"SurelyYou'reJoking,Mr.Feynman!"AdventuresofaCuriousCharacterbyRichardP.FeynmanastoldtoRalphLeighton

PrefaceThestoriesinthisbookwerecollectedintermittentlyandinformallyduringsevenyearsofveryenjoyabledrummingwithRichardFeynman.Ihavefoundeachstorybyitselftobeamusing,andthecollectiontakentogethertobeamazing:Thatonepersoncouldhavesomanywonderfullycrazythingshappentohiminonelifeissometimeshardtobelieve.Thatonepersoncouldinventsomuchinnocentmischiefinonelifeissurelyaninspiration!RALPHLEIGHTON

IntroductionIhopethesewon'tbetheonlymemoirsofRichardFeynman.Certainlythereminiscencesheregiveatruepictureofmuchofhischaracter--hisalmostcompulsiveneedtosolvepuzzles,hisprovocativemischievousness,hisindignantimpatiencewithpretensionandhypocrisy,andhistalentforone-uppinganybodywhotriestoone-uphim!Thisbookisgreatreading:outrageous,shocking,stillwarmandveryhuman.Forallthat,itonlyskirtsthekeystoneofhislife:science.Weseeithereandthere,asbackgroundmaterialinonesketchoranother,butneverasthefocusofhisexistence,whichgenerationsofhisstudentsandcolleaguesknowittobe.Perhapsnothingelseispossible.Theremaybenowaytoconstructsuchaseriesofdelightfulstoriesabouthimselfandhiswork:thechallengeandfrustration,theexcitementthatcapsinsight,thedeeppleasureofscientificunderstandingthathasbeenthewellspringofhappinessinhislife.IrememberwhenIwashisstudenthowitwaswhenyouwalkedintooneofhislectures.Hewouldbestandinginfrontofthehallsmilingatusallaswecamein,hisfingerstappingoutacomplicatedrhythmontheblacktopofthedemonstrationbenchthatcrossedthefrontofthelecturehall.Aslatecomerstooktheirseats,hepickedupthechalkandbeganspinningitrapidlythroughhisfingersinamannerofaprofessionalgamblerplayingwithapokerchip,stillsmilinghappilyasifatsomesecretjoke.Andthen--stillsmiling--hetalkedtousaboutphysics,hisdiagramsandequations

helpingustosharehisunderstanding.Itwasnosecretjokethatbroughtthesmileandthesparkleinhiseye,itwasphysics.Thejoyofphysics!Thejoywascontagious.Wearefortunatewhocaughtthatinfection.NowhereisyouropportunitytobeexposedtothejoyoflifeinthestyleofFeynman.ALBERTR.HIBBSSeniorMemberoftheTechnicalStaff,JetPropulsionLaboratory,CaliforniaInstituteofTechnology

VitalsSomefactsaboutmytiming:Iwasbornin1918inasmalltowncalledFarRockawav,rightontheoutskirtsofNewYork,nearthesea.Ilivedthereuntil1935,whenIwasseventeen.IwenttoMITforfouryears,andthenIwenttoPrinceton,inabout1939.DuringthetimeIwasatPrincetonIstartedtoworkontheManhattanProject,andIultimatelywenttoLosAlamosinApril1943,untilsomethinglikeOctoberorNovember1946,whenIwenttoCornell.IgotmarriedtoArlenein1941,andshediedoftuberculosiswhileIwasatLosAlamos,in1946.IwasatCornelluntilabout1951.IvisitedBrazilinthesummerof1949andspenthalfayeartherein1951,andthenwenttoCaltech,whereI'vebeeneversince.IwenttoJapanattheendof1951foracoupleofweeks,andthenagain,ayearortwolater,justafterImarriedmysecondwife,MaryLou.IamnowmarriedtoGweneth,whoisEnglish,andwehavetwochildren,CarlandMichelle.R.P.F.

Part1FromFarRockawaytoMITHeFixesRadiosbyThinking!

WhenIwasaboutelevenortwelveIsetupalabinmyhouse.ItconsistedofanoldwoodenpackingboxthatIputshelvesin.Ihadaheater,andI'dputinfatandcookfrench-friedpotatoesallthetime.Ialsohadastoragebattery,andalampbank.TobuildthelampbankIwentdowntothefive-and-tenandgotsomesocketsyoucanscrewdowntoawoodenbase,andconnectedthemwithpiecesofbellwire.Bymakingdifferentcombinationsofswitches--inseriesorparallel--IknewIcouldgetdifferentvoltages.ButwhatIhadn'trealizedwasthatabulb'sresistancedependsonitstemperature,sotheresultsofmycalculationsweren'tthesameasthestuffthatcameoutofthecircuit.Butitwasallright,andwhenthebulbswereinseries,allhalf-lit,theywouldgloooooooooow,verypretty--itwasgreat!IhadafuseinthesystemsoifIshortedanything,thefusewouldblow.NowIhadtohaveafusethatwasweakerthanthefuseinthehouse,soImademyownfusesbytakingtinfoilandwrappingitaroundanoldburnt-outfuse.AcrossmyfuseIhadafive-wattbulb,sowhenmyfuseblew,theloadfromthetricklechargerthatwasalwayschargingthestoragebatterywouldlightupthebulb.Thebulbwasontheswitchboardbehindapieceofbrowncandypaper(itlooksredwhenalight'sbehindit)--soifsomethingwentoff,I'dlookuptotheswitchboardandtherewouldbeabigredspotwherethefusewent.Itwasfun!Ienjoyedradios.IstartedwithacrystalsetthatIboughtatthestore,andIusedtolistentoitatnightinbedwhileIwasgoingtosleep,throughapairofearphones.Whenmymotherandfatherwentoutuntillateatnight,theywouldcomeintomyroomandtaketheearphonesoff--andworryaboutwhatwasgoingintomyheadwhileIwasasleep.AboutthattimeIinventedaburglaralarm,whichwasaverysimple-mindedthing:itwasjustabigbatteryandabellconnectedwithsomewire.Whenthedoortomyroomopened,itpushedthewireagainstthebatteryandclosedthecircuit,andthebellwouldgooff.Onenightmymotherandfathercamehomefromanightoutandvery,veryquietly,soasnottodisturbthechild,openedthedoortocomeintomyroomtotakemyearphonesoff.Allofasuddenthistremendousbellwentoffwithahelluvaracket--BONGBONGBONGBONGBONG!!!Ijumpedoutofbedyelling,"Itworked!Itworked!"IhadaFordcoil--asparkcoilfromanautomobile--andIhadthesparkterminalsatthetopofmyswitchboard.IwouldputaRaytheonRHtube,whichhadargongasinit,acrosstheterminals,andthesparkwouldmakeapurpleglowinsidethevacuum--itwasjustgreat!OnedayIwasplayingwiththeFordcoil,punchingholesinpaperwiththesparks,andthepapercaughtonfire.SoonIcouldn'tholditanymore

becauseitwasburningnearmyfingers,soIdroppeditinametalwastebasketwhichhadalotofnewspapersinit.Newspapersburnfast,youknow,andtheflamelookedprettybiginsidetheroom.Ishutthedoorsomymother--whowasplayingbridgewithsomefriendsinthelivingroom--wouldn'tfindouttherewasafireinmyroom,tookamagazinethatwaslyingnearby,andputitoverthewastebaskettosmotherthefire.AfterthefirewasoutItookthemagazineoff,butnowtheroombegantofillupwithsmoke.Thewastebasketwasstilltoohottohandle,soIgotapairofpliers,carrieditacrosstheroom,andhelditoutthewindowforthesmoketoblowout.Butbecauseitwasbreezyoutside,thewindlitthefireagain,andnowthemagazinewasoutofreach.SoIpulledtheflamingwastebasketbackinthroughthewindowtogetthemagazine,andInoticedtherewerecurtainsinthewindow--itwasverydangerous!Well,Igotthemagazine,putthefireoutagain,andthistimekeptthemagazinewithmewhileIshooktheglowingcoalsoutofthewastepaperbasketontothestreet,twoorthreefloorsbelow.ThenIwentoutofmyroom,closedthedoorbehindme,andsaidtomymother,"I'mgoingouttoplay,"andthesmokewentoutslowlythroughthewindows.IalsodidsomethingswithelectricmotorsandbuiltanamplifierforaphotocellthatIboughtthatcouldmakeabellringwhenIputmyhandinfrontofthecell.Ididn'tgettodoasmuchasIwantedto,becausemymotherkeptputtingmeoutallthetime,toplay.ButIwasofteninthehouse,fiddlingwithmylab.Iboughtradiosatrummagesales.Ididn'thaveanymoney,butitwasn'tveryexpensive-theywereold,brokenradios,andI'dbuythemandtrytofixthem.Usuallytheywerebrokeninsomesimple-mindedway--someobviouswirewashangingloose,oracoilwasbrokenorpartlyunwound--soIcouldgetsomeofthemgoing.OnoneoftheseradiosonenightIgotWACOinWaco,Texas--itwastremendouslyexciting!OnthissametuberadioupinmylabIwasabletohearastationupinSchenectadycalledWGN.Now,allofuskids--mytwocousins,mysister,andtheneighborhoodkids--listenedontheradiodownstairstoaprogramcalledtheEnoCrimeClub--Enoeffervescentsalts--itwasthething!Well,IdiscoveredthatIcouldhearthisprogramupinmylabonWGNonehourbeforeitwasbroadcastinNewYork!SoI'ddiscoverwhatwasgoingtohappen,andthen,whenwewereallsittingaroundtheradiodownstairslisteningtotheEnoCrimeClub,I'dsay,"Youknow,wehaven'theardfromso-and-soinalongtime.Ibetchahecomesandsavesthesituation."Twosecondslater,bup-bup,hecomes!Sotheyallgotexcitedaboutthis,andIpredictedacoupleofotherthings.Thentheyrealizedthatthere

mustbesometricktoit--thatImustknow,somehow.SoIowneduptowhatitwas,thatIcouldhearitupstairsthehourbefore.Youknowwhattheresultwas,naturally.Nowtheycouldn'twaitfortheregularhour,Theyallhadtositupstairsinmylabwiththislittlecreakyradioforhalfanhour,listeningtotheEnoCrimeClubfromSchenectady.Welivedatthattimeinabighouse;itwasleftbymygrandfathertohischildren,andtheydidn'thavemuchmoneyasidefromthehouse.Itwasaverylarge,woodenhouse,andIwouldrunwiresallaroundtheoutside,andhadplugsinalltherooms,soIcouldalwayslistentomyradios,whichwereupstairsinmylab.Ialsohadaloudspeaker--notthewholespeaker,butthepartwithoutthebighornonit.Oneday,whenIhadmyearphoneson,Iconnectedthemtotheloudspeaker,andIdiscoveredsomething:IputmyfingerinthespeakerandIcouldhearitintheearphones;IscratchedthespeakerandI'dhearitintheearphones.SoIdiscoveredthatthespeakercouldactlikeamicrophone,andyoudidn'tevenneedanybatteries.AtschoolweweretalkingaboutAlexanderGrahamBell,soIgaveademonstrationofthespeakerandtheearphones.Ididn'tknowitatthetime,butIthinkitwasthetypeoftelephoneheoriginallyused.

SonowIhadamicrophone,andIcouldbroadcastfromupstairstodownstairs,andfromdownstairstoupstairs,usingtheamplifiersofmyrummage-saleradios.AtthattimemysisterJoan,whowasnineyearsyoungerthanIwas,musthavebeenabouttwoorthree,andtherewasaguyontheradiocalledUncleDonthatshelikedtolistento.He'dsinglittlesongsabout"goodchildren,"andsoon,andhe'dreadcardssentinbyparentstellingthat"MarySo-and-soishavingabirthdaythisSaturdayat25FlatbushAvenue."OnedaymycousinFrancisandIsatJoandownandsaidthattherewasaspecialprogramsheshouldlistento.Thenweranupstairsandwestartedtobroadcast:"ThisisUncleDon.WeknowaverynicelittlegirlnamedJoanwholivesonNewBroadway;she'sgotabirthdaycoming--nottoday,butsuch-and-such.She'sacutegirl."Wesangalittlesong,andthenwemademusic:"Deedleleetdeet,doodledoodlelootdoot;deedledeedleleet,doodlelootdootdooWewentthroughthewholedeal,andthenwecamedownstairs:"Howwasit?Didyouliketheprogram?""Itwasgood,"shesaid,"butwhydidyoumakethemusicwithyourmouth?"OnedayIgotatelephonecall:"Mister,areyouRichardFeynman?""Yes."

"Thisisahotel.Wehavearadiothatdoesn'twork,andwouldlikeitrepaired.Weunderstandyoumightbeabletodosomethingaboutit.""ButI'monlyalittleboy,"Isaid."Idon'tknowhow--""Yes,weknowthat,butwe'dlikeyoutocomeoveranyway."Itwasahotelthatmyauntwasrunning,butIdidn'tknowthat.Iwentovertherewith--theystilltellthestory--abigscrewdriverinmybackpocket.Well,Iwassmall,soanyscrewdriverlookedbiginmybackpocket.Iwentuptotheradioandtriedtofixit.Ididn'tknowanythingaboutit,buttherewasalsoahandymanatthehotel,andeitherhenoticed,orInoticed,alooseknobontherheostat--toturnupthevolume--sothatitwasn'tturningtheshaft.Hewentoffandfiledsomething,andfixeditupsoitworked.ThenextradioItriedtofixdidn'tworkatall.Thatwaseasy:itwasn'tpluggedinright.Astherepairjobsgotmoreandmorecomplicated,Igotbetterandbetter,andmoreelaborate.IboughtmyselfamilliammeterinNewYorkandconverteditintoavoltmeterthathaddifferentscalesonitbyusingtherightlengths(whichIcalculated)ofveryfinecopperwire.Itwasn'tveryaccurate,hutitwasgoodenoughtotellwhetherthingswereintherightballparkatdifferentconnectionsinthoseradiosets.ThemainreasonpeoplehiredmewastheDepression.Theydidn'thaveanymoneytofixtheirradios,andthey'dhearaboutthiskidwhowoulddoitforless.SoI'dclimbonroofstofixantennas,andallkindsofstuff.Igotaseriesoflessonsofever-increasingdifficulty.UltimatelyIgotsomejoblikeconvertingaDCsetintoanACset,anditwasveryhardtokeepthehumfromgoingthroughthesystem,andIdidn'tbuilditquiteright.Ishouldn'thavebittenthatoneoff,butIdidn'tknow.Onejobwasreallysensational.Iwasworkingatthetimeforaprinter,andamanwhoknewthatprinterknewIwastryingtogetjobsfixingradios,sohesentafellowaroundtotheprintshoptopickmeup.Theguyisobviouslypoor--hiscarisacompletewreck--andwegotohishousewhichisinacheappartoftown.Ontheway,Isay,"What'sthetroublewiththeradio?"Hesays,"WhenIturnitonitmakesanoise,andafterawhilethenoisestopsandeverything'sallright,butIdon'tlikethenoiseatthebeginning."Ithinktomyself:"Whatthehell!Ifhehasn'tgotanymoney,you'dthinkhecouldstandalittlenoiseforawhile."

Andallthetime,onthewaytohishouse,he'ssayingthingslike,"Doyouknowanythingaboutradios?Howdoyouknowaboutradios--you'rejustalittleboy!"He'sputtingmedownthewholeway,andI'mthinking,"Sowhat'sthematterwithhim?Soitmakesalittlenoise."ButwhenwegotthereIwentovertotheradioandturnediton.Littlenoise?MyGod!Nowonderthepoorguycouldn'tstandit.Thethingbegantoroarandwobble--WUHBUHBUHBUHBUH--Atremendousamountofnoise.Thenitquieteddownandplayedcorrectly.SoIstartedtothink:"Howcanthathappen?"Istartwalkingbackandforth,thinking,andIrealizethatonewayitcanhappenisthatthetubesareheatingupinthewrongorder--thatis,theamplifier'sallhot,thetubesarereadytogo,andthere'snothingfeedingin,orthere'ssomebackcircuitfeedingin,orsomethingwronginthebeginningpart--theHFpart--andthereforeit'smakingalotofnoise,pickingupsomething.AndwhentheRFcircuit'sfinallygoing,andthegridvoltagesareadjusted,everything'sallright.Sotheguysays,"Whatareyoudoing?Youcometofixtheradio,butyou'reonlywalkingbackandforth!"Isay,"I'mthinking!"ThenIsaidtomyself,"Allright,takethetubesout,andreversetheordercompletelyintheset."(Manyradiosetsinthosedaysusedthesametubesindifferentplaces--212's,Ithinktheywere,or212-A's.)SoIchangedthetubesaround,steppedtothefrontoftheradio,turnedthethingon,andit'sasquietasalamb:itwaitsuntilitheatsup,andthenplaysperfectly--nonoise.Whenapersonhasbeennegativetoyou,andthenyoudosomethinglikethat,they'reusuallyahundredpercenttheotherway,kindoftocompensate.Hegotmeotherjobs,andkepttellingeverybodywhatatremendousgeniusIwas,saying,"Hefixesradiosbythinking!"Thewholeideaofthinking,tofixaradio--alittleboystopsandthinks,andfiguresouthowtodoit--heneverthoughtthatwaspossible.Radiocircuitsweremucheasiertounderstandinthosedaysbecauseeverythingwasoutintheopen.Afteryoutookthesetapart(itwasabigproblemtofindtherightscrews),youcouldseethiswasaresistor,that'sacondenser,here'sathis,there'sathat;theywerealllabeled.Andifwaxhadbeendrippingfromthecondenser,itwastoohotandyoucouldtellthatthecondenserwasburnedout.Iftherewascharcoalononeoftheresistorsyouknewwherethetroublewas.Or,ifyoucouldn'ttellwhatwasthematterbylookingatit,you'dtestitwithyourvoltmeterandseewhethervoltagewascomingthrough.Thesetsweresimple,thecircuitswerenotcomplicated.Thevoltageonthegridswasalwaysaboutoneanda

halfortwovoltsandthevoltagesontheplateswereonehundredortwohundred,DC.Soitwasn'thardformetofixaradiobyunderstandingwhatwasgoingoninside,noticingthatsomethingwasn'tworkingright,andfixingit.Sometimesittookquiteawhile.Irememberoneparticulartimewhenittookthewholeafternoontofindaburned-outresistorthatwasnotapparent.Thatparticulartimeithappenedtobeafriendofmymother,soIhadtime-therewasnobodyonmybacksaying,"Whatareyoudoing?"Instead,theyweresaying,"Wouldyoulikealittlemilk,orsomecake?"IfinallyfixeditbecauseIhad,andstillhave,persistence.OnceIgetonapuzzle,Ican'tgetoff.Ifmymother'sfriendhadsaid,"Nevermind,it'stoomuchwork,"I'dhaveblownmytop,becauseIwanttobeatthisdamnthing,aslongasI'vegonethisfar.Ican'tjustleaveitafterI'vefoundoutsomuchaboutit.Ihavetokeepgoingtofindoutultimatelywhatisthematterwithitintheend.That'sapuzzledrive.It'swhataccountsformywantingtodecipherMayanhieroglyphics,fortryingtoopensafes.Irememberinhighschool,duringfirstperiodaguywouldcometomewithapuzzleingeometry,orsomethingwhichhadbeenassignedinhisadvancedmathclass.Iwouldn'tstopuntilIfiguredthedamnthingout--itwouldtakemefifteenortwentyminutes.Butduringtheday,otherguyswouldcometomewiththesameproblem,andI'ddoitfortheminaflash.Soforoneguy,todoittookmetwentyminutes,whiletherewerefiveguyswhothoughtIwasasuper-genius.SoIgotafancyreputation.Duringhighschooleverypuzzlethatwasknowntomanmusthavecometome.Everydamn,crazyconundrumthatpeoplehadinvented,Iknew.SowhenIgottoMITtherewasadance,andoneoftheseniorshadhisgirlfriendthere,andsheknewalotofpuzzles,andhewastellingherthatIwasprettygoodatthem.Soduringthedanceshecameovertomeandsaid,"Theysayyou'reasmartguy,sohere'soneforyou:Amanhaseightcordsofwoodtochop..."AndIsaid,"Hestartsbychoppingeveryotheroneinthreeparts,"becauseIhadheardthatone.Thenshe'dgoawayandcomebackwithanotherone,andI'dalwaysknowit.Thiswentonforquiteawhile,andfinally,neartheendofthedance,shecameover,lookingasifshewasgoingtogetmeforsurethistime,andshesaid,"AmotheranddaughteraretravelingtoEurope...""Thedaughtergotthebubonicplague."

Shecollapsed!Thatwashardlyenoughcluestogettheanswertothatone:Itwasthelongstoryabouthowamotheranddaughterstopatahotelandstayinseparaterooms,andthenextdaythemothergoestothedaughter'sroomandthere'snobodythere,orsomebodyelseisthere,andshesays,"Where'smydaughter?"andthehotelkeepersays,"Whatdaughter?"andtheregister'sgotonlythemother'sname,andsoon,andsoon,andthere'sabigmysteryastowhathappened.Theansweris,thedaughtergotbubonicplague,andthehotel,notwantingtohavetocloseup,spiritsthedaughteraway,cleansuptheroom,anderasesallevidenceofherhavingbeenthere.Itwasalongtale,butIhadheardit,sowhenthegirlstartedoutwith,"AmotheranddaughteraretravelingtoEurope,"Iknewonethingthatstartedthatway,soItookaflyingguess,andgotit.Wehadathingathighschoolcalledthealgebrateam,whichconsistedoffivekids,andwewouldtraveltodifferentschoolsasateamandhavecompetitions.Wewouldsitinonerowofseatsandtheotherteamwouldsitinanotherrow.Ateacher,whowasrunningthecontest,wouldtakeoutanenvelope,andontheenvelopeitsays"forty-fiveseconds."Sheopensitup,writestheproblemontheblackboard,andsays,"Go!"--soyoureallyhavemorethanforty-fivesecondsbecausewhileshe'swritingyoucanthink.Nowthegamewasthis:Youhaveapieceofpaper,andonityoucanwriteanything,youcandoanything.Theonlythingthatcountedwastheanswer.Iftheanswerwas"sixbooks,"you'dhavetowrite"6,"andputabigcirclearoundit.Ifwhatwasinthecirclewasright,youwon;ifitwasn't,youlost.Onethingwasforsure:Itwaspracticallyimpossibletodotheprobleminanyconventional,straightforwardway,likeputting"Aisthenumberofredbooks,Bisthenumberofbluebooks,"grind,grind,grind,untilyouget"sixbooks."Thatwouldtakeyoufiftyseconds,becausethepeoplewhosetupthetimingsontheseproblemshadmadethemallatrifleshort.Soyouhadtothink,"Isthereawaytoseeit?"Sometimesyoucouldseeitinaflash,andsometimesyou'dhavetoinventanotherwaytodoitandthendothealgebraasfastasyoucould.Itwaswonderfulpractice,andIgotbetterandbetter,andIeventuallygottobetheheadoftheteam.SoIlearnedtodoalgebraveryquickly,anditcameinhandyincollege.Whenwehadaproblemincalculus,Iwasveryquicktoseewhereitwasgoingandtodothealgebra--fast.AnotherthingIdidinhighschoolwastoinventproblemsandtheorems.Imean,ifIweredoinganymathematicalthingatall,Iwouldfindsomepracticalexampleforwhichitwouldbeuseful.Iinventedasetofright-triangleproblems.Butinsteadofgivingthelengthsoftwoofthesidestofindthethird,Igavethedifferenceofthetwosides.Atypicalexamplewas:There'saflagpole,andthere'saropethatcomesdownfromthetop.Whenyouholdtheropestraightdown,it'sthreefeetlongerthanthepole,andwhenyoupulltheropeouttight,it'sfivefeetfromthebaseofthepole.How

highisthepole?Idevelopedsomeequationsforsolvingproblemslikethat,andasaresultInoticedsomeconnection--perhapsitwassin2+cos2=1--thatremindedmeoftrigonometry.Now,afewyearsearlier,perhapswhenIwaselevenortwelve,IhadreadabookontrigonometrythatIhadcheckedoutfromthelibrary,butthebookwasbynowlonggone.Irememberedonlythattrigonometryhadsomethingtodowithrelationsbetweensinesandcosines.SoIbegantoworkoutalltherelationsbydrawingtriangles,andeachoneIprovedbymyself.Ialsocalculatedthesine,cosine,andtangentofeveryfivedegrees,startingwiththesineoffivedegreesasgiven,byadditionandhalf-angleformulasthatIhadworkedout.Afewyearslater,whenwestudiedtrigonometryinschool,IstillhadmynotesandIsawthatmydemonstrationswereoftendifferentfromthoseinthebook.Sometimes,forathingwhereIdidn'tnoticeasimplewaytodoit,IwentallovertheplacetillIgotit.Othertimes,mywaywasmostclever--thestandarddemonstrationinthebookwasmuchmorecomplicated!SosometimesIhad'emheat,andsometimesitwastheotherwayaround.WhileIwasdoingallthistrigonometry,Ididn'tlikethesymbolsforsine,cosine,tangent,andsoon.Tome,"sinf"lookedlikestimesitimesntimesf!SoIinventedanothersymbol,likeasquarerootsign,thatwasasigmawithalongarmstickingoutofit,andIputthefunderneath.Forthetangentitwasatauwiththetopofthetauextended,andforthecosineImadeakindofgamma,butitlookedalittlebitlikethesquarerootsign.Nowtheinversesinewasthesamesigma,butleft-to-rightreflectedsothatitstartedwiththehorizontallinewiththevalueunderneath,andthenthesigma.Thatwastheinversesine,NOTsinkf--thatwascrazy!Theyhadthatinbooks!Tome,sin_imeanti/sine,thereciprocal.Somysymbolswerebetter.

Ididn'tlikef(x)--thatlookedtomelikeftimesx.Ialsodidn'tlikedy/dx--youhaveatendencytocancelthed's--soImadeadifferentsign,somethinglikean&sign.ForlogarithmsitwasabigLextendedtotheright,withthethingyoutakethelogofinside,andsoon.Ithoughtmysymbolswerejustasgood,ifnotbetter,thantheregularsymbols--itdoesn'tmakeanydifferencewhatsymbolsyouuse--butIdiscoveredlaterthatitdoesmakeadifference.OncewhenIwasexplainingsomethingtoanotherkidinhighschool,withoutthinkingIstartedtomakethesesymbols,andhesaid,"Whatthehellarethose?"IrealizedthenthatifI'mgoingtotalktoanybodyelse,I'llhavetousethestandard

symbols,soIeventuallygaveupmyownsymbols.Ihadalsoinventedasetofsymbolsforthetypewriter,likeFORTRANhastodo,soIcouldtypeequations.Ialsofixedtypewriters,withpaperclipsandrubberbands(therubberbandsdidn'tbreakdownliketheydohereinLosAngeles),hutIwasn'taprofessionalrepairman;I'djustfixthemsotheywouldwork.Butthewholeproblemofdiscoveringwhatwasthematter,andfiguringoutwhatyouhavetodotofixit--thatwasinterestingtome,likeapuzzle.

StringBeansImusthavebeenseventeenoreighteenwhenIworkedonesummerinahotelrunbymyaunt.Idon'tknowhowmuchIgot--twenty-twodollarsamonth,Ithink--andIalternatedelevenhoursonedayandthirteenthenextasadeskclerkorasabusboyintherestaurant.Andduringtheafternoon,whenyouweredeskclerk,youhadtobringmilkuptoMrs.D--,aninvalidwomanwhonevergaveusatip.That'sthewaytheworldwas:Youworkedlonghoursandgotnothingforit,everyday.Thiswasaresorthotel,bythebeach,ontheoutskirtsofNewYorkCity.Thehusbandswouldgotoworkinthecityandleavethewivesbehindtoplaycards,soyouwouldalwayshavetogetthebridgetablesout.Thenatnighttheguyswouldplaypoker,soyou'dgetthetablesreadyforthem--cleanouttheashtraysandsoon.Iwasalwaysupuntillateatnight,liketwoo'clock,soitreallywasthirteenandelevenhoursaday.TherewerecertainthingsIdidn'tlike,suchastipping.Ithoughtweshouldbepaidmore,andnothavetohaveanytips.ButwhenIproposedthattotheboss,Igotnothingbutlaughter.Shetoldeverybody,"Richarddoesn'twanthistips,hee,hee,hee;hedoesn'twanthistips,ha,ha,ha."Theworldisfullofthiskindofdumbsmart-alecwhodoesn'tunderstandanything.Anyway,atonestagetherewasagroupofmenwho,whenthey'dcomebackfromworkinginthecity,wouldrightawaywanticefortheirdrinks.Nowtheotherguyworkingwithmehadreallybeenadeskclerk.HewasolderthanIwas,andalotmoreprofessional.Onetimehesaidtome,"Listen,we'realwaysbringingiceuptothatguyUngarandhenevergivesusatip--noteventencents.Nexttime,whentheyaskforice,justdon'tdoadamnthing.Thenthey'llcallyouback,andwhentheycallyouback,yousay,'Oh,I'msorry.Iforgot.We'reallforgetfulsometimes.'"SoIdidit,andUngargavemefifteencents!Butnow,whenIthinkbackonit,Irealizethattheotherdeskclerk,theprofessional,hadreally

knownwhattodo--telltheotherguytotaketheriskofgettingintotrouble.Heputmetothejoboftrainingthisfellatogivetips.Heneversaidanything;hemademedoit!Ihadtocleanuptablesinthediningroomasabusboy.Youpileallthisstufffromthetablesontoatrayattheside,andwhenitgetshighenoughyoucarryitintothekitchen.Soyougetanewtray,right?Youshoulddoitintwosteps--taketheoldtrayaway,andputinanewone-butIthought,"I'mgoingtodoitinonestep."SoItriedtoslidethenewtrayunder,andpulltheoldtrayoutatthesametime,anditslipped--BANG!Allthestuffwentonthefloor.Andthen,naturally,thequestionwas,"Whatwereyoudoing?Howdiditfall?"Well,howcouldIexplainthatIwastryingtoinventanewwaytohandletrays?Amongthedessertstherewassomekindofcoffeecakethatcameoutveryprettyonadoily,onalittleplate.Butifyouwouldgointhebackyou'dseeamancalledthepantryman.Hisproblemwastogetthestuffreadyfordesserts.Nowthismanmusthavebeenaminer,orsomething--heavybuilt,withverystubby,rounded,thickfingers.He'dtakethisstackofdoilies,whicharemanufacturedbysomesortofstampingprocess,allstucktogether,andhe'dtakethesestubbyfingersandtrytoseparatethedoiliestoputthemontheplates.Ialwaysheardhimsay,"Damndeezdoilies!"whilehewasdoingthis,andIrememberthinking,"Whatacontrast--thepersonsittingatthetablegetsthisnicecakeonadoiliedplate,whilethepantrymanbacktherewiththestubbythumbsissaying,'Damndeezdoilies!'"Sothatwasthedifferencebetweentherealworldandwhatitlookedlike.Myfirstdayonthejobthepantryladyexplainedthatsheusuallymadeahamsandwich,orsomething,fortheguywhowasonthelateshift.IsaidthatIlikeddesserts,soiftherewasadessertleftoverfromsupper,I'dlikethat.ThenextnightIwasonthelateshifttill2:00A.M.withtheseguysplayingpoker.Iwassittingaroundwithnothingtodo,gettingbored,whensuddenlyIrememberedtherewasadesserttoeat.Iwentovertotheiceboxandopeneditup,andthereshe'dleftsixdesserts!Therewasachocolatepudding,apieceofcake,somepeachslices,somericepudding,somejello--therewaseverything!SoIsatthereandatethesixdesserts--itwassensational!Thenextdayshesaidtome,"Ileftadessertforyou."Itwaswonderful,"Isaid,"absolutelywonderful!""ButIleftyousixdessertsbecauseIdidn'tknowwhichoneyoulikedthebest."

Sofromthattimeonsheleftsixdesserts.Theyweren'talwaysdifferent,buttherewerealwayssixdesserts.OnetimewhenIwasdeskclerkagirlleftabookbythetelephoneatthedeskwhileshewenttoeatdinner,soIlookedat.it.ItwasTheLifeofLeonardo,andIcouldn'tresist:ThegirlletmeborrowitandIreadthewholething.Isleptinalittleroominthebackofthehotel,andtherewassomestewaboutturningoutthelightswhenyouleaveyourroom,whichIcouldn'teverremembertodo.InspiredbytheLeonardobook,Imadethisgadgetwhichconsistedofasystemofstringsandweights--Cokebottlesfullofwater--thatwouldoperatewhenI'dopenthedoor,lightingthepull-chainlightinside.Youopenthedoor,andthingswouldgo,andlightthelight;thenyouclosethedoorbehindyou,andthelightwouldgoout.Butmyrealaccomplishmentcamelater.Iusedtocutvegetablesinthekitchen.Stringbeanshadtobecutintoone-inchpieces.Thewayyouweresupposedtodoitwas:Youholdtwobeansinonehand,theknifeintheother,andyoupresstheknifeagainstthebeansandyourthumb,almostcuttingyourself.Itwasaslowprocess.SoIputmymindtoit,andIgotaprettygoodidea.Isatdownatthewoodentableoutsidethekitchen,putabowlinmylap,andstuckaverysharpknifeintothetableataforty-five-degreeangleawayfromme.ThenIputapileofthestringbeansoneachside,andI'dpickoutabean,oneineachhand,andbringittowardsmewithenoughspeedthatitwouldslice,andthepieceswouldslideintothebowlthatwasinmylap.SoI'mslicingbeansoneaftertheother--chig,chig,chig,chig,chig--andeverybody'sgivingmethebeans,andI'mgoinglikesixtywhenthebosscomesbyandsays,"Whatareyoudoing?"Isay,"LookatthewayIhaveofcuttingbeans!"--andjustatthatmomentIputafingerthroughinsteadofabean.Bloodcameoutandwentonthebeans,andtherewasabigexcitement:"Lookathowmanybeansyouspoiled!Whatastupidwaytodothings!"andsoon.SoIwasneverabletomakeanyimprovement,whichwouldhavebeeneasy--withaguard,orsomething--butno,therewasnochanceforimprovement.Ihadanotherinvention,whichhadasimilardifficulty.Wehadtoslicepotatoesafterthey'dbeencooked,forsomekindofpotatosalad.Theywerestickyandwet,anddifficulttohandle.Ithoughtofawholelotofknives,parallelinarack,comingdownandslicingthewholething.Ithoughtaboutthisalongtime,andfinallyIgottheideaofwiresinarack,

SoIwenttothefive-and-tentobuysomeknivesorwires,andsawexactlythegadgetIwanted:itwasforslicingeggs.Thenexttimethe

potatoescameoutIgotmylittleegg-sliceroutandslicedallthepotatoesinnotime,andsentthembacktothechef.ThechefwasaGerman,agreatbigguywhowasKingoftheKitchen,andhecamestormingout,bloodvesselsstickingoutofhisneck,lividred."What'sthematterwiththepotatoes?"hesays."They'renotsliced!"Ihadthemsliced,buttheywereallstucktogether.Hesays,"HowcanIseparatethem?""Stick'eminwater,"Isuggest."INWATER?EAGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"AnothertimeIhadareallygoodidea.WhenIwasdeskclerkIhadtoanswerthetelephone.Whenacallcamein,somethingbuzzed,andaflapcamedownontheswitchboardsoyoucouldtellwhichlineitwas.Sometimes,whenIwashelpingthewomenwiththebridgetablesorsittingonthefrontporchinthemiddleoftheafternoon(whentherewereveryfewcalls),I'dbesomedistancefromtheswitchboardwhensuddenlyitwouldgo.I'dcomerunningtocatchit,butthewaythedeskwasmade,inordertogettotheswitchboardyouhadtogoquiteadistancefurtherdown,thenaround,inbehind,andthenbackuptoseewherethecallwascomingfrom--ittookextratime.SoIgotagoodidea.Itiedthreadstotheflapsontheswitchboard,andstrungthemoverthetopofthedeskandthendown,andattheendofeachthreadItiedalittlepieceofpaper.ThenIputthetelephonetalkingpieceupontopofthedesk,soIcouldreachitfromthefront.Now,whenacallcame,Icouldtellwhichflapwasdownbywhichpieceofpaperwasup,soIcouldanswerthephoneappropriately,fromthefront,tosavetime.OfcourseIstillhadtogoaroundbacktoswitchitin,butatleastIwasansweringit.I'dsay,"Justamoment,"andthengoaroundtoswitchitin.Ithoughtthatwasperfect,butthebosscamebyoneday,andshewantedtoanswerthephone,andshecouldn'tfigureitout--toocomplicated."Whatareallthesepapersdoing?Whyisthetelephoneonthisside?Whydon'tyou...raaaaaaaa!"Itriedtoexplain--itwasmyownaunt--thattherewasnoreasonnottodothat,butyoucan'tsaythattoanybodywho'ssmart,whorunsahotel!Ilearnedtherethatinnovationisaverydifficultthingintherealworld.

WhoStoletheDoor?AtMITthedifferentfraternitiesallhad"smokers"wheretheytriedtogetthenewfreshmentobetheirpledges,andthesummerbeforeIwentto

MITIwasinvitedtoameetinginNewYorkofPhiBetaDelta,aJewishfraternity.Inthosedays,ifyouwereJewishorbroughtupinaJewishfamily,youdidn'thaveachanceinanyotherfraternity.Nobodyelsewouldlookatyou.Iwasn'tparticularlylookingtobewithotherJews,andtheguysfromthePhiBetaDeltafraternitydidn'tcarehowJewishIwas--infact,Ididn'tbelieveanythingaboutthatstuff,andwascertainlynotinanywayreligious.Anyway,someguysfromthefraternityaskedmesomequestionsandgavemealittlebitofadvice--thatIoughttotakethefirst-yearcalculusexamsoIwouldn'thavetotakethecourse-whichturnedouttobegoodadvice.IlikedthefellaswhocamedowntoNewYorkfromthefraternity,andthetwoguyswhotalkedmeintoit,Ilaterbecametheirroommate.TherewasanotherJewishfraternityatMIT,called"SAM,"andtheirideawastogivemearideuptoBostonandIcouldstaywiththem.Iacceptedtheride,andstayedupstairsinoneoftheroomsthatfirstnight.ThenextmorningIlookedoutthewindowandsawthetwoguysfromtheotherfraternity(thatImetinNewYork)walkingupthesteps.SomeguysfromtheSigmaAlphaMuranouttotalktothemandtherewasabigdiscussion.Iyelledoutthewindow,"Hey,I'msupposedtobewiththoseguys!"andIrushedoutofthefraternitywithoutrealizingthattheywerealloperating,competingformypledge.Ididn'thaveanyfeelingsofgratitudefortheride,oranything.ThePhiBetaDeltafraternityhadalmostcollapsedtheyearbefore,becausethereweretwodifferentcliquesthathadsplitthefraternityinhalf.Therewasagroupofsocialitecharacters,wholikedtohavedancesandfoolaroundintheircarsafterwards,andsoon,andtherewasagroupofguyswhodidnothingbutstudy,andneverwenttothedances.JustbeforeIcametothefraternitytheyhadhadabigmeetingandhadmadeanimportantcompromise.Theyweregoingtogettogetherandhelpeachotherout.Everyonehadtohaveagradelevelofatleastsuch-and-such.Iftheywereslidingbehind,theguyswhostudiedallthetimewouldteachthemandhelpthemdotheirwork.Ontheotherside,everybodyhadtogotoeverydance.Ifaguydidn'tknowhowtogetadate,theotherguyswouldgethimadate.Iftheguydidn'tknowhowtodance,they'dteachhimtodance.Onegroupwasteachingtheotherhowtothink,whiletheotherguyswereteachingthemhowtobesocial.Thatwasjustrightforme,becauseIwasnotverygoodsocially.IwassotimidthatwhenIhadtotakethemailoutandwalkpastsomeseniorssittingonthestepswithsomegirls,Iwaspetrified:Ididn'tknowhowtowalkpastthem!Anditdidn'thelpanywhenagirlwouldsay,"Oh,he's

cute!"Itwasonlyalittlewhileafterthatthesophomoresbroughttheirgirlfriendsandtheirgirlfriends'friendsovertoteachustodance.Muchlater,oneoftheguystaughtmehowtodrivehiscar.Theyworkedveryhardtogetusintellectualcharacterstosocializeandbemorerelaxed,andviceversa.Itwasagoodbalancingout.Ihadsomedifficultyunderstandingwhatexactlyitmeanttobe"social."Soonafterthesesocialguyshadtaughtmehowtomeetgirls,IsawanicewaitressinarestaurantwhereIwaseatingbymyselfoneday.WithgreateffortIfinallygotupenoughnervetoaskhertobemydateatthenextfraternitydance,andshesaidyes.Backatthefraternity,whenweweretalkingaboutthedatesforthenextdance,ItoldtheguysIdidn'tneedadatethistime--Ihadfoundoneonmyown.Iwasveryproudofmyself.Whentheupperclassmenfoundoutmydatewasawaitress,theywerehorrified.Theytoldmethatwasnotpossible;theywouldgetmea"proper"date.TheymademefeelasthoughIhadstrayed,thatIwasamiss.Theydecidedtotakeoverthesituation.Theywenttotherestaurant,foundthewaitress,talkedheroutofit,andgotmeanothergirl.Theyweretryingtoeducatetheir"waywardson,"sotospeak,buttheywerewrong,Ithink.Iwasonlyafreshmanthen,andIdidn'thaveenoughconfidenceyettostopthemfrombreakingmydate.WhenIbecameapledgetheyhadvariouswaysofhazing.Oneofthethingstheydidwastotakeus,blindfolded,faroutintothecountrysideinthedeadofwinterandleaveusbyafrozenlakeaboutahundredfeetapart.Wewereinthemiddleofabsolutelynowhere--nohouses,nonothing--andweweresupposedtofindourwaybacktothefraternity.Wewerealittlebitscared,becausewewereyoung,andwedidn'tsaymuch--exceptforoneguy,whosenamewasMauriceMeyer:youcouldn'tstophimfromjokingaround,makingdumbpuns,andhavingthishappy-go-luckyattitudeof"Ha,ha,there'snothingtoworryabout.Isn'tthisfun!"WeweregettingmadatMaurice.Hewasalwayswalkingalittlebitbehindandlaughingatthewholesituation,whiletherestofusdidn'tknowhowwewereevergoingtogetoutofthis.Wecametoanintersectionnotfarfromthelake--therewerestillnohousesoranything--andtherestofuswerediscussingwhetherweshouldgothiswayorthatway,whenMauricecaughtuptousandsaid,"Gothisway."

"Whatthehelldoyouknow,Maurice?"wesaid,frustrated."You'realwaysmakingthesejokes.Whyshouldwegothisway?""Simple:Lookatthetelephonelines.Wherethere'smorewires,it'sgoingtowardthecentralstation."Thisguy,wholookedlikehewasn'tpayingattentiontoanything,hadcomeupwithaterrificidea!Wewalkedstraightintotownwithoutmakinganerror.Onthefollowingdaytherewasgoingtobeaschoolwidefreshmanversussophomoremudeo(variousformsofwrestlingandtugofwarsthattakeplaceinthemud).Lateintheevening,intoourfraternitycomesawholebunchofsophomores--somefromourfraternityandsomefromoutside--andtheykidnapus:theywantustobetiredthenextdaysotheycanwin.Thesophomorestiedupallthefreshmenrelativelyeasily--exceptme.Ididn'twanttheguysinthefraternitytofindoutthatIwasa"sissy."(Iwasneveranygoodinsports.Iwasalwaysterrifiedifatennisballwouldcomeoverthefenceandlandnearme,becauseInevercouldgetitoverthefence-itusuallywentaboutaradianoffofwhereitwassupposedtogo.)Ifiguredthiswasanewsituation,anewworld,andIcouldmakeanewreputation.SoinorderthatIwouldn'tlooklikeIdidn'tknowhowtofight,IfoughtlikeasonofagunasbestIcould(notknowingwhatIwasdoing),

andittookthreeorfourguysmanytriesbeforetheywerefinallyabletotiemeup.Thesophomorestookustoahouse,farawayinthewoods,andtiedusalldowntoawoodenfloorwithbigUtacks.Itriedallsortsofwaystoescape,butthereweresophomoresguardingus,andnoneofmytricksworked.Irememberdistinctlyoneyoungmantheywereafraidtotiedownbecausehewassoterrified:hisfacewaspaleyellowgreenandhewasshaking.IfoundoutlaterhewasfromEurope-thiswasintheearlythirties--andhedidn'trealizethattheseguysalltieddowntothefloorwassomekindofajoke;heknewwhatkindsofthingsweregoingoninEurope.Theguywasfrighteningtolookat,hewassoscared.Bythetimethenightwasover,therewereonlythreesophomoresguardingtwentyofusfreshmen,butwedidn'tknowthat.Thesophomoreshaddriventheircarsinandoutafewtimestomakeitsoundasiftherewasalotofactivity,andwedidn'tnoticeitwasalwaysthesamecarsandthesamepeople.Sowedidn'twinthatone.MyfatherandmotherhappenedtocomeupthatmorningtoseehowtheirsonwasdoinginBoston,andthefraternitykeptputtingthemoffuntil

wecamebackfrombeingkidnapped.IwassobedraggledanddirtyfromstrugglingsohardtoescapeandfromlackofsleepthattheywerereallyhorrifiedtodiscoverwhattheirsonlookedlikeatMIT!Ihadalsogottenastiffneck,andIrememberstandinginlineforinspectionthatafternoonatROTC,notbeingabletolookstraightforward.Thecommandergrabbedmyheadandturnedit,shouting,"Straightenup!"Iwinced,asmyshoulderswentatanangle:"Ican'thelpit,sir!"Oh,excuseme!"hesaid,apologetically.Anyway,thefactthatIfoughtsolongandhardnottobetiedupgavemeaterrificreputation,andIneverhadtoworryaboutthatsissybusinessagain--atremendousrelief.Ioftenlistenedtomyroommates--theywerebothseniors--studyingfortheirtheoreticalphysicscourse.Onedaytheywereworkingprettyhardonsomethingthatseemedprettycleartome,soIsaid,"Whydon'tyouusetheBernoulli'sequation?""What'sthat!"theyexclaimed."Whatareyoutalkingabout!"IexplainedtothemwhatImeantandhowitworkedinthiscase,anditsolvedtheproblem.ItturnedoutitwasBernoulli'sequationthatImeant,butIhadreadallthisstuffintheencyclopediawithouttalkingtoanybodyaboutit,soIdidn'tknowhowtopronounceanything.Butmyroommateswereveryexcited,andfromthenontheydiscussedtheirphysicsproblemswithme--Iwasn'tsoluckywithmanyofthem--andthenextyear,whenItookthecourse,Iadvancedrapidly.Thatwasaverygoodwaytogeteducated,workingontheseniorproblemsandlearninghowtopronouncethings.IlikedtogotoaplacecalledtheRaymorandPlaymoreBallroom--twoballroomsthatwereconnectedtogether--onTuesdaynights.Myfraternitybrothersdidn'tgotothese"open"dances;theypreferredtheirowndances,wherethegirlstheybroughtwereuppercrustonestheyhadmet"properly."Ididn'tcare,whenImetsomebody,wheretheywerefrom,orwhattheirbackgroundwas,soIwouldgotothesedances--eventhoughmyfraternitybrothersdisapproved(Iwasajuniorbythistime,andtheycouldn'tstopme)--andIhadaverygoodtime.OnetimeIdancedwithacertaingirlafewtimes,anddidn'tsaymuch.Finally,shesaidtome,"Whohantsvewwynice-ee."Icouldn'tquitemakeitout--shehadsomedifficultyinspeech--butIthoughtshesaid,"Youdanceverynicely."

"Thankyou,"Isaid."It'sbeenanhonor."Wewentovertoatablewhereafriendofhershadfoundaboyshewasdancingwithandwesat,thefourofus,together.Onegirlwasveryhardofhearing,andtheothergirlwasnearlydeaf.Whenthetwogirlsconversedtheywoulddoalargeamountofsignalingveryrapidlybackandforth,andgruntalittlebit.Itdidn'tbotherme;thegirldancedwell,andshewasaniceperson.Afterafewmoredances,we'resittingatthetableagain,andthere'salargeamountofsignalingbackandforth,backandforth,backandforth,untilfinallyshesayssomethingtomewhichIgatheredmeans,she'dlikeustotakethemtosomehotel.Iasktheotherguyifhewantstogo."Whatdotheywantustogotothishotelfor?"heasks."Hell,Idon'tknow.Wedidn'ttalkwellenough!"ButIdon'thavetoknow.It'sjustfun,seeingwhat'sgoingtohappen;it'sanadventure!Theotherguy'safraid,sohesaysno.SoItakethetwogirlsinataxitothehotel,anddiscoverthatthere'sadanceorganizedbythedeafanddumb,believeitornot.Theyallbelongedtoaclub.Itturnsoutmanyofthemcanfeeltherhythmenoughtodancetothemusicandapplaudthebandattheendofeachnumber.Itwasvery,veryinteresting!IfeltasifIwasinaforeigncountryandcouldn'tspeakthelanguage:Icouldspeak,butnobodycouldhearme.Everybodywastalkingwithsignstoeverybodyelse,andIcouldn'tunderstandanything!IaskedmygirltoteachmesomesignsandIlearnedafew,likeyoulearnaforeignlanguage,justforfun.Everyonewassohappyandrelaxedwitheachother,makingjokesandsmilingallthetime;theydidn'tseemtohaveanyrealdifficultyofanykindcommunicatingwitheachother.Itwasthesameaswithanyotherlanguage,exceptforonething:asthey'remakingsignstoeachother,theirheadswerealwaysturningfromonesidetotheother.Irealizedwhatthatwas.Whensomeonewantstomakeasideremarkorinterruptyou,hecan'tyell,"Hey,Jack!"Hecanonlymakeasignal,whichyouwon'tcatchunlessyou'reinthehabitoflookingaroundallthetime.Theywerecompletelycomfortablewitheachother.Itwasmyproblemtobecomfortable.Itwasawonderfulexperience.

Thedancewentonforalongtime,andwhenitcloseddownwewenttoacafeteria.Theywereallorderingthingsbypointingtothem.Iremembersomebodyaskinginsigns,"Where-are-you-from?"andmygirlspellingout"N-e-wY-o-r-k."Istillrememberaguysigningtome"Goodsport!"--heholdshisthumbup,andthentouchesanimaginarylapel,for"sport."It'sanicesystem.Everybodywassittingaround,makingjokes,andgettingmeintotheirworldverynicely.Iwantedtobuyabottleofmilk,soIwentuptotheguyatthecounterandmouthedtheword"milk"withoutsayinganything.Theguydidn'tunderstand.Imadethesymbolfor"milk,"whichistwofistsmovingasifyou'remilkingacow,andhedidn'tcatchthateither.Itriedtopointtothesignthatshowedthepriceofmilk,buthestilldidn'tcatchon.Finally,somestrangernearbyorderedmilk,andIpointedtoit."Oh!Milk!"hesaid,asInoddedmyheadyes.Hehandedmethebottle,andIsaid,"Thankyouverymuch!""YouSONofaGUN!"hesaid,smiling.IoftenlikedtoplaytricksonpeoplewhenIwasatMIT.Onetime,inmechanicaldrawingclass,somejokerpickedupaFrenchcurve(apieceofplasticfordrawingsmoothcurves--acurly,funny-lookingthing)andsaid,"Iwonderifthecurvesonthisthinghavesomespecialformula?"Ithoughtforamomentandsaid,"Suretheydo.Thecurvesareveryspecialcurves.Lemmeshowya,"andIpickedupmyFrenchcurveandbegantoturnitslowly."TheFrenchcurveismadesothatatthelowestpointoneachcurve,nomatterhowyouturnit,thetangentishorizontal."AlltheguysintheclasswereholdingtheirFrenchcurveupatdifferentangles,holdingtheirpenciluptoitatthelowestpointandlayingitalong,anddiscoveringthat,sureenough,thetangentishorizontal.Theywereallexcitedbythis"discovery"--eventhoughtheyhadalreadygonethroughacertainamountofcalculusandhadalready"learned"thatthederivative(tangent)oftheminimum(lowestpoint)ofanycurveiszero(horizontal).Theydidn'tputtwoandtwotogether.Theydidn'tevenknowwhatthey"knew."Idon'tknowwhat'sthematterwithpeople:theydon'tlearnbyunderstanding;theylearnbysomeotherway--byrote,orsomething.Theirknowledgeissofragile!

IdidthesamekindoftrickfouryearslateratPrincetonwhenIwastalkingwithanexperiencedcharacter,anassistantofEinstein,whowassurelyworkingwithgravityallthetime.Igavehimaproblem:Youblastoffinarocketwhichhasaclockonboard,andthere'saclockontheground.Theideaisthatyouhavetobebackwhentheclockonthegroundsaysonehourhaspassed.Nowyouwantitsothatwhenyoucomeback,yourclockisasfaraheadaspossible.AccordingtoEinstein,ifyougoveryhigh,yourclockwillgofaster,becausethehighersomethingisinagravitationalfield,thefasteritsclockgoes.Butifyoutrytogotoohigh,sinceyou'veonlygotanhour,youhavetogosofasttogettherethatthespeedslowsyourclockdown.Soyoucan'tgotoohigh.Thequestionis,exactlywhatprogramofspeedandheightshouldyoumakesothatyougetthemaximumtimeonyourclock?ThisassistantofEinsteinworkedonitforquiteabitbeforeherealizedthattheansweristherealmotionofmatter.Ifyoushootsomethingupinanormalway,sothatthetimeittakestheshelltogoupandcomedownisanhour,that'sthecorrectmotion.It'sthefundamentalprincipleofEinstein'sgravity--thatis,what'scalledthe"propertime"isatamaximumfortheactualcurve.ButwhenIputittohim,aboutarocketwithaclock,hedidn'trecognizeit.Itwasjustliketheguysinmechanicaldrawingclass,butthistimeitwasn'tdumbfreshmen.Sothiskindoffragilityis,infact,fairlycommon,evenwithmorelearnedpeople.WhenIwasajuniororseniorIusedtoeatatacertainrestaurantinBoston.Iwenttherebymyself,oftenonsuccessiveevenings.Peoplegottoknowme,andIhadthesamewaitressallthetime.Inoticedthattheywerealwaysinahurry,rushingaround,sooneday,justforfun,Ileftmytip,whichwasusuallytencents(normalforthosedays),intwonickels,undertwoglasses:Ifilledeachglasstotheverytop,droppedanickelin,andwithacardoverit,turneditoversoitwasupsidedownonthetable.ThenIslippedoutthecard(nowaterleaksoutbecausenoaircancomein--therimistooclosetothetableforthat).IputthetipundertwoglassesbecauseIknewtheywerealwaysinahurry.Ifthetipwasadimeinoneglass,thewaitress,inherhastetogetthetablereadyforthenextcustomer,wouldpickuptheglass,thewaterwouldspillout,andthatwouldbetheendofit.Butaftershedoesthatwiththefirstglass,whatthehellisshegoingtodowiththesecondone?Shecan'tjusthavethenervetoliftitupnow!OnthewayoutIsaidtomywaitress,"Becareful,Sue.There'ssomethingfunnyabouttheglassesyougaveme--they'refilledinonthetop,andthere'saholeonthebottom!"

ThenextdayIcameback,andIhadanewwaitress.Myregularwaitresswouldn'thaveanythingtodowithme."Sue'sveryangryatyou,"mynewwaitresssaid."Aftershepickedupthefirstglassandwaterwentallovertheplace,shecalledthebossout.Theystudieditalittlebit,buttheycouldn'tspendalldayfiguringoutwhattodo,sotheyfinallypickeduptheotherone,andwaterwentoutagain,alloverthefloor.Itwasaterriblemess;Sueslippedlaterinthewater.They'reallmadatyou."Ilaughed.Shesaid,"It'snotfunny!Howwouldyoulikeitifsomeonedidthattoyou--whatwouldyoudo?""I'dgetasoupplateandthenslidetheglassverycarefullyovertotheedgeofthetable,andletthewaterrunintothesoupplate--itdoesn'thavetorunontothefloor.ThenI'dtakethenickelout.""Oh,that'sagooodidea,"shesaid.ThateveningIleftmytipunderacoffeecup,whichIleftupsidedownonthetable.

ThenextnightIcameandIhadthesamenewwaitress."What'stheideaofleavingthecupupsidedownlasttime?""Well,Ithoughtthateventhoughyouwereinahurry,you'dhavetogobackintothekitchenandgetasoupplate;thenyou'dhavetosloooowlyandcarefullyslidethecupovertotheedgeofthetable...""Ididthat,"shecomplained,"buttherewasnowaterinit!"Mymasterpieceofmischiefhappenedatthefraternity.OnemorningIwokeupveryearly,aboutfiveo'clock,andcouldn'tgobacktosleep,soIwentdownstairsfromthesleepingroomsanddiscoveredsomesignshangingonstringswhichsaidthingslike"DOOR!DOOR!WHOSTOLETHEDOOR?"Isawthatsomeonehadtakenadooroffitshinges,andinitsplacetheyhungasignthatsaid,"PLEASECLOSETHEDOOR!"--thesignthatusedtobeonthedoorthatwasmissing.Iimmediatelyfiguredoutwhattheideawas.InthatroomaguynamedPeteBernaysandacoupleofotherguyslikedtoworkveryhard,andalwayswanteditquiet.Ifyouwanderedintotheirroomlookingforsomething,ortoaskthemhowtheydidproblemsuchandsuch,whenyouwould

leaveyouwouldalwaysheartheseguysscream,"Pleaseclosethedoor!"Somebodyhadgottentiredofthis,nodoubt,andhadtakenthedooroff.Nowthisroom,itsohappened,hadtwodoors,thewayitwasbuilt,soIgotanidea:Itooktheotherdooroffitshinges,carrieditdownstairs,andhiditinthebasementbehindtheoiltank.ThenIquietlywentbackupstairsandwenttobed.LaterinthemorningImadebelieveIwokeupandcamedownstairsalittlelate.Theotherguysweremillingaround,andPeteandhisfriendswereallupset:Thedoorstotheirroomweremissing,andtheyhadtostudy,blah,blah,blah,blah.Iwascomingdownthestairsandtheysaid,"Feynman!Didyoutakethedoors?""Oh,yeah!"Isaid."Itookthedoor.Youcanseethescratchesonmyknuckleshere,thatIgotwhenmyhandsscrapedagainstthewallasIwascarryingitdownintothebasement."Theyweren'tsatisfiedwithmyanswer;infact,theydidn'tbelieveme.Theguyswhotookthefirstdoorhadleftsomanyclues--thehandwritingonthesigns,forinstance--thattheyweresoonfoundout.Myideawasthatwhenitwasfoundoutwhostolethefirstdoor,everybodywouldthinktheyalsostoletheotherdoor.Itworkedperfectly:Theguyswhotookthefirstdoorwerepummeledandtorturedandworkedonbyeverybody,untilfinally,withmuchpainanddifficulty,theyconvincedtheirtormentorsthattheyhadonlytakenonedoor,unbelievableasitmightbe.Ilistenedtoallthis,andIwashappy.Theotherdoorstayedmissingforawholeweek,anditbecamemoreandmoreimportanttotheguyswhoweretryingtostudyinthatroomthattheotherdoorbefound.Finally,inordertosolvetheproblem,thepresidentofthefraternitysaysatthedinnertable,"Wehavetosolvethisproblemoftheotherdoor.Ihaven'tbeenabletosolvetheproblemmyself,soIwouldlikesuggestionsfromtherestofyouastohowtostraightenthisout,becausePeteandtheothersaretryingtostudy."Somebodymakesasuggestion,thensomeoneelse.Afteralittlewhile,Igetupandmakeasuggestion."Allright,"Isayinasarcasticvoice,"whoeveryouarewhostolethedoor,weknowyou're

wonderful.You'resoclever!Wecan'tfigureoutwhoyouare,soyoumustbesomesortofsuper-genius.Youdon'thavetotelluswhoyouare;allwewanttoknowiswherethedooris.Soifyouwillleaveanotesomewhere,tellinguswherethedooris,wewillhonoryouandadmitforeverthatyouareasuper-marvel,thatyouaresosmartthatyoucouldtaketheotherdoorwithoutourbeingabletofigureoutwhoyouare.ButforGod'ssake,justleavethenotesomewhere,andwewillbeforevergratefultoyouforit."Thenextguymakeshissuggestion:"Ihaveanotheridea,"hesays."Ithinkthatyou,aspresident,shouldaskeachmanonhiswordofhonortowardsthefraternitytosaywhetherhetookthedoorornot."Thepresidentsays,"That'saverygoodidea.Onthefraternitywordofhonor!"Sohegoesaroundthetable,andaskseachguy,onebyone:"Jack,didyoutakethedoor?""No,sir,Ididnottakethedoor.""Tim:Didyoutakethedoor?""No,sir!Ididnottakethedoor!""Maurice.Didyoutakethedoor?""No,Ididnottakethedoor,sir.""Feynman,didyoutakethedoor?""Yeah,Itookthedoor.""Cutitout,Feynman;thisisserious!Sam!Didyoutakethedoor..."--itwentallthewayaround.Everyonewasshocked.Theremustbesomerealratinthefraternitywhodidn'trespectthefraternitywordofhonor!ThatnightIleftanotewithalittlepictureoftheoiltankandthedoornexttoit,andthenextdaytheyfoundthedoorandputitback.

SometimelaterIfinallyadmittedtotakingtheotherdoor,andIwasaccusedbyeverybodyoflying.Theycouldn'trememberwhatIhadsaid.Alltheycouldrememberwastheirconclusionafterthepresidentofthefraternityhadgonearoundthetableandaskedeverybody,thatnobodyadmittedtakingthedoor.Theideatheyremembered,butnotthewords.

PeopleoftenthinkI'mafaker,butI'musuallyhonest,inacertainway--insuchawaythatoftennobodybelievesme!

LatinorItalian?TherewasanItalianradiostationinBrooklyn,andasaboyIusedtolistentoitallthetime.ILOVedtheROLLingSOUNdsgoingoverme,asifIwasintheocean,andthewavesweren'tveryhigh.Iusedtositthereandhavethewatercomeoverme,inthisBEAUtifuliTALian.IntheItalianprogramstherewasalwayssomekindoffamilysituationwheretherewerediscussionsandargumentsbetweenthemotherandfather:Highvoice:"NiotecoTIEtocapetoTUtto..."Loud,lowvoice:"DROtonepalaTUtto!!"(withhandslapping).Itwasgreat!SoIlearnedtomakealltheseemotions:Icouldcry;Icouldlaugh;allthisstuff.Italianisalovelylanguage.TherewereanumberofItalianpeoplelivingnearusinNewYork.OncewhileIwasridingmybicycle,someItaliantruckdrivergotupsetatme,leanedoutofhistruck,and,gesturing,yelledsomethinglike,"MeaRRUchaLAMpeettaTiche!"Ifeltlikeacrapper.Whatdidhesaytome?WhatshouldIyellback?SoIaskedanItalianfriendofmineatschool,andhesaid,"Justsay,'Ate!Ate!'--whichmeans'Thesametoyou!Thesametoyou!"Ithoughtitwasagreatidea.Iwouldsay'Ate!Ate!"back--gesturing,ofcourse.Then,asIgainedconfidence,Idevelopedmyabilitiesfurther.Iwouldberidingmybicycle,andsomeladywouldbedrivinginhercarandgetintheway,andI'dsay,"PUzziaalamaLOche!"--andshe'dshrink!SometerribleItalianboyhadcursedaterriblecurseather!ItwasnotsoeasytorecognizeitasfakeItalian.Once,whenIwasatPrinceton,asIwasgoingintotheparkinglotatPalmerLaboratoryonmybicycle,somebodygotintheway.Myhabitwasalwaysthesame:Igesturetotheguy,"oREzzecaBONcaMIche!",slappingthebackofonehandagainsttheother.Andwayupontheothersideofalongareaofgrass,there'sanItaliangardenerputtinginsomeplants.Hestops,waves,andshoutshappily,"REzzamaLIa!"Icallback,"RONteBALta!",returningthegreeting.Hedidn'tknowIdidn'tknow,andIdidn'tknowwhathesaid,andhedidn'tknowwhatI

said.ButitwasOK!Itwasgreat!Itworks!Afterall,whentheyheartheintonation,theyrecognizeitimmediatelyasItalian--maybeit'sMilanoinsteadofRomano,whatthehell.Buthe'saniTALian!Soit'sjustgreat.Butyouhavetohaveabsoluteconfidence.Keeprightongoing,andnothingwillhappen.OnetimeIcamehomefromcollegeforavacation,andmysisterwassortofunhappy,almostcrying:herGirlScoutswerehavingafather-daughterbanquet,butourfatherwasoutontheroad,sellinguniforms.SoIsaidIwouldtakeher,beingthebrother(I'mnineyearsolder,soitwasn'tsocrazy).Whenwegotthere,Isatamongthefathersforawhile,butsoonbecamesickofthem.Allthesefathersbringtheirdaughterstothisnicelittlebanquet,andalltheytalkedaboutwasthestockmarket--theydon'tknowhowtotalktotheirownchildren,muchlesstheirchildren'sfriends.Duringthebanquetthegirlsentertainedusbydoinglittleskits,recitingpoetry,andsoon.Thenallofasuddentheybringoutthisfunny-lookingapronlikething,withaholeatthetoptoputyourheadthrough.Thegirlsannouncethatthefathersarenowgoingtoentertainthem.Soeachfatherhastogetupandstickhisheadthroughandsaysomething--oneguyrecites"MaryHadaLittleLamb"--andtheydon'tknowwhattodo.Ididn'tknowwhattodoeither,butbythetimeIgotupthere,ItoldthemthatIwasgoingtorecitealittlepoem,andI'msorrythatit'snotinEnglish,butI'msuretheywillappreciateitanyway:ATUZZOLANTOPoicidiPareTANtoSAcaTULnaTI,naPUtaTUchiPUtiTIla.RUNtoCAtaCHANtoCHANtaMANtoCHIlaTIda.YALtaCAraSULdaMIlaCHAtaPichaPinoTitoBRALdapeteCHInananaCHUNdalalaCHINdalalaCHUNda!RONtopitiCAle,aTANtoCHINtoquintaLALdaolaTiNtadallaLALta,YENtaPUchalallaTALta!Idothisforthreeorfourstanzas,goingthroughalltheemotionsthatIheardonItalianradio,andthekidsareunraveled,rollingintheaisles,

laughingwithhappiness.Afterthebanquetwasover,thescoutmasterandaschoolteachercameoverandtoldmetheyhadbeendiscussingmypoem.OneofthemthoughtitwasItalian,andtheotherthoughtitwasLatin.Theschoolteacherasks,"Whichoneofusisright?"Isaid,"You'llhavetogoaskthegirls--theyunderstoodwhatlanguageitwasrightaway."

AlwaysTryingtoEscapeWhenIwasastudentatMITIwasinterestedonlyinscience;Iwasnogoodatanythingelse.ButatMITtherewasarule:Youhavetotakesomehumanitiescoursestogetmore"culture."BesidestheEnglishclassesrequiredweretwoelectives,soIlookedthroughthelist,andrightawayIfoundastronomy--asahumanitiescourse!SothatyearIescapedwithastronomy.ThennextyearIlookedfurtherdownthelist,pastFrenchliteratureandcourseslikethat,andfoundphilosophy.ItwastheclosestthingtoscienceIcouldfind.BeforeItellyouwhathappenedinphilosophy,letmetellyouabouttheEnglishclass.Wehadtowriteanumberofthemes.Forinstance,Millhadwrittensomethingonliberty,andwehadtocriticizeit.Butinsteadofaddressingmyselftopoliticalliberty,asMilldid,Iwroteaboutlibertyinsocialoccasions--theproblemofhavingtofakeandlieinordertobepolite,anddoesthisperpetualgameoffakinginsocialsituationsleadtothe"destructionofthemoralfiberofsociety."Aninterestingquestion,butnottheoneweweresupposedtodiscuss.AnotheressaywehadtocriticizewasbyHuxley,"OnaPieceofChalk,"inwhichhedescribeshowanordinarypieceofchalkheisholdingistheremainsfromanimalbones,andtheforcesinsidetheearthlifteditupsothatitbecamepartoftheWhiteCliffs,andthenitwasquarriedandisnowusedtoconveideasthroughwritingontheblackboard.Butagain,insteadofcriticizingtheessayassignedtous,Iwroteaparodycalled,"OnaPieceofDust,"abouthowdustmakesthecolorsofthesunsetandprecipitatestherain,andsoon.Iwasalwaysafaker,alwaystryingtoescape.ButwhenwehadtowriteathemeonGoethe'sFaust,itwashopeless!Theworkwastoolongtomakeaparodyofitortoinventsomethingelse.Iwasstormingbackandforthinthefraternitysaying,"Ican'tdoit.I'mjustnotgonnadoit.Iain'tgonnadoit!"Oneofmyfraternitybrotherssaid,"OK,Feynman,you'renotgonnadoit.Buttheprofessorwillthinkyoudidn'tdoitbecauseyoudon'twantto

dothework.Yououghtawriteathemeonsomething--samenumberofwords--andhanditinwithanotesayingthatyoujustcouldn'tunderstandtheFaust,youhaven'tgottheheartforit,andthatit'simpossibleforyoutowriteathemeonit."SoIdidthat.Iwrotealongtheme,"OntheLimitationsofReason."Ihadthoughtaboutscientifictechniquesforsolvingproblems,andhowtherearecertainlimitations:moralvaluescannotbedecidedbyscientificmethods,yak,yak,yak,andsoon.Thenanotherfraternitybrotherofferedsomemoreadvice."Feynman,"hesaid,"itain'tgonnawork,handinginathemethat'sgotnothingtodowithFaust.WhatyououghtadoisworkthatthingyouwroteintotheFaust.""Ridiculous!"Isaid.Buttheotherfraternityguysthinkit'sagoodidea."Allright,allright!"Isay,protesting."I'lltry."SoIaddedhalfapagetowhat1hadalreadywritten,andsaidthatMephistophelesrepresentsreason,andFaustrepresentsthespirit,andGoetheistryingtoshowthelimitationsofreason.Istirreditup,crankeditallin,andhandedinmytheme.Theprofessorhaduseachcomeinindividuallytodiscussourtheme.Iwentinexpectingtheworst.Hesaid,"Theintroductorymaterialisfine,buttheFaustmaterialisabittoobrief.Otherwise,it'sverygood--B+."Iescapedagain!Nowtothephilosophyclass.ThecoursewastaughtbyanoldbeardedprofessornamedRobinson,whoalwaysmumbled.Iwouldgototheclass,andhewouldmumblealong,andIcouldn'tunderstandathing.Theotherpeopleintheclassseemedtounderstandhimbetter,buttheydidn'tseemtopayanyattention.Ihappenedtohaveasmalldrill,aboutone-sixteenth-inch,andtopassthetimeinthatclass,Iwouldtwistitbetweenmyfingersanddrillholesinthesoleofmyshoe,weekafterweek.Finallyonedayattheendoftheclass,ProfessorRobinsonwent"wuggamuggamuggawuggawugga...andeverybodygotexcited!Theywerealltalkingtoeachotheranddiscussing,soIfiguredhe'dsaidsomethinginteresting,thankGod!Iwonderedwhatitwas?Iaskedsomebody,andtheysaid,"Wehavetowriteatheme,andhanditininfourweeks.""Athemeonwhat?""Onwhathe'sbeentalkingaboutallyear."

Iwasstuck.TheonlythingthatIhadheardduringthatentiretermthatIcouldrememberwasamomentwhentherecamethisupwelling,"muggawuggastreamofconsciousnessmuggawugga,"andphoom!--itsankbackintochaos.This"streamofconsciousness"remindedmeofaproblemmyfatherhadgiventomemanyyearsbefore.Hesaid,"SupposesomeMartiansweretocomedowntoearth,andMartiansneverslept,butinsteadwereperpetuallyactive.Supposetheydidn'thavethiscrazyphenomenonthatwehave,calledsleep.Sotheyaskyouthequestion:'Howdoesitfeeltogotosleep?Whathappenswhenyougotosleep?Doyourthoughtssuddenlystop,ordotheymovelessaannddlleeessssrraaaaapppppiidddddllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?Howdoesthemindactuallyturnoff?"Igotinterested.NowIhadtoanswerthisquestion:Howdoesthestreamofconsciousnessend,whenyougotosleep?SoeveryafternoonforthenextfourweeksIwouldworkonmytheme,Iwouldpulldowntheshadesinmyroom,turnoffthelights,andgotosleep.AndI'dwatchwhathappened,whenIwenttosleep.Thenatnight,I'dgotosleepagain,soIhadtwotimeseachdaywhenIcouldmakeobservations--itwasverygood!AtfirstInoticedalotofsubsidiarythingsthathadlittletodowithfallingasleep.Inoticed,forinstance,thatIdidalotofthinkingbyspeakingtomyselfinternally.Icouldalsoimaginethingsvisually.Then,whenIwasgettingtired,InoticedthatIcouldthinkoftwothingsatonce.IdiscoveredthiswhenIwastalkinginternallytomyselfaboutsomething,andwhileIwasdoingthis,Iwasidlyimaginingtworopesconnectedtotheendofmybed,goingthroughsomepulleys,andwinding

aroundaturningcylinder,slowlyliftingthebed.Iwasn'tawarethatIwasimaginingtheseropesuntilIbegantoworrythatoneropewouldcatchontheotherrope,andtheywouldn'twindupsmoothly.ButIsaid,internally,"Oh,thetensionwilltakecareofthat,"andthisinterruptedthefirstthoughtIwashaving,andmademeawarethatIwasthinkingoftwothingsatonce.Ialsonoticedthatasyougotosleeptheideascontinue,buttheybecomelessandlesslogicallyinterconnected.Youdon'tnoticethatthey'renotlogicallyconnecteduntilyouaskyourself,"Whatmademethinkofthat?"andyoutrytoworkyourwayback,andoftenyoucan'trememberwhatthehelldidmakeyouthinkofthat!Soyougeteveryillusionoflogicalconnection,buttheactualfactisthatthethoughtsbecomemoreandmorecockeyeduntilthey'recompletely

disjointed,andbeyondthat,youfallasleep.Afterfourweeksofsleepingallthetime,Iwrotemytheme,andexplainedtheobservationsIhadmade.AttheendofthethemeIpointedoutthatalloftheseobservationsweremadewhileIwaswatchingmyselffallasleep,andIdon'treallyknowwhatit'sliketofallasleepwhenI'mnotwatchingmyself.IconcludedthethemewithalittleverseImadeup,whichpointedoutthisproblemofintrospection:Iwonderwhy.Iwonderwhy.IwonderwhyIwonder.IwonderwhyIwonderwhyIwonderwhyIwonder!Wehandinourthemes,andthenexttimeourclassmeets,theprofessorreadsoneofthem:"Mumbumwuggamumbum..."Ican'ttellwhattheguywrote.Hereadsanothertheme:"Muggawuggamumbumwuggawugga..."Idon'tknowwhatthatguywroteeither,butattheendofit,hegoes:Uhwuggawuh.UhwuggawuhUhwuggawuggawugga.IwuggawuhuhwuggawuhUhwuggawuggawugga."Aha!"Isay."That'smytheme!"Ihonestlydidn'trecognizeituntiltheend.AfterIhadwrittenthethemeIcontinuedtobecurious,andIkeptpracticingthiswatchingmyselfasIwenttosleep.Onenight,whileIwashavingadream,IrealizedIwasobservingmyselfinthedream.Ihadgottenallthewaydownintothesleepitself!InthefirstpartofthedreamI'montopofatrainandwe'reapproachingatunnel.Igetscared,pullmyselfdown,andwegointothetunnel--whoosh!Isaytomyself,"Soyoucangetthefeelingoffear,andyoucanhearthesoundchangewhenyougointothetunnel."IalsonoticedthatIcouldseecolors.Somepeoplehadsaidthatyoudreaminblackandwhite,butno,Iwasdreamingincolor.BythistimeIwasinsideoneofthetraincars,andIcanfeelthetrainlurchingabout.Isaytomyself,"Soyoucangetkinestheticfeelingsina

dream."Iwalkwithsomedifficultydowntotheendofthecar,andIseeabigwindow,likeastorewindow.Behinditthereare-notmannequins,butthreelivegirlsinbathingsuits,andtheylookprettygood!Icontinuewalkingintothenextcar,hangingontothestrapsoverheadasIgo,whenIsaytomyself,"Hey!Itwouldbeinterestingtogetexcited--sexually--soIthinkI'llgobackintotheothercar."IdiscoveredthatIcouldturnaround,andwalkbackthroughthetrain--Icouldcontrolthedirectionofmydream.Igetbacktothecarwiththespecialwindow,andIseethreeoldguysplayingviolins--buttheyturnedbackintogirls!SoIcouldmodifythedirectionofmydream,butnotperfectly.Well,Ibegantogetexcited,intellectuallyaswellassexually,sayingthingslike,"Wow!It'sworking!"andIwokeup.Imadesomeotherobservationswhiledreaming.Apartfromalwaysaskingmyself,"AmIreallydreamingincolor?"Iwondered,"Howaccuratelydoyouseesomething?"ThenexttimeIhadadream,therewasagirllyingintallgrass,andshehadredhair.ItriedtoseeifIcouldseeeachhair.Youknowhowthere'salittleareaofcolorjustwherethesunisreflecting--thediffractioneffect,Icouldseethat!Icouldseeeachhairassharpasyouwant:perfectvision!AnothertimeIhadadreaminwhichathumbtackwasstuckinadoorframe.Iseethetack,runmyfingersdownthedoorframe,andIfeelthetack.Sothe"seeingdepartment"andthe"feelingdepartment"ofthebrainseemtobeconnected.ThenIsaytomyself,Coulditbethattheydon'thavetobeconnected?Ilookatthedoorframeagain,andthere'snothumbtack.Irunmyfingerdownthedoorframe,andIfeelthetack!AnothertimeI'mdreamingandIhear"knock-knock;knock-knock."Somethingwashappeninginthedreamthatmadethisknockingfit,butnotperfectly--itseemedsortofforeign.Ithought:"Absolutelyguaranteedthatthisknockingiscomingfromoutsidemydream,andI'veinventedthispartofthedreamtofitwithit.I'vegottowakeupandfindoutwhatthehellitis."Theknockingisstillgoing,Iwakeup,and...Deadsilence.Therewasnothing.Soitwasn'tconnectedtotheoutside.Otherpeoplehavetoldmethattheyhaveincorporatedexternalnoisesintotheirdreams,butwhenIhadthisexperience,carefully"watchingfrombelow,"andsurethenoisewascomingfromoutsidethedream,itwasn't.Duringthetimeofmakingobservationsinmydreams,theprocessofwakingupwasaratherfearfulone.Asyou'rebeginningtowakeupthere'samomentwhenyoufeelrigidandtieddown,orunderneathmanylayersofcottonbatting.It'shardtoexplain,butthere'samomentwhenyougetthe

feelingyoucan'tgetout;you'renotsureyoucanwakeup.SoIwouldhavetotellmyself--afterIwasawake--thatthat'sridiculous.There'snodiseaseIknowofwhereapersonfallsasleepnaturallyandcan'twakeup.Youcanalwayswakeup.Andaftertalkingtomyselfmanytimeslikethat,I

becamelessandlessafraid,andinfactIfoundtheprocessofwakingupratherthrilling--somethinglikearollercoaster:Afterawhileyou'renotsoscared,andyoubegintoenjoyitalittlebit.Youmightliketoknowhowthisprocessofobservingmydreamsstopped(whichithasforthemostpart;it'shappenedjustafewtimessince).I'mdreamingonenightasusual,makingobservations,andIseeonthewallinfrontofmeapennant.Ianswerforthetwenty-fifthtime,"Yes,I'mdreamingincolor,"andthenIrealizethatI'vebeensleepingwiththebackofmyheadagainstabrassrod.IputmyhandbehindmyheadandIfeelthatthebackofmyheadissoft.Ithink,"Aha!That'swhyI'vebeenabletomakealltheseobservationsinmydreams:thebrassrodhasdisturbedmyvisualcortex.AllIhavetodoissleepwithabrassrodundermyhead,andIcanmaketheseobservationsanytimeIwant.SoIthinkI'llstopmakingobservationsonthisone,andgointodeepersleep."WhenIwokeuplater,therewasnobrassrod,norwasthebackofmyheadsoft.SomehowIhadbecometiredofmakingtheseobservations,andmybrainhadinventedsomefalsereasonsastowhyIshouldn'tdoitanymore.AsaresultoftheseobservationsIbegantogetalittletheory.OneofthereasonsthatIlikedtolookatdreamswasthatIwascuriousastohowyoucanseeanimage,ofaperson,forexample,whenyoureyesareclosed,andnothing'scomingin.Yousayitmightberandom,irregularnervedischarges,butyoucan'tgetthenervestodischargeinexactlythesamedelicatepatternswhenyouaresleepingaswhenyouareawake,lookingatsomething.Wellthen,howcouldI"see"incolor,andinbetterdetail,whenIwasasleep?Idecidedtheremustbean"interpretationdepartment."Whenyouareactuallylookingatsomething--aman,alamp,orawall--youdon'tjustseeblotchesofcolor.Somethingtellsyouwhatitis;ithastobeinterpreted.Whenyou'redreaming,thisinterpretationdepartmentisstilloperating,butit'sallsloppedup.It'stellingyouthatyou'reseeingahumanhairinthegreatestdetail,whenitisn'ttrue.It'sinterpretingtherandomjunkenteringthebrainasaclearimage.Oneotherthingaboutdreams.IhadafriendnamedDeutsch,whosewifewasfromafamilyofpsychoanalystsinVienna.Oneevening,duringa

longdiscussionaboutdreams,hetoldmethatdreamshavesignificance:therearesymbolsindreamsthatcanbeinterpretedpsychoanalytically.Ididn'tbelievemostofthisstuff,butthatnightIhadaninterestingdream:We'replayingagameonabilliardtablewiththreeballs--awhiteball,agreenball,andagrayball--andthenameofthegameis"titsies."Therewassomethingabouttryingtogettheballsintothepocket:thewhiteballandthegreenballareeasytosinkintothepocket,butthegrayone,Ican'tgettoit.Iwakeup,andthedreamisveryeasytointerpret:thenameofthegamegivesitaway,ofcourse-them'sgirls!Thewhiteballwaseasytofigureout,becauseIwasgoingout,sneakily,withamarriedwomanwhoworkedatthetimeasacashierinacafeteriaandworeawhiteuniform.Thegreenonewasalsoeasy,becauseIhadgoneoutabouttwonightsbeforetoadrive-inmoviewithagirlinagreendress.Butthegrayone-whatthehellwasthegrayone?Iknewithadtobesomebody;Ifeltit.It'slikewhenyou'retryingtorememberaname,andit'sonthetipofyourtongue,hutyoucan'tgetit.IttookmehalfadaybeforeIrememberedthatIhadsaidgoodbyetoagirlIlikedverymuch,whohadgonetoItalyabouttwoorthreemonthsbefore.Shewasaverynicegirl,andIhaddecidedthatwhenshecamebackIwasgoingtoseeheragain.Idon'tknowifsheworeagraysuit,butitwasperfectlyclear,assoonasIthoughtofher,thatshewasthegrayone.IwentbacktomyfriendDeutsch,andItoldhimhemustberight--thereissomethingtoanalyzingdreams.Butwhenheheardaboutmyinterestingdream,hesaid,"No,thatonewastooperfect--toocutanddried.Usuallyyouhavetodoabitmoreanalysis."

TheChiefResearchChemistoftheMetaplastCorporationAfterIfinishedatMITIwantedtogetasummerjob.IhadappliedtwoorthreetimestotheBellLabs,andhadgoneoutafewtimestovisit.BillShockley,whoknewmefromthelabatMIT,wouldshowmearoundeachtime,andIenjoyedthosevisitsterrifically,butInevergotajobthere.Ihadlettersfromsomeofmyprofessorstotwospecificcompanies.OnewastotheBauschandLombCompanyfortracingraysthroughlenses;theotherwastoElectricalTestingLabsinNewYork.Atthattimenobodyknewwhataphysicistevenwas,andthereweren'tanypositionsinindustryforphysicists.Engineers,OK;butphysicists--nobodyknewhowtousethem.It'sinterestingthatverysoon,afterthewar,itwastheexactopposite:peoplewantedphysicistseverywhere.SoIwasn'tgettinganywhereasaphysicistlookingforajoblateintheDepression.

AboutthattimeImetanoldfriendofmineonthebeachatourhometownofFarRockaway,wherewegrewuptogether.Wehadgonetoschooltogetherwhenwewereaboutelevenortwelve,andwereverygoodfriends.Wewerebothscientificallyminded.Hehada"laboratory,"andIhada"laboratory."Weoftenplayedtogether,anddiscussedthingstogether.Weusedtoputonmagicshows--chemistrymagic--forthekidsontheblock.Myfriendwasaprettygoodshowman,andIkindoflikedthattoo.Wedidourtricksonalittletable,withBunsenburnersateachendgoingallthetime.Ontheburnerswehadwatchglassplates(flatglassdiscs)withiodineonthem,whichmadeabeautifulpurplevaporthatwentuponeachsideofthetablewhiletheshowwenton.Itwasgreat!Wedidalotoftricks,suchasturning"wine"intowater,andotherchemicalcolorchanges.Forourfinale,wedidatrickthatusedsomethingwhichwehaddiscovered.Iwouldputmyhands(secretly)firstintoasinkofwater,andthenintobenzine.ThenIwould"accidentally"brushbyoneoftheBunsenburners,andonehandwouldlightup.I'dclapmyhands,andbothhandswouldthenbeburning.(Itdoesn'thurtbecauseitburnsfastandthewaterkeepsitcool.)ThenI'dwavemyhands,runningaroundyelling,"FIRE!FIRE!"andeverybodywouldgetallexcited.They'drunoutoftheroom,andthatwastheendoftheshow!LateronItoldthisstoryatcollegetomyfraternitybrothersandtheysaid,"Nonsense!Youcan'tdothat!"(Ioftenhadthisproblemofdemonstratingtothesefellassomethingthattheydidn'tbelieve-likethetimewegotintoanargumentastowhetherurinejustranoutofyoubygravity,andIhadtodemonstratethatthatwasn'tthecasebyshowingthemthatyoucanpeestandingonyourhead.OrthetimewhensomebodyclaimedthatifyoutookaspirinandCoca-Colayou'dfalloverinadeadfaintdirectly.ItoldthemIthoughtitwasalotofbaloney,andofferedtotakeaspirinandCoca-Colatogether.ThentheygotintoanargumentwhetheryoushouldhavetheaspirinbeforetheCoke,justaftertheCoke,ormixedintheCoke.SoIhadsixaspirinandthreeCokes,onerightaftertheother.First,ItookaspirinsandthenaCoke,thenwedissolvedtwoaspirinsinaCokeandItookthat,andthenItookaCokeandtwoaspirins.Eachtimetheidiotswhobelieveditwerestandingaroundme,waitingtocatchmewhenIfainted.Butnothinghappened.IdorememberthatIdidn'tsleepverywellthatnight,soIgotupanddidalotoffiguring,andworkedoutsomeoftheformulasforwhatiscalledtheRiemann-Zetafunction.)"Allright,guys,"Isaid."Let'sgooutandgetsomebenzine."Theygotthebenzineready,Istuckmyhandinthewaterinthesinkandthenintothebenzineandlitit...andithurtlikehell!Yousee,inthe

meantimeIhadgrownhairsonthebackofmyhand,whichactedlikewicksandheldthebenzineinplacewhileitburned,whereaswhenIhaddoneitearlierIhadnohairsonthebackofmyhand.AfterIdidtheexperimentformyfraternitybrothers,Ididn'thaveanyhairsonthebackofmyhandseither.Well,mypalandImetonthebeach,andhetoldmethathehadaprocessformetal-platingplastics.Isaidthatwasimpossible,becausethere'snoconductivity;youcan'tattachawire.Buthesaidhecouldmetal-plateanything,andIstillrememberhimpickingupapeachpitthatwasinthesand,andsayinghecouldmetal-platethat--tryingtoimpressme.Whatwasnicewasthatheofferedmeajobathislittlecompany,whichwasonthetopfloorofabuildinginNewYork.Therewereonlyaboutfourpeopleinthecompany.Hisfatherwastheonewhowasgettingthemoneytogetherandwas,Ithink,the"president."Hewasthe"vice-president,"alongwithanotherfellawhowasasalesman.Iwasthe"chiefresearchchemist,"andmyfriend'sbrother,whowasnotveryclever,wasthebottle-washer.Wehadsixmetal-platingbaths.Theyhadthisprocessformetal-platingplastics,andtheschemewas:First,depositsilverontheobjectbyprecipitatingsilverfromasilvernitratebathwithareducingagent(likeyoumakemirrors);thensticktheobject,withsilveronitasaconductor,intoanelectroplatingbath,andthesilvergetsplated.Theproblemwas,doesthesilversticktotheobject?Itdoesn't.Itpeelsoffeasily.Sotherewasastepinbetween,tomakethesilverstickbettertotheobject.Itdependedonthematerial.ForthingslikeBakelite,whichwasanimportantplasticinthosedays,myfriendhadfoundthatifhesandblasteditfirst,andthensoakeditformanyhoursinstannoushydroxide,whichgotintotheporesoftheBakelite,thesilverwouldholdontothesurfaceverynicely.Butitworkedonlyonafewplastics,andnewkindsofplasticswerecomingoutallthetime,suchasmethylmethacrylate(whichwecallplexiglass,now),thatwecouldn'tplatedirectly,atfirst.Andcelluloseacetate,whichwasverycheap,wasanotheronewecouldn'tplateatfirst,thoughwefinallydiscoveredthatputtingitinsodiumhydroxideforalittlewhilebeforeusingthestannouschloridemadeitplateverywell.Iwasprettysuccessfulasa"chemist"inthecompany.Myadvantagewasthatmypalhaddonenochemistryatall;hehaddonenoexperiments;hejustknewhowtodosomethingonce.Isettoworkputtinglotsofdifferentknobsinbottles,andputtingallkindsofchemicalsin.Bytrying

everythingandkeepingtrackofeverythingIfoundwaysofplatingawiderrangeofplasticsthanhehaddonebefore.Iwasalsoabletosimplifyhisprocess.FromlookinginbooksIchangedthereducingagentfromglucosetoformaldehyde,andwasabletorecover100percentofthesilverimmediately,insteadofhavingtorecoverthesilverleftinsolutionatalatertime.Ialsogotthestannoushydroxidetodissolveinwaterbyaddingalittlebitofhydrochloricacid--somethingIrememberedfromacollegechemistrycourse--soastepthatusedtotakehoursnowtookaboutfiveminutes.

Myexperimentswerealwaysbeinginterruptedbythesalesman,whowouldcomebackwithsomeplasticfromaprospectivecustomer.I'dhaveallthesebottleslinedup,witheverythingmarked,whenallofasudden,"Yougottastoptheexperimenttodoa'superjob'forthesalesdepartment!"So,alotofexperimentshadtobestartedmorethanonce.Onetimewegotintoonehellofalotoftrouble.Therewassomeartistwhowastryingtomakeapictureforthecoverofamagazineaboutautomobiles.Hehadverycarefullybuiltawheeloutofplastic,andsomehoworotherthissalesmanhadtoldhimwecouldplateanything,sotheartistwantedustometal-platethehub,soitwouldbeashiny,silverhub.Thewheelwasmadeofanewplasticthatwedidn'tknowverywellhowtoplate--thefactis,thesalesmanneverknewwhatwecouldplate,sohewasalwayspromisingthings--anditdidn'tworkthefirsttime.So,tofixitupwehadtogettheoldsilveroff,andwecouldn'tgetitoffeasily.Idecidedtouseconcentratednitricacidonit,whichtookthesilveroffallright,butalsomadepitsandholesintheplastic.Wewerereallyinhotwaterthattime!Infact,wehadlotsof"hotwater"experiments.TheotherfellasinthecompanydecidedweshouldrunadvertisementsinModernPlasticsmagazine.Afewthingswemetal-platedwereverypretty.Theylookedgoodintheadvertisements.Wealsohadafewthingsoutinashowcaseinfront,forprospectivecustomerstolookat,butnobodycouldpickupthethingsintheadvertisementsorintheshowcasetoseehowwelltheplatingstayedon.Perhapssomeofthemwere,infact,prettygoodjobs.Buttheyweremadespecially;theywerenotregularproducts.RightafterIleftthecompanyattheendofthesummertogotoPrinceton,theygotagoodofferfromsomebodywhowantedtometal-plateplasticpens.Nowpeoplecouldhavesilverpensthatwerelight,andeasy,andcheap.Thepensimmediatelysold,allover,anditwasratherexcitingtoseepeoplewalkingaroundeverywherewiththesepens--andyouknewwheretheycamefrom.

Butthecompanyhadn'thadmuchexperiencewiththematerial--orperhapswiththefillerthatwasusedintheplastic(mostplasticsaren'tpure;theyhavea"filler,"whichinthosedayswasn'tverywellcontrolled)--andthedarnthingswoulddevelopablister.Whenyouhavesomethinginyourhandthathasalittleblisterthatstartstopeel,youcan'thelpfiddlingwithit.Soeverybodywasfiddlingwithallthepeelingscomingoffthepens.Nowthecompanyhadthisemergencyproblemtofixthepens,andmypaldecidedheneededabigmicroscope,andsoon.Hedidn'tknowwhathewasgoingtolookat,orwhy,anditcosthiscompanyalotofmoneyforthisfakeresearch.Theresultwas,theyhadtrouble:Theyneversolvedtheproblem,andthecompanyfailed,becausetheirfirstbigjobwassuchafailure.AfewyearslaterIwasinLosAlamos,wheretherewasamannamedFredericdeHoffman,whowasasortofscientist;butmore,hewasalsoverygoodatadministrating.Nothighlytrained,helikedmathematics,andworkedveryhard;hecompensatedforhislackoftrainingbyhardwork.LaterhebecamethepresidentorvicepresidentofGeneralAtomicsandhewasabigindustrialcharacterafterthat.Butatthetimehewasjustaveryenergetic,open-eyed,enthusiasticboy,helpingalongwiththeProjectasbesthecould.OnedaywewereeatingattheFullerLodge,andhetoldmehehadbeenworkinginEnglandbeforecomingtoLosAlamos."Whatkindofworkwereyoudoingthere?"Iasked."Iwasworkingonaprocessformetal-platingplastics.Iwasoneoftheguysinthelaboratory.""Howdiditgo?""Itwasgoingalongprettywell,butwehadourproblems.""Oh?""Justaswewerebeginningtodevelopourprocess,therewasacompanyinNewYork...""WhatcompanyinNewYork?""ItwascalledtheMetaplastCorporation.Theyweredevelopingfurtherthanwewere.""Howcouldyoutell?""TheywereadvertisingallthetimeinModernPlasticswithfull-pageadvertisementsshowingallthethingstheycouldplate,andwerealizedthattheywerefurtheralongthanwewere."

"Didyouhaveanystufffromthem?""No,butyoucouldtellfromtheadvertisementsthattheywerewayaheadofwhatwecoulddo.Ourprocesswasprettygood,butitwasnousetryingtocompetewithanAmericanprocesslikethat.""Howmanychemistsdidyouhaveworkinginthelab?""Wehadsixchemistsworking.""HowmanychemistsdoyouthinktheMetaplastCorporationhad?""Oh!Theymusthavehadarealchemistrydepartment!""WouldyoudescribeformewhatyouthinkthechiefresearchchemistattheMetaplastCorporationmightlooklike,andhowhislaboratorymightwork?""Iwouldguesstheymusthavetwenty-fiveorfiftychemists,andthechiefresearchchemisthashisownoffice--special,withglass.Youknow,liketheyhaveinthemovies--guyscominginallthetimewithresearchprojectsthatthey'redoing,gettinghisadvice,andrushingofftodomoreresearch,peoplecominginandoutallthetime.Withtwenty-fiveorfiftychemists,howthehellcouldwecompetewiththem?""You'llbeinterestedandamusedtoknowthatyouarenowtalkingtothechiefresearchchemistoftheMetaplastCorporation,whosestaffconsistedofonebottle-washer!"

Part2ThePrincetonYears"SurelyYou'reJoking,Mr.Feynman!"WhenIwasanundergraduateatMITIlovedit.Ithoughtitwasagreatplace,andIwantedtogotograduateschooltheretoo,ofcourse.ButwhenIwenttoProfessorSlaterandtoldhimofmyintentions,hesaid,"Wewon'tletyouinhere."Isaid,"What?"Slatersaid,"WhydoyouthinkyoushouldgotograduateschoolatMIT?"

"BecauseMITisthebestschoolforscienceinthecountry.""Youthinkthat?""Yeah.""That'swhyyoushouldgotosomeotherschool.Youshouldfindouthowtherestoftheworldis."SoIdecidedtogotoPrinceton.NowPrincetonhadacertainaspectofelegance.ItwasanimitationofanEnglishschool,partly.Sotheguysinthefraternity,whoknewmyratherrough,informalmanners,startedmakingremarkslike"Waittilltheyfindoutwhothey'vegotcomingtoPrinceton!Waittilltheyseethemistaketheymade!"SoIdecidedtotrytobenicewhenIgottoPrinceton.MyfathertookmetoPrincetoninhiscar,andIgotmyroom,andheleft.Ihadn'tbeenthereanhourwhenIwasmetbyaman:"I'mtheMahstahofResidencesheah,andIshouldliketotellyouthattheDeanishavingaTeathisaftanoon,andheshouldliketohaveallofyoucome.Perhapsyouwouldbesokindastoinformyourroommate,Mr.Serette."Thatwasmyintroductiontothegraduate"College"atPrinceton,whereallthestudentslived.ItwaslikeanimitationOxfordorCambridge--completewithaccents(themasterofresidenceswasaprofessorof"Frenchlittrachaw").Therewasaporterdownstairs,everybodyhadnicerooms,andweateallourmealstogether,wearingacademicgowns,inagreathallwhichhadstained-glasswindows.SotheveryafternoonIarrivedinPrincetonI'mgoingtothedean'stea,andIdidn'tevenknowwhata"tea"was,orwhy!Ihadnosocialabilitieswhatsoever;Ihadnoexperiencewiththissortofthing.SoIcomeuptothedoor,andthere'sDeanEisenhart,greetingthenewstudents:"Oh,you'reMr.Feynman,"hesays."We'regladtohaveyou."Sothathelpedalittle,becauseherecognizedme,somehow.Igothroughthedoor,andtherearesomeladies,andsomegirls,too.It'sallveryformalandI'mthinkingaboutwheretositdownandshouldIsitnexttothisgirl,ornot,andhowshouldIbehave,whenIhearavoicebehindme."Wouldyoulikecreamorlemoninyourtea,Mr.Feynman?"It'sMrs.Eisenhart,pouringtea."I'llhaveboth,thankyou,"Isay,stilllookingforwhereI'mgoingtosit,whensuddenlyIhear"Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.Surelyyou'rejoking,Mr.Feynman."

Joking?Joking?WhatthehelldidIjustsay?ThenIrealizedwhatIhaddone.Sothatwasmyfirstexperiencewiththisteabusiness.Lateron,afterIhadbeenatPrincetonlonger,Igottounderstandthis"Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh."Infactitwasatthatfirsttea,asIwasleaving,thatIrealizeditmeant"You'remakingasocialerror."BecausethenexttimeIheardthissamecackle,"Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh,"fromMrs.Eisenhart,somebodywaskissingherhandasheleft.Anothertime,perhapsayearlater,atanothertea,IwastalkingtoProfessorWildt,anastronomerwhohadworkedoutsometheoryaboutthecloudsonVenus.Theyweresupposedtobeformaldehyde(it'swonderfultoknowwhatweonceworriedabout)andhehaditallfiguredout,howtheformaldehydewasprecipitating,andsoon.Itwasextremelyinteresting.Weweretalkingaboutallthisstuff,whenalittleladycameupandsaid,"Mr.Feynman,Mrs.Eisenhartwouldliketoseeyou.""OK,justaminute..."andIkepttalkingtoWildt.Thelittleladycamebackagainandsaid,"Mr.Feynman,Mrs.Eisenhartwouldliketoseeyou.""OK,OK!"andIgoovertoMrs.Eisenhart,who'spouringtea."Wouldyouliketohavesomecoffeeortea,Mr.Feynman?""Mrs.So-and-sosaysyouwantedtotalktome.""Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.Wouldyouliketohavecoffee,ortea,Mr.Feynman?""Tea,"Isaid,"thankyou."AfewmomentslaterMrs.Eisenhart'sdaughterandaschoolmatecameover,andwewereintroducedtoeachother.Thewholeideaofthis"heh-heh-heh"was:Mrs.Eisenhartdidn'twanttotalktome,shewantedmeovertheregettingteawhenherdaughterandfriendcameover,sotheywouldhavesomeonetotalkto.That'sthewayitworked.BythattimeIknewwhattodowhenIheard"Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh."Ididn'tsay,"Whatdoyoumean,'Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh'?";Iknewthe"heh-heh-heh"meant"error,"andI'dbettergetitstraightenedout.Everynightweworeacademicgownstodinner.Thefirstnightitscaredthelifeoutofme,becauseIdidn'tlikeformality.ButIsoonrealizedthatthegownswereagreatadvantage.Guyswhowereoutplayingtenniscouldrushintotheirroom,grabtheiracademicgown,andputiton.Theydidn'thavetotaketimeofftochangetheirclothesortakeashower.Sounderneaththegownstherewerebarearms,T-shirts,everything.Furthermore,

therewasarulethatyounevercleanedthegown,soyoucouldtellafirst-yearmanfromasecond-yearman,fromathird-yearman,fromapig!Younevercleanedthegownandyouneverrepairedit,sothefirst-yearmenhadverynice,relativelycleangowns,butbythetimeyougottothethirdyearorso,itwasnothingbutsomekindofcardboardthingonyourshoulderswithtattershangingdownfromit.SowhenIgottoPrinceton,IwenttothatteaonSundayafternoonandhaddinnerthateveninginanacademicgownatthe"College."ButonMonday,thefirstthingIwantedtodowastoseethecyclotron.MIThadbuiltanewcyclotronwhileIwasastudentthere,anditwasjustbeautiful!Thecyclotronitselfwasinoneroom,withthecontrolsinanotherroom.Itwasbeautifullyengineered.Thewiresranfromthecontrolroomtothecyclotronunderneathinconduits,andtherewasawholeconsoleofbuttonsandmeters.ItwaswhatIwouldcallagold-platedcyclotron.NowIhadreadalotofpapersoncyclotronexperiments,andthereweren'tmanyfromMIT.Maybetheywerejuststarting.ButtherewerelotsofresultsfromplaceslikeCornell,andBerkeley,andaboveall,Princeton.ThereforewhatIreallywantedtosee,whatIwaslookingforwardto,wasthePRINCETONCYCLOTRON.Thatmustbesomething!SofirstthingonMonday,Igointothephysicsbuildingandask,"Whereisthecyclotron--whichbuilding?""It'sdownstairs,inthebasement--attheendofthehall."Inthebasement?Itwasanoldbuilding.Therewasnoroominthebasementforacyclotron.Iwalkeddowntotheendofthehall,wentthroughthedoor,andintensecondsIlearnedwhyPrincetonwasrightforme--thebestplaceformetogotoschool.Inthisroomtherewerewiresstrungallovertheplace!Switcheswerehangingfromthewires,coolingwaterwasdrippingfromthevalves,theroomwasfullofstuff,alloutintheopen.Tablespiledwithtoolswereeverywhere;itwasthemostgodawfulmessyoueversaw.Thewholecyclotronwasthereinoneroom,anditwascomplete,absolutechaos!Itremindedmeofmylabathome.NothingatMIThadeverremindedmeofmylabathome.IsuddenlyrealizedwhyPrincetonwasgettingresults.Theywereworkingwiththeinstrument.Theybuilttheinstrument;theyknewwhereeverythingwas,theyknewhoweverythingworked,therewasnoengineerinvolved,exceptmaybehewasworkingtheretoo.ItwasmuchsmallerthanthecyclotronatMIT,and"gold-plated"?--itwastheexactopposite.Whentheywantedtofixavacuum,they'ddripglyptalonit,sothereweredropsofglyptalonthefloor.Itwaswonderful!

Becausetheyworkedwithit.Theydidn'thavetositinanotherroomandpushbuttons!(Incidentally,theyhadafireinthatroom,becauseofallthechaoticmessthattheyhad--toomanywires--anditdestroyedthecyclotron.ButI'dbetternottellaboutthat!)(WhenIgottoCornellIwenttolookatthecyclotronthere.Thiscyclotronhardlyrequiredaroom:Itwasaboutayardacross--thediameterofthewholething.Itwastheworld'ssmallestcyclotron,huttheyhadgotfantasticresults.Theyhadallkindsofspecialtechniquesandtricks.Iftheywantedtochangesomethinginthe"D's"--theD-shapedhalfcirclesthattheparticlesgoaround--they'dtakeascrewdriver,andremovetheD'sbyhand,fixthem,andputthemback.AtPrincetonitwasalotharder,andatMITyouhadtotakeacranethatcamerollingacrosstheceiling,lowerthehooks,anditwasahellllllofajob.)Ilearnedalotofdifferentthingsfromdifferentschools.MITisaverygoodplace;I'mnottryingtoputitdown.Iwasjustinlovewithit.Ithasdevelopedforitselfaspirit,sothateverymemberofthewholeplacethinksthatit'sthemostwonderfulplaceintheworld--it'sthecenter,somehow,ofscientificandtechnologicaldevelopmentintheUnitedStates,ifnottheworld.It'slikeaNewYorker'sviewofNewYork:theyforgettherestofthecountry.Andwhileyoudon'tgetagoodsenseofproportionthere,youdogetanexcellentsenseofbeingwithitandinit,andhavingmotivationanddesiretokeepon--thatyou'respeciallychosen,andluckytobethere.SoMITwasgood,hutSlaterwasrighttowarnmetogotoanotherschoolformygraduatework.AndIoftenadvisemystudentsthesameway.Learnwhattherestoftheworldislike.Thevarietyisworthwhile.IoncedidanexperimentinthecyclotronlaboratoryatPrincetonthathadsomestartlingresults.Therewasaprobleminahydrodynamicsbookthatwasbeingdiscussedbyallthephysicsstudents.Theproblemisthis:YouhaveanS-shapedlawnsprinkler--anS-shapedpipeonapivot--andthewatersquirtsoutatrightanglestotheaxisandmakesitspininacertaindirection.Everybodyknowswhichwayitgoesaround;itbacksawayfromtheoutgoingwater.Nowthequestionisthis:Ifyouhadalake,orswimmingpool--abigsupplyofwater--andyouputthesprinklercompletelyunderwater,andsuckedthewaterin,insteadofsquirtingitout,whichwaywoulditturn?Woulditturnthesamewayasitdoeswhenyousquirtwateroutintotheair,orwoulditturntheotherway?Theanswerisperfectlyclearatfirstsight.Thetroublewas,someguywouldthinkitwasperfectlyclearoneway,andanotherguywouldthinkitwasperfectlycleartheotherway.Soeverybodywasdiscussingit.Irememberatoneparticularseminar,ortea,somebodywentniptoProfJohn

Wheelerandsaid,"Whichwaydoyouthinkitgoesaround?"Wheelersaid,"Yesterday,Feynmanconvincedmethatitwentbackwards.Today,he'sconvincedmeequallywellthatitgoesaroundtheotherway.Idon'tknowwhathe'llconvincemeoftomorrow!"I'lltellyouanargumentthatwillmakeyouthinkit'soneway,andanotherargumentthatwillmakeyouthinkit'stheotherway,OK?Oneargumentisthatwhenyou'resuckingwaterin,you'resortofpullingthewaterwiththenozzle,soitwillgoforward,towardstheincomingwater.Butthenanotherguycomesalongandsays,"Supposeweholditstillandaskwhatkindofatorqueweneedtoholditstill.Inthecaseofthewatergoingout,weallknowyouhavetoholditontheoutsideofthecurve,becauseofthecentrifugalforceofthewatergoingaroundthecurve,Now,whenthewatergoesaroundthesamecurvetheotherway,itstillmakesthesamecentrifugalforcetowardtheoutsideofthecurve.Thereforethetwocasesarethesame,andthesprinklerwillgoaroundthesameway,whetheryou'resquirtingwateroutorsuckingitin."Aftersomethought,Ifinallymadeupmymindwhattheanswerwas,andinordertodemonstrateit,Iwantedtodoanexperiment.InthePrincetoncyclotronlabtheyhadabigcarboy--amonsterbottleofwater.Ithoughtthiswasjustgreatfortheexperiment.IgotapieceofcoppertubingandbentitintoanS-shape.TheninthemiddleIdrilledahole,stuckinapieceofrubberhose,andleditupthroughaholeinacorkIhadputinthetopofthebottle.Thecorkhadanotherhole,intowhichIputanotherpieceofrubberhose,andconnectedittotheairpressuresupply

ofthelab.Byblowingairintothebottle,IcouldforcewaterintothecoppertubingexactlyasifIweresuckingitin.Now,theS-shapedtubingwouldn'tturnaround,butitwouldtwist(becauseoftheflexiblerubberhose),andIwasgoingtomeasurethespeedofthewaterflowbymeasuringhowfaritsquirtedoutofthetopofthebottle.Igotitallsetup,turnedontheairsupply,anditwent"Puup!"Theairpressureblewthecorkoutofthebottle.Iwireditinverywell,soitwouldn'tjumpout.Nowtheexperimentwasgoingprettygood.Thewaterwascomingout,andthehosewastwisting,soIputalittlemorepressureonit,becausewithahigherspeed,themeasurementswouldbemoreaccurate.Imeasuredtheangleverycarefully,andmeasuredthedistance,andincreasedthepressureagain,andsuddenlythewholethingjustblewglassandwaterinalldirectionsthroughoutthelaboratory.Aguywhohadcome

towatchgotallwetandhadtogohomeandchangehisclothes(it'samiraclehedidn'tgetcutbytheglass),andlotsofcloudchamberpicturesthathadbeentakenpatientlyusingthecyclotronwereallwet,butforsomereasonIwasfarenoughaway,orinsomesuchpositionthatIdidn'tgetverywet.ButI'llalwaysrememberhowthegreatProfessorDelSasso,whowasinchargeofthecyclotron,cameovertomeandsaidsternly,"Thefreshmanexperimentsshouldbedoneinthefreshmanlaboratory!"

Meeeeeeeeeee!OnWednesdaysatthePrincetonGraduateCollege,variouspeoplewouldcomeintogivetalks.Thespeakerswereofteninteresting,andinthediscussionsafterthetalksweusedtohavealotoffun.Forinstance,oneguyinourschoolwasverystronglyanti-Catholic,sohepassedoutquestionsinadvanceforpeopletoaskareligiousspeaker,andwegavethespeakerahardtime.Anothertimesomebodygaveatalkaboutpoetry.Hetalkedaboutthestructureofthepoemandtheemotionsthatcomewithit;hedividedeverythingupintocertainkindsofclasses.Inthediscussionthatcameafterwards,hesaid,"Isn'tthatthesameasinmathematics,Dr.Eisenhart?"Dr.Eisenhartwasthedeanofthegraduateschoolandagreatprofessorofmathematics.Hewasalsoveryclever.Hesaid,"I'dliketoknowwhatDickFeynmanthinksaboutitinreferencetotheoreticalphysics."Hewasalwaysputtingmeoninthiskindofsituation.Igotupandsaid,"Yes,it'sverycloselyrelated.Intheoreticalphysics,theanalogofthewordisthemathematicalformula,theanalogofthestructureofthepoemistheinterrelationshipofthetheoreticalbling-blingwiththeso-andso"--andIwentthroughthewholething,makingaperfectanalogy.Thespeaker'seyeswerebeamingwithhappiness.ThenIsaid,"Itseemstomethatnomatterwhatyousayaboutpoetry,Icouldfindawayofmakingupananalogwithanysubject,justasIdidfortheoreticalphysics.Idon'tconsidersuchanalogsmeaningful."Inthegreatbigdininghallwithstained-glasswindows,wherewealwaysate,inoursteadilydeterioratingacademicgowns,DeanEisenhartwouldbegineachdinnerbysayinggraceinLatin.Afterdinnerhewouldoftengetupandmakesomeannouncements.OnenightDr.Eisenhartgotupandsaid,"Twoweeksfromnow,aprofessorofpsychologyiscomingtogiveatalkabouthypnosis.Now,thisprofessorthoughtitwouldbemuchbetterifwehadarealdemonstrationofhypnosisinsteadofjusttalkingaboutit.Thereforehewouldlikesomepeopletovolunteertobehypnotized.

Igetallexcited:There'snoquestionbutthatI'vegottofindoutabouthypnosis.Thisisgoingtoheterrific!DeanEisenhartwentontosaythatitwouldbegoodifthreeorfourpeoplewouldvolunteersothatthehypnotistcouldtrythemoutfirsttoseewhichoneswouldbeabletobehypnotized,sohe'dliketourgeverymuchthatweapplyforthis.(He'swastingallthistime,forGod'ssake!)Eisenhartwasdownatoneendofthehall,andIwaswaydownattheotherend,intheback.Therewerehundredsofguysthere.Iknewthateverybodywasgoingtowanttodothis,andIwasterrifiedthathewouldn'tseemebecauseIwassofarback.Ijusthadtogetinonthisdemonstration!FinallyEisenhartsaid,"AndsoIwouldliketoaskiftherearegoingtobeanyvolunteers..."Iraisedmyhandandshotoutofmyseat,screamingasloudasIcould,tomakesurethathewouldhearme:"MEEEEEEEEEEE!"Heheardmeallright,becausetherewasn'tanothersoul.Myvoicereverberatedthroughoutthehall--itwasveryembarrassing.Eisenhart'simmediatereactionwas,"Yes,ofcourse,Iknewyouwouldvolunteer,Mr.Feynman,butIwaswonderingiftherewouldbeanybodyelse."Finallyafewotherguysvolunteered,andaweekbeforethedemonstrationthemancametopracticeonus,toseeifanyofuswouldbegoodforhypnosis.Iknewaboutthephenomenon,butIdidn'tknowwhatitwasliketobehypnotized.HestartedtoworkonmeandsoonIgotintoapositionwherehesaid,"Youcan'topenyoureyes."Isaidtomyself,"IbetIcouldopenmyeyes,butIdon'twanttodisturbthesituation:Let'sseehowmuchfurtheritgoes."Itwasaninterestingsituation:You'reonlyslightlyfoggedout,andalthoughyou'velostalittlebit,you'reprettysureyoucouldopenyoureyes.Butofcourse,you'renotopeningyoureyes,soinasenseyoucan'tdoit.HewentthroughalotofstuffanddecidedthatIwasprettygood.Whentherealdemonstrationcamehehaduswalkonstage,andhehypnotizedusinfrontofthewholePrincetonGraduateCollege.Thistimetheeffectwasstronger;IguessIhadlearnedhowtobecomehypnotized.Thehypnotistmadevariousdemonstrations,havingmedothingsthatIcouldn'tnormallydo,andattheendhesaidthatafterIcameoutofhypnosis,insteadofreturningtomyseatdirectly,whichwasthenaturalwaytogo,Iwouldwalkallthewayaroundtheroomandgotomyseatfromtheback.AllthroughthedemonstrationIwasvaguelyawareofwhatwasgoingon,andcooperatingwiththethingsthehypnotistsaid,butthistimeI

decided,"Damnit,enoughisenough!I'mgonnagostraighttomyseat."Whenitwastimetogetupandgooffthestage,Istartedtowalkstraighttomyseat.Butthenanannoyingfeelingcameoverme:IfeltsouncomfortablethatIcouldn'tcontinue.Iwalkedallthewayaroundthehall.Iwashypnotizedinanothersituationsometimelaterbyawoman.WhileIwashypnotizedshesaid,"I'mgoingtolightamatch,blowitout,andimmediatelytouchthebackofyourhandwithit.Youwillfeelnopain."Ithought,"Baloney!"Shetookamatch,litit,blewitout,andtouchedittothebackofmyhand.Itfeltslightlywarm.Myeyeswereclosedthroughoutallofthis,butIwasthinking,"That'seasy.Shelitonematch,buttouchedadifferentmatchtomyhand.There'snothin'tothat;it'safake!"WhenIcameoutofthehypnosisandlookedatthebackofmyhand,Igotthebiggestsurprise:Therewasaburnonthebackofmyhand.Soonablistergrew,anditneverhurtatall,evenwhenitbroke.SoIfoundhypnosistobeaveryinterestingexperience.Allthetimeyou'resayingtoyourself,"Icoulddothat,butIwon't"--whichisjustanotherwayofsayingthatyoucan't.

AMapoftheCat?IntheGraduateCollegediningroomatPrincetoneverybodyusedtositwithhisowngroup.Isatwiththephysicists,butafterabitIthought:Itwouldbenicetoseewhattherestoftheworldisdoing,soI'llsitforaweekortwoineachoftheothergroups.WhenIsatwiththephilosophersIlistenedtothemdiscussveryseriouslyabookcalledProcessandRealitybyWhitehead.Theywereusingwordsinafunnyway,andIcouldn'tquiteunderstandwhattheyweresaying.NowIdidn'twanttointerruptthemintheirownconversationandkeepaskingthemtoexplainsomething,andonthefewoccasionsthatIdid,they'dtrytoexplainittome,butIstilldidn'tgetit.Finallytheyinvitedmetocometotheirseminar.Theyhadaseminarthatwaslike,aclass.IthadbeenmeetingonceaweektodiscussanewchapteroutofProcessandReality--someguywouldgiveareportonitandthentherewouldbeadiscussion.Iwenttothisseminarpromisingmyselftokeepmymouthshut,remindingmyselfthatI

didn'tknowanythingaboutthesubject,andIwasgoingtherejusttowatch.Whathappenedtherewastypical--sotypicalthatitwasunbelievable,buttrue.Firstofall,Isattherewithoutsayinganything,whichisalmostunbelievable,butalsotrue.Astudentgaveareportonthechaptertobestudiedthatweek.InitWhiteheadkeptusingthewords"essentialobject"inaparticulartechnicalwaythatpresumablyhehaddefined,butthatIdidn'tunderstand.Aftersomediscussionastowhat"essentialobject"meant,theprofessorleadingtheseminarsaidsomethingmeanttoclarifythingsanddrewsomethingthatlookedlikelightningboltsontheblackboard."Mr.Feynman,"hesaid,"wouldyousayanelectronisan'essentialobject'?"Well,nowIwasintrouble.IadmittedthatIhadn'treadthebook,soIhadnoideaofwhatWhiteheadmeantbythephrase;Ihadonlycometowatch."But,"Isaid,"I'lltrytoanswertheprofessor'squestionifyouwillfirstansweraquestionfromme,soIcanhaveabetterideaofwhat'essentialobject'means.Isabrickanessentialobject?"WhatIhadintendedtodowastofindoutwhethertheythoughttheoreticalconstructswereessentialobjects.Theelectronisatheorythatweuse;itissousefulinunderstandingthewaynatureworksthatwecanalmostcallitreal.Iwantedtomaketheideaofatheoryclearbyanalogy.Inthecaseofthebrick,mynextquestionwasgoingtobe,"Whatabouttheinsideofthebrick?"--andIwouldthenpointoutthatnoonehaseverseentheinsideofabrick.Everytimeyoubreakthebrick,youonlyseethesurface.Thatthebrickhasaninsideisasimpletheorywhichhelpsusunderstandthingsbetter.Thetheoryofelectronsisanalogous.SoIbeganbyasking,"Isabrickanessentialobject?"Thentheanswerscameout.Onemanstoodupandsaid,"Abrickasanindividual,specificbrick.ThatiswhatWhiteheadmeansbyanessentialobject."Anothermansaid,"No,itisn'ttheindividualbrickthatisanessentialobject;it'sthegeneralcharacterthatallbrickshaveincommon--their'brickiness'--thatistheessentialobject."Anotherguygotupandsaid,"No,it'snotinthebricksthemselves.'Essentialobject'meanstheideainthemindthatyougetwhenyouthinkofbricks."Anotherguygotup,andanother,andItellyouIhaveneverheardsuchingeniousdifferentwaysoflookingatabrickbefore.And,justlikeitshouldinallstoriesaboutphilosophers,itendedupincompletechaos.Inalltheirpreviousdiscussionstheyhadn'tevenaskedthemselveswhether

suchasimpleobjectasabrick,muchlessanelectron,isan"essentialobject."AfterthatIwentaroundtothebiologytableatdinnertime.Ihadalwayshadsomeinterestinbiology,andtheguystalkedaboutveryinterestingthings.Someoftheminvitedmetocometoacoursetheyweregoingtohaveincellphysiology.Iknewsomethingaboutbiology,butthiswasagraduatecourse."DoyouthinkIcanhandleit?Willtheprofessorletmein?"Iasked.Theyaskedtheinstructor,E.NewtonHarvey,whohaddonealotofresearchonlight-producingbacteria.HarveysaidIcouldjointhisspecial,advancedcourseprovidedonething--thatIwoulddoallthework,andreportonpapersjustlikeeverybodyelse.Beforethefirstclassmeeting,theguyswhohadinvitedmetotakethecoursewantedtoshowmesomethingsunderthemicroscope.Theyhadsomeplantcellsinthere,andyoucouldseesomelittlegreenspotscalledchloroplasts(theymakesugarwhenlightshinesonthem)circulatingaround.Ilookedatthemandthenlookedup:"Howdotheycirculate?Whatpushesthemaround?"Iasked.Nobodyknew.Itturnedoutthatitwasnotunderstoodatthattime.SorightawayIfoundoutsomethingaboutbiology:itwasveryeasytofindaquestionthatwasveryinteresting,andthatnobodyknewtheanswerto.Inphysicsyouhadtogoalittledeeperbeforeyoucouldfindaninterestingquestionthatpeopledidn'tknow.Whenthecoursebegan,Harveystartedoutbydrawingagreat,bigpictureofacellontheblackboardandlabelingallthethingsthatareinacell.Hethentalkedaboutthem,andIunderstoodmostofwhathesaid.Afterthelecture,theguywhohadinvitedmesaid,"Well,howdidyoulikeit?""Justfine,"Isaid."TheonlypartIdidn'tunderstandwasthepartaboutlecithin.Whatislecithin?"Theguybeginstoexplaininamonotonousvoice:"Alllivingcreatures,bothplantandanimal,aremadeoflittlebricklikeobjectscalled'cells'."Listen,"Isaid,impatiently,"Iknowallthat;otherwiseIwouldn'tbeinthecourse.Whatislecithin?""Idon'tknow."Ihadtoreportonpapersalongwitheveryoneelse,andthefirstoneIwasassignedwasontheeffectofpressureoncells--Harveychosethattopicformebecauseithadsomethingthathadtodowithphysics.AlthoughIunderstoodwhatIwasdoing,ImispronouncedeverythingwhenIreadmypaper,andtheclasswasalwayslaughinghystericallywhenI'dtalkabout"blastospheres"insteadof"blastomeres,"orsomeothersuchthing.

ThenextpaperselectedformewasbyAdrianandBronk.Theydemonstratedthatnerveimpulsesweresharp,single-pulsephenomena.Theyhaddoneexperimentswithcatsinwhichtheyhadmeasuredvoltagesonnerves.

Ibegantoreadthepaper.Itkepttalkingaboutextensorsandflexors,thegastrocnemiusmuscle,andsoon.Thisandthatmusclewerenamed,butIhadn'tthefoggiestideaofwheretheywerelocatedinrelationtothenervesortothecat.SoIwenttothelibrarianinthebiologysectionandaskedherifshecouldfindmeamapofthecat."Amapofthecat,sir?"sheasked,horrified."Youmeanazoologicalchart!"Fromthenontherewererumorsaboutsomedumbbiologygraduatestudentwhowaslookingfora"mapofthecat."Whenitcametimeformetogivemytalkonthesubject,Istartedoffbydrawinganoutlineofthecatandbegantonamethevariousmuscles.Theotherstudentsintheclassinterruptme:"Weknowallthat!""Oh,"Isay,"youdo?ThennowonderIcancatchupwithyousofastafteryou'vehadfouryearsofbiology."Theyhadwastedalltheirtimememorizingstufflikethat,whenitcouldbelookedupinfifteenminutes.Afterthewar,everysummerIwouldgotravelingbycarsomewhereintheUnitedStates.Oneyear,afterIwasatCaltech,Ithought,"Thissummer,insteadofgoingtoadifferentplace,I'llgotoadifferentfield."ItwasrightafterWatsonandCrick'sdiscoveryoftheDNAspiral.ThereweresomeverygoodbiologistsatCaltechbecauseDelbr�ckhadhislabthere,andWatsoncametoCaltechtogivesomelecturesonthecodingsystemsofDNA.Iwenttohislecturesandtoseminarsinthebiologydepartmentandgotfullofenthusiasm.Itwasaveryexcitingtimeinbiology,andCaltechwasawonderfulplacetobe.Ididn'tthinkIwasuptodoingactualresearchinbiology,soformysummervisittothefieldofbiologyIthoughtIwouldjusthangaroundthebiologylaband"washdishes,"whileIwatchedwhattheyweredoing.Iwentovertothebiologylabtotellthemmydesire,andBobEdgar,ayoungpost-docwhowassortofinchargethere,saidhewouldn'tletmedothat.Hesaid,"You'llhavetoreallydosomeresearch,justlikeagraduatestudent,andwe'llgiveyouaproblemtoworkon."Thatsuitedmefine.Itookaphagecourse,whichtoldushowtodoresearchwithbacteriophages(aphageisavirusthatcontainsDNAandattacksbacteria).Right

awayIfoundthatIwassavedalotoftroublebecauseIknewsomephysicsandmathematics.Iknewhowatomsworkedinliquids,sotherewasnothingmysteriousabouthowthecentrifugeworked.Iknewenoughstatisticstounderstandthestatisticalerrorsincountinglittlespotsinadish.Sowhileallthebiologyguysweretryingtounderstandthese"new"things,Icouldspendmytimelearningthebiologypart.TherewasoneusefullabtechniqueIlearnedinthatcoursewhichIstillusetoday.Theytaughtushowtoholdatesttubeandtakeitscapoffwithonehand(youuseyourmiddleandindexfingers),whileleavingtheotherhandfreetodosomethingelse(likeholdapipettethatyou'resuckingcyanideupinto).Now,Icanholdmytoothbrushinonehand,andwiththeotherhand,holdthetubeoftoothpaste,twistthecapoff,andputitbackon.Ithadbeendiscoveredthatphagescouldhavemutationswhichwouldaffecttheirabilitytoattackbacteria,andweweresupposedtostudythosemutations.Therewerealsosomephagesthatwouldhaveasecondmutationwhichwouldreconstitutetheirabilitytoattackbacteria.Somephageswhichmutatedbackwereexactlythesameastheywerebefore.Otherswerenot:Therewasaslightdifferenceintheireffectonbacteria--theywouldactfasterorslowerthannormal,andthebacteriawouldgrowslowerorfasterthannormal.Inotherwords,therewere"backmutations,buttheyweren'talwaysperfect;sometimesthephagewouldrecoveronlypartoftheabilityithadlost.BobEdgarsuggestedthatIdoanexperimentwhichwouldtrytofindoutifthebackmutationsoccurredinthesameplaceontheDNAspiral.WithgreatcareandalotoftediousworkIwasabletofindthreeexamplesofbackmutationswhichhadoccurredveryclosetogether--closerthananythingtheyhadeverseensofar--andwhichpartiallyrestoredthephage'sabilitytofunction.Itwasaslowjob.Itwassortofaccidental:Youhadtowaitarounduntilvongotadoublemutation,whichwasveryrare.Ikepttryingtothinkofwaystomakeaphagemutatemoreoftenandhowtodetectmutationsmorequickly,butbeforeIcouldcomeupwithagoodtechniquethesummerwasover,andIdidn'tfeellikecontinuingonthatproblem.However,mysabbaticalyearwascomingup,soIdecidedtoworkinthesamebiologylabbutonadifferentsubject.IworkedwithMattMeselsontosomeextent,andthenwithanicefellafromEnglandnamedJ.D.Smith.Theproblemhadtodowithribosomes,the"machinery"inthecellthatmakesproteinfromwhatwenowcallmessengerRNA.Usingradioactivesubstances,wedemonstratedthattheRNAcouldcomeoutofribosomesandcouldbeputbackin.

Ididaverycarefuljobinmeasuringandtryingtocontroleverything,butittookmeeightmonthstorealizethattherewasonestepthatwassloppy.Inpreparingthebacteria,togettheribosomesout,inthosedaysyougrounditupwithaluminainamortar.Everythingelsewaschemicalandallundercontrol,butyoucouldneverrepeatthewayyoupushedthepestlearoundwhenyouweregrindingthebacteria.Sonothingevercameoftheexperiment.ThenIguessIhavetotellaboutthetimeItriedwithHildegardeLamfromtodiscoverwhetherpeascouldusethesameribosomesasbacteria.Thequestionwaswhethertheribosomesofbacteriacanmanufacturetheproteinsofhumansorotherorganisms,ShehadjustdevelopedaschemeforgettingtheribosomesoutofpeasandgivingthemmessengerRNAsothattheywouldmakepeaproteins.Werealizedthataverydramaticandimportantquestionwaswhetherribosomesfrombacteria,whengiventhepeas'messengerRNA,wouldmakepeaproteinorbacteriaprotein.Itwastobeaverydramaticandfundamentalexperiment.Hildegardesaid,"I'llneedalotofribosomesfrombacteria."MeselsonandIhadextractedenormousquantitiesofribosomesfromE.coliforsomeotherexperiment.Isaid,"Hell,I'lljustgiveyoutheribosomeswe'vegot.Wehaveplentyoftheminmyrefrigeratoratthelab."ItwouldhavebeenafantasticandvitaldiscoveryifIhadbeenagoodbiologist.ButIwasn'tagoodbiologist.Wehadagoodidea,agoodexperiment,therightequipment,butIscreweditup:Igaveherinfectedribosomes--thegrossestpossibleerrorthatyoucouldmakeinanexperimentlikethat.Myribosomeshadbeenintherefrigeratorforalmostamonth,andhadbecomecontaminatedwithsomeotherlivingthings.HadIpreparedthoseribosomespromptlyoveragainandgiventhemtoherinaseriousandcarefulway,witheverythingundercontrol,thatexperimentwouldhave

worked,.andwewouldhavebeenthefirsttodemonstratetheuniformityoflife:themachineryofmakingproteins,theribosomes,isthesameineverycreature.Wewerethereattherightplace,weweredoingtherightthings,butIwasdoingthingsasanamateur--stupidandsloppy.Youknowwhatitremindsmeof?ThehusbandofMadameBovaryinFlaubert'sbook,adullcountrydoctorwhohadsomeideaofhowtofixclubfeet,andallhedidwasscrewpeopleup.Iwassimilartothatunpracticedsurgeon.TheotherworkonthephageIneverwroteup--Edgarkeptaskingmetowriteitup,hutInevergotaroundtoit.That'sthetroublewithnotbeing

inyourownfield:Youdon'ttakeitseriously.Ididwritesomethinginformallyonit.IsentittoEdgar,wholaughedwhenhereadit.Itwasn'tinthestandardformthatbiologistsuse--first,procedures,andsoforth.Ispentalotoftimeexplainingthingsthatallthebiologistsknew.Edgarmadeashortenedversion,hutIcouldn'tunderstandit.Idon'tthinktheyeverpublishedit.Ineverpublisheditdirectly.WatsonthoughtthestuffIhaddonewithphageswasofsomeinterest,soheinvitedmetogotoHarvard.Igaveatalktothebiologydepartmentaboutthedoublemutationswhichoccurredsoclosetogether.Itoldthemmyguesswasthatonemutationmadeachangeintheprotein,suchaschangingthepHofanaminoacid,whiletheothermutationmadetheoppositechangeonadifferentaminoacidinthesameprotein,sothatitpartiallybalancedthefirstimitation--notperfectly,butenoughtoletthephageoperateagain.Ithoughttheyweretwochangesinthesameprotein,whichchemicallycompensatedeachother.Thatturnedoutnottobethecase.Itwasfoundoutafewyearslaterbypeoplewhoundoubtedlydevelopedatechniqueforproducinganddetectingthemutationsfaster,thatwhathappenedwas,thefirstmutationwasamutationinwhichanentireDNAbasewasmissing.Nowthe"code"wasshiftedandcouldnotbereadanymore.Thesecondmutationwaseitheroneinwhichanextrabasewasputbackin,ortwomoreweretakenout.Nowthecodecouldbereadagain.Thecloserthesecondmutationoccurredtothefirst,thelessmessagewouldhealteredbythedoublemutation,andthemorecompletelythephagewouldrecoveritslostabilities.Thefactthattherearethree"letters"tocodeeachaminoacidwasthusdemonstrated.WhileIwasatHarvardthatweek,Watsonsuggestedsomethingandwedidanexperimenttogetherforafewdays.Itwasanincompleteexperiment,butIlearnedsomenewlabtechniquesfromoneofthebestmeninthefield.Butthatwasmybigmoment:IgaveaseminarinthebiologydepartmentofHarvard!Ialwaysdothat,getintosomethingandseehowfarIcango.Ilearnedalotofthingsinbiology,andIgainedalotofexperience.Igotbetteratpronouncingthewords,knowingwhatnottoincludeinapaperoraseminar,anddetectingaweaktechniqueinanexperiment.ButIlovephysics,andIlovetogobacktoit.

MonsterMindsWhileIwasstillagraduatestudentatPrinceton,IworkedasaresearchassistantunderJohnWheeler.Hegavemeaproblemtoworkon,anditgothard,andIwasn'tgettinganywhere.SoIwentbacktoanideathatIhadhadearlier,atMIT.Theideawasthatelectronsdon'tactonthemselves,theyonlyactonotherelectrons.Therewasthisproblem:Whenyoushakeanelectron,itradiatesenergyandsothere'saloss.Thatmeanstheremustheaforceonit.Andtheremustheadifferentforcewhenit'schargedthanwhenit'snotcharged.(Iftheforcewereexactlythesamewhenitwaschargedandnotcharged,inonecaseitwouldloseenergy,andintheotheritwouldn't.Youcan'thavetwodifferentanswerstothesameproblem.)Thestandardtheorywasthatitwastheelectronactingonitselfthatmadethatforce(calledtheforceofradiationreaction),andIhadonlyelectronsactingonotherelectrons.SoIwasinsomedifficulty,Irealized,bythattime.(WhenIwasatMIT,Igottheideawithoutnoticingtheproblem,butbythetimeIgottoPrinceton,Iknewthatproblem.)WhatIthoughtwas:I'llshakethiselectron.Itwillmakesomenearbyelectronshake,andtheeffectbackfromthenearlyelectronwouldbetheoriginoftheforceofradiationreaction.SoIdidsomecalculationsandtookthemtoWheeler.Wheeler,rightawaysaid,"Well,thatisn'trightbecauseitvariesinverselyasthesquareofthedistanceoftheotherelectrons,whereasitshouldnotdependonanyofthesevariablesatall.It'llalsodependinverselyuponthemassoftheotherelectron;it'llbeproportionaltothechargeontheotherelectron."Whatbotheredmewas,Ithoughthemusthavedonethecalculation.IonlyrealizedlaterthatamanlikeWheelercouldimmediatelyseeallthatstuffwhenyougivehimtheproblem.Ihadtocalculate,buthecouldsee.Thenhesaid,"Andit'llhedelayed--thewavereturnslate--soallyou'vedescribedisreflectedlight.""Oh!Ofcourse,"Isaid."Butwait,"hesaid."Let'ssupposeitreturnsbyadvancedwaves--reactionsbackwardintime--soitcomesbackattherighttime.Wesawtheeffectvariedinverselyasthesquareofthedistance,butsupposetherearealotofelectrons,alloverspace:thenumberisproportionaltothesquareofthedistance.Somaybewecanmakeitallcompensate."

Wefoundoutwecoulddothat.Itcameoutverynicely,andfitverywell.Itwasaclassicaltheorythatcouldberight,eventhoughitdifferedfromMaxwell'sstandard,orLorentz'sstandardtheory.Itdidn'thaveanytroublewiththeinfinityofself-action,anditwasingenious.Ithadactionsanddelays,forwardsandbackwardsintime--wecalledit"half-advancedandhalf-retardedpotentials."WheelerandIthoughtthenextproblemwastoturntothequantumtheoryofelectrodynamics,whichhaddifficulties(Ithought)withtheself-actionoftheelectron.Wefiguredifwecouldgetridofthedifficultyfirstinclassicalphysics,andthenmakeaquantumtheoryoutofthat,wecouldstraightenoutthequantumtheoryaswell.Nowthatwehadgottheclassicaltheoryright,Wheelersaid,"Feynman,you'reayoungfella--youshouldgiveaseminaronthis.Youneedexperienceingivingtalks.Meanwhile,I'llworkoutthequantumtheorypartandgiveaseminaronthatlater."Soitwastobemyfirsttechnicaltalk,andWheelermadearrangementswithEugeneWignertoputitontheregularseminarschedule.AdayortwobeforethetalkIsawWignerinthehail."Feynman,"hesaid,"Ithinkthatworkyou'redoingwithWheelerisveryinteresting,soI'veinvitedRusselltotheseminar."HenryNorrisRussell,thefamous,greatastronomeroftheday,wascomingtothelecture!Wignerwenton."IthinkProfessorvonNeumannwouldalsoheinterested."JohnnyvonNeumannwasthegreatestmathematicianaround."AndProfessorPauliisvisitingfromSwitzerland,itsohappens,soI'veinvitedProfessorPaulitocome"--Pauliwasaveryfamousphysicist--andbythistime,I'mturningyellow.Finally,Wignersaid,"ProfessorEinsteinonlyrarelycomestoourweeklyseminars,butyourworkissointerestingthatI'veinvitedhimspecially,sohe'scoming,too."BythistimeImusthaveturnedgreen,becauseWignersaid,"No,no!Don'tworry!I'lljustwarnyou,though:IfProfessorRussellfallsasleep--andhewillundoubtedlyfallasleep--itdoesn'tmeanthattheseminarisbad;hefallsasleepinalltheseminars.Ontheotherhand,ifProfessorPauliisnoddingallthetime,andseemstobeinagreementastheseminargoesalong,paynoattention.ProfessorPaulihaspalsy."IwentbacktoWheelerandnamedallthebig,famouspeoplewhowerecomingtothetalkhegotmetogive,andtoldhimIwasuneasyaboutit."It'sallright,"hesaid."Don'tworry.I'llanswerallthequestions."SoIpreparedthetalk,andwhenthedaycame,Iwentinanddidsomethingthatyoungmenwhohavehadnoexperienceingivingtalksoftendo--Iputtoomanyequationsupontheblackboard.Yousee,ayoungfelladoesn'tknowhowtosay,"Ofcourse,thatvariesinversely,andthisgoesthis

way...becauseeverybodylisteningalreadyknows;theycanseeit.Buthedoesn'tknow.Hecanonlymakeitcomeoutbyactuallydoingthealgebra--andthereforethereamsofequations.AsIwaswritingtheseequationsallovertheblackboardaheadoftime,Einsteincameinandsaidpleasantly,"Hello,I'mcomingtoyourseminar.Butfirst,whereisthetea?"Itoldhim,andcontinuedwritingtheequations.Thenthetimecametogivethetalk,andherearethesemonstermindsinfrontofme,waiting!Myfirsttechnicaltalk--andIhavethisaudience!Imeantheywouldputmethroughthewringer!Irememberveryclearlyseeingmyhandsshakingastheywerepullingoutmynotesfromabrownenvelope.Butthenamiracleoccurred,asithasoccurredagainandagaininmylife,andit'sveryluckyforme:themomentIstarttothinkaboutthephysics,andhavetoconcentrateonwhatI'mexplaining,nothingelseoccupiesmymind--I'mcompletelyimmunetobeingnervous.SoafterIstartedtogo,Ijustdidn'tknowwhowasintheroom.Iwasonlyexplainingthisidea,that'sall.

Butthentheendoftheseminarcame,anditwastimeforquestions.Firstoff,Pauli,whowassittingnexttoEinstein,getsupandsays,"Idonotsinkdisteorycanberight,becauseofdis,anddis,anddis,"andheturnstoEinsteinandsays,"Don'tyouagree,ProfessorEinstein?"Einsteinsays,"Nooooooooooooo,"anice,Germansounding"No,"--verypolite."Ifindonlythatitwouldbeverydifficulttomakeacorrespondingtheoryforgravitationalinteraction."Hemeantforthegeneraltheoryofrelativity,whichwashisbaby.Hecontinued:"Sincewehaveatthistimenotagreatdealofexperimentalevidence,Iamnotabsolutelysureofthecorrectgravitationaltheory."Einsteinappreciatedthatthingsmighthedifferentfromwhathistheorystated;hewasverytolerantofotherideas.IwishIhadrememberedwhatPaulisaid,becauseIdiscoveredyearslaterthatthetheorywasnotsatisfactorywhenitcametomakingthequantumtheory.It'spossiblethatthatgreatmannoticedthedifficultyimmediatelyandexplainedittomeinthequestion,hutIwassorelievedatnothavingtoanswerthequestionsthatIdidn'treallylistentothemcarefully.IdorememberwalkingupthestepsofPalmerLibrarywithPauli,whosaidtome,"WhatisWheelergoingtosayaboutthequantumtheorywhenhegiveshistalk?"

Isaid,"Idon'tknow.Hehasn'ttoldme.He'sworkingitouthimself.""Oh?"hesaid."Themanworksanddoesn'ttellhisassistantwhathe'sdoing'onthequantumtheory?"Hecameclosertomeandsaidinalow,secretivevoice,"Wheelerwillnevergivethatseminar."Andit'strue.Wheelerdidn'tgivetheseminar.Hethoughtitwouldheeasytoworkoutthequantumpart;hethoughthehadit,almost.Buthedidn't.Andbythetimetheseminarcamearound,herealizedhedidn'tknowhowtodoit,andthereforedidn'thaveanythingtosay.Ineversolvedit,either--aquantumtheoryofhalf-advanced,half-retardedpotentials--andIworkedonitforyears.

MixingPaintsThereasonwhyIsayI'm"uncultured"or"anti-intellectual"probablygoesallthewaybacktothetimewhenIwasinhighschool.Iwasalwaysworriedaboutbeingasissy;Ididn'twanttohetoodelicate.Tome,norealmaneverpaidanyattentiontopoetryandsuchthings.Howpoetryevergotwritten--thatneverstruckme!SoIdevelopedanegativeattitudetowardtheguywhostudiesFrenchliterature,orstudiestoomuchmusicorpoetry--allthose"fancy"things.Iadmiredbetterthesteel-worker,thewelder,orthemachineshopman.Ialwaysthoughttheguywhoworkedinthemachineshopandcouldmakethings,nowhewasarealguy!Thatwasmyattitude.Tobeapracticalmanwas,tome,alwayssomehowapositivevirtue,andtobe"cultured"or"intellectual"wasnot.Thefirstwasright,ofcourse,hutthesecondwascrazy.IstillhadthisfeelingwhenIwasdoingmygraduatestudyatPrinceton,asyou'llsee.IusedtoeatofteninanicelittlerestaurantcalledPapa'sPlace.OnedaywhileIwaseatingthere,apainterinhispaintingclothescamedownfromanupstairsroomhe'dbeenpainting,andsatnearme.Somehowwestruckupaconversationandhestartedtalkingabouthowyou'vegottolearnalottobeinthepaintingbusiness."Forexample,"hesaid,"inthisrestaurant,whatcolorswouldyouusetopaintthewalls,ifyouhadthejobtodo?"IsaidIdidn'tknow,andhesaid,"Youhaveadarkbanduptosuch-and-suchaheight,because,yousee,peoplewhositatthetablesrubtheirelbowsagainstthewalls,soyoudon'twantanice,whitewallthere.Itgetsdirtytooeasily.Butabovethat,youdowantitwhitetogiveafeelingofcleanlinesstotherestaurant."Theguyseemedtoknowwhathewasdoing,andIwassittingthere,hangingonhiswords,whenhesaid,"Andyoualsohavetoknowabout

colors--howtogetdifferentcolorswhenyoumixthepaint.Forexample,whatcolorswouldyoumixtogetyellow?"Ididn'tknowhowtogetyellowbymixingpaints.Ifit'slight,youmixgreenandred,butIknewhewastalkingpaints.SoIsaid,"Idon'tknowhowyougetyellowwithoutusingyellow.""Well,"hesaid,"ifyoumixredandwhite,you'llgetyellow.""Areyousureyoudon'tmeanpink?""No,"hesaid,"you'llgetyellow"--andIbelievedthathegotyellow,becausehewasaprofessionalpainter,andIalwaysadmiredguyslikethat.ButIstillwonderedhowhedidit.Igotanidea."Itmustbesomekindofchemicalchange.Wereyouusingsomespecialkindofpigmentsthatmakeachemicalchange?""No,"hesaid,"anyoldpigmentswillwork.Yougodowntothefive-and-tenandgetsomepaint--justaregularcanofredpaintandaregularcanofwhitepaint--andI'llmix'em,andI'llshowhowyougetyellow."AtthisjunctureIwasthinking,"Somethingiscrazy.Iknowenoughaboutpaintstoknowyouwon'tgetyellow,buthemustknowthatyoudogetyellow,andthereforesomethinginterestinghappens.I'vegottoseewhatitis!"SoIsaid,"OK,I'llgetthepaints."Thepainterwentbackupstairstofinishhispaintingjob,andtherestaurantownercameoverandsaidtome,"What'stheideaofarguingwiththatman?Themanisapainter;he'sbeenapainterallhislife,andhesayshegetsyellow.Sowhyarguewithhim?"Ifeltembarrassed.Ididn'tknowwhattosay.FinallyIsaid,"Allmylife,I'vebeenstudyinglight.AndIthinkthatwithredandwhiteyoucan'tgetyellow--youcanonlygetpink."SoIwenttothefive-and-tenandgotthepaint,andbroughtitbacktotherestaurant.Thepaintercamedownfromupstairs,andtherestaurantownerwastheretoo.Iputthecansofpaintonanoldchair,andthepainterbegantomixthepaint.Heputalittlemorered,heputalittlemorewhite--itstilllookedpinktome--andhemixedsomemore.Thenhemumbledsomethinglike,"Iusedtohavealittletubeofyellowheretosharpenitupabit--thenthis'llbeyellow.""Oh!"Isaid."Ofcourse!Youaddyellow,andyoucangetyellow,butyoucouldn'tdoitwithouttheyellow."

Thepainterwentbackupstairstopaint.Therestaurantownersaid,"Thatguyhashisnerve,arguingwithaguywho'sstudiedlightallhislife!"ButthatshowsyouhowmuchItrustedthese"realguys."ThepainterhadtoldmesomuchstuffthatwasreasonablethatIwasreadytogiveacertainchancethattherewasanoddphenomenonIdidn'tknow.Iwasexpectingpink,butmysetofthoughtswere,"Theonlywaytogetyellowwillbesomethingnewandinteresting,andI'vegottoseethis."I'veveryoftenmademistakesinmyphysicsbythinkingthetheoryisn'tasgoodasitreallyis,thinkingthattherearelotsofcomplicationsthataregoingtospoilit--anattitudethatanythingcanhappen,inspiteofwhatyou'reprettysureshouldhappen.

ADifferentBoxofToolsAtthePrincetongraduateschool,thephysicsdepartmentandthemathdepartmentsharedacommonlounge,andeverydayatfouro'clockwewouldhavetea.Itwasawayofrelaxingintheafternoon,inadditiontoimitatinganEnglishcollege.PeoplewouldsitaroundplayingGo,ordiscussingtheorems.Inthosedaystopologywasthebigthing.Istillrememberaguysittingonthecouch,thinkingveryhard,andanotherguystandinginfrontofhim,saying,"Andthereforesuch-and-suchistrue.""Whyisthat?"theguyonthecouchasks."It'strivial!It'strivial!"thestandingguysays,andherapidlyreelsoffaseriesoflogicalsteps:"Firstyouassumethus-and-so,thenwehaveKerchoff'sthis-and-that;thenthere'sWaffenstoffer'sTheorem,andwesubstitutethisandconstructthat.Nowyouputthevectorwhichgoesaroundhereandthenthus-and-so..."Theguyonthecouchisstrugglingtounderstandallthisstuff,whichgoesonathighspeedforaboutfifteenminutes!Finallythestandingguycomesouttheotherend,andtheguyonthecouchsays,"Yeah,yeah.It'strivial."Wephysicistswerelaughing,tryingtofigurethemout.Wedecidedthat"trivial"means"proved."Sowejokedwiththemathematicians:"Wehaveanewtheorem--thatmathematicianscanproveonlytrivialtheorems,becauseeverytheoremthat'sprovedistrivial."Themathematiciansdidn'tlikethattheorem,andIteasedthemaboutit.Isaidthereareneveranysurprises--thatthemathematiciansonlyprove

thingsthatareobvious.Topologywasnotatallobvioustothemathematicians.Therewereallkindsofweirdpossibilitiesthatwere"counterintuitive."ThenIgotanidea.Ichallengedthem:"Ibetthereisn'tasingletheoremthatyoucantellme--whattheassumptionsareandwhatthetheoremisintermsIcanunderstand--whereIcan'ttellyourightawaywhetherit'strueorfalse."Itoftenwentlikethis:Theywouldexplaintome,"You'vegotanorange,OK?Nowyoucuttheorangeintoafinitenumberofpieces,putitbacktogether,andit'sasbigasthesun.Trueorfalse?""Noholes?""Noholes.""Impossible!Thereain'tnosuchathing.""Ha!Wegothim!Everybodygatheraround!It'sSo-and-so'stheoremofimmeasurablemeasure!"Justwhentheythinkthey'vegotme,Iremindthem,"Butyousaidanorange!Youcan'tcuttheorangepeelanythinnerthantheatoms.""Butwehavetheconditionofcontinuity:Wecankeeponcutting!""No,yousaidanorange,soIassumedthatyoumeantarealorange."SoIalwayswon.IfIguesseditright,great.IfIguesseditwrong,therewasalwayssomethingIcouldfindintheirsimplificationthattheyleftout.Actually,therewasacertainamountofgenuinequalitytomyguesses.Ihadascheme,whichIstillusetodaywhensomebodyisexplainingsomethingthatI'mtryingtounderstand:Ikeepmakingupexamples.Forinstance,themathematicianswouldcomeinwithaterrifictheorem,andthey'reallexcited.Asthey'retellingmetheconditionsofthetheorem,Iconstructsomethingwhichfitsalltheconditions.Youknow,youhaveaset(oneball)--disjoint(twohalls).Thentheballsturncolors,growhairs,orwhatever,inmyheadastheyputmoreconditionson.Finallytheystatethetheorem,whichissomedumbthingabouttheballwhichisn'ttrueformyhairygreenballthing,soIsay,"False!"Ifit'strue,theygetallexcited,andIletthemgoonforawhile.ThenIpointoutmycounterexample."Oh.Weforgottotellyouthatit'sClass2Hausdorffhomomorphic."

"Well,then,"Isay,"It'strivial!It'strivial!"BythattimeIknowwhichwayitgoes,eventhoughIdon'tknowwhatHausdorffhomomorphicmeans.Iguessedrightmostofthetimebecausealthoughthemathematiciansthoughttheirtopologytheoremswerecounterintuitive,theyweren'treallyasdifficultastheylooked.Youcangetusedtothefunnypropertiesofthisultra-finecuttingbusinessanddoaprettygoodjobofguessinghowitwillcomeout.AlthoughIgavethemathematiciansalotoftrouble,theywerealwaysverykindtome.Theywereahappyhunchofboyswhoweredevelopingthings,andtheywereterrificallyexcitedaboutit.Theywoulddiscusstheir"trivial"theorems,andalwaystrytoexplainsomethingtoyouifyouaskedasimplequestion.PaulOlumandIsharedabathroom.Wegottobegoodfriends,andhetriedtoteachmemathematics.Hegotmeuptohomotopygroups,andatthatpointIgaveup.ButthethingsbelowthatIunderstoodfairlywell.OnethingIneverdidlearnwascontourintegration.IhadlearnedtodointegralsbyvariousmethodsshowninabookthatmyhighschoolphysicsteacherMr.Baderhadgivenme.Onedayhetoldmetostayafterclass."Feynman,"hesaid,"youtalktoomuchandyoumaketoomuchnoise.Iknowwhy.You'rebored.SoI'mgoingtogiveyouabook.Yougoupthereintheback,inthecorner,andstudythisbook,andwhenyouknoweverythingthat'sinthisbook,youcantalkagain."

Soeveryphysicsclass,IpaidnoattentiontowhatwasgoingonwithPascal'sLaw,orwhatevertheyweredoing.Iwasupinthebackwiththisbook:AdvancedCalculus,byWoods.BaderknewIhadstudiedCalculusforthePracticalManalittlebit,sohegavemetherealworks--itwasforajuniororseniorcourseincollege.IthadFourierseries,Besselfunctions,determinants,ellipticfunctions--allkindsofwonderfulstuffthatIdidn'tknowanythingabout.Thatbookalsoshowedhowtodifferentiateparametersundertheintegralsign--it'sacertainoperation.Itturnsoutthat'snottaughtverymuchintheuniversities;theydon'temphasizeit.ButIcaughtonhowtousethatmethod,andIusedthatonedamntoolagainandagain.SobecauseIwas

self-taughtusingthatbook,Ihadpeculiarmethodsofdoingintegrals.Theresultwas,whenguysatMITorPrincetonhadtroubledoingacertainintegral,itwasbecausetheycouldn'tdoitwiththestandardmethodstheyhadlearnedinschool.Ifitwascontourintegration,theywouldhavefoundit;ifitwasasimpleseriesexpansion,theywouldhavefoundit.ThenIcomealongandtrydifferentiatingundertheintegralsign,andoftenitworked.SoIgotagreatreputationfordoingintegrals,onlybecausemyboxoftoolswasdifferentfromeverybodyelse's,andtheyhadtriedalltheirtoolsonitbeforegivingtheproblemtome.

MindreadersMyfatherwasalwaysinterestedinmagicandcarnivaltricks,andwantingtoseehowtheyworked.Oneofthethingsheknewaboutwasmindreaders.WhenhewasalittleboygrowingupinasmalltowncalledPatchogue,inthemiddleofLongIsland,itwasannouncedonadvertisementspostedalloverthatamindreaderwascoiningnextWednesday.Theposterssaidthatsomerespectedcitizens--themayor,ajudge,abanker--shouldtakeafive-dollarbillandhideitsomewhere,andwhenthemindreadercametotown,hewouldfindit.Whenhecame,thepeoplegatheredaroundtowatchhimdohiswork.Hetakesthehandsofthebankerandthejudge,whohadhiddenthefive-dollarbill,andstartstowalkdownthestreet.Hegetstoanintersection,turnsthecorner,walksdownanotherstreet,thenanother,tothecorrecthouse.Hegoeswiththem,alwaysholdingtheirhands,intothehouse,uptothesecondfloor,intotherightroom,walksuptoabureau,letsgooftheirhands,opensthecorrectdrawer,andthere'sthefive-dollarbill.Verydramatic!Inthosedaysitwasdifficulttogetagoodeducation,sothemindreaderwashiredasatutorformyfather.Well,myfather,afteroneofhislessons,askedthemindreaderhowhewasabletofindthemoneywithoutanyonetellinghimwhereitwas.Themindreaderexplainedthatyouholdontotheirhands,looselyandasyoumove,youjigglealittlebit.Youcometoanintersection,whereyoucangoforward,totheleft,ortotheright.Youjigglealittlebittotheleft,andifit'sincorrect,youfeelacertainamountofresistance,becausetheydon'texpectyoutomovethatway.Butwhenyoumoveintherightdirection,becausetheythinkyoumightheabletodoit,theygivewaymoreeasilyandthere'snoresistance.Soyoumustalwaysbejigglingalittlebit,testingoutwhichseemstobetheeasiestway.Myfathertoldmethestoryandsaidhethoughtitwouldstilltakealotofpractice.Henevertriedithimself.

Later,whenIwasdoinggraduateworkatPrinceton,IdecidedtotryitonafellownamedBillWoodward.IsuddenlyannouncedthatIwasamindreader,andcouldreadhismind.Itoldhimtogointothe"laboratory"--abigroomwithrowsoftablescoveredwithequipmentofvariouskinds,withelectriccircuits,tools,andjunkallovertheplace--pickoutacertainobject,somewhere,andcomeout.Iexplained,"NowI'llreadyourmindandtakeyourightuptotheobject."Hewentintothelab,notedaparticularobject,andcameout.Itookhishandandstartedjiggling.Wewentdownthisaisle,thenthatone,righttotheobject.Wetrieditthreetimes.OnetimeIgottheobjectrighton--anditwasinthemiddleofawholehunchofstuff.AnothertimeIwenttotherightplacehutmissedtheobjectbyafewinches--wrongobject.Thethirdtime,somethingwentwrong.ButitworkedbetterthanIthought.Itwasveryeasy.Sometimeafterthat,whenIwasabouttwenty-sixorso,myfatherandIwenttoAtlanticCitywheretheyhadvariouscarnivalthingsgoingonoutdoors.Whilemyfatherwasdoingsomebusiness,Iwenttoseeamindreader.Hewasseatedonthestagewithhisbacktotheaudience,dressedinrobesandwearingagreatbigturban.Hehadanassistant,alittleguywhowasrunningaroundthroughtheaudience,sayingthingslike,"Oh,GreatMaster,whatisthecolorofthispocketbook?""Blue!"saysthemaster."Andoh,IllustriousSir,whatisthenameofthiswoman?""Marie!"Someguygetsup:"What'smyname?""Henry."Igetupandsay,"What'smyname?"Hedoesn'tanswer.Theotherguywasobviouslyaconfederate,butIcouldn'tfigureouthowthemindreaderdidtheothertricks,liketellingthecolorofthepocketbook.Didhewearearphonesunderneaththeturban?WhenImetupwithmyfather,Itoldhimaboutit.Hesaid,"Theyhaveacodeworkedout,butIdon'tknowwhatitis.Let'sgobackandfindout."

Wewentbacktotheplace,andmyfathersaidtome,"Here'sfiftycents.Gogetyourfortunereadintheboothbackthere,andI'llseeyouinhalfanhour."Iknewwhathewasdoing.Hewasgoingtotellthemanastory,anditwouldgosmootherifhissonwasn'ttheregoing,"Ooh,ooh!"allthetime.Hehadtogetmeoutoftheway.Whenhecamebackhetoldmethewholecode:"Blueis'Oh,GreatMaster,'Greenis'Oh,MostKnowledgeableOne,'"andsoforth.Heexplained,"Iwentuptohim,afterwards,andtoldhimIusedtodoashowinPatchogue,andwehadacode,butitcouldn'tdomanynumbers,andtherangeofcolorswasshorter.Iaskedhim,'Howdoyoucarrysomuchinformation?'"Themindreaderwassoproudofhiscodethathesatdownandexplainedthewholeworkstomyfather.Myfatherwasasalesman.Hecouldsetupasituationlikethat.Ican'tdostufflikethat.

TheAmateurScientistWhenIwasakidIhada"lab."Itwasn'talaboratoryinthesensethatIwouldmeasure,ordoimportantexperiments.Instead,Iwouldplay:I'dmakeamotor,I'dmakeagadgetthatwouldgooffwhensomethingpassedaphotocell.I'dplayaroundwithselenium;Iwaspiddlingaroundallthetime.Ididcalculatealittlebitforthelampbank,aseriesofswitchesandbulbsIusedasresistorstocontrolvoltages.Butallthatwasforapplication.Ineverdidanylaboratorykindofexperiments.Ialsohadamicroscopeandlovedtowatchthingsunderthemicroscope.Ittookpatience:IwouldgetsomethingunderthemicroscopeandIwouldwatchitinterminably.Isawmanyinterestingthings,likeeverybodysees--adiatomslowlymakingitswayacrosstheslide,andsoon.OnedayIwaswatchingaparameciumandIsawsomethingthatwasnotdescribedinthebooksIgotinschool--incollege,even.Thesebooksalwayssimplifythingssotheworldwillbemoreliketheywantittobe:Whenthey'retalkingaboutthebehaviorofanimals,theyalwaysstartoutwith,"Theparameciumisextremelysimple;ithasasimplebehavior.Itturnsasitsslippershapemovesthroughthewateruntilithitssomething,atwhichtimeitrecoils,turnsthroughanangle,andthenstartsoutagain."Itisn'treallyright.Firstofall,aseverybodyknows,theparamecia,fromtimetotime,conjugatewitheachother--theymeetandexchangenuclei.

Howdotheydecidewhenit'stimetodothat?(Nevermind;that'snotmyobservation.)Iwatchedtheseparameciahitsomething,recoil,turnthroughanangle,andgoagain.Theideathatit'smechanical,likeacomputerprogram--itdoesn'tlookthatway.Theygodifferentdistances,theyrecoildifferentdistances,theyturnthroughanglesthataredifferentinvariouscases;theydon'talwaysturntotheright;they'reveryirregular.Itlooksrandom,becauseyoudon'tknowwhatthey'rehitting;youdon'tknowallthechemicalsthey'resmelling,orwhat.OneofthethingsIwantedtowatchwaswhathappenstotheparameciumwhenthewaterthatit'sindriesup.Itwasclaimedthattheparameciumcandryupintoasortofhardenedseed.Ihadadropofwaterontheslideundermymicroscope,andinthedropofwaterwasaparameciumandsome"grass"--atthescaleoftheparamecium,itlookedlikeanetworkofjackstraws.Asthedropofwaterevaporated,overatimeoffifteenortwentyminutes,theparameciumgotintoatighterandtightersituation:therewasmoreandmoreofthisback-and-forthuntilitcouldhardlymove.Itwasstuckbetweenthese"sticks,"almostjammed.ThenIsawsomethingIhadneverseenorheardof:theparameciumlostitsshape.Itcouldflexitself,likeanamoeba.Itbegantopushitselfagainstoneofthesticks,andbegandividingintotwoprongsuntilthedivisionwasabouthalfwayuptheparamecium,atwhichtimeitdecidedthatwasn'taverygoodidea,andbackedaway.Somyimpressionoftheseanimalsisthattheirbehaviorismuchtoosimplifiedinthebooks.Itisnotsoutterlymechanicalorone-dimensionalastheysay.Theyshoulddescribethebehaviorofthesesimpleanimalscorrectly.Untilweseehowmanydimensionsofbehaviorevenaone-celledanimalhas,wewon'tbeabletofullyunderstandthebehaviorofmorecomplicatedanimals.Ialsoenjoyedwatchinghugs.IhadaninsectbookwhenIwasaboutthirteen.Itsaidthatdragonfliesarenotharmful;theydon'tsting.Inourneighborhooditwaswellknownthat"darningneedles,"aswecalledthem,wereverydangerouswhenthey'dsting.Soifwewereoutsidesomewhereplayingbaseball,orsomething,andoneofthesethingswouldflyaround,everybodywouldrunforcover,wavingtheirarms,yelling,"Adarningneedle!Adarningneedle!"SoonedayIwasonthebeach,andI'djustreadthisbookthatsaiddragonfliesdon'tsting.Adarningneedlecamealong,andeverybodywasscreamingandrunningaround,andIjustsatthere."Don'tworry!"Isaid."Darningneedlesdon'tsting!"

Thethinglandedonmyfoot.Everybodywasyellinganditwasabigmess,becausethisdarningneedlewassittingonmyfoot,AndthereIwas,thisscientificwonder,sayingitwasn'tgoingtostingme.You'resurethisisastorythat'sgoingtocomeoutthatitstingsme--butitdidn't.Thebookwasright.ButIdidsweatabit.Ialsohadalittlehandmicroscope.Itwasatoymicroscope,andIpulledthemagnificationpieceoutofit,andwouldholditinmyhandlikeamagnifyingglass,eventhoughitwasamicroscopeoffortyorfiftypower.Withcareyoucouldholdthefocus.SoIcouldgoaroundandlookatthingsrightoutinthestreet.SowhenIwasingraduateschoolatPrinceton,Ioncetookitoutofmypockettolookatsomeantsthatwerecrawlingaroundonsomeivy.Ihadtoexclaimoutloud,Iwassoexcited.WhatIsawwasanantandanaphid,whichantstakecareof--theycarrythemfromplanttoplantiftheplantthey'reonisdying.Inreturntheantsgetpartiallydigestedaphidjuice,called"honeydew."Iknewthat;myfatherhadtoldmeaboutit,butIhadneverseenit.Soherewasthisaphidandsureenough,anantcamealong,andpatteditwithitsfeet--allaroundtheaphid,pat,pat,pat,pat,pat.Thiswasterriblyexciting!Thenthejuicecameoutofthebackoftheaphid.Andbecauseitwasmagnified,itlookedlikeabig,beautiful,glisteningball,likeaballoon,becauseofthesurfacetension.Becausethemicroscopewasn'tverygood,thedropwascoloredalittlebitfromchromaticaberrationinthelens--itwasagorgeousthing!Theanttookthisballinitstwofrontfeet,lifteditofftheaphid,andheldit.Theworldissodifferentatthatscalethatyoucanpickupwaterandholdit!Theantsprobablyhaveafattyorgreasymaterialontheirlegsthatdoesn'tbreakthesurfacetensionofthewaterwhentheyholditup.Thentheantbrokethesurfaceofthedropwithitsmouth,andthesurfacetensioncollapsedthedroprightintohisgut.Itwasveryinterestingtoseethiswholethinghappen!InmyroomatPrincetonIhadabaywindowwithaU-shapedwindowsill.Onedaysomeantscameoutonthewindowsillandwanderedaroundalittlebit.Igotcuriousastohowtheyfoundthings.Iwondered,howdotheyknowwheretogo?Cantheytelleachotherwherefoodis,likebeescan?Dotheyhaveanysenseofgeometry?Thisisallamateurish;everybodyknowstheanswer,butIdidn'tknowtheanswer,sothefirstthingIdidwastostretchsomestringacrosstheU

ofthebaywindowandhangapieceoffoldedcardboardwithsugaronitfromthestring.Theideaofthiswastoisolatethesugarfromtheants,sotheywouldn'tfinditaccidentally.Iwantedtohaveeverythingundercontrol.

NextImadealotoflittlestripsofpaperandputafoldinthem,soIcouldpickupantsandferrythemfromoneplacetoanother.Iputthefoldedstripsofpaperintwoplaces:Somewerebythesugar(hangingfromthestring),andtheotherswereneartheantsinaparticularlocation.Isatthereallafternoon,readingandwatching,untilananthappenedtowalkontooneofmylittlepaperferries.ThenItookhimovertothesugar.Afterafewantshadbeenferriedovertothesugar,oneofthemaccidentallywalkedontooneoftheferriesnearby,andIcarriedhimback.Iwantedtoseehowlongitwouldtaketheotherantstogetthemessagetogotothe"ferryterminal."ItstartedslowlybutrapidlyincreaseduntilIwasgoingmadferryingtheantsbackandforth.Butsuddenly,wheneverythingwasgoingstrong,Ibegantodelivertheantsfromthesugartoadifferentspot.Thequestionnowwas,doestheantlearntogobacktowhereitjustcamefrom,ordoesitgowhereitwentthetimebefore?Afterawhiletherewerepracticallynoantsgoingtothefirstplace(whichwouldtakethemtothesugar),whereasthereweremanyantsatthesecondplace,millingaround,tryingtofindthesugar.SoIfiguredoutsofarthattheywentwheretheyjustcamefrom.Inanotherexperiment,Ilaidoutalotofglassmicroscopeslides,andgottheantstowalkonthem,backandforth,tosomesugarIputonthewindowsill.Then,byreplacinganoldslidewithanewone,orbyrearrangingtheslides,Icoulddemonstratethattheantshadnosenseofgeometry:theycouldn'tfigureoutwheresomethingwas.Iftheywenttothesugaronewayandtherewasashorterwayback,theywouldneverfigureouttheshortway.Itwasalsoprettyclearfromrearrangingtheglassslidesthattheantsleftsomesortoftrail.Sothencamealotofeasyexperimentstofindouthowlongittakesatrailtodryup,whetheritcanbeeasilywipedoff,andsoon.Ialsofoundoutthetrailwasn'tdirectional.IfI'dpickupanantonapieceofpaper,turnhimaroundandaround,andthenputhimbackontothetrail,hewouldn'tknowthathewasgoingthewrongwayuntilhemetanotherant.(Later,inBrazil,Inoticedsomeleaf-cuttingantsandtriedthesameexperimentonthem.Theycouldtell,withinafewsteps,whether

theyweregoingtowardthefoodorawayfromit--presumablyfromthetrail,whichmightbeaseriesofsmellsinapattern:A,B,space,A,B,space,andsoon.)Itriedatonepointtomaketheantsgoaroundinacircle,butIdidn'thaveenoughpatiencetosetitup.Icouldseenoreason,otherthanlackofpatience,whyitcouldn'tbedone.Onethingthatmadeexperimentingdifficultwasthatbreathingontheantsmadethemscurry.Itmustbeaninstinctivethingagainstsomeanimalthateatsthemordisturbsthem.Idon'tknowifitwasthewarmth,themoisture,orthesmellofmybreaththatbotheredthem,butIalwayshadtoholdmybreathandkindoflooktoonesidesoasnottoconfusetheexperimentwhileIwasferryingtheants.OnequestionthatIwonderedaboutwaswhytheanttrailslooksostraightandnice.Theantslookasiftheyknowwhatthey'redoing,asiftheyhaveagoodsenseofgeometry.YettheexperimentsthatIdidtotrytodemonstratetheirsenseofgeometrydidn'twork.Manyyearslater,whenIwasatCaltechandlivedinalittlehouseonAlamedaStreet,someantscameoutaroundthebathtub.Ithought,"Thisisagreatopportunity."Iputsomesugarontheotherendofthebathtub,andsattherethewholeafternoonuntilanantfinallyfoundthesugar.It'sonlyaquestionofpatience.Themomenttheantfoundthesugar,IpickedupacoloredpencilthatIhadready(Ihadpreviouslydoneexperimentsindicatingthattheantsdon'tgiveadamnaboutpencilmarks--theywalkrightoverthem--soIknewIwasn'tdisturbinganything),andbehindwheretheantwentIdrewalinesoIcouldtellwherehistrailwas.Theantwanderedalittlebitwrongtogetbacktothehole,sothelinewasquitewigglyunlikeatypicalanttrail.Whenthenextanttofindthesugarbegantogoback,Imarkedhistrailwithanothercolor.(Bythewayhefollowedthefirstant'sreturntrailback,ratherthanhisownincomingtrail.Mytheoryisthatwhenananthasfoundsomefood,heleavesamuchstrongertrailthanwhenhe'sjustwanderingaround.)Thissecondantwasinagreathurryandfollowed,prettymuch,theoriginaltrail.Butbecausehewasgoingsofasthewouldgostraightout,asifhewerecoasting,whenthetrailwaswiggly.Often,astheantwas"coasting,"hewouldfindthetrailagain.Alreadyitwasapparentthatthesecondant'sreturnwasslightlystraighter.Withsuccessiveantsthesame"improvement"ofthetrailbyhurriedlyandcarelessly"following"itoccurred.

Ifollowedeightortenantswithmypenciluntiltheirtrailsbecameaneatlinerightalongthebathtub.It'ssomethinglikesketching:Youdrawalousylineatfirst;thenyougooveritafewtimesanditmakesanicelineafterawhile.IrememberthatwhenIwasakidmyfatherwouldtellmehowwonderfulantsare,andhowtheycooperate.Iwouldwatchverycarefullythreeorfourantscarryingalittlepieceofchocolatebacktotheirnest.Atfirstglanceitlookslikeefficient,marvelous,brilliantcooperation.Butifyoulookatitcarefullyyou'llseethatit'snothingofthekind:They'reallbehavingasifthechocolateisheldupbysomethingelse.Theypullatitonewayortheotherway.Anantmaycrawloveritwhileit'sbeingpulledatbytheothers.Itwobbles,itwiggles,thedirectionsareallconfused.Thechocolatedoesn'tmoveinanicewaytowardthenest.TheBrazilianleaf-cuttingants,whichareotherwisesomarvelous,haveaveryinterestingstupidityassociatedwiththemthatI'msurprisedhasn'tevolvedout.Ittakesconsiderableworkfortheanttocutthecirculararcinordertogetapieceofleaf.Whenthecuttingisdone,there'safifty-fiftychancethattheantwillpullonthewrongside,lettingthepiecehejustcutfalltotheground.Halfthetime,theantwillyankandpullandyankandpullonthewrongpartoftheleaf,untilitgivesupandstartstocutanotherpiece.Thereisnoattempttopickupapiecethatit,oranyotherant,hasalreadycut.Soit'squiteobvious,ifyouwatchverycarefullythatit'snotabrilliantbusinessofcuttingleavesandcarryingthemaway;theygotoaleaf,cutanarc,andpickthewrongsidehalfthetimewhiletherightpiecefallsdown.InPrincetontheantsfoundmylarder,whereIhadjellyandbreadandstuff,whichwasquiteadistancefromthewindow.Alonglineofantsmarchedalongtheflooracrossthelivingroom.ItwasduringthetimeIwasdoingtheseexperimentsontheants,soIthoughttomyself,"WhatcanIdotostopthemfromcomingtomylarderwithoutkillinganyants?Nopoison;yougottabehumanetotheants!"

WhatIdidwasthis:Inpreparation,Iputabitofsugaraboutsixoreightinchesfromtheirentrypointintotheroom,thattheydidn'tknowabout.ThenImadethoseferrythingsagain,andwheneveranantreturningwithfoodwalkedontomylittleferryI'dcarryhimoverandputhimonthesugar.AnyantcomingtowardthelarderthatwalkedontoaferryIalsocarriedovertothesugar.Eventuallytheantsfoundtheirwayfromthesugartotheirhole,sothisnewtrailwasbeingdoublyreinforced,whiletheoldtrailwasbeingusedlessandless.Iknewthatafterhalfanhourorsotheoldtrailwoulddryup,andinanhourtheywereoutofmylarder.Ididn'twashthefloor;Ididn'tdoanythingbutferryants.

Part3Feynman,theBomb,andtheMilitaryFizzledFusesWhenthewarbeganinEuropebuthadnotyetbeendeclaredintheUnitedStates,therewasalotoftalkaboutgettingreadyandbeingpatriotic.ThenewspapershadbigarticlesonbusinessmenvolunteeringtogotoPlattsburg,NewYork,todomilitarytraining,andsoon.IbegantothinkIoughttomakesomekindofcontribution,too.AfterIfinishedupatMIT,afriendofminefromthefraternity,MauriceMeyer,whowasintheArmySignalCorps,tookmetoseeacolonelattheSignalCorpsofficesinNewYork."I'dliketoaidmycountrysir,andsinceI'mtechnicallyminded,maybethere'sawayIcouldhelp.""Well,you'dbetterjustgouptoPlattsburgtobootcampandgothroughbasictraining.Thenwe'llbeabletouseyou,"thecolonelsaid."Butisn'ttheresomewaytousemytalentmoredirectly?""No;thisisthewaythearmyisorganized.Gothroughtheregularway."Iwentoutsideandsatintheparktothinkaboutit.Ithoughtandthought:Maybethebestwaytomakeacontributionistogoalongwiththeirway.ButfortunatelyIthoughtalittlemore,andsaid,"Tohellwithit!I'llwaitawhile.Maybesomethingwillhappenwheretheycanusememoreeffectively"IwenttoPrincetontodograduatework,andinthespringIwentonceagaintotheBellLabsinNewYorktoapplyforasummerjob.IlovedtotourtheBellLabs.BillShockleytheguywhoinventedtransistors,wouldshowmearound.Iremembersomebody'sroomwheretheyhadmarkedawindow:TheGeorgeWashingtonBridgewasbeingbuilt,andtheseguysinthelabwerewatchingitsprogress.Theyhadplottedtheoriginalcurvewhenthemaincablewasfirstputup,andtheycouldmeasurethesmalldifferencesasthebridgewasbeingsuspendedfromit,asthecurveturnedintoaparabola.ItwasjustthekindofthingIwouldliketobeabletothinkofdoing.Iadmiredthoseguys;IwasalwayshopingIcouldworkwiththemoneday.Someguysfromthelabtookmeouttothisseafoodrestaurantforlunch,andtheywereallpleasedthattheyweregoingtohaveoysters.IlivedbytheoceanandIcouldn'tlookatthisstuff;Icouldn'teatfish,letaloneoysters.

Ithoughttomyself,"I'vegottabebrave.I'vegottaeatanoyster."Itookanoyster,anditwasabsolutelyterrible.ButIsaidtomyself,"Thatdoesn'treallyproveyou'reaman.Youdidn'tknowhowterribleitwasgonnabe.Itwaseasyenoughwhenitwasuncertain."Theotherskepttalkingabouthowgoodtheoysterswere,soIhadanotheroyster,andthatwasreallyharderthanthefirstone.Thistime,whichmusthavebeenmyfourthorfifthtimetouringtheBellLabs,theyacceptedme.Iwasveryhappy.Inthosedaysitwashardtofindajobwhereyoucouldbewithotherscientists.ButthentherewasabigexcitementatPrinceton.GeneralTrichelfromthearmycamearoundandspoketous:"We'vegottohavephysicists!Physicistsareveryimportanttousinthearmy!Weneedthreephysicists!"Youhavetounderstandthat,inthosedays,peoplehardlyknewwhataphysicistwas.Einsteinwasknownasamathematician,forinstance--soitwasrarethatanybodyneededphysicists.Ithought,"Thisismyopportunitytomakeacontribution,"andIvolunteeredtoworkforthearmy.IaskedtheBellLabsiftheywouldletmeworkforthearmythatsummer,andtheysaidtheyhadwarwork,too,ifthatwaswhatIwanted.ButIwascaughtupinapatrioticfeverandlostagoodopportunity.ItwouldhavebeenmuchsmartertoworkintheBellLabs.Butonegetsalittlesillyduringthosetimes.IwenttotheFrankfortArsenal,inPhiladelphia,andworkedonadinosaur:amechanicalcomputerfordirectingartillery.Whenairplanesflewbythegunnerswouldwatchtheminatelescope,andthismechanicalcomputer,withgearsandcamsandsoforth,wouldtrytopredictwheretheplanewasgoingtohe.Itwasamostbeautifullydesignedandbuiltmachine,andoneoftheimportantideasinitwasnon-circulargears--gearsthatweren'tcircular,butwouldmeshanyway.Becauseofthechangingradiiofthegears,oneshaftwouldturnasafunctionoftheother.However,thismachinewasattheendoftheline.Verysoonafterwards,electroniccomputerscamein.Aftersayingallthisstuffabouthowphysicistsweresoimportanttothearmythefirstthingtheyhadmedoingwascheckinggeardrawingstoseeifthenumberswereright.Thiswentonforquiteawhile.Then,graduallytheguyinchargeofthedepartmentbegantoseeIwasusefulforotherthings,andasthesummerwenton,hewouldspendmoretimediscussingthingswithme.OnemechanicalengineeratFrankfortwasalwaystryingtodesignthingsandcouldnevergeteverythingright.Onetimehedesignedaboxfull

ofgears,oneofwhichwasabig,eight-inch-diametergearwheelthathadsixspokes.Thefellasaysexcitedly"Well,boss,howisit?Howisit?""Justfine!"thebossreplies."Allyouhavetodoisspecifyashaftpasseroneachofthespokes,sothegearwheelcanturn!"Theguyhaddesignedashaftthatwentrightbetweenthespokes!Thebosswentontotellusthattherewassuchathingasashaftpasser(Ithoughthemusthavebeenjoking).ItwasinventedbytheGermansduringthewartokeeptheBritishminesweepersfromcatchingthecablesthatheldtheGermanminesfloatingunderwateratacertaindepth.Withtheseshaftpassers,theGermancablescouldallowtheBritishcablestopassthroughasiftheyweregoingthrougharevolvingdoor.Soitwaspossibletoputshaftpassersonallthespokes,butthebossdidn'tmeanthatthemachinistsshouldgotoallthattrouble;theguyshouldinsteadjustredesignitandputtheshaftsomewhereelse.

Everyonceinawhilethearmysentdownalieutenanttocheckonhowthingsweregoing.Ourbosstoldusthatsincewewereaciviliansection,thelieutenantwashigherinrankthananyofus."Don'ttellthelieutenantanything,"hesaid."Oncehebeginstothinkheknowswhatwe'redoing,he'llbegivingusallkindsofordersandscrewingeverythingup.BythattimeIwasdesigningsomethings,butwhenthelieutenantcamebyIpretendedIdidn'tknowwhatIwasdoing,thatIwasonlyfollowingorders."Whatareyoudoinghere,Mr.Feynman?""Well,Idrawasequenceoflinesatsuccessiveangles,andthenI'msupposedtomeasureoutfromthecenterdifferentdistancesaccordingtothistable,andlayitout."Well,whatisit?""Ithinkit'sacam."Ihadactuallydesignedthething,butIactedasifsomebodyhadjusttoldmeexactlywhattodo.Thelieutenantcouldn'tgetanyinformationfromanybodyandwewenthappilyalong,workingonthismechanicalcomputer,withoutanyinterference.Onedaythelieutenantcamebyandaskedusasimplequestion:"Supposethattheobserverisnotatthesamelocationasthegunner--howdoyou

handlethat?"Wegotaterribleshock.Wehaddesignedthewholebusinessusingpolarcoordinates,usinganglesandtheradiusdistance.WithXandYcoordinates,it'seasytocorrectforadisplacedobserver.It'ssimplyamatterofadditionorsubtraction.Butwithpolarcoordinates,it'saterriblemess!Soitturnedoutthatthislieutenantwhomweweretryingtokeepfromtellingusanythingendeduptellingussomethingveryimportantthatwehadforgotteninthedesignofthisdevice:thepossibilitythatthegunandtheobservingstationarenotatthesameplace!Itwasabigmesstofixit.NeartheendofthesummerIwasgivenmyfirstrealdesignjob:amachinethatwouldmakeacontinuouscurveoutofasetofpoints--onepointcomingineveryfifteenseconds--fromanewinventiondevelopedinEnglandfortrackingairplanes,called"radar."ItwasthefirsttimeIhadeverdoneanymechanicaldesigning,soIwasalittlebitfrightened.Iwentovertooneoftheotherguysandsaid,"You'reamechanicalengineer;Idon'tknowhowtodoanymechanicalengineering,andIjustgotthisjob"There'snothin'toit,"hesaid."Look,I'llshowyou.There'stworulesyouneedtoknowtodesignthesemachines.First,thefrictionineverybearingisso-and-somuch,andineverygearjunction,so-and-somuch.Fromthat,youcanfigureouthowmuchforceyouneedtodrivethething.Second,whenyouhaveagearratio,say2to1,andyouarewonderingwhetheryoushouldmakeit10to5or24to12or48to24,here'showtodecide:YoulookintheBostonGearCatalogue,andselectthosegearsthatareinthemiddleofthelist.Theonesatthehighendhavesomanyteeththey'rehardtomake.Iftheycouldmakegearswithevenfinerteeth,they'dhavemadethelistgoevenhigher.Thegearsatthelowendofthelisthavesofewteeththeybreakeasy.Sothebestdesignusesgearsfromthemiddleofthelist."Ihadalotoffundesigningthatmachine.Bysimplyselectingthegearsfromthemiddleofthelistandaddingupthelittletorqueswiththetwonumbershegaveme,Icouldbeamechanicalengineer!Thearmydidn'twantmetogobacktoPrincetontoworkonmydegreeafterthatsummer.Theykeptgivingmethispatrioticstuff,andofferedawholeprojectthatIcouldrun,ifIwouldstay.Theproblemwastodesignamachineliketheotherone--whattheycalledadirector--butthistimeIthoughttheproblemwaseasier,becausethegunnerwouldbefollowingbehindinanotherairplaneatthesamealtitude.Thegunnerwouldsetintomymachinehisaltitudeandanestimateofhis

distancebehindtheotherairplane.Mymachinewouldautomaticallytiltthegunupatthecorrectangleandsetthefuse.Asdirectorofthisproject,IwouldhemakingtripsdowntoAberdeentogetthefiringtables.However,theyalreadyhadsomepreliminarydata.Inoticedthatformostofthehigheraltitudeswheretheseairplaneswouldbeflying,therewasn'tanydata.SoIcalleduptofindoutwhytherewasn'tanydataanditturnedoutthatthefusestheyweregoingtousewerenotclockfuses,butpowder-trainfuses,whichdidn'tworkatthosealtitudes--theyfizzledoutinthethinair.IthoughtIonlyhadtocorrecttheairresistanceatdifferentaltitudes.Instead,myjobwastoinventamachinethatwouldmaketheshellexplodeattherightmoment,whenthefusewon'tburn!IdecidedthatwastoohardformeandwentbacktoPrinceton.

TestingBloodhoundsWhenIwasatLosAlamosandwouldgetalittletimeoff,Iwouldoftengovisitmywife,whowasinahospitalinAlbuquerque,afewhoursaway.OnetimeIwenttovisitherandcouldn'tgoinrightawaysoIwenttothehospitallibrarytoread.IreadanarticleinScienceaboutbloodhounds,andhowtheycouldsmellsoverywell.Theauthorsdescribedthevariousexperimentsthattheydid--thebloodhoundscouldidentifywhichitemshadbeentouchedbypeople,andsoon--andIbegantothink:Itisveryremarkablehowgoodbloodhoundsareatsmelling,beingabletofollowtrailsofpeople,andsoforth,buthowgoodarewe,actually?WhenthetimecamethatIcouldvisitmywife,Iwenttoseeher,andIsaid,"We'regonnadoanexperiment.ThoseCokebottlesoverthere(shehadasix-packofemptyCokebottlesthatshewassavingtosendout)--nowyouhaven'ttouchedtheminacoupleofdays,right?""That'sright."Itookthesix-packovertoherwithouttouchingthebottles,andsaid,"OK.NowI'llgoout,andyoutakeoutoneofthebottles,handleitforabouttwominutes,andthenputitback.ThenI'llcomein,andtrytotellwhichbottleitwas."SoIwentout,andshetookoutoneofthebottlesandhandleditforquiteawhile--lotsoftime,becauseI'mnobloodhound!Accordingtothearticle,theycouldtellifyoujusttouchedit.

ThenIcameback,anditwasabsolutelyobvious!Ididn'tevenhavetosmellthedamnthing,because,ofcourse,thetemperaturewasdifferent.Anditwasalsoobviousfromthesmell.Assoonasyouputitupnearyourface,youcouldsmellitwasdampishandwarmer.Sothatexperimentdidn'tworkbecauseitwastooobvious.ThenIlookedatthebookshelfandsaid,"Thosebooksyouhaven'tlookedatforawhile,right?Thistime,whenIgoout,takeonebookofftheshelf,andjustopenit--that'sall--andcloseitagain;thenputitback."SoIwentoutagain,shetookabook,openeditandclosedit,andputitback.Icamein--andnothingtoit!Itwaseasy.Youjustsmellthebooks.It'shardtoexplain,becausewe'renotusedtosayingthingsaboutit.Youputeachbookuptoyournoseandsniffafewtimes,andyoucantell.It'sverydifferent.Abookthat'sbeenstandingthereawhilehasadryuninterestingkindofsmell.Butwhenahandhastouchedit,there'sadampnessandasmellthat'sverydistinct.Wedidafewmoreexperiments,andIdiscoveredthatwhilebloodhoundsareindeedquitecapable,humansarenotasincapableastheythinktheyare:it'sjustthattheycarrytheirnosesohighofftheground!(I'venoticedthatmydogcancorrectlytellwhichwayI'vegoneinthehouse,especiallyifI'mbarefoot,bysmellingmyfootprints.SoItriedtodothat:Icrawledaroundtherugonmyhandsandknees,sniffing,toseeifIcouldtellthedifferencebetweenwhereIwalkedandwhereIdidn't,andIfounditimpossible.SothedogismuchbetterthanIam.)Manyyearslater,whenIwasfirstatCaltech,therewasapartyatProfessorBacher'shouse,andtherewerealotofpeoplefromCaltech.Idon'tknowhowitcameup,butIwastellingthemthisstoryaboutsmellingthebottlesandthebooks.Theydidn'tbelieveaword,naturallybecausetheyalwaysthoughtIwasafaker.Ihadtodemonstrateit.Wecarefullytookeightorninebooksofftheshelfwithouttouchingthemdirectlywithourhands,andthenIwentout.Threedifferentpeopletouchedthreedifferentbooks:theypickedoneup,openedit,closedit,andputitback.ThenIcameback,andsmelledeverybody'shands,andsmelledallthebooks--Idon'trememberwhichIdidfirst--andfoundallthreebookscorrectly;Igotonepersonwrong.Theystilldidn'tbelieveme;theythoughtitwassomesortofmagictrick.TheykepttryingtofigureouthowIdidit.There'safamoustrickof

thiskind,whereyouhaveaconfederateinthegroupwhogivesyousignalsastowhatitis,andtheyweretryingtofigureoutwhotheconfederatewas.SincethenI'veoftenthoughtthatitwouldbeagoodcardtricktotakeadeckofcardsandtellsomeonetopickacardandputitback,whileyou'reintheotherroom.Yousay,"NowI'mgoingtotellyouwhichcarditis,becauseI'mabloodhound:I'mgoingtosmellallthesecardsandtellyouwhichcardyoupicked."Ofcourse,withthatkindofpatter,peoplewouldn'tbelieveforaminutethatthat'swhatyouwereactuallydoing!People'shandssmellverydifferent--that'swhydogscanidentifypeople;youhavetotryit!Allhandshaveasortofmoistsmell,andapersonwhosmokeshasaverydifferentsmellonhishandsfromapersonwhodoesn't;ladiesoftenhavedifferentkindsofperfumes,andsoon.Ifsomebodyhappenedtohavesomecoinsinhispocketandhappenedtobehandlingthem,youcansmellthat.

LosAlamosfromBelow[AdaptedfromatalkgivenintheFirstAnnualSantaBarbaraLecturesonScienceandSocietyattheUniversityofCaliforniaatSantaBarbarain1975.'LosAlamosfromBelow"wasoneofninelecturesinaseriespublishedasReminiscencesofLosAlamos,1943--1945,editedbyL.Badashetal.,pp.105--132.CopyrightC1980byD.ReidelPublishingCompany,Dordrecht,Holland.]WhenIsay"LosAlamosfrombelow,"Imeanthat.AlthoughinmyfieldatthepresenttimeI'maslightlyfamousman,atthattimeIwasnotanybodyfamousatall.Ididn'tevenhaveadegreewhenIstartedtoworkwiththeManhattanProject.ManyoftheotherpeoplewhotellyouaboutLosAlamos--peopleinhigherechelons--worriedaboutsomebigdecisions.Iworriedaboutnobigdecisions.Iwasalwaysflitteringaboutunderneath.IwasworkinginmyroomatPrincetononedaywhenBobWilsoncameinandsaidthathehadbeenfundedtodoajobthatwasasecret,andhewasn'tsupposedtotellanybodybuthewasgoingtotellmebecauseheknewthatassoonasIknewwhathewasgoingtodo,I'dseethatIhadtogoalongwithit.Sohetoldmeabouttheproblemofseparatingdifferentisotopesofuraniumtoultimatelymakeabomb.Hehadaprocessforseparatingtheisotopesofuranium(differentfromtheonewhichwasultimatelyused)thathewantedtotrytodevelop.Hetoldmeaboutit,andhesaid,"There'sameeting..IsaidIdidn'twanttodoit.

Hesaid,"Allright,there'sameetingatthreeo'clock.I'llseeyouthere."Isaid,"It'sallrightthatyoutoldmethesecretbecauseI'mnotgoingtotellanybodybutI'mnotgoingtodoit."SoIwentbacktoworkonmythesis--foraboutthreeminutes.ThenIbegantopacethefloorandthinkaboutthisthing.TheGermanshadHitlerandthepossibilityofdevelopinganatomicbombwasobvious,andthepossibilitythattheywoulddevelopitbeforewedidwasverymuchofafright.SoIdecidedtogotothemeetingatthreeo'clock.Byfouro'clockIalreadyhadadeskinaroomandwastryingtocalculatewhetherthisparticularmethodwaslimitedbythetotalamountofcurrentthatyougetinanionbeam,andsoon.Iwon'tgointothedetails.ButIhadadesk,andIhadpaper,andIwasworkingashardasIcouldandasfastasIcould,sothefellaswhowerebuildingtheapparatuscoulddotheexperimentrightthere.Itwaslikethosemovingpictureswhereyouseeapieceofequipmentgobruuuuup,bruuuuup,bruuuuup.EverytimeI'dlookup,thethingwasgettingbigger.Whatwashappening,ofcourse,wasthatalltheboyshaddecidedtoworkonthisandtostoptheirresearchinscience.AllsciencestoppedduringthewarexceptthelittlebitthatwasdoneatLosAlamos.Andthatwasnotmuchscience;itwasmostlyengineering.Alltheequipmentfromdifferentresearchprojectswasbeingputtogethertomakethenewapparatustodotheexperiment--totrytoseparatetheisotopesofuranium.Istoppedmyownworkforthesamereason,thoughIdidtakeasix-weekvacationafterawhileandfinishedwritingmythesis.AndIdidgetmydegreejustbeforeIgottoLosAlamos--soIwasn'tquiteasfardownthescaleasIledyoutobelieve.OneofthefirstinterestingexperiencesIhadinthisprojectatPrincetonwasmeetinggreatmen.Ihadnevermetverymanygreatmenbefore.Buttherewasanevaluationcommitteethathadtotrytohelpusalong,andhelpusultimatelydecidewhichwayweweregoingtoseparatetheuranium.ThiscommitteehadmenlikeComptonandTolmanandSmythandUreyandRabiandOppenheimeronit.IwouldsitinbecauseIunderstoodthetheoryofhowourprocessofseparatingisotopesworked,andsothey'daskmequestionsandtalkaboutit.Inthesediscussionsonemanwouldmakeapoint.ThenCompton,forexample,wouldexplainadifferentpointofview.Hewouldsayitshouldbethisway,andhewasperfectlyright.Anotherguywouldsay,well,maybe,butthere'sthisotherpossibilitywehavetoconsideragainstit.Soeverybodyisdisagreeing,allaroundthetable.IamsurprisedanddisturbedthatComptondoesn'trepeatandemphasizehispoint.Finallyattheend,Tolman,who'sthechairman,wouldsay,"Well,havingheardallthesearguments,Iguessit'struethatCompton'sargumentisthebestofall,

andnowwehavetogoahead."Itwassuchashocktometoseethatacommitteeofmencouldpresentawholelotofideas,eachonethinkingofanewfacet,whilerememberingwhattheotherfellasaid,sothat,attheend,thedecisionismadeastowhichideawasthebest--summingitallup--withouthavingtosayitthreetimes.Thesewereverygreatmenindeed.Itwasultimatelydecidedthatthisprojectwasnottobetheonetheyweregoingtousetoseparateuranium.Weweretoldthenthatweweregoingtostop,becauseinLosAlamos,NewMexico,theywouldbestartingtheprojectthatwouldactuallymakethebomb.Wewouldallgoouttheretomakeit.Therewouldbeexperimentsthatwewouldhavetodo,andtheoreticalworktodo.Iwasinthetheoreticalwork.Alltherestofthefellaswereinexperimentalwork.Thequestionwas--Whattodonow?LosAlamoswasn'treadyyet.BobWilsontriedtomakeuseofthistimebyamongotherthings,sendingmetoChicagotofindoutallthatwecouldfindoutaboutthebombandtheproblems.Then,inourlaboratories,wecouldstarttobuildequipment,countersofvariouskinds,andsoon,thatwouldbeusefulwhenwegottoLosAlamos.Sonotimewaswasted.IwassenttoChicagowiththeinstructionstogotoeachgroup,tellthemIwasgoingtoworkwiththem,andhavethemtellmeaboutaprobleminenoughdetailthatIcouldactuallysitdownandstarttoworkonit.AssoonasIgotthatfar,Iwastogotoanotherguyandaskforanotherproblem.ThatwayIwouldunderstandthedetailsofeverything.Itwasaverygoodidea,butmyconsciencebotheredmealittlebitbecausetheywouldallworksohardtoexplainthingstome,andI'dgoawaywithouthelpingthem.ButIwasverylucky.Whenoneoftheguyswasexplainingaproblem,Isaid,"Whydon'tyoudoitbydifferentiatingundertheintegralsign?"Inhalfanhourhehaditsolved,andthey'dbeenworkingonitforthreemonths.So,Ididsomething,usingmy"differentboxoftools."ThenIcamebackfromChicago,andIdescribedthesituation--howmuchenergywasreleased,whatthebombwasgoingtohelike,andsoforth.Irememberafriendofminewhoworkedwithme,PaulOlum,amathematician,cameuptomeafterwardsandsaid,"Whentheymakeamovingpictureaboutthis,they'llhavetheguycomingbackfromChicagotomakehisreporttothePrincetonmenaboutthebomb.He'llbewearingasuit

andcarryingabriefcaseandsoon--andhereyou'reindirtyshirtsleevesandjusttellingusallaboutit,inspiteofitsbeingsuchaseriousanddramaticthing."TherestillseemedtobeadelayandWilsonwenttoLosAlamostofindoutwhatwasholdingthingsup.Whenhegotthere,hefoundthattheconstructioncompanywasworkingveryhardandhadfinishedthetheater,andafewotherbuildingsthattheyunderstood,huttheyhadn'tgotteninstructionsclearonhowtobuildalaboratory--howmanypipesforgas,howmuchforwater.SoWilsonsimplystoodaroundanddecided,thenandthere,howmuchwater,howmuchgas,andsoon,andtoldthemtostartbuildingthelaboratories.Whenhecamebacktous,wewereallreadytogoandweweregettingimpatient.Sotheyallgottogetheranddecidedwe'dgooutthereanywayeventhoughitwasn'tready.Wewererecruited,bythewaybyOppenheimerandotherpeople,andhewasverypatient.Hepaidattentiontoeverybody'sproblems.Heworriedaboutmywife,whohadTB,andwhethertherewouldheahospitaloutthere,andeverything.ItwasthefirsttimeImethiminsuchapersonalway;hewasawonderfulman.Weweretoldtobeverycareful--nottobuyourtrainticketinPrinceton,forexample,becausePrincetonwasaverysmallstation,andifeverybodyboughttrainticketstoAlbuquerque,NewMexico,inPrinceton,therewouldbesomesuspicionsthatsomethingwasup.Andsoeverybodyboughttheirticketssomewhereelse,exceptme,becauseIfiguredifeverybodyboughttheirticketssomewhereelse..SowhenIwenttothetrainstationandsaid,"IwanttogotoAlbuquerque,NewMexico,"themansays,"Oh,soallthisstuffisforyou!"Wehadbeenshippingoutcratesfullofcountersforweeksandexpectingthattheydidn'tnoticetheaddresswasAlbuquerque.SoatleastIexplainedwhyitwasthatwewereshippingallthosecrates;IwasgoingouttoAlbuquerque.Well,whenwearrived,thehousesanddormitoriesandthingslikethatwerenotready.Infact,eventhelaboratoriesweren'tquiteready.Wewerepushingthembycomingdownaheadoftime.Sotheyjustwentcrazyandrentedranchhousesallaroundtheneighborhood.Westayedatfirstinaranchhouseandwoulddriveininthemorning.ThefirstmorningIdroveinwastremendouslyimpressive.Thebeautyofthescenery,forapersonfromtheEastwhodidn'ttravelmuch,wassensational.Therearethegreatcliffsthatyou'veprobablyseeninpictures.You'dcomeupfrombelowandbeverysurprisedtoseethishighmesa.Themostimpressivethingtomewasthat,asIwasgoingup,Isaidthatmaybetherehadbeen

Indianslivinghere,andtheguywhowasdrivingstoppedthecarandwalkedaroundthecornerandpointedoutsomeIndiancavesthatyoucouldinspect.Itwasveryexciting.WhenIgottothesitethefirsttime,Isawtherewasatechnicalareathatwassupposedtohaveafencearounditultimatelybutitwasstillopen.Thentherewassupposedtobeatown,andthenabigfencefurtherout,aroundthetown.Buttheywerestillbuilding,andmyfriendPaulOlum,whowasmyassistant,wasstandingatthegatewithaclipboard,checkingthetruckscominginandoutandtellingthemwhichwaytogotodeliverthematerialsindifferentplaces.WhenIwentintothelaboratory,IwouldmeetmenIhadheardofbyseeingtheirpapersinthePhysicalReviewandsoon.Ihadnevermetthembefore."ThisisJohnWilliams,"they'dsay.Thenaguystandsupfromadeskthatiscoveredwithblueprints,hissleevesallrolledup,andhe'scallingoutthewindows,orderingtrucksandthingsgoingindifferentdirectionswithbuildingmaterial.Inotherwords,theexperimentalphysicistshadnothingtodountiltheirbuildingsandapparatuswereready,sotheyjustbuiltthebuildings--orassistedinbuildingthebuildings.Thetheoreticalphysicists,ontheotherhand,couldstartworkingrightawaysoitwasdecidedthattheywouldn'tliveintheranchhouses,butwouldliveupatthesite.Westartedworkingimmediately.Therewerenoblackboardsexceptforoneonwheels,andwe'drollitaroundandRobertSerberwouldexplaintousallthethingsthatthey'dthoughtofinBerkeleyabouttheatomicbomb,andnuclearphysics,andallthesethings.Ididn'tknowverymuchaboutit;Ihadbeendoingotherkindsofthings.SoIhadtodoanawfullotofwork.EverydayIwouldstudyandread,studyandread.Itwasaveryhectictime.ButIhadsomeluck.AllthebigshotsexceptforHansBethehappenedtobeawayatthetime,andwhatBetheneededwassomeonetotalkto,topushhisideasagainst.Well,hecomesintothislittlesquirtinanofficeandstartstoargue,explaininghisidea.Isay"No,no,you'recrazy.It'llgolikethis."Andhesays,"Justamoment,"andexplainshowhe'snotcrazy,I'mcrazy.Andwekeepongoinglikethis.Yousee,whenIhearaboutphysics,Ijustthinkaboutphysics,andIdon'tknowwhoI'mtalkingto,soIsaydopeythingslike"no,no,you'rewrong,"or"you'recrazy."Butitturnedoutthat'sexactlywhatheneeded.Igotanotchuponaccountofthat,andIendedupasagroupleaderunderBethewithfourguysunderme.Well,whenIwasfirstthere,asIsaid,thedormitoriesweren'tready.Butthetheoreticalphysicistshadtostayupthereanyway.Thefirstplacetheyputuswasinanoldschoolbuilding--aboys'schoolthathadbeentherepreviously.1livedinathingcalledtheMechanics'Lodge.Wewereall

jammedinthereinbunkbeds,anditwasn'torganizedverywellbecauseBobChristyandhiswifehadtogotothebathroomthroughourbedroom.Sothatwasveryuncomfortable.Atlastthedormitorywasbuilt.Iwentdowntotheplacewhereroomswereassigned,andtheysaid,youcanpickyourroomnow.YouknowwhatIdid?Ilookedtoseewherethegirls'dormitorywas,andthenIpickedaroomthatlookedrightacross--thoughlaterIdiscoveredabigtreewasgrowingrightinfrontofthewindowofthatroom.Theytoldmetherewouldbetwopeopleinaroom,butthatwouldonlybetemporary.Everytworoomswouldshareabathroom,andtherewouldbedouble-deckerbunksineachroom.ButIdidn'twanttwopeopleintheroom.ThenightIgotthere,nobodyelsewasthere,andIdecidedtotrytokeepmyroomtomyself.MywifewassickwithTBinAlbuquerque,butIhadsomeboxesofstuffofhers.SoItookoutalittlenightgown,openedthetopbed,andthrewthenightgowncarelesslyonit.Itookoutsomeslippers,andIthrewsomepowderonthefloorinthebathroom.Ijustmadeitlooklikesomebodyelsewasthere.So,whathappened?Well,it'ssupposedtobeamen'sdormitorysee?SoIcamehomethatnight,andmypajamasarefoldednicelyandputunderthepillowatthebottom,andmyslippersputnicelyatthebottomofthebed.Thelady'snightgownisnicelyfoldedunderthepillow,thebedisallfixedupandmade,andtheslippersareputdownnicely.Thepowderiscleanedfromthebathroomandnobodyissleepingintheupperbed.Nextnight,thesamething.WhenIwakeup,Irumpleupthetopbed,Ithrowthenightgownonitsloppilyandscatterthepowderinthebathroomandsoon.Iwentonlikethisforfournightsuntileverybodywassettledandtherewasnomoredangerthattheywouldputasecondpersonintheroom.Eachnight,everythingwassetoutveryneatlyeventhoughitwasamen'sdormitory.

Ididn'tknowitthen,butthislittlerusegotmeinvolvedinpolitics.Therewereallkindsoffactionsthere,ofcourse--thehousewives'faction,themechanics'faction,thetechnicalpeoples'faction,andsoon.Well,thebachelorsandbachelorgirlswholivedinthedormitoryfelttheyhadtohaveafactiontoo,becauseanewrulehadbeenpromulgated:NoWomenintheMen'sDorm.Well,thisisabsolutelyridiculous!Afterall,wearegrownpeople!Whatkindofnonsenseisthis?Wehadtohavepoliticalaction.Sowedebatedthisstuff,andIwaselectedtorepresentthedormitorypeopleinthetowncouncil.

AfterI'dbeeninitforaboutayearandahalf,IwastalkingtoHansBetheaboutsomething.Hewasonthebiggoverningcouncilallthistime,andItoldhimaboutthistrickwithmywife'snightgownandbedroomslippers.Hestartedtolaugh."Sothat'showyougotonthetowncouncil,"hesaid.Itturnedoutthatwhathappenedwasthis.Thewomanwhocleanstheroomsinthedormitoryopensthisdoor,andallofasuddenthereistrouble:somebodyissleepingwithoneoftheguys!Shereportstothechiefcharwoman,thechiefcharwomanreportstothelieutenant,thelieutenantreportstothemajor.Itgoesallthewayupthroughthegeneralstothegoverningboard.Whataretheygoingtodo?They'regoingtothinkaboutit,that'swhat!But,inthemeantime,whatinstructionsgodownthroughthecaptains,downthroughthemajors,throughthelieutenants,throughthechars'chief,throughthecharwoman?"Justputthingsbackthewaytheyare,clean'emup,andseewhathappens."Nextdaysamereport.Forfourdays,theyworriedupthereaboutwhattheyweregoingtodo.Finallytheypromulgatedarule:NoWomenintheMen'sDormitory!Andthatcausedsuchastinkdownbelowthattheyhadtoelectsomebodytorepresentthe...Iwouldliketotellyousomethingaboutthecensorshipthatwehadthere.TheydecidedtodosomethingutterlyillegalandcensorthemailofpeopleinsidetheUnitedStates--whichtheyhavenorighttodo.Soithadtobesetupverydelicatelyasavoluntarything.Wewouldallvolunteernottosealtheenvelopesoftheletterswesentout,anditwouldheallrightforthemtoopenletterscomingintous;thatwasvoluntarilyacceptedbyus.Wewouldleaveourlettersopen;andtheywouldsealthemiftheywereOK.Iftheyweren'tOKintheiropinion,theywouldsendtheletterbacktouswithanotethattherewasaviolationofsuchandsuchaparagraphofour"understanding."So,verydelicatelyamongstalltheseliberal-mindedscientificguys,wefinallygotthecensorshipsetup,withmanyrules.Wewereallowedtocommentonthecharacteroftheadministrationifwewantedto,sowecouldwriteoursenatorandtellhimwedidn'tlikethewaythingswererun,andthingslikethat.Theysaidtheywouldnotifyusiftherewereanydifficulties.Soitwasallsetup,andherecomesthefirstdayforcensorship:Telephone!Briiing!Me:"What?""Pleasecomedown."Icomedown."What'sthis?"

"It'saletterfrommyfather.""Well,whatisit?"There'slinedpaper,andthere'stheselinesgoingoutwithdots--fourdotsunder,onedotabove,twodotsunder,onedotabove,dotunderdot..."What'sthat?"Isaid,"It'sacode."Theysaid,"Yeah,it'sacode,butwhatdoesitsay?"Isaid,"Idon'tknowwhatitsays."Theysaid,"Well,what'sthekeytothecode?Howdoyoudecipherit?"Isaid,"Well,Idon'tknow."Thentheysaid,"What'sthis?"Isaid,"It'saletterfrommywife--itsaysTJXYWZTW1X3.""What'sthat?"Isaid,"Anothercode.""What'sthekeytoit?""Idon'tknow."Theysaid,"You'rereceivingcodes,andyoudon'tknowthekey?"Isaid,"Precisely.Ihaveagame.IchallengethemtosendmeacodethatIcan'tdecipher,see?Sothey'remakingupcodesattheotherend,andthey'resendingthemin,andthey'renotgoingtotellmewhatthekeyis."Nowoneoftherulesofthecensorshipwasthattheyaren'tgoingtodisturbanythingthatyouwouldordinarilysendinthemail.Sotheysaid,"Well,you'regoingtohavetotellthempleasetosendthekeyinwiththecode."Isaid,"Idon'twanttoseethekey!"Theysaid,"Well,allright,we'lltakethekeyout."

Sowehadthatarrangement.OK?Allright.NextdayIgetaletterfrommywifethatsays,"It'sverydifficultwritingbecauseIfeelthatthe----islookingovermyshoulder."Andwherethewordwasthereisasplotchmadewithinkeradicator.

SoIwentdowntothebureau,andIsaid,"You'renotsupposedtotouchtheincomingmailifyoudon'tlikeit.Youcanlookatit,butyou'renotsupposedtotakeanythingout."Theysaid,"Don'tberidiculous.Doyouthinkthat'sthewaycensorswork--withinkeradicator?Theycutthingsoutwithscissors."IsaidOK.SoIwrotealetterbacktomywifeandsaid,."Didyouuseinkeradicatorinyourletter?"Shewritesback,"No,Ididn'tuseinkeradicatorinmyletter,itmusthavebeenthe----"--andthere'saholecutoutofthepaper.SoIwentbacktothemajorwhowassupposedtobeinchargeofallthisandcomplained.Youknow,thistookalittletime,butIfeltIwassortoftherepresentativetogetthethingstraightenedout.Themajortriedtoexplaintomethatthesepeoplewhowerethecensorshadbeentaughthowtodoit,buttheydidn'tunderstandthisnewwaythatwehadtobesodelicateabout.So,anywayhesaid,"What'sthematter,don'tyouthinkIhavegoodwill?"Isaid,"Yes,youhaveperfectlygoodwillhutIdon'tthinkyouhavepower."Because,yousee,hehadalreadybeenonthejobthreeorfourdays.Hesaid,"We'llseeaboutthat!"Hegrabsthetelephone,andeverythingisstraightenedout.Nomoreisthelettercut.However,therewereanumberofotherdifficulties.Forexample,onedayIgotaletterfrommywifeandanotefromthecensorthatsaid,"Therewasacodeenclosedwithoutthekeyandsoweremovedit."SowhenIwenttoseemywifeinAlbuquerquethatday,shesaid,"Well,where'sallthestuff?"Isaid,"Whatstuff?"Shesaid,"Litharge,glycerine,hotdogs,laundry."Isaid,"Waitaminute--thatwasalist?"Shesaid,"Yes.""Thatwasacode,"Isaid."Theythoughtitwasacode--litharge,glycerine,etc."(Shewantedlithargeandglycerinetomakeacementtofixan

onyxbox.)Allthiswentoninthefirstfewweeksbeforewegoteverythingstraightenedout.Anway,onedayI'mpiddlingaroundwiththecomputingmachine,andInoticesomethingverypeculiar.Ifyoutake1dividedby243youget.004115226337It'squitecute:Itgoesalittlecockeyedafter559whenyou'recarryingbutitsoonstraightensitselfoutandrepeatsitselfnicely.Ithoughtitwaskindofamusing.Well,Iputthatinthemail,anditcomesbacktome.Itdoesn'tgothrough,andthere'salittlenote:"LookatParagraph17B."IlookatParagraph17B.Itsays,"LettersaretobewrittenonlyinEnglish,Russian,Spanish,Portuguese,Latin,German,andsoforth.Permissiontouseanyotherlanguagemustbeobtainedinwriting."Andthenitsaid,"Nocodes."SoIwrotebacktothecensoralittlenoteincludedinmyletterwhichsaidthatIfeelthatofcoursethiscannotbeacode,becauseifyouactuallydodivide1by243,youdo,infact,getallthat,andthereforethere'snomoreinformationinthenumber.004115226337...thanthereisinthenumber243--whichishardlyanyinformationatall.Andsoforth.IthereforeaskedforpermissiontouseArabicnumeralsinmyletters.SoIgotthatthroughallright.Therewasalwayssomekindofdifficultywiththelettersgoingbackandforth.Forexample,mywifekeptmentioningthefactthatshefeltuncomfortablewritingwiththefeelingthatthecensorislookingoverhershoulder.Now,asarule,wearen'tsupposedtomentioncensorship.Wearen't,buthowcantheytellher?Sotheykeepsendingmeanote:"Yourwifementionedcensorship."Certainlymywifementionedcensorship.Sofinallytheysentmeanotethatsaid,"Pleaseinformyourwifenottomentioncensorshipinherletters."SoIstartmyletter:"Ihavebeeninstructedtoinformyounottomentioncensorshipinyourletters."Phoom,phoooom,itcomesrightback!SoIwrite,"Ihavebeeninstructedtoinformmywifenottomentioncensorship.HowintheheckamIgoingtodoit?Furthermore,whydoIhavetoinstructhernottomentioncensorship?Youkeepingsomethingfromme?"Itisveryinterestingthatthecensorhimselfhastotellmetotellmywifenottotellmethatshe's...Buttheyhadananswer.Theysaid,yes,thattheyareworriedaboutmailbeinginterceptedonthewayfromAlbuquerque,andthatsomeonemightfindoutthattherewascensorshipiftheylookedinthemail,andwouldshepleaseactmuchmorenormal.

SoIwentdownthenexttimetoAlbuquerque,andItalkedtoherandIsaid,"Now,look,let'snotmentioncensorship."Butwehadhadsomuchtroublethatweatlastworkedoutacode,somethingillegal.IfIwouldputadotattheendofmysignature,itmeantIhadhadtroubleagain,andshewouldmoveontothenextofthemovesthatshehadconcocted.Shewouldsittherealldaylong,becauseshewasill,andshewouldthinkofthingstodo.Thelastthingshedidwastosendmeanadvertisementwhichshefoundperfectlylegitimately.Itsaid,"Sendyourboyfriendaletteronajigsawpuzzle.Wesellyoutheblank,youwritetheletteronit,takeitallapart,putitinalittlesack,andmailit."Ireceivedthatonewithanotesaying,"Wedonothavetimetoplaygames.Pleaseinstructyourwifetoconfineherselftoordinaryletters."Well,wewerereadywiththeonemoredot,buttheystraightenedoutjustintimeandwedidn'thavetouseit.Thethingwehadreadyforthenextonewasthattheletterwouldstart,"IhopeyourememberedtoopenthislettercarefullybecauseIhaveincludedthePepto-Bismolpowderforyourstomachaswearranged."Itwouldbealetterfullofpowder.Intheofficeweexpectedtheywouldopenitquicklythepowderwouldgoalloverthefloor,andtheywouldgetallupsetbecauseyouarenotsupposedtoupsetanything.They'dhavetogatherupallthisPepto-Bismol...Butwedidn'thavetousethatone.Asaresultofalltheseexperienceswiththecensor,Iknewexactlywhatcouldgetthroughandwhatcouldnotgetthrough.NobodyelseknewaswellasI.AndsoImadealittlemoneyoutofallofthisbymakingbets.

OnedayIdiscoveredthattheworkmenwholivedfurtheroutandwantedtocomeinweretoolazytogoaroundthroughthegate,andsotheyhadcutthemselvesaholeinthefence.SoIwentoutthegate,wentovertotheholeandcamein,wentoutagain,andsoon,untilthesergeantatthegatebegantowonderwhatwashappening.Howcomethisguyisalwaysgoingoutandnevercomingin?And,ofcourse,hisnaturalreactionwastocallthelieutenantandtrytoputmeinjailfordoingthis.Iexplainedthattherewasahole.Yousee,Iwasalwaystryingtostraightenpeopleout.AndsoImadeabetwithsomebodythatIcouldtellabouttheholeinthefenceinaletter,andmailitout.Andsureenough,Idid.AndthewayIdiditwasIsaid,Youshouldseethewaytheyadministerthisplace(that'swhatwewereallowedtosay).There'saholeinthefenceseventy-onefeetawayfromsuch-and-suchaplace,that'sthissizeandthatsize,thatyoucanwalkthrough.Now,whatcantheydo?Theycan'tsaytomethatthereisnosuchhole.Imean,whataretheygoingtodo?It'stheirownhardluckthatthere's

suchahole.Theyshouldfixthehole.SoIgotthatonethrough.Ialsogotthroughaletterthattoldabouthowoneoftheboyswhoworkedinoneofmygroups,JohnKemenyhadbeenwakenedupinthemiddleofthenightandgrilledwithlightsinfrontofhimbysomeidiotsinthearmytherebecausetheyfoundoutsomethingabouthisfather,whowassupposedtobeacommunistorsomething.Kemenyisafamousmannow.Therewereotherthings.Liketheholeinthefence,Iwasalwaystryingtopointthesethingsoutinanon-directmanner.AndoneofthethingsIwantedtopointoutwasthis--thatattheverybeginningwehadterriblyimportantsecrets;we'dworkedoutlotsofstuffaboutbombsanduraniumandhowitworked,andsoon;andallthisstuffwasindocumentsthatwereinwoodenfilingcabinetsthathadlittle,ordinarycommonpadlocksonthem.Ofcourse,therewerevariousthingsmadebytheshop,likearodthatwouldgodownandthenapadlocktoholdit,butitwasalwaysjustapadlock.Furthermore,youcouldgetthestuffoutwithoutevenopeningthepadlock.Youjusttiltthecabinetoverbackwards.Thebottomdrawerhasalittlerodthat'ssupposedtoholdthepaperstogether,andthere'salongwideholeinthewoodunderneath.Youcanpullthepapersoutfrombelow.SoIusedtopickthelocksallthetimeandpointoutthatitwasveryeasytodo.Andeverytimewehadameetingofeverybodytogether,Iwouldgetupandsaythatwehaveimportantsecretsandweshouldn'tkeeptheminsuchthings;weneedbetterlocks.OnedayTellergotupatthemeeting,andhesaidtome,"Idon'tkeepmymostimportantsecretsinmyfilingcabinet;Ikeeptheminmydeskdrawer.Isn'tthatbetter?"Isaid,"Idon'tknow.Ihaven'tseenyourdeskdrawer."Hewassittingnearthefrontofthemeeting,andI'msittingfurtherback.Sothemeetingcontinues,andIsneakoutandgodowntoseehisdeskdrawer.Idon'tevenhavetopickthelockonthedeskdrawer.Itturnsoutthatifyouputyourhandintheback,underneath,youcanpulloutthepaperlikethosetoiletpaperdispensers.Youpulloutone,itpullsanother,itpullsanother...Iemptiedthewholedamndrawer,puteverythingawaytooneside,andwentbackupstairs.Themeetingwasjustending,andeverybodywascomingout,andIjoinedthecrewandrantocatchupwithTeller,andIsaid,"Oh,bythewayletmeseeyourdeskdrawer.""Certainly,"hesaid,andheshowedmethedesk.Ilookedatitandsaid,"Thatlooksprettygoodtome.Let'sseewhatyouhaveinthere."

"I'llbeverygladtoshowittoyou,"hesaid,puttinginthekeyandopeningthedrawer."If,"hesaid,"youhadn'talreadyseenityourself."ThetroublewithplayingatrickonahighlyintelligentmanlikeMr.Telleristhatthetimeittakeshimtofigureoutfromthemomentthatheseesthereissomethingwrongtillheunderstandsexactlywhathappenedistoodamnsmalltogiveyouanypleasure!SomeofthespecialproblemsIhadatLosAlamoswereratherinteresting.OnethinghadtodowiththesafetyoftheplantatOakRidge,Tennessee.LosAlamoswasgoingtomakethebomb,butatOakRidgetheyweretryingtoseparatetheisotopesofuranium--uranium238anduranium235,theexplosiveone.Theywerejustbeginningtogetinfinitesimalamountsfromanexperimentalthingof235,andatthesametimetheywerepracticingthechemistry.Therewasgoingtobeabigplant,theyweregoingtohavevatsofthestuff,andthentheyweregoingtotakethepurifiedstuffandrepurifyandgetitreadyforthenextstage.(Youhavetopurifyitinseveralstages.)Sotheywerepracticingontheonehand,andtheywerejustgettingalittlebitofU235fromoneofthepiecesofapparatusexperimentallyontheotherhand.Andtheyweretryingtolearnhowtoassayit,todeterminehowmuchuranium235thereisinit.Thoughwewouldsendtheminstructions,theynevergotitright.SofinallyEmilSegr�saidthattheonlypossiblewaytogetitrightwasforhimtogodownthereandseewhattheyweredoing.Thearmypeoplesaid,"No,itisourpolicytokeepalltheinformationofLosAlamosatoneplace."ThepeopleinOakRidgedidn'tknowanythingaboutwhatitwastoheusedfor;theyjustknewwhattheyweretryingtodo.Imeanthehigherpeopleknewtheywereseparatinguranium,buttheydidn'tknowhowpowerfulthebombwas,orexactlyhowitworkedoranything.Thepeopleunderneathdidn'tknowatallwhattheyweredoing.Andthearmywantedtokeepitthatway.Therewasnoinformationgoingbackandforth.ButSegreinsistedthey'dnevergettheassaysright,andthewholethingwouldgoupinsmoke.Sohefinallywentdowntoseewhattheyweredoing,andashewaswalkingthroughhesawthemwheelingatankcarboyofwater,greenwater--whichisuraniumnitratesolution.Hesaid,"Uh,you'regoingtohandleitlikethatwhenit'spurifiedtoo?Isthatwhatyou'regoingtodo?"Theysaid,"Sure--whynot?""Won'titexplode?"hesaid.Huh!Explode?Thenthearmysaid,"Yousee!Weshouldn'thaveletanyinformationgettothem!Nowtheyareallupset."

Itturnedoutthatthearmyhadrealizedhowmuchstuffweneededtomakeabomb--twentykilogramsorwhateveritwas--andtheyrealizedthatthismuchmaterial,purified,wouldneverbeintheplant,sotherewasnodanger.Buttheydidnotknowthattheneutronswereenormouslymoreeffectivewhentheyaresloweddowninwater.Inwaterittakeslessthanatenth--no,ahundredth--asmuchmaterialtomakeareactionthatmakesradioactivity.Itkillspeoplearoundandsoon.Itwasverydangerous,andtheyhadnotpaidanyattentiontothesafetyatall.

SoatelegramgoesfromOppenheimertoSegr�:"Gothroughtheentireplant.Noticewherealltheconcentrationsaresupposedtobe,withtheprocessastheydesignedit.Wewillcalculateinthemeantimehowmuchmaterialcancometogetherbeforethere'sanexplosion."Twogroupsstartedworkingonit.Christy'sgroupworkedonwatersolutionsandmygroupworkedondrypowderinboxes.Wecalculatedabouthowmuchmaterialtheycouldaccumulatesafely.AndChristywasgoingtogodownandtellthemallatOakRidgewhatthesituationwas,becausethiswholethingisbrokendownandwehavetogodownandtellthemnow.SoIhappilygaveallmynumberstoChristyandsaid,youhaveallthestuff,sogo.Christygotpneumonia;Ihadtogo.Ihadnevertraveledonanairplanebefore.Theystrappedthesecretsinalittlethingonmyback!Theairplaneinthosedayswaslikeabus,exceptthestationswerefurtherapart.Youstoppedoffeveryonceinawhiletowait.Therewasaguystandingtherenexttomeswingingachain,sayingsomethinglike,"Itmustbeterriblydifficulttoflywithoutapriorityonairplanesthesedays."Icouldn'tresist.Isaid,"Well,Idon'tknow.Ihaveapriority.Alittlebitlaterhetriedagain."Therearesomegeneralscoming.Theyaregoingtoputoffsomeofusnumberthrees.""It'sallright,"Isaid."I'manumbertwo."Heprobablywrotetohiscongressman--ifhewasn'tacongressmanhimself--saying,"Whataretheydoingsendingtheselittlekidsaroundwithnumbertwoprioritiesinthemiddleofthewar?"Atanyrate,IarrivedatOakRidge.ThefirstthingIdidwashavethemtakemetotheplant,andIsaidnothing.Ijustlookedateverything.IfoundoutthatthesituationwasevenworsethanSegr�reported,becausehenoticedcertainboxesinbiglotsinaroom,buthedidn'tnoticealotof

boxesinanotherroomontheothersideofthesamewall--andthingslikethat.Now,ifyouhavetoomuchstufftogether,itgoesup,yousee.SoIwentthroughtheentireplant.IhaveaverybadmemorybutwhenIworkintensivelyIhaveagoodshorttermmemoryandsoIcouldrememberallkindsofcrazythingslikebuilding90-207,vatnumberso-and-so,andsoforth.Iwenttomyroomthatnight,andwentthroughthewholething,explainedwhereallthedangerswere,andwhatyouwouldhavetodotofixthis.It'srathereasy.Youputcadmiuminsolutionstoabsorbtheneutronsinthewater,andyouseparatetheboxessotheyarenottoodense,accordingtocertainrules.Thenextdaytherewasgoingtoheabigmeeting.IforgottosaythatbeforeIleftLosAlamosOppenheimersaidtome,"Now,thefollowingpeoplearetechnicallyabledownthereatOakRidge:Mr.JulianWebb,Mr.So-and-so,andsoon.Iwantyoutomakesurethatthesepeopleareatthemeeting,thatyoutellthemhowthethingcanhemadesafe,sothattheyreallyunderstand."Isaid,"Whatifthey'renotatthemeeting?WhatamIsupposedtodo?"Hesaid,"Thenyoushouldsay:LosAlamoscannotaccepttheresponsibilityforthesafetyoftheOakRidgeplantunless----!"Isaid,"Youmeanme,littleRichard,isgoingtogointhereandsay--?"Hesaid,"Yes,littleRichard,yougoanddothat."Ireallygrewupfast!WhenIarrived,sureenough,thebigshotsinthecompanyandthetechnicalpeoplethatIwantedwerethere,andthegeneralsandeveryonewhowasinterestedinthisveryseriousproblem.Thatwasgoodbecausetheplantwouldhaveblownupifnobodyhadpaidattentiontothisproblem.TherewasaLieutenantZumwaltwhotookcareofme.HetoldmethatthecolonelsaidIshouldn'ttellthemhowtheneutronsworkandallthedetailsbecausewewanttokeepthingsseparate,sojusttellthemwhattodotokeepitsafe.Isaid,"Inmyopinionitisimpossibleforthemtoobeyabunchofrulesunlesstheyunderstandhowitworks.It'smyopinionthatit'sonlygoingtoworkifItellthem,andLosAlamoscannotaccepttheresponsibilityforthesafetyoftheOakRidgeplantunlesstheyarefullyinformedastohowitworks!"Itwasgreat.Thelieutenanttakesmetothecolonelandrepeatsmyremark.Thecolonelsays,"Justfiveminutes,"andthenhegoestothe

windowandhestopsandthinks.That'swhatthey'reverygoodat--makingdecisions.IthoughtitwasveryremarkablehowaproblemofwhetherornotinformationastohowthebombworksshouldbeintheOakRidgeplanthadtobedecidedandcouldbedecidedinfiveminutes.SoIhaveagreatdealofrespectforthesemilitaryguys,becauseInevercandecideanythingveryimportantinanylengthoftimeatall.Infiveminuteshesaid,"Allright,Mr.Feynman,goahead."IsatdownandItoldthemallaboutneutrons,howtheyworked,dada,tatata,therearetoomanyneutronstogether,you'vegottokeepthematerialapart,cadmiumabsorbs,andslowneutronsaremoreeffectivethanfastneutrons,andyakyak--allofwhichwaselementarystuffatLosAlamos,buttheyhadneverheardofanyofit,soIappearedtobeatremendousgeniustothem.Theresultwasthattheydecidedtosetuplittlegroupstomaketheirowncalculationstolearnhowtodoit.Theystartedtoredesignplants,andthedesignersoftheplantswerethere,theconstructiondesigners,andengineers,andchemicalengineersforthenewplantthatwasgoingtohandletheseparatedmaterial.Theytoldmetocomebackinafewmonths,soIcamebackwhentheengineershadfinishedthedesignoftheplant.Nowitwasformetolookattheplant.Howdoyoulookataplantthatisn'tbuiltyet?Idon'tknow.LieutenantZumwalt,whowasalwayscomingaroundwithmebecauseIhadtohaveanescorteverywhere,takesmeintothisroomwheretherearethesetwoengineersandaloooooongtablecoveredwithastackofblueprintsrepresentingthevariousfloorsoftheproposedplant.

ItookmechanicaldrawingwhenIwasinschool,butIamnotgoodatreadingblueprints.Sotheyunrollthestackofblueprintsandstarttoexplainittome,thinkingIamagenius.Now,oneofthethingstheyhadtoavoidintheplantwasaccumulation.Theyhadproblemslikewhenthere'sanevaporatorworking,whichistryingtoaccumulatethestuff,ifthevalvegetsstuckorsomethinglikethatandtoomuchstuffaccumulates,it'llexplode.Sotheyexplainedtomethatthisplantisdesignedsothatifanyonevalvegetsstucknothingwillhappen.Itneedsatleasttwovalveseverywhere.Thentheyexplainhowitworks.Thecarbontetrachloridecomesinhere,theuraniumnitratefromherecomesinhere,itgoesupanddown,it

goesupthroughthefloor,comesupthroughthepipes,comingupfromthesecondfloor,bluuuuurp--goingthroughthestackofblueprints,downup-down-up,talkingveryfast,explainingtheveryverycomplicatedchemicalplant.I'mcompletelydazed,Worse,Idon'tknowwhatthesymbolsontheblueprintmean!ThereissomekindofathingthatatfirstIthinkisawindow.It'sasquarewithalittlecrossinthemiddle,alloverthedamnplace.Ithinkit'sawindow,butno,itcan'tbeawindow,becauseitisn'talwaysattheedge.Iwanttoaskthemwhatitis.Youmusthavebeeninasituationlikethiswhenyoudidn'taskthemrightaway.RightawayitwouldhavebeenOK.Butnowthey'vebeentalkingalittlebittoolong.Youhesitatedtoolong.Ifyouaskthemnowthey'llsay"Whatareyouwastingmytimeallthistimefor?"WhatamIgoingtodo?Igetanidea.Maybeit'savalve.ItakemyfingerandIputitdownononeofthemysteriouslittlecrossesinthemiddleofoneoftheblueprintsonpagethree,andIsay"Whathappensifthisvalvegetsstuck?"--figuringthey'regoingtosay"That'snotavalve,sir,that'sawindow."Soonelooksattheotherandsays,"Well,ifthatvalvegetsstuck--"andhegoesupanddownontheblueprint,upanddown,theotherguygoesupanddown,backandforth,backandforth,andtheybothlookateachother.Theyturnaroundtomeandtheyopentheirmouthslikeastonishedfishandsay"You'reabsolutelyright,sir."Sotheyrolleduptheblueprintsandawaytheywentandwewalkedout.AndMr.Zumwalt,whohadbeenfollowingmeallthewaythrough,said,"You'reagenius.IgottheideayouwereageniuswhenyouwentthroughtheplantonceandyoucouldtellthemaboutevaporatorC-21inbuilding90-207thenextmorning,"hesays,"butwhatyouhavejustdoneissofantasticIwanttoknowhow,howdoyoudothat?"Itoldhimyoutrytofindoutwhetherit'savalveornot.AnotherkindofproblemIworkedonwasthis.Wehadtodolotsofcalculations,andwedidthemonMarchantcalculatingmachines.Bytheway,justtogiveyouanideaofwhatLosAlamoswaslike:WehadtheseMarchantcomputers--handcalculatorswithnumbers.Youpushthem,andtheymultiplydivide,add,andsoon,butnoteasyliketheydonow.Theyweremechanicalgadgets,failingoften,andtheyhadtobesentbacktothefactorytoberepaired.Prettysoonyouwererunningoutofmachines.Afewofusstartedtotakethecoversoff.(Weweren'tsupposedto.Therulesread:"Youtakethecoversoff,wecannotberesponsible...")Sowetookthecoversoffandwegotaniceseriesoflessonsonhowtofixthem,and

wegotbetterandbetteratitaswegotmoreandmoreelaboraterepairs.Whenwegotsomethingtoocomplicated,wesentitbacktothefactorybutwe'ddotheeasyonesandkeptthethingsgoing.Iendedupdoingallthecomputersandtherewasaguyinthemachineshopwhotookcareoftypewriters.Anywaywedecidedthatthebigproblem--whichwastofigureoutexactlywhathappenedduringthebomb'simplosion,soyoucanfigureoutexactlyhowmuchenergywasreleasedandsoon--requiredmuchmorecalculatingthanwewerecapableof.AcleverfellowbythenameofStanleyFrankelrealizedthatitcouldpossiblyhedoneonIBMmachines.TheIBMcompanyhadmachinesforbusinesspurposes,addingmachinescalledtabulatorsforlistingsums,andamultiplierthatyouputcardsinanditwouldtaketwonumbersfromacardandmultiplythem.Therewerealsocollatorsandsortersandsoon.SoFrankelfiguredoutaniceprogram.Ifwegotenoughofthesemachinesinaroom,wecouldtakethecardsandputthemthroughacycle.EverybodywhodoesnumericalcalculationsnowknowsexactlywhatI'mtalkingabout,butthiswaskindofanewthingthen--massproductionwithmachines.Wehaddonethingslikethisonaddingmachines.Usuallyyougoonestepacross,doingeverythingyourself.Butthiswasdifferent--whereyougofirsttotheadder,thentothemultiplier,thentotheadder,andsoon.SoFrankeldesignedthissystemandorderedthemachinesfromtheIBMcompanybecausewerealizeditwasagoodwayofsolvingourproblems.Weneededamantorepairthemachines,tokeepthemgoingandeverything.Andthearmywasalwaysgoingtosendthisfellowtheyhad,buthewasalwaysdelayed.Now,wealwayswereinahurry.Everythingwedid,wetriedtodoasquicklyaspossible.Inthisparticularcase,weworkedoutallthenumericalstepsthatthemachinesweresupposedtodo--multiplythis,andthendothis,andsubtractthat.Thenweworkedouttheprogram,butwedidn'thaveanymachinetotestiton.Sowesetupthisroomwithgirlsinit.EachonehadaMarchant:onewasthemultiplier,anotherwastheadder.Thisonecubed--allshedidwascubeanumberonanindexcardandsendittothenextgirl.Wewentthroughourcyclethiswayuntilwegotallthebugsout.Itturnedoutthatthespeedatwhichwewereabletodoitwasahellofalotfasterthantheotherwaywhereeverysinglepersondidallthesteps.WegotspeedwiththissystemthatwasthepredictedspeedfortheIBMmachine.TheonlydifferenceisthattheIBMmachinesdidn'tgettiredandcouldworkthreeshifts.Butthegirlsgottiredafterawhile.Anywaywegotthebugsoutduringthisprocess,andfinallythemachinesarrived,butnottherepairman.Theseweresomeofthemost

complicatedmachinesofthetechnologyofthosedays,bigthingsthatcamepartiallydisassembled,withlotsofwiresandblueprintsofwhattodo.Wewentdownandweputthemtogether,StanFrankelandIandanotherfellow,andwehadourtroubles.Mostofthetroublewasthebigshotscominginallthetimeandsaying,"You'regoingtobreaksomething!"Weputthemtogether,andsometimestheywouldwork,andsometimestheywereputtogetherwrongandtheydidn'twork.FinallyIwasworkingonsomemultiplierandIsawabentpartinside,butIwasafraidtostraightenitbecauseitmightsnapoff--andtheywerealwaystellingusweweregoingtobustsomethingirreversibly.Whentherepairmanfinallygotthere,hefixedthemachineswehadn'tgotreadyandeverythingwasgoing.ButhehadtroublewiththeonethatIhadhadtroublewith.Afterthreedayshewasstillworkingonthatonelastmachine.Iwentdown.Isaid,"Oh,Inoticedthatwasbent."Hesaid,"Oh,ofcourse.That'sallthereistoit!"Bend!Itwasallright.Sothatwasit.

Well,Mr.Frankel,whostartedthisprogram,begantosufferfromthecomputerdiseasethatanybodywhoworkswithcomputersnowknowsabout.It'saveryseriousdiseaseanditinterferescompletelywiththework.Thetroublewithcomputersisyouplaywiththem.Theyaresowonderful.Youhavetheseswitches--ifit'sanevennumberyoudothis,ifit'sanoddnumberyoudothat--andprettysoonyoucandomoreandmoreelaboratethingsifyouarecleverenough,ononemachine.Afterawhilethewholesystembrokedown.Frankelwasn'tpayinganyattention;hewasn'tsupervisinganybody.Thesystemwasgoingvery,veryslowly--whilehewassittinginaroomfiguringouthowtomakeonetabulatorautomaticallyprintarc-tangentX,andthenitwouldstartanditwouldprintcolumnsandthenbitsi,bitsi,bitsi,andcalculatethearc-tangentautomaticallybyintegratingasitwentalongandmakeawholetableinoneoperation.Absolutelyuseless.Wehadtablesofarc-tangents.Butifyou'veeverworkedwithcomputers,youunderstandthedisease--thedelightinbeingabletoseehowmuchyoucando.Buthegotthediseaseforthefirsttime,thepoorfellowwhoinventedthething.IwasaskedtostopworkingonthestuffIwasdoinginmygroupandgodownandtakeovertheIBMgroup,andItriedtoavoidthedisease.And,althoughtheyhaddoneonlythreeproblemsinninemonths,Ihadaverygoodgroup.

Therealtroublewasthatnoonehadevertoldthesefellowsanything.ThearmyhadselectedthemfromalloverthecountryforathingcalledSpecialEngineerDetachment--cleverboysfromhighschoolwhohadengineeringability.TheysentthemuptoLosAlamos.Theyputtheminbarracks.Andtheywouldtellthemnothing.Thentheycametowork,andwhattheyhadtodowasworkonIBMmachines--punchingholes,numbersthattheydidn'tunderstand.Nobodytoldthemwhatitwas.Thethingwasgoingveryslowly.Isaidthatthefirstthingtherehastobeis.thatthesetechnicalguysknowwhatwe'redoing.OppenheimerwentandtalkedtothesecurityandgotspecialpermissionsoIcouldgiveanicelectureaboutwhatweweredoing,andtheywereallexcited:"We'refightingawar!Weseewhatitis!"Theyknewwhatthenumbersmeant.Ifthepressurecameouthigher,thatmeanttherewasmoreenergyreleased,andsoonandsoon.Theyknewwhattheyweredoing.Completetransformation!Theybegantoinventwaysofdoingitbetter.Theyimprovedthescheme.Theyworkedatnight.Theydidn'tneedsupervisinginthenight;theydidn'tneedanything.Theyunderstoodeverything;theyinventedseveraloftheprogramsthatweused.Somyboysreallycamethrough,andallthathadtobedonewastotellthemwhatitwas.Asaresult,althoughittookthemninemonthstodothreeproblemsbefore,wedidnineproblemsinthreemonths,whichisnearlytentimesasfast.Butoneofthesecretwayswedidourproblemswasthis.Theproblemsconsistedofahunchofcardsthathadtogothroughacycle.Firstadd,thenmultiply--andsoitwentthroughthecycleofmachinesinthisroom,slowly,asitwentaroundandaround.Sowefiguredawaytoputadifferentcoloredsetofcardsthroughacycletoo,butoutofphase.We'ddotwoorthreeproblemsatatime.Butthisgotusintoanotherproblem.Neartheendofthewar,forinstance,justbeforewehadtomakeatestinAlbuquerque,thequestionwas:Howmuchenergywouldbereleased?Wehadbeencalculatingthereleasefromvariousdesigns,butwehadn'tcomputedforthespecificdesignthatwasultimatelyused.SoBobChristycamedownandsaid,"Wewouldliketheresultsforhowthisthingisgoingtoworkinonemonth"--orsomeveryshorttime,likethreeweeks.Isaid,"It'simpossible."Hesaid,"Look,you'reputtingoutnearlytwoproblemsamonth.Ittakesonlytwoweeksperproblem,orthreeweeksperproblem."Isaid,"Iknow.Itreallytakesmuchlongertodotheproblem,butwe'redoingtheminparallel.Astheygothrough,ittakesalongtimeand

there'snowaytomakeitgoaroundfaster."Hewentout,andIbegantothink.Isthereawaytomakeitgoaroundfaster?Whatifwedidnothingelseonthemachine,sonothingelsewasinterfering?Iputachallengetotheboysontheblackboard--CANWEDOIT?Theyallstartyelling,"Yes,we'llworkdoubleshifts,we'llworkovertime,"allthiskindofthing."We'lltryit.We'lltryit!"Andsotherulewas:Allotherproblemsout.Onlyoneproblemandjustconcentrateonthisone.Sotheystartedtowork.Mywife,Arlene,wasillwithtuberculosis--veryillindeed.Itlookedasifsomethingmighthappenatanyminute,soIarrangedaheadoftimewithafriendofmineinthedormitorytoborrowhiscarinanemergencysoIcouldgettoAlbuquerquequickly.HisnamewasKlausFuchs.Hewasthespy,andheusedhisautomobiletotaketheatomicsecretsawayfromLosAlamosdowntoSantaFe.Butnobodyknewthat.Theemergencyarrived.IborrowedFuchs'scarandpickedupacoupleofhitchhikers,incasesomethinghappenedwiththecaronthewaytoAlbuquerque.Sureenough,justasweweredrivingintoSantaFe,wegotaflattire.Thetwoguyshelpedmechangethetire,andjustaswewereleavingSantaFe,anothertirewentflat.Wepushedthecarintoanearbygasstation.Thegasstationguywasrepairingsomebodyelse'scar,anditwasgoingtotakeawhilebeforehecouldhelpus.Ididn'teventhinktosayanything,butthetwohitchhikerswentovertothegasstationmanandtoldhimthesituation.Soonwehadanewtire(butnospare--tireswerehardtogetduringthewar).AboutthirtymilesoutsideAlbuquerqueathirdtirewentflat,soIleftthecarontheroadandwehitchhikedtherestoftheway.IphonedagaragetogooutandgetthecarwhileIwenttothehospitaltoseemywife.ArlenediedafewhoursafterIgotthere.Anursecameintofilloutthedeathcertificate,andwentoutagain.Ispentalittlemoretimewithmywife.ThenIlookedattheclockIhadgivenhersevenyearsbefore,whenshehadfirstbecomesickwithtuberculosis.Itwassomethingwhichinthosedayswasverynice:adigitalclockwhosenumberswouldchangebyturningaroundmechanically.Theclockwasverydelicateandoftenstoppedforonereasonoranother--Ihadtorepairitfromtimetotime--butIkeptitgoingforallthoseyears.Now,ithadstoppedoncemore--at9:22,thetimeonthedeathcertificate!IrememberedthetimeIwasinmyfraternityhouseatMITwhentheideacameintomyheadcompletelyoutofthebluethatmygrandmother

wasdead.Rightafterthattherewasatelephonecall,justlikethat.ItwasforPeteBernays--mygrandmotherwasn'tdead.SoIrememberedthat,in

casesomebodytoldmeastorythatendedtheotherway.Ifiguredthatsuchthingscansometimeshappenbyluck--afterall,mygrandmotherwasveryold--althoughpeoplemightthinktheyhappenedbysomesortofsupernaturalphenomenon.Arlenehadkeptthisclockbyherbedsideallthetimeshewassick,andnowitstoppedthemomentshedied.Icanunderstandhowapersonwhohalfbelievesinthepossibilityofsuchthings,andwhohasn'tgotadoubtingmind--especiallyinacircumstancelikethat--doesn'timmediatelytrytofigureoutwhathappened,butinsteadexplainsthatnoonetouchedtheclock,andtherewasnopossibilityofexplanationbynormalphenomena.Theclocksimplystopped.Itwouldbecomeadramaticexampleofthesefantasticphenomena.Isawthatthelightintheroomwaslow,andthenIrememberedthatthenursehadpickeduptheclockandturnedittowardthelighttoseethefacebetter.Thatcouldeasilyhavestoppedit.Iwentforawalkoutside.MaybeIwasfoolingmyself,butIwassurprisedhowIdidn'tfeelwhatIthoughtpeoplewouldexpecttofeelunderthecircumstances.Iwasn'tdelighted,butIdidn'tfeelterriblyupset,perhapsbecauseIhadknownforsevenyearsthatsomethinglikethiswasgoingtohappen.Ididn'tknowhowIwasgoingtofaceallmyfriendsupatLosAlamos.Ididn'twantpeoplewithlongfacestalkingtomeaboutit.WhenIgotback(yetanothertirewentflatontheway),theyaskedmewhathappened."She'sdead.Andhow'stheprogramgoing?"TheycaughtonrightawaythatIdidn'twanttomoonoverit.(Ihadobviouslydonesomethingtomyselfpsychologically:Realitywassoimportant--IhadtounderstandwhatreallyhappenedtoArlene,physiologically--thatIdidn'tcryuntilanumberofmonthslater,whenIwasinOakRidge.Iwaswalkingpastadepartmentstorewithdressesinthewindow,andIthoughtArlenewouldlikeoneofthem.Thatwastoomuchforme.)WhenIwentbacktoworkonthecalculationprogram,Ifounditinamess:Therewerewhitecards,therewerebluecards,therewereyellowcards,andIstartedtosay,"You'renotsupposedtodomorethanoneproblem--onlyoneproblem!"Theysaid,"Getout,getout,getout.Wait--and

we'llexplaineverything."SoIwaited,andwhathappenedwasthis.Asthecardswentthrough,sometimesthemachinemadeamistake,ortheyputawrongnumberin.Whatweusedtohavetodowhenthathappenedwastogobackanddoitoveragain.Buttheynoticedthatamistakemadeatsomepointinonecycleonlyaffectsthenearbynumbers,thenextcycleaffectsthenearbynumbers,andsoon.Itworksitswaythroughthepackofcards.Ifyouhavefiftycardsandyoumakeamistakeatcardnumberthirty-nine,itaffectsthirty-seven,thirty-eight,andthirty-nine.Thenext,cardthirty-six,thirty-seven,thirty-eight,thirty-nine,andforty.Thenexttimeitspreadslikeadisease.Sotheyfoundanerrorbackaway,andtheygotanidea.Theywouldonlycomputeasmalldeckoftencardsaroundtheerror.Andbecausetencardscouldheputthroughthemachinefasterthanthedeckoffiftycards,theywouldgorapidlythroughwiththisotherdeckwhiletheycontinuedwiththefiftycardswiththediseasespreading.Buttheotherthingwascomputingfaster,andtheywouldsealitallupandcorrectit.Veryclever.Thatwasthewaythoseguysworkedtogetspeed.Therewasnootherway.Iftheyhadtostoptotrytofixit,we'dhavelosttime.Wecouldn'thavegotit.Thatwaswhattheyweredoing.Ofcourse,youknowwhathappenedwhiletheyweredoingthat.Theyfoundanerrorinthebluedeck.Andsotheyhadayellowdeckwithalittlefewercards;itwasgoingaroundfasterthanthebluedeck.Justwhentheyaregoingcrazy--becauseaftertheygetthisstraightenedout,theyhavetofixthewhitedeck--thebosscomeswalkingin."Leaveusalone,"theysay.Ileftthemaloneandeverythingcameout.Wesolvedtheproblemintimeandthat'sthewayitwas.Iwasanunderlingatthebeginning.LaterIbecameagroupleader.AndImetsomeverygreatmen.Itisoneofthegreatexperiencesofmylifetohavemetallthesewonderfulphysicists.Therewas,ofcourse,EnricoFermi.HecamedownoncefromChicago,toconsultalittlebit,tohelpusifwehadsomeproblems.Wehadameetingwithhim,andIhadbeendoingsomecalculationsandgottensomeresults.Thecalculationsweresoelaborateitwasverydifficult.Now,usuallyIwastheexpertatthis;Icouldalwaystellyouwhattheanswerwasgoingtolooklike,orwhenIgotitIcouldexplainwhy.ButthisthingwassocomplicatedIcouldn'texplainwhyitwaslikethat.SoItoldFermiIwasdoingthisproblem,andIstartedtodescribetheresults.Hesaid,"Wait,beforeyoutellmetheresult,letmethink.It's

goingtocomeoutlikethis(hewasright),andit'sgoingtocomeoutlikethisbecauseofsoandso.Andthere'saperfectlyobviousexplanationforthis--"HewasdoingwhatIwassupposedtohegoodat,tentimesbetter.Thatwasquitealessontome.ThentherewasJohnvonNeumann,thegreatmathematician.WeusedtogoforwalksonSunday.We'dwalkinthecanyons,oftenwithBetheandBobBacher.Itwasagreatpleasure.AndvonNeumanngavemeaninterestingidea:thatyoudon'thavetoberesponsiblefortheworldthatyou'rein.SoIhavedevelopedaverypowerfulsenseofsocialirresponsibilityasaresultofvonNeumann'sadvice.It'smademeaveryhappymaneversince.ButitwasvonNeumannwhoputtheseedinthatgrewintomyactiveirresponsibility!IalsometNielsBohr.HisnamewasNicholasBakerinthosedays,andhecametoLosAlamoswithJimBaker,hisson,whosenameisreallyAageBohr.TheycamefromDenmark,andtheywereveryfamousphysicists,asyouknow.Eventothebigshotguys,Bohrwasagreatgod.Wewereatameetingonce,thefirsttimehecame,andeverybodywantedtoseethegreatBohr.Sotherewerealotofpeoplethere,andwewerediscussingtheproblemsofthebomb.Iwasbackinacornersomewhere.Hecameandwent,andallIcouldseeofhimwasfrombetweenpeople'sheads.Inthemorningofthedayhe'sduetocomenexttime,Igetatelephonecall."Hello--Feynman?"

"Yes.""ThisisJimBaker."It'shisson."MyfatherandIwouldliketospeaktoyou.""Me?I'mFeynman,I'mjusta--""That'sright.Iseighto'clockOK?"So,ateighto'clockinthemorning,beforeanybody'sawake,Igodowntotheplace.Wegointoanofficeinthetechnicalareaandhesays,"Wehavebeenthinkinghowwecouldmakethebombmoreefficientandwethinkofthefollowingidea."Isay,"No,it'snotgoingtowork.It'snotefficient...Blab,blab,blah."

Sohesays,"Howaboutsoandso?"Isaid,"Thatsoundsalittlebitbetter,butit'sgotthisdamnfoolideainit."Thiswentonforabouttwohours,goingbackandforthoverlotsofideas,backandforth,arguing.ThegreatNielskeptlightinghispipe;italwayswentout.Andhetalkedinawaythatwasun-understandable--mumble,mumble,hardtounderstand.HissonIcouldunderstandbetter."Well,"hesaidfinally,lightinghispipe,"Iguesswecancallinthebigshotsnow."Sothentheycalledalltheotherguysandhadadiscussionwiththem.Thenthesontoldmewhathappened.Thelasttimehewasthere,Bohrsaidtohisson,"Rememberthenameofthatlittlefellowinthebackoverthere?He'stheonlyguywho'snotafraidofme,andwillsaywhenI'vegotacrazyidea.Sonexttimewhenwewanttodiscussideas,we'renotgoingtobeabletodoitwiththeseguyswhosayeverythingisyes,yes,Dr.Bohr.Getthatguyandwe'lltalkwithhimfirst."Iwasalwaysdumbinthatway.IneverknewwhoIwastalkingto.Iwasalwaysworriedaboutthephysics.Iftheidealookedlousy,Isaiditlookedlousy.Ifitlookedgood,Isaiditlookedgood.Simpleproposition.I'vealwayslivedthatway.It'snice,it'spleasant--ifyoucandoit.I'mluckyinmylifethatIcandothis.Afterwe'dmadethecalculations,thenextthingthathappened,ofcourse,wasthetest.Iwasactuallyathomeonashortvacationatthattime,aftermywifedied,andsoIgotamessagethatsaid,"Thebabyisexpectedonsuchandsuchaday."Iflewback,andIarrivedjustwhenthebuseswereleaving,soIwentstraightouttothesiteandwewaitedoutthere,twentymilesaway.Wehadaradio,andtheyweresupposedtotelluswhenthethingwasgoingtogooffandsoforth,buttheradiowouldn'twork,soweneverknewwhatwashappening.Butjustafewminutesbeforeitwassupposedtogoofftheradiostartedtowork,andtheytoldustherewastwentysecondsorsomethingtogo,forpeoplewhowerefarawaylikewewere.Otherswerecloser,sixmilesaway.Theygaveoutdarkglassesthatyoucouldwatchitwith.Darkglasses!Twentymilesaway,youcouldn'tseeadamnthingthroughdarkglasses.SoIfiguredtheonlythingthatcouldreallyhurtyoureyes(brightlightcanneverhurtyoureyes)isultravioletlight.Igotbehindatruckwindshield,becausetheultravioletcan'tgothroughglass,sothatwouldbesafe,andsoIcouldseethedamnthing.Timecomes,andthistremendousflashoutthereissobrightthatIduck,andIseethispurplesplotchonthefloorofthetruck.Isaid,"That'snot

it.That'sanafter-image."SoIlookbackup,andIseethiswhitelightchangingintoyellowandthenintoorange.Cloudsformanddisappearagain--fromthecompressionandexpansionoftheshockwave.Finally,abigballoforange,thecenterthatwassobright,becomesaballoforangethatstartstoriseandbillowalittlebitandgetalittleblackaroundtheedges,andthenyouseeit'sabigballofsmokewithflashesontheinside,withtheheatofthefiregoingoutwards.Allthistookaboutoneminute.Itwasaseriesfrombrighttodark,andIhadseenit.Iamabouttheonlyguywhoactuallylookedatthedamnthing--thefirstTrinitytest.Everybodyelsehaddarkglasses,andthepeopleatsixmilescouldn'tseeitbecausetheywerealltoldtolieonthefloor.I'mprobablytheonlyguywhosawitwiththehumaneye.Finally,afteraboutaminuteandahalf,there'ssuddenlyatremendousnoise--BANG,andthenarumble,likethunder--andthat'swhatconvincedme.Nobodyhadsaidawordduringthiswholething.Wewerealljustwatchingquietly.Butthissoundreleasedeverybody--releasedmeparticularlybecausethesolidityofthesoundatthatdistancemeantthatithadreallyworked.Themanstandingnexttomesaid,"What'sthat?"Isaid,"ThatwastheBomb."ThemanwasWilliamLaurence.Hewastheretowriteanarticledescribingthewholesituation.Ihadbeentheonewhowassupposedtohavetakenhimaround.Thenitwasfoundthatitwastootechnicalforhim,andsolaterH.D.SmythcameandIshowedhimaround.Onethingwedid,wewentintoaroomandthereontheendofanarrowpedestalwasasmallsilver-platedball.Youcouldputyourhandonit.Itwaswarm.Itwasradioactive.Itwasplutonium.Andwestoodatthedoorofthisroom,talkingaboutit.Thiswasanewelementthatwasmadebyman,thathadneverexistedontheearthbefore,exceptforaveryshortperiodpossiblyattheverybeginning.Andhereitwasallisolatedandradioactiveandhadtheseproperties.Andwehadmadeit.Andsoitwastremendouslyvaluable.Meanwhile,youknowhowpeopledowhentheytalk--youkindofjigglearoundandsoforth.Hewaskickingthedoorstop,yousee,andIsaid,"Yes,thedoorstopcertainlyisappropriateforthisdoor."Thedoorstopwasaten-inchhemisphereofyellowishmetal--gold,asamatteroffact.Whathadhappenedwasthatweneededtodoanexperimenttoseehowmanyneutronswerereflectedbydifferentmaterials,inordertosavetheneutronssowedidn'tusesomuchmaterial.Wehadtestedmanydifferentmaterials.Wehadtestedplatinum,wehadtestedzinc,wehadtestedbrass,

wehadtestedgold.So,inmakingthetestswiththegold,wehadthesepiecesofgoldandsomebodyhadthecleverideaofusingthatgreatballofgoldforadoorstopforthedooroftheroomthatcontainedtheplutonium.

Afterthethingwentoff,therewastremendousexcitementatLosAlamos.Everybodyhadparties,weallranaround.Isatontheendofajeepandbeatdrumsandsoon.Butoneman,Iremember,BobWilson,wasjustsittingtheremoping.Isaid,"Whatareyoumopingabout?"Hesaid,"It'saterriblethingthatwemade."Isaid,"Butyoustartedit.Yougotusintoit."Yousee,whathappenedtome-whathappenedtotherestofus--iswestartedforagoodreason,thenyou'reworkingveryhardtoaccomplishsomethingandit'sapleasure,it'sexcitement.Andyoustopthinking,youknow;youjuststop.BobWilsonwastheonlyonewhowasstillthinkingaboutit,atthatmoment.IreturnedtocivilizationshortlyafterthatandwenttoCornelltoteach,andmyfirstimpressionwasaverystrangeone.Ican'tunderstanditanymore,butIfeltverystronglythen.IsatinarestaurantinNewYork,forexample,andIlookedoutatthebuildingsandIbegantothink,youknow,abouthowmuchtheradiusoftheHiroshimabombdamagewasandsoforth...Howfarfromherewas34thStreet?...Allthosebuildings,allsmashed--andsoon.AndIwouldgoalongandIwouldseepeoplebuildingabridge,orthey'dbemakinganewroad,andIthought,they'recrazy,theyjustdon'tunderstand,theydon'tunderstand.Whyaretheymakingnewthings?It'ssouseless.But,fortunately,it'sbeenuselessforalmostfortyyearsnow,hasn'tit?SoI'vebeenwrongaboutitbeinguselessmakingbridgesandI'mgladthoseotherpeoplehadthesensetogoahead.

SafecrackerMeetsSafecrackerIlearnedtopicklocksfromaguynamedLeoLavatelli.Itturnsoutthatpickingordinarytumblerlocks--likeYalelocks--iseasy.Youtrytoturnthelockbyputtingascrewdriverinthehole(youhavetopushfromthesideinordertoleavetheholeopen).Itdoesn'tturnbecausetherearesome

pinsinsidewhichhavetobeliftedtojusttherightheight(bythekey).Becauseitisnotmadeperfectly,thelockisheldmorebyonepinthantheothers.Now,ifyoupushalittlewiregadget--maybeapaperclipwithaslightbumpattheend--andjiggleitbackandforthinsidethelock,you'lleventuallypushthatonepinthat'sdoingthemostholding,uptotherightheight.Thelockgives,justalittlebit,sothefirstpinstaysup--it'scaughtontheedge.Nowmostoftheloadisheldbyanotherpin,andyourepeatthesamerandomprocessforafewmoreminutes,untilallthepinsarepushedup.Whatoftenhappensisthatthescrewdriverwillslipandyouheartic-tic-tic,anditmakesyoumad.Therearelittlespringsthatpushthepinsbackdownwhenakeyisremoved,andyoucanhearthemclickwhenyouletgoofthescrewdriver.(Sometimesyouintentionallyletgoofthescrewdrivertoseeifyou'regettinganywhere--youmightbepushingthewrongway,forinstance.)TheprocessissomethinglikeSisyphus:you'realwaysfallingbackdownhill.It'sasimpleprocess,butpracticehelpsalot.Youlearnhowhardtopushonthings--hardenoughsothepinswillstayup,butnotsohardthattheywon'tgoupinthefirstplace.Whatisnotreallyappreciatedbymostpeopleisthatthey'reperpetuallylockingthemselvesinwithlockseverywhere,andit'snotveryhardtopickthem.WhenwestartedtoworkontheatomicbombprojectatLosAlamos,everythingwasinsuchahurrythatitwasn'treallyready.Allthesecretsoftheproject--everythingabouttheatomicbomb--werekeptinfilingcabinetswhich,iftheyhadlocksatall,werelockedwithpadlockswhichhadmaybeonlythreepins:theywereaseasyaspietoopen.Toimprovesecuritytheshopoutfittedeveryfilingcabinetwithalongrodthatwentdownthroughthehandlesofthedrawersandthatwasfastenedbyapadlock.Someguysaidtome,"Lookatthisnewthingtheshopputon--canyouopenthecabinetnow?"Ilookedatthebackofthecabinetandsawthatthedrawersdidn'thaveasolidbottom.Therewasaslotwithawirerodineachonethatheldaslidablepiece(whichholdsthepapersupinsidethedrawer).Ipokedinfromtheback,slidthepieceback,andbeganpullingthepapersoutthroughtheslot."Look!"Isaid."Idon'tevenhavetopickthelock."LosAlamoswasaverycooperativeplace,andwefeltitourresponsibilitytopointoutthingsthatshouldbeimproved.I'dkeepcomplainingthat

thestuffwasunsafe,andalthougheverybodythoughtitwassafebecausethereweresteelrodsandpadlocks,itdidn'tmeanadamnthing.Todemonstratethatthelocksmeantnothing,wheneverIwantedsomebody'sreportandtheyweren'taround,I'djustgointheiroffice,openthefilingcabinet,andtakeitout.WhenIwasfinishedIwouldgiveitbacktotheguy:"Thanksforyourreport.""Where'dyougetit?""Outofyourfilingcabinet.""ButIlockedit!""Iknowyoulockedit.Thelocksarenogood."FinallysomefilingcabinetscamewhichhadcombinationlocksonthemmadebytheMoslerSafeCompany.Theyhadthreedrawers.Pullingthetopdraweroutwouldreleasetheotherdrawersbyacatch.Thetopdrawerwasopenedbyturningacombinationwheeltotheleft,right,andleftforthecombination,andthenrighttonumberten,whichwoulddrawbackaboltinside.Thewholefilingcabinetcouldhelockedbyclosingthebottomdrawersfirst,thenthetopdrawer,andspinningthecombinationwheelawayfromnumberten,whichpushedupthebolt.Thesenewfilingcabinetswereanimmediatechallenge,naturally.Ilovepuzzles.Oneguytriestomakesomethingtokeepanotherguyout;theremustbeawaytobeatit!Ihadfirsttounderstandhowthelockworked,soItookaparttheoneinmyoffice.Thewayitworkedisthis:Therearethreediscsonasingleshaft,onebehindtheother;eachhasanotchinadifferentplace.Theideaistolineupthenotchessothatwhenyouturnthewheeltoten,thelittlefrictiondrivewilldrawtheboltdownintotheslotgeneratedbythenotchesofthethreediscs.Now,toturnthediscs,there'sapinstickingoutfromthebackofthecombinationwheel,andapinstickingupfromthefirstdiscatthesameradius.Withinoneturnofthecombinationwheel,you'vepickedupthefirstdisc.Onthebackofthefirstdiscthere'sapinatthesameradiusasapinonthefrontoftheseconddisc,sobythetimeyou'vespunthecombinationwheelaroundtwice,you'vepickeduptheseconddiscaswell.Keepturningthewheel,andapinonthebackoftheseconddiscwillcatchapinonthefrontofthethirddisc,whichyounowsetintotheproperpositionwiththefirstnumberofthecombination.

Nowyouhavetoturnthecombinationwheeltheotherwayonefullturntocatchtheseconddiscfromtheotherside,andthencontinuetothesecondnumberofthecombinationtosettheseconddisc.Againyoureversedirectionandsetthefirstdisctoitsproperplace.Nowthenotchesarelinedup,andbyturningthewheeltoten,youopenthecabinet.Well,Istruggled,andIcouldn'tgetanywhere.Iboughtacoupleofsafecrackerbooks,buttheywereallthesame.Inthebeginningofthebooktherearesomestoriesofthefantasticachievementsofthesafecracker,suchasthewomancaughtinameatrefrigeratorwhoisfreezingtodeath,butthesafecracker,hangingupsidedown,opensitintwominutes.Ortherearesomepreciousfursorgoldbullionunderwater,downinthesea,andthesafecrackerdivesdownandopensthechest.

Inthesecondpartofthebook,theytellyouhowtocrackasafe.Thereareallkindsofninny-pinny,dopeythings,like"Itmightbeagoodideatotryadateforthecombination,becauselotsofpeopleliketousedates."Or"Thinkofthepsychologyoftheownerofthesafe,andwhathemightuseforthecombination."And"Thesecretaryisoftenworriedthatshemightforgetthecombinationofthesafe,soshemightwriteitdowninoneofthefollowingplaces--alongtheedgeofherdeskdrawer,onalistofnamesandaddresses...andsoon.Theydidtellmesomethingsensibleabouthowtoopenordinarysafes,andit'seasytounderstand.Ordinarysafeshaveanextrahandle,soifyoupushdownonthehandlewhileyou'returningthecombinationwheel,thingsbeingunequal(aswithlocks),theforceofthehandletryingtopushtheboltdownintothenotches(whicharenotlinedup)isheldupmorebyonediscthananother.Whenthenotchonthatdisccomesunderthebolt,there'satinyclickthatyoucanhearwithastethoscope,oraslightdecreaseinfrictionthatyoucanfeel(youdon'thavetosandpaperyourfingertips),andyouknow,"There'sanumber!"Youdon'tknowwhetherit'sthefirst,second,orthirdnumber,butyoucangetaprettygoodideaofthatbyfindingouthowmanytimesyouhavetoturnthewheeltheotherwaytohearthesameclickagain.Ifit'salittlelessthanonce,it'sthefirstdisc;ifit'salittlelessthantwice,it'stheseconddisc(youhavetomakeacorrectionforthethicknessofthepins).Thisusefultrickonlyworksonordinarysafes,whichhavetheextrahandle,soIwasstymied.

Itriedallkindsofsubsidiarytrickswiththecabinets,suchasfindingouthowtoreleasethelatchesonthelowerdrawers,withoutopeningthetopdrawer,bytakingoffascrewinfrontandpokingaroundwithapieceofhangerwire.Itriedspinningthecombinationwheelveryrapidlyandthengoingtoten,thusputtingalittlefrictionon,whichIhopedwouldstopadiscattherightpointinsomemanner.Itriedallkindsofthings.Iwasdesperate.Ialsodidacertainamountofsystematicstudy.Forinstance,atypicalcombinationwas69-32-21.Howfaroffcouldanumberbewhenyou'reopeningthesafe?Ifthenumberwas69,would68work?Would67work?Ontheparticularlockswehad,theanswerwasyesforboth,but66wouldn'twork.Youcouldheoffbytwoineitherdirection.Thatmeantyouonlyhadtotryoneoutoffivenumbers,soyoucouldtryzero,five,ten,fifteen,andsoon.Withtwentysuchnumbersonawheelof100,thatwas8000possibilitiesinsteadofthe1,000,000youwouldgetifyouhadtotryeverysinglenumber.Nowthequestionwas,howlongwouldittakemetotrythe8000combinations?SupposeI'vegotthefirsttwonumbersrightofacombinationI'mtryingtoget.Saythenumbersare69-32,butIdon'tknowit--I'vegotthemas70-30.NowIcantrythetwentypossiblethirdnumberswithouthavingtosetupthefirsttwonumberseachtime.Nowlet'ssupposeIhaveonlythefirstnumberofthecombinationright.Aftertryingthetwentynumbersonthethirddisc,Imovethesecondwheelonlyalittlebit,andthendoanothertwentynumbersonthethirdwheel.IpracticedallthetimeonmyownsafesoIcoulddothisprocessasfastasIcouldandnotgetlostinmymindastowhichnumberIwaspushingandmessupthefirstnumber.Likeaguywhopracticessleightofhand,IgotitdowntoanabsoluterhythmsoIcouldtrythe400possiblebacknumbersinlessthanhalfanhour.ThatmeantIcouldopenasafeinamaximumofeighthours--withanaveragetimeoffourhours.TherewasanotherguythereatLosAlamosnamedStaleywhowasalsointerestedinlocks.Wetalkedaboutitfromtimetotime,butweweren'tgettinganywheremuch.AfterIgotthisideahowtoopenasafeinanaveragetimeoffourhours,IwantedtoshowStaleyhowtodoit,soIwentintoaguy'sofficeoverinthecomputingdepartmentandasked,"DoyoumindifIuseyoursafe?I'dliketoshowStaleysomething."Meanwhilesomeguysinthecomputingdepartmentcamearoundandoneofthemsaid,"Hey,everybody;Feynman'sgonnashowStaleyhowtoopenasafe,ha,ha,ha!"Iwasn'tgoingtoactuallyopenthesafe;IwasjustgoingtoshowStaleythiswayofquicklytryingthebacktwonumberswithoutlosingyourplaceandhavingtosetupthefirstnumberagain.

Ibegan."Let'ssupposethatthefirstnumberisforty,andwe'retryingfifteenforthesecondnumber.Wegobackandforth,ten;backfivemoreandforth,ten;andsoon.Nowwe'vetriedallthepossiblethirdnumbers.Nowwetrytwentyforthesecondnumber:wegobackandforth,ten;backfivemoreandforth,ten;backfivemoreandforth,CLICK!"Myjawdropped:thefirstandsecondnumbershappenedtoberight!Nobodysawmyexpressionbecausemybackwastowardsthem.Staleylookedverysurprised,butbothofuscaughtonVeryquicklyastowhathappened,soIpulledthetopdraweroutwithaflourishandsaid,"Andthereyouare!"Staleysaid,"Iseewhatyoumean;it'saverygoodscheme"--andwewalkedout.Everybodywasamazed.Itwascompleteluck.NowIreallyhadareputationforopeningsafes.Ittookmeaboutayearandahalftogetthatfar(ofcourse,Iwasworkingonthebomb,too!)butIfiguredthatIhadthesafesbeaten,inthesensethatiftherewasarealdifficulty--ifsomebodywaslost,ordead,andnobodyelseknewthecombinationbutthestuffinthefilingcabinetwasneeded--Icouldopenit.Afterreadingwhatpreposterousthingsthesafecrackersclaimed,Ithoughtthatwasaratherrespectableaccomplishment.WehadnoentertainmentthereatLosAlamos,andwehadtoamuseourselvessomehow,sofiddlingwiththeMoslerlockonmyfilingcabinetwasoneofmyentertainments.OnedayImadeaninterestingobservation:Whenthelockisopenedandthedrawerhasbeenpulledoutandthewheelisleftonten(whichiswhatpeopledowhenthey'veopenedtheirfilingcabinetandaretakingpapersoutofit),theboltisstilldown.Nowwhatdoesthatmean,theboltisstilldown?Itmeanstheboltisintheslotmadebythethreediscs,whicharestillproperlylinedup.Ahhhh!Now,ifIturnthewheelawayfromtenalittlebit,theboltcomesup;ifIimmediatelygobacktoten,theboltgoesbackdownagain,becauseIhaven'tyetdisturbedtheslot.IfIkeepgoingawayfromteninstepsoffive,atsomepointtheboltwon'tgobackdownwhenIgobacktoten:theslothasjustbeendisturbed.Thenumberjustbefore,whichstilllettheboltgodown,isthelastnumberofthecombination!IrealizedthatIcoulddothesamethingtofindthesecondnumber:AssoonasIknowthelastnumber,Icanturnthewheelaroundtheotherwayandagain,inlumpsoffive,pushtheseconddiscbitbybituntiltheboltdoesn'tgodown.Thenumberjustbeforewouldbethesecondnumber.IfIwereverypatientIwouldheabletopickupallthreenumbersthatway,huttheamountofworkinvolvedinpickingupthefirstnumberofthecombinationbythiselaborateschemewouldbemuchmorethanjusttryingthetwentypossiblefirstnumberswiththeothertwonumbersthatyoualreadyknow,whenthefilingcabinetisclosed.

IpracticedandIpracticeduntilIcouldgetthelasttwonumbersoffanopenfilingcabinet,hardlylookingatthedial.Then,whenI'dbeinsomeguy'sofficediscussingsomephysicsproblem,I'dleanagainsthisopenedfilingcabinet,andjustlikeaguywho'sjigglingkeysabsent-mindedlywhilehe'stalking,I'djustwobblethedialbackandforth,backandforth.SometimesI'dputmyfingerontheboltsoIwouldn'thavetolooktoseeifit'scomingup.InthiswayIpickedoffthelasttwonumbersofvariousfilingcabinets.WhenIgotbacktomyofficeIwouldwritethetwonumbersdownonapieceofpaperthatIkeptinsidethelockofmyfilingcabinet.Itookthelockaparteachtimetogetthepaper--Ithoughtthatwasaverysafeplaceforthem.Afterawhilemyreputationbegantosail,becausethingslikethiswouldhappen:Somebodywouldsay,"Hey,Feynman!Christy'soutoftownandweneedadocumentfromhissafe--canyouopenit?"IfitwasasafeIknewIdidn'thavethelasttwonumbersof,Iwouldsimplysay,"I'msorry,butIcan'tdoitnow;I'vegotthisworkthatIhavetodo."Otherwise,Iwouldsay,"Yeah,hutIgottagetmytools."Ididn'tneedanytools,butI'dgobacktomyoffice,openmyfilingcabinet,andlookatmylittlepieceofpaper:"Christy--35,60."ThenI'dgetascrewdriverandgoovertoChristy'sofficeandclosethedoorbehindme.Obviouslynoteverybodyissupposedtobeallowedtoknowhowtodothis!I'dheintherealoneandI'dopenthesafeinafewminutes.AllIhadtodowastrythefirstnumberatmosttwentytimes,thensitaround,readingamagazineorsomething,forfifteenortwentyminutes.Therewasnousetryingtomakeitlooktooeasy;somebodywouldfigureouttherewasatricktoit!AfterawhileI'dopenthedoorandsay,"It'sopen."PeoplethoughtIwasopeningthesafesfromscratch.NowIcouldmaintaintheidea,whichbeganwiththataccidentwithStaley,thatIcouldopensafescold.NobodyfiguredoutthatIwaspickingthelasttwonumbersofftheirsafes,eventhough--perhapsbecause--Iwasdoingitallthetime,likeacardsharpwalkingaroundallthetimewithadeckofcards,IoftenwenttoOakRidgetocheckuponthesafetyoftheuraniumplant.Everythingwasalwaysinahurrybecauseitwaswartime,andonetimeIhadtogothereOflaweekend.ItwasSunday,andwewereinthisfella'soffice--ageneral,aheadoravicepresidentofsomecompany,acoupleofotherbigmuck-a-mucks,andme.Weweregatheredtogethertodiscussareportthatwasinthefella'ssafe--asecretsafe--.whensuddenlyherealizedthathedidn'tknowthecombination.Hissecretarywastheonlyonewhoknewit,sohecalledherhomeanditturnedoutshehadgoneonapicnicup

inthehills.Whileallthiswasgoingon,Iasked,"DoyoumindifIfiddlewiththesafe?""Ha,ha,ha--notatall!"SoIwentovertothesafeandstartedtofoolaround.Theybegantodiscusshowtheycouldgetacartotrytofindthesecretary,andtheguywasgettingmoreandmoreembarrassedbecausehehadallthesepeoplewaitingandhewassuchajackasshedidn'tknowhowtoopenhisownsafe.Everybodywasalltenseandgettingmadathim,whenCLICK!--thesafeopened.In10minutesIhadopenedthesafethatcontainedallthesecretdocumentsabouttheplant.Theywereastonished.Thesafeswereapparentlynotverysafe.Itwasaterribleshock:Allthis"eyesonly"stuff,topsecret,lockedinthiswonderfulsecretsafe,andthisguyopensitintenminutes!OfcourseIwasabletoopenthesafebecauseofmyperpetualhabitoftakingthelasttwonumbersoff.WhileinOakRidgethemonthbefore,IwasinthesameofficewhenthesafewasopenandItookthenumbersoffinanabsentmindedway--Iwasalwayspracticingmyobsession.AlthoughIhadn'twrittenthemdown,Iwasabletovaguelyrememberwhattheywere.FirstItried40-15,then15-40,butneitherofthoseworked.ThenItried10-45withallthefirstnumbers,anditopened.AsimilarthinghappenedonanotherweekendwhenIwasvisitingOakRidge.IhadwrittenareportthathadtobeOKedbyacolonel,anditwasinhissafe.EverybodyelsekeepsdocumentsinfilingcabinetsliketheonesatLosAlamos,buthewasacolonel,sohehadamuchfancier,two-doorsafewithbighandlesthatpullfour�-inch-thicksteelboltsfromtheframe.Thegreatbrassdoorsswungopenandhetookoutmyreporttoread.Nothavinghadanopportunitytoseeanyreallygoodsafes,Isaidtohim,"Wouldyoumind,whileyou'rereadingmyreport,ifIlookedatyoursafe?""Gorightahead,"hesaid,convincedthattherewasnothingIcoulddo.Ilookedatthebackofoneofthesolidbrassdoors,andIdiscoveredthatthecombinationwheelwasconnectedtoalittlelockthatlookedexactlythesameasthelittleunitthatwasonmyfilingcabinetatLosAlamos.Samecompany,samelittlebolt,exceptthatwhentheboltcamedown,thebighandlesonthesafecouldthenmovesomerodssideways,andwithahunchofleversyoucouldpullbackallthose�-inchsteelrods.Thewholeleversystem,itappeared,dependsonthesamelittleboltthatlocksfilingcabinets.

Justforthesakeofprofessionalperfection,tomakesureitwasthesame,ItookthetwonumbersoffthesamewayIdidwiththefilingcabinetsafes.Meanwhile,hewasreadingthereport.Whenhe'dfinishedhesaid,"Allright,it'sfine."Heputthereportinthesafe,grabbedthebighandles,andswungthegreatbrassdoorstogether.Itsoundssogoodwhentheyclose,butIknowit'sallpsychological,becauseit'snothingbutthesamedamnlock.Icouldn'thelpbutneedlehimalittlebit(Ialwayshadathingaboutmilitaryguys,insuchwonderfuluniforms)soIsaid,"Thewayyouclosethatsafe,Igettheideathatyouthinkthingsaresafeinthere.""Ofcourse.""Theonlyreasonyouthinkthey'resafeinthereisbecausecivilianscallita'safe.'"(Iputtheword"civilians"intheretomakeitsoundasifhe'dbeenhadbycivilians.)Hegotveryangry."Whatdoyoumean--it'snotsafe?""Agoodsafecrackercouldopenitinthirtyminutes.""Canyouopenitinthirtyminutes?"

"Isaidagoodsafecracker.Itwouldtakemeaboutforty-five.""Well!"hesaid."Mywifeiswaitingathomeformewithsupper,butI'mgonnastayhereandwatchyou,andyou'regonnasitdownthereandworkonthatdamnthingforforty-fiveminutesandnotopenit!"Hesatdowninhisbigleatherchair,puthisfeetuponhisdesk,andread.WithcompleteconfidenceIpickedupachair,carrieditovertothesafeandsatdowninfrontofit.Ibegantoturnthewheelatrandom,justtomakesomeaction.Afteraboutfiveminutes,whichisquitealongtimewhenyou'rejustsittingandwaiting,helostsomepatience:"Well,areyoumakinganyprogress?""Withathinglikethis,youeitheropenitoryoudon't."

Ifiguredoneortwomoreminuteswouldbeabouttime,soIbegantoworkinearnestandtwominuteslater,CLINK--itopened.Thecolonel'sjawdroppedandhiseyesbuggedout."Colonel,"Isaid,inaserioustone,"letmetellyousomethingabouttheselocks:Whenthedoortothesafeorthetopdrawerofthefilingcabinetisleftopen,it'sveryeasyforsomeonetogetthecombination.That'swhatIdidwhileyouwerereadingmyreport,justtodemonstratethedanger.Youshouldinsistthateverybodykeeptheirfilingcabinetdrawerslockedwhilethey'reworking,becausewhenthey'reopen,they'revery,veryvulnerable.""Yeah!Iseewhatyoumean!That'sveryinteresting!"Wewereonthesamesideafterthat.ThenexttimeIwenttoOakRidge,allthesecretariesandpeoplewhoknewwhoIwasweretellingme,"Don'tcomethroughhere!Don'tcomethroughhere!"Thecolonelhadsentanotearoundtoeveryoneintheplantwhichsaid,"Duringhislastvisit,wasMr.Feynmanatanytimeinyouroffice,nearyouroffice,orwalkingthroughyouroffice?"Somepeopleansweredyes;otherssaidno.Theoneswhosaidyesgotanothernote:"Pleasechangethecombinationofyoursafe."Thatwashissolution:Iwasthedanger.Sotheyallhadtochangetheircombinationsonaccountofme.It'sapaininthenecktochangeacombinationandrememberthenewone,sotheywereallmadatmeanddidn'twantmetocomenearthem:theymighthavetochangetheircombinationonceagain.Ofcourse,theirfilingcabinetswerestillleftopenwhiletheywereworking!AlibraryatLosAlamosheldallofthedocumentswehadeverworkedon:Itwasasolid,concreteroomwithabig,beautifuldoorwhichhadametalwheelthatturns--likeasafe-depositvault.DuringthewarIhadtriedtolookatitclosely.Iknewthegirlwhowasthelibrarian,andIbeggedhertoletmeplaywithitalittlebit.Iwasfascinatedbyit:itwasthebiggestlockIeversaw!IdiscoveredthatIcouldneverusemymethodofpickingoffthelasttwonumberstogetin.Infact,whileturningtheknobwhilethedoorwasopen,Imadethelockclose,soitwasstickingout,andtheycouldn'tclosethedooragainuntilthegirlcameandopenedthelockagain.Thatwastheendofmyfiddlingaroundwiththatlock.Ididn'thavetimetofigureouthowitworked;itwasmuchbeyondmycapacity.DuringthesummerafterthewarIhadsomedocumentstowriteandworktofinishup,soIwentbacktoLosAlamosfromCornell,whereIhad

taughtduringtheyear.InthemiddleofmyworkIhadtorefertoadocumentthatIhadwrittenbeforebutcouldn'tremember,anditwasdowninthelibrary.Iwentdowntogetthedocument,andtherewasasoldierwalkingbackandforth,withagun.ItwasaSaturday,andafterthewarthelibrarywasclosedonSaturdays.ThenIrememberedwhatagoodfriendofmine,FredericdeHoffman,haddone.HewasintheDeclassificationSection.Afterthewarthearmywasthinkingofdeclassifyingsomedocuments,andhehadtogobackandforthtothelibrarysomuch--lookatthisdocument,lookatthatdocument,checkthis,checkthat--thathewasgoingnuts!Sohehadacopyofeverydocument--allthesecretstotheatomicbomb--inninefilingcabinetsinhisoffice.Iwentdowntohisoffice,andthelightswereon.Itlookedasifwhoeverwasthere-perhapshissecretary--hadjuststeppedoutforafewminutes,soIwaited.While1waswaitingIstartedtofiddlearoundwiththecombinationwheelononeofthefilingcabinets.(Bytheway,Ididn'thavethelasttwonumbersfordeHoffman'ssafes;theywereputinafterthewar,afterIhadleft.)Istartedtoplaywithoneofthecombinationwheelsandbegantothinkaboutthesafecrackerbooks.Ithoughttomyself,"I'veneverbeenmuchimpressedbythetricksdescribedinthosebooks,soI'venevertriedthem,butlet'sseeifwecanopendeHoffman'ssafebyfollowingthebook."Firsttrick,thesecretary:she'safraidshe'sgoingtoforgetthecombination,soshewritesitdownsomewhere.Istartedtolookinsomeoftheplacesmentionedinthebook.Thedeskdrawerwaslocked,butitwasanordinarylocklikeLeoLavatellitaughtmehowtoopen--ping!Ilookalongtheedge:nothing.ThenIlookedthroughthesecretary'spapers.Ifoundasheetofpaperthatallthesecretarieshad,withtheGreekletterscarefullymade--sotheycouldrecognizetheminmathematicalformulas--andnamed.Andthere,carelesslywrittenalongthetopofthepaper,waspi=3.14159.Now,that'ssixdigits,andwhydoesasecretaryhavetoknowthenumericalvalueofpi?Itwasobvious;therewasnootherreason!Iwentovertothefilingcabinetsandtriedthefirstone:31-41-59.Itdidn'topen.ThenItried59-41-31.Thatdidn'tworkeither.Then95-14-13.Backwards,forwards,upsidedown,turnitthisway,turnitthat--nothing!Iclosedthedeskdrawerandstartedtowalkoutthedoor,whenIthoughtofthesafecrackerbooksagain:Next,trythepsychologymethod.Isaid

tomyself,"FreddydeHoffmanisjustthekindofguytouseamathematicalconstantforasafecombination."Iwentbacktothefirstfilingcabinetandtried27-18-28--CLICK!Itopened!(Themathematicalconstantsecondinimportancetopiisthebaseofnaturallogarithms,e:2.71828...)Therewereninefilingcabinets,andIhadopenedthefirstone,butthedocumentIwantedwasinanotherone-theywereinalphabeticalorderbyauthor.Itriedthesecondfilingcabinet:27-18-28----CLICK!Itopenedwiththesamecombination.Ithought,

"Thisiswonderful!I'veopenedthesecretstotheatomicbomb,butifI'mevergoingtotellthisstory,I'vegottomakesurethatallthecombinationsarereallythesame!"Someofthefilingcabinetswereinthenextroom,soItried27-18-28ononeofthem,anditopened.NowI'dopenedthreesafes--allthesame.Ithoughttomyself,"NowIcouldwriteasafecrackerbookthatwouldbeateveryone,becauseatthebeginningIwouldtellhowIopenedsafeswhosecontentswerebiggerandmorevaluablethanwhatanysafecrackeranywherehadopened--exceptforalife,ofcourse--butcomparedtothefursorthegoldbullion,Ihavethemallbeat:Iopenedthesafeswhichcontainedallthesecretstotheatomicbomb:theschedulesfortheproductionoftheplutonium,thepurificationprocedures,howmuchmaterialisneeded,howthebombworks,howtheneutronsaregenerated,whatthedesignis,thedimensions--theentireinformationthatwasknownatLosAlamos:thewholeshmeer!"IwentbacktothesecondfilingcabinetandtookoutthedocumentIwanted.ThenItookaredgreasepencilandapieceofyellowpaperthatwaslyingaroundintheofficeandwrote,"Iborroweddocumentno.LA4312--Feynmanthesafecracker."Iputthenoteontopofthepapersinthefilingcabinetandclosedit.ThenIwenttothefirstoneIhadopenedandwroteanothernote:"Thisonewasnohardertoopenthantheotherone-WiseGuy"andshutthecabinet.Thenintheothercabinet,intheotherroom,Iwrote,"Whenthecombinationsareallthesame,oneisnohardertoopenthananother--SameGuy"andIshutthatone.Iwentbacktomyofficeandwrotemyreport.ThateveningIwenttothecafeteriaandatesupper.TherewasFreddydeHoffman.Hesaidhewasgoingovertohisofficetowork,sojustforfunIwentwithhim.

Hestartedtowork,andsoonhewentintotheotherroomtoopenoneofthefilingcabinetsinthere-somethingIhadn'tcountedon--andhehappenedtoopenthefilingcabinetIhadputthethirdnotein,first.Heopenedthedrawer,andhesawthisforeignobjectinthere--thisbrightyellowpaperwithsomethingscrawledonitinbrightredcrayon.Ihadreadinbooksthatwhensomebodyisafraid,hisfacegetssallow,butIhadneverseenitbefore.Well,it'sabsolutelytrue.Hisfaceturnedagray,yellowgreen--itwasreallyfrighteningtosee.Hepickedupthepaper,andhishandwasshaking."L-l-lookatthis!"hesaid,trembling.Thenotesaid,"Whenthecombinationsareallthesame,oneisnohardertoopenthananother--SameGuy.""Whatdoesitmean?"Isaid."Allthec-c-combinationsofmysafesarethes-s-same!"hestammered."Thatain'tsuchagoodidea.""I-Iknowthatn-now!"hesaid,completelyshaken.Anothereffectoftheblooddrainingfromthefacemustbethatthebraindoesn'tworkright."Hesignedwhoitwas!Hesignedwhoitwas!"hesaid."What?"(Ihadn'tputmynameonthatone.)"Yes,"hesaid,"it'sthesameguywho'sbeentryingtogetintoBuildingOmega!"Allduringthewar,andevenafter,thereweretheseperpetualrumors:"Somebody'sbeentryingtogetintoBuildingOmega!"Yousee,duringthewartheyweredoingexperimentsforthebombinwhichtheywantedtogetenoughmaterialtogetherforthechainreactiontojustgetstarted.Theywoulddroponepieceofmaterialthroughanother,andwhenitwentthrough,thereactionwouldstartandthey'dmeasurehowmanyneutronstheygot.Thepiecewouldfallthroughsofastthatnothingshouldbuildupandexplode.Enoughofareactionwouldbegin,however,sotheycouldtellthatthingswerereallystartingcorrectly,thattherateswereright,andeverythingwasgoingaccordingtoprediction--averydangerousexperiment!Naturally,theywerenotdoingthisexperimentinthemiddleofLosAlamos,butoffseveralmiles,inacanyonseveralmesasover,allisolated.ThisBuildingOmegahaditsownfencearounditwithguardtowers.Inthemiddleofthenightwheneverything'squiet,somerabbitcomesoutofthebrushandsmashesagainstthefenceandmakesanoise.Theguardshoots.Thelieutenantinchargecomesaround.What'stheguardgoingtosay--that

itwasonlyarabbit?No."Somebody'sbeentryingtogetintoBuildingOmegaandIscaredhimoff!"SodeHoffmanwaspaleandshaking,andhedidn'trealizetherewasaflawinhislogic:itwasnotclearthatthesameguywho'dbeentryingtogetintoBuildingOmegawasthesameguywhowasstandingnexttohim.Heaskedmewhattodo."Well,seeifanydocumentsaremissing.""Itlooksallright,"hesaid."Idon'tseeanymissing."ItriedtosteerhimtothefilingcabinetItookmydocumentoutof."Well,uh,ifallthecombinationsarethesame,perhapshe'stakensomethingfromanotherdrawer.""Right!"hesaid,andhewentbackintohisofficeandopenedthefirstfilingcabinetandfoundthesecondnoteIwrote:"Thisonewasnoharderthantheotherone--WiseGuy."Bythattimeitdidn'tmakeanydifferencewhetheritwas"SameGuy"or"WiseGuy":ItwascompletelycleartohimthatitwastheguywhowastryingtogetintoBuildingOmega.Sotoconvincehimtoopenthefilingcabinetwithmyfirstnoteinitwasparticularlydifficult,andIdon'trememberhowItalkedhimintoit.Hestartedtoopenit,soIbegantowalkdownthehall,becauseIwasalittlebitafraidthatwhenhefoundoutwhodidittohim,Iwasgoingtogetmythroatcut!

Sureenough,hecamerunningdownthehallafterme,butinsteadofbeingangry,hepracticallyputhisarmsaroundmebecausehewassocompletelyrelievedthatthisterribleburdenoftheatomicsecretsbeingstolenwasonlymedoingmischief.AfewdayslaterdeHoffmantoldmethatheneededsomethingfromKerst'ssafe.DonaldKersthadgonebacktoIllinoisandwashardtoreach."Ifyoucanopenallmysafesusingthepsychologicalmethod,"deHoffmansaid(IhadtoldhimhowIdidit),"maybeyoucouldopenKerst'ssafethatway."Bynowthestoryhadgottenaround,soseveralpeoplecametowatchthisfantasticprocesswhereIwasgoingtoopenKerst'ssafe--cold.There

wasnoneedformetobealone.Ididn'thavethelasttwonumberstoKerst'ssafe,andtousethepsychologymethodIneededpeoplearoundwhoknewKerst.WeallwentovertoKerst'sofficeandIcheckedthedrawersforclues;therewasnothing.ThenIaskedthem,"WhatkindofacombinationwouldKerstuse--amathematicalconstant?""Oh,no!"deHoffmansaid."Kerstwoulddosomethingverysimple."Itried10-20-30,20-40-60,60-40-20,30-20-10.Nothing.ThenIsaid,"Doyouthinkhewoulduseadate?""Yeah!"theysaid."He'sjustthekindofguytouseadate."Wetriedvariousdates:8-6-45,whenthebombwentoff;86-19-45;thisdate;thatdate;whentheprojectstarted.Nothingworked.Bythistimemostofthepeoplehaddriftedoff.Theydidn'thavethepatiencetowatchmedothis,buttheonlywaytosolvesuchathingispatience!ThenIdecidedtotryeverythingfromaround1900untilnow.Thatsoundslikealot,butit'snot:thefirstnumberisamonth,onethroughtwelve,andIcantrythatusingonlythreenumbers:ten,five,andzero.Thesecondnumberisaday,fromonetothirty-one,whichIcantrywithsixnumbers.Thethirdnumberistheyear,whichwasonlyforty-sevennumbersatthattime,whichIcouldtrywithninenumbers.Sothe8000combinationshadbeenreducedto162,somethingIcouldtryinfifteenortwentyminutes.UnfortunatelyIstartedwiththehighendofthenumbersforthemonths,becausewhenIfinallyopenedit,thecombinationwas0-5-35.IturnedtodeHoffman."WhathappenedtoKerstaroundJanuary5,1935?""Hisdaughterwasbornin1936,"deHoffmansaid."Itmustbeherbirthday."NowIhadopenedtwosafescold.Iwasgettinggood.NowIwasprofessional.Thatsamesummerafterthewar,theguyfromthepropertysectionwastryingtotakebacksomeofthethingsthegovernmenthadbought,tosellagainassurplus.OneofthethingswasaCaptain'ssafe.Weallknewaboutthissafe.TheCaptain,whenhearrivedduringthewar,decidedthatthefilingcabinetsweren'tsafeenoughforthesecretshewasgoingtoget,sohehadtohaveaspecialsafe.

TheCaptain'sofficewasonthesecondfloorofoneoftheflimsywoodenbuildingsthatweallhadourofficesin,andthesafeheorderedwasaheavysteelsafe.Theworkmenhadtoputdownplatformsofwoodandusespecialjackstogetitupthesteps.Sincetherewasn'tmuchamusement,weallwatchedthisbigsafebeingmoveduptohisofficewithgreateffort,andweallmadejokesaboutwhatkindofsecretshewasgoingtokeepinthere.Somefellasaidweoughtaputourstuffinhissafe,andlethimputhisstuffinours.Soeveryoneknewaboutthissafe.Thepropertysectionmanwanteditforsurplus,butfirstithadtobeemptied,andtheonlypeoplewhoknewthecombinationweretheCaptain,whowasinBikini,andAlvarez,who'dforgottenit.Themanaskedmetoopenit.Iwentuptohisoldofficeandsaidtothesecretary,"Whydon'tyouphonetheCaptainandaskhimthecombination?""Idon'twanttobotherhim,"shesaid."Well,you'regonnabothermeformaybeeighthours.Iwon'tdoitunlessyoumakeanattempttocallhim.""OK,OK!"shesaid.ShepickedupthetelephoneandIwentintotheotherroomtolookatthesafe.Thereitwas,thathuge,steelsafe,anditsdoorswerewideopen.Iwentbacktothesecretary."It'sopen.""Marvelous!"shesaid,assheputdownthephone."No,"Isaid,"itwasalreadyopen.""Oh!Iguessthepropertysectionwasabletoopenitafterall."Iwentdowntothemaninthepropertysection."Iwentuptothesafeanditwasalreadyopen.""Oh,yeah,"hesaid;"I'msorryIdidn'ttellyou.Isentourregularlocksmithuptheretodrillit,butbeforehedrilledithetriedtoopenit,andheopenedit."So!Firstinformation:LosAlamosnowhasaregularlocksmith.Secondinformation:Thismanknowshowtodrillsafes,somethingIknownothingabout.Thirdinformation:Hecanopenasafecold--inafewminutes.Thisisarealprofessional,arealsourceofinformation.ThisguyIhavetomeet.

Ifoundouthewasalocksmiththeyhadhiredafterthewar(whentheyweren'tasconcernedaboutsecurity)totakecareofsuchthings.Itturnedoutthathedidn'thaveenoughworktodoopeningsafes,sohealsorepairedtheMarchantcalculatorswehadused.DuringthewarIrepairedthosethingsallthetime--soIhadawaytomeethim.NowIhaveneverbeensurreptitiousortrickyaboutmeetingsomebody;Ijustgorightupandintroducemyself.Butinthiscaseitwassoimportanttomeetthisman,andIknewthatbeforehewouldtellmeanyofhissecretsonhowtoopensafes,Iwouldhavetoprovemyself.Ifoundoutwherehisroomwas--inthebasementofthetheoreticalphysicssection,whereIworked--andIknewheworkedintheevening,whenthemachinesweren'tbeingused.So,atfirstIwouldwalkpasthisdooronmywaytomyofficeintheevening.That'sall;I'djustwalkpast.Afewnightslater,justa"Hi."Afterawhile,whenhesawitwasthesameguywalkingpast,he'dsay"Hi,"or"Goodevening."AfewweeksofthisslowprocessandIseehe'sworkingontheMarchantcalculators.Isaynothingaboutthem;itisn'ttimeyet.Wegraduallysayalittlemore:"Hi!Iseeyou'reworkingprettyhard!""Yeah,prettyhard"--thatkindofstuff.Finally,abreakthrough:heinvitesmeforsoup.It'sgoingverygoodnow.Everyeveningwehavesouptogether.NowIbegintotalkalittlebitabouttheaddingmachines,andhetellsmehehasaproblem.He'sbeentryingtoputasuccessionofspring-loadedwheelsbackontoashaft,andhedoesn'thavetherighttool,orsomething;he'sbeenworkingonitforaweek.ItellhimthatIusedtoworkonthosemachinesduringthewar,and"I'lltellyouwhat:youjustleavethemachineouttonight,andI'llhavealookatittomorrow.""OK,"hesays,becausehe'sdesperate.ThenextdayIlookedatthedamnthingandtriedtoloaditbyholdingallthewheelsinmyhand.Itkeptsnappingback.Ithoughttomyself,"Ifhe'sbeentryingthesamethingforaweek,andI'mtryingitandcan'tdoit,itain'tthewaytodoit!"Istoppedandlookedatitverycarefully,andInoticedthateachwheelhadalittlehole--justalittlehole.Thenitdawnedonme:Isprungthefirstone;thenIputapieceofwirethroughthelittlehole.ThenIsprungthesecondoneandputthewirethroughit.Thenthenextone,thenextone--likeputtingbeadsonastring--andIstrungthewholethingthefirsttimeItriedit,gotitallinline,pulledthewireout,andeverythingwasOK.ThatnightIshowedhimthelittleholeandhowIdidit,andfromthenonwetalkedalotaboutmachines;wegottobegoodfriends.Now,inhis

officetherewerealotoflittlecubbyholesthatcontainedlockshalftakenapart,andpiecesfromsafes,too.Oh,theywerebeautiful!ButIstilldidn'tsayawordaboutlocksandsafes.Finally,Ifiguredthedaywascoming,soIdecidedtoputoutalittlebitofbaitaboutsafes:I'dtellhimtheonlythingworthadamnthatIknewaboutthem--thatyoucantakethelasttwonumbersoffwhileit'sopen."Hey!"Isaid,lookingoveratthecubbyholes."Iseeyou'reworkingonMoslersafes.""Yeah.""Youknow,theselocksareweak.Ifthey'reopen,youcantakethelasttwonumbersoff.."Youcan?"hesaid,finallyshowingsomeinterest."Yeah.""Showmehow,"hesaid.Ishowedhimhowtodoit,andheturnedtome."What'syourname?"Allthistimewehadneverexchangednames."DickFeynman,"Isaid."God!You'reFeynman!"hesaidinawe."Thegreatsafecracker!I'veheardaboutyou;I'vewantedtomeetyouforsolong!Iwanttolearnhowtocrackasafefromyou.""Whatdoyoumean?Youknowhowtoopensafescold.""Idon't.""Listen,IheardabouttheCaptain'ssafe,andI'vebeenworkingprettyhardallthistimebecauseIwantedtomeetyou.Andyoutellmeyoudon'tknowhowtoopenasafecold.""That'sright.""Wellyoumustknowhowtodrillasafe.""Idon'tknowhowtodothateither.""WHAT?"Iexclaimed."TheguyinthepropertysectionsaidyoupickedupyourtoolsandwentuptodrilltheCaptain'ssafe.""Supposeyouhadajobasalocksmith,"hesaid,"andaguycomesdownandasksyoutodrillasafe.Whatwouldyoudo?"

"Well,"Ireplied,"I'dmakeafancythingofputtingmytoolstogether,pickthemupandtakethemtothesafe.ThenI'dputmydrillupagainstthesafesomewhereatrandomandI'dgovvvvvvvvvvv,soI'dsavemyjob.""That'sexactlywhatIwasgoingtodo.""Butyouopenedit!Youmustknowhowtocracksafes.""Oh,yeah.Iknewthatthelockscomefromthefactorysetat25-0-25or50-25-50,soIthought,'Whoknows;maybetheguydidn'tbothertochangethecombination,'andthesecondoneworked."

SoIdidlearnsomethingfromhim--thathecrackedsafesbythesamemiraculousmethodsthatIdid.ButevenfunnierwasthatthisbigshotCaptainhadtohaveasuper,supersafe,andhadpeoplegotoallthattroubletohoistthethingupintohisoffice,andhedidn'tevenbothertosetthecombination.Iwentfromofficetoofficeinmybuilding,tryingthosetwofactorycombinations,andIopenedaboutonesafeinfive.

UncleSamDoesn'tNeedYou!AfterthewarthearmywasscrapingthebottomofthebarreltogettheguysfortheoccupationforcesinGermany.Upuntilthenthearmydeferredpeopleforsomereasonotherthanphysicalfirst(IwasdeferredbecauseIwasworkingonthebomb),butnowtheyreversedthatandgaveeverybodyaphysicalfirst.ThatsummerIwasworkingforHansBetheatGeneralElectricinSchenectady,NewYork,andIrememberthatIhadtogosomedistance-IthinkitwastoAlbany--totakethephysical.Igettothedraftplace,andI'mhandedalotofformstofillout,andthenIstartgoingaroundtoallthesedifferentbooths.Theycheckyourvisionatone,yourhearingatanother,theytakeyourbloodsampleatanother,andsoforth.Anyway,finallyyoucometoboothnumberthirteen:psychiatrist.Thereyouwait,sittingononeofthebenches,andwhileI'mwaitingIcanseewhatishappening.Therearethreedesks,withapsychiatristbehindeachone,andthe"culprit"sitsacrossfromthepsychiatristinhisBVDsand

answersvariousquestions.Atthattimetherewerealotofmoviesaboutpsychiatrists.Forexample,therewasSpellbound,inwhichawomanwhousedtobeagreatpianoplayerhasherhandsstuckinsomeawkwardpositionandshecan'tmovethem,andherfamilycallsinapsychiatristtotrytohelpher,andthepsychiatristgoesupstairsintoaroomwithher,andyouseethedoorclosebehindthem,anddownstairsthefamilyisdiscussingwhat'sgoingtohappen,andthenshecomesoutoftheroom,handsstillstuckinthehorribleposition,walksdramaticallydownthestairsovertothepianoandsitsdown,liftsherhandsoverthekeyboard,andsuddenly--dumdiddledumdiddledum,dum,dum--shecanplayagain.Well,Ican'tstandthiskindofbaloney,andIhaddecidedthatpsychiatristsarefakers,andI'llhavenothingtodowiththem.SothatwasthemoodIwasinwhenitwasmyturntotalktothepsychiatrist.Isitdownatthedesk,andthepsychiatriststartslookingthroughmypapers."Hello,Dick!"hesaysinacheerfulvoice."Wheredoyouwork?"I'mthinking,"Whodoeshethinkheis,callingmebymyfirstname?"andIsaycoldly,"Schenectady.""Whodoyouworkfor,Dick?"saysthepsychiatrist,smilingagain."GeneralElectric.""Doyoulikeyourwork,Dick?"hesays,withthatsamebigsmileonhisface."So-so."Ijustwasn'tgoingtohaveanythingtodowithhim.Threenicequestions,andthenthefourthoneiscompletelydifferent."Doyouthinkpeopletalkaboutyou?"heasks,inalow,serioustone.Ilightupandsay,"Sure!WhenIgohome,mymotheroftentellsmehowshewastellingherfriendsaboutme."Heisn'tlisteningtotheexplanation;instead,he'swritingsomethingdownonmypaper.Thenagain,inalow,serioustone,hesays,"Doyouthinkpeoplestareatyou?"I'mallreadytosayno,whenhesays,"Forinstance,doyouthinkanyoftheboyswaitingonthebenchesarestaringatyounow?"WhileIhadbeenwaitingtotalktothepsychiatrist,Ihadnoticedtherewereabouttwelveguysonthebencheswaitingforthethreepsychiatrists,andthey'vegotnothingelsetolookat,soIdividetwelvebythree--thatmakesfoureach--butI'mconservative,soIsay,"Yeah,maybetwoofthemarelookingatus."

Hesays,"Welljustturnaroundandlook"--andhe'snotevenbotheringtolookhimself!SoIturnaround,andsureenough,twoguysarelooking.SoIpointtothemandIsay,"Yeah--there'sthatguy,andthatguyovertherelookingatus."Ofcourse,whenI'mturnedaroundandpointinglikethat,otherguysstarttolookatus,soIsay,"Nowhim,andthosetwooverthere-andnowthewholebunch."Hestilldoesn'tlookuptocheck.He'sbusywritingmorethingsonmypaper.Thenhesays,"Doyoueverhearvoicesinyourhead?""Veryrarely,"andI'mabouttodescribethetwooccasionsonwhichithappenedwhenhesays,"Doyoutalktoyourself?""Yeah,sometimeswhenI'mshaving,orthinking;onceinawhile."He'swritingdownmorestuff."Iseeyouhaveadeceasedwife--doyoutalktoher?"Thisquestionreallyannoyedme,butIcontainedmyselfandsaid,"Sometimes,whenIgouponamountainandI'mthinkingabouther."Morewriting.Thenheasks,"Isanyoneinyourfamilyinamentalinstitution?""Yeah,Ihaveanauntinaninsaneasylum.""Whydoyoucallitaninsaneasylum?"hesays,resentfully."Whydon'tyoucallitamentalinstitution?""Ithoughtitwasthesamething.""Justwhatdoyouthinkinsanityis?"hesays,angrily."It'sastrangeandpeculiardiseaseinhumanbeings,"Isayhonestly."There'snothinganymorestrangeorpeculiaraboutitthanappendicitis!"heretorts.

"Idon'tthinkso.Inappendicitisweunderstandthecausesbetter,andsomethingaboutthemechanismofit,whereaswithinsanityit'smuchmorecomplicatedandmysterious."Iwon'tgothroughthewholedebate;thepointisthatImeantinsanityisphysiologicallypeculiar,andhethoughtImeantitwassociallypeculiar.Upuntilthistime,althoughIhadbeenunfriendlytothepsychiatrist,IhadneverthelessbeenhonestineverythingIsaid.Butwhenheaskedmetoputoutmyhands,Icouldn'tresistpullingatrickaguyinthe"bloodsuckingline"hadtoldmeabout.Ifigurednobodywasevergoingtogeta

chancetodothis,andaslongasIwashalfwayunderwater,Iwoulddoit.SoIputoutmyhandswithonepalmupandtheotheronedown.Thepsychiatristdoesn'tnotice.Hesays,"Turnthemover."Iturnthemover.Theonethatwasupgoesdown,andtheonethatwasdowngoesup,andhestilldoesn'tnotice,becausehe'salwayslookingverycloselyatonehandtoseeifitisshaking.Sothetrickhadnoeffect.Finally,attheendofallthesequestions,hebecomesfriendlyagain.Helightsupandsays,"IseeyouhaveaPh.D.,Dick.Wheredidyoustudy?""MITandPrinceton.Andwheredidyoustudy!""YaleandLondon.Andwhatdidyoustudy,Dick?""Physics.Andwhatdidyoustudy?""Medicine.""Andthisismedicine?""Well,yes.Whatdoyouthinkitis?Yougoandsitdownoverthereandwaitafewminutes!"SoIsitonthebenchagain,andoneoftheotherguyswaitingsidlesuptomeandsays,"Gee!Youwereintheretwenty-fiveminutes!Theotherguyswereinthereonlyfiveminutes!""Yeah.""Hey,"hesays."Youwannaknowhowtofoolthepsychiatrist?Allyouhavetodoispickyournails,likethis.""Thenwhydon'tyoupickyournailslikethat?""Oh,"hesays,"Iwannagetinthearmy!""Youwannafoolthepsychiatrist?"Isay."Youjusttellhimthat!"AfterawhileIwascalledovertoadifferentdesktoseeanotherpsychiatrist.Whilethefirstpsychiatristhadbeenratheryoungandinnocent-looking,thisonewasgray-hairedanddistinguished-looking--obviouslythesuperiorpsychiatrist.Ifigureallofthisisnowgoingtogetstraightenedout,butnomatterwhathappens,I'mnotgoingtobecomefriendly.Thenewpsychiatristlooksatmypapers,putsabigsmileonhisface,andsays,"Hello,Dick.IseeyouworkedatLosAlamosduringthewar."

"Yeah.""Thereusedtobeaboys'schoolthere,didn'tthere?""That'sright.""Weretherealotofbuildingsintheschool?""Onlyafew."Threequestions--sametechnique-andthenextquestioniscompletelydifferent."Yousaidyouhearvoicesinyourhead.Describethat,please.""Ithappensveryrarely,whenI'vebeenpayingattentiontoapersonwithaforeignaccent.AsI'mfallingasleepIcanhearhisvoiceveryclearly.ThefirsttimeithappenedwaswhileIwasastudentatMIT.IcouldhearoldProfessorVallartasay,'Dee-adee-aelectricfield-a.'AndtheothertimewasinChicagoduringthewar,whenProfessorTellerwasexplainingtomehowthebombworked.SinceI'minterestedinallkindsofphenomena,IwonderedhowIcouldhearthesevoiceswithaccentssoprecisely,whenIcouldn'timitatethemthatwell...Doesn'teverybodyhavesomethinglikethathappenonceinawhile?"Thepsychiatristputhishandoverhisface,andIcouldseethroughhisfingersalittlesmile(hewouldn'tanswerthequestion).Thenthepsychiatristcheckedintosomethingelse."Yousaidthatyoutalktoyourdeceasedwife.Whatdoyousaytoher?"Igotangry.Ifigureit'snoneofhisdamnbusiness,andIsay,"ItellherIloveher,ifit'sallrightwithyou!"Aftersomemorebitterexchangeshesays,"Doyoubelieveinthesupernormal?"Isay,"Idon'tknowwhatthe'supernormal'is.""What?You,aPh.D.inphysics,don'tknowwhatthesupernormalis?""That'sright.""It'swhatSirOliverLodgeandhisschoolbelievein."That'snotmuchofaclue,butIknewit."Youmeanthesupernatural."

"Youcancallitthatifyouwant."

"Allright,Iwill.""Doyoubelieveinmentaltelepathy?""No.Doyou?""Well,I'mkeepinganopenmind.""What?You,apsychiatrist,keepinganopenmind?Ha!"Itwentonlikethisforquiteawhile.Thenatsomepointneartheendhesays,"Howmuchdoyouvaluelife?""Sixty-four.""Whydidyousay'sixty-four'?""Howareyousupposedtomeasurethevalueoflife?""No!Imean,whydidyousay'sixty-four,'andnot'seventy-three,'forinstance?""IfIhadsaid'seventy-three,'youwouldhaveaskedmethesamequestion!"Thepsychiatristfinishedwiththreefriendlyquestions,justastheotherpsychiatristhaddone,handedmemypapers,andIwentofftothenextbooth.WhileI'mwaitingintheline,IlookatthepaperwhichhasthesummaryofallthetestsI'vetakensofar.AndjustforthehellofitIshowmypapertotheguynexttome,andIaskhiminaratherstupid-soundingvoice,"Hey!Whatdidyougetin'Psychiatric'?Oh!Yougotan'N.'Igotan'N'ineverythingelse,butIgota'D'in'Psychiatric.'Whatdoesthatmean?"Iknewwhatitmeant:"N"isnormal,"D"isdeficient.Theguypatsmeontheshoulderandsays,"Buddy,it'sperfectlyallright.Itdoesn'tmeananything.Don'tworryaboutit!"Thenhewalkswayovertotheothercorneroftheroom,frightened:It'salunatic!Istartedlookingatthepapersthepsychiatristshadwritten,anditlookedprettyserious!Thefirstguywrote:Thinkspeopletalkabouthim.Thinkspeoplestareathim.Auditoryhypnogogichallucinations.

Talkstoself.Talkstodeceasedwife.Maternalauntinmentalinstitution.Verypeculiarstare.(Iknewwhatthatwas--thatwaswhenIsaid,"Andthisismedicine?")Thesecondpsychiatristwasobviouslymoreimportant,becausehisscribblewashardertoread.Hisnotessaidthingslike"auditoryhypnogogichallucinationsconfirmed."("Hypnogogic"meansyougetthemwhileyou'refallingasleep.)Hewrotealotofothertechnical-soundingnotes,andIlookedthemover,andtheylookedprettybad.IfiguredI'dhavetogetallofthisstraightenedoutwiththearmysomehow.Attheendofthewholephysicalexaminationthere'sanarmyofficerwhodecideswhetheryou'reinoryou'reout.Forinstance,ifthere'ssomethingthematterwithyourhearing,hehastodecideifit'sseriousenoughtokeepyououtofthearmy.Andbecausethearmywasscrapingthebottomofthebarrelfornewrecruits,thisofficerwasn'tgoingtotakeanythingfromanybody.Hewastoughasnails.Forinstance,thefellowaheadofmehadtwobonesstickingoutfromthebackofhisneck--somekindofdisplacedvertebra,orsomething--andthisarmyofficerhadtogetupfromhisdeskandfeelthem--hehadtomakesuretheywerereal!IfigurethisistheplaceI'llgetthiswholemisunderstandingstraightenedout.Whenit'smyturn,Ihandmypaperstotheofficer,andI'mreadytoexplaineverything,buttheofficerdoesn'tlookup.Heseesthe"D"nextto"Psychiatric,"immediatelyreachesfortherejectionstamp,doesn'taskmeanyquestions,doesn'tsayanything;hejuststampsmypapers"REJECTED,"andhandsmemy4-Fpaper,stilllookingathisdesk.SoIwentoutandgotonthebusforSchenectady,andwhileIwasridingonthebusIthoughtaboutthecrazythingthathadhappened,andIstartedtolaugh--outloud--andIsaidtomyself,"MyGod!Iftheysawmenow,theywouldbesure!"WhenIfinallygotbacktoSchenectadyIwentintoseeHansBethe.Hewassittingbehindhisdesk,andhesaidtomeinajokingvoice,"Well,Dick,didyoupass?"Imadealongfaceandshookmyheadslowly."No."Thenhesuddenlyfeltterrible,thinkingthattheyhaddiscoveredsomeseriousmedicalproblemwithme,sohesaidinaconcernedvoice,"What's

thematter,Dick?"Itouchedmyfingertomyforehead.Hesaid,"No!""Yes!"

Hecried,"No-o-o-o-o-o-o!!!"andhelaughedsohardthattheroofoftheGeneralElectricCompanynearlycameoff.Itoldthestorytomanyotherpeople,andeverybodylaughed,withafewexceptions.WhenIgotbacktoNewYork,myfather,mother,andsistercalledformeattheairport,andonthewayhomeinthecarItoldthemallthestory.Attheendofitmymothersaid,"Well,whatshouldwedo,Mel?"Myfathersaid,"Don'tberidiculous,Lucille.It'sabsurd!"Sothatwasthat,butmysistertoldmelaterthatwhenwegothomeandtheywerealone,myfathersaid,"Now,Lucille,youshouldn'thavesaidanythinginfrontofhim.Nowwhatshouldwedo?"Bythattimemymotherhadsoberedup,andshesaid,"Don'tberidiculous,Mel!"Oneotherpersonwasbotheredbythestory.ItwasataPhysicalSocietymeetingdinner,andProfessorSlater,myoldprofessoratMIT,said,"Hey,Feynman!TellusthatstoryaboutthedraftIheard."Itoldthewholestorytoallthesephysicists--Ididn'tknowanyofthemexceptSlater--andtheywerealllaughingthroughout,butattheendoneguysaid,"Well,maybethepsychiatristhadsomethinginmind."Isaidresolutely,"Andwhatprofessionareyou,sir?"Ofcourse,thatwasadumbquestion,becausewewereallphysicistsataprofessionalmeeting.ButIwassurprisedthataphysicistwouldsaysomethinglikethat.Hesaid,"Well,uh,I'mreallynotsupposedtobehere,butIcameastheguestofmybrother,who'saphysicist.I'mapsychiatrist."Ismokedhimrightout!AfterawhileIbegantoworry.Here'saguywho'sbeendeferredallduringthewarbecausehe'sworkingonthebomb,andthedraftboardgets

letterssayinghe'simportant,andnowhegetsa"D"in"Psychiatric"--itturnsouthe'sanut!Obviouslyheisn'tanut;he'sjusttryingtomakeusbelievehe'sanut--we'llgethim!Thesituationdidn'tlookgoodtome,soIhadtofindawayout.Afterafewdays,Ifiguredoutasolution.Iwrotealettertothedraftboardthatwentsomethinglikethis:DearSirs:IdonotthinkIshouldbedraftedbecauseIamteachingsciencestudents,anditispartlyinthestrengthofourfuturescientiststhatthenationalwelfarelies.Nevertheless,youmaydecidethatIshouldbedeferredbecauseoftheresultofmymedicalreport,namely,thatIampsychiatricallyunfit.IfeelthatnoweightwhatsoevershouldbeattachedtothisreportbecauseIconsiderittobeagrosserror.IamcallingthiserrortoyourattentionbecauseIaminsaneenoughnottowishtotakeadvantageofit.Sincerely,R.PFeynmanResult:"Deferred.4FMedicalReasons."

Part4FromCornelltoCaltech,WithaTouchofBrazilTheDignifiedProfessorIdon'tbelieveIcanreallydowithoutteaching.Thereasonis,IhavetohavesomethingsothatwhenIdon'thaveanyideasandI'mnotgettinganywhereIcansaytomyself,"AtleastI'mliving;atleastI'mdoingsomething;I'mmakingsomecontribution"--it'sjustpsychological.WhenIwasatPrincetoninthe1940sIcouldseewhathappenedtothosegreatmindsattheInstituteforAdvancedStudy,whohadbeenspeciallyselectedfortheirtremendousbrainsandwerenowgiventhisopportunitytositinthislovelyhousebythewoodsthere,withnoclassestoteach,withnoobligationswhatsoever.Thesepoorbastardscouldnowsitandthinkclearlyallbythemselves,OK?Sotheydon'tgetanyideasforawhile:Theyhaveeveryopportunitytodosomething,andthey'renotgettinganyideas.Ibelievethatinasituationlikethisakindofguiltor

depressionwormsinsideofyou,andyoubegintoworryaboutnotgettinganyideas.Andnothinghappens.Stillnoideascome.Nothinghappensbecausethere'snotenoughrealactivityandchallenge:You'renotincontactwiththeexperimentalguys.Youdon'thavetothinkhowtoanswerquestionsfromthestudents.Nothing!Inanythinkingprocesstherearemomentswheneverythingisgoinggoodandyou'vegotwonderfulideas.Teachingisaninterruption,andsoit'sthegreatestpainintheneckintheworld.Andthentherearethelongerperiodsoftimewhennotmuchiscomingtoyou.You'renotgettinganyideas,andifyou'redoingnothingatall,itdrivesyounuts!Youcan'tevensay"I'mteachingmyclass."Ifyou'reteachingaclass,youcanthinkabouttheelementarythingsthatyouknowverywell.Thesethingsarekindoffunanddelightful.Itdoesn'tdoanyharmtothinkthemoveragain.Isthereabetterwaytopresentthem?Arethereanynewproblemsassociatedwiththem?Arethereanynewthoughtsyoucanmakeaboutthem?Theelementarythingsareeasytothinkabout;ifyoucan'tthinkofanewthought,noharmdone;whatyouthoughtaboutitbeforeisgoodenoughfortheclass.Ifyoudothinkofsomethingnew,you'reratherpleasedthatyouhaveanewwayoflookingatit.Thequestionsofthestudentsareoftenthesourceofnewresearch.TheyoftenaskprofoundquestionsthatI'vethoughtaboutattimesandthengivenupon,sotospeak,forawhile.Itwouldn'tdomeanyharmtothinkaboutthemagainandseeifIcangoanyfurthernow.ThestudentsmaynotbeabletoseethethingIwanttoanswer,orthesubtletiesIwanttothinkabout,buttheyremindmeofaproblembyaskingquestionsintheneighborhoodofthatproblem.It'snotsoeasytoremindyourselfofthesethings.SoIfindthatteachingandthestudentskeeplifegoing,andIwouldneveracceptanypositioninwhichsomebodyhasinventedahappysituationformewhereIdon'thavetoteach.Never.ButonceIwasofferedsuchaposition.Duringthewar,whenIwasstillinLosAlamos,HansBethegotmethisjobatCornell,for$3700ayear.Igotanofferfromsomeotherplaceformore,butIlikeBethe,andIhaddecidedtogotoCornellandwasn'tworriedaboutthemoney.ButBethewasalwayswatchingoutforme,andwhenhefoundoutthatotherswereofferingmore,hegotCornelltogivemearaiseto$4000evenbeforeIstarted.CornelltoldmethatIwouldbeteachingacourseinmathematicalmethodsofphysics,andtheytoldmewhatdayIshouldcome--November6,Ithink,butitsoundsfunnythatitcouldbesolateintheyear.ItookthetrainfromLosAlamostoIthaca,andspentmostofmytimewritingfinal

reportsfortheManhattanProject.IstillrememberthatitwasonthenighttrainfromBuffalotoIthacathatIbegantoworkonmycourse.YouhavetounderstandthepressuresatLosAlamos.Youdideverythingasfastasyoucould;everybodyworkedvery,veryhard;andeverythingwasfinishedatthelastminute.So,workingoutmycourseonthetrainadayortwobeforethefirstlectureseemednaturaltome.Mathematicalmethodsofphysicswasanidealcourseformetoteach.ItwaswhatIhaddoneduringthewar--applymathematicstophysics.Iknewwhichmethodswerereallyuseful,andwhichwerenot.Ihadlotsofexperiencebythattime,workingsohardforfouryearsusingmathematicaltricks.SoIlaidoutthedifferentsubjectsinmathematicsandhowtodealwiththem,andIstillhavethepapers--thenotesImadeonthetrain.IgotoffthetraininIthaca,carryingmyheavysuitcaseonmyshoulder,asusual.Aguycalledout,"Wantataxi,sir?"Ihadneverwantedtotakeataxi:Iwasalwaysayoungfella,shortonmoney,wantingtobemyownman.ButIthoughttomyself,"I'maprofessor--Imustbedignified."SoItookmysuitcasedownfrommyshoulderandcarrieditinmyhand,andsaid,"Yes.""Whereto?""Thehotel.""Whichhotel?""Oneofthehotelsyou'vegotinIthaca.""Haveyougotareservation?""No.""It'snotsoeasytogetaroom.""We'lljustgofromonehoteltoanother.Stayandwaitforme."ItrytheHotelIthaca:noroom.WegoovertotheTraveller'sHotel:theydon'thaveanyroomeither.Isaytothetaxiguy,"Nousedrivingaroundtownwithme;it'sgonnacostalotofmoney,I'llwalkfromhoteltohotel."IleavemysuitcaseintheTraveller'sHotelandIstarttowanderaround,lookingforaroom.ThatshowsyouhowmuchpreparationIhad,anewprofessor.Ifoundsomeotherguywanderingaroundlookingforaroomtoo.Itturnedoutthatthehotelroomsituationwasutterlyimpossible.Afterawhilewewanderedupsomesortofahill,andgraduallyrealizedwewerecomingnearthecampusoftheuniversity.

Wesawsomethingthatlookedlikearoominghouse,withanopenwindow,andyoucouldseebunkbedsinthere.Bythistimeitwasnight,sowedecidedtoaskifwecouldsleepthere.Thedoorwasopen,buttherewasnobodyinthewholeplace.Wewalkedupintooneoftherooms,andtheotherguysaid,"Comeon,let'sjustsleephere!"Ididn'tthinkthatwassogood.Itseemedlikestealingtome.Somebodyhadmadethebeds;theymightcomehomeandfindussleepingintheirbeds,andwe'dgetintotrouble.Sowegoout.Wewalkalittlefurther,andwesee,underastreetlight,anenormousmassofleavesthathadbeencollected--itwasautumn--fromthelawns.Isay,"Hey!Wecouldcrawlintheseleavesandsleephere!"Itriedit;theywererathersoft,Iwastiredofwalkingaround,itwouldhavebeenperfectlyallright.ButIdidn'twanttogetintotroublerightaway.BackatLosAlamospeoplehadteasedme(whenIplayeddrumsandsoon)aboutwhatkindof"professor"Cornellwasgoingtoget.TheysaidI'dgetareputationrightoffbydoingsomethingsilly,soIwastryingtobealittledignified.Ireluctantlygaveuptheideaofsleepinginthepileofleaves.Wewanderedaroundalittlemore,andcametoabigbuilding,someimportantbuildingofthecampus.Wewentin,andthereweretwocouchesinthehallway.Theotherguysaid,"I'msleepinghere!"andcollapsedontothecouch.Ididn'twanttogetintotrouble,soIfoundajanitordowninthebasementandaskedhimwhetherIcouldsleeponthecouch,andhesaid"Sure."ThenextmorningIwokeup,foundaplacetoeatbreakfast,andstartedrushingaroundasfastasIcouldtofindoutwhenmyfirstclasswasgoingtobe.Iranintothephysicsdepartment:"Whattimeismyfirstclass?DidImissit?"Theguysaid,"Youhavenothingtoworryabout.Classesdon'tstartforeightdays."Thatwasashocktome!ThefirstthingIsaidwas,"Well,whydidyoutellmetobehereaweekahead?""Ithoughtyou'dliketocomeandgetacquainted,findaplacetostayandsettledownbeforeyoubeginyourclasses."Iwasbacktocivilization,andIdidn'tknowwhatitwas!ProfessorGibbssentmetotheStudentUniontofindaplacetostay.It'sabigplace,withlotsofstudentsmillingaround.IgouptoabigdeskthatsaysHOUSINGandIsay,"I'mnew,andI'mlookingforaroom."Theguysays,"Buddy,thehousingsituationinIthacaistough.Infact,it'ssotoughthat,believeitornot,aprofessorhadtosleeponacouchin

thislobbylastnight!"Ilookaround,andit'sthesamelobby!IturntohimandIsay,"Well,I'mthatprofessor,andtheprofessordoesn'twanttodoitagain!"MyearlydaysatCornellasanewprofessorwereinterestingandsometimesamusing.AfewdaysafterIgotthere,professorGibbscameintomyofficeandexplainedtomethatordinarilywedon'tacceptstudentsthislateintheterm,butinafewcases,whentheapplicantisvery,verygood,wecanaccepthim.Hehandedmeanapplicationandaskedmetolookitover.Hecomesback:"Well,whatdoyouthink?""Ithinkhe'sfirstrate,andIthinkweoughttoaccepthim.Ithinkwe'reluckytogethimhere.""Yes,butdidyoulookathispicture?""Whatpossibledifferencecouldthatmake?"Iexclaimed."Absolutelynone,sir!Gladtohearyousaythat.Iwantedtoseewhatkindofamanwehadforournewprofessor."GibbslikedthewayIcamerightbackathimwithoutthinkingtomyself,"He'stheheadofthedepartment,andI'mnewhere,soI'dbetterbecarefulwhatIsay."Ihaven'tgotthespeedtothinklikethat;myfirstreactionisimmediate,andIsaythefirstthingthatcomesintomymind.Thenanotherguycameintomyoffice.Hewantedtotalktomeaboutphilosophy,andIcan'treallyquiterememberwhathesaid,buthewantedmetojoinsomekindofaclubofprofessors.Theclubwassomesortofanti-SemiticclubthatthoughttheNazisweren'tsobad.HetriedtoexplaintomehowthereweretoomanyJewsdoingthisandthat--somecrazything.SoIwaiteduntilhegotallfinished,andsaidtohim,"Youknow,youmadeabigmistake:IwasbroughtupinaJewishfamily."Hewentout,andthatwasthebeginningofmylossofrespectforsomeoftheprofessorsinthehumanities,andotherareas,atCornellUniversity.Iwasstartingover,aftermywife'sdeath,andIwantedtomeetsomegirls.Inthosedaystherewasalotofsocialdancing.SotherewerealotofdancesatCornell,mixerstogetpeopletogether,especiallyforthefreshmenandothersreturningtoschool.IrememberthefirstdancethatIwentto.Ihadn'tbeendancingforthreeorfouryearswhileIwasatLosAlamos;Ihadn'tevenbeeninsociety.SoIwenttothisdanceanddancedasbestIcould,whichIthoughtwasreasonablyallright.Youcanusuallytellsomebody'sdancingwithyouandtheyfeelprettygoodaboutit.

AswedancedIwouldtalkwiththegirlalittlebit;shewouldaskmesomequestionsaboutmyself,andIwouldasksomeabouther.ButwhenIwantedtodancewithagirlIhaddancedwithbefore,Ihadtolookforher."Wouldyouliketodanceagain?""No,I'msorry;Ineedsomeair."Or,"Well,Ihavetogototheladies'room"--thisandthatexcuse,fromtwoorthreegirlsinarow!Whatwasthematterwithme?Wasmydancinglousy?Wasmypersonalitylousy?Idancedwithanothergirl,andagaincametheusualquestions:"Areyouastudent,oragraduatestudent?"(Therewerealotofstudentswholookedoldthenbecausetheyhadbeeninthearmy.)"No,I'maprofessor.""Oh?Aprofessorofwhat?"

"Theoreticalphysics.""Isupposeyouworkedontheatomicbomb.""Yes,IwasatLosAlamosduringthewar."Shesaid,"You'readamnliar!"--andwalkedoff.Thatrelievedmeagreatdeal.Itexplainedeverything.Ihadbeentellingallthegirlsthesimple-minded,stupidtruth,andIneverknewwhatthetroublewas.ItwasperfectlyobviousthatIwasbeingshunnedbyonegirlafteranotherwhenIdideverythingperfectlyniceandnaturalandwaspolite,andansweredthequestions.Everythingwouldlookverypleasant,andthenthwoop--itwouldn'twork.Ididn'tunderstandituntilthiswomanfortunatelycalledmeadamnliar.SothenItriedtoavoidallthequestions,andithadtheoppositeeffect:"Areyouafreshman?""Well,no.""Areyouagraduatestudent?""No."

"Whatareyou?""Idon'twanttosay.""Whywon'tyoutelluswhatyouare?""Idon'twantto...--andthey'dkeeptalkingtome!IendedupwithtwogirlsoveratmyhouseandoneofthemtoldmethatIreallyshouldn'tfeeluncomfortableaboutbeingafreshman;therewereplentyofguysmyagewhowerestartingoutincollege,anditwasreallyallright.Theyweresophomores,andwerebeingquitemotherly,thetwoofthem.Theyworkedveryhardonmypsychology,butIdidn'twantthesituationtogetsodistortedandsomisunderstood,soIletthemknowIwasaprofessor.TheywereveryupsetthatIhadfooledthem.IhadalotoftroublebeingayoungprofessoratCornell.Anyway,Ibegantoteachthecourseinmathematicalmethodsinphysics,andIthinkIalsotaughtanothercourse--electricityandmagnetism,perhaps.Ialsointendedtodoresearch.Beforethewar,whileIwasgettingmydegree,Ihadmanyideas:Ihadinventednewmethodsofdoingquantummechanicswithpathintegrals,andIhadalotofstuffIwantedtodo.AtCornell,I'dworkonpreparingmycourses,andI'dgoovertothelibraryalotandreadthroughtheArabianNightsandoglethegirlsthatwouldgoby.Butwhenitcametimetodosomeresearch,Icouldn'tgettowork.Iwasalittletired;Iwasnotinterested;Icouldn'tdoresearch!ThiswentonforwhatIfeltwasafewyears,butwhenIgobackandcalculatethetiming,itcouldn'thavebeenthatlong.PerhapsnowadaysIwouldn'tthinkitwassuchalongtime,butthen,itseemedtogoonforaverylongtime.Isimplycouldn'tgetstartedonanyproblem:IrememberwritingoneortwosentencesaboutsomeproblemingammaraysandthenIcouldn'tgoanyfurther.Iwasconvincedthatfromthewarandeverythingelse(thedeathofmywife)Ihadsimplyburnedmyselfout.Inowunderstanditmuchbetter.Firstofall,ayoungmandoesn'trealizehowmuchtimeittakestopreparegoodlectures,forthefirsttime,especially--andtogivethelectures,andtomakeupexamproblems,andtocheckthatthey'resensibleones.Iwasgivinggoodcourses,thekindofcourseswhereIputalotofthoughtintoeachlecture.ButIdidn'trealizethatthat'salotofwork!SohereIwas,"burnedout,"readingtheArabianNightsandfeelingdepressedaboutmyself.DuringthisperiodIwouldgetoffersfromdifferentplaces--universitiesandindustry--withsalarieshigherthanmyown.AndeachtimeIgot

somethinglikethatIwouldgetalittlemoredepressed.Iwouldsaytomyself,"Look,they'regivingmethesewonderfuloffers,buttheydon'trealizethatI'mburnedout!OfcourseIcan'tacceptthem.Theyexpectmetoaccomplishsomething,andIcan'taccomplishanything!Ihavenoideas..."FinallytherecameinthemailaninvitationfromtheInstituteforAdvancedStudy:Einstein..vonNeumann...Wyl...allthesegreatminds!Theywritetome,andinvitemetobeaprofessorthere!Andnotjustaregularprofessor.SomehowtheyknewmyfeelingsabouttheInstitute:howit'stootheoretical;howthere'snotenoughrealactivityandchallenge.Sotheywrite,"Weappreciatethatyouhaveaconsiderableinterestinexperimentsandinteaching,sowehavemadearrangementstocreateaspecialtypeofprofessorship,ifyouwish:halfprofessoratPrincetonUniversity,andhalfattheInstitute."InstituteforAdvancedStudy!Specialexception!ApositionbetterthanEinstein,even!Itwasideal;itwasperfect;itwasabsurd!Itwasabsurd.Theotheroffershadmademefeelworse,uptoapoint.Theywereexpectingmetoaccomplishsomething.Butthisofferwassoridiculous,soimpossibleformeevertoliveupto,soridiculouslyoutofproportion.Theotheroneswerejustmistakes;thiswasanabsurdity!IlaughedatitwhileIwasshaving,thinkingaboutit.AndthenIthoughttomyself,"Youknow,whattheythinkofyouissofantastic,it'simpossibletoliveuptoit.Youhavenoresponsibilitytoliveuptoit!"Itwasabrilliantidea:Youhavenoresponsibilitytoliveuptowhatotherpeoplethinkyououghttoaccomplish.Ihavenoresponsibilitytoheliketheyexpectmetobe.It'stheirmistake,notmyfailing.Itwasn'tafailureonmypartthattheInstituteforAdvancedStudyexpectedmetohethatgood;itwasimpossible.Itwasclearlyamistake-andthemomentIappreciatedthepossibilitythattheymightbewrong,Irealizedthatitwasalsotrueofalltheotherplaces,includingmyownuniversity.IamwhatIam,andiftheyexpectedmetohegoodandthey'reofferingmesomemoneyforit,it'stheirhardluck.Then,withintheday,bysomestrangemiracle-perhapsheoverheardmetalkingaboutit,ormaybehejustunderstoodme--BobWilson,whowasheadofthelaboratorythereatCornell,calledmeintoseehim.Hesaid,inaserioustone,"Feynman,you'reteachingyourclasseswell;you'redoingagoodjob,andwe'reverysatisfied.Anyotherexpectationswemighthaveareamatterofluck.Whenwehireaprofessor,we'retakingalltherisks.

Ifitcomesoutgood,allright.Ifitdoesn't,toobad.Butyoushouldn'tworryaboutwhatyou'redoingornotdoing."Hesaiditmuchbetterthanthat,anditreleasedmefromthefeelingofguilt.ThenIhadanotherthought:Physicsdisgustsmealittlebitnow,butIusedtoenjoydoingphysics.WhydidIenjoyit?Iusedtoplaywithit.IusedtodowhateverIfeltlikedoing--itdidn'thavetodowithwhetheritwasimportantforthedevelopmentofnuclearphysics,butwhetheritwasinterestingandamusingformetoplaywith.WhenIwasinhighschool,I'dseewaterrunningoutofafaucetgrowingnarrower,andwonderifIcouldfigureoutwhatdeterminesthatcurve.Ifounditwasrathereasytodo.Ididn'thavetodoit;itwasn'timportantforthefutureofscience;somebodyelsehadalreadydoneit.Thatdidn'tmakeanydifference:I'dinventthingsandplaywiththingsformyownentertainment.SoIgotthisnewattitude.NowthatIamburnedoutandI'llneveraccomplishanything,I'vegotthisnicepositionattheuniversityteachingclasseswhichIratherenjoy,andjustlikeIreadtheArabianNightsforpleasure,I'mgoingtoplaywithphysics,wheneverIwantto,withoutworryingaboutanyimportancewhatsoever.WithinaweekIwasinthecafeteriaandsomeguy,foolingaround,throwsaplateintheair.AstheplatewentupintheairIsawitwobble,andInoticedtheredmedallionofCornellontheplategoingaround.Itwasprettyobvioustomethatthemedallionwentaroundfasterthanthewobbling.Ihadnothingtodo,soIstarttofigureoutthemotionoftherotatingplate.Idiscoverthatwhentheangleisveryslight,themedallionrotatestwiceasfastasthewobblerate--twotoone.Itcameoutofacomplicatedequation!ThenIthought,"IstheresomewayIcanseeinamorefundamentalway,bylookingattheforcesorthedynamics,whyit'stwotoone?"Idon'trememberhowIdidit,butIultimatelyworkedoutwhatthemotionofthemassparticlesis,andhowalltheaccelerationsbalancetomakeitcomeouttwotoone.IstillremembergoingtoHansBetheandsaying,"Hey,Hans!Inoticedsomethinginteresting.Heretheplategoesaroundso,andthereasonit'stwotooneis..."andIshowedhimtheaccelerations.Hesays,"Feynman,that'sprettyinteresting,butwhat'stheimportanceofit?Whyareyoudoingit?""Hah!"Isay."There'snoimportancewhatsoever.I'mjustdoingitforthefunofit."Hisreactiondidn'tdiscourageme;IhadmadeupmymindIwasgoingtoenjoyphysicsanddowhateverIliked.

Iwentontoworkoutequationsofwobbles.ThenIthoughtabouthowelectronorbitsstarttomoveinrelativity.Thenthere'stheDiracEquationinelectrodynamics.Andthenquantumelectrodynamics.AndbeforeIknewit(itwasaveryshorttime)Iwas"playing"--working,really--withthesameoldproblemthatIlovedsomuch,thatIhadstoppedworkingonwhenIwenttoLosAlamos:mythesis-typeproblems;allthoseold-fashioned,wonderfulthings.Itwaseffortless.Itwaseasytoplaywiththesethings.Itwaslikeuncorkingabottle:Everythingflowedouteffortlessly.Ialmosttriedtoresistit!TherewasnoimportancetowhatIwasdoing,butultimatelytherewas.ThediagramsandthewholebusinessthatIgottheNobelPrizeforcamefromthatpiddlingaroundwiththewobblingplate.

AnyQuestions?WhenIwasatCornellIwasaskedtogiveaseriesoflecturesonceaweekatanaeronauticslaboratoryinBuffalo.Cornellhadmadeanarrangementwiththelaboratorywhichincludedeveninglecturesinphysicstobegivenbysomebodyfromtheuniversity.Therewassomeguyalreadydoingit,buttherewerecomplaints,sothephysicsdepartmentcametome.IwasayoungprofessoratthetimeandIcouldn'tsaynoveryeasily,soIagreedtodoit.TogettoBuffalotheyhadmegoonalittleairlinewhichconsistedofoneairplane.ItwascalledRobinsonAirlines(itlaterbecameMohawkAirlines)andIrememberthefirsttimeIflewtoBuffalo,Mr.Robinsonwasthepilot.Heknockedtheiceoffthewingsandweflewaway.Allinall,Ididn'tenjoytheideaofgoingtoBuffaloeveryThursdaynight.Theuniversitywaspayingme$35inadditiontomyexpenses.IwasaDepressionkid,andIfiguredI'dsavethe$35,whichwasasizableamountofmoneyinthosedays.SuddenlyIgotanidea:Irealizedthatthepurposeofthe$35wastomakethetriptoBuffalomoreattractive,andthewaytodothatistospendthemoney.SoIdecidedtospendthe$35toentertainmyselfeachtimeIwenttoBuffalo,andseeifIcouldmakethetripworthwhile.Ididn'thavemuchexperiencewiththerestoftheworld.Notknowinghowtogetstarted,IaskedthetaxidriverwhopickedmeupattheairporttoguidemethroughtheinsandoutsofentertainingmyselfinBuffalo.Hewasveryhelpful,andIstillrememberhisname--Marcuso,whodrovecarnumber169.IwouldalwaysaskforhimwhenIcameintotheairportonThursdaynights.

AsIwasgoingtogivemyfirstlectureIaskedMarcuso,"Where'saninterestingbarwherelotsofthingsaregoingon?"Ithoughtthatthingswentoninbars."TheAlibiRoom,"hesaid."It'salivelyplacewhereyoucanmeetlotsofpeople.I'lltakeyouthereafteryourlecture."AfterthelectureMarcusopickedmeupanddrovemetotheAlibiRoom.Ontheway,Isay,"Listen,I'mgonnahavetoaskforsomekindofdrink.What'sthenameofagoodwhiskey?""AskforBlackandWhite,waterontheside,"hecounseled.TheAlibiRoomwasanelegantplacewithlotsofpeopleandlotsofactivity.Thewomenweredressedinfurs,everybodywasfriendly,andthephoneswereringingallthetime.IwalkeduptothebarandorderedmyBlackandWhite,waterontheside.Thebartenderwasveryfriendlyquicklyfoundabeautifulwomantositnexttome,andintroducedher.Iboughtherdrinks.Ilikedtheplaceanddecidedtocomebackthefollowingweek.EveryThursdaynightI'dcometoBuffaloandbedrivenincarnumber169tomylectureandthentotheAlibiRoom.I'dwalkintothebarandordermyBlackandWhite,waterontheside.AfterafewweeksofthisitgottothepointwhereassoonasIwouldcomein,beforeIreachedthebar,therewouldbeaBlackandWhite,waterontheside,waitingforme."Yourregular,sir;'wasthebartender'sgreeting.I'dtakethewholeshotglassdownatonce,toshowIwasatoughguy,likeIhadseeninthemovies,andthenI'dsitaroundforabouttwentysecondsbeforeIdrankthewater.AfterawhileIdidn'tevenneedthewater.Thebartenderalwayssawtoitthattheemptychairnexttominewasquicklyfilledbyabeautifulwoman,andeverythingwouldstartoffallright,hutjustbeforethebarclosed,theyallhadtogooffsomewhere.IthoughtitwaspossiblybecauseIwasgettingprettydrunkbythattime.Onetime,astheAlibiRoomwasclosing,thegirlIwasbuyingdrinksforthatnightsuggestedwegotoanotherplacewheresheknewalotofpeople.Itwasonthesecondfloorofsomeotherbuildingwhichgavenohintthattherewasabarupstairs.AllthebarsinBuffalohadtocloseattwoo'clock,andallthepeopleinthebarswouldgetsuckedintothisbighallonthesecondfloor,andkeeprightongoing--illegally,ofcourse.ItriedtofigureoutawaythatIcouldstayinbarsandwatchwhatwasgoingonwithoutgettingdrunk.OnenightInoticedaguywhohadbeentherealotgouptothebarandorderaglassofmilk.Everybodyknewwhathisproblemwas:hehadanulcer,thepoorfella.Thatgavemeanidea.

ThenexttimeIcomeintotheAlibiRoomthebartendersays,"Theusual,sir?""No.Coke.JustplainCoke,"Isay,withadisappointedlookonmyface.Theotherguysgatheraroundandsympathize:"Yeah,Iwasonthewagonthreeweeksago,"onesays."It'sreallytough,Dick,it'sreallytough,"saysanother.Theyallhonoredme.Iwas"onthewagon"now,andhadthegutstoenterthatbar,withallits"temptations,"andjustorderCoke--because,ofcourse,Ihadtoseemyfriends.AndImaintainedthatforamonth!Iwasarealtoughbastard.OnetimeIwasinthemen'sroomofthebarandtherewasaguyattheurinal.Hewaskindofdrunk,andsaidtomeinamean-soundingvoice,"Idon'tlikeyourface.IthinkI'llpushitin."Iwasscaredgreen.Irepliedinanequallymeanvoice,"Getoutofmyway,orI'llpeerightthroughya!"Hesaidsomethingelse,andIfigureditwasgettingprettyclosetoafightnow.Ihadneverbeeninafight.Ididn'tknowwhattodo,exactly,andIwasafraidofgettinghurt.Ididthinkofonething:Imovedawayfromthewall,becauseIfiguredifIgothit,I'dgethitfromtheback,too.ThenIfeltasortoffunnycrunchinginmyeye--itdidn'thurtmuch--andthenextthingIknow,I'mslammingthesonofagunrightback,automatically.ItwasremarkableformetodiscoverthatIdidn'thavetothink;the"machinery"knewwhattodo."OK.That'soneforone,"Isaid."Yawannakeepongoin'?"Theotherguybackedoffandleft.WewouldhavekilledeachotheriftheotherguywasasdumbasIwas.

Iwenttowashup,myhandsareshaking,bloodisleakingoutofmygums--I'vegotaweakplaceinmygums--andmyeyehurt.AfterIcalmeddownIwentbackintothebarandswaggereduptothebartender:"BlackandWhite,waterontheside,"Isaid.Ifigureditwouldcalmmynerves.Ididn'trealizeit,buttheguyIsockedinthemen'sroomwasoverinanotherpartofthebar,talkingwiththreeotherguys.Soonthesethreeguys--big,toughguys--cameovertowhereIwassittingandleanedoverme.Theylookeddownthreateningly,andsaid,"What'stheideaofpickin'afightwithourfriend?"WellI'msodumbIdon'trealizeI'mbeingintimidated;allIknowisrightandwrong.Isimplywhiparoundandsnapatthem,"Whydon'tyafind

outwhostartedwhatfirst,beforeyastartmakin'trouble?"Thebigguysweresotakenabackbythefactthattheirintimidationdidn'tworkthattheybackedawayandleft.Afterawhileoneoftheguyscamebackandsaidtome,"You'reright,Curly'salwaysdoin'that.He'salwaysgettin'intofightsandaskin'ustostraightenitout.""You'redamntootin'I'mright!"Isaid,andtheguysatdownnexttome.Curlyandtheothertwofellascameoverandsatdownontheothersideofme,twoseatsaway.Curlysaidsomethingaboutmyeyenotlookingtoogood,andIsaidhisdidn'tlooktobeinthebestofshapeeither.Icontinuetalkingtough,becauseIfigurethat'sthewayarealmanissupposedtoactinabar.Thesituation'sgettingtighterandtighter,andpeopleinthebarareworryingaboutwhat'sgoingtohappen.Thebartendersays,"Nofightinginhere,boys!Calmdown!"Curlyhisses,"That'sOK;we'llget'imwhenhegoesOut."Thenageniuscomesby.Everyfieldhasitsfirst-rateexperts.Thisfellacomesovertomeandsays,"Hey,Dan!Ididn'tknowyouwereintown!It'sgoodtoseeyou!"ThenhesaystoCurly,"Say,Paul!I'dlikeyoutomeetagoodfriendofmine,Dan,here.Ithinkyoutwoguyswouldlikeeachother.Whydon'tyoushake?"Weshakehands.Curlysays,"Uh,pleasedtomeetyou."Thenthegeniusleansovertomeandveryquietlywhispers,"Nowgetoutofherefast!""Buttheysaidtheywould...""Justgo!"hesays.Igotmycoatandwentoutquickly.Iwalkedalongnearthewallsofthebuildings,incasetheywentlookingforme.Nobodycameout,andIwenttomyhotel.Ithappenedtobethenightofthelastlecture,soIneverwentbacktotheAlibiRoom,atleastforafewyears.(IdidgobacktotheAlibiRoomabouttenyearslater,anditwasalldifferent.Itwasn'tniceandpolishedlikeitwasbefore;itwassleazyandhad

seedy-lookingpeopleinit.Italkedtothebartender,whowasadifferentman,andtoldhimabouttheolddays."Oh,yes!"hesaid."Thiswasthebarwhereallthebookmakersandtheirgirlsusedtohangout."Iunderstoodthenwhythereweresomanyfriendlyandelegant-lookingpeoplethere,andwhythephoneswereringingallthetime.)Thenextmorning,whenIgotupandlookedinthemirror,Idiscoveredthatablackeyetakesafewhourstodevelopfully.WhenIgotbacktoIthacathatday,Iwenttodeliversomestuffovertothedean'soffice.Aprofessorofphilosophysawmyblackeyeandexclaimed,"Oh,Mr.Feynman!Don'ttellmeyougotthatwalkingintoadoor?""Notatall,"Isaid."Igotitinafightinthemen'sroomofabarinBuffalo.""Ha,ha,ha!"helaughed.Thentherewastheproblemofgivingthelecturetomyregularclass.Iwalkedintothelecturehallwithmyheaddown,studyingmynotes.WhenIwasreadytostart,Iliftedmyheadandlookedstraightatthem,andsaidwhatIalwayssaidbeforeIbeganmylecture-butthistime,inatoughertoneofvoice:"Anyquestions?"

IWantMyDollar!WhenIwasatCornellIwouldoftencomebackhometoFarRockawaytovisit.OnetimewhenIhappenedtobehome,thetelephonerings:it'sLONGDISTANCE,fromCalifornia.Inthosedays,alongdistancecallmeantitwassomethingveryimportant,especiallyalongdistancecallfromthismarvelousplace,California,amillionmilesaway.Theguyontheotherendsays,"IsthisProfessorFeynman,ofCornellUniversity?""That'sright.""ThisisMr.So-and-sofromtheSuch-and-suchAircraftCompany."ItwasoneofthebigairplanecompaniesinCalifornia,butunfortunatelyIcan'trememberwhichone.Theguycontinues:"We'replanningtostartalaboratoryonnuclear-propelledrocketairplanes.Itwillhaveanannualbudgetofso-and-so-manymilliondollars..."Bignumbers.Isaid,"Justamoment,sir;Idon'tknowwhyyou'retellingmeallthis."

"Justletmespeaktoyou,"hesays;"justletmeexplaineverything.Pleaseletmedoitmyway."Sohegoesonalittlemore,andsayshowmanypeoplearegoingtobeinthelaboratory,so-and-so-manypeopleatthislevel,andso-and-somanyPh.D'satthatlevel..."Excuseme,sir,"Isay,"butIthinkyouhavethewrongfella.""AmItalkingtoRichardFeynman,RichardP.Feynman?""Yes,butyou're.."WouldyoupleaseletmepresentwhatIhavetosay,sir,andthenwe'lldiscussit.""Allright!"Isitdownandsortofclosemyeyestolistentoallthisstuff,allthesedetailsaboutthisbigproject,andIstillhaven'ttheslightestideawhyhe'sgivingmeallthisinformation,Finally,whenhe'sallfinished,hesays,"I'mtellingyouaboutourplansbecausewewanttoknowifyouwouldliketobethedirectorofthelaboratory.""Haveyoureallygottherightfella?"Isay."I'maprofessoroftheoreticalphysics.I'mnotarocketengineer,oranairplaneengineer,oranythinglikethat.""We'resurewehavetherightfellow.'"Wheredidyougetmynamethen?Whydidyoudecidetocallme?""Sir,yournameisonthepatentfornuclear-powered,rocket-propelledairplanes.""Oh,"Isaid,andIrealizedwhymynamewasonthepatent,andI'llhavetotellyouthestory.Itoldtheman,"I'msorry,butIwouldliketocontinueasaprofessoratCornellUniversity."Whathadhappenedwas,duringthewar,atLosAlamos,therewasaverynicefellainchargeofthepatentofficeforthegovernment,namedCaptainSmith.Smithsentaroundanoticetoeverybodythatsaidsomethinglike,"WeinthepatentofficewouldliketopatenteveryideayouhavefortheUnitedStatesgovernment,forwhichyouareworkingnow.Anyideayouhaveonnuclearenergyoritsapplicationthatyoumaythinkeverybodyknowsabout,everybodydoesn'tknowabout:Justcometomyofficeandtellmetheidea."IseeSmithatlunch,andaswe'rewalkingbacktothetechnicalarea,Isaytohim,"Thatnoteyousentaround:That'skindofcrazytohaveus

comeinandtellyoueveryidea."Wediscusseditbackandforth--bythistimewe'reinhisoffice-andIsay,"Therearesomanyideasaboutnuclearenergythataresoperfectlyobvious,thatI'dbeherealldaytellingyoustuff.""LIKEWHAT?""Nothin'toit!"Isay."Example:nuclearreactor...underwater..watergoesin...steamgoesouttheotherside...Pshshshsht--it'sasubmarine.Or:nuclearreactor...aircomesrushinginthefront...heatedupbynuclearreaction...outthebackitgoes...Boom!Throughtheair--it'sanairplane.Or:nuclearreactor..youhavehydrogengothroughthething...Zoom!--it'sarocket.Or:nuclearreactor...onlyinsteadofusingordinaryuranium,youuseenricheduraniumwithberylliumoxideathightemperaturetomakeitmoreefficient...It'sanelectricalpowerplant.There'samillionideas!"Isaid,asIwentoutthedoor.Nothinghappened.Aboutthreemonthslater,Smithcallsmeintheofficeandsays,"Feynman,thesubmarinehasalreadybeentaken.Buttheotherthreeareyours."SowhentheguysattheairplanecompanyinCaliforniaareplanningtheirlaboratory,andtrytofindoutwho'sanexpertinrocket-propelledwhatnots,there'snothingtoit:Theylookatwho'sgotthepatentonit!Anyway,SmithtoldmetosignsomepapersforthethreeideasIwasgivingtothegovernmenttopatent.Now,itSsomedopeylegalthing,butwhenyougivethepatenttothegovernment,thedocumentyousignisnotalegaldocumentunlessthere'ssomeexchange,sothepaperIsignedsaid,"Forthesumofonedollar,I,RichardP.Feynman,givethisideatothegovernment..."Isignthepaper."Where'smydollar?""That'sjustaformality,"hesays."Wehaven'tgotanyfundssetuptogiveadollar."

"You'vegotitallsetupthatI'msigningforthedollar,"Isay."Iwantmydollar!""Thisissilly,"Smithprotests.

"No,it'snot,"Isay."It'salegaldocument,Youmademesignit,andI'manhonestman.There'snofoolingaroundaboutit.""Allright,allright!"hesays,exasperated."I'llgiveyouadollar,frommypocket!""OK."Itakethedollar,andIrealizewhatI'mgoingtodo.Igodowntothegrocerystore,andIbuyadollar'sworth--whichwasprettygood,then--ofcookiesandgoodies,thosechocolategoodieswithmarshmallowinside,awholelotofstuff.Icomebacktothetheoreticallaboratory,andIgivethemout:"Igotaprize,everybody!Haveacookie!Igotaprize!Adollarformypatent!Igotadollarformypatent!"Everybodywhohadoneofthosepatents--alotofpeoplehadbeensendingthemin--everybodycomesdowntoCaptainSmith:theywanttheirdollar!Hestartsshellingthemoutofhispocket,butsoonrealizesthatit'sgoingtoheahemorrhage!Hewentcrazytryingtosetupafundwherehecouldgetthedollarstheseguyswereinsistingon.Idon'tknowhowhesettledup.

YouJustAskThem?WhenIwasfirstatCornellIcorrespondedwithagirlIhadmetinNewMexicowhileIwasworkingonthebomb.Igottothinking,whenshementionedsomeotherfellasheknew,thatIhadbettergoouttherequicklyattheendoftheschoolyearandtrytosavethesituation.ButwhenIgotoutthere,Ifounditwastoolate,soIendedupinamotelinAlbuquerquewithafreesummerandnothingtodo.TheCasaGrandeMotelwasonRoute66,themainhighwaythroughtown.Aboutthreeplacesfurtherdowntheroadtherewasalittlenightclubthathadentertainment.SinceIhadnothingtodo,andsinceIenjoyedwatchingandmeetingpeopleinbars,Iveryoftenwenttothisnightclub.WhenIfirstwentthereIwastalkingwithsomeguyatthebar,andwenoticedawholetablefullofniceyoungladies--TWAhostesses,Ithinktheywere-whowerehavingsomesortofbirthdayparty.Theotherguysaid,"Comeon,let'sgetupournerveandaskthemtodance."Soweaskedtwoofthemtodance,andafterwardstheyinvitedustositwiththeothergirlsatthetable.Afterafewdrinks,thewaitercamearound:"Anybodywantanything?"

Ilikedtoimitatebeingdrunk,soalthoughIwascompletelysober,IturnedtothegirlI'dbeendancingwithandaskedherinadrunkenvoice,"YaWANanything?""Whatcanwehave?"sheasks."Annnnnnnnnnnnythingyouwant--ANYTHING!""Allright!We'llhavechampagne!"shesayshappily.SoIsayinaloudvoicethateverybodyinthebarcanhear,"OK!Ch-ch-champagneforevvverybody!"ThenIhearmyfriendtalkingtomygirl,sayingwhatadirtytrickitisto"takeallthatdoughfromhimbecausehe'sdrunk,"andI'mbeginningtothinkmaybeImadeamistake.Well,nicelyenough,thewaitercomesovertome,leansdown,andsaysinalowvoice,"Sir,that'ssixteendollarsabottle."Idecidetodroptheideaofchampagneforeverybody,soIsayinanevenloudervoicethanbefore,"NEVERMIND!"Iwasthereforequitesurprisedwhen,afewmomentslater,thewaitercamebacktothetablewithallhisfancystuff--awhitetoweloverhisarm,atrayfullofglasses,anicebucketfullofice,andabottleofchampagne.HethoughtImeant,"Nevermindtheprice,"whenImeant,"Nevermindthechampagne!"Thewaiterservedchampagnetoeverybody,Ipaidoutthesixteendollars,andmyfriendwasmadatmygirlbecausehethoughtshehadgotmetopayallthisdough.ButasfarasIwasconcerned,thatwastheendofit--thoughitturnedoutlatertobethebeginningofanewadventure.Iwenttothatnightclubquiteoftenandastheweekswentby,theentertainmentchanged.TheperformerswereonacircuitthatwentthroughAmarilloandalotofotherplacesinTexas,andGodknowswhereelse.Therewasalsoapermanentsingerwhowasatthenightclub,whosenamewasTamara.Everytimeanewgroupofperformerscametotheclub,Tamarawouldintroducemetooneofthegirlsfromthegroup.Thegirlwouldcomeandsitdownwithmeatmytable,Iwouldbuyheradrink,andwe'dtalk.OfcourseIwouldhavelikedtodomorethanjusttalk,buttherewasalwayssomethingthematteratthelastminute.SoIcouldneverunderstandwhyTamaraalwayswenttothetroubleofintroducingmetoallthesenicegirls,andthen,eventhoughthingswouldstartoutallright,Iwouldalwaysendupbuyingdrinks,spendingtheeveningtalking,butthatwasit.Myfriend,whodidn'thavetheadvantageofTamara'sintroductions,wasn'tgettinganywhereeither--wewerebothclunks.

Afterafewweeksofdifferentshowsanddifferentgirls,anewshowcame,andasusualTamaraintroducedmetoagirlfromthegroup,andwewentthroughtheusualthing--I'mbuyingherdrinks,we'retalking,andshe'sbeingverynice.Shewentanddidhershow,andafterwardsshecamebacktomeatmytable,andIfeltprettygood.Peoplewouldlookaroundandthink,"What'shegotthatmakesthisgirlcometohim?"Butthen,atsomestagenearthecloseoftheevening,shesaidsomethingthatbythistimeIhadheardmanytimesbefore:"I'dliketohaveyoucomeovertomyroomtonight,butwe'rehavingaparty,soperhapstomorrownight..."--andIknewwhatthis"perhapstomorrownight"meant:NOTHING.Well,Inoticedthroughouttheeveningthatthisgirl--hernamewasGloria--talkedquiteoftenwiththemasterofceremonies,duringtheshow,andonherwaytoandfromtheladies'room.Soonetime,whenshewasintheladies'roomandthemasterofceremonieshappenedtobewalkingnearmytable,Iimpulsivelytookaguessandsaidtohim,"Yourwifeisaverynicewoman."Hesaid,"Yes,thankyou,"andwestartedtotalkalittle.Hefiguredshehadtoldme.AndwhenGloriareturned,shefiguredhehadtoldme.Sotheybothtalkedtomealittlebit,andinvitedmetogoovertotheirplacethatnightafterthebarclosed.Attwoo'clockinthemorningIwentovertotheirmotelwiththem.Therewasn'tanyparty,ofcourse,andwetalkedalongtime.TheyshowedmeaphotoalbumwithpicturesofGloriawhenherhusbandfirstmetherinIowa,acornfed,ratherfattish-lookingwoman;thenotherpicturesofherasshereduced,andnowshelookedreallynifty!Hehadtaughtherallkindsofstuff,buthecouldn'treadorwrite,whichwasespeciallyinterestingbecausehehadthejob,asmasterofceremonies,ofreadingthenamesoftheactsandtheperformerswhowereintheamateurcontest,andIhadn'tevennoticedthathecouldn'treadwhathewas"reading"!(ThenextnightIsawwhattheydid.Whileshewasbringingapersononoroffthestage,sheglancedattheslipofpaperinhishandandwhisperedthenamesofthenextperformersandthetitleoftheacttohimasshewentby.)Theywereaveryinteresting,friendlycouple,andwehadmanyinterestingconversations.Irecalledhowwehadmet,andIaskedthemwhyTamarawasalwaysintroducingthenewgirlstome.Gloriareplied,"WhenTamarawasabouttointroducemetoyou,shesaid,'NowI'mgoingtointroduceyoutotherealspenderaroundhere!'IhadtothinkamomentbeforeIrealizedthatthesixteen-dollarbottleofchampagneboughtwithsuchavigorousandmisunderstood"nevermind!"turnedouttobeagoodinvestment.Iapparentlyhadthereputationofbeingsomekindofeccentricwhoalwayscameinnotdressedup,notin

aneatsuit,butalwaysreadytospendlotsofmoneyonthegirls.

EventuallyItoldthemthatIwasstruckbysomething:"I'mfairlyintelligent,"Isaid,"butprobablyonlyaboutphysics.Butinthatbartherearelotsofintelligentguys--oilguys,mineralguys,importantbusinessmen,andsoforth--andallthetimethey'rebuyingthegirlsdrinks,andtheygetnothin'forit!"(BythistimeIhaddecidedthatnobodyelsewasgettinganythingoutofallthosedrinkseither.)"Howisitpossible,"Iasked,"thatan'intelligent'guycanbesuchagoddamnfoolwhenhegetsintoabar?"Themastersaid,"ThisIknowallabout.Iknowexactlyhowitallworks.Iwillgiveyoulessons,sothathereafteryoucangetsomethingfromagirlinabarlikethis.ButbeforeIgiveyouthelessons,ImustdemonstratethatIreallyknowwhatI'mtalkingabout.Sotodothat,Gloriawillgetamantobuyyouachampagnecocktail."Isay,"OK,"thoughI'mthinking,"Howthehellaretheygonnadoit?"Themastercontinued:"Nowyoumustdoexactlyaswetellyou.TomorrownightyoushouldsitsomedistancefromGloriainthebar,andwhenshegivesyouasign,allyouhavetodoiswalkby.""Yes,"saysGloria."It'llbeeasy."ThenextnightIgotothebarandsitinthecorner,whereIcankeepmyeyeonGloriafromadistance.Afterawhile,sureenough,there'ssomeguysittingwithher,andafteralittlewhilelongertheguy'shappyandGloriagivesmeawink.Igetupandnonchalantlysaunterby.JustasI'mpassing,Gloriaturnsaroundandsaysinarealfriendlyandbrightvoice,"Oh,hi,Dick!Whendidyougetbackintotown?Wherehaveyoubeen?"Atthismomenttheguyturnsaroundtoseewhothis"Dick"is,andIcanseeinhiseyessomethingIunderstandcompletely,sinceIhavebeeninthatpositionsooftenmyself.Firstlook:"Oh-oh,competitioncomingup.He'sgonnatakeherawayfrommeafterIboughtheradrink!What'sgonnahappen?"Nextlook:"No,it'sjustacasualfriend.Theyseemtoknoweachotherfromsometimeback."Icouldseeallthis.Icouldreaditonhisface.Iknewexactlywhathewasgoingthrough.Gloriaturnstohimandsays,"Jim,I'dlikeyoutomeetanoldfriendofmine,DickFeynman."

Nextlook:"IknowwhatI'lldo;I'llbekindtothisguysothatshe'lllikememore."Jimturnstomeandsays,"Hi,Dick.Howaboutadrink?""Fine!"Isay."What'llyahave?""Whatevershe'shaving.""Bartender,anotherchampagnecocktail,please."Soitwaseasy;therewasnothingtoit.ThatnightafterthebarclosedIwentagainovertothemasterandGloria'smotel.Theywerelaughingandsmiling,happywithhowitworkedout."Allright,"Isaid,"I'mabsolutelyconvincedthatyoutwoknowexactlywhatyou'retalkingabout.Now,whataboutthelessons?""OK,"hesays."Thewholeprincipleisthis:Theguywantstobeagentleman.Hedoesn'twanttobethoughtofasimpolite,crude,orespeciallyacheapskate.Aslongasthegirlknowstheguy'smotivessowell,it'seasytosteerhiminthedirectionshewantshimtogo."Therefore,"hecontinued,"undernocircumstancesbeagentleman!Youmustdisrespectthegirls.Furthermore,theveryfirstruleis,don'tbuyagirlanything--notevenapackageofcigarettes--untilyou'veaskedherifshe'llsleepwithyou,andyou'reconvincedthatshewill,andthatshe'snotlying.""Uh...youmean...youdon't...uh...youjustaskthem?""OK,"hesays,"Iknowthisisyourfirstlesson,anditmaybehardforyoutobesoblunt.Soyoumightbuyheronething--justonelittlesomething--beforeyouask.Butontheotherhand,itwillonlymakeitmoredifficult."Well,someoneonlyhastogivemetheprinciple,andIgettheidea.AllduringthenextdayIbuiltupmypsychologydifferently:Iadoptedtheattitudethatthosebargirlsareallbitches,thattheyaren'tworthanything,andallthey'reinthereforistogetyoutobuythemadrink,andthey'renotgoingtogiveyouagoddamnthing;I'mnotgoingtobeagentlemantosuchworthlessbitches,andsoon.Ilearnedittillitwasautomatic.ThenthatnightIwasreadytotryitout.Igointothebarasusual,andrightawaymyfriendsays,"Hey,Dick!Wait'llyouseethegirlIgottonight!Shehadtogochangeherclothes,butshe'scomingrightback."

"Yeah,yeah,"Isay,unimpressed,andIsitatanothertabletowatchtheshow.Myfriend'sgirlcomesinjustastheshowstarts,andI'mthinking,"Idon'tgiveadamnhowprettysheis;allshe'sdoingisgettinghimtobuyherdrinks,andshe'sgoingtogivehimnothing!"Afterthefirstactmyfriendsays,"Hey,Dick!IwantyoutomeetAnn.Ann,thisisagoodfriendofmine,DickFeynman."Isay"Hi"andkeeplookingattheshow.AfewmomentslaterAnnsaystome,"Whydon'tyoucomeandsitatthetableherewithus?"Ithinktomyself,"Typicalbitch:he'sbuyingherdrinks,andshe'sinvitingsomebodyelsetothetable."Isay,"Icanseefinefromhere."Alittlewhilelateralieutenantfromthemilitarybasenearbycomesin,dressedinaniceuniform.Itisn'tlongbeforewenoticethatAnnissittingoverontheothersideofthebarwiththelieutenant!

LaterthateveningI'msittingatthebar,Annisdancingwiththelieutenant,andwhenthelieutenant'sbackistowardmeandshe'sfacingme,shesmilesverypleasantlytome.Ithinkagain,"Somebitch!Nowshe'sdoingthistrickonthelieutenanteven!"ThenIgetagoodidea:Idon'tlookatheruntilthelieutenantcanalsoseeme,andthenIsmilebackather,sothelieutenantwillknowwhat'sgoingon.Sohertrickdidn'tworkforlong.Afewminuteslatershe'snotwiththelieutenantanymore,butaskingthebartenderforhercoatandhandbag,sayinginaloud,obviousvoice,"I'dliketogoforawalk.Doesanybodywanttogoforawalkwithme?"Ithinktomyself,"Youcankeepsayingnoandpushingthemoff,butyoucan'tdoitpermanently,oryouwon'tgetanywhere.Therecomesatimewhenyouhavetogoalong."SoIsaycoolly,"I'llwalkwithyou."Sowegoout.Wewalkdownthestreetafewblocksandseeacaf�,andshesays,"I'vegotanidea--let'sgetsomecoffeeandsandwiches,andgoovertomyplaceandeatthem."Theideasoundsprettygood,sowegointothecaf�andsheordersthreecoffeesandthreesandwichesandIpayforthem.Aswe'regoingoutofthecaf�,Ithinktomyself,"Something'swrong:toomanysandwiches!"Onthewaytohermotelshesays,"Youknow,Iwon'thavetimetoeatthesesandwicheswithyou,becausealieutenantiscomingover..Ithinktomyself,"See,Iflunked.Themastergavemealessononwhattodo,andIflunked.Iboughther$1.10worthofsandwiches,andhadn't

askedheranything,andnowIknowI'mgonnagetnothing!Ihavetorecover,ifonlyfortheprideofmyteacher."IstopsuddenlyandIsaytoher,"You...areworsethanaWHORE!""Whaddyamean?""Yougotmetobuythesesandwiches,andwhatamIgoingtogetforit?Nothing!""Well,youcheapskate!"shesays."Ifthat'sthewayyoufeel,I'llpayyoubackforthesandwiches!"Icalledherbluff:"Paymeback,then."Shewasastonished.Shereachedintoherpocketbook,tookoutthelittlebitofmoneythatshehadandgaveittome.Itookmysandwichandcoffeeandwentoff.AfterIwasthrougheating,Iwentbacktothebartoreporttothemaster.Iexplainedeverything,andtoldhirnIwassorrythatIflunked,butItriedtorecover.Hesaidverycalmly,"It'sOK,Dick;it'sallright.Sinceyouendedupnotbuyingheranything,she'sgonnasleepwithyoutonight.""What?""That'sright,"hesaidconfidently;"she'sgonnasleepwithyou.Iknowthat.""Butsheisn'tevenhere!She'satherplacewiththelieu--""It'sallright."Twoo'clockcomesaround,thebarcloses,andAnnhasn'tappeared.IaskthemasterandhiswifeifIcancomeovertotheirplaceagain.Theysaysure.Justaswe'recomingoutofthebar,herecomesAnn,runningacrossRoute66towardme.Sheputsherarminmine,andsays,"Comeon,let'sgoovertomyplace.Themasterwasright.Sothelessonwasterrific!WhenIwasbackatCornellinthefall,Iwasdancingwiththesisterofagradstudent,whowasvisitingfromVirginia.Shewasverynice,andsuddenlyIgotthisidea:"Let'sgotoabarandhaveadrink,"Isaid.

OnthewaytothebarIwasworkingupnervetotrythemaster'slessononanordinarygirl.Afterall,youdon'tfeelsobaddisrespectingabargirlwho'stryingtogetyoutobuyherdrinks--butanice,ordinary,Southerngirl?Wewentintothebar,andbeforeIsatdown,Isaid,"Listen,beforeIbuyyouadrink,Iwanttoknowonething:Willyousleepwithmetonight?""Yes."Soitworkedevenwithanordinarygirl!Butnomatterhoweffectivethelessonwas,Ineverreallyuseditafterthat.Ididn'tenjoydoingitthatway.ButitwasinterestingtoknowthatthingsworkedmuchdifferentlyfromhowIwasbroughtup.

LuckyNumbersOnedayatPrincetonIwassittingintheloungeandoverheardsomemathematicianstalkingabouttheseriesfore^x,whichis1+x+x^2/2!+x^3/3!Eachtermyougetbymultiplyingtheprecedingtermbyxanddividingbythenextnumber.Forexample,togetthenexttermafterx^4/4!youmultiplythattermbyxanddivideby5.It'sverysimple.WhenIwasakidIwasexcitedbyseries,andhadplayedwiththisthing.Ihadcomputedeusingthatseries,andhadseenhowquicklythenewtermsbecameverysmall.Imumbledsomethingabouthowitwaseasytocalculateetoanypowerusingthatseries(youjustsubstitutethepowerforx)."Ohyeah?"theysaid."Well,thenwhat'setothe3.3?"saidsomejoker--IthinkitwasTukey.Isay,"That'seasy.It's27.11."Tukeyknowsitisn'tsoeasytocomputeallthatinyourhead."Hey!How'dyoudothat?"Anotherguysays,"YouknowFeynman,he'sjustfakingit.It'snotreallyright."Theygotogetatable,andwhilethey'redoingthat,Iputonafewmorefigures.:"27.1126,"Isay.Theyfinditinthetable."It'sright!Buthow'dyoudoit!""Ijustsummedtheseries.""Nobodycansumtheseriesthatfast.Youmustjusthappentoknowthatone.Howaboutetothe3?"

"Look,"Isay."It'shardwork!Onlyoneaday!""Hah!It'safake!"theysay,happily."Allright,"Isay,"It's20.085."TheylookinthebookasIputafewmorefigureson.They'reallexcitednow,becauseIgotanotheroneright.Herearethesegreatmathematiciansoftheday,puzzledathowIcancomputeetoanypower!Oneofthemsays,"Hejustcan'tbesubstitutingandsumming--it'stoohard.There'ssometrick.Youcouldn'tdojustanyoldnumberlikeetothe1.4."Isay,"It'shardwork,butforyou,OK.It's4.05."Asthey'relookingitup,Iputonafewmoredigitsandsay,"Andthat'sthelastonefortheday!"andwalkout.Whathappenedwasthis:Ihappenedtoknowthreenumbers--thelogarithmof10tothebasee(neededtoconvertnumbersfrombase10tobasee),whichis2.3026(soIknewthatetothe2.3isverycloseto10),andbecauseofradioactivity(mean-lifeandhalf-life),Iknewthelogof2tothebasee,whichis.69315(soIalsoknewthatetothe.7isnearlyequalto2).Ialsoknewe(tothe1),whichis2.71828.Thefirstnumbertheygavemewasetothe3.3,whichisetothe2.3--ten--timese,or27.18.WhiletheyweresweatingabouthowIwasdoingit,Iwascorrectingfortheextra.0026--2.3026isalittlehigh.IknewIcouldn'tdoanotherone;thatwassheerluck.Butthentheguysaidetothe3:that'setothe2.3timesetothe.7,ortentimestwo.SoIknewitwas20.something,andwhiletheywereworryinghowIdidit,Iadjustedforthe.693.NowIwassureIcouldn'tdoanotherone,becausethelastonewasagainbysheerluck.Buttheguysaidetothe1.4,whichisetothe.7timesitself.SoallIhadtodoisfixup4alittlebit!TheyneverdidfigureouthowIdidit.WhenIwasatLosAlamosIfoundoutthatHansBethewasabsolutelytopnotchatcalculating.Forexample,onetimewewereputtingsomenumbersintoaformula,andgotto48squared.IreachfortheMarchantcalculator,andhesays,"That's2300."Ibegintopushthebuttons,andhesays,"Ifyouwantitexactly,it's2304."Themachinesays2304."Gee!That'sprettyremarkable!"Isay.

"Don'tyouknowhowtosquarenumbersnear50?"hesays."Yousquare50--that's2500--andsubtract100timesthedifferenceofyournumberfrom50(inthiscaseit's2),soyouhave2300.Ifyouwantthecorrection,squarethedifferenceandadditon.Thatmakes2304."Afewminuteslaterweneedtotakethecuberootof2�.NowtotakecuberootsontheMarchantyouhadtouseatableforthefirstapproximation.Iopenthedrawertogetthetable--ittakesalittlelongerthistime--andhesays,"It'sabout1.35."ItryitoutontheMarchantandit'sright."Howdidyoudothatone?"Iask."Doyouhaveasecretfortakingcuberootsofnumbers?""Oh,"hesays,"thelogof2�isso-and-so.Nowonethirdofthatlogisbetweenthelogsof1.3,whichisthis,and1.4,whichisthat,soIinterpolated."SoIfoundoutsomething:first,heknowsthelogtables;second,theamountofarithmetichedidtomaketheinterpolationalonewouldhavetakenmelongertodothanreachforthetableandpunchthebuttonsonthecalculator.Iwasveryimpressed.Afterthat,Itriedtodothosethings.Imemorizedafewlogs,andbegantonoticethings.Forinstance,ifsomebodysays,"Whatis28squared?"younoticethatthesquarerootof2is1.4,and28is20times1.4,sothesquareof28mustbearound400times2,or800.

Ifsomebodycomesalongandwantstodivide1by1.73,youcantellthemimmediatelythatit's.577,becauseyounoticethat1.73isnearlythesquarerootof3,so1/1.73mustbeone-thirdofthesquarerootof3.Andifit's'/1.75,that'sequaltotheinverseof7/4,andyou'vememorizedtherepeatingdecimalsforsevenths:.571428.Ihadalotoffuntryingtodoarithmeticfast,bytricks,withHans.ItwasveryrarethatI'dseesomethinghedidn'tseeandbeathimtotheanswer,andhe'dlaughhisheartylaughwhenI'dgetone.Hewasnearlyalwaysabletogettheanswertoanyproblemwithinapercent.Itwaseasyforhim--everynumberwasnearsomethingheknew.OnedayIwasfeelingmyoats.Itwaslunchtimeinthetechnicalarea,andIdon'tknowhowIgottheidea,butIannounced,"Icanworkoutinsixtysecondstheanswertoanyproblemthatanybodycanstateintenseconds,to10percent!"Peoplestartedgivingmeproblemstheythoughtweredifficult,suchasintegratingafunctionlike1/(1+x),whichhardlychangedovertherangetheygaveme.Thehardestonesomebodygavemewasthebinomialcoefficientofx^10in(1+x)^20;Igotthatjustintime.

TheywereallgivingmeproblemsandIwasfeelinggreat,whenPaulOlumwalkedbyinthehall.PaulhadworkedwithmeforawhileatPrincetonbeforecomingouttoLosAlamos,andhewasalwaysclevererthanIwas.Forinstance,onedayIwasabsent-mindedlyplayingwithoneofthosemeasuringtapesthatsnapbackintoyourhandwhenyoupushabutton.Thetapewouldalwaysslapoverandhitmyhand,andithurtalittlebit."Geez!"Iexclaimed."WhatadopeIam.Ikeepplayingwiththisthing,andithurtsmeeverytime."Hesaid,"Youdon'tholditright,"andtookthedamnthing,pulledoutthetape,pushedthebutton,anditcamerightback.Nohurt."Wow!Howdoyoudothat?"Iexclaimed."Figureitout!"ForthenexttwoweeksI'mwalkingallaroundPrinceton,snappingthistapebackuntilmyhandisabsolutelyrawFinallyIcan'ttakeitanylonger."Paul!Igiveup!Howthehelldoyouholditsoitdoesn'thurt?""Whosaysitdoesn'thurt?Ithurtsmetoo!"Ifeltsostupid.Hehadgottenmetogoaroundandhurtmyhandfortwoweeks!SoPauliswalkingpastthelunchplaceandtheseguysareallexcited."Hey,Paul!"theycallout."Feynman'sterrific!Wegivehimaproblemthatcanbestatedintenseconds,andinaminutehegetstheanswerto10percent.Whydon'tyougivehimone?"Withouthardlystopping,hesays,"Thetangentof10tothe100th."Iwassunk:youhavetodividebypito100decimalplaces!Itwashopeless.OnetimeIboasted,"Icandobyothermethodsanyintegralanybodyelseneedscontourintegrationtodo."SoPaulputsupthistremendousdamnintegralhehadobtainedbystartingoutwithacomplexfunctionthatheknewtheanswerto,takingouttherealpartofitandleavingonlythecomplexpart.Hehadunwrappeditsoitwasonlypossiblebycontourintegration!Hewasalwaysdeflatingmelikethat.Hewasaverysmartfellow.ThefirsttimeIwasinBrazilIwaseatinganoonmealatIdon'tknowwhattime--Iwasalwaysintherestaurantsatthewrongtime--andIwastheonlycustomerintheplace.Iwaseatingricewithsteak(whichIloved),andtherewereaboutfourwaitersstandingaround.AJapanesemancameintotherestaurant.Ihadseenhimbefore,wanderingaround;hewastryingtosellabacuses.Hestartedtotalktothe

waiters,andchallengedthem:Hesaidhecouldaddnumbersfasterthananyofthemcoulddo.Thewaitersdidn'twanttoloseface,sotheysaid,"Yeah,yeah.Whydon'tyougooverandchallengethecustomeroverthere?"Themancameover.Iprotested,"ButIdon'tspeakPortuguesewell!"Thewaiterslaughed."Thenumbersareeasy,"theysaid.Theybroughtmeapencilandpaper.Themanaskedawaitertocalloutsomenumberstoadd.Hebeatmehollow,becausewhileIwaswritingthenumbersdown,hewasalreadyaddingthemashewentalong.Isuggestedthatthewaiterwritedowntwoidenticallistsofnumbersandhandthemtousatthesametime.Itdidn'tmakemuchdifference.Hestillbeatmebyquiteabit.However,themangotalittlebitexcited:hewantedtoprovehimselfsomemore."Multiplicao!"hesaid.Somebodywrotedownaproblem.Hebeatmeagain,butnotbymuch,becauseI'mprettygoodatproducts.Themanthenmadeamistake:heproposedwegoontodivision.Whathedidn'trealizewas,thehardertheproblem,thebetterchanceIhad.Webothdidalongdivisionproblem.Itwasatie.ThisbotheredthehelloutoftheJapaneseman,becausehewasapparentlyverywelltrainedontheabacus,andherehewasalmostbeatenbythiscustomerinarestaurant."Raioscubicos!"hesays,withavengeance.Cuberoots!Hewantstodocuberootsbyarithmetic!It'shardtofindamoredifficultfundamentalprobleminarithmetic.Itmusthavebeenhistopnotchexerciseinabacus-land.Hewritesanumberonsomepaper--anyoldnumber--andIstillrememberit:1729.03.Hestartsworkingonit,mumblingandgrumbling:"Mmmmmmagmmmmbrrr"--he'sworkinglikeademon!He'sporingaway,doingthiscuberoot.

MeanwhileI'mjustsittingthere.Oneofthewaiterssays,"Whatareyoudoing?"

Ipointtomyhead."Thinking!"Isay.Iwritedown12onthepaper.AfteralittlewhileI'vegot12.002.Themanwiththeabacuswipesthesweatoffhisforehead:"Twelve!"hesays."Oh,no!"Isay."Moredigits!Moredigits!"Iknowthatintakingacuberootbyarithmetic,eachnewdigitisevenmoreworkthantheonebefore.It'sahardjob.Heburieshimselfagain,grunting,"Rrrrgrrrrmmmmmm..."whileIaddontwomoredigits.Hefinallyliftshisheadtosay,"12.0!"Thewaitersareallexcitedandhappy.Theytelltheman,"Look!Hedoesitonlybythinking,andyouneedanabacus!He'sgotmoredigits!"Hewascompletelywashedout,andleft,humiliated.Thewaiterscongratulatedeachother.Howdidthecustomerbeattheabacus?Thenumberwas1729.03.Ihappenedtoknowthatacubicfootcontains1728cubicinches,sotheanswerisatinybitmorethan12.Theexcess,1.03,isonlyonepartinnearly2000,andIhadlearnedincalculusthatforsmallfractions,thecuberoot'sexcessisone-thirdofthenumber'sexcess.SoallIhadtodoisfindthefraction1/1728,andmultiplyby4(divideby3andmultiplyby12).SoIwasabletopulloutawholelotofdigitsthatway.AfewweekslaterthemancameintothecocktailloungeofthehotelIwasstayingat.Herecognizedmeandcameover."Tellme,"hesaid,"howwereyouabletodothatcube-rootproblemsofast?"Istartedtoexplainthatitwasanapproximatemethod,andhadtodowiththepercentageoferror."Supposeyouhadgivenme28.Now,thecuberootof27is3..Hepicksuphisabacus:zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz--"Ohyes,"hesays.Irealizedsomething:hedoesn'tknownumbers.Withtheabacus,youdon'thavetomemorizealotofarithmeticcombinations;allyouhavetodoislearnhowtopushthelittlebeadsupanddown.Youdon'thavetomemorize9+7=16;youjustknowthatwhenyouadd9youpushaten'sbeadupandpullaone'sbeaddown.Sowe'resloweratbasicarithmetic,butweknownumbers.Furthermore,thewholeideaofanapproximatemethodwasbeyondhim,eventhoughacuberootoftencannotbecomputedexactlybyanymethod.SoInevercouldteachhimhowIdidcuberootsorexplainhowluckyIwasthathehappenedtochoose1729.03.

OAmericano,OutraVez!OnetimeIpickedupahitchhikerwhotoldmehowinterestingSouthAmericawas,andthatIoughttogothere.Icomplainedthatthelanguageisdifferent,buthesaidjustgoaheadandlearnit--it'snobigproblem.SoIthought,that'sagoodidea:I'llgotoSouthAmerica.Cornellhadsomeforeignlanguageclasseswhichfollowedamethodusedduringthewar,inwhichsmallgroupsofabouttenstudentsandonenativespeakerspeakonlytheforeignlanguage-nothingelse.SinceIwasaratheryoung-lookingprofessorthereatCornell,IdecidedtotaketheclassasifIwerearegularstudent.AndsinceIdidn'tknowyetwhereIwasgoingtoendupinSouthAmerica,IdecidedtotakeSpanish,becausethegreatmajorityofthecountriestherespeakSpanish.Sowhenitwastimetoregisterfortheclass,wewerestandingoutside,readytogointotheclassroom,whenthispneumaticblondecamealong.Youknowhowonceinawhileyougetthisfeeling,WOW?Shelookedterrific.Isaidtomyself,"Maybeshe'sgoingtobeintheSpanishclass--that'llbegreat!"Butno,shewalkedintothePortugueseclass.SoIfigured,Whatthehell--ImightaswelllearnPortuguese.IstartedwalkingrightafterherwhenthisAnglo-SaxonattitudethatIhavesaid,"No,that'snotagoodreasontodecidewhichlanguagetospeak."SoIwentbackandsignedupfortheSpanishclass,tomyutterregret.SometimelaterIwasataPhysicsSocietymeetinginNewYork,andIfoundmyselfsittingnexttoJaimeTiomno,fromBrazil,andheasked,"Whatareyougoingtodonextsummer?""I'mthinkingofvisitingSouthAmerica.""Oh!Whydon'tyoucometoBrazil?I'llgetapositionforyouattheCenterforPhysicalResearch."SonowIhadtoconvertallthatSpanishintoPortuguese!IfoundaPortuguesegraduatestudentatCornell,andtwiceaweekhegavemelessons,soIwasabletoalterwhatIhadlearned.OntheplanetoBrazilIstartedoutsittingnexttoaguyfromColombiawhospokeonlySpanish:soIwouldn'ttalktohimbecauseIdidn'twanttogetconfusedagain.ButsittinginfrontofmeweretwoguyswhoweretalkingPortuguese.IhadneverheardrealPortuguese;Ihadonlyhadthisteacherwhohadtalkedveryslowlyandclearly.Soherearethesetwoguystalkingabluestreak,brrrrrrr-a-tabrrrrrrr-a-ta,andIcan'tevenhearthewordfor"I,"orthewordfor"the,"oranything.Finally,whenwemadearefuelingstopinTrinidad,IwentuptothetwofellasandsaidveryslowlyinPortuguese,orwhatIthoughtwas

Portuguese,"Excuseme...canyouunderstand...whatIamsayingtoyounow?""Puesn�o,porquen�o?"--"Sure,whynot?"theyreplied.SoIexplainedasbestIcouldthatIhadbeenlearningPortugueseforsomemonthsnow,butIhadneverhearditspokeninconversation,andIwaslisteningtothemontheairplane,butcouldn'tunderstandawordtheyweresaying."Oh,"theysaidwithalaugh,"NaoePortugues!ELad�o!Judeo!"WhattheywerespeakingwastoPortugueseasYiddishistoGerman,soyoucanimagineaguywho'sbeenstudyingGermansittingbehindtwoguystalkingYiddish,tryingtofigureoutwhat'sthematter.It'sobviouslyGerman,butitdoesn'twork.HemustnothavelearnedGermanverywell.Whenwegotbackontheplane,theypointedoutanothermanwhodidspeakPortuguese,soIsatnexttohim.HehadbeenstudyingneurosurgeryinMaryland,soitwasveryeasytotalkwithhim--aslongasitwasaboutcirugianeural,ocerebreu,andothersuch"complicated"things.ThelongwordsareactuallyquiteeasytotranslateintoPortuguesebecausetheonlydifferenceistheirendings:"-tion"inEnglishis"-�ao"inPortuguese;"-ly"is"-mente,"andsoon.Butwhenhelookedoutthewindowandsaidsomethingsimple,Iwaslost:Icouldn'tdecipher"theskyisblue."IgotofftheplaneinRecife(theBraziliangovernmentwasgoingtopaythepartfromRecifetoRio)andwasmetbythefather-in-lawofCesarLattes,whowasthedirectoroftheCenterforPhysicalResearchinRio,hiswife,andanotherman.Asthemenwereoffgettingmyluggage,theladystartedtalkingtomeinPortuguese:"YouspeakPortuguese?Hownice!HowwasitthatyoulearnedPortuguese?"Irepliedslowly,withgreateffort."First,IstartedtolearnSpanish...thenIdiscoveredIwasgoingtoBrazil.NowIwantedtosay,"So,IlearnedPortuguese,"butIcouldn'tthinkofthewordfor"so."IknewhowtomakeBIGwords,though,soIfinishedthesentencelikethis:"CONSEQUENTEMENTE,apprendiPortugues!"Whenthetwomencamebackwiththebaggage,shesaid,"Oh,hespeaksPortuguese!Andwithsuchwonderfulwords:CONSEQUENTEMENTE!"Thenanannouncementcameovertheloudspeaker.TheflighttoRiowascanceled,andtherewouldn'tbeanotheronetillnextTuesday--andIhadtobeinRioonMonday,atthelatest.

Igotallupset."Maybethere'sacargoplane.I'lltravelinacargoplane,"Isaid."Professor!"theysaid,"It'sreallyquitenicehereinRecife.We'llshowyouaround.Whydon'tyourelax--you'reinBrazil."ThateveningIwentforawalkintown,andcameuponasmallcrowdofpeoplestandingaroundagreatbigrectangularholeintheroad--ithadbeendugforsewerpipes,orsomething--andthere,sittingexactlyinthehole,wasacar.Itwasmarvelous:itfittedabsolutelyperfectly,withitsrooflevelwiththeroad.Theworkmenhadn'tbotheredtoputupanysignsattheendoftheday,andtheguyhadsimplydrivenintoit.Inoticedadifference:Whenwe'ddigahole,there'dbeallkindsofdetoursignsandflashinglightstoprotectus.There,theydigthehole,andwhenthey'refinishedfortheday,theyjustleave.Anyway,Recifewasanicetown,andIdidwaituntilnextTuesdaytoflytoRio.WhenIgottoRioImetCesarLattes.ThenationalTVnetworkwantedtomakesomepicturesofourmeeting,sotheystartedfilming,butwithoutanysound.Thecameramensaid,"Actasifyou'retalking.Saysomething--anything."

SoLattesaskedme,"Haveyoufoundasleepingdictionaryyet?"Thatnight,BrazilianTVaudiencessawthedirectoroftheCenterforPhysicalResearchwelcometheVisitingProfessorfromtheUnitedStates,butlittledidtheyknowthatthesubjectoftheirconversationwasfindingagirltospendthenightwith!WhenIgottothecenter,wehadtodecidewhenIwouldgivemylectures--inthemorning,orafternoon.Lattessaid,"Thestudentsprefertheafternoon.""Solet'shavethemintheafternoon.""Butthebeachisniceintheafternoon,sowhydon'tyougivethelecturesinthemorning,soyoucanenjoythebeachintheafternoon.""Butyousaidthestudentsprefertohavethemintheafternoon.""Don'tworryaboutthat.Dowhat'smostconvenientforyou!Enjoythebeachintheafternoon."SoIlearnedhowtolookatlifeinawaythat'sdifferentfromthewayitiswhereIcomefrom.First,theyweren'tinthesamehurrythatIwas.Andsecond,ifit'sbetterforyou,nevermind!SoIgavethelecturesinthemorningandenjoyedthebeachintheafternoon.AndhadIlearnedthat

lessonearlier,IwouldhavelearnedPortugueseinthefirstplace,insteadofSpanish.IthoughtatfirstthatIwouldgivemylecturesinEnglish,butInoticedsomething:WhenthestudentswereexplainingsomethingtomeinPortuguese,Icouldn'tunderstanditverywell,eventhoughIknewacertainamountofPortuguese.Itwasnotexactlycleartomewhethertheyhadsaid"increase,"or"decrease,"or"notincrease,"or"notdecrease,"or"decreaseslowly."ButwhentheystruggledwithEnglish,they'dsay"ahp"or"doon,"andIknewwhichwayitwas,eventhoughthepronunciationwaslousyandthegrammarwasallscrewedup.SoIrealizedthatifIwasgoingtotalktothemandtrytoteachthem,itwouldbebetterformetotalkinPortuguese,poorasitwas.Itwouldbeeasierforthemtounderstand.DuringthatfirsttimeinBrazil,whichlastedsixweeks,IwasinvitedtogiveatalkattheBrazilianAcademyofSciencesaboutsomeworkinquantumelectrodynamicsthatIhadjustdone.IthoughtIwouldgivethetalkinPortuguese,andtwostudentsatthecentersaidtheywouldhelpmewithit.IbeganbywritingoutmytalkinabsolutelylousyPortuguese.Iwroteitmyself,becauseiftheyhadwrittenit,therewouldbetoomanywordsIdidn'tknowandcouldn'tpronouncecorrectly.SoIwroteit,andtheyfixedupallthegrammar,fixedupthewordsandmadeitnice,butitwasstillatthelevelthatIcouldreadeasilyandknowmoreorlesswhatIwassaying.Theypracticedwithmetogetthepronunciationsabsolutelyright:the"de"shouldbeinbetween"deh"and"day"--ithadtobejustso.IgottotheBrazilianAcademyofSciencesmeeting,andthefirstspeaker,achemist,gotupandgavehistalk--inEnglish.Washetryingtobepolite,orwhat?Icouldn'tunderstandwhathewassayingbecausehispronunciationwassobad,butmaybeeverybodyelsehadthesameaccentsotheycouldunderstandhim;Idon'tknow.Thenthenextguygetsup,andgiveshistalkinEnglish!Whenitwasmyturn,Igotupandsaid,"I'msorry;Ihadn'trealizedthattheofficiallanguageoftheBrazilianAcademyofScienceswasEnglish,andthereforeIdidnotpreparemytalkinEnglish.Sopleaseexcuseme,butI'mgoingtohavetogiveitinPortuguese."SoIreadthething,andeverybodywasverypleasedwithit.Thenextguytogetupsaid,"FollowingtheexampleofmycolleaguefromtheUnitedStates,IalsowillgivemytalkinPortuguese."So,forallIknow,IchangedthetraditionofwhatlanguageisusedintheBrazilianAcademyofSciences.Someyearslater,ImetamanfromBrazilwhoquotedtometheexactsentencesIhadusedatthebeginningofmytalktotheAcademy.Soapparentlyitmadequiteanimpressiononthem.

Butthelanguagewasalwaysdifficultforme,andIkeptworkingonitallthetime,readingthenewspaper,andsoon.IkeptongivingmylecturesinPortuguese--whatIcall"Feynman'sPortuguese,"whichIknewcouldn'tbethesameasrealPortuguese,becauseIcouldunderstandwhatIwassaying,whileIcouldn'tunderstandwhatthepeopleinthestreetweresaying.BecauseIlikeditsomuchthatfirsttimeinBrazil,Iwentagainayearlater,thistimefortenmonths.ThistimeIlecturedattheUniversityofRio,whichwassupposedtopayme,buttheyneverdid,sothecenterkeptgivingmethemoneyIwassupposedtogetfromtheuniversity.IfinallyendedupstayinginahotelrightonthebeachatCopacabana,calledtheMiramar.ForawhileIhadaroomonthethirteenthfloor,whereIcouldlookoutthewindowattheoceanandwatchthegirlsonthebeach.ItturnedoutthatthishotelwastheonethattheairlinepilotsandthestewardessesfromPanAmericanAirlinesstayedatwhentheywould"layover"--atermthatalwaysbotheredmealittlebit.Theirroomswerealwaysonthefourthfloor,andlateatnighttherewouldoftenbeacertainamountofsheepishsneakingupanddownintheelevator.OnetimeIwentawayforafewweeksonatrip,andwhenIcamebackthemanagertoldmehehadtobookmyroomtosomebodyelse,sinceitwasthelastavailableemptyroom,andthathehadmovedmystufftoanewroom.Itwasaroomrightoverthekitchen,thatpeopleusuallydidn'tstayinverylong.ThemanagermusthavefiguredthatIwastheonlyguywhocouldseetheadvantagesofthatroomsufficientlyclearlythatIwouldtoleratethesmellsandnotcomplain.Ididn'tcomplain:Itwasonthefourthfloor,nearthestewardesses.Itsavedalotofproblems.Thepeoplefromtheairlinesweresomewhatboredwiththeirlives,strangelyenough,andatnighttheywouldoftengotobarstodrink.Ilikedthemall,andinordertobesociable,Iwouldgowiththemtothebartohaveafewdrinks,severalnightsaweek.Oneday,about3:30intheafternoon,IwaswalkingalongthesidewalkoppositethebeachatCopacabanapastabar.IsuddenlygotthistreMENdous,strongfeeling:"That'sjustwhatIwant;that'llfitjustright.I'djustlovetohaveadrinkrightnow!"Istartedtowalkintothebar,andIsuddenlythoughttomyself,"Waitaminute!It'sthemiddleoftheafternoon.There'snobodyhere,There'snosocialreasontodrink.Whydoyouhavesuchaterriblystrongfeelingthatyouhavetohaveadrink?"--andIgotscared.

Ineverdrankeveragain,sincethen.IsupposeIreallywasn'tinanydanger,becauseIfounditveryeasytostop.ButthatstrongfeelingthatIdidn'tunderstandfrightenedme.Yousee,IgetsuchfunoutofthinkingthatIdon'twanttodestroythismostpleasantmachinethatmakeslifesuchabigkick.It'sthesamereasonthat,lateron,IwasreluctanttotryexperimentswithLSDinspiteofmycuriosityabouthallucinations.NeartheendofthatyearinBrazilItookoneoftheairhostesses--averylovelygirlwithbraids--tothemuseum.AswewentthroughtheEgyptiansection,Ifoundmyselftellingherthingslike,"Thewingsonthesarcophagusmeansuchand-such,andinthesevasestheyusedtoputtheentrails,andaroundthecornerthereoughtabeaso-and-so..."andIthoughttomyself,"Youknowwhereyoulearnedallthatstuff?FromMaryLou"--andIgotlonelyforher.ImetMaryLouatCornellandlater,whenIcametoPasadena,IfoundthatshehadcometoWestwood,nearby.Ilikedherforawhile,butweusedtoargueabit;finallywedecideditwashopeless,andweseparated.Butafterayearoftakingouttheseairhostessesandnotreallygettinganywhere,Iwasfrustrated.SowhenIwastellingthisgirlallthesethings,IthoughtMaryLoureallywasquitewonderful,andweshouldn'thavehadallthosearguments.Iwrotealettertoherandproposed.Somebodywho'swisecouldhavetoldmethatwasdangerous:Whenyou'reawayandyou'vegotnothingbutpaper,andyou'refeelinglonely,yourememberallthegoodthingsandyoucan'trememberthereasonsyouhadthearguments.Anditdidn'tworkout.Theargumentsstartedagainrightaway,andthemarriagelastedforonlytwoyears.TherewasamanattheU.S.EmbassywhoknewIlikedsambamusic.IthinkItoldhimthatwhenIhadbeeninBrazilthefirsttime,Ihadheardasambabandpracticinginthestreet,andIwantedtolearnmoreaboutBrazilianmusic.Hesaidasmallgroup,calledaregional,practicedathisapartmenteveryweek,andIcouldcomeoverandlistentothemplay.Therewerethreeorfourpeople--onewasthejanitorfromtheapartmenthouse-andtheyplayedratherquietmusicupinhisapartment;theyhadnootherplacetoplay.Oneguyhadatambourinethattheycalledapandeiro,andanotherguyhadasmallguitar.Ikepthearingthebeatofadrumsomewhere,huttherewasnodrum!FinallyIfiguredoutthatitwasthetambourine,whichtheguywasplayinginacomplicatedway,twistinghiswristandhittingtheskinwithhisthumb.Ifoundthatinteresting,andlearnedhowtoplaythepandeiro,moreorless.ThentheseasonforCarnavalbegantocomearound.That'stheseasonwhennewmusicispresented.Theydon'tputoutnewmusicandrecords

allthetime;theyputthemalloutduringCarnavaltime,andit'sveryexciting.Itturnedoutthatthejanitorwasthecomposerforasmallsamba"school"--notaschoolinthesenseofeducation,butinthesenseoffish--fromCopacabanaBeach,calledFar�antesdeCopacabana,whichmeans"FakersfromCopacabana,"whichwasjustrightforme,andheinvitedmetobeinit.Nowthissambaschoolwasathingwhereguysfromthefavelas--thepoorsectionsofthecity--wouldcomedown,andmeetbehindaconstructionlotwheresomeapartmenthouseswerebeingbuilt,andpracticethenewmusicfortheCarnaval.Ichosetoplayathingcalleda"frigideira,"whichisatoyfryingpanmadeofmetal,aboutsixinchesindiameter,withalittlemetalsticktobeatitwith.It'sanaccompanyinginstrumentwhichmakesatinkly,rapidnoisethatgoeswiththemainsambamusicandrhythmandfillsitout.SoItriedtoplaythisthingandeverythingwasgoingallright.Wewerepracticing,themusicwasroaringalongandweweregoinglikesixty,whenallofasuddentheheadofthebatteriasection,agreatbigblackman,yelledout,"STOP!Holdit,holdit--waitaminute!"Andeverybodystopped."Something'swrongwiththefrigideiras!"heboomedout."0Americano,outravez!"("TheAmericanagain!")SoIfeltuncomfortable.Ipracticedallthetime.I'dwalkalongthebeachholdingtwosticksthatIhadpickedup,gettingthetwistymotionofthewrists,practicing,practicing,practicing.Ikeptworkingonit,butIalwaysfeltinferior,thatIwassomekindoftrouble,andwasn'treallyuptoit.Well,itwasgettingclosertoCarnavaltime,andoneeveningtherewasaconversationbetweentheleaderofthebandandanotherguy,andthentheleaderstartedcomingaround,pickingpeopleout:"You!"hesaidtoatrumpeter."You!"hesaidtoasinger."You!"--andhepointedtome.Ifiguredwewerefinished.Hesaid,"Gooutinfront!"Wewentouttothefrontoftheconstructionsite--thefiveorsixofus--andtherewasanoldCadillacconvertible,withitstopdown."Getin!"theleadersaid.Therewasn'tenoughroomforusall,sosomeofushadtositupontheback.Isaidtotheguynexttome,"What'shedoing--isheputtingusout?""Naos�,n�os�."("Idon'tknow.")Wedroveoffwayuphighonaroadwhichendedneartheedgeofacliffoverlookingthesea.Thecarstoppedandtheleadersaid,"Getout!"--

andtheywalkedusrightuptotheedgeofthecliff!Andsureenough,hesaid,"Nowlineup!Youfirst,younext,younext!Startplaying!Nowmarch!"Wewouldhavemarchedofftheedgeofthecliff--exceptforasteeptrailthatwentdown.Soourlittlegroupgoesdownthetrail--thetrumpet,thesinger,theguitar,thepandeiro,andthefrigideira--toanoutdoorpartyinthewoods.Weweren'tpickedoutbecausetheleaderwantedtogetridofus;hewassendingustothisprivatepartythatwantedsomesambamusic!Andafterwardshecollectedmoneytopayforsomecostumesforourband.AfterthatIfeltalittlebetter,becauseIrealizedthatwhenhepickedthefrigideiraplayer,hepickedme!Anotherthinghappenedtoincreasemyconfidence.Sometimelater,aguycamefromanothersambaschool,inLeblon,abeachfurtheron.Hewantedtojoinourschool.Thebosssaid,"Where'reyoufrom?""Leblon.""Whatdoyouplay?"

"Frigideira.""OK.Letmehearyouplaythefrigideira."Sothisguypickeduphisfrigideiraandhismetalstickand..."brrra-dup-dup;chick-a-chick."Geewhiz!Itwaswonderful!Thebosssaidtohim,"YougooverthereandstandnexttoOAmericano,andyou'lllearnhowtoplaythefrigideira!"Mytheoryisthatit'slikeapersonwhospeaksFrenchwhocomestoAmerica.Atfirstthey'remakingallkindsofmistakes,andyoucanhardlyunderstandthem.Thentheykeeponpracticinguntiltheyspeakratherwell,andyoufindthere'sadelightfultwisttotheirwayofspeaking--theiraccentisrathernice,andyoulovetolistentoit.SoImusthavehadsomesortofaccentplayingthefrigideira,becauseIcouldn'tcompetewiththoseguyswhohadbeenplayingitalltheirlives;itmusthavebeensomekindofdumbaccent.Butwhateveritwas,Ibecamearathersuccessfulfrigideiraplayer.Oneday,shortlybeforeCarnavaltime,theleaderofthesambaschoolsaid,"OK,we'regoingtopracticemarchinginthestreet."

Weallwentoutfromtheconstructionsitetothestreet,anditwasfulloftraffic.ThestreetsofCopacabanawerealwaysabigmess.Believeitornot,therewasatrolleylineinwhichthetrolleycarswentoneway,andtheautomobileswenttheotherway.HereitwasrushhourinCopacabana,andweweregoingtomarchdownthemiddleofAvenidaAtlantica.Isaidtomyself,"Jesus!Thebossdidn'tgetalicense,hedidn'tOKitwiththepolice,hedidn'tdoanything.He'sdecidedwe'rejustgoingtogoout."Sowestartedtogooutintothestreet,andeverybody,allaround,wasexcited.Somevolunteersfromagroupofbystanderstookaropeandformedabigsquarearoundourband,sothepedestrianswouldn'twalkthroughourlines.Peoplestartedtoleanoutofthewindows.Everybodywantedtohearthenewsambamusic.Itwasveryexciting!Assoonaswestartedtomarch,Isawapoliceman,waydownattheotherendoftheroad.Helooked,sawwhatwashappening,andstarteddivertingtraffic!Everythingwasinformal.Nobodymadeanyarrangements,butitworkedfine.Thepeoplewereholdingtheropesaroundus,thepolicemanwasdivertingthetraffic,thepedestrianswerecrowdedandthetrafficwasjammed,butweweregoingalonggreat!Wewalkeddownthestreet,aroundthecorners,andalloverthedamnCopacabana,atrandom!Finallyweendedupinalittlesquareinfrontoftheapartmentwheretheboss'smotherlived.Westoodthereinthisplace,playing,andtheguy'smother,andaunt,andsoon,camedown.Theyhadapronson;theyhadbeenworkinginthekitchen,andyoucouldseetheirexcitement--theywerealmostcrying.Itwasreallynicetodothathumanstuff.Andallthepeopleleaningoutofthewindows--thatwasterrific!AndIrememberedthetimeIhadbeeninBrazilbefore,andhadseenoneofthesesambabands--howIlovedthemusicandnearlywentcrazyoverit--andnowIwasinit!Bytheway,whenweweremarchingaroundthestreetsofCopacabanathatday,Isawinagrouponthesidewalktwoyoungladiesfromtheembassy.NextweekIgotanotefromtheembassysaying,"It'sagreatthingyouaredoing,yak,yak,yak..."asifmypurposewastoimproverelationsbetweentheUnitedStatesandBrazil!Soitwasa"great"thingIwasdoing.Well,inordertogototheserehearsals,Ididn'twanttogodressedinmyregularclothesthatIworetotheuniversity.Thepeopleinthebandwereverypoor,andhadonlyold,tatteredclothes.SoIputonanoldundershirt,someoldpants,andsoforth,soIwouldn'tlooktoopeculiar.ButthenIcouldn'twalkoutofmyluxuryhotelonAvenidaAtlanticainCopacabanaBeachthroughthelobby.SoIalwaystooktheelevatordowntothe

bottomandwentoutthroughthebasement.AshorttimebeforeCarnaval,therewasgoingtobeaspecialcompetitionbetweenthesambaschoolsofthebeaches--Copacabana,Ipanema,andLeblon;therewerethreeorfourschools,andwewereone.WeweregoingtomarchincostumedownAvenidaAtlantica.IfeltalittleuncomfortableaboutmarchinginoneofthosefancyCarnavalcostumes,sinceIwasn'taBrazilian.ButweweresupposedtobedressedasGreeks,soIfiguredI'masgoodaGreekastheyare.Onthedayofthecompetition,Iwaseatingatthehotelrestaurant,andtheheadwaiter,whohadoftenseenmetappingonthetablewhentherewassambamusicplaying,cameovertomeandsaid,"Mr.Feynman,thiseveningthere'sgoingtobesomethingyouwilllove!It'stipicoBrasileiro--typicalBrazilian:There'sgoingtobeamarchofthesambaschoolsrightinfrontofthehotel!Andthemusicissogood--youmusthearit."Isaid,"Well,I'mkindofbusytonight.Idon'tknowifIcanmakeit.""Oh!Butyou'dloveitsomuch!Youmustnotmissit!It'stipicoBrasileiro!"Hewasveryinsistent,andasIkepttellinghimIdidn'tthinkI'dbetheretoseeit,hebecamedisappointed.ThateveningIputonmyoldclothesandwentdownthroughthebasement,asusual.WeputonthecostumesattheconstructionlotandbeganmarchingdownAvenidaAtlantica,ahundredBrazilianGreeksinpapercostumes,andIwasintheback,playingawayonthefrigideira.BigcrowdswerealongbothsidesoftheAvenida;everybodywasleaningoutofthewindows,andwewerecominguptotheMiramarHotel,whereIwasstaying.Peoplewerestandingonthetablesandchairs,andtherewerecrowdsandcrowdsofpeople.Wewereplayingalong,goinglikesixty,asourbandstartedtopassinfrontofthehotel.SuddenlyIsawoneofthewaitersshootupintheair,pointingwithhisarm,andthroughallthisnoiseIcanhearhimscream,"0PROFESSOR!"SotheheadwaiterfoundoutwhyIwasn'tabletobetherethateveningtoseethecompetition--Iwasinit!ThenextdayIsawaladyIknewfrommeetingheronthebeachallthetime,whohadanapartmentoverlookingtheAvenida.Shehadsomefriendsovertowatchtheparadeofthesambaschools,andwhenwewentby,oneofherfriendsexclaimed,"Listentothatguyplaythefrigideira--heisgood!"Ihadsucceeded.IgotakickoutofsucceedingatsomethingIwasn'tsupposedtobeabletodo.WhenthetimecameforCarnaval,notverymanypeoplefromourschoolshowedup.Thereweresomespecialcostumesthatweremadejustfor

theoccasion,butnotenoughpeople.Maybetheyhadtheattitudethatwecouldn'twinagainstthereallybigsambaschoolsfromthecity;Idon'tknow.Ithoughtwewereworkingdayafterday,practicingandmarchingfortheCarnaval,butwhenCarnavalcame,alotofthebanddidn'tshowup,andwedidn'tcompeteverywell.Evenasweweremarchingaroundinthestreet,someofthebandwanderedoff.Funnyresult!Ineverdid

understanditverywell,butmaybethemainexcitementandfunwastryjngtowinthecontestofthebeaches,wheremostpeoplefelttheirlevelwas.Andwedidwin,bytheway.

Duringthatten-monthstayinBrazilIgotinterestedintheenergylevelsofthelighternuclei.Iworkedoutallthetheoryforitinmyhotelroom,butIwantedtocheckhowthedatafromtheexperimentslooked.ThiswasnewstuffthatwasbeingworkedoutupattheKelloggLaboratorybytheexpertsatCaltech,soImadecontactwiththem--thetimingwasallarranged--byhamradio.IfoundanamateurradiooperatorinBrazil,andaboutonceaweekI'dgoovertohishouse.He'dmakecontactwiththehamradiooperatorinPasadena,andthen,becausetherewassomethingslightlyillegalaboutit,he'dgivemesomecalllettersandwouldsay,"NowI'llturnyouovertoWKWX,who'ssittingnexttomeandwouldliketotalktoyou."SoI'dsay,"ThisisWKWX.Couldyoupleasetellmethespacingbetweenthecertainlevelsinboronwetalkedaboutlastweek,"andsoon.IwouldusethedatafromtheexperimentstoadjustmyconstantsandcheckwhetherIwasontherighttrack.Thefirstguywentonvacation,buthegawemeanotheramateurradiooperatortogoto.Thissecondguywasblindandoperatedhisstation.Theywerebothverynice,andthecontactIhadwithCaltechbyhamradiowasveryeffectiveandusefultome.Asforthephysicsitself,Iworkedoutquiteagooddeal,anditwassensible.Itwasworkedoutandverifiedbyotherpeoplelater.Idecided,though,thatIhadsomanyparametersthatIhadtoadjust--toomuch"phenomenologicaladjustmentofconstants"tomakeeverythingfit--thatIcouldn'tbesureitwasveryuseful.Iwantedaratherdeeperunderstandingofthenuclei,andIwasneverquiteconvinceditwasverysignificant,soIneverdidanythingwithit.

InregardtoeducationinBrazil,Ihadaveryinterestingexperience.Iwasteachingagroupofstudentswhowouldultimatelybecometeachers,sinceatthattimetherewerenotmanyopportunitiesinBrazilforahighlytrainedpersoninscience.Thesestudentshadalreadyhadmanycourses,andthiswastobetheirmostadvancedcourseinelectricityandmagnetism--Maxwell'sequations,andsoon.Theuniversitywaslocatedinvariousofficebuildingsthroughoutthecity,andthecourseItaughtmetinabuildingwhichoverlookedthehay.Idiscoveredaverystrangephenomenon:Icouldaskaquestion,whichthestudentswouldanswerimmediately.ButthenexttimeIwouldaskthequestion--thesamesubject,andthesamequestion,asfarasIcouldtell--theycouldn'tansweritatall!Forinstance,onetimeIwastalkingaboutpolarizedlight,andIgavethemallsomestripsofpolaroid.Polaroidpassesonlylightwhoseelectricvectorisinacertaindirection,soIexplainedhowyoucouldtellwhichwaythelightispolarizedfromwhetherthepolaroidisdarkorlight.Wefirsttooktwostripsofpolaroidandrotatedthemuntiltheyletthemostlightthrough.Fromdoingthatwecouldtellthatthetwostripswerenowadmittinglightpolarizedinthesamedirection--whatpassedthroughonepieceofpolaroidcouldalsopassthroughtheother.ButthenIaskedthemhowonecouldtelltheabsolutedirectionofpolarization,forasinglepieceofpolaroid.Theyhadn'tanyidea.Iknewthistookacertainamountofingenuity,soIgavethemahint:"Lookatthelightreflectedfromthebayoutside."Nobodysaidanything.ThenIsaid,"HaveyoueverheardofBrewster'sAngle?""Yes,sir!Brewster'sAngleistheangleatwhichlightreflectedfromamediumwithanindexofrefractioniscompletelypolarized.""Andwhichwayisthelightpolarizedwhenit'sreflected?""Thelightispolarizedperpendiculartotheplaneofreflection,sir."Evennow,Ihavetothinkaboutit;theyknewitcold!Theyevenknewthetangentoftheangleequalstheindex!Isaid,"Well?"Stillnothing.Theyhadjusttoldmethatlightreflectedfromamediumwithanindex,suchasthebayoutside,waspolarized;theyhadeventold

mewhichwayitwaspolarized.Isaid,"Lookatthebayoutside,throughthepolaroid.Nowturnthepolaroid.""Ooh,it'spolarized!"theysaid.Afteralotofinvestigation,Ifinallyfiguredoutthatthestudentshadmemorizedeverything,buttheydidn'tknowwhatanythingmeant.Whentheyheard"lightthatisreflectedfromamediumwithanindex,"theydidn'tknowthatitmeantamaterialsuchaswater.Theydidn'tknowthatthe"directionofthelight"isthedirectioninwhichyouseesomethingwhenyou'relookingatit,andsoon.Everythingwasentirelymemorized,yetnothinghadbeentranslatedintomeaningfulwords.SoifIasked,"WhatisBrewster'sAngle?"I'mgoingintothecomputerwiththerightkeywords.ButifIsay,"Lookatthewater,"nothinghappens--theydon'thaveanythingunder"Lookatthewater"!LaterIattendedalectureattheengineeringschool.Thelecturewentlikethis,translatedintoEnglish:"Twobodies...areconsideredequivalent...ifequaltorques...willproduce...equalacceleration.Twobodies,areconsideredequivalent,ifequaltorques,willproduceequalacceleration."Thestudentswereallsittingtheretakingdictation,andwhentheprofessorrepeatedthesentence,theycheckedittomakesuretheywroteitdownallright.Thentheywrotedownthenextsentence,andonandon.Iwastheonlyonewhoknewtheprofessorwastalkingaboutobjectswiththesamemomentofinertia,anditwashardtofigureout.Ididn'tseehowtheyweregoingtolearnanythingfromthat.Herehewastalkingaboutmomentsofinertia,buttherewasnodiscussionabouthowharditistopushadooropenwhenyouputheavyweightsontheoutside,comparedtowhenyouputthemnearthehinge--nothing!

Afterthelecture,Italkedtoastudent:"Youtakeallthosenotes--whatdoyoudowiththem?""Oh,westudythem,"hesays."We'llhaveanexam.""Whatwilltheexambelike?""Veryeasy.Icantellyounowoneofthequestions."Helooksathisnotebookandsays,"'Whenaretwobodiesequivalent?'Andtheansweris,'Twobodiesareconsideredequivalentifequaltorqueswillproduceequalacceleration.'So,yousee,theycouldpasstheexaminations,and"learn"allthisstuff,andnotknowanythingatall,exceptwhattheyhadmemorized.

ThenIwenttoanentranceexamforstudentscomingintotheengineeringschool.Itwasanoralexam,andIwasallowedtolistentoit.Oneofthestudentswasabsolutelysuper:Heansweredeverythingnifty!Theexaminersaskedhimwhatdiamagnetismwas,andheanswereditperfectly.Thentheyasked,"Whenlightcomesatananglethroughasheetofmaterialwithacertainthickness,andacertainindexN,whathappenstothelight?""Itcomesoutparalleltoitself,sir--displaced.""Andhowmuchisitdisplaced?""Idon'tknow,sir,butIcanfigureitout."Sohefigureditout.Hewasverygood.ButIhad,bythistime,mysuspicions.AftertheexamIwentuptothisbrightyoungman,andexplainedtohimthatIwasfromtheUnitedStates,andthatIwantedtoaskhimsomequestionsthatwouldnotaffecttheresultofhisexaminationinanyway.ThefirstquestionIaskis,"Canyougivemesomeexampleofadiamagneticsubstance?""No."ThenIasked,"Ifthisbookwasmadeofglass,andIwaslookingatsomethingonthetablethroughit,whatwouldhappentotheimageifItiltedtheglass?""Itwouldbedeflected,sir,bytwicetheanglethatyou'veturnedthebook."Isaid,"Youhaven'tgotitmixedupwithamirror,haveyou?""No,sir!"Hehadjusttoldmeintheexaminationthatthelightwouldbedisplaced,paralleltoitself,andthereforetheimagewouldmoveovertooneside,butwouldnotbeturnedbyanyangle.Hehadevenfiguredouthowmuchitwouldbedisplaced,buthedidn'trealizethatapieceofglassisamaterialwithanindex,andthathiscalculationhadappliedtomyquestion.Itaughtacourseattheengineeringschoolonmathematicalmethodsinphysics,inwhichItriedtoshowhowtosolveproblemsbytrialanderror.It'ssomethingthatpeopledon'tusuallylearn,soIbeganwithsomesimpleexamplesofarithmetictoillustratethemethod.Iwassurprisedthatonlyabouteightoutoftheeightyorsostudentsturnedinthefirstassignment.SoIgaveastronglectureabouthavingtoactuallytryit,notjustsitback

andwatchmedoit.Afterthelecturesomestudentscameuptomeinalittledelegation,andtoldmethatIdidn'tunderstandthebackgroundsthattheyhave,thattheycanstudywithoutdoingtheproblems,thattheyhavealreadylearnedarithmetic,andthatthisstuffwasbeneaththem.SoIkeptgoingwiththeclass,andnomatterhowcomplicatedorobviouslyadvancedtheworkwasbecoming,theywereneverhandingadamnthingin.OfcourseIrealizedwhatitwas:Theycouldn'tdoit!OneotherthingIcouldnevergetthemtodowastoaskquestions.Finally,astudentexplainedittome:"IfIaskyouaquestionduringthelecture,afterwardseverybodywillbetellingme,'Whatareyouwastingourtimeforintheclass?We'retryingtolearnsomething.Andyou'restoppinghimbyaskingaquestion'."Itwasakindofone-upmanship,wherenobodyknowswhat'sgoingon,andthey'dputtheotheronedownasiftheydidknow.Theyallfakethattheyknow,andifonestudentadmitsforamomentthatsomethingisconfusingbyaskingaquestion,theotherstakeahigh-handedattitude,actingasifit'snotconfusingatall,tellinghimthathe'swastingtheirtime.Iexplainedhowusefulitwastoworktogether,todiscussthequestions,totalkitover,buttheywouldn'tdothateither,becausetheywouldbelosingfaceiftheyhadtoasksomeoneelse.Itwaspitiful!Alltheworktheydid,intelligentpeople,buttheygotthemselvesintothisfunnystateofmind,thisstrangekindofself-propagating"education"which4ismeaningless,utterlymeaningless!Attheendoftheacademicyear,thestudentsaskedmetogiveatalkaboutmyexperiencesofteachinginBrazil.Atthetalktherewouldbenotonlystudents,butprofessorsandgovernmentofficials,soImadethempromisethatIcouldsaywhateverIwanted.Theysaid,"Sure.Ofcourse.It'safreecountry."SoIcamein,carryingtheelementaryphysicstextbookthattheyusedinthefirstyearofcollege.Theythoughtthisbookwasespeciallygoodbecauseithaddifferentkindsoftypeface--boldblackforthemostimportantthingstoremember,lighterforlessimportantthings,andsoon.Rightawaysomebodysaid,"You'renotgoingtosayanythingbadaboutthetextbook,areyou?Themanwhowroteitishere,andeverybodythinksit'sagoodtextbook.""YoupromisedIcouldsaywhateverIwanted."

Thelecturehallwasfull.Istartedoutbydefiningscienceasanunderstandingofthebehaviorofnature.ThenIasked,"Whatisagoodreasonforteachingscience?Ofcourse,nocountrycanconsideritselfcivilizedunless...yak,yak,yak."Theywereallsittingtherenodding,becauseIknowthat'sthewaytheythink.

ThenIsay,"That,ofcourse,isabsurd,becausewhyshouldwefeelwehavetokeepupwithanothercountry?Wehavetodoitforagoodreason,asensiblereason;notjustbecauseothercountriesdo."ThenItalkedabouttheutilityofscience,anditscontributiontotheimprovementofthehumancondition,andallthat--Ireallyteasedthemalittlebit.ThenIsay,"ThemainpurposeofmytalkistodemonstratetoyouthatnoscienceisbeingtaughtinBrazil!"Icanseethemstir,thinking,"What?Noscience?Thisisabsolutelycrazy!Wehavealltheseclasses."SoItellthemthatoneofthefirstthingstostrikemewhenIcametoBrazilwastoseeelementaryschoolkidsinbookstores,buyingphysicsbooks.TherearesomanykidslearningphysicsinBrazil,beginningmuchearlierthankidsdointheUnitedStates,thatit'samazingyoudon'tfindmanyphysicistsinBrazil--whyisthat?Somanykidsareworkingsohard,andnothingcomesofit.ThenIgavetheanalogyofaGreekscholarwholovestheGreeklanguage,whoknowsthatinhisowncountrytherearen'tmanychildrenstudyingGreek.Buthecomestoanothercountry,whereheisdelightedtofindeverybodystudyingGreek--eventhesmallerkidsintheelementaryschools.HegoestotheexaminationofastudentwhoiscomingtogethisdegreeinGreek,andaskshim,"WhatwereSocrates'ideasontherelationshipbetweenTruthandBeauty?"--andthestudentcan'tanswer.Thenheasksthestudent,WhatdidSocratessaytoPlatointheThirdSymposium?"thestudentlightsupandgoes,"Brrrrrrrrr-up"--hetellsyoueverything,wordforword,thatSocratessaid,inbeautifulGreek.ButwhatSocrateswastalkingaboutintheThirdSymposiumwastherelationshipbetweenTruthandBeauty!WhatthisGreekscholardiscoversis,thestudentsinanothercountrylearnGreekbyfirstlearningtopronouncetheletters,thenthewords,andthensentencesandparagraphs.Theycanrecite,wordforword,whatSocratessaid,withoutrealizingthatthoseGreekwordsactuallymeansomething.Tothestudenttheyareallartificialsounds.Nobodyhasevertranslatedthemintowordsthestudentscanunderstand.Isaid,"That'showitlookstome,whenIseeyouteachingthekids'science'hereinBrazil."(Bigblast,right?)

ThenIhelduptheelementaryphysicstextbooktheywereusing."Therearenoexperimentalresultsmentionedanywhereinthisbook,exceptinoneplacewherethereisaball,rollingdownaninclinedplane,inwhichitsayshowfartheballgotafteronesecond,twoseconds,threeseconds,andsoon.Thenumbershave'errors'inthem--thatis,ifyoulookatthem,youthinkyou'relookingatexperimentalresults,becausethenumbersarealittleabove,oralittlebelow,thetheoreticalvalues.Thebookeventalksabouthavingtocorrecttheexperimentalerrors--veryfine.Thetroubleis,whenyoucalculatethevalueoftheaccelerationconstantfromthesevalues,yougettherightanswer.Butaballrollingdownaninclinedplane,ifitisactuallydone,hasaninertiatogetittoturn,andwill,ifyoudotheexperiment,producefive-seventhsoftherightanswer,becauseoftheextraenergyneededtogointotherotationoftheball.Thereforethissingleexampleofexperimental'results'isobtainedfromafakeexperiment.Nobodyhadrolledsuchaball,ortheywouldneverhavegottenthoseresults!"Ihavediscoveredsomethingelse,"Icontinued."Byflippingthepagesatrandom,andputtingmyfingerinandreadingthesentencesonthatpage,Icanshowyouwhat'sthematter--howit'snotscience,butmemorizing,ineverycircumstance.ThereforeIambraveenoughtoflipthroughthepagesnow,infrontofthisaudience,toputmyfingerin,toread,andtoshowyou."SoIdidit.Brrrrrrrup--Istuckmyfingerin,andIstartedtoread:"Triboluminescence.Triboluminescenceisthelightemittedwhencrystalsarecrushed..Isaid,"Andthere,haveyougotscience?No!Youhaveonlytoldwhatawordmeansintermsofotherwords.Youhaven'ttoldanythingaboutnature-whatcrystalsproducelightwhenyoucrushthem,whytheyproducelight.Didyouseeanystudentgohomeandtryit?Hecan't."Butif,instead,youweretowrite,'Whenyoutakealumpofsugarandcrushitwithapairofpliersinthedark,youcanseeabluishflash.Someothercrystalsdothattoo.Nobodyknowswhy.Thephenomenoniscalled"triboluminescence."'Thensomeonewillgohomeandtryit.Thenthere'sanexperienceofnature."Iusedthatexampletoshowthem,butitdidn'tmakeanydifferencewhereIwouldhaveputmyfingerinthebook;itwaslikethateverywhere.Finally,IsaidthatIcouldn'tseehowanyonecouldheeducatedbythisself-propagatingsysteminwhichpeoplepassexams,andteachotherstopassexams,butnobodyknowsanything."However,"Isaid,"Imustbewrong.Thereweretwostudentsinmyclasswhodidverywell,andoneofthephysicistsIknowwaseducatedentirelyinBrazil.Thus,itmustbepossibleforsomepeopletoworktheirwaythroughthesystem,hadasitis."

Well,afterIgavethetalk,theheadofthescienceeducationdepartmentgotupandsaid,"Mr.Feynmanhastoldussomethingsthatareveryhardforustohear,butitappearstohethathereallylovesscience,andissincereinhiscriticism.Therefore,Ithinkweshouldlistentohim.Icamehereknowingwehavesomesicknessinoursystemofeducation;whatIhavelearnedisthatwehaveacancer!"--andhesatdown.Thatgaveotherpeoplethefreedomtospeakout,andtherewasabigexcitement.Everybodywasgettingupandmakingsuggestions.Thestudentsgotsomecommitteetogethertomimeographthelecturesinadvance,andtheygotothercommitteesorganizedtodothisandthat.Thensomethinghappenedwhichwastotallyunexpectedforme.Oneofthestudentsgotupandsaid,"I'moneofthetwostudentswhomMr.Feynmanreferredtoattheendofhistalk.IwasnoteducatedinBrazil;IwaseducatedinGermany,andI'vejustcometoBrazilthisyear."Theotherstudentwhohaddonewellinclasshadasimilarthingtosay.AndtheprofessorIhadmentionedgotupandsaid,"IwaseducatedhereinBrazilduringthewar,when,fortunately,alloftheprofessorshadlefttheuniversity,soIlearnedeverythingbyreadingalone.ThereforeIwasnotreallyeducatedundertheBraziliansystem."Ididn'texpectthat.Iknewthesystemwasbad,but100percent--itwasterrible!SinceIhadgonetoBrazilunderaprogramsponsoredbytheUnitedStatesGovernment,IwasaskedbytheStateDepartmenttowriteareportaboutmyexperiencesinBrazil,soIwroteouttheessentialsofthespeechIhadjustgiven.IfoundoutlaterthroughthegrapevinethatthereactionofsomebodyintheStateDepartmentwas,"ThatshowsyouhowdangerousitistosendsomebodytoBrazilwhoissonaive.Foolishfellow;hecanonlycausetrouble.Hedidn'tunderstandtheproblems."Quitethecontrary!IthinkthispersonintheStateDepartmentwasnaivetothinkthatbecausehesawauniversitywithalistofcoursesanddescriptions,that'swhatitwas.

ManofaThousandTonguesWhenIwasinBrazilIhadstruggledtolearnthelocallanguage,anddecidedtogivemyphysicslecturesinPortuguese.SoonafterIcametoCaltech,IwasinvitedtoapartyhostedbyProfessorBacher.BeforeIarrivedattheparty,Bachertoldtheguests,"ThisguyFeynmanthinkshe'ssmartbecausehelearnedalittlePortuguese,solet'sfixhimgood:Mrs.Smith,here(she'scompletelyCaucasian),grewupinChina.Let'shavehergreetFeynmaninChinese."

Iwalkintothepartyinnocently,andBacherintroducesmetoallthesepeople:"Mr.Feynman,thisisMr.So-and-so.""Pleasedtomeetyou,Mr.Feynman.""AndthisisMr.Such-and-such.""Mypleasure,Mr.Feynman.""AndthisisMrs.Smith.""Ai,choong,ngongjia!"shesays,bowing.ThisissuchasurprisetomethatIfiguretheonlythingtodoistoreplyinthesamespirit.Ibowpolitelytoher,andwithcompleteconfidenceIsay,"Ahching,jongjien!""Oh,myGod!"sheexclaims,losingherowncomposure."Iknewthiswouldhappen--IspeakMandarinandhespeaksCantonese!"

Certainly,Mr.Big!IusedtocrosstheUnitedStatesinmyautomobileeverysummer,tryingtomakeittothePacificOcean.But,forvariousreasons,Iwouldalwaysgetstucksomewhere-usuallyinLasVegas.Irememberthefirsttime,particularly,Ilikeditverymuch.Then,asnow,LasVegasmadeitsmoneyonthepeoplewhogamble,sothewholeproblemforthehotelswastogetpeopletocometheretogamble.Sotheyhadshowsanddinnerswhichwereveryinexpensive--almostfree.Youdidn'thavetomakeanyreservationsforanything:youcouldwalkin,sitdownatoneofthemanyemptytables,andenjoytheshow.Itwasjustwonderfulforamanwhodidn'tgamble,becauseIwasenjoyingalltheadvantages--theroomswereinexpensive,themealswerenexttonothing,theshowsweregood,andIlikedthegirls.OnedayIwaslyingaroundthepoolatmymotel,andsomeguycameupandstartedtotalktome.Ican'trememberhowhegotstarted,buthisideawasthatIpresumablyworkedforaliving,anditwasreallyquitesillytodothat.Lookhoweasyitisforme,"hesaid."IjusthangaroundthepoolallthetimeandenjoylifeinLasVegas.""Howthehelldoyoudothatwithoutworking?"

"Simple:Ibetonthehorses.""Idon'tknowanythingabouthorses,butIdon'tseehowyoucanmakealivingbettingonthehorses,"Isaid,skeptically."Ofcourseyoucan,"hesaid."That'showllive!I'lltellyouwhat:I'llteachyouhowtodoit.We'llgodownandI'llguaranteethatyou'llwinahundreddollars.""Howcanyoudothat?""I'llbetyouahundreddollarsthatyou'llwin,"hesaid."Soifyouwinitdoesn'tcostyouanything,andifyoulose,yougetahundreddollars!"SoIthink,"Gee!That'sright!IfIwinahundreddollarsonthehorsesandIhavetopayhim,Idon'tloseanything;it'sjustanexercise--it'sjustproofthathissystemworks.Andifhefails,Iwinahundreddollars.It'squitewonderful!"Hetakesmedowntosomebettingplacewheretheyhavealistofhorsesandracetracksalloverthecountry.Heintroducesmetootherpeoplewhosay,"Geez,he'sgreat!Iwonahunerddollas!"IgraduallyrealizethatIhavetoputupsomeofmyownmoneyforthebets,andIbegintogetalittlenervous."HowmuchmoneydoIhavetobet?"Iask."Oh,threeorfourhundreddollars."Ihaven'tgotthatmuch.Besides,itbeginstoworryme:SupposeIloseallthebets?Sothenhesays,"I'lltellyouwhat:Myadvicewillcostyouonlyfiftydollars,andonlyifitworks.Ifitdoesn'twork,I'llgiveyouthehundreddollarsyouwouldhavewonanyway."Ifigure,"Wow!NowIwinbothways--eitherfiftyorahundreddollars!Howtheheckcanhedothat?"ThenIrealizethatifyouhaveareasonablyevengame--forgetthelittlelossesfromthetakeforthemomentinordertounderstandit--thechancethatyou'llwinahundreddollarsversuslosingyourfourhundreddollarsisfourtoone.Sooutoffivetimesthathetriesthisonsomebody,fourtimesthey'regoingtowinahundreddollars,hegetstwohundred(andhepointsouttothemhowsmartheis);thefifthtimehehastopayahundreddollars.Sohereceivestwohundred,ontheaverage,whenhe'spayingoutonehundred!SoIfinallyunderstoodhowhecoulddothat.Thisprocesswentonforafewdays.Hewouldinventsomeschemethatsoundedlikeaterrificdealatfirst,butafterIthoughtaboutitfora

whileI'dslowlyfigureouthowitworked.Finally,insomesortofdesperationhesays,"Allright,I'lltellyouwhat:Youpaymefiftydollarsfortheadvice,andifyoulose,I'llpayyoubackallyourmoney."NowIcan'tloseonthat!SoIsay,"Allright,you'vegotadeal!""Fine,"hesays."Butunfortunately,IhavetogotoSanFranciscothisweekend,soyoujustmailmetheresults,andifyouloseyourfourhundreddollars,I'llsendyouthemoney.Thefirstschemesweredesignedtomakehimmoneybyhonestarithmetic.Now,he'sgoingtobeoutoftown.Theonlywayhe'sgoingtomakemoneyonthisschemeisnottosendit--tobearealcheat.SoIneveracceptedanyofhisoffers.Butitwasveryentertainingtoseehowheoperated.TheotherthingthatwasfuninLasVegaswasmeetingshowgirls.Iguesstheyweresupposedtohangaroundthebarbetweenshowstoattractcustomers.Imetseveralofthemthatway,andtalkedtothem,andfoundthemtobenicepeople.Peoplewhosay,"Showgirls,eh?"havealreadymadeuptheirmindwhattheyare!Butinanygroup,ifyoulookatit,there'sallkindsofvariety.Forexample,therewasthedaughterofadeanofanEasternuniversity.Shehadatalentfordancingandlikedtodance;shehadthesummeroffanddancingjobswerehardtofind,sosheworkedasachorusgirlinLasVegas.Mostoftheshowgirlswereverynice,friendlypeople.Theywereallbeautiful,andIjustlovebeautifulgirls.Infact,showgirlsweremyrealreasonforlikingLasVegassomuch.AtfirstIwasalittlebitafraid:thegirlsweresobeautiful,theyhadsuchareputation,andsoforth.Iwouldtrytomeetthem,andI'dchokealittlebitwhenItalked.Itwasdifficultatfirst,butgraduallyitgoteasier,andfinallyIhadenoughconfidencethatIwasn'tafraidofanybody.Ihadawayofhavingadventureswhichishardtoexplain:it'slikefishing,whereyouputalineoutandthenyouhavetohavepatience.WhenIwouldtellsomeoneaboutsomeofmyadventures,theymightsay,"Oh,comeon--let'sdothat!"Sowewouldgotoabartoseeifsomethingwillhappen,andtheywouldlosepatienceaftertwentyminutesorso.Youhavetospendacoupleofdaysbeforesomethinghappens,onaverage.Ispentalotoftimetalkingtoshowgirls.Onewouldintroducemetoanother,andafterawhile,somethinginterestingwouldoftenhappen.

IrememberonegirlwholikedtodrinkGibsons.ShedancedattheFlamingoHotel,andIgottoknowherratherWell.WhenI'dcomeintotown,

I'dorderaGibsonputathertablebeforeshesatdown,toannouncemyarrival.OnetimeIwentoverandsatnexttoherandshesaid,"I'mwithamantonight--ahigh-rollerfromTexas."(Ihadalreadyheardaboutthisguy.Wheneverhe'dplayatthecrapstable,everybodywouldgatheraroundtoseehimgamble.)Hecamebacktothetablewhereweweresitting,andmyshowgirlfriendintroducedmetohim.Thefirstthinghesaidtomewas,"Youknowsomethin'?Ilostsixtythousanddollarsherelastnight."Iknewwhattodo:Iturnedtohim,completelyunimpressed,andIsaid,"Isthatsupposedtobesmart,orstupid?"Wewereeatingbreakfastinthediningroom.Hesaid,"Here,letmesignyourcheck.Theydon'tchargemeforallthesethingsbecauseIgamblesomuchhere.""I'vegotenoughmoneythatIdon'tneedtoworryaboutwhopaysformybreakfast,thankyou."Ikeptputtinghimdowneachtimehetriedtoimpressme.Hetriedeverything:howrichhewas,howmuchoilhehadinTexas,andnothingworked,becauseIknewtheformula!Weendeduphavingquiteabitoffuntogether.Onetimewhenweweresittingatthebarhesaidtome,"Youseethosegirlsatthetableoverthere?They'rewhoresfromLosAngeles."Theylookedverynice;theyhadacertainamountofclass.Hesaid,"TellyouwhatI'lldo:I'llintroducethemtoyou,andthenI'llpayfortheoneyouwant."Ididn'tfeellikemeetingthegirls,andIknewhewassayingthattoimpressme,soIbegantotellhimno.ButthenIthought,"Thisissomething!Thisguyistryingsohardtoimpressme,he'swillingtobuythisforme.IfI'mevergoingtotellthestory...SoIsaidtohim,"Well,OK,introduceme."Wewentovertotheirtableandheintroducedmetothegirlsandthenwentoffforamoment.Awaitresscamearoundandaskeduswhatwewantedtodrink.Iorderedsomewater,andthegirlnexttomesaid,"IsitallrightifIhaveachampagne?""Youcanhavewhateveryouwant,"Ireplied,coolly,'causeyou'repayin'forit.""What'sthematterwithyou?"shesaid."Cheapskate,orsomething?"

"That'sright.""You'recertainlynotagentleman!"shesaidindignantly."Youfiguredmeoutimmediately!"Ireplied.IhadlearnedinNewMexicomanyyearsbeforenottobeagentleman.Prettysoontheywereofferingtobuymedrinks--thetableswereturnedcompletely!(Bytheway,theTexasoilmannevercameback.)Afterawhile,oneofthegirlssaid,"Let'sgoovertotheElRancho.Maybethingsarelivelieroverthere."Wegotintheircar.Itwasanicecar,andtheywerenicepeople.Ontheway,theyaskedmemyname."DickFeynman.""Whereareyoufrom,Dick?Whatdoyoudo?""I'mfromPasadena;IworkatCaltech."Oneofthegirlssaid,"Oh,isn'tthattheplacewherethatscientistPaulingcomesfrom?"IhadbeeninLasVegasmanytimes,overandover,andtherewasnobodywhoeverknewanythingaboutscience.Ihadtalkedtobusinessmenofallkinds,andtothem,ascientistwasanobody."Yeah!"Isaid,astonished."Andthere'safellanamedGellan,orsomethinglikethat--aphysicist."Icouldn'tbelieveit.Iwasridinginacarfullofprostitutesandtheyknowallthisstuff!"Yeah!HisnameisGell-Mann!Howdidyouhappentoknowthat?""YourpictureswereinTimemagazine."It'strue,theyhadpicturesoftenU.S.scientistsinTimemagazine,forsomereason.Iwasinit,andsowerePaulingandGell-Mann."Howdidyourememberthenames?"Iasked."Well,wewerelookingthroughthepictures,andwepickedouttheyoungestandthehandsomest!"(Gell-MannisyoungerthanIam.)WegottotheElRanchoHotelandthegirlscontinuedthisgameofactingtowardsmelikeeverybodynormallyactstowardsthem:"Wouldyouliketogamble?"theyasked.Igambledalittlebitwiththeirmoneyandweallhadagoodtime.Afterawhiletheysaid,"Look,weseealiveone,sowe'llhavetoleaveyounow,"andtheywentbacktowork.

OnetimeIwassittingatabarandInoticedtwogirlswithanolderman.Finallyhewalkedaway,andtheycameoverandsatnexttome:theprettierandmoreactiveonenexttome,andherdullerfriend,namedPam,ontheotherside.Thingsstartedgoingalongverynicelyrightaway.Shewasveryfriendly.Soonshewasleaningagainstme,andIputmyarmaroundher.Twomencameinandsatatatablenearby.Then,beforethewaitresscame,theywalkedout.

"Didyouseethosemen?"mynew-foundfriendsaid."Yeah.""They'refriendsofmyhusband.""Oh?Whatisthis?""Yousee,IjustmarriedJohnBig"--shementionedaveryfamousname--"andwe'vehadalittleargument.We'reonourhoneymoon,andJohnisalwaysgambling.Hedoesn'tpayanyattentiontome,soIgooffandenjoymyself,buthekeepssendingspiesaroundtocheckonwhatI'mdoing."Sheaskedmetotakehertohermotelroom,sowewentinmycar.OnthewayIaskedher,"Well,whataboutJohn?"Shesaid,"Don'tworry.Justlookaroundforabigredcarwithtwoantennas.Ifyoudon'tseeit,he'snotaround."ThenextnightItookthe"Gibsongirl"andafriendofherstothelateshowattheSilverSlipper,whichhadashowlaterthanallthehotels.Thegirlswhoworkedintheothershowslikedtogothere,andthemasterofceremoniesannouncedthearrivalofthevariousdancersastheycamein.SoinIwentwiththesetwolovelydancersonmyarm,andhesaid,"AndherecomesMissSo-and-soandMissSo-and-sofromtheFlamingo!"Everybodylookedaroundtoseewhowascomingin.Ifeltgreat!Wesatdownatatablenearthebar,andafteralittlewhiletherewasabitofaflurry--waitersmovingtablesaround,securityguards,withguns,comingin.Theyweremakingroomforacelebrity.JOHNBIGwascomingin!Hecameovertothebar,rightnexttoourtable,andrightawaytwoguyswantedtodancewiththegirlsIbrought.Theywentofftodance,andIwassittingaloneatthetablewhenJohncameoverandsatdownatmytable."Howareyah?"hesaid."Whattyadoin'inVegas?"Iwassurehe'dfoundoutaboutmeandhiswife."Justfoolin'around..."(I'vegottaacttough,right?)

"Howlongyabeenhere?""Fourorfivenights.""Iknowya,"hesaid."Didn'tIseeyouinFlorida?""Well,Ireallydon'tknow..Hetriedthisplaceandthatplace,andIdidn'tknowwhathewasgettingat."Iknow,"hesaid;"ItwasinElMorocco."(ElMoroccowasabignightclubinNewYork,wherealotofbigoperatorsgo--likeprofessorsoftheoreticalphysics,right?)"Thatmusthavebeenit,"Isaid.Iwaswonderingwhenhewasgoingtogettoit.Finallyheleanedovertomeandsaid,"Hey,willyouintroducemetothosegirlsyou'rewithwhentheycomebackfromdancing?"That'sallhewanted;hedidn'tknowmefromaholeinthewall!SoIintroducedhim,butmyshowgirlfriendssaidtheyweretiredandwantedtogohome.Thenextafternoon,IsawJohnBigattheFlamingo,standingatthebar,talkingtothebartenderaboutcamerasandtakingpictures.Hemustbeanamateurphotographer:He'sgotallthesebulbsandcameras,buthesaysthedumbestthingsaboutthem.Idecidedhewasn'tanamateurphotographerafterall;hewasjustarichguywhoboughthimselfsomecameras.Ifiguredbythattimethathedidn'tknowIhadbeenfoolingaroundwithhiswife;heonlywantedtotalktomebecauseofthegirlsIhad.SoIthoughtIwouldplayagame.I'dinventapartformyself:JohnBig'sassistant."Hi,John,"Isaid."Let'stakesomepictures.I'llcarryyourflashbulbs."Iputtheflashbulbsinmypocket,andwestartedofftakingpictures.I'dhandhimflashbulbsandgivehimadvicehereandthere;helikesthatstuff.WewentovertotheLastFrontiertogamble,andhestartedtowin.Thehotelsdon'tlikeahighrollertoleave,butIcouldseehewantedtogo.Theproblemwashowtodoitgracefully."John,wehavetoleavenow,"Isaidinaseriousvoice."ButI'mwinning."

"Yes,butwehavemadeanappointmentthisafternoon.""OK,getmycar.""Certainly,Mr.Big!"Hehandedmethekeysandtoldmewhatitlookedlike(Ididn'tletonthatIknew).Iwentouttotheparkinglot,andsureenough,therewasthisbig,fat,wonderfulcarwiththetwoantennas.Iclimbedintoitandturnedthekey--anditwouldn'tstart.Ithadanautomatictransmission;theyhadjustcomeoutandIdidn'tknowanythingaboutthem.AfterabitIaccidentallyshifteditintoPARKanditstarted.Idroveitverycarefully,likeamillion-dollarcar,tothehotelentrance,whereIgotoutandwentinsidetothetablewherehewasstillgambling,andsaid,"Yourcarisready,sir!""Ihavetoquit,"heannounced,andweleft.Hehadmedrivethecar."IwanttogototheElRancho,"hesaid."Doyouknowanygirlsthere?"Iknewonegirlthereratherwell,soIsaid"Yeah."BythistimeIfeltconfidentenoughthattheonlyreasonhewasgoingalongwiththisgameIhadinventedwasthathewantedtomeetsomegirls,soIbroughtupadelicatesubject:"Imetyourwifetheothernight..

"Mywife?Mywife'snothereinLasVegas."ItoldhimaboutthegirlImetinthebar."Oh!Iknowwhoyoumean;ImetthatgirlandherfriendinLosAngelesandbroughtthemtoLasVegas.ThefirstthingtheydidwasusemyphoneforanhourtotalktotheirfriendsinTexas.Igotmadandthrew'emout!Soshe'sbeengoingaroundtellingeverybodythatshe'smywife,eh?"Sothatwasclearedup.WewentintotheElRancho,andtheshowwasgoingtostartinaboutfifteenminutes.Theplacewaspacked;therewasn'taseatinthehouse.Johnwentovertothemajordomoandsaid,"Iwantatable.""Yes,sir,Mr.Big!Itwillbereadyinafewminutes."Johntippedhimandwentofftogamble.MeanwhileIwentaroundtotheback,wherethegirlsweregettingreadyfortheshow,andaskedformyfriend.ShecameoutandIexplainedtoherthatJohnBigwaswithme,andhe'dlikesomecompanyaftertheshow.

"Certainly,Dick,"shesaid."I'llbringsomefriendsandwe'llseeyouaftertheshow."IwentaroundtothefronttofindJohn.Hewasstillgambling."Justgoinwithoutme,"hesaid."I'llbethereinaminute."Thereweretwotables,attheveryfront,rightattheedgeofthestage.Everyothertableintheplacewaspacked.Isatdownbymyself.TheshowstartedbeforeJohncamein,andtheshowgirlscameout.Theycouldseemeatthetable,allbymyself.Before,theythoughtIwassomesmall-time.professor;nowtheyseeI'maBIGOPERATOR.FinallyJohncamein,andsoonafterwardssomepeoplesatdownatthetablenexttous--John's"wife"andherfriendPam,withtwomen!IleanedovertoJohn:"She'sattheothertable.""Yeah."ShesawIwastakingcareofJohn,sosheleanedovertomefromtheothertableandasked,"CouldItalktoJohn?"Ididn'tsayaword.Johndidn'tsayanythingeither.Iwaitedalittlewhile,thenIleanedovertoJohn:"Shewantstotalktoyou."Thenhewaitedalittlebit."Allright,"hesaid.Iwaitedalittlemore,andthenIleanedovertoher:"Johnwillspeaktoyounow."Shecameovertoourtable.Shestartedworkingon"Johnnie,"sittingveryclosetohim.Thingswerebeginningtogetstraightenedoutalittlebit,Icouldtell.Ilovetobemischievous,soeverytimetheygotthingsstraightenedoutalittlebit,IremindedJohnofsomething:"Thetelephone,John...""Yeah!"hesaid."What'stheidea,spendinganhouronthetelephone?"ShesaiditwasPamwhodidthecalling.Thingsimprovedalittlebitmore,soIpointedoutthatitwasherideatobringPam."Yeah!"hesaid.(Iwashavingagreattimeplayingthisgame;itwentonforquiteawhile.)Whentheshowwasover,thegirlsfromtheElRanchocameovertoourtableandwetalkedtothemuntiltheyhadtogobackforthenextshow.ThenJohnsaid,"Iknowanicelittlebarnottoofarawayfromhere.Let'sgooverthere."

Idrovehimovertothebarandwewentin."Seethatwomanoverthere?"hesaid."She'sareallygoodlawyer.Comeon,I'llintroduceyoutoher."Johnintroducedusandexcusedhimselftogototherestroom.Henevercameback.Ithinkhewantedtogetbackwithhis"wife"andIwasbeginningtointerfere.Isaid,"Hi"tothewomanandorderedadrinkformyself(stillplayingthisgameofnotbeingimpressedandnotbeingagentleman)."Youknow,"shesaidtome,"I'moneofthebetterlawyershereinLasVegas.""Oh,no,you'renot,"Irepliedcoolly."Youmightbealawyerduringtheday,butyouknowwhatyouarerightnow?You'rejustabarflyinasmallbarinVegas."Shelikedme,andwewenttoafewplacesdancing.Shedancedverywell,andIlovetodance,sowehadagreattimetogether.Then,allofasuddeninthemiddleofadance,mybackbegantohurt.Itwassomekindofbigpain,anditstartedsuddenly.Iknownowwhatitwas:Ihadbeenupforthreedaysandnightshavingthesecrazyadventures,andIwascompletelyexhausted.Shesaidshewouldtakemehome.AssoonasIgotintoherbedIwentBONGO!Iwasout.ThenextmorningIwokeupinthisbeautifulbed.Thesunwasshining,andtherewasnosignofher.Instead,therewasamaid."Sir,"shesaid,"areyouawake?I'mreadywithbreakfast.""Well,uh..."

"I'llbringittoyou.Whatwouldyoulike?"andshewentthroughawholemenuofbreakfasts.Iorderedbreakfastandhaditinbed--inthebedofawomanIdidn'tknow;Ididn'tknowwhoshewasorwhereshecamefrom!Iaskedthemaidafewquestions,andshedidn'tknowanythingaboutthismysteriouswomaneither:Shehadjustbeenhired,anditwasherfirstdayonthejob.ShethoughtIwasthemanofthehouse,andfounditcuriousthatIwasaskingherquestions.Igotdressed,finally,andleft.Ineversawthemysteriouswomanagain.ThefirsttimeIwasinLasVegasIsatdownandfiguredouttheoddsforeverything,andIdiscoveredthattheoddsforthecraptablewere

somethinglike.493.IfIbetadollar,itwouldonlycostme1.4cents.SoIthoughttomyself,"WhyamIsoreluctanttobet?Ithardlycostsanything!"SoIstartedbetting,andrightawayIlostfivedollarsinsuccession--one,two,three,four,five.Iwassupposedtobeoutonlysevencents;instead,Iwasfivedollarsbehind!I'venevergambledsincethen(withmyownmoney,thatis).I'mveryluckythatIstartedofflosing.OnetimeIwaseatinglunchwithoneoftheshowgirls.Itwasaquiettimeintheafternoon;therewasnottheusualbigbustle,andshesaid,"Seethatmanoverthere,walkingacrossthelawn?That'sNicktheGreek.He'saprofessionalgambler."NowIknewdamnwellwhatalltheoddswereinLasVegas,soIsaid,"Howcanhebeaprofessionalgambler?""I'llcallhimover."Nickcameoverandsheintroducedus."Marilyntellsmethatyou'reaprofessionalgambler.""That'scorrect.""Well,I'dliketoknowhowit'spossibletomakeyourlivinggambling,becauseatthetable,theoddsare.493.""You'reright,"hesaid,"andI'llexplainittoyou.Idon'tbetonthetable,orthingslikethat.Ionlybetwhentheoddsareinmyfavor.""Huh?Whenaretheoddseverinyourfavor?"Iaskedincredulously."It'sreallyquiteeasy,"hesaid."I'mstandingaroundatable,whensomeguysays,'It'scomin'outnine!It'sgottabeanine!'Theguy'sexcited;hethinksit'sgoingtobeanine,andhewantstobet.NowIknowtheoddsforallthenumbersinsideout,soIsaytohim,'I'llbetyoufourtothreeit'snotanine,'andIwininthelongrun.Idon'tbetonthetable;instead,Ibetwithpeoplearoundthetablewhohaveprejudices--superstitiousideasaboutluckynumbers."Nickcontinued:"NowthatI'vegotareputation,it'seveneasier,becausepeoplewillbetwithmeevenwhentheyknowtheoddsaren'tverygood,justtohavethechanceoftellingthestory,iftheywin,ofhowtheybeatNicktheGreek.SoIreallydomakealivinggambling,andit'swonderful!"SoNicktheGreekwasreallyaneducatedcharacter.Hewasaveryniceandengagingman.Ithankedhimfortheexplanation;nowIunderstoodit.Ihavetounderstandtheworld,yousee.

AnOfferYouMustRefuse

CornellhadallkindsofdepartmentsthatIdidn'thavemuchinterestin.(Thatdoesn'tmeantherewasanythingwrongwiththem;it'sjustthatIdidn'thappentohavemuchinterestinthem.)Therewasdomesticscience,philosophy(theguysfromthisdepartmentwereparticularlyinane),andthereweretheculturalthings--musicandsoon.TherewerequiteafewpeopleIdidenjoytalkingto,ofcourse.InthemathdepartmenttherewasProfessorKacandProfessorFeller;inchemistry,ProfessorCalvin;andagreatguyinthezoologydepartment,Dr.Griffin,whofoundoutthatbatsnavigatebymakingechoes.Butitwashardtofindenoughoftheseguystotalkto,andtherewasallthisotherstuffwhichIthoughtwaslow-levelbaloney.AndIthacawasasmalltown.Theweatherwasn'treallyverygood.OnedayIwasdrivinginthecar,andtherecameoneofthosequicksnowflurriesthatyoudon'texpect,soyou'renotreadyforit,andyoufigure,"Oh,itisn'tgoingtoamounttomuch;I'llkeepongoing."Butthenthesnowgetsdeepenoughthatthecarbeginstoskidalittlebit,soyouhavetoputthechainson.Yougetoutofthecar,putthechainsoutonthesnow,andit'scold,andyou'rebeginningtoshiver.Thenyourollthecarbackontothechains,andyouhavethisproblem--orwehaditinthosedays;Idon'tknowwhatthereisnow--thatthere'sahookontheinsidethatyouhavetohookfirst.Andbecausethechainshavetogoonprettytight,it'shardtogetthehooktohook.Thenyouhavetopushthisclampdownwithyourfingers,whichbythistimearenearlyfrozen.Andbecauseyou'reontheoutsideofthetire,andthehookisontheinside,andyourhandsarecold,it'sverydifficulttocontrol.Itkeepsslipping,andit'scold,andthesnow'scomingdown,andyou'retryingtopushthisclamp,andyourhand'shurting,andthedamnthing'snotgoingdown--well,IrememberthatthatwasthemomentwhenIdecidedthatthisisinsane;theremustbeapartoftheworldthatdoesn'thavethisproblem.IrememberedthecoupleoftimesIhadvisitedCaltech,attheinvitationofProfessorBacher,whohadpreviouslybeenatCornell.HewasverysmartwhenIvisited.Heknewmeinsideout,sohesaid,"Feynman,Ihavethisextracar,whichI'mgonnalendyou.Nowhere'showyougotoHollywoodandtheSunsetStrip.Enjoyyourself."SoIdrovehiscareverynightdowntotheSunsetStrip--tothenightclubsandthebarsandtheaction.ItwasthekindofstuffIlikedfromLasVegas--prettygirls,bigoperators,andsoon.SoBacherknewhowtogetmeinterestedinCaltech.Youknowthestoryaboutthedonkeywhoisstandingexactlyinthemiddleoftwopilesofhay,anddoesn'tgotoeitherone,becauseit'sbalanced?Well,that'snothing.CornellandCaltechstartedmakingmeoffers,andassoonasIwouldmove,figuringthatCaltechwasreallybetter,

theywoulduptheirofferatCornell;andwhenIthoughtI'dstayatCornell,they'dupsomethingatCaltech.Soyoucanimaginethisdonkeybetweenthetwopilesofhay,withtheextracomplicationthatassoonashemovestowardone,theotheronegetshigher.Thatmakesitverydifficult!Theargumentthatfinallyconvincedmewasmysabbaticalleave.IwantedtogotoBrazilagain,thistimefortenmonths,andIhadjustearnedmysabbaticalleavefromCornell.Ididn'twanttolosethat,sonowthatIhadinventedareasontocometoadecision,IwroteBacherandtoldhimwhatIhaddecided.Caltechwroteback:"We'llhireyouimmediately,andwe'llgiveyouyourfirstyearasasabbaticalyear."That'sthewaytheywereacting:nomatterwhatIdecidedtodo,they'dscrewitup.SomyfirstyearatCaltechwasreallyspentinBrazil.IcametoCaltechtoteachonmysecondyear.That'showithappened.NowthatIhavebeenatCaltechsince1951,I'vebeenveryhappyhere.It'sexactlythethingforaone-sidedguylikeme.Thereareallthesepeoplewhoareclosetothetop,whoareveryinterestedinwhattheyaredoing,andwhoIcantalkto.SoI'vebeenverycomfortable.Butoneday,whenIhadn'tbeenatCaltechverylong,wehadabadattackofsmog.Itwasworsethenthanitisnow--atleastyoureyessmartedmuchmore.Iwasstandingonacorner,andmyeyeswerewatering,andIthoughttomyself,"Thisiscrazy!ThisisabsolutelyINSANE!ItwasallrightbackatCornell.I'mgettingoutofhere."SoIcalledupCornell,andaskedthemiftheythoughtitwaspossibleformetocomeback.Theysaid,"Sure!We'llsetitupandcallyoubacktomorrow."Thenextday,Ihadthegreatestluckinmakingadecision.Godmusthavesetituptohelpmedecide.Iwaswalkingtomyoffice,andaguycamerunninguptomeandsaid,"Hey,Feynman!Didyouhearwhathappened?Baadefoundthattherearetwodifferentpopulationsofstars!AllthemeasurementswehadbeenmakingofthedistancestothegalaxieshadbeenbasedonCephidvariablesofonetype,butthere'sanothertype,sotheuniverseistwice,orthree,orevenfourtimesasoldaswethought!"Iknewtheproblem.Inthosedays,theearthappearedtobeolderthantheuniverse.Theearthwasfourandahalfbillion,andtheuniversewasonlyacouple,orthreebillionyearsold.Itwasagreatpuzzle.Andthisdiscoveryresolvedallthat:Theuniversewasnowdemonstrablyolderthanwaspreviouslythought.AndIgotthisinformationrightaway--theguycamerunninguptometotellmeallthis.

Ididn'tevenmakeitacrossthecampustogettomyoffice,whenanotherguycameup--MattMeselson,abiologistwhohadminoredinphysics.(IhadbeenonhiscommitteeforhisPh.D.)Hehadbuiltthefirstofwhattheycalladensitygradientcentrifuge-itcouldmeasurethedensityofmolecules.Hesaid,"LookattheresultsoftheexperimentI'vebeendoing!"Hehadprovedthatwhenabacteriummakesanewone,there'sawholemolecule,intact,whichispassedfromonebacteriumtoanother--amoleculewenowknowasDNA.Yousee,wealwaysthinkofeverythingdividing,dividing.Sowethinkeverythinginthebacteriumdividesandgiveshalfofittothenewbacterium.Butthat'simpossible:Somewhere,thesmallestmoleculethatcontainsgeneticinformationcan'tdivideinhalf;ithastomakeacopyofitself,andsendonecopytothenewbacterium,andkeeponecopyfortheoldone.Andhehadproveditinthisway:Hefirstgrewthebacteriainheavynitrogen,andlatergrewthemallinordinarynitrogen.Ashewentalong,heweighedthemoleculesinhisdensitygradientcentrifuge.Thefirstgenerationofnewbacteriahadalloftheirchromosomemoleculesataweightexactlyinbetweentheweightofmoleculesmadewithheavy,andmoleculesmadewithordinary,nitrogen--aresultthatcouldoccurifeverythingdivided,includingthechromosomemolecules.Butinsucceedinggenerations,whenonemightexpectthattheweightofthechromosomemoleculeswouldbeone-fourth,one-eighth,andone-sixteenthofthedifferencebetweentheheavyandordinarymolecules,theweightsofthemoleculesfellintoonlytwogroups.Onegroupwasthesameweightasthefirstnewgeneration(halfwaybetweentheheavierandthelightermolecules),andtheothergroupwaslighter--theweightof

moleculesmadeinordinarynitrogen.Thepercentageofheaviermoleculeswascutinhalfineachsucceedinggeneration,butnottheirweights.Thatwastremendouslyexciting,andveryimportant--itwasafundamentaldiscovery.AndIrealized,asIfinallygottomyoffice,thatthisiswhereI'vegottobe.Wherepeoplefromalldifferentfieldsofsciencewouldtellmestuff,anditwasallexciting.ItwasexactlywhatIwanted,really.SowhenCornellcalledalittlelater,andsaidtheyweresettingeverythingup,anditwasnearlyready,Isaid,"I'msorry,I'vechangedmymindagain."ButIdecidedthennevertodecideagain.Nothing--absolutelynothing--wouldeverchangemymindagain.Whenyou'reyoung,youhaveallthesethingstoworryabout--shouldyougothere,whataboutyourmother.Andyouworry,andtrytodecide,butthensomethingelsecomesup.It'smucheasiertojustplaindecide.Nevermind--nothingisgoingtochangeyourmind.IdidthatoncewhenI

wasastudentatMIT.IgotsickandtiredofhavingtodecidewhatkindofdessertIwasgoingtohaveattherestaurant,soIdecideditwouldalwaysbechocolateicecream,andneverworriedaboutitagain--Ihadthesolutiontothatproblem.Anyway,IdecideditwouldalwaysbeCaltech.OnetimesomeonetriedtochangemymindaboutCaltech.Fermihadjustdiedashorttimebefore,andthefacultyatChicagowerelookingforsomeonetotakehisplace.TwopeoplefromChicagocameoutandaskedtovisitmeatmyhome--Ididn'tknowwhatitwasabout.TheybegantellingmeallthegoodreasonswhyIoughttogotoChicago:Icoulddothis,Icoulddothat,theyhadlotsofgreatpeoplethere,Ihadtheopportunitytodoallkindsofwonderfulthings.Ididn'taskthemhowmuchtheywouldpay,andtheykepthintingthattheywouldtellmeifIasked.Finally,theyaskedmeifIwantedtoknowthesalary."Oh,no!"Isaid."I'vealreadydecidedtostayatCaltech.MywifeMaryLouisintheotherroom,andifshehearshowmuchthesalaryis,we'llgetintoanargument.Besides,I'vedecidednottodecideanymore;I'mstayingatCaltechforgood."SoIdidn'tletthemtellmethesalarytheywereoffering.AboutamonthlaterIwasatameeting,andLeonaMarshallcameoverandsaid,"It'sfunnyyoudidn'tacceptourofferatChicago.Weweresodisappointed,andwecouldn'tunderstandhowyoucouldturndownsuchaterrificoffer.""Itwaseasy,"Isaid,"becauseIneverletthemtellmewhattheofferwas."AweeklaterIgotaletterfromher.Iopenedit,andthefirstsentencesaid,"Thesalarytheywereofferingwas--,"atremendousamountofmoney,threeorfourtimeswhatIwasmaking.Staggering!Herlettercontinued,"Itoldyouthesalarybeforeyoucouldreadanyfurther.Maybenowyouwanttoreconsider,becausethey'vetoldmethepositionisstillopen,andwe'dverymuchliketohaveyou."SoIwrotethembackaletterthatsaid,"Afterreadingthesalary,I'vedecidedthatImustrefuse.ThereasonIhavetorefuseasalarylikethatisIwouldbeabletodowhatI'vealwayswantedtodo--getawonderfulmistress,putherupinanapartment,buyhernicethings...Withthesalaryyouhaveoffered,Icouldactuallydothat,andIknowwhatwouldhappentome.I'dworryabouther,whatshe'sdoing;I'dgetintoargumentswhenIcomehome,andsoon.Allthisbotherwouldmakemeuncomfortableandunhappy.Iwouldn'tbeabletodophysicswell,anditwouldbeabigmess!WhatI'vealwayswantedtodowouldbebadforme,soI'vedecidedthatIcan'tacceptyouroffer."

Part5

TheWorldofOnePhysicistWouldYouSolvetheDiracEquation?NeartheendoftheyearIwasinBrazilIreceivedaletterfromProfessorWheelerwhichsaidthattherewasgoingtobeaninternationalmeetingoftheoreticalphysicistsinJapan,andmightIliketogo?Japanhadsomefamousphysicistsbeforethewar--ProfessorYukawa,withaNobelprize,Tomonaga,andNishina--butthiswasthefirstsignofJapancomingbacktolifeafterthewar,andweallthoughtweoughttogoandhelpthemalong.WheelerenclosedanarmyphrasebookandwrotethatitwouldheniceifwewouldalllearnalittleJapanese.IfoundaJapanesewomaninBraziltohelpmewiththepronunciation,Ipracticedliftinglittlepiecesofpaperwithchopsticks,andIreadalotaboutJapan.Atthattime,Japanwasverymysterioustome,andIthoughtitwouldbeinterestingtogotosuchastrangeandwonderfulcountry,soIworkedveryhard.Whenwegotthere,weweremetattheairportandtakentoahotelinTokyodesignedbyFrankLloydWright.ItwasanimitationofaEuropeanhotel,rightdowntothelittleguydressedinanoutfitlikethePhilipMorrisguy.Weweren'tinJapan;wemightaswellhavebeeninEuropeorAmerica!Theguywhoshowedustoourroomsstalledaround,pullingtheshadesupanddown,waitingforatip.EverythingwasjustlikeAmerica.Ourhostshadeverythingorganized.ThatfirstnightwewereserveddinnerupatthetopofthehotelbyawomandressedJapanese,butthemenuswereinEnglish.IhadgonetoalotoftroubletolearnafewphrasesinJapanese,soneartheendofthemeal,Isaidtothewaitress,"Kohi-omottekitekudasai."Shebowedandwalkedaway.MyfriendMarshakdidadoubletake:"What?What?""ItalkJapanese,"Isaid."Oh,youfaker!You'realwayskiddingaround,Feynman.""Whatareyoutalkin'about?"Isaid,inaserioustone."OK,"hesaid."Whatdidyouask?""Iaskedhertobringuscoffee."Marshakdidn'tbelieveme."I'llmakeabetwithyou,"hesaid."Ifshebringsuscoffee.Thewaitressappearedwithourcoffee,andMarshaklosthisbet.

ItturnedoutIwastheonlyguywhohadlearnedsomeJapanese--evenWheeler,whohadtoldeverybodytheyoughttolearnJapanese,hadn'tlearnedany--andIcouldn'tstanditanymore.IhadreadabouttheJapanese-stylehotels,whichweresupposedtobeverydifferentfromthehotelwewerestayingin.ThenextmorningIcalledtheJapaneseguywhowasorganizingeverythinguptomyroom."IwouldliketostayinaJapanese-stylehotel.""Iamafraidthatitisimpossible,ProfessorFeynman."IhadreadthattheJapaneseareverypolite,butveryobstinate:Youhavetokeepworkingonthem.SoIdecidedtobeasobstinateasthey,andequallypolite.Itwasabattleofminds:Ittookthirtyminutes,backandforth."WhydoyouwanttogotoaJapanese-stylehotel?""Becauseinthishotel,Idon'tfeellikeI'minJapan.""Japanese-stylehotelsarenogood.Youhavetosleeponthefloor.""That'swhatIwant;Iwanttoseehowitis.""Andtherearenochairs--yousitontheflooratthetable.""It'sOK.Thatwillbedelightful.That'swhatI'mlookingfor."Finallyheownsuptowhatthesituationis:"Ifyou'reinanotherhotel,thebuswillhavetomakeanextrastoponitswaytothemeeting.""No,no!"Isay."Inthemorning,I'llcometothishotel,andgetonthebushere.""Well,then,OK.That'sfine."That'salltherewastoit--exceptittookhalfanhourtogettotherealproblem.He'swalkingovertothetelephonetomakeacalltotheotherhotelwhensuddenlyhestops;everythingisblockedupagain.Ittakesanotherfifteenminutestodiscoverthatthistimeit'sthemail.Ifthereareanymessagesfromthemeeting,theyalreadyhaveitarrangedwheretodeliverthem."It'sOK,"Isay."WhenIcomeinthemorningtogetthebus,I'lllookforanymessagesformehereatthishotel.""Allright.That'sfine."Hegetsonthetelephoneandatlastwe'reonourwaytotheJapanese-stylehotel.AssoonasIgotthere,Iknewitwasworthit:Itwassolovely!Therewasaplaceatthefrontwhereyoutakeyourshoesoff,thenagirldressedinthetraditionaloutfit--theobi--withsandalscomesshufflingout,andtakesyourstuff;youfollowherdownahallwaywhichhasmatsonthefloor,

pastslidingdoorsmadeofpaper,andshe'sgoingcht-cht-cht-chtwithlittlesteps.Itwasallverywonderful!Wewentintomyroomandtheguywhoarrangedeverythinggotallthewaydown,prostrated,andtouchedhisnosetothefloor;shegotdownandtouchedhernosetothefloor.Ifeltveryawkward.ShouldItouchmynosetothefloor,too?

Theysaidgreetingstoeachother,heacceptedtheroomforme,andwentout.Itwasareallywonderfulroom.Therewerealltheregular,standardthingsthatyouknowofnow,butitwasallnewtome.Therewasalittlealcovewithapaintinginit,avasewithpussywillowsnicelyarranged,atablealongthefloorwithacushionnearby,andattheendoftheroomweretwoslidingdoorswhichopenedontoagarden.Theladywhowassupposedtotakecareofmewasamiddle-agedwoman.Shehelpedmeundressandgavemeayukata,asimpleblueandwhiterobe,towearatthehotel.Ipushedopenthedoorsandadmiredthelovelygarden,andsatdownatthetabletodoalittlework.Iwasn'ttheremorethanfifteenortwentyminuteswhensomethingcaughtmyeye.Ilookedup,outtowardsthegarden,andIsaw,sittingattheentrancetothedoor,drapedinthecorner,averybeautifulyoungJapanesewoman,inamostlovelyoutfit.IhadreadalotaboutthecustomsofJapan,andIhadanideaofwhyshewassenttomyroom.Ithought,"Thismightbeveryinteresting!"SheknewalittleEnglish."Wouldyouriketoseethegarden?"sheasked.IputontheshoesthatwentwiththeyukataIwaswearing,andwewentoutintothegarden.Shetookmyarmandshowedmeeverything.ItturnedoutthatbecausesheknewalittleEnglish,thehotelmanagerthoughtIwouldlikehertoshowmethegarden--that'sallitwas.Iwasabitdisappointed,ofcourse,butthiswasameetingofcultures,andIknewitwaseasytogetthewrongidea.Sometimelaterthewomanwhotookcareofmyroomcameinandsaidsomething--inJapanese--aboutabath.IknewthatJapanesebathswereinterestingandwaseagertotryit,soIsaid,"Hai."IhadreadthatJapanesebathsareverycomplicated.Theyusealotofwaterthat'sheatedfromtheoutside,andyouaren'tsupposedtogetsoapintothebathwaterandspoilitforthenextguy.Igotupandwalkedintothelavatorysection,wherethesinkwas,andIcouldhearsomeguyinthenextsectionwiththedoorclosed,takinga

bath.Suddenlythedoorslidesopen:themantakingthebathlookstoseewhoisintruding."Professor!"hesaystomeinEnglish."That'saverybaderrortogointothelavatorywhensomeoneelsehasthebath!"ItwasProfessorYukawa!HetoldmethatthewomanhadnodoubtaskeddoIwantabath,andifso,shewouldgetitreadyformeandtellmewhenthebathroomwasfree.Butofallthepeopleintheworldtomakethatserioussocialerrorwith,IwasluckyitwasProfessorYukawa!ThatJapanese-stylehotelwasdelightful,especiallywhenpeoplecametoseemethere.Theotherguyswouldcomeintomyroomandwe'dsitonthefloorandstarttotalk.Wewouldn'tbetheremorethanfiveminuteswhenthewomanwhotookcareofmyroomwouldcomeinwithatrayofcandiesandtea.Itwasasifyouwereahostinyourownhome,andthehotelstaffwashelpingyoutoentertainyourguests.Here,whenyouhaveguestsatyourhotelroom,nobodycares;youhavetocallupforservice,andsoon.Eatingmealsatthehotelwasalsodifferent.Thegirlwhobringsinthefoodstayswithyouwhileyoueat,soyou'renotalone.Icouldn'thavetoogoodaconversationwithher,butitwasallright.Andthefoodiswonderful.Forinstance,thesoupcomesinabowlthat'scovered.Youliftthecoverandthere'sabeautifulpicture:littlepiecesofonionfloatinginthesoupjustso;it'sgorgeous.Howthefoodlooksontheplateisveryimportant.IhaddecidedthatIwasgoingtoliveJapaneseasmuchasIcould.Thatmeanteatingfish.IneverlikedfishwhenIwasgrowingup,butIfoundoutinJapanthatitwasachildishthing:Iatealotoffish,andenjoyedit.(WhenIwentbacktotheUnitedStatesthefirstthingIdidwasgotoafishplace.Itwashorrible--justlikeitwasbefore.Icouldn'tstandit.Ilaterdiscoveredtheanswer:Thefishhastobevery,veryfresh--ifitisn't,itgetsacertaintastethatbothersme.)OnetimewhenIwaseatingattheJapanese-stylehotelIwasservedaround,hardthing,aboutthesizeofaneggyolk,inacupofsomeyellowliquid.SofarIhadeateneverythinginJapan,butthisthingfrightenedme:itwasallconvoluted,likeabrainlooks.WhenIaskedthegirlwhatitwas,shereplied"kuri."Thatdidn'thelpmuch.Ifigureditwasprobablyanoctopusegg,orsomething.Iateit,withsometrepidation,becauseIwantedtoheasmuchinJapanaspossible.(Ialsorememberedtheword"kuri"asifmylifedependedonit--Ihaven'tforgottenitinthirtyyears.)ThenextdayIaskedaJapaneseguyattheconferencewhatthisconvolutedthingwas.ItoldhimIhadfounditverydifficulttoeat.Whatthehellwas"kuri"?"Itmeans'chestnut.'"hereplied.

SomeoftheJapaneseIhadlearnedhadquiteaneffect.Onetime,whenthebuswastakingalongtimetogetstarted,someguysays,"Hey,Feynman!YouknowJapanese;tell'emtogetgoing!"Isaid,"Hayaku!Hayaku!Ikimasho!Ikimasho!"--whichmeans,"Let'sgo!Let'sgo!Hurry!Hurry!"IrealizedmyJapanesewasoutofcontrol.Ihadlearnedthesephrasesfromamilitaryphrasebook,andtheymusthavebeenveryrude,becauseeveryoneatthehotelbegantoscurrylikemice,saying,"Yes,sir!Yessir!"andthebusleftrightaway.ThemeetinginJapanwasintwoparts:onewasinTokyo,andtheotherwasinKyoto.InthebusonthewaytoKyotoItoldmyfriendAbrahamPaisabouttheJapanese-stylehotel,andhewantedtotryit.WestayedattheHotelMiyako,whichhadbothAmerican-styleandJapanese-stylerooms,andPaissharedaJapanese-styleroomwithme.Thenextmorningtheyoungwomantakingcareofourroomfixesthebath,whichwasrightinourroom.Sometimelatershereturnswithatraytodeliverbreakfast.I'mpartlydressed.Sheturnstomeandsays,politely,"Ohayo,gozaimasu,"whichmeans,"Goodmorning."Paisisjustcomingoutofthebath,soppingwetandcompletelynude.Sheturnstohimandwithequalcomposuresays,"Ohayo,gozaimasu,"andputsthetraydownforus.Paislooksatmeandsays,"God,areweuncivilized!"

WerealizedthatinAmericaifthemaidwasdeliveringbreakfastandtheguy'sstandingthere,starknaked,therewouldbelittlescreamsandabigfuss.ButinJapantheywerecompletelyusedtoit,andwefeltthattheyweremuchmoreadvancedandcivilizedaboutthosethingsthanwewere.Ihadbeenworkingatthattimeonthetheoryofliquidhelium,andhadfiguredouthowthelawsofquantumdynamicsexplainthestrangephenomenaofsuper-fluidity.Iwasveryproudofthisachievement,andwasgoingtogiveatalkaboutmyworkattheKyotomeeting.ThenightbeforeIgavemytalktherewasadinner,andthemanwhosatdownnexttomewasnoneotherthanProfessorOnsager,atopnotchexpertinsolid-statephysicsandtheproblemsofliquidhelium.Hewasoneoftheseguyswhodoesn'tsayverymuch,butanytimehesaidanything,itwassignificant."Well,Feynman,"hesaidinagruffvoice,"Ihearyouthinkyouhaveunderstoodliquidhelium."

"Well,yes.."Hoompf."Andthat'sallhesaidtomeduringthewholedinner!Sothatwasn'tmuchencouragement.ThenextdayIgavemytalkandexplainedallaboutliquidhelium.Attheend,IcomplainedthattherewasstillsomethingIhadn'tbeenabletofigureout:thatis,whetherthetransitionbetweenonephaseandtheotherphaseofliquidheliumwasfirst-order(likewhenasolidmeltsoraliquidboils--thetemperatureisconstant)orsecond-order(likeyouseesometimesinmagnetism,inwhichthetemperaturekeepschanging).ThenProfessorOnsagergotupandsaidinadourvoice,"Well,ProfessorFeynmanisnewinourfield,andIthinkheneedstobeeducated.There'ssomethingheoughttoknow,andweshouldtellhim."Ithought,"Geesus!WhatdidIdowrong?"Onsagersaid,"WeshouldtellFeynmanthatnobodyhaseverfiguredouttheorderofanytransitioncorrectlyfromfirstprinciples,sothefactthathistheorydoesnotallowhimtoworkouttheordercorrectlydoesnotmeanthathehasn'tunderstoodalltheotheraspectsofliquidheliumsatisfactorily."Itturnedouttobeacompliment,butfromthewayhestartedout,IthoughtIwasreallygoingtogetit!Itwasn'tmorethanadaylaterwhenIwasinmyroomandthetelephonerang.ItwasTimemagazine.Theguyonthelinesaid,"We'reveryinterestedinyourwork.Doyouhaveacopyofityoucouldsendus?"IhadneverbeeninTimeandwasveryexcited.Iwasproudofmywork,whichhadbeenreceivedwellatthemeeting,soIsaid,"Sure!""Fine.PleasesendittoourTokyobureau."Theguygavemetheaddress.Iwasfeelinggreat.Irepeatedtheaddress,andtheguysaid,"That'sright.Thankyouverymuch,Mr.Pais.""Oh,no!"Isaid,startled."I'mnotPais;it'sPaisyouwant?Excuseme,I'lltellhimthatyouwanttospeaktohimwhenhecomesback."AfewhourslaterPaiscamein:"Hey,Pais!Pais!"Isaid,inanexcitedvoice."Timemagazinecalled!Theywantyoutosend'emacopyofthepaperyou'regiving.""Aw!"hesays."Publicityisawhore!"Iwasdoublytakenaback.I'vesincefoundoutthatPaiswasright,butinthosedays,IthoughtitwouldbewonderfultohavemynameinTimemagazine.

ThatwasthefirsttimeIwasinJapan.Iwaseagertogoback,andsaidIwouldgotoanyuniversitytheywantedmeto.SotheJapanesearrangedawholeseriesofplacestovisitforafewdaysatatime.BythistimeIwasmarriedtoMaryLou,andwewereentertainedwhereverwewent.Atoneplacetheyputonawholeceremonywithdancing,usuallyperformedonlyforlargergroupsoftourists,especiallyforus.Atanotherplaceweweremetrightattheboatbyallthestudents.Atanotherplace,themayormetus.Oneparticularplacewestayedwasalittle,modestplaceinthewoods,wheretheemperorwouldstaywhenhecameby.Itwasaverylovelyplace,surroundedbywoods,justbeautiful,thestreamselectedwithcare.Ithadacertaincalmness,aquietelegance.Thattheemperorwouldgotosuchaplacetostayshowedagreatersensitivitytonature,Ithink,thanwhatwewereusedtointheWest.AtalltheseplaceseverybodyworkinginphysicswouldtellmewhattheyweredoingandI'ddiscussitwiththem.Theywouldtellmethegeneralproblemtheywereworkingon,andwouldbegintowriteabunchofequations."Waitaminute,"Iwouldsay."Isthereaparticularexampleofthisgeneralproblem?""Whyyes;ofcourse.""Good.Givemeoneexample."Thatwasforme:Ican'tunderstandanythingingeneralunlessI'mcarryingalonginmymindaspecificexampleandwatchingitgo.SomepeoplethinkinthebeginningthatI'mkindofslowandIdon'tunderstandtheproblem,becauseIaskalotofthese"dumb"questions:"Isacathodeplusorminus?Isanan-ionthisway,orthatway?"Butlater,whentheguy'sinthemiddleofabunchofequations,he'llsaysomethingandI'llsay,"Waitaminute!There'sanerror!Thatcan'tberight!"Theguylooksathisequations,andsureenough,afterawhile,hefindsthemistakeandwonders,"Howthehelldidthisguy,whohardlyunderstoodatthebeginning,findthatmistakeinthemessofalltheseequations?"HethinksI'mfollowingthestepsmathematically,butthat'snotwhatI'mdoing.Ihavethespecific,physicalexampleofwhathe'stryingtoanalyze,andIknowfrominstinctandexperiencethepropertiesofthething.Sowhentheequationsaysitshouldbehaveso-and-so,andIknowthat'sthewrongwayaround,Ijumpupandsay,"Wait!There'samistake!"

SoinJapanIcouldn'tunderstandordiscussanybody'sworkunlesstheycouldgivemeaphysicalexample,andmostofthemcouldn'tfindone.Ofthosewhocould,itwasoftenaweakexample,onewhichcouldbesolvedbyamuchsimplermethodofanalysis.SinceIwasperpetuallyaskingnotformathematicalequations,butforphysicalcircumstancesofwhattheyweretryingtoworkout,myvisitwassummarizedinamimeographedpapercirculatedamongthescientists(itwasamodestbuteffectivesystemofcommunicationtheyhadcookedupafterthewar)withthetitle,"Feynman'sBombardments,andOurReactions."AftervisitinganumberofuniversitiesIspentsomemonthsattheYukawaInstituteinKyoto.Ireallyenjoyedworkingthere.Everythingwassonice:You'dcometowork,takeyourshoesoff,andsomeonewouldcomeandserveyouteainthemorningwhenyoufeltlikeit.Itwasverypleasant.WhileinKyotoItriedtolearnJapanesewithavengeance.Iworkedmuchharderatit,andgottoapointwhereIcouldgoaroundintaxisanddothings.ItooklessonsfromaJapanesemaneverydayforanhour.Onedayhewasteachingmethewordfor"see.""Allright,"hesaid."Youwanttosay,'MayIseeyourgarden?'Whatdoyousay?"ImadeupasentencewiththewordthatIhadjustlearned."No,no!"hesaid."Whenyousaytosomeone,'Wouldyouliketoseemygarden?youusethefirst'see.'Butwhenyouwanttoseesomeoneelse'sgarden,youmustuseanother'see,'whichismorepolite.""Wouldyouliketoglanceatmylousygarden?"isessentiallywhatyou'resayinginthefirstcase,butwhenyouwanttolookattheotherfella'sgarden,youhavetosaysomethinglike,"MayIobserveyourgorgeousgarden?"Sothere'stwodifferentwordsyouhavetouse.Thenhegavemeanotherone:"Yougotoatemple,andyouwanttolookatthegardens..."Imadeupasentence,thistimewiththepolite"see.""No,no!"hesaid."Inthetemple,thegardensaremuchmoreelegant.Soyouhavetosaysomethingthatwouldbeequivalentto'MayIhangmyeyesonyourmostexquisitegardens?'"Threeorfourdifferentwordsforoneidea,becausewhenI'mdoingit,it'smiserable;whenyou'redoingit,it'selegant.IwaslearningJapanesemainlyfortechnicalthings,soIdecidedtocheckifthissameproblemexistedamongthescientists.Attheinstitutethenextday,Isaidtotheguysintheoffice,"HowwouldIsayinJapanese,'IsolvetheDiracEquation'?"

Theysaidsuch-and-so."OK.NowIwanttosay,'WouldyousolvetheDiracEquation?'--howdoIsaythat?""Well,youhavetouseadifferentwordfor'solve,'"theysay."Why?"Iprotested."WhenIsolveit,Idothesamedamnthingaswhenyousolveit!""Well,yes,butit'sadifferentword--it'smorepolite."Igaveup.Idecidedthatwasn'tthelanguageforme,andstoppedlearningJapanese.

The7PercentSolutionTheproblemwastofindtherightlawsofbetadecay.Thereappearedtobetwoparticles,whichwerecalledatanandatheta.Theyseemedtohavealmostexactlythesamemass,butonedisintegratedintotwopions,andtheotherintothreepions.Notonlydidtheyseemtohavethesamemass,buttheyalsohadthesamelifetime,whichisafunnycoincidence.Soeverybodywasconcernedaboutthis.AtameetingIwentto,itwasreportedthatwhenthesetwoparticleswereproducedinacyclotronatdifferentanglesanddifferentenergies,theywerealwaysproducedinthesameproportions--somanytauscomparedtosomanythetas.Now,onepossibility,ofcourse,wasthatitwasthesameparticle,whichsometimesdecayedintotwopions,andsometimesintothreepions.Butnobodywouldallowthat,becausethereisalawcalledtheparityrule,whichisbasedontheassumptionthatallthelawsofphysicsaremirror-imagesymmetrical,andsaysthatathingthatcangointotwopionscan'talsogointothreepions.AtthatparticulartimeIwasnotreallyquiteuptothings:Iwasalwaysalittlebehind.Everybodyseemedtobesmart,andIdidn'tfeelIwaskeepingup.Anyway,IwassharingaroomwithaguynamedMartinBlock,anexperimenter.Andoneeveninghesaidtome,"Whyareyouguyssoinsistentonthisparityrule?Maybethetauandthetaarethesameparticle.Whatwouldbetheconsequencesiftheparityrulewerewrong?"Ithoughtaminuteandsaid,"Itwouldmeanthatnature'slawsaredifferentfortherighthandandthelefthand,thatthere'sawaytodefinetherighthandbyphysicalphenomena.Idon'tknowthatthat'ssoterrible,thoughtheremustbesomebadconsequencesofthat,butIdon'tknow.Whydon'tyouasktheexpertstomorrow?",-

Hesaid,"No,theywon'tlistentome.Youask."Sothenextday,atthemeeting,whenwewerediscussingthetau-thetapuzzle,Oppenheimersaid,"Weneedtohearsomenew,wilderideasaboutthisproblem."SoIgotupandsaid,"I'maskingthisquestionforMartinBlock:Whatwouldbetheconsequencesiftheparityrulewaswrong?"MurrayGell-Mannoftenteasedmeaboutthis,sayingIdidn'thavethenervetoaskthequestionformyself.Butthat'snotthereason.Ithoughtitmightverywellbeanimportantidea.Lee,ofLeeandYang,answeredsomethingcomplicated,andasusualIdidn'tunderstandverywell.Attheendofthemeeting,Blockaskedniewhathesaid,andIsaidIdidn'tknow,butasfarasIcouldtell,itwasstillopen--therewasstillapossibility.Ididn'tthinkitwaslikely,butIthoughtitwaspossible.NormRamseyaskedmeifIthoughtheshoulddoanexperimentlookingforparitylawviolation,andIreplied,"Thebestwaytoexplainitis,I'llbetyouonlyfiftytooneyoudon'tfindanything."Hesaid,"That'sgoodenoughforme."Butheneverdidtheexperiment.Anyway,thediscoveryofparitylawviolationwasmade,experimentally,byWu,andthisopenedupawholebunchofnewpossibilitiesforbetadecaytheory,Italsounleashedawholehostofexperimentsimmediatelyafterthat.Someshowedelectronscomingoutofthenucleispuntotheleft,andsometotheright,andtherewereallkindsofexperiments,allkindsofinterestingdiscoveriesaboutparity.Butthedataweresoconfusingthatnobodycouldputthingstogether.AtonepointtherewasameetinginRochester--theyearlyRochesterConference.Iwasstillalwaysbehind,andLeewasgivinghispaperontheviolationofparity.HeandYanghadcometotheconclusionthatparitywasviolated,andflowhewasgivingthetheoryforit.DuringtheconferenceIwasstayingwithmysisterinSyracuse.Ibroughtthepaperhomeandsaidtoher,"Ican'tunderstandthesethingsthatLeeandYangaresaying.It'sallsocomplicated.""No,"shesaid,"whatyoumeanisnotthatyoucan'tunderstandit,butthatyoudidn'tinventit.Youdidn'tfigureitoutyourownway,fromhearingtheclue.Whatyoushoulddoisimagineyou'reastudentagain,andtakethispaperupstairs,readeverylineofit,andchecktheequations.

Thenyou'llunderstanditveryeasily."Itookheradvice,andcheckedthroughthewholething,andfoundittobeveryobviousandsimple.Ihadbeenafraidtoreadit,thinkingitwastoodifficult.ItremindedmeofsomethingIhaddonealongtimeagowithleftandrightunsymmetricalequations,Nowitbecamekindofclear,whenIlookedatLee'sformulas,thatthesolutiontoitallwasmuchsimpler:Everythingcomesoutcoupledtotheleft.Fortheelectronandthemuon,mypredictionswerethesameasLee's,exceptIchangedsomesignsaround.Ididn'trealizeitatthetime,butLeehadtakenonlythesimplestexampleofmuoncoupling,andhadn'tprovedthatallmuonswouldbefulltotheright,whereasaccordingtomytheory,allmuonswouldhavetobefullautomatically.Therefore,Ihad,infact,apredictionontopofwhathehad.Ihaddifferentsigns,butIdidn'trealizethatIalsohadthisquantityright.Ipredictedafewthingsthatnobodyhadexperimentsforyet,butwhenitcametotheneutronandproton,Icouldn'tmakeitfitwellwithwhatwasthenknownaboutneutronandprotoncoupling:itwaskindofmessy.Thenextday,whenIwentbacktothemeeting,averykindmannamedKenCase,whowasgoingtogiveapaperonsomething,gavemefiveminutesofhisallottedtimetopresentmyidea.IsaidIwasconvincedthateverythingwascoupledtotheleft,andthatthesignsfortheelectronandmuonarereversed,butIwasstrugglingwiththeneutron.Latertheexperimentersaskedmesomequestionsaboutmypredictions,andthenIwenttoBrazilforthesummer.WhenIcamebacktotheUnitedStates,Iwantedtoknowwhatthesituationwaswithbetadecay.IwenttoProfessorWu'slaboratoryatColumbia,andshewasn'tthere,butanotherladywastherewhoshowedmeallkindsofdata,allkindsofchaoticnumbersthatdidn'tfitwithanything.Theelectrons,whichinmymodelwouldhaveallcomeoutspinningtotheleftinthebetadecay,cameoutontherightinsomecases.Nothingfitanything.

WhenIgotbacktoCaltech,Iaskedsomeoftheexperimenterswhatthesituationwaswithbetadecay.Irememberthreeguys,HansJensen,AaldertWapstra,andFelixBoehm,sittingmedownonalittlestool,andstartingtotellmeallthesefacts:experimentalresultsfromotherpartsofthecountry,andtheirownexperimentalresults.SinceIknewthoseguys,andhowcarefultheywere,Ipaidmoreattentiontotheirresultsthantothe

others.Theirresults,alone,werenotsoinconsistent;itwasalltheothersplustheirs.Finallytheygetallthisstuffintome,andtheysay,"Thesituationissomixedupthatevensomeofthethingsthey'veestablishedforyearsarebeingquestioned--suchasthebetadecayoftheneutronisSandT.It'ssomessedup.MurraysaysitmightevenbeVandA."Ijumpupfromthestoolandsay,"ThenIunderstandEVVVVVERYTHING!"TheythoughtIwasjoking.ButthethingthatIhadtroublewithattheRochestermeeting--theneutronandprotondisintegration:everythingfitbutthat,andifitwasVandAinsteadofSandT,thatwouldfittoo.ThereforeIhadthewholetheory!ThatnightIcalculatedallkindsofthingswiththistheory.ThefirstthingIcalculatedwastherateofdisintegrationofthemuonandtheneutron.Theyshouldbeconnectedtogether,ifthistheorywasright,byacertainrelationship,anditwasrightto9percent.That'sprettyclose,9percent.Itshouldhavebeenmoreperfectthanthat,hutitwascloseenough.Iwentonandcheckedsomeotherthings,whichfit,andnewthingsfit,newthingsfit,andIwasveryexcited.Itwasthefirsttime,andtheonlytime,inmycareerthatIknewalawofnaturethatnobodyelseknew.(Ofcourseitwasn'ttrue,butfindingoutlaterthatatleastMurrayGell-Mann--andalsoSudarshanandMarshak--hadworkedoutthesametheorydidn'tspoilmyfun.)TheotherthingsIhaddonebeforeweretotakesomebodyelse'stheoryandimprovethemethodofcalculating,ortakeanequation,suchastheSchrodingerEquation,toexplainaphenomenon,suchashelium.Weknowtheequation,andweknowthephenomenon,buthowdoesitwork?IthoughtaboutDirac,whohadhisequationforawhile--anewequationwhichtoldhowanelectronbehaved--andIhadthisnewequationforbetadecay,whichwasn'tasvitalastheDiracEquation,butitwasgood.It'stheonlytimeIeverdiscoveredanewlaw.IcalledupmysisterinNewYorktothankherforgettingmetositdownandworkthroughthatpaperbyLeeandYangattheRochesterConference.Afterfeelinguncomfortableandbehind,nowIwasin;Ihadmadeadiscovery,justfromwhatshesuggested.Iwasabletoenterphysicsagain,sotospeak,andIwantedtothankherforthat.Itoldherthateverythingfit,exceptforthe9percent.Iwasveryexcited,andkeptoncalculating,andthingsthatfitkeptontumblingout:theyfitautomatically,withoutastrain.Ihadbeguntoforgetaboutthe9percentbynow,becauseeverythingelsewascomingoutright.Iworkedveryhardintothenight,sittingatasmalltableinthekitchennexttoawindow.Itwasgettinglaterandlater--about2:00or3:00AM.

I'mworkinghard,gettingallthesecalculationspackedsolidwiththingsthatfit,andI'mthinking,andconcentrating,andit'sdark,andit'squiet...whensuddenlythere'saTAC-TAC-TAC-TAC--loud,onthewindow.Ilook,andthere'sthiswhiteface,rightatthewindow,onlyinchesaway,andIscreamwithshockandsurprise!ItwasaladyIknewwhowasangryatmebecauseIhadcomebackfromvacationanddidn'timmediatelycallheruptotellherIwasback.Iletherin,andtriedtoexplainthatIwasjustnowverybusy,thatIhadjustdiscoveredsomething,anditwasveryimportant.Isaid,"Pleasegooutandletmefinishit."Shesaid,"No,Idon'twanttobotheryou.I'lljustsithereinthelivingroom."Isaid,"Well,allright,butit'sverydifficult."Shedidn'texactlysitinthelivingroom.Thebestwaytosayitisshesortofsquattedinacorner,holdingherhandstogether,notwantingto"bother"me.Ofcourseherpurposewastobotherthehelloutofme!Andshesucceeded--Icouldn'tignoreher.Igotveryangryandupset,andIcouldn'tstandit.Ihadtodothiscalculating;Iwasmakingabigdiscoveryandwasterriblyexcited,andsomehow,itwasmoreimportanttomethanthislady--atleastatthatmoment.Idon'trememberhowIfinallygotheroutofthere,butitwasverydifficult.Afterworkingsomemore,itgottobeverylateatnight,andIwashungry.Iwalkedupthemaimsstreettoalittlerestaurantfiveortenblocksaway,asIhadoftendonebefore,lateatnight.OnearlyoccasionsIwasoftenstoppedbythepolice,becauseIwouldbewalkingalong,thinking,andthenI'dstop--sometimesanideacomesthat'sdifficultenoughthatyoucan'tkeepwalking;youhavetomakesureofsomething.SoI'dstop,andsometimesI'dholdmyhandsoutintheair,sayingtomyself,"Thedistancebetweentheseisthatway,andthenthiswouldturnoverthisway..."I'dbemovingmyhands,standinginthestreet,whenthepolicewouldcome:"Whatisyourname?Wheredoyoulive?Whatareyoudoing?""Oh!Iwasthinking.I'msorry;Ilivehere,andgooftentotherestaurant..."Afterabittheyknewwhoitwas,andtheydidn'tstopmeanymore.SoIwenttotherestaurant,andwhileI'meatingI'msoexcitedthatItellaladythatIjustmadeadiscovery.Shestartsin:She'sthewifeofafireman,orforester,orsomething.She'sverylonely--allthisstuffthatI'mnotinterestedin.Sothathappens.ThenextmorningwhenIgottoworkIwenttoWapstra,Boehm,andJensen,andtoldthem,"I'vegotitallworkedout.Everythingfits."

Christy,whowasthere,too,said,"Whatbeta-decayconstantdidyouuse?""TheonefromSo-and-So'sbook.""Butthat'sbeenfoundouttobewrong.Recentmeasurementshaveshownit'soffby7percent."ThenIrememberthe9percent.Itwaslikeapredictionforme:Iwenthomeandgotthistheorythatsaystheneutrondecayshouldbeoffby9percent,andtheytellmethenextmorningthat,asamatteroffact,it's7percentchanged.Butisitchangedfrom9to16,whichisbad,orfrom9to2,whichisgood?JustthenmysistercallsfromNewYork:"Howaboutthe9percent--what'shappened?"

"I'vejustdiscoveredthatthere'snewdata:7percent...""Whichway?""I'mtryingtofindout.I'llcallyouback."IwassoexcitedthatIcouldn'tthink.It'slikewhenyou'rerushingforanairplane,andyoudon'tknowwhetheryou'relateornot,andyoujustcan'tmakeit,whensomebodysays,"It'sdaylightsavingtime!"Yes,butwhichway?Youcan'tthinkintheexcitement.SoChristywentintooneroom,andIwentintoanotherroom,eachofustobequiet,sowecouldthinkitthrough:Thismovesthisway,andthatmovesthatway--itwasn'tverydifficult,really;it'sjustexciting.Christycameout,andIcameout,andwebothagreed:It's2percent,whichiswellwithinexperimentalerror.Afterall,iftheyjustchangedtheconstantby7percent,the2percentcouldhavebeenanerror.Icalledmysisterback:"Twopercent."Thetheorywasright.(Actually,itwaswrong:itwasoff,really,by1percent,forareasonwehadn'tappreciated,whichwasonlyunderstoodlaterbyNicolaCabibbo.Sothat2percentwasnotallexperimental.)MurrayGell-Manncomparedandcombinedourideasandwroteapaperonthetheory.Thetheorywasratherneat;itwasrelativelysimple,anditfitalotofstuff.ButasItoldyou,therewasanawfullotofchaoticdata.Andinsomecases,weevenwentsofarastostatethattheexperimentswereinerror.

AgoodexampleofthiswasanexperimentbyValentineTelegdi,inwhichhemeasuredthenumberofelectronsthatgooutineachdirectionwhenaneutrondisintegrates.Ourtheoryhadpredictedthatthenumbershouldbethesameinalldirections,whereasTelegdifoundthat11percentmorecameoutinonedirectionthantheothers.Telegdiwasanexcellentexperimenter,andverycareful.Andonce,whenhewasgivingatalksomewhere,hereferredtoourtheoryandsaid,"Thetroublewiththeoristsis,theyneverpayattentiontotheexperiments!"Telegdialsosentusaletter,whichwasn'texactlyscathing,butneverthelessshowedhewasconvincedthatourtheorywaswrong.Attheendhewrote,"TheF-C(Feynman--Gell-Mann)theoryofbetadecayisnoF-C."Murraysays,"Whatshouldwedoaboutthis?Youknow,Telegdi'sprettygood."Isay,"Wejustwait."Twodayslaterthere'sanotherletterfromTelegdi.He'sacompleteconvert.Hefoundoutfromourtheorythathehaddisregardedthepossibilitythattheprotonrecoilingfromtheneutronisnotthesameinalldirections.Hehadassumeditwasthesame.Byputtingincorrectionsthatourtheorypredictedinsteadoftheoneshehadbeenusing,theresultsstraightenedoutandwereincompleteagreement.IknewthatTelegdiwasexcellent,anditwouldbehardtogoupstreamagainsthim.ButIwasconvincedbythattimethatsomethingmustbewrongwithhisexperiment,andthathewouldfindit--he'smuchbetteratfindingitthanwewouldhe.That'swhyIsaidweshouldn'ttrytofigureitoutbutjustwait.IwenttoProfessorBacherandtoldhimaboutoursuccess,andhesaid,"Yes,youcomeoutandsaythattheneutron-protoncouplingisVinsteadofT.EverybodyusedtothinkitwasT.Whereisthefundamentalexperimentthatsaysit'sT?Whydon'tyoulookattheearlyexperimentsandfindoutwhatwaswrongwiththem?"Iwentoutandfoundtheoriginalarticleontheexperimentthatsaidtheneutron-protoncouplingisT,andIwasshockedbysomething.Irememberedreadingthatarticleoncebefore(backinthedayswhenIreadeveryarticleinthePhysicalReview--itwassmallenough).AndIremembered,whenIsawthisarticleagain,lookingatthatcurveandthinking,"Thatdoesn'tproveanything!"Yousee,itdependedononeortwopointsattheveryedgeoftherangeofthedata,andthere'saprinciplethatapointontheedgeoftherangeofthedata--thelastpoint--isn'tverygood,becauseifitwas,they'dhaveanotherpointfurtheralong.AndIhadrealizedthatthewholeideathat

neutron-protoncouplingisTwasbasedonthelastpoint,whichwasn'tverygood,andthereforeit'snotproved.Iremembernoticingthat!AndwhenIbecameinterestedinbetadecay,directly,Ireadallthesereportsbythe"beta-decayexperts,"whichsaidit'sT.Ineverlookedattheoriginaldata;Ionlyreadthosereports,likeadope.HadIbeenagoodphysicist,whenIthoughtoftheoriginalideabackattheRochesterConferenceIwouldhaveimmediatelylookedup"howstrongdoweknowit'sT?"--thatwouldhavebeenthesensiblethingtodo.IwouldhaverecognizedrightawaythatIhadalreadynoticeditwasn'tsatisfactorilyproved.SincethenIneverpayanyattentiontoanythingby"experts."Icalculateeverythingmyself.Whenpeoplesaidthequarktheorywasprettygood,IgottwoPh.D.s,FinnRavndalandMarkKislinger,togothroughthewholeworkswithme,justsoIcouldcheckthatthethingwasreallygivingresultsthatfitfairlywell,andthatitwasasignificantlygoodtheory.I'llnevermakethatmistakeagain,readingtheexperts'opinions.Ofcourse,youonlyliveonelife,andyoumakeallyourmistakes,andlearnwhatnottodo,andthat'stheendofyou.

ThirteenTimesOnetimeascienceteacherfromthelocalcitycollegecamearoundandaskedmeifI'dgiveatalkthere.Heofferedmefiftydollars,butItoldhimIwasn'tworriedaboutthemoney."That'sthecitycollege,right?""Yes."IthoughtabouthowmuchpaperworkIusuallyhadtogetinvolvedwithwhenIdealwiththegovernment,soIlaughedandsaid,"I'llbegladtogivethetalk.There'sonlyoneconditiononthewholething"--Ipulledanumberoutofahatandcontinued--"thatIdon'thavetosignmynamemorethanthirteentimes,andthatincludesthecheck!"Theguylaughstoo."Thirteentimes!Noproblem."Sothenitstarts.FirstIhavetosignsomethingthatsaysI'mloyaltothegovernment,orelseIcan'ttalkinthecitycollege.AndIhavetosignitdouble,OK?ThenIhavetosignsomekindofreleasetothecity--Ican'trememberwhat.Prettysoonthenumbersarebeginningtoclimbup.IhavetosignthatIwassuitablyemployedasaprofessor--toensure,ofcourse,sinceit'sacitything,thatnojerkattheotherendwashiringhiswifeorafriendtocomeandnotevengivethelecture.Therewereallkindsofthingstoensure,andthesignatureskeptmounting.

Well,theguywhostartedoutlaughinggotprettynervous,butwejustmadeit.Isignedexactlytwelvetimes.Therewasonemoreleftforthecheck,soIwentaheadandgavethetalk.Afewdayslatertheguycamearoundtogivemethecheck,andhewasreallysweating.Hecouldn'tgivemethemoneyunlessIsignedaformsayingIreallygavethetalk.Isaid,"IfIsigntheform,Ican'tsignthecheck.Butyouwerethere.Youheardthetalk;whydon'tyousignit?""Look,"hesaid,"Isn'tthiswholethingrathersilly?""No.Itwasanarrangementwemadeinthebeginning.Wedidn'tthinkitwasreallygoingtogettothirteen,hutweagreedonit,andIthinkweshouldsticktoittotheend."Hesaid,"I'vebeenworkingveryhard,callingallaround.I'vebeentryingeverything,andtheytellmeit'simpossible.Yousimplycan'tgetyourmoneyunlessyousigntheform.""It'sOK,"Isaid."I'veonlysignedtwelvetimes,andIgavethetalk.Idon'tneedthemoney.""ButIhatetodothistoyou.""It'sallright.Wemadeadeal;don'tworry."Thenextdayhecalledmeup."Theycan'tnotgiveyouthemoney!They'vealreadyearmarkedthemoneyandthey'vegotitsetaside,sotheyhavetogiveittoyou!""OK,iftheyhavetogivemethemoney,letthemgivemethemoney.""Butyouhavetosigntheform.""Iwon'tsigntheform!"Theywerestuck.Therewasnomiscellaneouspotwhichwasformoneythatthismandeservesbutwon'tsignfor.Finally,itgotstraightenedout.Ittookalongtime,anditwasverycomplicated--butIusedthethirteenthsignaturetocashmycheck.

ItSoundsGreektoMe!

Idon'tknowwhy,butI'malwaysverycareless,whenIgoonatrip,abouttheaddressortelephonenumberoranythingofthepeoplewhoinvitedme.IfigureI'llbemet,orsomebodyelsewillknowwherewe'regoing;it'llgetstraightenedoutsomehow.Onetime,in1957,IwenttoagravityconferenceattheUniversityofNorthCarolina.Iwassupposedtobeanexpertinadifferentfieldwholooksatgravity.Ilandedattheairportadaylatefortheconference(Icouldn'tmakeitthefirstday),andIwentouttowherethetaxiswere.Isaidtothedispatcher,"I'dliketogototheUniversityofNorthCarolina.""Whichdoyoumean,"hesaid,"theStateUniversityofNorthCarolinaatRaleigh,ortheUniversityofNorthCarolinaatChapelHill?"Needlesstosay,Ihadn'ttheslightestidea."Wherearethey?"Iasked,figuringthatonemustbeneartheother."One'snorthofhere,andtheotherissouthofhere,aboutthesamedistance."Ihadnothingwithmethatshowedwhichoneitwas,andtherewasnobodyelsegoingtotheconferenceadaylatelikeIwas.Thatgavemeanidea."Listen,"Isaidtothedispatcher."Themainmeetingbeganyesterday,sotherewereawholelotofguysgoingtothemeetingwhomusthavecomethroughhereyesterday.Letmedescribethemtoyou:Theywouldhavetheirheadskindofintheair,andtheywouldhetalkingtoeachother,notpayingattentiontowheretheyweregoing,sayingthingstoeachother,like'G-mu-nu.G-mu-nu.'"Hisfacelitup."Ah,yes,"hesaid."YoumeanChapelHill!"Hecalledthenexttaxiwaitinginline."TakethismantotheuniversityatChapelHill.""Thankyou,"Isaid,andIwenttotheconference.

ButIsItArt?OnceIwasatapartyplayingbongos,andIgotgoingprettywell.Oneoftheguyswasparticularlyinspiredbythedrumming.Hewentintothebathroom,tookoffhisshirt,smearedshavingcreaminfunnydesignsalloverhischest,andcameoutdancingwildly,withcherrieshangingfromhisears.Naturally,thiscrazynutandIbecamegoodfriendsrightaway.HisnameisJirayrZorthian;he'sanartist.Weoftenhadlongdiscussionsaboutartandscience.I'dsaythingslike,"Artistsarelost:theydon'thaveanysubject!Theyusedtohavethe

religioussubjects,buttheylosttheirreligionandnowtheyhaven'tgotanything.Theydon'tunderstandthetechnicalworldtheylivein;theydon'tknowanythingaboutthebeautyoftherealworld--thescientificworld--sotheydon'thaveanythingintheirheartstopaint."Jerrywouldreplythatartistsdon'tneedtohaveaphysicalsubject;therearemanyemotionsthatcanheexpressedthroughart.Besides,artcanbeabstract.Furthermore,scientistsdestroythebeautyofnaturewhentheypickitapartandturnitintomathematicalequations.OnetimeIwasoveratJerry'sforhisbirthday,andoneofthesedopeyargumentslasteduntil3:00AM.ThenextmorningIcalledhimup:"Listen,Jerry,"Isaid,"thereasonwehavetheseargumentsthatnevergetanywhereisthatyoudon'tknowadamnthingaboutscience,andIdon'tknowadamnthingaboutart.So,onalternateSundays,I'llgiveyoualessoninscience,andyougivemealessoninart.""OK,"hesaid."I'llteachyouhowtodraw.""Thatwillheimpossible,"Isaid,becausewhenIwasinhighschool,theonlythingIcoulddrawwaspyramidsondeserts--consistingmainlyofstraightlines--andfromtimetotimeIwouldattemptapalmtreeandputinasun.Ihadabsolutelynotalent.Isatnexttoaguywhowasequallyadept.Whenhewaspermittedtodrawanything,itconsistedoftwoflat,ellipticalblobs,liketiresstackedononeanother,withastalkcomingoutofthetop,culminatinginagreentriangle.Itwassupposedtobeatree.SoIbetJerrythathewouldn'tbeabletoteachmetodraw."Ofcourseyou'llhavetowork,"hesaid.Ipromisedtowork,butstillbetthathecouldn'tteachmetodraw.Iwantedverymuchtolearntodraw,forareasonthatIkepttomyself:IwantedtoconveyanemotionIhaveaboutthebeautyoftheworld.It'sdifficulttodescribebecauseit'sanemotion.It'sanalogoustothefeelingonehasinreligionthathastodowithagodthatcontrolseverythinginthewholeuniverse:there'sageneralityaspectthatyoufeelwhenyouthinkabouthowthingsthatappearsodifferentandbehavesodifferentlyareallrun"behindthescenes"bythesameorganization,thesamephysicallaws.It'sanappreciationofthemathematicalbeautyofnature,ofhowsheworksinside;arealizationthatthephenomenaweseeresultfromthecomplexityoftheinnerworkingsbetweenatoms;afeelingofhowdramaticandwonderfulitis.It'safeelingofawe--ofscientificawe--whichIfeltcouldbecommunicatedthroughadrawingtosomeonewhohadalsohadthisemotion.Itcouldremindhim,foramoment,ofthisfeelingaboutthegloriesoftheuniverse.Jerryturnedouttobeaverygoodteacher.Hetoldmefirsttogohomeanddrawanything.SoItriedtodrawashoe;thenItriedtodrawaflower

inapot.Itwasamess!ThenexttimewemetIshowedhimmyattempts:"Oh,look!"hesaid."Yousee,aroundinbackhere,thelineoftheflowerpotdoesn'ttouchtheleaf."(Ihadmeantthelinetocomeuptotheleaf.)"That'sverygood.It'sawayofshowingdepth.That'sverycleverofyou.""Andthefactthatyoudon'tmakeallthelinesthesamethickness(whichIdidn'tmeantodo)isgood.Adrawingwithallthelinesthesamethicknessisdull."Itcontinuedlikethat:EverythingthatIthoughtwasamistake,heusedtoteachmesomethinginapositiveway.Heneversaiditwaswrong;heneverputmedown.SoIkeptontrying,andIgraduallygotalittlebitbetter,butIwasneversatisfied.TogetmorepracticeIalsosignedupforacorrespondenceschoolcourse,withInternationalCorrespondenceSchools,andImustsaytheyweregood.Theystartedmeoffdrawingpyramidsandcylinders,shadingthemandsoon.Wecoveredmanyareas:drawing,pastels,watercolors,andpaints.NeartheendIpeteredout:Imadeanoilpaintingforthem,butIneversentitin.Theykeptsendingmelettersurgingmetocontinue.Theywereverygood.Ipracticeddrawingallthetime,andbecameveryinterestedinit.IfIwasatameetingthatwasn'tgettinganywhere--liketheonewhereCarlRogerscametoCaltechtodiscusswithuswhetherCaltechshoulddevelopapsychologydepartment--Iwoulddrawtheotherpeople.IhadalittlepadofpaperIkeptwithmeandIpracticeddrawingwhereverIwent.So,asJerrytaughtme,Iworkedveryhard.Jerry,ontheotherhand,didn'tlearnmuchphysics.Hismindwanderedtooeasily.Itriedtoteachhimsomethingaboutelectricityandmagnetism,butassoonasImentionedelectricity,"he'dtellmeaboutsomemotorhehadthatdidn'twork,andhowmighthefixit.WhenItriedtoshowhimhowanelectromagnetworksbymakingalittlecoilofwireandhanginganailonapieceofstring,Iputthevoltageon,thenailswungintothecoil,andJerrysaid,"Ooh!It'sjustlikefucking!"Sothatwastheendofthat.Sonowwehaveanewargument--whetherhe'sabetterteacherthanIwas,orI'mabetterstudentthanhewas.IgaveuptheideaoftryingtogetanartisttoappreciatethefeelingIhadaboutnaturesohecouldportrayit.IwouldflowhavetodoublemyeffortsinlearningtodrawsoIcoulddoitmyself.Itwasaveryambitiousundertaking,andIkepttheideaentirelytomyself,becausetheoddswereIwouldneverbeabletodoit.Earlyonintheprocessoflearningtodraw,someladyIknewsawmyattemptsandsaid,"YoushouldgodowntothePasadenaArtMuseum.

Theyhavedrawingclassesthere,withmodels--nudemodels.""No,"Isaid;"Ican'tdrawwellenough:I'dfeelveryembarrassed.""You'regoodenough;youshouldseesomeoftheothers!"SoIworkedupenoughcouragetogodownthere.Inthefirstlessontheytoldusaboutnewsprint--verylargesheetsoflow-gradepaper,thesizeofanewspaper--andthevariouskindsofpencilsandcharcoaltoget.Forthesecondclassamodelcame,andshestartedoffwithaten-minutepose.Istartedtodrawthemodel,andbythetimeI'ddoneoneleg,thetenminuteswereup.Ilookedaroundandsawthateveryoneelsehadalreadydrawnacompletepicture,withshadingintheback--thewholebusiness.

IrealizedIwaswayoutofmydepth.Butfinallyattheend,themodelwasgoingtoposeforthirtyminutes.Iworkedveryhard,andwithgreateffortIwasabletodrawherwholeoutline.Thistimetherewashalfahope.SothistimeIdidn'tcoverupmydrawing,asIhaddonewithallthepreviousones.Wewentaroundtolookatwhattheothershaddone,andIdiscoveredwhattheycouldreallydo:theydrawthemodel,withdetailsandshadows,thepocketbookthat'sonthebenchshe'ssittingon,theplatform,everything!They'veallgonezip,zip,zip,zip,zipwiththecharcoal,allover,andIfigureit'shopeless--utterlyhopeless.Igobacktocoverupmydrawing,whichconsistsofafewlinescrowdedintotheupperleft-handcornerofthenewsprint--Ihad,untilthen,onlybeendrawingon8�X11paper--butsomeothersintheclassarestandingnearby:Oh,lookatthisone,"oneofthemsays."Everylinecounts!"Ididn'tknowwhatthatmeant,exactly,butIfeltencouragedenoughtocometothenextclass.Inthemeantime,Jerrykepttellingmethatdrawingsthataretoofullaren'tanygood.Hisjobwastoteachmenottoworryabouttheothers,sohe'dtellmetheyweren'tsohot.Inoticedthattheteacherdidn'ttellpeoplemuch(theonlythinghetoldmewasmypicturewastoosmallonthepage).Instead,hetriedtoinspireustoexperimentwithnewapproaches.Ithoughtofhowweteachphysics:Wehavesomanytechniques--somanymathematicalmethods--thatweneverstoptellingthestudentshowtodothings.Ontheotherhand,thedrawingteacherisafraidtotellyouanything.Ifyourlinesareveryheavy,theteachercan'tsay,"Yourlinesaretooheavy,"becausesomeartisthasfiguredoutawayofmakinggreatpicturesusingheavylines.Theteacher

doesn'twanttopushyouinsomeparticulardirection.Sothedrawingteacherhasthisproblemofcommunicatinghowtodrawbyosmosisandnotbyinstruction,whilethephysicsteacherhastheproblemofalwaysteachingtechniques,ratherthanthespirit,ofhowtogoaboutsolvingphysicalProblems.Theywerealwaystellingmeto"loosenup,"tobecomemorerelaxedaboutdrawing.Ifiguredthatmadenomoresensethantellingsomeonewho'sjustlearningtodriveto"loosenup"atthewheel.Itisn'tgoingtowork.Onlyafteryouknowhowtodoitcarefullycanyoubegintoloosenup.SoIresistedthisperennialloosen-upstuff.Oneexercisetheyhadinventedforlooseningusupwastodrawwithoutlookingatthepaper.Don'ttakeyoureyesoffthemodel;justlookatherandmakethelinesonthepaperwithoutlookingatwhatyou'redoing.Oneoftheguyssays,"Ican'thelpit.Ihavetocheat.Ibeteverybody'scheating!""I'mnotcheating!"Isay."Aw,baloney!"theysay.IfinishtheexerciseandtheycomeovertolookatwhatIhaddrawn.Theyfoundthat,indeed,IwasNOTcheating;attheverybeginningmypencilpointhadbusted,andtherewasnothinghutimpressionsonthepaper.WhenIfinallygotmypenciltowork,Itrieditagain.Ifoundthatmydrawinghadakindofstrength--afunny,semi-Picasso-likestrength--whichappealedtome.ThereasonIfeltgoodal)outthatdrawingwas,Iknewitwasimpossibletodrawwellthatway,andthereforeitdidn'thavetohegood--andthat'sreallywhatthelooseningupwasallabout.Ihadthoughtthat"loosenup"meant"makesloppydrawings,"butitreallymeanttorelaxandriotworryabouthowthedrawingisgoingtocomeout.Imadealotofprogressintheclass,andIwasfeelingprettygood.Upuntilthelastsession,allthemodelswehadwereratherheavyandoutofshape;theywereratherinterestingtodraw.Butinthelastclasswehadamodelwhowasaniftyblonde,perfectlyproportioned.ItwasthenthatIdiscoveredthatIstilldidn'tknowhowtodraw:Icouldn'tmakeanythingcomeoutthatlookedanythinglikethisbeautifulgirl!Withtheothermodels,ifyoudrawsomethingalittletoobigorbittoosmall,itdoesn'tmakeanydifferencebecauseit'salloutofshapeanyway.Butwhenyou'retryingtodrawsomethingthat'ssowellputtogether,youcan'tfoolyourself:It'sgottobejustright!

DuringoneofthebreaksIoverheardaguywhocouldreallydrawaskingthismodelwhethersheposedprivately.Shesaidyes."Good.ButIdon'thaveastudioyet.I'llhavetoworkthatoutfirst."IfiguredIcouldlearnalotfromthisguy,andI'dnevergetanotherchancetodrawthisniftymodelunlessIdidsomething."Excuseme,"Isaidtohim,"Ihavearoomdownstairsinmyhousethatcouldbeusedasastudio."Theybothagreed.Itookafewoftheguy'sdrawingstomyfriendJerry,buthewasaghast."Thosearen'tsogood,"hesaid.Hetriedtoexplainwhy,butIneverreallyunderstood.UntilIbegantolearntodraw,Iwasnevermuchinterestedinlookingatart.Ihadverylittleappreciationforthingsartistic,andonlyveryrarely,suchasoncewhenIwasinamuseuminJapan.Isawapaintingdoneonbrownpaperofbamboo,andwhatwasbeautifulaboutittomewasthatitwasperfectlypoisedbetweenbeingjustsomebrushstrokesandbeingbamboo--Icouldmakeitgobackandforth.ThesummerafterthedrawingclassIwasinItalyforascienceconferenceandIthoughtI'dliketoseetheSistineChapel.Igotthereveryearlyinthemorning,boughtmyticketbeforeanybodyelse,andranupthestairsassoonastheplaceopened.Ithereforehadtheunusualpleasureoflookingatthewholechapelforamoment,insilentawe,beforeanybodyelsecamein.Soonthetouristscame,andtherewerecrowdsofpeoplemillingaround,talkingdifferentlanguages,pointingatthisandthat.I'mwalkingaround,lookingattheceilingforawhile.ThenmyeyecamedownalittlebitandIsawsomebig,framedpictures,andIthought,"Gee!Ineverknewaboutthese!"UnfortunatelyI'dleftmyguidebookatthehotel,butIthoughttomyself,"Iknowwhythesepanelsaren'tfamous;theyaren'tanygood."ButthenIlookedatanotherone,andIsaid,"Wow!That'sagoodone."Ilookedattheothers."That'sgoodtoo,soisthatone,butthatone'slousy."Ihadneverheardofthesepanels,butIdecidedthattheywereallgoodexceptfortwo.IwentintoaplacecalledtheSaladeRaphael--theRaphaelRoom--andInoticedthesamephenomenon.Ithoughttomyself,"Raphaelisirregular.Hedoesn'talwayssucceed.Sometimeshe'sverygood.Sometimesit'sjustjunk."

WhenIgotbacktomyhotel,Ilookedattheguidebook.InthepartabouttheSistineChapel:"BelowthepaintingsbyMichelangelothereare

fourteenpanelsbyBotticelli,Perugino"--allthesegreatartists--"andtwobySo-and-so,whichareofnosignificance."Thiswasaterrificexcitementtome,thatIalsocouldtellthedifferencebetweenabeautifulworkofartandonethat'snot,withoutbeingabletodefineit.Asascientistyoualwaysthinkyouknowwhatyou'redoing,soyoutendtodistrusttheartistwhosays,"It'sgreat,"or"It'snogood,"andthenisnotabletoexplaintoyouwhy,asJerrydidwiththosedrawingsItookhim.ButhereIwas,sunk:Icoulddoittoo!IntheRaphaelRoomthesecretturnedouttobethatonlysomeofthepaintingsweremadebythegreatmaster;therestweremadebystudents.IhadlikedtheonesbyRaphael.Thiswasabigjabformyself-confidenceinmyabilitytoappreciateart.Anyway,theguyfromtheartclassandtheniftymodelcameovertomyhouseanumberoftimesandItriedtodrawherandlearnfromhim.AftermanyattemptsIfinallydrewwhatIfeltwasareallynicepicture--itwasaportraitofherhead--andIgotveryexcitedaboutthisfirstsuccess.IhadenoughconfidencetoaskanoldfriendofminenamedSteveDemitriadesifhisbeautifulwifewouldposeforme,andinreturnIwouldgivehimtheportrait.Helaughed."Ifshewantstowastehertimeposingforyou,it'sallrightwithme,ha,ha,ha."Iworkedveryhardonherportrait,andwhenhesawit,heturnedovertomysidecompletely:"It'sjustwonderful!"heexclaimed."Canyougetaphotographertomakecopiesofit?IwanttosendonetomymotherinGreece!"Hismotherhadneverseenthegirlhemarried.Thatwasveryexcitingtome,tothinkthatIhadimprovedtothepointwheresomeonewantedoneofmydrawings.AsimilarthinghappenedatasmallartexhibitthatsomeguyatCaltechhadarranged,whereIcontributedtwodrawingsandapainting.Hesaid,"Weoughtaputapriceonthedrawings."Ithought,"That'ssilly!I'mnottryingtosellthem.""Itmakestheexhibitionmoreinteresting.Ifyoudon'tmindpartingwiththem,justputapriceon."Aftertheshowtheguytoldmethatagirlhadboughtoneofmydrawingsandwantedtospeaktometofindoutmoreaboutit.Thedrawingwascalled"TheMagneticFieldoftheSun."ForthisparticulardrawingIhadborrowedoneofthosebeautifulpicturesofthesolarprominencestakenatthesolarlaboratoryinColorado.BecauseIunderstoodhowthesun'smagneticfieldwasholdinguptheflamesandhad,bythattime,developedsometechniquefordrawingmagneticfieldlines(itwassimilartoagirl'sflowinghair),Iwantedtodrawsomethingbeautifulthatnoartistwouldthinktodraw:therathercomplicatedandtwistinglinesofthemagneticfield,closetogetherhereandspreadingoutthere.

Iexplainedallthistoher,andshowedherthepicturethatgavemetheidea.Shetoldmethisstory:Sheandherhusbandhadgonetotheexhibit,andtheybothlikedthedrawingverymuch."Whydon'twebuyit?"shesuggested.Herhusbandwasthekindofamanwhocouldneverdoanythingrightaway."Let'sthinkaboutitawhile,"hesaid.Sherealizedhisbirthdaywasafewmonthsahead,soshewentbackthesamedayandboughtitherself.Thatnightwhenhecamehomefromwork,hewasdepressed.Shefinallygotitoutofhim:Hethoughtitwouldbenicetobuyherthatpicture,butwhenhewentbacktotheexhibit,hewastoldthatthepicturehadalreadybeensold.Soshehadittosurprisehimonhisbirthday.WhatIgotoutofthatstorywassomethingstillverynewtome:Iunderstoodatlastwhatartisreallyfor,atleastincertainrespects.Itgivessomebody,individually,pleasure.Youcanmakesomethingthatsomebodylikessomuchthatthey'redepressed,orthey'rehappy,onaccountofthatdamnthingyoumade!Inscience,it'ssortofgeneralandlarge:Youdon'tknowtheindividualswhohaveappreciateditdirectly.Iunderstoodthattoselladrawingisnottomakemoney,buttobesurethatit'sinthehomeofsomeonewhoreallywantsit;someonewhowouldfeelbadiftheydidn'thaveit.Thiswasinteresting.SoIdecidedtosellmydrawings.However,Ididn'twantpeopletobuymydrawingsbecausetheprofessorofphysicsisn'tsupposedtobeabletodraw,isn'tthatwonderful,soImadeupafalsename.MyfriendDudleyWrightsuggested"AuFait,"whichmeans"Itisdone"inFrench.IspelleditO-f-e-y,whichturnedouttobeanametheblacksusedfor"whitey."Butafterall,Iwaswhitey,soitwasallright.Oneofmymodelswantedmetomakeadrawingforher,butshedidn'thavethemoney.(Modelsdon'thavemoney;iftheydid,theywouldn'tbemodeling.)SheofferedtoposethreetimesfreeifIwouldgiveheradrawing."Onthecontrary,"Isaid."I'llgiveyouthreedrawingsifyou'llposeoncefornothing."SheputoneofthedrawingsIgaveheronthewallinhersmallroom,andsoonherboyfriendnoticedit.Helikeditsomuchthathewantedtocommissionaportraitofher.Hewouldpaymesixtydollars.(Themoneywasgettingprettygoodnow.)Thenshegottheideatobemyagent:Shecouldearnalittleextramoneybygoingaroundsellingmydrawings,saying,"There'sanewartistinAltadena..."Itwasfuntobeinadifferentworld!ShearrangedtohavesomeofmydrawingsputondisplayatBullock's,Pasadena'smostelegant

departmentstore.Sheandtheladyfromtheartsectionpickedoutsomedrawings--drawingsofplantsthatIhadmadeearlyon(thatIdidn'tlike)--andhadthemallframed.ThenIgotasigneddocumentfromBullock'ssayingthattheyhadsuch-and-suchdrawingsonconsignment.Ofcoursenobodyboughtanyofthem,butotherwiseIwasabigsuccess:IhadmydrawingsonsaleatBullock's!Itwasfuntohavethemthere,justsoIcouldsayonedaythatIhadreachedthatpinnacleofsuccessintheartworld.MostofmymodelsIgotthroughJerry,butIalsotriedtogetmodelsonmyown.WheneverImetayoungwomanwholookedasifshewouldbeinterestingtodraw,Iwouldaskhertoposeforme.ItalwaysendedupthatIwoulddrawherface,becauseIdidn'tknowexactlyhowtobringupthesubjectofposingnude.OncewhenIwasoveratJerry's,IsaidtohiswifeDabney,"Icannevergetthegirlstoposenude:Idon'tknowhowJerrydoesit!""Well,didyoueveraskthem?"

"Oh!Ineverthoughtofthat."ThenextgirlImetthatIwantedtoposeformewasaCaltechstudent.Iaskedherifshewouldposenude."Certainly,"shesaid,andtherewewere!Soitwaseasy.IguesstherewassomuchinthebackofmymindthatIthoughtitwassomehowwrongtoask.I'vedonealotofdrawingbynow,andI'vegottensoIliketodrawnudesbest.ForallIknowit'snotart,exactly;it'samixture.Whoknowsthepercentages?OnemodelImetthroughJerryhadbeenaPlayboyplaymate.Shewastallandgorgeous.However,shethoughtshewastootall.Everygirlintheworld,lookingather,wouldhavebeenjealous.Whenshewouldcomeintoaroom,she'dbehalfstoopedover.Itriedtoteachher,whenshewasposing,topleasestandup,becauseshewassoelegantandstriking.Ifinallytalkedherintothat.Thenshehadanotherworry:she'sgot"dents"nearhergroin.Ihadtogetoutabookofanatomytoshowherthatit'stheattachmentofthemusclestotheilium,andtoexplaintoherthatyoucan'tseethesedentsoneverybody;toseethem,everythingmustbejqustright,inperfectproportion,likeshewas.Ilearnedfromherthateverywomanisworriedaboutherlooks,nomatterhowbeautifulsheis.Iwantedtodrawapictureofthismodelincolor,inpastels,justtoexperiment.IthoughtIwouldfirstmakeasketchincharcoal,whichwouldbe

latercoveredwiththepastel.WhenIgotthroughwiththischarcoaldrawingthatIhadmadewithoutworryinghowitwasgoingtolook,IrealizedthatitwasoneofthebestdrawingsIhadevermade.Idecidedtoleaveit,andforgetaboutthepastelsforthatone.My"agent"lookedatitandwantedtotakeitaround."Youcan'tsellthat,"Isaid,"it'sonnewsprint.""Oh,nevermind,"shesaid.Afewweekslatershecamebackwiththispictureinabeautifulwoodenframewitharedbandandagoldedge.It'safunnythingwhichmustmakeartists,generally,unhappy--howmuchimprovedadrawinggetswhenyouputaframearoundit.Myagenttoldmethataparticularladygotallexcitedaboutthedrawingandtheytookittoapictureframer.Hetoldthemthattherewerespecialtechniquesformountingdrawingsonnewsprint:Impregnateitwithplastic,dothis,dothat.SothisladygoestoallthattroubleoverthisdrawingIhadmade,andthenhasmyagentbringitbacktome."Ithinktheartistwouldliketoseehowlovelyitis,framed,"shesaid.Icertainlydid.Therewasanotherexampleofthedirectpleasuresomebodygotoutofoneofmypictures.Soitwasarealkicksellingthedrawings.Therewasaperiodwhenthereweretoplessrestaurantsintown:Youcouldgothereforlunchordinner,andthegirlswoulddancewithoutatop,andafterawhilewithoutanything.Oneoftheseplaces,itturnedout,wasonlyamileandahalfawayfrommyhouse,soIwentthereveryoften.I'dsitinoneoftheboothsandworkalittlephysicsonthepaperplacematswiththescallopededges,andsometimesI'ddrawoneofthedancinggirlsoroneofthecustomers,justtopractice.MywifeGweneth,whoisEnglish,hadagoodattitudeaboutmygoingtothisplace.Shesaid,"TheEnglishmenhaveclubstheygoto."Soitwassomethinglikemyclub.Therewerepictureshangingaroundtheplace,butIdidn'tlikethemmuch.Theywerethesefluorescentcolorsonblackvelvet--kindofugly--agirltakingoffhersweater,orsomething.Well,IhadarathernicedrawingIhadmadeofmymodelKathy,soIgaveittotheowneroftherestauranttoputuponthewall,andhewasdelighted.Givinghimthedrawingturnedouttoproducesomeusefulresults.Theownerbecameveryfriendlytome,andwouldgivemefreedrinksallthe

time.Now,everytimeIwouldcomeintotherestaurantawaitresswouldcomeoverwithmyfree7-Up.I'dwatchthegirlsdance,doalittlephysics,preparealecture,ordrawalittlebit.IfIgotalittletired,I'dwatchtheentertainmentforawhile,andthendoalittlemorework.TheownerknewIdidn'twanttobedisturbed,soifadrunkmancameoverandstartedtotalktome,rightawayawaitresswouldcomeandgettheguyoutofthere.Ifagirlcameover,hewoulddonothing.Wehadaverygoodrelationship.HisnamewasGianonni.Theothereffectofmydrawingondisplaywasthatpeoplewouldaskhimaboutit.Onedayaguycameovertomeandsaid,"Gianonnitellsmeyoumadethatpicture.""Yeah.""Good.I'dliketocommissionadrawing.""Allright;whatwouldyoulike?""Iwantapictureofanudetoreadorgirlbeingchargedbyahullwithaman'shead.""Well,uh,itwouldhelpmealittleifIhadsomeideaofwhatthisdrawingisfor.""Iwantitformybusinessestablishment.""Whatkindofbusinessestablishment?""It'sforamassageparlor:youknow,privaterooms,masseuses--gettheidea?""Yeah,Igettheidea."Ididn'twanttodrawanudetoreadorgirlbeingchargedbyabullwithaman'shead,soItriedtotalkhimoutofit."Howdoyouthinkthatlookstothecustomers,andhowdoesitmakethegirlsfeel?Themencomeinthereandyouget'emallexcitedwiththispicture.Isthatthewayyouwant'emtotreatthegirls?"He'snotconvinced."Supposethecopscomeinandtheyseethispicture,andyou'reclaimingit'samassageparlor."

"OK,OK,"hesays;"You'reright.I'vegottachangeit.WhatIwantisapicturethat,ifthecopslookatit,isperfectlyOKforamassageparlor,butifacustomerlooksatit,itgiveshimideas."

"OK,"Isaid.Wearrangeditforsixtydollars,andIbegantoworkonthedrawing.First,Ihadtofigureouthowtodoit.IthoughtandIthought,andIoftenfeltIwouldhavebeenbetteroffdrawingthenudetoreadorgirlinthefirstplace!FinallyIfiguredouthowtodoit:IwoulddrawaslavegirlinimaginaryRome,massagingsomeimportantRoman--asenator,perhaps.Sinceshe'saslavegirl,shehasacertainlookonherface.Sheknowswhat'sgoingtohappennext,andshe'ssortofresignedtoit.Iworkedveryhardonthispicture.IusedKathyasthemodel.Later,Igotanothermodelfortheman.Ididlotsofstudies,andsoonthecostforthemodelswasalreadyeightydollars.Ididn'tcareaboutthemoney;Ilikedthechallengeofhavingtodoacommission.FinallyIendedupwithapictureofamuscularmanlyingonatablewiththeslavegirlmassaginghim:she'swearingakindoftogathatcoversonebreast--theotheronewasnude--andIgottheexpressionofresignationonherfacejustright.IwasjustaboutreadytodelivermycommissionedmasterpiecetothemassageparlorwhenGianonnitoldmethattheguyhadbeenarrestedandwasinjail.SoIaskedthegirlsatthetoplessrestaurantiftheyknewanygoodmassageparlorsaroundPasadenathatwouldliketohangmydrawinginthelobby.TheygavemenamesandlocationsofplacesinandaroundPasadenaandtoldmethingslike"WhenyougototheSuch-and-suchmassageparlor,askforFrank--he'saprettygoodguy.Ifhe'snotthere,don'tgoin."Or"Don'ttalktoEddie.Eddiewouldneverunderstandthevalueofadrawing."ThenextdayIrolledupmypicture,putitinthebackofmystationwagon,andmywifeGwenethwishedmegoodluckasIsetouttovisitthebrothelsofPasadenatosellmydrawing.JustbeforeIwenttothefirstplaceonmylist,Ithoughttomyself,"Youknow,beforeIgoanywhereelse,Ioughtacheckattheplaceheusedtohave.Maybeit'sstillopen,andperhapsthenewmanagerwantsmydrawing."Iwentoverthereandknockedonthedoor.Itopenedalittlebit,andIsawagirl'seye."Doweknowyou?"sheasked."No,youdon't,huthowwouldyouliketohaveadrawingthatwouldheappropriateforyourentrancehall?""I'msorry,"shesaid,"butwe'vealreadycontractedanartisttomakeadrawingforus,andhe'sworkingonit.""I'mtheartist,"Isaid,"andyourdrawingisready!"Itturnsoutthattheguy,ashewasgoingtojail,toldhiswifeaboutourarrangement.SoIwentinandshowedthemthedrawing.

Theguy'swifeandhissister,whowerenowrunningtheplace,werenotentirelypleasedwithit;theywantedthegirlstoseeit.Ihungituponthewall,thereinthelobby,andallthegirlscameoutfromthevariousroomsinthebackandstartedtomakecomments.Onegirlsaidshedidn'tliketheexpressionontheslavegirl'sface."Shedoesn'tlookhappy,"shesaid."Sheshouldbesmiling."Isaidtoher,"Tellme--whileyou'remassagingaguy,andhe'snotlookin'atyou,areyousmiling?""Oh,no!"shesaid."Ifeelexactlylikeshelooks!Butit'snotrighttoputitinthepicture."Ileftitwiththem,butafteraweekofworryingaboutitbackandforth,theydecidedtheydidn'twantit.Itturnedoutthattherealreasonthattheydidn'twantitwastheonenudebreast.Itriedtoexplainthatmydrawingwasatone-downoftheoriginalrequest,huttheysaidtheyhaddifferentideasaboutitthantheguydid.Ithoughttheironyofpeoplerunningsuchanestablishmentbeingprissyaboutonenudebreastwasamusing,andItookthedrawinghome.MybusinessmanfriendDudleyWrightsawthedrawingandItoldhimthestoryaboutit.Hesaid,"Yououghtatripleitsprice.Withart,nobodyisreallysureofitsvalue,sopeopleoftenthink,'Ifthepriceishigher,itmustbemorevaluable!'"Isaid,"You'recrazy!"hut,justforfun,Iboughtatwenty-dollarframeandmountedthedrawingsoitwouldbereadyforthenextcustomer.SomeguyfromtheweatherforecastingbusinesssawthedrawingIhadgivenGianonniandaskedifIhadothers.Iinvitedhimandhiswifetomy"studio"downstairsinmyhome,andtheyaskedaboutthenewlyframeddrawing."Thatoneistwohundreddollars."(Ihadmultipliedsixtybythreeandaddedtwentyfortheframe.)Thenextdaytheycamebackandboughtit.Sothemassageparlordrawingendedupintheofficeofaweatherforecaster.OnedaytherewasapoliceraidonGianonni's,andsomeofthedancerswerearrested.SomeonewantedtostopGianonnifromputtingontoplessdancingshows,andGianonnididn'twanttostop.Sotherewasabigcourtcaseaboutit;itwasinallthelocalpapers.Gianonniwentaroundtoallthecustomersandaskedthemiftheywouldtestifyinsupportofhim.Everybodyhadanexcuse:"Irunadaycamp,andiftheparentsseethatI'mgoingtothisplace,theywon'tsendtheirkidstomycamp..."Or,"I'minthesuch-and-suchbusiness,andifit'spublicizedthatIcomedownhere,we'lllosecustomers."Ithinktomyself,"I'mtheonlyfreemaninhere.Ihaven'tanyexcuse!Ilikethisplace,andI'dliketoseeitcontinue.Idon'tseeanythingwrong

withtoplessdancing."SoIsaidtoGianonni,"Yes,I'llhegladtotestify."Incourtthebigquestionwas,istoplessdancingacceptabletothecommunity--docommunitystandardsallowit?Thelawyerfromthedefensetriedtomakemeintoanexpertoncommunitystandards.HeaskedmeifIwentintootherbars."Yes.""AndhowmanytimesperweekwouldyoutypicallygotoGianonni's?""Five,sixtimesaweek."(Thatgotintothepapers:TheCaltechprofessorofphysicsgoestoseetoplessdancingsixtimesaweek.)

"WhatsectionsofthecommunitywererepresentedatGianonni's?""Nearlyeverysection:therewereguysfromtherealestatebusiness,aguyfromthecitygoverningboard,workmenfromthegasstation,guysfromengineeringfirms,aprofessorofphysics"Sowouldyousaythattoplessentertainmentisacceptabletothecommunity,giventhatsomanysectionsofitarewatchingitandenjoyingit?""Ineedtoknowwhatyoumeanby'acceptabletothecommunity.'Nothingisacceptedbyeverybody,sowhatpercentageofthecommunitymustacceptsomethinginorderforittobe'acceptabletothecommunity'?"Thelawyersuggestsafigure.Theotherlawyerobjects.Thejudgecallsarecess,andtheyallgointochambersfor15minutesbeforetheycandecidethat"acceptabletothecommunity"meansacceptedby50%ofthecommunity.InspiteofthefactthatImadethembeprecise,Ihadnoprecisenumbersasevidence,soIsaid,"Ibelievethattoplessdancingisacceptedbymorethan50%ofthecommunity,andisthereforeacceptabletothecommunity."Gianonnitemporarilylostthecase,andhis,oranotheroneverysimilartoit,wentultimatelytotheSupremeCourt.Inthemeantime,hisplacestayedopen,andIgotstillmorefree7-Ups.AroundthattimethereweresomeattemptstodevelopaninterestinartatCaltech.Somebodycontributedthemoneytoconvertanoldplantsciencesbuildingintosomeartstudios.Equipmentandsupplieswereboughtandprovidedforthestudents,andtheyhiredanartistfromSouthAfricatocoordinateandsupporttheartactivitiesaroundCaltech.

Variouspeoplecameintoteachclasses.IgotJerryZorthiantoteachadrawingclass,andsomeguycameintoteachlithography,whichItriedtolearn.TheSouthAfricanartistcameovertomyhouseonetimetolookatmydrawings.Hesaidhethoughtitwouldbefuntohaveaone-manshow.ThistimeIwascheating:IfIhadn'tbeenaprofessoratCaltech,theywouldhaveneverthoughtmypictureswereworthit."Someofmybetterdrawingshavebeensold,andIfeeluncomfortablecallingthepeople,"Isaid."Youdon'thavetoworry,Mr.Feynman,"hereassuredme."Youwon'thavetocallthemup.Wewillmakeallthearrangementsandoperatetheexhibitofficiallyandcorrectly."Igavehimalistofpeoplewhohadboughtmydrawings,andtheysoonreceivedatelephonecallfromhim:"WeunderstandthatyouhaveanOfey.""Oh,yes!""WeareplanningtohaveanexhibitionofOfeys,andwe'rewonderingifyouwouldconsiderlendingittous."Ofcoursetheyweredelighted.TheexhibitionwasheldinthebasementoftheAthenaeum,theCaltechfacultyclub.Everythingwasliketherealthing:Allthepictureshadtitles,andthosethathadbeentakenonconsignmentfromtheirownershadduerecognition:"LentbyMr.Gianonni,"forinstance.Onedrawingwasaportraitofthebeautifulblondemodelfromtheartclass,whichIhadoriginallyintendedtobeastudyofshading:Iputalightatthelevelofherlegsabittothesideandpointeditupwards.Asshesat,Itriedtodrawtheshadowsastheywere--hernosecastitsshadowratherunnaturallyacrossherface--sotheywouldn'tlooksobad.Idrewhertorsoaswell,soyoucouldalsoseeherbreastsandtheshadowstheymade.Istuckitinwiththeotherdrawingsintheexhibitandcalledit"MadameCurieObservingtheRadiationsfromRadium."ThemessageIintendedtoconveywas,nobodythinksofMadameCurieasawoman,asfeminine,withbeautifulhair,barebreasts,andallthat.Theyonlythinkoftheradiumpart.AprominentindustrialdesignernamedHenryDreyfussinvitedvariouspeopletoareceptionathishomeaftertheexhibition--thewomanwhohadcontributedmoneytosupportthearts,thepresidentofCaltechandhiswife,andsoon.Oneoftheseart-loverscameoverandstartedupaconversationwithme:"Tellme,ProfessorFeynman,doyoudrawfromphotographsorfrom

models?""Ialwaysdrawdirectlyfromaposedmodel.""Well,howdidyougetMadameCurietoposeforyou?"AroundthattimetheLosAngelesCountyMuseumofArthadasimilarideatotheoneIhad,thatartistsarefarawayfromanunderstandingofscience.Myideawasthatartistsdon'tunderstandtheunderlyinggeneralityandbeautyofnatureandherlaws(andthereforecannotportraythisintheirart).Themuseum'sideawasthatartistsshouldknowmoreabouttechnology:theyshouldbecomemorefamiliarwithmachinesandotherapplicationsofscience.Theartmuseumorganizedaschemeinwhichtheywouldgetsomeofthereallygoodartistsofthedaytogotovariouscompanieswhichvolunteeredsometimeandmoneytotheproject.Theartistswouldvisitthesecompaniesandsnooparounduntiltheysawsomethinginterestingthattheycoulduseintheirwork.Themuseumthoughtitmighthelpifsomeonewhoknewsomethingabouttechnologycouldbeasortofliaisonwiththeartistsfromtimetotimeastheyvisitedthecompanies.SincetheyknewIwasfairlygoodatexplainingthingstopeopleandIwasn'tacompletejackasswhenitcametoart(actually,IthinktheyknewIwastryingtolearntodraw)--atanyrate,theyaskedmeifIwoulddothat,andIagreed.Itwaslotsoffunvisitingthecompanieswiththeartists.Whattypicallyhappenedwas,someguywouldshowusatubethatdischargedsparksinbeautifulblue,twistingpatterns.Theartistswouldgetallexcitedandaskmehowtheycoulduseitinanexhibit.Whatwerethenecessaryconditionstomakeitwork?Theartistswereveryinterestingpeople.Someofthemwereabsolutefakes:theywouldclaimtobeanartist,andeverybodyagreedtheywereanartist,hutwhenyou'dsitandtalktothem,they'dmakenosensewhatsoever!Oneguyinparticular,thebiggestfaker,alwaysdressedftmny;hehadabigblackbowlerhat.Hewouldansweryourquestionsinanincomprehensibleway,andwhenyou'dtrytofindoutmoreaboutwhathesaidbyasking

himaboutsomeofthewordsheused,offwe'dbeinanotherdirection!Theonlythinghecontributed,ultimately,totheexhibitforartandtechnologywasaportraitofhimself.OtherartistsItalkedtowouldsaythingsthatmadenosenseatfirst,buttheywouldgotogreatlengthstoexplaintheirideastome.OnetimeI

wentsomewhere,asapartofthisscheme,withRobertIrwin.Itwasatwo-daytrip,andafteragreateffortofdiscussingbackandforth,Ifinallyunderstoodwhathewastryingtoexplaintome,andIthoughtitwasquiteinterestingandwonderful.Thenthereweretheartistswhohadabsolutelynoideaabouttherealworld.Theythoughtthatscientistsweresomekindofgrandmagicianswhocouldmakeanything,andwouldsaythingslike,"Iwanttomakeapictureinthreedimensionswherethefigureissuspendedinspaceanditglowsandflickers."Theymadeuptheworldtheywanted,andhadnoideawhatwasreasonableorunreasonabletomake.Finallytherewasanexhibit,andIwasaskedtobeonapanelwhichjudgedtheworksofart.Althoughtherewassomegoodstuffthatwasinspiredbytheartists'visitingthecompanies,Ithoughtthatmostofthegoodworksofartwerethingsthatwereturnedinatthelastminuteoutofdesperation,anddidn'treallyhaveanythingtodowithtechnology.Alloftheothermembersofthepaneldisagreed,andIfoundmyselfinsomedifficulty.I'mnogoodatcriticizingart,andIshouldn'thavebeenonthepanelinthefirstplace.TherewasaguythereatthecountyartmuseumnamedMauriceTuchmanwhoreallyknewwhathewastalkingaboutwhenitcametoart.HeknewthatIhadhadthisone-manshowatCaltech.Hesaid,"Youknow,you'renevergoingtodrawagain.""What?That'sridiculous!WhyshouldInever."Becauseyou'vehadaone-manshow,andyou'reonlyanamateur."AlthoughIdiddrawafterthat,Ineverworkedashard,withthesameenergyandintensity,asIdidbefore.Ineversoldadrawingafterthat,either.Hewasasmartfella,andIlearnedalotfromhim.Icouldhavelearnedalotmore,ifIweren'tsostubborn!

IsElectricityFire?IntheearlyfiftiesIsufferedtemporarilyfromadiseaseofmiddleage:Iusedtogivephilosophicaltalksaboutscience--howsciencesatisfiescuriosity,howitgivesyouanewworldview,howitgivesmantheabilitytodothings,howitgiveshimpower--andthequestionis,inviewoftherecentdevelopmentoftheatomicbomb,isitagoodideatogivemanthatmuchpower?Ialsothoughtabouttherelationofscienceandreligion,anditwasaboutthistimewhenIwasinvitedtoaconferenceinNewYorkthatwasgoingtodiscuss"theethicsofequality."Therehadalreadybeenaconferenceamongtheolderpeople,somewhereonLongIsland,andthisyeartheydecidedtohavesomeyounger

peoplecomeinanddiscussthepositionpaperstheyhadworkedoutintheotherconference.BeforeIgotthere,theysentaroundalistof"booksyoumightfindinterestingtoread,andpleasesendusanybooksyouwantotherstoread,andwewillstoretheminthelibrarysothatothersmayreadthem."Soherecomesthiswonderfullistofbooks.Istartdownthefirstpage:Ihaven'treadasingleoneofthebooks,andIfeelveryuneasy--Ihardlybelong.Ilookatthesecondpage:Ihaven'treadasingleone.Ifoundout,afterlookingthroughthewholelist,thatIhaven'treadanyofthebooks.Imustbeanidiot,anilliterate!Therewerewonderfulbooksthere,likeThomasJeffersonOnFreedom,orsomethinglikethat,andtherewereafewauthorsIhadread.TherewasabookbyHeisenberg,onebySchrodinger,andonebyEinstein,buttheyweresomethinglikeEinstein,MyLaterYearsandSchrodinger,WhatIsLife--differentfromwhatIhadread.SoIhadafeelingthatIwasoutofmydepth,andthatIshouldn'tbeinthis.MaybeIcouldjustsitquietlyandlisten.Igotothefirstbigintroductorymeeting,andaguygetsupandexplainsthatwehavetwoproblemstodiscuss.Thefirstoneisfoggedupalittlebit--somethingaboutethicsandequality,butIdon'tunderstandwhattheproblemexactlyis.Andthesecondoneis,"Wearegoingtodemonstratebyoureffortsawaythatwecanhaveadialogueamongpeopleofdifferentfields."Therewasaninternationallawyer,ahistorian,aJesuitpriest,arabbi,ascientist(me),andsoon.Well,rightawaymylogicalmindgoeslikethis:ThesecondproblemIdon'thavetopayanyattentionto,becauseifitworks,itworks;andifitdoesn'twork,itdoesn'twork--wedon'thavetoprovethatwecanhaveadialogue,anddiscussthatwecanhaveadialogue,ifwehaven'tgotanydialoguetotalkabout!Sotheprimaryproblemisthefirstone,whichIdidn'tunderstand.Iwasreadytoputmyhandupandsay,"Wouldyoupleasedefinetheproblembetter,"butthenIthought,"No,I'mtheignoramus;I'dbetterlisten.Idon'twanttostarttroublerightaway."ThesubgroupIwasinwassupposedtodiscussthe"ethicsofequalityineducation."InthemeetingsofoursubgrouptheJesuitpriestwasalwaystalkingabout"thefragmentationofknowledge."Hewouldsay,"Therealproblemintheethicsofequalityineducationisthefragmentationofknowledge."ThisJesuitwaslookingbackintothethirteenthcenturywhentheCatholicChurchwasinchargeofalleducation,andthewholeworldwassimple.TherewasGod,andeverythingcamefromGod;itwasallorganized.Buttoday,it'snotsoeasytounderstandeverything.Soknowledge

hasbecomefragmented.Ifeltthat"thefragmentationofknowledge"hadnothingtodowith"it,"but"it"hadneverbeendefined,sotherewasnowayformetoprovethat.FinallyIsaid,"Whatistheethicalproblemassociatedwiththefragmentationofknowledge?"Hewouldonlyanswermewithgreatcloudsoffog,andI'dsay,"Idon'tunderstand,"andeverybodyelsewouldsaytheydidunderstand,andtheytriedtoexplainittome,buttheycouldn'texplainittome!SotheothersinthegrouptoldmetowritedownwhyIthoughtthefragmentationofknowledgewasnotaproblemofethics.IwentbacktomydormitoryroomandIwroteoutcarefully,asbestIcould,whatIthoughtthesubjectof"theethicsofequalityineducation"mightbe,andIgavesomeexamplesofthekindsofproblemsIthoughtwemightbetalkingabout,Forinstance,ineducation,youincreasedifferences.Ifsomeone'sgoodatsomething,youtrytodevelophisability,whichresultsindifferences,orinequalities.Soifeducationincreasesinequality,isthisethical?Then,aftergivingsomemoreexamples,Iwentontosaythatwhile"thefragmentationofknowledge"isadifficultybecausethecomplexityoftheworldmakesithardtolearnthings,inlightofmydefinitionoftherealmofthesubject,Icouldn'tseehowthefragmentationofknowledgehadanythingtodowithanythingapproximatingwhattheethicsofequalityineducationmightmoreorlessbe.ThenextdayIbroughtmypaperintothemeeting,andtheguysaid,"Yes,Mr.Feynmanhasbroughtupsomeveryinterestingquestionsweoughttodiscuss,andwe'llputthemasideforsomepossiblefuturediscussion."Theycompletelymissedthepoint.Iwastryingtodefinetheproblem,andthenshowhow"thefragmentationofknowledge"didn'thaveanythingtodowithit.Andthereasonthatnobodygotanywhereinthatconferencewasthattheyhadn'tclearlydefinedthesubjectof"theethicsofequalityineducation,"andthereforenooneknewexactlywhattheyweresupposedtotalkabout.Therewasasociologistwhohadwrittenapaperforusalltoread--somethinghehadwrittenaheadoftime.Istartedtoreadthedamnthing,andmyeyeswerecomingout:Icouldn'tmakeheadnortailofit!IfigureditwasbecauseIhadn'treadanyofthebooksonthatlist.Ihadthisuneasyfeelingof"I'mnotadequate,"untilfinallyIsaidtomyself,"I'mgonnastop,andreadonesentenceslowly,soIcanfigureoutwhatthehellitmeans."SoIstopped--atrandom--andreadthenextsentenceverycarefully.Ican'trememberitprecisely,butitwasveryclosetothis:"Theindividualmemberofthesocialcommunityoftenreceiveshisinformationviavisual,symbolicchannels."Iwentbackandforthoverit,andtranslated.You

knowwhatitmeans?"Peopleread."ThenIwentoverthenextsentence,andIrealizedthatIcouldtranslatethatonealso.Thenitbecameakindofemptybusiness:"Sometimespeopleread;sometimespeoplelistentotheradio,"andsoon,butwritteninsuchafancywaythatIcouldn'tunderstanditatfirst,andwhenIfinallydecipheredit,therewasnothingtoit.Therewasonlyonethingthathappenedatthatmeetingthatwaspleasantoramusing.Atthisconference,everywordthateveryguysaidattheplenarysessionwassoimportantthattheyhadastenotypistthere,typingeverygoddamnthing.Somewhereontheseconddaythestenotypistcameuptomeandsaid,"Whatprofessionareyou?Surelynotaprofessor.""Iamaprofessor,"Isaid."Ofwhat?"

"Ofphysics--science.""Oh!Thatmustbethereason,"hesaid."Reasonforwhat?"Hesaid,"Yousee,I'mastenotypist,andItypeeverythingthatissaidhere.Now,whentheotherfellastalk,Itypewhattheysay,butIdon'tunderstandwhatthey'resaying.Buteverytimeyougetuptoaskaquestionortosaysomething,Iunderstandexactlywhatyoumean--whatthequestionis,andwhatyou'resaying--soIthoughtyoucan'tbeaprofessor!"Therewasaspecialdinneratsomepoint,andtheheadofthetheologyplace,averynice,veryJewishman,gaveaspeech.Itwasagoodspeech,andhewasaverygoodspeaker,sowhileitsoundscrazynow,whenI'mtellingaboutit,atthattimehismainideasoundedcompletelyobviousandtrue.Hetalkedaboutthebigdifferencesinthewelfareofvariouscountries,whichcausejealousy,whichleadstoconflict,andnowthatwehaveatomicweapons,anywarandwe'redoomed,sothereforetherightwayoutistostriveforpeacebymakingsuretherearenogreatdifferencesfromplacetoplace,andsincewehavesomuchintheUnitedStates,weshouldgiveupnearlyeverythingtotheothercountriesuntilwe'realleven.Everybodywaslisteningtothis,andwewereallfullofsacrificialfeeling,andallthinkingweoughttodothis.ButIcamebacktomysensesonthe

wayhome.Thenextdayoneoftheguysinourgroupsaid,"Ithinkthatspeechlastnightwassogoodthatweshouldallendorseit,anditshouldbethesummaryofourconference."Istartedtosaythattheideaofdistributingeverythingevenlyisbasedonatheorythatthere'sonlyXamountofstuffintheworld,thatsomehowwetookitawayfromthepoorercountriesinthefirstplace,andthereforeweshouldgiveitbacktothem.Butthistheorydoesn'ttakeintoaccounttherealreasonforthedifferencesbetweencountries--thatis,thedevelopmentofnewtechniquesforgrowingfood,thedevelopmentofmachinerytogrowfoodandtodootherthings,andthefactthatallthismachineryrequirestheconcentrationofcapital.Itisn'tthestuff,butthepowertomakethestuff,thatisimportant.ButIrealizenowthatthesepeoplewerenotinscience;theydidn'tunderstandit.Theydidn'tunderstandtechnology;theydidn'tunderstandtheirtime.TheconferencemademesonervousthatagirlIknewinNewYorkhadtocalmmedown."Look,"shesaid,"you'reshaking!You'vegoneabsolutelynuts!Justtakeiteasy,anddon'ttakeitsoseriously.Backawayaminuteandlookatwhatitis."SoIthoughtabouttheconference,howcrazyitwas,anditwasn'tsobad.Butifsomeoneweretoaskmetoparticipateinsomethinglikethatagain,I'dshyawayfromitlikemad--Imeanzero!No!Absolutelynot!AndIstillgetinvitationsforthiskindofthingtoday.Whenitcametimetoevaluatetheconferenceattheend,theotherstoldhowmuchtheygotoutofit,howsuccessfulitwas,andsoon.Whentheyaskedme,Isaid,"ThisconferencewasworsethanaRorschachtest:There'sameaninglessinkblot,andtheothersaskyouwhatyouthinkyousee,butwhenyoutellthem,theystartarguingwithyou!Evenworse,attheendoftheconferencetheyweregoingtohaveanothermeeting,butthistimethepublicwouldcome,andtheguyinchargeofourgrouphasthenervetosaythatsincewe'veworkedoutsomuch,therewon'tbeanytimeforpublicdiscussion,sowe'lljusttellthepublicallthethingswe'veworkedout.Myeyesbuggedout:Ididn'tthinkwehadworkedoutadamnthing!Finally,whenwewerediscussingthequestionofwhetherwehaddevelopedawayofhavingadialogueamongpeopleofdifferentdisciplines--oursecondbasic"problem"--IsaidthatInoticedsomethinginteresting.Eachofustalkedaboutwhatwethoughtthe"ethicsofequality"was,fromourownpointofview,withoutpayinganyattentiontotheotherguy'spointofview.Forexample,thehistorianproposedthatthewaytounderstand

ethicalproblemsistolookhistoricallyathowtheyevolvedandhowtheydeveloped;theinternationallawyersuggestedthatthewaytodoitistoseehowinfactpeopleactuallyactindifferentsituationsandmaketheirarrangements;theJesuitpriestwasalwaysreferringto"thefragmentationofknowledge";andI,asascientist,proposedthatweshouldisolatetheprobleminawayanalogoustoGalileo'stechniquesforexperiments;andsoon."So,inmyopinion,"Isaid,"wehadnodialogueatall.Instead,wehadnothingbutchaos!"OfcourseIwasattacked,fromallaround."Don'tyouthinkthatordercancomefromchaos?""Uh,well,asageneralprinciple,or...Ididn'tunderstandwhattodowithaquestionlike"Canordercomefromchaos?"Yes,no,whatofit?Therewerealotoffoolsatthatconference--pompousfools--andpompousfoolsdrivemeupthewall.Ordinaryfoolsareallright;youcantalktothem,andtrytohelpthemout.Butpompousfools--guyswhoarefoolsandarecoveringitalloverandimpressingpeopleastohowwonderfultheyarewithallthishocuspocus--THAT,ICANNOTSTAND!Anordinaryfoolisn'tafaker;anhonestfoolisallright.Butadishonestfoolisterrible!Andthat'swhatIgotattheconference,abunchofpompousfools,andIgotveryupset.I'mnotgoingtogetupsetlikethatagain,soIwon'tparticipateininterdisciplinaryconferencesanymore.Afootnote:WhileIwasattheconference,IstayedattheJewishTheologicalSeminary,whereyoungrabbis--IthinktheywereOrthodox--werestudying.SinceIhaveaJewishbackground,IknewofsomeofthethingstheytoldmeabouttheTalmud,butIhadneverseentheTalmud.Itwasveryinteresting.It'sgotbigpages,andinalittlesquareinthecornerofthepageistheoriginalTalmud,andtheninasortofL-shapedmargin,allaroundthissquare,arecommentarieswrittenbydifferentpeople.TheTalmudhasevolved,andeverythinghasbeendiscussedagainandagain,allverycarefully,inamedievalkindofreasoning.Ithinkthecommentarieswereshutdownaroundthethirteen-orfourteen-orfifteen-hundreds--therehasn'tbeenanymoderncommentary.TheTalmudisawonderfulbook,agreat,bigpotpourriofthings:trivialquestions,anddifficultquestions--forexample,problemsofteachers,andhowtoteach--andthensometriviaagain,andsoon.ThestudentstoldmethattheTalmudwasnevertranslated,somethingIthoughtwascurious,sincethebookissovaluable,Oneday,twoorthreeoftheyoungrabbiscametomeandsaid,"Werealizethatwecan'tstudytoberabbisinthemodernworldwithoutknowingsomethingaboutscience,sowe'dliketoaskyousomequestions."Ofcoursetherearethousandsofplacestofindoutaboutscience,andColumbiaUniversitywasrightnearthere,butIwantedtoknowwhatkinds

ofquestionstheywereinterestedin.Theysaid,"Well,forinstance,iselectricityfire?"

"No,"Isaid,"but...whatistheproblem?"Theysaid,"IntheTalmuditsaysyou'renotsupposedtomakefireonaSaturday,soourquestionis,canweuseelectricalthingsonSaturdays?"Iwasshocked.Theyweren'tinterestedinscienceatall!TheonlywaysciencewasinfluencingtheirliveswassotheymightbeabletointerpretbettertheTalmud!Theyweren'tinterestedintheworldoutside,innaturalphenomena;theywereonlyinterestedinresolvingsomequestionbroughtupintheTalmud.Andthenoneday--IguessitwasaSaturday--Iwanttogoupintheelevator,andthere'saguystandingneartheelevator.Theelevatorcomes,Igoin,andhegoesinwithme.Isay,"Whichfloor?"andmyhand'sreadytopushoneofthebuttons."No,no!"hesays,"I'msupposedtopushthebuttonsforyou.""What?""Yes!Theboysherecan'tpushthebuttonsonSaturday,soIhavetodoitforthem.Yousee,I'mnotJewish,soit'sallrightformetopushthebuttons.Istandneartheelevator,andtheytellmewhatfloor,andIpushthebuttonforthem."Well,thisreallybotheredme,soIdecidedtotrapthestudentsinalogicaldiscussion.IhadbeenbroughtupinaJewishhome,soIknewthekindofnitpickinglogictouse,andIthought,"Here'sfun!"Myplanwentlikethis:I'dstartoffbyasking,"IstheJewishviewpointaviewpointthatanymancanhave?Becauseifitisnot,thenit'scertainlynotsomethingthatistrulyvaluableforhumanity...yak,yak,yak."Andthentheywouldhavetosay,"Yes,theJewishviewpointisgoodforanyman."ThenIwouldsteerthemaroundalittlemorebyasking,"Isitethicalforamantohireanothermantodosomethingwhichisunethicalforhimtodo?Wouldyouhireamantorobforyou,forinstance?"AndIkeepworkingthemintothechannel,veryslowly,andverycarefullyuntilI'vegotthem--trapped!

Anddoyouknowwhathappened?They'rerabbinicalstudents,right?TheyweretentimesbetterthanIwas!AssoonastheysawIcouldputtheminahole,theywenttwist,turn,twist--Ican'trememberhow--andtheywerefree!IthoughtIhadcomeupwithanoriginalidea--phooey!IthadbeendiscussedintheTalmudforages!Sotheycleanedmeupjustaseasyaspie--theygotrightout.FinallyItriedtoassuretherabbinicalstudentsthattheelectricsparkthatwasbotheringthemwhentheypushedtheelevatorbuttonswasnotfire.Isaid,"Electricityisnotfire.It'snotachemicalprocess,asfireis.""Oh?"theysaid."Ofcourse,there'selectricityinamongsttheatomsinafire.""Aha!"theysaid."Andineveryotherphenomenonthatoccursintheworld."Ievenproposedapracticalsolutionforeliminatingthespark."Ifthat'swhat'sbotheringyou,youcanputacondenseracrosstheswitch,sotheelectricitywillgoonandoffwithoutanysparkwhatsoever--anywhere."Butforsomereason,theydidn'tlikethatideaeither.Itreallywasadisappointment.Heretheyare,slowlycomingtolife,onlytobetterinterprettheTalmud.Imagine!Inmoderntimeslikethis,guysarestudyingtogointosocietyanddosomething--tobearabbi--andtheonlywaytheythinkthatsciencemightbeinterestingisbecausetheirancient,provincial,medievalproblemsarebeingconfoundedslightlybysomenewphenomena.Somethingelsehappenedatthattimewhichisworthmentioninghere.OneofthequestionstherabbinicalstudentsandIdiscussedatsomelengthwaswhyitisthatinacademicthings,suchastheoreticalphysics,thereisahigherproportionofJewishkidsthantheirproportioninthegeneralpopulation.TherabbinicalstudentsthoughtthereasonwasthattheJewshaveahistoryofrespectinglearning:Theyrespecttheirrabbis,whoarereallyteachers,andtheyrespecteducation.TheJewspassonthistraditionintheirfamiliesallthetime,sothatifaboyisagoodstudent,it'sasgoodas,ifnotbetterthan,beingagoodfootballplayer.ItwasthesameafternoonthatIwasremindedhowtrueitis.Iwasinvitedtooneoftherabbinicalstudents'home,andheintroducedmetohismother,whohadjustcomebackfromWashington,D.C.Sheclappedherhandstogether,inecstasy,andsaid,"Oh!Mydayiscomplete.TodayImetageneral,andaprofessor!"

Irealizedthattherearenotmanypeoplewhothinkit'sjustasimportant,andjustasnice,tomeetaprofessorastomeetageneral.SoIguessthere'ssomethinginwhattheysaid.

JudgingBooksbyTheirCoversAfterthewar,physicistswereoftenaskedtogotoWashingtonandgiveadvicetovarioussectionsofthegovernment,especiallythemilitary.Whathappened,Isuppose,isthatsincethescientistshadmadethesebombsthatweresoimportant,themilitaryfeltwewereusefulforsomething.OnceIwasaskedtoserveonacommitteewhichwastoevaluatevariousweaponsforthearmy,andIwrotealetterbackwhichexplainedthatIwasonlyatheoreticalphysicist,andIdidn'tknowanythingaboutweaponsforthearmy.Thearmyrespondedthattheyhadfoundintheirexperiencethattheoreticalphysicistswereveryusefultotheminmakingdecisions,sowouldIpleasereconsider?IwrotebackagainandsaidIdidn'treallyknowanything,anddoubtedIcouldhelpthem.FinallyIgotaletterfromtheSecretaryoftheArmy,whichproposedacompromise:Iwouldcometothefirstmeeting,whereIcouldlistenandseewhetherIcouldmakeacontributionornot.ThenIcoulddecidewhetherIshouldcontinue.IsaidIwould,ofcourse.WhatelsecouldIdo?IwentdowntoWashingtonandthefirstthingthatIwenttowasacocktailpartytomeeteverybody.Thereweregeneralsandotherimportantcharactersfromthearmy,andeverybodytalked.Itwaspleasantenough.Oneguyinauniformcametomeandtoldmethatthearmywasgladthatphysicistswereadvisingthemilitarybecauseithadalotofproblems.Oneoftheproblemswasthattanksuseuptheirfuelveryquicklyandthuscan'tgoveryfar.Sothequestionwashowtorefuelthemasthey'regoingalong.Nowthisguyhadtheideathat,sincethephysicistscangetenergyoutofuranium,couldIworkoutawayinwhichwecouldusesilicondioxide--sand,dirt--asafuel?Ifthatwerepossible,thenallthistankwouldhavetodowouldbetohavealittlescoopunderneath,andasitgoesalong,itwouldpickupthedirtanduseitforfuel!Hethoughtthatwasagreatidea,andthatallIhadtodowastoworkoutthedetails.ThatwasthekindofproblemIthoughtwewouldbetalkingaboutinthemeetingthenextday.

Iwenttothemeetingandnoticedthatsomeguywhohadintroducedmetoallthepeopleatthecocktailpartywassittingnexttome.Hewasapparentlysomeflunkyassignedtobeatmysideatalltimes.OnmyothersidewassomesupergeneralIhadheardofbefore.Atthefirstsessionofthemeetingtheytalkedaboutsometechnicalmatters,andImadeafewcomments.Butlateron,neartheendofthemeeting,theybegantodiscusssomeproblemoflogistics,aboutwhichIknewnothing.Ithadtodowithfiguringouthowmuchstuffyoushouldhaveatdifferentplacesatdifferenttimes.AndalthoughItriedtokeepmytrapshut,whenyougetintoasituationlikethat,whereyou'resittingaroundatablewithallthese"importantpeople"discussingthese"importantproblems,"youcan'tkeepyourmouthshut,evenifyouknownothingwhatsoever!SoImadesomecommentsinthatdiscussion,too.Duringthenextcoffeebreaktheguywhohadbeenassignedtoshepherdmearoundsaid,"Iwasveryimpressedbythethingsyousaidduringthediscussion.Theycertainlywereanimportantcontribution."Istoppedandthoughtaboutmy"contribution"tothelogisticsproblem,andrealizedthatamanliketheguywhoordersthestuffforChristmasatMacy'swouldbebetterabletofigureouthowtohandleproblemslikethatthanI.SoIconcluded:a)ifIhadmadeanimportantcontribution,itwassheerluck;b)anybodyelsecouldhavedoneaswell,butmostpeoplecouldhavedonebetter,andc)thisflatteryshouldwakemeuptothefactthatIamnotcapableofcontributingmuch.Rightafterthattheydecided,inthemeeting,thattheycoulddobetterdiscussingtheorganizationofscientificresearch(suchas,shouldscientificdevelopmentbeundertheCorpsofEngineersortheQuartermasterDivision?)thanspecifictechnicalmatters.Iknewthatiftherewastobeanyhopeofmymakingarealcontribution,itwouldbeonlyonsomespecifictechnicalmatter,andsurelynotonhowtoorganizeresearchinthearmy.UntilthenIdidn'tletonanyofmyfeelingsaboutthesituationtothechairmanofthemeeting--thebigshotwhohadinvitedmeinthefirstplace.Aswewerepackingourbagstoleave,hesaidtome,allsmiles,"You'llbejoiningus,then,forthenextmeeting.."No,Iwon't."Icouldseehisfacechangesuddenly.HewasverysurprisedthatIwouldsayno,aftermakingthose"contributions."Intheearlysixties,alotofmyfriendswerestillgivingadvicetothegovernment.Meanwhile,Iwashavingnofeelingofsocialresponsibilityandresisting,asmuchaspossible,offerstogotoWashington,whichtookacertainamountofcourageinthosetimes.

Iwasgivingaseriesoffreshmanphysicslecturesatthattime,andafteroneofthem,TomHarvey,whoassistedmeinputtingonthedemonstrations,said,"Yououghtaseewhat'shappeningtomathematicsinschoolbooks!Mydaughtercomeshomewithalotofcrazystuff!"Ididn'tpaymuchattentiontowhathesaid.ButthenextdayIgotatelephonecallfromaprettyfamouslawyerhereinPasadena,Mr.Norris,whowasatthattimeontheStateBoardofEducation.HeaskedmeifIwouldserveontheStateCurriculumCommission,whichhadtochoosethenewschoolbooksforthestateofCalifornia.Yousee,thestatehadalawthatalloftheschoolbooksusedbyallofthekidsinallofthepublicschoolshavetobechosenbytheStateBoardofEducation,sotheyhaveacommitteetolookoverthebooksandtogivethemadviceonwhichbookstotake.Ithappenedthatalotofthebookswereonanewmethodofteachingarithmeticthattheycalled"newmath,"andsinceusuallytheonlypeopletolookatthebookswereschoolteachersoradministratorsineducation,theythoughtitwouldbeagoodideatohavesomebodywhousesmathematicsscientifically,whoknowswhattheendproductisandwhatwe'retryingtoteachitfor,tohelpintheevaluationoftheschoolbooks.Imusthavehad,bythistime,aguiltyfeelingaboutnotcooperatingwiththegovernment,becauseIagreedtogetonthiscommittee.ImmediatelyIbegangettinglettersandtelephonecallsfrombookpublishers.Theysaidthingslike,"We'reverygladtohearyou'reonthecommitteebecausewereallywantedascientificguy...and"It'swonderfultohaveascientistonthecommittee,becauseourbooksarescientificallyoriented..."

Buttheyalsosaidthingslike,"We'dliketoexplaintoyouwhatourbookisabout..."and"We'llbeverygladtohelpyouinanywaywecantojudgeourbooks..."Thatseemedtomekindofcrazy.I'manobjectivescientist,anditseemedtomethatsincetheonlythingthekidsinschoolaregoingtogetisthebooks(andtheteachersgettheteacher'smanual,whichIwouldalsoget),anyextraexplanationfromthecompanywasadistortion.SoIdidn'twanttospeaktoanyofthepublishersandalwaysreplied,"Youdon'thavetoexplain;I'msurethebookswillspeakforthemselves."Irepresentedacertaindistrict,whichcomprisedmostoftheLosAngelesareaexceptforthecityofLosAngeles,whichwasrepresentedbyaveryniceladyfromtheL.A.schoolsystemnamedMrs.Whitehouse.Mr.NorrissuggestedthatImeetherandfindoutwhatthecommitteedidand

howitworked.Mrs.Whitehousestartedouttellingmeaboutthestufftheyweregoingtotalkaboutinthenextmeeting(theyhadalreadyhadonemeeting;Iwasappointedlate)."They'regoingtotalkaboutthecountingnumbers."Ididn'tknowwhatthatwas,butitturnedouttheywerewhatIusedtocallintegers.Theyhaddifferentnamesforeverything,soIhadalotoftroublerightfromthestart.Shetoldmehowthemembersofthecommissionnormallyratedthenewschoolbooks.Theywouldgetarelativelylargenumberofcopiesofeachbookandwouldgivethemtovariousteachersandadministratorsintheirdistrict.Thentheywouldgetreportsbackonwhatthesepeoplethoughtaboutthebooks.SinceIdidn'tknowalotofteachersoradministrators,andsinceIfeltthatIcould,byreadingthebooksmyself,makeupmymindastohowtheylookedtome,Ichosetoreadallthebooksmyself.(Thereweresomepeopleinmydistrictwhohadexpectedtolookatthebooksandwantedachancetogivetheiropinion.Mrs.WhitehouseofferedtoputtheirreportsinwithherssotheywouldfeelbetterandIwouldn'thavetoworryabouttheircomplaints.Theyweresatisfied,andIdidn'tgetmuchtrouble.)Afewdayslateraguyfromthebookdepositorycalledmeupandsaid,"We'rereadytosendyouthebooks,Mr.Feynman;therearethreehundredpounds."Iwasoverwhelmed."It'sallright,Mr.Feynman;we'llgetsomeonetohelpyoureadthem."Icouldn'tfigureouthowyoudothat:youeitherreadthemoryoudon'treadthem.Ihadaspecialbookshelfputinmystudydownstairs(thebookstookupseventeenfeet),andbeganreadingallthebooksthatweregoingtobediscussedinthenextmeeting.Weweregoingtostartoutwiththeelementaryschoolbooks.Itwasaprettybigjob,andIworkedallthetimeatitdowninthebasement.Mywifesaysthatduringthisperioditwaslikelivingoveravolcano.Itwouldbequietforawhile,butthenallofasudden,"BLLLLLOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!"--therewouldbeabigexplosionfromthe"volcano"below.Thereasonwasthatthebooksweresolousy.Theywerefalse.Theywerehurried.Theywouldtrytoberigorous,buttheywoulduseexamples(likeautomobilesinthestreetfor"sets")whichwerealmostOK,butinwhichtherewerealwayssomesubtleties.Thedefinitionsweren'taccurate.Everythingwasalittlebitambiguous--theyweren'tsmartenoughtounderstandwhatwasmeantby"rigor."Theywerefakingit.Theywere

teachingsomethingtheydidn'tunderstand,andwhichwas,infact,useless,atthattime,forthechild.Iunderstoodwhattheyweretryingtodo.ManypeoplethoughtwewerebehindtheRussiansafterSputnik,andsomemathematicianswereaskedtogiveadviceonhowtoteachmathbyusingsomeoftheratherinterestingmodernconceptsofmathematics.Thepurposewastoenhancemathematicsforthechildrenwhofounditdull.I'llgiveyouanexample:Theywouldtalkaboutdifferentbasesofnumbers--five,six,andsoon--toshowthepossibilities.Thatwouldbeinterestingforakidwhocouldunderstandbaseten--somethingtoentertainhismind.Butwhattheyhadturneditinto,inthesebooks,wasthateverychildhadtolearnanotherbase!Andthentheusualhorrorwouldcome:"Translatethesenumbers,whicharewritteninbaseseven,tobasefive."Translatingfromonebasetoanotherisanutterlyuselessthing.Ifyoucandoit,maybeit'sentertaining;ifyoucan'tdoit,forgetit.There'snopointtoit.Anyhow,I'mlookingatallthesebooks,allthesebooks,andnoneofthemhassaidanythingaboutusingarithmeticinscience.Ifthereareanyexamplesontheuseofarithmeticatall(mostofthetimeit'sthisabstractnewmodernnonsense),theyareaboutthingslikebuyingstamps.FinallyIcometoabookthatsays,"Mathematicsisusedinscienceinmanyways.Wewillgiveyouanexamplefromastronomy,whichisthescienceofstars."Iturnthepage,anditsays,"Redstarshaveatemperatureoffourthousanddegrees,yellowstarshaveatemperatureoffivethousanddegrees..."--sofar,sogood.Itcontinues:"Greenstarshaveatemperatureofseventhousanddegrees,bluestarshaveatemperatureoftenthousanddegrees,andvioletstarshaveatemperatureof...(somebignumber)."Therearenogreenorvioletstars,butthefiguresfortheothersareroughlycorrect.It'svaguelyright--butalready,trouble!That'sthewayeverythingwas:Everythingwaswrittenbysomebodywhodidn'tknowwhatthehellhewastalkingabout,soitwasalittlebitwrong,always!Andhowwearegoingtoteachwellbyusingbookswrittenbypeoplewhodon'tquiteunderstandwhatthey'retalkingabout,Icannotunderstand.Idon'tknowwhy,butthebooksarelousy;UNIVERSALLYLOUSY!Anyway,I'mhappywiththisbook,becauseit'sthefirstexampleofapplyingarithmetictoscience.I'mabitunhappywhenIreadaboutthestars'temperatures,butI'mnotveryunhappybecauseit'smoreorlessright--it'sjustanexampleoferror.Thencdtnesthelistofproblems.Itsays,"Johnandhisfathergoouttolookatthestars.Johnseestwobluestarsandaredstar.Hisfatherseesagreenstar,avioletstar,andtwoyellowstars.WhatisthetotaltemperatureofthestarsseenbyJohnandhisfather?"--andIwouldexplodeinhorror.

Mywifewouldtalkaboutthevolcanodownstairs.That'sonlyanexample:itwasperpetuallylikethat.Perpetualabsurdity!There'snopurposewhatsoeverinaddingthetemperatureoftwostars.Nobodyeverdoesthatexcept,maybe,tothentaketheaveragetemperatureofthestars,butnottofindoutthetotaltemperatureofallthestars!Itwasawful!Allitwaswasagametogetyoutoadd,andtheydidn'tunderstandwhattheyweretalkingabout.Itwaslikereadingsentenceswithafewtypographicalerrors,andthensuddenlyawholesentenceiswrittenbackwards.Themathematicswaslikethat.Justhopeless!ThenIcametomyfirstmeeting.Theothermembershadgivensomekindofratingstosomeofthebooks,andtheyaskedmewhatmyratingswere.Myratingwasoftendifferentfromtheirs,andtheywouldask,"Whydidyouratethatbooklow?"Iwouldsaythetroublewiththatbookwasthisandthisonpageso-and-so--Ihadmynotes.

TheydiscoveredthatIwaskindofagoldmine:Iwouldtellthem,indetail,whatwasgoodandbadinallthebooks;Ihadareasonforeveryrating.Iwouldaskthemwhytheyhadratedthisbooksohigh,andtheywouldsay,"Letushearwhatyouthoughtaboutsuchandsuchabook."Iwouldneverfindoutwhytheyratedanythingthewaytheydid.Instead,theykeptaskingmewhatIthought.Wecametoacertainbook,partofasetofthreesupplementarybookspublishedbythesamecompany,andtheyaskedmewhatIthoughtaboutit.Isaid,"Thebookdepositorydidn'tsendmethatbook,buttheothertwowerenice."Someonetriedrepeatingthequestion:"Whatdoyouthinkaboutthatbook?""Isaidtheydidn'tsendmethatone,soIdon'thaveanyjudgmentonit."Themanfromthebookdepositorywasthere,andhesaid,"Excuseme;Icanexplainthat.Ididn'tsendittoyoubecausethatbookhadn'tbeencompletedyet.There'sarulethatyouhavetohaveeveryentryinbyacertaintime,andthepublisherwasafewdayslatewithit.Soitwassenttouswithjustthecovers,andit'sblankinbetween.Thecompanysentanoteexcusingthemselvesandhopingtheycouldhavetheirsetofthreebooksconsidered,eventhoughthethirdonewouldbelate."

Itturnedoutthattheblankbookhadaratingbysomeoftheothermembers!Theycouldn'tbelieveitwasblank,becausetheyhadarating.Infact,theratingforthemissingbookwasalittlebithigherthanforthetwoothers.Thefactthattherewasnothinginthebookhadnothingtodowiththerating.Ibelievethereasonforallthisisthatthesystemworksthisway:Whenyougivebooksallovertheplacetopeople,they'rebusy;they'recareless;theythink,"Well,alotofpeoplearereadingthisbook,SOitdoesn'tmakeanydifference."Andtheyputinsomekindofnumber--someofthem,atleast;notallofthem,butsomeofthem.Thenwhenyoureceiveyourreports,youdon'tknowwhythisparticularbookhasfewerreportsthantheotherbooks--thatis,perhapsonebookhasten,andthisoneonlyhassixpeoplereporting--soyouaveragetheratingofthosewhoreported;youdon'taveragetheoneswhodidn'treport,soyougetareasonablenumber.Thisprocessofaveragingallthetimemissesthefactthatthereisabsolutelynothingbetweenthecoversofthebook!ImadethattheoryupbecauseIsawwhathappenedinthecurriculumcommission:Fortheblankbook,onlysixoutofthetenmemberswerereporting,whereaswiththeotherbooks,eightornineoutofthetenwerereporting.Andwhentheyaveragedthesix,theygotasgoodanaverageaswhentheyaveragedwitheightornine.Theywereveryembarrassedtodiscovertheyweregivingratingstothatbook,anditgavemealittlebitmoreconfidence.Itturnedouttheothermembersofthecommitteehaddonealotofworkingivingoutthebooksandcollectingreports,andhadgonetosessionsinwhichthebookpublisherswouldexplainthebooksbeforetheyreadthem;Iwastheonlyguyonthatcommissionwhoreadallthebooksanddidn'tgetanyinformationfromthebookpublishersexceptwhatwasinthebooksthemselves,thethingsthatwouldultimatelygototheschools.Thisquestionoftryingtofigureoutwhetherabookisgoodorbadbylookingatitcarefullyorbytakingthereportsofalotofpeoplewholookedatitcarelesslyislikethisfamousoldproblem:NobodywaspermittedtoseetheEmperorofChina,andthequestionwas,WhatisthelengthoftheEmperorofChina'snose?Tofindout,yougoalloverthecountryaskingpeoplewhattheythinkthelengthoftheEmperorofChina'snoseis,andyouaverageit.Andthatwouldbevery"accurate"becauseyouaveragedsomanypeople.Butit'snowaytofindanythingout;whenyouhaveaverywiderangeofpeoplewhocontributewithoutlookingcarefullyatit,youdon'timproveyourknowledgeofthesituationbyaveraging.Atfirstweweren'tsupposedtotalkaboutthecostofthebooks.Weweretoldhowmanybookswecouldchoose,sowedesignedaprogramwhichusedalotofsupplementarybooks,becauseallthenewtextbookshadfailuresofonekindoranother.Themostseriousfailureswereinthe

"newmath"books:therewerenoapplications;notenoughwordproblems.Therewasnotalkofsellingstamps;insteadtherewastoomuchtalkaboutcommutationandabstractthingsandnotenoughtranslationtosituationsintheworld.Whatdoyoudo:add,subtract,multiply,ordivide?Sowesuggestedsomebookswhichhadsomeofthatassupplementary--oneortwoforeachclassroom--inadditiontoatextbookforeachstudent.Wehaditallworkedouttobalanceeverything,aftermuchdiscussion.WhenwetookourrecommendationstotheBoardofEducation,theytoldustheydidn'thaveasmuchmoneyastheyhadthought,sowe'dhavetogooverthewholethingandcutoutthisandthat,nowtakingthecostintoconsideration,andruiningwhatwasafairlybalancedprogram,inwhichtherewasachanceforateachertofindexamplesofthethings(s)heneeded.Nowthattheychangedtherulesabouthowmanybookswecouldrecommendandwehadnomorechancetobalance,itwasaprettylousyprogram.Whenthesenatebudgetcommitteegottoit,theprogramwasemasculatedstillfurther.Nowitwasreallylousy!Iwasaskedtoappearbeforethestatesenatorswhentheissuewasbeingdiscussed,butIdeclined:Bythattime,havingarguedthisstuffsomuch,Iwastired.WehadpreparedourrecommendationsfortheBoardofEducation,andIfigureditwastheirjobtopresentittothestate--whichwaslegallyright,butnotpoliticallysound.Ishouldn'thavegivenupsosoon,buttohaveworkedsohardanddiscussedsomuchaboutallthesebookstomakeafairlybalancedprogram,andthentohavethewholethingscrappedattheend--thatwasdiscouraging!Thewholethingwasanunnecessaryeffortthatcouldhavebeenturnedaroundanddonetheoppositeway:startwiththecostofthebooks,andbuywhatyoucanafford.Whatfinallyclinchedit,andmademeultimatelyresign,wasthatthefollowingyearweweregoingtodiscusssciencebooks.Ithoughtmaybethesciencewouldbedifferent,soIlookedatafewofthem.Thesamethinghappened:somethingwouldlookgoodatfirstandthenturnouttobehorrifying.Forexample,therewasabookthatstartedoutwithfourpictures:firsttherewasawind-uptoy;thentherewasanautomobile;thentherewasaboyridingabicycle;thentherewassomethingelse.Andunderneatheachpictureitsaid,"Whatmakesitgo?"Ithought,"Iknowwhatitis:They'regoingtotalkaboutmechanics,howthespringsworkinsidethetoy;aboutchemistry,howtheengineoftheautomobileworks;andbiology,abouthowthemuscleswork."Itwasthekindofthingmyfatherwouldhavetalkedabout:"Whatmakesitgo?Everythinggoesbecausethesunisshining."Andthenwewould

havefundiscussingit:

"No,thetoygoesbecausethespringiswoundup,"Iwouldsay."Howdidthespringgetwoundup?"hewouldask."Iwounditup.""Andhowdidyougetmoving?""Fromeating.""Andfoodgrowsonlybecausethesunisshining.Soit'sbecausethesunisshiningthatallthesethingsaremoving."Thatwouldgettheconceptacrossthatmotionissimplythetransformationofthesun'spower.Iturnedthepage.Theanswerwas,forthewind-uptoy,"Energymakesitgo."Andfortheboyonthebicycle,"Energymakesitgo."Foreverything,"Energymakesitgo."Nowthatdoesn'tmeananything.Supposeit's"Wakalixes."That'sthegeneralprinciple:"Wakalixesmakesitgo."There'snoknowledgecomingin.Thechilddoesn'tlearnanything;it'sjustaword!Whattheyshouldhavedoneistolookatthewind-uptoy,seethattherearespringsinside,learnaboutsprings,learnaboutwheels,andnevermind"energy."Lateron,whenthechildrenknowsomethingabouthowthetoyactuallyworks,theycandiscussthemoregeneralprinciplesofenergy.It'salsonoteventruethat"energymakesitgo,"becauseifitstops,youcouldsay,"energymakesitstop"justaswell,Whatthey'retalkingaboutisconcentratedenergybeingtransformedintomorediluteforms,whichisaverysubtleaspectofenergy.Energyisneitherincreasednordecreasedintheseexamples;it'sjustchangedfromoneformtoanother.Andwhenthethingsstop,theenergyischangedintoheat,intogeneralchaos.Butthat'sthewayallthebookswere:Theysaidthingsthatwereuseless,mixed-up,ambiguous,confusing,andpartiallyincorrect.Howanybodycanlearnsciencefromthesebooks,Idon'tknow,becauseit'snotscience.SowhenIsawallthesehorrifyingbookswiththesamekindoftroubleasthemathbookshad,Isawmyvolcanoprocessstartingagain.SinceI

wasexhaustedfromreadingallthemathbooks,anddiscouragedfromitsallbeingawastedeffort,Icouldn'tfaceanotheryearofthat,andhadtoresign.SometimelaterIheardthattheenergy-makes-it-gobookwasgoingtoberecommendedbythecurriculumcommissiontotheBoardofEducation,soImadeonelasteffort.Ateachmeetingofthecommissionthepublicwasallowedtomakecomments,soIgotupandsaidwhyIthoughtthebookwasbad.Themanwhoreplacedmeonthecommissionsaid,"Thatbookwasapprovedbysixty-fiveengineersattheSuch-and-suchAircraftCompany!"Ididn'tdoubtthatthecompanyhadsomeprettygoodengineers,buttotakesixty-fiveengineersistotakeawiderangeofability--andtonecessarilyincludesomeprettypoorguys!Itwasonceagaintheproblemofaveragingthelengthoftheemperor'snose,ortheratingsonabookwithnothingbetweenthecovers.Itwouldhavebeenfarbettertohavethecompanydecidewhotheirbetterengineerswere,andtohavethemlookatthebook.Icouldn'tclaimthatIwassmarterthansixty-fiveotherguys--buttheaverageofsixtyfiveotherguys,certainly!Icouldn'tgetthroughtohim,andthebookwasapprovedbytheboard.WhenIwasstillonthecommission,IhadtogotoSanFranciscoafewtimesforsomeofthemeetings,andwhenIreturnedtoLosAngelesfromthefirsttrip,Istoppedinthecommissionofficetogetreimbursedformyexpenses."Howmuchdiditcost,Mr.Feynman?""Well,IflewtoSanFrancisco,soit'stheairfare,plustheparkingattheairportwhileIwasaway.""Doyouhaveyourticket?"Ihappenedtohavetheticket."Doyouhaveareceiptfortheparking?""No,butitcost$2.35toparkmycar.""Butwehavetohaveareceipt.""Itoldyouhowmuchitcost.Ifyoudon'ttrustme,whydoyouletmetellyouwhatIthinkisgoodandbadabouttheschoolbooks?"Therewasabigstewaboutthat.Unfortunately,Ihadbeenusedtogivinglecturesforsomecompanyoruniversityorforordinarypeople,notfor

thegovernment.Iwasusedto,"Whatwereyourexpenses?"--"So-and-somuch."--"Hereyouare,Mr.Feynman."IthendecidedIwasn'tgoingtogivethemareceiptforanything.AfterthesecondtriptoSanFranciscotheyagainaskedmeformyticketandreceipts."Ihaven'tgotany.""Thiscan'tgoon,Mr.Feynman.""WhenIacceptedtoserveonthecommission,Iwastoldyouweregoingtopaymyexpenses.""Butweexpectedtohavesomereceiptstoprovetheexpenses."

"Ihavenothingtoproveit,butyouknowIliveinLosAngelesandIgototheseothertowns;howthehelldoyouthinkIgetthere?"Theydidn'tgivein,andneitherdidI.Ifeelwhenyou'reinapositionlikethat,whereyouchoosenottobuckledowntotheSystem,youmustpaytheconsequencesifitdoesn'twork.SoI'mperfectlysatisfied,butIneverdidgetcompensationforthetrips.It'soneofthosegamesIplay.Theywantareceipt?I'mnotgivingthemareceipt.Thenyou'renotgoingtogetthemoney.OK,thenI'mnottakingthemoney.Theydon'ttrustme?Thehellwithit;theydon'thavetopayme.Ofcourseit'sabsurd!Iknowthat'sthewaythegovernmentworks;well,screwthegovernment!Ifeelthathumanbeingsshouldtreathumanbeingslikehumanbeings.AndunlessI'mgoingtobetreatedlikeone,I'mnotgoingtohaveanythingtodowiththem!Theyfeelbad?Theyfeelbad.Ifeelbad,too.We'lljustletitgo.Iknowthey're"protectingthetaxpayer,"butseehowwellyouthinkthetaxpayerwasbeingprotectedinthefollowingsituation.Thereweretwobooksthatwewereunabletocometoadecisionaboutaftermuchdiscussion;theywereextremelyclose.SoweleftitopentotheBoardofEducationtodecide.Sincetheboardwasnowtakingthecostintoconsideration,andsincethetwobooksweresoevenlymatched,theboarddecidedtoopenthebidsandtakethelowerone.Thenthequestioncameup,"Willtheschoolsbegettingthebooksattheregulartime,orcouldthey,perhaps,getthemalittleearlier,intimeforthecomingterm?"Onepublisher'srepresentativegotupandsaid,"Wearehappythatyouacceptedourbid;wecangetitoutintimeforthenextterm."

Arepresentativeofthepublisherthatlostoutwasalsothere,andhegotupandsaid,"Sinceourbidsweresubmittedbasedonthelaterdeadline,Ithinkweshouldhaveachanceabidagainfortheearlierdeadline,becausewetoocanmeettheearlierdeadline."Mr.Norris,thePasadenalawyerontheboard,askedtheguyfromtheotherpublisher,"Andhowmuchwoulditcostforustogetyourbooksattheearlierdate?"Andhegaveanumber:Itwasless!Thefirstguygotup:"Ifhechangeshisbid,Ihavetherighttochangemybid!"--andhisbidisstillless!Norrisasked,"Wellhowisthat--wegetthebooksearlierandit'scheaper?""Yes,"oneguysays."Wecanuseaspecialoffsetmethodwewouldn'tnormallyuse..."--someexcusewhyitcameoutcheaper.Theotherguyagreed:"Whenyoudoitquicker,itcostsless!"Thatwasreallyashock.Itendeduptwomilliondollarscheaper.Norriswasreallyincensedbythissuddenchange.Whathappened,ofcourse,wasthattheuncertaintyaboutthedatehadopenedthepossibilitythattheseguyscouldbidagainsteachother.Normally,whenbooksweresupposedtobechosenwithouttakingthecostintoconsideration,therewasnoreasontolowertheprice;thebookpublisherscouldputthepricesatanyplacetheywantedto.Therewasnoadvantageincompetingbyloweringtheprice;thewayyoucompetedwastoimpressthemembersofthecurriculumcommission.Bytheway,wheneverourcommissionhadameeting,therewerebookpublishersentertainingcurriculumcommissionmembersbytakingthemtolunchandtalkingtothemabouttheirbooks.Ineverwent.Itseemsobviousnow,butIdidn'tknowwhatwashappeningthetimeIgotapackageofdriedfruitandwhatnotdeliveredbyWesternUnionwithamessagethatread,"Fromourfamilytoyours,HappyThanksgiving--ThePamilios."ItwasfromafamilyIhadneverheardofinLongBeach,obviouslysomeonewantingtosendthistohisfriend'sfamilywhogotthenameandaddresswrong,soIthoughtI'dbetterstraightenitout.IcalledupWesternUnion,gotthetelephonenumberofthepeoplewhosentthestuff,andIcalledthem."Hello,mynameisMr.Feynman.Ireceivedapackage..."

"Oh,hello,Mr.Feynman,thisisPetePamilio"andhesaysitinsuchafriendlywaythatIthinkI'msupposedtoknowwhoheis!I'mnormallysuchaduncethatIcan'trememberwhoanyoneis.SoIsaid,"I'msorry,Mr.Pamilio,butIdon'tquiterememberwhoyouare..."ItturnedouthewasarepresentativeofoneofthepublisherswhosebooksIhadtojudgeonthecurriculumcommission."Isee.Butthiscouldbemisunderstood.""It'sonlyfamilytofamily.""Yes,butI'mjudgingabookthatyou'republishing,andmaybesomeonemightmisinterpretyourkindness!"Iknewwhatwashappening,butImadeitsoundlikeIwasacompleteidiot.Anotherthinglikethishappenedwhenoneofthepublisherssentmealeatherbriefcasewithmynamenicelywritteningoldonit.Igavethemthesamestuff:"Ican'tacceptit;I'mjudgingsomeofthebooksyou'republishing.Idon'tthinkyouunderstandthat!"Onecommissioner,whohadbeenthereforthegreatestlengthoftime,said,"Ineveracceptthestuff;itmakesmeveryupset.Butitjustgoeson."ButIreallymissedoneopportunity.IfIhadonlythoughtfastenough,Icouldhavehadaverygoodtimeonthatcommission.IgottothehotelinSanFranciscointheeveningtoattendmyveryfirstmeetingthenextday,andIdecidedtogoouttowanderinthetownandeatsomething.Icameoutoftheelevator,andsittingonabenchinthehotellobbyweretwoguyswhojumpedupandsaid,"Goodevening,Mr.Feynman.Whereareyougoing?IstheresomethingwecanshowyouinSanFrancisco?"Theywerefromapublishingcompany,andIdidn'twanttohaveanythingtodowiththem.

"I'mgoingouttoeat.""Wecantakeyououttodinner.""No,Iwanttobealone.""Well,whateveryouwant,wecanhelpyou."

Icouldn'tresist.Isaid,"Well,I'mgoingouttogetmyselfintrouble.""Ithinkwecanhelpyouinthat,too.""No,IthinkI'lltakecareofthatmyself."ThenIthought,"Whatanerror!Ishouldhaveletallthatstuffoperateandkeepadiary,sothepeopleofthestateofCaliforniacouldfindouthowfarthepublisherswillgo!"AndwhenIfoundoutaboutthetwo-million-dollardifference,Godknowswhatthepressuresare!

AlfredNobel'sOtherMistakeInCanadatheyhaveabigassociationofphysicsstudents.Theyhavemeetings;theygivepapers,andsoon.OnetimetheVancouverchapterwantedtohavemecomeandtalktothem.ThegirlinchargeofitarrangedwithmysecretarytoflyallthewaytoLosAngeleswithouttellingme.Shejustwalkedintomyoffice.Shewasreallycute,abeautifulblonde.(Thathelped;it'snotsupposedto,butitdid.)AndIwasimpressedthatthestudentsinVancouverhadfinancedthewholething.TheytreatedmesonicelyinVancouverthatnowIknowthesecretofhowtoreallybeentertainedandgivetalks:Waitforthestudentstoaskyou.Onetime,afewyearsafterIhadwontheNobelPrize,somekidsfromtheIrvinestudents'physicsclubcamearoundandwantedmetotalk.Isaid,"I'dlovetodoit.WhatIwanttodoistalkjusttothephysicsclub.But--Idon'twanttobeimmodest--I'velearnedfromexperiencethatthere'llbetrouble."ItoldthemhowIusedtogoovertoalocalhighschooleveryyeartotalktothephysicsclubaboutrelativity,orwhatevertheyaskedabout.Then,afterIgotthePrize,Iwentoverthereagain,asusual,withnopreparation,andtheystuckmeinfrontofanassemblyofthreehundredkids.Itwasamess!Igotthatshockaboutthreeorfourtimes,beinganidiotandnotcatchingonrightaway.WhenIwasinvitedtoBerkeleytogiveatalkonsomethinginphysics,Ipreparedsomethingrathertechnical,expectingtogiveittotheusualphysicsdepartmentgroup.ButwhenIgotthere,thistremendouslecturehallisfullofpeople!AndIknowthere'snotthatmanypeopleinBerkeleywhoknowthelevelatwhichIpreparedmytalk.Myproblemis,Iliketopleasethepeoplewhocometohearme,andIcan'tdoitifeverybodyandhisbrotherwantstohear:Idon'tknowmyaudience

then.AfterthestudentsunderstoodthatIcan'tjusteasilygooversomewhereandgiveatalktothephysicsclub,Isaid,"Let'scookupadull-soundingtitleandadull-soundingprofessor'sname,andthenonlythekidswhoarereallyinterestedinphysicswillbothertocome,andthosearetheoneswewant,OK?Youdon'thavetosellanything."AfewpostersappearedontheIrvinecampus:ProfessorHenryWarrenfromtheUniversityofWashingtonisgoingtotalkaboutthestructureoftheprotononMay17that3:00inRoomD102.ThenIcameandsaid,"ProfessorWarrenhadsomepersonaldifficultiesandwasunabletocomeandspeaktoyoutoday,sohetelephonedmeandaskedmeifIwouldtalktoyouaboutthesubject,sinceI'vebeendoingsomeworkinthefield.SohereIam."Itworkedgreat.Butthen,somehoworother,thefacultyadviseroftheclubfoundoutaboutthetrick,andhegotveryangryatthem.Hesaid,"Youknow,ifitwereknownthatProfessorFeynmanwascomingdownhere,alotofpeoplewouldliketohavelistenedtohim."Thestudentsexplained,"That'sjustit!"Buttheadviserwasmadthathehadn'tbeenallowedinonthejoke.Hearingthatthestudentswereinrealtrouble,Idecidedtowritealettertotheadviserandexplainedthatitwasallmyfault,thatIwouldn'thavegiventhetalkunlessthisarrangementhadbeenmade;thatIhadtoldthestudentsnottotellanyone;I'mverysorry;pleaseexcuseme,blah,blah,blah..."That'sthekindofstuffIhavetogothroughonaccountofthatdamnprize!JustlastyearIwasinvitedbythestudentsattheUniversityofAlaskainFairbankstotalk,andhadawonderfultime,exceptfortheinterviewsonlocaltelevision.Idon'tneedinterviews;there'snopointtoit.Icametotalktothephysicsstudents,andthat'sit.Ifeverybodyintownwantstoknowthat,lettheschoolnewspapertellthem.It'sonaccountoftheNobelPrizethatI'vegottohaveaninterview--I'mabigshot,right?Afriendofminewho'sarichman--heinventedsomekmdofsimpledigitalswitch--tellsmeaboutthesepeoplewhocontributemoneytomakeprizesorgivelectures:"Youalwayslookatthemcarefullytofindoutwhatcrookerythey'retryingtoabsolvetheirconscienceof."MyfriendMattSandswasoncegoingtowriteabooktobecalledAlfredNobel'sOtherMistake.FormanyyearsIwouldlook,whenthetimewascomingaroundtogiveoutthePrize,atwhomightgetit.ButafterawhileIwasn'tevenawareofwhenitwastheright"season."Ithereforehadnoideawhysomeonewouldbecallingmeat3:30or4:00inthemorning.

"ProfessorFeynman?""Hey!Whyareyoubotheringmeatthistimeinthemorning?""Ithoughtyou'dliketoknowthatyou'vewontheNobelPrize.""Yeah,butI'msleeping!Itwouldhavebeenbetterifyouhadcalledmeinthemorning."--andIhungup.Mywifesaid,"Whowasthat?""TheytoldmeIwontheNobelPrize.""Oh,Richard,whowasit?"Ioftenkidaroundandsheissosmartthatshenevergetsfooled,butthistimeIcaughther.Thephoneringsagain:"ProfessorFeynman,haveyouheard..."(Inadisappointedvoice)"Yeah."ThenIbegantothink,"HowcanIturnthisalloff?Idon'twantanyofthis!"Sothefirstthingwastotakethetelephoneoffthehook,becausecallswerecomingonerightaftertheother.Itriedtogobacktosleep,butfounditwasimpossible.Iwentdowntothestudytothink:WhatamIgoingtodo?MaybeIwon'tacceptthePrize.Whatwouldhappenthen?Maybethat'simpossible.Iputthereceiverbackonthehookandthephonerangrightaway.ItwasaguyfromTimemagazine.Isaidtohim,"Listen,I'vegotaproblem,soIwantthisofftherecord.Idon'tknowhowtogetoutofthisthing.IstheresomewaynottoacceptthePrize?"

Hesaid,"I'mafraid,sir,thatthereisn'tanywayyoucandoitwithoutmakingmoreofafussthanifyouleaveitalone."Itwasobvious.Wehadquiteaconversation,aboutfifteenortwentyminutes,andtheTimeguyneverpublishedanythingaboutit.IsaidthankyouverymuchtotheTimeguyandhungup.Thephonerangimmediately:itwasthenewspaper."Yes,youcancomeuptothehouse.Yes,it'sallright.Yes,Yes,Yes..."OneofthephonecallswasaguyfromtheSwedishconsulate.HewasgoingtohaveareceptioninLosAngeles.IfiguredthatsinceIdecidedtoacceptthePrize,I'vegottogothroughwithallthisstuff.Theconsulsaid,"Makealistofthepeopleyouwouldliketoinvite,andwe'llmakealistofthepeopleweareinviting.ThenI'llcometoyour

officeandwe'llcomparetheliststoseeifthereareanyduplicates,andwe'llmakeuptheinvitations..."SoImadeupmylist.Ithadabouteightpeople-myneighborfromacrossthestreet,myartistfriendZorthian,andsoon.Theconsulcameovertomyofficewithhislist:theGovernoroftheStateofCalifornia,theThis,theThat;Getty,theoilman;someactress--ithadthreehundredpeople!And,needlesstosay,therewasnoduplicationwhatsoever!ThenIbegantogetalittlebitnervous.Theideaofmeetingallthesedignitariesfrightenedme.TheconsulsawIwasworried."Oh,don'tworry,"hesaid."Mostofthemdon'tcome."Well,IhadneverarrangedapartythatIinvitedpeopleto,andknewtoexpectthemnottocome!Idon'thavetokowtowtoanybodyandgivethemthedelightofbeinghonoredwiththisinvitationthattheycanrefuse;it'sstupid!BythetimeIgothomeIwasreallyupsetwiththewholething.Icalledtheconsulbackandsaid,"I'vethoughtitover,andIrealizethatIjustcan'tgothroughwiththereception."Hewasdelighted.Hesaid,"You'reperfectlyright."Ithinkhewasinthesameposition--havingtosetupapartyforthisjerkwasjustapainintheass,Itturnedout,intheend,everybodywashappy.Nobodywantedtocome,includingtheguestofhonor!Thehostwasmuchbetteroff,too!Ihadacertainpsychologicaldifficultyallthewaythroughthisperiod.Yousee,Ihadbeenbroughtupbymyfatheragainstroyaltyandpomp(hewasintheuniformsbusiness,soheknewthedifferencebetweenamanwithauniformon,andwiththeuniformoff--it'sthesameman).Ihadactuallylearnedtoridiculethisstuffallmylife,anditwassostronganddeeplycutintomethatIcouldn'tgouptoakingwithoutsomestrain.Itwaschildish,Iknow,hutIwasbroughtupthatway,soitwasaproblem.PeopletoldmethattherewasaruleinSwedenthatafteryouacceptthePrize,youhavetobackawayfromthekingwithoutturningaround.Youcomedownsomesteps,acceptthePrize,andthengobackupthesteps.SoIsaidtomyself,"Allright,I'mgonnafixthem!"--andIpracticedjumpingupstairs,backwards,toshowhowridiculoustheircustomwas.Iwasinaterriblemood!Thatwasstupidandsilly,ofcourse.Ifoundoutthiswasn'taruleanymore;youcouldturnaroundwhenyoulefttheking,andwalklikeanormalhumanbeing,inthedirectionyouwereintendingtogo,withyournoseinfront.IwaspleasedtofindthatnotallthepeopleinSwedentaketheroyalceremoniesasseriouslyasyou!mightthink.Whenyougetthere,you

discoverthatthey'reonyourside.Thestudentshad,forexample,aspecialceremonyinwhichtheygrantedeachNobel-Prize-winnerthespecial"OrderoftheFrog."Whenyougetthislittlefrog,youhavetomakeafrognoise.WhenIwasyoungerIwasanti-culture,butmyfatherhadsomegoodbooksaround.OnewasabookwiththeoldGreekplayTheFrogsinit,andIglancedatitonetimeandIsawintherethatafrogtalks.Itwaswrittenas"brek,kek,kek."Ithought,"Nofrogevermadeasoundlikethat;that'sacrazywaytodescribeit!"soItriedit,andafterpracticingitawhile,Irealizedthatit'sveryaccuratelywhatafrogsays.SomychanceglanceintoabookbyAristophanesturnedouttobeuseful,lateron:Icouldmakeagoodfrognoiseatthestudents'ceremonyfortheNobel-Prize-winners!Andjumpingbackwardsfitrightin,too.SoIlikedthatpartofit;thatceremonywentwell.WhileIhadalotoffun,Ididstillhavethispsychologicaldifficultyallthewaythrough.MygreatestproblemwastheThank-YouspeechthatyougiveattheKing'sDinner.WhentheygiveyouthePrizetheygiveyousomenicelyboundbooksabouttheyearsbefore,andtheyhavealltheThank-Youspeecheswrittenoutasifthey'resomebigdeal.Soyoubegintothinkit'sofsomeimportancewhatyousayinthisThankYouspeech,becauseit'sgoingtobepublished.WhatIdidn'trealizewasthathardlyanyonewasgoingtolistentoitcarefully,andnobodywasgoingtoreadit!Ihadlostmysenseofproportion:Icouldn'tjustsaythankyouverymuch,blah-blah-blah-blah-blah;itwouldhavebeensoeasytodothat,butno,Ihavetomakeithonest.Andthetruthwas,Ididn'treallywantthisPrize,sohowdoIsaythankyouwhenIdon'twantit?MywifesaysIwasanervouswreck,worryingaboutwhatIwasgoingtosayinthespeech,butIfinallyfiguredoutawaytomakeaperfectlysatisfactory-soundingspeechthatwasneverthelesscompletelyhonest.I'msurethosewhoheardthespeechhadnoideawhatthisguyhadgonethroughinpreparingit.IstartedoutbysayingthatIhadalreadyreceivedmyprizeinthepleasureIgotindiscoveringwhatIdid,fromthefactthatothersusedmywork,andsoon.ItriedtoexplainthatIhadalreadyreceivedeverythingIexpectedtoget,andtherestwasnothingcomparedtoit.Ihadalreadyreceivedmyprize.ButthenIsaidIreceived,allatonce,abigpileofletters--Isaiditmuchbetterinthespeech--remindingmeofallthesepeoplethatIknew:lettersfromchildhoodfriendswhojumpedupwhentheyreadthemorningnewspaperandcriedout,"Iknowhim!He'sthatkidweusedtoplay

with!"andsoon;letterslikethat,whichwereverysupportiveandexpressedwhatIinterpretedasakindoflove.ForthatIthankedthem.Thespeechwentfine,butIwasalwaysgettingintoslightdifficultieswithroyalty.DuringtheKing'sDinnerIwassittingnexttoaprincesswhohadgonetocollegeintheUnitedStates.Iassumed,incorrectly,thatshehadthesameattitudesasIdid.Ifiguredshewasjustakidlikeeverybody

else.Iremarkedonhowthekingandalltheroyaltyhadtostandforsuchalongtime,shakinghandswithalltheguestsatthereceptionbeforethedinner."InAmerica,"Isaid,"wecouldmakethismoreefficient.Wewoulddesignamachinetoshakehands.""Yes,buttherewouldn'tbeverymuchofamarketforithere,"shesaid,uneasily."There'snotthatmuchroyalty.""Onthecontrary,there'dbeaverybigmarket.Atfirst,onlythekingwouldhaveamachine,andwecouldgiveittohimfree.Then,ofcourse,otherpeoplewouldwantamachine,too.Thequestionnowbecomes,whowillbeallowedtohaveamachine?Theprimeministerispermittedtobuyone;thenthepresidentofthesenateisallowedtobuyone,andthenthemostimportantseniordeputies.Sothere'saverybig,expandingmarket,andprettysoon,youwouldn'thavetogothroughthereceptionlinetoshakehandswiththemachines;you'dsendyourmachine!"Ialsosatnexttotheladywhowasinchargeoforganizingthedinner.Awaitresscamebytofillmywineglass,andIsaid,"No,thankyou.Idon'tdrink."Theladysaid,"No,no.Letherpourthedrink.""ButIdon'tdrink."Shesaid,"It'sallright.Justlook.Yousee,shehastwobottles.Weknowthatnumbereighty-eightdoesn'tdrink."(Numbereighty-eightwasonthebackofmychair.)"Theylookexactlythesame,butonehasnoalcohol.""Buthowdoyouknow?"Iexclaimed.Shesmiled."Nowwatchtheking,"shesaid."Hedoesn'tdrinkeither."Shetoldmesomeoftheproblemstheyhadhadthisparticularyear.Oneofthemwas,whereshouldtheRussianambassadorsit?Theproblemalwaysis,atdinnerslikethis,whositsnearertotheking.ThePrize-winnersnormallysitclosertothekingthanthediplomaticcorpsdoes.AndtheorderinwhichthediplomatssitisdeterminedaccordingtothelengthoftimetheyhavebeeninSweden.Nowatthattime,theUnitedStates

ambassadorhadbeeninSwedenlongerthantheRussianambassador,Butthatyear,thewinneroftheNobelPrizeforLiteraturewasMr.Sholokhov,aRussian,andtheRussianambassadorwantedtobeMr.Sholokhov'stranslator--andthereforetositnexttohim.SotheproblemwashowtolettheRussianambassadorsitclosertothekingwithoutoffendingtheUnitedStatesambassadorandtherestofthediplomaticcorps.Shesaid,"Youshouldhaveseenwhatafusstheywentthrough--lettersbackandforth,telephonecalls,andsoon--beforeIevergotpermissiontohavetheambassadorsitnexttoMr.Sholokhov.Itwasfinallyagreedthattheambassadorwouldn'tofficiallyrepresenttheembassyoftheSovietUnionthatevening;rather,hewastoheonlythetranslatorforMr.Sholokhov."Afterthedinnerwewentoffintoanotherroom,wherethereweredifferentconversationsgoingon.TherewasaPrincessSomebodyofDenmarksittingatatablewithanumberofpeoplearoundher,andIsawanemptychairattheirtableandsatdown.Sheturnedtomeandsaid,"Oh!You'reoneoftheNobel-Prize-winners.Inwhatfielddidyoudoyourwork?""Inphysics,"Isaid."Oh.Well,nobodyknowsanythingaboutthat,soIguesswecan'ttalkaboutit.""Onthecontrary,"Ianswered."It'sbecausesomebodyknowssomethingaboutitthatwecan'ttalkaboutphysics.It'sthethingsthatnobodyknowsanythingaboutthatwecandiscuss.Wecantalkabouttheweather;wecantalkaboutsocialproblems;wecantalkaboutpsychology;wecantalkaboutinternationalfinance--goldtransferswecan'ttalkabout,becausethoseareunderstood--soit'sthesubjectthatnobodyknowsanythingaboutthatwecanalltalkabout!"Idon'tknowhowtheydoit.There'sawayofformingiceonthesurfaceoftheface,andshedidit!Sheturnedtotalktosomebodyelse.AfterawhileIcouldtellIwascompletelycutoutoftheconversation,soIgotupandstartedaway.TheJapaneseambassador,whowasalsosittingatthattable,jumpedupandwalkedafterme."ProfessorFeynman,"hesaid,"thereissomethingIshouldliketotellyouaboutdiplomacy."HewentintoalongstoryabouthowayoungmaninJapangoestotheuniversityandstudiesinternationalrelationsbecausehethinkshecanmakeacontributiontohiscountry.Asasophomorehebeginstohaveslighttwingesofdoubtaboutwhatheislearning.Aftercollegehetakeshisfirstpostinanembassyandhasstillmoredoubtsabouthisunderstandingofdiplomacy,untilhefinallyrealizesthatnobodyknowsanythingaboutinternationalrelations.Atthatpoint,hecanbecomeanambassador!"SoProfessorFeynman,"hesaid,"nexttimeyougiveexamplesofthingsthat

everybodytalksaboutthatnobodyknowsabout,pleaseincludeinternationalrelations!"Hewasaveryinterestingman,andwegottotalking.Ihadalwaysbeeninterestedinhowitisthedifferentcountriesanddifferentpeoplesdevelopdifferently.Itoldtheambassadorthattherewasonethingthatalwaysseemedtometobearemarkablephenomenon:howJapanhaddevelopeditselfsorapidlytobecomesuchamodernandimportantcountryintheworld."WhatistheaspectandcharacteroftheJapanesepeoplethatmadeitpossiblefortheJapanesetodothat?"Iasked.TheambassadoransweredinawayIliketohear:"Idon'tknow,"hesaid."Imightsupposesomething,butIdon'tknowifit'strue.ThepeopleofJapanbelievedtheyhadonlyonewayofmovingup:tohavetheirchildreneducatedmorethantheywere;thatitwasveryimportantforthemtomoveoutoftheirpeasantrytobecomeeducated.Sotherehasbeenagreatenergyinthefamilytoencouragethechildrentodowellinschool,andtobepushedforward.Becauseofthistendencytolearnthingsallthetime,newideasfromtheoutsidewouldspreadthroughtheeducationalsystemveryeasily.PerhapsthatisoneofthereasonswhyJapanhasadvancedsorapidly."Allinall,ImustsayIenjoyedthevisittoSweden,intheend.Insteadofcominghomeimmediately,IwenttoCERN,theEuropeancenterfornuclearresearchinSwitzerland,togiveatalk.IappearedbeforemycolleaguesinthesuitthatIhadworntotheKing'sDinner--Ihadnevergivenatalkinasuitbefore--andIbeganbysaying,"Funnything,youknow;inSwedenweweresittingaround,talkingaboutwhetherthereareanychangesasaresultofourhavingwontheNobelPrize,andasamatteroffact,IthinkIalreadyseeachange:Iratherlikethissuit."Everybodysays"Booooo!"andWeisskopfjumpsupandtearsoffhiscoatandsays,"We'renotgonnawearsuitsatlectures!"

Itookmycoatoff,loosenedmytie,andsaid,"BythetimeIhadbeenthroughSweden,Iwasbeginningtolikethisstuff,butnowthatI'mbackintheworld,everything'sallrightagain.Thanksforstraighteningmeout!"Theydidn'twantmetochange.Soitwasveryquick:atCERNtheyundideverythingthattheyhaddoneinSweden.It'snicethatIgotsomemoney--Iwasabletobuyabeachhouse--butaltogether,IthinkitwouldhavebeenmuchnicernottohavehadthePrize--becauseyounever,anylonger,canbetakenstraightforwardlyinanypublicsituation.Inaway,theNobelPrizehasbeensomethingofapainintheneck,thoughtherewasatleastonetimethatIgotsomefunoutofit,ShortlyafterI

wonthePrize,GwenethandIreceivedaninvitationfromtheBraziliangovernmenttobetheguestsofhonorattheCarnavalcelebrationsinRio.Wegladlyacceptedandhadagreattime.Wewentfromonedancetoanotherandreviewedthebigstreetparadethatfeaturedthefamoussambaschoolsplayingtheirwonderfulrhythmsandmusic.Photographersfromnewspapersandmagazinesweretakingpicturesallthetime--"Here,theProfessorfromAmericaisdancingwithMissBrazil."Itwasfuntobea"celebrity,"hutwewereobviouslythewrongcelebrities.Nobodywasveryexcitedabouttheguestsofhonorthatyear.Ifoundoutlaterhowourinvitationhadcomeabout.GinaLollobrigidawassupposedtohetheguestofhonor,butjustbeforeCarnaval,shesaidno.TheMinisterofTourism,whowasinchargeoforganizingCarnaval,hadsomefriendsattheCenterforPhysicalResearchwhoknewIhadplayedinasambaband,andsinceIhadrecentlywontheNobelPrize,Iwasbrieflyinthenews,InamomentofpanictheMinisterandhisfriendsgotthiscrazyideatoreplaceGinaLollobrigidawiththeprofessorofphysics!Needlesstosay,theMinisterdidsuchabadjobonthatCarnavalthathelosthispositioninthegovernment.

BringingCulturetothePhysicistsNinaByers,aprofessoratUCLA,becameinchargeofthephysicscolloquiumsometimeintheearlyseventies.Thecolloquiaarenormallyaplacewherephysicistsfromotheruniversitiescomeandtalkpuretechnicalstuff.Butpartlyasaresultoftheatmosphereofthatparticularperiodoftime,shegottheideathatthephysicistsneededmoreculture,soshethoughtshewouldarrangesomethingalongthoselines:SinceLosAngelesisnearMexico,shewouldhaveacolloquiumonthemathematicsandastronomyoftheMayans--theoldcivilizationofMexico.(Remembermyattitudetoculture:Thiskindofthingwouldhavedrivenmecrazyifitwereinmyuniversity!)Shestartedlookingforaprofessortolectureonthesubject,andcouldn'tfindanybodyatUCLAwhowasquiteanexpert.Shetelephonedvariousplacesandstillcouldn'tfindanybody.ThensherememberedProfessorOttoNeugebauer,ofBrownUniversity,thegreatexpertonBabylonianmathematics.*ShetelephonedhiminRhodeIslandandaskedifheknewsomeoneontheWestCoastwhocouldlectureonMayanmathematicsandastronomy.[*WhenIwasayoungprofessoratCornell,ProfessorNeugebauerhadcomeoneyeartogiveasequenceoflectures,calledtheMessenger

Lectures,onBabylonianmathematics.Theywerewonderful,Oppenheimerlecturedthenextyear.Irememberthinkingtomyself,"Wouldn'titbenicetocome,someday,andbeabletogivelectureslikethat!"Someyearslater,whenIwasrefusinginvitationstolectureatvariousplaces,IwasinvitedtogivetheMessengerLecturesatCornell.OfcourseIcouldn'trefuse,becauseIhadputthatinmymindsoIacceptedaninvitationtogoovertoBobWilson'shouseforaweekendandwediscussedvariousideas.Theresultwasaseriesoflecturescalled"TheCharacterofPhysicalLaw."]"Yes,"hesaid."Ido.He'snotaprofessionalanthropologistorahistorian;he'sanamateur.Buthecertainlyknowsalotaboutit.HisnameisRichardFeynman."Shenearlydied!She'stryingtobringsomeculturetothephysicists,andtheonlywaytodoitistogetaphysicist!TheonlyreasonIknewanythingaboutMayanmathematicswasthatIwasgettingexhaustedonmyhoneymooninMexicowithmysecondwife,MaryLou.Shewasgreatlyinterestedin�arthistory,particularlythatofMexico.SowewenttoMexicoforourhoneymoonandweclimbeduppyramidsanddownpyramids;shehadmefollowingherallovertheplace.Sheshowedmemanyinterestingthings,suchascertainrelationshipsinthedesignsofvariousfigures,butafterafewdays(andnights)ofgoingupanddowninhotandsteamyjungles,Iwasexhausted.InsomelittleGuatemalantowninthemiddleofnowherewewentintoamuseumthathadacasedisplayingamanuscriptfullofstrangesymbols,pictures,andbarsanddots.Itwasacopy(madebyamannamedVillacorta)oftheDresdenCodex,anoriginalbookmadebytheMayansfoundinamuseuminDresden.Iknewthebarsanddotswerenumbers.MyfatherhadtakenmetotheNewYorkWorld'sFairwhenIwasalittlekid,andtheretheyhadreconstructedaMayantemple.IrememberedhimtellingmehowtheMayanshadinventedthezeroandhaddonemanyinterestingthings.Themuseumhadcopiesofthecodexforsale,soIboughtone.Oneachpageattheleftwasthecodexcopy,andontherightadescriptionandpartialtranslationinSpanish.Ilovepuzzlesandcodes,sowhenIsawthebarsanddots,Ithought,"I'mgonnahavesomefun!"IcovereduptheSpanishwithapieceofyellowpaperandbeganplayingthisgameofdecipheringtheMayanbarsanddots,sittinginthehotelroom,whilemywifeclimbedupanddownthepyramidsallday.Iquicklyfiguredoutthatabarwasequaltofivedots,whatthesymbolforzerowas,andsoon.Ittookmealittlelongertofigureoutthatthebarsanddotsalwayscarriedattwentythefirsttime,buttheycarriedateighteenthesecondtime(makingcyclesof360).Ialsoworkedoutallkinds

ofthingsaboutvariousfaces:theyhadsurelymeantcertaindaysandweeks.AfterwegotbackhomeIcontinuedtoworkonit.Altogether,it'salotoffuntotrytodeciphersomethinglikethat,becausewhenyoustartoutyoudon'tknowanything--youhavenocluetogoby.Butthenyounoticecertainnumbersthatappearoften,andadduptoothernumbers,andsoon.Therewasoneplaceinthecodexwherethenumber584wasveryprominent.This584wasdividedintoperiodsof236,90,250,and8.Anotherprominentnumberwas2920,or584x5(also365x8).Therewasatableofmultiplesof2920upto13x2920,thenthereweremultiplesof13x2920forawhile,andthen--funnynumbers!Theywereerrors,asfarasIcouldtell.OnlymanyyearslaterdidIfigureoutwhattheywere.Becausefiguresdenotingdayswereassociatedwiththis584whichwasdividedupsopeculiarly,Ifiguredifitwasn'tsomemythicalperiodofsomesort,itmightbesomethingastronomical,FinallyIwentdowntotheastronomylibraryandlookeditup,andfoundthat583.92daysistheperiodofVenusasitappearsfromtheearth.Thenthe236,90,250,8becameapparent:itmustbethephasesthatVenusgoesthrough.It'samorningstar,thenitcan'tbeseen(it'sonthefarsideofthesun);thenit'saneveningstar,andfinallyitdisappearsagain(it'sbetweentheearthandthesun).The90andthe8aredifferentbecauseVenusmovesmoreslowlythroughtheskywhenitisonthefarsideofthesuncomparedtowhenitpassesbetweentheearthandthesun.Thedifferencebetweenthe236andthe250mightindicateadifferencebetweentheeasternandwesternhorizonsinMayaland.Idiscoveredanothertablenearbythathadperiodsof11,959days.Thisturnedouttobeatableforpredictinglunareclipses.Stillanothertablehadmultiplesof91indescendingorder.Ineverdidfigurethatoneout(norhasanyoneelse).WhenIhadworkedoutasmuchasIcould,IfinallydecidedtolookattheSpanishcommentarytoseehowmuchIwasabletofigureout.Itwascompletenonsense.ThissymbolwasSaturn,thissymbolwasagod--itdidn'tmaketheslightestbitofsense.SoIdidn'thavetohavecoveredthecommentary;Iwouldn'thavelearnedanythingfromitanyway.AfterthatIbegantoreadalotabouttheMayans,andfoundthatthegreatmaninthisbusinesswasEricThompson,someofwhosebooksInowhave.WhenNinaByerscalledmeupIrealizedthatIhadlostmycopyoftheDresdenCodex.(IhadlentittoMrs.H.PRobertson,whohadfoundaMayancodexinanoldtrunkofanantiquedealerinParis.ShehadbroughtitbacktoPasadenaformetolookat--Istillrememberdrivinghomewith

itonthefrontseatofmycar,thinking,"I'vegottabecarefuldriving:I'vegotthenewcodex"--butassoonasIlookedatitcarefully,Icouldseeimmediatelythatitwasacompletefake.AfteralittlebitofworkIcouldfindwhereeachpictureinthenewcodexhadcomefromintheDresden

Codex.SoIlenthermybooktoshowher,andIeventuallyforgotshehadit.)SothelibrariansatUCLAworkedveryhardtofindanothercopyofVillacorta'srenditionoftheDresdenCodex,andlentittome.Ididallthecalculationsalloveragain,andinfactIgotalittlebitfurtherthanIdidbefore:Ifiguredoutthatthose"funnynumbers"whichIthoughtbeforewereerrorswerereallyintegermultiplesofsomethingclosertothecorrectperiod(583.923)--theMayanshadrealizedthat584wasn'texactlyright!*[*WhileIwasstudyingthistableofcorrectionsfortheperiodofvenus,IdiscoveredarareexaggerationbyMr.Thompson.Hewrotethatbylookingatthetable,youcandeducehowtheMayanscalculatedthecorrectperiodofVenus--usethisnumberfourtimesandthatdifferenceonceandyougetanaccuracyofonedayin4000years,whichisreallyquiteremarkable,especiallysincetheMayansobservedforonlyafewhundredyears.Thompsonhappenedtopickacombinationwhichfitwhathethoughtwastherightperiodftr'Venus,583.92.Butwhenyouputinamoreexactfigure,somethinglike583.923,youfindtheMayanswereoffbymore.Ofcourse,bychoosingadifferentcombinationyoucangetthenumbersinthetabletogiveyou583.923withthesameremarkableaccuracy!]AfterthecolloquiumatUCLAProfessorByerspresentedmewithsomebeautifulcolorreproductionsoftheDresdenCodex.AfewmonthslaterCaltechwantedmetogivethesamelecturetothepublicinPasadena.RobertRowan,arealestateman,lentmesomeveryvaluablestonecarvingsofMayangodsandceramicfiguresfortheCaltechlecture,ItwasprobablyhighlyillegaltotakesomethinglikethatoutofMexico,andtheyweresovaluablethatwehiredsecurityguardstoprotectthem.AfewdaysbeforetheCaltechlecturetherewasabigsplurgeintheNewYorkTimes,whichreportedthatanewcodexhadbeendiscovered.Therewereonlythreecodices(twoofwhicharehardtogetanythingoutof)knowntoexistatthetime-hundredsofthousandshadbeenburnedbySpanishpriestsas"worksoftheDevil."MycousinwasworkingfortheAP,soshegotmeaglossypicturecopyofwhattheNewYorkTimeshadpublishedandImadeaslideofittoincludeinmytalk.

Thisnewcodexwasafake.InmylectureIpointedoutthatthenumberswereinthestyleoftheMadridcodex,butwere236,90,250,8--ratheracoincidence!Outofthehundredthousandbooksoriginallymadewegetanotherfragment,andithasthesamethingonitastheotherfragments!Itwasobviously,again,oneoftheseput-togetherthingswhichhadnothingoriginalinit.Thesepeoplewhocopythingsneverhavethecouragetomakeupsomethingreallydifferent.Ifyoufindsomethingthatisreallynew,it'sgottohavesomethingdifferent.ArealhoaxwouldbetotakesomethingliketheperiodofMars,inventamythologytogowithit,andthendrawpicturesassociatedwiththismythologywithnumbersappropriatetoMars--notinanobviousfashion;rather,havetablesofmultiplesoftheperiodwithsomemysterious"errors,"andsoon.Thenumbersshouldhavetobeworkedoutalittlebit.Thenpeoplewouldsay,"Geez!ThishastodowithMars!"Inaddition,thereshouldbeanumberofthingsinitthatarenotunderstandable,andarenotexactlylikewhathasbeenseenbefore.Thatwouldmakeagoodfake.Igotabigkickoutofgivingmytalkon"DecipheringMayanHieroglyphics."ThereIwas,beingsomethingI'mnot,again.Peoplefiledintotheauditoriumpasttheseglasscases,admiringthecolorreproductionsoftheDresdenCodexandtheauthenticMayanartifactswatchedoverbyanarmedguardinuniform;theyheardatwo-hourlectureonMayanmathematicsandastronomyfromanamateurexpertinthefield(whoeventoldthemhowtospotafakecodex),andthentheywentout,admiringthecasesagain.MurrayGell-Manncounteredinthefollowingweeksbygivingabeautifulsetofsixlecturesconcerningthelinguisticrelationsofallthelanguagesoftheworld.

FoundOutinParisIgaveaseriesoflecturesinphysicsthattheAddisonWesleyCompanymadeintoabook,andonetimeatlunchwewerediscussingwhatthecoverofthebookshouldlooklike,Ithoughtthatsincethelectureswereacombinationoftherealworldandmathematics,itwouldbeagoodideatohaveapictureofadrum,andontopofitsomemathematicaldiagrams--circlesandlinesforthenodesoftheoscillatingdrumheads,whichwerediscussedinthebook.Thebookcameoutwithaplain,redcover,butforsomereason,inthepreface,there'sapictureofmeplayingadrum.Ithinktheyputitintheretosatisfythisideatheygotthat"theauthorwantsadrumsomewhere."Anyway,everybodywonderswhythatpictureofmeplayingdrumsisinthe

prefaceoftheFeynmanLectures,becauseitdoesn'thaveanydiagramsonit,oranyotherthingswhichwouldmakeitclear.(It'struethatIlikedrumming,butthat'sanotherstory.)AtLosAlamosthingswereprettytensefromallthework,andtherewasn'tanywaytoamuseyourself:thereweren'tanymovies,oranythinglikethat.ButIdiscoveredsomedrumsthattheboys'school,whichhadbeentherepreviously,hadcollected:LosAlamoswasinthemiddleofNewMexico,wheretherearelotsofIndianvillages.SoIamusedmyself--sometimesalone,sometimeswithanotherguy--justmakingnoise,playingonthesedrums.Ididn'tknowanyparticularrhythm,buttherhythmsoftheIndianswererathersimple,thedrumsweregood,andIhadfun.SometimesIwouldtakethedrumswithmeintothewoodsatsomedistance,soIwouldn'tdisturbanybody,andwouldbeatthemwithastick,andsing.Irememberonenightwalkingaroundatree,lookingatthemoon,andbeatingthedrum,makingbelieveIwasanIndian.Onedayaguycameuptomeandsaid,"AroundThanksgivingyouweren'toutinthewoodsbeatingadrum,wereyou?""Yes,Iwas,"Isaid."Oh!Thenmywifewasright!"Thenhetoldmethisstory:Onenightheheardsomedrummusicinthedistance,andwentupstairstotheotherguyintheduplexhousethattheylivedin,andtheotherguyheardittoo.Remember,alltheseguyswerefromtheEast.Theydidn'tknowanythingaboutIndians,andtheywereveryinterested:theIndiansmusthavebeenhavingsomekindofceremony,orsomethingexciting,andthetwomendecidedtogoouttoseewhatitwas.Astheywalkedalong,themusicgotlouderastheycamenearer,andtheybegantogetnervous.TheyrealizedthattheIndiansprobablyhadscoutsoutwatchingsothatnobodywoulddisturbtheirceremony.Sotheygotdownontheirbelliesandcrawledalongthetrailuntilthesoundwasjustoverthenexthill,apparently.TheycrawledupoverthehillanddiscoveredtotheirsurprisethatitwasonlyoneIndian,doingtheceremonyallbyhimself--dancingaroundatree,beatingthedrumwithastick,chanting.Thetwoguysbackedawayfromhimslowly,becausetheydidn'twanttodisturbhim:Hewasprobablysettingupsomekindofspell,orsomething.Theytoldtheirwiveswhattheysaw,andthewivessaid,"Oh,itmusthavebeenFeynman--helikestobeatdrums.""Don'tberidiculous!"themensaid."EvenFeynmanwouldn'tbethatcrazy!"SothenextweektheysetabouttryingtofigureoutwhotheIndianwas.TherewereIndiansfromthenearbyreservationworkingatLosAlamos,

sotheyaskedoneIndian,whowasatechnicianinthetechnicalarea,whoitcouldbe.TheIndianaskedaround,butnoneoftheotherIndiansknewwhoitmightbe,excepttherewasoneIndianwhomnobodycouldtalkto.HewasanIndianwhoknewhisrace:Hehadtwobigbraidsdownhisbackandheldhisheadhigh;wheneverhewalkedanywherehewalkedwithdignity,alone;andnobodycouldtalktohim.Youwouldbeafraidtogouptohimandaskhimanything;hehadtoomuchdignity.Hewasafurnaceman.SonobodyeverhadthenervetoaskthisIndian,andtheydecideditmusthavebeenhim.(IwaspleasedtofindthattheyhaddiscoveredsuchatypicalIndian,suchawonderfulIndian,thatImighthavebeen.Itwasquiteanhonortobemistakenforthisman.)Sothefellawho'dbeentalkingtomewasjustcheckingatthelastminute--husbandsalwaysliketoprovetheirwiveswrong--andhefoundout,ashusbandsoftendo,thathiswifewasquiteright.Igotprettygoodatplayingthedrums,andwouldplaythemwhenwehadparties.Ididn'tknowwhatIwasdoing;Ijustmaderhythms--andIgotareputation:EverybodyatLosAlamosknewIlikedtoplaydrums.Whenthewarwasover,andweweregoingbackto"civilization,"thepeoplethereatLosAlamosteasedmethatIwouldn'tbeabletoplaydrumsanymorebecausetheymadetoomuchnoise.AndsinceIwastryingtobecomeadignifiedprofessorinIthaca,IsoldthedrumthatIhadboughtsometimeduringmystayatLosAlamos.ThefollowingsummerIwentbackouttoNewMexicotoworkonsomereport,andwhenIsawthedrumsagain,Icouldn'tstandit.Iboughtmyselfanotherdrum,andthought,"I'lljustbringitbackwithmethistimesoIcanlookatit."ThatyearatCornellIhadasmallapartmentinsideabiggerhouse.Ihadthedruminthere,justtolookat,butonedayIcouldn'tquiteresist:Isaid,"Well,I'lljustbeveryquiet..."Isatonachairandputthedrumbetweenmylegsandplayeditwithmyfingersalittlebit:bup,bup,bup,buddlebup.Thenalittlebitlouder--afterall,itwastemptingme!IgotalittlebitlouderandBOOM!--thetelephonerang."Hello?""Thisisyourlandlady.Areyoubeatingdrumsdownthere?""Yes;I'msor--"

"Itsoundssogood.IwonderifIcouldcomedownandlistentoitmoredirectly?"SofromthattimeonthelandladywouldalwayscomedownwhenI'dstarttodrum.Thatwasfreedom,allright.Ihadaverygoodtimefromthenon,beatingthedrums.

AroundthattimeImetaladyfromtheBelgianCongowhogavemesomeethnologicalrecords.Inthosedays,recordslikethatwererare,withdrummusicfromtheWatusiandothertribesofAfrica.IreallyadmiredtheWatusidrummersvery,verymuch,andIusedtotrytoimitatethem--notveryaccurately,butjusttosoundsomethinglikethem--andIdevelopedalargernumberofrhythmsasaresultofthat.OnetimeIwasintherecreationhall,lateatnight,whenthereweren'tmanypeople,andIpickedupawastebasketandstartedtobeatthebackendofit.Someguyfromwaydownstairscamerunningallthewayupandsaid,"Hey!Youplaydrums!"Itturnedouthereallyknewhowtoplaydrums,andhetaughtmehowtoplaybongos.TherewassomeguyinthemusicdepartmentwhohadacollectionofAfricanmusic,andI'dcometohishouseandplaydrums.He'dmakerecordingsofme,andthenathisparties,hehadagamethathecalled"AfricaorIthaca?"inwhichhe'dplaysomerecordingsofdrummusic,andtheideawastoguesswhetherwhatyouwerehearingwasmanufacturedinthecontinentofAfrica,orlocally.SoImusthavebeenfairlygoodatimitatingAfricanmusicbythattime.WhenIcametoCaltech,IusedtogodowntotheSunsetStripalot.OnetimetherewasagroupofdrummersledbyabigfellafromNigeriacalledUkonu,playingthiswonderfuldrummusie--justpercussion--atoneofthenightclubs.Thesecond-in-command,whowasespeciallynicetome,invitedmetocomeuponthestagewiththemandplayalittle.SoIgotuptherewiththeotherguysandplayedalongwiththemonthedrumsforalittlewhile.IaskedthesecondguyifUkonuevergavelessons,andhesaidyes.SoIusedtogodowntoUkonu'splace,nearCenturyBoulevard(wheretheWattsriotslateroccurred)togetlessonsindrumming.Thelessonsweren'tveryefficient:hewouldstallaround,talktootherpeople,andbeinterruptedbyallkindsofthings.Butwhentheyworkedtheywereveryexciting,andIlearnedalotfromhim.AtdancesnearUkonu'splace,therewouldbeonlyafewwhites,butitwasmuchmorerelaxedthanitistoday.Onetimetheyhadadrumming

contest,andIdidn'tdoverywell:Theysaidmydrummingwas"toointellectual";theirswasmuchmorepulsing.OnedaywhenIwasatCaltechIgotaveryserioustelephonecall."Hello?""ThisisMr.Trowbridge,MahsterofthePolytechnicSchool."ThePolytechnicSchoolwasasmall,privateschoolwhichwasacrossthestreetdiagonallyfromCaltech.Mr.Trowbridgecontinuedinaveryformalvoice:"Ihaveafriendofyourshere,whowouldliketospeaktoyou.""OK.""Hello,Dick!"ItwasUkonu!ItturnedouttheMasterofthePolytechnicSchoolwasnotasformalashewasmakinghimselfouttobe,andhadagreatsenseofhumor.Ukonuwasvisitingtheschooltoplayforthekids,soheinvitedmetocomeoverandbeonthestagewithhim,andplayalong.Soweplayedforthekidstogether:Iplayedbongos(whichIhadinmyoffice)againsthisbigtumbadrum.Ukonuhadaregularthing:HewenttovariousschoolsandtalkedabouttheAfricandrumsandwhattheymeant,andtoldaboutthemusic.Hehadaterrificpersonalityandagrandsmile;hewasavery,veryniceman.Hewasjustsensationalonthedrums--hehadrecordsout--andwasherestudyingmedicine.HewentbacktoNigeriaatthebeginningofthewarthere--orbeforethewar--andIdon'tknowwhathappenedtohim.AfterUkonuleftIdidn'tdoverymuchdrumming,exceptatpartiesonceinawhile,entertainingalittlebit.OnetimeIwasatadinnerpartyattheLeightons'house,andBob'ssonRalphandafriendaskedmeifIwantedtodrum.Thinkingthattheywereaskingmetodoasolo,Isaidno.Butthentheystarteddrummingonsomelittlewoodentables,andIcouldn'tresist:Igrabbedatabletoo,andthethreeofusplayedontheselittlewoodentables,whichmadelotsofinterestingsounds.RalphandhisfriendTomRutishauserlikedplayingdrums,andwebeganmeetingeveryweektojustadlib,developrhythmsandworkstuffout.Thesetwoguyswererealmusicians:Ralphplayedpiano,andTornplayedthecello.AllIhaddonewasrhythms,andIdidn'tknowanythingaboutmusic,which,asfarasIcouldtell,wasjustdrummingwithnotes.Butweworkedoutalotofgoodrhythmsandplayedafewtimesatsomeoftheschoolstoentertainthekids.Wealsoplayedrhythmsforadanceclassatalocalcollege--somethingIlearnedwasfuntodowhenIwasworkingatBrookhavenforawhile--andcalledourselvesTheThreeQuarks,soyoucanfigureoutwhenthatwas.OnetimeIwenttoVancouvertotalktothestudentsthere,andtheyhadapartywitharealhotrock-typebandplayingdowninthebasement.

Thebandwasverynice:theyhadanextracowbelllyingaround,andtheyencouragedmetoplayit.SoIstartedtoplayalittlebit,andsincetheirmusicwasveryrhythmic(andthecowbellisjustanaccompaniment--youcan'tscrewitup)Ireallygothot.Afterthepartywasover,theguywhoorganizedthepartytoldmethatthebandleadersaid,"Geez!Whowasthatguywhocamedownandplayedonthecowbell!Hecanreallyknockoutarhythmonthatthing!Andbytheway,thatbigshotthispartywassupposedtobefor--youknow,henevercamedownhere;Ineverdidseewhoitwas!"Anyhow,atCaltechthere'sagroupthatputsonplays.SomeoftheactorsareCaltechstudents;othersarefromtheoutside.Whenthere'sasmallpart,suchasapolicemanwho'ssupposedtoarrestsomebody,theygetoneoftheprofessorstodoit.It'salwaysabigjoke-theprofessorcomesonandarrestssomebody,andgoesoffagain.AfewyearsagothegroupwasdoingGuysandDolls,andtherewasascenewherethemainguytakesthegirltoHavana,andthey'reinanightclub.Thedirectorthoughtitwouldbeagoodideatohavethebongoplayeronthestageinthenightclubbeme.Iwenttothefirstrehearsal,andtheladydirectingtheshowpointedtotheorchestraconductorandsaid,"Jackwillshowyouthemusic."Well,thatpetrifiedme.Idon'tknowhowtoreadmusic;IthoughtallIhadtodowasgetupthereonthestageandmakesomenoise.Jackwassittingbythepiano,andhepointedtothemusicandsaid,"OK,youstarthere,yousee,andyoudothis.ThenIplayplonk,plonk,plonk"--heplayedafewnotesonthepiano.Heturnedthepage."Thenyouplaythis,andnowwebothpauseforaspeech,yousee,here"--andheturnedsomemorepagesandsaid,"Finally,youplaythis."Heshowedmethis"music"thatwaswritteninsomekindofcrazypatternoflittlex'sinthebarsandlines.Hekepttellingmeallthisstuff,thinkingIwasamusician,anditwascompletelyimpossibleformetorememberanyofit.

Fortunately,Igotillthenextday,andcouldn'tcometothenextrehearsal,IaskedmyfriendRalphtogoforme,andsincehe'samusician,heshouldknowwhatit'sallabout.Ralphcamebackandsaid,"It'snotsobad.First,attheverybeginning,youhavetodosomethingexactlyrightbecauseyou'restartingtherhythmoutfortherestoftheorchestra,whichwillmeshinwithit.Butaftertheorchestracomesin,it'samatterofad-libbing,andtherewillbetimeswhenwehavetopauseforspeeches,butIthinkwe'llbeabletofigurethatoutfromthecuestheorchestraconductor

gives."InthemeantimeIhadgottenthedirectortoacceptRalphtoo,sothetwoofuswouldbeonthestage.He'dplaythetumbaandI'dplaythebongos--sothatmadeitahelluvaloteasierforme.SoRalphshowedmewhattherhythmwas.Itmusthavebeenonlyabouttwentyorthirtybeats,butithadtobejustso.I'dneverhadtoplayanythingjustso,anditwasveryhardformetogetitright.Ralphwouldpatientlyexplain,"lefthand,andrighthand,andtwolefthands,thenright.Iworkedveryhard,andfinally,veryslowly,Ibegantogettherhythmjustright.Ittookmeahelluvalongtime-manydays--togetit.Aweeklaterwewenttotherehearsalandfoundtherewasanewdrummerthere-theregulardrummerhadquitthebandtodosomethingelse--andweintroducedourselvestohim:"Hi.We'retheguyswhoaregoingtobeonstagefortheHavanascene.""Oh,hi.Letmefindthescenehere..."andheturnedtothepagewhereourscenewas,tookouthisdrummingstick,andsaid,"Oh,youstartoffthescenewith..."andwithhisstickagainstthesideofhisdrumhegoesbing,bong,bang-a-bang,bing-a-bing,bang,bangatfullspeed,whilehewaslookingatthemusic!Whatashockthatwastome.Ihadworkedforfourdaystotrytogetthatdamnrhythm,andhecouldjustpatteritrightout!Anyway,afterpracticingagainandagainIfinallygotitstraightandplayeditintheshow.Itwasprettysuccessful:Everybodywasamusedtoseetheprofessoronstageplayingthebongos,andthemusicwasn'tsobad;butthatpartatthebeginning,thathadtobethesame:thatwashard.IntheHavananightclubscenesomeofthestudentshadtodosomesortofdancethathadtobechoreographed.SothedirectorhadgottenthewifeofoneoftheguysatCaltech,whowasachoreographerworkingatthattimeforUniversalStudios,toteachtheboyshowtodance.Shelikedourdrumming,andwhentheshowswereover,sheaskedusifwewouldliketodruminSanFranciscoforaballet."WHAT?"Yes.ShewasmovingtoSanFrancisco,andwaschoreographingaballetforasmallballetschoolthere.Shehadtheideaofcreatingaballetinwhichthemusicwasnothingbutpercussion.ShewantedRalphandmetocomeovertoherhousebeforeshemovedandplaythedifferentrhythmsthatweknew,andfromthoseshewouldmakeupastorythatwentwiththerhythms.Ralphhadsomemisgivings,butIencouragedhimtogoalongwiththisadventure.Ididinsist,however,thatshenottellanybodytherethatIwas

aprofessorofphysics,NobelPrize-winner,oranyotherbaloney.Ididn'twanttodothedrummingifIwasdoingitbecause,asSamuelJohnsonsaid,Ifyouseeadogwalkingonhishindlegs,it'snotsomuchthathedoesitwell,asthathedoesitatall.Ididn'twanttodoitifIwasaphysicsprofessordoingitatall;wewerejustsomemusiciansshehadfoundinLosAngeles,whoweregoingtocomeupandplaythisdrummusicthattheyhadcomposed.Sowewentovertoherhouseandplayedvariousrhythmswehadworkedout.Shetooksomenotes,andsoonafter,thatsamenight,shegotthisstorycookedupinhermindandsaid,"OK,Iwantfifty-tworepetitionsofthis;fortybarsofthat;whateverofthis,that,this,that..."Wewenthome,andthenextnightwemadeatapeatRalph'shouse.Weplayedalltherhythmsforafewminutes,andthenRalphmadesomecutsandspliceswithhistaperecordertogetthevariouslengthsright.Shetookacopyofourtapewithherwhenshemoved,andbegantrainingthedancerswithitinSanFrancisco.Meanwhilewehadtopracticewhatwasonthattape:fifty-twocyclesofthis,fortycyclesofthat,andsoon.Whatwehaddonespontaneously(andspliced)earlier,wenowhadtolearnexactly.Wehadtoimitateourowndamntape!Thebigproblemwascounting.IthoughtRalphwouldknowhowtodothatbecausehe'samusician,butwebothdiscoveredsomethingfunny.The"playingdepartment"inourmindswasalsothe"talkingdepartment"forcounting--wecouldn'tplayandcountatthesametime!WhenwegottoourfirstrehearsalinSanFrancisco,wediscoveredthatbywatchingthedancerswedidn'thavetocountbecausethedancerswentthroughcertainmotions.TherewereanumberofthingsthathappenedtousbecauseweweresupposedtobeprofessionalmusiciansandIwasn't.Forexample,oneofthesceneswasaboutabeggarwomanwhosiftsthroughthesandonaCaribbeanbeachwherethesocietyladies,whohadcomeoutatthebeginningoftheballet,hadbeen.ThemusicthatthechoreographerhadusedtocreatethisscenewasmadeonaspecialdrumthatRalphandhisfatherhadmaderatheramateurishlysomeyearsbefore,andoutofwhichwehadneverhadmuchluckingettingagoodtone.Butwediscoveredthatifwesatoppositeeachotheronchairsandputthis"crazydrum"betweenusonourknees,withoneguybeatingbidda-bidda-bidda-bidda-biddarapidlywithhistwofingers,constantly,theotherfellacouldpushonthedrumindifferentplaceswithhistwohandsandchangethepitch.Nowitwouldgobooda-booda-booda-bidda-beeda-beeda-beeda-bidda-booda-booda-booda-badda-bidda-bidda-bidda-badda,creatingalotofinterestingsounds.

Well,thedancerwhoplayedthebeggarwomanwantedtherisesandfallstocoincidewithherdance(ourtapehadbeenmadearbitrarilyforthisscene),sosheproceededtoexplaintouswhatshewasgoingtodo:"First,Idofourofthesemovementsthisway;thenIbenddownandsiftthroughthesandthiswayforeightcounts;thenIstandandturnthisway."IknewdamnwellIcouldn'tkeeptrackofthis,soIinterruptedher:"Justgoaheadanddothedance,andI'llplayalong.""Butdon'tyouwanttoknowhowthedancegoes?Yousee,afterI'vefinishedthesecondsiftingpart,Igoforeightcountsoverthisway."Itwasnouse;Icouldn'trememberanything,andIwantedtointerruptheragain,butthentherewasthisproblem:IwouldlooklikeIwasnotarealmusician!Well,Ralphcoveredformeverysmoothlybyexplaining,"Mr.Feynmanhasaspecialtechniqueforthistypeofsitualion:Hepreferstodevelopthedynamicsdirectlyandintuitively,asheseesyoudance.Let'stryitoncethatway,andifyou'renotsatisfied,wecancorrectit."

Well,shewasafirst-ratedancer,andyoucouldanticipatewhatshewasgoingtodo.Ifshewasgoingtodigintothesand,shewouldgetreadytogodownintothesand;everymotionwassmoothandexpected,soitwasrathereasytomakethebzzzzsandbshshsandboodasandbiddaswithmyhandsquiteappropriatetowhatshewasdoing,andshewasverysatisfiedwithit.Sowegotpastthatmomentwherewemighthavehadourcoverblown.Theballetwaskindofasuccess.Althoughthereweren'tmanypeopleintheaudience,thepeoplewhocametoseetheperformanceslikeditverymuch.BeforewewenttoSanFranciscofortherehearsalsandtheperformances,weweren'tsureofthewholeidea.Imean,wethoughtthechoreographerwasinsane:first,theballethasonlypercussion;second,thatwe'regoodenoughtomakemusicforaballetandgetpaidforitwassurelycrazy!Forme,whohadneverhadany"culture,"toendupasaprofessionalmusicianforaballetwastheheightofachievement,asitwere.Wedidn'tthinkthatshe'dbeabletofindballetdancerswhowouldbewillingtodancetoourdrummusic.(Asamatteroffact,therewasoneprimadonnafromBrazil,thewifeofthePortugueseconsul,whodecideditwasbeneathhertodancetoit.)Buttheotherdancersseemedtolikeitverymuch,andmyheartfeltgoodwhenweplayedforthemforthefirsttimeinrehearsal.Thedelighttheyfeltwhentheyheardhowourrhythmsreallysounded(theyhaduntilthenbeenusingourtapeplayedonasmallcassetterecorder)wasgenuine,andIhadmuchmoreconfidencewhenI

sawhowtheyreactedtoouractualplaying.Andfromthecommentsofthepeoplewhohadcometotheperformances,werealizedthatwewereasuccess.Thechoreographerwantedtodoanotherballettoourdrummingthefollowingspring,sowewentthroughthesameprocedure.Wemadeatapeofsomemorerhythms,andshemadeupanotherstory,thistimesetinAfrica.ItalkedtoProfessorMungeratCaltechandgotsomerealAfricanphrasestosingatthebeginning(GAwabaNYUmaGAwaWO,orsomethinglikethat),andIpracticedthemuntilIhadthemjustso.Later,wewentuptoSanFranciscoforafewrehearsals.Whenwefirstgotthere,wefoundtheyhadaproblem.Theycouldn'tfigureouthowtomakeelephanttusksthatlookedgoodonstage.Theonestheyhadmadeoutofpapierm�ch�weresobadthatsomeofthedancerswereembarrassedtodanceinfrontofthem.Wedidn'tofferanysolution,butratherwaitedtoseewhatwouldhappenwhentheperformancescamethefollowingweekend.Meanwhile,IarrangedtovisitWernerErhard,whomIhadknownfromparticipatinginsomeconferenceshehadorganized.Iwassittinginhisbeautifulhome,listeningtosomephilosophyorideahewastryingtoexplaintome,whenallofasuddenIwashypnotized."What'sthematter?"hesaid.MyeyespoppedoutasIexclaimed,"Tusks!"Behindhim,onthefloor,weretheseenormous,massive,beautifulivorytusks!Helentusthetusks.Theylookedverygoodonstage(tothegreatreliefofthedancers):realelephanttusks,supersize,courtesyofWernerErhard.ThechoreographermovedtotheEastCoast,andputonherCaribbeanballetthere.WeheardlaterthatsheenteredthatballetinacontestforchoreographersfromallovertheUnitedStates,andshefinishedfirstorsecond.Encouragedbythissuccess,sheenteredanothercompetition,thistimeinParis,forchoreographersfromallovertheworld.Shebroughtahigh-qualitytapewehadmadeinSanFranciscoandtrainedsomedancersthereinFrancetodoasmallsectionoftheballet--that'showsheenteredthecontest.Shedidverywell.Shegotintothefinalround,wheretherewereonlytwoleft--aLatviangroupthatwasdoingastandardballetwiththeirregulardancerstobeautifulclassicalmusic,andamaverickfromAmerica,withonlythetwodancersthatshehadtrainedinFrance,dancingtoaballetwhichhadnothingbutourdrummusic.

Shewasthefavoriteoftheaudience,butitwasn'tapopularitycontest,andthejudgesdecidedthattheLatvianshadwon.Shewenttothejudgesafterwardstofindouttheweaknessinherballet."Well,Madame,themusicwasnotreallysatisfactory.Itwasnotsubtleenough.Controlledcrescendoesweremissing..Andsowewereatlastfoundout:WhenwecametosomereallyculturedpeopleinParis,whoknewmusicfromdrums,weflunkedout.

AlteredStatesIusedtogivealectureeveryWednesdayoverattheHughesAircraftCompany,andonedayIgottherealittleaheadoftime,andwasflirtingaroundwiththereceptionist,asusual,whenabouthalfadozenpeoplecamein--aman,awoman,andafewothers.Ihadneverseenthembefore.Themansaid,"IsthiswhereProfessorFeynmanisgivingsomelectures?""Thisistheplace,"thereceptionistreplied.Themanasksifhisgroupcancometothelectures."Idon'tthinkyou'dlike'emmuch,"Isay."They'rekindoftechnical."Prettysoonthewoman,whowasratherclever,figureditout:"Ibetyou'reProfessorFeynman!"ItturnedoutthemanwasJohnLilly,whohadearlierdonesomeworkwithdolphins.Heandhiswifeweredoingsomeresearchintosensedeprivation,andhadbuiltsometanks."Isn'tittruethatyou'resupposedtogethallucinationsunderthosecircumstances?"Iasked,excitedly."Thatistrueindeed."Ihadalwayshadthisfascinationwiththeimagesfromdreamsandotherimagesthatcometothemindthathaven'tgotadirectsensorysource,andhowitworksinthehead,andIwantedtoseehallucinations.Ihadoncethoughttotakedrugs,butIgotkindofscaredofthat:Ilovetothink,andIdon'twanttoscrewupthemachine.Butitseemedtomethatjustlyingaroundinasense-deprivationtankhadnophysiologicaldanger,SOIwasveryanxioustotryit.IquicklyacceptedtheLillys'invitationtousethetanks,averykindinvitationontheirpart,andtheycametolistentothelecturewiththeirgroup.

SothefollowingweekIwenttotrythetanks.Mr.Lillyintroducedmetothetanksashemusthavedonewithotherpeople.Therewerelotsofbulbs,likeneonlights,withdifferentgasesinthem.HeshowedmethePeriodicTableandmadeupalotofmystichokey-pokeaboutdifferentkindsoflightsthathavedifferentkindsofinfluences.Hetoldmehowyougetreadytogointothetankbylookingatyourselfinthemirrorwithyournoseupagainstit--allkindsofwicky-wackthings,allkindsofgorp.Ididn'tpayanyattentiontothegorp,butIdideverythingbecauseIwantedtogetintothetanks,andIalsothoughtthatperhapssuchpreparationsmightmakeiteasiertohavehallucinations.SoIwentthrougheverythingaccordingtothewayhesaid.TheonlythingthatproveddifficultwaschoosingwhatcolorlightIwanted,especiallyasthetankwassupposedtobedarkinside.Asense-deprivationtankislikeabigbathtub,butwithacoverthatcomesdown.It'scompletelydarkinside,andbecausethecoveristhick,there'snosound.There'salittlepumpthatpumpsairin,butitturnsoutyoudon'tneedtoworryaboutairbecausethevolumeofairisratherlarge,andyou'reonlyintherefortwoorthreehours,andyoudon'treallyconsumealotofairwhenyoubreathenormally.Mr.Lillysaidthatthepumpsweretheretoputpeopleatease,soIfiguredit'sjustpsychological,andaskedhimtoturnthepumpoff,becauseitmadealittlebitofnoise.ThewaterinthetankhasEpsomsaltsinittomakeitdenserthannormalwater,soyoufloatinitrathereasily.Thetemperatureiskeptatbodytemperature,or94,orsomething--hehaditallfiguredout.Therewasn'tsupposedtobeanylight,anysound,anytemperaturesensation,nonothing!Onceinawhileyoumightdriftovertothesideandbumpslightly,orbecauseofcondensationontheceilingofthetankadropofwatermightfall,buttheseslightdisturbanceswereveryrare.Imusthavegoneaboutadozentimes,eachtimespendingabouttwoandahalfhoursinthetank.ThefirsttimeIdidn'tgetanyhallucinations,butafterIhadbeeninthetank,theLillysintroducedmetoamanbilledasamedicaldoctor,whotoldmeaboutadrugcalledketamine,whichwasusedasananesthetic.I'vealwaysbeeninterestedinquestionsrelatedtowhathappenswhenyougotosleep,orwhathappenswhenyougetconkedout,sotheyshowedmethepapersthatcamewiththemedicineandgavemeonetenthofthenormaldose.IgotthisstrangekindoffeelingwhichI'veneverbeenabletofigureoutwheneverItriedtocharacterizewhattheeffectwas.Forinstance,thedrughadquiteaneffectonmyvision;IfeltIcouldn'tseeclearly.ButwhenI'dlookhardatsomething,itwouldbeOK.Itwassortofasifyoudidn'tcaretolookatthings;you'resloppilydoingthisandthat,feelingkindofwoozy,butassoonasyoulook,andconcentrate,everythingis,foramomentatleast,allright.Itookabooktheyhadonorganicchemistryandlookedatatablefullofcomplicatedsubstances,andtomysurprisewas

abletoreadthem.Ididallkindsofotherthings,likemovingmyhandstowardeachotherfromadistancetoseeifmyfingerswouldtoucheachother,andalthoughIhadafeelingofcompletedisorientation,afeelingofaninabilitytodopracticallyanything,IneverfoundaspecificthingthatIcouldn'tdo.AsIsaidbefore,thefirsttimeinthetankIdidn'tgetanyhallucinations,andthesecondtimeIdidn'tgetanyhallucinations.ButtheLillyswereveryinterestingpeople;Ienjoyedthemvery,verymuch.Theyoftengavemelunch,andsoon,andafterawhilewediscussedthingsonadifferentlevelthantheearlystuffwiththelights.Irealizedthatotherpeoplehadfoundthesense-deprivationtanksomewhatfrightening,buttomeitwasaprettyinterestinginvention.Iwasn'tafraidbecauseIknewwhatitwas:itwasjustatankofEpsomsalts.Thethirdtimetherewasamanvisiting--Imetmanyinterestingpeoplethere--whowentbythenameBabaRamDas.HewasafellafromHarvardwhohadgonetoIndiaandhadwrittenapopularbookcalledBeHereNow.HerelatedhowhisguruinIndiatoldhimhowtohavean"out-of-bodyexperience"(wordsIhadoftenseenwrittenonthebulletinboard):Concentrateonyourbreath,onhowitgoesinandoutofyournoseasyoubreathe.IfiguredI'dtryanythingtogetahallucination,andwentintothetank.AtsomestageofthegameIsuddenlyrealizedthat--it'shardtoexplain--I'maninchtooneside.Inotherwords,wheremybreathisgoing,inandout,inandout,isnotcentered:Myegoisofftoonesidealittlebit,byaboutaninch.Ithought:"Nowwhereistheegolocated?Iknoweverybodythinkstheseatofthinkingisinthebrain,buthowdotheyknowthat?"Iknewalreadyfromreadingthingsthatitwasn'tsoobvioustopeoplebeforealotofpsychologicalstudiesweremade.TheGreeksthoughttheseatofthinkingwasintheliver,forinstance.Iwondered,"Isitpossiblethatwheretheegoislocatedislearnedbychildrenlookingatpeopleputtingtheir

handtotheirheadwhentheysay,'Letmethink'?Thereforetheideathattheegoislocatedupthere,behindtheeyes,mightbeconventional!"IfiguredthatifIcouldmovemyegoaninchtooneside,Icouldmoveitfurther.Thiswasthebeginningofmyhallucinations.ItriedandafterawhileIgotmyegotogodownthroughmyneckintothemiddleofmychest.Whenadropofwatercamedownandhitmeontheshoulder,Ifeltit"upthere,"abovewhere"I"was.EverytimeadropcameIwasstartledalittlebit,andmyegowouldjumpbackupthroughthe

necktotheusualplace.ThenIwouldhavetoworkmywaydownagain.Atfirstittookalotofworktogodowneachtime,butgraduallyitgoteasier.Iwasabletogetmyselfallthewaydowntotheloins,tooneside,butthatwasaboutasfarasIcouldgoforquiteawhile.ItwasanothertimeIwasinthetankwhenIdecidedthatifIcouldmovemyselftomyloins,Ishouldheabletogetcompletelyoutsideofmybody.SoIwasableto"sittooneside."It'shardtoexplain--I'dmovemyhandsandshakethewater,andalthoughIcouldn'tseethem,Iknewwheretheywere.Butunlikeinreallife,wherethehandsaretoeachside,partwaydown,theywerebothtooneside!Thefeelinginmyfingersandeverythingelsewasexactlythesameasnormal,onlymyegowassittingoutside,"observing"allthis.FromthenonIhadhallucinationsalmosteverytime,andwasabletomovefurtherandfurtheroutsideofmybody.ItdevelopedthatwhenIwouldmovemyhandsIwouldseethemassortofmechanicalthingsthatweregoingupanddown--theyweren'tflesh;theyweremechanical.ButIwasstillabletofeeleverything.Thefeelingswouldbeexactlyconsistentwiththemotion,butIalsohadthisfeelingof"heisthat.""I"evengotoutoftheroom,ultimately,andwanderedabout,goingsomedistancetolocationswherethingshappenedthatIhadseenearlieranotherday.Ihadmanytypesofout-of-the-bodyexperiences.Onetime,forexample,Icould"see"thebackofmyhead,withmyhandsrestingagainstit.WhenImovedmyfingers,Isawthemmove,butbetweenthefingersandthethumbIsawthebluesky.Ofcoursethatwasn'tright;itwasahallucination.ButthepointisthatasImovedmyfingers,theirmovementwasexactlyconsistentwiththemotionthatIwasimaginingthatIwasseeing.Theentireimagerywouldappear,andbeconsistentwithwhatyoufeelandaredoing,muchlikewhenyouslowlywakeupinthemorningandaretouchingsomething(andyoudon'tknowwhatitis),andsuddenlyitbecomesclearwhatitis.Sotheentireimagerywouldsuddenlyappear,exceptit'sunusual,inthesensethatyouusuallywouldimaginetheegotobelocatedinfrontofthebackofthehead,butinsteadyouhaveitbehindthebackofthehead.Oneofthethingsthatperpetuallybotheredme,psychologically,whileIwashavingahallucination,wasthatImighthavefallenasleepandwouldthereforebeonlydreaming.Ihadalreadyhadsomeexperiencewithdreams,andIwantedanewexperience.Itwaskindofdopey,becausewhenyou'rehavinghallucinations,andthingslikethat,you'renotverysharp,soyoudothesedumbthingsthatyousetyourmindtodo,suchascheckingthatyou'renotdreaming.SoIperpetuallywascheckingthatIwasn'tdreamingby--sincemyhandswereoftenbehindmyhead--rubbingmythumbstogether,backandforth,feelingthem.OfcourseIcouldhavebeendreamingthat,butIwasn't:Iknewitwasreal.

Aftertheverybeginning,whentheexcitementofhavingahallucinationmadethem"jumpout,"orstophappening,Iwasabletorelaxandhavelonghallucinations.Aweekortwoafter,Iwasthinkingagreatdealabouthowthebrainworkscomparedtohowacomputingmachineworks--especiallyhowinformationisstored.Oneoftheinterestingproblemsinthisareaishowmemoriesarestoredinthebrain:Youcangetatthemfromsomanydirectionscomparedtoamachine--youdon'thavetocomedirectlywiththecorrectaddresstothememory.IfIwanttogetattheword"rent,"forexample,Icanbefillinginacrosswordpuzzle,lookingforafour-letterwordthatbeginswithrandendsint;Icanbethinkingoftypesofincome,oractivitiessuchasborrowingandlending;thisinturncanleadtoallsortsofotherrelatedmemoriesorinformation.Iwasthinkingabouthowtomakean"imitatingmachine,"whichwouldlearnlanguageasachilddoes:youwouldtalktothemachine.ButIcouldn'tfigureouthowtostorethestuffinanorganizedwaysothemachinecouldgetitoutforitsownpurposes.WhenIwentintothetankthatweek,andhadmyhallucination,Itriedtothinkofveryearlymemories.Ikeptsayingtomyself,"It'sgottabeearlier;it'sgottabeearlier"--Iwasneversatisfiedthatthememorieswereearlyenough.WhenIgotaveryearlymemory--let'ssayfrommyhometownofFarRockaway--thenimmediatelywouldcomeawholesequenceofmemories,allfromthetownofFarRockaway.IfIthenwouldthinkofsomethingfromanothercity--Cedarhurst,orsomething--thenawholelotofstuffthatwasassociatedwithCedarhurstwouldcome.AndsoIrealizedthatthingsarestoredaccordingtothelocationwhereyouhadtheexperience.Ifeltprettygoodaboutthisdiscovery,andcameoutofthetank,hadashower,gotdressed,andsoforth,andstarteddrivingtoHughesAircrafttogivemyweeklylecture.Itwasthereforeaboutforty-fiveminutesafterIcameoutofthetankthatIsuddenlyrealizedforthefirsttimethatIhadn'ttheslightestideaofhowmemoriesarestoredinthebrain;allIhadwasahallucinationastohowmemoriesarestoredinthebrain!WhatIhad"discovered"hadnothingtodowiththewaymemoriesarestoredinthebrain;ithadtodowiththewayIwasplayinggameswithmyself.Inournumerousdiscussionsabouthallucinationsonmyearliervisits,IhadbeentryingtoexplaintoLillyandothersthattheimaginationthatthingsarerealdoesnotrepresenttruereality.Ifyouseegoldenglobes,orsomething,severaltimes,andtheytalktoyouduringyourhallucinationandtellyoutheyareanotherintelligence,itdoesn'tmeanthey'reanotherintelligence;itjustmeansthatyouhavehadthisparticularhallucination.SohereIhadthistremendousfeelingofdiscoveringhowmemoriesarestored,andit'ssurprisingthatittookforty-fiveminutesbeforeIrealizedthe

errorthatIhadbeentryingtoexplaintoeveryoneelse.OneofthequestionsIthoughtaboutwaswhetherhallucinations,likedreams,areinfluencedbywhatyoualreadyhaveinyourmind--fromotherexperiencesduringthedayorbefore,orfromthingsyouareexpectingtosee.Thereason,Ibelieve,thatIhadanout-of-bodyexperiencewasthatwewerediscussingout-of-bodyexperiencesjustbeforeIwentintothetank.AndthereasonIhadahallucinationabouthowmemoriesarestoredinthebrainwas,Ithink,thatIhadbeenthinkingaboutthatproblemallweek.Ihadconsiderablediscussionwiththevariouspeoplethereabouttherealityofexperiences.Theyarguedthatsomethingisconsideredreal,inexperimentalscience,iftheexperiencecanbereproduced.Thuswhenmanypeopleseegoldenglobesthattalktothem,timeaftertime,theglobesmustbereal.Myclaimwasthatinsuchsituationstherewasabitofdiscussionprevioustogoingintothetankaboutthegoldenglobes,sowhenthepersonhallucinating,withhismindalreadythinkingaboutgoldenglobeswhenhewentintothetank,seessomeapproximationoftheglobes--maybethey'reblue,orsomething--hethinkshe'sreproducingtheexperience.IfeltthatIcouldunderstandthedifferencebetweenthetypeofagreementamongpeoplewhosemindsaresettoagree,andthekindofagreementthatyougetinexperimentalwork.It'sratheramusingthatit'ssoeasytotellthedifference-butsohardtodefineit!Ibelievethere'snothinginhallucinationsthathasanythingtodowithanythingexternaltotheinternalpsychologicalstateofthepersonwho'sgotthehallucination.Butthereareneverthelessalotofexperiencesbyalotofpeoplewhobelievethere'srealityinhallucinations.Thesamegeneral

ideamayaccountforacertainamountofsuccessthatinterpretersofdreamshave.Forexample,somepsychoanalystsinterpretdreamsbytalkingaboutthemeaningsofvarioussymbols.Andthen,it'snotcompletelyimpossiblethatthesesymbolsdoappearindreamsthatfollow.SoIthinkthat,perhaps,theinterpretationofhallucinationsanddreamsisaself-propagatingprocess:you'llhaveageneral,moreorless,successatit,especiallyifyoudiscussitcarefullyaheadoftime.Ordinarilyitwouldtakemeaboutfifteenminutestogetahallucinationgoing,butonafewoccasions,whenIsmokedsomemarijuanabeforehand,itcameveryquickly.Butfifteenminuteswasfastenoughforme.Onethingthatoftenhappenedwasthatasthehallucinationwascomingon,whatyoumightdescribeas"garbage"wouldcome:therewere

simplychaoticimages--complete,randomjunk.Itriedtoremembersomeoftheitemsofthejunkinordertobeabletocharacterizeitagain,butitwasparticularlydifficulttoremember.IthinkIwasgettingclosetothekindofthingthathappenswhenyoubegintofallasleep:Thereareapparentlogicalconnections,butwhenyoutrytorememberwhatmadeyouthinkofwhatyou'rethinkingabout,youcan'tremember.Asamatteroffact,yousoonforgetwhatitisthatyou'retryingtoremember.Icanonlyrememberthingslikeawhitesignwithapimpleonit,inChicago,andthenitdisappears.Thatkindofstuffallthetime.Mr.Lillyhadanumberofdifferenttanks,andwetriedanumberofdifferentexperiments.Itdidn'tseemtomakemuchdifferenceasfarashallucinationswereconcerned,andIbecameconvincedthatthetankwasunnecessary.NowthatIsawwhattodo,Irealizedthatallyouhavetodoissitquietly--whywasitnecessarythatyouhadtohaveeverythingabsolutelysuperduper?SowhenI'dcomehomeI'dturnoutthelightsandsitinthelivingroominacomfortablechair,andtryandtry--itneverworked.I'veneverbeenabletohaveahallucinationoutsideofthetanks.OfcourseIwouldliketohavedoneitathome,andIdon'tdoubtthatyoucouldmeditateanddoitifyoupractice,butIdidn'tpractice.

CargoCultScience[AdaptedfromtheCaltechcommencementaddressgivenin1974.]DuringtheMiddleAgestherewereallkindsofcrazyideas,suchasthatapieceofrhinoceroshornwouldincreasepotency.Thenamethodwasdiscoveredforseparatingtheideas--whichwastotryonetoseeifitworked,andifitdidn'twork,toeliminateit.Thismethodbecameorganized,ofcourse,intoscience.Anditdevelopedverywell,sothatwearenowinthescientificage.Itissuchascientificage,infact,thatwehavedifficultyinunderstandinghowwitchdoctorscouldeverhaveexisted,whennothingthattheyproposedeverreallyworked--orverylittleofitdid.ButeventodayImeetlotsofpeoplewhosoonerorlatergetmeintoaconversationaboutUFOs,orastrology,orsomeformofmysticism,expandedconsciousness,newtypesofawareness,ESP,andsoforth.AndI'veconcludedthatit'snotascientificworld.MostpeoplebelievesomanywonderfulthingsthatIdecidedtoinvestigatewhytheydid.AndwhathasbeenreferredtoasmycuriosityforinvestigationhaslandedmeinadifficultywhereIfoundsomuchjunkthatI'moverwhelmed.FirstIstartedoutbyinvestigatingvariousideasof

mysticism,andmysticexperiences.Iwentintoisolationtanksandgotmanyhoursofhallucinations,soIknowsomethingaboutthat.ThenIwenttoEsalen,whichisahotbedofthiskindofthought(it'sawonderfulplace;youshouldgovisitthere).ThenIbecameoverwhelmed.Ididn'trealizehowmuchtherewas.AtEsalentherearesomelargebathsfedbyhotspringssituatedonaledgeaboutthirtyfeetabovetheocean.Oneofmymostpleasurableexperienceshasbeentositinoneofthosebathsandwatchthewavescrashingontotherockyshorebelow,togazeintotheclearblueskyabove,andtostudyabeautifulnudeasshequietlyappearsandsettlesintothebathwithme.OnetimeIsatdowninabathwheretherewasabeautifulgirlsittingwithaguywhodidn'tseemtoknowher.RightawayIbeganthinking,"Gee!HowamIgonnagetstartedtalkingtothisbeautifulnudebabe?"I'mtryingtofigureoutwhattosay,whentheguysaystoher,"I'm,uh,studyingmassage.CouldIpracticeonyou?""Sure,"shesays.Theygetoutofthebathandsheliesdownonamassagetablenearby.Ithinktomyself,"Whataniftyline!Icanneverthinkofanythinglikethat!"Hestartstorubherbigtoe."IthinkIfeelit,"hesays."Ifeelakindofdent--isthatthepituitary?"Iblurtout,"You'reahelluvalongwayfromthepituitary,man!Theylookedatme,horrified--Ihadblownmycover--andsaid,"It'sreflexology!"Iquicklyclosedmyeyesandappearedtobemeditating.That'sjustanexampleofthekindofthingsthatoverwhelmme.IalsolookedintoextrasensoryperceptionandPSIphenomena,andthelatestcrazetherewasUriGeller,amanwhoissupposedtobeabletobendkeysbyrubbingthemwithhisfinger.SoIwenttohishotelroom,onhisinvitation,toseeademonstrationofbothmindreadingandbendingkeys.Hedidn'tdoanymindreadingthatsucceeded;nobodycanreadmymind,Iguess.AndmyboyheldakeyandGellerrubbedit,andnothinghappened.Thenhetoldusitworksbetterunderwater,andsoyoucanpictureallofusstandinginthebathroomwiththewaterturnedonandthekeyunderit,andhimrubbingthekeywithhisfinger.Nothinghappened.SoIwasunabletoinvestigatethatphenomenon.ButthenIbegantothink,whatelseistherethatwebelieve?(AndIthoughtthenaboutthewitchdoctors,andhoweasyitwouldhavebeento

checkonthembynoticingthatnothingreallyworked.)SoIfoundthingsthatevenmorepeoplebelieve,suchasthatwehavesomeknowledgeofhowtoeducate.Therearebigschoolsofreadingmethodsandmathematicsmethods,andsoforth,butifyounotice,you'llseethereadingscoreskeepgoingdown--orhardlygoingup--inspiteofthefactthatwecontinuallyusethesesamepeopletoimprovethemethods.There'sawitchdoctorremedythatdoesn'twork.Itoughttobelookedinto;howdotheyknowthattheirmethodshouldwork?Anotherexampleishowtotreatcriminals.Weobviouslyhavemadenoprogress--lotsoftheory,butnoprogress--indecreasingtheamountofcrimebythemethodthatweusetohandlecriminals.Yetthesethingsaresaidtobescientific.Westudythem.AndIthinkordinarypeoplewithcommonsenseideasareintimidatedbythispseudoscience.Ateacherwhohassomegoodideaofhowtoteachherchildrentoreadisforcedbytheschoolsystemtodoitsomeotherway--orisevenfooledbytheschoolsystemintothinkingthathermethodisnotnecessarilyagoodone.Oraparentofbadboys,afterdiscipliningtheminonewayoranother,feelsguiltyfortherestofherlifebecauseshedidn'tdo"therightthing,"accordingtotheexperts.Sowereallyoughttolookintotheoriesthatdon'twork,andsciencethatisn'tscience.IthinktheeducationalandpsychologicalstudiesImentionedareexamplesofwhatIwouldliketocallcargocultscience.IntheSouthSeasthereisacargocultofpeople.Duringthewartheysawairplaneslandwithlotsofgoodmaterials,andtheywantthesamethingtohappennow.Sothey'vearrangedtomakethingslikerunways,toputfiresalongthesidesoftherunways,tomakeawoodenhutforamantositin,withtwowoodenpiecesonhisheadlikeheadphonesandbarsofbamboostickingoutlikeantennas--he'sthecontroller--andtheywaitfortheairplanestoland.They'redoingeverythingright.Theformisperfect.Itlooksexactlythewayitlookedbefore.Butitdoesn'twork.Noairplanesland.SoIcallthesethingscargocultscience,becausetheyfollowalltheapparentpreceptsandformsofscientificinvestigation,butthey'remissingsomethingessential,becausetheplanesdon'tland.Nowitbehoovesme,ofcourse,totellyouwhatthey'remissing.ButitwouldbejustaboutasdifficulttoexplaintotheSouthSeaIslandershowtheyhavetoarrangethingssothattheygetsomewealthintheirsystem.Itisnotsomethingsimpleliketellingthemhowtoimprovetheshapesoftheearphones.ButthereisonefeatureInoticethatisgenerallymissingincargocultscience.Thatistheideathatweallhopeyouhavelearnedinstudyingscienceinschool--weneverexplicitlysaywhatthisis,butjusthopethatyoucatchonbyalltheexamplesofscientificinvestigation.Itis

interesting,therefore,tobringitoutnowandspeakofitexplicitly.It'sakindofscientificintegrity,aprincipleofscientificthoughtthatcorrespondstoakindofutterhonesty--akindofleaningoverbackwards.Forexample,ifyou'redoinganexperiment,youshouldreporteverythingthatyouthinkmightmakeitinvalid--notonlywhatyouthinkisrightaboutit:othercausesthatcouldpossiblyexplainyourresults;andthingsyouthoughtofthatyou'veeliminatedbysomeotherexperiment,andhowtheyworked--tomakesuretheotherfellowcantelltheyhavebeeneliminated,

Detailsthatcouldthrowdoubtonyourinterpretationmustbegiven,ifyouknowthem.Youmustdothebestyoucan--ifyouknowanythingatallwrong,orpossiblywrong--toexplainit.Ifyoumakeatheory,forexample,andadvertiseit,orputitout,thenyoumustalsoputdownallthefactsthatdisagreewithit,aswellasthosethatagreewithit.Thereisalsoamoresubtleproblem.Whenyouhaveputalotofideastogethertomakeanelaboratetheory,youwanttomakesure,whenexplainingwhatitfits,thatthosethingsitfitsarenotjustthethingsthatgaveyoutheideaforthetheory;butthatthefinishedtheorymakessomethingelsecomeoutright,inaddition.Insummary,theideaistotrytogivealloftheinformationtohelpotherstojudgethevalueofyourcontribution;notjusttheinformationthatleadstojudgmentinoneparticulardirectionoranother.Theeasiestwaytoexplainthisideaistocontrastit,forexample,withadvertising.LastnightIheardthatWessonoildoesn'tsoakthroughfood.Well,that'strue.It'snotdishonest;butthethingI'mtalkingaboutisnotjustamatterofnotbeingdishonest,it'samatterofscientificintegrity,whichisanotherlevel.Thefactthatshouldbeaddedtothatadvertisingstatementisthatnooilssoakthroughfood,ifoperatedatacertaintemperature.Ifoperatedatanothertemperature,theyallwill--includingWessonoil.Soit'stheimplicationwhichhasbeenconveyed,notthefact,whichistrue,andthedifferenceiswhatwehavetodealwith.We'velearnedfromexperiencethatthetruthwillcomeout.Otherexperimenterswillrepeatyourexperimentandfindoutwhetheryouwerewrongorright.Nature'sphenomenawillagreeorthey'lldisagreewithyourtheory.And,althoughyoumaygainsometemporaryfameandexcitement,youwillnotgainagoodreputationasascientistifyouhaven'ttriedtobeverycarefulinthiskindofwork.Andit'sthistypeofintegrity,thiskindofcarenottofoolyourself,thatismissingtoalargeextentinmuchoftheresearchincargocultscience.Agreatdealoftheirdifficultyis,ofcourse,thedifficultyofthesubjectandtheinapplicabilityofthescientificmethodtothesubject.

Nevertheless,itshouldberemarkedthatthisisnottheonlydifficulty.That'swhytheplanesdon'tland--buttheydon'tland.Wehavelearnedalotfromexperienceabouthowtohandlesomeofthewayswefoolourselves.Oneexample:Millikanmeasuredthechargeonanelectronbyanexperimentwithfallingoildrops,andgotananswerwhichwenowknownottobequiteright.It'salittlebitoff,becausehehadtheincorrectvaluefortheviscosityofair.It'sinterestingtolookatthehistoryofmeasurementsofthechargeoftheelectron,afterMillikan.Ifyouplotthemasafunctionoftime,youfindthatoneisalittlebiggerthanMillikan's,andthenextone'salittlebitbiggerthanthat,andthenextone'salittlebitbiggerthanthat,untilfinallytheysettledowntoanumberwhichishigher.Whydidn'ttheydiscoverthatthenewnumberwashigherrightaway?It'sathingthatscientistsareashamedof--thishistory--becauseit'sapparentthatpeopledidthingslikethis:WhentheygotanumberthatwastoohighaboveMillikan's,theythoughtsomethingmustbewrong--andtheywouldlookforandfindareasonwhysomethingmightbewrong.WhentheygotanumberclosertoMillikan'svaluetheydidn'tlooksohard.Andsotheyeliminatedthenumbersthatweretoofaroff,anddidotherthingslikethat.We'velearnedthosetricksnowadays,andnowwedon'thavethatkindofadisease.Butthislonghistoryoflearninghowtonotfoolourselves--ofhavingutterscientificintegrity--is,I'msorrytosay,somethingthatwehaven'tspecificallyincludedinanyparticularcoursethatIknowof.Wejusthopeyou'vecaughtonbyosmosis.Thefirstprincipleisthatyoumustnotfoolyourself--andyouaretheeasiestpersontofool.Soyouhavetobeverycarefulaboutthat.Afteryou'venotfooledyourself,it'seasynottofoolotherscientists.Youjusthavetobehonestinaconventionalwayafterthat.Iwouldliketoaddsomethingthat'snotessentialtothescience,hutsomethingIkindofbelieve,whichisthatyoushouldnotfoolthelaymanwhenyou'retalkingasascientist.Iamnottryingtotellyouwhattodoaboutcheatingonyourwife,orfoolingyourgirlfriend,orsomethinglikethat,whenyou'renottryingtobeascientist,butjusttryingtobeanordinaryhumanbeing.We'llleavethoseproblemsuptoyouandyourrabbi.I'mtalkingaboutaspecific,extratypeofintegritythatisnotlying,butbendingoverbackwardstoshowhowyou'remaybewrong,thatyououghttohavewhenactingasascientist.Andthisisourresponsibilityasscientists,certainlytootherscientists,andIthinktolaymen.Forexample,IwasalittlesurprisedwhenIwastalkingtoafriendwhowasgoingtogoontheradio.Hedoesworkoncosmologyandastronomy,andhewonderedhowhewouldexplainwhattheapplicationsofthisworkwere."Well,"Isaid,"therearen'tany."Hesaid,"Yes,hutthen

wewon'tgetsupportformoreresearchofthiskind."Ithinkthat'skindofdishonest.Ifyou'rerepresentingyourselfasascientist,thenyoushouldexplaintothelaymanwhatyou'redoing--andiftheydon'twanttosupportyouunderthosecircumstances,thenthat'stheirdecision.Oneexampleoftheprincipleisthis:Ifyou'vemadeupyourmindtotestatheory,oryouwanttoexplainsomeidea,youshouldalwaysdecidetopublishitwhicheverwayitcomesout.Ifweonlypublishresultsofacertainkind,wecanmaketheargumentlookgood.Wemustpublishbothkindsofresults.Isaythat'salsoimportantingivingcertaintypesofgovernmentadvice.Supposingasenatoraskedyouforadviceaboutwhetherdrillingaholeshouldbedoneinhisstate;andyoudecideitwouldbebetterinsomeotherstate.Ifyoudon'tpublishsucharesult,itseemstomeyou'renotgivingscientificadvice.You'rebeingused.Ifyouranswerhappenstocomeoutinthedirectionthegovernmentorthepoliticianslike,theycanuseitasanargumentintheirfavor;ifitcomesouttheotherway,theydon'tpublishitatall.That'snotgivingscientificadvice.Otherkindsoferrorsaremorecharacteristicofpoorscience.WhenIwasatCornell,Ioftentalkedtothepeopleinthepsychologydepartment.Oneofthestudentstoldmeshewantedtodoanexperimentthatwentsomethinglikethis--ithadbeenfoundbyothersthatundercertaincircumstances,X,ratsdidsomething,A.Shewascuriousastowhether,ifshechangedthecircumstancestoY,theywouldstilldoA.SoherproposalwastodotheexperimentundercircumstancesYandseeiftheystilldidA.Iexplainedtoherthatitwasnecessaryfirsttorepeatinherlaboratorytheexperimentoftheotherperson--todoitunderconditionXtoseeifshecouldalsogetresultA,andthenchangetoYandseeifAchanged.Thenshewouldknowthattherealdifferencewasthethingshethoughtshehadundercontrol.Shewasverydelightedwiththisnewidea,andwenttoherprofessor.Andhisreplywas,no,youcannotdothat,becausetheexperimenthasalreadybeendoneandyouwouldbewastingtime.Thiswasinabout1947orso,anditseemstohavebeenthegeneralpolicythentonottrytorepeatpsychologicalexperiments,butonlytochangetheconditionsandseewhathappens.Nowadaysthere'sacertaindangerofthesamethinghappening,eveninthefamousfieldofphysics.IwasshockedtohearofanexperimentdoneatthebigacceleratorattheNationalAcceleratorLaboratory,whereapersonuseddeuterium.Inordertocomparehisheavyhydrogenresultstowhat

mighthappenwithlighthydrogen,hehadtousedatafromsomeoneelse'sexperimentonlight,hydrogen,whichwasdoneondifferentapparatus.Whenaskedwhy,hesaiditwasbecausehecouldn'tgettimeontheprogram(becausethere'ssolittletimeandit'ssuchexpensiveapparatus)todotheexperimentwithlighthydrogenonthisapparatusbecausetherewouldn'tbeanynewresult.AndsothemeninchargeofprogramsatNALaresoanxiousfornewresults,inordertogetmoremoneytokeepthethinggoingforpublicrelationspurposes,theyaredestroying--possibly--thevalueoftheexperimentsthemselves,whichisthewholepurposeofthething.Itisoftenhardfortheexperimenterstheretocompletetheirworkastheirscientificintegritydemands.Allexperimentsinpsychologyarenotofthistype,however.Forexample,therehavebeenmanyexperimentsrunningratsthroughallkindsofmazes,andsoon--withlittleclearresult.Butin1937amannamedYoungdidaveryinterestingone.Hehadalongcorridorwithdoorsallalongonesidewheretheratscamein,anddoorsalongtheothersidewherethefoodwas.Hewantedtoseeifhecouldtraintheratstogoinatthethirddoordownfromwhereverhestartedthemoff.No.Theratswentimmediatelytothedoorwherethefoodhadbeenthetimebefore.Thequestionwas,howdidtheratsknow,becausethecorridorwassobeautifullybuiltandsouniform,thatthiswasthesamedoorasbefore?Obviouslytherewassomethingaboutthedoorthatwasdifferentfromtheotherdoors.Sohepaintedthedoorsverycarefully,arrangingthetexturesonthefacesofthedoorsexactlythesame.Stilltheratscouldtell.Thenhethoughtmaybetheratsweresmellingthefood,soheusedchemicalstochangethesmellaftereachrun.Stilltheratscouldtell.Thenherealizedtheratsmightbeabletotellbyseeingthelightsandthearrangementinthelaboratorylikeanycommonsenseperson.Sohecoveredthecorridor,andstilltheratscouldtell.Hefinallyfoundthattheycouldtellbythewaythefloorsoundedwhentheyranoverit.Andhecouldonlyfixthatbyputtinghiscorridorinsand.Sohecoveredoneafteranotherofallpossiblecluesandfinallywasabletofooltheratssothattheyhadtolearntogointhethirddoor.Ifherelaxedanyofhisconditions,theratscouldtell.Now,fromascientificstandpoint,thatisanA-numberoneexperiment.Thatistheexperimentthatmakesratrunningexperimentssensible,becauseituncoversthecluesthattheratisreallyusing--notwhatyouthinkit'susing.Andthatistheexperimentthattellsexactlywhatconditionsyouhavetouseinordertobecarefulandcontroleverythinginanexperimentwithrat-running.Ilookedintothesubsequenthistoryofthisresearch.Thenextexperiment,andtheoneafterthat,neverreferredtoMr.Young.Theyneverused

anyofhiscriteriaofputtingthecorridoronsand,orbeingverycareful.Theyjustwentrightonrunningratsinthesameoldway,andpaidnoattentiontothegreatdiscoveriesofMr.Young,andhispapersarenotreferredto,becausehedidn'tdiscoveranythingabouttherats.Infact,hediscoveredallthethingsyouhavetodotodiscoversomethingaboutrats.Butnotpayingattentiontoexperimentslikethatisacharacteristicofcargocultscience.AnotherexampleistheESPexperimentsofMr.Rhine,andotherpeople.Asvariouspeoplehavemadecriticisms--andtheythemselveshavemadecriticismsoftheirownexperiments--theyimprovethetechniquessothattheeffectsaresmaller,andsmaller,andsmalleruntiltheygraduallydisappear.Alltheparapsychologistsarelookingforsomeexperimentthatcanberepeated--thatyoucandoagainandgetthesameeffect--statistically,even.Theyrunamillionrats--no,it'speoplethistime--theydoalotofthingsandgetacertainstatisticaleffect.Nexttimetheytryittheydon'tgetitanymore.Andnowyoufindamansayingthatitisanirrelevantdemandtoexpectarepeatableexperiment.Thisisscience?Thismanalsospeaksaboutanewinstitution,inatalkinwhichhewasresigningasDirectoroftheInstituteofParapsychology.And,intellingpeoplewhattodonext,hesaysthatoneofthethingstheyhavetodoisbesuretheyonlytrainstudentswhohaveshowntheirabilitytogetPSIresultstoanacceptableextent--nottowastetheirtimeonthoseambitiousandinterestedstudentswhogetonlychanceresults.Itisverydangeroustohavesuchapolicyinteaching--toteachstudentsonlyhowtogetcertainresults,ratherthanhowtodoanexperimentwithscientificintegrity.SoIhavejustonewishforyou--thegoodlucktobesomewherewhereyouarefreetomaintainthekindofintegrityIhavedescribed,andwhereyoudonotfeelheedbyaneedtomaintainyourpositionIntheorganization,orfinancialsupport,orsoon,toloseyourintegrity.Mayyouhavethatfreedom.