CLAYTON with

KEYMER PARISH

MAGAZINE

St John the Baptist Clayton

St Cosmas & St Damian Keymer

St Francis, Hassocks

May 2018 35p

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DIARY FOR

May 2018

Morning Prayer is said daily at 09.15 at Keymer Father Alex has a day off on Tuesdays and Fr Tom on Fridays

Wed 2nd

Mothers Union Corporate Communion BCP 10.30 AB

Sun 6th Sixth Sunday of Easter Holy Communion BCP at Clayton Sung Eucharist at Keymer Eucharist at St Francis Family Eucharist at Clayton

08.00 09.45 09.45 09.45

AB JS SM AB

Thur 10th

Ascension Day, +Sung Eucharist at Keymer

19.00

AB

Sat 12th Walsingham Mass “feast or famine” Christian aid week Lunch at the URC

09.30 AB

Sun 13th

Seventh Sunday of Easter Holy Communion BCP at Keymer Sung Eucharist at Keymer Family Service at St Francis breakfast from 09.45 Eucharist at Clayton

08.00 09.45 10.15 11.15

AB AB RH TC

Sat 19th Barn dance and fish and chip supper at Keymer Hall

19.00

Sun 20th

Pentecost Sunday Holy Communion at St Francis +Sung Eucharist at Keymer with Baptism Family Eucharist at St Francis Eucharist at Clayton Pentecost Praise at the URC

08.00 09.45 09.45 11.15 18.00

AB TC AB TC

Tues 22nd

Eucharist at Villa Adastra 10.30 TC

Fri 25th Wedding: Paul Dixon and Julia Carr at Keymer

12.30 TC

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Sat 26th Monthly Requiem Mass Messy Church at the URC

09.30 10.00

TC

Sun 27th

Trinity Sunday Holy Communion BCP at Keymer Family Eucharist at Keymer with Baptism Eucharist at St Francis Holy Communion BCP at Clayton Music by Merbeck, words by Cramner Book of Common Prayer, Repository of Anglican Doctrine or a dusty attic? Evensong at Clayton

08.00 09.45 09.45 11.15 18.30

TC TC SD TC TC

JS Jeremy Sykes SD Stephen Dando

+ services at which incense might be used

Siuhban Anderson our Parish Development Officer works Monday and Wednesday mornings. She can be contacted on 01273 846853 usually from 10.00 - 12.30. (answer-phone at other times) or by email claytonkeymer@gmail.com She will be working on new de-velopments for the parish and handling enquiries and admin in relation to the work of the clergy and assisting with other non-urgent adminis-trative matters.” Please inform Juliet Strange of any items to be included in this monthly diary, 843908 – Email: julietstrange@googlemail.com The deadline for articles for the Parish Magazine is the 15th of the month.

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From the Rector May really begins to feel like spring and that summer is on the way. We have a wedding this month which is the second of the year as we had one on the feast of the Epiphany in January! Eastertide is a glorious time to spend celebrating our faith after the huge build up and climax of Holy week and Easter. We now begin to live the resurrection life that Jesus speaks of. For me as a priest and after my first Easter here as Rector it is a time of personal and professional reflection. What went well? What did not? What was well attended? What was not? Are we succeeding in our mission or are we not? There is a lot to look forward to and work on. The new pattern of worship, the youth club and drop in club, the various groups that we facilitate, Babies, Bumps and Toddlers, Junior Church, the choirs, all sorts of things that engage us and our community in bringing us closer to God. My focus now is to begin the confirmation and admittance to Ho-ly Communion course. I am waiting for ‘confirmation’ of the date. (Good pun there!) but it looks like Wednesday the 11th of July at 7.30pm is a possibility for the service. So we are going to hold our classes on Wednesday evenings beginning on Wednes-day the 6th of June. The dates are as follows: Wednesday 6th of June. 7.00- 8.30pm at the Rectory: Welcome meal and first introduction session Wednesday 13th of June 7.00 -8.30pm Second session Wednesday 20th of June 7.00-8.30pm Third Session Wednesday 27th of June 7.00-8.30pm Fourth Session Wednesday 4th of July 7.00-8.30 Final session and rehearsal preparation for the service

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FROM THE REGISTERS

Baptisms Easter Sunday at St John the Baptist Aiden Barham, Theo Ellis, Arthur Ellis, Funerals April 9th at Clayton, Florence Knight aged 103

April 14th at Clayton, Sheila Eaton aged 93

April 27th at Clayton, Pamela Gasson aged 84

All classes will be at the Rectory and we will also pop into St Cosmas and St Damian for some of the time. If you would like to be confirmed or have a child of seven upwards who would like to be admitted to Holy Communion please regis-ter with me as soon as possible. With prayers and blessings Fr Alex

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Christian Aid week 13th—19th May

SATURDAY MAY 12th 12.30 FOR 12.45,

HASSOCKS UNITED REFORMED CHURCH HALL. Churches Together in Hassocks invite you to a

FEAST OR FAMINE LUNCH in solidarity with all those across the world whose lives

are spent in hunger.

For £5, payable in advance, you will receive EITHER a 3-course meal with wine OR a bowl of rice and a glass of water. Those receiving rice will be in the

majority. Lots will be drawn on the day. Proceeds will be shared between Cafod and

Christian Aid.

Claire Coghlin (01273 843143) and David Williams (01273 843203) Do support this ecumenical event!

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Saturday May 19th

–

Joint Barn Dance and Fish and Chip Supper with St Edwards Church at Keymer Church Hall

Cost: £15.00 per ticket

(includes Fish Supper and Ceilidh)

Music starts at 7.00pm with dancing concluding at 10.30'ish

Please bring your own drinks and glasses and a

bag to take home any rubbish.

It is the FA Cup Final, it is also the day when there is a Royal Wedding in the afternoon but more importantly - in the evening we are having a Fish Supper & Ceilidh Social in St Cosmas and Damian Parish Hall to raise funds for The Kangaroo Group, in memory of Ella Thatcher. Ella

died on 5 February 2018 aged 10 years and The Kangaroo Group gave Ella so much enjoyment that we would like to

support their fund-raising to help other children in the future.

The tickets will be on sale after Easter but numbers will be

limited due to the size of the hall & dancing space and

sadly some people may be disappointed.

Remember, if you snooze you lose - so book early!

Catherine Cassidy 01273 844041

rccass1dy@aol.com

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Forthcoming Dates

Saturday June 23rd

– Italian Evening at Clayton with entertainment. Full details next month but keep the evening free! Saturday August 4

th –

‘Sea Side Special’ afternoon at St Francis Saturday 29th September – Harvest Supper at Keymer with entertainment from ‘No Strings Attached.’ Saturday November 17

th –

Christmas Fair Adastra Hall Saturday January 19th 2019 – Murder Mystery Evening

All our church halls are available to hire for private functions or regular events. Details of whom to contact are in the back of this magazine. St Francis has particularly asked to advertise their vacancies at the moment.

St Francis Church Hall in Priory Road Hassocks is available for hire. It is suitable for Children’s Birthday Parties as well as Small Meetings, Fitness Groups etc. There are 50 stack-ing chairs and 4 trestle tables available. The current hire charge is £8.50p per hour ( this will be increasing to £10.00 per hour from 1st September 2018) and includes use of the kitchen facilities. There are off road parking spaces. Please contact the Booking Secretary, Mike Neighbour on 01273 845472 or email mike@neighbour.plus.com for further in-formation and available dates.

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Editor: Here is a story based on the Archbishop’s new book…

UK is at moral and political ‘tipping point’

Brexit could just be the catalyst that tips Britain into succumbing to ‘British introspection, xenophobia, and self-pity, if a self-regarding attitude leads to economic failure and international impotence, as well being morally wrong in and of itself.’

So warns the Archbishop of Canterbury in his new book, Reimag-ining Britain: Foundations for hope*. He warns that already ‘the cracks in society have begun to show, expressed in crime, in the growth of intolerance, and above all in an inward-turning.’

Justin Welby wrote the book to contribute to the debate on the fu-ture of the country, particularly after Brexit has happened. He stresses that his vision for the future is based on Christian values of cohesion, courage and sustainability. ‘If we pretend we do not have a Christian tradition and heritage, we start in a vacuum.’ He urges Churches and Christians to ‘be confident in what we believe’.

‘The UK grew from Christian roots; my hope is that in the future it rediscovers the power of the narrative that has shaped it for so long and set its values so deeply.’

The Archbishop also said that he did not see how sharia could ‘fit within our legal system’, as it ‘comes from a very different back-ground of jurisprudence to the one from which British law has de-veloped over the past 500 years.’

* Reimagining Britain: Foundations for hope, by Justin Welby, Bloomsbury, £9.99

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Prayer Corner

The seventh commandment is “Neither shall you commit adultery” Could be said opposite from adultery is de-votion. How can we practice Devotion today and each day in our community and to God God of love, help me to be devoted today and each day To you and to those who I am called to love. Amen

Parish Bible Study Group:

Next meeting will be on May 22nd at

52 Stonepound Road at 7:30. We will be looking at Apostles

Prayer (Acts 4:23-31). All welcome

Carol Tester 01273 844972

Whilst at a Palm Sunday Communion service recently the Lord brought back a memory Some years ago I was in hospital and one of the nurses came round with a bowl of water and said ‘May I wash your feet?’ Please let me wash your feet. She was small and oriental a with a lovely smile and she went to each patient washing and massaging their feet. Pain etched faces relaxed into smiles of appreciation yes, the pain was still there but, somehow this gentle ministry made it more bearable. Thank you Lord for all who are making life more bearable for others and bless each one. Rita Arnold

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Church bells will still ring out

Planning policy is finally coming to the aid of church bells. No long-er will people who move into areas with ‘noisy’ church bells be able to complain and have them shut down.

As the Secretary of State for Housing, Sajid Javid, recently said, ‘Churches have been part of British life in towns and villages for centuries. Their bells should not be silenced by new housing going up, which is why planning policy will be strengthened to ensure it will be up to developers building new properties nearby to identify and tackle noise problems.’

And so it is that under the new guidance, it will be up to developers to soundproof the homes they build near churches with bells, music venues, and community and sports clubs.

The Church of England has welcomed the decision, pointing out that bell-ringing has been part of Christian worship for more than 1000 years.

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A Grandmother’s thoughts on Christ’s Ascension…..“Thou hast as-cended on high...” Ps.68: v18 My dearest Grandchild, Easter is now past and, like the final, resounding chord in an inspired symphony, Christ’s Ascension lifts all our human discord up into tri-umphant, harmonious resolution. Caught up to Heaven in bodily form, Christ, evolutionary pioneer of our race, carries within him spiritually perfected human nature. The New, second Adam, clothed in the mantle of Christ, is restored, en-riched and reunited with God, for “God became Man, that Man might become God”. (Athanasius). Christ has become our flawless template, accessible to all who would seek the promised immortality of the soul. We are born into a life weighed down by gravity’s downward drag towards the earth. Yet Christ has proved that a life receptive and ani-mated by the Holy Spirit of Love is diverted upwards in a rising arc, destined for Ascension. Christ shakes us awake in order to show us, before it is too late, that our latent spirituality is ripe for transfor-mation. The material and the spiritual worlds are like 2 overlapping circles whose conjoined, intersecting arms form a mutual embrace, creating thereby a shared window of potential, where Spirit merges with Matter and becomes mortal Life, in Space and Time. It is in this pivotal Here and Now that we are offered life’s precious moments of opportunity, where our choices determine our eventual fate. As St. Paul says: “Now is the acceptable hour”. By trust in Christ we may shed the weight of earth’s gravitational pull and exchange it for the upward ascending trajectory of His Heavenly Way. Throughout the Bible there runs this strong sense of urgency for hu-manity to stir from its comfortable, earthbound, accustomed sloth and awake from its slumber, to move upwards, from darkness towards the light. Our darkness produces a persistently defensive mind-set which is a breeding ground for negative attitudes, constantly creating excuses to remain within the safe confines of our limited horizons. Secure within our comfort zone, many become practised at totally rejecting pain and suffering for anyone --- especially the innocent?” “How can

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the very idea of an all-powerful, loving God, with the most basic of ob-jections: “How could such a God possibly allow the existence of we be expected to fly in the face of reason and believe in miracles?” It seems easier to turn to science for our answers. Originally the servant of true religion, science has now become the modern deity, allowing the pride of human intellect to hold full sway over our hearts. It provides us with a conveniently impersonal, amoral idol to explain away every confusion, leaving us free to continue on our downward trajectory…..ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Yet God will, as ever, remain all-powerful. Even as we turn away, we cannot avoid travelling full circle to face Him again and “ALL things work together to please God”…even our mistakes. For in spite (or because) of its relentless logic, science is subtly leading us, under its banner, to believe in more and yet more apparently impossible facts which have hitherto traditionally belonged within the realm of miracles. Entranced by the apparent authority of science, we now believe in ever more astounding realities, as the quantum world of sub-atomic physics displays ever expanding and ever diminishing minutiae of extraordinary revelation, whilst simultaneously multiplying the ultimate mys-teries of existence. We are indeed back where we started: immersed in the inexplicable mystery of God. Yet with this difference: Science is now in accord with religion, as it freely admits the miraculous, seemingly illogical, nature of reality. Can any-one now honestly refute the truth-laden significance of Christian “miracles” when even science offers uncertain theories about the unknown nature of a full 95% of the universe? Dare we wonder, in a preposterous leap of faith, whether this all-pervading, inexplicable 95% (so far cautiously labelled “dark energy” and “dark matter”) is, in fact, the all-essential vehicle for “Love”, in Creation? Dare we surmise that the missing ingredient for scientific investigation is in fact the all-pervasive power of “Goodness”? Might this “stone”, hitherto re-jected as un-scientificly irrelevant, yet become the chief “Keystone” of proof for science’s Holy Grail: the “Theory of Everything”?. Ascension will then combine science’s eureka moment with the true Grand Finale of Love! Your loving Grandmother J.R.H. ..

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6th May Rogation Sunday (Sunday before Ascension)

Rogation means an asking of God - for blessing on the seed and land for the year ahead. It is appropriate in any emergency, war, plague, drought or foul weather. The practice began with the Romans, who invoked the help of the gods Terminus and Ambarvalia. In those days a crowd moved in procession around the cornfields, singing and dancing, sacrificing animals, and driving away Winter with sticks. They wanted to rid the cornfields of evil. About 465 the Western world was suffering from earthquake, storm and epidemic. So Mamertius, Bishop of Vienne, aware of the popular pagan custom, ordered that prayers should be said in the ruined or neglected fields on the days leading up to Ascension. With his decision, ‘beating the bounds’ became a Christian ceremonial. Rogation-tide arrived in England early in the eighth century, and be-came a fixed and perennial asking for help of the Christian God. On Ro-gation-tide, a little party would set out to trace the boundaries of the parish. At the head marched the bishop or the priest, with a minor offi-cial bearing a Cross, and after them the people of the parish, with schoolboys and their master trailing along. Most of them held slender wands of willow. At certain points along the route - at well-known landmarks like a bridge or stile or ancient tree, the Cross halted, the party gathered about the priest, and a litany or rogation is said, imploring God to send sea-sonable wealth, keep the corn and roots and boughs in good health, and bring them to an ample harvest. At one point beer and cheese would be waiting. In the days when maps were neither common nor accurate, there was much to be said for ‘beating the bounds’ - still very common as late as the reign of Queen Victoria. Certainly parish boundaries rarely came into dispute, for everyone knew them. (Do you know yours today?)

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Beating the Bounds

We have ideas of a parish activity sometime in the future, on the lines of the old "Beating the Bounds" ceremony and for our parish we think it should be possible. Whether it will be a walk, run or what is open for discussion.

As a start, Helen Graham and I are planning to try out a route for this as a run on Bank Holiday Monday 7th May starting from Keymer Church at 8 am. and hoping to be back somewhere about 10am. It will be a slow chatty run to see if it will work and what the conditions underfoot are likely to be. We guess mud in some places! We think the distance is about 8 miles. Anyone is welcome to join us but it won't be a fast "race". We expect it will go up Ockley Lane to Oldlands Mill, follow the footpath north to return to Ockley Lane and then go via the Water Tower over the railway bridge to London Road, round the green circle to the southerly path which heads all the way down to Belmont and Belmont Lane, crossing Hurst Road still going south to New Way Lane, back to Clayton, up to the downs, along the top to Keymer Post then down the tank track and Lodge Lane back to where we started. Its not exactly on the boundary but as near as we can get using existing paths and rights of way. Interestingly there are two boundary markers that we currently know about, Keymer Post and a stone on the south side of Hurst Road, opposite Belmont Lane. It would be helpful to know if anyone else will be joining us so do please let us know if you plan to come. 07801 635067. David Clark

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Editor: Nigel Beeton writes: ‘This year sees a couple of important anniversaries: it was the 100th anniversary of the Representation of the People Act in February, and it will be the 90th anniversary of the Representation of the People (Equal Franchise) Act 1928 in July. Meanwhile, on 3rd May the Local Government Elections will take place, thus offering us an opportunity to take up the right won for us all by the suffragettes and campaigners of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Turnout is often low for Local Government elections. That, it seems to me, is a pity.’

Thursday, the Third Day of May

When we opt not to vote We ought to take note That it’s not been forever like this; Not that long ago It would have been so That we’d have to give voting a miss! Unless we were rich With cloth of gold stitch A Lord or a Peer of the Land A country Esquire Referred to as ‘Sire’ But always, and only, a man! Yet, over long years Of blood, sweat and tears The inflexible rule of the male Was challenged and fought And liberty bought ‘Gainst strong opposition, and jail. So no-one forgets The brave suffragettes Who fought till the system gave way, Go early and bright Make use of your right And vote on the third day of May! By Nigel Beeton

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No Escape Clauses

I’ve noticed a sudden increase in the number of banns of marriage being read in our church. I suspect that a few couples reckon it would be a nice idea to get married in the same month as Prince Harry and his bride Meghan – at least you’ll be regularly reminded of the date!

But I hope, and believe, that some couples are not just looking for a bit of reflected glamour on the occasion, but instead are wanting to share in its solemnity. After all, they will make (if they marry in church) exactly the same awesome vows as the royal couple. ‘I Harry take you, Meghan, to be my wife; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till parted by death.’

Wow! I remember one young man at a wedding preparation saying, when I read out those words, ‘No escape clauses, then?

No, there aren’t. On a wedding day we celebrate the joining together of two people for life. Their commitment is not based on rules, laws or tradition, but on love: ‘to love and to cherish’. Sadly, on occasions that commitment may prove unattainable, in the complexity of human relationships. But the great majority of marriages which begin with those vows are indeed life-long and life-giving.

Harry and Meghan will be surrounded by a nationwide burst of good-will as they set out on their journey together. It will be a good time to hold every married couple, young or old, in our prayers.

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Across 1 Overpowered (Deuteronomy 11:4) (11) 9 ‘The — are mantled with corn’ (Psalm 65:13) (7) 10 ‘Each man—a sword to his side’(Exodus32:27)(5) 11 On the death of Jesus the curtain in the temple was torn from— to bottom (Matthew 27:51) (3) 13 Stagger(Isaiah 28:7)(4) 16 ‘Anyone,then,who knows the good he ought——and doesn’t do it, sins’ (James 4:17) (2,2) 17 Stir up or provoke(Acts13:50)(6) 18 Burden(Luke11:46)(4) 20 ‘As far as the east is from the—,so far has he removed our transgressions from us’ (Psalm 103:12) (4) 21 Sign(Luke23:38)(6) 22 ‘After that,Jesus poured water into a basin and began to—his disciples’ feet’ (John 13:5) (4) 23 The nature of the seven ears of corn which swallowed up the good ears in Pharaoh’s dream (Genesis 41:23) (4) 25 Has(anag.)(3) 28 ‘This is the account of Shem,Ham and Japheth,—sons’ (Genesis 10:1) (5) 29 ‘I will...make them drunk,so that they...sleep for—and— awake’ (Jeremiah 51:39) (4,3) 30 Paul said of him,‘he often refreshes me and is not ashamed of my chains’ (2 Timothy 1:16) (11)

A couple of

puzzles for you to

try while you sit in the sun and enjoy

the Spring weather

(well we can hope can’t we!)

Crossword answers on

page 30

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Down 2 Worth (Matthew 13:46) (5) 3 ‘A bruised — he will not break’ (Matthew 12:20) (4) 4 ‘Suddenly a great company of the heavenly — appeared with the an-gel’ (Luke 2:13) (4) 5 Slip (anag.) (4) 6 ‘Take an awl and push it through his — — into the door, and he will be-come your servant for life’ (Deuteronomy 15:17) (3,4) 7 Bountiful (2 Corinthians 8:2) (11) 8 ‘Therefore, as we have — , let us do good to all people’ (Galatians 6:10) (11) 12 Acquire(2Timothy2:10)(6) 14 Container cover(Numbers19:15)(3) 15 ‘He...became obedient to death,even death on——!’ (Philippians 2:8) (1,5) 19 Refrain(1Peter2:11)(7) 20 ‘She began to—his feet with her tears’(Luke7:38)(3) 24 One who worships Brahma,Vishnu or Shiva(5) 25 ‘Give to everyone who—you’(Luke6:30)(4) 26 ‘I lift up my eyes to the hills;where does my—come from?’ (Psalm 121:1) (4) 27 One of those whom the Lord said would be taken from Jerusalem and Ju-dah as judgment on them (Isaiah 3:2) (4)

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VILLA ADASTRA CARE HOME

Villa Adastra is run by The Salvation Army, and provides care in a Christian environment for the

elderly and elderly with dementia. The home was upgraded in 1997, and comprises of 40

single rooms, each with en-suite facilities. All care needs are delivered by trained care staff, 24 hours a day. There are communal rooms where residents can meet together, and delightful grounds to be enjoyed.

Villa Adastra, 79 Keymer Road,

Hassocks, BN6 8QH Tel: 01273 842184

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Churchyard & Cemetery

Headstones & Memorials

Direct from local craftsmen

Workshop: 01444 245737

Mobile: 07973 601907

Www.monumentalmasons.co.uk

Downsview Monumental Co. Burgess Hill

Mark Evans Carpenter & Joiner Lewes City & Guilds For all your carpentry needs & general building work. Tel; 01273 483426 Mob: 07881 716811 Email markevanscarpentry@gmail.com

‘No job too small’

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On church towers, rock cakes, scaffolding

and the merits of confirming bats

My dear Nephew Darren We are finally about to start repairing our medieval church tower. Would that we still paid medieval prices for having it done; there would be a degree of satisfaction in giving the builders a hogshead of ale and 10 sheep once the work was completed. I would even be prepared to throw in an Indulgence, sparing them 100 days in purgatory (the architect probably claiming 15% of them for himself). After several endless jumble sales, coffee mornings – where we were obliged to eat Mrs Jarvis’s rock cakes (many of us would have been happier to make a substantial donation to the fund provided we didn’t have to eat them) – sponsored events (Mr Peat has yet to return, five years late, from his sponsored cycle ride across the Sahara – but fortunately, we had his sponsor money collected before he departed) and a substantial loan from the bank that makes the National Debt seem trivial (and has the same probability of being repaid), we are now able to begin. The only sponsored event I regretted not having was paying to have Lady Trotter remain silent for a month. Even sponsoring her to keep quiet for half an hour would have been pleasant. We received a substantial donation from a local manufacturer. It was suggested that as a sign of appreciation we advertise their products from the top of the tower – until it was gently pointed out that they produce nuclear warheads. I would have had no objection; knowing that council members possessed tactical nuclear weapons would make discussion at meetings rather brisker.

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Scaffolding has now been erected around the tower, with the first 20 feet covered in sheet metal in order to stop the Young Farmers, after refreshing themselves at their Tuesday meetings in the pub, from trying to see who could be the first to reach the top. Personal-ly, I suspect it is to stop the more athletic members of the Ladies’ Guild from attempting the same feat. 80-year-olds these days can have fearsome energy and determination. Fulfilling current safety regulations, there is now a security cordon around the tower of approximately 10 square miles. “Lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone”? These days, a dashed foot would involve court proceedings and damages of several million pounds. Inside the church, the organ has had to be covered in polythene sheeting in order to protect it. Parish relations were somewhat strained last week when our deputy organist, Mrs Ffrench, while playing for Evensong, overheard me refer to the large bag on the organ and got quite the wrong impression. The greatest inconvenience will be caused to our population of bats, but if it dissuades them from flying into church so much the better. The only other possibility is to get them all confirmed; we will then never see them inside church again. Your loving uncle, Eustace

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Grave Care Gardening

Grave tending visits with care,

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Contact Mary on

01444 236848 email mitchell@platform11.org.uk

www.gravecaregardening.co.uk

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Our Parish Website www.claytonwithkeymer.org.uk

Our website contains details of all known events organised by the churches throughout the coming year, and is a good place to check for clashes if you are wanting to arrange an event. The website is only as good as the information loaded onto it, so if you are responsible for an event, please give the details to claytonkeymer@gmail.com or 01273 846853 (Mon and Wed mornings). We can add pictures and update the information as the event approaches, publicise it through Facebook (Parish of Clayton with Keymer) - which is good as a reminder nearer the time - and include a report and pho-tos afterwards to show people what goes on in our parish. We are in the process of rebuilding our web site so ‘watch this space.’

The PCC of the Parish of Clayton with Keymer is committed to encour-aging an environment where all people and especially those who are vulnerable for any reason (children and adults alike) are able to worship and pursue their faith journey with encouragement and in safety. The safeguarding policies are displayed in each of the churches and church halls. For help, advice or guidance on any safeguarding matter please contact either the rector or one of the safeguarding officers. Details are to be found at the back of the parish magazine or the poster displayed adjacent to the policy in your church or church hall. The link to the Diocese of Chichester Safeguarding Policies, on which our policies are based, can be found at:

http://safeguarding.chichester.anglican.org/policy/

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Canterbury monks

My boyfriend was working as an attendant in Canterbury Cathe-dral when one afternoon he was approached by two American tourists. "Are you a monk?" one of the women asked eagerly. "No," he replied, "I wear this robe as part of my job, but I’m not a member of any religious order." "Then where are the monks?" asked the woman, looking around. My boyfriend explained: ‘Oh, there haven’t been any monks here since 1415.’ Hearing this, the woman looked at her watch and announced to her friend, ‘Betty, we missed the monks.’

Telly trouble

A woman summoned a TV repairman to fix her set. After spread-ing his tools out, the serviceman inquired: ‘What seems to be the trouble?’ Replied the woman: ‘Well, for starters, the programmes are appalling.’

Got it all already

‘I cannot understand you,’ said the young man to his unmarried aunt. ‘You seem so happy and contented. I’ve always thought that unmarried women are lonely and miserable and just longing for the presence of a man about the place.’ ‘Well,’ his aunt responded, smiling, ‘I’ve got a fireplace that smokes, a parrot that swears, a cat that stays out half the night with no explanation, and a dog that leaves muddy footprints all over the house and lies on the couch in front of the telly for hours. What more do I want?’

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Say yes

We accompanied our son and his fiancée when they met with the priest to sign some pre-wedding ceremony papers. While filling out the form, our son read aloud a few questions. When he got to the last one, which read ‘Are you entering this marriage at your own will?’ he looked over at his fiancée. ‘Put down “yes,”’ she said.

Bank Holiday break

It’s always nice to see people with plenty of get-up-and-go, especially if some of them are visiting you.

Some miscellaneous one-liners …

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes. The best vitamin for a Christian is B1. The Church: under the same management for over 2000 years. Soul food served here. Don't give up on yourself. Even Moses was once a basket case. Satan subtracts and divides. God adds and multiplies. What he lacked in depth as a preacher he made up for in length. Mark Twain Was Noah's wife called Joan of Ark? Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. If you lend someone £20, and never see that person again, it was prob-ably worth it. Birds of a feather flock together and mess on your car.

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ORGANIZATIONS and Groups in the Parish

JUNIOR CHURCH & DISCOVERERS – KEYMER –3 to 11+ years Church Hall each Sunday except 3rd, 9.45 am Leader : Mrs Carolyn Paynter, 82 Grand Avenue 01273 844186 Leader : Mrs Danielle Sensier, 49 Lodge Lane 01273 845964 JUNIOR CHURCH – ST FRANCIS – 3 to 14 + years Church Hall each Sunday except 2nd, 9.45 am Contact : Mrs Jacquie Drake 01273 842122 1st KEYMER GUIDES Church Hall each Wed 7.30 pm Guider : Mrs Margaret Maillardet, 103 Dale Avenue 01273 842342 CHURCH FLOWER ARRANGERS Contacts : Keymer: Mrs Mary Birch 01444 235417 St Francis: Mrs Jill Hewer 01273 844208 Clayton: Mrs Jill Rogers 01273 846049 KEYMER CHURCH CHOIR If you are interested in joining the choir please contact Pauline Stone. No auditions, all welcome. 01273 843612 BELLRINGERS Practice night Wednesday 7.30—8.45 pm Details Diana Webley-Ward, 63 Woodsland Rd. 01273 842360

The Keymer Cell of Our-Lady-of-Walsingham On the second Saturday of the month the cell meets for Mass at 9.30 am followed by breakfast. Pilgrimages to England’s Nazareth, the Shrine at Walsingham are arranged. Secretary:- Mrs Val Bulley 01273 842355

BIBLE READING GROUP

St Francis Vestry on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of the month at 2.00 pm

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ADDITIONAL CURATES SOCIETY Parish Rep : Mrs Jeanne Reid, 2 The Minnels 01273 846037

BIBLE READING FELLOWSHIP Group Sec : Mr Robert Pinnock, Tower House, High Street, Hurstpierpoint 01273 831730 BIBLE SOCIETY –Hassocks & District Action Group Miss Carol Tester, 52 Stonepound Road 01273 844972 TEAR FUND/TEAR CRAFT Parish Rep : Miss Carol Tester, 52 Stonepound Road 01273 844972 CMS PARISH SECRETARY Mrs Jill Hewer 01273 844208 CHRISTIAN AID Appeals Sec : Mrs Kate Sims, 103 Grand Avenue 01273 844802 Newcomers contact Scheme co-ordinator. If you know of a newcomer in Hassocks please contact Mrs Jacquie Drake and she will alert the nearest member of the contact team. 01273 842122 ‘Bumps, Babies and Toddlers’ 1.30 pm every Thursday in St Francis Church Hall, Priory Road Hassocks. Toys and activities for children. Refresh-ments and time to chat. Contact : Mrs Jacquie Drake 01273 842122 PRAYER FOR ISRAEL

The meetings for Prayer for Israel are continuing and you are wel-come to contact Rita Arnold for details 01273 843018

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CHURCH OF ST JOHN-THE-BAPTIST, CLAYTON

Churchwarden Vacancy Deputy Churchwardens Mr. James Coppen 1 Brangwyn’s Acre Ditchling 01273 841982 Mrs Sue Thomson, Holt Valley Farm, Clayton 01273 845158 Church Secretary Mrs Sue Thomson, Holt Valley Farm, Clayton 01273 845158 Organist Mr John Walker, 2 Adastra Avenue 01273 842266 Asst Treasurer Mr Robert Pinnock, Tower House, High Street, Hurstpierpoint

01273 831730 Church Hall Lets Mrs Debbie Pateman debbiepateman@btinternet.com 01273 843985

CHURCH OF ST COSMAS & ST DAMIAN, KEYMER

Churchwardens Mrs Kate Sims 103 Grand Avenue 01273 844802 Mrs Janet Sharman 12 Church Mead 01273 845194 Deputy Churchwarden Mrs Katherine Sheldon 13 Dale Ave. 01273 843357 Church Secretary Vacancy Director of Music Miss Pauline Stone 38 Lodge Lane 01273 843612 Assistant Organists: Mr Marcus Martin 119 College Lane, Hurst 01273 832512 Mr Isaac Powell Wivelsfield Vicarage 07597 327525 Asst Treasurer Mrs Janice LeGrys 17 Park Ave 01273 846609 Church Hall Lets Mrs Janet Sharman, 12 Church Mead 01273 845194

ACROSS: 1, Overwhelmed. 9, Valleys. 10, Strap. 11, Top. 13, Reel. 16, To do. 17, Incite. 18, Load. 20, West. 21, Notice. 22, Wash. 23, Thin. 25, Ash. 28, Noah’s. 29, Ever not. 30, Onesiphorus. DOWN: 2, Value. 3, Reed. 4, Host. 5, Lisp. 6, Ear lobe. 7, Overflowing. 8, Opportunity. 12, Obtain. 14, Lid. 15, A cross. 19, Abstain. 20, Wet. 24, Hindu. 25, Asks. 26, Help.

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CHURCH OF ST FRANCIS OF ASSISI, PRIORY ROAD, HASSOCKS

Churchwarden Mr. Christopher Moss 21 Clayton Ave. 01273 842201 Vacancy Deputy Churchwarden Mike Neighbour 4 shepherds Walk 01273 845472 Music Group Mrs Lyn Bond 34 shepherds Walk 01273 842387 Church Secretary Mrs Patricia Heath 54 Shepherds Walk 01273 843237 Asst Treasurer Miss Carol Tester, 52 Stonepound Road 01273 844972 Church Hall Lets Mr. Mike Neighbour 4 shepherds Walk 01273 845472 mike@neighbour.plus.com THE PARISH MAGAZINE – Published on the last Sunday of each month Editor Mrs Juliet Strange, 32 Lodge Lane 01273 843908 julietstrange@googlemail.com Deputy Editor Mr Simon Strange, 32 Lodge Lane 01273 843908 Advertising Manager Mrs Annette Capps 6 Keymer Rd. 01273 845439 Production Team Mr James Coppen, Mr Philip de SteCroix & Mr Dennis South Circulation Manager Mrs Jean Taplin, 4 The Crescent Keymer 01273 845276 CHURCH SAFEGUARDING OFFICERS: Clayton: Mrs Sandra Boyd, 35 Damian Way, 01273 844904 St Francis: Mrs Mary Chambers 18 Woodsland Rd. 01273 845493 Keymer: Mrs Moira Montieth 20 Church Mead o1273 841298

The views expressed by individuals in any letter or article included in this Magazine are not necessarily those of the Clergy, or of the Editor, or of the PCC. Items for the Magazine should have the name, address and, if available, the phone number of the sender attached. None of these latter need necessarily be printed. All letters relating to problems of an ecclesiastical or pastoral nature should be addressed to the Parish Priest or to the Bishop of Horsham (not the Editor) and sent to them direct, Articles deemed to have a political slant will not be published. Items from Parish Pump are copyright to that organization c/o The Parish Pump Ltd., PO Box 236, Macclesfield, SK10 4GJ. While believing that advertisers provide goods and services of a good quality and fair price, publication of an advertisement in this Magazine does not necessarily imply any particular commendation or assurance.

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THE STAFF OF THE PARISH

Rector The Revd. Alexander Baxter

The Rectory, Keymer 01273 875894 Email; alexbaxter66@yahoo.co.uk Assistant Priest The Revd. Thomas Cameron 11 The Spinney 01273 846274 Reader Mr. Robin Holford 48 Church Mead 01273 842651 Youth Worker Mr Gary Pickett gpickett170@gmail.com 07745 299289 Hon Sec. to PCC Mrs Janet Sharman 12 Church Mead 01273 845194 Hon Treas to PCC Anne Knowles 45 Bonny Wood Road 01273 846925 annie_mcknowles@btinternet.com Electoral Roll Officer Mrs Jennifer Pinnock, Tower House High St. Hurst 01273 831730 Stewardship Scheme Recorder: Mr. Robert Pinnock 01273 831730 Tower House High St. Hurst Parish website: www.claytonwithkeymer.org.uk

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