S ething smells fishy ith Wespac's new plan ig MDX mouths off ...

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S ething smells fishy ith Wespac's new plan

ig MDX mouths off in a humble sort ol way

1 Professor finds lost play by William Shakesp ar

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April 5-11, 2006 · Volume 16, Number 14 · www.honoluluweekly.com

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Letters

Friends of democracy & demagogy The tirade titled "UH isn't a democracy" against University of Hawai 'iManoa defenders against militarism (Letters, 3/29), as embodied by the University Affiliated Research Center and the using of a state university for military research, reflects a dominant culture not unique to 21st Century America.

The fascism of the 1930s thrived on the governmental collusion between militarism, corporate capitalism and monoculturalism.

The letter writer states that UH "isn't a democracy" nor should it be. Those statements reveal the basic problem: the conflict between those advocating popular rule, or democracy, versus those who wish to funit power and traditions for the benefit of a minority.

HONOLULU

Weekly Vol. 16, No. 14

April 5-11, 2006

Our Mission: To create a high-quality, profitable weekly O'ahu newspaper that provides its readers with independent, entertaining, provocative coverage examining issues, arts and events in a visually striking format.

Publisher Laurie V. Carlson EdltOI' Chris Haire SeniOI' EditOI' Kawehi Haug Calendar EditOI' Becky Maltby EditOI' at Large Catharine Lo Fllm Critic Bob Green Book EdltOI' Joel Harold Contributing Writers Cecil Adams, Andrea Baer, Rob Brezsny, Justin Burnett, Joan Conrow, Timothy Dyke, Stephen Fox, Wing Ho, Sue Kiyabu, Marcia Morse, Ryan Senaga, Shayne Starnbler, Michelle Takiguchi, Steve Wagenseller, John Wythe White, Jamie Winpenny Editorial Intern Jarrett Keohokalole Production & Design Manager Ilsa Enomoto Production Assistant Zachary Opaskar Contributing Photographers Malia Leinau, Chris McDonough, Shayne Stambler, Cover Design Ilsa Enomoto Cartoonists & Illustrators Max Cannon, Lloyd Dangle, John Pritchett, Slug Signorino, Tom Tomorrow

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ISSN #1057-414X Entire contents Ci 2006 by Honolulu Weekly Inc. AIi rights reserved. Manuscripts should be accompanied by a selfaddressed stamped envelope: HonoluJu Weekly assumes no respo11sibilityfor unsolicited material. Honolulu Weekly is m·ailablefree of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased at 011r office. No perso,i may, without permission of Honolulu Weekly, take more than one copy of each Honolulu Weekly issue.

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INDEPENDENT, LOCALLY OWNED

UH is our only state universitythat is, an institution created for the local community due to the need for an educated populace for a functional democracy. Thus, there is a public ownership that clashes with ideologists who believe everything should be privatized to facilitate profits and put control into the. hands of a few.

Of course, democracy can be a slow process when considering a diversity of interests, including disenfranchised classes, cultures and even generations yet unborn-some which will be economically or ideologically conscripted to fight for "benevolent dictatorships."

I'm not writing so much to defend "Ikaika Hussey and his friends" as the letter writer snidely puts it, even though he is a beloved bruddah, but in .defense of all friends of democracy.

Throughout history, apologists have lambasted those who have fought for equality, justice or peace. Those who have fought for equal representation, livable work pay and conditions, civil rights, sovereignty, non-discrimination, etc., have always faced opposition by -those who wish to conserve power to the traditional holders.

The author's popular statement "if you don't love it, leave" reflects an ancient contempt for democracy. Totalitarianism cannot tolerate diversity, a product of nature, and funits choices as simplistic and autocratic as "you are either with or against us."

Democracy, when working, is by definition accommodating to a variety of perspectives and sensitive to the masses unlike the self-interested-from minor university boards to heads of states throughout the world.

Pete Shimazaki Doktor MiJ.noa

Dirty water Last week, U. S. PIRG released "Troubled Waters," a new report that reveals that 62 percent of major municipal and industrial facilities around the country dump more pollution into our waterways than is allowed by Jaw.

Instead of solving water pollution problems, the Bush administration is undermining clean water programs, allowing industries to dump more pollution into our rivers, lakes and streams.

I call on Hawai 'i's members of Congress to support strong protections for all of America's waters.

Instead of allowing major municipal and industrial facilities to violate the law, members of Congress must suppott strong clean water protections, like the Clean Water Authority Restoration Act which ensures the continued protection of all U.S waters. Polluters must pay.

Nadine Newlight Ha'iku

Ala Moana unsafe My friend had his daughter's 1-year-old birthday Hi 'au at Ala Moana Beach Park in January. He went through the Department of Parks and Recreation to get a permit for that day.

We were on the grass near the 'ewa concessions, and from the beginning we were confronted by homeless asking for food and handouts.

We politely told them we were

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there to have a·baby party, but the badgering continued and increasingly became more hostile to the extent that the police were called and the party had to end early because the guests didn't feel safe. In broad daylight, in the busiest beach park in the state.

Yes, we have a homeless problem, but it's not the one the homeless advocates will have you believe.

Ala Moana park is not safe and hasn't been for years. This is especially true for women and children.

Where does it say the homeless get to hijack city parks and beaches?

They'll tell you the-public and the city are abrupt and insensitive towards them while I've witnessed the exact same behavior from the homeless.

And the taxpayers living at Ala Moana? What percentage do you think actually pay taxes? Unless there is a new tax on shopping carts, I don't think it would be very high.

Unbeknownst to most of the "citizens" of Ala Moana, there is a taxation sliding scale in which people who earn more, pay more taxes. It's part of a social contract that includes helping the homeless but also allows our citizens to enjoy the parks they pay for.

City Spokesperson Bill Brennan summed it up very succinctly when he said the Department of Pii!ks and Recreation is not the department to deal with the homeless.

I lived paycheck to paycheck, ate noodles and peanut butter for more years than I care to remember, but I made it out by looking forward, persevering and working very hard.

Enough with the woe-is-me stories told by the homeless and their . advocates. Do they think they have

a monopoly on loss, poor choices and bad luck? It's what you choose to do after life deals you a bum card that will determine who you are and what your destiny is.

Wave after wave of non-English speaking immigrants who embraced the tenets of personal accountability and hard work will tell you the same thing.

Taggers aren1 artists

Pat Kelly Honolulu

This is a reply .to the 3/29 letter titled "Graffiti can be good" about the virtues of graffiti.

It could probably be easily arranged to have one or two of those graffiti "artists" (a.k.a. "taggers") visit the Jetter writer's property and decorate her residence with their "art."

Barring that, perhaps they could tag a prominent public area near her home, so that it is the first thing she sees on her morning commute.

The application of spray-painted symbols, graphics and other uninspired and unauthorized decoration of public properties is still against the Jaw-it's still called vandalism-and until the Jaw is changed, people who think it's "art" should keep their opinions to themselves, thank you very much.

Paul McRae Hau'ula

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hanalulu diary Clean sweep The city kicks homeless out of parl< with little warning, passes the responsibility

Nowhere in the March 23 press release from City Parks and Recreation Director Lester Chang announcing the nightly clos

ing of Ala Moana Park did it mention the homeless who until Monday, March 27, lived there.

It mentioned that city workers would fill potholes, paint lifeguard towers, prune trees and repair park benches. But not a word was written about the estimated 200 men and

women who called Ala Moana home. It simply mentioned that the park would close each night "to people and vehicles from 10PM to 4AM."

And while Chang claimed that the "temporary nightly closures" were taking place solely "for some longneeded maintenance," it was clear that the city was determined to solve Ala Moana's homeless problem once and for all. "As city parks director, my concern is for clean, healthy, safe parks for all of the public to enjoy," Chang said.

He later added, "I want it to be safe and inviting for everyone . . . We w.91t to bring the ·sparkle back to one of our crown jewel parks." The

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implication was clear. The homeless were unwanted. The homeless were an eyesore. The homeless were a threat.

Given the short notice, homeless and homeless advocates had little time to react and even less time to plan. The city surely wasn't going to lend them a hand. In the four days from the announcement to the eviction, Mayor Mufi Hannemann and the city didn't as much as utter a peep about what to do about the soon-to-be displaced residents of Ala Moana Park. They too had no plan. But they should have.

Monday evening came, and the homeless were kicked out of the park and set up temporary residence on the sidewalks around Honolulu Hale. Four were arrested. The next

day, perhaps feeling the first effects of a devastating PR disaster, the mayor, who was already catching heat for his decision to dump raw sewage into the Ala Wai Canal, announced that the homeless could set up camp on the grounds of the Honolulu Police Department.

However, the mayor said his solution was only a short-term one and quite simply there was nothing more that he should do. The problem was no longer his. It was Gov. Linda Lingle's to solve. His hands were clean.

Or at least that is what he wants to believe.-Chris Haire

Benefits:

Turtle trouble Should group be allowed to act on a 20-year-old permit?

Four House committees have heard and passed HCR 146, a concurrent resolution "calling for the rigorous reexamination of the develop

ment expansion plan at Turtle Bay Resort due to the passage of time and changed conditions of the North Shore and the island of O'ahu." At issue is the 1986 unilateral agreement by Kuilima Development Company by which they received a special management-area use permit from the city to develop the 880-acre property where the Turtle Bay Resort resides. The plan was created collaboratively with the Kahuku Community Association in the early 1980s as a mechanism for economic revitalization after the closure of the Kahuku Sugar Mill in 1976.

Since the Kuilima Company re.cently applied for subdivision permits indicating they were ready to move forward with the plan, North Shore residents have once again raised the "keep the country, country" flag, citing the potential negative impacts that the proposed develop-

QUICKHRS· If Mayor Mufi Hannemann was a Muppet, he surely wouldn~t be Kermit the Frog, the green-friendly amphibian who is spending his semi-retirement hawking hybrid cars for Ford. Nope, he'd be Oscar the Grouch, a trashcan-loving beastie of indeterminate biological origin. First he nixes a compreltensive curbside recycling program and then he vetoes the Honolulu City Council's decision to close Waimanalo Gulch. Now city council is joining Mufi in the trash heap of our environmental discontent. Last week, council made no attempt whatsoever to override the mayor's veto even though previously they had voted 7-2 in favor of closing the landfill. A quick question for council members: Why the about-face?

ment could have on the community-traffic, environmental destruction, increased property taxes.

Collective interests have formed the Defend O'ahu Coalition, which, according to its website, ostensibly defends "ocean land people." A quick Whois search identifies the apparent owner of www.defendoahucoalition.org as UNITE HERE Local 5, the hotel workers labor union that has been mired in a dispute with Turtle Bay Resort ever since its contract expired in 2002.

Whether the fierce commitment of well-regarded community activists is being usurped to abet the union's ongoing litigation against the resort is one question. Whether KRC should be allowed to act on a 20-year-old permit is another. La'ie real estate agent Choon James told state legislators that it didn't make sense that her permit to build a small stone wall would be revoked if not exercised in 120 days, yet KRC's permit has no expiration date.

Keith K\.Jrahashi, planning consultant for KRC testified that no new

Congratulations are in order for the University of Hawai'iManoa. The Princeton Review, the premier guide to U.S. colleges, named UH-Manoa one of the nation's best value undergraduate institutions. Somebody crank up the school fight song. Oh. What's that you say? UH-Manoa was just one of 150 picked in the best value category. And according to the most recent Princeton Review student survey, the campus was noted in a number of rather embarrassing categories: Dorm Like Dungeons (#2), Professors Make Themselves Scarce (#6), Long Lines and Red Tape (#6), Least Happy Students (#7) and Professors Get Low Marks (#12). Surely, continuing efforts to avoid repairing school buildings, the battle over taro patents, the increase in

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environmental impact statement is necessary, as it simply discloses what the impacts will be, and these impacts have not changed. He also emphasized that variable parts of the plan including infrastructure and traffic analyses have been updated over the years as requested by the city's Department of Planning and Permitting, which submitted testimony opposing the resolution.

In March, the KRC outlined its plans to the Kahuku Community Association, which unanimously reaffirmed the project. Former Kahuku Community Association member, Kahuku resident and KRC project manager Ralph Makaiau testified on behalf of what he called a "silent majority" of "workers who have put their hearts in a 30-year plan."

"We're plantation people who know what we're doing. We're realistic about dealing with what our people need," Makaiau said. '"This is Kahuku' s plan to make it sustainable, and it's not a bad plan."

KRC will make a presentation to the Ko 'olauloa Neighborhood Board Association in Hau'ula on April 13. The concurrent resolution will face the House Finance Committee next week.-Catharine Lo

tuition and the controversy over the UARC will ensure that the school receives better marks in future Princeton Review publications.

The date for the long awaited televised match-up between Sen. Daniel Akaka and Rep. Ed Case has finally been set. Mark your calendars, ladies and gentlemen, for. .. sometime between Sept. 11 and 22. As of press time, Case had agreed to a televised debate sponsored by the Office of Hawaiian Affairs, but Akaka hadn't. On second thought, put away your PDAs and Day Planners. The day and time for the showdown between Dan the Man and Ed the Upstart is about as nebulous as the pull-out date from Iraq. The Democratic Party primary, of course, is still on for Sept. 23.

-Chris Haire

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4 Honolulu Weekly • April 5-11, 2006 • www.honoluluweeldy.com

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A slap.on the wrist

were charged with trafficking Native American cultural items, which under federal law amounts to a misdemeanor.

degree theft, resulting in a class C felony that is punishable by up to five years in prison. Theft in the first degree, which includes the taking of property exceeding $20,000, is a class B felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison.

Federal law~~ on cave robbers of native sites

Recently, U.S.AttomeyEd Kubo announced that two men had been charged with talcing ancient Hawaiian artifacts from

Kanupa cave on the Big Island and attempting to sell them on the black market. Kubo said that in June 2004, Daniel Taylor and John Carta allegedly broke into the cave and made off with 157 artifacts, which they then tried to sell for profit, even posting one artifact for sale on the Internet.

According to the federal indictment, Taylor was successful in selling two artifacts: a kapa or cloth to a tourist for $150, and a bowl to a collector for $2,083. Taylor also attempted to sell a palaoa, or sacred whale-toothed pendant, for $40,000

Had these artifacts been in a private collection, a museum or under the custody of a person rather than being interned in the cave, the violations would have constituted theft. But because the artifacts were stolen from the cave, Taylor and Carta were charged with a misdemeanor, punishable by no more than a year in jail and a $2,000 fine.

"Anyone who dares to enter such a sacred burial site and take anything is nothing more than a grave robber, and be will be treated as such under federal law," Kubo said.

and a bracelet, or kupe'e for $5,600. The total value for the 157 artifacts that were taken is unknown.

The artifacts were originally part of the J.S. Emerson collection, . which were first taken from Kanupa Cave in the late 1800s and sold to museums. In 2003, the items were recovered and returned to the cave where they remained reburied for less than a year before being taken again.

Taylor plead guilty to the charges and Carta's arraignment is scheduled for April 6.-Jarrett Keohokalole

Howeve, that tough talk appears to amount to nothing more than a slap on the wrist. Taylor and Carta

Hawai 'i law states. that thieves who steal property valued at over $300 will be charged with second

ROLL CALL BROWNFIELDS FORUM APRIL 5 The Hawaii State Department of Health, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency and the State Office of Planning are throwing a party, and you're Invited. OK. It's not exactly a party. In fact, it's a pretty somber affair. It's a discussion on contaminated brownflelds. The meeting will Include presentations on "Protecting Innocent Developers from Pollution Liability," "Optimizing Your Assessment and Clean Up Expenditures" and others. No one likes brownflelds. Not brown cows. Not brown birds. Not brown three-eyed, six-legged, two-headed frogs. If you're Interested in learning how brownfields are being redeveloped, then this is the meeting for you. Ala Moana Hotel, 8:15-11:30AM, 441-6655

PERSPECTIVE OF THE PEACEMAKERS APRIL 5-8 Jerry and Sis Levin are looking for a more balanced Middle East policy. One that Isn't as proIsrael as current U.S. policy. One that treats both the Israelis and the Palestinians with respect. One that seeks to bring peace to the Middle East through mediation and nonviolent Intervention. And they know what they're talking about. Sis Is the author of Beirut Diary and a noted mediator and educator. Jerry Is a former CNN reporter who was kidnapped by terrorists In Beirut and later escaped. They recently set their sights on Iraq and are helping to resolve the conflict there through non-violent means. For four days, they will be speaking to Hawal'I residents about their experiences and their plans for peaceful solutions.

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EARTH DAY AT KAWAI NUI MARSH APRIL 8 OK, the planet technically doesn't need saving. It'll do Just fine with or without us. What we need to do Is save ourselves. And the only way to do that Is to make sure our environment stays as clean as Robert Downey Jr. at a treatment center. OK. Cleaner than that. Whether it's keeping our waterways clean or saving the endangered North American liberal, Earth Day Is all about bringing attention to the plight of the planet. Yes, ED 2K6 is still weeks away, but these things take planning. If you're a planner and a doer you might want to stop by the Windward Ahupua'a Alliance's next Earth Day at Kawai Nul Marsh planning meeting. Interested parties need to RSVP by 12PM, April 7. Windward YMCA, 1200 Kailua Rd., Kailua, 12:15-1:30PM, www.waa-hawaii.org 223-5535

IMPACT OF TOURISM ON NATIVE HAWAIIANS APRIL 13 More than 7 mllllon. That's the estimated number of people who visited Hawal'l last year. And their Impact can be felt by more than Just the folks who llve and work In Waikiki. The Native Hawaiian. Hospltallty Association wants to hear from native Hawaiians about how their lives have been Impacted by tourists and their thoughts on the year-round vacation migration. Nanakuli High School, 89-980 Nanakuli Ave., Wai'anae 6:30-8:30PM, www.hawaiiancouncil.org, 521-5011

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MEDIA WATCH The message was loud and clear. It was a rallying cry. A call to arms. In fact, I can see Lee Cataluna right now riding high on a mighty steed, trotting along the edges of Ala Moana Park, with a sword in one hand and a bugle in the other. The first line of her March 28 column said it all: "So where are the regular people supposed to go to the beach?"

Um, Ala Moana Beach Park? According to the always feisty,

always skillful Cataluna, the answer is a resounding, "No." That place is more frightening than the woods leading to the home of Lit -tle Red Riding Hood's bed-ridden grandma. It's scarier than downtown Baghdad. It's more dangerous than MySpace. Why? There be homeless there.

Or at least there were until last Monday, when Mayor Hannemann kicked them out of the park in order to pretty up the place for the mayor's much ballyhooed Centennial Family Festival.

As for any sympathy for the displaced, Cataluna would have little of it. "To be sure, there are many pitiful souls living under the trees in Ala Moana Beach Park, people who lost their footing in the precarious world of gainful employment and self-reliance," the awardwinning columnist says. "But not every homeless person has the same story of cruel fate and few options. Some may have a history

48 million gallons

The amount of raw sewage

dumped in the Ala Wai Canal

"In order for us to move on in some sustainable way with a logical and practical immigration policy, we have to prevent illegal immigration, period."

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of bad choices. Some make a deliberate choice to live off the radar and on the beach. Some started out far away and found that there are a lot worse places to be homeless than Honolulu."

That last sentence suggests something troubling. A possible allusion to an accusation I've beard from more than one person about Honolulu's homeless problem. The idea that homeless shelters on the mainland ship their burdens here. They buy them airline tickets. They book them on cruises. They ship them via FedEx. It's a common complaint made by folks around the U.S. about their local homeless population .. It's an excuse not to address the needs of the indigent. After all, as these citizens might say, they aren't our people. They aren't our problem. They are someone else's, and they've been passed on to us.

Surely, that's not what Lee Cataluna is saying, right. Because if it is, it stinks more than the 48 million gallons of raw sewage that flowed through the Ala Wai.

-Chris Haire

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Environment NOAA

Is fishery management group Wespac making plans to increase fishing in NWHI and ignoring executive orders?

CHRIS HAIRE

Fishing in the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands (NWHI). Former President Bill Clinton doesn't want it. Nei

ther does Gov. Linda Lingle. Rep. Ed Case. The Office of Hawaiian Affairs. The Coral Reef Ecosystem Reserve Advisory Council for the NWHI. Even Zenen Ozoa, one of the fishermen permitted to fish the waters around the NWHI.

Their message: Fishing in the proposei:1 marine sanctuary at the NWHI must not happen.

But the people at the Western Pacific Regional Fishery Management Council (Wespac) don't appear to be listening. They apparently want to increase fishing at the proposed national marine sanctuary in violation of a series of executive orders issued by President Clinton. Those orders began the process by which NWHI may one day become a marine sanctuary, one where the ecology is preserved and animal life protected.

Wespac claims that there are currently 17 permits available-all of them bottomfish permits according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the governmental organization that will oversee the proposed sanctuary. However, Wespac economist Marsha Hamilton says that only eight are active.

In its new plan, while Wespac wants to decrease the number of bottomfish permits from 17 to 14, it appears it wants to increase the number of pelagic permits to three from, well, that number is up for debate.

According to Stephanie Fried of Environmental Defense, the number of permits is presently capped at eight and can't go any higher. "Right now, the only way you can fish up there is if you were grandfathered in and if you had fished up there in the period of 1996-2000. They are proposing increasing the number of people that can go up there and bringing in new people," Fried says. "The way it was set up before, the fishery would have closed through attrition because it's a use-it-or-lose-it permit. If you didn't use it, you lost it and it couldn't be transferred."

Clinton's executive order states that no additional permits "beyond' the number of permits of that type in effect the year preceding the date of this order'' would be permitted. Lat-

er, the document mentions, "There shall be no permits issued for any particular type of fishing for which there were no permits issued in the year preceding the date of this order."

While the language of the executive orders may clearly show to some that no new fishing permits can be issued, Hamilton says the orders aren't quite so crystal. 'The executive orders are not extremely precise," Hamilton says. "I don't think that text was intended to be the text to cover the sanctuary."

With this new plan and at least one other, Wespac appears intent on revising Clinton's orders. But so far, NOAA, the agency in charge of approving the plan, will have none of it. The council's previous plan was rejected by NOAA.

The government organization maintained that Wespac's plan failed "to provide limits or controls necessary to maintain ecosystem integrity."

NOAA may find that Wespac's latest plan isn't much better. In it, the council apparently advocates increasing the number of permits for pelagic fishing.

According to Fried, the number of permits currently available for the fishing of commercial non-longline pelagic fish-tuna, mackerel, wahoo and mahi mahi-amounts to zero. That's right. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Fried says that the only permits actively in use are for bottomfish fishing. Meanwhile, Wespac maintains that there are some pelagic fish permits under the executive orders.

In a Feb. 16 document from Wespac, the group says that when it comes to non-longline commercial pelagic fishing "the number of permits might be set at either one or two? depending on how the phrase 'the year preceding December 4, 2000,' is interpreted."

Is there another assumption one can make from this admission once one takes into account Wespac's new fishery management plan other than that the council wants to increase the number of permits in violation bf executive orders?

But this simply isn't a simple matter of permits. It's a matter of increasing the amount of fish that fisherman can catch and haul back to shore. This is about pounds.

According to the executive order, when it comes to bottomfish fishing, "the annual aggregate level for each permitted bottomfisher shall be that permittee's individual average taken

over the five years preceding December 4, 2000." Fishermen cannot go above this amount. Furthermore, "[t]rolling for pelagic species shall be capped based on reported landings for the year preceding December 4, 2000."

According to the same February 16 document, the five-year average of bottomfish-hapu 'upu 'u (grouper), onaga (ruby snapper), opakapaka (pink snapperMaught in first of the two designated fishing zones amounted to 105,200 pounds. In the second zone the average jumped to 230,800 pounds. Together that's 336,000 pounds.

So what is Wespac's proposed cap in their current fishery plan? That would be 381,500 pounds, a full 45,000 more pounds than the combined five-year averages ofbottomfish catches in both zones. Wespac' s proposed cap is far less than the 448,784 pounds the February Wespac report lists as the NWHI's maximum sustainable yield.

But when it comes to the annual catch of non-longline commercial pelagic fishing, the February document reports a total of 78,400 pounds at · an average of 5,600 pounds per permit. (Hmm. Let's see: 78,400 divided by 14-the number of bottomfish permitsequals, 5,600. Interesting.)

However, the proposed limit set by W espac in their new proposal is significantly more than the total amount of pounds given in the Feb- · ruary report. How about 102,000 pounds more, bringing the cap to a whopping 180,000 pounds.

So what does W espac have to say about what appears to be an effort on its part to increase fishing in the NWHI? According to Hamilton, the fisheries management council is not seeking to expand fishing in the NWHI. She adds that at the moment there are no current caps on either bottomfish or pelagic fishing based on the pounds of fish caught and brought to market. Only bottomfish fishing is limited, and that is by the number and size of the vessels allowed to fish. Approved pelagic fishermen can catch as much as they like.

NOAA has yet to issue their opinion on Wespac's new fishery management plan.

A draft environmental impact statement on the NWHI will be released in June by NOAA, while a public hearing on the NOAA-approved plan is scheduled for late June or July. •

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(,

I n the early 1900s, Kane'ohe, La'ie, Kahalu'u, Manoa and Waikiki looked just like Hanalei-green storybook terraces ofkalo lo'i.

On the neighbor islands, Api 'i thrived in Waipi'o; Red and White Moi dominated W ailua; Hanalei boasted Lehua Maoli and Maui Lehua-taro once reserved for the ali 'i. Over the course of a millennium, Hawaiians, called by historians the "most sophisticated horticulturalists in Polynesia," cultivated more than 300 varieties of taro.

As buildings went up, taro cultivation went down. Today, taro production is at an all-time low since crop yields were first published. In 2005, four million pounds were harvested, down 19 percent from 2004. On the Big Island, 50 percent less taro was brought to market-250,000 pounds versus 500,000 pounds in 2004. The obvious culprits are heavy rains and pests-apple snails, pocket rot, leaf blight.

Inside the labs at the University ofHawai'i, researchers are looking for ways to address the problem. They injected disease-resistant genes from rice into Chinese, Hawaiian and Samoan taro varieties, finding success only with the Chinese Bun Long variety, on which they continue to experiment. They also crossbred Maui Lehua taro with Palauan taro and came up with bigger taro that was also more resistant to leaf blight and pocket rot. In 2002, they patented three of these hybrids, raising the ire of the native Hawaiian community that, according to Hawaiian mythology, traces its genealogy back to the first taro plant Haloanakalaukapalili, the elder brother of Haloa, from whom all Hawaiians are descended. Hfiloa, they insist, is not for sale.

Meanwhile, in the fields, the farmers are looking to nature for an answer. They say taro will thrive with an adequate supply of clean, cold water, long fallow periods, fertile soil, crop rotation and diverse small plantings-in other words, good farming. 'The earth-loving planter finds something very real and sensual about feeling the 'good earth,"' Hawaiian scholar George Kanahele wrote, describing the soft mud of the lo 'i that oozes around the fingers and toes of a taro farmer planting his huli.

Organic farmers believe the current model of industrial agriculture is flawed. Here's the basic low-down: Food comes from farms. Big companies own big farms (that use big machines, pesticides and fertilizers that use a lot of oil). They search for ways to push production. One way involves borrowing tools from other living things to make "new" and "improved" food-genetically modified organisms (GMO), also called transgenic organ-

•

isms. These new foods are sold, unlabelled, to consumers. The big companies own the seeds to the new foods, and they won't share. Sometimes birds and bees carry these seeds to small farms. The big farms call that stealing, and they sue the small farms. More and more, the

where the taro research is based, points

out that as the world develops, the proprietary knowledge that was commonly shared in the past is now being patented. "If someone else patents it, we will have to pay the royalties," he warns.

Ritte says, "That's food we eat is the new food from the big farms. The number of predominant GMO crops--canola, com, soybeans, and cotton farm--covered 3.7 million acres in 1996 and 100 million acres in 2003.

Genetic modification makes it easier to procure a piece of nature, and Hawai'i

like saying, ifl don't rape you, somebody else will, so let me rape you first."

Hashimoto recognizes the conflict is a clash of native Hawaiian values and academic values. "If the sentiment is don't is the brave new world.

Big companies also figured out that Moth-er Nature holds the remedies for all kinds of human predicaments-a South African cactus that is a hunger suppressant, a deadly Filipino sea snail whose venom makes a great painkiller, an Andean root that's a natural Viagra, and so on and so forth. So now they're trying to own it all. They call this mission biotechnology.

But some are wary of the leap from nature to technology. Longtime Hawaiian activist and Moloka 'i taro farmer Walter Ritte prefers a spiritual rather than scientific approach. "Hawaiians call it mana. It's our spiritual power, the essence of who we are. It's kept us alive for thousands of years," he says. "The problem is that someone gave the mana a new name-biodiversity."

He calls the bid to own Hawai'i's biodiversity the "second Great Mahele." ''They want to buy and sell, manipulate and own the mana," Ritte says. "But they picked the wrong plant. They picked on our brother."

Andy Hashimoto, dean of the UH College of Tropical Agriculture and Human Resources

mess at all with the Hawaiian varieties of

taro, personally I would accept that. But I would hope they would understand the longterm consequences: In 100 years, Hawaiian taro is not going to be here," he says. Hashimoto explains that genetic modification is an important tool that researchers can use to protect plants from diseases, pointing out that the taro is vulnerable the way early Hawaiians were susceptible to plague. (To which Hawaiian studies professor Lilikala Kame'eleihiwa responds, "But we didn't change the Hawaiian people. We attacked the disease.")

But Hashimoto is right. Not only can genetic modification protect plants from disease, it protects people from disease. In 1982 Eli Lilly & Co. introduced Humulin, a human insulin produced by bacteria. It became the first genetically engineered drug approved by the FDA, to the great relief of 177 million diabetics. By 1997, 10 of the world's 25 top-selling drugs were genetically engineered. According to the United Nations Environment Programme, more than 40 percent of all prescriptions written in the U.S. contain at least one

8 Honolulu Weekly • April 5--11, 2006 • www.honoluluweeldy.com

drug that ongmates from wild species of fungi, bacte

ria, plants and animals. Foodwise, GMOs have the potential

to be more disease- and pest-resistant, more delicious and more

nutritious. So why do GMOs get such a bad rap?

The warrior papayas In 1998, the University ofHawai'i in

collaboration with Cornell University in-troduced the first genetically modified trees

via two transgenic varieties of papaya: the yellow-fleshed Rainbow and the red-fleshed Sunup. These warriors were resistant to the ringspot virus, which in the early '90s threatened to devastate Hawai'i's fifth largest crop and second biggest commercial fruit export. Since then, more than 100 million pounds of GMO papaya have been sold, and now more than 50 percent ofHawai'i's papaya trees are GMOs. UH researchers, who ostensibly saved the $47 million industry, were awarded the prestigious 2002 Alexander von Humboldt Foundation A ward for Agriculture.

However, organic papaya farmers who made the switch say GMO papaya fetches 600 percent less in price, and they lost many customers (like Japan, formerly Hawai 'i's biggest papaya importer) that refuse GMOs. They also discovered the GMO papayas to be vulnerable to blackspot fungus, so they have to be sprayed every 10 days.

In 2004, an independent study by reputable scientific lab Genetic ID showed that the genetically engineered seeds went slurnmin'. More than half of 20,000 organic and wild seeds on the Big Island tested positive for GMO contamination. Organic farmers were outraged, fearing both a loss of their organic certification, the end of the natural papaya industry and lawsuits for unintended patent infringement.

New Scientist magazine illustrates the borderless nature of genetic modification by stating the limitations of natural crossbreeding: You can cross a donkey and a horse to make a mule, but you can't cross a donkey and an oak tree. Genetic engineering, however, lets you try.

More GMO field tests are conducted in Hawai 'i than in any other state-more than 4,000 to date. Proposed state legislation that limits genetic modification-specifically on Hawaiian taro and coffee--continues to be defeated. Cross-pollination happens, the GMO industry shrugs. It's the birds, the bees, the wind. So now organic farmers who want to claim organic and mean it have to put plastic bag condoms over the flowering buds. But there's no way to keep all the plants from un-

You can cross a donkey and a horse to make a mule, but you can't cross a donkey and an aak tree.

Genetic enginee~inu, however, lets you try.

Hanohano Naeha, Walter Ritte and Kalanlua Ritte of the Hawai'i Leaming Center on Moloka'I believe academic freedom is no justification for genetic modification or patenting of Hawaiian taro.

protected sex, and should a natural plant meet a dodgy bioph~aceutical in some dark alley, the consequences could be fatal.

That is a risk inherent in biopharrninggrowing modified plants to develop drugs and chemicals. Th1::se pharma crops look just like natural plants, but they're not: spermicidal com used for contraceptives, potatoes loaded with genes for cholera, spinach carrying a rabies vaccine. They are toxic to humans. The Union of Concerned Scientists shows Hawai 'i is a hotbed for biopharming, with 40 previously approved pharma crops, tied with Puer-

to Rico and more than any other state. To put a finer point on it, the USDA In

spector General's 2005 audit report concluded that the Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service (APHIS), the agency that issues permits for field testing genetically engineered crops, is doing an inadequate job in monitoring whether companies are complying with containment standards, whether there are harmful environmental effects, and what happens to the harvest after the field test ends. "Of primary concern," the report states, "the precise locations of all GE field test sites planted

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in the United States are not always known." It's hard to monitor an experiment if you don't know where it's happening.

· This little factor contributed to a landmark 2004 ruling in which a federal judge ordered the disclosure ofbiopharm open-field test sites in Hawai 'i. The locations were used to buoy a lawsuit filed by Earthjustice representing the Center for Food Safety, Friends of the Earth, Pesticide Action Network North America and KAHEA: The Hawaiian-Environmental Alliance, charging that biopharmaceutical companies violated the National Environmental

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soybean, corn, potato, papaya, tomato

he says. 'They're very upset that the government continues to allow this. It's crazy to use the same crops that you use to feed humans and livestock-you can't visually tell the difference between one ear of com and another-to grow things that aren't suitable for human consumption, especially given the likelihood of contamination. It's a public health and environmental disaster just waiting to happen."

The problem with patents At the heart of the problem is the ownership issue. After all, as Ritte points out, ''Nobody's going to invest in biotech unless you can own the product-biodiversity." But why use private property laws to govern what ought to be owned by the public?

Anyone who wants to grow the taro that UH has patented must pay royalties equal to 2 percent of their gross revenues after three years. F.armers, whose taxes help fund the , university, are not allowed to sell or give away any huli. Dean Hashimo-to says revenues from licensing the taro would be split 50-50 between the faculty member and the university.

Exclusionary by nature, the patent doesn't require the patent holder to exercise.the invention; it just keeps others from doing so. Think of it as a second homeowner' s beach house that removes the ocean view from the public eyeeven if he doesn't use it, nobody else can, unless you pay him to rent it. These patents go so far as to assign ownership over the fundamental building blocks of nature-the natural-born organisms that, like the primary colors, combine organically to create the earth's rainbow of biodiversity. Science News reports that nearly 20 percent of all human genes have been patented, 63 percent of them by private companies. The beachfront property's going quickly.

Former USDA attorney and environmental activist Claire Hope Cummings says, 'The central problem is, are we going to have an economic or an ecological vision?" She envisions a system in which local and regional farming are promoted, and government isn't hamstrung by "their only idea of economic development [as] a large resort owned by a multinational corporation where the money doesn't stay in the county and is based on tourism-versus

providing fresh, sustainably raised foods for people that employ local people."

She continues, "People who don't have enough-people on food stamps and suffering from diabetes and social health inequities-don't know that when they buy this high-

ly processed food they're participating not only in an industrial ag system but hurting their own personal health."

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Native Hawaiians rally in front of Bachman Hall at UH-Minoa to protest the University of Hawal'i's patents on taro.

edgment of indigenous rights. The U.S. is not a party to the CBD (a distinction we share with East Timor, Iraq, Brunei, Andorra and Somalia), and no state, including Hawai 'i, has enacted legislation governing bioprospecting.

imens from Hawaii)." Two weeks ago, UH trumpeted

the discovery of a staph-fighting bacterium from a marine organism in Kane'ohe Bay. The research was conducted as part of an exclusive agreement with Diversa Corpora-

process is valuable and worthy of protection. Without it, the spoonful of dirt remains a spoonful of dirt.

But watchdogs point out that those spoonfuls of dirt ( or drops of seawater) belong to the public. According to the state attorney gener-

In a regulatory vacuum, bioprospecting quickly becomes biopir,:icy. To wit: In 2004, researchers from Massachusetts received permission to collect a specific marine mollusk from Hawaiian waters. They collected more than 10,000 mollusks and shipped them from O'ahu to Boston, ulti-

More GMO field tests are conducted in Hawai'i

than in any other statemore than 4,000 to date.

al's office, if the state doesn't reserve title to biogenetic resources on public lands, then the state doesn't own them. Bottom line: If Diversa produces a staph-fighting drug from the Kane'ohe marine species, the state has no way to exact compensation for the exploitation of the resources

mately to be sent to a pharmaceutical company in France-until the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service impounded the shipment.

The Division of Forestry and Wildlife (DOFA W) and Division of Aquatic Resources (DAR) of the Department of Land and Natural Resources (DLNR) require a written permit for the collection of plant, animal and geological materials, and a few marine species, respectively, in areas under their jurisdiction. Applicants who are bioprospecting don't have to reveal their intent. And besides threatened and endangered plants and animals, biodiversity samples are not prohibited from being taken out of Hawai 'i.

According to a Janu?ry 2006 report to the state legislature by researcher Peter G. Pan, the University of Hawai 'i is currently involved in six bioprospeeting projects (none of which the DLNR claims to have permitted). One of these is an ominous-sounding initiative, funded by the UH Accelerated Research Commercialization Program and described as an effort in partnership with Hawaii Biotech, Inc. to "identify bioterrorism drug candidates from plants and marine algae in UH Bi~logical Collections (not all spec-

tion, a San Diego biotech firm. The contract states UH will be "responsible for the collection, processing and shipment to Di versa of environmental samples from diverse habitats and/or DNA samples isolated from such environmental samples ... " If any of the biogenetic material proves to be commercially viable, UH receives royalties that commensurate with the industry standard for that particular kind of invention.

While exact numbers aren't disclosed, Kevin Kelly, managing director for UH' s Experimental Program to Stimulate Competitive Research (EPSCoR), says typical payouts for active compounds start at 0.5 to 2 percent. Enzymes might fetch a little more, but royalties never even approach 5 percent. Kelly explains the academic standpoint: Biological discoveries will help develop the life sciences industry in Hawai 'i, diversifying the economy and bringing more research opportunities and high-paying jobs. Why should companies stand to gain from something taken from Hawai'i's biodiversity? If researchers can take a microorganism from a spoonful of dirt and develop a beneficial end product, that

from its public lands, which are supposed to be held in the public trust-and in the case of ceded lands, for the benefit of native Hawaiians.

Last Friday, a concurrent resolution requesting the establishment of a temporary advisory commission on biological prospecting passed the House Agriculture and House Economic and Business Concerns committees with broad support from all the relevant government agencies, UH, OHA and the biotech industry. Everyone agrees that rules must be made before things get out of hand. 'The fear is that bioprospecting facilitates the creation of artificial mutations that, when propagated, could cause unintended, uncontrollable, and irreversible harm," the legislative report says.

Current laws allow these mutant makers to act like parents who say, if the kid's doing something good, he's my kid-they claim ownership; if he's acting up, he's your kidthey're not liable. Given the blurring of science and nature, the precautionary principle becomes a valuable implement for regulators. The burden of proof should rest on the innovators to show a new product is safe lest everyone else have to learn the hard way that it's not. •

I

Claire Hope Cummings: Putting the

culture back in agriculture

Do you have:

I n the 1930s, Hawai'i was completely food selfsufficient. Today, we import 90--95 percent of what we eat. At a time when that lifeline is threatened by our dependence on non-renew~ble resources and manipulated by corporate claim

jumpers, people are beginning to recognize the importance of finding a different, sustainable approach to agriculture. Can Hawai 'i feed itself? Environmental and native land rights lawyer and journalist Claire Hope Cummings says, yes. The former attorney for the U.S. Department of Agriculture has served as general counsel for several environmental organizations including The Cultural Conservancy, which she also founded. She will give a talk on "Food Security: Hawai 'i's s»stainable Future" at Patagonia in Hale'iwa on Sat., April 8 at 6:30PM.

How did food crops leave the hands of local community tanners and tum into an experimental playground for biotech companies? What drives this is a perceived need by universities to do research to improve crops. The real perspective is that indigenous people and farmers have always done the research themselves. In the last half of the 20th century, universities took over that function. It used to be in cooperation with farmers and

farm organizations, but in the '90s, corporations took that over and the whole research system became privatized. That was partly because of the 1980 Bayh-Dole Act [that] allowed universities to benefit by taking out patents on their "inventions." As a result, it put profit into the whole picture. Once profit became the motivating force in agricultural research, it changed a lot about what questions get asked and why certain crops are developed and why others might be neglected.

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So profits have driven us to treat plants and crops as commodities •.. Can we lose the idea of ownership? Our private property legal system came out of economic imperative. Given climate change, the end of oil and environmental issues we're facing now in the 21st century, we're going to have to come up with a new system. The good news is the system we had before is not set in stone. We made it up in response to certain exigencies. We can make up another one that works better now for restoring ecological balance.

How are th~ patents encroaching on the rights of indigenous peoples? The concern with the utility patent-like the ones UH has on the taro-is that it doesn't just apply to the particular genetic structure that was altered. For example, it's kind of playing out that Syngenta owns x number of varieties of rice. They're asserting ownership not only on the genes they've manipulated, but on the genes that nature provided the world and that indigenous people and farmers who developed rice varieties over centuries provided.

What's being disregarded is the relationship between the people and the plant, between the farmer and the taro. When the farmer goes out and chants to his taro, when he observes how it reacts to snail infestations, when the schoolchildren learn their taro heritage-those cultural relationships are what's important. Economically, [the GMO] model hasn't proven itself. What I'm concerned about is the whole love affair with technology and the sacrifice of culture.

As far as policy is concerned, what changes should be made? I'm a big fan of an architect by the name of William McDonough who says that regulation is a design flaw: If you have to regulate, you've got a design problem. So I would rather redesign than reregulate. The redesign would encompass allow-

ing assertions of sovereignty by native people over their biodiversity. They could have informed consent and decide to participate in prospecting, but it's really important that they also have a right to decline: They could say, ''No, this is sacred. We don't allow any tampering. It can't be removed."

Are you optimistic that change will happen? The agriculture system we have is zombie agriculture. Twenty-six billion dollars worth of subsidies are making this look like it's a living system, but it's been dead for a long time. I just read a report by the U.S. Geological Survey that says U.S. farmers are putting 1 billion pounds of pesticides on the ground every year, and now 90 percent of all the rivers and streams in the U.S. are contaminated with cancer-causing pesticides ... And now with the World Trade Organization and peak oil, there's huge pressure on this industrial agriculture system. It has to change. Change is inevitable.

How long will it take? A decade. We are at an agricultural tipping point. There are a few ingredients that have to come together like policy, investment, technology. Is the technology there? Yes. Do the communities have the ability to do it? Yes. Communities all over the world have revitalized their local agriculture. Oil is going to drive this, the end of subsidies ... We have the technology to provide all the fuel and power we need with existing alternative fuel technology, and we have the know-how to provide food for everyone on the planet using sustainable growing methods. The collective knowledge of 30 years of organic farming has proven this productivity.

So, we're there. The missing piece is leadership. We' re used to thinking of leadership as Gandhi or Martin Luther King. The way leadership is happening now is going to come from thousands and thousands of small organizations becoming self-aware and networking.

HONOLULU

Weekly Kamehameha Perfonnina Ares Depal1menc

Seeks Production

Manager You are methodical and

organized, masterful with Macintosh, have

extensive experience with QuarkXPress, PhotoShop,

Illustrator, Acrobat, lnDesign and PDF formats.

You work with editors and sales people with a smile.

You keep your sense of humor during the darkest moments of a deadline! Sense of irony a plus.

Must have three of years of prepress

or print production experience.

Design or graphics degree preferred.

Please send cover letter, resume, three references and

work samples to: Ilsa Enomoto, Honolulu Weekly

1200 College Walk, Ste. 214 Honolulu, HI 96817

[email protected] NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE!

presents

April 7, 8, 14 & 22 at 7 p.m. April 21 at 8 p.m.

April 9, 15 & 23 at 2 p.m.

Kamehameha Schools Kapalama Campus

Princess Ruth Ke'elikolani Auditorium

General admission at the doorAdults, $5 I Students, $3

For more information, call 842-8356

www.honoluluweekly.com • April 5-1 ( 2006 • Honolulu Weekly 13

Concerts •••••••••••••••••• Co West

The Windy City's most famous college drop out and hip-hop's most notorious President Bush

basher, Kanye West, hits the Blaisdell this Sunday for the final stop of his highly successful Touch the Sky tour.

After producing "Take Over" and "Izzo (H.O.V.A)" on Jay-Z's The Blueprint album, West became one of the most sought after producers in music. When he finally grabbed a rnic and dropped his debut album College Drop Out, West found instant success with "Through the Wire," "Slow Jamz," "All Falls Down" and the controversial "Jesus ·Walks."

West later branched out from under the Roe-a-Fella Records umbrella to start G.0.0.D (Getting Our Our Dreams) Music and continued to shine producing platinum albums for John Legend ( Get Lifted) and Common (Be).

Among his latest accolades are his Billboard 2005 Artist Achievement Award, the Brit Award for best international male artist and his three Grammies (best rap solo performance for "Gold Digger," best rap album for Late Registration and best rap song for "Diamonds from Sierra Leone").

As his award shelf, worldwide acclaim and ego continue to grow, the future looks even brighter for West, who talked the Jigga Man out of retirement. He is already in the lab working on material for his next album, Graduation, and speaking of coming out of retirement, he's producing Jay-Z's new album. Not to be outdone by Diddy, West's, Pastelle Clothing Line will premiere later this spring.

-Kalani Wilhelm

Blaisdell Arena, 777 Ward Ave., Sun 419, 7:30PM, $49.50 general tickets at all Ticketmaster outlets, online at ticketmaster. com and by phone at 1-877-750-4400

Dance •••••••••••••••••• Ballet high

Whoever said ballet is boring? We never thought so, but in our supersonic, Ritalin-hun

gry world of stimuli, Giselle and the dying swan may seem a bit antiquated for some tastes.

Fugate/Bahiri Ballet NY aims to change that attirude. Founded in 1997 by accomplished ballet veterans Medhi Bahiri and Judith Fugate, the Ballet NY mission is to present the highest level of professionalism and artistry possible, to develop new audi-ences for ballet in overlooked cities

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Gigs 15 Concerts £. Clubs/On Sale 18

Theater £. Dance/Museums 24 Galleries/Words/Learning 2& Keiki £. 'Chana/Botanical/Hikes £. Excursions/Food £.

Drink/Whatevahs/Volunteer/Gay/Mixed Media/Neighbors 28 Film 29 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Galleries •••••••••••••••••••••••••• Metro architectural

Swaying palm trees, coconut cocktails, Wyland murals and chocolate-covered mac nuts: this is what many envision when dreaming ofHawai'i. It's a

wonder how many tourists are shocked when they find that Honolulu has .freeways, condos and graffiti. That's why Trisha Lagaso Goldberg dreamed up MetroJIA.WAl'I: Gridlock and Other Local Traditions, a gallery installation opening Friday at thirtyninehotel.

Plain and simple? The project s~ks to take down Honolulu's touristy fai;:ade and present the city in the

\

buff-H-1, military bases and all. The communitybased project features more than 20 artists works in photography, mixed media, -digital video, printmaking, painting and performance.

Think graffiti presented as art, a skate video put together by local skateboar~ shop APB, Nate Chung's public art intervention Lovely Hotel Street (Remember his Valentine's Day project, Downtown Love?) and even a series of photo projects put together by students from Pa.lama Settlement's In-Community Treatment Program, a two-month long workshop that centered on concepts of urban planning, globalism, and traffic and resource management.

If your idea of Honolulu is altered after seeing the show, don't blame us. -Michelle Takiguchi

Thirtyninehotel 39 N. Hotel St., Opening reception Fri 4/7, 6--9PM, exhibition through Sat 5120, 599-2552

and to keep the cost of production and ticket prices affordable. The company performs this Saturday at Leeward Community College Theatre.

Fugate and Bahiri felt that most dancers had forgotten the fun factor. Technique and athleticism were fine but a dancer who never jetes out of his own little eight-count bubble makes for an uninspired audience.

Recruiting a potpourri of top-rated dancers, Fugate and Bahiri have created a diverse and all-inclusive repertoire. Awed by Baryshnikov power and Balanchine genius? They got it. Like the new and hypnotic a Ia RobertAltman's The Company? Got it. Or maybe you crave the tutus and pink toes shoes of a traditional Nutcracker. They got that· under their dante belts too.

LCC doesn't claim to be ecstatic over the cancellation of U2, sched-

14 Honolulu Weekly • April 5:-1i, 2006 • www.honoluluweeldy.com

•

uled to perform the same night as Ballet NY, but when the rock giants cancelled, theater manager Joe Patti campaigned to make U2 and ballet fans one and the same. Say "I am taking a buddy to the ballet," to the box office staff and pay only $16 a ticket .

-Becky Maltby

LCC Theatre, 96-045 Ala Ike St, Pearl City, Sat 4/8, 8PM, $23 general $19 students/seniors/military, 455-0385, kctheatre. hawaii. edu

Concerts • ••••••••••••••••• Requiem for a dream

Distraction, circa 1797: Write the ultimate requiem mass while wracked with guilt about

your father's death and while suffering a fatal disease yourself! Contender Wolfgang Mozart has met all previous challenges, but this one seems to be getting the best of him. His buddies are at his bedside. They're helping him sing the parts ... he's going for it! No! He's dead!

Rumors of the death scene were started by Mozart's sidekick; Franz Xaver Niemetschek, in an 1808 biography that went mainstream in the 1984 movie Amadeus. But that's not how it went down. Mozart was indeed commissioned to write the mass, but he didn't write it while on his deathbed (though he did die midcomposition, leaving the work unfinished). The only real drama surrounding the Requiem composition is that Count Franz Walsegg-Stuppach asked Mozart to write the piece in memory of his dead wife and then lamely tried to pass the work off as his own (something he did quite regularly).

In honor of the good composer's 250th birthday, departing Honolulu Symphony Chorus Conductor Karen. Kerui.edy directs a huge choir drawn from Ghana, New Zealand, Japan and Hawai'i, in its performance of the famed piece.

The program opens with Jacqµes Ibert's "Hommage a Mozart'', with Assistant Condu~tor Joan Landry representing. Landry isn't your usual stodgy conductor. She moves with the grooves in ways that bring out more from the symphony than other, stiffer conductors who shall remain nameless.

Landry closes the first half with Symphony No. 41, K. 551, aka, "Jupiter," added by impresario J. P. Salomon, who later went big by bringing Franz Joseph Haydn to England.

The concert is part of the global birthday parry for Mozart. Add a great dinner and the show makes for the most extreme cultural dace on the island. -Stephen Fox

Blaisdell Concert Hall Fri 4/7, 8PM & Sun 419 4PM, $12-$65, tickets at the Blaisdell Box Office, at all Ticketmaster outlets, online at ticketmaster. com and by phone at 1-817-750-4400

.....•.......................................................... ~ ......•..............................•........•.........•. THI IIINI

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Gigs 5/Wednesday COMEDY Augie T., Esprit Nightclub (7:30pm) 922-4422

COUNTRY/FOLK The Geezers, Amo/d's Beach Bar (7pm) 924-6887

HAWAIIAN 3 Scoops of Aloha, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (7:30pm) 923-7311 Brothers Cazimero, Chai's Bistro (7pm) 585-0011 Ainsley Halemanu and Ka Liko O Kapalai, Kuhio Beach Hula Stage (6pm) 843-8002 Jonny Kamai Duo, Sheraton Moana (8:30pm) 922-3111 Ka'ala Boys, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (6:15pm) 931-4660 Kanllau, Sheraton Waikiki (6pm) 922-4422 Kimo Oplana, Mar Tai Bar, Ala Moana (4pm) 947-2900 San Kapu 'll'io, Sheraton Moana (5:30pm) 922-3111 Kawao, Mai Tai Bar, Ala Moana (9:30pm) 947-2900 Weldon Kekauoha, Tiki's Grill & Bar (9pm) 923-8454

• pin one

A SELECTIVE GUIDE TODJ NIGHTS WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5 ACID WASH INDUSTRY NIGHT@ Next Door w/ DJs G-Spot, Quicksilva, Vegas Mike THE COMPOUND (reggae) (hip-hop)@ Indigo w/ DJs Deadfoot, Packo, 45 Revolver D."l BLAKE @ Bobby G's DEEP (hip-hop) (funk) (soul) (dancehall), (reggae) @ Detox w/ Funkshun, Diskrypt, Revise, AbeOne DFX @ Dave & Buster's w/ rotating DJs PUMP DAY@ Zanzabar w/ DJs Mike D & G-Man SALSA 7 (Latin) @ Margaritas Mexican Restaurant and Cantina at Marc Suites Waikiki w/DJJose SHOCKWAVE (industrial) (goth)@ Pink Cadillac w/ DJs Politix, Angst, Shadowfaxx SMOOTH @ Dave & Busters w/ Sonik, Stealth, JT and guests WET 'N' WILD WEDNESDAYS @Venus w/ DJs K-Smooth and Mixmaster B WIPEOUT WEDNESDAYS@ Eastside Grill w/ DJ Troy Michael and Guest DJs

THURSDAY, APRIL 6 CASUAL THURSDAYS@ Fashion 45 CLASSY @ Kai w/ Jaytee, Kause, guests DIVA LA GLAM (house) (trance) (breaks) @ Hula's w/ DJs Maxxx & G. HNL@ Next Door UVE IN THE MIX @The O Lounge w/ Mr. Goodvybe & Kutmaster Spaz PIRANHA BROTHERS@ Bobby G's followed by DJ D-Box . RIOT@ Hula's w/ DJs Michael Fong &Maxxx SALSA AFTER HOURS (Latin)@ Rumours w/ DJs Jose, Papi, Ever, Mano Lopez & guests TATTOO THURSDAYS@ Cellar Nightclub THIRSTY THURSDAYS (hip-hop) (house)

Kelly Boy Delima, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Lawrence Kidder & Dwight Kanae, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Ha111aiian (4:15pm) 923-7311 Pilioha, Aku Bone Lounge (8pm) 589-2020 Aloha Serenaders, House Without a Key (5pm) 923-2311 Ellsworth Simeona, Duke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 Tangi Tully, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (9:30pm) 931-4660 Haumea Warrington, Duke's Waikiki (10pm) 922-2268

JAZZ/BLUES PBS Little Big Band, Studio 6 (8pm) 596-2123 Ginai and Keith Scott, Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (9pm) 945-0800 Bruce Hamada & Jim Howard, Lewers Lounge (8:30pm) 923-2311 Hiroshi Hata & Friends, Honolulu Club (6:30pm) 543-3916 Azure McCall, Deep Blue (7pm) 922-4992 Sherry Shaoling, 0 Lounge (6pm) 944-8436

LATIN Son Caribe, Panama Hattie's (9pm) 485-8226

ROCK/POP Guy Cruz, Gordon Biersch (5:30pm) 599-4877 Furious Floyd, Bobby G's Spot (9pm) 926-7066 Cory Oliveros, Tiki's Grill & Bar (5pm) 923-8454 Rlzon, Esprit Nightclub (8:30pm) 922-4422

(trance) @ Zanzabar

FRIDAY, APRIL 7 ARTIST GROOVE NETWORK@ Maharaja Ultra Lounge w/ DJs Ryan Sean & Sonic BEATDOWN@ Detox w/ DJ Mindgame BE SOCIAL FRIDAYS @O Lounge w/ DJs Jimmy Taco, Flip and Spoo-K CHEMISTRY LOUNGE (hip-hop) (neosoul)@ Sheraton Waikiki w/ DJs 45 & i.n.c DFX@ Dave & Buster's w/ rotating DJs FOREPLAY FRIDAZE@ Pipeline w/ DJs Wu Chang & Mike D FREAKS COME OUT FRIDAYS @ Cellar Nightclub FUGU @ Zanzabar THE GENDER BENDERS@ Fusion Waikiki GET FRESH! @ Indigo THE GROOVE@ Zen (the old Reign) HIATUS@ Don Ho's w/ Galmiche THE LIVING ROOM (classic hip-hop) (club bangers) (dancehall) (R&B) (soul)@ Fisherman's Wharf w/ DJs Compose, DELVElDER, XL. Cheddar presented by The Architects and Kaizo NEW YORK NITES@ Las Palmas w/ DJ Don Armando PACIFIC STANDARD@ Next Door PAU HANA FRIDAY@ Ocean Club PIRANHA BROTHERS@ Bobby G's followed by DJ D-Box PURO PARTY LATINA@ Panama Hatties RESIDENT ADVISOR (house) (breaks) (funk) (disco) (hip-hop) @ Detox w/ Funkshun, lllis, Padawan, AbeOne SALSA 7 (Latin) @ Margaritas Mexican Restaurant and Cantina at Marc Suites Waikiki w/ DJ Alberto SPICE LOUNGE@ E&O Trading Company TROPICALIA @ Bikini Cantina w/DJ Eric Caju WONDERLOUNGE (house) (hip-hop)@ W Hotel w/ DJs Nalu & Byron the Fur

SATURDAY, APRIL 8 BARRIO SOUL (salsa) (mambo) (boogaloo) (cha cha cha) @ Indigo w/ DJs Chef, CookieHead Jenkins, Mano Lopez CHINATOWN SESSIONS@ Next Door DFX@ Dave & Buster's w/ rotating DJs DJ JONATHAN DOE@ Breakers ELECTRO-L YFE @ Indigo w/ DJs Vince, Gonzalez, Toki HOUSE OF ISIS @ Zanzabar

Soulbucket, Moana Terrace (6:30pm) 922-6611 Stardust w/Rocky Brown, Yvette Nii, Brian Robertshaw, Cobalt Lounge at the Hanohano Room (5:30pm) 922-4422 Nohelanl Cypriano Trio wjhula, Sheraton Moa11a (5:30pm) 922-3111 Wasabi, Chez Monique (8pm) 488-2439

WORLD/REGGAE Maka & the I Sight Band, Boardrider's (9pm) 261-4600 James McCarthy, O'Toole's Pub (5pm) 536-4138 The Muses, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777 Simple Souls, Tiki's Grill & Bar (7pm) 923-8454 Celtic Waves, O'Toole's Pub (9pm) 536-4138

&/Thursday COUNTRY/FOLK Dang Hillbillies, Tiare's Sports Bar & Grill (10pm) 230-8911

HAWAIIAN 3 Scoops of Aloha, Sheraton Waikiki (6pm) 922-4422 Aunty Genoa Keawe's Hawaiians, Moana Terrace (6pm) 922-6611 Val Crabbe and Na 'Opio, Kuhio Beach Hula Stage (6pm) 843-8002 Manoa DNA, E & 0 Trading Company (7pm) 591-9555

Don't sleep The Lightsleepers, that enigmatic group that holds down a good portion of the urban scene but about whom we know little else-except_that when it comes to underground, they've got the market cornered-is at it again. The gang knows that the best sign of true underground is no sign at all (visit lightsleepers.corn and you11 see what we mean~

Here's what we do know: The Lightsleepers are back with their weekend street art meets spoken word meets tumtablism event at their new location, Prototype, in Pearl Oty.

LUCKY TIGER @ thirtyninehotel MASTER MIND ENTERTAINMENT (hip-hop) (R&B) (reggae)@ Panama Hatties THE NEXT LEVEL (underground hip-hop)@ The Living Room at Fisherman's Wharf w/ Direct Descendants NJOY (hip-hop) @ Chai's Island Bistro w/ DJs Delve & XL PAPERDOLL REVUE@ Fusion Waikiki PIRANHA BROTHERS@ Bobby G's followed by DJ D-Box SALSA 7 (Latin)@ Margaritas Mexican

' I

Ellsworth & Haumea, Hula Grill (7pm) 92ll--lULA Ka'ala Boys, Sheraton Princess Ka'mlani (6:15pm) 931-4660 Sam Kapu, Sheraton Princess Ka'i11/a11i (9:30pm) 931-4660 Sam Kapu Trio, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (4:15pm) 923-7311 Lawrence Kidder, Jr., Duke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 Mark Yim Duo, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (7:30pm) 923-7311 Mihana, Due's Bistro (7pm) 531-6325 Ka Moana Trio, Sheraton Moana (5:30pm) 922-3111 Sean Na'auao, Tiki's Grill & Bar (5pm) 923-8454 Aloha Serenaders, House Without a Key (5pm) 923-2311

JAZZ/BLUES Northslde Art, O'Toole's Pub (5pm) 536-4138 Woo Clan &and wjMiles Lee,Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (6pm) 945-0800 grOOve.lmProV.arTiSts w/DeShannon Higa, Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (9pm) 945-0800 Bruce Hamada & Jim Howard, Lewers Lounge (8:30pm) 923-2311 Azure McCall, Deep Blue (7pm) 922-4992 Jeff Peterson, Michel's (6:30pm) 923-655: Sonny Sliva & Lou Benanto, Bre111 Moon (6:30pm) 593-0088 Ginny Tiu, Sheraton Moana (8:30pm) 922-3111

Here's what you can expect from the two-day event an art installation (a piece is pictured) by The Angry Woebot and Peekaboo of Pocket Full of Monsters, a nation-wide network of street artists who keep in touch via the net; live painting by the Woebot; an MPC set by Sentrlc; music by DJs Observ, Oliver Twist and Solution; a ''writers' battle;" and a "character battle.''

LATIN Rolando Sanchez & Salsa Hawai'i, 0 Lounge (9pm) 944-8436

ROCK/POP 20 Degrees North, Tiki's Grill & Bar (7pm) 923-8454 Booze Bros, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777 Eight.().Eight, Kincaid's (7pm) 59 l-2005 Punk Rock Thursdays wjThe Enhancements and guests, Kainoa's (9pm) 637-7787 Johnny Helm, Tiki's Grill & Bar (9pm) 923-8454 Z. TV (Zanuck Lindsey & guests), Diamond Head Grill (9pm) 922-1700 Local Spice, Ige's Resta11ra11t (8:30pm) 486-3500 Ben, Maila & Albert, Gordon Biersch (7pm) 599-4877 The Malcognltas, Wave Waikiki (9pm) 941-0424, ext. 12 Cory Oliveros, Mai Tai Bar, Ala Moana (4pm) 947-2900 Piranha Brothers, Bobby G's Spot (9pm) 926-7066 Rizon, Esprit Nightc/11b (8:30pm) 922-4422 Rock Steady, Mai Tai Bar, Ala Moa11a (9:30pm) 947-2900 Stardust w /Rocky Brown, John Valentine, Hal Mita, Cobalt Lounge at the Hanohano Room (5:30pm) 922-4422 Paradise XS, O'Toole's Pub (9pm) 536-4138 Swampa ZZ, llldigo (10pm) 521-2900

Continued on Page 16

CASA (deep house) @ Bliss Nightclub DARK SIDE OF THE MOON (hip-hop) (neosoul)@ Brew Moon DJ KRONKITE@Bobby G's DJ MIELO PRESENTS FIERCE BEATS (open decks) @ The Wave Waikiki featuring DJ Spencer Product DOORMAN PRODUCTIONS AND STONE FADED FIVE (neo hip-hop) (neo soul) (R&B)@ The Living Room at Fisherman's Wharf w/ DJs Delve, Zack, Technique, Jay Tee, Goodvybe GROUND CONTROL@ Mercury Bar w/ El Nino. Gonzales, Selector DC, Redblooded PALLADIUM NITES (Latin)@ 0 Lounge w/ DJs Don Armando & Cube SEX-E SUNDAY@Venus SIULING SUNDAYS (dance come~t) @ Zanzabar w/ DJs Mike D, Rude Dogg & LX

MONDAY, APRIL 10 BROKE DIK MONDAYS@ Red Lion HIP-HOP MONDAYS@ Cellar Nightclub BLACK MONDAYS@ The Wave Waikiki

We still don't know what a ''writers' battle" is but we think it's sort of like Pictionary, but instead of drawing a picture, battle participants write something (maybe a poem, a story, we're not exactly surei All participants are given the same word and are judged on how well they 11W the word in their written piece. We think. Details of the guidelines and the actual word will be posted on www.lightsleepers.net.

v.. DJs Swurv & Jrama

We won't even speculate on the character battle. The best way to know, is to go. Friday is the live painting and Saturday are tbe battles. Both nights feature live music and DJ sets. Protoype, Pear/ridge Uptown (1st floor) Fri 4/1 & Sat 4/8, 6-9/M 484-8973 www.lightsleepers.com

Restaurant and Cantina at Marc Suites Waikiki w/ DJ Alberto SALSA SATURDAY@ Bobby G's SEXY SOUTH BEACH FIESTA (hip-hop) (R&B) (trance) (dancehall) (reggaeton (merengue) (bachata) @ las Palmas w/ DJs Don Armando &Cube SPEAKEASY (house) (downtempo) (progressive) @ The Living Room at Fisherman's Wharf w/ The Nitelite Crew & DJ Keoni

SUNDAY, APRIL 9

MELLOW MON DAZE@ Pipeline MY EVOLUTION PARTY@ Bobby G's w/ Tru Rebels and DJ Blake OPEN MIC @ Anna Bannana's R&B SUITE @ Kai w/ DJs Epic One & Slant

TUESDAY, APRIL 11 1/2 PRICE TUESDAYS (Latin)@Carnaval Las Palmas at Reastaurant Row w/ DJ PaPi Alberto BOMB-ASS-TIC@ Pipeline w/ DJs Sandman & MixMasterB COUNTRY BLAST@ Panama Hatties w/ DJ Charlie Garrett EVERYBODY'S LADIES NIGHT @ Ocean Club GRUV (house) (hip-hop) (funk) @The Wave Waikiki w/ rotating DJs HABITAT (house & breaks)@ Bobby G's HOT LATIN TUESDAYS@ Zanzabar w/ DJs Alberto, Rod, Frankie & Da Lion of Judah OUTLAW NIGHT@ Cellar Nightclub w/ Seraps Promoters, get your event listed in Spinlone! E-mail details two weeks in advance to [email protected]

www.honoluluweekly.com • April 5-ll, 2006 ri Honolulu Weekly 15

)

I I

Hank's a million NEW QUBS AND BARS OFfEN FACTOR demo and psychographics with precision during the planning stages, and it shows. The result leads to hundreds of joints intent on catering to certain tastes-and who cares about the rest of us who don't fit certain fasluon, income or musical taste brackets? The result, especially in Chinatown, feels almost like segregation through marketing. And then there's Hank's Cafe.

At first glance, you're not sure what to think of the place. It looks like a dive bar, by way of a tiki stand combined with an art gallery. Scanning the crowd doesn't help. At any time the place might be filled with tourists, elbow to elbow with residents. The conversations between the two factions are always spirited and full of sarcasm. Those with thin skins may have to search out a quiet spot in the corner, because if you sit at or near the bar (and there isn't much room anywhere else), it's open season, and all are sucked into the fold • •• • • • • • •• • • • •• • •• • • • • • •• • • • • quickly, making you feel as if

Hank's Cafe Honolulu 1038 Nu'uanuAve

Getting In: 21+, bring ID Dress Code: Whatever you're wearing is fine Soundtrack: Varies, depending on entertainment Sightings: Kirk Hammett, James MacArthur, KC (sans the Sunshine Band) Signature Drink: Hanko'ver'ed (keep the glass for $8.50)

you've been corning here for years.

The place was bought by Henry M. "Hank" Taufaasau in 1998. Hank had the presence of mind to neither defend nor deny any of the stories eagerly furnished by people on both sides of the bar, who tell of Hank's move from a W aikild gallery storefront into the eclectic Chinatown area, primarily for fiscal reasons.

It might seem odd for the owner to use the small space, most of which is taken up by the L-shaped bar near the front door, to hang his

own artwork spaced between beer signs and photographs of the regulars (listed with a banner reading "Wall of Shame"). But it worked, and it didn't take long before Taufaasau was selling his creations along with libations. In fact, m ny credit Taufaasau with creating the art environment Chinatown ~nioys now, along with the success of the monthly First Friday gallery walk.

In case that sounds megalomaniacal, Hank also uses the space to support other artists, mostly of the musical kind, having open mike live entertainment every night. 1rf-ierc, mostly) local musicians play softly not more than 5 feet away from the bar. Often times, they'll be playing to a packed house, a.nu t not, they're more than willing to put their instruments down simply because the conversations at the bar are too interesting or spirited to ignore. That's what's so infectious about the joint: Almost everyone ~ets mvolved, instead of there being various cliques camped out in vanous comers. It's trite to refer to a place as the fill-in-the-blank Cheers, but here it almost fits-only everyone chooses to take the role of Carla.

But we're sure they're just kidding. Maybe. -Dean Carrico

TUESDAY I APRIL 11

THE WRATH OF JAZZ a night of wine and jazz

Organix 16 Honolulu Weekly • April 5-11, 2006 • www.honoluluweekly.com

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IHI lflNI ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• From Page 15

WORLD/REGGAE Rizzen, Boardrider's (9pm) 261-4600

7/Friday COMEDY Open Mic Comedy Night w/Andy Bumatai,Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (7:30pm) 945-0800

COUNTRY/FOLK Uve from the Lanai wjThe Squirrel Hunters, The Girlas, The Full Steppers, Hawai'i State Art Museum (5pm) 586-9958

HAWAIIAN Barry Choy, Don Ho's Island Grill (5pm) 528-0807 Haumea & Weymouth, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Ka'ala Boys, Tiki's Grill & Bar (5pm) 923-8454 Kaimana, Tiki's Grill & Bar (10pm) 923-8454 Kamakanl Trio, Big City Diner, Kailua (8pm) 263-8880 Kapena, Gordon Biersch (9pm) 599-4877 Kimo Op1ana, Mai Tai Bar, Ala Moana (4pm) 947-2900 Sam Kapu, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (6:15pm) 931-4660 Lawrence Kidder, Jr., Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (9:30pm) 931-4660 Zanuck Undsey Trio, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (7:30pm) 923-7311 Maunalua, Duke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 Po'okela, House Without a Key (5pm) 923-2311 Pau Hana Duo, Sheraton Waikiki (6pm) 922-4422 Pu'uhonua Trio, Sheraton Moana (5:30pm) 922-3111

JAZZ/BLUES Rich Crandall Band w/Hiroshl Hata, Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (9:30pm) 945-0800 Dirty City Blues, OnStage Drinks & Grinds (9:30pm) 306-7799 Bruce Hamada & Jim Howard, Lewers Lounge (8:30pm) 923-2311 Jazzifled, Cobalt Lounge at the Hanohano Room (9pm) 922-4422 Azure McCall, Deep Blue (7pm) 922-4992 Sonya Mendez & Mimi Conner, Shell Bar (8pm) 947-7875 Jeff Peterson, rRed Elephant Coffehouse (7pm) Ginny Tiu, Sheraton Moana (8:30pm) 922-3111

LATIN Son Carlbe, Elk's Club Waikiki (6 :30pm) 923-0089

ROCK/POP Isa Ako, Tiare's Sports Bar & Grill (11pm) 230-8911 Analog, Kemo'o Farms, Pub (9pm) 622-5009 Sunny Beethoven and the DawnBreakers, Margarita's Mexican Food & Cantina (10pm) 931-6274 Brendan, Kelley O'Neil's ( 1:30am) 926-1777 Edgewater, Kincaid's (8:30pm) 591-2005 Rockstar Fridays, Brew Moon (8pm) 593-0088 Hard Rock Fridays, Hard Rock Cafe (9pm) 955-7383 Jook Joint, Palomino (7pm) 528-2400 Kalai, McKay Auditorium, BYUH (7:30pm) 235-7338 Krush, Esprit Nightclub (9:30pm) 922-4422 Speed Umit, Kainoa's (9pm) 637-7787 Tiki Malua, O'Toole's Pub (5pm) 536-4138 The Mixers, O'Toole's Pub (9pm) 536-4138 Cory Oliveros, Gordon Biersch (5:30pm) 599-4877 Mike Piranha, Kelley O'Nei/'s (5pm) 926-1777 Piranha Brothers, Bobby G's Spot (9pm) 926-7066 Resistor, Vertical Charles, Wave Waikiki (9pm) 941-0424, ext. 12 . Rubber Soul, Hyatt Regency Waikiki (7pm) 923-1234 Michael Camino's Birthday Show wjThe 86 Ust, The Hell Caminos, White Rose, The Golf. cart Rebellion, Gutter Cats, Nabahe, Coffee Talk (8pm) 737-7444 Soulbucket, Moana Terrace (6:30pm) 922-6611 Stumbletown, Kelley O'Nei/'s (9pm) 926-1777 Valhi, Tiki's Grill & Bar (7:30pm) 923-8454 Wasabi, Ige's Restaurant (8:30pm) 486-3500

VARIOUS Royal Hawaiian Band, Iolani Palace (12pm) 523-4674

WORLD/REGGAE One Drop, Boardrider's (9pm) 261-4600 Pohaku, Kemo'o Farms, Lanai (9pm) 622-5009 Most High, Dubphylum, Bliss Nightclub (9:30pm) 528-4911

8/Saturday COUNTRY/FOLK The Geezers, Hank's Cafe (5pm) 526-1410 Steve McClellan, Kelley O'Neil's (5pm) 926-1777

HAWAIIAN Backyard Paina, Mai Tai Bar, Ala Moana (9:30pm) 947-2900 Coline Aiu, Kuhio Beach Hula Stage (6:30pm) 843-8002 Waiola Duo, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (4: 15pm) 923-7311 Waiola Duo, Sheraton Moana (8:30pm) 922-3111 Haumea & Weymouth, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Kaimana, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (7:30pm) 923-7311 Kapena, Duke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 Sam Kapu, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani ( 6: 15 pm) 931-4660 Kawao, Tiare's Sports Bar & Grill (llpm)· 230-8911 Maunalua, Moana Terrace (6:30pm) 922-6611 Po'okela/Pa'ahana (alternating Saturdays), House Without a Key (5pm) 923-2311 Ellsworth Simeona, Tiki's Grill & Bar (10pm) 923-8454 Haumea Warrington, Tiki's Grill & Bar (1pm) 923-8454

JAZZ/BLUES Lenny Keyes & Rocky Holmes, Lewers Lounge (8:30pm) 923-2311 Dominic Leonard & Eric Peterson, Planet Hollywood 924-7877 Jeff Peterson, Michel's (6:30pm) 923-6552 James Rondstadt & the Shuffle Kings, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777

LATIN Rolando Sanchez & Island Salsa-Jazz, Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (9:30pm) 945-0800

ROCK/POP 20 Degrees North, Tiki's Grill & Bar (7:30pm) 923-8454 Analog, Wave Waikiki (9pm) 941-0424, ext. 12 Sunny Beethoven and the DawnBreakers, Margarita's Mexican Food & Cantina (10pm) 931·6274 Brendan, Kelley O'Neil's (1 :30arn) 926-1 777 Captain Kaos, Kemo'o Farms, Pub (9pm) 622-5009 The Ghost Band, Kainoa's (9pm) 637-7787 H20, Gordon Biersch (8pm) 599-4877 Johnny Helm, Tiki's Grill & Bar (5pm) 923-8454 Krush, Esprit Nightclub (9:30pm) 922-4422 Missing Dave, The Crud, etc., Detox (8pm) 526-0200 Lawrence Kidder, Mai Tai Bar, Ala Moana (4pm) 947-2900 Cory Oliveros, Kincaid's (8:30pm) 591-2005 Piranha Brothers, Bobby G's Spot (9pm) 926-7066 Rubber Soul, Hyatt Regency Waikiki (7pm) 923-1234 Stardust w / Rocky Brown, Cheri Nakamura, Brian Robertshaw, Cobalt Lounge at the Hanohano Room (5 :30pm) 922-4422 Natural T, Arnold's Beach Bar (9pm) 924-6887 Tradewinds, Pear/ridge Mall, Downtown Stage (6pm) 488-0981 Mike White & the Saltines, OnStage Drinks & Grinds (9:30pm) 306-7799

WORLD/REGGAE Doolin Rakes, O'Toole's Pub (9pm) 536-4138 Natural Vibrations, Boardrider's (9pm) 261-4600 Wrecking Crew, Kemo'o Farms, Lanai (9pm) 622-5009

9/Sunday COUNTRY/FOLK The Geezers, Hank's Cafe (6pm) 526-1410

HAWAIIAN Christian & Sanl, Tiki's Grill & Bar (8pm) 923-8454 Ellsworth, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (9:30pm) 931-4660 Ellsworth & Haumea, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Eric Ho, Tiki's Grill & Bar ( l pm) 923-8454 Leimomi Ho, Kuhio Beach Hula Stage (6:30pm) 843-8002 Ka'ala Boys, Tiki's Grill & Bar (5pm) 923-8454 Kaimana, Sheraton Princess Ka 'iulani (6:15pm) 931-4660 Eddie Kamae & The Sons of Hawai'i, Honey's at Ko'olau (3pm) 236-4653 Pa'ahana Trio, House Without a Key (5pm) 923-2311 George Kuo, Martin Pahinui & Aaron Mahi, Moana Terrace (6pm) 922-6611 Pu'uhonua Trio, Sheraton Moana (5:30pm) 922-3111 Banyan Serenader&, Sheraton Moana (10am) 922-3111 Mark Yim Trio, Sheraton Waikiki (6p!ll) 922-4422

JAZZ/BLUES Bluzilla, East Side Grill (7pm) 952-6555 Azure McCall, Deep Blue (7pm) 922-4992 Noly Pa'a, Lewers Lounge (8:30pm) 923-2311 Jeff Peterson, Michel's (6:30pm) 923-6552

LATIN Son Caribe, Esprit Nightclub (8:30pm) 922-4422

ROCK/POP Furious Floyd, Bobby G's Spot (9pm) 926-7066 Steve Inglis, O'Toole's Pub (9pm) 536-4138 Henry Kapono, Duke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 Jamie Winpenny's Local Band Night, O'Toole's Pub (5pm) 536-4138 Katch Ah Vibe, Mai Tai Bar, Ala Moana (9:30pm) 947-2900 Lawrence Kidder, Mai Tai Bar, Ala Moana (4pm) 947-2900 Tiki Malua, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777 Rubber Soul, Rock Island Cafe, King's Village (6:30 & 8pm) 926-7890 Stardust w /Tricia Marciel, Jimmy Funai, Brian Robertshaw, Cobalt Lounge at the Ha11ohano Room (7:30pm) 922-4422 Ryan Tang, Mai Tai Bar, Royal HaUJaiian (4:15pm) 923-7311 Baam Unlimited, Sheraton Moana (8:30pm) 922-3111

VARIOUS Carol Miyamoto & Aileen Kawakami, Orchids Restaurant, Halekiilani Hotel (9:30am) 923-2311 Open Mic, Tiare's Sports Bar & Grill (6:30pm) 230-8911

_Sunday Music Jam, Ward Warehouse (1pm) 596-8885 Al Waterson & You (karaoke), Don Ho's Island Grill (6pm) 528-0807

WORLD/REGGAE Celtic Waves, Kelley O'Neil's (4pm) 926-1777

10/Monday COUNTRY/FOLK The Geezers, Arnold's Beach B.-r (7pm) 924-6887

HAWAIIAN Mel Amina, Tiki's Grill & B.1r , 0 - 923-8454 Christian & Sani, Moa11a T, r6:30pm) 922-6611 Kaimana, Sher:'on Princess ka' . 1.t:15pm) 931-4660 Art Kalahiki & Mike Saffrey, .\1... , ,, Bar, Royal Hawaiian (8:30pm) 923-7311 Ni Kama, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Sam Kapu Trio, Sheraton Waikiki (6pm) 922-4422 Kelly DeUma 'Ohana, Sheraton Moana (5:30pm) 922-3111 Ho'oheno, House Without a Key (5pm) 923-2311 Ellsworth Simeona, Tiki's Grill & Bar (9pm) 923-8454 Ellsworth Simeona, Duke's Waikiki (4m pm) 922-2268 Tang! Tully, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (9:30pm) 931-4660 "Auntie Pudgie" Young and Hawaiian Serenaders, Kuhio Beach Hula Stage (6pm) 843-8002

JAZZ/BLUES Azure McCall, Deep Blue (7pm) 922-4992 Intricate Mediums w/Maria Remos,Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (9pm) 945-0800 Noly Pa'a, Lewers Lounge (8:30pm) 923-2311

ROCK/POP All Natro, Mai Tai Bar, Ala Moana (9:30pm) 947-2900 Brendan, Kelley O'Ne,/'s •9pm) 926-1777 Cory Oliveros, Ma, Ta, Bar Ala Woana (4pm) 947-2900 Shaun Reyes, Tiki's Grill er Bar ~pm) 923-8454 Ryan Tang Duo, Sheraton Woana (8 :30pm) 922-3111 . Stardust w/Rocky Brown, Jimmy Funai, Brian Robertshaw, Cobalt Lounge at the Hanoha110 Room (7:30pm) 922-4422 Tavana, O'Toole's Pub (8pm) 536-4138 Zaysha from Kanalo, Volcano Joe's (7pm) 941-8449

VARIOUS Open Mic Night, An11a Bannana's (9pm) 946-5190

11/Tuesday COMEDY Talkln' Nuts, rRed Elephant Coffeho11se (7pm)

HAWAIIAN Kelly Boy & Kapena, Tiki's Grill & Bar (5pm) 923-8454 Robert Cazimero, Chai's Bistro (7pm) 585·0011 Christian & Sani, Tiki's Grill & Bar (9pm) 923-8454 Darrell Aquino, Mai Tai Bar, .\la \1oana (4pm) 947-2900 Darrell Aquino Duo, Sheraton Moana (8:30pm) 922-3111 Holunape, Aku Bone Lounge (7:30pm) 589-2020 Ka'ala Boys, Sheraton Waikiki (6pm) 922-4422 Kau Kahe, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Kelly DeUma 'Ohana, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (7:30pm) 923-7311 Ho'oheno, House Without a Key (5pm) 923-2311


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Q&A •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

vs. MOX INTERVIEW BY KALANI WILHELM

Three seasons ago, Jonah Moananu was part of the local songbird trio-which included Camille Velasco and Jasmine Trias-that sparked Hawai'i's infatuation with American Idol. Although he was the first of the three to leave the show, Moananu came home to an al~ ready strong rep as a freestyle emcee with punchline prowess and a B.I.G.~style flow you didn't dare mess with.

It was big local news when Trias and Velasco went on to pursue their solo careers, but lurking just under the radar was Moananu. And he's back as Big MOX (though he never really left), with a new album in stores and a mad hunger for the game-listen up and watch your plate lunch people because Big Mox and his crew are in the building.

Many people know you from your American Idol appearance. Why don't you fill people in on what else you're about? Well I'm definitely about the food! Nah kidding ... but yeah, aside from the whole American Idol thing I also teach drama for the Alliance for Drama Education out of Farrington High School. I'm also a big hip-hop head. One thing I have to clear up from the show is that I am not the beatbox champ of Hawai 'i. At the time, I was the emcee battle champ. They just kind of got mixed up and called me both, and asked me to beat box on the show.

What do you say when someone says, "Hey, weren't you the guy on ldoP." Well, it depends on who it is. If it's a hot girl, or a cop then ... nah, it's cool. It's cool that people still remember me from the show. I like even more that they find me approachable enough to come and say, "Hi." It's nice.

Knowing that your American Idol days are in the past, does the Idol thing bother you sometimes? No. Hell no. It's cool with me. If that's what they know me for, then that's cool. I will admit that sometimes people step to me the wrong way with that stuff and it gets me a little heated, but you can't be upset at someone for not knowing. My rule is that everyone gets one chance

for ignorance. After that, I can't help you.

Let's talk about the new album. Well, the album is titled Neccesary Rukkus, which is the label I'm working with now. I have three tracks on it and am featured on two others. "Get Loud" is more of a club track with a dope driving Tahitian drum background that jumps off nicely. In that song I'm just trying to get the people to move, and I got enough punch lines to keep you rolling at the same time. ''Roll With You" has more of an R&B vibe to it. The Whodunnit put a flip to the Lil' Kim and Biggie track, "Crush on You," and it came out dope. I had to give something for the islands, so I did a remake to Gerald Levert's "Cassanova."

Will there be any videos or touring? Definitely. We're talking to a few music video directors in both California and New Zealand. We're hoping to start touring in a few months as well. I'm currently working on my album, so we want to make sure we schedule everything accordingly.

What are the goals of the album? We want to give the people more of what they like, but at the same time introduce them to the new Rukkus sound. All of the artists-T.K., Joon, Mose and Mikey-bring a lot of musicality and original flavor to

•

the table. With our powers combined we make Captain Planet [laughs]. Maybe not but it's still something special.

Why do you see the album being a successful endeavor? Hands down it's a dope project. There is definitely something for everyone. You like island, we got island. You want R&B. We got R&B, we got tracks for you to dance to, for you to make love to, even tracks that take it to church. A lot went into it, and we hope to make out the same.

Is Jonah and MOX the same dude? They're one and the same. But there are things that I would do as MOX that I wouldn't do as Jonah and vice versa. For instance, battle. MOX battles, Jonah doesn't. Jonah sings, and MOX doesn't. They are both me. It's just that they surface at different times.

What's your place in the 808 hiphop scene? Wow. A place in 808 hip-hop. That sounds cool, but I have no idea. I'm kind of a big guy so is there room for me? [Laughs]. But seriously, sheesh man, I don't know. There are a lot of heads that I consider OGs in the scene who rep and still rep today, so I just want to do the same. Not so much in any place but right next to everyone else trying to bring the islands up. •

THE SPRING

WIND QUINTET with composer and slack-key master

Keola Beamer 7:30pm, April 10, 2006 Doris Duke Theatre, Honolulu Academy of Arts

Tickets: $20 Seniors: $15 Students: Free

Call 489-5038 or visit www.chambermusichawaii.com

The Muses Tartan Day Celebration Thursday April 6, 8 p.m.Doors 7:30 UH Campus Center Ballroom $15

Tix available at the door or:

-.honoluh-'dy.com • April 5-11, 2006 • Honolulu Weekly 17

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NO lfll•o -ji;J .~. 1i' £a~

AOAD OF ~THIIIC lofATJl5'0 0 •

TIDES - April 5 to April 11 WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY

11AM NOON 6PM "" NOON OPM . aAM NOON 6PM MM NOON 6PM » NOON 6PM "" .,

Moon Phases: LAST QUARTER-Apr 20 NEW MOON-Apr 27 FIRST QUARTER-Apr 5 FULL MOON-Apr 13 Tide times and heights are for Honolulu Harbor. Tide and moon information supplied by Doug Behrens Design.

. A-om Page 16

Pa'ahana Trio, Sheraton Moana (5:30pm) 922-3111 Backyard Pa'ina Trio, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (6:15pm) 931-4660 Sean Na'auao Duo, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (4:15pm) 923-7311 Ellsworth Simeona, Duke's Waikiki (10pm) 922-2268 Ells Simeona & Dwight Kanae, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (4:15pm) 923-731i · Haumea Warrington, Duke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 "Auntie Pudgie" Young and Hawaiian Serenaders, Kuhio Beach Hula Stage (6pm) 843-8002

JAZZ/BLUES Rich Crandall & Friends, Studio 6 (8pm) 596-2123 Bruce Hamada & Jim Howard, Lewers Lounge (8:30pm) 923-2311 DeShannon Higa & grOOve.imProV.arTiSts, Indigo (8:30pm) 521-2900 Swingin' Tradewinds Jass Band, Jazz Minds Arts & Oife (9pm) 945-0800

ROCK/POP Bongo Bob & Tavana, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777 Furious Floyd, Bobby G's Spot (9pm) 926-7066 ISO, Detox (9pm) 526-0200 Soulbucket, Moana Terrace (6:30pm) 922-6611 Stardust w/Rocky Brown, Yvette Nii, Brian Robertshaw, Cobalt Lounge at the Hanohano Room (7:30pm) 922-4422

ROCK/POP Hot Rain, Mai Tai Bar, Ala Moana (9:30pm) 947-2900

Concerts 6 Clubs April Foolish Party Rock your world at the 20th annual party- a fundraiser for Make-AWish Hawaii-with The Kingpins, Bluzilla and fabulous door prizes. Ages 21 & over. Aloha Tower Marketplace. Fri 4/7, 5pm-mid-

night. $25 advance; $30 door includes one drink and heavy piipii. 537-3118 Bach to the Future: An Evening of Suites, Concerti and a Premiere Henry Miyamura conducts the UH Symphony. Revel in Bach's Brandenberg Concerto No. 2, a performance by the winner of the UH music department student concerto competition, a premiere work by Michael Foumai and more. Blaisdell Concert Hall, 777 Ward Ave.: Mon 4/10, 8pm. Free. hawaii.edu/uhmusic, 95-MUSIC The Bouncing Souls And special guests. Presale tickets available at 808shows. Pink Cadillac, 478 'Ena Rd, Waikiki: Sat 4/8, 7pm. $13 advance; $15 door. 808shows.corn/presale.html 'i Broadway at the Shanghai Bistro Don Conover (on piano) is joined by cabaret veteran Rex Nockengust performing theatrical favorites. Piano music before and after. Shanghai Bistro, Discovery Bay: Every Fri & Sun, 8pm. $20 includes piipii platter and one drink. 955-8668 Celebrating Hawai'i's Musical Artists The

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THI IIINI ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Hawaii Youth Symphony begins its spring concert series with Youth Symphony I and guest pianist Thomas Yee, under the baton of omnipresent Henry Miyamura, premiering works by Hawai'i composers Takeo Kudo and 18-year-old Michael Foumai. Youth Symphony II, Concert Orchestra and the String Program present concerts later in the month. Hawaii Theatre, 1130 Bethel St.: Sun 4/9, 3pm. $8-$18. hawaiitheatre.com, 528-0506 A Celebration of Collaboration: Three New Films by Robert Pennybacker and Friends Films include: Dreams of a Pagan Tattooed Savage, written by Lopaka Kanapui; Jazz & The Creative Act-improvisation through jazz, dance, and free-form painting with (live) music from the Honolulu Jazz Quartet, dancer Pam Sandridge and painter Lauren Okano and Suite for Two starring Donalyn Dela Cruz and Lopaka Kapanui. Punahou School Chapel. Wed 4/5, 8pm. Free. [email protected] Chamber Music Class Concert 1-Bei Lin presents her students in their end-of-the-semester concert. Orvis Auditorium. Thu 4/6, 7:30pm. Free. hawaii.edu/uhmmusic, 95-MUSIC Contra Dance Kaimana Ceili provides live music as you learn Irish jigs and reels. All dances are taught. Kapi'olani Community College Chapel, 4303 Diamond Head Rd.: Sat 4/8, 7:30pm. $5. 392-8774 Indigenous Rites The art and music expo showcases innovative artists from Honolulu. Catch work by Joel Albanez and Tino, an Afro-Cuban drum/chant ensemble, capoeira, ska/rock band Slow Tymers, hip-hop, undergorund theater and more. All ages welcome. Ong King Art Center, 184 N. King St. (Chinatown): Fri 4/7, 5pm-2am. $10. ongking.com, 306-7823 'i Kanye West The six-time Grammy winner raps into Honolulu. Tickets at all Ticketmaster outlets and the Blaisdell Box Office. (See page 14.) Blaisdell Arena, 777 Ward Ave.: Sun 4/9, 7:30pm. $49.50. ticketmaster.com, (877) 750-4400, 591-2211 Michael Bolton CANCELLED He said he loved you but he lied. Get your refund from the place you got your ticket. 591-2211 'i' Mozart's 250th Anniversary Concert Happy birthday Wolfgang. Celebrate the master by giving a listen to his Requiem, K. 626 performed by the Honolulu Symphony, the Symphony chorus and choirs from Africa, New Zealand and Japan in the last concert conducted by Karen Kennedy. Also on the bill: Mozart's "Jupiter" Symphony and Ibert's "Hommage a Mozart," conducted by Joan Landry. (See page 14.) Blaisdell Concert Hall, 777 Ward Ave.: Fri 4/7, 8pm & Sun 4/9, 4pm. 591-2211 Open Mic at Ono Pono Share your vibrations as poets, musicians and other performance artists gather on campus for this weekly event. Ono Pono provides the vegetarian grinds. Ono Pono, UH-Manoa Sustainability Courtyard: Every Wed, 8:30pm. Free. 343-2214 Salsa Dance Dance the night away with the club sound of DJ Rod el Moreno, snacks, refreshments and free parking at this smokefree party. Dream to Dance Studio, 661 Auahi St, 2nd floor: Sat 4/8, 8:30pm halfhour lesson; 9pm-midnight dance. $5. 734-0264, 372-5574 Society of Seven with Lani Misalucha The Las Vegas act comes home with the "Philippine Entertainer of the Year." "Little" Albert Maligmat joins his former colleagues. Hawaii Theatre, 1130 Bethel St.: Fri 4/7, & Sat 4/8, 7:30pm; Sat 4/8, 2pm. $45-$65. hawaiithe-

atre.com, 528-0506 Something Old, Something New Chamber Music Hawaii's Spring Wind Quintet defies time with a concert of works by Keola Beamer, John Harbison, Alexander vonZernlinsky, Carl Reinecke and Mozart (as arranged by Martha Schweitzer). Mon 4/10, Doris Duke Theatre, 7:30pm. $20 general; $15 seniors/military; students free with I.D. chambermusichawaii.com, 489-5038 Tartan Day Concert Don yer kilts and ghillies ye lads and lassies for a festive evenin' of Celtic merriment with The Muses and Molly's Revenge Campus Center Ballroom, UHManoa campus: Thu 4/6, 8pm. $15. 926-4711, 223-3997 UH Gamelan Ensemble Originally scheduled for 4/1, the Hawai'i Gamelan Society presents this visual and aural feast of Indonesian culture. If it's raining, find them indoors at Orvis Auditorium. Music Dept. Courtyard, UHManoa campus: Sat 4/8, 7:30pm. $12 & $8. 956-8742 UH Saxophone Choir Director Todd Yukumoto assembles his students, alumni and professionals for this concert, which includes two orginal arrangements by Jason Chin and Tom Bingham. Orvis Auditorium. Sun 4/9, 4pm. $10 & $6. hawaii.edu/uhrnmusic, 95-MUSIC

On Sale Damian Marley The master has come back. Junior Gong follows the trail started by his famous family as he sets the standard for "new age reggae." Tickets at all Ticketmaster outlets and the Blaisdell Box Office. Waikiki Shell, Kapi'olani Park: Sun 4/23, 7:30pm. $35 reserved seating; $25 general. ticketmaster.com, (877) 750-4400 Electric Blue IONA Contemporary Dance Theatre premieres its brand new work on Earth Day weekend, featuring mythical tales of ocean lore, love and laughter fused with aerial acrobatics and video. The water-themed work was created partly from performances on public beaches. Hawaii Theatre, 1130 Bethel St.: Fri 4/21 through Sun 4/23. hawaiitheatre.com, 528-0506 Fil-Am Comedy Jam Ill Use despise in a sentence. "Who baked all despise?" Thirik the Filipino comics lined up for Jam III-Mel Cabang, Shawn Felipe, Edwin San Juan, Joey Guila and Lanai from Island 9 8 .5- are a whole lot funnier? We think you're right. Hawaiian Hut, Ala Moana Hotel, 410 Atkinson Dr.: Sat 4/15, 9-llpm. $25. islandtix.com, (781) 405-4310 Honolulu Men's Chorus Park curbside or in the underground municipal lot for this free concert. The chorus joins Stockholm's Gay Choir as it makes Honolulu its first stop on its first USA tour. Mission Memorial Auditorium, Civic Center grounds: Wed 4/12, 7pm. Free. 429-9600 Jo Koy and Friends The Laugh Factory presents the Vegas comedy club staple. Tickets on sale at Jelly's, T&T Tinting, MWR offices, UH Campus Center and The Wave. Wave Waikiki, 1877 Kalakaua Ave.: Thu 4/13 & Fri 4/14. $26 ages 21 & over; $31 ages 18-20. 941-0424, ext. 12 'i Kokua Festival Help support environmental education programs in Hawai'i at this annual event with Jack Johnson, Willie Nelson & the Planetary Bandits, Ben Harper, Henry Kapono, Paula Fuga and the One Love


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A BYU Hawai'i prof says he can prove that Shakespeare authored a sequel to Richard II

Lost Bard BRYAN COLLINS 'What's in a name? That

which we call a rose, by any other word,

would smell as sweet." Perhaps that's true, but who gets

the writing credit is a whole other story. A new publication by Brigham Young University Hawai 'i English professor Michael Egan, makes the case that an authorless play is the work of none other than Shakespeare himself. According to Egan, the correct title of the play is The Tragedy of Richard II, Part One. It has been known to lovers of Elizabethan works as Woodstock or Thomas of Woodstock. The original handwritten manuscript, created between 1590 and 1595, was made public by the British Library in 1865: However, some parts were missing-namely the front cover and several of the final pages. The absent cover page remains to this day the primary (and most obvious) reason the play' s authorship is in dispute. For over a century, literary scholars-and probably more than a few beleaguered literature undergads-have been speculating about who really wrote the play. The credit has always gone to one highly prolific writer: Anonymous.

If it looks like Shakespeare This is where Egan begins his uphill journey. Though not the first to think that Richard II, Part One is a legitimate work of the Bard, Egan has certainly put together the most comprehensive and compelling set of arguments that this is so. In fact, he has compiled three volumes of arguments, which have been published as four separate books. For the less academic or voracious reader, the first volume will suffice. It contains an introduction to the history of the play, some of the major arguments regarding its authorship and the full text.

Beyond being fodder for debate, the play has been performed on sL: ,e several times during the last ~-: 5-ears. It was while watching a 1999 production of the play that Egan first became convinced that it was written by Shakespeare. This idea, which some may have dismissed as nothing more than just a nagging suspicion, became a sixyear scholarly quest.

The work on his book was made more challenging by a recent move from the mainland. He originally came to Hawai 'i in 1986 as part of a faculty exchange between the University of Massachusetts and the University of Hawai 'i-Manoa. During that time he met his wife, who is from Maui, on the beach in

Waikiki. After three years on O'ahu he returned to Massachusetts until 2002, when the couple relocated permanently to Hawai 'i. Egan found work teaching at BYU, where he was recently honored as the school's first and only scholar in residence.

And it sounds like Shakespeare His scholarly tendencies are certainly displayed in his extensive work in which each of the three volumes are packed with information, references and citations. To build his case, Egan first used imaging software to clarify the original, then searchable text programs and other computerized information to compare word usage, story lines and references in Richard II, Part One with many of Shakespeare's official works. In total, Egan amassed more than 1,000 pieces of evidence to support his claim. He says that if it wasn't for technology there would have been "simply too much information for one mind to keep in order."

Egan's work is essentially a com-

parison of this play to Shakespeare's other works as a means of building a compelling case that Richard II, Part One is the Bard's. Egan's analysis of Shakespeare's style, historical references and plot construction across several different plays provides insight into what makes Shakespeare's work distinctiveand how the authorless play fits the criteria for such distinction.

Richard II, Part One deals with the War of the Roses-period in English history, the same subject matter that connects Shakespeare's other historical plays, such as Henry N and Richard lll. Egan's title, Richard II, Part One is a reference to Shakespeare's play, Richard II, which he proposes is actually the sequel. The play itself certainly has the setting, subjects and style of Shakespearean plays. The story includes murder, family rivalry, corruption, debauchery-and of course wry wit with some lovely turns of phrase. The main character, Richard, is a young king who is given full power by his uncles, then begins to squander the resources of the kingdom. Naturally, his uncles begin to have second thoughts about giving him the thronetragedy ensues.

It's probably Shakespeare Despite all of his research, Egan still has a ways to go before he reaches his goal. The academic world is littered with the corpses of previous attempts to establish plays as being the work of Shakespeare. The debate about authorship often goes on for years. And Egan doesn't expect his theory to go uncontested. Ultimately, his goal is to get the word out on Shakespeare and on this little known "gem of a play"-and if people happen to agree that the Bard has struck again, that wouldn't be so bad either. •

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Galleries •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Size doesn't matter at the University of Hawai 'i's International Shoebox Sculpture Show

Have art, will travel

Eli Baxter's "Valve Venus"

MARCIA MORSE

T hese days it is wise to travel light, taking no more than one needs and, if there is space, a few

things that one desires. The idea of creating sculpture that would fit in the space of a shoebox (and thus be easy to pack and ship) was the brainchild, more than 20 years ago, of University of Hawai 'i professors Mamoru Sato and Fred Roster. Cultivated by UH Gallery Director Tom Klobe, the idea developed into a series of triennial traveling exhibitions that are now international in scope: Participants include artists from across the U.S. (with Hawai'i well represented), east and southeast Asia, Australia, South Africa and several European nations.

While they may travel light, the small scale of these works often be-

. - ~ .

Connie Ding-Kuen Lane's "Seated Suit"

lies their conceptual weight, and that is where the interest and the pleasure lies. As Klobe has noted in the forward to the fully-illustrated catalogue that accompanies the exhibition, " ... for some artists, the diminutive scale often presents a challenge, [but] the size limitation almost always helps to generate a sculptural art rich with intricate detail ... " It is also worth noting that while many sculptors create maquettes or small models of works they intend to realize on a larger scale, these works, though small, must be seen as fuUy developed and independent.

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May lzumi's "My Private Civil War"

prior "shoebox" exhibitions, there are a few themes or conceptual strands that do emerge as dominant interests among the participating artists. Several of the 120 participants, not unexpectedly, make reference to the frame of the reference for the exhibition itself: the box, or what fits within the box, thus invoking notions of concise, even secretive containment. Suzanne Wolfe's stoneware box that contains what appears to be a truncated torso of antique shards embedded in a skin

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Tracy Gunn's "Sopu"

David Hamilton's "Fragment"

perverse things with inner tube valves and, in a particularly poignant work, Tran Ngoc Anh asks us to consider the re-use of a soldier's helmet from the Vietnam War.

of clay, Linda Kane's cigar box 'bf old letters completely wrapped in a layer of wax in which are embedded vintage images and Sam Richardson's sculpture, opened to revealed a shoe last to which wings have been attached, are just a few of those making explicit use of the exhibition's framing device.

Still others play with the notion of scale itself, most often by invoking our most immediate frame ofreference: the human body itself-including feet. Look for former islander Mirella Monti Belshe's rendering-in tapa-of the foot of Michelangelo's David, Ann Coddington Rast' s baby legs, Liguo Liu's pairs of porcelain shoes. By invoking the familiar (the size and scope of the body), these and other works work their magic by drawing us in to a world where big and small get turned upside down. •

Many others employ found or unconventional materials, organic and fabricated, that are particularly effective in the intimate context of this exhibition. Kate Budd, like Kane and others, uses wax, a wonderfully malleable material that can also suggest glass or flesh. Johannette Rowley wraps a teapot in a reticulated fish skin, Eli Baxter does deliciously

The 9th International Shoebox Sculpture Show, at the University of Hawai'i Art Gallery through Thu 4/13

DIAMOND HEAD The Mystery of THROUGH

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THE ACTOR'S THROUGH GROUP Betrayal APRIL 16

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WWW.HAWAII.EDU/KENNEDY With Eugene Ionesco FRI & SAT 8:00PM

(808) 956-2598 Directed by Glenn Cannon SUN 2:00PM

www.honoluluweekJy.com • April 5-11, 2006 • Honolulu Weekly 23

CJne :J{ono{u{u :Men's Cnorus nosts

The Stockholm Gay Men's Chorus on the Hawaii stop of their Nationwide Tour

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'Ohana Band and ALO. Wed 4/i9 (Maui Arts and Cultural Center) & Sat 4/22 (Waikiki Shell). $17.50-$35. (808) 242-SHOW (Maui), ticketmaster.com, (877) 750-4400 (O'ahu) The Marijuana-Logues Tommy Chong (Cheech's other half) lights up the Blaisdell with good old universally appealing pot humor. Tickets at all Ticketmaster outlets, Blaisdell Box Office and Hawaii's Natural High. Blaisdell Concert Hall, 777 Ward Ave.: Fri 5/26, 7:30pm. Tickemaster.com, (877) 750-4400 Pacific Alliance Gymnastics Champi· onships NBC Sports will televise the action of the Pacific Rim's best athletes in artistic gymnastics at the Neal Blaisdell Center and rhythmic gymnastics and trampoline at the Hawai'i Convention Center. Thu 4/13 through Sat 4/15. $30 & $15; $75 & $45 for all-session packages. usa-gymnastics.org, Ticketmaster.com, (877) 750-4400 Rhythm is the Cure Alessandra Belloni presents original songs, Italian percussion and trance dance, with musical guests Moussa Bangora and Reggae Mcgowen. Relax with a chair massage, ritualistic rhythms and fresh piipii provided by Kimberly Clarke. rRed Elephant, 1144 Bethel St.: Sat4/25. $25. honoluluboxoffice.com, 389-2227

Theater 6 Dance Arsenic and Old Lace Maryknoll students perform the 1939 Joseph Kesselring comedy about the drama critic, the Boris Karloff lookalike, the crazy brother who thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt and the spinster aunts who murder old men with arsenic then hide the corpses. Maryknoll High School, 1402 Punahou St.: Fri 4/7 & Sat 4/8, 7:30pm. 395-8643 'i' Betrayal The Actors' Group presents this Harold Pinter play, directed by Liz Kane, which explores the interrelationships of a love triangle. Told in reverse chronological order, the audience is privvy to info the characters have yet to find out. Yellow Brick Studio, 625 Keawe St.: Runs through Sun 4/16, Thu-Sat, 7:30pm; Sun, 4pm. $15 general; $13 seniors; $12 students. honoluluboxoffice.com, 550-TIKS Cirque Hawaii Witness state-of-the-art entertainment and the spectacular feats of dancers, acrobats, clowns, contortionists and much more. For the month of April, Hawai'i residents and active military personnel can get two tickets for the price of one at equal or lesser value. Cirque Hawaii Theatre, former IMAX in Waikiki: Two shows nightly, 6:30 & 8:30pm. $42-$130. cirquehawaii.com, 922-0017 Electric Blue IONA Contemporary Dance Theatre presents its last beach peek at its spring production. Kailua Beach. Sun 4/9, 6pm. 941-6485 'i' Fugate/Bahlri Ballet NY Ballet NY founders Judith Fugate and husband Medhi Bahiri present exciting ballet. Experience the charisma and athleticism one night only as the Ballet NY dancers explode across the stage. (See page 14.) Leeward Community College Theatre. Sat 4/8, 8pm. $23 adults; $19 students. balletny.org, 455-0380 'i' The Gin Game An elderly couple meets,

plays gin, argues and contemplates life on their run-down nursing home patio in this Pulitzer Prize-winning play by D.L. Coburn, starring Joyce Maltby and Don Pomes, directed by Mitchell Milan. Hawai'i Pacific University Theatre, 45-045 Kamehameha Hwy., Kane'ohe: Runs through 4/16, Thu, 7:30pm; Fri & Sat, 8pm; Sun, 4pm. $3-$20. 375-1282 Li'I Abner Daisy Mae comes to life in this musical comic strip directed by Karen Meyer. Ronald E. Bright Theatre, Castle High School, 45-386 Kane'ohe Bay Dr.: Through 4/9 $15 adults; $10 students. 233-5626 The Mystery of Edwin Drood Greg Zane directs and choreographs the musical mystery that has you, the audience, determing the outcome. Diamond Head Theatre, 520 Makapu'u Dr.: Runs through 4/9, Thu-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 4pm; Sat, 3pm. 733-0274 On the Spot: Da Pa'ina Take a humorous look at local culture with the On the Spot improv group. The ARTS at Marks Garage, 1159 Nu'uanu Ave.: Sat 4/8, 8pm. $5. honoluluboxoffice.com, 550-TIKS Pippin Chaminade University's drama department presents the Bob Fosse classic directed by Brad Powell. Mamiya Theatre, St. Louis High School, 3142 Wai'alae Ave.: Thu 4/6 through Sun 4/9, Thu-Sat, 7:30pm; Sun 4pm. $10 adults; $5 students/seniors/Chaminade faculty/staff and family members. 735-4827 'i' The Songmaker's Chair International award-winning writer Albert Wendt penned this drama about conflict, continuity and change in three generations of an extended Samoan family. Directed by Dennis Carroll. Kumu Kahua Theatre. Runs through 4/15, Thu-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. $5-$16. kumukahua.org, 536-4441 The Work The Dark Night Series presents 4 5 "F" Words, by Chris Doi, in a director's challenge: Two directors direct the same play in the same allotted time, with the same actors and on the same night in front of a live audience. This night's directors: Dusty Behner and Nicole Tessier. Tue 4/11, 7:30pm. $5. 536-4441 You're a Good Man Charlie Brown Visit with Charlie, Linus, Lucy, Schroeder, Sally, Peppermint Patty, Marcy, Pig Pen, Frieda and Snoopy in the musical version of Charles Schultz's comic strip classic. Paliku Theatre, Windward Community College: Opens Fri 4/7, runs through 4/15, Fri, 7:30pm; Sat & Sun, 2pm. $19 adults; $16 seniors/military; $9 students. Bring a blanket for "Loving Linus Night" Fri 4/7 and receive the $16 disco1:111t. etickethawaii.com, 235-7433

Auditions Karaoke Contest Carry a tune all the way to Laughlin, Nev. for the finals. You must be able to travel 9/23 through 10/1. Visit participating establishments between now and July to qualify. Mondays: Leeward Bowl and E Lounge; Wednesdays: Anyplace Lounge and Dot's Wahiawa; Thursdays: Eastside Grill; Fridays: Wailana Lounge; Satl;fdays: Princess Cafe and Plaza Hotel; Sundays: Can's Bar & Grill. 842-7003 Life is a Dream Director Ashley Larson needs 12 actors-adults, male & female-for The Lizard Loft's upcoming production of Pedro Calderon de la Barca's 17th-century

comic drama. The show opens in June. The ARTS at Marks Garage, 1159 Nu'uanu Ave.: Wed 4/5 & Thu 4/6, 7-lOpm. 781-5157 Our Town The Actors' Group holds auditions for Thornton Wilder's classic, running 9/13 through 10/15. Call director David Schaeffer if you're interested. Yellow Brick Studio, 625 Keawe St.: Sat 4/8, llarn-lpm & Sun 4/9, noon-3pm. 247-9952 Unlikely Lawmen Joe Moore wrote (and stars in) this western play based on the book The Lawmen by Robert Broomall. Director Bill Ogilvie needs 13 men and two women for speaking roles; production dates 6/8 through 6/17. Auditions consist of readings from the script and some physicalization-wear loose clothing. KHON Fox 2, Conference Room, 88 Pi'ikoi St.: Fri 4/7, 7pm & Sat 4/8, 2pm. 988-6131

Museums Bishop Museum 1525 Bernice St. Open daily 9am-5pm. $14.95 adults; $11-95 yauth.age 4-12; under 4 free. bishopmuseum.org, 847-3511 ~ Ku I Ka Ni'o: Celebrating Six Master

Artists Six Native Hawaiian visual artistsRocky Jensen, Imakalani Kalahele, Herb Kane, Mary Lou Kekuewa, Marie McDonald and Ipo Nihipali-are celebrated for their contributions and for the promotion of Native Hawaiian arts in the community for many years. On view in the Vestibule Gallery. Runs through 7/9.

Science on a Sphere A 68-inch, 200-pound white fiberglass sphere is suspended from an aluminum structure, which serves as a 3-D movie screen with animated images from satellites and other geophysical and astronomical data sources. Bishop Museum is one of only four centers in the U.S. to house this permanent exhibit. The Contemporary Museum 2411 Makiki Heights Dr. Open Tue-Sat, 10am-4pm; Sun, noon-4pm. $5 adults; $3 students/seniors (free every third Thursday of the month). 526-1322

0 2 Art 2: Michael Lin-Tennis Dessus Last spring the Taiwanese artist created a site-specific painting in the formerly non-functional tennis court, incorporating a floral motif designed especially for Hawai'i.

Personal Affects: Power and Poetics in Contemporary South African Art Seventeen artists on the cutting edge of contemporary art are represented in this major exhibition from South Africa. View works in sculpture, drawings, photography, painting, installation and video. Runs through 5/7. The Contemporary Cafe 2411 Makiki Heights Dr. Tue-Sat, 11:30am-2:30pm; Sun, noon-2:30pm. Free. 526-1322

Photographs by Dana Forsberg, san shoppell and Mark Yoakum Refrigerator doors provide insight about their owners-Forsberg's friends and acquaintances; shoppell captures fleeting moments created by time and light; Yoakum focuses on the pinhole camera -as art object and medium. Runs through 4/30. The Contemporary Museum at First Hawaiian Center 999 Bishop St. Open Mon-Thu, 8:30am-4prn; Fri, 8:30am-6pm.Validated parking available; enter on Merchant St. 526-1322


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Seven of Hawai'i' s best female painters prove, once again, why they're the best

Looking up MARCIA MORSE

N adine Ferraro, Kloe Kang, Karen Lee, Birgitta Leitner, Katherine Love, Mary Mit

suda, Yida Wang-some of the best painters working in our community, in a space that gives their work breathing room, makes for a strong exhibition. Collectively working as "SEVEN," and not-coincidentally all women who studied at the University of Hawai'i-Manoa, these artists thrive on the synergy and solidarity that can develop among trusted and critical friends, each of whom pursues a very individual path of aesthetic inquiry.

SEVEN first exhibited at workspace gallery in 2004, and then at The Contemporary Cafe in 2005. Those venues provided important visibility but came with constraints of space. Now, in their third exhibition, curated and designed by UH Professor Emeritus Kenneth Bushnell, the artists of SEVEN have been able to work on a scale better suited to the scope of their vision. The lean and elegant installation al-

EARTH TALK~~

lows for important affinities to emerge, including the interchanges between drawing and painting in the work of Kang and Wang, the layered surfaces of Ferraro and Love, and the inquiries into organic form evident in the paintings of Lee, Leitner and Mitsuda.

Kang continues to explore the evocative qualities of her signature emblem, floating rice bowls, as well as diagrams of constellations to which her title "The Wayfinder" alludes. Wang, whose painterly drawings often seem conjured from smoke rather than charcoal and graphite, is a master of visual alchemy, shifting between ghostly passages on a dark ground to sinuous dark lines on white paper, or rich but elusive black on black.

Ferraro subdues layers of intense color beneath a smooth, pale veil in "Wake" but allows those colors to bloom joyfully in "Ease." In each work there is the intimation of structure below the surface, a visual geology we are invited to excavate. In contrast, Love works from the surface up, using layers

Questions & Answers About Our Environment

Dear Earth Talk: With the recent hubbub over the chemicals used to make Teflon linked to health problems, what is the safest cookware to use in preparing meals for my family?

-Wyatt Walley, Needham, MA.

When the health risks associated with making Teflon first came to light last year, many cooks trashed their non-stick cookware and went back to using their old stainless steel pots and pans. But what many people didn't realize was that even stainless steel is not immune to controversy regarding health impacts.

In fact, stainless steel is really a mixture of several different metals, including nickel, chromium and molybdenum, all of which can trickle into foods. However, unless your stainless steel cookware 1s dinged and pitted, the amount of metals likely to get into your food is negligible.

These days, many health conscious cooks are turning to anodized aluminum cookware as a safer alternative. The electro-chemical anodizing process locks in the cookware's base metal, aluminum, so that it can't get into food, and makes for what many cooks consider an ideal nonstick and scratch-resistant cooking surface. Calphalon is the leading manufacturer of anodized aluminum cookware, but newer offerings from All Clad (endorsed by celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse)

and others are coming on strong. Another good choice is that old stand

by, cast iron, which is known for its durability and even heat distribution. Cast iron cookware can also help ensure that eaters in your house get enough ironwhich the body needs to produce red blood cells-as it seeps off the cookware into food in small amounts. Unlike the metals that can come off of some other types of pots and pans, iron is considered a healthy food additive by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Consumers should be aware, though, that most cast iron cookware needs to be seasoned after each use and as such is not as worry-free as other alternatives. Lodge Manufacturing is the leading American producer of cast iron cookware.

For those who like the feel and heat distribution properties of cast iron but dread the seasoning process, ceramic enameled cookware from Le Creuset, World Cuisine and others is a good choice. The smooth and colorful enamel is dishwasher-friendly and somewhat non-stick, and covers the entire surface of such cookware to minimize clean-up headaches. One other surface favored by chefs for sauces and sautes is copper, which excels at quick warm-ups and even heat distribution. Since copper can leak into food in large amounts when heated, the cooking surfaces are usually lined

claw narcissus. Leitner-for whom wofking on an expanded scale may have been a bit of stretch-has risen to the occasion beautifully in two studie:, of pod forms, glowing with life and sensuality, set against a deep red ground. Where Leitner focu<;e~ on a single magnified form, Miu,uda embraces an entire field 11 1er "Veiled Garden" paintings, orchestrating the viscous qualities of thin layers of color that drip and flow, responding to subtle manipulation as delicate stems, leaves and blossoms emerge from the surface.

Ylda Wang's "Guardedness" In charcoal, graphite and conte

As a playful but also educative prologue to the exhibition. each artist is represented by a gathering of materials at the entrancesketches and notations. photos, fragments of nature, tools, a paintladen apron. They provide some

of vintage fabric and crochet, drawings, photocopied images and overlays of painted passages and diagrammatic elements as part of her ongoing interest in the constructed nature of gendered domestic experience.

Lee's "narcissus series" makes

with tin or stainless steel. But if you're concerned about the

build-up of solid waste in our landfills, don't trash your non-stick cookware just yet. According to DuPont, the finished product ofTeflon does not contain any of the production-process chemicals linked to health problems in factory workers. And the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency says that ingesting small particles of Teflon flaked off into food is not known to cause any health maladies. With proper use and care, such pots and pans-which constitute more than half of all cookware sales in the U.S.-should be safe to use for years to come.

The College ofTropical Agriculture and Human Resources at the University of Hawai'i-Manoa hosts a comprehensive website on consumer food safety, dispelling myths and issuing alerts and recall information at ctahr.hawaii.edu/foodsafety-ces.

CONTACTS: Calphalon, www.calphalon.com, All-Clad, www.allclad.com, Lodge Manufacturing, www.lodgemfg.com, Le Creuset, www.lecreuset.com, World Cuisine, www.world-cuisine.com.

Dear EarthTalk: I've heard that gaspowered lawn mowers, despite their small engine size, actually pollute as much as cars. If this is true, is there a greener way to cut my grass? -Jon Haufe, Seattle, WA

Reports about those noxious fumes emitted from gasoline lawn mowers are indeed true. A Swedish study conducted in 2001 concluded, "Air pollution from cut-

the most of the narrative possibilities of a sequence of images, using shifting combinations of repeated elements-a large figure with hunched shoulders, line drawings of swimmers, a small house-as an intriguing matrix for the preparation and ultimate flowering of a crab-

ting grass for an hour with a gasolinepowered lawn mower is about the same as that from a 100 mile automobile ride:' Meanwhile, the 54 million Americans mowing their lawns each weekend with gas-powered mowers may be contributing as much as five percent of the nation's air pollution, aq:ording to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).

The problem is that small engines emit disproportionately large amounts of carbon monoxide, volatile organic compounds and nitrogen oxides that contribute to smog. The human health effects of smog-laden air are well known, and include inflammation and damage to lungs, increased risk of asthma attacks, and lowered levels of oxygen in the bloodstream, which can aggravate heart conditions.

Fortunately, the EPA is now phasing in new emissions standards for gas mower engines that will result ind 32 percent smog reduction for all models made starting in 2007. And with even more stringent standards slated to go into effect soon in California, environmental leaders are hoping that the old adage for automobile trends ("as goes California, so goes the nation") will soon apply to lawn mowers too.

intriguing clues about the creation of these works and a salient reminder of the creative chaos that ushers in new growth. •

UP, an exhibition of new work by SEVEN, at the Academy Art Center through Sun 4/9

ing a net environmental savings from switching to electric mowers depends on the efficiency of the power plant" from where the electricity originates.

If money is not an issue, the $2,500 solar-powered "auto mower" from Husqvarna can't be beat for both eco-friendliness and convenience. It wanders unattended around any level lawn, its collision sensors carefully avoiding contact with anything but the grass itself. While it is currently not available directly in the U.S., some Husqvarna dealers are willing to special order it from Sweden where it is manufactured.

Another green option. and a much more affordable one, is the Solar Powered Mulching Mower from Gaiam, which is in essence a cordless electric Black & Decker mower modified with a small solar array to turn sunlight into power. The battery on the $795 mower can also be charged by simply plugging it in.

Of course, the greenest choice of all is the mower than runs on three square meals a day and a good exercise regimen: the venerable human-powered ree! mower. The most popular choices are from American Lawn Mower, which makes nine models including a child-size. They can be found at retailers like Ace Hardware and in catalogs like Real Goods and Smith & Hawken. Locally, Sears, City Mill, Lowe's and Home Depot all sell electric mowers. For solar-powered motors, you'll have better luck online.

But even with such progress, gas power is not the only option. Eco-conscious consumers looking for a new mower should consider, among other options, any of the electric models now available. The easy part is the price, as many models cost less than $200. The trade-off is that they only work for small lawns and must be tethered to a power outlet during use. Also, going electric is not necessarily a way to reduce pollution overall. According to Consumer Reports, "Achiev-

CONTACTS: Husqvarna, www.husqvarna.com; Gaiam, www.gaiam.com; American Lawn Mower, www.reelin.com.

GOT AN ENVIRONMENTAL QUESTION? Send it to: Earth Talk, c/o E/The Environmental Magazine, P.O. Box 5098, Westport, CT 06881; submit it at: www.emagazine.com/earthtalk/thisweek/, or e-mail: [email protected]. Read past columns at: www.emagazine.com/earthtalk/archives.php.

www.honoluluweeldy.com • April 5-11, 2006 • Honolulu Weekly 25

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Tropical Ref/ectio11: Drawings, Paintings and Sculpture by J11n Kaneko Ceramic sculptor Kaneko exhibits for the first time drawings from his Hawaiian Series, shown alongside his clay sculptures and dangos Uapanese for "closed form"). Runs through 6/6.

Over There: Paintings by Erika Klara Luecke Luecke's paintings, abstract in appearance at first glance, are described by the artist as "landscapes of places and memories" she has collected over the past 13 years. Originally from Berlin, Germany, Luecke presents her first major exhibition in Honolulu. Runs through 6/6. Hawai'i State Art Museum No. 1 Capitol District Building, 2SO S. Hotel St., 2nd Fl. Open Tue-Sat, 10am-4pm. Free. 586-0900

ART Day-Make Da Space to Create, &Jucate and Celebrate Artists Moana Meyer and Sandy Wood of DaSpace show keiki and families how to reuse, recycle and rebuild ordinary material into jmelry, stationery and other makeand-take activities. Sat 4/8, 1 lam-3pm. Free.

Art in Public Places This special exhibition chronicles the history and process of commissioning public art. Featured artists include Bumpei Akaji, Carol Bennett, Sean Browne, Ed Carpenter, Jean Charlot, Betty Ecke, Kazu Kauinana, Tadashi Sato and Michael Tom. Runs through 9/2.

Live from the Lanai: Hawaiian Country Kick back and relax to the lively sounds of The Squirrel Hunters, The Girlas and The Full Steppers at this First Friday musical treat. Fri 4/7, 5-9pm. Free. Honolulu Academy of Arts 900 S. Beretania St. Docenr-gruded tours are available, included in the admission price and self-guided digital audio tours are available for an additional $5. Open Tue-Sat, 10am-4:30pm; Sun, 1-5pm. $7 general, $4 seniors/military/students; free for kids 12 & under and museum members. honoluluacademy.org, 532-8700

Bank of Hawaii Free Sundays This month's event celebrates island life and cultures in "Pacific Island Festival," with live music, dance, video screenings, storytelling and other family fun. And it's free for all. Sun 4/10, llam-Spm.

Chinese Paintings on View View works by some of the most influential artists who lived and worked in the Shanghai art market during the second half of the 19th century in this Lee family internship special exhibition. Presented in two rotations. Runs through 7/15.

Island Shadows: Recent Works in Clay and Bronze Lecture A selection of artist David Kuraoka's work in ceramics, tile wall murals and bronze displays his exquisite use of shape, color and surface. Runs through 6/18.

Jose Clemente Orozco: The Man and the Muralist Orozco's son Clemente Orozco V talks about his father's murals and graphic works. Sun 4/9, 2pm.

Kapa Moe Made from the inner bark of the wauke plant, intricately designed Hawaiian sleep coverings are on display in the Textile Gallery. Through 4/9. ~ Life in the Pacific of the 1700s: The

Cook Forster Collection of the George August University of Giittingen Some 500 objects from New Zealand, Tonga, Tahiti and the Society Islands, the Marquesas, New Hebrides, New Caledonia, Hawai'i and the Northwest Coasr of America represent the most comprehensive presentation of 18th-century cultural objects from the Pacific ever presented here. The objects were collected during the voyages of Captain Cook between 1768 and 1779. And ... admission is free for everybody during rhe entire run of the show, every single day! Through 5/14.

Life i11 the Pacific of the 21st Century A companion to its 1700 counterpart, the exhibition depicts present-day traditional Pacific Island art and culture through documentary photography and interviews of community members conducted by a team of students. Runs through 5/14.

Masterpieces of Botanical Illustration: The Loy McCandless Marks Botanical Library On view are some of the finest illustrated books from 18th- and 19th-century botanical literature, Renaissance herbals and other historical botanical records. Opens Thu 4/6, runs through 5/14.

Persian Visions: Contemporary Photographs from Iran View the first survey of contemporary Iranian photography to be presented in the United States. More than 80 photographs make up the exhibition, providing a revealing view of Iranian life and experiences. Runs through Sun 4/9.

l Portraits of Persons, Views of Places a11d Historical Representations of Remarkable Incidents: John Webber's Images of Hawaii

On view are prints by the English-born Webber, official arcist under Captain James Cook during his third voyage into the Pacific (1776-1780), to complement the Life in the Pacific exhibition of artifacts collected during Cook's voyages. Runs through Sun 4/30.

Ukiyo-E Exhibition View the academy's stellar collection of prints in the James A. Michener and Japan galleries. Runs through 4/23.

Tour & Tea Learn about art from volunteer docents and socialize over a cup of tea. This week's program: "What? You Call this Stuff Art?" by Sheila James, Tue 4/11, 2:30-4pm. Academy Art Center at Unekona 1111 Victoria St. Open Tue-Sat, 10am-4:30pm; Sun, 1-5pm. Free admission. honoluluacademy.org, 532-8741

Bhutan: Mountains, Myths and Mysteries: Photographs by Celia Moore The self-taught photographer and world traveler recorded people and places of Bhutan on a ~003 visit to the Himalayan kingdom. Through 4/9. ~ Seven: Up Seven artists-Nadine Fer

raro, Kloe Kang, Karen Lee, Birgitta Leitner, Katherine Love, Mary Mitsuda and Yida Wang-present their work, revealing each individual's personal working process. New work has been specifically created for this exhibition by each artist. (See Museums, page 25.) Through 4/9.

Galleries Opening Aphrodite Speaks The exhibit, held in honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, focuses on the importance of healthy, loving relationships. Mercury Bar, 1154 Fort Street Mall: Opens Fri 4/7, runs through 4/30. christeeze.gmail.com Art Fair Artists showcase oil paintings, miniature prints and gemstone jewelry for the First Friday Gallery Walk. Fri 4/7. YWCA, 1040 Richards St.: 4:30-8:30pm. 538-7061 Christa Wood.ward Glass sculptures by ... Opens Sun 4/9, runs through 4/22. Hale'iwa Art Gallery. 637-3366 The Digital Advantage, by Carolyn Ward Clark and Saint Wayne Digitally generated fine art. Reception: First Fri 4/7, 5:30-7:30pm. Through 5/27. Cafe Che Pasta, 1001 Bishop St.: 524-0004 ·~ First Friday Get art at the monthly downtown walking tour of more than 25 participating galleries and museums with music, food and surprises everywhere. Check out the


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Weekly's map. 5-9pm. artsatmarks.com Inside Out, by Sanit Khewhok New oils on canvas. Reception: Fri 4/7, 5:30-7:30pm. Opens Fri 4/7, runs through 5/5. bibelot gallery, 1130 Koko Head Ave. Ste. 2: 738-0368 Kailua Second Sunday Gallery Walk Browse through open art galleries with demos, keiki activities, music and refreshments. Sun 4/9. 2-5pm. 263-4434 Keiko Thomas Watercolors by ... Opens Sun 4/9, runs through 4/22. Hale'iwa Art Gallery. 637-3366 'i MetroHAWAl'I: Gridlock and other Local Traditions More than 20 artists present mixed-media work presenting the city as we know it. (See page 14.) thirtyninehotel, 39 n. Hotel St.: Opens Fri 4/7, 6-9pm, runs through 5/20. 599-2552 Monsters Invade Prototype Watch live painting by Angry Woebot, an MPC set by Sentrlc and music by DJs Observ and Oliver Twist. Fri 4/7. Prototype, Pearlridge Uptown: 6-9pm. Free. 778-7738 Sacrad Relic Tour Sacred relics-mainly pearl-like beads collected from the ashes of spiritual masters after their cremation, and Buddhist artifacts-will travel the world until 2010 when they will be placed in the completed 500-foot Maitreya Buddha statue being built at Kushinagar, Uttar Pradesh in northern India. Catch them at the Convention Center Fri 4/7 through Sun 4/9. Hawai'i Convention Center, 1801 Kalakaua Ave.: 10am-8:30pm. Smart Tita's Rant and Rave DJ Prima B debuts at the first Rant & Rave at Daspace with special guest artists. Daword is da'art. First Fri 4/7. Daspace, 1192 Smith St.: 5-9pm. 351-4960 Transparency New work by 22 artists from the UH-Manoa glass program. Reception: Fri 4/21, 4-7pm with glass blowing demo. Opens Fri 4/7, runs through 5/5. Gallery 'Iolani, Windward Community College: 236-9155 Trunk Sale Featuring the new spring collection by Oaks Hawaii. Fri 4/7 & 4/8. Details Gallery, 1142 Bethel St.: Mon-Fri, 1 lam-5pm; Sat llam-3pm. 546-8000

Continuing Ador Quijano and Shizue Nakayama Through 4/30. Rehabilitation Hospital of the Pacific. 531-3511 Colorplay, by Barbara Edelstein Through 4/27. The Gallery at Ward Centre. 597-8034 Custom and Creativity: The Arts of the Upland Philippines Through 5/2. East-West

Center Gallery. 944-7177 Having Fun at Hawaii Potter's Guild First Fri, 4/7, 5-9pm; third Thu, 4/20, 5-8pm. Through 4/29. Louis Pohl Gallery. 521-1812 Hawaii Watercolor Society Annual Members' Exhibition Through 4/29. The ARTS at Marks Garage, 1159 Nu'uanu Ave.: 521-2903 HPU Annual Exhibition Through 4/28. HPU Art Gallery. 544-0287 KOA Award Exhibit, by Dodie Warren Gallery talks Wed 4/5, 12:30pm & 1:45pm; Thu 4/6, 1:45pm. Through 4/7. Koa Gallery, Kapi'olani Community College: 734-9375 Latest Ceramics, by Esther Nowell Through 4/27. The Gallery at Ward Centre. 597-8034 Lorena Long Through 4/30. Tea at 1024, 1024 Nu'uanu Ave.: 521-9596 Mo'ili'ili-The Life of a Community Through 5/5. Japanese Cultural Center of Hawai'i. jcch.com, 945-7633 Nature Prints, by Joan Allen Through 4/30. Ko'olau Gallery. 988-4147 Nature's Treasures: Carved and Sculpted Gourds, by Jennifer Rothschild Through 4127. The Gallery at Ward Centre. 597-8034 New Work, by Anita Benson, Warren Stenberg, Sus Sugihara and Hank Whit· tington Reception: Sun 4/9, 3:30-5:30pm. Through 4/30. Ho'omal11hia Gallery, 45-869 Luluku Rd., Kane'ohe: 262-8306 'i Ninth International Shoebox Sculpture Exhibition Through 4/13. (See Museums, page 23.) UH Art Gallery, UH-Manoa campus: 956-6888 Paula Nokes and Lauren Okano Through 6/23. Due's Bistro. 263-4434 Pua: Flowers and Poetry Through 5/5. Gallery on the Pali, 2500 Pali Highway: 595-4047 Pua Mai 'Ole: Flower That Never Fades Through 4/21. S11b-Zero/Wolf Showroom, corner of Pi'ikoi and King St.: 597-1647 Return to France: Paintings of Paris and Provence, by Roger Whitlock Through 4/27. The Gallery at Ward Centre. 597-8034 Tropical Overtones Through 5/7. Honolulu Country Club. geocities.com/association-hawaiiartists, 441-9401 Vietnamese Embroidery Through 4/8. Hale'iwa Art Gallery. 637-3368 Warren Stenberg Through 4/S-. Hale'iwa Art Gallery. 637-3368

Call To Artists Abilities 2007 Call to enter the mental health awareness juried show. Gallery on the Pali, 2500 Pali Highway: 539-3939 Fiber Hawaii 2006 The Hawaii Craftsmen is accepting submissions for its exhibition to be held 5/3 through 5/27. Drop works off on 4/30, 9am-noon. The ARTS at Marks Garage, 1159 Nu'uanu Ave.: 596-8128 Hawaii Wildlife Conservation Stamp Paint the grey francolin in Hawai'i habitat and you could win $1,000. Deadline is 4/7. dofaw.net, 587-0166 'Ohina Short FIim Showcase The 2006 local independent filmmakers showcase (8/4 & 8/5 at the Doris Dulce Theatre) is accepting entries: Films must be 30 minutes or shorter; films under 10 minutes strongly encouraged. Entry forms are available at all Blockbuster locations; deadline is Fri 6/2. $10 entry fee. 428-0100

Words African American uterary Reading Group Call ahead to know the book title for these reading group meetings. 1311 Kapi'olani Blvd., 6th floor: Every second and fourth Mon, 6:15-8:30pm. 597-1341 Brown Bag Biography Seminar The Center for Biographical Research at UH-Manoa presents weekly discussions. 4/6: "CEOs and Corporate Genealogies: From Jim Dole to Jack Welch" by Purnina Bose from Indiana University and Laura Lyons from the UH English department. Henke Hall Room 325, UHManoa: Every Thu, noon-l:15pm. Free. 956-3774 'i First Thursdays Kealoha hosts the monthly poetry slam. This month celebrates the event's third anniversary with rhe Honolulu Underground Theatre Collective. Top poet receives $100. Hawaiian Hut, Ala Moana Hotel, 410 Atkinson Dr.: Thu 4/6, 8:30pm. $3 before 8:30pm; $5 after. hawaiislam.com, 387-9664 James McCarthy The musician, storyteller and actor tells rarely performed tales for mature audiences in this First Friday treat. Kapolei Public Library, 1020 Manawai St.:

Fri 4/7, 8pm. Free. 693-7050 Saturday Morning Authors This week: UH English professor Rodney Morales presents his latest work When the Shark Bites-a novel about looking at one's actions in retrospect. Hamilton Library. Sat 4/8, 10:30-l l:30am. Free. 381-6610 The Seven Orchids Accomplished author Ian MacMillan from the UH-Manoa English department reads from his novel published by Bamboo Ridge Press. Hawai'i Institute for Geophysics Auditorium, UH-Manoa campus: Wed 4/5, 7pm reception; 7:30pm reading. Free. bambooridge.com, 626-1481 Writers Battle Writers are given a word to work on at home, and an on-site character challenge. Lasr time ir was "Jurassic" and "chicken," respectively. (Now try not to think of a beaked T-Rex.) Turntable set by DJ Solution and music from DJs BM13 and Memoirs. Prototype, Pearlridge Uptown: Sat 4/8, 6-9pm. 778-7738

Call to Authors Pitch the Publisher The Hawaii Book Publishers Association gives hopeful authors a 15-minute opportunity to pitch their product to leading local publishers ar the first Hawaii Book & Music Festival. Gain one-on-one feedback. No worries-Simon Cowell not in attendance. Honolulu Hale, 530 S. King St.: Sat 4/22 & Sun 4/23. Donations appreciated. hawaii books.org; to register: contact ang[email protected], 732-1709

h!!r~l~-•~,He, dricks teaches you how to protect yourself against identity theft and consumer fraud. Hilton Hawaiian Village. Sar 4/8, lOam-noon. Free. 843-1906, 545-6006 •curious George:" Taking the Monkey from Page to Screen The New Arts Lecture Series features Yarrow Cheney from Universal and Imagine Entertainment, who discusses the processes of taking George from book to movie. Kapi'ola11i Community College, Ohia 118: Wed 4/5, 6:30-Spm. Free. 734-9717 Handling Emotions and Moving from Conflict to Collaboration Discover techniques to prevent co-workers and employees from going ballistic and using vigilante tactics. Kathy Novak teaches you how to turn conflicts into opportunities for positive and productive results. Y11kiyoshi Room, Krauss Hall, UH-Manoa campus: Sat 4/8, 8:30am-4pm. $195. outreach.hawaii.edu/pnm, 956-8400 Hanauma Bay Education Program March's focus is "Exploring Hawai'i's Fisheries." Thu 4/6: Kekuewa Kikiloi discusses "Reconnecting with Ancestral Islands: An Exploration in the Most Remote Part of the Hawaiian Archipelago." Hana11ma Bay Nature Preserve, 100 Hanauma Bay Rd.: Every Thu, 6:30pm. Free. 397-5840 Lauhala Turtles Learn how to weave a sixinch turtle using lauhala. Bring your lunch and enjoy the garden. Foster Botanical Gardens, 180 N. Vineyard Blvd.: Wed 4/12, 4/19 & 4/26, 9:30am-2pm. $10 members; $12 nonmembers. 522-7064 Lunch Alive, Hawaiian Style Kauila Clark discusses Hawaiian traditions in balance with contemporary life for this WCC Brown Bag Learning Series. Hale Akoakoa, WCC. Thu 4/6, lunchtime. Free. 239-9146 Mo'ili'lli NeighbQrhoods Who are the people in your neighborhood? Do you have Mo'ili'ili memories to share? Laura Ruby, co-curator of the exhibition "Mo'ili'ili-The Life of a Community" presents a slide show of the area. Japanese Cultural Center of Hawai'i. Sat 4/8, 4-5:30pm. Free. jcch.com, 945-7633 The Molecules of Life Health expert Dr. John McDougall (of McDougall Plan fame) offers this seminar on the latest science in food chemistry. Learn about the nutrition essentials of protein, carbs, fats, vitamins, minerals and water. Pre-registration required. Wellness Auditorium, Castle Medical Center: Tue 4/11, 7pm. Free. castlemed.org, 263-5400 Myths, Propaganda and Annexation in Palestine & Israel Christian Peacemaker Team members Jerry and Sis Levin-both part of the team in Iraq during the U.S. takeover-deliver this talk throughout O'ahu. Sponsored by Friends of Sabeel HI, AFSC-HI, Hawaii Friends of Jewish Voice for Peace, Crossroads Mission Team for Peace and Justice, Global Ministry for the Parish of St. Clement's and the Hawaii People's Fund. Wed 4/5, 7pm at Emmanuel Episcopal


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Theater Review •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Diamond Head Theatre gets an A for eff art for its production of The Mystery of Edwin Drood

Mystery theater KAWEHI HAUG

T here's a place for indulgent theater-if you're Nathan Lane. Otherwise, it's best to 1: opt out of tack

ling a play that is, by its very nature, indulgent, or 2: get Nathan Lane, or his community theater equivalent, on the bill. The latter is, of course, almost impossible to achieve. But it was ignoring the former-unfortunately for the actors who were cast for Diamond Head Theater's production of Rupert Holmes' The Mystery of Edwin Drood-that made it almost impossible for the show to succeed. It would be unfair to call the show a failure. To do so would be to discredit lead actor and narrator Dennis Proulx's commanding stage presence and the rest of the

cast's brave effort at carrying off a production that is so difficult to carry off.

Here's why: The musical, which was written by the guy who wrote the pina colada song and ever so loosely based on Charles Dickens' unfinished serial novel, is too much for an amateur cast, and far too much for the audience.

Here's why: The play is an interactive whodunit with the audience being thrown clues from the stage that will help it solve, by a democratic show of hands at the tail end of Act two, the mystery of Edwin Drood. The problem: The mystery is three-fold-two too many for a large group of people. We need to determine if a missing Edwin Drood is alive. If not, who killed him? And where is his body? Too much. Way too much. By the middle of Act one,

we're too bogged down with clues, stories within stories and musical numbers to think clearly. Or to even enjoy the campy-and sometimes wonderfully indelicate-humor that Proulx delivers so deftly. At times, the post-witticism silence in the theater was deafening. One can only assume that the audience members were thinking too hard to laugh.

Edwin Drood was made for dinner theater. And for actors who, under better direction, could have delivered the complex (but not intricate, mind you) script without any sort of inconsistency. And this production was inconsistent, to be sure.

Holmes, being the successful composer and performer that he is, wrote a play that displays skillfully

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his knack for the theatrical by having the "mystery" set on the stage of London's fictional Music Hall Royale. Each performer plays a performer playing a Dickens character -and each steps out of character for introductions and to acknowledge audience applause.

That kind of complexity is good and bad.

The play within a play makes for fun, fast-paced theater. But it also means that each actor is essentially playing two roles. It's hard enough to nail one role-two roles prove too much for many of Diamond Head Theatre's cast members. The English accents, save for Proulx's, are either non-English or non-existent. The singing, save for Proulx's

THE

'

and Guy Merola's (who plays Mr. Clive Paget who plays John Jasper, the main suspect in Drood' s disappearance), is weak or sharp or both.

That's not to say the folks on stage don't give it their very best shot. They perform with energy and robust conviction-it's just a shame that director Greg Zane couldn't channel that into creating a tight, captivating performance. Edwin Drood calls for superb stage savvy coupled with astute, discerning direction or it risks being the live version of Waiting for Guffman.

By the end of the show, the mystery and its solution-the play's best assets-are neither here nor there. It's the indulgence of the performance that sticks. •

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THI IIINI •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

From Page 26

Church in Kailua; Thu 4/6, 11:45am at UHKuykendall Auditorium; Fri 4/7, 7pm at Church of the Crossroads; Sat 4/8, 2pm at Harris United Methodist Church on Vineyard. Free. 949-2220 Paper Making and Paper Crafts Make your own paper for cards. Bring a large paper bag full of shredded paper with a variety of colors and a dish washing plastic pan. Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden, 45-680 Luluku Rd., Kane'ohe: Sat 4/8, lOam-noon. $15 members; $17 nonmembers. 537-1708 Play in Clay This introductory course is also an open lab for advanced students. Learn hand-building techniques, wheel throwing, glazing and firing. Windward Community College. Every Mon & Wed for 6-week sessions (next one begins 4/10), 6-8pm. $100 plus $20 lab fee payable to instructor at first class. 235-7433 Simple Sashiko June Hirano teaches a practical Japanese stitching method for sewing layers of fabric together. Bring fabrics, scissors and pins. Temari, 1754 Lusitana St.: Sat 4/8, 9-llam. $20. 536-4566 Sustainable Living Workshops The Green House sponsors ongoing sustainable living workshops to help you integrate practices into your everyday life. The Green House, 224 Pakohana St.: Sat 4/8, lOam-noon: "Making Rubber Slippers from Tires," and "Permaculture Garden Design." $15. 524-8427 Women & Investing Learn to overcome obstacles in investing. Feel comfortable obtaining your financial goals. Hawaii State Federal Credit Union, 560 Halekauwila St., 4th floor: Sat 4/8, 10-llam. Free. 521-3700

K·eiki 6 'Ohana Career Exploration-Jr. Animal Trainer Nine- to 12-year-olds can find out what it's like to work with dolphins or sea lions. Get wet and be a part of the action as you learn. Limited to six participants. Sea Life Park, 41-202 Kalaniana'ole Hwy., Waimanalo: Sat 4/8, 10:30am-4pm. $65. 259-2512 Fun Fair Yay. Fun! Help the kids at Salt Lake Elementary School and enjoy the food, country market, rides, games and entertainment. Salt Lake Elementary, 1131 Ala Lilikoi St.: Sat 4/8, 9am-2pP1. Free. Honolulu Centennial Family Festival Hope for dryness.Celebrate Honolulu's 100th birthday for one more weekend with food, fun and family festivities. Rides and games in the house, er. .. park. Magic Island, Ala Moana Beach Park: Fri 4/7, 5pm-midnight; Sat 4/8, noon-midnight; Sun 4/9, 10am-8pm. Free. honolulupride.com, 440-4146 Imagine Kids in grades K through 6 can dive into drama with the Honolulu Theatre for Youth at two O'ahu locations: Waikele Community Park and Kailua District Park. The final day includes a performance for family and friends. Every Sat 4/8 through 5/20. $100 (scholarships available). 839-9885 In-Session: A Girl's Guide to Glam Girls just wanna have fun and look good doing it. Relax in the Hibiscus Lounge all week for fashion how-to workshops presented by a host of experts. Kiihala Mall. Wed 4/5: Bling for Spring Jewelry Trends; Thu 4/6: Fashion for All Occasions; Fri 4/7: Hairstyles, 6-7pm. 941-0440 Keiki Aquarist Ger up close and personal with stingrays, turtles, lobsters and sharks as you get to know the animals and assist in important duties. Limited to six participants, ages 6-12. Sea Life Park, 41-202 Kalaniana'ole Hwy., Waimanalo: Sun 4/9, 9:30am-12:30pm. $45. 259-2512 Keiki Explorers Club The Green House, 224 Pakohana St.: Sat 4/8: "Worms Eat My Garbage"-kids get up close and personal with trash-eating worms, l:30-3:30pm. $5. [email protected], 524-8427 Keiki ID The HPD thumbprints your kids for a laminated photo ID card. It's all about keeping them safe. Honolulu's finest will be on hand to answer your questions about family safety. Kiihala Mall. Sat 4/8, 10am-l:30pm. kahalamallcenter.com, 586-6310 Moonlight Tour Find out what goes on with the seals, dolphins and penguins when they think you've left for the day. Bring a flashlight but be polite. Sea Life Park, 41-202 Kalaniana'ole Hwy., Waimanalo: Sat 4/8, 7-8:30pm. $10 ages 13 & over; $7 ages 4-12. 259-2512 Preschool Family Night Oogles N Googles takes families to the "Wild, Wild West"-the theme for this month's interactive program, which gets kids ages 3 & up reading, playing and socializing. Kane'ohe Public Library, 45-829

Kamehameha Hwy.: Wed 4/5, 6pm. 233-5676 ~ Tales of Old Hawaii This one's for the littlest tykes. Honolulu Theatre for Youth presents this interactive play, which uses storytelling and activities to tell ancient Hawaiian legends. Tenney Theatre, St. Andrew's Cathedral, Queen Emma Sq.: Opens Sat 4/8, 7:30pm, every Sat through 5/13, 9:30 & 11:30am. $8. htyweb.org, 839-9885

Botanical Hibiscus Hybridization Join hibiscus expert Jill Coryell to learn the art of hibiscus hybridizing and propagation techniques from cuttings. Waimea Valley Audubon Center. Sun 4/9, lOam-noon. $12; $8 for annual pass holders & 20-plus hour volunteers. 638-9199 Ti Leaf Making Instructors Doris Lee and Betsy Tsuhaku teach you how to prepare ti leaves in several ways and to create a variety of lei and roses. Wahiawii Botanical Garden, 1396 California Ave., Wahiawa: Tue 4/11, 1-2:30pm. Free. 522-7064

Hikes 6 Excursions Colorful Ala Moana Waterfront Walk Walk and learn surprising facts about this popular area. Meet at the main entrance arch, Ala Moana Beach Park t Atkinson: First Wed of each month, 1-4pm. Free. 948-3299 The Heart of Honolulu All the major historic sites in the civic center district are included in this 1-rnile walk. Meet at Damien statue, State Capitol: First Fri of every month, 9am-noon. Free. 948-3299 Lua'alaea Escape into the rainforest of native plants and a secluded waterfall on this 2-mile trail with the Hawaiian Trail & Mountain Club. 'Iolani Palace Grounds, Comer of King and Richards Streets, meet on mauka side: Sat 4/8, 8am. $2 nonmembers. 778-8629 The Royal Mausoleum & Two Asian Temples The walk is less than a mile but all participants need to pay for two city bus fares (or use a bus pass) for this educational tour. Meet at Damien statue, State Capitol: First Fri of each month, 1-4pm. Free. 948-3299 UniversHy of Hawai'i & East·West Center Walk about a mile around the Manoa campus, presented by the Program to Preserve Hawaiian Place Names. Meet at the flagpole at University and Dole. Every first Wed, 1-4pm. Free. 948-3299 Wa'ahila Ridge Hike Mark Merlin leads you on a 3-mile, moderate-level hike along a rugged mountain trail, with spectacular views and a variety of native and introduced species. Hawai'i Nature Center. Sat 4/8, 8:30am-12:30pm. $4 nonmember. 955-0100 Washington Place Spring Concert and Tour Take a guided stroll through the governor's home and stay on for a concert from the Royal Hawaiian Band. Washington Place, Beretania St.: Sat 4/8, noon-2pm. Free. 586-0240

Food 6 Drink Cook's Tour of Honolulu Chinatown Get an insider's guide in Asian cooking on a morning tour. Learn about fresh meat and seafood, veggies, fruits and more. Samples included. Private tours also available. Corner of King and

28 rolulu Weekly • April 5-11, 2006 • www.honoluluweekly.com

Smith streets. Every Sat through April. $15 cash. [email protected], 391-1550 Gourmet Affair 2006 The award-winning executive chef for Google Inc., Josef Desimone, prepares culinary delights for guests at the 13th annual benefit for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Honolulu. Sample fine wines, desserts and bid in the live and silent auctions. Coral Ballroom, Hilton Hawaiian Village: Sat 4/15, 6-lOpm. $200. 521-3811, ext. 221 Wine and Sunset in Paradise The Paradise String Quartet provides the atmospheric music as you sample Stella Pinot Grigio, Zenato Pinot Grigio, Cartlidge and Brown Pinot Noir and Calera Pinot Noir. They're calling it "Pinot Envy." Get it? Longhi's: Tue 4/11, 6:30pm. $25 plus tax and gratuity. 947-9899

Whatevahs Act II: A Fashion Reprise Proceeds benefit Hawaii Opera Theatre. Attend the Red Carpet Party, show and pre-sale event with wine and piipii on Friday-RSVP required. The benefit sale on the weekend is free for all, with new or gently worn haute couture, business and casual attire and accessories. Hawai'i Convention Center, 1801 Kalakaua Ave.: Fri 4/7, 5:30pm Red Carpet Party and fashion show; Sat 4/8, 10am-5pm & Sun 4/9, 10am-2pm spring benefit sale. $50 for party. 596-7372, ext. 10 All Classes Chaminade Alumni Reunion Grad from Chaminade? Join the reunion events this month, including the Perry & Price Show on 4/8 ($25), Alumni Night at Eastside Grill on 4/21 ($20 & $25), the on-campus family luau on 4/22 ($20 & $10) and more. chaminade.edu/alumni, 739-8526 Chinese Fortune Telling, Mystic Reading and the 8 Ball Chu Lan reads bamboo fortune sticks. Louis Pohl Gallery. Sat 4/8, llam-3pm. 521-1812 ClutterStompers Clutter challenged? Join the club. Meetings occur once a month. Harris United Methodist Church, 20 S. Vineyard Blvd.: Sat 4/8, 2-4pm. $10 annual fee; $1 J?er meeting. 735-2986, 941-4800 Come As We Were Diamond Head Theatre gets into the benefit act with this event celebrating the great shows of the 1950s. Enjoy being a girl, have an eggroll Mr. Goldstone and dress like your favorite '50s musical character. Wai'alae Country Club. Sat 4/15, 6pm. Tables of 10 begin at $1,000. 733-0277, ext. 305 Come to the Catsbah Tuxes & Tails, the Hawaiian Humane Society's annual fundraiser, celebrates the Year of the Dog with guest canines, exotic novelites and adventures in live and silent auctions. Royal Hawaiian Hotel, 2259 Kalakaua: Sat 4/8. $250 individuals. 356-2225 ConTempo 2006 Enjoy an elegant dinner, martini bar, dancing and visual arts at this annual fundraiser for The Contemporary Museum. TCM curator Michael Rooks auctions off select works of art at the event. Register to bid on silent auction items by visiting the website or the museum between 4/6 & 4122. Neiman Marcus, Ala Moana Shopping Center: Sat 4/22, 9prn-midnight. $125. tcmhi.org, 237-5227 f'rrst Hawaiian International Auto Show See hundreds of new models under one roof at this auto paradise. Specialty vehicles and concept cars on display a~ well. Thursday is college two-fer night and kids get in free on Sunday. Hawai'i Convention Center, 1801 Kalakaua Ave.: Thu 4/6 & Fri 4/7, noon-10:30pm; Sat 4/8, 10am-10:30pm & Sun 4/9, 10am-7pm.

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$7-free. hawaiiautoshow.com Hawai'i Astronomical Society By the light of the silvery moon. Join the society for telescopic views of celestial bodies at Kahala and Waikele Community Park. Sat 4/8, after sundown. Free. 524-2450 Manoa Marquee: A Little Night Music Manoa Valley Theatre's annual fundraiser tries out a 1920's summer-evening theme for its dinner and silent auction event, with the PBS Little Big Band to help you charleston the night away. Coral Ballroom, Hilton Hawaiian Village: Sat 4/8, 6-10:30pm. $200 individual tickets; $2,000-$3,500 tables of 10. 988-6131 Maryknoll School Fundraiser Jimmy Borges and other local jazz greats Betty Lou Taylor, Steve Jones, Gabe Baltazar and Noel Okimoto entertain at the dinner, silent auction and award event to honor Kekumano Award winner Dr. Gabriel Ma. Coral Ballroom, Hilton Hawaiian Village: Sun 4/9, 5pm. $125 individual tickets. 952-7310 Ni Hokii o Ka'imuki Former Bulldogs, Pups and friends are invited to Kaimuki High's annual fundraiser for door prizes, a silent auction and entertainment by the school's rising stars. Kaimuki High School, 2705 Kaimuki Ave.: Sat 4/8, 4:30-8:30pm. $25 suggested donation. kaimukihsfoundation.org, 306-3328 Second Saturday It's the second Saturday of the month, why not celebrate? The downtown and Chinatown area comes alive with keiki activities at the Hawaii State Art Museum, fortune telling and culinary tours at the Louis Pohl Gallery, Nu'uanu Ave. sidewalk sales and much more. Pick up a guide, stroll and see. Sat 4/8, 10am-4pm. Starbucks AIDS Walk for Life The easy SK family walk benefits the Life Foundation. Form a team and register to show your support for Hawai'i's victims of AIDS. If you register online you can create your own web page and track your fundraising progress. Kapi'olani Park Bandstand, Waikiki: Sun 4/23, 8am registration; 9am walk. aidswalkhawaii.org, lifefoundation.org, 521-AIDS Viva la Diva Trunk Shows Visit the mall this week for a variety of fashions and demos, including: lingerie and undergarment fittings by Morgan Beret Fine Lingerie, Thu 4/6, 2pm; a cooking demo by The Compleat Kitchen, Fri 4/7, noon; aromatherapy at Blush, Sat 4/8, 2pm; fashion by Shasa Emporium, Sat 4/8, 5pm; Anne Namba Designs presented by Calista, Sun 4/9, 2pm. Kiihala Mall. kahalamallcenter.com, 941-0440

Volunteer Hawaii Foodbank Annual Food Drive What are you doing this Earth Day? You can help feed Hawai'i's hungry by collecting food and funds at various locations around town during the 17th annual food drive. Sat 4/22, 8am-5 pm. hawaiifoodbank.org, 836-3600, ext. 239 Kine'ohe Wetland Project Help the Sierra Club clear a wetland of mangrove to create habitat for the endangered water birds at Marine Corp Base Hawai'i. Sat 4/8 Free. hi.sierraclub.org, 235-5431

Gay ~ Black Garter Cafe For women with a taste for the same. Detox Sport & Entertainment Club, corner of Beretania and Alakea: Every Fri, 9:30pm-2am. 737-6446, ext. 2

Gay Cruise Get wet, wicked and wild as you sail off, sail back and party on the beach. Every Sat, 2pm cruise; 5pm pau beach party. hulas.com Honolulu Gay Support and Discussion Group For gay or questioning individuals, their families and friends. Feel safe and promote well-being, friendship, equal rights,ind justice. Waikiki Community Center, 310 Paoakalani Ave.: Every Tue, 7:30pm. 537-2000

Mixed Media Island Insights The public affairs program explores issues facing local residents. PBS Hawai'i, KHET-11 (10): Every Mon, 7:30pm. pbshawaii.org, 973-1000 UFF RADIO From ABBA to Zappa, Zevon to Aerosmith: UFF Radio-unfit for formatplays "music san-o-tized for your protection." KORL, AM 690: Every Sun, 9pm-lam. 531-4690 • Underground Sounds Show G-Spot and guests host this weekly electronic dance music showcase. KTUH, 90.3 FM Honolulu, 89.7 FM Hawai'i Kai, 91.3, 89.9 Windward: Every Fri, 6-9pm. 956-7261 Youth Xchange Finalists More than 50 entries were received from Hawai'i schools for this competition. K-12 students could submit videos in public service announcement, news, mini-documentary, animation, music video, short, environmental justice and energy conservation categories. Winners will be announced 4/13 and re-aired that week. 'Olelo, channel 49: Sat 4/8, 4pm. olelo.org

~.!~i!?e.?!!nwmam will travel to the set of Lost on O'ahu and the top 10 winning films will show at the first Big Island Film Festival on 5/20. Contestants ages 11 to 22 should produce a one- to sevenminute anti-drug video for this year's contest theme: "Alternative to Drugs." Entry forms available at Na Leo O Hawaii, Big Island schools, Central Pacific Youth Athletic Club, Kona Boys, Rite of Passage and online. filmbigisland.com/videocontest Celebration of the Arts The three-day festival celebrates the culture and history of Hawaiians throughout generations with arts and crafts, workshops, hula and chant and more. Ritz-Carlton Kapalua, One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, Maui: Thu 4/13 through Sun 4/16. (808) 669-6200, (808) 262-8440 Coral Reef Awareness Day This Earth Day meet the walking, talking fish, enjoy tidepool adventures, monk seal presentations, games, crafts and more at the sixth annual event. Kahalu'u Beach Park, Kona: Sat 4/22, 10am-2pm. (808) 329-2861, (808) 322-2786 ~ Merrie Monarch Festival It's time once again for the state's most prestigious hula competition and week-long festival of cultural events. Miss Aloha Hula gets crowned on Thursday; Friday & Saturday bring the popular kahiko and 'auana competitions. Edith Kanaka'ole Stadium, Big Island: Sat 4/15 through 4/22. (808) 935-9168

Submissions 'The Scene" provides groups and iridividuals with free listings of community events, activities and entertainment. Submissions must include the following:

• Date and time;

• Location (include a street address);

• Cost or admission price (please note if event is free);

• Contact phone number;

• Description of the event. If submitting an entry to the music section, include the general type of music (jazz, rock, hiphop, Hawaiian, etc.).

Deadline for "The Scene" submissions is two weeks before the listing should appear. Listings appear the last Wednesday before the event. "The Scene" is also posted each week on our Web site, at wuJW.honoluluweekly.com.

Send all submissions do Honolulu Weekly Calendar Editor, 1200 College Walk, #214. Honolulu, HI 96817, fax to 528-3144 oremail [email protected]. Submissions are not accepted over the phone. Please note: We welcome photographs with submissions, but cannot guarantee returns - please do not send original art. •

I I

......................................................................................................•............................................. Film .....•....•...............................................................•.........•....................•............................••.•..........

Limp basket RYAN SENAGA

The fact that Basic Instinct 2 is a dumb and unnecessary sequel shouldn't be surprising. The real

shocker is how stultifyingly boring it is. The movie begins, appropriately, with a car crash and that's what viewing this movie should have been the equivalent of: the guilty, eerie, fascinating, traffic-crawling curiosity of a vehicular wreck. Instead, there's more fun eroticism in Slither (see review on page 30).

Catherine Tramell (Sharon Stone), our favorite ice pick-wielding psycho-slut novelist, now lives in London-probably because America no longer wanted her. The aforementioned crash involves a speeding Eclipse Spyder going over a bridge, a drugged-out soccer suµand Stone in mid-orgasm. Unfortunately for England, our anti-heroine survives and sets off a police investigation that calls in psychiatrist Michael Glass to investigate.

Glass diagnoses Tramell with a risk addiction, but her case is dis-

missed on a technicality, and then he takes her on as a patient for his thesis paper. Could he also be attracted to her? Duh. Then there's the journalist doing a story on a murder in the doctor's past, the professionalism of the possibly corrupt cop leading the investigation (David

Basic Instinct 2 has too much subplot for a movie that was made to showcase Sllaron Stone and her f arnous crotch

Thewlis of Naked) and a possible job promotion for the good doctor, which depends on a well-regarded colleague's recommendation.

This is way too much subplot for a movie that should have been engineered to showcase Sharon Stone

and her famous crotch. She smokes cigarettes to other characters' chagrin, spreads her legs while sitting backwards in a chair, engages in asphyxiation fornication and displays her breasts in a Jacuzzi. And that about does it. It's a pity because Stone is actually very good at what she does. Even while reciting the banally rote and faux-titillating seduction wordplay, her eyes command a certain presence of palpable sexuality-a quality Hollywood rarely allows for actresses over 25. It would have been more cheesily entertaining to watch her violently flirt with a worthy adversary, but even if the screenplay gave her the opportunity, David Morrissey's befuddled, blank-faced shrink is simply no match as a male lead/sex victim.

Who knew Joe Eszterhas' s sledgehammer-subtle, misogynistic dialogue from the original would be missed? Even the mythic ice pick is reduced to a cameo appearance.

Basic Instinct 2 being a lousy waste of time is a given, but what's astonishing is how seriously the film took itself. It's nowhere near the camp-fest it should have been. •

ROB

SCHNEIDER DAVID JON

SPADE HEDER

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FROM THE DIRECTOR OF HAPPY GILMORE ANO B\G t)l).t)t)'(

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STARTS FRIDAY, 'APRIL 7 Consolidated Consolidated Regal Cinemas Regal Cinemas PEARLWEST 16 KOKO MARINA STADIUM 8 DOLE CANNERY 18 WINDWARD STADIUM 10 483-5344 397-6133 BOO-FANDANGO #1718 BOO-FANDANGO #1719 Consolidated KAPOLEI 16 674-8032

Consolidated MILILANI STADIUM 14 627-0200

Regal Cinemas PEARL HIGHLANDS 12 BOO-FANDANGO # 1717

S-Ony. No Passes Accepted For This Engagement.

For Additional Information, Call Theaters Or Check Directories.


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1

J .

.........•.....................•.................................................................................................................... Film ..............................................................•.....................................................................................

RYAN SENAGA

The success of a selfreflexive horror-comedy depends on how well it delivers monster-scares and dark

belly laughs while being totally aware of how ludicrous and excessively fake its creature effects are. If the script and performances generate empathy for the characters, it's an added bonus, not a requirement. Perhaps the duality of structure and organic, low-expectation work ethic accounts for the artform's inability to transcend genre-e.g., Army of Darkness will always be a B-movie.

Such is the case with Slither: If you own the Troma Studios "classic" The Toxic Avenger on DVD, rush out and see this slugfest.

A meteor crashes on Earth, depositing a gooey sac that shoots a needle-like leech into Michael Rooker (Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer). Through an x-ray effects shot, we see the leech worm up his

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and times .., are subject .o to change.

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insides and lodge itself into his brain. Thus begins a bulbous, slimy and tentacled mutant transformation that eventually makes Jabba the

If you own The Toxic Avenger on DVD, rush to see Slither

Hutt look anorexic. Rooker' s monster infects the population and turns them into raw meat-craving zombies via millions of slithering slugs that resemble raw beef tongue. (An "impregnated" host hatches the slimy crawlies for him in a manner that calls to mind the Fangoria version of Violet Beauregarde' s blueberry fate in Willa Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.)

Firefly/Serenity c;aptain Nathan Fillion, as the heroic town sheriff who must stop this otherworldly

Town DOLE CANNERY: 735-B lwilei Road 526-3456 Call theater for showtimes

RESTAURANT ROW: 500 Ala Moana Blvd. 526-4171 + Big Momma's House 2 (Wed & Thu call

theater for showtimes, Fri-Tue 12:25, 3:05, 5:20,

7:50, 10:10); The Chronicles ofNarnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (Wed & Thu call theater for showtimes, Fri-Tue

12:55, 3:55, 7, 10:05);

• Fri 4/7: Annapolis (Fri-Tue 12:15, 2:45,

5:15, 7:45, 10:30); Aquamarine (Fri-Tue 12,

2:30, 5, 7:30, 10); Brokeback Mountain (Fri-Tue 3, 10: 15); Freedomland (Fri-Tue

12:05, 2:40, 5:30, 7:55, 10:25); Glory Road (Fri-Tue 12:45, 3:30, 7:05, 9:45); The Hills Have Eyes (Fri-Tue 12:50, 3:10, 5:35, 8:10,

10:35); When a Stranger Calls (Fri-Tue

12:30, 3:15, 5:25, 8, 10:20); The World's Fastest Indian (Fri-Tue 12:10, 7:10);

WARD STADIUM: 1044 Auahi SL 593-3000 + 16 Blocks (Wed & Thu 12:40, 3, 5:30, 7:50,

10:20, Fri-Sun 12:20, 3, 5:30, 7:50, 10:30,

midnight t 12:40, 3, 5:30, 7:50, 10:20); ATL (Wed

& Thu 12:30, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 10, Fri-Sun 12:40,

3:30, 6, 8:30, 11, midnight t 12:30, 2:50, 5:10,

7:30, IO); Basic Instinct 2 (Wed & Thu 1:10,

4:15, 7:20, 10:10, Fri-Sun 11:20, 2, 4:40, 7:30,

10:10, midnight t 1:10, 4:15, 7:20, 10:10); Eight Below (Wed & Thu 12:50, 3:45, Fri-Sun 11:40,

2:30, 5:20, midnight t 12:50, 3:45); Failure to Launch (Wed & Thu 12:50, 3:10, 5:30, 7:40,

10:10, Fri-Sun 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 10,

midnight t 12:50, 3:10, 5:30, 7:40, 10:10); Ice Age: The Meltdown (Wed & Thu 12:30, I,

1:45, 2:50, 3:20, 4:40, 5: 10, 5:40, 7, 7:30, 8, 9:20,

9:50, 10:20, Fri-Sun 11, 11:45, 12:30, 1:20, 2:20,

3, 3:40, 4:40, 5:20, 6, 7, 7:40, 8:20, 9:20, 10, 10:40,

midnight t 12:30, 1, 1:45, 2:50, 3:20, 4:40, 5:10,

5:40, 7, 7:30, 8, 9:20, 9:50, 10:20); Inside Man (Wed & Thu call theater for showtimes, Fri-Sun

30 Honolulu Weekly • April 5-11 ,'2006 • www.honoluluweeldy.com

menace, has another Han Solo-like role to reinforce fanboys' beliefs that he is Harrison Ford's heir apparent. Check his reaction when he discovers that the zombies can spit toxic bile; it's the perfect mix of shock, terror and exasperation while simultaneously acknowledging the ludicrous movie he's starring in.

The more perceptive film critic

11:10, 1:20, 2:10, 4:30, 5:1:20, 8, 10:20, 10:50,

midnight t 12:50, 1:30, 3:55, 4:30, 7, 7:30, 9:50,

10:20); Larry the Cable Guy: Health

Inspector (Wed & Thu 12:40, 3:20, 5:50, 8,

9:50, Fri-Sun 12:40, 3:20, 5:50, 8, 10:10,,midnight

t 12:40, 3:20, 5:50, 8, 9:50); The Shaggy Dog (Wed & Thu 1:30, 3:50, 7, 9:40, Fri-Sun 11:10,

1:30, 3:50, 7, 9:40, midnight t 1:30, 3:50, 7, 9:40);

She's the Man (Wed & Thu 1:50, 4:30, 7:20,

10, Fri-Sun 11:30, 2, 4:30, 7:20, 10:20, midnight t

1:50, 4:30, 7:20, 10); Slither (Wed & Thu !,

3:20, 5:40, 8:10, 10:30, Fri-Sun 12:20, 2:40, 5,

7:30, 10:40, midnight t 1, 3:20, 5:40, 8:10, 10:30);

Stay Alive (Wed&Thu 1:30,4:15,8, 10:10,Fri

Sun 11:20, 1:30, 3:55, 6:10, 8:30, 11, midnight t

1:30, 4:15,8, 10:10); V for Vendetta (Wed&

Thu 1:20, 4:40, 7:40, 10:30, Fri-Sun 11, 1:50,

4:50, 7:40, 10:30, midnight t 1:20, 4:40, 7:40,

10:30);

will deconstruct the subtle nuances of sexuality rippling under the genre context: Michael Rooker' s limp, flaccid tentacle/arm flailing in inadequacy after his wife refuses to have sex, the rhythmic thrusting of the bodies as Rooker "infects" a victim on a couch, the phallic-shaped slugs trying to forcibly enter its victimsorally and the opening of the pod

midnight t4, 7:15); Nanny McPhee (Fri 4:30,

7:45, 9:50, Sat 1:30, 4:30, 7:45, 9:50, Sun 1:30,

4:30, 7:45, midnight 14:30, 7:45);

KO'OLAU STADIUM: Temple Valley Shopping Center 593.3000

+ ATL (Wed & Thu 12:10, 2:20, 4:50, 7:30, Fri

Tue 12:10, 2:20, 4:50, 7:30); Basic Instinct 2

(Wed & Thu 1, 3:30, 7:10, Fri-Tue 1, 3:30, 7:10);

Ice Age: The Meltdown (Wed & Thu 12:05,

12:55, 2:10, 3, 4:15, 5:05, 6:30, 7:15, Fri-Tue

12:05, 12:55, 2:10, 3, 4:15, 5:05, 6:30, 7:15);

Inside Man (Wed & Thu 12, 2:50, 7:25, Fri-Tue

12, 2:50, 7:25); The Shaggy Dog (Wed & Thu

12:05, 2:05, 4:30, 7, Fri-Tue 12, 2:05, 4:30, 7);

sac from the meteorite has a certain resemblance to the female genitalia.

But this type of analysis should be continued in film schools. Whether or not the average Saturday night moviegoer finds Slither enjoyable comes down to taste: It is a gross and innocuously pleasant date-night flick that only a 40-year-old-virgin will truly cherish. •

East KAHALA 8-PLEX: Kahala Mall, 4211 Wai'alae Ave. 593-3000

+ Basic Instinct 2 (Wed & Thu 1:25, 4:15,

7:45, Fri-Sun 12:25, 3:20, 7:251 10, midnight t

1:25, 4:15, 7:45); Eight Below (Wed & Thu

1:40, 4:25, Fri-Sun 12:30, 3:35, midnight t 1:40,

4:25); Failure to Launch (Wed & Thu 1:15,

3:40, 6, 8:20, Fri-Sun 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:30, 9:50,

midnight t 1:15, 3:40, 6, 8:20); Ice Age: The

Meltdown (Wed & Thu 1:35, 3:50, 6:15, 8:25,

Fri-Sun 12:05, 2:15, 4:25, 7:10, 9:20, midnight t

1:35, 3:50, 6:15, 8:25); Inside Man (Wed &

She's the Man (Wed & Thu 12:15, 2:25, 4:45, Thu 4:20, 7:50, Fri-Sun 12:40, 3:40, midnight t

4 4 ) lith 1 :30, 4:20, 7:50); The Shaggy Dog (Wed &

7:35, Fri-Tue 12:15, 2:25, : 5, 7:35 ; S er

( Thu 1:20, 6:10, 8:30, Fri-Sun 12:45, 3:25, 7:15,

Wed & Thu 12:35, 3:10, 5:20, 9:50, Fri-Tue 12:35, 9:35, midnight t 1:20, 3:45, 6:10, 8:30); She's

eThu 4/6: The Hills Have Eyes (Wed&Thu 3:10, 5:20, 7:50); Stay Alive (Wed&Thu 12:40, the Man (Wed& Thu 1, 3:25, 5:50,8:15, Fri-

2:45, 4:40, 7:40, Fri-Tue 12:40, 2:45, 4:40, 7:40); V 7:50, 10:30); In the Flame of a Thousand Torches (Wed & Thu 12:50, 1:30, 3:55, 4:30, 7,

7:30, 9:50, 10:20);

Windward AIKAHI TWINS: 'Aikahi Paril Center. 593-3000 + Brokeback Mountain (Wed-Tue 5:30,

8:15); Transamerica (Wed-Tue 5:45, 8);

KEOLU CENTER CINEMA: 1090 Keolu Dr. 263-4171

+ The Chronicles ofNarnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (Wed & Thu

4, 7, Fri 4:15, 7, 9:40, Sat 1:15, 4:15, 7, 9:40, Sun

1:15, 4: 15, 7, '!1idnightt 4:15, 7);

• Thu 4/6: Big Momma's House 2 (Wed &

Thu 4:45, 7:20); Memoirs of a Geisha (Wed

&Thu 4:15, 7:10); When a Stranger calls

(Wed & Thu 4:30, 7:30);

Fri 4/7: Annapolis (Fri 4:45, 7:30, 10, Sat

1:45, 4:456, 7:30, 10, Sun 1:45, 4:45, 7:30,

midnight 14:45, 7:30); Glory Road (Fri 4,

7:15, 9:45, Sat I, 4, 7:15, 9:45, Sun 1, 4, 7:15,

for Vendetta (Wed & Thu 12:30, 3:15, 7:20,

Fri-Tue 12:30, 3:15, 7:20);

WINDWARD STADIUM: 46-056 Kamehameha Hwy., Bldg. G 234-4000

+ Basic Instinct 2 (Wed & Thu 11:40, 2:15,

5:10, 7:45, 10:30, Fri-Tue call theater for

showtimes); Failure to Launch (Wed & Thu

12:40, 3, 5:20, 7:40, 10:05, Fri-Tue call theater for

showtimes); Ice Age: The Meltdown (Wed &

Thu 11, 12, 1:30, 2:30, 4, 5, 6:30, 7:30, 9, 10, Fri

Tue call theater for showtimes); Inside Man

(Wed& Thu 1:20, 4:10, 7:15, 10:25, Fri-Tue call

theater for showtimes); The Shaggy Dog (Wed

& Thu 11:25, 1:50, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15, Fri-Tue call

theater for showtimes); She's the Man (Wed &

Thu 11:30, 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30, Fri-Tue call theater for

showtimes); Slither (Wed & Thu 12:30, 3:05,

5:30, 8, 10:20, Fri-Tue call theater for showtimes);

Stay Alive (Wed & Thu 1:15, 3:30, 5:40, 7:50,

10:10, Fri-Tue call theater forshowtimes); V for

Vendetta (Wed & Thu 1:25, 4:25, 7:20, 10:15,

Fri-Tue call theater for showtimes);

Sun 12, 2:25, 4:50, 7:20, 9:45, midnight t 1, 3:25,

5:50, 8:15); V for Vendetta (Wed & Thu 8, Fri

Sun 7, 9:55, midnight 18);

KOKO MARINA STADIUM 8: 593-3000

+ ATL (Wed & Thu 2, 4:20, 7:35, Fri-Sun 12,

2:30, 5:10, 8, 10:15, midnight t 2, 4:20, 7:35); Ice

Age: The Meltdown (Wed&Thu 1:30, 3:35,

5:45, 8, Fri-Sun 12:45, 2:55, 5, 7:20, 9:40,

midnight t 1:30, 3:35, 5:45, 8); Inside Man

(Wed & Thu 2:15, 5:15, 8:15, Fri-Sun 12:15, 3:20,

7, 10, midnight t 2:15, 5:15, 8:15); The Shaggy

Dog (Wed & Thu 1, 3, 5, 7:30, Fri-Sun 12:15,

2:45, 4:55, 7:25, 9:45, midnight t 1:10, 3:20, 5:30,

7:45); She's the Man (Wed & Thu I, 3:20,

5:50, 8:30, Fri-Sun 12:30, 3, 5:20, 7:50, 10:20,

midnight t I, 3:20, 5:50, 8:30); Slither (Wed &

Thu 1:15, 3:30, 6, 8:30, Fri-Sun 1:15, 3:25, 5:45,

8:15, 10:30, midnight t 1:15, 3:30, 6, 8:30); Stay

Alive (Wed & Thu I, 3, 5, 7:30, Fri-Sun 1, 3:55,

7:30, 10:25, midnight t !, 3, 5, 7:30,); V for

Vendetta (Wed & Thu I, 4, 7:30, Fri-Sun I,

3:55, 7:30, 10:25, midnight t 1, 4, 7:30);

---------------·------- ----~ ·---- - - --

....................................................•................................... Film ........................................................................................

Kitsch 22 BOB GREEN

"I am the man, I suffered, I was there." -Walt Whitmqn

In real life, when people cough, they're probably getting something "that's going around." In movies, when characters cough, you can

bet your bippy that they're going to expire tragically. In real life, when movie audiences begin to cough, that means the movie stinks.

Well, sir, in the stillborn drama Ask the Dusk, a major character coughs ... and then ... you guessed it. In the movie-house earlier this week, the entire audience started coughing toward the middle, three or four months in (psychological time); and by the end of this purple-prose bore, only two people were left in the theater-your duti-. ful critic and one other guy (and he

Central MILILANI TOWN CENTER STADIUM 14: 95-1249 Meheula Parkway 593-3000

+ ATL (Wed & Thu 1:20, 3:35, 7:05, 9:25, Fri

Sun 11:55, 2:15, 4:40, 7:05, 9:30, midnight t

1:20, 3:35, 7:05, 9:25); Basic Instinct 2 (Wed& Thu 1:15, 3:50, 7:25, 9:55, f-m 11:40,

2:15, 4:50, 7:25, 10, Tue 1:15, 3:50, 7:25, 9:55);

Failure to Launch (Wed & Thu 1 :35, 3:45,

7:15, 9:30, f-m 12:30, 2:45, 5, 7:15, 9:30, Tue

1:35, 3:45, 7:15, 9:30); Ice Age: The Meltdown (Wed & Thu 1:30, 3:40, 5:50, 8,

Fri-Sun 10:20, 10:50, 12:30, 1, 2:40, 3:15, 4:50,

5:30, 7, 7:45, 9:10, 9:50, midnight t 1:30, 3:40,

5:50,.8); Inside Man (Wed & Thu 1:10, 3:55,

7, 9:45, f-rn 10:30, 1:20, 4:10, 7, 9:50, Tue 1:10,

3:55, 7, 9:45,,); Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (Wed & Thu 1:30, 3:35,

5:45, 7:55, 10, f-m 11:15, 1:30, 3:40, 5:50, 7:55,

10, Tue 1:30, 3:35, 5:45, 7:55, 10); The Shaggy Dog (Wed & Thu 1:05, 3:20, 7, 9:20,

Fri-Sun 10:25, 12:45, 3:05, 7, 9:20, midnight t

1:05, 3:20, 7, 9:20,); She's the Man (Wed&

Thu 1, 3:25, 7:10, 9:35, f-m 11:50, 2:15, 4:45,

7:10, 9:35, Tue 1, 3:25, 7:10, 9:35); Slither (Wed & Thu 1:25, 3:45, 7:25, 9:40, Fri-Sun

10:15, 12:35, 2:55, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45, Mon 12:35,

2:55, 5:15, 7:30, 9:40, Tue 1:25, 3:45, 7:25,

9:40); Stay Alive (Wed & Thu 1:50, 3:55, 6, 8,

10, f-m 11:45, 1:50, 3:55, 6, 8, 10, Tue 1:50,

3:55, 6, 8, 10,,); V for Vendetta (Wed & Thu

1, 3:50, 7, 9:45, f-m 11:45, 1:50, 3:55, 6, 8, 10,

Tue 1, 3:50, 7, 9:45);

PEARL HIGHLANDS: 1000 Kamehameha Hwy. 455-6999

Call theater for showtirnes

PEARLRIDGE WEST: 593-3000 + ATL (Wed & Thu 12:25, 2:45, 5, 7:20, 9:40,

Fri-Tue 12:25, 2:45, 5, 7:20, 9:40); Basic Instinct 2 (Wed & Thu 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10,

Fri-Tue 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10); Failure to

Launch (Wed&Thu 12:15, 2:30, 4:50, 9:30,

Fri-Tue 12:15, 2:30, 4:50, 9:30); Ice Age: The

was still coughing). So lousy that it isn't completely

boring, this movie misfire-badlystaged, woodenly-acted-drones on, waxworks scene after scene, slowly rolling by like luggage on a conveyor belt.

This goes on for an hour, and in yet another irony, the movie becomes a little better in its last hour (Salma Hayek gets a puppy). But it's too late; the movie is in shambles ... real shambles.

Ask the Dusk is the worst movie of the year

Adapted by writer/director Robert Towne (Chinatown) from a John Fante novel of yesteryear, the story (about an idealistic young writerpoor Colin Farrell) takes place in 1930s Los Angeles (as played, none too convincingly, by South Africa) and a Malibu-ish beachfront shack. We also see a couple of underpopu~ lated bars-where the palaver is from Clicheville, sophomoric prose ladled over by a first-person voice over. As the story progresses, Donald Sutherland drops by from time to time, delivers a few lines, and then disappears as pointlessly as he

Meltdown (Wed & Thu 12, 12:45, 1:45, 2:30,

3, 3:55, 4:45, 5:15, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8:45, 9:15, 9:45,

Fri-Tue 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8); Inside Man (Wed

& Thu 12:45, 3:45, 6:30, 9:15, Fri-Tue 12:45,

3:45, 6:30, 9:15); Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (Wed & Thu 12:05, 2:l5,

4:45, 7:15, 9:30, Fri-Tue 12:05, 2:15, 4:45, 7:15,

9:30,); The Shaggy Dog (Wed & Thu 12,

12:30, 2:15, 2:45, 4:30, 5, 7:10, 7:40, 9:30, 10,

Fri-Tue 12, 12:30, 2:15, 2:45, 4:30, 5, 7:10, 7:40,

9:30, 10); She's the Man (Wed & Thu 12:05,

2:25, 4:45, 7:15, 9:55, Fri-Sun 11:45, 2:15, 4:45,

7:15, 9:55, midnight t 12:05, 2:25, 4:45, 7:15,

9:55); Slither (Wed&Thu 12:55, 3:15, 5:30,

7:45, 10,, Fri-Tue 12:30, 3:30, 7, 9:45);

.......................•......... North Shore IMAX POLYNESIAN CULTURAL CENTER: 55-370 Kamehameha Hwy; (Closed on Sundays.) 293-3280 + Dolphins (Wed-Tue 130, 4, 6 p.rn.,

Japanese-language version 5 p.m.); The lliing Sea (Wed-Tue 1230, 3 p.m.);

LA'IE CINEMAS: 55-510 Kamehameha Hwy. (Closed on Sundays) 293-7516

+ Ice Age: The Meltdown (Wed & Thu 5, 7, 9, Fri 5:15, 7:15, 9:15, Sat 3:15, 5:15, 7:15,

9:15, Mon & Tue 7:15, 9:15);

• Thu 416: Curious George (Wed & Thu

5:15); Failure to Launch (Wed&Thu 7:15,

9:20);

~ Fri 4/7: The Benchwarmers (Fri 5, 7, 9, Sat 3, 5, 7, 9, Mon & Tue 7, 9);

.................................

Leeward KAPOLEI MEGAPLEX: 890 Kamakamokila Blvd. 593-3000 + 16 Blocks (Wed&Thu 10, Fri-Tue 10);

ATL (Wed & Thu 2:35, 5, 7:30, 10, Fri-Tue 2:35,

5, 7:30, IO); Basic Instinct 2 (Wed & Thu

1:15, 3:55, 7:15, 9:55, Fri-Tue 1:15, 3:55, 7:15,

9:55); Eight Below (Wed& Thu 1, 3:40, 7:15,

has appeared. Justin Kirk (he coughs, too) appears as a peroxideblonde barkeep, and then he disappears. Eileen Atkins manifests as a landlady, has a few lines, and then is seen no more. Was this thing cut down from three hours to two? That's our guess. It should have been cut down to three minutes, when Farrell and Hayek frolic in the nude in what purports to be the California surf (at nigh{), their naughty parts obscured, sort of.

This writer, see, he falls for Hayek, who's an oppressed Mexican waitress; and she falls for him finally. But they don't get along too good; for some reason unaccounted for in the script, they suddenly lurch into unmotivated arguments. Farrell puts on his sensitive face, and Hayek flashes those eyes. But after he teaches her to read, things get better.

And then ... she begins to cough. All right, so I gave away a plot

point, the first in my 15-year career as Weekly critic.

I don't care. I'm trying to save you from innocently dropping into the theater to see this abomination with two gifted performers in a steep career descent struggling cluelessly in a sea of dated dramatics. This one's not going on their resumes.

Instead of asking the dust, maybe you just ought to get a puppy. •

Fri-Tue 1, 3:40, 7:15); Failure to Launch (Wed& Thu 2:45, 5, 7:15, 9:30, Fri-Tue 2:45, 5,

7:15, 9:30); Ice Age: The Meltdown (Wed

& Thu 1, 1:30, 2:15, 2:45, 3:15, 3:45, Fri-Tue 1,

1:30, 2:15, 2:45, 3:156, 3:45, 4:30, 5, 5:30, 6, 7,

7:30, 7:45, 8:30, 9:15, 9:45, 10); Inside Man (Wed & Tim 1, 3:05, 3:50, 7, 7:25, 9:50, Fri-Tue

1, 3:05, 3:5"0, 7, 7:25, 9:50); Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (Wed & Thu 2:40,

4:50, 7:10, 9:45, Fri-Tue 2:40, 4:50, 7:10, 9:45);

The Shaggy Dog (Wed & Thu 2:35, 5, 7:20,

9:40, Fri-Tue 2:35, 5, 7:20, 9:40); She's the Man (Wed & Thu 2:40, 5:05, 7:30, 10, Fri-Tue

2:40, 5:05, 7:30, 10); Slither (Wed & Thu

1:30, 3:45, 7:20, 9:35, Fri-Tue 1:30, 3:45, 7:20,

9:35); Stay Alive (Wed & Thu 1:15, 3:20,

5:30, 7:40, 10, Fri-Tue 1:15, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40,

9:55); V for Vendetta (Wed&Thu 3:15, 7,

9:50, Fri-Tue 3:15, 7, 9:50);

Art House DORIS DUKE THEATRE: Honolulu Academy of Arts, 900 S. Beretania St. $7 general, $5 members. 532-8768

+ Fateless (Wed 1 & 7:30); Occupation: Dreamland (Thu 1, Fri 1, 4, Sat, Tue, Wed

l);

MOVIE MUSEUM: 3566 Harding Ave. $5 general, $4 members. 735-8771

+ The Brothers and Sisters of the Toda Family (Thu & Sat 2, 4, 6, 8); Crash (Fri & Mon 12:30, 3, 5:30, 8); Proof (Sun 2, 4,

6, 8);

SPALDING HALL, ROOM 155: UH· Manoa campus 223-0130

+ Ayurveda: The Art ofBeing (Thu 7,

Sun 5);

VARSITY: 1106 University Ave. 593-3000 + Ask the Dust (Wed & Thu 2, 4:45, 7:30,

Fri & Sat 1:15, 4:10, 7, 9:45, Sun 1:15, 4:10, 7,

midnight t 2, 4:45, 7:30); Cache (Wed & Thu

5:30, 8, Fri & Sat 12:30, 3, 5:30, 8; 10:30, Sun

12:30, 3, 5:30, 8, midnight t 3, 5:30);

-- - ------ --'

f I It t I<

"PURE ENTERTAINMENT." Nobody gave them a chance

until one man gave them a dream.

TIKETHE L

NEW LINE CINEMA. ·---ia~w.aan-

STARTS FRIDAY, APRIL 7 consolidated Consolidated consolidated Consolidated consolidated Ward Stadium 16 Pearlrldge West 16 Koko Morino Stadium a Kapolel 16 Ko'olau Stadium 1 o 808/593-3000 #892 808/593-3000 #889 808/593-3000 #879 808/593-3000 #890 808/593-3000 #875

Rogol Cinemas Regal Cinemas Consolidated Dole Cannery 18 Pearl Highlands 12 Mllllanl Stadium 14 800/FANDANGO #1718 800/FANDANGO #1717 808/593-3000 #903

Regal Cinemas c~:&~~5R~~~M~~LL Windward Stadium 10 NO PASSES ACCEmD 800/FANDANGO #1719 r<JRTHISENGAGEMENT

,}: .. For Mare Information About This Movio h'l',11':'H Ei tU @@fl I,, II Pi i · Moviefone.com ~~

-.honoluluweeldy.com • April 5-11, 2006 • Honolulu Weekly 31

]

(

· I

.................................................................................................................................................... O'ahu Films

····························································································~······················································· Unattributed film synopses indicate movies not yet reviewed by HW staff i' Indicates films of unusual interest

Opening The Bencbwarmers Busy little "B" comedy movie with David Spade, Jon Heder and probably Rob Schneider, if you know what I mean. Lucky Number Slevin Thriller with Josh Hartnett, Morgan Freeman, Bruce Willis. Phat Girlz Fashion-world comedy with Mo'nique. Take the Lead Antonio Banderas dances and dances in this feel gooder, capitalizing on Dancing With the Stars. (Nick Lachey's brother does not appear.)

Continuing Ask the Dust See review on 31. An Youth movie of mixed races, mixed music and touting "a new American story." Basic Instinct 2 See review on page 30. 'i'Cache The new Michael Haneke drama, a powerful one, is about how a family is nearly destroyed by a mysterious video taping of their everyday lives. Juliet Binoche and Daniel Auteuil co-star. Heavy, man, heavy. Date Movie Satire, it says, of date movies, from My Big Fat Greek Wedding to various Julia Roberts vehicles. Pretty broad, yeah? Eidlt Below True story. The Antarcrica. Scientific Expedition. Sled dog5 left behind Do the dog5 survive? The newest Paul Walker adventure. Failure to Launch Romantic comedy with Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey. He still lives at home with his folks. · 1he tlls Have Eyes Radioactivity makes highly mutated monsters. Remake of Wes Craven's first horror hit Ice Age: The Meltdown Don't tell this sequel (CG! animation division) there's no such thing as global warming. Inside Man Denzel Washington, Clive Owen and Jodie Foster (as a villain) star is this bankheist movie which, for some odd reason, the

Doris Duke Theatre AT THE ACADEMY

studio is down-playing the fact that Spike Lee is the director. Go figure. Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector Low-brow comedy with plenny slapstick. It will make a zillion dollars. The Ubertine Based on his resume, it's easy to see what attracted Johnny Depp to The Libertine: Euro-trash accent, big fluffy wig, smugly lecherous dialogue and depravity and obscenity masquerading as debauched artistic license-all qualities too hard to emotively resist. In fact, everyone involved in the making of this film seems to have had such a good time being happily immoral while working under the safety-net-genre of Restoration Costume Drama-thinking it would bring some sort of quality validation simply because it's a wardrobed period piece-that they didn't bother to make the proceedings interesting. There is no real story here, just an oblique account of the last few years in the life of notorious 17th-century poet John Wilmot-aka the Second Earl of Rochester. As far as literary biopics go, there's no conflict, character arc or real depiction in the creation of the writer's work, which is perplexing since the award-winning Stephen Jeffreys adapted the script from his own play. The Libertine looks offensive-but it disappoints. (Reviewed 3/22) -Ryan Senaga The Shaggy Dog Tim Allen in a remake of an earlier Disney hit. She's the Man Crossdressing among teensters. Nurses in attendance. 'i' Slither See review on page 29 Stay Alive Another grue-ridden horror movie. Hostel, it ain't. 'i' Transamerica Felicity Huffman won the Golden Globe as best actress, and was nominated in the same category for an Oscar in this tale of the pitfalls and glories of a sex change assignment. V for Vendetta V for Vendetta is a problematic, illogical and a highly entertaining comic book-to-film adaptation. Regardless, it's the most rousing flick of its kind since Batman Begins. Like The Matrix and its sequels, there are tons of cultural and historical allusions and

Fateless

none of it makes a regurgitated lick of sense, but it's the world portrayed and the action pieces that provide the giddy, alternate realityblockbuster buzz. The politically charged film occasionally pumps you up to start a revolution. About what and how to do it though, is up to you since the film's politics and subtext aren't any deeper or explanatory than the "La Vie Boheme" number from Rent, or George Clooney's Oscar acceptance speech. (Reviewed 3/22)-R.S.

Art House & Short Runs 'i'The Brothers and Sisters of the Toda Family Uapan, 1941) Yasujiro Ozu's classic study of the vanishing protocols of the Japanese feudal era. A must for movie buffs and Japanophiles. Movie Museum, Thu 4/6 & Sat 4/8, 2, 4, 6 & 8PM, $4 members, $5 general, 735-8771

Dir: Lajos Koltai, Hungary, 2005, 14,0m, NR, German, Hungarian w/E.S. April 5 at 7 :30 p.m.

Occupation: Dreamland Dirs: Ian Olds. Garrett Scott, USA, 2005, 78m. R

" ... DreamJaIJ<l gives voice to u~ually tightlipped Gisin and around the rnlatile city of FalJujah. t' - VARIETY

April 6, 7, 8, 11 and 12 at l :00 p.m. April 7 at 4,:00 p.m.

Heroic Grace: The Chinese Martial Arts Film. Part Il The Doris Duke Theatre is proud. to present a ten feature filin rt'trobpective of the

lf'gendary Shaw Brothers Studio. This is a·rare opportunity to rnjoy some of the best martial arb films ever made for the big screen. Organized by the UCLA Film and

Television Archive.© Licensed by Celestial Pictures Ltd. All rights reserved.

Clans of Intrigue ( Chu Limdang) Dir: Chu Yuan, Hong Ko'ng, 1977, 99m, NR, Mandarin w/E.S.

April 6 at 7:30 p.m.

Dirty Ho (Lan Tou Hou) Dir: Lau Kar-leung, Hong Kong, 1979, 100m, NR, Cantonese w/E.S.

April 7 at 7 :30 p.m.

The Boxer From Shantung (Ma Yongzhen) Dir: Zhang Ch", Bao Xueli, Hong Kong, 1972, 126m, NR, Mandarin w/.E.S.

April 8 at 4:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.

King Boxer (Tianxin Diyi Quan) Dir: Chung Chang-wha, Hong Kong, ]972, 97m, NR, Mandarin w/E.S.

April 9 at 4:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.

My Young Auntie (Zhangbei) Dir: Lau Kar-leung, Hong Kong, 1980, lH,m. NR, Mandarin w/E.S.

April 11 at 7:30 p.m.

32 Honolulu Weeldy • April 5-11, 2006 • www.honalulu!ll.com

Consolidated WARD STADIUM 16 594-7000 Consolidated KO'OLAU STADIUM 10 239-0910

'i'Crash (Director's Cut) (Germany, U.S., 2004) Director Paul Haggis has added four minutes to the theatrical release of this Oscar winner as best picture of the year: Movie Museum, Fri 4!7 & Mon 4/10,12:30, 3, 5:30 & 8PM, $4 members, $5 general, 735-8771 Fateless A Hungarian Jewish boy's adventures during and after the Nazi occupation of his country, which The Village Voice says is better than Schindler's List. From lmre Kertesz's novel. Doris Duke Theatre, Honolulu Academy of Arts, 900 S Beretania St, Wed 4/5, 1 & 7:30PM, $5 members, $7 general, 532-8768 The Gem Hunter In Afghanistan: Gem hunter Gary Bowersox returns from his 34th trip to Afghanistan to screen the documentary about his life, his connections and his insights into Afghanistan. University of Hawai'i, Spalding Auditorium, Sun 4/9, 3PM, $3 students, $5 general, 223-013 0

Occupation: Dreamland Award-winning documentary about the Iraq war focusing on the plight of military men trapped in a murky socio-political/militarily rigid and ironic protocol. Doris Duke Theatre, Honolulu Academy of Arts, 900 S Beretania St, Thu 416, 1PM, Fri 4/7, 1 & 4PM, Sat 4/8, Tue 4111 & Wed 4/12, 1PM, $5 members, $7 general, 532-8768 Proof (Australia, 1992) This truly original movie, directed by Jocelyn Moorhouse, stars Hugo Weaving (V for Vendetta) and a young Russell Crowe in this wickedly funny movie about a blind man who photographs his life, and then tries to find someone trustable to describe that life to him. Movie Museum, Sun 4/9, 2, 4, 6 & 8PM, $4 members, $5 general, 735-8771 Qi Gong: Ancient Chinese Healing for the 21st Century: Back by popular demand, this time with featured doctor, Zhi Gang Sha. University of Hawai'i, Crawford Hall (2nd floor, room 105), Wed 4/5;1,PM, .$5, 223-0130 The Tiger's Apprentice (Vieciam, 1998) & Between Two Worlds: The Hmong Sham~ in America (1985): In The Tigei:\ Apprli$tice, i r

documentarian Trinh Nguyeh}tudi~'traditional healing from the Mekong Delta. Between Two Worlds: The Hmong Shaman in America is the story of Laotians who moved from villages to the U.S. to practice tradition-al shamanic rituals and ceremonies. Universi-ty of Hawai'i, Spalding Auditorium, Thu 4/6, 7PM, Sun 4/9, 5PM, $3 students, $5 general, 223-0130

Coming soon A Prairie Home Companion; Dreamgirls (musical); The DaVinci Code with Tom Hanks; The Devil Wears Prada (Meryl Streep); The Fountain (sci-fi); Joyeux Noel (France); Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World; Millions (back by popular demand); The Navigator (1988), revival; Nomad Uason Scott Lee); Over the Hedge (animation); Robin Williams in RV; Neil LaBute's The Wicker Man

NOW PLAYING Consolidated PEARLWEST 16 483-5344 Consolidated KAPOLEI 16 674-8032

Consolidated MILILANI STADIUM 14 627-0200 Regal Cinemas DOLE CANNERY 18 BOO-FANDANGO #1718

Regal Cinemas PEARL HIGHLANDS 12 800-FANDANGO # 1717

Regal Cinemas WINDWARD STADIUM 10 BOO-FANDANGO #1719

Sorry, No Passes Accepted For This Engagement. For Additional Information,

Call Theaters Or Check Directories.

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RESTAURANTS •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

WING HO

Rustic, simple breads are the standouts at Daily Bread.

Bring home this bread

WING HO

Bread doesn't always get the attention that it deserves. How often, when you tear open a fresh baguette, do you

notice its golden brown crust crumble as its chewy, white-as-snow inner mass stretches before it splits? Chances are, you don't observe how it releases a subtle whiff of slightly sour, yeasty aroma. It's OK. Most people simply don't think about what goes into something as simple and humble as a loaf of bread,

As one of the newest bakeries in a town that is partial to white, ultrafluffy and sweetened bread that lacks any true aged flavor, Daily Bread on King Street, a block west of McCully, makes a rare attempt to be a true boulangerie. Aside from baguettes, there are batards (ovalshaped loaves), boules (ball-shaped loaves), rectangular loaves of soft, sandwich bread, croissants, danishes and-not French, but because everyone loves them-savory rolls filled with tuna or ham and cheese.

It is a long process to make all these breads, one that starts at 4AM. Ingredients have to be measured, sponged (the first step of fermentation), mixed, proofed (the second step of fermentation, during which the dough develops volume and flavor), shaped, rested and finally, baked in a custom-built, $50,000 oven. From start to finish, the process takes about three hours for each type of bread-which ends up to be luckily just in time for the standard first cup of coffee at 7 AM.

The yardstick for any boulangerie would be its baguette, and Daily Bread makes a strong effort. When the long, thin loaves first come out of the oven, you can hear the crust crackle like a bowl of

Rice Krispies in milk. The sound combined with the familiar, freshout-of-the-oven aroma is irresistible.

Though I was salivating because I was so eager to rip off a chunk and stuff it into my mouth, I was told by the baker, Hiep Ngyuen, who has been baking French breads for 11 years, to wait. Bread needs to cool off to fully develop its flavor and to bite into the bread immediately does not do its texture justice. Nguyen let the bread cook on its own residual heat for another 20 minutes so that the crust, crumb and flavors could mingle and stabilize. "Good thing to wait," he kept reminding me.

The time finally came when I was allowed to sample bread as fresh as bread can be, and it's quite unlike anything you get at a supermarket. The scores on the surface of the loaf are an aesthetic indication of the baker's skill. On Nguyen's loaves, the equal-sized indentations were picture-perfect. The crust was crisp and difficult to pierce, and the flavor was just as strong-the sweet essence of browned butter and earthy walnuts. The pearl-colored crumb (baker speak for the soft, inner portion of the bread) of the baguettes at Daily Bread are a little dense, lacking the holes that some people enjoy, but that only means more of the slightly sour, complex, fermented and creamy flavors to enjoy. With a dollop of European-style butter, something as simple as a slice of bread can be as exquisite and heartwarming as a fine chocolate truffle.

The croissant enters another realm of French baking that can set the artisan apart. Puff pastry is one of the more elaborate pastries to make. It requires not only time but patience to fold the slabs of butter

into the dough numerous times to create the many layers that puff up when baked. Daily Bread takes the time to do it, and together with the generous amounts of butter in eacb croissant, you can almost taste the love of each layer that is literally created by hand. Their croissants could have had a crisper crust, but the moist and fleshy crumb holds up on its own, or it's even better when it's smeared with a bit of sweet jam.

The most attractive of the breads available is the epi de ble, which means "sheaf of wheat." It's a regular baguette that has been clipped with a pair of scissors and alternately flipped over on itself, with the end loaf resembling a stalk of wheat This is the perfect baguette to serve at the dinner table, where everyone can tear off an individual piece, a process more rustic and Jess messy than putting the crusty loaf under a serrated knife.

Also attractive are the raisin, walnut and rye breads. The random specks of color add a wholesome visual appeal, and the light flavorsespecially the sweetness of the raisins-are a pleasing break from the norm.

There are many elements to good bread, and like wine, every step of the process has something to do with the quality of the final product. A well-tended loaf, beyond satisfying the stomach, can be a treat for the palate as well. •

Daily Bread 1909 South King Street (951-6634)

Hours: Mon-Sat 7AM-7PM Recommended: baguette ($1.95), epi de ble ($2.00), ham-and-cheese roll ($1.50), chocolate croissant ($0.75) Payment: Cash only

FREE PARKING BYOB

Catering Available

Ha.tt.?.rM Taste Gentry Pacrnc Design Center

560 N. Nimitz Hwy. ~ 538-0597 .~ :'. "\ w\V\v.motaste.com

SUNDAY,APRIL 16 CLOSED FOR DINNER

RESTAURANT Row

533-4476

Easter Menu FIRST COURSE

Dill Marinated Salmon SECOND COURSE

Crispy Shrimp Pasta MAIN COURSE choice of one ...

Thyme Marinated Butterfish or Grilled Rib Eye Steak

DESSERT

"ACTION STATION"

"Banana Foster Profiteroles"

$29 per person


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NEW & NOTEWORTHY •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

New & Noteworthy

BC Burrito 3607Wai'alaeAve. (7374700), Sun-Thu 10AM-9PM, Fri-Sat lOAM-lOPM, Burritos starting at $4.99. V, MC. BC Burrito is no-frills fast food with plenty of choices and speedy service. Your choice of a flavored tortilla (flour, whole wheat, spinach and tomato chile) is placed in a steam press along with the cheese. Then your toppings--choice of chicken mole, chicken bay leaf, pork, beef, chile verde or veggies-are spooned on with beans, guacamole and sour cream. The coolest, or hottest, thing about BC Burrito is their huge selection of hot sauces. This little bar alone is a reason to return.

E&O Trading Co Ward Centre, 1200 Ala Moana Blvd (591-9555). Sun-Wed ll:30AM-10:30PM, Thu-Sat ll:30AM-11:30PM. Entries: $15.95-$22.95. AmEx, Disc, MC, V. E&O Trading Co knocks you out with design (J. Crew gone Balinese) and the food is a pan-Asian reworking of food from Southeast Asia and India. Think of it as the Asian cousin of the Cheesecake Factory. Have a tapas-style meal to go with great house cocktails like pomegranate margaritas or go the full threecourse route.

lmanas 2626 S King St, Dimnond Head of University.Ave (941-2626). Mon-Sat 5-1 l:30PM. A la carte: $2.50-$12.50. Beef shabushabu: $18.50. AmEx, DC, MC, V. Nihon-jin flock to this warmly minimalist room, but lots of people still don ' t know about it. Exemplary classic Tokyo-style sushi is as close as you'll come to Sushi Sasabune in this price range. Order a parade of beautifully

H 0

Cupcake lady It takes a special kind of devotion to wake up in the wee hours of the morning, day after day for 41 years to prep the dough, man the ovens and put the love into baking that separates fresh-baked pastries from the shrink-wrapped ones in the supermarket. It's that same sincere devotion that makes Joan Oda, who kids dubbed "the cupcake lady," prepare a goodie bag for each student at Kauluwela Elementary School every Halloween. Joan and her husband Arthur opened New Aala Bakery in 1966, and they've been putting smiles on their customers' faces ever since with sweet treats and their treasure trove of stories. Some people come for the haupia donuts, others come for the custard pie. Over the years the Odas have become experts on baking, with a firm grasp on what flours yield what elasticities of bread. But more importantly, the daily interactions with the people in their community have rendered them delightful purveyors of life. And are the pastries good, you ask? They sold 2,600 sweetbread rolls at this year's Punahou Carnival Liliha Shopping Center, UlS Liliha St, Mon-Fri 6AM-6PM, Sat 7AM-1PM, SJJ-6988

composed plates-grilled butterfish, seaweed salad, chilled kabocha pumpkin, shabushabu salad-to go with sips of sake and shochu. The sake list is short but sweet; it changes whenever owner Keisuke Asai makes a new discovery.

Kenny's Kamehameha Shopping Center, 1620 N School St (841-3733). Sat-Wed 6AM-10PM; Thu 6AM-l l:30PM; Fri 6AM-midnight. $9-$17. MC, V. Four decades old, Kenny's got a facelift last fall but still is a great old-fashioned diner, where you can sidle into a booth and get your eggs over easy. Salads are verdant mountains and burgers are big. But those in the know go for the fresh fish of the day program. You can get a

u s E

garlic ahi steak for a mere $9.99, or go high end with a $16.99 broomfish.

Mi Casa 3046 Monsarrat Ave (737-1562 ). Tue-Fri l 1AM-9PM; Sat & Sun noon-9PM. Combo plates: $7.95-$12.95. MC, V. BYOB. At Honolulu's latest casual taqueria, you can get the familiar staples-soft tacos, burritos, enchiladas-along with a few new items, such as mulitas,. a type of quesadilia oozing with Monterey Jack and the filling of your choice (picadillo is a good option). The pork carnitas are the juiciest in town-the meat is finished in milk and orange juice, making it super moist and subtly tangy. The thick com tortillas are handrolled and come fresh off the grill, soft as the

wheat-flour version. On a hot night, take a seat in the adjacent sliver of a deck with that six-pack of Dos Equis you brought along.

Ola 57-091 Kamehameha Hwy, Kahuku (293-0801), 1JAM-3PM & 5-9PM, Entrees: $16.95-$37.95. V, MC, Disc, AmEx Chef Fred D' Angelo demonstrates his notable flair for Mediterranean fusion and Pacific Rim cuisine at Ola, literally on the water' s edge at the Turtle Bay Resort. In addition to regional standards like grilled ahi and rniso butterfish, he puts creative twists on Hawaiian favorites like the colorfully plated and loaded Kalua Pork and Goat Cheese Nachos. The Steamed Clams with a splendid roasted garlic white wine broth is the exceptional plate on the menu. Chocolate lovers should not hesitate to order the Chocolate Decadence Cake.

Wahoo's Fish Taco 940 Auahi St (591-1646), · Sun-Wed 11AM-9PM, Thu-Sat llAM-lOPM, Combos: $5-$11.75. V, MC, Disc, AmEx Wahoo's comprehensive menu contains more than 20 items, including combos that include heaps of rice and beans, sal-

News you can eat

ads and, best of all, a decent selection of Mexican beer. The classic burrito with shrimp is the most appealing offering. Stuffed with crisp shrimp, spicy white beans, sauteed onions, tomatoes and melted cheese, it's clean, filling and exactly what a quick meal on the go should be.

Vanni's Greek and Mediterranean Cuisine 500 Ala Moana Blvd. (585-8142), MonWed, Sat 5PM-1AM, Thu-Fri llAM-lAM, Prices: Entrees $15.50-$25.50, V, MC, AmEx If a Greek restaurant can' t do calamari, it can't really be called Greek. Yanni's does calamari--curly, bite-sized pieces of extra-tender octopus tossed in a tempura-light breading. The supple mezethe's counterpart is the saganakia triangle of pan-fried kefalograviera sheep cheese that is rich, heavy and savory with a squirt of lemon. Add it to the homemade rolls-dense balls of pale, yeasty bread-and the trio of dips (tzatziki, made with Yanni' s yogurt; melitzanosalata, an eggplant dip similar to Middle Eastern baba ghanoush; and teramosalata, fish roe dip) and you could ask for the check and go home happy. The kiawe-fired pizzas are also fantastic.

The annual Dale DeGroff Spirited Pinner will be held on Friday, April 28 at the Haleku· lani (2199 Kalia Rd). Executive Chef Daryl Fujita created a six-course Pacific fusion menu complemented by mix-master Dale DeGroff's inventive cocktail pairings. For example: Kona Kampachi Ceviche with Micro Greens and a Yuzu and Basil Emulsion matched with a Yuzu Vodka Gimlet, Creamy Artichoke Soup and Lump Crab Souffle paired with a Fino Sherry based Adonis Cocktail, and Herb Roasted Kobe Style Beef and a Blood and Sand Cocktail. Even the hors d'oeuvres sound tempting: Ahi Tataki Crackers and Oyster and Caviar Shooters paired with a French 75, a blend of brandy, champagne, lemon juice and simple syrup. Seats are $150 including tax and gratuity. Call 931-5030 for reservations.• What's new on your plate? Email [email protected]

GREAT OCEANFRONT DINING

AT REASONABLE PRICES

SUNSET, SURF AND

DIAMOND HEAD

VIEWS.

Outrigger Reef on the Beach • 2169 Kalia Rd • 923-2277 Dinner 5-lOpm • Valet Parking

34 Honolulu Weekly • April 5-11, 2006 • -.lionoluluwMldy.com

• Large selection of Beers on Tap

• Live, Local Entertainment 4:30-1 AM

• Late Night Menu til 1 AM

• Easy Valet Parking

, , , and tlw (?}:1/JM& a#e on, tlw !5!2tuie,

SHORE BIRD RESTAURANT & BEACH BAR

Outrigger Reef Hotel on the Beach 2169 Kalia Road

922-2887

Classified Career Source

General Employment

EXPERIENCE ALASKA! Trident Seafoods is looking for women and men to work at our remote Alaska shoreplants and vessels. Free round trip transportation from Seattle to jobsite. Requires: papers to work in the U.S., excellent health, ability to work 16 to 18 hr

days, pass physical and drug test. Pay starts at $7.15 per hr/$10.72 OT/Bonus on vessel! Interviews at 9 am SHARP on April 21 and 22, Best Western Hotel,

3253 N. Nimitz Highway, Honolulu. EOE. For more Info: 206-789-8545

It's exciting. It's brilliant.

It's two thumbs way up

for the premier opening

of three brand new

Wendy's stores in Aiea, Pearl City, and Waipio (Gentry City) Hawaii! And the starring role

goes to YOU for joining

our cast as one of our:

CREW MEMBERS You'll enjoy star treatment - including a respectful

environment, flexible schedules, free career

apparel, meal discounts and much more!

(But unfortunately no private jets just yet.)

To get top billing apply in person at a Wendy's

nearest you or call 808-282-1 ~72. [ amiiiiiiis.l wendys.com

EEO Employer Wendy's = opportunity & diversity

Announcements BUYER BEWARE

Honolulu Weekly does not warrant the fitness or merchantability of any advertised good or service, or

the reliability of any advertiser. Readers are encouraged to make these determinations for themselves.

We would like all of our classified readers to know that we try to screen our ads prior to publishing

them. We read the ad copy for our advertisers to

insure it's accuracy. We cannot, however guarantee the reliability of our adver·

tisers. Advertisements that have been placed by

the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies

Design/ Production

Restaurant / Bar

COMIC BOOK/ANIME MOCHA JAVA CAFE ARTIST good at animals, Join our family! percentage completed proj- Mocha Java Cafe is hiring ect. Non-returnable sam- and you could be the one pies. WVP, P.O. Box 15184, we're looking for. Want to be Honolulu, HI 96830 & PAR- a part of our team? We ROTMAN COMICS, DEPT. LB, have full-time and part-time 50 Amesbury Road, positions available: Rochester, NY 14623 • Servers

General Employment

•Baristas •Cook • Dishwasher Apply in person at MOCHA JAVA CAFE at Ward Centre. WAIT HELP and Dancers wanted make $$$ Daily. Hourly+ Commissions and benefits. Call Dean at 847-2266

VANNI'S Authentic Greek Cuisine

COLD STONE CREAMERY

Do you love ice cream, making people

happy,earning great tips and having fun on the

job? Then we want to meet you!

Full/part time positions. Apply in person

11 am -7pm, Cold Stone Creamery, ResortQuest

Waikiki Beach Hotel, 2570 Kalakaua Ave.

Off ice Manager Position Available

Excellent opportunity to work in a people-friendly environment promoting uplifting personal growth books and seminars.

Seeking an individual with proven professional skills in

office and project management to direct an international per-

sonal growth organization. Candidate must be authoritative with the ability to prioritize in a dynamic work environment, act independently and responsibly

and delegate projects and duties to other employees.

Candidate must possess up-Iodate computer (PC) skills including proficiency with Microsoft Word and Excel,

excellent typing skills and abili· ty to navigate the Web.

35-40 hours per week with a starting salary of $16 per hour.

Please email your resume to [email protected]

Sales/ Marketing

NEW Apparel line seeking experienced sales reps with existing relations with department stores on the island. For information contact Kenny Hill. e-mail [email protected] or call 349-6189.

Work from Home

I

HOME TYPISTS NEEDED! Earn $3,500-$5,000 Weekly! Typing from Home! Guaranteed Paychecks! No Experience Needed! Positions Available Today!

are indicated with the acronym, "AAN CAN"

www.aan.org

ENTERTAINMENT LIGHTING COMPANY IS LOOKING FOR CDL-A DRIVERS, ELECTRONICS TECHNICIANS & STAGE ELECTRICIANS FOR THE 2006 SEASON · CALL 843-0383 The ARTS at Marks Garage needs a very part-time Janitor for our Community /\rt Center. Email info@artsatmarks.com for a full job description or call

Brining the Mediterranean Register Online Now!

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Art / Creative Tattoollclous is opening .:.52:..1::..:-2::..:9:..:0...c3.c.... ____ _ positions 1or Hawaii WESTAFF Is HIRING

team? We have several positions open in our family style business and offer a great working environment.

Nude Models Wanted

licensed rattoo artists. Great artistry. professional, positive outlook. No Drugs or Thugs. Portfolio and shop experience a must. Extremely busy shOp in Waikiki GREAT BENEFITS and MEDICAL Insurance. Contact Sean at 808-779-4243 or e-mail through website: TATTOOLICIOUS.COM

Business Opportunities

EARN $3,500 WEEKLY! Data Entry Workers Needed Online Immediately! Work from Home! Guaranteed Income! No Experience Necessary. Register Online Today! www.DataEntryCash.com (AAN CAN) Get Paid To Shop! Mystery Shoppers Needed to Pose as Customers! Training Provided FT /PT. CALL NOW!! 1·800-721-8626. (AAN CAN)

We're now hiring: PHOTOGRAPHY MODELS Temporary assignments •Kitchen Staff WANTED! now available for Recep· •Wait Staff

$80/hr. Requires tasteful nudity - NO PORN! Females 18-25. Please call 623-4574.

tionists, Waitstaff, General •Cooks (Min. 3 yrs exp.) Office, Sewing Machine For more information, call Operator. Warehouse and 585-8142 before 11am or more at www.west- leave a message if later. affhawaii.com. Experience required. Excellent weekly pay. Some temp to hire posi· lions available. Please call WESTAFF at 524-0411, fax your resume to 524-8636 or email to [email protected]. GOVERNMENT JOBS $12-48/Hr. Full Benefits/Paid Training. Work available in areas like Homeland Security, Law Enforcement, Wildlife, More! 1'800-320· 9353 x2001. (AAN CAN) HOME REFUND JOBS! Earn $3,500 - $5,000 Weekly Processing Company Refunds Online! Guaranteed Paychecks! No Experience Needed! Positions Available Today! Register Online Now! www.PaidRefundJobs.com (AAN CAN)

DO YOU LIKE MOVIES?

HW Street Team is growing and seeking interns to help us with our

Special Events / Movie Promotions

Get Free Swag. Watch Free Movies.

Join our Marketing & Promotions team

and promote the paper you love to read.

For more info contact Eric Lopez at

528-1475, x27 or [email protected]

,.

Realtor

SALES PERSON WANTED MLMer's great opportunity to earn a six figure income

your first year in business. Money, trips and recognition for the work you do.

CALL FOR THE NEXT OPPORTUNITY MEETING

808-722-7776. This is not an MLM.

WE'RE GROWING!

WANT TO WORK FOR THE PAPER YOU LOVE TO READ?

HONOLULU WEEKLY HAS SEVERAL EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES.

Production Manager You are methodical and organized, masterful

with Macintosh, have extensive experience

with QuarkXPress, PhotoShop, Illustrator,

Acrobat, lnDesign and PDF formats.

You work with editors and salespeople with a

_smile. You keep your sense of humor during the

darkest moments of a deadline!

Sense of irony a must.

Minimum 3 years experience in publishing.

Should be familiar with prepress & print pro

duction standards. Design or graphics degree

preferred. Salary commensurate with

experience.

Please send cover letter, resume,

three references and work samples to:

Ilsa Enomoto, Production Manager, [email protected]

Classifieds Account Executive

We're seeking a sharp individual

to join our talented team.

We share a small space, we work hard, we

laugh a lot and we like what we do! Wanna

work for the paper you love to read?

Applicants must have sales experience & good

interpersonal skills.

Computer literacy, adequate typing skills

& respectable phone voice are also required.

We offer base pay (commensurate with exoe·

rience) plus commission and a fun work env

onment. 'iend ·esume with cover letter & three 1eferences to:

Lei Ana E. Green, Classifieds Sales Manager. /[email protected]

Display Account Executive

Seeking a creative, intelligent and energetic

sales pro who understands and appreciates

the alternative press. This desk comes

with accounts, base pay (commensurate with

experience) plus commission.

We're looking for a strong, experienced

salesperson who can round out our terrific

team of employees.

Must be able to sell with integrity

and passion.

To sell us cin yourself, send your pitch to:

Laurie Carlson. [email protected]

HONOLULU

Weekly The alternative to the daily grind.

1200 College Walk, Ste, 214 Honolulu, HI 96817 NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE

Classified Index Phone: 808-534-7024

Fax: 808-528-3144 [email protected]

Career Source page 35 Adult page 36 Marketplace page 37 Music Connection page 36 Real Estate page 37 Services page 37 Transportation page 37 Personals page 37 Mind Body Spirit page 38 Back Page page 40

Ad Deadlines Line Advertising: Copy, space reservations and

payment must be submitted before Monday, 10 am.

Display Advertising: Copy, space reserva

tions, art and payment must be submitted by 12 pm on

the Friday prior to publication. Call for rates.

Placing an Ad By Phone: Call the Classified Department at

(808) 534-7024 Monday through Friday from 8:30 am

to 5 pm.

By Fax: Fax your ad 24 hours a day to the

Classified Department at (808) 528-3144.

By Mail: Mail your ad to Honolulu Weekly

Classifieds, 1200 College Walk, Suite 214,

Honolulu, HI 96817.

By E-Mail: Email your ad copy to •

[email protected].

In Person: Visit our offices

Monday through Friday 8:30 am to 5 pm at

1200 College Walk, Suite 214.

Corner of Beretania and A'ala Streets

The 'Fine' Print Prepayment required for all classified ads. Discounts

available on extended advertising commitments. No

refunds. Credit limited to reprinting one insertion.

We reserve the right to edit, decline or properly

classify any ad.

Classified Line Ads • Private arty $26.25

(ads run for ,veeks-25 words)

Commercial advertising per wee : • Real Estate $1.60/word

(Shared Rentals, Vacation Rentals, Homes for Sale)

• Employment $1.60/word (Business Opportunities, Help Wanted, W'.>rk from Home)

• Mind, Body, & Spirit $1.05/word (Health & Frtness, Massage, Spiritual, Alternative Healing))

• Service Directory $1.05/word

• Music Instruction $1.05/word 25 word minimum. Rates are per insertion .

Frequency Discounts The following frequency discounts for commercial

advertisers are available with consecutive week

schedules:

4weeks 10%

13 weeks 15%

26 weeks 20%

52 weeks 25%

Headlines & Enhancements •Two words may be in caps and bold: $2 extra for

each additional bolded or capitalized word over two.

•Centering - extra $5 per line

www.honoluluweekly.com • April 5-11 , 2006 • Honolulu Weekly 3S

- ' .

e . raight

ope By Cecil Adams

Robert Essenhigh, a pro

. fessor of mechanical engineering at Ohio State, has written an essay disputing the idea that hu-

man activity is causing global warming. He is part of an academic group that opposes the Kyoto treaty. Although I have a PhD. in physical organic chemistry and have done some work in environmental areas, I cannot dismiss his arguments out of hand. ls Professor Essenhigh right and can we all go out and buy SUVs? Or are there convincing arguments to the contrary? With the Kyoto treaty on the rocks, it'd be nice to know.

-Jon Kapecki, Rochester, New York

I get a lot of letters like yours, Jon, basically asking me, a weekly alternative newspaper columnist, to resolve one of the great controversies of our age.

No problem, that's"what I do. Given an 800-word limit, however, you'll excuse my taking a few shortcuts.

So here we go: Are greenhousegas emissions from our fuel-guzzling cars, power plants, etc., a significant contributor to potentially catastrophic climate change? Answer: Beats

me. But you know wllat? It doesn't matter even if they are.

First, Essenhigh. The professor argued in a 2001 article in Chemical Innovation that average global temperatures were rising but that, contrary to wide popular and scientific opinion, human activity wasn't the principal cause. Rather, the fluctuations we're now seeing are part of a natural cycle that's been going on for eons. Essenhigh's reasoning appealed largely to common sense: Carbon dioxide, the most widely discussed greenhouse gas, is part of earth's vast store of carbon (about 150 billion tons), which is continually being cycled through the oceans, the atmosphere and vegetation. The human contribution to atmospheric carbon in the form of CO2 is small, less than 5 percent of the total carbon reservoir. Ergo, humans aren ' t causing global warming. I omit a lot of ancillary discussion, but that's the nub.

One might raise scientific objections to this reasoning, but there's no point.

CO2 isn' t just an incidental result of human activity that you can get rid of with smokestack scrubbers. Rather, it's an inherent product of the combustion of carbon-based fu-

. Adult

els such as coal and oil. The only practical way to produce less in the short term is to use less organic fuel.

This brings us to the Kyoto Protocol to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, which the U.S. has famously refused to ratify. Kyoto calls for drastic cuts in emissions of CO2 and other greenhouse gases-5.2 percent below 1990 levels, or 29 percent below projected 2010 levels. These numbers alone suggest the implausibility of the goal. To brutally oversimplify, greenhouse-gas emissions = energy use= economic activity. (Again, I'm speaking short-termlong-term we'll switch to nukes and other inorganic energy sources.) To produce fewer emissions now your one choice is to shrink your economy, i.e., become poorer. (Russia, to cite a grim example, is among the

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few industrialized nations that can meet its Kyoto target due to its economic collapse since 1990.) Nonation is going to voluntarily impoverish itself, however noble the cause. What's more, Kyoto exempts developing nations, which are expected to vastly increase their energy consumption and thus their emissions. In short, Kyoto if implemented would mean economic chaos for no net improvement. Ain't gonna happen, as even Kyoto's fans are beginning to concede.

So, should we quit worrying, buy SUVs and party on? On the contrary. Fossil fuels are to the developing world today what the American forest was to this country two centuries ago-a cheap, easily exploited resource that permits extraordinary economic growth for the short time that it lasts. The U.S., through

ILlUSTRATION: SLUG SIGNORINO

its huge trade deficits and job exports, is now financing the industrialization of Asia, a result we didn't intend but would be foolish to impede-clearly we want teeming nations like China, India and Indonesia to become prosperous, stable societies. Making that happen, though, will take decades of steady investment and jigawatts of energy, the price of which will climb steeply once fossil fuels run out. Hastening that none-too-distant day through frivolous use of the supplies we now have would be stupid (although fossil fuel depletion will also end the emissions problem). A more realistic approach is to say, OK, we're going to bum this fuel and cope with whatever dire result, but let's put the stuff to good use while we've got it. That means distributing improved technology to use energy more efficiently and pollute less. Amazingly, just such an approach was agreed to last year when the U.S.,Australia, China, India, Japan and South Korea formed the Asia-Pacific Partnership on Clean Development and Climate, which may go down as Dubya's saving grace after having screwed the pooch in Iraq. •

Comments, questions? Take it up with Cecil on the Straight Dope Message Board, www.straightdope.com, or write him at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago 60611. Cecil's most recent compendium of knowledge, Triumph of the Straight Dope, is available at bookstores everywhere.

How to write a classified ad that WORK$

Writing an effective classified ad is easy

when you know how. Don't know where to

start? Try here ... • Use a keyword Start your ad with the

item for sale, the service offered or the

job title

• Be descriptive Give people a reason to respond. Advertisers have found that the more information you provide, the bet

ter the response. Transsexual §ta..-let Li§a Lawr-ence

3SDD-24-33 9" golden skin & long hair

ALWAYS FREE TO LISTEN & REPLY TO ADS

• Limit abbreviations Use only standard abbreviations to avoid confusion and

misinterpretation.

HOT SEXY

In Waikiki for II short visit in I out 24 hrs. All credit eards

36 Honolulu Weekly • April 5-11 , 2006 • www.honoluluweeldy.com

24/7 Friend l y Cu stom er Care q 8 88} MegaMates 18 t 2006PCLLC • Include price Always include the price of the item for sale.

• Get attention Use enhancements such as bolding, centering (for line ads); large type, white space, decorative elements such as stars or clip art (for display ads) to

bring attention to your ad.

• RSVP Always include a phone number, street or e-mail address.

Honolulu Weekly Classifieds 534-7024

· Music Connection

FIND YOUR BAND HERE S20tor 4weeks

Mail your text of 25

words or less and check

or money order to:

Honolulu Weekly Attn: Classifieds

1200 College Walk, Ste.

214 Honolulu, HI 96817

Text and payment must

be received by Monday,

10 am for the following

Wednesday

Please include your

name, mailing address

and phone number

just in case!

If your ad is over 25

words, we reserve the

right to editthe ad to

meet requirements.

*

Instruction HEAVY METAL Bassist will teach you to play your instrument by learning YOUR FAVORITE songs. Berklee School Grad performed with STYX/Peter Gabriel/ Julian Lennon/ Warrant. All levels welcome. 927-4668

PIANO LESSONS In Your Home. Given by qualified, experienced teacher. Beginners and children welcome. Call 371-2264.

Instruments for Sale

90's AMERICAN Strat and Telecaster, 15 watt Line6 amp, Tacoma Chief acoustic/electric plus assorted gear. $2,000 takes all. 923-4614 evenings or leave message. ALESIS KEYBOARD In good condition. Call for Details. Selling for only $500. Call 216-8896 HAMMOND CHORD ORGAN A real classic! rarely used asking $1,000 080. 2 Poncho Gonzales tennis Rackets $100 a piece 080. Much more. Call Joanie, 955-0902. Want to advertise, but not sure where to start? Call Lance for expert advice! Honolulu Weekly's Music Connection * 534-7024 *

LP CD DVD MP3

Musicians & Bands Wanted

70's Funk dance band forming. Soulful keyboard player, conga/ percussionist, horns and singers needed to create new band Call 342-7443 ANCHOR Christian band auditioning more musicians. Keyboard player, Lead guitarist, bass guitarist, drummer and singers call Cherry at 391-3950. Bassist seeking guitarist(s) to form Country/ Rockabilly band. Johnny Cash style. 223-1083 CHRISTIAN BAND forming. Need drummer, bassist, plus other. Hard rock & some Hip Hop willing to tour / move if God takes us to that level 358-1518

MANAGER SEEKING Experienced, keyboard players, Lead guitarists, singers, Bass Guitarists and Drummers who are looking for a band they can call home. Variety and original songs for part time gigs. Call 341-5406 or 622-5544 for info. and audition. Seeking lead guitarist to fill position in modern rock band. professional skills, gear, and attitude required. call 33~553 or 812-449-9076 Need a band mate who doesn't suck? HW Music Connection Need a new guitar with all the strings? HW Music Connection Need that Paul Simon

SELL YOUR VINYL FOR record to complete your CA$H! WANTED: Rock, collection? Pop, Jazz, Blues, Hawaiian HW Music Connection LPs - Also buying reel Need we say more? tapes, posters & related HW Music Corinection music memorabilia - Call Where musicians connect. #351-4398. 534-7024 • Call TODAY!

, Real Estate For Sale

BANK FORECLOSURES! Homes from $10,000! 1-3 bedroom available! HUD, Repos, REO, etc. These homes must sell! For listings Call 1-800-425-1834 ext.H404 Location, location, location. Don 't get left behindl classifieds.honoluluweekly.com

Shared Rentals Maklkl Hts., female preferred to share with family. Large, breezy, fully furnished room with city / ocean views in estate home. Best, stable, upscale neighborhood in area. Washer /dryer, parking, dish tv & road-runner. Utilities inc. $950 month, Glenn, 636-1371

There's More Slim pickings?

Acres of ads are ONLINE at classifieds.honoluluweekly.com

All day. Every Day. classifieds.honoluluweekly.com

Honolulu Weekly Real Estate only at

classifieds.honoluluweekly.com

Marketplace Antiques/ Collectibles

·we,ell

Moving? Paying too much for storage? Spring Cleaning? Consolidating? Fundraising? A Business with Overstock?

Free appraisals to sell your items on eBay! We do the work, you get the cash! Simple and easy!

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Bargain Bin CIGAR BOXES & TINS

$1 and up. Beautiful styles & designs. Use for crafts, storage or whatevahs! Tobaccos of Hawaii @ 512 Atkinson. 942.PUFF.

SELL YOUR STUFF! Your couch, your cow, your Star Wars bed sheets. We're talkin' premium "preowned" goods, baby! Advertise for less than $1 a day. We're cheap so you don't have to be! Honolulu Weekly Marketplace 534-7024

808.589. I I 02

Marketplace Mall

I '

n E D M E AT from the secret files of I{ bedeviled by bejeezus "'1Q)( cannon

When I went for my milk bath this morning I noticed my tub's contents had been replaced with fetid cottage cheese. Are you the culprit?

However...if eighty gallons of rancid milk were mixed with enough urine, it would turn into a curd-like white soup.

Sure. What's up, Papa Moai? No way. I don't have access to that much cottage cheese.

Hmm. I might be angry if I wasn't partially to blame.

Service Directory Carpet Cleaning

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Adoption PREGNANT? Thinking ADOPTION? Talk with caring people specializing in matching birthmothers with loving families nationwide. EXPENSES PAID. Toll free 24/7 One True Gift Adoptions 1-866-921-0565. (AAN CAN)

Alterations / Custom Tailoring

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CLEARING Since you're cleaning the carpets now is a great time to clear the clutter, for FREE. Go online to classifieds.honoluluweekly.com and place your free ad to sell that old stuff.

Education/ Instruction

Professional ARCHITECT AVAILABLE

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Photography

WANT TO BREAK INTO THE

INTERNATIONAL

FASHION INDUSTRY?

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Call 226-5989 [email protected]

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FREE

I.heard the news today.

Oh Boy! Free online

classifieds at

honoluluweekly.com

I would like to thank Honolulu Weekly for running my advertisement on handy man

services. I received too much business from that advertisement! I also received a level of professional commitment that surpassed the competitors. Thank you, Honolulu · Weekry.

SEW WHAT!? Alterations, home decor, dressmaking, contract sewing and unique jean embellishments. 735-0563

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April 5-11 , 2006 • Honolulu Weekly 37

by Rob Brezsny

(March 21-April 19) If you live to be 90 years old, you will have spent a total of eight months sitting in your car stopped at red lights. In addition, you will have wasted 10 months standing in lines at stores, banks and government agencies, and you will have lost almost two years killing time while hoping that a certain phone call, letter or email will arrive. That's the bad news, Aries. The good news is that few of those agonizing pauses will be racked up in the near future. This is one time when "no waiting" is the rule. You could make three months' progress in 15 days.

(April 20-May 20) I once knew a psychic who worked with people in comas. He contacted their spirits, which were wandering in limbo between this world and the next, and tried to convince them to either fully return to their bodies or else let their bodies die and formally exit to the other side. The task you now face is nowhere as dramatii:ally life-and-death as that, Taurus, but it's comparable in a sense: Being neither here nor there is a futile state that you shouldn't continue to accept. Do what's necessary to make the knotty choice with as much grace as possible.

GtffilNI (May 21-June 20) Plato said God was a geometer who created an ordered universe imbued with mathematical principles. Through the. ages, scientists who've dared to speak of a Supreme Being have sounded the same theme. Galileo wrote, "To understand the universe, you must know the language in which it is written. And that language is mathematics." Modern physicist Stephen Hawking says that by using mathematical theories to comprehend the nature of the cosmos, we're trying to know "the mind of God." But philosopher Richard Tarnas proposes a different model tlian these three. In his book Cosmos and Psyche, he suggests that God is an artist-more in the mold of Shakespeare than Einstein. Your assignmen~ Gemini, is to practice seeing the world like that: as a sublime work of art crafted by a master of drama, suspense and storytelling. In my opinion, your life these days is a lyrical example of this divine craft.

c.ANCU Uune 21-July 22) "All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware," wrote philosopher Martin Buber. That's sometlting you're on the verge of proving, Cancerian. Any day now I hope you will discover the hidden truth about a treasure you didn't know you've been searching for; you will stumble upon the surprising answer to a riddle you hadn't even realized you desperately need to solve.

uo Uuly 23-Aug. 22) I bad a dream about my three closest Leo friends. In the dream, I was observing them as they wriggled out of cocoons that were banging from a large tree that resembled a dinosaur skeleton. They were covered with feathers, and their arms had turned into wings, though they still had human faces. Once they were free of the cocoons, they soared away. As I watched their ascent, my own arms began to lr'dllsform into featl1ered wings. I felt that I, too, would soon be able to fly. Here's how I interpret my dream: You Leos are ready to take off, and your flights will serye as inspiring examples to other people.

VI.AGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Did you ever get one of tl1ose spam emails informing you that you've won the lottery in the Netherlands or tliat your government is trying to locate you in order to give you the assets of a distant relative who died and left you an inheritance? In the coming week, you should be alert for messages that contain authentic versions of those phony come-ons. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you have become eligible for benefits you don't know about or have barely guessed the existence of.

(Sept. 23-0ct. 22) The World Conservation Union says that one out of every eight of the Earth's plant species is facing ei.1inction. The threat is even higher in tl1e US, where 29 percent are at risk. You may imagine this has no impact on your personal life, but I believe your deep self experiences it 1vith tremendous sadness and loss. In accordance with current astrological omens, you might consider addressing the situation by revitalizing your connection to the plant world. Try singing to a forsytltia bush. Hug a cherry tree. Say a prayer for a garden. Eat a salad or drink chamomile tea with reverent gratitude. Buy a new African violet for your home.

iCO.nPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Your power animal is the Hawaiian fish known as the humuhumunukunukuapua'a It has two spines, and that'll be a good symbol for you in the coming days: You'll need to have a powerful backbone as you weather challenges to your integrity and autl1ority. The humuhumunukunukuapua'a is also able to wedge itself into tight spaces to seek temporary refuge from its adversaries. That has a metaphorical resemblance to a skill I hope you'll cultivate. Finally, the humuhumunukunukuapua'a looks like a pig and makes pig-like grunts. You'll benefit from having a sintilar ability to confound people about what kind of animal you are. Having multiple identities will keep you strong.

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21) I'm not in the least sorry about that time 15 years ago when Brandon and Anah and I jumped on the roof of a stranger's BMW at 3 AM and belted out songs from West Side Story. Nor do I have any regrets about burning 3 7 dollar bills and kissing 32 people's asses at 2003's Burning Man festival during my Sacred Uproar Revival show. I'm also at peace 1vith scores of other past actions that lacked decorum and dignity. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Sagittarius, it's a good time for you to do something similar: Celebrate the outrageous, extreme, uninhibited things you've done that caused no harm and raised the levels of fun in your part of the world. Then go out and do some more.

rn P.A I co.n N (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Things you DON'T particularly need right now: excuses to procrastinate; urges to retreat into hardened positions and fixate on the way things used to be; a willingness to politely tolerate control freaks; fantasies about changing the personalities of people you love. Things you DO need: a 1vindy day, a meadow and a dragorlish kite; more raw curiosity and better questions; a slightly irrational diversion that fires up your inlagination; an idiosyncratic altar in your bedroom; more gratitude for and intimacy 1vith your muse; finger paint and five large sheets of paper so you can illustrate your life story.

.AQU.A.AIUi Oan. 20-Feb. 18) Aquarian actress and talk show host Tallulah Bankhead (1902-1968) had a lot to say. According to her biographer Joel Lobenthal in his book Tall11/ah!: The Life and Times of a wading J,ady, she sometimes spoke nonstop for hours, and in the course of one especially loquacious day uttered upwards of 70,000 words. Let's make her your role model for the coming week, Aquarius. I believe it's your sacred duty to express even more thoughts, jokes, observations and strean1-of-consciousness messages than you usually do. Fl11ency is your middle name.

PliCU (Feb. 19-March 20) My best friend in ltigh school was James, a Piscean artist. His work was so wild and beautiful that it scared his parents. Instead of seeing him as he was-a budding creative genius-they suffered from the delusion that he was mentally ill. They confined him to an 1sylum and forced him to undergo shock treatments. Since they thought I was a bad influence, they forbade us from having contact. I lost track of him when I went to college, and later he dropped out of sight. Tltis week I decided to google James. I was ecstatic to find that he has grown up big and strong. He's an inventor and philanthropist living in Florida, having made loads of money from !tis numerous creations. In line 1vith your astrological omens, I nominate him to be your inspiration. May his triumph over his past rouse you to recover some of the fullness of the brilliance that was suppressed and wounded when you were young. Homework: Compose a sincere prayer in which you ask for something you're not supposed to. Testify at www.freewillastrology.com.

You can call Rob Bre7Sny, day or night, for your "Expanded Weekly Horoscope" at (900) 950-7700. Don't forget to check out Rob's Web site at www.realastrology.com $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required C/S. (612) 373-9785


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