Noble Dames and Notable Men Of - Forgotten Books

NOBLE DAMES AND NOTABLE

MEN OF THE GEORG IAN ERA

NOBLE DAMES AND

NOTA BL E MEN O F

THE GEORGIAN ERA

JOHN FYV IE

nous WOMEN OF M ? AND BEAUTY.

ooooooo gEEEEE EE EE E EEEEEEEE EEEE n o.

NEW YORK

JOHN LANE COMPANY

MCM! I

PREFACE

THE reader wil l be in l itt le danger of supposing m e toimply that the Georgian era did not produce nobler dames

and more notable m en than any I have included in the

present volume . Nevertheless, it m ay perhaps be advisablefor m e to point out that the subjects of th e six charactersketches here brought together have been se lected because ,in addit ion to the interest of their severa l l ife histories , theyall exh ibit some pecu l iari ty, or qua intness, or eccentrici ty , ofmind and behaviour, such as wou ld have caused our forebearsto dub them emphat ica l ly characters .”

So far as was possible , I have let Horace Wa lpole tel l thestory of Lady Mary Coke, supplementing him , where mecessary

,from other sources , and especia l ly from Lady Lou i sa

Stuart’

s brief but bri l l iant sketch of the family of John , Dukeof Argyl l and Greenwich , which was prefixed to the port ionof Lady Mary ’ s “ Journa l ” private ly printed for Lord Homei n 1889 . I t was not permissible for m e to quote (as I shouldhave been very glad to do pretty extensive ly) from LadyLou isa ’s de l ightful l itt le memoir ; but I am especia lly fortunate i n be ing able to enrich and enl iven my narrat ive by theinclusion of e ighteen scarce ly known letters of HoraceWa lpole. When Cunningham issued his great edit ion of

Wa lpole ’s “ Letters,”and for a good many years after

wards, it was thought that only one letter of his to LadyMary Coke had survived ; but some e ighteen or twentyyears ago a packet was found amongst the papers of the lateMr. Drummond—Moray which conta ined no less than twentysix hitherto unknown letters from Wa lpole to the lady, of

various dates ranging from 1759 to 1772 . These letters wereincluded in the third volume of Lady Mary ’s “ Journa l ,

”

which was private ly printed in 1892 . I have to express mymost cordial thanks to Colonel Home Drummond-Moray for

PREFACE

permitt ing m e to use these letters , and also to Lord Home fora l lowing m e to copy them from his privately printed book .

Whether or not i t be true that people ’s characters m ay be

a lways as wel l known by the letters addressed to them as bythose of the i r own composit ion , i t is certa in ly the fact thatthese letters to Lady Mary Coke conta in not a few indicat ionsof the character of the recipient , as we l l as of that of thewriter ; and they are l ikewise amongst the pleasantest andwittiest epistles that even that prin ce of letter-writers ever

penned .

The sketch of Lady Hol land was written before the

appearance of the select ion from her “ Journa l ” which waspublished under the editorship of Lord I lchester i n 1909 .

But I have not found it necessary to make any a lterat ion ,because , as Lord I lchester says , the later career of LadyHolland does not come with in the scope of hi s volumes,and it i s that later ca reer a lone with which I have attemptedto deal . I f i t shou ld be obj ected that Lady Holland , whodied as recently as 1845 , does not properly come with in theperiod indicated in my title, I wou ld reply that she was bornin the roth of George the Third ; that she was, both l itera l lyand metaphorica lly , a chi ld of the e ighteenth century ; and ,moreover, that the period which we refer to somewhatvague ly as

“the Georgian era ,

”or

“the eighteenth cen

tury ,” did not , as S ir Wa lter Besant first pointed ou t , come

to an end on December 3 I st , 1800, or even on the dayof th e death of George the Fourth , but lasted on , in a ll itsessent ia l characterist ics, at least unti l about the t ime of the

accession of Queen V ictoria .

I .

I I .

I I I .

I V .

V I .

CONTENTS

PREFACE

A GRANDE DAME —LADY MARY'

coxE ,1726

—18 1 1 .

A JOURNAL ISTI C PARSON— S IR HENRY BATE -DUDLEY,

BART” 1745— 1824

A HUNTED HEIRESS— THE COUN TESS OF STRATHMORE ,

1749— 1800

A PROFESS IONAL B EGGAR— BAMPFYLDE -MOORE CAREW,

I 693 175 8

A UN IQUE HO'STESS— EL IZAB ETH , LADY HOLLAND , 1770

— 1845

A METAPHYS I CAL HUMOR IST— ABRAHAM TUCKER , 1705

— 1774

PAGE

A GRANDE DAME— LADY MARY COKE


HOLKHAM HALL, in Norfolk , is one of the state l iest of

the state ly homes of England . I t was bu i lt in the earl ier

half of th e e ighteenth century by Thomas Coke , Earl of

Le icester, after a des ign by the classic Pa l ladio . In order

that it might stand as a monument of h is name for ever, it

was constructed of specia lly made bricks and mortar , care

fu lly fashioned after the pattern of the marvel lously durable

bricks and mortar of the ancient Romans . I ts casements and

window - sashes were of burn ished gold . I ts great marble anda labaster ha l l was adorned with price less antique statuary, forwhich his agents ransacked I ta ly and Greece . I ts spaciousrooms were fi l led with cost ly furn iture and curios, and the irwa l ls hung with beaut ifu l tapestries and with pictures byTit ian , and V an Dyk, and Pau l Veronese, and Holbe in , andother old masters. F or the last five -and - twenty years of h isl ife Lord Le icester devoted himse lf to the persona l superintendence of every deta i l of th e building and adornment ofthis splendid pa lace , which h e had planned to be the enviedhabitat ion , not of himse lf only , but of h is ch ildren

’ s chi ldrenfor generat ion after generat ion . But the fates conspired

aga inst the rea l isat ion of h is dream . Of a ll h is children onlyone survived infancy, and that one , Edward , V iscount Coke ,l ived such a l ife of drunken riot and debauchery that h is

excesses threatened to bri ng him to an early grave . After hecame of age the one h0pe of his anxious parents was tha t asu itable marriage might regenerate the ir grace less son, or, at

the least , provide an he ir to the family t it le and estates ; and

they consequently negot iated , in the fashion of those t imes ,

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NOBLE DAMES AND NOTABLE MEN

for an a l l iance with some family possessed e ithe r of blueblood or of money . Notwithstanding the enormous wealthto which he was heir, i t was apparent ly th e money that waslooked ou t for first , for, as Horace Wa lpole remarks, i t wasonly after offering him to a ll the great lumps of gold in al l

the a l leys of the City ” that they sett led upon one of the

daughters of th e Dowager Duchess of Argyll , a young

damse l who undoubtedly had th e bluest of blood in h erveins , but whose port ion was only a pa l try Beforesaying anything further about th is lady herse l f, i t wi l l

be worth while to make a few observat ions concern ing herparentage .

In 17 12 John , Duke of Argyl l,fresh from warl ike exploits

on th e Continent , which had made him no mean riva l of thegreat Duke of Marlborough , made his appearance at th e

Court of Queen Anne , was i nvested with the Order of the

Garter, and became, of course , the popular hero of th e day.

H e was then thirty-four years of age , and not only a sold ierof great reputat ion , but as handsome, graceful , and engaging

a persona l ity as the Court had ever seen . I t m ay not , therefore , seem a very extraordinary th ing that , when the ladies

’

toasts were cal led for one day at a dinner given by the Lord

Chamberla in to th e ma ids of honour, one of those ma ids ,Jane Warburton , shou ld ingenuously propose the name of th e

popu lar hero whose figure and achievements were probablydominant in the minds of all of them . Bu t for two reasonsth is apparent ly s imple and natura l manifestat ion of th e

genera l feel ing aroused a storm of sat irica l and hi lariouscomment . In the first place , it was most unusua l for a young

lady, when ca l led upon for a toast , to propose any name buttha t of some discreet b ishop , or statesman , or court ier who

was old enough to be her father ; and , in the second place ,th e particu lar young lady who had committed th is breach ofma idenly et iquette was so devoid of persona l charms and so

rust ic in her speech and manners that nobody had ever been

able to make ou t how so un likely a creature had obta ined

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in the world . F or about four years he was a visitor to herroom every m orning ; and it is a remarkable circumstancethat , compromis ing as the situat ion was , Jane Warburton

’

s

character was considered by thewhole Court to rema in a ltogether unimpeachable .

When Queen Anne died in 1714, Jane wou ld probablyhave been dismissed to h er home with a sma l l pension butfor the fact that theWhig leaders

,who then came into office ,

wished to make sure of the continued adhesion of the powerfu l Duke of Argyl l , and considered that one of th e best waysof doing so was to keep h is lady love at Court . They conse

quently made her one of the ma ids of honour to the new

Princess of Wa les . But about two years after the death ofQueen Anne the Duke ’s wife died ; and the ladies of the

Court immediate ly began to Speculate how long it wou ld be

before he wou ld find it necessary to drop the poor ma id of

honour and a l ly himself with some lady of su itable rankin order to provide an he ir for h is t it les and estates . Once

more they were very greatly surprised , for, after a very shortperiod of perfunctory mourning , Jane Warburton was du ly

made Duchess of Argyll . Lady Lou isa S tuart says that ,a lthough everybody e lse agreed in ca l l ing Jane extreme ly

pla in , the Duke bel ieved h er to be an incomparable beauty ;and i t is certa in ly remarkable that , notwithstanding the very

great disappointment it must have been to him to have noson and he ir

,but only daughters , whom he contemptuously

regarded as use less encumbrances,”he rema ined a fa ithful

and doat ing husband to the end of his l ife .

Of course the Duke , Pope’

s

Argyll , th e Sta te’

s whole thunder , born to wieldAnd shake alike the senate and the field ,

”

who was a dist inguished statesman as we l l as a d istingu ishedgenera l , who was possessed of large informat ion and giftedwith grea t conversat iona l powers, wou ld have been glad tohave about h im in h is own home many of the inte l lectua l and

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A GRANDE DAME — LADY MARY COKE

eminent m enwith whom hewas inevitably associated in publicaffa irs . But poor Duchess Jane had a horror of “ c lever ”

people, and managed to keep all such out of her i ntimatecircle . With al l h is affect ion for her, the Duke would neverhave dreamt of asking her opin ion or advice on any matterwhich he considered to be of rea l importance ; but in all

matters of socia l and family l ife he let her have her ownway a ltogether. Unfortunately he considered the educat ionof a parce l of u se less girls a matter of no importance ; and

consequently the tu it ion of his four daughters was left entire lyto the discret ion of Duchess Jane , who ne ither sent themto school nor provided proper tutors for them , be ing quitesat isfied if they were taught the e lements of reading , wri t ing,and arithmet ic by her steward

,and needlework by h er house

keeper. One stipulat ion , indeed , the Duke did make : h e

obj ected to their be ing taught French in addit ion to the ir

mother- tongue, because , as he contemptuously observed, one

language was qu ite enough for any wom an to ta lk in and, as

Duchess Jane knew no word of any language save her own,

sh e probably considered this as only another instance of her

lord ’ s superior wisdom . They were none of them deficientin good looks ; but they a ll of them inherited from the irmother a harsh and discordant voice , so that they came tobe ca lled

“the scream ing

'

sisterhood”

and“the bawling

Campbe lls, while the ir want of proper tra in ing caused themto become , as Lady Lou isa Stuart declares ,

“th e most noisy,

hoyden ing girls in London .

” But th e Duke not on ly leftundone those things which h e ought to have done ; he a lsodid those things which h e ought not to have done ; for th e

ungovernable violence of the temper of h is youngest daughter,Mary, was largely due to h is inj udicious habit of a lternate lyteasing and i ndu lging h er. After he had purpose ly irrita tedthe l itt le minx into a fury he wou ld cry, Look ! look at

Mary ! and laugh heart i ly to see h er flying about , screamingand scratching l ike a wild cat, and then , when he had hadenough of the scene , wou ld coax her with sugar-plums to

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kiss and be friends aga in . Of course i t was inevitable that

such unwise treatment shou ld produce after-effects of a verypronounced character . But , in addition to a peculiarlyviolent temper, Lady Mary exhibited as she grew up very

exa lted notions of h er own importance , together with a

morbid , dominant idea that nothing which happened toh er was quite the same as what occurred to mere ordinarycommonp lace people . Not mere ly was she so hypersensit ive that if sh e simply pricked h er finger the pa in was a lmosttoo exqu isite for words, but i f sh e caught cold , or had a

sore throat , i t was impossible that th is cou ld be a merecommon a i lment , i t must be a disease of extraordinaryma l ignity or, i f she happened to be caught in a shower,i t was no ordinary shower, but such a ra in as had neverfa l len from heaven since the De luge . She was a l sopossessed by the not ion that she was dest ined to occupysome part icu larly high and conspicuous posit ion in the

world . I t might have been thought that she had nourished

h er mind on th e extravagant romances of Calprenéde and

M adame Scuderi bu t we are told that she had l i tt le l iking

for imaginat ive l i terature of any k ind , though she h ad a turn

for reading and was much given to the perusa l of h istories,and genea logies, and S tate papers . And , says Lady Lou isaS tuart , she had heated her bra ins with history as othershave done with romances, with the result that , wishing tomake herse lf comparable with some of th e heroines of whom

sh e had read , she was reduced to magnifying every commonmatter that concerned hersel f into th e semblance of someth ing uncommon . H er persona l appearance was certain ly

very uncommon , and, i n the opin ion of many people , un

commonly beauti fu l . S he possessed a majest ic figure, a

handsome neck , and we l l -shaped amrs , together with a fine

set of teeth and a very agreeable smile ; but her extreme lyfa ir ha ir, dead whiteness of skin , unshaded eyebrows, and

fierce ly bri l l iant eyes , produced a l together so fe l ine an

expression as to obta in for her the nickname of“the White

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Cat . Such was the young damsel , nineteen years of age ,and with a port ion of who was se lected by LordLe icester to carry on th e success ion in h is family, and to be

the regenerator of h is scapegrace of a son.

The Duke of Argyll had died in 1743 , and the overturesof marriage were made by Lord Coke ’s parents to DuchessJane

,through the instrumental i ty of Lady Gower. The

Duchess hesitated at first , not so much on account of the

character and habits of Lord Coke as on account of thetemper and dissoluteness of h is father . But the young m an

contrived to make a very good impression on her, and she

wrote her married daughter,Lady Da lke ith , saying she

thought'

h is gambling habits were due to h is father’s bad

example and encouragement , a l so that he had a very goodunderstanding, and a great dea l of knowledge , and , I think ,a sweet disposit ion .

” Lady Mary mere ly sa id that sh e had

no obj ect ion ; so the family lawyers on both sides were set towork , and after a good dea l of barga in ing it was sett led thatthere should be £500 a year p in -money and a j ointure of

But before the lawyers had t ime to draw'

up deedsto this effect Lady Mary was of another mind . HoraceWa lpole, writ ing to George Montagu on Ju ly 3 rd , 1746,

apropos of certa in rumours of marriages , remarks

I can tell you another wedding more certa in and fifty times moreextraordinary ; it is Lord Coke with Lady Mary Campbell , th e Dowagerof Argyll ’s youngest daughter . I t is a ll agreed , and was negotia ted bythe Countesses of Gower and Le icester. I don ’ t know why they skippedover Lady Betty , who, if there were any question of beauty, is, I think ,as well as h er s ister . They drew th e girl in to give h er consent whenthey first proposed it to h er ; but now In belle n’

a im e pas trap le S ieur

Lécm dre. She cries h er eyes to scarlet . H e has made h er four vis its ,and is so in love tha t he writes to her every other day .

’Tis a strange

match . She objects his loving none of her sex b ut the four queensin a pack of cards ; but he promises to abandon White ’

s and both clubsfor her sake .

”

Lord Coke was by no means in love , asWa lpole and othergossips were led to suppose. H e did not l ike Lady Mary

9


any more than she l iked h im ; and he was qu i te as proudand as se l f-wi lled as she was . But whi le she treated him

with fiouts and j eers, and , l ike a heroine of one of the old

romances, posed as a miserable matrimon ia l martyr,he kept

his resentment in reserve , bore all her vagaries with a sm i l ingface , and by his respectful attentions and mora l d iscourseconfirmed h is prospect ive mother-in- law in her op in ion of

the wonderfu l “ sweetness ” of h is disposition . At last ,however, i n th e Spring of 1747 , Lady Mary suffered herselfto be led to the a ltar

,exhibiting herse l f as a re luctant bride,

who was yet prepared to submit , as i n duty bound , to the

caresses of an unloved husband . But as soon as th e youngcouple reached hom e after the ceremony Lord Coke threwoff his mask , and , assuring her ladyship that she need be i nno fear of caresses from him , promptly went off to a tavernto carouse with his boon companions , with whom he stayed

the whole n ight , making merry over h is in solent bride ’s

d iscom fitu re. During the courtship his conduct had beenunwontedly respectable , but now he plunged headlong intoh is former extravagant dissipat ions ; and whenever he didhappen to be in h is own home be amused himsel f by ridi

cul ing h is wife ’s mother, attacking the memory of h er father ,and genera l ly abusing th e whole clan of th e Campbel ls . InAugust , about three months after the marriage , i t was arrangedthat Coke and h is wife should spend som e t ime with hisparents in Norfolk ; but when Lord Le icester

’

s coach -and-six

ca l led at their house early one morn ing to take them toHolkham , Lady Mary, who was dressed and ready to start ,was obliged to report tha t her husband had not yet returnedfrom h is tavern . When Lord Le icester found that th is wasa constant pract ice , h e was furious, warmly espoused hisdaughter- in- law ’

s s ide , and decla imed in good set term s

aga inst the brutishness of h is son . Walpole,wri t ing to

Mann on January 1 2 th , 1748 , says

Lord Coke h as demolished himself very fast ; I mean h is character .

You know h e was married but last spring . He is a lways drunk , has lost

10


immense sums at play , and seldom goes home to h is wife till e ight inthe morning . The world i s vehement on h er side ; and not only herfamily, b ut h is own , give him up . At present ma tters are pa tching up byth e mediation of my brother , b ut, I think , can never go on . She marriedhim extremely aga inst h er will , and h e is at least an ou t-pensioner ofBedlam h is mother’s family have many of them been m ad .

”

A fortnight later, Lady Hervey wrote saying that thingswere patched up for th e present , though , in her opin ion ,when they requ ired so much darning things se ldom lastedlong . However, Lord Coke professed to have mended hisways , and sued for a recon ci l iat ion , whereupon h is fatheronce more settled h is very considerable gambling debts, andexpected to find th e young couple disposed to make mutua lconcessions and to l ive with one another at least in outwarddecency, i f not in the most perfect private harmony . But ,to h is extreme dismay , Lady Mary now firmly refused to haveanything to do with such a husband ; and Lord Leicester,Whose one anxietywas that h is on ly son shou ld have an he ir tocarry on the succession , became as furious aga inst her as h ehad been previously enthusiast ic in h er support . The

Duchess of Argyll interfered , and only made matters worse .

Then th e Duke of Argyl l , Lady Mary’s uncle , intervened,and proposed an amicable separat ion ; but this was the verylast thing the Le icester family were disposed to l isten to .

About the end of June , Horace Wa lpole , after remarking toConway that th e first art icle in everybody ’s gazette of gossipmust be my Lord Coke , goes on to say

They say tha t since he has been at Sunning Hill with Lady Maryshe has made him a declaration in form tha t she hates him , tha t sh ealways did , and tha t sh e a lways will . This seems to have been a veryunnecessary notification . However, as you know h is part is to beextremely in love , h e is very miserable upon it ; and rela ting h is woesat White ’s , probably at seven in the morning, h e was advised to pu tan end to a ll this history and shoot himse lf— an advice they wouldnot have given him if h e were not insolvent . H e h as promised toconsider of it .”

I t was j ust about this t ime that Henry Be l lenden , brother

of the ce lebrated beauty Mary Be l lenden , ma id of honour to

I I


the Princess of Wa les, fought a duel with Lord Coke inMarylebone Fields in consequence of a quarre l arising ou t ofremark s or remonstrances concerning Coke ’

s treatment of

h is wife . They both missed fire , and the ir seconds partedthem without e ither be ing hurt . But certa in very uglyreports of th is affa ir became current , as wil l be seen from the

fol lowing letter of Horace Wa lpole to George Montagu ,which is dated Ju ly 14th , 1748

I h eard the history of Lord Coke three thousand ways. I expectnext winter to hear of no Whigs and Jacobites, no courtiers and

patriots , bu t of th e Cokes and the Campbells . I do a ssure youthe violence is incredible with which this affa ir i s talked over. As the

Irish mobs used to say ‘ Butleraboo’

and Crum aboo,’

you will see th ewomen in the assembli es will be bellowing Cam pbellaboo l B ut, withth e leave of your violence , I think the whole a ffa ir of sending HarryBellenden first to bully Coke and then to murder him is a very shockingstory, and so bad that I will not believe Lady Mary ’s family cou ld goso far as to let h er into th e secret of an intention to pistol h er husband .

I heard th e re lation in an admirable way first from my Lady Suffolk ,who is one of the ringleaders of the Cam pbellaboos,

’

and , indeed , a

woeful story sh e made of it for poor Coke , interlarding it every minutewith very villa inous epithets bestowed on h is lordship by Noel Bluff,and when sh e had run over h er string of ra scal , ’ scoundrel ,’ etc. , sh e

would stop and say, Lady Dorothy, do I tell your story right for youknow I am very dea f, and perhaps did not hear it exactly .

’

“ I have compiled all tha t is a llowed on both sides , and i t is verycerta in , for Coke

’

s honour , that h is refus ing to fight was till h e couldsettle the affa ir of h is debts . But two or three wicked circumstanceson t ’other s id e , never to be got over , are B ellenden

’

s stepping close up

to him a fter Coke had fired h is last pistol and saying, You l ittle dog,now I will be the death of you ,

’

and firing , b ut the pistol missed ; andwhat confirms the intention of these words is its having come ou t tha tthe Duke of Argyll knew tha t Coke , on having been told that h is Graceh ad compla ined of h is usage of Lady Mary, replied , Very well ! Doeshe ta lk ? Why , it is impossible I should use my wife worse than h edid h is.

’ When H arry Bellenden left Coke on th e road from Sunning,the day before th e due l , h e crossed over to th e Duke , which h is Graceflatly d enied , but Lord Gower proved it to h is face . I have no doubtbut a m an who would despatch h is wife would have no scruple at the

assa ssination of a person tha t should reproach him with it .”

After th is affa i r Coke carried off h is wife to Holkham ,

think ing that there he and his father wou ld be better able to

12,


care you don ’ t hurt yoursel f. Mrs. Delany , writing to M rs .

Dewes on November 20th , says

All th e talk at present is about Lady Mary Cook (sic)“and h er

strange lord . She has been crue lly treated by him and h is fa ther ,who perhaps will see what I write of him , for h e examines all letterstha t pass. H e will reap but little satisfaction from that employment ,and , l ike l isteners, hear no good of himself. There was a greatmeeting a t Westminster Hall last Friday , where sh e was produced incourt , led in by my Lord Cook (sic). She petitioned for leave to see h errela tions , lawyers, and physicians, which was granted . Wha t next willbe done nobody knows , b ut a modest woman is much to be pit ied whoundergoes what she must do if a tria l comes on .

”

A tria l d id come on in due course,when Lady Mary sued

for a divorce on the usua l grounds . S he appeared in court ,says Lady Lou isa Stuart , dressed in rags and tatters, a l legingthat sh e was a l lowed noth ing better . H er husband declared ,on the other hand , that , as h er pin -money had never beenwithhe ld , she might have bought herself anything she

pleased . S he a l leged that she was kept in a garret twostoreys high , they that she refused to inhabit any otherroom in the house . She lost her cas e, however, by fa i l ing to

prove part icu lar instances of cruelty . S he seemed to think

it qu ite sufficient to declare that in every respect her usage

had been barbarous, and that h er husband had pract iseda thousand ” acts of cruelty every day . Consequently she

had t o rema in in the custody of h er husband , a lthough , byorder of the court , h er relat ions , and lawyers , and a

physic ian were permitted to v isi t her. On December 10th

Mrs . De lany reports

Lady Mary Cook (sic)“ is so ill that it is thought she can ’t l ive she

is confined to a very dismal , ill -furnished room ,up two pa i r of sta irs.

I have not yet m et one m an who does not pity h er and detest hertyrant . I f she dies , she has been a s much murdered by the severeusage she has m et with a s if sh e h ad been poisoned .

On January 3 rst fol lowing , Wa lpole wrote Mann thatLord Coke a lso had been reported to be dying , and thatLady Mary had recovered wonderfu l ly on rece ipt of the

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news . After this Lord Hart ington , a friend of both families ,came in as mediator, and by h is means an arrangem ent waseffected whereby she was to be a l lowed to l ive at Sudbrookwith her mother, unmolested , and to have her pin -money

a year) for ma intenance , on condition that she abandoned a l l lega l proceedings and promised never to set footin London during h er husband ’s l ifet ime . This enforcedret irement did not last very long , for Lord Coke continued hiscareer of riotous dissipat ion at such a pace that about threeyears after the separat ion h e brought h is worthless l ife toan end, at th e age of thirty- four. Old Lord Leicester, notwithstanding the frustrat ion of all h is dearest hopes, wentdoggedly on with the beautificat ion of h is prince ly pa lace ,which

,however

,he was dest ined never to finish , for, six years

a fter the death of h is only son, death came to h im a lso,when a ll his t itles became extinct, and Holkham Ha l l passed

to another branch of the family.

Lady Mary wore mourning, and absta ined from all public

amusements, for the convent iona l period , and then , as a

handsome young widow of twenty- seven who was possessedof a year m ight have been expected to do, sh e

reappeared in society, and proposed to have a good time of it .I t is by no means surprising that Lady Mary

’

s friends shouldhave contemplated a second marriage for her ; but it seemsa lmost beyond th e bounds of credibi l ity that in 1756 she

became betrothed to Lord March , afterwards so we l l knownto fame as th e wicked o ld Q .

” Horace Wa lpole makes noreference to any such affa ir, and numerous entries in LadyMary ’s j ourna l for years afterwards , in which Lord March isspoken of, give no indicat ion that he had ever been on termsof any part icu lar intimacy with her. Lady Lou isa S tuart ,however, is most circumstantia l in her deta i ls, and the storyas she te l ls i t is, briefly, as fol lows. Lord March , who wasLady Mary ’s senior by two years, was the prince of gamblersand racing m en

, and one of the most dissolute fine gentlemenin London ; but he was the acknowledged leader of fashion ,

I S


and, as he ir to the dukedom of Queensberry , he was, of

course , one of the greatest prizes in the matrimonia l market .H e was most emphat ica l ly not a marrying m an

,and every

body knew it . Consequently the Duke and Duchess ofQueensberry, who, after the death of the i r ch ildren , l ived a veryret ired life at Amesbury, in Wiltshire , were greatly surprisedto rece ive a letter from Lady Mary informing them thatLord March had proposed to her, but that sh e wou ld defergiving him a favourable answer unti l she was sure of thei rconcurrence . They were as de l ighted as they were surprised ,for, be ing most anxious that March shou ld abandon h is wildl ife and settle down , they were ready to rece ive with open

arms any lady whose birth and posit ion made her a credit

able match . They promptly came to London , ready to do

everything in the ir power to hurry on the marriage , whenthey found , to the ir great aston ishment , that March and LadyMary were not even upon speaking terms . H e studiouslyignored h er presence when they m et i n soc iety, spoke of her

t o others in highly disparaging fashion , and made a point of

appearing in the Park or at Rane lagh , whether Lady Marywere there or not

,in company with Madame Rena , a dis

reputable 0pera -singer, who ostentat iously took the head of

his table , and was known to everybody as his acknowledged

mistress . When the Duchess of Queensberry ventured to askhim whether this conduct was qu i te fa ir to Lady Mary , h ecool ly inquired, i n apparent aston ishment , what Lady Mary

had to do with the matter ; and when the puzzled Duchesswent on to ask whether he did not mean to marry Lady

Mary after al l , he repl ied ,“ Oh no . H e was qu ite

ready at any t ime , if her ladyship chose.

” Thus baffled , thebewildered Duchess turned to the lady, and represented to

her that , as she wou ld evidently have l ittle more chance of

happiness with March than with her former husband , i t wouldperhaps be wise to give him up ; but Lady Mary oracu larlydeclared that Lord March had not given her any cause of

offence, and that she cou ld not doubt his honour. All the

16


time,however, to h is friends on the racecourse and in the

clubs, March was making no secret about what had happened .

H e had made overtures to h er, h e cynica l ly admitted , as hehad done over and over aga in to other good - looking women ,but no mention of marriage had ever entered his head or

issued from h is l ips. Instead , however, of reject ing the un

lawful proposa ls h e had made to h er, sh e had pretended tounderstand his first “ civi l ” speech as a proposa l of holymatrimony, and had artfully led him on unti l he was em

tangled in what everybody looked upon as a betrotha l . This

curious state of affa irs appears to have lasted for some l ittlet ime, when , finding neglect , and studious incivil ity , and the

ostentat ious flaunting of a disreputable mistress of no ava i l ,March adopted other measures to get his engagement broken

by the other party . What he did we are not told ; but LadyLouisa Stuart says h is conduct was such when he ca l led onemorning that Lady Mary gave him a vigorous box on theear, and commanded him never to enter her doors aga in . Ofcourse this was j ust what he wanted , and he drove stra ightoff to Queensberry House to communicate the news , pretending that h is heart was more wounded than his ear, butat the same t ime taking particu lar care to make i t numis

takably clear that the lady’s breaking of the engagement

must necessari ly be fina l .Two years later there were rumours of another marriage .

H er sister, Lady Betty Mackenzie, ment ions Lord Weymouthand a lso another peer as having been ta lked about as l ikelyhusbands ; and a couple of letters from the Duchess ofHamilton (Elizabeth Gunning) imply that a certa in PrinceSan Severino had proposed and been rejected . I t was about

th e same t ime apparently that Horace Wa lpole became her

declared admirer. Probably he became more or less friendl

with her soon after she emerged from her ret irement , for i na letter of May, 1755 , he ment ions h er as one amongst the

Bedford Court ” whom he enterta ined at a great breakfastat Strawberry H il l ; and in Ju ly, 1757 , he expresses himse lf

N.D. 17 c


as not sat isfied because she has left Sudbrook . Butwrit ing to Mann on September 2nd , 1758 , he goes furtherand describes himself as i n love with “

the youngest , handsom est , and wittiest widow in England and from tha t dateonward not only i s sh e cont inual ly mentioned in letters to

other correspondents , but for a period of fourteen or fifteenyears he addressed some of the wittiest and friendliest of hisincomparable letters to hersel f. Wa lpole undoubtedly l ikedher very much , and made no secret of his admirat ion ; butsome of the expressions in h is letters must not be taken tool itera l ly , for there seems no ground whatever for supposingthat e i ther she or anybody e lse ever supposed that he had

th e remotest intention of asking h er in marriage . I t was thecustom of that day for a m an to address a lady , whetheryoung or old , both by speech and by let ter, in th e languageof a conventiona l gal lantry . Wa lpole h imsel f supplies u s, inone of h is letters t o Conway, with an indicat ion both of theunrea l i ty of the sentiments thus usual ly expressed, and of

the offence which was l ikely to be given by any inadvertent

lapse from th e expected standard . Owing to the great dearthof candidates to be found in London in th e autumn of 1759 ,h e says , Lady Mary Coke permitted Count H aslang , the

Bavarian Am bassador, to die for h er. One day , when ona visi t to the Ho ldernesses at S ion , these two were talk ingtogether in a bow window,

when , on a sudden a larm be inggiven that dinner was on the table, H aslang expressed greatj oy and appet ite . You can ’t imagine,

”addsWa lpole, how

she was offended . The courtly Horace himsel f was nevergui lty of a s im i lar lapse ; and when , a few months after this ,Prince Edward , afterwards Duke of York, asked him j estingly at the opera one night when he was to marry Lady

Mary Coke, i nstead of repudiat ing any such intention , hepromptly repl ied— the mil itary fever be ing then at its fu l lheight— “ As soon as I get a reg iment .

” Nor was he con

tent to let the ma tter rest at this : the incident h ad to be

reported to severa l correspondents and a lso to be amplified

18


and enlarged upon , i n the following fashion , to the lady

herselfARL INGTON STREET,

Decem ber 27ih , 1759 .

MADAM , —Y’ Ladyship will see by what follows that I am impatientto advance the term prescribed for my happiness . Intending, like a

true Knight , to deserve you by my va lour , I am going to take a stepworthy of one who pretends to the honour of your hand . Perhaps ,indeed , it is not perfectly agreeable to the rules of chiva lry to avowany reason but the true one for devoting myself to arms ; but as Icannot expect a regiment but by flattering a Minister in h is own way ,

I am forced to ascribe to the Love of my country what your Ladyshipknows —to proceed from nothing but my Passion . Mr. Pitt is so weakas to prefer the honour of England even to your charms. If byhumouring him I can possess them , a little insincerity m ay be pardonedin a Lover . You must impute to the same cause, Madam , my speakingwith any disesteem of sinecures— a thing which , tho’ I possess, I shou ldcerta inly disdain if i t was not with a view to those beautiful childrenwith which I fla tter myself I sha ll be blessed . In short

,Madam , here

follows my petition . I f you approve , I will send it ; if it is not worthythe cause in which it is written, be so good as to fl ing it into the fire ,8: I will think of some other way of being

Y’r Ladyship ’sHOR . WALPOLE .

The verses enclosed in this letter, which are not includedin Horace Wa lpole ’s collected works , run as follows

To MR . P ITT .

To ra ise a Troop a thousand ask ;

To please ’

em all how hard a task !For whether they are Whig or Tory ,You ve vow

’d (a thing unheard in story)

To grant what ’s asked for England ’s glory .

I too, S '

, on great actions bent ,Propose to ra ise a regiment ;Bu t, as my honest heart , like yours ,Abhors al l kinds of Sinecures,If but a Troop or Company,In the French Service let it be,F or you , Engrosser , have no longerLeft Britons anything to conquer .

”

Amongst Mr . Drummond -Moray ’s papers was found an

answer to th is copy of verses , which the editor of Lady

I 9


Mary ’s j ourna l says is nei ther i n her handwrit ing nor sucha composit ion as could have been expected from h er ; and ,

as i t is not in Wa lpole ’s handwrit ing e ither, Mr. Homesupposes it to have been written by Lady Temple , the stylebeing rather l ike hers , and there be ing few other ladies atthat date who cou ld have wri tten it

LY M . TO MR . W .

A very pretty scheme you’ve hit on ,S ir, to petition Mr . Pitt on ,A Regiment in France to win m e !

Each drop of Campbell blood within m e

Boils at the thought of such a motion ;And then i t’s so profound a notion ,The mighty fortune you are carving

,

Just then when all th e world are starving .

I ha te the French and all the ir race ;I ’d te ll it to the Tyrant ’s face .

No , if I am a soldier’s spouse,

G ive m e your Wolfes , your Clives, your HowesOne sturdy Briton , I

’ ll be swore ,

I s worth three French monsieurs and more ;But since your ardour is so grea tBy we ighty deeds to serve th e Sta te ,And , as you say , each pa th to honourI s occupied by some Forerunner ,Since I , too , with as warm a zea lBurn to promote th e Publick Wea l ,Wha t if, without a ll this delay ,You e

’

en shoud take m e while you m ay,

And ra ise recruits another way ?

But i f it were apparently the greatest concern of LadyMary ’s friends to get her married aga in , her own greatestconcern was to insinuate hersel f into the Court c ircle , a

matter not very easy of accomplishment by an unattacheddaughter of the late Duke of Argyll . L itt le help could begiven by Duchess Jane , who had long since severed her

connect ion with Court c ircles , and was now living in ret irement at Sudbrook . And perhaps l itt le more help cou ld be

afforded by Lady Mary ’s sisters, a lthough “the most noisy

,

20


which she knew she was subject now and then . One day i nFebruary, 1785 , her servants Opened the door of her dressingroom in Wentworth Cast le , and found the ir mistress lyingaga inst the fire -grate so severe ly burned that she died a fewdays afterwards . Lady Betty, the third sister, married Mr.

James Stuart Mackenzie, of Rosehaugh . She is describedas be ing more l ike hermother than any of th e others honest ,well -meaning , and even warm -hearted, but i l l-ma nneredand as capric ious as a weathercock . She soon obta ined anextraordinary influence over h er husband ; and her habit ofcommand at home begot a certa in peremptoriness i n societywhich was not a lways we lcome. Lady Anne Pitt , sister of

the great commoner, once said,“ Lady Betty takes th e

l iberty in society of tel l ing one that one l ies, and that one

is a fool and I cannot say that I think it at a ll agreeable .

”

Of course i t was not agreeable , a lthough in a good many

cases, doubtless , i t was on ly too true . But we must returnto Lady Mary , who , notwithstanding the difficu lt ies in herway, very soon effected h er entrance into the sacred circle ofthe Court . S he managed this partly by sett ing herself toacqu ire th e favour of Prin cess Amelia , George the Second ’s

unmarried daughter, and part ly by cu lt ivat ing the friendshipof Lady Yarmouth , the King

’s e lderly mistress , betweenwhom and h is Majesty i t pleased Lady Mary to assume thatthere must have been a private marriage . Lady Yarmouth ,i t wil l be remembered , was the somet ime Madame de

Walm oden who had been brought over from Hanover by

George the Second soon a fter the death of Queen Carol ine ,and who is now memorable for l ittle beyond the fact that

sh e happens to be the last recognised roya l mistressthat a King of England ventured to ra ise to the peerage .

A real friendship seems to have sprung up between thesetwo

,for after th e King ’s death , when Lady Yarmouth , of

course , becam e a person of no importance at a ll , Lady Mary

rema ined on affect ionate terms with her to the day of her

death . The Princess Amel ia was another sort of person

22

A GRANDE DAME —LADY MARY COKE

a ltogether. She had been for some t ime the intended wifeof Frederick (the Great) of Prussia , who corresponded withher unti l his marriage i n 1773 . S he was afterwards thoughtby many of that class of wel l - informed persons who, asLord Chesterfie ld used to say, know everything, and know

everything wrong , to be private ly married to the Duke ofGrafton . But apparently she never gave a thought toanybody after her disappointment in the case of the great

Frederick and when she died it was discovered that she had

a lways worn a miniature of him next to her heart . S he did notbecome attached to Lady Mary as Lady Yarmouth did, being,indeed , a lternately amused and annoyed at her vagaries, but

for five -and -twenty years Lady Mary was a constant guest at

the dinners and card -part ies which her Roya l H ighness gave

at Gunnersbury or at her house i n Cavendish Square .

I t was se ldom that Wa lpole did anything but make fun ofLady Mary ’ s pretensions to influence in affa irs but once inh is l ife at least he seems to have thought that she might beable to secure a mil itary appointment for one of h is prote

’

gés.

Th e following letter is not dated ; but from interna l evidencei t must have been written some t ime between 1757 and 1759

DEAR MADAM ,— Woud you take m e for a solicitor ? You must ,since I cons ider you as a Minister , the only one of whom I woudask a favour. Th e grea test m an in this country to military eyes is myLord Ligonier . Now all th e world knows you govern him . I want anadvancement for a young m an who h as served some time , with

gr eat gallantry, whose family are the worthiest people on earth .

Yet I will not dece ive you , there is an Objection to him , th e one h e

cannot help , but I have too great a regard for you not to respect yourb adysh ip

’

s prejudices in short , h e is a Scotchman , a nation you don’ t

love . However , if you can surmount y' aversion , it will exceedinglyoblige m e . I am so unfortunate as to love tha t unfashionable people ,and wish to serve them . Command my Lord Ligonier to grant theenclosed request ; the more earnest you are , the more generous th eaction will be ; in short , if you don

’ t do it , I will not believe , wha th itherto I a lways had believed, that even Fourscore cannot resistyou . You must not be content that I , who am but half-way , am yourabsolute slave.

HOR . WALPOLE . How I S your cold

23


The reference to h er prej udice aga inst Scotchmen is somewhat ambiguous . On the face of i t , i t would seem to be on ly

Wa lpole ’s ironica l way of recommending h is protege to a

daughter of a Duke of Argyll . On the other hand,i t is a

highly curious circumstance , considering h er parentage , tha t

she visi ted Scotland but twice in h er l ife , once with her

father and one of her sisters in early days, and once in 1759 .

Whether or not she was able to secure the appointment forWa lpole ’s protege does not appear ; but she and LordLigonier were on th e best of terms for many years . H e

was the only person , she declares, from whom sh e everaccepted an obl igat ion , and when he died , in 1770 , at the age

of ninety-one , he left her a hundred pounds to buy a ring inremembrance of a fa i thfu l friend and servant.Wa lpole ’s next letter to her, which is dated from Arl ington

S treet , February 19th , 1760 ,is not so inte ll igible as i t might

be , because the humorous letter to which it refers has not beenpreserved with Lady Mary ’s other papers

Thank you , Madam , for letting m e see this letter. There is a greatdea l of humour in it , and it d iverted m e so much that if I had asked ,h ad yr leave , I woud willingly have taken a copy of it ; but indeedI have not . There was, I daresay , a very pretty supplement to theStory , which y”Ladyship did not tell m e . D id not the Duke show h ewas pleased with the le tter ? Your fa ther had too much wit not to fee lfor a m an who h ad th e least portion of it . I t is happy to have temperenough to j oke oneself out of a prison , but it is happier to be able todeliver a m an who jokes there ; 8: therefore , Madam , if you knew thelatter part of th e story , you are a most undutiful Daughter for nottell ing it . Don ’ t fancy because you are s ilent about your own Virtuestha t you m ay take th e same liberty with those of other people . I t iswell the Duke of Argyll ’s reputation is established . I see it woudnever have been spread had it depended on h is own children . H e was

forced to owe it to strangers . In short , Madam , I am very angry , ifI coud help it , I woud not be

Yr most devotedHumble Sert . ,

HOR . WALPOLE .

Later on in the course of this year we find an occasiona lj oke in h is letters to others about his sufferings from the gout ,

24


and from h is love for Lady Mary Coke , and an occas iona lmention of meet ing her at some prince ly country mansion orother ; but apparently h e did not write to h er aga i n unti l thebeginn ing of the following year. Then , however, h e madeamends , both by the length and the qua l ity of h is epist le ,which is dated from Newmarket , February 12th , 176 1 , at

which place he rested on h is j ourney to th e family boroughof King

’

s Lynn , whose inact ive and inattentive M.P . he h ad

been for the past four years

You woud be puzzled to guess , Madam , the reflections into whichSolitude an Inn have thrown m e . Perhaps you will imagine tha t I amregretting not being at Loo at Princess Emily ’s , or tha t I am de testingthe Corporation of Lynn for dragging m e from th e amusements ofLondon , perhaps that I am medita ting wha t I sha ll say to a set ofpeople I never saw , or

— which woud be more like m e— determiningto be out of humour th e whole time I am there , and show how little Icare whe ther they e lect m e aga in or not . I f your absolu te sovere igntyover m e did not exclude all jea lousy, you might probably suspect that theDuchess of Grafton ! afterwards Lady Ossory and a favourite correspondent of h is] “ has at least as much share in my chagrin as Pam ”

th e game of Loo] “ himself. Come nearer to the point, Madam ,

conclude tha t I am thinking of Lady Mary Coke , but in a stylemuch more becoming so sentimenta l a Lover than if I wa s mere lyconcerned for your absence . In short , Madam , I am pitying you ,

actually pitying you ! How debasing a thought for your dignity ! buthear m e . I am lamenting your fate : tha t you , with a ll your charmsand all your merit , are not yet immorta l . I s it not provoking tha t,with so

.m any admirers and so many pretensions, you are likely to be

adored only so long as you l ive Charming , in an age when Brita in isvictorious in every quarter of th e G lobe , you are not yet enrolled in theanna ls of its fame ! Shall Wolfe and Boscawen Amherst b e the

talk of future ages , the name of M ary Coke not b e known ? ’Tis

the height of disgrace . When wa s there a nation that excelled therest of the world whose Beauties were not as ce lebra ted as its Heroesits Orators ? Tha is, Aspasia , Livia ,

Octavia— I beg pardon for

mentioning any but th e Last when I am a lluding to you— are as

familiar to u s as Alexander, Pericle s , or Augustus ; except theSpartan Ladies, who were a lways looked up in th e two pa ir of sta irsmaking child -bed linen and round -eared caps, there never were any

women of fashion in a gloriously civilised country bu t who had cardssent to invite them to th e Temple of Fame in common with thosedrudges, the m en, who had done the dirty work of honour. I say

25


nothing of Spa in , where they h ad so true a notion of gallantry tha tthey never ventured having the ir bra ins knocked out but with a viewto th e glory of their Mistress . I f h er name was bu t renowned fromSegovia to Saragossa , they thought all th e world knew it and werecontent . Nay , Madam , i f you h ad but been lucky enough to b e bornin France a thousand years ago ,

tha t is fifty or sixty, you woud havegone down to eternity hand in hand with Louis Quatorze ; th e Sun

woud never have shined on him , as it did pure ly for seventy years, b uta ray of it woud have fall en to your share . You woud have helpedhim to pass the Rhine been coupled with h im at least in a

B ou t r im é.

And what are we thinking of Sha ll we suffer posterity to imaginetha t w e have shed a ll this blood to engross the pitifu l continent ofAmerica ? D id Genera l C live drop from Heaven only to get ha lf asmuch a s Wortley Montagu ? Yet this they must suppose , unless weimmedia tely set about to inform them in authentic verse that yourEyes half a dozen other pa ir lighted up a ll this blaze of glory . Iwill take my death your Ladyship was one of the first admirers ofMr . Pitt, all the world knows tha t h is Eloquence gave this spiritto our arms . B ut, unluckily , my depos ition can only be given in prose .

I am neither an Hero nor a Poet . Tho ’ I am as much in love a s i f I hadcut a thousand throa ts , or made ten thousand verses , posterity willnever know anything of my passion . Poe ts a lone are permitted to tel lthe real truth . Tho’ a Historian shoud , with a s many asseverationsas Bishop Burnet, inform mankind tha t the lustre of th e British armsunder George 2md was singly entirely owing to th e charms of LadyMary Coke , it woud not be bel ieved . Th e slightest hint of it in a stanzaof Gray woud carry conviction to the end of time .

Thus , Madam , I have la id your case before you . You m ay, as youhave done , inspire Mr. Pitt with nobler orations than were uttered inthe House of Commons of Greece or Rome ; you m ay set all the worldtogether by th e ears ; you m ay send for a ll th e cannon from Cherbourg ,a l l th e sca lps from Quebec , or for every Nabob ’s head in the Indies ;posterity will not be a j ot the wiser, unle ss you give the word ofcommand from Berkeley Square in an ode , or you I meet in thegroves of Sudbrook in th e midst of an epic poem .

’Tis a vexatious

thought , but yr Ladyship this age of triumphs will be forgottenunless somebody writes verses worthy of you both .

“ I am your Ladyship ’sMost devoted Slave ,

HOR . WALPOLE .

Old George the Second was gathered to his fathers,and

young George the Third ascended the throne i n October,1760 . In those days one of the most important fest ivi ties of

26


the year was the sovereign ’ s birthday, when all the nobi l ity

and gentry in London , ma le as we l l as fema le, vied with one

another in the magnificence of the new clothes in which theypresented themse lves to congratulate the ir monarch at the

pa lace of S t . James’s . George the Third ’s birthday was

June 4th , and , of course , Lady Mary was part icu larly anxiousto show herse l f and her new dress at the first of these loya lce lebrat ions . But for some l i ttle t ime previously she had

been out of health , and consequent ly her ga l lant correspondent tried to dissuade her from running any risks .

Assuming for the nonce the character of h er spiritua l adv iser,he del ivered himsel f of a mora l d iscourse to the followingeffect

A Sermon on absta in ing from Birthdays on certa in occasions,preached be fore th e Right Honourable the Lady Mary Coke onSunday , May 3 rst, 176 1 , by H . W D .D . , Chapla in to h erLadyship and Minister of St . Mary, Strawberry Hill .

B lessed is the Wom an tha t absta ineth from B irthday s, because of the

Angels.

’— Epistle of St. Luke to the Cam elinth ians, chap . iii . , v . 7 .

In treating the words which I have just read to you , and whichhave given occasion to much disputa tion , I sha ll endeavour two things :first , to show wha t the words do not mean , and in th e second place , todiscover the ir real import ; and when tha t is once settled I shall placebefore you th e duty of obedience to the advice of th e Apostle. Someoverweening Men, too fond of casting stumbling -blocks in the way ofthe ir brethren , have superstitiously taken a handle from the words ofmy text to prohibit s imple women , their followers, from paying the firstduty of attendance on the Lord ’s Annointed , and congra tulating him inChristian Charity on the day of his entrance into this sub lunary world ,a duty which , give m e leave to observe , is nowhere forbidden in theGospe l, but which has been practised in all orthodox socie ties since thecessation of persecu tion and th e convers ion of th e hea then Emperorsto Christianity . St . C lement Cotterell ianus, in h is epistle to that holyvirgin St . Lubrica , says, Sha ll the pagans ce lebra te the festiva ls oftheir idols , shall they burn incense before them on th e supposedanniversary of their nativity, and shall not th e fa ithfull much morerej oice on the birthday of him ’

(meaning Constantine ) who hath plantedthe Cross on th e tem ples of those false gods ? O Lubrica , the pa laceis now the shrine of truth . Ve il not thy fa ce , nor cover thy neck , butenter into th e penetralia of our most b lessed Emperor, and salute him

27


on his proper feast . ’ But the reason now given for derel iction of thiscommendable practice is more extraordinary than the prohibit ion itself‘ B lessed is the Wom an tha t absta ineth from B irthday s , because of the

Angels’

; that is, say these interpreters , it is not meet for a ChristianMa tron to deck hersel f out and put on her choicest ornaments, as iscustomary on these festiva ls, because th e Angels, who , the Rabbinspretend , have been tempted to covet beautiful women , and who watchover the pa laces of Princes , m ay b e drawn into sin by the sight of suchlove ly objects . B ut this interpreta tion is grossly erroneous, carna l,and partia l, as I sha ll show . I t is erroneous , because we nowhere readin th e inspired writers of any such sinful communica tion between a

superior order of Be ings and us Morta ls s ince the Deluge, and it is

not to b e supposed that the Apostle woud give injunctions aga instwhat wa s never l ikely to happen ; it is carna l— m y respect for th eblushes of this audience forbids my expatiating on this subject , and

those blushes inform m e tha t a further discussion woud be unneces

sary— and it is partial , because a precept de livered in genera l wordsmust be ca lcula ted for the genera l ity . Now , if there were any meaningin this forced construction, the Apostle woud exclude all the young andmore amiable of their S ex from paying the duty owed by subjects tothe ir Sovereign , and woud fi ll h is Court with none but the aged and

deformed , for I suppose those refined commentators do not imaginetha t th e Angels woud be in any danger of sinning even in thought bythe sight of the most sumptuous Hags and most pa inted and mostpa tched Beldames . This, therefore , cannot be the meaning of thetext .

“ I shall endeavour, secondly, to show what it does mean . Andin sifting into any ambiguous passage which does not at first presentan obvious meaning , we must search for coll atera l a ssistance

,and

endeavour to collect from the language , situation, or circumstances ofth e Writer, and from the age in which he wrote , and from th e personsto whom he addressed himself, wha t was most probably the scope heh ad in view , and how h is words m ay be best rendered so as to answerh is purpose . By trying the passage before u s on this touchstone , wem ay in a ll l ike lihood arrive at a certa in knowledge of the Apostle ’sintention .

“The Epistle is addressed to the Cam elinth ians , a most beautifulrace of people inhabiting the north -west coast of Thessa lonica , whosefemales were remarkably tender , del ica te , and loyal . I t was writtena t the beginning of the reign of Theodosius th e Third

,the most hopefu ll

young Prince tha t had ever ascended the throne of the Caesars . Historyinforms u s tha t Mary , a noble Lady of th e Race I have mentioned , andof the most exact harmony of fea tures and person , was noted for h ers ingular a tta chment to th e Emperor, in opposition to the pre tensionsof the Tyrant Basilides. She was but just recovered from a dangerous

28


but ‘ I caught my death at a Birthday,’— which that we m ay none of

us do , etc . , etc.

This sermon , which , if recited in the tone and manner ofsome cleric of their acqua intance , probably made a fa irenough parody on the k ind of discourse that Lady Mary andHorace Wa lpole would frequently have l istened to togetherin the church Of R ichmond or of Twickenham , did not , how

ever, meet with her Ladyship’s approbat ion . She does not

appear to have obj ected to its rather laboured wit , nor to whatsome ladies would have considered its flavour of profanity,bu t the pretended quotat ions about leanness , and witheredl i l ies , and roses that had lost the ir smell , seemed to her t o

imply that he be l ieved her il lness to have spoilt h er goodlooks, and sh e resented it accordingly . H er letter on the

subject has not been preserved , but two days later heendeavoured to smooth her down as fol lows

“ STRAWBERRY H ILL,“jnne 3rd , 176 1.

DEAR MADAM ,— I will renounce my new vocation if my zeal ha theaten you up . I intended to laugh you out of danger, but I res ign al l

th e honour that h as a ttended my prea ching i f I h ave given you an

uneasy moment or a disagreeable thought. You answer m e tooseriously upon the foot of looks ; I wish I coud a lways justify myse lf aswell as I can on this chapter ! D id ever any m an te ll a very prettywoman tha t sh e looked ill but when it was in h er power to look we ll, orwhen she was sure of looking well immediately I t is bruta l— a

behaviour I think your Ladyship cannot suspect m e of— to tell a womanh er beauty is gone ; it is kind to warn h er to preserve it , or to take careto recover it when it is clouded by sickness . I don ’ t love to put myselftoo much in your power, but how are you sure that I was not jealouslest anybody shoud look better than you a t the Birthday ? I knew youwoud not borrow any bloom ; I knew a little time woud restore it . I t i sfor the honour of my passion tha t you shoud never be seen withoutbe ing admired , it imported to my glory that Lady Mary Coke shoud

rather be missed a t th e first b irthday of the King than that a charm ofhers shoud be missing. But I h ad a better reason than a ll these I wasser iously afra id of your hurting yourself, my having staggered yourresolution proves to m e tha t if our D ivines make no more converts it isbecause they do not feel wha t they preach . I wa s e loquent because Ispoke from my heart .

30


I propose to be in town on Friday, sha ll be happy to receiveyour commands for a visit to Strawberry— if Strawberry is not drowned .

I have scarce been able to stir out of th e house s ince Monday morning .

My workmen are all a t a stand , the Deluge seems to be arrivedbefore my ark is ha lf ready. Adieu, Madam .

Y‘ most fa ithfull“ humble Sert . ,

HOR . WALPOLE .

Wa lpole wrote to many of h is correspondents about LadyMary in much the same gal lant style that he invariablyadopted in h is letters to hersel f. But with all h is admirat ion ,which was evidently genu ine enough , no one more clearlysaw h er faults and foibles ; and there is a lways an undertoneof subtle ra il lery , which she does not seem to have fe lt,but which was qu ite patent to anybody else . When she

went to the Continent in the spring of 1761 , he enjoinedConway to te l l him how many burgomasters she subdued ,or how many wou ld have fa l len in love with her i f they hadnot fa l len asleep instead , whether her charms caused the innkeepers to abate something of the ir usua l imposit ions ,whether she rea l ised how polit ica l ly significant her j ourneywas considered to be , and so forth . And when , in Decemberof that year, he comp osed some l ines extempore (such things,of course , were a lways extempore) on th e S t . Anthony ’s fire

in her cheek, the verses were sent , not only to the ladyhersel f, but to other friends and acqua intances as we ll .

Doubtless h e was qu ite wel l aware that h e had a very prettygift for this style of compl iment both in prose and i n verse ,and was as much in love with h is own composit ions as withthe person who gave occasion for them . These are the

versesON LADY MARY COKE H AV ING ST. ANTHONY ’ S

F IRE IN H ER CHEEK.

No rouge you wear, nor can a dartFrom Love ’s bright quiver wound your heartAnd thought you Cupid and his MotherWould unrevenged their anger smotherNo , no , from Heaven they sent the fireThat boasts St . Anthony its sire

3 1


They poured it on one peccant part ,I nflam ed your cheek , if not your heart .In va in— for see the crimson r iseAnd dart fresh lustre through your eyes ,While ruddier drops and baffl ed pa inEnhance th e white they mean to sta in .

Ah nymph , on that unfading faceWith fruitless pencil Time shall traceHis lines ma lignant, since diseaseBut gives you mightier powers to please .

We m ay take it for granted that this was much moreacceptable than th e references to withered l i l ies , etc.

,in h is

mock sermon .

Early in the following summer Lady Mary appears to

have made another l itt le j aunt abroad , and t o have had some

trouble with the authorit ies at Ca la is . I t was probably a

matter scarce worth ment ion ing twice , but her knight of the

pen deftly weaved it into h is next complimentary epistle .

Towards the end of June news of a Brit ish victory over th e

French reached London . Prince Ferdinand of Brunswick

and th e Marqu is of Granby had made a successfu l a ttack on

th e French on th e 24th of the previous month , surprising th e

army under Marsha ls d ’

E strées and Soubise at the ir camp atCassel , in Westpha l ia , and taking a large number of prisoners .

On receipt of this inte l l igenceWa lpole at once sat down and

wrote as followsSTRAWBERRY H ILL ,

“jnne 3oth , 1762 .

When Britons are victorious, it is impossible not to congratulate thefirst H eroine of Brita in . Pray, Madam , did your Ladyship commandPrince Ferdinand to atta ck th e French camp in revenge for the Governorof Cala is presuming to attempt making you a Prisoner or did thespirit of J ohn , Duke of Argyle , inspire h is countrymen with this ardour,vindicate h is Daughter from such an insult ? I have told my LordH ertford tha t I expect to hear y Ir Ladyship h as made a triumphantentry into our headquarters, that with becoming dignity you haveobtained from our Genera l the l iberty of th e 200 French offi cers, a properway of resenting your confinement . Go to th e army you certa inly will .S teel waters you cannot want , you who want nothing but a helmet to betaken for Britannia . Pray let m e know in time . I t woud be most shameful

3 2


in m e to be languishing under an Acacia while my Sovereign Lady is atth e head of a Squadron . All our other Militant Dames have followedthe ir Husbands your Ladyship will follow V ictory , and influencemore . I t is grievous tha t one female Campbe ll should have quittedGermany at the opening of a Campa ign . N o , I wi l l go fetch my LadyAilesbury from Park Place , and my Lady Cecilia , who is not big enoughyet to hurt Master Johnson

’

s head by wearing a coa t of ma il, tho’ I fear

she I sha ll look a l ittle l ike starved vultures tha t follow the army forprey . As to peace , it is now undoubtedly removed to a grea t distancethere can b e no end of .war while another Mary ha s Ca la is wr itten on her

heart, a Mary whose heart will not easily break . I know , to mysorrow ,

how invulnerable it is . Well ! I can but go and be killed . Ishall d ie in your sight, you will avenge my death , tho

’

you woud notsave my life . I did not think this woud be my end , but the King ofPru ssia and other grea t m en have been made Heroes , whom naturenever intended for the profession , yet I cannot help laughing to thinkwhat a figure I shall make for I am too much a Goth not so much an

Hero , but I will be completely armed , from my own armoury herea rusty helmet with rotten wadding ; a coa t of ma il tha t came fromCombe , belonged to a trooper of the Ear l of Warwick : it will befull heavy for my strength , but there is a mark of its be ing bullet -proof—a las l I had forgot I am to be shot— one gauntlet : I have no more a

Persian shield enamelled ; a Chinese bow , quiver , arrows an Indiansabre dagger ; a Spear made of wood with fifty points . DearLady, don

’ t set out without m e ; stay for S r Scudamore . Cannot youfind any little episode to amuse you in the meantime ? How has th e

Bishop of Liege behaved to you H as he neglected to kiss th e h em ofyour garment ? D ispossess him ; order the Chapter to e lect another .

I flatter myself you cannot want warfare . Confined to an Inn ! S t Inever was a Prisoner yet ; I will not stay a moment in your town .

’

Dear Lady Mary, how I honour your spirit I I can give you a very goodaccount of part of your family . I was at Sudbrook this evening saw

the Duchess and Lady Betty in perfect hea lth . Mr. McKinsy (sic)told m e of the ba ttle .

I f you had not had my heart before , you woud have won it by yourkind a ttention to Lady H ertford ; but I fear a ll is in va in . She willnot hear of Spa, is gone to -day to Ragley, I doubt , will go toIre land . Nothing touches h er about herself. Sh e is a s indifferent tothat as active anxious about h er family . Adieu, Madam ,

whetherwe meet on th e banks of th e Elbe or the Thames, you know I am

Most devoted ly yours,H OR . WAL POLE .

In the course of the year 1763 we get an occasiona l gl im pse

of h er Ladyship at the Opera , at somebody ’s magnificent

N.D . 33 D


enterta inment , or at Court . Wa lpole mentions h er as one

amongst a large company, including Madame de B oufflersand other French people , at Strawberry H i l l . In the ch a

racter of I m oinda, she was one of th e principal beaut ies of the

n ight at a grand masquerade at R ichmond House . Prince

de Masseran brought over for her a gown from Pari s

(smuggled through in all probabil ity), which sh e was greatlydisappointed to find a comparat ively simple one , instead of aspecial ly handsome dress which had been bought for h er byLady Holland

,wherefore Lord Hertford was i nstructed ,

through Horace Wa lpole, that the finer garment must be gotover the Channel somehow, even if a specia l ambassador

were necessary for the purpose . NO doubt she did rea l lymake a very fine figure i n society at this t ime , for Wa lpolewas not th e only person to celebrate h er charms i n verse .

One day, at the Princess Amel ia’ s , Lady Temple produced

th e fol lowing verses ( impromptu , of course), and the Princess

was afterwards much upbra ided by Lady Mary for showing

them to everybody e lse , but not to the person on whomthey were written . Coming as they do from a riva l fema le

court ier, they m ay be considered as infinitely more compl i

mentary than if they proceeded from the pen of a declared

ma le admirer such as Wa lpole

She sometimes laughs, but never loudShe ’

s handsome too , but somewhat proudAt Court she bears away the belleS he dresses fine , and figures we ll ;W ith decency , she

’

s gay and a iry ;Who can this be but Lady Mary

In 1764 her mother died , and it m ay be presumed that shewent into strict ret irement , for no ment ion of her i s t o befound unti l the autumn of 1765 , when Wal pole , writ ing to her

brother-in- law , Lord Strafford , apropos of an approachingvisit to Pari s , observes that he is sure to enj oy himse lf during

the earl ier part of th e t ime at least , because Lady Mary wil l

be there,“as i f by assignat ion .

”As it happened , he m et her

34


before he reached Paris , for i n a letter to Conway fromAmiens on September 1 1th he says that when abou thal f a mile from that town he saw coming towards him a

coach -and - four, where in sat a lady in pea-green and silver,with a very smart hat and feather, recogn ising whom he

j umped out of h is cha ise , fe l l on his knees , and sa id his firstAveMaria

, gratidplena bu t after a short interchange of gossipthey shook hands and parted , she going to the HereditaryPrincess , h e to h is i nn . Before long she returned to England

,

but he rema ined in Par is for some months , whence onOctober 1sth h e addressed to h er the following gossipyletter. H is fa l l ing in love three t imes presumably refers tothe admiration he fe lt , and expresses e lsewhere ,

for Madamede Rochefort , Madame de Mirepoix , and Madam e de Monaco .

I t m ay a lso , perhaps, be necessary to expla in , as he does

expla in in a letter to Conway , that the“ beast of th e

Gevaudan was an exceedingly large wolf, which was

a l leged to have twe lve teeth more than any other wolf everhad s ince the days of Romu lus ’ s wet-nurse ,

”and which was

shown in the Queen ’s antechamber with as much paradeas i f it was Mr . Pitt .”

As,to be sure , Lady Mary , you have read th e works of every

Horace tha t ever writ , you m ay remember tha t one of us has sa idsomething like this : Caelnm non podagram m utant qni trans m are

cnrrnnt. Th e verse , as I quote it , is a little lame , but you mustconsider it has got th e gout . So , a las ! have I . I s it not moving to becut off in th e bud of one ’

s curiosity, and at th e entrance of a new careertha t promised so bright a campa ign ? F or I must confess all myinfidelities. You are accustomed to hear and pardon them . In twodays I fe ll in love three times ; 85 th e Lord knows how large the

building of my seraglio must have been , if this wicked Gout h ad notstepped in between m e and the digging of th e founda tions . I do notlet it proceed , lest it shoud be taken for an Hospital , especia lly as oneor two of my Passions approach nearer to th e age of Inva l ids than ofSu ltanas. Th e a ffront to your sovereign charms

,I own , i s aggravated

by my going to fish into the last age for subjects of Inconstancy bu t

wha t signifies it ? I a lways return to you ; and at last you will have nocompetitor left but the Gout , who is si a im able“Your Ladyship , who only glanced at Paris, saw more of it than I

35 D 2


have . However, before I was confined I had th e fortune to be treatedwith the sight of wha t , next to Mr. Pitt , has occasioned most a larm inFrance , th e Beast of th e Gevaudan . I t wa s in th e Queen ’s antichamberat Verse illes when I wa s presented to h er . Th e first bra celets tha t aremade of its ha ir , you sha ll have one . I t has left an Andromache and

four l ittle Princes. The Savage Dowager wanted Monsieur d ’

Alem b ert

t o educa te h er cubs , but having refused the Czarina , h e coud notdecently undertake the charge , tho ’ there were more hopes of untea chingthem the ir bloodthirstiness than h e coud enterta in Of the Russianprogeny .

“ Th e Court is at Fonta inebleau ; the resid ence there , which wasto have been shortened , is now to continue to th e 18th of November ,th e change of Air and Ass ’s milk agreeing so well with th e Daup hin ,tha t they begin to have hopes of him . This leaves Paris a Desart — butwhat is a Desart more or less to a m an lying on a couch ? Indeed , Ihave company enough from morning to night , who have th e charity tovisit m e . Th e Due de Nivernois is inexpressibly good , h as scarcemissed a day . H e says he called often at your door

,regrets not

having seen you . Lady Mary Chabot , Madame Geoffrin, Madame deJuliao, th e old Pres ident H aynault, and twenty others have been bymy bedside ; in short , tho

’ I am only rela ted to Mr . Pitt by the Gout , Ifind they have great respect for m e . Here are b ut few English now ,

bu t there is one of the most amiable I ever knew ,Lord Ossory , whom

I see often . H e h as a grea t deal of th e engaging manner of h is cousinTavistock, is modest , manly , very sensib le , well bred . Of yourIsla nders your politics, thank God , I know nothing at al l ; Iam a lmost afra id of asking any questions, lest I betray my ignorance ,but is it true , as they say here , tha t Lord Temple is made Governor ofth e King’s children ? tha t Lord Sandwich is turned Methodist ?that Mr. Ellis h as been taken up for writing trea sonable papers ? Idon ’ t know how to believe these things, tho

’ I have seen many as

strange . Perhaps they only tell m e so to amuse my confinement . MyGracious Lady’s p enwill make any news acceptable to m e . I hOpe it isnot th e contrary to h er tha t I have re ta ined my pla ce in our boxat the Opera].

“What u se I shal l make of it the Lord knows . I f Iknew of any remedy for th e Gout , even in Japan , I shoud be temptedto go th ither ; but how or when am I to get even thither ? My littlefee t coud not bear yet a G iant

’

s sl ipper. When you see Lady Suffolk ,mention m e to her with th e respect gra titude I feel ; whenever

you write to Wentworth Castle , Madam , don’t forget my strong a ttach

ments there . Any good account of Lady S trafford ’s hea lth will a lwaysb e most wel come to m e . Not doubting your charity to a poor Inva lid ,I beg your Ladyship to send your letter to Mr. Conway ’s offi ce ,recom m andée d Mons

’ F oley , B anqu ier . My letter, I perce ive , is

scarcely legible , my paper, ink , and pens are abominable , my

36


compassion , but who are too sensib le , I hope , think m e so, t ocommend my person or admire m e

,as has been reported . I speak

the ir language too ill even to give way to my natura l spirits , tho ’

I trust I sha ll find them aga in at my return , I flatter myse lf tha t youwill not perce ive m e become a coxcomb , nor in love with myself , ate ight -and -forty, a fter five months of Gout . I hope to b e goodhumoured to th e last , but it will be a little hard if my Chearfulness istaken for Vanity . I dare not now , after wha t I have heard , j oke onmy pass ions , lest these should pass for pretensions, nor admire Madamede la Va ll iere ’

s eyes, lest some kind body or other shoud ta lk of mine .

You know m e , Lady Mary , 85 , I hOpe , will a cquit m e of any follies ofse lf- love . I have many others , 8: am willing to reta in them , but ontha t head

,indeed , I have not been guilty . Paris is still a Desart. Th e

Dauphin , who received th e last Sa craments two or three days ago ,

languishes on . However , h e has mended so much,tha t they have

appointed the Duke of Richmond ’s audience to-day, h e is accordingly gone to Fonta inebleau . I question whether the Duchess willnot be prevented for some time , as the Dauphin cannot last many days .

Other French news I have none , full as little of English . Nobodywill ever tell m e the Duke of Dorset ’s will , or whether the Duke ofCumberland made one ; bu t everyb ody says, I te l l you no newsbecause I conclude you have it from better hands .

’ I woud be contentto know what h as turned things round so tha t my Lady Bolingbrokeis in disgrace at Bedford House , my Lord in favour there . Thesem ay be old Stories in London , but woud b e very new to m e . You see ,I am humble in my curiosity . You will soon see th e Duke of Beaufortfrom hence , will find him improved in h is person , good -natured , andcivil . I am glad to find , Madam , tha t Lady Brown is a friend of yoursSh e is uncommonly good - humoured agreeably chearful. Lord 8:Lady Fife find h er a great resource . Tho ’ I have been here now abovetwo months, I have seen few of the Beauties none of the Pr inces Ofth e Blood. Above five weeks I was confined , or at least an Inva l id . Th e

Dauphin ’s illness h as looked up everybody at Fontai nebleau . However , a s I think this will be my last expedition across the Sea ,

Iendeavour 8: intend to see as much as I can. This is no verydiffi cult task , a s variety certa inly does not compose the life of theFrench . They live by the Clock , by th e a lmanack , and by custom . Ithink I coud with great truth write travels to Paris tha t woud totallycontradict all ideas rece ived of the French in England . I like manyof the people , and with great reason ; am reconciled to severa l th ingsthat displeased m e at first ; but there wants tha t singularity which ,however unreasonable , makes every English Character a Novelty . Tho’

the country and the people are new to m e , I find it more diffi cult tosay anyth ing in my letters from hence than ever I did in England .

When I find that the case , it is time , you will a llow , to finish . ]e ne

3 8


m’enna is pas , m a is je vons ennnierois. In short , as th e French don ’t lovelaughing, I will reserve my spirits till we meet in our box at th e Opera .

I tumble down ten times in th e day, am sensible that I ought togrow old ; but I don ’ t know how , I still flatter m yse lf tha t I sha ll liveto be foolish aga in . Not in public , where I intend to observe a ll th e

decorum and dignity of th e gout ; bu t I doubt my friends will not findthat my Wrinkles are very serious . Wrinkles , I assure you ,

there are ,

new ones, too ; and if there were not , I woud pa int them sooner thanl ie under the ca lumny of being charming . This does not imply

,Lady

Mary , that I give up th e least tittle of my cla im to your’

H eart ; on th econtrary, I pretend tha t you you only) shoud see my stick (if Iam forced to return with one ) in the li ght of a crook , for, in spite ofMadame de la Va lliere , etc. ,

I am still , ever will be,Y' Pa stor fido,

HOR . WAL POLE .

Wa lpole , now verging on fifty years of age , had never been

in Pari s s ince h e went the grand tour when h e was twenty

one ; but , as wil l be seen from h is next letter to Lady Mary,

when the first strangeness h ad worn Off, he took very kindlyboth to the place and the people , and was in no hurry to

return homePAR I S ,

“f an. 4th , 1766 .

I , tha t am used to the rapidity of events in London , Madam , am

astonished at th e dearth of Paris . They have no occurrences butdeaths, marriages , promotions, no Revolutions, no separations ,no horseraces, nothing tha t constitutes History. In th e first monthafter my arriva l they ta lked of nothing but whether th e Duchesse deBoufflers h ad the smallpox a second time or not. Then they livednine or ten weeks upon the Dauphin ’s dea th . They eked ou t th e

mourning and ceremonies as long as they coud ; Madame Geoffrin

owned fa irly t ’other night tha t now there was nothing to talk of— howmuch less than nothing is there to write of Why , tho

’

even my LadyBerkeley is here , one h as not a word to say.

“My life is perfectly French , I like it . I lie abed all the morning,breakfast, eat no dinner, visit after tha t no dinner, fix at nine for th eevening , sup , drink coffee , sit up till past two ; if I meet Madamede Mirepoix , drink tea

,8: stay till later . Oh ! it is charming ;

what is more delightful , have no House of Commons, which , however,I

'

b ate less than usual for its late behaviour . I t will be woful to returnto English hours, and manners , and assemblies. Yet I am notungra teful for the kind orders your Ladyship gave to Lady Brown to

39


send m e back yet if I coud transport you and a few more , and Strawberry, with a ll my cats Dogs, to Paris a m outhfull of verdure ,

I shoud not care if I never returned aga in . Th e Duchess of Richmondis not a t a ll of my mind , but very impatient to be at home ; yet I do allI can to make h er happy by carrying her to shops every day ,

is

there greater happiness ? We were at the Par is Marchand on new

year ’s eve , crowded 85 yet frozen to dea th . Nobody liked it but I ,who , having no terrors of gravity before my eyes , amuse myself asfoolishly as I please a l l day long . I t is pleasant to be in a countrywhere , be ing connected with nobody , nor having relation to anything ,one is at liberty to chase sense or nonsense without being torn to pieces .

Nobody has any interest to pity or blame one . AS often as I find thatI am too young to bear being old I Shall certa inly whip over hither,vent my vagary , return perfe ctly sober .

All this is upon th e supposition that I am not frozen to dea th withinthis week . Th e wea ther is as cold as in Russia , and a s here they sup

with the doors open , I am forced to eat soupe sca ld ing hot to preventbeing converted into an I sicle . Th e theatres are shut up since the

Dauphin ’s death— however, I don’t hear that you divert yourse lves better

in England . Your Operas , I am told , are wofull , Alm ack’

s not aj ot livelier than it was la st winter. In Short , I am convinced tha tAmerica will soon be the Source of all amusement they a lready writelib els, 8c laugh at your Parl iament . The moment a party is formedth e Chiefs must divert the ir partizans . I wonder Lord Temple doesnot scramble over thither ; h e woud have more hopes than are left h imin England ; but I recollect that h e is unluckily on the wrong side , orwe shoud have a new Obeli sk at Stowe , dedica ted to some patriot atBoston . I pity the ministry when George Grenville has got a new

continent Opened to harangue Upon . I have long thought tha t h eshoud have l ived in Lapland , where one day lasts for six months .

Rousseau set out this morning for England . As he loves to contradicta whole Nation , I suppose h e will write for th e present Opposition .

Pray te ll m e if h e becomes the fashion . As h e is to live at Fulham ,I

hope h is first quarrel will be with his ne ighbour th e Bishop of London ,who is an exce l lent subj ect for h is r idicule .

Adieu, dear Lady Mary . You see , I conceal none of my Levities ,but I pretend to some merit , a s, let m e be as fickle as I will , in onepoint I never a lter.

“ Y' most fa ithfullhumble sert

H . W .

Two months later, be ing st i l l an idler in Paris , Wa lpole

wrote aga in to Lady Mary, compla i n ing that from dearth ofmateria l he was compe l led to compose h is letter of “ dabs

40


of paragraphs but see ing tha t he mentions Dr. Smith ,who was none other than the afterwards ce lebra ted author

of The Wea lth of Nat ions,”

as accompanying h er twonephews in th e capacity O f tutor, and as l iving in the same

hote l as himse lf, it is much to be wondered at tha t he didnot favour h is correspondent with a sketch of the character,or at least Of some of the eccentricit ies, of that remarkable

m an. I t was left to somebody e lse to inform h er, a year

later, that the sa id Dr . Adam Smith was “the most absent

minded m an that ever was ” and she noted in her j ourna l an

amusing story about him which was re lated to her by LadyGeorge Lennox . Mr . Damer

,i t appears, ca l led one morning

on'

the Scott ish phi losopher j ust as h e was preparing h is

breakfast . As they ta lked the learned m an took a piece of

bread-an‘

d -butter in h is hand , and , after roll ing it round and

round and round,popped it into h is tea -pot and poured the

boil ing water upon it . Damer watched in qu iet amusementwithout drawing attention to this pecu l iar proceeding , and

presently h e had h is reward , for when Adam Smith pouredhimse l f ou t a cup of this queer decoct ion and tasted it , h e

qu ite innocent ly remarked to h is visitor that i t was the worsttea he had ever m et with .

PAR I S ,March 3rd , 1766 .

I am thoroughly concerned , Dear Madam , at the account you givem e of your health . If you woud a ttend to advice on tha t subj ect , Iwoud tell you that you barrass your mind body. You have not beenquite well a long while , and yet never take care of yourself for two daystogether . I woud recommend to you to love your friends less tolaugh at your Enemies . Th e goodness of your heart makes you tooa ttentive to both . F or the dethroned Empress !h e refers, perhaps, toth e Princess Dowager ofWa les],

“ who, you tell m e , ha s been wanting in

regard to you , sh e is surely below your notice . Rage , pa ssion ,disappointment dictate all h er actions, tho ’ sh e flatters herself that Artinfluences most of them . Take care of yourself, 8: be sure not tohave the jaundice , which is the only thing in which you can everresemble h er .

“ You do m e too much honour by far in thinking that publicly or

priva te ly I coud do any good . I did not leave England till I found I

4 1


coud not . I pressed wha t you wished , but was not l istened to . WhenI return , which will be th e end of this month or th e beginning of next ,it will most certa inly not be to meddle with politics , of which I was hedmy hand s for ever when I came away . Your nephews , Madam ,

Dr . Smith , are coming into the hotel I inhabit . You m ay imagine tha tthe ir ages and mine do not mate as very proper companions ; but , a sfar a s I can judge

,you will have uncommon satisfaction in them . There

is a natural modesty , good nature , good breeding in them , which isparticu larly amiable in young m en of the ir great rank . If the ir heartsare not like yours , I am much dece ived . Lord Lady Fife are goneto Holland , fewer English than usua l rema in here . The Kingh as been suddenly 8c unexpectedly at th e Parliament to -day . I havenot yet been out, nor know th e particulars , but I shoud think itwas on no favourable errand for them . They h ave lately madesome high remonstrances, three days ago h e sent for theirregisters to Verse illes . These matters , as you m ay suppose , occupythem much , but to m e , accustomed to livelier pol itics, they appearflea - bites .

I have not heard of Lord Strafford this age , but hope h e receivedmy last of January 23rd . This is not to extort a letter from him ,

but to put him in mind of a very s incere , humble servant of h isLady Strafford . Of Lady Suffolk I know still less. May I beg

your Ladyship to mention m e to h er ; if I knew a Syllable morethan is in every gazette , I woud wr ite to h er ; for my life, it is so

uniform,it woud amuse nobody . I hope Sh e is well, that Marble

Hill Strawberry H ill will be as good ne ighbours th is summeras ever .

You see , Madam , of wha t dabs of paragraphs I am forced to compose my letter. I t is a better reason for concluding than for continuingit ; but I coud not resist re turning my thanks for yours telling you ,wha t I trust you are persuaded of, tha t your hea lth is one of my firstcares , and , I hope , will be th e first of yours .

“ Y' most fa ithfulldevoted humble Sert. ,

HOR . WALPOLE .

I t was about this t ime , or rather a l ittle earl ier , thatWa lpole dedicated to Lady Mary Coke his we ird story of“ The Cast le of Otranto . When he first published it ,i n December, 1764 , he passed it off as a translat ion

,

by “ Will iam Marsha l l , Gent . , from an I ta l ian black

letter book of 15 29 , and a lmost everybody was imposedupon . But when h e found it to be a success, and a second

42


edition was ca l led for , he admitted the authorship ,prefixed to it the following l ines

To THE R IGHT H ONOURABLE LADY MARY COKE .

The gentle ma id whose hapless taleThese melancholy pages speak

Say, gracious lady , sha ll sh e fa ilTo draw the tear adown thy cheek ?

No,never was thy pitying breastInsens ible to human woes :

Tender , tho’firm

,it me lts distrest

F or weaknesses it never knows .

Oh ! guard the marvels I rela teOf fell ambition scourged by fate ,From reason ’s peevish blame

Blest with thy smile , my dauntless sa ilI dare expand to Fancy ’s gale ,

F or sure thy smiles are Fame .

Lady Mary , as has been remarked a lready, had l itt letaste or l ik ing for fict ion : her fame -conferring smiles wereusual ly given to blue-books, or State papers , or dry -as-dustgenea logies ; and , unfortunate ly, h er candid op in ion of

The Castle of Otranto h as not been preserved . In the

autumn of 1767 Lady Mary and Horace Wa lpole happened

to be once more in Pari s at the same t ime but her stay wascut Short by the sudden death of Charles Townshend

,her

Sister Caroline ’s second husband . After her hurried j ourneyto England she appears to have remembered to do somel i ttle service that Wa lpole h ad requested of her, and conse

quently cal led forth the following letter

“ PAR I S ,S ept. 20th , 1767 .

I am excessively thankful , Dear Madam , for your most Obligingcompliance with my request when you was in so melancholy a situa tion .

I coud only wish the letter had been dated a few days later, tha t Imight be sure you have not su ffered by your hurry , fa tigue, distress .

I heartily grieve for all Mr. Townshend ’s family , especia lly yr Sisterh is Mother, th e last of whom I think th e least likely to get over so

terrible a blow , considering h er state of health . I beg , when it is

43


proper, you will say something for m e to Lady Da lke ith , 8c a grea tdea l to poor Lady Townsh end , if you see her . I think it too early towrite bu t I will wa it on h er as soon a s I return , which will be in a

fortnight a t la test . I am very glad your Ladyship ’s passage was morefavourable than Lady Mary Chabot ’s , who wa s 2 3 hours at S ea , inth e utmost danger. A Dutch vesse l was lost very near them .

Poor MonsIr de Guerchy expired on Thursday last . There is a

House of as great ca lamity as the one you a ttend ! Nothing else hashappened here since you left u s , nor, indeed , I think , ever does, exceptdeaths , marriages , promotions . To my grea t j oy , the Prince ofConti is gone to Lisle Adam with all h is strolling Court, 81. I have notonce seen h im . I dined with Lady Rochford at the Duchessed

’

Agu illon’

s on Wednesday last . The views are fine , excepting thewant of verdure

, the garden , like a ll their gardens , seems tobe in no keeping. On Friday we dined a t Mr . Wood ’s at Meudon ,where th e prospect is much finer, but h is House is a perfect ruin , l ikean old banqueting House at th e End of an old -fashioned garden .

“ Th e Duke of York h as had a violent fever at Monaco , but I think isreckoned out of danger . Th e Prince has pa id him grea t a ttention ; so

grea t tha t h e h as put off a j ourney to th e Due de Choiseul’

s at

Canteloupe . Wha t can a Frenchman do moreLord March George Selwyn arrived this morning , I expect

them every minute . L"1 Algernon Percy is here too .

As I m ay set out sooner than I have m entioned , I do not know,

Madam, whether you will trust m e with any commissions . But myacqua intance here is so established , both with Friends and Shops , thatI can easily get anything e xecuted a fter my return to England .

Forgive m e , dear Lady Mary, if I conclude this letter of scraps . Ican tell you nothing from hence worth writing . Suppers are al l th e

events , and , as you know , seldom live ly .

Your most fa ithfulldevoted humble Sert . ,

H OR . WALPO LE .

As a matter of fact , this letter Of scraps, which he thoughtsca rce worth wri t ing , conta ined one i tem of news which toLady Mary was of momentous import , viz.

,the dangerous

i l lness of the Duke of York at Monaco , for ever since 1758 ,

when She was thirty- two and th e Prince n ineteen , she had

ca rried on what , on h er part at least , was a very seriousfl irtat ion with him . Edward , Duke ofYork , was th e greatestfool (which is saying a good dea l) of all the brothers of

George the Third . H e had , we are told , a mean l itt le form ,

44


and Lady Betty Mackenzie by not referring to i t at all !

These Sisters never afterwards occupied the same place inher affect ions as Carol ine did ; and to the end of her days shecherished a degree of an imosi ty aga inst the Duchess of Brunswick , th e Duchess of Hamilton , Lady Susan Stewart , andsome others who were outspoken enough to pooh -pooh herpretensions of a part icu lar re lat ion to the late roya l Duke .

Th e first t ime She m et Princess Amel ia after rece ipt of theterrib le news Sh e burst into tears . The Princess affected tobe l ieve that She was distressed about some other matter, butwhen Lady Mary, not taking the hint , insisted on expla in ingthat sh e was weeping for the Duke ofYork , her Roya l H ighness

b luntly sa id ,“ I f you did but know what a j oke he a lways

made of you , you wou ld soon leave off crying for him .

” Butshe cou ld not leave off crying for a long t ime . H er j ournali s full of entries on th e subj ect . The fancied sounds of the

firing of guns and th e tol l ing of bel ls were in h er ears dayafter day . Night after night she dreamt She was in Westm inster Abbey at the funera l day after day she wa ited (inva in , of course) for h is servants to bring h er some message ;for i t seemed incredible to h er that the Duke could have diedwithout having her in h is mind at the last moment ; anda fter th e funera l She went down into the vau lt in West

m inster Abbey to weep and pray beside the coffin . H er

friends evidently got sick of it , and kept out of her way, for

sh e com pla ins of be ing all a lone in her house at Nott ing H il l

for e ight weeks, and during that t ime having seen only fivepeople . H er sister Carol ine be l ieved , or affected to bel ieve ,that Lady Mary and th e Duke, i f not privately married , had

at least been defin itely betrothed but there i s not a Shred of

evidence for any such be l ief. Neverthe less for some t ime

afterwards she assumed something of the a ir of a roya l widow,

so that the Duchess of Brunswick j oked about our sisterM ary and h er unfounded pretensions excited genera l

laughter. But she persisted , for as late as ten or twe lveyears afterwards Wa lpole, whom by that t ime She had

46


quarrel led with irreconcilably, te lls one of h is correspondentsthat the absurdit ies of h er Roya l H ighness,

”as he took

to ca l l ing h er, were st il l the theme of sat irica l animadversion .

Marie it la Coque Lady Mary] h as had an outrageous quarrelwith M iss Pelham on polit ics , or rather a t Miss Pelham , who did notreply . This occasioned Lady Mary’s notes being mentioned , which she

signs as Duchess of York ‘ Marye ’

(th e e passing for a flourish) ifyou do not go to law with her . On this Burke said to Miss P . : Uponmy word , you will be a match for h er if you sign F rancess P

Unfortunate ly for Lady Mary ’s peace of mind , abou t twoyears after the death of the Duke of York th e Duke of

G loucester married Lady Wa ldegrave , the i llegitimatedaughter of S ir Robert Wa lpole, and shortly after that theDuke of Cumberland married Mrs . Horton , ne ither of theseladies, of course , be ing so highly born as a daughter of theDuke of Argyl l , and both of them , curiously enough

,being

widows . Then , says Lady Lou isa S tuart , Lady Maryfoamed at th e mouth , not so much because these roya ldukes had married beneath them , as because another roya lduke had neglected to marry h er. This was intolerable ;and so ,

shaking the dust of the Engl ish Court from her feet

(for a t ime She betook herself to the more congenia latmosphere of the Courts of Germany.

Before this happened, however, she had had a pleasant

jaunt to the south of France , and had a lso had a

curious proposal of marriage . The proposa l came about asfollows . On Sunday , May 1sth , 1768 , she dined at LordB essborough

’

s, whose house She reports as magn ificent andmore crowded with fine things than any house she had everseen . When Lord B essborough had shown her a ll the rooms,and She had admired everything as i t deserved , he turned toher and sa id simply , I wish Madam , you wou ld consent tobecome th e mistress of it . S he took this for a jest , and

laughingly repl ied that she was much obliged to him . Butwhen Lord and Lady Strafford joined them

,Lord

B essborough repeated h is proposa l and asked them what

47


they thought of i t , whereupon Lady Strafford sa id grave lythat in h er opin ion , if her s ister i ntended marrying

, She cou ldnot do better . I am afra id She does not think so ,

”repl ied

Lord B essborough . I t appears to h er too ridicu lous tomake an answer to it I am thirty years too Old , I suppose .

”

What answer Lady Mary then made She does not tel l us, but

sh e notes in h er j ourna l that it surprised her to find her Sistertaking the matter seriously , for, if she h ad any matrimonia lintent ions , Sh e might certa in ly expect to do much better thanLord B essborough . But sh e had no such intentions, being

too much attached to th e memory of th e person who is goneto think of any other engagement .

” Lord B essborough ,i t

m ay be rem a rked in passing , continued to cheri sh matri

mon ia l intent ions, a lthough a fter this he seems to have been

Shy of Offering h imself to any lady very much h is j un ior. A

couple of years later, when th e last of h is daughters was aboutto be married , Princess Am e l ia suggested that h e might l ikeLady Anne Howard for a second wife , in order not to be left

qu ite a lone , whereupon h e promptly replied tha t there wastoo much difference i n the ir ages . But he added

,with a

low how ,tha t , if her Roya l H ighness would accept of him for

a husband , the ages would agree better. The Princess wasso t ickled with th is qua int and unexpected proposa l that Sh elaughed t i l l Sh e could hardly stand . Then , recovering hercom posure , Sh e repl ied pleasantly, My good lord

,i f I were

to become Lady B essborough , I am afra id Lady Mary Coke ”

(who was then present) would never cover h er steps withcarpets to rece ive m e .

” Pardon m e Madam ,

”rej oined the

O ld lord,taking it all qu ite seriously, your Roya l H ighness

would keep your rank , and I shou ld agree that you keep your

fortune , only desiring to be excused settl ing a j ointure .

”

Whereat , of course , there was more merriment , and the only

sat isfact ion poor Lord B essborough got was to hear h is proposa l related by the Princess as a capita l j oke when the rest

of her company arrived .

During the course of h er j ourney through the south of

48

A GRANDE“

DAME— LADY MARY COKE

France Lady Mary had writ ten home to one of her Sistersi nqu iring what had become of Mr. Wa lpole . H er st i l ldut ifu l knight accordingly responded as fol lows

ARL I NGTON STREET ,“ Dec. 14th , 1769 .

Lady Betty Mackinsy (sic)“ tells m e

,Madam , tha t you have

asked what is become of m e ,and why nobody mentions m e . I cannot

wonder why they do not , but I am extremely flattered with yourInquiring. When one is far from being a nove lty, or when one crea tesno novelties, one is easily forgotten in such a World as London . Iwrite no libels , want no place , and occasion no divorce . Wha t righthave I then to occupy a paragraph in a letter Quiet virtues or smal lfaults are drowned in the noise nonsense of th e times . But this ismore than was necessary . I hope it will procure m e a considerablereturn of informa tion about yourself , Lady Mary. I hear you haveseen Volta ire learned many particu lars about Madame de Sevigneth e Grignans . I am ready to print all you sha ll impart . I f anyDraughtsmen grow in that part of th eWorld

,pray bring over a drawing

of Grignan . You shoud visit Avignon inqu ire after the good KingRéné, th e father of Margaret of Anjou , h is portra it his

pa intings ; and you must read th e Life of Petrarch in 3 quartos,make a pilgrimage to the Sa inte Baume ”

! a cave reputed to be thescene of Mary Magdalene ’

s penance]. These journies will amuse youmore than Aix . Then you m ay learn all you can about the Parliamentof Love th e Provencal Poets . Such pursuits are much moreamusing than I ntendants I ntendantes, 8c the ir awkward imitationsof the manners of Paris. I do not attempt to tell you any news , asyour s isters are such excellent correspondents . Lady Strafford looksparticularly well . Lady Ailesb ury, I think , quite recovered . Our boxis rarely inhabited , th e two last be ing bu t just arrived your Sisterready to return . The Operas are commended and deserted . I desertbut cannot commend them . Lady Betty Germa in , I shoud think ,wou’d be dead before you can rece ive th is . Our Loo parties are

rece iving a grea t loss by th e departure of Mello ” ! the PortugueseMinister], who is suddenly recalled to fi ll a chief place in the Ministry,on the death of Monsieur d ’Oyras

’s brother . Everybody regre ts him

,

he I be lieve will regret us. Madame du Chfitelet is returned withh er husband but take notice , Madam , I do not announce this to you as

good news. Such a scanty le tter as th is is scarce worth sending so far,yet as it is emba lmed in gratitude , I trust it will keep sweet . A monthhence there will be news enough , but as there will probably be nonethat will do us honour , I am ra ther glad to write during th e leastinterva l of folly . One does not blush while one ’s letter is opened at a

49


foreign bureau . Poor Mrs . Harris, though out of danger , does notrecover h er strength . She spoke to m e in the warmest terms t’othernight of your Ladyship ’s goodness to h er . I hope you are well guardedwith James’s powders . When I have so little to say for myself, youwill not wonder, Madam ,

nobody sa id anything for m e , but I could nothelp expressing my ob ligations a ssuring you that

I am a lwaysLady Mary ’sMost devotedhumble sert . ,

HOR . WALPOLE .

Whether or not She answered Wa lpole’s quest ions and

gave him any account of th e ce lebrated people and placesshe had seen does not appear ; bu t in a letter to one of her

sisters she gives an account of her v isit to Volta ire . H e

was then seventy-five years of age , and l iving qu ietly at hisretreat at Ferney . H e pa id his compliment to h er i nEngl ish , and spoke of her father in terms of high approba

t ion . Then he insisted on showing her his garden , a l thoughShe protested aga i n st th is

,because , as She declares , he was

att ired only “ in a flowered Silk wa istcoat and n ightgown , a

dark periwig without powder, Sl ippers, and a cap i n h is hand .

”

Having duly inspected the garden , She came i n to breakfastwith him , and , after staying a ltogether an hour and a hal f,came away very we l l sat isfied with her reception .

I t was i n the year following this that she determined tovisit th e Empress-Queen , Maria Theresa , at V ienna , and

Wa lpole , who h ad been i l l and unable to see her for some

l itt le t ime previously,wrote her th e following sat irica l

farewe l lMonday E vening , S ept. 24th , 1770 .

I t was a thorough m ortification,dear Lady Mary , not to see your

Ladyship yesterday when you was so very good to ca ll ; it was nosma ll one not to be able to answer your note this morning. My relapseI be l ieve was owing to the very sudden change of Weather. Howeveri t h as humbled m e so much that I shall readily obey your commandsbe much more careful of not catching cold aga in . I f it is possibleI Sha ll remove to London before you set out ; if it is not , I wish youhea lth , happiness, am usement— 8c, m ay I say, a surfeit of travelling.

5 0


I am glad you cannot go visit the Ottoman Emperor I havetoo good an opinion of you to think you will visit the NorthernFury . If a fter this j ourney you will not stay at home with us , I protestI will have a pa inted oil- cloth hung at your Door, with an account of yourhaving been shown to the Emperor of Germany 8: the Lord knowshow many other Potenta tes . We ll!! Madam ,make ha ste back you see

how fast I grow old ; I shall not be a very creditable Lover long, nor ableto drag a cha in that is heavier than that of your wa tch . Yet while a

shadow of m e lasts I will glide after you with friendly wishes, put

you in mind of the Attachment ofY' most fa ithfu ll Slave ,

“ H OR . WALPOLE .

This, the first of her vis it s to V ienna , was highly successfu l .

The Emperor Joseph was courteous to her, and h is mother,Maria Theresa , made much of h er while she was there, andbefore she left granted her a private audience , and presentedher with a fine medal l ion set with j ewe ls . Count Se i lern ,who had known her when h e was ambassador in England ,Prince Kaunitz , th e Prime Minister, the Thuns, the Lichtenste ins , and the E sterhazys, all enterta ined h er magnificently ,so that on her return Sh e had a great dea l that was bothinterest ing and i nstruct ive to report . Unfortunate ly sh e didit in so pompous a manner, and paraded so ostentat iouslyher int imacy with these i llu strious personages, that peoplewere forced to laugh at an exhibit ion such as might havebeen expected Of the daughter of a beknighted tal lowchandler, but was unaccountable in a daughter of the greatDuke of Argyll . HoraceWalpole seems to have antic ipatedsomething Of this kind , for while she was there h e addressedto her an apology for his dilatori ness as a correspondent in

the fol lowing humorous stra inARL INGTON STREET,

“]an. 27th , 1771 .

I am extremely flattered , dear Lady Mary, by your s isters telling m e

that you compla in of my silence— alas ! I thought , surrounded byEmperors and Empresses , you could not think of or care for the lettersof such little mortals as I . I imagined tha t I must write to you with a llthe formality of th e Aulic Chamber . I had begun an Epistle pu t

myself into one of Count Seilern’

s most exa lted attitudes, but my words

5 1 E 2


came so slow tha t I should not have finished before I hope . you willreturn . By your k ind reproof I trust you will a llow m e to descend frommy Austrian buskins , 8: write in my usua l style . I am !not], nor evercan be , a ltered towards your Ladyship ; but truth is, I feared yourbe ing become at least an Archduchess, did not know , which wouldbe a thousand pities , but your fa ir nose might have ri sen half an Inch ,and your lips, which could never mend , have dropped and pouted withprodigious dignity at being addressed with a familiar ity unknown to theHouse of Hapsburg . I am transported with finding you still th e same ,cou’d now a lmost trust you with the baneful influence of the

Czar ina . However , pray never th ink of making h er a visit too . Youhave travelled enough

,ought to have th e Magi come to see you,

instead of wandering yourself after every Star . I do not pretend,Madam , to tell you news, for Lady Strafford Lady Greenwich leavenone untold . One article rej oices m e grea tly, th e peace with Spa in . Ido not wish to conquer th e world every ten years Events happen hereso da ily tha t we do not want ba ttles 8c Sieges for conversat ion ;yet I think Politics are likely to grow a l ittle drowsy . The deaths ofMr . Grenville the Duke of Bedford have left Lord North in fullSecurity . Ld Temple takes no more part , and they say is evenquarre lled with Ld Chatham . W ilkes Parson Horne have a civilWar b etween themselves

,nobody ins ists upon one ’

s l ighting up

candles for e ither. Loo begins to yield to Quinze— Oh ! I h ad forgotten :there are despera te Wars between the Opera in th e Haymarket thatat Mrs . Cornely

’s . There was a negociation yesterday for a union , but

I do not know wha t answer the definitive Courier h as brought . All Iknow is tha t Guadagni is much more haughty than th e King of CastilleArragon , Leon, Granada , etc. In the meantime King Hobart is starving ;if th e junction takes place h is children must starve , for he must pay

the expenses of both Thea tres . Th e Ladies ’ C lub— Oh ! but you are oneof the profane must not be acqua inted with our mysteries, yet youmust respect them , for Mons r de Belgi oioso !Count Seilern

’

s successoras imperial ambassador] “ is one of our new members. H e is a sensib legood sort of m an, has not half the paste board about him tha tSe ilern h ad . You will like Monsr de Gu isnes too , who is very civilmodest , and h as none of th e agreeable peevishness of h is Predecessor ,nor th e charming indifference of h is Predecessoress. Wha t d o you say

at Vienna to MonsIr de Ch oiseul

’

s fa ll , when will your neighbourMustapha 3rd be sent in cha ins to Petersburg ? I s the Dauphiriessbreeding , or are you angry she is not ? Plays, at least scenes, thrive exceedingly . There is a farce at Covent Garden ca lled Mother Shiptontha t h as a million of pretty Landscapes Temples of RubyEmerald . Garrick has revived Dryden ’s King Arthur with some goodScenery ; unluckily, for a H ea then Temple h e has produced a GothicCathedral , in which the Devil happens to be the principal performer

52


virtues in people of supreme rank than in those of lower

degree i s that the influence of those in h igh places is so much

more extensive . But Walpole knew better ; and h e never

lost an Opportunity of Chaffing her about her infatuat ion .

When sh e invited him to spend a day with her at her Nott ing

H ill v i l la in June of th e same year, She was a lready ta lk ing

of a second visit to V ienna ; and his acceptance of the

i nvitat ion was framed accordingly.

“ STRAWB ERRY H ILL ,“jane 9 th , 1771 .

You cannot imagine , Dear Madam , how much I am flattered withrece iving your orders to pass a whole day with you , tho

’ I have not ,that I know of , a drop of Austrian blood in my ve ins. I t is trueCharlemagne was my Grandfa ther, by a Courtenay tha t married somebody from whom I am descended , bu t I hope you had not tha t match inyour eye , but gra ciously invited m e without cons idering tha t I am but athousand years off from be ing a sort of Prince . I sh a ll obey yourCommands with more submission Sa t isfaction than if yourLadyship ’s name wa s Teresa as well a s Mary. You are Goddessenough for m e , I sha ll never pilgrimize to Vienna t o see a

grea ter Lady . I wish you was as much content with your ownD ignity . A wise Lady should make such a progress but once ; nomore than the W ise m en. I doubt even whether they would havereta ined tha t character , if they had danced a fter th e same star yeara fter year. I t is the Emperor ’s turn to come after your Ladyship .

Can we expect him , if you carry to him wha t is most worth see ingin England or will he come if you are to return to Vienna ? Nay, h e

does not deserve your visit,when h e h as a vacant throne to offer

you , yet lets you sl ip out of h is hands . There is not an instancein Romance of such neglect . D o you think any considera tion uponearth would have determined Berenice to return to Rome a fter Titushad been so weak ill bred as to suffer h er to depart ? Sha ll th eDuke of Argyll ’s daughter run up down Europe l ike the WanderingJew ? Chuse your Kingdom 8: re ign there , tho ’ I sha l l certa inlydie of it, I wish you settled and crowned once for all . Your glory is stilldearer to m e than Loo at Notting H ill , even than all my rashhopes . F or your sake I would sacr ifice my darl ing view of tending a

few sheep with you on our two b ills , but I cannot bear to see youreturn so often without a D iadem . Or Cae sar or nothing ,’ sa id Borgia :

B e Caesar ’s wife or mine ,’

say I . Caesar ha s not done h is Part . Myheart is still at your Service , b ut I am off if you offer it to Cm sar oncemore . Nay I will not be pacified, tho

’ you shou’

d pretend the visit is

54


only to h is Mother . If you th ink of Vienna aga in , I marry Madame duDefi

’

and,8: will no longer be

Your Ladyship ’sConstant and

Eternal Adorer,

H OR . WALPOLE .

Lady Mary described this amusing epistle as the mostredicu lou s let ter sh e had ever read ; but the notion that

she might capt ivate and marry the Emperor Joseph was byno means so redicu lous to her mind as i t was to that ofthe humorous writer . She sent the letter to her brother- ih

law , Lord S trafford , ostensibly because she thought it wou ldamuse him , but real ly, perhaps , because sh e was ha l f disposedto think the suggestion abou t th e Emperor offeri ng h er a

vacant throne might have an e lement of prophecy in it .Walpole ’s banter often conta ined very sound advice , and sh e

wou ld have done better i f she had taken to heart that otherpart of the letter i n which he tried to dissuade h er fromdancing after the same star aga in and aga in and h e seems

to have repeated this advice on th e occasion of anothervisit to Nott ing H ill , for she notes in her j ourna l that oneday an unexpected coach stopped at her door, ou t of whichcame Mr. Wa lpole and his dog . H e had evident ly come onpurpose to scold h er for intending to return to V ienna .

When that was over , however, as she Sl ily observes,he asked

her more quest ions about the Empress , etc . , than anybody

e lse had ever done ; and she adds in conclusion , H as h e

any reason to compla in of my going to V ienna when he i sgoing to Paris — sets ou t th e beginn ing of next month

,and

stays six weeks . Anyway, her resolut ion was fixed ; andon September 4th she set ou t on her second visit to th eCourt of the Empress -Queen . Before She left England ,however, She rece ived from Wa lpole , who was then in Paris ,a l ive ly account of an interest ing scient ific experiment , of

which presumably he had been an eye-witness . According

to the Annua l R egister for 1771 , th is experiment was made ,in the presence of a considerable number of persons of both

55


sexes , in the laboratory of Mons ieur Roue l le , a physic ian and

member of th e Roya l Academy of France . This was some

four or five years before Lavoisier proved th e diamond toconsist of pure carbon by burning i t in oxygen and collect ing

the carbon dioxide gas which it formed . Wa lpole ’

s account

of the matter, which great ly enterta ined h er, though sh e

very ineptly describes i t by her favourite phrase of mostredicu lou s, i s as fol lows

PAR I S ,“ Ang . 22nd , 1771 .

I never trouble your Ladyship with common news . Th e l ittleevents of the World are below the regard of one who steps fromThrone to Throne , converses only with demigods demigoddesses. Parl iaments are broken here every day about our ears ,

but their splinters are not of consequence enough to send you. Iwa ited for something worthy of being entered in your Imperia lArchives— l ittle thinking tha t I Should b e happy enough to b e theFirst to inform you , at least to a scerta in you , of th e most Extraordinary discovery that ever wa s made , 8: far more important thanthe forty dozen of I slands which Dr. Solander h as picked up th e

Lord knows where , as h e went to catch new sorts of fleas 8c

crickets ; which sa id Islands , if well husbanded , m ay produceforty more Wars . The D iscovery I mean will occasion grea t desolationtoo . I t will produce a violent change in th e Empire of Parnassus , i twill be very prejudicial to the eyes , considerably reduce th e va lue ofwhat Cibber ca lls the Paraphona lia of a Wom an of Qua lity . I t isdiffi cult not to mora lise on so trist an event ! Can we wonder at.

tha t fleeting condition of Human life when the brightest 85 mostdurable of essences is proved to be but a vapour ? No

,Madam ,

Ido not mean Angels . They have indeed been in some danger ; buthave been saved , at least for some time , by Mad . du Barry , the

late Edicts tha t w ink at the return of the J esuits. Th e radiances inquestion have undergone a more fiery tria l , the ir nothingness iscondemned without reprieve . Yes, Madam , D iamonds are a bubble ,and Adamant itse lf has lost its obdura cy . I am sorry to say tha t itwould be a greater compliment now to te ll a beauty tha t she had rubyeyes, than to compare them to a Diamond , if your Ladyship ’sheart were no harder than Adamant , I should b e sure of finding itno longer irresistible . As this memorable process took its rise at

Vienna , your Ladyship m ay perhaps have heard something of it .Public experiences have now been made here ; the day beforeyesterday , the Ordea l Tria l was executed . A D iamond was put intoa Crucib le over a moderate fire

,8: in an hour was absolutely

56


annih ilated . NO ashes were left, not enough to enclose in a fancyring. An Emera ld mounted the Scaffold next— i ts Verdure suffered ,but not its Essence . Th e third was a Ruby, who triumphed overthe flames, came forth from th e furnace a s unhurt as Shadrac,Meshac, 85 Abednego— to the immorta l disgrace of the D iamond : a

Crysta l behaved with a s much H eroism a s the Ruby , not a ha ir ofits head was singed . Nobody can tell how far this Revolution willgo. For my part as I foresee that no woman of Quality w ill deign towear any more D iamonds , 8c tha t next to Rubies , cristal will be theprincipa l ornament in a Lady ’s Dress, I am buying up a ll th e old LustresI can meet with . I have a lready got a piece of two thousand -weight ,tha t I hope to se ll for fifty thousand pounds to the first Nabob ’s

daughter tha t is married , for a pa ir of Earrings ; I have anotherstill larger, tha t I am taking to pieces , intend to have set in a

Stomacher , large enough for th e most prominent Slope of th e presentAge . Mad . du Barry they say h as a lready given Pitt

’

s D iamond to h erChamberma id ; if Lord Pigot is wise , h e will change h is at Bette ’

s

glass shop for a dozen strong beer glasses . As to Lord Clive 85 th eLady of Loretto , I do not fee l much pity for them they are r ich enoughto stand this loss . Th e reflections one might make on this disaster are

infinite, but I will take up no more of your Ladyship

’

s t ime— nor do Icondole with you , Madam ,

your Philosophy is incapable of beingshaken by~so sub lunary a considerat ion as a decrease in th e va lue ofyour large ring . I t h as a secret and inestimable merit , which is out ofthe power of a crucible to assa il ; you 8: it will rema in or becomeStars, when th e fashion of this World pa sseth away .

I am , Madam ,

Yr Ladyship ’smost fa ithfull

humble Sert .,H OR . WAL POLE .

Before sett ing out for V ienna Lady Mary, of course , tookforma l leave of h er own sovere ign at one of the drawingrooms , when the Queen of England sent h er compliments to

th e Empress of Germany , and asked Lady Mary i f the Kinghad not had an amiable quarrel with h er about h er goingabroad . H er Ladyship duly noted these “ mighty finespeeches in her j ourna l , but at the same t ime expressed herconvict ion that nobody at St . James

’

s had been‘ worse treatedthan She had been ,— how or when it wou ld probably havepuzzled anybody else to point out . Three months later ,

57


when Walpole , be ing back in London , made inqu iries afterher of her sister Anne , h e was told that h e ought to write toV ienna , which h e accordingly did

,i n the following stra in

ARL I NGTON STREET ,Dec. 1 1th , 1771 .

Lady Strafford tells m e that I ought to write to your Ladyship . I Obey,though I am not quite clear that she is in the right . Can you care forhear ing from anybody in England , Madam , when you are indifferentwhether you see them or not ? I cou ’d say a grea t dea l upon thissubject , bu t I will not— only do not b e surprised that I have got a new

Passion . Ancient Pa lladins , I know , were bound to ma inta in constancy,tho ’ they travelled all over th e World but no Act of th e Parliament ofLove was ever passed enjoining fidel ity to Knights, when it was the irLadies tha t took to travelling. Indeed , if yr Ladyship had made a vowto wander till you had obliged every fa ir Dame in Europe to confesshow much handsomer I am than the ir lovers , something might be sa id ,but as you have sent no conquered Amazon to kiss my hand and

a cknowledge my cla im , I am not bound to bel ieve tha t you are trave lling to assert my G lory ; therefore regarding you as a truant , Ihave thrown my handkerchief to another Lady, declare

'

by thesepresents tha t I renounce your Ladyship ’s allegiance . I t wil l b e in va into mount your milk -white pa lfrey amble home directly ; the die iscast H eaven knows whether Matrimony itse lf m ay not ensue . ISha ll a lways reta in a sincere friendship for you, but rea lly there was noend of having one’s heart j olted about from one country to another,of having it lugged once a year to V ienna . A heart torn to pieces, likeflags torn in ba ttle , is very becoming, but a heart bla ck and blue ishorrible ; and I can tell you , y

Ir Ladyship does not look th e be tter forit,tho ’ you have endeavoured to concea l its bruises by embroidering it

all over with spread eagles. But here I drop th e subject : you are nowyour own Mistress , Madam ,

and m ay seek wha t adventures you please ,undisturbed by m e . I Sha ll be sorry to see you return even with twobla ck eyes, bu t sha ll bear i t with a ll th e Philosophy of friendship :as friends always do , sha ll content myse lf with te lling you it wa s yourown fault , with recommending th e best eye -water I know . Can a

friend go further, except in whispering to everybody, that if you wou ’dhave taken my advice , you wou

’d have stayed at home .

The best news I can send you , Madam ,is that I never saw Lady

Strafford look in better hea lth . The Town is a Desart : grass grows inthe pit at th e Opera . Th e Princess of Brunswick is coming : thePr incess Dowager is going . There is th e Devil to pay I don

’ t knowwhere ; the Duke of Chandos i s dead , to th e great oy of tha t noblefamily. All the fine ladies are in love with Prince Poniatowski

58


! brother of the King of Poland] and some of them win h is money atLoo— tha t they m ay have something to keep forEhis sake . England isin profound peace . Ire land is a hubbub . Decemb er, which is indeedno news to you ,

is warmer than June , 8: which is still news,“ I am your Ladyship ’s

most devoted(tho

’ inconstant)humble Sert . ,

HOR. WALPOLE .

About this time Lady Mary, for what reason does not

appear, became somewhat testy with h er cava l ier ; and in

the last of h is letters to her (or, at any rate , the latest in

date that has been preserved amongst Mr. Drum mondMoray ’ s papers) he was forced to defend himself aga instcharge s of neglect , of an a ltered behaviour, and of having

sent an uncivi l message to her through a third person

ARL INGTON STRE ET ,“]an. 29th , 1772 .

Your reproofs, my dear Madam , are so kindly tempered that , tho’

undeserved , I cannot be quite sorry to have rece ived them . I thank

you much for giving m e an opportunity of defending myself, youmust a llow m e to distinguish between the two accusations, as theyaffect m e very differently . What you think you have observed yoursel fwould hurt m e very seriously , if we ll founded . What has passed throughanother , Madam, you ought only to have smiled at

,if you will allow m e

to say so . Your Ladyship says tha t you have observed an a lteration inmy behaviour to you . I should be very culpable indeed if there wasany . I t woud be most ungrateful a fter a ll your goodness to m e ,

it woud be a capital contradiction to all I fee l . I am not of an age toplead giddiness and thoughtlessness, and yet most assuredly Ina ttentioncan be a ll my crime , because there is certa inly no Change in my RegardEsteem . I respect your Virtues , Madam , the thousand good

qua lities I know of you , as you have lost none of them , I musthave lost my senses if I did not honour them as much as ever , whichI swear to you I do . I beg your pardon if any negligence can be

imputed to m e , I refer you to my future behaviour for my Sincerity.

F or wha t your Ladyship calls a message in r id icule , which was

nothing but a very inoffens ive j oke , if no more was del ivered than Iu ttered , even in which you sh oud consider how much the a lterationbut of an accent m ay affect th e substance , al l I can remember is, tha tmeeting Lady G !reenwich] at Lady Blandford ’s, I sa id Something , Iprotest I do not know what, of supposing your Ladyship

’

s next jaunt

59


wou’d be to China . I shoud have sa id it to yourself without fear ofdispleasing you to say th e truth if this was aggrava ted into a

serious message , I must conclude it was done with a good intention ,a s your friends cannot but gr ieve at your frequent long Eclipses ,

m ay li ke to cover wha t they wish to say to you under anotherperson ’s name . Nobody can be absurd enough to suppose your Ladyship has any interested view in visiting the Empre ss - Queen , or incourting any other person . Can the Duke of Argyle ’s daughter desireto b e higher than sh e is ? woud not paying court be lowering h er ?Woud it not infer tha t she does not th ink herself great enough GreatBirth is your own. Favour must be conferred can only come froma Superior, they who confer favours a lways think so highly ofthemse lves tha t they seem to undervalue those whom they fancy theyhonour . In Short , Madam ,

not to be too serious , nor to enter into theEmpress ’s merits, which sha ll be a s great as you please , let m e beg youto return to your own Empire come and reign over those hearts youdispose of, do not leave them because somebody or other hasoffended you . Contempt Indifference are our best Weapons or

shie ld . Life is not long enough to a ttend to resentments . I t is easyto be happy , if one does not care much about th e World , but takesit a s it comes. I have practised wha t I preach , am sure of mynostrum ’

s success . I f one does not love Often , one cannot ha te oftennow both Love and Hatred are troublesome Inma tes . I will givey”Ladyship more lectures upon my Philosophy when you return ; butI sha ll not set them down in writing , for the profane are not to b einstructed . You shal l hear m e with pa tience— nay if you do not

,

I will not mind it , but preach on . I had rather make you angry withreason , than be aga in accused of neglect . I will make use of all theimpertinent privileges of a Friend, which I confess are shocking, ratherthan let you suspect m e of lukewarmness— but never a verba l messagemore ! I condole with you , Madam , on th e dea th of th e Princess ofH esse . Princess Amel ia , tho

’

expecting it, was much shocked . I tel l

you no news , for I know Lady Strafford sends you bushels, wet and

dry . I f She does not te ll you that th e Pantheon is more beautifu l thanthe Temple of the Sun, read no more of h er letters . I acknowledgewith th e utmost grat itude , dear Lady Mary, the repetition of yr Friendship am firmly persuaded tha t mine will never a lter on the conditionyou mark for its duration , if ! it]does, the fault must be in

Y lr Ladyship ’sMost fa ithfull

humble Sert . ,H OR . WALPOLE .

The fa ir lady , however , was not to be pacified ; and she

notes in her j ournal , I Shal l certa in ly answer Mr. Wa lpole’s

60


that I cannot help thinking you are possessed of th e G iant ’s b oots thatstepped seven leagues a t a stride , as we are assured by tha t accuratehistorian , Mother Goose . You are

,I know ,

Madam , an e xce llent wa lker ,yet methinks seven leagues at once are a prodigious straddle for a

lady. But wha tever is your manner of travelling, few heroines, ancientor modern can be compared to you for length of j ourneys . Th a lestris,

Queen of th e Amazons, and M . M . or N . N . Queen of Sheba , went ea chof them the Lord knows how far to meet Alexander the Grea t andSolomon th e W ise ; th e one to beg the favour of having a daughter (Isuppose), and he iress by him ; and the other, says scanda l, to grant a.li ke favour to the Hebrew monarch . Your Ladyship , who ha s morerea l Amazonian principles, never makes visits but to Emperors, Queens,and Princesses, and your country is enriched with th e maxims ofwisdom and virtue which you collect in your trave ls . For such greatends did Herodotus, Pythagora s, and other sages, make voyages toEgypt, and every distant kingdom ; and it is amazing how much the irown countries were benefited by wha t those philosophers learned inthe ir p erigrinations . Were it not that your Ladysh ip is actua ted bysuch publ ic spirit , I should put you in mind, Madam , of an old story ,tha t I might save you a grea t dea l of fa tigue and danger— and now Ithink of it , as I have nothing better to fi ll my letter with , I will relateit to you .

Pyrrhus, th e martia l and m agnanim ous King of Epirus (as my LordLyttelton would ca ll h im), being, as I have heard or seen goodmanP lutarch say , intent on h is prepara tions for invading I ta ly , Cineas , oneof the grooms of h is bedchamber , took the liberty of asking h is Ma jestyWha t benefit h e expected to reap if h e should be successful in conqueringth e Romans ? ‘ Jesus ! ’ sa id th e King , peevishly ; why th e questionanswers itse lf. When we have overcome th e Romans , no province , notown , whether Greek or b arbarian , will be able to resist us we shall atonce be masters of all I taly .

’

Gineas after a Short pause , replied Andhaving subdued I taly , wha t sha ll we do next Do next answeredPyrrhus , why se ize Sicily.

’ Very likely,’ quoth Cineas, but will tha t

put an end to the war ?’ ‘ Th e Gods forb id ! ’ cried h is Majesty ,

when Sicily is reduced , Libya and Carthage'

w ill be with in our rea ch .

’

And then without giving Gineas time to put in a word, the heroic Princeran over Africa , Greece , Asia ,

Persia , and every other Country h e h adever heard of upon th e face of God ’s earth , not one of which h e intendedshould escape h is victorious sword . At last , when h e wa s at th e end ofh is geography , and a little out of breath , Cineas wa tched h is Opportunity,and sa id quietly, ‘Wel l Sire , when we have conquered all th e World ,wha t are we to do then Why then ,’ sa id h is Majesty , extremelysa tisfied with his own prowess

,we will live at our ease we will spend

whole days in banqueting, and will think of nothing but our pleasures .

’

“ Now , Madam , for the application . H ad I had the honour a few

62


years ago of be ing your confidential Abiga il, when you meditateda visit to Princess Esterhazy, I shou ld have ventured to ask yourLadyship of wha t advantage h er a cqua intance would be to you ?Probably you would have told m e tha t sh e would introduce you tosevera l Electresses and Margravines, whose Courts you would visit .That , having conquered all the ir hearts , as I am persuaded you would ,your next jaunt Should be to Hesse ; from whence it would be but atrip to Aix , where Madame de Rochouart lives . Soaring from thence

you would repa ir to the Imperial Court at Vienna , where resides themost august , most virtuous, and most plump of Empresses and Queens—no

, I m istake— I should only have sa id of Empresses ; for h er Maj esty

of Denmark , God bless h er ! is reported to be full as virtuous, and threestone heavier. Sha ll you not ca ll at Copenhagen , Madam ? If you do ,you are next door to th e Czarina , who is th e quintessence of friendship ,as the Princess Daskioff says

,whom , next to the la te Czar, h er

Muscovite Majesty loves above a ll the world . Asia , I suppose , wouldnot enter into your Ladyship ’s system of conquest ; for though itcontai ns a s ight of Queens and Sultanas , the poor ladies are locked up

in abominable places, into which I am sure your Ladyship ’s amitywould never carry you . I think they ca ll them seraglios . Africa hasnothing but Empresses stark naked

,and of complexions directly th e

reverse of your a labaster. They do not reign in the ir own right ; andwhat is worse , the Emperors of those barbarous regions wear no morerobes than th e sovereigns of the ir hearts . And what are Princes and

Princesses without ve lvet and ermine ? As I am not a j ot bettergeographer than King Pyrrhus, I can at present recollect but one Ladymore who re igns a lone , and tha t is h er Majesty of Otahe ite , late lydiscovered by Mr . Banks and Dr . Solander and for Whom your Ladyship ’s compassionate breast must feel th e tenderest emotions, sh e

having been cruelly deprived of her fa ithful M inister and lover Tobin ,since dead at Ba tavia .

“We ll , Madam , after you should have given m e the plan of yourintended expeditions , and not left a Queen Regent on th e face of th eGlobe unvisited , I would ask what we were to do next ? Why , thendear Abiga il ,

’ you would have sa id , we will retire to Notting Hill , wewill plant shrubs a ll th e morning, read Anderson’s Roya l Genea logiesall the evening ; and once or twice a week I will go to Gunnersburyand drink a bottle with Princess Ame lia .

’ Alas,dear Lady and cannot

you do all tha t without Skuttling from one end of th e World to th eother This was th e upshot ‘of a ll Cineas ’s inquisit iveness : and this isthe pith of this tedious letter from ,

Madam ,your Ladyship ’s most

fa ithful Aulic Counsellor and humb le admirer .

”

I t was not to be expected— probably the writer himse l f

never expected— that humorous effusions such as this wou ld

63


cure Lady Mary of her passion for fore ign roya lt ies . I f theyhad any effect at a ll

,it was in another direct ion a ltogether

and they m ay perhaps have accelerated th e cool ing Of a

friendship which had been a warm one on both s ides for

seventeen or eighteen years . We now find notes in her

j ourna l to the effect that Mr. Wa lpole was“exceedingly

ou t of humour ” when She happened to meet h im at LordH ertford

’

s, that h e never once wrote to thank h er for having

ca l led so often to inqu ire after him during hi s i l lness, thatwhen h e ca l led at her house to leave her a copy of the latestproduct ion of h is Strawberry H il l Press he went away withou t wa i t ing to see her, and other Similar compla ints ; and

i n Wa lpole ’s letters to h is other correspondents we find , i nplace of the customary raptures of the devoted knight

errant , a gradual ly increasing sense of her Ladyship’s fol l ies

and absurdit ies .In July , 1773 , she started on another foreign tour, and

rema ined abroad unti l J une of the following year . Accordingto Mrs . De lany

,her Ladyship had resolved to make up for

the disgrace ”of be ing refused admittance to Maria

Theresa ’ s Court by paying her homage to Frederick the

Great . But Frederick had heard of her as a misch ief-maker ,and when she came to Berl in h e went Off to Potsdam on

purpose to avoid her. She fol lowed him thither ; and , if

we are to be l ieve Mrs. De lany and Lady Lou i sa Stuart , the

redoubtable conqueror was obl iged to resort to all sort s of

undignified shifts in order to avoid a rencontrewith her Lady

ship . Mrs . De lany goes on to al lege that Lady Mary noton ly left Prussia i n great indignat ion , but , be ing piqued toth e qu ick , first sent a note to the King saying She h ad

hitherto had the highest admirat ion for him , but had now

discovered that , a lthough he might be equa l to any of the

ancient heroes i n most respects, he“ fel l short of them in

civility . But subsequently Mrs . De lany had to correctherse lf and expla in that i t was a verba l message , and nota note, to this effect that Lady Mary left behind her ; so

64


that, after all, the Prussian monarch’s withers were probably

unwrung , for, as Mrs . De lany truly Observes, i t is not veryl ikely that anybody about the Court would be bold enoughto del iver such a message . B ut Lady Mary afterwards contrived to make capita l even out of this rebuff, for she gaveher friends to understand that Frederick th e Great wouldnever have taken so much trouble to avoid meet ing her h adshe not been cons idered a person of high pol it ica l importance .

After this she extended her tour to I ta ly, and towards theend of November Wa lpole informed S ir Horace Mann that

two Engl ish people above the common standard were aboutto visit h im at Florence , one be ing that great Indian Verresor Alexander ” Lord Clive , and the other Lady Mary Coke .

Concerning the latter, he says

S he was much a friend of mine , but a late marriage ! the Duke ofG loucester ’s marriage to Wa lpole ’s niece , Lady W

’

aldegrave]“which

she particularly disapproved , having flattered herself with the hopes ofone just a step higher ! tha t is with th e Duke of York], has a l ittlecooled our friendship . In short , though sh e is so greatly born , sh e h asa phrenzy for Roya lty , and will fall in love with, and a t the feet of, thegrea t Duke and Duchess, especially the former, for next to be ing an

Empress herself, sh e adores the Empress -Queen , or did— for perhapstha t pass ion , not be ing quite reciproca l , m ay have waned . However,bating every English person ’s madness , Lady Mary h as a thousandgood qualities . She is noble , generous, high -spirited , undauntable ; ismost friendly, s incere , affectiona te , and above any mean action . Sh e

loves a ttention, and I wish you to pay it , even for my sake , for I would

do anything to serve her . I have often tried to laugh h er out of herweakness ; but as she is very serious, she was so in tha t , and if all theSovere igns in Europe combined to sl ight her , She still wou ld pu t hertrust in th e next genera tion of Princes . H er heart is e xcellent anddeserves , and would become , a crown , and that is the best of all reasonsfor desiring one .

”

Mann appears to have done h is best to comply withWa lpole ’

s wishes, and to Show the lady every attention in

h is power ; but after her Prussian experience She was in no

very conci l iatory mood, and everything went wrong . Of

course Mann expressed his regret to Wa lpole ; and th is drew

65 F


from the latter another letter of st i l l not unkindly comment

on Lady Mary’s character. Writing on December 3oth

1773 , he says

Oh my dear S ir, you need not make any apologies about the lady ,who is so angry with your tribunals, and a l ittle with you . I f you have

yet rece ived th e letter I wrote to you concerning her some time ago , you

will have seen tha t I cannot be surprised at wha t h as happened . I t is avery good heart , with a head singularly awry in short , an extraordinarycharacter even in this soil of phenomena . Though a grea t lady, sh eh a s a rage for grea t personages , and for being one of them herself ; andwith these pretensions , and profound gravity, has made herselfridiculous at home , and delighted de prom ener sa folie sonr tont l

’

E nrope.

H er perseverance and courage are insurmountable , as Sh e showed inh er conduct with her husband and h is father, in which contest sh e gotthe better . H er virtue is unimpeachable , h er friendship violent , h eranger deaf to remonstrance . She h as cried for forty people , and

quarrelled with four hundred . As h er understanding is not so perfectas h er good qual ities , she is not a lways in th e r ight , nor skilful inmaking a retreat . I endeavoured to j oke h er out of her heroineerrantry, bu t i t was not we ll taken . As sh e does th e strangest thingsupon the most serious considera tion , She had no notion that h ermeasures were not prudent and important ; and therefore commonsense , not de l ivered a s an ora cle

,only struck h er as ludicrous . This

offence , and the success of my niece in a step equally ind iscreet , has al ittle cooled our intimacy but as I know h er intrinsic worth , and va lueit , I beg you will only smile at h er pouting, and assist h er as much as

you can. Sh e might be happy and respected, b ut will a lways bemiserable, from th e vanity of h er views , and h er passion for the extraordinary . Sh e idolized the Empress -Queen , who did not correspondwith equal sentiments. The King of Prussia ,

with more femininemalice , would not indulge h er even with a sight of him ; h er nonreception at Parma is of th e same stuff ; and I am amazed tha t thel ittleness Sh e has seen in so many Sovere igns ha s not cured h er ofRoya l admira tions . These Solomons de light to Sit to a maker of waxwork , and to have the ir effigies exhibited round Europe , and yet lockthemselves up in the ir closets when a Queen of Sheba comes to stareat their wisdom .

”

Towards the end of the let ter he returns to the subj ect ,and adds

H er disposit ion will a lways ra ise storms , and you m ay be involvedin them as innocently as you have been . I expected to hear of h er insome strange fracas at Rome and as there is another Archduchess at

66

A GRANDE DAME—ALADY MARY COKE

Naples, wha tever vision she is disappointed in will be la id to theimplacability of Juno Maria Theresa]. F or yourself , however,you m ay be easy, for nobody here sees Lady Mary ’s disasters in a

serious l ight .”

Poor Mann had to put up with her Ladyship ’s vagaries forwe l l n igh three months , and was occasiona l ly compel led tore l ieve his fee l ings in a letter to Wa lpole . Answering one

of these on February 2nd , 1774 , the latter remarks that theScotch princess ” puts him in mind of Lord Fane , whokept h is bed six weeks because the Duke of Newcastle hadended one of his letters simply Your humble servantinstead of signing , as usua l ,

“ Your very humble servantand on the 23 rd of the same month he writes a letter of

congratulat ion , in which he says

I am heartily glad you are rid of the posthumous Duchess.

She is got to Turin , and will be at home in about two months.

Seriously, I apprehend tha t she is litera lly m ad . Her late visionspa ss pride and folly . The world here is seriously disposed to laughat h er ; and by a letter that is already come from h er to PrincessAmel ia , she does not at a ll mean to keep h er imaginary persecutionssecretfi

’

Even after h e had got rid of her, however, Lady Maryfound cause for compla int aga inst him , for after her arriva l

a t Turin she tel l s her sister that , a lthough sh e has had threeletters from S ir Horace Mann , he has not once inqu i red

about the behaviour of a person he recommended to trave lwith her from Florence , a lthough thi s person (as such persons

who served Lady Mary, according to her account, a lmost

invariably were) proved as grea t a villa i n as could possibly

be .

” And she adds , I bel ieve I ’ve a lready hinted that Mr .

Wa lpole is no longer my friend .

” No more letters appear tohave passed between them ; and soon after h er return toEngland in June , 1774 , after meet ing him at Lady Blandford ’ s , she remarks, I ’m better pleased that h e has ceasedmaking professions of friendship . When he professed most he

was a bitter enemy .

” A little later she unbent so far as to

send him a haunch from a buck that had been presented to

67


her by Lord Bute , magnan imously observing that“ when

anybody makes advances she is ready to accept of them .

But in th e fol lowing year, when they both happened to be inParis at the same t ime , h e gave her such grievous Offencethat , a l though they continued to meet at th e PrincessAme l ia ’ s and elsewhere , they were never on anything butterms of distant civi l i ty ever a fterwards . Wha t caused the

split does not appear e ither in Lady Mary ’s journa l or inWa lpole ’ s correspondence ; but , according to Lady Louisa

Stuart , he once gave a verba l account of the affa i r whichShowed that the offence , l ike so many others , existed only inLady Mary ’s imagination . S he had been indiscreet enough ,i t appears, to abuse Maria Theresa in the Court of h er

daughter, Marie Antoinette , and had thus drawn upon h erse l f a we l l -merited rebuff from th e French queen . Consequently, of course , Sh e must Shake the dust of France from

h er fee t and return instantly to England . About five o ’c lock

one morning , Wa lpole is reported to have sa id , sh e came to

h is apartments and had him roused from sleep . H e dressedhurriedly and came down to her, thinking that , of course ,some dire ca lamity must have happened . When he heard ,therefore , that her on ly trouble was that Lady Barrymore

had enticed away her confidentia l courier and factotum, h e

fe lt so rel ieved that he inadvertently excla imed , I s that

al l — a natura l and innocent remark which sent Lady Maryinto a fury . H e then begged her to compose herse lf, and

promised to look out for another courier for h er ; but th isonly made matters worse , for she went on to expla in excitedlytha t Lady Barrymore was on ly a tool in the hands of th e

Queen of France , who was evidently executing the com

mands of her mother , the Empress of Germany, and that

th e wil ing away of her fa ithfu l courier evidently meantthat these implacable enemies were conspiring together tohave h er assassinated during her j ourney between Pari s andCa la is ! Because Wa lpole was unable to see the matter

from this point of view, he was“ fa lse,

”and henceforth to

68


F ew people cou ld be induced to read steadily through such a

prodigious chronicle Of “sma l l beer,

”especia l ly when un

re l ieved by any gleam of wit or grace of style . Th e presentwriter, at any rate

,makes no pretence of having done so .

But a l i tt le j udicious dipping and the u se of the admirableindex have sufficed to Show that the conception of LadyMary ’ s character to be obta ined from the wri t ings of her

friend Horace Wa lpole and her niece , Lady Lou isa S tuart ,wou ld not be materia l ly a ltered by the reading of a dozen

volumes of her own j ourna ls .From 1749 , when she was separated from her husband ,

unti l 1764 , Lady Mary l ived with h er mother at Sudbrook ,near R ichmond , a lthough for part of that t ime she had a

house at Windsor a lso , to which she repa ired on occasion .

When Duchess Jane died , h er daughter’s fortune was

increased by about and shortly afterwards (in1767) she bought a vil la at Nott ing H il l , which rema i nedher principa l place of abode for over twenty years . The

garden of her house , in which she took grea t del ight and did

much work with her own hands, great ly to th e advantage of

h er health and vigour, was separated from th e grounds ofHolland House by the narrow lane which st il l skirts theeastern Side of that ce lebrated pa lat ia l doma in ; and her

meadows ( long since bu i lt over, of course), wherein sh e keptcows and pou ltry, stretched down to the Bayswater Road .

In h er garden was a pond , plentiful ly stocked with gold and

S i lver fish , which , strange to re late , sh e somet imes catched

and ate at dinner, finding them very good, She says, and

without many bones. From 1763 to 1775 she had a townhouse a lso , which she rented from Lady Bateman , overlooking the Green Park , and for a short t ime afterwards onein Berkeley Square , and then one in Mount Street . In 1788

Sh e gave up her Nott ing H ill vi l la in favou r of a house at

Chelsea , which was a lmost as countrified , though muchnearer to town ; and in 1808

, four years before her death ,sh e gave this up in its turn in favour of an old mansion ,


with a high -wa l led garden , adj oining that of the Duke of

Devonshire at Chiswick .

From the t ime of her reappearance after her husband ’sdeath , i n 1754 , when She was seven or e ight and twenty yearsof age , unti l her death , at the age of e ighty-five, in 18 1 1 , LadyMary was a conspicuous figure in London society . F or

twenty-seven years of that t ime she was a constant sate l l iteof the Princess Amel ia , who used to say that one SO greatlyborn ” would a lways be we lcome at her table provided she

would be a l itt le less contradictory and a l itt le less ostentatious of her great abil ity towards others whom She imaginedto be so in tel lectua l ly inferior . Horace Wa lpole reports ina letter to the Countess of Ossory , dated J anuary 29th , 1780 ,that the Princess had told her guests a night or two before

an exce l lent story about Lady Mary. The Princess , itappears, was in the habit Of dining once a week at LadyHolderness’s, with only the sma l l party necessary for theeven i ng loo . Lady Mary wished to have the honour Ofenterta in ing her Roya l H ighness i n sim i lar fashion , and the

Princess consented,only stipu lating that it should be a very

sma l l dinner . She found a banquet , says Walpole .

As sh e sat down , th e groom of the chambers presented to h er , asshe thought , an empty gilt sa lver— for what purpose sh e could notguess but on it lay (what sh e had not seen , be ing so purblind) twogo ld pins to pin her napkins, as is h er way . Still she did not perce ivethey were of gold ; and after dinner flung them away ; when to theeterna l disgrace of magnificence , Lady Mary retired to hunt for h erpins.

”

Very soon after th is , however, she quarre l led irreconcilablyeven with the indu lgent Princess . Besides be ing a fanat ica ladmirer of roya lty, Lady Mary was a devout Churchwomanand an inveterate gambler. On page after page of h er

j ourna l m ay be read such entries as Played at Lu ; won

e leven guineas , and did not come home t i l l near twe lve

o ’clock . Read three chapters in Reve lat ions,”

or I

was glad to set down to Lu . I won Six and a ha lf gu ineas,

71


came home, read three chapters in the Bible , and to bed ,or

“ To Lady Harrington ’s , and was set down to Lu withthe ,Duchess of Hamilton . Lost ten gu ineas, and did not

get home t i l l ha lf after e leven . Read in the Bible and wentto bed .

” But the Bible-reading apparently did not enableh er to curb h er violent temper when she lost at 100 , evenin the presence of roya lty, which She reverenced as muchas, i f not more than , she did the Bible and one day, whenShe had lost at the card - table , she made some offens iveobservat ion abou t the Princess ’s play. She was given morethan one opportun ity to withdraw

,but decl ined to do so,

whereupon h er Roya l H ighness cal led to the page in wa it ingto order Lady Mary Coke ’s carriage and wished her Ladyshiphea lth and happiness for the future, but for the presentGood-morning ! ” She was then bowed ou t , and they

never m et aga in . Soon after this sh e made another expedit ion to th e Continent , which , l ike some former ones

, was

unsuccessful . Wa lpole reports to Lady Ossory that

Lady Mary Coke has h ad an hundred distresses abroad , that do notwe igh a s ilver penny a ltogether. Sh e is like Don Quixote , who went insearch of adventures, and when h e found none imagined them . She

went to Brussels , to see th e Archduchess , but e ither sh e had bad

intelligence , or th e Archduchess very good, for sh e was gone whenLady Mary arrived ; so was the packet -boat at Ostend ,! which sh e

be lieves was sent away on purpose , by a codicil in the EmpressQueen ’s will .

H er fear of plots aga inst her, due to the enmity of MariaTheresa , survived for a long t ime . I f one of her ma ids,irri tated by the mistress ’s i l l - temper, showed

“ insolence ” inreturn , the woman was act ing in th e interests of MariaTheresa . Sh e once went to an auction in her neighbourhood and bid for a second -hand chest of drawers . The

art icle was worth twenty Sh i l l ings, perhaps, but when thebrokers present saw a magn ificently att ired lady bidding , ofcourse they ran th e price up to a ridicu lous figure , and a lsoconvinced her tha t they must be emissaries from MariaTheresa . When she l ost some pearls , and thought she had

72


been robbed , though the sa id pearls a ll the while were Safein a box in Coutts’s Bank , She imagined that some agentof Maria Theresa ’

s had obta ined access to h er house at

Notting Hill . S he perpetua l ly changed her tradesmenand her Servants for suspected complicity in some sim i larImperia l plot , unti l so difficu lt was i t for h er to get

domestics that her house was fi l led , says Lady LouisaStuart , with a set of ragam u ffins whose characters were SO

bad that they could get no other place . S he even seemedto bel ieve that the rheumat ic pa ins i n h er arm and shoulderhad been caused , at least indirect ly , by the Empress-Queen ;for it was Maria Theresa , she declared , who had inst igatedher post - boys to drive her into a river near Milan, where she

sat for some t ime up to her knees in cold water, and wouldin all probabil ity have been drowned had i t not been for her

fa i thful courier, who rode up to the post -boys, pistol in hand ,and forced them to get the horses ou t of the stream . Allthis, of course , enhanced her a lready abnorma l sense of her

own great im portance , and also made her the laughingstock of London .

She concerned herself very much about polit ica l affa irs ,which were se ldom to her l iking , for while the Opposit ion ,of course , was a lways in the wrong, the measures of the

Government rare ly m et with her entire approbat ion . The

fashions a lso degenerated abominably. She was devotedto the hoops and sacks of h er younger days, and Sh e thoughtit nothing short of insanity when people took to wearingwhite l inen , or ostrich feathers

,or other things which she

denominated fantastic nove lt ies . H er own dress was a lwayspecu l iar and consp icuous, one of h er longest - last ing fanciesbeing for pea -green and si lver . In Decem ber, 1782 , whenShe was verging on sixty years of age , Lady Lou isa Stuart ,i n one of her letters, describes

“ poor Aunt Mary ”as

harangu ing in the bookse l lers ’ Shops , lecturing the tradesm en

, examin ing the wa l ls for treason , threatening the“ democrats ” with the Mayor, etc. ,

“and all in a riding

73


habit of the King ’ s dressed uniform,shin ing with so

'

much

gold , I am amazed the boys do not fol low h er. I f there

happened to be any idle boys about Notting H il l one Julyday i n the previous year, they m ay have h ad an extra treat ,for Lady Mary, while disport ing herse lf in a riding-dress ofred and si lver, ignomin iously fe l l into a wayside ditch . A

couple of years later we hear of h er dr iving up to her niece’ s

door i n a cha ise with a magnificent red and si lver posti l ion ,and ou t Of it j umped Queen Mary, as magn ificent in green

and S i lver .” Roya l and noble m e’

salliances continued to give

her great d istress. Th e connect ion of th e Prince ofWa les

with Mrs. Fitzherbert in 1786 set her raving ; and i nDecember, 1800 ,

when Lady Hamilton , recently returned

from Naples with Lord Ne lson , was introduced into London

society, she launched out in to a phil ippic of such vehemenceand volubil ity at Lady Lonsda le ’s one day that a new

footman , coming into the room with coa l s , set down the

scutt le and stared at the lady as if he rea l ly be l ieved her tobe a raving lunat ic ; which made so comica l a picture that .

his mistress could scarcely restra in herself from laughinga loud . At the age of seventy - seven her wonderfu l vita l ityshowed s igns of fa i lure ; She had out l ived the last of h er oldfriends , and began to look thin and wretched. In the

following year her n iece described her as so tottering and

decrepit that no one cou ld be sorry when the end cam e.

But in 1807 sh e revived aga in , and Lady Lou isa writes ofh er as

“rea lly a most astonishing woman to be e ighty -two ; still as violent

and absurd a s ever ; all h er faculties , and h er senses, and h er nonsense ,just th e same I have long looked for th e t ime when sh e shouldbecome , as W i lkes said of himself an ‘

extinct volcano ,’

but I believe shewill blaze on to the very last .”

In 1808 She bought the house at Chiswick whose wal led - in

grounds adj oined those of the Duke of Devonsh ire . The

mansion , which had a handsome oak sta ircase and pa intedwal ls, h ad been bu i l t by S i r Stephen F ox , the founder of the

74


Holland and I lchester famil ies , and King Will iam th e Thirdhad been so pleased with i t as to say h e cou ld pass a weekthere with pleasure . But , according to Lord Gower, LadyMary l ived in a very uncomfortable fashion in two of it ssma l lest rooms, and died there in a smal l tent bed , ha l f sunkin a recess

,which must have been as difficu l t to get i n and

ou t of as if it had been a chest of drawers ! Charles Kirkpatrick Sharpe, S ir Wa lter Scott ’s friend, writ ing to LordGower on October 15 th , 18 1 1 , says

Lady Mary Coke is dead at last,and has left all h er money to the

Buccleugh family and Lady D ouglas . Not a sous to the Argylls , whichvexes m e on poor Lady Charlotte ’

s account . Lady Queensberry tellsm e tha t Lady Mary died with a high crowned h at upon h er head , tho

’

in bed— l ike Cleopatra crowned ‘ Proud Egypt ’s prouder Queen .

’

As

Lord Seafield sa id of the Scottish Parl iament a t the Union , ‘ here ’s theend of an auld sang.

’Sh e was th e daughter of a sad , robust villa in ,

and in character as like her father as Christina of Sweden was to hers .

Only think Of Lord Orford Horace Walpole] be ing in love withsuch a harpy !

Sharpe evidently had more to say about her, and had gone

on to add that “she was vulgar : she sa id ‘ this here ’

and‘ that there ,

’ which was extraordinary, as sh e must a lways

have been in the best c ircles of society ’

; but just at this

moment the post ca l led, and he was obl iged to break Off,

depriving u s, doubtless , of further interest ing deta i ls and

caust ic comments. The Duchess of Buccleuch , writ ing toLady Douglas immediately after the event , bears out Lord

Gower’s account of the discomfort in which Lady Mary musthave spent h er latter days . I t was impossible , she sa id , todescribe the dirt and confusion she found in the house : a ll

the drawers ful l of l itter ; quant it ies of use less bills, notes,and letters ; a few coins here and there , a few bank notesin one place , a few in another ; papers, wax candles , pins,tea , sugar, and all sorts of rubbish , jumbled together indiscrim inately .

Horace Wa lpole , who knew Lady Mary from her youth

up , and Lady Lou isa Stuart , whose observat ion was l imited

75


to that of a young niece on an elderly aunt , both formed muchthe same est imate of her character. Sh e was not a Si l lywoman ; on the contrary , she was genera l ly admitted to be

clever. She was honourable , generous, high -spirited , sincere ,affect ionate , and above any mean action . H er virtue wasunimpeachable, a commendat ion which , unhappi ly , it wou ldbe impossible to bestow on many of h er highly placed con

temporaries . But she had l itt le j udgment and so muchvan ity, sel f-conce it , prej udice , obst inacy , and violence of

temper that she was a lways putting herself in the wrong.

S he had many warm friendships ; but most of them were too

warm , and were very apt to be fanned by some fancied sl ightinto not merely warm , but burning , resentments . Sh e had

a very exaggerated not ion of her own importance , which ,together with h er phrenzy for roya l ty

”and the lamentable

lack Of a sense of humour, made her supreme ly ridicu lous .

Wa lpole, in the end , was forced to the conclusion that Shehad become rea l ly m ad . Lady Lou isa , however, wil l not

hear of this, and declares that there was not the least traceof insanity in her composit ion

,but that sh e was an extra

ordinary “ character,”a unique specimen , as interest ing to

th e psychologist as some rare plant wou ld be to a botan ist ;in Short , that she was an eccentric of the first water .

S I R H ENRY BATE DUDLEY .

Af ter Ga m sborozeg/z

A J OURNAL ISTIC PARSON —S IR HENRY

BATE -D UDLE Y, BART

A JOURNALI ST IC PARSON— S I R HENRY BATE

DUDLEY , BART .

THERE were many good parsons in th e Church of Englandduring th e Georgian era , as there have been at a ll t imes .

Th e reader wil l probably have l itt le difficulty in cal l ing to

mind such names as those of pious John Newton , Cowper’

s

friend ; of George Crabbe , the poet ; of G i lbert White , thetranqu i l na tura l i st of Selborne of Dr. Samue l Parr, th e most

learned m an of his age ofWilliam Pa ley, th e mora l ph iloso

pher ; and of other em inent , though not a lways highly placed ,ornaments of their sacred profession . And we need not doubtthat in obscure vil lages in every part Of th e country therewere to be found good , pious , Simple -minded clergymen whomight we l l have sat for Goldsmith ’s portra it of the amiablevicar of Wakefield . But during that era there appears tohave been a considerable proport ion of black sheep amongst

the flock,or rather, to mend the metaphor, a considerable

proport ion of blackamoor shepherds, whose spiritua l skins themost ardent advocate could never wash into any semblance

of white . In many country vi llages the church bu i ld ingswere a l lowed to fa l l i nto decay ; and th e incumbent

,who

l ived an idle , if not a dissolute , l ife in London , or Bath , orTunbridge We l ls, made on ly an occa siona l appearance in h isparish , when h e wou ld stand up in a dirty surpl ice to preach

a perfunctory fi fteen minutes ’ sermon to a meagre and practi

ca l ly unknown congregat ion . In some agricultura l districtsservices were he ld in the church

'

not oftener than once a

month . And even when there was a resident curate- in-charge

79


matters were somet imes not much better, for many of thesel ived, to put it mildly, as free and easy a l ife as the coarsestof their bucol ic parish ioners , and spent much time whichshou ld have been otherwise employed in smoking and drinking punch with the landlord of the village inn . Livings wereOpenly bought and sold , and an advert isement might occasiona lly be seen in which a pastor unblushingly sought fora curacy in a good sport ing country where the duty is l ight

and the ne ighbourhood convivia l .” A hunt ing parson hasbeen known to perform divine service with scarlet coat andtop -boots under his surplice ; and i t is on record that oneSunday in a church near the South Downs the clerk gaveou t notice that there wou ld be no service that eveningbecause the parson was going off to Lewes to be in t ime for

th e races next day. Such things were so much a matter of

course that , as a rule , nobody thought of compla ining, but i tSO happens that on this occasion an aggrieved pari sh ioner

promptly went to the bishop to acqua int h im with this breach

of clerica l duty . Why is he in such a hurry to get toLewes ? inqu ired th e b ishop . The scanda l ised parishionerdec lared with a Shocked expression that th e parson was

actua l ly going to ride in one of the races . Then,

”rej oined

the right reverend father in God,“ I ’ l l bet you two to one he

wins ! ” And there were even more scanda lous specimen sthan these . Alexander Knox , himse l f a clergyman , makes

the fol lowing admission in one Of h is Essays

I am sorry to be obliged to confess that the serious part of mankindhave long h ad just reason to express the ir abhorrence a t the frequentoccurrence of the professed clerica l libertine .

” And aga in , “ Th e

publi c have long remarked with indigna tion tha t some of the mostdi stingu ished coxcombs , drunkards, debauchees , and gamesters whofigure at the watering- places and all places of public resort , are youngm en of the sacerdota l order.

”

At the same t ime i t m ay be wel l to bear in mind that blackSheep are not a lways quite so black as they are apt to be

pa inted . At any rate, this is so in the case of the Rev.

80

S IR HENRY BATE-DUDLEY , BART .

Henry Bate , afterwards S ir Henry Bate -Dudley , Bart . , whosetradit iona l reputat ion as a mere bru iser, debauchee , and

sham eless purveyor of scurri lous l ibels will bear a good dea l

of emendat ion .

Henry Bate , the father of the young m an who became

known to fame as“the fighting parson ,

”appears to have

been a highly respectable clergyman , who came of an O ld

and opulent Worcestershire family . Fo r some years he he ld

the l iving of St . N icholas i n the city of Worcester, where

a lso he kept a school , which was attended by the sons of theprincipa l nobil ity and gentry of the neighbourhood . Like

the vicar of Wakefield , h e had h is qu iver full ; ,and we learn

from a qua int ly worded contemporary record that his son

Henry, who first saw the l ight in 1745 , was the second of

twe lve children who were borne to h is father i n wedlock .

”

In due . course young Henry was sent to Oxford , where , we

are assured , he was part icu larly assiduous in his studies, whichof course m ay be true notwithstanding the s ignificant fact

that he left the University without taking any degree . From

an i ncidenta l remark in a letter of h is in the Morning Post,

in which he speaks of having been in the army,it would

appear that when he left Oxford h is father bought him a

commission . But h e cannot have been a soldier for any

length of t ime . In 1763 Lord Camden , then Lord Chance l lor,presented the e lder Bate , with whom h e was very int imate

,

to the rectory of North Fambridge, i n Essex , where , unfortunately, both the rector and h is wife died a very few years

after. Whether young Henry was in the army or not at tha tt ime does not appear, but anyhow h e promptly took orders,and was soon instal led by th e Lord Chancel lor i n the rectoryof Fam bridge in succession to h is father. H e i s sa id to havedevoted the whole of the revenues of his cure to the ma intenance ofh is numerous brothers and s isters, and to have gone off

to London determined to make a fortune by h is pen. Presum

ably some poorly pa id curate was left to attend to the spiritua lneeds of the parishioners of North Fambridge in the meantime .

N.D . 8 1


When we next hear of the young m an h e i s describedas curate to the Rev . James Townley, vicar of Hendon , inM iddlesex . Th e l iving of H endon was in th e gift of DavidGarrick , who presented Townley to it in 1772 consequentlyyoung Bate must have been at this t ime at least twenty -S ixyears ofage . Townley is remembered as the au thor ofa popularfarce cal led H igh Life below Stairs .” H e was bel ieved tohave assisted Garrick in the composit ion of severa l of h isplays ; and he a lso assisted another famous friend , Will iamHogarth in the composit ion of that pa inter ’s “ Ana lysis of

Beauty . H e was a friend of the wits,who admired his

facil ity in impromptu epigram ; and he was a lso a popularpreacher, having the i nva luable gift of adapting his remarks

to h is auditory . I t is probable that he introduced his curateto Garrick at any rate , no long t ime afterwardswe find Bate

on friendly terms with th e great actor, as he afterwardsbecame with Cumberland and Colman and a ll the actorsand playwrights of the day. Presumably he was at this t ime

engaged in winning his spurs as a j ourna l i st ; but what firstbrought him prominently before th e public was a fracas inVauxhal l Gardens in the summer of 1773 . The Morning

Chronicle of Ju ly 27th conta ined an account of this affray,which had occurred on the previou s Friday n ight ; but i nconsequence of this account be ing inaccurate , or at least

imperfect , Bate himself gave fu l l part icu lars of what hadhappened in a Signed commun icat ion to the Morning P ost of

th e succeeding Friday. Both the Post and the other paperswere fu ll of letters , and j okes, and verses, and squ ibs on th esubj ect for a month or more ; but , as nobody made any

materia l correct ion of Bate ’ s narrat ive , we m ay in the ma insafe ly fol low h is own account of th e matter.

Be ing at Vauxha l l on the previous Friday evening , hehappened to see Mrs . Hartley, with whom he was acquainted ,seated on a bench near the orchestra i n company with Mr .

Hartley , Mr . Colman , and Mr. Tateham . Mrs . Hartley, i t

m ay be necessary to interpolate , was a young and remarkably

82


certa in ly not . as h e did not recol lect to have seen h im i n the

part y . Not sat isfied w ith this answ er. Crofts persisted inasking whether the other had ca l led h im a pupp y . Bate.

answ ered as before , but added that i f h is quest ioner wou ldsay that he was one of th e part y , then the remark wouldapply t o h im , for what he had said , and what he repeated ,was that the party Of gentlemen who so meanly and

scanda lousl y distressed the lady w i th whom he was i ncompan y were “ four dirt y , impert inent puppies .

" Thereupon the Capta in surve y ed the parson from head to foot ,and observed supercil iousl y , You are indeed a good t ightfel low , and therefore , I suppose ,

mean to int imidate m e

because y ou are a boxer. W’

hy h e should have made such

a remark is not very clear, because , according to all the

accounts, they were strangers to one another. Perhaps hej um ped to tha t conclusion from his survey of the parson ’sphysique , for, as Henry Angelo inform s us, Ba te was thenas magnificent a p iece of humanit y , perhaps , as ever wa lked

arm in arm w ith a fashionable beauty in the i l luminated

groves of Vauxha l l . However that m ay be , Bate repl iedthat box ing was by no means h is intent ion , and proceeded towa lk on ; but when the other cont inued to follow and makeremarks, he turned round and declared that if three moreimpert inent words w ere addressed to him he wou ld wringCrofts ’ nose off his face . On this the Capta i n asked him

for h is name and address, which were instantly given . Batethen drew off to h is company, imagin ing tha t the affa irwould

, at least , stand peaceably over t i l l the morrow.

H e and h is company proposed to leave the Gardensimmediate ly , but were obliged to walk round first in searchof one of their number who was missing . When at the

further end of the promenade they m et with their former

assa i lants , re inforced by severa l others , when a fresh a ttack

instant ly began , insolence to the lady be ing accompan ied by“ Tw ig the curate ! ” and other pleasantries level led at her

protector. Submitt ing to th is , he says , as long as human

84

S IR HENRY BATE -DUDLEY , BART .

nature cou ld endure i t , at last h e stopped Short , with theintention of knocking down the first m an who made anotherinsulting rem ark . Then Capta in Crofts stepped up , touchedhim on the shoulder, and addressing him by nam e , begged toSpeak another word w ith him . H e had forgotten Mr. Bate’saddress, he expla ined , and w as under the necessi ty of askingfor it aga in . I t was immediate ly repeated , but Bate recom

mended Crofts to get pen and ink from one of the wa itersand write i t down

,that he might not forget it aga in .

While this was be ing done ,w rites Bate , a l itt le effeminate

be ing , whom I afterwards found to be a Mr. Fitz-Gerral ,cam e up to m e, dressed a la Macaroni , and impert inentlyasked whether any m an had not a right to look at a fine

woman . The m an thus contemptuously described by Bate ,it m ay be remarked parenthet ica l ly, was Robert Fitzgera ld ,stil l rem embered as fighting Fitzgera ld,

”the ce lebra ted

due ll ist . After gett ing over h is surprise at th is unwarrantedinterference of a m an who was not present at the dispute,Bate replied that he wou ld even go so far as to despise them an who did not look at a fine wom an ; but he begged leaveto observe that there was more than one way of looking ather, and that the persons whom he had censured had lookedat her in such a way that , he repeated once more , they were

four dirty, impert inent puppies .” After the exchange of a

few more c iv il it ies of this kind , Mr. Fitzgerald , in h is anger,clapped h is hand to h is sword , as though he were going to

draw on an unarmed m an, when he was interrupted byCapta in Crofts, who observed that he presumed Bate to be a

clergyman . Rece iving an answer in the affirmat ive , he sa id ,Perhaps you wil l take advantage of your profession , and

not give m e the satisfaction I Sha l l demand H e was toldin reply that the other would never ava i l h imself of that todo anything derogatory to the character of a gentleman .

By this t ime a crowd had gathered round , and Fitzgera ldthought to Score a point by becoming very facet ious on thesubj ect of parsons, whereto Bate reta l iated by making fun

85


of the dress and appearance of a Macaroni . Then th e crowdwanted to know the cause of the dispute , and, of course ,gave the parson th e advantage , for in a short Speech of a fewsentences he was able to convince them tha t h is opponents

were entire ly in the wrong ; whereupon they were hooted

and hust led out of th e way, while Bate with h is companytook coach and returned to town .

This , however, was only the end of the first act of thecomedy , for in the M orning Post of the fol lowing day Batewent on to tel l what had happened afterwards . About twoo ’clock of the morning fol lowing th is affray Bate’s servanthad wakened him to read a letter which had j ust come by a

specia l messenger having the appearance of a tavern wa iter,whose instructions were to carry back an answer . The

letter was from Capta in Crofts, demanding sat isfaction and ,presuming that h is fists were the only weapons a reverend

gentleman would fight with , request ing him to name there

and then h is own place and t ime for a boxing bout . I frefused this sat isfact ion , the Capta in genia l ly declared h ewou ld hunt the parson up and down London ti l l he foundhim , and then wou ld pu l l h is nose, and spit in h is face , andpull the b lack coat off his back . Thus cha l lenged , whileon ly hal f awake , Bate sent back word immediate ly that hewas qu ite prepared to meet Capta in Crofts in h is rooms atClifford ’s Inn at a specified hour that day ; but later on hechanged h is mind and sent another me ssage to say that ,accompanied by a friend , he wou ld awa i t Capta in Croftsfrom two to four o ’clock at the Turk ’ s Head ” coffee -housein the S trand . Capta in Crofts , attended by hi s friend theHon . Mr . Lytte l ton , du ly arrived ; and after a good dea l of

parleying the boxi ng bout was abandoned , pisto ls wereprovided , and the party made ready for a jaunt to R ichmondPark .

Just as they were about to leave the place for this purposeFitzgera ld suddenly broke in to th e room

, and , in an insolent

tone of voice , demanded sat i sfaction in the name of his

86


boxing th e parson . Ba te urged that he was not in the

habit of boxing with gentlemen , whereupon he was informed

that if h e did not box there and then M iles wou ld bea t h im

at Vauxha l l or in any other publ ic place where they might

chance to meet . Bate being thus forced into th e distastefu l

encounter, the party adj ourned to a large room in the

Spread Eagle tavern , where both the champions stripped

and set to . Then , however, to the surprise of everybody,the parson , though considerably the sma ller m an

,did not

rece ive a single blow of any consequence , while in abou tfifteen minutes the hercu lean Miles was clean knocked ou t,

and had to be removed in a hackney coach , with his face

beaten into a j e l ly . I t afterwards turned out (and Fitzgera ld admitted it) that the so-ca l led Capt . Miles was

a grea t hu lk ing pugil ist ic servant of h is, whom he had

dressed up as a gentleman for the purpose , and that theprevious appointment with Crofts and the patch ing up Of

that quarre l were part of a conspiracy to get the parsonsafe ly chast ised by proxy .

S imi lar affrays were by no means uncommon in thosedays . Henry Ange lo tel ls u s that Vauxha l l was then morel ike a bear-garden than a place of rationa l amusement . Th e

price of admiss ion was one sh il l ing only, and the place was

crowded with a ll sorts and condit ions of m en and women,

citizens and the i r wives , apprent ices and girls of the town ,fine gent lemen and ladies, a ll be ing mingled together in oneheterogeneous mob . R ings were cont inua lly be ing made invarious parts of the Gardens to decide the quarre ls thatperpetua l ly arose ; and whenever there happened to be a lu l li n this species of sport , the l ight -fingered gentry did not fa i lto get up mock quarrel s of their own to afford opportunityfor the exercise of the ir profession . When Angelo came towrite h is Reminiscences,

” in 1828 , publ ic conduct was moredecorous ; and , l ike an O ld war-horse scenting the batt le , h edeplored the absence of such gloriou s kicks—up as he had

enj oyed in less insip id days .

88

S IR HENRY BATE -DUDLEY, BART .

Amongst his other ti t les to fame , the“ fighting parson

must be set down as one of the pioneers of modern j ourna lism .

The Morning Post was started in November, 1772 , as a riva l

(and i t very soon became a powerfu l rival) to the Morning

Chronicle, which had been founded three years previously .

N ine months later, at the t ime of the Vauxha l l affray , Batewas evidently a prominent member of the staff ; and h e had

probably been so from the first . In pol it ics the Post was,according to one of the latest historians of our Engl ishnewspaper press, a shame less organ of the King ’s party ,then pres ided over by Lord North ” ; and it speedily acquireda lso an evil reputat ion as a reta i ler of coarse socia l gossip .

But we must not j udge e ither i t or Bate by our present highstandard of j ourna l ism . Shameless organs of any partyare happily unknown in our t ime , and our polit ica l confl ictsin the press are a lways character ised by sweet reasonablenessand the most exquis ite courtesy. Bri l l iant and Sparkl ing

society intel l igence we have , indeed ; but anything whichcou ld be j ustly termed coarse socia l gossip has long ago

ceased to exist . Our modern papers furnish u s with adm ir

able free and dashing comment on the opinions and per

form ances of the m en and women of the hour, but the

imputat ion of unworthy mot ives, or the use of vulgar

Bill ingsgate , modern j ourna l ists would be ashamed to writeand modern editors to print . But there was a different

standard of publ ic taste , as of publ i c mora ls, in Bate’

s t ime ;and , l ike more recent pract it ioners of h is craft

,h e rea l ised

tha t the way to make a paper pay is to give the public wha ti t wants. John Taylor

,author of Monsieur Tonson and

a wel l -known misce l laneous writer of the t ime , te l ls u s thatbefore the Morning Post appeared newspapers were genera l lydu l l , heavy, and ins ipid , and that there was wha t he term s

a“ Sport ive severity ” in Ba te ’

s wri t ing which gave a new

character to th e publ ic press. Taylor admits that Bate wassomewhat too free and persona l i n h is strictures but he saysa lso that it ought to be remembered that those whom he

89

NOBLE DAMES AND NOTABLE MEN.

attacked were general ly characters of e i ther sex who hadrendered themselves conspicuous for folly , vice , or some

prominent absurdity by which they became proper subj ects forsat irica l an imadversion .

”One consequence of his sport ive

severity was that after he assumed its editorsh ip , in 1775 , thecircu la tion of the Morning Post went up by leaps and bounds .

But there were other consequences a lso , for h is style of

j ournal ism has certa in d isadvantages for its pract it ioners .

The modern editor has only to reckon with th e law of l ibe l ;h is Georgian predecessor had to be ready to fight due ls aswe l l. The first , though by no means the last , affa ir of th iskind in wh ich Bate was concerned occurred in January,1777 . Some paragraphs appeared in the Morning Post

reflect ing on th e character of the Countess of S trathmore ,whose conduct h ad been undoubtedly somewhat indiscreet .A bankrupt ha l f-pay l ieutenant named Stoney, who hada lready dissipated in riotous l iving a fortune which h e h adacqu ired from a deceased wife , was then paying h is addresses

to the Countess ; and he natura l ly took up the cudge ls inher beha lf. Ba te tried to smooth matters over by saying

that the paragraphs obj ected to were inserted withou t hisknowledge ; but this did not sat isfy S toney , who insi stedupon the discovery of th e author or the sat isfaction of a

gentleman .

” A few days after this,as the Gentlem an

’

s

Magazine reports , they m et , as i t were by accident ,” when

they adj ourned to th e Adelphi , ca lled for a room , shut the door,and

,being furnished with pistols, discharged them a t each other withou t

effe ct. They then drew swords, and Mr . Stoney rece ived a wound inthe breast and arm , and Mr . Ba te one in th e thigh . Mr. Bate’s swordbent , and Slanted aga inst th e Capta in ’ s breast -bone , which Mr. Ba teapprising h im of, Capta in Stoney called to him to stra ighten it and inthe interim ,

while th e sword was under his foot for that purpose , thedoor was broken open , or th e dea th of one of the parties would mostcerta inly have been the issue .

”

From the same authority we learn that five days afterwardsCapta in Stoney was married to the lady on whose behalf he

90

NOBLE DAMES AND NOTABLE MEN .

named Mil ls, who was a surgeon . AS soon as they reachedhome , and Mills had examined the wound he gave a highlycomica l exhibit ion of a mixed emotion . Don ’t be a larmed ,Joey ,

”h e excla imed this is only a five -gu inea j ob ! ” thus

Showing the j oy of friendship at R ichardson ’ s escape fromserious injury , mingled with the pleasure of the pro

fessional m an at the prospect of gett ing a substantial feeou t of him .

Th e on ly person that Bate can be sa id to have cha l lenged

was an Irish due l l ist of rather Shady character, namedBrereton . H e was one day expecting a cha llenge

, and be ingunprovided with arms, sent off to Brereton , with whom h e

h ad been acquainted for some t ime , to borrow his pistols .Brereton was de l ighted , and when he brought the weaponsexpat iated on the ir merit s with much enthusiasm . The

other party, however, did not proceed to extremities , and

Bate , therefore , took back the pistols unused . Brere ton wasgreatly enraged when he found that h is darl ing pistols hadbeen borrowed for nothing, and i n the heat of h is temperseemed incl ined to fasten a quarre l upon Bate . Th e moreconcil iatory the parson showed himself the more furiou s theIrishman became , unti l at last Bate qu ietly Observed , I see

what i t is you want ; I’ l l take this p istol — pick ing one of

them up you take the other, and we ’ l l settle the matterimmediately .

” Ah , excla imed the Iri shman ,“ I see you

are a m an of spiri t ; but, as you are an o ld friend let us

Shake hands and consider th e matter settled a lready . Thissame Brereton, by the way, came to a violent end someyears later in a Dublin tavern . H e was wa i t ing at the

bottom of a sta ircase, sword in hand , ready to a ttack a m an

whom he expected to descend unprepared . The other,however, knowing th e sort of m an with whom he h ad todea l , came down with h is sword drawn , a ttacked Brereton

first , and gave him such wounds tha t he died on the spot .

But th e whole of Bate ’s energies were not exhausted by

j ourna l ism and duel l ing . Amongst his other act ivit ies , h e

92

S I R HENRY BATE -DUDLEY ,BART.

produced a number of comic operas for Drury Lane Theatre ,incited thereto , perhaps, by h is V icar , Townley, and h is friendGarrick . One or two of them m et with moderate success,and one or two were damned . One historian of the newspaper press stigmat ises Bate as a writer of “ l icentious ”

plays. The crit ic can never have read h is by no meansbri l l iant , but certa inly quite inoffensive , product ions . Such

of them as the present writer h as examined are no more witty

or wise , but ne ither are they one whit more “ l icentious,than most of the comic Operas which have pleased thisfast idious generat ion . They are l ive ly l it t le productions of

their k ind , and contain severa l amusing characters ; while,a lthough the songs with which they are interspersed are

tota l ly without l iterary merit , no doubt they sounded wel l

enough when set to appropriate music . Wha t The

Blackamoor Washed White ”was l ike it is impossible to

say, as the piece was never printed ; but the riot whichoccasioned its withdrawa l after the fourth night , in February,1776 , had nothing to do with its merits or demerits as a play .

From a letter to Garrick we learn that the author had ava iledhimse lf of some masterly hints and emendat ions by thegreat actor ; a nd Mrs. S iddons, who had j ust been engagedat Dru ry Lane on the strength of Bate ’

s report on her

performances at Bath , was given a prominent character i nthe piece . But the author got wind that an organised

opposit ion was projected ; engineered , i t was supposed, bysome of those who had suffered from his sat irical h its in theMorning Post ; and he accordingly engaged a number of

pugilists to give assistance if necessary , and planted all the

sta lwart friends and supporters he could muster in variousparts of the house . Henry Angelo, who was one of thisnumber, re lates that the clamour commenced by the opposit ion party giving vent to cat-cal ls , hisses, and yel ls . The

author’s friends responded by clapping of hands and cries ofTurn them out And so i t went on for some t ime , unti lBate indu lged in a piece of bad generalship . A number of

93


friends whom he had col lected behind the scenes, accom

panied by severa l we l l-known pugilists, were made to cross

in front of the curta in from one stage door to another,Shaking the ir doubled fists and making other menacing

gestures towards the audience . This fa lse move enlisted theoccupants of the ga l leries on the side of his opponents, and

was the signa l for a genera l attack . The occupants of theboxes were pe lted with showers of oranges , apples , and otherconvenient missiles ; and then there was a rush , in which notonly fists, but bludgeons, were freely used , unt i l the author ’s

party was complete ly routed . Bate seems to have made nofurther a ttempt at dramat ic au thorship for two or threeyears ; and when h is Flitch of Bacon appeared , in 1779,i t was unmolested, and had a good run. I t not on ly putmoney into the author ’s pocket , but it a l so made the fortuneof William Shie ld , who was selected by Bate to write themusic for i t . Shield was the son of a provincia l music

master , who , after be ing apprent iced to a boat-bu ilder, gaveup that occupat ion to become a professiona l musician , l ikeh is father . At the t ime Bate picked him ou t he was firstviol in in the orchestra of the I tal ian Opera ; but this firstOperat ic venture of his own was so successfu l that h e wasappointed composer in genera l to Covent Garden

,and he

concluded a prosperous career by becoming Master of

Musicians in Ordinary to the King .

In 1780 , being then thirty-five years of age and a person

of some consequence both in London and i n the country

(for h e was a squ ire, and a j ust ice of the peace for the county

of Essex) , Bate married . Of the lady of h is choice l i ttle i sknown , except that she was the Sister of the celebratedactress Mrs. Hartley , through championship of whom in

Vauxha l l Gardens, as we have seen , Bate had sprung intofame (or notoriety) seven years previously . Like Mrs.Hartley , she is sa id to have been a great beauty and , i n the

absence of any deta i ls concern ing h er, i t m ay be permissibleto give a Short account ofwhat is known concern ing her Sister,

94


h er demeanour had induced him to take up h is unfinishedtragedy and complete i t for th e stage . Two years after h erret irement her death was reported in th e Gentlem an

’

s Magazine

for June , 1782 ; but in the following month the report wascontradicted , and the publ ic was assured that sh e was l ivingin the south of France, i n good hea l th , and passes by thename of White . S he appears to have made enough whileon the boards to keep h er in easy circumstances for the

rema inder of her l ife ; and when she died, forty- four yearslater, sh e left a fa ir estate .

Either j ust before or j ust after his marriage , Bate quarre l ledirreconci lably with th e proprietors of the Morning Post, and

having left them,he promptly started a riva l paper, ca l led

the Morning H erald . According to the announcement in itsfirst number, i t was to be conducted on Libera l principles ;and there was

, of‘ course, bitter riva lry between the two

papers , th e Post becoming more Tory than ever and the

H era ld enthusiast ica l ly support ing the party of the Prince of

Wa les . But Bate had not a ltogether got qu it of the Morning

Post, for i n this same year he was had up before the courtfor a l ibe l on the Duke ofR ichmond

,which had appeared before

he left the paper. The l ibe l was i n the form of a series of

queries, and imputed to the Duke a variety of treasonabl e

pract ices and designs, accusing him, amongst other things ,

of having in his speeches i n th e House of Lords opposed theincrease of th e mil itary strength of the kingdom in order to

facil itate an invasion by the French , and Of having conveyedintel l igence in furtherance of th is end to th e Ministers of

France . Both Bate and th e printer of the paper were

sentenced to twe lve months’ imprisonment in th e King’ sBench , the j udgment be ing delayed for a t ime to a l low for

the rebu ilding of th e prison apartments, which had been

burnt during the Lord George Gordon riots . Bate and h is

newly married wife occupied the two front rooms over the

entrance , where h e enterta ined h is friends and Spent a

tolerably cheerfu l t ime . Like many other sons of the

96

S IR HENRY BATE -DUDLEY,BART .

Church , observes his friend Ange lo , h e kept a good table ,and was no mean professor of gastronomy

, a lthough h e

a lways declared that he was no epicure , two dishes— a turbotand a haunch— be ing a lways sufficient for him ,

followedoccasiona lly by an apricot tart . H is chief resource duringh is confinement was the game of cribbage

, at which he wasvery expert . Poor Henry Ange lo lugubriously re lates howhe played at it there so long one evening that the gates wereshut on him , and h e had to stay the night , when, a lthoughh e was made as comfortable as th e place permitted , and

Mrs. Bate lent him a blanket from h er own bed , the horror Ofbe ing in a prison prevented him from gett ing a wink Of s leep .

Bate , however, never appeared to be ou t of spiri ts duringthe whole twe lvemonth .

The Morning H era ld was going strong, and Bate seems tohave been in no want of funds , for short ly after coming outof prison he bought the advowson of Bradwe ll -j uxta -Mare ,

in Essex , for subject , of course , to the l ife of the

exist ing incumbent , who was a m an of infirm hea lth , anddid not reside in h is parish . But creaking doors hang longand the Rev . George Fawson , by l iving in a more sa lubriousplace and re ligiously absta in ing from h is clerica l duties

,

hung on for another sixteen years. Meanwhile Bate obta inedfrom him a lease of the glebe and t i thes, and establishedhimsel f as curate- ih -charge . The annua l profits Of the placewere supposed to exceed £700 ; but , as Bate told th e Bishopof London in the course of the controversy which after

wards arose ,

On going over the glebe previous to th e purchase , I found it t oconsist of about 300 acres of land , but in so ruinous a sta te frominundations , and various causes of extreme neglect , tha t the tenant wasbroken upon it , and no other could be procured to become its occupier .

I t was destitute of every building necessary for the conduct of th ebusiness . On applying to the farmer whose premises it adjoined , h edeclared to m e tha t he would not possess it on a lease of seven yearsrent free . The church and the chance l were in a similar sta te , th e

churchyard without fence, and its graves, even , disturbed by the hogs

N.D. 97 H


of the village . From the then unhea lth iness of th e country , no rectoror vicar resided within many miles of this deserted peninsula nor

could a cura te of decent manners be found to live there , on any terms,for the due discharge of th e ordinary parochial duties .

”

Nevertheless Bate bought th e advowson , and went toreside on the spot , though not , we m ay presume , without

frequent excursions to London . Three years later, when h eassumed the name of Dudley, in conformity with th e wil l ofa re lat ive from whom he inherited a fortune , Bate— whomwe must henceforth ca l l Dudley , or Bate-Dudley— was ablet o devote both more t ime and more money to the interestsof the Church and parish . H e says

Th e first steps I took were to see the church , with the chancel ,repa ired as became a place of public worship , to have th e servicesof it regularly administered , to promote the increase of a neglectedcongrega tion, to restore th e free school to th e useful purposes of itsinstitution , and to form a police for the protection of a country tha tI found lawless . My next objects were to dra in th e glebe lands , andprevent th e sea from continuing to overflow them, for which I washonoured by the Society of Arts and Sciences with a reward of theirgold meda l.”

The di lapidated rectory was turned into a handsomecountry house

,which thenceforth became we l l known as

Bradwe l l Lodge, where Bate -Dudley enterta ined l ibera l ly,and played the part of squ ire and magistrate as wel l as thatof parson . H enry Angelo records tha t he had Spent many apleasant day there i n company with other friends ; and one

or two of his garru lous reminiscences are rather amusing

Once , I recollect , h is guests then on a visit there h ad been promisedto b e enterta ined with a supper d l ’I ta lian, in wh ich I played th e partof chief cu isinier, arrayed in a proper costume . The pleasantry whichoccurred in th e kitchen on this occasion was such as would have workedwe ll into a scene for a comedy . Among other guests was a Frenchofficer , who , a ffecting the Am ph itrion and grande critique gastronom ique,

with true French fanfa ronade abused every dish , and boa sted h is

na tive cookery above all other, ancient or modern . Bate -Dudleywhispered , ‘ Now mark you, I

’ll roast Monsieur.

’ Which h e did to a

turn of the spit , and , with that de lectable badinage at which he was so

98


Gentlem an’

s Magazine, who never slept at h is post, and someof whose enterprises aga inst the lawless were qu ite extraordinary . Once aga in we m ay draw upon Henry Ange lo

’

s

artless and garrulous narrat ive for a concrete instance

At th e commencement of his offi ce , th e neighbourhood h ad beengrea tly infested by tha t worst of varm ent (to use th e gamekeeper’sphrase) th e poa cher . A certa in lonely cottage h ad been pointed out

to h is worship as the nightly rendezvous of a determined gang of therobbers . H e h ad h is secret informer, who had been a confederate ;and one night , when they were m et to sett le their plan of depreda tions ,Mr. Bate rapped at th e door . I t was immedia tely opened , when h ebeheld th e ruffians, each of whom instantly se ized h is loaded piece .

Put your guns away, ye rogues . Know ye not tha t I am Justice

Ba te ? ’

excla imed th e magistrate , with a determined a ir , lookingdel iberately around .

‘ Rogues ! I know ye all . G ive m e your gun,

fellow ’

(to the nearest). You had better stand off,’

sa id th e poacher.

S ir Dudley (sic)“ immedia tely took him by th e collar, and wrested it

from him .

‘ Lay down your pieces , every one of you— resist at yourperil lay down your arms, I say , and go home t o your families,you wicked ru ffians .

’ Appa lled at h is firmness, each la id h is pieceupon the table ; and he turned them out . Then , going to th e door and

shouting Constables ! ’ the fellows took to their heels , and a party ofth e police who were in a ttendance came in, and th e weapons , withguns , snares , and other implements for destroying game , were collectedand borne away without th e least resistance . And by this one act ofintrepidity th e bold magistrate broke up the gang .

”

But when the Rev . George Fawson was gathered to h isfa thers , in 1797 , and Dudley presented himse l f to the l iv ing

’

of

Bradwe l l , th e Bishop of London refused to institute on theground of Simony . This object ion was doubtless on ly a lega l

excuse which happened to lie ready to the bishop ’s hand ,and the rea l cause of hi s refusa l was probably disapprova l of

the character of the fighting parson . I n addit ion to th e other

somewhat unclerica l character ist ics and accomplishmentswhich have been enumerated , Dudley had recently been

defendant in an act ion for crim . con . after having some t imepreviously fought a due l with the hu sband , and a lthough the

verdict had been given in h is favour, his defence had been

ma inly based upon technica l grounds . However this m ay

I OO

S IR HENRY BATE -DUDLEY,BART .

be , after a long controversy and the inst itut ion of a su itwhich never came into court , a compromise was arrived at

according to which Dudley’s brother- in- law , the Rev . R .

Birch , was to be col lated to the l iving . I t was then discovered that , in consequence of the patron having fa i led toexercise h is right within a specified t ime, the next presentat ion had lapsed to the Crown , whereupon the Rev . R ichardGamble , Chapla in -Genera l to the Forces, was appointed tothe l iving . There was great indignat ion in the county, forDudley seems to have been extreme ly popu lar ; and , l ittleas we hear of any Spiritua l min istrat ions to h is parishioners ,he deserved to be , for he had not only restored the churchand school of Bradwel l , but , at a tota l cost to h imself of

he had recla imed a large tract of land from the

inroads of the sea , thus turning a pesti lent ia l swamp into ahea lthy. and habitable district , h ad made the roads passable ,and so had improved not only the vil lage itse lf, but the wholene ighbourhood for miles round . The news of Gamble ’s

appointment happening to reach Chelm sford during the

assizes , the assembled magistrates promptly despatched a

message to Pitt in favour ofDudley . Subsequently a memoria l

was sent to Addington Signed by severa l peers, as wel l as by thewhole lay magistracy of th e county , to the following effect

We , th e Lord Lieutenant, High Sher iff, and Magistra tes of th eCounty of Essex , having perused and duly considered th e memoria l andcase of the Rev . Henry Ba te -Dudley , have grea t satisfaction in offeringthis testimony of our opinion of the addi tional and recent services whichh e h as rendered to the public , by sta ting— That in th e course of thelast summer h e suppressed an a larming and dangerous insurrectionwithin th e district where in which he resides, by personally securingand bringing to conviction the ringleaders thereof ; for which h e receivedthe thanks of th e Lord Chief Just ice , Lord Kenyon , at the Assizes, anda lso those of the Magistra tes at the ir Genera l Quarter Sessions .

Fully sensib le of th e importance of Mr . Dudley’s services on thisand various other occasions, and a lso of the extreme hardship of h iscase , we feel it due to him thus to declare tha t any means which m ay

be adopted for th e a llevia tion of its pressure will prove highly acceptableand sa tisfactory to our county, which has for so many years been so

essentia lly benefitted by his publi c exertions.

”

I OI


After rece iving the foregoing address Addington expressedhimse l f as cordia l ly disposed , and in the course of a debate

i n the House of Commons Sheridan took occasion to referto the hardness of Dudley ’ s case . Dudley himsel f bore hi s

losses with fort itude , and made no attempt , as h e mighthave been expected to do

,to a rouse publ ic sympathy by

j ourna l ist ic means ; but nothing was done by way of recom

pense unt il 1804, when h e was presented to the out -of-theway and comparat ive ly poor rectory of Kilscoran, in countyWexford . H e resided in Ire land with l itt le intermission forabou t e ight years, rece iving during the course of that t ime ,i n addit ion to Kilscoran, the Chance l lorsh ip of the diocese of

Ferns and the rectory of Kilglass , i n county Longford . In18 12 he resigned these benefices, and left Ire land on be ingpresented to the rectory of W i l l ingham

,i n Cambridgeshire .

Mr . Gamble had died in the previous year ; and he had presented his brother- in- law , as arranged with the bishop , to

the l iv ing of Bradwel l .In 18 13 , in recogn it ion of his many services to the public ,including, of course , h is j ournal ist ic support of the party of

the Prince of Wa les, Dudley was created a baronet . In18 16

,though over seventy years Of age , he showed someth ing

of his old energy in the suppression of the riots which then

occurred in the eastern counties . Horses, barns, and corn

stacks had been set on fire, and catt le, corn , and instrumentsof husbandry destroyed, by the rioters i n various parts of

Norfolk , Suffolk , Huntingdon , and Cambridge ; but on

May 23 rd the ma i n body of the i nsurgents were defeated

near Ely by the exertions of Dudley and another clerica lmagistrate , a ided by a troop of yeomanry , a sma l l detachment of dragoons , and a few of the disbanded mil it ia . The

rioters fired on th e troops and magistrates from barricadedhouses , but they were soon driven out and put to fl ight , one

hundred or more be ing taken pri soners . When the assizes

m et in June the grand j ury voted the ir unanimou s thanks tothese magistrates for thei r spiri ted, prudent , and energet ic

102


dea l ings with poachers, and smugglers , and rioters in Essex ,h is plans for the protect ion of th e sea coast (which an

aston ished genera l entrusted with that business declared thathe would be ent ire ly gu ided by) , together with h is character

ist ic qua l i t ies both of body and Of mind , all tend to confirm

the j udgment of certa in of his friends that in the army he

must inevitably have risen to great dist inct ion . H e m ay be

c ited as a capita l instance of the square peg in the roundhole, for few will doubt that the fighting parson ought tohave been a soldier.

104

ANDREW ROB INSON BOW ES .

F r om a n 6 113; r a v ing .

A HUNTED HE IRESS— MARY ELEANOR,

COUNTESS OF STRATHMORE

IN the year 1812 , or thereabout , Dr. Jesse Foot , a Londonsurgeon , whose extensive pract ice and many medica l publ icat ions had made him no inconsiderable riva l ofh iscontemporarythe great John Hunter, determined to put upon record forthe benefit of posterity some part icu lars of the l ives of two of

his pat ients then recently deceased . Dr. Foot ma intainedthe theory that every piece of biography Shou ld have a mora la im but he e lected to dea l with the l ives of th e Countess of

St rathmore and Mr. Bowes , not because these were excep

tionally est imable persons, but , on the contrary , because ,a lthough “ situated on the summit of fortune ”

and blessedwith all the advantages that birth, education , and wea lthcou ld confer, they had made Shipwreck of the ir l ives , and , inhis opin ion , might we l l stand as a lesson and a warning tofuture generat ions . H is two pat ients were undoubtedlypersons of very pecu l iar temperaments , and he sets ou t by

saying that

Ne ither of them rece ived one single check from any compunctiousvisit ings of nature ne ither of them h ad disciplined the ir minds by thestrict observance of any rule of r ight both of them appeared as if theyhad been taken from a land not yet in a state of civilisation , and droppedby accident where they have been found .

”

But the good doctor’s psychologywas wholly unequa l to the

task which he proposed to himsel f ; and instead of making

an analysis of the pecu liar temperaments of these pat ients ,or inqu iring how they came to possess such temperaments,

107


or giving any indicat ion , such as his exordium seemed to

promise , of the means by which future generat ions mightensure better temperaments, he contented himse lf with a bare

recita l of biographica l facts, interspersed with passages of

vigorous and warrantable , but a ltogether unil luminat ing,denunciat ion . However, he had a very interest ing , i f a lso

very pa infu l , story to tel l ; and he was otherwise we l l enoughequ ipped for the purpose , having during a profess iona l

attendance of over th irty years acquired a good dea l Of first

hand and intimate knowledge of the part ies, and having a l so ,after the ir death , become possessed of a number of the i rletters . I f Dr. Foot ’ s story were uncorroborated , he might

have been suspected of gross exaggerat ion ; but many of themost aston ishing part iculars in the following narrat ive havebeen taken , not from h is book , but from the shorthandreports of the various tria l s in wh ich his two unhappy

pat ients became involved . Readers of the dramat ic l itera

ture of the Georgian era have probably somet imes wonderedwhether such bruta l m en and such sil ly women as are there inrepresented cou ld ever have had any existence except upon

th e stage . A perusa l Of the following pages wil l make it

clear that some rea l specimens were to be found in the seats of

the country gentry and in the mansions of Grosvenor Square.

Mary Eleanor Bowes was the on ly ch ild and sole he iressof George Bowes, M.P.

, of S treatlam Castle and Gibside,

county Durham . H e was a m an of great wea lth , who , i naddit ion to extensive landed esta tes, possessed a large in terestin severa l coa l mines . The ancient lordship of Streat lam ,

ne ighboured on east , west, and north by th e estates and

castles of the Nevil les and the Beauchamps, was one of the

most considerable seats in the county . Gibside as i t thenwas we get some notion of from the correspondence of Mrs.

Elizabeth Montagu . In 175 3 , four years after Mary Eleanor

was born , Mr. Montagu , who was then on a visi t there , toldh is wife that , al though a ll th e gentlemen Of the county wereemu lously p lanting and adorn ing the ir seat s, nothing came

108


thought She wou ld be such a bad barga i n became notorious

as“the bad Lord Lytte lton and whether he cou ld have

been any worse if he had married her, or whether sh e cou ldhave had a more unhappy lot if un ited to him , are questions

on which the reader m ay be left to specu late i f he happens to

be that way disposed .

According to Mary Eleanor ’s own account , her father,who was uncommonly handsome , and uncommonly idle , and

a great rake , in his youth , became as he grew older uncom

m only pious . H e endeavoured to tra in her, She says , i n such

a way that She might turn ou t as accompl ished at the age of

thirteen as h is first and favouri te wife had been at tha t age .

Amongst other things , be tra ined her to make speechesbefore company , and to learn by heart and then decla im

long passages out of Milton and— Ovid ’s Metamorphoses . ”

But, She assures u s, a lthough sh e read the Bible as we l l

as Milton , the care with which sh e was i nstructed in the

classica l mythology made her somewhat doubtfu l whether

she ought to profess Christ ian ity or paganism ! Whatever

her accompl ishments m ay have been , She was, natura l ly

enough , much sought after by he iress -hunters , t it led and

otherwise ; and , natura l ly enough , she fl irted with a good

many of them for a t ime withou t committ ing herself. One

n ight at Alm ack’

s, for example , there was a quarrel , which

set the whole room in an uproar and nearly ended in a

duel , between Lord Mountstuart and a Mr . Cha loner, over adispute as to which of them Shou ld Sit next her at supper,when the young lady innocently declared that she had notgiven any encouragement to e i ther of them . But She was

too great a prize to rema in uncaptured for long and before

she had completed her e ighteenth year she accepted the

addresses of John Lyon , ninth Earl of S trathmore . H er

mother objected to her choice ; but nevertheless on F eb

ruary 24th , 1767 , they were married from h er country house

at Pau l ’sWa lden , in Hertfordshire, and a fortn ight later went

off to Spend the ir honeymoon at G ibside .

I I O

MARY ELEANOR , COUNTESS OF STRATHMORE

John , Earl of Strathmore , a Scotchman , then thirty years

of age , was reputed to be a good friend and a good bottle

companion , but - he can scarcely have been a l together an

appropriate husband for th e fl igh ty and eccentric youngwoman h e had married . H e had no controll ing influence

over her, and he had no sympathy with the l iterary and

scientific hobbies to which she was devoted . H e made nocompla ints about h er fi ll ing the house with flatterers and

pedants and what Foot describes as“ learned domestics .

With him , the property was evidently the ma in thing and

having added the name of Bowes to his own surname , in

recognit ion of the financia l benefits he had rece ived , heseems to have gone qu ietly h is own way and left h is wife t ogo hers . Of course she became surrounded by des ign ing

people , who ca l led h er“the patroness of a ll the arts, and

egged her on from one extravagant hobby to another, ou t ofwhich they found the ir own advantage . Foot says that she

h ad a rea l ly considerable knowledge of botany , though she

adopted a very extravagant way of Showing it , for She

purchased a fine old mansion , with extensive wa l led - in

gardens , at Upper Che lsea , and there bu il t a series of cost lyand e laborate hothouses and conservatories for the

preservat ion and cu lt ivat ion of exotic plants, which heragents procured , at great expense , from every ava i lable

quarter of the globe . S he had some acqua intance with

severa l languages , and she be l ieved hersel f to have greatl iterary facu lty , i f not , indeed , poet ic genius . What h er

facu lty amounted to m ay be estimated from the ambit ious

five-act tragedy , in blank verse (very blank verse) , ent it ledThe S iege of Jerusa lem ,

” which she had printed for priva tedistribut ion in 1774 . I t is very poor stuff indeed , without aSingle image or th e semblance Of a thought in it frombeginning to end ; and the feeble story is told in even feeblerverse , whose ha lt ing lines , some too long and some too short ,i t i s imposs ible to scan . Many young persons , both beforeand since, bel ieving themse lves to be l iterary geniuses, have

I I I


proved the contrary by producing equa l ly worth less composit ions . Of course , had sh e l ived in our twent ieth century , her

story wou ld have been written in prose instead of i n verse,and , by lavish advert isement of it as the Countess of

Strathmore ’s great nove l ,” m ight have been boomed into the

success of a season . Bu t these ha lcyon days were yet tocome .

There were five children of the marriage , two daughters

and three sons ; but poor Lord Strathmore , whose hea lthwas never very robust , broke down a ltogether in 1775 , and

when the winter came on was ordered off to th e mildercl imate of Lisbon , where he d ied of consumption on

Marchd 7th , 1776 . I t might have been thought that , as Lady

S trathmore did not accompany h er husband , she had

rema ined behind to look after her ch ildren but a lthough she

had an inordinate affect ion for cats and dogs , her chi ldrenseem to have rece ived very l itt le of her care , and for h er

e ldest son in particu lar sh e appears to have conce ived an

unnatura l d isl ike . AS soon as Lord S trathmore was deadShe began to l ive the l i fe of a merry widow

, so that h er own

as we l l as her husband ’ s re lat ives were Shocked and he ld

a loof from her. Before many months had e lapsed there wasta lk of her marrying aga in ; . and i t was currently reported

that She h ad rece ived the addresses of a Mr. George Gray ,an Anglo - Indian , forty years of age or thereabout , who hadserved under Cl ive i n no very h igh capacity, but who had

returned home with a large fortune and set about purchas

ing land in Scot land by way of becom ing a pi l lar of the

Bri t ish Const itu t ion . Gray visited h er constantly , and they

went about Openly together in such a fashion as providedde lectable j ourna l ist ic materia l for Parson Bate ’s Morning

Post, where i n appeared a series of paragraphs and lettersconcern ing “

th e Countess Of Grosvenor Square ,”

a l luding

to h er cold indifference to her late husband during the daysof h is sickness , suggest ing that , instead of indu lg ing in

indecent levity , she wou ld be better employed in her closet

I I Z


to his disappointment , his wife brought no chi ldren into the

world a l ive . A correspondent who l ived in the ne ighbour

hood, and knew him we l l , wrote to Foot saying tha t on one

occasion Stoney caused the be l l of th e parish church to be

tol led for a ch ild that was st i l l -born , becau se , i f he could have

proved it to have l ived , h e would have acqu ired a l i fe estate

i n hi s wife ’s property . But the mere tol l ing of the be l l was

no proof, and apparently he had no other . On severa loccasions he advert ised the t imber on h is wife ’s estates forsale , bu t the next week

’ s newspaper a lways conta ined an

advert isement of forbiddance on th e part of certa in personswho la id cla im to the estate as next he irs ; and h e was

frustrated in that scheme a lso . In consequence of these

di sappointments , he behaved to h is wife l ike a savage . Once

at a public assembly, i n a violent fit of rage , he tumbled her

down a whole fl ight of sta irs . At another t ime, as i t wascurrently reported in the ne ighbourhood

, he kept her lockedup in a bare room for three days

,with no other clothing

than her chemise , and fed her on noth ing but one egg a day.

Fortunately for herse lf, th e unhappy lady did not survive thiskind of treatment very long . After her death S toney cameto l ive in London , where h e seems to have fi l led up his t imewith the usua l rout ine of a m an of pleasure

,which con

s isted in cock -figh ting, horse- racing,gambling in the clubs of

St . James ’ s , and genera l d issoluteness.I t is not probable that Lady S trathmore knew anything

about S toney’

s private history, and how h e obta ined an

i ntroduct ion to her does not appear . But having run downand captured a lready one only daughter and sole he iress,h e was not the sort of m an to lose his chance from want ofaudacity in j oin ing in th e pursu i t of another. H e was latei n the fie ld , for Gray had the start of h im by about fourmonths ; but the dul l -witted nabob was no match for thecunning hal f-pay officer. Amongst the principa l membersof the Countess ’ s household in Grosvenor Square were MissEl iza Planta , her Ladyship

’s confidante, and the Rev . Henry

1 14


Stephens , h er domestic chapla in . Both these persons werewon over to S toney

’

s in terest , on the understanding apparently of payment by resu lts . They ins id iously influencedth e Countess ’s mind in accordance with h is prompt ings ,and kept him regularly suppl ied with informat ion whichhe was able to use for himself. F or example , having d iscovered that the Countess was of a very superstit iousturn of mind , he got El iza Planta to arrange a visit to a

certa in fortune -te l ler ; and, as h e took care to prime the

m an beforehand very careful ly, Lady Strathmore , great ly toh er astonishment , was told, i n th e first place , many thingswhich she thought nobody outside her own establishmentcould possibly know

, and then informed oracularly, butunmistakably, that a certa in contemplated marriage was

fated never to take place , and that a better husband , whosedescript ion tal l ied with that of Stoney, was in store for her.

Another of h is stratagems was to write a letter to himsel f,and get it Copied out in a female handwri t ing , purport ing tocome from a lady in Durham , who , having heard of h is devot ion at the shrine of the Countess Of S trathmore , denouncedvengeance on him for h is fa ith lessness to herse lf. The copy

of this letter b e caused to be forwarded to the Countess ,having first sent it down to Durham i n order that it m ight

arrive with the Durham post -mark on it . A day or twolater this was followed by another letter, in which the supposi

titiouS forsaken fa ir one expressed regret for hav ing sent herLadyship a Copy of h er letter to S toney , as she had sincebeen great ly re l ieved to hear that h er Ladyship was l ike ly tomarry Mr. Gray ; and as She h ad rece ived authenticinformat ion that Mr . Gray ’ s addresses had rece ived the

support and concurrence of the late Lord Strathmore ’sfriends and re lat ions, she had no doubt that her Ladyshipwould soon marry him ,

and that the infatuated Stoney wouldthen return to her. This was an extreme ly subtle strokeaga inst Gray, for if anyth ing cou ld have induced the Countessto break her engagement with him or anybody else it wou ld

1 15 I 2


have been to find that they were in friendly associat ion withthe re lat ives of her late husband . She did not break withGray, however , who continued to visi t her as u sua l , and Wasqu ite unconscious that the artfu l l ieutenant was slowly undermin ing h is pos it ion and fortifying h is own. At Christmas,1776, th e Countess went on a vis i t for a few days to hermother at Pau l ’ s Wa lden , from which place she sent Stoney

a letter, i n forming him , amongst other things , that herchapla in , Mr. Stephen s, had suddenly and unexpectedlymarried her confidante, El iza Planta . I t seems probablethat , for reasons best known to Eliza and himse lf

,S toney

had been anxious to provide herwith a ‘husband with as l i tt ledelay as possible and from his point of view there were twogreat advantages i n a l lying her with Stephens : firstly

,i t

wou ld not withdraw her from the Countess’ s service ; andsecondly , by making his two secret agents m an and wife he

re l ieved himself of the risk of the i r deve loping confl ict ing

interests . How they were rewarded for the ir services wil l beseen presently . At the moment , of course , i t was his cue

to express the greatest surprise , and he repl ied to herletter in the fol lowing somewhat obscure and rhetorica l

stra in

Woman ’s a r iddle . I never felt the proverb more than upon thehonour of rece iving your Ladyship ’s letter. Eliza has indeed beenplaying with in the curta in . H ad I been worthy to have h ad confidencein this business, I certa inly should have advised a double plot. Yourj ourney would have prevented any inquiry after the intention of yourfa ir friend , and I then should have had the happiness of making myconsort not only th e conversation of the day, but myself]the envy ofth e world . You draw a flatter ing picture of Mr . Stephens ; was beanyth ing but Eliza ’

s husband , I should not be pleased with this tra it butsh e deserves to be happy ; and I hOpe h e is everything that she can wish .

I always thought that Eliza h ad a good heart ; but she h as now conv inced us that she has a great mind , above being trammelled by theopinions of guardians, rela tions , or pretended friends. A free choice ishappiness and bliss is the offspring of th e mind . Those only possessj oy who th ink they have it ; and it signifies little whether we are happyby th e forms our connections would prescribe to u s or not . I be lieveit will not be denied that many are miserable under the opinion of the

1 16 .


Scott , M.D . , and S ir Caesar Hawkins , who were a ll ca l led in

to attend to the wounds of the combatants . The morn ing after

the due l S toney’

s apartments at the St . James ’ s Coffee -housewere fi l led with visitors who came to congra tu late him , but thiswou ld have proved scant consolat ion for the ri sk he had run

h ad her Ladyship regarded h is exploit in the matter-of-fact

way tha t most other fine ladies of th e period would have

done . But he knew, and calcu lated upon , her extreme sensi

bil ity, and was probably not surprised at the romant ic tone

of th e letter She sent h im next morning , in which She

declared that the wounds he had rece ived external ly hadwounded her interna l ly, with much more to the same effect .In the course of th e morn ing sh e followed up her letter by aca l l , and Foot , who was present in attendance on the

wounded swa in , thus describes her appearance

The Countess at this time was scarcely thirty years of age : sh e

possessed a very pleasing em bonpoint h er breast was uncommonly fineh er stature was ra ther under the middle class ; her hair brown ; hereyes light, sma l l , and sh e was near -Sighted ; her face was round ; h erneck and shoulders graceful ; h er lower jaw ra ther underhanging , and

which , whenever she was agita ted , moved very uncommonly, as if convu lsively, from side to s ide ; h er fingers were sma ll , and her handswere exceedingly del icate . Sh e appeared in very fine hea lth ; hercomplexion was particularly clear ; h er dress displayed h er person , itwas e legant and loose .

”

H e adds that she glowed with all the warmth of a gay

widow about to be married , and that She was extraordinari ly

e lated in consequence of having had a due l fought on her

account . The poor s il ly sou l , h e says, took home th e swordtha t S toney had used , and hung it up at th e head of her bed .

S he a l so ce lebrated the occasion in verse , to the following

effect

Unm ov’d Maria saw the splendid suite

Of riva l captives Sighing at h er feet,Till in h er cause h is sword young Stoney drew ,

And to avenge , the ga llant wooer flew !Bravest among th e brave l— and first to proveBy death ! or conquest ! who best knew to love !

1 18


But pa le and fa int th e wounded lover lies,While more than pity fills Maria ’

s eyesIn h er soft breast , where passion long had strove ,Resistless sorrow fix’d the reign of love l

Dear youth ,’ she cries, we meet no more to partThen take thy honour ’s due— m y bleeding heart

One can imagine the dear youth ’s long curved nosemoving up and down with h is l ip as he read these pit ifu l

l ines, for to him their meaning was not so much that hehad won the admirat ion of a sent imenta l young woman as

that Gibside , and S treat lam Cast le , and the coa l mines, andthe Che lsea hothouses, and other propert ies of hers werenow to come into h is possession . But be ing wel l aware of thefickleness as we l l as sensibil ity of h is charmer ’s temperament , he pressed matters forward with the utmost urgency,and before a week had e lapsed they were married at St .James ’ s Church . The morning after h is marriage he he ldqu i te a levée at the St . James ’s Coffee-house . H e was dressed

for the occasion in a new su it of regimenta ls two of h is

near relat ions, Genera l Robinson and Genera l Armstrong ,appeared likewise in ful l mil itary uniform , as a lso did some

of the re lat ions of the Countess ; and the cards that wereleft by the numerous visitors, who came on foot , on horseback , and in coaches , made an immense heap . But , saysFoot

,growing inordinately rhetorica l , no bridesma ids graced

the nuptia ls, Hymen’

s torch burned not clear, the perfumewas not sweet -scented, the background was sombrous, and

so forth , in a long string of incongruou s metaphors intended

to Shadow forth the troubles that were to come. I t is a

highly sign ificant fact tha t on the morn ing a fter the marriage

th e Rev . Henry Stephens , Eliza’

s husband , rece ived the sum

of which Bowes generously pa id him out of the

Countess’s money .

Of course the bridegroom promptly took possession of h is

wife ’s house i n Grosvenor Square and of all h er movables.

H e then seems to have bethought himse l f that there was at

least one person to whom he must make some Show of

1 19


apology for the i ndecent haste of his proceedings . H e

accordingly wrote a letter to Lady Strathmore ’s mother toexcuse himself for having omitted the ceremony of asking herconcurrence, in which h e sa id

I wish to a tone for tha t breach of duty , and to ask your pardon,

under th e promise of dedica ting th e rema inder of my life to th e honourand interest of your daughter and h er family . My grateful hear t willmake m e her fa ithful companion , and with unremitting attention I willconsult h er peace of mind and the advantage of h er children .

”

Like Lord Strathmore before him , Stoney changed h issurname for that of h is wife , and we must henceforth speak

of him as Bowes . One of h is earl iest l itt le attentions to thepeace of mind of his wife was to change all her old servantsfor new ones of h is own choosing and to get rid of the quasi

l iterary and scient ific persons with whom she had del ightedto surround herse lf. Then , a fter giving a few grand dinnersto exhibit h is newly acquired Splendour, h e sold th e house in

Grosvenor Square , and rented another in what was then the

secluded ne ighbourhood of Hammersmith .

H e had been married but a very short t ime when he made

a discovery that great ly aston ished him . H e found tha tbefore her marriage with h im , and while sh e was contemplat ing a marriage with Gray , She h ad , with Gray ’sconcurrence , executed a deed to trustees whereby she vestedin them for her sole use the whole Of h er estates. Thiswould never do . What he had married her for was simply

and sole ly in order that he might have the entire control ofa ll her estates . As it happened , Sh e, as we l l as he , wanted to

ra ise a considerable sum of re ady cash on th e property,for,

to say nothing of other immediate necess it ies, Mr. Gray

a l leged a contract of marriage with her Ladyship , and

threatened a su i t if he were not pecuniarily recompensed .

S he agreed therefore to the ra ising of a loan , and a deed

was duly executed by the two of them conj oint ly whereby

th e rents of certa in specified estates Shou ld be set apart tosat isfy the necessary annu i t ies . Out of the money so ra ised

120


expenditure that appeared necessary to further h is candidaturefor a peerage . In December he says that h e wil l not come to

London , because he can l ive at ha lf th e expense at G ibside ,

and must first get some money in hand . In th e following

May h e reports that a lthough he has sold the Che lsea house ,with all its conservatories, etc.

,h e i s st i l l i n want of ready

money. In June he wants a bil l held over for a short t ime ,a lthough it appears that he has recently been able to buy a

racehorse , which has been doing we l l . In February , 1780 ,h e declares that h e wil l break with h is present bankers as

soon as it i s safe for him to Show his tee th , but a t the

moment he is be ing incessant ly harassed by the mortgagees

of his estates. H e implores his friend to buy from him one

estate , near Barnard Castle , which is ent ire ly in h is own

disposa l , h as no encumbrance on i t but a sum of the

interest of which has been duly pa id , and is worth about

£400 a year . At the same t ime h e gives this friend th e t ipto bet on his horse I ce lander, and he adds that it wil lbe equa l ly safe to bet on its owner becoming member for

Newcastle . As it happened, the t ip was a good one , for hishorse won th e race , and h e won h is elect ion . In August ,178 1 , he writes that a lthough Lady Strathmore is in perfect

hea l th , yet, as she i s with child, he is determined to insureh er l ife deeply , and wou ld l ike worth of pol icies withgood names to them . Altogether h e seems to have insured

her for about And so the letters go on , a lwaysshowing him to be in difficu lt ies and adopting all sorts of

expedients for ra ising ready money. Notwithstanding that he

was member for Newcast le , he was scarce ly ever in London ,making not even a pretence of attending to h is parl iamentarydut ies , and as soon as he found that the Government did notfavour h is pretensions to a peerage he devoted himself exclu

sively to other pursu its .

One day i n the autumn of 1783 Foot m et him in Cockspur

S treet and accompan ied him to a j ewe l ler’s, where he boughta number of trinkets to the val ue of £40. Shortly after this

122


the surgeon went down to Pau l’

s Wa lden to inocu late the

Countess’s latest baby . H e found many people at dinnerthere , and amongst them a most beautiful young woman , adaughter of one of the farmers on th e estate , who , h e noticed ,was wearing the trinkets that Bowes had bought a few dayspreviously in Cockspur Street , H er mother and s isters cameafter dinner , and they a ll drank tea with the Countess. H e

had not seen Lady Strathmore for some t ime, and found h er

so strange ly a ltered that he would have l iked some pr ivateconversat ion with her, but no opportun ity was afforded h im .

She was pa le and nervous, and h er under -jaw constantly movedfrom s ide to side . I f she sa id anything , she looked at him first . If sh ewas asked to drink a glass of wine, sh e took h is inte lligence before she

answered . She sat but a Short time at dinner,and was then out of my

s ight .”

Bowes now rented another house , furnished, in GrosvenorSquare

,where h e gave a few parl iamentary dinners, to some

of the members of h is acqua intance , for I will not ca l l themfriends,

”says Foot s ign ificantly. But h e saw both that h e

had no chance of being returned aga in for Newcastle , and

that the peerage game was up , wherefore , abandoningpol itics and ambit ion , he devoted h is rest less energies toworrying and harassing the re lat ives and guardians of h iswife ’

s chi ldren , part ly perhaps as a vent for h is evi l temper ,but part ly a lso , without a doubt , to make money by gett ingthe girls into h is possession and disposing of them inmatrimony .

The late Lord S trathmore ’s two daughters were wards inChancery ; and the ir guardians , who disapproved not only of

Lady Strathmore ’

s marriage,but of her conduct genera l ly ,

wished to keep the children away from h er influence as m uchas possible . They were a l lowed to visit h er occasiona l ly, butonly on condit ion of return ing home the same evening ; andfor severa l years she seems to have troubled very l itt le aboutthem . In 1784 Lady Maria Jane , the e lder daughter, was

about s ixteen years of age , and having left school , was l iving

123


with her aunt , Lady A . S i n Harley Street . The youngerdaughter, Lady Anna Maria , was in a school not far Off. OnMay 2 1st i n that year the Countess addressed a letter,unmistakably dictated by Bowes , to the mistress of thisschool saying she was j ust about to make a visit to Bath

and wou ld send for Lady Anna Maria next morning , as she

would like h er daughter to spend a day with h er before h er

departure . Next morn ing accordingly Lady Anna Mariawas a l lowed to leave the school for Grosvenor Square incompany with a Mr . and Mrs . Reynett , who had been sentto fetch h er . Mr. Reynett was a clergyman , who had replaced

the Rev . Henry Stephens as domest ic chapla in , and now

l ived , together with h is wife , i n Bowes’s house . But when

night came , instead of br ing ing the chi ld back to school , this

worthy couple brought a letter to the schoolmistress and the

in format ion that Lady Strathmore and her daughter had left

Grosvenor Square i n a hackney coach,for wha t dest inat ion

they could not tel l . The letter, which was signed by th eCountess and in her handwri ting , set forth that , i n accordancewith Lady Anna Maria ’s affectionate and dutifu l request that

she might spend her hol idays with her mother, Lady S trath

more had taken her into h er own possession . S h e wou ld not

have done this, she added , before th e end of the schoolterm had she not feared that she wou ld then be prevented,as she h ad been before , by the young lady

’

s guardians, whohad caused h er much suffering by depriving her of thecompany of her ch i ldren .

On the same day the Countess addressed another letter

(a lso , of course , at Bowes ’s dictat ion) to Lady A . Srequest ing that Lady Maria Jane might come the fol lowingday to see her before she set ou t for Bath ; and nextmorning Lady Maria Jane was duly sent, accompan ied byMrs . O a sister of Lady A . S ’

s late husband .

They were Shown into the drawing - room and received byMrs . Reynett . As they came up to the house the young lady

declared that she saw her s ister’s face at one of the windows .

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distant degree of impoliteness, especially in my own house ; but thatgoodness of heart which I have th e plea sure to know you possess will,I doubt not , fully excuse the liberty I now take , and lead you tosympath ise in the sufferings of a parent whose children have for manyyears b een entire ly excluded from h er sight , an affl iction which , thoughyou have never been so unfortunate a s to experience , yet you m ay easilyconce ive th e severity of and from your own sensations upon formeroccasions will form a just idea how impossible it must be even to existunder such cruel and unnatura l control .

I am , Madam ,

Your most obedient and humble Servant ,M . E . BOWES STRATH MORE .

As soon as Mrs . O had read this letter sh e ca l led forher own servant , who attended h er carriage at the door, anddirected him to carry it to his master and bid him cometo h er i n Grosvenor Square immediate ly . She then toldMrs. Reynett that she meant to stay there unt i l her youngcharge was given up to h er. Mrs . Reynett pretended togo in search of the young lady, but presently returnedsaying she cou ld not find e i ther h er or Lady S trathmore .

Mrs. 0 then went aga in to the Countess ’s dressing

room , th e door of which proved th is t ime to be unlocked ;but on her endeavouring to enter, i t was Shut and lockedaga inst h er by some person on the ins ide . At the samemoment she heard Lady Maria scream , whereupon she cal ledout , Maria , I will not quit this house unt i l you come tom e . Then , asking Mrs . Reynett for a Cha ir, she planted itaga inst the door, sat down

, and declared that there she

wou ld rema in . H er courage and determinat ion were re

warded , for the gent leman who had been si tt ing with her andMrs . Reynett in th e drawing - room interfered in her behal f,and presently appeared leading the young lady by the hand .

After thanking him warmly , they hastened out of the house .

Lady Maria afterwards informed her friends that all the

while she was deta ined both h er mother and Mr . Bowes hadbeen exhort ing her by every inducement they cou ld think ofto withdraw herself from her guardians and reside with

them . On the 26th of the month applicat ion was made by

126


her guardians to the Lord Chance l lor to have the person ofLady Anna Maria de l ivered over to them ; but they weretoo late . On the evening of the 22nd Bowes, who h admade all necessary preparat ions in advance , had set ou t

with the Countess and her daughter, not for Bath , but forPari s .H e was a lways a good hand at Pecksniffian letter-writ ing ;

and the friend who , as we have seen , took a great deal oftrouble to he lp him in h is financia l negotiat ions, was now

i nduced to he lp him in the suit which was brought aga insthim in the Court of Chancery . But in a letter which he

wrote to this friend after he had been about three weeks i nhiding on the Continent he came perilously near to givinghimsel f away .

I f I had wanted to petition the Chancellor !he says] on the lateconduct of the guardians, I am perfectly well satisfied that the samediabolica l and unfa ir artifices would have been successfully practisedupon Lady Anna Maria tha t have deprived Lady Stra thmore for ever ,I believe , of th e company of h er e ldest daughter . Besides , h is Lordshiph as been a pplied to upon two former occasions withou t gi ving anyredress ; though no circumstances could b e stronger than those broughtaga inst Mr . L The other guardian I consider merely as a tool ,and Mr . O the commander -ih -chief. I am now extreme ly sorryth at I did not turn Mrs . 0 out of the house , and reta in LadyMaria .

“ I am sure your kindness upon examination will do Lady Strathmoreessential service but Reynett is a blundering poor fellow, that woulddo all in h is power to serve us, but h as no head . However, there is onegood thing , which is tha t h e has been a lways kept in th e dark in everyessentia l that concerned Lady Strathmore ’s children , and h is wifeequally so . I t will therefore be prudent , lest they should be examined

,

for you to be as little communica tive to them as possible ; for if they sayanything , they will like ly say too much . All th e service they can do uswill be merely to prove Lady Strathmore ’s state of hea lth and mind .

In a subsequent letter he sa id that , whatever the Chancellor might determine , he was resolved to permit LadyStrathmore and her daughter to do exactly as the ir own

wishes m ay happen to dictate ,”and expressed h is bel ief that

they wished to rema in in “ the ir present asylum .

”H e

127


seems to have persuaded Lady Strathmore ’ s medica l m an,

John Hunter, as wel l as many other people , that her Ladyship ’ s evident disorder

,both of body and of mind , was ent ire ly

due to the suffering she underwent by be ing separated from herchi ldren . H is counse l , John Scott (afterwards LordChance l lor Eldon) , argued to the same effect , with tears inh is eyes

,in court . And when the Lord Chance l lor, unmoved

by th is pathet ic appea l , ordered the young lady to be broughtto England and de l ivered over to her guardians forthwith ,Bowes seems to have so hypnotised his poor wife that when

the friend a lready referred to came over to France to fetchthe child back by order of the Chance l lor she fa inted whenShe saw him and compla ined of the barbarity of the

proceeding . And yet a l l the while , as the whole townlearned in rather dramat ic fashion three months later, h er

disorder of body and mind was due to another cause

a ltogether, and i t was the dearest wish of her heart to bebrought safe ly back to England.

Wri t ing to the Countess of Upper Ossory on February sth ,1785 , Horace Walpole says i n his characteri st ic style

Th e news of my coffee-house , since I began my letter , is that LadyStra thmore e loped last night , taking h er two ma ids with h er ; but noswa in is ta lked of. The town they say is empty ; it certa inly does notproduce its usua l complement of extravagances when one solitarye lopement of a veteran madwoman is all that is at market .”

Two days later the empty town learned something moreof the matter, for on the 7th Lady Strathmore exhibited

art icles of the peace aga inst her husband in the Court of King ’s

Bench for i l l - treatment of her person , and immediate ly

a fterwards entered an act ion aga inst him in the Eccles iast ica l Court for a divorce . How long She had had any suchstep in contemplat ion does not appear ; but on February 4th ,when Bowes was out to dinner, the m en-servants were got

ou t of the way on some pretence or other ; the doors of some

of the rooms were locked , so that it might not be found out

immediate ly that she had fled ; and then , accompanied by

128


instead of lett ing his wife and her daughter do exactly as theywished (which , i t wil l be remembered , is what he had pro

tested to h is friend at the t ime) , his conduct to th e Countesshad been one continued scene of abuse , insu lt , and

cruelty ,”

and that,after their return to England , h e had

burnt her face with a candle , thrust the qu i l l of a pen intoh er tongue, thrown the fire- tongs at her, and beaten her witha stick . The Rev . Samue l Markham ,

chapla in to Bowes

from May, 1778 , to February, 1779 (thi s fine gentlemanseems to have changed h is chapla i ns as often as a modernfine lady changes her ma ids) , deposed that the Countess

behaved to h er husband in a very dut ifu l and obedientmanner, nay, as h e thought

,rather servilely than otherwise ,

but that Bowes was of a very savage disposi t i on and put h imse l f in to a furious passion on the most trivia l occasions . Notonly was he violent to the Countess , but the poor parson had

h ad to give up his appointment on account of violence to

himse l f. On February 25th , he deposed , Mr. Bowes , thinking h is chapla in had stayed too long in the parlour afterdinner, not only abused him by ca l l ing him a vi l la in and a

rasca l , but a lso struck h im severa l hard blows on the face ,head , side , and other parts of h is body, and fin ished up byknocking him down . There was no defence worth consider

i ng , and , of course , the Countess obta ined j udgment in her

favour. Bowes had tried a ll he knew to de lay the proceedings ; and now, in order to cause further delay , be appea led

to th e Arches Court of Canterbury . Before the appea l came

on h is ba i l expired,and hi s securit ies were discharged . Then

be determined that he wou ld take possession of Lady Strathmore by force and get her to sign a paper promising to dropall Opposit ion to h is appea l and to l ive with h im aga in as

h is wife ; this, of course,mere ly that he might st i l l reta in

full control of her fortune . All h is plans at this t ime were

la id over the bottle , for h e sat up drinking hard everynight ; and the resu l t of h is drunken inspirat ion must now

be to ld

130


After the tria l Lady Strathmore , considering herse lf qu itesecure , had removed from Dyer ’ s Bu i ldings to a house i nBloomsbury Square ; but before long sh e and her servantsbecame a larmed by noticing severa l suspicious- lookingpersons lurking about the place, and they knew Bowes we l lenough to suspect that he was probably contemplat ing somenefarious design to her disadvantage . I t turned ou t afterwards that , in addit ion to severa l of his own servants, a

constable whom he had corrupted, and an unscrupu lousattorney, Bowes had conspired with a gentleman namedPeacock , a coll iery agent , to capture Lady S trathmore and

carry her off to one of h is places in the north . When they

were all subsequent ly tried for conspiracy , i t was proved tha tBowes, who assumed the name of Colonel Medison, and

Peacock,who passed by the name of Johnson , took lodgings

together in Norfolk Street , Strand, and that they werea lways going about town disguised and armed with pistols.

Somet imes, in mil itary dress , Bowes was Colonel Medison ;

somet imes, differently att ired , he was a j ust ice of the peacesomet imes

,made up with a large wig and a pa ir of spectacles,

he was a tottering old m an ; and somet imes h e assumed thedress and appearance of a sa i lor. Occas ional ly Bowes and

Peacock wou ld sit and wa it in a coach with the bl inds up inBloomsbury Square . At other t imes h e and Peacock in onecoach , with h is posse of servants , all armed , in another,drove about to Hyde Park Corner, or to Che lsea , or to any

other ne ighbourhood where they imagined they might meetwith Lady S trathmore . But her Ladyship had evidentlybecome too suspicious ; and, in order to put her off h er guard ,Bowes, leaving his subordinates behind in London , rushedoff to Durham . Arrived there , he got up a l i tt le dramat ic

scene , with the assistance of a servant and an accommodatingsurgeon, who, of course , were given some other explanat ionto account for the l i tt le play in which they consented to takepart . Be ing out for a ride, he got off h is horse at a qu ietand convenient spot , and lay down in the road as though he

13 1 K 2


h ad fal len . His servant immediate ly gal loped Off to the

nearest house,and , assuming great agitat ion , expla ined tha t

h is master h ad had a nasty accident, had dislocated hisshou lder and broken his leg, and three of his ribs perhaps

a lso, as wel l as fractured his sku l l . Apparently by the

merest coincidence, the accommodat ing surgeon happened tocome riding by in the very nick of t ime , and ,

a fter bleedingthe sufferer, ordered him to be very carefu l ly removed to

S treat lam Cast le and kept qu ite qu iet , for he was too

dangerou sly i l l to see anybody . Of course he took care thatth e news was not on ly circu lated all over the county, buta l so carried up to London . Then sl ipping out unobserved ,and effectual ly disguised , h e posted off at fu l l speed to rej oinh is fe l low-conspirators in Norfolk Street , Strand , and was

act ively prosecut ing h is nefarious scheme in person when

everybody supposed him to be la id up in bed at S treat lamCastle . But he seemed to make no progress towards the

accomplishment of h is purpose unti l he conce ived the

bri l l iant idea of corrupting a constable named Lucas and

gett ing him to insinuate h imself into the confidence of the

Countess. H e got at the m an through h is wife . They werepoor , and h e was l ibera l of his money . H e posed as an

inj ured and outraged husband,and managed to secure the

wife ’ s sympathy . She sa id he was a most charming m an,

and i t was a great shame he shou ld be so badly used . Why,when one of her ch ildren was i l l be ca l led to see i t every day,and gave i t the medicine with his own hands. H e was as

mild and meek as a lamb , as generou s as a prince , and soforth . Then he promised to let Lucas have some houses

,

belonging to Lady Strathmore , at a peppercorn rent , and to

get him a comfortable place i n the Customs. By these

means h e induced the m an to go to Lady S trathmore and ,

in h is capac ity of constable , warn h er of the danger she was

in from certa in evi l ly -disposed persons who were lurking

about . The ba i t took ; her Ladyship was ve ry grateful ;and when Lucas offered his services to protect her whenever

13 2


H e advised Mary Morgan to go away qu ietly , as there wasa warrant out aga inst h er a lso ; and ca l l ing upon Capta i nFarrer to a id and assist h im in the King ’s name, requestedLady S trathmore to re -enter her carriage . Rather bewildered

by all this , Lady Strathmore a sked if Capta in Farrer might

accompany h er to Lord Mansfield’

s, and , this being agreedto , she re-entered her carriage , a strange coachman and footm an mounted the box , and , fol lowed by the rest of theconfederates, they drove off at a rapid pace . Farrer doesnot seem to have rea l ised that they were not trave l l ing in thedirection of Lord Mansfield

’

s unti l , when they reachedH ighgate Hil l, Mr. Bowes put in an appearance , requestedhim to a l ight , got in and seated himse lf beside Lady S trath

more , and shouted to the strange coachman to drive on with

a ll speed . Then , of course, the rather stupid Capta inhastened back to London and gave the a larm .

An appl icat ion was made in the King ’s Bench as soon aspossible , and on the 13 th two of Lord Mansfield

’

s t ipstaffs

set off for the north to effect a rescue . But Bowes had threedays ’ start of them , and he had probably counted on the a lmosthypnotic influence which h e had previously exercised overh is wife to enable him to accomplish hi s purpose before hecou ld be overtaken . She screamed “ Murder ! ” struggled ,and broke the carriage windows , but without avai l . They

attracted much curious not ice at severa l p laces on the roadbut nobody felt cal led upon to interfere, as Bowes declared

sh e was a poor unhappy madwoman , whom it was unfortu

nately necessary to place under restra int . At Barnet they got

into a four-horse post -cha ise which there awa ited them , and

cont inued the i r j ourney with increased speed . About noon

next day one of Bowes ’s servants rode up to the “Ange l inn

at Doncaster, and ordered horses to be got ready instant ly

for his master’s carriage . Ha lf an hour later the carriagedrove up , and while th e horses were changing the landlordhanded some cakes to Bowes, who sa id the lady wanted them .

Then , as soon as the horses were put to , they flew on their

134


way northward . At B ranby Moor the lady was shown intoa room for a short t ime, attended by a chamberma id

,while

Bowes stood sentry at the door. A Simi lar ha lt was a l lowedher at Ferry Bridge , and at each place Bowes and h is

villa inous- looking attendants gave out that She was an unfor

tunate m ad lady . She re lated afterwards that as they drovea long Bowes endeavoured to persuade her to Sign a paper

,

which h e had with him , in which sh e was made to promiseto stop a ll proceedings in the Ecclesiast ica l Court and consentto l ive with him as h is wife. When she refused , he struck

her wi th h is clenched fists, and present ing a loaded pistol ath er h ead ,

'

threatened to take her l ife . When they arrived atStreatlam Cast le , however, at midnight on November r 1th ,

she st i l l rema ined firm in h er refusa l to Sign . When he had

got h er into the castle and barricaded the entrance to prevent

a rescue , he renewed his exhortat ions , and on her pers istentrefusa l beat her violently . After that she saw no more

of him for a whole day, and on h is reappearance he looked

and spoke more ca lm ly ; but when he inqu ired whether sh ehad thought better of i t , and had now become reconciled to

th e idea of resuming a dut ifu l domest ic life as h is wife , She

answered in the same terms as before , whereupon h e flewinto a more violent passion than ever, and pu l l ing out hi sp istol , bade her say h er last prayers, for i f She did not

instant ly consent he wou ld assuredly kil l her. Then thepoor miserable woman went down upon h er knees, sa id herprayers, and cal led on him to fireHaving thus fa i led to force her to s ign or to resume

cohabitat ion, and fearfu l of be ing arrested , Bowes determinedto carry her abroad . But that was by no means so easy abusiness as he could have wished . Rumours of what wasgoing on had got abroad, and the coll iers of the c ounty

were assem b l ing for a rescue. When the t ipstaffs arrivedthey found a couple of hundred people or more surrounding

the castle ; but they were refused admittance, and had to

serve the wri t of habeas corpus by pushing it under one of

I 3S


the doors . Although thus driven into a t ight corner, Boweswou ld not give in . H e dressed up two of his domest ics to

personate himse lf and the Countess, and ordered them toShow themselves , as though engaged in amicable conversa

t ion, at one of the upper windows. This ruse caused the

people to disperse qu iet ly to thei r homes , and enabled him

to get away from Streatlam without observa tion . I n the

middle of the night he made Lady Strathmore get ou t of bed ,and when she had put on some of her clothes h e completed

her a tt ire with an old bonnet be longing to one of the servants,and a man ’s great-coat . Then , mount ing her on horseback

behind him ,h e rode off to th e cottage of one of h is not very

reputable dependants , where he once more endeavoured ,a lthough aga i n unava i l ingly , to procure her signature bythreats and blows . At daybreak next morn ing h e m ounted

h er aga in behind him , and , after a terrible j ourney over d isma l

heaths and wild hills covered with snow, about four o’clock

on th e fol lowing morn ing they reached the house ofThoma sBowes, h is attorney, at Darl ington . While there , She wasshut up in a dark room and threatened , whi le a red -hot poker

was he ld to h er breast , with a m ad doctor and a stra i t wa ist

coat . But a ll threats were i n va in , and next day he set ou t

with h er b ehind him on horseback once more . The wholecounty was now up after h im , however, and escape was

impossible , notwithstanding that be avoided a ll iroads and

took h is famished and perishing captive across inoors and

ploughed fields and hedges and ditches . A constable of theparish of Neasham deposed that when h e cam e up withBowes, whose horse

’

s bridle was be ing he ld by a countrylabourer, the prisoner had one pistol in his be lt and anotherin h is hand , which he presented and threatened to fire with .

But the constable promptly knocked him off his horse with a

stout cudge l , and perhaps gave him an additioha l blow or

two to keep him quiet , for after h e had been can'

ied in to anadjacent a lehouse i t was necessary to send for a surgeon tolook to hi s wounds . Lady S trathmore , attended by her

136


When he wa lked through Westminster Ha l l , bent a lmostdouble and supported by two m en, he was sa luted withh isses and when his coun sel argued that there was no properaccommodat ion in the prison for a m an so seriously il l as h eevidently was, the marsha l remarked in a loud and s ign ificanttone of voice that he cou ld qu ite easi ly accommodate the

gentleman , whereat everybody in court laughed loudly.

H e rema ined safely under lock and key therefore until , on

May 3oth i n the following year, he and h is accomplices were

charged before Mr. Justice Bu l ler and a specia l j ury with

a conspiracy aga inst th e R ight Hon . Mary Eleanor Bowes,commonly ca l led Countess of S trathmore .

”The tria l lasted

from nine in the morning t il l ha lf-past four in the afternoon ,when , after a few minu tes ’ considerat ion and without leaving

the box , th e j ury brought in a verdict of gu i l ty aga inst a ll

the prisoners. The sentences were of various degrees of

severity, and the prisoners were committed to Newgate or

to the King ’s Bench according to the ir status. Bowes wascondemned to pay a fine of £300 , to be imprisoned in theKing ’s Bench for three years, and after that t ime to givesecurity for h is good behaviour for fourteen years , himse lf in

and two suret ies in each .

Of course when h is appea l aga inst the decree of divorcecame on in the Court of Arches the decision was given aga insth im . But what was of even more importance to him thanthis was the resu lt of another suit which was insti tuted by

the trustees of the Countess in the Common Pleas , for uponthis depended whether at the end of h is term of three years

h e shou ld come out of pri son a wea lthy m an or whether he

shou ld be entire ly crushed . They moved to have set aside ,on the ground that it had been obta ined under duress, the deedwhich she had executed on May I st , 1777 , which revoked her

ante -nupt ia l deed and vested a ll her estates in her husband .

I t was shown that this deed of revocat ion excluded th e

Countess from dispos ing of the most trifl ing part of her own

property , that it did not even make provision for any children

13 8


which she might have by Bowes, and that it was a ltogethersuch a deed as no friend or responsible adviser would havepermitted h er to Sign ; and i t was Shown that this unreason

able deed had been extorted from h er by crue lty . Much of

the crue lty proved in the divorce case was inadmiss ible , as

the evidence was restricted to il l -usage prior to the execut ionof th e deed , which , as we have seen , was signed less than fourmonths after th e marriage ; but sh e was able to prove thatfrom the very first h er husband had deprived h er of l iberty,that the u se of her carriage had been denied her unless with

h is express permission , tha t h er own old servants had beendischarged , and the new ones ordered not to obey her com

mands or even attend the ringing of h er be l l , that sh e durstnot write a letter without his inspect ion nor look into one

addressed to herself unti l he had previously perused it , that

She was treated with foul language and often chast ised withblows . Thus had the

“ dear youth ” Of her poem fulfi l led

the promise made to her mother that he would dedicate h isl ife to Lady Strathmore ’s service . Needless to say, the deedof revocation was set aside , th e ante -nupt ia l deed declared to

be i n operat ion , and Lady Strathmore consequently placedonce aga in in possess ion of her own fortune .

This gave Bowes h is coup de grace, for i t meant not onlythat he would no longer have the fingering of a penny of theCountess’s money, but that he wou ld be charged with all

that he had drawn from her estates during the ten years tha th e had been in wrongful possession of them , and would consequently have to pay up this large sum before he cou ld bel iberated from h is prison . At first he sank into extremedespondency, for h e saw nothing but pri son before him for

the rema inder of h is l ife . As a matter of fact , he did rema inin prison until h is death , twenty -two years afterwards , passingfrom the state rooms which he occupied at first to the ordinaryapartments within the wa l ls, and then l iving for about thelast twelve years “ within the ru les ,

”as i t was ca lled

,in St .

George ’ s Fields . After a while , however, he pu l led himse l f

I S9


together and determined to enj oy l i fe i n his own characterist icfashion SO far as the restrict ions of h is domicile permitted .

H e had h is ha l f-pay, and , a lthough it was encumbered withmortgages , he st i l l reta ined his own estate of Benwel l . H e

tried to become acqua inted with everybody of importance or

anybody h e imagined might be made usefu l to h im withinthe wa l ls ; but Foot declares there were many pri soners whorefused to associate with such a crue l scoundrel , a l thoughh e he ld ou t the temptat ion of very good dinners . Whateverthe cooking m ay have been , however, th e dinners cannothave been otherwise very a ttractive , for we are informedthat h e played freakish tricks upon h is guests and had an

ingen ious way of making the whole of h is company drunkaga inst the ir i ncl inat ions . H e would tel l them to he lp themse lves to Spiri ts from th e bott les on the table , and thenhimse lf officiou sly pour the di lut ing water into the ir glassesfrom a tea -kettle ; bu t he had instructed h is servant to fi l l

th e kettle , not with pla in water, but with a mixture of hal f

water and ha lf spirit , so that the more h is guests ins isted upondilut ing the ir drink the more i ntoxicated they became .

Not long after h is committa l to the King’

s Bench , Bowesdesired Foot , who was continuously in professiona l attendanceon him , to visi t a young lady, Miss Polly S the daughter

of a fe l low-prisoner, at th e lodgings of her mother i n Lant

S treet . What was th e obj ect of this visit Foot does notsay, but he te l ls us that M iss S was a very innocent andcharming young lady, who had attracted Bowes ’s attent ionas sh e came to and fro on visi ts to her father, a gentleman

of some landed property who had got himsel f into difficul t iesby an intemperate devot ion to hunt ing. By paying attent ion

and making promises to the father, and by flattery and

presents to the girl herse l f, h e at last induced her to takeup h er quarters with him . Sh e l itt le knew what that meant

,

for Foot assures us that Bowe s kept h er “ l iteral ly a prisonerin h is house from the year 1787 to the day of h is death .

”

S he had five chi ldren by him ; and a lthough the surgeon

140


was defea ted . Abou t the same t ime , however , fortune

favoured him in two lesser ways . H e rece ived an accessionto h is i ncome i n the Shape of a freehold in Ire land worthabou t £300 a year

,and he was permitted to move out of the

wa lls of the pri son to a house in London Road , S t . George’s

Fie lds, within the ru les ,” whither h e betook himsel f in

company with Miss Polly S and the five children . H e

was a lways prosecut ing,or threaten ing to prosecute, a su i t

of some kind ; and , with his usua l cunning, he often managedto obta in money or credit on the strength of th e probableresults . One of his l it t le tricks was to employ a Copyist towri te letters to or abou t himsel f. One purport ing to befrom Lord Strathmore , and offering him favourable terms of

compromise, he carried about in h is pocket, and occasiona l ly

produced by way of proof that he would soon be in possession of a considerable sum of money . Any distant creditor

who proved undu ly troublesome wou ld be apt to receive a

letter , apparent ly coming from some friend of Bowes, conta in ing the in format ion that tha t harassed and penniless

gentleman h ad shot himse l f, and that the writer had j ustbeen to see h is body we ltering in h is blood .

In J une , 1807 , he brought th e last of his act ions , which isdescribed as a su it to ascerta in whether the deed of

revocat ion set aside in 1788 h ad rea l ly been Obta ined by

duress, as represented by Lady S trathmore . Of course he

was not successfu l ; but i t probably cost him nothing, andperhaps even enabled him to ra ise a l i tt le money by a Sidewind during the proceedings . As he grew older h is habitsgrew baser. Foot te l ls u s that during the last e ight yearsof h is l ife “ he scarcely ever saw or spoke to M iss S

and that he a l lowed her but one mea l a day.

”H e kept

no servant , and was so n iggardly that there was no broom

or brush in the house ,“so that h is daughters had to go

down on the i r knees and gather up the dust with the i rhands .

”H e u sed to read a newspaper in the tavern , but

he never possessed a book , and Foot was of opinion that be

142

MARY ELEANOR,COUNTESS OF STRATHMORE

had never read one of any kind from the hour h e went intoprison to the very last . H e survived to the age of s ixtythree, and died on January 16th , 18 10 .

I t is strange that Bowes , by h is Pecksniffian hypocrisy ,Should have been able to impose himself on a good manypeople for some years as a m an of respectabil ity and honour.

H e was not mere ly an unscrupulous fortune -hunter : heconsidered all fema les as natura l game , and hunted themdown as so many fera naturee . H e did not know what friendship meant , and those who were for a t ime dece ived by h is

superficia l agreeableness and plausibi l ity invariably sufferedfor i t afterwards . Not only were h is accomplices abandonedto their fate without h is l ift ing a finger to help them ,

Peacock being left to go into bankruptcy and h is va letPrevost to shift as best he cou ld with a broken col lar-boneand a blasted character, but even the one friend who had

been so ready to he lp h im in financia l and lega l matters was

treated by him with contumely as soon as it’

su ited his

purpose to do so . This gentleman'

s case was a pecu l iarlyhard one

,for a lthough h e had prevented the abdu ction of

Lady Maria Jane,preserved the family j ewe ls for the

Strathmore family,and made two j ourneys t o France at his

own cost in order to get Lady Anna Maria restored to h er

guardians, he was not on ly regarded by Bowes as an enemy,but a t the same t ime suspected and censured by the other

part ies as one of h is secret accomplices, thus Showing , as

Foot philosophica l ly remarks,that “

reputat ions m ay be

l ikened to th e posit ive and negat ive powers of e lectric ity,where th e best-disposed m an m ay lose h is character by toonear an approximat ion to a bad one . I t is not probablethat there was ever any inscript ion to the memory of

Andrew Robinson Bowes in the vau lt of St . George ’s Church ,in the Borough , where he was buried ; otherwise the

following words , i n which h is character was summed up bythe medica l m an who had attended him for thirty- three

years, might have provided an appropriate epitaph : He

I 43


was cowardly , in sidious , hypocrit ica l , tyrann ic , mean , violent,se lfish

,dece itfu l , j ea lous, revengefu l , inhuman , and savage ,

withou t a Single counterva i l ing qua l ity .

” But it is a very

qua i nt not ion of the good doctor’s that the mere recital of

such a person ’s villain ies shou ld have a mora l effect upon

future generat ions .

144

BAMPFYLDE MOORE CAREw .

F rom a n 0710 111211310 .

b 1\

A PROFE S S IONAL BEGGAR— BAMPF YLDE

MOORE CAREW


and , under certa in condit ions , vagrants might be handedover as servants or apprentices for seven years to anybodywill ing to rece ive them e ither in Great Brita in or in the

planta t ions beyond the sea s. As a matter of fact , whole

cargoes of such poor wretches were annua l ly shipped off and

sold to the planters of what were then the Brit ish colon ies inAmerica . Such be ing the condit ion of things, mendicancy ,i t might be thought , was hardly the profession that wou ld

have insuperable attractions for a young gentleman of good

family in Devonshire . Yet so i t was ; for Bampfylde -MooreCarew, a scion of one of the oldest and most respectablefamilies i n th e west of England , fol lowed this occupat ion for

forty years or more , in spite of all sorts of inducements thatwere he ld out to tempt him into a more reputable way of

l ife ; and during the whole of that t ime he managed to keep

the people of the western counties in a state of amusedwonderment by his ingen iou s exploits

,going about in a

variety of disgu ises, now as a shipwrecked mariner or a

flooded-out farmer or a burnt -out tradesman , now as a dis

tressed Quaker or a non -j uring clergyman , one day posing

as a miserable cripple , another day as a wandering lunat ic ,and somet imes even changing h is att ire for that of the other

sex and passing himse lf off for a tottering O ld woman .

In 1745 , when he was fifty-two years of age and had beena celebrated character in h is nat ive Devon and the adjacentcount ies for thirty years or more, there appeared at Exeter al it tle quarto volume of 152 pages profess ing to conta in the“ Life and Adventures ” of this noted stroller and dogstea ler “

as re lated by himse lf during h is passage to thePlantat ions in America . The anonymous editor of th isl itt le book makes no bones about ca l l ing Carew a rogue and

impostor, and hints that the following narrat ive of his

exploits was drawn from him partly by vanity and part ly bywant of money ; yet a l though the credibi l ity of the storiesmight

,therefore, be thought l iable to grave suspic ion , many

of them ,he says , must be so we l l known to everybody in

148

BAMPFYLDE -MOORE CAREW

that part of the country that , as th e public can attest theaccuracy of these , they will not , perhaps , be much incl inedto quest ion the veracity of the rema inder . H e would havehad no hand in th e publ icat ion , he declares, but for h is be l iefthat the book might be of u se i n guarding we l l -meaningpersons aga inst s imilar imposit ions in th e future and , quite inthe style of a member of the yet unborn Chari ty Organisat ionSociety

,he takes up h is parable aga inst indiscr iminate a lms

giving as be ing mischievous and a l together undeserving of

the name of charity . A few years after th e appearance ofthis l itt le book at Exeter a somewha t similar volume ,ent it led An Apology for the Life of Mr . Bampfylde-MooreCarew, etc. , was issued in London , be ing printed for R .

Goadby and W. Owen , booksel ler at Temple B ar . This“Apology ” appears to have been a great success , for numerousedit ions of i t , with additiona l stories and other embe l l ishments, appeared during th e latter ha lf of the e ighteenthcentury. I t is not , as bibliographers have too hast i ly assum ed ,a mere repri nt of the Exeter volume , for, besides omittingmany stories told in th e earl ier book and conta in ing muchthat the other does not , the Spiri t and tone of the re lat ionare a ltogether different . Tim perley

’

s D ict ionary ofPrinters ” states that i t was written by Robert Goadby ,and a Tiverton correspondent of Notes and Queries in1 857 wrote to say h e had heard that it was written byMrs. Goadby from the re lat ion of B . M . Carew himsel f.On the face of it , this seems like ly enough We m ay be

certa in that the King of the Mumpers , hav ing beenpersuaded in a moment of temporary depression and impecuniosity to part with a recita l of some of h is curiousprofessional exploits, would be far from sat isfied , especia l lyas he had then no intention of ret iring from business , to findthat recita l accompanied by disparaging comments and

warnings to the charitable aga inst be ing sim ilarly imposedupon in future . But if he got Robert Goadby or h is wife toput together this l itt le book by way of counterblast to the

I 49

NOBLE DAMES AND NOTABLE“

MEN

Exeter volume, his selection of a h istriograph er was an

unfortuna te one , for the Apology,

as an apology , is verypoor, consist ing ma inly in gushing eulogies of those gulls

who were most free with the ir money, i n interj ected observa

t ions on the beauty of tenderness and compass ion , and infervent recommendat ions to its readers not to deny themse lves the enj oyment of that most Godl ike and pleasing of

a ll pleasures,”the luxury of re l ieving the distressed . With

the Apology as an apology , however, we need not here

concern ourse lves ; and , as there appears to be no reason fordoubting the substantial accuracy of the stories re lated in

e ither of these l itt le volumes, there i s no need to part icularise

i n every case from which of them any i tem of informat ion is

drawn .

Bampfylde was born with a Silver spoon in h is mouth ; and

we are a ssured that when he was christened, in Ju ly , 1693 ,

never was there known a more splendid appearance of

gentlemen and ladies of the first rank and qua l ity at any

baptism in the west of England .

” His godfathers , Mr. HughBampfylde and Maj or Moore , had , it appears , an amiable

a ltercat ion as to whose name should have precedence ; and

as they tossed for it , and Mr. Bampfylde won , he presented

the infant with a handsome piece of p late whereon was

engraved in large letters Bampfylde-Moore Carew .

”The

boy ’ s father, the Rev . Theodore Carew,rector of Bickle igh ,

near Tiverton , had severa l other ch ildren,both sons and

daughters, who all grew up to be respectable members ofsociety, and never did anything else worthy of ment ion ;but young Bampfylde, who was sent to school at Tivertonat the age of twe lve , made such progress i n h is studiesduring h is first four years there that i t was hoped he wou ldone day make some figure i n the Church . At the Tiverton

school he l ikewise became very int imate with a number of

l ively young gentlemen of rank belonging to Devonsh ire and

the adj acent count ies , and made even more surpri sing progressin hunt ing than in the classics . The boys somehow managed

150


treasure was buried underneath a certa in laurel tree in her

garden , but that , as her favouring planet was not in theascendant for three days to come , she must on no account

begin to dig before then . Of course th e gipsy wanted h isfee at once , and the lady was so overj oyed at the prospectbefore her that She handed him the sum of thirty gu ineas .

Three days later, when h er digging had revea led nothing butth e roots of her laure l tree, needless to say , Carew and his

company were nowhere to be found .

The parents of Bampfylde and th e other lads were natura l lyi n great d istress but

,in spite of numerous advert i sements ,

noth ing cou ld be learned about any one of them unti l after

the exp irat ion of S ix months, when Coleman and Mart inreturned to the ir homes and told what they had been doing .

Messengers were then despatched to all the a lehouses and

other known gipsy resorts in the west of England , but no

inte l l igence of Bampfylde cou ld be obta ined ; and i t was notunt i l a year later that th e young prodiga l put in an appearance , being moved thereto , as h e declared , not because he

was t ired of h is compan ions , but because he had heard of the

distress into which his parents were plunged on his account .H e was received with open arms, the fatted ca lf was kil led ,the church bel l s were rung

, and the whole parish gave it se l f

up to festive rej o icing in sympathy with its good rector .

Everything that h is parents and friends could th ink of to make

hom e agreeable to h im was done bu t the vagabond streakin his const itut ion was too strong to be eradicated , for, afterrema in ing only two months

,h e stole qu ietly away to rej o in

h is wandering associates , and was ceremoniously readmittedto the community at the ir next genera l assembly. Coleman ’sparents , not unnatural ly, thought that the ir son wou ld becontent with the roving l ife of a sa i lor, and accordinglyplaced h im in the navy ; but the same fascinat ion wasstrong upon him a lso , and before long Carew had th e sat isfact ion of welcoming his old schoolfel low once more as a

trave l l ing compan ion .

152


Carew’

s profess ional d isguises were manifold , and hismake -up must have been as wel l studied as that of an

actor,for in one character or another he frequently vis ited

without detect ion those who were we l l acqua inted with him ,

even going boldly to the rectory at Bickle igh and answering

th e quest ions of h is own father and mother, who a lwaysinquired anxiously of any wanderer for news of the ir missing

son. H e took much pride in h is abil ity in th is l ine , and

re lates that he once ra ised a contribut ion twice i n one dayfrom a certa in Mr. Jones mere ly because h e had heard that

gentleman declare that it was impossible for anybody to be

so dece ived . In th e morn ing , with sooty face , lea thern apron ,woollen cap , and dej ected countenance , he obta ined rel ief as

an unfortunate blacksm ith whose a l l had been consumed byfire ; in the afternoon he aga in extracted money as a pa leand

'

s ickly- looking t inner, supported on crutches , whoprofessed to be tota l ly disabled by the damps of the minesand compel led to solic it charity for his wife and seven sma l lchildren . Whenever h e heard of a fire , in town or vi llage ,Carew instantly pa id a visi t to the place , and having acqu iredfull informat ion as to th e names and famil ies, the trades and

circumstances, of the sufferers by it,first artfu l ly s inged h is

coat and burnt a hole in h is hat , and then tramped thesurrounding country represent ing himself as one of theseunfortunate persons, who had been burnt out and lost h isa ll . Somet imes h e managed to induce a sympathising personof creditable reputat ion to wri te him a letter recommendingh is case Often h e forged such letters himse lf, as he did a lsopasses and test imonia ls from just ices of the peace , whoses ignatures he copied from the l icences of th e inns at whichhe was in the habit of staying . One of the most profitablelays ” was that of a shipwrecked mariner ; but finding h istechnica l knowledge insufficient for the proper support ofthis part , h e determined to make a voyage of discovery .

Having apparently saved enough money for the purpose , bepersuaded h is old schoolfe l low Escott to bear him company

I S3

NOBLE DAMES AND NOTABLE MEN .

and th e two of them took ship from Dartmouth to Newfoundland , decently habited and paying the ir own passage . Bythis means they not only acqu ired familiarity with nautica llanguage and th e deta i ls of a seaman ’s l ife , but by visit ing

all the settlements, both Engl ish and French , and informing

themselves of the names, characters , and c ircumstances of

a ll the inhabitants of any note i n Newfoundland , they la id in

a further stock of informat ion which was capable of be ingturned to pecuniary account . After the i r return from this

expedition Carew went about in the character of a ship

wrecked mariner whose vessel had been lost when homewardbound from Newfoundland , and be longed to Poole , or toDartmouth , or to any other port according as the newspapersreported the wreck of any vessel connected with th e distr ict .

But deeming his educat ion st il l incomplete , the nextthing Carew did was to apprentice h imse l f to a noted rat

catcher, who a lso pretended to cure madness in cats and

dogs . Bampfylde had a lready some reputat ion as a dog

stea ler,

and often took hounds and setters from one

ne ighbourhood to se l l them at a good price i n another . I nfact , from h is schoolboy days he h ad been supposed topossess some mysterious secret which caused dogs to followh im as chi ldren fol lowed the pied piper of Hame l in . H e

spent two years trave l l ing about with this m an,and found

the business of rat - catch ing,combined with dog -stea l ing ,

both a pleasant and profitable occupation . But , change and

nove lty having sti l l greater attract ions , he presently set upas a rag merchant . As this trade , however, somewhatrestricted his movements, invo lved the rent ing of some sortof warehouse, and hampered him with a donkey and cart ,he soon forsook it and incont inently turned himself into aTom 0

’ Bedlam . With no shirt to his back, without shoes

or stock ings , covered only with a blanket or an old and

ragged clergyman ’ s gown , wearing a cap of fox -Skin with thelong bushy ta i l hanging down behind , h is beard Shaved on

one side of the face only, carrying in his hand a large born,

154


IV.

We enjoy our ease and rest ;To th e fie ld we are not prest ;And when taxes are increas’d ,We are not a penny cess ’d .

V .

Nor will any go to lawW ith a Maunder for a strawAll which happiness

,he braggs,

I s only owing to h is rags !

Although now,owing to the dign ity of his office , Carew

was privi leged from going ou t on begging excurs ions , his

zea l never slackened , and his exploits were as successful as

ever. But occasiona l ly , when th e whim took him , he wou ld

make a very gentee l appearance .

” Having a curiosity tosee Newcast le and th e coa l district , he trave l led th ither ,decently att ired , and put up at reputable lodgings , where h e

passed for the mate of a vesse l be longing to Dartmouth .

While there he became acqua inted with an apothecarynamed Gray , who had a very Charming daughter, with whomthe vagrant instant ly fe l l i n love . I f he h ad made h isaddresses to the young lady in his “ king ly habil iments , he

wou ld doubtless have been driven ou t of the place withscorn ; but being a good - looking, we l l - bu ilt young fe l low,

rather handsomely dressed , and possessed of a remarkablyoily tongue, he had l itt le difficu lty in persuading M iss Grayto e lope with him . They were duly married , and spent the ir

honeymoon at Bath , making considerable Show and mixing in

the society of the place as an evidently very we l l-to -do youngcouple . They then went on a visit to an uncle of Carew

’

s,

a clergyman at Portchester, who rece ived them with greathospital i ty , and offered to make Bampfylde h is he ir i f he wou ld

abandon his gipsy l ife and sett le down respectably . But

the vagrant was not to be persuaded . When Mrs . Carewdiscovered who it was She had married She was at first

extreme ly disgusted ; but as her husband ’s business was

156


evidently a good money-making concern , and as he at onceproposed to make her treasurer, She quickly became reconciled to it , and even occasiona l ly gave a hand in th e businessherse l f. Somet imes She travel led about with him

,but the

usua l plan was for him to leave her for a fortnight or so at a

t ime at some lodging-house or in n and return to her therewith the profits of h is excursion .

Of course nobody could ply the “ mumper ’s ” tradewithout encountering occasiona l reverses . Carew admitsthat he was twice publicly whipped and severa l t imes clappedinto prison . H e even had th e i l l - luck to be arrested once inmistake for another m an, a runaway blacksmith who hadmade off with severa l of h is customers ’ horses . Whenbrought up for examinat ion next day, he had l ittle difficu ltyin proving that he was not the defau lting blacksmith

,but

Bampfylde -Moore Carew, King of the Mumpers, and the

j ust ice was consequently about to order h is release , when a

m an in court stood up and ins isted on h is be ing committed

as a rogue and an impostor, a l leging that he had seen himand been defrauded by him the previous day in Bishop

’ sNim pton, when he pretended to be one John Pa lmer, ofAbbotsbury , and obta ined money from several persons by

the exhibit ion of cert ificates to that effect , the Signatures towhich he h ad doubtless forged . Being therefore committedto Exeter gaol , Carew immediately sent for his wife , and

instructed her to go into th e debtors ’ ward, opposite to wherehe was confined , and find out the names , characters , and

circumstances of those who were confined there . When sh e

had done this he fixed upon a certa in Mr . Maddick , who was

of a reputable family, wel l known throughout the county,and whose present circumstances were more than ordinarilydeplorable ; and when Mrs . Carew had gathered a ll the

informat ion sh e cou ld concern ing h is place and family and

misfortunes, sh e went about pretending to be h is sister and

sol icit ing contribut ions for h is re l ief. Every three or fourdays She brought what She thus collected , not to poor

I S7


Maddick the debtor , but to Carew the mumper and dogstea ler, who was thus wel l provided for as long as hi simprisonment lasted . Luck ily for him a lso , when he wasbrought up before the just ices at quarter sessions some of

them happened to be old schoolfe l lows of his at Tiverton ,who not only let him off withou t punishment , but , after

making kind inqu iries after Mart in and Coleman and Escott ,i nvited him to dinner at the ir inn , and subscribed severa lpounds amongst them to help h im on his way. But thej ust ices were not invariab ly friendly, and an encounter withone of them changed th e field of his operat ions for some t ime .

Squ ire I ncledon, of Barnstaple , owed him a grudge , and got

him committed to Exeter gaol two months or more before hecou ld be brought up for trial . Then he was brought before

a host ile bench and sentenced to transportat ion for seven

years . “ Thus,

”excla ims h is apologist , in comica l heroics,

thus sudden and unexpected fe l l the mighty Caesar, themaster of th e world ; and j ust so affrighted Priam looked when

the shade of Hector drew the curta in s and told h im that

Troy was taken .

”

Carew and about a hundred other convicts were packed onboard the juliana , Capta in Froude commander , and, in consequence of bad weather, took as long as e leven weeks to

reach Maryland . When at last anchor was cast in Miles’s

R iver, the capta i n fired a gun as s igna l to the planters tocome aboard and buy his cargo of convicts . The colon ia ls ’

first inqu i ry was, as usual , for news from home, and the

capta in informed them that , j ust before he left , war had been

declared aga inst Spa in . Carew’

s h istriographer never by

any chance mentions a date , but this i tem of news enables usto fix th e year, for as Wa lpole declared war aga in st Spa in inOctober , 1739 , Carew must have arrived in Maryland early in

1740 , when he was in h is forty - Seventh year. The colon ia l s’

next inqu iry was whether the capta in had brought them a

good supply of carpenters , j oiners, blacksmiths , weavers , andta i lors . The most useful art isans were soon sold ; but , as

158


liberal assistance everywhere . In one town h e found thegreat preacher Whitefield holding forth to a vast concourseof people , who had come from a ll parts of the country tohear him . The ment ion of this c ircumstance aga in enablesus to fix an approximate date to the mumper’ s narra t ive ,and to some extent it confirms the truth of h is story, for weknow tha t Whitefie ld went to America i n October, 1739 , andthat for e ighteen months following he went about preaching through Maryland , V irgin ia , Carol ina , and Georgia .

Benjamin Frankl in , in h is Autobiography, tel l s us of onepart icu lar in which the great preacher resembled our friendthe mumper, viz .

,in an extraordinary facu lty for conj uring

the money out of his hearers ’ pockets . Franklin h ad d isagreed with Wh itefield ’s project of bu i lding an orphanagein Georgia , and had refused to contribute to the scheme ;bu t he te l ls u s

I happened soon a fter to a ttend one of h is sermons,in the course of

which I perceived h e intended to finish with a collection, and I confi

dently resolved that h e should get nothing from m e . I h ad in mypocket a handful of copper money , three or four si lver dollars, and fivepistoles in gold . As h e proceeded I began to soften , and concluded togive th e copper. Another stroke of h is oratory made m e ashamed oftha t , and determined m e to give the s ilver ; and he finished so admirablytha t I emptied my pocket wholly into the collector ’s dish , gold and a ll .

I t would have been extreme ly interest ing if we cou ld have

had a l ike account of Carew ’

s effect upon Franklin , but

apparently the mumper never made an attack upon him .

H e applied to the preacher, however , sending in a writtenpetition , on account of the difficulty of reaching him through

the crowd of his admirers, sett ing forth that h e was one JohnMoore

,son of a clergyman , who had been kidnapped and

taken into the Havannah , whence he had escaped , and was

now anxious to return to h is friends in England . Whitefield

saw h im , and told him that such misfortunes happened by

the wi ll of God and must be submitted to with pat ience and

res ignat ion , but at the same t ime he took out his pocket

book and presented Carew with a note for £4. Then the

160


vagabond went on to Philadelphia , where he ca l led OnWill iam Penn , who gave him money and engaged with thecapta in of a homeward -bound ship to carry him to Englandfree of charge . But Carew was not yet ready for a homeward voyage, as he wished first to see New York and otherplaces . H e notes th e fact that at Penn

’

s house the door wasOpened by a negro with a s i lver col lar round h is neck sim i larto the iron one from which the friendly Indians had re l ievedh is own.

At length he took ship for England , and the vessel , havinga favourable wind , ran from New London to Lundy in a

month and three days. The sa i lors, pleased with their quickpassage , were very j oyfu l , anticipat ing all sorts of j ubilat ion

as soon as they got ashore but when the pilot came aboard

he informed th e master that there was bad news for h is crew,

as Capta in Goodere , of the Ruby m an-of-war, which was thenlying in the King ’s Road , was pressing every m an he couldlay hands on. On hearing this Carew immediately prickedh is arms and chest with a need le , and rubbed in bay sa lt and

gunpowder,in order to give himse lf the appearance of having

the sma l lpox . Then h e lay down in h is hammock , with a

blanket round him , groaning and pretending to be very sick ,by which means, when a l ieutenant from the Ruby cameaboard and peremptor i ly demanded all th e crew , th e artfu lmumper was the only one who was not taken . This m usthave happened about th e close of the year 1740 , and i t i srather strange that ou r mumper does not mention the factthat Capta in Goodere murdered h is brother, S ir JohnGoodere

, Bart . , on board the Ruby at that same place i nJanuary, 174 1 , and was duly hanged therefor after tria l at

the ensu ing assizes . As soon as Carew was put ashore hewent to a place ca l led Mendicants ’ Ha l l to obta in news of

his wife, and after he had found her h e pa id a visi t toBickle igh ; then , h is foot be ing upon h is na t ive heath , heresumed with gusto his beloved profession of mumping .

One day he was a poor shipwrecked mariner ; the next ,161 M


perhaps, habited in gown , cassock , and band, he was a nonjuring clergyman who had been turned ou t of his benefice ,sol icit ing charity on beha l f of his de l ica te wife and starving

chi ldren . Then , in a pla in dress and broad-brimmed hat and

extraordinari ly demure of countenance , hewou ld go thee”

- ing

and “ thou” - ing about as a Quaker who had m et with un

deserved misfortunes . On one occasion , disguised as a tinker,

h e had an a ltercat ion with his brother, the vicar of Sa ltash , i n

the parlour of an inn , and on another, dressed as a fine gentlem an, h e attended a cock-figh t and la id wagers with h is

cousin , S ir Coventry Carew, without be ing detected in e ithercharacter. Whenever h e did happen to be detected he u sua llymanaged to turn the occasion to h is own advantage e itherby ra ising a laugh or in some other fashion , as in th e following instance . Although very we l l known t o th e family of

Squire Portman , he boldly marched up to that gentleman’

s

hou se one day in the habit of a rat-catcher, with ha iry capon h is head , buff girdle about his wa ist , and a tame rat in a

l i tt le box by h is Side . Meet ing the squ ire and severa l fr iendsin the courtyard , he inqu ired whether the ir honours had any

vermin to be kil led .

“ Do you understand your businesswe l l inqu ired the squ ire . Yes, and please , your honour,

”

was the reply ,“ I have followed it many years and been

employed in h is Majesty’s yards and ships . “ We l l , then ,go in and get something to eat, and after dinner we will seewhat you can do .

”After dinner he was cal led into the great

parlour , where was a large company of ladies and gentlemen .

We l l , honest rat -catcher,” queried Mr. Portman , can

you lay any scheme to kil l th e rats without hurt ing mydogs ? Be ing assured that this could be done sat isfactori ly,Mr . Portman next asked the rat -catcher what countryman

he was, and be ing answered ,“ A Devonshire m an,

” promptlydemanded his name . See ing by the nods and smiles of some

of them that h is identity had been discovered , he coolly

spel led ou t B -a -m -

p-f-y

- l -d - e -M-o -o-r-e C -a-r-e-w . Therewas a genera l laugh , and when it had subsided Carew im pu

162


two gipsy chi ldren strapped on his back , and carried in h isarms a l itt le humpbacked child whom h e had borrowed ofa tra ve l l ing t inker. As soon as he arrived at Mr. Pleyde ll

’

s

door h e put a hand behind him and pinched th e two ch ildrensm artly enough to set them both screaming , which noisestarted the squ ire ’ s dogs barking and disturbed the wholehousehold . Out ran one of th e ma ids to bid the old woman

take h er squa l l ing brats away , as they discomposed the ladies .God bless the ir Ladyships ! cried th e old woman .

“ I am

the poor unfortunate grandmother of these poor he lplessdarl ings , whose dear mother was burnt in the dreadful firea t Kirton the other day ; and I hope the good ladies

,for

God ’s sake , wil l give m e a trifle to keep the poor famished

infants from starving .

” Then the old woman wept copiously ,and the sympathetic ma id ran in to acqua i nt her ladies with

the melancholy tale, while Carew kept on surrept it iouslypinching the brats, so that they ma inta ined a howling chorus.

Presently th e girl returned with a ha l f-crown from the ladiesas we l l as a bowl of appet ising stew. Learn ing that thegentlemen were not i n the house , but were expected to arrivea t any moment , Carew sat down in the yard , prolonging hismea l and gett ing one of the under-servants to feed the

ch ildren on his back . While this was go ing on the gentlem en rode in to th e yard . Ha l lo , old woman ! ” sa id Mr.

Pleydell ;“ where did you come from ? ” “ From Kirton ,

please , your honour,” squeaked Carew , where my daughter,

the mother of these poor helpless babes, was burnt to deathin the flames and then , of course , fol lowed a torrent ofcircumstant ia l deta i ls and pathet ic supplicat ions . “ Damn

you excla imed Mr. Pleydell there has been more money

col lected for Kirton a lready than Kirton was ever worth .

However, he threw the weeping old grandmother a shil l ing ,and a ll hi s friends followed su it . Th e money was rece ived

with the most profound grat itude , and th e o ld woman hobbled

away into the road , but j ust as the gentlemen were about

to enter the house she surprised them with a“ Tant ivy !

164


tantivy ! and such a ha l loo to the dogs as caused her to bepromptly brought back and her disgu ise stripped off, when ,

we are assured, the gentlemen were

'

so pleased with the

ingenuity of the deception that the mumper was handsome lyrewarded .

Carew and h is mumper assoc iates were in the habit ofa ttending a ll the fa irs in the west of England , when , madeup as dea f and dumb , or blind , or ma imed unfortunates, theywou ld plant them selves by a bridge or at a cross-road at the

entrance of the town and keep up a loud and lamentablecry all day long , t il l the ir pockets were heavi ly laden withha lfpence . Once when he was at Bridgwater Fa ir, together

with h is old schoolfe l lows Coleman and Escott , there were

so many miserable - looking objects , ha lt , and ma imed , and

bl ind, and deaf, and dumb , asking a lms , that the mayor

suspected the maj ority of them to be counterfe its . Being ahumourist in h is way, he declared that he would make the

bl ind see , the deaf hear, and th e lame wa lk ; and,as a first

step towards the ir cure , h e had the whole lot arrested andlodged in the Dark House . They passed the n ight in fear

and trembl ing ; and early next morning they rece ived a visitfrom a we l l -known phys ician of the town , who told themthey must expect no mercy from the mayor, who would dea lwith such as were not what they represented themse lves tobe with the utmost severi ty ; but , as he rather sympathisedwith them himse lf, he adv ised all of them who were counter

feits to make a bolt for it as soon as he unfastened the door .

The mayor and a ldermen and many others in the secretwere posted opposite the prison to see what would happen .

NO sooner had the doctor unlocked the door than the wholecrowd rushed out pe l l-me l l the deaf had heard wel l enoughwhat h e had sa id ; the bl ind had no difficu lty in finding the

shortest way out of the town ; the lame flung away the ircrutches and ran l ike hunted deer. In fact

,there was only

one , a rea l ly lame m an, who fa i led to get away ; and thispoor wretch , afte r be ing brought before the mayor and

165


admonished , had a collect ion made for him ,which amply

compensated him for his one n ight ’ s imprisonment . Carewrelates another i nstance in which an eccentric humourist gotthe better of him . One day, as he was begging from door to

door in Ma iden Bradley in th e habit of a shipwrecked sa ilor,he saw on the other side of the street a brother mendicantmariner doing l ikewise . The fel low crossed over, asked him

where h e lay last n ight , what road he was going, and severa l

other civi l quest ions, and then proposed that he shou ld

“ brush into the boozing-ken and be his thrums ,”i .e. , go

into an a lehouse and Spend threepence with him . They

compared notes about the country , the chari table and

uncharitable famil ies , the moderate and severe j ust ices, andso forth , fina l ly agree ing to divide that vil lage between themand visit the ne ighbouring gentlemen ’ s houses together. In

course of conversat ion by the way , the other “ancient

mari ner ” was surprised to learn that he had entered into a

temporary partnership with the celebrated King of the

Mumpers , and expressed in appropriate slang his sense of the

honour. Presently they came to Lord Weym outh’

s place ,where it was agreed that Carew shou ld act as spokesman .

Th e servants bade them be gone unless they cou ld give a verygood account of themselves and of the countries they pre

tended to have come from,for Lord Weymouth , who had

trave l led in many parts Of the world , wou ld infa l l ib ly detectany impostor and have him whipped and committed toBridewel l without mercy . Carew, however, confidently tolda harrowing tale, with the most circumstantia l deta i l s, of

thei r lamentable misfortunes, and, as his Lordship seemed to

be just then out of the way, the two rogues obta ined both

money and victua l s from the housekeeper . The victual sthey exchanged for l iquor at a ne ighbouring wayside inn ,where, after sharing the takings of the day, they parted ,each having mapped out for himse lf a separate excursion .

But now the second beggar, who was none other than Lord

Weymouth himsel f, hurried back to his own house bya private

166


the Apology in 18 10 , states that he was wel l acqua intedwith Carew, who , rea l is ing after a t ime that he was keepinghis wife and ch ild in a very fa lse posit ion , determined to tryh is fortune in a tota l ly different l ine i n London . H e was

converted to this better way of thinking , we are assured , byan e loquent sermon preached by a right reverend bishop and ,

having res igned h is gipsy sceptre, devoted h imse lf to th e

highly respectable occupation of speculat ing in lotteries .

The specu lat ion proved so extraordinari ly successfu l thatafter a very few years he was able to buy a neat and comfortable estate in h is nat ive west country , where he endedh is days beloved and esteemed by all .

” According to one

account this took place i n 1758 , according to another in 1770 .

H is wife died some t ime before he did ,”

says Mr . Price ;and h is daughter, to whom he left a gentee l fortune , married

a young gentleman of the ne ighbourhood , and at the presentt ime of wri t ing ” by the sweetness of her behaviourand amiableness of her character, is a bless ing to herse l f, apattern to her acqua intance , and an honour to h is family .

”

All which sounds a trifle unl ikely, and th e reader m ay takeMr . Price ’s word for i t Or not as he pleases .The h istriographer of the Apology in 1750 describesCarew, who was then fifty- seven years of age , as ta l l andmajest ic , strong and wel l proport ioned of l imb , with regu lar

features and “a countenance open and ingenuous , bearing a ll

those characterist ica l marks which physiognomists assertdenote an honest and good -natured mind .

”The engraving

of him which is prefixed to the book appears to have beenmade after a portra i t by “Mr. Phil ips

, a ce lebra ted l imner of

Porlock,

” who pa inted it at the request and charge of

Mr. Coplestone Bampfylde . I t represents h im as a portly ,resolute - looking , square -jawed, shrewd , capable m an of affa irs ,much more l ike a dignified cha irman of quarter sessionsthan a vagabond beggar . Unfortunate ly , h e seems to have

had no l i terary facu l ty and whoever i t was that took down

his recollect ions was not on ly equa l ly deficient in th is respect ,

168


but a lso without sufficient intel l igence to make any inquisitioninto h is motives and fee l ings. Th e restlessness

, the passionfor the open air

, and the consti tut iona l reserve or a loofness ,which are such prominent characterist ics of all th e vagabond

Spirits who have taken to l iterature— of Thoreau , of R ichardJefferies, of George Borrow , or of Mr. W . H . Davies, th epoet ic super-tramp of our own day

— were h is in fullmeasure . H e wou ld doubtless have sa id , with Mr. Davies ,

This is a j olly l ife indeed ,To do no work and get my need ,

or have excla imed , as does our modern super-tramp

Lord ! who wou ld live in towns with m en,

And hear th e burn of human greed,

With such a life as this to lead ?

But from the “ Apology for h is l ife we get no indicat ionthat he took any de l ight in birds or anima ls , except insnaring t hem , or tha t h e ever brooded on th e love l iness ofthe English country- side, l ike Mr.Watts-Dunton ’s Childrenof the Open Air,

”

Loving the sun, th e wind , the sweet reproofOf storms , and all tha t makes the fa ir earth fair.

”

I t is apparent , however, that he must have had a gooddea l of humour

,considerable insight into human nature

many of the qua l ificat ions of an actor, and a power of

impart ing an a ir of rea l ity to imaginary events which ,combined with an aptitude for using the pen, wou ld have

made h is fortune as a nove l ist . H e seems to have beenconsidered , and to have considered himse l f, as a sort of

popular enterta iner . The country squires whom he hoaxed ,though not a lways very pleased when they Were themselvesdece ived , were a lways huge ly de l ighted to see their ne igh

bours taken in , and then found Carew’

s t ricks as good as

a play .

” I t is as imposs ible for us t o be angry with the

rasca l as it was for them , and we m ay let him march out of

169


these pages repeat ing the in quoque which he prefixed to Mr.

(or Mrs . ) Goadby’

s recita l of h is adventures

Be not too hasty,most gentle reader . Of wha tever profession thou

art, lay thy hand upon thy heart and consider if thou hast never imposedupon mankind .

Art thou honoured with the grave title of Doctor ? Recoll ect if younever prescribed and took fees when you were sensible your patient wasincurable . D id you never agree with the Apothecary and

prescr ibe ten t imes more drugs and potions than were necessary,whilst h e , in turn , sounded the trumpet of your praise whenthe patient , perhaps, would have recovered much sooner without thepresence of e ither ?“But perhaps th e reader is some Gentleman of the Law . I f so, let himconsider, before h e is angry with m e, if he never took in hand a bad

cause , and a ssured h is cli ent of th e goodness of it Andwhen he has been cast in one court , has he not by specious promisesand false hopes enticed h is cl ient to try th e issue in anotherOr has h e never agreed with his brother counsellor to spinout the cause by unnecessary delays , til l they got the oyster betweenthem , and left the ir cl ients nothing but the shells ?

But perhaps some plodding honest tradesman is reading my Memoirs ,with loud exclama tions a t my cheats and impostures . But h e must bemuch better than h is neighbours if h e h as never contr ived to darken hisShop windows to prevent h is customers see ing th e flaws in h is goods ; ifhe h as never put off a bad commodity for a good one or made his goodswe igh heavier than when h e bought them.

AS the recita l of Carew ’

s career is hardly l ike ly to induceany one to go and do l ikewise , we m ay be content to let the

mumper have the last word .

170

EL IZABETH LADY HOLLAND .

F r om a n cug r a r'ing (y th e por tr a i t !y F ag m z.

A UNIQUE HOSTESS EL I ZABETH , LADY

HOLLAND


Godfrey when but sixteen years of age . The marriage was apart icu larly unhappy one , owing to fau lts upon both Sides ;and she appears to have been left by herse l f in Florencewhile h er husband followed h is accustomed pursu its e lsewhere , th e resu lt of which was that she had a son whichLord Holland acknowledged to be his , and that when h ereturned home in the Spring of 1796 Lady Webster trave lledwith him , and cont inued to l ive with him after the ir arriva li n England . S ir Godfrey Webster natura lly inst ituted proceedings for a divorce by Act of Parl iament , and two daysafter the Bil l had been assented to , Lord Hol land and the

lady were qu iet ly married at a church in the country . Suchwas the inauspicious beginn ing of a un ion which , nevertheless, appears to have lasted with unabated sat isfact ion toboth part ies unti l Lord Holland ’s death , forty- three years

afterwards .

Immediately after h is return to England Lord Holland set

about the restorat ion of the family mansion at Kensington ;and, before saying anything more about th e remarkablewoman who was thus rather strange ly brought home to beits mistress , i t m ay be we l l to devote a few words to thehouse itse l f, for undoubtedly its exterior architectura lbeauty, its interior arrangements , as remarkable for comfort

as for luxury and splendour, i ts collect ion of varied obj ects

of art , and its a lmost unbroken cha in of poli t ica l and l iteraryassociat ions , stretching back for n igh upon three centuries ,form a combinat ion which has given to Holland Housethefirst place amongst our metropol itan palaces . S ir JamesMack intosh at one t ime proposed to write i ts h istory ; but ,a lthough be commenced making notes, and rece ived from th e

lady who is the subj ect of the present Sketch a good dea l ofva luable informat ion for th e purpose , this proved to be but

one of Mackintosh ’ s many proj ects which were never carriedinto execut ion . Some notion of the beauty and the interesting associat ion s of the place , as we l l as of the characters of

its various tenants and guests, m ay, however, be obta ined

I 74

ELIZABETH,LADY HOLLAND

from the splendid book on the subj ect, i l lustrated with severa lfine steel engravings of portra i ts, forty he l iotype i l lustrat ions ,and an abundance of woodcuts, which was written byPrincess Liechtenste in and published by Messrs . Macmil lanin two quarto volumes in 1873 . From this source we learnthat somewhere about 1624 S ir Henry R ich , who becamesuccessive ly Baron Kensington and Earl of Holland , added

to the centre and turrets of what was then known as CopeCast le those wings and arcades which are so pleasant a

feature of what has ever since been known as Holland House .

I ts next occupant is sa id to have been the Parl iamentary

Genera l Fa irfax ; and after him another of Cromwe l l ’sl ieutenants , Genera l Lambert , he ld h is headquarters at

Holland House in 1649 . The second Earl of Holland , whosucceeded to the earldom of Warwick in 1673 , neverthe lesscont inued to make this house his principa l place of residence ;and in 17 16 the widow of h is son and successor gave theplace its first distinctively l iterary associat ion by h er marriagewith Joseph Addison . I t was to what afterwards became thedining- room of Holland House that Gay was invited byAddison to give h is forgiveness for some injury, he knew not

what , and the young Earl of Warwick summoned to “see

how a Christ ian could die . When this young earl h imse lfdied , in 172 1 , the estate devolved upon a cousin , WilliamEdwardes (afterwards Lord Kensington) ; but during thefollowing thirty years the house had a variety of moredistingu ished tenants , including S ir John Chardin

, the

Persian trave l ler, S ir Anthony Van Dyck , th e great pa inter,and William Penn , the founder of the colony of Pennsylvania .

There is a tradition that , after the Revolut ion of 1688 ,

Will iam theTh ird had some thought ofmaking Holland Housea roya l pa lace ; but if so ,

h e changed his mind . I ts connec

t ion with the Fox family dates back no further than to about

th e middle of the re ign of George th e Second,when , in 1749,

it was let on lease to Henry Fox for what nowadays appearsthe absurdly sma l l rental of£182 168 . 9d. per annum ; and that

I 7S


rapacious pol it ician after his e levat ion to the peerage as

Lord Holland became , in 1767 , the owner of the place .

Henry Fox was a lready the tenant of this “suburban pa lace

and paradise ,”

says S ir George Treve lyan ,1 when h is son

Charles James was born ; but the noise of carpenters and

th e bustle of upholsterers obliged Lady Carol ine to choose a

lodging in Conduit Street for th e scene of an event which

would have added dist inct ion even to Holland House .

” OfCharles James

’

s e lder brother , the second Lord Holland ,l itt le need be sa id ; but when Henry R ichard , th e th ird

lord , returned to England in 1796 , as a lready ment ioned , heimmediate ly Set to work to restore th e place to someth ing ofits former glory . H e restored it in two ways, says Princess

Liechtenste in : pract ica l ly , by fitt ing it up at great expensefor h is own habitat ion and inte l lectua l ly , by bringing abouth im there a circle of wits and gen iuses who invested it withgreater bri l l iance than it h ad enj oyed even in the days of

Addison . How considerable a part in th is undertaking

was played by the lady whom he married in 1797 is abun

dantly shown in the various memoirs and diaries of the

period .

Elizabeth , Lady Holland , gave S ir James Mackintosh a

l ist of the ce lebrities she had enterta ined during h er re ign atHolland House ; and Princess Liechtenste in prints this,

2 witha kind of thumb - na i l character Sketch appended to eachname . Thu s Ta l leyrand is described as

“the diplomat ic

wit and witty diplomat ist who cared not which party hesupported , provided it was the stronger Madame de Stae las the wri ter who in gracefu l French pa in ted I ta ly, and insol id French digested German literature S ir Phil ip Francisas he

“ whose supposed authorship of‘ Jun ius ’ places him

in historica l interest on a leve l with the wearer of the iron

mask Dr . Parr as the eccentric scholar “ whose atta inments and Whig principles gave him fam e , and whose horror

1 The E arly Life of Ch arles Jam es Fox,p. 4 1 .

Hol land House,

”by Princess Liechtenstein,

Vol . I . ,pp. 143

— 152 .

176


The charm of Lord Holland ’ s manner and conversat ion wasa lso admitted on a l l hands . Moore noted with approbat ionin h is diary in 18 18 a remark of Rogers

’

s to the effect tha t

Lord Holland a lways came down to breakfast l ike a m an

upon whom some good fortune h ad suddenly fa l len ; and

th e usua l ly mordant Grevi lle after Lord Holland ’s death , in1840 , remarked

1 that no m an ever had so great and genera la popu lari ty : H is marve l lous socia l qua l it ies, imperturbabletemper, unflagging vivacity and Sp iri t , h is i nexhaust ib le fundof anecdote , extensive informat ion , spright ly wit , withuniversal tolerat ion and urban ity , inspired all who approached

him with the keenest taste for his company, and those whol ived with him in intimacy with the warmest regard for his

person .

” Lady Hol land ’ s organ isat ion of the dinners and

control of her guests have often been commented on , but byno one with greater point than S i r Henry Holland , thece lebrated physic ian , who Was an int imate friend of

some thirty years ’ standing. In his Recol lect ions he

recal ls some of the dinners at Holland House, and remarksthat English and fore ign M in isters and diplomat ists , m en

of learning and science , poets , art ists , and wits, were soski lful ly commingled as to make i t sure that none but a

master-hand cou ld have accomplished the resu lt . And the

master-hand was undoubtedly that of the mistress of the

house .

Supreme in her own mansion and family, sh e exercised a singularand seemingly capr icious tyranny even over guests of the highest rankand position . Capric ious it seemed , but there was in reality intentionin a ll she did ; and this intention was the maintenance of power, whichsh e ga ined and strenuously used

,though not without d iscretion in

fixing its limits . No one knew be tter when to change her mood , andt o soothe by kind and flattering words the provocation she h ad justgiven , and was very apt to give . H er management of conversationat th e dinner-table— sometimes arbitrary and in rude arrest of others ,sometimes courteously inviting the subject- furnished a study in itself .

Journa l of the Reigns of Wi l liam IV. and George IV Part I I Vol . I . ,

P 34 1

178

ELIZABETH , LADY HOLLAND

Every guest felt her presence, and generally more or less succumbedto it.” 1

H e adds that she was acute in dist ingu ishing betweenrea l and fa lse meri t , and a lthough not a woman of wit inwords, might be described as a consummate pract ica l wit inall her relat ions to society . Once, towards the end of h er

l ife , she spoke to him of the labour she h ad undergone inma inta in ing her posit ion and he remarks that the informa

t ion was not necessary, as h is own observa t ion had madehim wel l but Si lently aware of it .Beaut ifu l , clever, and wel l i nformed, says Princess Liech

tenstein,

2 Lady Holland ’ s habit of contradict ion occasiona l lylent animation , not to say animosity, to her conversat ion ,though she cou ld genera l ly accomplish the difficu lt feat ofcarrying o ff a disagreeable thing cleverly . Lady Holland ’ scontradiction , however, was by no means a lways disagreeable .

Moore , in his diary,3 speaks of a dinner at Holland Housei n 1825 when She ma inta ined a contest with great Spirit andoddity aga inst Lord Hol land and Allen on the subject ofGenera l Washington , whom She ,

“ with her usua l horror ofthe l ibera l Side of things,

” disl iked and depreciated . But ,he says, the ta lent and good humour with which she foughtus a ll was highly amusing . Grevi lle , at a later date ,chronicles an agreeable ” dinner which was enlivened by asquabble ” between Lady Holland and Allen ,

“at which a ll

the company were ready to die of laughing.

”H er despot ic

ru le there i s no denying . To begin with , the guests werea lways invited by herself. Rogers told Dyce 4 that LordHolland never ventured to ask any one to dinner without

previously consu lt ing her Ladyship ; and he frequent ly camet o h is own dinner-table without knowing whom he wou ld

1 “ Recol lections of Past Life,” by S ir Henry Ho l land , Bart ., SecondEdition , p. 229 .

2 Ho l land House,Vol . I . . pp . 156 , 157.

3 “ Mem oirs, Journals, and Correspondence of Thom as Moore ,Vo l . IV . ,

PP. 3 13 . 3 14 »

4 Reco l lecti ons of the Table Talk of Sam uel Rogers p . 275 .

179 N 2


meet . Shortly before h is death Rogers ca l led at Holland

House , and found on ly Lady Holland within but as he wascoming ou t he m et Lord Holland , who asked ,

“Do you

return to dinner ? No, answered Rogers , I have notbeen invited ” ; and that was fina l . Then she i nsisted upondining at the unusua l hour of five ; and a lthough , as Grevilleobserves, nothing cou ld be more inconvenient than such a

shortening of the day and lengthening of the even ing,her

power over society was sufficient to compe l peop le to get toher house at that hour . Grevi l le says She was a lways fancying she was i l l , and that the state Of her hea lth made i tnecessary for her to dine early ; but Tal leyrand declaredtha t sh e did it mere ly pour gener tout le m onde. She a lsosystemat ica l ly crowded her table. Grevi lle noted in August ,

that he had been to a true Holland Hou se dinner,”

for two more people (Me lbourne and Tom Duncombe)arrived than there was room for, so that Lady Hollandhad the pleasure of a couple of genera l squeezes, and of

see ing her guests’ arms prett i ly pin ioned .

” This pract ice

gave occasion for one of Luttrel l ’s bon m ots.

2 Once , when

th e company was a lready tightly packed , an unexpected

guest arrived , and She instantly gave her im perious order,Luttre l l , make room ,

” whereupon the wit repl ied ,“ I t

certa in ly must be m ade,for i t does not exist. Moore

mentions 3 that one day i n 1842 , as he was going in , he found

in th e ha l l a victim of another of her ways of making room ,

i n the person of Gore , who was putt ing on his great -coat to

take h is departure , having been sent away by her Ladyship

for want of room ; and after he had taken h is place , he

says , the pressure was so great that Allen , after performinghi s carving part , ret ired to dine at a sma l l side table . ButMoore adds that , according to Rogers , the close packing

of Lady Holland ’ s dinners was one of the secret s of the ir

1 Journa l of th e Reigns of Wi l liam I V . and George IV Part I Vol . I I . ,p . 3 16 .

2 Hol land House , Vo l . I . , p . 5 8 .

3 Moore,Vo l . V I I . , p. 3 13 .


Me lbourne by making him shift his place when he was seatedto h is l ik ing that he rose, excla iming ,

“ I ’ l l be damned if Idine with you at a l l and wa lked off to h is own house .

S he a lso occasiona l ly aroused rebel l ion by exhibit ions oftemper and unwarrantable rudeness . S he is reported to havesa id even to her old friend Rogers ,

“ Your poetry is badenough , so pray be Sparing of your prose .

” To LordPorchester sh e remarked ,

“ I am sorry to hear you are

going to publ ish a poem . Can ’t you suppress it ? ” And

Moore himself records in his diary that , being one day inrather a bravura mood , she asked him how he cou ld writethose vu lgar verses about Hunt on another occasion toldh im She had two obj ect ions to reading his “La l la Rookhin the first place i t was Eastern , and in the second place i twas in quarto ; and, yet aga in , violently attacked his Life of

Sheridan ,” te l l ing him it was qu ite a romance ”

and showedwant of taste and j udgment . H e says h e told her She

might go on, as h e took anything and everything in good

pa rt from her. But he confides to his d iary that “ poets

i nc l ined to a plethora of van ity wou ld find a dose of LadyHolland now and then very good for the ir compla in t .” 1

Macau lay re lates tha t one day i n November , 1833 , she came

to dinner at Rogers’

s, with Allen , i n so bad a humour that

they were all forced to ra l ly and make common cause aga inst

h er, for there was not a person at the tab le to whom sh e was

not rude . So “ Rogers sneered ; Sydney made merci lesssport of her ; Torn Moore looked excessively impertinentBohus put her down with s imple stra ightforward rudeness

and I treated her with what I meant to be the coldest

civi l ity .

” 2 I t i s sat isfactory to learn that her Ladysh ip after

wards showed herse l f to be the better for this discipl ine.

Now and aga in a qu ick-witted guest scored heavi ly .

Shortly a fter M . Van de Weyer’s arriva l in England as BelgianM inister , h e was dining with a distinguished party at Holland House ,when Lady Holland suddenly turned to him and asked , ‘ How is

1 Moore, Vo l . VI I . , p . 4 1 . Macau lay, Life , p . 246 .

182

ELIZABETH ,LADY HOLLAND

Leopold Does your Ladyship mean the King of the Belgians ? Ihave heard ,

’

sh e rej oined , of Flemings, H a inaulters,and Brabanters ,

b ut Belgians are new to m e .

’H is reply was in French , in which th e

conversation had been partly carried on : Miladi , avant d ’avoir1’

h0nneur de vous etre présenté,j’ava is entendu souvent parler de vous ,

non seulement comme d ’une femme d ’esprit , ma is aussi une femme qu iava it beaucoup ln . Eh bien ! est-il possib le que dans vos nombreuseslectures vous n

’ayez pas rencontré le l ivre d ’

un garcon nommé JulesCesar— garcon de beaucoup d

’

esprit— qu i dans ses‘ Commentaires ’

donne a tout notre popula t ion le nom de Belges , et ce nom nous avonsconservedepuis lui jusqu

’

a nos j ours ” 1

The American George Ticknor, who saw much of the

Hollands during h is first visi t to England, in 18 19 , ga ined a

similar victory . S he offended him by remarking that she

be l ieved New England was origina l ly colonised by convicts

sent over from the mother-country . H e pol ite ly repl ied thathe was not aware of it but he happened to know that someof the Vassa l family had settled early in Massachusetts,where a house bu i lt by one of them was standing inCambridge , and a marble monument to a member of thefamily was to be seen in King ’s Chapel

,Boston . I t is

notable , however, that she a lways bore with calmness andeven good humour any outbreaks of indignat ion which she

had provoked , and that she both respected and l iked thosewho were not afra id to treat her with spirit and freedom .

Ticknor, for instance , who never came to l ike Lady Holland ,admits that her pol iteness and even k indness to him in afteryears was probably due to th e foregoing passage of armsbetween them at the beginning of the ir acqua intance .

2

Some observers seem to have been unable to see any bu t

the unpleasant tra its in Lady Holland’ s character. The

mischievous— not to say ma l iciou s— Creevey, for example ,whose gossiping “Papers 3were publ ished a year or two back ,has hardly ever a good word to say for her. H e nicknamed

1 A . Hayward , B iographica l and Critica l E ssays, New Series,Vo l . I . ,

p. 290 .

2 Life , Letters , and Journa ls of George Ti cknor, Second Ed i tion , Vo l . I . ,

p . 2 19 .

8 The Creevey Papers, edited by S ir Herbert Maxwel l , B art .

183


her old Madagasca r, and , according to h is account , while

sh e flattered and courted him , h e more often than notdeclined h er i nvitat ions , because he could not stand the

art ificia l bother and crowded table of h er house , and foundher presumption not to be endured . In January, 182 1 , h e

represents her as looking very forlorn and discontentedbecause the temporari ly more popu lar Lady Jersey was

taking her company away from her,1and in December of

th e following year as disgusting h er habi tue’

s by sett ing up ahuge cat , to whose vagaries She demanded unqua l ified sub

mission from a ll her vis itors . Rogers, h e says , susta inedsome inj ury in an encounter with the anima l ; Broughamonly managed to keep it at arm ’s length by means of snuff ;and Luttre l l sent in a forma l resigna tion of all future vis itst i l l the new and odious favouri te Shou ld be dismissed .

2 Andher behav iour at other people ’

s houses he represents as evenworse than in h er own. H e m et her in Ju ly, 1833 , at Lord

Sefton ’s , and thus describes th e scene

She began by compla ining of the Slipperiness of the courtyard and

of the danger of her horses fa lli ng, to which Sefton replied that itshould be gravell ed the next time She did him the honour of diningthere . She then began to sniff

, and turning h er eyes to var ious potsfill ed with beautiful roses and all kinds of flowers , sh e sai d , LordSefton , I must beg you to have those flowers taken out of th e room ,

they are so much too powerful for m e .

’ Sefton and h is va let Paolia ctually carried the table and a ll its contents out of th e room . Thenpoor dear little Lady Sefton , who h as a lways a posy as large as l ife at

h er breast when sh e is dressed , took it out in th e humblest manner, andsa id , Perhaps, Lady Holland , this nosegay m ay be too much foryou ?

’

But the other was pleased to a llow her to keep it , though byno means in a very gracious manner. Then , when candles were l ightedat the close of dinner

,she would have three of them put out

,as be ing

too much , and too near her. Was there ever ” 3

The letters of Joseph Jekyll convey a similar impress ion .

The Hollands , he sa id , resembled the different ends of a

1 0° Creevey Papers , Vo l . I I . , p . 9 .

3 I bid Vo l . I I .,p . 58 .

8 I bid Vol . I I . , p . 256.

184


bri l l iant and dist inguished company who frequented it .

1 Butth e explana t ion is hardly adequate . At any rate , th e bri l l iantand dist ingu ished company who frequented Holland Housecannot be sa id to have assembled there in sp ite of LadyHolland ; and , as Grevil le we l l says , a lthough everybodyfound someth ing to abuse or ridicu le i n the mistress of thehouse , they all continued to go , and they all l iked it . Someof them , too, rema ined Lady Hol land

’ s l i felong affect ionatefriends . Samue l Rogers , who was a frequent vis itor at

Holland House before th e death of C . J . F ox , rema ined onterms of pleasant intimacy with her for over forty years

,

Moore ’ s diary from 18 19 to 1842 conta in s numerous referencesto her k indness and good qua l it ies ; and from 1797 to h isdeath , in 1845 , Sydney Smith was a lways her gratefu l anddevoted friend .

Sydney Smith had made Lord Holland ’s acqua intancewhen on a visit to h is brother Bobus at college, and theconnect ion was cemented by the subsequent marriage of

Bohus with M iss Vernon , one of Lord Holland ’s aunts .Sydney was first introduced to Holland Hou se in 1804 ,

when , according to h is own account , he was distress inglyshy And when the Whigs came into power in 1806 , LadyHolland never rested unti l she had induced the Chancel lorto give her favouri te a l iv ing . Rogers told Dyce 2 that whenSydney got the l iving of Foston -le-Clay, in Yorksh ire , hewent to thank Erskine for the appoi ntment . “ Oh ,

” sa idErsk ine, don ’ t thank m e, Mr. Smith . I gave you the

l iving because Lady Holland insisted on m y doing so ; andi f She had desired m e to give i t to the devil , he must havehad i t . Some s ixty or more of Sydney’ s letters to Lady

Holland , covering a period of nearly forty years , are to befound in his correspondence, as edited by Mrs . Aust in ; andthe letters are not only extremely amusing , but a lso , from

first to last , indicat ive of his warm regard . One Of these ,written about the end of 1807 , m ay be prefaced by something

1 Records, Vo l . I . , pp. 98 , 99 .

9 Table Talk ,” P 85 .

186


which Cyrus Redding records in his “ Recol lect ions .Redding represents Lady Holland as not only cold and

haughty , but as Offens ive towards those She disl iked, and

very apt to construe into a personal affront any remark of thesl ightest nature which did not chime in with h er views . By

'

way of example, h e says that the poet Campbel l , for a merej est about Lady Holland ’ s phraseology when she Spoke of“ tak ing a drive, was treated with such hauteur that hewou ld never afterwards visit her house to expose himse lf toa repetit ion of it . Some t ime after this, however, Campbel lwas reported to be in financia l d ifficu lt ies ; and , whateveranimos ity he m ay have cher ished , it is qu ite evident fromSydney Smith ’s correspondence that she had none aga insthim . Sydney writes

I told th e l ittle poet , after the proper softenings of wine , dinner,fla ttery , repeating his verses, etc. , etc. , that a friend of mine wished tolend him some money, and I begged him to take it .” 2

H e goes on to re late tha t Campbel l was not affronted , but ,while expressing great grat itude to his unknown benefactor,decl ined the money on the ground that h is affa irs were not

at the moment in so cri t ica l a s tate as to necessitateborrowing . Sydney therefore cancel led the draft which Lady

Holland had sent , and he concludes h is letter by te l l ing h er

She is a very good lady, and that for what She had done, orrather proposed to do , he gave her his hearty benediction .

In the fol lowing year he thus refers to his own relat ions to

both her and Lord Holland

You m ay choose to make m e a b ishop, and if you do , I think I

shall never do you discredit ; for I believe it is out of the power of lawnand ve lvet , and th e crisp ha ir of dead m en fashioned into a wig, tomake m e a dishonest m an ; but if you do not , I am perfectly content ,and shal l be ever grateful to th e last hour of my life to you and toLord Holland .

” 3

1 Fifty Years’ Recol lections , Vol . I I I . , pp . 176— 178 .

9 Mem oir and Letters of the Rev . Sydney Sm ith ,”2 Vo ls . Vol . I I . ,

p 3 18 rue, Vo l . I I . , p . 38 .

187


Sydney used to send to Holland House what he cal led his

annua l tribute , i n the shape of a cheese ; and presents of

variou s kinds reached him from Lady Holland , which drew

forth characterist ic acknowledgments, that were carefu lly

preserved

Many thanks for two fine Ga l icia hams but as for boiling them inwine, I am not as yet high enough in the Church for that ; so they mustdo the best they can in wa ter. Horner is ill . H e was desired toread amusing books. Upon search ing h is l ibrary, it appeared he h adno amusing books— th e nearest of any work of tha t description being‘ Th e Ind ian Trader ’s Complete Guide .

’ ” 1

Gratefu l and affect ionate as he was, however, Sydney wou ldsomet imes fee l cal led upon to speak his m ind very pla in ly to

Lady Holland . Once i t was reported to him that she wasin the habit of laughing at him for being happy in the

country ; whereupon he at once sent her a letter of rebuke,te l l ing her that, though not leading prec isely the l i fe hewou ld choose , he considered it more man ly to reconci lehimsel f to i t than to fe ign himse lf above it and send up

compla ints by the post about being thrown away, and such

l ike trash .

” 2 H e frequently expostu lated with her on her

rest lessness , as, in 18 15 ,“ Pray do settle i n England and

rema in qu iet . I have heard 500 trave l led people assertthat there is no such agreeable house in Europe as HollandHouse ; why Shou ld you be the last person to be convincedof this, and the first to make i t true ? ” 3 Often , of course,h e was mere ly excruciat ingly funny, as in a letter, writtenduring the Reform Bill agitat ion , wherein he tel l s her

I m et Lord J ohn at Exeter. The people a long the road were verymuch disappointed by his sma llness . I told them h e was much largerbefore the Bill was thrown out , but was reduced by excess ive anxietyabout the people . This brought tears into the ir eyes.

“

1 Mem oir and Letters of th e Rev . Sydney Sm ith , 2 Vo ls.Vo l

.I I

p . 48 .

9 I bid . , Vol . I I . , pp. 56 , 57 .

3 I bid . , Vo l . I I . , p . 124 .

4 I bid . , Vol . I I . , p . 3 2 1 .

188


his door, and , supposing the house to be on fire , he threw

off his nightsh irt and i nstantly let himsel f down by the

apparatus , only to find , however , when it set him down on thedoorstep , that his wife and daughters, who had been keptlate at a ba l l , were knocking and ringing to be let in.

1 Andthere are more stories of a s imi lar character, most of them ,

however, only exhibit ing Sydney’

s superabundant humour

and high Spirits,which , as Princess Liechtenste in tel ls us,

kept even the servants of Holland House in fits of laughter.

Lady Holland was am bit ious that her husband shou ld take

a prominent part in the government of h i s country . Whetherthis were entire ly disinterested, or whether it were on ly

another phase of that love of power which , as we have seen ,the eminent physician , S ir Henry Holland , diagnosed as hermost prominent characterist ic , m ay be a matter for difference

of Opinion . H er house was natural ly the social ra l lyingpoint for the chiefs of the Whig party.

—As early as 1802 wefind it noted in the j ournal of Lord Hobart (afterwards LordAuckland) that she was

“ deep in pol i t ica l intrigue and

means for the preservat ion of peace to make it necessarythat Fox shou ld be i n power . On the collapse of LordGoderich ’s coal i t ion M in istry, in 1828 , sh e asked Lord JohnRusse l l , as Croker reports, why Lord Holland shou ld not beSecretary for Foreign Affa irs ; and Lord John is sa id tohave qu ietly repl ied , Why, they say, ma

’

am , that you openall Lord Holland ’ s letters , and the Fore ign M in isters might

not l ike that.” 2 About the same t ime Jekyl l wrote to hi s

sister- ia law .

Lady Holland is the only dissatisfied Minister out of office . She

counted upon sa iling down daily with her long-ta iled blacks and

ancient , crane -necked chariot to sit with Holland a t the Secretary ’soffi ce , to administer the a ffa irs of Europe, and make Sydney Smitha bishop . As for him ”

(Lord he never cared twopence about th ewhole j ob .

” 8

1 Sketches of Em inent Statesmen , Vol . I I .

,p . 2 14 .

9 Croker Papers ,” Vol . I .

, p . 400 .

8 Jeky l l , p. 176 .

190

ELIZABETH,LADY HOLLAND

Lord Holland,as is we l l known , was a lways both a

prominent and a consistent member of the Whig party . H e

he ld office as Lord Privy Sea l i n the “ Cabinet of all the

Ta lents ” in 1806 . At the t ime of the Reform Bill he wasChance l lor of the Duchy of Lancaster ; and whether it betrue or not (as Greville says it was in July, 1834) tha t

“the

Hollands think of nothing on earth but how they m ay bestkeep the Duchy,

” it is certa in ly th e fact that he did keep it ,with but one Short interval , unt il h is dea th in 1840 . Jekyll ’sremarks, however, must a lways be taken cum grano sa lis and

as. a mixture of more or less humorous and mal ic ious

exaggerat ion . In 183 3 he writes aga in

Lord Pa lmerston is to be congra tulated , for h e has got LadyHolland for h is ne ighbour in Stanhope Street . W ith her usual spiritof domination and restlessness , she has seized and possessed herself ofher poor, quie t son-in-law ’

s mansion for Cabinet dinners ; and mostlikely will attempt to enthrone herself at th e head of the table , and

suggest secret measures for the conduct of Ministers in Spa in , Portugal ,and Belgi um .

” 1

Undoubtedly Lady Holland , as a hostess, was of immenseservice to th e Whig party ; and many bes ides G ifford musthave wished that they could on ly get up a Holland Houseon the Tory side of the quest ion . But Grevi lle and othersbear most emphat ic test imony to the fact that

,while h er

society was natura lly and inevitably of a part icular polit ica lcolour

,Lady Holland never encouraged any fierce phil ippics

,

to say nothing Of riba ldry , aga inst pol it ica l opponents , andmade i t one of h er chief objects to establish such a tone of

moderat ion and genera l tolerat ion that no person of any

party, Opinion , profession , or persuasion might feel any

diffi culty in coming to her house , and she took care that noone who did come shou ld ever have reason to compla in of

be ing offended or annoyed , st i ll less Shocked or insu lted ,under her roof.Severa l of Lady Holland ’s guests have recorded thei r


impressions of the society at Holland House . The Ameri

can George Ticknor when h e first came to London , in 18 19 ,

found there , and in the Hollands’ temporary quarters in St .

James’s Square ,“a l iterary society not to be equal led in

Europe . H is brief but bright l itt le Sketches of some of the

notabil it ies he m et are al l too few . S ir James Mackintoshis described as precise and rather “ made up ” in manners

and conversati on ; Sydney Smith as a m an of about fifty ,corpulent though not gross, and l iable to be mistaken at first

s ight for merely a gay, easy gent leman , careless of everything

but the pleasures of conversat ion and society . But further

acqua intance discloses a fund of good sense , sound j udgment ,and accurate reasoning , a humour giving such grace to his

argument that i t comes with the charm of wit , and a wi t so

appropriate that it s sa l l ies are often logic in masquerade .

Brougham looks about thirty-eight , i s ta l l , thin , and ratherawkward , with pla in and not very expressive countenanceand inferior manners . At first , or on common topics, nobody

could seem more commonplace ; but when any subj ect excited

him the l istener became instant ly aware that he was con

versing with no ordinary m an.

1 During his second visit toEngland , fifteen or more years later, Ticknor frequent lydined at Holland House, when , he says, Lady Holland , Irea l ly th ink, made an effort to be agreeable , and she certa in lyhas power to be so when she chooses ; but I think I cou ldnever l ike her 2 I t was a pleasure to him ,

however, to dinei n that grand old G i l t Room , with its two ancient , deep fireplaces, and to hear Lord Holland

’

s gen ia l ta lk. Two thingsseem to have struck him part icu larly : firstly , the freedomwith which the company, including M in isters , crit icised theKing ; and secondly, the simple manner in which the PrimeMin ister behaved and was treated . The company on one

occasion included Earl Grey , Lord and Lady Cowper, LordMinto , the Lord Advocate Murray, and Lord Me lbourne .

1 Ticknor, Vol . I . ,pp . 2 18— 220 .

1 I bid . , Vol . I I . , p, 144 .

192


have been first used as a metaphor taken from th e parable in

the New Testament , and to have gradua l ly passed from the

vocabu lary of divin ity into common use . She seemed sur

prised at this theory , never having, so far as he could j udge ,even heard of the parable of the ta lents . And he adds,

“ I

did not te l l h er, though I might have done so, that a personwho professes to be a crit ic of the de l icacies of the Englishlanguage ought to have the Bible at his fingers ’ ends .

” 1

However, he admitted her to be a woman of considerableta lent and great l iterary acqu irements ; and from the verdictof such a j udge there cou ld be no appea l . On another occasion

,when inspect ing the portra i ts in th e l ibrary , h e came

upon one of Lady Holland pa in ted some thirty years prev iously , and declared he cou ld have cried to see th e change ,for She must have been a most beaut ifu l woman . When it

was announced , i n January , 1834 , that Macaulay had been

appointed a member of the Supreme Council of India , hehad a most extraordinary scene with her Ladyship .

If She had been as young and handsome as sh e was thirty yearsago, she would have turned my head . S he was quite hysterica l aboutmy going pa id m e such compliments as I cannot repea t ; cr ied, raved ,called m e Dear, dear Macaulay . You are sacrificed to your family .

I see it all . You are too good for them . They are a lways makinga tool of you : last session about the slaves , and now sending you toIndia .

’ ” 2

She not on ly talked like th is to Macau lay himsel f, i tappears , but stormed at the Min isters for lett ing him go,and was so violent one day at dinner that Lord Hollandcould not command himsel f and broke out , Don ’t ta lk

such nonsense , my lady. What the devi l ! Can we te l l agentleman who has a cla im upon us that he must lose hisonly chance of gett ing an independency in order that hem ay com e to ta lk to you in an evening ? ” 8

Perhaps the best genera l notion of the bri l l iant ta lk that

1 Macau lay, Life ,

”15 1 .

6

2 I bid. ,p . 2 55 .

z p . 25

I 94


was usua l ly to be heard at Holland House is to be obta inedfrom some of the entr ies in Grevi l le ’s diary, a lthough

the diarist admits that it somet imes made him fee l uncomfortable , because pa in ful ly conscious of h is own deficiencies .

In September, 183 4 , he j otted down the heads of the l iteraryta lk at dinner one day, when Spring R ice and his son

,

Me lbourne, Pa lmerston , Allen , and Bohus Smith were ofthe party

They talked ofTaylor’s new poem , Philip vanArteve lde .

’ Me lbournehad read and admired it. Th e Prefa ce , he sa id , was affected and foolish ;the poem itself very superior to anything in Milman . There was one

fine idea in Th e Fa ll of J erusa lem — that of Titus, who felt himself propelled by an irresistible impulse , l ike tha t of th e Greek dramatists ,whose fate is th e grea t agent a lways pervading their dramas . Theyheld Wordsworth cheap , except Spring Rice , who was enthusiasticabout him . Holland thought Crabbe th e greatest genius of modernpoe ts . Melbourne sa id h e degraded every subject . None of them h adknown Coleridge ; h is lectures were very tiresome , but he is a poet ofgrea t merit .”

The ta lk then diverged to other matters . Melbourne tolda story about Irving ca l l ing on him to remonstrate aga in stthe prohibit ion of preaching in the streets . Lord Hollandrelated some anecdotes of Lord North and the Duke of

R ichmond, etc. After dinner l iterature came up aga in , and

they discussed the work of women authors, finding few chefsd

’

oeuvres and admitting only Madame de Sevigne, Madame

de S tae l , and Sappho into the first class , though LadyHol land was for the exclusion of Madame de Stae l . Mrs .

Somervi lle was admitted to be great in th e exact sciences ,and Miss Austen ’s nove ls, i f not in the first rank ,were a l lowedto be excel lent . By

-and -by th e talk got round to Germanl iterature , and Me lbourne told the following story , which m ay

remind th e reader of a somewhat similar one which has sinceobta ined currency in connection with Robert Browning

Klopstock had a sect of admirers in Germany. Some young studentsmade a pilgrimage from Gottingen to Hamburg, where Klopstock l ivedin his Old age , to ask him the meaning of a passage in one of h is works

195 o 2


which they could not understand . H e looked a t it , and then sa id hecould not recollect wha t it was tha t he meant when he wrote it , b utthat h e knew it was the finest thing he ever wrote , and they could notdo be tter than devote the ir lives to the discovery of its meaning .

” 1

Macau lay , in h is essay on Lord Holland , has a fine passageon

“ that venerable chamber, in which a ll th e antique gravity

of a college l ibrary was so singu larly blended with a l l thatfemale grace and wit could devise to embel l ish a drawingroom ,

”and draws a ttention to the pecul iar character which

belonged to that circle , in which every ta lent and accom

plishm ent , every art and science , had its place, where one

might hear “the last debate discussed in one corner, and the

last comedy of Scribe in another, while Wilkie gazed withm odest admirat ion on S ir Joshua

’

s Barett i , while Mackintoshturned over Thomas Aquinas to verify a quotat ion , whileTa l leyrand re lated h is conversat ions with Barras at the

Luxembourg or h is ride with Larmes over the fie ld of

Austerl itz .

” Macaulay and everybody e lse , however , thoughtthat when Lord Hol land died , in 1840 , the society of HollandHouse would be broken up entire ly , making , as Grevi l le put

it , a vacuum in society which noth ing could supply, and

,

in l itera l truth , ecl ipsing the ga iety of nat ions . But theyreckoned without the ir hostess ; and Greville was forced toadmit

,when he dined at Holland House in 184 1 , that

everything was exactly as it used to be . H e wished that ashorthand wri ter cou ld have been there to take down theconversat ion , for it was not only curious in itsel f, but curiouslyi l l ustrat ive , h e thought , of th e character of th e performers .

Macaulay was there ; and , i n th e absence of the wished -for

shorthand writer, Grevil le ventures on a condensed report ofh is share i n the conversation

Before dinner some mention was made of the portra its of theSpeakers in the Speaker’s house , and I asked how far they went back .

Ma caulay sa id h e was not sure , but certa inly as far a s S ir ThomasMore .

‘ S ir Thomas More ? sa id Lady Holland . I did not know he

1 Grevi l le, Part I . , Vo l . I I I .,pp . 126— 130 .

196


had ceased to re ign there , her dinners in South Street were

sti l l the most agreeable i n London . S ir Henry Holland 1

remembered one in October , 1845— th e last Sh e eve r gave

when Thiers and Pa lmerston m et , as h e bel ieved , for the

first t ime , and at her table smothered the angry feel ingsgenerated by prior diplomacy . And to the last , as anotherObserver test ifies , with a voice reta in ing its girl ish sweetness,She welcomed every guest , i nvited or casual , with the old

cordia l ity and queenly grace .

”

I f S ir Henry Holland , who, besides being a physician , was

a tra ined psychologist , found Lady Holland difficu lt to

describe,it is smal l wonder that she appears to u s a highly

complex and puzzl ing character. From first to last nobodyever expected Lady Holland to do anything whatever in

th e conventiona l way . Rogers, for instance , tel l s us of th e

characterist ica l ly odd manner i n which she announced the

death of Charles James Fox to those re lat ives and int imate

friends who were sitt ing in a room near h is bed-chamber,wa it ing to hear that he had breathed his last . S he merelywa lked through the room with her apron thrown over h er

head .

2 H er unconventional , though highly successful , regu lat ion of her dinner-part ies has a lready been abundantlyexemplified . I t has a l so been Shown that wh ile capriciousand tyrannica l , and exhibit ing a mischievous de l ight in provoking, and somet imes even insu lting , her friends , she was

yet , at the same t ime , eager to do the same persons somekindness or va luable service . She seems to have cared littlefor h er own children , but to have been capable of strong andlast ing friendship for certa in other persons whose charactersshe respected ; and she invariably showed remarkable kindness to her servants . Although notorious as a Freeth inker,She never tolerated any irrel igious ta lk in her house . She

was superst it ious to a degree : wou ld not set out on a

j ourney on a Friday for any considerat ion ; had all the

1 S ir Henry Hol land , Reco l lections, p. 233 .

2 Tab le Ta lk ,” pp. 96 , 97 .

198


windows closed and candles l ighted whenever there was a

thunderstorm , and even , so it is sa id, dressed up her ma id inher own clothes to a ttract the thunderbolt intended forherse lf ; was frightened out of her wits when th e choleracame as near as G lasgow and habitua l ly worried herse lf lesth er unpleasant dreams shou ld come true . Yet in her lasti l lness she faced death with a phi losophic ca lmness whichastonished a ll who knew h er . And She managed to astonishher friends, in another way , even after her death , for whenh er wil l was opened it was found 1 that while Babington ,h er medica l a ttendant , rece ived an annu ity , while Macau lay,Luttre l l , and other of her dist inguished friends rece ivedlegacies of varying amounts , while a ll her servants were moreor less amply provided for, h er children and grandchildrenwere a ll but ignored . The greater part of her landed property, estimated to be worth about a year, was left toLord John Russe ll , who did not want it , for l ife and to herdaughter, Lady Lilford , who did want it , Sh e left nothingat a ll . F ew women , even with the a ids of wea lth , beauty ,and a t it le , cou ld have righted themse lves with Society as

sh e did after figuring in a notorious divorce case . Fewerst i ll , though with the most impeccable record, wou ld everhave assumed such privi leges as she did , or, if they had ,would have found the world so docile i n submitting to the irvagaries . Se lfish , yet generous ; irrel igious, yet superstitious g whimsica l, provoking , rude , yet obliging and con

siderate ; an unnatura l mother, yet a staunch friend ;capric ious and tyrannica l

, yet a lways fascinat ing, LadyHolland was, as Grevil le we l l says,

“a very strange

woman,

”a character difficu lt even for those who knew

h er int imate ly to describe , — impossible , perhaps , for those

who have not known her at a ll .

1 Gentlem an’

sMagazine, 1846 , Part I .,p. 91.

I 99

IAB RAHAM TUCKER O I" BETC l-HVOR'

I‘

I I CASTLE .

F rom a n eng r a v ing

A METAPH YS ICAL H UMORI ST ABRAHAM

TUCKER


advert isement of a ph ilosoph ico- theological treat ise i n sevenlarge volumes is certa in ly ca lcu lated to appa l any but themost voracious of readers . Yet i t is impossib le to turn over

the pages of any one of these seven volumes without having the

eye arrested by some pregnant sentence , or fel ici tous i l lustrat ion

, or qua in t conce i t, such as wou ld induce any discerningreader to cult ivate a closer acqua intance with the ir author .And the reader who did go on to make such further acqua int

ance, a lthough he might not be disposed to accept , or evento attempt to master , Tucker

’

s system in its entirety, wou ldfind so much that is i l l uminat ing on variou s problems inpsychology, in ethics , and i n theology, as we l l as SO much

sound common -sense in the author’s practica l appl icat ion‘

of

h is ideas to l ife, that he wou ld find it difficu lt to understandhow so rich a mine of suggest ive thought and bri l l ianti l lustrat ion can have been a l lowed to lie so long in obscurity .

And in addit ion to this , or rather interwoven with it , as inthe essays of Monta igne, the reader wou ld l ikewise finda del ineat ion of the author ’s own character, showing him tohave been a m an of an exceptional ly happy temperament , ashrewd and prudent country gentleman , amiable and

benevolent in conduct , serene and cheerful in temper, no lessdist ingu ished from th e squ irearchy of hi s day by an uncon

querable aversion both to fox -hunt ing and to place-hunting,and by a devot ion to pla in l iving and high th inking

,than he

is from most of the philosophers of that or any other dayby the possession of a rich vein of qua int and quiet humour,which runs through and colours a ll his specu lat ions , on even

the highest and most sacred themes .All that i s known of the circumstances of Tucker’s

uneventful l i fe might a lmost be conta ined on a ha l f-sheet ofnotepaper, and we m ay learn more about him from the

persona l deta i ls with which h e occasiona l ly i l lustrates a

philosophica l problem than from the meagre biographica l

sketch which h is grandson prefixed to the 1805 edit ion of“ The Light of Nature .

”H e was born in London on

204

ABRAHAM TUCKER

September 2nd, 1705 , and was the only son of a rich Cit ymerchant of Somersetshire extract ion , who died during theboy ’s infancy . H e was left to the guardianship of S ir I saacTi llard , a m aterna l uncle , of whom Tucker a lways spokewith affect ion and grat itude , declaring tha t it was to h isuncle ’s bright example tha t h e owed every principle of

honour, benevolence , and l ibera l ity tha t he possessed . We

m ay presume , though h e does not te l l u s so ,that h is

characteristic whimsica l ity was a lso derived from th e samesource . At any rate , i t i s s ignificant that the only record wehave of this uncle is that whenever young Abraham was

ca l led upon to write a periodica l letter to some of h is other

relat ions S ir I saac invariably referred him to the ApostlePau l as- the best mo de l for epistolary composit ion . In 172 1 ,

after leaving a school at Bishop ’s S tortford, Tucker was

entered a gentleman commoner at Merton College , Oxford .

While there be devoted most of h is t ime to mathemat ica land metaphys ical studies, but h e a lso made himse l f a m asterof the French and I ta l ian languages , and l ikewise acquiredconsiderable proficiency in music , for which he possessedmuch natura l ta lent . Three years later he was entered a t

the Middle Temple , where h e acqu ired such a knowledge of

law as enabled him both to conduct the management of h is

own affa irs , and to give va luable advice to h is friends and

ne ighbours on occasion , though h e was never ca lled to th e

B ar. In 1727 he purchased Betchworth Castle , near Dorking ,together with a large landed estate , and immediate ly set about

acquiring th e informat ion necessary for i ts proper manage

ment . I t is characterist ic of him tha t he committed topaper a number of observat ions on this subj ect which he had

se lected from various authors, both ancient and modern ,together with remarks which h e had made him se lf or had

collected from the experience Of h is ne ighbours and tenants.

In 173 6 , at the age of thirty-one , h e m arried h is wife be ing

Dorothy, daughter of Edward Barker, of East Betchworth ,Curs itor Baron of the Exchequer. By this lady, with whom

205


he l ived in great happiness unti l her death , e ighteen years

afterwards, he had two daughters : Dorothea Maria , whomarried S ir Henry Paulet St . John , Bart . , of Dogm ersfield

Park , in Hampshire , and Judith , who survived her father,inherited h is estates , and died unmarried in 1795 . Both hi swi fe and h is daughters are occasiona l ly ment ioned in The

Light of Nature ,”

a lways by way of i l lustrat ing someph ilosophica l or mora l point under discussion , the wife be inginvariably referred to as Euridice,

”and the daughters as

Serena and Sparkle . In the Sixth chapter Of h is first

volume , for example , when arguing aga inst Locke that desire

i s not constantly accompanied with uneasiness, he i l lustratesh is point as follows

I m ay say with Mr . Dryden, O ld as I am , for lady’

s love unfit, thepower of beauty I remember yet .

’ I still bear in mind the days of mycourtship , wh ich in th e language of all m en is ca lled a season of desire ;yet, unless I strangely forge t myself, it proved to m e a season of satisfaction too . Bu t, says Mr . Locke, it is better t o marry than to burn , wherewe m ay see what it is tha t chiefly drives m en into a conjuga l l ife . This,for aught I know , might be the motive with some m en, who , be ing ofan unsociable and undomestic turn , can see nothing good in ma trimony ,but submit to it as a lesser evil del ivering them from a greater . AndI can excuse an old bachelor for enterta in ing so despicable a notion ofa state h e never experienced the pleasures of himself . Others

,it m ay

be , make the ir engagements too hastily, and then would break them offaga in through the shame of doing a foolish thing , till the smart of the irburnings becomes intolerable , and drives them headlong into the ma trimonia l net. But this, thanks to my stars , wa s not my case : my ownjudgment , upon mature deliberation , and the approbation of my friends ,gave leave for desire to take its course . I might fee l some scorchingsin my youthful days when it would have been imprudent to quenchthem , and while the object of desire lay at an undiscernible distance :b u t as the prospect grew nearer, and desire had l icence to begin itscareer , i t had no more th e fierceness of a furnace , but became a gentleflame , casting forth a pleasing , exhilara ting warmth . Perhaps I mightmeet with some little rubs in th e way , that gave m e disturbance : ifmy fa ir one spoke a civil word to any ta ll , well -bred young fellow ,

Imight enterta in some idle apprehensions lest h e Should supplant m e .

When I took a hackney c oach to visit h er, if we were jam m ed in betweenthe carts, perhaps I might fre t and fume, and utter many an uneasyPish but as soon as we got through the stop , though desire abated

206


author’s own Singu lar mind and character. Tucker then

devoted h imse l f to the educat ion Of h is two girls, be ing h imse l f the ir French and I ta l ian tutor, and a lso instructing them

in many branches of“ science ,

”above all

,says h is grand

son, be ing carefu l to inst i l i nto . the ir minds the purest

principles of mora l i ty, benevolence , and re l igion . I t was one

of Tucker’s theories that the Spiri t of emu lat ion and the

encouragement of van ity were too much in use in the educat ion of the young . H e he ld that it was possible to cult ivatethe desire for excel lence without the des ire of exce l l ing , a

n ice dist inct ion which everybody cannot be brought to appreciate . At any rate , h e says

I found no occasion for it with my Serena and Sparkle : on thecontrary I endeavoured sedulously to pick out every seed a s fast assprinkled by any old woman of their acqua intance : and I have thepleasure to find they have made as good proficiency in every li ttleaccomplishment I could gi ve them , have as much reputa tion in th eworld , and are as we ll rece ived , even among persons of qua l ity , as Icould wish .

”

Tucker had no turn for pol it ics ; and a l though frequently

asked to stand for h is county , h e a lways unhesitat inglyrefused . H e was remarkable , says h is grandson , for abstinence at table , and passed th e t ime which other country

squ ires passed over the ir bottle , or bottles, in walking abouth is estate and gett ing al l the informat ion he cou ld from the

practica l experience of h is tenants . When in London , whereh e spent some months every year, he usual ly arranged hiswa lks so as to execute h is own commissions ; but i f therewere no business to be done , he wou ld not forego h is regularexercise , but took a wa lk from h is house in Great James ’s

Street to St . Pau l ’s or the Bank , j ust , as he j ocularly observed ,to see what it was o ’clock .

” Both in town and country h eseem s to have led a very ret ired l ife , and i t was apparentlyonly amongst h is relat ions and a few Old college chums tha tbe exhibited h is very pretty ta lent for the socrat ic method of

di sputat ion . His amusements were of the Simplest kind , and

208

ABRAHAM TUCKER

when he wanted a l itt le recreat ion after a morning ’s hardwork at The Light of Nature ,

”he declared the veriest trifles

su ited him best , such as loll ing ou t at a window like MissC awkey, to see the wheelbarrow trundle or the butcher’sdog carry the tray .

” At one t ime he used to play backgammon by himself on Sundays , one hand aga inst the other,because he would not play with anybody e lse ; not that h ethought it wrong to do so , but because people might tattleabout it

,and h is example be used to authorise th ings more

mischievous . H e was one of B ishop Sherlock ’s flock,he

tel ls u s,whose discourses he heard with much pleasure , and ,

he hopes, emolument . His re l igion was of the sober and

temperate order, and h e was greatly offended at some of the

extravagancies of the Methodist reviva l .

Selfishness and insensib ility to all around us seem to be made thecharacteristics of high perfection in Religion : our fellow -creatures ofa different language , or make , or way of thinking , or sentiment on somespeculative point , are not thought worth our concern ; but so we our

selves , together with a few of the same orthodox stamp , be safe, the

devil take a ll the world beside , as deserving victims of a divine wrathnever to be appeased . F or my part , I cannot help being shocked tohear with wha t ca lmness th e most pious people will ta lk of th e innum er

able multitudes tha t are to perish in everlasting flames ; and with whatg lee th e Methodists rega le upon the thought that at the day of Judgmentth e rich and mighty of this world sha ll be dragged by devils , forWhitefie ld and h is mob of carmen and basket -women to trample underfoot . ’

I t is obvious that a m an of this temperament , circumstanced as he was , would have abundance of le isure , whichh e would be desirous of turn ing to some inte l lectua l account ;and i t occurred to Tucker that , as h is thoughts had a lwaystended towards searching into the foundat ions and measuresof right and wrong ,

”h e might as wel l put into black and

white , whether for publ icat ion or not , th e scheme of a reconci l iat ion between re l igion and reason which had gradua l lybeen taking Shape in h is mind . Accordingly in 1756, when

j ust over fifty years of age , h e began what proved to be a

very extensive l iterary undertaking , for it afforded continuou s

209 P


occupation for the rema in ing e ighteen years of h is l ife .

Whatever m ay have been the motive which actuated him inso doing , i t cannot have been l iterary ambition , for when ,a fter seven years’ labour

,he publ ished , by way of specimen

,

the section on Free -will,

”and then , two years after that ,

the first four volumes of his growing treat ise , both bookswere issued under the pseudonym of “ Edward Search ” ;and i t was not unti l some four years after h is death , when

the rem a in ing three volumes were publ ished by his daughter,that the rea l

‘

name of the ir author became known . Ne itherwould th e recept ion of th e first four volumes have encouraged

a m an actuated by l iterary ambition to devote nine moreyears to the complet ion of the work , for they were reviledby th e reviewers , neglected by the public , and disparaged byh is own friends . Th e probabi l ity seems to be that he wroteprimari ly to please himsel f, finding pleasure i n putt ing into

Shape and order his own abounding thoughts and fancies,and thinking— as, i n fact , he acknowledges to have been thecase— that by so doing he wou ld clear up some dubiou s point sin h is own mind . In his introduct ion , he incidental ly refersto my reader, i f I have one

”

; but as the work proceededh e seems to have antic ipated an audience that wou ld be fit

,

though few , and tha t what he modestly ca l led his “rude

sketches ” might be the cause of some completer and morefinished product ion “ which m ay obta in genera l currencyand do signa l service among mankind when Search and h is

embryo work are clean forgotten .

”To a certa in extent thi s

has happened , for,

‘

as S ir F itzjam es Stephen remarked ,Pa ley

’

s Mora l Ph ilosophy is l itt le more than an adaptat ion of one l imb of Tucker’ s book . At the same t ime , andthough dea l ing large ly with metaphysics and psychology

,

Tucker never seems to have had th e technica l expert in h ismind

’

s eye , but to have shaped his arguments and chosenh is i l lustrat ions so that they might be readily comprehendedby

— the expression i s h is own the first m an you m ay meetin the street .”

2 10


kept him pleasantly employed for many hours which otherwise might have passed vacant or irksome . When

,in 1771 ,

cataract in both eyes made him tota l ly bl ind , he not on lybore th e affl ict ion with resignation and cheerfu lness

,but , by

means of a l itt le machine of his own contrivance to guide th ehand , managed to write out the concluding chapters of hiswork with su fficient legibil ity for them to be readily tran

scribed by an amanuens is . I t is a significant tra i t of Tucker’scharacter, as Hazlitt we l l says , that he nowhere makes thesl ightest a l lusion to this distressing circumstance . I t a lso says

something for h is pet theories of educat ion , as we l l as for thecharacter of the young lady h ersel f, that h is daughter Judithnot only became h is amanuensis and transcribed the whole

of h is volum inous work for the press , but a lso learned enough

Greek to be able to read to h er father, in order that hisbl indness might not deprive him of the solace of his favouriteclassica l authors H e l ived long enough to complete The

Light of Nature, though not to give i t the fina l revisionwhich he had in tended . On look ing it over, h e said , he found

the performance fa l l Short of the idea he had had at start ing,

and perhaps his des ign requ ired a more expert and masterlyhand ; but having done his best , he wil l rest content .

Th e women genera lly end the ir letters with , Excuse mistakesthrough haste and many ma le authors affect to give you a hint thatthey could have done better if they had a mind or would have a llowedthemselves more le isure : but I happen not to be of a humour to desireexcuse for mistakes through haste ; I h ad rather the reader should standsa tisfied of my care and honest zea l in h is service though at the expenseof my ab ilities, and bel ieve where he sees a blemish that I should havedone better if I had known how . F or of how little importance soeverth is a ttempt m ay prove ,

it seemed the most important I was qua l ifiedto undertake and I have la id down all a long tha t it is not so much thesignificancy of the part assigned , as the just and diligent performanceof it , that merits a plaudit .

”

Tucker died in 1774 , at the age Of sixty- n ine ; and the three

concluding volumes of h is treat ise were published by h is

daughter four years afterwards .

2 12

ABRAHAM TUCKER

I t is by no means easy to give within a modera te compassan inte l l ig ible account of Tucker’ s work . The problem whichhe seems to have proposed to him se l f was this G iven sucha creature as m an in such a world as th e present , what canwe learn by th e l ight of nature a lone concerning our re lat ion to the universe, and what sort of guidance wil l th isl ight afford us in the practica l conduct of l i fe ? H is answerto the problem occupies no less than octavo pages ;and as he set out withou t any very definite plan , worked outevery corollary with immense e laborat ion , repeated himse lfby discussing the same subj ects over and over aga in in a

Sl ightly varying form , and overla id the whole with such an

abundance of i l lustrat ive comment tha t somet imes one

cannot see the wood for the trees, i t is obvious that wemust l imit ourselves to one or two characterist ic points ofthe work .

Tucker procla ims himse l f to be a follower of Locke ,a lthough occasional ly he ventures to disagree with h is

master ; and he adopts unreservedly Hart ley ’s principle ofassociat ion , which , however, he renames “ translat ion .

”

All our knowledge , such as it i s , i s derived from sensation andreflect ion , whence by

“ translat ion ” we get our“ Opinions ,

assents , and j udgments . There are two kinds of j udgmentappearance , which is the j udgment of sense ; and opin ion ,which is the j udgment of understanding ; both unfortunate lyvery apt to be wrong ! Yet every j udgment , while i t is our

present j udgment , carries the same face of veracity and

the h ighest p itch to which assurance ever rises is when we

can form no conception how things can possib ly be otherwise than as we apprehend them . I t does not follow,

however, that we m ay never depend upon such knowledge as

we have , for, as absolute certa inty was not made for m an,

m an is so const ituted as to do very wel l without it . Tucker

q ua int ly adds that a lthough he is we l l enough persuaded thattwo and two make four, yet i f he were to meet with a person

of credit , candour, and understanding who Shou ld seriously

2 13


ca l l i t in quest ion , he wou ld give him a hearing. Accordingto Tucker ’s psychology

,we have two “ facult ies ” only

,

imaginat ion and understanding , the former being the execu

t ive power and having for the most part the direct ion of ou r

conduct , while the latter is a legisla t ive power , serviceable

chiefly for putting the suggestions of the other into proper“ tra ins .” All human act ion is determined by mot ives and

what we cal l the wil l does not control ou r motives, but is,on the contrary, controlled by them . The great dominant

motive of human nature is the prospect of what he ca l ls

sat isfact ion ,” which

,bei ng interpreted , means the obta in ing

of pleasure or the avoiding of pa in . Men a lways do that“ where in they for the present apprehend th e greatest sat is

faction .

” Even when they forego pleasures or endure pa ins,they do so for the sake of something which they conce iveto be more sat isfactory . The virtues are described as

“ habits or turns of sentiment incl in ing spontaneously tosuch points of a im or courses of act ion as sober reason and

sound j udgment wou ld recommend ,”and the passion s are

regarded as only a stronger sort of habits acqu ired in ch i ldhood . Honour, fortitude , temperance , j ust ice , and benevolence are all found to rest on a util itarian bas i s ; and i t i sa ltogether by means of “ translat ion that the base meta lof se lfishness h as been transmuted into the pure gold of

benevolence . The sum m um bonum i s declared to be

happiness, defined as“the aggregate of sat isfact ions

and Tucker does not scruple to recommend the grat ificat ionof ou r desires as “

the proper business of l ife . H e is carefu lto point ou t , however , that pleasure , in the vu lgar acceptat ionof the word , will not a lways even plea se , and that unfortunately our desires Often defeat thei r own purpose , so tha t

thei r very interest somet imes cal ls for se l f-denia l ; but i nitse l f sel f-denia l is an evil , and i ts only u se i s “ for inuringus to do the same th ings w e did under i t without any se lf

denia l at a ll .”Most people , he points out , have an entirely

mistaken notion of pleasure, l ike the boy who wished to be a

2 14


to take some ru le , the product of her former experience or ofother people ’

s experience or j udgment , for h er mark of direc

t ion, and her u lt imate end i s therefore ve ry rare ly her u lt imate

point of view ; and even when she has fixed upon h er point ,whether u lt imate or subordinate , i t wil l ava i l nothing unless

she can ra ise up an appet ite or habit to create an immediate

sat isfact ion in the prosecut ion or an uneasiness i n the devia

t ion from it . Man has been wrongly defined as a ra t iona l

an ima l , says Tucker ; he i s only sensit ivo -rat iona l . And then,

by way of i l lustrat ing the act ion and i nteract ion of these

two part s of our const itution , h e gives u s a pecul iarly fine

and highly wrought simile, a fter the manner of Plato . I twil l be remembered that in Plato ’ s Phaedrus the form of

the sou l is compared to a charioteer and a pa ir of wingedsteeds, one of which is mortal , the other im mortal . The

charioteer represents reason , the black horse , an i l l - condi

t ioned an ima l , who wil l hardly yie ld to blow or spur, stands

for the sensua l e lement in human na ture ; and the white

horse, a noble steed , readi ly gu ided by word and admonit iononly , represents th e heaven -aspiring and sp iritua l e lement inhumanity. But says Tucker

I think the mind m ay be more commodiously compared to a

traveller rid ing a single horse , where in Reason is represented by th er ider ; and Imagination , with all its tra in of opinions, appetites , and

habits, by th e beast. Everybody sees that th e horse does all the workh e carries h is master a long every step of the j ourney , directs the motionof h is own legs in wa lking , trotting , gallOpp ing , or stepping over a rote ,makes many by-motions, as whisking the fl ies with h is ta il , or playingwith h is bit , a ll by h is own instinct ; and if th e road lie pla in and open ,without bugbears to affright h im , or rich pasture on e ither hand toentice him , h e will j og on , a lthough the reins were la id upon h is neck ,or in a well-acqua inted road , take the turnings of h is own accord .

Perhaps sometimes h e m ay prove startish or restive , turning out of thew ay, or running into a pond to drink , maugre a ll endeavours to preventh im ; but this depends grea tly upon th e d iscipline he has been used to .

The offi ce of the r ider l ies in putting his horse into the proper road , andthe pace most convenient for th e present purpose

,guiding and con

ducting h im as he goes a long , checking him when too forward , or

spurring h im when too tardy , be ing attentive to h is motions, never

2 16

ABRAHAM TUCKER

dropping the whip nor losing the re ins, but ready to interpose instantlywhenever needfu l, keeping firm in h is sea t if th e beast behaves unruly ,observing wha t passes in th e way , the condition of the ground , and

bearings of th e country , in order to take directions therefrom for h isproceeding . But this is not a ll h e has to do h e must get h is tacklingin good order , bridle , Spurs, and other accoutrements ; h e must learnto s it well in th e saddle , to understand the ways and temper of th ebeast , get acqua inted with th e roads, and inure himself by practiceto bear long j ourneys without fa tigue or galling ; he must provideprovender for h is horse , and dea l it out in proper quantities ; for ifweak and jadish , or pampered and gamesome , h e will not perform th e

j ourney we ll : h e must have him well broke , taught all h i s paces , curedof starting, stumbling, running away , and a ll skittish or sluggish tricks,tra ined to answer th e bit and b e obedient to the word of command .

I f h e can tea ch him to canter whenever there is a smooth and leve lturf, and stop where th e ground lies rugged , of h is own accord , it willcontribute to making riding easy and plea sant h e m ay then enj oy th eprospects a round , or think of any business, withou t interruption to h isprogress . As to th e choice of a horse , our rider has no concern withtha t , h e must content h imse lf with such as na ture and education haveput into h is hands ; but since th e spirit of the beast depends muchupon the usage given him , every prudent m an will endeavour to proportion tha t spirit to h is own strength and skill in horsemanship ; and

a ccording as h e finds himse lf a good or a bad rider , will wish to haveh is horse sober or mettlesome . F or strong passions work wonderswhere there is a stronger force of reason to curb them b ut where thisi s weak

, the appetites must b e feeble too , or they will lie under nocontrol .”

Although the desire of sat isfact ion i s the ma inspring of

a ll our mot ives,there are a number of other principles of

human conduct and a number of subsidiary motives whichrequire to be taken account of. Most of these motives are

of the translated ” kind , i .e., so transformed by associat ion

that wha t was origina l ly only a means to an end has become

an end i n itse lf. When we attempt to recollect the induce

ments of ou r conduct, h e remarks, there commonly occur,instead of them

,specious reasons serving to j usti fy i t to

ourse lves or to the world ; and he warns us to beware of th isj ugglery and a lways make sure of knowing what are our

rea l mot ives, for only by the study of m ot ives can we come

to know ourselves . The foundat ion of all the virtues i s

2 17


mora l prudence , a qua l ity which he finds i t somewhathard to define . Considered from one point of view,

it is a

dispos it ion of mind to regard distant good equa l ly withpresent pleasure , est imating both according to the ir rea l , notapparent , magnitude, l ike the ski l l we have of di scerning agrown person twenty yards off to be larger than a ch ildsi tt ing in our lap , though the latter take up more room in

our eye .

” This is declared to be the most durable possess ion

we can have and the very essence Of mora l wisdom .

Benevolence , though genera l ly treated by ethica l wri ters as

a branch of j ust ice, might more appropriately, h e thinks , heconsidered as the root from which the other springs ; and heproposes to raise i t to the rank of a fifth cardina l v irtue .

The pure gold of benevolence i s another thing a ltogether

from the base meta l se lfishness , out of which i t has been

translated .

”

Persons deficient in this qua lity endeavour to run it down , and

justify the ir own narrow views , by a lleging tha t it is only se lfishness ina particular form : for if the benevolent m an does a good -natured thing ,for h is own sat isfaction that h e finds in it , there is self at bottom ,

for h e a cts to please himse lf. Where then ,’

say they , ‘ is h is merit ?What is he better than us H e follows constantly what h e likes

,and

so do we : the only difference between us is tha t we have a differenttaste of pleasure from him .

’ To take these objections in order, let u sconsider tha t form in many ca ses is al l in a ll , the essence of thingsdepending thereupon . Fruit, when com e to its ma turity, or during itsstate of sap in the tree , or of earthy particles in the ground , is th e samesubstance a ll a long : beef, whether raw or roasted or pu trified , is stil lthe same beef

,varying only in form : but whoever sha ll overlook this

difference of form will bring grievous disorders upon h is stomach : sothen there is no absurdity in suppos ing selfishness m ay be foul andnoisome under one form ,

but amiable and recommendable underanother . B ut we have no need to make this supposition , as we sha l lnot admit tha t a cts of kindness , how much soever we m ay follow our

own inclination there in , carry any spice of selfishness . Men are led

into this mistake by laying too much stress upon e tymology : for

selfishness be ing derived from self, they learnedly infer tha t whateveris done to please one ’s own inclination , must fa l l under tha t appellation ,not considering tha t deriva tives do not a lways reta in the ful l latitudeof their roots . Wearing woollen clothes, or ea ting mutton , does not

2 18


made no use , upon which , indeed , he probably looked downwith a mixture of amusement and contempt . Yet i t i sprecise ly this part of the work which the modern reader wil l

i n a ll probabil i ty find most curious and suggest ive,and in

which Tucker exhibits himse lf most unmistakably as a m an

of origina l genius . Having shown imaginat ion to be so muchour strongest facu lty that the convict ions of reason can

se ldom be expected to have much we ight or durat ion unt i lthey can be represented in sensible images , h e was, of course ,only carrying h is own psychologica l pri nciples into pract icewhen , with the object of making the genera l idea of a con

t inned existence in another world less hard of conception,

he proceeded to deve lop at grea t length two hypothesesconcern ing what he ca l led the “ vehicu lar state and the

mundane soul , and to give in th e form of a vision a

deta i led descript ion , as by an eye-witness , of th e l i fe of the

sou l in a future state . H is aim was, he te l l s us, to represent

a future state of be ing which , from all that we know of the

laws of mind and matter, is at least possible , which i scerta in ly innocent of offence , and which , to his mind at any

rate, appeared to be a great dea l more invit ing than thecurrent representations usua l ly offered from th e pu lp it .For the purpose of h is first hypothesis Tucker assumes

that on the death of the body the Spiri t does not go ou t

naked , but carries away with i t a materia l vehicle,”so sma l l

as to be invisi ble and incapable of affecting the finest ba lance .

H e argues that the sma l lest conce ivable part icle of matteris capable of conta in ing as great a variety of parts and

machinery as the whole human body , and that j ust asS t . Pau l ’s Cathedra l , with all its parts complete , might conceivably be reduced to the Size of a nutshe ll , so the humanbody, without the destruct ion of any of its component partsor the ir functions, might be reduced to a size which wou ld beimpercept ible even under the strongest microscope and , incase anybody should be disturbed by the idea of be ingreduced to what they might perhaps consider so contemptible

220

ABRAHAM TUCKER

a size , he reminds them that the strongest and biggest thingson earth are by no means the most favoured by nature .

A little horse shifts its legs quicker than a tall one th e vulture and

the eagle cannot flutter their wings so fast as the sparrow nor did youever see a hornet crawl a long the table so nimbly as a fly ; and l ittlem en are genera lly the quickest in their motions. Imagine a race ofgi ants as big as H ampstead - hill, placed on an earth which , with a ll

its animals , fruits, corn , trees, and vegetables , should be proportionatelyvast : they might then have th e same accommoda tions as we have , butcould not find the same uses and convenience in them ,

by reason ofthe tediousness of the ir motions . Consider how long they must be at

dinner if they sat down at e ight in the morning, they would scarcefinish the ir repast by night , having a mile to carry every morse l fromthe ir pla te to the ir m onth s ; when they went to bed , it must take an

hour to get upsta irs, and after having unbuttoned their coat , they mustgive their arm a swing of two or three miles round to pull down thesleeve behind ; when they talked it would require four or five secondsfor their voices to reach one another ’s ears ; and as it m ay be supposedtheir menta l organs are conformable in size to their bodily, if youasked what’s o ’ clock , it might be necessary to consider ha lf an hourbefore they could think of the proper answer . In short , they mustneeds be a slow , solemn , and heavy generation , without any spark ofwit or livel iness belonging to them . If one of us were migra ted intotheir enormous hulks, should we not , think ye , wish ardently to getback aga in into our less than six - foot bod ies ? And by parity of reasonit m ay be presumed tha t when deli vered from our pre sent cumbersomebodies , if we rememb er anything of our sensations there in , we shall beas much rej oiced to find ourselves in a body proportionably less and

proportionably more a lert , where in we m ay despa tch as much businessin a minute as we can now in an hour, and perhaps be able to readthrough Gu icciardini in the time we are now poring over all th e

nothings in a four—columned newspaper .

”

But even this infinitesima l human body would not be sma l l

enough for Tucker’s purpose ; and , as he did not agree withEpicurus that nature cou ld not form a reasonable creature

except in human shape , he supposed these hypothet ica l“ veh icles to be made , not in the form of a m an or of anyother anima l , but in the form of a bag ; and he imaginedthem ,

moreover, to be composed of a substance so flexibleand so obedient to the wi ll that , whenever required , i t could

be made as soft as a feather or as hard as a bone , or formed

22 1


into any requ isite shape . Even in ou r present condition , hereminds us , we have only one windpipe to ta lk , to whine , to

rant,or to scold with . I f it were necessary to have a different

pipe for every art icu late sound , ou r throats must have beenmade bigger than a chamber organ . And j ust as we are

now able to cast this Single pipe into as many various formsas there are tones of voice to be uttered , so i n the vehicu larstate ”

the whole of ou r frame might be s imilarly const ituted .

Vehicu lar souls,h e concludes, wil l be born into the other

l ife as much a blank paper as ever they came in to this , and

will , therefore, require the care of th e O ld inhabitants of the

State to cherish and educate them ; but a lthough they willhave no actua l remembrance of their l ife on earth , yet , havingacuter facu lt ies than ours, they m ay by appl icat ion and

exercise acquire such a dexterity at inferring causes fromthe ir effects as to discover their own pre - existence , trace out

a ll that h as happened to them in a former state , be able t o

te l l by the manner where in new -comers arrive who they are

and whence they come , and even to become acquainted withthe whole history of mankind

By these marks they m ay find out a wife , a child, a brother, a

friend , a neighbour, a compatriot, and (wha t is more than we coulddo with our faculty of remembrance) m ay distinguish the ir descendantswho never came to the birth , or were sna tched away from the ircradle .

”

At the same t ime, a lthough a sou l enters the “ vehicu larstate ”

a mere tabu la rasa, and a lthough “th e sp irits of an

angel , a pol it ician, a shoe -C leaner , an idiot , a m an, or a ch ild,are intrinsica l ly the same,

”

yet every m an goes ou t of th isworld with a differently mode l led vehic le,

”not only accord

ing as h e has been a soldier or a scholar, a merchant or amechanic , a gent leman or a labourer

,but a lso according to

the j oys and a ffl i ct ions , the successes and disappointments ,the thoughts and the habits , which have been his throughoutth is morta l l ife . The inhabitants of the

“ vehicu lar state ”

form a regu lar community , and , in addit ion to the ir own

222


are drawn al l th e sou ls needfu l for the bodies that are borninto this world , and th e vacant spaces are fi l led up by thepassage into it of fu lly deve loped spirits from th e

“ vehicu lar

state .

”The parts of the universa l sou l wi l l serve for organs

t o each other, conveying perceptions i nstantaneously fromthe most distant regions of nature , distribut ing to every one

whatever informat ion it m ay concern h im to rece ive , for weknow of nothing so qu ick as thought , nor that i t takes up

any t ime in its progress .” As the ir knowledge is derived from

one common fund,they wi ll all have the same sentiments

and rules of conduct . And see ing that ou r spirits m ay verywel l be capable of rece iv ing impressions from twenty senses

,

though now we are provided with only five and have nomore concept ion of any others than a blind m an has of l ight ,th e extent of th e mundane understanding must not be l imitedby the narrowness of our own, though there i s no reason foru s to suppose i t infinite . But th is god , or anima l , or glorifiedm an,

which i s th e world ,“ wil l have a ful l discernment of

all his parts , with their combinat ions, proport ions, Situat ions ,and uses .” The minutest th ing wi ll not escape h is not ice ;he will be all i ntel ligence , perfect reason , and unerring

j udgment ; and his act ivity wil l be co-extensive with hisinte l l igence . Tucker, in fact , makes the mundane sou l asort of deputy or vice-regent of God , and credits h im with

the genera t ion and sustentat ion of the world . The strength

of each of these Spirit s singly, he says , might be very trifl ing ,perhaps scarce able to l ift a mote in the sunbeams , yet by

thei r un ited act ion they would be able to perform far morestupendous wonders than M ilton ’s archangel s . On the disrupt ion of a

“ vehicle ”its inhabitant becomes instantly

incorporated into the mundane sou l ; and in this state thereis no infancy , or growth of facu l t ies, or advancement inlearn ing , as there was in the former , but a new—comer at

once becomes possessed of a l l the knowledge and designsof its ne ighbours , and immediate ly takes its share in the irOperat ion s , according to the stat ion where in i t happens to

224

ABRAHAM TUCKER

fal l . I t is impossible , declares Tucker, to imagine a moreint im ate com munion of sa ints ” than such a host of happyspirits , act ing in concert , carrying on one plan of operat ions ,th e act of all seeming the act of every one , and each havinga kind of consciousness of what is performed by th e wholecompany . But he fee ls that h is not ion m ay st il l seem strangeand rather hard of real isat ion by that e ighteenth centurym an in the street whom h e had always in h is mind ’s eye ;

so he proceeds to deve lop the idea further i n the guise of a

vision .

After fa l l ing asleep one night with h is mind full of theforegoing Specu lat ions, he thought that something suddenlybroke in h is head , whereupon h is soul separated from hisbody, and the latter, be ing whirled away by the motion ofthe earth at the rate of n ine hundred miles a minute , leftth e former stranded as a helpless infant in another world .

F or a t ime he rema ined tota l ly insensible ; then he was

roused by a sensat ion of som eth ing brushing aga inst him ,

and a lthough h e seemed to have no l im bs, or muscles , or

other organs , he determined tha t h e would try to catch holdof whatever i t was tha t cont inued to pass so n imbly by.

Immediate ly this resolve was formed he seemed to bestretching out a hundred hands i n every direct ion but , asthese were instantly bombarded by what fe lt l ike a Showerof hard ba l ls, he incont inently drew th e hands i n aga in . H e

discovered afterwards tha t these bombarding ba l ls werepass ing rays of l ight , but at the m oment h e knew not whatto make of it . However, a l itt le further cogitat ion suggestedthat , as h e h ad so readi ly managed to furnish himself withhands, h e might a lso in similar fashion provide himse lf witheyes and , sure enough , after a tria l or two , h e found himselfable to thrust ou t a pa ir of opt ics with which to reconnoitreh is surroundings . H e then behe ld a kind of sack or bag

fi l led out l ike a bladder with a ir, uniform everywhere excepttha t from one place there came ou t a hand and arm , whichwere holding him (or rather the simi lar bag in which he now

225 Q


perce ived himsel f to be enclosed) , and that from another

place protruded a longish neck , with a head on it , having a

meagre , lank -jawed face , very l ike the prints h e had seen of

John Locke .

I t looked upon m e steadfastly , with a mild and benign aspect , andth e lips moved as in speaking . This made m e quite impatient to hearwha t was sa id , but I was a s dea f as a post : however, having alreadyfound myself provided with hands enow , I did not despa ir of findingplenty of ears too , if I could but tell how to open them . My wholeattention and desire being now bent upon hearing, my eyes sunk indirectly and left m e in th e dark , bu t I heard a confused jumble ofwhispers , short , broken , and inarticulate a t first ; yet tha t did notdiscourage m e , bel ieving I should manage b etter by degrees, a s Ih ad done in th e use of my s ight . Accordingly , I could soon distinguishmy own name repea ted , which surprised m e agreeably to find I wasamong friends. How ’

s this ? ’ thinks I to myself, ‘ that the retired NedSearch

, scarce known to twenty people in the other world , should beso wel l known here that th e first person he meets a ccosts him by name !I t must certa inly be some old a cqua intance whose face I have forgotten ,departed hither before m e . Sure it can never be rea lly J ohn Lockehimself, sewn up here in a bag for h is sins, for h e died before I wasborn ? ’ After this soliloquy, reflecting that th e more haste th e lessspeed , I modera ted my impa tience , and observing my motions carefully and minutely , it was not long before I formed a complete ear ,

with drum and everything requisite for th e auditory function .

”

H e then learns that h is new acqua intance is indeed JohnLocke , who, having heard that Ned Search , for whom he hada spiritual affin ity , was come on a short vis i t to the vehicu larworld , made i t h is business t o meet h im in order to do the

honours of the place . The first necessity , of course , i s toinstruct Search in the u se of h is facu lt ies . Most of theinhabitants use a

“ sentient language , which i s carried on

by applying the ir vehicles c lose to one another and

ra i s ing certa in figures and motions on thei r outsides, whichcommun icate the l ike to the ir ne ighbour

,making the one, as

i t were, feel the other’

s thoughts but for th e short period of

h is stay Search is adv ised to be content with the O ld voca llanguage . H e fanc ies tha t h is bag must be big enoughto hold two good Winchester bushel s of corn without

226


affect ionate ly by the hand , whereupon that severe , relentless pedagogue , that hard -hearted O ld batche lor , Locke

darted out a brawny arm and mutton fist, with which hecatched up the Skin of my vehicle, as one catches up a dogby the nape of h is neck , and away we flew with incredible

swiftness. Immediate ly after this Locke has occasion to

leave him a lone for a moment , when he undergoes a veryunpleasant experience .

I felt myself on a sudden seized all over by someth ing hard , rough ,and search ing , a hundred cords seemed to r ing m e round, a thousandpoints stuck into my flesh , and I felt rough tee th grinding upon myskin . Ideas of resentment , cruelty , avarice , injustice , lewdness ,debauchery , blasphemy , terror , shame , regret , and despa ir , pouredupon my imagination , and pierced m e to the very soul . I foundmysel f tempted to al l kinds of wickedness, to sna tch the bread fromthe hungry, tear ou t th e bowe ls of children , pluck out the eyes of mydearest friends , dash ou t my own bra ins aga inst a stone , wa llow ina l l the impurit ies of a brothel , rebe l against the th rone of Heaven ,

and

worship th e Devil .”

H e struggled with all h is might aga inst these distressingthoughts , and endeavoured to cal l up every Opposite idea ,

an effort which had some effect ; but when Locke returned hewas st i l l i n a state of great uneasiness and dismay

,which

was not much a l leviated when h is mentor pointed out tohim th e cause Of the mischief.

I looked th e way h e pointed , and saw a black bottled spider , as bigas m yself

,sprawling and cuffing with h is nasty claws aga inst three or

four vehicles , who thrust out arms as long aga in a s usua l to push himaway : however , they managed him pretty easily , and drove him beforethem to some stellar rays that pointed directly down to earth . Pray,

’

says I , wha t hideous monster is that The very sight of him,though

so far off, makes m e shudder, and almost renews the pa ins I sufferedfrom him .

’

Locke expla ins that this i s one of a set of wretched

vehicles,”so encrusted with terrene concret ion s as to be

abandoned to m isery and despa ir, and that his name when

on earth was Caesar Borgia . H e appears to have come upon an unwonted vis it from the regions of darkness , and

228

ABRAHAM TUCKER

wou ld never have dared to touch Search had he not perce ivedhim to be labouring under some temporary disturbance of

mind . This was Search ’s first experience of the vehicularsentient ” language, for it appears that by applying him selfclosely on a ll Sides to the other Borgia had been able toinject into him a ll his own evi l sentiments . Locke cureshim in a similar manner .

Come ! flatten your side a l ittle , that we m ay have as large a

conta ct as possib le .

’

H e then applied himse lf close to my s ide , and

though I could discern nothing distinctly , for want of skill in th e

language , I felt such a genera l gleam of piety, sound rea son , benevolence , courage , temperance , cheerfulness, quiet and sa tisfaction , spreadover my imagination , as dissipated all my troubles, and restored m e

perfectly to myself aga in . Th ank ye ,’says I , ‘ incomparable master

I find you can assist , instruct, reprove, soothe , and everything, ju st asis proper. This is an excellent language when spoken by a goodorator .

’

Locke next takes his pupil on a visi t to Plato , who on

learning that his visitor is what Locke describes as “a

disconsolate turtle who has l ost h is mate ” gives him a characteristic discourse on the subject of love ; and when Plato hasfinished , the same subject is taken up by Socrates, who crossexamines Search much as he used to do the sophists of

ancient Athens . Plato and Locke together then conducthim to Pythagoras, who discourses to him about the sacredQuatern ion . and the holy Tetragrammaton and othermysteries of the One and of number. After this Search

expresses his anxiety to be introduced to some of the

Apostles but learning that they have all been advanced ,”

he desires to have speech with some of the famous modernsinstead . Be ing new -comers

,however, most of these were

trave l l ing about , after the fashion of young gentlemen on theearth below, to fin ish the ir educat ion .

Newton is run after the great comet that appeared in 1685 , totry the justice of h is calculations upon its trajectory. Huygens hasundertaken a longer j ourney , to measure the distance , magnitude , andbrightness of the Dog- star. Theory Burnet set out upon a visit to

229


Jupiter, as be ing an earth in its antediluvian sta te . H e wants to peepinto the great hole astronomers observe there , in hopes of see ing th egreat abyss beneath , and remarking how the earth stands in th e wa terand out of th e water . H e then goes to Sa turn , to examine whether thering be not a part of th e paradisiaca l crust not yet broken in . Whistonis engaged in a wild - goose chase among a ll the Comets , to find which ofthem will bring on th e conflagration, that h e m ay ca lculate precisely inwha t year the Millennium begins, wherein he is to be ch ief Messenger,Archbishop Metropolitan , and Primate of all th e new earth .

Search has, therefore , to be sat isfied with visit ing some

of the sma l l fry, including the famous German professorStahl , who , being of a heavy and phlegmat ic temperament ,has not yet learned the use of his vehicular legs , and whotreats u s to a long discussion of a part icu larly uninterest ingcharacter.

After having thus acqu ired a genera l knowledge of thevehicular state ,

” Search learn s that he is to be advanced

and , amidst the congratulat ions of a ll around him , h is“ vehicle ” bursts , and he i s absorbed into the mundane

sou l .

As,

upon a m an awaking in the morning out of sleep, the dreamsand visions of th e night vanish away , h is senses, which had been keptstupefied , throw open the ir windows, h is activity , tha t had la in sus

pended , returns , h e resumes th e command Of his l imbs , recovers h isidea s and understanding, and goes on with the schemes and occupationshe h ad begun the day before : so , upon my absorption , I found myself,not translated into another species of creature , but restored to myselfaga in . I h ad the perfect command of my limbs

, and their motionswere fami l iar to m e , I h ad that knowledge and judgment which is theresult of experience . My body was immense , yet I could manage itwithout trouble , my understanding extensive

, yet without confus ion or

perplexity for the materia l universe was my body , the severa l systemsmy limbs , the subtle fluids my circula ting j uices, and the face of naturemy sensory . In tha t sensory I discerned a ll science and wisdom todirect m e in th e applica tion of my powers, which were vigorous and

mighty, extending to every member and fibre of my vast composit ion .

I h ad no e xterna l object to look upon , nor externa l subj ect to act upon ;yet found an inexhaustible varie ty to employ my large thoughts , andunwearied activity within myself . I rolled the bulky plane ts in the ircourses , and held them down to the ir orbits by my strong attraction .

230


of the head , the vision ends , and anon he awakes in the

commonplace workaday world .

The foregoing i s a brief and necessari ly inadequate sum

mary of Tucker’s hypothet ical representat ion of a future l ife,which is worked out in e laborate deta i l in something over

three hundred pages of h is third volume . I t is not to be taken

as a mere play of humorous fancy. Tucker was a serious

and devout thinker, and th e intel lectua l system of th e universe

which he had worked ou t for himsel f in h is sol itary cogita

t ion s was intended to sa tisfy the mora l and re l igious i nst incts

of a candid and inquiring mind . H is method of presentmenthe expressly states to ha ve been del iberate ly adopted out of

considerat ion for an infirmity of his compatriots , who are

“ too squeamish in the ir taste and fonder of th e toothsome

than the wholesome. I t is on this account , he says, that he

has l ikened the human machine somet imes to a mill , some

t imes to a study hung round with be l ls , somet imes to a

chamber organ ; that h e has produced a chess-board to provethat the sphere of a Spiri t ’ s presence i s wide enough to con

ta in Sixty - four part icles of ma tter, computed th e corpusclesof l ight in a gra in of wax ,

introduced Ha tchet the carpenteror Mrs . Cook and her plum -pudding into the most metaphys ica l of h is discourses , and brought in a cat to assist inan optica l experiment . H e has observed that books are

usua l ly recommended , not because they are instruct ive , butbecause they are enterta in ing ; and he on ly hopes h is readers

wil l not frustrate his good intentions by doing l ike the

children when one sweetens a pi l l for them , who suck off the

sugar and spit ou t the medic ine . Many of h is com parisonsand i l lustrat ion s are far from wha t the reader wou ldexpect in a grave m etaphysico

- theologica l treat ise , and

are perhaps a ll the more effect ive on account of the irunexpectedness . F or instance , in h is chapter on the D ivinePuri ty he effectual ly disposes of th e extravagance of certa inenthusiasts who exhort u s l itera l ly to have God a lways inour thoughts , and to do every action of our l ives with

2 3 2

ABRAHAM TUCKER

conscious intent ion to please Him ,with the following qua int

observat ion

If every time we shifted , or washed our hands, or cut our corns, ordid other things I do not care to name , we were to do them with directa ttention to please him , it would b e more likely to debase and contam inate than ennoble and sanctify our minds ; to degrade him belowourselves, than ra ise u s to a nearer resemblance with him .

”

And s im i larly, in h is chapter on the D ivine Majesty, he thus

comments on an obj ectionable habit some people have of

attributing many of the l itt le trivia l and insignificant

acc idents of the ir l ives to the direct interposi t ion of Providence

A gra in of dust fall ing in a man ’s eye while fighting, m ay prove h isdestruction : a few particles of rust upon a firelock, or of damp in thep an, m aysave a life ; a wasp missing h is hold in crawling up th e sidesof a pot, m ay fa ll in , to be drank by one whom h e sha ll sting to dea th ;a young lady by a lucky assortment of her ribands

,m ay procure entrance

into a family where she shall become the mother of heroes ; yet wecannot without impiety imagine God following the single a toms ofterrene or aqueous ma tter as they float abou t in the a ir , watching h isOpportunity to trip up the feet of a crawling insect , or a ttending a giddygirl when sh e adjusts her dress at the toilet . W e know, both fromreason and authority that of two sparrows that are sold for a farthing,not one fa lleth to th e ground without our heavenly Father, and the

ha irs of our head are a ll numbered : yet wha t pious m an, if uponcombing h is head h e meets with a tangle tha t tears off two or threeha irs, or if a cat should happen to catch h is favourite sparrow ,

woulda scribe these catastrophes to the hand of Providence ? Who wouldnot be shocked at th e profaneness of one who

,upon finding only th e

ta il of a mouse in h is trap,or upon losing a flea that h e had hunted

after, should say it was the Will of God they should escape ?

Somet imes, however, h is peculiar humour prompts him tothe u se of highly eccentric comparisons and il lustrations, forwhich the sugar-coat ing of a pil l is by no means an appro

priate simi le . In h is chapter on D ivine Services, forexample, he gives a striking example of the fact that , as h ehimself confesses, many ideas had come by famil iari ty tolie easy and inoffensive in h is mind which had before appeareduncouth and disturbing, and which might st i l l appear so to

233


other people for in the course of an argument in favourof the appointment of part icular t imes and the appropriat ion

of specia l places for div ine worship , because this cannot asa rule be done with proper piety in all places i ndiscrim inate ly ,he admits that there m ay be exceptions to the ru le , and

rather start les th e reader by supplying the fol lowingextremely unconvent iona l i nstance

Suppose a m an seized with a distemper tha t will a llow nothing topass through him ; he has tried severa l remedies in va in , and givenhimself over if at last h e finds them begin to take effect, I conce ive hem ay offer a s pure and acceptable a thanksgiving from h is close -stool, ashe ever did from a hassock in h is pew .

”

After Tucker had gone as far as the una ided l ight of

nature would carry him , h is next proceeding was to comparethe discoveries so made with the doctrines of revea led

rel igion . But as h e succeeds i n mak ing the dogmas of theChurch of England harmonise with h is own system of eth ics

and natura l rel igio‘n on ly by a persona l and pecul iar inter

pretation, which often comes peri lously near to expla in ingthem away, we need not follow him throughout this operat ion .

As might qu ite natura l ly be expected from a th inker of h istemperament , h e ca lmly propounds not a few heresies of hisown . In his chapter on Redem ption , after point ing outhow many chi ldren there are in the midst of Christendomwho never arrive at an age to understand the re l igion of

the ir country , how many grown persons there are bred upin such ignorance that they can never atta in toa j ust notion

Of i t , how many there are who have rejected it— and sma l lb lame to them— because of its having been presented tothem by ignorant fanat ics in a corrupt and unacceptableform , he goes on to assert with qu iet dogmat ism that, i fChrist d ied for a ll m en, all these , having had no rea l

opportun ity of embrac ing the gracious offer ,“ must be

afforded it “e l sewhere .

”H e could not bring himsel f

to bel ieve i n the eternity of future punishment , and he ldthat doctrine not only to have no foundat ion in human

234


it were done by somebody else ; and if I had any enemies, I think I shouldnot wish to insul t and triumph over them , or if I d id take vengeanceupon them , should do it as a matter of necessity, not of gratification .

Besides, a ll this will furnish employment only for the day of judgmentwhen tha t day is ended , there will b e nothing further to do .

“ Well , but the ir enjoyment of th e beatific vision will not cease . Ican imagine there m ay be an extreme delight in the ful l and cleardisplay of the D ivine Attributes, particularly tha t of goodness : for Ihave experienced a proportionate degree of satisfaction in the contem

p lation, so far a s I have been able to comprehend them . But this isonly in my retirements, when I can bring my thoughts to a proper pitchby long and careful medita tion when I go abroad into th e world uponmy common transactions, I do not find th is idea a ttend m e in fullvigour and complexion ; and believe those who want incitements mostwill be scarce feebly touched with th e hope of see ing God as h e is.

Besides, as I have powers of action as well as of reflection, I cannotreadily conce ive tha t in a state of bliss one of them should remainuseless , nor how enj oyment can be complete which rests in speculationa lone . In short , a ll propounded to us in the common harangues onth is subject seems to b e no more than an Epicurean heaven , a monastichappiness, an undisturbed pious idleness .

B ut give m e for my incitements, a life of a ctivity and business ; aconstant succession of purposes worthy a reasonable creature ’s pursuitunwearied vigour of mind instruments obedient to command ; exem pt ion from passion , which might lead m e astray ; unsa tiating desires ofthe noble and generous kind ; clearness of judgment to secure m e

aga inst mistake or disappointment ; company of persons ready to assistm e with their l ights and their helping hand , so tha t we m ay j oin togetherwith perfect harmony in that best of services, the exercise of universa lcharity , in administering the laws of God and executing h is commands .

And if I have therewith a largeness of understanding , these occupa tionsneed not hinder bu t that , while busied in them , I m ay feast upon thecontempla tion of wha tever glorious objects sha ll b e afforded m e

,e ither

in the works of nature or the Author and Contriver of them .

Some Re ligions propound rewards a lluring enough to human sense .

A Mahometan paradise m ay suit very well with Asiatic luxury but thensuch incitements are worse than none , as be ing mischievous to pra ctice .

F or a s one is na turally inclined to inure oneself to the way of livingone expects to follow , they are better calculated to lead into the roadof destruction than of happiness. Nor are our modern enthusiasts lessblameable in flattering their mob with the privilege of insulting and

ill -using their betters : for of the two , a m an is not drawn so far a sidefrom the Spirit of piety by the thought of possessing a seraglio ofbeautiful wenches , as of having a Lord or a Bishop bound hand andfoot for him to kick and cuff about as he pleases.

”

236

ABRAHAM TUCKER

Tucker saw clearly enough a century and a ha lf ago whatis now on ly slowly percolat ing from anthropology intotheology, viz . , tha t we are a ll idolaters , and tha t m an makesGod in h is own image . H e saw ,

too,not only that the

process is inevitable , but that it m ay be beneficia l instead of

harmful , provided that we, keep our e idolon clear of all

avoidable grossness and impurity . After h is manner , h e

i l lu strates from h is own persona l experience

I can just remember when th e women first taught m e to say myprayers . I used to have th e idea of a venerable old m an, of a composed ,benign countenance , with h is own ha ir !gentlemen in those days worew igs], clad in a morning gown of a grave -coloured flowered damask ,si tting in an e lbow cha ir . I am not disturbed a t th e grossness of myinfant theology , i t being th e best I could then enterta in for I was thenmuch about as wise as Epicurus, having no conception of sense or

authority'

possib le .out of a human form . And perhaps the time willcome when , if I can look back upon my present thoughts , I m ay findth e most e levated of them a s unworthy of their Object as I now thinkthe old m an in the elbow chair.

”

Even in our day we somet imes hear people talk as thoughthey imagined not only the whole round world and a ll thattherei n i s, but even the whole universe , to have been made

for m an. Tucker points out the enormous wastefulness and

extravagance implied in any such suppos it ion,and argues

that Providence has evidently much else to take care of inaddit ion to ourselves .

“ Man has no further concern with this earth than a few fathomunder h is feet : was then the whole solid globe beneath made only fora foundation to support th e slender shell h e treads upon ? Do themagnetic effluvia course incessantly over land and sea , only to turnhere and there a mariner ’s compass ? Are those immense bodies thefixed stars hung up for nothing but to twinkle in our eyes by night , orfind employment for a few astronomers ? I s tha t prodigious effusionof light darted every way throughout th e expanse of heaven for noother purpose than to enlighten and cherish two or three l ittle planetsDoes th e vast profundity of space conta in no more inhabitants than we seecrawling about us , or m ay conjecture abiding on other earths like oursSurely h e must have an overweening conceit of man ’s importance , whocan imagine this stupendous frame of th e Universe fabrica ted for hima lone : and he must be too partia l an admirer of visible nature , or

237


enterta in too mean an opinion of infinite wisdom , tha t can persuadehimself things could not have been contrived better for th e accom m o

dation and happiness of m an, had tha t been the sole object of D ivineattention .

”

Man i s in the habit of thinking that , at any rate , a ll the

l iving creatures he sees around him were made for his Specia l

u se and benefit ; but , says our humorou s philosopher, itmight as wel l be sa id that he was made for the special u se

and benefi t of other creatures . Not only does he employhis reason and h is care to provide for such anima ls as are

obviously subservient to his uses— the sheep and oxen for

which he finds pasture , th e horse which rece ives provender

and tendance at h is hands, the mast iff and the span ie l which

earn the ir wages in h is service— but predatory birds eat the

gra in he sows, predatory mice share i n the provisions for h is

table, the parasitic flea and gnat rega le on his blood , theharvest -bug burrows in his flesh , and h is carcase breeds and

nourishes the worm and the maggot . H e is a lso in the

habit of thinking that h is Godl ike inte l lect is capable of

solving the riddle of the un iverse , yet h is concept ion of itm ay be as imperfect as is enterta ined by the meanest ofthese . Tucker occasiona l ly amused himse l f in a vacanthour, h e te l ls u s, with imagin ing what ideas the brutecreat ion wou ld enterta in of our transact ions supposing themto be endowed with understanding and reflection s imilarto ours . AS they have l i tt le intercourse with us and nomeans of acqu iring in format ion from our Speech or wri t ings

,

i t appears tha t they cou ld have no conception of our pol it ics,commerce , mechanics, mathema t ics , rhetoric, fashion , and

other methods of employing our t ime , and would consequent lyfind our proceedings for th e most part qu ite unaccountable .

A live ly story is then introduced to Show by implicat ionthat a l ike incapac ity hampers m an in h is cosmica lspeculat ions

I have heard a story of some very valuable jewel or piece of pla tein a house having been lost in such a manner as to make it certa in some

23 8


to m en ca l l ing themselves the lords of creat ion , at any rate

whenever the phrase seem ed to imply that the lords lookeddown with contem pt upon a ll inferior an ima ls and would

th ink it a disparagement of the ir own dign ity to suppose

tha t the others might ever be ra ised to the ir leve l . I t was

both orthodox and fashionable , he admitted (and i t is so

st il l) , to bel ieve tha t death means annihi lation to th e brutes,and that they were created sole ly for man

’

s uses , or m isuses,without the least regard to any benefit or pleasure the ir

existence might produce to themse lves . But when anybodytold h im it was ridiculous and inconce ivable that such an

abj ect condit ion cou ld be the pre lude to a more exa ltedstate , he would ask whether the condition of some of us ,

who so confidently expect to become angels , i s not almostas abj ect , whether a human infant when it l ies sleeping ,squa l l ing , or spewing in its cradle has much more sense and

inte l l igence than a puppy , and whether many thousandsof ou r species do not pass ou t of this world without everatta in ing a much greater degree of intel lectua l or Spiri tua ldign ity . In the chapter headed D iv ine Economy, in thes ixth volume of h is treat ise , there is a passage on th issubj ect , which is so interest ing in itse lf and so characteri st icof the writer that , notwithstanding its length , i t must betranscri bed verbat im

Upon occasion of the divine care extending to the smallest things ,I shall venture to pu t in a word on beha lf of our younger brethren of thebrute species : yet i t is with fear and trepidation , lest I should offendthe del icacy of our imperia l race ,who m ay think it treason aga inst the irhigh pre -eminence and dignity to ra ise a doubt of the ir engrossing th issole care of H eaven . I shall not a llege that Na ture has provided theanimals with a ccommodations for breeding, for harbouring , for feedingbecause i t will be sa id these were given for our sakes , to fit them forour services . But let it be considered tha t by these very services theybecome remote ly instrumenta l to our salva tion : for how could theD ivine or the Philosopher perform the part a llotted him in carrying ontha t grea t work , without th e sustenance , the clothing , the other conveniences , h e draws from th e irrationa l tribes ? or at least if h e could ,i t is a fact that h e does not , and therefore something is owing to them

240

ABRAHAM TUCKER

for the help they give him in h is principal concern . Besides , it h asbeen Shown in the foregoing pages tha t the plan of Providence for perfecting human nature does not stand confined to the opera tions ofReligion and Philosophy, for the polity of na tions, the characters and

transactions of the people , have the ir share in the work and the commerce , manufactures, and employments influencing these things , derivemany of their materials and receive much of the ir assistance from the

inferior creatures .

“ Then for the orthodox , with whom I am l ikely to have somewha tmore difficulty upon this subject than with the rea soner, I beg them toconsider tha t many lambs, goa ts, and doves , have by express commandof God been slaughtered for a tonements and sacrifices , and made sub

servient to the uses of Re ligion . Since then , as we ll by h is specia linjunction as by h is ordinary providence , h e ca lls upon the creaturesfor the ir labours, their sufferings, and the ir lives , in the progress of h isgrea t work of the Redemption , why should we think it an impeachmentof h is Equity if h e assigns them wages for a ll they undergo in th isimportant s ervice or an impeachment of h is Power and of h isWisdomif such wages a ccrue to them by certa in stated laws of universal Naturerunning through both Worlds

“ In wha t manner th e compensation is operated would be needlessand impossible .

to ascerta in perhaps they stand only one stage belowu s in th e j ourney through matter, and a s we hope to rise from sensitivorationa l creatures to purely ra tional , so they m ay be advanced tosens itivo - rational . And when our nature is perfected , we m ay be

employed to act as guardian angels for a ssisting them in the improvement of their ns faculties, becoming lords and not tyrants of our newworld , and exercis ng government by employing our superior skill andpower for the benefit of the governed : by which way m ay be comprehended how they m ay have an interest of the ir own in everythingrelative to the forwarding our Redemption . Yet it is not necessarythey must have bodies shaped , limbed , and s ized , exactly like ours for

th e treasures of wisdom are not so scanty as tha t we should pronouncewith Epicurus , there can b e no spice of reason or reflection except ina human figure , and upon the surface of an Earth circumstanced justlike this we inhabit .No doubt it will appear a wild and absurd imagina tion to fancy that

a dog can ever be made to think and reason like a m an, and so indeedit m ay be while you take your idea of th e creature from h is ha iry hide ,h is long ta il , h is lolling tongue , and gross organs of sense ; bu t it is asabsurd to suppose you can ever teach a sucking child th e mathema tics

,

yet th e child m ay grow to be a m an,and then become capable of the

sciences . Nor is it easy to conce ive how a m an, while consisting of anunwie ldy body , with a variety of discordant humours circula ting therein ,can become purely rational , perfectly happy, secure from all dangers

,

241 R


proof aga inst all tempta tions yet we hope that m an sha ll one day r iseto th e condi tion of an Ange l . then by Man must not be understood h iswhole composition , but some interna l part , which when disj oined fromth e rest , will still continue to be him and how know we wha t interna lpart m ay belong to other animals, capable of higher faculties than theynow can exercise ? When th e caterpill ar changes into a butterfly , weeasily apprehend it to b e the same creature , with larger powers than ith ad before , and if we knew th e worm h ad passed its t ime in uneasiness ,but th e fly in a greater degree of pleasure , we should acknowledge theenj oyments of th e one a compensa tion for th e troubles of the other, bothbe ing numerically th e same .

B ut when the butterfly dies, we see no Chrysalis left behind , yet weare not to think everything absolutely lost that i s gone beyond the reachof our senses : there m ay still rema in an imperceptib le Chrysa lis , fromwhence will issue another fly with powers superior to th e former ; andwhile th e same perceptive individual passes through all these changes,it will continue the same creature , notwithstanding ever so many a lterat ions in the externa l form and sub stance . I f you grant but tha t a dogfeels m e when I pinch him by the ta il, this is enough to prove that h ehas a personal ity , and tha t wha t feels th e p inch is an individua l ; forperceptivity cannot belong to a compound, any otherwise than a s the

other component parts m ay serve for channe ls of conveyance to someone which rece ives th e conveyance entire ; and in wha tever differentcompounds this individua l resides, they are success ively th e samepercipient. Nor is the case otherwise with ourselves : for, as has

been a lready observed in the chapter on the Trinity , persona lity andidentity belong properly to Spirit ; Matter has none of its own , butassumes a borrowed personal ity from the particular Spirit whereto ithappens to stand united .

We a ll apprehend ourselves continuing the same persons from the

cradle to the grave , notwithstanding that many believe al l th e corporea lparticles belonging to us change every seven years ; because th e samepercipient abiding with us throughout makes every fresh set of thembecome a part of ourselves for the t ime

,while adhering to u s

,and

serving for our uses. And th e persona l identity currently believed tocontinue through life in the brutes , rests upon th e same bottom withour own : every child who reads the fable of the Old Lion buffetedabout by the beasts in revenge for the tyrannies h e had exercisedover them in h is youth , a cknowledges he deserved th e punishment .But punishment is not ordinarily esteemed just unless infl icted uponthe very party offending ; therefore th e whe lp , the young, and th e

decrepit Lion is conce ived all a long the same identica l crea ture : but

this identity must depend upon the feeling part , for the corporea lcomposition m ay be supposed to fluctuate and change as ours does .

“ We have no knowledge of other percipients unless by means of242


The attempt to give , within a sma l l compass and bypract icable quotat ion , any adequate idea of Tucker’s method

and style is scarce ly more sat isfactory than bringing a bucket

of water to represent the ocean , or than producing a few

sprigs of fern by way of enabling a Londoner to appreciatethe scenery of the New Forest . In fact , Tucker

’

s treat isemight wel l be l ikened to an extensive metaphysica l forest ,traversed , indeed , by certa in high - roads , a long which th e

a uthor knows h is way we l l enough , but which he se ldomkeeps to for any length of t ime , having a strong propensity

for conduct ing his reader into a l luring by-paths on the one

side or the other, and not infrequently bringing him roundto see some favourite prospect aga in and aga in from a

different point of view . At the same t ime , j ust as in a wa lkin the forest , i t is these interest ing , and somet imes on ly

apparently irrelevant , digressions which are most instructive,

while they undoubtedly const itute no inconsiderable partboth of the forest ’s and of the author’s charm . Although

occasiona l ly attracted by highly imaginat ive , and what tomany m ay seem even extreme ly fantast ica l , specu lat ions, henever loses h is grip on the rea l it ies of l i fe ; and notwithstand

ing ou r excursions i nto various hypothet ica l states of be ing,we are a lways brought back to this world

,

Which is the world of al l of us , and whereWe find our happiness, or not at all .”

H e is essentia l ly a mora l ist , and discourses eloquently inpra ise of honour, rect itude , prudence , fort itude, temperance ,j ust ice , and benevolence ; and yet , without subscribinga ltogether to Mandeville

’

s doctrine that private vices are

publ ic benefits , h e sees that , in such a world as the present ,it is certa inly sometimes high ly convenient tha t many personsare possessed of qua l it ies the reverse of virtuous . I t isundeniable , he says, that much good springs from evil

, and

that “ vices serve l ike rotten dung to force up those exot icplants the virtues in us.

”

244

ABRAHAM TUCKER

How should we m an our fleets or recruit our armies, if there wereno such thing as idleness, extravagance , and debauchery in th e kingdom ?I believe few

,even among th e poorest , ever breed up the ir children to

those services, so tha t if none were to be taken into them who did notenter out of prudence or de libera te choice , I fear the little state ofGenoa might be able to overrun us . The parents wish the ir lads toget a safe and honest livel ihood upon th e land by their labour, or tolearn some manual trade for a subs istence but when a young fe llow isgood for nothing e lse , or becomes involved in debt , or hampered insome dangerous amour, then away h e goes to make food for powder ,or a sop in the briny broth of Ocean . And when commenced warr ior,he becomes serviceable more by h is imperfections than by h is goodqualities : the watchings and fastings, the wants , distresses, bangs and

bruises h e h a s brought upon himself by h is irregularities , inure him toa hardiness tha t nothing can hurt ; h is averseness to forethought , andthe habit of singing Hang sorrow,

cast away care ,’

render him intrepidbecause blind to danger, insensibil ity proving a succedaneum in th e placeof fortitude ; tha t hardest of virtues to be acquired by contemplationand reasoning, the last learned by the D ivine or the Philosopher.

A sensible m an who wants shoes , he declares, will resortto a clever workman , whatever his mora ls m ay be , rather

than to one who , though scrupu lously honest and deeply

devout , is a bungler at h is trade ; and were a ll our art isans tobarter their knowledge and dexterity for a proport ionate degreeof virtue, the world would suffer greatly by the exchange .

We speculative people are apt to persuade ourselves it would bea happy world if a ll m en were good , and I must own myself still in tha tpersuasion , provided you a llow us our own definition of good m en : tha ti s , such in whom reason is so absolute , and the spirit of rectitude so

strong , as to overpower a ll indolence , appetite , terror, and pa in , withthe same ease as a violent fit of revenge , or love , or jea lousy , or ambition , or covetousness can do ; which will enable m en to bear any toilsor hurts in the prosecution of the ir purpose , without feeling them . B ut

if we must be fetched down from our visionary ideas , and confinedto such good m en as can be found upon the earth , I much questionwhether matters would be mended if a ll others could be brought toresemble them .

“ F or Providence h as so ordered the courses of sublunary affa irs,that wickedness , impulse , and folly are made instrumenta l to wise and

gracious purposes , and one vice is employed to correct the poisonousqua lities , and prevent th e mischievous effects , of another, so that nonecan be spared unless all are cured ; which we must not expect to see

245


done before the coming of the Kingdom of the just , wherein , to Speakin Scripture language , we hope to be born aga in , and become new

creatures .

”

According to Tucker’s phi losophy, the grat ificat ion of our

own desires is the proper business of l ife ; and selfishnessconsists, not in having a regard for oneself, but in having noregard for anybody e lse ; and yet

“ l i fe seems to be given ,not for the benefi t of the individua l , but for some servicedone there in to the whole ,

”for “

we were ne ither born norta lented for ourse lves a lone : we are cit izens of the universe .

”

We all benefit to some extent by whatever any one of us

does to increase the genera l stock of happiness . Though our

persons be Single and ou r efforts sma l l, nobody can say what

mu lt itudes they m ay not affect for good or for evil . A l itt le

negligence in placing a candle m ay produce a fi re that shal lburn down a whole town ; and a lthough Noah bu i l t his ark

to save only a sma l l family of e ight persons ,“ i n so doing he

saved all th e generat ions of m en that have since overspreadthe earth . By doing good to another a m an does good tohimsel f ; by hurt ing another h e hurts h imse lf ; and not on lyso , but by doing good to a number of others a m an earnsmore good for himse lf than he could possibly do by

working for his own interest a lone . Tucker enforces th isdoctrine by a qua int a llegory of what he cal l s the “ Bankof Heaven

Since th e allegory of books has been employed by the best authorities , we m ay consider the provisions of Heaven as an universal bank ,where in accounts are ,

regularly kept , and every m an debited or creditedfor the least farthing h e takes out or brings in . All the good we procuret o another , the labour and self-denia l we go through prudently , andevil we suffer unavoidably , are written down as articles in our favour ;al l the evil we do , the fond indu lgences we gi vs in to, or good we receive,entered per contra a s so much drawn out of our cash . Perhaps something m ay be taken out for th e public services , but then we have thebenefit of this in the public conveniences and protection whereof wepartake ; but the rema inder lies placed to each private account foranswering our ca lls or supplying our occasions .

And this is a better bank than tha t of England to keep our current

246


m ay b e m ortified to find oneself so inconsiderable in point of riches,compared with him .

But in the accounts of Providence , a like di scovery would prove nosuch m ortification : for, we dealing all in partnership , th e profits whereofare to be made equa l to ea ch in some shape or other in some part ofour period, whatever virtues , ta lents, or successes we see elsewhere ,adding more largely to the common stock than we can do ourselves ,must become ma tter of rej oicing ra ther than vexation. Because therule of equal ity insures to us tha t we shall e ither immediately partakeof the fruits gathered therefrom , or at some future time be insta ted ina branch of trade we see to be more profitable than tha t now under ourmanagement .”

There is a great dea l more in Tucker ’s seven volumes ,both in the way of acute thinking and humorous i l lustrat ion ,which the reader who likes these samples m ay be left to findou t for himse lf, i f perchance he can l ight upon a copy of

the work . Some of the chapters on subsidiary subj ects

on habit , on custom and fashion , on vanity, on educat ion— are admirable for sound common sense , original v iews ,and effect ive handling ; and throughout the treat ise we are

occasiona l ly interested and surprised by an a lmost pro

phetic anticipat ion of modern ideas. Tucker’ s mind seemsto have been of that kind which

, a lthough it makes nodiscoveries in science and creates no era in Speculat ion ,is yet so const ituted as to have foregleams of the roada long which future scientific and philosophica l thought wi ll

travel . H e provided Pa ley with a scheme of natural theologyand mora l philosophy , on which severa l generat ions of our

youths have been nourished . H e ant icipated a good dea l ofthe ut i l i tarian doctrine which we associate with the namesof Mill and Bentham ; and i f he did not qu ite invent thefamous formula of the Util itarian school

,he at any rate came

very near i t in h is persistent advocacy of an endeavour after“ that genera l happiness where in we Shal l a lways find ou r

own conta ined . H e was the first to draw attention to thosecurious menta l phenomena which have since been namedunconscious cerebra t ion and he expressly advocated thatvery recent deve lopment of psychology

, the scient ific study

248

ABRAHAM TUCKER

of the child -mind . A centu ry before Pasteur he held thebe l ief that all our diseases m ay proceed from

“an im

'

per~

ceptible vermin swarming within u s,”and some of h is ideas

about the const itution and divisibil ity ofmatterbear a curiousresemblance to what we have been hearing late ly aboute lectrons and radio-activity. I t would be too much to assertthat he h ad an ant icipat ion of Darwin ’s doctrine of theorigin of species, though h e did say that perhaps natureorigipally made us to go on all fours, and that we have our

selves laboriously acquired the erect posture ; and when h edeclares tha t the common worm , perhaps, assists the ploughm an to fruct ify the earth by turn ing it continua l ly, so

that we m ay be beholden to him in part for ou r da i ly breadand owe him more thanks than anger for defiling th e turf inou r gardens,

”he most dist inctly anticipates th e interest ing

theory of the act ion of earth-worms to which Darwin devoteda volume a century or more afterwards . We m ay imaginewith what del ight the author of the hypothesis of the“ vehicular state ” wou ld have learned , as we have learnedrecently on th e highest scient ific authori ty

,that when th e

atoms of oxygen unite with the atoms of hydrogen they rushinto one another’s embraces as if they were animated beings ,which

,indeed , Haeckel declares they are ; and what play

he wou ld have made with Herbert Spencer’

s physiologica lunits

,

” with We ismann ’s “biphors , and “ ids, and “ idents ,

”

and the whole theory of the germ -plasm ,or with the modern

scientific statement that fifty mi ll ion atoms of average Sizei f la id end to end

, would measure only about one inch inlength , while , according to S ir Oliver Lodge, an e lectron ”

cou ld roam about in one of these inconce ivably minute atomsl ike a mouse in a cathedra l .

But it i s as a pract ica l mora l ist and a metaphysica lhumourist that Tucker most conspicuously shines. With noil lusions about human nature, knowing most m en to be so

unreasonable that they expect to buy understanding and

sent iments, as they do clothes, ready-made at a shop,

and

249


finding plenty of voluptuaries in devotion as wel l as in eat ing ,who , as he Sl ily observes, would find a Sip of Davy’s e l ixir, i n

th e morning rising , a powerful means of grace , h is temper is

yet so tru ly equitable that he wou ld not on ly do as h e wou ldbe done by

,but think as h e wou ld be thought by . And

throughout the whole of h is work h e shows himsel f to be a

friend and hearty we l l -wisher to all , whose ma in obj ect is thei nculcat ion of universa l Chari ty and unreserved benevolence .

I t is impossible to read through “ The Light of N ature Pur

sued ” without conce iving a hearty admirat ion for th e

honest , candid , simple, rel igious , yet shrewd and humorouscharacter of its author ; and any reader who has accom

p l ished that rather long-drawn -out but nevertheless de l ightful task will probably echo H azlitt

’

s remark that he hadnever come across anything in the shape of a ~m etaphysical

treat ise which conta ined so much good sense so agreeablyexpressed .

250

INDE !

tricks , 153 ; visit to Newfoundland , 154 ; apprenticed to rat

ca tcher, 154 ; e lected king ofthe gipsies, 1 5 5 ; a runawaymarr iage , 156 ; reverses and

imprisonment , 1 57- 158 ; trans

portation to Mary land , 158

escape , 1 59 ; travels in America ,

160 - 16 1 return to England,16 1

effective di sguises , 162 - 163 ; as

an old woman , 164 ; outwittedby Lord Weymouth , 166 - 167 ;made money by lotteries and

retired from business , 168 ;summary of chara cter , 168- 170Carew , Rev . Theodore , 1 50Caroline, Queen (consort ofGeorge 22

Catherine , Empress of Russia , 3 6,

Chabot , Lady Mary , 36 , 44Chandos , Duke of, 5 8Chardin , S ir John , 175Charlotte , Queen (consort ofGeorge 57Cha telet , Madame de

, 49Choiseu l, Duc de , 52Chrysostom , S t. , 197C live , Lord , 5 7 , 65Coke , Edward , Viscount , 3 , 9 , 10 ,

Coke , Lady Mary , parentage and

chi ldhood , 4- 8 ; Lord Coke ’

s

proposa l , 9 ; marr iage , 10 ; illusage , 10 - 14 ; separa tion and

husband ’s death , 15 ; engagement ” to Lord March , 1 5

- 17 ;Horace Wa lpole ’

s admira tion ,17

- 18 h er sisters , 2 1 - 22 ; in th eCourt circle , 2 2 - 2 3 , 34 relationswith Duke of York , 44—47 ; proposal from Lord B essborough ,

4 7-

48 ; visit to Volta ire , 50 firstvis it to Maria Theresa at Vienna ,

5 1 second visit to V ienna , 5 7 ;quarre l with M aria Theresa , 6 1ine ffectua l visit to Frederickthe Great , 64 - 65 ; I ta ly and

quarrel with Hora ce Mann , 6 567 ; cooling of friendship withHorace Walpole , 67

- 69 her

j ournal, 69-

70 ; h er various

residences , 70 quarrel withPrincess Amel ia , 71 -

72 ; eccen

tricities of dress and manner,72

-

74 ; dea th , 75 ; summary ofcharacter, 76 ; H . Wa lpole ’sletters to her, 19, 23 , 2 5 - 26 , 2730, 3 2

-

3 3 : 35-

37 , 37-

39 :

4 1-

42 , 434 4. 49- 50 , SO

'

SI a

5 1-

53 , 54—5 5 . 56

- 57 . 58-

59. 5960 , 6 1- 63 H . Wa lpole ’s versesto her , 19 , 3 1 -

32 , 43Coleman

,Thomas , 1 5 1 , 152 , 158

Coleridge , Samuel Taylor, 195Colman , George , 82Cowper, Lady , 192 , 193Cowper, Lord , 192Crabbe , George , 79 , 195Creevey , Thomas , 183 , 184Crofts

,Capta in

,83 , 84 , 8 5 , 86 , 87

Croker , J ohn Wilson , 190Cumberland , H .R .H . Duke of, 38 ,47

Cumberland, Richard , 53 , 82Curran , J ohn Philpott , 177

DALKEITH , Lady (afterwardsBaroness Greenwich) , 9 , 2 1 , 43 ,

Da lkei th , Lord , 2 1Darwin , Charles, 249Dauphin , The, 36 , 3 8 , 39 , 40Davies

,W. H . the super

tramp 169Davy , S ir Humphry , 177 , 189Deffand

,Madame du , 5 5

Defoe , Daniel , 2 1 1Delany , Mrs . , 14 , 64 , 65Dorset , Duke of, 3 8Douglas , Lady , 75Drummond -Moray, Mr. , 19 , 59Dryden

,J ohn , 206

Dudley , H . , see Bate -Dudley, S irHenry , Bart .Dudley , Lord , 18 1Duncombe , Tom , 180

ELDON , Lord , 128 , 177Epicuru s

, 22 1

Erskine , Lord , 186Escott , J ohn , 1 5 1 , 153 , 158Esterhazy

,Princess, 63

Estrees, Marsha l d’

, 32

252

INDE !

FAI RFAx , Genera l , 175Fielding, Henry , 2 1 1Fife , Lady, 3 8 , 42F ife , Lord , 3 8 , 42Fitzgera ld , Robert (

“fightingFitzgera ld 85 , 86 , 87 , 88

Fitzherbert , Mrs . , 74Foot , Dr. Jesse , 107 , 108 , 1 1 1 , 1 13 ,

Fox, Charles James, 176 , 198

Fox , Henry (afterwards LordHolland) , 175 , 176Francis , S ir Phili p , 176, 177Franklin , Benjamin , 160Frederick th e Great , 2 3 , 64 , 65

GAINSBOROUGH , Thomas , 103Garrick, David , 52 , 53 , 82 , 93Geoffrin, Madame d e , 36 , 39George H . , 2 2 , 26 , 37George I I I . , 26 , 2 7, 28 , 44 , 57Germa in , Lady Betty, 49G ifford

,Wil liam , 19 1

G loucester , H .R .H . Duke of,65 , 68

Goadby , Robert , 149 , 170Goderich , Lord , 190Goldsmith , O liver , 79 , 2 1 1Goodere , Capta in , 16 1Gower , Lady , 9Gower, Lord , 75Granby, Marquis of, 32Grantham

,Lord , 53

Gray, George , 1 12 , 1 14 , 1 15 , 1 17,120 , 12 1 14 1

Gray, Thomas , 2 1 1Grenville , George , 40 , 52Greville, C . C . F . , 178 , 179 , 180 ,

186 9 19 1 , 195 7 196 : I 97 : I 99Grey, Earl , 192 JE F F REY , Francis, 177 , 189Gu isnes, Monsieur de , 52 Jekyll , J oseph , 184 , 185 , 190, 19 1

Jersey, Lady , 184HAECKEL, Ernst, 249 J ohnson , Samuel , 2 1 1Hamilton , Duchess of, 46, 72 J ordan , Mrs . , 103H amilton , Lady , 74 Joseph , Emperor of Germany, 5 1 ,Harrington , Lady , 72 54 , 5 5 , 6 1

Harris , Mrs . , 50

H artley,David , 2 1 1 , 2 13 KEMB LE ,

Fanny, 185 , 186Ha rtley , Elizabeth , 82 , 83 , 87 , 94 , Klopstock , Frederick Gottli eb ,

Hayward , Abraham , 177, 183 , 189 Knox, Rev . Alexander, 80

5153

Hazlitt , William , 2 12 , 2 50

H ertford , Lady, 3 3H ertford , Lord , 3 2 , 34, 64Hervey, Lady , 1 1Hobart , Lord (afterwards LordAuck land), 190Holderness , Lady , 7 1Holkham Hall , 3 , 10 , 12 , 13 , 14Holland , Eli zabeth , Lady, parentage , 173 ; marriage to Sir

Godfrey Webster , 174 ; divorceand marriage to Lord Holland ,174 ; Hol land House , 174

- 177 ;management as hostess , 178

179 ; h er despotism , 179- 182 ;

revolts aga inst h er, 182 - 183some unplea sant impressions ,184

—185 ; Sydney Smith’

s testimony, 186 - 187 ; politica l am

bitions , 190- 19 1 ; th e ta lk at

Hol land House , 192- 197 ; sum

mary of character , 198 - 199Ho l land, second Earl of, 175Holland , H enry Richard , Lord ,173 , 174 , 176 , 178 , 179 , 180 , 185 ,186 , 187 , 190 , 19 1 , 192 , 194 , 195 ,

Holland , Sir Henry , Bart . , 178 ,

Holland Hou se , 174 - 177, 196

Home , Hon . J ames Archibald, 20 ,69Home , Lord , 69Horner , Francis , 188Hull , Thomas , 83 , 95Humboldts, The , 177Hume ,

David , 2 1 1Hunter , Dr . J ohn , 107, 128Huntingdon , Lord, 53

INDE !

LAMBERT, Genera l, 175Lavoisier, Antoine Laurent , 56Leeuwenhoeck, Anthony Van, 23 1Leicester, Countess of, 9Le icester, Thomas Coke , Earl of,3 , 9 , 13 , 15Liechtenstein , Princess, 175 , 176 ,I 79 , 190

Ligonier , Lord , 2 3 , 24Lilford , Lady , 199Locke , J ohn , 206 , 2 13 , 226 , 227 ,

Lodge , S ir O liver , 249Lonsda le , Lady , 74Luttrell , Henry , 177 , 180, 184 , 199Lye ll , S ir Charles, 18 1Lyndhurst, Lord , 177Lyttelton , Lord (

“ the bad lord1 10

Lyttelton , Lord the

lord 109

good

MACAULAY , Lord , 177, 18 1, 182 ,193 , 194 , 196 3 197r l 99Macdona ld , S i r James , 193Mackenzie, Lady Betty, 9 , 13 , 17,

Mackenzie, James Stuart , 13 , 22 ,

3 3Mackintosh , S ir James, 174 , 176,

Mandevil le , Bernard , 244Mann , S ir Horace , 65 , 67March , Lord (afterwards old

1 5 , I 6 , 17, 44Mari a Theresa , Empress of Ger

many, 50 , 5 1» 54» 5 5 » 57» 60, 6 1 ,

Marie Antoinette, Queen ofFrance , 52 , 68Markham , Rev . Samuel , 130Martin , J ohn , 15 1 , 152 , 15 8Melbourne , Lord , 180 , 182 , 192 ,193 . 19 5 . 197

,

Metternlch , Prince , 177Mill

,J ohn Stuart , 248

Milman , Dean , 195Minto , Lord , 192Mirepoix , Madame de , 3 5 , 39Montagu, Mrs . Elizabeth , 108 , 109Monta igne, Michel, Seigneur de ,204

Moore, Thomas, 177, 178 , 179 , 180,

More , S ir Thomas, 196 , 197Munro, S ir Thomas, 197Murray, Lord Advoca te , 192Mustapha I I I . , Sultan of Turkey,52

NEWTON , Sir Isaa c, 229Newton , Rev . John , 79Norfolk , Duchess of, 45North , Lord , 52 , 89 , 195

O S SORY , Countess of, 25 , 128Ossory , Lord , 36

PALEY, W i lliam , 79 , 203 , 2 10 , 2 19 ,248

Palmerston , Lord , 19 1 , 195 , 198Parr, Rev . Dr . Samuel, 79 , 176,I 77Pasteur, Louis , 249Pelham , Miss Frances, 47Penn , William , 16 1 , 175Pigot , Lord , 57Pitt, Lady Anne , 22Pitt, William (Lord Chatham), 19 ,

Planta , Eliza , 1 14 , 1 15 , 1 16 , 1 17Plato , 2 16 , 223 , 229Pleydel l , Mr. , 163 , 164Poniatowski, Prince , 5 8 , 59Pope , Alexander, 6 , 2 1 1Porchester, Lord , 182Portman , Squire , 162Price , Thomas , 167, 168Pythagoras , 229

QUE E N SBERRY,Catherine , Duchessof, 16

REDD ING , Cyrus, 187Re id , Thomas, 2 1 1Reynett, Mrs , 124 , 12 5 , 126, 127Reynett, Rev . Mr . , 124 , 127Rice , Thomas Spring (afterwardsLord Monteagle), 195Rich , S ir Henry (a fterwards firstEarl of Holland), 175Richardson , Joseph , 9 1R ichardson , Samue l , 2 1 1R ichmond , Duchess of, 38 , 40

254

INDE !

m an made for animals, 2 38 ;anima l immortality, 240 - 243 th e

use of vice in the world , 244245 ; a llegory of “ the Bank ofH eaven ,” 246 - 248 anticipationsof modern ideas, 248 - 249Tucker

,Judith, 206

VALL IERE , Madame de la , 3 8 , 39Van Dyck , S ir Anthony , 175Volta ire , 49 , 50 , 53

WALES , Prince of (afterwardsGeorge 74 , 102Wa les , Princess Dowager of , 4 1 ,58

Wa lpole , Horace , 4 , 9 , I o, 1 1 , 12 ,

14 . 15 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20. 23 . 24 . 25 .27. 30 , 3 1. 32 , 34 , 3 5 . 37. 39 . 40.

4 1. 42 . 4 3 . 46. 47. 49 . so. 5 1 . 5 3 .

54 , 5 5 : 5 6: 57 1 59 : 6 1: 64 : 6si 66 :67. 68 . 69 . 70. 7 1. 75 . 76. 12 8 ;Wa lpole ’s letters to Lady Mary YARMOUTH , Lady , 22 , 2 3 , 37Coke , 19 , 2 3 , 2 5

- 26 , 2 7-

30, 30 York , H .R .H . Duke of, 18 ,3 1. 32

-

33 . 3 5 - 37. 37-

39 . 39-

40 . 46 . 47 . 6s

B RADBURY, AGNEW CO. LO . , PRINTERS , LONDON AND TONBRI DGE .

49' 50 a 50

‘

5 I a

54 - 63 ;h l S verses to Lady Mary Coke ,

Warburton , J ane , see Argyll ,Jane , Duchess of .Washington , George , 179Wa tts-D untOn, Theodore , 169Webster , S ir Godfrey , 173 , 174We ismann , August , 249Weyer , M . Van de , 177 , 182 , 183Weymouth , Thomas Thynne ,Viscount , 166, 167Wha tely , Archbishop , 203Whiston, J oseph , 2 30White , Rev . G ilbert , 79Whitefield , George , 160 , 209Wilkes, J ohn , 52Wilkie , S ir David , 196W illiam I I I . , 75 , 175Wordsworth , William,

195

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