Narrative Writing Your “snapshot” moment

• Re-read your journal entry about special relationships & moments.

• Choose a moment –Moment chosen – yellow planning pg.

–Still thinking – notebook paper

Choosing your moment

PLANNING

Narrative Lead:

My Dad Learning to ride my bike without training wheels

Image of a my red bike, leaning on it’s kickstand in the driveway, with no training wheels. Training wheels are on my dad’s workbench. He’s taken them off and he won’t put them back on again. I have to learn to ride without them.

Incude: Setting, Characters, Describe the central relationship, Mood (emotions of the moment)

Context:

I was afraid of riding my bike without training wheels.

I’d tried once before, with dad, but I fell off and skinned my knees.

It’s been several years now, and I haven’t tried to learn again.

All my friends go w/o training wheels. Even my younger brother.

• Background that your reader needs to know. • What happened before this that is important? • Why is the relationship important?

Narrative Body:

Dad refusing to put them on again but encouraging me by saying he’ll help.

The scary way the bike wobbles without training wheels to lean on.

Riding down the street with dad holding on to the back of my seat.

Being afraid when Dad first lets go and stopping the bike with my feet.

What actions will happen? Be thinking about these questions … What will you describe? What dialogue will you include? Where can you include figurative language?

Turn:

Trying again. Telling Dad not to let go this time.

Dad does let go without telling me.

I ride down what feels like the whole street before I realize it.

The wonderful feeling I have when I realize what I’ve just done.

What is the highpoint or most dramatic moment in the story?

How will you make that moment stand out?

Closing:

The pride in accomplishing something I feared.

Love for my dad who knew I just needed a little push.

The bike that once looked monstrous now looks defeated and

harmless in the driveway.

The training wheels collecting dust on Dad’s workbench.

• Return to the original description and extend it. • Describe the lesson you learned from the experience (in a

subtle, not obvious, way)

I saw the shiny red dragon leaning slyly on its kickstand in the driveway. It sparkled trickily, and I knew it couldn’t wait to throw me off again.

Metaphor about my scary bike

(also personification)

Every other kid in the whole entire world had already learned to ride their bike without training wheels. Every kid except me.

Hyperbole about how left

out I felt

As I began to ride, I felt the bike jolt and tip, like a flimsy Jenga tower at the end of the game. I was about to come tumbling down.

Simile about how the bike

wobbled

Title

For title idea:

• Review figurative language images

• Think about the image for your turn

Taming the Red Dragon

My Dad Learning to ride my bike without training wheels

Image of a my red bike, leaning on it’s kickstand in the driveway, with no training wheels. Training wheels are on my dad’s workbench. He’s taken them off and he won’t put them back on again. I have to learn to ride without them.

I was afraid of riding my bike without training wheels. I’d tried once before, with dad, but I fell off and skinned my knees. It’s been several years now, and I haven’t tried to learn again. All my friends go w/o training wheels. Even my younger brother.

Dad refusing to put them on again but encouraging me by saying he’ll help. The scary way the bike wobbles without training wheels to lean on. Riding down the street with dad holding on to the back of my seat. Being afraid when Dad first lets go and stopping the bike with my feet.

The pride in accomplishing something I feared. Love for my dad who knew I just needed a little push. The bike that once looked monstrous now looks defeated and harmless in the driveway. The training wheels collecting dust on Dad’s workbench.

Trying again. Telling Dad not to let go this time. Dad does let go without telling me. I ride down what feels like the whole street before I realize it. The wonderful feeling I have when I realize what I’ve just done.

Taming the Red Dragon

Drafting

•Use Planning Sheet to help you write your rough

draft

• On notebook paper

Narrative Lead:

One a hot, sticky Georgia-summer day when I was ten, I came outside to a scary sight. The shiny red dragon was there, staring me down from the driveway and leaning jauntily over to one side. I realized as I looked on that my once beloved red bike had betrayed me. The training wheels that had accompanied me for so many wonderful rides lay abandoned off to the side. “Today’s the day,” my dad said encouragingly, coming out of the house behind me. I just stared at the bike. Then I looked back at my dad. “Please, just put them back on for today?” I pleaded. “We can try another time.” “Nope. You’re learning today. It’s time.”

Context: It was time. I was already the only kid on our street that rode my bike with my training wheels still squeaking behind me. I was pretty sure that every other kid in the whole entire world had already learned to ride their bike without training wheels. Every kid except me. Even my younger brother, two-and-a half years my junior learned to ride the summer before. I wanted very much to join them. I longed to cast aside the training wheels to which I so desperately clung. “I can’t Dad,” I argued. “I just can’t!” The truth was I was scared. Dad already had tried to teach me once. Two years ago, my training wheels came off, and the lessons began. But after one big fall, I was done. I demanded that the training wheels be returned and refused to try again. Every time I even thought about taking off my training wheels now, I felt the sharp bite of my skinned knees. I felt the jolt in the pit of my stomach as I fell toward the street. The fear overwhelmed me, and I had managed to avoid the task for the past two summers. But it looked as if my time had run out.

Narrative Body:

“Okay,” Dad prodded. “Let’s go.” I approached the bike slowly. It looked like it was winking at me in the bright, harsh light. I could tell it would just love to throw me off again. Dad wheeled the bike to the street and patted the black seat. I approached and with great trepidation sat slowly, gingerly on the high seat. “Now, you need to pedal. But I’ll be behind you holding on the seat the whole time” Dad coaxed. “Promise?” I asked, eying my Dad suspiciously. Dad pushed the bike, and I was off. I put my feet on the pedals, and the bike seemed to speed forward. As I began to ride, I felt the bike jerk and lean. I felt as wobbly and unbalanced as a flimsy Jenga tower at the end of the game. I was about to come tumbling down. I slammed my feet to the ground. My sneakers skidded across the pavement and scraped the bike to a stop. “You were almost there!” Dad exclaimed. “Come on! You almost have it!” “You let go!” I whined. “I can’t do this. I don’t want to try again. I’m going to fall!”

Turn:

Dad promised again that he wouldn’t let me fall. Somehow, he got me back on the bike for another try. Back on the bike, Dad gave it another push. This time the bike seemed to race on, even faster than before. It wobbled again, but then it seemed to straighten out. As I pushed the pedals, the bike charged on, steadily and more steadily still. When I glanced back, I realized that Dad was no longer holding my bike steady. He was several mailboxes behind me, smiling and waving. I’d done it! I was riding alone! And suddenly, in that moment, my fear melted away. The scary slippery dragon bike under me yielded to my command. It turned and swayed to my direction, as I whirled around and coasted back into our driveway.

Closing:

I hopped off, beaming at my dad. I didn’t figure it out until many years later, but he’d known the whole time that I was ready. He’d been watching me ride with the training wheels and could tell I didn’t need them anymore. He knew all I needed was that little push to confront my fears. Dad picked up the training wheels and put them on a shelf in his workbench where they stayed, gathering dust. We made our way back inside, but I took one last look at my leaning bike. As I looked back, the once snarling beast looked harmlessly back at me. It had been defeated.

Revising

Think about each of the following:

• Add another specific detail

• Re-write and improve a sentences or phrases

• Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belong

• Change the order of a sentence or phrase

• Add at least one strong vocabulary word

• Add another creative image

• Add paragraphs when you change main ideas

• Improve your introduction sentence

• Improve your concluding sentence

• Add or improve the title

• Check all spelling and grammar

Re-read your piece a final time for other improvements

Read your piece again slowly to review what you wrote

Mark your changes in a DIFFERENT COLOR

RUBRIC

Name: ____________________ Period: _________

Narrative Writing Rubric

_____/ 40 Points Narrative Structure

Narrative lead: establishes setting, characters and context necessary for understanding story(10)

Body: Includes action and events organized in a logical chronological way (10)

Turn: The story builds up to a moment of strong, intense emotion (10)

Closing: Story concludes with a clear sense of a lesson or an insight (10)

_____/ 40 Points Narrative Content

Description: Detailed, vivid, clear, purposeful (10) Action: Purposeful momentum, driven, clear (10) Dialogue: Correctly used, used with purpose (10) Figurative Language: Clear, varied, vivid (10)

_______/20 Points Final Copy Quality

Spelling & Grammar are correct (10) Cellphone Image/Texts: Detailed and developed (10)

____________/ 100 points SUMMATIVE GRADE

Final Copy • Write neatly. For cellphone, CHOOSE 1 option:

Texted Conversation Snapshot Picture Write a texted conversation that could have taken place during or after your snapshot moment.

Draw a picture that could have been snapped during your moment.

Final Copy • Written neatly and clearly • Creative Title • Clear Cellphone Visual:

• Texted conversation • “Snapshot” Image

OR

DUE TODAY Planning Sheet

(yellow handout)

Rough Draft (notebook paper)

WITH revisions

Final Draft (with cellphone Text & images)

ADD DRAFT