Our Father’s House

(Levites Ministries International)

welcomes you to

BONE OF MY BONES, a 4day singles and married conference

You are welcome.

Most welcome

In the Beginning Day one ‚And God said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea…, So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them‛ (Gen 1: 26 – 27).

Gen. 2:7,18 – 24). The Lord formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man became a living soul. As at this moment, the women was not yet created as a personality but as an element or factor inside of Adam.

Then came Gen. 2:8 ‚…it is not good that the man should alone; I will Make him an help meet‛ NOT a help mate as most western world preachers are interpreting that verse

How God Made

This Help Meet For Adam (Gen.2:21)

He caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep He brought her to Adam He took one of Adam’s ribs to make a woman

He never gave her to Adam, but brought her to Adam to choose between her and other animals that may look like human beings

Adam had to actually sleep deeply so that he would not after boast of being the creator of the woman. He only woke up to see the human being that has been made.

Women were made, not created. In

Gen. 2:22

Create versus Made, the Nexus.

Deduction from the Nexus God allowed these words and gaps to show superiority and seniority. They can never be equal because one came first before the other. Adam had been given responsibilities for either days or months before Eve was made. Even in that, God never told Eve what her duties were; it was Adam that made her know

what God wants from their family.

…Thus no matter what Human Right Declaration in Beijing China for the benefit of the woman, Eve was a biblical subject to Adam. Christian philosophers must respect this fact, if they must convince us that they believe the Bible is God’s Word. – Prof Nwaneri B.E

“…and brought her to Adam” should not be interpreted to mean that God choose the wife for Adam but that He brought her to him to let Adam know that; These animals are not his kind He can see his own kind and He can make a choice between the alternatives in Eden.

God did not choose a wife for

Adam

“This is now‛ (but before now, I looked for my kind and found none) ‚the bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; for she shall be called woman, because she was taken from the

man.‛(Gen.2:23). Impliedly, a part of his(Adam’s) body

What now, is MARRIAGE??? ‚Therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh‛ s v.24 Therefore: ‘’Marriage is an inseparable union of two opposite sexes at the instance of the man as one flesh until they are separated by death’’. – Prof Nwaneri B.E

The word ‚Cleave‛ makes them to become one flesh.

Christian marriages are not and cannot be called partnership.

Christian marriage is more than joining; when two things join together, you can still identify their boundaries .

Gen.1:28 – 30

Marriage is therefore not man’s creation, it is God’s making for the comfort of the man, and it is a gift of God’s goodness. ‚And God blessed them. God said unto them; be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the foul of the air and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth…‛

Vital points from Gen 1:28-30 Fruitful

Multiply and

Replenish the earth.

Power of the BONE The Bible said that the bone God took from Adam was the bone that holds other bones in

him. Certainly, they all will be dangling helplessly and uncontrollably. No wonder men tend to live and get their satisfaction in women. A man that has nothing to do with a woman is suspicious because he cannot explain his role

as a pro-creator.

Facts about marriage It is not for the ignorant, It is an institution itself, New issues keep rising up every day. It is more than a social relationship, It is a divine instrument for procreation to continue Since God is still resting on the sixth day. It is for those who would earnestly understand it is an instrument in the hand of the Creator to fulfill whatever remains to be done in this earthly body.

Thinking To Marry (factors to consider)

His legal age His income level or ability to create or improve on his income His ability to take additional responsibility (combining his, and his wife) His knowledge of God’s Word The position of parents His preparedness to take up a new/fresh family.

Before thinking to marry You are still eating your mother’s food, get yourself out of your parent’s home before

thinking marriage.

If you do not have your own income whether regular or not; you still depend on your father/mother’s income, you have nothing to do with marriage yet.

If it is your brothers/sisters that buy for you, or is it the lady you are planning to marry is the one you are hoping to sponsor the family, young man you better go and organize your life.

No one maintains a home or family with borrowed or solicited money. You don’t depend on solicitation or borrowing to maintain your family or train your children. You must work, or develop a source of income for your family. So think on these before going into marriage. –Prof. Nwaneri B.E ‚But if any provides not for his own and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel/unbeliever.‛ (1Timothy 5:8)

Marriage Is Not Wedding Wedding is a ceremony

It is of suits and gowns,

It is of fashions and shows

It is of dancing, drinking and eating

It is a day of glory, ecstatic passion and a display beauty and

fulfillment etc.

But marriage is not any of the above

The man/women you think you are wedding

May turn into another after the ceremony.

The man or woman that attended

Marriage school/counseling or institute

May not be the same that is going home with you

Marriage Is A Responsibility

With love at the highest order With submission to just one man at the lowest level It is a management of even the most stubborn and A forbearance for one another

Marriage Is A Dedication to One

Man/Woman

It is a life issue, there is no ‚U‛ turn to it It is a concealed package, you open it only at home and after the wedding It is whatever you see in it is yours, You cannot reject it after you have opened it.

…So you need to be a man of decision that should not be carried about by passions, slights of men, ideas of friends and colleagues o You need to be careful, o You need God’s guidance, o You need prayers, o You need to think well before going into it

“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favour of the Lord‛ (Provb. 18:22)

‚……But thou shall go unto my country, and to my kindred, And take a wife unto my son….‛ (Gen. 24:1-4)

‚…….This is the thing which the Lord doth command Concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, Let them marry to whom they think best; only to the Family of the tribe of their father shall they marry.‛ (Numbers 36: 1-7)

Some Bitter Truth The person you are marrying is not for public show because – His/Her

shape may change after the wedding; character and attitude may change after she has said ‚I Do‛ connections may disappear parents may no longer agree to be there for your new home health may change strength and ability change fail and some other times God may seem to be far away, that your faith may seem to be failing you

Still on Bitter Truth The man/women you think you are wedding may turn into another after the ceremony. The man or woman that attended marriage school/counseling or institute may not be the same that is going home with you. Marriage is a responsibility, it is all about reality, no pretending; the real person comes out boldly with all her weakness, foolishness, mistakes, pride, arrogance or deceit. It is for better and for worse. What do you say, since things are like this?

God never fails on his word

Be sure, God will not fail on His own side –

“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing,

And obtaineth favour of the Lord” (Provb. 18:22)

But it is your responsibility to find and present to God

God is not ready to do the choosing and the granting of favour to you at the same time.

It is what you present to God that He will grant you the favour that will suit your situation and ability to manage the favour.

Who Exactly Should I Marry

A woman (of your choice) for a man One you think best and that would be of help to you A man (of your choice) for a woman Not a woman for a woman Not a man for a man Not a dog Not a Cat Not a bird Not a chimpanzi Not a monkey Not an animal at all But a man to a woman or A woman to a man

Marriage is not a search for a lady

that will be presented at : Day 2 shows, entertainment corners, or one your mates would praise for her beauty; not a ‚yes‛ lady; not a short and tall lady; not a fat or thin size; ‚Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also Love the church, and gave Himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word; that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing……‛ (Eph. 5: 25 -28)

Christ’s love for the church

Christ love the church and; Gave Himself for it So that he might sanctify it Cleanse it with the washing of water by the word (Word of God) That he might present it to himself a glorious church

The wife you want to marry should be loved. You should release yourself pride, personality and arrogance You are to make her by declaring her holy with the Word of God .

What your goal should be

Among others include: Form one’s own family or home Share your life with someone for life Fulfill God’s purpose of procreation (through sexual means) Increasing and Multiplying

‚

….It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband‛ (1Cor. 7:1-2)

more Factors Should Be

Considered In Choosing A Wife Personal Faith His Tribe Family Background Religion/Faith Career Children Born In Both Families Marital Status of both families (Polygamous, Divorced or Remarried) Social Status

‘’Whatever interests a young man to desire a young lady should be

rationally specific. This fact must go with others to confirm what and why you became interested in the lady’’- Prof Nwaneri B.E

You should not do it alone, you need ideas to compare with your

intelligence. To Adam, Eve was like him and of his kind, she was his bone and she was to be a help. ‚……..Yet there shall be a space between you and it, about two thousand cubits

by measure; come not near unto it, that you may know the way by which you must go; for ye have not passed this way before…….‛ (Joshua 3: 1- 4)

‘’A wife should not be entirely a burden; but a suitable help to the man; not a burden or problematic woman. She must not be a competitor as in a mate; but a helper as from a weaker-vessel.‛

“You have not been this way before” (A Case study)

Hypothesis Bro. Ike went and married a lady without his parent’s consent. The lady became pregnant and in the process of the first child birth,

the lady died. Bro. Ike ran to his church, the first question his pastor asked was – What of your Parents? Ike said, Pastor they are unbelievers. Pastor told him to go to his father first that the Church need to know what his parent would say and do before the church would come up. Ike has not been to the mortuary before, when this death took him there, he fainted over three times on seeing dead bodies. Thank God that at the mercy of his father, they took him back to their home and took over the issue of his dead wife.

Role of The Family

A Man’s choice of who to Marry

In Adam-

God brought the woman to guide him in his choice otherwise he would have taken any of those beautiful pets in the Garden of Eden for a wife. Absolutely it was Adam that saw the woman and made his choice –

‚……And Adam said, this is now the bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man‛ (Gen.2:21-22) The woman had attracted Adam that he began to speak in such manner like a prophet or like one who is under an influence (This is now, but before it was not).

In Isaac Abraham moved for Isaac to marry. He determined what kind of background the lady should come from, (Gen.

24:1- 67). ‚And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, And the God of

the earth, that thou shall not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell……‛ (Gen. 24:2-4) ‚Parents who are spiritually guided and who are conversant with the Word of

God on the issue of marriage, can in fact help their children in choosing who they may want to marry‛. Prof. Nwaneri B.E

Marriage today In Nigerian we have only two types of marriage: a. TRADITIONAL b. LEGAL

Traditional customary marriage may not require any count or church,

provided the parents and members of the village can testify to the union. Abraham’s Involvement ‚And I will make thee swear by the Lord the God of heaven, and the God of

the earth, that thou shall not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell… Gen. 24: 2 – 4

Legal marriage

In this case ;

The two couples agree with or without the parents, to be married together.

They go to marriage registry to register their intention.

The intention is advertised on a notice board within the premises of the Registry for 28 days for objection.

If nobody objects within this period, the registry goes ahead to unite them in marriage as one body.

A certificate of marriage is issued to the couple on the behalf of the Federal Government..

If the couples at any future date want to separate, they go to the same registry to dissolve the union after meeting necessary requirements from a court of competent jurisdiction.

The Mistakes Esau Made In Marriage (Genesis 26:34-35; 27:46; 28:1-9). Day 3

"And when Esau was forty years old he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beerl the Hittite, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite: and they were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah .... And Rebekah said to Isaac,

I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Beth: If Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Beth, such as these, of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do me?

‚…And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. Arise, go to Paddanaram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother's father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother's brother…‛

‚.... So Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him away to Paddanarem, to take him a wife from thence; and that as he blessed him he gave him a charge, saying; ‚ Thou shalt not take to wife of the daughters of Canaan‛. And that Jacob obeyed his father and his mother, and was gone to Paddanarem:

and Esau saw that the daughters of Canaan pleased not Isaac his father; and Esau went unto Ishmael, and took, besides the wives that he had, Mabalath the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham's son, the sister of Nebaloth, to be his wife‚ (Genesis 26:34-35; 27:46; 28:1-9).

Six Basic Desires of Parents

For Their Children

That they be healthy, both mentally and physically;

That they grow up to obey Jesus Christ, to be true to God and

the church all their lives;

That they marry loyal and true children of God, Christians;

That they engage in an honorable occupation for their livelihood;

That they be a blessing to themselves, their families, the church

and the world all their lives;

That they be prepared to die, to face Jesus in the Judgment Day

successfully, and to inherit God's wonderful promise of

eternal life in heaven.

Marrying someone who is not compatible with the – ideals, faith, works, life and hopes of a child of God

is one of the common mistakes made, especially of the young, which leads to the loss of spiritual interests and values, and finally to the loss of the soul forever and ever (Matt. 25:46).

Esau

He had godly parents (although they evidently made some mistakes in showing partiality to their children, being willing to deceive one another as Rebecca did Isaac), was circumcised the eighth day, was reared under religious influences yet despised his birthright and blessing, was a profane (disrespectful and blasphemous) man, and married very wrongly and unwisely.

Esau’s Profile Common sense isn't all that common. In fact, the common thread in many decisions is that they don't make sense. Esau's life was filled with choices he must have regretted bitterly. He appears to have been a person who found it hard to consider consequences, reacting to the need of the moment without realizing what he was giving up to meet that need. Trading his birthright for a bowl of stew was the clearest example of this weakness. He also chose wives in direct opposition to his parents' wishes. He lived the hard way. It is doubtful to think he learned, because if he had, he would have made a redress to his numerous careless mistakes.

An Analysis of Esau’s Marriage He married Hittite women. Evil companions still corrupt good morals (1 Cor. 15:33).

He Did Not Consider His Parents " a grief of mind" ("bitterness of spirit")

to Isaac and Rebekah:

"a standing grief, not only because of their

heathen descent, but also because of their

uncongenial tempers. They brought only trouble

into the family" (Jacobus).

Isaac and Rebekah hoped to avoid in Jacob the marriage

mistakes Esau had made.

Jacod was sent away from home to be among their kinsmen who were

believers in God.

Esau Married A Third Wife. She was of Ishmael's family, Isaac's half-brother. Why Esau did this is not clear. Whether it

was to please his parents after he had so displeased and hurt them the other times, or whether he belatedly sought to ingratiate himself with his parents, or whether he was sincerely trying to do better and right, cannot be determined for sure. But the harm was done.

One school of thought had it that Esau went back to marry an Ishmaelite to reconcile with them who hated or contented with his father as an attempt to grieve his parents the more. Since he has lost everything by his disobedience, he moved to worsen the situation by becoming a source of trouble to his parents who, Ishmaelites do not want to hear of or see…

Mistakes in Marriage: General. 1. Lack of Respect Don't badmouth your spouse to your friends or associates. Spouses need to be thanked. They need to know they are appreciated. 2. Not Listening to Your Spouse This includes allowing your mind to wander, paying more attention to the computer or television set, ignoring body language, and interrupting. Expecting your spouse to be a mind reader is another big communication mistake. 3. Lack of Sexual Intimacy This is a death knell for a marriage. Seek medical counsel and therapeutic counseling if necessary. Don't leave your spouse wondering why you aren't interested in sex. 4. Always Having to Be Right This includes lecturing your mate, or having to have the last word. Very few people can love a know-it-all forever. Admit when you make a mistake or that you don't have all the answers. Don't answer every simple question with a long- winded dissertation on the topic. 5. Not Walking the Talk Actions do speak louder than words. When you say you'll do something, do it. When you say you won't do something, follow through.

Mistakes in Marriage: General,

contd

6. Hurtful Teasing If your spouse says the teasing is hurtful, considers it a put down, or thinks that it is inappropriate, then stop it. Claiming that your spouse doesn't have a sense of humor or is too sensitive is being inconsiderate and unkind. 7. Dishonesty Having lies and secrets in your relationship can create distance and lack of trust between the two of you. 8. Being Annoying This includes continuing to have gross personal hygiene habits, or always being late, or nitpicking everything your spouse does, etc. It is when you know you are annoying and you continue to annoy. 9. Being Selfish or Greedy This is when you spend money on yourself, but make a big deal if your spouse spends a dime. This is not wanting to open your home to friends and family because you prefer to be alone and don't want the hassle of entertaining. This is hogging the remote, only going to cheap restaurants when you could afford better, or not watching movies your spouse wants to see. 10. Having Temper Tantrums Every couple needs to be able to handle conflict in a constructive way. Having an angry outburst so that you can win an argument will make you the loser in the end.

Your Lesson From Esau’s

Mistake

What are you willing to trade for the things you want? Do you find yourself, at times, willing to negotiate anything for what you feel you need now? Do your family, spouse, integrity, body, or soul get included in these deals? Do you sometimes feel that the important parts of life escaped while you were grabbing for something else? If so, your initial response, like Esau's, may be deep anger. In itself that isn't wrong, as long as you direct the energy of that anger toward a solution and not toward yourself or others as the cause of the problem. Your greatest need is to find a focal point other than "what I need now." The only worthy focal point is God. A relationship with him will not only give an ultimate purpose to your life; it will also be a daily guideline for living. Meet him in the pages of the Bible.

The End of Esau Amos 1:11

Thus saith the Lord; For three transgressions of Edom, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof; because he did pursue his brother with the sword, and did cast off all pity, and his anger did tear perpetually, and he kept his wrath for ever.

The Horrible Mistakes Day 4

Abraham Made In Marriage (Gen. 16)

Gen. 16

Living Under Assumption In Our

Own Way

1 Samuel 13 vs 1-end

‚That’s not good news for a man who has only been king for one year (1 Sam. 13:1). But that is what happens when we try to rush God‛. commentary

Bible Reading: Gen 16:1 Identify of Hagar Hagar, since she was an Egyptian, might have come from the Pharaoh in Egypt when he gave servants and possessions to Abram. Looking back in Genesis 14, it might have been better for Abram to turn down these gifts just as he turned down the offer from the King of Sodom. For here, the wealth he received from Pharaoh becomes a stumbling block to him and his generations: Read- Gen 12 vs 1-20

Sarah’s Plan Sarah came up with an alternate plan. She had a beautiful servant from Egypt named Hagar. She was young, she was pretty, she was loyal, and best of all, she was a servant.

In those days, the men of the household would often sleep with not only their wives, but also with the female servants of their household. If children were born to these servants, most often these children became servants as well. But once in a while, especially if a boy was born to the servant, the head of the household could adopt the servant boy and make him his own son. This is apparently what Sarah had in mind when she said: ‚Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her.‛(16:2)

In the Garden of Eden.

In the Garden of Eden. Eve was deceived by the serpent into thinking that God is holding back from them. That God has something more for them, but God isn’t giving it to them right now, and so they should just take it. So she goes to her husband and presents her plan to him and they eat the fruit.

Wife: You must allow your husband to be the spiritual head of the household. You must allow him to make the spiritual decisions. And Husband: you must step up to the plate to make them. Your wife wants you to lead, and you were made to lead, but

If you forsake your responsibility in leading her, disaster most often results. (Genesis 3:1-6), (Gen. 16:2)

Children of God: You must disciple your wives. You must train your children. You are the spiritual leader in the home, and Your wife and children desperately need you to lead them in this way.

‚Then Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar her maid, the Egyptian, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan. So he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes‛.(Gen. 16:3-4)

But, as with all sin, there were unexpected, negative consequences. Hagar began to despise Sarai. In those days, it was always seen as a curse to be barren, and so now that

Hagar had conceived by Abram, There was proof that Sarai was barren. Hagar probably thought that since

she had conceived, she was better than Sarai.

There is now marital strife caving

in. Another negative consequence of Abram’s and Sarai’s sin is seen in verse 5. Then Sarai said to Abram, ‚My wrong be upon you! I gave my maid into your embrace; and when she saw that she had conceived, I became despised in her eyes. The Lord judge between you and me.‛ (Gen 16:5) In effect, Sarai is saying to Abram, ‚Why did you listen to me? You should have known better to go and sleep with that woman. Now look what has happened.‛

Abraham cannot blame Sarai even as Adam tried to blame Eve.

And you know, even though Eve did sin first, and even though Sarai did tempt Abram to this sin, I am of the persuasion that God holds the husband at fault for the sins of the wife. Maybe not completely, because she has her own will and makes her own decisions, but I am convinced that to one degree or another, God holds the husband accountable for the actions, behavior and decisions of the wife.

Special Note – Don’t Forget

‚If a couple has been married for more than five years, any persistent disharmony in their marriage is usually attributable to the husband’s lack of understanding and applying genuine love.‛

‚After five years of marriage if a husband has failed to understand or seek help for the major causes of disharmony, either he doesn’t understand what genuine love is, or has chosen to ignore God’s command to shepherd his family wisely.‛

It’s five years because prior to that, she is responding to how her parents, friends and siblings loved her. But after five years, she is responding to how her husband treats her.

So Abram said to Sarah, ‚Indeed your maid…… do to her as you please.‛ Hagar had a son because of Abram’s mistake, Abram should have been the one to deal with Hagar.

He should have been the one to provide for her, and protect her. He should have taken responsibility for his actions, He admitted his fault to his wife, and to Hagar, and He should sent Hagar off with enough money and possessions to live and provide for herself.

Ephesians 5 and 6: instructions for

three primary relationships Our marriage, Our families, and Our jobs. Husbands are to love their wives, Wives to respect and submit to their husbands. Children are to obey their parents, and Parents must not provoke their children, but train them. Servants must obey their masters and Masters must treat servants right.

Sunday Service Don’t be late

And most of us think that these

relationships work both ways.

A husband says, ‚I’ll love my wife when she starts to submit to me and give me the respect I deserve.‛

Meanwhile, the wife thinks, ‚I won’t respect him until he starts to love me.‛ And nothing ever gets better.

A teenager thinks, ‚My dad is just out to destroy my fun. I’m going to rebel and show him until he starts giving me some freedom.‛

The dad thinks, ‚Why can’t my son see the mistakes he’s making? I’m going to punish him and be overly harsh and critical until he gets back on track.‛

The employee thinks, ‚I am not getting paid enough. I have horrible working conditions. My benefits are worthless. My boss hates me. I’m going to cheat the company. I’m going be lazy at work until I get some respect.‛

The manager thinks, ‚These guys don’t deserve a raise. Look how poorly they work! I’m going to threaten them with more work and less pay until they start working harder.‛

Men, Love your wives whether she submits to you and respects you or not. Wives, Submit to and respect your husband whether he deserves it or not. Children, Obey your parents, even if they are unreasonable. Parents, Don’t provoke your children even when they just keep pushing and pushing. Discipline and train them, yes, but don’t lash back and provoke them.

Employees, Obey your boss and work hard for him no matter what. Boss, manager, employer, treat your employees with the respect and salary and benefits you think you deserve. All of these relationships are just like what we saw previously in Genesis 15. God did not meet Abram half way. God made the whole commitment by Himself. He said to Abram, ‚I’m going to make a covenant with you, and I don’t care what you do or don’t do in the future, I promise to uphold this covenant no matter what.‛

God bless you