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INFORMATION TO USERS

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films the text directly from the original or copy submitted. Thus, some

thesis and dissertation copies are in typewriter face, while others may be

from any type of computer printer.

The quality of this reproduction is dependent upon the quality of the

copy submitted. Broken or indistinct print, colored or poor quality

illustrations and photographs, print bleedthrough, substandard margins,

and improper alignment can adversely affect reproduction.

In the unlikely event that the author did not send UMI a complete

manuscript and there are missing pages, these will be noted. Also, if

unauthorized copyright material had to be removed, a note will indicate

the deletion.

Oversize materials (e.g., maps, drawings, charts) are reproduced by

sectioning the original, beginning at the upper left-hand comer and

continuing from left to right in equal sections with small overlaps. Each

original is also photographed in one exposure and is included in reduced

form at the back of the book.

Photographs included in the original manuscript have been reproduced

xerographically in this copy. Higher quality 6” x 9” black and white

photographic prints are available for any photographs or illustrations

appearing in this copy for an additional charge. Contact UMI directly to

order.

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Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission.

BEING A WRITER IN GRADE ELEVEN:

CASE STUDIES OF SIX STUDENTS

A Thesis

Submitted to the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research

In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements

for the Degree of Master of Education

in Curriculum and Instruction

11/

Valerie Mulholland

Regina, Saskatchewan

July, 1997

Copyright 1997: V. Mulholland


BEING A WRITER IN GRADE ELEVEN:

CASE STUDIES OF SIX STUDENTS

A T hesis

Submitted to the Faculty o f Graduate Studies and Research

In Partial Fulfillm ent o f the Requirem ents

for the D egree o f M aster o f Education

in C urriculum and Instruction

tyV alerie M ulholland

R egina, Saskatchewan

July, 1997

Copyright 1997: V. M ulholland


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Canadig

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UNIVERSITY OF REGINA

FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES AND RESEARCH

PERMISSION TO USE POSTGRADUATE THESES

TITLE OF THESIS: Being a Writer in Grade Eleven: Case Studies of Six Students

NAME OF AUTHOR: Valerie Mulholland

FACULTY: Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research

DEGREE: Master of Education

In presenting this thesis in partial fulfillment of the requirements for a postgraduate degree from the University of Regina. I agree that the Libraries of this University shall make it freely available for inspection. I further agree that permission for extensive copying of this thesis for scholarly purposes may be granted by the professor or professors who supervised my thesis work, or in their absence, by the Head of the Department or the Dean of the Faculty in which my thesis work was done. It is understood that any copying, publication or use of this thesis or parts thereof for financial gain shall not be allowed without my written permission. It is also understood that due recognition shall be given to me and to the University of Regina in any scholarly use which may be made of my material in my thesis.

SIGNATURE:

DATE:

fr kh...a.Arct.t.4

1,1- or- 23.




PERMISSION TO USE POSTGRADUATE THESES

TITLE OF THESIS: Being a Writer in G rade Eleven: Case Studies o f Six Students

NAME OF AUTHOR: Valerie Mulholland

FACULTY: Faculty of G rad u ate Studies and Research

DEGREE: Master of Education

In presenting this thesis in partial fulfillment of the requirements for a p o stg raduate degree from the University of Regina. I a g re e th a t the Libraries of this University shall m ake it freely availab le for inspection. I further a g re e tha t permission for extensive copying of this thesis for scholarly purposes m ay b e gran ted by the professor or professors who supervised my thesis work, or in their a b se n c e , by the H ead of the Departm ent or th e D ean of the Faculty in which my thesis work was done. It is understood tha t any copying, publication or use of this thesis or parts thereof for financial gain shall not b e allowed without my written permission. It is also understood th a t d u e recognition shall b e given to m e and to th e University of Regina in any scholarly use which m ay b e m ad e of my material in my thesis.


SIGNATURE:

DATE: 77- oK- t j .



CERTIFICATION OF THESIS WORK

We, the undersigned, certify that Valerie Mulholland, candidate for the Degree of Master of Education, has presented a thesis on Being a Writer in Grade Eleven: Case Studies of Six Students, that the thesis is acceptable in form and content, and that the student demonstrated a satisfactory knowledge of the field covered by the thesis in an oral examination held on July 23, 1997.

External Examiner.

Internal Examiners: D. S. Shrofel, Supervisor

14,d




CERTIFICATION O F THESIS WORK

We, th e undersigned, certify th a t Valerie Mulholland, c an d id a te for the D egree of Master of Education, has p resen ted a thesis on Being a Writer in G rade Eleven: Case Studies of Six Students, tha t th e thesis is a c c e p ta b le in form an d content, an d th a t the student dem onstrated a satisfactory know ledge of the field covered by the thesis in an oral exam ination held on July 23, 1997.

External ExaminerDr.

Internal Examiners:

\ C Rbss, Faculty of E d u c tio n

—v is o r UDr. S. Shrofel, Supervisor

nr&nfcdiqh R C.Wionol

) k u l u u ) b I . d c u d s J ____________________


Abstract

Six student writers in grade eleven were studied by their English teacher

for one semester. The teacher-researcher collected the writing the students did for

class, kept anecdotal field notes of class activities and conversations, and formally

interviewed each of the students about writing. The teacher-researcher began

with the question "What is it like to be a writer in a high school?" Related

questions emerged: How do students understand what "good" writing is? What

function does writing have in the lives of the students in and out of school?

Samples of extra-curricular writing were also collected, including notes to the

teacher from students, and examples of writing done outside of class which

students gave the teacher. Each student is presented separately.

Part One of the study introduces the teacher-researcher and the

parameters of the study. In Part Two, students are presented as writers using

excerpts of the transcripts of the interviews with the teacher-researcher,

supplemented by samples of their writing. Part Three is comprised primarily of

excerpts and interpretation of the students' writing. Part Four consists of a

presentation of three separate points arising from the case studies: students see

themselves as successful writers; students use writing to create their own

meanings; students present and construct a self using writing. A discussion of

implications for practice concludes the study.

i


Abstract

Six student writers in grade eleven were studied by th e ir English teacher

for one semester. The teacher-researcher collected the writing the students did for

class, kept anecdotal field notes of class activities and conversations, and formally

interviewed each of the students about writing. The teacher-researcher began

with the question "What is i t like to be a writer in a high school?" Related

questions emerged: How do students understand w hat "good" w riting is? W hat

function does writing have in the lives of the students in and out of school?

Samples of extra-curricular writing were also collected, including notes to the

teacher from students, and examples of writing done outside of class which

students gave the teacher. Each student is presented separately.

P art One of the study introduces the teacher-researcher and the

param eters of the study. In Part Two, students are presented as writers using

excerpts of the transcripts of the interviews with the teacher-researcher,

supplemented by samples of their writing. P art Three is comprised primarily of

excerpts and interpretation of the students' writing. Part Four consists of a

presentation of three separate points arising from the case studies: students see

themselves as successful writers; students use writing to create the ir own

meanings; students present and construct a self using writing. A discussion of

implications for practice concludes the study.

i


Acknowledgements

I am grateful to my thesis supervisor, Dr. Salina Shrofel, who has inspired me

since the day I met her. To have had her approval has made all the difference.

My thanks also to Dr. Meredith Cherland and Dr. Carol Leroy for reading so

carefully, and for providing such insightful advice.

For financial support, I acknowledge the Regina Public School Board, for

granting me an educational leave, and the University of Regina, for a Scholarly

Research Award and the MacKinnon Scholarship.

I thank Aaron, Anne, Cassie, Jackie, Roger and Sandy for their enthusiasm,

honesty and co-operation. Working with them was a privilege.

ii


Acknowledgem ents

I am grateful to my thesis supervisor, Dr. Salina Shrofel, who has inspired me

since the day I met her. To have had her approval has made all the difference.

My thanks also to Dr. M eredith Cherland and Dr. Carol Leroy for reading so

carefully, and for providing such insightful advice.

For financial support, I acknowledge the Regina Public School Board, for

granting me an educational leave, and the University of Regina, for a Scholarly

Research Award and the MacKinnon Scholarship.

I thank Aaron, Anne, Cassie, Jackie, Roger and Sandy for their enthusiasm,

honesty and co-operation. Working w ith them was a privilege.


TABLE OF CONTENTS

ABSTRACT

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

TABLE OF CONTENTS

i

ii

iii

PART ONE: WRITING TOGETHER: CREATING COMMUNITY, CREATING MEANING

I. A COLLABORATIVE WRITING EVENT IN A GRADE ELEVEN CLASSROOM 1 II. WHO I AM, WHAT I BEGAN LOOKING FOR, AND THE PEOPLE WHO

DECIDED TO COME ALONG 20

TWO: STUDENTS DEFINE THEMSELVES AS WRITERS I. INTRODUCTION 34

A. JACKIE 35 B. ROGER 46 C. CASSIE 57 D. AARON 67 E. ANNE 75 F. SANDY 81

PART THREE: HOW WRITING FUNCTIONS IN THE LIVES OF STUDENTS I. INTRODUCTION: STUDENTS AS PARTNERS 94 II. STUDENT WRITING: EXCERPTS FROM WRITING FOLDERS, INTERVIEWS AND FIELD NOTES 98

A. ANNE 99 B. AARON C. ROGER D. SANDY E. JACKIE F. CASSIE

116 128 140 151 166

PART FOUR: WHERE WE SHOULD TRAVEL NEXT I. WHAT I THINK I SAW

A. STUDENTS SEE THEMSELVES AS SUCCESSFUL WRITERS 179 B. STUDENTS USE WRITING TO CREATE THEIR OWN MEANINGS 180 C. STUDENTS PRESENT AND CONSTRUCT A SELF USING WRITING 185

II. IMPLICATIONS FOR TEACHING WRITING 1

REFERENCES 195

APPENDICES 205

iii

PART

176


TABLE OF CONTENTSABSTRACT i

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ii

TABLE OF CONTENTS iii

PART ONE: WRITING TOGETHER: CREATING COMMUNITY, CREATING MEANING

I. A COLLABORATIVE WRITING EVENT IN A GRADE ELEVEN CLASSROOM 1II. WHO I AM, WHAT I BEGAN LOOKING FOR, AND THE PEOPLE WHO

DECIDED TO COME ALONG 20PART

TWO: STUDENTS DEFINE THEMSELVES AS WRITERSI. INTRODUCTION 34

A JACKIE 35B. ROGER 46C. CASSIE 57D. AARON 67E. ANNE 75F. SANDY 81

PART THREE: HOW WRITING FUNCTIONS IN THE LIVES OF STUDENTSI. INTRODUCTION: STUDENTS AS PARTNERS 94II. STUDENT WRITING: EXCERPTS FROM WRITING FOLDERS,INTERVIEWS AND FIELD NOTES 98

A. ANNE 99B. AARON 116C. ROGER 128D. SANDY 140E. JACKIE 151F. CASSIE 166

PART FOUR: WHERE WE SHOULD TRAVEL NEXTI. WHAT I THINK I SAW 176

A STUDENTS SEE THEMSELVES AS SUCCESSFUL WRITERS 179B. STUDENTS USE WRITING TO CREATE THEIROWN MEANINGS 180C. STUDENTS PRESENT AND CONSTRUCT A SELF USING WRITING 185

II. IMPLICATIONS FOR TEACHING WRITING 188

REFERENCES 195

APPENDICES 205

H I


Part One: Writing together: creating community, creating meaning

My observation of and participation in writing workshops suggests that, in fact, they are, like any social situation, multifaceted, shifting scenes full of conflicting and contending values and purposes, played out by a cast of unique actors - students, teachers, (and observers). These performers view the ongoing scene from their own shifting perspective within it, as they negotiate their identities amid the cacophony of voices and social roles around them. (Ritchie, 1989, p. 153)

L A collaborative writing event in a grade eleven classroom

The classroom windows are open because the warm weather has

finally arrived. In Saskatchewan, this alone would be a sufficient cause to

celebrate, but the imminent arrival of the first long weekend of the summer

is an even better reason to have some fun. Primarily for these reasons, the

arrival of summer and the prospect of a holiday, the class is working on a

short, self-contained collaborative writing project. Earlier they read a

parody from their literature anthology and now are busy planning their

own parodies.

The students formed their own groups for this activity. The class

members get along well, in general, and to my knowledge, never ostracise

any individual student. A variety of combinations of students emerge. Of

the eight groups formed, two are all girls and two are all boys. All of the

groups are heterogeneous in terms of academic performance. In fact, a

history of academic success does not appear to be an important element in

the students' choices of partners, but the social standing of individuals

does. Predictably, friends gravitate towards friends. Popular students

quickly attract partners, and in some cases, take charge of the activity. A

good deal of intense and sometimes boisterous negotiation takes place. All

1


Part One: W riting together: creating community, creating m eaning

My observation of and participation in writing workshops suggests tha t, in fact, they are, like any social situation, multifaceted, shifting scenes full of conflicting and contending values and purposes, played out by a cast of unique actors - students, teachers, (and observers). These performers view the ongoing scene from their own shifting perspective within it, as they negotiate their identities am id the cacophony of voices and social roles around them.(Ritchie, 1989, p. 153)

L A collaborative w riting event in a grade eleven classroom

The classroom windows are open because the warm weather has

finally arrived. In Saskatchewan, this alone would be a sufficient cause to

celebrate, bu t the imminent arrival of the first long weekend of the summer

is an even better reason to have some fun. Primarily for these reasons, the

arrival of summer and the prospect of a holiday, the class is working on a

short, self-contained collaborative writing project. Earlier they read a

parody from their literature anthology and now are busy planning their

own parodies.

The students formed their own groups for this activity. The class

members get along well, in general, and to my knowledge, never ostracise

any individual student. A variety of combinations of students emerge. Of

the eight groups formed, two are all girls and two are all boys. All of the

groups are heterogeneous in terms of academic performance. In fact, a

history of academic success does not appear to be an im portant element in

the students' choices of partners, but the social standing of individuals

does. Predictably, friends gravitate towards friends. Popular students

quickly a ttract partners, and in some cases, take charge of the activity. A

good deal of intense and sometimes boisterous negotiation takes place. All

1


students know that before the weekend begins, each small group will

introduce their parody proposals to the whole class, so time is a motivating

factor, but a second element, public performance, soon becomes a concern.

As the teacher, I do not have to make performance value an explicit

part of the assignment because students know their work will be presented

orally to the whole class. This type of group assignment is a form of

publishing in the writing workshop. Most groups decide on a topic with

very little discussion and move quickly toward drafting a script, which is

more complicated than simply writing a proposal for a parody. Possibly,

students know that a script will be more entertaining, and more likely to be

well received by their audience. For this assignment, the physical presence

of the audience becomes a motivating factor, too.

Some students sit on the floor. Others sit on desk tops, leaning

towards their partners to keep the really good ideas secret from other

groups. A few students work diligently at their desks, consulting others in

their group and jotting down notes as they talk. Two groups have moved to

the adjacent room, which I call the English annex, even though the

administration continues to insist that it is the school lunchroom. The

students there work around tables. Except in the case of the group

planning a parody of a soap opera, most of the planning discussions are

interrupted by bursts of laughter. The noise does not disrupt progress; it is

part of their process, an indication that something is getting done. I move

between the rooms, answering assorted questions, offering encouragement

and looking forward to what will happen next.

Snapshots of four of the groups in action will indicate to some extent

the dynamics of group work in the class. Each of the four groups selects a

different topic and has a different collaboration pattern. In some groups,

leaders emerge who either openly affirm or reject suggestions of others in a 2


students know th a t before the weekend begins, each small group will

introduce th e ir parody proposals to the whole class, so time is a motivating

factor, but a second element, public performance, soon becomes a concern.

As the teacher, I do not have to make performance value an explicit

part of the assignment because students know their work will be presented

orally to the whole class. This type of group assignment is a form of

publishing in the writing workshop. Most groups decide on a topic with

very little discussion and move quickly toward drafting a script, which is

more complicated than simply writing a proposal for a parody. Possibly,

students know th a t a script will be more entertaining, and more likely to be

well received by their audience. For th is assignment, the physical presence

of the audience becomes a motivating factor, too.

Some students sit on the floor. O thers sit on desk tops, leaning

towards their partners to keep the really good ideas secret from other

groups. A few students work diligently a t their desks, consulting others in

their group and jotting down notes as they talk. Two groups have moved to

the adjacent room, which I call the English annex, even though the

adm inistration continues to insist th a t i t is the school lunchroom. The

students there work around tables. Except in the case of the group

planning a parody of a soap opera, most of the planning discussions are

interrupted by bursts of laughter. The noise does not disrupt progress; it is

part of their process, an indication tha t something is getting done. I move

between the rooms, answering assorted questions, offering encouragement

and looking forward to what will happen next.

Snapshots of four of the groups in action will indicate to some extent

the dynamics of group work in the class. Each of the four groups selects a

different topic and has a different collaboration pattern. In some groups,

leaders emerge who either openly aflirm or reject suggestions of others in a2


style reminiscent of a teacher, while in other groups, a more co-operative

process is used. Students see opportunities to write together as a reward,

as an enjoyable experience. Building on the work of Bruffee (1984, 1986),

Janda (1990) supports the use of collaborative writing in traditional

classrooms because "proceeding from the work of Vygotsky and Bakhtin,

educational theorists have argued that because thinking and language use

develop in attempts to interact with others, thinking and writing skills

should be cultivated in interactive, collaborative situations" (p.291). Ideally,

students develop a variety of skills when they write together. "Between the

student self and the generic social self, teachers might hope to cultivate a

third self, a collaborative self, which understands that there is another,

different participation structure that is useful in collaborative events"

(Janda, 1990, p.312). In this activity, students must compose together,

which is different from writing only for the teacher, or for themselves, and

supports development of the kind of atmosphere which is needed to make a

writing workshop successful. Although there is a subtle pressure to create

an inventive, entertaining piece of work, the greatest challenge to the

students is to work together efficiently.

The collaborative writing activity blossoms with very little teacher

talk, possibly because these students are accustomed to working and

writing together. Although not the predominant form of writing students

do, writing in teams is encouraged in class. Students routinely give written

and oral feedback, and edit each other's work. A key distinction this time

may be that one of the stated objectives is to have some fun. As a group,

they appear equal to the challenge.

The first group sits close to the board at the front of the room, near

the open door. Clearly the power-house of the trio, Jackie keeps Dan and

Bob on task by acting primarily as the recorder. Only when the writing is 3


style reminiscent of a teacher, while in other groups, a more co-operative

process is used. Students see opportunities to write together as a reward,

as an enjoyable experience. Building on the work of Bruffee (1984, 1986),

Janda (1990) supports the use of collaborative writing in traditional

classrooms because "proceeding from the work of Vygotsky and Bakhtin,

educational theorists have argued th a t because thinking and language use

develop in attem pts to interact with others, thinking and writing skills

should be cultivated in interactive, collaborative situations" (p.291). Ideally,

students develop a variety of skills when they write together. "Between the

student self and the generic social self, teachers might hope to cultivate a

third self, a collaborative self, which understands that there is another,

different participation structure th a t is useful in collaborative events"

(Janda, 1990, p.312). In this activity, students m ust compose together,

which is different from writing only for the teacher, or for themselves, and

supports development of the kind of atmosphere which is needed to make a

writing workshop successful. Although there is a subtle pressure to create

an inventive, entertaining piece of work, the greatest challenge to the

students is to work together efficiently.

The collaborative writing activity blossoms with very little teacher

talk, possibly because these students are accustomed to working and

writing together. Although not the predominant form of writing students

do, writing in team s is encouraged in class. Students routinely give w ritten

and oral feedback, and edit each other's work. A key distinction this tim e

may be tha t one of the stated objectives is to have some fun. As a group,

they appear equal to the challenge.

The first group sits close to the board a t the front of the room, near

the open door. Clearly the power-house of the trio, Jackie keeps Dan and

Bob on task by acting primarily as the recorder. Only when the writing is3


well under way does she relinquish control of the pen allowing the boys to

take turns writing down ideas. Jackie's handwriting is large and easy to

read, while Dan and Bob have tiny, cramped script. Neither Dan or Bob is a

confident writer, but each says he enjoys collaborating. They see

themselves as having creative ideas. These two have collaborated with

Jackie before, with good results, and seem to be aware of the advantages of

having her for a partner. Both depend on Jackie's expertise in all forms of

language, and for the most part, co-operate with her. Before other groups

have even settled into a physical space to work, this group has a topic and is

brainstorming ideas. To work with Jackie is, by definition, to be organized.

The group has one class period to plan their presentation and they do not

waste a minute. They wave to friends passing by the open classroom door,

but do not engage any hallway wanderers in conversation. Jackie, Bob and

Dan effortlessly move beyond a simple proposal, and write a draft of a

television talk show parody.

Anne also works with two male partners, Chad and Dave. Normally,

she works exclusively with members of a group of students who are often

described as "skaters": Aaron, Darla, Angie and Barry. Skaters are a

group within the school characterized by their devotion to skate boarding

and their large, baggy clothes. The skaters are regular, voluntary

participants in the author's chair portion of the class, and so is Anne.

Anne actively collaborates with Chad and Dave in the group writing.

Although very quiet, she is not a timid participant in these situations; in

fact, she is typically a leader in a small group. When I ask Anne's group

questions about their topic, Dave offers, "We will parody a children's clown

show." So he says. Even to a naive soul such as I, it seems a tame topic,

given this alliance. Routinely, Chad, Dave and Anne challenge the rules of

the classroom. After hearing bits and pieces of this proposal in the 4


well under way does she relinquish control of the pen allowing the boys to

take turns writing down ideas. Jackie's handwriting is large and easy to

read, while Dan and Bob have tiny, cramped script. Neither Dan or Bob is a

confident writer, but each says he enjoys collaborating. They see

themselves as having creative ideas. These two have collaborated with

Jackie before, with good results, and seem to be aware of the advantages of

having her for a partner. Both depend on Jackie's expertise in all forms of

language, and for the most part, co-operate with her. Before other groups

have even settled into a physical space to work, this group has a topic and is

brainstorming ideas. To work with Jackie is, by definition, to be organized.

The group has one class period to plan their presentation and they do not

waste a minute. They wave to friends passing by the open classroom door,

but do not engage any hallway wanderers in conversation. Jackie, Bob and

Dan effortlessly move beyond a simple proposal, and write a draft of a

television talk show parody.

Anne also works with two male partners, Chad and Dave. Normally,

she works exclusively with members of a group of students who are often

described as "skaters": Aaron, Darla, Angie and Barry. Skaters are a

group within the school characterized by their devotion to skate boarding

and their large, baggy clothes. The skaters are regular, voluntary

participants in the author's chair portion of the class, and so is Anne.

Anne actively collaborates with Chad and Dave in the group writing.

Although very quiet, she is not a timid participant in these situations; in

fact, she is typically a leader in a small group. When I ask Anne's group

questions about their topic, Dave offers, "We will parody a children's clown

show." So he says. Even to a naive soul such as I, it seems a tame topic,

given this alliance. Routinely, Chad, Dave and Anne challenge the rules of

the classroom. After hearing bits and pieces of this proposal in the4


brainstorming stage, I detect the ubiquitous influence of late-night

American cable television, but I cannot be sure. A good deal of laughter

comes from the corner as this piece is composed.

Another group, Aaron, Lance and Ryan decide immediately to work

together, and move to the lunchroom. Lance gets high marks and has

many friends at school. Ryan is new to the school, and does not do much

writing in class. He describes himself as an idea man. In drama class,

Ryan is famous for taking risks and testing the teacher's limits. The third

group member, Aaron also has a talent for acting and regularly chooses

assignments involving dramatic performance. Thus, having the option of

writing a script is a dream assignment for this team. Initially, I circle

their table often, suspecting that Lance will do most of the work; however,

from what I observe, the group is absorbed by this activity, and all three

make enthusiastic contributions. I take note that they stay late after class to

finalize plans. On most days, Ryan is first out the door when the bell rings

and class is dismissed.

Jenna, Stacey, Carolyn and Cassie are friends outside school and

only have to adjust their desks slightly to sit together as a group. When

offered the chance, they work together very productively. They spend most

of the group time developing individual character profiles, but they talk

about their favourite soap operas, too. Apparently, they are all serious soap

fans. "I don't know why I watch them. I know they're so dumb. But I get

caught up in the messes they cause for themselves," says Stacey. There is

not much laughing and many pages of notes are taken. Soap operas are an

area of expertise for them; the conventions and motifs of day-time dramas

are not a mystery.

The following day, presentations begin. Representatives from each

group sign up to establish the order of events. Some are eager to go first, 5


brainstorming stage, I detect the ubiquitous influence of late-night

American cable television, but I cannot be sure. A good deal of laughter

comes from the corner as this piece is composed.

Another group, Aaron, Lance and Ryan decide immediately to work

together, and move to the lunchroom. Lance gets high m arks and has

many friends a t school. Ryan is new to the school, and does not do much

writing in class. He describes himself as an idea man. In drama class,

Ryan is famous for taking risks and testing the teacher’s limits. The third

group member, Aaron also has a ta lent for acting and regularly chooses

assignments involving dramatic performance. Thus, having the option of

writing a script is a dream assignment for this team. Initially, I circle

their table often, suspecting tha t Lance will do most of the work; however,

from what I observe, the group is absorbed by this activity, and all three

make enthusiastic contributions. I take note th a t they stay late after class to

finalize plans. On most days, Ryan is first out the door when the bell rings

and class is dismissed.

Jenna, Stacey, Carolyn and Cassie are friends outside school and

only have to adjust their desks slightly to sit together as a group. When

offered the chance, they work together very productively. They spend most

of the group tim e developing individual character profiles, but they talk

about their favourite soap operas, too. Apparently, they are all serious soap

ferns. "I don't know why I watch them. I know they're so dumb. But I get

caught up in the messes they cause for themselves," says Stacey. There is

not much laughing and many pages of notes are taken. Soap operas are an

area of expertise for them; the conventions and motifs of day-time dram as

are not a mystery.

The following day, presentations begin. Representatives from each

group sign up to establish the order of events. Some are eager to go first,5


and do, while others are more reticent and skirmish, taking numbers

seven and eight. Because the talk is being taped by the teacher, more fuss

than usual is made about maintaining complete silence while the groups

present their parodies or parody proposals. Sound quality has entered into

the mix of concerns, and no one wants to sound "lame." The excerpts from

transcripts of the actual presentations which follow represent as the tone

and spirit of each group's work.

Jackie, Dan and Bob go first. Jackie's authority is evident when she

leads the group to the front of the room and sits between her partners,

directing the action. The sound of scraping metal drowns out the

classroom noise as chairs are assembled for each member of the group.

Jackie holds the script, as Bob and Dan look on. With a nudge from Jackie,

Dan announces that their parody is of a television talk show. They smile

and acknowledge the applause of class members. Obviously, grade eleven

students are familiar with the protocol of television talk shows. No other

preliminary explanation is necessary.

J: Ok / do you know what to do B: Don't you trust me or what

J: Ok / Hello hello hello and welcome to the show /

and what an interesting show it is today / a rarity /

a family of nine is here to talk to us about the

values held in such an extended family / so please

help me to give that genuine welcome for the Zingerfelters

The class responds again with studio quality applause. When Jackie utters

the name Zingerfelter, an important cue is given. The class knows this will

be funny.

6


and do, while others are more reticent and skirmish, taking numbers

seven and eight. Because the talk is being taped by the teacher, more fuss

than usual is made about m aintaining complete silence while the groups

present their parodies or parody proposals. Sound quality has entered into

the mix of concerns, and no one w ants to sound "lame." The excerpts from

transcripts of the actual presentations which follow represent as the tone

and spirit of each group's work.

Jackie, Dan and Bob go first. Jackie's authority is evident when she

leads the group to the front of the room and sits between her partners,

directing the action. The sound of scraping metal drowns out the

classroom noise as chairs are assembled for each member of the group.

Jackie holds the script, as Bob and Dan look on. W ith a nudge from Jackie,

Dan announces th a t their parody is of a television ta lk show. They smile

and acknowledge the applause of class members. Obviously, grade eleven

students are familiar with the protocol of television talk shows. No other

prelim inary explanation is necessary.

J: Ok / do you know what to doB: Don't you tru st me or whatJ: Ok / Hello hello hello and welcome to the show /and what an interesting show it is today / a rarity /a family of nine is here to talk to us about thevalues held in such an extended family / so pleasehelp me to give tha tgenuine welcome for the Zingerfelters

The class responds again with studio quality applause. When Jackie utters

the name Zingerfelter, an im portant cue is given. The class knows this will

be funny.

6


J: Hi there guys / Oh you can sit on the chairs

there's enough seats for all of you / Why don't we

start with introductions so that myself and the

studio audience can sort of get to know you all a

little bit better / Let's start with you / are you Zelda,

Zelina, Zachary or Zephyr Zingerfelter

D: Well ma'am I'm Zeus Zingerfelter and I'm

really happy to be here today / I love to start fires

and watch gasoline tanks burst into flames / that's

all for now (very softly, while rubbing his hands)

fire / fire / fire ( voice fades away)

The presentation follows the format of a typical talk show, full of

startling revelations and confessions. Bob and Dan are both very popular

with their classmates. Jackie is very popular, too. Each boy has a hesitant,

often halting reading style, but this does not bring either one any negative

feedback from the other students. Dan attempts to speak in a pop culture

southern twang and is largely successful with this approach. Bob speaks

in his own voice, but appears to relish portraying a hill billy. Jackie sounds

like the definitive television talk show host. Fluent, unfailingly gracious

and never flustered, she could be a professional broadcaster, just as she

always sounds when she does oral presentations.

J: Oh how nice / and you must be B: Zelina Zingerfelter is my name / I love my pet

rocks and sometimes I put them on a leash and walk them (Laughter interrupts the action. Jackie

looks at Bob, and he stops reading, resuming his talk when the laughter stops.). I've got over a million of them / They sit quietly out on the

driveway and don't move / Daddy runs over them

J: Well that's definitely very too bad / Let's move on

7


J: Hi there guys / Oh you can sit on the chairs there's enough seats for all of you / Why don’t we start with introductions so th a t myself and the studio audience can sort of get to know you all a little bit better / Let's s ta rt with you / are you Zelda,Zelina, Zachary or Zephyr Zingerfelter D: Well ma'am I'm Zeus Zingerfelter and I'm really happy to be here today / 1 love to sta rt fires and watch gasoline tanks burst into flames / that's all for now (very softly, while rubbing his hands) fire / fire / fire ( voice fades away)

The presentation follows the format of a typical talk show, full of

startling revelations and confessions. Bob and Dan are both very popular

with their classmates. Jackie is very popular, too. Each boy has a hesitant,

often halting reading style, b u t this does not bring either one any negative

feedback from the other students. Dan attem pts to speak in a pop culture

southern twang and is largely successful with this approach. Bob speaks

in his own voice, bu t appears to relish portraying a hill billy. Jackie sounds

like the definitive television ta lk show host. Fluent, unfailingly gracious

and never flustered, she could be a professional broadcaster, ju s t as she

always sounds when she does oral presentations.

J: Oh how nice / and you m ust be B: Zelina Zingerfelter is my name / 1 love my pet rocks and sometimes I pu t them on a leash and walk them (Laughter in terrupts the action. Jackie looks a t Bob, and he stops reading, resuming his talk when the laughter stops.). I've got over a million of them / They sit quietly out on the driveway and don't move / Daddy runs over them J: Well that's definitely very too bad / Let’s move on

7


shall we? / What is your name?

D: I'm Zephyr Zingerfelter / I love to rip the legs off

of bugs and tie their wings together / Sometimes I

hang cats up by their tails or staple them to the

fence * Zingerfelters all laugh

By assuming the role of the moderator while the boys alternate reading the

parts of a variety of bizarre characters, Jackie is able to maintain control of

the presentation.

J: I see you all enjoy yourselves and are very active members of the community / How about you sweetheart? / What's your name? B: My parents call me Zelda but I very much wish my name was something like Bobby Jo / As for school, I eat my crayons and smell my glue / I even get to sit out in the hall in my desk all day long J: Well uh how interesting / again often these things are so surprising / uh / None you seemed to share this news with your producer / ... /

Throughout the presentation, Jackie's reaction to what the other

characters say is consistent. She is the image of middle-class propriety and

the boys are the lower-class hicks. Jackie controls the action in more subtle

ways, by indicating to Dan and Bob when it is appropriate to speak. She

monitors and responds to the reaction of the audience, and motions to her

partners to pause when necessary. Jackie exerts a good deal of control in

most of her interactions with other students, and that ability is very evident

during this presentation.

8


shall we? / W hat is your name?D: I'm Zephyr Zingerfelter / I love to rip the legs off of bugs and tie their wings together / Sometimes I hang cats up by their tails or staple them to the fence* Zingerfelters all laugh

By assuming the role of the moderator while the boys alternate reading the

parts of a variety of bizarre characters, Jackie is able to m aintain control of

the presentation.

J: I see you all enjoy yourselves and are very active members of the community / How about you sweetheart? / W hat's your name?B: My parents call me Zelda but I very much wish my name was something like Bobby Jo / As for school, I eat my crayons and smell my glue / I even get to sit out in the hall in my desk all day longJ: Well uh how interesting / again often these things are so surprising / uh / None you seemed to share this news with your producer I ... I

Throughout the presentation, Jackie's reaction to what the other

characters say is consistent. She is the image of middle-class propriety and

the boys are the lower-class hicks. Jackie controls the action in more subtle

ways, by indicating to Dan and Bob when it is appropriate to speak. She

monitors and responds to the reaction of the audience, and motions to her

partners to pause when necessary. Jackie exerts a good deal of control in

most of her interactions with other students, and th a t ability is very evident

during this presentation.

8


J: Oh I'm sorry / And Grandma Zingerfelter?

Would you like to share your story?

D: I spend all my time / what? (Jackie assists with

deciphering the hand-writing) / on an old pink

caddie I found down by the Bayou

J: Bayou (Jackie corrects Dan's pronunciation)

D: Okay whatever / It sure was a real mess

J: Well you wrote it

Not intimidated by Dan's retort, Jackie is unwilling to accept blame for

someone else's sloppiness. Dan is back on task directly.

J: It's so good to see you spend the time on

something so constructive / ... / Mr. Zingerfelter

you said you'd like to speak on behalf your wife / why is that? B: Yeah well you see the woman she gets a little

nervous when we go on the grocery store / she

don't like all the people / ... / laughter from

audience / thanks for having us / and now that

we're on national television the Mrs. and I have

an announcement to make / another little

Zingerfelter is on the way (*laughter from audience) B: We're having the little gaffer Zulu Zingerfelter in December

J: Isn't that nice / We're out of time today / Thank you to all the Zingerfelters for sharing your unique

pastimes

Like a television audience, the class is not parsimonious with its

applause. The group beams, clearly very happy with the response to their

parody. They successfully included many of the normally taboo school

9


J: Oh I'm sorry / And Grandma Zingerfelter?Would you like to share your story?D: I spend all my time / what? (Jackie assists with deciphering the hand-writing) / on an old pink caddie I found down by the Bayou J: Bayou (Jackie corrects Dan's pronunciation)D: Okay whatever / It sure was a real mess J: Well you wrote it

Not intimidated by Dan's retort, Jackie is unwilling to accept blame for

someone else's sloppiness. Dan is back on task directly.

J: It's so good to see you spend the time on something so constructive I ... I Mr. Zingerfelter you said you’d like to speak on behalf your wife / why is that?B: Yeah well you see the woman she gets a little nervous when we go on the grocery store / she don’t like all the people I ... I laughter from audience / thanks for having us / and now th a t we’re on national television the Mrs. and I have an announcement to make / another little Zingerfelter is on the way (♦laughter from audience)B: We're having the little gaffer Zulu Zingerfelter in DecemberJ: Isn't th a t nice / We're out of time today / Thank you to all the Zingerfelters for sharing your unique pastimes

Like a television audience, the class is not parsimonious with its

applause. The group beams, clearly very happy with the response to their

parody. They successfully included many of the normally taboo school

9


topics in their presentation, and their peers appreciate the skill of their

achievement. Ordinarily, I would have expected someone in the class to

have taken the sexist remarks of the Mr. Zingerfelter character to task, but

in this situation, no critical comments are made. The Zingerfelter talk is

an innocuous, familiar example of television banter.

Chad's authority seems clear in group two. He acts as the chief

spokesperson for his group when they present. Anne and Chad appear

eager to get started. Dave looks considerably less comfortable when Chad

begins to talk, rather than read, from the notes. Dave looks around the

room rather tentatively while Anne looks directly at Chad as he begins. It

soon becomes evident that they have chosen to push the boundaries of

classroom discourse and appear anxious to gauge the response. Of

everyone.

C: All right / my group and I have written the Dominatrix Bozina show / which is like a parody of a hip clown show except it's really kinda sick / and the main character is Dominatrix Bozina / and she's like you know / she's got chains and whips and handcuffs and stuff / and there's Bozo who is dominated by Bozina / and there's Exposo the Clown he's like a clown stripper (* laughter from the audience interrupts the action) C: And there's Jasper the Stinging clown / and he just comes with sticks and pokes people with needles and stuff / and then there's The Old Heave Ho and he's like the vomiting clown * laughter C: And there's Sado and Maso the S and M Twins / they are clowns too / So like we start out the introduction with a clown song right / (Chad

10


topics in their presentation, and their peers appreciate the skill of their

achievement. Ordinarily, I would have expected someone in the class to

have taken the sexist remarks of the Mr. Zingerfelter character to task, bu t

in this situation, no critical comments are made. The Zingerfelter talk is

an innocuous, fam iliar example of television banter.

Chad's authority seems clear in group two. He acts as the chief

spokesperson for his group when they present. Anne and Chad appear

eager to get started. Dave looks considerably less comfortable when Chad

begins to talk, ra th er than read, from the notes. Dave looks around the

room rather tentatively while Anne looks directly a t Chad as he begins. It

soon becomes evident tha t they have chosen to push the boundaries of

classroom discourse and appear anxious to gauge the response. Of

everyone.

C: All right / my group and I have w ritten the Dominatrix Bozina show / which is like a parody of a hip clown show except i t’s really kinda sick / and the main character is Dom inatrix Bozina / and she's like you know / she's got chains and whips and handcuffs and stuff / and there's Bozo who is dominated by Bozina / and there's Exposo the Clown he's like a clown stripper (* laughter from the audience in terrup ts the action)C: And there's Jasper the Stinging clown / and he ju st comes with sticks and pokes people with needles and stuff / and then there’s The Old Heave Ho and he's like the vomiting clown * laughterC: And there's Sado and Maso the S and M Twins / they are clowns too / So like we s ta rt out the introduction with a clown song righ t / (Chad

10


hums a tune) / circus music with the sounds of

whips cracking and people letting out screams to

the music

Anne's face turns bright red from stifling her laughter. Dave grins. The

scales of comfort have visibly shifted; whereas Dave was once nervous, now

it is Anne's turn. She is no longer looking at Chad, but at the floor.

C: And then Dominatrix Bozina enters in a

normal clown suit to centre stage / this normal circus background and stuff / and the lights go out and there's a puff of smoke / and then Bozina

appears in a leather clown costume spike heels and chains / the other clowns just have weird clown costumes and stuff / and Bozina like she has kinda a German accent / I can't do a German accent / she's just really weird A: Do it C (finally reading from the script): Hello boys and girls / (breaks from reading the script) and then she laughs really evil (he imitates the laughter). *The class erupts in what they would describe as "major laughter." C: (reading) Today we have an extra special show / the first episode of the Dominatrix Bozina Show / today we have an extra special secret word / she says this to the studio audience / and the word is / she holds up a cue card / and every time this word is said there will be an extra special secret surprise / so what's the extra special word today Bozo? / Bozo is pulled out on stage on a leash and says / Bubbles, Dominatrix Bozina? C: You know what that means kiddies and the audience goes / no / it is time for Jasper the

11


hums a tune) / circus music with the sounds of whips cracking and people letting out screams to the music

Anne's face turns bright red from stifling her laughter. Dave grins. The

scales of comfort have visibly shifted; whereas Dave was once nervous, now

it is Anne's turn. She is no longer looking a t Chad, bu t a t the floor.

C: And then Dominatrix Bozina enters in a normal clown suit to centre stage / this normal circus background and stuff / and the lights go out and there's a puff of smoke / and then Bozina appears in a leather clown costume spike heels and chains / the other clowns ju st have weird clown costumes and stuff / and Bozina like she has kinda a German accent / I can't do a German accent / she's ju st really weird A: Do itC (finally reading from the script): Hello boys and girls / (breaks from reading the script) and then she laughs really evil (he im itates the laughter).*The class erupts in w hat they would describe as "major laughter."C: (reading) Today we have an extra special show / the first episode of the Dominatrix Bozina Show / today we have an extra special secret word / she says this to the studio audience / and the word is / she holds up a cue card / and every time th is word is said there will be an extra special secret surprise / so what's the extra special word today Bozo? / Bozo is pulled out on stage on a leash and says / Bubbles, Dominatrix Bozina?C: You know what th a t means kiddies and the audience goes / no / it is time for Jasper the

11


Stinging Clown

* major laughter

C: Jasper enters with a normal clown suit on

(Chad reads in the Jasper voice) Let's see what is

in my bag of tricks / Look what I've found / a super

happy bull whip / (reverts to his own voice) and

then he starts running through the audience

whipping at people

T: What happens?

A: (reading) They act out destruction in a circus of

horrors C: (reading) After Jasper, Exposo enters and takes

off his clown costume and is wearing nothing

V: No kidding R: And Dominatrix Bozina introduces the Old

Heave Ho after every act / he's eating cotton candy

and of course he has to vomit on the audience

* major laughter

C: (reading) The end of the show is approaching /

Bozina enters from the back of the stage with the S

and M Twins, with Bozo trailing / I hope you all

enjoyed the show / See you all next time / The rest

of the show with the credits is spent with Bozina

and the Twins harassing Bozo for his tendency to

be an irritating clown / the theme music starts

and all that can be heard is the laughing of

children

Chad describes himself as a "bad ass" and frequently delights the

class with colourful stories from what he calls "his youth." Chad is

seventeen. A strong student, Dave has a keen sense of irony and regularly

seduces the class with stories which they insist "seem true," even when he

asserts that he has made everything up. His story about meeting an over-

wrought Neil Young on Scarth street fooled everyone. Generally, Anne's 12


Stinging Clown* major laughterC: Jasper enters with a normal clown suit on (Chad reads in the Jasper voice) Let’s see what is in my bag of tricks / Look w hat I’ve found / a super happy bull whip / (reverts to his own voice) and then he sta rts running through the audience whipping a t people T: What happens?A: (reading) They act out destruction in a circus of horrorsC: (reading) After Jasper, Exposo enters and takes off his clown costume and is wearing nothing V: No kiddingR: And Dominatrix Bozina introduces the Old Heave Ho after every act / he's eating cotton candy and of course he has to vomit on the audience* major laughterC: (reading) The end of the show is approaching /Bozina enters from the back of the stage with the S and M Twins, with Bozo trailing / I hope you all enjoyed the show / See you all next time / The rest of the show with the credits is spent with Bozina and the Twins harassing Bozo for his tendency to be an irritating clown / the them e music starts and all th a t can be heard is the laughing of children

Chad describes himself as a "bad ass" and frequently delights the

class with colourful stories from what he calls "his youth." Chad is

seventeen. A strong student, Dave has a keen sense of irony and regularly

seduces the class with stories which they insist "seem true," even when he

asserts th a t he has made everything up. His story about meeting an over

wrought Neil Young on Scarth street fooled everyone. Generally, Anne's12


stories are based on experience, often concluding with powerful twist

endings common in fiction. It is not surprising, then, that this trio has

explored some uncharted territory in high school composition.

The fifth group to present are the three boys, Aaron, Ryan and Lance.

They had wanted to go first but were too late signing up. All three grin

broadly as they prepare to speak, but have some trouble getting started

anyway. Although all participated equitably in the writing, Lance takes

charge of the presentation, acting much like Jackie did in the first

presentation.

A: Okay man let's go then L: Ok we did a satire of YTVs The Breakfast Zone which is one of our favourite channels and we

watch it everyday even on Friday and Saturday A: I have a question

C: Hold on / we gotta like have some group

discussion

L (proceeding without the group's consent): Ok and its like gonna open with a commercial / /

R: What's the commercial? L: It doesn't matter / like we won't say who we are

A: Ok just go L: Yeah it's gonna open up / it's gonna go / yeah like you know the eyeballs the computer eyeballs that go "wow" or "the Zone" or whatever / yeah (describing the graphics) R: And it goes Zone ( indicates with his hands, the size of the graphic) and a voice says who said that

The whole presentation is dependent upon the audience's recognition of the

television show being parodied, and of the characters from cereal

commercials the boys imitate. Their speech becomes more rapid as the

audience response becomes more boisterous. 13


stories are based on experience, often concluding with powerful tw ist

endings common in fiction. I t is not surprising, then, th a t this trio has

explored some uncharted territory in high school composition.

The fifth group to present are the three boys, Aaron, Ryan and Lance.

They had wanted to go first but were too late signing up. All three grin

broadly as they prepare to speak, but have some trouble getting started

anyway. Although all participated equitably in the writing, Lance takes

charge of the presentation, acting much like Jackie did in the first

presentation.

A: Okay man let's go thenL: Ok we did a satire of YTVs The Breakfast Zone which is one of our favourite channels and we watch it everyday even on Friday and Saturday A: I have a questionC: Hold on / we gotta like have some group discussionL (proceeding without the group's consent): Ok and its like gonna open w ith a commercial / /R: What's the commercial?L: It doesn't m atter / like we won't say who we are A: Ok just goL: Yeah it's gonna open up / it's gonna go / yeah like you know the eyeballs the computer eyeballs th a t go "wow" or "the Zone" or whatever / yeah (describing the graphics)R: And it goes Zone ( indicates with his hands, the size of the graphic) and a voice says who said that

The whole presentation is dependent upon the audience's recognition of the

television show being parodied, and of the characters from cereal

commercials the boys imitate. Their speech becomes more rapid as the

audience response becomes more boisterous.13


L: Yeah R: Yeah Pj Phil he really kicks he's got a goatee

*laughter interrupts the action. A: Okay /R: Okay /L: Yeah Okay (in unison)

R: (in character) Yo this is Pj Fresh Phil jammin'

in the breakfast zone with Pj Ashta and Pj Paul

A: What's up my main man the pro joe moe joe

cake man

Aaron reads beautifully, with a distinct musical rhythm. He barely

glances at the script. The class laughs at the group's language antics,

paying close attention so as not to miss a word. And the words come very

fast.

L: Badder brother Kikki pro joe R: This morning we have some very special guests

with us / we've got five hip hop hip to the jive radical cereal dudes here to talk to us about some cereal cultures L: Here they are in no particular order Tony the Tiger, Captain Crunch, Toucan Sam, the Trix Bunny and Lucky the Leprechaun

*laughter A: We'll start with you Tone / what would you like to say about your bodacious frosted flakes? L (as Tony): There's Grrrrreat (*laughter) / if you eat my cereal you're sure to have a very successful productive high flying awe inspiring and energetic day (*laughter) / eating frosted flakes is the only way / the taste of Tony's frosted flakes will bring out the tiger in you *laughter R (speaking in the pop culture Irish dialect of Lucky the Leprechaun): Just shut the hell up Tony before I turn you into a doughnut

14


L: YeahR: Yeah Pj Phil he really kicks he's got a goatee daughter in terrup ts the action.A: Okay /R: Okay /L: Yeah Okay (in unison)R: (in character) Yo th is is Pj Fresh Phil jam m in’ in the breakfast zone with Pj Ashta and Pj Paul A: What's up my m ain man the pro joe moe joe cake man

Aaron reads beautifully, with a distinct musical rhythm. He barely

glances a t the script. The class laughs a t the group's language antics,

paying close attention so as not to miss a word. And the words come very

fast.

L: Badder brother Kikki pro joe R: This morning we have some very special guests with us / we've got five hip hop hip to the jive radical cereal dudes here to ta lk to us about some cereal culturesL: Here they are in no particular order Tony the Tiger, Captain Crunch, Toucan Sam, the Trix Bunny and Lucky the Leprechaun *laughterA: We’ll s ta rt with you Tone / w hat would you like to say about your bodacious frosted flakes?L (as Tony): There's G rrrrreat (daughter) / if you eat my cereal you're sure to have a very successful productive high flying awe inspiring and energetic day (*laughter) / eating frosted flakes is the only way / the taste of Tony’s frosted flakes will bring out the tiger in you *laughterR (speaking in the pop culture Irish dialect of Lucky the Leprechaun): Ju st shu t the hell up Tony before I tu rn you into a doughnut

14


*laughter

/ I'm Lucky the Leprechaun everybody / with

lucky charms there's a treasure in every bite / and

for a limited time you'll be able to find pro joe moe

joe marshmallow mellow cake in every box / So get

lucky charms or get a bloody life

* laughter / Before I fling things at you with my ukulele

L: Watch that vulgarity you degenerated leper or

Pj Ashta will give you some bloody chiclets to

gargle on with a fist to the melon you potato eating

munchkin

R: Oh bloody hell somebody fetch me my scotch

A (very quickly): Hello I'm Toucan Sam if you eat

fruity fruit loops you can have a wild rainbow

coloured pro joe moe joe

*laughter

/ mellow yellow time with every spoon full / You

know it is a complete breakfast of fruity tooty totally booty rockin scooby dooby dyslexic free kick-

boy groovy

This line gets a huge laugh from the class, possibly because most of the

class are aware that two of the group members have had some difficulty

learning in school. Ryan has talked in class about being dyslexic. I do not

have the sense that the laughter is in any way derisive. Instead, the tone

seems closer to delight in finding another way of flouting authority.

L: Toucan is a dork man / Japan slam is Toucan / eating trix is where it's at man * laughter / those yummy morsels are the best / kids the worst thing is that I can't even have them cause trix are for kids / I've tried everything and the only

15


*laughter/ I'm Lucky the Leprechaun everybody / with lucky charms there's a treasure in every bite / and for a limited time you'll be able to find pro joe moe joe marshmallow mellow cake in every box / So get lucky charms or get a bloody life* laughter/ Before I fling things a t you with my ukulele L: Watch th a t vulgarity you degenerated leper or Pj Ashta will give you some bloody chiclets to gargle on with a fist to the melon you potato eating m unchkinR: Oh bloody hell somebody fetch me my scotch A (very quickly): Hello I'm Toucan Sam if you eat fruity fruit loops you can have a wild rainbow coloured pro joe moe joe *laughter/ mellow yellow time with every spoon full / You know it is a complete breakfast of fruity tooty totally booty rockin scooby dooby dyslexic free kick- boy groovy

This line gets a huge laugh from the class, possibly because most of the

class are aware that two of the group members have had some difficulty

learning in school. Ryan has talked in class about being dyslexic. I do not

have the sense that the laughter is in any way derisive. Instead, the tone

seems closer to delight in finding another way of flouting authority.

L: Toucan is a dork m an / Japan slam is Toucan / eating trix is where it's a t man* laughter/ those yummy morsels are the best / kids the worst thing is th a t I can't even have them cause trix are for kids / I’ve tried everything and the only

15


time I've been able to eat them is during a

Chipmunk's Christmas Special in 1984 /

* laughter / it sucks even worse cause they even had groovy

grape back then but I guess because my hulk

underwear has split out / ... /

R: Hey cool / you're flow angry / you want my

stash but you can't have it / besides I'd rather eat

my cheese strings any day of the week than trix /

what's that noise / that better not be the chilled old

beak / (reading as Toucan Sam) he knows he isn't

wanted around here since he poked out Snit's eye

A: You know this bee knows you can't beat the

taste of toasted nuts and honey with all your

money / cause I'll have all your money / That

toasted 0 is honey nut Cheerios / Bzzzzzz

R: (stung by bee) Ow / my face

The Bee character stings other characters, resulting in more laughter.

Physical comedy has intruded and everyone is delighted. The look on

Lance's face suggests that the stinging is pure improvisation. He stares at

the script while the other two imitate stinging bees.

A: All right that's just fine / I don't need you boys

anyway / I'll just mind my own bee's wax and hit

the road like jack / thanks for nothing L: We've only got a couple of seconds left so do you want to end it off Cap'n? A: Oops L: You go after this Aaron A: Oh / okay / Sure thing eat my cereal and it will make you strong and powerful / Arrr / I'll have to chomp down a couple of bowls of my cereal to defeat the evil soginator who tries to take my

16


time I've been able to eat them is during a Chipmunk's Christmas Special in 1984 /* laughter/ it sucks even worse cause they even had groovy grape back then but I guess because my hulk underwear has split out I ... I R: Hey cool / you're flow angry / you want my stash bu t you can't have it / besides I'd rather eat my cheese strings any day of the week than trix / what's th a t noise / th a t better not be the chilled old beak / (reading as Toucan Sam) he knows he isn’t wanted around here since he poked out Snit's eye A: You know this bee knows you can't beat the taste of toasted nuts and honey with all your money / cause I'll have all your money / That toasted O is honey nu t Cheerios / Bzzzzzz R: (stung by bee) Ow / my face

The Bee character stings other characters, resulting in more laughter.

Physical comedy has intruded and everyone is delighted. The look on

Lance's face suggests tha t the stinging is pure improvisation. He stares a t

the script while the other two im itate stinging bees.

A: All right that’s ju s t fine / 1 don't need you boys anyway / I’ll ju st mind my own bee's wax and hit the road like jack / thanks for nothing L: We've only got a couple of seconds left so do you want to end it off Cap'n?A: OopsL: You go after this AaronA: Oh / okay / Sure thing eat my cereal and it will make you strong and powerful / A rrr / I'll have to chomp down a couple of bowls of my cereal to defeat the evil soginator who tries to take my

16


crunch away / I'll show him they're also a perfect

replacement for Styrofoam packing chips / no one

would know the difference and they're ozone

friendly

* laughter

R: So there you have it kids / the most popular

names in show biz right here / Except the

Alphabits Wizard who is out fighting dyslexia

* major laughter, again at the mention of dyslexia

/ stay tuned for Sailor Moon next / when Sailor

once again takes on the evil megaverse

* major clapping

Even the uninitiated listener is likely to catch the references to drug

culture in this parody, and the subversive layers of the performance are not

wasted on the grade eleven audience. However, much of the laughter also

results from the long strings of words that the presenters were able to spew

forth rapidly and clearly. In this respect, the influence of rap music seems

evident. Some might say the work exhibits poetic qualities. And no one

would suspect these students of lacking exposure to television.

Cassie worked with Jenna, Stacey and Carolyn. Stacey excels in

school; the other three are all very respectable A or B average students. The

group is not quite as animated as the other three in this discussion, but they

look content to share their work with the class. Carolyn speaks for the

group, looking occasionally at the pages of notes the group prepared.

C: Okay we did a parody of soap operas and we didn't write a script or anything / but uh we just basically said that they all live in a really small town called Rainbow Valley / uh they're all related somehow like through marriage or whatever / and twenty-four hours there equals a week it just goes

17


crunch away / I'll show him they’re also a perfect replacement for Styrofoam packing chips / no one would know the difference and they're ozone friendly* laughterR: So there you have it kids / the most popular names in show biz right here / Except the Alphabits Wizard who is out fighting dyslexia* major laughter, again a t the mention of dyslexia / stay tuned for Sailor Moon next / when Sailor once again takes on the evil megaverse* major clapping

Even the uninitiated listener is likely to catch the references to drug

culture in this parody, and the subversive layers of the performance are not

wasted on the grade eleven audience. However, much of the laughter also

results from the long strings of words th a t the presenters were able to spew

forth rapidly and clearly. In this respect, the influence of rap music seems

evident. Some might say the work exhibits poetic qualities. And no one

would suspect these students of lacking exposure to television.

Cassie worked with Jenna, Stacey and Carolyn. Stacey excels in

school; the other three are all very respectable A or B average students. The

group is not quite as animated as the other three in this discussion, bu t they

look content to share their work with th e class. Carolyn speaks for the

group, looking occasionally a t the pages of notes the group prepared.

C: Okay we did a parody of soap operas and we didn't write a script or anything / but uh we ju s t basically said th a t they all live in a really small town called Rainbow Valley / uh they’re all related somehow like through m arriage or whatever / and twenty-four hours there equals a week it ju s t goes

17


on for ever

* laughter

/ uh people don't like marry more than once / of

course all the women are rich but they never work

/ ... /

The variety of irony in this group's presentation, from character names to

comments on the economy of Rainbow Valley, demonstrates the extent of

their understanding of parody. The class, however, does not respond as

keenly to this group's more under-stated proposal presentation, which it

bears repeating, was the original assignment. Students were never asked

to write a script.

C: Let's see we have the Pertinents / they are the

most powerful and wealthy family in the valley

and they don't accept outside relations / they are

always inter-marrying with the Assaultans / Ok

first we have Charles Pertinent / he is the patriarch of the valley / about sixty and he is

extremely rich / he is right now having an affair

with the maid / she is Tanya and she is about

twenty-four / his wife's half-sister's cousin is Tanya / they also have ten kids but they don't all

live in the valley / and uh what else / / his wife's

name is Phyllis and she's the matriarch and she

is about fifty-four / and she is also rich / she has

four lovers who all want her money (* laughter)

These students spent a long time discussing how inane the lives of women

are in soap operas on the previous day, but they fall short of mentioning this

specifically in their proposal. There is less analysis and more pure

description in their presentation than in their preparatory discussion.

18


on for ever * laughter/ uh people don’t like m arry more than once / of course all the women are rich bu t they never work / ... /

The variety of irony in th is group's presentation, from character nam es to

comments on the economy of Rainbow Valley, dem onstrates the extent of

their understanding of parody. The class, however, does not respond as

keenly to th is group's more under-stated proposed presentation, which it

bears repeating, was the original assignm ent. Students were never asked

to write a script.

C: Let's see we have the Pertinents / they are the most powerful and wealthy family in the valley and they don’t accept outside relations / they are always inter-m arrying w ith the Assaultans / Ok first we have Charles P ertinen t / he is the patriarch of the valley / about sixty and he is extremely rich / he is righ t now having an affair with the maid / she is Tanya and she is about twenty-four / his wife’s half-sister’s cousin is Tanya / they also have ten kids bu t they don't all live in the valley / and uh w hat else / / his wife's name is Phyllis and she's the m atriarch and she is about fifty-four / and she is also rich / she has four lovers who all want her money (* laughter)

These students spent a long time discussing how inane the lives of women

are in soap operas on the previous day, bu t they fall short of mentioning this

specifically in their proposal. There is less analysis and more pure

description in their presentation than in the ir preparatory discussion.

18


Carolyn reads on and on from their notes, discussing each character in

tedious detail. They are losing their audience, but the teacher is still

listening attentively. Whereas the other groups seemed more attentive to

their student audience, this group is content with reading to the teacher.

The teacher stays alert because she wants to appear supportive.

As the presentation continues, the description sounds more like a

soap opera than a parody, as they drift into a complex description of social

relationships of the characters and the political economy of their fictional

town. By the end, the student audience has drifted away, some writing in

journals, some staring at the ceiling and the others looking blankly at the

blackboard behind the presenters. In traditional terms, this group did the

most "on task work" of all eight groups in class. They wrote more,

appeared to stay focussed longer (although much of the talk concerned soap

opera foibles) and ultimately, they got the least done. Creating, then

untangling, the web of deceit in their fictional town required a lot of time.

The reaction of the class to their proposal at the end of the presentation was

reasonably polite, but not overwhelming. None of the elements which

seemed to delight the class in other presentations, namely complicated

rhythmic language, exaggerated alliteration, or inappropriate school

content, were present in this group's work. The group does not appear

perturbed by this reaction. I do not think they craved notoriety the way

Anne's group and Aaron's group did, nor did they seek to entertain in the

manner of Jackie's group. If anything, they appreciated the opportunity to

discuss a major part of their television viewing habits in a teacher

sanctioned assignment.

The class appeared to genuinely enjoy working on this assignment.

Individually, the groups were absorbed in the work, and collectively, the

class members listened carefully to the presentations and responded 19


Carolyn reads on and on from their notes, discussing each character in

tedious detail. They are losing their audience, bu t the teacher is still

listening attentively. Whereas the other groups seemed more attentive to

their student audience, this group is content with reading to the teacher.

The teacher stays a lert because she wants to appear supportive.

As the presentation continues, the description sounds more like a

soap opera than a parody, as they drift into a complex description of social

relationships of the characters and the political economy of their fictional

town. By the end, the student audience has drifted away, some writing in

journals, some staring a t the ceiling and the others looking blankly a t the

blackboard behind the presenters. In traditional terms, this group did the

most "on task work" of all eight groups in class. They wrote more,

appeared to stay focussed longer (although much of the talk concerned soap

opera foibles) and ultimately, they got the least done. Creating, then

untangling, the web of deceit in their fictional town required a lot of time.

The reaction of the class to their proposal at the end of the presentation was

reasonably polite, bu t not overwhelming. None of the elements which

seemed to delight the class in other presentations, namely complicated

rhythmic language, exaggerated alliteration, or inappropriate school

content, were present in this group's work. The group does not appear

perturbed by this reaction. I do not think they craved notoriety the way

Anne's group and Aaron's group did, nor did they seek to entertain in the

manner of Jackie's group. If anything, they appreciated the opportunity to

discuss a major p a rt of their television viewing habits in a teacher

sanctioned assignm ent.

The class appeared to genuinely enjoy working on this assignment.

Individually, the groups were absorbed in the work, and collectively, the

class members listened carefully to the presentations and responded19


appropriately. All the stated objectives of the assignment were met by all

eight groups. Each group lampooned a recognized genre (not all of them

from television); group members participated equally in the writing (but

extroverts dominated the presentations); drafts were completed and filed in

folders; and everyone had fun. The boundaries of what is acceptable within

a classroom were challenged by the groups reported in this work, and by

some of the others, too. Each group drew on their knowledge of cultural

texts outside the formal curriculum to complete their assignments. This

work was completed on a Thursday and Friday, during the time of the year

when students shift from winter clothes to shorts and sandals, that time

when the rhythm of the school days alters perceptibly, and the changes the

year has brought become noticeable. As the students left the classroom, I

felt I had been to a social gathering, maybe even a party, except that instead

of food crumbs and assorted other debris, I had pages of scribbled notes and

a tiny black tape recorder on my desk.

IL Who I am, what I began looking for, and the people who decided to come

along

In interpretive research, one aims to understand some aspect of human experience and, given its complexity, indeed, its abstractness, one needs to situate that experience within people's actions and reactions to the materiality, the local specificity, of their everyday worlds (Dyson, 1995, p.4).

Interpretive research on teaching, then is not only an alternative method, but an alternative view of how society works, of how schools, classrooms, teachers, and students work in society (Erickson, 1985, p. 158).

To begin writing about this research anywhere other than in the

middle of a typical day in school would be to deny the overwhelming power

of practice in my construction of understanding teaching. The classroom is 20


appropriately. All the stated objectives of the assignment were m et by all

eight groups. Each group lampooned a recognized genre (not all of them

from television); group members participated equally in the w riting (hut

extroverts dominated the presentations); drafts were completed and filed in

folders; and everyone had fun. The boundaries of what is acceptable within

a classroom were challenged by the groups reported in this work, and by

some of the others, too. Each group drew on their knowledge of cultural

texts outside the formal curriculum to complete their assignments. This

work was completed on a Thursday and Friday, during the time of the year

when students shift from winter clothes to shorts and sandals, th a t time

when the rhythm of the school days alters perceptibly, and the changes the

year has brought become noticeable. As the students left the classroom, I

felt I had been to a social gathering, maybe even a party, except th a t instead

of food crumbs and assorted other debris, I had pages of scribbled notes and

a tiny black tape recorder on my desk.

IL Who I am , what I began looking for, and the people who decided to come

along

In interpretive research, one aims to understand some aspect of human experience and, given its complexity, indeed, its abstractness, one needs to situate that experience within people's actions and reactions to the materiality, the local specificity, of their everyday worlds (Dyson, 1995, p.4).

Interpretive research on teaching, then is not only an alternative method, but an alternative view of how society works, of how schools, classrooms, teachers, and students work in society (Erickson, 1985, p. 158).

To begin writing about this research anywhere other th an in the

middle of a typical day in school would be to deny the overwhelming power

of practice in my construction of understanding teaching. The classroom is20


the community where I dwell, and where the meaning I want to

understand is created. "The idea of classroom as community is not new. It

has been discussed frequently in relation to the writing class, where

students read and respond to each other's work and collaborate on writing

tasks" (Monseau, 1992, p.86). When students write together, develop and

talk about ideas together, they create meaning and community. "Since

reading and writing are inherently social processes, one way to think about

literacy is in terms of community building. As people use language they

signal their membership and participation in a community" (Bloome, 1986,

p.71). My participation in the classroom community raises many personal

questions about teaching and learning. Understanding what is going on

from my "shifting perspective" is the motivation behind my writing about

teaching writing; representing my students' view of writing is a key

characteristic of my research.

I teach English in grades nine to twelve, in a forty-year old high

school immediately situated in a neighbourhood of the same age, but

adjacent to an older, well-established, affluent neighbourhood to the east,

and another distinct neighbourhood dominated by a large Roman Catholic

Cathedral to the north. Our school attracts students from all of these

diverse communities. The school also includes a significant portion of

students who are bussed from rural areas and from neighbourhoods in the

north-west corner of the city. The result is an interesting mix, but on the

whole, it is a middle-class population. The school population fluctuates

between seven to eight hundred students and has a teaching staff of forty-

two. Because of the small population, teachers and students get to know

each other well, and it is not uncommon to teach some of the same students

two or three semesters in a row.

During the semester I collected data, my classroom held thirty-five 21


the com m u n ity where I dwell, and where the m eaning I want to

understand is created. "The idea of classroom as community is not new. It

has been discussed frequently in relation to the writing class, where

students read and respond to each other's work and collaborate on writing

tasks" (Monseau, 1992, p.86). When students w rite together, develop and

talk about ideas together, they create meaning and community. "Since

reading and writing are inherently social processes, one way to th ink about

literacy is in terms of community building. As people use language they

signal their membership and participation in a community" (Bloome, 1986,

p.71). My participation in the classroom community raises many personal

questions about teaching and learning. U nderstanding what is going on

from my "shifting perspective" is the motivation behind my writing about

teaching writing; representing my students' view of writing is a key

characteristic of my research.

I teach English in grades nine to twelve, in a forty-year old high

school immediately situated in a neighbourhood of the same age, but

adjacent to an older, well-established, affluent neighbourhood to the east,

and another distinct neighbourhood dominated by a large Roman Catholic

Cathedral to the north. Our school attracts students from all of these

diverse communities. The school also includes a significant portion of

students who are bussed from rural areas and from neighbourhoods in the

north-west comer of the city. The result is an interesting mix, but on the

whole, it is a middle-class population. The school population fluctuates

between seven to eight hundred students and has a teaching staff of forty-

two. Because of the small population, teachers and students get to know

each other well, and it is not uncommon to teach some of the same students

two or three semesters in a row.

During the semester I collected data, my classroom held thirty-five21


desks quite comfortably and there was still room for two tables, nine chairs,

two filing cabinets, bookshelves and a teacher's desk. The configuration of

this furniture varied according to the activities of the students. Three large

east windows flood the room with light in the mornings causing students to

request that the blinds be shut. They often ask to work in the school

lunchroom too, which we have access to by virtue of a door behind my desk.

Across the hall from the classroom is the school office, housing the

principal, vice-principal, two secretaries and the photo-copier. Our school

is old enough to have a mythology, and the story is that the teacher the

administration wants to keep tabs on is assigned to my classroom. I have

no interest in pursuing the truth of this story.

A. Who I am : the teacher-researcher

We must therefore bear in mind that one of the most important factors relating to what children get out of a curriculum may be not what is in it, not what use is made of it, not how it is taught in terms of techniques of instruction, not how the instruction is organized, but who is teaching it (Barrow, 1984, p. 27).

The selection of each student participant and the analysis of the data

reflects what I saw and later understood to be significant. My goal is to

make students' voices heard, but in the end, my creation of this text will

shape to a large extent how they will be perceived by readers. A portrait of

myself as the teacher, however subjective, may clarify some of the biases

and assumptions I bring to this research. To situate myself, I will describe

my primary goals as a teacher, relate these goals to curriculum and then

discuss the research question as it has evolved.

I began graduate classes after three years of teaching high school

English, firm in the belief that in so doing, I would become a better teacher.

22


desks quite comfortably and there was still room for two tables, nine chairs,

two filing cabinets, bookshelves and a teacher's desk. The configuration of

this furniture varied according to the activities of the students. Three large

east windows flood the room with light in the mornings causing students to

request that the blinds be shut. They often ask to work in the school

lunchroom too, which we have access to by virtue of a door behind my desk.

Across the hall from the classroom is the school office, housing the

principal, vice-principal, two secretaries and the photo-copier. O ur school

is old enough to have a mythology, and the story is th a t the teacher the

adm inistration wants to keep tabs on is assigned to my classroom. I have

no in terest in pursuing the tru th of th is story.

A. Who I am : the teacher-researcher

We m ust therefore bear in mind that one of the most im portant factors relating to what children get out of a curriculum may be not w hat is in it, not what use is made of it, not how it is taugh t in terms of techniques of instruction, not how the instruction is organized, but who is teaching it (Barrow, 1984, p. 27).

The selection of each student participant and the analysis of the data

reflects what I saw and la ter understood to be significant. My goal is to

make students' voices heard, bu t in the end, my creation of th is text will

shape to a large extent how they will be perceived by readers. A portrait of

myself as the teacher, however subjective, may clarify some of the biases

and assumptions I bring to th is research. To situate myself, I will describe

my prim ary goals as a teacher, relate these goals to curriculum and then

discuss the research question as it has evolved.

I began graduate classes after three years of teaching high school

English, firm in the belief th a t in so doing, I would become a better teacher.

22


Initially, I felt like a thirsty soul at the shore of a great body of water,

without any clear assurances that the water would be safe to drink. My

expectation of becoming a "better teacher" really meant that I expected to

become a more skilled teacher, revealing a tacit belief in a technical model

of teacher education (Pagano, 1991). "However, teaching is primarily

neither a science nor an art, neither a technology nor an aesthetic.

Therefore, teachers should not let their relation to students be governed by a

technological-instrumental or an artistic-aesthetic orientation" (van

Manen, 1994, p.151). During my first years of teaching writing, I was a

"crafts person" of the cottage industry variety, building my teaching on

instinct, memory, the internalized aspects of formal training and whatever

relevant professional literature I made time to read. Because I started life

as a devoted reader, this picture is not quite so bleak or unstable as it

sounds: I enjoyed searching for new ideas, methods and approaches. But

like many teachers, I operated largely in isolation. Alone, except for the

company of one-hundred-twenty teenagers daily milling in and out of my

life.

My teaching developed like all forms of literacy do, not in a linear,

sequential march toward tacit knowledge, but in a messy, organic meander

toward knowing. North ( 1987, in Bleich) describes teachers' knowledge as

lore, or "the accumulated body of traditions, practices, and beliefs in terms

of which practitioners understand how writing is done, learned, and

taught" (p. 22). Bleich (1993) acknowledges that theorists do not take this

kind of knowledge seriously. I did not take it very seriously either. In some

sense, I sought to reconcile what I was learning about teaching in graduate

school with the experience I was gaining in the classroom.

Very soon, I realized that the purpose of the graduate classes was to

develop an understanding of the processes of education, possibly with the 23


Initially, I felt like a th irsty soul a t the shore of a great body of water,

without any clear assurances th a t the water would be safe to drink. My

expectation of becoming a "better teacher" really m eant th a t I expected to

become a more skilled teacher, revealing a tacit belief in a technical model

of teacher education (Pagano, 1991). "However, teaching is primarily

neither a science nor an art, neither a technology nor an aesthetic.

Therefore, teachers should not let their relation to students be governed by a

technological-instrumental or an artistic-aesthetic orientation" (van

Manen, 1994, p. 151). During my first years of teaching writing, I was a

"crafts person" of the cottage industry variety, building my teaching on

instinct, memory, the internalized aspects of formal training and whatever

relevant professional literature I made time to read. Because I started life

as a devoted reader, this picture is not quite so bleak or unstable as it

sounds: I enjoyed searching for new ideas, methods and approaches. But

like many teachers, I operated largely in isolation. Alone, except for the

company of one-hundred-twenty teenagers daily milling in and out of my

life.

My teaching developed like all forms of literacy do, not in a linear,

sequential m arch toward tacit knowledge, but in a messy, organic meander

toward knowing. North ( 1987, in Bleich) describes teachers' knowledge as

lore, or "the accumulated body of traditions, practices, and beliefs in terms

of which practitioners understand how writing is done, learned, and

taught" (p. 22). Bleich (1993) acknowledges tha t theorists do not take this

kind of knowledge seriously. I did not take it very seriously either. In some

sense, I sought to reconcile w hat I was learning about teaching in graduate

school with the experience I was gaining in the classroom.

Very soon, I realized th a t the purpose of the graduate classes was to

develop an understanding of the processes of education, possibly with the23


view to transform practice. I recall my embarrassed reply to the question,

"What did you learn?" asked at the end of an early course. I said that I

learned I was a teacher, not a researcher. An inauspicious, albeit, honest

response. Since then, I have developed more confidence in myself, and in

what I understand happens in the classroom. As a researcher, I am my

own subject, striving to put ideas into practice, discovering what works for

my students and me at particular points in time through reflection and

study. Dyson (1995) writes that "constructing or writing a case is a dialogic

process, one that involves defining and redefining one's understandings"

(p.2). As a teacher-researcher I recognize that my own "understandings"

coloured the way I saw the students I began studying, but my

understandings changed as previously held concepts were challenged, and

as the students and I evolved. Who I thought we all were in the beginning

is quite different from who I understand us to be now.

Although at first I discounted the value of my role "as only a teacher"

in the creation of the understanding, I now see it as an asset. I am

engaged in giving a voice to the kind of "research" I do as an ongoing part

of my practice as an English teacher. Over time, my understanding of

what I do for a living has grown, through the mentorship of graduate

school professors, the guidance of teaching colleagues and the generosity of

my students.

Particularly with literacy whose learning is necessarily "located" in social contexts, the ethnographic researcher has to enlist the subjects of study as partners, as posers of questions, as people who can see and change their own experiences through interaction with "outside" but politically interested teacher-researchers (Bleich, 1993, p. 182).

At the risk of sounding ingenuous, I credit students as being my most

important partners in research. My relationships with them I think have

24


view to transform practice. I recall my embarrassed reply to the question,

"What did you learn?" asked a t the end of an early course. I said th a t I

learned I was a teacher, not a researcher. An inauspicious, albeit, honest

response. Since then, I have developed more confidence in myself, and in

what I understand happens in the classroom. As a researcher, I am my

own subject, striving to p u t ideas into practice, discovering what works for

my students and me a t particular points in time through reflection and

study. Dyson (1995) writes th a t "constructing or writing a case is a dialogic

process, one th a t involves defining and redefining one’s understandings"

(p.2). As a teacher-researcher I recognize tha t my own "understandings”

coloured the way I saw the students I began studying, but my

understandings changed as previously held concepts were challenged, and

as the students and I evolved. Who I thought we all were in the beginning

is quite different from who I understand us to be now.

Although a t first I discounted the value of my role "as only a teacher"

in the creation of the understanding, I now see it as an asset. I am

engaged in giving a voice to the kind of "research" I do as an ongoing part

of my practice as an English teacher. Over time, my understanding of

what I do for a living has grown, through the mentorship of graduate

school professors, the guidance of teaching colleagues and the generosity of

my students.

Particularly w ith literacy whose learning is necessarily "located" in social contexts, the ethnographic researcher has to enlist the subjects of study as partners, as posers of questions, as people who can see and change their own experiences through interaction with "outside" but politically interested teacher-researchers (Bleich, 1993, p. 182).

At the risk of sounding ingenuous, I credit students as being my most

important partners in research. My relationships w ith them I th ink have

24


been mutually beneficial, and without those ties, much of what I had the

opportunity to learn in graduate school would not have connected with me

either intellectually or emotionally.

For a class, I was required to develop a profile of myself as a teacher.

The profile has changed somewhat since its inception, but I think the

following version reveals how I see curriculum in the English language

arts classroom and my role there. The basic principles which shape my

teaching are: read widely and well; write like it matters; recognize

patterns and make connections; and finally, respond to the multiplicity of

human experience. Briefly, I will explain what I mean by these

statements, and will identify some of the theoretical origins of these

principles.

Reading widely does not necessarily include everything in print, or

everything available on the internet. It does include a variety of cultural

texts such as books, magazines, television, movies, art films, objects of art,

personal narratives, music, and so on, with an emphasis on print.

Reading changed my life, allowed me to invent myself, and I believe it still

offers that possibility to the thinking reader. Reading well suggests more

than decoding, and "incorporates the central insights of recent reader-

centred and culturally- focussed criticism to help students become aware of

their own reading strategies and the broader cultural forces that influence

them" (McCormick, 1986, p.11). Understanding literature means

understanding both how it connects to you, and then, how it connects to the

culture. Because students often choose what they want to read in my

classes, my standards do not always prevail. Their culture is often at odds

with my personal culture. Quite frequently, students select texts which are

new or unappealing to me, but when a student is excited about a text and

able to explain why the choice is suitable, I accommodate the selection. 25


been m utually beneficial, and without those ties, much of w hat I had the

opportunity to learn in graduate school would not have connected with me

either intellectually or emotionally.

For a class, I was required to develop a profile of myself as a teacher.

The profile has changed somewhat since its inception, bu t I think the

following version reveals how I see curriculum in the English language

arts classroom and my role there. The basic principles which shape my

teaching are: read widely and well; write like it m atters; recognize

patterns and make connections; and finally, respond to the multiplicity of

hum an experience. Briefly, I will explain what I mean by these

statem ents, and will identify some of the theoretical origins of these

principles.

Reading widely does not necessarily include everything in print, or

everything available on the internet. It does include a variety of cultural

texts such as books, magazines, television, movies, a rt films, objects of art,

personal narratives, music, and so on, with an emphasis on print.

Reading changed my life, allowed me to invent myself, and I believe it still

offers th a t possibility to the thinking reader. Reading well suggests more

than decoding, and "incorporates the central insights of recent reader-

centred and culturally- focussed criticism to help students become aware of

their own reading strategies and the broader cultural forces th a t influence

them" (McCormick, 1986, p. 11). Understanding literature means

understanding both how it connects to you, and then, how it connects to the

culture. Because students often choose what they w ant to read in my

classes, my standards do not always prevail. Their culture is often a t odds

with my personal culture. Quite frequently, students select texts which are

new or unappealing to me, but when a student is excited about a text and

able to explain why the choice is suitable, I accommodate the selection.25


Certainly, I am unable to choose the text which is most likely to connect to

an individual student every time. This process leads to forays beyond the

world of the established curriculum. I can live with this.

"Writing like it matters" is critical to all aspects of literacy in an

English classroom and does not apply only to expectations placed on the

student writer. If the teacher writes too, many of the barriers existing

between teacher and student dissolve naturally. When the teacher controls

all of the writing variables, the level of personal commitment required from

the student is not great. Students are more likely to write with conviction if

they are allowed choices and are encouraged to develop an authentic voice.

In the literature, this is referred to as writing for a real purpose, or within

a real context. This is a principle of teaching writing using the workshop

approach, and it also is integral to the "language-as-social-construct"

perspective I think is practised in my classroom. Gere et al. (1992) defines

this perspective as a

radically different view of literacy. Within this framework, literacy is a process of social engagement, where texts are seen as part of a dialogue among people with common, competing, or often opposing interests. Students must learn to negotiate and critique these positions to come to their own informed stands ... this view of language learning has been developed in the work of psychologist Lev Vygotsky. According to Vygotsky, language learning occurs as children interact with the social world ... As the scope of the child's universe increases, language becomes an important psychological tool that helps the child solve problems and understand concepts. Thus language learning and cognitive development are seen as integrally linked and socially grounded (p.188).

This view of language learning and literacy encompasses the last principle

of practice.

26


Certainly, I am unable to choose the text which is most likely to connect to

an individual student every time. This process leads to forays beyond the

world of the established curriculum. I can live with this.

"Writing like it m atters" is critical to all aspects of literacy in an

English classroom and does not apply only to expectations placed on the

student writer. If the teacher writes too, many of the barriers existing

between teacher and student dissolve naturally. When the teacher controls

all of the w riting variables, the level of personal commitment required from

the student is not great. Students are more likely to write with conviction if

they are allowed choices and are encouraged to develop an authentic voice.

In the literature, this is referred to as w riting for a real purpose, or within

a real context. This is a principle of teaching writing using the workshop

approach, and it also is integral to the "language-as-social-construct"

perspective I th ink is practised in my classroom. Gere et al. (1992) defines

this perspective as a

radically different view of literacy. Within this framework, literacy is a process of social engagement, where texts are seen as part of a dialogue among people with common, competing, or often opposing interests. S tudents m ust learn to negotiate and critique these positions to come to their own informed stands ... th is view of language learning has been developed in the work of psychologist Lev Vygotsky. According to Vygotsky, language learning occurs as children in teract with the social world ... As the scope of the child's universe increases, language becomes an im portant psychological tool that helps the child solve problems and understand concepts. Thus language learning and cognitive development are seen as integrally linked and socially grounded (p. 188).

This view of language learning and literacy encompasses the last principle

of practice.

26


"Responding to the multiplicity of human experience" addresses the

issues of tolerance and understanding which are essential in any learning

environment. Developing an understanding of yourself and recognizing

and respecting the situations of others (Noddings, 1984; Grumet, 1988;

Clark & Doheny-Farina, 1990), are both critical to successful English

teaching within this model. When I think in terms of the most that is

possible, I defer to Noddings (1984), who writes,

My concern is for the ethical ideal, for my own ethical ideal, and for whatever part of it others in my community may share. Ideally, another human being should be able to request, with expectation of positive response, my help and comfort. If I am not blinded by fear, or rage, or hatred, I should reach out as one-caring to the proximate stranger who entreats my help (p.100).

For me, the most important element in real learning is the relationship

established between the teacher and the student. "Among the few

relationships granted to us during our lives such as friendship, love, and

fellowship in the workplace, perhaps the relationship to a real teacher its

the most basic one, one which fulfils and shapes our being most strongly"

(Nohl, in van Manen, 1994, p.143). Listening, understanding and caring

are part of responding to the differences in and the complexities of peoples'

lives. In practical terms, it means that many voices must be heard, must

be read, to create the climate and scope I seek to create in my classroom. At

the same time, I recognize that "it is virtually impossible for the teacher

(especially at the high school level) to maintain pedagogical relations with

every one of the students he or she teaches" (van Manen, 1994, p.148). At

least in part, in this thesis I wish to bring into focus the links between the

students in this study, and me their teacher, using their writing as a the

means of access.

27


"Responding to the multiplicity of hum an experience" addresses the

issues of tolerance and understanding which are essential in any learning

environment. Developing an understanding of yourself and recognizing

and respecting the situations of others (Noddings, 1984; Grumet, 1988;

Clark & Doheny-Farina, 1990), are both critical to successful English

teaching within this model. When I think in terms of the most th a t is

possible, I defer to Noddings (1984), who writes,

My concern is for the ethical ideal, for my own ethical ideal, and for whatever part of it others in my community m ay share. Ideally, another hum an being should be able to request, with expectation of positive response, my help and comfort. If I am not blinded by fear, or rage, or hatred, I should reach out as one-caring to the proximate stranger who entreats my help (p. 100).

For me, the most im portant element in real learning is the relationship

established between the teacher and the student. "Among the few

relationships granted to us during our lives such as friendship, love, and

fellowship in the workplace, perhaps the relationship to a real teacher its

the most basic one, one which fulfils and shapes our being most strongly"

(Nohl, in van Manen, 1994, p. 143). Listening, understanding and caring

are part of responding to the differences in and the complexities of peoples'

lives. In practical terms, i t means that many voices m ust be heard, must

be read, to create the climate and scope I seek to create in my classroom. At

the same time, I recognize th a t "it is virtually impossible for the teacher

(especially a t the high school level) to m aintain pedagogical relations with

every one of the students he or she teaches" (van Manen, 1994, p. 148). At

least in part, in this thesis I wish to bring into focus the links between the

students in this study, and me their teacher, using their writing as a the

means of access.

27


B. The research question: where it began, where it went

I began this research with a simple question: what is it like to be a

writer in high school? With the invaluable guidance of my thesis advisor,

the case study emerged as the right approach for the question I wanted to

tackle. Early in my graduate studies I read Anne Haas Dyson (1988, 1989,

1990), and those tattered articles of hers are decorated with questions like,

"how is this different from adolescents?" or comments like, "parallels

adolescent writers." Only now do I realize that those primitive thoughts

were the seeds of the field work I have done in my own classroom. Dyson

(1995) responds to the question of the value of case studies by articulating

the power of the "particular classrooms and schools" in revealing

understanding:

Through interpretive case studies, researchers offer educators in these places no specific laws of causation, no precise predictions of the outcomes of one teaching strategy or another. But they do offer, through the richness of singular experiences, opportunities to consider the complexities of teaching and learning by embedding them within the details of everyday life in school. It is precisely those details that account for the tremendous potential of case studies both to further and stifle professional dialogue (p.26).

My intent is to stimulate, rather than stifle further discussion. The case

studies included in this work are one person's perceptions of a variety of

individual and group classroom writing experiences.

But experience is more than a simple given of life. It is not only an event; it is also an achievement ... It is one of our culture's most significant tasks, one for which our schools have a special responsibility, to provide the tools and to develop the skills through which the child can create his

28


B. The research question: where it began, where it went

I began this research with a simple question: what is it like to be a

w riter in high school? With the invaluable guidance of my thesis advisor,

the case study emerged as the right approach for the question I wanted to

tackle. Early in my graduate studies I read Anne Haas Dyson (1988, 1989,

1990), and those tattered articles of hers are decorated with questions like,

"how is this different from adolescents?" or comments like, "parallels

adolescent writers." Only now do I realize th a t those primitive thoughts

were the seeds of the field work I have done in my own classroom. Dyson

(1995) responds to the question of the value of case studies by articulating

the power of the "particular classrooms and schools" in revealing

understanding:

Through interpretive case studies, researchers offer educators in these places no specific laws of causation, no precise predictions of the outcomes of one teaching strategy or another. But they do offer, through the richness of singular experiences, opportunities to consider the complexities of teaching and learning by embedding them within the details of everyday life in school. It is precisely those details that account for the tremendous potential of case studies both to further and stifle professional dialogue (p.26).

My in tent is to stimulate, ra ther than stifle further discussion. The case

studies included in this work are one person's perceptions of a variety of

individual and group classroom writing experiences.

But experience is more than a simple given of life.It is not only an event; it is also an achievem ent...It is one of our culture's most significant tasks, one for which our schools have a special responsibility, to provide the tools and to develop the skills through which the child can create his

28


or her own experience (Eisner, 1988, p.15).

By writing about my students' struggles to understand and use writing in

their own ways, and by using their words to articulate their individual

experiences of literacy, together we create that "experience."

Initially, eight students in grade eleven were approached to

participate in the study. I deliberately chose students who did not represent

extremes of either end of the academic continuum, but I do not claim that

they are representative of particular groups or "types" in any traditional

sense. In the beginning, I believed that each student represented a distinct

social group within the school, and as the study progressed their

affiliations became less important than I first thought they would be. Three

of the students expressed an interest in careers as journalists at one point

in the semester, but only two of them stuck to that goal. All of the students

were in my classes in earlier grades. Originally, what the students

appeared to have in common was that they attended the same high school,

had the same English teacher and had expressed a desire at some time,

and for a variety of reasons, to become better writers.

At first, my focus was the writing students did for the class. The

students who participated in this research were not asked to do anything

extra, or different, from what other students in the class did to earn course

credit. They participated in the same activities, read the same literature,

and completed the same writing assignments and creative projects that

their classmates were instructed to do. The only difference was that I

interviewed each student once at the end of the semester and our

conversations were taped. To protect the anonymity of the participants,

other students in the class were not told that some of their classmates were

involved in my research.

29


or her own experience (Eisner, 1988, p. 15).

By writing about my students' struggles to understand and use writing in

their own ways, and by using their words to articulate their individual

experiences of literacy, together we create th a t "experience."

Initially, eight students in grade eleven were approached to

participate in the study. I deliberately chose students who did not represent

extremes of either end of the academic continuum, but I do not claim th a t

they are representative of particular groups or "types" in any traditional

sense. In the beginning, I believed that each student represented a distinct

social group within the school, and as the study progressed their

affiliations became less important than I first thought they would be. Three

of the students expressed an interest in careers as journalists a t one point

in the semester, but only two of them stuck to th a t goal. All of the students

were in my classes in earlier grades. Originally, w hat the students

appeared to have in common was th a t they attended the same high school,

had the same English teacher and had expressed a desire a t some time,

and for a variety of reasons, to become better writers.

At first, my focus was the writing students did for the class. The

students who participated in this research were not asked to do anything

extra, or different, from what other students in the class did to earn course

credit. They participated in the same activities, read the same literature,

and completed the same writing assignments and creative projects th a t

their classmates were instructed to do. The only difference was th a t I

interviewed each student once a t the end of the semester and our

conversations were taped. To protect the anonymity of the participants,

other students in the class were not told th a t some of their classmates were

involved in my research.

29


I have three sources of data for these case studies. The first is the

written course work done by each student, including their journals, formal

writing assignments, in-class essays and creative projects. In addition to

doing an thematic analysis of their written work, I refer to my anecdotal

notes of class activities compiled during the fieldwork (Glesne & Peshkin,

1992). I have always made notes describing student presentations to use for

evaluation, so this practice was familiar to my students. These notes are

kept in a binder on a table beside my desk and students are free to look at

them if they wish. They are descriptive, and sometimes include a mark

which later I transfer to my formal records. I made notes after class about

exchanges I had with individuals in the study, but for obvious reasons,

these records were kept private and separate from my public records. The

combination of group and individual interactions informed the creation of

the case studies. The use of anecdotal evidence will provide the richness of

detail alluded to by Dyson, but also "anecdotal narratives are important for

pedagogy in that they function as experiential case material on which

pedagogic reflection is possible (van Manen, 1989, p.247)." The third source

of data is the taped interviews with the students, structured according to

the writing survey model developed by Nancy Atwell's (1988) In the Middle,

with some modifications for teenaged students. Transcripts of these

conversations are the foundation of profiles in Part Two.

The parents of all the selected students responded with written

permission for their children to participate. Each student agreed in

writing to participate in the study. The parents and the students were fully

aware of my goals as a teacher-researcher, and understood that there were

no penalties for withdrawing from the study, nor were there any academic

rewards in the form of grades for participating. The principal of the school,

aware of the parameters of my research, gave written permission for me to 30


I have three sources of data for these case studies. The first is the

w ritten course work done by each student, including their journals, formal

w riting assignments, in-class essays and creative projects. In addition to

doing an them atic analysis of their w ritten work, I refer to my anecdotal

notes of class activities compiled during the fieldwork (Glesne & Peshkin,

1992). I have always made notes describing student presentations to use for

evaluation, so this practice was familiar to my students. These notes are

kept in a binder on a table beside my desk and students are free to look a t

them if they wish. They are descriptive, and sometimes include a m ark

which la te r I transfer to my formal records. I made notes after class about

exchanges I had with individuals in the study, but for obvious reasons,

these records were kept private and separate from my public records. The

combination of group and individual interactions informed the creation of

the case studies. The use of anecdotal evidence will provide the richness of

detail alluded to by Dyson, bu t also "anecdotal narratives are im portant for

pedagogy in th a t they function as experiential case m aterial on which

pedagogic reflection is possible (van Manen, 1989, p.247)." The third source

of data is the taped interviews with the students, structured according to

the w riting survey model developed by Nancy Atwell’s (1988) In the Middle.

w ith some modifications for teenaged students. Transcripts of these

conversations are the foundation of profiles in Part Two.

The parents of all the selected students responded with written

permission for their children to participate. Each student agreed in

w riting to participate in the study. The parents and the students were fully

aware of my goals as a teacher-researcher, and understood th a t there were

no penalties for withdrawing from the study, nor were there any academic

rew ards in the form of grades for participating. The principal of the school,

aw are of the param eters of my research, gave written permission for me to30


conduct this work in my classes. Copies of the letters to parents and

students are included in the appendices, along with the formal Ethics

Approval. The study was conducted for the course of the semester, ending

in June 1996, when my formal analysis of the data began. Of the original

eight students I approached, only six completed the study: four girls and

two boys.

The data collection process enriched my teaching. As Tripp (1994)

states, it involved a recognition that "became absorbed into what is often

called 'craft knowledge,' that is, knowledge that is experientially derived,

seldom articulated, but constantly and consistently acted upon" ( p.71).

When I started this research I did not know where it would lead me. Very

early into the process I realized that it was impossible to isolate "writing"

from the writer, or much less from other aspects of literacy. My previous

crafter's concept of writing, reading, and speaking needed to be expanded.

The work of Heath (1982, 1986, 1991), Gee (1986, 1988, 1989), Michaels (1987),

Lemke (1989), Bloome (1986, 1989), Moffet (1968), Hayhoe & Parker (1992),

Mitchell & Weiler (1991), Britton (1970), Willinsky (1990, 1991, 1991),Venezky

1990), Vygotsky (1962) and Gere (1992, 1993) informs the definition of

literacy used in this work. In these case studies, writing will be examined

as a discourse practice. Writing about the shift occurring in how literacy

studies are conceived by professionals, Gee (1986) writes of:

a current which sees literacy as necessarily plural: Different societies and social subgroups have different types of literacy, and literacy has different social and mental effects in different social and cultural contexts. Literacy is seen as a set of discourse practices, that is, as ways of using language and making sense both in speech and writing. These discourse practices are tied to the particular world views (beliefs and values) of particular social or cultural groups. Such discourse practices are integrally connected with

31


conduct this work in my classes. Copies of the letters to parents and

students are included in the appendices, along with the formal Ethics

Approval. The study was conducted for the course of the semester, ending

in June 1996, when my formal analysis of the data began. Of the original

eight students I approached, only six completed the study: four girls and

two boys.

The data collection process enriched my teaching. As Tripp (1994)

states, i t involved a recognition th a t "became absorbed into what is often

called ’craft knowledge,' that is, knowledge th a t is experientially derived,

seldom articulated, bu t constantly and consistently acted upon" ( p.71).

When I started this research I did not know where it would lead me. Very

early into the process I realized th a t it was impossible to isolate "writing"

from the writer, or much less from other aspects of literacy. My previous

crafter’s concept of writing, reading, and speaking needed to be expanded.

The work of Heath (1982, 1986, 1991), Gee (1986, 1988, 1989), Michaels (1987),

Lemke (1989), Bloome (1986,1989), Moffet (1968), Hayhoe & Parker (1992),

Mitchell & Weiler (1991), Britton (1970), Willinsky (1990, 1991, 1991),Venezky

1990), Vygotsky (1962) and Gere (1992,1993) informs the definition of

literacy used in this work. In these case studies, writing will be examined

as a discourse practice. Writing about the shift occurring in how literacy

studies are conceived by professionals, Gee (1986) writes of:

a current which sees literacy as necessarily plural: Different societies and social subgroups have different types of literacy, and literacy has different social and mental effects in different social and cultural contexts. Literacy is seen as a set of discourse practices, tha t is, as ways of using language and making sense both in speech and writing. These discourse practices are tied to the particular world views (beliefs and values) of particular social or cultural groups. Such discourse practices are integrally connected with

31


the identity or sense of self of the people who practice them; a change of discourse practices is a change of identity (p.719).

I encourage students to recognize patterns and make connections in their

lives, in the texts they read, and in their own writing. In so doing, not only

is a world view constructed, but so too is a sense of self. By writing this

thesis, I tried to do the same with the daily drama unfolding in my

classroom.

Supporting the inclusion of multiple voices in qualitative research,

Atkinson (1990) defines the researcher's role in describing and

commenting on events in a social context, which clearly includes most of

what happens in a school classroom:

The voice of the sociologist now tells us that the social world will be penetrated only by one suitably initiated into its language and activities. By implication, the casual observer will be quite unable to pierce the veil of ignorance (or, at best, superficial acquaintance) (p.92).

Early in the semester, I arrived to class minutes after the warning bell, a

time when generally I am preparing resources and beginning attendance.

In my stead, I witnessed one of my students, wearing my suit jacket,

applying my hand lotion, and calling the names as I do, marking absences

and engaging students in the regular chatter of daily life. I stood quietly

behind him as he finished the ritual. When the final bell rang, the rest of

the students laughed. Resuming my duties, I said, "You may use my

lotion, and you may help with attendance, but I draw the line at wearing

my clothes." Although it could be argued that my ability to take control of

the class simply by appearing in the classroom illustrates the inherent

power of the teacher's role, I think this story shows the quality of my

involvement in classroom life. I am accepted by the students, not as a force

32


the identity or sense of self of the people who practice them; a change of discourse practices is a change of identity (p.719).

I encourage students to recognize patterns and make connections in their

lives, in the texts they read, and in their own writing. In so doing, not only

is a world view constructed, but so too is a sense of self. By writing this

thesis, I tried to do the same with the daily drama unfolding in my

classroom .

Supporting the inclusion of multiple voices in qualitative research,

Atkinson (1990) defines the researcher's role in describing and

commenting on events in a social context, which clearly includes most of

w hat happens in a school classroom:

The voice of the sociologist now tells us that the social world will be penetrated only by one suitably initiated into its language and activities. By implication, the casual observer will be quite unable to pierce the veil of ignorance (or, a t best, superficial acquaintance) (p.92).

Early in the semester, I arrived to class minutes after the warning bell, a

tim e when generally I am preparing resources and beginning attendance.

In my stead, I witnessed one of my students, wearing my suit jacket,

applying my hand lotion, and calling the names as I do, m arking absences

and engaging students in the regular chatter of daily life. I stood quietly

behind him as he finished the ritual. When the final bell rang, the rest of

the students laughed. Resuming my duties, I said, "You may use my

lotion, and you may help with attendance, but I draw the line a t wearing

my clothes." Although it could be argued th a t my ability to take control of

the class simply by appearing in the classroom illustrates the inherent

power of the teacher's role, I think this story shows the quality of my

involvement in classroom life. I am accepted by the students, not as a force

32


to be feared, but as an active partner in the classroom. "Positive humour

prompts our pedagogical orientation to our vocation and our children, to see

the relativity of practical problems while not losing our sense of values and

commitment" (van Manen, 1991, p.203). Humour is a significant aspect of

the interaction between my students and me, and its prevalence in our

relationship indicates the extent of the trust we share.

I claim no impartiality regarding the welfare of my students; they

are the source of my professional joy. Above all, it is the connection I feel

toward them that gives my work purpose and ultimately, situates me to

conduct these case studies (van Manen, 1988). I am an insider, and am

able share with other educators something of what it means to teach

writing in a high school.

33


to be feared, but as an active partner in the classroom. "Positive hum our

prompts our pedagogical orientation to our vocation and our children, to see

the relativity of practical problems while not losing our sense of values and

commitment" (van Manen, 1991, p.203). Humour is a significant aspect of

the interaction between my students and me, and its prevalence in our

relationship indicates the extent of the tru s t we share.

I claim no im partiality regarding the welfare of my students; they

are the source of my professional joy. Above all, it is the connection I feel

toward them th a t gives my work purpose and ultimately, situates me to

conduct these case studies (van Manen, 1988). I am an insider, and am

able share w ith other educators something of what it m eans to teach

writing in a high school.

33


Part Two: Students define themselves as writers

While the self-understanding of novice writers is no more definitive than anyone else's, their voices, heard in counterpoint to ours, can challenge methods, assumptions, and hidden agendas that have hitherto authorized profoundly disabling -and profoundly dishonest - "constructions" of the student and student language. (Spellmeyer, 1993, p.27)

L Introduction

The decision to begin this thesis with a description of a collaborative

writing event was to emphasize the importance of the social context of

literacy. There are two reasons to begin the following presentation of

findings with the conversations I had with students about writing. First, to

emphasize the importance of the relationship between the student and

teacher, it is important to hear how we talk to each other; excerpts from the

transcripts of our conversations reveal some of the essence of our

relationships. Second, to give their voices a prominent forum, the students'

comments and observations are presented at length in this section. "Direct

quotes from those observed are another means of conveying to the reader

the point of view of those who were studied (Erickson, 1986, p.150) " The

individual conversations I had with Jackie, Aaron, Anne, Cassie, Roger

and Sandy are the foundation of the case studies, and a reminder to me of

how much I could learn about teaching from my students.

Each of the students will speak for themselves, and each is identified

by the first initial of their names (all names are pseudonyms). And V. is

me. When I transcribed the tapes of our conversations I used a slash ( / ) to

indicate a pause in speech and a series of slashes, ( / / ) or ( / / / ), to indicate

silences of increasing length, ranging from approximately two to ten

34


Part Two: Students define them selves as w riters

While the self-understanding of novice writers is no more definitive than anyone else's, their voices, heard in counterpoint to ours, can challenge methods, assumptions, and hidden agendas th a t have hitherto authorized profoundly disabling - and profoundly dishonest - "constructions" of the student and student language. (Spellmeyer, 1993, p.27)

L Introduction

The decision to begin this thesis with a description of a collaborative

w riting event was to emphasize the importance of the social context of

literacy. There are two reasons to begin the following presentation of

findings with the conversations I had with students about writing. First, to

emphasize the importance of the relationship between the student and

teacher, it is im portant to hear how we talk to each other; excerpts from the

transcripts of our conversations reveal some of the essence of our

relationships. Second, to give their voices a prominent forum, the students’

comments and observations are presented a t length in this section. "Direct

quotes from those observed are another means of conveying to the reader

the point of view of those who were studied (Erickson, 1986, p. 150)" The

individual conversations I had with Jackie, Aaron, Anne, Cassie, Roger

and Sandy are the foundation of the case studies, and a reminder to me of

how much I could learn about teaching from my students.

Each of the students will speak for themselves, and each is identified

by the first initial of their nam es (all names are pseudonyms). And V. is

me. When I transcribed the tapes of our conversations I used a slash ( / ) to

indicate a pause in speech and a series of slashes, ( / / ) or ( / / / ) , to indicate

silences of increasing length, ranging from approximately two to ten

34


seconds. Other punctuation is not included, unless I know a question was

asked. When I experimented with including regular punctuation, I found

myself creating a text, but not necessarily an accurate representation of

what was said in conversation. An ellipsis enclosed within two slashes

( / ... /) indicates a significant omission from the text of the transcript.

Laughter which interrupted conversation is indicated by (*laughter); the

degree of laughter depends on the number of asterisks. The interviews

were all conducted either during noon hour or immediately after school,

depending on the schedule of the student, and lasted approximately an

hour. All students were familiar with the questions asked; along with

everyone else in their English class, they each had responded to the same

ones in their journals earlier in the semester.

The first participant's interview was rescheduled a couple of times.

Crises have a way of intruding into school life. The following transcript of a

note shows what I mean, and also introduces the first student to be

discussed.

Dear Mrs. Mulholland, I think that I missed our

interview yesterday. It totally slipped my mind - I forgot to change the date in my day timer. This morning I had another allergic reaction so I have to the doctor, allergy specialist and dermatologist. Please send any assignments with Jason or Dave or Bob. If I make it back this after noon, I'll come to set up a time with my daytimer.

Sorry, Jackie. We worked it out.

A. Jackie

Because women in our culture are not simply encouraged but required to be the bearers of emotion, which men are culturally conditioned to

35


seconds. O ther punctuation is not included, unless I know a question was

asked. When I experimented with including regular punctuation, I found

myself creating a text, but not necessarily an accurate representation of

what was said in conversation. An ellipsis enclosed within two slashes

( / . . . / ) indicates a significant omission from the text of the transcript.

Laughter which interrupted conversation is indicated by (*laughter); the

degree of laughter depends on the number of asterisks. The interviews

were all conducted either during noon hour or immediately after school,

depending on the schedule of the student, and lasted approximately an

hour. All students were familiar with the questions asked; along with

everyone else in their English class, they each had responded to the same

ones in their journals earlier in the semester.

The first participant's interview was rescheduled a couple of times.

Crises have a way of intruding into school life. The following transcript of a

note shows what I mean, and also introduces the first student to be

discussed.

Dear Mrs. M ulholland, I th in k th a t I m issed our interview yesterday. I t to tally slipped my m in d - 1 forgot to change the date in m y d ay timer. T h is m orning I had another allergic reaction so I have to the doctor, allergy specialist a n d dermatologist.Please send any assignm ents w ith Jason or Dave or Bob. I f I make it back th is a fter noon, I 'l l come to set up a time w ith m y daytim er.

Sorry, Jackie.We worked it out.

A. Jackie

Because women in our culture are not simply encouraged but required to be the bearers of emotion, which men are culturally conditioned to

35


repress, an epistemology which excludes emotions from the process of attaining knowledge radically undercuts women's epistemic authority. (Tompkins, 1989, p.123)

Glorious Jackie. She exudes confidence, expresses herself with flair

and rules most social situations with the poise of a sophisticated adult.

Whether as a blond, or as a redhead, or some variation in between, Jackie

attracts attention with her captivating personality, her presence. A

consummate communicator, Jackie does not merely use words. Her talk

is a flood, a spillway of words, which is not to suggest that it is rambling

and thoughtless. When Jackie talks, the language is honest, rapid and

rich with experience. Listening, I get the sense her thoughts are far ahead

of her speech, and re-reading the transcript, I know too much of her

vivacity is lost when represented only by black marks on the page. Anyone

interested in adolescent discourse would be drawn to her; however, it was

not her public self which caused me to ask her to participate in this study.

It was her journal.

Jackie writes pages while others struggle with a few sentences. She

can weave a complicated story or reflect on heart-breaking personal

experience with equal skill, on demand. I do not recall her ever being

"without an idea." The preponderance of expressive writing in her folder

suggests that she uses writing to understand herself, and the events

unravelling around her. Jackie knows herself very well, and her self

awareness is at least in part due to the writing she does. What I did not

know before I talked to her specifically about writing was the extent to

which she uses writing to construct her life.

Raised in a print-rich, comfortable home, it is not surprising that

Jackie has developed such a facility with words, and has learned uses for

literacy beyond the academic realm. She shares an affinity for reading

36


repress, an epistemology which excludes emotions from the process of attaining knowledge radically undercuts women’s epistemic authority.(Tompkins, 1989, p. 123)

Glorious Jackie. She exudes confidence, expresses herself with flair

and rules most social situations with the poise of a sophisticated adult.

W hether as a blond, or as a redhead, or some variation in between, Jackie

attracts attention with her captivating personality, her presence. A

consummate communicator, Jackie does not merely use words. Her talk

is a flood, a spillway of words, which is not to suggest th a t i t is rambling

and thoughtless. When Jackie talks, the language is honest, rapid and

rich with experience. Listening, I get the sense her thoughts are far ahead

of her speech, and re-reading the transcript, I know too much of her

vivacity is lost when represented only by black marks on the page. Anyone

interested in adolescent discourse would be drawn to her; however, it was

not her public self which caused me to ask her to participate in this study.

It was her journal.

Jackie writes pages while others struggle with a few sentences. She

can weave a complicated story or reflect on heart-breaking personal

experience with equal skill, on demand. I do not recall her ever being

"without an idea." The preponderance of expressive writing in her folder

suggests th a t she uses writing to understand herself, and the events

unravelling around her. Jackie knows herself very well, and her self

awareness is a t least in part due to the writing she does. W hat I did not

know before I talked to her specifically about writing was the extent to

which she uses writing to construct her life.

Raised in a print-rich, comfortable home, it is not surprising th a t

Jackie has developed such a facility with words, and has learned uses for

literacy beyond the academic realm. She shares an affinity for reading

36


with her mother, who is a key influence in Jackie's life. They appear to

share everything, even though Jackie claims in her interview that books

are what they share: "my mom and 1, that's about the only thing, the most

common thing we talk about, you know we don't have a lot in common " In

getting to know Jackie, I observed that they shared a good deal more than

that. Jackie's mother could be described as her "other self," the person

with whom she shares many of the things in her life which are really

important. I began by asking Jackie about learning to read and write, her

literacy history. She had much to say.

J: I always was read to ever since I was really

little / I never remember going to bed without a

bedtime story / we used to read chapter books like

Charlotte's Web and Beverly Cleary and all those /

you know a chapter a night or two chapters a

night / and I guess I started to draw / even though

I can't draw / and you know make my own words and then so I could read to my mom my own

stories / ... /I guess that when I learned to read I

just did / and I always loved it / and before I went

to bed I always have to read / to wind down and /

but it was easy for me / like I always read / it was

not a hard thing to do at all / it was really not

tough V: Did your mom and your dad read to you?

J: My mom more so / ... / my mom is an avid reader and she always bought me books / best-sellers and always talks about books / ... / and I guess because always always we read and talk about our books / ... / like I'm reading this now

and it's a good one and you should read that she says / ... / and if she doesn't like it she tells me

37


with her mother, who is a key influence in Jackie's life. They appear to

share everything, even though Jackie claims in her interview th a t books

are what they share: "my mom and I, that's about the only thing, the most

common thing we talk about, you know we don't have a lot in common." In

getting to know Jackie, I observed th a t they shared a good deal more than

that. Jackie's mother could be described as her "other self," the person

with whom she shares many of the things in her life which are really

important. I began by asking Jackie about learning to read and write, her

literacy history. She had much to say.

J: I always was read to ever since I was really little / 1 never remember going to bed without a bedtime story / we used to read chapter books like Charlotte's Web and Beverly Cleary and all those / you know a chapter a night or two chapters a night / and I guess I started to draw / even though I can’t draw / and you know make my own words and then so I could read to my mom my own stories I ... 11 guess th a t when I learned to read I ju s t did / and I always loved it / and before I went to bed I always have to read / to wind down and / but it was easy for me / like I always read / it was not a hard thing to do a t all / it was really not toughV: Did your mom and your dad read to you?J: My mom more so / ... / my mom is an avid reader and she always bought me books / bestsellers and always talks about books I ... I and I guess because always always we read and talk about our books / ... / like I'm reading this now and it's a good one and you should read th a t she says / ... / and if she doesn't like it she tells me

37


V: What kinds of things do you like to read? / /

J: Probably right now I sorta like murder trials / I

like to read sorta you know crime / crime-like love

stories / / it's strange because I love Anne of

Green Gables and I have the whole set / it's sort of

just stories you know / but I guess probably

Danielle Steele / ones like where there are

accidents and her daughter / you know real life

stories / /

A recurring theme in Jackie's talk about writing is her tendency to

work out emotional issues by writing, and to some degree, by reading. She

mentions re-reading favourite books from childhood because they "remind

her of good times" and later in the interview, discusses re-reading books to

make sure she understands them. In her writing, she often describes

difficulties she is experiencing at home, school or work with remarkable

candour. Reading has been important in Jackie's life from the beginning,

and writing is a forum for her emotional development and often a source of

emotional comfort.

J: Uh / yeah / I used to write poems all the time / you know I've got a whole book of them / I'd write them if my mom or dad were mad at me or if I felt bad / uh / a few times I sat down and tried to write like a novel / but it's so hard / you just can't get going because you've got so many ideas / things to say but it's so hard to describe / but I did actually write a story at home one night / / but that was neat because the teacher says write your own story / /

V: Did you ever have writing workshop in your younger days where you were able to choose your own topics?

38


V: W hat kinds of things do you like to read? I ... I J: Probably right now I sorta like m urder trials / I like to read sorta you know crime / crime-like love stories I ... I i t ’s strange because I love Anne of Green Gables and I have the whole set / i t ’s sort of ju st stories you know / bu t I guess probably Danielle Steele / ones like where there are accidents and her daughter / you know real life stories I ... I

A recurring theme in Jackie's ta lk about writing is her tendency to

work out emotional issues by writing, and to some degree, by reading. She

mentions re-reading favourite books from childhood because they "remind

her of good times" and la ter in the interview, discusses re-reading books to

make sure she understands them. In her writing, she often describes

difficulties she is experiencing at home, school or work with rem arkable

candour. Reading has been im portant in Jackie's life from the beginning,

and writing is a forum for her emotional development and often a source of

emotional comfort.

J: Uh / yeah / I used to write poems all the time / you know I've got a whole book of them / I’d write them if my mom or dad were mad a t me or if I felt bad / uh / a few times I sa t down and tried to write like a novel / but it’s so hard / you ju st can't get going because you've got so many ideas / things to say but it’s so hard to describe / but I did actually write a story a t home one night I ... I bu t that was neat because the teacher says write your own story / ... /V: Did you ever have writing workshop in your younger days where you were able to choose your own topics?

38


J: Sometimes / but not a lot / I don't remember

V: I thought you might have been part of that

generation who began doing that kind of writing /

so do you keep a journal? J: Uh / I keep a drama journal only because it was

required / but I really started to really like writing

in it

Jackie does not mention the journal she writes in during class at this point,

even though it contains many entries not associated with school

assignments. Given the ease with which she appears to write in her

journal, she may not consciously associate journal writing with her class

work. She answers interview questions with long, detailed answers, much

like the entries in her journal. I make a valiant effort to return to the

questions, not yet aware of the futility of such a device in a real

conversation.

V: How do teenagers know or come to understand what good writing is / ... / how do you know if you've done a good job of a formal assignment? J: / / / You see I don't have like / after my career essay I had a really good feeling / but my in-class essays and stuff / I just come out and oh did I ever bomb / like I don't think that I really know what it means / like I don't know that I write well / I guess you look at yourself in the harshest light and I do

I was genuinely shocked by her response. She has always done very well in

all English classes, and because of her social confidence, I expected her to

be aware of her abilities as a writer. I have no reason to doubt the sincerity

of her response. Regularly receiving high grades does not appear to have 39


J: Sometimes / but not a lot / 1 don't remember V: I thought you might have been part of that generation who began doing that kind of writing / so do you keep a journal?J: Uh / I keep a drama journal only because i t was required / bu t I really started to really like writing in it

Jackie does not mention the journal she writes in during class a t this point,

even though it contains many entries not associated with school

assignments. Given the ease with which she appears to write in her

journal, she may not consciously associate journal writing with her class

work. She answers interview questions with long, detailed answers, much

like the entries in her journal. I make a valiant effort to return to the

questions, not yet aware of the futility of such a device in a real

conversation.

V: How do teenagers know or come to understand what good writing is / ... / how do you know if you've done a good job of a formal assignment?J: / / / You see I don’t have like / after my career essay I had a really good feeling / but my in-class essays and stuff / I ju st come out and oh did I ever bomb / like I don't think that I really know what it means / like I don't know that I write well / I guess you look at yourself in the harshest light and I do

I was genuinely shocked by her response. She has always done very well in

all English classes, and because of her social confidence, I expected her to

be aware of her abilities as a writer. I have no reason to doubt the sincerity

of her response. Regularly receiving high grades does not appear to have39


convinced her that she is a competent writer, and from her response,

transactional writing remains an intimidating discourse for her, despite

her being largely successful in this area.

V: / / So you don't know when you've written a

good paper? J: No / absolutely not / / you know I don't

understand / I think that it's that I have to answer

a question with three points in three paragraphs /

I think that's the hardest part / with the career

essay project you gather your information /

organize it yourself V: That's way more complicated because you have

to create your own structure J: But I found that easier / I found it challenging /

there was so much work in it but / I don't know / I

just felt that that came together real nice and after

I printed that final page V: On that beautiful paper (*laughter) (Jackie

purchased special paper for the assignment)

J: I just thought you know I did a good job / when I

do my essays very rarely do I feel that way / / I

also find that I love to creatively write / you know I

love to creative write / and when I find topics /

three points it is so ordinary

Jackie's feels her authentic self is repressed in formal writing. The

ebullience she brings to other areas of her life is stifled by the conventions of

the from. When she controls the variables, even though her writing choices

are more complex, she feels better about what she writes. The assignment

she refers to as her career paper is a major research project in grade

eleven. Students are required not only to conduct formal research, but also

40


convinced h er tha t she is a competent writer, and from her response,

transactional writing remains an intim idating discourse for her, despite

her being largely successful in this area.

V: / ... / So you don’t know when you've written a good paper?J: No / absolutely not / ... / you know I don't understand / I think tha t it's th a t I have to answer a question with three points in three paragraphs /I think that's the hardest part / with the career essay project you gather your information / organize it yourselfV: That's way more complicated because you have to create your own structureJ: But I found that easier / I found it challenging / there was so much work in it but / I don’t know / I ju s t felt th a t that came together real nice and after I printed th a t final page V: On th a t beautiful paper S laughter) (Jackie purchased special paper for the assignment)J : I just thought you know I did a good job / when I do my essays very rarely do I feel th a t way I ... 11 also find tha t I love to creatively write / you know I love to creative write / and when I find topics / three points it is so ordinary

Jackie's feels her authentic self is repressed in formal writing. The

ebullience she brings to other areas of her life is stifled by the conventions of

the from. When she controls the variables, even though her writing choices

are more complex, she feels better about what she writes. The assignment

she refers to as her career paper is a major research project in grade

eleven. Students are required not only to conduct formal research, but also

40


interview people from the community working in a field of interest to the

individual. The assignment requires expressive and transactional writing,

and the expectation is that students will cite sources and document facts

mentioned in the paper. I got a clearer understanding of why Jackie feels

insecure about her formal writing when we discussed her idea of

literature.

Jackie has definite opinions about reading, and her view of literature

relates to her view of writing.

J: (thoughtfully) / / / I guess that / / / if it / / books

that I sit down with like I have books that I have

tried maybe eight times and if I don't understand

the words and if I have to keep going back I know

that this is not for me / ... / I think that is a dream

world / you know how she calls the ordinary

avenue / she uses really descriptive words and I

totally can paint myself a picture of it V: Strong imagery?

J: Yeah and then I can see / almost get into that

character and sometimes I just sit there and cry

and cry if something goes wrong in the story / or if

the person in the story is in trouble you kinda feel what am I going to do but then I go (dramatically) but it's not me

V: But if it takes you into that character's world

then that's good writing? If you lose yourself in the story? So Dominick Dunne is a good writer? (We discussed this writer at length earlier in the conversation) / or those reasons? J: I think so yeah / like the Bradley family he painted a really strong picture about that / that's why the TV series just sucked because they were all such bad characters / I could not understand

41


interview people from the community working in a field of in terest to the

individual. The assignment requires expressive and transactional writing,

and the expectation is th a t students will cite sources and document facts

mentioned in the paper. I got a clearer understanding of why Jackie feels

insecure about her formal writing when we discussed her idea of

literature.

Jackie has definite opinions about reading, and her view of literature

relates to her view of writing.

J: (thoughtfully) I I I I guess tha t / / / if it / / books th a t I sit down with like I have books th a t I have tried maybe eight times and if I don't understand the words and if I have to keep going back I know th a t this is not for me I ... 11 think th a t is a dream world / you know how she calls the ordinary avenue / she uses really descriptive words and I totally can paint myself a picture of it V: Strong imagery?J: Yeah and then I can see / almost get into that character and sometimes I ju st sit there and cry and cry if something goes wrong in the story / or if the person in the story is in trouble you kinda feel w hat am I going to do but then I go (dramatically) but it's not meV: But if it takes you into tha t character’s worldthen that's good writing? If you lose yourself in thestory? So Dominick Dunne is a good writer? (Wediscussed this writer a t length earlier in theconversation) / or those reasons?J: I think so yeah / like the Bradley family hepainted a really strong picture about th a t / that'swhy the TV series ju st sucked because they wereall such bad characters / I could not understand

41


how they could have picked them [the actors]

because in the book Bradley is so much more

glamourous V: So part of the reason you can't tell whether

essays are good writing when you write them is

because they don't engage you / take you

somewhere else?

J: Probably / I think / yeah

V: I don't know the answer to this either

J: You can think back on parts of your life and tie

them together / but in essays for class that is really

hard /... /

From what she says, Jackie knows that personal connection to the subject

results in better writing and engagement with the text. Researchers who

study the teaching of writing know this, too. In Jackie's view, unless there

is an emotional element that she understands in what she reads or writes,

the writing is not "good." As she explains her position, I find myself

mentally going over assignments I give to students which fail to meet this

most fundamental requirement. Jackie knows the world through her

emotions, and in school, that way of knowing is not privileged.

J: When I'm writing a lot of it comes from the heart and I don't like to / I don't know V: Spill your guts on the table? (*laughter)

J: Yeah / I don't always want to tell the whole truth V: You don't have to here / you know we've been reading mainly autobiographical writing lately / they all lie (*laughter) / ... / (discussion of a writer we discussed in class who said once you write something down it becomes fiction) J: I think so / and then I kinda compare it [her

42


how they could have picked them [the actors] because in the book Bradley is so much more glamourousV: So part of the reason you can't tell whether essays are good writing when you write them is because they don't engage you / take you somewhere else?J: Probably / I think / yeah V: I don't know the answer to this either J: You can think back on parts of your life and tie them together / but in essays for class th a t is really hard /... /

From what she says, Jackie knows th a t personal connection to the subject

results in better writing and engagement with the text. Researchers who

study the teaching of writing know this, too. In Jackie's view, unless there

is an emotional element th a t she understands in what she reads or writes,

the writing is not "good." As she explains her position, I find myself

mentally going over assignments I give to students which fail to meet this

most fundamental requirement. Jackie knows the world through her

emotions, and in school, th a t way of knowing is not privileged.

J: When I'm writing a lot of it comes from the heart and I don’t like to / I don't know V: Spill your guts on the table? (Slaughter)J: Yeah / I don’t always want to tell the whole tru thV: You don't have to here / you know we've beenreading mainly autobiographical writing lately /they all lie (*laughter) I ... I (discussion of a writerwe discussed in class who said once you writesomething down it becomes fiction)J: I think so / and then I kinda compare it [her

42


story] to Dominick Dunne's story and I think what

am I doing? Because I've never lived in a rich

family that had to carry a dead body away

(*laughter)

V: Good

J: That kind of thing doesn't come up everyday /

but I kind of think is this [referring again to her

own writing] interesting enough? You almost

want to find something really interesting / that's

why I had such hard trouble deciding on a writing

topic / it's tough / / right / sometimes I feel so

disorganized before I start a project / I'm all

scatter-brained thinking what am I going to do

what am I going to do but it will come together /

It's hard because you really have to have a true

understanding of everything that is going on / and

the vague parts have to come true / /

Jackie bases judgments of her own writing not on the grade she receives in

school, but rather on how well she thinks her writing compares to the books

she considers "good." At the time of the interview, the Dominick Dunne

novel consumed her interest.

J: I'm almost done reading Season in Purgatory and I'm going back saying where does she come

in and all that / and you have to do that in the writing too V: So you are figuring out how he did that writing?

J: Yeah / I see what he [the author, Dominick Dunne] does

If a student values drama and emotion in literature, it seems legitimate

that the standard set by that type of writing should influence judgments of

43


story] to Dominick Dunne’s story and I think what am I doing? Because I’ve never lived in a rich family th a t had to carry a dead body away (♦laughter)V: GoodJ: That kind of thing doesn’t come up everyday / but I kind of think is this [referring again to her own writing] interesting enough? You almost want to find something really interesting / that's why I had such hard trouble deciding on a writing topic / it's tough / ... / right / sometimes I feel sodisorganized before I s ta rt a project / I'm all scatter-brained thinking what am I going to do what am I going to do but it will come together /It’s hard because you really have to have a true understanding of everything that is going on / and the vague parts have to come true I ... I

Jackie bases judgments of her own writing not on the grade she receives in

school, but rather on how well she thinks her writing compares to the books

she considers "good." At the time of the interview, the Dominick Dunne

novel consumed her interest.

J: I'm almost done reading Season in Purgatory and I'm going back saying where does she come in and all th a t / and you have to do th a t in the writing tooV: So you are figuring out how he did th a t writing?J: Yeah / I see what he [the author, Dominick Dunne] does

If a student values dram a and emotion in literature, it seems legitimate

tha t the standard set by th a t type of writing should influence judgm ents of

43


their own work. In the literature about teaching writing, the importance of

exposure to print is emphasized (Calkins 1991, 1994). Jackie provided a

concrete example of how the model provided by professional writers can

influence a fledgling writer.

Similar to events in a novel, the conversation took an unexpected

"turn in the road." I asked Jackie why she thought people wrote.

Thoughtfully, she responded with a story to illustrate what she believes.

Once again, I was totally unprepared for what Jackie told me next.

"Writing to learn" took on an entirely different mantle in her anecdote

about algebra.

Currently, teachers are encouraged to include writing in all subjects

across the curriculum to assist students to learn. Jackie uses writing in

her algebra story, but not as the literature would have teachers instruct

students to use writing to understand concepts in mathematics. Her

algebra story includes the recurring theme of quelling emotional upheaval

by writing, and I think it expands the notion of writing to learn beyond

recognition. Jackie's mother told me that since she was eight years old,

Jackie has controlled her own life. The algebra story convinced me that her

mother is right.

J: I think about that [why people write] a lot / in my math exam in grade ten / I'm horrible in Algebra I can't pass it / I feel like I'm going to

throw up or pass out / anyways I wrote the most wonderful story I've ever written during my algebra exam / I'd write a bit and then I'd go back a try to do a few more questions and then I'd write a bit and then I'd do a few more questions and it works / writing the story works

44


their own work. In the literature about teaching writing, the importance of

exposure to prin t is emphasized (Calkins 1991, 1994). Jackie provided a

concrete example of how the model provided by professional w riters can

influence a fledgling writer.

Similar to events in a novel, the conversation took an unexpected

"turn in the road." I asked Jackie why she thought people wrote.

Thoughtfully, she responded with a story to illustrate what she believes.

Once again, I was totally unprepared for what Jackie told me next.

"Writing to learn" took on an entirely different m antle in her anecdote

about algebra.

Currently, teachers are encouraged to include writing in all subjects

across the curriculum to assist students to learn. Jackie uses writing in

her algebra story, but not as the literature would have teachers instruct

students to use writing to understand concepts in mathematics. Her

algebra story includes the recurring theme of quelling emotional upheaval

by writing, and I think it expands the notion of writing to learn beyond

recognition. Jackie's mother told me tha t since she was eight years old,

Jackie has controlled her own life. The algebra story convinced me that her

mother is right.

J: I think about that [why people write] a lot / in my math exam in grade ten / I'm horrible in Algebra I can't pass it / I feel like I'm going to throw up or pass out / anyways I wrote the most wonderful story I’ve ever written during my algebra exam / I'd write a bit and then I'd go back a try to do a few more questions and then I’d write a b it and then I'd do a few more questions and it works / writing the story works

44


V: That's the most amazing story / what was the

story about? J: It was about a dinner party that this woman

was having that evening and how she was getting

all ready in her house and her husband came

down and she drove him to work and as she was

driving through one of those wooden bridges that

went over the water her car slipped on the ice and

went careening over (*laughter)

V: Are you the woman who went careening over

the bridge into the water? J: I don't think so / but that might be about my

algebra class V: Did you pass? J: I passed the class with a 61 / ... / Sometimes I

do this if I'm having a fight with mom and dad or

whatever but usually not in my algebra class / Mr.

G. was so mad at me he like goes what are you

doing? V: You didn't explain to him that this was your

method? J: No

She describes how she returned to the story during the exam whenever a

problem got confusing, then she would calm down and go back to her

algebra questions. Writing becomes the balm to soothe the savage beast,

algebra.

J: It worked / and when I read it to my mom V: You didn't hand this in / it was on a separate piece of paper? J: Yeah / but I read it to my mom / I went to my mom's office after the exam because she said come tell me how you did / and I walked in and she said how did you do / so she still remembers this when I get stressed out / I said to her I don't think I did

45


V: That’s the most amazing story / what was the story about?J: It was about a dinner party th a t this woman was having that evening and how she was getting all ready in her house and her husband came down and she drove him to work and as she was driving through one of those wooden bridges th a t went over the w ater her car slipped on the ice and went careening over (*laughter)V: Are you the woman who went careening over the bridge into the water?J: I don't think so / but that m ight be about my algebra class V: Did you pass?J: I passed the class with a 61 / ... / Sometimes I do this if I’m having a fight with mom and dad or whatever but usually not in my algebra class / Mr.G. was so mad a t me he like goes what are you doing?V: You didn't explain to him th a t this was your method?J: No

She describes how she returned to the story during the exam whenever a

problem got confusing, then she would calm down and go back to her

algebra questions. Writing becomes the balm to soothe the savage beast,

algebra.

J: It worked / and when I read it to my mom V: You didn’t hand this in / it was on a separate piece of paper?J: Yeah / but I read it to my mom / I went to my mom's office after the exam because she said come tell me how you did / and I walked in and she said how did you do / so she still remembers this when I get stressed out / I said to her I don't think I did

45


very good on my alg but I wrote a great story

(*laughter)

The interview with Jackie never did stay on topic for very long.

Clearly, she is a writer and usually she can see the value of her work.

Despite receiving high grades for all of her writing assignments, Jackie

does not appear to believe that her transactional writing is strong. At this

stage in her life, I believe that genre is not her priority in any case. She has

developed her own forms of literacy, to suit her own purposes. Writing is a

tool she uses to know herself and control her emotions. Whether school

writing in any real sense has supported that development is debatable. We

did not get through the questions because most answers led into

unanticipated, often enlightening, stories. What I also noticed is that the

control in each of my conversations with students varied. Jackie controlled

this conversation. With some of the others, I had to coax responses. But

not with Roger.

B. Roger

The recognition that many people lead lives of creative makeshift and improvisation surely has implications for how the next generation is educated and what we tell our sons and daughters (Bateson, 1990, p.16).

Roger's eyes are piercing, but his wit is gentle. When he speaks,

people listen, partly because he is insightful and often because he can be

very entertaining. His interest in the arts gives him a profile in school; he

acts in plays, does improv, and is sometimes called upon to act as Master of

Ceremonies for cultural events at school. For some years, he was a

member of the writer's group, until older students he "hung out with"

graduated. Not surprisingly, Roger defines writing as an art, and the act of 46


very good on my alg bu t I wrote a great story (*laughter)

The interview with Jackie never did stay on topic for very long.

Clearly, she is a w riter and usually she can see the value of her work.

Despite receiving high grades for all of her writing assignments, Jackie

does not appear to believe th a t her transactional writing is strong. At this

stage in her life, I believe tha t genre is not her priority in any case. She has

developed her own forms of literacy, to suit her own purposes. W riting is a

tool she uses to know herself and control her emotions. W hether school

writing in any real sense has supported tha t development is debatable. We

did not get through the questions because most answers led into

unanticipated, often enlightening, stories. W hat I also noticed is th a t the

control in each of my conversations with students varied. Jackie controlled

this conversation. With some of the others, I had to coax responses. But

not with Roger.

B. Roger

The recognition th a t many people lead lives of creative makeshift and improvisation surely has implications for how the next generation is educated and what we tell our sons and daughters (Bateson, 1990, p. 16).

Roger's eyes are piercing, but his wit is gentle. When he speaks,

people listen, partly because he is insightful and often because he can be

very entertaining. His in terest in the arts gives him a profile in school; he

acts in plays, does improv, and is sometimes called upon to act as M aster of

Ceremonies for cultural events a t school. For some years, he was a

member of the w riter’s group, until older students he "hung out with"

graduated. Not surprisingly, Roger defines writing as an art, and the act of46


writing as essentially an aesthetic experience.

R: I think if they can write things so that everyone

can read them and understand them / you know

understand what it is that this person is trying to

say then they're a writer but I have difficulty /

writing / communicating what it is I want to say /

I'm not sure how to do it V: Do you think that's essentially it / to be able to

communicate an idea?

R: / / / or to be able to communicate what it is you

want to say / not necessarily an idea / V: Ok R: To show things / / / it is something I think you

have to have a gift for / it is a talent V: Not something learned R: Oh well it can be learned to a certain degree / I mean you can learn the mechanics of writing and how to do it but if you don't have that certain talent / that je ne sais quoi V: Some writers say that it is not a choice that they make / that it is a compulsion / they don't have an

alternative / is that the same as having a talent? R: Probably because / writing is what you feel it is what you were meant to do it is your medium or whatever you want to call it / I suppose it is made for you and you were made for it V: Are we talking about writing as an art / what about other kinds of writing? R: I think I know / / / V: I can write you a note and I think I can make it fairly clear what I mean R: I think I am speaking more in terms of an art because there is writing which is purely analytic

47


writing as essentially an aesthetic experience.

R: I think if they can write things so tha t everyone can read them and understand them / you know understand what it is th a t this person is trying to say then they’re a writer bu t I have difficulty / writing / communicating what it is I want to say / I'm not sure how to do itV: Do you think that's essentially it / to be able to communicate an idea?R: / / / or to be able to communicate what it is you want to say / not necessarily an idea /V: OkR: To show things / / / it is something I think you have to have a gift for / it is a talent V: Not something learnedR: Oh well it can be learned to a certain degree / I mean you can learn the mechanics of writing and how to do it but if you don't have tha t certain talent / th a t je ne sais quoiV: Some writers say th a t it is not a choice th a t they make / that it is a compulsion / they don’t have an alternative / is th a t the same as having a talent?R: Probably because / writing is w hat you feel it is what you were m eant to do it is your medium or whatever you w ant to call i t / I suppose it is made for you and you were made for it V: Are we talking about writing as an a rt / what about other kinds of writing?R: I think I know I I IV: I can write you a note and I think I can make it fairly clear what I meanR: I th ink I am speaking more in terms of an art because there is writing which is purely analytic

47


like text book writing but it's not beautiful writing

V: It's not art?

R: Right it's not art so I guess you can write

without the talent but it won't be as interesting or

necessarily / / /

V: But aren't there other purposes for writing

rather than creating art?

R: Uhm yeah I guess so I just realized this now /

there is the raw communication kind of writing

that you need to get by in everyday life / not mine

(*laughter) / but newspapers notes textbooks and

what not then there is the artistic side of writing

(* laughter)

Roger is not generally considered a strong English student by his teachers,

which seems problematic to me, given his insight. His description of how

difficult and time consuming writing is underscores a recurring problem

many students have writing in school. Often, teachers and students are

rushed to complete assignments, even though many of us recognize that

writing takes time. For Roger, expressive writing in journals is equally

daunting.

R: That's one thing I can't do very well / I have a hard time expressing myself with writing because / / for me writing is something I have to think about so much / I'm thinking how is this spelled

and where does this go V: It is arduous? R: Yeah / it takes so much thought that I can't communicate very well V: That's interesting / people often assume that if you are an articulate speaker which you are that it would follow that you would also be a fluent writer

48


like text book writing but i t’s not beautiful writing V: It's not art?R: Right it’s not art so I guess you can write without the talent but it won’t be as interesting or necessarily I I IV: But aren't there other purposes for writing rather than creating art?R: Uhm yeah I guess so I ju s t realized this now / there is the raw communication kind of writing th a t you need to get by in everyday life / not mine (♦laughter) / bu t newspapers notes textbooks and what not then there is the artistic side of writing (* laughter)

Roger is not generally considered a strong English student by his teachers,

which seems problematic to me, given his insight. His description of how

difficult and time consuming writing is underscores a recurring problem

m any students have writing in school. Often, teachers and students are

rushed to complete assignments, even though many of us recognize th a t

w riting takes time. For Roger, expressive writing in journals is equally

daun ting .

R: That’s one thing I can’t do very well / I have a hard time expressing myself with writing because / / for me writing is something I have to think about so much / I'm thinking how is this spelled and where does this go V: It is arduous?R: Yeah / it takes so much thought th a t I can't communicate very wellV: That's interesting / people often assume tha t if you are an articulate speaker which you are th a t it would follow th a t you would also be a fluent writer

48


R: I think I am a very visual person and when I

think I see pictures so writing just doesn't work

for me it is something that doesn't seem natural to

me but it just depends on what kind of person you

are

The intercom blurts out a message, and after some discussion of the

interruption, and the nature of interruptions in conversations at school in

general, we turned to Roger's literacy history, as he remembers it.

R: I was a little odd because I was in French

immersion / ... / the first things I read and they

were all in French and I can read French fairly

well and write French fairly well but / I couldn't

in English until about grade three / one night I

decided I had to teach myself / no one else was

willing to teach me at school / or didn't want to

teach French immersion students to read in

English for some reason until a later time / didn't

want parents to teach them either / ... / but I never

had that ambition until about grade three / when

there were these Peanuts you know Charlie Brown

V: Uhuh (*laughter) R: / ... / My mother had read a few to me and I

thought they were funny and I wanted to read

them / and I looked at them and I looked at them / / / so I started to piece together meaning from what I knew of French / uh I remember words when I see them by how they look so I don't read phonetically V: Sight vocabulary? R: I don't know if anyone reads phonetically but I read by sight / and I just eventually started

49


R: I think I am a very visual person and when I think I see pictures so writing ju s t doesn’t work for me i t is something that doesn't seem n a tu ra l to me but it just depends on w hat kind of person you are

The intercom blurts out a message, and after some discussion of the

interruption, and the nature of interruptions in conversations a t school in

general, we turned to Roger's literacy history, as he rem em bers it.

R: I was a little odd because I was in French immersion / . . . / the first things I read and they were all in French and I can read French fairly well and write French fairly well but / I couldn't in English until about grade three / one night I decided I had to teach myself / no one else was willing to teach me at school / or didn't w ant to teach French immersion students to read in English for some reason until a la ter time / didn 't w ant parents to teach them either I ... I bu t I never had th a t ambition until about grade three / when there were these Peanuts you know Charlie BrownV: Uhuh S laughter)R: / ... / My mother had read a few to me and I thought they were funny and I wanted to read them / and I looked a t them and I looked a t them // / so I started to piece together meaning from w hat I knew of French / uh I remember words when I see them by how they look so I don't read phonetically V: Sight vocabulary?R: I don't know if anyone reads phonetically but I read by sight / and I just eventually started

49


reading / it just happened / ... / I sort of had to it

was / otherwise I don't think I would have

learned (*laughter) / but once I could read I

realized how practical it was how useful it was

V: It had some practical value? (*laughter)

R: And I just start reading more and more

V: Ok / ... / What about writing? Did you write

stories when you were a child?

R: Oh writing / I don't know when I started

writing / I think I started writing things in

French / in about grade one / journals I think / I

used to write I used to draw a lot / but I would

draw comics and I would write in the comics I

guess that was the first writing I actually did I

think I started doing that in about grade four

V: What were the comics about?

R: They were about different things / I had a

character who was a doctor and I loved giving

people needles / but they weren't really great

cartoons that I drew / but he was sort of a

continuing character and I would write things

down what they were saying and what was going

on and that would probably be my first writing / voluntary writing

V: Do you do any now?

R: Not comics / ... / I write every now and then but

I find I am lost without my computer though / I

have a hard time with a pen / but I write plays

and things / just every now and then I think oh

that will work as a play and I begin writing

I recall hearing the first draft of the play at a writer's meeting about a year

and a half prior to this interview. Roger and his co-author presented the

script to the workshop, and while the content of the play received little

50


reading / it ju st happened / ... / I sort of had to it was / otherwise I don't think I would have learned (*laughter) / but once I could read I realized how practical it was how useful it was V: It had some practical value? (*laughter)R: And I ju st s ta rt reading more and more V: Ok / ... / What about writing? Did you write stories when you were a child?R: Oh writing / I don't know when I started writing / I think I started writing things in French / in about grade one / journals I think / I used to write I used to draw a lot / but I would draw comics and I would write in the comics I guess that was the first writing I actually did I think I started doing th a t in about grade four V: W hat were the comics about?R: They were about different things / I had a character who was a doctor and I loved giving people needles / but they weren't really great cartoons that I drew / but he was sort of a continuing character and I would write things down what they were saying and what was going on and that would probably be my first writing / voluntary writing V: Do you do any now?R: Not comics / ... / I write every now and then but I find I am lost without my computer though / I have a hard time with a pen / but I write plays and things / ju st every now and then I think oh th a t will work as a play and I begin writing

I recall hearing the first draft of the play a t a writer's meeting about a year

and a h a lf prior to this interview. Roger and his co-author presented the

script to the workshop, and while the content of the play received little

50


critical feedback, the characterizations of the authors when they read the

play were considered excellent by all present.

R: The one Cam and I wrote in grade nine / I've

revised that / it started as an assignment for an

English class but it was very short it was about

this English lord and lady who lived in this / oh

you've read it V: I've read subsequent versions of it

R: Yeah / I think I've made three different

versions of that / I've lengthened it and lengthened

it and lengthened it / and now I've got one that I'm

working on that is many many pages long already

it is still not done but it is the same play but its

been added to so much because I like adding to

things I've got all these ideas I think well this

character is probably insane (*laughter)

V: Can you tell me the plot? R: It is weird it is absurdist basically

V: Ok

R: I love absurdist things / it is about these people

who live on an island somewhere in the middle of

the ocean I don't know where / and they're a lord

and lady / and there's this one lady who doesn't act sane she is a little different / she has this son who

only she can see and she constantly refers to the son and everyone around her sort of brushes her

remarks aside but / although she is the one who acts insane she is the only sane one on the island V: Ok

R: And she's into biology I think / she makes organisms V: Oh a biochemist

R: A biochemist yeah and she has a husband who

51


critical feedback, the characterizations of the authors when they read the

play were considered excellent by all present.

R: The one Cam and I wrote in grade nine / I've revised th a t / i t started as an assignment for an English class bu t it was very short it was about this English lord and lady who lived in this / oh you’ve read itV: I’ve read subsequent versions of it R: Yeah / I think I've made three different versions of th a t / I've lengthened it and lengthened it and lengthened it / and now I've got one th a t I’m working on th a t is many many pages long already it is still not done but it is the same play but its been added to so much because I like adding to things I've got all these ideas I think well this character is probably insane (daughter)V: Can you tell me the plot?R: It is weird it is absurdist basically V: OkR: I love absurdist things / it is about these people who live on an island somewhere in the middle of the ocean I don't know where / and they’re a lord and lady / and there's this one lady who doesn't act sane she is a little different / she has th is son who only she can see and she constantly refers to the son and everyone around her sort of brushes her remarks aside but / although she is the one who acts insane she is the only sane one on the island V: OkR: And she's into biology I think / she makesorganismsV: Oh a biochemistR: A biochemist yeah and she has a husband who

51


is nuts / and the island is invaded every morning

by people from Spain / I'm not exactly sure exactly

where it is going / but there are spies

V: What about this invisible son is he real or is he

a figment of her

R: He will be real in the end but this is going to be

V: Ok / a happy resolution

R: You'll assume all through the play that he is

just a figment of her imagination but really he is

real and she is not making anything she says up

because he is real / the other characters are sort of

delusional they don't understand what is going on

they've sort of got

V: Alright

R: Because they have this thing about paradigms /

I think people are very interesting because people

just can't see things sometimes which seem so

obvious / /

V: Is it satire? R: Yeah I guess so almost

V: Satirical / the invisible son

R: The invisible son / she has done something to

her son because she is a biochemist V: And made him invisible R: Yes she has accidentally made him invisible / she is the biochemist and no one seems to believe

her except the spy who comes in from V: Not the cold?

R: No (*laughter)

R: From Spain / /

R: I read something somewhere about the world of an insane person seeming sane / there's something else I want to work on / I can't remember how it went / in an insane world a sane person would appear insane / it is that people who

52


is nuts / and the island is invaded every morning by people from Spain / I’m not exactly sure exactly where it is going / but there are spies V: What about this invisible son is he real or is he a figment of herR: He will be real in the end but this is going to be V: Ok / a happy resolutionR: You’ll assume all through the play th a t he is ju s t a figment of her imagination but really he is real and she is not making anything she says up because he is real / the other characters are sort of delusional they don't understand what is going on they’ve sort of got V: AlrightR: Because they have this thing about paradigms / I think people are very interesting because people ju s t can't see things sometimes which seem so obvious I ... I V: Is it satire?R: Yeah I guess so almostV: Satirical / the invisible sonR: The invisible son / she has done something toher son because she is a biochemistV: And made him invisibleR: Yes she has accidentally made him invisible /she is the biochemist and no one seems to believeher except the spy who comes in fromV: Not the cold?R: No (*laughter)R: From Spain I ... IR: I read something somewhere about the world of an insane person seeming sane / there's something else I want to work on / I can't remember how it went / in an insane world a sane person would appear insane / i t is tha t people who

52


act different really aren't that different they just

see things that other people don't

Whether or not Roger identifies with the invisible son or the insane mother

is not of particular relevance here, (literary critics may choose to work that

out), but his last line does seem to speak for him. In this school, he has

been an original since his arrival in grade nine, and only now, two years

later, does he have a social role beyond the rather conspicuous artistic set of

the school. To me at least, Roger has always been able to "see what other

people don't."

Despite what he said about talent, Roger has thought about what

makes a writer, and believes that environment is all important. In this

respect he reflects the popular opinion that the culture of the home is the

most important factor in the creation of an individual's sense of self.

R: Well it is true if you grow up in a very musical

home you grow up to be musical V: They do? R: Yes / I imagine it would be the same with writing / in homes where writing is very important / people that I actually know who are what I consider to be good writers / usually they have come from families who do a lot of writing / English teachers or people like that

He appears to recognize that culture influences how teachers evaluate

writing in school. Roger realizes that "who" the teacher is determines

"what" will be valued, regardless of the other more concrete, measurable

factors. Spelling, grammar, punctuation and sentence structures

notwithstanding, Roger clings to the hope that artistry will ultimately

53


act different really aren't th a t different they ju s t see things th a t other people don't

W hether or not Roger identifies with the invisible son or the insane mother

is not of particular relevance here, (literary critics may choose to work tha t

out), but his last line does seem to speak for him. In this school, he has

been an original since his arrival in grade nine, and only now, two years

later, does he have a social role beyond the rather conspicuous artistic set of

the school. To me at least, Roger has always been able to "see w hat other

people don't."

Despite what he said about talent, Roger has thought about w hat

makes a writer, and believes th a t environment is all im portant. In this

respect he reflects the popular opinion th a t the culture of the home is the

most im portant factor in the creation of an individual’s sense of self.

R: Well it is true if you grow up in a very musical home you grow up to be musical V: They do?R: Yes / I imagine it would be the same with writing / in homes where writing is very important / people tha t I actually know who are what I consider to be good w riters / usually they have come from families who do a lot of writing /English teachers or people like that

He appears to recognize th a t culture influences how teachers evaluate

writing in school. Roger realizes tha t "who" the teacher is determ ines

"what" will be valued, regardless of the other more concrete, m easurable

factors. Spelling, gram m ar, punctuation and sentence structures

notwithstanding, Roger clings to the hope th a t artistry will ultim ately

53


prevail, even in marking.

R: A lot depends on who the teacher is (*laughter)

V: Oh I think so but can you describe that?

R: Well some teachers look very technically at

things / some teachers look very artistically /

teachers are concerned / / with the criteria that is

set out on the marking guide / which I guess is

only fair V: Sometimes that's fair

R: That's when they're told what to write and how

write / but I think that my feeling in general is

that if you write something that's really good

really gripping or I can't think of the word but if

you do / somehow an English teacher will be

forced to give you a good mark / because it seems to

transcend that criteria but I don't know that for

sure / ... / I guess it depends on the teacher /... / yeah / it would depend on the teacher's training too / ... / Well I think it is hard judging most art V: There is a subjective element R: But you can look at the / for instance brush

strokes on a painting but you have to look at other

things too which is difficult to judge V: Yes / so it depends on who you are and where

you are R: All of those things

Roger understands the complexity of experience, and sometimes this

overwhelms him. His own writing confounds him because of his

compulsion to rewrite, or to pre-write extensively before he begins a paper.

This segment of the conversation interested me because of his insight

regarding marking writing in school. Without reading the literature on

marking, he identifies the variables teachers must consider when they

54


prevail, even in marking.

R: A lot depends on who the teacher is (*laughter)V: Oh I think so but can you describe that?R: Well some teachers look very technically a t things / some teachers look very artistically / teachers are concerned / / with the criteria th a t is set out on the marking guide / which I guess is only fairV: Sometimes tha t’s fairR: That's when they're told what to write and how write / but I think th a t my feeling in general is th a t if you write something that's really good really gripping or I can't think of the word but if you do / somehow an English teacher will be forced to give you a good mark / because it seems to transcend that criteria but I don’t know tha t for sure I ... 11 guess i t depends on the teacher /... / yeah / it would depend on the teacher’s training too I ... I Well I think it is hard judging most a r t V: There is a subjective element R: But you can look a t the / for instance brush strokes on a painting but you have to look a t other things too which is difficult to judge V: Yes / so it depends on who you are and where you areR: All of those things

Roger understands the complexity of experience, and sometimes this

overwhelms him. His own writing confounds him because of his

compulsion to rewrite, or to pre-write extensively before he begins a paper.

This segment of the conversation interested me because of his insight

regarding marking writing in school. W ithout reading the literature on

m arking, he identifies the variables teachers m ust consider when they

54


mark students' writing. He acknowledges that subjectivity is inherent in

any process of judging art. As a teacher, I might have mentioned again

that not all writing is art, but Roger's idealism and insight are too

convincing for me to be cynical. It is ironic, given Roger's analysis of

writing, that he is considered a weak English student by many of his

teachers.

Roger claims that he is "basically dissatisfied" and says, "I see

things and I think well that could be like this / it could be better / writing is

just sort of a struggle for me /... / it might be because it is so imperfect / it

bothers me there are all these things that are jarring." Having observed

Roger writing in-class assignments, I know that what he says is accurate.

The struggle he describe relates to his concept of writing as art.

A keen reader, Roger recognizes that his habit teaches him many

things he would not learn in school.

R: I read a fair amount / / / I read a lot of magazines and newspaper articles encyclopaedia / I read novels / I know people that consume novels I don't consume them / / I'm not a very good student / ... / I have what is the word I am looking for / a very casual attitude about school / blase that's it V: Blase / there is a good word R: I have a blase attitude about school / I don't know why but ever since I was little I've thought oh well it's just school V: It's just school R: I have that attitude about a lot of things I guess V: Yet drama is a very disciplined activity R: Yeah I do a fair amount of it / / / I think it is just a problem I have with life in general / I get

55


m ark students’ writing. He acknowledges that subjectivity is inherent in

any process of judging art. As a teacher, I might have mentioned again

th a t not all writing is art, but Roger's idealism and insight are too

convincing for me to be cynical. It is ironic, given Roger's analysis of

writing, that he is considered a weak English student by many of his

teachers.

Roger claims th a t he is "basically dissatisfied" and says, "I see

things and I think well that could be like this / it could be better / writing is

ju s t sort of a struggle for me /... / it might be because it is so imperfect / it

bothers me there are all these things that are jarring." Having observed

Roger writing in-class assignments, I know that w hat he says is accurate.

The struggle he describe relates to his concept of writing as art.

A keen reader, Roger recognizes th a t his habit teaches him many

things he would not learn in school.

R: I read a fair amount I I I I read a lot of magazines and newspaper articles encyclopaedia / I read novels / I know people that consume novels I don’t consume them / / I'm not a very good student /. . . / 1 have what is the word I am looking for / a very casual attitude about school / blase that's itV: Blase / there is a good word R: I have a blase attitude about school / 1 don't know why but ever since I was little I’ve thought oh well it's ju st school V: I t’s ju s t schoolR: I have that attitude about a lot of things I guess V: Yet drama is a very disciplined activity R: Yeah I do a fair amount of i t I I I I th ink it is ju st a problem I have with life in general / I get

55


blase about things

My understanding of Roger as a student would not include the word

"blase". It is true that he has a somewhat flexible notion of due dates, and

his extra-curricular activities have a way of intruding into his school life,

but he is not uninvolved in school work. In his journal he writes,

As with all things in my life I am having a great

deal of difficulty managing time, being organized

and other such important things. I am naturally

organizationally impaired ... If I were to

experience this semester again I most certainly

not get involved in so many other activities. These

last few months have been very stressful, making

it more difficult for me to concentrate on my work.

He does possess a refined sensitivity to the climate of the classroom; he

reads people and social situations well, and often diffuses conflict in class

discussions by his very reasoned, and reasonable, approach to the varieties

of discourse in the classroom. His capacity for responding to others which

makes him distinct from many of his classmates.

R: / / / I guess my writing is different / ... / well

I'm not really an actor / but it is part of being that

kind of a person / knowing what your audience wants / or not what they want but what is called for / ... / I do believe that different situations call

for different / different things from me / not that

I'm a particularly tactful person but I have a hard

time with people who aren't very tactful / who are sort of barbarian / / maybe that is why I am so blase / because I know Ill never be the perfect student / so I just don't even try / I don't know /... / I like learning for the sake of learning

56


blase about things

My understanding of Roger as a student would not include the word

"blase". It is true th a t he has a somewhat flexible notion of due dates, and

his extra-curricular activities have a way of intruding into his school life,

but he is not uninvolved in school work. In his journal he writes,

As w ith a ll things in m y life I am h av ing a great deal o f d ifficu lty m anag ing tim e, being organized and o ther such im portan t things. I a m natura lly organizationally im paired ... I f I were to experience this sem ester again I m ost certainly not get involved in so m any other activities. These last few m onths have been very stressfu l, m aking it more d ifficu lt fo r me to concentrate on m y work.

He does possess a refined sensitivity to the climate of the classroom; he

reads people and social situations well, and often diffuses conflict in class

discussions by his very reasoned, and reasonable, approach to the varieties

of discourse in the classroom. His capacity for responding to others which

makes him distinct from many of his classmates.

R: / / / I guess my writing is different / ... / wellI'm not really an actor / but i t is part of being th a tkind of a person / knowing what your audiencewants / or not what they want but what is calledfor /... / I do believe th a t different situations callfor different / different things from me / not thatI'm a particularly tactful person but I have a hardtime with people who aren 't very tactful / who aresort of barbarian / / maybe th a t is why I am soblase / because I know 111 never be the perfectstudent / so I just don't even try / I don't know/... / 1 like learning for the sake of learning

56


Roger's talk is captivating, and so is most of his writing, despite what he

has to say about it. For example, he wrote much of his own dialogue for a

major dramatic school production, and won favourable reviews. Much of

Roger's involvement in school may seem dominated by his mastery of the

dramatic, but I think his approach to living is authentic. The sensitivity he

possesses in social situations allows him to adopt quite eccentric behaviours

without censure within the classroom. Although he does not frequent all of

the social venues in the school, he is able to move between very different

social groups during class. He is respected.

Cassie is another student who demonstrates this kind of sensitivity,

but her behaviour in class in never dramatic. Quiet, almost shy, but always

observant, she uses reading and journal writing to work out academic and

personal issues, as well as to maintain her teacher's attention.

C. Cassie

If all the world is like a text then everyone becomes a reader (and an author). And the question arises whose reading, whose interpretation, is the correct one (van Manen, 1990, p.39).

Until she appeared in my class in grade eleven, I had not met Cassie,

nor could I remember ever having seen her before in school. She began the

year as a very shy student, never offering a comment unless invited to

specifically, and taking a passive role in group activities too. An observer,

Cassie devotes class time to getting "stuff' down on paper or reading. She

distinguished herself by selecting to read the very largest book offered for

novel study; only two others joined her, and just one of them actually

finished the book. Cassie is very pretty but makes references in her journal

57


Roger's talk is captivating, and so is most of his writing, despite w hat he

has to say about it. For example, he wrote much of his own dialogue for a

major dram atic school production, and won favourable reviews. Much of

Roger's involvement in school may seem dominated by his m astery of the

dramatic, but I think his approach to living is authentic. The sensitivity he

possesses in social situations allows him to adopt quite eccentric behaviours

without censure w ithin the classroom. Although he does not frequent all of

the social venues in the school, he is able to move between very different

social groups during class. He is respected.

Cassie is another student who demonstrates th is kind of sensitivity,

but her behaviour in class in never dramatic. Quiet, alm ost shy, bu t always

observant, she uses reading and journal writing to work out academic and

personal issues, as well as to m aintain her teacher's attention.

C. Cassie

If all the world is like a text then everyone becomes a reader (and an author). And the question arises whose reading, whose interpretation, is the correct one (van Manen, 1990, p.39).

Until she appeared in my class in grade eleven, I had not m et Cassie,

nor could I remember ever having seen her before in school. She began the

year as a very shy student, never offering a comment unless invited to

specifically, and taking a passive role in group activities too. An observer,

Cassie devotes class tim e to getting "stuff' down on paper or reading. She

distinguished herself by selecting to read the very largest book offered for

novel study; only two others joined her, and ju st one of them actually

finished the book. Cassie is very pretty bu t makes references in her journal

57


to being self-conscious about her appearance. During the year, she got

braces, which were a mixed blessing, unpleasant for her, but necessary to

straighten her teeth. What seems true of the braces seems to apply to other

things in her life as well. Things have not always been easy for Cassie.

However, by the end of the grade eleven year, a subtle change took place.

Cassie began volunteering to read in author's chair, without any pressure

from anyone.

To begin the interview, we discussed again what I was doing, and I

asked her to pick a name for herself. "You have such a lovely, original

name in real life, pick something like that," I said. Of all the students, only

Cassie, in the end, chose her own pseudonym. We met during a lunch

hour, and the talk was easy.

C: Uhm / / / uhm / / / I know my mom she used to read to me and stuff and when I got older I loved to read so I think it was an early thing you know / I learned from her reading to me / I improved

through school and reading at home / because I read like lots / all the time / / / I liked the fairy

tales / that kind of thing V: What do you like to read now? C: Mostly the abnormal kinds of things / (**laughter) / you know Anne Rice / she writes about vampires and witches and stuff / like it's not crazy stuff that she writes / she kinda writes about philosophy and history cults and that kind of stuff / I find that interesting V: Last semester you read that big fat one / The Fountainhead A: Yeah

59


to being self-conscious about her appearance. During the year, she got

braces, which were a mixed blessing, unpleasant for her, but necessary to

straighten her teeth. W hat seems true of the braces seems to apply to other

things in her life as well. Things have not always been easy for Cassie.

However, by the end of the grade eleven year, a subtle change took place.

Cassie began volunteering to read in author’s chair, w ithout any pressure

from anyone.

To begin the interview, we discussed again w hat I was doing, and I

asked her to pick a name for herself. "You have such a lovely, original

name in real life, pick something like that," I said. Of all the students, only

Cassie, in the end, chose her own pseudonym. We m et during a lunch

hour, and the talk was easy.

C: Uhm I I I uhm I I I I know my mom she used to read to me and stuff and when I got older I loved to read so I th ink it was an early thing you know / I learned from her reading to me / I improved through school and reading a t home / because I read like lots / all the time I I I I liked the fairy tales / th a t kind of thing V: What do you like to read now?C: Mostly the abnormal kinds of things /(**laughter) / you know Anne Rice / she writes about vampires and witches and stuff / like it's not crazy stuff th a t she writes / she kinda writes about philosophy and history cults and tha t kind of stuff / I find th a t interestingV: Last sem ester you read th a t big fat one / TheFountainheadA: Yeah

58


Cassie beams at the mention of the book. We discuss that it really had not

taken her long to finish it, and that she has since read more by Ayn Rand.

"She is not as good as Anne Rice," she says. It was the first time in my life

I'd ever discussed those two authors in the same conversation. She has

other ideas about reading.

C: Well I think that if you haven't started reading

when you're young I don't think you'll ever /

because you've got to get attached to reading /

cause you won't have that feeling / you won't be

able to read like hard stuff / The Fountainhead / to

me that was hard and I can't imagine someone

who didn't read reading that / they couldn't

Closely linked to her ideas about reading, are her experiences writing.

Both seemed to have developed around the same time.

C: / / / Probably early grades like grade three or

whatever / we would have to write a story or

something / I remember writing this chapter book

called Sandy Beach / and it was a mystery / and I

was so proud of myself writing that V: Did you have writing workshop?

A: Yeah I think so / In grade three and in grade

eight too / we had like / each Friday in the afternoon we wrote / uh / he gave / our teacher he

gave us uh / information on how to self-edit how to get other people to edit / subjects you could write about / and you'd just go someplace in the school where it was quiet and pick something you wanted to write about / ... / I was writing on my own time /

like I was writing / I just got ideas / I like to write / I don't know if it would be good for author's corner

59


Cassie beams a t the mention of the book. We discuss th a t i t really had not

taken her long to finish it, and that she has since read more by Ayn Rand.

"She is not as good as Anne Rice," she says. It was the first time in my life

I'd ever discussed those two authors in the same conversation. She has

other ideas about reading.

C: Well I think th a t if you haven't started reading when you’re young I don't th ink you'll ever / because you've got to get attached to reading / cause you won’t have that feeling / you won’t be able to read like hard stuff / The Fountainhead / to me th a t was hard and I can't imagine someone who didn't read reading th a t / they couldn’t

Closely linked to her ideas about reading, are her experiences writing.

Both seemed to have developed around the same time.

C: / / / Probably early grades like grade three orwhatever / we would have to write a story orsomething / I remember writing this chapter bookcalled Sandy Beach / and it was a mystery / and Iwas so proud of myself writing tha tV: Did you have writing workshop?A: Yeah I think so / In grade three and in gradeeight too / we had like / each Friday in theafternoon we wrote / uh / he gave / our teacher hegave us uh / information on how to self-edit how toget other people to edit / subjects you could writeabout / and you'd ju st go someplace in the schoolwhere it was quiet and pick something you wantedto write about / ... / I was writing on my own time /like I was writing / 1 just got ideas / 1 like to write /I don't know if it would be good for author's comer

59


but I just wrote / like I don't know if other people

think it is silly what I write or find it interesting /

like I wrote two different stories then that I didn't

get to finish / like I wrote two chapters or what I

thought were chapters / / /

V: Yes C: One was like / I don't know where I got this

idea / it had to do with that thing going on in

Serbia and all that / and it happened that my dad

and I go down to this island that is ours and we

camp there during the summer and I have this

ferret for a pet and all this / I was walking

through an alley and people came up an kidnapped me / so I was like kidnapped / overseas

to Serbia / I didn't really finish it but I was on this plane and I met another girl like me V: Is this before this island? C: Yeah just before we were going to the island I

got kidnapped V: Now do you mean your step-dad? C: No / my real dad / /

Cassie currently lives with her mother and her step-father, and siblings.

She has a good relationship with both parents, and is especially close to her

mother. A new baby in the family has also brought special joy into Cassie's

life, she says. She writes about the baby often.

C: So and then another story is I was a black girl / I wrote it from the view of a black slave V: Mmm C: And I met my master's daughter / no black slave had has ever seen her cause no one was allowed to see her / she wasn't allowed to be shown to the black race / so I stumbled upon her to see

63


but I ju st wrote / like I don't know if other people think it is silly w hat I write or find it interesting / like I wrote two different stories then th a t I didn't get to finish / like I wrote two chapters or what I thought were chapters I I I V: YesC: One was like / I don’t know where I got this idea / it had to do w ith th a t thing going on in Serbia and all tha t / and it happened th a t my dad and I go down to th is island tha t is ours and we camp there during the summer and I have this ferret for a pet and all this / I was walking through an alley and people came up an kidnapped me / so I was like kidnapped / overseas to Serbia / I didn't really finish it but I was on this plane and I met another girl like me V: Is this before this island?C: Yeah ju st before we were going to the island I got kidnappedV: Now do you m ean your step-dad?C: No / my real dad / .. /

Cassie currently lives with her mother and her step-father, and siblings.

She has a good relationship with both parents, and is especially close to her

mother. A new baby in the family has also brought special joy into Cassie's

life, she says. She writes about the baby often.

C: So and then another story is I was a black girl /I wrote it from the view of a black slave V: MmmC: And I met my m aster's daughter / no black slave had has ever seen her cause no one was allowed to see her / she wasn't allowed to be shown to the black race / so I stumbled upon her to see

60


her on her birthday / you see everyone on her

birthday all the slaves got a holiday V: Yes A: So I stumbled upon her crying because she was

frustrated her parents were forcing her to be

friends with the plantation daughters and stuff /

and she didn't like that and she couldn't

understand how her father could abuse other

races / like she knew about them but she couldn't

understand it and it caused all the troubles and

stuff and she was upset and off crying by herself /

V: Did you do research?

A: Yeah it's hard

Cassie acknowledges that she has tried to write novels but finds it hard to

finish them with the interference of homework, dancing and helping

around the home. She gets three or four chapters done and then is

overwhelmed by the logistics of finishing a book, but also says that she

prefers to write long stories.

V: It seems kind of silly to ask you this question

after all this, but I will / are you a writer? C: I think if you enjoy reading and if you enjoy just writing itself you do it / the more you do it the better you get at it / you know like / you may not become a writer / you know like an author but you may improve / be able to write better V: Mmm / / / What makes people write? C: To express themselves / to get their feelings down on paper / I don't know / just freedom I guess in a way / just letting your imagination go V: The older we get the worse we are at that it seems to me

61


her on her b irthday / you see everyone on her birthday all the slaves got a holiday V: YesA: So I stum bled upon her crying because she was frustrated her parents were forcing h er to be friends with the plantation daughters and stuff / and she didn 't like tha t and she couldn't understand how her father could abuse other races / like she knew about them bu t she couldn't understand i t and it caused all the troubles and stuff and she was upset and off crying by herself /V: Did you do research?A: Yeah it's hard

Cassie acknowledges th a t she has tried to write novels but finds i t hard to

finish them with the interference of homework, dancing and helping

around the home. She gets three or four chapters done and then is

overwhelmed by the logistics of finishing a book, bu t also says th a t she

prefers to w rite long stories.

V: It seems kind of silly to ask you this question after all this, but I will / are you a writer?C: I think if you enjoy reading and if you enjoy ju st writing itself you do it / the more you do it the better you get a t i t / you know like / you may not become a w riter / you know like an author but you may improve / be able to write better V: Mmm / / / W hat makes people write?C: To express themselves / to get their feelings down on paper / I don't know / ju st freedom I guess in a way / ju st letting your im agination go V: The older we get the worse we are a t th a t it seems to me

61


C: It seems easier to let your feelings out on paper

than it is to talk it out

V: I wonder why that is

C: Because it seems more real on paper / well I

don't know/ maybe it's just harder to express

yourself to a real person / when you face them /

like we're doing right now V: Yeah C: It would be easier just to write this down

I should listen to this carefully, as a reminder of the value of the journal in

maintaining regular, meaningful contact with students. Especially with a

student like Cassie, journals are frequently the most useful forum for

establishing contact. Time restricts the opportunities for real conversations

with students, and so do other social pressures (Sweigart, 1991). Often,

what a student writes about in a journal is not the subject of casual

conversation. Thoughtful written responses from the teacher encourages

and develops a relationship. Particularly with a shy student like Cassie, I

know that regular written communication is very important. She could

easily slip into the background of the classroom activity without it.

C: You can't just become a writer by writing one

story / you have to learn how to write / and if you don't have much of an imagination you won't become much of a writer / it depends on whether you like reading / lots of people who don't do well in English don't read (** laughter) V: Yeah you're right / How do you know when you're reading something that it is good? C: Oh I can't put it down / I stay up way past my bedtime curfew (** laughter)

62


C: It seems easier to le t your feelings out on paper than it is to talk it out V: I wonder why th a t isC: Because it seems more real on paper / well I don't know/ maybe it's ju s t harder to express yourself to a real person / when you face them / like we're doing right now V: YeahC: It would be easier ju s t to write th is down

I should listen to this carefully, as a reminder of the value of the journal in

m aintaining regular, meaningful contact with students. Especially with a

student like Cassie, journals are frequently the most useful forum for

establishing contact. Time restricts the opportunities for real conversations

with students, and so do other social pressures (Sweigart, 1991). Often,

what a student writes about in a journal is not the subject of casual

conversation. Thoughtful written responses from the teacher encourages

and develops a relationship. Particularly with a shy student like Cassie, I

know th a t regular w ritten communication is very important. She could

easily slip into the background of the classroom activity without it.

C: You can’t just become a writer by writing one story / you have to learn how to write / and if you don't have much of an imagination you won't become much of a w riter / it depends on whether you like reading / lots of people who don't do well in English don’t read (** laughter)V: Yeah you’re right / How do you know when you're reading something that it is good?C: Oh I can't put it down / I stay up way past my bedtime curfew (** laughter)

62


V: Yeah that's a concrete indicator / what does it

do to you?

C: Uh / well I'm like right in the book / I'm not

just the reader / I am actually a person watching

this thing happen V: Gee that's an interesting way to describe it / not

just the reader C: The meaning / it comes from the person / if

you're really starting to get interested in it you're

not thinking of it as a book / you're thinking of it as

more than just a book / it is a real experience

V: A real experience C: Yeah / / That's why lots of times I read books

more than just once / I go back to it / you can't wait

to get back into another book / I've read those

Babysitter clubs books over / I don't like them now though / they're too corny for me now

V: Maybe it is like music that brings back experiences C: That reminds me of / about two weeks ago / I found old tapes / a whole collection / I had such

nostalgia / it took me back to grade five / I don't have the same feelings as I had then / and I think back and say oh god what was I thinking / the music is the same but I've changed / /

Recognizing the extent and depth of change in our lives recurs in all these

conversations, whether in regard to tastes in books or music, or

relationships. We discuss music for a long time, and decide the emotional

experience can be very similar to reading a good book. I also rambled on

about reading theory; there is no way to keep a truly pedantic person down.

Like Jackie, Cassie is a dedicated journal writer. She said, "With the

journal there is a lot more freedom / than in essay writing you have to

63


V: Yeah that's a concrete indicator / w hat does it do to you?C: Uh / well I'm like right in the book / I'm not ju st the reader / 1 am actually a person watching this th ing happenV: Gee that's an interesting way to describe it / not ju st the readerC: The meaning / it comes from the person / if you’re really starting to get interested in it you're not thinking of it as a book / you’re thinking of it as more than ju st a book / it is a real experience V: A real experienceC: Yeah I ... I That's why lots of times I read books more than just once / 1 go back to it / you can’t wait to get back into another book / I've read those Babysitter clubs books over / 1 don't like them now though / they're too corny for me now V: Maybe it is like music that brings back experiencesC: T hat reminds me of / about two weeks ago / I found old tapes / a whole collection / I had such nostalgia / it took me back to grade five / I don't have the same feelings as I had then / and I think back and say oh god what was I thinking / the music is the same but I’ve changed I ... I

Recognizing the extent and depth of change in our lives recurs in all these

conversations, w hether in regard to tastes in books or music, or

relationships. We discuss music for a long time, and decide the emotional

experience can be very similar to reading a good book. I also rambled on

about reading theory; there is no way to keep a truly pedantic person down.

Like Jackie, Cassie is a dedicated journal writer. She said, "With the

journal there is a lot more freedom / than in essay writing you have to

63


follow that format and you can't like / you can't express your feelings." As

her teacher, I know what I gain from spending extra hours reading and

responding to her expressive writing. I get to know her and what she

values. She gets to know the same about me, although until I did this work,

I had never thought about journal writing in those terms. The thinking

student would not have to read many teacher written comments before she

could determine what is valued in the classroom, at least by the teacher .

An important part of the informal curriculum is the relationships which

evolve in the exchanges between teachers and students through journal

writing and comments on drafts during the workshop process (Ulichny &

Watson-Gegeo, 1989). Those interactions result in genuinely personal and

individual instruction. The responses written as commentary on a

student's journal entry, the check marks made in margins to indicate

agreement, the questions asked to clarify an idea during a conference,

contribute to the relationships with students which I value and consider

most important in classroom learning. All of these brief messages

instruct, but also build the pedagogical relationship.

Cassie and I discussed whether she was satisfied with her writing,

and her assessment of her work varied according to the assignment. She

said, "I don't know if I'll ever be good enough to become an author you

know but I think I'm better than a lot of other people / from my point of view

right / compared to other people." To her, the best assignments are "where

we get to tell our own stories / or write from a point of view that we pick." I

ask her about reading a selection from her journal during author's chair.

She had signed up second, something unusual for her. Written as a

servant to the Thane of Cawdor, her letter describes events on the night of

King Duncan's murder in "Macbeth." The servant, Portia, smitten with a

young minstrel, gets so drunk at the party honouring King Duncan that 64


follow th a t format and you can't like / you can't express your feelings." As

her teacher, I know what I gain from spending extra hours reading and

responding to her expressive writing. I get to know her and w hat she

values. She gets to know the same about me, although until I did this work,

I had never thought about journal writing in those terms. The thinking

student would not have to read many teacher written comments before she

could determine what is valued in the classroom, at least by the teacher .

An im portant part of the informal curriculum is the relationships which

evolve in the exchanges between teachers and students through journal

writing and comments on drafts during the workshop process (Ulichny &

Watson-Gegeo, 1989). Those interactions resu lt in genuinely personal and

individual instruction. The responses written as commentary on a

student's journal entry, the check marks made in margins to indicate

agreement, the questions asked to clarify an idea during a conference,

contribute to the relationships with students which I value and consider

most im portant in classroom learning. All of these brief messages

instruct, b u t also build the pedagogical relationship.

Cassie and I discussed whether she was satisfied w ith her writing,

and her assessm ent of her work varied according to the assignment. She

said, "I don't know if I'll ever be good enough to become an author you

know bu t I think I'm better than a lot of other people / from my point of view

right / compared to other people." To her, the best assignments are "where

we get to tell our own stories / or write from a point of view th a t we pick." I

ask her about reading a selection from her journal during author's chair.

She had signed up second, something unusual for her. W ritten as a

servant to the Thane of Cawdor, her letter describes events on the night of

King Duncan's m urder in "Macbeth." The servant, Portia, sm itten with a

young m instrel, gets so drunk a t the party honouring King Duncan th a t64


she passes out, but not before she notices some strange goings on in the

castle. The following excerpts from that upgraded, four page journal entry

give some indication of the tone of the piece:

Macbeth was acting nervous and edgy and snapped at

servants. He even stayed in his chamber most of the

evening ... Lady Macbeth whom you know is too

controlling for her own good ... and not at all kind to

servants until tonight. Well! She surprised us all by

telling us to have a great time and drink as much as

we wanted (which I admit appealed to me) ... This

was fine with me, what's a party without a drink ...

You know that cute lute player I wrote to you about?

He was even more drunk than me; we danced so much, and he played so much, he broke the strings on his lute. He invited me into his hut but I thought it was too soon, but I invited him into my room instead

... I dreamt such strange things that night ... of a bloody dagger floating in the air, of bloody hands ...I

was awoke by a bell ... The horror and the terror .. Alas, I must go. I cannot be caught writing this.

Portia

Explaining why that piece of writing was not only a pleasure to write, but

also a good piece of writing, Cassie said,

I just felt that character was real / there was humour in it / it wasn't just totally serious / and it felt like it could have been part of "Macbeth" / been in there / if you have trouble thinking of something else then it is easier to be told what to write but if you have more than one idea it is better to be able to choose

65


she passes out, but not before she notices some strange goings on in the

castle. The following excerpts from th a t upgraded, four page journal entry

give some indication of the tone of the piece:

M acbeth w as acting nervous and edgy a n d snapped a t servants. H e even stayed in h is cham ber m ost o f the evening ... L a d y M acbeth w hom you know is too controlling fo r her own good ... and no t a t a ll k in d to servants u n til tonight. W ell! She su rp rised us a ll by te lling us to have a great tim e and d r in k as m uch as we w anted (which I a d m it appealed to me) ... T h is w as fine w ith me, w ha t's a party w ith o u t a d r in k ...You know th a t cute lu te p layer I wrote to you abou t?H e was even more d ru n k th a n me; we danced so m uch, a n d he played so m uch, he broke the strings on h is lute. H e invited m e into his h u t bu t I though t it w as too soon, but I inv ited h im into m y room instead ... I d ream t such strange th ings th a t n i g h t ... o f a bloody dagger floating in the air, o f bloody h a n d s ...I w as awoke by a b e ll ... The horror a n d the terror ..A las, I m u s t go. I cannot be caught w riting this.

Portia

Explaining why th a t piece of writing was not only a pleasure to write, but

also a good piece of writing, Cassie said,

I ju s t felt th a t character was real / there was humour in it / i t wasn't ju s t totally serious / and it felt like it could have been part of "Macbeth" / been in there / if you have trouble thinking of something else then it is easier to be told what to write but if you have more than one idea it is better to be able to choose

65


Once again, feeling that the writing was "real" made all the difference in

determining the value of the work. Literature must engage the reader and

the writer - that seems like such an obvious axiom, but I need to hear it

from someone I know to really understand it.

In class, Cassie participates in group discussions, but often chooses

to work on projects by herself. A creative project she did with a partner

early in the semester took an ugly turn; both claimed the other had not

contributed equally to the work. The product was successful, but the

process had been fraught with interpersonal problems. With this in mind,

I asked her specifically about collaboration.

A: I dunno / I don't really like discussing with

other people because sometimes their ideas are not

what I want V: Yes A: And then if I go into a group I feel I have to

take some of their ideas / I don't necessarily like

that sometimes / I like to be able to use / some

people just don't like work / so it depends on who

you are / / / It's hard to say / my life

An extended discussion of personal upheaval and issues in her own life

shed some light on her concern about people who do not do their share of

the work and for characters who are faced with any form of injustice.

Cassie has coped with some difficult personal experiences, and recognizes

the value of her mother's constant support. Like her mother, Cassie values

perseverance.

V: Do you think there are certain personality types who are just inclined to be readers or writers?

66


Once again, feeling that the writing was "real" made all the difference in

determining the value of the work. Literature must engage the reader and

the w riter - th a t seems like such an obvious axiom, bu t I need to hear it

from someone I know to really understand it.

In class, Cassie participates in group discussions, bu t often chooses

to work on projects by herself. A creative project she did with a partner

early in the semester took an ugly turn; both claimed the other had not

contributed equally to the work. The product was successful, but the

process had been fraught with interpersonal problems. With this in mind,

I asked her specifically about collaboration.

A: I dunno / I don't really like discussing with other people because sometimes their ideas are not w hat I want V: YesA: And then if I go into a group I feel I have to take some of their ideas / I don't necessarily like th a t sometimes / I like to be able to use / some people just don't like work / so it depends on who you are I I I It's hard to say / my life

An extended discussion of personal upheaval and issues in her own life

shed some light on her concern about people who do not do their share of

the work and for characters who are faced with any form of injustice.

Cassie has coped with some difficult personal experiences, and recognizes

the value of her mother's constant support. Like her mother, Cassie values

perseverance.

V: Do you think there are certain personality types who are ju st inclined to be readers or writers?

66


C: Yeah / if you're impatient you won't be able to

stick to a book / if you can't read something if it's

just about characters / doesn't have excitement / if

you can't read that you won't be able to / ... /

V: So is there a particular kind of personality that

becomes a writer?

C: Well yeah / first of all if you can't read you can't

write / so / and if you don't have an imagination

you can't become a writer V: That internal world / or whatever you're going

to use to describe it / or patience or discipline / you

are talking about something internal?

A: And it also depends on what you gather from

around you / it is like that one story that I told you

about I got from the news / I gathered that from

the news [reference to her Serbia story] V: Right C: But the personality was my own creation / ... /

but there's more than just one thing that can make you a writer / well like personality or whatever / you can read a book / that pretty well covers it

Cassie claims reading as her personal space, and places great emphasis on

its value in her life. Reading, and to some extent writing, have provided a

refuge for her, but also provided a medium for development. She

recognizes the inherent link between both forms of literacy, and often uses

similar interpretive strategies to understand what is happening in her real

life. Even though she is not recognized as a strong English student, she

has found uses for language arts skills promoted in language arts classes

which transcend the arena of earning grades. Aaron, in contrast,

professes no special love for either reading or writing, even though what he

writes has given him social popularity in class. Students think his stories 67


C: Yeah / if you’re impatient you won't be able to stick to a book / if you can’t read something if it’s ju s t about characters / doesn’t have excitement / if you can’t read tha t you won't be able to / ... /V: So is there a particular kind of personality that becomes a writer?C: Well yeah / first of all if you can't read you can't write / so / and if you don't have an imagination you can’t become a writerV: That internal world / or whatever you’re going to use to describe it / or patience or discipline / you are talking about something internal?A: And it also depends on what you gather from around you / it is like tha t one story th a t I told you about I got from the news / 1 gathered th a t from the news [reference to her Serbia story]V: RightC: But the personality was my own creation I ... I but there’s more than ju st one thing th a t can make you a writer / well like personality or whatever / you can read a book / tha t pretty well covers it

Cassie claims reading as her personal space, and places great emphasis on

its value in her life. Reading, and to some extent writing, have provided a

refuge for her, but also provided a medium for development. She

recognizes the inherent link between both forms of literacy, and often uses

similar interpretive strategies to understand what is happening in her real

life. Even though she is not recognized as a strong English student, she

has found uses for language arts skills promoted in language arts classes

which transcend the arena of earning grades. Aaron, in contrast,

professes no special love for either reading or writing, even though what he

writes has given him social popularity in class. Students think his stories67


are funny, and they love watching him present.

D. Aaron

Aaron's favoured author is Hunter Thompson:

It is always a bad business to try to explain yourself on paper - at least not all at once - but when you work as a journalist and sign your name in black ink on white paper above everything you write, that is the business you're in, good or bad. Buy the ticket, take the ride (Thompson, 1989, p.10).

I met with Aaron during a lunch hour and we discussed again what I was

doing. Later, I learned from another of his teachers that he told her I was

writing a book and that he was helping me. Apparently he seemed pleased.

He is in the learning assistance program and has been since the beginning

of high school. In grade eight he was tested by the school and his parents

were told then that he had a learning disability. Aaron's parents rejected

the option of sending him to an alternate high school and chose rather to

have him attend a regular high school. Their primary reasons were social

ones. Aaron's considerable success in high school indicates that his

parents made a wise decision. Despite his success, Aaron does not wax

poetic about English class.

A: No / / I don't write at all / / only when I'm told V: Ok / / How do you think people learn how to write?

A: Through school they learn to write / / and like

from their own experiences and stuff / / they can teach themselves to write. V: Uh / / what are the easiest things to write? A: Mmm / / things that have happened probably / / because you know about them and stuff / / things

ss


are funny, and they love watching him present.

D. AaronAaron's favoured author is H unter Thompson:

It is always a bad business to try to explain yourself on paper - a t least not all a t once - but when you work as a journalist and sign your name in black ink on white paper above everything you write, th a t is the business you're in, good or bad. Buy the ticket, take the ride (Thompson, 1989,p. 10).

I met w ith Aaron during a lunch hour and we discussed again w hat I was

doing. Later, I learned from another of his teachers th a t he told her I was

writing a book and th a t he was helping me. Apparently he seemed pleased.

He is in the learning assistance program and has been since the beginning

of high school. In grade eight he was tested by the school and his parents

were told then that he had a learning disability. Aaron's parents rejected

the option of sending him to an alternate high school and chose ra ther to

have him attend a regular high school. Their prim ary reasons were social

ones. Aaron's considerable success in high school indicates th a t his

parents made a wise decision. Despite his success, Aaron does not wax

poetic about English class.

A: No / / I don't write a t all / / only when I’m told V: Ok / / How do you think people learn how to write?A: Through school they learn to write / / and like from their own experiences and stuff / / they can teach themselves to write.V: Uh / / w hat are the easiest things to write?A: Mmm / / things th a t have happened probably // because you know about them and stuff / / things

68


that you know about are the easiest things to

write. V: Do you mean things you have done?

A: Yup / / / V: You know a lot about skate boarding / would it

be easy to write about skate boarding?

A: Yup

V: That's pretty complicated stuff / / /

A: If you know all the things you're supposed to do

/ if you understand it well then you'd be able to

write about it / / because you'll know what it's

about and stuff. V: So are there things teachers can do to make

other things understandable / so it's easier to

write about them?

A: Mmm / / / I don't know / / it depends on which

subject I guess / / if they give you something

you're interested in writing about then it's easy to

write about it / / but if they give you a far-fetched topic that nobody really cares about / / or doesn't

interest them / then they won't care for it and

they'll just write down anything

I remember what a revelation it was to be told in a writing class that

students write best when they care about the topic, and especially about

topics they choose themselves. Most of the students I teach tell me the same

thing routinely, albeit in different ways. I cannot be the only teacher who

hears this plea. The refusal to allow students to select topics for writing

appears to be the most efficient way to ensure that commitment to writing

will not develop. This is certainly Aaron's view of writing.

V: Can you give me an example of a far-fetched topic?

69


th a t you know about are the easiest things to w rite.V: Do you mean things you have done?A: Yup I I IV: You know a lot about skate boarding / would it be easy to write about skate boarding?A: YupV: T hat’s pretty complicated stuff I I I A: If you know all the things you're supposed to do / if you understand it well then you'd be able to write about it / / because you'll know what it’s about and stuff.V: So are there things teachers can do to make other things understandable / so it's easier to write about them?A: Mmm l l l l don’t know I I it depends on which subject I guess / / if they give you something you’re interested in writing about then it’s easy to write about it / / but if they give you a far-fetched topic th a t nobody really cares about I I or doesn't in terest them / then they won't care for it and they'll ju s t write down anything

I remember w hat a revelation i t was to be told in a writing class th a t

students write best when they care about the topic, and especially about

topics they choose themselves. Most of the students I teach tell me the same

thing routinely, albeit in different ways. I cannot be the only teacher who

hears this plea. The refusal to allow students to select topics for writing

appears to be the most efficient way to ensure th a t commitment to writing

will not develop. This is certainly Aaron's view of writing.

V: Can you give me an example of a far-fetched topic?

69


A: Mmm / / I don't know / / politics / maybe / / not

many people my age are into politics

V: Ok / / this is something I've noticed this

semester / / Often when we have author's corner

you read / / Do you remember the day you were

writing about water?

A: Well I don't really enjoy writing about serious

things / / but funny things I like writing about

V: You seem to get a real good response when you

read / / Do you enjoy that part of it?

A: When I read I get a good response?

V: Have you noticed?

A: From people?

V: Yeah / from the kids in the class

A: Yeah / / I notice it sometimes

V: They seem to really enjoy it

A: I guess they do enjoy it / / when I read

Aaron seems genuinely amazed that people enjoy listening to his work.

Possibly he had thought before only about how much he enjoyed reading.

Maybe he is being modest.

V: Do you remember reading the gophers and

gum story (*laughter)

A: Yeah / / that happened to me

V: Yeah / I know it was real (*** laughter)

Aaron told a story during author's chair about a car trip where he and a

friend stopped along the road to see what other people were looking at in the

field. It was a prairie dog village. Aaron and his friend had nothing to feed

the prairie dogs except dubble bubble gum, which they gave to a particularly

brave one. He said it got stuck all over the animal's face and to the other

prairie dogs as well. I was appalled by the image. The students listening to 70


A: Mmm I I I don't know / / politics / maybe / / not many people my age are into politics V: Ok / / this is something I've noticed this semester / / Often when we have author's comer you read / / Do you remember the day you were writing about water?A: Well I don’t really enjoy writing about serious things / / but funny things I like writing about V: You seem to get a real good response when you read / / Do you enjoy th a t part of it?A: When I read I get a good response?V: Have you noticed?A: From people?V: Yeah / from the kids in the class A: Yeah I I I notice it sometimes V: They seem to really enjoy it A: I guess they do enjoy it / / when I read

Aaron seems genuinely amazed th a t people enjoy listening to his work.

Possibly he had thought before only about how much he enjoyed reading.

Maybe he is being modest.

V: Do you remember reading the gophers and gum story S laughter)A: Yeah / / tha t happened to meV: Yeah / I know it was real (*** laughter)

Aaron told a story during author's chair about a car trip where he and a

friend stopped along the road to see what other people were looking a t in the

field. It was a prairie dog village. Aaron and his friend had nothing to feed

the prairie dogs except dubble bubble gum, which they gave to a particularly

brave one. He said it got stuck all over the animal's face and to the other

prairie dogs as well. I was appalled by the image. The students listening to70


the story were not; they found it hilarious. I had neglected to ask the

obvious question of the author: "Is this true?" I should know this question

well enough by now since virtually every story written in class inspires that

response. Aaron told me, "Yes there were prairie dogs. Yes we were

chewing gum. No the little guy wouldn't eat it but he did get some stuck on

his little hands." This story brought the house down.

V: Do you remember when you learned to read?

A: Probably about grade one or two

V: Do you remember very much about that time?

A: No V: Was it easy or was it hard?

A: It wasn't hard

I am surprised that he reports no problems learning to write, nor with

reading and writing in general. Aaron's discussion of learning to write the

letters and pronounce them is an unenthusiastic account of learning to

read, not like his public writing performances at all. The instruction

emphasized phonics and this approach continues to inform his view of

reading today.

V: Do you ever read for fun? A: No / / I will read a skateboard magazine but I don't just read for enjoyment

V: Ok / do you have skateboard magazines at home?

A: Yeah and music ones

We discuss reading and writing for school. Aaron claims he did not do

homework in elementary school, but does now. In fact, he wants to do well

in all his classes because his goal is not to be in school any longer than

necessary. He does not see reading and writing as a problem in this, or any 71


the story were not; they found it hilarious. I had neglected to ask the

obvious question of the author: "Is this true?" I should know th is question

well enough by now since virtually every story written in class inspires that

response. Aaron told me, "Yes there were prairie dogs. Yes we were

chewing gum. No the little guy wouldn't eat it but he did get some stuck on

his little hands." This story brought the house down.

V: Do you remember when you learned to read?A: Probably about grade one or twoV: Do you remember very much about tha t time?A: NoV: Was it easy or was it hard?A: It w asn't hard

I am surprised th a t he reports no problems learning to write, nor with

reading and writing in general. Aaron's discussion of learning to write the

letters and pronounce them is an unenthusiastic account of learning to

read, not like his public writing performances a t all. The instruction

emphasized phonics and this approach continues to inform his view of

reading today.

V: Do you ever read for fun?A: No / / I will read a skateboard magazine but I don't ju st read for enjoyment V: Ok / do you have skateboard magazines at home?A: Yeah and music ones

We discuss reading and writing for school. Aaron claims he did not do

homework in elementary school, but does now. In fact, he w ants to do well

in all his classes because his goal is not to be in school any longer than

necessary. He does not see reading and writing as a problem in this, or any71


other class.

V: So why do people write?

A: I don't know / / maybe like in a diary or a

journal or something for enjoyment / / like writing

things down / / people have big imaginations like

to write different things

V: Do you know any people who you think are like

that?

A: Yeah / Anne / / she does it all the time

V: Why?

A: I don't know / / I tried to get it out of her but she

will never say

V: What does a piece of writing have to have to be a

good story, a good piece of writing?

A: It has to flow / like it just can't like start off

kinda slow and through chapters just gradually / /

but start off fast with action and not just a lot of

people talking / / things are always happening not

just people talking in a room or something / / it's

like people moving around / / I don't know / / like a

murder story

V: So a good plot?

A: Yeah

Earlier in the week before this interview, when most of the class was away

on a biology field trip, we read a Guy Vanderhaeghe story, "Teacher."

Aaron agreed that it was a good story and he especially liked the humour.

"But," he said, " It had a serious subject / the one bad kid, he was pretty

weird."

V: Are there things you've read in school that are good?

72


other class.

V: So why do people write?A: I don’t know / / maybe like in a diary or a journal or something for enjoyment / / like writing things down / / people have big imaginations like to write different thingsV: Do you know any people who you think are like that?A: Yeah / Anne / / she does it all the time V: Why?A: I don't know I I I tried to get it out of her but she will never sayV: W hat does a piece of writing have to have to be a good story, a good piece of writing?A: It has to flow / like it ju st can't like s ta rt off kinda slow and through chapters just gradually / / but s ta rt off fast with action and not ju st a lot of people talking / / things are always happening not ju st people talking in a room or something / / i t’s like people moving around / / I don’t know / / like a m urder story V: So a good plot?A: Yeah

Earlier in the week before this interview, when most of the class was away

on a biology field trip, we read a Guy Vanderhaeghe story, "Teacher."

Aaron agreed th a t it was a good story and he especially liked the humour.

"But," he sa id ," It had a serious subject / the one bad kid, he was pretty

w eird."

V: Are there things you’ve read in school th a t are good?

72


A: I can't remember / / if you get to pick your own

I like that

V: What do you like?

A: Hells Angels

V: Helter Skelter?

A: No Hells Angels / / it was really good / / and

that one you've got around here / / him

V: Oh, Hunter Thompson

A: Yeah / / I've read a lot of him / / he's kinda

weird

V: What else do you like about Hunter Thompson?

A: I don't know / / he's kinda like dangerous / /

like with Hell's Angels / he like lived with them

and stuff / like saw a lot of things / and he just

writes them / there's not too many guys that do

that / ... /

V: Gonzo journalism / that's what he helped

develop / he's out there all right

A: Oh yeah / he's great

V: What about the Led Zeppelin book? / You read it

over and over again

A: I just love the band / / and it tells all the stories

of what they did and stuff / / all the weird stories / /

I don't know / just to be educated on a band that I

like / / its good V: Is it the same thing as the writing? If the topic interests you you like it?

A: Yeah

When we discuss how writing is evaluated, Aaron does not mention the

criteria he uses to judge what he reads with his writing. He reverts to a

fairly restricted set of rules, much like he did when he talked about

learning to read.

73


A: I can’t remember / / if you get to pick your own I like th a tV: What do you like?A: Hells Angels V: Helter Skelter?A: No Hells Angels / / it was really good / / andtha t one you've got around here / / himV: Oh, Hunter ThompsonA: Yeah / / I've read a lot of him / / he's kindaweirdV: What else do you like about H unter Thompson?A: I don’t know / / he's kinda like dangerous / / like with Hell's Angels / he like lived with them and stuff / like saw a lot of things / and he just writes them / there's not too many guys that do that / ... /V: Gonzo journalism / that's w hat he helped develop / he's out there all right A: Oh yeah / he's greatV: What about the Led Zeppelin book? / You read it over and over againA: I just love the band / / and i t tells all the stories of what they did and stuff / / all the weird stories / /I don't know / ju st to be educated on a band th a t I like / / its goodV: Is it the same thing as the writing? If the topic interests you you like it?A: Yeah

When we discuss how writing is evaluated, Aaron does not mention the

criteria he uses to judge what he reads with his writing. He reverts to a

fairly restricted set of rules, much like he did when he talked about

learning to read.

73


V: How do I decide which pieces of writing are

good ones?

A: What do you mean?

V: When you hand something in / how do I decide

if it's good?

A: Uh / / the ideas / / the way we use the words / /

if there all in a good order in what we wrote / / if it

has the different parts

V: Do you think I look for the same things that you

look for in a piece of writing?

A: You know when stuff is missing from writing

We discuss individual students who Aaron identifies as good writers. All of

them are regular contributors to the author's chair, and have distinct

public personalities in class. Aaron is attracted to people who write like he

does, people who write funny or absurd stories. The students he mentions

are not all strong writers, in my view, but they are all strong personalities

and entertaining readers.

V: In general, how do you feel about the way you write?

A: Good V: What do you like about it? A: I don't know / / usually I just write you know / /

/ it depends on like what the topic is / / but if it is a

funny topic, or a different topic I'll enjoy it / / writing / / I'll enjoy it if I think it's good / / but

sometimes I'll think it's stupid when I read it / / I don't know / I feel good V: Good

A: I don't think I have many flaws when I try hard / / spelling though / / if I write I don't

74


V: How do I decide which pieces of writing are good ones?A: W hat do you mean?V: When you hand something in / how do I decide if it's good?A: Uh / / the ideas / / the way we use the words / / if there all in a good order in what we wrote / / if it has the different partsV: Do you think I look for the same things th a t you look for in a piece of writing?A: You know when stuff is missing from writing

We discuss individual students who Aaron identifies as good writers. All of

them are regular contributors to the author's chair, and have distinct

public personalities in class. Aaron is attracted to people who write like he

does, people who write funny or absurd stories. The students he mentions

are not all strong writers, in my view, but they are all strong personalities

and entertaining readers.

V: In general, how do you feel about the way you write?A: GoodV: W hat do you like about it?A: I don't know / / usually I ju s t write you know / // it depends on like what the topic is / / but if i t is a funny topic, or a different topic I'll enjoy it / / writing / / I'll enjoy it if I think it’s good / / but sometimes I'll th ink it's stupid when I read it / / I don't know / I feel good V: GoodA: I don't think I have many flaws when I try hard / / spelling though / / if I write I don't

74


concentrate on spelling until I'm done I don't

concentrate on the spelling until then

Given his own experience learning to read and write, it is not surprising

that Aaron sees spelling as a feature of good writing, despite the success he

has had writing stories to read in class. There seems to be a distinction in

his understanding of writing for author's chair and writing formal

assignments. When he talks about formal writing, his primary concern is

mechanics. He does not acknowledge the effort and enthusiasm he brings

to writing for his class audience. By way of contrast, Anne, who often relies

on invented spelling and uses unique syntax of her own creation, does not

give any evidence in her interview that she worries at all about mechanics,

but she does profess a profound concern with ideas. Her important

audience is herself.

E. Anne

Indeed, we commonly recognize that an essential part of teaching writing is teaching students to think, even though there are differences of opinion about what this means (Gleason, 1993, p.64).

Thinking clearly is a stated and implied purpose in all of Anne's

written work, and therefore I looked forward to talking to her about writing.

Responses from Anne must be coaxed out, but it is not fair to call her a

reluctant speaker. She likes to think before she speaks. Her contributions

to large group discussions are always well received and often take an

opposite point of view than the rest of the class, which is not to say she is

domineering or belligerent. Quite the contrary. She is the very picture of

rationality when she speaks to the large group. She is provocative without

offence. Composed and calm, at least on the outside.

75


concentrate on spelling until I'm done I don’t concentrate on the spelling until then

Given his own experience learning to read and write, it is not surprising

th a t Aaron sees spelling as a feature of good writing, despite the success he

has had writing stories to read in class. There seems to be a distinction in

his understanding of writing for author's chair and writing formal

assignments. When he talks about formal writing, his prim ary concern is

mechanics. He does not acknowledge the effort and enthusiasm he brings

to writing for his class audience. By way of contrast, Anne, who often relies

on invented spelling and uses unique syntax of her own creation, does not

give any evidence in her interview tha t she worries a t all about mechanics,

but she does profess a profound concern with ideas. Her im portant

audience is herself.

E. Anne

Indeed, we commonly recognize th a t an essential p art of teaching writing is teaching students to think, even though there are differences of opinion about what this means (Gleason, 1993, p.64).

Thinking clearly is a stated and implied purpose in sill of Anne’s

w ritten work, and therefore I looked forward to talking to her about writing.

Responses from Anne must be coaxed out, but it is not fair to call her a

reluctant speaker. She likes to think before she speaks. Her contributions

to large group discussions are always well received and often take an

opposite point of view than the rest of the class, which is not to say she is

domineering or belligerent. Quite the contrary. She is the very picture of

rationality when she speaks to the large group. She is provocative without

offence. Composed and calm, at least on the outside.

75


Anne's description of learning to read and write is lucid and

informative. An early reader, she developed a sight vocabulary by reading

books accompanied by tapes and by memorising the words. Like Jackie,

she drew pictures about the stories her mother read to her.

A: Uh / probably I'd say when I started school I

began writing a lot / when I first started reading

well actually I think the two kind of went hand in

hand / / / I started writing my name because my

mom wrote the letters in my name and I started to

write / / / I don't think I had the alphabet down pat

but I'd write down what she was doing / ... / I

started drawing before I started writing

Anne was particularly attracted to early picture books with no text,

wordless books. She enjoyed making up her own stories to match the

pictures. Then she moved quite naturally to captioned books, and enjoyed

them too. "I was always interested in that kind of stuff / / / Mom didn't

have to push me to read and write at all," she said. Given Anne's response,

the following comes as no surprise.

V: Anyway are you a writer?

A: Uhm / I think so / / I was more of a writer a

couple of years ago than I am now I don't I used to

write all the time but I think I have a lot of

political ideas ideology / / if I was to talk about

them people would get angry and stuff so I think

that by writing them down and just keeping it to yourself it is still expressing how you feel on paper V: When you say you did a lot of writing do you

mean journal writing / personal writing?

A: Yeah strictly journal writing / / / I didn't write 76


Anne's description of learning to read and write is lucid and

informative. An early reader, she developed a sight vocabulary by reading

books accompanied by tapes and by memorising the words. Like Jackie,

she drew pictures about the stories her mother read to her.

A: Uh / probably I’d say when I started school I began writing a lot / when I first started reading well actually I th ink the two kind of went hand in hand / / / I started writing my name because my mom wrote the le tters in my nam e and I started towrite I I I I don’t th ink I had the alphabet down patbut I'd write down w hat she was doing /... / I started drawing before I started writing

Anne was particularly attracted to early picture books w ith no text,

wordless books. She enjoyed making up her own stories to match the

pictures. Then she moved quite naturally to captioned books, and enjoyed

them too. "I was always interested in tha t kind of stuff I I I Mom didn't

have to push me to read and w rite a t all," she said. Given Anne’s response,

the following comes as no surprise.

V: Anyway are you a writer?A: Uhm / I think so / / I was more of a writer a couple of years ago than I am now I don't I used to write all the time b u t I think I have a lot of political ideas ideology / / if I was to talk about them people would get angry and stuff so I th ink that by writing them down and ju s t keeping it to yourself it is still expressing how you feel on paper V: When you say you did a lot of writing do you mean journal w riting / personal writing?A: Yeah strictly journal writing / / / I didn't write

76


stories or anything just my thoughts and

perspectives / I guess it was kind of more in poetry

really I don't know what it was

V: It was for yourself?

A: Yeah strictly for myself

This fits with what I know of Anne in class. Her journal writing is always

far more developed than other kinds of writing, unless she is writing a self-

directed project. When she controls all of the variables, her writing is very

polished and complete.

Anne considers reading and writing to be very important, but

realizes that not all of her friends share her enthusiasm.

A: / I know I have some friends who have never

read a book they are seventeen years old / / / I can't

understand how they can go through life / / /

because when you read something its like that knowledge in your head / you can experience more

things and you're more aware of things than if

you hadn't read a book / you experience things in

other people's lives and stuff / / it's important to

know this / ... / I think that if you have the

structure down you have what is supposed to be done what you make of it

What I understand Anne to be talking about here is the structure of the

ideas. In her view, until you deeply know what you are thinking, the words

will have only the meaning others invest in them. To her, the meaning

comes before the words. Knowing and experience also seem to be related,

in her way of understanding.

77


stories or anything ju s t my thoughts and perspectives / 1 guess it was kind of more in poetry really I don't know w hat it was V: It was for yourself?A: Yeah strictly for myself

This fits with what I know of Anne in class. H er journal writing is always

far more developed than other kinds of writing, unless she is writing a self

directed project. When she controls all of the variables, her writing is very

polished and complete.

Anne considers reading and writing to be very important, but

realizes th a t not all of her friends share her enthusiasm.

A: / 1 know I have some friends who have never read a book they are seventeen years old I I I I can't understand how they can go through life I I I because when you read something its like that knowledge in your head / you can experience more things and you’re more aware of things than ifyou hadn't read a book / you experience things inother people's lives and stuff / / it 's important to know this / ... / 1 think th a t if you have the structure down you have what is supposed to be done what you make of it

W hat I understand Anne to be talking about here is the structure of the

ideas. In her view, until you deeply know w hat you are thinking, the words

will have only the meaning others invest in them . To her, the meaning

comes before the words. Knowing and experience also seem to be related,

in her way of understanding.

77


A: / I know the reason I write is because that it is

important not necessarily for anyone else but

myself / / it's important that I write because then

you can take your own experiences and other

people's experiences from life and kind of make

some kind of statement out of it / / of what you

think is important / / what is important to you / /

or maybe not important to you / / I think people

write for other people too / to measure their

experiences in life / / / (*laughter) / / gain

knowledge / / / I don't know why all people write /

/ you just have to get it out of your system

V: I guess we're talking about artistic writing?

identity / creativity/ seems like a simple question

but I don't think it is

A: I think writing is so important it is / / / I think

it is easier to write than it is to actually say

something V: Not for everyone A: Well for me it is / / If you were to write it down

then people who read it can get their own

interpretation out of it rather than your tone of

voice or how you present yourself

Like Cassie, and even to some extent Jackie, Anne believes it is easier to

express what is important in writing rather than by speaking. The

recurring stated preference for private expressive writing over public

speaking should not have surprised me (Roen & Johnson, 1992). Many

people need opportunities to develop ideas by writing before they know what

they think.

A: / I know that when I write in my journal I

think it's completely private / and I could write

78


A: / I know the reason I write is because th a t i t is im portant not necessarily for anyone else bu t myself / / it's important that I write because then you can take your own experiences and other people's experiences from life and kind of make some kind of statem ent out of it / / of what you think is im portant / / what is important to you / / or maybe not important to you I I I think people write for other people too / to measure their experiences in life I I I (*laughter) / / gain knowledge I I I I don't know why all people write /... / you ju s t have to get it out of your system V: I guess we're talking about artistic writing? identity / creativity/ seems like a simple question bu t I don't think i t isA: I think writing is so important it is / / / I think i t is easier to write than it is to actually say som ething V: Not for everyoneA: Well for me it is / / If you were to write i t down then people who read it can get their own interpretation out of it rather than your tone of voice or how you present yourself

Like Cassie, and even to some extent Jackie, Anne believes it is easier to

express w hat is im portant in writing rather than by speaking. The

recurring sta ted preference for private expressive writing over public

speaking should not have surprised me (Roen & Johnson, 1992). Many

people need opportunities to develop ideas by writing before they know what

they think.

A: / I know th a t when I write in my journal I think it's completely private / and I could write

78


anything in here because you don't necessarily

have to share it with the class / / it just seems

more like a private piece of work / / I've taken my

journal home so many times like wrote and

rewrote / started / and it's not even that big of a

part of English but it is definitely my favourite part

/ it's just writing what you feel.

I ask Anne about pre-writing done in class. Typically, she is very

involved in this part of the process.

A: Like when before we write / / when we discuss /

/ it helps so much / / you just gather other people's

opinions and what they think on a topic / / then

you / / it's like a whole new ball game when you've

got someone else's view

We discuss the parody done earlier with Chad and Dave. Anne

acknowledges that Chad dominated the creation of the "Bozina the

Dominatrix" piece, but also that she enjoyed being along for the ride with

someone that crazy. "It was quite sophisticated in its own way," she said.

She considered the piece to have potential, and began to speak about the

impact of individual experience on what a writer can accomplish.

A: Okay / I think that a writer has to learn from experience first of all / / / you have to constantly be

writing / to get your own ideas / to get your own

style of writing rather than taking someone else's / / and reading and writing I think they just go hand in hand because when you're reading you can take other people's ideas and stuff and definitely imprint them on your own ideas/ ... / I

79


anything in here because you don't necessarily have to share it with the class I I it ju st seems more like a private piece of work / / I’ve taken my journal home so many times like wrote and rewrote / started / and it's not even that big of a part of English but it is definitely my favourite part / it's ju st writing what you feel.

I ask Anne about pre-writing done in class. Typically, she is very

involved in this part of the process.

A: Like when before we write / / when we discuss // it helps so much / / you ju s t gather other people's opinions and w hat they think on a topic / / then you / / it’s like a whole new ball game when you've got someone else's view

We discuss the parody done earlier with Chad and Dave. Anne

acknowledges th a t Chad dominated the creation of the "Bozina the

Dominatrix" piece, but also th a t she enjoyed being along for the ride with

someone th a t crazy. "It was quite sophisticated in its own way," she said.

She considered the piece to have potential, and began to speak about the

impact of individual experience on what a writer can accomplish.

A: Okay / 1 think that a w riter has to learn from experience first of all / / / you have to constantly be writing / to get your own ideas / to get your own style of writing rather than taking someone else's / / and reading and writing I think they ju s t go hand in hand because when you're reading you can take other people's ideas and stuff and definitely im print them on your own ideas/ ... / I

79


think it actually depends on my mood / / / whether

I think something is good or not / I like when

people talk intelligently and when they talk from

experience / / / it's more factual / more what they

believe / / / I think that it has to be down tight solid

/ something that sounds more solid than an

interpretation of something / / / But then again a

creative piece can be true too

V: A different kind of truth?

A: Yeah / yeah / ... / What was that quote / / / "as

soon as you write it down it becomes fiction"

The quote Anne refers to came from a reading given by Sharon Butala that

we discussed during class. As in some of the other conversations, we

discussed people who regularly contribute to author's chair and why some

of their work is so good, why it seems "true" even when it is blatantly not.

"Truth" it seems, is as nebulous a term as "good." Like Roger, Anne said

that teachers consider many factors when evaluating student writing. She

identified the relationship between the teacher and the student as being

critical in the evaluation process.

A: Uhm / I think from just knowing the student and knowing what they are capable of that and

how / how creative they are in their writing / /

their stories and I don't know you know about the effort / but you just know from the person. V: How do you know when you've written something good?

A: It all depends on what kind of mood I'm in or what we have to write about / but then again when we have a topic I don't necessarily think I'm

interested in I can get going on that for a long time just as much as something I'm interested in

80


think i t actually depends on my mood / / / whether I think something is good or not / I like when people ta lk intelligently and when they talk from experience I I I it's more factual / more what they believe f i l l think th a t it has to be down tight solid / something that sounds more solid than an interpretation of something I I I B ut then again a creative piece can be true too V: A different kind of truth?A: Yeah / yeah I ... I W hat was th a t quote I I I "as soon as you write it down it becomes fiction"

The quote Anne refers to came from a reading given by Sharon Butala th a t

we discussed during class. As in some of the other conversations, we

discussed people who regularly contribute to author's chair and why some

of their work is so good, why it seems "true" even when it is blatantly not.

"Truth" it seems, is as nebulous a term as "good." Like Roger, Anne said

th a t teachers consider many factors when evaluating student writing. She

identified the relationship between the teacher and the student as being

critical in the evaluation process.

A: Uhm / I think from ju s t knowing the student and knowing what they are capable of th a t and how / how creative they are in the ir writing / / their stories and I don’t know you know about the effort / bu t you ju st know from the person.V: How do you know when you've w ritten something good?A: It all depends on w hat kind of mood I'm in orwhat we have to write about / but then again whenwe have a topic I don't necessarily th ink I'minterested in I can get going on th a t for a longtime ju s t as much as something I'm interested in

80


once I get started / ... /

This is something new. Very few students admit to being able to "just do

it." Anne describes this ability to discipline herself to write as a skill she

has consciously acquired through practice. For her it is useful, because

even if she is uninterested in the topic she is likely to discover something

new, or learn something new about herself in the process. Anne said,

I know that when I write in my journal I think it's

completely private / and I could write anything in

here because you don't necessarily have to share it

with the class / / ... / I've taken my journal home

so many times / like wrote and rewrote / ... / It is definitely my favourite part.

Once again, I am reassured that journal writing is a valuable tool for

learning. Anne uses journal writing not only to define her ideology, but

also to refine her thinking.

What is incredible about all of this, and what is also frustrating, is

that the way Anne talks about writing triggers so many ideas, reactions,

and possibilities that I am incapable of capturing on paper. There is so

much to say about the tone of voice, the creation of conversation, her focus

when she speaks. I have left Sandy, the poet, to the last, because in most

respects, she breaks all of the rules. She will explain.

F. Sandy

I can only speak for myself. But what I write and how I write is done in order to save my own life. And I mean that literally. For me literature is a way of knowing that I am not hallucinating, that whatever I feel/know is. It is an affirmation that sensuality is intelligence, the sensual language is language that

81


once I get started / ... /

This is something new. Very few students adm it to being able to "just do

it.” Anne describes this ability to discipline herself to write as a skill she

has consciously acquired through practice. For her it is useful, because

even if she is uninterested in the topic she is likely to discover something

new, or learn something new about herself in the process. Anne said,

I know th a t when I write in my journal I think i t ’s completely private / and I could write anything in here because you don’t necessarily have to share it with the class 1 1 ... I I've taken my journal home so many times / like wrote and rewrote /... / It is definitely my favourite part.

Once again, I am reassured that journal writing is a valuable tool for

learning. Anne uses journal writing not only to define her ideology, bu t

also to refine her thinking.

What is incredible about all of this, and what is also frustrating, is

th a t the way Anne talks about writing triggers so many ideas, reactions,

and possibilities th a t I am incapable of capturing on paper. There is so

much to say about the tone of voice, the creation of conversation, her focus

when she speaks. I have left Sandy, the poet, to the last, because in most

respects, she breaks all of the rules. She will explain.

F. Sandy

I can only speak for myself. But w hat I write and how I write is done in order to save my own life. And I m ean th a t literally. For me literature is a way of knowing th a t I am not hallucinating, that whatever I feel/know is. It is an affirmation th a t sensuality is intelligence, the sensual language is language th a t

81


makes sense (Christian, 1989, p.235).

I can picture Sandy living in an earlier time, clad in black, attending

smoky coffee houses to read and listen to poetry. She would have been

happy during the folk music era of the sixties. She does not identify herself

with distinctive dress; she looks like a regular teenager, but she embodies

the sensibility of a poet. She writes poetry all the time. Her literary

education began very early.

S: Uhm / I learned / well my mom's a writer /

free-lance writer / and / she like all she wanted

like I started reading way before I went to

kindergarten or anything because I was with her

and all she was doing was reading so I did / then

starting to write / like I learned probably when I

was about five or six / but I didn't start writing for

myself until I was in about grade six and seven /

and that was when I'd just read lyrics from

music and I'd start copying them out / and then

I'd write my own / it went on with that and then

my grade seven teacher had writing workshops /

so she got me into that as well

V: Ok / were you using lyrics as a model then?

S: I guess / I've never thought of it before / I mean

I knew there was poetry / and nursery rhymes and stuff / but I didn't think about a deeper meaner until I read the lyrics of whatever band I

was listening to at the time

Sandy's reading habits, or rather lack of reading habits, surprised me. In

class, she reads carefully and with sensitivity, and I expected her to tell me

that she read constantly. Such a revelation would have fit with my

82


makes sense (Christian, 1989, p.235).

I can picture Sandy living in an earlier time, clad in black, attending

smoky coffee houses to read and listen to poetry. She would have been

happy during the folk music era of the sixties. She does not identify herself

with distinctive dress; she looks like a regular teenager, but she embodies

the sensibility of a poet. She writes poetry all the time. Her literary

education began very early.

S: Uhm / I learned / well my mom's a writer / free-lance writer / and / she like all she wanted like I started reading way before I went to kindergarten or anything because I was with her and all she was doing was reading so I did / then starting to write / like I learned probably when I was about five or six / b u t I didn't s ta rt writing for myself until I was in about grade six and seven / and tha t was when I'd ju s t read lyrics from music and I'd start copying them out / and then I'd write my own / it went on with th a t and then my grade seven teacher had writing workshops / so she got me into th a t as well V: Ok / were you using lyrics as a model then?S: I guess / I've never thought of it before / I mean I knew there was poetry / and nursery rhymes and stuff / but I didn't th ink about a deeper meaner until I read the lyrics of whatever band I was listening to at the time

Sandy's reading habits, or rather lack of reading habits, surprised me. In

class, she reads carefully and with sensitivity, and I expected her to tell me

th a t she read constantly. Such a revelation would have fit with my

82


understanding of "what a writer does."

S: / / Uh mostly for school / I've never read much

V: That surprises me / / (*laughter) the people

around you must have been reading and talking to

you a fair amount / well I guess that's an

assumption S: It is true

V: So the early writing you did for yourself was

poetry? S: Oh yeah / I have a tough time with stories / I

have a tough time with English / like I can get a

good grade but I don't feel accomplished with it

cause / that's why I can't read because I don't

have much concentration for things / with poetry

it doesn't have to be long it just has to be

V: / / (*laughter) So you like reading poetry

S: I like reading short stories and stuff / In my

circle of friends who are poets like we read each

other's poetry and stuff / and I have a good understanding of it because I know what they do and how they are feeling / and what affects them /

I / I don't / I hate analyzing art / poetry / any kind of literature / and so I don't read other people's

poetry that much unless I know them / first of all I don't really understand it / I should just be able

to take it for what it is rather than sit around an English class and analyze it for the deep meaning / and go on and on / I read short stories mostly /

but I write poetry

I was aware that Sandy's friends write poetry, too and are part of an

underground poetry movement of sorts. The irony of a group of students

having to move underground to write and talk about poetry is not wasted on

83


understanding of "what a writer does."

S: / / Uh mostly for school / I've never read much V: That surprises me I ... I Slaughter) the people around you m ust have been reading and talking to you a fair amount / well I guess that’s an assum ption S: It is trueV: So the early writing you did for yourself was poetry?S: Oh yeah / I have a tough time with stories / I have a tough time with English / like I can get a good grade but I don’t feel accomplished with it cause / that's why I can't read because I don’t have much concentration for things / with poetry it doesn't have to be long it ju s t has to be V: / ... / S laughter) So you like reading poetry S: I like reading short stories and stuff / In my circle of friends who are poets like we read each other's poetry and stuff / and I have a good understanding of it because I know what they do and how they are feeling / and what affects them /I / I don't / I hate analyzing a rt / poetry / any kind of literature / and so I don’t read other people's poetry th a t much unless I know them / first of all I don't really understand it / I should ju st be able to take it for w hat it is ra ther than sit around an English class and analyze it for the deep meaning / and go on and on / I read short stories mostly / but I write poetry

I was aware th a t Sandy’s friends write poetry, too and are part of an

underground poetry movement of sorts. The irony of a group of students

having to move underground to write and talk about poetry is not wasted on83


me. The "problem" is not as simple as teachers not permitting this kind of

activity to go on in classes, although, I think that does partly explain the

phenomena. Students routinely keep their most important writing outside

the classroom. I have seen this in writing clubs, in my interactions with

students who write seriously on their own, and in my own experience as a

teenager. I ask Sandy about the loosely formed group with whom she

shares her writing.

S: It just happens / sometimes we say let's go grab

our stuff / in the summer we go to the park and stuff and sit around reading our poetry / our stuff V: Are we talking about masses of people or S: Oh just a few people / it's usually just I'll be on the phone with my friend and then she'll say listen to what I wrote and then I'll go wait I'll go grab my stuff / and then we'll end up on the phone like from eleven at night until eight in the morning just talking and reading / (*laughter) / our poetry V: Wow / how do you find these people? S: / / I don't know / I've been finding them /... / I've been friends with Lisa with four years and I've been writing since grade seven so it just ended up can I read some of your stuff

She is unable to explain how she and her other poet friends are able to find

each other. The question I ask her may be too fundamental to be answered.

How do any of us find kindred spirits, those individuals with whom we find

the most fulfilling community? Sandy is satisfied that many of her friends

respect her writing and are interested in reading her poetry. For her, that

is enough. She does acknowledge that her friend Lisa's interest in her

84


me. The "problem" is not as simple as teachers not perm itting this kind of

activity to go on in classes, although, I think th a t does partly explain the

phenomena. Students routinely keep their most im portant w riting outside

the classroom. I have seen this in writing clubs, in my interactions w ith

students who write seriously on their own, and in my own experience as a

teenager. I ask Sandy about the loosely formed group w ith whom she

shares her writing.

S: It ju st happens / sometimes we say let's go grab our stuff / in the summer we go to the park and stuff and sit around reading our poetry / our stuff V: Are we talking about masses of people or S: Oh ju s t a few people / i t’s usually ju st I’ll be on the phone with my friend and then she'll say listen to what I wrote and then I’ll go wait I'll go grab my stuff / and then we'll end up on the phone like from eleven a t night until eight in the morning ju s t talking and reading / (Slaughter) / our poetryV: Wow / how do you find these people?S: / / 1 don't know / I've been finding them /... /I've been friends with Lisa with four years and I’ve been writing since grade seven so it ju s t ended up can I read some of your stuff

She is unable to explain how she and her other poet friends are able to find

each other. The question I ask her may be too fundamental to be answered.

How do any of us find kindred spirits, those individuals w ith whom we find

the most fulfilling community? Sandy is satisfied tha t m any of her friends

respect her writing and are interested in reading her poetry. For her, th a t

is enough. She does acknowledge th a t her friend Lisa's in te rest in her

84


writing is an important element of their relationship:

S: Yeah / because you learn a lot / there are things

I can't say to her in person but if I read something

she can take it one way or another / it is not like /

she can get a better understanding of me I

suppose and I get a better understanding of her

V: / ... / people who are writers somehow make

this connection and it isn't always clear how they

make them / maybe the social world just brings

them together

S: We just met when we were in grade eight / it

was a hellish year and the two of us had a lot / we

learned a lot we saw a lot of things happen / and

we experienced a lot and we had lots to write about

/ and that we were both writing just came up

Similar to Jackie, Anne and Cassie, Sandy seems to be saying that writing

is a more intimate method of communicating than talking, and is useful

for that reason. Using writing to sort out emotional turmoil is not

uncommon. The self-absorbed kind of diary writing so commonly

associated with teenagers is not what is happening here. What is different

with Sandy is that she is not writing personal narratives or a journal, she

is writing poetry. She sees herself as a serious writer.

She recognizes that experience and emotion sparks the writing, but

her final product is not a retelling of events. The shaping of the words

transform the source experience of the writing into an art form. Writing

poetry is a basic element of her life.

S: / / I don't know it is just something I enjoy / about the only two things I like / (*laughter) are

85


writing is an im portant element of their relationship:

S: Yeah / because you learn a lot / there are things I can't say to her in person b u t if I read something she can take it one way or another / it is not like / she can get a better understanding of me I suppose and I get a better understanding of her V: / ... / people who are w riters somehow make this connection and it isn 't always clear how they make them / maybe the social world ju s t brings them togetherS: We just met when we were in grade eight / it was a hellish year and the two of us had a lot / we learned a lot we saw a lot of things happen / and we experienced a lot and we had lots to write about / and tha t we were both w riting just came up

Similar to Jackie, Anne and Cassie, Sandy seems to be saying th a t writing

is a more intim ate method of communicating than talking, and is useful

for th a t reason. Using writing to sort out emotional turmoil is not

uncommon. The self-absorbed kind of diary writing so commonly

associated with teenagers is not what is happening here. What is different

with Sandy is th a t she is not writing personal narratives or a journal, she

is writing poetry. She sees herself as a serious writer.

She recognizes th a t experience and emotion sparks the writing, but

her final product is not a retelling of events. The shaping of the words

transform the source experience of the writing into an a rt form. Writing

poetry is a basic element of her life.

S: / / I don't know it is ju s t something I enjoy / about the only two things I like / Slaughter) are

85


sleeping and writing

V: So it's not something a person makes a choice

about?

S: No I don't think so / I didn't / there are things

that trigger writing so that you say oh I'm

interested in this I'm going to write about this /

I'm sure people just don't go I'm going to write

V: Some writers describe writing as something

they have to do

S: I can see that / for awhile I had to write a lot

everyday / for about a year I was writing everyday

before I went to bed / it would keep me up at night

you know

Sandy's theory about why people write is based on her own

experience as a writer. Her idea of writing is closely linked to a sense of

self. Writing can preserve self, and writing can invent self.

S: For me it was a release / maybe for some people

that is how they feel accepted / if they feel they can write / like you can be a totally a person with low

self-esteem but you can write / writing can change your whole outlook on life you know V: Like you're-writing your script? S: I know lots of people who use it as a release they

write when they can't talk to anyone / like paper

can be a friend (*laughter) / it's corny but I have used it like that

In Sandy's life, writing clearly acts as a stabilizing force, as a method of

coping with what the world offers her, whether it is good or bad. Because

she writes for herself first, other people's reactions to her work is not a

major concern. Beyond her circle of teenaged friends, she shares her

86


sleeping and writingV: So it's not something a person makes a choice about?S: No I don't think so / 1 didn't / there are things th a t trigger writing so th a t you say oh I'm interested in this I'm going to write about this /I’m sure people ju s t don't go I'm going to write V: Some writers describe writing as something they have to doS: I can see tha t / for awhile I had to write a lot everyday / for about a year I was writing everyday before I went to bed / it would keep me up a t night you know

Sandy's theory about why people write is based on her own

experience as a writer. Her idea of writing is closely linked to a sense of

self. W riting can preserve self, and writing can invent self.

S: For me it was a release / maybe for some people th a t is how they feel accepted / if they feel they can write / like you can be a totally a person with low self-esteem but you can write / writing can change your whole outlook on life you know V: Like you're-writing your script?S: I know lots of people who use it as a release they write when they can't talk to anyone / like paper can be a friend (daughter)/ it's corny but I have used it like tha t

In Sandy's life, writing clearly acts as a stabilizing force, as a method of

coping with what the world offers her, whether it is good or bad. Because

she writes for herself first, other people's reactions to her work is not a

major concern. Beyond her circle of teenaged friends, she shares her86


writing with only a select group of adults, not all of whom necessarily

understand the work. Some close family members, she says, "don't get it."

However, she does identify her "ideal" reader.

S: Usually / like I know they feel they have to say

oh that's good even when they haven't listened /

(*laughter) but that's ok / but / / I don't know

people just never say much / / no one understands

it as well as my sister she is the only one / she can

critique it

V: Is she your audience?

S: Yes

While Sandy's sister is an important audience, other members of her

family also share in her life as a writer. They are important in her writing

process, and create the "writing culture" of her personal life.

S: Oh yeah / my mother she is behind me / she

writes but she is also very very critical of anything

I write / she'll say 99% of this is filling / I don't read her too much of my stuff unless I think this is really good / but my dad he is really good about this / he doesn't write much so he is all in awe of anything I write so / and my friends too they understand

V: Were there a lot of books in your home? S: At my mom's yeah but at my dad's / he's got mainly books on social topics issues / that's what he's interested in / my mom literature

Both of these influences are evident in Sandy's writing. Her literary

sensibility is combined with an articulate social conscience. One of her

strongest pieces of transactional writing all semester argued that the

87


writing w ith only a select group of adults, not all of whom necessarily

understand the work. Some close family members, she says, "don't get it."

However, she does identify her "ideal" reader.

S: Usually / like I know they feel they have to say oh that's good even when they haven’t listened /(♦laughter) but that's ok / but I I I don't know people ju s t never say much I I no one understands it as well as my sister she is the only one / she can critique itV: Is she your audience?S: Yes

While Sandy's sister is an im portant audience, other members of her

family also share in her life as a writer. They are important in her writing

process, and create the "writing culture" of her personal life.

S: Oh yeah / my mother she is behind me / she writes but she is also very very critical of anything I write / she’ll say 99% of this is filling / I don’t read her too much of my stuff unless I think this is really good / but my dad he is really good about this / he doesn't write much so he is all in awe of anything I write so / and my friends too they understandV: Were there a lot of books in your home?S: At my mom's yeah bu t a t my dad's / he's got mainly books on social topics issues / that's what he's interested in / my mom literature

Both of these influences are evident in Sandy’s writing. Her literary

sensibility is combined with an articulate social conscience. One of her

strongest pieces of transactional writing all semester argued th a t the

87


criminal justice system is too punitive to be effective. The class clapped and

said it was "deep" when she read it aloud.

Because Sandy writes well in other forms, I asked her about how she

sees "connections" in writing. I began by telling her about something I had

read about the similarities between creative non-fiction and poetry.

V: / .../ that the poet and the non-fiction writer

have more in common than the poet and the

fiction writer / because poetry is so essential so distilled so to the bone it's just there / whatever is

being replicated on paper is just that / none of the

falsity of the created world that exists in fiction /

not necessarily a made up world / does that make

any sense S: Yeah / the poet makes up facts but it comes from you / but then again so does the fiction writer make things up and it comes from the fiction writer V: Maybe there's a lot more lying going on in fiction (*laughter)

S: If you're a good liar you are a good writer / exactly

In Sandy's world, writing does not require affirmation by others for it

to be valuable. She is concerned though with her own concept of quality.

S: You just know / you finish off with that line and you go wow / I don't know you just know V: It is something other than an intellectual reaction / is it emotional? S: Yes it is / I don't look at it / it could be a couple of words / you know / like all those things I've

88


criminal justice system is too punitive to be effective. The class clapped and

said i t was "deep" when she read it aloud.

Because Sandy writes well in other forms, I asked her about how she

sees "connections" in writing. I began by telling her about something I had

read about the similarities between creative non-fiction and poetry.

V: / .../ tha t the poet and the non-fiction writer have more in common than the poet and the fiction writer / because poetry is so essential so distilled so to the bone it's ju s t there / whatever is being replicated on paper is ju s t th a t / none of the falsity of the created world th a t exists in fiction / not necessarily a made up world / does that make any senseS: Yeah / the poet makes up facts but it comes from you / but then again so does the fiction writer make things up and it comes from the fiction w riterV: Maybe there's a lot more lying going on in fiction (*laughter)S: If you’re a good liar you are a good writer / exactly

In Sandy's world, writing does not require affirmation by others for it

to be valuable. She is concerned though with her own concept of quality.

S: You just know / you finish off with tha t line and you go wow / I don't know you ju s t know V: I t is something other th an an intellectual reaction / is it emotional?S: Yes it is / 1 don't look a t i t / it could be a couple of words / you know / like all those things I've

88


learned in English like grammar and all that stuff

it could have none of that and still be good /

because I know what I'm talking about and know

what I am feeling

Her first concern is with the integrity of expression: the emotion must be

genuine for the writing to be of value. Sandy elaborated on how she

generates ideas for writing, and described her writing process. She hoards

the fragments, and reworks pieces until she is satisfied.

V: What do you do if you run out of ideas / or you

get stuck for ideas to write about

S: I / I do what you said to do / I write for ten

minutes / we did that last year / it works / so I do

that / or else I just drop it and do something else /

but I never throw anything out because I can find

an amazing line but it's one line (*laughter) / but

I keep it / like I keep everything even if it is small

/ I have scraps of paper from grade seven / I've got

piles of stuff at home

She insists that revision is not critical to writing well. What this part of the

conversation reveals, I think, is how unclear the concept of revision is.

There are no definitive answers to the questions: what is revision? what

does it look like? is it different for every writer? These questions need

answers. Sandy can, however, answer them for herself.

S: I don't usually ever revise / I just go with it / if there are obviously problems with it I change it but I don't / I don't do this to impress anyone else

V: Ok / you said obviously if there are problems /

89


learned in English like gramm ar and all th a t stuff it could have none of that and still be good / because I know what I’m talking about and know w hat I am feeling

H er first concern is with the integrity of expression: the emotion must be

genuine for the writing to be of value. Sandy elaborated on how she

generates ideas for writing, and described her writing process. She hoards

the fragments, and reworks pieces until she is satisfied.

V: W hat do you do if you run out of ideas / or you get stuck for ideas to write about S: I / I do what you said to do / I write for ten m inutes / we did th a t last year / it works / so I do th a t / or else I ju st drop it and do something else / but I never throw anything out because I can find an amazing line but it's one line Slaughter) / but I keep it / like I keep everything even if it is small / I have scraps of paper from grade seven / I've got piles of stuff a t home

She insists th a t revision is not critical to writing well. W hat this part of the

conversation reveals, I think, is how unclear the concept of revision is.

There are no definitive answers to the questions: what is revision? what

does i t look like? is i t different for every writer? These questions need

answers. Sandy can, however, answer them for herself.

S: I don't usually ever revise / I ju s t go w ith i t / if there are obviously problems with it I change i t but I don't / I don't do this to impress anyone else V: Ok / you said obviously if there are problems /

89


can you tell me about what might be problematic?

S: The end comes to an abrupt halt / or I've been

called for supper and I have to stop and that's it

I've lost my train of thought / well then you've got

to do something with it / or else you can just put it

in a file and let it go until you know what to do /

I've pretty much never revised

V: Except that keeping all these papers / where

things grow out of a variety of sources / I think

that is some form of revision / the process is not

linear / by the time words get on a page and please

someone it is a long a messy path (*laughter)

What I hear Sandy saying is that the writing is important in and of itself,

and how it happens is not something she really needs to think about for the

act to be fulfilling. In my view, she is revising all of the time and is

constantly engaged in acts of creation.

V: I'm trying to understand the process / some

people say they talk or read or listen to music or

look at art or draw a lot say they use art / do you do

something like this to get ideas S: I do all of that / if I think about it it's just gonna

/ / I just write / like I could have done nothing

during the day to think about / but something

happens that triggers writing / ... / sometimes I don't even know what it means / like I'm not

thinking about meaning when I'm writing so it

happens and sometimes it makes absolutely no sense and of course that's a weak poem / that's not a good poem but I mean I keep it all the same

The vagaries of individual style explain Sandy's denial that she revises her

90


can you tell me about what might be problematic?S: The end comes to an abrupt ha lt / or I've been called for supper and I have to stop and that's it I've lost my train of thought / well then you've got to do something with it / or else you can just put it in a file and let it go until you know what to do /I've pretty much never revised V: Except th a t keeping all these papers / where things grow out of a variety of sources / I think that is some form of revision / the process is not linear / by the time words get on a page and please someone it is a long a messy path Slaughter)

W hat I hear Sandy saying is th a t the writing is important in and of itself,

and how it happens is not something she really needs to think about for the

act to be fulfilling. In my view, she is revising all of the time and is

constantly engaged in acts of creation.

V: I'm trying to understand the process / some people say they ta lk or read or listen to music or look at a rt or draw a lot say they use art / do you do something like this to get ideas S: I do all of th a t / if I think about it it's just gonna I I I just write / like I could have done nothing during the day to th ink about / b u t something happens tha t triggers writing I ... I sometimes I don't even know w hat it means / like I’m not thinking about meaning when I'm writing so it happens and sometimes it makes absolutely no sense and of course that's a weak poem / that's not a good poem but I mean I keep i t all the same

The vagaries of individual style explain Sandy's denial th a t she revises her

90


work. Creating, writing, thinking, socializing, talking, rewriting,

sleeping, drafting and reading her friends' poetry is all part of an organic

whole in Sandy's writing life. This does not mean she is uninterested in

finishing pieces of her work.

V: How do you know when something you are

writing is finished?

S: / / / When that punch at the end is there / I'll

never end on a line that sounds dull or drab / I'll

keep going I'll keep crossing things out until it

makes me feel something or until someone else

feels something when they hear it

V: So you are conscious of an audience?

S: Oh yeah V: If you constantly cross things out is it a form of

revision yes?

S: Yeah / / /

During the semester Sandy wrote a paper about a possible career as a

broadcast journalist. She sees this career as being more practical than

poetry writing, but that "poetry has been around so long, it won't go away."

V: Are there any other forms that you are

interested in? S: Sleeping / I'm tired from all that poetry writing

(*laughter) V: Have you ever thought about being a song writer? S: I don't even think / I'm don't understand the difference V: I'm not certain that there is a difference in the process

S: Like I have a friend who writes songs / and I

91


work. Creating, writing, thinking, socializing, talking, rewriting,

sleeping, drafting and reading her friends’ poetry is all part of an organic

whole in Sandy's writing life. This does not mean she is uninterested in

finishing pieces of her work.

V: How do you know when something you are writing is finished?S: / / / When th a t punch at the end is there / I'll never end on a line that sounds dull or drab / I'll keep going I'll keep crossing things out until it makes me feel something or until someone else feels something when they hear it V: So you are conscious of an audience?S: Oh yeahV: If you constantly cross things out is it a form of revision yes?S: Yeah / / /

During the semester Sandy wrote a paper about a possible career as a

broadcast journalist. She sees this career as being more practiced than

poetry writing, but th a t "poetry has been around so long, i t won't go away.”

V: Are there any other forms th a t you are interested in?S: Sleeping / I'm tired from all th a t poetry writing (♦laughter)V: Have you ever thought about being a song writer?S: I don't even think / I’m don’t understand the differenceV: I'm not certain tha t there is a difference in the processS: Like I have a friend who writes songs / and I

91


ask him / and he says he doesn't know the

difference either / I was asking him one day like

what is the difference I don't understand it

Slowly, slowly I learn to listen to Sandy. Writing is writing is writing. She

keeps telling me this and I finally hear. I ask her about how she knew that

writing was her method of being creative. She said emphatically, "I just

ended up a writer / I have a writer's memory / I don't know where the keys

are but I can remember what the atmosphere was like." I drove Sandy

home after the interview. I mention to her that I know of at least five

writers living in her neighbourhood. "Six," she tells me.

What struck me most vividly in my discussions with students about

writing is that how their writing was evaluated in school did not influence

how they understood the value of their own writing. On one hand this is

predictable; a student is hardly going to criticize marking practices to a

teacher. It may be, though, that marks received in English class do

influence these students' response to the question "Are you a writer?" Even

when the answer is no, it was never, "Because I don't get good grades in

English." In fact, within their own definitions, the students in this study

saw themselves as good writers, even if they said they were not "real"

writers. Usually a B student in English, Cassie said, "I'm above average as

a writer". Further, each student saw writing as having a useful purpose in

their lives, a purpose they could define with examples. While few of the

examples are as dramatic as Jackie's "driving off a bridge during an

algebra exam" story, most of the students could describe significant writing

events.

All six students in the study recognized the usefulness of literacy and

92


ask him / and he says he doesn’t know the difference either / I was asking him one day like what is the difference I don't understand it

Slowly, slowly I learn to listen to Sandy. W riting is w riting is writing. She

keeps telling me this and I finally hear. I ask her about how she knew th a t

w riting was her method of being creative. She said emphatically, "I ju s t

ended up a writer / I have a w riter’s memory / I don't know where the keys

are b u t I can remember what the atmosphere was like." I drove Sandy

home after the interview. I mention to her th a t I know of a t least five

w riters living in her neighbourhood. "Six," she tells me.

W hat struck me most vividly in my discussions w ith students about

w riting is th a t how their writing was evaluated in school did not influence

how they understood the value of their own writing. On one hand this is

predictable; a student is hardly going to criticize marking practices to a

teacher. It may be, though, th a t marks received in English class do

influence these students' response to the question "Are you a writer?" Even

when the answer is no, it was never, "Because I don't get good grades in

English." In fact, w ithin their own definitions, the students in this study

saw themselves as good writers, even if they said they were not "real"

writers. Usually a B student in English, Cassie said, "I'm above average as

a writer". Further, each student saw writing as having a useful purpose in

their lives, a purpose they could define with examples. While few of the

examples are as dramatic as Jackie's "driving off a bridge during an

algebra exam" story, most of the students could describe significant writing

events.

All six students in the study recognized the usefulness of literacy and

92


the nature of literacy. I expected them to be more interested in learning to

write formally, because writing essays is a privileged form of writing in

school culture (Farr, 1993). But they did not. Their descriptions of learning

to read and write reflect what language teachers are taught about the

essential elements of becoming literate: exposure to print; living in a social

context which values literacy and models its uses; having authentic

opportunities to write for real purposes; and learning to see writing as a

process, not as a visit from the muse. In these ways they do not deviate very

much from what I understand as being current thinking on the subject.

But I do not think that these students learned to value reading and writing

primarily, because of their experiences in classrooms. They appear to

separate important writing and reading events from that arena. School is

not where significant literacy events originate. At home with parents, or

with friends, or wherever important social relationships exist, is where

important literacy events develop.

93


the nature of literacy. I expected them to be more interested in learning to

write formally, because writing essays is a privileged form of writing in

school culture (Farr, 1993). But they did not. Their descriptions of learning

to read and write reflect what language teachers are taught about the

essential elements of becoming literate: exposure to print; living in a social

context which values literacy and models its uses; having authentic

opportunities to write for real purposes; and learning to see writing as a

process, not as a visit from the muse. In these ways they do not deviate very

much from what I understand as being current thinking on the subject.

But I do not think th a t these students learned to value reading and writing

primarily, because of their experiences in classrooms. They appear to

separate im portant writing and reading events from that arena. School is

not where significant literacy events originate. At home with parents, or

with friends, or wherever important social relationships exist, is where

important literacy events develop.

93


Part Three: How writing functions in the lives of students

The question of who is researcher and who is teacher becomes less important as we concern ourselves with questions of collaboration, trust, and relationship as we live, story, and restory our collaborative research life (Connelly & Clandinin, 1990, p.10).

L Introduction: students as partners

In conversation and in their journals, the students were able to

describe with relative ease, when, how and often why, they wrote. In this

chapter, I will try to show that each student in the study uses writing for a

variety of purposes. The taped interviews with each student proved to be

critical for identifying these purposes and provided a beginning point for

the case studies. Our formal interviews did not focus on school writing as

such, but the writing done in school sometimes was mentioned in passing

by either the students or me. Writing for school did not appear to be the

most important use for writing students identified in this study.

In this chapter, I relied on three sources of data to develop portraits

of each student as writer: the contents of their journals and writing folders;

excerpts from transcripts of taped interviews; and my anecdotal records of

class events. I use "events" in a broad sense to include a range of social

interactions, from a conversation with an individual student, to

descriptions of whole class activities, such as the description of

collaborative writing in chapter one. I confess that the significance of

events was often not apparent to me at the time of writing my field notes.

Motivated by the fear of not having enough data, I jotted down my

observations in class of anything I thought might help me recreate the

classroom, hoping that later a sifting of details would result in the "thick

94


Part Three: How w riting functions in the lives o f students

The question of who is researcher and who is teacher becomes less important as we concern ourselves with questions of collaboration, trust, and relationship as we live, story, and restory our collaborative research life (Connelly & Clandinin,1990, p. 10).

L Introduction: students as partners

In conversation and in their journals, the students were able to

describe with relative ease, when, how and often why, they wrote. In this

chapter, I will try to show th a t each student in the study uses writing for a

variety of purposes. The taped interviews with each student proved to be

critical for identifying these purposes and provided a beginning point for

the case studies. Our formal interviews did not focus on school writing as

such, but the writing done in school sometimes was mentioned in passing

by either the students or me. Writing for school did not appear to be the

most im portant use for writing students identified in this study.

In this chapter, I relied on three sources of data to develop portraits

of each student as writer: the contents of their journals and writing folders;

excerpts from transcripts of taped interviews; and my anecdotal records of

class events. I use "events" in a broad sense to include a range of social

interactions, from a conversation with an individual student, to

descriptions of whole class activities, such as the description of

collaborative writing in chapter one. I confess th a t the significance of

events was often not apparent to me at the time of writing my field notes.

Motivated by the fear of not having enough data, I jotted down my

observations in class of anything I thought might help me recreate the

classroom, hoping th a t la ter a sifting of details would resu lt in the "thick

94


description" I understood to be necessary for case study work. Many of

these events could be called "critical incidents" in the sense their

importance became clear upon reflection, after the fact, when I read and

reread my field notes.

Critical incidents that are subsequently recovered by a process of introspection are used to build up practice-specific aspects of a personal-professional history; the incidents as they occurred and were analyzed at the time not only compose that history but can be used to recover it (Tripp, 1994, p.72).

These events "exist" only because I had notes on loose-leaf to read at the end

of the teaching day. Too much happens in the course of one period, much

less in one semester, to "remember" without written records.

For example, I recall the time Cassie lagged behind her friends after

class to furtively pass me a note. I accepted the scrap of folded paper, and

did not think much about it. What I do remember even now was the nature

of the eye contact, the look which I now interpret as Cassie telling me "this

is between you and I." After the break, I opened the note. She had written,

"I want to be called Cassie in your book." My book? What book? It took

awhile to register that what she referred to was the thesis.

This seemingly minor "note incident" is similar in tone to

exchanges I had with other students in the study. After receiving a copy of

the transcript of our conversation, Aaron asked to speak to me in the hall

after class. He wanted to keep the copy of the transcript because, as he said,

"that is so cool, us talking ." Anne returned the first print-out of her

interview with a note:

Mrs. Mulholland, I feel so appreciated by the response you gave me of what kind of person I am. I'm flattered to say the least. The interview was

good ... I found that I often repeated myself, and

95


description" I understood to be necessary for case study work. Many of

these events could be called "critical incidents" in the sense their

importance became clear upon reflection, after the fact, when I read and

reread my field notes.

Critical incidents th a t are subsequently recovered by a process of introspection are used to build up practice-specific aspects of a personal-professional history; the incidents as they occurred and were analyzed a t the time not only compose that history but can be used to recover i t (Tripp, 1994, p.72).

These events "exist" only because I had notes on loose-leaf to read a t the end

of the teaching day. Too much happens in the course of one period, much

less in one semester, to "remember" w ithout written records.

For example, I recall the time Cassie lagged behind her friends after

class to furtively pass me a note. I accepted the scrap of folded paper, and

did not think much about it. W hat I do remember even now was the nature

of the eye contact, the look which I now in terpret as Cassie telling me "this

is between you and I." After the break, I opened the note. She had written,

"I w ant to be called Cassie in your book." My book? What book? It took

awhile to register th a t what she referred to was the thesis.

This seemingly minor "note incident" is similar in tone to

exchanges I had with other students in the study. After receiving a copy of

the transcript of our conversation, Aaron asked to speak to me in the hall

after class. He wanted to keep the copy of the transcript because, as he said,

"that is so cool, us talking ." Anne returned the first print-out of her

interview with a note:

Mrs. M ulholland, I feel so appreciated by the response you gave me o f w ha t k in d o f person I am .I 'm fla ttered to say the least. The interview w asgood ... I found th a t I o ften repeated myself, a n d

95


things weren't making sense. I realized that I

have trouble getting my point across clearly. I'm

interested to know exactly what this is for. I

understand that it is something for the university,

but I'm still clueless on the subject. My mom

went back to university this year for her interest in

philosophy. She says it's been the best time of her

life, so far. Anne

Jackie claimed to have really enjoyed reading her interview and not

unexpectedly she said, "My mom read it at lunch and she found it

interesting too." Roger said, "I sounded so dumb." I told him that in my

view, the reverse was true, and said, "I sounded dumb, and verbose to

boot." Typically, he said that he needed to think carefully about how he

would reply in writing to the interview.

These incidents were not conspiratorial, they were collaborative. I

came to realize that each participant had a distinctly different notion of

what it meant for me to being writing a thesis. The conversations I had

with each of them, about what I was trying to do, profoundly helped with

the writing of this work. Each student respected the confidentiality of his or

her role in the work, and never in my presence at least, "gave us away."

The participants all knew there were other students involved, but I did not

tell them who the others were, and they never asked. They seemed pleased

to be able to assist in our enterprise, because it was no longer my

enterprise. If it ever was mine.

While I collected data, I expected to include every participant.

Experienced researchers had told me that participants drop out for a

variety of reasons. Personal circumstances did interfere as predicted,

causing two potential student participants to become unavailable, but even

96


th in g s weren't m aking sense. I realized th a t I have trouble g e ttin g my p o in t across clearly. I 'm in terested to know exactly w h a t th is is for. I u n derstand th a t i t is som eth ing fo r the university , b u t I 'm still clueless on the subject. M y m om w en t back to university th is yea r fo r her interest in philosophy. S h e says it's been the best tim e o f her life, so far. A nne

Jackie claimed to have really enjoyed reading her interview and not

unexpectedly she said, "My mom read i t a t lunch and she found it

interesting too." Roger said, "I sounded so dumb." I told him th a t in my

view, the reverse was true, and said, "I sounded dumb, and verbose to

boot." Typically, he said th a t he needed to think carefully about how he

would reply in writing to the interview.

These incidents were not conspiratorial, they were collaborative. I

came to realize th a t each participant had a distinctly different notion of

w hat it m eant for me to being writing a thesis. The conversations I had

with each of them , about w hat I was trying to do, profoundly helped with

the writing of this work. Each student respected the confidentiality of his or

her role in the work, and never in my presence a t least, "gave us away."

The participants all knew there were other students involved, but I did not

tell them who the others were, and they never asked. They seemed pleased

to be able to assist in our enterprise, because it was no longer my

enterprise. If i t ever was mine.

While I collected data, I expected to include every participant.

Experienced researchers had told me th a t participants drop out for a

variety of reasons. Personal circumstances did interfere as predicted,

causing two potential student participants to become unavailable, but even

96


with six students, I thought I had more data than I could manage. At one

point, writing about two boys and two girls seemed like a sensible

compromise. I abandoned the idea of writing about only four students

because to leave anyone out would result in hurt feelings. Each of the

students was pleased to be part of my work. I may have found a way to feel

comfortable writing about our conversations, our relationships and their

writing, but I could never find a way to be comfortable with leaving one of

them out because what they had to say did not "fit." Respecting my

relationship with each student became more important than the focus I

may have initially wanted to impose on any particular chapter. Whether

this commitment damaged the work is a non-issue for me.

Some months after, I understand in new ways the value of

relationships between students and teachers in school. In the last few

years I referred to the importance of the bonds between teachers and

students in papers written for graduate school. By revisiting and

rethinking the small gestures of friendship described in the field notes, I

realized the depth of my students' contributions to my understandings of

teaching. The anecdotes included in this chapter are intended to

underscore the connection I perceive existing between us, and to make

clear what I wish to raise about each student's writing self.

Anecdote can be understood as a methodological device in human science to make comprehensible some notion that easily eludes us. The use of anecdote in human science discourse is analogous to the use of metaphor ... Anecdote too is used as a methodological device to describe something indirectly when this phenomenon resists direct description. While metaphor may tend to dwell at the level of abstraction, anecdote turns the attention more naturally to the level of the concrete (van Manen, 1989, p.243).

And the experience of teaching writing is nothing if not concrete. The 97


with six students, I thought I had more data than I could manage. At one

point, writing about two boys and two girls seemed like a sensible

compromise. I abandoned the idea of writing about only four students

because to leave anyone out would result in hurt feelings. Each of the

students was pleased to be part of my work. I may have found a way to feel

comfortable writing about our conversations, our relationships and their

writing, but I could never find a way to be comfortable with leaving one of

them out because what they had to say did not "fit." Respecting my

relationship w ith each student became more im portant than the focus I

may have initially wanted to impose on any particular chapter. Whether

th is commitment damaged the work is a non-issue for me.

Some months after, I understand in new ways the value of

relationships between students and teachers in school. In the last few

years I referred to the importance of the bonds between teachers and

students in papers written for graduate school. By revisiting and

rethinking the small gestures of friendship described in the field notes, I

realized the depth of my students' contributions to my understandings of

teaching. The anecdotes included in this chapter are intended to

underscore the connection I perceive existing between us, and to make

clear what I wish to raise about each student's w riting self.

Anecdote can be understood as a methodological device in hum an science to make comprehensible some notion th a t easily eludes us. The use of anecdote in hum an science discourse is analogous to the use of metaphor ... Anecdote too is used as a methodological device to describe something indirectly when this phenomenon resists direct description. While m etaphor may tend to dwell a t the level of abstraction, anecdote tu rns the attention more naturally to the level of the concrete (van Manen, 1989, p.243).

And the experience of teaching writing is nothing if not concrete. The97


feelings, ideas and behaviours of the students and their teacher combine to

form the writing classroom community. In important ways, the students

who participated in this study were my most important audience. I cared

that I was fair and accurate in what I wrote about them.

IL Students writing: excerpts from writing folders, interviews and field notes

Case study is a genre of research - most effective, I believe, for understanding (not controlling) human beings; for studying the human acts of composing and of interpreting literature; and most appropriate for teachers of English, whose commitment to and education in literature and writing, and whose personal engagement with students should seem to create an appreciation of case study. It seems altogether fitting, then, that teachers who know the ways of interpretation should interpret the texts of their own classrooms, and that teachers who understand the value of story should see and tell the stories of themselves and of their students. If any mode of inquiry speaks from and to the heart and soul and mind of our profession, it is surely the case study (Bissex, 1990, p. 75).

As I did in chapter two, I have decided to write about each student

separately. My intention is not to compare or contrast their experiences or

insights. Essentially, each student's thick folder of work covered similar

content, since all students attended the same class and most of the students

did all the assignments. Deciding which pieces of writing to include and

which to omit from this discussion consumed a good deal of emotional and

intellectual energy. The process could be described as organic. I began

with charts, and then moved to concept maps. I talked to each student

about what they remembered as having been significant to them during the

semester, and these talks proved to be most illuminating to me. Their

99


feelings, ideas and behaviours of the students and their teacher combine to

form the writing classroom community. In important ways, the students

who participated in this study were my most important audience. I cared

tha t I w as fair and accurate in what I wrote about them.

IL Students writing: excerpts from w riting folders, interview s and field notes

Case study is a genre of research - most effective, I believe, for understanding (not controlling) human beings; for studying the human acts of composing and of interpreting literature; and most appropriate for teachers of English, whose commitment to and education in literature and writing, and whose personal engagement with students should seem to create an appreciation of case study. It seems altogether fitting, then, th a t teachers who know the ways of interpretation should interpret the texts of their own classrooms, and th a t teachers who understand the value of story should see and tell the stories of themselves and of their students. If any mode of inquiry speaks from and to the heart and soul and mind of our profession, i t is surely the case study (Bissex,1990, p. 75).

As I did in chapter two, I have decided to write about each student

separately. My intention is not to compare or contrast their experiences or

insights. Essentially, each student’s thick folder of work covered sim ilar

content, since all students attended the same class and most of the students

did all th e assignments. Deciding which pieces of writing to include and

which to omit from this discussion consumed a good deal of emotioned and

intellectual energy. The process could be described as organic. I began

with charts, and then moved to concept maps. I talked to each student

about w hat they remembered as having been significant to them during the

semester, and these talks proved to be most illuminating to me. Their

98


assessment of their work reminded me of the importance of maintaining

their individual selves in the presentation of the data. Although the social

roles we assume as teacher and student dominate the nature of our

relationships at school (Ulichny & Watson-Gegeo, 1989), I do have slightly

different ways of inter-acting with each of the students. Each of them

requires or demands something specific from me, which in turns affects

the quality of our relationship. Each student reveals something different

about themselves and therefore, I know each of them in different ways.

These subtle variations are critical. As the focus of this chapter, I selected

those pieces of writing which in my view were most like the students as I

know them.

Predictably, there are common, over-lapping themes in the excerpts

discussed in this chapter. What these teenagers see as being important

enough to write about is in some ways similar. Family, friendship, school,

part-time work and the future appear as themes in most students' writing.

Although I see some parallels in their writing content, I do not suggest that

how they write and feel about these themes is the same. Certainly, how

they use writing individually is different. Some write in rather abstract

terms about ideas they encounter, while others make connections between

abstractions and experience; and still others write almost exclusively about

personal experience, whatever the nature of the assignment or the

teacher's objective for it. The writing suggests that each student took

something different away from the shared classroom experiences.

A. Anne

Symbolic meaning, then, depends in some critical fashion upon the human capacity to internalize such a language and to use its system of signs as an interpretant in the "standing for relationship" (Bruner, 1990, p.69).

99


assessm ent of their work reminded me of the importance of m aintaining

their individual selves in the presentation of the data. Although the social

roles we assume as teacher and student dominate the nature of our

relationships a t school (Ulichny & Watson-Gegeo, 1989), I do have slightly

different ways of inter-acting with each of the students. Each of them

requires or demands something specific from me, which in tu rns affects

the quality of our relationship. Each student reveals something different

about themselves and therefore, I know each of them in different ways.

These subtle variations are critical. As the focus of this chapter, I selected

those pieces of writing which in my view were most like the students as I

know them.

Predictably, there are common, over-lapping themes in the excerpts

discussed in this chapter. What these teenagers see as being im portant

enough to write about is in some ways similar. Family, friendship, school,

part-tim e work and the future appear as themes in most students' writing.

Although I see some parallels in their writing content, I do not suggest that

how they write and feel about these themes is the same. Certainly, how

they use writing individually is different. Some write in rather abstract

term s about ideas they encounter, while others make connections between

abstractions and experience; and still others write almost exclusively about

personal experience, whatever the nature of the assignm ent or the

teacher's objective for it. The writing suggests th a t each student took

something different away from the shared classroom experiences.

A. A nne

Symbolic meaning, then, depends in some critical fashion upon the hum an capacity to internalize such a language and to use its system of signs as an in terp retan t in the "standing for relationship"(Bruner, 1990, p.69).

99


Anne is a thinker, and she is a visual artist. She frequently uses art

to expand on ideas she wishes to express to others or clarify for herself.

Her illustrations are an integral element of her writing. Because she pays

more attention to the ideas in her writing than to the mechanics of writing,

she is not generally considered by her teachers to be a strong English

student. I think her system of communication is more complex than it may

appear at first glance because of her reliance on visual symbols to help her

think.

Anne came to our high school in grade ten from another collegiate.

Her trip to school each day on the bus is long, and often she is late for class.

She never makes a fuss about it, never regales the class with personal

stories about why she is late, never offers an excuse. Sometimes her

straight blond hair is still wet and that says it all. Like many of the

students who come long distances across the city to school, she does not

draw attention to the fact that she does not live in the neighbourhood.

After completing individual assignments, whether journal writing

or reading from the text, she is likely to rest her head on her backpack and

close her eyes. Sometimes she listens to her walkman. She always

completes her in-class assignments quickly. She smiles frequently, and

wears dark coloured, loose fitting clothing. Her khaki green backpack is

decorated with slogans, badges and drawings advocating her political view

of the world. Despite the slogans, she remains enigmatic. When she

speaks in class she is capable of advancing unpopular ideas using her

reserved manner and the powerful visual images she creates. But words

sometimes fail her.

In her journal she writes,

Yes, I am [a writer]. I have been writing for a 100


Anne is a thinker, and she is a visual artist. She frequently uses a r t

to expand on ideas she wishes to express to others or clarify for herself.

H er illustrations are an integral element of her writing. Because she pays

more attention to the ideas in her writing than to the mechanics of writing,

she is not generally considered by her teachers to be a strong English

student. I think her system of communication is more complex than it m ay

appear a t first glance because of her reliance on visual symbols to help her

th ink .

Anne came to our high school in grade ten from another collegiate.

H er trip to school each day on the bus is long, and often she is late for class.

She never makes a fuss about it, never regales the class w ith personal

stories about why she is late, never offers an excuse. Sometimes her

straight blond hair is still wet and th a t says it all. Like many of the

students who come long distances across the city to school, she does not

draw attention to the fact th a t she does not live in the neighbourhood.

After completing individual assignments, whether journal writing

or reading from the text, she is likely to rest her head on her backpack and

close her eyes. Sometimes she listens to her walkman. She always

completes her in-class assignments quickly. She smiles frequently, and

wears dark coloured, loose fitting clothing. Her khaki green backpack is

decorated with slogans, badges and drawings advocating her political view

of the world. Despite the slogans, she remains enigmatic. When she

speaks in class she is capable of advancing unpopular ideas using her

reserved m anner and the powerful visual images she creates. But words

sometimes fail her.

In her journal she writes,

Yes, I a m [a writer]. I have been w riting for a100


long time, and I enjoy it very much.

People learn to write from practice, and teachers,

and by reading. Anything that gets their minds

working. People write to clear their minds, to express their

ideas or beliefs, to become more creative, and

possibly because they are influenced by a certain

writer or perhaps, idea. A good writer needs experience reading books,

writing. Practice will help. Experience in life will

also trigger thinking. I am pretty critical of my own work, so I feel as

though I can only try harder at what I do in

writing. Writing depends on personal style. Other

people judge your technique and expression of ideas.

My strength as a writer is the ability to

think about situations and contemplate them before writing them down. This helps me to refer to both sides of the story, and understand situations that I'm writing about better. My weakness as a writer could be described as not

always making myself clear. I know what I want

to say, but it doesn't always come out on paper like

that. I also have the tendency to write in a certain tone with my slang, also not making it clear to the reader.

Anne's writing about writing is a realistic assessment of her skill, but

reveals more about who she is as a learner. Anne presents herself in class

in many different roles, but always as someone wanting to understand.

Of all the versions of herself she presents in class, "Anne as visual

artist" is the most impressive. Her most memorable writing assignments

101


long tim e, a nd I enjoy it very much.People learn to w rite from practice, a n d teachers, a n d by reading. A nyth ing th a t gets th e ir m inds w o rk in g .People write to clear their m inds, to express their ideas or beliefs, to become more creative, a n d possib ly because they are influenced by a certain w riter or perhaps, idea.A good w riter needs experience reading books, w riting. Practice w ill help. Experience in life will also trigger th ink ing .I a m pre tty critical o f m y own work, so I feel as though I can only try harder a t w hat I do in w riting . W riting depends on personal style. Other people ju d g e y o u r technique a n d expression o f ideas.

M y strength as a writer is the a b ility to th in k about situa tions and contem plate them before w riting them down. T h is helps m e to refer to both sides o f the story, a nd understand s itu a tio n s tha t I 'm w riting about better.M y weakness as a writer could be described as not a lw ays m aking m yse lf clear. I know w h a t I want to say, but it doesn 't always come out on paper like that. I also have the tendency to write in a certain tone w ith m y slang, also not m aking i t clear to the reader.

Anne's w riting about writing is a realistic assessment of her skill, bu t

reveals more about who she is as a learner. Anne presents herself in class

in many different roles, but always as someone wanting to understand.

Of all the versions of herself she presents in class, "Anne as visual

artist" is the most impressive. Her most memorable writing assignments

101


included a visual component: a collage, painting or illustration. Anne's

reliance on visual images to generate ideas for writing, but also to extend

the meaning of her words, suggests to me that symbolic expression is a

natural form for her. The visual art components of her assignments

enhance her writing. She is an artist, with a precocious understanding of

what I recognize to be theory. I say this because she makes a conscious

effort to link experience and ideas into a coherent framework to explain the

world as she experiences it. In her interview she talked about the

importance of writing in developing what she called her "ideology". This is

important to Anne, and is not something school requires her to do.

Anne's ideology

Part of Anne's role as an artist is to advance what she calls her

ideology. She says in the interview, "I think I have a lot of political ideas /

ideology / if I was to talk about them people would get angry and stuff so I

think that by writing them down and just keeping it to yourself / it is still

expressing how you feel on paper." Her ideology appeared in many of the

creative writing projects she completed for class. A powerful collage she

made to accompany a research project on young women, modern music

and the Riot Grrls is a strong example of her ideological writing. The

following excerpt from her long research paper titled, "Do I have to shave

my armpits to be a feminist?" reflect Anne's larger political ideology:

For a long time, there were not many women in bands, and even fewer who were speaking aggressively about being a woman in this society. Now young women are getting together to play music with other women, rather than being into the whole "boy's world sort of

102


included a visual component: a collage, painting or illustration. Anne's

reliance on visual images to generate ideas for writing, but also to extend

the m eaning of her words, suggests to me tha t symbolic expression is a

natural form for her. The visual a r t components of her assignments

enhance her writing. She is an artist, with a precocious understanding of

what I recognize to be theory. I say this because she makes a conscious

effort to link experience and ideas into a coherent framework to explain the

world as she experiences it. In her interview she talked about the

importance of writing in developing what she called her "ideology". This is

im portant to Anne, and is not something school requires her to do.

Anne's ideology

P art of Anne's role as an a rtis t is to advance w hat she calls her

ideology. She says in the interview, "I think I have a lot of political ideas /

ideology / if I was to ta lk about them people would get angry and stuff so I

think th a t by writing them down and just keeping it to yourself / it is still

expressing how you feel on paper." Her ideology appeared in many of the

creative writing projects she completed for class. A powerful collage she

made to accompany a research project on young women, modem music

and the Riot Grrls is a strong example of her ideological writing. The

following excerpt from her long research paper titled, "Do I have to shave

my arm pits to be a feminist?" reflect Anne's larger political ideology:

For a long tim e, there were not m any women in bands, a n d even fewer w ho were speaking aggressively about being a w om an in th is society. Now yo u n g women are ge ttin g together to p lay m usic w ith other wom en, rather than being in to the whole "boy's w orld sort o f

102


thing." The third and most important issue facing

these young women is the sense of belonging. By

not conforming to the stereotype of "blond bimbos"

and other such ideas around them, they are

shunning themselves from society too. When they

get together at meetings or write letters to each

other, what they have to say is serious and

meaningful. The only thing these girls want to do

is come together and help each other out.

They are definitely not doing this for

attention. Grrls hate the idea of going

mainstream and being into the scene, so they say.

It is difficult to understand this because I'm sure

that if a sweet pristine girl walked into a meeting,

and declared herself a feminist, that she'd more

than likely be harassed for not being punk or

militant enough. Another thing that irks me is

the fact that no boys are allowed and some Riot

Grrls really do believe the Y chromosomes are the

root of all evil. In conclusion, I would like you to realize

how much society has changed and how far

feminism has gone. Women have made it for

themselves to become freer people. Although we

haven't quite reached equality yet. Some feminist

movements are reaching beyond that, seeking girl

power. I guess that they forget two wrongs don't

make a right.

In my experience, expressions of this sort are extremely uncommon in

student writing, particularly in writing by young women. She said in the

interview, " It's important that I write / because then you can take your

own experiences and other people's experiences from life and kind of make

103


th in g ."The th ird a n d m ost im portant issue fa c in g

these young women is the sense o f belonging. B y not conform ing to the stereotype o f "blond b im b o s" a n d o ther such ideas around them , they are sh u n n in g them selves from society too. W hen they get together a t m eetings or write letters to each other, w h a t they have to say is serious a n d m eaningful. The on ly th ing these g irls w an t to do is come together a n d help each other out.

They are de fin ite ly not doing th is for attention. Grrls ha te the idea o f going m ainstream a n d being in to the scene, so they say.I t is d ifficu lt to u n d ersta n d th is because I 'm sure tha t i f a sweet p ris tin e g ir l walked into a meeting, a n d declared h e rse lf a fem in ist, th a t she 'd m ore than likely be harassed fo r not being p u n k or m ilita n t enough. A n o th er th ing tha t irk s m e is the fact th a t no boys are allowed and some R io t G rrls really do believe the Y chromosomes are the root o f a ll evil.

In conclusion, I w ould like you to realize how m uch society h a s changed and how fa r fem in ism has gone. W omen have m ade it for them selves to become freer people. A lthough we haven 't quite reached equality yet. Som e fem in is t m ovem ents are reach ing beyond that, seeking g ir l power. I guess th a t they forget two wrongs d o n 't m ake a right.

In my experience, expressions of this sort are extremely uncommon in

student writing, particularly in writing by young women. She said in the

interview, ” It's im portant th a t I write / because then you can take your

own experiences and other people's experiences from life and kind of make103


some kind of statement out of it." And she does.

The origin of Anne's political view of the world comes from her

thinking about what she has experienced, and is illustrated by other

narratives in her journal. Responding to a prompt asking about the

experience of being isolated without being able to do anything to change the

situation, an idea that a story we read in class examined, Anne wrote:

A time that I remember clearly was when I

was in grade seven. We had this teacher who was

obviously too uneducated to teach our class. It was

a split seven-eight class, as an "experimental

project", and this new teacher to our school was

assigned. I learned nothing that year except about

his life experiences of being drunk or injured, and

I spend most of my time in the office.

Most kids at our school thought that he was

the best teacher, and a really cool guy. Like the

time he found a dead rotten corpse of a rabbit on

the highway and decided to dissect the flee infested

animal in front of a bunch of thirteen year olds as

a joke.

He tried to explain to my vice-principal the situation. It wasn't as if I was a bad student, I had an "A" average and never had even a detention through out elementary, so why didn't they understand? I didn't want him fired because I disliked him, I just wanted to be in another classroom because I thought I wasn't working to the best of my abilities.

In the end though I realized that this was a no win situation. We were dealing with politics here, his word against mine. Nothing could be

104


some kind of sta tem ent out of it." And she does.

The origin of Anne’s political view of the world comes from her

th inking about w hat she has experienced, and is illustrated by other

narratives in h er journal. Responding to a prompt asking about the

experience of being isolated without being able to do anything to change the

situation, an idea th a t a story we read in class examined, Anne wrote:

A tim e th a t I rem em ber clearly w as w hen I w a s in grade seven. We had th is teacher w ho was obviously too uneducated to teach our class. I t was a s p lit seven-eight class, as an "experim ental project", and th is new teacher to our school was assigned . I learned noth ing tha t year except about h is life experiences o f being d ru n k or in jured , and I sp en d m ost o f m y tim e in the office.

M ost k id s a t our school thought th a t he was th e best teacher, a n d a really cool guy. L ike the t im e he found a dead rotten corpse o f a rabb it on th e h ighw ay and decided to dissect the flee infested a n im a l in front o f a bunch o f thirteen year olds as a joke .

H e tried to explain to m y vice-principal the situa tion . I t w asn 't as i f I was a bad studen t, I h a d a n "A" average a n d never had even a d e ten tion through o u t elementary, so w hy d id n 't th ey u n d ersta n d ? I d id n 't w ant h im fired because I d is lik e d him , I ju s t w anted to be in ano ther classroom because I thought I w asn 't w orking to th e best o f m y abilities.

In the end though I realized th a t th is was a no w in situation. We were dealing w ith po litics here, h is word aga inst mine. N o th ing cou ld be

104


said or done to reveal the authorities' true

thoughts. I spent a year struggling in school

trying to make things right. The teacher hated me

for my beliefs and frequently told me that I could

out smart him, but he was the teacher. He

completely missed my point.

A few years later he silently left our school,

for some unknown reason. I wonder today if I

somehow made that difference, that point of

objective to make the authorities at our school

change their minds about this "man of the

woods."

Her political ideas come from her reflection on personal experience. By

writing about both, and I think by making a deliberate effort to connect the

two, she develops what she has referred to as her "ideology." Her journal

writing in particular reveals a developing theory about who has power, and

what power means in our culture. In another excerpt from her journal in

the same unit, Anne responded to a question a student raised during a

class discussion: "Can you be a bigot without knowing it?" In her journal,

Anne answered the question, but she did not tell this story to the class:

Yes, I think that you can. You aren't born with moral values or acts of discrimination, but rather accumulate it. Society inflicts social standards on us, devising what is right and what is wrong.

One example of this is an experience I had the other day. Some friends and I were skating through Victoria Park. We dumped our stuff on the bench and skated around. The older people walking through the park, expecting a nice, quiet evening stroll, were annoyed by our scraping,

105


said or done to reveal the au thorities' true thoughts. I spent a yea r struggling in school trying to m ake th ings right. The teacher hated m e for m y beliefs and frequently to ld m e th a t I could out sm art h im , bu t he w as the teacher. He completely m issed m y point.

A few years la ter he silen tly left our school, for some unknow n reason. I wonder today i f I somehow m ade th a t difference, th a t p o in t o f objective to m ake the authorities a t our school change th e ir m inds about th is "m an o f the w oods."

Her political ideas come from her reflection on personal experience. By

writing about both, and I think by making a deliberate effort to connect the

two, she develops w hat she has referred to as her "ideology." Her journal

writing in particular reveals a developing theory about who has power, and

w hat power means in our culture. In another excerpt from her journal in

the same unit, Anne responded to a question a student raised during a

class discussion: "Can you be a bigot without knowing it?" In her journal,

Anne answered the question, but she did not tell this story to the class:

Yes, I th in k tha t you can. You a re n ’t b o m w ith moral va lues or acts o f d iscrim ination, bu t rather accum ulate it. Society inflicts social standards on us, devising w hat is righ t and w ha t is wrong.One exam ple o f th is is an experience I had the other day. Som e friends and I were ska ting through Victoria Park. We dum ped our s tu f f on the bench a n d ska ted around. The o lder people w alking through the park , expecting a nice, quiet evening stroll, were annoyed by o u r scraping,

105


thrashing noises, and the smoke filled air. We

explained to them that it was a free park, and

blah, blah, blah, while they thought, "they're a

bunch of hoodlums."

After a while skating, some drunken, dingy

looking men came through the park. One was

eyeing my book bag, and I ran to grab the bag

before he did. I thought of him as a hoodlum.

Her own behaviour is not exempt from careful scrutiny. Her thinking

about morality extends beyond a self-serving analysis of perceived injustices

to a careful examination of her own life. She did not tell either of the above

stories to the class, but she did participate in the discussion of exploitation

at work.

Anne's Worst Job Story

Many students have jobs, many of the jobs are in the fast food

industry and many of the students use the term "Mcjobs" to talk about their

working lives. As with the majority of working students in the class, the

world of work does not provide Anne with anything more than money. An

introductory journal entry asking students to reflect on their worst job

scenario resulted not only in furious, intense free-writing but in popular

stories told in author's chair time, too. The intrinsic humiliation they

experienced in the fast food industry was a recurring theme in the stories.

Anne revised her story at home, and then told it to the class.

This is Anne's story:

I've had so many bad experiences with jobs that I don't know which one to choose. I've spilled

food on a doctor's three piece Italian suit; I've had

money thrown at me, machines blow up during

106


th rash ing noises, a n d the sm oke filled air. We explained to them tha t it w as a free park, and blah, blah, blah, w hile they thought, "they're a bunch o f hoodlum s."

A fter a w hile skating, som e drunken, d ingy looking m en cam e through the park . One was eyeing m y book bag, and I ran to grab the bag before he did. I thought o f h im as a hoodlum.

Her own behaviour is not exempt from careful scrutiny. Her thinking

about morality extends beyond a self-serving analysis of perceived injustices

to a careful ex a m in a tion of her own life. She did not tell either of the above

stories to the class, but she did participate in the discussion of exploitation

a t work.

Anne's Worst Job Story

Many students have jobs, many of the jobs are in the fast food

industry and many of the students use the term "Mcjobs" to talk about their

working lives. As with the majority of working students in the class, the

world of work does not provide Anne with anything more than money. An

introductory journal entry asking students to reflect on their worst job

scenario resulted not only in furious, intense free-writing but in popular

stories told in author's chair time, too. The intrinsic humiliation they

experienced in the fast food industry was a recurring theme in the stories.

Anne revised her story a t home, and then told it to the class.

This is Anne's story:

I've had so m any bad experiences w ith jobs th a t I don 't know which one to choose. I've spilled food on a doctor's three piece I ta lia n suit; I've had m oney throw n a t me, m achines blow up during

106


rush hours, people having allergic reactions to the

food and toilets overflowing at work.

The worst of all I would have to say, was the

night of the Grey Cup. I had to work until close

that night so it was an extremely busy, long shift.

We had double labour on, but it still was not

enough. Around 10:30 p.m., when it had slowed

down reasonably, a very drunk college prep from

Calgary showed up. He ordered about $30.00

worth of food, and left a $15.00 tip that he refused to

take back. (In fast food restaurants you can't

accept tips.) He sat down by a window, and began

to start singing. Really loud. Then he saw his

reflection in the mirror, and thinking it was

someone else, started carrying on a conversation.

Then he passed out for half an hour. My manager

wasn't there so I had to deal with it.

I woke him up and offered to get him a cab

ride home. He agreed, but the cab would take one hour because it was so busy that night. He then began throwing up on his table for a good fifteen minutes. He couldn't walk, and he was too heavy

to take to the bathroom. A lot of customers left after that. He apologized and left, and I had to

clean up the mess. I should have gotten to keep

the $15.00 tip at least for that, but I didn't.

Anne' story was received well by the class. Students recognized the

elements of the story and connected it to their own experiences. She read

the story with humour and pleasantly answered questions about the

incident. She did not get home until 3:00 a.m. that night because of the

extra cleaning necessary.

"Do you still have the job?" Felicia asked, after hearing the story in

107


rush hours, people having allergic reactions to the food a n d toilets overflowing at work.

The worst o f a ll I would have to say, w a s the n ig h t o f the Grey Cup. I had to work u n til close th a t n ig h t so it was an extremely busy, long sh ift.We h a d double labour on, but it s till was not enough. A round 10:30 p .m ., w hen it had slow ed dow n reasonably, a very d ru n k college prep fro m C algary showed up. He ordered about $30.00 w orth o f food, and left a $15.00 tip th a t he refused to take back. (In fa st food restaurants you can 't accept tips.) H e sat down by a w indow , a n d began to s ta r t singing. R eally loud. Then he saw h is reflection in the mirror, a n d th in k in g it w as som eone else, started carrying on a conversation.Then he passed out for h a l f an hour. M y m anager w asn 't there so I had to deal w ith it.

I woke h im up and offered to get h im a cab ride home. He agreed, but the cab w ould ta ke one hour because it was so busy tha t night. H e then began throw ing up on his table fo r a good fifteen m inutes. H e couldn't walk, and he was too heavy to take to the bathroom. A lot o f custom ers le ft after that. H e apologized and left, a n d I h a d to clean up the mess. I should have gotten to keep the $15.00 tip a t least for that, but I d idn 't.

Anne' story was received well by the class. Students recognized the

elements of the story and connected it to their own experiences. She read

the story with humour and pleasantly answered questions about the

incident. She did not get home until 3:00 a.m. th a t night because of the

extra cleaning necessary.

"Do you still have the job?" Felicia asked, after hearing the story in

107


class. Anne laughed. "No, I got fired." The way Anne told and wrote this

story is similar to the overtly ideological writing she does. She uses

personal experience to flesh out her view of the world and how it works.

Irony, and an awareness of the powerless position she sometimes is

required to assume, are in evident many of her stories.

Anne speaks out

Anne possesses a curious combination of survival skills for school.

She does not speak out much, but when she does it is usually so original

that other students listen. She is not afraid to take an alternative view, even

if it means challenging prevailing popular assumptions. Early in the

semester, during a class discussion, she took an unprecedented position on

the issue of school rules: she suggested that in the interests of the collective

good, those in authority have a right to require certain behaviours from

students. More than a few students reacted in mock horror, and others

challenged her position directly. Despite their professed love of freedom,

students frequently censure anyone who violates the prevailing, orthodox

view of the majority. Her participation in this discussion embodies

Heilbrun's (1988) idea that, "Power is the ability to take one's place in

whatever discourse is essential to action and the right to have one's part

matter" (18). She did not renege on her original position, nor did she

engage in any hysterical exchanges to continue the argument; however,

Anne exercised power in a courageous way by speaking out.

Another example of this public exercise of social power occurred

during a discussion of Lady Macbeth's character. In this particular class

discussion, students took turns talking to the rest of the class about their

opinions and each stood at a rather formal looking wooden podium

normally used only for the valedictory speeches in June. The use of the /051


class. Anne laughed. "No, I got fired." The way Anne told and wrote this

story is sim ilar to the overtly ideological writing she does. She uses

personal experience to flesh out her view of the world and how it works.

Irony, and an awareness of the powerless position she sometimes is

required to assume, are in evident many of her stories.

Anne speaks out

Anne possesses a curious combination of survival skills for school.

She does not speak out much, but when she does it is usually so original

th a t other students listen. She is not afraid to take an alternative view, even

if it means challenging prevailing popular assumptions. Early in the

semester, during a class discussion, she took an unprecedented position on

the issue of school rules: she suggested th a t in the in terests of the collective

good, those in authority have a right to require certain behaviours from

students. More than a few students reacted in mock horror, and others

challenged her position directly. Despite their professed love of freedom,

students frequently censure anyone who violates the prevailing, orthodox

view of the majority. Her participation in this discussion embodies

Heilbrun's (1988) idea that, "Power is the ability to take one's place in

whatever discourse is essential to action and the right to have one's p a rt

matter" (18). She did not renege on her original position, nor did she

engage in any hysterical exchanges to continue the argum ent; however,

Anne exercised power in a courageous way by speaking out.

Another example of this public exercise of social power occurred

during a discussion of Lady Macbeth's character. In this particular class

discussion, students took turns talking to the rest of the class about their

opinions and each stood at a rather formal looking wooden podium

normally used only for the valedictory speeches in June. The use of the108


podium was not my idea; it just happened.

Basically the majority of the class agreed on this point: Lady

Macbeth was responsible for Macbeth's problems. The first three speakers

made this point, although Kerry acknowledged that, "something weird is

going on with the witches / but that should not be accepted for an excuse."

Anne took the podium to defend Lady Macbeth. While most of the vocal

members of the class berated Macbeth's "partner in greatness," Anne

championed her "partly," she said, "because she gave good speeches." All

Lady Macbeth had done, she asserted , "is give an eloquent voice to what

Macbeth appears to want but is afraid to do / she is his partner / / she loves

him and like wants more power / because she is a woman though / she

cannot claim the power / but she would if she could / she wants him to keep

his word / but it is his choice." A few more students spoke after Anne, and

accepted her view, in total or in part. Jason said, "Men rule," and there

was a smattering of applause for his comment.

Anne's independent view was supported by her verbal-visual essay, a

painting she did as part of her project work in the "Macbeth" unit. Two

dominant images frame the painting: the profile of Lady Macbeth stares at

a rather sinister looking crown. Opposite this image is a witch holding a

dagger. Macbeth is represented in a rather minor way in her visual

interpretation of the play. He appears as a dark figure, possibly the third

murderer from Act III. In the written explanation of her painting, Anne's

essential point is that without these two forces, Macbeth would not have

proceeded and there would have been no play. She also published an

illustrated comic book of the play titled A Wicked Kinda Guy, written in a

cool cat, beatnik dialect. (Among certain students at our school in the

winter of 1996, Beat poetry was very popular). In the comic, she

acknowledges that without his predilection to be ambitious, nothing would 109


podium was not my idea; it just happened.

Basically the majority of the class agreed on this point: Lady

Macbeth was responsible for Macbeth's problems. The first three speakers

made this point, although Kerry acknowledged that, "something weird is

going on with the witches / but tha t should not be accepted for an excuse."

Anne took the podium to defend Lady Macbeth. While most of the vocal

members of the class berated Macbeth's "partner in greatness," Anne

championed her "partly," she said, "because she gave good speeches." All

Lady Macbeth had done, she asserted , "is give an eloquent voice to what

Macbeth appears to want but is afraid to do / she is his partner / / she loves

him and like wants more power / because she is a woman though / she

cannot claim the power / but she would if she could / she wants him to keep

his word / bu t it is his choice." A few more students spoke after Anne, and

accepted her view, in total or in part. Jason said, "Men rule," and there

was a sm attering of applause for his comment.

Anne's independent view was supported by her verbal-visual essay, a

painting she did as part of her project work in the "Macbeth" unit. Two

dominant images frame the painting: the profile of Lady Macbeth stares a t

a ra ther sinister looking crown. Opposite this image is a witch holding a

dagger. Macbeth is represented in a rather minor way in her visual

interpretation of the play. He appears as a dark figure, possibly the third

m urderer from Act III. In the written explanation of her painting, Anne's

essential point is th a t without these two forces, Macbeth would not have

proceeded and there would have been no play. She also published an

illustrated comic book of the play titled A Wicked Kinda Guv, written in a

cool cat, beatnik dialect. (Among certain students a t our school in the

winter of 1996, Beat poetry was very popular). In the comic, she

acknowledges tha t without his predilection to be ambitious, nothing would109


have come of the prodding of the "women in this cat's life."

Anne Reads Poetry

At the class coffee house, Anne read a poem she wrote which was

published in a student writing magazine. The class was suitably

impressed by news of publication and listened more attentively than usual

while she read to them. "It is about nothing," she said. "It is just words /

words in a kind of order." She went on to tell the class about the origins of

this work which had brought her a modicum of fame. This is how she

described the experience to me during our interview:

V: I remember a story you told / ... / about poetry

/ ... / (*laughter) A: Actually I did it in art class / / / a friend of mine

was having difficulty with poetry (*laughter) / and

I told her I'd help her over lunchtime and I just ended putting a whole bunch of big words together

and making it sound really avant garde / so I was

writing it out for her and she handed it in and got

an A on it and uh / / / And she was all happy about that and she had to read it in front of the class and it was only between me and her what we were doing / / / so I thought I kinda liked the poem too / it didn't mean anything to me so I was writing it out in my art class and was going to draw a picture to go with it and I was writing it out and my art teacher saw it and said I like the poem / and without asking me he submitted the poem and it was published

V: Do you remember what you said about it at the time? /... / this relates to the point you made about how we invest meaning that we choose into words

110


have come of the prodding of the "women in this cat's life."

Anne Reads Poetry

At the class coffee house, Anne read a poem she wrote which was

published in a student writing magazine. The class was suitably

impressed by news of publication and listened more attentively than usual

while she read to them. "It is about nothing," she said. "It is ju s t words /

words in a kind of order." She went on to tell the class about the origins of

this work which had brought her a modicum of fame. This is how she

described the experience to me during our interview:

V: I remember a story you told / ... / about poetry I ... I (daughter)A: Actually I did it in a r t class I I I a friend of mine was having difficulty with poetry Slaughter) / and I told her I'd help her over lunchtime and I just ended putting a whole bunch of big words together and making it sound really avant garde / so I was writing it out for her and she handed it in and got an A on it and uh / / / And she was all happy about th a t and she had to read it in front of the class and it was only between me and her what we were doing I I I so I thought I kinda liked the poem too / it didn't mean anything to me so I was writing it out in my a r t class and was going to draw a picture to go with it and I was writing it out and my a rt teacher saw it and said I like the poem / and without asking me he submitted the poem and i t was publishedV: Do you remember w hat you said about it a t the time? /... / this relates to the point you made about how we invest meaning th a t we choose into words

110


/ ... / A: Yeah / I think that when I was writing it I just

took examples and stuff / a bunch of words that

really meant nothing to me but someone else /

obviously her English teacher and my art teacher

were really affected by it they thought it was

special (*laughter) / they just took their own

interpretation of the poem

Anne told the class the story of the poem with a surprising lack of

ego, without any hint of mocking in her voice. She could have used the

story to reveal how easy it is to fool teachers. Instead, she used the poem to

make a point about the reading of poetry. She told the class that what the

reader invests in the words is at least as important as what the writer

intended.

Come again. The class is not with her on this one. She needs to

translate, to talk her way out of what they perceive to be a circle, and what I

see as a discussion of response theory. "I mean that I didn't mean

anything deep / these were just words strung together / my teacher saw

something there / put something there / it is the meaning you make from

words that is important." As witness to this exchange, I am left wondering

how many students understood what she said on any level. Judging from

their responses and questions, most students appeared to be wrapped up in

the moral questions raised by Anne's story. Should the other student have

received credit? Most thought she should have, if the teacher did not know

any better. Did the other teacher ever find out? Anne did not think so. Still

others wanted to know if she got any money from the publisher. No, she did

not.

The story raises a number of questions for me. How did the meaning

111


/ . . . /A: Yeah / I think that when I was writing it I ju s t took examples and stuff / a bunch of words that really m eant nothing to me but someone else / obviously her English teacher and my a r t teacher were really affected by it they thought i t was special (*laughter) / they ju s t took the ir own interpretation of the poem

Anne told the class the story of the poem with a surprising lack of

ego, without any h in t of mocking in her voice. She could have used the

story to reveal how easy it is to fool teachers. Instead, she used the poem to

make a point about the reading of poetry. She told the class th a t what the

reader invests in the words is a t least as im portant as what the writer

intended.

Come again. The class is not with her on th is one. She needs to

translate, to talk her way out of what they perceive to be a circle, and w hat I

see as a discussion of response theory. "I mean th a t I didn't mean

anything deep / these were ju st words strung together / my teacher saw

something there / pu t something there / it is the meaning you make from

words th a t is important." As witness to this exchange, I am left wondering

how many students understood what she said on any level. Judging from

their responses and questions, most students appeared to be wrapped up in

the moral questions raised by Anne's story. Should the other student have

received credit? Most thought she should have, if the teacher did not know

any better. Did the other teacher ever find out? Anne did not think so. Still

others wanted to know if she got any money from the publisher. No, she did

not.

The story raises a number of questions for me. How did the meaning

111


I invested in Anne's story shape the anecdote I wrote? Did I appropriate

her story and make it one I could use to advance my own cause and to

explain my understanding of cultural practices in the classroom? How far

should I have gone in class to draw attention to what I see as the essential

point of the story? The fact that I choose to write about Anne's story, and

not any of the others that developed on the day in question, answers the first

two questions. Clearly, my view that the story was important resulted in its

inclusion in this work. However, the question of whether I should have

insisted that my interpretation take precedence over the students'

interpretation requires further consideration. Arguably, my

understanding of the individual reader's investment of words with

meaning may well have extended my students' understanding of the

reading of poetry in general. My notes describing the incident bubble with

excitement, but not with the kind of excitement the students voiced.

Primarily, the students were interested in the plot of Anne's story and I

wanted to talk about the theme. To me the story showed that the reader

completes the construction of meaning. Even more, I wanted to make some

connection to ideas I found relevant. This situation is analogous to many

others which arise in teaching literature and writing, and relates

specifically to the identifying cultural practices of the classroom.

In this instance, my understanding was just another possible

perspective within the classroom community. I was reading about the

construction of meaning, and Anne's poetry story intersected with my ideas

at that time. The students were not eager to listen to my ideas about

"meaning" when their own meaning, as reflected in their discussion and

questions, superseded mine. Working out moral shades of grey regarding

cheating in school was more compelling than the teacher's ideas about the

construction of meaning. Some students may have been intrigued by my 112


I invested in Anne's story shape the anecdote I wrote? Did I appropriate

her story and make it one I could use to advance my own cause and to

explain my understanding of cultural practices in the classroom? How far

should I have gone in class to draw attention to w hat I see as the essential

point of the story? The fact tha t I choose to write about Anne's story, and

not any of the others th a t developed on the day in question, answers the first

two questions. Clearly, my view that the story was im portant resulted in its

inclusion in th is work. However, the question of w hether I should have

insisted th a t my interpretation take precedence over the students'

in terpretation requires further consideration. Arguably, my

understanding of the individual reader's investm ent of words w ith

meaning m ay well have extended my students' understanding of the

reading of poetry in general. My notes describing the incident bubble with

excitement, bu t not with the kind of excitement the students voiced.

Primarily, th e students were interested in the plot of Anne's story and I

wanted to ta lk about the theme. To me the story showed tha t the reader

completes the construction of meaning. Even more, I wanted to make some

connection to ideas I found relevant. This situation is analogous to many

others which arise in teaching literature and writing, and relates

specifically to the identifying cultural practices of the classroom.

In th is instance, my understanding was ju s t another possible

perspective within the classroom community. I was reading about the

construction of meaning, and Anne's poetry story intersected w ith my ideas

a t th a t time. The students were not eager to listen to my ideas about

"meaning" when their own meaning, as reflected in their discussion and

questions, superseded mine. Working out moral shades of grey regarding

cheating in school was more compelling than the teacher's ideas about the

construction of meaning. Some students may have been intrigued by my112


reaction, or may have at least indulged an analysis of events from my point

of view. I am the teacher, and certain privileges are extended to me that

students do not expect to receive. The power to monopolize class

discussions free of interruption is one example of the inherent power of the

teacher's role possible in this scenario. In this case, imposing my view of

Anne's story would not have extended students' understanding the way

their own discussion did; it would have been self-indulgent on my part. I

had the opportunity to respond to Anne personally, because I communicate

in writing through her journal. Ultimately, this incident taught me that

teaching depends on being able to suppress your own agenda when it

clearly violates the legitimate concerns and causes of the students. The

irony is of course, that we all came away from the "incident" with the

opportunity to learn something of value. What we took from the incident

just was not the same for each of us.

Anne writes about women, art and power

During the semester, Anne read a biography of Emily Carr which

had a great impact on her knowledge of art and of reading. In her written

response to the book she has the following comments to make:

Art is like history, in the sense that the more you know about the past, the further you will get in the present and the future. ... This book revealed the love of art culture I have found in myself, and the encouragement I have gained in not only Canadian art, but literature as well. ... I would recommend this book to someone who is interested in history as well as in art. I would also suggest it to the feminist sort of movement. Emily Carr was

113


reaction, or may have a t least indulged an analysis of events from my point

of view. I am the teacher, and certain privileges are extended to me tha t

students do not expect to receive. The power to monopolize class

discussions free of interruption is one example of the inherent power of the

teacher's role possible in this scenario. In this case, imposing my view of

Anne's story would not have extended students' understanding the way

their own discussion did; it would have been self-indulgent on my part. I

had the opportunity to respond to Anne personally, because I communicate

in writing through her journal. Ultimately, this incident taught me th a t

teaching depends on being able to suppress your own agenda when it

clearly violates the legitimate concerns and causes of the students. The

irony is of course, th a t we all came away from the "incident" with the

opportunity to learn something of value. What we took from the incident

just was not the same for each of us.

Anne w rites about women, art and power

During the semester, Anne read a biography of Emily Carr which

had a great impact on her knowledge of a rt and of reading. In her written

response to the book she has the following comments to make:

A rt is like history, in the sense th a t the more you know about the past, the fu rther you w ill get in the present a n d the fu ture. ... Th is book revealed the love o f a rt culture I have found in myself, and the encouragement I have ga ined in not only C anadian art, but litera ture as well. ... I would recom mend th is book to someone who is interested in h istory as well as in art. I w ould also suggest it to the fem in is t sort o f m ovem ent. E m ily Carr was

113


a strong willed woman who got into art for the

reason of proving herself against all the men that

ever came into her life. It is a powerful book, and

it shows true leadership in a women's movement

that did not even exist back then. ... I have not

read a book that was in any way similar to this

one, besides the fact that it was a biography. It

moved me in a way that I have to say changed my

life. My appreciation for female artists, Canadian

artists and Native culture has heightened my

ability to learn.

In her discussion of Emily Carr, Anne constructs her idea of character in

the abstract and also in personal terms. Her writing encompasses the

feminist idea that the personal is political. She includes the lives of other

people who have influenced her when she writes in her journal. Her role

models come from a variety of sources, including her family.

Journal excerpt: A gift I would like to inherit is from my Auntie May. She is my great aunt, the third oldest of eight surviving children. She grew

up on the family farm, where she lived for ten years of my life. When she lived on the farm she was forced to discontinue school, to work on the farm. When she was seventeen she moved away to continue her education. ... I would like to inherit her strength, courage and ability to succeed. ... To me, she was an exceptionally strong woman who fought for a different life, other than the life she had on the farm. Even today, she keeps her priorities straight, determined with what she wants, and what she'll

receive in life.

114


a strong w illed wom an who got in to a rt for the reason o f proving herse lf against a ll the men th a t ever cam e into her life. I t is a pow erfu l book, a n d i t show s true leadership in a w om en 's m ovem ent th a t d id not even exist back then. ... I have not read a book th a t was in any way s im ila r to th is one, besides the fact tha t it was a biography. I t m oved me in a way th a t I have to say changed m y life. M y appreciation for fem ale a rtists, C anadian a rtis ts and N ative culture has heightened m y a b ility to learn.

In her discussion of Emily Carr, Anne constructs her idea of character in

the abstract and also in personal terms. Her writing encompasses the

feminist idea th a t the personal is political. She includes the lives of other

people who have influenced her when she w rites in her journal. Her role

models come from a variety of sources, including her family.

J o u rn a l excerpt: A g ift I would like to inherit is fro m m y A un tie May. She is m y grea t aunt, the th ird oldest o f eight surviving children. She grew up on the fa m ily farm , where she lived for ten years o f m y life. When she lived on the farm she w as forced to discontinue school, to work on the fa rm . When she was seventeen she moved aw ay to continue her education. ... I w ou ld like to in h er it her strength, courage a n d ab ility to succeed. ... To me, she was an exceptionally strong woman who fought for a d ifferen t life, o ther than the life she had on the fa rm . Even today, she keeps her priorities stra igh t, determ ined w ith w ha t she wants, a n d w hat sh e 'll receive in life.

114


This valuing of strength and independence in appears in her writing about

the future. She would become a professional dancer, if she was writing the

script of her life entirely. In the conclusion of her paper on ballet masters,

she writes:

I not only want to teach ballet, but I want to own

my own business. That way, I become my own boss. I have already taken into consideration the

hard work and dedication necessary for this

because I see the stress in my dad's eyes everyday

when he comes home from work. My dad is successful in his business, like I hope to be, and

he still loves his job after all these years of grief...

I am preparing myself at an early age for this future in ballet because it is too competitive to start late. I have missed out on things like having a

steady part-time job or hanging out with my

friends because ballet gets in the way. Those things will be forgotten though when my dream has been fulfilled, and accomplished. Then I will be satisfied.

The breadth and depth of Anne's writing convinces me that the time

she spent in and out of class writing journals is justified. Her inclusion of

personal concerns in her expository writing enhances the impact of her

work, and does not diminish its academic integrity. Anne is not considered

a top student in English by her other teachers; she is considered a middle-

level one. Knowing Anne has not only enriched my understanding of

writing, she has expanded my teaching practices. In my view, Anne

transcends the "top student" category because what she writes has value in

her real life. She seems content with that, and unwilling to alter her work

to fulfil someone else's agenda.

115


This valuing of strength and independence in appears in her w riting about

the future. She would become a professional dancer, if she was writing the

script of her life entirely. In the conclusion of her paper on ballet masters,

she writes:

I not only w ant to teach ballet, but I w an t to own m y ow n business. T h a t way, I become m y ow n boss. I have already taken into consideration the h a rd work a n d dedication necessary fo r th is because I see the stress in m y d a d ’s eyes everyday when he comes home fro m work. M y d a d is successful in h is business, like I hope to be, a n d he s till loves h is job a fte r a ll these years o f grie f. ...I am preparing m yse lf a t an early age fo r th is fu ture in ballet because i t is too com petitive to start late. I have m issed ou t on th ings like h a v in g a steady part-tim e job or hang ing out w ith m y friends because ballet g e ts in the way. Those th ings w ill be forgotten though when m y dream has been fu lfilled , a n d accomplished. Then I w ill be satisfied.

The breadth and depth of Anne’s writing convinces me th a t the time

she spent in and out of class writing journals is justified. Her inclusion of

personal concerns in her expository writing enhances the impact of her

work, and does not diminish its academic integrity. Anne is not considered

a top student in English by her other teachers; she is considered a middle-

level one. Knowing Anne has not only enriched my under standing of

writing, she has expanded my teaching practices. In my view, Anne

transcends the "top student" category because what she writes has value in

her real life. She seems content w ith that, and unwilling to alter her work

to fulfil someone else's agenda.

115


B. Aaron

The new writing programs seem capable of extending the reach of literacy by engaging more students actively in literacy practices - students who would otherwise have found the struggle with the blank page not worth the risk of marks or identity lost (Willinsky, 1991, p.258)

Aaron experienced success as a writer for the first time in his school

life while participating in writer's workshop. He discovered he had a talent

for writing entertaining pieces. The success he enjoyed in creative writing

spilled over into his other writing, and he became a stronger transactional

writer, too. Whether or not this significant progress would have naturally

developed without the workshop is impossible to prove. However, as a

witness of his evolution, I believe his author's chair readings during

workshop time made a critical difference in his development.

I met Aaron when he was in my class in grade ten. A vivid memory

I have of him then is the first piece of writing entered in his writing folder.

It is a poem.

"I am a Loser " by Aaron

I am an idiot I am a sped At 8:30 I would rather stay in bed My parents say I am inbred I listen to Pearl Jam And my favourite food is spam I have a truck and everyone says I suck

Popular with other students, Aaron is not viewed as a failure by them

in any way that I detect. If his name comes up in conversation in the staff

room, teachers speak of him in positive terms. From the beginning of high

school, he has attended learning assistance class for one period a day, but

116


B. A aron

The new writing programs seem capable of extending the reach of literacy by engaging more students actively in literacy practices - students who would otherwise have found the struggle with the blank page not worth the risk of m arks or identity lost (Willinsky, 1991, p.258)

Aaron experienced success as a w riter for the first time in his school

life while participating in writer's workshop. He discovered he had a talent

for writing entertaining pieces. The success he enjoyed in creative writing

spilled over into his other writing, and he became a stronger transactional

writer, too. W hether or not this significant progress would have naturally

developed w ithout the workshop is impossible to prove. However, as a

witness of his evolution, I believe his author's chair readings during

workshop tim e made a critical difference in his development.

I m et Aaron when he was in my class in grade ten. A vivid memory

I have of him then is the first piece of writing entered in his writing folder.

It is a poem.

"/ a m a Loser " by Aaron I a m an id iot I a m a spedA t 8 :3 0 1 w ould rather s ta y in bedM y paren ts sa y I am inbredI listen to P earl J a mA n d my favourite food is sp a mI have a truck a n d everyone says I suck

Popular with other students, Aaron is not viewed as a failure by them

in any way th a t I detect. If his name comes up in conversation in the staff

room, teachers speak of him in positive terms. From the beginning of high

school, he has attended learning assistance class for one period a day, but

116


there appears to be no social stigma attached to being part of that program.

Having said this, it is pertinent to note that Aaron is attractive, polite, well-

groomed and funny. He interacts well with peers and adults at all levels.

An accomplished skateboarder, he has been able to develop a very positive

self-image, despite any set-backs within school. His consuming passion for

skate boarding gives him not only a secure social group and a daily activity,

but provides him with an important escape from the potential pressures of

school.

Aaron the student

Journal excerpt: I give out a lot of effort in class. I

figure that I am always trying as hard as I can to

get things done and done right. When

participation is asked for I am always willing to

help out and to do the best I can. I can't

remember any times that I did not participate in

class. Some of my weaknesses that I would like to

get rid of are my homework skills. I wish that I

could be 100% accurate in getting all of my

homework done.

When he was first in my class, Aaron sat in a desk by the window,

directly opposite my desk. He completed his work as quickly as possible and

usually was concerned about whether it was right or not. He got me to do a

lot of checking. The rowdy students in his midst appeared to amuse him,

but he did not actually get involved in their antics. He has learned to behave

in school, which may have been the reason that his learning disability was

not recognized until grade eight.

In his journal Aaron writes frequently about school experiences past

and present, but I perceive no sense of disillusionment with the process. 117


there appears to be no social stigma attached to being part of th a t program.

Having said this, i t is pertinent to note that Aaron is attractive, polite, well-

groomed and funny. He interacts well with peers and adults a t all levels.

An accomplished skateboarder, he has been able to develop a very positive

self-image, despite any set-backs within school. His consuming passion for

skate boarding gives him not only a secure social group and a daily activity,

but provides him w ith an important escape from the potential pressures of

school.

Aaron the student

Jo u rn a l excerpt: I give out a lot o f effort in class. I figure th a t I am alw ays trying as h a rd as I can to get th in g s done and done right. When participa tion is asked for I am alw ays w illing to help ou t a n d to do the best I can. I ca n 't rem em ber any tim es th a t I d id not participate in class. Som e o f m y weaknesses tha t I w ould like to get r id o f are m y homework skills. I w ish tha t I could be 100% accurate in getting a ll o f m y hom ew ork done.

When he was first in my class, Aaron sat in a desk by the window,

directly opposite my desk. He completed his work as quickly as possible and

usually was concerned about whether it was right or not. He got me to do a

lot of checking. The rowdy students in his midst appeared to amuse him,

but he did not actually get involved in their antics. He has learned to behave

in school, which m ay have been the reason that his learning disability was

not recognized until grade eight.

In his journal Aaron writes frequently about school experiences past

and present, but I perceive no sense of disillusionment with the process.117


On the whole, he is very positive about school. He has some regrets about

not completing a full academic program during high school and wrote in

his journal, "If I had another chance I would try to make my life easy by

trying to go into algebra and pass that. More doors would be open for me."

The rest of the page where this is written is decorated with a variety of

graphic representations of his name, accompanied by a response to a note

he apparently wrote to one of his partners in class. "You are a lemon

Angela." While he acknowledges that some of his decisions will limit

future opportunities, he does not agonize at length about them in his

writing.

In grade eleven, he shifted seats towards the front right corner of the

room, and sat with two skater girls whom he knew from outside school. A

perceptible change came over him and he appeared more confident. He

began to regularly read during writer's corner, a time when students are

invited to share pieces of writing, stories or entries from their journals. He

wrote, "I am very comfortable standing up in front of class speaking." His

contributions typically were appreciated for their humour and he developed

a classroom reputation for being an entertaining writer.

Aaron the entertainer

Journal excerpt: My strength is being a very accomplished writer by being humorous and kind of heart-stopping fun.

One particularly successful story that Aaron wrote developed out of a

piece of free-writing done at the beginning of a thematic unit of stories

associated with water. He read the story during author's chair time.

Aaron signed up on the board and was the sixth of seven readers. With the

118


On the whole, he is very positive about school. He has some regrets about

not completing a full academic program during high school and wrote in

his journal, "If I had another chance I would try to make my life easy by

trying to go into algebra and pass that. More doors would be open for me."

The rest of the page where this is written is decorated with a variety of

graphic representations of his name, accompanied by a response to a note

he apparently wrote to one of his partners in class. "You are a lemon

Angela." While he acknowledges th a t some of his decisions will lim it

future opportunities, he does not agonize at length about them in his

w riting.

In grade eleven, he shifted seats towards the front right com er of the

room, and sat with two skater girls whom he knew from outside school. A

perceptible change came over him and he appeared more confident. He

began to regularly read during writer's comer, a time when students are

invited to share pieces of writing, stories or entries from their journals. He

wrote, "I am very comfortable standing up in front of class speaking." His

contributions typically were appreciated for their humour and he developed

a classroom reputation for being an entertaining writer.

Aaron the entertainer

Journa l excerpt: M y strength is being a very accom plished writer by being hum orous and k in d o f heart-stopping fun.

One particularly successful story tha t Aaron wrote developed out of a

piece of free-writing done a t the beginning of a thematic unit of stories

associated with water. He read the story during author's chair time.

Aaron signed up on the board and was the sixth of seven readers. With the

118


exception of the first story in this series, an amusing account of a child who

gets stranded in a rubber dingy, all the stories preceding Aaron's

contribution had tragic overtones. He bounded to the front of the room, sat

down in the comfort of the reader's corner armchair, waited a moment,

then looked up at the class from beneath the brim of his black baseball cap.

He read the following version to the class. The first line received a big

laugh, at least in part because of the string of sad stories it had followed.

"Here goes, " he said, "This is my water story."

After I finish a hard day of skate boarding I like to

cool myself down with a nice tall cool refreshing

glass of water. Then I might jump into the

shower and have a nice tall cool refreshing

shower to get clean. Using water. I love water so

much I sleep on a water bed at my friend's house

just so I can imagine myself floating in the ocean.

If I ever thought of ending my life, which I doubt I

would ever do seeing as how much I love water, I

would simply drown myself in a bowl of water.

That would give the effect of me drinking

showering and sleeping in water. I enjoy water. I enjoy water's taste of clean

mountain air. I like it when water hurts my teeth because it is cold. I like being hurt by water. So

often I will drink cold water then drink scalding

hot water just so my teeth can hurt from water.

Water is good. One time water got mad at me because he

saw me drinking orange juice. That is water's evil cousin who tries to make himself taste better than water so he can build a cult. When water saw this he tried to drown me at my swimming

lessons. When I got home I found that water had

119


exception of the first story in this series, an amusing account of a child who

gets stranded in a rubber dingy, all the stories preceding Aaron’s

contribution had tragic overtones. He bounded to the front of the room, sat

down in the comfort of the reader's com er armchair, waited a moment,

then looked up a t the class from beneath the brim of his black baseball cap.

He read the following version to the class. The first line received a big

laugh, a t least in part because of the string of sad stories i t had followed.

"Here goes, " he said, "This is my w ater story."

A fter I f in ish a hard d a y o f ska te boarding I like to cool m y se lf dow n w ith a nice ta ll cool refreshing g lass o f water. Then I m ig h t ju m p into the show er a n d have a nice ta ll cool refreshing show er to get clean. U sing water. I love w ater so m uch I sleep on a w ater bed a t m y fr ie n d ’s house ju s t so I can im agine m y se lf floa ting in the ocean.I f I ever though t o f en d in g m y life, w hich I doubt I w ould ever do seeing a s how m uch I love water, I w ould s im p ly drown m y se lf in a bowl o f water.T ha t w ould give the effect o f me d rin k in g show ering a n d sleeping in water.

I enjoy water. I enjoy w a ter’s taste o f clean m oun ta in air. I like it w hen w ater h u rts m y teeth because it is cold. I like being hu rt by water. So often I w ill d rin k cold w ater then drink sca ld ing hot w ater ju s t so m y teeth can h u rt from water.W ater is good.

One tim e water g o t m ad a t me because he saw m e d r in k in g orange ju ice. T ha t is w a ter 's evil cousin who tries to m ake h im se lf taste better th a n w ater so he can b u ild a cult. When w ater saw th is he tried to d row n m e a t m y sw im m in g lessons. W hen I got hom e I fo u n d tha t w a ter had

119


killed orange juice by pouring him down the sink.

I had to apologize to water by doing the rain dance

in front of water's elders to earn back its respect.

Immediately, the class responded with major clapping. His reading was

frequently interrupted by genuine laughter. The tone of the piece appealed

to the audience, especially when he used his James Earl Jones of CNN

delivery of "water - is good." Aaron's gift for the dramatic was clear in the

presentation of this piece of writing. Had another student read it in a less

dramatic way, a student not as popular as Aaron, it likely would not have

been so warmly received.

A day in the life

Although in his journal he says, "Reading is my main problem. I do

not like to read stories that do not interest me," in fact Aaron is quite

dedicated to completing his homework and he never misses classes.

During our interview I asked Aaron to describe a typical school day. The

way he frames the story of his typical day reveals how easily he is able to

use language to create a confident, amusing social self.

A: I get up put my slippers on and walk upstairs / slippers so my dog doesn't bite my feet (* laughter) V: Ok A: Uh / by the door there's this little white thing right / I'll trip on that cause I'm tired / I'll get in the shower / shower / then go eat / with my slippers on and then (*laughter) / after I eat I'm done eating / or ate / I go get dressed brush my teeth and skateboard to school / then when I get to school I'll go get my books and then I'll go outside see my friends then I come back in to English or Art then I have a break / go outside or do whatever

120


killed orange ju ic e by pouring h im down the sink.I h a d to apologize to water by do ing the rain dance in fro n t o f w a te r’s elders to earn back its respect.

Immediately, the class responded with major clapping. His reading was

frequently interrupted by genuine laughter. The tone of the piece appealed

to the audience, especially when he used his James Earl Jones of CNN

delivery of "water - is good." Aaron's gift for the dramatic was clear in the

presentation of this piece of writing. Had another student read it in a less

dramatic way, a student not as popular as Aaron, it likely would not have

been so warmly received.

A day in the life

Although in his journal he says, "Reading is my main problem. I do

not like to read stories th a t do not in terest me," in fact Aaron is quite

dedicated to completing his homework and he never misses classes.

During our interview I asked Aaron to describe a typical school day. The

way he frames the story of his typical day reveals how easily he is able to

use language to create a confident, am using social self.

A: I get up put my slippers on and walk upstairs / slippers so my dog doesn’t bite my feet (* laughter)V: OkA: Uh / by the door there’s this little white thingright / I'll trip on th a t cause I'm tired / I'll get inthe shower / shower / then go ea t / with myslippers on and then (*laughter) / after I eat I'mdone eating / or ate / I go get dressed brush myteeth and skateboard to school / then when I get toschool I'll go get my books and then I'll go outsidesee my friends then I come back in to English orArt then I have a break / go outside or do whatever

120


/ come back in and have a spare thing and get help

or whatever and go for a run zip home if I don't

stay for lunch I go home and feed the dog and

make my lunch with my dad skateboard to school

at about 12:30 p.m. then just kinda hang out for

awhile skating or whatever / and then I have a

nap (*laughter) / go to math / try math / laugh

with other people in the class because I don't

know (* laughter) / ... /

One long string of words, pausing only to laugh at himself, brings Aaron to

his description of his general math class. In grade nine he and his parents

decided he would not take algebra, or any other regular stream

mathematics classes.

A: I'm at the front of the class / all the people at the front are fun they wear bright colours / we all wear bright colours and gradually as you move to

the back of the class the colours get darker / it

turns dark and cold (* laughter) / ... / They're

freaks and stuff /

Aaron's description of his math class is of particular interest. General

math classes are referred to as "gunner math" at our school. A student

does not take those classes unless all other math classes have been tried,

and usually failed. His image of the back of the room being "dark and cold"

is exaggeration, but shows how he uses descriptive language for comic

effect. Not all of the people in general math have as positive an attitude as

Aaron. Many lack the support from family he enjoys, and give the

impression of being "dark and cold." They do dress in black and emit an

121


/ come back in and have a spare thing and get help or whatever and go for a run zip home if I don't stay for lunch I go home and feed the dog and make my lunch with my dad skateboard to school a t about 12:30 p.m. then ju s t kinda hang out for awhile skating or whatever / and then I have a nap (*laughter) / go to m ath / try m ath / laugh with other people in the class because I don't know(* laughter) / ... /

One long string of words, pausing only to laugh a t himself, brings Aaron to

his description of his general math class. In grade nine he and his parents

decided he would not take algebra, or any other regular stream

m athem atics classes.

A: I'm a t the front of the class / all the people a t the front are fun they wear bright colours / we all wear bright colours and gradually as you move to the back of the class the colours get darker / it turns dark and cold (* laughter) I ... I They're freaks and stuff /

Aaron's description of his math class is of particular interest. General

m ath classes are referred to as "gunner math" at our school. A student

does not take those classes unless all other math classes have been tried,

and usually failed. His image of the back of the room being "dark and cold"

is exaggeration, but shows how he uses descriptive language for comic

effect. Not all of the people in general m ath have as positive an attitude as

Aaron. Many lack the support from family he enjoys, and give the

impression of being "dark and cold." They do dress in black and em it an

121


aura of hopelessness. Aaron does not lament about the problems he has

had in school; he recognizes and makes the best of his situation. He has

confidence in his ability to work hard and get along with people, including

his teachers.

Aaron and teacher directed writing

Journal excerpt: My weaknesses are spelling and

grammar but I am sure that will all be smoothed

out by the end of grade 12.

Each student in the class was asked to assemble three items in a box

which represented values, experiences or ideas they believed were most

important to them. Afterward, each student had the option of writing about

the contents of their own box, of making generalizations about what the

other students talked about, or of elaborating about a specific item of

significance. There were not really very many restrictions on this writing

assignment and therefore, each student wrote something quite different.

Aaron wrote a personal essay describing the contents of a box he used as a

prop in an verbal assignment. The essay Aaron wrote is an example of the

kind of writing he does when he follows the essay format he has learned in

school.

For my assignment I collected symbolic items in my magic pocket, not in a special box. ... The items I chose were a skateboard wheel, a pair of headphones and a picture of a car. All of these things are significant because they represent what I value most in my life.

I value a skateboard wheel not because it is a wheel but because I love to skateboard. It is what

122


aura of hopelessness. Aaron does not lament about the problems he has

had in school; he recognizes and makes the best of his situation. He has

confidence in his ability to work hard and get along with people, including

his teachers.

Aaron and teacher directed w riting

Journa l excerpt: M y weaknesses are spe lling and gram m ar b u t I am sure th a t w ill a ll be sm oothed out by the en d o f grade 12.

Each student in the class was asked to assemble three items in a box

which represented values, experiences or ideas they believed were most

important to them. Afterward, each student had the option of writing about

the contents of their own box, of making generalizations about w hat the

other students talked about, or of elaborating about a specific item of

significance. There were not really very many restrictions on this writing

assignment and therefore, each student wrote something quite different.

Aaron wrote a personal essay describing the contents of a box he used as a

prop in an verbal assignment. The essay Aaron wrote is an example of the

kind of writing he does when he follows the essay format he has learned in

school.

For m y assignm en t I collected sym bolic item s in m y magic pocket, not in a special box. ... The item s I chose were a skateboard wheel, a p a ir o f headphones a n d a p icture o f a car. A ll o f these th ings are sign ifican t because they represent w hat I va lue most in m y life.

I value a skateboard wheel not because it is a wheel but because I love to skateboard. I t is w hat

122


I do in my spare time and it is what keeps me

going. I think that if I did not skate I would get

very bored and probably get into some kind of

trouble. ... The younger skateboarders look up to

me, ask for advice and I gladly give it to them. It

also makes me feel good when I am said to be one

of the top ten best in a city where there are 200

skaters.

I also choose [sic] a pair of headphones which

show my love of music. ... I think that the music

that you listen to reflects your personality and the

way that you present yourself to others. When I

listen to Metallica, which is 90% of the time, I feel

optimistic and upbeat.

Lastly, I have a picture of a car to show my love

and obsession with them. ... I subscribe to Hot

Rod [magazine]. ...

All of these things are very important to me

because when I am older, I might open a

skateboard store strictly for skateboards,

snowboards and all the related clothing. I also

wish to have many cars and clean them with all

the care in the world. Finally, I will be able to play

Metallica very loud.

Aaron has learned to organize a five paragraph essay by introducing

three points in his introduction, discussing each point separately with

examples in the body paragraphs, and by summarizing his ideas as a

conclusion. The last sentence, "Finally, I will be able to play Metallica very

loud" comes closest to the public self Aaron exhibits when he reads in

author's chair. This is not to say that the rest of the essay does not sound 123


I do in m y spare tim e a n d it is what keeps me going. I th in k tha t i f I d id not skate I w ould get very bored a n d probably g e t into some k in d o f trouble. ... The younger skateboarders look up to me, ask for advice and I g la d ly give it to them. I t also m akes m e feel good w hen I am sa id to be one o f the top ten best in a c ity where there are 200 ska ters .

I also choose [sic] a p a ir o f headphones which show m y love o f music. ... I th ink th a t the m usic th a t you listen to reflects yo u r personality and the way tha t you present y o u rse lf to others. When I listen to M etallica, w hich is 90% o f the time, I feel optim istic a n d upbeat.

Lastly , I have a picture o f a car to show m y love a n d obsession w ith them . ... I subscribe to Hot R od [magazine]. ...

A ll o f these th ings are very im portan t to me because w hen I am older, I m ight open a skateboard store strictly fo r skateboards, snowboards a n d all the related clothing. I also w ish to have m any cars a n d clean them w ith a ll the care in the world. F inally, I w ill be able to p lay M etallica very loud.

Aaron has learned to organize a five paragraph essay by introducing

three points in his introduction, discussing each point separately with

examples in the body paragraphs, and by summarizing his ideas as a

conclusion. The last sentence, "Finally, I will be able to play Metallica very

loud" comes closest to the public self Aaron exhibits when he reads in

author's chair. This is not to say th a t the rest of the essay does not sound123


like him, too. As with all of his writing that I have read, it is an honest

expression of Aaron's understanding of the assignment.

The longest essay Aaron wrote during the semester was nine pages,

and in it he described the research he did about a possible career as a motor

mechanic. He wrote about the programs available for mechanics in the

province, what apprenticeship was like, the high school classes a student

needs before being admitted to the formal program of study, and his

interview with a working mechanic. In the end, he rejected this career for

a variety of reasons:

Through my research and interview, I found out

that in some cases schooling is important but in

others experience takes the cake in the automotive

industry. And the man I interviewed was a living

example of this. He had started when he was

fourteen and he is forty-five now, so cars are his

life. He said books can teach you but hands on experience is a lot better. When I got Floyd talking

he told me that cars are getting a lot more

advanced. ... Now that I know math is a big part of

cars I have changed my career options to being a

car salesman. I am happy I did this research

because if not I would not have known what I was

getting into.

This essay had a practical value to Aaron which he recognized. He learned

something important about his future options, and did not lose interest in

the topic.

Aaron's strongest expository essay explained the virtues of skate

boarding. His peer editor made these comments on his first draft: " I liked

the information about what a skateboard is made up of. It could be longer

and more informative. Like examples or an interview with pro skaters.

124


like him, too. As with all of his writing that I have read, i t is an honest

expression of Aaron's understanding of the assignment.

The longest essay Aaron wrote during the semester was nine pages,

and in i t he described the research he did about a possible career as a motor

mechanic. He wrote about the programs available for mechanics in the

province, w hat apprenticeship was like, the high school classes a student

needs before being adm itted to the formal program of study, and his

interview with a working mechanic. In the end, he rejected this career for

a variety of reasons:

T hrough m y research a n d interview, I found out th a t in som e cases schooling is im portant but in o thers experience takes the cake in the autom otive in d u stry . A n d the m a n I interviewed w as a liv ing exam ple o f this. He h a d started when he was fourteen a n d he is forty-five now, so cars are h is life. H e sa id books can teach you but hands on experience is a lot better. When I got F loyd ta lk in g he to ld m e tha t cars are getting a lot more advanced. ... Now th a t I know m ath is a big p a r t o f cars I have changed m y career options to being a car sa lesm an . I am happy I d id th is research because i f not I w ould not have know n w hat I was g e ttin g into.

This essay had a practical value to Aaron which he recognized. He learned

something im portant about his future options, and did not lose in terest in

the topic.

Aaron's strongest expository essay explained the virtues of skate

boarding. His peer editor made these comments on his first draft: " I liked

the information about what a skateboard is made up of. It could be longer

and more informative. Like examples or an interview with pro skaters.124


You didn't really say how skate boarding has changed in the last couple of

years. But it is an awesome topic, it was interesting." The opening

paragraph of the essay illustrates how Aaron is able to incorporate his

entertaining public voice when the topic seems worthwhile to him:

The board flew over the curb, the crowd oohing

and awing! Hitting the ground with a dreadful

thump, a young boy lay there looking dead, but he

got up quickly and rode to the next jump. He did a

dark slide smoothly and quickly that took my

breath away and followed it with a triple heel flip.

Wow, was this guy a good skater! I bet by now you

are wondering what this person is doing? He is

skate boarding and skating is the greatest sport

around.

The paper ended up being two pages, and represented considerable effort.

As he reminded me on his evaluation sheet, it was short "but single-

spaced." The paper is distinguished by its clarity of expression and logical

organization. Aaron knows what he is talking about, cares about the

subject and never got bored with the topic during the revision process. He

wrote about this subject for his biology research paper, also. For that paper,

he tried to teach a teenager and an older person how to do skate boarding

tricks. He kept track of each participant's "learning curve" and did some

reading about how people of different ages learn in order to back up his

findings.

I attended a skate boarding competition that Aaron participated in

and was astonished by the complexity of the sport. He is recognized as one

of the best skate-boarders in the community, and his skill is apparent even

to me, someone who knows almost nothing about the sport. I was pleased

to be invited to watch him compete, and was impressed by what I saw. 125


You didn't really say how skate boarding has changed in the last couple of

years. But it is an awesome topic, it was interesting." The opening

paragraph of the essay illustrates how Aaron is able to incorporate his

entertaining public voice when the topic seems worthwhile to him:

The board flew over the curb, the crow d oohing and awing! H ittin g the ground w ith a dread fu l thum p, a yo ung boy lay there looking dead, bu t he got up quickly a n d rode to the next ju m p . H e d id a dark slide sm ooth ly and quickly tha t took m y breath away a n d followed it w ith a trip le heel flip.Wow, was th is g u y a good ska ter! I bet by now you are wondering w hat th is person is d o in g ? H e is skate boarding and ska tin g is the g rea test sport around.

The paper ended up being two pages, and represented considerable effort.

As he reminded me on his evaluation sheet, it was short "but single

spaced." The paper is distinguished by its clarity of expression and logical

organization. Aaron knows what he is talking about, cares about the

subject and never got bored with the topic during the revision process. He

wrote about this subject for his biology research paper, also. For th a t paper,

he tried to teach a teenager and an older person how to do skate boarding

tricks. He kept track of each participant's "learning curve" and did some

reading about how people of different ages learn in order to back up his

findings.

I attended a skate boarding competition th a t Aaron participated in

and was astonished by the complexity of the sport. He is recognized as one

of the best skate-boarders in the community, and his skill is apparent even

to me, someone who knows almost nothing about the sport. I was pleased

to be invited to watch him compete, and was impressed by what I saw.125


Aaron and I have struggled together to achieve success in English class

and I learned something important about that too, when I watched him

skateboard. If I had to learn to skateboard, I know I could not persevere the

way Aaron has had to do, to learn essay writing. If I lived in a culture that

valued skate boarding above all else, the bruises and broken bones I would

suffer would defeat me. I know that I could not keep the optimistic attitude

Aaron has maintained in his mastery of a kind of learning that has been

very difficult for him.

Aaron in English elacs

Journal excerpt: I would change nothing. I think

it was fine and good.

Aaron uses writing to build self-confidence and relationships within

English class. Certainly, his effort to learn to write has forged a

relationship between him and me. Learning to write formal essays in

grade ten and eleven built up his self-confidence because he knew that

being able to write this way is important to succeeding in school. His

creative writing, particularly the pieces he reads in author's chair, has

given him the reputation of being very funny and entertaining. He has

emerged as a performer of his own words. I was surprised to learn in the

interview that he was not fully conscious of this ability. Other students

regularly urge him to read during writer's chair. Possibly the class enjoys

his writing not because of its quality but because of his personality. The

personality he invests in the words makes the writing popular. When he is

allowed to tell a story, or write about what he knows in his way, he is

genuinely entertaining and informative.

Aaron has success in collaborative writing if the purpose is to be

126


Aaron and I have struggled together to achieve success in English class

and I learned something im portant about that too, when I watched him

skateboard. If I had to learn to skateboard, I know I could not persevere the

way Aaron has had to do, to learn essay writing. If I lived in a culture tha t

valued skate boarding above all else, the bruises and broken bones I would

suffer would defeat me. I know th a t I could not keep the optimistic attitude

Aaron has maintained in his m astery of a kind of learning th a t has been

very difficult for him.

Aaron in E nglish class

Jo u rn a l excerpt: I w ou ld change nothing. I th ink it was fine and good.

Aaron uses writing to build self-confidence and relationships within

English class. Certainly, his effort to learn to write has forged a

relationship between him and me. Learning to write formal essays in

grade ten and eleven built up his self-confidence because he knew th a t

being able to write this way is im portant to succeeding in school. His

creative writing, particularly the pieces he reads in author’s chair, has

given him the reputation of being very funny and entertaining. He has

emerged as a performer of his own words. I was surprised to learn in the

interview th a t he was not fully conscious of this ability. Other students

regularly urge him to read during w riter’s chair. Possibly the class enjoys

his writing not because of its quality b u t because of his personality. The

personality he invests in the words makes the writing popular. When he is

allowed to tell a story, or write about what he knows in his way, he is

genuinely entertaining and informative.

Aaron has success in collaborative writing if the purpose is to be

126


entertaining. His work on the parody in chapter one is evidence of that.

Early in the semester he avoided working with other students on creative

projects, and the projects he did on his own were not as elaborate or

complex as other students' work. In his journal, he wrote, "I will usually

try to solve problems myself. Because I do not like the pressure of group

work." If however the work is oral, he does very well because he is able to

use his voice, facial expression and body language to create meaning.

In our school, the English department has a policy of using an in-

class essay as the final examination in our division four classes. During

the grade eleven final in June, Aaron raised his hand to indicate he wanted

to talk to me. I bent over his desk to hear his request, fully expecting to be

asked for specific guidance. Instead, Aaron whispered, "I know this don't

I?" I could safely reply, "Yes." That moment was one of the most

gratifying of my career.

During grade ten, Aaron was fascinated with a metal balancing man

toy I have sitting on my desk. The toy formerly sat on someone else's desk,

a relic of the days when executive toys were popular in gift catalogues. The

balancing man is made of four old-fashioned nails welded together in the

figure of a tight-rope walker carrying a weighted curved bar. The figure is

perched on a six inch stand and wavers precariously on its tiny pointed foot.

Even an air current caused by a student passing by my desk will move the

figure. The toy has been a favourite of my students for years. Although the

metaphor of the balancing man could apply to many students, I associate it

most closely with Aaron. He frequently played with it when I first met him.

In grade ten I told him he could have it as a graduation gift. He will get it

in the spring.

127


entertaining. His work on the parody in chapter one is evidence of that.

Early in the semester he avoided working with other students on creative

projects, and the projects he did on his own were not as elaborate or

complex as other students' work. In his journal, he wrote, "I will usually

try to solve problems myself. Because I do not like the pressure of group

work." If however the work is oral, he does very well because he is able to

use his voice, facial expression and body language to create meaning.

In our school, the English departm ent has a policy of using an in-

class essay as the final examination in our division four classes. During

the grade eleven fined in June, Aaron raised his hand to indicate he wanted

to talk to me. I bent over his desk to hear his request, fully expecting to be

asked for specific guidance. Instead, Aaron whispered, "I know this don't

I?" I could safely reply, "Yes." That moment was one of the most

gratifying of my career.

During grade ten, Aaron was fascinated with a metal balancing m an

toy I have sitting on my desk. The toy formerly sat on someone else's desk,

a relic of the days when executive toys were popular in gift catalogues. The

balancing m an is made of four old-fashioned nails welded together in the

figure of a tight-rope walker carrying a weighted curved bar. The figure is

perched on a six inch stand and wavers precariously on its tiny pointed foot.

Even an air current caused by a student passing by my desk will move the

figure. The toy has been a favourite of my students for years. Although the

metaphor of the balancing man could apply to many students, I associate i t

most closely with Aaron. He frequently played with it when I first met him.

In grade ten I told him he could have it as a graduation gift. He will get it

in the spring.

127


C. Roger

At the beginning of Roger's journal he included a "warning to the

reader":

My dear Mrs. Mulholland, As you no doubt have

determined this is my journal. I must confess

that I am not entirely aware of what belongs in it.

I must also apologize for the generally messy

writing and utter disorder of the entries. I hope

that you will be able to read and understand it.

Thank you, Sir Roger Jackson IV

In class I asked every student to respond to the writing survey

questions that I used to interview each student in the study. The following

excerpts from Roger's journal reveal his opinions of writing, and

specifically his own writing. Tentatively, Roger assesses the quality of his

work:

Am I a writer? No. I do not believe that I am a

writer. Although I do enjoy writing and do a fair

amount of it, I do not believe I do enough of it or

that I am particularly good at it.I am not sure how

people learn to write. It is my theory that writing

is like playing a musical instrument. It requires

practice, listening, "reading" and some talent.

Generally speaking, I am pleased with my writing. Although it is filtered with mistakes. At

times I read my writing and feel it effectively

conveys what I wanted to say. However, there are

other times when what I have written makes little

or no sense to me or any one else.

Roger's hesitancy reflects his view of writing as an art. Because he

128


C. Roger

At the beginning of Roger’s journal he included a "warning to the

reader":

M y dear M rs. M ulholland, A s you no doubt have determ ined th is is m y jou rn a l. I m u s t confess th a t I a m no t entirely aw are o f w h a t belongs in it.I m ust also apologize fo r the generally m essy w riting a n d u tter d isorder o f the entries. I hope th a t you w ill be able to read and understand it.T hank you, S ir Roger Jackson I V

In class I asked every student to respond to the writing survey

questions tha t I used to interview each student in the study. The following

excerpts from Roger’s journal reveal his opinions of writing, and

specifically his own writing. Tentatively, Roger assesses the quality of his

work:

A m I a w riter? No. I do not believe th a t I a m a writer. A lthough I do enjoy w riting a n d do a fa ir am ount o f it, I do not believe I do enough o f it or tha t I am particu larly good at it.I a m not sure how people learn to write. I t is my theory th a t w riting is like p la y in g a m usica l instrum ent. I t requires practice, listening, "reading" and som e talent.

Generally speaking, I a m pleased w ith m y writing. A lthough it is filtered w ith m istakes. A t tim es I read m y w riting a n d feel it effectively conveys w h a t I w anted to say. However, there are other tim es when w ha t I have w ritten m akes little or no sense to me or a ny one else.

Roger's hesitancy reflects his view of writing as an art. Because he

128


functions as an artist in other areas of his life, he is more critical of his

writing than other student writers of equal skill tend to be. Writing takes

him a long time. An in-class essay is a tortuous process for him. Whether

for school or in other areas of his life, his written work never seems to

satisfy him. As Roger, says, "it is never done."

Roger's connection to the writing community at school is an

interesting one. He is friends with many of the students who identify

themselves as writers and poets. For his first few years in high school, he

attended writing club meetings but did not bring writing very often. When

he did, the writing was usually done in collaboration with one of his

friends. His critical contributions to the workshop were respected by

students, presumably because of his insight. Roger has a "good ear", and

the serious writers in the club valued what he had to say about their work.

The most important writing Roger does is connected to public performance.

His involvement in Improv, a form of theatre arts games which is very

popular in school, is an example of his creative work which closely

resembles writing. Three of his contributions to class show this most

clearly: his "Dead Authors" presentation; his reading of a poem at the class

coffee house, and his film "Malls are Neat".

Roger and 'Dead Authors"

As an extensive reading assignment for class, Roger read the C.S.

Lewis novel The Screwtape Letters. Each student was required to find a

creative way to share their reading with the rest of the class. Roger wrote a

script and presented it to class with Daniel, another classmate. The copy of

the script in his folder reminded me that many students wanted to read the

book after they heard him talk about it. The following excerpt from the

script "Dead Authors" should show why: 129


functions as an artis t in other areas of his life, he is more critical of his

writing than other student writers of equal skill tend to be. Writing takes

him a long time. An in-class essay is a tortuous process for him. Whether

for school or in other areas of his life, his written work never seems to

satisfy him. As Roger, says, "it is never done."

Roger's connection to the writing community a t school is an

interesting one. He is friends with many of the students who identify

themselves as writers and poets. For his first few years in high school, he

attended w riting club meetings but did not bring writing very often. When

he did, the writing was usually done in collaboration with one of his

fnends. His critical contributions to the workshop were respected by

students, presumably because of his insight. Roger has a "good ear", and

the serious writers in the club valued what he had to say about their work.

The most im portant writing Roger does is connected to public performance.

His involvement in Improv, a form of theatre arts games which is very

popular in school, is an example of his creative work which closely

resembles writing. Three of his contributions to class show this most

clearly: his "Dead Authors" presentation; his reading of a poem a t the class

coffee house, and his film "Malls are Neat".

R oger and "Dead Authors^'

As an extensive reading assignm ent for class, Roger read the C.S.

Lewis novel The Screwtape Letters. Each student was required to find a

creative way to share their reading with the rest of the class. Roger wrote a

script and presented it to class with Daniel, another classmate. The copy of

the script in his folder reminded me th a t many students wanted to read the

book after they heard him talk about it. The following excerpt from the

script "Dead Authors" should show why:129


(Ann. is the announcer; Lewis is the author)

"Ann.: Good day ladies and gentlemen and

welcome to "Dead Authors," that entertaining and

educating show that lets you learn about really

good books. Today on our program we have a

special treat, that all time favourite author of so

many of us readers, C.S. Lewis, author of that all

time classic novel Gone With the Wind (Enter Mr.

Lewis) Welcome to our program Mr. Lewis. Now

tell me Mr. Lewis, what exactly does it take to

write a novel like Gone With the Wind?

Lewis: Well, I'm not exactly sure. You see, I

didn't actually write it. Ann.: I see. I see. You know it's funny you

should say that. I know so many authors that

have the very same problem.

Lewis: (Puzzled) You know of many authors who

have had the problem of not writing Gone With the

Wind?

Ann: Yes. It is absolutely appalling the number

of authors who ... (It dawns on him) ... Wait a

moment .. did you say you didn't write Gone With

the Wind?

Lewis: Ah yes I did Ann.: Oh, so you did write Gone with the Wind?

Lewis: No, I just said that yes I didn't write Gone

with the Wind.

Ann.: Oh dear, this casts rather a gloom over the

whole show. I am prepared to ask you questions about Gone With the Wind.

So far, no book report, but one does get the sense of the kind of writing

Robert enjoys most and does best: writing dialogue and writing

performance pieces for himself. He uses the opportunity of a creative

130


(Ann. is the announcer; Lew is is the author)'A nn .: Good day ladies a nd gentlem en a n d welcome to "Dead A u th o rs ," th a t en terta in ing a n d educating show th a t lets you learn about really good books. Today on our program we have a special treat, th a t a ll tim e favourite author o f so m any o f us readers, C.S. Lewis, au thor o f th a t a ll tim e classic novel Gone W ith the W ind (E n ter Mr. Lew is) Welcome to our program Mr. Lewis. N ow tell m e Mr. Lewis, w hat exactly does it take to write a novel like Gone W ith the W ind?Lew is: Well, I 'm not exactly sure. You see, I d id n 't actually write it.A nn .: I see. I see. You know it's fu n n y you shou ld say that. I know so m any authors th a t have the very sam e problem.Lew is: (Puzzled) You know o f m any au thors who have h a d the problem o f not w riting Gone W ith the W in d ?A n n : Yes. I t is absolutely appa lling the nu m b er o f authors who ... (It daw ns on h im ) ... W ait a m o m e n t.. d id you say you d id n 't write Gone W ith the W ind?Lewis: A h yes I d idA nn .: Oh, so you d id write Gone w ith the W in d ?Lewis: No, I ju s t sa id th a t yes I d id n 't write Gone w ith the W ind.A n n .: Oh dear, th is casts ra ther a gloom over the whole show. I a m prepared to a sk you questions about Gone W ith the Wind.

So far, no book report, but one does get the sense of the kind of writing

Robert enjoys most and does best: writing dialogue and writing

performance pieces for himself. He uses the opportunity of a creative

130


project to display his particular view of the world, his esoteric humour and

eventually, his reading of a book. After the interviewer and Lewis finally

sorted out their problems, the character Lewis was allowed to talk about his

book.

Ann.: What did you write?

Lewis: Oh a great number of things. In fact there

have been those who've said I am one of the most

influential Christian writers of our time, but I'm

far too modest to believe them. You see I was an

atheist for the first years of my life, and therefore I

had only been developing my beliefs for a short

period of time when I did my writing.

Ann (muttering): I ask for the author of Gong

With the Wind and I get the most influential

Christian writer of our time.

Lewis: Maybe God is sending you a sign?

Roger's humour is certainly evident here, and so is his command of the

dramatic form. He also appears to have done some research about Lewis,

but couches his disdain for the novel rather cleverly,

Ann: Would the average reader find this

interesting?

Lewis: Well, as I said before, if you want a

thoughtful look at Christianity it is an interesting

book. However, if you are interested in being entertained, I wouldn't recommend it.

"Dead Authors" shows Roger's sense of humour, and also his rather

quaint use of language. By writing a script, and giving himself a character

to play, he delivered an effective book report. The class reacted warmly, as

they did to his contribution to our group poetry reading.

131


project to display his particular view of the world, his esoteric hum our and

eventually, his reading of a book. After the interviewer and Lewis finally

sorted out their problems, the character Lewis was allowed to ta lk about his

book.

A nn.: W hat d id you w rite ?

Lewis: O h a great n u m b er o f th ings. In fac t there have been those w ho 've sa id I a m one o f th e m ost in flu en tia l C hristian w riters o f ou r tim e, bu t I 'm fa r too m odest to believe them. You see I w as an atheist fo r the firs t years o f m y life, a n d therefore I had only been developing m y beliefs for a short period o f tim e when I d id m y w riting .A n n (m uttering): I a sk for the a u th o r o f Gone W ith the W ind a n d I get the m ost in fluen tia l C hristian w riter o f o u r time.Lewis: M aybe God is send ing you a s ig n ?

Roger's humour is certainly evident here, and so is his command of the

dram atic form. He also appears to have done some research about Lewis,

b u t couches his disdain for the novel rather cleverly,

A nn: W ould the average reader f in d th is in te re s tin g ?Lewis: Well, as I sa id before, i f yo u w ant a though tfu l look a t C hristian ity it is an in teresting book. However, i f yo u are interested in being entertained, I w o u ld n 't recom m end it.

"Dead Authors" shows Roger's sense of humour, and also his ra th e r

quain t use of language. By writing a script, and giving him self a character

to play, he delivered an effective book report. The class reacted warmly, as

they did to his contribution to our group poetry reading.

131


Roger reads poetry

Delivered in a style reminiscent of Noel Coward in concert, Roger's

performance at the class coffee house showed his skill as a performer, but

not necessarily as a reader of poetry. At the coffee house, we burned

candles and read poems the students selected to read from a variety of texts.

Students were urged to bring something dark and potent to drink while the

readings took place. Each student was expected to read the poem "well"

and be prepared to discuss what it meant to them, and if possible, engage

the rest of the class in conversation about the poem. If they chose a poem

not in one of our anthologies, or read one of their own poems, they had to

supply copies of the poem for the rest of the class.

The following transcript includes Roger's reading of a very brief

poem "On the twenty-fourth of May" by D.G. Jones, and extraneous

comments from his classmates: Heather, Sandy, Jason, and Angela.

Roger rose to the podium and began speaking in a deep voice and a British

accent, suitable for an announcer on Masterpiece Theatre. Not everyone

present appeared to recognize the persona he adopted.

R: Good Day (* laughter) / Uh most of you will no

doubt be familiar with / cows / They are those rather large animals (* laughter) / Sometimes we use them for milk but uh anyone who has been around them will notice that they are exceedingly stupid animals

(* laughter) / I have found a poem that sort of / / it describes cows very well I think / it is on page 144 by G. G. Jones [sic] and its called "On the Twenty-

fourth of May " / And it goes (sweetly) something like this / (* laughter) (reading, hesitantly) Six cows lie or kneel in the green grass / / and are

132


Roger reads poetry

Delivered in a style reminiscent of Noel Coward in concert, Roger’s

performance a t the class coffee house showed his skill as a performer, but

not necessarily as a reader of poetry. At the coffee house, we burned

candles and read poems the students selected to read from a variety of texts.

Students were urged to bring something dark and potent to drink while the

readings took place. Each student was expected to read the poem "well"

and be prepared to discuss what it m eant to them, and if possible, engage

the rest of the class in conversation about the poem. If they chose a poem

not in one of our anthologies, or read one of their own poems, they had to

supply copies of the poem for the rest of the class.

The following transcript includes Roger's reading of a very brief

poem "On the twenty-fourth of May" by D.G. Jones, and extraneous

comments from his classmates: Heather, Sandy, Jason, and Angela.

Roger rose to the podium and began speaking in a deep voice and a British

accent, suitable for an announcer on Masterpiece Theatre. Not everyone

present appeared to recognize the persona he adopted.

R: Good Day (* laughter) / Uh most of you will no doubt be familiar w ith / cows / They are those ra th e r large animals(* laughter) / Sometimes we use them for milk but uh anyone who has been around them will notice th a t they are exceedingly stupid animals (* laughter) / I have found a poem th a t sort of / / it describes cows very well I think / it is on page 144 by G. G. Jones [sic] and its called "On the Twenty- fourth of May " / And it goes (sweetly) something like this / (* laughter) (reading, hesitantly) Six cows lie or kneel in the green grass / / and are

132


profoundly unmoved (* laughter) / because they're

cows (end of poem) no doubt / cows just aren't very

interesting animals I suppose (* laughter) / but

I've always wondered where cows come from /

because you know there are wild horses but there

are no wild cows (*laughter) / wild cows that once

roamed the plains (** major laughter)

The other students gamely try to talk about the poem, despite the rather

sketchy "reading" Roger has presented.

S: What about deer and elk / bison

R: Buffalo or something / I think cows come from

Africa S: They were domesticated in Europe right?

J: I thought they came from the Middle East

(Inaudible discussion)

H: In the Middle East aren't there wild cows

R: They have them in Egypt / that I know

H: But there is a cow in Africa which is really

closely related to our bison

V: Is it really

H: It has little bumpy skin things

R: They are extremely clumsy animals because

little fences that only come to here (motioning to

his waist) and they can't get over them / because

they are big (* laughter) H: Have you seen a cow get tangled in a fence

A: I have a cow

It is fairly clear that the conversation, however amusing, is not really going

anywhere, and Sandy tries, like Heather did before her, to help Roger out.

S: I have a question / what is the significance of 133


profoundly unmoved (* laughter) / because they’re cows (end of poem) no doubt / cows just a ren 't very interesting animals I suppose (* laughter) / but I've always wondered where cows come from / because you know there are wild horses but there are no wild cows (*laughter) / wild cows th a t once roamed the plains (** major laughter)

The other students gamely try to talk about the poem, despite the rather

sketchy "reading" Roger has presented.

S: W hat about deer and elk / bisonR: Buffalo or something / I think cows come fromAfricaS: They were domesticated in Europe right?J: I thought they came from the Middle E ast (Inaudible discussion)H: In the Middle E ast aren 't there wild cows R: They have them in Egypt / tha t I know H: But there is a cow in Africa which is really closely related to our bison V: Is it reallyH: It has little bumpy skin things R: They are extremely clumsy animals because little fences tha t only come to here (motioning to his waist) and they can’t get over them / because they are big (* laughter)H: Have you seen a cow get tangled in a fence A: I have a cow

It is fairly clear th a t the conversation, however amusing, is not really going

anywhere, and Sandy tries, like Heather did before her, to help Roger out.

S: I have a question / what is the significance of133


the title " On the twenty-fourth of May"?

R I have no idea

V: Does any one have an idea?

R: I thought maybe that's just kind of a special

day

J: It's a holiday

H: It's the Queen's birthday

R: Maybe just any day you know / no significance

V: It is the Queen's birthday

R: Is it / that might just be coincidence / maybe

that's what cows do on holidays observe the

queen's birthday (*laughter)

H: Let's move on (* laughter)

R: Look there are six Queen Victorias (pointing to

the page in the book) / they are like badly built

tents / because they are a poorly constructed

animal A: That is a good image

V: Badly built but built for milk production

R: But it is not healthy if you are a cow really

J: Those hormones are dangerous for us / that

they give to cows

Students gave up trying to talk about the poem from any perspective.

Vintage Roger. The class responded very enthusiastically to his very brief

presentation of a poem, not because of the depth of insight of the reader, but

because of the performance. It is not clear that very much time was spent

preparing his reading; however, it was considered a success by those

present. Students asked him to read another, but he declined.

Roger the film director

Later in the semester, Roger made a film titled "Malls are Neat."

His film production company, called Subterfuge Films, includes two other 134


the title " On the twenty-fourth of May"?R I have no ideaV: Does any one have an idea?R: I thought maybe that's ju s t kind of a special dayJ: It's a holidayH: It’s the Queen’s birthdayR: Maybe ju s t any day you know / no significanceV: It is the Queen's birthdayR: Is it / th a t might ju st be coincidence / maybethat's what cows do on holidays observe thequeen's birthday Slaughter)H: Let's move on (* laughter)R: Look there are six Queen Victorias (pointing to the page in the book) / they are like badly built tents / because they are a poorly constructed anim alA: That is a good image V: Badly built but built for milk production R: But it is not healthy if you are a cow really J: Those hormones are dangerous for us / tha t they give to cows

Students gave up trying to talk about the poem from any perspective.

Vintage Roger. The class responded very enthusiastically to his very brief

presentation of a poem, not because of the depth of insight of the reader, but

because of the performance. It is not clear th a t very much time was spent

preparing his reading; however, it was considered a success by those

present. Students asked him to read another, but he declined.

Roger the film director

Later in the semester, Roger made a film titled "Malls are Neat."

His film production company, called Subterfuge Films, includes two other134


friends, Josh and Annette. His film was sponsored by the Feudal Party of

Canada, a political organization of his own creation. Roger appears once in

the film, as a security guard, but the acting is done primarily by Josh,

Annette, his friend Jessica and his little brother Andrew. The opening

sequence is reminiscent of the film montages used to introduce situation

comedies on television. After the introduction is an eclectic mix: two mall

experts, played by Annette and Josh discuss the anthropology of malls;

Annette and Josh do an interpretive mall dance; a choir sings a song Roger

wrote about malls; and all this is followed by a series of man-on-the-street

interviews with randomly selected friends. Between segments, Roger

inserted subtitles to introduce themes, including the lines, "You can live,

die and learn to play the organ in a mall," and "Being in a mall is better

than being in a concentration camp," among others. The ironic tone of the

film was a hit with students, and it developed a minor cult following.

Students in my other classes asked to watch the film because the word in

the halls was that "it was cool."

Roger the writer

Roger's best writing is dramatic. He is interested in drama, he can

convey "meaning" using that form, but he doesn't get to write that way in

school very often. Even in his journal, his writing is like dialogue: he is

clearly writing to a reader, to an audience and not just to himself. Often the

writing resembles real speech, except that it does not have the repetition,

circling, and redundancy of real speech (Tannen, 1989). He uses

conversational interjections like "Ah yes," or "Oh pooh," to create the

illusion of speech, and writes scenes more often than the passages of

reflective writing most commonly found in high school journals. Thinking

about Roger the writer is impossible without considering Roger the 135


friends, Josh and Annette. His film was sponsored by the Feudal Party of

Canada, a political organization of his own creation. Roger appears once in

the film, as a security guard, b u t the acting is done prim arily by Josh,

Annette, his friend Jessica and his little brother Andrew. The opening

sequence is reminiscent of the film montages used to introduce situation

comedies on television. After the introduction is an eclectic mix: two mall

experts, played by Annette and Josh discuss the anthropology of malls;

Annette and Josh do an interpretive mall dance; a choir sings a song Roger

wrote about malls; and all th is is followed by a series of man-on-the-street

interviews with randomly selected friends. Between segments, Roger

inserted subtitles to introduce themes, including the lines, "You can live,

die and learn to play the organ in a mall," and "Being in a mall is better

than being in a concentration camp," among others. The ironic tone of the

film was a hit with students, and it developed a minor cult following.

Students in my other classes asked to watch the film because the word in

the halls was th a t "it was cool."

Roger the writer

Roger’s best writing is dramatic. He is interested in drama, he can

convey "meaning" using th a t form, but he doesn't get to write th a t way in

school very often. Even in his journal, his w riting is like dialogue: he is

clearly writing to a reader, to an audience and not ju st to himself. Often the

writing resembles real speech, except that it does not have the repetition,

circling, and redundancy of real speech (Tannen, 1989). He uses

conversational interjections like "Ah yes," or "Oh pooh," to create the

illusion of speech, and writes scenes more often than the passages of

reflective writing most commonly found in high school journals. Thinking

about Roger the w riter is impossible without considering Roger the135


performer. He has created a public persona that seeps into his written

work. During his interview, we discussed this connection, specifically the

relationship between ideas and emotions in drama.

R: Or emotions / in both you are trying to put someone else in new positions to see things from

different angles in that way / / / I'm not really sure

if improv could be considered poetry / I think it

could / but there are a lot of similarities actually

now that I think about / ... / it is sort of coming up

with ideas / probably the only thing that separates writing and improv would be the technical side /

the mechanics of it / because with writing you have to write something down on paper whereas with improv you are acting it out / but the rest is probably the same / the essence is the same

Toward the end of the semester, Roger's drama class presented a

collective creation about relationships. Roger appeared in several scenes.

In one, he played an atom, and in another, one of his most effective scenes,

he delivered a poignant monologue about the nature of friendship. He had

a part in creating both scenes. For Roger, writing is one of the arts,

another form of artistic expression.

R: Except / like I said how it manifests itself whether it is writing or acting or painting / even

music / its all the same thing coming out in different ways V: Yeah / because you're still negotiating with an audience R: Yeah and you're wanting to show people things / make them think about something / it is the

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performer. He has created a public persona tha t seeps into his written

work. During his interview, we discussed this connection, specifically the

relationship between ideas and emotions in drama.

R: Or emotions / in both you are trying to put someone else in new positions to see things from different angles in that way I I I I'm not really sure if improv could be considered poetry / I think it could / bu t there are a lot of similarities actually now th a t I think about / ... / it is sort of coming up with ideas / probably the only thing tha t separates writing and improv would be the technical side / the mechanics of it / because with writing you have to write something down on paper whereas with improv you are acting it out / but the rest is probably the same / the essence is the same

Toward the end of the semester, Roger's drama class presented a

collective creation about relationships. Roger appeared in several scenes.

In one, he played an atom, and in another, one of his most effective scenes,

he delivered a poignant monologue about the nature of friendship. He had

a part in creating both scenes. For Roger, writing is one of the arts,

another form of artistic expression.

R: Except / like I said how i t manifests itself whether it is writing or acting or painting / even music / its all the same thing coming out in different waysV: Yeah / because you're still negotiating with an audienceR: Yeah and you're wanting to show people things / make them think about something / it is the

136


same purpose

V: And sequence?

R: Getting things in the right order / you have

characters and you develop these characters / / / I

don't really know enough about writing / ... / well

nothing in art is ever finished I think it is always

going through that cycle / how can this be better /

how can I make it better

Student writers like Roger are less likely to progress when

transactional writing is privileged in school. What I was taught as a

teacher in training, and what I now know, is that students write more, and

write better, when they are encouraged to write in forms they feel confident

using. By developing relationships with students which permit the

inclusion of their interests and real experiences as a legitimate part of

curricular activities, the teacher is better able to help the student writer

improve. In Roger's case, being permitted to use his film company to

complete an assignment, for example, resulted in more effort and a

polished product. Other forms of writing follow, as the student's confidence

builds. Unfortunately, when so much attention is focused on formal

writing in school, students like Roger end up writing less than they would

when if options were available.

For example, in Roger's career research paper, he articulates his

goal for making a living rather well. In earlier pre-writing for this

assignment done in his journal, he wrote about not needing much money to

be contented, about his desire to help people and his propensity for doing

nothing. "I wish I could be paid for what I do best - namely, nothing. Oh

pooh ... it's not possible ... I have to find something else." In his paper, he

describes a perfect day in his life ten years from now, when he is happily

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same purpose V: And sequence?R: Getting things in the right order / you have characters and you develop these characters / I I I don't really know enough about writing I ... I well nothing in a rt is ever finished I think it is always going through tha t cycle / how can this be better / how can I make it better

Student writers like Roger are less likely to progress when

transactional writing is privileged in school. W hat I was taught as a

teacher in training, and what I now know, is th a t students write more, and

write better, when they are encouraged to write in forms they feel confident

using. By developing relationships with students which perm it the

inclusion of their interests and real experiences as a legitim ate part of

curricular activities, the teacher is better able to help the student writer

improve. In Roger's case, being permitted to use his film company to

complete an assignment, for example, resulted in more effort and a

polished product. O ther forms of writing follow, as the student’s confidence

builds. Unfortunately, when so much attention is focused on formal

writing in school, students like Roger end up writing less than they would

when if options were available.

For example, in Roger's career research paper, he articulates his

goal for making a living rather well. In earlier pre-writing for this

assignment done in his journal, he wrote about not needing much money to

be contented, about his desire to help people and his propensity for doing

nothing. "I wish I could be paid for what I do best - namely, nothing. Oh

pooh ... it's not possible ... I have to find something else." In his paper, he

describes a perfect day in his life ten years from now, when he is happily

137


employed. Not unexpectedly, he writes a "scene."

Somewhere in a small, yet not too tiny house, in a

temperate medium sized city somewhere, perhaps

Iceland ( I hear it's nice there), I would wake up

at a late, yet respectable, hour. I would then eat a

large and refreshing breakfast. After that I would

take my morning shower and proceed to get

dressed. I would choose from a large wardrobe of

snappy suits. Fully dressed and looking my

snappiest, I would grab my hat and briefcase,

head out the door and jump into my small, yet

comfortable car. I would then drive a short

distance to my place of employment located in a

large office building down town. (Maybe in the car

I would listen to Petula Clarke singing

"Downtown" to add some sense of occasion.)

Upon entering the building I would head over to

front desk and inform the staff they are doing a

smashing job and to carry on ... During the

leisurely walk to my office I would talk to staff

members. I would also inform them that they are

doing a very good job and to carry on. Once in my

office I would send memos, receive faxes, arrange

meetings, and do other generally business like

things. Every now and then members of the staff

would ask "I wonder what Roger does?" or "What

does Roger do all day?" But no one would wonder about me beyond that point. If they did I'd be out of a job, because in reality I am not really doing anything. I am simply employed by the company

to look like I'm doing something terribly

important. In essence, I would be the person who keeps morale up.

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employed. Not unexpectedly, he writes a "scene."

Somewhere in a sm all, yet not too tin y house, in a tem perate m ed ium sized city som ewhere, p e rh a p s Iceland ( I hear it's nice there), I w ould w ake up a t a late, ye t respectable, hour. I w ould then ea t a large and refreshing breakfast. A fte r tha t I w ou ld take m y m orning show er and proceed to get dressed. I would choose from a large wardrobe o f snappy suits. F ully dressed a n d looking m y snappiest, I would grab m y h a t a n d briefcase, head out the door a n d ju m p into m y sm all, y e t comfortable car. I w ould then drive a short distance to m y place o f em ploym ent located in a large office build ing dow n town. (M aybe in the car I would listen to Petula Clarke sing ing "Downtown " to a d d som e sense o f occasion.)

Upon entering the bu ild ing I w ould head over to front desk a n d inform the s ta f f they are doing a sm ashing jo b and to carry on ... D uring the leisurely w alk to m y office I w ould ta lk to s ta f f members. I would also inform them tha t they are doing a very good job a n d to carry on. Once in m y office I w ould send memos, receive faxes, arrange meetings, a n d do other generally business like things. Every now and then m em bers o f the s ta f f would ask "I wonder w hat Roger does?" or "W hat does Roger do all day?" B u t no one would w onder about me beyond tha t point. I f they d id I ’d be out o f a job, because in reality I am not really do ing anything. I am sim ply em ployed by the com pany to look like I 'm doing som ething terribly im portant. In essence, I w ould be the person who keeps m orale up.

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At the end of Roger's career paper, where he actually does write regular

expository prose, he concludes with this paragraph:

I now believe that I could be happy and successful

as a psychologist. Although it is clear that I will

never have the kind of work I imagined in my "day

in the life" segment, I believe that if I were to

become psychologist it would be an adequately

fulfilling occupation. Being a psychologist would

allow me to not be entirely bound to my work. I

would not have to worry about starving. Seldom

would I find that my job is boring and without

meaning. But above all these things, I would be

able to help people less fortunate than I, and

perhaps make a difference in the world somehow.

It is for all these reasons that I feel I could become

a psychologist.

Roger's conversations about writing, his dramatic writing and his

essays are among the most interesting I have read / seen / heard.

Sometimes he is described as unfocussed or disorganized by his teachers.

Roger does not find much within the formal curriculum to engage him in

school, and he does not complain about that, he simply makes the best of it.

He operates on the margins, shining when the opportunity presents itself.

Had he more opportunities to be fully engaged in what he clearly excels at,

namely performance and writing performance pieces, he could contribute

more to the learning in his classes. The English class mold does not

accommodate Roger easily, and it is too bad.

139


At the end of Roger's career paper, where he actually does write regular

expository prose, he concludes with th is paragraph:

I now believe th a t I cou ld be happy a n d successful a s a psychologist. A lth o u g h it is clear th a t I w ill never have the k in d o f w ork I im agined in m y "day in the life" segm ent, I believe th a t i f I were to become psychologist it w o u ld be an adequately fu lfillin g occupation. B e in g a psychologist w ould allow m e to not be entirely bound to m y work. I w ould not have to worry about starving. Seldom w ould I f in d th a t m y jo b is boring and w ithou t meaning. B u t above a ll these things, I w ou ld be able to help people less fo rtuna te than I, a n d perhaps m ake a difference in the w orld somehow.I t is for a ll these reasons th a t I feel I could become a psychologist.

Roger's conversations about writing, his dram atic writing and his

essays are among the most interesting I have read / seen / heard.

Sometimes he is described as unfocussed or disorganized by his teachers.

Roger does not find much within the formal curriculum to engage him in

school, and he does not complain about that, he simply makes the best of it.

He operates on the margins, shining when the opportunity presents itself.

Had he more opportunities to be fully engaged in what he clearly excels at,

namely performance and writing performance pieces, he could contribute

more to the learning in his classes. The English class mold does not

accommodate Roger easily, and it is too bad.

139


D. Sandy

Journal excerpt: When I think of poetry, I think of

some guy with a pony-tail, a leather vest and a dozen roses. I think of cutting out the poem from

the Globe and Mail every Saturday afternoon.

I met Sandy when she was in grade ten. Normally, her hair is

auburn but it seems to me for part of that year her hair was black. She was

part of a class that was mad for writing. I called them the charmed circle

and feared I might never have another class who possessed the same

enthusiasm that group had. Only twenty-one students were enrolled in the

class, and they adopted easily the methods of the writing workshop.

Whenever possible, Sandy wrote poetry.

In grade eleven, she continued to present herself as a poet. Her

writing folder includes all of the required assignments, but her preference

for creative writing, particularly for poetry, is obvious. In her journal, she

wrote:

Some poetry moves me. That's why I love it. Song lyrics are poetry because it's not like writing a

paragraph on something. Lyrics are usually full of images like poetry. ... The kind of poems I prefer to read are romantic ones with a wide use of the vocabulary. I love lots of imagery as well. My favourite poem is "The Highwayman" by Noyes because it is so romantic and I love the rhythm. The worst thing about poetry is the way we are taught to analyze it. When teaching poetry, a teacher should put less emphasis on whether it is bad or good. A teacher should explain what poetry is, how it can be used. The

140


D. Sandy

Jo u rn a l excerpt: W hen I th ink o f poetry, I th in k o f some g u y w ith a pony-ta il, a leather vest a n d a dozen roses. I th ink o f cu tting out the poem fro m the Globe a n d M ail every Sa turday afternoon.

I m et Sandy when she was in grade ten. Normally, her hair is

auburn bu t it seems to me for part of that year her hair was black. She was

part of a class th a t was mad for writing. I called them the charmed circle

and feared I might never have another class who possessed the same

enthusiasm th a t group had. Only twenty-one students were enrolled in the

class, and they adopted easily the methods of the writing workshop.

Whenever possible, Sandy wrote poetry.

In grade eleven, she continued to present herself as a poet. Her

writing folder includes all of the required assignments, bu t her preference

for creative writing, particularly for poetry, is obvious. In her journal, she

wrote:

Som e poetry moves me. Tha t's why I love it. So n g lyrics are poetry because it's not like w riting a paragraph on som ething. Lyrics are usua lly fu l l o f im ages like poetry. ... The k ind o f poem s I prefer to read are rom antic ones w ith a w ide use o f the vocabulary. I love lots o f imagery as well.M y favourite poem is "The H ighw aym an" by Noyes because it is so rom antic a n d I love the rhythm . The worst th in g about poetry is the w ay we are ta u g h t to analyze it. When teaching poetry, a teacher shou ld p u t less em phasis on w hether i t is bad or good. A teacher should explain w ha t poetry is, how it can be used. The

140


worst is having to compare it to other poems or

stories. Art should be appreciated, not judged.

How a poet copes with a standard introductory assignment

To learn the names of students in the class, and to allow students to

get to know each other better, on the first day of class I, like many other

teachers, ask students to work in pairs and interview each other. Each

student is responsible for writing "a piece" based on the notes recorded

during their interview. Typically, students produce paragraphs beginning

with phrases such as, "Kevin was born in Regina sixteen years ago," or

"Meagan attends grade eleven and lives on a farm." Not Sandy. Sandy

wrote a poem about her subject, Rhiannon. In grade nine, they had been

best friends, but two years had passed since then, and two years is a long

time when you are sixteen.

This is her poem, written to introduce Rhiannon to the class:

"Rhiannon Arnason" by Sandy I remember the time The Foolish, and dangerous time When the two of us were close We would run drunk and half naked With all the rest of the girls We would spend hours sleeping A few too many pills We would hypnotize and now, Realizing. Jeopardize our lives But at the time - it seems more important That we had been jeopardizing our friendship. Moving on, different crowds, in a building We now call our second home. It's a shame things were lost

141


worst is having to compare it to other poem s or stories. A r t should be appreciated, not judged .

How a poet copes w ith a standard introductory assignm ent

To learn the names of students in the class, and to allow students to

get to know each other better, on the first day of class I, like m any other

teachers, ask students to work in pairs and interview each other. Each

student is responsible for writing "a piece" based on the notes recorded

during their interview. Typically, students produce paragraphs beginning

with phrases such as, "Kevin was bom in Regina sixteen years ago," or

"Meagan attends grade eleven and lives on a farm." Not Sandy. Sandy

wrote a poem about her subject, Rhiannon. In grade nine, they had been

best fnends, but two years had passed since then, and two years is a long

time when you are sixteen.

This is her poem, written to introduce Rhiannon to the class:

"Rhiannon A rnason" by S a n d y I rem em ber the tim e The Foolish, a n d dangerous tim e W hen the two o f us were close We w ould run d ru n k a n d h a l f naked W ith a ll the rest o f the g irls We w ould spend hours sleeping A few too m any p ills We w ould hypnotize and now,R ea liz ing .Jeopardize our livesB u t a t the tim e - it seems more im portan t T ha t we had been jeopard izing our fr ien d sh ip .M oving on, d ifferent crowds, in a bu ild ing We now call our second home.I t 's a sham e th ings were lost

141


And I miss those days

And I regret not knowing you again

After all this time

When the assignment was given, I did not prescribe the form, but

predictably, most students assumed they were to write a paragraph. A few

keen students wrote a page. Significantly, the draft of Sandy's poem

reveals an attempt to write prose. Sandy crossed out two topic sentences,

"My impression of Rhiannon was that she seems like a very pleasant girl,"

and "Rhiannon is excellent at cheering up people and has a very fun

personality." Presumably, neither line inspired her enough to continue.

Once she abandoned the standard form, and began writing a poem, her

words appear to have flowed freely. Only two lines were crossed out on the

draft of the poem. "You were my best friend" was replaced with "the two of

us were close." Originally, the opening line was "Dear Rhiannon" but by

the time the piece was finished, this more intimate line was rejected and

not replaced. In her pre-writing notes, Sandy recorded that Rhiannon had

an interest in New Age poetry, but this information was not included in

either the draft or the edited copy of her poem. In my re-creation of their

interview, I wonder if Rhiannon offered that information as a gesture of

friendship to Sandy. Old friends sometimes replicate old patterns for the

sake of memory. Sandy did not read this poem to the class, but Rhiannon

got a copy for her folder.

A sixteen year old poet imagines life as a journalist

Sandy responded to the journal prompt "imagine a perfect day in

your life ten years from today" with unexpected enthusiasm. Her entry

ended up being two pages long, and later was included in the introduction

142


A n d I m iss those daysA n d I regret not know ing you againA fte r a ll th is tim e

When the assignm ent was given, I did not prescribe the form, but

predictably, most students assumed they were to write a paragraph. A few

keen students wrote a page. Significantly, the draft of Sandy's poem

reveals an attem pt to write prose. Sandy crossed out two topic sentences,

"My impression of Rhiannon was th a t she seems like a very pleasant girl,"

and "Rhiannon is excellent a t cheering up people and has a very fun

personality." Presumably, neither line inspired her enough to continue.

Once she abandoned the standard form, and began writing a poem, her

words appear to have flowed freely. Only two lines were crossed out on the

draft of the poem. "You were my best friend" was replaced with "the two of

us were close." Originally, the opening line was "Dear Rhiannon" but by

the time the piece was finished, this more intim ate line was rejected and

not replaced. In her pre-writing notes, Sandy recorded th a t Rhiannon had

an in terest in New Age poetry, but this information was not included in

either the draft or the edited copy of her poem. In my re-creation of their

interview, I wonder if Rhiannon offered tha t information as a gesture of

friendship to Sandy. Old friends sometimes replicate old patterns for the

sake of memory. Sandy did not read this poem to the class, but Rhiannon

got a copy for her folder.

A sixteen year old poet im agines life as a journalist

Sandy responded to the journal prompt "imagine a perfect day in

your life ten years from today" with unexpected enthusiasm. Her entry

ended up being two pages long, and later was included in the introduction

142


of her career research paper. On a number of occasions, Sandy

acknowledged that poetry would always be part of her life, but that

realistically speaking, broadcast journalism was a more suitable choice for

an occupation. The following reveals Sandy's dream day of the future.

It is August 26, 2006. 1 had been spending

every waking hour with my husband, Aiden

Quinn, my baby, cooking, cleaning and working

as a journalist. ... My husband took our child

away for the day to visit his family. I am alone. It

is Saturday, a hassle-free, do-anything-you-want-

to kind of day. Perfect.

Our house is fairly large for three people

and a dog, but I love it. It is late summer, the

trees and grass, still green. I live just out side of

Toronto in a large, delicate farm house. It is

amazing and I know that this Saturday will be as

well. ... The house is all white; the only colour is

provided by our collection of Monets and fresh

flowers from our garden. I grab myself a cigarette

and go outside to the deck. I have long dark hair,

pulled up, and am wearing a white silk

nightgown. My thirteen old boxer dog, Kane, sits at my feet and I pull out a book to read. ...

I have one room in the house that is mine alone. The room is split in two. On one half I

have a white shag carpet with a comfy couch. The other half has a green marble tile floor, a desk

and my typewriter. I have an excellent stereo system built into one wall, and I listen to classical music all of the time. One window covers an entire wall. I also have a cushioned window seat for thinking, and for sitting on while I drink

143


of her career research paper. On a number of occasions, Sandy

acknowledged th a t poetry would always be part of her life, bu t tha t

realistically speaking, broadcast journalism was a more suitable choice for

an occupation. The following reveals Sandy’s dream day of the future.

I t is A u g u st 26, 2006. I h ad been spend ing every w a k in g hour w ith m y husband, A iden Q uinn, m y baby, cooking, cleaning a n d w orking as a jo u rn a lis t. ... M y h u sband took our child aw ay for th e day to v is it h is fam ily. I am alone. I t is S a tu rd a y , a hassle-free, do-any th ing -you-w an t- to k in d o f day. Perfect.

O ur house is fa ir ly large for three people an d a dog, bu t I love it. I t is late sum m er, the trees a n d grass, s till green. I live ju s t out side o f Toronto in a large, delica te fa rm house. I t is am azing a n d I know th a t th is Sa tu rd a y w ill be a s w ell.

... T he house is a ll white; the only colour is provided by our collection o f M onets a nd fresh flow ers fro m our garden . I grab m y se lf a cigarette a n d go ou tside to the deck. I have long dark ha ir, p u lled up, a n d am w earing a white silk nightgow n. M y th ir teen o ld boxer dog, Kane, s i ts a t m y feet a n d I p u ll ou t a book to read. ...

I have one room in the house th a t is m ine alone. The room is sp lit in two. On one h a lf I have a w h ite shag carpet w ith a com fy couch. The other h a l f has a green m arble tile floor, a desk a n d m y typewriter. I have an excellent stereo system b u ilt into one w all, and I listen to classical m usic a ll o f the tim e. One w indow covers an entire wall. I also have a cushioned w indow sea t fo r th in k in g , and fo r s ittin g on while I d rink

143


margaritas. Only after I accomplish something

big, of course.

Sandy's fantasy of her future does not interfere with her view of

journalism. During the semester, the class tracked three sensational

news stories and assessed how the stories written about the events affected

their understanding. Writing about the Jessica Dubroff story (the seven

year old aviator who crashed her plane outside of Denver, Colorado in

April, 1996, killing all aboard, including her father and flight instructor),

Sandy considers the responsibilities of journalists very seriously. Her

strong feelings about the parents, whom she described in her journal as

"lunatics, or maybe even murderers," are balanced with her desire to be

fair.

I would love to interview Ms. Dubroff

[Jessica's mother]. As far as I'm concerned, she

either belongs in a psychiatric hospital or a prison. However, I think I could walk into a room

to speak with her with an open mind. I would

trust her words over the dozens of different news

stories written by journalists. I would ask her: What was Jessica like?

How many children do you have? What did you

think were the odds of Jessica making the trip? Why was she in the plane? Did you have to persuade her? Would you bring her back knowing she'd be an average little girl, or is it better

knowing she died doing something she loved? Do you feel at all guilty about your daughter's death?

In her career research paper, Sandy states that she is interested in

journalism because "important stories produce interesting, controversial

144


margaritas. O nly a fte r I accom plish som eth ing big, o f course.

Sandy's fantasy of her future does not interfere with her view of

jou rna lis m . During the semester, the class tracked three sensational

news stories and assessed how the stories w ritten about the events affected

their understanding. Writing about the Jessica Dubroff story (the seven

year old aviator who crashed her plane outside of Denver, Colorado in

April, 1996, killing all aboard, including her father and flight instructor),

Sandy considers the responsibilities of journalists very seriously. Her

strong feelings about the parents, whom she described in her journal as

"lunatics, or maybe even murderers," are balanced with her desire to be

fair.

I would love to interview M s. D ubro ff [Jessica's mother]. A s fa r as I 'm concerned, she either belongs in a psychia tric hospita l or a prison. However, I th in k I could w alk in to a room to speak w ith her w ith an open m ind . I would trust her words over the dozens o f d ifferen t news stories w ritten by journa lis ts .

I would ask her: W hat was Jessica lik e ?How m any children do you have? W hat d id you th ink were the odds o f Jessica m a k in g the trip?Why was she in the plane? Did you have to persuade her? W ould you bring her back know ing she'd be an average little girl, or is it better know ing she d ied do ing som ething she loved? Do you feel a t a ll g u ilty about your daugh ter 's death?

In her career research paper, Sandy states th a t she is interested in

journalism because "important stories produce interesting, controversial

144


debates and possible changes for the future." She thinks journalists should

"provide all the points of view possible about a story. I always need choices

laid out for me. I have trouble noticing what is not there, I think others do,

too." The pragmatic, socially conscious side of Sandy is revealed in her

paper about her career choices. She may be a poet, but she knows she will

have to earn a living, and she wants to earn her living with words.

Sandy, the poet, strikes a chord with her peers

Only three students decided to read their own poetry at the class

coffee house and Sandy was one of them. In our conversation she said

people usually react with silence to her reading. She was right. The

following excerpt from the taped poetry reading and discussion done in

class shows students' reactions to her work. Other classmates, namely

Heather, Fawn, Roger, Marnie, Noel, Don, Leslie and Angela, participate

in the discussion of her poem.

S: Mm / the other one I'm going to do you don't have so / Splashing / this is called Splashing H: Quiet everybody S: (reading) Okay / yeah / do we all have an understanding here / okay / Splashing / One day of silence / a calming serenity / but we can push and stop our breathing in between / like a death / nothing / / breath slow irregular and empty / I'm feeling young again this absence from hope and pleasure / dirty soiled and afraid / it all feels so horrible / but I will smile in my delight because we were supposed to / stop the breathing in between / you just can't think at that point / it is good and irrelevant / so is it true or even worthwhile / or is it like being young / young and

.145


debates and possible changes for the future." She thinks journalists should

"provide all the points of view possible about a story. I always need choices

laid out for me. I have trouble noticing what is not there, I think others do,

too." The pragmatic, socially conscious side of Sandy is revealed in her

paper about her career choices. She may be a poet, but she knows she will

have to earn a living, and she wants to earn her living w ith words.

Sandy, the poet, strikes a chord w ith her peers

Only three students decided to read their own poetry a t the class

coffee house and Sandy was one of them. In our conversation she said

people usually react with silence to her reading. She was right. The

following excerpt from the taped poetry reading and discussion done in

class shows students' reactions to her work. Other classmates, namely

Heather, Fawn, Roger, M amie, Noel, Don, Leslie and Angela, participate

in the discussion of her poem.

S: Mm / the other one I'm going to do you don’t have so / Splashing / this is called Splashing H: Quiet everybodyS: (reading) Okay / yeah / do we all have anunderstanding here / okay / Splashing/ One day of silence / a calming serenity / but wecan push and stop our breathing in between / likea death / nothing / / breath slow irregular andempty / I'm feeling young again this absence fromhope and pleasure / dirty soiled and afraid / it allfeels so horrible / but I will smile in my delightbecause we were supposed to / stop the breathingin between / you just can't think a t that point / it isgood and irrelevant / so is it true or evenworthwhile / or is it like being young / young and

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empty blurred repetitive / boring and fun simple

young and brilliant / stupid for being dirty and

boring / but I am sober and hopeful and a little

insane / but is it wrong wrong to break a sequence

/ wrong to hold my breath

/ / / (long silence in class; no one comments for

two minutes)

S: Yeah (* laughter)

(Inaudible responses from students talking to

themselves)

The students' reaction was predictable. Sandy distributed a copy of the

poem at the beginning of the period, not giving the students enough time to

read, think and process the words. They also needed more time to adjust to

hearing an author read her own poem. After reading the poem silently,

and thinking a while longer, Fawn spoke up.

F: What is this about?

S: This is about a time in my life when I was

kinda retarded (* laughter) / and there was a whole crew of us

who were kind of retarded / and we just / it was / all these emotions / like I was faced with all these

emotions / they kinda contradict each other but at

different times this is how I think I felt / it kinda

came out at me and stuff like that / / I don't know /

yeah (acknowledging another question) A: Did you write it at the time?

S: No

R: This is a reflection?

S: Yeah R: That is very interesting

S: So yeah / / /

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empty blurred repetitive / boring and fun simple young and brilliant / stupid for being dirty and boring / but I am sober and hopeful and a little insane / but is it wrong wrong to break a sequence / wrong to hold my breathI I I (long silence in class; no one comments for two minutes)S: Yeah (* laughter)(Inaudible responses from students talk ing to themselves)

The students' reaction was predictable. Sandy distributed a copy of the

poem a t the beginning of the period, not giving the students enough time to

read, think and process the words. They also needed more time to adjust to

hearing an author read her own poem. After reading the poem silently,

and thinking a while longer, Fawn spoke up.

F: W hat is this about?S: This is about a time in my life when I was kinda retarded(* laughter) / and there was a whole crew of us who were kind of retarded / and we ju st / i t was / all these emotions / like I was faced with all these emotions / they kinda contradict each other but at different times this is how I think I felt / it kinda came out a t me and stuff like that I I I don't know / yeah (acknowledging another question)A: Did you write it a t the time?S: NoR: This is a reflection?S: YeahR: That is very interesting S: So yeah I I I

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M: It is about real experience?

S: Yeah it is about everything / at that time

At this point I intervened and asked whether anyone else in the class could

recognize the experience Sandy dealt with in the poem. I had observed

students talking between themselves quietly, giving signs that indicated

they recognized the subject matter. Noel's response changed the tone of the

conversation, and the talk became more rapid and excited.

N: Oh yeah / I was there

R: It is not good to hold your breath

M: I like how you used that word repetitive / that

is really good

S: I like that it doesn't rhyme

D: I like the part about the water puddle / because

it could have been a lot deeper than that / I am

following the poem / something worse could have

happened / like splashing around trying to find

something / yourself / that is what I see of myself / like finding where you are

L: Drowning (* laughter)

When Roger made his first remark about breath, it was ignored. I think

many of the students assumed he was making a casual joke. He spoke

again, but framed his remark as a question, and was taken more seriously.

R: What about the breath part?

S: Like is it wrong to hold my breath

R: You could suffocate that way (not being funny) S: Well yeah but at the time / / I don't know / it is a

personal thing but makes sense to me A.: I don't understand what it is about S: Think about the park days when

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M: It is about real experience?S: Yeah i t is about everything / a t th a t time

At th is point I intervened and asked whether anyone else in the class could

recognize the experience Sandy dealt with in the poem. I had observed

students talking between themselves quietly, giving signs th a t indicated

they recognized the subject m atter. Noel's response changed the tone of the

conversation, and the talk became more rapid and excited.

N: Oh yeah / 1 was thereR: It is not good to hold your breathM: I like how you used th a t word repetitive / thatis really goodS: I like tha t it doesn't rhyme D: I like the part about the water puddle / because it could have been a lot deeper than th a t / 1 am following the poem / something worse could have happened / like splashing around trying to find something / yourself / th a t is w hat I see of myself / like finding where you are L: Drowning (* laughter)

When Roger made his first rem ark about breath, it was ignored. I think

many of the students assumed he was making a casual joke. He spoke

again, b u t framed his rem ark as a question, and was taken more seriously.

R: What about the breath part?S: Like is it wrong to hold my breathR: You could suffocate th a t way (not being funny)S: Well yeah but a t the time I I I don't know / it is a personal thing but makes sense to me A.: I don't understand what it is about S: Think about the park days when

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N: When we were retarded

S: Yeah when everything was / anything and

everything was happening

V: By park days / do you mean racing along the

park at the creek / do you mean that one /

remember when someone wrote that poem /

Heather you were there and I think you were too

Sandy when someone wrote a poem describing the

park at night

H: That was our class

N: The smell of vomit as the defining

characteristic

(* laughter)

A: Was that me

L: Shannon wrote that / Shannon wrote that poem

S: Who is Shannon

V: Shannon wrote this poem about the park at

night / (* laughter and inaudible recognition of those park days)

The park the students recognized and related to is located just a few blocks

from the school. I have taken students there to write, and on one occasion

two rambunctious ones ended up falling in the waterfall pond. The park

creates images and memories for me, too. The events the students refer to

are quite different. The park is where young teenagers in the

neighbourhood gather to experiment in a whole variety of legal and illegal

rites of passage. Shannon, the author of the earlier poem referred to in the

discussion, dropped out of school earlier in the year. The mention of

Shannon seemed to make the discussion more serious.

Sandy offered to read another of her poems. There is inaudible

chatter as class prepares to hear another one. Then there is silence. The

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N: When we were retardedS: Yeah when everything was / anything andeverything was happeningV: By park days / do you mean racing along thepark a t the creek / do you mean th a t one /remember when someone wrote th a t poem /Heather you were there and I think you were tooSandy when someone wrote a poem describing thepark a t nightH: That was our classN: The smell of vomit as the definingcharacteristic(* laughter)A: Was th a t meL: Shannon wrote th a t / Shannon wrote th a t poem S: Who is ShannonV: Shannon wrote this poem about the park a t night /(* laughter and inaudible recognition of those park days)

The park the students recognized and related to is located ju s t a few blocks

from the school. I have taken students there to write, and on one occasion

two rambunctious ones ended up falling in the waterfall pond. The park

creates images and memories for me, too. The events the students refer to

are quite different. The park is where young teenagers in the

neighbourhood gather to experiment in a whole variety of legal and illegal

rites of passage. Shannon, the author of the earlier poem referred to in the

discussion, dropped out of school earlier in the year. The mention of

Shannon seemed to make the discussion more serious.

Sandy offered to read another of her poems. There is inaudible

chatter as class prepares to hear another one. Then there is silence. The

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students listen carefully, with none of the restlessness of earlier readings

evident.

S: This stuff / I like / this year / I wrote it this year

/ ok / "Passing Time" (Reading) With less than four miles to go I stopped

/ out of breath I am humbled and pushed for another few feet / This is it folks the narrator said in monotone grab your luggage and be on your

way I'm afraid there is nothing for you here /

Suitcase in hand comb gum and a pack of smokes

in pocket / I felt empty and heavy fresh and disgusting / maybe it was fun but I know I was

boring irrelevant / I can't breathe you guys I whimpered / they took every piece of me but still I asked for sympathy / the other two hand in hand / don't fade / fall in time / this is the way / with less than two miles to go I stopped / sank into the dark

pull of asphalt and closed my eyes / I cried I sang

and god how I wanted to kill / questions left unanswered / my heart beat left racing / but then I opened my eyes and it was hot / my feet were running up the road ahead / testing us defeating us suppressing us / being us / ruined eventually / I felt like going / a game of selfishness as a tease to the power / my pride would not allow it so on I

go / one foot in front of the other / / / (long silence) yeah (* laughter) M: Is this about something that happened to you? S: Yeah N: Not literally S: No / it could be looked at it that way you know

By this time, the class seems wrapped up in listening. To me, it is a time of

pure poetry. No goofing around, just listening and thinking. A similar

feeling was created when Noel read poems written by her sister's husband,

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students listen carefully, with none of the restlessness of earlier readings

evident.

S: This stuff / I like / th is year / I wrote it this year / ok / "Passing Time"(Reading) With less th an four miles to go I stopped / out of breath I am humbled and pushed for another few feet / This is it folks the narrator said in monotone grab your luggage and be on your way I'm afraid there is nothing for you here /Suitcase in hand comb gum and a pack of smokes in pocket / I felt empty and heavy fresh and disgusting / maybe it was fun but I know I was boring irrelevant / I can 't breathe you guys I whimpered / they took every piece of me but still I asked for sympathy / the other two hand in hand / don't fade / fall in time / this is the way / with less than two miles to go I stopped / sank into the dark pull of asphalt and closed my eyes / I cried I sang and god how I wanted to kill / questions left unanswered / my h ea rt beat left racing / but then I opened my eyes and i t was hot / my feet were running up the road ahead / testing us defeating us suppressing us / being us / ruined eventually /I felt like going / a game of selfishness as a tease to the power / my pride would not allow it so on I go / one foot in front of the other I I I (long silence) yeah (* laughter)M: Is this about something that happened to you?S: Yeah N: Not literallyS: No / it could be looked a t it that way you know

By this time, the class seems wrapped up in listening. To me, it is a time of

pure poetry. No goofing around, ju s t listening and thinking. A similar

feeling was created when Noel read poems written by her sister's husband,149


whom she described as "a real honest-to-god poet." Being published

catches the students' attention, providing the poet is someone they know, or

at least is someone that another student knows. Margaret Atwood is

published too, but it's not the same thing. It is the power of the personal.

The importance of feeling connected to the work cannot be over-

emphasized. Sandy reads one more poem titled "Faint but Ringing."

Heather responds first:

S: Ok now that I'm boring everyone

H: You're not R: Everybody is just busy thinking

L: We're so awed N: It is very deep

In our interview, Sandy and I talked about her public's reaction to

her poetry. Her public in this sense is distinct from her circle of poetry

friends. She was not unhappy about the discussions that developed after

her reading. She recognized that her poem about the park days, which

involved carousing late into the night, had the biggest impact on the class.

I asked her about her reaction the student's comments, and she replied, "I

usually try to say things that are well thought out / I think I can write

fairly well."

Sandy the poet avoids traditional modes of classroom discourse. Her

devotion to poetry does not translate into big success as an English student.

Northrup Frye (1988) wrote that poetry is at the core of literature, but

Sandy's English teachers have not shared that view. For the most part, the

official school culture has kept her writing outside the classroom, outside of

the school. To me the exclusion of Sandy's passion for writing poetry from

the classroom is deeply troubling. A great irony. I am saddened by the lack

of attention her poetry writing has received in English classes. But Sandy is

150


whom she described as "a real honest-to-god poet." Being published

catches the students’ attention, providing the poet is someone they know, or

a t least is someone th a t another student knows. M argaret Atwood is

published too, bu t it's not the same thing. I t is the power of the personal.

The importance of feeling connected to the work cannot be over

emphasized. Sandy reads one more poem titled "Faint bu t Ringing."

H eather responds first:

S: Ok now tha t I'm boring everyone H: You're notR: Everybody is ju s t busy thinking L: We’re so awed N: It is very deep

In our interview, Sandy and I talked about her public's reaction to

her poetry. Her public in this sense is distinct from her circle of poetry

friends. She was not unhappy about the discussions th a t developed after

her reading. She recognized th a t her poem about the park days, which

involved carousing late into the night, had the biggest impact on the class.

I asked her about her reaction the student’s comments, and she replied, "I

usually try to say things that are well thought out / I th ink I can write

fairly well."

Sandy the poet avoids traditional modes of classroom discourse. H er

devotion to poetry does not translate into big success as an English student.

Northrup Frye (1988) wrote th a t poetry is a t the core of literature, but

Sandy's English teachers have not shared th a t view. For the most part, the

official school culture has kept her writing outside the classroom, outside of

the school. To me the exclusion of Sandy’s passion for writing poetry from

the classroom is deeply troubling. A great irony. I am saddened by the lack

of attention her poetry writing has received in English classes. But Sandy is150


not bitter. She said, "It was my grade seven teacher that triggered it with

me I suppose / she / like I'd write something and she'd go that's good and

I'd try another one."

E. Jackie

Another note from Jackie:

Mrs. Mulholland, Sorry for not getting this to you

earlier but I forgot the outline at home at lunch. ...

I'm not really satisfied with my essay at all - it

was one of those days when writing just didn't

come together. Thanks, Jackie.

The note was attached to a revised draft which Jackie wanted me to

edit. The messy sheaf of papers eventually became a solid personal essay.

Initially, she had ripped up the draft in frustration, but then she stapled it

back together. The first try at writing the essay, she knew, was too broad

and unfocussed. Rather than writing about all the topics in the original

draft, which had included descriptions of all the items in her bedroom that

she treasured, she decided to write about one topic only. She wrote a well-

organized five-page reflective essay describing dried roses she keeps in her

bedroom. All of the bouquets came from different boyfriends and

represented important stories of her life. In the time I have known Jackie,

this episode is the closest she ever came to experiencing writer's block, if

being stymied by having too much to write about can be considered a block.

Generally, Jackie has confidence in herself as a writer, as shown by her

comments about her writing in her journal:

Journal excerpt: Yes, I am a writer. For as long as I can remember, I have loved to use my

imagination by writing stories, poems, and

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not b itter. She said, "It was my grade seven teacher th a t triggered it with

me I suppose / she / like I'd write something and she'd go that's good and

I'd try another one."

EL JackieAnother note from Jackie:

Mrs. M u lho lland , Sorry for not ge tting th is to you earlier bu t I forgot the outline a t home a t lunch. ...I 'm not really sa tisfied w ith m y essay a t a ll * it was one o f those days w hen w riting ju s t d id n 't come together. T h a n ks, Jackie.

The note was attached to a revised draft which Jackie wanted me to

edit. The messy sheaf of papers eventually became a solid personal essay.

Initially, she had ripped up the draft in frustration, but then she stapled it

back together. The first try a t writing the essay, she knew, was too broad

and unfocussed. R ather th an writing about all the topics in the original

draft, which had included descriptions of all the items in her bedroom th a t

she treasured, she decided to write about one topic only. She wrote a well-

organized five-page reflective essay describing dried roses she keeps in her

bedroom. All of the bouquets came from different boyfriends and

represented im portant stories of her life. In the time I have known Jackie,

this episode is the closest she ever came to experiencing writer's block, if

being stymied by having too much to write about can be considered a block.

Generally, Jackie has confidence in herself as a writer, as shown by her

comments about her writing in her journal:

Jo u rn a l excerpt: Yes, I am a writer. For as long as I can rem em ber, I have loved to use m y im ag ina tion by w ritin g stories, poems, a n d

151


articles. Writing is almost a hobby for me and I

think that I have a talent for it. People write for a

number of different reasons. Some because they

enjoy it and others as an escape from reality.

Writing is very therapeutic and can be used as a

relaxation technique.

I think that writing has to come from the heart in order to be good literature. In order to write well ,

you have to extend your boundaries and reach into

a whole other world. Imagination and creativity make for very interesting pieces of writing. In general I think that I write well.

Jackie is one of those students teachers love to have in English class.

Enthusiasm is part of her strength, but her desire to understand the official

curriculum is probably more important, particularly because her

commitment influences other less motivated students. She acknowledges

this ability in her journal,

I feel that I participate all the time during English class. When we are going to share our papers, I love to read aloud in front of everyone. I also find it easy and important to give my input and opinion during class discussion. During group work, I am usually the one to take charge of Dan and Bob so that we can manage to get something accomplished.

Jackie is not bragging here, or exaggerating the extent of her involvement.

In Part One, I described her work with Dan and Bob in the collaborative

writing assignment where she clearly was in command throughout.

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articles. W riting is a lm ost a hobby for m e and I th in k tha t I have a ta lent fo r it. People write for a num ber o f d ifferent reasons. Som e because they enjoy it and others as an escape from reality.W riting is very therapeutic a n d can be used as a relaxation technique.

I th in k that w riting has to come from the heart in order to be good literature. In order to write w e ll , yo u have to extend your boundaries a n d reach into a whole other world. Im ag ina tion a n d creativity m ake for very in teresting pieces o f w riting. In general I th in k tha t I write well.

Jackie is one of those students teachers love to have in English class.

Enthusiasm is part of her strength, but her desire to understand the official

curriculum is probably more important, particularly because her

commitment influences other less motivated students. She acknowledges

th is ability in her journal,

I feel tha t I participate a ll the tim e d u rin g E nglish class. When we are going to share our papers , I love to read a loud in front o f everyone. I also fin d i t easy and im portant to g ive m y input a n d opinion d u rin g class discussion. D uring group work, I a m usually the one to take charge o f D an and Bob so th a t we can m anage to get som ething accom plished .

Jackie is not bragging here, or exaggerating the extent of her involvement.

In Part One, I described her work with Dan and Bob in the collaborative

writing assignm ent where she clearly was in command throughout.

152


Jackie's frank assessment of herself is one of the unusual qualities of her

journal writing. She seems to be able to assess herself accurately, without

falling prey to either self-aggrandizement or self-pity.

Journal excerpt: Writing is what interests me and

so I always try to do the best that I can. At my

house, my mom loves to go over English work and

often she gives suggestions. In English, I don't

ever leave things until the last minute, probably

because I like the assignments. I do them ahead

of time so that I can work towards a good,

satisfying product.

Despite her devotion to language arts, not all of Jackie's writing

experiences during the semester were positive. Writing got Jackie into

trouble, and her social skills were tested because of something she wrote.

The public horror of being misunderstood

Early in the semester I was aware that Jackie had suffered some

kind of ostracism because of an article she wrote that was published in the

school newspaper. The article was ostensibly about fashion statements and

the dangers of conformity. To me, the article had seemed funny. It also

sounded like Jackie "doing a character;" however, some at school did not

"read" the piece that way. We talked about the incident in the interview and

Jackie was very candid about what happened:

J: Oh yeah / ... / you got to pick a pet peeve / or something that you had / and you wrote an article and it was horrible / because one person N. G./ she took offence / huge offence to it / she went and saw [ the vice principal] and I went and saw him / and I thought oh what am I gonna do

153


Jackie's frank assessment of herself is one of the unusual qualities of her

journal writing. She seems to be able to assess herself accurately, without

falling prey to either self-aggrandizement or self-pity.

Journa l excerpt: W riting is w hat in terests me a n d so I a lw ays try to do the best tha t I can. A t m y house, m y m om loves to go over E n g lish work a n d often she gives suggestions. In E n g lish , I don 't ever leave th ings u n til the last m inu te , probably because I like the assignm ents. I do them ahead o f tim e so tha t I can work towards a good, sa tisfy ing product.

Despite her devotion to language arts, not all of Jackie's writing

experiences during the semester were positive. W riting got Jackie into

trouble, and her social skills were tested because of something she wrote.

The public horror o f being m isunderstood

Early in the semester I was aware that Jackie had suffered some

kind of ostracism because of an article she wrote th a t was published in the

school newspaper. The article was ostensibly about fashion statem ents and

the dangers of conformity. To me, the article had seemed funny. It also

sounded like Jackie "doing a character;" however, some at school did not

"read" the piece that way. We talked about the incident in the interview and

Jackie was very candid about w hat happened:

J: Oh yeah /... / you got to pick a pet peeve / orsomething th a t you had / and you wrote an articleand it was horrible / because one person N. G./she took offence / huge offence to it / she went andsaw [ the vice principal] and I went and saw him/ and I thought oh w hat am I gonna do

153


V: Can I interrupt you for a minute / can you

describe what your pet peeve was?

J: Ok / it was / / / well my brother / I guess it all

came from my brother because my brother

knowing that he was coming to high school the

next year decided well I guess I should start to

dress grungy / my mom said why do you want to

dress like this / like he was going to Value Village

and taking his allowance and buying these pants

and these shoes and on and on and on / and my

poor mom / it was just nuts for my mom /

anyways my mom said why do you want to dress

like this do you like to dress like this / if you do

then that's fine but what is your reason / well

Sean and I were talking and we think that in

order to be real cool at High school we should

dress like this / they thought that in order to fit in

then they should dress like this / and it didn't help

that my mom would drive by and drop me off at

school and he'd see and he thought I want to be

like that [like the kids who hang out in front of the

school, smoking and visiting] / and so it comes

back that maybe people coming in to grade nine

and ten think that in order to fit in at high school /

and it is known by a lot of kids that it is the hippie

school / and if you wanta fit in this is how you

have to dress / I just thought / I have no problem

with a person having their own sense of style if

you know that is what they want to be but / to think

that to fit in

V: You have to conform? J: Yeah / so it was taken by this one girl that I was

out for all the grade nines and tens to conform

with society / it just turned into this well you're talking like everyone else and telling us what to do

154


V: Can I in terrup t you for a minute / can you describe w hat your pet peeve was?J: Ok / i t was I I I well my brother / I guess it all came from my brother because my brother knowing th a t he was coming to high school the next year decided well I guess I should s ta rt to dress grungy / my mom said why do you w ant to dress like this / like he was going to Value Village and taking his allowance and buying these pants and these shoes and on and on and on / and my poor mom / it was just nuts for my mom / anyways my mom said why do you want to dress like this do you like to dress like this / if you do then th a t’s fine but w hat is your reason / well Sean and I were talking and we think th a t in order to be real cool a t High school we should dress like this / they thought that in order to fit in then they should dress like this / and it didn't help tha t my mom would drive by and drop me off a t school and he'd see and he thought I want to be like th a t [like the kids who hang out in front of the school, smoking and visiting] / and so it comes back th a t maybe people coming in to grade nine and ten think th a t in order to fit in a t high school / and it is known by a lot of kids that it is the hippie school / and if you wanta fit in this is how you have to dress / 1 ju st thought / 1 have no problem with a person having their own sense of style if you know th a t is what they want to be but / to think that to fit inV: You have to conform?J: Yeah / so it was taken by this one girl th a t I was out for all the grade nines and tens to conform with society / it ju st turned into this well you're talking like everyone else and telling us w hat to do

154


/ because if we don't we're not going to get jobs /

and I like said I never once said / all I was saying

was that the nines and tens at school maybe some

honestly feel this is how they are going to dress /

but a lot of them I just think it is that peer

pressure / you know a lot of them are just doing it

to fit in

Jackie's rapid speech is not easily translated into print, because so much of

her emotional energy is lost. She says conformity is not the problem for

her, but mindless conformity is. Her views are strongly held, but she still

had to think very carefully about publishing her opinion. She said,

I thought about it and thought about it and said can I put it in as an anonymous writer / and she

[her teacher] said no no nobody is going to have

any problems with this / everybody realizes this is a point of view so I took it and revised it / / Steve says just leave it like who cares but I wish I had not done that now / it was taken the wrong way

The grunge students at school were offended by Jackie's published

description of their clothes, and thought she was using her social position

to denigrate their choice of clothing styles. Grunge punks have extreme

hairstyles, like spiked green and pink hair, and sport facial piercing of

every description. Many mainstream students are intimidated by the

appearance of the grunge students, and scrupulously avoid them.

J: Yeah well that was the thing / you know I used to be really big hanging out with people who dressed like that / I hang out with those people / always have / I don't hang out with them as much

155


/ because if we don't we’re not going to get jobs / and I like said I never once said / all I was saying was th a t the nines and tens a t school maybe some honestly feel this is how they are going to dress / bu t a lot of them I ju s t think it is th a t peer pressure / you know a lot of them are ju st doing i t to fit in

Jackie's rapid speech is not easily translated into print, because so much of

her emotional energy is lost. She says conformity is not the problem for

her, but mindless conformity is. Her views are strongly held, bu t she still

had to think very carefully about publishing her opinion. She said,

I thought about it and thought about it and said can I pu t it in as an anonymous writer / and she [her teacher] said no no nobody is going to have any problems with this / everybody realizes th is is a point of view so I took it and revised it / ... / Steve says ju st leave it like who cares but I wish I had not done tha t now / it was taken the wrong way

The grunge students a t school were offended by Jackie’s published

description of their clothes, and thought she was using her social position

to denigrate the ir choice of clothing styles. Grunge punks have extreme

hairstyles, like spiked green and pink hair, and sport facial piercing of

every description. Many mainstream students are intim idated by the

appearance of the grunge students, and scrupulously avoid them.

J: Yeah well that was the thing / you know I used to be really big hanging out with people who dressed like that / 1 hang out with those people / always have / I don’t hang out with them as much

155


now / but when they see me now it is like Hey

Jackie valley girl and they see it as just my point of

view on what the younger people are doing / but

someone of those ones who are really into it /

they're like you're asking me to conform to society

/ society is working against us

V: Did they threaten you?

J: Actually yes / their plan was that one day / and

I heard this just from a friend / that you know like

it was I'm going to walk out with you every day /

they were going to get me in a circle and they were

all going to start pushing me and saying you're

asking me to conform and this and that / you're

going to learn a lesson and stuff

The offending article created a bit of a stir. Jackie's intent was not to incite

social disorder at school, and certainly not in her own life. To support her

opinion, she cited a variety of fashion authorities including Young and

Modern magazine, Vogue, and the school handbook, which explains the

rules regarding tasteful dress and the penalties for wearing clothing

"suggesting drugs, sex and swear words." Excerpts from her article

illustrate the tone and content of her offending piece:

"Fashion Statement 0: Grunge is Gone" by Jackie

... When tasteful grunge was in, it was cool, but

now the "grunge babies" look welfare. Grunge

has slowly lost its individualism and different

styles and trends are now "in". ... As I was

walking around the lawn I took a specific interest in the little grunge rats running around ... and

thought there was no way that they could be comfortable. ... The sight of some of these kids

made me, along with many other spectators, sick.

156


now / bu t when they see me now it is like Hey Jackie valley girl and they see it as ju s t my point of view on what the younger people are doing / but someone of those ones who are really into it / they’re like you’re asking me to conform to society / society is working against us V: Did they threaten you?J: Actually yes / their plan was th a t one day / and I heard this ju st from a friend / th a t you know like it was I'm going to walk out with you every day / they were going to get me in a circle and they were all going to sta rt pushing me and saying you’re asking me to conform and this and th a t / you're going to learn a lesson and stuff

The offending article created a bit of a stir. Jackie's in ten t was not to incite

social disorder a t school, and certainly not in her own life. To support her

opinion, she cited a variety of fashion authorities including Young and

M odem magazine, Vogue, and the school handbook, which explains the

rules regarding tasteful dress and the penalties for wearing clothing

"suggesting drugs, sex and swear words." Excerpts from her article

illustrate the tone and content of her offending piece:

"Fashion Statement 0: Grunge is Gone" by Jackie

... When tasteful grunge was in, it was cool, but now the "grunge babies" look welfare. Grunge has slowly lost its individualism and different styles and trends are now "in". ... As I was walking around the lawn I took a specific interest in the little grunge rats running around ... and thought there was no way tha t they could be comfortable. ... The sight of some of these kids made me, along with many other spectators, sick.

156


Individualism is cool, but this has turned into a

totally different story.

Kids have begun to dress dirty just to feel as

though they fit in and probably to get attention.

Grunge was trendy, but for all the wanna-be

burners, wake up and smell the java. You aren't

shocking anyone any more.

Grunge kids and punks give a bad impression

to our high school. Do we want students to

literally scare parents and visitors as they drive

up, leaving them with the idea that our school is

punky ? ... Young and Modern and Vogue state

that too-big pants and layer after layer are both

extremely five minutes ago. You little "look at me"

everybodies are causing grunge to die a slow and

painful death.

As a result of problems that arose with the publication of this article, Jackie

seriously considered attending a different high school because things

became difficult for her. She went as far as to register at another high

school, but she was able to resolve her social problems and return to school.

The students who were most offended by this piece do not travel in the same

social circles as Jackie. Once they calmed down, she was able to function

confidently within the school community. The students Jackie insulted are

somewhat marginal at school. Her socially powerful friends became

important allies in her social rehabilitation.

Jackie did not analyze this incident politically; she understood the

event personally. She decided to be more careful about what she published

in the future. In her view, being provocative was not worth the pain of

public derision, however genuine the feelings that inspired her piece of

writing. Towards the end of the semester, she got involved in Improv at

157


Individualism is cool, bu t this has turned into a totally different story.Kids have begun to dress dirty ju s t to feel as though they fit in and probably to get attention.Grunge was trendy, but for all the wanna-be burners, wake up and smell the java. You aren 't shocking anyone any more.... Grunge kids and punks give a bad impression to our high school. Do we want students to literally scare parents and visitors as they drive up, leaving them with the idea th a t our school is punky ? ... Young and Modem and Vogue state tha t too-big pants and layer after layer are both extremely five minutes ago. You little "look a t me" everybodies are causing grunge to die a slow and painful death.

As a result of problems tha t arose with the publication of this article, Jackie

seriously considered attending a different high school because things

became difficult for her. She went as far as to register a t another high

school, but she was able to resolve her social problems and return to school.

The students who were most offended by this piece do not travel in the same

social circles as Jackie. Once they calmed down, she was able to function

confidently within the school community. The students Jackie insulted are

somewhat marginal a t school. Her socially powerful friends became

im portant allies in her social rehabilitation.

Jackie did not analyze this incident politically; she understood the

event personally. She decided to be more careful about what she published

in the future. In her view, being provocative was not worth the pain of

public derision, however genuine the feelings th a t inspired her piece of

writing. Towards the end of the semester, she got involved in Improv a t

157


school and participated in her drama class collective. Jackie turned out to

be a very good actress, largely because of the confidence she had on stage,

her voice quality and her ability to create believable scenes. Her only major

concern about her involvement in both activities was "being called a geek,"

something she seems genetically incapable of being. The same qualities

which make her writing strong, also made her dramatic performances

strong. Jackie does not hold much back when it comes to expressing her

opinions and her sense of who she is. In whatever creative work Jackie

does, her knowledge of herself is always central.

Jackie's Journal : pages from a life in progress

Journal excerpt: I think that the reason I write

well is because I have always read and written so

much. My imagination allows me to be creative

and I write from my heart. I am able to describe

myself and my ideas prominently.

Jackie's journal entries generally end up being longer than those of

any other student in the class. She does not waste a minute of journal time

doing anything other than writing. No sharpening pencils, asking for the

date, getting a drink of water, or chatting with a neighbour. She takes her

pen in hand and writes until she must leave to go to her next class. In her

journal, she often describes what she is experiencing at home, at school or

at work with remarkable candour. Some of the longest passages occur

when she reminisces about her idyllic childhood. For Jackie, journal

writing is a forum for understanding what she is feeling, thinking and

experiencing in her life.

In class, we read "Day of the Butterfly" by Alice Munro and as a

prereading activity students were asked to reflect on incidents of childhood

158


school and participated in her dram a class collective. Jackie turned out to

be a very good actress, largely because of the confidence she had on stage,

her voice quality and her ability to create believable scenes. Her only major

concern about her involvement in both activities was "being called a geek,"

something she seems genetically incapable of being. The same qualities

which make her w riting strong, also made her dram atic performances

strong. Jackie does not hold much back when it comes to expressing her

opinions and her sense of who she is. In whatever creative work Jackie

does, her knowledge of herself is always central.

Jackie's Journal: pages from a life in progress

Journa l excerpt: I th in k tha t the reason I w rite well is because I have alw ays read a n d w ritten so much. M y im agina tion allows m e to be creative and I w rite from m y heart. I am able to describe m yse lf a n d m y ideas prom inently .

Jackie's journal entries generally end up being longer than those of

any other student in the class. She does not waste a minute of journal time

doing anything other than writing. No sharpening pencils, asking for the

date, getting a drink of water, or chatting with a neighbour. She takes her

pen in hand and writes until she m ust leave to go to her next class. In her

journal, she often describes w hat she is experiencing a t home, at school or

a t work with remarkable candour. Some of the longest passages occur

when she reminisces about her idyllic childhood. For Jackie, journal

w riting is a forum for understanding what she is feeling, thinking and

experiencing in her life.

In class, we read "Day of the Butterfly" by Alice Munro and as a

prereading activity students were asked to reflect on incidents of childhood158


ostracism that they knew about or experienced. Jackie wrote:

Journal excerpt: Our school was cliquey. There

were the rich, middle-class and then the less

fortunate. Parents would never allow the less

fortunate kids to come to the rich kids' house or

parties. Labelling was a big thing. ... I can remember in grade three at recess some girls

would sit around in a corner and write in a book

mean things about the other girls. It really was

totally cruel, because the little snots would share their literature with other students and then word

of who was criticized in the book today would be

passed around. My name came up with everyone

else's ... I was teased about my hair colour and the fact that I loved dolls and playing house. ... That

direct sort of cruelty sometimes hurts for life.

Jackie responds to the emotional element of Munro's story, and does not

develop a political view of the events. She did not suffer greatly at the hands

of the mean-spirited girls in her class, but she could empathize with those

who did because she recognized that being teased about her hair was

similar to some degree to what persecuted children experienced. Jackie's

childhood was very happy, and she writes many stories about her family,

their holidays and her play. Jackie wrote about the playhouse her father

built and her mother furnished for her:

Journal excerpt: It was great. I spent everyday of the summer playing house with my dolls. Lance and I used to pretend that we were married. ... There was no homework, no worries, no driver's license and no serious social pressures .. My mom said that out of my other sisters, I was the only one

159


ostracism th a t they knew about or experienced. Jackie wrote:

J o u rn a l excerpt: O ur school w as cliquey. There were the rich, m idd le-c lass a n d then the less fortunate. P aren ts w ou ld never allow the less fo rtuna te k id s to come to the rich k id s ' house or parties. L abe lling w as a big th ing. ... I can rem em ber in g rade three a t recess som e g irls w ould s it a ro u n d in a com er a n d write in a book m ean th in g s abou t the other girls. I t really w as to tally cruel, because the little sno ts would share their litera ture w ith o ther s tuden ts a n d then w ord o f who w as criticized in the book today would be passed around. M y nam e cam e up w ith everyone else's ... I w as teased about m y h a ir colour a n d the fact th a t I loved do lls a n d p laying house. ... Tha t direct sort o f cruelty som etim es h u r ts fo r life.

Jackie responds to the emotional element of Munro's story, and does not

develop a political view of the events. She did not suffer greatly a t the hands

of the mean-spirited girls in her class, but she could empathize with those

who did because she recognized th a t being teased about her hair was

sim ilar to some degree to w hat persecuted children experienced. Jackie's

childhood was very happy, and she writes many stories about her family,

the ir holidays and her play. Jackie wrote about the playhouse her father

built and her mother furnished for her:

Jo u rn a l excerpt: I t w as great. I spen t everyday o f the su m m er p la y in g house w ith m y dolls. Lance and I used to p re ten d th a t we were married. ...There w as no hom ew ork, no worries, no driver's license a n d no serious social pressures .. M y m om sa id th a t ou t o f m y o ther sisters, I w as the only one

159


who could entertain herself for hours. ... Even

now, because we have so many (probably over forty

dolls) my mom and I will spend a Saturday

afternoon dressing them and doing their hair.

Often students will lament that their lives do not resemble the lives they see

portrayed in the media. Jackie's early life comes pretty close to the ideal:

My sixteenth birthday is one I'll never forget ... I

was in your class then and Mark had the sixteen

peach roses brought to the classroom ... Do you

remember that? That wasn't embarrassing, it was

sweet but I'm not sure about what followed. ... I

was wondering why they were escorting me out of

the school, and I noticed my mom and dad drive by

and then get out of the car. A crowd was gathered

on the front lawn. ... I turned around and it was

Johnny the Clown. How embarrassing. Everyone

knew except me ... Johnny began by making me

wear boy watching sun-glasses while he continued

to do tricks and bring up my hobbies ... My mom

had to phone and clear it with the school because it

was on school property and so even teachers were

watching.

Jackie's smooth sailing was interrupted by a crisis at home which erupted

over an incident of smoking in the bathroom. She described the incident as

"the straw that broke the camel's back. My dad got involved and that never

happens unless the situation is serious," in her written account of the

story. She ended up moving out of the house for a short period, and then

she reconciled with her family. She wrote ten pages about this experience

in her journal, and later transformed the account into a personal essay.

1W


who could en terta in herse lf fo r hours. ... E ven now, because we have so m any (probably over forty dolls) m y m om a n d I w ill spend a Sa tu rday afternoon dressing them a n d do ing their hair.

Often students will lam ent th a t their lives do not resemble the lives they see

portrayed in the media. Jackie's early life comes pretty close to the ideal:

M y sixteenth b irthday is one I 'l l never fo r g e t ... / w as in yo u r class then a n d M ark had the sixteen peach roses brought to the classroom ... Do you remember th a t? T ha t w asn 't em barrassing, it was sweet but I 'm not sure about w hat followed. ... I w as wondering why they were escorting m e ou t o f the school, and I noticed m y m om and d a d drive by a n d then get out o f the car. A crowd was gathered on the fron t lawn. ... I turned around a n d it was Jo h n n y the Clown. How em barrassing. Everyone knew except me ... Johnny began by m a k in g me wear boy w atch ing sun-glasses while he continued to do tricks a n d bring up m y hobbies ... M y m om had to phone and clear it w ith the school because it was on school property and so even teachers were w atching .

Jackie's smooth sailing was interrupted by a crisis a t home which erupted

over an incident of smoking in the bathroom. She described the incident as

"the straw th a t broke the camel's back. My dad got involved and th a t never

happens unless the situation is serious," in her written account of the

story. She ended up moving out of the house for a short period, and then

she reconciled with her family. She wrote ten pages about this experience

in her journal, and later transformed the account into a personal essay.

160


Jackie claims that now she appreciates the privilege of having a happy

family. She means it, because she experienced its absence and realizes the

importance of her family relationship.

Certainly, in her journal, Jackie appears to have moved from just

describing, to thinking about the issues affecting her life in a serious,

somewhat more abstract way. Early in the Macbeth unit, she discussed

ambition in her own life.

It is interesting that our first journal entry is

about motivation because ambition is something I

am trying to achieve in my life at this time. Last

semester I failed my first class ever - Algebra.

The teachers also said I would because I do not

understand it but I have always been mercy

passed. During finals, my whole life was studying

for Algebra but in the end, I still came out with a

measly 38%. ... Ambition is a positive factor in

everyone's life and helps people to outline and

achieve their personal goals ... However, ambition

can also turn to obsession in severe cases,

although in most cases it proves to be very

rewarding and healthy.

In another entry, she contemplates the moral questions raised when a

person knows a friend has done something seriously wrong. She again

draws on personal experience to work out her stand on this issue.

Journal entry: My actions would all depend on whether or not my friend told me and what the effects from their behaviour caused. On one

161


Jackie claims th a t now she appreciates the privilege of having a happy

family. She means it, because she experienced its absence and realizes the

importance of her family relationship.

Certainly, in her journal, Jackie appears to have moved from ju st

describing, to thinking about the issues affecting her life in a serious,

somewhat more abstract way. Early in the Macbeth unit, she discussed

ambition in her own life.

I t is in teresting th a t our fir s t journa l en try is about m otivation because am bition is som eth ing I am trying to achieve in m y life a t th is tim e. L a s t semester I fa ile d m y first class ever - A lgebra.The teachers a lso sa id I w ould because I do not understand it b u t I have a lw ays been mercy passed. D uring finals, m y whole life w as s tu d y in g for Algebra bu t in the end, I still came o u t w ith a m easly 38%. ... A m bition is a positive factor in everyone's life a n d helps people to outline a n d achieve their p ersona l goals ... However, am b ition can also turn to obsession in severe cases, although in m ost cases it proves to be very rew arding a n d healthy.

In another entry, she contemplates the moral questions raised when a

person knows a friend has done something seriously wrong. She again

draws on personal experience to work out her stand on th is issue.

Journa l entry: M y actions w ould all depend on w hether or not m y friend to ld me and w h a t the effects from th e ir behaviour caused. O n one

161


occasion I was faced with a situation much like

this. A friend was cheating off of me on a test and

the teacher penalized me. At that point, I talked

to the teacher and explained that I was not

cheating and had to tell her who it was. It was

really tough to do but when it is my reputation on

the line and not my fault, something is seriously

wrong. .. I feel that there are times to say

something and others when it is best to keep your

mouth shut and even though it may be wrong or

morally incorrect, it will often keep serious conflict to a minimum. In either case, it is tough.

Teachers know that journal writing prior to a discussion results in more

meaningful conversations in class, whether in large group or in small

groups (Sweigart, 1991). The journal writing can provide students with a

non-threatening forum for working out what they actually think about

topics without having to voice their opinions to their peers. Even Jackie,

who is not a shy student, benefits from some private reflection before

discussion begins with others. What is also evident in Jackie's writing is

her sense of audience. Whether she is reminiscing, describing or thinking

as she writes, I am always left with the sense that she is writing not only to

herself, but also to her reader, the teacher.

Jackie's romantic voice is dominant in her journal. In a long

passage, she wrote a story about herself in the role of Lady Macbeth. She

did not read this to the class:

Jackie was a beautiful lady that caused heads to turn wherever she went, held the intelligence of Albert Einstein and the sensitivity of Mother Theresa. She was married to a muscular, studly, rippling rebel named Bob. They were happily

.162


occasion I was faced w ith a situa tion m uch like this. A friend w as chea ting o f f o f m e on a test a n d the teacher pena lized me. A t tha t po in t, I ta lked to the teacher a n d exp la ined tha t I w as not cheating a n d had to te ll her who it was. I t was really tough to do b u t w hen it is m y reputation on the line a n d not m y fa u lt, som eth ing is seriously wrong. .. I feel th a t there are tim es to say som ething and others w hen it is best to keep your m outh sh u t and even though it m ay be w rong or morally incorrect, i t w ill often keep serious conflict to a m in im u m . In either case, it is tough.

Teachers know that journal writing prior to a discussion results in more

meaningful conversations in class, whether in large group or in sm all

groups (Sweigart, 1991). The journal writing can provide students with a

non-threatening forum for working out what they actually think about

topics without having to voice their opinions to their peers. Even Jackie,

who is not a shy student, benefits from some private reflection before

discussion begins with others. W hat is also evident in Jackie's w riting is

her sense of audience. W hether she is reminiscing, describing or thinking

as she writes, I am always left with the sense th a t she is writing not only to

herself, bu t also to her reader, the teacher.

Jackie's romantic voice is dominant in her journal. In a long

passage, she wrote a story about herself in the role of Lady Macbeth. She

did not read this to the class:

Jackie was a beau tifu l lady tha t caused heads to tu rn wherever she w ent, held the intelligence o f Albert E inste in a n d the sensitiv ity o f M other Theresa. She w as m a rried to a m uscular, studly, rippling rebel nam ed Bob. They were happily

162


married and were envied by most other couples in

the small town in which they lived. Their perfect

life turned unrecognisable the day when Bob sliced

his boss's head off with a chainsaw and left him

mutilated in the back of the forest, to be ravished

by animals. ... Jackie's role in the well plotted

killing was to lure the superior into the bushes to

choose Christmas trees for their homes and

offices. ... Bob jumped from behind the snow

glazed greenery and wrestled the chainsaw out of

Mr. McKinnon's hands. The brutal murder was

unsolved. ... Bob yearned for the senior position in

the law firm and was so driven to be at the top that

he would stop at nothing.

Strangely, one week after Mr. McKinnon's

death, Bob's best friend Dan plunged to his death

from his office on the tenth floor. ... Jackie

doubted Bob's character as the days went on. His

behaviour and moods turned more and more

weird and erratic. It started with silence and

blank stares and soon became growly and enraged

At Tim and Toni's wedding reception, Bob pulled out a knife on a group of gossiping friends

and relatives. They were talking about the recent

murders. Jackie immediately ran to Bob who

collapsed in a heap of uncontrollable sobs .. Everyone was open-mouthed and people said "How

horrible for poor Jackie."

Dan, Bob, Tim and Toni are all classmates. Jackie's version of married life

is remarkably similar to her "Perfect Day in the Life Ten Years From Now"

draft in her writing folder. The same "studly, rippled husband" appears

there, too. Fortunately, there are no murder plots in her version of her

163


m arried a n d were envied by m ost other couples in the sm a ll town in w hich they lived. Their perfect life tu rned unrecognisable the d a y when Bob sliced h is boss's head o f f w ith a cha insaw and le ft h im m u tila ted in the back o f the forest, to be rav ished by an im als. ... Ja ck ie 's role in th e w ell-plotted k illin g w as to lure the superior in to the bushes to choose C hristm as trees for th e ir hom es a n d offices. ... Bob ju m p e d from b eh in d the snow g lazed greenery a n d wrestled the chainsaw ou t o f Mr. M cK innon 's hands. The b ru ta l m u rd er w as unsolved. ... Bob yearned fo r the senior position in the law firm a n d w as so driven to be at the top tha t he w ould stop a t nothing.

S trangely , one week a fte r M r. M cK innon 's death, Bob's best fr ien d Dan p lu n g ed to h is dea th from h is office on the tenth floor. ... Jackie doubted Bob's character as the days went on. H is behaviour and m oods turned m ore and m ore w eird a n d erratic. I t started w ith silence a n d b lank stares a n d soon became grow ly and enraged

A t T im and Toni's w edd ing reception, Bob p u lled out a knife on a group o f gossiping fr ien d s a n d relatives. They were ta lk in g about the recent m urders. Jackie im m edia tely ran to Bob w ho collapsed in a heap o f uncontrollable sobs ..Everyone w as open-m outhed a n d people sa id "How horrible fo r poor J a c k ie ."

Dan, Bob, Tim and Toni are all classmates. Jackie's version of married life

is remarkably sim ilar to her "Perfect Day in the Life Ten Years From Now"

draft in her writing folder. The same "studly, rippled husband" appears

there, too. Fortunately, there are no m urder plots in h er version of her163


idealized life.

Jackie writes about work

Like many other students, Jackie has part-time jobs most of the time.

Her life in retail sales is not much better than life in the fast-food industry

that others described in class. Jackie read this account of her working life

to the class, and the response was unanimously positive. Students who

worked part-time recognized the boss, and the situation she describes:

I began in April a year ago and my hourly rate is

still $5.35 an hour. The whole job is a nightmare.

To start with, no one ever comes into the store and

so we stand on our feet all day or night straightening the racks. On Saturday when our

boss comes in we all have to be folding sweaters,

dusting the racks or cleaning the fitting room

mirrors. If not, he will yell and scream about how

incompetent we all are. If we are doing what we

are supposed to he will slap us on the butt with his

briefcase or take our hands and hold them.. He

will then inspect the store and before he leaves,

he'll turn to me and say "I love your hair colour,

Julie, isn't it?" and I'll respond by explaining that

my name is Jackie. He then assures me he will remember that next time and storms out. He is also a very racist man and instructs us that if any

minority race enters the store, we are to follow

them around and can ask "those Indians" to leave

at any time. How horrible. ... I am not a slave, I am just a kid wanting some extra spending money. It is time to look for a new job.

It is not necessary for Jackie to extend her description of events to a political /64


idealized life.

Jackie'writes about work

Like many other students, Jackie has part-time jobs most of the time.

Her life in retail sales is not much better than life in the fast-food industry

tha t others described in class. Jackie read this account of her working life

to the class, and the response was unanimously positive. Students who

worked part-time recognized the boss, and the situation she describes:

I began in A pril a year ago a n d m y hourly rate is still $5.35 an hour. The whole job is a nightm are.To sta rt w ith , no one ever comes into the store a n d so we stand on our feet all day or n ight stra ightening the racks. On S a tu rd a y w hen our boss comes in we a ll have to be fo ld ing sw eaters, d usting the racks or cleaning the fit t in g room mirrors. I f not, he w ill yell a n d scream about how incom petent we a ll are. I f we are doing w h a t we are supposed to he w ill slap us on the b u tt w ith h is briefcase or take our hands a n d hold them .. He w ill then inspect the store a n d before he leaves, he'll tu rn to me and say "I love your h a ir colour,Julie, isn 't it?" and I 'll respond by exp la in ing th a t m y nam e is Jackie. He then assures m e he w ill remember tha t next tim e a n d storm s out. H e is also a very racist m an and instructs us th a t i f any m inority race enters the store, we are to follow them around a n d can ask "those Ind ians" to leave a t any time. How horrible. ... I am not a slave, I am ju s t a k id w anting some extra spend ing money. I t is tim e to look for a new job.

It is not necessary for Jackie to extend her description of events to a political164


analysis for this type of writing to be of value to her. Deciding that getting

out of this situation was important surely is enough for this writing to have

had a purpose in her life. Other students may have reached a different

conclusion, but the conclusion Jackie reached suits her. Her concept of

personal power is her own. She sees herself as a potent force in the

creation of her life, not as a victim of circumstance. In her practice letter of

reference, also written during this same unit, Jackie's sense of herself is

articulated:

Jackie is a very energetic, personable and responsible worker. Her punctuality and pleasing

personality are an asset to any workplace. She displays positive leadership techniques and a genuine concern for others not to mention a go-getting attitude. Jackie has many admirable qualities and her patient manner, and her

initiative would accentuate your business.

Jackie sees herself in a very positive way. She identifies her chief strengths

and also recognizes how she can use these qualities to create her life. In

the conclusion of her career research paper, she wrote:

A career as an RCMP is something that I feel would be a very wise decision for me. It is so hard to decide what to do with the rest of my life and I don't want to make the wrong move or be disappointed. ... Many challenges are an exciting part of this career and although the rewards are phenomenal, of course sadly, there is always the chance of disaster, ... But in this world you have to be willing to take the chance. If I don't, who will? As an RCMP officer, you take the good

165


analysis for this type of writing to be of value to her. Deciding tha t getting

out of this situation was important surely is enough for this writing to have

had a purpose in her life. Other students may have reached a different

conclusion, but the conclusion Jackie reached suits her. Her concept of

personal power is her own. She sees herself as a potent force in the

creation of her life, not as a victim of circumstance. In her practice le tte r of

reference, also written during this same unit, Jackie's sense of herself is

articulated:

Jackie is a very energetic, personable and responsible worker. H er p u n c tu a lity a n d pleasing personality are an asset to any workplace. She displays positive leadership techniques a n d a genuine concern for others not to m ention a go- getting attitude. Jackie h a s m a n y adm irable qualities and her pa tien t m anner, and her in itia tive w ould accentuate yo u r business.

Jackie sees herself in a very positive way. She identifies her chief strengths

and also recognizes how she can use these qualities to create her life. In

the conclusion of her career research paper, she wrote:

A career as an RCM P is som eth ing th a t I feel w ould be a very wise decision fo r me. I t is so hard to decide w hat to do w ith the rest o f m y life and I don 't w ant to m ake the w rong move or be disappointed. ... M any challenges are an exciting p a rt o f th is career and a lthough the rew ards are phenom enal, o f course sad ly , there is a lw ays the chance o f disaster, ... B u t in th is world you have to be w illing to take the chance. I f I don't, who w ill?A s an RCM P officer, you take the good

165


accompanied by the bad realizing that whole new

world of risks, sacrifices and achievements is

ahead.

Jackie uses writing to examine all aspects of her own life: to make

sense of it, to explain her side of situations, to express her opinions, to

speculate about her future, and to reflect on her own experience. Even

when the assignment is teacher sponsored, she makes it personal. Writing

in the third person is a challenge to her, but she follows the convention

when she is required to write formally. She has a powerful need to do

things her way. From my vantage point, it is probably a better idea to get

out of her way, and let her write in ways important to her now, when she is

seventeen. She has plenty of time to conform to other rules later.

F. Cassie

Journal excerpt: The success I have in English class is my journal writing. I enjoy writing stories and responding to literature in my journal.

I also like to read stories.

Cassie works diligently in class, usually on her own or with a single

partner. Her journals include long, thoughtful entries and her

assignments are always done on time. She is a dedicated English student.

I know am interested in her ideas about writing because she works so hard

at being a writer. Always reading, continually revising and editing, Cassie

demonstrates commitment to becoming a better writer every day. In her

journal, she described her "writing self':

Yes I am a writer. I think that as I wrote I improved. I get an idea and explore it. I take my

166


accom panied by the bad realizing th a t w hole new world o f risks, sacrifices and ach ievem ents is ahead.

Jackie uses w riting to examine all aspects of her own life: to m ake

sense of it, to explain her side of situations, to express her opinions, to

speculate about her future, and to reflect on her own experience. Even

when the assignment is teacher sponsored, she makes i t personal. W riting

in the third person is a challenge to her, but she follows the convention

when she is required to write formally. She has a powerful need to do

things her way. From my vantage point, it is probably a better idea to get

out of her way, and le t her write in ways im portant to her now, when she is

seventeen. She has plenty of time to conform to other rules later.

F. C assie

Jo u rn a l excerpt: The success I have in E n g lish class is m y jo u rn a l writing. I enjoy w ritin g stories a n d responding to literature in m y jo u rn a l.I also like to read stories.

Cassie works diligently in class, usually on her own or with a single

partner. Her journals include long, thoughtful entries and her

assignments are always done on time. She is a dedicated English student.

I know am interested in her ideas about writing because she works so hard

a t being a writer. Always reading, continually revising and editing, Cassie

demonstrates commitment to becoming a better w riter every day. In h er

journal, she described her "writing self':

Yes I a m a writer. I th ink tha t as I wrote I im proved. I get an idea and explore it. I take m y

166


time writing. I look over what I write and correct

it to suit me.

I write to express myself and my ideas. You can

put your self and your ideas on paper. It's

relaxing and interesting to write from your

imagination.

To be a good writer you need practice and an

imagination. If you don't have ideas you can't

write. My strengths as a writer are my

imagination, my ability to follow instructions and

my ability to understand what I am writing about.

I could improve my spelling and my wording.

Cassie's version of her life

When I selected the students for this study, I really did not know

what activities they considered most important in their lives. Knowing

what they do for fun or fulfilment has certainly helped me to see the whole

student more clearly. I am still delighted by knowing the importance art

plays in their lives. Music, dance, and poetry are all mentioned as serious

interests by each of the students at some point. Cassie's consuming

passion is dance:

The game of my life isn't really a game but an art. It's dancing. I've been dancing since I was about

four ... I feel it has influenced me a lot more than

I sometimes realize. I think that dancing has

brought me a lot of courage and self-esteem. I can express myself when I dance. I also gain confidence and lose fear of confrontation because I

perform for large audiences. After I dance I feel good, in fact I'm quite ecstatic after I dance.

167


tim e w riting. I look over w hat I w rite a n d correct it to su it me.

I write to express m yse lf and m y ideas. You can p u t your s e l f a n d your ideas on paper. I t 's relaxing a n d interesting to write fro m y o u r im a g in a tio n .

To be a good w riter you need practice a n d an im agination. I f you d o n 't have ideas you can 't write. M y strengths as a writer are m y im agination , m y ability to follow in struc tions a n d m y ability to understand what I a m w riting about.I could im prove m y spelling and m y wording.

C assie's version of her life

When I selected the students for this study, I really did not know

w hat activities they considered most important in their lives. Knowing

w hat they do for fun or fulfilment has certainly helped me to see the whole

student more clearly. I am still delighted by knowing the importance art

plays in their lives. Music, dance, and poetry are all mentioned as serious

in terests by each of the students a t some point. Cassie's consuming

passion is dance:

The gam e o f m y life isn 't really a g a m e bu t an art.I t 's dancing. I've been dancing since I w as about four ... I fee l i t has influenced m e a lo t more than I som etim es realize. I th in k tha t da n c in g has brought m e a lot o f courage and self-esteem . I can express m y se lf when I dance. I a lso g a in confidence a n d lose fear o f confrontation because I perform fo r large audiences. A fte r I dance I feelgood, in fa c t I ’m quite ecstatic a fter I dance.

167


Usually before I perform I'm nervous but as soon

as I go on stage a feeling comes over me and I

don't feel people watching me. It's just me and

my dancing and no one else. I don't want to ever

stop. In fact, besides dancing on stage or at the

studio, I dance at home. I dance. I practice

balance leaps. I don't know what I'd do without it,

it is such a big part of my life.

This passage is in stark contrast to the more frequent passages in Cassie's

journal where she writes about being on the outside. She has a keen sense

of what it means to be on the margins, either because of her shy

personality, the physical differences she feels she has or emotional distance

she sometimes experiences from her classmates. Responding to a journal

prompt, Cassie wrote:

Up until grade six I was part of a group I fit in. I

had good friends. I had a best friend. I went out to play and was comfortable with them. I belonged. I didn't have to put a guard up. I could be myself Even now I find I can't trust my friends that I have made. I sometimes don't feel like I belong. ... I have moved a lot I don't know anyone in my area and I usually don't have much to do. I wish I hadn't moved away.

Cassie links her own experiences to literature quite regularly in her

writing. She judges the authenticity of a character's experiences by

measuring them against her own. Cassie's entry about moving was

followed by her response to a story which the class read, "Day of the

Butterfly" by Alice Munro. Cassie had little trouble identifying with the

main character: 169


Usually before I perform I 'm nervous but as soon as I g o o n stage a fee ling comes over m e and I don't feel people w a tch ing me. I t 's ju s t me a n d m y dancing a n d no one else. I d o n 't w ant to ever stop. In fact, besides dancing on stage or a t the studio, I dance a t home. I dance. I practice balance leaps. I d o n 't know w ha t I 'd do w ithout it, it is such a big p a rt o f m y life.

This passage is in stark contrast to the more frequent passages in Cassie's

journal where she writes about being on the outside. She has a keen sense

of what it means to be on the margins, either because of her shy

personality, the physical differences she feels she has or emotional distance

she sometimes experiences from her classmates. Responding to a journal

prompt, Cassie wrote:

Up u n til grade six I w as part o f a g roup I fit in. I had good friends. I h a d a best friend . I went ou t to p lay a n d was comfortable w ith them . I belonged. I d id n 't have to p u t a g u a rd up. I could be myself. Even now I f in d I ca n 't tru st my friends tha t I have made. I som etim es don 't feel like I be long .... I have moved a lo t I don 't know anyone in m y area a n d I usua lly d o n 't have m uch to do. I w ish I h a d n 't moved away.

Cassie links her own experiences to literature quite regularly in her

writing. She judges the authenticity of a character's experiences by

measuring them against her own. Cassie's entry about moving was

followed by her response to a story which the class read, "Day of the

Butterfly" by Alice Munro. Cassie had little trouble identifying with the

main character:168


I remember being teased and made fun of because

of physical features such as my hair, which is

curly. People would pull my hair to see it bounce for their own pleasure. Even though it hurt and

bugged me. I believe it happens because people

like to make others mad for their own satisfaction

.. For these taunting people I don't believe tougher

punishments would work ... All you can do is

tolerate the person and wait it out.

Cassie is a reader and not surprisingly, her responses to literature reveal

important dimensions of who she is. Her response to the Jean Rhys story

"I Used to Live Here Once" shows the way she empathises with

marginalized characters. I think she is a person who is comforted by

recognizing her own experience of the world in literature. It may account

for why she rereads books she associates with positive times in her own life.

In our conversation we discussed her "reading" of the story, which differed

from the majority of the class who read the piece as a ghost story. I asked

her which side of the debate she was on, and she replied:

A: Race / because at the end the boy looked straight at her / so I believe she was there / she was there and it was a matter of race V: And what did she know? A: Well it's hard to say / like in one way she knew that / that her childhood was past / and it was just memories and in another way I think that she knew people are racist so / 1 1

Cassie did not agree with students who thought the character in the story

was a ghost, and therefore was ignored by the other characters. To her, 169


I rem em ber being teased a n d m ade fu n o f because o f physica l features such as m y hair, w hich is curly. People would p u ll m y ha ir to see i t bounce for their ow n pleasure. E ven though it hu rt and bugged me. I believe it happens because people like to m ake others m ad for their own satisfaction .. For these taun ting people I don 't believe tougher p u n ish m en ts would work ... A ll you can do is tolerate the person and w a it it out.

Cassie is a reader and not surprisingly, her responses to literature reveal

important dimensions of who she is. Her response to the Jean Rhys story

"I Used to Live Here Once" shows the way she empathises with

marginalized characters. I think she is a person who is comforted by

recognizing her own experience of the world in literature. It m ay account

for why she rereads books she associates with positive times in her own life.

In our conversation we discussed her "reading" of the story, which differed

from the majority of the class who read the piece as a ghost story. I asked

her which side of the debate she was on, and she replied:

A: Race / because a t the end the boy looked stra igh t a t her / s o l believe she was there I she was there and it w as a m atter o f race V: A n d w h a t d id she know ?A: Well it 's hard to say / like in one way she knew that / th a t her childhood w as past / a n d it was ju s t m em ories a n d in another way I th ink th a t she knew people are racist so I I /

Cassie did not agree with students who thought the character in the story

was a ghost, and therefore was ignored by the other characters. To her,169


racial discrimination was the only plausible reason for the character to be

marginalized.

Cassie's journal writing also focuses on efforts she makes to deal

with her shyness, sometimes to the point of making fun of her own self-

consciousness. Her description of being in the presence of someone she has

a crush on illustrates this, and also is an example of the kind of personal

dramas which are central to hallway experience in our high school.

I was sitting in the main hall with two of my

friends by our lockers. We were eating and

laughing about things. My friends started to a

talk about the guy I have a crush on so I was

getting nervous and telling them to quiet down

just in case people heard or "he" walked by. Well

my friends felt I was over-reacting and threatened

to say his name out loud. Then one of my friends

pointed down the hall and said "Look Cassie here

comes (his name)" At that very moment who

walks past her from the other direction? Yes it

was he. I swear my eyes were bulging out and

when I looked at my friend hers were too. I said,

"oh my god! Terry how could you?" She said "I'm

sorry I didn't mean to. I didn't know he was

there. Well of course the situation started to turn from embarrassing to funny to hysterical laughter. We had to retreat to the bathroom to

recover. I guess in a way I'll never know if he

actually heard and that's good. It is not necessary for journal writing to be linked to key concepts or to the

literature studied in class to be of value to individual students, as this entry

shows. Recording real events for future reference is an important use for

writing in the larger world, and if teachers are concerned with providing

170


racial discrimination was the only plausible reason for the character to be

m arginalized.

Cassie's journal writing also focuses on efforts she makes to deal

with her shyness, sometimes to the point of making fun of her own self-

consciousness. Her description of being in the presence of someone she has

a crush on illustrates this, and also is an example of the kind of personal

dram as which are central to hallway experience in our high school.

I w as sitting in the m ain h a ll w ith tw o o f m y fr iends by our lockers. We were eating a n d laughing about things. M y friends sta rted to a ta lk about the g uy I have a crush on so I was ge tting nervous a n d te lling them to qu ie t dow n ju s t in case people heard or "he" w alked by. Well m y friends fe lt I was over-reacting a n d threatened to say his nam e out loud. T hen one o f m y friends po in ted down the ha ll a n d sa id "Look C assie here comes (his nam e)" A t th a t very m om ent who w alks past her from the o ther direction? Yes it w as he. I sw ear m y eyes were bulging ou t a n d when I looked a t m y fr ien d hers were too. I said,"oh m y god! Terry how could you?" S h e sa id "I'm sorry I d idn 't m ean to. I d id n 't know he w as there. Well o f course the s itua tion sta rted to turn from em barrassing to fu n n y to hysterical laughter. We h a d to retreat to the bathroom to recover. I guess in a way I 'l l never know i f he actually heard a n d th a t's good.

It is not necessary for journal writing to be linked to key concepts or to the

literature studied in class to be of value to individual students, as th is entry

shows. Recording real events for future reference is an im portant use for

writing in the larger world, and if teachers are concerned with providing

170

permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission.

real contexts for writing in the classroom it is important to value this kind

of writing, too. For someone like Cassie, who is hesitant to speak in front of

her classmates but has much to say, journal writing offers a safe forum for

expression. She is able to record her reactions, ideas and experiences for

herself, and simultaneously, communicate with the teacher who responds

in writing, too. For a shy student, a journal provides a chance to converse

with an interested adult, without having to summon the courage to speak

before a class of peers.

Cassie's world of work who she wants to be

Cassie's descriptions of her experiences working and her speculation

about her future life's work are diametrically opposed. The following

abbreviated description of a harrowing baby-sitting experience paints a

picture of a fairly typical event in the life of a teenaged girl. I say typical

because I have read many more just like it in many other young women's

journals.

I baby-sit and when I was about thirteen my family lived in a townhouse. My step dad's cousin lived across from us. She was irresponsible. She had three kids, no father and they were all spoiled. Every weekend she would ask me to baby-sit and most weekends I would. Usually from 7:00 p.m. to 3 or 4 a.m. ... They had no rules and when I baby-sit there are rules. The mom always went to bars and I would hate baby-sitting because the mom always brought home new men. I felt sorry for the kids. ... The town house was always dirty, toys everywhere, clothes everywhere. All the rooms were a mess. Beds not made, no covers or hardly any, maybe a sheet. And worst of all it stunk and was disgusting. ... She came home with her

171


real contexts for writing in the classroom it is im portant to value this kind

of writing, too. For someone like Cassie, who is hesitant to speak in front of

her classmates bu t has much to say, journal writing offers a safe forum for

expression. She is able to record her reactions, ideas and experiences for

herself, and simultaneously, communicate w ith the teacher who responds

in writing, too. For a shy student, a journal provides a chance to converse

with an interested adult, without having to summon the courage to speak

before a class of peers.

Cassie's w orld of work: w ho she wants to be

Cassie's descriptions of her experiences working and her speculation

about her future life's work are diametrically opposed. The following

abbreviated description of a harrowing baby-sitting experience paints a

picture of a fairly typical event in the life of a teenaged girl. I say typical

because I have read many more ju st like it in many other young women’s

journals.

I baby-sit a n d when I was about thirteen m y fa m ily lived in a townhouse. M y step d a d ’s cousin lived across from us. She was irresponsible. She h a d three k ids, no fa ther and they were a ll spoiled.Every weekend she would ask m e to baby-sit a n d m ost w eekends I would. U sually from 7:00 p .m . to 3 or 4 a.m . ... They had no rules a n d when I babysit there are rules. The mom a lw ays w ent to bars a n d I w ould hate baby-sitting because the m om alw ays brought hom e new men. I fe lt sorry fo r the kids. ... The town house was a lw ays dirty, toys everywhere, clothes everywhere. A ll the room s were a mess. B eds not made, no covers or hard ly any, m aybe a sheet. A n d worst o f a ll it s tu n k a n dw as d isgusting . ... She came hom e w ith her

171


friend and two unknown men. Then she got the

guy she was with to drive me home. I mean here

I am stuck in a car with a guy I have ever met

before and I would have called home but I didn't

know until she told me to go to the car and her

"friend" would drive me home. I was so uncomfortable. He asked my questions like "so what's your name?" and "how old are you?" I

waited in the edge of my seat ... My parents and I

decided it wasn't worth it.

Cassie was absorbed by recording this experience, but when she talked

about it in class, her account was more humorous than the written account

in the journal. Many of the girls in class recognized the menacing

presence of the leering driver, and recounted their frightening experiences.

The boys had nothing similar to offer, and on this occasion, did not

dominate the discussion. My notes describing this discussion indicate that

some students did not appear to relate to the story at all. Others were

nodding in agreement but did not offer to talk. There was laughter, but it

was nervous laughter. In this instance, writing provided an avenue for

analyzing shared experiences.

In contrast, the writing Cassie did about the future and work is

idyllic. Cassie would like to be a teacher. She wrote in her journal, "I feel

teaching may be a very good job option for me. It sounds like a fun and

interesting career and even though there are some disadvantages, they

don't discourage me." This is how she imagines a typical day of a teacher:

When I arrive to school, I head to the classroom where I get ready for class. The bell rings and the students come in. I help with their coats and get everyone seated. I teach them math until recess

172


friend a n d tw o unknow n men. Then she got the guy she w as w ith to drive m e home. I m ean here I am stuck in a car w ith a g u y I have ever m et before a n d I w ould have called home but I d id n 't know u n til she to ld me to go to the car a n d her "friend" w ou ld drive me hom e. I was so uncom fortable. H e asked m y questions like "so w hat's y o u r name?" and "how old are you?" I waited in the edge o f m y s e a t ... My paren ts a n d I decided i t w asn 't worth it.

Cassie was absorbed by recording this experience, but when she talked

about it in class, her account was more humorous than the w ritten account

in the journal. Many of the girls in class recognized the menacing

presence of the leering driver, and recounted their frightening experiences.

The boys had nothing sim ilar to offer, and on this occasion, did not

dominate the discussion. My notes describing this discussion indicate th a t

some students did not appear to relate to the story a t all. Others were

nodding in agreement but did not offer to talk. There was laughter, but it

was nervous laughter. In this instance, writing provided an avenue for

analyzing shared experiences.

In contrast, the writing Cassie did about the future and work is

idyllic. Cassie would like to be a teacher. She wrote in her journal, "I feel

teaching may be a very good job option for me. It sounds like a fun and

interesting career and even though there are some disadvantages, they

don't discourage me." This is how she imagines a typical day of a teacher:

When I arrive to school, I head to the classroom where I g e t ready fo r class. The bell rings a n d the studen ts come in. I help w ith their coats a n d get everyone seated. I teach th em m ath u n til recess

172


and then gym until lunch. We play a game and I

keep score. ... During lunch I go out with some

teachers and we talk about our students and our

families. When we get back I head for my class

and teach until I take the kids to the musics room

where another teacher waits. Right then I'm free

and I finish work and tidy the room up. The kids

return. The bell rings. I help the kids get ready to

go. When I'm finished I drive to the baby sitters'

and pick my daughter up. When I get home I

start supper and by the time its ready my husband

arrives home. We all sit around the dinner table

and chat about our day. Afterwards my husband

reads the paper while me and my daughter clean

up.

... At around 10:00 p.m. I decide to go to bed. My

husband stays up awhile longer and I drift to

sleep.

This description is about the kind of personal life she wishes for herself,

and reveals very little concrete information about what a teacher does

during a working day. Cassie did visit and talk with a classroom teacher,

but what the woman told her did not infiltrate the romantic version of

teacher she has constructed for herself.

When she is not speculating about the future, Cassie expresses quite

clearly in her journal what it is she wants for herself. She wants to be like

her mother, the sustaining influence of her life. I can only speculate on

how important being able to articulate this goal is to her personal

development.

I would like to inherit being able to speak out and stand up for myself like my mom. She never lets

173


a nd then gym u n til lunch. We p la y a gam e a n d I keep score. ... D uring lunch I go o u t w ith some teachers and we ta lk about our s tu d en ts and our fam ilies. When we get back I head fo r m y class a n d teach u n til I take the k ids to the m usics room where another teacher waits. R ig h t then I 'm free an d I fin ish work and tid y the room up. The k id s return. The bell rings. I help the k id s g e t ready to go. When I 'm fin ished I drive to the baby sitters' and p ick m y daughter up. When I ge t hom e I sta rt supper and by the tim e its ready m y husband arrives home. We all s it around the d in n er table a n d chat about our day. A fterw ards m y husband reads the paper w hile m e and m y d a u g h ter clean up.... A t around 10:00 p.m . I decide to go to bed. M y husband stays up aw hile longer a n d I d r ift to sleep.

This description is about the kind of personal life she wishes for herself,

and reveals very little concrete information about w hat a teacher does

during a working day. Cassie did visit and talk w ith a classroom teacher,

but w hat the woman told her did not infiltrate the romantic version of

teacher she has constructed for herself.

When she is not speculating about the future, Cassie expresses quite

clearly in her journal what it is she wants for herself. She wants to be like

her mother, the sustaining influence of her life. I can only speculate on

how im portant being able to articulate this goal is to her personal

development.

I would like to inherit being able to speak out a n d stand up for m yse lf like m y mom. S h e never lets

173


people put her down or push her in a direction she

doesn't want to go and she'll speak up and tell

people exactly what she wants and won't put up

with anything from anyone. I feel it important to

be able to stand up for yourself

An eager student, Cassie is preparing herself to be an independent,

resourceful adult. She has begun to recognize who she is, what she wants,

and how she might reach her goals. The journal is a written record of

thinking and learning. In other writing activities, she has learned to

integrate quotes, organize an argument and write in third person but none

of these skills appear to possess the same kind of power that the words in

her journal do. I wrote about Cassie last because she was the most difficult

for me to understand for these reasons: I have not known her long; she

takes huge risks in her writing; and at first, she appeared to me to be the

most vulnerable of the students in the study. My fear that she would not be

done justice by my words continues to haunt me, as the same fear does with

the other students. But Cassie showed me through her writing and her

work in class that she intends to learn what she needs to know to become

the person she imagines. She will write the most, read the most and be the

most resilient if necessary. A kernel of myself recognizes in Cassie a

quality that made me a teacher, and she and I am able to relate on this

level. What I think she needed most from her English teacher was

encouragement to grow and learn. This is the most important lesson I

learned while writing about Cassie.

From my classroom experiences, I have learned that teaching

writing has depended on knowing each student and knowing myself.

I've come to see that just as a real writer takes

174


people p u t h er dow n or p u s h her in a d irection she doesn't w an t to go and sh e 'll speak up a n d tell people exactly w h a t she w a n ts a nd w on 't p u t up w ith a n y th in g from anyone. I feel it im p o rta n t to be able to s ta n d up for y o u rse lf

An eager student, Cassie is preparing herself to be an independent,

resourceful adult. She has begun to recognize who she is, w hat she wants,

and how she might reach her goals. The journal is a w ritten record of

thinking and learning. In other writing activities, she has learned to

integrate quotes, organize an argum ent and write in th ird person but none

of these skills appear to possess the same kind of power th a t the words in

her journal do. I wrote about Cassie last because she was the m ost difficult

for me to understand for these reasons: I have not known her long; she

takes huge risks in her writing; and a t first, she appeared to me to be the

most vulnerable of the students in the study. My fear th a t she would not be

done justice by my words continues to haun t me, as the same fear does with

the other students. But Cassie showed me through her writing and her

work in class th a t she in tends to learn w hat she needs to know to become

the person she imagines. She will w rite the most, read the most and be the

most resilient if necessary. A kernel of myself recognizes in Cassie a

quality tha t made me a teacher, and she and I am able to relate on this

level. What I think she needed most from her English teacher was

encouragement to grow and learn. This is the most im portant lesson I

learned while writing about Cassie.

From my classroom experiences, I have learned th a t teaching

writing has depended on knowing each student and knowing myself.

I've come to see th a t ju s t as a real writer takes

174

permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission.

what he or she needs from a teacher, so, too, a writing teacher gives what he or she can. ... It is my duty to be a certain kind of a teacher, to try to be consistent in the values that I try to convey to my students, and to let them use me as they will -as I use my teachers (Huddle, 1991, p.75).

By striving to discover what kinds of writing they are "good at," and

encouraging them to "do it", my students and I have been able to move in

significant new directions as learners and writers, together.

175


what he or she needs from a teacher, so, too, a writing teacher gives what he or she can. ... It is my duty to be a certain kind of a teacher, to try to be consistent in the values that I try to convey to my students, and to let them use me as they will - as I use my teachers (Huddle, 1991, p.75).

By striving to discover w hat kinds of writing they are "good at," and

encouraging them to "do it", my students and I have been able to move in

significant new directions as learners and writers, together.

175


Part Four: Where we should travel next

The purpose of interpretive case studies is not to contribute to rigid developmental portraits. Rather, it is to gain insight into the complexity of literacy learning; any proposed universals must come from comparisons of cases carefully situated within diverse social circumstances (Dyson, 1995, p.28).

L What I think I saw

Writing a case study is very much like teaching: there is a myriad of

possible ways to be inadequate. I am grateful the opportunity Aaron, Anne,

Cassie, Jackie, Roger and Sandy gave me by agreeing to participate in my

study. Above all, I seek to be fair to them. The portraits of each student

offered in this study are restricted by my questions and by my ability to

describe and to understand. I realize that other interpretations of their

writing, and of them as writers, were possible. From the data collected, I

could have chosen to examine more specific aspects of their written work.

For example, the frequency of discrete elements of the writing process

appearing in their writing folders could have been the focus, as could have

the influence of gender, class and age on how and what each student wrote

about during the semester. The guidelines I developed to "limit the

boundaries" (Dyson, 1995) were specific to this project, at this time, with

these students. As I stated in Part One, I decided to include anecdotes

recorded in my field notes, and excerpts from the students' writing and

transcripts of their interviews, which in my view revealed what was

distinctive about each of them as individuals, and as writers. To some

degree, my perception of the relationship existing between me and each of

the students is the controlling idea in the organization of each student

portrait.

176


P art Four; Where w e should travel next

The purpose of interpretive case studies is not to contribute to rigid developmental portraits.Rather, it is to gain insight into the complexity of literacy learning; any proposed universals m ust come from comparisons of cases carefully situated w ithin diverse social circumstances (Dyson, 1995,p.28).

L W hat I think I saw

Writing a case study is very much like teaching: there is a myriad of

possible ways to be inadequate. I am grateful the opportunity Aaron, Anne,

Cassie, Jackie, Roger and Sandy gave me by agreeing to participate in my

study. Above all, I seek to be fair to them. The portraits of each student

offered in this study are restricted by my questions and by my ability to

describe and to understand. I realize th a t other interpretations of their

writing, and of them as writers, were possible. From the data collected, I

could have chosen to examine more specific aspects of their written work.

For example, the frequency of discrete elem ents of the writing process

appearing in their writing folders could have been the focus, as could have

the influence of gender, class and age on how and what each student wrote

about during the semester. The guidelines I developed to "limit the

boundaries" (Dyson, 1995) were specific to this project, a t this time, with

these students. As I stated in Part One, I decided to include anecdotes

recorded in my field notes, and excerpts from the students' writing and

transcripts of their interviews, which in my view revealed what was

distinctive about each of them as individuals, and as writers. To some

degree, my perception of the relationship existing between me and each of

the students is the controlling idea in the organization of each student

portrait.

176


Stenhouse (1988) supports the reasonable principle that no data

collected should be used to disadvantage participants, implying that careful

consideration must be given to what might constitute a disadvantage.

Certainly, my obligation to the students' well being in every sense took

precedence over other considerations, and is similar to the obligations

teachers manage every day in the classroom. My desire to present the

students fairly was tempered by my duty to write about aspects of their

classroom experience which might accurately convey ideas and analysis of

relevance to teachers and researchers. I attempted to rely on their own

words as much as possible to preserve accuracy and integrity (Connelly &

Clandinin, 1988), and used narratives to deepen my understanding

(Erickson, 1986).

Narrative reporting has two great strengths: directness and subtlety. Its directness comes partly from the familiarity of its conventions to readers, and partly because the narrative form constrains the author from presenting his or her own logic in the teeth of resistance from the story. Its subtlety lies in a capacity to convey ambiguity concerning cause and effect by selecting information that invites the reader to speculate about alternative interpretations (Stenhouse, 1988, p.52).

Of course, as the collection of data mounted, I developed attachments to

particular stories which the students told me, and at first felt compelled to

include these stories in the case studies without being certain of their

significance. Revision resulted in clearer vision.

Thinking about why certain incidents resonated more deeply than

others is similar to what van Manen (1991) refers to as pedagogical

reflection, which is thinking "oriented toward understanding the

pedagogical significance of events and situations in children's lives" (p.41). 177


Stenhouse (1988) supports the reasonable principle that no data

collected should be used to disadvantage participants, implying th a t careful

consideration must be given to w hat might constitute a disadvantage.

Certainly, my obligation to the students' well being in every sense took

precedence over other considerations, and is similar to the obligations

teachers manage every day in the classroom. My desire to present the

students fairly was tempered by my duty to write about aspects of their

classroom experience which might accurately convey ideas and analysis of

relevance to teachers and researchers. I attempted to rely on their own

words as much as possible to preserve accuracy and integrity (Connelly &

Clandinin, 1988), and used narratives to deepen my understanding

(Erickson, 1986).

Narrative reporting has two great strengths: directness and subtlety. Its directness comes partly from the familiarity of its conventions to readers, and partly because the narrative form constrains the author from presenting his or her own logic in the teeth of resistance from the story.Its subtlety lies in a capacity to convey ambiguity concerning cause and effect by selecting information th a t invites the reader to speculate about alternative interpretations (Stenhouse, 1988, p.52).

Of course, as the collection of data mounted, I developed attachm ents to

particular stories which the students told me, and a t first felt compelled to

include these stories in the case studies without being certain of their

significance. Revision resulted in clearer vision.

Thinking about why certain incidents resonated more deeply than

others is similar to w hat van Manen (1991) refers to as pedagogical

reflection, which is thinking "oriented toward understanding the

pedagogical significance of events and situations in children's lives" (p.41).177


Especially in student writing, which routinely includes references to life

outside the classroom, nurturing a personal knowledge of students' lives

seems fundamental for a writing teacher to be effective. "It is a crucial

feature of teaching that the educator understands a child's learning and

development in the context of the larger biography of the child" (van

Manen, 1991, p.53). While it is not possible, or even appropriate, to include

every aspect of a relationship in a case study, a sense of the whole student's

life must be included to give the work credibility.

The conversations with students provided an entry point for

understanding how their writing for English class and for their "real" lives

connect. The social roles students assume in the classroom and outside of

it, in their other lives, influence the purposes they have for writing.

Writing is a tool the students in this study use to negotiate their social roles

in the classroom and to understand their roles in the larger world. I was

aware from the beginning that the pedagogical relationship the teacher and

student develop is critical to learning. What I needed to know more fully

was how other relationships in the classroom influenced their writing and

learning.

To conclude this study I will discuss four separate points which

summarize the findings: students see themselves as successful writers;

students use writing to create their own meanings; students perceive peer

relationships as the most important in the classroom; students present and

construct a self using writing. I have introduced some additional data to

elaborate on individual points. Literary quotes are used to introduce the

points, when quotes from other sources did not seem adequate. As English

teachers know, when seeking transcendent truths, literature is the best

place to look.

178


Especially in student writing, which routinely includes references to life

outside the classroom, nurturing a personal knowledge of s tuden ts’ lives

seems fundam ental for a writing teacher to be effective. "It is a crucial

feature of teaching th a t the educator understands a child's learning and

development in the context of the larger biography of the child" (van

Manen, 1991, p.53). While it is not possible, or even appropriate, to include

every aspect of a relationship in a case study, a sense of the whole student's

life m ust be included to give the work credibility.

The conversations with students provided an entry point for

understanding how their writing for English class and for th e ir "real" lives

connect. The social roles students assume in the classroom and outside of

it, in their other lives, influence the purposes they have for writing.

W riting is a tool the students in this study use to negotiate th e ir social roles

in the classroom and to understand their roles in the larger world. I was

aware from the beginning th a t the pedagogical relationship the teacher and

student develop is critical to learning. What I needed to know more fully

was how other relationships in the classroom influenced th e ir writing and

learn ing .

To conclude this study I will discuss four separate points which

summarize the findings: students see themselves as successful writers;

students use writing to create their own meanings; students perceive peer

relationships as the most im portant in the classroom; students present and

construct a self using writing. I have introduced some additional data to

elaborate on individual points. Literary quotes are used to introduce the

points, when quotes from other sources did not seem adequate. As English

teachers know, when seeking transcendent tru ths, literature is the best

place to look.

178


A. Students see themselves as successful writers

That was the first time she knew (Rhys, 1989, p.2).

When I chose student participants for this study, I deliberately

avoided asking student writers who were generally recognized as being

strong writers by other English teachers. It is true that all of the students

expressed at different times the need or desire to become a better writer, but

their reasons for wanting to improve varied radically. Aaron wanted to

learn what he had to, to pass English, and graduate high school. Jackie

and Sandy talked about being journalists, and knew they had to write

clearly to achieve that goal. Jackie's journal, thick as a rural phonebook,

and Sandy's poetry, which she could not stop writing if she tried, made both

students interesting to me. Cassie and Anne wrote so diligently in their

journals, I admit being curious to understand their compulsion. Roger

talked so well, and befriended all the serious writers at school, that he was

of interest; I wanted to understand why he did not write more. But I did not

know that the opinions of teachers, as expressed by grades, would not

seriously affect how the students in the study would evaluate their writing.

By their own terms, all of these students saw themselves as

successful writers. Writing did not present them with any special

frustrations, despite Roger's recognition that "writing is never finished",

and Aaron's aversion to "far-fetched" topics. Except for Aaron, all of the

students expressed the view that writing acted as a source of solace, growth

and creativity in their lives. These three factors seem to be very important

to the students' view of their own writing. Anne said she saw the journal

as "the most important part of English class," because she learned so much

179


A. Students see themselves as successful w rite rs

That was the first time she knew (Rhys, 1989, p.2).

When I chose student participants for th is study, I deliberately

avoided asking student writers who were generally recognized as being

strong w riters by other English teachers. It is true th a t all of the students

expressed a t different times the need or desire to become a better writer, but

their reasons for wanting to improve varied radically. Aaron wanted to

learn w hat he had to, to pass English, and graduate high school. Jackie

and Sandy talked about being journalists, and knew they had to write

clearly to achieve tha t goal. Jackie's journal, thick as a rural phonebook,

and Sandy’s poetry, which she could not stop w riting if she tried, made both

students interesting to me. Cassie and Anne wrote so diligently in their

journals, I adm it being curious to understand th e ir compulsion. Roger

talked so well, and befriended all the serious w riters a t school, th a t he was

of interest; I wanted to understand why he did not write more. But I did not

know th a t the opinions of teachers, as expressed by grades, would not

seriously affect how the students in the study would evaluate their writing.

By their own terms, all of these students saw themselves as

successful writers. W riting did not present them with any special

frustrations, despite Roger's recognition that "writing is never finished",

and Aaron's aversion to "far-fetched" topics. Except for Aaron, all of the

students expressed the view that writing acted as a source of solace, growth

and creativity in their lives. These three factors seem to be very im portant

to the students' view of their own writing. Anne said she saw the journal

as "the most im portant p art of English class," because she learned so much

179


about her ideology. Cassie spent time trying to write novels, even though

"there is so little time / with dancing / homework / and stuff." Sandy,

unable to conceive of any other way to find "release," wrote poetry every day.

She said, "people enjoy my work." Roger continued to revise a play he

began three years before, seeking the advice and support of his friends who

write. Jackie routinely wrote about her problems, often in her school

journal, to vent her feelings and to make sense of her experiences. Aaron

believed what writing problems he has "will be sorted out by grade twelve,"

and felt confident that he writes well enough to achieve his stated goals.

The fact that they were not lauded for their efforts in school, either by high

marks or other external rewards, did not appear to influence their personal

assessment of their skills. Given this observation, English teachers might

be advised to evaluate the amount of time they spend marking writing, and

consider other uses for their teaching time.

B. Students use writing to create their own meanings

Writing is not only a means of representing an individual's meaning; it also serves to mediate relationships between writers and others (Dyson, 1995, p.16)

I observed that each student in the study used writing to create their

own meanings. Even when I carefully structured a writing assignment,

the students made subtle changes so that the writing suited their own

purposes. Whether analyzing or presenting experience, responding to

literature, or considering issues raised in discussion, students repeatedly

moved in new directions in their assignments which I did not anticipate

and which surprised me. Every published assignment bore the mark of its

author, making it different from the others, perhaps because of the

180


about her ideology. Cassie spent time trying to write novels, even though

"there is so little time / with dancing / homework / and stuff." Sandy,

unable to conceive of any other way to find "release," wrote poetry every day.

She said, "people enjoy my work." Roger continued to revise a play he

began three years before, seeking the advice and support of his friends who

write. Jackie routinely wrote about her problems, often in her school

journal, to vent her feelings and to make sense of her experiences. Aaron

believed what writing problems he has "will be sorted out by grade twelve,"

and felt confident th a t he writes well enough to achieve his stated goals.

The fact th a t they were not lauded for their efforts in school, either by high

m arks or other external rewards, did not appear to influence their personal

assessm ent of their skills. Given this observation, English teachers might

be advised to evaluate the amount of time they spend marking writing, and

consider other uses for their teaching time.

B. Students use w riting to create their own m eanings

Writing is not only a means of representing an individual's meaning; it also serves to mediate relationships between writers and others (Dyson,1995, p. 16)

I observed th a t each student in the study used writing to create their

own meanings. Even when I carefully structured a writing assignment,

the students made subtle changes so tha t the writing suited their own

purposes. W hether analyzing or presenting experience, responding to

literature, or considering issues raised in discussion, students repeatedly

moved in new directions in their assignments which I did not anticipate

and which surprised me. Every published assignment bore the m ark of its

author, making it different from the others, perhaps because of the

180


emphasis on revision and collaboration in the workshop. Even in the case

of teacher sponsored assignments, such as the career research paper,

students wrote the spirit of themselves and their view of the world into their

work. What follows is a description of a series of activities related to the

research papers. Tannen (1989) writes that "scenes" evoke the existing

relationships between people, who are able to recognize what is personally

and culturally meaningful to them through their interactions. In career

search role plays, the students constructed their concept of career in our

culture.

At our school, in grade eleven, teachers are encouraged to teach

students skills for seeking employment. In English class that generally

means writing resumes, and letters of application, as well as spending

time developing interviewing skills. Of all the assignments I give students,

these are by far the most rigid. All of the students in this study participated

in this unit.

Each student filled out an application form for the Mulholland

Employment Agency, a generic document I created as part of a job search

simulation activity. Students have a thousand questions about what to

write on such a document, ranging from how to punctuate specific

information to whether "community service hours" should be included

under work experience. I prepared a Job Board of real advertisements

from the newspaper, to which some or all of the students in the class were

qualified to apply. Although fast-food jobs predominated, positions as life

guards, dance camp instructors and office clerks were included. Every

student "applied" for at least one job for which they had legitimate

qualifications, and each was interviewed by a two-member panel of their

classmates who role-played potential employers. Prospective student

employees wrote letters of application for specific jobs, which they 181


emphasis on revision and collaboration in the workshop. Even in the case

of teacher sponsored assignments, such as the career research paper,

students wrote the spirit of themselves and their view of the world into their

work. What follows is a description of a series of activities related to the

research papers. Tannen (1989) writes th a t "scenes" evoke the existing

relationships between people, who are able to recognize w hat is personally

and culturally meaningful to them through their interactions. In career

search role plays, the students constructed their concept of career in our

culture.

At our school, in grade eleven, teachers are encouraged to teach

students skills for seeking employment. In English class th a t generally

means writing resumes, and letters of application, as well as spending

tim e developing interviewing skills. Of all the assignments I give students,

these are by far the most rigid. All of the students in this study participated

in th is unit.

Each student filled out an application form for the Mulholland

Employment Agency, a generic document I created as part of a job search

simulation activity. Students have a thousand questions about what to

write on such a document, ranging from how to punctuate specific

information to whether "community service hours" should be included

under work experience. I prepared a Job Board of real advertisements

from the newspaper, to which some or all of the students in the class were

qualified to apply. Although fast-food jobs predominated, positions as life

guards, dance camp instructors and office clerks were included. Every

student "applied" for a t least one job for which they had legitimate

qualifications, and each was interviewed by a two-member panel of th e ir

classmates who role-played potential employers. Prospective student

employees wrote letters of application for specific jobs, which they181


submitted to the students assigned to be responsible for each job on the Job

Board. Each student acted at least once as the employer and as a potential

employee.

Part of preparing for the employer role required students to prepare

suitable questions to ask the applicants. The interviews were conducted in

front of an audience of classmates who gave oral and written feedback to the

student being interviewed. The purpose of the feedback was to help the

students develop and improve interviewing skills; the students' experience

with giving and receiving feedback in the writer's workshop assisted in the

process. In the class evaluation forms, most of the students identified this

activity as one of the most valuable, practical assignments of the semester.

They took it very seriously.

Initially, each student had two jobs from the board to focus on, but

after students witnessed a few of the role plays, they shifted their choices.

Stacey, a student mentioned earlier as one of the authors of the soap opera

parody proposal, was much sought after by potential employees as a result

of the mock interviews she conducted. She has a mind for detail. As the

simulation activity developed, Stacey constructed the dream job: she was

looking for a "highly motivated teenager" to organize an activity program

for six to twelve ten year olds, which involved planning in the morning,

leading activities all afternoon, and working only four days a week for the

whole summer. Starting time was about ten in the morning. Stacey

created this job from an uninspiring ad, "Hiring students with experience

caring for children. Flexible hours." As the simulation activity blossomed,

I realized the students transformed a very structured assignment into

creative writing, right under my nose.

With each interview, Stacey and her partner Carolyn became more

adept at describing the requirements of the job. The search for the ideal /82


subm itted to the students assigned to be responsible for each job on the Job

Board. Each student acted a t least once as the employer and as a potential

employee.

P art of preparing for the employer role required students to prepare

suitable questions to ask the applicants. The interviews were conducted in

front of an audience of classmates who gave oral and w ritten feedback to the

student being interviewed. The purpose of the feedback was to help the

students develop and improve interviewing skills; the students' experience

w ith giving and receiving feedback in the w riter's workshop assisted in the

process. In the class evaluation forms, most of the students identified this

activity as one of the most valuable, practical assignments of the semester.

They took it very seriously.

Initially, each student had two jobs from the board to focus on, but

after students witnessed a few of the role plays, they shifted their choices.

Stacey, a student mentioned earlier as one of the authors of the soap opera

parody proposal, was much sought after by potential employees as a result

of the mock interviews she conducted. She has a mind for detail. As the

simulation activity developed, Stacey constructed the dream job: she was

looking for a "highly motivated teenager" to organize an activity program

for six to twelve ten year olds, which involved planning in the morning,

leading activities all afternoon, and working only four days a week for the

whole summer. S tarting time was about ten in the morning. Stacey

created this job from an uninspiring ad, "Hiring students w ith experience

caring for children. Flexible hours." As the simulation activity blossomed,

I realized the students transformed a very structured assignm ent into

creative writing, righ t under my nose.

With each interview, Stacey and her partner Carolyn became more

adept a t describing the requirements of the job. The search for the ideal182


applicant became a serial, with the classroom audience eagerly

anticipating who would emerge as the best candidate, who would make the

best impression and "get the job." I was enmeshed in the drama and

considered applying for the job Stacey and Carolyn described as they

interviewed their classmates. It sounded ideal. Of course, there was no

job. We were at school, and this was a simulation activity.

In contrast, Jackie turned out to be an intimidating potential

employer. Some candidates withdrew their applications for a job working

in a clothing store which she was responsible for, because they were afraid

to "mess up" during the questioning in their mock interview. Jackie's

experience working in, as she described it in her resume - "the retail

sector" - resulted in her and her partner Rob preparing very penetrating

and appropriate questions. Rob warmly greeted each wary applicant, but

from then on, it was Jackie's show. To say that Jackie's interviews were

realistic is an understatement. She was formidable. After she shook the

hand of the brave applicant, and resumed her position behind the desk, I

noticed that the posture of everyone in the role play improved. The written

feedback she received described her as "forceful, exacting" and "scary."

Roger was a thoughtful, kind potential employer, but when he was

interviewed by Noel, another side of him emerged. Roger deconstructed his

interview with an exaggerated, blase attitude which unnerved his student

interrogators. Putting his feet up on their desk, he asked for a cigarette and

proceeded with questions of his own. I realize now, that for sheer drama,

Roger should have applied for Jackie's job.

True to form, Aaron, with his friend Ryan, his partner in the parody

assignment described in Part One, interviewed students for a hot dog

vending job at the hockey arena. Students with previous experience in the

fast food industry, or with no other special qualifications, applied for the 183


applicant became a serial, with the classroom audience eagerly

anticipating who would emerge as the best candidate, who would make the

best impression and "get the job." I was enmeshed in the dram a and

considered applying for the job Stacey and Carolyn described as they

interviewed their classmates. It sounded ideal. Of course, there was no

job. We were at school, and this was a simulation activity.

In contrast, Jackie turned out to be an intimidating potential

employer. Some candidates withdrew their applications for a job working

in a clothing store which she was responsible for, because they were afraid

to "mess up" during the questioning in their mock interview. Jackie's

experience working in, as she described it in her resume - "the retail

sector" - resulted in her and her partner Rob preparing very penetrating

and appropriate questions. Rob warmly greeted each wary applicant, but

from then on, it was Jackie's show. To say that Jackie’s interviews were

realistic is an understatem ent. She was formidable. After she shook the

hand of the brave applicant, and resumed her position behind the desk, I

noticed th a t the posture of everyone in the role play improved. The written

feedback she received described her as "forceful, exacting" and "scary."

Roger was a thoughtful, kind potential employer, but when he was

interviewed by Noel, another side of him emerged. Roger deconstructed his

interview with an exaggerated, blase attitude which unnerved his student

interrogators. Putting his feet up on their desk, he asked for a cigarette and

proceeded with questions of his own. I realize now, th a t for sheer drama,

Roger should have applied for Jackie's job.

True to form, Aaron, with his friend Ryan, his partner in the parody

assignment described in P art One, interviewed students for a hot dog

vending job a t the hockey arena. Students with previous experience in the

fast food industry, or with no other special qualifications, applied for the183


job. These simulated interviews were a rollicking good time, and possessed

a Much Music quality. Anne applied, and was granted an interview by her

friends in real life, Ryan and Aaron. Ryan had dressed up specially to role-

play as the employer; he wore an electric green t-shirt, orange tie, and a

black tuxedo jacket purchased for five dollars at Value Village. Ryan took

off his sun-glasses to conduct the interview, and Aaron removed his

baseball hat. During Anne's interview, Aaron asked her, "Would you fight

to get ahead in the weenie industry?" The class erupted in laughter at his

question. She played it straight, and said her experience in the fast food

industry, and her serious attitude, would make her a valuable employee at

Billy Bob's Weenie Factory. Without being over-bearing, Anne made her

point that this activity should be treated seriously, and even Ryan and

Aaron had to comply with the rules. After a few more failed attempts to

make Anne laugh, they acquiesced. After she left, Ryan confided to Aaron,

"That was a tough one."

While acknowledging that learning to apply for jobs, fill out

applications, write resumes, references and applications, seems too prosaic

to be exciting in the classroom, I have tried to show that the students made

the simulation activity live on their own. They learned something of

practical value, and transformed the activity into something I had not

anticipated. They exceeded my expectations, surpassed my objectives. The

experiences many of them have had working, combined with a collective

anxiety about their future world of work, which was not alluded to in their

talk during the role plays but was referred to in their journals, resulted in a

successful simulation. The mix of student personalities constructed a

world of work within the classroom which the students could control, and

master. My objective was for students to gain experience applying for a job,

for choosing a career. The students appeared to have had other, more 184


job. These simulated interviews were a rollicking good time, and possessed

a Much Music quality. Anne applied, and was granted an interview by her

friends in real life, Ryan and Aaron. Ryan had dressed up specially to role-

play as the employer; he wore an electric green t-shirt, orange tie, and a

black tuxedo jacket purchased for five dollars a t Value Village. Ryan took

off his sun-glasses to conduct the interview, and Aaron removed his

baseball hat. During Anne’s interview, Aaron asked her, "Would you fight

to get ahead in the weenie industry?" The class erupted in laughter at his

question. She played it straight, and said her experience in the fast food

industry, and her serious attitude, would make her a valuable employee a t

Billy Bob's Weenie Factory. Without being over-bearing, Anne made her

point th a t this activity should be treated seriously, and even Ryan and

Aaron had to comply with the rules. After a few more failed attem pts to

make Anne laugh, they acquiesced. After she left, Ryan confided to Aaron,

"That was a tough one."

While acknowledging that learning to apply for jobs, fill out

applications, write resumes, references and applications, seems too prosaic

to be exciting in the classroom, I have tried to show that the students made

the simulation activity live on their own. They learned something of

practical value, and transformed the activity into something I had not

anticipated. They exceeded my expectations, surpassed my objectives. The

experiences many of them have had working, combined with a collective

anxiety about their future world of work, which was not alluded to in their

talk during the role plays but was referred to in their journals, resulted in a

successful simulation. The mix of student personalities constructed a

world of work within the classroom which the students could control, and

master. My objective was for students to gain experience applying for a job,

for choosing a career. The students appeared to have had other, more184


critical objectives, and used a classroom assignment to confront the

unknown, adult world. The students used discourse practices, including

writing, to create meaning, their own meaning, the meaning that has use

in their lives.

C. Students present and construct a self using writing

To write (or paint or perform or compose) is to fashion not so much our identities but bridges that connect various facets of our experience within an incomprehensibly dense and unmapped personal landscape. The goal may be not only to hypothesize the contours of such a psychic terrain but to revel in the act of serving as the architects (or cartographers) of our own imaginations. Writing is an architectural medium: writing language into form, which in turn "writes" the mind that thinks into form (Owens, 1993, p.165)

Schools are bi-cultural institutions. The official school culture, akin

to Sperling's official school roles for students, prescribes and privileges

distinct kinds of behaviours and standards. Students and teachers have

roles to fulfil in the official school culture, and conduct themselves

accordingly; however, there is also the unofficial school culture, which also

influences student and teacher social roles. Personality, social class,

gender and race influence both cultures. The unofficial school culture is

reflected in much of the writing discussed in this study. Certainly, in Part

One the collaborative writing is dominated by subjects retrieved from the

unofficial school culture: the world of popular entertainment favoured by

students. The influence of friendships and other relationships also affect

the official school culture. The "selves" that each student constructs and

presents in school exists within each of these cultures.

The pieces students select to read to the class reveal the side of 185


critical objectives, and used a classroom assignment to confront the

unknown, adult world. The students used discourse practices, including

writing, to create meaning, their own meaning, the meaning th a t has use

in their lives.

C. Students present and construct a self using w riting

To write (or paint or perform or compose) is to fashion not so much our identities but bridges th a t connect various facets of our experience within an incomprehensibly dense and unmapped personal landscape. The goal m ay be not only to hypothesize the contours of such a psychic terrain but to revel in the act of serving as the architects (or cartographers) of our own imaginations.Writing is an architectural medium: w riting language into form, which in turn "writes" the mind th a t thinks into form (Owens, 1993, p. 165)

Schools are bi-cultural institutions. The official school culture, akin

to Sperling's official school roles for students, prescribes and privileges

distinct kinds of behaviours and standards. Students and teachers have

roles to fulfil in the official school culture, and conduct themselves

accordingly; however, there is also the unofficial school culture, which also

influences student and teacher social roles. Personality, social class,

gender and race influence both cultures. The unofficial school culture is

reflected in much of the writing discussed in this study. Certainly, in Part

One the collaborative writing is dominated by subjects retrieved from the

unofficial school culture: the world of popular entertainm ent favoured by

students. The influence of friendships and other relationships also affect

the official school culture. The "selves" th a t each student constructs and

presents in school exists within each of these cultures.

The pieces students select to read to the class reveal the side of185


themselves, "the self," they wish to present to other students. Aaron,

whether consciously or not, during author's chair, became what I referred

to earlier as "Aaron the entertainer." His sense of humour, conveyed so

effectively in his writing, became a tool for social success. His social self

was confident, appealing and competent. Anne shared personal

experiences and insights which challenged prevailing opinions, resisted

popular interpretations. She emerged as the class dissident philosopher.

Roger "performed" assignments, often ignoring my stated objectives, and

was successfully received by his classmates. He did not talk the way other

students do, nor did he concern himself with popular subjects, but he was

not censured for these infractions of the silent social rules. What he wrote

and performed allowed him to negotiate a distinct place for himself within

the classroom. Jackie dominated most social situations in class, using

language as a medium of control. A popular trendsetter, she used her

fluency sometimes to impress, and other times, to intimidate her

classmates. By choosing to read her own poetry to the class, Sandy exposed

herself as a serious writer. She took an enormous social risk, but was

confident enough about the quality of her work that she proceeded where

others may have faltered. She brought her world into the classroom world.

The persona each student presented to the class mirrored aspects of

themselves revealed in their journals and other writing assignments. They

developed what Gilyard (1991) identifies as the voice of a competent user of

language.

I have discussed how students used writing in school for purposes

outside the formal curriculum: to effect and maintain social relationships

in the school community; to work out personal issues; and to construct

their concepts of how the larger society works; and to construct themselves.

Writing about the functions and uses of literacy, Heath (1986) states that, 186


themselves, "the self," they wish to present to other students. Aaron,

whether consciously or not, during author's chair, became w hat I referred

to earlier as "Aaron the entertainer." His sense of humour, conveyed so

effectively in his writing, became a tool for social success. His social self

was confident, appealing and competent. Anne shared personal

experiences and insights which challenged prevailing opinions, resisted

popular interpretations. She emerged as the class dissident philosopher.

Roger "performed" assignments, often ignoring my stated objectives, and

was successfully received by his classmates. He did not talk the way other

students do, nor did he concern him self with popular subjects, but he was

not censured for these infractions of the silent social rules. W hat he wrote

and performed allowed him to negotiate a distinct place for himself w ithin

the classroom. Jackie dominated most social situations in class, using

language as a medium of control. A popular trendsetter, she used her

fluency sometimes to impress, and other times, to intim idate her

classmates. By choosing to read her own poetry to the class, Sandy exposed

herself as a serious writer. She took an enormous social risk, but was

confident enough about the quality of her work th a t she proceeded where

others may have faltered. She brought her world into the classroom world.

The persona each student presented to the class mirrored aspects of

themselves revealed in their journals and other writing assignments. They

developed what Gilyard (1991) identifies as the voice of a competent user of

language.

I have discussed how students used writing in school for purposes

outside the formal curriculum: to effect and m aintain social relationships

in the school community; to work out personal issues; and to construct

their concepts of how the larger society works; and to construct themselves.

Writing about the functions and uses of literacy, Heath (1986) states that,186


"learners frequently possess and display in out-of-school contexts skills

relevant to using literacy that are not effectively exploited in school learning

environments" (119). Regarding the students in this study, the writing

Sandy and Roger do outside of class relate directly to Heath's point. In

English class, both students have been required to focus on transactional

writing, a form privileged by school (Farr, 1993), and perhaps society, but

not one they are most comfortable using. Neither Roger or Sandy saw

school as a place where their writing was valued. In his interview, Roger

did express the hope that all English teachers would recognize writing that

transcended the marking guide, but he did not appear terribly concerned

that they do. Real writing is something they did in their real lives; writing

in school is, as Roger described it, "mechanical" and something to be

endured.

I am not suggesting that schools indulge individual students'

preferences, permitting them to write using only forms they value, to the

exclusion of all others; however, I do suggest that teachers broaden their

concepts of what qualifies as writing for school. Writing serves a variety of

valid purposes in our lives. When teachers incorporate the interests and

concerns of the world outside the classroom, as part of the formal

curriculum, and when students control more of the writing variables, more

of these purposes are fulfilled. I suggest that teachers do a disservice to

students if they are consistently prescriptive in setting assignments that

limit individual variation.

To deny the importance of expressive and poetic writing in high

school is done so at our peril. The student writing I read, and reread

showed me again, what I should know. Writing is an "architectural

medium." It is one way students construct the world around them. Given

the complexity of the world students face, anything teachers do to inhibit 187


"learners frequently possess and display in out-of-school contexts skills

relevant to using literacy th a t are not effectively exploited in school learning

environments" (119). Regarding the students in this study, the writing

Sandy and Roger do outside of class relate directly to Heath's point. In

English class, both students have been required to focus on transactional

writing, a form privileged by school (Farr, 1993), and perhaps society, but

not one they are most comfortable using. Neither Roger or Sandy saw

school as a place where the ir writing was valued. In his interview, Roger

did express the hope th a t all English teachers would recognize writing that

transcended the marking guide, but he did not appear terribly concerned

that they do. Real writing is something they did in their real lives; writing

in school is, as Roger described it, "mechanical" and something to be

endured.

I am not suggesting th a t schools indulge individual students'

preferences, perm itting them to write using only forms they value, to the

exclusion of all others; however, I do suggest th a t teachers broaden their

concepts of w hat qualifies as writing for school. Writing serves a variety of

valid purposes in our lives. When teachers incorporate the in terests and

concerns of the world outside the classroom, as part of the formal

curriculum, and when students control more of the writing variables, more

of these purposes are fulfilled. I suggest tha t teachers do a disservice to

students if they are consistently prescriptive in setting assignments that

lim it individual variation.

To deny the importance of expressive and poetic writing in high

school is done so a t our peril. The student writing I read, and reread

showed me again, what I should know. Writing is an "architectural

medium." It is one way students construct the world around them. Given

the complexity of the world students face, anything teachers do to inhibit187


the full use of writing, in all its dimensions, is a serious concern.

Language is the way we interpret, represent, document and express our

experience and our thinking. Writing is a critical part of learning, and of

knowing the culture and one's self. Individuals appear to have distinctive

ways of using language for these purposes, and teachers have the power to

permit students to find the ways that serve them best to learn and know.

The study showed me that despite what we do in school to inhibit such

discoveries, these students found their own useful purposes for writing.

IL Implications for teaching writing

Some final thoughts:

A teacher's knowledge consists not only of subject matter but also of knowledge of concrete interactions of particular students in classrooms (House, 1991, p.2

The best teacher lodges an intent not in the mind but in the heart (Michaels, 1996, p.121).

What always drove her to let fly was Wayne's sudden barks of laughter when she was speaking. Teacher always assumed his outbursts were calculated displays of disrespect for her authority. It might have been much worse if she had detected the real reason for his amusement (Vanderhaeghe, 1992, p. 135).

There are times when I am certain I understand the subtleties and

nuances of relationships, the social inner workings of the classes I teach,

but most of the time I am able to keep such megalomaniacal impulses

under check. It appears that most students are interested in maintaining a

productive working relationship with the teacher. What constitutes

"productive" varies from student to student: for some, it means keeping the

teacher at bay by being obedient, or at least unobtrusive; for others, it means

188


the full use of writing, in all its dimensions, is a serious concern.

Language is the way we interpret, represent, document and express our

experience and our thinking. Writing is a critical p a rt of learning, and of

knowing the culture and one's self. Individuals appear to have distinctive

ways of using language for these purposes, and teachers have the power to

perm it students to find the ways that serve them best to learn and know.

The study showed me th a t despite what we do in school to inhibit such

discoveries, these students found their own useful purposes for writing.

EL Im plications for teaching w riting

Some final thoughts:

A teacher's knowledge consists not only of subject m atter but also of knowledge of concrete interactions of particular students in classrooms (House, 1991, p.2

The best teacher lodges an in tent not in the mind but in the heart (Michaels, 1996, p. 121).

W hat always drove her to let fly was Wayne's sudden barks of laughter when she was speaking.Teacher always assumed his outbursts were calculated displays of disrespect for her authority.It might have been much worse if she had detected the real reason for his amusement (Vanderhaeghe, 1992, p. 135).

There are times when I am certain I understand the subtleties and

nuances of relationships, the social inner workings of the classes I teach,

bu t most of the time I am able to keep such megalomaniacal impulses

under check. It appears th a t most students are interested in m aintaining a

productive working relationship with the teacher. W hat constitutes

"productive" varies from student to student: for some, it means keeping the

teacher a t bay by being obedient, or a t least unobtrusive; for others, it means

188


engaging the teacher in acceptable social discourse, talking after class or

asking for extra help. Very few students seem interested in deliberately

antagonizing the teacher, and even in those situations where the student is

openly hostile, it could be argued that the student is still establishing a

social relationship, however perverse. Despite this recognition that

students use classroom behaviours to establish and maintain a social

connection to the teacher, their friendships and acquaintances with other

students dominate the social interactions which make up the classroom

community. As they should.

At different points during the time I collected data, all of the students

concerned were observed using writing to establish or maintain

relationships with peers. Collaborating, either by writing together or

through peer conferencing, is the most obvious example; however, these

activities were required of students by me and may be considered part of the

official school culture. Students used writing to cultivate relationships

outside the official school culture, too, during class time. Writing each

other notes, exchanging drafts during free-writes, responding to journal

entries and collaborating when not required to do so, all indicate the nature

of the social structures existing within the classroom. Who students

selected as partners for group work reflect their friendships outside class,

as evidenced in the configurations described in Part One. Dyson (1987)

observed very similar patterns in primary grades, and noted that "when

writing becomes subject to the rigid and hierarchical evaluation of the

institution of schooling, written language in the official school world may

not longer be a tool to bind children together -- but a divisive force in the

children's social lives" (p.24).

Sperling (1995) refers to two basic kinds of social roles of students:

"Classroom Community Roles," including school roles, and shaping 189


engaging the teacher in acceptable social discourse, talking after class or

asking for extra help. Very few students seem interested in deliberately

antagonizing the teacher, and even in those situations where the student is

openly hostile, it could be argued that the student is still establishing a

social relationship, however perverse. Despite this recognition th a t

students use classroom behaviours to establish and m aintain a social

connection to the teacher, their friendships and acquaintances w ith other

students dominate the social interactions which make up the classroom

community. As they should.

At different points during the time I collected data, all of the students

concerned were observed using writing to establish or m aintain

relationships with peers. Collaborating, either by writing together or

through peer conferencing, is the most obvious example; however, these

activities were required of students by me and may be considered p art of the

official school culture. Students used writing to cultivate relationships

outside the official school culture, too, during class time. Writing each

other notes, exchanging drafts during free-writes, responding to journal

entries and collaborating when not required to do so, all indicate the nature

of the social structures existing within the classroom. Who students

selected as partners for group work reflect their friendships outside class,

as evidenced in the configurations described in P art One. Dyson (1987)

observed very similar patterns in primary grades, and noted th a t "when

writing becomes subject to the rigid and hierarchical evaluation of the

institution of schooling, w ritten language in the official school world may

not longer be a tool to bind children together - but a divisive force in the

children's social lives" (p. 24).

Sperling (1995) refers to two basic kinds of social roles of students:

"Classroom Community Roles," including school roles, and shaping189


friendships and other relationships; and, "Everyday Life Roles," including

observer, historian, prognosticator, critic and philosopher. In this study,

the students I studied practised all of these roles. Primarily, students used

writing, and other discourse practices, to initiate and maintain social

relationships with others in class. Almost always, the relationships had a

direct influence on their work for class, and certainly on their learning.

For some students, such as Aaron, the use of writing for this purpose

was quite readily apparent. He entertained the class with his stories, and

the class responded with respect for his written work. Although he did not

say he was conscious of their approval, after the other students began to

respond enthusiastically to what he wrote, he became a more frequent

participant in the author's chair portion of class. Sandy's reliance on

writing to establish her social self is not as flamboyant as Aaron's

approach, but is as effective. Her network of poetry writing friends outside

of class is very important to her life. When she read her own poems to

class, her classmates gained new respect for her. Their reverent silence,

and such comments as "That's deep," or "We're so awed" are testimony to

their respect. Jackie's ability to write and speak fluently gave her social

power in class: some sought to work with her, recognizing her competence

and efficiency, and others avoided being the subjected to her scrutiny and

high standards. Unknown to her classmates, her journal writing provided

her with an important forum for working out personal issues which had

social ramifications, as in her analysis of "the school newspaper incident."

Cassie used writing to work out relationship difficulties or concerns in

private journal writing, but by sharing some of her written entries was able

to bring forward her view of the world. Although I do not think Anne's

primary goal in writing about her ideology is to influence peer relationships

(it seems clear she does that for herself), she does affect how her classmates 190


friendships and other relationships; and, "Everyday Life Roles," including

observer, historian, prognosticator, critic and philosopher. In th is study,

the students I studied practised all of these roles. Primarily, students used

writing, and other discourse practices, to initiate and m ain tain social

relationships with others in class. Almost always, the relationships had a

direct influence on their work for class, and certainly on th e ir learning.

For some students, such as Aaron, the use of writing for this purpose

was quite readily apparent. He entertained the class with his stories, and

the class responded w ith respect for his written work. Although he did not

say he was conscious of their approval, after the other students began to

respond enthusiastically to what he wrote, he became a more frequent

participant in the author's chair portion of class. Sandy's reliance on

writing to establish her social self is not as flamboyant as Aaron's

approach, but is as effective. Her network of poetry writing friends outside

of class is very im portant to her life. When she read her own poems to

class, her classmates gained new respect for her. Their reveren t silence,

and such comments as "That's deep," or "We're so awed" are testimony to

their respect. Jackie's ability to write and speak fluently gave her social

power in class: some sought to work with her, recognizing her competence

and efficiency, and others avoided being the subjected to h er scrutiny and

high standards. Unknown to her classmates, her journal w riting provided

her w ith an im portant forum for working out personal issues which had

social ramifications, as in her analysis of "the school newspaper incident."

Cassie used writing to work out relationship difficulties or concerns in

private journal writing, but by sharing some of her w ritten entries was able

to bring forward her view of the world. Although I do not th ink Anne's

prim ary goal in writing about her ideology is to influence peer relationships

(it seems clear she does tha t for herself), she does affect how her classmates190


understand the world when she speaks in opposition to what she perceives

as false positions on topics being discussed in class. The popularity of

Roger's writing with his audience, gives him authority to be himself in the

classroom.

Establishing and maintaining a comfortable social climate is

naturally a primary concern in the classroom. Sharing writing,

collaborating on writing, and giving feedback all serve this purposes.

Sperling (1995), referring to the importance of roles to writing and

discourse in the classroom, writes:

A social constructionist reading of role theory invites the position that roles are not available "out there" but are, rather constructed as individuals interact with one another meshing reciprocal, context-specific expectations, assumptions, and needs. Seen this way, role theory converges with Bakhtinian theories of language to suggest that in any context any number of roles can be constructed simultaneously. ... According to this social perspective, writing is influenced by and takes shape through verbal interactions, between the self and others or between the self and previously experiences texts, - and in this sense reflects social dramas that all individuals inhabit, more or less explicitly, moment to moment. This emphasis on the dialogic nature of language advocates teaching writing in ways that give students maximum opportunities, as both writers and readers, to interact with one another around writing tasks ... (p.96).

Opportunities to interact through speaking, listening, and writing activities

promotes learning socially and academically. Although I have recognized

the need to develop a productive class climate, especially in order to

facilitate the collaboration needed in writing workshop, the construction

and maintenance of social relationships I have described extends beyond

my curriculum objectives because it influences, and is influenced by,

students' lives outside of the classroom. 191


understand the world when she speaks in opposition to what she perceives

as false positions on topics being discussed in class. The popularity of

Roger's writing with his audience, gives him authority to be himself in the

classroom.

Establishing and m aintaining a comfortable social climate is

naturally a prim ary concern in the classroom. Sharing writing,

collaborating on writing, and giving feedback all serve this purposes.

Sperling (1995), referring to the importance of roles to writing and

discourse in the classroom, writes:

A social constructionist reading of role theory invites the position th a t roles are not available "out there" but are, ra ther constructed as individuals interact with one another meshing reciprocal, context-specific expectations, assumptions, and needs. Seen this way, role theory converges with Bakhtinian theories of language to suggest that in any context any number of roles can be constructed simultaneously. ... According to this social perspective, writing is influenced by and takes shape through verbal interactions, between the self and others or between the self and previously experiences texts, - and in this sense reflects social dramas th a t all individuals inhabit, more or less explicitly, moment to moment. This emphasis on the dialogic nature of language advocates teaching writing in ways tha t give students maximum opportunities, as both writers and readers, to interact with one another around writing tasks ... (p.96).

Opportunities to interact through speaking, listening, and writing activities

promotes learning socially and academically. Although I have recognized

the need to develop a productive class climate, especially in order to

facilitate the collaboration needed in writing workshop, the construction

and maintenance of social relationships I have described extends beyond

my curriculum objectives because it influences, and is influenced by,

students' lives outside of the classroom.191


And there is something else. After becoming part of my research, all

of the participant students acted as more willing volunteers than they had

before, routinely offering opinions, responses and leadership in classroom

activities. I could count on all of these students to fill the gaps that

inevitably occur during class, however scrupulously prepared the lesson.

For Roger, Anne and especially Jackie, students who always acted as a

motivators for other students in class, no dramatically significant changes

were evident. Sandy remained her poetic self, privileging me with some of

her writing, but largely remaining aloof. One of the few concrete

indications I have of her relationship to me as teacher was an encounter

with her father at "Meet the Teacher Night." He told me Sandy insisted

that he introduce himself to me because she and I were good friends. Two

of the students became more vocal in all class activities. Quite

unexpectedly, Cassie and Aaron assumed new roles after we began

working together on "the project". They began reading their own

compositions during author's chair, and Aaron regularly offered to act as

the recorder at the chalkboard during large group discussions. It became

clear to me that their writing became an important way for them to

establish and maintain a relationship with me, as well as with others.

To be a tactful teacher requires an orientation toward children and

learning which places the interests of the child above all other

considerations. The notion of "pedagogical thoughtfulness" van Manen

writes about applies not only to teaching writing, but also to writing case

studies. Pedagogical thoughtfulness extends beyond any technique,

strategy or model to a way of being in relation to students. Although I have

written about similarities among the students, I have tried to maintain

their individual voices in this work. My relationship to each of them is very 192


And there is something else. After becoming p a rt of my research, all

of the participant students acted as more willing volunteers than they had

before, routinely offering opinions, responses and leadership in classroom

activities. I could count on all of these students to fill the gaps th a t

inevitably occur during class, however scrupulously prepared the lesson.

For Roger, Anne and especially Jackie, students who always acted as a

motivators for other students in class, no dramatically significant changes

were evident. Sandy remained her poetic self, privileging me with some of

her writing, but largely remaining aloof. One of the few concrete

indications I have of her relationship to me as teacher was an encounter

with her father a t "Meet the Teacher Night.” He told me Sandy insisted

tha t he introduce himself to me because she and I were good friends. Two

of the students became more vocal in all class activities. Quite

unexpectedly, Cassie and Aaron assumed new roles after we began

working together on "the project". They began reading the ir own

compositions during author's chair, and Aaron regularly offered to act as

the recorder at the chalkboard during large group discussions. It became

clear to me tha t their writing became an important way for them to

establish and m aintain a relationship with me, as well as with others.

To be a tactful teacher requires an orientation toward children and

learning which places the interests of the child above all other

considerations. The notion of "pedagogical thoughtfulness" van M anen

writes about applies not only to teaching writing, but also to writing case

studies. Pedagogical thoughtfulness extends beyond any technique,

strategy or model to a way of being in relation to students. Although I have

written about similarities among the students, I have tried to m aintain

their individual voices in this work. My relationship to each of them is very192


important to my interpretation of the findings. I said in the beginning that

I thought the relationship between the teacher and the learner was an

important factor in learning. The pedagogical relationship is crucial to

teaching and learning. It is:

an intentional relationship between an adult and a child, in which the adult's dedication and intentions are the child's mature adulthood. It is a relation orientated toward the personal development of the child - this means that the pedagogue needs to be able to see the present situation and experiences of the child and value them for what they contain; and the pedagogue needs to be able to anticipate the moment when the child can participate in the culture with fuller self-responsibility (van Manen, 1991, p. 75).

For the high school English teacher, the recognition that individual

students need opportunities to develop voice and style in writing, in their

own way, seems critical to using writing for a pedagogical purpose.

Knowing the students as individuals, with distinct preferences for different

forms of writing, is part of the process of teaching writing.

Only when a teacher's presence embodies the subject matter in a personal way, and when he or she is able to show that there is a living relationship between this subject and his or her own life, only then can the atmosphere of the classroom change from the authoritarian discipline of formal coercion to living vibrancy and spirited animation (van Manen, 1991, p.200).

What van Manen describes is the ideal learning environment. His vision of

the pedagogue is at once profoundly inspiring and profoundly humbling.

His view of teaching supports the idea that school should be a place where

real writing, with real value and meaning to students. The students in this

study provided me with glimmers of what could be possible. All of them

presented me with purposes for writing that extended the boundaries of the

193


im portant to my interpretation of the findings. I said in the beginning th a t

I thought the relationship between the teacher and the learner was an

im portant factor in learning. The pedagogical relationship is crucial to

teaching and learning. It is:

an intentional relationship between an adult and a child, in which the adult's dedication and intentions are the child's mature adulthood. It is a relation orientated toward the personal development of the child - this means th a t the pedagogue needs to be able to see the present situation and experiences of the child and value them for what they contain; and the pedagogue needs to be able to anticipate the moment when the child can participate in the culture with fuller self-responsibility (van Manen, 1991, p. 75).

For the high school English teacher, the recognition th a t individual

students need opportunities to develop voice and style in writing, in th e ir

o w n w ay, seems critical to using writing for a pedagogical purpose.

Knowing the students as individuals, with distinct preferences for different

forms of writing, is part of the process of teaching writing.

Only when a teacher's presence embodies the subject m atter in a personal way, and when he or she is able to show th a t there is a living relationship between th is subject and his or her own life, only then can the atmosphere of the classroom change from the authoritarian discipline of formal coercion to living vibrancy and spirited animation (van Manen, 1991, p.200).

W hat van Manen describes is the ideal learning environment. His vision of

the pedagogue is a t once profoundly inspiring and profoundly humbling.

His view of teaching supports the idea that school should be a place where

real writing, with real value and meaning to students. The students in th is

study provided me with glimmers of what could be possible. All of them

presented me with purposes for w riting that extended the boundaries of the

193


official school culture. The writing my students do is the path I have tried

to follow to find out who they are as students, who I am as the teacher, and

where we should travel next. To be a teacher, these are the things I need to

know.

I began with a simple question, what is it like to write in high school?

This question led me to ask how students know what "good writing" is.

Two key words, "good" and "writing," made these questions complex, and

efforts to answer the question led me down many diverse paths. I soon

learned that I could not address the question without describing the social

context of the classroom.

The stories students told me about reading and writing, and about

what matters most to their learning, assisted me to "learn" what I knew

about writing. What I have read and attempted to understand during the

years that I have been teaching, I now understand more deeply because of

what students shared with me. I make a distinction between knowing and

learning that is very ancient. "Socrates affirmed that only that which the

reader already knows can be sparked by a reading, and that knowledge

cannot be acquired through dead letters" (Manguel, 1996, p.86). I agree

with Aaron and Anne who said in their interviews that writing about what

you know is the most satisfying writing.

194


official school culture. The writing my students do is the path I have tried

to follow to find out who they are as students, who I am as the teacher, and

where we should travel next. To be a teacher, these are the things I need to

know.

I began w ith a simple question, what is it like to write in high school?

This question led me to ask how students know what "good writing" is.

Two key words, "good" and "writing," made these questions complex, and

efforts to answer the question led me down many diverse paths. I soon

learned th a t I could not address the question without describing the social

context of the classroom.

The stories students told me about reading and writing, and about

w hat m atters most to their learning, assisted me to "learn" w hat I knew

about writing. W hat I have read and attem pted to understand during the

years tha t I have been teaching, I now understand more deeply because of

w hat students shared with me. I make a distinction between knowing and

learning th a t is very ancient. "Socrates affirmed tha t only th a t which the

reader already knows can be sparked by a reading, and th a t knowledge

cannot be acquired through dead letters" (Manguel, 1996, p.86). I agree

w ith Aaron and Anne who said in their interviews that writing about w hat

you know is the most satisfying writing.

194


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OFFICE OF ASSOCIATE VICE-PRESIDENT AND DEAN FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES AND RESEARCH

DATE: May 28, 1996

TO: Valerie Mulholland Faculty of Education

FROM: G.W. Maslany, Chair Research Ethics Review Committee

Re: Adolescent Writing - Seven Case Studies

Please be advised that the committee has considered this proposal and has agreed that it is:

so°1. Acceptable as submitted.

(Note: Only those applications designated in this way have ethical approval

144 for the research on whic they are based to proem:011144a

4 4 -0.414V1041 Rood' 2. Acceptable subject to the following cpanges and precautions (see ed):

Note: These changes must be resubmitted to the Committee and deemed acceptable by it prior to the initiation of the research. Once the changes are regarded as acceptable a new approval form will be sent out indicating it is acceptable as submitted. Please address the concerns raised by the reviewer(s) by means of a supplementary memo.

3. Unacceptable to the Committee as submitted. Please contact the Chair for advise on whether or how the project proposal might be revised to become acceptable (ext. 4161/5186.)

/mm cc: D. Shrofel, supervisor

(Ethics2.doc)

Q,k) wazal REGINA. SASKATCHEWAN. CANADA S4S 0A2 PHONE: (306) 585-4161 FAX: 1306) 585-4893 INITFIMET VW-IR Aftit ‘1 AX.('(' ('REGINA ('A


iffli xsr

aU n i v e r s i t y o f R e g i n a

OFFICE OF ASSOCIATE VICE-PRESIDENT AND DEAN FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES AND RESEARCH

DATE: May 28, 1996

TO: Valerie MulhollandFaculty o f Education

FROM: G.W. M aslany, ChairResearch Ethics Review Committee


that it is:Please be advised that the committee has considered this proposal and has agreed

2 .

1. Acceptable as submitted.(Note: Only those applications designated in this way have ethical approval for the research on which they.are based to proceed.) / *

TRkJbf d U h u O c O M k ^ U *v/*AUcU+ boasrcAAvaSCAcceptable subject to the following {Ranges and precautions (see attadied): N ote: These changes must be resubmitted to the Committee and deemed acceptable by it prior to the initiation o f the research. Once the changes are regarded as acceptable a new approval form will be sent out indicating it is acceptable as submitted.Please address th e concerns raised by the re v ie w e rs ) by m eans o f a supplem entary memo.

3. Unacceptable to the Committee as submitted. Please contact the C hair for advise on whether o r how the project proposal might be revised to become acceptable (ext. 4161/5186.)

/mmcc: D. Shrofel, supervisor

(Ethics2.doc)

REGINA. SASKATCHEWAN. CANADA S4SO A 2 PHONE: (306) 585-4161 FAX: <3061 585-4843 INTFRNFT I'RC.RAD'*/ M AX.CC I'RFGINA CA



OFFICE OF ASSOCIATE VICE-PRESIDENT AND DEAN mum wor FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES AND RESEARCH

DATE: May 28, 1996

TO: Valerie Mulholland Faculty of Education

FROM: G.W. Maslany, Chair Research Ethics Review Committee



1. Acceptable as submitted. (Note: Only those applications designated in this way have ethical approval forth e research on whic they are based to proceej&tia

144 84 44-.0114 ZeitA.4.

2. Accep le subject to the following ages and precautions (see eattar 4--Note: These changes must be resubmitted to the Committee and deemed acceptable by it prior to the initiation of the research. Once the changes are regarded as acceptable a new approval form will be sent out indicating it is acceptable as submitted. Please address the concerns raised by the reviewer(s) by means of a supplementary memo.

3. Unacceptable to the Committee as submitted. Please contact the Chair for advise on whether or how the project proposal might be revised to become acceptable (ext. 4161/5186.)

/mm cc: D. Shrofel, supervisor

(Ethica.doc)

Q,k) vouzal REGINA. SASKATCHEW .AN. CA% NDA S4S OAZ 1'110\E: 130N 5854 FAX: t.30III 58 -4w? INTFR\FT• I 'RGR ‘D., \I \\ ("( ' I RI:GIV\ ('


U n i v e r s i t y o f R e g i n a

O y OFFICE OF ASSOCIATE VICE-PRESIDENT AND DEANJ y — FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES AND RESEARCH

DATE: May 28, 1996

TO: Valerie MulhollandFaculty of Education

FROM: G.W. Maslany, ChairResearch Ethics Review Committee



1. Acceptable as submitted.(Note: Only those applications designated in this way have ethical approval

/ . for the research on which they,are based to proceed.) , / *

t o u i e u t JZautot 2. Acceptable subject to the following (hanges and precautions (see attadned):

Note: These changes must be resubmitted to the Committee and deemed acceptable by it prior to the initiation of the research. Once the changes are regarded as acceptable a new approval form will be sent out indicating it is acceptable as submitted.Please address the concerns raised by the reviewers) by means of a supplementary memo.

3. Unacceptable to the Committee as submitted. Please contact the Chair for advise on whether or how the project proposal might be revised to become acceptable (ext. 4161/S 186.)

/mmcc: D. Shrofel, supervisor

(Ethio2.doc)

REGINA. SASK.ATCHEW AN. CAN AD A S4S 0 .\2 PHONE: t.'(lh) 5X5-11M F AX: (.KIM 5S5-4XHJ INTFRNFT I R C H \ n „ \ 1 \ \ ( ( | R H ; | \ A ( \


Valerie Mulholland 38 Wheaton Crescent Regina, Saskatchewan S4S 2Z2

Dear Parent or Guardian:

I am currently preparing to finish a Master's degree in curriculum and instruction. As part of my degree requirements, I have elected to write a thesis. My area of interest is writing, and my topic concerns how grade eleven students understand what it means to write well. I have chosen to conduct case studies on seven students, although my final paper may focus on fewer than seven. In order to complete this work, I intend to examine in detail the written course work of the students participating in the study, to interview the same students once and to maintain anecdotal records of their progress in writing over the course of the semester. To complete my thesis, I require the consent of the parent or guardian of each student.

Student participation is on a strictly voluntary and confidential basis. Students are free to withdraw and discontinue participating at any time. No academic penalty will be incurred for not taking part or for withdrawing, nor will any additional work be necessary on the part of participating students. Only written work normally done to earn credit in the class will be studied. There are no expected risks or discomforts involved in participating. In the final study, the students' identities will be protected by use of pseudonyms. Only my advisor and myself will have access to the data collected for this study. Also, the final study will be available to the participants and parents, as well as to the general public, to read.

If you have any questions, please call me at school (791-8335) or at home (586-1364). I will be very happy to discuss any project with you. Should you decide to grant permission, please return the attached letter with your signature.

Thank you for your time and interest

Yours truly,

Valerie Mulholland

I do /do not give my consent for to participate in the study of grade eleven students' writing. I understand that his/her participation in this study is voluntary and confidential.

Signature of parent or guardian


Valerie Mulholland 38 Wheaton Crescent Regina, Saskatchewan S 4 S 2Z2

Dear Parent or Guardian:

I am currently preparing to finish a Master’s degree in curriculum and instruction. As part of my degree requirements, I have elected to write a thesis. My area of interest is writing, and my topic concerns how grade eleven students understand what it m eans to write well. I have ch osen to conduct c a se studies on seven students, although my final paper may focus on fewer than seven . In order to complete this work, I intend to examine in detail the written course work of the students participating in the study, to interview the sam e students once and to maintain anecdotal records of their progress in writing over the course of the sem ester. To com plete my thesis, I require the consent of the parent or guardian of each student.

Student participation is on a strictly voluntary and confidential basis. Students are free to withdraw and discontinue participating at any time. No academ ic penalty will b e incurred for not taking part or for withdrawing, nor will any additional work be necessary on the part of participating students. Only written work normally done to earn credit in the c la ss will b e studied. There are no expected risks or discomforts involved in participating. In the final study, the students’ identities will be protected by use of pseudonym s. Only my advisor and myself will have a c c ess to the data collected for this study. Also, the final study will be available to the participants and parents, a s well a s to the general public, to read.

If you have any questions, p lease call me at school (791-8335) or at hom e (586-1364). I will be very happy to d iscuss any project with you. Should you decide to grant permission, p lease return the attached letter with your signature.

Thank you for your time and interest

Yours truly,

Valerie Mulholland

I do /do not give my consent for ______________________________ to participatein the study of grade eleven students’ writing. I understand that his/her participation in this study is voluntary and confidential.

Signature of parent or guardian


Valerie Mulholland 38 Wheaton Crescent Regina, Saskatchewan S4S 2Z2

Dear (Student's name):

I am currently preparing to finish a Master's degree in curriculum and instruction. As part of my degree requirements, I have elected to write a thesis. My area of interest is writing, and my topic concerns how grade eleven students understand what it means to write well. I have chosen to conduct case studies on seven students, and would like you to participate. In order to complete this work, I intend to examine in detail your written course work, to interview you once and to refer to my anecdotal records of your progress in writing over the course of the semester. To complete my thesis, I require your written consent.

Student participation is on a strictly voluntary and confidential basis. Students are free to withdraw and discontinue participating at any time. No academic penalty will be incurred for not taking part or for withdrawing, nor will any additional work be necessary on the part of participating students. Only written work normally done to earn credit in the class will be studied. There are no expected risks or discomforts involved in participating. In the final study, the students' identities will be protected by use of pseudonyms. Only my advisor and myself will have access to the data collected for this study. Also, the final study will be available to the participants and parents, as well as to the general public, to read.

If you have any questions, I will be very happy to discuss any project with you. Should you decide to grant permission, please return the attached letter with your signature.

Thank you for your time and interest.

Yours truly,

Valerie Mulholland

I do /do not give my consent for to participate in the study of grade eleven students' writing. I understand that my participation in this study is voluntary and confidential.

Signature of student


Valerie Mulholland 38 W heaton Crescent Regina, Saskatchewan S 4 S 2Z2

Dear (Student’s nam e):

I am currently preparing to finish a Master’s degree in curriculum and instruction. A s part of my degree requirements, I have elected to write a thesis. My area of interest is writing, and my topic concerns how grade eleven students understand what it m eans to write well. I have chosen to conduct ca se studies on seven students, and would like you to participate. In order to com plete this work, I intend to exam ine in detail your written course work, to interview you o n c e and to refer to my anecdotal records of your progress in writing over the cou rse of the sem ester . To com plete my thesis, I require your written consent.

Student participation is on a strictly voluntary and confidential basis. Students are free to withdraw and discontinue participating at any time. No academ ic penalty will b e incurred for not taking part or for withdrawing, nor will any additional work be n ecessary on th e part of participating students. Only written work normally done to earn credit in the c la s s will be studied. There are no expected risks or discomforts involved in participating. In th e final study, the students’ identities will be protected by u se of pseudonym s. Only my advisor and m yself will have a c c e s s to the data collected for this study. Also, the final study will be available to the participants and parents, a s well a s to the general public, to read.

If you have any questions, I will be very happy to d iscu ss any project with you. Should you decide to grant permission, p lease return the attached letter with your signature.

Thank you for your time and interest.

Yours truly,

Valerie Mulholland

I do /do not give my con sen t for ______________________________ to participatein the study of grade eleven students’ writing. I understand that my participation in this study is voluntary and confidential.

Signature of student


IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (QA-3)

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0 1993. Applied Image. Inc., All Rights Reserved


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