The Joy of Marriage

…is it Possible?

What was our dream…when we got married?

But…what

happened?

Why did we lose the

“happiness”?

What is happiness? Happiness is temporary

Happiness is based on feelings

Happiness depends on external factors.

What is Joy?

Joy comes from the Lord and you can still experience joy during trials and suffering

Joy is permanent and eternal because it is based on our relationship with Jesus, who is our everlasting source of joy.

Joy is true satisfaction that comes from internal factors. It is the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. (Gal.5,22)

Do you still have JOY?

How can we have joy in the midst of difficulties, trials, suffering?

“Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that

the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” (James 1: 2-3)

So… What is the Joy of marriage?

…it is the gift that comes from

God, when we are living the sacrament of marriage,

during all the stages of our married life.

FIVE STAGES OF MARRIED

Your word is a lamp to guide me and a light for my path (Psalm

119, 105)

First stage:

Falling in Love

During this first stage, we experience an explosion of feelings….

• It increases our….• well-being• physical desire for each other.

• It gives us…• happiness• energy• positive attitudes towards one another

“This one, at last, is bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;

This one shall be called ‘woman,’

for out of man this one has been

taken.”(Gen 2: 23)

FALLING IN LOVE is a gift from God…. because it is the moment when you decide to commit to spend the rest of your lives together.

You desire this feeling forever….

Second stage:

Disappointment

This second stage tends to be the most difficult because it is when couples experience the greatest disappointment and fall.

The higher the expectation the greater the fall….

This is the moment when “happiness” ends and we need to FIND Joy! The JOY is WITHIN US!

“So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will

rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” John 16:22

Third stage:

Power struggle

During this third stage we begin to feel frustrated because you want to change your spouse…you realise that we are different from one another.

We want to change the other because we believe that “MY WAY” is the right way.

You demand for the other to acknowledge that you are right.

The LORD God said: It is not good for the man to be alone. I will

make a helper suited to him. (Gen 2:18)

Haven’t you read the scripture says that in the beginning the creatorMade people male and female?... (Matthew 19,4)

• Your spouse can be your teacher or your enemy

• You can choose to learn from one anther or to run away from one another…..

• This is the time where divorce and separation take place.

Fourth stage:

Acceptance of the other

Not all couples arrive at this stage.

Because they gave up in the previous stage…they have lacked patience with each other….they lost the “happiness” and couldn’t find the “JOY”

Acceptance requires openness to the other in order to listen to what the OTHER wants to communicate TO me!

• This requires DIALOGUE

• It requires GENEROUS LISTENING

• We need to accept that we are different but COMPLEMENTARY…we NEED ONE ANOTHER!

“Rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls” (I Peter 1:8-9 )

Fifth stage:Communion

During this last stage there is more peace and harmony. You start "liking" your spouse again. You have a shared history.

You feel proud that you've “weathered the storms”.

You appreciate your partners sense of commitment to making your marriage last.

• You feel more secure about yourself as a person and you begin to appreciate the differences between you and your spouse

• You value the difference and you feel enriched by one anther.

“I pray they will be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you, so that the

world will believe “ (Jn 17:21)

“Yes, I know what plans I have in mind for you, Yahweh  declares: plans for peace, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

How we can start to find Joy?

“Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your

master’s joy.” (Matt 25:21)

God wants to share His Joy with us

through:

•Prayer

•Fraternal Love

•Sacraments

•Mission

“Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had

been set solidly on rock.( Mt. 7:24)

BUILD YOUR MARRIAGE

ON THE SOURCE OF JOY!

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart

trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart

shouts for joy!