularly the last-named.

332 MEMO IRS O F A GRIFFI N .

wassail-loving and gormandizing spiri t,wi th an excess

of animalism in o ther respects— still characterizes us ;and

,li ttle as i t may b e thought

,i s a serious hindrance to

soci al and intellectual advancemen t .The more exalted pleasures of th e heart and intellec t

,

let i t b e observed in passing, can only b e enj oyed, individually and national ly, by those who can restrain theirgrosser appetites within moderate bounds . This greattruth the E asterns of old perceived , though ( like alltruth when first discerned ) i t was pushed to a viciousextreme in this case— that of excess ive mortification.

This inordinate love of that which administers gratification to the senses ( allowable in a moderate degree )i s

,i t appears to my humble apprehens ion

,our prime

national defect ; i t engenders a fearful selfishness andprofusion—militates against that moderation and simpl ic ity of character from which great things spring—marksa state of pseudo-civiliz ation , and causes to be left fallowor but parti ally cul tivated the field of the benevolentaffections— the true source of the purest enj oyments .When man shall be sought and prized for his quali ti es

and v irtues,and not for his mere adj uncts of wealth and

station ; when happy human hearts and smiling humanfaces shall have more real charms for the great and re

fined than the p i rouettes of a Taglioni or the strains ofa Rubini ; when the glow of self-approval shall b e ableto battle with the fashionable sneer and the

“ world’

sd read laugh , and the duties of kindred and countryshall take precedence of mi ssions to the blacks

,

”

andthe like then

,indeed, shall we be opening a new field

for the mighty energies of our race,and entering on a

h appy millennium .

What a power to effect good , by leading the youngand aw akening spiri t of the age into paths of peace, dothe ari stocracy of this country possess, if they w ould butuse i t ! S tanding on the vantage ground of fashion ,wealth and station

,they might infuse fresh moral and

intellec tual vigour into the nation, and s tem, by all that


i s liberal,ennobling

,and refining, the somewhat sordid

and mediocre influences of mere commercial wealth .

Truth,from them

,would prevailwith double sway

whi lst philanthropi sts in seedy coats may plead invai n with the fervour of a Paul and the eloquence of aDemosthenes . What

’

s in a name ? says Shakespeare—“

a rose by any other name would smell as sweet .There the immortal bard utterly belied his usual accuracy.

CHAPTE R XXI V .

A MILITARY execution must b e,under all circumstances

and to all persons, an awful and striking exhibition butseen for the first time

,i t makes on the young mind a

pecul iarly deep and painful impression . An Europeansoldier of one of the regiments at the stati on had

,in a

fi t of passion and disappointment,attemp ted the life of

his officer,and, agreeably to the necessarily stern pro

visions of military law, was sentenced to be shot. Iwitnessed the execution a solemn scene i t was

,and

one which wil l never b e effaced from my memory .

The troops of various arms,European and native

,

were drawn up when I reached the parade, and formedin three sides of an immense square

,facing inwards .

The arms were “ ordered,and a portentous silenc e

prevailed, broken only occasionally by the clank of amoun ted officer

’

s sword, and the tramp of his horse’s

hoofs as he rode slowly down the ranks . The morningmists were beginning to disperse , and the bright sunwas darting his long and almost level rays across thep arade ground, and gleaming brightly on a forest ofsteel and dazzling accoutrements—the last sunrise theunhappy criminal was ever destined to behold .

This is a. faithful descriptionof areal occurrence, though it d id nottake place at the supposed tim&

334 MEMO IRS O F A GRIFFIN.

The roll of the drum now announced his arrival, andsoon the procession

,in w hich b e occupied a conspicuous

posi tion,rounded the flank of one of the sides of the

square .F irst marched

,at a slow -pace, a party bearing the

coffin of the condemned, followed by the executionparty then the band

,playing the Dead M arch m Saul :

i t was a frightful scene , and sent adamp to my heartwhat must have been i ts effects on the unhappy manhimselfLast in the melancholy procession came a litter (doo

li e) , borne on the shoulders of men ; and in i t, wi th awhi te cap on his head

,and a face calm and resigned, but

deadly pale, sat the unfortunate soldier, for whom,I con

fess,I felt most deeply. By his side , arrayed in full

canonicals,walked the chaplain, his book open in his

h and,reading those prayers and promises ~ speaking of

p ardon and hope—which are calculated to cheer thep arting hour, and to soften the b i tterness of death .

The processi on having passed slow ly along the frontof each regiment, which , from the great extent of thesquare

,occupied a considerable time

,now drew ofi

’

to

the centre of what,if comple te

,would have consti

tuted the fourth side of the paral lelogram : there i thalted .

The cofii n-bearers placed their burden on the groundand retired ; the execution-party drew up at some di stance from it. The pri soner left h is doolie , and , aecom

panied by the clergyman , walked slowly and wi th afirm step towards the coffin ; on this they both knelt,with their faces towards the troops, and prayed wi th uplifted hands .Profound was the silence . A soul was preparing for

e terni ty ! Being a spectator at large, I selected myposition, and being close to the spot , saw all distinctly.

After some time had been occupied in prayer,the

chaplain retired,when the j udge advocate, on horseback,

came forward, and, drawing forth the warrant for the


cry which had died unborn wi th the passing pang oneblood-red spo t on his cheek, where a bullet had entered,l ending i ts frightful contrast to the marbly hue of hisfeatures the heel of one foo t reste d on the coffin, theo ther on the ground ; h is hands open and on theirbacks .A short pause now ensued , which was soon followed

by a sti r of mounted officers galloping to and fro , andthe loud command to wheel back into open column

,

and marchIn this order the whole force advanced

,the bands of

the several regimen ts playing in succession, as theymarched past the corpse , the deep and solemn strains ofthe Ad este F ideles, or Portuguese Hymn , a dirge-like air,admirably adapted for such occasions

,and which breathes

the very soul of mel ancholy.

As the flanks of each company passed, almost touching the dead man , i t was curious to observe the vari ousexpressions in the countenances of th e so ldiers, Euro ~

pean and sepoy, as they stole their almost scared andsi delong gl ances at it.The non-mili tary reader will b e a li ttle surprised

,as

I am sure I was, when I tell him that each regiment,after having passed the body a few hundred yards

,

changed the slow to quick march , and diverged to theirseveral l ines, pl aying The girl I left behind me, orsome similar l ively ai r, with a view,

I presume, to di ssip ate the recent impression .

The wisdom of such a proceeding i s by no meansself-evident ; i t seems indecen t, to say the least of i tto be consistent, we should always ring a merry pealafter a funeral

,or a gallopade home from church .

Bidding adieu to my friend the maj or,and duly

equipped for the mar ch, I left Cawnpore for Futtyghur,and the follow ing was the composi tion of my ratherpatriarch al turn-out—bating the red coats and musketsof my escort : a nai ck and six sepoys of Niz amut

,or

mili ti a we migh t have passed .pretty well for the secti on

338 MEMOIRS on A GRI FFIN .

It i s the almost invari able custom in Indi a to marchin the early p art of the morning , so as to reach thehalting-ground before the sun has attained much powerbut I was ei ther ignorant of the practice, or thought i tw ould b e preferable to reverse the system ; certain i t i s,that for some time I always marched in th e evenings,arriving at my ground sometimes after dark by thatmeans I was enabled to ri se at my own

’

hour comfortably the next morning

,and had the whole day ti ll

about sunse t for my amusement .About that time I would seat myself on a chair

under a tree,w i th my kuli an in my hand, and super

intend the striking and loadi ng my ten t, See . Abouthalf an hour after they w ere fairly off

,I would ri se

like a gian t refreshed , mount my steed, whi lst mysyce obsequiously held my sti rrup

,and, fairly seated,

would follow the baggage .I love to recall in imagination those days, the open

ing ones of my independent exi stence . How vividlycan I recall the scene which thi s march so often presen ted ! the waning sunlight of the cold wi nter evenings

,a few bright s treaks j ust tinging the horizon

,my

hackery slowly wending i ts way over the plain, and

my scattered servants crawling behind i t,in a cloud of

dust ; the mango groves—vi llages—mud huts,and

all th e accompaniments of a country life in UpperInd i a !I must not here omi t to mention that

,p ri or to my

leaving Cawnpore, I received a letter from my friend andp atron Captain M arpee t, with whom I occasionally corresponded i t was couched in his usual frank and halfb an tering sty le , and informed me that his regiment wason the eve of marching to Delhi , and that he anti cipatedgreat pleasure in meeting me there . Thus i t concludedRecollect, my dear b oy , I shall have a room at your

servi ce, and that y ou put up w i th me on‘ your arrival ;

youare not fi t to take care of yourself ye t, and requi re alittle more of my drilling and paternal care. G ive me a


few lines from Futtygbur, and mention when I may expec tyou . A friend of mine

,Judge S ympkin, is now out in

the distric t through whi ch you will p ass, on some Mofussil business . I enclose you a few lines of introduction

,

and have wri tten to tell him he may expect you . He i s aprincely fellow

,a first-rate sportsman, and lives like a

figh ting-cock, as a Bengal civil ian should do . H0ping

soon to shake you by the hand ,I am

,worthy Griff,

Yours, &cJ M AR PE E T.

A few days brough t me to Futtyghur, of which I haveno thing particular to record , excepting that the adj oiningtown of Furruckabad i s celebrated for the manufactureof tent cloth and camp equipage, and as the scene of thedefeat of Holkar

’

s cavalry by our dragoons in LordLake

’

s war.By the way, an officer who was in that action told the

relator, that the Brummagem swords of the troopers wouldmake little or no impression on the quilted j ackets andvests of the Mahrattas

,and that he saw many of them

d ismount and take the well-tempered blades of thenatives they had pi stoled , and use them instead of theirown . The keen razor-like swords of the E as t give thosew ho wield them a fearful advantage over men armedwith our mealy affairs . The former will split a mandown from the nave to the chine,

"

or slice off his headwi th infini te ease (sauf kam a, to shave him clean , i sthe Indian phrase ) , whilst ours require immense physical force to produce such a result.The author once met some troopers of the 4 th Regi

ment of Native Cavalry,some squadrons of which were

dismi ssed for turning tail when ordered to charge th eex-raj ah of Kotah

’

s body-guard, and asked them how

they came to disgrace themselves. The answer of oneof them was,Why, what chance, sir, have we with men in chain

Z 2

340 11111101115 or A GRIFFIN .

armour, and wi elding sword s of such a temper that theywill cut down horse and man at a single blowI mention this as bearing on recent ac ts and di scus

sions,not in justification of the men, but as affording a

probable clue to the backwardness of our cavalry on someoccasions. I think we are prone to rely too much onthe power of disciplined troops acting en masse, to theneglec t of those matters calculated to increase individualprowess . Good arms are a first-rate consideration

,not

only for the superior executi on they do,but on accoun t

of the confidence wi th which they inspire the soldi er .A t Futtyghur my tent was besie ged by the venders of

cloth, &c., and one man brough t a number of tulwars

( swords ) made at R ampore, in R oh ilcund , a place celeb rated for them

,for sale . After some higgling, I pur

chased one,a keen and well-poised blade, for the small

sum of R s. 4 . I longed to try i t upon some neck orother

,and , as luck would have it, soon had the desired

opportunity,on a felonious pari ar dog, whi ch had made

free with a portion of my dinner.I had advanced some four or five marches beyond Fur

ruckab ad , each d ay di versified by some novelty in th escenery—some fresh obj ect

,in the shape of travellers

,

pilgrims,buildings

,and the like—but stil l beginning to

feel the want of a companion whose language was thesame as my own

,when one morn ing

,as I was strolling

,

with my pellet-bow in my hand ( for I had resumed i t, . inspite of the crack on the thumb ) , I observed at a dist ance a horseman slowly approaching.

As he came nearer,I observed he was moun ted on a

tall Rosinante—looking s teed, with a flowing tail andmane hi s head—stall was of a sort of red bell-rope-looking cord ; a bunch of red clo th, something like a handkerchief, dangled under his horse

’

s chi n , from whence astanding martingale p assed between his l egs . Amuletsand chains were round his animal

’

s neck, and the saddle( or cushion, rather ) was covered wi th a square broadcloth of red and yellow Chequers .


That will do,I inwardly ej aculated, as, after exam

ining the seal and superscription , I conveyed the letter tomy pocket. I instantly ordered my pony, and girdingon my Sp i t

,wherewith to destroy any chance giants or

dragons I migh t encoun ter on the way, I gave the signal,and the sowar and I were soon in a long can ter for thej udge

’

s tents .After a ride of about eigh t miles

,the turn of the road

exhibited to my view the judge’

s encampment,inwhich

were tents and people enough for nearly a regiment offive hundred men.

Under a spreading banyan-tree were a couple of ele

phants, eating branches of trees for their tea, as we dowater-cresses

,and sundry camels bub b lingfi’e and roaring ,

and uprearing their lo fty necks by the well-side,where,

from the force of associ ation,I almost looked for Jacob

and the fair Rebecca,as represented in those S cripture

prints which in infancy we love to dwell upon,and whence

probably ori ginates that exquisi te ch arm,that, through

our future life, i s ever in terwoven with E astern scenesand customs .Under a couple of tamarind trees , four or five beautifulhorses were picketed ; amongst them a milk-white Arab ,with a flow ing tail. This was the j udge

’

s favouri testeed . Pretty well all thi s, though t I , for one man ,and he, too, perhaps , the son of some small gentleman .

My arrival caused a considerable stir at the large tent .Two or three chupprassies, or silver-badge men, darted into announce me ; the bearer caught up the huge redumbrella or chattah , to b e prepared for the great man

’

sex i t, and to guard his honoured cranium from the raysof the now declining sun. One or two others heldaside the purdahs

,or chicks , and M r. S ympkin, a w ell

compacted, hearty, j olly, b ut wi thal gentlemanly man , o fforty-five or fifty, or thereabouts , stood forth to vi ew hewas followed b y a fat squabby man , of the colour ofWhen the camel blow s out his water-bag from h is mouth, the act is

attended with a loud gurgling, or rather bubbling sound.

MEMOIRS O F A GRIFFIN. 3 43

yellow soap or saffron, who, though attired in something like the European garb , did not, nevertheless, inother respects

,seem to belong to our quarter of the

globe .The j udge shook me hearti ly by the hand

,and was at

once so smiling and cordial,that I began to fancy I

must certainly have known h im somewhere before, andthat this could never be the first of our acquaintance .It was true downrigh t goodness of heart, burstingthrough the cobwebs of ceremony

,and going slap -bang

to its purpose .Well, M r. Gernon, I

’

m happy to see you here soundand safe . I hope my sowar pi loted youwell how faroff have you left your tentsHaving replied to these queries

,he ag ain resumed .

When did you hear last from our friend M arpeetno t since I did , I dare say . Come, g ive your pony tothat man

,and he

’

ll take care of him for you .

I resigned my tatoo,who was led off.

The j udge’

s servants smiled , and exchanged significantglances, as my little j aded rat, with accoutrementscalculated for a horse of sixteen hands high, was

marched away. I confess, for the first time, I feltperfectly ashamed of him .

“ Come in,

”

said the judge, we will dine somewhatearlier on your account ; but, in the meantime, as youmust be fatigued , a glass of wine will refresh you. Quilaye

? sherry-shrob Zou. By the bye, said he, recollect

ing himself,as w e turned to enter the tent, I had nearly

forgotten to introduce you to a fellow-traveller . EnsignGernon

,the Rev . M r. Arratoon Bagram S arkies 5 M r.

S arkies, M r. Gernon .

”

The li ttle fat man smiled benignantly,as with a look

betokening that my youth and deportment had made apleasing impression upon him, he, in a manner halfAsiati c

,tendered me h is hand, as if he felt himself bound

in duty to back the j udge”

s cordiali ty.

I was sorely puz z led to divine who this amiable little


personage could b e, and to wh at portion of the churchuniversal his reverence belonged . M r. S ympkin seemed,I thought

,to enj oy my gaping looks of astonishment

,

but took an opportuni ty of informing me,very shortly

afterwards,that M r. S arkies was an Armeni an mission

ary, proceeding to Guzerat wi th a camel load of tracts,in di vers E astern languages

,for the purpose of convert

ing the natives .At the same time that he gave me this information

,

h e proposed, i f agreeable to me, that we should keepeach other company for the few marches during whichour route would lie together. To this proposal I j oyfully assented , for though the good missionary was notexactly the sort of companion I should have selected ,had a choice been given me

,nevertheless

,an associ ate

of any kind wh o could speak my own language was,

under present circumstances,a great acquisition .

Dinner soon made i ts appearance in the tent,which

was fitted up with carpets,glass shades

,attached by

Clasps to the poles,and , in short, everything that could

render i t comfortable and luxurious, and make as forgetthat we were in the wilds of Hindostan .

The v i ands,which in excellence could not be surpassed

by anything procurable, of their several kinds, at themost fashionable hote l or club house at the w est end ofthe town

,were served in burnished silver. The wines

and ales, of the most deli ci ous kinds , were cooled atmervei lle , and we were wai ted Upon by fine, proudlooking domesti cs

,in ri ch liveries

,who seemed fully

sensi b le of the lustre they borrow ed from their master’

simportance in short

,I found myself all at once revelling

in luxury, and was made to feel , though in the pleasantest

possibl e way, the vastness of the gap which separates a

griffin going to j oin from the j udge of a zil lah court.M r. S arkies

,too

,though his occupation referred more

immediately to the other world,seemed , like myself, by

no means insensible to the comforts of this mundanestate of existence

,paying very marked attention to the

346 MEMOIRS or A ( 11111111 11 1

the air clear and bracing, and the sun, as i s the case inthis lati tude and season , possessed of li ttle pow er.Breakfast over

,the judge ordered hi s gun to be laid on

the table, and at the same time asked me how I wasprovided in that way . I told him I was possessed of agun, but I dared say he would not deem i t a first-ratepiece of ordn ance .

“ Allow me to look at it,said h e ; I

’

ll send a manto your tent for it ; and with thi s b e despatched a servantto my routee.

The j udge cli cked my locks,turned the piece about,

took a peep at the muzzles,which were in rather fine

order for cutting wadding,in the absence of the instru

ment usually employed for that purpose,shook hi s head,

and returned i t to me .Come,

”

sai d he, I think we can set you up wi th abetter piece than th at for the day ; though ,

”

added hearchly, i t appears to have seen a li ttle servi ce too ;and so saying , he put together a splendid Joe Manton,the locks of which spoke eloquently as he played themoff , and he placed i t in my hands.

“ Have you eversho t off an eleph ant ?

Never,sir

,said I

,though I h ave ridden upon one

more than once .Well , then , you must make your first essay to-day ;

i t i s no easy matter ; you must allow for the ri se andfall of the animal , and tak e care y ou don

’

t bag any ofthe b lack fellows alongsi de of you .

I laughingly assured him I would endeavour to avoidthat mistake .

Come ‘ along, then , said he I think we are nowreadyf

’

The j udge had tw o noble shekarrie, or hun tingelephants , trained to face the tiger, and for sport ingeneral , which stood ready capari soned

,with their

flaming red j kools, or housings, in front of the tent . In

the howdah of one of them I took my seat,whilst the

j udge occupied that of the other.

mnmoms or A GRIFFIN. 347

Duly seated , guns secured, brandy and lunch stowedaway in the lc/zowas or dicky

,the stately brutes rose at

the command of the drivers from their recumbentpostures the ord erly Cossack-looking horsemen mounted ;the troop of beaters shouldered their long laties or poles,and we were instantly bearing aw ay in full swing for thesporting-ground . This lay at the distance of three orfour miles from our encampment, and consisted of along shallow jheel or lake, skirted by tracks of rankgrass

,terminating in c ultivation , villages, and groves of

trees .The elephant moves both legs at one side simultane

ously, consequently the body rises and falls , and hismotion i s that of a ship at sea, and I felt before I triedi t that I should make nothing of my first attempt toshoot off one .We now formed line, the j udge

’

s elephant at oneextremi ty, or pretty nearly so, and mine at the other, andadvanced .

Keep a good look-out,Gernon

,cried my host ; we

shall have something up immediately .

”

He had scarcely uttered the words,when up fiustered

a huge bird from under the elephant’

s feet,towering

perpendicularly overhead ; his b urnished throat, goldenhues, and long sw eeping tail, proclaimed him at once awild peacock . I endeavoured to cover him

, but al l invain , my gun

’

s muzzles,like the poet

’

s eye,were

alternately directed from earth to heaven , through theup

-and-down motion of the elephant . However, I blazedaw ay both barrels, but without touching a feather. O n

attaining a certain elevation,he struck off horizontally,

wings expanded, cleaving the air l ike a meteor ; bu t,passing to the rear of my companlon, b e, with the greatestsang f roz

’

d, rose, turned round in his howdah , and

dropped him as dead as a stone,amidst cries of Zugga

lugga (“ hit mam (

“ killed and wan, wau

bravoIt i s not considered very sportsmanlike to shoo t the


full-grown peacock in Indi a th e chicks are,however

,

capi tal eating,and are o ften bagged . In this instance

,

the j udge had evidently brought down the peacock formy gratification; this I inferred from his immediatelysending i t to me by one of his horsemen , who hoisted i tup into the howdah at the end of his spear.As we advanced farther into the long grass

,evidences

of the deserved character of the spo t began to thi ckenaround as ; black partridges rose every moment, and thejudge tumbled them over right and left

,but no t a

feather could I touch .

Our line now made a sweep,with a view to emerging

from the grass, and immediately a beautiful sight presented i tself ; i t was a whole herd of an telopes, rousedby our heaters from their repose

,and which went off

before us,bounding wi th the grace of Taglioni . Tw o

sharp cracks,and lugga, lugga ! proclaimed that M r.

S ympkinhad laid an embargo on one or more of them .

This proved to be the case,and a fine black buck

antelope,w i th spiral horns and a white streak down his

side,and a fawn abou t half-grown

,were soon seen

dangling from the broad quarters of the elephant .O n approaching the very verge of the long grass, a

cry of sewer , sewer ! was followed by a wild hog'

s bol ting . I fired at him

,and put a few sho ts in the hind

quarters of one of the j udge’

s horses,who thereat reared

and plunged,j erked off his rider

’

s cap,and had nearly

dismounted the rider himself,whom I could hear

muttering a few curses at my awkwardness . The judgealso discharged a brace of barrel s at him , but he gotoff

, and we saw him for a great distance scouring acrossthe plain .

Having issued from the grass,the j udge drove his

elephan t alongside of mine .Well, how do you get ou? I fear you found what

I said correct,eh You haven

’t b i t much“Much ! I haven

'

t hi t anything,sir

,except one of

your sowars’ horses, I am sorry to say i t i s most tanta

350 MEMOIR S or A GRI FFIN .

heads successively ; this al arming them ,and preven ting

every attempt to qui t the street in whi ch they wereconfined .

In th is clever way th ey forced the deer, edging themon at full speed into the nets , into whi ch they tumbledheadlong

,rolling over and over

,completely manacled in

the toils . I never saw anything so cleverly managedthe fellows did everything with wonderful coolness andtact, and seemed perfectly masters of their craft.Laden wi th game , after a most in teresting day

’

s sport,we returned to M r. S ympkin

’

s ten t,where we found our

smiling li ttle friend , th e Padre, with hi s ever-ready handextended , and prepared to receive and to congratul ate us.

Afte r passing another day with our princely host, wetook our leave and commenced our j ourney . Our tentshad been sent overnight, and after an abundant breakfast,Ensign Gernon

,the Griffin, and the R ev. Arratoon

Bagram S arkies, soon found themselves j ogging along,di scussing things 1n general in as cosy di al ogues as thoserecorded to have taken place between the renowned knigh tof La Mancha and hi s valorous squi re. The good missionary, I was flatteral to observe, took a w arm andaffectiona te interest in me

,which b e manifested by a

strong effort to impress upon me the deep importance ofhi s religious views .One afternoon, as the missi onary and I w ere si tting

outside our tents,my attention was attracted tow ards a

group of sepahis engaged under a b anyan-tree playi ngthe game of back-sword . As

,th e mode in which this

exerci se i s conducted may be new to the reader,I shall

describe it .

The first who en tered the li sts or circle of spectatorswere two handsome and well-formed Raj poots, who wouldh ave served for models of Apollo

,and w ho in this exercise

display uncommon agi li ty and suppleness of limb ; theywere naked to the loins

,round which

,the hips, and upper

part of the thighs,was tightly wound the d o lee, or wai st

clo th, which sus tai ns and strengthens the back—the


girding of the loins,so often mentioned in S crip ture

,

&c. E ach of the men held in hi s left hand a diminutiveleathern shield or target

,less than a foot in diameter

,

whilst his righ t grasped a long wooden sword , coveredalso with leather

,and p added and guarded about the

handle.Having exchanged salutes

,one of them

,holding h is

weapon at the recover, and planting himself in a firm

attitude,bent a stern gaze on hi s adversary, which seemed

to say, Now do your’

worst .

The other now commenced those ludicrously grotesqueantics which

,amongst the Hindoostanee athletae, are

always the prelude to a set-to . He first , with the air ofa mai ling d e ballet , took two or three sw eeping steps tothe right, eyed his opponent for an instant, and thenki cking up his foot b ehind , so as almost to touch thesmall of h is back , he tw i rled round on his heel , and withhis ches t expanded and thrown proudly out, made anothergrave and prancing movement in the other direction ; henow approached nearer

,struck the ground with his sword

,

d ared his adversary to the onset , and again retreated wi thtwo or three long back-steps to the u tmost verge of thecircle formed by the spectators . Like cauti ous enemies

,

however,neither seemed to like to commi t himself until

sure of a palpable hit .At last, however, he who had been standing on the

defensive,following with his hawk

’

s eye the other’

s strutting gyrations

,perceiving an advantage

,l evelled a blow

at his adversary with the rapidity of lightning, which wascaught on the target and returned as quick as though t.A rapid ‘ and animated exchange of strokes now took place

,

accompanied by the most agile bounds and movements ;most of these blows rattled on the targets ; head andshoulders, nevertheless, came in for an ample share ofugly b i ts .The fight at length ceased , and the breathless and

exhausted combatants rested from their gladiatori al exhib ition, amidst many

“wau, waus and “

slzabases

352 111z11ori1s 011 A GRIFFIN .

bravos resigning their weapons to two others anxiousto di spl ay their prowess.Subsequent experi ence of them has convinced me th at

a finer body of men i s hardly to be found than the sepoysof Hindostan, particularly in their own country for,taken out of i t in to a climate where the food, water, 810 ,

di sagree wi th them, they lose much of their spirit andstam ina .O ur coun tryman, the B ri tish soldier, possesses an un

rivalled energy and bull-dog courage , which certainly,when the tug of war—the hour of real danger—comes,must

,as i t ever has done

,h ear everything before i t ; but

j usti ce demands the admission that,in many other

respects, the sepoy con trasts most favourably with himtemperate , respectful, patien t, subordinate, and faithfulone of hi s highest principles being fidelity to his sal t,h e adds to no ordinary degree of courage every otherrequisite of a good soldi er.A j udicious poli cy towards these men

,based on a

thorough know ledge of their peculiar ch aracteri sti cs,

may bind them to us for ages yet to come, by the d oub l elink of affection and interest, and enable us, as an Indi anpower

,to laugh alike at foreign foes and domesti c

enemies ; whilst a contrary course, and leaving theirfeelings and customs to be trifled with by inexperiencedinnovators, may, ere long, produce an Opposi te effect,and cause them , i f once ali enated , to shake us off l ikedew-drops from the lion

’

s mane .Serais, or places of entertai nmen t for wayfarers—well

known to all readers of E astern tales as caravan-serai sI frequently met with at towns on my march , and sometimes encamped within or near the walls . The serais ,like the generali ty of buildings in India

,are almost

always in a ruinous s tate , i t being nobody’

s business tokeep them in a state of rep air.These structures , some of them the frui ts of the piety

and munificence of former times, are a great publicb enefit ; their construction i s general ly similar, and con

354 11n110ms or A GRIFFIN .

i n my griffinish days, and since , I have contemplatedwith pleasure .In a day or two we reached Ai lyghur, where my good

friend the missionary and I were destined to part , hisroute lying to the southw ard towards Agra

,mine in a

more northerly directi on to Delhi . Here I received afew lines from M arpeet, saying that he was looking formy arrival wi th great pleasure . You had better pushon as fast as you can, my dear Gernon , for your commandant

,who is a crusty old fellow, and a very tigh t

hand, has been heard to express hi s surpri se at your no thaving long since made your appearance .This letter rather damped the buoyancy of my spirits .

The following morning I took leave of my good friendthe missionary ; his eyes filled w i th tears as he cl aspedmy hands in both of his

,and wh ilst pressing them to hi s

bosom, pronounced a prayer and a blessing over me .If i t indeed be true

,and we have no reason to doub t

i t, that the prayer of the ri ghteous man avai leth much,”

that prayer was deeply to be valued . Short as was thetime of our acquaintance , I felt as i f I had known himall my life, and was, consequently, much affected at p ar ting . Half-choking as he rode off, I waved him a sorrowful, and what has proved a last, adieu .

CHAPTER XXV.

A FEW days more brought me to my last day’

s march onthe b anks of the Jumna , and the mosques and minaretso f the ancien t capital of India broke on my deli ghtedVlew .

I had scarcely dismounted from my pony at my ten td oor

,which commanded a di stant glimpse of the blue

and “ soft steali ng Jumna, when I perceived threeEuropeans on horseback appro ach ing at a h ard gallop .

As th ey drew near,I recognized in one of the three my


friend and Mentor, Cap tain M arpeet. He was soon up ,

and warm and cordial was our greeting.

Well , my boy, long looked-for comes at l ast glad tohave y ou amongst us, Gernon ,

”

sai d b e, p resen ting me tohis companions

,two laughing

,beardless ensigns ;

“ le tme introduce you to my two boys, Wildfire and Skylarktwo intractable dogs

,added b e, laughing ; have given

me twice the trouble to break in that you did .

Wildfire and Skylark shook hands with me, and in tenminutes we were as intimate as if we had known eachother for six months .Come

,mount again , Gernon, said M arpeet you

are but a few miles from Delhi , and i t i s useless for youto remai n here all day . Come along ; I have breakfastal l ready for you at my shop ; your things, you know,

can follow to-morrow you d on’

t, though, appear to beoverburthened wi th baggage , Frank, eh ? Dogs

,too

hah—regular terri er bunnow f l< Great a grifi’

as ever,I

see—hah ! hah !We pursued our course towards can tonments

,M arpeet

riding in the midst of hi s p rotég és as proud ly as an oldgander on a green at the head of three orphan goslings .We crossed the river Jumna in a broad , square , fiat

bottomed ferry-boat and after riding through some ri chcul tivation on i ts banks , j oined a road skirting part ofthe ruins of ancient Delhi , which from that pointexhibited a confused assemblage of ruins—fort

,mosque

,

tomb, and palace— stretching far aw ay beh ind us in thedistance, tow ards what I afterwards learned was the mausoleum of Humaioon.

I was particularly struck , as I rode on, by one largedesolate building

,which Captain M arpeet informed me

was the ancient pal ace of Firo z e Shah. A lofty pi llar ofstone, something like one of th e round towers of Ireland ,rose out of th e centre of it, whilst th e whole mass ofbuilding exhib ited a touching picture of loneliness and

Terr ier bunnow—avi llage pariar dog, docket! and cropped to makeh im pass for aterrier.

A A 2

356 M EMO IRS O F A 01111 1 111.

deso lati on long grass and the silvery roo ts of the peepulgrew around the battered arches and easements, out ofone of whi ch a couple of fat and saucy j ackals w erepeeping, to reconnoi tre us as w e rode beneath .

We entered the mod ern ci ty near the mansion of th eN awaub Ahmed Buksh Kban,* through an embattledgatew ay occupied b y a guard of N ujjeeb s, a sort o f

highly picturesque mili ti a , attired in the Hindoostaneegarb

,and armed and equipped w i th crooked stocked

matchlocks mull shaped powd er-,

horns and other para

phernalia of a v ery primitive and extraordinary description . These men , who w ere upon guard, were smoking,sleeping

,and doing their best to kill old Time, that

enemy w ho,in the long run, i s pretty sure to kill us .

We were soon in that part of the town called Derriow

Gunge , where a portion of the troops w ere cantoned j‘

and drawing up befo re an odd sort o f building, of a verymixed sty le of archi tecture, my fri end di smounted , andannounced my arrival at M arpeet Hall , to which , myboy

,said he

,w i th a squeeze, you are hearti ly w el come,

and where you may stick up your spoon, with my twobabes in the w ood the re

,as long as you please ; don

'

tblow me up, th at

'

s all,or set the house on fire , and you

may do w hat else you like . S o now for breakfast,

”

saidthe captain ,

cracking his half-hunter (whip ) , as a hint, Ipresumed, to the bawurc/we ( cook ) to b e expediti ous , andshouting “

lzaz ree looe j uld ee (" breakfast quickly

he motioned us to en ter, and followed .

The captain’

s residence h ad been in the olden time amosque or tomb, I canno t exactly say which ; but withthe addi tion of a terrace and verandah, and a few extradoors punched through walls six feet thi ck, i t made acapi tal abode, combining the coolness in summer andthe w armth in winter, whi ch resul t from this solid mode

Whose son acquired since a. dreadful celebri ty as th e murderer of

M r. Fraser.

1 S ince this period, cantonments have beenerected outside the walls ofthe ci ty.


as we went along , h0ping to eli ci t a li ttle consol ati on 1nthe shape of a negative.

“ Why, sai d the adj utant, he i s certainly a greatstickler for duty, and fond of working the young handswhat we cal l a ‘ tigh t hand .I was floored .

The colonel’

s bungalow was on the ramparts of th ecity

,overlooking the Jumna

,and the exp anse of country

through which it flows. O rderli es and a posse of si lversti ck men , &c.

, were about the door ; we entered , and theadj utant p resen ted me to Colonel Bobbery

,one of the

most extraordinary-looking li ttle mortals I ever beheld .

The colonel’

s height was about five fee t four—perhapsl ess—and his body as nearly approaching to an oblatespheriod as any body I ever beheld . This orbicular masswas supported on two li ttle legs, adorned with verycrumpled tights, and a pair of Hessi an boots, then muchworn

,and minus the usual appendage of tassels . His

neck , which was remarkably long, was girt round with avery tigh t black stock, on the top of which , as may besupposed , was his head, the most extraordinary part ofthis very original specimen of the human form divinehi s front face (profile he had none, which could be properly so called, hating an irregular curve wi th a l argebulbous proj ection about the middle ) was fat and rub icund his nose B ardolphian

,flanked by two goggle—eyes ,

in whi ch the several expressions of intellect , fun,and

sensuali ty were singul arly blended . A small Welsh w igcompleted the oddest tout ensemb le I had yet seen in India .

Oh ! you are the young gentleman we have beenexpecting for the l ast five months — better late thannever—glad to see you at l ast, sir.”I mentioned something about friends—hospitali ty

and detention .

Oh,yes , yes ! I know all about that the old story

yes, yes ! but youmust be quicker in your future move

ments—eh , M archwell ?”said b e, turning to the adj u

taut ver bum sap , you know,ver bum sap .


After a rather prolonged conversation,during which I

informed h im I had done duty w i th the ZuburdustBullumteers , and gave him some accoun t of hi s friend,M r. S ympkin, which he was pleased to receive, I rose totake my leave.Who are you wi th ? asked the colonel .I told him with Captain M arpeet .Oh my friend M arpeet, eh ? Well

,tell him to dine

with me to-morrow, and bring you with him . I dine atsix, and wai t for nobody. M arohwell

,M r. Gernon wi ll

attend all dri lls, parades, and guard-mountings ; w e

mustn’

t let you forget what Colonel Lolsaug has taughtyou .

I soon became comfortably domiciled with my friendM arpeet, who introduced me to my brother-ofiicers, andput me generally in th e way of doing all that was re

quisite in the new scene in which I found myself.The more I saw of M arpeet, the more the extreme

kindness and benevolence of his disposition becameapparent. The tenderness of his nature, indeed , wasfrequently too much for h is assumed rough and devil-mecare manner (which he thought manly) , and woul dsometimes

,i f he was taken by surpri se, show i tself with

almost a woman’

s weakness .M arpeet, as I h ave before stated, from invincible

shyness,or awkwardness with females

,or dislike of the

restraint i t imposed,had renounced the character of a

ladies’

man,

” and was evidently doomed to die an oldb achelor. S till

,we must all have something to love and

be kind to,be i t wife

,child, friend, cat , dog, or parrot.

Afi'

ection, i f i t has not something external on whichto rest, turns to gall, embi ttering the life which , under ahappier s tate of things

,i t would h ave sweetened . Mar

peet’

s benevolence displayed itself in his kindness toy outh : rearing grifiins, till fully fledged , constitutinghis extreme deligh t.Never shall I forget the great satisfacti on which hi s

good-humoured physiognomy would express when sur

360 MEMOIRS O F A 01111 1 111.

rounded by a bevy of young hands, al l warm in theirfeelings towards him , and on perfect terms of famili arity,but at the same time exhibiting that profound deferenceto his di ctum on deep and importan t points , such as theage of a horse , the manner of performing a manmuvre,or the way to make mulled port , and the like, which hadthe most bland and soothing influence on his feelings .Skylark

,Wildfire, and myself, were hi s immediate

body-guard ; w e chummed with him , and though heallow ed us to con tribute to the house keeping expenses

,

the lion’

s share , i f the phrase i s here allowable, fell to him .

He and I never quarrelledj; but I could generally inferthe state of his feelings from the name or appellation b ywhich he addressed me . Gernon and Frankibus

were the zero and summer -heat of th e scale , betweenwh ich were my lad

,

” young gentleman,

”

you confounded “ youngster

,

”

and so forth all of which,

b y the invariableness of the circumstances whi ch eli ci tedthem

,indicated the state of his mind at the moment : as

“ Come,my lad , this noise won

’

t do ; and “ Younggentleman

,I h ave to make out my report

,and beg you

won’

t interrupt me . “Well , old boy, how do you get onare you disposed for a game at p icquet ? and so forth ;but

, Come,Gernon, I don

’

t l ike that,told me his

back was b ogged .

”

One blot and inconsistency there was in M arpeet’

s

ch aracter : he was addic ted to flogging his servan ts forwhat we here should deem trifling offences . O u theseoccasions he alw ays , how ever, put the offender throughthe form of a tri al

,in which

,to save trouble

,he acted in

the quintuple capaci ty of plaintiff, judge, j ury, witness,and counsel for the prosecution . After a dispassionatesumming up, the guil ty p arty was wont to be handed overto the kulassee, or tent-pi tcher, to have administered adozen or two of strokes w i th the rattan .

M arpeet would j ustify all this severi ty very logi cally,bu t I shall not trouble the reader with his reasons ;certain i t i s, for all this, he paid his servants regularly,

362 MEMOIR S or A GRIFFIN .

truth from amidst its innumerable counterfei ts com

pensation for the p ast and something like certainty forthe future—huds th e farther he moves the less he knows ,and, amazed and confounded at the profound and mightymystery which surrounds him

,at length sits down and

weeps . Well may we ex clain,The ways of Heavenare dark and intri cate,Puz z led inmaz es and perplex ’

d inerror,Th e understanding traces them invain.

”

Virtue,immortal pl an t, ye will blossom,

118 true, inh eaven, but must ye here b e ever rooted in sorrow andw atered wi th tears ? Oh ! for some mighty intellec t,some second Newton, to c all order out of chaos, lightout of darkness ; to hush the Babel of di scordanttongues

,and give to religi ous and moral truth that clear,

convincing, and commanding aspec t which shall for everab ash th e various forms of perplexi ty and error. Theaw akening mind of the world demands something hkeunity and certain ty

,and will have them if they are to be

b ad . But to proceed .

One of the finest buildings in Delh 1 18 the JummaMusj id

,the principal mosque of the place . I t has three

nobly-proporti oned domes ; also two lofty and magnificent minarets, which I have often ascended , and en

j oyed from thei r summ i ts a noble prospect of the cityand surroundi ng country.

From this heigh t you look down on the flat roofs ofthe houses

, and on a fine evening may observe the ihhabitan ts seated on them , and enj oying their favouri te ,though somewhat childish amusements, o f flying paperki tes and pigeons .The pigeons, of which th e Hindoostanees are great

fanciers , and possess a vast vari ety, are trained to j oinother flocks in their aeri al excursions, and then, byseparating from them wi th great velocity

,to c arry off

some of those wi th which they were commingled thesethey bring back in triumph to their bamboo stands, atthe call or whistle of their owners.

MEMO IRS or A 0111111 111 . 363

At one ex tremity of the city lies the B ri tish residency,always the scene of hospitable doings

,but particularly

so during the period to whi ch I am referring. TheResident at that tim e was a gentl eman who, wi th first

rate talents and solid virtues , combined those social qualiti es which at once command what i t i s often d ifficult touni te—the love and respect of all.Nothi ng could be more agreeable than the residency

p arti es, and on what were called public days,” invi tati ons

were extended to every one in the shape of an Europeanold Mahratta officers

,Portuguese

,French, and half-caste

merch ants, and others without the pale of the regularservice, and no t consti tuting an ordinary portion of thesociety, would swell the levée on such occasions .Punning, as a practi ce or hab it, i s the greatest of

bores, and deserves almost all that Johnson and othersh ave sai d against i t I say almost

,for I do not go the

full length of that alli terative curmudgeon,when he

says, He who would make a pun would pick a pocket.Had this been true

,many an accomplished B arrington

would the residency of Delhi have turned out at thisperiod, wi th their distinguished chief at their head .

How this i tch for punning got into the residency Idon

’

t know , but certain it i s i t did get there, and provedremarkably infectious . A good punwas a first ~rate re

commendation,indeed

,at the residency table, to him

who made it. “Aqui la non cap tat muscas ; which

means, Great wits don’

t condescend to make puns .”

Granted , as a rule but every rule h as i ts exception , andthe Resident of that day was himself

,an the truth b e

spoken, but li ttl e better th an one of the wicked, d eligh ting to take the lead occasional ly in this conversationburking system

,where a man lies in wai t for his neigh

bour’

s words,pounces on one that suits his purpose

,

murders,mangles, and distorts i t without remorse .

O ccasional puns,i f really good

,give a poign ancy to

conversation—a tonquin-b eanish sort of odour, which inmoderati on i s very agreeable

,but the excess of them is


odious . I remember a few of the residen cy puns whi chI think may rank with some of the fairest on re

cord .

The Resident himself was once asked where b e ao

quired h is tas te for punning ; he replied , that he thoughthe must h ave picked i t up when travelling through thePunjaub ,

”

through which country he had accompanied ami881on . A fisherman

,to whom he had paid hand some

w ages to supply him wi th fish , absconded .

“ I alw aysconsidered him a very selfi sh man, sai d the Resident .One of the gates of the palace i s called the Delhi

Gate,and in my time a subaltern’s guard was alway s

stationed there . A young sub , on one occasion , at theresidency table , I believe , asked a friend to take his turnof duty there . Excuse me

,said his fri end

,

“ I can’

tbe your d elegate (Delhi Gate ) to-day .

One observed that grain in one part of the ci ty soldfor so much .

“Yes,replied another, but that i s no t

the agg regate (Agra Gate ) price .These samples may suffice.

I soon began to d i scover the truth of the adj utant’

sremark, that Colonel Bobbery was fond of w orking theyoung hands ; for, w hat w i th morning and eveningdrills

,parades

,and attending guard-mountings, &c., I

had li t tle rest or enj oyment . The plain fact was,that I

was bent on pleasure and hated duty, and the colonel ,by giving me ‘ excess on

’

,t of th e l atter, seemedinjudiciously determined to increase my dislike .

The more I th ink on my early Indian career , and thatof other youths

,the more satisfied I am that the sudden

transi ti on from school to a state of independence i s mostinjurious to the individual and his future happiness ;detrimental to the interest of the state and th at of thepeople we govern ; and, in short, that school-boys arenot fit to be masters of themselves or to command o thers .Nationally , w e possess vast science and almost illimit

able pow ers of destruction ; and nationally, too , we arerespected ; but not so much so, I think, individually.


corn and ploughed fields, for three or four miles, as the crowfl ies

,in a broiling sun, and then, galloping home, would

leave the nex t in command , or adj utant, to bring themback

,covered with dust and drenched wi th pempiration.

Once or twi ce he marched the corps in close columninto the river Jumna when they reached the banksthere shelving— they commenced marking time , whichconsists in moving the fee t withou t advancing ; but theold colonel , to their astonishm ent, roared

“ Forward !and on we all went

,till near waist-deep, when the

column fell into a state of disorder ; the adjutant, onone occasion, tumbled off his horse in the méle

’

e, andgot a thorough soaking . The commander though t, Isuppose , that, as good soldiers, w e ough t to be able tostand water as well as fire.

After I had been about a month at the s tation,I was

put in orders as the sub altern for duty on the Delhi gateo f th e palace, a vast structure , occupied by the king andhi s rel ations and dependants

,whi ch duty continued for

a w eek . Having marched my company down to thegate , I found the sub I was to reli eve, w i th hi s guarddrawnup, all as stiff as ramrods, to receive me. Afterexchanging salutes, and receiving his instructi ons tot ake proper care of the

“ Asylum of th e&c. , he gave th e word quick march to his men , sen tthem off under the subadar, or native cap tain, and thenproceeded to in troduce me to the quarters in which Iwas to pass my p eriod of guard .

In passing the first archway,I found myself in an

enclosure, formed by lofty walls, round the bottom ofwhich ran a line of arcades or Cloi sters ; at the otherend of this enclosure was another noble arch

,surmounted

by a vast and lofty pile of build ings,with windows and

galleri e s ; these were th e quarters of Maj or M .,who

filled the post of killadar,or commander of the fort and

palace guards , a kind-hearted, hospi table, and brawnyCaledonian, who

,amongst o ther harmless eccen tri c iti es,

“ JehanPunnah ,”one of the titles of th e M oguL

11111101118 O F A GRIFFIN . 367

entertained the most profound veneration for th e R owyal

Hoose o’

Teemoor,

”

as he was wont to call it.My own quarters , to which the sub introduced me,

consisted of a small turret,in an angle of the ramparts ,

covered with thatch,and having something the appear

ance of a bee-hive i t contained a table and a few chairs,

considerably the worse for wear, and when my cot wasplaced in it, there was little room left for myself. Here

,

then , for seven long days, I read, shot paroquets wi th mypellet-b ow on the ramparts , cursed the heat and the flies,and conjugated the verb s

’

ennuyer to perfection, throughall its moods and tenses .One interesting break occurred

,and that was hi s

Maj esty Ackbar Shah’

s going out one day, in grandprocession , to visi t the tombs of his ancestors at theKootub Minar.O n this o ccasion my guard was drawn up wi thin the

enclosure , to salute him as he passed, whilst anothercompany of troops

,and two six-pounders, were stationed

without the second archway, on the plain between i t andthe city, for a similar purpose .Little did I think , in my juvenile days, when I looked

on the stern visage of the Great Mogul on the cardcovers , that I should ever have the honour of payingmy respects to that fierce Saracen inp rop r z

'

d persond

but so i t was . I had heard much of E astern magnificence, but b ad never seen before, nor have I indeed since,anything that so completely realiz ed my vague ideasof barbari c pomp

,as this procession of the King of

Delhi .Though there was much in i t that was imperfect, and

which told of reduced means and insufficient resources,i t was still a most striking pageant, and , as i t i ssuedtumultuously from those nob le and resounding gateways ,amidst the clang of wild instruments and echoing voices,I confess I was deligh ted and astonished, and was ab leto pi cture most forcib l y what these things must havebeen when the Moguls were in the z eni th of their power.


We had wai ted for some time,expecting his maj esty

to make hi s appearance when at leng th confused soundsand a di stan t hubbub announced that he was on themove ; presently, ever and anon, a cavalier, some omrahof the old noblesse

,or inferi or horseman

,would come

pricking forth from under the arch ; then another andanother ; then steeds curveting and caracoling, andcovered with ri ch housings and silver ornaments . Afterthis came his maj esty

’

s regiment of Nuueeb s, hurryingforth

,a w i ld- looking body of bearded M ahomedan sol

diery , armed with matchlocks and shields, and atti redin d ark cbup /cuns, or vests, and red turbans ; next camehis camel corps, each man w i th a li ttle pattereroe, orsw ivel gun,

on the h ow of his camel’

s saddle,ramming

dow n and blazing away at a furious rate .By the way , I was told that, on one of these occa

sions,a fellow, in his hurry , sho t off his camel

’

s head .

After these followed a confused assemblage of chiefson horseback

,a knightly train their steeds , half—painted

vermihon or saffron co lour, adorned wi th silver chains ,and housings almost touching the ground , some of themcomposed of the silvery chowries, or Tartarian cow s

’

tails ; mingled w i th these w ere litters , wi th dome - likecanopies and gilded culesses , containing ladies of theharem

,w i th numerous attendants .

The uproar now increased,and a numerous body of

men followed on foot,bearing crescents , green standards ,

golden fish on poles,and other insigni a of the royal

d ignity ; all loudly shouting forth the now empty ti tlesof the fallen monarch . These

,his immediate avant

couriers , were followed by the king himself, seated onan enormous elephant , covered w i th a superb flood ,

or

housings,of crimson velvet ; the huge tusks of the

monster being adorned with silver rings, whilst h is headwas painted w i th crimson and yellow ochres, in bars andflourishes

,like the face of a North American savage,

when arrayed for battle .The king, Ackbar Shah the Second, an aged and ven


The general,she said, had not forgotten me in hi s

parting moments , but sent me hi s blessing, with a hopethat I would no t forget his advice, and would strive toemulate my uncle

,who seemed, indeed , to have been

his model of a cavalier .In conclusion

,she stated that she was about to j oin

some relations who were coming to the Upper Provinces,

and hoped she migh t have an opportuni ty shortly of t enewing my acquaintance, and of assuring me in personthat she was mine very truly.

Yes,mine very truly ! I saw I was booked for the

widow, and began to put more faith than ever in theChinese doctrine of invi sible attrac tion .

“ Let me see,

said I ; the widow i s two-and-twenty, I eighteenwhen I

’

m two-and-twenty,she wil l be six-and-twenty .

Oh,’

twill do admirably ! whatmatters ali ttle dispari ty ?S o I whistled Li llabuler o , after the manner of my uncleToby, concluding afi ettuoso

And around th e d ear ruineach w ish of my heartS hall entwine itself verdantly still.

Cap tain M arpeet, sai d I , one day, after breakfast,I shall to-morrow have been j ust one year in the country

,and according to the Lea: Gfl

'

fim'

ens is I shall be nolonger a greenhorn .

“ Have you, my boy ? Why bless my life ! so youhave

,I declare ; then by the piper that played before

Moses,I

’

l l have a few fri ends to meet you , and we’

ll makea day of it. You

’

ve never seen a nautch, I b elieve ; we’

llh ave O humbailie and Goolab ie* and all th at set—a

devi lled turkey, and a glorious blow-out.M arpeet was as good as hi s word he posted off ch i ts

( invi tations ) to a dozen choice spirits ; ordered a fatsheep to be killed , which had been six months on grambough t th e best ham to be had in cantonments, and aturkey for its vis-a-vis ; ordered half a chest of claret,

Jaaminand R ose m ter ; female names .


and beer to be tundalcurred ( cooled ) sent his bearerto bespeak a tip-top set of nautch-girls

,and then, slap

ping me on the back,exclaimed ,

N ow, Frank, my boy, w e are al l right and tigh t,and your grilfinage shall close with a flourish of trumpets .O u th e following day the guests assembled at dinner,

and the old mosque resounded with the echoes of ourrevelry and mirth . M arpeet certai nly boxed the kansamah 5“for omitting the pigeon-pie

,and ordered the cook

half-a-dozen rattans for underb oiling the ham ; but, onthe whol e, he was in splendid key.

Evening at length approached ; more young oflicers

came in; the wall shades were lighted, and chairs arranged in a semicircle teapoys

,port

, mint, claret, wereall mooj ood (present) , when the curtain was rolled up,and a bevy of as pretty gazelle-eyed damsels, arrayed inrobes of sky-blue, crimson and gold, bedecked with ringsand chains, and redolent of oil of Chumbailie, as I eversaw, entered the apartment in s tately guise, follow ed bysundry old duennas

,and four or five raki sh looking

musicians, w i th embroidered skull-caps, long raven ringlets, and slender ungirdled waists, bearing some of thefunniest looking musical instruments ever seen since thedays of Orpheus.After some excruciating tuning , thrumming, and twi st

ing of keys,a couple of young sirens

,fair M ogulanees,

whose languishing eyes shone brightly through theirantimonial borders

,broke forth into a song, advancing

wi th hands extended and slow movements of the feet ,their anklet-bells j ingling harmoniously the g oong roo

1m awaz , by the way, a music on which the Indianpoet loves to expatiate . As the song and the movementquickened, the heads of the fiddlers worked ecstatically ,whilst they sawed aw ay at their ou tlandish fiddles withsurprising energy and v igour.M arpeet was inrap tures ; he considered nautches su~

Butler.

372 M EMOIRS or A GRIFFIN .

perior to all the Operas in th e universe , and thought hecould hardly ever have enough of them .

The Cakar cd nautch,

"

or dance of the bearer,a

favouri te 1n Indi a, was now c alled for loudly , and theprettiest girl of the set, retiring a li ttl e on one side, andtw i s ting a turban saucily round her head, after the fashionof that order of menial, and otherwi se arranging herattire into a somewhat similar resemblance to the o therparts of their dress

,darted forward arms a-kimbo, 81 la

Vestr z’

s, and danced an animated li lt, something of the

nature of 11 Highland fling .

Rapturous w ere the “ bravos of the o fficers, and thewau ! way s ! of the natives . The girl

’

s excitementincreased w i th the applause ; the fiddlers worked likehero es

,whilst the d oog

-d oog z'

e man , or drummer,pegged aw ay at his long drum , till , flushed and exhansted

,she made her salaam, and retired within th e circle

amidst renew ed plaudits .This was follow ed b y “

M oo tr z'

b -i“ songster

sw eet, and other Persian and Hindostanee airs, no tforgetting S arrai teenp isamuch lee, three ha’

porth of fish,” by way offi nale , ti ll at length the danc

ing grew languid ; the hookas bubbled faintly, and Mar

peet , starting up,dismissed the dancers

,and w e all

adj ourned to do honour to the devilled turkey’

s legsand a saucepan of mulled port, of M arpeet

'

s own brewmg .

Enlivened by the change , the song and the toastwent round

,and M arpeet, who was half-seas-over, sung

Dear Torn, this brownJug, w hich now foams wi th m ild ale ,

in hi s very best style and, by particul ar request I warbled The Woodpecker .

“ Franco , your health and song, my boy, sai d myfriend, rising on his legs and now

,gentlemen

I am about to propo se the toast of the evening , and one

which, I am sure, you'

ll al l drink wi th as much pleasure


(iziccup ) as I have in giving it : gentlemen , off withyour heel-taps are you all charged Wildfire, passthe bottle . Gentlemen

,I am now about to propose the

health of a young friend of mine, whom I consider i nsome respects a chick of my own rearing. We came outtogether, and I take credi t for having made him the goodfellow you all find him (h iccup ) . This is the last dayof his griffinage, and to-morrow he i s one of us old hands .Gentlemen

,I give you , standing , wi th three tlmes three,

long life,health

,and

‘

success to our friend, Frank Gernon ,the griffin. Hip ! hip ! hurrah !

Wood fall and Kind er, Printers, M ilford Lane, S trand , London, W.C.

WM . H . ALLE N Co .,

13 , WATE RLO O PLAC E , LO N DO N .

WarrenHastings. A Biography. By Capt .LionelJAM E S TaorrEn, Auth or of “ A History of I ndia,

”&0.

C rown 8y o, 98.

As abiography th is volume has a high claim to favour from the

general carefulness which it exhibits .

”—A thevw 3um.

Carefullv and clearly w ri tten, and far more trustw orthy and correct

than the memoir to w hich most Englishmenare indebted for a. know led geof WarrenHastings. -A oademy.

ThirteenYears amongst theWild Beasts of Ind ia:th eir Haunts and Hab its , from Personal O b servation;w ith anAccount of th e M od e of Capturing and TamingWild E lephants. By G. B. S AN DE R S O N . Wi th Tw entyO ne Full-Page I llustrations and Th ree M aps . Fcap . 4t0,

258 .

We find i t d iflicult to hasten through this inte rest ing book ; onalmost every page some incident or some happy descript ive passagetempts th e read er to linger The author re lates hi s exploitsw i th abil ity and singular modesty, and there is no porti onof th e volumewhich canhe w ished shorter.

—Pall M all Gaz ette.

This is the best and most practical book on th e w i ld game of

Southernand Eastern India that w e have read, and d isplays an extensi ve

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