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Copyright © 2009 Sedona Training Associates. All rights reserved.

60 Torti lla Drive, Sedona, AZ 86336 � 888.282.5656 � www.sedona.com

by Hale Dwoskin

A Special Report on

“Avoid the 5 Most Common Relati onship Myths that keep

98% of People Mired in Loneliness or Bad Relati onships,

and Join the Ranks of the 2% who Manifest the Love of their Life”



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About the author,

Hale DwoskinHale Dwoskin is the New York Times

best-selling author of The Sedona

Method, and co-author of the best-

selling Happiness Is Free: And It’s

Easier than You Think. Hale is one

of the original 24 teachers from the

blockbuster book and movie, The

Secret and a founding member of the

Transformati onal Leadership Council.

He is the CEO and Director of Training

at Sedona Training Associates, based in

Sedona, Arizona.

For more than three decades, Hale

has taught The Sedona Method to

hundreds of thousands of people

worldwide, transforming their lives

dramati cally in the process. This amazingly simple, yet elegant method

enables you to let go of any unwanted feeling or emoti on right in the

moment. The Sedona Method is the “vaccine for emoti onal turmoil” that

returns you to the power of your True Presence.

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Dear Reader,

Here’s an interesti ng stati sti c that got my att enti on. A survey of 2000

married couples by the Briti sh fi rm Seddons found that the majority of the

couples surveyed were dissati sfi ed and only stayed together for practi cal

reasons. The survey found that:

• 59% of the married women would leave if they could fi nd

fi nancial security elsewhere

• 51% of the men thought their marriages were ‘loveless’

Stati sti cs like these can seem very discouraging whether you’re in a relati onship

or not! What this said to me was not simply about marriage, but about

relati onships in general. And that is, people largely do not know how to get

their needs met in relati onships, or how to take the appropriate acti ons to

ensure their own and others’ happiness.

So what do people who have loving, fulfi lling relati onships know that the rest

of the populati on doesn’t?

Let’s explore some of the more common relati onship myths together to

discover the answer to that questi on….

“If he/she would just change, this relati onship

could work.”

Of all the relati onship myths out there—and there are many!—this

is the one in which people seem to get stuck the most. A majority

of the people I speak to on a regular basis are convinced that the

success or failure of a relati onship lies at least parti ally—and

oft enti mes solely—in the province of the other person.

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It sounds like this:

� “If my mother-in-law wasn’t always so negati ve, maybe we could

have a civil conversati on.”

� “If my boyfriend could just get his anger problem under control,

then our relati onship might have a chance.”

� “If my wife could stop needling me for just 10 seconds…”

You get the idea.

If you are one of these people, I hate to burst your bubble on this topic, but it is

ulti mately for your own good and personal empowerment. Here’s the truth of

the matt er:

Your relati onship with them has absolutely nothing to do with them.

That’s right.

Read that sentence again: Your relati onship with them has absolutely

nothing to do with them. In other words, it’s all about you!

This is a hard one for a lot of people to believe. But, you probably would

agree that it takes two to tango. And once you take responsibility for your

end of the energy equati on, everything changes.

It’s as if two people were pulling on the same rope, complaining about

the rope, and yelling to the other one, “Drop the rope!”

Interesti ngly, when one individual discovers that he can simply

drop the rope on his end and then does so, everything about that

relati onship instantly shift s!

So, here’s a quick exercise to help you understand the emoti onal

and energeti c “ropes” you may be holding onto in your

relati onships….

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It’s Time to Find Out EXACTLY What’s Holding You Back…

� Think about a relati onship you have that is troubling you—or a relati onship

you don’t have that you would like to have in your life. Take out a pen or get

on your computer and write down any and all answers that come to mind

when you ask yourself the following questi on:

“When I am thinking or talking about this relati onship,

what am I saying to myself or others?”

� Briefl y review in your mind your last conversati ons about the relati onship you

have chosen to concentrate on, as well as recent thoughts and feelings that

have occurred to you about this relati onship.

But don’t think too much. Just take 5 minutes and write non-stop in answer to

the questi on above.

DO THIS NOW BEFORE READING ANY FURTHER!

Done? Good!

� Now, take a look at what you have writt en.

As you read what you wrote aloud, aft er each sentence ask yourself this

questi on:

“What is the emoti on that is associated with this thought?”

� And then jot down the emoti on of that sentence in the margin.

I have a feeling you may fi nd this exercise very insightf ul.

And you may be interested to know that more than 90% of the

people who do this exercise fi nd that nearly every sentence they

have writt en is full of emoti ons such as fear, anger, frustrati on,

grief and shame.

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Emoti ons like fear, anger,

frustrati on, grief and shame do

not lead to positi ve, harmonious

relati onships! In fact, no matt er what

conscious, positi ve goals and intenti ons you

may have, emoti ons like these will override

anything else! This can lead you down the

wrong relati onship path ti me and again.

Someti mes before you even take the fi rst

step!

Yes, it’s only your unmastered emoti ons that

stand in the way of having the love you desire in healthy, harmonious, fulfi lling

relati onships.

When you remove emoti ons like these, you will tend to move into bett er

relati onships with yourself and others with far greater ease and success.

“My relationship with my wife is greatly improved. We bicker far less frequently and have a more profound understanding of each other and a common sense of purpose. We are closer.” - David Dale, Richmond, BC, Canada

Although we may get a really good idea of what is holding us back from

an exercise like this, many of our thoughts and feelings are subconscious,

that is, below the level of conscious awareness. These thoughts and

feelings are the most powerful. They are the soft ware in our operati ng

system, running their programs day and night.

Many people who have discovered this get discouraged because they

think they have to spend hour upon hour fi guring out exactly what it

is that is holding them back.

And this brings us to…

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“I have to know what my subconscious programs

are or dig up the past in order to let them go.”

People spend years in therapy and doing self-help programs looking for

underlying beliefs that are sabotaging their relati onships. This can be very ti me-

consuming and exhausti ng. Never mind not any fun!

But the truth is, your subconscious thoughts and feelings are being refl ected

in your moods and emoti ons from moment to moment. For example, when

you try to communicate something important to someone and their reacti on

makes you feel like throwing something against the wall—or eati ng a quart

of ice cream—you do not have to run to therapy or probe your past to fi nd a

corresponding negati ve belief.

So here’s exactly what to do to get at those sabotaging thoughts and

feelings…

All you have to do is to pause and release any feeling that is arising in the

moment.

A Simple Process to Release Unwanted Emoti ons Now

Take a moment to check inside and noti ce any feeling you may be

having in this moment.

Now ask yourself the following questi ons:

“Could I let this feeling go?” (In other words, am I able to?)

“Would I let this feeling go?” (Or, am I willing to?)

“When?” (This is an invitati on to let it go now!)

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You don’t even have to name the feeling “jealousy” or know that it started

when you were eight years old and your sister got your Dad’s att enti on

more than you did. All you have to do is noti ce the feeling you are having

right now—and then let it go.

“Y ou cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it.

Y ou must learn to see the world anew.” – Albert Einstein– Albert Einstein

The practi ce of releasing emoti ons as

they arise in the moment eliminates

limiti ng beliefs quickly, eff ecti vely and

without dredging up any past trauma.

Self-sabotaging beliefs are gone for

good.

If you want to be able to manifest

the relati onships of your dreams,

you don’t need to dig up your past

or spend years in therapy. You do,

however, need the skill of being

able to change your emoti onal

state in the moment.

“Never in my 61 yea rs of this life have I experienced such freedom and peace. One of my ga ins is that I have stopped trying to f ix my husband of 42 yea rs. That is one big ga in!”- Gretchen Allmang, Hemet, CA- Gretchen Allmang, Hemet, CA

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Yes, your emoti ons are the glue that holds your thoughts and beliefs in place.

And your thoughts create your reality.

I know, I know. You’ve probably heard that before!

Which brings me to the next very popular cultural myth about relati onships.

And that is a mantra that many people say to themselves over and over

again….

“He or she will make me happy and complete.”

If you’re searching for that perfect someone, stop! If you’re looking to fi nd

fulfi llment in any other person, don’t hold your breath. It simply will not

work out. There is a reason this thought will not manifest your happiness

and completeness as you might wish. And that is because it is ti nged with

wanti ng. And wanti ng is a great way to keep things at bay. Think of it this

way: Would you rather want to be happy and complete—or would you

rather be happy and complete?

The best way to fi nd or att ract your perfect partner or to have fulfi lling

relati onships is to fi rst be your own perfect partner. Most of us are

looking to complete ourselves in another person and this never

works.

As you release your fears, longing and anxiety, and even as you

release the need to fi nd a partner or fi x a relati onship, suddenly

the energy around you will become positi ve. That positi ve

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energy is the key to att racti ng your ideal mate or developing that healthy

relati onship you are longing for.

If you allow yourself to feel your own inner completeness—that who you are

is enough—you will also bring that feeling into your relati onships.

In fact, the more you feel complete with yourself and your life, the more you

will att ract the people you’re looking for. It may sound hard to believe, but this

transiti on will be eff ortless because you will have changed the fl ow of energy in

your life. Try this exercise whenever you have thoughts or feelings of not being

enough…

I Am Enough

� Where in your life and your relati onships do you

feel like “I am not enough”?

� Could you welcome whatever sensati ons,

sounds or pictures that idea sti rs up inside of you

now?

� Could you allow whatever feelings arise in

this moment to simply be here?

� And could you allow them to dissolve, as

best you can?

� And now, could you be open to the

possibility that you are enough?

Some of you may ask, “If I am enough, why do I keep drawing this

into my life?”

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