Jeff Riddlebaugh

Lin Ryan- Thomson

Enlish112C

Research paper

11/28/2005

“The Hidden Abuse No One Talks or Cares About”

“Domestic Violence Women Are Not the Only Victim”

There is a hidden conspiracy to hide an abuse that has been

occurring since recorded time. This conspiracy is just becoming

known due to new laws and more victims are reporting the crime.

This abuse is something women do not what anyone to know about,

and men would never dare talk about it or admit that it has ever

happened to them. This abuse is very real and occurs more often

and more severe than anyone is willing to admit. Men will not

admit to it happening to them, women will not admit that it

happens at all, the police at best look the other way when it

happens and all too often make rude and demeaning remarks to the

victim. The court system wants nothing to do with it. Society

as a whole ignores the abuse, therefore, as fellow human beings

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something must be done to stop this injustice and let the truth

be known!

The hidden abuse talked about is husband and boyfriend

abuse, not wife abuse and wife beating instead about wives and

girlfriends abusing there husbands and boyfriends. The first

reaction from most people to hearing about the battering of men

is unbelief or laughter, with jokes made at the expense of the

victims, but no one would dare make those jokes about a battered

woman. Does this society believe its ok for a woman to hurt and

abuse a man just because this person is male not female?

Battered husbands are a topic for jokes (like cartoon images of a

woman chasing her husband with a rolling pin). Wives were the

perpetrators in 73% of the cartoons showing domestic violence in

newspaper comics (Saenger 1963 p3).

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Daryl Cagle’s professional cartoonists index http://www.cagle.com/

Battered husbands have historically been both ignored or

subjected to ridicule and abuse. In 18th-century France, a

battered husband was made to wear an outlandish outfit and ride

backwards around the village on a donkey (Steinmetz & Lucca 1988

p21). Even those of us who like to consider ourselves liberated

and open-minded often have a difficult time even imagining that

husband battering could take place. One of our greatest

Presidents Abraham Lincoln was a victim of female violence by his

wife Marry, if having your wife smack you in the nose with a

chunk of firewood, throw coffee in your face, beat on you with

broomsticks and fling potatoes and books at you doesn't qualify a

guy for 'battered husband' status, what does? Many people who

knew him often said he only became active in politics to get away

from his abusive wife.

One reason researchers and others have not chosen to

investigate husband battering is because it was thought to be a

rare occurrence. Police reports seemed to bear this out

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(Steinmetz 1977 p25), with in some cases a ratio of 12 to 14.5

female victims to every one male victim.

Nevertheless, another reason is that because women were seen

as weaker and more helpless than men due to sex roles, and men on

the other hand, were seen as more sturdy and self-reliant, the

study of abused husbands seemed relatively unimportant. In 1974,

a study was done which compared male and female domestic

violence. In that study, it was found that 47% of husbands had

used physical violence on their wives, and 33% of wives had used

violence on their husbands (Gelles 1974 p12). Also in 1974, a

study was released showing that the number of murders of women by

men (17.5% of total homicides) was about the same as the number

of murders of men by women (16.4% of total homicides). These

statistics came from police records. The murder statistics was

no big news, by the way. In 1958, an investigation of spousal

homicide between 1948 and 1952 found that 7.8% of murder victims

were husbands murdered by wives, and 8% were wives murdered by

husbands (Wolfgang 1958 p111). More recently, in a study of

spousal homicide in the period from 1976 to 1985, it was found

that there was an overall ratio of 1.3:1.0 of murdered wives to

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murdered husbands, and that "Black husbands were at greater risk

of spouse homicide than Black wives or White spouses of either

sex" (Mercy & Saltzman 1989 p30). The subject of husband

battering had finally been addressed, but not to the great

satisfaction of anyone. Although it had finally been shown that

both wives and husbands were perpetrating violence, there was no

information about how often or the severity of the abusive, and

who initiated the abuse and who was acting in self-defense.

For instance, in 1976, the Curtis report (which

found women less likely to assault, but as likely to murder, as

men). Wilt & Bannon wrote that "nonfatal violence committed by

women against men is less likely to be reported to the police

than is violence by men against women; thus, women assaulters who

come to the attention of the police are likely to be those who

have produced a fatal result.” In 1977, Suzanne Steinmetz

released results from several studies showing that the percentage

of wives who have used physical violence is higher than the

percentage of husbands, and that the wives' average violence

score tended to be higher, although men were somewhat more likely

to cause greater injury. She also found that women were as

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likely as men to initiate physical violence, and that they had

similar motives for their violent acts (Steinmetz 1977-78 p42).

Steinmetz concluded that "the most unreported crime is not wife

beating -- it's husband beating" (Langley & Levy 1977 p85).

In addition, a 1979 telephone survey was conducted in which

subjects were asked about their experiences of domestic violence

(Nisonoff & Bitman 1979 p4). 15.5% of the men and 11.3% of the

women reported having hit their spouse; 18.6% of the men and

12.7% of the women reported having been hit by their spouse. In

1980, a team of researchers, including Steinmetz, attempted to

address some concerns about the earlier surveys (Straus, Gelles &

Steinmetz, 1980 p47). They created a national study of family

violence and found that the total violence scores seemed to be

about even between husbands and wives, and those wives tended to

be more abusive in almost all areas except pushing and shoving.

In A follow up survey in 1985, comparing their data to a 1975

survey (Strauss & Gelles 1986 p 8) found in that domestic

violence against women dropped from 12.1% of women to 11.3% while

domestic violence against men rose from 11.6% to 12.1%. The rate

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of severely violent incidents dropped for both groups: From 3.8%

to 3.0% of women victimized and from 4.6% to 4.4% for men.

In relation to that report, a 1986 report appeared in Social

Work, the Journal of the National Association of Social Workers

(Nov. /Dec. 1986 p 126) on violence in adolescent dating

relationships, in which it was found that girls were violent more

frequently than boys were. Another report on premarital violence

(O'Leary, et al) found that 34% of the males and 40% of the

females reported engaging in some form of physical aggression

against their mates in a year. 17% of women and 7% of men

reported engaging in severe physical aggression. 35% of the men

and 30% of the women reported having been abused. The Journal of

the American Medical Association has published a report, which

was recently picked up by the Associated Press, and it deserves

attention that is more detailed primarily because it challenges

common assumptions about a serious health and social issue. The

study examined 516 patients seeking services in the emergency

room of Charity Hospital in New Orleans, Louisiana. Out of these

numbers, a slightly greater number of men were victims of

physical domestic violence than were women (20% vs. 19%). The

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doctors also said, "We determined that women experienced

significantly more past and present nonphysical violence, but not

physical violence than men."

Supplementary, it is significant to note that the rate for

intimate partner domestic violence may be greater than what this

survey shows. This is because the relationship between victim

and assailant was unknown fully a third of the time for men, and

a fifth of the time for women. In addition, male victims of

partner violence may be even more likely than women victims to

attribute such injuries to strangers or others. Males also seek

medical attention for all types of ailments at a lower rate than

women do. These emergency room admissions studies do not of

course, represent the totality of domestic violence, nor do law

enforcement reports or even the Justice Departments own National

Crime Victimization Survey, which surveys crime victims who may

not have reported anything to police. Many domestic violence

victims do not go to the emergency room, report to police, or

answer honestly when asked to list intimate violence by a current

partner or former partner. This is especially true when their

current partner may be present when filling out the Justice

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Department survey. This is why domestic violence advocates

frequently point to work funded by the National Institute of

Mental Health and conducted by the Family Research Laboratory at

the University of New Hampshire. These surveys show that nearly

two million women are victims of severe domestic violence each

year. This is twice the number reported by the Justice

Department National Crime Victimization Survey and much more than

the 204,400 women injured in the Justice Department emergency

room study. The Family Research Laboratory is the source of the

often-quoted statistic that a woman is battered by her intimate

partner every 15 seconds. The trouble with quoting this source

however is that most advocates have taken to ignoring the

complete and most recent result of 1.8 million women victims of

severe violence and two million male victims. Alternatively, to

put in another way, a man is severely assaulted by his mate every

15 seconds; a woman is similarly assaulted every 18 seconds.

These reports have been upheld by thirty other independent

studies. Such reports even when limited to just what women

respondents say show that women hit first 53 percent of the time.

The women also report that a quarter of the time, only they were

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violent, a quarter of the time it was only the man who was, and

the remainder of the incidents involved mutual violence. The

U.S. Justice Department shows that 62 percent of the times, wives

were the victims, but 38 percent of the victims were men. The

Justice Department also reported, that for black family spouse

murders, "Wives were just about as likely to kill their husbands

as husbands were to kill their wives.” Criminologists like Dr.

Coramae Richey Mann, now retired from Florida State University,

also point out that when women kill their mates. The statistics

may not be as representative as when it is the other way around.

We do not know the level of hidden homicide by women who use

poison on their mates, since this method is often undetected,

hence, there would be no arrest.

In addition, the justice system has a history of chivalry

and paternalism toward women. Certainly, there are many examples

where a man is charged with homicide, while a woman committing a

similar act is charged with a lesser offense. A case in point

would be the following in which "When Shane Seyer was twelve

years old, he was sexually molested, repeatedly, over a period of

several months, by his babysitter. Colleen Hermesmann, the

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babysitter, was initially charged with statutory rape ("indecent

liberties with a child" in Kansas) but plea-bargained to a lesser

charge -- "contributing to a child's misconduct.” When Colleen

Hermesmann and her new baby went on welfare, the state did what

it usually does in cases of single mothers seeking state

assistance -- it tried to find the father, in this case young

Shane Seyer, and to get him to pay child support. In March, the

Kansas state supreme court ruled that when Shane Seyer was

molested by his babysitter at age 12, he consented to 18 years of

child-support payments. "We conclude," the court, wrote, "that

the issue of consent to sexual activity under the criminal

statutes is irrelevant in a civil action to determine paternity

and for support of the minor child of such activity.” The court

ruled that " an action by the State against a minor father for

reimbursement of funds paid for support of his child, the fault

or wrongdoing of the mother at the time of conception, even if

criminal, has no bearing on the father's duty to support such

child.” State ex re. Hermesmann v. Seyer & parents, Kans. Supr.

Ct. No. 67,978 (1993).

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The Justice Department reports also do not count as a

spousal murder, cases in which one partner induced a third party

to kill their mate for them a tactic that is used more frequently

by women than men.

The idea of women being violent is a hard thing for many

people to believe. It goes against the stereotype of the passive

and helpless female. This, in spite of the fact that women are

known to be more likely than men to commit child abuse and child

murder. A Daly & Wilson 1988 report showed that the mother

committed 54% of parent-child murders where the child is under

17.

Furthermore, a study in a doctoral dissertation by

psychologist Vallerie Coleman of 90 lesbian couples showed that

46% had experienced repeated violent acts (Garcia, 1991 p62). So

domestic violence is an issue framed in the media and in the

political arena as one of male perpetrators and female victims.

Violence in gay and lesbian relationships is rarely discussed,

and violence against men in heterosexual relationships even less.

The terms "wife beating" and "battered women" have become

political expressions, rather than descriptions of reality. In a

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book on domestic violence, Roger Langley and Richard C. Levy

conclude a chapter on battered husbands by saying, "Husband abuse

should not be viewed as merely the opposite side of the coin to

wife abuse. Both are part of the same problem, which should be

described as one person abusing another person. “The problem

must be faced and dealt with not in terms of sex but in terms of

humanity" (Langley & Levy 1977, p. 208). Ironically, the book in

which this quote appears is entitled "Wife Beating: The Silent

Crisis.” Legislation about domestic violence is always

orientated toward the female victim. For instance, in 1991,

Senator Joseph Biden again introduced the "Violence against Women

Act" It has a section called "Safe homes for Women" which

allocates funds to "women's" shelters (Biden 1991, also see Boxer

1990 p 328).

Further note, actions like that of Ohio Governor Richard F.

Celeste who granted clemency to 25 women who were in prison for

murdering their husbands. The reason he gave for this was the

"Battered Woman Syndrome" which, obviously, no man can claim as

his defense (Wilkerson 1990 p 125). There is very little concern

shown either for the idea that perhaps some of the men who murder

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their spouses might be suffering from “Battered Men Syndrome.”

There is only one case known of at this time in which a man was

able to use a similar defense. Warren Farrell writes about it in

his book “Why Men Are the Way They Are” (Farrell 1986, p. 231):

“Betty King had beaten, slashed, stabbed, thrown dry acid

on, and

shot her husband. Eddie King had not sought prosecution

when she

slashed his face with a carpet knife, nor when she left him

in a parking

lot with a blade in his back. Neither of these incidents

even made the

police records as statistics. She was only arrested twice,

when she

stabbed him so severely in the back and so publicly (in a

bar) that the

incidents had to be reported. All these stabbings,

shootings, and

acid-throwings happened during a four-year marriage. During

a

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subsequent shouting match on the porch of a friend's house,

Betty King

once again reached into her purse. This time Eddie King

shot her.

When an investigation led to a verdict of self-defense,

there was an

outcry of opposition from feminists and the media.’ Farrell

compares this case, in which "a two-second delay could have meant

his death," to that of the celebrated case, which was made into

the television movie The Burning Bed in which the wife murdered her

husband while he slept.

It is clear that this information shows that husband

battering is a serious problem, Even if the data in the last

several years were completely wrong and only one in 14 victims of

spousal abuse are men, these are fellow humans that are being

abused even if they are just men. Men who are hurting and need

services that are currently not available. The stigma attached

to male victims of battering is so severe that 835,000 men who

where battered each year are remain silent because they are

assumed to be the guilty one, not that they are the victim.

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Special attention should be paid to reaching out to these

victims. Simply opening up "Women's Shelters" to men is not

enough. Given the historical background of the fight to win

domestic violence a place, as a significant social problem there

was a need to concentrate primarily on services and recognition

solely for women victims and none for male victims this must

change. To move forward today towards more effective help for

anyone caught in the domestic violence trap this society must

recognize that domestic violence is a human problem, not a gender

problem.

WORKS CITED

The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men offers a nationwide (US)

hotline for all victim's of domestic violence. They are

particularly sensitive to the plight of those who traditionally

have not been believed when they call, such as battered men, same

sex victims, and so on.

Barry Daniels “Abraham Lincoln a VICTIM of female violence”

Mon, 12 Sep 1994 23:12:05 GMT daniels@sybase.com

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Biden, Joseph "Violence against Women Act of 1990" (S. 15)

1991.

Boxer, Barbara "A Bill to combat violence and crimes against women on the streets

and in homes" (H.R. 5468) 101st Congress, 2nd Session, August

3, 1990

Curtis, L.A. Criminal violence: National patterns and behavior

Lexington Books, Lexington MA, 1974

Daly, M. & Wilson, M. "Parent-Offspring Homicides in Canada, 1974-1983"

Science v. 242, pp. 519-524, 1988

Daryl Cagle’s professional cartoonists index

http://www.cagle.com/

Farrell, Warren Why Men Are the Way They Are Graw-Hill, New York,

1986, p. 231

Garcia, Jane "The Cost of Escaping Domestic Violence" Los Angeles

Times May 6, 1991

Gelles, R.J. The violent home: A study of physical aggression between

husbands and wives Sage, Beverly Hills CA, 1974

Kingsley G. Morse Jr. kingsley@hh.sbay.org State ex re.

Hermesmann v. Seyer & parents, Kans. Supr. Ct. No. 67,978

(1993).

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Langley, Roger & Levy, Richard C. Wife Beating: The Silent Crisis Pocket

Books, New York 1977

Marriage and Divorce Today "First Large-Scale Study Reveals Elder Abuse is

Primarily by Wives against Husbands" December 15, 1986

Abused men homepage JAMA article is 1997; 278; 620 from an

original article in Annals of Emergency Medicine, Official Journal of

the American College of Emergency Physicians Vol. 30 number 2.

http://home.comcast.net/~philip.cook/essays/Emergency_Rooms.

html

Mercy, J.A. & Saltzman, L.E. "Fatal violence among spouses in the

United States, 1976-85" American Journal of Public Health 79(5):

595-9 May 1989

Nagi, Saad Child Maltreatment in the United States Columbia

University Press, New York, p. 47, 1977

Nisonoff, L. & Bitman, I "Spouse Abuse: Incidence and

Relationship to Selected Demographic Variables" Victimology

4, 1979, pp. 131-140

O'Leary, K. Daniel; Arias, Ilena; Rosenbaum, Alan & Barling,

Julian "Premarital Physical Aggression" State University of

New York at Stony Brook & Syracuse University

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Rooke, Margaret Violence in the Home Radio Times 16-22 March 1991 p.

8.

Saenger, G. "Male and female relation in the American comic strips" in The

funnies: An American idiom M. White & R.H. Abel editors, The

Free Press, Glencoe IL, 1963, p. 219-223

Sexuality Today Newsletter "Violence in Adolescent Dating Relationships

Common, New Survey Reveals" December 22, 1986 (reporting on a

report in Social Work contact Karen Brockopp) p 2-3.

Statistical Abstract of the United States 1987 table 277

Steinmetz, Suzanne K. The cycle of violence: Assertive, aggressive, and abusive

family. Interaction Praeger Press, New York, 1977

Strauss, M.A., Gelles, R.J., and Steinmetz, S.K. Behind closed

doors: Violence in American families. Doubleday, New York,

1980

Strauss, M.A. & Gelles, R.J. "Societal change and change in

family violence from 1975 to 1985 as revealed by two

national surveys" Journal of Marriage and the Family 48, po. 465-

479, 1986

Rates of Severe Spousal Violence by Gender

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Rates per year per 1000 couples of various forms of violence.

CTS

Survey #1 CTS Survey #2 Kentucky

1975

(N=2143) 1985 (N=3520) 1979

Wife

husband wife husband wife husband

Victim vicitm

victim victim victim victim

1) Threw something 28 52

28 43 29 48

2) Pushed, grabbed, or shoved 107 83 93

89 85 86

3) Slapped 51 46

29 41 48 45

4) Kicked, bit, or hit with fist 24 31

15 24 14 16

5) Hit or tried to hit with something 22 30

17 30 22 24

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6) Beat up 11

6 8 4 18 21

7) Threat with gun or knife 4 6

4 6 14 18

8) Used gun or knife 3 2

2 2 4 6

Overall violence (1-8) 121 116

113 121 115 121

Severe violence (5-8) 38 46

30 44 33 46

The data below from Behind Closed Doors have husband reports and

wife reports of violence. It has now been clearly shown that

there is no evidence of differential reporting; at least not with

the methods/methodology used by Straus and Gelles, (it remains

possible there is some sort of similar effect that could

influence a less well-designed methodology).

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Source of data % violent husbands % violent

wives

Spouses (1) 9.1

17.9

Students (1) 16.7

9.5

Students (2) 11.3

11.4

-----------------------------------------------------------------

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Husbands (3) 12.8

11.3

Wives (3) 11.2

11.7

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