UWM police shoot, kill suspect By David Wise News Editor and Matthew L Bellehumeur Assistant News Editor

A man was shot and killed by a University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee police officer last Monday after an erratic chase

block his exit. Bauschek attempt­ed to drive between the cars where the UWM officer was stand­ing. The officer fired seven shots into the vehicle. The 27-year-old officer who fired the shots has been on the UWM police force for three years.

"I heard gunshots, and that's

"I heard gunshots, and that's really strange, especially in Shorewood, its a relatively quiet community/'

—Shorewood resident and U W M student Lesley Edwards

that began near UWM and ended in Shorewood. The driver, Joseph Bauschek, 34, of Greenfield was pronounced dead at the scene shortly before 10 p.m.

"I was surprised that it occurred practically right outside my front door. Shorewood's a very quiet residential neighbor­hood, nothing like this ever hap­pens," said Shorewood resident and UWM anthropology student Lesley Edwards.

According to Journal Sentinel reports, the pursuit began when UWM Police attempted to stop Bauschek, who's Jeep matched the description of one from which someone was harassing students.

Bauschek drove off and hit an occupied car. Shorewood police then joined the chase. He con­tinued to flee then lost control of the vehicle and hit a tree on the 1900 block of E. Beverly. He then rammed a Shorewood police car.

Police positioned two cars to

really strange, especially in Shorewood, it's a relatively quiet community," said Edwards.

Shorewood resident Michael Mueller said "It is kind of scary, that area has a large child popu-

see POLICE page 3

These marks left on two trees in a quiet Shorewood neighborhood are the only evidence that remain at the scene where Joseph Bauschek was shot and killed by a UWM police officer after an erratic chase.

Post photo by Chris Delisle

A University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee police officer shot and killed Joseph Bauschek, (pictured to left) when he attempted to drive through a roadblock where the officer was standing.

Independent UW System favored by President Lyall

UW President Katherine LyaH

By Matthew L. Bellehumeur Assistant News Editor

In an attempt to gain more con­trol over the direction the University of Wisconsin system, UW President Katherine Lyall sug­gested the UW-System become an independent organization and cease to be under the influence of state government.

Lyall suggested Friday that the UW system should no longer be under the control of the state, but instead be its own independ­ent organization able to control its

own direction and make its own decisions. This change would help the UW System defend itself against budget cuts and other statewide problems.

In a Journal-Sentinel interview Lyall said, "Depending on the depth and permanency of the ongoing budget (crisis), restruc­turing may be the only long-term way to meet principle No. 1 - pre­serving our core mission and capacity to serve Wisconsin."

Lyall hasn't given any specifics on how this departure from the state would work, but she is con­

fident that it would positively affect the University System.

Lyall's ideas are based on sim­ilar situations that the UW Hospitals and Clinics were in. The UW Hospitals and Clinics broke away from state control a few years ago. It is now run by a 15-member board and is not affect­ed by the state budget cuts because it makes its own budget.

The suggestion was immedi­ately met with disagreement. Doyle spokesman Thad Nation told the Journal-Sentinel "The gov­ernor doesn't believe we should

be changing the basic structure of the university."

That idea was echoed by Assembly Speaker John Gard (R-Peshtigb). He told the Journal-Sentinel "that just is never going to happen. That would be a tremendous mistake."

The freedom of a university from state government control is not a new idea. Two Big Ten schools, the University of Michigan and Penn State, are both independent organizations that are not under the control of state government.

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2 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post News

NEWS BRIEFS • UWM forum to explore who benefits from failing

urban schools: The question of whether there are con­stituencies who benefit from a failing urban school district will be explored at a forum on the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Campus: On Feb. 26 at the UWM Golda Meir Library's fourth floor conference room, the UWM Department of Multicultural Affairs and the Urban League will host the forum. The event will include a panel discussion, followed by responses from a reactor panel and questions from the audience. Admission is $5, but students with school ID are free. Reservations are required. To make a reservation please call 229-3787.

• Marquette graduate named to space shuttle inves­tigation: Rear Adm. Stephen Turcotte, commander of the Naval Safety Center in Norfolk and a 1975 graduate of MU, has been named to the Interagency Investigation Board investigating the Space Shuttle Columbia disaster. Turcotte grew up in Grand Rapids, Mich, entered the NAVY ROTC at Marquette University, where he graduated with a degree in Political Science in 1975. Turcotte assumed command of the Navy Safety Center in Norfolk in January 2001. The safety center is in charge of accidental investigations for the Navy.

• February is Black History Month: UW-Milwaukee celebrates Black History Month with "Rays of Blackness: Bringing Black Perspectives to Light." Many different events are planned for the month including "Pure Black" and art exhibition at the Union Gallery. Also planned is "Organizing Organizations in Times of Crisis," a workshop on Feb. 17 from noon until 2 p.m. in the Union, room 240. On Feb. 20 from noon until 2 p.m. in the Alumni Fireside Lounge a pan­el discussion entitled "Quilting the Black-Eyed Peas" will take place. Sandra E. Jones, Assistant Director/Cultures and Communities will be the moderator and a speaker. On Feb.. 25, an event entitled "Cosmic tales of the Orisha" is sched­uled in the Alumni Fireside Lounge from 12:30 p.m. to 2 p.m.

• Bite marks found on murder victim: The man sus­pected of murdering Emily Willegal while attempting to rob her was ordered to provide teeth impressions to match with bite marks found on Willegal's body. Milwaukee County Circuit Judge John Franke ordered Kimani K. Ward to provide the impression on Thursday. Kimani K. Ward is charged with first-degree intentional homicide, armed robbery and first-degree sexual assault in Willegal's death. Willegal's body was found brutally beaten in an alley on the 2400 block of North 1st Street.

—compiled by Matthew L. Bellehumeur, Assistant News Editor

>*« Iter*

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The UWM Post is now Looking for

News Writers

Stop in our offices at Union EG80 Bring your story ideas!

Post continues tradition of excellence By David Wise News Editor

The UWM Post student news­paper won two awards for gen­eral reporting at the Wisconsin Newspaper Association confer­ence last Friday.

Staff writer Peter Schmidtke won a second place award for coverage of a student coali­tion's boycott of Taco Bell in his article "No quiero Taco Bell." The boycott was held to protest low

wages received by workers who picked tomato's used by Taco Bell. The article ran April 24, 2002.

Mackenzie Renner, the Post's current editor-in-chief, was awarded a certificate of merit for her coverage of an attempted sexual assault in the Sandburg residence halls last year. The article "UWM community looks for answers after sexual assault exposes lack of safety in Sandburg," was an in-depth look

into the assault, safety in the residence halls and the resources available to women to help them protect themselves and seek help. The article ran in the Feb. 13, 2002 issue of the Post.

The UWM Post thanks the WNA for recognizing the quali­ty work of these writers and for their dedicated support of stu­dent and professional journal­ism in Wisconsin.

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• tthe'O'" 1 drink = 12 oz. beer = 4 oz. wine = 1 oz. liquor Wf* ii_» M A j? i "axcc' o n ^a t a c o'l f c t cd to a Spring 2001 survey of randomly selected UWM students. Conducted by • w l d S Education Development Center in conjunction with Norris Health Center and the Healthy Choices Initiative.

The UWM Post Staff News & Editorial Business & Advert ising staff Writers Editor-in-Chief Mackenzie Renner Business Manager.. . . Nick Viall Al i Aust in 'Jenni fer Bert ram 'David B,ischke' . . p ... _ . , . . . . Nicholas Bragg, Brittany Candell, Nick Geiger,

News bditor David Wise Account Executives . . . Krista Gilson Jordan Goldstein, Paul Griffith, jenny Jacobson, Assistant News Editor Matthew Bellehumeur ,JU B r 0 g | e y Kristin R. Kranendonk, Aiiie Kuopus, Krista Features Editor . Charles Engel Jennv Rife Ledbetter, John L Medina, Drew Morton, Katherine Arts & Entertainment Editor. . Diego Costa Ni l les<Brian O'Shea, Mitch Rea, Brian Resop, Dustin SDorts Editor Nick Dettmann Advertising Designer. . Pat Harrington safranek, Peter schmidtke, sarasommer, Carrie _ ,. . . ,_ ,. ' . , r, , r n.- . . . . r. Toman, Sam Toman, Allison Varlerga, Nor Vang,

Editorial Editor Damian Roth Board of Directors . . . .Mackenzie Renner Valerie vidal, Nathan waiiin, Brian Williamson Production Editor Tim Zwettler Jill Brogley Drew wintermyer Photo Editor Dustin Safranek Krista Gilson „ D K _ + _ _ _ _ _ K _ r -Web Designer /Tech Support... Charles Engel Nick Viall b t a T T ™>iograpners Delivery Nick Viall Tim Zwettler Dust in S a f r a n e k 'J o h n L W a r d ' c h r , s Del,sle

The UWM Post has a circulation of 7,000 and is distributed on campus and throughout the surrounding communities. One copy free, additional copies $.75 each. The UWM Post, Inc. is a registered student organization at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee and an independent nonstock corporation. All submissions become the property of The UWM Post, Inc. Published Wednesdays during the fall and spring semesters, and at the beginning of each summer session, except for holidays and exam periods. The UWM Post is written and published by the students of UWM. They are solely responsible for its editorial policy and content. UWM is not liable for debts incurred by the publisher. The UWM Post js not an official publication of UWM.

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MAILING ADDRESS Union Box 88

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News www.uwmpost.com February 12, 2003 3

Students Sprint to By David Wise News Editor

As part of a nationwide cam­paign to encourage companies to take positive action towards conserving natural resources, University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee students sent 157 letters last Thursday to Sprint asking the company to issue its cellular phone serv­ice bills on recycled paper.

The campaign is part of an effort started by Eco Pledge, an organi­zation that targets leading com­panies in various industries and pressures them to make small changes to improve the envi­ronment.

Although Sprint already issues its long distance bills on recycled paper it doesn't do the same for its cellular bills. In a letter to Eco Pledge organ­izer Mark Lowenthal, Sprint rep­resentatives said it would be too expensive to do so. They said Sprint is exploring other options to reduce paper use for its cel­lular service. These include sending customers shorter "summary" bills instead of the bills that detail each call and making customers aware of online account management options. Because Sprint has not agreed to change its policy Eco Pledge is continuing its cam­paign.

The effort on the UWM cam­pus was organized by Erica Ness, Eco Pledge coordinator for the Wisconsin Student Public Interest Research Group (Wispirg), a non-partisan stu­dent organization that tackles environmental, consumer, and hunger and homelessness issues.

Some companies targeted by Eco Pledge include Dell, Coca Cola, Pepsi, and BP Amoco. Eco Pledge wants Dell to start a "take back" program for obsolete Dell computers so they are recycled or disposed of properly. They've asked Coca Cola and Pepsi to increase the use of recycled materials in their plastic bottles.

pressure recycle BP Amoco has been targeted due to the company's plan to drill for oil off the coast of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

In their Coca Cola campaign the group sent empty bottles to Coke with new labels that demanded the company use more recycled materials. Eco

. Pledge has decided not to boy­cott Coke because they are now

using 10 per­cent recycled plastic and are working to increase that percentage. A similar cam­

paign directed at Pepsi contin­ues because, with the excep­tion of Pepsi's "Gatorade" brand, the company uses no recycled plastic in its bottles.

Eco pledge, in coordination with other environmental groups, has had success con­vincing the office supply com­pany Staples to stop using wood from old-growth forests in the manufacture of its paper prod­ucts and other office supplies.

In addition to letter-writing campaigns, Eco Pledge members boycott some target companies, refusing to buy their products and pledging not to work for the companies until they change their policies.

"This tactic has been a very effective means of getting atten­tion. If you got hundreds or thousands of letters in your office from people that said they won't buy or work for you until you make the simple change, you would probably take it pretty seriously," said Ness.

"We will be collecting eco pledges all semester ... our goal nationwide for this is 15,000 this semester," said Ness.

Ness said the 157 letters sent from UWM during the Sprint day of action was about the same amount that students from oth­er Midwest schools have sent to Sprint.

For more information on Wispirg's Eco Pledge campaign call (414) 229-4875. To learn more about Eco Pledge visit www.ecopledge.com.

POLICE CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 lation and there are four ele­mentary schools in that area."

Two officers, the one who fired the shots and another, were placed on administrative leave after the incident, which is stan-

or others." Officers who use deadly force

are placed on administrative leave and an internal and crimi­nal investigation is initiated. The officer is required to give a blood

"It is kind of scary, that area has a large child population and there are four elementary schools in that area."

—Shorewood resident Michael Mueller

dard procedure for officers involved in shootings.

UWM police policy states that "personnel use only the minimum amount of force reasonable and necessary to arrest, apprehend or restrain" suspects.

Deadly force "shall never be resorted to until every other means of apprehension or defense has been exhausted," and only when the officer "reasonably believes that such force is nec­essary to prevent imminent death or great bodily harm to himself

or urine sample to be analyzed for evidence of alcohol or drug use.

The UWM police force has been in existence for 32 years. This is the first time a UWM police officer intentionally fired a weapon on duty.

But, according to a September 2002 Shepard Express article by Steven Potter, guns have been accidentally discharged by UWM police officers on two occasions. The most recent was 10 years ago when UWM police officer's gun

went off while he was attempt­ing to change the ammunition clip while sitting on the toilet. The bullet went through the door and struck a sink. Nearly 20 years ago a UWM police officer who was reportedly twirling a gun he brought from home shot himself in the leg. He was later fired.

Despite considerable debate over whether campus police should carry guns, 11 out of 13 UW campus police departments are authorized to carry firearms.

UWM Chancellor Nancy Zimpher said "UW-Milwaukee wel­comes a full and open investiga­tion of this incident; we remain committed to ensuring a safe and secure environment for our cam­pus."

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CAMPUS VIEWS How effective are the UWM police in keeping the campus safe?

"I noticed a lot of security on campus last year. I haven't seen a lot of security around lately."

Adam Himebauch

"I have always disagreed with them having guns. That is just nuts."

Joe Alvarado

"They could do a better job. There are many dealers and people running around drunk. That is not very safe."

Katie Slowey

"On weeknights I see the police around every 10-20 minutes. I feel safe. On weekends there is always a police officer at the dorms." Erica Lightle

"I feel pretty safe. I haven't been shot, anyway."

Dave Kriesel

m

4 February 12,2003 The UWM Post Features

SOS: Save Our Saad UWM alumnus searches for asylum from United States government By Krista Ledbetter Staff Writer

Whether it's walking down the familiar halls of the Union at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee or helping a friend pick out a kitten at the Humane Society, Saad Akbar Kahn is "our ray of sunshine," one friend described.

Kahn is an alumnus of UWM, with a degree in International Studies, as well as a former writer and technology support person for the UWM Post. He has a face and a smile that won't slip from your mind when he walks away. So why is the United States gov­ernment working so adamantly to make him leave the country?

What people probably won't tell you right off the bat is that Saad Akbar Khan is a Muslim. Not only is he Muslim, but he is also openly gay. What's the problem with this? Unless you live in Pakistan or are a member of the United States government, most likely there is nothing wrong. But apparently in Saad's case, there's an exception.

A native from Pakistan, Saad was the son of a diplomatic father and grew up all around the world, living in Pakistan for about two years. He came to the United States on a student visa, which allowed him to stay in America as long as he was a full-time stu­dent. After graduation from UWM in 2001, he was allowed optical practical training (OPT), which gave Saad the opportunity to apply his educational knowledge to a job for a period of 12 months.

Saad received a job at the Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgend er (LGBT) Community Center in Milwaukee, where he currently works as their Outvote Organizer. This position gives Saad the chance to get the vote out in Wisconsin's LGBT community. He does so by educating voters on how and where to vote as well as providing guides for issue-based education on candi­dates. But Saad's OPT expired on Oct. 4, which is where his prob­lem began.

Following a normal procedure of applying for a work visa that would allow Saad to continue living in America while main­taining a job, he assumed every­thing would fall into place as it had for many others. But a work visa requires that a person's occu­pation is that of a professional level, needing greater knowledge, specialized training or at least a bachelor's degree. Saad's position at LGBT, although crucial and accomplished, doesn't meet those standards in the govern­ment's eyes and his application was denied in mid-December; hence the reason our government wants to deport him.

Which in itself lays another major problem: homosexuality is illegal in Pakistan. If sent back to Pakistan, this "offense" would result in imprisonment and, in extreme cases, execution.

Saad is currently seeking polit-.

Saad Akbar Khan

ical asylum, which so far has required proof that he was gay as well as proof that he would be harmed if returned to Pakistan. His legal fees have already exceeded $10,000.

I met Saad for the first time while he was cheerfully visit­ing with old friends and co-workers at the Post's office in the Union. I was astonished and inspired by the con­tagious positive atti­tude he emitted, considering his cur­rent situation. But this radiance is the result of tremen­dous love and sup­port from his peers.

Around Christ­mastime, shortly after he was informed of his visa denial, concerned friends brain-stormed ideas on how they might help out Saad. Upon real­izing that they knew a ton of people with talent, such as Tae Kwon Do experi­ence, they came up with the idea for a silent auction as a fundraiser for Saad. They named it S.O.S., or "Save Our Saad."

The auction, being held on Wednesday, Feb. 12 at 6:30 p.m., is auctioning off goods and serv­ices, including everything from Tae Kwon Do classes, income tax service and beauty gift certifi­cates to DVD players.

Daniel Klingler organizes "The Vagina Monologues," which will be performed on campus Feb. 13 and 14. In an attempt to raise money for Saad's cause, Klingler asked the women in the play if they'd be willing to hold a dress performance on Feb. 12, follow­ing the silent auction. The idea was agreed upon. Although the event is free, donations of any amount are welcome and would go to support Saad.

In just a few weeks Saad's sto­ry has spread tremendously. Flyers in support of S.O.S.'s silent auction and "The Vagina Monologues" performance have been circulating rapidly. Emails from across the nation have streamed in, all addressing con­cern for Saad, as well as for Muslims across U.S. facing the same problem.

Donations for the auction have been offered from every corner, even from people who've never personally met Saad. Andrea, a friend who's been behind the inner workings of the silent auc­tion, actually received an offer while visiting the dentist. Cir­cumstances forced her to reschedule the appointment and Feb. 12 was her first option. "I told them I couldn't schedule for that day because I was involved

Submitted photo

in a fundraising event," Andrea explained. After describing the event to the secretary, it turned out that another dentist in the practice also did work for the Aids Resource Center of Wisconsin and had once donat­ed a $400 cosmetic bleaching for an event. "I was told that more than likely he would offer to do it again. It's great that so many people are willing to help out."

Most appreciative of the over­whelming support is Saad. This pulling together of supporters is what gives him the ability to sit with me at a smoky booth in the Gasthaus, talking and relaxing, even being able to laugh, although his situation would cause someone with a much weaker persona to crumble. He hopes that people will realize the positive outcome that has come of his situation.

"I'm in trouble with the law here for being Muslim, and I'll be in trouble with the law if I return to Pakistan for being gay," Saad says. "It's like if they were to suddenly make it illegal to be a woman. You think to yourself, what did I do? What can I do? You can't help it."

Saad's currently trapped in a no-win situation with the laws of both countries, in which we all hope he prevails, but in the meantime the constant support keeps him strong and his kind-hearted attitude keeps the sup­port pouring in. He proves to be that sunshine in the lives of those who know him. As Andrea put best near the end of a conversa­tion I had with her, "Saad is a prime example of you reap what you sell."

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6 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Features

Your guide to the bars of the Brew City.

Sorry kids, no bar review this time. My weekly drinking quota was met this past week in the form of a hotel party with fellow editors, rendering myself unable to even think of taking a sip of the suds for a while. Where's the fun in writing a bar review if I'm not going to be truly partaking In the fun? I'd feel like a tourist! I promise next week a tradi­tional review will happen.

If it's too loud, does that mean I'm too old? By Chuck Engel Features Editor

When I'm going out to a bar, the last thing I want to do is shout to my friends above loud pre­recorded music. Furthermore, what is the fun of going some­where public to stare at a televi­sion?

To me, bars are about social­izing. I go out to see friends, meet people and have conversa­tions. Pool tables, darts, foos-ball and other activities that encourage socializing can add a

Alcohol although

categorized as a

depressant, is quite

a social drug.

lot to a bar, so long as one can have an audible discussion with the people they're playing with.

Going into a bar that's draw is watching television is no fun either. Ever walk into a bar with all the patrons lined up at the bar, staring at a single television in tandem? I sometimes wonder if those people are breathing.

If I want to listen to loud music or watch television while enjoying an adult beverage, I'll save myself the money and sit at home with, a beer. That way, I can listen to or watch whatev­er I want, and I don't have to worry about how to get home after a few drinks.

Dance clubs and live concerts

are two exceptions to the loud music rule, because they are separate from a typical bar expe­rience. Drinking is not a factor in whether or not I go to a con­cert. When I go to a concert, I go to see the bands and enjoy the music. Often times, I will express my enjoyment for the music by dancing. Sometimes I'll even go to a dance club with friends. And dancing, although it does not involve speaking, is highly social and fun.

A bar needs to have a certain personality, and that goes for dance clubs too. I like bars that represent their owners' tastes, rather than aim to a kind of mar­ket. The quickest way to figure out what kind of person owns a bar is to look at the selections in the jukebox.

Places like the Landmark, how­ever, go out of their way to cater so broadly that all sense of what kind of person owns the place is lost in the ambiguity. With that

, said, I'd rather find the dingiest West Allis bar and sit there for a drink while I take in the atmos­phere than pay a cover to be around "cool" people at a sterile place like Park Bar.

Drinking should be kept as a - social practice. Alcohol, although

categorized as a depressant, is quite a social drug. Factor in too many socio-defeating distrac­tions, and it becomes a really depressing depressant. The loud­er the music is in our public drinking facilities, the more our society needs other drugs, like ecstasy. Say no to drugs, and keep people off of drugs by turn­ing down the music.

The UWM Post is now looking for

Features Writers

Stop in our offices at Union EG80 Bring your story ideas!

V vc to listen... -/: a woman to discover she is feeling

not to decide

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Features www.uwmpost.com February 12, 2003 7

Disclaimer: The following is a sordid, candid, stranded and disbanded no-holds-barred disser­tation on what it means to be the guy who braves rain, snow, sleet, really bright sunshine that glares off the dirty windshield If you don't wash it, and the most haunting Milwaukee ghetto, to satisfy you, the UWM Post reader, and your late-night munchies, Now read on, if you dare, and taste the greasy pool of cheese that Is...

CONFESSIONS

PIZZA BOY By Nato Disgusting Staff Writer

That's right, I am The Pizza Boy. Nobody comes close. No­body else can compete. I am the one with the highest delivery quantity at the end of the work­ing day. I am the one who knows where Glover Street is and why it was named as such. I am the

Hotel delivery: the one where somebody orders, you take the food up to the room, you knock, no answer, you knock again, no answer, you knock and say "ANY­ONE IN THERE?," you hear, "just a moment!" and soon you're treat­ed to the site of a grossly over­weight and flabby "Tattoo Guy" answering the door while a hid­den female bleats, "Where's my

I am here to explain to you why this job is not only a crazy detour off of the "1-94 of your Straight Life" onto some kind of twisty switchback of a "US-41 Deviant Way."

one who never forgets YOUR two-liter of orange soda. And I am here to explain to you why this job is not only a crazy detour off of the "1-94 of your Straight Life" onto some kind of twisty switch­back of a "US-41 Deviant Way," but also to tell you some of the great­est and stupidest stories of my many years working for a local Pizza-slash-Fried Etcetera deliv­ery establishment.

Well, where to begin? I mean, I haven't written anything for this rag since it was stopping the moonlight flow of a previous editor—where can I possibly approach the angle of "Hey, Nato, write about funny and scary piz­za delivery experiences for the UWM Post" at this point in my life?

St. Valentine

Oh, right, VALENTINE'S DAY. It's right around the bend,

you little lovebirds. Uncle Pappy Nato is here to tell you, you're not alone. Many people in the city of Milwaukee are out there, having their own Valentine's Day cele­brations, and requiring some wacky delivery of fried food late at night to facilitate, I don't know, small talk? How exactly does a Philly Cheesesteak do that? Does it even matter? I work every Valentine's Day, on purpose. I've been there, man, I know.

I work every Valentine's Day (unless it falls upon a weekend; obviously, I got better things to do on weekends than work). I've done the classic 23rd Floor Pfister

shake?" and "Tattoo Guy" throws the cost of the meal plus change plus a $5 bill at you so that you'll just...for...the...love...of...god... LEAVE.

Hey, all you lonely hearts, I hate to say it, but some people are only getting their kicks on Valentine's Day. In the immortal words of Sam and Dave, "don't knock it until you've tried it." It's worth $5+ to me, at least.

Coitus-lnterruptus

I have a coworker whom I will refer to Jon. One fine Valentine's Day, Jon was privy to one of the greatest moments in the life of a Pizza Boy: a coitus-interruptus delivery. That's right; Jon had his order placed by a couple of humans who had no idea that the pizza place would have their order ready, steady, going and arriving during the random num­ber of minutes during which male and female would be doing the "Mystery Dance."

Jon knocked on the hotel door, and was told to, "just open the door and come in." So he did, and to his surprise, he found a cou­ple performing "The Baby-Maker." Startled and apprehensive, Jon began to back away, but the male of the species grunted, "The mon­ey's on the table. Just bring the food in and take the money!"

Ok then. A sizeable tip was included, therefore Jon was quite alright with the state of affairs, and quickly made the transac­tion.

Ah, Valentine's Day, I'm sure

that everyone reading this has had a similar experience at least once in their life.

Really? No? I guess Valentine's Day isn't all that it's cracked up to be after all. I mean, consider the following tale of woe:

Depression

I was cruising around in my ivory-white Ford Escort Station Wagon, bringing the city of Milwaukee the quantities of greasy people-filler that's re­quired these days, when lo and behold I should make a delivery to one of the most depressing people in the history of the uni­verse. A potato dumpling of a 40-something woman- is on the phone, and after several min­utes of attempts, she barely answers her apartment buzzer to let me up to bring her the fried fracas :^mmmmimm

I say to her, "Hello, it'll be $12.15." And she says, "...," because she isn't talking to me, she's on the phone.

While she handles the pay­ment for pizza-food, handing me $13 (not much of a tip, real­ly) she says into the phone, as she simultaneously sobs and acts the cheapskate, "...it's just that no man could ever find me attrac­tive and be in love with me!"

Look, reader. This is what we, the delivery folks, have to deal

I work every Valentine's Day, on purpose. with: The bitter end of human depression. The edge of gray.

The hopeless, loveless Valentine's Day of the damned. Bleak, flatland, brown, waste plains. The people who can't leave, who must order out.

Granted, based on that which you've just read, perhaps you feel that we deserve a couple slugs to the skull. And that's forgiv­able—I'm not here to throw cha­grin around like a hot potato.

I'm just saying, the Pizza Delivery Boy, he delivers to peo­ple other than you. Don't worry, but don't forget!

A drunk driver ruined something precious. Amber Apodaca.

Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Drunk.

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8 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Arts & Enter ta inment

Pussy Control UWM students to perform "The Vagina Monologues" at the Zelazo Center By Diego Costa Arts & Entertainment Editor

Apparently February is Vagina month at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. On Feb. 1, the "Drag Ball" celebrated female impersonators and over the top women-wannabes. On Feb. 11 there was the Menstruation Workshop, and the Valentine's Dance for Womyn is coming up on Feb. 15.

"The Vagina Monologues" is the latest female empowerment happening at UWM. The per­formances will take place at the Zelazo Theatre (2419 E. Kenwood Bvld.—across from UWM Student Union), on Feb. 13 and 14, Thursday and Friday, at 8 p.m.

Thfs is the third time "The Vagina Monologues" is put up at UWM. The event is produced by the UWM College Feminists, the National Organization of Women and the Women's Resource Center at UWM.

The cast of 24 women has a myriad of different colors, careers, sexual orientations and ages. Women of color, lesbians, bisexual women, raging from age 16 to 60 will give life to a ground-breaking, hilarious text that has been created a lot of buzz, criticism and controversy all over the world.

The three narrators of this year's UWM performance are L.G. Shenklin-Flowers, a diversity speaker, Kris Redish, an author and journalist, and Elane Moly, director of the Women's Fund.

Based on interviews with a diverse group of women, "The Vagina Monologues" hilariously explores the humor, pain, wis­dom, and mystery hidden in vagi­nas. The interesting fact behind the UWM production is that the director of the show is a man. Daniel Klinger has been direct­ing "The Vagina Monologues" since it was first performed at the UWM Wisconsin Room in 2000. He describes the experience as "total vagina immersion." Klinger sees the fact that a guy directs a

"feminist show" not as a contra­diction, but as a privilege.

"It's very humbling for me to have been trusted by these women," Klinger says, "In fact, they refer to me as their humble penis."

In 2000, the producers expect­ed an audience of 300 people. The estimate was beautifully incorrect; 600 people showed up. Last year, they estimated 700 people and to their surprise, 1,400 vagina enthusiasts crammed in the Wisconsin Room trying to watch the performance.

This year, there will be enough vaginas for everyone. "The Vagina Monologues" will be performed three times and Klinger expects a full house every night. That means over 2,400 people total. Here are excerpts from an inter­view with Mr. Humble Penis:

Oj Are vaginas still taboo, even on college campuses?

A: I really don't think so. There is still are a lot of misconceived notions around the vagina though; fear around sex, gender, sexual freedom. Our culture, like our republican president, still supports traditional values.

Oj Do a lot of women still not take the time to get to know their vaginas? Why?

A: You are asking a man this? I really can't speak for women. I can give you the number of a woman to call... I'm not gonna make assumptions. I do believe that there are a lot of pre-con-ceived notions about vaginas, otherwise the monologues wouldn't have been created. There are women who are very accepting of themselves and strong and courageous, but a lot of women have been victimized because of their gender.

Oj What's the importance of the text today, 2003, when talk­ing about sex and private parts doesn't seem to shock people as much? I mean, sex is everywhere, whether they bleep it out or not.

A: It ("The Vagina Monologues") speaks for itself.

Name: Daniel Klinger

Age:!! Occupation: Gay outreach

manager AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin

Zoodiac sign: Taurus Status: Single and taking

resumes

Favorite f i lm: "Steel Magnolias"

Least favorite f i lm: " Battlefield Earth" with John Travolta

Favorite Book: "Harry Potter" I to IV

One might suggest our culture is desensitized around issues of sex and gender and sexuality because of our media, MTV, movies... However, every year we put on the show we have over-doubled the amount of people. People are still curious about it and exploring these issues.

Oj Would you want to have a vagina yourself?

A: Yes, of course. I'd love to have one, because the vagina has 2,000 more nerve endings than the penis! Wouldn't you? That's double ther pieasurel

Oj No, thanks, I'll pass. The ; women in the show ask the audi­ence these three questions: If you had a vagina what would it say? What would it wear? And what would it smell like? Would you mind answering them?

A: It would probably say "I need a break." It would wear noth­ing. And it would have a cinna­mon spice, it reminds me of Xmas.

Oj Has there been any sort of repression or censorship coming from anyone regarding the event?

A: No.

Oj Really? A: Not at all.

Oj There doesn't seem to be a "Penis Monologues," or an "Anus Monologues." How come?

A: There are! Men overexer-cize their power over women. Women are so much more beau­tiful, strong in ways men can't be. They know that if they created a penis monologues, women would attack them. (But) there is "The puppetry of the penis," which takes the penis and twists it and makes it look like a dragon, using the penis as a puppet.

For more information on "The Vagina Monologues" call 229-2852. Doors will open at 7 p.m. There will be sign interpreters. Admission is free, and donations will go to local women's organi­zations.

Favorite Food: Metabolite Favorite Drink: Pineapple &

MaljbuRum Favorite thing about UWM:

The Asian Wrap in the food court

Least favoring thing about UWM: The limited parking

Favorite place at UWM: Gasthaus

Favorite place in Milwaukee: Blu in the Pfister Hotel, it's a great place for a date

Favorite thing about Milwaukee: The Art Museum

The UWM Post

The independent campus weekly newspaper of UWM

Technicolor existence I have something to confess.

A documentary I made last year got in a Black History Film Festival and I was invited to the screening. I left early from one of my classes so I could make it to the show. When I got to the movie theatre, I realized what I had already been pon­dering inside my head; every­one was black and I wasn't. Waiting in line I felt the same

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sensation I did when walking through a predominantly African-American mall in Cleveland, Ohio. "They have to go through this everyday," was all I could think of. Eventually, I'd think you'd get used to it, to not looking like most people around you do.

Race is a subject that is con­fusing for me because mine is a pastiche mess. I may look white, though I am not white. I am Latino, I guess; my grand­parents are from Portugal and Lebanon, and I was born and raised in Brazil.

And for years, I seem to have decided to bleach out the aes­thetic realness of my race (more for personal reasons than a political statement) by bleach­ing my hair twice a month, wearing blue contacts twice a week and talking as if I didn't have an accent. Sometimes, it

Race is a subject that is confusing for me because mine is

a pastiche mess.

feels like I am an old black & white film that some Hollywood studio decided to Technicolor, ruining all of its original pur­pose and beauty. But mostly, it just feels good, if I don't look for the roots of my desires.

In that movie theatre, when I was confronted with a situa­tion I usually am allowed to avoid by the way I look, not by the way I truly am, I felt nau­seous. I could almost feel the weight of years and years of sickening discrimination (and subtle, polite racism - perhaps the worst kind) on my very own shoulders.

And I walked in and there were about two white people inside; the manager and my boyfriend. I love black people and I love black music and I love black culture (possibly the only one America's got) and I love black everything. Still, there is something about being the only one in a given space that makes

you introverted and atrophies your spirit. I knew this situation didn't happen to me ail the time, but I knew it was hard for a lot of people to face an America that is colorblind in paper but full of name-calling bigotry behind closed doors, or two feet behind your back.

Right before my film start­ed, I was supposed to go up there and present it. How could I have dared to submit my film to an African-American festival? Hadn't I stolen someone else's chance? Someone who actually belonged, who actually spoke for his/her people, could have won instead of me. As these questions flooded my head like a whirlpool of self-corroding crap, I sat there with my $8.50 small popcorrr handy-and I did • not move. I remained silent and utterly embarrassed until they said: "He is not here, let's start the movie!"

I was, then, relieved and even more embarrassed, for having been so embarrassed. Wasn't I being racist by assuming black people felt like shit just because they had to deal with a white world? Wasn't I the one who had

Wasn't I a bigot by assuming it was OK to be a victim of bigotry simply because] was not one of them? no tolerance assuming it was not OK to go up there and be white/look white? Didn't I think they may face it normally, with none of my silly hang ups? Wasn't I a bigot by assuming it was OK to be a victim of big­otry simply because I was not one of them? Didn't I victimize my own selfish fears? Hadn't cinema, if anything, taught me the essence of tolerance by any chance?

So the film started and I watched it from the back of the theatre, hoping it would be over soon and feeling like a culture thief hiding from the Marcus Theatre's police squad. Before the credits I left that room, opened the theatre's door and was back into the real world, where I felt smaller and invisi­ble, because I blended with the boring frivolity of our faces, because I looked similar and usual and pale and suburban; another Adam Sandier-loving, dumb-as-fuck, shallow mallrat.

And I thought of a lesson I learned from a Bolton Hall bath­room stall, from all places. A couple weeks ago, among the cruising ads and racist remarks that littered the stall, I found a sentence that caught my atten­tion. Somebody had written "Tolerance" in whiteout. Right beside that word another per­son wrote "You want tolerance because that means a tolerance in a white world. The tolerance of the majority. How would you feel if tolerance meant all churches being Catholic, all faces being black, Spanish being the official language and you being arrested for being white on a Friday night?"

Arts & Entertainment www.uwmpost.com February 12, 2003 9

COLUMN

Logical thinking human beings vs. Assholes

Since school started a few weeks ago, I've had this inner angst that's been building up, so I thought I would unload it out on you. The thing is; I am 22

years old, and I assume that most of my readers are around this age, give or take a few years. I would say that most people of this age are well developed human beings with logical think­ing, common sense and function with a pretty good head on their

TO DO LIST

shoulders. Now, I could be wrong, but I feel as though this is an all right assumption to make.

So, from that, one could then assume that these logical beings

filled with common sense would also be courteous and respectful, right? So, why am I surrounded by ass­holes? Why is it that when I try to walk in the union, I am almost bumped into like 30 times? And why is it that I constantly get stared down like I am walking in on some­one's shower? And why is it that people think the cell

phone walk with a hamburger in one hand and a soda in another while screaming into the air is a good idea? I thought we were all logical thinking human beings.

Oh, and the thing that gets me the worst is people that walk

see COLUMN page 18

Thursday 13

The Vagina Monologues 7:30 p.m. Zelazo Theatre (2419 E. Kenwood

Bvld. — across from UWM Student Union)

229-2852 FREE

Punch-Drunk Love Starring Adam Sandler and Emily

Watson 8 p.m. UWM Union Theatre 229-4070 $4 discount, $5 general

Gasthaus Karaoke 9 p.m. UWM Gasthaus FREE

Ludacris With Disturbing that Peace

Family/Atmosphere 8 p.m. The Rave (2401 W. Wisconsin Ave.) 342-0300 $25

French'Film Festival Alias Betty - 6 p.m. — $4-$5 My Wife as an Actress - 8 p.m.

FREE 6 p.m. UWM Union Theatre

Peter Mulvey 10 p.m. Shank Hall (1434 N. Farwell) $10

Sunday, 16

Friday U

"Skin Deep" Demonstration Day 2 p.m. Milwaukee Art Museum (700 N. Art

Museum Drive) FREE with general museum

admission 224-3200 Artist Silas Kopf shows how marquetry is made and discuss­es techniques.

French Film Festival Little Brothers - 6 p.m. — FREE Alias Betty — 8 p.m. — $4, $5 UWM Union Theatre

9-Ball Doubles Tournament 2 p.m. UWM Union Recreation Center $5 entry fee, prizes awarded

The Vagina Monologues 7:30 p.m. Zelazo Theatre

French Film Festival Little Brothers — 6 p.m. — FREE Alias Betty — 8 p.m. — $4-$5 UWM Union Theatre

Acoustic/Spoken Word Open Stage Performers of all kinds The Coffee House (631 N. 19th St.) $2

Pat McCurdy 10 p.m. Shank Hall (1434 N. Farwell) 276-7288 $6

Monday 17 Black History Month Celebration Organizing Organizations in Times

of Crises Dr. Ahmed Mbalia, UWM Professor,

Africology (moderator) Noon-2 p.m. UWM Union Room 240 FREE Workshop that hopes to gener­ate dialogue and ideas that inspire effective leadership and unity.

Musical Mondays Umbrellas of Cherbourg 8 p.m. UWM Union Theatre $3 discount, $4 general

Tuesday 18

Saturday 15 Make It and Take it Workshops: Recycled Jewelry 10 a.m.- 1 p.m. Studio Arts & Craft Center at UWM $10 UWM students, $12 campus

community, $15 general public 229-5535 Create new and interesting jew­elry and ornaments from old jewelry and creative imagina­tion.

Experimental Tuesday India Song 7 p.m. UWM Union Theatre FREE Marguerite Duras' modernist masterpiece

Wednesday 19 Lola 8 p.m. UWM Union Theatre $4 discount, $5 general

Featured poet: Verity Fossette Half a Century

Half a century to smile Half a century to laugh Half a century to give way To that which is inside you

Half a century to love Half a century to cry Half a century to give way To the demons that nest In the hollows of your mind

Half a century of life Lost In an effort to find A small piece Of peace of mind

Half a century To give way to The laws that govern The universal; metaphysical Creation you call home

Half a century to think Half a century to search Half a century to reason and find Half a century To give way To the demons that nest In the darkness of your mind

Half a century to cry Half a century to bleed Half a century to realize You were part of the disease

Half a century to look

Half a century to find Half a century To kill To conquer The demons that nest In the death of you mind

Half a century of fiction Half a century of fables Half a century Of myth and mythology Of worship and belief In the living and breathing...

Half a century of wonder Half a century to journey Through chaos; catastrophe Before you can enter the unseen

Half a century of doubt Half a century to see past her Half a century to recognize Who and what matters

Half a century to God To faith and belief Half a century of preparation For my souls release

Half a century to realize To value and recognize The importance of self-sufficiency The beauty of the human mind

and body

Half a century to shut-up Half a century to wake-up Half a century to realize You wasted half a century of life...

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mflltOflRCT CIIO 8pm, Wisconsin Room (simulcast to Ballroom also)

SPECIAL PERFORMANCE FOR UWM STUDENTS,STAFF,AND FACULTY. FREE ONE TICKET WITH ID AVAILABLE AT BOOK­STORE OR LGBT RESOURCE CENTER (west end of terrace cafe)

Brought to you by the Lesbian, (jay, Bisexual, Transgender Resource Center in commemoration of its one year anniversary www.kbt.uwm.edu

IIM M

www.margafetcho.net

10 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Arts & Entertainment

Absolutely Fabulous UWM's 3rd Annual Drag Ball, "Kissy Face," is a big fat glittery hit By Diego Costa Arts & Entertainment Editor

The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee's Wisconsin Room was filled with Milwaukee's (and Chicago's) greatest drag-per­formers on Saturday, Feb. 1. The 250-person audience that filled the place actively participated in performances; donating money (by placing it on stage or stick­ing in the performer's clothes), applauding in ovation and letting themselves get wowed by the queens and kings.

The Drag Ball attracted a vari­ety of people; some came in drag, some in their usual outfitting.

All donations benefited Project Q., whose goal was to get $500 to keep their organization going, and ended up taking home $555.

One of the most climatic per­formances of the night was put up by Lady Gia, who lip-synced to Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty" and won the crowd both times she came on stage with a lot of attitude, perfect body shapes and a sexy walk that could make any woman rather envious. Another unforgettable performance came from the girls from the Moulin Rouge, when four drag queens took up the stage in sophisticat­ed flashy costumes, flawless-fit­ting wigs, a well rehearsed cho­reography and moves that would make LiV Kim's look conservative.

The Drag Ball had four differ­ent categories, including "Like a virgin," for boys who became girls for the first time, "Lover

boy," for girls who dressed like boys, "Best Pro," for those who had a lil' more experience in the drag-business, and "Show off," for spectators who wanted to go on stage and flaunt their gender uninhibitedly on a whim. For the latter category, there were peo­ple making out, shaking their booties and a never-ending line of people who were possibly too shy to dress in drag but still lusted for that crowd enthusias­tic attention.

Despite the great reception, there were a few complaints regarding the late start of the event. "The show started a little bit late, which is to be expected for any event in the gay com­munity," said LGBT Resource Center employee Nate Lewis, half-jokingly.

College is a place for learning lessons of tolerance and diversi­ty. It is fortunate that UWM, the LGBT Resource Center and the Rainbow Alliance include events such as the "Drag Ball" in their annual calendar. By dressing like the opposite gender we are not only making a statement of tol­erance but also transforming gen­der barriers and societal codes of conduct in invisible lines, if only for a night.

Boyfriend and girlfriend: swapping genders. Post photo by Diego Costa

A Drag Ball photo album

Guy or girl? No one cared! Post photo by Diego Costa

- The %#^N° UWM

is now looking for

Arts & Entertainment Writers

Stop in our offices at Union EG80 Bring your story ideas!

Post photo by Diego Costa Post photo by Diego Costa

LGBT Resource Center director Yves Lapierre Like mother, like daughter.

we're on the web:

www.uwmpost.com

Arts & Entertainment www.uwmpost.coni February 12/2003 11

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12 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Arts & Enter ta inment

music Country, alternative country Neko Case Blacklisted (Bloodshot Records)

Normally, just the word "country" is enough to scare the dollars back into my wallet, but recently, I, out on a trip to pick up new discs, came across the name of Neko Case.

Neko (no, not Nico from the 70s), has made an indelible mark in the realms of alternative coun­try, whose smallish genre is start­ing to generate some steam. Just recently, Case made a trip to Milwaukee to play at the Miramar Theatre and the reviews were good enough to probably make it into her scrapbooks. A native Virginian who now traded East coast to live in West coast Washington, has made waves wi th last year's release, "Blacklisted."

Touted as the "new Patsy Cline," Case creates cunning tunes full of mystery and depth on "Blacklisted," recalling the spirits of Cash, Cline, Loretta Lynn and Gillian Welch. Though Case is labeled as C & W, the pre­fix "alt" is added to the tag from

— Case's peppered past as a garage-punk drummer and a small stint with prog-rock band The New Pornographers.

Raised in the style of FM, Case sounds still leans more to that of

AM, peddling soft and sweet monos of a bygone era, yetnot so soft as to sink into the back­ground. Case's voice, when paired with the evident twangs and marching mil i tary-t ime drums typical of C & W, tapers and cures itself into a barely-there twang, foxed up with its gutsy ability to belt out notes, clear and true.

On the stellar track "Deep Red Bells," Case's voice contains a plaintive wail, sounding as though she s standing on her tippy-toes at the edge of the Grand Canyon, calling wi th cupped hands to the other side. Dissonant, shifting guitar switch­es cradle Case as she sings, "It

always has to come to this / the red bells ring this tragic tone / this lost side of the overpass / the daylight won' t remember that."

The rest of the album wavers between br ight spots of sunshine ("Stinging Velvet") to cloudy bits of sultriness ("Look For Me (I'll Be Around)" and "Pretty Girls"). In a way. Case plays her albums like an early Chris Isaak; drawing dark, bold lines with minor tones at once, and then shading them in wi th just-barely-pasted-on major tones. The use of steel gui­tars also wili be familiar to any­one in know of Isaak's "San Francisco Days."

The only bad side to Case's album is that some of the songs begin to meld together, as if she's singing from a dusty, old bar jukebox stuck on replay. The saving grace of this is the cover of Aretha Franklin's "Runnin'

Solaris Soundtrack, "The Best Part of the Movie"? Solaris (Score) Cliff Martinez (Trauma)

In the liner notes to the score of his f i lm "Solaris," Steven Soderbergh states that "Cliff Martinez's... score is an essential element of "Solaris." I relied on it not only to unify the film emotionally, but to impart actual narrative infor­mation... demanding that a composer help you with your storytelling is probably unfair... [however] we were both push­ing ourselves, trying things we'd never tried before."

After listening to the ambi­ent score Martinez provided, it is hard not to agree wi th Soderbergh's statement. Fol-dwing a screening of "Solaris," which is probably the most under-rated film of 2002, an audience member proclaimed that "the soundtrack was the best part of the movie." Unlike Soderbergh's statement, this is not t rue, Martinez's score accomplished its very task: to accompany the film audibly.

However, the "Solaris" score is a beautiful experience within itself and is worthy of repeated listening.

It may seem surprising that a former member of the rock band The Red Hot Chilli Peppers can compose such an incredible s o u n d t r a c k . Martinez has provided a beautiful and unique voice to every fi lm (mainly those of Soderbergh) that he has supplied a score to. From "The Limey" and "Schizopolis" to "Traffic," Solaris seems to take the best of Martinez's techniques and wind them together into a haunting and beautiful listen­ing experience.

Martinez accomplishes this mainly by providing his creative voice to the steel drum. Not normally an instrument fea­tured in popular music, Martinez gives the accompany­ing percussion instrument the main focus of his score, which creates a mysterious and strangely gorgeous sound. Intertwined with the drum's melodies, Martinez provides parts for stringed instruments, horns, and what sounds like synthesized bass. Combined with the utilization of the steel drum, Martinez's tracks all seem to have their own atmos­phere within the score to

"Solaris." One of the apexes of the

soundtrack, "Don't Blow It," seems to build the score to its climax by providing a rhythmic bass line, orchestration, and the hypnotic sustain of the steel drums. This is brought to a halt in the following track by the elongated tones of stringed instruments in a sus-penseful anti-climax. The only flaw in the score is the brisk length that it is given on the album; it is only about 40 min­utes. Watching the film, it felt as if there was at least an hour's worth of material. For a score that seems to be the 21st cen­tury's answering echo to Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey's" musical experience, 40 minutes is simply too short.

While calling Martinez's score the best part of Soderbergh's movie may be misspoken, The "Solaris" soundtrack is truly an amazing and mysterious piece that gives the listener the ambiance of space and the sorrow of lost love. Without Martinez's suc­cessful attempts at providing something original in his voice, "Solaris" the film surely would have lost something and the lis­tener of the soundtrack would be currently seeking a refund. That is not the case, however, and it is amazing at how many people I've seen looking for this score since the film arrived in theaters.

Drew Morton

Out of Fools". Although this song might be too big for her britches. Case tackles it fearless­ly, and somehow, it works, and

more—a very exceptional moment on "Blacklisted." Keep this one in mind if you're a fan of old-school C & W or if you're into

the alt-country scene and need an excuse to spend your cash on some new tunes.

Erin Wolf

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What is DEPO-PROVERA Contracept ive Injection? EHITv-iV.OVI KA Contraceptive injection is a form of birth control th.it is given as an intramuscular injection (a sho-} m (he buttock or upper s i n once every 3 months i I *' weeks). To EpnfirKja your contraceptive protection you must return for your next injection promptly at she end oi < months (13 vveel-.;;. Df.-POPROVERA contains meciroxyprogfcs.terone acetate, a chemical similar to (but not. the same as) the natural hormone progesterone, which Is produced by your cvanes during (he second half of /Our menstrual eyes'' DEPO-PROVERA acts by preventing vour egg cells from ripening, h' an ey-/. is not releasee from the ovaries during your menstrual' cycle, it cannot become feni'Ded by sperm and result in pregnancy. Df i'C-PKCJVrPA also causes changes in the iming of vour u:erus that make it less likely tor isregrianc/ to occur. How effective is DEPO-PROVfeRA Contraceptive Injection? The efficacy oi IX-.PO-PROVERA Contraceptive ireestion depends on following the recommended dotage schedule exactl. t.,ee "I low olten do I gel. my shot of DEIX5-PROVERA ContraceoUve injection?") To make sure vcu are not pregnant when YOU first net DEPO-PROVERA Contraceptive injection, vour first election must be-even O N L Y during the first 5 days o! a norma! menstrual period: O N L Y within the first S days' a; tor childbirth If not breast-fcxxilng. and. if exclusively breast feeding, O N L Y at the sixth week' after childbirth. It i- .; long-teirn injectable contraceptive when administered at 3-month (13-week; intervals. DI.K)-PRCVERA Contraceptive injection is over 99%, effective, making it one of the most reliable methods of birth control availa'ole. This means 'that ;he avei aye annua! pregnancv rate is less thai', one forever / i00 women who use DEPO-PP.OVERA. The"eiTectivenea."of most contraceptive method', depends in part on how reliably e.ich >vc;m.i:i uses the method, f he effectiveness oi DITO-PROVERA depends only on the patient returning everv 3 months (13 Ejection, Your heal'ih-care provider will help you compare DEPO-PROVERA with oil

3 weeks/ for her next sOVErsA with

ed in order to decide contraceptive methods and give you the inforrniitich you contraceptive method is the right choice for you.

The following table shows the percent of women who j o t pregnant while using different kinds of contraceptive methods. It gives both the lowest expected rate of pregnancy (the rate expected •r. women who use each method exaaly as it should be used) .ind the typical rate of pregnancy (which includes worsen who became pregnant because they forgot to use their birth control or because they did riot follow the directions exactly).

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•From Ne-i-aiar.!.* packi,*.- insert Who should not use DEPO-PROVERA Contraceptive Injection? Not all women should use DfcPO-PROVERA. You should not use DEPO-PROVERA any of the following conditions. • if you think you might be pregnant • if you ha-e any vaginal Weeding without a known reason

•'•f you have had cancer of Ifce breast • il you have had ii stroke • if you have oi have had blood dots.{phlebitis} m your legs • ii you have problems with your liver or liver disease • if you are allergic to DEPO-PROVERA fine-drex ,-pres-.-- stcrone acetate or am of its other

.ingredients). W h a t other things should I consider before using D E P O - P R O V E R A Contraceptive Injection? You will have a physical examination belore your doctor prescribes DEPO-PROVERA II ;s impoifapt to tell your health-care provider if you have any of the following; • ;t family history of breast cancer • ,m abnormal mammogram : W east x-ray), iibrocsstiv brea.:.i disease, breast nodules or lumps, or

bleedinj? fioirn /our nipples • kidney disease • irregular or scanty menstrual periods • high blood pressure • migraine: headaches • asthma • epilepsy (convulsions or seizures') • diabetes or a family history of diabetes • a history of depression • if you are takin•? any prescription or over-the-counter medications This product is intended to prevent pregnancy. It does not protect against transmission of HIV (AIDS) and other sexually transmitted diseases such as chlamydia, genital herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, and syphilis.

What if I want to become pregnant after using DEPO-PROVERA Contraceptive Injection? Because ! if PCPhOVI isA is a lor-ij-actms birth control method, it takes some-: time afferyour iast Injection .fonts effect to wear off. Based on :he results from a large study done in the United Stales, foj- -women who stop using DEPOTf<OVEf<A m onk-r to ix-come pregrianb it it: esps.'cted that iibout half of those Who become orejanant will clc so iVj about IC months after their iast injection; aboil!, two thirds of those who b'ecomt: pregnant will do so rn about 11 ii-ionfiis; iiixs'./t H>% of those who become pregnant will do so in about I'5 months; and about -)'i% of these v.-ho become pregnant «yill do so m about 18 months after their iast injection. The lenjnh of time you use DtPO-PROVf PA. has ixs e'-ecl on few ion-y it Vvd ,'ou lo-lveccnTie pre;-nar.t afto; sou stoo us-na it What are the risks of using DEPO-PROVERA Contraceptive Injection? '• irrti'iAir ^leiisiruri; oleedmsi The _':;tde effect reported most frequently by women who use DEPO-PROVERA for contracejsiion is a change in then- norma: iT«;nsti'uil cvcie IDurin;- the lirsi w.if of asiiv? DEPO-PROVERA, -you might htive one or more of the fol^owm? changes: ' inej-ular or unpredictable Weeding or spotting, dr. increase oi uin.re.^e m meu;,iruai Weeding, or no bleeding at all. Unusually heavy or continuous bleeding, however, is not atisual el'lect of DbfJ0-PP.OVE-P.A: and if thi-i l-iaprsens. you should see /our iieaHh-care provider right away With continued use of DEPO-PROVERA. bleedin,' usually decresses. ar,d mtinv women stop having Deisods completer/, in cliniol studies of Di-TO-PROVf-PA liSvi, of the ;v;;in<:-n studied reooited no nienstrual bi!?ed!-i« larnenonhea) alts;r I vear of use. and 68'-> of ths women : luciied r'epor'ted no nx-naruaf iileerfing alter '.'. year:; of use. The reason that your penods slop i., beciinse fJivPO-futGVt-iRA causes a resting stttte in your ovaries. When your ovaries do not release an egg monthly, the reguiar monthly growth of vise lining of your uterus doe;, not occur and, therefore, the Weeding 'that come; with" your riorrnal menstruation ooes not take place. When you stop using 0E?O--PKOVrPA your menstrual tic-nod wili usu.iiiy. in time, return tr; its norma! cycle.

Ust'csf IviT'O-PKC-vT-i-tAmi your bone's. 1 his could mere;

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•3 Un-yy>:;;y !•••<• g i n ; - : . / Because DEPO-PROVERA is such an effective contraceptive method, the nsk of accidental pregnancy for women who get their shots regularly .'every 3 months [13 sveeks]) is very low. VVfi'ile ti ieie have been reports of an increased risk of low bVth -weight arid neonatal infant death or other health protiiems m infants conceived close to the t-me of injection, such pregnancies are uncommon. If you think you may have become pregnant while using DEPO-PROVERA for contraception, see your heailh-care provider as soon as 'possible. .SMkrjy ftccx;,-.-:»is Some' women using DEPG-PROV?;RA Contraceptive Injection have reported severe and potentially life-threateriin; allergic reactions known as anaphylaxis any! anapiiyiactoid reactions. Symptoms include tlse sudden onset of hives or swelling and itching of the skin, breathing difficulnes. and ti drop ""i blood pressure.

6.Other pivks Women who use hormone-based contraceptives may have an increased risk oi blood clots c r stroke. Also. If a contraceptive method fails, 'there it, a posubillty that the fertitecd :>gg wiii begi.'i to develop outside of the uterus (ectopic pregnancy;. While- these events are rare, you should tell your health-care provider if you have any of the problems listed in the next section. W h a t s y m p t o m s m a y signal p rob lems whi le using D E P O - P R O V E R A Contraceptive Injection? Cail vour health care, provider immediately if any of these protiiems occur followiiv; an imection of DEPO-PROVPRA: • sharp chest pain, coughing up of Wood, or sudden shon/aess of breath (indicating a p-ossiWe clot

in the lung) • sudden severe headache or vomiting, dizziness oi Hunting, problems with your eyesight or

speech, weakness, or numbness in an arm or leg (indicating a possible stroke) • severe pain or swelling in the calf (indicating it possible ciot in the leg) • unusuaiiy heavy vaginal bleeding • severe pain or tenderness in the lower- alxiomirial area • persistent pain, pus. or Weeding ai the? injection sue W h a t are the possible side'effects of DEPO-PROVERA Contraceptive Injection? I Weight Gain "Yon may experience a weight gain while you are using DEPO-PROVERA, About two thirds of the women who used DEPO-RROVEPA in clinical trials reported a weight gain of about 5 pounds during the first year' of use. You may continue to gun weight after the'first year. Women in one large study who used Df PO-PROVI.RA lor 2 years gained an average ;ou;:i of 8.1 pounds over those 2 years, or approximately 4 pounds per year: Women who continued for 4 years gained an average soul of I 3.6 pounds over'those 4 years, or approximately go pounds per yean' Women who continued lor ft years gained an average total of 165 pounds o\tr those 6 years, or appi-oxinv.lelv ?.75 pounds |>i;r year /.Oinei Side fc$ecfs in a clinical study of over 3.900 women who used fX'PO-PRO'v'tRA for up to 7 years, some •women reported the following effects that may or ma/ not have been related to their use of DEPO-PROV[-.RA: Irregular menstrual bleeding, ametiOiitiea. headache, nervousness, abdominal cramps, di22iness, weakness cr fstigue. decreased sexual desire, leg cramps, nausea, vaginal dischiu-ge or iirrtatic.-:-., Ixeata .wellirjg and tenderness, bloaang, swtsiing of the hands or feel, backache, depression, insomnia""acne, pelvic pain, no hair growth! or excessive hair loss, rash, hot flashes, and joint pain. Other problems were reported by very few of the women in the clinical trials, but some of these could be serous. These include convulsions, jaundice, urinary tract infections..alle."f,rc reaction;, fainlmg. pn.ralvsis. osteoporosis, lack of return to fertility, deep vein thrombosis, pulmonary embolus, breast cancer; or cervical cancer if these or mv other problems occur -during vour use of DriPO-P-ROVERA discuss Ihern with your .heafth-.;are provider: Should any precaut ions be fo l lowed during use of D E P O - P R O V E R A Contraceptive Injection? i .'A;

ing tae time', usiny DEPO-PROVERA fo sotioi- 'Ou mav skjp a penoc or your rXPO-PROvfRA injections

egnant. However; if you think

onti'i periods n>.ay stop completely it you have been receiving yi •egularly everv1 > months (I 5 weeks), tnen you are probably no-that you may be pregnant, see your health- care provider. / UihevoioryTes; intc-.-ucfieris if sou are sci-:eduled for ir\y iabciratory tests, tell your healih-care pi-ovicier that you are using DEPO-PROVERA rdr contraception; Certain Wood tests are affected bv homiones ^uch as DEPiO-PROVERA.

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Although DEPO-PROVERA can be passed to the nursing irifse in the breast milk, no iiairnful effects '.'•>>;<!•. been found in these, children IDEPO-PRiDVERA does not prevent the breasts from jsixxtiicinsi milk, so it can be used by. nursing mothers, i-iov.ever to minimize the amount of DEPO-PROVERA tns.t is passed to the infam.'in the P.-st week; after on-tn, -,ou snouid wait until 6 weeks after childbirth before you start using E>EPO-ITsOvUgA for coritraceotion. How often do I get my shot of DEPO-PROVERA Contraceptive Injection? ' ihe recommenciiici ciot.e of DEPO-PROVCRA is I •>(} mg every '.', irioriih: {I i weeks; given in a single intriiinuscular injection in the buttock cr upper arm. To make sure that you are not prears-nt at the time of she: first injection, il. Is essential that the imection bs> given O N L Y during the 'ir::; 5 days of a normal menstrual period I! used ioilowing the deliver-/ of.-. child, the first injection of DEPO-PROVERA M U S T be given within 5 days after childbirth if you are not breast-feeding or 6 weeks after childbirth if you iK exclusively breast-feeding. If you wail longer than 3 months 11'.) weeks) between Injections, or lons-er than 6 weeks after- deliver-., /our heaitn-care onivicier should deieirnme that you are not pregnant before giving you vour injection of DEPO-PROVERA.

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Arts & Enter ta inment www.uwmpost.com February 12, 2003 13

film

Selfish Creatures All mothers are guilty in "Alias Betty"

The mother/daughter rela­tionship, with all its neurosis, psychosis and well-silenced trau­mas, has been subject to the scrutiny of many filmmakers. One of the most successful examples is Ingmar Bergman's "Autumn Sonata," a profound study on the selfishness of mothers and

Alias Betty directed by: Claude Miller starring: Sandrine Kiberlain

the scarred fragility of their daughters. In that 1978 film, Ingrid Bergman and Liv Ullmann portrayed hate and love as an inescapable simultaneous reality that shapes daughters, who will eventually become mothers and continue the whole neurotic cycle of motherhood.

"Alias Betty" takes a more social approach on that theme, investigating the consequences

that pathological motherly ego can lead to and how it affects individual's psyche and commu­nity.

Interweaving different stories of people from different classes and races, the French movie "Alias Betty" makes the mother the link among its characters.

Betty is a successful writer with highly depressive childhood memories, whose son dies in an accident. After the tragedy, she becomes detached from the real world and hardly notices-that her mother has kidnapped a ran­dom boy, Jose, to replace Betty's dead child. In the mean time, Jose's mother, a lower class, shop-lifting waitress, is too busy dealing with crooks and having sex with the whole neighborhood to resent the kidnapping of her son.

As Betty gets accustomed to the physical presence of someone to care for as a son, she begins to

snippets

Poetry Slam Not many people can say they have created a whole new art

form. Marc Smith can. The creator of the poetry slam, an art form that weds the eloquence of the spoken word with the excitement of the theatre, will perform at The Pabst Theater (144 E. Wells St.) on Thursday, Feb. 20, at 7:30 p.m. Also known as the "Slampapi," he will bring his ensemble of performance poets and a four piece band. People can take their poems along to the show, get up on stage and read their poetry. That intro to creative writing class must have been good for something, so, here is your chance to share your poems with other poetry enthusiasts. Tickets are $15-$25, call 286-3663 for more info.

—Diego Costa

Ladies Night Hey ladies, want to go to a place where gross, hairy men won't

hit on you and say dorky stuff like: "Are you tired because you've been running through my head all night?" Well, get your best girl­friends and go to the Womyn's Valentine Dance on Saturday, Feb. 15 at the South Shore Pavilion (2900 S. Shore Drive). The Dance starts at 8 p.m. and promises to be tons more fun than sitting at home on the couch and saying things like: "Valentine's is just a hoax so Hallmark can make money, I hate it." The night of greatness features DJ Sandy Sueser. Tickets are $8 in advance and $10 at the door. The event is sponsored by the LAMM Education Fund, for more information, call 272-9442 or email dawns@uwalumni.com.

—Brittany Candell

Musical Mondays Mondays will cease to be your most hated day of the week. The

UWM Union Theatre is brightening up Monday nights with "Musical Mondays," a program featuring eight of the most classical and provocative musicals of all time. All films will be playing at 8 p.m.

The Union Theatre managed to schedule a great variety of musi­cals which compile different genres within the musical genre, dif­ferent decades, and very different styles. From the innocent "Mary Poppins" to the raunchy "South Park," Musical Mondays have got them all. The first Musical Monday film is the ravishing classic "Les Parapluies de Cherbourg (The Umbrellas of Cherbourg)," starring French diva Catherine Deneuve in a film where every single word is sung. The film will be showing on Feb. 17.

Tickets are $3 discount, $4 general. Other films coming up in Musical Mondays:

"Mary Poppins" - Feb. 2 4 - 8 p.m. "Hairspray" - Mar. 3 — 8 p.m. "Downtown 8 1 " Mar. 10 — 8 p.m. , "West Side Story" - Mar. 1 7 - 8 p.m. "Pennies From Heaven" - Mar. 2 4 - 8 p.m. "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut" - March 3 1 - 8 p.m. "Dancer in the Dark" - April 7 - 8 p.m.

—Diego Costa

need Jose. Jose becomes the rea­son that Betty keeps her sanity. Betty's mother, who Betty has learned her neurotic behavior from, has a rare disease that makes her so emotionally unsta­ble that she tries to kill her own daughter.

The movie's social take on 21st century France portrays the upper class Parisians as immune to the implications of violation of the law. While the police (but mostly the media) desperately cover the kidnapping of a boy from the projects, the wealthy white kidnappers calmly have their afternoon tea in their condo, watching television and playing board games.

"Alias Betty" is not afraid of making timid racial commentary, even if it compromises the fluid­ity of its plot. Jose's mother has a black boyfriend, who, after the kidnapping, becomes a victim of dirty cops trying to trick him into admitting he is the kidnapper. Even though he is not far from being a criminal, he is obliged to escape from a guilt he is not close to deserving.

The mothers fn "Alias Betty" serve as a poisonous liaison con­necting the other characters. They have everything taken away from them; their sanity, their peace, their opportunities to love and be loved, and their own kids. Once they are on the verge of a nervous breakdown, they lose control over what is right or

This is a caption for the picture. Post photo

wrongy-disregarding any societal norm to satisfy their egotistic motherly needs. Perhaps mothers are selfish in their own way because, after they become mothers, everything starts to van­ish. All they created begin to draw a little further everyday. Just like beings after birth they are doomed to whither and will fight for survival as hard as they can.

These mothers' survival battle is an emotional one. Some need money to eat and scams to shop and wear nice clothes. Some will disguise themselves behind a destructive disease. And some will take a random kid (a poor one most likely) to Thailand and pretend he is hers.

Betty's relationship with her mother has always been one of violent confusion and emotional

chadsT When srie becomes a mother, she quits being a wife (her husband leaves her so he can be as good a writer as her). But that does not stop her from being happy. It is when her kid is taken away from her that she will lose ground and start living in an illusionary world where people can be replaced by stand­ing bodies, and mothers will do anything to get the emotional backing that they need. And if they are white and wealthy; that will make the job a little easier.

Diego Costa

"Alias Betty" will be playing at the UWM Union Theatre, as part of the French Film Festival 2003 on Friday, Feb. 14 at 8 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 15 at 6 p.m. and Sunday, Feb. 16 at 8 p.m.

Tickets are $4 discount, $5 general.

For more info and a complete schedule of other French Film Festival screenings call 229-4070'or log on to www.aux.uwm.edu/UnionTheatre

WE GAINED WEIGHT Seen our Scholarship Channel lately?

14 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Sports

Women's Basketball

Women even their mark for first time By All ie Kuopus Staff Writer

For the first time this season the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee's women's basketball team evened their record to .500 at 11-11 (7-4 in confer­ence) with an 88-81 victory over Cleveland State University last Saturday, Feb. 8.

In the Panther's third straight win, fourth in the league and fifth on the road, sophomore Kimberly Becker put on quite the show, raking in 14 points in the first half, and another 14 in the second, producing a career-high 28 points. Freshman Molly O'Brien also played to impress with 12 at the half and 16 for the game. The Panthers led the Vikings 48-31 at the half with 54.3 percent of all shots, and 55.6 percent of threes.

After the break, Panther victory was in the air, as Cleveland State (6-15, 4-7) took control of the ball and the scoreboard with a 64-61 lead and 10:25 left on the clock. This, however, did not shake UWM, who took back the lead minutes later with junior Maria Viall's first career three-pointer.

Cleveland State kept the score gap close, between two and five points, until the final moment of the game. Freshman Nichole Drummond put a down payment on her team's victory with a three pointer. Fellow freshman Anne Witte sunk two free throws, taking the Panthers up to an 88-79 advantage.

Cleveland State snuck one more in to close the gap to the final 88-81.

Mens Basketball

Post photo by John J. Ward

UWM Sophomore Kimberly Becker scored a career-high 28 points against the Vikings.

Though Cleveland State took the pleasure of double and triple-teaming Viall, she came out strong with another double-double game, scoring 10 for the team and-11 rebounds.

Panthers keep on rolling

Post photo by John J. Ward

Clay Tucker led all scorers w i th 23 against Cleveland State.

By Jordan Goldstein Staff Writer

After completing its first ever sweep over Detroit on Thursday night, the Panthers used their momentum and completely outplayed Cleveland State Saturday night, scoring an 86-69 victory over the Vikings.

Clay Tucker led the Panthers (18-5 over­all, 9-2 Horizon League) with 23 points, and Dylan Page added 15. The victory, coupled with a UIC loss to Butler, puts the Panthers in 2nd place in the Horizon League, one-half game back of the Bulldogs, with a visit to Indianapolis still to come.

The win gave UWM their fifth in a row

and tenth on their own court. The Panthers are now a perfect 8-0 in the friendly confines of the Klotsche Center with two more games to go at home. The Panthers will play on Monday against Green Bay and Thursday will feature a re-match against the Flames of Illinois-Chicago.

"Our guys came ready to play tonight," UWM Head Coach Bruce Pearl said. The Panthers are going through a grueling stretch right now, playing their next five games in ten days.

The Panther offense was once again at the top of its game, pouring in 52 first half points. Tucker scored 21 of his 23 in the first half. "The hoop seemed like an ocean in the first half," Tucker said. Even though he was held to just two points in the second half, Tucker may have played his most complete game of the season, adding nine assists and grabbing six rebounds.

The Panthers shot 60 percent from the floor in the first half, and hit eight of their nine three-point shots. The Vikings had no answers for the Panther offense.

The Panthers were able to ease up in the second half. They took off the press, which enabled the Vikings to set up shots. Both teams played evenly in the second half. The Panthers were able to rest their players, and get them ready for their game against UW-Green Bay on Monday, Feb. 10.

Pape Badiane scored 21 points and Jermaine Robinson added 20 for the Vikings (7-16, 2-8), who lost for the seventh-straight time.

The Panthers are looking for revenge after their loss in Green Bay a month ago. "Monday night will be a war," Pearl said.

The Panthers will be looking for revenge again on Thursday Feb. 12. The third-place Flames come to town looking to sweep the Panthers after UIC beat UWM 102-92 on Jan. 9 from Chicago. A sweep of the Panthers may prove pivotal if tie-breakers begin to factor into the conference tournament seeding.

Admirals blow lead, twice By Nick Dettmann Sports Editor

For the second consecutive night, the Milwaukee Admirals could not hold onto a two-goal lead and skated to a 5-5 tie against the Norfolk Admirals Saturday Feb. 8 from the Bradley Center.

On Friday night the Admirals were holding a 5-3 lead mid-way through the third period over

the Cincinnati Mighty Ducks. Two quick goals by the Ducks forced overtime and a 5-5 tie.

On Saturday, Milwaukee quickly jumped out to a 2-0 lead in the first period. Norfolk fought back to tie the game at two and ultimately take a 3-2 lead mid-way through the sec­ond period.

Milwaukee was holding a 5-4 lead with a little over 12 min­utes left in the third when for­

mer Milwaukee Admiral Matt Henderson notched home his second goal of the game, tying it at five.

Cameron Mann registered Milwaukee's fourth hat-trick of the season and also added an assist in the tie. Milwaukee had its winless streak extended to five games as they have not broken the win column since a 4-1 win on Jan. 22 against San Antonio.

HORIZON HOT NEWS by Nick Dettmann

P L A Y E R S O F T H E W E E K (for week ending Feb. 2)

Men's Basketball: Willie Green, Detroit Women's Basketball: Jen Perugini, Youngstown State Men's Swimming: Andrew Hancock, Cleveland State Women's Swimming: Caitlin Carey, Illinois-Chicago Men's Track & Field: Kurt Michaelis, Youngstown State Women's Track & Field: Andrea Karpala, Detroit

Inaugural ESPN Bracket Buster games announced

Three Horizon League schools are going to take part in the inau­gural ESPN Bracket Buster Saturday event on Feb. 22. Detroit, Illinois-Chicago and the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee are the three teams that will represent the league in the event.

The event was developed to give the mid-major schools, who may be on the bubble, one last chance to impress the NCAA Tournament selection committee before the field of 65 teams is announced the third week of March.

Illinois-Chicago will be the only Horizon League team that will not hit the road in the tournament as they will host Bowling Green from the Mid-American Conference (MAC). UW-Milwaukee will hit the road to face Southern Illinois of the MAC in Carbondale, IL. It will be the first game between the Panthers and the Salukis since 1979. Detroit will head out to the West coast to play UC-Santa Barbara of the Big West Conference.

"The pairings process hinged on two very important goals," Horizon League Commissioner John LeCrone said. "The first was to create compelling, competitive match-ups not only for this year, but also for next year. The second was to create some very interesting tele­vision games. We think all of the games meet those two larger goals."

Cleveland State names first Women's Soccer coach

Cleveland State took a very important step into the berth of a new era of Viking Athletics by hiring former DePaul assistant Derrek Falor as their first coach of women's soccer.

"We are excited to announce the hiring of Derrek Falor as our head women's soccer coach because it is the beginning of an excit­ing new era in CSU Athletics," Cleveland State Athletic Director Lee Reed said. "Derrek's reputation as a great teacher of the game along with his personal commitment to developing well-rounded student-athletes made him the obvious choice to lead our program."

Between 1995 and 2000, Falor was the head women's soccer coach at Western Washington University, compiling a 56-47-10 record. Falor's 56 wins were the second most in school history and his team never finished lower than third in conference play.

"The opportunity to build a program is just fantastic," Falor said. "I look forward to creating an awareness of CSU soccer in the greater Cleveland metropolitan area, putting an effective and entertaining team on the field, and working hard to be very successful in the Horizon League."

PANTHER

M E N ' S BASKETBALL

Panthers sweep the Titans As the regular season comes to a close, it is looking more and

more that the Horizon League Tournament will be played in Milwaukee this year. The UWM Panthers completed its first ever sweep over the University of Detroit Titans on Thursday, Feb. 6, with a 61-50 victory, and clinched at least the number three seed in the upcom­ing conference tournament.

In order for UWM to host the conference tournament, they need to finish third or better in the Horizon League regular season stand­ings and now at 17-5, 8-2 in conference, they are going to be able to do that.

Dylan Page led the Panthers with 19 points, and Clay Tucker added 16. "We came ready to play tonight," Coach Bruce Pearl said. The Panthers were able to jump on the Titans quickly, putting what Pearl said, "One of our best halves of the year." They shot over 50 percent from the floor, and held the Titans to just 37 per­cent

Before the game, Pearl told his team to start thinking about post­season play, even though it's the beginning of February. The Panthers are trying to do something no UWM Men's Basketball team has done in history, and that is receive a bid for the NCAA Tournament.

—Jordan Goldstein

W O M E N ' S BASKETBALL

Panthers pound the Titans The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee women's basketball team

cruised to a 76-61 victory over the University of Detroit in Horizon League women's basketball action on Thursday Feb. 6, in Detroit.

The Panthers placed five players in double figures in scoring to help advance them into a second-place tie in the league (10-11, 6-4 league), while Detroit fell to 7-13 overall and 5-4 in league play.

Milwaukee shot 52.2 percent from the floor in the second half to finish the game at 49 percent from the floor, while holding Detroit

see SPORT SHORTS page 20

Sports www.uwmpost.com February 12,2003 15

COLUMN

f l ip side J L by NICKGEIGER

As the Milwaukee Bucks head full steam into the All-Star break as one of the hotter teams in the league, merely one half of a sea­son may separate them from the end of an era. Senator Herb Kohl is looking to sell the team he bought in 1985 for $18 million; a paltry sum considering that Forbes magazine recently esti­mated the Bucks' worth to be roughly $168 million, according to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. Commissioner David Stern recently stated that there were several people interested in purchasing them, and that Senator Kohl made it a priority that the new buyer would want to keep the team in Milwaukee.

You can believe that if you want to. Stern may be speaking the truth, or he may be spinning things in his marketing-wizard way. Truth is, as much as the team's worth appears to the com­mon observer, the Bucks are actu­ally the lowest-valued team in the league, play in the smallest mar­ket, and "enjoy" an agreement

with the Bradley Center that is not nearly as profitable as most in the NBA. Stern may not mind if the team stays here, but he probably would not care if it moved to Saturn as long as it made the league money, some­thing the Bucks, Kohl has stated, did not do last year. Yet he is trying to preserve basketball in Milwaukee again.

The Bucks were very good during Kohl's early years. After their prolonged stay in the cel­lar, he made George Karl the high­est-paid coach in the league. He got the Big Dog to sign and he doled out the maximum for Ray Allen. When the front office begged him to make hugely expensive gambles on Tim Thomas and Anthony Mason, he did. It is not his fault they have mostly failed to pan out. Whenever the Milwaukee Bucks have needed something, he has been there. He is the reason we have basketball, and the reason we can keep it. And for that, Senator Herb Kohl, we thank you.

Wave at top of their game By Nick Dettmann Sports Editor .

Winning has been nothing new to the Milwaukee Wave in their 19-year franchise history. For the tenth straight game, the Wave added to the left-hand column in the standings with a 17-8 win over the San Diego Sockers to improve their record to 22-5, the best through 27 games in franchise history.

Milwaukee natively/anted to make his mark as well as he scored his 99th and 100th career goals late in the third quarter in front of a season-high 8,304 screaming fans from the Bradley Center.

With nine games left on the schedule, the Wave are in terrif­ic shape to capture the league's best record going into the post­season. Last season, the Wave got that honor, but were ousted in the championship round to Philadelphia.

The season gets better for the Wave as March 7-9 will feature the Milwaukee Wave and the Bradley Center playing hosts for the 2003 Major Indoor Soccer League All-Star game. The week­end festivities will include a char­ity dinner, the first-ever youth skills competition, the legends against the Wave game and of course, the 2003 All-Star game.

\ MEET YOUR

Panthers Basketball Players

Post photo by John J. Ward

Maria Viall Hometown: Waukesha, Wl Birthday: May 24, 1982 Major/Minor: Journalism/Mass Communications with Communications minor Favorite Foods: Vegetables, broccoli and popcorn Least Favorite Foods: Donuts and coleslaw Favorite Subject: Sign Language, drama and choir Least Favorite Subject: Statistics Nicknames: Roommates call her Gwendolyn; MTV for her initials Interests: Running and spending time with her nine siblings Something not many people know about Maria: Played soccer as a midfielder and a goalkeeper Why UWM? Liked the area, city and the team and believed in the passion that coach Botham has. Person Maria would most like to meet? Mother Teresa, she was a good role model and giving person, just an amazing woman. Brad Pitt, because he is gorgeous! Most memorable sports moment: Winning conference championship freshman year Favorite Music/Artist: Likes Dashboard Confessional, U2 and Counting Crows What does Maria plan to do after she graduates? Would like to go overseas to live and travel. Otherwise, not too sure yet.

Ronnie Jones Hometown: Las Vegas, NV Birthday: January 27, 1980 (team sang happy birthday to him during stretching and they aren't the world's best singers) Major/Minor: Marketing Favorite Food: Italian, Fettuccini alfredo with chicken

Least Favorite Food: Lima Beans and corn

Favorite Subject: Math Least Favorite Subject: Chemistry Nicknames: Ron-J Interests: Loves to read poetry and watch movies; Favorite movie: Coming to America Why UWM? Best friend from first grade's cousin went here. He has known him for a long time and a smart guy that wouldn't make the wrong decision. Person Ronnie would like to meet: Mohammed AN, powerful person and did things no one had ever done and expected him to do. He stood for what he believed in.

Most memorable sports moment: When he was six, made his first-ever basket in front of his whole family. Gave him the idea that he could score. Favorite Music/Artist: Hip-Hop because it has a strong message. Favorite artist is TuPac What does Ronnie plan to do after he graduates? Play tilLhe can't anymore, be successful and happy and look into coaching. What do Ronnie's tattoo's mean? The bulldog on his right shoulder represents his close-knit friends from home as they all have the same tattoo. It represents their brotherhood.

Warcl They are each other's biggest fans. Post photo by John J.

POINT/! POINT

Title IX: Is it doing what it's supposed to

Since its passing in 1972, Title IX has been an on-going debate on whether or not the law, that was supposed to force equality in sports participation, is fair.

Women's rights supporters feel that the law is doing what it was 'designed' to do and that is give females equal opportunity to play athletics at any level. Opposition feels that because schools have been forced to oblige to this law, that men's sports programs are being dropped.

Constant debate continues to this date on whether or not the law should be changed, left alone or dropped entirely. So, our sports writers got around the coffee table once again and argued what should be done about Title IX and how it is affecting sports. Here's what they came up with.

we're on the web: www.uwmpost.com

There is no solution As one that has done extensive research on Title

IX, I feel that the law has its good points and its bad points.

On the plus side, the law gave birth to a whole new dimension of sports. It gave women an equal shot of playing sports. When the law was passed, women's sports soared through the roof in partici­pation nearly overnight. It is great to see that women are getting a shot of becoming world-class athletes.

On the negative side, the law has caused some stir into what sports are being cancelled because of lack of funding. With many men's teams folding at universities all over the county, some people are starting to think that women's sports are killing men's sports. Opposition feels that, historically, women are not supposed to play sports. Which I think is absurd by the way. So, in order to get the population of sports participation at a level plane, they have to drop men's programs so their num­bers will match the women's without adding women's sports.

All in all, Title IX is helping women play sports, but it is also hurting the men's sports. Some changes definitely need to be made, but what changes need to be made are still uncertain and it may take a long time before something ever happens.

Nick Dettmann

It comes down to dollars Title IX was and still is a landmark in sports.

By assuring equal treatment is given for men's and women's sports at the high school and college level, the measure gave women's sports the life support they needed to get established.

Title IX is most important on the high school level. There is absolutely no reason male and female sports should not be treated with the same respect and level of financial dedica­tion. At the collegiate levels, however, I do think some distinctions need to be made.

I fully support women's athletics, but the bottom line of today's college sports environ­ment is money. To a school, the athletic depart­ment is a business, and the sports that draw the most money are football and men's bas­ketball. Marquette's men's basketball team is responsible for funding every other team, male or female, on campus. The Wisconsin Badger foqtball team rakes in millions of dollars for the university. Without that football team, many of the women's teams wouldn't survive.

I'm not saying that colleges should ignore women's sports, but they cannot and will not ever be treated equally. They simply aren't comparable in a bottom-line sense.

Nick Geiger

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16 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Editorial

In Honor oj... m

%ZJQ#

The Relationship

According to her... The only reason I even stepped foot in that pathetic dive of a bar is 'cuz he

promised to buy all of my drinks that night. Not that the drinks made the expe­rience any more bearable—I swear I had counted at least 15 mullets in that joint before I started wondering if the paneling was actually wood. Of course he was going off on some tangent about a video game. One of these days I'm going to stop letting him play with my "X-Box" lest he starts paying some attention to me.

Then.just as I was thinking that this place couldn't get any lamer, this god of a man came walking through the door. I was thinking about asking him if he was in the right place when he gave my boyfriend this look of utter confusion. And yes, my boyfriend was still going on and on about those freaking games, and trying to tell me that Megaman was the best game of all time, simply because Megaman got to change his clothes.

Not that I'm some video gaming freak, but I just had to let him know that he was wrong—Zelda was definitely the superior game. The character develop­ment alone gives Zelda a better storyline, and, come on, Dr. Wiley's stupid float­ing dog? Case closed.

So the drunkass starts arguing with me, his arms flailing though the air, and eventually knocks his drink over on me. And then, get this—he laughs at me.

Hell yeah I was pissed. I threw my drink on his face and took a cheap shot.

And I never, ever told him to steal me a penguin. I'm not going to say it wasn't sweet that he actually noticed my love of the tuxedo-clad cuties, but he can't expect me to run from zoo security in platforms.

So I left the bar in a fury, and he didn't even care enough to call me -today. Honestly, I think I'm better off without that lazy, inattentive, cal­low, drunken adolescent I've been calling my boyfriend.

According to him.. . There I was in the middle of the greatest speech of my life. I understood then exact­

ly what the driving forces of my life were trying to show me, and it was no different than Castlevania III. That's when "the Incident" occurred.

In hind sight it all makes sense. Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. It's the simple life of a man with too much time on his hands—lots of side-scrolling and ominous pilgrimages between cities just to get a handle on what the freaking mission is. That was me before my girlfriend and college.

Much like Two, I had to undergo a turbulent transformation to achieve where I'm at today (Castlevania III and IV). We all know that it's really about hunting vampires. So let's stick to that.

Yes, there is room for diversity, by means of added characters (my girlfriend), but don't go overboard. Yes, you get the bonus thrill of (sex) being able to play as a vam­pire, but keep that in perspective (monogamous). And don't go doing anything too fan­cy like stealing her a penguin because she's got some weird penguin fetish. You want a friendly version of Dracula, name him "Alucard," a no-frills backwards spelling.

That's me man, to the letter. It'd be nicer if I had better clothes though. That's what I think triggered "The Incident."

I just remember her dumping her drink on me in defense of Zelda. I mean Zelda's sucked since they brought in that damn owl. Honestly, make me hunt down a freaking omnipotent bird that's supposed to know everything just so he can tell me where to go.

I ask you this: If he's so freaking omnipotent, how come he doesn't know where I am when I'm running all over the damn fields looking for him? And why the hell can't I kill him?

*$:;W Maybe she really doesn't understand me. I do everything for her, and I get / nothing in return. And I can't even count the number of undead souls that I have

had to leave trapped in vampiric bodies, just because she wanted some.

"The Incident" Welcome to Scaffidi's Hide-out, site of the infa­

mous games of the bad boyfriend and the bad girlfriend. I am broadcasting live in 30 countries from around the world. There is the "bad boyfriend" slamming down some drinks at the bar. From my vantage point, it looks like shots of Wild Turkey taken in between Budweisers. What a great combination of drinks there. Here comes the "bad girlfriend," looking as upset as ever, ready to take on her boyfriend in this intense battle of the sexes.

Before the game, I talked to both sexes. The boyfriend told me that his game plan was to final­ly tell his girlfriend that he wants some new clothes. He also told me that he plans to conquer her in the same way he conquered "Castlevania II: Simon's Quest." The girlfriend has a different approach to the game. She told me that she plans to let him know that she is sick and tired of his obsessive addiction to that blasted video game system. She was very secretive on how she was going to do that. She gave a small wink and told me that I will be very surprised to see how she goes about doing that.

So, the table is set, boyfriend versus girlfriend in another battle of the sexes. We will be right back after a quick word from our sponsors. Boyfriend. Girlfriend. Up next!

Round 1 Welcome back to the battle of the sexes. Both

sides have warmed up and are ready for this clas­sic battle between the "bad boyfriend" and the "bad girlfriend." Let's get it on!

The boyfriend and girlfriend have started the first period of action arguing back-and-forth about the relationship in general. From the looks of things, my vantage point is really high up here in Scaffidi's, it looks like he's talking about how cool the latest "Castlevania" video game is. It seems that she's talking about how he doesn't lis­ten to her, a typical argument in the battle of the sexes. The two go back-and-forth as we get set to close out the first period here at Scaffidi's. Second period action is up next with the score tied at 0-0.

Round 2 Second period is underway here from Scaffidi's

and...Oh oh! Look out! What is this?! It's a God of

a man coming into the picture. What is he doing here? This is definitely going to hurt the girl­friend. I don't believe she was expecting this in her game plan. The God is teasing her, removing his coat right in her line of sight. She is really dis­tracted now. That is a huge point for the boyfriend as he takes the 1-0 lead, despite not noticing what has just happened.

Seeing that she is now trailing, she decides to rebound and listen to what her boyfriend is talk­ing about. The boyfriend is going off on a whim talking about how great Megaman was because he got to change clothes. She tries to even the score and is successful as she brings up Zelda and Link's wardrobe. That couldn't have come at a bigger time, the girlfriend has tied it up a one. Now, the boyfriend needs to come up with a counter or he'll find himself in the hole. The two get into an even hotter debate where he suffers a huge blow by spilling his drink on her, giving him a two-minute trip to the 'sin-bin', putting the girl­friend on the power play. It is getting worse for the boyfriend as he is seen laughing about it and is awarded a two-minute misconduct penalty, giv­ing him two-minutes for spilling and two-minutes for misconduct. She does not waste any time and capitalizes on the power-play by taking her drink and dumping into his crotch. As the second peri­od horn goes off, the girlfriend takes a very important 2-1 lead into the locker room. Girlfriend 2, boyfriend 1. Third period action is next from Scaffidi's, don't go away!

Round 3 Back here at Scaffidi's where it is the girlfriend

2 and the boyfriend 1 in the finals of the battle of the sexes. This third period stands to be very eventful after the proceedings that closed out the second period. With the sound of the horn start­ing the third period, the debate that-ended the second period resumes. They square off and drop the mitts for the fight.

The boyfriend and girlfriend are deadlocked— it's hard to tell who's got the advantage. From what I can hear, the girlfriend says that the drink shouldn't make a difference to him because it couldn't shrink anymore than it already has. Wow! What a huge score there by the girlfriend. The girlfriend opens up the lead, 3 to 1. Here comes the boyfriend looking to stay close. He tells her

that at least he can turn the Playstation on. That's a huge point right there as the boyfriend trims it back to a one-point game, 3-2.

Round 4 As we enter the early stages of the fourth peri­

od, the girlfriend is looking to seal the deal. The girlfriend told me before the game that she has a fetish for those tuxedo-clad animals, the pen­guins. This was something I was unaware of. The boyfriend sees his opportunity to tie the game at 3 as he brings up how he stole a penguin from the zoo and gives it to her. What a huge score, the boyfriend has tied it up at 3 with only minutes remaining.

What's this? The girlfriend is coming back, she scores 4-3! It looks like she told the boyfriend that she wants a penguin but didn't want him to steal one for her. What an awful mistake by the boyfriend. That one is going to cost him. It looks like the girlfriend is about to pull away as she tells him that he never listens to her and tells him to fuck off.

That's a big point, 5-3 in favor of the girlfriend with seconds remaining. She's going to take this one to the house as she walks out the door. The boyfriend makes one last desperation move by winking at another girl, closing the margin to 5-4. But it's a little too late. The girlfriend is going to take home the championship in an intense battle of the sexes 5-4 from Scaffidi's.

What an unbelievable game tonight. Both sides tried to outwit their opponent, but when it was all said and done, it was the girlfriend coming out on top. Let's go to the sideline and interview the win­ner.

"I think I'm better off without that lazy, inat­tentive, callow, drunken adolescent I've been call­ing my boyfriend." Mighty strong words of confi­dence there. Well, that will do it here from Scaffidi's. Thank you for joining us. Your local news is next. Again the final, girlfriend 5, boyfriend 4.

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Editorial www.uwmpost.com February 12, 2003 17

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The Value of Valentine's Valentine's Day (or "Singles Awareness Day" to you hopeless

romantics) is here. But of all the broken hearts sure to be suffered, none may be so harsh as St. Valentine's. His memorial day has lost its true meaning.

Legend is that Valentine was a priest who worked under the Roman Empire in the third century. Emperor Claudius II wanted young men to become better soldiers and he felt single men made better soldiers than married, so he outlawed marriage. Valentine rebelled and continued to marry couples in secret. His actions were discovered and Valentine was sentenced to death.

There is another legend that says Valentine created the first "Valentine" himself. In prison, he fell in love with the daughter of his cell guard and, on the day of his execution, wrote her a letter and signed it "from your Valentine." By the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

And now it's a true Hallmark holiday. Hallmark stands to make approximately $1 billion this Valentine's

Day. Greeting cards amount to 57 percent of all Valentine's Day sales. Cut flower purchases account for 34 percent.

130 million roses will be killed this Valentine's Day so that your "special someone" can feel that much more special.

But that is what it's all about these days. Florists, jewelers, can­dy shops, and your friendly neighborhood Hallmark store are just waiting for you to drop in and really prove what that sweetheart is worth. A few acres of flowers may die and another rainforest may have to be cleared, but it's your baby we're talking about.

And it's not like this is the third century where love is so mag­nificent that it is worth risk and sacrifice. How unfortunate.

Love Love, the tragedy. Friendship turned com­

panionship or companions turned friends, here in heaven it is referred to as "settling." A beau­tiful vice, powerful and dangerous like alcohol or smoking. It is a narcotic, an aural veil in which to hide true vision and real feeling. A TV like vice of real life distorted. In fantasy its fan­tastic; until it crumbles under its own science, yet love can never crumble. But yet, saved by addiction, the vice is able to persevere.

Love comes in explosions: debris and fallout clouding insight with falling chunks of infatua­tion or affirmation and piercing blind light. Love comes in sunrises: dawning slow and sta­ble familiar rarities entwined with second-thought sexcapade.

A compromise not between lovers, but between one and one's love.

You have two options:

1. Life. A cell of black/green inch water and Donald-Duck slime. A world of crippling defini­tions in terms of feet, yards, or right-angles. That

cold, gray, brick smell of voidless silence that deafens into tasteless two-dimensions. Static worlds of no electricity, where loneliness is cud­dled like a comforter.

OR

2. Love. A secret crush on a guy or girl. Watch their dance from across the room in split-sec­ond twilight passages of time. Real life? You bare­ly converse, shared noticed existence exists only in passing. They don't know you. Yet you dream ludicrously, of fantasy (sex) scenes of (marriage) bondage, during the surely repeating daily vacation from the location of your real world. Blissful schoolgirls, infatuated crush fan­tasy, an unreality for which you prey to plead ignorant. That guy or girl that you don't know, for whom you think your thoughts pregnant. Love is a fantasy that comes in bachelor's ther­mometers, compasses, masters and document doctorates. Love, but only comes in degrees. The theory of Relativity.

fa ml liar rarities dear

addiction

daily -. vacation

siiericc

Rather be with the girls

No worries, no stressing, no one for impressing. A "girls' night" for Valentine's Day is just what the doctor ordered!

This night must begin in preparation, as any "girls' night" would. A quick stop at the local grocery store is essential, for a "girls' night" typically consists of as much ice cream, chocolate, pizza and junk food as one girl could get her hands on. (Margaritas and other such intoxicating beverages are optional.)

Now here comes the best part. Instead of finding some­thing cute and adorable hiding in your massive closet of clothes, throw on pajama pants and a sweatshirt. This night requires comfort, relaxation and plenty of room to eat.

Chick flicks, Romantic comedies and other such girly movies are to be taken advantage of on this night. There's no need to sacrifice or put up watching war movies or fight movies to impress or please anyone. You won't need to guard the remote, but be sure to keep it close by for paus­es in the movie are necessary as well as welcomed.

The movie is either stopped or followed by giggles, gos­sip and girly conversations. Girlfriends are often the best friends to console, comfort, and give advice. Sometimes the night consists of mud masks, manicures, hair dye and wax. But really it's not what the night consists of, rather whom.

Spending a night with one guy could never compare to an evening with your girlfriends. A group of girls who love you for who you are always prevails over a night of the "prim and proper" ways of an evening date. Cherish your girlfriends, because when all else fails, they will always be the ones there for you.

Rather be with the guys

So it's Friday night again and there is only one way to unwind properly — I call up my dudes Al and Steve and it's understood that we need to get to a bar as fast as Steve's car can go.

We enter the bar like an old west gang, and Steve grabs the first round. It seems like everything is going to be OK. The conversation is staying a happy level of dick and fart jokes while the beer wash­es over us like Sunday Communion, taking away our sins.

That is until Steve gets this call on his cell phone. I can see his freedom getting sucked out of his ear by some powerful, evil mag­net, draining him of his life force via the phone. Suddenly it's just not the same. Steve has now turned into dead weight that Al and I have to carry around on our shoulders all night.

After we have acquired the good drunk necessary to forget about our real lives, the night picks up. We think that we are better look­ing, smarter and stronger then the next guy. And, as if God was approving of this new self image, a pool table previously being held by lesser mortals opens up for a challenger. Seeing how Steve is still recovering from his mental attack, Alan and I decide that we will try our hand at winning the table away from these obviously unlearned fools.

Four games later our team is down four games, so we change our strategy. We've now decided to at least drink them under the table.

The rest of the night seems a little blurry. The next thing I know it is morning and I'm sleeping in Al's bathtub, smelling like my own vomit. I pull my wits about me and walk to the living room where I find Al asleep on the sofa, pants around his ankles.

And in that moment, as I was lighting up the first cigarette of the day, I had a profound sense of pride in what we had accom­plished the night before.

Written by:

AH Austin, Staff Writer Nick Dettmann, Sports Editor Kenzie Renner, Editor In Chief Brian Resop, Staff Writer Damian Roth, Editorial Editor Drew Wintermyer, Staff Writer Jeffrey $. Jacquet, Staff Writer

18 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post Classifieds

COLUMN CONTINUED FROM PAGE 9

on the wrong side. Umm, did we pass kindergarten? Really, how is it OK for someone to be driv­ing a vehicle 65 miles per hour on the highway when they can't even walk properly? Let's get this clear: when you are walking forward, you walk on the right hand side. This isn't hard, all right. The RIGHT HAND SIDE. Do you know how many food spills and near bump-into's could be prevented if everyone just stuck to this walking on the right side business? Come on, folks.

Lesson number two: If you find it necessary to have a con­versation in busy places such as walkways, doorways and/or on the top of the stairs on the Union's first floor, move off to the side. This is common courtesy and I can guarantee that the per­son you are talking with is not going to get pissed if you move the conversation over a few steps. You could be a hero, your fellow peers could secretly thank you as opposed to the mumbled obscene language you will be get­ting if you fail to remember that:

a) You, personally, don't own the hallways

b) You are an adult and should act like one

c) Life will be better when everyone isn't always so pissed.

Think of it—if we get this down it could be revolutionary; we could be the first school that has 'smooth' crowded hallways. It could be a feature included in those fictional pamphlets they send to all those sucker high school seniors. Think of what a good example we could be pro­viding for all those little whip-persnappers that come to our school around lunch time and eat on the carpet of the union's sec­ond floor.

So I need your help. Next time you see some jerk walking on the left side, not paying attention because they are talking on the phone, stopping where they shouldn't or doing anything else that is extremely annoying to the rest of us, go up to them and politely say; "Hey, you seem nice, you should move that conversa­tion a few feet over," or some­thing in that manner. I take no responsibility if you get beat up,

but I don't think you will, because you are so smart and sweet, right?

And if this doesn't work then I don't know, I think we might have to go to the chancellor and ask about a new Freshman Seminar, Walking Edict 101. It could work.

Now, you write, impress me, make me want you. This week's column is made amazing by an amazing writer, Verity Fossette. Make next week's better. Send your writing to me at bcan-dell@uwm.edu. Now please. Thank you.

The UWM Post is now looking for

Staff Writers

Stop in our offices at Union EG80 Bring your story ideas!

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Mark your calendars — All majors and all college, levels invited. This is your cliance to go inside . .this wfirlrUamnn*; Tt^nn, h.iitd your resume network wi ih Disney leaders and

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Check out a Walt Disney World® College Program paid internslrip. 24-hour secured housing is offered. College, credit opportunities may be available. Visit our website at

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Start Counting Down to a Great Job this

New Year! Due to continual growth and expansion, Wisconsin Early Autism

Project is still hiring fun and intelligent people! Teach play and social

skills one-on-one to a child with autism in the child's area home.

Positions available throughout the Milwaukee Area!

• Work 6-12+ hours per week in 2-3 hour blocks of time

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• Paid Travel Time and Paid Training!

• One year of college REQUIRED.

• Great Part-time Job!

Visit our web site or call for an application! Wisconsin Early Autism Project, Inc.

(262) 432-5660 ~ www.wiautism.nnm WEAP is an equal opportunity employer.

Classifieds www.uwmpost.com February 12,2003 19

The UWM Post Classifieds FOR SALE

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Classified Ad info $2.00 per line / 20 characters per line

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THE WEEKLY CROSSWORD PUZZLE ACROSS

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abbr.) 15 Ban 17 Sea robber 19 Novel 21 Doze 23 Carry 24 Stalk 26 Spread grass to dry 28 Nude 30 Flap 32 Cat sound 34 Regular (abbr.) 35 Sullivan 37 Restore 40 Complete 41 Relative (abbr.) 43 Beetle

44 Lion's home 46 Get an A on a paper 48 Sesame plant 50 High wind 53 55 Black street

substance 57 Each 58 Sheriff 60 Number 62 Move 63 A Gershwin 64 Short skirt (slang) 66 Woe is me! 68 Turking title 69 Dash 70 Girl (slang)

DOWN

1 Star with a tail 2 Americium symbol 3 Chemist's workroom 4 Playing cards 5 Either... 6 Sharp bite

7 Blue pencil 8 Archetype 9 Moisturized 10 Direction (abbr.) 11 Tins 16 Article 18 Steal 20 Moist 22 Take away points 25 Damage 27 Morning moisture 29 Self 31 Cot 33 Compressed ball 35 Age 36 Say 38 Negative 39 Appendage 42 Give room 45 Doze 47 Beaver construction 49 Old language 51 Within the law 52 God of love (Gr.) 54 Appellation

56 Concerning 58 Liberty (abbr.) 59 None 61 Annoy 65 Prosecutor (abbr.) 67 Southern state

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20 February 12, 2003 The UWM Post N e w s

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to 33 percent for the game. The Panthers outrebounded UDM 42-31, continuing to stay atop the league in the rebound margin cate­gory.

Jessica Wilhite led the Panthers attack with 16 points and seven rebounds, while Maria Viall added 13 points and nine rebounds. Witte finished with 11 points including three trifectas. Becker and Nichole Drummond added 10 points apiece. Sara Crum led the Titans with 16 points.

—Nick Bragg

WOMEN'S SOCCER

Suminski receives regional award University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee and local hometown star Maggie

Suminski was voted by college coaches across the country to the Second Team All-Great Lakes Region team from soccerbuzz.com.

The Shorewood, Wis. native capped a brilliant four-year career for the black and gold in the same year she led her team to a second straight appearance in the NCAA tournament and named to the National Soccer Coaches Association (NSCA) Great Lakes Region Third-team in January.

"I think it's awesome that Maggie received this recognition, espe­cially since it is voted on by other college coaches," UWM head coach Michael Moynihan said. "She is deserving of everything she gets. Maggie is probably the most skilled player we've had here at UWM and the more you see her play, the more you appreciate her abili­ties."

Suminski was undoubtedly the leader of the pack for the 2002 Panthers, leading the squad to a regular season and conference championship and the birth in the NCAA tournament. UWM went 26-11-5 during her last two seasons, which helped her land All-league honors during those two years.

Over the course of her career, she scored four goals and 13 assists while playing both midfielder and defender.

—Nick Dettmann

TENNIS

Panthers get aced The Women's tennis team fell hard to the University of Illinois-

Chicago last Sunday Feb. 2, as they lost 7-0. The league favorite Flames dominated the visiting Panthers. The

strongest showing by UWM was that of freshman Margie Van Lieshout who lost to Ayea Gumuscu 6-1, 6-3. The Flames also swept the doubles competition.

The Panthers were set to take on De Paul on Saturday Feb. 8 and Bradley on Sunday Feb. 9, but at time of print, no results were reported.

—Sara Sommer

MEN AND WOMEN'S TRACK & FIELD

Viall and Kenesie win at Northern Iowa

University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee junior Nick Viall won the 600m and senior Stephanie Kenesie picked up a pair of wins in the Northern Iowa Classic from Cedar Falls, IA on Saturday Feb. 8.

Viall ran his personal best time in the 600m to give UWM its only win on the day from the men's side. Viall's time of 1:20.51 knocked off nearly a second off of his previous personal high. Gabe Wagoner finished second in the 600m, almost a full two seconds behind Viall.

Viall was not done as he helped his one-mile relay team of Nick Bruskewitz, Elliot Enright and Wagoner to a top-six finish in 3:20.95.

For the women, Kenesie picked up wins in the long jump and triple jump for the Panthers. Setting a season-best in each event, Kenesie jumped 37 feet 6 1/2 inches in the triple jump and 19 feet 2 1/2 inches in the long jump.

Lynda Thiel collected a win in the high jump with a personal-best 5 feet 6 1/2 inches, just one-half inch short of the school record at 5 feet 7 inches. The mile relay team of Teresa Braunreiter, Tenia Fisher, Katie Slamka and Katie Seep picked up UWM's last win in a time of 3:59.29.

The Panthers will be back in Iowa this weekend as they will take part in the Iowa State Invitational from Ames, Iowa.

—Nick Dettmann

MEN AND WOMEN'S SWIMMING

Badgers and Phoenix fight off the Panthers

Josh Basehart and Jeff Janinowski scored wins for the men, while Jen Kedinger, Krystina Herzog and Hannah Burgard each finished second at the University of Wisconsin Natatorium on Feb. 7 against the UW Badgers and the UW-Green Bay Phoenix.

The men fell to the Badgers 115-84 and to the Phoenix 132-98. The women lost 154-82 to the Badgers and 149-92 to the Phoenix.

Basehart squeezed past Wisconsin's Adam Mania by .02 seconds in the 100-meter. Janinowski won the three-meter dive with a score of 189.35 and second in the one-meter dive (174.30).

Kedinger was second in the 500-meter freestyle with a time of 5:18.74. Herzog and Burgard split their second place finishes in the diving events. Herzog was second in the one-meter with a 214.5, while Burgard was second in the three-meter with a 228.55.

The Panthers are off until Feb. 26 when they will compete in the conference tournament in Cleveland.

—Nick Dettmann