AS A RU L E

u

kharabsheh, april 2002

wakeel booksa m m a n

© nuh ha mim keller 2002

All rights reserved

Printed in Jordan

c o n t e n t s

I. Intention 7

II. Travelling Here 7

III. Benefiting 10

IV. Adab 16

V. Money 28

VI. Eating 32

VII. Housing 34

VIII. The True Murid 39

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate

Ev e r yo n e is warmly welcome to the neighborhood. TheiProphet (Allah bless him and give him peace) has said,

“The weightiest thing in the balance scales is noble character,”and this is our rule. The following guidelines are to ensure thatboth guests and residents have a beneficial and pleasant stay.

i . intention

One’s intention in visiting should be to draw closer to Allah, byimproving one’s knowledge and practice of Islam. It is not acondition that one belong to a tariqa, however the intentionshould not be religious tourism, or to merely hang out “beingIslamic,” but rather to change oneself. Guests are here by per-mission of the sheikh, and many are m u r i ds or “disciples” whohave come for t a r b i y a or spiritual education. This means notonly worship, dhikr, personal study, and learning with teachers,but also working on oneself and one’s outlook.

i i . travelling here

All who come accept to live under our authority and the rulesand a d a b (decent manners) of Islam as long as they are here.

7

Umm Sahl is the authority over the ladies, and decides whocomes and goes, and where they stay while here.

People wishing to be picked up at the airport must fax theirflight information a few days in advance. Muhammad, a reli-able taxi driver who is our neighbor, is happy for the business,day or night, when advised ahead of time. All who desire to stay here for more than two weeks must register at the localpolice station within fifteen days. If asked by airport security at the passport check, one should plainly say one is “going tovisit Sheikh Nuh” in Kharabsheh, West Amman. If the phonenumber is requested, it is: 515–3904.

Those who come from the West after a trip of ten or morehours are prone to jetlag, and should walk around under thenoonday sun for two hours or so on the first day they arrive, forexample in the marketplace downtown, to readjust their internalclocks. Sleeping during the first day but perpetuates the jetlag.

Men can come by any means of travel they wish. Ladies canalso do so if they have a husband or m a h ra m (family memberthey are legally forbidden to marry such as a father, brother, oruncle) to accompany them. If they do not, they must ask forspecial permission to come without one. The primary basis inSacred Law is that it is unlawful for women to travel farther than81 kilometers or 50 miles one-way without a m a h ra m . Excep-tions are made in the Shafi‘i school for a woman travelling in a group of reliable women to hajj, in view of such a journeybeing personally obligatory. The sheikh’s position is that anunaccompanied woman may also travel, if the way is safe, toattain personally obligatory knowledge that would be impos-sible to attain without doing so—including travelling to take the

8

as a rule

knowledge of the spiritual path directly from one’s sheikh.A number of the ulema have explicitly stated that the knowl-edge of t a s a w w uf is personally obligatory, and in the presentdebilitating cultural attack on religion, it is even more impera-tive, since for many people, it is the only way to maintain theirreligion in our times. A lady may travel to visit if the followingconditions are met:

(1) she must be taken by her family to the airport that shedeparts from and picked up from the airport here, andvice versa on her return;

(2) the air route must be a direct flight with no intermediatestopovers, coming or going. If there is a flight con-nection, for example, in London when travelling onBritish Airways from New York to Amman, the womanmust be in transit and not leave the airport;

(3) once she arrives she may not live alone but must livewith the other ladies here in the housing in our neigh-borhood;

(4) she may not travel anywhere beyond the distance oftravelling (81 kilometers or 50 miles one-way) withouta m a h ra m once she arrives;

(5) she must agree in advance to accept the authority anddecisions of Umm Sahl on all aspects of her stay here,including its termination; and

(6) she may not go out of the immediate area of the zawiya(hall for dhikr and lessons) and guesthouse (termed the

9

t r avelling here

s a k a n or “living quarters”) after ‘ i s h a (nightfall prayer),and if she does visit within this radius, she must be backhome by 11:00 p.m. “Immediate area” means the homeson the street of the mosque and those along the alleywaybeside the men’s guesthouse. Other apartments, such asthe roof apartment across the main road, the garage onthe street behind the ladies’guesthouse, Abu Khaldun’sfurnished apartment down below the sheikh’s house, or the alleyway to Wakeel Books via Umm Firas’s: allthese, and homes farther away, are off limits at night to ladies without a m a h ra m .

i i i . benefiting

Everyone should bring what they need to keep busy. Most peo-ple come here for t a s a w w u f, in which there are lessons almostnightly, two nights of the week in Arabic, two in English, and one in both. The other available subjects include Arabic,tajwid (Qur’anic recitation), fi q h (jurisprudence), and ‘ a q i d a(tenets of faith).

Respect must be shown to the teachers, such as SheikhHussein, Ustaz Nabil, Ustaz Maher, Sidi ‘Ala', Sidi Amjad, Sidi ‘Isa and the other teachers. One should never miss a sin-gle lesson unless one is physically ill or out of town. Lessonscancelled by students ruin the ambition (himma) of the teacher,just as lessons cancelled by the teacher ruin the ambition of thestudents. Those who miss a lesson risk losing it, and repeatedabsentees may not be allowed to continue. If an excuse preventsone from attending a lesson, one should notify the teacher theprevious day. This is the very least of adab.

10

as a rule

During lessons, one sits with legs crossed, and faces andlistens attentively to the teacher. It is rude to extend one’s legs,make noise, yawn, fidget, scratch, look at one’s watch, or look at one’s neighbor, much less to talk with him. Questions are notdiscouraged at any time, and men can raise their index finger or hand to get the teacher’s attention, while ladies can write their questions on pieces of paper and drop them from behindthe curtain, although in some lessons, such as Hanafi fiqh inEnglish, they may ask questions aloud. The teacher decides thecriteria for women’s vocal participation.

Respect must be shown to the z a w i y a by smoothing out therugs at the end of the lesson and straightening up the cushionsand pallets. One does not just get up and leave.

A d a b puts b a ra k a or blessedness in one’s learning, and with-out it, there is none.

A ra b i c

Everyone here should be working on their Arabic, memorizingnew words each day, consolidating previously learned vocab-ulary, and expanding their grammar. In addition to the courseshere at the Qa-s.id Institute for Classical Arabic, which are good,one can arrange private lessons (from one to three dinars per one-hour lesson) with some of the Arab m u r i ds specialized inClassical Arabic. At least one private lesson a week is recom-mended for those seriously trying to learn the language. Oneshould also have an educated Arab over to one’s house, when one first comes, to say the names of common household items.Imitating native speakers from a tape recorder is often fasterand better than pen and paper in language acquisition.

12

as a rule

All who stay here must speak to each other in Arabic, eitherclassical or colloquial, from sunrise until s u n s e t, except whenEnglish is necessary in asking one’s teacher a question, ex-plaining something to a pupil, or speaking with the sheikh orUmm Sahl. Business conversations and matters of necessity are an exception, but only in the minimum needed. Childrenmay be spoken to in English anytime, as they will learn Arabicfrom the Arab children anyway. Otherwise, if one speaks a full sentence of English, even to one’s wife or husband, onemust contribute five qursh to the Mu‘adh ibn Jabal Fund foreach sentence spoken, husbands from their own pockets andwives from their own. In general, we want to help each other to learn our din here, not just keep each other company in a“foreigner ghetto.” Zahid al-Kawthari notes in his M a q a l a tthat Ahl al-Suffa, those who stayed in the early mosque atMedina, were not mere devotees, but part of a deliberate andcontinuous educational effort on the part of the Prophet (Allahbless him and give him peace) to have as many people as pos-sible memorize the Qur’an to be able to return and teach theirpeople.

Ta j w i d

Every visitor to the neighborhood is required to get a writteni j a z a (certificate of mastery) before they leave from our t a j w i dteachers certifying the correctness of their Fatiha, which theyshould do as soon as possible after arriving. Everyone isstrongly recommended to work on their t a j w i d with the teachershere, who are helpful and willing to arrange lessons to suit astudent’s needs.

13

b e n e f i t i n g

Fiqh and ‘Aqida

At present, there are normally two weekly lessons in Shafi‘ifi q h given in Arabic, and one weekly lesson in ‘ a q i d a , also inArabic. Lessons in Shafi‘i fi q h in English will begin by nextmonth, Allah willing. There are also two weekly lessons inHanafi fi q h in English, though we do not yet have Hanafi fi q hlessons in Arabic.

Ta s a w w u f

Most people come here for s u l u k (spiritual progress) in thetariqa, which means spending time with and benefiting from thesheikh. In the mornings after f a j r (dawn prayer) brothers recitetheir w i rds (daily dhikrs) silently with the sheikh in the z a w i y a ,as the darkness gradually lightens to day. Sisters recite theirmorning dhikrs in their homes.

Brothers see the sheikh and each other at the five daily prayerstogether at the mosque. Anyone in need can speak to the sheikhafter any of the prayers except f a j r. We gather outside of themosque to greet each other and kiss one another’s hands afterd h u h r (noon prayer) and ‘ i s h a . Brothers and sisters come to thez a w i y a after ‘ a s r to recite Hizb al-Bahr.

On Thursday evenings, there is a h a d ra (public dhikr) fol-lowed by a lesson by the sheikh in Arabic which on Friday eve-nings he translates into English. The same happens on Saturdaynights, though the lesson is translated on Monday nights, sinceon Sunday the sheikh takes phone calls. On Tuesday eveningthere is the L a t i fi y y a dhikr and a lesson, which is given inEnglish and Arabic. It goes without saying that when one is in

14

as a rule

the same city with one’s sheikh, it is but proper a d a b to attendevery lesson.

On Friday of one week, the sheikh has private talks with indi-viduals, and on Friday of the next, there are two open forums for questions on Sufism, one for the brothers and the other forsisters, though either may take place on Wednesday eveningsinstead.

Around midnight, the sheikh usually goes for a walk to recitehis wird, and brothers sometimes join. At other times, he isworking on various projects or engaged in the ordinary demandsof life, and requests that guests respect his need for time.

Once again, if one needs to talk with the sheikh on a personalmatter, the best time is after one of the prayers, after the hadra,or by appointment with Sidi Mokrane, or for ladies, with hiswife Umm Idris, or with Umm Sahl.

We try to perform our obligatory worship in the fullest andmost perfect way, together with the sunnas that complete orcomplement it. It is also obligatory to know and to eliminate theh a ra m (unlawful) from our everyday behavior, particularly the things outlined in books p, q, r, and s of the Reliance of the Tra v e l l er.

One should also make up one’s q a d as (invalid or unperformedpast obligatory prayers). One may not talk with others unneces-sarily about them, and should not pray them in the mosque after‘ a s r. When one has finished all of them, it is a sunna of theProphet (Allah bless him and give him peace) adopted by manygreat Sufis of the past to always try to keep on wudu (ablution)and pray two ra k ‘ as each time one renews it.

15

b e n e f i t i n g

Ta h a j j u d

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) has said,“The closest the Lord is to the slave is in the final hollow of thenight, so if you can be of those who make remembrance of Allah(dhikr) at that hour, then be so” (Tahdhib al-Ti r m i d h i , 3 . 4 4 6 :3347. s). Without exaggeration, we may say that this is a majordividing line between those serious in the tariqa and those not:getting up for t a h a j j u d or “night vigil prayer” before f a j r tothank Allah Most High, tell Him one loves Him, and make Hisremembrance. Those with qadas should do them then. Thosefinished with their q a d as should pray t a h a j j u d and do dhikr.Women who are not praying at the time should also make dhikrthen. If one doesn’t learn anything else from one’s stay here,one should learn this.

i v. adab

To benefit from t a r b i y a , one must train, and the foundation ofthis training for centuries has been service to others. Visitorsshould spend their time, selves, and money to help others, tomaintain the z a w i y a and living quarters, and to promote thecommonweal—as part of their spiritual training.

Water

Visitors and residents alike should realize that Jordan is a thirstycountry, and that it is a crime to use too much water. Everyonemust be conservative in the amount of water used making w u d u .Showers should be brief, a matter of rinsing oneself, turning offthe water to soap oneself up, then quickly rinsing the soap off.

16

as a rule

Besides the ghusl (purificatory bath) strictly obligatory to lift a state of janaba (major ritual impurity), and for Friday prayer,one should not shower every day unless one smells bad. Fi-nally, it shows thoughtlessness for others to shower at timeswhen everyone needs the bathroom, such as before prayers.

When ladies wash clothes in automatic washing machines,articles that are affected with filth (najasa) should be rinsed offby hand before they are put into the washer. One shouldn’t runthe washing machine through several cycles in order to rinse out either n a j a s a or surplus soap. Water is important.

Patience

One’s outlook and background are sometimes an obstacle tospiritual progress. When we listen to the radio, for example, webanish offenders by a change of the channel. When in front ofthe computer screen, we eliminate anything unwanted with akeystroke. When buying, we decide what we want, pay for it,and get it instantly. If we don’t like it for any reason, we com-plain and take it back. We have a month to decide. Our customis solicited, our money welcome. From all of these things, andothers, frequently repeated in our lives, a demand for instantsatisfaction takes root in the soul and grows, until it generalizesitself to things it was never meant for. One of these is interper-sonal relations with other Muslims.

If years of this tend to make one go with the current, visitorshere are nevertheless expected to swim against it. The signsthat one is doing so are serving others, putting up with otherpeople’s faults, and not expecting others to put up with one’sown, all for the sake of Allah. It is an honor to be able to serve

as a rule

18

in any capacity. Sheikh al-Kurdi (Allah be well pleased withhim) has said, Man lam yakhdam yandam, “Whoever does notserve, regrets it.”

Murids should be careful about treating the local Arab neigh-bors with respect. To greet one’s brothers in the tariqa warmly,but other neighbors coldly is a slight to the manners that are due to them, and offends their feelings.

Bearing With Others

People who are critical of others are not welcome anywhere.Ignoring the faults of others and bearing with them for Allah is a central pillar of Sufism. The Prophet (Allah bless him andgive him peace) said, “Beware of thinking badly of others, forsuspicions are the most lying of words. Do not spy, or seek to find out things about others, or detest one another, but bebrothers” (B u k h a r i , 7.24: 5143. s). Sheikh ‘Abd al-Rahmanoften recites:

What you pour for others, so shall you drink,Of the wine of paradise or muddied water;

The arrow you shoot at others only hits yours e l f,You cannot outstrip its feathers .

And ‘Abdullah ibn Mu‘awiya ibn ‘Abdullah ibn Ja‘far ibn AbiTalib says, in an oft-quoted verse:

The eye of contentment is blind to every blemish,But the eye of rancor ferrets out mistake s ;

for which reason Ghazali says: “If you see someone who thinksbadly of others, searching out faults, realize that he is vile of

19

a d a b

heart (khabith fi al-batin). A true believer is free of ill feelingstowards anyone.” Our personal experience is that the peoplewho come here are people of i k h l a s (sincerity), who, if not perfect, and prone to error, are genuinely trying to improve.Whoever sees faults in everyone else is but seeing a reflection of himself. Such people should be avoided, and what they sayignored.

Murids staying together should be careful not to argue aboutpetty details, but should be somewhat soft-headed. Little com-ments often lead to big problems. When there are disagree-ments, one should make up with the person as soon as possibleand admit that one was wrong, even if one was right. TheSacred Law permits lies of this sort when needed to make upbetween people. It is easier to just be quiet in the first place.

National Origins

One cannot put oneself up by putting others down, but only by worshipping Allah, and it is absolutely h a ra m to make dero-gatory ethnic observations about individuals or countries. Tosay, “Iraqis act like such and such,” or “Egyptians have such and such an attitude,” or “Pakistanis do such and such,” or“Women from Upper Volta,” or “Moroccan children,” or who-ever it may be, unless warning someone actually travellingsomewhere of something that may harm him, is of the antics ofthe n a f s , an attempt to feel superior by telling about faults onedoes not have.

It doesn’t matter in the slightest if one thinks it is true. It isforbidden by Allah Himself in the Qur’an with the words, “Oyou who believe: let no group of men mock another: for they

20

as a rule

[those mocked] might well be better than they are. And let nogroup of women mock another, for they might well be betterthan they are” (Qur’an 49:11). And the Prophet (Allah blesshim and give him peace) told his Companions: “Allah Mightyand Majestic has rid you of the arrogance of the Period of Igno-rance and its pride in forefathers. Godfearing believer or haplesssinner: all people are the sons of Adam, and Adam was from thesoil. Let peoples cease priding themselves in men, or they willmatter less to Allah than the scarab beetle that pushes excrementabout with its nose” (A h m a d , 2.361. h). This suffices as to howmuch merit the practice has. If tempted, one should just putone’s lips together and keep them that way.

Z u h d

Z u h d or “non-attachment to worldly things” is also necessary tobenefit from one’s stay. Those who cannot do without the gym,the sauna, fast food restaurants, amusement parks, hairdressingsalons, and so forth, are worldlings, not m u r i ds , and should notcome. People can go elsewhere for these.

C l o t h i n g

The Shadhili tariqa has never had any distinctive dress, but asthe immediate ambient of one’s person, clothing has a greatpotential effect on one’s attitude and hence one’s s u l u k. We areMuslims and dervishes, and in general, should look like it. Wetry to wear clothing that is loose, Eastern, low-profile, clean, andtidy; and we try to avoid clothing that is tight, Western, loud, orscruffy. Those in our tariqa do not put on airs or wear clothesmeant to stand out. We avoid clothes with things written on

21

a d a b

them, whether “identity statement” shirts or designer-nameclothes. People who have designer clothes because they arewell made or comfortable should block out or cut off the labelsso as not to be a walking billboard.

Houses in Jordan are made of stone and concrete, and seldominsulated, so they are cold in the wintertime, even with heaters.Those visiting in winter should have a good coat, warm socks,insulated underwear, and a few pullovers and cardigans to wearin layers to keep comfortable.

L a d i e s

Modesty, decorum, and avoiding the eyes and ears of men arethe way of women with i m a n (faith) and t a q w a (godfearing-ness), and must be observed accordingly. When there are men in the z a w i y a , ladies in the women’s section must speak in whis-pers, without voice. When the men have gone to ‘isha prayerbetween two parts of the evening lesson, and some ladies arepraying there in the z a w i y a and some are not, those who are notpraying must not talk with each other, but should be engaged in dhikr. It is unlawful to disturb someone at prayer with un-necessary noise. Ladies should greet each other in the street by merely shaking hands and saying Salams.

At home, out of sight of men, ladies should not wear Westernor tight clothing, such as t-shirts and jeans, like k a fi r (unbe-lieving) women, but something chaste and comfortable such asa long dress or s h a l w a r- k a m e e z (Pakistani long shirt and baggytrousers). Clothing that shows the form of the body is unbecom-ing of a Muslim woman, and unlawful in front of non-m a h ra mmen. It is traditional and preferable, though not obligatory, for

22

as a rule

them to wear a light scarf over their heads at home. These sug-gestions apply not only to single ladies staying in the guest-house, but to married ladies as well, who however may wearwhatever pleases their husbands. If ladies here go out in thestreet for anything, they must wear full traditional Islamic femi-nine attire including a n i q a b or face veil and socks. Women whomust work, and cannot wear a niqab on the job, are excusedfrom doing so while at work. Women’s j i l b abs or “outer dres-ses” should not be of bright colors, or floral prints, but of a plain,single color, like a light gray, or dark colors, which are better.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) has told usthat a woman who wears scent for men to smell is like someonewho fornicates: it is h a ra m and will not be tolerated, as also witheye makeup outside the home. If ko h l (black antimony eye-liner) is used, it must be washed off before going out, or one’seyes covered with a veil.

Ladies by themselves may not ride in taxis after sunset.Ladies who don’t speak Arabic well and who are new to thecountry may not go around in a taxi even during the daytimealone until they become familiar with the routes to places andhow things work here.

Umm Sahl is busy day and night serving the m u r ids , andunmarried ladies should try to help her in whatever way theycan, but especially in group food preparation and cleanup.Married ladies should instead serve their husbands and families.Umm Sahl is not to be sought out by those with needs anytimebefore Hizb al-Bahr or after 11:30 at night.

Disrespect towards Umm Sahl is disrespect towards thesheikh, and will not be tolerated. He has commissioned her to

23

a d a b

coordinate the rents, tenants, and use of the housing and otherfacilities, and she is also in charge of all mundane, non-s u l u kmatters relating to the ladies, who have no need to return to thesheikh about her decisions on such things, since they are alreadythe sheikh’s decisions by prior authorization.

G e n t l e m e n

Modesty and decorum are also the rules for men. They are ex-pected to set the Islamic standard, both in ordinary fi q h matterssuch as praying the five prescribed prayers at the mosque withthe group, and in matters of character. Friendliness towardsother Muslims, presence of heart with Allah, inner peace, dhikr,and dignity: these are the marks of a Muslim man. They shouldbe grateful to Allah for being here, and be happy to serve, forthey are being served while here.

At home, in their housing or apartment, men may wear short-sleeved clothing and go bareheaded. When going out, whetherto the store, a lesson, dhikr, h a d ra , and so forth, one shouldalways cover one’s head and wear something long-sleeved, andpreferably recognizably Islamic, such as Indo-Pak s h a l w a r-k a m e e z ; wide Turkish s h a l v a r trousers and shirt; an Arab q a m i s(known in various countries as a t h a w b, g a l l a b i y y a, or d i s h -d a s h a), under which light cotton trousers and a t-shirt must beworn to ensure that nothing shows through; or a Malaysians a ro n g, which must not be too short, and shirt. Otherwise, onemay simply wear loose trousers and a long shirt.

Again, if one works here, and one’s professional appearanceat work demands wearing Western clothing, one may do so,since earning a living is obligatory, while wearing sunna clothes

24

as a rule

but expresses our love for Islam and the Prophet (Allah blesshim and give him peace), and Allah knows that we would wearthem if we could.

Sometimes m u r i ds ask if they should wear a turban. They areusually told that if one has not missed a single obligatory prayerfor the last 120 days, one may wear a turban: otherwise, there is pretence in it.

As for perfumes, much of what is sold and worn today byreligious Muslim men is cheap, chemical, and stinks. Courtesyto others entails using only high-quality, alcohol-free scentssuch as rose, or ‘ o u d , or musk. If one does not have the moneyfor good perfume, it is better not to use any. If one wears per-fume, it should be light, and put on towards the afternoon orevening. It goes without saying that one has to bathe occasion-ally to not offend angels, or other people.

Men should not hang out together in the street to talk, whichannoys neighbors, and embarrasses ladies who need to walkpast. If one needs to stand and talk, one may do so in the court-yard of the men’s guesthouse, or the mosque, or the courtyard of the zawiya. When waiting at night to walk with the sheikh, one should wait down past the corner of the wall at the end of the street.

Married Couples

Married couples should observe Islamic a d a b and the norms of Arab society. It is very bad taste to show affection in public.This means no handholding, laughing together, playing about in the street, calling each other’s names affectionately, walk-ing slowly together in the street, and so forth.

25

a d a b

as a rule

Couples in separate lodgings due to unavailability of marriedhousing are requested not to sit in public together, but rather to simply settle their business together quickly and discreetly.The neighbors find it very offensive to see unreligious, muchless religious, couples basking in each other’s company, andhave several times complained.

Children

Children must be well behaved and it is the responsibility oftheir parents to ensure that they do not run riot and wreak havoc.This doesn’t mean that they cannot play, but they are not per-mitted to annoy neighbors or be destructive. Children mayattend Hizb al-Bahr each day, and a little noise and shufflingwill be accepted from them. But during teaching sessions, nonoise or disturbances are allowed, and in such circumstancesmothers with restive children can follow the lesson from abovethe z a w i y a at Umm Sahl’s house, where a speaker system hasbeen set up.

L e s s o n s f o r M o t h e rs w i t h C h i l d re n

The sheikh has instructed Umm Sahl to reproduce the condi-tions found in the zawiya as closely as possible. This meansthat mothers have to mind their own children. If children are soactive that some mothers need to stay home by turns to baby-siteach other’s children to allow other mothers to attend lessons,they can agree as to which of them will attend which lessons,and those at home may take tapes to follow the lessons they donot attend.

As in the zawiya, no conversation between the ladies is

26

27

a d a b

permitted during lessons, and water alone is provided at thelessons, unless Umm Sahl happens to be making tea for her-self or others. Finally, all mothers are asked to please depart forhome within ten minutes of the end of the lesson.

Social Visits to Others

When anyone comes to one’s door, the a d a b of Islam is invitethem in unless they are in an obvious hurry to go, and everyonewho comes in and sits down should be offered some food ordrink. One should not ask, but just put it out.

Visitors to the neighborhood should occupy themselves withimproving their minds during the day even when there are noclasses. Ladies visiting married or single sisters should keep inmind that long or frequent social visits are often inconvenientand cause disruptions both for married sisters in the task ofrunning their homes and looking after their children, and forsingle sisters in their purpose of learning and worship for whichthey have specifically come here. Sisters who are burdened byfrequent socializing are afraid to say anything out of politeness.Visitors are firmly requested to observe reasonable limits andgood taste. The same considerations apply to men.

Those who come here should not visit those with apartmentsin order to use their telephone, or their internet connection toaccess their E-mail, but should go to one of the local internetcafes and the phone booths that offer these facilities. Even ifvisitors offer to pay, such interruptions affect residents’ workand daily routine, and it is inconvenient to have people use one’shome as a phone booth. The same may be said of sisters usingthe bathroom of apartments near the z a w i y a because they do

as a rule

28

not want to walk to the guesthouse. A Sufi does not impose on others.

v. money

The way of Abul Hasan Shadhili was to train disciples whilethey were at work in the world making a living. This is the basisof our way, and time off from work is the exception. The sheikhworks for a living writing and translating. His wife buys andsells trade goods. Her first sheikh, Hajji Baba, worked in his grocery store until the time of his death. Sheikh ‘Abd al-Rahman al-Shaghouri has worked all of his life; first as aweaver, then as a foreman at a textiles plant, and finally as ateacher of tenets of faith (‘aqida) at a shari‘a school, until nolonger able to work, well into his eighties. Our sheikh in Shafi‘ifiqh, the late ‘Abd al-Wakil al-Durubi (Allah have mercy onhim) traded in coffee, books, and other things, and later printedand sold books while working as the imam of a mosque. SheikhMuhammad al-Hashimi first worked repairing shoes, and thenas a night watchman. Sheikh al-‘Alawi also cobbled shoes. TheProphet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “No one hasever eaten better food than to eat from the work of his ownhands: Allah’s prophet David (upon whom be peace) used to eatfrom the work of his own hands” (B u k h a r i , 3.74: 2072. s), andhe also said, “For one of you to gather a bundle of firewood on his back is better for him than to ask somebody for moneywho may give to him or refuse him” (ibid., 149: 2374. s).

The Heart

Imam Ghazali tells us that ‘ i ff a , meaning “continence,” or“self-sufficiency,” or “self-respect” is a fundamental part of the

human soul, without which it becomes spiritually and psy-chologically unbalanced. Holding on stingily to what one has,dependence on handouts, eyeing others’money, having to ask,being beholden to them, incurring debts—all of these vitiateone’s ‘ i ff a . To prevent this, the following guidelines should beobserved:

G e n e ro s i t y

If one intends to stay three months or longer, one should pay offall one’s debts before coming. All visitors, for a long or shorttime, must be completely financially independent for as long as they wish to stay. This means they have sufficient funds toboth cover their own food, rent, and other expenses, and to beopen-handed with others. At this writing single people shouldhave about 250 U.S. dollars per month, and men with familiesabout 600 dollars per month. Because Sufism is generosity, 10to 20 percent of this amount should be allocated in one’s mind,ahead of time, to be spent on other people.

One should not be like some visitors with a “world tour” men-tality, who have saved up some money and now intend to spendas little on themselves each day as possible, and nothing at all on anyone else, in order to prolong their stay. This defeats thewhole reason for being here. The soul inevitably wilts fromcheapness and fear of poverty, even if temporary. The Prophet(Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah is generous,and loves generosity and lofty character traits, and loathes paltryand base ones” (H a k i m , 1.48. s).

In the tariqa, for example, we do not just take out our food andeat it in front of others. It is simply un-Islamic not to ask them

29

m o n e y

to join in, even if sure they will not accept. When one eats in a place such as the guesthouse, everyone around should be in-vited, and only when people refuse a third and fourth timeshould one eat without them. On the other hand, if one consis-tently turns up at the time others put out food, not merely out of chance, but intentionally, in order to eat their food and avoidfeeding anyone else one’s own, one is a s p o n ge, and eventhough good Muslims will put up with one patiently out of noble character, the ulema tell us that this is not h a l a l , for onecannot take others’ property with “the sword of embarrass-ment.” To do so is very ugly and very wrong. Of both the skin-flint and the sponge, the sheikhs of the path say, “The ugliest of the ugly is the stingy Sufi”—as Sheikh ‘Abd al-Rahmanexplains: “because he is not a Sufi at all.” Whenever one findsone’s n a f s cringing at having to spend on others, or wishing they would free one of the expense of spending on either oneselfor them—one should realize that one is spiritually ill, and that it is time to make m u j a h a d a to get well by spending on others.Those advanced in the spiritual path are the first to feed others,to pay for them, to serve them: those lagging behind in thespiritual path wait to be fed, paid for, and served.

All contracts and serious financial transactions should bewitnessed, written down, and specific and clear in their terms.Every single point that is possible to disagree upon should bespelled out and decided by both parties in advance. If one needshelp with a sample contract valid in Sacred Law, one can askSidi Mostafa Azzam or Sidi Faraz.

When one sees beggars downtown or in front of the mosque,be they gypsies, professionals, the children of either, or others,

30

as a rule

one may choose to give to them or not. In the Hanafi school it is offensive to give to professional beggars. Visitors should not,however, under any circumstances give anything to beggars whocome to the door, because this will make the neighborhood atarget for armies of mendicants anxious to take advantage offoreigners.

One can give s a d a q a or “voluntary charity” as well as zakat to the community chests in many mosques, such as Abu Quraright across the main University Road below us, which distri-butes monthly charity to genuinely needy families, and this iswhat should be said to beggars who come to the door, “Go to the charitable association (al-jam‘iyya al-khayriyya).” Givings a d a q a is among the best ways of curing illnesses and ensuringthat one’s d u ‘ as are accepted.

Loans

Loaning money to others is recommended by the sunna,although the sunna discourages borrowing it from them. Fewthings cause as much trouble as money. Before loaning moneyto someone, one should first be certain that one is doing it forAllah, second, that one does not really need the money back, andthird, that one’s heart will stay the same towards the person evenif he doesn’t pay it back. If any of these is not the case, it isunwise to loan money.

Visitors, those staying less than three months, may not loanmoney to anyone, m u r i d or non-m u r i d , without first consultingthe sheikh or Umm Sahl.

Residents, those staying longer than three months, may loanup to fifty dinars to those with whom they have established

31

m o n e y

relationships, under the above conditions. Any second loan, orfor more than fifty dinars, must be set down in writing withwitnesses.

vi . eat i n g

We prefer that people cook their own food, and only eat out onspecial occasions, at such food places as those in the neigh-borhood, Dhul Kifl’s Malaysian restaurant near the university,or the ordinary Arab restaurants in town. As a general rule fortariqa members, when one is travelling there is more excuse foreating at restaurants, and when not travelling there is less. Thefood one eats affects one’s spiritual state, and who prepares itmatters. It is related in hadith that the Black Stone was at firstwhite, and was blackened by the touch of idolaters (mushrikin).To eat food prepared by those who believe in Allah and the LastDay, who pray, and who make dhikr is simply more beneficial to one’s state than that which is not.

One may drink coffee when it is served by one’s host, butdrinking it on a regular basis is not recommended by oursheikhs. They have no reservations about tea.

Of paramount importance to Middle East travellers is foodhygiene. Diarrhea loves to hit a moving target. Unless one wasborn in the third world, has lived here a while, or has a strongstomach, one should avoid anything raw (yes, salads) that doesnot come off a tree, and restrict oneself to well-cooked food.Falafil, for example, is typically undercooked (and bacteria-laden) in the middle. Commercial milk products in Jordan arewell inspected and safe. Bottled water is the traveller’s best

32

as a rule

drink. If Western groceries are desired, one can get them across town at C-Town. No one should buy at the local Safe-way because it sells pork and alcohol.

American and Western franchise-type fast food restaurantslike McDonald’s are now here, and in view of their detriment tosociety, the environment, the economy, and personal health—aside from the n a j a s a of some of the food ingredients and theeffect on the r u h of eating food prepared by irreligious peopleaping the West—there is no doubt about the offensiveness orunlawfulness of eating there. People with taqwa and din, letalone a sheikh and tariqa, should never eat from such places.Read about them in Eric Schlosser’s Fa s t Fo o d N a t i o n .

vii. housing

The places we have are limited in number, the visitors are some-times many, and all the available places go to the first people to ask for them. Visitors planning to come should give notice tous by fax:

(1) at least a week ahead of time if they want to stay at themen’s or ladies’guesthouse;

(2) at least two weeks ahead if they want a suite or mar-ried couples’accommodations during the non-summermonths; and

(3) up to six months ahead, but in any case two or three, if they want a suite or married accommodation in thesummer months.

To help defray expenses, people in the guesthouses staying

34

as a rule

less than a month are asked to contribute 2 dinars (about 3 dollars) a night, and 3 dinars for married couple’s accom-modations. Apartments that belong to the z a w i y a are either 4 or 5 dinars a night, according to the size of the apartment.

The accommodations that belong to the z a w i y a’s facilities are all that we have available, and visitors unsatisfied with thestandards may make their own arrangements, unless they are alady without a m a h ram, i n which circumstances they shouldmake their case to Umm Sahl, and alternative arrangements will be looked into. This is to ensure that all women withoutmahrams are in a safe and protected environment. They maynot act on their own initiative without consultation and permis-sion. All in all, it should be kept in mind that living standards in Jordan and the financial capacity of the z a w i y a fund will notreproduce the same level of housing as in the West. Visitorshave to be prepared to rough it a little and forego whining andcomplaining if they want to be here. Furnished apartmentsavailable in the neighborhood go for an average of 10.50 dinars a night or 200 a month.

Adab in the Guesthouse

In general, the a d a b sought from everyone, in the guesthouse or out, consists in being nicer to others than one has to; not byjust sharing the work and expenses, but by making a pleasantand upbeat atmosphere by kindness and affability. A cheerfulsmile, without artificiality, is the sunna of the Prophet (Allahbless him and give him peace).

Men staying at the guesthouse should carry their money onthem or give it to Sidi Faraz to keep for them. They should be

h o u s i n g

35

careful about leaving valuable belongings such as laptop com-puters unattended, especially at times when the guesthouse isempty.

It is obligatory for all male guests to listen to and follow theinstructions of Sidi ‘Ala', the supervisor of the men’s guest-house, as is obligatory for all ladies with Sister Firdaws, thesupervisor of the women’s.

Lazy and selfish people are not welcome, and everyone mustdo their part to keep the facilities neat and clean. Houseclean-ing, meal preparation, and cleanup should be distributed byroster to all persons without exception. People who like to dothe same thing day after day can trade duty slots with others ifwilling to trade. Blankets have to folded up and squared awaybefore noon. All personal effects are to be either kept on one’sperson or stored in one’s luggage or a cardboard box beside it.This includes one’s personal toiletry articles such as tooth-brushes, vitamins, and the like, as well as clothes, and all otherpersonal property. Not a speck of it should be anywhere aroundthe house. The guesthouses have to be shipshape.

The dishes, kitchen, stove, and kitchen floor must be cleanedup after each meal, and completely squared away before night.Old food and dirty dishes draw jinn, and are not acceptable.When Umm Sahl sends food to feed a group of guests or anyoneelse, the pots and all accompanying dishes and utensils must be washed and returned immediately afterwards.

The bathroom must be kept clean at all times. The propane cylinders in the kitchen, and for the water heater,

and in the room heaters (in wintertime) must be replaced as soon as they are finished. One runs out to the street when the gas

36

as a rule

truck drives by (known by its jingle), gives them the empty and 2.40 dinars, and then installs the new cylinder. Rubbish can be put in the plastic bags one gets from shopping, and mustbe taken out every night to the nearest rubbish collection pile.

Windows should be kept open when weather permits, to air the place out. The guesthouses should be vacuumed after the noon prayer every Monday and Thursday, and wheneverneeded. They are subject to unannounced inspections by UmmSahl, and if they are dirty and unseemly, they will be closeddown and everyone will be turned out for twenty-four hours andcan pay for a hotel.

Whoever enters the door of the guesthouse or any otherdomicile from the outside should say Salams and d h i k r, so theDevil does not enter the house.

The outside courtyard is for socializing, relaxing, reading,and praying. The gate to the street is kept closed. The courtyardand chairs should be washed every few days. If there is anyproblem, large or small, with the neighbors, visitors should notdiscuss it with them, but tell the supervisor immediately.

There are no conversations after midnight in the guesthouse:there is only peace and quiet. If two men have to talk, they gooutside for a walk. Late night conversations are discouraged by Sacred Law, and they make difficult t a h a j j u d and d h i k r inthe time before dawn, when the b a ra k a is greatest.

B a t h ro o m s

Illiterates are not permitted to use the toilets. Everyone whowants to use them must read and understand the following:Toilets in Jordan, whether eastern or western, plug up when

37

h o u s i n g

toilet paper is put into them. It is forbidden to put anything inthem that one has not eaten. In an eastern toilet, set in the floor,when one defecates one immediately fills and pours three jugsof water down the toilet to flush it down. If one merely urinates,a single jug is enough. One washes oneself with water afterusing the toilet, then uses the toilet paper to dry, then throws thepaper in the waste paper basket beside the toilet. Plastic bath-room sandals are washed off with water after using them, andmust be left in the bathroom: under no circumstances are theytaken out of the bathroom, lest they spread n a j a s a throughoutthe house.

Setting Up Private Housing with Other Murids

For m u r i ds who want to set up their own apartment togetheroutside the z a w i y a facilities, the normal contract for apartmentsis for an entire month, even if one does not stay the whole time. There are a few exceptions, if agreed upon in advance,and these can be looked into. No portion of rent paid in advancefor a month is refundable. None of the people sharing an apart-ment who pay in advance has any claim to a refund if they moveout early. No one may pay rent in advance together for morethan one single month unless they are a married couple.

Joint property, such as buying appliances or furnishingstogether, is forbidden (except for married couples) unless theparties jointly owning the property stipulate in writing what is tobe done with each particular item as soon as one of them leavesor for some other reason no longer shares it.

Murids living together, whether in an apartment, the guest-house, or anywhere else, must do an equal amount of work in

38

as a rule

maintaining the cleanliness of the house. They should not waituntil inequity becomes a source of ill-feeling, but set thingsdown on paper in advance, enumerating the tasks that have to bedone, and allotting each task by turns. If, as mentioned above,someone prefers to do one type of work day after day, he can doso if the others agree to trade him their own turns for it. Whenthese suggestions are followed, things are clear, and there is noneed to complain about inequity.

viii . the true murid

A true m u r i d does not have to be told to make dhikr and improvehis soul by night and by day. He already does this. And Allahalone gives success.

39

the true murid

By the [t roubles of the] A ge !Man is truly at loss

Save those who believe and do good deedsAnd urge each other to Tr u t h

And urge each other to be patient

Qur’an 1 0 3 : 1 – 5