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CHAPTER III

DISCUSSION

3.1. Summary of The Movie

Michael Glatze’s a happy, vibrant, well-educated gay rights activist with

a passion for helping other people. His main outlet for his natural-born leadership

skills is as the managing editor of XY Magazine, a gay periodical based in San

Francisco. He’s in a loving relationship with his architect boyfriend Bennett,

whom he follows to Halifax when Bennett lands a new job.

While Michael and Bennett’s relationship is somewhat strained by the

move, they both eventually bring young college student Tyler (Charlie Carver)

into their relationship, and the three set out to make a documentary about queer

youth in America. During their trip, they come across a young student at a

predominantly conservative university he describes it as “Farewell territory” who

identifies as a gay Christian, saying “What God would punish you for finding

love?” This somewhat vexes Michael, who with the rest of his gay community

friends has seen Christians as the enemy due to their hateful rhetoric and the

consequences of said rhetoric, like the murder of Matthew Shepard.

Michael becomes a bit more ponderous after this meeting, taking some

time alone to consider his place in the universe and whether he’ll ever see his

mother his best friend gain following her death years earlier. When a health scare

rocks Michael to his core, he fixates on the question of what happens after death,

and seeks solace in the Bible. Bennett and Tyler are seemingly annoyed with

Michael’s fixation and interest in Christianity, again due to the strong hate speech

that they’ve faced from firsthand experience. Their position is somewhat

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understandable if not exactly compassionate, but their strong refusal to take

Michael’s interest seriously pushes him further away.

As Michael turns to outside sources for some insight on reconciling his

sexuality with the faith of Christianity, the rhetoric of talk radio and religion

themed books influences his stance and leads him to the conclusion that there is

no combining the two homosexuality is a sin, and he must repent in order to

become a Christian.

There’s nothing wrong with Michael’s interest in faith in and of itself, he

wants to go to heaven and see his parents again. While Michael has always prided

himself on his desire to help others, he becomes fixated only on himself and how

he can rectify this issue. Eventually he decides to renounce his sexuality

altogether and go off to Bible school in order to become a pastor. But while his

personal blog evokes confidence and determination in his new stance, his actions

are less convincing and speak to an air of uncertainty that swells in his mind.

Then Michael met Rebecca as a fellow Bible school classmate Michael

tries to strike a heterosexual relationship, and she smartly handles the character as

a real human being. Kelly’s reluctance to paint Christians as caricatures is one of

the film’s strengths. He’s not interested in demonizing those of the faith, only in

considering how Michael’s denial fuels his further desire to become more Christ

like.

Essentially what drives Michael is fear. Fear of never seeing his parents

again, fear of leading the wrong life, and fear of being alone. He’s constantly

blogging about his strong faith and complete rejection of the homosexual lifestyle,

while privately trying to rectify his feelings for another man with his desire to go

to heaven. He’s clearly in denial and constantly feels the need to prove his new

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lifestyle to others in often hurtful ways, and his attempt to find other outlets for

his true creative and leadership passions prove unconvincing. and while this

portrait of Michael is interesting and indeed showcases some strong

performances. There are only so many times we can see the cycle of Michael

staying steadfast, then becoming strong in faith again.

3.2 Analysis of the Story

In this part, the writer will discuss about feeling and the impact of

Homosexual and then the causes of Homosexuality that can be found in the

characters in the movie.

3.2.1. Homosexuality Produce to different Feelings

The writer uses the theory in Chapter II to identify the feeling felt of the

main characters, There are two kinds of homosexuality seen from how they

perceive their homosexuality. The first group consists of those who feel okay

with their sexual identity (ego-syntonic) and the second group is consists of

those who feel unhappy and try to abuse their sexual identity (ego-dystonic).

movie in I am Michael , those two kinds of feelings, both positive feelings and

negative feelings are felt by the main characters Michael. The description and

explanation of the feelings felt by the main characters in movie and can be seen

below. Homosexuality Below are the scenes that feeling felt about their

homosexuality.

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Ego – Syntonic Homosexuality

1. Attracted to the same gender

Data 1

Figure III.2.1.1. Feeling Comfortable with their Homosexuality

(00:07:50)

Supporting Dialogue :

Bennet : “Your hometown is boring”

Michael : “It’s not”

Bennet : “Olympia?”

Michael : “Yeah”

Bennet : “It’s all trees and fog and coffee”

Michael : “And the birthplace the Riot G movement and where Curt Cobain wrote

most of nevermind”

Bennet : “Oh well in that case but it’s unsustainable here, unless you’re in the

Dot-com movement, and I don’t want live in a studio on Mission

Street when we’re 50”

Michael : “Well we won’t be, we will be in a big mansion on a hill”

“More important to me is growing old with the love of my life

Bennet”

(in Michael’s bedroom, 00:07:35 – 00:08:23)

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In this scene, Michael is very happy living with Bennet, but Bennet

asked Michael to move from San Fransisco to Halifax Canada and wanted

their relationship to be better.

This scene showed the feeling felt of homosexuality which tells the

character feelings that are in harmony with or acceptable to the needs and

goals of the ego, or consistent with one's ideal self-image. However, no matter

how hard their lives as homosexuals are, Michael and Bennet somehow still feel

comfortable with their homosexuality.

The writer thinks that these are the scene described how the main

character is attracted to the same gender. Michael loves his boyfriend Bennet

and will do anything to keep their relationship going well without any other

thing that will interfere with their personality as homosexual.

2. Having Excessive Feelings toward their Homosexual Couple

Data 2

Figure III.2.1.2 Michael and Bennet Excessive Feelings toward their

Homosexual Couple. (00:17:45)

Supporting Dialogue :

Bennet : “Tyler was really cute, huh?”

Michael : “Interesting”

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Bennet : “Is interesting isn’t it?”

Michael : “Very interesting”

Bennet : “You know what? Because I love you so much. And I really feel

like we’re at a place in our relationship, when there’s more

than enough love to go around. And I know that, I’m not afraid

of that, and I don’t think that you are either”

Michael : “Maybe I am afraid”

Bennet : “Well you should not be afraid, because I’m here to protect you”

(in Michael’s bedroom, 00:17:14 – 00:17:51)

After party Michael accidentally met “Tyler” then he introduced Tyler

to Bennet, it turned out that Bennet interested to Tyler and asked Michael to

add Tyler and be able to establish a relationship to join them, Michael agreed

then Bennet gave a kiss to Michael because he accepts Tyler and promises

that their relationship will remain stable.

This scene showed the excessive feelings Ego syntonic of

homosexuality according to Appiah “The openly gay are the homosexuals

who enjoy their lives and make their lives” in which relationships with

members of their own sex will be central. The important thing in their life is

the relationship that they have in their community at this scene Bennet who

first makes a move to kiss Michael showing that he wants to take things

farther and give excessive feeling also more attention toward their couple.

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Ego – Dystonic Homosexuality

3. Feeling Confused about Homosexuality

Data 3

Figure III.2.1.3 Michael feeling confused about his homosexuality

(00:39:35)

Supporting Dialogue :

Bennet : “Uh, you’re really combing through that thing, aren’t you?”

Michael : “Look, my whole life, I thought the bible was full of hate and

it’s not, there’s a lot love in here”

Tyler : “So you interest in the bible is more than just research?”

Michael : “Well, there’s a lot of Christian roots in my family, my mom, my

aunt and I just curious”

Bennet : “Your aunt disowned you when you came out, that’s not family,

I’m all of curiosity but”

Michael : “I just feel like something saved me, shook me and woke me

up”

(at Michael's living room, 00:39:50 – 00:40:27)

Michael reads the bible that made Bennet and Tyler divert his

attention to Michael, Bennet doesn’t like Michael's behavior which slowly

began to change because the bible but Michael also insisted that the contents

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of the gospel he was deepening were indeed a lot of good things and lots of

truth that Michael just knew that religion was not as bad as he had thought

before.

This scene showed the Ego dystonic of Homosexuality According to

Corsini, ego-dystonic homosexuality is homosexuality which is not

acceptable to the ego. Ego-dystonic homosexuality is the opposite of ego-

syntonic and refers to thoughts and behaviors (e.g., dreams, impulses,

compulsions, desires, etc.) that are in conflict, or dissonant, with the needs

and goals of the ego, or, further, in conflict with a person's ideal self-image.

Michael was completely confused about what he had just learned about the

gospel and made him doubt his own sexual orientation.

The writer knows that homosexuality people did not sit very well by

having just one feeling, they are sometimes back to their own nature although

it's still rare and by making things or something new even though they always

returns to the same gender.

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4. Feeling Terrified about Homosexuality

Data 4

Figure III.2.1.4 Michael feeling fear of his Homosexuality

(00:52:08)

Supporting Dialogue :

Michael : “Look, I just I need to get away from this life”

Bennet : “Our life? And what exactly is this about our life that you need to

get away from being gay?”

Michael : “I don’t know!”

Bennet : “Okay, uh are you attracted to women? Because if that’s the case

then fine go explore”

Michael : “I just want to be with my parents in heaven is that so hard to

understand?”

Bennet : “Can you even hear yourself right now? What happened to the

misinterpretation of the bible? It’s a f*cking book Mike!”

Michael : “I read the bible the same way, I read anything else with an open

mind and open heart “

Bennet : “Is that what you call this? Cause the way you’re talking doesn’t

exactly sound very f*cking open minded”

Michael : This relationship has just developed into something unhealthy”

(in Michael’s bedroom, 00:50:15 – 00:51:18)

After Michael learned the gospel he began to feel that he lived is

probably a mistake. a lot of fear he felt about his current life and finally decided

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to leave home left Bennet and Tyler, and trying to find his identity, Bennet

doesn’t like Michael act which began to change drastically, Bennet blamed the

gospel because Michael had read it.

These scenes showed the Ego dystonic Homosexuality according to

Corsini that are in conflict, or dissonant, with the needs and goals of the ego,

or, further, in conflict with a person's ideal self-image.

The writes think that ego-dystonic homosexuals who are unhappy

with their sexual orientation and even try to abuse it which are known under

the term ego-dystonic homosexuality usually have negative impacts toward

themselves.

5. Feeling Ashamed of his Homosexuality

Data 5

Figure III.2.1.5 Michael advised Nico that homosexuals is the wrong way

(01:00:44)

Supporting Dialogue :

Nico : “It’s the same kind of strength that you need to see clear your

mind”

Michael : “You know we just, we need to find out that strength to

fight that we both know in our hearts is wrong, we just have

to fight it”

Nico : “Stop, Michael stop”

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(at Nico’s backyard, 01:00:29 – 01:00:50)

After leaving Bennet and Tyler, Michael began to look for his

identity and then met his old friend Nico, he was the person who could

make Michael more comfortable, Nico also often invited Michael to

meditate in order to feel calm, because of that Michael almost interested

in Nico because it turns out that Nico also likes Michael but Michael

realizes that eventually he will just repeat the same mistakes and he is

sure this time God was is testing it, then Michael began to tell Nico this is

all wrong and they can return to the right path but Nico didn’t like the

way Michael advise him and choose to get away from Michael.

These scenes showed the Ego-dystonic Homosexuality according

to Corsini he negative impacts toward the ego-dystonic homosexuals are

mostly the guilty feeling, fearing homophobia, and try to changes his

desire. Michael feels ashamed of his sexuality try to change his desire

sure that he is currently being tested.

The writer thinks that ego-dystonic homosexuals conditions cause

mental pain they are much easier to treat, after all most people want to

feel healthy and good about themselves and free from the pain this can be

a good thing because the good thing is the trust between human is a very

important issue.

6. Open to try Heterosexual relationship

Data 6

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Figure III.2.1.6 Michael started interested to Rebekah

(01:15:35)

Supporting Dialogue :

Michael : “Guess we like all the same things. I love in here, I mean I

never though I’d end up in Wyoming, but I feel like I’ve finally

found my niche”

Rebekah : “Where’d you think you’d end up?”

Michael : “That’s the good question, I don’t know, all I know is that I’ve

always wanted to help people, because some people

struggle so much when the solution is actually simple, it’s

right there in Matthew 10’ the road may not be easy but if

we give up our lives for Christ then we will find our true

selves”

(at church canteen, 01:15:30 – 01:16:28)

After a long journey in searching for his identity finally Michael

settled in one of the churches, he always routinely and focus to group

study on spirituality and at the same time he met Rebekah a graceful

figure who managed to melt his heart, that awkward because this is the

first time he fall in love with a woman who was truly sincere from his

heart it makes here it appears that Rebekah also likes Michael it makes

him happy with himself that now Michael can change his sexual

orientation.

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These scenes showed Heterosexuality according to Hoffman is the

manner in which individuals externally express their experiences of

heterosexuality and the character starts to show interest in the opposite

sex that he can be normal.

The writer thinks this is impact after the ego syntonic and ego

dystonic that Michael once felt he finally began to be attracted to the

opposite sex even though still stiff and embarrassed Michael finally

managed to change his sexual orientation.

3.2.2. The Cause of the Main Characters Homosexuality

As the writer talked before in chapter II, there are several causes

of Homosexuality behavior is partly formed by genetics and random

environmental factors, that genetics may include biological processes

such as different hormone exposure in the womb shared environmental

factors also contribute a modest proportion of variation in homophobic

attitudes. This finding suggests that shared environmental influences,

such as norms and values taught by parents, are aspects of forming

positive or negative attitudes toward homosexuals, and possibly also

toward other out groups. The main source of variance is the unique

environment.

Below are another several scenes that depict the causes of

Homosexuality.

1. Environmental influence around them

From the movie, I am Michael the writer find that Michael’s

homosexuality came to the surface because of the influence from the people

who is very close to him.

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Data 1

Figure III.2.2.1 Michael at Gay Rave Parties

(00:04:38)

There is the scene when Michael Glatze was a highly visible

member of the LGBTQ community through his work with XY, as well as

the magazine he founded that focused on outreach to young people the

environment in which Michael lived before had indeed been surrounded

by his gay friends

The writer knows Michael’s cause of his homosexuality factor

behavior is because of the influence of his surroundings very influential

when it was seen that almost all of his friends were gay, and Michael had

indeed been comfortable in his life at that time.

In Michael case, he came from American development where the

gay or LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) began to accepted

with an open minded even though there were not many people who could

accept it but Michael lived in a quite free environment as a homosexual.

2. They also enjoys the attention from the same gender,

Data 2

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Figure III.2.2.2 Bennet calms Michael, when he’s sad

(00:28:25)

Supporting Dialogue :

Bennet : “Baby, I was worry about you today, what’s going on?”

Michael : “It’s stupid”

Bennet : “Baby nothing stupid, tell me what?”

Michael : “Do you think when we die, we just like disappear like we

never existed?”

Bennet : “No, I don’t think that, because I know that we will always

be together”

(in Michael’s room, 00:27:42 – 00:28:30)

The first scene, Michael visited the church and saw the activities

there, many thoughts and doubts in his mind and also the biggest

question was “where is life after death?” he became confused, also

anxious and don’t know what to do, Michael told Bennet and he

explained that they would be fine there’s nothing to worry about.

As the writer has stated, one of the causes of someone’s

Homosexuality behavior is partly formed by genetics, this exposure will

affect not only the internal and external genitalia, but also the brain

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which may in turn influence gender identity and sexual orientation they

enjoy the attention from the same gender, for whatever psychological

reason, and by claiming of same-sex sexuality like they receive what they

desire. This means that they do not care whether the person is having the

same gender as they are, one of them is attention that they are seeking

for.