The 'Tinderfication' of Love

The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370

The‘Tinderfication’

of Love By 33268370

Word count – 8493Student number - 33268370

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The Tinderfication of Love

Contents Page

Introduction - Page 3

Literature Review – Page 5

Method & Methodology – Page 8

Results & Findings – Page 11

Discussion and Conclusion – Page 17

Appendix – Page 19


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Chapter 1: Introduction

The traditional idea of romantic relationships is about falling in love, having sex and then getting married (De Munck, 1998; Giddens, 1992; Beck and Beck-Gernsheim, 1995). However this is now an outdated pre modern notion of love, where love was less about choice and more about economic security (Evans, 2002; Jamieson, 1998) and as we have entered into a new, contemporary social milieu, ideals of love, intimacy and romance have also altered with the changing nature of modernity (Baumann, 2003).

The concepts of ‘love at first sight’ (Giddens, 1992) and ‘till death do us part’ (Baumann, 2003) are becoming increasingly redundant and destitute, as are long held societally deemed ‘appropriate’ relationships ideals of long term monogamy. This can be inferred through 1 in 3 of all marriages ending in divorce (Cavendish, 2010). One reason for this shift is due to modernity allowing for and entertaining the notion of free choice (Baumann, 2003; Illouz, 2012). Thereis a significant correlational link between choice entering the relationship market and the popularity of online Internet dating. The rise of Internet dating comes as no surprise with around 40% of the global population being able to access the Internet (ITU) and the Internet having crept into every aspectof daily lives to simplify and reduce the social work load of trying to meet new people while attempting to juggle work and life commitments. Internet dating allows for individuals to meet the demands of contemporary society, while so interactingwith new people (Brym and Lenton, 2002) and it is for this reason that potentially one in three relationships now start online (match.com).

The popularity of Internet dating has led to romance becoming big business with it being the highest grossing online category of paid services, even beating pornography (Illouz, 2012). Internet dating is thus a by-product of capitalism and modernity, which in turn allows for the formation of love as acommodity and something to be consumed (Baumann, 2003; Illouz,2012). Internet dating has expanded beyond the computer; following on from the popularity and implementation of smart phones in society, a myriad of dating based apps have been developed. These dating apps, such as Tinder, Grindr and Happen, to name but a few, are extremely popular with society.


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370It is predicted there are 50 million active users on Tinder (Newell, 2015), which have been created since the application was first launched in 2012.

It is thus at this juncture that I introduce the aims of my research. I shall be attempting to uncover whether the popularity and usage of mobile dating applications within modernity have altered the way that individuals view love and engage in romance. In addition to this, I shall be aiming to establish whether the wide spread implementation and proliferation of mobile based dating applications, such as Tinder, highlight that love within modernity is something to be consumed and the individual has become a commodity. Moreover, I shall also be attempting to gauge an understandingof how individuals use mobile dating applications, and the personal feelings they harbor towards contemporary forms of dating.

However despite the popularity of mobile dating apps there is little published material that looks at the effect that these apps have had on love, this is partially due to the relativelyrecent uptake of such apps. In addition the majority of research that has romance at the crux of its agenda has highlighted how love has altered in tandem with a changing society. I am attempting to argue that Internet dating can beconsidered another romantic shift, which followed the technological advancements that occurred within modernity.

I shall be attempting to gain insight into this undocumented area through conducting a small-scale qualitative study with six forty five minute long focus groups, with four individualsin each group. For the purpose of this study each participant had experience of using tinder and is aged between 18-22, thisis due to Tinder and the majority of mobile dating applicationbeing aimed at individuals under the age of 25. I personally evaluated that focus groups were the most suitable and efficient way to gain an understanding into my research topic,also this method allows access to a superior insight and understanding of ones thoughts and feelings as it generates large swathes of rich meaningful data (a discussion of my methods can be found in chapter 3).

This research project has provided me with the opportunity to investigate romantic relationships; how they develop, the meaning that love has and by what means people form romantic connections, which has personally been a longstanding point


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370fascination as while love and emotion are deeply intimate and subjective, there is still consensus as to what constitutes love. My choice to place dating apps at the center of my research is due to recent uptake in usage by young adults as ameans to romantically court and find suitable mates. It is a contemporary issue and has created a romantic revolution.


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Chapter 2: Literature Review

Traditional Love:

While passion and sex have been concurrent in society regardless of its form (Giddens, 1992). It wasn’t until the 19th and 20th century that contemporary romance and love appeared within society. This emergence is largely due to the influence of romantic discourse being woven into popular culture, such as the introduction of romantic novels (Evans, 2002; Giddens, 1992; Sears, 2007). One other way that these now consensually held ideals of love and romance became ingrained in society is through nursery rhymes. Nursery rhymesare covert ways of installing societally held beliefs of love and the perceived ‘correct’ route that love should take into the mind of young children. From a young age we learn the prevalent nature of love, we are subtly indoctrinated to accept these norms through the powerful medium of nursery rhymes (Sears, 2007).

This promotion of ideologies within popular culture led to theglorification of certain types of relationships, with ‘mononormativity’ being held as the ‘ideal’. Monormative relationships are long-term heterosexual monogamous couplings based on romance (Sanger and Taylor, 2013). It is this type ofrelationship that has traditionally been conveyed and showed within culture and thus it is held as the norm that people aresupposed to aspire to (Baker, 2012). It is due to this promotion of certain romantic ideals that has led to marriage becoming romanticised in western cultures with emphasis being placed love, sex and the relationship (Jamieson, 1998).

However, many believe that romantic love has a hidden agenda and is used to promote certain ideologies. It subscribes to the idea of love at first sight and is argued to be a hegemonic mechanism to promote romantic notions of heterosexuality, monogamy and marriage (Giddens, 1992).

Modern Love:

“The romantic definition of love as ‘till death do us part’ is decidedly out of fashionhaving passed its use by date because of the radical overhaul of the kinshipstructures it used to serve from which it drew its vigor and self-importance”

(Baumann, 2003: 5)


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370As society progressed and altered so to did societal beliefs and ideals. The altering of beliefs applied to all walks of social life, and was especially prominent within the realm of love. Modernity sees a shift in emotions and societal norms ofrelationships (Beck and Beck-Gernsheim, 1995; Evans, 2002; Giddens, 1992 & Illouz, 2010). There has been argued that there is a major difference between pre modern and modern forms of love, with it being said that pre modern courtship was for economic reason, postmodern reasoning is centered on shared interests. There is a shift from objectivity to subjectivity (Illouz, 2010)

Modernity brought with it great societal changes, but one change that is particularly pivotal to the altering ideas of relationships is the changing of the perception in the role that a female plays in society; the changing nature of love isunderpinned by altering sexual gender roles and the emancipation of female sexuality (Evans, 2002; Jamieson, 1998).

However, it would be reductionist to entertain the notion thatthis transformation from pre modern-to-modern love can be solely explained through shifting gender roles. Another contributory factor is that modernity has brought with it the capitalist idea of choice. Love in modernity is about choice, modern society offers pluralized life choices, to be specific,one can select who they love, the form this love takes and which sexual activities to participate in (Giddens, 1992; Illouz, 2012). This idea of choice is a result of capitalism being woven into sexuality within modernity (Evans, 2002) and presents the idea that love has been commidified (Illouz, 2012). Thus love in modernity is a form of consumerism, it is about accumulating goods, but also about using them, modern love is about turnover (Baumann, 2003). This has made love increasingly hard to find in modernity, but it is still something that individuals seek and build their lives around (Evans, 2002).

Sex has become uncoupled from love, marriage and reproduction.Relationships are now about satisfaction, with individuals happy to commit as long as they are emotionally and sexually satisfied (Evans, 2002; Giddens, 1995). Therefore, the altering nature of love has affected the type of relationshipsthat exist in modernity. As “modernity is about avoiding embraces that are too tight”(Baumann, 2003:8). These new forms of relationships are as aforementioned due to the shifting societal values and


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370ideals. Modernity has spawned what Giddens calls ‘plastic sexuality’, which can be defined as flexible and malleable societal ideals that refers to in, particular sexual intercourse being exclusively for pleasure, not procreation (Giddens, 1992).

This idea of sex being for pleasure replacing sex for reproduction has affected the traditional ideas of ‘till deathdo us part’ which has been replaced with loose and eminently revocable partnerships (Baumann, 2003). There is no longer an ‘iron cage of marriage’ (Evans, 2002). Therefore, as a result of the changing reasons for companionship, types of relationships have altered, with new forms of uncommitted no strings attached relationships becoming prominent. One such isa ‘top pocket relationship’, they are so called as they can bekept in the pocket and brought out if they are needed, they are instantaneous and disposable, with little effort required,but allow for great control (Baumann, 2003). These relationships act as an “emotional halfway house between the freedom of dating and the seriousness of a major relationship”(Jarvie in Baumann, 2003).

Love on the Internet

Dating in modernity is all about rationality. Internet dating fulfills such new standards of rational choice perfectly (Baumann, 2003). One way it does this is due to the Internet requiring a rationalized mode of partner selection, which contradicts love as an unexpected epiphany. A rational search takes place over physical attraction (Illouz, 2010). The popularity of represents a significant departure from the tradition of love that was prominent in the 19th and 20th centuries, it departs form the idea of love at first sight. (Illouz, 2010). One reason for this may be due to Internet dating also being able to ease the demands of contemporary society, with individuals being so consumed with work and other activities they have little time for dating, Internet dating is an efficient way to meet possible mates that meet required characteristics (Brym and Lenton, 2001).

The Internet has turned dating into a market, one is in competition with others, which in turn creates the self as a commodity on public display (Illouz, 2010). There is a furtherdisconnect from traditional romantic forms of love, as pre Internet love triggered imagination through processes of idealization. The Internet unleashes fantasy yet inhibits


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370romantic feelings (Illouz, 2010). Romantic love is about uniqueness, the Internet is about the abundance of interchangeability, it has introduced to the realm of romanticencounters the principle of mass consumption based on an economy of abundance (2010). Internet dating is about desire, and desire is about consumption, love is about possession. Internet dating moves away from this possession and thus it becomes about consumption (Baumann, 2003), thus Internet dating is a form of emotional capitalism (Illouz, 2010).

Despite this notion of abundance, the Internet has actually limited ones physical interaction with others, technology was supposed to be at the centre of the communication revolution but it is stopping people interacting physically (Baumann, 2003). However, Internet dating has its advantages, you can always delete, date safely, secure in the knowledge that you can return to the market place, no obligations and terminationon demand but not personally (Baumann, 2003; Illouz, 2010). The Internet is an extension on the idea of choice that appeared with the entering of modernity. “No technology I know has radicalized in such an extreme way the notion of the self as a ‘chooser’ and the idea that the romantic encounter should be the best possible choice”(Illouz, 2010:79)

Therefore, while some sociologists argue that there is a cleardistinction between different types of love, from looking at the literature it is clear love is not a fixed or an unchanging emotion, it is fluid as Baumann argues, however it is also historical. It is historical as despite the changes insocial formation the notion of love has transcended every single social and emotional shift, that emerge at specific junctures in time, and while there has been a complete alteration of society, love although manifested differently still exists. Potentially then, what we may have with the phenomena of Internet dating is the creation and the formationof a new model of romantic love, or at the very least a modification of an established model. This is what I shall be attempting to establish within my research.


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Chapter 3: Method & Methodology

“Focus groups are a way of listening to people and understanding them”Morgan, 1998:9

Method Choice

The method that I opted to employ to gather my data was focus groups. I decided that due to the underlying need to understands ones experiences of Tinder and their beliefs aboutmodern relationships being the crux of my research that it would be best to conduct qualitative research (Morgan, 1998). Within this strand of sociological method lie focus groups, which is the particular method I will be administering. This is due to it allowing for group discussion around certain key themes, along with the examination of points of differences inthe varying views that operate in a social network (Barbour and Kitzinger, 1995).

Methodological Perspective

An individuals understanding of love, romance and intimacy, while it is highly subjective, stems from many social processes and these processes frame their evaluation of relationships. Therefore, the sociological perspective that underpins my research is symbolic interactionism. Symbolic interactionism is defined as “a body of theory that emphasizes the organization of everyday social life around events and actions that act as symbols to which actors orient themselves” (Seale et al, 2004:510). The basic premise of symbolic interactionism is that social life is formed, maintained and altered by the meanings attributed to it by individuals who interact on the basis of meanings they assign to the world. Social life and social objects become substantial when they are assigned meanings (Robson, 2002). Focus groups and Symbolic Interactionism have a mutual relevance due to their shared emphasis on interaction.

In relation to love then and using symbolic interactionism as a guide, individuals have ascribed a certain set of meanings to love and what it means to be in love, and these romantic notions have stemmed from social interaction and the communal sharing of meanings within society. Therefore, the reason thatsymbolic interactionism is the methodology at the center of myresearch is that I am attempting to establish whether meaningsof love in modernity have altered due to the presence and usage of online dating apps within the last decade, and


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370whether the meanings that individuals attribute to love have changed with the altering social mechanics of relationships.

Evaluation of Focus Groups as a Method“Focus groups are fundamentally a way of listening to people to learn from them.

Focus groups create lines of communication” (Morgan, 1998:9)

Using focus groups to collect data has many positive features.To begin with the fundamental benefit of using a focus group is that they are cost and time effective in comparison to other forms of qualitative data gathering method (Krueger and Kasey, 2008). One of the distinct features of focus-group interviews is its group dynamics, hence the type and range of data generated through the social interaction of the group areoften deeper and richer than those obtained from one-to-one interviews (Rabbie, 2004)

In addition to this, you can argue for focus groups having theshared generic strengths apparent in qualitative research: these are (1) exploration and discovery, (2) context and depth, and (3) interpretation (Morgan, 1998). The use of focusgroups within my research allowed me to truly understand the popularity and usage of mobile dating applications as it allowed for discussion and a purveying of ones beliefs and experiences. It also gave insight into areas that I had previously not thought of.

However, focus groups are not without their limitations. In some focus groups, certain personalities of the participants, such as dominant personality traits, may influence the group discussion and thus the results (Hollander, 2004; Krueger and Casey, 2008), however this was not an issue as my participantscame from pre-existing social groups. Focus groups are criticised for sometimes offering limited understanding of an issue, compared to those obtained from interviews (Hopkins 2007; Krueger and Casey, 2008), however I overcame this by conducting a third session after re-listening to the first twofocus groups. This session had no specific aim other than to answer any further question I may have. Furthermore, data gathered from focus groups might be fabricated due to individuals being either too embarrassed to give an honest answer due to the influence of the group or the researcher (Krueger and Casey, 2008). Again the pre-existing relationshipof my participants combatted this.


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Structure of Focus Group

Before conducting each focus group I completed a pilot focus group that involved asking a selection of individuals the question I was set to pose my subjects. This was to certify there were no issues or abstruse questions, which could mislead and thus distort answers (Bryman, 2008).

Each focus groups was different, due to the nature of method and the piggyback sampling method that I employed, none of the6 sessions (3 with each group) were planned in advanced due tothe effervescent nature of students, however I had prepared a few questions for each meeting to keep the discussion focused and pandering to my research needs. Each focus group lasted roughly 30 minutes and fully answered the questions I had planned.

The first focus group I intended to outline and understand as to why individuals would be drawn to using online dating apps,or whether they saw an issue in doing so and there experience interacting with them. The second focus group I was attemptingto gauge individuals understanding of love, and whether or notinternet dating as modern way of engaging romance was alteringtheir perception of it. The final focus group had no real theme or trajectory other than to readdress any issues that I may have missed or found particular interesting, so it had a sporadic nature.

Sampling

My sample shall be made up of two focus groups, one male focusgroup and one female focus group each comprised of 4 individuals. The age range is between 19 and 22. For focus groups to work, there is an essential notion of ‘applicability’, which needs to be applied when selecting yourparticipants. ‘Applicability’ is the idea that your participants have underlying knowledge of the study area (Burrows and Kendall, 1997). It is for this reasons that I selected my participants, as all have had experience of using Tinder in some capacity or another. In addition to this participants in this type of research are also selected on thecriteria that they are within the age-range, have similar socio-characteristics and would be comfortable talking to the interviewer and each other (Richardson & Rabiee, 2001).


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370I have used an opportunity sampling frame, as my sample is comprised of individuals from my target population that are readily available and willing to take part in my study. My sample is small in size (n=8). In addition to this, my sampling frame is a purposive one. Purposive sampling is the selection of participants that have a significant relationshipto the research topic (Tonkiss, 2004), and as all of my participants have had experience using tinder I feel that thisis the case.

Data Analysis

Qualitative research and particularly focus groups generate large swathes of data, therefore the prominent aim of qualitative data analysis is to reduce this data to a manageable level (Robson, 1993). Qualitative analysis, unlike quantitative analysis occurs concurrently with data collection(Rabiee, 2004). Therefore, when conducting analysis of qualitative data it is important that it should be systematic,sequential, verifiable, and continuous (Krueger and Casey, 2008).

To analyse my data I shall be using a mix of Krueger’s (1994) and Ritchie and Spencer’s (1994) framework analysis as is outlined in Rabiee’s (2004) work. The benefit of Krueger’s (1994) approach is that “it provides a clear series of steps, which could help first-time researchers to manage the large amount and complex nature of qualitative data much more easily.”(Rabiee, 2004:657). Framework analysis allows themes to develop within the research both from the research question and from the narratives of researchparticipants (Rabiee, 2004).

To collect my data, I firstly manipulated the discussion through asking the questions that I had assigned for each focus group, I was recording each session while making notes of key points, then once I had collected the data I immersed myself within it to get an overview of the discussion and allow for reoccurring themes to form. I then grouped these themes through coding my data. Finally I arranged specific quotes to fit in with these themes. Charting, the next stage, entails taking certain quotes from their original context and re-arranging them under newly developed appropriate thematic content (Rabiee, 2004).

Ethical Issues


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370Certain ethical issues and implications arise within all formsof social data collection. Ethical issues are notable in my study due to the sensitive nature of what I am investigating; due to this it is imperative to gain informed consent from allparticipants so that they are not only aware of what the studyentails, but also so they know they can withdraw at anytime and that all information gathered will be anonymous (Ali and Kelly, 2011). I achieved this through having each individual sign a consent form, a copy of which is attached in my appendix, this outlined the exact nature of my research, that they are entitled to a copy of my research once it has been concluded and their rights as a participant.

There are specific issues connected with focus group based approaches with “most of the ethical issues in focus groups following from relationships… What obligations do the participants have to each other?”(Morgan, 1998: 85). The primary issue that arises with the implementation in my study is within confidentiality and the issue of privacy due to what individuals will learn about eachother (Morgan, 1998). However I combated this through using pre existing social groups that have a preexisting relationship, so it would be unwise to be non discreet.


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Chapter 4:Findings & results

After conducting my research and analyzing my data using a framework analysis, as I outlined above, I found there to be four reoccurring themes within it. These are as follows: Paranoia, Commodification of romance, The desirable self and More meetings less love. Within this chapter I shall be outlining all four of these key themes and highlighting how they are entwined with my specific research questions, I will be attempting to orchestrate these points in such a way to highlight that whilewe are now living in a hyper connected society where romantic capabilities go well beyond conventional realms and means for facilitating romantic encounters are now bountiful there is less love than in prior social formations.

1. Paranoia

One of the initial reappearing themes I discovered I shall simply call paranoia. Within modern dating there is now an underlying sense of paranoia. My usage of the word paranoia isvery much in line with the dictionary definition, a sense of suspicion or distrustfulness. From the data that I gathered I found this notion of paranoia operates in two different ways, firstly there is an apparent sense of unease in the earlier stages of dating that can be linked to the proliferation of online dating applications. Secondly, paranoia is also prevalent when I enquired about the legitimacy of the use of dating applications, and whether individuals see it is an acceptable means of meeting others or whether society does.

The first way the aforementioned theme of paranoia reared itself within my research was through a number of participantscommenting that there would be a level of distrust in the initial stages of any relationship that they entered into and that this suspicion may continue throughout the duration of there relationship.

I asked the question as to whether someone would start a relationship online and Clara from the female groups respondedwith this:

“I wouldn’t start a relationship with someone online, as there is the chance that they could still be using such apps, I don’t know if I would trust that…. he could easily find someone else, they could just log back on and match someone within a couple of swipes.”


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Whereas Luke from the male group said something similar:

“It has just, well sort of put me on edge, everyone using the app, you never know whois on it, and you often bump into a profile of someone you know and you know if youare seeing someone from it, you just assume that they are still using it, I mean you can’t blame, there are just so many people on it now, erm like I was still using it whileseeing someone”

Therefore, from these above quotes we can see just how there is an underlying sense of paranoia interwoven into the online dating procedure that accompanies the popularity of apps such as Tinder, as individuals are in fear that whom ever they meetthrough such means has the potential to easily meet another person through reactivation of the account or the continuationof their tinder usage.

This idea of paranoia however, was viewed by Zoe from the female group to be a symptom of dating in modernity as a wholeand not one that is limited to Internet dating, “But I guess that is the same with all types of dating now, people can just log in and be in contact with numerous numbers of girls”. So this level of paranoia is possibly notlimited to relationships that are started online, but to all romantic relationships, however the paranoia stems from the popularity of dating application, tinder breeds a level of distrust.

The second way that paranoia is manifested is through individuals feeling that any relationships that they did startonline or the implementation of such methods to instigate romantic meetings is not seen as a legitimate means of doing so.

I posed the question, ‘if you met someone through tinder and started a relationship, would you tell people how you met?’ to both groups, Luke in the male focus groups said this:

“Nar, I wouldn’t tell anyone that we met on tinder, or not at first anyway, you know, erm, it just carries that prejudice, that it isn’t a real way of meeting someone”

Whereas Clara from the female groups said this:

“Erm, well I don’t think so, or not initially anyway, well I guess it depends who it is, I mean I wouldn’t tell my parents that’s where we met, but my close friends, I just don’tthink some people see it as a proper way to meet people, some older people anyway, and some younger just see it as a way of sleeping around”


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370It would also appear that there is a perceived generational difference in the way that tinder would be viewed, as highlighted from the following dialogue within the female focus group:

Amy: “Hahaaha no, actually I guess, it depends who it is. I mean I wouldn’t tell my mum or Dad”

Orlaith: “You wouldn’t tell Lynn?”

Amy: “God no, they would judge me, think its wrong and just about sex, that I am sleeping with these men that I don’t know. But I joke about it with girls from netball, and people on my course, I am pretty open about it there, but I guess it depends whoit is.”

This series of quotes would infer that there is a level of paranoia that is concurrent with Internet dating and stems from an individual’s perception that others would not view themeans used to meet a partner as being legitimate or bona fide way to facilitate a relationship. There is also a particular stigma attached to dating applications such as a Tinder, as society views it more as a way to have ‘no strings attached’ sex rather than begin a serious relationship, which in turn may add to the paranoia one would feel when telling someone how they met their muse.

2. The business of Love

The idea of love becoming a business is similar to that presented by Illouz, who argued that love becomes a commodity,this is a point I mention in my literature review within the section ‘love on the internet’, a summation of this point is that the Internet has turned dating into a competitive market which forces the individual to think of themselves as a commodity to be consumed. However, while I agree with this point and will provide an argument that supports it, I would like to champion her point and argue that love has become a business, with romance in modernity likening a transaction, rather than the spontaneity that is so readily accustomed withadoration.

Firstly I would like to argue that love has become a market, this is the aforementioned point that is similar to Illouz’s, the popularity of dating websites in modernity has led to intimacy becoming a service and the formation of a market economy of love. Individuals become a commodity that they are


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370attempting to sell to the highest bidder and in return they are seeking the best potential return for their investment.

In relation to trying to market themselves, Ben from the male group said this:

“You know, it’s a case of having a few good pics and a funny but interesting bio, its like bait isn’t it? I mean you aren’t going to catch anything without something for them to take a fancy to, you could be the best looking guy in the world, but with just a few pictures and a bio people won’t want to match you, you have to show people that you are a catch without meeting them”

The idea of marketing oneself was also present in the female focus group when choosing to like or dislike a potential partners profile as Clara infers when outlining her Tinder procedure:

“I just swipe left through the profiles, not really bothering to look at the information unless they are attractive, and then they get a right swipe… I am quite objective, in that they have to be attractive in at least 3 pictures and an interesting bio before I consider them.”

So individuals are attempting to market themselves through thedeployment of an interesting and appealing profile, thus turning themselves into a commodity and in doing so are endeavoring to seek the best option they can find and in doingso have to turn themselves into a commodity that is sought after.

However, if one does get a ‘match’ or begin a chat with another individual, these online interactions are often banal monotonous conversations that have a routine like format, similar to that of a business transaction.

This is a point made by Lloyd in the male focus group:

“I never really got into chatting to people on Tinder, I could do it in real life and stuff,but I find it is just the same small talk with every person that you meet, and that doesn’t really interest me, it is the same couple of pictures and then the same questions, I don’t see the appeal myself”

Clara and Amy from the female focus group stated:

Clara: “Sometimes it is really boring, the same questions about getting to know someone over and over again.”


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370Amy: “How old are you? What do you do? Do you like it? Where do you live? Blah blah blah” Clara: “I mean it is just dull.”

Thus, we would have to argue that due to the nature of dating applications and the methods they employ to connect individuals can often lead to boring and limited conversationsrevolving around attempting to get to know one another and while this is present real world dating the plurality, routineand continuity of the environment of these conversations makesthe swapping of personal information seem like a business deal, banal, tedious and all too familiar.

The idea that interactions via Internet dating services are routinized and therefore boring does not bode well for the longevity of loose romantically inclined conversations, as Clara from the female focus group points out when she highlights what happens if the conversation does stagnate intoboredom:

“Plus, if it ever gets to that stage you can just move onto another, or just continue swiping.”

Or as Matt from the male focus group said:

“I mean that is the best thing, you don’t have to stay and talk to someone, you can just easily move on if someone does get boring or you get bored”

The idea of only loose couplings being formed between individuals and thus are easily broken alludes to romance now being a market economy, as one symptom of such an economic system is the idea of free choice.

Zoe in the female focus group highlights these loose bonds when she states:

“Why would you stay and talk to someone that you find boring, there are so many other people to chat to, or other matches to make.”

The economic notion of freedom of choice depends on market competition, and seeing as dating in modernity is such a saturated market with a plethora of potential partners accessible through various means and some at tips of a lonesome individuals fingers, this notion of free choice is


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370very much apparent. Internet dating brings with it choice, as Matt from the male group highlights:

“You have so many options available to you, you can meet so many different people or chat to so many different people, so why would you settle for something that wasn’t right, I mean you can easily find someone else that is more interesting, or better looking or what ever, that’s the perk, it is just easy”

So with Internet dating comes the idea of free choice, an individual can pick and choose who he or she wants to spend time and effort into pursuing and cut loose those that aren’t worth it or that have begun to bore them. It is similar to theideas presented by Baumann, with love in modernity being aboutloose bonds (2003). From the above-mentioned three points, thecommodification of love, the monotony of meetings and the ideaof free choice, we are able to establish that the spontaneity of romance doesn’t transcend the popularity and proliferation of Internet dating and the perhaps the best metaphor to describe this shift is that love is now a business, with individuals seeking the best option available to them while trying to get the best deal for themselves. Love becomes something to be consumed and the individual becomes a commodity.

3. The desirable self

My Grandmother, as I am sure most Grandmothers did, always used to tell me that true beauty wasn’t skin deep, and the prettiest and most sought after women are those with the kindest hearts, she used to say ‘Gus that is what you want my boy, a truly pretty woman’. Now while most children have engrained in them that you fall in love with personality and not beauty from a young age through various mediums, the most notable being Disney films with an unsightly yet intriguing hero at its center, internet dating does not care for beauty that is more than skin deep, it promotes and relies on vanity and the societally held ideals of what is deemed attractive.

This is apparent from Ben’s statement in the male focus group:

“For me personally it is about looks, I’m not going to like a err non attractive girls profile or talk to her if one of my friends has matched her. I mean it just puts looks above everything else, it would be interesting if you didn’t see the person until you matched them, but yeah looks are everything in online dating. If you aren’t attractiveyou don’t really have a hope”


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370Similarly Orlaith from the female group said this:

“No one is going to initial swipe right if someone isn’t attractive regardless of their bio, its funny as while it makes it all about being attractive it makes it unattractive at the same time. Internet dating and tinder in particular is so superficial”

Therefore from the above quotes we can establish that whether an individual is deemed attractive or not has a tremendous effect on their usage of internet dating application and ones looks become the be all and end all of their success. It movesbeauty from being skin deep to making it paramount in ones quest through online dating.

More over, as well dating applications promoting vanity, thereis also a sense that you are able unable to convey your true personality through them. This means that individuals may manipulate themselves to present a self that is desirable. As Zoe from the female group outlines:

“I don’t know whether it is actually possible to convey your actual self, how can you portray yourself online? You don’t really get a sense of whom anyone is.”

This quote shows us that it is nigh on impossible to present an accurate representation of oneself online and that you are unable to truly trust that someone is exactly who they say they are, not in terms of creating a false identity, but in conveying a false desirable personality

This idea of a false presentation or an inability to present oneself, is similar to notion of ‘performance’ that Goffman outlines within his dramatical framework. Goffman argues that individuals ‘perfrom’ a certain act that is dependent on who is observing their activity (1959). This activity may or may not be a representation of ones actual self. As Orlaith highlights, when interacting with someone you don’t know you ‘perform’:

“You kind of present the ideal person that you want to be, like you sort of lie, but not really, as its you, but just a erm perfect you. The guys do it as well, no one is going to be 100% genuine, they want to present a desirable self”

Therefore, we see that the interactions facilitated by dating applications, plentiful they might be, are often false with individuals presenting a fabricated representation of themselves that they perceive to be desirable to the person they are interacting with. The want to convey a hyper version


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370of themselves, the way they would wish themselves to be seen in society, they create a desirable self. So dating within modernity couples beauty with deception, as individuals try toconvey they have both physical beauty and an attractive personality therefore making it an ugly affair.

4. More meetings, less love

While modern manifestations of dating facilitate meetings and interaction, the also debilitate love. It is now easier than ever to find a potential partner, with this being one of the effects of the proliferation of dating applications, somehow though it would appear to be harder to find someone to fall inlove with, the majority of bonds made through such methods as Tinder are fragile.

This a point that is apparent from the male focus group, Luke stated:

“You just get inundated with so many profiles and there is so much choice, that sometimes you just want to carry on swiping or find someone else to chat to rather than sticking with a person you have. Its kind of addictive, once you have a taste for it, you want to just carry on doing it”

Tinder also promotes plurality, as is highlighted in this passage from the female focus group:

Clara: “I don’t mind if one person doesn’t message me back as there are always more.”

Amy: “I think this, but it’s more the saying ‘plenty more fish in the sea’ (laughs) and the sea is right there, you can always go back to it.”

Zoe: “I agree, why would you stay and talk to someone that you find boring, there are so many other people to chat to, or other matches to make” So the plurality and ease of access that makes Tinder so popular is also the cause of the fragile bonds that it forges between matches. The relative ease, or the perceived relative ease to find a better or more attractive partner result in users getting bored or not bothering to create strong foundations.

Moreover, while users of Tinder see it as a legitimate method of meeting individuals, there is dispute as to whether it is avalid means of meeting someone to fall in love with. Although


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370this is linked paranoia as I outlined at the start of the chapter, it is also due to the shared belief that Tinder promotes plurality and non-committed relationships. This meansthat dating applications do not conform to traditionally romantic ideals. Support for this point comes from Orlaith in the female group:

“Yeah but I want the romantic idea, Tinder, or Happn, or what ever aren’t romantic, they are seedy… I wouldn’t want to start a relationship with someone I met online, ornot through a dating app, I just don’t know whether I would trust them, plus I want the idea of meeting some for the first time to be for real, not through a profile.”

This insight, as given by Orlaith, underpins just how individuals don’t see these mobile Internet dating applications as valid means of seeking legitimate love, but rather they are there to form breakable loose sexual bonds. These bonds go against traditional romantic conventions and thus result in the use of such applications being seen as illegitimate means of starting committed relationships.

Thus, as we can see Tinder promotes plurality due to the vast amounts of interactions that the application makes possible, but it also endorses loose bonds due to this plurality and theease of access to further potential partners. Both of these goagainst traditionally held notions of romance and can be considered as partly responsible as to why Internet dating cannot be considered romantic. So within modern society we have the potential to have various romantic encounters, but due to this nature of how we find these encounters the longevity and likelihood of forming necessary bonds is highly unlikely, modernity brings with it romantic use by dates and with accessibility of finding a partner comes the accessibility of finding a new partner.


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Chapter 5:Discussion & Conclusion

The Unromantic Era

The work of Evans (2002) and Baumann (2003) strongly suggest that love is an ever-changing emotion, which has historical foundations and has transcended every single societal change within contemporary society, but as society has changed so to has the way that love is thought of and sought, but it remainsthought of and highly sought after. So what I feel that my research shows that the wide scale proliferation and wide scale usage of mobile dating applications such as Tinder demonstrate a shift in society that has occurred as by productof modernity and in turn has challenged romantic ideologies. Romantic ideologies that were formed as a by-product of literature and culture that appeared during the romantic era in the 19th century. I would argue that mobile dating applications juxtapose these views, and are symbolic of the new age of unromanticism that we are now living in, it promotes plurality, limits the self to a commodity and festersinsecurity. I feel that my research highlights this, as I shall now attempt to present through discussing the aims of this research. I had three aims as outlined in my introduction.

My first aim was to establish whether the popularity and presence of Tinder had altered individual’s perception of relationships. In regards to this research statement I would have to argue yes, I feel that Tinder has altered the way individuals interact with love and romance. This is due to it festering a paranoia within society, this unease accompanies the accessibility and plurality that makes Tinder so popular. This insecurity comes as there is an underlying sense that either party in a relationship can be easily replaced due to the saturation of the dating market. This means that neither member wants to form too strong an attachment in case they gethurt. These weak bonds in turn make any relationship unstable due to a lack of commitment, which in turn undercuts the traditional romantic notion of ‘till death do us part’, society is now moving from a monogamous one to a polyamourous one.

My second goal was to uncover whether the proliferation of mobile based dating applications, such as Tinder highlights that love in modernity is something to be consumed and the


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370individual becomes a commodity. Again I would have to highlight that my research agrees with this point as applications like Tinder have turned dating into a market withthe individual attempting to sell themselves for the best possible return. To do so individuals have to present themselves as desirable, so added impetus is placed on vanity and presenting the self in a way that is deemed attractive.

My third aspiration was to ascertain how individuals used Internet dating and the feelings they had for this contemporary form of dating. My research highlights that theseapps don’t merely serve romantic notions but they also resolveissues of boredom with some participants using them to cull time. However, there is a wide acceptance that they are a legitimate means of facilitating interaction, although contrastingly they are not seen as a legitimate resource for starting a relationship due to them being viewed as seedy and going against traditional romantic ideals as they only initiate loose bonds. So Tinder is not seen as way of startinga relationship, but it is used rather to form several loose romantic bonds, which are indicative of the consumer culture we now live.

So, from my research, it can be argued that the presence and the proliferation of mobile based dating applications would indicate we are now in the mist of an unromantic era, and the argument put forward by Buamann in ‘Liquid love’, was extremely prescient. Applications such as Tinder are the pinnacle of the fluid romantic connections he sited, but more than that, they also indicate the bleak reality of life in modern society, the incessant vanity, the need to validate ones own desirability, the commodification of ones sexuality and perhaps most pertinently the meaningless interactions thatcharacterize a society dominated by social media. I don’t feel that Tinder has changed love, but I do feel that its presence has made it harder to ascertain. Mobile dating allowsfor plurality, but it doesn’t allow for severity, it has turned romance into a game, something to be enjoyed fleetinglyand in excess.

Conclusion

The major issue that I could fathom from conducting my research is that I am attempting to gain an insight into a metanarrative of social life using a snapshot study. Love is akey part to any modern society, and yet I am trying to make


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370deductions based on the findings of from six 30 minute long focus groups, with participants from a narrow demographic. This ultimately means that my research is lacking in generalizability, as my findings will not be an accurate representation of wider society, they are lacking in applicability as I am sure that if I conducted my finding using a different demographic or a geographical location my findings would differ. However, I do feel that it is an accurate representation of how British students aged between 18 and 22 feel about contemporary romance and mobile dating applications.

Whilst conducting my focus groups, I found that the female group was considerably more open and willing to converse more freely than the male focus group, they also ventured further afield with their discussion, for instance the average male focus group lasted approximately 15 minutes, compared to the female group which lasted 30. This may be that the old gender stereotype of females talking more than males, but I feel thatthere was also a refusal to talk openly about relationships and to discuss how they feel about love and romance, which again is an acceptance of gender roles, with males not deemingit suitable to be emotional or open.

This could potential be a point that lead to further research,as it would be interesting to look at gender differences in regards to love in modernity and compare how each groups viewsdiffers to the others in relation to mobile dating applications. I have already mentioned that it would be intriguing to see the results that a contrastingly different sample gathered. My findings mentioned a generational difference in ideas of intimacy in modernity; it would of interest to see whether this was the case.

Also, where my study was a continuation of research into love,intimacy and romance, it was the same time a starting point toassess the role that mobile based dating applications have in altering these three important concepts. However it was only astarting point, so I feel that larger wider scale research will be beneficial and allow for a greater understanding of what I have outlined within this piece.

If I were to conduct this research again like I just mentioned, I would attempt to do it on a wider scale using a wider demographics and a greater sample. However, this is potentially wildly ambitious for an undergraduate


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370dissertation. More realistically then, I think that having an individual document there usage of Tinder in the form of a diary entry, so outlining their motivations, interactions and potential meetings, would allow for real understanding of how individuals use these mobile dating applications.


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Appendix

1. Bibliography

Bauman, Z. (2003) Liquid love: On the Frailty of Human Bonds1st edn. United Kingdom: POLITY PRESSBarthes, R. (2002) A Lover’s Discourse (Vintage Classics). United Kingdom: Vintage ClassicsBeck-Gernsheim, E. and Beck, U. (1995) The normal chaos of love. United Kingdom: Cambridge, UK : Polity Press ; 1995.Blumer, H. (1986) Symbolic interactionism: perspective and method. 1st edn. Berkeley: University of California PressBrym, R. and Lenton, R. (no date) Love Online: A Report on Digital Datingin Canada. Available at: http://www.corante.com/dating/files/loveonline.pdf (Accessed: 17 February 2015)Brym, R. (no date) Love at First Byte: Internet Dating in Canada. Availableat: http://www.polsci.chula.ac.th/krisana/Reading_Materials/Online_Dating/Chapter33Online.pdf (Accessed: 17 February 2015)De Munck, C. V. (1998) ‘Romantic Love and Sexual Behaviour: Perspectives from the Social Sciences.’, Westport: Praegar,Edgell, S., Hetherington, K. and Warde, A. (1997) Consumption Matters: The Production and Experience of Consumption. Edited by Kevin Hetherington Edgell. 1st edn. United Kingdom: Wiley, John & Sons, IncorporatedEvans, M. (2002) Love, an unromantic discussion. United Kingdom: Wiley, John & Sons, IncorporatedEvans, S. (2012) ‘Love with a perfect stranger: Romance and resilience in online dating.’, PsycCRITIQUES, 57doi: 10.1037/a0030802Gallant, M. J. and Kleinman, S. (1983) ‘Symbolic Interactionism vs. Ethnomethodology’, Symbolic Interaction, 6(1), pp. 1–18. doi: 10.1525/si.1983.6.1.1Giddens, A. (1992) The Transformation of Love and Intimacy . Stanford University PressGoffman, E. (1990) The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. 1990th edn. London: Penguin BooksHollander, J. (2004) ‘The Social Contexts of Focus Groups’, Journal of Contemporary Ethnography, 33(5), pp. 602–637. doi: 10.1177/0891241604266988Hopkins, P. (2007) Thinking critically and creatively about focus groups. Available at: http://www.ericlaurier.co.uk/Teach/page3/downloads/files/Hopkins_creatively.pdf (Accessed: 3 March 2015)


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370Illouz, E. (2007) COLD INTIMACIES: THE MAKING OF EMOTIONAL CAPITALISM. United Kingdom: Cambridge, UK ; Polity Press, c2007.Illouz, E. (2012) Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation. United Kingdom: BLACKWELL PUBLJamieson, L. (1997) Intimacy: Personal Relationships in Modern Societies. 1st edn. United Kingdom: Cambridge : Polity Press ; 1998.Jeffries, S. (1990). Anticlimax: A Feminist Perspective on the Sexual Revolution. Australia: Spinifex PressKrueger, R. and Casey, M. A. (2008) Focus groups: a practical guide for applied research. 4th edn. United States: SAGE Publications IncLuhmann, N., Gaines, J. and Jones, D. (1998) Love as Passion: The Codification of Intimacy (Cultural Memory in the Present Series). United States:Stanford University PressMatt, S. and Stearns, P. (2013) Doing Emotions History. United States: University of Illinois PressMorgan, D. (1997) Planning Focus Groups: v. 2: Planning Focus Groups. United States: SAGE Publications IncMorgan, D. (1997) The Focus Group Guidebook: v. 1: Focus Group Guidebook. United States: Sage Publications, IncMorgan, D. (1997) The Focus Group Guidebook: v. 1: Focus Group Guidebook. United States: Sage Publications, IncOrr, A. (no date) Meeting, Mating, and Cheating. Available at: http://www.nhmnc.info/wp-content/uploads/fbpdfs2014/Meeting-Mating-and-Cheating-by-Andrea-Orr-The-Real-Deal-On-Internet-Dating.pdf (Accessed: 17 February 2015)Rabiee, F. (2005) Focus-group interview and data analysis.Reich, W. (1975) The Sexual Revolution. United States: Pocket BooksRobson, C. (1993) Real world research: a resource for social scientists and practitioner-researchers. United Kingdom: Oxford : Blackwell, 1993.Robson, C. and Robson, P. (2002) Real world research: a resource for social scientists and practitioner-researchers. 22nd edn. Oxford, MA: Blackwell PublishingRobson, C. and Robson, P. (2002) Real world research: a resource for social scientists and practitioner-researchers. 22nd edn. United Kingdom: Wiley, John & Sons, IncorporatedSanger, T. and Taylor, Y. (2013) Mapping Intimacies: Relations, Exchanges, Affects. United Kingdom: Palgrave MacmillanSeale, C. (2004) Researching society and culture. 2nd edn. United Kingdom: SAGE Publications LtdSilverman, D. (2004) Qualitative research: theory, method and practice. 2ndedn. United Kingdom: SAGE Publications LtdTinder: The Online Dating App Everyone’s Talking About (2015)William, S. (1996) Postmodern sexualities. 1st edn. United Kingdom:Taylor & Francis, Inc.


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Consent Form

Information Sheet for ParticipantsA study of the changing nature of romantic relationships within modernity in relation to the popularity of dating sites.My Research aim and purpose:I aim to look at the rising popularity of online dating sites/apps (specifically tinder) and how the increase in usage of such technology highlights a shift from romanticnotions of relationships, intimacy and love towards more anti monogamous ideas of ‘throwaway’ relationships that are a symptom of modernity as many modern theorists have argued, such as Giddens, Beck and Baumann.

Why have I been invited to participate?

My research aims to investigate the usage of dating sitesand whether there are shifting ideologies of love, relationships and intimacy among those aged under 25.

What will happen if I do take part?

You will either be asked to fill out a questionnaireor to partake in an in-depth interview.

If you are selected for the questionnaire I will explain to you my research and answer any questions you may have, and then ask you to complete a questionnaire, once you have completed this hand it back to me.

If you are selected for the in-depth interview, I will outline the aim of my research and my research purpose while answering any questions that you may have, once this is completed we will establish a mutual convenient date and location to conduct the interview.

The interview itself will take no longer than an hour and will ask you about your usage and experience of dating sites. In addition to this I will also enquire about your understanding of romantic notions such as love, relationships and


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intimacy and whether you feel there has been a shiftin ideology surrounding these concepts.

I shall be recording the interview, so that I can transcribe it at a later date.

What are the benefits of taking part?There are no direct benefits to taking part.


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CONSENT FORM FOR PARTICIPANTSA study of the changing nature of romantic relationshipswithin modernity in relation to the popularity of datingsites.

The Department of Sociology, Goldsmiths College, University ofLondon attach high priority to the ethical conduct of research.Alongside this form, you should read the Information Sheet and/orlisten to the explanation about the research provided by the personorganising the research. If you have any questions regarding theresearch or use of the data collected through the study, please donot hesitate to ask the researcher. We therefore ask you toconsider the following points before agreeing to take part in thisresearch:

This research is being undertaken for the purposes of anundergraduate dissertation

The research will be conducted by Gus Douglas The interview will be recorded. All data will be treated as personal under the 1998 Data

Protection Act, and will be stored securely. Anonymity will be maintained and it will not be possible to

identify you from the resulting dissertation If you decide at any time during the research that you no longer

wish to participate in this project, you can withdrawimmediately without giving any reason.

You will be given a copy of this consent form to keep and referto at any time.

By signing this form you assign copyright of your contribution tothe researcher. This excludes visual data supplied by you.

Feedback will be provided to all participants at by the end ofthe project.

If you have any concerns about the conduct of the research, pleasecontact the department’s ethics officer Dr. Michaela Benson([email protected]).

I confirm that I have freely agreed to participate in the [addtitle of research project] research project. I have been briefed onwhat this involves and I agree to the use of the findings asdescribed above. I understand that the material is protected by acode of professional ethics.

Participant Signature:


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mailto:[email protected]


Name: Date:

I confirm, for the project team, that we agree to keep theundertakings in this contract.

Researcher Signature:

Name: Date:


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Questions for focus groups

Session 1:

1. Talk me through how you use Tinder?

2. Why do you use Tinder?

3. What’s your experience of using Tinder?

4. Do you tell people you use Tinder?

5. Have you ever met anyone through tinder?

6. What’s you experience of using Tinder?

7. Would you tell people that you use Tinder?

8. Why do you use Tinder?


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Session 2:

1. If you did start a relationship with someone that you met on tinder would you tell people how you met?

2. Do you see it as a way of finding love or starting a serious committed relationship?

3. Is it possible to achieve love through through dating apps?

4. Do you feel that online dating has made love about consumerism?

5. Does the idea of this worry you? The economic notion of free choice within dating?

6. Has online dating helped you? Or hindered you?


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Transcription with codingCoding Key:______ = Objectification______ = Commodification______ = Plurality______ = Presentation of the self______ = Paranoia Session 1: Female focus group

1. Talk me through how you go about using Tinder? CH: I just swipe left through the profiles, not really bothering to look at the information unless they are attractive, and then they get a right swipe.

What is it you are looking for? CH: I am quite objective, in that they have to be attractive in at least 3 pictures and an interesting bio before I consider them.

ZE: So you are quite picky then!

CH: Maybe too much (laughs).

OV: I agree with CH, if they aren’t good looking I don’t want to swipe them right, and if they don’t have a funny bio, or unusual picture or an interesting profile, if they aren’t set apart then I don’t really want to know.

ZE: I just swipe everyone right, doesn’t waste time, and then you can have fun chatting to those that are interesting. I wouldn’t say I am looking for anything in particular, but I wouldn’t consider meeting someone if they weren’t attractive.

AM: Yeah, but that’s not as fun, you do that method if you actually want to talk to someone, most of the time I use tinder when I am bored so want to look at everyone’s profile. Happn is always good if you want to look at profiles as you can potentially see someone that you have seen that day which is spooky.

CH: It is addictive also, you can’t just swipe a few times, you have to finish the set that you get given, and often they are never ending, it is like a game.

OV: It is so addictive.


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2. Why do you use Tinder? So it’s a case of using Tinder while you bored?

OV: Predominantly yes, if I was ever bored I would scroll through to kill time, or look at peoples profiles, it is interesting to see what they put on there. I never thought, orlets just browse through tinder unless I had exhausted all other time killers, but then when I go on it, I struggle to come off.

ZE: No, I find it fun to chat to people and to just browse through it, although sometimes it is out of boredom, if you are waiting around or on the bus it is a good time killer, andit can interesting at the same time.

CH: It is a bit like other social media, in that you subconsciously start going on it without realising that you are going on it. If ever I am bored at the lib I just unknowingly go on tinder and only realise what I am doing after a while.

AM: Kind of like a routine, you check your insta, your twitter, your facebook and then your tinder and your happn. And that’s a common form of procrastination. I once opened it straight after closing it (General nodding in agreement)

3. What’s you experience of using Tinder? OV: I have spoken to a few people from Tinder, but I have never been on any ‘dates’ (Communal sniggering), most of the time I get bored of talking to them, and don’t really want to meet any of them.

CH: Sometimes it is really boring, the same questions about getting to know someone over and over again.

AM: How old are you? What do you do? Do you like it? Where do you live? Blah blah blah

CH: Its is just dull sometimes. Plus, if it ever gets to that stage you can just move onto another, or just continue swiping.

Does this ever decide whether you continue to talk to someone?The fact you can always find someone else?


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370CH: Yeah I guess, I don’t think that I will ignore them, but say I don’t mind if one person doesn’t message me back as there are always more.

AM: I think this, but it’s more the saying ‘plenty more fish in the sea’ (laughs) and the sea is right there, you can always go back to it.

ZE: I agree, why would you stay and talk to someone that you find boring, there are so many other people to chat to, or other matches to make.

4. Have you ever met anyone through tinder?

AM: Yeah, once (nervous giggle).

How was that?AM: erm, yeah a little strange, we went for a drink at a bar just down the road. It was just a weird experience in that youdon’t know the person, and it literally could be anyone.

CH: Yeah is quite nervous if you are there first or while you walk in you don’t really know what to expect, as AM said they could be anyone so it is bit disconcerting.

Were you worried about whom you were going to meet and thatthey weren’t going to be who they said they were, they

depicted a caricature of themselves?

ZE: It is a little worrying, but I think that is just part of Internet dating, I don’t know whether it is actually possible to convey your actual self, how can you portray yourself online? You don’t really get a sense of whom anyone is.

AM: I was more worried that I would come across differently, that I had created this fictitious person that wouldn’t correspond to who I actually was, while doing it you want to try and make the person on the other end of like you, so you pander to them.

OV: You kind of present the ideal person that you want to be, like you sort of lie, but not really, as its you, but just a erm perfect you. The guys do it aswell, no one is going to be 100% genuine, they want to present a desirable self


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370CH: No, I am definitely more worried that they will be a bit of a freak, I don’t want to be stuck with them, I mean you don’t really know anyone online and everyone is going to want to make you like them and seems so generic, that’s why you need to meet people as you don’t actually get a look at who they are. You get to see who they want you to think they are, its generic, they want to seem funny and caring. Again it is boring sometimes.

5. Do you tell people you use Tinder? AM: Hahaaha no, actually I guess, it depends who it is. I meanI wouldn’t tell my mum or Dad.

OV: you wouldn’t tell Lynn?

AM: God no, they would judge me, think its wrong and just about sex, that I am sleeping with these men that I don’t know. But I joke about it with girls from netball, and people on my course, I am pretty open about it there, but I guess it depends who it is.

CH: Yeah it depends who it is, I think people older than us just see it as ‘not the done thing’ you don’t go and meet random boys that you have met online, you need to know them a little, or at least met them in person. With people our age itis different, they understand the nature of things now and howsociety is and how people meet each other. I mean my mum stilldoesn’t understand Facebook, or like the fact I am ‘friends’ with people that I am a not actually friendly with.

ZE: My Mum knows what it is, and asked me if I had ever used it, but I got so embarrassed, its just weird to talk to about with your parents and to those who don’t understand it as it just seems sordid.

6. Would you start a relationship with someone you met online?

CH: Me personally no, I don’t know why, I just would feel uneasy about it, the fact that I didn’t really know them.

ZE: Yeah but you would get to know them, a couple of drinks and spending time with them.

OV: Yeah but I want the romantic idea, Tinder, or Happn, or what ever aren’t romantic, they are seedy.


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370CH: yeah but I didn’t really know them before, do you understand, they could have been anyone, and I think that at the back of my mind there will always be the sense that I met him online and he could easily find someone else, they could just log back on and match someone within a couple of swipes.

OV: I wouldn’t want to start a relationship with someone I metonline, or not through a dating app, I just don’t know whetherI would trust them, plus I want the idea of meeting some for the first time to be for real, not through a profile.

AM: That’s silly, I personally don’t have a problem with it, its just another way to meet someone, a modern social way to meet someone, you have the ability to meet loads of different people and increase your chance of finding the ‘one’ why not use it?

You mention the idea of the ‘one’; do you feel this is real?

OV: absolutely, yep, one hundred per cent, there is someone out there for everyone, and at some point you will come acrossthem, I just don’t know if you need dating apps to do this, and the choice is so large that you could miss them as you don’t really get to know them, or if they are using dating apps they don’t subscribe to the idea of the one, as they are looking for convenience and multiple options.

CH: I don’t really believe in the one, I think there are rightpeople for certain times, and each relationship is symbolic ofthis, but I think that Tinder or most internet dating, cant beused to start relationships, or proper ones.

ZE: I don’t have an issue with possibly using tinder to start a relationship, it is just convenient, as AM said, there are so many people that use it no a days you would be limiting yourself if you didn’t use it, it is not only about sex, thereare people on there that want to start a proper relationship

CH: Also, I wouldn’t start a relationship with someone online,as there is the chance that they could still be using such apps, I don’t know if I would trust that.

AM: I know what you mean, I don’t know whether it is true or not, but there is that widely said example of someone’s friend, who was on a date and the guy was using tinder while


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The ‘Tinderfication’ of LoveStudent Number - 33268370in the toilet (laughs) I just don’t know if I can trust someone I met on there to be loyal, they could just find someone else. But I guess that is the same with all types of dating now, people can just log in and be in contact with numerous numbers of girls.

Is that something that worries you about normal dating?

AM: Yes, well sort of, I guess it depends how much you trust someone doesn’t it, I mean, if it was a new relationship I think I would be worried, but once you are over that initial stage and get committed I don’t think it is an issue. AlthoughI guess that it is so easy now for someone to find someone else, or be in contact with someone else, there are hundreds of people available.

CH: Not really, but it is now very easy for people to find someone else, I don’t think relationships are as long as they used to be.

ZE: I’ve been bored of a guy that I am seeing before and used Tinder to chat to other people, but I don’t feel that it is any different now than it used to be, its just a case of we now have fast means of meeting people, and it is easily do able, I mean there are loads of potential people on apps, and that use apps now a days, I don’t know any single person that hasn’t got or used tinder.


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The 'Tinderfication' of Love

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Transcript of The 'Tinderfication' of Love