NO-ONE EVER SPOKE OF IT

FOUR PERFORMERS IS SUGGESTED BUT IT CAN BE MORE THAN THIS. THE FINAL SEQUENCE HAS UP TO TEN VOICES, BUT ONE PERFORMER CAN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR TWO OR THREE OF THESE.

ALL PERFORMERS ARE ON STAGE AT ALL TIMES. ALL ENTER AND FACE THE AUDIENCE AND THE FIRST THREE POEMS ARE SPOKEN. THE PERFORMERS THEN MOVE OFF, BUT REMAIN SITTING OR STANDING IN THE DARK WHEN NOT SPEAKING. THEIR ATTITUDES AND THE WAY THEY JOIN UP WITH OTHER PERFORMERS IN GROUPS OR PAIRS IS SIGNIFICANT.

SONGS CAN ALSO BE HUMMED OR RE-INTRODUCED AT OTHER APPROPRIATE TIMES.

ALL OBJECTS ARE ON STAGE AT ALL TIMES. THEY ARE ALWAYS CAREFULLY MANIPULATED AND ARRANGED BY THE PERFORMERS, WHO DRAW OUR ATTENTION TO THEM BY CAREFULLY VIEWING THEIR EFFORTS/ARRANGEMENTS BEFORE USING OR DISMANTLING/DISASSEMBLING THEM.

My lover capable of terrible liesat night lay close to mein a dream that lied like truthi -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------One tries to get deep - to speak to the secret self we all have.ii

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Did I find anything in the dark?On the other side of the small door that hates yellow dresses.I met an invisible King talking slaty secrets.I looked through red telescopesand fishy mirrors and windows filmy with children's kitesiii

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------TWO VOICES BACK TO BACK

1. Listen, I want to tell you something.2. Don't tell me.1. I need to tell someone.2. Not me. I don't want to hear it.1. Please.2. Shut your face.1. Please.2. And keep it shut.

SMUGGLING SEQUENCE - PART ONE AT STAGE CENTRE BY TABLE BEARING CONDOMS, POWDER, ETC. TWO VOICES SPEAKING OF ONE VISIBLE OTHER

1. What do you think?2. Hard to tell.1. You've told her/him?2. S/He knows.1. About the need for...?2. S/He's not stupid - frightened....but not stupid.

SEVERAL VOICES COMING OUT OF THE DARK

Shush - shush - shush - shush - shush.

i KACCEPETTU NANNAKAIYAR, 2nd Century AD Tamil love poemii JANE MANSFIELDiii PENELOPE SHUTTLE

OTHER SONGS THAT CAN ALSO BE USED IN THE PERFORMANCE: SECRET LOVE - DORIS DAY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET - GERRY & PACEMAKERS DO NOTHING 'TILL YOU HEAR FROM ME – BILLIE HOLLIDAY

ONE VOICE

Who said that?

ONE VOICE

Listen, do you want to know a secret?Do you promise not to tell?Closer, come closer and tell me your secrets.

UFO - FOR FOUR VOICES1. Farmer2. Lively young person3. A self-styled mystic4. Reporter

4. We have reports of sightings from all over the West Country. 95% of theseincidents were recorded as taking place at night:

2. On my way back from the pub.3. I had gone upstairs, I was lying on my counterpane - I was meditating.1. It was last thing and I was out checking the cows.

4. People have all reported seeing similar things:1. Lots of very bright lights.2. On off, on off, like a disco.3. Seven stars of incredible luminosity.

4. They speak of:1. A strong wind.3. A rushing of the air.2. I thought I was going to be blown off my feet.

4. And many heard:2. A sort of buzzing.1. It was like a generator.3. Everything started to vibrate.

4. They felt a sense of:1. Anticipation.2. Excitement.3. Inexplicable happiness.

4. But then all the members of our survey experienced some form of:2. Total blackout.3. Loss of consciousness.

1. I don't remember.

4. Only later on coming to the conclusion that they had been:1. Mucked about with.2. Interfered with.3. They had sampled all my body's vital fluids.

4. And cited evidence in the form of:2. A bloody great headache.3. Strange lesions all over my body.1. A hole here look and another one there.

4. Most significantly all these people had kept their close encounter a secret.The reasons they gave for this were:

1. I thought noone would believe me.3. I felt deeply, deeply violated.2. I was embarrassed. To be honest I felt a bit stupid.

4. All were convinced that:3. Powerful forces are conspiring to keep us in ignorance.2. It's a massive coverup.1. The government knows. 2. The government knows.3. The government knows.1. That I am not the same, that I have been changed in some way, in some alien

way. Listen, do you want to know a secret? I have one, but I don't know it. I don't know what they did, what they took. Only the animals sense it and they keep away. They sniff and rear back from me. But the government knows, the government knows, the government knows my secret.

TWO VOICES.

1. You know I never did believe all that alchemy stuff - turning base metal into gold. It's like turning lies into truth. It's like....what's the password?2. I don't know.1. Well you can't come in then. It's like alacazam!2. Hey presto!1. Zim zalabim!2. Abracadabra!1. There are things beyond our wildest imaginings...it's been proved - but I never did believe all that alchemy stuff - huh - it's like wax effigies with pins in.2. They just get dusty in a drawer.1. Right. No, I never did believe in fairies.2. You shouldn't have said that.1. Why not?2. Tinkerbell just died.

TWO VOICES

1. Hey listen, have you heard about (insert appropriate name)?2. No what?1. You haven't heard?2. No.1. Oh well forget I said anything.2. What?1. Just forget it.

ONE ONE VOICE

I've got a secret recipeIt's one just especially for meI mix it strong I mix it thickAnd make myself feel very sick

ONE VOICE

Oh sure, they used me several times. I think I killed five people for them. They paid me well to do it and to keep my mouth shut. Then I did a favour for a friend and they got me - fitted me up for bumping off some middle management for 500 quid - I suppose they saw me as a risk. I could have spilled the beans. I could have given away all their little secrets.

ONE VOICE

When I was ten I lied about my shoe sizeWhen I was fifteen I stuffed cotton wool down my braWhen I was twenty one I secretly starved myselfWhen I was forty I dyed my hairWhen I was fifty I said, 'At least I've got all my own teeth.' But I hadn't.

TWO VOICES

1. I know your little secret.2. Do you?1. I know your game.2. I see.1. I know what you're up to.2. Right.1. You can't fool me.2. No?1. It was you wasn't it?

2. No.1. I saw you.2. It wasn't me.1. There's no point in lying about it.2. I'm not.1. You're just making it worse.NO REPLY1. Look - just tell me.NO REPLY1. I'd feel better.2. What do you want me to say?1. I'd rather you told me.2. There's nothing to tell.1. Let's clear the air.2. Oh yeah?1. Get things out into the open.2. What things?1. I won't mind.2. What's to mind!1. Trust me, come on, it's only fair, I won't be angry.2. Honest?1. Honest.2. Well it was only the once.1. You bastard.

WHISPERED PHRASE PASSED BETWEEN SEVERAL PEOPLE.STARTS OFF: For God's sake don't tell anyone.ENDS: Go and tell everyone.

ONE VOICE (MALE)

Do you promise not to tell?You promiseDon't youDon't youBecauseIf you tellI'll sayI'll say itIf you tellI'll say it was youI'll say it wasYouIf You tell

So don't

They won't believe youThey won't believeTheyWon't BelieveIf you say itThey won't believe youIf you tell

So don't

If you tellI'll killIf you tellI'll killIf youTell

So don't

Or I'll kill herYour mamIf you tell herI'll kill herI'll kill herAnd I'll sayIt was you

So don't you fucking tell anyone.

ONE VOICE

Once I had a secret love, that lived within the heart of me.All too soon that secret love became impatient to be free.Now I shout it from the highest hill.Even told the golden daffodil.At last my heart's an open doorAnd my secret love's no secret anymore.

ONE VOICE IN DARKNESS OVER SOUNDTRACK(LOW MUFFLED THUDS, SCRATCHING, COUGHS, GRUNTS, MOANS, CREAKS)It is a deep night dream. I keep dreaming it. Everything is dark so I can't seeand when I try to speak or shout out the words don't come out of my mouth because the blanket gets in the way. First there are the night noises - little scratchy ones

creaking and bumping too. Some nearby but I can't tell where. Maybe the noises aren't in my room at all. They sound like they are in the garden up a tree or in the shed. It is like the kittens when they put them in the sack all dark and hard to move and rough on your skin and not knowing what is touching you and what is yourself and only hearing the little squeaky cries. Then the bed leans over and lumps up and I am slipping and something is heavy pressing on me. I do try and shout for mum now but the blanket has got trapped under me and pulls tight over my mouth. I can't breathe. Somebody is shaking my bed with a big hand. A giant has picked it up and is getting ready to throw it. I can't breathe but I hold on tight so I won't fall out. I can hear the giant's teeth grinding. Someone is breathing and it isn't me and it isn't the giant. It's an animal. A big animal. The breathing stops and everything goes quiet and dark. The kittens are just lying still. There is hotness. There is some wet. Then in my night dream my body is taken away. It is taken down below me and there is a light shining on it so I can see it too and it has chalk round it like they do on the telly with a murder victim which is my dream. I dream of murder which is why it hurts and that is how there is a night killing in my safe sleep.SILENCE THEN A SCREAM, WE SEE A BODY OUTLINE IN WHITE CHALK.

ONE VOICE (MALE) And anyway, who'd believe a naughty little girl like you?

ONE VOICE (FEMALE) IN DARKNESS OVER SOUNDTRACK(LOW MUFFLED THUDS, SCRATCHING, COUGHS, GRUNTS, MOANS, CREAKS)And with the darkness came the old feelings, the old horrors and terrors still there and suddenly up close and all ready to come for me - choking secrets whispered in dull, sickening thuds, loose wild chopping and tireless grating, endless grinding against the grain.SOUNTRACK LOUDEROverheard nightmare sounds and under it all the fear of what it might feel like; sodden, clinging stickiness, an oozing soreness, slime layered soft sections, needle sharp scratching, sand coated grainy crustiness,matted threads, endless rottings ready to brush up against or creep along or just lying in wait to slick over. I know their shape is terrible, more horrible than ever - they will overtake me, they will overtake me, they will overtake me.

TWO VOICES WITH BACKGROUND MUSIC - SONG - SO WHAT DO YOUWANNA MAKE THOSE EYES AT ME FOR?

1. So what do you think?2. Looks fine.1. No, really.2. Really.1. Not too short?2. Short's practical.1. You mean it looks neat?2. Yes.1. I didn't want it to look neat.

2. It doesn't, I mean....1. You mean it looks sensible.2. Not really.1. But a bit?2. A bit sensible.1. (SARCASM) Oh that's great, I mean I really want to look...2. It's good. It's very good.1. Is it?2. I really like it.1. Do you?2. It suits you.1. Yeah?2. It looks terrific.1. Terrific eh?2. Absolutely terrific.PLACE - RURAL SOUTHERN IRELAND 1930. A WOMAN (MARY) DRAGS A CHICKEN COOP. SHE OPENS THE TOP AND CLIMBS INSIDE AND CROUCHES PEERING OUT OF A TINY WIRE APERTURE. A PRIEST PLACES A LOW STOOL SIDEWAYS TO THE COOP AND SITS WITH ONE HAND UP BLOCKING OFF THE EYE NEAREST THE COOP. AFTER THE FIRST CONFESSION A BOY SPEAKS, HE IS PARTIALLY SIGHTED AND MOVES ON ALL FOURS. HE INVESTIGATES THE COOP, SNIFFING ROUND IT AND RUBBING HIMSELFAGAINST IT LIKE A CAT. OCCASSIONALLY HE CROWS LIKE A COCKEREL. THE BOY'S REPLIES ARE PRONOUNCED HOPEFULLY, HE DELIGHTS IN HIS OWN EXISTANCE.

First Confession.Priest; Confessions every Saturday and Sunday.Mary; Bless me Father for I have sinned.Priest; Has it been long since your last confession?Mary; One week father.Priest; God is listening.Mary; I have these feelings Father.Priest; What kind of feelings my child?Mary; About my body Father.Priest; Put them out of your mind.Mary; I can't.Priest. You must. God is not concerned with your body.

It is your spirit he wishes to save.

TWO VOICES - MUSIC - SONG – EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE - STING1. I'm watching you.2. Why?1. I can see.2. What?1. You won't get away with it.2. Won't I?1. The truth will out.

2. Oh for...1. Out, out damned spot.2. .....for Christ's sake!1. Blood on your hands.2. It's laughable.1. I'm not laughing, I'm watching.

OVERLAPPING VOICESVOICE ONEWell it was alive/ definitely/ animate/ I could hear it breathing/ sort of sighing/ a sighing breath/ almost human but/ no not quite/ different/ whatever it was was alive, but not human.

VOICE TWOI could smell it/ it smelt rotton, bad/ something had gone off in there/ right off/ and when I put my hand in/ slime/ stuck to my fingers/ I couldn't get the smell off for days/ (sniffs fingers) still there/ (holds out fingers)/ smell/ can you smell it?

VOICE THREEVery soft/ beautiful/ a lovely texture/ like that powdery snow you get sometimes/ but not cold/ warm/ lovely and warm and silky/ so fine it was like water on my skin/ dry water/ yes, like dry water.

VOICE FOURSeveral things/ a collection/ oh yes, more than one/ four for five I'd say/ maybe six/and all different/ different shapes and textures/ smooth/ sharp/ one was prickly/ yes, there was something with spikes and something furry.

VOICE ONEI had a sense of being in the company of something altogether greater than myself/ altogether more significant/ a presence of dignity and stature/ of infinite love and compassion/ a transforming, enobling, life enhancing essence.

VOICE TWOWell it was in a bottle/ obviously/ you knew that/ Polish I'd say/ or possiblyRussian/I've certainly drunk stuff like that in Russia/ Kaletski gave it to me/ or was it Andrewlka?/ Aviation alcohol/ very pure and absolutely necessary when you're eating pineapple/ according to Kaletski, or was it Lena said that?/ we weren't of course/ eating pineapple/ yes, the bottle was the same/ and the kick/ aviation alcohol/ fucks your brains/ if you drink too much of it.

Second Confession

Priest; Confessions every Saturday and Sunday morning.Mary; Bless me Father for I have sinned.

Priest; Has it been long since your last confession?Mary; Three months Father.Priest; God is listeningBoy; Then tell him I am growing.Mary; Just a bit of fumbling in the dark.Boy; Tell him I am growing in your secret dark places.Mary; Such fumbling and tumbling.

My mother never told me.And my father had always drink taken.And after he died she just took more.

Priest; Do you have anything to confess?Mary; Just a bit of fumbling.Priest; But you knew it was a sin.Mary; How could I know when I was kept in the dark.Boy; Growing in the dark.

Third Confession

Priest Confession every Saturday and Sunday between ten and eleven.Mary Bless me father for I have sinned.Priest Has it been long since your last confession?Mary One year Father.Priest God is listening.Mary But are you listening Father?Boy Can you hear me?Mary Can you hear my baby crying?Priest I hear confession every Saturday and Sunday between ten and eleven.

Have you anything to confess?BOY CROWS LOUDLY.

Fourth Confession

Priest Confession every Sunday morning.Mary Bless me father for I have sinned.Priest Has it been long since your last confession?Mary Two years Father.Priest God is listening.Boy Tell me about my father.Mary You had none.Boy Even the animals have fathers.Priest You are not an animalBoy But how can I know that, when I am kept in the dark.

Dark drawer, dark cupboard, dark coop. I am cooped up in the dark.Priest Oh my child.Mary My poor childPriest Have you anything to confess?

Boy I am innocent!

Fifth Confession

Priest Confessions every Sunday between ten and eleven.Mary Bless me Father for I have sinned.Priest Has it been long since your last confession?Mary Three years Father.Priest Three years! And all the lifelong possibility gone from the child.Boy For look I am grown into it nowMary (Loving) My secret.Boy Back bent, sightless, witless.Priest Have you anything to confess?Mary I have.Boy Me! Her son, her secret that she keeps hidden in a chicken coop. Dark

drawer, dark cupboard, dark coop. Cooped up in the dark for six years.Mary Forgive me Father for the sins that I have confessed.

Help me Father, take my sin from me for God's sake!Boy For my sake!Priest God is merciful.Boy God is merciful!Priest But the secrets of the confessional are sacrosanct.

Say three Hail Mary's and three Our Father's.Mary And all the lifelong possiblity gone from the child.

FIVE VOICES WALKING

1. I put on my work clothes and left the house at 8.10 sharp just as usual2. I made up non-existent accounts then I transferred money into them. It was easy.1. I sat about in the library. I walked the streets.2. The figures looked good, so no-one checked.1 She never guessed.2. Just greedy I suppose.3. I liked the feeling of the clothes - nylon, silk, the stockings were best.4. Chocolate bars, ice creams, cereal - with sugar on of course, chips, mayonnaise condensed milk - I could eat that by the tin.3. I'd lay them out on the bed and touch them.4. Two fingers down my throat.3. Then I'd put them on.4. Behind closed doors.3. Always locked the bedroom door.4. I'd bring the lot up.1. We had code names we had drop off points, there were certain phrases, secret numbers, safe houses, undercover agents.TAKING TURNS

I'd sneak outI'd give a false nameI'd say I was working lateI'd say I had a meetingI'd do it in the looI always wore glovesI'd make sure everyone was outI locked itI hid the piecesI kept all her lettersI buried herInvisible inkI burnt every oneSwiss Bank accountsI tied a brick to it and threw it into the canalEvery Tuesday for twenty yearsYou couldn't tell it was fakeAll those yearsNoone knewThere was a hollow wallA false addressAn unnamed fileAn attic doorAn ex directory numberA locked drawerA loose floorboardAn inside pocketA spare flapA dummy heelA priest's holeA concealed compartment.She said if I told anyone...anyoneThis is a secret between you and meNo-one ever spoke of itNo-one ever spoke of itNo-one ever spoke of itNo-one ever spoke of itNo-one ever spoke of it

Come on, you can tell me, I can keep a secret, I won't tell anyone else, you can tell me.

TWO VOICES1 Ask me no questions.2 What?1 Ask me no questions.

2 No questions?1 No questions. Ask me no questions.2 Why not?1 Don't ask. Don't ask any questions.2 Right you are.

1 And I'll tell you no lies.2 Well, why should you?1 Why should I what?2 Tell me lies.1 I won't.2 Good.

1 Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.2 Fair enough.

1 You clear now?2 Absolutely.1 Sure?2 Yep.1 We understand each other?2 Perfectly.1 Shake on it?2 Can't.1 Why not?2 I lied.

TWO VOICES WHILE ONE OTHER TAP DANCES VIGOROUSLY1 The British secret world is.....2 Very secret.1 There is a chain...2 Of control1 The links go something....2 Like this:1 The SIS...2 Also know as Her Majesty's Secret Intelligence Service.1 Or MI6....2 If you'd rather.1 ...reports to the JIC....2 Also know as the Joint Intelligence Committee...1 And the OEIC...2 AKA Overseas Economic Intelligence Committee.BOTH PAUSE TO ADMIRE DANCER1 MI5 on the other hand reports to the OEIC, the CIS....2 Central intelligence Service1 and the OCS...

2 the Official Committee on Security.1 Whereas GCHQ...2 General Communications Headquarters1 reports to the JIC, the OEIC, the CIS and the LSIB.2 (HAS WANDERS OVER TO TAP DANCER AND TRIES TO COPY STEPS)1 LSIB?2 London Signal Intelligence Board.1 Of course.2 (DANCING TO RHYTHM OF WORDS) And the JIC,the OEIC, the CIS, the

LSIB and the OCS report to the PSIS.1. I beg your pardon?2 (DANCING ENTHUSIASTICALLY WITH TAP DANCER) The Permanent

Under Secretary's Committee on Intelligence Services.1. The PSIS.2 The PSIS.1 Who reports to the PM.2 (DANCING EVEN MORE WILDLY) Post meridian? Post Modern? Pre-menstral?1 (HAULS 2 OUT OF DANCE AND SLAPS HIM/HER PERFUNCTORILYON THE LEG ) Shut up.1 Ouch!2 Keep mum, keep quiet, keep stumm, hold your tongue, don't spill the beans

put a sock in it, shush, there's no need to tell everyone, there's no need to say anything, this is strictly entre nous, off the record, behind closed doors, in the interests of national security. This is....this is....

(DANCER INDICATES 1 and 2) This is the Secret Service.

TWO VOICES1 I just don't know how to tell you this.2 Tell me what?1 I just don't know how to tell you this.2 Tell me what?1 I...2 What?1 I just don't know how to tell you this, but your father.....2 What?1 I just don't know how to tell you this, but on the way home...2 What?1 I just don't know how to tell you this, but...2 What?1 It was during the war..2 What was?1 It was dog eat dog, it was everyone for themselves, it was just following

orders, it was the thing to do, at the time, we had no choice, it was.... I just don't know how to tell you this....

2 Well don't...1 Don't?

2 No, don't.1 I just....2 Don't tell me.

AT THE CENTRAL TABLE - TWO VOICES - SMUGGLING SEQUENCEPART TWO1 Buy the best quality condoms you can find, but avoid the lubricated.2 So daglo's OK but not easy overs?1 Or flavours - the chemicals can react.2 Badly?1 That's right. Take the rubber and a teaspoon like this. You just put in say..

that much.2 One spoonful?1 About that, then you knot it.2 Tight?1 Well, it's got to be leak proof, but don't stretch it too much.2 Or what?1 Well the knot's a weak spot obviously, you don't want it to split.2 No I wouldn't want that.1 So don't pull too hard. Like this see, just enough.2 To stop it leaking.1 That's it. Then take your scissors and trim.2 Close to the knot?1 Not too close, you don't want to...2 Cut the knot?1 Well you won't will you? Not if you're careful.2 I'll be very careful.1 Right - so then when you've done that...2 IRONIC You get to the easy bit.1 It's not so bad. It's a knack. HANDS GLASS OF WATER.

Plenty of water.2 TAKES WATER Plenty of water and ....SWILLS WATER, TAKES

BAG IN MOUTH AND SWALLOWS WITH DIFFICULTY. One.Look I'm sweating - it's nerves, but it's OK Better to sweat nowthan when we go through the customs. Yeh, better now before thesmack hits my stomach - smack in the stomach - pregnant with it -I'm great with junk - a suitcase full of shit - that's me. And again....SWALLOWS ANOTHER BAG. Two.

1 Not too much water.2 But you said...1 You know what aeroplane bogs are like.2 What if I need to...?1 Don't - not till they tell you.2 But when I get nervous I...1 Control yourself.2 But what if...?

1 I said control it.2 Alright ...SWALLOWS BAG....Three.

Three bags not secreted about my person, but secreted in my person - which in turn is secreting - I'm still sweating, sweating secrete substances,look how they are oozing out of me, perhaps they're oozing in me too -these bags of shit. I can feel it, all my secret shit sweating away in there.

1 Don't think about it.2 What? Forget my little bombs?1 Why not?2 Because they might go off.1 You can't think about it.2 Go off in my stomach.1 They're OK.2 Bang!1 They can't burst.2 Bang!1 No.2 Bang!1 Don't think about them. Think about the money.2 SWALLOWING BAGS ...Four, five, six. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!

Six secrets exploding in my inner core, in my soft sack of vulnerabilityDestroying me from within.

1 It can happen. Nervousness can make the digestive acids stronger.They attack the rubber. The condom bursts. It can happen. A massive overdose. Certain death. No question.

ONE VOICEI had this secretfor years.Then I met this man.I spoke to himand things were cleared up.This man made it so the secret wasn'tanymore.I didn't have it.I didn't need to keep it.And you know I felt like....whoof (LIFTS HANDS FROM SHOULDERS LIKEA BIRD TAKING OFF) no more gravity.

ONE VOICE

....the sphere to which the liberated soul ascends, looking at the sunset towards the west wind and hearing secret harmonies.iv

THREE VOICES (ADAPTED FROM 'GO BETWEEN ' BY L.P. HARTLEY)

Man (WRITING LETTER) Can I trust you to keep your mouth shut?Boy Do you want me to cross my heart?Man You can do what you like with yourself, but if you let on....Boy Is it a secret?Man It's more than that. (SEALS ENVELOPE AND HANDS LETTER OVER)

If you can't get her alone don't give it to her.BOY WALKS TO WOMAN AND HANDS HER LETTERBoy; I'm afraid it's rather crumpledWOMAN SNATCHES LETTERWom. You mustn't tell anyone about this letter, noone at all, you mustn't breathe

a word.Boy I was rather bored by these injunctions to secrecy. Grownups didn't seem

to realize that for me, as for most other schoolboys, it was easier to keepsilent than to speak. I was a natural oyster.

WOMAN HAS FINISHED WRITING A LETTER WHICH SHE GIVES TO HIM.WOMAN MOVES AWAY. THE BOY LOOKS AT THE ENVELOPE. IT IS OPEN.Boy At school the rules about reading other people's letters were fairly well

defined. If you left your letters lying about and somebody read them, then it was your fault. If someone rifled your desk or locker and read them then it was their fault. In class I had often passed round notes. If they were sealed I should not have dreamed of reading them; if they were open I often read them - indeed it was usually the intention of the sender that one should, for they were meant to raise a laugh.Unsealed one could read them; sealed one couldn't; it was as simple as that.Marian's letter was unsealed and therefore I could read it. So why hesitate?I hesitated because I wasn't sure she had meant me to read the letter. Theothers had been sealed. She had given me this one in a hurry; she might havemeant to seal it. But she hadn't.In our school code we attatched great weight to facts and very little to intentions. Either you had done something or you hadn't: and what your motives might have been didn't matter. If Marian had made a slip, well, then, she must pay for it. That was only logical. But I wished her well, I wanted to be of use to her, my feelings were entangled with hers...I made up my mind; I would not take the letter out of the envelope: I would only read the words that were exposed, and three of them were the same, as I could see from upside down. 'Darling, darling, darling. Same place,same time, this evening. But take care not to' The rest was hidden by the envelope.WALKS OVER TO MAN AND GIVES HIM LETTERHe at once tore the envelope open; and then I knew he must have killed something before I came, for, to my horror, a long smear of blood appeared on the envelope and again on the letter as he held it in his hands.Oh don't do that!He didn't answer me, he was so engrossed in reading.

I'm afraid I shan't be able to bring you any more letters. Man (REPLYING WHILST WRITING LETTER) Have you told her this? BOY SHAKES HEAD

Man Look here she likes you doesn't she?Boy I....I think so.Man And you want her to like you, don't you?Boy Yes.Man And you wouldn't like her to stop liking you?Boy No.Man Now why? Why wouldn't you like it? What difference would it make to

you if she stopped liking you? Where would you feel it?Boy Here. (PUTS HAND ON HEART)Man (SEALS ENVELOPE) So you have a heart. I thought perhaps you hadn't.

(HANDS BOY LETTER LAUGHING) No blood on this one.

TWO VOICES

1 I am a liar2 Because I love you1 I lead an existence of unutterable loneliness2 Because there is not even a question of lying between us1 I am afraid. I am afraid that my own truths are not good enough2 I take your accounts of the universe on trust1 I am afraid of something unnamed within me2 When I discover you lie1 I fear the void2 I am thrust back onto some black jutting ledge, in a dark pierced by sheets of 1 fire, swept by sheets of rain, in a world before kinship, or naming, or

tenderness exists2 I want to fill the void. With anything.1 I am brought close to formlessness.2 My lies are a denial of my fear; a way of maintaining control1 When you lie to me2 I lie to myself.1 We lose faith2 Together - even with our own lives.v

ADAPTED FROM 'THE SECRET SHARER' BY JOSEPH CONRADTWO VOICES + MUSICIAN PLAYING BACH CELLO SUITESEpisode One1 Are you alone on deck?2 Yes.1 I suppose your Captain's turned in?2 I'm sure he isn't.1 Can you call him out quietly?2 I am the Captain. PAUSE But I feel like a stranger to my ship.1 Are you alone?

2 Yes.1 I suppose your Captain's turned in?2 I'm sure he isn't.1 Can you call him out quietly?2 I am the Captain. PAUSE1 No need to call anyone then?2 I wasn't going to. What's the matter?1 CrampPAUSE2 He made no motion to get out of the water.1 You are alone on deck?2 Yes.

Episode Two2 You swam for our light?1 Straight for it. I couldn't see any stars low down because the coast was in

the way, and I couldn't see the land either.2 So you swam for our light?1 It was something to swim for. The sea was like glass so I went on easily. But

the question for me now is whether I let go this ladder and go on simming till I sink from exhaustion.

2 Or come on board here?1 Yes.2 You swam for our light?1 I meant to swim 'till I sank.PAUSE2 He was not a bit like me really. Yet as I stood leaning over, it was as though

I had been faced by my reflection in a somber and immense mirror.You kept swimming?

1 I didn't mean to go back.

Episode Three2 What is it?1 An ugly business.2 Something wrong?1. I've killed a man.2 An ugly business.1 I was overcome by this terrific weather that seemed to have no end to it.2 Not a bit like me; yet he appealed to me as if our experiences had been

as identical as our clothes.1 What is it?2 Anyone PAUSE Anyone would have taken him for me.

Episode Four2 He had turned round and we faced each other.

1 No man killed by the sea ever looked like that.2 It was like being haunted. Part of me was absent.

I had that mental feeling of being in two places at once.1. No man killed by the sea ever looked like that.2 Anyone would have taken him for me - the secret sharer of my cabin.

He appealed to me. PAUSEIt was very much like being mad, only it was worse because I was aware of it.

Episode Five2 On opening the door I had a back view of my very own self.1 My second self.2 Land looks pretty close.1 Where are we?2 To find him sitting so quietly was surprising, like something against

nature, inhuman. I felt more dual than ever. PAUSE My god! Where are we? 1 Looking for the land wind. PAUSE2 Before I left the cabin our eyes met - the eyes of the only two strangers on

board.

ALL VOICES - SMUGGLING SEQUENCE PART SEVENCARRIER STARTS TO RUN ON THE SPOT Smuggler Do you have any final messages?Carrier Yes - no - no, no message.Smuggler Or there's time for a 'phone call, a last conversation. Who shall I ring?Carrier Don't, don't ring.Smuggler A relative perhaps?Girl You’re sweating Davey.Carrier It's nothing...just...flu coming on...yeah, I got a touch of flu.Girl Shall I fetch Mam then?Carrier No, I need to slow down, have a bit of a rest, then I'll be OK.Girl I'll get Mam.Carrier No!Girl CALLS Mam!Mother You sick son?Carrier Just a....I got a bit of a pain.Mother You look sick, but then you never did look after yourself. Never

could be bothered to take the time. How often have I said...Carrier No mam, don't. I'm OK.Mother Aye, I expect you'll do. Carrier I will, I will.Mother I'll pray for you.Carrier You do that mam.Mother I always pray for you son.Carrier That's good.Mother I am your mother after all.CARRIER DOUBLES UP IN PAIN, ENTER PRIEST

Priest And all the lifelong possibility gone from the child. Confession every day at (CHECKS WATCH AND READS TIME)Has it been long since your last confession?

Carrier Yes...I ....yes.Priest God is merciful.Carrier For pity's sake.Priest Have you anything to confess?Carrier (EXHAUSTED) Oh Christ.Priest God is listening. Make your last confession my son.Carrier Jesus!Priest I am listening.Reporter Exactly where were you? How would you describe it?

Did you feel anything? Did you hear anything? How did it affect you?Carrier I'm going to be sick.Reporter Did you lose consciousness? And afterwards, what did you think?

And believe? Why didn't you tell anyone?SS It was coded information. It was covered by the official secrets' act.

He was a double agent.Sharer Anyone would have taken him for me.Priest Have you nothing to confess?Girl Choking secrets whispered in dull sickening thuds.SS Keep quiet, keep stumm, hold your tongue.Priest Nothing?Mother Don't keep it in the dark son.BOY JUMPS UP ONTO BACK OF CARRIER WHO IS STAGGERING EXHAUSTEDBoy Dark cupboard, dark coop.THE GIRL (HIS SISTER) HANGS ROUND THE CARRIER'S NECKGirl Sudden wetness, clinging stickiness, an oozing soreness.CARRIER TRIES TO PULL HER OFFReporter Strange lesions all over their bodies.Girl Slime layered soft sections, needle sharp scratchings.Reporter Why?SS The government knows.Priest Confess.Another voice Shut your face PAUSE and keep it shut.Girl Endless rottings.Sharer Land looks pretty close.Another voice Did you find anything in the dark.

On the other side of the small doorThat hates yellow dresses?

Sharer So you swam for our light?CARRIER COLLAPSES I didn't mean to go back.Another voice Listen, do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell?

The secret is:Mother I knew it was a sin.Sharer I was haunting myself.

Boy I was lovedReporter I could see they were a bunch of crackpots.SS We can buy anyone.Girl I felt responsible.Priest God doesn't exist.Carrier A false address

An unnamed fileAn attic doorAn ex directory numberA locked drawerA loose floorboardAn inside pocketA spare flapA dummy heelA priest's holeA concealed compartment.

Another voice Don't get carried away.Carrier Carried away! But I am the carrier. I carry the secrets.Another voice We all do that.

Carrier Yes.....but mine....(COLLAPSES).....mine are killing me.

iv 17th Century Alchemist -THOMAS VAUGHANv SECRETS RELY ON LIES, adapted from WOMEN AND HONOUR: Some notes on lying, ADRIENNE RICH