Marriage Customs - Forgotten Books

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.

MARR IAGE CUST O MS

I N MAN )” LAN D S

BY T HE

REV . H N?‘HUT CH IN SON

,B.A. ,

F .G.S.

Al a/Jar of Extim t Momtem,

”Tée Story of ti e Hilly,

Preéz'

xtorif Man and B ean,

”697.

WITH MAN Y I LLUSTRATI ONS

H NEW YO RKm

D . APPLETON AND; QO NTPANYI 897

UN“ IN BROTHERS, THE GR ESHAM PR ESS, \VO K1NG AND LO NDO N .

PREFACE

THE Marriage Customs of the World , if treated

exhaustively,would fil l a good many volumes

,

and the compi lation of such a work might occupy

the best part of a l i fetime . The present writer ’s

obj ect is twgii to account

ofigfig iggandmintere s

‘ting customs der ived from infor

mation scattered through“

innumerable volumes, not todiscuss scient ific quest ions connected with the origin

of marriage and the human family,which have been

deal t with by wel l—known writers l ike S i r John Lub

bock,Professor Tylor

,Professor Robertson Smith

,

Westermark,and M cLenan .

The present age,with its marvel lous

,

faci l i t ies

for travel and consequent bringing together of

peoples and races,is

"

not favourable to the preser

vat ion of o ld customs . In fact,they

.

are fast dying

out everywhere,and

,ere long

,most of them wi l l

be as dead as the mammoth,or other ext inct mon

sters . Hence,i t i s highly desirable that the old

customs connected with betrothal and marriage should

be brought together and presented to the publ i c i n

some convenient and compact form . Although much

v i PREFACE

has been wri tten on marri age,there i s no modern book

of this kind . In the year 1 82 2,Lady Augusta Hamil

ton publ ished a book enti tled “ The Marriage R i tes ,Customs

,and Ceremonies of al l Nat ions

,

” but the

faci l i t ies for such a compilat ion were then but few in

comparison with the weal th of materi al now avai lable .

The number of books of travel publ ished since that

date is truly enormous,and i t i s to such works

that the writer i s chiefly indebted . But he has

used other sources,and gleaned much from peri

od icals , from the “ Gazetteer of India (over 40

volumes ) , Hunter’s Cyclopedia of India , and records

of M issionary labour . Nearly ninety separate works

on Afri ca were examined,and on I ndia more than

fifty,i ncluding the two j ust ment ioned . The Wed

ding Day in al l Countri es and al l Ages,

” by E . J . Wood,

appears to be the only other Engl ish work of this

kind . I t was publ ished nearly thirty years ago,i s

somewhat too brief,and now out of print .

The i l lustrat ions have been careful ly selected from

a large number col lected by the author from various

sources . Some are photographed from l ife,others

are drawn or painted by art ists wel l acquainted with

the scenes which they depi ct,or are based on trust

worthy materi als .

The writer is part i cularly indebted to Mr. Thos .

Chi ld, of Che lsfie ld ,

Kent,for his excel lent photograph

of a Chinese bride ; to L i eut . Chas . Fox (Bedfordshire

Regiment ) , for a photograph of an Indian Moham

medan bridal party ; to Messrs . Bourne and Sheppard ,

PREFACE

of Bombay,for their excellent photograph which forms

the frontispiece to Mrs . R igg for the photograph of a

Brahmin wedding party ; to Mr . Percy Bigland for

permiss ion to reproduce his picture,A Q uaker Wed

ding,

” as wel l as to Mr . J. R . Reid for s imi lar per

mission with regard to his Mate of the Mermaid ’ s

Wedding to Prof. Douglas for a Chinese i l lustrat ion

of a bridal chair,from his book “ Society in China ”

(Innes 85 and for finding the Japanese nat ive

drawing,Bringing home the presents . Acknow

ledgment is also due to Mr . E . D . Cuming and to

his publ ishers,Messrs . Osgood , M cI lvaine 8: Co .

,

for permission to quote the graphi c descript ion of a

Burmese marriage from With the Jungle Folk in

Burma . ”

LO N DO N,Septeméer, I 897

CO NTENT S

C RAP. PAGE

v I I . CH I NA

Ann . JAPAN

I V . PERSIA AND ARAB IA

V . TURK EY AND SYR IA

V I“

. NORTH AFR ICA

V I I . EQUATOR IAL AFR ICA

V I I I . SOUTH AFR ICA

I ! . ABOR IGI NE S OF NORTH AND SOUTH AM ER ICA

x . AUSTRALASIA

x1 . ME LANE SIA AND POLY NE S IA

! I I . GRE ECE

X I‘I I . TH E DANUB IAN PR I NC IPAL IT I E S

! I V . RUSSIA

SCAND I NAV IA AND POLAND

CONTENTSCRAP.

! V I . GERMANY

X VI I . BOH EMIA,AUSTR IA AND HUNGARY

X V I I I . T HE TYROL AND SW ITZ ERLAND

! I ! . ITALY,SPA I N AND PORTUGAL

V XX . FRANCE,HOLLAND AND B ELGIUM

! ! I . ENGLAND AND WALE S

XX I I . SCOTLAND

XX I I I . IRE LAND

XX I V . T HE G IPSIE S AND T HE MORMONS

LIST O F ILLUST RAT IO N S

H I NDoo BR IDE AND BR ID EGROOM Frontz’

spz’

ece

PAGE

BRAHMIN WEDD I NG 6

A MOHAMM EDAN WEDD I NG I N I ND IA

A CI NGHALESE WEDD I NG ; JOIN I NG TH E THUMBS

BURMESE BR IDE AND BR IDEGROOM

A CH INE SE BR IDAL CHA IR

A CH I N ESE BR IDE

A JAPAN E S E WEDD I NG ; BR I NG I NG THE PRE SENTS .

A TURK ISH B ETROTHAL ENTERTA I NM ENT

CARRY I NG OF F TH E BR IDE,ABY SSI N IA

MARR IAGE BY CAPTURE,EQUATOR IAL AFR ICA

DEMAND ING A BR IPE, VANCOUVER, S I SLAND

BR IDEGROOM WALK I NG OVER H IS BR IDE ’S TR IBE SMEN,

HERVEY I SLANDS

A BOYAR BR IDAL F EAST,RUSSIA

LIST OF ILLUSTRATION S

A HARDANGER BR IDE,NORWAY

A WEDD I NG PARTY GOING T o CHURCH,NORWAY

TH E RANSOM,ALSACE

TH E CIV IL MARR IAGE,BLACK FOR EST

A WEDD ING PROCESSION IN AUSTR IAN POLAN D

THE BR ID E ’S D EPARTURE FROM HOM E

IMPROV ISATORE AT AN ITAL IAN WEDD I NG

S IGN ING TH E MARR IAGE CONTRACT,SPA I N

TH E MATE ’S WEDD I NG

A Q UAK ER WEDD I NG

MARR IAGE CUST OMS

CHAPTER I

IE i L doII htfil l—whe ther -t he Vedas ! and ! othe r

, ancient

sacred books of the! !

Hindus countenance the

pol am W 1c revails among“the rjeher Cl asses i n

tin-

i? d egradation of the

marriage ceremonies,which have descended from

remote ages,make their constant

,albei t useless

, pro

test . Thewhole Splrl t of their marriage ri tual i s

opposed to’

plurality Of W ives , and inculcates firm and

and”

Wi fe .i

T he

peasants and the-i

po orém fe ne ces

sarily restri cted to one W ife , and among them married

l ife is often very happy . Neither do the sacred

wri t ings appear to sanction the chi ld-marriages wh icare so prevalent and so inj urious .

In Hindu law the marriage- t ie i s very binding,an

may only be broken for some grave reason . If the

MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

W ife is drunken,or unfaithful to her spouse

,o r exces

sive ly extravagant , o r i f,after eleven years sh e bears

him no son,he may take a second wife ; but , even

then , his first wife st i l l rules the house . There are at

least five things essential to the marriage ceremony,

viz .

,the betrothal

,the gift Of the virgin

,the accept

ance,the seizure of the hand

,and the seven steps , or

sapm-

pzzd z'

.

As the girl ’s father,or guardian

,gives her away he

must say,in the presence of the Brahmins

,to the bride

groom ’s father, “ I give you , for your son ,my beauti ful

virgin daughter accept her therefore . ” The father of

the youth must reply,With my hand , with my voice ,

and with my body I j oyful ly accept thy daughter fo r

my son , and rel igiousl y receive her among my ownkindred . The girl ’s father then decl ares his tribe

,

and gives grains of ri ce t inged with red,and leaves o f

the betel plant to the bridegroom,declaring again that

he gives him h is daughter and promises to defray all

the expenses of the marriage . H e usual ly gives a

present of cows as wel l,and especial ly a certain stone

which is used as a Charm . I t is hardly necessary to

point out that i n a great country l ike India , with apopulat ion of nearly three hundred mil l ions

,and a

very large number of different races,the customs and

ceremonies attending marriage vary very considerably

we shall presently give a few selected examples of

curious customs,but at present we are deal ing W i th the

case of an ordinary or typical Hindu wedding .

Addressing the assembled Brahmins,o r priests , the

IND IA

father says,O Brahmins

,to this youth

,learned in the

Vedas,I give my daughter

,dressed in gay apparel

,and

adorned with gems . ” They answer , “ So let i t be .

The father—in—l aw,having taken the hand of his

daughter,now puts i t into the hand of the bridegroom

and pours over them water , sacred to V i shnu , which

has been previously blessed by a priest . This is

perhaps the most solemn and important of al l the

marriage ceremonies fo r the pouring of water,accord

ing to Eastern custom,makes a gift irrevocable .

Another important rite i s the tying on of the tali,

a j ewel set in gold,on the neck of the bride . In

India al l Hindu married women wear this ornament

as a S ign of their being in the married state . I t i s

fastened by a short str ing dyed yel low with turmeri c,

and composed of many fine threads . T o the guests,

sandal-wood,paste , perfumes , and flowers are offered

the couple receive congratulat ions from the assembly as

they prostrate themselves at their parents ’ feet to

receive a blessing . I n Northern India , part of the

ceremony consists i n tying a str ing or thread round the

wrist of the bride ; and with many of the races of

India the man and the Woman , or the boy and the girl ,as the case may be

,are tied together by the corners of

their garments and made to walk through the vil l age,

to signify to al l that they are tied together for l ife .In order to impress upon the bride the duty of com

plete submission to her husband , the wooden yoke of a

bul lock is laid l ightly for a moment o n her head . A

vei l i s then held up between her and the bridegroom

4 MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

and certain prayers,or verses

,are reci ted . I n these

they cal l upon the gods,the saints

,the trees and the

r ivers , to W i tness the un ion .

Then fol lows the bonam,or offering to Agni

,the

god of fire,i n which the bride and bridegroom take

together the seven steps, o r mpla amidst the

l oud chanting of the Vedas . This is an important

piece of symbol ism,for the act ion impl ies eternal

friendship .

I n India,as in so many other countries

,marrying a

wife means buying one . The father—in—l aw , of course ,gets the highest pri ce he can for his daughter. The

young man must st ipulate to pay a certain sum of

money . The bride,being only a Chi ld , has no voice in

the matter,and everything is arranged for her . The

young man thinks chiefly of the puri ty o f her caste,

while her relat ions are more anxious about his wealth,

and the disposi t ion of his mother ; a very important

matter,for the poor l i ttle bride

,when She comes to her

new home,i s ent irely under the rule of that importan t

person the motherin—law . I f,after the marriage has

taken place,the bridegroom does no t pay up “ l ike a

man,

” as the saying i s with us,he i s l iable to be

brought into court by an angry father- in—l aw . Or ,‘

more probably,the young wife has to be sent home as

a pledge unt i l the money is al l paid . I n other words ,she is pawned ! Among the poor people of India

there is much li t igat ion over such matters . Among

the rich the money received by the father is laid

out i n j ewels which become the bride’

s property ,

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6 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

alcove,or canopy

,with twelve pi l lars . This is a

common and useful appendage to the principal houses

in India,being erected before the door and covered

with boughs of trees,as a shel ter from the heat of the

sun . Under this al cove,gorgeously decorated for the

occasion , the young couple are seated with their faces

turned to the east . The married women then ad

vance and wave l ighted camphor before an image

to avert the “ evi l eye this ceremony,cal led am tz

'

,

may be otherwise performed . Al l the Hindu gods

are inv ited to the wedding,and requested to remain

the Whole t ime . The same prayer is made to the god ’s

ancestors,which rather suggests that the gods are only

deified heroes . The god of obstacles i s an important

person and great ly feared,S ince h is displeasure might

cast some impediment i n the way of a happy ending .

So they place his image under the pandal , or al cove , in

order that al l may be wel l .

The bridegroom must be able to show that he i s

pure,or free from S in

,but these l i tt le matters are

easi ly settled in a country where ceremony counts for

so much,and he is merely cal led upon to ofl

’

er,on the

second day, a gift of fourteen flags to one of the

Brahmins .

Then fol lows a l itt le piece of act ing , which must

strike the Western mind as very absurd,but is probably

connected with Brahmin notions of ceremonial puri ty .

The bridegroom professes an eager desire to quit the

vi l lage,upon a pilgrimage to Benares

,i n order that he

may wash in the sacred waters of the Ganges . He

IND IA 7

equips himself as a travel ler,and being suppl ied with

provisions for the j ourney,departs with instruments

of musi c sounding before him,and accompanied by

several of his relat ions and friends,as if he were real ly

proceeding on that holy adventure . But,no sooner

has he got out of the vi l lage than,upon turn ing to the

east , he meets his future father—in—l aw , who , of course ,begs him to give up his good intent ion

,and offers him

his daughter . The would—be pi lgrim readi l y accepts

the condit ions,and they return together to the house .

The bridegroom has done the right thing in offering

to go,so the father takes the wi l l for the deed

,and the

Brahmins doubtless are sat isfied .

The ceremonies are then al lowed to proceed,and the

next thing is the tying on of the thread , which is

fastened to the right wrist of the man and the left one

of the bride , to show that they are now tied together

for l i fe . Then the young man being seated with h is

face to the east,his father—in—l aw approaches

,and

,

looking steadi ly at him,fancies that he beholds in him

the great god V ishnu himself,and with this impression

actual ly makes an offering to him .

The father of the bridegroom must next fix h is

thoughts on al l the gods of the Hindus,naming each

one separately and he even adds the month,the day ,

the cardinal points of the compass,the woods

,the

mountains,and many other things . This is fol lowed

by the pouring of water over the couple,and the tying

on of the Mix, as described above . The ornament is so

highly honoured that they even offer incense to i t .

8 MARRIAGE'

CUSTOMS

Just before the tying on of the tall,the Brahmins put

a screen of si lk between the bride and bridegroom ,

while certain prayers are being reci ted .

Next,fire i s brought in

,and the honam, or sacrifice

to Agni,the god of fire

,i s performed ; the man and

the woman,hand in hand

,walk seven times round the

3 »fire,and so make the seven steps together— symbol

of everl ast ing friendship . Lastly , the man touches the

woman ’s ankle with a smal l stone,cal led the stone of

sandal,and i n so doing he must fix his thoughts o n

The Great Mountai n of the North,the nat ive pl ace

of the ancestors of the Brahmins . This l i tt le ceremony

wi l l be special ly in teresting to students o f ethnology

and etymology because the Sanscri t l anguage affords

ev idence that the original Hindus , o r some of them,

came from the north .

We must not omit to mention the eating together,

which is so important a ceremony among many peoples .

According to the late Abbé Du Bois,to Whose book we

are indebted,another ceremony is the sprinkl ing with

ri ce o f the bride and bridegroom,each standing in a

basket made of bamboo , whi le the one throws ri ce over

the other. This ceremony appears to be symbol i cal o f

fe rt i l i ty and abundance o f temporal blessings .

O n the third day , the astrologer points out to the

newly—marri ed pair the star Arwza’l mli,to impress upon

them the duty of fai thfulness . The bridal procession

takes p l ace at n ight , the bride being covered with j ewels

and precious stones . Fri ends and relations come out

o f their houses to hai l the young Couple , and women

! ND IA 9

endeavour to avert the “ evi l eye by the ceremonyof graft, or waving a lamp over the heads of the bride

and bridegroom .

The youthful wife is taken back to her father ’s

house,to l ive there unti l she has grown up and can

keep house for her husband .

When this epoch of her l i fe arrives , i t is made the

occasion fo r much feast ing and rej oi cing , and many

of the ceremonies above described are performed again .

In bygone days women were sometimes al lowed to

Choose their own husbands . Occasional ly a prince or

king would hold a swayémvar , or tournament , atwhich the fair princess would choose some knight wh otook h er fancy and showed great prowess . There i s

an old Indian fairy tale i l l ustrat ing the marriage—choice

ceremony : the fair princess placed a garland on the

neck of the young man who had won her heart .In old days the Brides of Veni ce ” were al l

married on the same day,and so also in some parts

of India young people may have to wai t fo r years

before they can get married . Thus,with the Kadava

Kumbi ofGuj erat an interval of nine,or even twelve

,

years elapses between one marriage season and another

When nine years have passed the pri es t consul ts the

goddess,to se e if he can obtain her consent . This

is the way they proceed : two bits of paper,one con

tain ing the word “ Ye s and the other the word“ No'

,are thrown before her

,and a virgin is asked

to take up one of them Should she take up the

one with the word “ Yes,i t i s i nterpreted as a co n

I O MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

sent fo r the celebrat ion of marri ages that season . But

i f unfortunately i t i s the one with “ No ” writteno n i t , the goddess is supposed to withhold her consent .

In that case they must wait two years before consul t

ing her again . But if,after that i nterval

,she agai n

appears to refuse,their patience becomes fairly ex

hausted,and they go on throwing the paper unti l a

favourable answer is obtained .

There are in India,as every one knows

,a large

number of Mohammedans ; but their marriage cere

monies W i l l be described under the head of Turkey .

Our i l lustration shows the bringing home of a Moham

medan bride the bearers have se t down their burthen,

and are taking a rest .

With the princes,raj ahs

,and the ri ch people

weddings are very expensive affairs , and presents are

given o n a princely scale . Thus,when Prithi—raj

carried off the daughter of Jye—Chand , her father

nevertheless gave him the richest gems,which he had

wo n i n vi ctory,pearls

,elephants

,and dyes . And

when the same raj ah married the daughter of Dahima

of Biana,her father gave him 8 beauti ful damsels

,

63 female sl aves , I O O Irak horses,2 elephants , I O

Shields,a pal let of S i lver for the bride , I O O wooden

images,100 chariots , and 100 pieces of gold ! The

desire of marrying into a higher family is so great

wi th them (as i t Often is in o ur own country and

Ameri ca) that a father is wi l l ing to make great sacri

fices to mark his sense of grat i tude to a son- in- l aw

for his condescension in marrying his daughter . I t

IND IA I I

seems that a dread of marriage expenses and pride of

race are among the causes leading to infanti cide . The

Kadava Kumbis have invented an ingenious device

by means of which the expenses of a wedding may be

very much reduced . If the parents fai l to find a rich

husband for their daughter size is solemnly married ta a

bum}; ef flowers , which is afterwards thrown into awel l ! The girl is now a widow

,so when next t ime

she real ly is married it counts as a second marriage ,and these all iances can be done Cheaply ! Another

way they have is to marry the girl to some man whoi s already marri ed

,o n the distinct und erstanding that

as soon as the ceremony is over he wi l l divorce her .

She can then be given in second marriage to any man

who wants to marry her . Peoplewho are determinedto do things on the cheap can general ly find ways

of doing so I

In Kangra , a distr i ct in the L ieutenant-Governorship

of the Punj ab,i s a hil l people with fair complexion

and good features,whose neighbours are polyandrous .

Here it is no t an uncommon thing for a man to sel l

his wife to another man and it is said that such agree

ments are sometimes executed on stamped paper and

presented at the courts fo r registration Among some

of the people o f India a wife is reckoned among a

man ’s “ avai lable effects,

” and can be turned into

money,as the saying is . So

,if a man owe money

to his neighbour he can , i f hard pressed , pledge his

Wi fe (o r his daughter) to the creditor , who may eitheraccept them or pass them on to some one else . O n

1 2 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

the debt being paid,the man may claim his wi fe

,and

any chi ldren born in the interval

Among the KO 1 tribes,and others

,the pri ce of a

wife is sometimes as high as forty head of catt le ; the

resul t i s that a girl may have to wai t a long time

before finding a husband . O ld maids therefore are

plent i ful .

These tribes have a ceremony called by some writers

Plant-marri age,the meaning of which is

,however

,

obscure . When an o ld maid is married , she Clasps a

mahwa tree,and the bridegroom a mango tree

,and ,

at the close of the ceremonies,the bridesmaids pour a

jar of water over the heads o f the pair , who then reti re

to change their wet garments .

I n the hi l l s of North and South Arcot and the

Salem distri cts (Madras Presidency) are the Malayalis ,

a t imid and harmless people,who have a most remark

able custom . A man who has young sons,mere

chi ldren,takes new wives for himself

, who are , however

,cal led his sons ’ wives

,and the chi ldren they bear

to him are cal led his sons ’ Chi ld ren . And so i t goes

on from o ne generati on to another . This appears to

be a re l i c of what i s cal led the Matriarchal system,

which st i l l prevai ls i n various countries,as once in India .

“ Marri age by capture ” was the rule of o ld,and

rel i cs o f this are to be found in various places . The

Mahi Kantha is a group o f native states under the

pol i ti cal agency o f the Government o f Bombay,but

subj e ct to a number of chiefs . The Posina Fai r i n

the North gives the Bhils of these parts a great

IND IA I 3

matrimonial opportunity,fo r i f a Bh i l succeeds in

taking the woman he wants to marry across the river

w i thout being discovered,their respect ive parents agree

to the match . But i f,on the other hand

,he i s found

out before they can cross the r iver,he i s severely

handled by the gir l ’s father . The Koli s also have

customs which appear to be surv ivals from the o ld

days of violence . The father general ly finds a bride

fo r his so n ; but , even when al l has been peaceful ly

and properly arranged,the young man must go

through the form of start ing to find a bride . When

matters have been sett led,the girl ’s father asks the

young man and his father to come and dine . During

the ceremony the women of the family strew grains of

corn on the threshold,and as the boy ’s father is leaving

the house they rush at h im as i f to beat h im,and

he,making for the door

,sl ips

,and fal l s down . So

important is this l i tt l e ceremony on his part that,

without it,no marriage would be considered lucky or

prosperous ! Only i t is curious that the girls should

show signs o f combat and resistance to the father and

no t to the bridegroom .

The Kurmis and others celebrate the marriage by

a pretended combat . The bridegroom sometimes

marks his forehead with blood , and here we seem to

have the origin of a S ingular and nearly un iversal

custom in India,namely

,the marking of the bride ’s

forehead with vermil ion . We find it cropping up

among the O o raons , who celebrate a chi ld—weddingsomewhat after this fashion . The uncles , who are

x4 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

very important personages,pi ck up the bride and

bridegroom and se t them astrid e o n thei r backs— j ust

as olde r people i n England some times play with their

young ones . O ne takes the l i ttle gir l and the other

the boy,and thus burdened they pretend to be “ gee

gees,and paw the ground

,as i f impatient to start o ff

at a gal lop . They exchange thei r burd ens and begin a

sham quarrel,whi ch ends in a prance of reconci l iation .

T he young people,who have been wel l rubbed with

o il,are presented with a l ighted lamp— emblem of

conj ugal l ove— the flame of which must be fed by

the husband . Then fol low two important ceremonies .

First,the bridegroom presses his to e upon the bride ’s

heel , while she throws herself backwards,her head

touching his shoulder . Secondly,he marks her brow

with a red stain from a drop of his blood , a solemn

act,which those outside announce by the discharge of

firearms . The parents present the “ cup Of l ove , out

o f which the two drink . These three symbols —the

loving- cup,the crimson mark

,and the conquering toe

,

are to be found in nearl y every region of India . Two

o f them are clearly rel i cs of the old way of marriage

by capture .

In central Ind i a we meet wi th a curious l i tt le custom

which perhaps serves to explain our habi t of giving

presents to bridesmaids . The Kurku girl s pretend to

resist the removal of the bride . When they get near

enough to the young man they pel t him with bal ls of

boi led ri ce,then coyly retreat

,followed of course by

the men . At the d oor of the bride ’s house they make

A C I NGALES E WEDD ING : JO IN I NG THE THUMBS . By J. W I L L IAMSON .


hurl ed stones and bamboos at the head o f the devoted

brid egroom unti l he reached the confines of his ownvi l lage .

I f a man and a woman have been l iving together,

and the man d ies,the woman is so l oth to be con

sid e red unmarried that she i s wil l ing to go through

some kind o f ceremony by which she may be,as i t

we re,sealed to him before his body is committed to

the earth— at l east among the Komati caste . And so

i t occasional ly happens that a marriage is performed

betwe en the l iving and the dead The sad intel l igence

o f her man ’s death is communicated to the neighbours °

a guru,o r priest

,i s summoned

,and the ceremony takes

place at once . According to a wri ter who once witne ssed such a proceeding , the dead body of the man

was placed against the outer wal l of the verand ah o f

the house in a si tting posture,attired l ike a bridegroom

,

and the face and hands besmeared with turmeric . The

woman also was clothed l ike a brid e,and ad orned with

the usual t insel ornament over the face , which , as wel l

as the arms,was daubed over with yel l ow . She sat

opposi te the dead body o f her l ate l amented partner

we cannot say husband , fo r the ceremony is not yet

done . Now she spoke to i t i n l ight unmeaning word s ,as seems customary on such occasions

,and then she

chewed bi ts of dry cocoanut and squirted them on

the face o f the dead man . This continued fo r hours,

and no t unti l ne ar sunset was the ceremony brought toa Cl ose . Then the head of the corpse was bathed and

covered with a cloth o f si l k,the face was rubbed over

IND IA 17

with some red powder,and betel leaves placed in the

mouth . Now she might consider hersel f married,and

the funeral procession started .

The cruel treatment of widows among the Hindus

i s the resul t of ancient superstit ion . The horrible

practi ce of Suttee, or burning al ive

,was on ly sup

pressed by the Indian Government about the year

1 830,and cases have occurred within the reign Of

Q ueen Vi ctoria . The custom was certain ly ancient ,though not so old as some of the nat ive codes .

Diod orus rel ates how the two widows of Ge teus,an

Indian general of Eumenes,disputed the honour ‘

of

being burned with the body of their late husband .

His description corresponds in every detai l with the

ceremony as performed in recent t imes . One of the

W ives,he says

,could not be burned because She was

about to become a mother. The other advanced to

the funeral pi le crowned with myrtle,adorned as fo r

a wedding,and preceded by her relat ives

, who sanghymns in her praise— al l of which no doubt would be

very comforting,but hardly l ikely to d imin ish the pain

of such a cruel death to any great extent . Having

bestowed her j ewels on friends and servants,She lay

down by the s ide of her husband ’s body and died

wi thout uttering a cry ! Early in the last century , at

the funeral of the Prince of Marava,al l his W ives

, to

the number of forty—seven , were burned on the pyre

with his body . The prince was eighty years of age

when he died,and his body , ri chly adorned , was placed

i n a large grave fil l ed with wood . The unfortunate

I 8 MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

vict ims were covered with precious stones,and at first

appeared very brave,but as soon as the flames reached

them they uttered loud cries and rushed on each other.

Then the onlookers endeavoured to diminish their

suffering by stunning them with pieces of wood which

they hurled at them . When al l was over,and these

poor wretches had j oined their lord and master in the

spiri t world— for that was the idea in al l such sacrifices— their bones and ashes were gathered up and thrown

into the sea. In t ime a temple was erected to theirhonour on the site where they perished . These hideous

and revolt ing pract i ces were not compulsory,

the

law did not enforce them,but i t was considered a point

of honour for the widow to die on the funeral pyre of

her husband,even when her relations endeavoured to

dissuade her from so doing . Death,however painful

,

was considered preferable to l iving in a kind of disgrace .

What wil l not mortals do to avoid contempt ?

I n Bengal the woman was bound firmly to the

corpse,and the two bodies were covered with bamboos .

I n Orissa the widow threw hersel f on the pi le,which

was i n a pit or grave . In the Deccan she sat on the

pil e,and placed the head of her husband on her knees .

Somet imes she was overthrown by the fal l of heavy

logs of wood attached with cords to posts pl aced at the

four corners of the pi le . The smoke from the burning

logs often suffocated the vi ct im before the flames reached

her,and i t i s said that

,i n some provinces , sh e was

previously intox i cated with opium . But , i f none of

these precautions were taken , i t might happen that she

BURMA 19

would rush madly out of the flames,i n which case the

spectators cruel ly thrust her back

In Burma there are no chi ld—marriages , and

the people seem happy in their domesti c affairs .

Although girls are considered to be the property of

their parents,they are very seldom constrained to marry

a man against their wi l l . The young men,too

,make

l ove prettv much where their fancy leads them , Ob

taining first the consent of the parents,which is

general ly given,unless there is any doubt on the score

of their character . Courtship does not now last as

long as i t did formerly . The period of day between

e ight in the evening and m idnight is cal led court ing

t ime ; i n Burmese i t i s“ Loo-Aye- Ze i—thee—kem,

” which

seems somehow to have a romantic ring about i t,or is

i t only the soothing sound of these words , so strange to

our ears ? A lamp placed i n the easement intimates

that the young lady is “ at home ” and prepared to

receive bachelors . I t is all very correct and proper,

for the mother i s looking on not far off. Moreover,

the damsel probably receives as‘

many as five or six

together,on the pr inc iple of safety in numbers . The

Burmese mother is a great match-maker,but she uses

persuasion rather than compulsion . If,however

,she

should try constraint , i t would probably be in vain ,for i n that case ei ther the girl elopes with the lover

o f her choice,or she goes and hangs hersel f. The

women carry on most of the trading and shop

ping,and are excel lent housekeepers

,as M r . Rudyard

2o MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

Kipl ing shows in one of his short stories of Indian l ife .

I t cannot be said that there is any true marriage

ceremony , but the fol lowing account condensed from“With the Jungle Folk in Burma

,a most readable

and interesting book by our friend M r. E . D . Cuming,

wil l give the reader a good idea of how these affairs

are managed

You know the purpose of our coming ? said the

young man ’s father,as o ne who knows he is wel come .

We are pleased to see you,said the girl ’s father

,

and his wife murmured words to the same effect,

though , properly speaking , the woman should say

nothing on this occasion .

Our son loves your daughter,and wishes to make

her his wife .

”

We are honoured much honoured, was the

reply of the girl ’s father, who went on to say :

“ I

bel ieve,good neighbour

,I am sure

,that your admir

able son i s of good blood ; that in his family , on

either side,has never been any taint of sl ave-blood .

That none of his forefathers have been king’s

sl aves P“ There is no S l ave—blood in our fami ly , was the

reply .

No,surel y not

,murmured the assembled friends

and relations .

And we are also sure that he has i n h is veins notaint of the Grave—digger class P

Neither the ancestors of myself nor of my woman

have had any strain of Grave-digger caste . ”

BURMA 2 1

Surely not,again murmured the friends and

rel at ions .“ He is a fine young man . We feel sure he is

healthy P

To which his parents reply,

“ Our son does not

suffer from leprosy,nor scrofula

,nor from other

evi l disease that is properly held d isgraceful . He is

Cl ean and healthy .

”

We are sure of i t .

Well,then

,good neighbour

,i n the presence of

our friends and neighbours we consent to your

excel lent son’s marriage with our daughter ; and weShal l pray that long li fe

,fert i l ity

,and much happiness

attend their union .

“ I t i s good .

”

Then the headman said

We al l wish the young people freedom from

accident s,diseases

,and misfortunes

,and very great

happiness .

After this the conversat ion became general,and

everybody agreed that the match was most suitable,

and sure to be a happy one . But,of course

,they al l

expressed surprise (as was proper) , and professed not

to have had any idea that such a thing was impending

On returning home,the young man ’s mother said to

him,You wil l marry to-morrow

,I expect .

Yes,to—morrow

,good mother .

Next morning,before the sun was hot

,a cart with

al l the bridegroom ’s belongings arrived at the bride’ s

house,the young man himself leading the way,


returning with smi les the good wishes of the

neighbours,who stood o n their verandahs to see

him pass,the bul lock—cart squeaking and groaning

behind him .

Mah Pan,the bride

,wore her best tamein

,a white

si lk j acket,and a new pink si lk handkerchief about her

shoulders,carefully arranged that i t might not hide her

necklet .

Pho Lone,the bridegroom

,stepped into the house

,

where he was greeted by his father- in—l aw with thewords

,

“ The ri ce is ready,my son . Meanwhile

,the

bride ’s mother has se t on the floor a new lacquer tray

with a l i t tle boi led rice .

Pho Lone,si tt ing

,ate a mouthful

,and Mah Pan

,

taking her place bes ide h im,did the same . They

smiled at one another .“ I t i s done

,

” said the headman ;“ they are man

and wife .

At night,the young bachelors came and si lently

threwstones th ick and fast upon the thatch,j ust to

prove their envy .

Iri sh wakes,we know

,are far from dismal affairs

,

but no one ever heard of their being turned into occa

s ions fo r courtship and love—making in a publ i c manner,

and by a considerable number ofyoung people . Collee

t ive courtship,however

,appears to be the distinguishing

characteri st i c o f funerals among the Karens . These are

a people who l ive,fo r the most part , among the moun

tains o fBurma,though some of them have come down

KARENS 23

to the pla ins . Under ordinary circumstances they are

a quiet and peaceable people,but one branch of them ,

the Red Karens,are the most brutal savages

,committing

every atrocity except cannibal ism .

When one of the Karens dies,the probabi l i ty is that

h is relations are too much engrossed in other matters

to conduct the funeral ri tes and ceremonies . Perhaps

the harvest has no t been gathered in,or the weather is

to o cold or too wet,i n which case the girl s woul d no t

think of turning out i n their finery, as they are wont to

do on these occasions,that they may be wooed col lee

tively by the vi l lage swains . To the western mind this

might seem rather an awkward dilemma,but the Karens

have solved the di fficulty in a del ightfully simple manner .

The man is buried temporari ly,to be dug up again and

“ waked ” at some more convenient season ! Therefore,

when a Karen dies,he is promptly stowed away in a

hole in the ground,and the spot marked by stakes o r

a fence of cactus . I f a ri ch man , his body is burned— a safer plan

,because the dogs cannot then get at i t .

The final ceremony may take place within six months,

i f there are a large number ofyoung women waiting to

be married but otherwise there may be a delay o f two

or three years,o r even more

When the t ime has at l ast arrived,a platform of

bamboo is erected in front of the house where the

deceased l ived , and his bones are dug out of their

temporary grave . On this platform, o r stage

,

barbarously adorned with pieces of cloth,a l inen

sheet i s placed,

on which the remains are l aid .

24 MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

People from neighbouring vi l l ages come in l arge

numbers ; but , al though certain funeral ri tes are

performed ,these are postponed ti l l the young men

and maidens have done thei r courting and Chosen

the ir partners fo r l i fe . And so the occasion partakes

more o f the nature of a publ i c courting than of a

funeral . The proceedings are somewhat after thi s

fashion . The young men and the girls separate into

two choirs and seat themselves o n opposi te sides of

the remains . Family j ewels are displayed in great

profusion . The young men begin with a chorus

celebrat ing the beauties o f the Karen maidens,their

charm Of movement,and modest demeanour . To

this the gi rl s respond in a falsetto of the usual

d rawling character,accepting the eulogy of their

graces . These overtures are usual ly se t pieces , handed

d own from antiqui ty,

o r rend ered into the Karen

tongue from some popular Burmese play . Then the

young bachelors begin,each in turn

,and sing love

stri cken solos,cal l ing on the name of some part i cular

d amsel . Among an Eastern and poetic people , flowery

language i s on ly what might be expected o n such an

occasion so we need no t be surpri sed to l e arn that the

gi rl i s compared to a star,a flower

,o r a ruby . NO

painter could possibly do j usti ce to her charms ; she

would ruin the peace of mind of a hermit ! When

rej ected,the sui tor becomes plaintive— perhaps in the

be l ie f that “ pi ty is akin to love ” — saying that he can

ne i the r e at no r d ri nk , and wi l l assured ly die before the

morning ! Far from feel ing embarassed , the Karen

S IAM 2 5

maidens appear to be pleased at such expressions of

devotion . Their answers are usual ly of a somewhat

stereotyped character . The girl wi ll declare that i t is

a shameful thing not to be married,but that to be

divorced afterwards is much worse— “to be l ike a

dress that has been washed .

” Another wil l declare

that she i s not going to give herself away too cheaply .

She lets the suitor know that she i s not l ike a day dim

with the heat—haze,nor l ike a diamond that has lost

the foi l below to set i t off,nor l ike a peacock ’s tai l

draggled in the wet . All this means that the wrong

man has appl ied,and the lucky swain wi l l be a great

fool if her eyes do not let him know that,when his

turn comes,the answer wil l be favourable . A girl

seldom says “ No ’ outright ; they prefer a more

indirect and less crushing mode of refusal,expressed

in some such terms as “ Come to me when the ful lmoon appears on the first day of the month ,

”or Eat

your rice before i t i s cooked and come before dayl ight . ”

But these cases are except ional for,as a rule

,the girl

has made up her mind which young man she wi l l

accept,and the others wil l look elsewhere . The young

people have met before,and so matters are considerably

simpl ified . When al l the courting is over,they ret ire

and are married forthwith . Then the elders go on

with the funeral r i tes !

Marri ages in S iam take place at an early age . An

Engl ish traveller,S i r P . J . Bowring , states that he has

seen as many as five generations gathered round the

z o MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

head of a fami ly ! As in India and China, go

betweens o r match-makers are employed . Awedding procession in this country i s a very pi cturesque

affair , and o ne whi ch might wel l tempt an art ist to

choose the subj ect for h is canvas . When the nego tia

t ions have been nearly completed,the bridegroom travels

by water to the house of the bride—elect in a large

boat,gai ly adorned with flags , and laden with presents ,

such as garments for his future wife , plates , fruits , betel

nut,&C . In the centre is a huge cake , in the form of

a pyramid,and decorated with bright colours . The

musicians on board play as the boat glides along .

Arrived at hi s dest inat ion he lands,makes his way to

the house in order to make the final arrangements

and fix the happy day . There is no rel igious cere

mony : only a great feast , at which the musici ans

again perform .

Among the Jak fin tribes of the Malay Peninsula

an entertainment takes place o n the wedding—day at

the house of the bride ’s father,where the whole tribe

are assembled . The dowry , given by the man , i s

del ivered in their presence . A dance fol lows , i n the

midst of which the bride—elect darts off into the forest ,fol lowed by the bridegroom ; a chase ensues , during

which,should he fal l down or return without her

,

the match is decl ared to be “off,

” and the unhappy

youth meets wi th nothing but j eers from the whole

party . But,i f the tribe should happen to l ive o n the

shores of a l ake , the damsel i s given a canoe and a

SINAMBAU DYAK S 27

paddle , and al lowed a start of some distance . The

lover then goes off i n pursui t,and he must overtake

her,o r give up al l cl aim to her hand . The girl

,i t

need hardly be remarked,usually knows her own mind ,

and becomes a wil l ing capt ive . Somet imes there is

no stream or l ake conveniently near ; i n that case a

circle i s formed,the damsel i s stripped of al l but

a waistband,and given a start of half the circle . She

must run three t imes round without being caught,or

else become the man ’s wife .

Among the Sinambau Dyaks of Borneo there are

ways of court ing not unknown in European countries .

For instance,when a young girl has taken the fancy of

some man,he Shows his preference by helping her in

her dai ly labour in a Chivalrous manner only too rare

in Eastern countries . One day he wi l l carry a load of

wood for her ; another day he performs some other

useful task . O ccasional ly she receives a present from

her admirer . When this state of affairs has l asted for

some t ime,he resolves to declare his passion ; for

this purpose h e steals o ut at n ight to the house where

his l ady- love l ives,and gent awakes her as she

sleeps . Her parents sleep In the same room ; and i f

they approve of the suitor take no noti ce,pretending

to be asleep . If they have any obj ect ion to him he is

promptly told to depart . He brings with him betel

nuts and other food . Should the young woman accept

these , i t i s equivalent to saying she fancies him ; but

i f i t is otherwise,sh e tells him to stir the fire

,or to

28 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

l ight the lamp , which is only a pol ite way of bidding

him beat a re treat .

The marri age ceremony Opens with a l i tt le bi t of

symbolism . The bride and bridegroom are brought

out and made to s i t o n two bars of iron previously l aid

down on the ground . This act impl ies t hat the two

are being bound together with the iron band of

matrimony . The priest gives to each a cigar and

and some betel nuts,which they hold in their hands

whi le he waves two fowls over their heads,and i n the

course of a lengthy address invokes every blessing

upon them . The bridegroom then places the betel nut

in the mouth of the bride,and the C igar between her

l ips,and in this way he publ i cl y acknowledges her to be

his wife . The two fowls are then ki l led,and omens

taken from their blood . As among the Kaffirs and

others,the husband must never pronounce the name of

his father—in- l aw .

Among the Ahe ta of the Phi l ippine Isl ands , when

a man wishes to marry a girl,her parents send her

before sunrise into the woods . She has about an

hour’s start,after which the lover goes off to seek

her. I f he succeed in finding her and bringing her

back before sunset,the marriage is acknowledged . I f

not,he must abandon al l cl aim to her

These are not to be regarded as instances of

marriage by capture pure and simple,aswe se e i t

at the present day among the Esquimaux o r the

aboriginal Austral ians,but as ceremonies in imitation

CHAPTER I I

HE l ives of the Celestial s,as the Chinese style

themselves,are very much ruled and i nfluenced

by certain notions with regard to spiri ts and the spiri t

world . Their passionate desi re for male chi ldren is

essential ly a rel ig ious sent iment . N o t only d o they

consider , as the Jews of o ld did,that a man with a

large family is highly blessed,but they bel ieve that

the spiri ts of the departed are rendered happy by the

homage received at the hands of their male posteri ty .

The worship of ancestors and parents is a very essen

tial part o f their rel igion,and part i cularly interest ing

as i l l ustrat ing a primit ive phase in rel ig ious ideas . The

young people are taught that i t is a sacred duty to

marry and bring up Chi ldren, mo le Chi ldren . At

first sight this seems al l very wel l ; but unfortunately

i t is one of the reasons why the ri ch are al lowed to

have more than one wife— a custom undoubtedly

tending towards that degradation of women whi ch i s

one of the saddest features of Chinese l ife . Parents

expect al l their chi ldren to marry,whatever may be

the state of their heal th . Archdeacon Gray,i n h is

CH INA 3 1

well-known H istory of China , records the case of a

young man belonging to a most i nfluent ial family in

Canton,whose parents were informed by the fami ly

physician that he had but a very short t ime to l ive .

They therefore at once selected a day for his marr iage .

On that d ay his bride—elect was brought to the house

with al l the pomp and parade attending a wedding .

The ceremony was no sooner over than the bridegroom

was led back to his si ck chamber where,i n a few days

,

he died .

The Chinese nowmarry very young,though this

appears to be contrary to the usages of antiqui ty and

their Book of R i tes . Here i t is laid down that a man

at twenty is not at his best ; his reason is not fully

developed— a truth which seems obvious enough,when

we remember what undergraduates at our own Univer

si ties are at this age . The age recommended is thirty .

At forty a man may be a magistrate i n a small way

and at fifty he may be entrusted with some very

responsible post . No lady may marry unti l she i s

fourteen years of age , but to be sti l l unmarried at

twenty—three is considered very wrong . I t is a com

mon thing for parents to arrange marriages for their

children during infancy : and there are cases where two

friends make a solemn promise,or take an oath

,to

unite in marriage the chi ldren of di fferent sexes that

may be born to them . I t may perhaps be thought that

such an arrangement is ent irely unknown in our own

country,but such is not the case

,fo r the writer has

been informed on very good authori ty that the famous


natural ist Waterton married the daughter of an

intimate friend,to whom he was pledged before her

birth The marriage was a happy one while i t lasted,

but Mrs . Waterton died a year or so afterwards .

A mandarin is not allowed to marry a woman in the

province over which he bears rule . This lawwas madeto prevent one fami ly from obtaining undue influence

over other famil ies in the same district . Should he

disobey this rule , or even take a secondary wife in

his own distr ict , the marriage is forthwith declared

void,and

,what is worse

,he is “ l i able ” to receive

eighty blows with the sti ck ! Whether he actual ly

rece ives so degrading a punishment,for a man of h is

rank,we wil l no t undertake to say . The rule may be

more honoured in the breach than in the observance,

”

and offi cial l i fe is so corrupt that he can probably find

some back-door way of escape . Actors,pol i cemen

,

boatmen,and slaves

,are forbidden to marry out of

the ir own C lass . Men and women may not marry

during the t ime of mourning for a relative . Marriages

take place at all t imes of the year,but the eighth

month is considered the most favourable . There is

therefore a marriage season,as i n I ndia . When this

time comes round, books contain ing songs in honourof matr imony are to be seen in the bookstal ls . The

Chinese appear to be firm bel i evers i n the doctrine

that marriages are made in heaven the reason for

this probably l ies in the fact that they are thorough

fatal ists,and so i t seems to them quite credible that

parents,i n arranging the marriages of their Chi ldren ,

CH INA 33

are acting under the influence of fate o r the wi l l of

heaven .

O ccasional ly i t happens that,when a marriage has

been arranged for a young man by his fami ly , the

parents of the aflianced l ady delay to make the

necessary arrangements for the wedding — perhaps on

account of their poverty . The would—be bridegroom

becomes impat ient,and

,if he considers that there is

no good reason for such delay,takes the law (or rather

the girl) into his own hands , and carries her off by

main force . Thus we have another rel i c of the ancient

usage of marriage by capture . Certain relat ives , or

trusty friends,go with him

,to help i f their aid should

be required . He must do i t himsel f, and so , having

obtained an ordinary sedan Chair,he l ies in wai t near

her house . A blanket is also considered necessary , and

this is thrown over her as soon as she appears on the

scene— possibly by request . ” Having thus seized his

bride,he quickly makes off to his own home . No one

interferes,unless i t be her parents or brothers

,but they

only do so i n a half—hearted kind ofway. The young

people are betrothed,so i t is all right .

In some cases a mere hint of abduct ion is suflicient

to bring the reluctant parents to terms . On the arrival

of the bride at her new home , the wedding is celebrated

much in the usual way . There is,however , a d anger

lest he should carry Off the wrong girl,especially as the

marriages are al l arranged by match—makers . I t is highly

necessary for him to be careful,for a mistake of that

sort would lead to prosecution and a heavy punishment .


Although , as a rule , marriages i n China are arranged

between the respective famil ies,and

,i n many cases

,the

bridegroom never sees his wife unti l the marriage day,

yet every rule has i ts exceptions . Love—matches and what

we cal l runaway marri ages are no t altogether unknown .

Betrothed young ladies have been bold enough to

elope with some other swain ; i t may be the son of a

next-door neighbour who has already won the girl ’sadmirat ion— perhaps even her heart . But

,alas ! the

penal ties of the pri son-house awai t them if they are

discovered . Consideri ng h owmarriages are usuallymade

,i t is no t surpris ing to find that peace and

harmony seldom reign at home . To say nothing

of the many causes of j ealousy and discord arising

from the presence o f several secondary wives—" except

among the poor— it must be ev ident that two people

who ,before marri age

,were total strangers to each

other,cannot be expected to l ive in perfect happiness

together . The poor women have indeed much to bear.

They l ive i n great subj ect ion to their masters,who

often become fearful tyrants . In some parts of the

country,a man is so afraid of being considered

“ mild ” that he wil l even beat h is wife in publ i c,

j ust by way of showing to his fri ends and neighboursthat he means to be master in his own house . The

Abbé H ue,who was a Jesui t missionary in China for

many years,and had special opportunities for studying

the people and their ways,says that he once sawa

young woman covered with blood and apparentl y

dying . On making inqui ries,he learned that her

CH INA 35

husband had been beating her because he imagined

that the neighbours were l aughing at him for not

having done so before .

With regard to j ealousy and intrigues,Archdeacon

Gray confirms the testimony of M . H ue .

“ Many

indeed,

” he says,

“ are the heartrending scenes whi ch

I have witnessed in such homes . ” Upon the false

accusat ion of a rival,the Chinese husband frequently

expels a wife from his house,or sel l s her to some one

else . A few young women are so keenly al ive to the

h ideous wrongs infl i cted on their sex that,with a

courage which is much to be admired,they altogether

refuse to enter the bonds of matr imony . The same

missionary says that in one street in a suburb of

Canton,he knew four famil ies in which there were

ladies who refused to marry . Some become nuns,

others even commit sui cide . Fo r example,during the

reign of Taou—kwang,fifteen girls wh o were betrothed

,

met together and resolved to die . They flung them

selves into a tributary stream of the Canton R iver near

the vi l lage where they l ived . Their tomb near F0

Chune,i s cal led “

th e tomb of the virgins . I n 1 873eight young girls

,arrayed in their best attire

,S imi l arly

put an end to their l ives in the darkness of the night .

I t is very l ikely that with in the l ast thirty years or

more,th ings may have somewhat improved owing to

contact wi th European nations , and perhaps the in

fluence of missionaries . But there can be l i t tle doubt

that when M . H ue wrote his experiences some thirty

years ago,the lot of most Chinese women was very


unhappy . These are his words,

“ The condition of

Chinese women is most pit iable ; suffering , privat ion ,contempt , al l kinds of misery and degradation , se ize on

her i n the cradle,and accompany h e r to the tomb .

H er birth is commonly regarded as a humil iat ion and

a disgrace to the fami ly— an ev ident sign of the

maledi ct ion of Heaven . If she be no t immediately

suffocated , a girl i s regarded and treated as a creature

radi cally despi cable,and scarcely belonging to the

human race . ”

The principle of co—operat ion,or mutual help , i s no t

unknown in the Celestial Empire,where both weddings

and funerals often involve poor people i n a ruinous

expense . When a family cannot command enough

ready money to pay the cost of a wedding properl y

conducted in a style suitable to i ts social posi tion ,a kind of Society is formed for the purpose of

col lecting the necessary amount . A friend,or relat ive

,

interested in the case “ takes the hat round ,” as we

should say. The o ld Engl ish and Scotch “ Penny

Wedding ” was also conducted on the principle of

mutual help (see Scotland , p .

On the Canton and other rivers a large population

l ives on floating islands of t imber , or reeds ski l ful ly

twisted together . These people are possibly of a

different race,but their origin is involved in obscuri ty

By the Chinese they are looked upon as “ outsiders ,o r pariahs ; their Chi ldren are not al lowed to attend

the usual examinat ions . Their women are cal led

Suee-Kz'

,or water—fowl but

,nevertheless

,the despised

38 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

I have received with respect the marks of your

goodness . The choi ce that you deign to make of my

daughter to become the wife of your son shows me

that you esteem my poor and cold family more than

i t deserves . My daughter is coarse and stupid , and I

have no t had the talent to bring her up wel l ; yet I

shal l nevertheless glory in obeying you on this occa

sion . You wil l find written o n another page the name

of my daughter , and that of h er mother , with the day

of her birth .

When he receives the presents and the information

that a day is fixed for the wedding,the young man ’s

father replies in these terms

I have received your last resolution . You wish

this marriage to take place,and I am only sorry that

my daughter has so l i tt l e meri t,and that She has no t

had al l the education desirabl e . I fear she i s good for

nothing yet,nevertheless

,since the augury is favour

able , I dare not disobey you . I accept your present ,I salute you,

and I consent to the day appointed for

the wedding . I wi l l t ake care to make due preparat ion .

”

These pol ite letters are of such pecul iar interest,and

so different from our modern matter—Of- fact epist les ,that we venture to put before the reader anotherspecimen

,couched in very flowery l anguage . I t is

given by Archdeacon Gray as a specimen,and is o ne

of two such documents which fel l into his hands . H is

translat ion of i t i s as follows“ The sun has long since r isen

,and the brightness

CH INA 39

of I NS rays i l l umines the house Wherein resides the fair .

At thi s hour,too

,she

,l ike the sun

,has left her couch

and att ired hersel f i n a costume becoming the hour of

the day,and her rank and station in l ife . Her face

has gazed upon the mirror,whi ch has reflected back

upon her the beautiful features of whi ch i t is possessed .

I ndeed,al l nature has now assumed a beauti ful aspect

,

and al l creatures,as is d esigned by nature

,are now

pairing . I write this as an evidence of my respect

and devotion . Permit me,therefore

,respectful ly to

congratulate you,my venerabl e relative

,whose honour

able family has resided for so many ages i n Seng—Moon,

or Yut H o ee,where i ts respected members have ever

been distinguished for their l i terary attainments,their

essays being written in a style almost unparalleled .

Further,the essay of your son in parti cular has

Obtained for him high l iterary honours ; but no

wonder,as your ancestors were one and al l men of

dist inct ion,and your descendants

,therefore

,cannot be

otherwise than men of renown . Your own rank is

also great,and your son wi l l prove a worthy successor

of the same . I,for my part , have been from boyhood

slothful and indigent . I wander through the world as

one without any fixed purpose,and the rank which I

hold is of a degree more honourable than I d eserve .Your daughter is gentle and virtuous

,and as for my

son ,he is so weak in intel lect as to be unworthy of

her . But,as you , upon hearing the words of the

match-maker,

o r go—between

,thought him worthy

,

and at once consented to the engagement,i t i s only

40 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

right that the union should take place . There wi l l be

unbroken fri endship between me and you after the

celebration of the marriage rites of our Children .

This is the day appointed fo r me to give,and for you

to receive the customary presents . I therefore beg to

forward them herewith . They are,however

,of a very

ordinary kind,and of no value . Indeed

,I only

forward to you,together with a few simple things

,a

wooden hairpin,and I am in truth ashamed that I have

no j ewels,precious stones

,and si l k fabrics to present .

You wil l,I am sure

,readi l y excuse me . When these

,

the prel iminary ceremonies,have been Observed , we

shal l anxiously awai t the wedd ing—day .

”

The period immediately preceding the happy (P) d ayi s o ne of l amentat ion for the bride elect

,her sisters

,

lady friends,and attendants . She must frequently

declare that the thought of l eaving her parents i s

more than she can bear ; death i tself would be

preferable ! And when we consider what Chinesewives have to put up with

,these demonstrat ions of

gri ef may,after al l

,be part ly genuine . Ten to fifteen

d ays is the t ime usual ly al lowed for such an expression

of fil ial l ove,but sometimes i t is prolonged fo r a whole

month . The Jewish people of o ld had a similar custom ,

as the fol lowing text wi l l Show :“ And She shal l put

the raiment of her captivi ty from off her,and shal l

remain in thine house,and bewai l her father and

he r mother a ful l month ”

(Deut . xxi .

On the night preceding a wedding the young lady ’s

attendants make such loud demonstrat ions of grief as

CH INA 4 1

to d i sturb many o f their neighbours . On some lucky

day her parents send the trousseau and many art i cl es

o f furni ture to the bridegroom ’s house . This is done

with considerabl e ostentation,for the father i s anxious

that everybody should be made aware of his generosi ty .

The things are carried in process ion through the streets

by men in red tun ics . On the marri age day a wedding

breakfast is prepared at the young man ’s house . Tables

are arranged at the east and west sides of the din ing

hal l . Four wine cups,usual ly made of gourds

,are

placed o n a table near the door o f the house . These

are cal led lzap fez m, or “ unit ing cups . ” Another

table in the courtyard contains refreshments for the

bridegroom,who now appears in the visi tors ’ hal l .

Here he kneels down and bows to his father,knocking

his head on the ground six t imes,receives at his hands

a cup of wine,and is told to send for his bride in the

fol lowing words : “ Go,my son

,and seek your wife

and behave in al l things with prudence and wisdom .

Years ago the young man went to fet ch his bride, or

met her procession on the way to his house ; but this

i s rarel y done now . So he merely sends t heo r sedan—chair

,whi ch I s often ri chly carved and highl y

ornamented,and alwayS coloured red . I t i s brought

to her house (sometimes on the preceding day) i n a gay

procession of servants and musi cians . Various emblems

are here used,each of which has an appropriate mean

ing . One is a smal l orange—tree heavi ly laden with

fruit , and with strings of money hanging from i ts

branches , emblematical of a large family and much

42 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

worldly wealth . A picture of the kee- Zurz , a fabulous

quadr'

uped , i s borne under a canopy , and very often i t

figures upon the bride ’s chair also . This beast,they

say,always appears when a wise man is born and

SO i t i s hoped that a sage may be born from the union .

O ther signs are a goose and a gander,emblemati c of

conj ugal fai thfulness (compare the Japanese two phea

sants) , and a dolphin , which means wealth and rank .

Men in red tunics carry red boards on poles displ aying

in letters ofgold the t i t les o f the bride and bridegroom ’s

ancestors . Some of the attendants carry torches,others

large red l anterns contain ing l ighted candles (l ights are

bel ieved to keep away evi l spiri ts ) and red umbrel l as

and fans . I t i s a pi cturesque affair .

S i nce marriage is held in such high honour, every

one must make way for the procession , even man

darins ; any one who does no t i s l iable to be beaten .

The friend of the bridegroom,or “ best man

,

” as

we should say, bears a letter written on red paper to

the bride,bidding her come . This she must careful ly

keep ; i t is regarded much as“ marriage lines ” are

with us . The bride enters the visi tors ’ hal l,where her

parents are wait ing for her . To them she makes

Obeisance (or performs the !cow—tow) ; a cup Of wine

is given her,out ofwhich she drinks , first pouring out

a few drops as a l ibation,after the manner of the

Greeks and Romans . While sti l l kneel ing , the father

exhorts her to obey the commands of h er father and

motherin- l aw,and holds forth on the dut ies of

husbands and wives The mother does the same

44 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

takes place later,as we shall see . Heaven and earth

are also adored . This act i s very importan t,so much

so that when peopl e wish to express that a certain per

son i s married , they commonly say , He has adored

the heavens and the earth .

I n the bridal Chamber are the orange tree,with i ts

strings of money and the burning tapers that formed

part of the procession . The two salute each other and

take food together,namely

,tea and cake . At seven

o ’ clock in the evening a grand feast i s prepared by the

bride,who waits on her new parents as a servan t .

Having presented a cup of wine to her father—in—l aw,

she kneels at hi s feet and prostrates hersel f,knocking

her head on the ground . So also to her motherin- law .

I t is then her turn to be entertained with food . A cup

of wine is presented to her by the mother—in—l aw ,but

before receiving i t she duly makes her Obei sance . In

some parts of China the couple retire to their private

chamber to dine .

I n the d istri cts around Canton they have a singular

custom,according to which neighbours

,friends

, or even

strangers,are al l owed to come in and se e the bride

during the evening . Th is 18 a trying ordeal,and

appears not to be infl i cted on brides of good family o r

daughters of offi cials . The people who come in pass

remarks about her with singular freedom,and in a loud

tone of voice . The remarks are not always compl i

mentary,and often in very questionable taste . But she

must take no not i ce,and behave in al l things with the

greatest composure . Strangers and friends may ask

CH INA 45

her riddles,and whenever she fai ls to give a correct

answer she must pay a forfei t of cakes . In this way theunfortunate bride is often kept up half the night . The

husband is absent during the evening,for he would

very l ikely take offence at some of the remarks passed

upon his wife . In many distri cts of the province of

Canton the bride and bridegroom separate after the

ceremonies,and must wai t about three years before they

can l ive together.

On the third day,at an early hour

,the newly

married couple worsh ip their ancestors in the ancestral

hall,where

,on a tab le

,are placed the ancestral tablets .

Looking towards these,the husband ’s father pours out

l ibat ions and reads aloud a letter to the spir its of the

ancestors,which is somewhat as fo llows ° “ My son

has married,and all the ceremonies attendant upon

such an occasion having been duly observed , I now

therefore give command to him and his wife to render

you homage,in the hope of propit i at ing you and pre

vai l ing upon you to grant them many blessings .

The husband and wife kneel before the tablets and

prostrate themselves . They must also pay homage to

the husband ’s parents,the uncles

,and the aunts .

On the same day i t is their duty to pay a visi t of

ceremony to the wife’s parents

,accompanied by

numerous servants carrying boxes of cake and fruits,

roasted pigs and fowls . These are very important,

and doubtless must be regarded as rel i cs of marriage by

purchase . Such presents,i n many parts of the world

,

are the Chief part of a marri age ceremony .

46 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

I t may , perhaps , not be o ut o f place here to

mention a very singular custom which is common

both to the Tartars and Chi nese . Marko P010, i n

h is famous book,says

,speaki ng of the former

people,that when a boy and girl diewho are betrothed

to each other (rather a rare occurrence) the parents

nevertheless arrange a grand wedding between the lad

and the lass,j ust as i f they were al i ve

,and make a

regular contract ! When the contract papers are made

o ut,they put them in the fire

,i n order that the

betrothed ones,nowi n the spiri t world

,may look

upon each other as man and wife ! The respect ive

parents then consider themselves relations by marriage .

A dowry i s even given,and those who pay i t cause

i t to be painted on pieces of paper and then put

them in the fire,i n the bel ief that in th is way the

dead person wi l l get all the real articles i n the

other world . According to Navarete,th is is also a

Chinese custom . I t was described to him by a

Jesui t,F . M ichael T rigautius , who l ived several years

i n the provi nce of Shansi . The parents send the

usual presents with much ceremony and music , as i f

the young couple were al ive . After this they put

the two co ffins together,hold the wedding dinner ,

and lay them together i n o ne tomb . The respective

parents,from this t ime forth

,are looked upon , not

merely as friends , but as relatives j ust as they

would have been had their chi ldren really married

in l ife . Gray,who wi tnessed such a ceremony , gives

a somewhat different account . According to him

CH INA 47

the effIgies of the young people in paper were

burned .

I f a Chinese girl die after o r during her be

tro thal,and before marri age

,the young man goes

through a marri age ceremony at h is own house,

the bride being represented by a paper effigy made

by her parents . This is burned by the bridegroom ,

wh o erects a tablet to her memory— an honour

forbidden to an unmarried person . In so large an

empire we are sure to find occasional di fferences i n

the local usages . The sad event we are now deal ing

with affords a case in point . Thus,according to

another wri ter,they observe a custom cal led asking

for her shoes . H er fiemeé goes to the house of

her parents,and

,with tears running down h is cheeks

,

approaches the coffi n in which she l ies . He asks

fo r a pair of shoes recently worn ; these are , of

course,given . He then proceeds home with them

,

having three l ighted sti cks of incense in h is hands .

Arrived there,he informs h er spiri t of the fac t , and

puts the i ncense in a censer. A room is then Chosen in

which he places a table and a Chair,and the prec ious

souvenir i s placed on,o r under

,the Chair . On the

table he puts a pair of l ighted candles,and the censer

with the incense brought from h er home . At th is

l i ttle shrine,

o r altar , i ncense is burned for two

years,after which a tablet to her memory is placed

in the niche containi ng the ancestral tablets of his

family . I n that way sh e i s supposed to become his

wife,and her affl i cted parents are satisfied . Girls


are o f so l i ttl e account that we may suppose thatthe parents are not part icularly gri eved . I f

,on the

other hand , the young man should die , that is , o f

course , qui te another matter ! I II that case,hi s

fiancee must l ive as an old maid i n the house of his

parents t i l l the end of h e r days ! Should she l ive

beyond sixty years,her friends and relatives hold her in

great honour . I t is then usual fo r them to mark their

appreci ation of her great v irtue by erecting to her

a monumental arch . The imperial Government c on

tributes towards the fund establ ished for th is purpose .

A Chinaman calls h is brother’s male ch i ldren hi s“ sons

,but his s ister’s ch i ldren he calls h is

“ nephews . A curious rel i c of bygone days is the

ceremony of l i fting the bride over the threshold of

her new home . We find this also in Great Bri tain

and other countries : i t i s supposed by some to be

a rel ic of marriage by capture (see p . No

two persons of the same name may marry i n China .

Widows who refuse to marry again , o r rather to be

sold again,are held in great honour . A betrothed

maiden whose fiemee’

dies,i s much esteemed i f she

buries herself i n a l i felong sorrow . But she can

win far greater glory by committing suic ide l— a

custom which of course i s not recommended for men .

They are never considered superfluous ! In order to

encourage such exemplary and useful self- effacement ,tablets are erected in the temples to the memory of

young girls who have been so virtuous as to ki l l

themselves o n the tombs o f their betrothed ones ,

CH INA 49

and twice a year,certain mandarins make oblations

i n their honour . Even at the present time,widows

are known to put an end to their l ives,but those

who do so are generally without chi ld ren or relatives .“ In 1 857the Pekin Gaz ette pub l i shed a decree

according a tablet to the memory of the wife of

a mandarin who had poisoned herself o n hearing

of the d eath o f her husband in a battle against

the rebels . I n a country where female i nfantic ide

i s practised,one need not be surprised at such

deeds . The Chinese are a terribly cruel nation,

in spi te of their highly l i terary education,and

appear to take a delight in witnessi ng executions .

These unfortunate widows,i f desirous of obtain ing

high honour,are expected to ki l l themselves i n

publi c with great pomp and solemnity . A month

before the fatal day,the widow parades the town

in this fashion : Two executioners head the pro

cession,then come music ians

,then men dressed in

coarse l inen tuni cs with hoods,carrying parasols

,

l i ttle pagodas,boxes of perfumes

,and streamers .

After them,a third executioner , followed by another

group bearing poles surmounted by fantasti c an imals .

At the end of the procession is a mandarin ’s palanquin,

surrounded by numerous servants , of both sexes,

dressed in mourning,that i s

,i n grey l inen . The

heroine or widow si ts in the palanquin,dressed i n

red,and wearing a blue crown . Her robe of sat in

is r ichly ornamented . But all this to—do is merely

prel im inary,and by way of announcement or invi

50 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

tatio n . On the day appointed the tragedy takes place

i n the presence of a great crowd .

The manner i n which a wife is selected fo r the

Emperor furnishes a remarkable i nstance of the di f

ference between Chinese and Western ideas . Girls are

by no means desirous -O f being chosen fo r empress and

weari ng the crown ! Parents also have no such

ambition for their daughters and for very good reasons—not that they fear a fate l ike that of the wives of

Henry the E ighth,but because when a young woman

has been chosen by the Emperor for his bride,and She

has been crowned queen,he keeps her i n such seclusion

in his palace that her relations seldom or never see her .

And,not unnaturally

,they think that crowns are dear at

the price . Also i t brings them into a posi t ion attended

with many serious d rawbacks , and even dangers hence

there are ' d iffi culties -in . the way of a Manchu em

peror o btaining/a b rid e . He acknowledges no other

king as his so no pri nce ’s daughter can be h is

wife . He must s elect his wi fe from “ the people,

”

which seems strange' in a country where rank is of so

much importance . I t is recorded that in recent t imes,

when i t was necessary to select a bride fo r a young

emperor,the two dowager empresses issued orders to

al l the chiefs who had daughters of the desired age to

send them to the palace . But , strange to say, when the

day came,very few presented themselves All sorts of

pol i te excuses were made by the parents . Some al leged

that their daughters were crippled , others that they were

bl ind . In some cases lameness was successfully imitated ,

CH INA 5 1

o r deformities art ific ially produced . To such an extent

was this carried that the empresses gave express orders

that the lame and the halt,the bl ind and the dumb

,were

to be sent to the palace . The result was that on the

day fixed about six hundred or seven hundred girls

appeared,and of these about fifty were selected after

a first inspection . I t i s hardly necessary to add that

none of them were halt o r lame o r bl ind or deaf The

names of al l were taken and the Character and posi t ion

of their parents inquired into . Their horoscopes were

carefully calculated— a very important matter . After

the second inspect ion,thirty were chosen out of the

fifty . These were honourably entertained at the palace,

and watched so that their individual trai ts could be

studied . After a short stay , ten were sent home , and

then ten more . At last the number was reduced to

two,and one of these was chosen . One would think

even then the result might not be highly sat isfactory .

The d aughter of some prince o r noble would be far more

l ikely to make a good empress than a total stranger to

court l i fe .

Golden and si lver weddings are almost as much

observed in China as among the Germans o r i n England .

O ur portrai t of a Chinese bride i s from a photo

graph by M r. Thomas Child,of Che lsfield , Kent , who

has kindly permitted us to reproduce i t . The young

lady’s father was fortunately a man of l iberal ideas,

and al lowed her to be photographed without the usual

vei l that h ides the features of a bride . The big

emblem behind the Chair is Sk i, the Chinese symbol


fo r Happiness,which occupies a very prominent place

in weddings,everything being marked with i t . I t is

usual l y doubled,to denote Double Happiness

,

”

though not here .

According to a missionarywho has worked of lateyears in Formosa

,the savageswho inhabi t the mountains

of that i sland are all head hunters,

” and a man is no t,as a rule

,allowed to marry unti l he has brought in at

least one Chinese head— j ust to give proof of his courage

and skill ! But i f the Chinese are unusually careful

about their heads,and keep beyond spear-reach of the

most daring brave,the chief may grant a special dis

pensation to any man who has distinguished himselfi n the Chase of the deer and the wi ld boar . There

is very l i ttle i f any ceremony at a wedding , but the

bride is gai ly decked out .

CHAPTER I I I

j‘apan

T is with a feel ing of rel ief that we turn from the

cruel conventions of a decaying civi l i sat ion,such as

that of China,to consider the marriage customs of the

bright,happy

,and i ntel l igent people of Japan . They

lead far more natural l ives than the Chinese,and

consequently there i s often much happiness among

them,espec ial ly in the country distr i cts . But for al l

that Japan is not a paradise . To the new woman i t

would doubtless appear nothing short of an Inferno !Whatever freedom may be allowed to girls

,when

once they are married they make very faithful wives .Japanese husbands expect the most complete subj ection

and obedience from their consorts ; and they certainly

get i t,fo r every girl i s carefully taught from her Chi ld

hood that some day she must be an obedient and

faithful,hard—working housewi fe . The result i s highly

successful . Whether this i s due to a natural submis

siveness o n the part of Japanese wives , o r whether their

remarkable amiabi l i ty may be accounted fo r by the effect

of generat ions of train ing and veneration for tradi tion,

we cannot say.

54 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

European notions are being so rapid ly absorbed by

these clever and observant people that i t would appear

as i f al l their old ways may have died out ere another

generation grows up . I t is therefore all the more

desirable to record the ceremonies used at their

marriages .

They marry early ; but as a mésallz'

ame i s held to

be utterly disgraceful,even in the midd le classes

,

people are not unfrequently reduced to the necessi ty of

espousing those whom they have never seen . Thus,

the treasurer of Nagasaki has no prec ise equal i n the

place,consequently his chi ldren cannot ally them

selves wi th the young people in the town,their

acquaintances and associates ; but he must procure

them wives and husbands out of the famil ies of men

of his own rank in distant ci ties o r provinces . Whenno such obstac le prevents the course of true love from

running smooth,and a youth has fixed his affections

upon a maiden o f sui table condi tion,he declares h is

passion by affixing a branch of a certain shrub (celastrus

a/atas ) to the house of her parents . I f the branch be

neglected,the sui t i s rej ected ; i f i t be accepted , so i s

the lover . And if the young lady wishes to express

reciprocal tenderness,she forthwith blackens h e r teeth .

But She must not pluck o ut h er eyebrows unti l the

wedding has been celebrated . At present the choice of

a wife depends,i n most cases

,o n the wi l l of the parents ,

hence there are not many love-matches . But , in o ld

days,the following custom prevai led in the province of

Ozu . Whoever took a fancy to a girl wrote his name

JAPAN 5 5

on a small board,and hid i t between the mats in

the ante—chamber of her house . These boards

showed the number o f her lovers,and remained there

ti ll she took away that of the man Whom She preferred .

When the branch has been accepted,

o r i f the

respective parents have agreed to unite their chi ldren,

a certain number of male friends of the bridegroom are

appointed as marri age brokers . These persons meet

and arrange the terms of the marriage contract ; and

when they have agreed upon these,they carefully select

two auspicious days,the first for an interview between

the young p eople , the second for the actual ceremony .

The match—maker,or middleman

,becomes through

l i fe a sort of godfather to the young people . Customs,

of course,vary a good deal according to the local i ty ;

but in some parts o f Japan , the parties are not en

tirely unknown to each other before the tying of the“ fatal knot

,

” because the match-maker arranges fo r a

meeting . This is called a “ mutual seeing ,” and takes

place at the house of the match—maker,or at some

private house agreed upon by the respect ive parents .

That is the correct way of doing i t ; but , among the

middle and lower classes,a picnic , a party to the

theatre,or a visi t to the temple wi ll serve instead .

Sometimes the man is even allowed to speak to the

young lady,a privi lege which must be h ighly pr ized !

I f she fai ls to please,the proj ected match comes to

nothing if,however

,the young lady obj ects

,that i s a

trifl i ng matter which the parents can eas i ly overrule .

If both parties are pleased gifts are exchanged . This


consti tutes a betrothal,and is considered binding .

The next step is .fo r the future bri degroom to send

presents,as costly as hi s means wi l l allow

,to the

bride . She immediately offers them to her parents,i n

acknowledgment of their kindness in her infancy , and

of the pains bestowed upon her education . Thus,

al though the Japanese girl is no t subj ected to the usual

Oriental degradation of being actual ly o r apparently

purchased from h er father by her husband,a handsome

daughter i s st i ll considered as rather to the fortune of

the fami ly. The bride,however

,i s not transferred

qui te empty—handed to h er new home . Besides

sending a few trifles to the bridegroom,i n return for

his splendid gifts,the parents of the bride

,after

ceremoniously burning their daughter ’s Chi ldish toys,

(i n token of her being grown up provide a hand

some trousseau,and bestow upon her certain articles of

household furni ture,such as a spinning—wheel

,a loom

,

and the necessary utensi ls for the kitchen . On the

wedding—day the bridal equipment is conveyed in great

state to the bridegroom ’s house,and there exhibi ted .

With regard to the marriage—ri tes,the authori t ies

we have consul ted give somewhat different accountsThus

,I saac T itsingh , i n h is

“ I llustrations of Japan,

says that there i s no rel igious ceremony,but here he

may be wrong . I t i s easy to conceive that,i n such

a country as Japan,a foreigner might frequently be

invi ted to attend the formal ceremonies wi th which the

bride is i nstal led i n her new home , without ever

wi tnessing,o r even hearing

,o f the rel igious ceremony .

JAPAN 57

Again,there may be one custom for Buddhists , and

another for Shintoists,whose rel igion is the older .

Some say that the c ivi l contract must be registered i n

the temple to which the young people belong . Accord

ing to Mr . J . M . W . S i lver,the following ceremony

takes place there : “ The pair,after l i sten ing to a

lengthy harangue from one of the attendant priests,

approach the altar,where large tapers are presented to

them ; the bride , instructed by the priest , l ights her

taper at the sacred censer on the altar,and the bride

groom , igni t ing his from hers , allows the two flames to

combine and burn steadi ly together,thus symbol i sing

the perfect uni ty o f the marr iage state ; and this

completes the ceremonial . The bride,covered from

head to foot in a white veil,i s seated in a palanquin

and carried forth,escorted by the marriage- brokers

,her

fami ly,and the guests invited to the feast . The men

are all arrayed in their ceremonial dress,the women in

their gayest gold—embroidered robes . The procession

parades through the greater part of the town,affording

a very pretty spectacle . On reaching the bridegroom ’s

house,the bride

,sti ll vei led

,i s accompanied by two

playfellows into the state room,where

,i n the post of

honour,S i ts the bridegroom with his parents and

nearest relations . In the centre stands a beauti ful ly

wrought table,with miniature representations of a

fir tree,a plum tree in b lossom

,cranes

,and tortoises .

The first i s a symbol of man ’s strength,the second of

woman ’s beauty,whi lst the tortoise and the crane

appear to represent length of l i fe and happiness . And


nowi t i s t ime fo r them to dri nk the sai d, or winethis i s really the principal part of the ceremony . This

is done with end less formal i t ies,and the wine i s poured

out by two young women who are cal led “ The Male

and the Female Butterfly,probab ly emb lems o f

conj ugal fai thfulness,since butterfl ies appear to fly

about in pairs .

Perhaps the descript ion of an actual eye—witness wi l l

be more acceptable to our readers ; we therefore takethe l iberty of quoting the account of a well-known

traveller,M i ss Bird

,in her book entitled Unbeaten

Tracks in Japan .

”

Two young girls,very beauti fully dressed

,brought

in the bride,a very pleasing- looking creature

,dressed

entirely in white si lk,with a vei l of whi te si lk covering

her from head to foot . The bridegroom,wh o was

already seated in the middle of the room , near i ts upper

part,did no t ri se to receive her

,and kept his eyes

fixed on the ground . She sat opposi te to him,but

never looked up . A low table was spread in front , onwhich there was a two- spouted kettle full of sai d, some

sa/ez'

bottles,and some cups

,and on another were some

smal l figures representing a fir tree,a plum tree in

blossom,and a stork standing 011 a tortoise . After

this,which was only a prel iminary

,the two girls who

brought in the bride handed round a tray with three

cups contain ing sai d,which each person was expected

to drain ti l l he came to the god of luck at the bottom .

!This reminds us of the Hindu custom of placing the

god of obstacles under the canopy ]

JAPAN 5 9

The bride and bridegroom then ret ired , and shortly

reappeared in other dresses of ceremony,but the bride

st i l l wore h er white s i lk vei l , which o ne day wi ll be her

shroud . An o ld gold lacquer tray was produced , with

three sakz'

cups,which were filled by the two brides

maids ! the male and the female butterfly] and p laced

before the parents—in—law and the bride . The father

in—law drank three cups,and handed the cup to the

bride,who

,after drinking two cups

,received from her

father- in—law a present in a box, drank the third

cup, and then returned the cup to the father- in—law ,

who again drank three cups . R i ce and fish were next

brought in,after which the bridegroom ’s mother took

the second cup and filled and emptied i t three t imes,

after which she passed i t to the bride, who drank two

cups,received a present from her mother —in—l aw i n

a lacquer box , drank a third cup,and gave the cup to

the elder lady,who again drank three cups . Soupwas

then served,and the bride drank once from the third

cup,and handed i t to her husband ’ s father

,wh o drank

three more cups,the bride took i t again and drank two

,

and lastly,the mother—in - law drank three more

cups After this the two bridesmaids raised the

two—spouted kettle and presented i t to the l ips of the

marr ied pair,who drank from it alternately

,t i ll they

had exhausted its contents . This concluding ceremony

is said to be emblemati c of the tasting together of the

j oys and sorrows of l i fe . And so they became man

and wife t i ll death,o r divorce

,parted them . This

drinking of sak z'

,or wine

,according to prescribed


usage , appeared to consti tute the Marriage Service

to which none but relations were bidden . Immediately

afterwards the wedding guests arrived,and the evening

was spent in feasting and sak z'

drinking,but the fare i s

s imple,and intoxication i s happi ly out of place at a

marriage-feast . ”

At a marr iage ceremony,neither bride nor bride

groom wears any clothing of a purple colour , lest their

marriage—t ie be soon loosed,as purple

,with them

,i s

the colour most l i able to fade .

According to T itsingh , the bridegroom must find

some man clever at letter—writ ing wh o wil l i ndite fo rhim a letter to his father—in- law in some such terms

as these“ I have the letter which you have sent me , i n which

you inform me that yo u are glad that al l the ceremonies

which were to take place up to this day are over . The

vessel of M M and the tray of fish (o r whatever the

present may be) which you have sent me have been

received by me in very good condi tion . I return you ,with al l my heart

,my humble thanks for them .

I flatter mysel f that we shal l soon have an opportuni tyo f speaking to one another . My father also presents

you hi s thanks,through him

,who has the honour to be ,with the highest respect

,

(The name and signature) .

(The date) .

The bride also has wi th h er a ‘person acquainted

with the usual wording of letters of this kind . H er

epistle i s to the same effect . I t i s a stri c t matter o f

JAPAN 6 I

etiquette that in these letters no other subj ect whatever

should be introduced .

I t i s hard ly necessary to say that there are many

supersti t ions wi th regard to marriage observed by

young girls ; one of them is that nothing wil l induce

a girl to pour tea over a bowl of “ red ri ce,for i f

she did so her marriage day would be sure to be rainy .

6o MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

usage , appeared to consti tute the Marriage Service

to which none but relations were bidden . Immediately

afterwards the wedding guests arrived , and the evening

was spent in feasting and sa/ez'

drinking,but the fare i s

simple , and intox i cation i s happi ly out of place at a

marriage- feast .

At a marriage ceremony,neither bride nor bride

groom wears any cloth ing of a purple colour, lest their

marri age—t ie be soon loosed,as purple

,with them

,i s

the colour most l iable to fade .

According to T itsingh , the bridegroom must find

some man clever at letter—writing who will i ndite fo rhim a letter to his father—in- law in some such terms

as these“ I have the letter which you have sent me , i n which

you Inform me that you are glad that al l the ceremonies

which were to take place up to th is day are over . The

vessel of sai d and the tray of fish (or whatever the

present may be) which you have sent me have been

received by me in very good condi tion . I return you ,with al l my heart

,my humble thanks for them .

I flatter mysel f that we shall soon have an opportuni ty

of speaking to o ne another . My father also presents

you his thanks , through him ,who has the honour to be ,with the highest respect ,

(The name and signature) .

(The date) .

The bride also has wi th her a ‘person acquainted

with the usual wording of letters of this kind . Her

epistle i s to the same effect . I t is a stri ct matter o f

CHAPTER IV

Persia and Araéia

N a country l ike Pers ia,where women are stri ctly

vei led,love—matches are somewhat rare ; i n spi te

o f all precautions,however

,such things do occasion

al ly take place . Although shrouded from head to

foot in a great blue sheet,and wearing a cal i co or

cambri c vei l a yard long,a l i ttle aperture partly

covered by threads across the eyes enables the Persian

belle to see other people . I f incl ined to fl irt,she

can do so,and wil l find some way to reward an

admiring passer—by with a glance at her features .

Hence i t sometimes happens that a marriage is the

resul t of some early attachment . Cousins frequently

marry,and such unions are considered natural and

proper because the young people have general ly been

brought up together,almost as brother and sister . In

j usti ce to the people o f Persia let i t be said at the

outset that their women are hardly such down—trodden

creatures as they are general ly supposed by Europeans

to be . The wife is no t a slave to her lord , nor yet a

mere toy,but his friend and counsellor

,and

,i f a capable

person,may rule his household . In most cases a young

PERS IA 63

girl is betrothed to a man of her own class i f a mer

chant ’s daughter she marries the son of a merchant , and

so on ; but personal attractions are greatly sought after ,and a poor girl

,i f exceptionally good- looking

,may be

as fortunate as C inderella,though probably not so

happy .

Married women have no obj ection to wearing the

vei l ; i n fact , they would not or dare not drop the

custom . Without this protective covering they would

be considered nei ther modest nor respectable . In the

higher ranks of l i fe women are often wel l educated ;they del ight in all domesti c duties

,such as cooking .

Barring a taste for scandal,very l i ttle can be said

against them,and they appear to win the love and

admirat ion of their husbands and chi ldren .

When a wife becomes the mother of a son her

posi tion is greatly improved , and greater freedom is

allowed to her . For example , she can then go about

i f accompanied by her chi ld and her mother,

o r

mother-in—law .

Betrothals are arranged by match-makers as in so

many other countries . T hese are crafty old women

who know how to drive a hard bargain,and they get

a “ commission from the parents o n each side .

Chi ld-marriages are frequent . There is,first of all

,

a marriage contract o r legal ceremony ; the wedding

i tself may take place o n the same day,i n the evening

,

o r,i f the br ide is a Chi ld , some years l ater . The former

ceremony sometimes takes place in the open air , the

women vei led or i t may be in a room , the bride being

64 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

screened off by a curtain . A mafia/z , an offic ial of the

Mosque , reads out the contract which he himself has

drawn up somewhat as follows I t i s agreed between

Hassan the draper, wh o i s agen t for Houssein the son

of the baker,that he Houssein hereby acknowledges

the receipt of the portion of Nissa the daughter of

Achme t the grocer . Then follows a l i st of the

bride ’s property,i n which a copy of the Koran and a

certai n amount of s i lk are always included . In case of

her death o r divorce the husband surrenders i t all to

her fami ly or to herself. When both parties have

given their consent to the bargain,in the presence of

their relations and friends,the mafia]: thus pronounces

them to be legally married“ Then

,i n the name of God

,the Compass ionate

,the

Merci ful,and of Mahommed the prophet of God , I

declare you A . and you B . to be man and wife . The

document is then sealed . This is fol lowed by a feast ,at which no small amount of tobacco is consumed by

the men,and of sweetmeats by the women (in their

separate apartment) . There is no music o n this

occasi on .

On the wedding- day great preparations are made fo r

the entertainment of a large party,both in the men ’s

court and in that of the women .

The poor are not neglected o n these occasions , but

come in fo r a share of the good things . The enter

tainment takes place at the house of the brid e ’s fami ly .

Great is the variety of the drinks consumed,tea

,i ces ,

and sherbets be ing the favouri tes . The latter are fruit

PERS IA 65

syrups del i cately scented and sweetened,and may “ be

made from roses,oranges

,lemons

,pomegranates

,

cherries,and other frui ts . “ All i s ready ; the master

of the house,dressed i n h is best

,gives a last anxious

glance at the preparat ions,and has an exci ted discussion

with his wife,or wives . He waves his hand to the

musicians and hurries to a seat near the door,to be

ready to welcome h is guests ; the music str ikes up a

merry tune (i t i s an air , barbari c but inspiri t ing) .

The tremendous din of the dollai (drum) i s heard at

intervals . Then in a loud scream rises the voice of

the princ ipal solo singer,who commences o ne of the

sad love songs of Persia in a high falsetto voice . His

face reddens with his exert ions,which last through a

dozen verses . His eyes nearly start from his head,

the muscles of his neck stand out l ike ropes ; but he

keeps correct t ime on the big tambourine,which he

plays wi th consummate ski l l . The rest of the musicians watch h is every movement , and al l j o in In the

chorus of ‘Ah ! Lal la , Lal l a , you have made roast

meat of my heart !

The musi c is the s ignal to the invi ted guests they

now commence to arrive in crowds . The music and

singing proceed,and go on unceasingly for some ten

hours ti l l the bride leaves for her husband ’s home .As the guests pour in the host receives them wi th

transports of pleasure al l the extravagant compl iments

o f Eastern pol i teness pass between them . May your

wedding be fortunate ! ’ ‘You are indeed welcome ; th is

i s a never- to—be-forgo tten h onour to me your slave6


In they pour,the men in their best ; the women ,

closely vei led , pass 011 unnoti ced by the men into the

ana’

erin,where they unvei l and appear to their de

l ighted hostesses in their finest c lothes,and all their

j ewelry , and , we are sorry to add,i n most cases wi th

their faces careful ly painted .

”I Here buffoons and

musicians are the on ly men al lowed the former bring

performing bears , o r monkeys,o r even a wretched ,

half—starved l ion,cowed by much beating .

Before dinner is served the bride goes to the bath

accompanied by female relatives and friends . At night ,as the processi on of the bridegroom approaches

,alms

are distributed,and women and chi ldren look from

neighbouring roofs . Loud cries from the women

welcome the bridegroom on his arr ival,whi le the

br ide,carefully vei led

,mounts the horse await ing her

at the door . All the men who have been feasted andentertained j oin in the processi on

,i n which lanterns

are borne . The bride ’s departure is the signal for

the discharge of fireworks and a great beat ing of the

big drum . The final ceremony is simi lar to o ne

observed by the Arabs and the Kopts , namely , the

sacrifice of sheep these are ki l l ed as the bride steps over

the threshold of her new home . One wonders what i s

the idea underlying the sacrifices . Are they intended

as acts o f propit i at ion inheri ted from an earl ier age ,when people thus endeavoured to appease the anger o f

th e gods o r of the spiri ts of their ancestors ? o r is i t

I “ Pe rs i a as i t i s , 1887, by C . J . W i l l s,M .D . ,

many ye ars are s ide n t med i c a l offic e r i n th e co un try .

AFGHANISTAN 67

merely a way of sealing in b lood an important act and

covenant ?

In October, 1 867, the heir to the throne of

Persia was married to his cousin,both of them

being only sixteen years of age,and the wedding

was celebrated with great pomp . The bride ’ s

cavalcade , on leaving her home,was preceded by

about one hundred horses,mules

,and camels

,carry ing

servants,tents

,carpets

, &c . ; then followed many led

horses covered with ri ch trappings . The Pri ncess’s

carriage,with the b l inds down

,was drawn by six

horses , and followed by mules carrying palanquins

c losed with curtains,which contained the women of

her sui te . And lastly came a large number of

o fficers and digni taries on horseback . The players

made music with their viol ins,trumpets

,and tam

bourines . The j ourney took th irty—three days .

On her arrival the Pri ncess was temporari ly lodgedin a palace . Publ i c rej oic ings preceded the marriage ,and on the wedding — day

,three hours after sunset ,

the bride was conducted in a torch- l ight procession

to the palace of the bridegroom .

The women of Afghanistan go about unvei led,

and a young man may choose a partner for himself

wi thout the aid of a match-maker,or even of his

parents . I f some girl takes his fancy , al l he has to

do i s to cut off a lock of her hair or throw a sheet

over her,and proclaim the damsel his bride . He

must then make a bargain with the father before he

is allowed to take her to his home .


The Tartars who i nhabi t the h ighlands of Asia

M inor have a pecul i ar custom . On the day when

the bride enters her new home,she and her husband

go to meet o ne another,each accompanied by their

respective relatives on horseback . When the bride

groom is su fficiently near to the bride,he throws

an apple,o r orange

,at her

,and wheel ing round h is

horse,gallops off to his own tent

,while the men of

the bride ’s party fol low in hot pursui t,for whoever

overtakes him before he reaches home is enti tled to

hi s horse,saddle

,and clothes . When the bride

arr ives at her husband ’s tent,the women of her party

implore her not to get down from her horse,whi le

her husband ’s fami ly entreat her to do so . Every

male relative of h is brings her a present,begging

her at the same time to give up part of the

dowry settled on her by her husband . The bride i s

usual ly too prudent to forego al l o f i t,but for the sake

of courtesy,gives up a small portion .

Some of the Ku rds inhabiting the Eastern High

lands of Asia M inor,a hardy and brave mountain

race,treat their wives very well . The marr iage

ceremony is nothing more than a few words uttered

in the presence of a priest . One sect,the Z e z id i

,

are less stri c t than others wi th regard to the

importance of the marriage—t ie , and the men d o not

forget the possibi l i ty of a d ivorce . For this reason

i t is said that the bridegroom,when pronouncing

the marriage-oath,stands in runn ing water

,to signify

70 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

the bridegroom ! We may picture bride and brid e

groom crowned as king and queen o f the sports,

si tting on the threshing sledge on a mock throne .

Q uarrels often ari se , as on that occasion , and sometimes

lead to bloodshed .

A Bedouin always marries o ne of his own class .The sending of E l iezer to Mesopotamia to get a

wife fo r Isaac was exactly what the Sheikh of anArab tribe would do at this day . The reader

wi l l remember,also

,how Rebekah go t off the

camel and vei led herself because she could not

al low Isaac to see her face t i l l she became his wi fe .

And not unti l the wedding i s over may the husband

enter the tent where his bride awai ts him and raise

her vei l . Women anxiously awai t outside , and when

the bridegroom has announced to them that he is

pleased with hi s bride set up a shri ll cry of del ight .

To the Arabs this Shout of the triumphant and

sati sfied bridegroom is one of the most del ightful

sounds that can be uttered . I t i s to this our

Saviour alludes when He says,

“ He that hath the

bride is the bridegroom ; but the friend of the

bridegroom,who standeth and heareth him , rej oiceth

greatly éeeazzse of the 5ridegroom’

s‘voire .

Again at Nablus,the bride i s brought home at

night,as i n the parable of the V i rg ins . Drums ,

fifes,shouts and rej oicings break the sti llness as late

as ten o ’clock . Young and old run out to see the

procession,the maidens in their best attire , the

bridegroom and his friends,the bride

,deep ly vei led ,

ARABS 71

the musicians,the crowd

,and above all

,the flaming

l ights , which give animation to the whole scene .

Mr . Burckhardt,the traveller

,says that among the

Ae ne z e s the bridegroom comes with a l amb in hi s

arms to the tent of the bride ’s father,and there cuts i ts

throat before witnesses . As soon as the blood fal ls

upon the ground the marriage ceremony is regarded

as complete . Afterwards the men and girl s amuse

themselves with feast ing and singing . Soon after sun

se t the bridegroom awaits the bride in his tent . The

bashful girl meanwhi le runs from the tent of one friend

to another’s,t i l l at last she is caught and conducted by

a fewwomen to her lord and master . In Egypt theKopts ki ll a sheep as soon as the bride enters the

house of her husband,and she i s obliged to step over

the flowing blood o n (to) the threshold (see p .

Among the Bedouins Of Mount S inai,i f a man wishes

to marry a certain girl,he must cal l

,accompanied by a

few friends,on her father . On their arr ival at the tent

they are Offered some refreshment . The suitor then ex

plains that he would be glad if the man wil l have him

fo r a son- in- law ,to which the father repl ies

,

“ I shall

require (say) one hundred piastres of you as a dowry .

This,the young man explains

,with considerable an ima

tion,i s a sum quite beyond his modest resources . When

at last the father has consented to lower his terms to

about half the sum ment ioned , they agree and the

bargain is concluded . When the young h i en of the

party find that matters have been settled,they express

great del ight,and engage in tr ial s of ski l l and various

72 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

games . T he publ i c notary i s then called in,who takes

a piece o f a certain herb and wraps i t i n the turban of

the bridegroom . He ratifies the covenant between father

and bridegroom in the following manner Taking both

their hands in his,he places between them the folded

turban,and

,pressing them closely together

,thus

addresses the father of the bride—elect,Are you wi l l ing

to give your daughter to — mentioning the name . T o

which he repl ies,

“ I am .

” The bridegroom to be i s also

asked,

“ D O yo u take the girl to wife fo r better o r

worse ? On his replying,I do take her

,

” the notary

says,

“ I f you i l l- treat her, or stin t her i n food o r

raiment,the sin be o n your own neck .

” These questions

and answers are repeated three t imes,after which the

betrothal (i f such i t can be called ! ) is considered

complete .

The girl unti l then is ent irely ignorant o f the fact

that she i s going to be gIven In marriage . If by chance

she should find out what has happened,custom demands

that she should at l east make a pretence of escaping to

the mountai ns . But she does no t exactly d o so,as

we shal l see,unless she entertains a strong disl ike fo r

her suitor . Therefore,i f such i s not the case

,the girl

cont inues to perform her dai ly labours as before . Sup

pos ing that everything has been careful ly concealed from

he r,she is informed o f the change that i s in store fo r

her i n the fol lowing no t very gentle manner : The

notary,with the would-be bridegroom ’s mantle in his

hands,come stealthi ly behind h er

,as she si ts in the

family tent in the evening o n her return from tending

74 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

maining three days i n a tent near her father,does

actual ly run away and hide in the mountains .

We have said that Arab marriages are always

arranged ” and that is true ; but , nevertheless , their

women are not entirely unromant ic . Occas ionally i t

does happen that a young girl fal ls in love with a man

She has met— it may be at some festival or at the tomb

of a saint . In that case,i f her parents should betroth

her to another,sh e takes advantage o f the three days ’

grace allowed and escapes to some neighbour,who wi ll

pi ty her and take h er i n and she stays,obstinately

refusing to leave unti l the man she so disl ikes re

linquishes his c laim . Her relat ives,not wishing to

force her i nto the marriage against her wi ll,make terms

with the disappointed lover as best they can . The story

of Jebel e l Benat or “ the Girls ’ Mount affords an

interesting example of these occas ional romances . Twogirls

,who were betrothed to men they hearti ly disl iked ,

found theirway to the mountains and there peri shed of

hunger rather than prove fai th less to their lovers .

Burckhardt says they twisted their hair together and

threw themselves from the cl i ffs,but this part of the

story is nowforgotten in S inai .

Mr . Layard , in his “ Nineveh and Babylon,

describ ing a marriage celebrated near N imro ud , says

that the bride and bridegroom entered i nto a legal

contract i n the presence of witnesses . On the

fol lowing day the bride,covered from head to foot

by a th ick vei l, was escorted by her friends , with

ASSYR IA 75

musi c,to the bridegroom ’s house . Here She was

actually kept behind a curtain,i n the corner of a

darkened room,for three days ! During all that

t ime the guests were feast ing . The courtyard of

the house was fil led with dancers and players . On

the th ird day the bridegroom was led in triumph

from house to house,and at each received some

present . He was then placed with in the C ircle of

dancers,and the guests

,wett ing small coins , stuck

them on h is forehead . As the money fel l i t wascol lected in a handkerchief held open under the

bridegroom ’s ch in . Then followed a curious ep isode .

A party of young men rushed into the crowd,and

carrying off the most wealthy guests,proceeded to

lock them up in a dark room unti l they paid

ransom fo r thei r release,which they did without any

i ll- feel ing . All the money col lected was added tothe dowry .

CHAPTER V

Taréey and Syria

THE ceremonies attending a Turkish wedding are

thoroughly Eastern,and i t would be easy to

point out resemblances to customs which have been

already described in o ur accounts of China,o r Japan

,

Arabia and more espec ial ly Persia . The go—betweens

o r match-makers play an important part . They

are generally old women who vis i t o ne harem after

another hawking such arti cles o f commerce as the

fair ladies are l i kely to require,and so they have

exceptional opportuni ties for arranging marriages .

N o r are the harems their only happy hunting

ground,fo r they sometimes look i n at the schools .

An Engl ish teacher once saw an O ld woman enter

a C lass i n a Turkish school,walk round the table

,

and look search ingly at the elder girls . On inquiry

the teacher was told that the o ld l ady was “ looking

out fo r a wi fe for somebody .

” When a mother wishes

to get her son married/ she visi ts the harems with

a match—maker and some of h er relat ives,and has

a good look round . Having found a girl whoseems suitable

,she informs the mother , who is

78 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

days the young man sends a present o f money as

a contri bution towards the wedding expenses . The

c ivi l marriage takes place e ight days after the be

tro thal. A contract i s drawn up i n which ‘ the

husband states the amount he settles on his wi fe in

the event of h i s death,

o r i f she should be

d ivorced,and the document is duly witnessed . He

declares before the priest (imam) three times h is

wi l l i ngness to wed the young lady ; and she re

pl ies three t imes,i n answer to the priest ’ s questions ,

stat ing her wi l l ingness to marry the man who hasbeen chosen fo r her . But she i s i nvis ible , and her

answers come from the door of the women ’s apart

ments . Thus i s the c ivi l marri age effected ; but

the bride and bridegroom are not allowed to meet

unti l the marri age fest ivi t ies are ended,and that may

no t be fo r several weeks— in some cases,many

months .

A week before the wedding-day,the bridegroom

sends the wedding- dress to the bride ’s house . The

fest iv i t ies begin on a Monday , and o n that day

the bride ’s parents (as i n China) send the trousseau

and a number of useful domest i c arti cles to the

future home o f their daughter . These are borne in

procession by porters . They also decorate the bridal

chamber very elaborately . On Tuesday the bride

is taken to the bath by her lady friends . On

Wednesday her mother receives the female friends

of the bridegroom,who are led into a room to

which the bride i s presently brought . She kisses


receiving her, returns to the men’s quarters while the

ladies inspect h er trousseau,and then he attends the

mosque . After the fifth prayer he may enter the

harem and se e his bride fo r the first time . I t is said

that,

o n proceeding to the women ’s apartments,he

upsets a bowl o f water o n the stairs and scatters i t

i n al l directions . The bride i s now expect ing her

husband,who i s led to her

,in the gai ly decorated

nuptial chamber, by a matron . This person raises the

bride ’s vei l from off h er face and spreads i t out on the

floor,so that the husband may kneel on i t whi le he

offers up a prayer,the bride standing meanwhi le on i ts

edge and beh ind h is back . I t is said by a wri ter on

Eastern l ife that o n th is occasion a curious l i ttle tri ck is

played by the bride,and one which has its counterparts

i n China and i n Russia fo r before h er husband raises

the vei l to get a gl impse of h er features,sh e slyly

advances h er foot and tri es to tread on his toe . I f she

succeeds in so doing,i t is considered that she wil l be

the ruler at home ! From this i t appears that the vei l

i s no t always raised by the o ld woman , as is stated abovebut there are sure to be l i ttle differences according to

the local i ty . The matron has not yet departed , for she

has another l i ttle ceremony to perform ,namely

,showing

them their reflections i n a mirror while sh e knocks their

heads together so that the images may appear un ited .

They then put lumps o f sugar in their mouths and pass

them to each other. At last , the old matron retires

and they are left alone .

On the fol lowing day a recept ion takes place,and the

T HE ARMENIANS 8I

newly—married couple eat together at the feast of the

sheep ’s trotters . ”

The Armenians do not,as a rule , al low their

daughters much freedom,and in consequence marriages

are i n most cases “ arranged,

” the go -between being

usually a priest . But in Smyrna and Constantinople,

where young people are al lowed to se e more of each

other,i t need not be surprising to learn that they some

times settle their own fate . Armenians bel ieve in lucky

t imes fo r marr iages,and since these occas ions are few

and far between , i t fol lows that a large number ofcouples

are somet imes united in a s ingle day . An Engl ish

travel ler once saw sixty bridegrooms at the altar rai ls

awaiting their brides ; and on that occasion a most un

fortunate mistake was made . Two brides of simi lar

height somehow changed places and were each married

to the man engaged to the other. D ivorce i s not

allowed in this country,and so a pretty but poor

peasant maid became the wife o f a comparat ively rich

middle- class man,while a wealthy but plain lady was

uni ted to a blacksmith !

The wedding celebrat ions usual ly begin on a Friday,

the actual marriage taking place on the fol lowing

Monday . As with Turks and others the bride is taken

by her companions to the bath . Saturday is devoted

to feast ing,i n which the poor,are not forgotten . On

Sunday there i s st i l l more feasting . The young men

wai t upon the girls,who sit down first ; then the

married couples and lastly the young men .

7

82 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

Monday evening is devoted to the rel igious ceremony .

The bride ’s dress is very curious ; her whole figure is

enveloped in crimson si lk,a s i lver p late resting on her

head . Also a large pair o f cardboard wings,covered

with feathers,are fastened on to her head . The ring

and wedding garments are blessed by the priest,as a

precaution against the tri cks of evi l spi ri ts,of whichwe

shal l have more to say presently . And now the d is

guised bride i s conducted back to the reception room

to begin the dance with her father o r nearest relative,

while the others throw coins at her . Then the bride

groom,whose wedding garments have been consecrated

,

i s led up to the bride by her mother,fo r the second

betrothal,which may be thus briefly described . The

pri est,after reading the 89th Psalm ,

places the right

hand o f the bride in that o f the bridegroom with these

words :

When God presented Eve ’s hand to Adam,Adam

said,This is nowbone of my bone

,and flesh of my

flesh What therefore God hath j oined together

let no man put asunder . A small cross is then t ied

upon their foreheads . Arrived at church,the first part

of the ceremony takes pl ace in the porch . The 1 2 2nd

Psalm is read,and the bridal pair

,after confessing their

s ins,receive absolution . An exhortation follows

,after

which the pri est asks each separately whether he o r she

wi ll remain fai thful to the other,

“ though that one

become bl ind,sick

,crippled

,o r deaf

,receiving the

answer yes . ” Joining their hands he then offers up

certain prayers and leads them to the altar. The

84 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

But i t i s said that this important person sometimes

sternly refuses h is consent,and that many a br ide has

gone through marri ed l i fe wi thout ever speaking to the

parents o f her husband ! Doubtless we have herea rel i c from preh istori c days when a father—in—law wastaboo ” as he sti l l i s i n certain countries . With regard

to the custom previously alluded to of blessi ng the

wedding garments , i t appears that here also is a rel i c of

prehistori c supersti t i ons . These people— at least the

peasants— seem to have a strong bel i ef i n evi l spir i ts

which are supposed to be parti cularly busy

during the first forty days of married l i fe . Also at

night,so that newly married couples do not venture

out after d ark , unless accompanied by some responsible

relat ive . Both Mussulmans and Armenians say that ,unless a new garment is blessed

,the ay

'

ins w i ll come and

steal i t,and of th is they are qui te convinced . There is

a story to the e ffect that these misch ievous beings once

spiri ted away an o ld Turkish woman and kept her in

an underground palace for three days . On her return

she told her friends of the strange scenes she had

witnessed,and assured them that the ay

'

ins wore clothes

stolen from human beings . I t seems to the author

that we have here legends based o n facts which of late

years have been brought to l ight by archae ologists and

others . There undoubtedly were once “ l i ttle people

(fairies) l iv ing in underground dwell ings , who stolewhatever they could lay their hands upon and were

very active at n ight . The author has d ealt with this

subject in h is previous work enti tled Prehistori c Man

THE DRUSES 85

and Beast , to which the reader , desirous of information ,i s referred .

Among the Druses of Mount Lebanon,when one of

their Sheikhs wishes to marry,he sends a messenger to

the father of the girl that takes h is fancy,and demands

h is consent . On being accepted as son—in—law he sends

the young woman presents of clothes and j ewels as

a pledge of fidel i ty . On the day appointed for the

wedding , a contract is drawn up with the father and

signed by w i tnesses . Before th is contract is read out

some passages from the Koran are reci ted in order to

give a kind of rel igious sanction,according to the

Mohammedan custom,to which rel igion the Druses

outwardly conform .

The bride,vei led and mounted on horseback , and

attended by a long train of attendants of both sexes ,proceeds to the abode of her future husband . Here

for a week or so fest iv it ies have been going on . As

soon as the br ide approaches,the entire body of tenants

and dependants of the Sheikh advance to meet her,and

the meeting takes place at a distance of a mi le or two

from the houses . Both part ies being l iberally suppl ied

with blank cartr idges,a mock fight takes place .

Extending in skirmishing order the Druses now display

all the tactics of gueri l la warfare,both in attack and

defence . Rocks,trees

,and eminences of any kind are

successively secured and abandoned unti l the br ide

groom ’s party is gradually driven back to h is vi llage,

which is vigorously defended . At length,amidst

86 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

shouts of exultation,and a deafening discharge of

musketry,the bride comes up and is borne along pel l

mell i nto the harem . Some two or three thousand

men are now co l lected on the scene ; those on foot

hast i ly arrange themselves on ei ther s ide , while the

Druse Sheikhs,on their h igh-bred Arab steeds , their

sp iri t aroused by the mimic warfare i n which they have

been engaging,commence the game cal led j ereed

with great zeal . They are natural ly anxious to

exhibi t their ski l l and prowess before the assembled

vassals,and not al together unconsc ious that from the

high latti ced windows of the harem many a dark eye i s

looking down upon them with no smal l admirat ion .

Meanwhi le the bride,having rece ived the caresses

and congratulations of her new relations , i s conducted

to a separate Chamber and placed on a divan with a

large tray of sweetmeats and confect ionery before her ,after which the women all retire and she i s left alone

with a vei l of musl i n and gold over her head and

shoulders . Presently she hears footsteps at the door ;i t opens

,her husband approaches

,l i fts the vei l from her

face,takes one glance— and withd raws . Returning to

the reception room he takes his seat among the guests .

Pipes and coffee are handed round , and al l present offer

their good wishes . He,however , maintains an imper

turbable si lence,his mind i s supposed to be entirely

absorbed by one engrossing obj ect — the bride . His

brother, wh o s i ts by h is side , makes the necessary

acknowledgments .

When the Sheikhs have dined,others come in and are

88 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

because the meal i s i n a publ i c room,and strangers

may be there . Moslem women never j oin in the

prayers at church they are accommodated with a partrai led off

, and a latt ice sh ields them from the publ ic

gaze . The j ealousy of their husbands goes to great

lengths . For example,a Druse Sheikh

,or wealthy

Moslem , when he calls for a physician fo r any lady

of his harem,makes a great mystery o f the matter .

Should the doctor ask to see the poor creature ’s tongue ,there i s much manoeuvring to avoid exposure . Some

t imes she thrusts her tongue through a rent in the vei l

made for the purpose . Again,i t i s considered qui te

improper for an unmarr ied lady to show any special

regard for h er future husband . Arabs give very poetic

names to their daughters,such as sun

,moon

,star

,rose

,

l i ly , diamond , or pearl . Married women think a great

deal of ornaments and j ewelry . They wear gay flowers,

paint their cheeks,putt ing hoh l round their eyes , as

the Egyptians d id of o ld , and stain both their hands

and feet wi th henna . But unmarried girls are no t

al lowed such vani ties . So l i ttle are women esteemed

that small boys often lord i t over their mothers and

s isters i n a most insolent manner . Husband s rule their

wives wi th the greatest severi ty,not even sparing the

ro d .

Among the Syrian Christ ians weddings usually take

place on a Sunday . Friday is devoted to the cere

monies of the bath,and on Saturday al l the neighbours

come in to see the br ide-elect, wh o is painted and gai ly

T HE SYR IAN S 89

dressed,and to offer their congratulations . During

the two previous days invi tat ions to the wedding are

conveyed to all friends— to the women by two women ,and to the men by two men . Cathol ics attend the

church,but Protestants are married in the br idegroom

’

s

house . The wedding day must be a trying ordeal for

the br ide she is p laced on a chair,and her hands , being

painted with henna,rest on a si lk handkerchief spread

out on her knees . Thus she must sit,arrayed in her

gay wedding dress,fo r hours together i n a room

crowded to suffocat ion ; and i t i s not considered

correct for her to open h er eyes,even fo r a moment !

When,at last

,the br idegroom sends for her

,she starts

off at once , accompanied by only two marr ied women

chosen by her mother . I t i s a sad day for the parents ,who frequently display much real grief at parting wi th

their chi ld . The bridegroom sends two or three men

and a number of women to fetch h is bride should the

d i s tance to his house be considerable , she r ides to her

new home . I f, however , the house i s in the same

vi l lage,o r town

,the bride walks , very slowly and

crying al l the way , a woman at each side supporting

her,for i t i s considered proper for a bride to show

the greatest reluctance to enter the house .

As a rule the procession takes pl ace after dark,and

then the accompanying crowd carry l ighted candles .

A temporary altar i s erected at the bridegroom ’s house,

and a priest,or bishop , performs the ceremony . The

congregat ion o f spectators , holding l ighted candles in

their hands,do no t hesi tate to indulge in conversation

9o MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

and even laughter during the service . Priest,bride

,

and bridegroom walk three t imes round the altar,and the

crowns are placed three t imes on the heads of the man

and woman . Everything is done “ In the name of the

Father,and of the Son , and of the Holy Ghost .

” The

priest also blesses the bridal chamber . Feasting and

rej oicing continue fo r several days . The o ld customs

in Syria,as elsewhere

,are rapidly changing and young

men,instead of paying a sum of money to the parents

,

often seek i n marr iage some young lad y who wil l bring

them wealth .

92 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

great care is taken not to conceal any o f the stars and

spots tattooed on h er face and chest i n infancy . A

li ttle rouge is added . Travel lers sai l ing up the Ni le

may sometimes see a large boat going across , with a

gai ly—coloured canopy contain ing a bride,and a merry

party o n board all going to the wedding .

The Mahdi,whose cruel and despotic rule i n the

Sudan has caused so much m isery,has often a good

deal to do with the matrimonial affairs of h is sub

j e c ts . Slatin Pasha,i n h is deeply interesting bo o k ,

I

gives an example of the arbi trary way in which th is

despot exerc ises h is authori ty. Abu Anga , commander

of the Black Troops (Jehad ia) , and h is brother , Fand l

Manla , were sons of a l iberated slave-woman , their

father being one o f the Khal i fa’s relat ives . Fand l

Manla had a great friend and adviser,by name Ahmed

Wad Yunes,

o f the Shaigia tribe . One day they

appeared before the Khali fa,and the former asked

permiss ion for his friend Yunes to marry a certain

girl and receive the prophet ’s blessing . Unfortunately ,as i t happened

,the tyrant was i n a bad humour o n

that day ; the girl’s father was at once sent fo r , and

asked whether i t was his wish to bestow the hand of

h is daughter o n Yunes . Rece iving a reply in the

a ffirmative,the Khal i fa

,wishing to show h is authori ty

,

said,

“ I have decided,and consider i t to the girl ’s

advantage,that she should marry Fand l Manla . Have

1 “ F i re and Swo rd i n th e S udan , 1879—95 , by R . C . S l a t i nPasha . Tran s l ated by M aj or F . R . W i nga t e . Lo ndo n , 1896 .

ABYSS INIA 93

you any obj ection ? Needless to say the father

assented,for he dared not refuse ; and the Khal i fa ,

turn ing to his attendants,ordered them to proceed at

once to read the form o f prayer and blessing used at

marri ages,which they did forthwith

,and dates were

partaken of by the bride and bridegroom . Then the

Khal i fa dismissed al l those present,and “ Fadl Manla

departed , one wife to the good , whi lst Yunes was onehope poorer ; but what the girl said about the new

arrangement I cannot tel l . The Pasha was detainedfo r seven years a pr isoner in the Mahdi ’s camp , and

is probably the best authori ty on the ways of these

Sudanese Arabs and he states that he knew men who ,

i n the space of ten years,had been marr ied forty o r

fifty l

time s ! Also that there are many women who ,

during the same peri od,have had fi fteen or twenty

husbands,and in their case the law enj oins that

between each d ivorce they must wai t at least three

months .

The people of Abyssin ia make a broad distinction

between c ivi l and rel igious marr iages . The former are

hardly considered binding , and so can be dissolved o n

some very sl ight pretext,whi le the latter const i tute a

solemn tie that cannot be broken . The consequence

is that only those whose marr iages turn out happily

bind themselves together for the rest of their d ays .Most Abyssinians prefer a more temporary and ex

perimental form of all i ance .

The c ivi l marriage takes place in a tent made of

94 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

wooden stakes and reeds,and there the feast i s held .

Certai n places which we may cal l “ the Seats of the

M ighty are reserved fo r distinguished people,but

otherwise there is very great freedom . All are welcome without regard to age or rank

,and feast to thei r

heart ’s content . But those who have already done so

must leave so as to make room for hungry mortals

outside awai ting their turn , and sometimes a good deal

o f force is necessary to expel.

them . The bride is

carried o n a man ’s back and deposi ted o n a stool .The bridegroom , probably i n imitat ion of the -ancient

custom o f carrying off wives by force,takes the bride

i n his arms and carries her e i ther to h is own house

o r round her own . The crowd of i nvi ted guests

follow him and help to hold the orthodox nupti al

canopy over her .

The men appear to be devoid of all sense of Chivalry,

and are very harsh and rough in their manner towards

a wife . Should an angry husband box her ears,or

strike her with a st i ck , the wife wi ll bear her punish

ment with admirable fort i tude . I n some cases,i f the

man is not very much the stronger of the two,She may

strike her husband back,but as a rule the inj ured

woman repl ies with a torrent of abuse and stinging

insults . Where the marriage tie is so loose i t need

no t be wondered at that married women are often great

fl irts,and endeavour by means o f languish ing eyes to

attract attenti on from those who happen to take their

fancy .

When Abyssinians arri ve at an advanced age they

TRIPOLI 95

very frequently become monks or nuns,whether they

be rich o r poor,marr ied or unmarr ied. The rich then

del iver over their possess ions to their ch i ldren .

The handsome and well—bui lt people of Somal i land,

some of whom a year ago were so much admired at

the Crystal Palace,have a curi ous custom of shutting

up the bride and bridegroom for seven days . Here

follows the description of an eye-witness . “We were

i nvited into a steaming mat—hut,and then formal ly

presented to a youthful bridegroom who appeared as

disconsolate as a fresh widower . This might have

been due to the suffocating effect o f the unadulterated

incense which ascended from a smal l copper brazier

placed o n the floor,or to the sudden loss of a coy

bride who ,on our approach

,had taken refuge in an

adj oining compartment , which was sacred . As a

prelude to the holy estate of matrimony,bridegroom

and bride are confined during seven days in o ne of

these stifl ing double- roomed dens,and are supposed to

hold a dai ly lefvée open to all relatives and friends , wh oare l i censed to chaff them to their hearts ’ content . ” I

The follow ing description of a wedding which took

place in Fezzan about fifty years ago wi ll serve to

show how marriages are celebrated by the M ohamme

dans of Tripol i . The Sultan had given two of his

cast-off women in marriage to two of his own Slaves

o ne of these was his secretary and barber , the other hisI “ T h e Un k nown Ho rn ofAfri c a

,by F . L . J ame s .

96 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

groom . Fo r several days there were gay doings in the

l i ttle square before the mosque . The first n ight the

barber and secretary (wh o was the greatest man of the

two) was seated in state on a carpet and mats placed onthe ground

,i n the centre of the square

,supported o n

each side by a friend,who

,as well as h imself

, wascovered with fine borrowed clothes

,though the bride

groom of course showed most bright . H e was very

solemn and dignified,having a l ighted candle and lamp

placed o n the ground before h im . The men and

women sung round h im unti l near midnight,treating

him wi th great respect . He held a fan in h is hand,

and occasional ly bowed to the company . The bride

was then brought from the castle,surrounded by a

great concourse of women,wh o were vociferating in

rapid succession their cr ies of j oy . She held a l ighted

candle in h er hand,and had on a profusion of S i lver

and bead ornaments ; she was quite black and very

handsome,and had borne three Chi ldren to the Sultan

,

all ofwhom had died . The bridegroom did not deign

to look at her,but su ffered the procession to pass along

to h is house ; when , after wai t ing about half an hour ,he rose in a stately manner

,and leaning h is hands on

the friends wh o walked on each side of h im (in the

manner of the Bashaw o f Tripol i and the Sultan of

Fe z z an) he slowly proceeded home , the dancers follow

ing h im and singing songs of congratulat ion . The

second night passed in much the same manner , and on

the following day the bridegroom, who had been a few

hours before gl i tter ing in scarlet and gold , was seen


the br ide they say, that i s not settled yet,but we

shall be sure to hear of a girl somewhere

General ly,when a mother hears of some n ice girl

l ikely to prove a good wife to h er son,she takes two

other women with h er and vis its the young lady’s

mother,i n order to see fo r herself whether what she

has heard be true . Should she be sat i sfied she asks the

mother for h e r o n behalf of her son ,and the mother

repl ies,Ask her father

,and if he consents

,I wi l l

give h er . After that the young man must apply to

the father,and

,escorted by six o r seven men

,pays h im

a visi t . I n some vi l lages the head man has a great deal

to do with the arranging of marriages,acting the part

of father to those who are orphans,and in any case

assisting the father i n h is negotiat ion with the suitor .

The formal engagement takes place i n the head man ’s

presence . The amount received by the father for h is

daughter varies greatly,and depends o n the young

man ’s posi ti on and means . I t i s never less than twenty

dol lars,and sometimes as much as six hundred or seven

hundred . The bridegroom- elect provides an ox for

the feast at the bride ’s house,and i f he can afford i t

another to be ki lled at hi s own house . The people

appear to attach some idea of sacrifice to the kil l ing o f

an ox at these feasts . Among other th ings he must

provide the henna for stain ing the bride’s hands and

feet,a kind of earth used in the bath , a considerable

quanti ty ofwheat , butter , charcoal , blankets , See . The

bride buys her trousseau partly out of the money

received by her father . Gi rls love to make a good

MOROCCO 99

Show at their weddings,and so lay by what they can

from time to t ime for th is purpose . S i lver and gold

bracelets she must have,and now she can afford to

buy them . Bright,pretty robes sh e must also have

,

one of cloth and another of s i lk . But she also makes

o ne o r two garments for the bridegroom .

Feasting goes on day and night fo r seven days

before the marriage takes place . Early on the first

day native music ians arrive and play morning and

evening fo r several days ; their music and their

chanting sound to our ears very dreary and mono

tonous,but the natives are delighted with i t

,young

and o ld leav ing their work to come and l isten to the

strains . As with the Jews of o ld and the Chinese o f

to -day (see pp . 40,89) the bride is expected to make

great lamentat ion at the prospect of leaving home,and

to declare that she has no wish to be married,which

,to

say the least , is not s incere . Meanwhi le , on the first

day,a messenger is sent round to bid the guests come

to the marriage,fo r all things are now ready . Then

the ox,or the two oxen , as the case may be , are led to

the slaughter . I n the afternoon the bride is taken by

her girl friends to the bath , returning late i n the

evening . The feasting goes on merri ly ; guests , al l

arrayed i n their best , remain with the bride all night ,talking and laughing and making j okes , while she , poorthing

,l ies on the ground wrapped up in her blanket !

On the next day also there is a great gathering of

women and girls,the house and all i ts precincts being

crowded with guests .

I O O MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

On the th ird day the final preparat ions are made,the

bride again audibly bemoaning her fate . The lawyers

draw up a marriage contract and make a complete l i st

o f all h er worldly possessions . A married woman

retains her own property,and i f d ivorced

,as i s often

the case,can claim everything that is wri tten down on

the l ist . An hour o r two before sunset the bridegroom

sends the box i n which the bride i s to be conducted

o n a mule to his house i t has a pointed roof,and is

only j ust b ig enough for h er to squat in . A profes

sioual woman from the town is h ired to dress the bride

in s imple whi te c lothes . She paints her face,combs

out her hair,and puts on her j ewels fo r he r. Then a

l i tt le before sunset the bridegroom ’s men come with a

mule (unless the distance to h is house i s very Short) to

fetch the br ide . She squats in the l i ttle box and is

borne in process ion on the mule all round the town

o r vi llage , the men danc ing round her and firing off

their matchlocks every few minutes , and a great crowd

following . On her arrival the bridegroom,mounted

o n horseback , comes out a l i ttleway to meet her , withh is c loak drawn over h is head so far as to cover h i s

face,and both together stop fo r a few minutes at the

door of the mosque , Whi le the fakih , who i s partly aminister

,gives them his blessing and wishes them all

happiness . At last they reach the bridegroom’s house

where the bride i s received by women only . At about

ten o r eleven o ’clock the women ret ire , and the husband

and wife are left alone . Very early next morning the

former goes forth , and if he i s pleased with his wife

I o 2 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

house is not expected to provide wine,or strong drink

,

but very often some o f the men bring wine with them .

I II the cases o fwidows,o r divorced women , the mar

riage fest iv i t ies are much curtai led .

In some parts of Algeria and Tunis a curious custom

is sti ll pract ised . When the bride enters her new home

the bridegroom,walking backwards

,holds a dagger in

h is hand , and sh e follows h im,touch ing the point of

the blade with the t ips o f her fingers . I n accordance

with another sti l l stranger custom,the unfortunate

bride is obl iged to stand against a column in the pub l i c

place,and under the gaze of the people

,fo r two hours

o r more , her eyes c losed , her arms hanging straight

down,and her feet rest ing on the narrow base of the

column . So trying is the ord eal that she sometimes

faints .

A Kabyle wife leads a much happier and far more

rational l i fe than an Arab married woman ; no rival

shares her husband ’s heart— she i s his wife in the best

sense o f the word,treated with affection and respect .

She takes her meals wi th the fami ly,and is present

even when there are guests in the house . In summer,when her household duties permit

,she assists her

husband in hi s work,taking part wi th h im in the

labours of the field . Kabyle women are decidedly

more handsome than those o f the Arabs , o r of the

Moors .

An artist,

I who has travel led in Algeria and pub

M r. Edgar Barc l ay . M o un tai n L i fe i n A lgeri a . Lo ndo nKegan

,Pau l 8: C o . ,

1892 , p . 82 .

THE KABYLES 103

lished a book i llustrated by his own drawings; thusdescr ibes what he saw of a Kabyle wedding in the

neighbourhood of Borj Boghni :

The bridegroom had gone to fetch h is bride,and

I wai ted with many others beside a stream that flowed

at the foot of the vi llage,fo r his return . Sudden ly

we heard the sound of pipes,and sawthe marr iage

procession-

streaming from the summit of a neigh

bouring hil l , and then lose i tself among the trees ; a

fewminutes later i t issued from the avenue near usand ascended a slope towards the bridegroom ’s house .

First came the pipers,then the br ide mu ffled up in a

vei l,rid ing a mule led by her lover . As wel l as I

could j udge,

she was very young , almost a Chi ld .

Then came a bevy of gorgeously dressed damsels ,sparkl ing with si lver ornaments

,followed by a crowd

ofher fr iends,and Kabyle D i ck and Harry . I II front

of the bridegroom ’s house the procession stopped the

girl ’s friends l i ned both sides of the pathway and

crowded about the door . The pipers marched off on

one side,while the bridegroom lifted the girl from the

mule and held her in his arms . The girl ’s friends

thereupon threw earth at h im,when he hurri ed forward

and carr ied h er over the threshold , those about the

door beat ing h im all the t ime with ol ive branches

amid much laughter. This throwing of earth,th i s

mock opposi t ion and good—natured scourging appear

to be a symbol ised rel i c of marriage by capture,and

a l iv ing explanation of the ancient Roman custom o f

carrying the bride over the threshold of her lover’

s

1 6 4 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

house (see pp . 8, 14 ,I II the evening O II such

occasions the pipers and drummers are cal led in,and the

women dance,two at a time facing each other nor does

a couple desist unti l,panting and exhausted

,they step

aside to make room for another. The dance has great

energy of movement , though the steps are smal l .

As leaves flutter before the gale so do they vibrate to

the music they shake , they sh iver , they tremble .

They also deride the men by clapping their hands to

the music and singing verses . ”

In ancient Rome customs such as these were observed .

The bride was brought home in procession,with S inging

and the musi c of the flute ; she was carried over the

threshold,and in the evening there was a marriage

feast . This habi t of carrying the bride was variously

accounted for. Concerning the bride,they do not

allow her to step over the threshold o f the house,but

people sent forward carry her over,perhaps because

they in old time seized upon women and compelled

them in this manner . ” 1 Another explanation suggested

by Mr . Barclay is that the bri de was carr ied in order

to avoid the chance of tr ipping at the threshold,which

would have been considered a very bad omen ! And

he quotes a verse as follows

Le t th e fai thful thre sho ld gre e tW i th ome n s fa ir

,tho se l ove ly fe e t

,

L igh t ly l i fted °

o’

e r

Le t th e garlands wave and bowFrom th e l o fty l i n te l ’s brow

That bede c k th e do or.

1 Se e B e c k e r’s “ Gal l u s .

CHAPTER VI I

Equatorial Africa

AMONG the Ewe - speaking people of the S lave

Coast of West Africa,a girl who is looking out

fo r a husband pays visi ts to her relations and friends

attired i n her best garments,and adorned with the

fami ly j ewelry . Should some sui tor come forward,he

declares h is intentions by sending a man and woman to

he r father ’s house, wh o bring two large flasks of rum

and deposi t them 011 the floor,with the remark

,O ur

uncle wishes to marry o ne of the girls ,” and then retire

as soon as they have informed the father o f the name o f

the person whom they represent . Should the proposed

union be regarded in a favourable l ight by the girl ’s

parents they return the flasks,empty

,to the sui tor ,

which means to say that he is accepted . Soon after

this he sends round two more flasks of rum ,together

with cowries and two pieces of c loth for the girl , and

enters into negotiations wi th the parents wi th regard to

purchase money . When the fair o ne accepts h is pre

sents of cowries and cloth she i s betrothed to him . I f

he be poor,and if the parents demand a high price fo r

their daughter,i t may be a long time before the

SLAVE COAST 1 67

wedding takes place . When at last the day of marri age

comes , the parents appear to Show ,or rather

,we Should

say , are compelled by custom to show , the greatest

possible reluctance to part with their daughter , and so a

curious l i ttle bi t of comedy takes place . Soon after day

break the bridegroom sends a messenger with a present

of rum to ask for the br ide. At this her parents affect

great reluctance,and delay the messenger wi th var ious

excuses unti l about noon . A second messenger then

arrives w i th the same request,but st i l l the bride fails

to appear ; and not unti l about sunset , when a th ird

messenger arrives from the impatient bridegroom , do

the parents consent to give their daughter away . The

bride ’s fami ly then escort her to the br idegroom ’s

house,where a feast i s held . Finally four matrons

del iver the bride to her husband,saying

,

“ Take her .

I f she pleases you and behaves wel l,treat her kindly .

I f she behaves i ll correct her Next d ay, i f al l has

gone well,the husband (as in I ndia) sends presents to

the parents after a week the br ide returns to her o ld

home— probably with the idea of showmg that there isno i l l-feel ing between the two famil ies . Seven days

later she sends her husband food cooked by herself, and

final ly takes up her abode with h im . I t is i nterest ing

to note that the Turcomans,as wel l as Hindus and

other peoples,have somewhat simi lar customs

,doubt

less of ancient origin .

According to M i ss Mary Kingsley, I marriage among1 “ Trave l s i n We s t Afri c a

,by M ary H . Ki ngs l ey

,Lo ndo n ,


the Igalwa and M’pongwe people is no t brought about

by direct purchase,but a certain present

,of fixed

amount , i s made to the mother and uncle of the girl .I II case there i s a divorce

,which is frequently the case ,

these presents must be returned .

M i ss Kingsley also speaks of matrimonial quarrels .

The Igalwa ladies,

she says,are spiri ted and

devoted to personal adornment,and they are naggers

at their husbands . Many times,when walking on

Lembarene I sland,have I seen a lady stand in the

street and let her husband,who had taken shelter inside

the house , know what she thought of him in away thatreminded me of some London slum scenes . When the

husband loses his temper,as he surely does sooner or

later,being a man

,he whacks h is wife

,o r wives , i f they

have been at h im in a body . This cr is i s usually takes

place at n ight and when staying on board the M ore”

,

or Eelairenr,moored alongside the landing—place at

Lembarene I sland,I have heard yells and squalls of a

most d ismal character . He may whack with impuni ty

so long as he does no t d raw blood ; i f he does , be i t

never so l i ttle,h is wife i s off to her relations

,the pre

sent he has given for her i s returned,the marriage is

annulled,and she can re -marry as soon as she i s able

3 ,to . But the parents retain certain propiti atory offer

ings,which are given by the husband independently of

the other presents,and they are often glad to receive

their daughter back again on account of the prospect of

more presents from the next sui tor,supposing that she

is st i ll young .

I 10 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

two large baskets for carrying plantains from the plan

tatio ns,a number of calabashes (gourds) , a large pack

age of ground-nuts,a package of pumpkin seeds , two

dried legs of antelope,h er stool

,and a few more i tems .

The bridewas gai ly dressed,and her chignon had been

elaborately prepared on the prev ious day . As she left

the v i l lage people remarked to each other,Her hus

band will see that the M obana people do not send away

their daughters wi th noth ing ! The aged mother,

who went as far as the end of the street,took a great

pride in sending h er daughter away with such an

outfit I

The people wh o inhab i t the island of Fernando Po

(Bube tribe) , immigrants from the opposi te coast of

Biafra in West Equatorial Africa,wear hardly any

clothing,but o n certain great occas ions rub themselves

wi th tola paste , i .e .,palm O il mixed with the leaves of a

herb cal led tola . I t has a powerful odour . The men

generally cover their heads with large flat hats of

wickerwork,covered wi th monkey Skin

,ch iefly as a

protection against tree -snakes . Yellow ochre adorns

their hair . Some years ago an Englishman residing in

the island (Dr . Hutch inson) witnessed the wedding ofthe King ’s daughter . Great preparat ions went on in

his Maj esty ’s ki tchen . The happy bridegroom was

seen standing outs ide the hut of the bride ’s mother and

undergoing his toi let at the hands of his future wife ’s

I “ A J o urn ey to Ashango l and , by Pau l B . d u Chaillu,

London , 1867.

FERNANDO PO 1 1 1

s ister . The current coin of th is l i ttle realm consists of

smal l p ieces of a certain shell , which are called tsh ihhn ;str ings of these were fastened round h is body , legs , and

arms . The lady , who smoked a short pipe during the

Operat ion,anointed the bridegroom with tola paste .

Finally she pinned on h is hat,made of plai ted bamboo ,

after which he and a groomsman partook of a hearty

meal of stewed flesh and palm oi l . Then the bride

was led forth by h er own and the br idegroom ’s mother,

each holding one of h er hands,followed by profess ional

singers and six bridesmaids . She presented a strange

appearance,being heavi ly loaded with rings

,wreaths o f

flowers,and a great deal of tola paste . But her toi let

was as yet far from complete , so the women led h er

away to a place out of s ight,where they plastered her

whole body with tola paste,and covered h er face and head

with a large vei l of tshihhn shells . A head -dress of c owhide served fo r a hat . For more than an hour the

pat ient bride stood in the broi l ing sun undergoing these

Operations,whi le the professional singers were employed

in celebrati ng her praises . However,as the poor

creature had been C losely confined in a hut for the

prev ious fifteen months , we may naturally suppose thatstanding in the sunl ight would be by no means an

unpleasant change . Bride and bridegroom nowtookup their po sitIons s ide by side in front of the hut

whence the two mothers had led out the bride after

her long captivi ty . The bridesmaids , who were al lof different ages , stood in a row ,

all wearing parrot ’s

feathers in their hair .


And now the wed ding ceremony began ; the profes

sional singers chanted their songs,whi le the bride ’s

mother stood behind the happy pair and folded an arm

o f each round the other ’s body,and

,with words which

could no t be heard,pronounced them to be man and

wife . Each was exhorted to be fai thful to the other,a

pledge which was confirmed by passing round a goblet

o f palm-wine . Each took a sip therefrom : first the

mother of the bridegroom,then her son

,then the bride

,

and lastly the bride ’s mother. After th is there was

much dancing and singing,and the scene became very

animated . Finally the newly—married pair proceeded

to their hut,the o ld wives walking before them .

Arrived at the door,they embraced

,presents were

given to the bride , the bridegroom placed four rings

OI I h er fingers,and after further exhortat ions from the

mother—in—lawto the bride , they were left to themselves .

Among some o f the central African tribes,the

Banyai,fo r instance

,women are treated with great

respect and deference . They possess land , and their

husbands always consult them in any important matter

of business ; and no t on ly so , but they frequently

transact business o n their own account , travell ing forthat purpose to distant towns . Here the girls are no t

bought with oxen o r cows,as among the Kaffirs , but

the young man comes and l ives with h is wi fe ’s parents ,working fo r them and obeying them in all things . He

must be a hewer o f wood and a drawer of water , and

I I 4 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

The people of Uganda I are d ivided into clans,each

d i st inguished by i ts crest,o r totem

,the figure of some

animal which is sacred to the members of the fami ly,

and may not be eaten by them . Two persons of the sameclan may not marry (compare China , p . Marr iage

is simply a matter of bargain . AS soon as the young.

man has paid the pri ce of h is bride to her father he is

at l iberty to take her to his hut . But the'

rich and

powerful do not pay anyth ing . Peasants are only too

glad to give their daughters in marriage to the chief,

wh o can take them by force i f he wi lls . For ordinary

people the usual way of proceeding is to buy a slave

girl , wh o becomes the absolute property of her master .Such wives give less trouble

,for they cannot return

to their own people i f harsh ly treated .

The late Mr . Joseph Thomson , wh o led a famousexpedi tion across Africa

,describes a cur ious domesti c

quarrel i llustrative of the thoughts,manners

,and

customs of the people in the region of the Central

Afri can Lakes . He had o ffic iated , at a place called

Kwa—Muinyi M twanna, at the wedding of a cc

porter and a freed woman . For three days al l ,

well,and the young wi fe was wel l treated , but th is

happy state of th ings soon ended . One morning Mr .

Thomson was aroused early by screams proceedingfrom the hut where these two had put up , and on

I T h e re a l name of th i s p art of Afri c a is Buganda, whi chbe come s Uganda on th e co as t . M uganda me an s a n at i ve of th e

c o un try,of whi c h th e p l ura l is Baganda ; so we o ugh t to spe ak of

the se p e op l e as Baganda .


slave- raiding . When the Bri t ish authori t ies first began

to wage war against the slave traders there,and were

in want of native troops fo r the purpose , thousands

came forward to volunteer for service 011 the under

standing that they should be permitted to carry off

the enemy ’s women ! Needless to say the men could

not be accepted O II those terms ; but the porters ,though unarmed

,gave a good deal of trouble on the

march by helping themselves to wives . The women ,as a rule

,made very l i t tle resistance ; perhaps they

rather l ike a change . Such scenes have their comic

aspect too .

“ I t i s almost l ike playing a game , says

our Commissioner . The man wai ts h is opportuni ty ,and takes the woman by surprise O II her way to thestream to get water

,o r as she passes by from the

plantation where she works . I t is only necessary for

the man to show that he is determined or that there i s

no way o f escape,and the woman submits to what , no

doubt,to h er mind appears to be Fate .

” However,i f the new partner treats her badly

,she can general ly

find some means of escaping to her first husband— wecannot say “ first love

,for the people do not marry

fo r sentimental reasons . But , as a rule , the women

cheerfully accept these sudden changes . Perhaps they

add a variety wh ich otherwise might be wanting in

their matrimonial experience .

CHAPTER V I I I

South Africa

HATEVER virtues may be ascr ibed to the dark

races of Africa,i t cannot be said that they

possess a sense of ch ivalry to women ; the gentler sex

seem to do al l the hard work . An Englishman once

looked into the hut of a Kaffir and sawa stalwart mansi tt ing there smoking h is pipe

,Whi le the women were

hard at work in the broi l ing sun ,bui lding huts

,

carrying timber,o r performing other equally severe

tasks . The Engl i shman , feel ing indignant , as he

naturally would,told the Kaffir to get up and set

to work l ike a man . Now the Kaffir is naturally very

pol ite,and as a rule carefully avoids saying anything

which might appear rude to a Stranger,but th is indi

vidual was so amused at the suggestion that he repl ied

with a laugh,Women work , men sit in the house and

smoke ! ” But,i f the men are hard on the women

,

the latter are often hard on each other . For example,

a favourite young wife is l i able to be badly treated by

the others,especial ly if she be good—l ooking . Their

j ealousy prompts them to beat her and scratch her face

in order to diminish her Charms . They know they


wil l receive a beat ing at the hands of their husbandwhen he finds out, but revenge is sweet , and so the

wives take their punishment quiet l y and with a good

grace,having had their way wi th the obnoxious

rival .

With the Kaflirs,among whom we must include the

Z ulus , a wife is bought , but this implies no degradation .

I t is the way with most Eastern nat ions . The bigger

the price,the more she i s pleased

,for her husband

evidently valued her highly . A marriage is not val id

unless the bride i s purchased from her parents . On

inquiring into the state of the matrimonial marketweShal l find when i t i s “ firm , as c ity people say , that a

man must pay as much as twelve or fifteen cows for a

wife , while in some parti cular case the father may

demand no less than fifty cows . I f, on the other

h and,wives are “ down

,a g irl may go for only ten

cows . A purchaser natural ly wishes to get good“ value for his money , and in this case the “ value

depends,

first,on the y oung woman ’s personal qual i

fications,good looks , &c . , and , secondly , on the rank

held by her father . Part of the purchase money mnst

be paid at once,as a guarantee of good faith ; but

i f the bridegroom be no t to o wel l Off,he may give a

guarantee to pay the rest as t ime goes on . I t i s clear,

then,that an impecunious man runs a considerable

chance of remaining a bachelor,at least for some time .

The word impecunious in this case is especial l y appro

priate , for , as every schoolboy knows , the ancient

Romans measured their wealth by cattle,as Ka ffirs do

1 20 MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

he goes down to the river and , having careful ly washed

his dark person,comes up again dri pping and shining

l ike a dusky Tri ton ; but the sun soon dries h is skin ,and now he shines again with grease . H is dancing

attire is put on,a vessel of water serving fo r a mirror

,

and then,clothed i n his best

,and carrying shield and

assegai,he sets forth with beating heart and gal lant step

to do battle with the scornful bel le . Having reached

the kraal,he is received with a hearty welcome

,and

,

squatt ing down in the fami ly c ircle (which is here

something more than a figure of speech) , he awai tsthe lady ’s appearance . Presently she comes

,and

,s i tt ing

near the door, stares at h im in si lence . Then , having

surveyed him sufli ciently i n h is present atti tude , she

desires him,through her brother (for she wil l not

speak to him ) , to stand up and exhibi t his propor

tions . The modest man is embarrassed ; but the

mother encourages him,and

,while the young ones

laugh and j eer , he ri ses before the damsel . She now

scrutinises him in this posi t ion,and

,having bal anced

the meri ts and defects of a front view,desires h im

(through the same medium) to turn and favour her

with a different aspect . After this mutual seeing ,”

to use the Japanese expression,the girl retires

,pursued

by her family , who are greatly exci ted,wishing to

know her decision . But she is no t going to be bought

to o easi ly . The suitor must “ cal l again ” i n the

morning and show off h is paces in the cattle- fold .

His friends 011 that occasion praise him up to the

skies,and , i n the end , the girl usually g ives her

SOUTH AFRICA 1 2 1

consent . Arrangements are then made for the be

tro thal . Perhaps in the maj ority of cases the girl

accepts the suitor from fear of her parents,wh o may

use both moral and physi cal arguments on behal f of

the man ; but there are evid ently exceptions , and i t

is not every Kaflir who can win the fair one . The

suitor may have plenty of wealth i n the form of cows

(petunia) , and yet she may refuse him . I f a youth,i n

sp i te of al l his wealth and ornaments,i s faint—hearted

and fears rej ection,he buys a

“ charm from some

witch-doctor . If sti l l she dis likes him,the maiden

may seek refuge with another tribe, just as Arab girls

flee to the mountains (p . Great then is the

exci tement,all her relat ions sett ing out to try and

discover her whereabouts .

KaffIr young women are not so submissive as their

sisters in China o r Japan,and sometimes make a brave

fight for freedom,as the following story wi l l Show . A

young Kaffir chief won the heart of a certain girl by h is

dancing . The two were total strangers to each other,

but that was no obstacle to her,so she went to his kraal

and threw herself at h is feet . Unfortunately,the ch ief

did not return her affect ion ; therefore the on ly course

open to h im was to send fo r her brother to take h er

away,which he did . Before long

,however

,she

appeared again,which breach of Kaffir et iquette met

with a severe beating,but to no purpose a third t ime

sh e presented herself,and then

,at last

,her brother

suggested that i t might save a good deal of trouble if

the fasc inating chief would be so obl iging as to marry


he r, which he accord ingly did , the brother having

offered to pay a certain number of cows .On the wedding—day

,a Kaflir bride

,arrayed in beads

and other finery,is led in procession to the bridegroom ’s

kraal . Before start ing,her head i s shaved with an

assegai,al l except a l i ttle tuft at the top . Oxen are

given to the bride ’s mother,for the feast

,and others to

her father . There is much danc ing o n these occasions,

and very violent dancing i t is,such as barbarous people

indulge in . Bride and bridegroom also dance to each

other i n turn . Some sing to the dancers,while others

are ei ther cri t ic is ing or prais ing the br ide,and this i s

done with very great freedom (which reminds us of

what takes place in China . See p . The husband ’s

women friends and relat ions do not hesi tate to tel l

the poor bride that she i s not nearly worth the

pri ce he paid fo r her,whi le her own women cannot

suffic iently express their admiration of her . To them

she appears to be the belle of the whole tr ibe , and her

husband ought to be very proud of her,and she was

worth many more oxen than he gave . But al l th is i s

only “ words,words

,words

,as Hamlet says

,and

means pract ical ly noth ing ; custom demands these

formal i t ies . Then comes an address by the father of

the girl,who gives the bridegroom a great deal of

good advice . I f th is i s h is first wife,he is told no t to

beat her too often,for wives can be ruled without

violence,a doctrine wh ich suggests the well-known

saying of the late John Bright that “ force is no

remedy. When the bride dances before the bride


no t come near to her,o r look upon h er face . Should

they be so unlucky as to meet,they pretend no t to see

each other. The woman generally takes advantage of

any convenient shelter,such as a bush

,whi le the man

looks the other way,using h is sh ield as a screen . More

over neither i s allowed to mention the name of the other,

which is often rather awkward . In that part of the

world names of people are often those of some famil iar

obj ect,such as l ion

,o r house

,or some common imple

ment,and so there are t imes when much c ircumlocution

is used to avoid mention ing the name which is taboo

to the husband .

The Kaflirs of De lago a Bay have some pecul iar

customs of their own. The marr iage ceremony takes

place in the bride ’s kraal ; here , on the appointed day ,great preparations are made for the feast

,towards which

the bridegroom must contribute a black goat and the

bride a wh ite cock . Refreshments having been served,

the bride is escorted by her maidens to a hut where they

d ress h er up as gai ly as possible for the occasion . The

bridegroom also retires in order to attire h imself in h is

best . During their absence a curious scene takes place,

such as we have already described o n p . 1 2 2 . The

bride ’s relations disparage the bridegroom as much as

they can,whi le the other fami ly make nasty and unkind

remarks about the bride . She i s not worth the money

they paid fo r her. She i s lazy,o r no t wel l—born

,and so

forth . However,there is a truce to these pretend ed

quarrels when the bride comes forth from h e r kraal,

covered wi th a long garment,reach ing from head to

BASUTOS 1 2 5

foot . Her companions surround her so closely as to

h ide her from publ i c View in th is fash ion they

move along very slowly,singing and chanting all the

way . The bride,o n arriving at her own kraal , st i l l

closely vei led,si ts down and begins to manifest great

grief by crying . Then h er future husband leaves h is

hut,and having entered the kraal

,s its down somewhere

near her,but not so that they can see each other. I t i s

customary to separate the men and women so the girls

take up their posi t ion by the side of the br ide,and the

men by the s ide of the bridegroom . When al l are

seated the black goat i s led in,walking on his h ind legs

,

and is slain by the master of the ceremonies,who

plunges h is assegai right in to the vict im ’s heart. With

the same weapon he then beheads the whi te cock . The

entrails of both creatures are immediately examined,i n

order to ascertain whether the fates are propi tious,and

l i tt le portions of the flesh are handed to both the bride

and bridegroom,who are expected at least to taste them

before they are cooked for the feast .

Much rum and native beer are consumed on these

occasions . For two o r three days,o r more

,according

to the wealth of the bride ’s fami ly,the feasting and

j ol l i ty i s kept up,with much sing ing and dancing .

Basuto betrothal and marr iage customs are curious .

If a man take a fancy to some native girl,he must

not say a word to her on the subj ect of matrimony .

Having found some old woman (or , i t may be h is

mother) , he confides to h e r his wishes to settle down


and marry , and requests her to make al l the arrange

ments . Accordingly h is mother,o r fri end

,arranges

for an appointment with the mother or guardian o f

the girl , and the two ladies talk it over and discuss

the important question 01 ways and means . Should

no obj ections arise,everyth ing is arranged between

these two . Infant betrothal i s common,espec ial ly in

the h igher ranks . The father of the prospect ive

bridegroom sends an ox as a present to the father o r

the girl—chi ld,and the family hold a feast . The Chi ld

receives the skin of th is ox as her marriage portion,

and she keeps i t for her use in after l i fe . Her uncle

provides a blanket,and sometimes a very handsome

one . When the girl i s old enough and he r relations

th ink that the right t ime has come to celebrate the

marriage,they send a message to her betrothed to say

that he has their leave to come and’

pay her a vis i t .

The family receive him with every mark o f attention,

and all sit down (except the young ones) in a c ircle .

At first S i lence reigns,and the betrothed couple only

exchange glances . After some time the man stands up

and says,

“ Al l hai l (Eh a’nmela) , which is the

Basuto form o r respectful salutation to the girl . She

responds in the same terms,and he then takes h is

departure,to return in about a fortnight . On re

turning,he comes to her father ’s kraal and looks

to se e whether the Skin of the ox presented by h is

father i s d isplayed o r not . I f i t is spread out he

claims her as h is wife without further ceremony . A

great feast i s held before the wedding . After marriage


which was kindly sent to the present writer (i nanswer to inquiries) by Mr . H . M . Stanley

,gives

an account of the very cruel manner in which a

princess,by name M o -Rena Mo—(h I ai, forced a slave

girl to marry a certain man much against her own

will . Dr. Holub had j ust arrived at a plac e cal led New

Shesheke . About n ine o ’clock in the evening,having

retired to rest earl ier than usual,he heard a tumult

,

the sounds appearing to proceed from a lagoon about

th irty paces distant . Narri,the servant

, wh o hadbeen sent to ascertain the cause of the disturbance

,

suddenly reappeared,almost out of breath after a sharp

run,with the startl ing inte ll igence that the princess

,

wh o was really Q i een of Ma—Bunda,had ordered

her servant to be nearly drowned because,poor th ing

,

she had been so bold as to refuse to take an ugly o ld

slave for a husband in spite of the princess ’ command

The girl ’s wishes,of course

,were not consulted ; all

shewas expected to do , being only a slave , was to obey .

When first the princess communicated her order,

the slave crossed her hands over her breast in token

of obedience,but burst into a violent fit of tears , on

account of which she was immediately dismissed .

The same day the princess summoned the girl to her

presence again and repeated her command in a peremptory manner

,when

,to her astonishment

,the slave

firmly decl ined to do as she was told ! This was

more than h er haughty royal h ighness could endure ,and orders were given fo r the disobedient slave-girl

to be held under water unti l nearly dead,then drawn

Z AMBES I RIVER 1 29

out and brought to the hut of her future husband,

where,on h er recovery

,she would be compelled to make

the best of i t and remain with the man who was royally

elected to be h er husband ! Impelled by a natural

desire to prevent th is catastrophe i f poss ible,D r .

Holub hastened at once to the lagoon . On the h igh

bank of the r iver he found a frantic crowd,all

gest iculating,some in lowtones , others wi th loud and

angry exclamations . But a l ittle lower down was

another group descending as quickly as the darkness

and the nature of the ground would permit , he saw

a weird sight . Several men and women were standing

on the edge of the calmly flowing stream , whi le between

them crouched a weeping girl . Two figures were

bending over an obj ect which they seemed to be

holding between them . As soon as the would-be

rescuer stepped into the water the two persons in the

water arose and approached the bank,dragging some

obj ect between them . I t was the motionless andinsensible body of the slave—girl , whether al ive or

dead i t was hard to say . The men went off with their

burden in the d ire ctiofI O f the princess ’ house , the

gal lant American fol lowing . Then they placed the

body down near o ne of the huts . One of the men

remained by the side of it,and also the weep ing girl

,

sister to the one lying helpless before her . The man

was actual ly the man selected to marry th is vict im of

royal tyranny , and had been appointed to c arry out

the sentence,poss ibly with the idea that he would

naturally endeavour to prevent a fatal result . Be thatI o


as i t may,the girl was not actually drowned

,and a

few hours afterwards,in the early morning

,the nat ives

were celebrating h er wedding ! The event was an

nounced by sounds which disturbed the slumbers of

D r. Holub . The fri ends and acquaintances,together

with the heartless spectators,had gathered before the

hut of the half- drowned bride to enj oy the wedding

dance ! Dressed in a tharis/ein, their ankles adorned

with shel ls,they whirled in a c ircle

,and were ae com

panied i n the dance by the beating of drums and by

singing , whi ch was now and again interrupted by

shouts . This dance continued two full days and

nights wi thout cessat ion,other dancers taking the

places of those wh o became exhausted . As I was

returning home the following day from my elephant

hunt,passing the huts of Mo-(k l ai ’s servants

,I saw

the M osari (the newly—married woman) seated 011

the floor before the entrance to her hut with one elbow

on her knee,sustain ing with her hand the weight of

her head,with a t ired and broken—down expression ,

er gloomy eyes stari ng into the grass which grew

around her hut . I t was not l ike the look of a newlymarri ed wife

,but the appeal ing glance of o ne in

despair.

I II Madagascar,where not a few Jewish customs

are to be traced,very great respect i s shown to the

o ld people,reminding one of the precept , “ Thou

shal t ri se up before the hoary head,and honour

the face o f the o ld man (Lev . x ix . Many a


these people,according to Dall

,know nothing of

what civi l ised nations cal l modesty,and yet a man

blushes when he i s obl iged to speak to h is wife,

o r to ask her for anything,in the presence of others .

Et iquette demands that they shall assume the

att i tude of perfect strangers ! The Hottentot woman

must never enter her husband ’s room in the hut ;and the husband

,as among the Spartans of Old

,should

never be seen anywhere near h is wife . One can

no t but wonder how such rules were ever invented .

Among the Yoruba,an Afr ican tribe

,a woman is

forbidden to speak to her husband,and may no t see

h im eoram populo, i f i t can possibly be avoided . A

simi lar notion appears to have prevai led among the

early people wh o spoke Sanscri t , for , in the Storyof Urvasi and Purfinas , the wife says to her lord ,“ Never let me see thee without thy royal gar

ments,fo r such is the manner of women .

” And

when by acc ident th is rule is broken,the husband

must softly and suddenly vanish away .

A C ircassian bridegroom must not l ive wi th h is

wi fe without the greatest secrecy . Fij i I slanders

display the greatest distress of mind when adven

turous missionaries suggest that there is really no

harm in a man l iv ing under the same roof with his

wife ! I n Fij i,neither brothers and sisters , nor

first cousins of opposi te sex , may eat togethermuch less speak to each other . The young Kaneka

(also of Polynesia) bolts with a wi ld scream into the

bush if you mention the name of his sister !

CHAPTER IX

Ahorzgines of N orth and South America

MONG the Eskimo of Greenland we find mar

riage by capture” in ful l force . Young men in

th is part of the world are not troubled with romantic

views of matrimony,and so do no t marry for love

,but

seek for a strong and healthy partner in l i fe who wil l

not shrink from the severe dai ly toi l which i s a ne ce s

sary condi t ion of l i fe i n these barren and cold regions .

Having selected some young woman as his future wife,

the youth goes straight to h er house,o r tent , seizes

her by the hair,or catches hold of her garments

,and

drags her ignominiously to his own home . Youngmen are sometimes ashamed to do th is for themselves

,

and so employ others to capture the young woman o n

their behalf. This , however, must not be taken to

imply that proposals are never made . But in these

cases the young woman is invariably expected to answer“ no

,however much in h er own mind she may be

will ing to become the man ’s wife . To say yes ’

al l at once and without a good deal of pressingwould be considered

,according to Eskimo standards

7

of good taste,to imply want of modesty on her part .

I 33


On the east coast o f Greenland the simple method of

capture above described is sti l l the only o ne in vogue .

This t ime-honoured custom is so much respected in

those parts,that the bride ’s relations

,so far from

ofl’ering any resistance to the rough usage , remain

passive spectators of the l i ttle comedy , and refuse to

interfere o n her behalf. Greenlanders have a strong

obj ection to interfering in other people ’s affairs .

After all,to a certain extent the young woman ’s fate

depends O II herself for, should she entertai n a strong

disl ike to h er would—be husband , i t i s i n her power to

wear o ut h is patience by continued and violent resist

ance , unti l the young man , thinking he is becoming an

obj ect of ridicule to the spectators of the scene , finally

renounces al l c laim to her hand— we cannot say her

heart— because,as we remarked above

,Greenlanders

do not marry fo r l ove . (Unfortunately the standard of

morals being very love affairs sometimes take

place after marriage,and vigi lance must be exercised

by the husband to prevent h is wife from running away

to some other man whom she prefers . Graah , wholed an expedi tion to the east coast in 1 837, narratesa story which proves how difficult i t i s for others to

know a young woman ’s real feel ing when being carried

off. An able—bodied young womanwh o rowed in h isboatwas o ne day seized by a Greenlander and carried

to the mountains in spi te of apparently genuine

struggles O II her part . Graah,not seeing through the

farce,really bel ieved that sh e had a strong dislike to

the man,and was confirmed in his opinion by her


The inhabitants o f the wi ld prairi es of North

America,ideal i sed so del ightfully by Mr . Longfel low

in h is “ Hiawatha,appear to be generally as un

romantic i n their marriages as other unc ivi l ised races .

A father sel ls h is daughter j ust as a Kaffir does . Mr.

Catl in,who wrote an important work o n these people

,

describes howa clever young son of a chief obtained

no less than four brides on the same day . The story

runs somewhat as fol lows

The father,to start h is SO II in l i fe

,gave him horses

and other property of considerable value . The young

man,rej oicing greatly i n hi s newly acquired weal th

,

conceived a plan,by means of which he thought he

could “ break the record at least in matrimon ial

affairs ; and he succeeded . His first step was to goto o ne of the ch iefs and ask h is daughter i n marriage

the request was granted fo r the consideration o f twohorses

,a gun

,and several pounds of tobacco .

So the happy day ” was fixed between them,with

the understanding that the engagement should be kept

a profound secret . Being “on the war- path for

brides , one only would not content him . He must

needs win three others . So the same tactics were

repeated with three other Chiefs,wh o al l promised him

their daughters,

O II the same terms,secrecy being

promised in each case .

The appointed day having arrived,the artful young

man gave i t out to the tribe that he was to be married

at a certain hour. His friends assembled at the ren

d e z vous ; but no o ne knewwh o was to be the bride,

NORTH AMERICAN IND IANS 1 37

while each of the four fathers stood by his daughter,ready to give her away with al l due formal ity . The

bridegroom then gave the two horses , gun , and tobacco

to the father with whom he had first negotiated and

claimed his bride . The other ch iefs natural ly were

highly indignant,each declaring that h is daughter

was the “ true br ide .

” A scene o f great uproar and

confusion followed ; the bridegroom coolly explained

to h is fel low- tr ibesmen how matters stood,and

claimed the other three young women in the same way

as he had already claimed the first . I t was a case of

“ready money

,

” for horses and al l were produced

and given to the chiefs . No one was able to forbidthe other al l iances

,s ince all was fair and honourable ;

and so in S ight of an admiring crowd the enterprising

young man led his four brides to h is W igwam,two

i n each hand .

The “ Medicine Men were so struck with his

boldness and original i ty that they enrolled him in

their ranks,making h im thereby equal with some of

the greatest men i n the tri be . In th is way he rose,

as i t were from to a posi t i on of great

influence .

Mr . Catl in says : “ I vis i ted the W igwam of this

young instal led Medicine Man several t imes,and saw

his four modest l i tt le wives seated round the fire,where

al l seemed to harmonise very well,and fo r aught I

could discover were entering very happi ly on the duties

ofmarried l ife . I selected one of them fo r h er portrai t

and painted Mong- shong—shaw the ‘bending wi l low


in a very pretty dress of deer skins,and covered with

a young buffalo ’s robe,which was handsomely orna

mented and worn with much grace and pleasing

e ffect .

The same author,who spent so much t ime with the

Indians,sketching them and studying their manners

and customs,bears strong testimony to the affect ion

which,i n spite of the hard work put upon women

,

ex ists between parents and their daughters . There are

cases in which the wishes or decrees o f parents are set

at nought but this i s qui te the excepti on . The S ioux

have a bold proj ect ing rock six or seven hundred feet

high overlooking a lake,from which

,i t i s said

,a beau

ti ful Indian girl,the daughter of a chief

,threw herself

in the presence of her tribe some seventy years ago,

and was dashed to pieces,rather than become the wife

of a man whom her father had selected for her husband .

Among the S ioux,i f one o f them contracts an

al l iance with the eldest daughter of a Chief,he is

thereby married to the family,

”

no t on ly in name (as

we should say in j est) but i n fact , for he i s then atl iberty to claim any o f the other daughters . With the

Oj ibways the young people are betrothed in “ ch i ld

hood ’s happy hour ” by their parents,at least i t is

general ly 80. But i f a young man is no t so engaged

he may send a present to the girl he fancies,the

acceptance o f which i s equivalent to a promise of

marri age . After a few months of courtship he i s

al lowed to take h er with him,

no t exactl y fo r a“ honeymoon

,

” but o n a l i tt le hunting trip . She

l 4o MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

friends come forward O II h is behalf to negotiate with

the father as to the amount of the purchase money ;for purchase i t is in real i ty

,although an Indian , i f

you asked him,would deny this

,and say that the

gifts o f the husband were of a more complimentary

nature .

The Indians inhabiti ng the western shores of Van

couver’

s I sland have a cur ious way of arranging

marriages,which is

,i n some respects

,unl ike anything

else we have come across . The suitor i s escorted by

a great number o f his fr iends,i n some thirty o r forty

canoes . Nobody speaks fo r about ten minutes , for these

ch i ldren of Nature are very reserved indeed . At last

the Visi tors are requested to say where they come from,

and what i s their obj ect in coming . Thereupon some

man gets up in h is canoe and harangues the natives on

shore at the very top o f his voice,and a very loud

voice i t i s . H is business is to l aud the would-be

husband in every possible way ; and thi s he does bygiving his name

,his t i t les and h istory

,stating also the

number of his friends and connections,hoping thereby

to obtain a considerable reduct ion in the purchase

money . Then,by way of a first bid

,the canoe is

paddled to the shore and a number of blankets thrown

o ut . This very small offer is received with der is ion

and roars of laughter from the bride ’s friends . They

are no t going to let her go quite so cheap as that ; he

must offer a great deal more . The answer given i s

more o r less equivalent to our slang express ion,

“ Get

along with you .

” Then arises an orator from the shore

142 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

seizes her i n his arms,with the Obj ect of carrying her

to some convenient shelter,where they can hold sweet

converse together unseen . This is the test of her real

feel ings ; for i f h is attent ions are unwelcome,

she

screams and struggles,so that he i s obl iged let her go .

But should she offer no res istance he knows that she

may be WO II and so they go off and si t down together

under the cover of a large blanket,which almost entirely

h ides them .

I t happens from time to time that two or three

youthful aspirants are al l paying court to one damsel .

I II such cases they al l apply th i s same test . Coming

near her lodge at n ight they conceal themselves,and

when she appears 011 the scene one seizes her,and if she

resists must give up al l claim and let her go,whereupon

the next o ne does the same . Perhaps he also is equal ly

uncared fo r,and so lets her go fo r the third one to try

h is luck . Should th is prove to be the favoured swain,

the others promptly retire,and leave the happy lover to

d o his courting unmolested,as described above . We

wil l suppose that the gir l is nowwon . But what about

he r father ? He,of course

,must have a voice in the

matter. A curi ous scene ensues between the lover and

the parent,which may be described as fol lows

I th ink of taking your daughter fo r my wife , says

the lover . She is an ugly th ing,l azy as a bear

,does

no t know how to cook or to work , and is O f no worth

but,as I am sure you must want to get r id of her, I

came to tel l you that as a favour to you I wi ll take her

O ff your hands . ”

NORTH AMERICAN IND IANS 143

Oh , answers the father , “ we want my darl ing

girl , the best and most loving daughter man ever had ,the best cook and dresser of buffalo skins , the finest

bread -maker,the hardest and most wi ll ing worker in

the whole tr ibe . I cannot spare my darl ing . I wi l l

not part with her to any o ne,much less to you, who

are young , who have taken on ly one scalp , who havestolen not more than two ponies . You i ndeed ! No ,you cannot have my daughter unless you give me

twenty pon ies for her .“ Twenty ponies ! ” cries the astonished lover with

great contempt twenty ponies fo r an ugly girl not

worth one buffalo robe ; I can buy a dozen better at

the price .

”

And so the haggling goes on,often with bi tter and

cutting personal remarks,the father prais ing and the

lover disparaging the girl . Both part ies often become

very violent but at last the father sees i t i s of no use

asking too much,and so in the end the lover gets h is

sweetheart fo r one o r two o r three ponies . The ponies

having been duly del ivered,the young couple l ive in

the house of the bride ’s father unti l her husband is ri ch

enough to provide a lodge fo r himself.

A wife is the husband ’s absolute property . But she

has this hold over h im he knows that i f he i l l—treats

her she wil l probably elope wi th some one else . In

that case matters are reported to the chief,and the man

who stole her pays a fine,but the woman wil l not go

back to her first husband .

The Cherokee Indians have invented a marriage


ceremony which may be said to be both simple and

poeti c,as well as or ig inal

,so far as the present wri ter i s

aware . The youth,having wooed and WO II the maiden

o f his choice,as soon as the usual presents have been

made to the father,takes h er to a smal l stream

,where

the two so lemnly j o in hands over the running water .I t i s not qui te easy to see how this custom arose

,but

with all o ld races water appears to possess some special

virtue and symbol ic meaning,as we see from Brahmin

,

Russian,and other customs . However

,the poetic side

o f the pic ture wi l l be obvious to all . We Speak o f

the river of l i fe,and doubtless the Indian and h is

bride wish that the course of their l ives may run

smoothly and harmoniously , and that nei ther in l i fe

no r i n death may they be divided .

The father ’s regret when his daughter leaves h im is

patheti cal ly told in Longfel low ’s wel l-known lines

From th e W i gwam h e depart ed,

Le ad i ng w i t h h im Laughi ng Wa te rHand i n hand they we n t to ge th e r

,

Thro ugh th e wo od l and an d th e m e adow,

L e ft th e o ld man S tand i ng lo ne lyA t th e doorway of h i s W i gwam ,

Heard th e fa l l s ofM i n n ehahaC a l l i ng to them from th e d i s tan c e

,

C ryi ng to them from afar off,

Fare the e we l l , 0 M i n n ehahaAnd th e an c i e n t Arrow-ma k e rTurn ed aga i n u n to hi s l abor

,

Sa t down by h is s u n ny do o rway,

M urmuri ng to h imse l f and sayi ng‘Thu s i t i s o ur daugh te rs l e ave u s,Tho se we l o ve

,and tho se who l o ve us


store for the daughter of the house,to whom the father

repl ies in a formal speech .

But al l this palaver i s mere ceremony and waste of

words,fo r i n the meantime the would-be bridegroom

is searching for his intended . When found she i s

expected to show the greatest possible reluctance , and

this she does by shrieking and screaming at the top o fher

voi ce,thus reminding one of the Greek custom where

the bride says,

“ Drive o n,never mind these tears ”

(see p . 1 H er cries are the signal for a fierce mock

combat . All the women take up sti cks o r stones , or

anything that ’s handy (as Mr . C . S . Calverley says) ,and rush to her aid . The men do the same

,and often

get rather severe blows . Finally the bridegroom makes

a dash for the bride,and drags her to hi s horse by the

hair or heels,l eaps o n his horse

,pul l s her up

,and

gal lops away to the forest . Her friends give chase,but

are warded off by his companions,unti l final ly they get

tired of al l this sham fighting .

On the second day the bride and bridegroom are

al l owed to emerge from the wood,and the marri age is

recognised . I f “ the wrong man ” should endeavour

to run away with the girl he is pretty sure to be beaten

off.

After a few days friends cal l,offer their good wishes

,

and bring wedding presents . But the motherin—l aw

for the sake of appearances, we presume— i s not so

easi l y appeased . In fact,as i s the case among Kaffirs

,

she may not speak to her son-in- l aw . At the feast

which concludes the ceremonies the bride must speak

TIERRA DEL FUEGO

to the husband for her mother,and asks h im i f he is

hungry .

Among the Patagonians marri age by capture i s

unknown there i s no ceremony,only an exchange of

presents on either side,those given by the woman being

in value equal to those she receives from the man .

Should they separate after a time her property is

restored to h er. The bride is escorted to the bride

groom ’s hut amidst the cheering of his friends and the

singing of women . They sl aughter a mare for the

occasion,and take great care not to le the dogs touch

any of the meat or offal,which would be considered

unlucky . I ts head , tai l , backbone , heart , and l iver are

taken to the top of a neighbouring hi l l as an offering

to the evi l spir i t .

Judging from the d escript ion given of them by

Darwin in his famous Journal , the inhabitants of Tierra

del Fuego (the l and of fire , a h ighly vol canic region)are the most miserable and degraded specimens of the

human race . . Here , as might be expected, we find

by capture in force . As soon as a youth

i s able to maintain a wife by h is own exert ions as a

fisherman and hunter, he obtains the consent of the

girl ’s parents,bui lds or steals a canoe , and wai ts for a

chance to carry off the parti cular girl he fancies . She,

of course,i s aware of h is intent ions , and , i f unwil l ing

to become his wife,seeks Shelter in the woods until he

i s tired of searching for her , but in practi ce th is seldom

happens .

CHAPTER !

Australasia

MONG the the wi ld aborigines of South Austral ia

and other parts of the continent there are no

marri age r i tes at all,and a wife is obtained either by

purchase from her father or brother , or else carried off

by main force . As in China,men and women having

the same family name are not allowed to marry . I n

accordance with customs no t yet fully understood,girls

are betrothed to certain men as soon as they are born .

This engagement is considered so binding that a woman

breaking i t i s ki l led (and often eaten ) whi le a man

who offends in the same way is punished by being

severely wounded with a spear . A married woman is

the mere slave of her husband ; i t is her duty to

provide him with an ample supply of roots and other

kinds of vegetable food . Hers is indeed a hard lot ;when game forms part of her lord ’s dinner

,she receives

nothing but bones and refuse . When ill , o r seriously

inj ured,she i s left to die wi thout the smal lest com

punction,and

,on the sl ightest pretext

,i s l iable at any

t ime to be cruel ly beaten or speared . Few women are

free from frightful scars on the head o r marks of spear

wound s on the body , while some are completely covered148

1 5 o MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

begins to l ook around,i f he has not already done so

for a suitable partner . We find no match-makers

here the young peopl e prefer to choose for themselves,

though,we are sorry to say , there is usual ly not much

l iberty of choice for the girls . They can,and

frequently do,refuse offers of marriage from men who

do not take their fancy ; but for al l that , the young

man general ly gets the girl he wishes fo r i n the end ,however much she or her friends may obj ect to the

marriage . Occasionally , i t happens that a maiden i s

courted at the same t ime by two men,whose claims

are pretty nearly equal . I II such a case the father,

refusing to arbi trate between the rivals , l eaves them to

fight i t out between themselves and his daughter .

They do not,however , actual ly come to blows ; but

each one taking her arm,endeavours forc ibly to

persuade her to come and l ive with him . So severely

do they handle the obj ect of their affections,that h er

arms are often dislocated,and always so severely

strained as to be useless for some time . I n old t imes,

according to several travel lers,actual combats took

place between the men,and these sometimes had a fatal

resul t . A young man whose offer has been refused sets

to work and contrives somehow to capture the girlwh ohas taken his fancy . Her relat ions and friends make

preparations against a sudden attack and when,sooner

o r l ater the raid i s planned , a severe struggle takes

place,i n whi ch cl ubs and other weapons are freel y used .

Instances are known of the girl beingkil led in spiteby one of the losing side

NEW GU INEA 1 5 1

The island of N ewGuinea is inhabited by three racesMalays

,from the Malay Peninsula

,Polynesians

,from

neighbouring island s,and Papuans . The latter people

received their name from the Malays,who cal led them

frizzly—haired (Pua Pua ,or Papuas ) .

Among the Papuans,when a young man is grown

up,that is to say

,when he is about twenty years of

age,he looks out for a wife . But there are d i fficult ies

in the way of marriage ; and when the future partnerhas been selected

,the would-be husband may have to

wai t a long time . Wives cannot be got for nothing ,and so the lover must make the best use he can of his

t ime and get together no smal l amount of worldly

goods wherewith to buy his wife from her parents,or ,

i f they are dead , from her relat ives . The payment

usual ly consists of pigs,food , ornaments , pearl—shel ls ,

cal i co,and beads , or other European arti cles of

manufacture if such have found their way to his vi l lage .

But there is a great variety in the presents received by

a bride from her husband,as the fol lowing account wi l l

prove Among other curious sights,we were shown

the pri ce,

or dowry, of a wife,heaped upon the

platformI of one of the houses . I t consi sted of a

quant ity of al l kinds ofNew Guinea goods and chattels,

pots,earthenware , wooden weapons , bird—of-paradise

plumes,bask ets of yams , bunches of bananas and other

produce . Among the art i cles were two pigs t ied up

I The se p la tfo rms are a t some he igh t abo ve th e gro u nd . Se e

th e l arge framed pho tographs i n th e Bri t i sh M use um,E thno logi c a l

Ga l lery.


underneath the house . The bride herself sat , al l smiles ,on the verandah above , over her earthly treasures , with

as much pride as any white sister might feel on

exhibit ing her trousseau .

”I

The pig,o r pigs

,must on no account be omitted .

As a rule,a woman

,on her marriage

,i s deprived of all

her hair and ornaments . But at Maiva the brid e

retains her pretty hair and the ornaments . As a S ign

to al l that she is now married her face i s tattooed young

girls are tattooed al l over the body,their faces only

excepted . On the day of the wedding a great feast i s

held , at which the company devours yams , bananas ,betel nut

,and the fatted pig . Presents are brought by

the invited guests,and these consist ch iefly of

contributi ons such as can be eaten . Bride and bride

groom are dressed in al l their best garments and decked

out i n feathers , shel ls , and bright leaves of plants . No

priest is cal led in to t ie the knot,and

,as soon as the

feast ing is over,the young couple sett le d own to

married l i fe . Some of the Papuans,no t content with

one,marry three or four wives

,buying each in the

usual way . The marriage t ie i s not considered very

binding,and i t is no uncommon occurrence for a woman

to leave her husband three or four t imes during their

married l i fe . Under these c ircumstances domest ic l i fe

can hardly be said to present a pleasing picture Often

i t is the other way, and the husband is the offender .These unfortunate affairs lead to frequent confl i cts .

I “ P i c t u re squ e N ew Gu i n ea,by J . W . L i nd t ,

Lo ndo n , 1 887. I l l u s trated by a se rie s of admirab l e pho tographs .

1 5 4 MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

The bridegroom,on the day of his marriage

,goes to

the bride ’s house preceded by a crowd of women,

each carrying in her hand a smal l present . A room

is set apart for the ceremony ; the young couple are

placed back to back,the guests meanwhi le taking up

their posi t ion around them— men on one side and

women on the other . The oldest relat ion is Chosen

to perform the simple but curious ceremony . Joining

the right hands of the bride and bridegroom,he

spurts a mouthful.

of water over them,with these

words May no enemy ki l l you,and no evi l spiri t

affect you with si ckness Sago is brought,of which

both partake,and afterwards the guests .

After marri age certain remarkable customs are O b

served . The husband and wife must si t up al l n ight ;Should they appear for a moment to fal l asleep

,their

friends,who si t up with them

,immediately arouse

them . These attent ions,however

,are well-meant , for

the people have a firm bel ief that only in this way

can a long and happy l i fe be ensured ! I t is some

t imes easy to suggest explanations of savage customs ,but always unsafe . Maybe they hope thus to drive

away evi l spiri ts,but wh o can say This si tt ing

up continues for four nights . S leep I s permitted by

day to the bride,whi le her husband stays away .

On the fifth day they are allowed to meet alone ,and then only by night .

There is l i tt le o r no ceremony when widows are

married . The chief thing appears to be to make sure

o f driving away the ghost of the “ l ate lamented ”

NEW BRITAIN 1 5 5

husband . With this important obj ect i n view ,the

bride and bridegroom walk into the j ungl e or forest ,attended by some Widow ,

or married woman , whobreaks twigs off the trees to pel t the bride . A

smal l present i s given to the woman who renders

this valuable servi ce,and the widow

,now once

more a wife,changes her o ld garment for a newone .

Among Papuans,the men

,being warriors , look

down upon their women—folk,whom they regard as

l abourers— at least to a certain extent . The wives ,however

,are not

,as a rule

,badly treated

,and are by

no means mere slaves . They contrive to have a

voi ce i n the management of affairs , both domest i c

and publ i c . As i n Europe in the time o f Jul ius

Caesar , so here,i t is often the women who inc ite

the men to war,or perhaps to deeds of murder and

plunder . They have been known to arouse the fighting

insti nct in men by rushing wi ldly into their midst

and addressing them in terms such as these “What ,you are afraid to do this ; and yet you cal l your

selves men and warriors ! Out upon you you have

not the hearts of men ; you are more l ike a pack

of o ld women ! You ought to put on the grass

petticoat,stay at home and do the cooking Taunts

such as these , i t i s almost needless to say , usual ly

have the desired effect . On the whole these peop le

appear to travel lers to be a bright and merry race,for

Nature suppl ies nearly al l their wants .

The people of N ewBritai n,east of New Guinea

,have


somewhat d ifferent customs . A young man contem

plating matrimony confides the secret to his parents , or

i f he is an orphan,to the chief of the tribe he belongs

to , informing them at the same t imewh o i s the maidenthat has WO II his heart . The would—be husband is then

sent off into the bush,i n order

,we may suppose

,to be out

of the way whi le his father , or the chief, as the case maybe , goes to the girl

’s relat ions to arrange about the dowry,

o r purchase money,over which there is much haggl ing

On the wedding- day a feast i s held at the bridegroom ’s

house,with the usual accompaniments of music and

dancing . The bride does a good deal of dancing

hersel f. Meanwhile the unfortunate husband is st i l l in

the bush . The parents at l ast send some one to bring

him in . The person deputed for th is purpose may have

greatly d ifli culty i n finding him,for young men

,011

these interest ing occasions,frequent ly wander away for

many a mile— with the idea of escaping from the power

of departed spiri ts,who are supposed at such times to

exercise an evi l influence ! These excursions i nto the

forest primeval are not unattended with danger fo r

there is the risk of the bridegroom being kil led by some

host i le tribe o n the war—path .

As i n some other places marriages are even arranged

fo r women before their birth . Thus , should a chief

desire to be all ied by marriage to some part i cular family,

he buys a child beforehand . Should i t prove a boy, the

money i s returned ; i f a girl , she becomes absolutely

h is property,although l iving with her parents unti l o ld

enough to become the chief’s wife . When married,

CHAPTER XI

M elanesia and Polynesia .

N the Solomon Isles (Melanesi a) , a girl is not sought

in marriage unti l her charms have been enhanced

by the tattooer ’s art. The painful and tedious operation

is performed by a medicine man,whose services are

handsomely rewarded . I t i s considered necessary to

employ music ians as wel l so he first engages a company

of professional singers . The concert begins at sunset ,and is kept up vigorously throughout the night . The

poor ch ild i s kept awake by her friends in order to hear

i t al l . At sunrise the man begins the operat ion,using

on ly a sharp bamboo kn ife (bamboo is very hard , and

frequently used fo r knives) . Thus he makes curious

and art isti c network patterns o n her face and chest . I t

i s a painful process,but she suffers wi thout a murmur

,

fo r al l primi t ive races train up their young people to

bear pain si lently .

Next day al l i s forgotten in the j oyful thought that she

i s now an el igi ble young woman From this t ime her

parents keep a watchful eye over their daughter,and

check any lev i ty O II her part .

Proposals follow before l ong,and her fri ends who

1 58

MELANES IA 1 59

have subscri bed towards the expense of tattooing look

forward to repayment when she i s married . The higher

her rank,the more her parents demand of the sui tor

consequently,needy young men often have to wait a

long time for a wife . But if a swain is known to

have “ expectat ions,

” he may pay down a part of the

purchase-money,and claim a girl as h is fianeée , i n

which case she wil l no t be given in marri age to another .

The daughters of ch iefs seldom marry early on account

of the unreasonable demands of their fathers . A young

man who dares to propose to the daughter of a ch ief

and cannot pay the amount is l i able to be heavi ly fined

for his presumption

Occasionally i t happens that a ch ief’s daughter

remains in single blessedness unti l the death of her

father In which case she may be bought “ fo r an o ld

song,as the saying is

,by some middle- aged widower

,

or an impecunious person who has been wait ing manyyears for a partner .When a young girl is betrothed

,and her future

husband has paid the amount in full,she goes and l i ves

wi th his mother unt i l the time arrives when she may

become his wife . Soon after the purchase has been

made her parents give a feast to thosewho subscribedtowards the tattooing this i s fol lowed by another feast

given by the bridegroom ’s parents,and there are no

other ceremonies,either at betrothals o r marriages .

Somewhat different customs prevai l i n one of the

So lomon Isles known as Flor ida . Here the usual

tattooing tak es place , but there may be a delay of several

I 6o MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

months,or even years , before the young man

’s father

pays down the ful l amount of the purchase—money . I n

order to transact this business,he pays a visi t to the

girl ’s home,and even when the payment has been made

,

and the visi t has been prolonged for two days,the

parents make a great fuss about giving up their

daughter,i nterposing many imaginary di fficulties .

When at last the time of parting comes they demand

further payment . T his i s cal led the money to break

the post near the door (used to take hold of in going

in and out of the house) , to finish her going in and out

of the o ld home . ” This payment is made to the bride ’s

female relat ions,who take her by the hand and give her

up . The act ofgiving away the bride is rather curious

she i s l i fted off the ground and carri ed out of the house

o n the back of o ne of the women,who del ivers her to

the bridegroom ’s father. For two or three months after

this the bride stays in her father—in—l aw ’s house,unti l the

necessary presents of pigs and food arrive . Not ti l l

then can the wedding be celebrated . And here wemeet with a curious custom

,rather suggest ive of the

“ ransom paid in the Tyrol and elsewhere . During

the morning of the feast,the boys of the v i llage harass

the bride ’s relat ions by playful ly shooting arrows at

them . So skilful is the youths ’ practi ce that they can

safely ' send arrows whizzing past the ears of a guest,

over his head,between his l egs

, or even through his hair !

These del i cate attent ions,however

,become a posit ive

nuisance and after many forc ible expressions of disgust,

the men gladly purchase immunity by paying ransom .

MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

exhortations and congratulations of their friends . The

wife o ffers he r partner tobacco , while he gives her betel

nut . They must si t up al l n ight whi le the relations

partake of a solemn meal .

I II the Northern New Hebrides i t i s on ly Chiefs o r

other great people who betroth their ch i ldren in youth .

As in Malanta the betrothed chi ld l ives in the same

house wi th her future husband,wh o very often is

taught to regard the l i ttle playmate as his sister.

Somet imes the boy,on growing up to manhood ’s estate

,

i s quite shy O II learn ing the relat ion in which they

stand . G irls assume the petticoat when they arrive at

a marr iageable age . On the wedding-day guests arrive

i n large numbers to enj oy the good things provided fo r

them . The bridegroom fixes a branch o f a tree, o r

shrub,in the ground , and brings forward his gifts of

pigs,food

,and mats . The bride ’s father

, o r some

special fr iend of the fami ly,makes a speech— which

i s unusual for these parts— and exhorts the bridegroom

to feed his wife properly and to treat her kindly .

With such and simi lar admonitions he hands over, or

H“ gives away,the blushing bride , gaily att ired and

weari ng her new pett icoat . At the feast which fol lows

the bridegroom is saved the trying ordeal of a speech

he merely strokes his father- in- law to show his grati tude

and affection .

This i s fol lowed by a scene such as might be

witnessed at an Arab wedding . A sham fight takes

place,i n which i t sometimes happens that men are

FIJI ISLANDS 1 63

wounded . On the one side are ranged the bride’

s

kinsmen,on the other those of the br id egroom .

Should a brother of the latter be inj ured , compensa

in the form of a present,i s required . When the

bride ’s fami ly consider they have made enough show

of resistance to prove howhighly they value theirdaughter ’s services

,they allow her to be taken away .

Accordingly she is dragged off by female friends to the

bridegroom ’s house— sometimes with much reluctance ,even to tears . I t sometimes happens that a bride who

is unhappy seeks the earl iest opportunity of running

away from her husband,and seeking a home with some

man She l ikes better . In such cases,i f her parents per

ce ive that nothing wi l l induce her to return to the

inj ured husband , they offer him a pig , as solatium, to

soothe hi s wounded feel ings ; and there the matter

ends .

In the Gi lbert I slands a man can demand his wife’s

s isters in marriage ; he is also expected to take his

brother ’s widows . Widows in New Ireland and New

Britain are considered to -belong to no one in parti cular .

But if a widower wishes-

to marry again,the idea i s at

first opposed by al l the ladies of his l ate wife ’s family

at first sportively,by using every possible form of

annoyance to make the man keep at a distance,and then

in real earnest (if he carries out his intent ion) , by

destroying his house and all his goods !

t ion,

’

In the Fij i Isl ands , when a young man wishes to

marry a certain girl , he must obtai n her father’s per


mission . This having been granted,he makes her a

smal l present . Short ly after he sends to her house

some food prepared by himsel f ; this i s the ceremony

known as Warming .

”

For four days the g irl enj oys

a brief holiday,s it t ing at home arrayed in her best

,and

painted with turmeri c and o il she i s then taken to the

sea by some married women , and all se t to work to

catch fish . As soon as the cooking of what they have

caught is finished the young man is sent for,and the

betrothed ones take a meal together . Some l itt le interval

fol lows,during whi ch her future husband is busi ly

occupied in bui lding the new home,while the girl i s

being tattooed— a painful operation . On the comple

t ion of the house a great feast takes place,after which

the bride and bridegroom sett le down to married l ife .

011 her departure from home her friends and relat ives

make a great fuss,al l showing their affection by kissing

her .

The fol lowing account of the presentat ion of a bride

in former days is interesting .

She was brought in at the principal entrance by the

king ’s aunt and a few matrons,and then

,l ed on ly by

the aunt,approached the king . Shewas an interesting

girl of fifteen,gl istening with oi l

,and wearing a new

lihu (waistband) , and a necklace of curved ivory points ,radiat ing from her neck and turn ing upwards . The

king received from his aunt the girl , with two whale’s

teeth which she carried in her hand . When she wasseated at his feet his Maj esty repeated a l ist of their

gods , and finished by praying that the gir l might l ive

MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

grown up (which is not unl ikely , for he may fal l i n

battle ) , then his next brother takes his place , and the

chi ld is betrothed to him .

Among chiefs and their famil ies,o r

,as we should say ,

i n high l ife,

” marriages are often the resul t of mutual

attachment , being preceded by courtships and the

exchange of presents . Young people may even be

seen walking out arm—in—arm,as in England . But

freedom of choice is no t always al lowed , even to a

chief ’s daughter . A forced al l i ance sometimes leads to

suicide . Some American travel lers,a good many years

ago , were told the story of the daughter of the chief of

O vo lan,who j umped over a precipi ce because She had

been married against her wil l . But among the lower

Cl asses of nati ves we find no such scruples . The usual

pri ce of a bride is a whale ’s tooth o r a musket,and

when this has once been paid she becomes the absolute

property of her husband,and her l ife is in his hands .

Unti l purchased,young women nominal ly belong to

the chief,who may dispose of them as he thinks best .

El opements are not unknown . As in some other

countries,when two young people have made up their

minds to marry , and from difference of rank or other

cause are forbidden to d o so,they seek refuge in fl ight .

Some neighbouring chief of a kindly disposit ion takes

pity OI I them,and uses his best endeavours to eflfe ct a

reconci l iation wi th the parents .

In the Samoa, o r Navigator Isl ands , now famous as the

abode of the late Mr . Robert Louis Stevenson , marriage

SAMOA 1 67

transact ions may be said to be merely speculations i n

fine mats,of which a bride ’s dowry consists . These

are handed over to the husband ’s pr incipal friend and

supporter (“ best who arranges the match and

provides the feast . Widows fol low the law of the

Levirate,and marry the husband ’s next brother . Each

bride brings wi th her one or two handmaids , who may

become secondary wives .

A young man must be tattooed before he can marry .

Having made h is choi ce from among the girls of the

isl and,he sends his best man to negotiate and make

al l the arrangements . The young woman usual ly has

no choice,but is obl iged to submi t to the decision of

her parents . They , on their part , must obtain the

chief’s consent . For a long t ime before the wedding

takes place al l the bride ’s relat ions help in gett ing in

her dowry of fine mats and native cloths . The family

of the bridegroom are l ikewise act ively engaged in

col lecting property for him,such as cloth

,pigs

,canoes

,

Sec . When the contract ing part ies are of high rank,

the ceremony tak es p lace in an open place of publ i c

assembly,surrounded by bread- frui t trees . Here the

guests seat themselves in a circle cross- legged,gl isten

ing with oi l and bedecked with plenty of beads and

flowers . At first the bride remains seated in a house

somewhere near , from which extends a carpet of native

cloth reaching to the place of assembly . There the

expectant bridegroom is seated at the further end of the

long carpet . And now,al l being ready

,the bride

comes forth . Needless to say, she is gai ly bedecked

I 68 MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

W i th beads,flowers

,and shel l s

,and also girt round the

waist with fine mats,some of which form a flowing

train behind . Her maidens follow,al l bearing mats .

These they spread out before the bridegroom,and

return to the house for more . This is repeated a good

many t imes,unt i l

,in some cases

,the number reaches

two o r three hundred . All these consti tute the dowry

col lected by her rel ations . The bride takes her seat by

the side of the bridegroom,and present ly stands up to

receive the applause of her assembled guests . I t i s now

time for the husband to show h is wealth , which he does

with considerable display . The disposal of al l these

worldly goods is arranged by the parents (or brothers)o n both sides .

I t was stated above that Samoan girl s usually arecompel led to submit to the arrangements made by their

parents,but elopements are not altogether unknown .

If the young man whose offe rwas refused by the parentsshould be a chief

,his companions (in orderto show their

resentment as wel l as his) gather together in the evening ,and walk through the settlement singing his praises and

coupl ing his name with that of the young woman whoran away with him . Should the course of their l ove

run smooth,the chances are that a reconci l i ation wi l l take

place wi th the parents sooner or l ater,and then the event

is cel ebrated by feast ing and exchange of presents .

The peoplewho i nhabi t the Hervey o r Cook Islands

(between Samoa and the Society Islands) have a remark

able custom . Here they are no t content wi th mats where

HERVEY ISLANDS 1 69

w i th to make a pathway for the bride to walk along .

But should she be the eldest girl , the members of her

husband ’s tribe l ie down flat on the ground , while she

walks l ightly over on their backs . This “ street of

human bodies,

” cal led in the native tongue ara tangata ,

exténd s from the bride ’s house to that of the bride

groom ; and should the distance be so great that

enough people cannot be found to make the pathway ,then those on whom the bride has already stepped get

up and quickly run on ahead,so as to l i e down again

and fi l l up the rest of the path . A curious custom

certain ly,but one may perhaps safely argue thereupon

that women (and especially brides) are held in greaterhonour than in many other parts of the world

,such as

China . This ceremony tak es place a few days after the

wedding . The husband,on the day of his marriage

,

goes through a similar ceremony,walking 011 the backs

of the people of the tribe to which his wife belongs .On that occasion the bridegroom ’s friends walk on each

side of the human pathway,clapping their hands

,and

singing songs in h is praise,not omitt ing to mention h is

ancestors .

Marriage customs in these islands may also be

i l lustrated by the fol lowing story,which a travel ler

heard from the natives . There was war betweencertain tribes

,and Uriitepitok ura, one of the defeated

tribesmen,remained in h iding . This enterprising

young man occupied his t ime in making fish nets

and valuable dresses,the latter being composed chiefly

of the feathers of birds which he contrived to

I7o MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

catch . There was a pathway running down to the sea,and looking through a l i tt le hole in the rock he could

se e the people going down to the shore . In th is wayhe o ne day saw a young woman of some rank who had

escaped the watchful eye of her grandmother . Akama

rama was her name,and to her he made himself known ,

entreating the damsel to afford h im her protect ion and

to become in time his wife . Of course he did no t for

get to ment ion those treasures which he had so ski lful ly

made with h is own hands . He was handsome and

young , but that alone would not have enabled h im to

win the fair one ’s hand and heart . The nets and

dresses were the chief cause ofhis conquest . She hence

forth rej ected al l offers of marri age,and refused to

undergo the fattening process which is customary in

those islands . Her parents,suspecting some previous

attachment,inquired of her i f there were any man

whom she would be incl ined to marry,whereupon She

revealed her secret . Next day they arranged matters

with the young man, who bestowed his feather gar

ments and nets on the father and uncle of the bride ,and some more nets on the chief, so as to ensure his

protection . On the wedding—day Ak amfirama wore a

Splendid head—dress of feathers made by the bride

groom,and sat by her husband o n a whi te cloth to

receive the presents of their relat ions . They then par

took of food together,and entered forthwith into the

married state .

In Tahi ti and others of the smal l Polynesian Islands


may take part i n such an important affair of the

fami ly . This reminds us of the Chinese custom Of

i nforming the ancestors and worshipping their tablets .

The bride ’s relat ives then take a piece of sugar—cane,

wrap i t up in the branch of a certain sacred tree,

and place i t on the head of the bridegroom,and then

lay i t down between the now wedded pair who arest i l l holding each other by the hand . The relatives

o n both S ides consider that the two famil ies are nowfor ever united . Finally

,another cloth is produced

and thrown over bride and bridegroom by the relatives .

This cloth, as well as the wedding garments , i s con

sid ered sacred . The day ends in much feasting . A

good deal of dancing takes place O II the day before

the wedding .

Mr . Wi ll iam E l l i s,a missionary

,who wrote on

Po lynesia,I describes the arrangements made for a

marriage in the island of Huahine,one of the Society

Isles , where he was stat ioned at the time , i n the year

1 82 2 . The bridegroom was Pomare,the young chief

ofTahaa,and the bridewas Amiata , the only daughter

of the late king of Tahit i,not far off. They me t at

Huahine,which was midway between the islands to

which the respective famil ies belonged . More than

a week before his intended bride arrived from Tahiti,

Pomare sai led from Tahaa and landed in Huahine,

where he was entertained with due regard to hi s

rank by the chiefs of the island . I t was no t,however ,

1 Po lyn e s ian Re se arc he s, 4 V O lS

q183 1

SOCIETY ISLES 173

supposed at the time that h is consort would become

queen of Tahit i,because her brotherwas then l iv ing ,

and Amiata arr ived on a brig belonging to the king ,and was introduced to h er future husband , who worean Engl ish beaver hat

,but otherwise was dressed

in ful l nat ive costume . He took his seat and awaited

with gravity the appearance of Amiata . Presently sh e

and her friends arrived and took their seats near the

young chief. But Pomare continued mot ion less,

neither rising to welcome his guests nor taking off

his hat . The princess,who sat by the S ide of her

mother,occasionally glanced at her future husband ,

who sat l ike a statue before her .

The interview was a singular one , considering that

the two had never met before . N o t a singl e word

was exchanged between them . After about twenty

minutes the queen and her daughter and companions

rose and went off to the house prepared for them,

whi le Pomare and his friends returned to their en

campment . Shortly after this meet ing they were

publ i cly married wi th C hrist ian ri tes and afterwards

removed to Tahi t i . The bride was s ixteen years

of age,and her husband not much older .

Occasional ly real courtsh ip takes place,and there are

i nstances of bri des being only won after a great deal

of wooing . There was a case of this i n the same island,

according to Mr . El l i s . I t was a young chief,tal l

and powerful ly bui l t , with pleasant manners , who fel l

i n love with the n i ece of another ch ief,and tendered

proposals of marriage . Her family had no obj ect ion,


but the young lady refused to accept his oft—repeated

offers,although no means to gain her consent were

left untried . The unhappy young man gave up h is

ordinary occupations and took up his abode in the

house where the obj ect of his affect ions l ived,i n order

to devote himsel f to her constant service,which he

did with great zeal , although subj ect to the deepest

melancholy . Kind friends interested themselves on

his behalf,and his sad fate became fo r a t ime the topic

ofgeneral conversation . But in time the fair one re

lented,the two were married and l ived together very

happi ly .

After th is a case of the opposi te kind occurred . A

party of five o r six men arrived at the island of Huahine

in a canoe from Tahit i , and remained there some time ,the guests of a certain ch ief. A good—looking girl

,one

of the belles of the island , wh o belonged to the house

where the men were being entertained,fell d eeply in love

with one of them . I t was soon intimated to h im that

she would have no obj ect ion to becoming his wi fe ;but

,alas ! there was no love on his S ide

,although the

unhappy girl endeavoured in every poss ible way toobtain his affect ion . She followed him about every

where . Things went on l i ke this for some time , unti l

the enamoured one , becoming very unhappy , dec lared

that,i f he continued indifferent to her

,she would

ei ther strangle or drown herself. In the end,however

,

the young man relented , and married her . In this

case the marriage proved an unhappy one,for the wife

before long took a violent disl ike to her husband .


He may now visi t the girl at her home . Friends

cal l to offer their good wishes , and are received by

the bride- elec t standing with much affected humili ty

and downcast eyes . Hence the Greek saying,

“ As

affected as a bride .

’

As i n Turkey,so here

,the

girl kisses the hands of the friends of her future

lord . They present her with sweet basi l and gold

coins .

Marriages take place at al l seasons,except in the

month of May ; as a rule l ate in the autumn

after the ol ives have been gathered in . The day

is usual ly a Sunday,and by preference the next one

after the ful l moon . There is consid erable variety

in the customs observed in rural distri cts,and even

in the larger towns . Weddings are attended with

a good deal of ceremonial . The marriage takes place

some time after the betrothal,and the interval may

be a long or short one .

We wil l first take Southern Macedonia,where the

customs are especial ly interest ing . For i nstan ce at

V o d hena, the ancient Macedonian capital Edessa ,the fest ivi t ies l ast a week . On the Sunday a copy

of the marr iage contract i t sent to the bridegroom ,

who i n return sends his fiance'

e a few trifl ingpresents

,such as sweetmeats

,henna

,rouge , &c .

,and a

j ar of wine for her parents .

During the next four days,i .e . from Monday to

Thursday,the ceremonies observed are al l connected

with the wedding cake and unl ike anything to be

met with in those countries of which,so far , we

GREECE 177

have spoken . On the Monday and Tuesday the

grain for the cake is sifted and carried to

the mil l by the bride and her gir l compan ions .

On Wednesday they bring i t home,and the friends

come to the house to help to knead the dough .

The kneading is done in a trough at one end of

which si ts a boy girt with a sword,while at the

other end a l itt le girl pretends to help,but i n

real i ty i s endeavouring to avoid being seen whi le

She hides in the dough some coins and the weddingring . No chi ldren who have lost any relat ives may

perform the ceremony,otherwise i t would be a bad

omen . I t is easy to see the dri ft of this symbol ism .

The boy with the sword stands for the husband ,whose duty is to guard and defend ; the l i tt le girl

i s a reminder of a wife ’s domesti c cares . The cake

is made,and o n the Thursday portions of the

dough are given to the company . Of course each

one hopes to find the wedding ring,j ust as Engl ish

chi ldren sti ll expect to find one i n a birthday cake .

The lucky one who gets the ring surrenders i t tothe bridegroom in exchange for a present . In the

afternoon of the same day the wedding cake is placed

over a bowl of water,and the youths and maidens

dance three times round i t s inging the song of the

wedding cake . ” After this they break up the cake

and throw the pieces over the happy pair,together

with figs and fruit— emblems of plenty and fruitful

ness .

On the next day (Friday) the presents given by1 3

178 MARRIAGE CUSTOM S

the men are carri ed in procession through the

stre e ts,as i n China. They are mostly arti cles such

as a young couple starting in li fe would requi re .

On the Saturd ay evening (the d ay before the wedding )a fe ast i s he ld

,and on this d ay the brid e i s pre

p are d fo r the morrowby he r maid ens (as in Turke yand e lsewhe re ) , who sing to he r whi le attend ing toh e r toi le t .

At all Gre ek wed d i ngs an important part i s played

by the l 'o/nnhtiros,

as he i s cal led,an influential

friend o r re lative,who

,among the poore r people ,

provid e s the e ntertainment,

and i s sad d led with a

numbe r o f other rCSpo ns ibilitie s should the wi fe and

chi ld ren be le ft d e sti tute . The same name is appl ied

to god fathe rs by the ir god chi ld ren , and reciprocal ly

to the god chi ld ren by god fathers , and i s intend ed to

apply to all the membe rs o f famil ie s be twe en which

such a tie e x i sts . Thus an important relat ionship i s

create d,and o ne which is most solemnly regard ed ,

so

that a man o f infl ue nce may be a kind o f prote ctor

and counse l lor to al l the young people o f the country

sid e . The head brid e smaid to o plays he r part as a

kind o fgodmothe r, and i s cal led h’O/tlll hz ll fi l .

N owSund ay has come , and the actual wed d ing

ce remonie s begin . I‘l l'St o f all the ln' id cgro om and his

frie nd s le ave the house ; as he d eparts his mothe r

pours wate r o ut o f a j ar be fore him ,and l ays d own a

gi rd le i n his path , ove r which he ste ps .‘ A proce ssion

starts from the house o f the konnzhtiros , and fromthe re go to the brid e

’s house , his friend s singing as

18o MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

times over the heads of the bride and bridegroom and

places them on their hands,saying

,G ive thy troth

,

servant of God (adding the man’s name ) to the servant

of God (adding the woman’s name) in the name of the

Father,the Son

,and the Holy Ghost . ” They are

then formally betrothed the actual marriage ceremony

is as fol lows — Both bride and brid egroom are crowned

with wreaths of flowers (orange blossom ) by the priest ,who places them on their heads with these words

,

“ Crown thysel f,servant of God (name) i n the name

of the Father,the Son , and the Holy Ghost . Three

t imes the sentence is repeated whi le the best man

changes the crowns three t imes . After bridegroom

and best man have drunk the consecrated wine,the

pair are led three times round the al tar,the best man

fol lowing . The priest removes the crowns and gives

h is blessing . The pair are now duly married . Kissing

and congratulat ions fol low,the best man having the

bride ’s first kiss . On arri val at the bride ’s house her

mother welcomes them both,placing a loaf of bread

on their heads,whi le the rest of the company throw

sweets at them . Then the feast ing begins,and healths

are drunk,the glasses being thrown over the left

shoulder and i t i s unlucky i f they remain unbroken .

The br ide on qui tting her home takes away with her

half a loaf,the other half being kept by the parents .

Then the party adj ourn to the Vi l lage green,where there

i s much dancing and music . They have,of course

,no

honeymoon,and the pair presently leave for the hus

band ’s home . Next day that important person , the

GREECE 181

best man,appears again

,bri nging with h im the half

cake and the spoon,del ivered into his care on the

previous day . The bride eats the cake and then takes

the first mouthful of"

fo od with the spoon . After

breakfast she and her friends pay a visi t to the well ,in order to observe a custom that prevai led with the

ancient Greeks,the obj ect of which is to propit i ate the

Water—dei ty,the Naiad of the Spring . A coin i s

dropped into the wel l from the l ips of the br ide,who

then draws water and fills her pi tcher . O n arr iv ing

at the home she pours some of this water over her

husband ’s hands,and he gives a small present in return .

The rest of the day is spent i n feast ing and d anc Ing.

After a few days the newly—marr ied pair return to the

house of the br ide ’s father,where they remain for a

whole day and night ; and the visi t i s repeated a few

days later . Judging from a somewhat simi lar custom

in parts of India,we should say the obj ect of the visi ts

i s to show that there is no i l l—feel ing,as there might

have been in earl ier days when br ides were captured .

And speaking of capture,i t may be mentioned here that

among shepherds in the mountainous parts of Greece,

there st i l l remains a surv ival of that ancient way of

marri age . A large armed party come to fetch the bride

her fr iends pretend resistance,and a mock combat takes

place,as with Arabs

,Druses

,Turcomans

,and others .

The bride,who knows her own mind

,allows hersel f to

be carried off by the fri ends of the br idegroom,

whence the Greek proverb,

“ Drive o n,and never

mind my tears. ”


Greek parents are very anxious to see their daughters

married . The girls al l work at the loom and spinning

wheel,and help to make a trousseau for thei r eldest

si ster,wh o is a favoured person , and inheri ts the

family dwell ing . She does not,however

,take all their

work,but from each piece of fin ished stu ff reserves

some lengths fo r the younger ones . On the father ’s

death the brothers,o r eldest male relat ives

,are expected

to support the daughters and provide the dowry when

o ne of them marri es . N o r may the brothers marry

unti l their s isters are provided for . This custom is said

to have begun after the conquest of Mytilene by the

Turks , when nearl y al l the men were slain , and bus

bands consequently very scarce .

Some of the curious local customs of this country

may now claim our attent ion . The peasants,i nstead of

throwing sweetmeats at the newly—married pair,smear

the lintel of a bride ’s door with honey . In Northern

Greece,and in Epirus

,an engaged couple must not be

seen together unti l after the betrothal . On this occa

s ion thefiance’

e i s i ntroduced to her future husband at

the priest ’s house,vei led

,and attended by her parents .

The priest,after giving his blessing

,bid s them not to

meet again o r converse unti l the wedding—day . On

that day the bride takes l eave of her parents and starts

o n foot , or on horseback , or on a mule , for the house of

the bridegroom . After two or three days they are

both led to the vi l l age fountain,where the bride throws

sweatmeats (not a coin) i nto the water, and fi l l s a new

j ar . I n the distri ct of Mount Pel ion , the loaves for


of China a somewhat simi lar custom prevails . Here

in Cyprus,i f the bridegroom hai ls from a distant

vi l l age,he arrives on horseback . The young men meet

h im and endeavour to dismount .him ,while his friends

come to the rescue to prevent this,and i t is considered

a triumph i f he manages to ride al l the way to hisbride ’s house . Should the young men succeed in their

obj ect,the fri ends of the bridegroom must make a

chair for him with their hands . Then fol lows a sacri

fice,reminding us of Arab customs a fowl is held up

,

which the bridegroom kil ls by cutting off i ts head with

an axe before enteri ng the house .

The Albanians o f the Orthodox creed have a curious

custom connected with the kneading o f the dough .

One of the girl s of the vi l l age is al lowed to put O II

clothes belonging to the bridegroom,as wel l as his

weapons,and thus attired chases h im about

,wi th the

obj ect of smearing his face with some of the dough

from the trough . His friends throw in money,which

the gir l keeps,i nstead of the bridegroom

,or h is best

man,as i n Macedonia (see p . Another o f their

customs is for the bride ’s mo ther,to sprinkle the bride

groom with water,when he arrives at her house ; and

she also places a handkerchief on his l eft shoulder. The

bridegroom ’s man (the v lam) puts both her shoes and

girdle o n the bride ; and is also obliged to steal two

spoons,o r other arti cles (compare Tyrol ) . On the day

after the wedding the newly—married couple sprinkle

each other with water. (Fo r a cognate Russian custom ,

se e p . Brahmins also use water i n a simi larway.

CHAPTER ! I I I

The D anuhian Prznetjoalz'

tzes .

AS might be expected , the peasants of Bulgaria retain

many very o ld marriage customs , although the

upper classes are gradual ly assimi lat ing those of the

modern Greeks . Marriages are arranged ei ther by the

young man ’s parents or by professional match-makers ,who fix the sum to be paid by h im

,which must be at

least g50,together wi th a

'

smaller sum (head money)paid to the girl ’s mother . Our present description

appl ies to marri ages among the peasants only .

Betrothals are,as a rule

,celebrated on a Wednesday

or a Thursday even ing with much feasting and rej oicing .

On these occasions documents are produced stat ing that

the bridegroom elect promises to pay the amount pre

viously arranged by his parents or the match-maker ,while h is future father- in—law declares h is wi ll ingness to

furnish his daughter with a trousseau .

The contracting part ies exchange rings and a pries t

gives them his blessing . At the feast the elder guests

arrange themselves around a cloth spread out on the

floor and there i s a great variety of dishes all

flavoured with garl i c . The young people ’s banquet185


is served in a separate room,and they afterwards dance

outs ide the house,singing songs every now and then .

The wine flows freely . At this feast the young man

produces h is presents to the bride,such as sl ippers

,

bracelets,earr ings

,a head- dress of gold and si lver coins

and a si lver girdle . At first her father expresses dis

sat isfaction,and so the would-be husband goes on

adding one coin at a t ime to the head -dress unti l the

former i s sati sfied . These presents are collected in a

wooden dish , such as the people use for making bread ,and then the feast ing continues as before . Some of the

guests are pretty sure to drink to excess before dayl ight

appears . Next day the betrothed young woman dons

her pretty j ewelry and coins,and then her engagement

is recognised .

I t would be incorrect to say that love-matches are

unknown among the peasants of Bulgaria , but they

occur very rare ly . I t must be confessed that the

husband chooses and buys his wi fe much in the same

way as he would purchase a yoke o f oxen or buffaloes .

His obj ect is to find a strong , healthy partner for l i fe ,who wil l be wi ll ing to work , and , he hopes , becomethe mother of strong lads to help him in the hard

labour o f working his farm . Beauty , therefore , does

not count for much ; strength commands a higher

price in the markets .I f a young man fai ls to fulfil his promise of mar

riage he is fined somewhat heavi ly by the aggrieved

parents . The interval between betrothal and marriage

i s not less than six months,and may be as much as two


According to Mrs . Blunt, I marriages take place in a

store-house, o r granary

,fo r the sake of safety . She

says the custom of marrying in some retired part of

the house i s due to a dread of Turks , who might fal l011 the bridal party and rob them . This lady , writ ing

in 1 878, tel l s a tale of events of some months ago ,which took place in a certain vi l lage in Macedonia .

The dreaded Turks sud denly appeared on the scene ,and after robbing and beating al l the company , stripped

the poor bride of al l her belongings,and behaved wit h

fiendish brutal i ty We need not ment ion detai ls .

When the ceremony has been performed at church

the whole party go in procession to the bride ’s house ,where the feast i s held . Corn is sprinkled over the

newly—wedded couple,and the young girls dance . The

bride is vei led and kisses the hands of the married

women present,each ofwhom gives her a fig . These

wedding feasts,l ike those given at betrothals are very

fest ive occas ions,frequently marred by excessive

drinking .

The fol lowing custom reminds us of what happens

in some parts ofAfri ca,for the unfortunate bride and

bridegroom are shut up in their house for a week ,during whi ch time no visitors are al l owed . At the

conclusion of this term of imprisonment,married

women come and conduct the br ide to the vil lage

fountain, o r spring , as in Greece , round which she

walks three times . Then she kisses their hands and

they give her figs . After which , let us hope , the1 “ T h e Peop le ofTurkey.”

BULGARIA 189

water—nymphs wi ll be good to her ! Noth ing more

is then required of the young wife but to v isi t her

mother .

The Bulgarians of Macedonia have certain pecul iar

customs in connection with the home- coming of a

bride . When the husband ’s house is si tuated at some

distance from that of his father—in-law,the party that

conducts the bride is l ed by one of the guests carrying

a standard on which is placed an apple— symbol of

love and maternity . All are mounted on horseback

and gai ly decked out with garlands of flowers . Thus

she i s led with much S inging and laughter to her new

home,and we seem to see here a faint reflection of

some o ld Greek procession in honour of Bacchus . On

arr iving at the vi llage they are met by the best man

and others with cakes,baskets of frui t

,and flasks of

wine . The nuncio (best man) l eads a goat wi th gi lded

horns and carries the bridal crowns . Arrived at the

house,the bride al ights in the courtyard

,where the

standard has been placed . The father helps hi s

daughter to dismount ; sh e kisses her horse on the

forehead,and is led by her parent , each holding one

end of a handkerchief,to the granary down below .

Here is displayed the wedding cake,which rests on a

barrel of wine . The priest , arrayed in gorgeous robes ,marries the couple at this Bacchanal ian altar ; they

drink consecrated wine from a glass,and walk three

times round the wine-barrel,while the company amuse

themselves by throwing showers of sweets and frui t at

them . There is the usual Greek ceremony of pro


pitiating the water—nymphs at the well , in company

with married women and girls . This is done by

throwing in coins . I t i s interesting to find here the

custom of throwing over the bride water from the wel l

which she has herself drawn from it . In Russia the

peasants throw water over both bride and bridegroom .

Final ly the br ide kisses the hands of her women

friends , and receives from each a fig,which is

,of

course,a symbol i cal act .

I II Roumania,as i n Bosni a and elsewhere

,girl s of a

marr iageable age wear coins and pearls on their head s as

a S ign to al l that they have no obj ection to a husband .

They begin at an early age to make garments for the

trousseau . An Engl i shman once saw a l i ttle girl,six

years old,kni tting stockings for that purpose . The

mothers are very anxious to let the young men know

the ex tent of their daughter ’s trousseau , and allow them

the privi lege of inspecting the chest containing the

necessary garments . Consequently the village bachelors

become very mercenary,and if not sat isfied with what

they see,wil l look elsewhere for a wife . In a certain

v i l lage the mothers anx ious for a son—in- l aw seize the

opportunity of carn ival t ime to display the trousseau ,by hanging o ut the various articles on a wal l , or other

wise .

Fathers spend so much in providing for their

daughters that the sons must look out for themselves ,and seek wel l—endowed partners . The young lady

must select h er husband from a l ist of candidates— even


Bride and bridegroom frequently meet for the first

t ime at the altar . I t i s o n record that once a betrothed

young man fai led to appear at the church— perhaps

having changed his mind . The S i tuation was embarrassing , to say the least , for he could nowhere be

found , though di l igent search was made by messengers

sent out for the purpose . Then a happy thought

occurred to one of the party . The intended but mis

sing bridegroom had a brother ; would he not do quite

as wel l— o r better ? So messengers were sent off in

hot haste to ask i f he would be so obl iging as to marry

the young lady his brother had so basely deserted ?

This invitat ion was accepted,and the bride married

after al l,which was better than coming away from the

church unwedded The remedy was s imple but o ne

would think that the future relations between those two

brothers must have been somewhat strained . I t is to

be hoped that the defaulter at least kept out of the wayo f his brother ’s wi fe .

J i l ted suitors have a spiteful way of showing theirdisgust ; they go out at night and cut down al l the

hemp and flax i n the field from which the girl wasabout to spin the material for her clothes .

Marri ages,among the upper classes

,are cel ebrated

late in the day ; among poor peopl e somewhat earl y .

The ceremony does no t always take place at church .

Coins are thrown o n to a carpet , 011 which the bride

and bridegroom stand . Crowns are placed on their

heads by the officiat ing priest . Sweets,o r nuts (in

country distri cts) , are showered upon them thus

BOSNIA 193

recall ing the words of V irgil,N uees sparge , marite .

The day ends with dancing and feasting .

I n Bosnia the married Mohammedan women go

about closely vei led,l ike Turkish l adies

,whereas girls

are allowed more freedom i n this respect . Hence the

Turks have a proverb Go to Bosnia i f you wish to

see your betrothed .

” Although marriages are arranged

by parents,the young people are not d enied oppor

tunities of converse before the wedding , consequent ly

love-matches sometimes take place,and young men find

their way to the fair one ’s window to whisper words of

love ; but , by a curious restri ct ion , only on Mondays

and Fridays . Ac cco rd ing to a wel l-known story a

Bosnian young lady committed suicide because her

lover was slain i n batt le . Omer Pasha,i n narrating

the story,remarks ° “ I t al l comes of not wearing the

vei l,and letting affianced couples see each other . I f

she had always kept her yasma/e on her face , She might

have married another man for there would have been

no

'

great love in the matter.

Amongst the M orlac ci of Dalmatia,the suitor

approaches the family of his young lady through an

intermediary . On being accepted by the fair one,he

sends her certain presents,such as shoes , a mirror , a

ring,a comb

,a red sil k ribbon for tying the hair

,and

an apple,stuck al l over with gold and si lver coins .

His fami ly also sends her gifts , such as shoes ; for

unmarried girl s usual ly wear only sandals . T h e bride14


elect hersel f works stockings and garters for presents to

the men of her future husband ’s fami ly for the women ,aprons

, St e .

A good many o fficial persons take part in the

wedding ; for instance , there are the master of the

ceremonies (stari the bridegroom ’s man (com

the flag—bearer who carries a si lkflag with an apple fixed to i ts spear—head— a symbol

used by Bulgarians ; the two bridegroom ’s brothers

who attend on the bride,carry ing the

umbrel la over her the beadle (eh tiiis) , who clears the

way for the wedding procession . A woman aecom

panies the bride to the nave of the church . There the

bridegroom and his eompa’

re’

kneel before the altar

awaiting the bride . When the service is over the twobrothers of the bridegroom conduct the bride back to

her home,where the marriage feast is held . And here

we find an Armenian custom cropping up,for the

bride,o n approaching the door of her husband ’s house ,

takes in her arms a chi ld . She then kneels down and

kisses the threshold of the door . Her mother—in—‘

l aw

hands her a sieve containing dried fruits,which she

scatters among the guests,thus symboli sing the abun

dance she hopes wi l l come to her new home . The

husband,at dinner t ime

,leaves her in charge of his two

brothers,with whom she sits i n a separate room— why

we cannot say. During the meal he must not use a

knife— that would bring unhappiness,and so his best

man cuts up his food fo r him . Next day , al l go to

church again , and another feast is given by the husband

CHAPTER XIV

Russia

THAT Russians do not esteem women highly is

clearly Shown by their proverbs . There is only

one soul,

” they say,“ between ten women .

” A hus

band declares,

“ I love thee as my soul,and I beat thee

as my cloak .

”

I II country districts they marry earl y,

but the sons do not qui t their father’s house . This

arrangement is found to be very profi table,for the

daughters—in- law not only al l work,and so increase

the wealth produced by the family,but also bring

a port ion of l and with them as dowry . Boys are

nowforb idden to marry unt i l they attain the age of

seventeen,but i t is no t very long ago that grown-up

women were to be seen carrying about boys of six to

whom they had been betrothed .

Kovalevsky has wel l Shown that many of the mar

riage customs of this country are survivals from a

primit ive and prehistori c age when the woman ruled

the household and had more than o ne husband . The

t ie between brother and sister i s very strong,the

brother being her guardian and protector . He plays

a very important part at the wedding . Thus , in

RUSS IA 197

accordance with old custom,when the bridegroom

has arr ived at the bride ’s house her brother s its down

by her Side with a naked sword,or a st i ck in his hand ,

and,on being requested by the bridegroom to surrender

his seat,repl ies that he i s there to keep ward over h is

sister,and wil l not move unless he is paid for it .

Dear brother,don ’ t g ive me away for nothing ask

a hundred roubles for me,and for the vei l which covers

my head a thousand roubles . Ask for my beauty , Go d

alone knows h owmuch .

” Such is the tenor of the

songs composed for the occasion . This shows that

brothers had the power of sel l ing their sisters i n

marriage,and i t al l points to a distant age when the

matriarchal system prevai led,and the brother was his

sister ’s guardian . In L i ttle Russia the brother ’s sword

is decked with the red berries of the rowan tree , red

being the emblem of maidenhood .

The “ Bride- show,another ancient custom

,i s no

longer kept up . Youths and maidens of the trading

class used to assemble i n great numbers,some to

admire,others to be admired . The girl s stood in a

row , arrayed in their”

best dresses,their mothers

keeping guard behind . Speaking of one of these

shows , an Engl ish travel ler relates that o ne of the

mothers , being at a loss to th ink o f any fresh charmfor her daughter, made a necklace of six dozen si lver

gi l t spoons , a girdle of an equal number of tablespoons ,and fastened a couple of s i lver ladles behind in the

form of a cross . The young men walked up and

down like inspect ing oflic ers,but were not al lowed


to express their admiration . I f a youth found a

maiden to h is fancy,he could arrange fo r the be

tro thal through a match—maker . The embassy o r

party which,among the peasants

,goes to the girl’s

house always starts at night,and tries to avoid

meeting any person,fo r that would be a bad omen .

Having knocked at the cottage door and asked permis

sion to enter,they are pol i tely received and requested

to tak e seats,which they refuse to do unti l the purport

o f their visit has been declared .

“We have a brave

youth,

” they say,“ you have a fair maiden . M ight

not the two be brought together ?” The parents of

the girl acknowledge the compl iment,and then al l sit

down to a meal . When this is over the embassy ask

for a final answer,and the parents

,having first pleaded

for delay , give their consent . Then fol lows the “ hand

striking,

”

or first ceremony,before the betrothal

,which

cannot be broken . A candle i s l ighted and placed

before the holy pi cture ; the youth and the maiden

utter a prayer and strike hands over the bargain . As

with the Chinese,the Jews of o ld , and other peoples ,

so here the girl must bewai l the change that i s in store

for her , and conti nue to do so up to the time of the

actual marriage . H er companions , on the day before

the wedding,express her feel ings i n many poeti c forms

,

whi le she undoes her l ong single plai t o fhair,the badge

of maidenhood , and distributes the ribbons and flowers

thereon .

In o ld days a betrothed maiden , by way of expressing

complete submission to her lord , presented him o n the

MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

nobles the wedding takes place i n the evening . Both

bride and bridegroom rece ive a solemn blessing from

their parents before leaving their houses,and even the

wedding garments are blessed by the priest . The

hoytirin carry the sacred picture in procession before

the couple to the church,where a l ighted wax taper

i s given to each,and the bel ief i s that the one whose

l ight goes out first wi l l be the first to die .

The marriage service is d ivided into three parts,

once celebrated at different t imes,but now al l taken

together . The first is the office of Espousals , i n

which gold r ings are exchanged . Secondly,the office

of Matrimonial Coronation,in Which bride and bride

groom are crowned with crowns of si lver filagre e (or

garlands) . Thirdly , the o ffice of the D issolut ion of

the Crowns . It has been wel l pointed out that al l

these ceremonial s are so exact ly l ike those of the old

Roman nuptial s that they would appear to have been

d erived therefrom . Roman poets and historians al lude

to them all .

The giving of wine mingled with water is an al lusion

to the marriage of Cana,and takes place after the last

of the above ceremonies . Then the pair,fol lowing

the priest,walk three times round the smal l movable

al tar O II which the cross and the Gospels are placed,

l isten to exhortation,kiss o ne another three t imes , and

receive his benediction . They also kiss the holy

pi ctures .

One of the many supersti t ions sti l l prevail ing among

the peasant populat ion of Russia i s that , on the occa

RUSS IA 201

sion of a marriage,the happiness of the newly—married

couple is not assured unless the parents of the con

tract ing parties are soaked with water from head to

foot . When a marr iage takes pl ace in summer this

is easi ly accomplished by ducking the fathers and

mothers in the nearest river,but i n winter they are

l aid on the ground and rolled in the snow . According

to the Moscowcorrespondent of The Daily Mail , the

observance of this curious custom has recently caused

the death of a bride ’s father I II the v i l lage of Sysertsky,

i n the Upha province . In th is case the wedding guests

were al l drunk,as is usual on these occasions, and ,

i nstead o f S imply rol ling the man in the snow,they

brought water out of the house in a bucket and threw

i t over him . N ow the t emperature was far belowthe freezing point

,and consequently i t i s not surprising

to read that the unfortunate man took a severe chi l l

from which he never recovered .

The fol lowing account of a marri age in middle—class

l ife is ch iefly derived from a detai led description,given

many years ago by Dr . Granvi l l e in his book on St .

Petersburg . At the appointed time a large number

of fri ends of the part ies,having previously assembled

in the Church,attended by a deacon

,proceeded down

the church from the al tar to the door,wherehe received

the candidates for matrimony . After he had del ivered

to each a l ighted taper,and made the S ign of the cross

three t imes on their foreheads,he conducted them to

the upper part O f the nave . The bride was attended

by young ladies i n splendid dresses,and incense was


scattered before them as they advanced . The priest , as

he went , reci ted a l i tany in which the Choristers assisted ,and , at i ts conclusion , halted before a table , 011 which

the rings were deposi ted ; then , turn ing towards the

altar wi th the bride and bridegroom behind him ,he

repeated a very short and impressive prayer, o r i nvoca

t ion . After this he turned round to the couple and

blessed them ; and then , taking the rings from the

table , gave o ne to each,proclaiming in a loud voice

that they were married to each other “ now and for

ever,even unto ages of ages . This declaration he

repeated three t imes,the bride and bridegroom

exchanging rings at each declarat ion . The rings were

then again surrendered to the priest,who

,after having

crossed the foreheads o f the young couple with them,

placed them 011 the forefinger of the right hand of each .

He then again turned towards the altar and read

another impressive part of the servi ce,in which allusion

is made to al l the passages of the Bible in which a ring

is mentioned as the symbol of union , honour , and

power .

After this,the priest took the young couple by the

hand and led them towards a si l ken carpet which lay

spread on the ground . This is to the mass o f spectators

a moment of great interest ; fo r i t i s firmly bel ieved

that the one wh o first steps upon the carpet wil l

have the mastery of the other throughout l i fe . “ I II

the present i nstance,says Dr . Granvi l le , the bride

secured possession of th is prospect ive advantage with

modest forwardness . ”

RUSS IA 203

Two si lver imperial crowns were then produced by a

layman,and received by the pr iest

,who

,after bless ing

the bridegroom,placed one of these ornaments o n his

head the other was merely held over the bride’

s head

i n order that the superstructure raised by a fashionable

hairdresser of St . Petersburg might not be deranged .

After the crowning,a cup was brought to the priest ,

who after drinking from it himself, gave i t to the bridegroom

,who took three sips

,and then del ivered it to

the bride,by whom the same ceremony was repeated .

After a short pause other prayers were recited,and

,

these being concluded,the priest took the pair by the

hand,and walked three t imes round the desk

,rec it ing

some sentences . Then,taking off the bridegroom

’s

crown , he said , Be thou magnified,O bridegroom

,as

Abraham Be thou blessed asIsaac,and mult ipl ied as

Jacob,walking in peace

,and performing the command

ments of God in righteousness . ” In removing the

bride ’s crown he said,

“ And be thou magnified,O

bride , as Sarah ! Be thou j oyful as Rebecca,and

multipl ied as Rachel del ight ing in thine Own husband,

and observing the bounds of the law,according to the

good pleasure of God .

”

After this the tapers were extinguished,and taken

from the bride and bridegroom,who were then d is

missed by the priest with his blessing,and received the

congratulat ions of the company,and saluted each other .

Dancing and feasting cont inue for three days after the

wedding , and on the eighth day , the parties again

repair to the church,when the pr iest performs the


ceremony of D issolving the Crowns with appropriate

prayers . Things have changed since Dr . Granvi l le saw

this wedding,and now the dissolving of the crowns

is part of the actual marriage servi ce .

Marriages sometimes take place among the poor

convicts in S i berian prisons . According to l aw , the

woman must fol low her husband,and therefore the wives

and fianeées of the condemned must ask and obtain

permission to follow them into exi le . When husband

and wife are both prisoners,the man being condemned

to exi le i n Western S iberia,while the woman must go

to Eastern S iberia,the posi t ion i s reversed and the

husband fol lows the wife . How sad and strange are

these marriages,performed by consent of the M in ister

o f the Interior , before a temporary altar in the

D irector ’s o ffice,or in one of the cel ls

,al l wearing

grey cloaks and sometimes chains ! The unhappy

pair cannot l ive together unti l after arrival at their

dest inat ion .

Among the Korak s of S iberi a a young man seeks for

a maiden with considerable dowry i n the form of rein

deer whi ch are the most valuable kind of property in

these parts . As in al l eastern countries,the marri age

i s arranged with the young woman ’s parents . Should

they be sati sfied with hi s posi t ion and prospects in life,

the would—be husband is al lowed to propose matrimony

to the girl herself. O II being accepted,the lover takes

up his abode in the home of his future wife,but he

must no t be afraid of hard work for a young man in


the exci tement is intense,as the venerable relat ive

sudden ly gives a signal to the bride to begin the game

of “ h ide- and- seek Q ui ck as thought she d arts

away into the first compartment,the bridegroom

fol lowing with no less rapid steps . Both are nowhidden from View by the first curtain of reindeer skins

,

and by that time the bride has doubtless escaped into

the second division of the tent . Not so , however , the

l uckl ess bridegroom ! His progress is considerably

impeded by the women who have taken up their

Stations in each compartment,and endeavour to prevent

him from catching his bride by beating h im wi th the

wi l low rods,as he rushes along in hot pursui t . Some

try to trip him up ; others endeavour to entangl e

him in the reindeer skins,which they qui ckly throw

over h is head . But he rushes on,overcom ing al l

obstacles,at least i f he is determined

,l ike a man

,not

to fai l i n his obj ect . The women beat h im unmerci

ful ly,but st i l l i t i s al l a great j oke ; and what does

a l i t tle pain count when there is a chance of catch ing a

wife ? In a few moments the bride has reached the

l ast compartment,and perhaps i t is hardly necessary

to say that the bridegroom ,i n most cases

,catches her

there . Should he fai l to do so ,i t may be taken to

mean that the girl does no t wish to become his wife .

Perhaps she hardly knows her own mind . In that case

he must serve another two years,and try his luck

again . But as a rule al l ends happi ly,the bride wai ting

fo r her lover in the last compartment . May-be she

pit ies h im , and“ pity is ak in to love .

” The guests , of

S IBER IA 2 67

course,are greatly del ighted when the young people

come forth hand in hand . There can no longer be any

doubt that the fair o ne is wi l l ing to become a bride,

and so the two receive the congratul ations and good

wishes of the assembled guests . Henceforth they are

man and wife . We seem to see here traces of certain

customs observed in India,and perhaps of Mongol ian

origin,as

,for instance

,the pelt ing of the bridegroom

with bal ls of boiled rice .

CHAPTER XV

Scandinavia and Polana

IN Sweden if a youth and maiden eat of the same

piece of bread people say they are sure to fal l in

love with one another . This is not an indispensable

prel iminary— at least i n the province of Bohus and in

Finland . I n those parts a matrimonial go—between is

often employed to carry the youth ’s offer to the fair

l ady,whom perhaps her suitor has never seen . Should

the proposal find favour with the maiden and her

parents,the ambassador presents h is cl ient to the

family on the following Sunday . The young peopl e

do not at this stage converse with o ne another ; the

girl,ignoring her suitor’s presence , devotes hersel f to

knitt ing ; but the youth , having no resource of the

kind,i s often reduced to the last stage of sel f—conscious

misery .

In the neighbourhood of Torna (Scania) the maid’s ac

ceptance of her lover’s offer is celebrated by a feast cal led

o r yes—ale,

” and the sui tor gives his mistress a

7a—goftta ,or

“ yes-gi ft,

” a si lver goblet contain ing coins

wrapped in paper . At the betrothal they exchange

rings and present gifts to each other— o n the maiden’

s


with them a ring of Wheaten bread and a flask of

brandy,so that

,as was the custom of old t ime in

Scotland,they may be able to treat any friend they

meet wi th on the way. Already the bride has been

dressed by her t ire—woman (Drott the wife of the

pastor of the vi l lage . She wears a black dress,with

much display of art ificial flowers and part i—coloured

ribbons ; a girdle C lasps her waist ; round her neck

hang pearls while her crown is ei ther a myrtle-wreath ,a circlet of Spangled paper

, o r a gorgeous one of si lver

a loan from the church . The shoes,which in some places

are put on by two members of the br idegroom ’s party,

form an important part of her apparel . There must be

no buckles or ties in them,as she hopes for easy Chi ld

bearing,and in each a s i lver coin i s placed so that

money may never be lacking in h er newl i fe . Shod in

these she sal l ies forth to the cowhouse,where

,i f she

milks one cow,mi lk wil l never be lacking in her new

home . While in Englandwe welcome the appearanceof the sun on the bridal day

,the Swedes are glad to see

a gentl e rain she wi l l be a ri ch woman,they say, on

whose crown the rain fal ls .

D uring the ceremony the bridesmaids hold a canopy

of shawls over the bride . When the servi ce is over the

Warend woman stands to distribute alms in the church

yard,no doubt

,l ike her German sister , to take away

misfortune .

I n some districts of West Gotland , on the return

home the mother meets her daughter on the threshold

and puts a lump of sugar or a coffee bean in her mouth .

A HARDANGER BR I DE, N ORWAY. From a Photograph by 111. Selma:

2 1 2 MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

take pl ace at a popular restaurant in the nearest town .

A bridal party may sometimes be seen rowing in a boat

across a fj ord,as in our i l lustrat ion .

When the guests have eaten and drunk to their

heart ’s content,dancing is the order of the day . I n

many distri cts the bride “ dances off her crown with

much ceremony . She stands bl indfolded in the centre

of a ring of dancing maidens,and puts her crown hap

hazard on the head of any o ne of them within reach .

The maiden thus dist inguished is l ooked on by the

company as the next bri de,and becomes in her turn the

centre of the ring so the crown goes from one to the

other throughout the party . Last ly the young wife,

l i fted high o n a chair,drinks to the speedy marr iage of

al l the maidens present . She then takes her place

among the married women .

The .bridegroom takes leave of the ranks of his

bachelor associates in a s imi lar fash ion . He dances

wi th each in turn,and is then hoisted on their

shoulders . A scuflie ensues for the possession of his

person between the marri ed and S ingle men , and he is

often severely handled in the struggle . At the co n

e lusion of thi s ceremony the pair are somet imes called

by the quaint t i tle of “ young father and young

mother,and retiring

,they take off their bridal cloth

ing and reappear in simple garments befit ting staid

married folk .

The mirth and j ol l i ty continues far into the n ight,

when in the Torna distr ict the pastor conducts the

wife and then the husband to the bridal chamber,where


house where friends o r rel at ions of the bridegroom may

be dwel l ing .

The bride,on her way to church , must never once

look back,such an act would augur i l l for her future

happiness . Musi cians head the process ion , bridesmaids

come next,then the bride ; the bridegroom and his

men fol low in their own separate procession .

The feast takes place at the bridegroom ’s house ; a

few speeches are del ivered,and the company begin to

dance . After about two hours the husband must take

h is bride ’s crown from off her head .

In West Jutland guests and relat ives assemble at the

bride ’s house in the morn ing,to help in preparing the

feast , as in Lower Bri ttany . They bring contributions

of butter,eggs

,o r poultry .

The bride,who has been attired by the clergyman ’s

wife,heads the procession to the church ; she i s

accompanied by two bride-women (of whom one

is the lady who att ired her) , and h er own bridesmaids .

All walk in twos,and after the ceremony (among

Roman Cathol i cs) the guests attend Mass .

The feasting is on a l iberal scale , and the bride and

bridegroom lead the dancing with a reel . When the

girls are t ired ofdancing they play games unt i l supper

i s served,about three o ’clock in the morn ing . Each

guest takes away a present in return for hi s co ntribu

t i on to the feast .

The following account of a Pol ish wedding in high

l i fe nearl y a century ago,shows that the nobles o f

POLAND

the country married their daughters with a splendour

and magnificence which was almost royal . I ts accu

racy can be rel ied upon,for the facts are al l taken

from a diary kept by the sister of the bride herself.

The ceremony of betrothal was briefly as follows

The fami ly l ived in a castle,and one day at the

dinner,which took place at noon

,the mother put into

the hands of her daughter Barbara an entangled skein

of si lk , upon which she blushed and appeared unable

to raise her eyes . Her future husband had been invited

to the meal—w all eyes were fixed on the bride elect . The

fami ly j ester made many sly j okes to amuse the com

pany . After dinner the girl sat in a recess of o ne of the

l arge windows,and began to unravel the skein of S i lk ,

upon which her future husband approached with these

words,Am I to understand

,madam

,that you do

not oppose yourself to my happiness ? Barbara ’s

way of saying yes was,My parents ’ wishes have

ever been sacred to me . ” The young man was co n

ducted by his father and the priest,to a sofa on which

the noble lord and lady of the cast le were seated .

Then the father , addressing the latter , assured them

that his heart was fi l l ed with sentiments of the sincerest

affect ion and of profound esteem for the i l lustr ious

family of and that he had long desired this

coming al l iance . Their daughter was a model of

virtue and grace,and his son was to hi s father a source

of pride and consolat ion . He then took from o ne

of his OWII fingers a diamond ring and,placing it o n

a salver held by the priest,said

,This ring I received


from my parents and placed upon the finger of my

lamented wife upon the day of our betrothal . Permi t

my SO II now to place i t O II your daughter ’s hand,as

a pledge of his unalterable love and true devotion .

”

This was fol lowed by an address from the pri est,

after which the bride ’s father repl ied that he wi l l ingly

consented to the union , that he now gave up all rights

over her . The mother then pl aced a valuable ring

on the salver with these words,

“ I concur in what my

husband had said,and present my daughter with this

ring,the most precious j ewel of our house . My father

received i t from the hands of Augustus I I . when he

concluded the Treaty of Karlowitz . I t was with

th is ring,the memory of which is so dear

,that I was

betrothed . I bestow i t nowupon my child ,i n the

fervent hope that sh e may be as happy in her marriage

as I have been in mine . The priest having pro

nounced a bless ing,one of the rings was given to the

daughter,the other to her betrothed husband

, whoplaced the one she received 011 the l i ttle finger of her

l eft hand,fasten ing i t down with a kiss . This finger

is cal led the “ heart finger .

”

She,however

,did not

keep the ring,but presented i t to her future husband

with trembl ing hands . He again kissed her hands

and,throwing himsel f at the feet of her parents

,swore

to do al l i n h is power to make their daughter happy .

While her father was fi l l ing a large goblet with old

Hungarian wine,many pretty compl iments were paid

to his daughter . The heal th of the betrothed c ouple

was then drunk— first by the father,who completely


attentions not,as an Engl ishman would

,to the young

l ady , but to the parents of his fiancée . This was the

stri ct etiquette then,the idea being that the trueway

to win the l ady ’s affection would be by pleasing her

fami ly . There i s certain ly something to be said fo r

thi s custom— if only by way of rebuke to those

engaged young couples in our own countr y,who

constantly go and sit i n a room by themselves,regard

less of their relations and friends .

Time passed quickly,and noble guests arriv ing at

the castle were received with discharges of musketry and

troops presenting arms . Bands played at intervals .

The marri age deed was drawn up in the presence

of al l the assembled guests . At last the wedding—day

arrived . Early in the morning the bride and bride

groom went to church to confess and receive the Holy

Sacrament . The pries t gave his bless ing as they knel t

before the altar . Breakfast was served at the cast le,

after which the bride was attired in a r i ch white dress,

with Brabant lace worked in si lver . I n the bouquet

worn at her waist there had been put a golden coin,

struck on the day of her birth,a piece of bread

,and

a l i ttle sal t ; when this custom is observed they say

the married pair wil l never be in want o f food o r funds .

A morsel of sugarwas added to give sweetness to theirl ives .

Then the folding doors were thrown wide open and

the bride appeared supported by two ladies . She was

in tears,and advanced with trembl ing steps striving

hard to restrain her sobs . The bridegroom came

POLAND 2 19

forward,took her hand

,and led her to his father and

mother—in—l aw,before whom both knel t down together

to receive a blessing . On rising from their knees , the

bride and bridegroomwalked al l round the room , whil e

each person present wished them happiness . Then al l

proceeded to the private chapel attached to the castle ,where the pries t stood before the altar on which an

immense number of candles were burn ing . A ri ch Cloth

covered the al tar steps . The bride and bridegroom

knelt,whi le bridesmaids

,groomsmen

,and parents behind

stood at one side . The Veni Creatorwas chanted , andthe priest gave a long discourse in Latin . R ings

having been exchanged,the newly-marri ed couple threw

themselves at the feet of the bride ’s parents to receive

their blessing . At a signal from the master of the

ceremonies,an I tal ian vocal ist

,sent expressly from

Warsaw,began singing

,accompanied by a band of

musici ans . Outside the dragoons kept up a continued

discharge of musketry,and at intervals cannon were

fired off. At length when the noise had ceased , the

bride ’s father made a speech whi ch so affected his

daughter that she could make no reply .

D inner was served in the great hal l . The wedding

cake,an ed ifice of sugar four feet high

,represented the

Temple of Hymen adorned with all egori cal figures and

surmounted by the arms of the two fami l ies now all ied

by marriage,surrounded by French inscript ions . This

cake was the product of a fortnight ’s work on the part

of the confect ioner . The table bore many other beauti

ful things,such as china figures

,gold and si lver baskets

,


and toast after toast was drunk with great enthusiasm,

and a tun of Hungarian wine was emptied during the

dinner ! The company drank to the newly—married

couple,to the State

,the king

,the prin ces

,the arch

bishop,the clergy

,and l astly

,t o the host and hostess .

After each toast glasses were broken and cannon

fired,and a blast was blown o n the trumpet . ’ When

dessert was ended there fol lowed a Si l ence,during

which the father cal led fo r the master of the household,

and in a low tone of voice gave him orders to fetch

something . This proved to be a morocco leather box

containing a golden cup in the form of a crow,studded

wi th prec ious stones ; showing it to the company he

told them that i t had descended to him from a long l ine

o f ancestors . He then fi l led i t with very o ld wine,and

drank to the health and prosperi ty of the bride and

bridegroom . The toast was received with great

enthusiasm,the music became louder than ever

,and

al l the guns thundered at once . Before al l had drunk

from this beaut i fu l o ld goblet,a hundred bottles of

wine had passed out of it . In the evening therewas agrand bal l . The king ’s representat ive danced with the

bride by way of opening the ball . ” First a polonaise

was danced,then came minuets

,quadri l les

,mazurkas ,

and other more l ively dances .

In the middle of al l th is dancing a curious ceremony

took place . A chair having been placed in the centre

of the room ,the bride sat in i t whi le the twelve brides

maids unfastened h er coiffure,singing al l the while in

the most melancholy tone,Barbara

,i t is al l over

,then

CHAPTER XVI

Germany.

THE Thuringian youths do their l ove making 011 the

way home from a vil l age dance , or fair and a swainputs the momentous questi on in i ts boldest form . Wi ll

you have me he says . I should l ike to marry you.

And , l ike M r . Barrie ’s Thrums lassie , the Thuringian

girl rarely dares to refuse the first man who asks herSo they walk home happi ly together

,and look upon the

matter as settled .

Should,however

,a Schellroda girl (o r her parents)

wish to say “ no,

” they d o not give utterance to that

disagreeable l i t t le word,but when the youth comes to

make his offer,they put a sausage 011 the table during

the meal, of whi ch their guest partakes . Whenever

this favouri te dish appears,the lover knows that his i s

a hopeless sui t . He must ei ther seek a wife elsewhere

o r be condemned to bachelorhood .

Among Bavarian peasants the bride ’s fine eyes are

often of less importance than the “ fine eyes of he r

casket,fo r there the wooer’s ambition i s to have a wife

with three thousand gulden . But to obtain this he

must h imself be in prosperous circumstances . When

GERMANY 2 23

the matrimonial agent has laid the proposal before the

el igible lady ’s parents,her father pays the youth a visit

,

during which he inspects the house from garret to

cel lar,as well as the stables

,cattle and entire farmstead .

I f the inspect ion has produced a favourable impression,

the suitor i s informed of the fact , not there and then,

but in a few days,and they enter upon the prel iminaries

of marriage .

Among the people of Saxe—Altenburg (a duchy to

the north of Saxony) , sui tab i l i ty of rank is one of the

first considerat ions . The good folk are nothing i f no t

exclusive,the peasantry being div ided into three Cl asses

,

according to the nature or amount of property they

possess . The patri cian class consists of proprietors

who have at least two horses,and is further sub—divided

according to the number— whether two,three

,four or

five— of these useful animals which a man ’s stable

contains . Members of the second class are often not

inferior to the first in wealth,but their stock consists

of cows only ; while day- labourers , art isans , and the

rank and fi l e,wh o merely possess o r rent a house and

garden,come last . It is " not an unheard—of thing

,but

i t is rare,for a member of one class to marry into

another . The proud possessors of horses do not

wil l ingly l ink their fortunes with those who have on lycows grazing in their fields and it would be a distin ct

mésalliance for ei ther to choose a partner from the

ranks of thosewho have no catt le or fields at al l .A young man in the Upper Pal at inate (Bavaria)

gives to the lady of his choi ce an uneven number of


coins,which he has obtained by exchanging them for

some of his own money,but no t with a woman

neither must he al low any of the fair sex to see them

whi le they are in his possession .

A young Thuringian , after the betrothal , which is

usual ly celebrated in the family circle,gives the bride

elect a finely bound prayer—book with name and date

o n the cover ; and the Altenburger orders two ringsto be ready by the t ime of the feast .

L ike the Tyrolese Procurator the bearer of invita

tions is in many parts of Germany one of the most

conspicuous of the wedding guests ; and in Saxe

Altenburg this o ffice,requiring such a happy combina

t ion of tact,fluency and act ivi ty , descends from father

to son . When this person , decked o ut in ribbons and

wreaths,arrives with his message of invi tation to friend

o r relat ive of bride or bridegroom ,he is sure to receive

refreshment and a welcome . In some parts of Thu

ringia he appears a week before the j oyful day , and in

N ied ergrund sted t, as a S ign that his message has been

duly del ivered,he leaves o n the courtyard door a chalk

drawing of two hearts , i nside which are the init ials of

both bride and bridegroom .

The condition of a betrothed maiden in the Upper

Palatinate i s so crit i cal,and such dire consequences are

supposed by these superst it ious people to fol low on her

simplest act ion,that we wonder any young lady in those

parts ever dares to contemplate marriage ! She must

parti cularly avoid contact wi th the dead and dying,and

never,upon any considerat ion , l i ft up . anything she


goes , i n order that she may not be forced to shed

tears afterwards in her married l i fe . I t i s true she has

taken al l manner o f precautions to ensure happiness .

She has sewn five crosses on the bed—cover,so that the

witches may not cast their spel ls over h er she looked

to the spinning-wheel,and sawthat i t was properly

placed in the cart wi th the distaff side towards the

horses,so that she need not be afraid ofdying in chi ld

birth . And should she be a Neukirchen maiden,the

first thing she carries into the new home wil l be a

crucifix,o r the pair wi l l have nothing but crosses

during their married l ife .

O n his side the bridegroom is equal l y anxious to

avert misfortune . At Tiefenbach,whi le he is helping

to unload the cart,he marks with consecrated chalk

every arti cl e of the bride ’s household goods,making on

i t three crosses,and sprinkl ing i t with holy water . In

the parts of Bohemia near the Tyrolese front ier he

must be l iberal wi th h is money 011 th is day , for while

the cart i s being driven to his home the vi l lage lads

bar the way with poles o r ropes , and ere they wi l l let

the horses pass,a tol l of one o r two florins i s exacted

from him . Here the pri est enters to bless the house

and al l the bride ’s recently transported belongings ,according to the o ld Roman ri tual , Bened ictio thori et

thalami Nor in the midst of this season of rej oicing

do the young folk forget those who can no longer take

part i n their gladness . After the bridal furn iture has

been housed and arranged the pair go to the church

yard,and kneel down to pray at the graves of their


a pair of horses i n the procession ; but she drives up

at noon into h er future husband ’s courtyard,as sh e

proudly says,

“ i n a cart with six horses . ” Could a

princess have more ?

The Thuringi an bride is clothed in black,with a

gorgeous display of coins and chains . On her head she

wears a tal l,tower—l ike scarle t covering

,round which

circles a wreath of myrtle o r rosemary . In her pocket

the Mark girl has dil l and sal t,as a protect ion

against the evi l one ; i n her shoes she puts hairs of

every kind of cattle i n the farmstead,a practice which

they say causes the flocks and herds belonging to the

young couple to increase and flouri sh . So important is

this matter that a bridal pair coming from the Altmark,

a distri ct of Prussian Saxony,eat ere they go to church

a soup made of al l kinds of fodder for the l ive stock

of the farmyard ; this must be an unsavoury conco c

t ion,but the eating o f i t is a smal l pri ce to pay for

good luck,year in year out

,with the l ambs and pigs .

The bride of the Upper Palatinate guards against

future poverty by putting in her pocket a pinch of sal t

and a piece of bread,while her husband hopes for

plentiful harvests because he carries in his coat pocket

spec imens of al l kinds of grain . And the women of

Rauen,i n the Mark country

,bel ieve that i n tucking

insid e’

the ir gloves a broken twig of a besom , they have

a sure charm against mari tal i l l- treatment .

There i s usual ly a breakfast at the house of the

parents of one o r other of the happy pair,before the

procession starts fo r church amid the scraping of

GERMANY 2 29

fid d le- str ings and the blare of wind instruments . The

Thuringian bride and bridegroom eat soup together

from the same plate ; but in doing so watch each

other with careful eyes,for whoever eats the l ast spoon

ful wil l be the first to die . This idea of future widow

or widower-hood , one would think , must affl i ct the

young couple l ike a nightmare during the wedding—day .

On the way to church the bridegroom of the Upper

Palat inate never looks behind,or the o ld wives wi l l say

he i s seeking a second partner in l i fe . I f the procession

meets wi th a funeral or a pries t on the way to admi

nister the last Sacrament to the dying,i t i s an infall ible

sign that one of the happy,or rather unhappy , pair

wi l l soon die . I f a l ight o n the altar goes out before

the E l evation of the Host,the bridegroom must first

prepare for death ; i f th is happens after that part of

the ceremony,i t is the bride who wil l be cut Off.

Whereas,i f the priest should unfortunately sneeze

during the service,neither of the couple can survive a

year . A cold in the head thus becomes ominous to the

last degree .

N owis the time for Spiteful folk or rivals to do ani l l turn to the bridal pair . No wonder the bride with

beat ing heart presses up close to her husband during

the service so that there may be no room for the Prince

of Darkness between them . The friends often form a

serried rank behind so that neither of the couple may

be “ overlooked,

” for great is the power of the “ evi l

eye at moments of supreme happiness . Many are

the ways of doing mischief. Take one of the bride ’s


hairs,plucked from her head as she entered church

,

wrap i t round a palm twig,and she wi l l certainly go

mad . There are manifold spel ls that the simplest

act ions o n your part wi l l throw over her,causing her

,

among other things,to be chi ldless .

I n the midst of these foreshadowings of evi l the

bride,i f she wishes to secure her posi tion for the future

,

must be careful not to l ose her presence of mind . Can

she contrive to lay her hand over that of the bride

groom whi le the blessing is being pronounced,she wil l

be the ruler,he the ruled

,ih their married l ife . After

the ceremony is over she may by various l i tt le ruses

secure for herself matrimonial supremacy . A Tiefen

bach woman of the Upper Palatinate has only to enter

her husband ’s house,when the feast is held there

,

before her lord and master,and she i s sure to have

the upper hand .

The host who wel comes the bridal party to his house

or inn for the wedding meal hands a glass of wine by

way of greeting to the bridegroom . The glass goes

the round,first o f the male , then of the female , guests ,

and comes at last to the bride , who ,when She has

tasted,throws i t away . This custom of first d rinking

from and then breaking a vessel is widely spread .

Occasional ly the bride throws i t over h er shoulder ;sometimes i t is tossed over the house—roof.

In Bavari a the so—cal led “ bride ’s race ” takes pl ace

before the inn where the feast i s to be held . The goal

i s represented by two bundles of straw,which the

winner carries to the bride . The prize of this race,

GERMANY 23 1

common to al l Germanic'

peoples , was in old en times

the key of the bridal chamber ; this has now been

replaced by a wooden key . In the Upper Palatinate

time has somewhat obscured the origin of this race .

There the best man ’s hat I S the goal,and the fle ete st

runner obtains merely a money present from the

bridegroom,and his share free of cost of the wedding

meal .

At the wedd ing feast in Thuringia the bridegroom

waits on the guests,but his young partner does no t

l eave him to hunger whi le he attends to others ’ needs,

but'

reaches h im a dainty morsel now and then . She

hersel f must scarcely touch food,such is local et iquette .

The bridegroom opens the ceremony of pledging the

crowns ” by toasting the bride ’s wreath ; the other

men fol low suit,and

,each receiving the t insel crown

of the maiden he has toasted,puts i t round his cap.

Another interlude l ightens this lengthy meal . In

Bavaria the girl s escape from table and buy love

favours,whi ch they pin on the hats of their respect ive

swains . Whoever finds a girl ’s favour on his hat is

bound to toast and treat’

her,and act as her “ Cheva

l ier during the evening .

In Altenburg during the dance the bride loosens her

mantle, so that i t may fal l from her and be carried

away . In Bavaria the wreath is the symbol of maiden

honour,and the bride parts wi th hers during the

wreath dance,

” the principal one of the evening .

When the t ime comes she pairs off with the best man,

and the husband dances with the Chief woman guest,


Ehrenmutter,who i s always an ancient dame . The

guests l ine the room and make j okes at the dancers ’

expense . O ld slips of the bridegroom made long

since,scandals he has hal f-forgotten

,are raked up

against h im,and comments

,not always of the most

flattering descri pt ion,pass from mouth to mouth .

The Ehrenmutter,as his partner

,comes in for some of

the rai l lery . Inquiries whether he would not l ike to

change partners wi th the best man,and other witt i ci sms

,

not of the highest order , resound on all s ides . At last

the welcome change is e ffected , the bride passes back to

her husband,and amid universal laughter the luckless

old lady is trundled off in a wheelbarrow . The bride

is then divested of her wreath , and a sprig of rose

mary on a platter i s handed to the young husband

with a good wish .

The presentation of gifts to the bridal pair,whi ch in

a general way takes place o n the day fol lowing the

wedding,is

,i n the parts of Bavaria adj oin ing the

Tyrol,a feature of the bridal night . The procurator ,

o r master of the ceremonies,who has kept the whole

gathering al ive wi th his mirth,nowstands forth in the

middle of the room,and relates at great l ength in verse

how a sad accident has befal l en the crockery o f the

young couple . A hen,he says

,and thirty chi ckens ,

flew into the kitchen,and in chasing them out every

pot,cup

,and saucer has been broken . And now comes

the moral of the story . Will the kind guests ,” he

asks, who have eaten and drunk of the best

,contri

bute something towards the needs of thei r young

CHAPTER ! V I I

Bohemia,Austria and Hungary

BEFORE a marriage takes place i n Bohemia the twofamil ies about to become al l ied together hold a

meeting in order to discuss the terms of the bargain .

They sit down at two tables,ei ther in the house of the

future bride or some mutual fri end,and at last

,after

much haggl ing over detai ls,the matter is arranged

more o r less to the sat isfaction of both parties . On

these occasions the procurator plays a leading part . I t

i s he who i nvi tes most of the relat ions o n each side to

the above meeting . On arrival at the bride ’s house

before the meeting,this courteous person craves from

the “ wel l—beloved mistress of the house ’ permission

for the “ i ndustrious bachelor, t.e .

,the bridegroom

,

to enter . His mode of addressing a person i s as

follows Honourable,i ndustrious

,kind

,wel l-beloved

Brother—in- l aw,Neighbour

,Godfather

,Master of the

house , or Good Fri end,

” as the case may be . The

meeting i s at tended by the bride and bridegroom ,but

only as si l ent l isteners . The latter i s accompanied by

his father and godfather . The bride usual ly prefers

to be out of sight,and hides away behind the stove .

234

BOHEM IA 2 35

When matters have been arranged the procurator

begins,Well—beloved brother—in—law

,neighbour , See ,

the bridegroom has too l i t t le . He has not seen the

bride . If she i s anywhere near , or in the house , I wi l l

go and fetch her . ” But even after this summons the

shy betrothed one remains i n her hiding—place , while a

curious ceremony is performed,somewhat similar to the

Tyrolese custom . A woman is brought forward who

is not the bride ; for her to answer the summons so

quickly would hardly be considered modest . And so

some servant appears,who decl ares

,falsely

,that the

young man has deceived her,giv ing her gifts and pro

mising marriage . This person is known as the “ Old

bride,and the rather compromising accusations which

she makes against the bridegroom are made partly with

the obj ect of getting a present from him,partly also

with the idea of taking away as she departs al l i l l- luck

from the house . One wonders whether she may rept e

sent a fairy,or perhaps a witch ? When this l i t t le

comedy,which doubtless affords amusement to the

guests and young people . is over, the true bride is

al lowed to come forward,and the bridegroom takes

her hand . After this there is much feast ing and

dancing .

Among the customary presents given by a youth to

his betrothed are such articles as the fol lowing— a

rosary , prayer—book , si l ver wedding—ring , a girdle with

three keys , a fur cap . A l itt le before the wedding i t i s

usual for the bride to send her future husband a shirt

sewn with gold thread and coloured si l k,and a wedding


ring . Fri ends come and inspect the bridal outfit .

Invi tations to the wedding are given by the pro

curator. The wedding breakfast takes place at the

bride ’s house,each guest receiving a handkerchief.

I t i s nowgett ing near the time fo r start ing off to the

church , and so the procurator comes in and formal ly

asks for the bride . The father,or godfather of the

girl as the case may be,i s expected to Show great

reluctance to part with her . When the request is firstmade he repl ies that he must “ think i t over ” being

asked a second time,he says that he has been dissuaded

from the step . But when the same request has been

made a third t ime he gives way and answers , All i n

God ’s name . The bride at l ast comes forward,very

bashful ly , and kneels down o n the threshold to receive

her father ’s , or godfather’s blessing

,before she goes

i n procession to the Church . First come the inevitable

musi cians,then the bridegroom (i n a fur cap , which i s

de rigueur) . At a l i ttl e distance fol l ows the bride ,carrying her prayer- book and rosary . She is expected

to shed tears of grief at l eaving the o ld home . The

bri de wears— if old customs have not quite died out

a kind of crown made of si lver wire , and round her

forehead a stri p of black velvet,from which hang l i t t le

bel ls . Pink ribbons adorn the back of her hair . The

bridegroom wears a tinsel crown . Before the service

begins the groomsman places the bride ’s mantle on the

bridegroom ’s back,so that h is body is quite covered by

i t . This curious l i ttl e custom is evident ly of ancient

origin,fo r the act i s performed for supersti t ious


brought h e r up as a Christ ian . A curious game is

then played . They take a hen , place i t 011 the floor

under some kind of pot or vessel , bl indfold the boys ,and tel l them to try and hi t i t . The one who i s so

lucky as to do so takes the hen . T h e bringing in of

the dowry—cart o n the wedding—day is rather an

important ceremony . Four chamber-women sit i n i t,

spinning as they go along . Spindles are given to bride

and bridegroom to unwind,and whichever gets the

shorter thread wil l be the one to die first . The bride

groom is asked to l ift a basket of crockery out of the

cart . Every o ne watches to see whether he does it

neatly or awkwardly. Should he be so clumsy as to

drop i t there is much merrymaking at his expense .

When everything has been taken out of the cart the

bridesmaids ask the husband if he is content . Yes,

”

he says, “i f you wil l get me the best thing , i.e .

,the

bride . This happens l ate i n the day , after the cere

mony at church .

The people l iving at the foot of the Bohemian

Erzgebirge have a custom pecul iar to themselves . On

the morning after the wedding two l ittle girls enter the

bridal chamber and put on the bride ’s cap. Three

times they se t i t crooked o n her head , and each time

she puts i t off. Then the old frau comes in and put i t

straight . At breakfast—t ime the groomsman conducts

the bride downstairs to the assembled guests . All are

expected to praise her,and the groomsman has the

honour of dancing with her, the bridegroom looking

o n . Then follows a mock ceremony , which may per

BOHEM IA 239

haps be regarded as a survival from ancient days the

company pretend to put up the bride for sale . The

husband offers a few gulden for her and is al lowed to

Cl aim the fair one as his wife . Then i t i s his turn to

dance with her . She must dance clumsi ly , pretending

to be l ame,so that the company may tease him by

saying he has made but a poor bargain .

The Czechs have certain customs which may be

mentioned here . On the wedding- eve the bridesmaids

and certain girl friends of the br ide meet to bind the

rosemary twigs for her wreath . The bridegroom is

admitted as a special privi lege,but probably because the

girls find some amusement in teasing him . To other

men i t is a case of “ No admittance .

” The eldest

bridesmaid takes a twig,binds i t

,and passes i t on to

the next one,who adds another and then passes i t on

,

and so the wreath passes round ti l l quite finished .

In some places the newly-married couple receive their

presents on the day after the wedding,i.e .

,the day on

which the bride goes to her husband ’s house . The

ceremony of rece iving presents somewhat resembles the

taking of a collect ion . The young wife si ts i n a corner

of the room,with the women around her . The

groomsman , placing a dish on the table , makes a Short

speech,asking the guests to give according to their

means . Each male guest comes up in turn,puts a coin

down o n the plate,and refreshes himself with a draught

of beer from a mug standing on the table . Then the

women come forward with their gifts of flax . Amongst

other presents the bride final ly receives a cow,a sheep

,


and a goose . She then takes a chi ld i n her arms,kisses

i t,and gives i t a coin from the plate.

I II the neighbourhood of the R i esengebirge the

maidens come in the evening before the wedding to

make the bridal wreaths . The youngest bridesmaid

makes the bride ’s wreath , the eldest that of the bride

groom . The others are allowed to make wreaths for

their favouri tes among the youths invi ted to the

wedding,a del icate attent ion which is doubtless

appreciated . The girls s ing as they make the wreaths,

and their songs are of love,of youth , of beauty and

marri age . The master of the ceremonies , however , takes

a different and more cyn ical v iewof l ife , and so speaks

in praise of a bachelor ’s happy days . During the meal

which fol lows,he places three dishes before the bride

first,wheat

,symbol of frui tfulness ; secondly , ashes , with

a l i ttle mi l let fo r her to pick o ut,to see how pat ient she

is the third dish is a covered one,and when the bride

l ifts up the cover a sparrow fl ies i n her face . I s t hi s

symbol i cal of anything , or on ly a j oke ? I nstead of

ri ce,people throw peas at the husband and wife .

The last customwe mention here recall s the orig in of

the practi ce of giv ing presents to the bridesmaids . I t

is,as already pointed out

,of the nature of ransom

,

and has been handed down from the days when a man

carried off his bride in spi te of a brave defence o n the

part of h er maidens . When the dancing is al l over,and i t i s t ime to del iver the bride over to her husband

,

the girls first lead him up to a figure h idden in a whi te

drapery . This is not the brid e ,’

but some old woman


of at the time . The Archduke was a keen sportsman,

and 011 his way to Styrian Chamois grounds frequentlypassed a certain posting- stat ion o n one of the Alpine

passes . Here l ived the pretty Anna Plo che l,who madehim an excellent wi fe

,and became the foundress of the

sti l l—flourish ing race of sportsmen,the Counts o fMeran .

I t i s said that he first sawher o n the occasion of one of

his frequent winter j ourneys across the Alps,when She

,

dressed up as a postboy,rode one of the leaders of his

carri age,which otherwise could not have proceeded o n

i ts j ourney over a snowed—up pass and he was much

struck with the courage sh e d i spl ayed .

Among the gipsies of Transylvania a man selects

the girl who happens to please him best , and leadsh e r before the j udge or gate , i n whose presence she

breaks a j ar, o r dish , at the feet of the man to whom

she has pledged herself. Each of the contract ing

part ies col lects a port ion of the broken pieces and

careful ly preserves them . Should these pieces be lost,

ei ther by accident or by design,both are free

,and can

only be t e—united by the breaking of another vessel i n

a simil iar manner.

The Saxons in a part of North Transylvania have

several pecul iar marriage customs . First , with regard

to courtship,a young peasant woman

,at the t ime of

harvesting the oats,shows her preference for some

part icul ar young man by going in his cart to help him

to carry in the oats . One may sometimes see quite a

procession of gai ly-decorated carts al l going to the

field , a wi l l ing maid seated in each .


(wortmann) the “ morning gift (morgen-gahe) con

sisting of shoes,handkerch iefs

,and other useful

arti cles . She, on her part , presents the bridegroom

with a Shirt entirely made by herself ; this he wears

on the wedding—day,and then l ays aside

,as being to o

precious fo r dai ly use . I t is kept ti l l he dies,and

he is buried in it .

I II some vil lages i t i s usual for a bride and bride

groom to step over the threshold of the new home

with their hands t ied together ; they also partake

together of bread and wine before entering , the

bridegroom throwing the glass over the roof of the

house . At the feast,al l the guests come forward in

procession with their gifts,the father of the bride

groom laying on the table a ploughshare , as a reminder

that hi s son must work,and doubtless a useful present

to o . His mother contributes a pi llow adorned with

ribbons,the bride ’s father presents a copper cauldron

or kettle , and her mother another pi l low decorated

l ike the former one About midnight the bride“ dances off the crown

,the symbol of maidenhood

,

This is done with certain curious ceremonies which

doubtless are of ancient origin . The married women ,

j oin ing hands,form a W ide c ircle round the bride

,

and dance unti l somehow the circl e is broken up,

when they al l run away into the courtyard . Then

o ne of the bridegroom ’ s men,who has been lying in

ambush,rushes forward and endeavours to

’

rob the

bride of her crown ; she i s defended by two brothers,

o r other male relat ions,but the young man always

AUSTRIA 245

succeeds in getti ng the crown . Then two of her

own women step forward and put a matron ’s cap

o n her head . Next morning a cake is brought to

the house,of which both must eat

,al though i t

contains certain unsav oury th ings,such as cow- hairs

,

swine-bristles,egg—shells

, Ste ,but the act is supposed

to ensure the welfare of their cat tle and poul try .

And here we have the custom of Ransom

turning up once more . The day after her marriage

the young wife goes to the church to be blessed ,the husband meanwhile wai ting outs ide . D irect ly she

appears outside the Church door,the newly—married

couple are surrounded by a crowd of young men

wearing masks,who separate them

,i f they can , and

a hand—to—hand fight ensues— probably half i n j est .

But , however that may be , the husband , i f he cannot

win her back otherwise,must pay a ransom for her .

A dance takes place near the church door.

Each wedding party— and there are general ly several

on the same day— has i ts OWII band of musicians,con

sequently the discordant noise i s terrible . This i s

nothing at al l,

” said a pastor to a l ady who was looking

on at the danc Ingof three wedding part ies . Sometimes

we have eight o r ten weddings,each with i ts own fid d lers

that is something worth hearing indeed

Among the Austrian settlers in Tran

sylvania,the men have a novel way of proposing

marriage ; watching h is opportuni ty at a dance , the

lover sl ips into the hand of the maiden who has

stolen his heart a new si lver coin,wound up in bright


coloured ribbon,and enveloped in a C l ean piece of

paper. She makes no S ign,but consul ts her family .

Should they consid er the match unsuitable,the coin is

returned to the young man , through some male rel ation ,within three days . If

,on the other hand

,they have

no obj ect ion,nothing is done

,and after the lapse of

three days the l over may conclude that his offer is

accepted .

Among the Magyars of Hungary the customs which

we are about to rel ate have died out in certain

distr i cts,but are st i l l i n existence in other parts of the

country .

A Magyar youth has opportuni t ies of meeting the

maidens of his nat ive Vi l lage at the scarcia,or i nn . I t

is here that the people dance together i n the evenings .

The sca’

ra’a i s to the Hungarian peasant a kind of club ,

where on Sundays and fete days young and o ld come

together to enj oy d ancing in the huge tents , gaily

ornamented wi th flowers and branches of trees . Music

i s provided and the pi cturesque costumes of both sexes

lend an addi t ional charm to the scene . The national

dance is cal led the scara’as because i t takes place at the

inns . Sometimes the musi c is very gay,at other t imes

sad,but the peopl e enj oy it

,for they find therein an

expression of thei r OWII varied feel ings . At one t ime

the dance is a stately promenade,at another t ime comes

a whirl ing movement l ike a Highland Fl ing . On these

occasi ons a young man is not al lowed to converse with

hi s partner,for the girl s are al l under the watchful


such occasions by these go-betweens , who name thesui tor

,and

,i f the parents have no obj ection

,return

to him with the good news . I II a few hours he

is on his way to the house accompanied by a friendwho acts as h is spokesman

,and knows the speeches

proper to such occas ions . This important personage

bears in his hand the loving- cup, and wears a badge

of the national colours . H is st i ck is ornamented

with ribbons and silver bel ls . Fol lowed by the would

be bridegroom,he enters the cottage and addresses the

girl ’s parents somewhat i n the fol l owing manner,only

in verse . I t is known to you through our enf

voyées

the reason why we pay a vis it to your respected roof.

I t i s Godwho has i ni t iated holy union,when He said

to Adam I t is not good to be alone,

’ and created Eve

as his partner . This gentleman , having considered his

fate , wishes to take a wife unto himself, in obedience to

the wishes and the l aws of our Lord . We have heard

the fame of your daughter,and i f the Almighty has

pleased to t ie in a knot the hearts of these two ,i t would

be a sin fo r us mortals to unt ie i t . Therefore we ask

you humbly to give permission for your daughter to

enter . ”

Then the girl comes into the room dressed in he r

hol iday attire the lov ing—cup is handed to the man,

who drinks therefrom and then gives i t to the maidenof h is choice . But the young people may no t yet

consider themselves engaged . There is many a sl ip’ twixt the cup and the l ip

”

; or in this case,between

the ceremony o f the loving- cup and the kissing

HUNGARY 249

feast to be presently descr ibed . These simple

Magyar peasants appear to take a more serious v iew of

marriage than some people do in countries where

divorce i s easi ly obtained . And so three days ’ grace l S

al lowed in case the parents,or ei ther of the lovers ,

should change their minds . The youth must send his

eno oye’

es on the third day to ascertain i f al l i s well . I f

not,and the parents have thought the match und esir

able,a message is sent through the en

‘voyees , couched in

some such terms as these We have thought the

matter over,and find that the young man is going in

the wrong direction,and not in the way poin ted out by

the Lord , so yo u had better turn your steps to other

paths . ” This may not imply that they have any mis

givings about the character of the lover, but probably

only that the girl has Changed her mind . I f,O II the

other hand,his sui t prospers

,the messengers return to

h im with the good news that he may cal l at the house

and see the family . He does so accompanied by his

spokesman,and certain se t speeches in verse are made .

The young people are nowpracti cal l y engaged , andtowards evening go to the priest to receive his

benedict ion . On their return,a feast cal led the hand

7taking is made . The man must then make a present

o fmoney and a betroth al ring to his fiancée , wh o giveshim in return a si lk handkerchief embroidered by

hersel f and another ri ng .

For two successive Sundays the banns are asked

in church,after which fol lows the “ Kissing—Feast .

After supper the engaged couple are al lowed for the


first t ime to converse alone,i n a separate room

,where

they seal their vows with a kiss- probably more than

one . The wedding takes place after the banns have

been put up for the th ird t ime .

Nearly every one i n the v i l lage is i nvited to the

wedd i ng feast ; and , as in the case of the “ Penny

Wedding of Scotland,now abolished

,each guest

contributes something,i t may be eggs

,flour

,or

wine .

The bridegroom ’s spokesman has now retired,having

played his part ; his place is taken by the best man,

who goes round to each house and conveys his invitat ion in verse

,i n the following manner “Most humbly

do I implore forgiveness fo r my intrusion,and ask you

to l isten to me . I am deputed by So—and—so and

his wife to ask you pol i tely with al l your family

to partake of a dish,and to dri nk a glass of wine

,to be

fol lowed by an entertainment on the occasion of their

daughter ’s wedding . Bring with you knives,forks ,

and plates I II the original the expression used is not

wedding but the feast o f the seed grown beneath

their wings .

These people seem to have a taste for speech

making,and more speeches are made the day before

the wedding,when the best man comes

,with several

carriages,to take away the bride ’s dowry of household

effects to h e r future home .

The nex t morning the same personage comes to

ask permission, o n behalf of the bridegroom ,

to take

away from the parents their daughter . Once more


with drawn swords . As soon a s the ceremony is

over a mock tri al i s held,and the poor bird having

been found gui lty of bigamy is solemnly sentenced

to d eath and executed by two men with swords .

Apparently thi s is intended as a warning to the

bride and bridegroom to be fai thful to one another ;but perhaps some students of ethnology may be incl ined

to regard the ceremony as a rel i c from heathen t imes

when animals were sacrificed on such occasions .

At the conclusion of the feast,when the bride has

l aid aside her wreath and changed her dress,yet another

opportuni ty is found fo r a l itt le speech . On approach

ing the large tent,where dancing is about to take

place,the best man steps forward and addresses the

newly—made wife somewhat as fol lows : “ May the

Almighty crown this head with every happiness i n

place of the wreath whi ch has been removed . May

Nature ’s bloom rest on this face . May no care or

burden draw sighs from these l ips . May she l ive in

peace and happiness with her husband . May the

l ight of thei r l i fe last for l ong,and may its flame be

extinguished amidst happiness and peace . ” Then the

best man is kissed by the bridewho takes him for herfirst partner i n the dance .

Long after the bridal pair have ret ired,the v i l lage

young men and maidens keep O II dancing v igorously .

Needless to say there i s much merry-making , and the

long day o r night having come to an end , one might

conclude that the wedding ceremon ies were all over ,but such is no t the case . These Magyars are so fond

HUNGARY 2 5 3

of fest iv i t ies , that on the following Sunday the wedding

is celebrated over again at the bri de ’s o ld home . After

that the young couple settle down to the rout ine of

ordinary l ife .

A ful ler account I s to be found in Hungary and

i ts People,

” by Louis Fe lbemann,from which the facts

narrated above are taken .

CHAPTER ! V I I I

The Tyrol and Switz erland

VARIOUS are the ways in wh ich maidens s i lently

reveal the ir preference fo r some part i cular swain .

In the Tyrol,if a girl presents h er lover with a

bottle of spir i ts,i t i s equ ivalent to saying that he has

found favour i n her eyes,and henceforth is at l iberty

to v is i t h er at home . I f her parents look upon the

young man with d isfavour,she may contr ive to lower

the prec ious bottle at n ight from her chamber w indow .

I II the front ier val leys of Upper Styr ia (part of the

Eastern Tyrol) i nv i tat ions to a wedding come through

the “ best man,

”

o r“ wedding—i nv i ter (Hoch z eits

lader) , about a fortn ight before the event . His posi

t ion i s in some respects rather a del i cate o ne . He

goes round the vi llage inv i ting the people in each

house . If they offer him food . i t may be taken as an

acceptance . Should they deny h im that courtesy,the

probab i l i ty i s that they wi l l not attend the celebra

t ion . Al l who come to the feast afe expected to

contribute towards the expenses ; the result of whi ch

rule is often a good many refusals . I t i s no easy

matter,however

,i n sp i te of th is understanding

, to tel l254


remove . I t i s cal led the Fl/ iegenh olz ,because the

custom is to keep i t fo r the purpose ofmaking the first

cradle .

I II the Unter Innthal , the lover, OI I h is first v is i t

(having prev iously rece ived permiss ion to come) , presents

h is fair o ne with a glass of wine from a bottle he has

brought with h im thus revers ing the custom prevai l ing

in other parts of the Tyrol . Acceptance is equivalent

to a promise O II her part to become h is wife— a custom

which once more i l lustrates the importance attached

in many countries to the act of eat ing o r dri nking

together. Should she refuse,the girl means to confess

she has only been playing with h im . One who hasno t yet made up her mind , puts the young man off

with excuses . Should the wine unfortunately be spi l t,

o r the glass broken , i t i s considered a bad omen fo r

the future happiness of the l overs . So much so that

the peasants say of an unhappy couplewho d o no t sui t

each other,They have spi l t the wine between them .

”

As in Switzerland,so here

,the bride is frequently

stolen away after the wedding This is done for a j oke

by some smart lads,who contrive to divert the bride

groom ’s attention during the festiv it ies . Somet imes

they even take her as far as the next vi l lage ; and if

the man to whom she has been married is unpopular,

they take his bride to some inn and there entertain

h er,and themselves

,unti l quite a big bi l l has been run

up,which the unfortunate bridegroom

,who i s sure to

arrive before long , must pay out ofhis own purseI II these parts , widowers who marry again ,

i f they

T HE TYROL 2 57

are known to have treated their first wives badly , are

tormented 011 the wedding night by hideous noises i n

the street , old kettles , wooden trumpets , 85 C , being usedfor this purpose by a band of young men .

In the South Tyrol (Ampezzo ) weddings take place

about a fortnight after the betrothal . During this

interval the bride is j ealously guarded by a chaperon,

who is known as “ the growli ng bear (Brontola) .

When the lover comes to vis i t h is mistress , any loVe

making the young people may indulge in takes place

under the eye of a Brontola ; and i t i s even said that

she i nfl i cts a fine of several florins on a too ardent

lover wh o dares to kiss his fiancée .

On the Saturday before the banns are put up fo r the

first t ime,the priest examines the bride in the Creed

,

the Ten Commandments,and the prayers of the Roman

Catholi c Church . Here again we meet with thecurious l i ttle comedy of running off with th e bride ,only in a d ifferent form . Some of the bridegroom ’s

friends carrying her away,return with her to the

church,where She i s compel led to walk three t imes

round the central aisle ;‘

after which they take her to

the inn where a feast i s prepared , for which the bride

groom pays . N o r do they surrender to him their fair

captive unti l a handsome sum has been paid by way of

ransom ! I t i s d ifficult to account for such a custom

except as a survival from very early days when the

insti tution of marriage was not In existence .In the vi llage of Pergine , about thirty years ago ,

several other curious customs were sti ll in vogue . Fo r

18


instance , on the wedding—day as the party proceeded on

i ts way to the pari sh church,i t was accompanied by

several of the bridegroom ’s fri ends,one ofwhom held

in h is hand a st ick,to which was attached a l ive hen

while the other held a spinning wheel,the d istafl: being

wound round with flax . These were symbols : the

hen signifying a good mother,the spinning wheel and

distaff referring to the dut ies of a careful housewife .

Also when the service was over,and the newly

married couple arr ived at the bridegroom ’s house,the

doorwas slammed in their faces,whereupon a quaint

dialogue took place between the bride and her motherin—law . The former began by uttering certain words

i n an unknown language,the meaning of which had

been entirely lost . These words had been transmitted

oral ly from one generation to another,and i t was at

last discovered by some antiquarian that they were l ike

those rec i ted by Roman brides O II these occasions . The

mother—in- law repl ied by asking the meaning of the

bride ’s speech . Whereupon the newly-wedded one

would reply that she was the lawful wife of the man bywhose side she was standing

,and that the church had

confirmed their union,adding further that she would

revere the parents of her husband , was pious ,‘

dil igent,

and accustomed to hardsh ips . Then the relenting

motherin -law threw open the door and welcomed the

young couple . These Pergine customs , being known

to be survivals from heathen times,have of late been

suppressed by the clergy .

I II the West Tyrol,adj oining the Bavarian highlands ,


exclaims : “ Meth inks I smell a bride . A search

takes place and at last,with many blushes

,she comes

forth to l i sten to the se t speech in which the best man

conveys his invitation . In some parts this important

funct ionary passes the n ight in the house o f hi s friend ’s

mistress ; but unti l the t ime comes for him to del iver

his message he says not a word about the nature of his

business . I t sometimes happens that the first person

invited is the bride herself.I II vis i ting other houses the brother of the bride is

allowed , i f he can do so unobserved , to steal a hen

while h is friend the procurator del ivers the invi tation .

Hence the ni ckname of hen-prigger appl ied to him .

Perhaps we may suppose that he i s in real i ty only

col lect ing contributions towards the expenses ofhis

S i ster ’s wedding- feast . Should he be discovered,how

ever , he i s l iable to be beaten , o r even ducked in the

pond .

When things have been sett led the young man,his

bride—elect,and his procurator

,have a meal together at

the inn ; and this i s cal led the “ cabbage-dinner ”

(Krautessen) . When the frant has been put o n the

table,the girl asks her future husband what he wi ll

give fo r i t . I want none,

” he says,but nevertheless

b ids a flo rin .

“ That is too l i ttle,

she answers ;whereupon the best man says he wi l l give two

,and SO

the bidding i s kept up,unti l at last the betrothed one

gets as much as eight o r ten florins forher hraut.

A great variety o f marriage customs prevai ls in

SW ITZ ERLAND

Switzerland . I II some places a wedding i s attended

with ful l ceremonial,and many customs which have

about them a strong flavour of the olden time . I n

others , where l i fe i s harder , perhaps , or the peopl e poor ,gett ing married is a very simple affair . I n the vall ey

of Anniviers (Canton Valais ) on ly one in a family i s

permitted to marry,and thus the patrimony i s never

dimin ished . The fami ly conclave decides which

member shal l perpetuate the stock . But the wedding

furnishes forth no merry—making . At daybreak the

pair come to Church in their working clothes,and after

the ceremony each goes back to work in the fields .

Swiss maidens have a good deal of l iberty allowed

them during the court ing period,though their choi ce

of a bridegroom is sometimes restri cted to their ownlocal i ty . In some o f the vi l l ages in the Forest Cantons

al l the youths,as soon as they reach the proper age

,

j oin a society the obj ect of wh ich i s to prevent lads

from other vi l l ages coming to court the girls . The

lovers of the vi l lage give the password,and cl imb to

the windows of their fair ones at night unmolested .

But the stranger who comes court ing must somehowmanage to find his way unobserved

,or else fight his

way through . Parents do not obj ect to this somewhat

unwise custom of nocturnal v is i ts,which is known as

the Kirchgang. Another custom closely connected

wi th i t is the M aien—stechen. In the Canton of

Lucerne the lover anx ious to do honour to his mistress

plants before her home,on the first day of May

,a

smal l pine tree gai ly ornamented with ribbons . This


is regarded as a proof of great devot ion , and the

parents entertain him very hospi tably . Less acceptable

attentions are sometimes received by girls who Spurnthe young men o f their own vi l l age . A straw puppet

is suspended before the girl ’s window,or the farmer

’

s

best waggon is found to have been turned upside down

O II the green .

In the Canton of Lucerne weddings usual ly take

place o n a Monday in carn ival t ime,and February i s

general ly considered a l ucky month . During the

period between the publ i cation of the banns and the

marri age the powers of evi l are supposed in many

places to be unusual ly act ive . In consequence of this

the bridal pair do not leave home after n ightfall,or

nobody knows what might happen . There is,how

ever , much to be done indoors by way of preparationsfo r the wedding . I nvi tations are sent round beforehand

to all the guests . In Schaffhausen the bearer of these

is the bridegroom ’s tai lor ; i n the valley of the Thur ,the vi l l age schoolmaster . Armed with a red umbrel la ,and wearing on his hat a t insel wreath , this important

functionary starts on his rounds . At each house he

del ivers a set speech,to which every one crowds to

l isten,and at the end names the sum to be paid by

a guest for his share in the entertainment given at

the vi l l age tavern in celebration of the event .

Meanwhile the bride has been putting the last

touches to the trousseau,and in the neighbourhood of

Baden (Aargan) some days before the wedding the

dowry—cart i s driven,amid general rej oicing

,to the


The servi ces of the oratorwho has borne the invi tat ions are put into requisi tion early 011 the morrow . I n

the Thur Valley he accompanies the bridegroom to the

bride ’s house,where they breakfast together

,after

which he makes a long speech to the father and mother,

recounting to them al l the noble qual i t ies of the bride

groom,and beseeching them to give their daughter

wi ll ingly away,as he is sure a long l i fe of happiness i s

i n store for her. A rival orator then “ takes the

word,

” and presents the reverse side of the shield ,enumerates al l the di fficult ies o f the new posi t ion

,and

dwel ls o n the virtues of the bride . When the time fo r

the ceremony approaches,i t i s often a matter of some

difficul ty to get possession of the lady ’s person . At

Sobrio,i n Livenea, when the bridegroom and his com

panions come to her father ’s house to seek her,the

parents offer as a subst i tute o ld hunchbacked women,

o r even large doll s . At T agerfeld en i t fal ls to the lo t

of the orator to demand the bride . Guests and musi

cians are wai t ing,al l i s i n readiness ; but the lady ,

playing the o ld comedy o f womanly reluctance,i s

upstairs locked in her chamber . The mother,how

ever,i s amenable to reason

,and

,after l i stening to the

orator ’s del ivery o f the customary speech,and receiving

a si lver coin,cal led The key of the bridal chamber

,

bri ngs her daughter forth .

The bride then departs with her betrothed for

church midst prayers,tears

,and good wishes

,whi le

to keep up her spiri ts musi cians cheer her with their

songs . In the vi l lages near Wiesen (Grisons) she i s

SW ITZ ERLAND

always dressed in black,and wears on her head a

wreath of orange blossoms,Whil e a pigtai l of the same

flowers reaches below her waist . Those of the wedding

guests who wish to do much honour to the occasionalso appear in black

,and doubtless give to the wedding

procession something of a funereal aspect . During the

ceremony the br idal pair,say the people of Obwalden ,

must kneel so close together that no gap is left , and

those behind cannot see when they j oin hands , a

precaution taken,maybe

,to ensure that no division

may come between them in after l i fe . Many eyes

are meanwhile directed toward the two candles , one

burn ing on each side of the altar . I f ei ther o f them

burns feeb ly o r goes out,that betokens death to the

one whose place is on the corresponding side . This

curious superstit ion is remarkably s imi lar to one i n

China .

An important ro’

le i n the wedding funct ions is played

by the “ yel low woman , or <gelhe frau (so cal l ed from

the story of Ostara and the yel l ow sl ippers) , a mistress

of the ceremonies , often the godmother of the bride .

She may be seen in Lucerne walking at the head of

the women guests,bearing a basket fi l l ed with kerchiefs

fo r distribution amongst the party . In return for these

she receives , l ike the Tyrolese Ehrenmutter , the money

presents destined for the bridal pair at the inn where

the feast takes place . Hers,to o

,i s the task of taking

off and burning the wreath,symbol of the br ide ’s

virginity,during a special dance . I f this is qui ckly

consumed it is a happy omen ; should i t smoulder a


long t ime,there is trouble in store . So much is the

smouldering dreaded that i n Obwalden the young wife

and her compan ion poke the‘

fire fiercely to make i t

blaze,and then kneel down to pray’ for good fortune

while the wreath is burn ing .

At Baumgarten the yellow woman has to perform

a del i cate o ffice . During the wedding feast she wipes

from the bride ’s eyes the tears Which every wel ltrained and decorous maiden should shed at the

prospect of leaving her parents ’ home . Whether she

l aughs or weeps,the bride of the Thur Val l ey comes

off poorl y at the wedding meal . She may only eat

What the groomsman places stealth i ly on her p late , and

she must beware o f this friend ’s advances,and see that

he does not in the meantime remove her shoe,or else

the wedded couple wil l come in for a good deal of

banter and merriment .

When the dancing,feasting

,and merry-making is

over , the neighbours prepare to accompany the bridal

pair to their dwel l ing . Many quaint customs con

ne cted with the bride ’s home—coming once prevai led

in French Switzerl and,but have now fallen into disuse .

On arriv ing at the bridegroom ’s house,which was

bright with wreaths of roses and marigold,an o ld

woman met her , hung the housewife’s keys about her

waist,and scattered three handfuls o f Wheat over her

head . Then the husband , l i fting her in his arms ,entered the house

,so that her foot never touched

the oi l- smeared threshold .

At St i l l i , i n the Aar Val ley , according to an o ld and

SW ITZ ERLAND 267

now obsolete custom,the bridegroom and his parents

l eft the inn a few minutes before the bride and guests .

On reaching home they fastened every door and Win

dow,drew every bolt and bar

,so that the house

presented a very inhospitable front when the young

W i fe and groomsman appeared before i t . The grooms

man rapped the door sharp ly with the “ brid estick .

”

“Who is there ?” said a voice from behind the window

shutter .“A young woman

,answered the groomsman , “ who

W ishes to be received into your house . ”

“ That is a great deal to ask,

” said the father- in

l aw from within .

“ I s she virtuous,industrious

,and

orderly ?

The groomsman declared that she excel led in al l

these qual it ies .“ Can she cook

,bake

,wash

,spin

,sew,

and knit ?

persisted the father—in—law .

The groomsman assured him sh e was perfect in al lthese accompl i shments

,and then the door was thrown

Open by way of Welcome , and the bride entered thehouse .

CHAPTER XIX

I taly,Spain and Partuga/

HE good o ld custom of “ keeping company,as

distinct from being formally engaged,obtains among

the gondoliers ’ famil ies at Veni ce . When a youngman finds that a damsel eyes his sui t wi th favour

,he

informs a friend,and the two don their best clothes

and make a ceremonious cal l upon the girl ’s father .

I f the parents are sat isfied,a certain trial t ime of some

months is arranged for,and the young people see

what they can of each other, or

“ keep company ”

during this period . When this i s past,i f they have

meanwhil e discovered that their tempers are incom

patible,the matter drops . If

,on the other hand

,al l

goes wel l,the young man

,his parents and relatives

,

Visi t the girl ’s father and make a formal demand fo r

her hand in marriage . A day o r two later the be

tro thal i s celebrated , when the lover presents his

mistress wi th a wedding and other r ings,which must

al l be returned should the lady prove fi ckl e . M r

Horat io Brown I says that i n the province of Ud ineI L i fe on th e Lagoo n s .

268


never to approach her l over ’s dwel l ing,and even in

h e r walks to avoid i t (compare Melanes ia , p .

A valuer has meanwhi le drawn up an inventory of

the bride ’s belongings,and this paper is del ivered to

the capoccz'

o of the bridegroom ’s house . Should the

young man die wi thout children,the widow receives

back the ful l value of al l she brought to her husband .

H e r dowry invari ably consists of some clothes and

l inen,a bed

,and a pearl necklace worth from

if;5 to

J£ 100 or i f her famil y are too poor to buy pearl s of

this value she must be content with coral . In the

north of I taly the dowry consists of gold ornaments,

and a bride wi l l sometimes have as many as twenty

three gold r ings upon h er fingers at the wedding .

The Venet ian fiancée knows that she must provide,i f

possible,the furniture of the household

,but if her

means are not adequate to such a purchase,the bed

room furni ture,consisting o f a bed of walnut wood

,six

chairs,two chests of drawers and a looking-glass . This

is invariably expected of her . She brings also an array

of copper pots,which hang from the beams of the

kitchen roof. These become heirl ooms and are por

tioned out to the daughters of the house as they

marry . In many parts o f I taly the dowry is brought

with great pomp to the bridegroom ’s house the day

before the wedding . A friend of the present writer

met a cart drawn by white oxen,decked with gorgeous

head- fringes,o n the road between Sciro llo and Loreto .

The cart was l aden with l inen and household goods,

two immense and gaily decorated pil lows topping the

ITALY 271

pi le . The bride’s mother and friends fol lowed , on their

way to make up the nupt i al bed .

Before the wedding—day the Venet i an br idegroom

must seek out a su itable “ best man This i s not

always an easy matter,for the dut ies of that functionary

are heavy,and entai l no l it tle expense on any one who

wishes to acquit himself of the task with éclczt. On the

day before the wedding he must send a box of bon

bons, on the top of which is a l i t t le sugar baby , to the

bride ’s house,with two bouquets , one of real and one

of art ificial flowers,and a present of j ewelry

,a brooch

or earrings . I t falls to his lot to provide l iqueurs and

wine for the wedding supper , four candles for the

wedding mass,four gondolas to convey the guests to

the inn for supper,and satisfy the demands of beggars

and chi l dren,who cry Ewiw ! a sposa, at the

church door . A compare’

s hand is always in hi s pocket .

I n Italy the dread of a wedd ing in May seems to be

universal,and in Veni ce people marrying are very

much restri cted with regard to suitable days . When

al l i s said,Sunday is the on ly t ime when the nupti al

knot can be tied with any prospect of future happiness

for the bridal pair . Saturday is indeed an exception to

th is rule,but then it is reserved for widows . Marry

on Monday and you are sure to go mad on Tuesday,

and there is the prospect of endless suffering before

you ; while Thursday , as the witches’ combing- day

,

i s out of the quest ion . There are no doubt equal ly

cogent reasons why Wednesday and Friday should be

rej ected .


In Veni ce they prefer to be marri ed at the earl iest

morning mass ; i n some parts of the Val d’

Arno after

sundown . The Tuscan bride wears a bl ack dress , with

a white bonnet or cap,while even in the coldest

weather she carries a fan . No bridesmaids,but only

married women accompany her to church,as no un

married girl i s al lowed to witness a wedding . Her

motherin— law , o r the house—mother (merm z

’

a) of her

husband ’s house,also stays at home to give the new

comer the kiss ofwelcome on the threshold .

The Venetian bride walks by the canal side on the

compare’

s arm,i n her second—best wedding dress

,for

only the even ing dance witnesses her best display of

finery . The bridegroom and the comare fol low in their

wake,and thus they go to church i n procession . The

groomsman ’s serv ices are frequently required during

the ceremony he kneels o n a crimson faldstool beside

the bridal pair, puts the ring on the lady’s middle

finger, pays fees when al l is over , and scatters small

coins among the wai ting crowd fo r chari ty . Then he

gives his arm to the bride,and al l go merrily home

wards . Sti l l he is weighed down by a great responsi

bility during the remainder of the day . The bride is

under his charge,and unless she i s in her mother’s

keeping he must never let h e r go o ut of h is sight .

After some sl ight refreshment the company separate

to meet at four o ’clock , when they adj ourn to the

tavern for supper. N o formal inv i tat ions are issfaed ,and al l

,save the parents and the compare and (0772478,

pay their share of the bi l l . Supper lasts four whole

S ICILY 273

hours ; at dessert a cake of hardbake is placed before

the bride with much ceremony ; she breaks i t and a

bird fl ies out ; the guests cry ! a spam .

”

Then the tables are cleared and they all dance . A

curious feature o f thewedding feast in Tuscany is theabsence of the women of the bride

’s c ircle . I t is true

she sends them -a basket of good things when the meal

i s over ; but one would think sh e must miss them

during the merriment .

On the whole the Tuscan wife knows that hers

wi ll be a hard lot . So many of her husband ’s

fami ly are gathered und er the patriarchal roof.

There i s the frequently tyrannical capocczb , the paler

famz’

lz’

cz s , who orders the affairs of the whole fami ly ;there is the mesmzkz , his mother o r wife

,under whose

dominion the various women of the household,sons ’

,

brothers ’,nephews ’ , and cousins

’ wives and daughters

pass their l ives . For the first week ofher married

l ife,the young wife , j ust to show her capaci ty , must

rise early and prepare the meals for the male port ion

of her husband’s household . This i s a foretaste of

her future labours . work ing early and late,i n the

house and in the fields , we think as we watch these

Tuscan women,grown o ld before their t ime

,how

abundantly in their case has the curse ofAdam been

added to the curse of Eve .

In S i c i ly the first step in arranging a marriage is fo rthe young man ’s mother to call upon the mother of the

girl selected by her son, i n order to ascertain , i n the19


first place,whether she approves of the proposed

all iance,and secondly to find out the amount of her

dowry . Should there be no obj ect ion o n her part,and

supposing that the girl also has no serious obj ect ion,

the other mother usual ly presents an " i nventory of all

the worldly goods she is able to bestow on her

daughter . This seems to be the usual mode ofpro ce

dure,but other ways are customary in certain distri cts .

About fifty years ago , i n the province of Syracuse ,the overtures were made in quite a different manner

,

which was less direct , and therefore possibly morepoli te . The young man ’s mother

,when making the

call,carried a certain kind of reed under her cloak

,

and inquired of the girl ’s mother whether she had a

reed l ike i t . If the latter said they had no such reed

in the house,or refused to look for one , i t was taken

as a pol i teway of intimating that h er family , or perhapsher daughter— were not des irous of receivi ng the young

man as their son- in—law . This was considered final,

and there the matter end ed .

Mothers sometimes select wives for their sons they

are naturally most anxious to find a steady and indus

trious girl wh o wi ll be wi ll ing to work— not an idlefl irt . The following method of selection may appear

somewhat rough and ready,but there i s someth ing to

be said fo r i t . The young man’s mother having some

parti cular girl i n View pays her a “ surprise Visi t . ”

Should the girl be found working (of course all good

girls a11n to be,among people in whose l ives there is

but l ittle t ime for recreat ion) i t is taken as a signal


garments are ei ther laid out on a bed , o r hung on cords

stretched across the mother’ s bedroom . Amongst

other th ings are tables,chairs

,and various art icles of

furn i ture . A profess ional valuer,always a woman ,

determines the worth of each art icle,and an accountant

makes the entries in a book . Should the woman beincl ined to make h er est imates to o h igh

,the young

man ’s mother may protest,and somet imes quarrels arise

i n th is way .

There is a c iv i l marri age as well as a rel ig ious

ceremony , the latter be ing considered the more

important o f the two ; the br idegroom ,i n fact

,does

no t real ly consider h imsel f marr ied unt i l after the latter

has taken place . I t i s a very fest ive occas ion ; and

the ceremony frequently takes place at n ight,hence

torches are used . Accord ing to trad it ion the br ide

used in o ld t imes to arr ive at the church door on

horseback .

In Spain when a young man desires better

acquaintance with a maiden,he appears at her house

door and asks for water . If inv ited to sit down the

lover rolls up a cigarette,and asks for a l ight . This

gives h im an opportuni ty to Observe the lady,and

,i f

h is impress ions are favourable , he finds excuses for

subsequent V is i ts . Having made up h is m ind to

demand h e r i n marri age he makes overtures to the

damsel ’s father . The latter,l ike a true Span iard

,

i s i n no haste . Go,

” he says , “ and make inquir ies

concerning me, so that you may learn who I am . I , fo r

SPAIN AND PORTUGAL 277

my part,wil l make inquir ies concern ing yo u ; come

again after a certain interval,and you shall learn my

decis ion .

” If,however

,before th is stage is reached ,

the lady has decided that the swain is not to her l iking ,she hands the crestfallen youth a pumpkin

,and by that

he knows that h is hopes are dashed to the ground .

But i f the fair one i s not averse to the match , and the

father i s sat isfied,the lover is allowed to pay more

frequent v is i ts . A Murcian courtsh ip is , however , a

very decorous affair ; the damsel rece ives the youth

under her mother ’s eye . They do not shake hand s ,and kiss ing i s not allowed . And it i s only in the

larger towns of Andalus ia,where the str i ctness of these

customs is somewhat relaxed,that a lover may offer his

mistress an arm when they are out walking together i n

the streets .

Among Span ish lovers,espec ially in Valenc ia and

Andalus ia,the serenade is a favouri te method of court

sh ip . The suitor,accompan ied by two torch—bearers

and music ians,stands

,on an even ing prearranged ,

underneath the l ady ’s balcony,and tells h i s love

through the mouth of a travador, who has ski ll i n

improvis ing and s inging verse . After much entreaty

the lady vouchsafes to appear on the bal cony , and first

making a show of maidenly reluctance,i s somet imes so

overcome by the trovd dor’

s plead ing,as to throw down

the wreath from h er head,and promise the lover to be

ever fai thful to h im . Naturally th i s i s al l a comedy ,even if a very graceful one

,the lover having obtained

the consent of the parents,and of h is mistress , some


t ime before th is publ i c d isplay of his affect ion takes

place .

If the girl ’s parents are Obdurate,and refuse to

countenance h i s sui t,the Span ish youth has a sure

remedy ; he appeals to them three t imes , and after

a th ird refusal,appl ies to the authori t ies . A local

Offici al appears in a carr iage in ful l un iform,

and d emands e i ther the father ’s consent to the un ion

o r the person of his daughter . Should the former be

den ied , the g irl i s , without further parley , carr ied Off,

and placed i n a respectable fami ly unt i l the wedding ,which i s sure to take place un less the youth is of

quest ionable character .

In Cast i l l e the bride wears a whi te flower i n he r

bosom ; i n Andalus ia a wreath o f pinks and red roses

fastened on her head . In Cad iz no r ing i s g iven in

marri age,but the d istinct ion between a married woman

and an unmarried girl i s that the former wears a flower

o n the right side of her hai r . Poor girls i n Madr id

wear a flower but do not always know o n which s ide to

put i t . Hence the young men are somet imes at a loss

to knowwhat i t means . Sometimes they say to a girl ,“ Are yo u married ? Yo u have a flower o n the r ight

s ide l

I n the neighbourhood ofMadrid a curi ous custom ,

though not wi thout i ts paral lel i n other lands,i s st i l l

prese rved . Two youths stand at the door of the bride ’s

house o n the wedd ing—d ay, and when al l the ch i ldrenand idlers o f the neighbourhood are gathered round ,they begin an oratori cal d ispute . One points o ut the

SPAIN AND PORTUGAL 279

bride ’s faults and fai l ings,the other

,loud in her defence ,

extol s h er Virtues . Somet imes the orators are so

carr ied away by exci tement that they come to blows ,and kn ives have been used at t imes . I n the same

d istri ct the bridegroom,i f he is a nat ive of another

place,must buy with gifts of wine , meat , and good

things,permiss ion from the lads of the vi l lage to take

away h is br ide— another form of ransom .

In Barcelona only the relat ions accompany the

pair to church ; the remain ing guests meanwhile

assemble at the parents ’ house,where the feast i s to be

held . The members of the d ifferent sexes have tables

l aid for them in two separate rooms , and Wh i le thegentlemen are well suppl ied with meat and w ines , the

ladies have daint ier d ishes , such as pyramids of candied

fruits and sweetmeats of the most ent i c ing descr ipt ion .

At the close of the meal the br idegroom appears among

the lady guests, wh o ,

seated in a semi- c ircle,hold out

the ir dresses to rece ive the bon—bons he scatters from

a basket into each lap . They are veri table ch i ldren

in the matter of sweetmeats,these sedate lad i es of

Spain .

After the meal is over the company dance,and as an

interl ude make gifts to the br ide . This is,in a Span ish

father ’s eyes,a most important i tem ; fo r as he is

obl iged i n many places to provide the whole o f the

furn i ture and household goods as wel l as the house

i tself, for the young couple , he can seldom spare h is

daughter a further dowry . Where the seguid z’

llas

mamhegas , as the popular dance is called , finds favour


with the guests,each man

,woman , and chi ld takes

a few turns wi th the bride and makes her a present ,wh ich usual ly cons ists o f money . In the Vi l lages of

Salamanca they place a pie and kn ife o n a table at o ne

end of the room ,and every guest that dances with the

bride comes up afterwards,cuts the pie with the kn ife

and put ins ide a p iece Of money.

When at midn ight the young Valenc ian husband

tries to steal away with the bride from among the

throng Of guests,her girl comrades str ive with al l

their might to keep her back,and he i s forced to

cal l i n the aid of h is fr iends . When at last they make

their escape,the young people ret ire to the terrace

on the house—roof,where a bower o f flowers has been

prepared . Truly they manage th ings poet i cal ly in

Spain ! In no other nat ion does (ostens ible) courtsh ip

begin with musi c of the serenade under the stars,and

married l ife begin with a bower o f flowers

In Portugal enamoured bachelors have to make the

best of very slender Opportun i t ies for making love . A

young man paces before the fair one ’s window unti l he

has aroused her attent ion,and then must contr ive to

make some pretty speeches before being observed by

the passers—by. He is sure to find her at mass,and

so becomes constant in attendance at her favouri te

church . I f the duenna i s not to o vigi lant,i t is always

poss ible to sl ip a love letter,express ive of h is deep

admirat ion,i nto the fair lady’s hand . They may be

lucky enough to meet at dances ; but , alas ! h owl i ttlecan there be said

,when decorum requires that the

CHAPTER XX

France,Hal/and

,and Belgium

THERE are many ways of encouraging o r d is

couraging a lover’s attent ions bes ides saying in

so many words that he i s welcome o r had better be

gone . The Dauph ine maiden is past m istress i n th is

art. When a swain ’s V is i ts are pleas ing to her , she

makes h is soup th ick with grated cheese ; i f the

contrary , he wi l l find a handful of oats in h i s pocket .

Should he st i l l pers ist,she wil l turn the blackened

ends O f the firebrand s towards h im ,a S ign there is

no mistaking . The peasant g irl admits a favoured

lover to a par/cement, wh ich corresponds to a consent

to “ keep company,as we say in England . The swain

i s now al lowed to dance with and call upon her,and to

make h imsel f useful i n a thousand l i ttle ways . Should

no better sui tor come forward,the two will probably

become man and wife . But Frenchwomen have a

shrewd turn fo r business,and

,i f a ri cher lover comes

across her path,the chances are Jeannette will no t let

h im sigh in vain . So Jean, wh o has been admitted to

a parlemem‘ at the New Year

,finds h is priv i leges

withdrawn at Easter whi le Jacques,who . has a larger

282

FRANCE 283

Vineyard or expectat ions from a r ich uncle , now carr ies

her basket and chats w ith her at the well .

But with the better classes there is l i ttle opportunity

for courtship . I n Par is young unmarr ied girls go out

occas ionally into society ; i n the provinces th is i s no t

allowed . The j eune fille Men élevée, who as an id eal ofinnocent and ignorant girlhood quite surpasses the“ young person of our own i s land , has no socialintercourse outs ide her own fami ly . The late Mr .

P . G . Hamerton,whose long residence in the country

made h im int imately acquainted with French hab its,

states that a young man rarely catches s ight of h is

fiancée until she i s promised to him in marriage . I n

one o f his charming bo o k s I he tells a story Of an

acquaintance who was engaged to one of two sisters ,neither of whom he had previously seen . When first

presented to these l adies the young man appl ied to h is

mother, who had doubtless arranged the affair, to know

which of the twowas to be h is wifeWhen a young man resolves on matr imony

,and

hears of a lady whose - fami ly and c ircumstances are

in every way suitable,he makes informal inquiries

,

through a pr iest o r some lady o f her c irc le , about

the girl ’s domest i c qual i t ies— and amount of dowry .

This last part icular is of the h ighest importance . I t

i s rare fo r dowerless girls to marry in France,though

the portions wh ich wives,even Of the comfortable

middle- class , bring their husbands , only consist of

some hundreds o r at most two o r three thousandI Fre n c h and E ng l i sh .

”


pounds . On rece iving sat isfactory informat ion the

su itor, who wishes to do the th ing in a decorous

manner and avoid the unbecoming susp ic ion of being“ i n love

,

” does not attempt to see the young lady

of h is choice,but commits the affair to some elderly

woman,perhaps h is mother o r aunt . This good lady

hastens to acquaint the g irl ’s fami ly with the offer,and in h er turn informs them of the suitor’s un im

peachable character and good circumstances . Should

the business prosper,they may be marri ed in two o r

three weeks . I n orthodox fami l ies the'

clergy fre

quently act as ambassadors,and are said by anti

cleri cals to be very clever at securing large dowries

fo r the fai thful sons of the church .

Mr . Hamerton was once asked to negot iate a matchbetween a friend of h is and a certain young lady whom

he also knew . She was domesti cated,sens ible

,pleasant

,

and very beaut iful . “ I don ’t wonder,

” said he,

“ that

yo u admire such an admirable young lady . She

becomes more and more beaut i ful every day .

“ I s

she pretty ?” was the reply .

“ I have never seen h er.

Some people say she i s pretty . Mr . H amerton’

s

fe e l ings,

“ as an Engl ishman bel ieving in love,and an

art i st bel ieving in beauty,being outraged by th is

answer,he quickly rej oined

,

“ Then fo r what reason

on earth d o you want to marry her ?” I t was the

sui tor’ s turn to be surpri sed . After Open i ng h is eyes

i n aston ishment,he said

,

“ I have reached the t ime of

l i fe when men take wives . I have made careful

inquiries , and , from all I can learn , th is young lady


Many of the anc ient customs of the Bretons are

rapidly dying out, but in certain out—O f—the—waycorners of Lower Bri tt any some sti l l survive . Here

a young peasant who is in love confides his passion to

the vi l lage tai lor . The latter then seeks out the

damsel in quest ion and speaks to her privately,laying

before her the swain ’s sui t . If the girl i s wi l l i ng , the

respect ive parents are consulted . On a certai n fixed

d ay, the tai lor, with a whi te ro d i n h is hand , and with

one purple and o ne red stocking on h is legs,accom

panies the youth and h is father to the house of the

future bride . Here the parents discuss “ ways and

means,whi le the young people enj oy a long private

and uninterrupted conversation . The meeting over,

they j oin the Old people,and partake together of white

bread,wine and brandy

,using the same knife between

them and eat ing from the same plate . On another day

the view (fuelle den) is held at the same house .

On this occasion there is much display,every one

appearing in hol iday costume,and the condit ions of

the marri age- contract are then fixed . The guests

inspect the trousseau .

The bride must choose a bridesmaid , and the young

man a groomsman . These,accompanied by an inviter

,

o r“ bidder

,

” as the person is called in Wales, who

bears a white wand,go and invite people to the

wedding . On so important an event as a wedding

nobody is forgotten,however humble h is condi tion in

l ife may happen to be and nowhere in the world are

the ties of kindred stronger than among the peop le of

BR ITTANY 287

Lower Bri ttany . A thousand persons have been known

to assist at the wedding of a prosperous farmer The

friends and acquaintances are so many that the task

of “ bidding ” often occupies several days . On the

previous Sunday every one who has accepted the

invitat ion i s expected to send some present to the

young couple . In the case of a farmer, the bearer of

the present is one of his farm labourers , very carefully

dressed,i n order to produce a great impress ion of his

master’s consequence . Sometimes the gifts are of co n

sid erable value , but they usual ly take the form of some

art ic le o f domesti c use or something fo r the feast .

At an early hour o n the wedding- day,the young

men of the vi l lage assemble near the bride ’s house,

where the bridegroom meets them . As soon as a

su ffic ient number have gathered together they depart

i n procession , preceded by the Ambassador ofLove

(bawalan) with a band of music— the bag—pipe being

conspicuous— to take possess ion of the bride . But

parents do no t give away their daughters too easily,

and so pretend at first to refuse . Accordingly,when

the process ion has arrived at the farm,there is pro

found silence— except fo r the barking o f savage dogs .The doors are c losed , and the place appears to be

deserted ; but even a hasty survey of the homestead

reveals the fact that preparations are being made for an

approaching fest ivity— chimneys and cauldrons are

smoking and long tables have been arranged in every

available place .

Long and loudly does the ambassador knock,unti l


at length there appears an envoy of the bride ’s fami ly .

This person , with a branch o f broom in his hand,

repl ies in verse,pointing to some neighbouring chateau,

where he assures the éarvalaa such a glorious train as

h is i s sure to find a welcome o n account of i ts un

paralleled splendour. But th is pol i te excuse is foreseen

the éawa/aa answers h is r ival,verse fo r verse

,com

pliment fo r compl iment,saying that they are i n search

of a j ewel more bri l l i ant than the stars,no t h idden

away in the e/z a‘teaa but h ere i n the farmhouse . Upon

thi s the fami ly envoy ret ires,and presently leads forth

an aged matron , and presents h er as the only j ewel

they have got . “ Of a truth ,

”

repl ies the ambassador,

“ a most respectable person ; but i t appears to us that

sh e i s past her festal t ime . We do not deny the meri t

o fgrey hair,espec ial ly when S i lvered by age and v irtue .

Butwe seek someth ing far more prec ious . The maidenwe demand is at least three t imes younger. T ry again ;

you cannot fai l to d iscover h e r from the splendour

which h er unparal leled beauty sheds around her ' ”

But even after th is i t i s no t correct to produce the

true bride ; so first the man brings an infant i n arms ,next a widow

,then a marr ied woman , and then one of

the bridesmaids . These candidates are al l rej ected

very pol i tely,so as no t to wound their feel ings , unti l

at last the dark—eyed blush ing bride i s led forth arrayed

in he r wedding dress . The bridegroom’s party then

enter the house ; the fami ly envoy , fall ing on h is

knees,slowly utters a Pater never for the l ivi ng and

a D e profuna’z

’

r fo r the dead , and asks the fami ly to


mendicants . When the d istance i s considerable , the

number of such barr iers i s often great ; but the

groomsman must pat ient ly remove each one , never

losing h is temper for a moment,and always l iberal ly

throwing the money .

After the rel igious ceremony comes the feast ; the

mult i tude of guests form a l ively and var iegated

p icture . The arrival of the newly—marr ied couple

from the church is announced by the fir ing ofmuskets ,and the sound of bagpipes pipers

,fid d lers , and single

st i ck players head the return ing process ion then come

the br ide and bridegroom,followed by relat ives and

guests . The neighbours who have stayed to help in

the cooking desert their posts and rush from the

kitchen , or the yard , where fires are burn ing , to watch

the arr ivals . Presently,when the confusion has

subs ided , the guests find their places at the long

narrow tables formed O f rough planks,supported by

stakes driven into the ground . They eat soup from

wooden bowls meat is cut up and eaten in the hand,

o r as they say , upon the thumb .

Beer and wine are served from rough earthenware

j ugs,and cups are shared . I t i s considered pol i te to

hand one ’s cup to a neighbour,so that he may ass ist

in emptying i t ; and a refusal would be considered

extremely rude . The bri degroom and his relat ions

wai t o n the ir guests,press ing each o ne to “ take care

o f himself. ” Compl iments are showered upon them,

and they drink from time to t ime the cups'

that are

offered to them . The feasting i s not continuous , but

BRITTANY 291

goes on at intervals . After each course the music i ans

play , and all r ise up from the tables . One party gets

up a wrestl ing match— for the Bretons are famous

wrestlers l ike the ir Corn ish brethren . O thers play at

s ingle- st i ck,or run races

,whi le some dance

,and beggars

partake ofwhat has been left o n the tab les .

Then games and dances g ive place to another course

of eat ing and drinking and so they cont inue t i ll mid

night .

I n some parts of Bri ttany the two tai lors , repre

sent ing the br ide and br idegroom respectively,hold

a quaint dialogue at the house of the br ide,to wh ich the

young man comes with h is fr iends on the wedding

day to demand hosp ital i ty . The lady ’s poet repl ies

that poss ibly the party are vagabonds,and had better

pursue their way . At last the man ’s poet declares the

real obj ec t of his v is i t and sets forth h is fr iend ’s good

qual i t ies . How he can plough as much in a day as

three h ired labourers . How he can set up a cart that

has been overturned ; what a champion he i s at

wrestl ing matches . The other one then dwells on the

lady’s good po ints,enumerat ing her many perfect ions of

body and mind .

“ She is as l ight and supple as

the blossom- covered branches O f the broom ,

”

Sec .

But,

”

he adds,

she has unfortunately left her father ’s

house ' Of course the br idegroom ’s man refuses to

bel ieve th is,and ins ists that the fair one must be

somewhere with in .

“ Young girls,

” he says,

“ are

made to grace the home of a husband . Do not drive

us to despair ! Lead h i ther the one rwh om we desire ,


and we wi l l place h er at the wedding feast near the

bridegroom,under the eyes o f her fr iends . ”

Among the Dutch peasants (Boers) a young man

goes court ing on a Sunday,being too busy on

'

other

days . He must cal l at the house where the young

woman l ives . Should her parents Offer h im a chair,

he may conclude that h is presence is welcome . The

elders then ret ire,leav ing h im to speak fo r himself.

I f, however , the young woman herself feels coldlytowards h im , she tel ls h im plainly to make for the

door, and there i s an end of the matter . In certain

parts ofHolland,when a youth takes a fancy to some

girl , he stands at the door of her house and asks fo r

a match to l ight h is p ipe . Should he repeat the v is i t,

her parents have no further doubt i n the ir own minds

that he intends to propose marr iage . On h is cal l ing

a th ird t ime they inform him whether h is sui t i s v iewed

with favour o r no . Should they be wi ll ing to accept

the lover for a son- in- law ,they ask h im in

,and the

match which he asked fo r i s g iven ; but if not he

must ret ire,and l ight the p ipe with a match from h is

own pocket .Those who are betrothed must enter their namesin a book at the Town Hall (Staci/mis ) at least a

couple ofweeks before the marriage,i n order to allow

any one who has the right to make an obj ect ion the

opportun i ty of doing so . The bride—elect and her

betrothed send o ut printed c irculars to their friends

and hold receptions at wh ich they themselves s i t in


In Belgium they pri nt their wedding invitations o n

a doub le sheet o f paper,one contain ing an invitat ion

from the parents of the br ide , the other from those o f the

bridegroom . These are paid fo r by the br idegroom,

but the bride has to prov ide the funds for the wedding

mass,the church decorat ions

,and beadles in splendid

uni form . The man and the woman are enthroned

before the al tar i n two big chairs wh il e the Mass

proceeds,the bride ’ s vei l being spread out beh ind her .

Certain acquaintances o f their respective fami l ies sit

with them as witnesses,and these are always the most

important people o f their acquaintance . An interest ing

feature in these marr iages is the col lection fo r the poor,

made by the bridesmaids,under the usher ’s escort .

The money is thrown to the beggars at the church

door as the marr iage party leaves the bui ld ing . The

happy pair usually take a dr ive in the park,and then

pay a visi t to the photographer. The wedding break

fast takes place at some hotel .

CHAPTER XXI

England and Wales

E have reserved our account of the customs of

our country to the end,i n order that the

reader may be in a better posi t ion to understand the

origin and meaning of those Observances whi ch have

been handed down from a more or less remote

an tiquity . There are more surv ivals in our present

marriage customs than one would think,as may be

shown by answering a few simple questions . Thus °

Who was the best man,

’ and what did he do ?” T o

answer this we must go back to the days of marriage

by capture , for , as has been shown by writers on

the history of marriage,the best man ” was the

fr iend or comrade who helped the bridegroom to

catch his bride . How few and simple are his duties

at the present day,compared with what these once

were They cal l for no special exert ion,and certain ly

are unattended with danger— if we except the danger

of fal l ing in love with a pretty bridesmaid . But in

those early days what might he no t have to do , from

murder downwards ? We may picture him prowling

round the hut,spear in hand

,eyes and ears alert

,to

295


see whether the coast were cl ear , and then with stone

axe,knife or c lub helping to keep the fami ly at bay

whi le his friend carried Off the damsel in spite of her

cri es .

N o r i s this the only rel i c of the most ancient of

human inst itut ions ; for what was the honeymoon ?I t was not merely a pleasure trip as now , but a rapid

and hurried fl ight o f brid e and bridegroom ,rendered

posi t ively necessary by the anger of an outraged father .

And so for at l east a month the newly-married couple

deemed it advisable to keep out Of his way . After

that t ime perhaps his wrath would have part ial ly

subsided , and then i t might be possible , by making

handsome presents,to reconci le him to the si tuat ion

,

and persuade him to accept afait aeeomplz’

.

I

Presents to the bridesmaids form another interesting

l ink with primeval days . They were original ly a form

of tol l,and we have described above the custom sti l l

exist ing in Central India , where Kurku girl s go through

the form of preventing the removal of the bride . They

pel t the young men— formerly the attacking party

with bal l s of boi led ri ce . Then they make a l ast stand

at the door of the house,and , final ly

,only suffer the

bridegroom to enter and take away his bride,after

paying tol l i n the form of presents al l round ; i n fact

they are bribed,and thei r resi s tance is more o r l ess

assumed fo r appearance sake . Throwing old shoes

after the bride and bridegroom on their going away

I T he No rs e fo r Marriage i s Quaa-faag, or w i fe -ca t c hi ng, andth e o ld G e rman Breit- loafti, o r brid e -rac i ng .


modesty (compare Arabia , Persia) . We can wel l

imagine that i n some countri es i t was the customfor brides to stand there a l ong time

,unti l at l ast the

impatient bridegrooms could wai t no longer,and put

an end to the delay by l ifting up their brides and

carrying them over.

The bride—cake,st i l l c ut by the bride ’s own hand ,

i s one of the most i nterest ing rel ics embedded in the

strange mosaic of our present marriage customs . As

t he reader who has fol lowed o ur previous accounts

wi l l have not i ced,the taking Of food o r drink together

by the contracting parties may be said to be the princi

pal , and sometimes the only ceremony among primi

t ive peoples . And st i l l i t has not died out with more

civi l ised races . The Jews drink the consecrated wine

Chinese take tea ; Japanese dr ink salez'

; Mal ays and

others eat betel nut,and so on . The anc ient Romans

had three forms of marriage,but the str i ctest was the

eonfarreazio, or eat ing together . I t was j ealously

restri cted to patri c ians and accompanied with awful

religious ri tes . Hence,in Europe

,the bride- cake

plays an important part at marriages .

The throwing of ri ce , wheat , or other seeds wasclearly symbol i c of fert i l i ty

,and expressive Of the

hope that the bride would in t ime be a happy mother

of chi ldren . Abundance may be a secondary meaning .

I t appears that,in the t ime ofEdward VI . , marriages

were performed in the church porch,and not in the

bui lding itself. Selten states that dower could be

SURV IVALS 299

lawful ly assigned only at the door,and another wri ter

says,

“ When he cometh to the church door to be

marr ied there,after afliance and troth pl ighted , he

end owe th the woman of his whole land,or of the half,

or other l esser part thereof,and there openly doth

declare the quantity and the certainty of the land she

shal l have for her dower . ” The reader wi l l eas i ly

perceive that the obj ect of formally invest ing a bride

with her endowments at the church door was that i t

might be a publ i c act witnessed by al l who chose to

assemble there . The custom is older than EdwardV I .

’

S t ime,for Chaucer , i n the t ime of Edward I I I . ,

makes the wife ofBath say

Hu sb ands a t churc h e doo r have I had five .

As in other countries,so i n England , there was

much j oyous feasting on the occasion of a wedding .

This i s clearly shown by the very word “ Bridal ,which i s s imply another form of “ Bride- ale ” (or

Bride- feast ) , the latter word being commonly appl ied

to a feast . Or iginal ly i t meant only the carousal,o r

drinking,i n honour of the bride and

,i ndeed

,br ide

is st i ll, in the C level and dialect of Yorksh ire ,

the word appl ied to the draught presented to the

wedding party on i ts return from church . There were

also “ Bid- ales,when the guests were “ bidden

,or

inv ited ; and Church—ales,

o r Church—feasts,not to

mention others .

ale

Publ i cans used to make a good deal of money by

these wedding—feasts . The amount of beer which

go o MARR IAGE CUSTOMS

other people might brew fo r a wedding was l imi ted

by l aw , so as to protect the publ i can .

In many countri es,as prev ious pages have shown

,

the neighbours made presents in kind,as co ntribu

t ions towards the expenses of a marriage . The same

custom prevai led in England .

Owen,in his Welsh D i ct ionary

,says

,The poor

people i n Wales have a marriage Of contr ibut ion, to

which every guest br ings a present of some sort of

provis ion,o r money

,to enable the newcouple to begin

the world . According to the same author i ty,i t was

customary fo r poor women newly marr ied to go to

farmers ’ houses to ask for cheese . In the North o f

England,after a publ i c wedding of the kind here

referred to,presents continued to come in for some

days . The value of al l the various contributions was

somet imes as much as £ 206 . A servant girl wh ohad been with the same mistress for seven years

, wasentitled upon her marriage to a copper kettle holding

from four to six gal lons . I f a young couple were very

poor,they sent round a cart (wain) and horse to

the ir friend s to beg o f them corn o r whatever they

could give . The corn was often used to sowthe first

crop . This explains the word Bride-wain .

”

About a hundred years ago i t was st i l l usual to

celebrate a marriage with “ open house,to which all

the inhab itants of the distri ct were bidden . The

county of Cumberland was special ly famous fo r theseBidden Weddings . The inv itat ion took the form


fortunate enough to reach the pole first,and knock

down the cake with hi s sti ck,had the honour of

receiving i t,from the hands of a damsel

,on the point

of a wooden sword . With this trophy he returned to

meet the bride and her attendants , wh o ,on arrival

,was

presented with a posy Of flowers,while others decorated

with garlands the horses ’ head s . Sometimes , instead of

racing for the br ide—cake,the young men engaged in a

trial Of strength,and threw heavy bars of iron . This

game or contest was known as throwing the quintal . ”

Yorkshire men used to run a race in front of the house

where the feast'

was held , and the Vi ctor cl aimed a kissfrom the bride . I n some parts of Essex the bride used

to take a seat near a table , h er husband standing by her

side whi le the guests came up in turn and gave presents

ofmOney, the piper exhorting them to be l iberal . Who

ever gave the most received a pair of gloves,with a

ribbon attached,and could claim a kiss from the br ide .

According to the fol lowing o ld rhyme the middle of

the week was the best day for gett ing married ; and thelast three days were considered unlucky .

M o nday for we a l th,

T u e sday for he a l th,

Wedne sday th e be s t day of a l lThursday fo r cro s se s

,

Fri day fo r lo s se s,

Sa t u rday no l uc k a t a l l .

I n some parts Of Lancashire a man must never go

courting o n Friday,and i f he is caught with his sweet

heart o n that day he i s fol lowed home by a noisy band


we go back a l itt le further , i t wi l l be found that the

pract ice was formerly no t very uncommon . An old

Devonshire farmer once thus addressed the friends

assembled to celebrate an ann iversary of his wedding“ I guv three pun

’ ten for my M issus three and thirty

years ago th is very day , and I wouldn’t take i t for her

now ! ” In the year 1744 , the second Duke of

Chandos bought his second wife from her husband,an

ostl er in Newbury,who was Offering her for sale as the

Duke passed through the town

The strange custom whereby a condemned criminal

could be saved from death by marri age once prevai led

in England and France . Earl y in the seventeenth

century,an Engl ish bal l ad celebrated the story of a

merchant,born at Chichester

,wh o was saved from

hanging by a gal l ant maiden,who married him at the

place of execution . In 172 5 a widow peti tioned KingGeorge I .

,Offering to marry a man under the gal lows i f

a repri eve should be granted to him . I n the United

States simi lar cases were no t unknown . We have no t

been able to ascertain the date o f the last case of this

kind in England .

According to Pinkerton,a certain cr iminal preferred

death to marriage at the foot of the gallows .

I The

event was thus recorded in rhyme !

The re wa s a v i c t im i n a c artO ne day fo r to b e hang

’

d,

And h i s repri e ve wa s gran ted ,And th e c art made fo r to s tand .

Se e B rown i ng’s M uc k lc -Mo u thed M eg fo r a s imi l ar ta l e .

ENGLAND 305

Come,marry a w i fe

,and save yo ur l ife ,

’

T h e j udge a l o u d d id cry.

O h,why shou ld I c o rrup t my l ife ?

T h e vi c t im d id rep ly .

For here ’s a crowd of e ve ry sort ,And why shou ld

.I preve n t t he ir sport

T h e barga i n ’s bad i n eve ry part ,T h e w i fe ’s th e wors t— dri ve on th e c art .

In the year 172 5 i t i s recorded that n ine youngwomen

,dressed in whi te

,each with a white wand in

her hand,presented a petit ion to his Maj esty

George I . on behalf of a young man condemned at

Kingston for burglary,one of whom offered to marry

him under the gallows .

One cannot help feel ing that there is something to

be said for this “ ancient and laudable custom,

although its revival in the present day would not be

desirable . Nevertheless i t Showed a bel ief in the

redeeming power of a good woman,so wel l i l lustrated

by the story O fT annhaiiser.

I t i s di ffi cul t to bel ieve that the disgraceful and

often fict i t ious marriages called “ Fleet Weddings

were made less than a hundred and fifty years ago .

They take their name from the Fleet Prison,where

many of the couples were united,the offi ciat ing parsons

being disreputable and dissolute men,often prisoners

for debt,who were w i l l ing

,for the sake of a fee

,to

unite any persons i n marriage at a moment ’s not i ce .

They asked no i nconvenient questions,only st ipulat ing

for so much payment in money , or a given quantity of2 1


l iquor wherewith to drink the health of those whom

they thus unlawful ly j oined together . I t was by nomeans a rare thing for the parson , bridegroom ,

and

bride al l to be in a state of intoxicat ion whi le the

ceremony took place . These disgraceful members of

the sacred call ing had their plyers,

” who addressed

men and women as they passed along the streets,

asking them whether they wanted a parson to marry

them . One of the most notor ious of these scandalous

o ffi cials was a man of the name of George Keith,a

Scotch minister,who se t up a marr iage offi ce in May

Fair,and subsequently in the Fleet . H is business i n

this l ine became so extensive and scandalous that the

Bishop ofLondon found it advisable to excommunicate

him . One morning during the Whitsunt ide hol idays

he and his “ j ourneyman ” uni ted a greater number

of couples than had been married at any ten

churches within the bi l ls of mortal i ty . The man

was a bare- faced profligate , but l ived to the age ofeighty—nine years . Many of the earl y Fleet weddings

were real ly,as a matter of fact

,performed at the

Chapel O f the Fleet Pri son . But,

as the practi ce

extended , i t was found more convenient to have other

places “ within the rules ’ and thereupon many of

the Fleet parsons and tavern- keepers in the neighbour

hood fi tted up rooms in their respective lodgings , or

houses , as a Chapel . The parsons took the fees,

al lowing a port ion to their plyers and the tavern

keepers,besides shari ng in the money paid

,derived a

p rofit from the sal e of l iquors which they suppl ied at


been married several years before ! Entries could be

obl i terated for a fee ! Sham bridegrooms,under

di fferent names,were married many times over

chi ldren born out of wedlock could be made

apparently legitimate .

All kinds of peopl e flocked to these unholy places

runaway sons and daughters of peers,Irish adventurers

and ri ch but fool ish widows,footmen and decayed

beauties,soldiers and servant girl s

,boys in their teens ,

and young heiresses brought thi ther by force and com

pe lled , against their wil l s , to be brides . The parson

wh o solemnised an irregular marriage was l iab le to afine

,but such a penal ty had no terrors for a man

who was already in the Fleet Prison . The evi l wasabol ished at last by making these irregular marriages

inval id .

Many of the churchwardens and overseers of that

day were in the habi t of gett ing up marriages between

paupers i n order to throw the burden of their rel ief o n

other parishes . The Daily Pair of July 4 ,174 1 ,

reported the fol lowing case On Saturday last the

churchwardens for a certain parish in the ci ty,in order

to remove a load from their own shoulders,gave forty

shi l l ings,and paid the expense Of a Fleet marriage

,to

a miserable bl ind youth,who plays on the Viol in in

Moorfi elds,i n order to make a sett lement of the wife

and future family in Shoreditch parish . To secure

their point , they sent a parish O flicer to see the

ceremony performed . One cannot but admire the

ungenerous proceeding of this ci ty parish , as wel l as

SOCIETY O F FR IENDS 309

thei r unj ust ifiable abetting and encouraging an irregularity so much and so j ust ly complained of as these

Fleet matches . Invi ted,and uninvited

,were a great

number of poo r wretches,in order to spend the bride ’s

parish fortune . ”

I n the Society of Friends,or Q uakers , a wedding is

conducted with the greatest simpl ic i ty,as wil l be seen

from our reproduct ion of an excel lent picture exhibi ted

in the Royal Acad emy , 1 896 , by our friend Mr . PercvBigland (himse lf a Q uaker) , who has kindly al lowed usto engrave i t . Marriages are only entered into after

much careful consideration,and with a due sense of the

importance and solemnity of the contract . They

mostly marry among themselves,

“ outside ” marriages

being discouraged . The Friends ’ Book of Christian

D iscipline contains the fol lowing inj unction

Friends are advised against running into excessive ,sumptuous

,or costly entertainments at marr iage

dinners ; a great part of the cost of whi ch would be

better employed in rel ieving the necessi t ies of the poor . ”

Friends intending to marry declare their intent ion

at the monthly meeting of which they are members ,the parents or guardians declaring their consent

,i f

present,o r

,i f absent

,sending a signed cert ificate to

the effect that their consent has been given . The

meeting then appoints two men and two women toinquire i f the contracting parties are free from other

marriage engagements,&c . I f no impediment appear

,

then a subsequent monthly meeting grants the part ies


leave to enter the married state . Marriages are

solemnized at a usual week- day meeting , and at the

meeting-house to which the woman belongs . There is

no further ceremony than is here described . After

the meeting has been held a seasonable t ime , the part ies

are to stand up,and

,taking each other by the hand

,to

declare i n an audible and solemn manner to the

fol l owing effect ; the man first,viz . :

‘Friends , I take

tbis my friend D .E . to be my wife , promising tbrougli

d ivine assistance,to be unto lier a loving and faitbful

busband,until it slzall please tbe Lord by death to

separate us’ and then the woman in l ike manner

,

Friends , I take tlz is my friend AB . to be my busband ,

promising tbrougb d ivine assistance,to be unto bim a

loving and faitlzful wife , until it sball please the Lord

by d eatlz to separate us .

’

The parties also S ign a certificate,and so do the

witnesses . .There are certain other rules laid down

among Friends with regard to marriage,for example

,

that engagements may not be broken,as their Book of

Chri stian D i scipl ine says : “ And further,that such

friends as have with serious advice,due del iberat ion

,and

free and mutual consent,absolutely agreed

,espoused

,

o r contracted upon the account of marriage,Shall not

be al lowed,or owned amongst us

,i n any unfaithfulness

o r i nj ustice one to another,to break o r Violate any such

contract or engagement : whi ch i s to the reproach of

truth,or inj ury one of another . And where any such

inj ury,breach or violat ion of such solemn contract is

known or complained o f we advise and counsel

JEW S 3 1 1

that a fewfai thful friends,both men and women

,i n

their respect ive meetings to which the part ies belong,

be appointed to inquire into the cause thereof, and t o

report to a succeeding monthly meeting the resul t of

their inquiry,that i t may use i ts discret ion as to the

due exercise of the discipl ine in the case . And , further ,we advise and exhort that no engagements made w i th

out honest endeavours to obtain,o r due regard first had

to , the counsel and consent O f parents,relations

,and

friends , be countenanced ; that so all fool ish and un

bridled affect ions,and all ensnaring and selfish end s ,

be not so much found among us on any hand .

”

Parents are to discourage the marriage of thei r

chi ldren outside the society . Those that are married

by a priest, o r i n any manner contrary to the estab

lished rules of the said society,are to be deal t wi th

“ i n the spiri t of Christi an tenderness,agreeably to our

known discipl ine ; al l fri ends are also earnestly be

sought to prevent such marriages,and parents o r

guardians permitting or encouraging them are to

undergo the d i scipl ine of the society . Parents ,guardians

,overseers and elders are l ikewise ex

ho rted to check among young people al l desire to

form connex ions outside the society,which so often lead

to the solemnization of marriage by a priest, whi ch , as

being a Viol ation of our testimony against a h irel ing

ministry we,as a people

,have always bel i eved

i t our duty to testify against .

With the Jews there are considerable di fferen ces i n


the ways in which marr iages are celebrated in the

di fferent countries where they are nowto be found ,and the fol l owing descript ion deals only with

Jewish marriages as they are celebrated in London

of to—day . I t was the author ’ s good fortune towitness recently a marri age in the New West End

Synagogue,and his thanks are due

,not only to the

Chief Rabbi,Dr . Herman Adler

,for his courteous in

vitation , but also to the Rev . J . L . Geffen , of the NewWest End Synagogue

,for his kind help in giving the

information necessary for th i s brief account .

Jewish marr iages are solemnized between the hours

o f 1 and 4 p m . the bride and bridegroom on that day

partaking of no food o r drink . Unti l quite recently ,the marri age ceremony was preceded by the ordinaryd ai ly afternoon servi ce but now th is i s d iscarded , and

the servi ce begins wi th the chanting by the reader and

choi r of the fol lowing verses from the Psalms .

How goodly are thy tents,O Jacob Thy dwel l ing

places,O I srael . (Numb . xxiv .

“ Lord,I love the habitat ion of Thy house , and the

place where Thy glory dwel l eth . (Psa. xxvi .

I n front of the reading desk i s pl aced the canopy o r

clzuppalz , supported by four s lender posts and beaut i

ful ly decorated with whi te flowers and green leaves .

Here the bridegroom wai ts wh ile the reader pronounces

the three fol l owing verses .“ Blessed be he that cometh in the name of the

Lord : we bl ess you out Of the house of the Lord .

”

(Psa. cxvi i i . )


the bride to drink . T o do this,she l ifts up the bride ’s

l ong white diaphanous vei l whi ch covers her head and

most of her dress . And now the wedding r ing is pro

duced and placed by the bridegroom on the forefinger

of the bride ’s right hand,while he makes the fol lowing

declarat ion .

“ Behold thou art consecrated unto me by

this ring,according to the l aw ofMoses and of Israel .

Next,the marri age—contract i s read out by one o f the

o fficiat ing ministers,first i n Hebrew and then in Engl ish

— it was signed before the service began by both the

bridegroom and officiating min isters . A contract

of this kind reads as fol lows

On this

Hebrew month

day Of the week,on

in the

ofmarriage was entered into in London between the

bridegroom A . and the bride B . The said bridegroom

made the fol lowing decl aration to his bride . Be thou

day of the

year,

1 the holy covenant

my wife,according to the l aw of Moses and of Israel .

I faithful ly promise that I wi l l be a true husband unto

thee,l wil l honour and cherish thee

,

- I wil l work for

thee,I wi l l protect and support thee

,I wi l l provide

al l that i s necessary fo r thy due sustenance,even as i t

be se eme th a Jewish husband to do . I also take upon

myself al l such further obl igat ions fo r thy maintenance,

during thy l ifet ime,as are prescribed by our rel ig ious

statutes And the said bride has pl ighted her troth

unto him in affection and sinceri ty,and has thus taken

upon hersel f the fulfi lment of al l the dut ies in cumbent

1 T h e pre sen t ye ar 1897i s re c ko n ed as th e year 5 6 57, from th e

s uppo sed dat e of th e Creat io n of th e wo rld .

WALES 3 I 5

upon a Jewish wife . This covenant O f marriage was

duly executed and wi tnessed this day , according to the

usage of I srael . ”

The cup i s refil led , and the last seven blessings are

read,after which the goblet is again given to the br ide

and bridegroom,who drink from it as before . The

glass having been placed on the ground,the bridegroom

shatters i t into many pieces by stamping on i t with his

foot . This breaking of the glass is an important piece

of symbol ism,for i t i s meant as a sad reminder to al l

present of Z ion ’s shattered crown of glory . Mr .

Geffen informs the writer that for the same reason

decorations in private houses,as wel l as in the Syna

gogue,are always left incomplete in some way

,signi

fying that there can be no perfect rej oicing , no t even

on the happiest occasions i n l i fe,so long as Z ion is

unrestored to Israel . The minister then pronounces

the benedict ion from Numbers Vi . 24— 2 6 . The service

concludes wi th the singing by the choir O fPsalm cl.

In Wales,the ancient fest ivi t ies connected with

marriage were sti l l retained some forty or fifty years

ago ; but since the introduct ion of rai lways into quiet

mountainous distri cts many changes in manners and

customs have taken place . The day having been fixed,

bidding papers were despat ched to friends al l round

the country side . The squire was sure to find one on

his table,and usual ly responded by a l iberal subscript ion .

The feastwas held at the bride ’s home,i n most cases .

When she appeared in bridal costume among the


assembled guests,friends proceeded to hide her away ,

so that the bridegroom might have some difficul ty in

finding h er thiswas part of the fun . Then the four or

five groomsmen ad vanced to the house—door , and o n be

half O f their fri end,demand ed the bride from her father ,

and her spokesmen made reply,thus reminding one of

the cur ious l i tt le scene that takes place i n Brittany . Al l

the stock ofwit possessed by either partywas exhausted ,

unti l , amid much laughter , the claimants were admitted

and began their search . Sometimes she was so wel l

hidden that i t was nearl y noon and yet they had not

found her ! Thiswas serious,because i t would be too

late after twelve O ’clock (the law was only altered a few

years ago) . A fri end then came forward to act as a

guide,

and h er discovery was announced with loud

acclamations .

In some parts i t was the custom to ride ful l speed

to the church . Thus Malkin I says,

“ I ll may it

befal the travel ler who has the misfortune of meet ing

a Welsh wedding party on the road . He would be

incl ined to suppose that he had fal len in with a company

of l unatics escaped from their confinement . I t i s the

custom o f the whole party who are invited , both menand women

,to ride full- speed to the church- porch ; and

the person who arrived there first,has some privi lege

o r distinction at the marriage feast . To this important

Object,al l inferior considerations give way

,whether the

safety of his Maj esty ’s subj ects who are not going to bemarried

,o r their own ,

be incessantly endangered by1 u To u r i n So u th Wal e s

,G lamorgan sh ire , ” p . 67.

CHAPTER XXII

Scotland

HE Old Scottish custom o f the Penny Wedding

has been thus described “When there was amarriage of two poor people who were esteemed by

any of the neighbouring gentry,they agreed among

themselves to meet and have a dance upon the occasion,

the result O fwhich was a handsome donation,i n order

to assist the new-married couple in their outset i n

l i fe . ” 1

Another writer says A Penny Wedding is when

the expense of the marriage entertainment is not de

frayed by the young couple , or their relations , but by a

cl ub among the guests . Two hundred people , Of both

sexes,wi l l sometimes be convened on an occasion Of

this kind .

”2

I n the same work the M inister Of M o nquitter,

speaking of the t ime of “our fathers

,Observes

“ Shrove Tuesday , Valentine Eve , the Rood-day , &c . ,

were accompanied by pastimes and practi ces congenial

to the youthful and ignorant mind . The market-place

I Tbe Gentleman’s Magaz ine, 1874.

2 S tat i s t i c a l Ac co un t of Sc o t l and , vo l . i v . 86

SCOTLAND 3 19

was to the peasant what the drawing—room is to the

peer,the theatre of show and of consequence . The

scene,however

,which involved every amusement and

every j oy of an idle and i ll i terate age was a Penny

Br idal . When a pair were contracted they,for a

stipulated considerat ion,bespoke their wedding at a

certain tavern,and then ranged the country in every

direct ion to sol i ci t guests . One , two , and even three

hundred would have convened on these occasions to

make merry at their own expense for two or more

days . This scene of feast ing,drinking

,dancing

,

wooing , fighting,&c .

,was always enj oyed wi th the

highest rel ish,and , unt i l obl i terated by a simi lar scene ,

furnished ample materials for rural mirth and rural

scandal . But now the Penny Bridal is reprobated as

an index of want of money and of want of taste . The

market—place is general ly occupied by people of busi

ness . Athlet i c amusements are confined to schoolboys .

Dancing , taught by i t inerant masters , cards , and con

versat ion,are the amusements now in vogue ; and the

pleasures of the table,

!

enl ivened by a moderate glass,

are frequent ly enj oyed i n a sui table degree by peopl e of

every class . 1

Of the parish of Avoch , co . Ross,i t i s said

Marriages in this p lace are general ly conducted i n

the style of Penny Weddings . L i t t le other fare is

provided except bread , ale , and whisky . The relat ives,

wh o assemble in the morning , are entertained with adram and a drink grat is . But

,after the ceremony is

I S tat i s t i c a l Ac c o u n t of S co t land,

”vo l. x x i . 146 .


performed,every man pays for his drink . The neigh

bours then convene in great numbers . A fiddler or

two,with perhaps a boy to scrape on an old V ioloncel lo

,

are engaged . A barn is al lotted for the dancing,and

a house for drinking ; and thus they make merry for

two o r three days , t i l l Saturday night . On Sabbath ,after returning from church

,the married couple give a

sort of dinner or entertai nment to'

the present friends

o n both sides : so that these weddings , on the whole ,bring l itt le gain or loss to the part ies . ” I

Jamieson,i n his Etymological D i ct ionary , quotes an

Act Of the General Assembly,I 3th February , 1 64 5 ,

for the restraint of Pennie Brydals .

The fol l owing account,taken from a story 2 publ ished

in the earl ier part of the present century,wil l give the

reader a fair idea of the way i n which a PennyWedding used to be celebrated in Scotl and °

Johnny Stewart first saw Jeannie Buie at the kirk ,when she excited l ively emotion within him . He after

wards met her at E lgi n fair,and gave her a bumper of

drink , while her master was discussing the price of catt le .

He sawher a mile or two on the road home that night .The next year i t was arranged they should be marriedwhen Martinmas came round .

Jeannie l eft her place on Whitsunday so that she

might have t ime to spin her wool for blankets,and l int

for sheets,before she got married . Three weeks before

the wedding the bride and bridegroom went the round

1 “ S tat i s t i c a l A c co u n t of S co t land,

vo l. x v. 6 36 .

2 “ T h e P enny Wedd ing, by J ohn Gran t . Ed in burgh,1836


the “ march of intel lect . This being stopped,they

drank “ the health of the King— God bless him,and

after a final glass ofGl enl ivet the company separated .

On the wedding morning Jeannie packed her

wardrobe in a chest,and a cart was l oaded with her

belongings . The bride ’s party set out after breakfast

for the manse , where the ceremony was to be per

formed .

One of the young men , who escorted the bride ,carried a bott le of whiskey

,out of which he must fi l l a

glass for the first person the party met on their way ;th is person— cal led “ the First Foot ” - must also turn

back and walk a mile or so with the wedd ing party , be

his business never so urgent .

The bridegroom ’s party was wait ing at the manse,

and the wedding took place without delay . Both

parties mixed,and proceed ed to Fallowlea, the home of

the young couple,the bagpiper playing She ’s woo ’d an ’

married an ’ and the company singing the song on

their way . At the cross-roads numerous people j o ined the

party,for many intended being present at the wedding .

When they arrived at the cottage the grandmother

threw a number of pieces of bride- cake over the young

couple ’s heads,

“ as a token that Jeannie Stewart waswel come to a house w ith plenty in it . ” Just before she

entered the house a l ad came up , cl aimed and took a

kiss from the brid e , to which he had a good right , as

he had been successful “ in running for the Ki les .”

For when the company were about 200 yards from the

house,a number of young men started to run to

SCOTLAND 323

the house,and whoever reached the homestead first ,

c laimed the kiss .

The bride then took her place at the head of the

table among her relat ions ; the rest of the company

took their dinner in the barn . The fid d lers fiddled

away during the meal to their hearts ’ content , and

when i t was over two decent middle—aged men went

round,one with a glass of whiskey for every person

,

and the other with a basin to receive the shi l l ing that

each paid as the price of the meal .

Then the bridegroom led out the bride to the

green,and they

,with another l ad and lass

,danced the

Shamit Reel ” before the company . This reel wascal l ed the Shamit because i t was considered that

i t would take away the bashfulness und er which the

bride laboured before so many people .

Dancing was kept up in the house and barn withgreat spiri t unt i l the even ing for every l ad that chose

to give a bawbee to the fid d lers could have what

tune he l iked played a dozen times over . When the

fidd lers made a pause the lads cried “ kissing t ime,i t

being the custom that every lad should then kiss h is

partner . They kissed one another right heart i ly and

made the roof and rafters dirl with the sound .

At twelve the bride went to bed,and after a short

t ime had elapsed her husband entered the room accom

panied by a noisy troop of friends . She then threw

her stocking in the air , and al l present scrambled to

clutch i t , for the Virtue in the stocking was , that whoever gained possession of i t would be the first to be


married . The best man presented whiskey to the

married coupl e and the company,and then al l departed ,

the best man locking the door O f the bed room . The

rest of the party kept up dancing unt i l six o’

clock .

At nine o ’clock next morning the married couple were

presented with a g lass of whiskey before they got up .

During the next two days the dancing was kept up ,and on Sunday about forty couples accompanied the

bride and bridegroom to church .

I t may be mentioned here that,at Scotch country

weddings , no t very l ong ago , the bridegroom’s men

and others ran , as in Wales , straight from the church

to the bride ’s house,in order to see who could first

bring the intel l igence that she had been duly married .

Nor was the feat without danger,for in every vi l lage

where they might be expected the young men were

received with shots from p istols and guns,and i f any

men stumbled,

or were somehow upset , there wasgreat merriment . At the brid e

’s house a bowl of

broth was prepared for the winner of the race .

Hence the expression “ running for the brose I t

appears that sometimes these races took place on

horseback . A Scotch newspaper, Tbc Courier , of

January 1 6, 1 81 3 , records a case in which a young

lady came in first : “ Immediately after the marriage ,four men of the bride ’s company started for the

broos,from Mauchl ine to Whitehal l , a distance of

thirteen miles ; and when o ne Of them was sure of

the prize , a young lady , who had started after they

were a quarter of a mile off,outstripped them al l ,

CHAPTER XXII I

I reland

MONG the peasants in many parts of Ireland the

match-maker conducts al l matrimonial prel imin

aries,both affairs of the heart

,

” where the messages

she conveys are dictated by true love,and affairs

fostered by calculat ing parents,who consult rather

their chi ldren ’s interest than their i ncl ination .

The most successful match-makers are mid -wives

and cosherers . T h e cosherer is a very respectable

and wel l- treated female vagabond . She goes from the

house of one relation to that of another,and is always

ho spitablv received . She sews,kni ts , retai l s the news ,

tel l s Old stories and (i ncidental ly) doctors the chi ldren .

T he “ senachi e is the male counterpart of the

cosherer,but infinitely her inferior i n the art of

mat ch -making ; he concerns himself chiefly in pro

ph’

e cy and genealogies . Mr . Carleton,the novel ist

,

knew a cosherer (by name Mary Murray) who washighly successful in the task of match-making , whi ch

indeed requires astuteness of no common order,and a

fine instin ct for a bargain,so shrewd and provident are

the I rish in the matter of marriage . Many a t ime

IRELAND 327

have marriages been broken off,because one party

refuses to give his son “ a sli p of a pig,or

another his daughter “ a pair of blankets and i t

was no unusual th ing for the match—maker to say ,“ Never mind ; I have i t al l settled but the sl ip .

”

Mary Murray often met a young girl quite ac

cid entally, and in the course of conversation would

br ing in the o ne important subj ec t— in th is fashion .

C irra,Biddy Sull ivan

,how are you, a- col l een

Faix,bravely

,thank you

,Mary . How is yourself?

I ndeed,thin sorra a bi t 0

’ the health we can

complain of,barrin ’ whin this pain in the back comes

upon us . The last t ime I seen your mother , Biddy ,she was complain in ’ of a weid (bad cold) . I hopeshe ’s betther

,poor woman ?”

“ Hut bad scran to the thing that ai l s her ! She

has as l ight a foot as e ’er a one of us,an ’ can

dance ‘Jackson ’s mornin’ brush as wel l as ever she

could .

“ T hro th,an ’ I ’m proud to hear i t . O ch ! och !

‘Jackson ’s mornin’ brush and i t was she that

could do i t . Sure I remimber her wedding—day l ike

yestherd ay an ’ how the Squire h imself an ’ the

ladies from the Big House came down to see herself

an ’ your father , the bride and groom ,dancin ’ the

same ‘Jackson ’s mornin’ brush ! ’ An ’ i s there

no news wid you , at al l , at al l ?

The sorra word , Mary ; where’

ud I get news ?

Sure i t ’s yoursel f that always on the fut (foot) that

ought to have the news for us,woman al ive .


An ’ maybe I have too . I was spaik in’ to a

friend 0’ mine about you the other day .

“ A friend 0’ yours

,Mary ! Why what friend

could i t be ?“ A friend 0

’ mine— ay, an’ o ’ yours too . Maybe

you have more fr iends than you think , Bidd y

an ’ fri ends that e ’er a girl in the parish might be

proud to hear named in one day wid her . Awouh“ Bedad we ’re in l uck

,thin Cen ’ who may

these great fr iends of ours be , Mary ?”

“ Faix,as dacent a boy as ever broke bread the

same boy is,

‘and,

’ says he , ‘if I had goold in

bushelfuls,I ’d think i t too l i ttl e for that g ir l ’ ;

‘I’

m afeard,

’ says he,

‘that she’d put scorn

upon me,an ’ not think me her aiquals

’ Poor

boy ! thro th my heart aches for him !

Well,can ’ t you fal l i n love wid him yoursel f

,

Mary,whoever he is ?

“ Indeed,an ’ i f I was at your age , i t would be

no shame to me to do so,but the sorra

often ever the l ikes of Paul Heffernan came acrass

me .

“ Paul Heffernan ! I s that your beauty ? If i t

is,why, keep him and make much of him .

“ Oh wurrah ! the differ there is between thehearts an ’ tongues of some people Wel l , wel l ,I ’m sure that wasn ’ t the way he spoke of you

,

Biddy , an’

God forgive you fo r runnin’ down the

poor boy as you ’re doin ’

“Who ? me ? I ’m no t runnin’ him down . I am


the tears standin ’ i n her purty black eyes , I thought

I didn ’t see a be tther favoured girl , for both face

and figure , this many a day , than the same Biddy

Sul l ivan .

”

Biddy Sul l i van ! I s that long Jack’s daughter of

Carga ?“ The same . But Paul

,avi ck

,i f a syl l able 0

’

what I tould you

Hut,Mary honour bright D O you think me a

stag,that I ’d go and inform on you ?

Fwishper, Paul : She’ l l be at the dance on Friday

next in Jack Gormby’

s new house Think 0’

what I bethrayed to you .

Thus did Mary very quiet ly and sagaciously bind

two young hearts together, who probably might other

wise have never for a moment thought of each other .

Of course,when Paul and Biddy met at the dance on

Friday , the o ne was the obj ect of the closest attention

to the other ; and each being prepared to witness

strong proofs of attachment from the opposite party,

everything fel l out according t o their expecta

tions .

As a rule Mary was received everywhere with

the greatest kindness and hospital i ty . Every one

knew that what she did,she did always for the

best ; and i f some smal l bits Of execrat ion were

occasional ly l eve l l ed at her,i t was not more than

the part i es level led at each other . All marriages

cannot be happy ; and indeed i t was a creditableproof of Mary Murray’s sagaci ty

,that so few of

IRELAND 33 1

those effected through her instrumental i ty were un

fortunate .

I

According to Mr . Arthur Young , 2 there was a verystrange custom in the interior of Ireland last century .

A number of country neighbours among the poor

people fixed o n some young woman that ought , as

they thought,to be married ; they also agreed upon

a young fel low as a proper husband for her . This

determined,they sent to the fair one ’s cab in to inform

her that on the Sunday fol lowing she was to be

horsed,that i s

,carried on men ’s backs . She must

then provide whiskey and cider for a treat,as al l would

pay her a Visit after mass,for a hurl ing match? As

soon as she was horsed the hurl ing began , i n which

the young man appointed for her husband had the eyes

of al l the company fixed on him ; i f he came Off con

queror, he was certainly married to the girl ; but ifanother was victorious

,he most certain ly lost h e r

,for

she was the prize of the vi ctor .

I f a young woman ’s fiance’

dies i t i s a common

pract ice among the peasantry fo r her to solemnly

give back her promise .

” We had given o ne

another a band—promise,

” said an O ld woman , speak

ing of her dead lover,

“ and I had to go , when he

was dead,an ’ take him by the right hand afore

witness,to give back my promise .

A bel ief . in the fairi es,once so prevalent

,st i l l

1 Charac teri s t i c S k e t c he s of Ire l and and th e Iri sh,by Wm .

C arl e to n . 1845 .

2 Yo ung,

“ To ur i n Ire l and, 1798.


l ingered on i n some parts of the country not long

ago . As an example o f this kind of folk—l ore , we

may mention here that the country people used to say

that if a man,at his marriage

,unbuttoned one button

of the right knee,the fair ies could not harm him in

any way .

I n some parts of Ireland,the “ Mul le t of Mayo

,

for i nstance,there is a strange survival

,namely , the

wedding dance with a straw mask,and in parts of

Leitrim with a straw petti coat . On this subj ect the

author consulted the Rev . W . S . Green , an authori ty

o n these matters,who writes from Dubl in Castle as

fol lows : “ The Wedding Masks to which you refer

are used by the Strawboys ,’ or C lagheras , at weddings .

A gang of nine v isits the home in the evening of the

wedding . The ‘captai n ’ dances with the bride , and

the others with the other girl s . They leave in a short

t ime,and another gang arrives . I t i s un lucky i f their

identi ty i s recognised . I n the west o f this county it i s

st i l l much in vogue,but dying out in other parts . I

have heard th at a simi lar custom exists in Wexford .

Masks of straw are sometimes used on other occasions ,such as Saints ’ Days .

As a good example of Irish humour we subm i t the

following story“ Though the Irish are so prone i n general to early

and improvident marriages,no people are closer in

their nuptial barter when they are i n a condit ion to

make marriage a profitable contract . Repeated meet

i ngs between the elders of famil ies take place , and acute


The ancient custom o f seizing wives by force and

carrying them Off had no t died out towards the end

o f l ast century . A remarkable instance occurred in

the year 1767. A Kilkenny farmer’s son,being

refused a neighbour ’ s daughter of only twelve years

of age,took an opportunity of running away with

her ; but , being pursued , the girl was brought backand married by her father to a l ad of fourteen . But

her former lover , determining no t to l ose her,procured

a party of armed men and besieged the house of his

rival . I n the fight which took place her father was

shot dead,and several of the besiegers mortal ly

wounded,and so the would -be husband ret ired with

out his prize .

CHAPTER XXIV

Tbe Gipsies and tbe M ormons

IN Spain

,a gipsy girl i s generally betrothed at the

age of fourteen to a youth chosen by her parents,

and the marriage takes place two years after . During

the period of betrothal they must never appoint a

rendezvous at a distance , or converse wi th one another

save as mere acquaintances . The wedding fest ival is

a very cost ly affair , the bridegroom often involving

himsel f i n d ifliculties for l i fe i n order to provide an

entertainment worthy of the occas ion . In that country

they are very stri ct wi th their daughters , and any

lapse from v irtue on the part of a betrothed girl may

be punished wi th death .

‘

Mr . George Borrow,who

witnessed a marriage at a church , thus describes what

fol lowed .

“When the wedding party returned,sing

ing and dancing began . Sweatmeats nearly a ton in

weight strewed the room to a depth o f three inches .

The bride and bridegroom began to dance on them,

the company fol lowed suit . To convey a sl ight idea

of the scene,i s almost beyond the power of the words .

I n a fewminutes the sweatmeats were reduced to a

335


powder, or rather to a mud

,and the dancers were

soiled to the knees with sugar,fruit

,and yolk of eggs .

Sti l l more terrific became the lunati c merriment . The

men sprang high into the air,neighed

,brayed and

crowed ; whilst the G i tanas snapped their fingers in

their own fashion louder than the castanets . ”

In o ne corner an old convi ct gipsy produced demo

niacal sounds from a gui tar . The fest ivi ties lasted

three days .

The g ipsies in some parts of the cont inent have a

curious custom . The chief breaks a pi tcher crowned

wi th flowers,and from the fragments foretel l s the for

tune of the bridal pair .

According to Mr . C . G . Leland and o thers,I the most

valuable gifts are contributed by the g irls,probably

i n order to show that they are not qui te penni less .

They will hide money they have earned and bake it

in a cake,which

,at some fitt ing opportun i ty they

throwover the hedge to their lovers . A Romany songsays

“ I to ld a lady’s fortu n eIn tha t b ig ho u se hard by

N o gip sy cou ld have do ne i t ,M o re c l e ve rly than I .

I promised tha t she ’d marry,A lo rd w i th he ap s ofgo ld

Sh e fil l e d my hands w i th s i l ve r,A s mu ch as I c o u ld ho l d .

”

The fol lowing l ines al lude to the cakes thrown to

lovers1 Engl i sh G ip sy Songs .


times round i t , hal t ing at last at the tail , where they

shook hands and went off in opposite directions . The

woman received a token made of cast iron,which she

was made to wear for the rest O f her days . They

never al l owed her to marry again,and she was l iable

to be put to death i f she endeavoured to pass for an

unmarried woman . The horse was buried,al l but

the heart,which was taken o ut , roasted , and eaten by

the husband and his friends .

The Mormons of Utah have their own pecul iar

marriage ri tes and customs . I n the early days Of the

sect they seem to have borrowed thei r forms and

ceremonies from other rel igious bodies,only adding

here and there terms of an original character . The

ceremony was performed by the President himself

i n the Temple ; but in some cases he deputed a

competent elder to take the Offi ce , i n which case the

ceremony took place at the o ffi cer’s house .

D i sputes arose continually between the various

courts as to the legal it y of such eld ers ’ performance

of the rites,but these they sett led amongst them

selves . When,however

,the Church became more

organised,i t was ordained that the ceremony of mar

riage might be performed in a publ i c place , the office

being taken by the highest or the lowest dignitary ,as the occasion served . In fact the restri ctions became

less and less,and those i n the church were permitted

to employ the usual outside agencies for the marrying

of their chi ldren , without fear of censure or reproof.

THE MORMONS 339

Of the re l igious aspect of marr iage the Mormon

seems more tenacious,i nterpret ing Scripture to show

the error of un it ing with unbel ievers , and general l y

g iving to the ceremony an air of solemnity which

must have been impressive to the thoughtful mind .

The concluding words of the priest are : “ In the

name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the authori ty

of the holy priesthood,I pronounce you legal ly and

lawful ly husband and wife for t ime and for al l eterni ty .

And I seal upon you the b lessings of the holy re surre c

t ion wi th power to come forth in the morning of

the first resurrect ion clothed with glory , immortal i ty

and everlast ing l ives,and I seal upon you the blessing

of thrones and dominions and principal it ies and

powers and exaltat ions,together with the blessings

of Abraham , Isaac , and Jacob , etc . , after which

fol l ows the reg istrat ion,a few friends also signing

their names as wi tnesses . When the man already

has a w ife the first wife stands to the left of her

husband,and the bride at her left hand . The presi

dent then asks,

“ Are you will ing to g ive this woman

to your husband to be his lawful and wedded wife

for t ime and for al l eternity ? If you are,you wi ll

manifest i t by placing her right hand in the right

hand of your husband . The right hands of the

husband and bride being thus j oined , the wi fe takes

her husband by the left arm,and the ceremony then

proceeds as described above .

The church , in add i t ion to such benedict ion , secures

other priv ileges for the in it iated . Thus,by the add i


tional ceremony of “ Spiritual Marriage,eternal

salvation and permanent posit ions of spiri tual rank

may be attained . For say they , One woman can

save one man only ; but a man can be instrumental

i n the salvation of an indefinite number of women .

”

Brigham Young,i n a d iscourse del ivered forty or

fifty years ago,gave the following di ctum :

“ And I

would say, as no man can be perfect w ithout the

woman , so no woman can be perfect wi thout a man

to lead her . I tel l you the truth as i t i s in the

bosom of eternity ; and I say so to every man upon

the face o f the earth,i f he wi shes to be saved he

cannot be saved without a woman by his side . ”

The first wife,according to the V iew general ly taken

amongst polygamists,i s tlze wife

,and assumes the

husband ’s name and title ; the others are cal led“ sisters

,

” and stand to the first wi fe ’s chi ld ren in

the relat ion of aunts . The first wife is married for

time , the others sealed for eternity . The age at which

gi rl s marry is about s ixteen,or a l i ttle more

,and

this seems to meet w i th approval by the bachelors .

D ivorce is not much sought,because the man i s

ashamed that he cannot keep order in his house ;only in case of adultery , cruelty , desert ion , or neglect

of a flagrant kind . Then wives are allowed to claim

to be free . The to o l iteral interpretation of Scrip

ture has seemingly l ed the Mormon to commit poly

gamy . Thus Abraham ’s descendants were to be as

the stars and the sands of the sea,and in his seed

all the nations o f the earth were to be blessed . And

INDE!

ABDUCT IO N , 33, 1 3 1

Abyss i n ia, 93

- 5Po s i t io n ofwomen i n

, 94Afghan i s tan

,67

Ado ri ng he ave n and e arth,C hi na

,

Afri c a— Bushmen,1 27; c en tra l ,

1 1 2 ; C haillu, Pau l d u, 109 ;Egyp t

, 91 Fernando Po,1 10 ;

I gwala, th e,

108 John s ton,

Sir Harry,1 1 5 Kaffirs

,1 1 6 ;

Mahd i, the

, 92 Masailand ,1 1 3 ; Mobana

,109 ; s hu t t in g

up th e bri de and bri degroom,

95 , 1 1 3 ; S l a t i n Pasha, s toryby

, 92 ; S tan l ey, H . M .,1 28 ;

Thomson,J o seph

,s tory to ld

by,1 14 ; Uganda, 1 14 ; V e i l

of c owri e sh e l l s,1 1 3

Ahe ta,th e

,of Ph i l i pp i n e I s l and s

,

28

A l tar,wa l k i ng ro und th e

,Gre e c e

,

180 ; Ru s s i a, 200

Ambassador ofLove , 287, 288

Ame ri c a,No rth

,Ind ian s of

,1 36

145 ; Cat l i n , M r. ,s tory to ld

by,1 36 ; co urt sh ip , me thod s

of,1 39

— 14 1 H i awa tha,144

Ameri c a,So u th

,Darw i n o n p eop l e

ofTe rra d e l Fuego,147; Pata

gonians, 147An c e s to rs

,anno un c eme n t o f th e

marriage to,Ch i na

, 45 re l i c sof, Tahi t i , 171

Arab s , B edo u i n s , 70—71 “ bri degroom ’s vo i c e

, 70 Burkhard t ,71 game s , 71 i l l u s trat io n s of

Scrip tu re,69 ; no tary, th e , 71

Re be c ca, 70 ; parab le of th e

v irgin s, 71 ,

Pro f. E . H . Pa lme r73 she ep sacrific ed, 73

d ra‘tz

’

,th e 6—9

Arauc an i an s,145

Armen i an s,81—4 ; match -mak e r,

81 lu c ky t ime s fo r a wedd i ng,81 “ weari ng th e c rown s ,

”83

Arundbati,th e s tar

,8

Augury,Chi na

, 37Au s tra l i a

,148

— 149Au s tri a

,24 1 Archdu k e J ohn of

,

24 1

BARCLAY,Edgar

,103

Barri e, J . M .

, 337B e do u i n s

, 70B e lgi um

,294

B e s t man,th e

, 4 1 , 42 , 166,1 67,

I78 2 34, 2 50 2 5 2 2 54, 2 59,294 ; o ri gi n of

,295 .

Se e Pro c urator, B idder, Sc ho o lma s te r

,Tai lor

Be tro tha l be fore b irth— Chi na, 3 1 ;N ewBri tai n

,1 5 6

“ B id-a l e s,

”299

B idd ing-papers,

Bidde r,the

,286

Bhi l s, 1 3

B ird,M i s s I sabe l l a . See Japan

B l ood- s ta i n on brow o f the bri de,14

B l un t,M rs . ,

188

Bo at-weddi ngEgypt

, 92 ;See S i amBohemia

,2 34

— 24 1

3 1 5

pro c e s s ion,i n

i n No rway, 2 1 2 .

INDE !

Bo sn ia,190

—3 ; truan t bri degroom ,

192 ; ve i l , 193Boy bridegroom ,

1 2, 3 1 , 1 6 1

,196

Brahmin c u s toms, 5

—

9Bre ac h of promise , Bu lgari a, 187Brid al= brid e ale

,299

Bri de , lamen tat ion by th e,i n

China, 40 ; i n Germany , 2 2 5

among Jews , 40 i n Turk ey ,79on V i ew

,Ch ina

, 44 M o ro c co,

101 ; compe l led to s tand agai n s ta c o l umn , A lgeri a, 102 ; c on

fin e d i n a hu t , Afri c a, 1 1 1

rai led up on a high p latform ,

Tahi t i,171 to k e ep out of

th e way of h e r boyfiancé, 1 5 3S te al i ng th e bri de

,Sw i tze rl and ,

2 5 6 ; to be vi s i ted o n ly afterdark

,1 27, 1 32

Bri de race,

”26

,2 30

Bri de -show,191

— 197Bri degroom truan t , S tory of

,Bo s

nia,192

Bri t tany,286

Brontola, 2 57B u lgaria

,184

— 190

Burc hard t . Se e Arab sBu shmen

,1 27

Bush,th e man e sc ap e s to th e , 1 56

Burma,19

— 2 2 E . D . Cumingon ,

20— 2 2

Bu t te rflie s as emb l ems . Se e JapanB urton

,Lady

,on Syri an c u s tom s ,

87

C AKE,Bu lgari a, 187— 189 ; Eng

land,298; Gre e c e , 177; S i am ,

26

C ampbe l l,Sir John , on c u s toms

i n O ri s sa , 1 5Cand le s , 42 , 89, 198, 201

C ann iba l i sm,148, 1 57

C anopy o r panda l , Ind ia , 6 J ews ,3 1 2

C ap ture , marri age by, 1 2,1 3, 1 5 ,

28, 33, 47, 67, 103, U s, 1 34,

145 , 1 50, 181,24o

Carl e ton,Wm. , 326

343

C at l i n, Mr.

,s to ry to ld by , N .

Ameri c a,1 37

C haillu, M . Pau l d u,109

Chair. Se e Pa lanqu i nCharms

,2,6,1 2 1

Ch i ld-marri age s— Ind ia, 1—4, 1 3 ;P ers ia

,6 3

Ch i ld-be tro tha l— Ch i na, 3 1 ; M e

lane sia,

1 6 1,1 6 2 ; N ewZ ea

land,

149 No rth Ameri c anInd ian s

,1 38 ; Pap uan s , 1 5 3

Ru ss i a,196

Chi na, 30

—5 2 ; age fo r marri age ,

3 1 be tro thed girl s , 48 boatp eop l e

, 36 co i n s on orangetre e

, 4 1 d i n n ers , 37emb lems ,4 1 go ld and si lve r weddi ngs ,5 1 th e bee-lun, 42 ; marri ageof mandari n s

, 32 marri age of

th e de ad, 46 pe rson s of same

name no t to marry, 48 pho to

graph of bri de , 5 1 po s i t io n ofwomen

, 30, 34—3 5 pre sen t s

,

45 ri dd le s as k ed, 45 se l e c t ion

of an empre s s, 50 ; V i s i t Of c ere

mo ny, 45 w i dows

, 48 s u i c i deof

, 49 wo rsh ip of th e t ab le t s,

43, 45 of he aven and e arth , 44Churc h door

,marriage at

,299

C lan,p e rson s of same

,no t a l lowed

to marry,Uganda

,1 14 ; i n

Chi na,of same n ame

, 48

Co c k s l a i n , 1 2 5 , 2 5 2

Co i n s s t u c k on bri degroom’s fo rehead

,As syri a

, 75 worn by girl s ,Ro uman ia, 190 ; Bo sn i a , 195

Co l l e c t io n tak e n for marriedco up l e , 36 , 209, 2 1 3 , 2 32 , 2 39,285 , 300, 301 for po o r

,294

C ombat , pre tended— Au s tria , 243 ;Arauc an ian s

,146 Dru se s

,85

Indi a,1 3

— 14 ; N ewHebride s,

1 6 2 ; Tartars , 68C o nquering fo e , th e , 14C ompare

'

,th e

,271 — 272

Co she rers , 326Co urt i ng at fun era l s

,Burma

,2 2— 2 5

344INDE !

Cri t i c i s i ng th e bri de , Ch i na , 44 ;Afri c a, 1 2 2

C rown s , d i s so l u t io n o f th e , Ru ss i a,200 danc i ng off th e , 2 1 2 , 244 ;p l edging th e , G ermany, 2 3 1

weari ng of th e , Ro uman ia , 192 ;c arryi ng of th e , Bu lgari a, 189 ;

removi ng th e , Arme n i a , 83C up of Love ,

”th e , 14, 41 , 42

C ze c hs , 2 39

DALMAT 1A,193

Dan ub ian provi n c e s , 1 85D ead

,marri age w i th th e , I ndi a

1 6 , Chi na , 46D e lagoa Bay , 1 24D e nmark , 2 1 3Do lphi n , as emb lem , Ch i na , 42Dru se s , ofM t . Leban o n , 85 mar

riage c o n trac t , 85 e t iqu e t te , 88fl uars o r c l an s , M o ro c co , 97D u Bo i s

,th e Abbé, 8

D u tc h c u s toms . Se e Ho l landDyak s of Borne o , 27

EART H,throw i n g of, Kaby l e s , 103

Ebrenmutter, th e , 2 32

E lopemen t s— Chi na, 34 ; Gre enl and

,1 34 ; Samo a , 1 68

Emb l ems o r symbo l s , i n B u lgari a ,188 ; Ch i na, 4 1 — 42 ; Japan ,57— 58 ; i n Ge rmany, 2 3 1 , 240 ;

T urk ey, 79 Tyro l

,2 58

Eng land,295

—

3 1 5 . Se e Survi va l s .Brid ale s, 299 ; co n tri bu t io n s ,300 b idden weddings ,

”

300 ;

runn ing for th e bri de -c ak e ,301 days fo r marryi ng, 302ann i versari e s

, 303 ; marri age of

co ndemned c ri mi na l s , 304fle e t weddings , 305 Q uak e rs ,309 ; J ews , 3 1 2

E s cap i ng ofgirl to th e mou n tai n s ,72 —74

E s k imo,1 33

— 1 3 5E t iqu e t te , s trange no t ion s of, 1 3 1

1 32

Evi l eye , th e,avert i ng, 7—9, 73 ,

2 29Evi l sp iri t s (dj tns ) 84, 1 54 ;

Papu an s, 1 54, 1 5 5

Ewe - spe ak i ng p e op l e , 106

FAI R I ES (o r l i t t l e fo l k )— Armen ia ,84 ; S c an d i navi a, 2 1 1 ; S c o t l and ,32 5 Ire l and , 33 1

Fe lbemann,Louis

,onM agyars

,2 5 3

Fe rnando Po , 1 1 1Fe zzan

,wedd ing i n th e , 95

F ij i , 1 6 3— 1 66

F l e e t we dd i ngs, 305Flowers , marri e d to a bun ch of

,

1 1 worn by Sp an i sh girl s,278

Fonaona, th e , Hungary, 247Fowl s k i l l ed at th e c e remo ny, 28Fran c e

,282 - 292 ; b iddi ng, 287.

Se e Bri t t anyFu ego

,T erra d e l

,147

GALLows, marri ed u nder th e , 304305

Game s a t wedd i ngs , 71 , 86 , 291

G e e lvi n k Bay, 1 6 1

G ermany, 2 2 2— 2 33 ; i n vi tat io n s ,2 24 ; season s , 2 2 5 Ebren

mutter, 2 32 supers t i t io n s, 2 26 ,2 28— 2 29 ; Po l terabend , 2 27

G i lbe rt I s lands,1 6 3

G i ps i e s,242 , 33 5

G i t anas, 336

Go at,w i t h gi lded horn s

,Gre e c e

,

189 ; sacrificed , 1 2 5Go ld and silverwed d ings, Chi na, 5 1Go nd s

,th e

,1 5

Goo se , as emb lem ,China

, 42

Graah , s tory to l d by , Gre en land,

I 34Gray

,Archd eacon , 30, 3 5 , 46

Gre en,th e fairie s’ co lour

, 303, 32 5Gre e n l and . Se e E s k imoGre e ce— A lban ian s

,184 ; bride s

’

sho e s,179 ; cap ture of bri de

,.

181 con se crat ed w i n e, 1 80 ;

c rown i ng by pri e s t,180 ; e x

c hange of ri ngs,

175 , 179 ;

346 INDE !

L evirate , l aw Of th e , 1 3 1 , 1 6 3L i ft i ng the bri de o ve r th e

thre sho ld . Se e Thre sho ldL i gh ted lamp as emb l em ,

14L i n dt

, J . W . ,1 5 2

L i t t l e p eop l e . Se e Fairi e sL i zard

,ome n of th e

, 5Lo ng I s l and, 1 5 3

MACEDON IA, 176M adagasc ar

,1 30

Mah i Kan tha,th e , 1 2

Ma i den mark e t ,”

th e Rou

man ia,191

Maien-stecfen, 2 6 1

Malayalis , th e , 1 2

Malays,th e

,1 5 1

Mal ay P e n in s u l a . See Jaku n tri be sMaori s

,149

Marri age -c ho i c e c eremony , I nd ia,

Mgrko Po lo on Tartar cus tom , 46

M at c h-m ak e rs— Bu lgari a, 185Gre e c e , 75 Ire l and

, 32 6

Japan, 5 5 ; Pe rs ia , 6 3 ; Se an

d inavia,208 S i am ,

26

Ma s k -dan c e,Ire land

, 332

Ma s k s,worn , Au s tri a , 245

Ma triarc ha l system ,th e

,1 2

,197

M e l an e s i a , 1 58— 1 6 2 Dorey,1 6 1

F lorida,

1 59 ; N ewHe bri de s ,1 6 2 ; San ta Cruz , 1 6 1 ; So l omon I s l e s

,1 58 t at too i ng

,1 58

M ode s ty,s trange i deas of, 1 32

M o n ey co l l e c t ed fo r wedd i ng, 75Moo rs

, 97M o rlac c i

,193

Mormon s, 339

M o ro c co , 97— 102 ; bo x c on taini ng bri de

,100 bride o n v i ew

,

1 01 benna u sed, 98 ox

s l aughtered, 99

M o the r-in- l aw,brid egroom no t

a l lowed to sp e a k to , 1 2 3, 146 ;brid e no t to speak to , 83M o u n ta i n of th e No rth

,th e

,8

M u l l ah,64

Murray,Mary

,Ire l and , 327

M u t ua l c o -operat ion , 36Mu tua l se e i ng .” Se e Japan ,Kaflirs

NAME of fa ther-in - l aw no t to be

pro nou n c ed by th e hu sband ,28 ; of mo ther-in- law no t to

be pron ou n c ed by hu sband,Kaflirs

,1 24 ; pe op l e of same

name no t a l l owed to marryChi na

, 48 Au s tra l i a, 148

N ewBri ta i n,1 5 5 be tro thed be

fo re b irth,

1 5 6 ; c an n iba l i sm ,

1 57; yo u ng man on be tro tha lgo e s to th e bu sh

,1 56

N ewGu i n e a, 1 5 1N ewHebri de s

,1 6 2

No t ary,pub l i c . Se e Arab s

O LD ma i ds— India , 1 2 Chi na, 48O men s

, 5O ra tors

,riva l

,264, 278, 279, 291

O x s laughtered— Moro c co , 99Sou th Afri c a

,1 2 3, 1 27

PALANoy I N , or c ha i r, 33, 4 1 , 42 ,

4374-9Palmer

,th e l at e Pro fe s so r E .H . ,73

Papuan s,1 5 1 ; mean ing of th e

word,1 5 1

Patago n ian s,147

Payme n t s by th e bri degro om , 4, 1 5 1

P enny Wedd i ng,

”th e

, 3 1 8-

324Petunia

,me an ing of

,1 2 1

P ers i a— buffo on s , 66 ; c hi ld-mar

riage , 6 3 fe ed i ng th e po o r,64 ; marri age of co u si n s , 6 2 ;ma t c h—mak e rs

,6 3 marriage

co n trac t,64 marriage o f a

pri n c e s s,67 musi c , 6 5 po s i

t io n ofwomen,6 2 sacrific e of

she ep,66

P in e tre e p lac ed be fore do or of

new home— Germany, 2 27Tyro l , 2 5 5P l an t—marriage , 1 2

Po l i sh weddi ng i n high l i fe , 2 142 2 1

INDE !

Po lygamy,1,1 14, 1 38, 1 5 2 , 1 6 3

Po rtugal,281

Pre se n t s gi ve n by bri de ’s fatherInd ia

,2 ; Jap an , 5 6 , 60 ; by

th e bridegro om— Ind ia , 5Ch i n a

, 37; J apan , 5 6 ; to

bri de smaids , 14, 240, 296 ; i nAu s tria

,244 ; Bohemia, 2 3 5 ;

Da lma t i a,193 Hungary

,249

I t a ly,2 68 Sc andi navia

,209

S i c i ly,275 ; S lave Co as t , 106

,

107 Turkey, 78

Pri c e ofa w ife, 4, 1 2

, 71 , 87, 93,98, 106

,1 18

,1 36 , 143, 1 5 1 ,

Pro c urator,2 32 , 2 34, 2 59

Q UAKER S , 309

RAC IN G afte r th e bri de,26

,28

Ran som, 75 , 2 2 6 , 245 , 26 3

R ed s ta i n on bri de ’s brow,14

Re lat i ve s of hu sband,bri d e no t

a l lowe d to spe ak to,w i thou t

permiss ion,Armen ia

,83

Re lu c tan c e of bride to e n te r th e

ho u se— Turk ey, 79 Syria

,89

R i c e,throw i ng of

,8,14 ; expla

nat io n of,298

R idd l e s a s ked, 4 5

Roman i s, 336

Rome,an c ie n t c u s toms of

,1 04

Run—away-marriage s,China

, 34Russ i a

,196 ;

“ Bri de - show,

”197;

c arpe t,

202 crown s,

200

Dr. Granvi l l e , 201 re semb lan c e to Roman c u s toms

,

200 ; survival s , 196 ; throw i ngwa t er

,201 w i n e and water

,200

SAMO A,1 66

Sa le ofa w ife,1 1

, 303Sampso n ’s weddi ng

,69

San t a Cruz,1 6 1

S candin avia , 208 ;“ Dan c ing off

th e crown , ” 2 1 2

Scdrdo,th e

,Hungary

,246

S choo lmas te r,part p layed by

,2 62

347

S co t l and, 3 18

—32 5 ; p enny wed

d ing, 3 18

Sco t c h gip s i e s, 337

Se a so n s (and t ime s ) for marri age— Arme n ian s

,81 Aus tria

,243

Bu lgari a,

187 Ch ina, 3 2

Eng land, 302 Ge rmany

,2 3 5

Gre e c e,

176 ; Ind ia , 5 , 9 ;

I taly,271 Sco t land

, 32 5Se co nd marriage s

,1 1

Sere n ade,277

Se ve n s t ep s,

”th e

,1, 4, 8

Shephe rds,B o sn i a

,191

Sho e,throw i n g th e

,297 of

fiancee, as k i ng for, Ch i n a, 47bri de ’s sho e s

, 43, 179, 2 10

hu sband’s,199

She ep k i l l ed — Arab s, 71 , 73 ;

Armen ian s,83 Kopts, 71

go a t k i l l ed Basu to s,

1 2 5Pe rs ia

,66

She ep ’s tro t ters,fe a s t of th e

,T ur

key, 81

Shoo t i ng at th e gue s t s w i th arrows ,So l omo n I s l e s

,1 60

Shu t t i ng up of th e bri de andbrid egro om Bu lgaria

,188

Masailand,1 1 3 Somal i land , 95

S iame se c u s toms,2 5

S i b e ri a pri son weddi ngs,

204Ko raks

,204

S i c i ly,273

S i t t i ng up a l l n ight,Long I s l and

,

1 54S i lve r

, J . M . W .,

on Japane sec u s toms

, 57S l a t i n Pa sha

, 92

S l ave Coa s t,106

So l omo n I s l ands, 1 58

Somal i l and, 95

So n s’ w i ve s,app ropri a ted by

fa ther,1 2

Spai n,276— 281

S tre e t of human bodi e s,

1 69S te ven son , Ro be rt Lo u i s , 1 60

Su i c id e of bri de s-e l e c t, 3 5 , 48,

1 66,193

348 INDE !

Supe rs t i t ion s Bohemia,

2 37C h i n a

, 37 Eng l and, 303

G ermany,2 24, 2 2 5 , 2 28

,2 29 ;

Indi a, 5 ; I taly, 269; Jap an , 6 1 ;

S co t l and, 3 2 5 ; Sw i tz e rl and , 2 6 2

Surp ri s e v i s i t,

”274

Survi val s,85 , 175 , 197, 295

— 298

Su t te e,17, 18

Sw i tze rl and,2 6 1 — 2 67— Kircbgang,

26 1 ; l u c ky t ime , 2 6 2 ; ta i l o r,2 6 2 ; ma k i ng no s egays , 26 3 ;th e “ ye l l owwoman

,

”2 6 5

E/Jrenmutter,2 6 5

Symbo l i sm,177

Syri an c u s toms,85

—

90 ; beam ,89

Symbo l s . Se e Emb l emsSwayzfmaar

,o r to urn amen t

, 9

TABU,84, 1 53

Tahi t i,171

Ta i lo r,th e

,26 2

,

Tali,th e

, 3 , 7, 8Tartars

,68

Tat too i ng,1 58

Tau n t s byth e wome n , Papuan s , 1 5 5Th eo cri t u s

,105

Thomso n,Dr. W . M .

,on Syri an

c u s toms,87

Thre a t t i ed on bri de ’s wri s t, 3 , 7

Tran sy l van ia,gip s i e s of

,242

Thre sho ld,s tepp i ng o ve r th e

,by

b ri de — Arabs, 71 Au s tria , 244 ;

P e rs ia,66 ; Turk e y , 79 ; l i ft i ng

bri de o ve r— Chin a, 48; Eng l and ,

297; Kaby l e s , 104 ; e xp l an a t io nof

,104 ; Sw i tzerl and , 2 66

Tomb of th e v i rgin s,C h i na

, 3 5To urname n t . Se e SwayamaarTrou sse au

,c arried i n p ro ce s s io n

,

Chin a, 4 1

Tro vado r,277

T u rc oman s,29

T urk s a t Bu lgarian wedd i ngs,189

Tu rk ey— 76— 80 ; ma t c h-ma k e rs ,76 marriage c o n trac t

, 78pre sen ts

, 78 re l uc tan c e o f

brid e, 79 sugar a s symbo l

, 79

I Tyi ng toge ther of bri de and brid egro om

,I ndia

, 3Tyro l

,2 54

— 2 60

UNW I L L INGN ESS of pare n t s to partwi th bride — Bohemia

,2 3 5 ;

Bri t tany, 288 Ro uman ia , 191S l ave Co a s t , 107 Tyro l

,2 5 5

V e DAs,th e

,1

V e n i c e,268

V e i l , th e , 43 ofc owrie she l l s,1 1 3

V i s i t to p are n t s — Ch i na, 45

Gre e c e , 181 ; M oro c c o,101 ;

S l ave Co as t,107

WALES, 3 1 5

— 17Wa te r po ured o ve r bri de andbri degro om— Ind ia

, 7, 1 2

Gre e c e , 178, 184 ; s tandi ng i nrunn i ng wa te r

,Kurds

,68

po ured o ve r bri de ’s fathe r,

Ru ss ia , 201 pou red o verthre sho ld

,179 ; bowl of wa te r

up se t,T urk ey

,80

Wa te r nymphs , prop i t ia t i ng th eAu s tria , 241 Bu lgaria

,188

,

190 ; Gre e c e,1 81— 182

Wa te rto n,hi s marriage

, 3 1

W i dows,tre a tme n t O f— Chin a

48—

49 ; Ind ia , 17; Madaga s car,1 3 1 . Se e Law of th e Le vira te

W i n e dru n k by bri de and brid egro om— ! Afri c a

,1 1 2

,180 Au s

tria , 24 1 Bu lgaria, 189

Ch in a, 4 1 J ews

,298 ; gi ve n

to bri degro om,G e rmany

,2 3 1

mi x ed w i th wat er,Ru ss ia

,200

offe red to a gi rl,2 5 6

W i ngs fa s ten ed o n bri d e,83

Wre ath s,2 3 1 , 240, 2 6 5

Wo ods,girl se e k s sh e l te r i n

,147

man e s cape s to th e bush,1 56

YE L LOW woman,th e

,2 6 5

— 2 66

Ye s-ale,

” Sc and i n av ia,208

,209

Yo ung,Arthur

, on I ri sh c us toms ,33 I

Z EZ I D I,th e

,68

Z u l u s , 1 18

Marriage Customs - Forgotten Books

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