The Role of BDsM/Fetish in Sexual Pleasure

Dominic Davies Director - Pink Therapy

Wismeijer, A. van Assen, M. (2013) Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners J Sex Med 2013;10:1943–1952

Terminology• BDsM - Bondage & Discipline, Dominance &

submission, Sadism & Masochism

Roles:

• Top, Master/Mistress, Dominant, Dom(me), Dad, Mum, Boss, Lord, Lady, Sir, Madam, Handler

• bottom, slave, sub, boi, girl, pet, son, daughter. pup

WHY THIS TOPIC?Demonised sexuality

LGBT ‘privilege’

Transgressive50 Shades populismFUN!

BIG BU$INE$$!

140 Stores around the UK & 4000 parties per week

2.5M members

THE ROLE OF BDSM/FETISH

PURPOSE

FUNCTION

"THE TOTAL CONSTELLATION OF THOUGHTS, IMAGES, BEHAVIORS, SOUNDS, SMELLS, SIGHTS, FANTASIES, AND OBJECTS THAT AROUSE US SEXUALLY." THIS CONSTELLATION ENCOMPASSES VAST CATEGORIES OF STIMULI THAT COME FROM OUR EARLY EXPERIENCES WITH FAMILY, FRIENDS, RELIGIOUS AFFILIATIONS, MEDIA, AND TEACHERS. MUCH OF WHAT IS AROUSING TO US REGISTERS SUBCONSCIOUSLY-A PERSON'S PHEROMONES, THE TENOR OF HER VOICE, THE FEEL OF HIS SKIN, THE WAY SHE CARRIES HERSELF. ONE IS OFTEN AWARE OF BEING ATTRACTED TO A 'TYPE': BLOND AND BUSTY, SLIM AND INTELLECTUAL, OR INTENSE AND OUTSPOKEN.

Arousal Template

THE ROLE OF BDSM/FETISH

PURPOSE

FUNCTION

enhancing pleasure

increasing repertoire of activities

Managing performance anxietyabrogating responsibility

and decisions

giving up power or

taking power

FUN!

SEXUAL PLEASUREDesire

Subjective

Whose?

Arousal

FantasyTransgressive

Location Challenge

Political & Social Histories of BDsM

Acetylcholine comfort & soothing

Phenyl ethylamine

euphoria of love

DHEA > desire, energy

< stress

Oestrogen & Testosterone motivate sexual

interest

Prostaglandins contract smooth

muscle sharpen senses

Aggression

Physical Sensation

Headspace

Pendal’s 3D model of BDSM

y-axis

x-axis

z-axis

Vanilla?

Negotiation

‘Safewords’

Aftercare

SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual)

RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Connection to Kink Community

Re-enactment

Abuse

Dangerous

SafeguardsPrevious Trauma

PROBLEMATIC SEX

Gloria Brame, William Brame and Jon Jacobs

Different Loving: an exploration of the world of sexual dominance and submission

Darren Langdridge & Meg Barker

Safe, Sane and Consensual: Contemporary Perspectives on SadoMasochism

David M Ortmann and Richard A Sprott

Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities

Scientific Evidence given to the WHO for reforming ICD 11 F65 http://www.revisef65.org/supportWHO2.html

Dossie Easton and Catherine A Lizst

When Someone You Love is Kinky

The New Bottoming Book

Dossie Easton & Janet W Hardy

The New Topping Book

Dossie Easton & Janet W Hardy

www.fetlife.com

Barbara CarellasEcstasy is necessary

Not about the Whip: love spirituality in the BDSM SceneDossie Easton & Janet W

Hardy

Radical Ecstasy

Sensuous Sadie

www.fetlife.com

Not Kinky but Urban Tantra

http://sacredpleasures.co.uk

http://urbantantra.org

dominic.davies@pinktherapy.com