游詩

梁秉鈞詩選

客遠文，宋子江，蘇惠瓊，樊星 譯

amblings selected poems of Leung Ping-Kwan

translated by Kit Kelen, Song Zijiang, Debby Sou Vai Keng and Iris Fan Xing

ASM PoetryAssociation of Stories in Macao

《游詩︰梁秉鈞詩選》amblings: selected poems of Leung Ping-Kwan

Copyright Leung Ping-Kwan, Kit Kelen, Song Zijiang, Debby Sou Vai Keng and Iris Fan Xing © December 2010

作者︰梁秉鈞Author: Leung Ping-Kwan

Acknowledgement is made for poems previously published in Thunder Rambles and Cicada Chirps《雷聲與蟬鳴》(The Thumb Press 大拇指, 1979); The Journeys: Poems by Leung Ping-kwan, Paintings by Luo Xiaoping《游詩︰梁秉鈞、駱笑平詩畫展》(Institute for the Promotion of Chinese Culture 香港中華文化促進中心, 1985); Selected Works of Leung Ping-Kwan《梁秉鈞卷》( Joint Publishing 三聯, 1989); A Poetry of Moving Signs《游離的詩》(OUP 牛津, 1995); East West Matters《東西》(OUP 牛津, 2000); and Vegetable Politics《蔬菜的政治》(OUP 牛津, 2006).

翻譯︰客遠文，宋子江，蘇惠瓊，樊星Translatiors: Kit Kelen, Song Zijiang, Debby Sou Vai Keng and Iris Fan Xing

內頁設計︰宋子江Page Design: Song Zijiang

封面設計：jimivCover Design: jimiv

封面墨水及水彩畫︰客遠文Cover Artwork: Kit Kelen

資助:Supported by:

出版︰澳門故事協會Published by ASM (Association of Stories in Macao)澳門郵政信箱1507號General Post Office, PO Box 1507, Macaomacaustories@yahoo.com

版權所有 翻印必究All rights reserved. The author and artist and the translators retain all rights to their own works. The author and artist and the translators assert their moral rights. No part of this work may be reproduced in any form without the permission of the author and artist and the translators.

ISBN 978-99965-42-20-6

目錄 / Contents

游詩 / ambleverse 10-57

白日 the bright sun

1213

池 pond

1415

避雪 sheltering from snow

1617

殘缺 imperfection

1819

雪鎮候車 waiting for a bus in a snowy town

2021

濱小清水 Hama-Koshimizu

2223

摩周湖日落 sunset on Lake Mashū

2425

雪邦街雪晴 snow stops on Sherbourne Street

2627

雲游 cloud journey

3031

捕松鼠 catching a squirrel

3839

樂海崖的月亮 the moon of La Jolla

4243

從現代美術博物館出來 coming out of the Museum of Modern Art

4849

一個尋常的雨天 an ordinary rainy day

5455

游戲 / gambit 58-107

突發性演出 a happening

6061

寒山及其他 Hanshan etc.

6263

麵包店 the bakery

6869

中午在鰂魚涌 midday, Quarry Bay

7273

睡在沙灘上 sleeping on the beach

7677

寫一首詩的過程 the process of writing a poem

7879

游戲 games

8081

聽歌 listen to the song

8283

抽獎 lottery

9091

信 a letter

9697

送唐娜與唐納 for Donna and Donald

100101

還差幾哩路才到新年 how many miles to the new year

104105

游歷 / ambletales 108-139

西湖 West Lake

110111

三蘇祠答問 question at the Three Su temple

114115

廣場 the square

116117

蔡孑民先生墓前 at the grave of Mr. Choi Kit Man

118119

大地上的居所 dwelling on earth

122123

牆的故事 story of the wall

124125

奧斯維茲集中營舊址 at Auschwitz

126127

克拉科夫歷史博物館 in the Krakow History Museum

128129

在卡夫卡的故居 in Kafka’s old house

130131

木基督像 wooden statue of Jesus

132133

絲綢之路 the Silk Road

134135

出關 passing the frontier

136137

游於藝 / art-amble 140-173

景變集 changing scenes

142143

秋林 autumn forests

144145

青銅雙像 two bronze statues

146147

在梵谷大展場外懷念文生 thinking of Vincent at Van Gogh’s exhibition

148149

現在她們展覽蒼蠅了 now they exhibit flies

150151

與蔡仞姿討論裝置藝術及其他 talking with Choi Yan Chi about installation art and other topics

154155

在文化研究所看王履華山圖 reading Wang Lu’s “Hua Shan Painting” at the Cultural Research Centre

158159

我可是個明代的文人雅士？ can I imagine myself a scholar of the Ming Dynasty?

162163

韓熙載夜宴圖 the painting “Han Xizai’s Night Banquet”

166167

葉老的書法 Mr. Ye’s calligraphy

172173

游城 / ambletown 174-217

我們帶着許多東西旅行 we travel with lots of stuff

176177

見雪 seeing snow

184185

冬日往柏林以北松林湖畔 to a pine forest lake north of Berlin on a winter’s day

190191

柏林初雪 first snow in Berlin

196197

柏林的地址: Storkwinkel 12 a Berlin address: Storkwinkel 12

198199

變化的房子 a house keeps changing

202203

釀酒的山谷 wine valley

206207

家用器皿 household articles

208209

後現代房子 postmodern houses

210211

怪房子 a strange house

214215

翻譯土耳其菜 translating Turkish dishes

216217

游魂 / ghost drift 218-239

菊精 the chrysanthemum fairy

220221

葛巾 Ge Jin, the peony fairy

222223

鴿情 love with pigeons

224225

蟋蟀 the cricket

226227

畫皮 painted skin

228229

畫壁 the painted wall

230231

綠蜂 the green bee

232233

良夜 the auspicious night

234235

青蛙公主 the frog princess

236237

轉世 reincarnation

238239

游詩

ambleverse

12

游詩 ambleverse

白日

池中的白日

越來越明亮

浮雲

在枯草和浮萍下面

緩緩

移過

嶙峋的石塊

看着倒影

擁抱自己

越來越陰暗

一陣風

吹過

樹

折斷了

橋

起了波紋

所有的

顏色

閃爍

不定

只有白日

依舊明亮

甚至給流走的枯葉

帶着點點白光遠去

一九七八年二月

游詩

13

ambleverse

the bright sun

the bright sun at the poolgetting even brighter

clouds afloatunder withered grass and duckweed they slowly pass by

jagged rocks peering at the reflectionembrace selves more and more gloomywind sweeps through

tree snappedbridge ripplesall colours glimmer unstable

only the bright sunremains brighteven the withered leaves floating offcarry some brightness

February 1987

14

游詩 ambleverse

池

一千年那麼老

鏡容池

把所有的山

納入懷裏

對所有嶙峋地

蹲伏在林後

苔地上的

巨石

答予溫和的回聲

對所有晃動

在岸邊

搖着搖着頭

那麼多的否定的

所有的鵝

肯定地笑

對所有曖昧的

淺綠

棕黃

層層

如煙的矇矓

坦露清澈的面容

對池邊

呆坐

走過

不知為甚麼笑

或是不知為甚麼憂傷的人

慰以不息的水流

一九七八年二月

游詩

15

ambleverse

pond

a thousand years oldthe Jing Rong pondembracesall mountains

facing all jagged landcrouching behind woodsbig rocksin the moss echo with mild answers

to all the shakingon the shoreshaking headsso much negationall geesesmile positively

to all the undecidedlight greenbrown to yellowlayers and layersof mist like smokeshowing clear faces

to those beside the pond whosat stillpassed bya comfort for those who don’t know why there’s laughing or grieving with ceaseless waterflow

February 1987

16

游詩 ambleverse

避雪

灰白的

瓦簷

老人的髮

冷

魚躲在池底

金色

埋在重濁的水下

石庭

黑石間

點點白石

你髮間

霜雪

我們走到廊下

把半關的木門

推開一點

看屏風上的彩虹

一九七八年二月

游詩

17

ambleverse

sheltering from snow

greytile rooftop old man’s hair

cold fish hides at the pool’s bottom goldenburied in the murky water

stone pavilion among black rocks juttings of white rockin your hair frost snow

we come down the corridorgently push open the half closed doorto see the rainbow on the screen

February 1978

18

游詩 ambleverse

殘缺

巨大的佛像

圍上鐵絲網

網上片片

鴿子的羽毛

從寒冷的地方

走近了香爐

一個殘廢人

倚着寺院的廊柱

一列列石燈籠

沒有照亮

糊着的白紙

吹出裂縫

不吉祥的籤語

在樹上繫滿了

一個又一個白色的結

水流沒有說話

默默流過殘缺

一九七八年八月

游詩

19

ambleverse

imperfection

giant Buddha statuecircled in barbed wireon the fencepigeon’s feathersfrom somewhere colden route to the censera disabled man leans on a temple pillar

rows of stone lampswon’t light upwind cracks the white paper stuck outside

bad omens on joss sticks – one and another white knotted on the treethe stream doesn’t speakfloats silently by the imperfection

August 1978

20

游詩 ambleverse

雪鎮候車

雪蓋滿了

擱在牆角的自行車

風吹過

車上綠色的小風車

默默轉動

又停息

一個男子走過

拖著橙色膠盆

裏面是個紅臉膛的小孩

有人潑水

向店前的空地

白色中

溶出一方黑石路

行人經過

在那空白上

留下銹色靴印

雪地蓋滿了

店前的串串魚乾

人們聚在簷下

雪中露出半捲草蓆

裏面是

等待春天的小樹

簷緣尖銳的冰柱

向下彎插

箝住無聲的房子

有人走出風中

望向無邊的白雪

一九七八年二月

游詩

21

ambleverse

waiting for a bus in a snowy town

snow covers allthe bikes left in the wall’s cornerswind sweeps throughthe pinwheels on the bikessilently turn and stopa man walks pastdragging an orange plastic basinwith a flushed child inside

someone splashes wateron the ground at the front of the shopin the whitea brick of black road uncoveredsomeone passes byleaves a rust-coloured shoeprintbehind on the white

snow covers allthe dry fish in front of the shopspeople gather under the awninghalf unroll the mat in the snowinside – small trees waiting for spring

icicles hanging on the eavescurve downclamping the silent housesomeone walks out into the windpeers into boundless snow

February 1978

22

游詩 ambleverse

濱小清水

白色中的一個黑點

雪地上

烏鴉的叫聲

一株

兩株

蘆葦生長

微黃的線

攝影師轉過去

拍攝一林

枯皺的黃葉

瑟瑟

顫抖

走近了

空地上

幾戶人家

墨綠

靛藍

絨紅

屋脊半蓋在雪中

一頭白貓

環繞在人腳旁

擦着身體取暖

白色的耳朵

冷得發紅

一個女孩子

紅色的臉龐

拉開門

問我們要不要進去烤手

喝茶

揹着攝影機的人搖首

說要走過前面的山

拍攝一面結冰的湖

一九七八年二月

游詩

23

ambleverse

Hama-Koshimizu

a black spot in the whiteon the snowfield a raven’s cawonetworeeds growa light yellow line the photographer turns around shoots the wood of rough dry yellow leaves rustling tremblingwalks close to the several houses on the empty groundinkish green indigo bluevelvety red roof half-covered with snowa white cat gets around people’s feetrubbing to get warm white ears ruddy with the colda girl

cheeks flushed slings the door openand asks if we want to warm our hands by the fire have teathe man shakes his head, camera on his back says he wants to get over the next hill to shoot the lake iced over

February 1978

24

游詩 ambleverse

摩周落日湖

一窩鳥

哆哆嗦嗦

顫慄

在山頭

灰白色的山後

微紅

混淆了煙雲

隱現

消失

灰色的層雲移過

一頭黑色的烏鴉

鳴叫

吐出

金黃

雪地上風吹過

一陣雪粉

雪粉上的微紅

晶亮

漸漸淡了

一九七八年二月

游詩

25

ambleverse

sunset on Lake Mashū

a nest of birdies trembling quiveringon the hill’s head behind the grey is faint redmixed with mist looms and disappearsa layer of grey cloud floats pasta black raven crow spits golda blast on the snowfield of powdery snowthe faint red on it crystalline dims

February 1978

26

游詩 ambleverse

雪邦街雪晴

出了地下車站，沿着早晨的雪邦

街前行。左面是一道橫街，早兩晚路上

仍有積雪，深夜我見一個人從那路猛烈

咳嗽着走出來，身上穿着單薄的衣服，

顯然來自別處，不知來這裏尋找甚麼，

一臉絕望茫然的神色，不能適應這嚴寒

的天氣，他踉蹌走前去，揹着沉重的大

提包，像巨大的不知如何安頓的愛。

今天早晨地上已沒有雪。但仔

細看，在草地和行人路的夾縫仍可見到

安靜的白點。我沿着沉默的雪邦街前

行，路的右邊是舊式的建築物，有糉紅

和深棕的磚屋，窗框或是黑色，或是深

綠色，嵌着框着那些一度鮮明的顏色。

肖比旅舍、衣莎貝酒店、教堂和醫院。

麻雀雙雙依傍飛舞在屋宇間，找尋一個

安適的歸宿。不同的窗內住着不同的旅

客，他們從一個地方旅行到另一個地

方，尋找，希望改變他們自己，改變他

們的生活。房間中盡有悲歡離合，他們

也有沉默，也有哭泣，也有寂寞的對着

夜晚昏黃的燈感到不知如何是好？也有

人站在窗旁在夜晚聽見窗外剝裂的聲

音，而另一個人輕輕地說：「雪溶了。」

我沿着晨醒的雪邦街前行。看着

這些古舊的、優雅的、經歷時間風霜而

剝落的建築物。在路的另一面，是新建

的住宅大廈，高高一幢，裏面住着無數

人家。大廈之間有空地，廣場草地間有

鞦韆，供人們公餘休息和游戲。這是一

個適合安居的住宅區。一個年輕的女孩

子迎面走來，她穿着黑色大衣，戴一頂

帽子，美麗而瘦弱，她的眼睛有點紅，

好像哭過，但現在臉上一種安詳的神色鎮住了一切，她走入立羅超級市場，購

買家常的用品，重新開始一天的生活。

游詩

27

ambleverse

snow stops on Sherbourne Street

Out of the subway, I walk down Sherbourne Street. On the left is a side street. The other day there was still some snow on either side. In the depths of night, I saw a man walking out to the street and coughing. He was in thin clothes. He was obviously from elsewhere, wearing a face of blank despair, not knowing what he was after. He couldn’t get used to this severe cold. He stumbled forth, carrying a big bag on his back, like deep unsettling love. There is no snow on the ground this morning. But looking to it closely, I can still see some unobtrusive white spots between the grass and the footpath. I walk down silent Sherbourne Street, with old buildings on the right – red brown and deep brown brick houses with black or dark green window frames enclosing some colours that were sharp before. Shelby Inn, Isabelle Hotel, the church and the hospital. Sparrows fly in pairs among the houses, looking for a comfortable nesting. Different travellers behind each window. They sojourn from one place to another, searching and hoping to change their lives and themselves. Are there happy re-unions and sad partings, is there silence and weeping in the rooms? Are there lonely people not knowing what to do in the dim yellow lights at night? Someone beside the window hears cracking sounds outside, and the other one says lightly, ‘The snow is melting.’ I walk down Sherbourne Street, looking at these old and elegant buildings stripped by time and weather. On the other side of the street are new high-rise apartment buildings. Thousands of families are living inside. There are empty spaces among the buildings and swings on the square for fun. This is a residential area that lives up to its reputation. A young girl comes towards me. She’s wearing a black coat and a hat. She’s beautiful but frail. Her eyes are red and it looks like she’s been crying. But her placid countenance surpasses all. She goes into Loblaw’s for groceries and sets off into the life of a new day.

28

游詩 ambleverse

早幾天這兒有一場大風雪。猛烈

的咆哮，像懇求，像對罵，像要把這個

世界翻轉重整；像對現實不滿，要重新

狂塗一層光潔的顏色。那雪的翻騰裏有

長嘯和悲歌，有激昂的情緒，有傷害和

痛苦，有不知如何解決的狂亂，有激烈

的愛，狂熱的需求，努力要得到對方的

尊重的委屈。那是沒有吻而乾燥的唇、

隱隱作痛的喉嚨、在雪中久候而變得僵

冷的手。妒忌、眼淚、憂苦、傷口。像

一個瘋狂地打滾的人，要把自己撕裂，

以為可以重塑得更好。

我沿着雪晴了的雪邦街前行。一

切安靜下來了。我不無憂慮地看着這世

界：現在春天已經來了，那麼所有雪的

努力都是徒勞了？未必的，眼前的景物

彷彿回答我說。那光潔的白色沒有，也

不會完全消失，在窗口下面、在牆上，

這裏那裏的空隙裏你仍可見到它純潔高

仰的想望。那咆哮的聲音嘶啞了，化成

了早晨鳥兒的啁啾，用另一音調婉轉鳴

唱。呵，你路旁的老人和小孩，用安詳

掩去哭泣的女子，我們一起好好重新開

始這一天罷。讓我們好好地工作和生

活，直至再見再得到雪的安慰的日子。

一九八一年

游詩

29

ambleverse

The other day there was a storm. Its roar was like pleading, like shouting, as if to turn the world upside down and give it a new order; as if to express dissatisfaction with reality and paint on a layer of new sharp colour. In the writhing of snow were long whistles and sad songs, rapture and affliction, fiery love and zealous pursuits, entanglements that we don’t know how to get out of, wrongs arising from the want of other people’s respect. They are dry lips that never kissed, dully aching throats, and the hand stiffened from waiting so long in the cold. Jealousy, tears, sorrow, and wounds, these are like a man writhing as if crazy, as if wanting to tear himself apart, hoping to remake himself, to make something better. I walk down Sherbourne Street. Everything quiets down. It’s not without worry I’m looking at this world: now that spring has come, have snow’s efforts been in vain? Not necessarily, things before the eyes seem to answer. The clean white will not go completely. You can still see its pure sublime aspiration beneath the windows, on the walls, and in the cracks here and there. The roaring voice has gone hoarse – now it’s morning birds chirping in another key. Ah, old men and children at the side of your road, the girl who hides her tears with her placid countenance. Let us start the new day. Let us work and live well, until we come to those days when snow will give us comfort.

1981

30

游詩 ambleverse

雲游

即使白雲美麗你也不能住在裏面機翅吞沒了 屋宇 山脈 和海灣熟悉的城市遠了 進入白雲美麗你也不能住在裏面台北、東京、火奴魯魯看盡人間的黑暗與燦爛我們已飛到黑暗的隧道盡頭睡過又醒來 然後光亮了前面一脈嫣紅 微黃 粉藍黑暗撕開又縫合 藍色漸漸稀淡了背後的人情遠了

我拿着一卷喜愛的墨跡 卻是進入無人的空中行囊中的唐詩 化成陌生星球的碎片雲變成巖石 巖石再軟化成雲絮絮片片，東邊日出西邊雨，道是無晴卻有晴夜泊東京的高空沒有鐘聲 到客船驛站窗外一株株樹往後移旅途中人們睡了又醒望哪兒去呢喝茶，喝酒 微醉了船外微微有雨不，沒有雨

只是落着石頭

游詩

31

ambleverse

cloud journey

even though white clouds are beautiful you can’t live in them

planes’ wings swallow high-rises mountain ranges and bays

the familiar city is distant into the cloudsbeautiful, but you can’t live in there

Taipei, Tokyo, Honoluluhave seen all the darkness and glamour of this worldwe have flown to the end of a dark tunnelasleep and awake and then it’s lightin front, scarlet yellow pinky bluedarkness cracks and joins again the blue fades graduallypersonal relations fade into distance I’m carrying a roll of ink strokes but into nobody’s mid-airTang poems in the pack now fragments of a strange planetclouds become rocks rocks soften and are clouds againamong wisps and bits, a sun rises in the eastrain in the west, rays bore through dark clouds a day undecidedaloft in Tokyo’s sky at night

no bell sound reaches the boat

32

游詩 ambleverse

藍色已稀薄得看不見了 又沒入黑暗睡覺罷 忘掉一切不，你要回到地面 出閘

拿着世界的證件 等待你提一生沉重的行李來自不同國家的負累天亮了不，雞還沒有啼火奴魯魯的藍天在民航機翅下南邊有溫暖的陽光北方有雪你來了又去了但願在有雪的地方又怕雪傷害你

現在你穿着過多的衣服你流汗並不如想像的自由你好像越過空間又跨過了時間到頭來你還是局促在座位上你飛翔 又落下成為積雪你舉起杯 杯中冰塊不溶春天來時雪就溶了春天甚麼時候來呢杯子的溫涼裏有人間的晴雨各自東西流去窗外宇宙的花樹化為銅柱在你抵達的驛站上發出金屬冷冷的聲音你還在尋找在那還未成型的早晨的雲霞之間黃色顯現又漸漸隱去一團團的 微紅的光在前面在前面一個好晴天

游詩

33

ambleverse

out of the post-house’s windows, trees are moving backwardtravelling people fall asleep and then wake where can they go?

after some tea and wine tipsydrizzle outside the windowno, not drizzle pebbles fallingthe blue fades, already invisible into the darkget some sleep forget all this stuffno, you want to get back to the earth out of the gateholding a world passport waitingcarrying the luggage of lifeburdens of different countriesthe day breaks

no, roosters don’t crow yetHonolulu’s blue sky under the plane’s wingssun’s warmth in the south, snow in the northyou come and gowishing to be in snowy places, but worrying this might be painfulwearing too many clothes, sweating

not as free as imaginedyou go through space and timeend up in a cramped seatyou fly and fall to become snowyou hold the glass high the ice in there doesn’t melt

34

游詩 ambleverse

舊歲隨著一個喝盡的酒杯拋去哀愁嗎春天會帶來物色新鮮嗎可是我又記得尋常的日子我們在人世的關連素淡的雲海 要去作人間的雨嗎我在看我在等待雲上的光說晴天就在前面了但為甚麼我又只見到街頭永不消溶的積雪春天來雪就溶了而我是在一個沒有季節的空間航行前面只是無晴的空漠伸出手抵到玻璃是寒冷的人們搞動沉濁的睡眠從日到夜 從春天到冬天都掉失在 雲堆外夜半 沉沉的馬達聲

獨自響着

為甚麼把落花吹來呢我能把春天帶給冰雪嗎還是冰雪會令我凝結

臨着泉水

還有垂楊拂着酒杯呢

不，有人把酒杯收去了

沉默

你看着外面安靜的荒涼雲影變幻顏色瞬息消逝即使白雲美麗你也不能住在裏面的

一九八一年十二月

游詩

35

ambleverse

snow melts with the springwhen will it come?

the sun and rain from the earth in the cool of the glass wisp away east westout the window the universe’s flowery trees become bronze pillarsmaking cold metallic sounds in the post-house where you’ve just arrivedstill searchingamid the morning clouds and mists yet to formthe yellow emerges and fades awaysprays of faint red lightahead, aheada clear day

will the past throw out the sorrow with the wine’s dregs?will spring make things fresh?I rememberour quotidian links to the world

would the faint pure sea of clouds want to be rain for the human world?

I’m looking and waitingthe light in the cloud says a clear day’s just aheadwhy do I still see street snow as if unmelting? snow melts with spring’s arrivalbut I travel in a space out of seasonsonly cloudy emptiness aheadthe held-out hand touches the cold glasspeople stir down in muddy sleepfrom day to night from spring to winterall are lost

36

游詩 ambleverse

游詩

37

ambleverse

outside of clouds

at midnight motors make deep sounds alone

why are fallen petals blown here?can I bring spring to the snow?will I turn to ice?

before springwillows hang stroking wine cups

no, someone has taken them away

silentyou see things still, forlornshadows of clouds in constant changecolours disappear in a blink

even though white clouds are beautiful you can’t live in them

December, 1981

38

游詩 ambleverse

捕松鼠

白色沙地上瑟瑟的向日葵黃菊吐信的蛇昂起頭投下一個一個黑影一個一個洞穴

蓬亂的草團團拱起是墳墓還是隱秘的髮絲？仔細聽裏面有綷縩的聲音有生物顫抖是蛇是鼠是蜥蜴還是一陣偶然的熱風？

白色沙地上黃花展開了洞穴的嘴巴輕輕觸及索索草葉中柔和的花瓣顫慄了未開啟的唇未說出的話輕輕觸及仙人掌的細刺戳痛了伸過去的手

游詩

39

ambleverse

catching a squirrel

on white sandsrustlingsunflowerschrysanthemumsa snake held up its head tongue shooting outcasting one shadow and anotherone and another

shocks of grassarch upa graveor secrethair?ear upin theresome creatureswishingtremblingsnakeratlizardor just the odd warm breeze

on white sandsyellow flowersopenmouth of the burrowtouchessoft petalsamong wilting leavesand rufflesthe lips yet to openwords yet to be saidtouchcactus’ thin pointsthat prickhands stretched

40

游詩 ambleverse

一片會移動的沙蜥蜴灰色的身體竄過沒入草叢微張的洞穴裏面是甚麼？聽那嚶嚶的細語一窩鳥一頭兇猛的生物隱隱在喘息俯身向泥土裏面呼喚

等着聽它回答把指頭放在裂縫上探近了黑暗未知的呼息牽起了絲絲縷縷晦澀的言語

越來越炎熱沙漠裏太陽直射寂靜中只有草叢裏的聲音噝噝的不知在叫喚甚麼越來越炎熱汗水流下生命正沸騰等待那陌生的生命

一九七九年四月

游詩

41

ambleverse

moving sanda lizard’s grey bodyscurries bydisappears into the holeamong the grasswhat’s in there?listenthe soughinga nest of birdsa fierce creaturesecretly catches breathbend down to call to the soilwaiting for its answerlays fingers on the cracksprops closerdarknessthe unknown breathingarouseswisps ofsubtle verbiage

getting hotterin the desertsun beating downin silenceonlythe swishingin the grassdon’t know what it’s calling forgetting hottersweat streams downlife boils overwaiting for another life

April, 1979

42

游詩 ambleverse

樂海崖的月亮

一

我可以把香港的月亮翻譯成樂海崖的月亮嗎？我可以把唐詩的具體意象翻成異國的語言而不必細分時態和人稱不必用上解釋性的語法嗎？ 天氣冷起來了 樹都長出了紅葉 我們沿路散步 想起朋友在不同的地方 天氣逐漸陰暗 隱去了唐詩裏的自然意象

亮起來是更具體的異國名字TACO BELLJACK IN THE BOXSAFEWAY 我們走過 覺得冷菊的意象出現得多？還是蘭的意象出現得多？叫不出異國的花草我看出現得最多的還是黑暗的意象在空洞的街頭等一盞永不轉綠的交通燈

月出驚起汽車在黑夜裏斷續鳴叫這裏是甚麼地方？公路伸向漠漠的遠方

沒有帶一張地圖所以迷路了長椅上候車的女孩問時間

我沒有帶錶所以不知道到底是中秋還是重陽呢？沒有帶日曆所以不知道

游詩

43

ambleverse

the moon of La Jolla

1

can I translate the moon of Hong Konginto the moon of La Jolla?lacking the right tenses and pronouns the explanatory grammar can I translate Tang poetry’s concrete imagesinto foreign languages? it’s becoming cold red leaves on trees we stroll down the streets thinking of friends in different places the sky becoming gloomy dims nature images in Tang poetry

more concrete foreign names light upTACO BELLJACK IN THE BOXSAFEWAY we walk by feel coldimages of chrysanthemums and those of orchids –which appear more often?don’t know what to call those foreign flowers or grasseswhat I have been seeing mostare images of darknesson the hollow streetswaiting for a traffic light that never turns green

the moon startles the carsthat go on crying at nightwhere is this place?the highway stretches to the blurred distance

didn’t bring any map so got lostgirl on a bench waiting for a busasks the time

I didn’t wear a watch so I don’t know

44

游詩 ambleverse

具體的名字31 ICECREAMSOUP EXPRESSSUN’S KITCHEN我其實並不喜歡在一首詩裏用上太多外國食店和超級市場的名字

只是無從用唐詩的語言描繪一個陌生世界的細節

二

馬路更冷更空寂了我們還要在這些路上徘徊嗎？還要抬頭看見

月

沒有任何後設修辭語孤獨地在天空的位置上？漸漸走近了冰淇淋店獨角獸書店現在我比較知道我們在哪裏了過去住在這附近的你說不只一次在這舊書店裏翻閱詩集今夜店裏溫暖橙紅色牆邊排着金紫的書因為想起你我們吃一杯大的瑞士香橙高度具體的冰淇淋冷逐漸溶化 記得那時在香港 我們談法蘭克．奧哈拉的詩 直至凌晨一時 我們大笑 連椅子也坐破了有沒有人在月昇的時候想起我們？

游詩

45

ambleverse

mid-autumn or Chong Yang festival?I don’t know because I didn’t bring a calendar

concrete names31 ICECREAMSOUP EXPRESSSUN’S KITCHENin fact I don’t like to have so many foreign names of restaurants and supermarkets in my poem

but I can’t use the language of Tang poetryto describe the details of a strange world

2

roads are colder and lonelierdo we still have to prowl around here?still head up to see

the moon

positioned alone in the skywithout any rhetoric behind it?step by step come tothe icecream shopthe Unicorn Bookstorenow I begin to have a sense of where we areyou used to live around heretold us that you read poetry books in this old bookstore more than oncetonight golden purple books shelfed on warm orange wallsthinking of youwe have a big cup of Swiss orange highly concrete icecreamcoldgradually melts remember it was in Hong Kong we talked about Frank O’Hara’s poetry till one o’clock in the morning

46

游詩 ambleverse

將來有一天會再坐在一起談詩會沒相干地說起今天說那時，住在書店附近樹叢的那兒瀕海的房間

三

不知道海上的月亮在等待誰呢？只見到海波在靜靜地閃光走在路上的人想到屋裏的人家裏夜深坐着的人說到了遠行的人 我們的房間就在樹叢背後 可以請你上來坐坐嗎？ 現在這異地的房間 連一張具體的椅子也沒有 倒是有一個半具體的 通電有點問題的咖啡壺 可以弄一壺不太濃的茶 適合胃病的人喝的涼風從天邊吹起了你們現在在不同的地方如何了呢？抱膝坐在燈前伴着影子沉默坐在窗前聽着雪花在海邊是誰初見了月亮？海上的月亮哪年初次照見了人？我們的房間就在樹叢背後窗前的霓虹燈會逐漸沒入黑暗室內的暖氣會發生問題我們圍坐一起談詩我們一同迎着海邊初生的明月我們各自在不同的地方煮一壺茶讀一首唐詩異國的夜晚同在一起只有文字是我們的舊相識

一九七八年底

游詩

47

ambleverse

we laughed so hard that we broke the chairswill anyone think of us when the moon is rising?one day we will sit together again and talk about poetrytalk about today as if it doesn’t matter any moretalk about that time, living near the bookstoreby the woodsby the sea

3

for whom is the moon above the sea waiting?only see waves gleam quietlypeople walking on the street think of those in the housepeople sitting at home deep of night speak of those afar travelling our room was behind the woods can I invite you to come up and sit for a while? now this room in a foreign land doesn’t even have a concrete chair but has a half-concrete coffee pot that has some electric problem it can still be used to make weak tea that is good for those who have stomach problemscold wind blows from the sky’s edge how are all of you in each different place?knees up in arms, sitting close to the light in the company of shadowssilent, sitting close to the window and listening to snowflakeswho is the first to see the moon on the seashore?in which year will the moon over the sea shine on folk?our room is just behind the woodsthe neon light in front of the window will gradually dim into the darkthe heater inside will have some problemwe sit in a circle and talk about poetry togetherwe are facing the same new moon on our separate seashoresboiling water for tea and reading a Tang poema foreign night is with us toonew words are our old friends

at the end of 1978

48

游詩 ambleverse

從現代美術博物館出來

從現代美術博物館出來

可惜擴建的部份一片凌亂

我們看不到安放雕塑的庭園了

該往哪裏去呢？有點累

最好找一所小咖啡館坐下來

只有這些瑣碎的日常對話？

只是滿地亂放的破木板

和街頭擺賣的風景畫作

彷如勞生柏拼貼安徽涇縣的宣紙

貼了一層又一層：杭州剪紙、

穴孔圖、中國花布的碎屑

純粹為了滿足視覺一切都是平面

在紐約現代美術博物館

我說的東西都不是象徵

我只想老老實實告訴你

一直往前走還不如在前面轉彎

等你進入銀行提款我看着街頭

猶太人吃的圓環餅還有熱騰騰的栗子

你說好像良鄉栗子？一切中國事物

在勞生柏畫中只是拼貼

不必尋找意義的深度。等你進銀行提款

我在路旁好好看看這個世界的建築

趁建築還在。你好像說起

聖湯馬士教堂而我們這時已來到

另一座教堂，在斑馬線前

等待紅燈轉綠，在熙攘人羣背後

一根鐵管噗噗地冒出白煙

熱鬧城市中央突然湧現的異象

人們照樣提着美斯袋子走過

這是聖柏特歷克教堂嗎？我問

跟着你從橫門進去

突然四周變得那麼安靜

黑暗中閃着點點燭火

你點燃一根蠟燭，你在許願

你告訴我旁邊那兒的燭火

點給聖安東尼他專負責失落的東西

游詩

49

ambleverse

coming out of the Museum of Modern Art

coming out of the Museum of Modern Arta shame that with the renovation messwe can’t see the yard of sculptureswhere to go then? A bit tiredbetter find a small café and sit downare there only these bits and pieces to say?broken boards scattered aroundlandscape paintings on the streetas if layers and layers of Rauschenberg were collaged with Anhui Jingxian’s rice paper Hanzhou’s papercut, an acupuncture chart flowery Chinese cloth and ragsonly to gratify the eyes, everything’s on the surfacein the New York Museum of Modern Art let me tell you straight off, they’re not symbolsrather than walking straight aheadwe’d better make a turnwaiting for you to take money out I’m looking at kosher doughnuts and the steaming chestnutsyou say look like Liangxiang chestnutsall the Chinese things are just collage fragments in Rauschenbergno need to seek for deeper meaningwaiting for you to withdraw moneyI’m on the side of the roadlooking at the buildings of this worldwhile they are still thereyou seemed to be saying it should be St. Thomas’ Churchbut we’re already at the next onewaiting on the sidewalkfor the red light to turn greenbehind the crowdan iron pipe puffing out white smoke

50

游詩 ambleverse

我想取笑你失落的事物但我終於沉默了

你無聲許願完了抬起頭來問我：

你也要點一根蠟燭嗎？

走出去的時候我舉頭看一眼天空

天空並不澄明天空陰冷像紐約的街道

我早該知道了還是找個地方坐下來

歇一歇吧我說不如回去洗個澡

把旅行的髒衣服拿去洗哪裏也不要去了

你說不如趕五點前再去原始藝術博物館

我在紐約只看到零碎的現代藝術眼前的路標

並沒有信心我們可以找到平面以外的東西

於是又沿着第五街前行轉入五十七街

我把旅游書找出來才發覺記錯了

不是這裏該是五十四街才對

這都不是甚麼象徵只是眼前的世界

往回走時你說我找路沒有過去那麼精明了

轉入這街道才發覺原來要找的地方斜對着

剛才走出來的現代美術館

這兒的門牌對了，牆上留着牌子的釘痕

告訴我們這些尋找的人它曾在那裏

已經不在了，但還留下明顯的痕跡

在紐約，走過看見的東西一分鐘就不存在

但是我們有時又兜圈回到原來的地方

一頭灰鴿飛過地上一灘水漬又回來

我想起剛才，橫過馬路

看見熙攘的人羣背後突然湧起白色濃煙

我們幾個異鄉人在陌生的鬧市

走入一所燭光閃閃的靜穆的教堂

點一根蠟燭給一個負責失物的聖人

一九八二年一月

游詩

51

ambleverse

a sudden strange thing in the city centrepeople with Macy’s bags pass by regardlessis this St. Patrick’s Church? I askfollow you and go in from the side gateall fall to silencecandles sparkling in the darkyou light one as well, prayingyou tell me the candles just beside meare lit for St Anthony, the patron of lost thingsI want to tease you about your loss but I’m silent after allafter the soundless prayer you lift your head and ask medo you want to light one?

coming out I glance at the skyit’s not clear, it’s bleak, like New York streetsI knew it would bewe should have hung out somewhere and I suggest to go back to take a showerget the dirty clothes laundered and go nowhereyou say how about we go to the Museum of Primitive Art before fivebut all I’ve seen is modern art fragmented street signs not sure of anything other than what’s on the surfaceso we walk along Fifth Avenue and make a turn into Fifty-seventhI take out the travel guide and find outwe should be at Fifty-fourthit’s not a symbol, only the world before our eyeswalking back you say I’m not as shrewd a guide as I used to be

52

游詩 ambleverse

游詩

53

ambleverse

we turn into this street and find that our destination is just opposite the Museum of Modern Art where we’d come out just beforethe street number is right and some nail traces tell its seekers that it was therebut it’s no longer there nowjust the nail marks remain

in New York things that you walk by will disappear in a minutebut sometimes we will circle back to where we set offa grey pigeon flies over a puddle and back againI think of the white smoke puffing out behind the crowdwhen we were crossing the streetwe are several strangers in a strange busy citygo into a solemn church lit with candleslight one for the patron saint of lost things

February 1982

54

游詩 ambleverse

一個尋常的雨天

坐在圖書館窗前讀書

翻開的書頁上有人說詩

「是施諸日常言語上的

一種有組織的暴力行為」

雨就這樣落下來，我抬頭看見

它把現實染成濡濕，雨的緩急和疏密

叫我看見風在撫引，羣樹

柔順地呼應，溢出

日常的韻律

是在這四壁圖書館之間

曾有過猛烈的地震

所有的書都動搖了

有人尖叫起來

悸動的心突然注視抖索的世界

洶湧的熱情搖晃牆壁叫人回答它

當鉛筆掉落地上

清脆的紙張飄散

顫慄的人找尋依靠的懷抱

現在有些樹已落盡葉子了

當我思慮過多

胃部隱隱絞痛的時候

我繼續翻閱俄國形式主義者

對詩的看法，用一枝新削的鉛筆

在紙上寫字，或是走出圖書館

獨自去吃午飯，我把帽子翻起來

默默行走在濡濕的路上

林木間淤積的沙堆上有清淺的流水

折斷的枝椏和落葉貼在柏油路邊緣

點點棕色可疑的果子

浮浮沉沉的傷痕

展示雨的始末

在路上走得太久了

雙手和臉孔變得冰冷

走過去年的辦公室

現在不知誰在裏面

他們把大門敞開，也沒有掛畫

游詩

55

ambleverse

an ordinary rainy day

reading before a window in the libraryturn to a page where someone says poetry‘is organised violence committed on ordinary speech’rain falls as such and I look upand it soaks realitythe rain slow and fast, light and heavyshows me the stroking wind, the treessoft response, the spillingdaily rhythmthere was an earthquakeinside these library wallsall the books were shakenthe people screamedpounding hearts suddenly saw the world trembling the billowing passion shakes the wall for responsewhen the pencil falls on the groundbrittle paper scatterstrembling bodies seek embracesnow some trees are leaflesswhen I have thought too muchI feel a dull stomach acheI go on to read Russian Formalists’ideas about poetry, write on the paperwith a re-sharpened pencil or leave the libraryfor lunch aloneI turn up my capsilently walking on a sodden roadthere is a clear stream through the silted woodbroken branches and fallen leaves stick on the sides of the roadsuspicious fruits with brown stainsscars float and sinkshowing the rain’s beginning and endI’ve walked for too long

56

游詩 ambleverse

它又變回一個尋常的房間

灰色瀰漫，遠山都隱去了

偶然一聲自行車的鈴響

滑過發亮的地面

一件鮮黃的雨衣，點破

沉默，然後又是灰色的路

我沿着行人道旁的紅線

前行，那慣見的紅線

在雨中發出刺目的亮光

一九八零一月

游詩

57

ambleverse

hands and face are coldwalk by last year’s officedon’t know who’s inthe door is wide open, no painting hungit’s turned back into an ordinary roomthe grey prevails, far mountains vanishan occasional bike bell ringsglides through the shimmeringa bright yellow raincoat breaksthe silence, and then it’s a grey road againI walk straight ahead along the red linebeside the sidewalkthe red line seen so oftenglares in the rain

January 1980

游戲

gambit

60

游戲 gambit

突發性演出

零時廿分他走過公路臥在那裏

曠野裏一頭梟的鳴叫

又在中斷的地方重新開始

四頭牛扮演四頭牛

吃草的牠們在劇中

有一些作為

吃草的牠們的角色

總之

零時廿分他走過公路臥在那裏

等待

等待着……

許多個虛點

許久

許多個許久

可是演出計劃裏的某些部份

應該開始的還未開始

出現的還未出現

似乎有點甚麼出錯了

而這是很難堪的

獨自笨瓜的臥在那裏

而這就叫做突發性

而這就叫做演出

甚至沒有捲心菜

沒有麻包袋

沒有塗滿甜瓜的女子

而這是很難堪的

一切都跟他們說的不同

甚至沒有羽毛沒有木屑

沒有洋薊沒有號角

一定的

是有點甚麼弄錯了

他臥在那裏這樣想着

真的

甚至最後

落下來的

也不是他們說的那些意大利粉

而是雨

一九六八年四月

游戲

61

gambit

a happening

twelve twenty in the morning he walks across the road and lies down therean owl cries in the fieldsstarts again from where it pausedfour bulls play at being four bullsgrass-eatersknow something about the character of grass-eatersanywaytwelve twenty in the morning he walks across the road and lies down therewaitswaiting…lots of dots for a long timea long long timebut some parts of the planthat have to get started haven’t started yetthat have to show haven’t shown yetsomething must have gone wrongand this is embarrassinglying alone like a dumb melonand this is called a happeningand this is called a showeven no cabbagesno gunny bagsno woman who’s covered with melon paintand this is embarrassingeverything is different from what they saideven no feathers no sawdustno artichoke no hornsfor surethere must have been some mistakehe lies there and thinkingreallyeven in the endthe things that have fallennot the way they said as spaghettiit’s the rain

April 1968

62

游戲 gambit

寒山及其它

「再沒有寒山

再沒有拾得……」

再沒有甚麼呢

再也沒有

由於鐘聲的塵拂

所拂起的時間的塵埃

沒有人會寫道

「寒山有躶蟲……」

向無人的鳥道

散髮而笑

姑蘇城外

寺院的跫音呵

鳴響有如寂靜的

楓橋的音色呵

某個早晨

我看見你在樹下舂米

我看見你

破衣的僧人

曾經以你們的寒冷為詩

那個人今日忽然希望

把他的詩刻在

滅絕人跡的巖上了

汎滿城市

一個奇異的幻象

你的掃帚

出售在一條街道轉角

當我經過

白雲是屬於

麵包舖子

游戲

63

gambit

Hanshan etc.

‘no more Hanshan no more Shide …’no more what? no morefor the duster of the bell-chime dusted up the dust of timeno one will write down‘on Cold Mountain there’s a naked bug…’ facing the empty birdswayyou laugh, hair untiedoutside Gusu Cityoh footsteps in the templethe sound of silencesame tone as the maple bridgeone morningI saw you pounding rice under the treeI saw youthe monk in shabby robe

the one who used to write about your coldness in his poemsnow hoping to carve poemson the deserted cliffs

flood the citya strange illusionyour broomsold at a street cornerwhen I passed bythe white cloudsbelonged to the bakery

64

游戲 gambit

甚至球場對開處

一面塗污的牆

可是我當然不會說

他們題着的是你的笑聲了

昆蟲咬着咬着

跛腳詩人

與乎

幾萬載的青天

與乎

幾萬載的蟲子

一齊跳進轉動的腦葉

忘卻了

打掃食堂

而對於洗不盡的耳朵

你又如何呢

對於泉水

未說出口的話——

泉水從泉水中抽回自己

我想着泉水

然後我看見：

十靈丹和濟眾水的廣告

一個懷孕的婦人掙扎穿過擠迫的人羣

一個摔倒的孩子在路邊呻吟

對於泉水

甚麼是摔倒的孩子

（某個早晨

我看見你揹負竹筒而去

我看見你

破衣僧人）

游戲

65

gambit

and even opposite the playgroundon a daubed wallof course I wouldn’t saywhat they were doodling was your laughterworms biting and bitingthe lame poetalasblue lasts thousands of yearsalasworms last thousands of yearsall jumped into the spinning gear of the brainbut forgot toclean the canteen

and as for the endless ears waiting to be cleanedwhat can you do?for the spring waterunspoken words –water drew itself out of the spring

thinking about spring waterthen I saw: ads for Saplingtan Cure-All and Zaizongshui Tonic-Water Panacaeaa pregnant woman squeezing through the crowdthe child who stumbled groaning by the roadto the spring waterwhat is a stumbling child?

(one morningI saw you leaving with the bamboo bucket on your backI saw youthe monk in shabby robe)

66

游戲 gambit

再說一次：

我看見你

在沒有蜻蜓的路上

舉起來的手

面對黃昏雜沓的風景

我的朋友說

你以為你是那不繫之舟麼

一九六九年八月

游戲

67

gambit

say again I saw youon the road without dragonflieshands held upfacing the landscape mess at duskmy friend saidyou think you’re the boat let loose?

August 1969

68

游戲 gambit

麵包店

風翻動雜貨店的布篷捲起地面的影子向潮濕移過去一兩寸那以後是甚麼？柏油路上的寒光。一個人走過麵包店依稀感到新鮮的熱麵包店裏的燈光照在玻璃櫃上對於從寒光的柏油路走過來的連虛構的東西也是溫暖的了。那時曾與她走過關了門的理髮店腳踏車店和中藥店還有門縫中露出燈光的小舖即使是這麼破爛的路那也是了不起的那麼溫軟的笑那感覺就像有一個麵包夾子在胸膛裏攪動這樣一起走過不曉得該說點甚麼破爛的路也是美麗的只是太短了沒有更多的腳踏車店和中藥店門縫中露出燈光的小舖更不用說那唯一的理髮店他過後就盡是這樣數說埋怨自己不知有多笨一直走到麵包店，像一個傻子把書本遞給她，然後就分手了真使人想把頭碰在牆上你以為這是什麼一齣麵包突發劇？老兄每天吃一個麵包對你並沒有甚麼幫助他最後這樣下一個結論這時他走過了麵包店燈影幌盪向潮濕的地面移過去一兩寸。

一九七一年

游戲

69

gambit

the bakery

wind flipping the store awningroll up the shadow on the groundmoving about one or two inches into the dampwhat’s next?cold light on the tara man passes by the bakeryvaguely sensing the warm bread freshlights in the shop shine on the glass casefor those who just walked up from the chilly roadeven fictitious things could be warmthen with her he passed the closed barbershop the bicycle shop and the Chinese pharmacyand the light from the small shop leaked through the door crackeven a shabby road likethis one is greatthat soft and tender smilethat feelinglike there’s a pair of bun tongs messing in the chestwalking together like thisdon’t know what to saythe shabby road is beautifuljust there’s not enough of itno more bicycle shop or Chinese pharmacyand the light from the small shop leaked through the door cracknot to mention the only barbershopafterwards he just nagged his way backblamed himself – so endlessly stupidwent as far as the bakery, like a fool

70

游戲 gambit

游戲

71

gambit

handed the book to her, then said goodbyereally makes a man want to knock his head against the brick wallwhat do you think it is?a bread event?mana loaf a day won’t help you muchat last he drew a conclusion like thisnow he’d passed by the bakerylamps and light floatingmoving about one or two inches into the damp

1971

72

游戲 gambit

中午在鰂魚涌 有時工作使我疲倦

中午便到外面的路上走走

我看見生果檔上鮮紅色的櫻桃

嗅到煙草公司的煙草味

門前工人們穿着藍色上衣

一羣人圍在食檔旁

一個孩子用咸水草綁着一隻蟹

帶它上街

我看見人們在趕路

在殯儀館對面

花檔的人在剪花

在籃球場

有人躍起投一個球

一輛汽車響着喇叭駛過去

有時我走到碼頭看海

學習堅硬如一個鐵錨

有時那裏有船

有時那是風暴

海上只剩下白頭的浪

 人們在卸貨

推一輛重車沿着軌道走

把木箱和紙盒

緩緩推到目的地

有時我在拱門停下來

以為聽見有人喚我

有時抬頭看一幢灰黃的建築物

有時那是天空

 有時工作使我疲倦

有時那只是情緒

有時走過路上

細看一個磨剪刀的老人

有時只是雙腳擺動

像一把生銹的剪刀

游戲

73

gambit

midday, Quarry Bay

when work wears me down I walk in the streets see a stall with bright red cherries smell tobacco from the store blue-singleted workersthe food stall crowd a boy ties up a crab with grassand walks it like a dog I see people rushing and across the road from the funeral parlour the florist trimming flowers

on a basketball court the ball is dunked a passing car sounds its horn sometimes I walk to the pier to watch try to learn from the iron anchorssometimes there are shipsand sometimes stormsmostly just white waves and sea there are people unloading and pushing a heavy cart along tracks shifting wooden boxes and cartonsno hurry to get where they’re goingsometimes I stop by the arch and it’s like someone’s calling me look up at a dusty yellow edifice sometimes I see the sky

sometimes my work tires me out and at times it’s just my moodwalk along a roadwatch an old man sharpening a knife sometimes just the feet movelike a pair of rusty scissors

74

游戲 gambit

下雨的日子淋一段路

有時希望遇見一把傘

有時只是

繼續淋下去

煙突冒煙

嬰兒啼哭

路邊的紙屑隨雨水沖下溝渠

 總有修了太久的路

荒置的地盤

有時生銹的鐵枝間有昆蟲爬行

有時水潭裏有雲

走過雜貨店買一隻畫圖筆

顏料鋪裏有一千罐不同的顏色

永遠密封或者等待打開

 有時我走到山邊看石

學習像石一般堅硬

生活是連綿的敲鑿

太多阻擋，太多粉碎

而我總是一塊不稱職的石

有時我想軟化

有時奢想飛翔

 一九七四年六月

游戲

75

gambit

rainy days I get wet hoping I’ll come across an umbrella sometimes just walking on smoke from the chimney a baby cries scraps of paper wash into a ditch

road works never seem to end construction sites are let go sometimes you’ll get those insects crawling between iron barssometimes a cloud over a puddle I buy a brush at the storein paint shops there are a thousand tins of colours sealed forever or waiting to be opened

sometimes I go to the hill to watch rocks try to be as strong as them life is a series of hammerings too many blocks, too many smash-upsI’m the odd stone out sometimes wishing I could just melt sometimes wishing to fly

June 1974

76

游戲 gambit

睡在沙灘上

伸手可以迎接幸福的明天

當浪變成

一顆大鯊魚牙齒

拿去送給那位缺了門牙的朋友

一百片碎玻璃送給赤足散步的人

風燈落在口哨上

我是鄉村中唯一的白癡

為甚麼？

我是為

你是甚麼

純粹的游戲的

船或者屋子

買一頭牡鹿給獨居的牝鹿

一個島嶼給漂流的人

或者三三兩兩的烏鴉

那時你在這裏

你就可親眼看見牠們掉進網裏

轉一個身，你說

我們今天這所房子

窮得連天花板也沒有

所以就不免有點太高了

只是一種沙灘

各式月亮

至於針床可笑不可笑

那要看你從那個角度感覺了

還有甚麼埋怨嗎

如果說聽不見夜鶯

那麼我只好說

各種郵遞的錯誤

唯地址正確才可避免

有人說在月夜裏

看見一個女孩乘腳踏車在波浪上經過

生起火來

被閃爍的火光感動

我們到底也不免相信了

反正夜裏飛翔的天使教人不能睡眠

合掌唯有蚊子的讚歎

一九七三年

游戲

77

gambit

sleeping on the beach

stretch your hands to welcome tomorrow’s happinesswhen the waves become like the teeth of a giant sharktake it to your friend who has lost his front teethtake one hundred pieces of broken glass to the one who walks with bare feetlanterns fall on the whistleI’m the only fool in the villagewhy? I’m W you’re HYpurely playfullythe boat or the housebuy a deer for the roe who lives on its ownan island for the drifteror two or three crowsyou were here at that timeyou saw them falling into the web yourselfone turn you saidthe house we own today was too humbleto have a ceilingit’s too high above our heads only one type of beach all kinds of moonand whether the nail bed is laughable or notdepends on which angle you feelstill want to complain?if you said you couldn’t hear the nightingalethen all I can say is all the problems of mail mis-deliverycould be avoided if addressees were correctsome say on the night when the moon was outhe saw a girl passing by, riding a bike on the waves

after we make a fireand feel touched by the flameswe can’t help but believeanyway flying angels at night keep us awakewe fold our hands, hold only the praise of mosquitoes

1973

78

游戲 gambit

寫一首詩的過程

有那麼一個女孩子

打算喝掉面前這杯咖啡

然後寫一首詩

哼，也沒有甚麼了不得

還不是照樣喝下去

對窗終夜的牌聲響亮

街尾麵攤旁的舞女和夜歸男子

嘩笑然後吵罵

今夜還沒有人在那裏打架

她給咖啡再加顆糖

加一點牛乳為了襯上杯子的顏色

並且想：那要來還未來的詩呢

撫着淺棕色的暖暖的杯

寫不成又自管自笑了

偶然一輛警車駛過

醉漢去拍木料店的門

她專心注視

要寫這生活的戲劇

然而甚麼也沒有發生

那人不疲倦麼？想着

便伏在臂彎上，在紙上

畫一頭胖胖的貓

不行，再喝一口咖啡

透過淺棕色的杯子

看寂寞起來的街道

想最好有一點微雨

滋潤這街道，並且閃光

如一朵朵在黑暗中綻開的花

她想着，再伏下去

並且睡着了

這時街上來了一輛洗街的車子

終於把街道變成潮濕

一九七三年

游戲

79

gambit

the process of writing a poem

there was a girl who planned to drink the cup of coffee in front of her, then she would write a poemblack coffee bitter as nighthmph, it’s no big dealshe just drank it up like thatloud sound of a card game came out of the opposite window all night longthe dancing girl and the man who came back late sat by the noodle stalllaughed and cursedfighting hadn’t yet got going there that nightshe dropped one more lump of sugar in the coffeeadded some milk to match the colour of the glass mugand thought: where’s the poem that told it was coming?touching the warm glass, a light brownshe couldn’t write but laughed to herselfa police car drove by occasionallythe drunkard knocked on the timber shop’s doorshe fixed her eyes on this living dramashe was trying to write aboutbut nothing happeneddoes one feel tired? thinking about thisshe hunched on her elbows, drew a fat caton the piece of paperno, one more sip of the coffeelooked through the brown glasssaw the street became lonelythought it’s better it drizzles a bitto moisten the street, to make it shinylike flowers that blossom in darknessshe thought, hunched overshe fell asleep

then the sprinkler cameand finally soaked the street

1973

80

游戲 gambit

游戲

在這一年將盡的時光我們來玩游戲把糖果瓶子傳過去每人從瓶中取一顆糖看到了最後是誰得到一個美麗的空瓶子以及一年的幸福

在這一年將盡的時光我們玩砌圖的游戲每一塊積木每一塊碎片我們翻遍積木的多面尋找一幅完整的圖畫

在這一年將盡的時光我們把廢紙捲成許多紙筒用一根繩子串起來塗上七彩的顏色加上紅色的嘴和流蘇的尾巴做一尾快樂的蛇拖着它上街去

在這一年將盡的時光我們收集七彩的氣球把每一種憂愁的名字寫在上面然後拿到熱鬧的年宵市場把它們放走

這麼多的顏色糖果和積木和氣球和紙蛇這麼多的碎片串起舊的一年和新的一年我們還在這裏把瓶子傳過去每人把手探進瓶裏誰也不曉得最後得到的是甚麼

一九七五年

游戲

81

gambit

games

in the rest of the days of this yearlet’s play gamespass the candy jareach one takes a sweetsee at lastwho gets a beautiful empty jarand a year of happiness

in the days remaining in this yearlet’s do puzzleseach blockeach piecelet’s search the many sides of the blocksto make a complete picture

in the remaining days of this yearlet’s roll the wastepaper up into tubesand string them uppaint on seven different coloursadd a red mouthand a tassel tailmake a happy snakedrag it along the street

in the days still to go this yearlet’s collect the colourful balloonsand write down every melancholyon themthen take them to the fairlet them float away

so many colourssweets, blocks, balloons and paper snakesso many pieces of paperlink the old year and the newwe’re still herepass the jareveryone stretch a hand into the jarnobody knowswhat’s left at the end

1975

82

游戲 gambit

聽歌

她放下唱臂

就站在那裏

倚着門邊

而他坐在這兒

越過談笑的人們

仍聽不見聲音

從黑色的盤中轉出來

他看她一眼

又轉過去

拿起几上的茶

她垂下眼瞼

聽見歌聲開始流轉

如夜的溽熱到了盡頭

破曉時吹起的微風

「我要去找一艘船

我們可以搖動它

倘若你感到

我是多麼的需要你」

這歌聲有時溫暖

有時疲倦

有時是無奈地舒一口氣

客廳的人們談着

夏天的雨和櫻桃

和一部波蘭電影

其他聲音

只是背景中矇矓的字眼

只有當他回頭

看見她站在門邊

微笑，仰着頭

他才也聽見那歌

歌中說溝渠的水流飄着油污

被一把傘拌成彩虹

他看見她眼中的光彩

後來，她的眼睛垂下

唱片已轉到盡頭

回過頭去

游戲

83

gambit

listen to the song

she put down the stylusstood there like thatleaned on the doorframeand he sat thereacross the chatting crowdstill couldn’t hear the soundspinning out of the black dische looked at herthen turned awaytook the cup of tea on the tableshe lowered her eyesheard the singing begin to floatlike the steaming heat of the night taken to the limitat daybreak there was a breeze‘I’m going to get a boat we can row it if you’ve ever the notionto be needed by me’sometimes the singing was warmsometimes tiredsometimes helplessly sighing people chat in the living roomabout the summer rain and cherriesand a Polish filmother soundswere just the obscure words in the backgroundonly when he turned backsaw her standing by the doorsmiling, head held upthen he could hear the songin the song, oily water floating in the ditch,stirred by an umbrella, became a rainbowhe saw the light in her eyesthen, she lowered her eyesthe record spun to the endturned back

84

游戲 gambit

回答另一個人的說話

在身旁

人們都說餓了

他們說要到外面吃飯

要離去

他正在說：

「再等一會……」

這時她換上另一張唱片

聲音好像飄散

流到遙遠的地方

她坐在那裏

想一些事情

唱片的聲音轉慢

如打呵欠的臂

劃一個弧垂下，突然

那聲音停止了

在那一片靜默中，她抬起頭

好像要問：

「為甚麼

唱機突然壞了？」

她走往電掣旁邊

用手按揷頭

牽起糾纏的電線

如滿心的煩憂

他回過頭來

才曉得那沉默

見她按着電掣

唱機再發出沙啞的一聲

一句矇矓了的美麗的句子

像一句咽住的話

她俯下頭，好像要

伏在唱片的黑色上

卻並沒有聽見甚麼

她的手在摸索中

游戲

85

gambit

spoke to another personbeside herpeople said they were hungrythey said they would go out to eatwould leavehe was saying:‘just a moment please…’she started playing another recordsound drifted far far away

she sat therethinking about somethingthe record spun slowerlike languorous limbs drew a circle then fell downthe sound stoppedin the vast silence, she held up her headit was like asking‘whydid the player break down?’she walked to the wall socketpressed in the plugpulled out the tangled wireslike a heart full of worries

he turned backthen understood the silencesaw her pressing the pluga hoarse sound burst out from the player one blurred line, a beautiful linelike a sentence swallowedshe bent down, as was her wishcrouched on the black vinyl surface but heard nothingher hands searchingtouched the broken wire

86

游戲 gambit

碰到損壞的電線

漏出的電像針刺

使她的指頭麻痛

到了最後

她仰起頭，對這時才走過去的他

只是說：

「唱機壞了。」

然後她檢驗唱針

舉起唱臂

並且依循縱橫的電線

摸索盡頭的電掣

但這並不能

使事情回轉

使一個夏日發出聲音

用膠布貼着電線

也無法黏回一些調子

她走回去

沉沒在那端的沙發

也低頭細看照片

並且說那年的事

而他在這裏

拆開唱機細碎的零件

找尋一支歌

時間已經晚了

人們開始散去

吃飯，看戲

或是探訪他們的表兄眞是太晚了

他們說，而她

點點頭

無言地走出大門

他甚至沒有說：

「再等一會……」

游戲

87

gambit

electricity, like a needlepainfully paralysed her fingers at lastshe looked up, said to him – he’d just walked by – only said:‘the player is broken’

then she examined the needletook up the stylusand following the crossed wiressearched for the power at the end of thembut this couldn’t hold things backcouldn’t make a summer day sing again

to use a bandage wrapping the wirecouldn’t stick back the tunesshe walked backsank into the sofa at the other end lowered her head and carefully looked at the picturesand spoke of the old timesand he was heretook some parts of the player apart searching for a song

it was latepeople started leavingfor dinner, to go to the cinemaor visit their cousinsit was really latethey said, and shenoddedmade for the door without a wordhe didn’t even say:‘just a moment please…’he lowered his headholding the screwdriver

88

游戲 gambit

他低下頭

手中拿着螺絲起子

甚麼也沒留意

彷彿只是要

把錯誤的校正

使沉默下去的

再放聲歌唱起來

他把零件砌回原位

併回外殼

他按下掣，坐在那裏等待

門在他背後

砰一聲關上

這時唱片才開始旋轉

歌聲再一次傳出來

一九七五年

游戲

89

gambit

didn’t notice anythingas if he just wanted to correctthe mistaketo make the muffled playerstart singing out loud againhe put the parts back togetherput together the casepushed the button, sat there waitingthe door behind himbanged closedthe record started spinning thenand the singing was heard again

1975

90

游戲 gambit

抽獎

他得到一套北歐傢俬

他得到一個耳塞

他得到一頭假髮

他得到一枚浮瓜

他得到一襲睡袍

和一個跌打醫生

他得到兩個富有的姑母

和一頭鸚鵡

他得到一副電腦

以及紅橙黃綠青藍寶

他得到公積金

佣金，禮金和帛金

他得到戲院的贈券

酒會的請卡

特別折扣的二手牙刷

他得到自動清理的文件櫃

永不停嘴的鬧鐘

他得到兩打英國人

組成的調查委員會

他得到哲學會主席的椅子

他得到鄉土藝術的專利權

他得到一隻不斷上升的股票

一所不斷下沉的大廈

只有我

仍然兩手空空

每次仰望

就彷彿聽見

有人在遠處發笑

迂迴穿過

陰雲和陣雨

撒下的骰子

是最少的點數

買了報紙

卻錯過渡輪

坐在碼頭

游戲

91

gambit

lottery

he won Scandinavian furniturehe won an earplughe won a wighe won a cold melon in summerhe won a sleeping gownand a bone-setterhe won two rich auntsand a parrothe won a desktopand red orange yellow green indigo blue on the gohe won the provident fundcommission, red packet and funeral fundhe won the cinema ticketsinvitation to the banquetand special discounted second-hand toothbrushhe won the auto-clean filling cabinetand an endlessly talking alarm clockhe won an investigative committee comprised of two dozen Englishmenhe won the chair of the Philosophy Societyhe won exclusive rights to indigenous arthe won rising stocka sinking skyscraper

so it was just mewith my empty handsevery time I look upI’ll hearsomeone faraway burst out laughinggo round and walk throughdark cloud and showerdice rolledthe smallest numberbuy a newspaperand miss the ferrysit on the pier

92

游戲 gambit

用香煙罐子釣魚

在錯誤的火車站

等候下一班車

在高速公路上

做一匹馬

她得到一個罐頭丈夫

和一羣電動的親戚

她得到一套全新的指甲

眉毛和鼻子

她得到一切聯會

副主席的名銜

她得到四尾會唱歌的鱷魚

準時送花的河馬

守候在街角的犀牛

可資談論的大毛龜

她得到一個髮罩

她得到兩顆血淋淋的心

她得到鄰居阿秀上周買的

那種吸塵機

她得到那種灰塵

她得到十二種官方承認的

大學入學試的資格

她得到所有不同牌子醬油

送出的小碟

只有我

仍然兩手空空

坐在淤塞的河邊

唱一支藍色的歌

天氣這麼冷

卻忘了大衣

空的籐椅上

已經坐着個人

圍上圍巾

戴上鮮花

游戲

93

gambit

fish with the tobacco tinwait for the next trainat the wrong stationbe a horseon the freeway

she won a tinned husbandand a bunch of electric relativesshe won a set of new fingernailseyebrows and noseshe won the title Associate Chairperson of all Unionsshe won four singing crocodilesa hippo always sends timely flowers a rhinoceros waits at the street cornera big hairy turtle to be gossiped aboutshe won a hair netshe won two bloody heartsshe won the vacuum cleanerher neighbour Ar Xiu bought last weekshe won that kind of dustshe won twelve entrance examsofficially recognized by the governmentshe won the small dishes attached todifferent brands of soy sauce

it was just me still empty handedsitting beside the silting riversinging a blue songit’s cold like thisbut I forgot to put on my coaton the empty cane chairsomebody had already satwearing the scarfwearing the flowerand tossing coins

94

游戲 gambit

並且投擲銀幣

幸運是頭像

開出的是字

我們的麵包

被人偷去

空的瓦甕旁

向日葵借出還未歸還

人們捧着抽到的東西

趕着跑去把獎品收藏

我仍在這裏

慢慢地走

再會了先生

再會了

女士

我在後面叫

再會了

南瓜和玉蜀黍

捧着這麼多東西走路

小心不要 倒

但他們以為我要趕上去

卻都跑得更快了

一九七六年一月

跑率

游戲

95

gambit

heads to winturns out to be tailsthe breadis stolen by othersbeside the empty ceramic jarsunflowers lent out haven’t returned

people hold the things they’ve drawn rushing to hide the prizesbut I’m still herewalking slowlygoodbye gentlemengoodbyeladiesI yell behindgoodbyepumpkins and cornwalking with this many things to carrybe careful not to tripbut they think I’m going to catch upand so run faster

January 1976

96

游戲 gambit

信

桌上散滿畫版的紙張

淺淺的藍色方格

等待着照片和圖畫

和來自遠方的訊息

電訊機不停說話

然後是打字機的聲音

電話鈴的聲音

有時有人喚出我的名字

我把圖片砌好

貼到版樣上

我用鎅刀鎅去照片無用的黑邊

在這些廢紙屑間

躺着你的來信

你說你終於找到一個地方

那裏的郵差替小孩捉鴿子

那裏的老人

終日釣魚

草地的旁邊有運河

還有腳踏車的游戲

你在信中這樣說

而我工作過時

疲倦地追趕

還有十分鐘的截稿時間

喝一口已經冷卻的咖啡

又暫時忘卻了你們

畫版的紙張

佈滿我的桌子

那些太淺的藍格

要仔細一點才可以看見

現在紙張在刀下割成碎片

現在我的手謹愼一點

沒有那麼容易受傷

挑選顏色

沒有那麼猶豫

我畫更準確的線條

游戲

97

gambit

a letter

papers scattered on the drawing board light blue squareswaiting for picturesand the message sent from afarthe telex machine won’t shut upthen it’s the sound of the typewriterthe telephone ringssometimes someone calls my nameI put the picture togetherpaste it on the sample layoutI use the paper cutterto cut out the useless black frames of the photosamong these pieces of wastepaperyour letter liesyou said you finally found a placethere the postman would catch pigeons for the childrenthere the old menfishing all day longa canal beside the grasslandand there are bicycle gamesyou said so in the letterand I’m overworkedtired, catching up in the last ten minutes before the deadlinesipping the cold coffeejust for a moment forgetting about youpapers on the boardall over my deskthose blue squares are too lightmust look carefullynow the blade has the paper in pieces now my fingers are more carefulnot so easily cutwon’t wait too longpicking the colourI can draw the lines more correctly

98

游戲 gambit

不要問為甚麼

回信拖得那麼遲

你的來信就擱在桌上

在稿紙和剪刀間

幾吋也是太遙遠

我抹去鎅刀上的臘漬

和手上的漿糊

把戒尺移正一點

靠着玻璃桌面下的白燈

端詳一張彩色的底片

旁邊總有花邊新聞的談笑

股市上落的消息

風暴的來臨

財務公司的倒閉

大門開關的咿呀

有時有人喚出我的名字

我還在這裏

低頭工作

偶然想想你的來信

偶然站起來

給自己再倒一杯咖啡

一九七四年九月

游戲

99

gambit

don’t ask whyit takes this long to get my replyyour letter is right on my deskbetween the manuscript paper and the pair of scissorsa few inches is still too far away

I wipe the wax stain off the paper cutterwipe the paste from my handsadjust the rulerrelying on the white lamp under the glassto examine a frame of colour filmbeside it there’s always gossip about the titbitsthe surge and fall of the stock marketthe coming tornadothe bankruptcy of a finance companythe creaking of doors opening and closingsometimes someone calls my nameI’m still herehead down in my workoccasionally thinking about your letteroccasionally standing uppouring myself another cup of coffee

September 1974

100

游戲 gambit

送唐娜與唐納

當我們談笑的時候

你背過身，蹲在書架旁

找尋衣魚灰燼的身邊

抹去牠

像抹去頁邊一個字

而我就說：

當你離去

這麼多的書

這麼多的畫冊

搬不走

該怎麼辦？

我知道

一翻動那些書頁

塵埃瀰漫

你又要咳嗽了。

越過百葉簾的隙縫

是民新街灰棕的屋宇

一輛墨綠色的貨車

紅色的字

你蹲在書架旁

說拆字成火

我又看見你把絲印的綠色

像衣裳那樣晾在廳裏

然後摺叠

放在一包黏土

和泥人玩偶之間

這屋中

怎麼總有這麼多紙屑？

節日裏我們一起製造的花燈

不知擱到哪兒

它們或許已經破爛

你沒法把它點燃

照亮你將走的路

所以當你在門邊

凝神細讀剪報

說那些字體有時清晰

游戲

101

gambit

for Donna and Donald

when we’re talking and laughingyou turn away, squat beside the bookshelfsearch for the ashes of the silverfishsweep the ash awaylike wiping out a word on the edge of a pageand I say:when you’re goneall these booksall these art albumstoo many to movewhat to do?I knowwhen the pages are turnedall will be dustyyou’ll cough againthrough the cracks between the blind leavesthe grey brown houses of Min Xin Streeta dark green van passes byred charactersyou squat beside the book shelfwish to break up characters to find the fireI see you hanging the green silk-screen againlike hanging clothes in the living roomthen you fold themput them betweena bag of clay and clay dollsin this househow is it there’s so much paper?the lantern we made for the festivalwhere did you put it?maybe it’s torn and brokenyou can’t put a candle in to light up the road aheadso when you stand by the doorcarefully reading and cutting the old paperssay sometimes the fonts are clear

102

游戲 gambit

有時模糊

我想叫你不如把廢紙放下

你知道

一翻動那些書頁

塵埃瀰漫

你又要咳嗽了。

昨天深夜我們走過看見你們的燈光

知道你們仍在工作

夜深時

當電單車的嘩叫靜去

我們在不同的窗前

試聽同樣的蟬鳴

今日一個早晨的風雨

現在又是天晴

我把破了的傘

當做揑皺的廢頁

棄在門邊

你問起天氣

我也不能預料

你要在路上

才可以感覺它

只是當你離去

這麼多的書

這麼多的畫冊

搬不走

怎麼辦？

壁虎疲乏地爬過

百葉簾下舊書的峽谷

你如果彷徨，不如聆聽

窗外一個老人正在叫喚

他只帶一塊磨石

就磨盡一條街道參差的刀剪

一九七五年十一月

游戲

103

gambit

sometimes blurryI want to ask you to put that paper down you knowonce the pages are turned all will be dustyyou will cough againlater last night we walked past and saw your lightknew you were still workingwhen the night is deepwhen the cries of the tram die downwe, before our different windowstry listening for the same cicadathis morning wind and rain now it’s sunny againI see my broken umbrellasame as the crumpled pagesI dump it by the gateyou ask about the weatherI can’t predict ityou will feel itonly when you’re out on the roadbut when you’re goneall these booksall these art volumestoo many to deal withwhat to do?the tired house lizard crawls bythe canyon of old books under the blind leavesif you wonder, why not listento the old man yelling outside the windowall he brings is a grindstoneto sharpen blunt blades all along the street

November 1975

104

游戲 gambit

還差幾哩路才到新年

又是一年的終了

你走向更遠的路

明信片村莊

和那麼多名人的墓地

星光下我站定

在指尖看一個寒冷的奇跡

回顧我的影子

它總在那裏

歌聲繼續唱下去

朋友說我看來很好

在風裏紅着鼻子

並不比記憶中更難看

在濕滑的斜坡保持平衡

我不會誇耀扭傷的腳踝

始終不相信

從一個玩具風鼓模型

可以搖出豐富的稻米

在咖啡裏加一點酒罷

它喝來會更溫暖

站在路口的時候

我設法辨別吸進鼻子裏的

是甚麼氣味

在深夜的街頭

金屬大廈的腳旁

果皮和煙蒂竊竊私語

野貓宣佈愛上殘羹

而腳旁的滿地紙屑

在一陣微風後四散

我仍做各種愚蠢的事情

在寒天走路

懷疑所有的鞋子

吃許多魚骨

看一部沉悶的間諜片

等待溫情的一幕

調整收音機的波長

收聽鳥兒掙扎自由的呼吸

游戲

105

gambit

how many miles to the new year

it’s the end of another yearyou venture to the far roadpostcard villagesand those many tombs of famous menI stand still under the starlightwatch one cold miracle on my fingertipslook back on my shadowit’s always therethe singing goes onmy friends say I look alrightnose reddened in the windnot worse than they rememberkeeping my balance on the slippery slopeI won’t boast about my broken anklestill don’t believeyou could shake out a rich harvest of ricefrom a toy model of a wind drum add some spirits to the coffeetastes warmerstanding at the intersectionI try to tell what the smell in my nose ison the late night streetat the foot of the steel tower fruit skins and cigarette ends murmuringwild cats declare they’ve fallen in love with left-oversand the waste paper beside my feetscatters after a gust of windI’m still doing all kinds of stupid thingswalking in the cold dayssuspicious of all kinds of shoestry to suck on so many fish bonessee a boring spy filmwaiting for the tender sceneadjusting waves of the radiolistening to the birds struggling

106

游戲 gambit

我仍比東區所有的咖啡店

更遲入睡

我們已經過這麼多事情

所以也不要假裝了

我知道惺忪的談話

並不會使太陽更壯麗地升起

指尖上的奇跡

只是每日的寒冷

影子難得歌唱

即使走過鋼琴舖

或是殘花滿地的殯儀館

你若聽見聲音

那不過是我

在口袋的破紙上

寫下斷續的句子

一九七七年二月

游戲

107

gambit

for a breath of freedomI still fall asleep later than all the cafes in the east districtwe’ve been through all these thingsso let’s not pretendI know sleepy conversationswon’t make the sun rise more magnificentlythe miracle on my fingertips is justeveryday coldnessthe shadow seldom chantseven when passing by the piano shopor the floor of the funeral parlour covered with withered flowersanything you hearwill merely be my broken lineswritten on scrap paper out of my pocket

February 1977

游歷

ambletales

110

游歷 ambletales

西湖

在九曲橋畔我瞥見遠遠一叢

寬敞的手掌在風中輕輕揮動

我想提筆告訴你，在西湖，如何

從擁擠的游人間繞路走近一池

舒展自如的花葉，我不打算用

古典的言語敘述阮公墩上擬古的

戲劇，在這充滿了典故的名勝

我想給你講我的故事，左拐右轉

相信越過那些矮樹叢我們終會接近

心中安靜的池塘，隨意仰俯舒伸

枯黃的葉旁邊可以有新凈的緋紅

當我提起筆來，看着箋上隱約的

花的紋理，自有它們暗藏的機杼

我又不想用文字去玷染，我怎可以

從花際關係去說清楚人的真幻

我們反覆拓印優雅，墨跡愈見模糊

記述歷史的石雕毀於一場文化的災劫

或是粗鄙的塗污，我們跟隨點撇勾捺

找到隱秘的傷痕，哀惜文字的殘缺

美麗的傳說依然流佈，更多平庸的

高樓建築起來反駁湖上舒閑的美景了

我們走遍九曲橋也沒法接近，愛花的心

總經得起冷嘲，當觀魚的人發現

覓食的鰓嘴在播弄的手下，波心印月

不過是人工燭火擺弄上千的光影

神話到頭來總有參差，可以想像你

冷冷笑紙上優美然而無力的紋理

在舊的傷疤和新的迷亂四面圍繞的

這個湖邊，樹影後或許有疼痛的憂慮

暗湧的波濤可能咽下辛酸的呻吟

但見清風運腕而漣漪舒開畫卷

天地寫它挺秀而蒼涼的書法

茫茫煙水箋紋間我們是散落的墨滴

依然從斷折的筆劃間猜測整幅淋漓

一九八七年八月

游歷

111

ambletales

West Lake

under the Jiu Qu Bridge, standing by the river I saw a bush further off wild palms waving softly in the breeze I wanted to write to you, tell you, at the West Lake how I detoured among the tourist crowds and came to the water flowers and foliage stretching at ease I don’t want to narrate the archaic drama carved on Ruan Gong Island, this famous site full of allusions I want to tell you my story, turn left and turn right we believe we’ll approach the quiet pond in our hearts after going through all that bush curling up or stretching at easebeside the dry yellow leaves could be the new crimson when I pick up my pen, look at the dim flower pattern on the letter paper, it has its own hidden traces I don’t want to colour it with words, how can I tell from flowery relationships, if people are real we keep rubbing the elegant stone, the trace of the ink becomes weaker and weaker write how all the stone monuments were destroyed by a cultural disaster or by rude scribbling, we follow a dot a diagonal stroke, a hook and a stroke from left to right found out the secret wound, lament and pity for the incompleteness of wordsthe beautiful legend still passed on more banal buildings built up to argue with the serene scene of the lake we’re not getting close even after we’ve walked on the Jiu Qu Bridge time after time, the heart that loves flowers won’t care about being laughed at when the people who want to see the fish discover mouths opening and closing under the hands in the water

112

游歷 ambletales

游歷

113

ambletales

in the middle of the tide, a moon reflected what’s shaking is only the millions of lights and the shadows made by people legends will be different in the end I can imagine you sneering at the elegant but weak texture on the paperaround the old scar and the new frenzy of this lakeside the thing behind the tree’s shadow may have the pain of worrying the invisible waves might have swallowed down a bitter groan see the breeze turning it’s wrists then spread out the ripple scroll beautiful but bleak calligraphy of the earth and skywe’re the ink drops scattered among the vast patterns of smoggy water still trying to make out the complete splash from the broken strokes

August 1987

114

游歷 ambletales

三蘇祠提問

坐下來喝一杯罷

白果雞裏有人間的真味

肘子肥鮮，還有魚美筍香

你真的不介意大麴借用你的名字？

當然，味道濃淡總隨人品嘗

要看金漆的英雄像

還不如看窗外穿灰色毛衣的新娘

你看她一點也不害羞

敬過酒，轉眼賓客走光了

跟家人圍坐下來

好像正在跟新郎計算甚麼呢

燃放的鞭炮剩下滿地紅紙

孩子們開心跳躍，踩碎星星

雙腳黏起不知多少紅色碎屑

又來了一桌客人，生意真好

這麼小的廚房做得出這麼多菜？

這兒的服務還算是好的

要是以前……怎麼說呢——

好，好，再來一杯

我們也許可以談談野花啼鳥

悠然說起——那池裏的水

帶着苔青顏色，只是為甚麼不再流動了？

也許該談談生態的問題？

喝多了我也想問，你對門前那尊雕像

有甚麼看法？太配合當前的政治

要求了罷？介紹生平的字畫

也許太傖俗了？你始終沒有回答

對我這外人挑剔的問題只是微笑

彷彿說：去年重陽的災劫裏

還不知有如今把盞的日子呢！

一九八七年一月

游歷

115

ambletales

question at the Three Su temple

sit down and have a drinkthe truest flavour on earth is in the ginkgo chickenfat fresh elbows, beautiful fish and the bamboo shoots smell goodyou really don’t mind that the Da Qu wine borrows your name?of course, heavy or light depends on people’s tastewant to see the gilt hero statuebetter look at the bride in a grey sweater outside the windowyou see, she’s not at all shyafter the toast, the guests are gone in the blink of an eyeshe sits down with her familyseems to be counting out something with the groomfirecrackers have left a mess of red paperchildren jumping up happily, tread on the starscountless red scraps stick under their feetone more table is set, good businesshow can a small kitchen like this cook up so many dishes?the service isn’t bad eitherbefore…how do you say?okay, okay, one more glasswe might talk about the wild flowers and birds twitteringat leisure mention – pond watermoss coloured, but if it stops flowing?maybe it’s time to discuss eco-problems?having drunk too much, I also want to ask what do you think of that pair of statuesin front of the gate across the way? maybe too well suited to the present political climate? the biographical drawings and descriptionsmaybe too twee you never answer these – only smile at these cynical questions asked by an outsider like melike saying: the disaster happened last Chongyang festival in those days, I didn’t know we could still have a drink together like this!

January 1987

116

游歷 ambletales

廣場

連場春雨後我們一朝醒來

忽然發覺家具都老了 今日的軀體無處安頓 在我們和舊日的床褥之間

產生了許多世代的距離 終日在靜物間尋找所愛 記憶蒸發牆壁滲出了汗水 龍紋瓷磚上看見了裂縫

四周堆積的言語堆積的事物 界定我們我們卻想重新界定門窗 永遠的廣場上搭起一個個臨時帳蓬 心中有飄泊的燈光來往開關

從頭整理居所重拾種種意義 失去了屋脊我們在被搜查過的客廳 尋一綑新的繩子去丈量今天 想跨過地上縱橫的牽絆緊緊地

抱住自身也不能完全自主 被黑夜驚醒讓我們有新的秩序 想拉開一幅布遮住塗污的肖像 風砂刮起紙屑雷暴劈裂了桌椅

一九八九年五月

游歷

117

ambletales

the square

we wake up one morning after a series of spring rainsand find all the furniture become oldnowhere to settle the body between yesterday’s quilt and us now

brings out gaps between many generationssearching for the beloved in still life all day longmemories evaporated, walls sweatingsee the cracks on the dragon pattern tiles

around us, language piled up things piled updefining us but we want to define the door and the windowtemporal tents set up one after another on the permanent squaredrifting light in the heart and goes on and off

again, tidy up the house from the very beginning, again pick up different meaningswe’re in the living room that was raided the crossbeam’s gonesearching for a new bundle of rope to measure todaywant to avoid stumbling, even if we

hold tight to ourselves, still we can’t act for ourselveswakened by night’s darkness, new order comes to uswant to drag down the cloth covering the smeared statuea sandstorm rolling up pieces of paper thunder and lightning cleave tables and chairs

May 1989

118

游歷 ambletales

蔡孑民先生墓前

他們找不到豐碑巨碣就失望了

奇怪老有人想把你吵醒

搬離偏僻的香港仔，回到

更顯赫的中心

　　　　　　曾經在鐵屋裏

喚醒睡死的人

　　　　　　擲石盪起漣漪

至今未嘗止息

那是北京五月一個普通的星期天

一個涼爽、刮風的日子

　　　　　　　　　　一代人

站在新舊中國的交界處

曾經相信

　　　　兼容巉巖和野草

逐步緩緩改變

　　　　　　眾人的視野

你在追求文明的風景

　　　　　　　　　盪起的漣漪

也擴展至這務漁的小島

如今架起新的天橋

有來往喧鬧的車聲

總是問如何整飭學風

延聘敦厚的專才

如何周旋於

激昂與懦怯之間

如何在澆薄的人間

推廣美的教育？

在災難的歲月輾轉進退

你一定熬費思量

最後病倒了

南來養病

後來你看不見更大的火災了

那些焚掉的書本

荒廢的校園

敗壞了的一排排喬木

不是你心中豁達的景致

游歷

119

ambletales

at the grave of Mr. Choi Kit Man

they’re disappointed when they can’t find the great monument and the huge stoneit’s weird there’s always someone who wants to wake you upget out of obscure Aberdeen, come back to the centre

once in a tin housea dead man was wakened throw the stone, there will be rippleseven nowit was in Beijing, an ordinary Sunday in May a cool, windy day one generationstood on the line dividing old and new Chinathey once believed rocks and weeds were compatiblethis gradually changed people’s visionthe cultural landscape that you had been pursuing ripplesexpanded to this fishing islandnow there are high bridgestraffic bustling always asking how to rectify the educationhiring specialists who are sincere and gentle how to deal withthe passionate and the cowardly how to promote an education in aesthetics in the insensate world? floundering, advancing and retreating in hard timesyou must have been torn by thinking at last become ill went south to be nursedthen you couldn’t witness the bigger firethose burned booksdeserted campusesline after line of young trees witherednot your idea of tolerance

120

游歷 ambletales

　 你有理由

留在這裏

正如你留在

任何一個地方

靜看一朵雲飄進來

飄出去

你已經成為我們的一部分

我不必誇張舉殯的熱鬧與墓前的冷清

讓我們不要在風景裏尋找牽強的比喻

不要從一個高昂的角度鄙視島嶼的邊緣

實事求是地看待鋪地的落葉吧

這裏畢竟是你多年休憩的地方

我們獻上花

如果有一天

你找到一塊

更寬敞

更包容的

樂土

更文明的

寧靜而強毅的園林

我樂於目送你歸去

祝福你

祝福我們

一九九四年

游歷

121

ambletales

you have a reasonto stay here

like you could be anywheresilently watch a cloud drifting in drifting outyou’re already a part of usI don’t need to talk about the busy funeral home or the desolate gravelet’s not try for far-fetched metaphors in the landscapeeven from an elated place no need to look down on the island’s edgeview the fallen leaves as they areafter all, this is where you’d been resting for years we dedicate the flowers

if one dayyou discover a wider more tolerant happy placemore civilised a quiet lasting gardenI’d be happy to see you off bless you bless ourselves

1994

122

游歷 ambletales

大地上的居所

在大地上尋找居所

可以生活和工作的家

人們來到圍牆旁邊

停下來，向遠方眺望

不僅是可以托庇的樹蔭

還望有隨意舒展的天空

眨着疲累的眼睛

望向遠方的汪洋

一個夢碎了又好像有新的夢

遺忘的洪水上往往翻起歷史的碎屑

在劇場裏人們逐漸圍攏，談起

新的劇本：改變原來的情節

牆上沒有偷聽的耳朵

沒有人需要壓低聲音、扭曲

自然生長的身體

望向地平線的那邊

傷心的眼淚聚成更深的海水

浪花碎散在遠處掀起波瀾

受了傷的會得到治療嗎？

冤枉的會得到裁決

心會找到安頓的所在

地下室裏的眼睛再看見天空？

在寂寞裏聽見水流的聲音

淤漬的溝渠疏通又再流動

在一處受的委屈真的可以在另一處舒展？

是甚麼節日令人想起往歷史裏尋找？

不僅是一個家是許多許多個家

椅子端出門外拆下一道道籬笆

一九九零年初

游歷

123

ambletales

dwelling on earth

finding a place to live on earthcould be a home for living and workingpeople come to the wallsstop, gazing outcould be the protecting shades of treesor it could be the stretching sky

tired eyes blinkinglook to the sea far offone dream is broken but there might be a new dreamoftentimes there are crumbs of history on the flood of forgettingpeople gather up in the theatre, mentioningthe new script: change the old plotno eavesdropping ears on the wallsno one needs to lower his voice, to twistthe naturally growing body

look at the horizonsad tears converging in the deeper seawaves broken billowing up afarwill the wounded ones be cured?will the wronged be given justice?the heart will find its waythe eyes in the basement – will they see the sky again?

in silence the sound of water flowing a silted channel runs againone wronged here – will he be elsewhere vindicated?what kind of a festival makes people want to learn from history?not just one dwelling but many take the chairs out, tear down the fences

early 1990

124

游歷 ambletales

牆的故事

牆倒下了

我們看得更清楚嗎？

守衛用警犬和手槍守護牆

約翰和瑪麗藏在車廂裏越過牆

漢斯用摺梯攀過牆

彼得用翅膀飛越牆

羅拔在穿牆的時候永遠卡死在那裏了

政治家用修辭演說牆

畫家給牆作死後的化粧

牆倒下了

我們看得更清楚嗎？

路旁的攤子在出售牆

鑿成碎片作鎖匙扣的是牆

游客們用鎚和鑿去敲剩下的牆

人們在牆前拍照站成一扇牆

有一個熱鬧的演唱會演唱牆

香煙廣告從地面生長攀過了牆

過來了流浪的人羣過去了花花公子

我們帶着我們的牆走過牆

游歷

125

ambletales

story of the wall

the wall falls downdo we see more clearly?

the guards guarding the wall with police dogs and gunsJohn and Mary hiding inside the carriage pass the wallHans climbed over on the folding ladderPeter flew over with his wingsRobert was stuck there and died running through the wallpoliticians speak rhetorically about the wallpainters en-coffin-ing the wall

the wall falls downdo we see more clearly?

stalls by the road are selling the wallkey chains made by crushing pieces of the walltourists knocked down what was left of the wall with hammers and with anvilsthere’s a wall of tourists taking pictures in front of the wallthey sing about the wall at the jolly concertcigarette ads grow up from the ground and they climb over the wallhere come the vagabonds, there go the playboys

it’s with our walls we get past the wall

126

游歷 ambletales

奧斯維茲集中營舊址

在這些房子裏找到

刻在牆上的名字

你遲疑地踏進門檻

室內彷彿比外面的雪地更冷

是誰要收集這些物質？

數不清地堆疊在眾人眼前：

皮箱不再用來盛載衣服

衣服不再用來蔽體保暖

籃子不再用來盛菜

木棒不再用來搓麪粉

烤出芳香的麪包

無數副眼鏡

瞪視着眼前的玻璃

無數個刮鬍子用的小帚

空豎着帶刺的鬍渣子

無數的鞋子交疊

無數的足踝走不出這個迷宮

應該有燃點的燭光

給亡靈予安慰？

應該有一雙更大的手

承載着委屈的殘骸？

喻示經過災劫

會找到新生的意義？

我只看見空洞的鏡片

瞪視着一個無影的空間

一九九二年

游歷

127

ambletales

at Auschwitz

in the house you foundthe names carved on wallsyou hesitated to come insideit seemed colder than the snowy ground outside

who wants to collect these?countless piles in front of peoplesuitcases no longer carry clothesclothes no longer cover the body or keep one warmbaskets no longer carry vegetablesrolling pins no longer roll doughto bake delicious bread

countless pairs of glassesstare at the glass in front of themcountless brushes used in shavinga thorny beard stub stands helplesslycountless shoes one on top of anothercountless ankles won’t walk out of the maze

maybe there are candleslighting up to comfort the dead?maybe there are bigger handsto hold up the sad wreckage?foretelling after the traumawill you find the meaning of rebirth?… all I see is empty glassesstaring into shadeless space

1992

128

游歷 ambletales

克拉科夫歷史博物館

那麼多閃亮的盔甲和刀劍

我們卻更愛看攪拌的機器

煮燒的燒鍋、或那彎彎曲曲

可以把頭髮燙得彎彎曲曲的鉗子

我們喜歡洗澡的水盆

笨拙的舊燙斗，隨手攤開

繽紛的刺繡，可以穿在一個

芬芳的人身上，每一個結都是心思

靈巧的盤纏、溫柔的舒倦

那麼多帝皇的冠冕

權杖和闊袍、堂皇的旗幟繡着

軒昂的雄雞總叫我們忍不住發笑

我們更愛看酒館的招牌

香煙盒子上的彩畫、酒瓶上的招紙

觥籌交錯，我喜歡優美的食具

總想從微微隆起肚子的滑稽水瓶

斟水給眾生的胖子和瘦子

百姓簡單的營生有靈活的精神

一九九二年

游歷

129

ambletales

in the Krakow History Museum

so many shiny suits of armour, swordsbut what we love to see are the eggbeatersused cooking pots, and those curvedpliers that could be used to perm hairwe love the bathing basinsclumsy irons, the spread out colourful embroiderysomeone perfumed can wearevery knot is a thoughtskillful coiling, tender rolling

so many crowns of emperorsmaces and robes, the dignified rooster embroidered on the deluxe flags always keeps us laughingwe love to see the signs of the barscolourful pictures on the cigarette packs labels on the wine bottlescups go happily round the tables, I love the graceful tablewarealways want to pour some water for the fat and for the skinny from the funny belly of the bottlethe simple life of common folk has an active spirit

1992

130

游歷 ambletales

在卡夫卡故居

在一個陽光的早晨過份明亮的房間裏

想像你深夜在濕冷的石板路上逃走

曾經拒絕巍峨的建築咀嚼的齒牙

轉入腦細胞經營波光夢影的鱗片

這是你在好多房子中曾經生活過的房子

一次又一次吹熄洋燭聚影在人際關係上

鐘敲八下受詛咒的街道上胡蘿蔔還是鼻子

他是誰亂石墓碑間詩人還是裝飾的舊路燈?

迷宮甬道傳來舊日的氣味剝落黃牆堆積恐懼

在現代城市中提醒我們貧民區中骯髒的酒館

父親嚴苛的注視重重壓下黑色圓帽猶如祭品

頹垣重建的城裏他們開始把你的臉孔穿在身上

相信你陰鬱的蛹能幫助其他人化成蝴蝶？

你的恐懼能否令我們正視大家缺乏的勇氣？

不斷收集意義的碎片怪獸承露渠管磚瓦的光影

到頭來我們發現古老猶太人區在心的一角顫慄？

游歷

131

ambletales

in Kafka’s old house

in a room too bright on a sunny morningI imagine you escaping late onto the cold wet road of stones

having refused the chomping teeth of the towerturned into brain cells to manage the shimmering dream scales

this is a house you once lived in there were many other housesyou blew out the candles one after another shadows on relationship

the bell tolled eight times, was it a carrot or a nose on the cursed street?who is he? the poet or the old decorative streetlamp among messy tombstones

there’s the smell of the old times in the mazefear gathering at the peeled yellow wallreminding us about the dirty slum bar in the city

under your father’s harsh gaze, the dark round cap was like an offeringthey start wearing your face in the city that was once deserted but now is rebuilding

your gloomy cocoon will help other people to be metamorphosed into butterflies?will your fear make us see our cowardliness as it is?

continually collecting fragments of meaning the monster reflecting the light on the tubes and tileswill we at last see the old Jewish district trembling at the corner of the heart?

132

游歷 ambletales

木基督像

木在心臟的位置露出裂紋

從年月的缺口，鬱熱的

澎湃或嚴冬的退縮，固守

積聚了霉菌，流亡則閱盡

人間的偏執，還有兵戈的愚昧

不斷試探，誰是最大的敵人

枝椏生長經歷憂慮

臉孔和四肢在歷史的災劫裏

多方探索又失去自己

破散的紋理分出許多敘事

繼續地自我反駁又向你游說

罪的救贖，善的可能

宗教的衣褶易在流傳中定形

信仰的面目有時模糊而且殘缺

虔誠觀看者端詳五官的細節

想進入更穩定的深心，可能嗎？

是年輪、是剝落的樹皮？

還是從木的本質裏幻想出神奇？

倘若相信，那從最簡樸的棕色

木像的臉孔上也逐漸看見

包容的形象，複雜的反思

指向分歧，又指向更大的

和諧，但倘若你懷疑

那金箔也同樣不能……

游歷

133

ambletales

wooden statue of Jesus

there’s a crack over its heartin the gap of time, wet warmsurging or withdrawing in the harsh winterin the case of remaining, there’ll be mold, if it’s exileit’ll read all the paranoia on earth, and the stupidity of warkeep probing who’s the greatest enemy

branches grow from worriesfaces and limbs found and lost themselvesin historical disastersbroken textures tell many storiescontinually self retorting and persuading youof sin’s salvation, the possibility of goodness

folds on the robe of religion will easily form a shape during propagationthe religious face, sometimes blurred, sometimes incompletebelievers gaze sincerely at the details on the facewant to go deep inside the heart, is it possible?is it the rings in the timber or the fallen bark?or magic imagined from the nature of trees?

if you believe, the most simple brown colourseen on the face of the wooden statue is the image of tolerance, complicated reflectionpoints to disputation, and points to greaterharmony, but if you still have suspicions about this then even the gold foils won’t do…

134

游歷 ambletales

絲綢之路

「絲綢初次抵達羅馬

可是樹上長出的絨毛

包裹着馬鞍和坐墊

包裹着芬芳的裸體

這些誘人的迷纏來自遠方

在我們所知道的地方以外

一個喚作契丹的神秘國度

聽說那裏的人光靠飲水

安享二、三百載的光陰」

「使者帶來了黃金和犀角

經過萬水千山抵達長安

人馬帶着異域的風塵

張嘴說胡語問我們怎樣養蠶

穿着鮮豔的衣裳玩雜技

陌生的曲謠來自何方？

彈奏奇怪樂器的高大漢子

像我們那樣長着端正的五官

且把遠方那個國家喚做大秦」

漫長的歲月不斷吐出幻思

機智的商人沿著地中海岸

迎着吹來的北風向東方航去

東方有人觀星惴想宇宙的形狀

好奇或貪婪的心經過風浪

經過印度洋上搶掠的危險

尋找神秘樂土擴充想像的疆界

一絲絲若斷若連的線來往穿梭

編織出未見過的玄幻的臉孔

一九九九年二月

游歷

135

ambletales

the Silk Road

‘when the silk first arrived in Romeit was just fluff grown out of the treecovered the saddles and cushionscovered the fragrant nudethese enticing fabrics came from afarout of the places that we knewthere was a mysterious kingdom called Khitanit was told the people there would live two or three hundred years and peacefully just by drinking water’

‘messengers brought gold and rhino hornscrossing mountains and waters and arrived at Chang Anmen and horses had an exotic air opened their mouths in a foreign tongueand asked us how to raise silkwormsdressed in colourful clothes, doing acrobaticswhere did the strange songs come from?the big man playing an odd looking instrumenthad the same proper face as ourslet’s call the faraway kingdom Da Qin’

over thousands of years the myth was spewedclever merchants sail the Mediterraneanfacing the north wind, heading eastthere’s a star-gazer trying to make out the shape of the universe in that directionit’s either curiosity or greed that goes through the stormthat escapes the pirates on the Indian Oceanfinding the promised land and expanding the imagined bordertrace after trace, half linking half breaking the silk comes and goes back and forthweaving the unseen orphic face

February 1999

136

游歷 ambletales

出關

出嘉裕關，往敦煌去了

蘭新鐵路，五七年開闢的西北第一鐵路

把燃油運到華東

天山雪水溶後成為綠洲

過的好像還是雞叫狗嗚的生活

可水電都有了

游客也來了

昨天晚上睡的可好

坎兒井的水兒清

葡萄園裏的歌兒多

剛趕着把文件傳真回去

明早公司還要趕着開會嗎？

西出陽關

我們沿路會看見邊關的烽火台

偶爾看見房子像泥土的顏色

在黃土裏多少年了

老百姓是泥土的顏色

嘉裕關是衛生城市

垃圾靠風吹，污水靠蒸發

我們要出關去了

乘車或乘駱駝

西出陽關，茫茫一片大漠

輝煌的宮殿只剩下兩道闕門呢

戈壁紅柳，花未開

開了就會火紅火紅的

酥油茶能喝嗎？

不同的食物令你驚訝

手抓羊肉居然如此美味

外面是不同的民族、是不同的

宗教嗎？殘暴抑或繽紛？

關外的征戰，撕殺總不停息

你帶著好奇抑或不以為然的目光

晨昏光線變幻，改變你原來的看法

游歷

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passing the frontier

crossing the Jia Yu Pass, heading towards Dun Huangis the railway between Lan Zhou and Xin Jiang, the first line built in the north west in 1957 delivering fuel to Hua Dong

after the snows on Tian Shan melt, there’s an oasiseveryday life seems archaicbut they have running water and electricitytourists also come‘did you sleep well last night?’

clear water of Karezvarious songs in the vineyardI was just hurrying to fax a document and wondereddo I need to hurry back to the company meeting tomorrow morning?

west of the Yang gatewe would see the beacons along the wayoccasionally saw the mud-coloured houseshiding in the loess many yearspeople had turned yellow

Jia Yu Guan is a clean citygarbage blown away in the wind foul water evaporatedwe’ll cross the frontier by bus or on camel

west of the Yang gate, the infinite desertonly two gates, left in the glorious palacetamarisk on the Gobi, not yet blossomedbut it will be flamingly red when it does

is the butter tea really edible?different kinds of food surprise youactually finger mutton’s delicious

138

游歷 ambletales

我們要出關去了

持一函護照，等待大人簽押

古裝美女載歌載舞

若要拍照可要付錢

遙想昔日的旅人來到綠洲

艱難的商旅在旅途中慘遭劫殺

西出陽關，沒有想法跟我們一樣的故人了

喝的那杯酒不知是甚麼味道

走進陌生的空間，耳邊聽見了

陌生的歌聲

二零零八至二零一零

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what’s outside, different nationalities, different religions? brutal or colourful?wars beyond the frontier, fighting never endsyou look at these with curiosity or indifferencethe light changes night and day, your original thoughts are changed

we’ll cross the frontierholding a passport, waiting for the officer to stamp itbeauties dancing and singing in traditional dressesyou need to pay for a photo

thinking back on yesterday’s travelers, they reached the oasisgot through the troublesome business trip, got robbed and killed west of the Yang gate, there’s no old friend who thinks like usdon’t know how the wine tastesstrolling into unknown space hear the foreign singing

2008-2010

游於藝

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142

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景變集

（觀王無邪在德國文化協會的畫展「景變集」有感。）

新的肢體推開舊的風景蔓伸的根進入巖層執拗的深處從那些茂密鬱蓊中掙出石的嬰兒臉上不帶昔日的皺紋

時日如顏色變幻黃與青化入褐紫崗陵銹紅的焦慮溶入我們的呼息更多割裂的星宿更多崩離的山脈我們且將接受根與枝的分飛直至凝成另一種新黃

新的肢體醒自古老的河床。我們站在這裏看奇異的樹木在四周生長新的町徑在足旁冒升越過那些煙雨和秋涼如盆如皿的土形不斷塑造我們的臉容

時日與容顏變幻是誰把高崗磨平把島嶼剖開而且把丘陵和三角洲倒置在夢的那端？帶來洪水和侵蝕的也給我們的老屋打開新的窗扉陷落的泥層輾轉重組如神話中切碎的肉球片屑被風吹成無數新人我們站在裂縫和光影間久久注視這些新升起的形象

一九七四年九月

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changing scenes

(some thoughts on Wucius Wong’s painting exhibition ‘Changing Scenes’ at the Goethe Institute)

new limbs push away old sightsslow roots crawl intothe stubborn deep of rocksfrom those entwined deep greensrocky babies emerge faces with no sign of age wrinkles

time changes the way colours doyellow and blue green mingle – brown violetthe worry in the rusty red of mountain peakssteals into our breathsmore scattered constellationsmore separate ridgeswe might as well accept the divorce of roots and branchesuntil a new yellow is born

new limbs wake in ancient river bedswe are standing herewatching exotic trees grow all aroundnew town trails rise at our feetpast those smoky rains and autumn windsstructures like pots and containersforever shaping our faces

times and faces changewho leveled the peak?split the island?who put hill and deltaupside down into the realm of dreams? what brings us floods and erosionalso opens new windows for our old housesfallen mantels have been turned over, renewedas in the myth, sherds of flesh ballsblown into new bodies by the windwe stand between shadow and light, staring for a long time at the new images arising just now

September 1974

144

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秋林——題吳凡的「秋林」

灰幹間橙色的言語

說新涼進入

大地鬱結的眉宇虬蟠的獲得舒展

堅持的任它飄動

於是便有了

這麼輕淡如靜寂的聲音

枝上枝下

微褐襯托灰茫

有葉的圓塊

調和枝梢的稜銳

寂寞中以清涼的舒泰為甜美

成熟於枝頭和墜落地面的

都說着同樣的話

林木只感到不相干

有時枝梢不知戟指着甚麼

也只是搖搖葉的手掌算了

不想卻又見到

一個孩子負着背簍前來

在這裏孜孜地收集一點甚麼

且正低頭熱切地看着

耙下一兩點明亮的顏色

一九七三年九月

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autumn forests –on ‘Autumn Forests’ by Wu Fan

orange words among grey branchesa talk about a new cold entering the gloomy brows of the earthextend what is curled uplet float those who insistthus the lightness of silent sounds

up and down the brancheslight browns along with greyish planesround leavesharmonize the sharpness of twigssweet is cool comfort in loneliness

ripe on branches or on the groundspeak the same wordsthe forest feels only indifferencesometimes the twigs point somewhereonly hands waving with leaves

not wanting but seeinga child carrying a basket coming neardiligently collecting somethinglooking attentively at the groundraking out one or two bright shades

September 1973

146

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青銅雙像

我們從相對的方向伸出手，隔着這幅空間

我開始斷斷續續地說話，在你眼中孤獨地旅行

人造霜雪逐日改變你我的臉孔，過去比星宿沉重

壓在肩上令今日變形，閃掠的可是肌膚的本色？

眾手的試探產生霉銹，抑或磨出華美的斑紋？

懷疑令雕塑戰慄，只有層層迴轉內探尋求平衡

我屢次不自覺地傾側向你，粗笨且充滿渴求

希望你是承載的大地，溫柔地托起彼此的偏鋒

你有時閉合了，彷彿沉入命定的空間無法跨越

透過浮光懷記青銅的本質，漫長等待中想見

筋肌的花朵彷彿又再打開，晨露中我們昇至

這櫥窗的位置，長遠的凝視中有苦澀也有甜蜜

一九八六年二月

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two bronze statues

we stretch out our arms from opposite directions through this spaceI begin to speak intermittently and, in your eyes, travel alone

artificial snow gradually changes our faces the past heavier than the constellationsheavy on the shoulders it deforms today is this glimmer the original colour of the skin?

rust appears after so many touches by people or beautiful patterns with the frictiondoubts shake the sculptures, the only balance is found in a deep level by level search

many times I have leaned on you clumsy and full of desirewishing you were the land that holds and gently softens our angles

sometimes you are closed, as if fallen into destined space unable to pass throughthrough fleeting lights, I recall the raw bronze hoping to meet after a long wait

muscular flowers seem to open again, in the mist, we riseto the position of the show window, bitter and sweet found in a long gaze

February 1986

148

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在梵谷大展場外想念文生

你和我是這博物館裏的兩個異鄉人

你的傷口燦爛得像太陽

因為你不去粉飾它

我拙於說出自己的煩憂

不願意隨便披掛一個金銀的面具

你也不是排隊進場的人

站在持有預購門券的人們外面

你不是那些在節日買一本顏色書送禮

星期天夾着一份紐約時報走路的人

那些在精巧的事物間散步

到處旅行為了收集紀念品的人

彼此碰頭，脫下外衣交給衣帽間

在博物館寒暄，文生•梵谷

你和我是這裏的兩個異鄉人

我們是那雙襤褸的鞋，雪地受寒

跋踄中磨損，彼此挨近又分開

你只能給出自己的耳朵笨拙的

弧形讓別人拿來裝飾他們的房子

踉蹌走出界線外面不以為自己超越了

你口吃重複說我今天把畫像寄給你

你一定要花點時間慢慢看我希望你看見

我更平靜了我嘗試把它弄得更簡單

瑣瑣聲音外我始終聽見你沙啞的聲音

吞下粗重的悲苦望向自身以外

說在一日這時刻仍然看見青綠

玫瑰甲蟲還有禪在熱浪中飛翔

我愛你的高昂從不離開日常的事物

我們其實同樣追尋清晰的線條

眼前閑談的聲音逐漸模糊

整齊的隊伍變成抽象的圖形

組合又分散了，我仍感覺你在後面

凝神對着這世界看得更久更深

你說那裏有一張長凳三張椅子

一個黝黑的人戴一頂黃帽

你說前景有一頭黑貓

你說天空是淡青色的

一九八一年三月

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thinking of Vincent at Van Gogh’s exhibition

you and I are strangers in this museumyour wound brilliant like the sunbecause you have not covered it with decorationsI don’t know how to describe my worriesnot willing to put on whatever golden and silvery maskneither are you one of those who enter after standing in a queue standing away from those who have already bought the ticketsyou are not one of those who buy a colour book as a giftand walk with a New York Times tucked under the arm on Sundaysnor one of those who stroll among delicate productscollect souvenirs everywhere on a trip meet and take off coats in the cloakroomchat at the museum, Vincent Van Goghyou and I are two strangers herewe are those worn shoes, frozen in the snowy worldworn in our footsteps, getting close and moving awayyou can only give away the clumsy curve of your own earto decorate the houses of othersyou hurry out, not knowing you have crossed the linesyou stammer and repeat I will send the portrait to you todayyou must take time to look and I hope you seeI become calmer and I try to make it simpleramidst constant chatter, I can always hear your rough voiceswallowing great misery and looking outside of yourselfsaying at this very moment you still see greenroses, beetles and cicadas fly in the waves of heatI love your sublimity – it never strays from ordinary thingswe both look for clear linesthe chatting voices die awayorderly queues become abstract patternsgroups are dispersed, and I still feel you are behind mestaring at the world, looking longer and deeperyou say there is a long bench and there are three chairsa dark person with a yellow hatyou say there is a black cat aheadyou say the sky is pale green

March 1981

150

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現在她們展覽蒼蠅了

藝術系的畫廊裏

那些洛杉磯來的女畫家

展覽腐爛的果物

破爛的衣服

氣味

透過一張破網

蚊蚋和蒼蠅

飛舞

我走近

又退開

走過去

沒有甚麼新事物

拼貼的愛情連環圖

脫衣舞娘的照片

血和刀

走過去

奇怪

這些愚蠢的事物

令我想起你

走入林間的小路

樹皮都脫落了

這麼多的樹皮

（總是這麼多的破爛）

在世界破爛的邊緣

你曾給我一張畫

那顏色溫暖明亮

不會輕易破碎

你撿拾人家拋棄的

黃色電腦用紙

搗拌

加熱

揉合

變成一張粉紅色手造紙

把世界的灰色和污黃

轉成早晨的雲霞

嫻靜走入

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now they exhibit flies

in the gallery at the art department those women artists from Los Angelesare showing rotten fruit worn-out clothesodours through a broken net mosquitoes and flies danceI walk near and retreat walk overnothing new collaged romance comicsphotographs of strippers blood and knives get closestrange that these silly things remind me of youentering a path in the forestbark peelingso much bark(always so many broken pieces)at the broken edge of the worldyou gave me a paintingthe colours were warm and brightinfrangibleyou collected yellow computer paperpeople had thrown away stirred warmed up blendedtransformed into a pink handmade paperturning the grey and yellow of the world

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顏色的冒險

這世界破爛的

隙縫中

蚊子飛舞

你低頭撿拾

輕輕縫補

撕破事物是容易的

網上晾着

腐敗的

果皮還是食物？

飛蟲

圍繞

展覽會場的燈光

令人疲倦

腐朽是容易的

現在她們展覽蒼蠅了

現在她們只繪畫傷疤

瘀黑的血和煙了

你說你不要無謂的毀損

曖昧的黃灰中

你仍相信微紅

冬日的陽光在背上

時暖時冷

路上這麼多樹

剝落了樹皮

如果你在

你會撿拾

縫補它們的傷殘

以一種溫柔的顏色吧？

讓紙上的小洞

透入晶亮的陽光

落在青青的草上

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into morning clouds and mistsa serene walk intothe risks of coloursin the crevices of this broken world mosquitoes dancedyou bent down to pick upmade a few repairs it is easy to tear up thingson the nets hang rotten fruit peels or food?flying insects flying around lights in the exhibition hall tiringit is easy to rot now they exhibit fliesnow they only paint scars darkened blood and smokeyou say you don’t want meaningless damagein the ambiguous grey yellowyou still believe in light redwinter sunlight on the backsometimes warm sometimes coldso many trees on the wayfallen bark if you were herewould you pick it up andsew up its woundswith a gentle hue?and let bright sunlight shinethrough tiny holes in the paperon to the green green grass

154

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與蔡仞姿討論裝置藝術及其他

「我正在上課，等會再覆電話給你吧。」

對不起，生活令我們早上九時半

無法暢談藝術。我們無疑都受制於

時間和空間。一幅紅巖逐漸剝落

不同天氣裏隱約的山形從四面牆伸入

室內的雲霧，那是咖啡壺的蒸氣嗎？

還有烤麪包，是了，你吃過

早餐沒有？那邊有一個座位？

但哪裏可以找到一幅比較大的空白

容得下我們心中的畫？也許加上

海波的光影，雪花虛實的圖畫

陽光照在秋天的紅葉上，生命裏逐漸難尋

色彩豔麗的分秒，令一天到了盡頭又再延長

進入隔壁的房間，結果我們到頭來

還是在不同的辦公室裏工作，遭遇

零星的刁難，別人無理的挑剔

回想一些比較寬敞的空間

很難叫人一起看風景去了

我們不會說甚麼輝煌的金句

或者深沉的人生哲思之類，年月逝去

到頭來你只在牆上看見顏色

一切都只在平面上，也許這就夠了

這裏我不想說有甚麼象徵

今天你佈置新居我來參觀

大家喝一杯酒，也許喝得太多

張頌仁又有文章要寫了

關於藝術和風水之類的問題

大概會發表在明報月刊，我們不寫

討論的文章，我們找尋更大的房間

我們看朋友怎樣在不同的空間中

放置每人心中脆弱的木條和紗幕

也許有時在鏡裏看見自己的臉，有時

看見腳。我也想把我的地方裝置一下

開拓游戲的範圍，拆開白雲四邊的

框架，把記憶像安石榴的種子埋藏

長出玉蜀黍的鬍子，用來做網

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talking with Choi Yan Chi about installation art and other topics

‘I am giving a class right now. Can I call you back later?’Sorry. Life has made it impossible for us to talk about art in the morning. We are ruled without doubtby time and by space. A wall of red rocks starts to crackinvisible mountain images in various weather conditions crawl in from the wallsthe indoor smoke, is it steam from the coffee pot?and baked bread, yes, have you hadbreakfast yet? Is there a seat over there?but where to find a bigger blank for the painting in our hearts? perhaps with lights on the waves paintings of virtual snowflakessunlight on red autumn leaves, moments of beautiful colours difficult to find in real life, day’s end is delayed againentering the next room, in the end wework in different offices, suffering reprimands once in a while, unreasonable criticisms and recall some bigger spacehard to ask someone to go sightseeing with uswe won’t offer any sublime quotations or subtle philosophical thoughts, years gonein the end you see only colours on the wallseverything two-dimensional, perhaps that’s enoughI don’t want to say there is any symbolization heretoday you have a new home and I have come to visitlet’s drink, or have we drunk too much?Songren Chang has something to write againabout art, feng shui and so on perhaps will publish it in Ming Pao Monthly we don’t write discursive essays we search for bigger spacewe watch how friends in different placeslay out fragile twigs and curtains in their heartsperhaps sometimes we can see our own faces in the mirror

156

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撩撥地板上起伏的潮水和螃蟹

若果你到頭來只在牆上看見極輕極淡的

顏色，那不是貧乏，是濃鬱

與喧嘩的感慨皆已說不清楚了

我從畫中的咖啡壺倒每天早晨的咖啡

吃不完的水果就隨手暫時擱回碟旁

一九八五年十一月

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sometimes our feet. I also want to decorate my placewiden the scope of the game, dismantle the frames ofwhite clouds, bury memories like pomegranate seedslet corn grow whiskers to make netsto stir tides and crabs on the floorif in the end you only see very lightcolours, then they are not poor, but richand loud laments, hard to explainI pour my coffee from a coffee pot in the paintingunfinished fruit put aside on the plates for the time being

November 1985

158

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在文化研究所看王履《華山圖》

人們散去，我轉入展覽館

感到好像安靜下來了，拾級而上

走向深山，你問剛才的文學會議

開得怎樣？我們還是不要談這些罷

山路陡峭難行，走到盡頭

卻是一片豁然開朗的風景

萬壑松風，萬頃晴波，真不明白

為甚麼總有人把一種山容

定為山水的正宗，我可愛那潦倒的

雜草，那些恣意橫生的枝椏

在游人指點的範圍以外

那些無法歸類的嶙峋，我可愛那個

繪畫釣魚圖而受讒，逃隱於寺院的畫家

那個一生落泊，激越成瘋的

留下了筆墨淋漓的小品

他一定也曾在某個早晨

靜看一枚石榴展露自己的面貌

筆筆含情，懂得了生長的辛酸

快要是冬天了，我們

仍然閑步在小路上

不要隨便走入茅簷下寒暄

扮作一個騎疲驢而歸的讀書人

假裝那些因襲故事裏的角色

不，我不要成為那摹古構圖的

一部份，讓我避開彎腰迎客的

老松，若陷在那糾纏的網羅裏

永遠也走不出來，巖巉執拗的

是自閉的藍圖，如何可以扭轉

人的偏見和機心呢？

我轉出來，在眼前的路上

尋找清新的筆墨，讓我們

爬上更高的山，離開慣定的符號

讓眼睛隨起伏的山嶺去得更遠

我曾在峰巒崎崛的溪山深處

仰望一鈎新月掛在樹梢

在緋紅的薄暮中劃出新痕

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art-amble

reading Wang Lu’s “Hua Shan Painting” at the Cultural Research Center

crowds dispersed, I turned into the exhibition hallfelt a little calmer, walking up the stepsinto the hill’s depths, you asked me how the literature conferencewent? let’s not talk about these things nowthe hill paths are rocky and difficult, at the end of the roadthere’s a bright view that opens up to endless pines vast clear clouds, quite beyond understandingwhy is there always someone who standardizesthe images of mountain and water, I prefer those shabby weeds, those wild branches growingout of tourists’ reacha nameless ruggedness I like the painter slandered for painting a fishing scene recluse in a temple a whole life poor and crazy because of his anger leaving behind great ink paintingshe must have made silent observations one morningof how a pomegranate showed its beautyeach stroke full of love, aware of growing painsit’s almost winter we are still strolling on the pathone shouldn’t go into the hut to socializedressed up as a scholar coming home on a tired donkeyplaying roles out of those legendsno, I don’t want to be part ofthe reproduction painting, let me avoid the welcome of the old stooping pine, if unable to escape from the network of entangled surrounds autistic blueprints of willful rocks how can one removeone’s prejudices and secret schemes?walking out, ahead of me,I look for fresh ink paintings, let usclimb higher mountains, depart from conventional symbolslet the eyes travel further with wavy peaksI once stood at the heart of a stream in the mountains

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懷着對山水的感動令我們

可以獨自走入更深的山路

在迷途時盈耳喧囂的蟲聲裏

慶幸總有抬頭可見的天空

我喜歡繼續走路，離開了

糾纏的雜影走向疏豁虛明的

煙藍的石的顏色，我也不知道

這兒是哪兒，彷彿人聲漸隱了

但知總離不開外面的牽連，在這山石屏障裏

稍立片刻，能從一塊古碑解讀一個世界嗎？

一九八八年十二月

游於藝

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looked up at a new moon hanging on a branchcarving new streaks in the red morning mistwith the passion for landscapes we can go deeper on our ownlost among insect soundsgrateful that the sky is always thereI like to go on walking, leaving behindentwined shadows, heading for the smoky blue coloursof the rock, vast and clear, I don’t know where I am, voices seem to drift awayI am aware I am always entangled with the world outside, and staying inside this rocky screen for just a few moments could one read a world from an ancient tablet?

December 1988

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可以想像我是某個明代的文人雅士？

可以想像我是某個明代的文人雅士生活在這些精緻的文玩之間？

黃花梨插肩榫翹頭案

青花蛤蟆水注

十八羅漢筆筒

整天坐這兒把玩這些難得的玩意

不必理會外面的黨爭與酷刑

閒時帶著書僮，由他抬起所有

粗重的東西，我則選擇遠眺

山野的好風光︰不是松谷撫琴

就是疏泉洗硯

風雅的友人把我細描入畫

不知怎的就在歷史中留下面容

清癯或肥胖的十八學士

看來活得不怎麼耐煩，滿肚密圈

或是面面俱圓帶著細膩的微笑

讓其他人去當反對派

絞盡腦汁去擁有珍貴的版本

或是價值不菲的綠天風雨琴

努力去表示自己

縱使有甚麼問題至少也不庸俗

總是世代的知音人

讓蓮鷺紋玉爐的

裊裊輕煙

隨著京城的耳語

撩撥散渙的眼神

把大家薰死過去

不管是否又是宰相的兒孫高中

不管誰人被放逐或抓家

專注在一塊玉

游於藝

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can I imagine myself a scholar of the Ming Dynasty?

can I imagine myself a scholar of the Ming Dynastyliving among these delicate art works?

low table of Huanghuali wood with upturned flangesblue and white porcelain water dropper with frog engravingsbrush holder carved with the eighteen disciples of the Buddha the whole day sitting here playing with these toysindifferent to political intrigues or tortures in the outside world

in my spare time, I go out with my assistantwho carries the heavy things for me, and I look farinto the vistas of the mountains: I either play the harp among pine treesor practice calligraphy in front of the waterfallan artist friend paints my portrait in great detail

somehow leaving their faces in historyeighteen scholars slim or stoutlook like they have lost patience with life, they’re full of plansor they wear pleasing smiles all the timelet the others be the insurgents

try all possible means to possess the precious copyor the priceless green rainy harpstrive to show offat least, in spite of faults, determine not to be mediocrealways a bosom friend of the ages

let the light smoke risefrom the jade furnace with the lotus patternsmixed with murmurs from the capitalplaying with half-dazed lookshypnotizing everyone

don’t care if another grandson of the minister got the first place in the national exam

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渾圓的線條

和所有的典故

想想也不容易當一個明代的雅士

慶幸重新建成的簷角和燈籠

不過是舊影投射在一幢異國的牆上

(2004年12月參觀 Musée Rath Genéve: à lómbre des pins松蔭閒情︰上海博物館藏畫展)

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don’t care who has been exiled or whose whole family arrestedconcentrating on one piece of jadethe smooth linesand all the stories behind it

it would not be easy to be a scholar of the Ming DynastyI’m thankful that the renewed eaves and the lanternsare only old shadows reflected on a foreign wall

( “In the Shade of the Pines” – Exhibition of Painting Collections from Shanghai Museum, at Rath Museum, Geneve, December 2004)

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韓熙載夜宴圖

一聲重拍令我乍然驚醒

琵琶輕攏慢撚

已然奏罷

綠腰妙曼登場

那便起身整冠

敲擊羯鼓

應和獨舞的姿勢

你或知道我每一舒展

都擺脫不了宵來的沉重

只是無謂在人前

反覆沉吟

那便點燈迎客

讓酒肴花茶曲盡

主人的美意

任五女清吹

把盞斟酒

任女伎舞四塊

大師何妨共舞十八羅漢

何妨

朗誦新詞？

累了

且坐下來聽歌伎

簫笛齊奏

隨彈唱的歌聲漫遊

拍板聲聲數落

不要光等到

晚妝殘

朱顏改

且聽樂聲悠揚

留取樽前

亮麗的舞衣

你見到狀元郎為歌姬傾倒

你見到醉後的才子

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the painting “Han Xizai’s Night Banquet”

a loud tap wakes me pipa played lightly then silencebeautiful dresses and slim waists sashay elegantly onto the stageget up to adjust the crownbeating the kakkoto the gestures of the danceryou may know each of my stretchescannot lose the weight of the nightonly that I don’t want to mumble again and again in public

light the lamp to welcome guestsdrink wine and tea, sing songsthe host’s hospitalitylet five girls play musicpour more wine let dancers dance four piecesthe master might as well dance the eighteen disciples of the Buddhamight as wellread new poetry out loud?

tiredsit down and listen to singersmusic and flageolettravel with songs and musictap rhythms on the table don’t wait untilmake-up fadesfaces agelisten to beautiful musiccherish beautiful costumesdrinking vessels before us

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意亂情迷

你見到斜墜的雲鬢

微微越軌的呼息

靦覥的畫師我看見你

躲隱在賓客之間

守禮地觀察我們的頹靡

不必逃避我注視的目光

我只不過想知道

你可曾被歌舞誘遠

擴闊你胸中畫稿

窺伺另一人內心的蹺蹊

抑或你以為畫師的責任

就是曲折附和當權的預言

逢迎城中熱門的話題

你窺伺者仍是留連

在感情的

外面？

讓我進一步試探你

以五女的纖足

巧擊小鼓

你的視線如何追隨

那些足趾與足踝

細柔隱密的轉動

你如何追隨那些

輕紗縵舞

婉轉低頭的

頸上的汗珠

你能窺探繪出一個時代的

舞者還是舞？

唉，你的解說到頭來或只提到

放縱的私慾，嗜酒猖狂

誰可為你增添畫面的視野？

可從你的筆畫裏見到卷軸外的天地

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you see a top scholar obsessed with a singeryou see a drunken scholarlost in loveyou see hair disheveledbreaths tinged with forbidden desireshy painter, I see youhiding among the guestspolitely watching our decadence

no need to evade my stareI only want to know whetheryou have ever been seduced away by a danceenlarge the painting inside the frameand look into anther person’s inner worldor do you think the duty of a painteris to side with the authority’s propheciesto follow the city’s gossipyou the observer still lingeringoutsideof all emotions?

let me give you another testlet the five girls use their feetto beat the small drumsI watch how your eyes follow those toes and anklestender and delicate movementshow you chasethe silk dresses dancingthe sweat beads on the delicate necks of lowered headscan you study and painta dancer or the dance of an epoch?

well, your explanation in the end may only includeuntamed passion, wild drinking

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朋黨亂政、禮制崩頹？

且讓我狂擊浪豉

一洩百年歷史的抑鬱

別了，盡興的客人

明白或不明白

我們在歷史中的位置

總有未償的心願

未有回報的癡情

別了，盡忠的畫家

規矩的觀察者

恐怕你終只會繪寫出

你肉眼所見的

目送你們離開我的舞台

我獨自坐在這張老椅上

護住心中沉思

無人聆聽的

絃管繼續下去

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who can broaden the vision of your painting?who can see the world beyond the brush work whereparties are corrupt and morals let loose?let me beat the drums loudlyto let out a hundred years’ depression

good-bye, satisfied guestswhether you get it or notour position in historyis always a wish unfulfilledlove unrequitedgood-bye, loyal painterobserver of rulesI fear you can only paintwhat you can seeI see you off my stagealone I sit in this old chairhiding my deep thoughtslet the tunes go onthough no one will listen

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葉老的書法

不按他們的想像

那一筆

一下子

落在

山外

無人聽見

的地方

老人家的戀愛

這一行字

默默的

離合

一晃幾十年

欲斷

欲連

沒有我們

置喙的

餘地

時代的風雨

不曾吹翻的

茅舍

野渡無人

也有人帶來

溫茶淘飯

午後

猶見簷前

點點

滴滴

胸中有佈局？

不如說是隨緣

乘興而來

順著

不是誰的

足跡

卻又到了

好似在夢中

到過的地方

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Mr. Ye’s calligraphy

not following their imaginationthat strokesuddenlyfalls out ofthe mountainand into a placewhere no one can hear

love of the elderlythis line of wordssilentlycomes and goesdozens of years goneletting gogetting closeno roomfor us to comment

the events of the timesthe never-blown-downhutno one takes the boat herebut someone has brought tea and foodafternoonfrom the eavesdrop afterdrop

is there a plot?better to say it is chancecome by impulsefollowno one’sfootstepsfinally arriving at a place possibly once visited in a dream

游城

ambletown

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我們帶着許多東西旅行

我們帶着許多東西旅行

我們帶着

昨夜的記憶

走進今天的機艙

已經飛越了汪洋

小孩背囊上的時鐘

指着香港的昨天

一個男人關上頭頂的行李格

我看見透明膠袋盛着獅頭

我聽見舞獅的鑼鼓

我們帶着種種奇怪的東西前行

我們帶着白天

來到黑夜

帶着東方來到西方，

帶着自己

來到他人

帶着你的香港照片

帶着一瓶未喝完的酒

帶着一段未分明的感情

帶着曖昧國籍的護照

不知如何的將來

突然來到新的關卡

回答突發的問題

一隻腳踏在新的邊界上

沉重的過去讓人無法舉步

在空空的四壁之間

沉重的記憶令人無法抬頭

細看窗外世界彩色的廣告牌

我們帶着許多東西旅行

在早晨帶着白粥的味道

喝一杯奇怪的綠色冷飲

帶着另一雙手的溫暖

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we travel with lots of stuff

we travel with lots of stuffcarrying yesterday’s memorieswe embark on today’s plane

over the oceanthe clock on the child’s backpackpoints to Hong Kong’s days pasta man closes the luggage compartment over his headI see a paper lion’s head in a transparent plastic bagI hear the drums of a lion dance

we move on with strange objectsbearing a bright day we come to dark nightbearing the east we arrive in the west bearing ourselves

we come to the others carrying your Hong Kong photos carrying a bottle of unfinished winecarrying an elusive romancea passport with an ambiguous nationality an unknown future

a new customs procedureunexpected questions a foot on the new borderlineunable to step forward with such a heavy paststanding between four empty wallsunable to raise the head with such heavy memoriesto study the colourful advertisements outside the windows

we travel with lots of stuffin the morning the smell of plain congee a strange cold drink, something greenholding the warmth of another pair of hands

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扶着冰冷的鐵欄

帶着一段未寫完的信

一個未說完的故事

一種要向人解釋甚麼的心情

來到一個

又一個

空的房間

我把沉重的行李擱在牆角

在窗旁看你拍攝的照片

那些舊街道既熟悉又陌生

翻開舊報紙尋找消息

香港是甚麼？

是一件沉重的行李？

我帶着你的照片來到異地

我帶着我的文字

來到你的照片

我在上邊漫游

帶着說不分明的感情

帶着逐漸形成的觀念

停駐在門邊

打開房門

新的房間改變了舊的觀念

當我提起筆來

那些舊日的街道

我們走得出去嗎？

我在一個外國導演的鏡頭裏

看見了中國的山河

我在螢幕的光影裏

聽見了一個香港的笑話

我在電傳回去的信裏

問起擠提和新建機場的爭論

香港是甚麼？

是武打片的血腥？

是一個重複的笑話？

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179

ambletown

holding the cold iron railingscarrying an unfinished letter an unfinished storyan impulse to explain somethingarriving at an empty room oneafter another

I lean my heavy luggage in a cornerlooking at your photos by the windowthose streets familiar yet strange at the same timeI look for news in old newspapers what is Hong Kong?a heavy suitcase?with your photos I come to a foreign placeI carry my wordsand come into your photosI travel in themindescribable feelingsideas taking shapeI stop at the door and open ita new room changes old ideasI take up my penthose streets of the old days but can we walk out of them?

I see rivers and mountains of Chinathrough a foreign director’s lensI catch a Hong Kong jokein the projections on the screenin an email I ponder the run on the bank and the controversial new airport what is Hong Kong?the violence in a Kung Fu movie?a repeated joke?

180

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華埠的書店裏盡是明星周刊

功夫電影的錄影帶

人們也帶着這些東西旅行

茶樓裏都是鎖鎖的廣東話

點心比過去精緻了

「香港人走到哪裏都是一樣！」

這是恭維還是批評？

我帶着問候來見朋友的親人

我說他近來氣色很好

他的家庭美滿一切正常

我望着異國的街景

我是在虛構一個香港嗎？

你的照片重疊了其他照片

樹影後的窗紗裏

浴盆裏有母親和嬰孩

少年躺在床上

四周圍繞着單車和雜物

馬里奧打開雪櫃門

盤算該吃甚麼

一個家是甚麼？

撒了一桌的砌圖游戲

餐桌上的一盆燒牛肉

早晨裏大家圍坐讀紐約時報？

桌上有昨宵留下的奶瓶和酒瓶

傍晚母親和女兒相擁坐在沙發上

背後窗玻璃上有萬聖節綠色的骷髏

我好像踏進

一個一個異國的家庭

翻過書頁

我還是在外面

我們是在用照片

虛構一個一個家嗎？

我想用眼前的景物

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a bookshop in China Town full of gossip magazinesvideos of Kung Fu moviespeople also travel with these thingstea houses buzzing with fluent Cantonese dim sum more delicate than before‘Hong Kong people are the same wherever they go!’a compliment or a criticism?I visit relatives of a friend and send his greetingsI say he looks good his family’s perfect and everything’s normalI look at the street scenes of a foreign countryam I constructing a Hong Kong?

your photos are mixed with other photosbehind curtains in the shadows of treesa mother with a child in a bathtuba young man on the bedaround him a bicycle and other stuffMario opens the fridgethinking about what to eat what is a family?a jigsaw puzzle scattered on the deskroast beef on the dining tableeveryone sitting together reading the New York Times in the morning?on the table are a milk bottle and last night’s wine bottle in the evening the mother and her daughter sitting on the sofa in each other’s armsa green Halloween skull in the window behind them

I seem to be stepping intoone foreign family after anotherturning over the pages but I’m still outside

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溶化舊日的想法

有時舊日

又要改變眼前的事物

在這暫時的住處搬動暫時的家具

陳舊的地氈

兩盞相像的燈

不知怎的就像欠了一幅編織

令事物變成一個家的種種

聲音和顏色

華埠的街道上

老婦人背着沉重的行囊

移民家庭搬過來整個貨櫃的感情

我這樣旅行

也帶着沉重的手稿

你拍了的照片

和沒拍的照片

想有一個家

沒有一個安頓

都帶着這麼多東西

這是懷念

這是詛咒

這是責任

這是多餘的重擔

這是生命

這是累贅

這是我們的快樂

這是我們的悲哀

這是前行

這是後退

這裏面有意義

這裏面盡是荒謬

這裏面有許多東西

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are we constructing familiesout of photographs?I mean to blend old days’ imageswith today’s scenerysometimes what was wants to change how things are

moving temporary furniture in this temporary abode an old carpet two identical lampssomehow something’s missing a piece of the embroideryvoices and colours things that make a family whole

streets of China Townan old woman carrying heavy luggagean immigrant family transporting a container of feelingsI travel in the same way also carrying heavy manuscriptsphotos you took and did not takelonging for a family feeling unsettledcarrying all these thingsthis is nostalgia a cursethis is responsibility a redundant weightthis is life a burdenthis is our happiness our tragedythis is moving forward moving backwardin it there is significance in it all nonsensein it a whole lot of stuff

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游城 ambletown

見雪

坐在費加羅喝一杯咖啡

抬頭突然看見窗外飄着

雪花，一下子改變了天地

冷了這麼久，忍耐了這麼久

慢慢地、慢慢地、撒落下來

有好一會，然後濃密了

下得更急了，一張白色的網

罩住了世界：一個老人

走過，短髮上沾滿雪花

每個人都帶了這新的色彩

昨天已經開始冷了

我在寒風中穿過城市

到教堂去看一場舞

或者傍晚時分去聽

一個立陶宛老詩人讀他的詩

偶爾仰首看看天空

可沒想到這嚴寒是一種醞釀

我們在不同的階段看見雪

最先是一種驚訝

然後是糾纏着愛恨的心靈

往外尋找相應的意象

現在，像是一種溫暖

寂寞中隔着玻璃感到的

廣大的微涼，好像有一種

說不出來的迎拒的味道

世界可以使明淨而不貫徹的

陽光奇怪地混和着雪的影子

我們曾在許多房間裏停留

度過暖和的下午，或者

談到深夜，然後打開門窗

突然發現，「呵，下雪了！」

一些房間容不下的東西

不知誰把它紛紛撒回人間

游城

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ambletown

seeing snow

drinking coffee at Figaro’sthen through the windows I see snow falling snowflakes, a big change in a secondcold for such a long time, patient for such a long timeslowly and lightly, it snowsfor some time, then gets heavyheavier and heavier, and it turns into a white webcovering the whole world: an old manpasses by, snow on his short haireveryone wearing this new colour

it turned cold yesterdaywe walked through the city in the cold windto a church to watch a danceor to listen to an old Lithuanian poet readhis poems in the eveningsometimes I looked up at the skyunaware that the cold was a kind of growth

we see snow at different stagesat first surprisedthen full of love and hatelooking for images to correspondnow, like a kind of warmthin loneliness through the glass a vast cold, like a taste ofunspeakable welcome or rejectionthe world can be clear and inconsistentsunlight queerly mixed with the shadows of snow

we stayed in different roomsspent warm afternoons, perhapstalking late into the night, and opening the doors and windowssuddenly discovered, ‘Oh, it is snowing!’things that some rooms cannot houseno idea who has scattered them into the human world

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滿天點點撇撇的

這些無家的

文字，這些房子

無法承載的碎屑

飄落到每個人

頭上，留在衣服上

行人帶着遠去了

然後又在眼前濃密起來

我看這桌上的杯瓶，已有的方圓

盛不了那些紛飛的片屑

它們有時向這個方向凝聚

有時又旋過身去

彷彿要把一切抹掉

它們把你我織在一個新的網裏

又會一針一線把它拆開

我們到頭來不都既有歡喜

也有恐懼嗎？想停留得久一點

心裏又總是不要記牢那些

不同尋常的溫柔的接觸

怕它會把你傷害

坐在窗前看突然落下的雪

想自己未穿夠禦寒的衣服呢

漫天飄散的手勢

婉轉地搖晃着掌

長久以後也會緩緩舒開

叢叢旋入內心的世界

或者無盡地向外投射

紛紛抹滿了天

我們一定在不同的時間細看過

這雪：不固定的形狀

帶着溫柔的心、兇猛的

激情、有時一瞬間把上一瞬間

安頓好的比喻徹底否定，有時

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falling flakes everywherethese homelesswords, sherdsthese rooms cannot bearland on everyone’s head, staying on the clothesof people traveling

then it thickens in front of my eyesI look at the cups and bottles on the desk, some placescannot hold those dancing flakesthey sometimes gather in this directionsometimes turn aroundas though wanting to erase everythingthey knit you and me together on a new weband later undo it stitch by stitch

won’t we all have had joy andfear in the end? longing to stay a little longerbut unwilling to remember thoseextraordinary gentle touchesfor fear they hurt yousitting in front of the window to watch the sudden fallrealizing I am not wearing enough warm clothes for this weathergestures roaming in the airhands waving tenderlyin the long run will open up slowlyin bundles they swirl into the inner worldor endlessly project onto the outsidetogether they clothe the sky

we must have observed this snow at different times: in various formswith a gentle heart, violent passion sometimes it denies completely a metaphor settledthe moment before, sometimes with a heart wide-opened

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又會帶着希望包容一切的寬大的

心，那連着我們的昨天的

經驗，超出明天的期待的

那些我們見過

或未見過的事物

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ambletown

ready to accept everything, even those of our yesterdays’experience, beyond tomorrow’s expectationsthose things we haveor have not seen

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冬日往柏林以北松林湖畔

冬日駕車往柏林以北松林湖區

老媽媽想看六十年前渡夏的地方

汽車愈是駛近北方的冰雪

我們愈是接近她的少年

一個來自俄國的女子

還未遇上一個德國的青年

青嫩的湖水裏有甚麼光影

召喚這年輕的靈魂？

汽車駛離城市的高架公路

經過荒涼的空地來到市鎮

後來一個國家分成兩半

規劃出她不認識的建設

六十年未回來的老媽媽

不能忍受綠林變成水泥

然後剩下一片剝落，她跟我們保證

過去的一切並不是這麼平庸

我們不知你能否尋回過去

汽車轉入兩旁種滿樹木的林蔭道

年老的父親說這不叫「小徑」

年輕一代現在都不知道小徑和林蔭道

德文裏這些字眼的含義有甚麼分別了

貝亞提也是對文字敏感的呀，她積極

分辨各種過去運用得更細緻的詞彙

好了，貝亞提是一個懂得分別的翻譯家

但可是我們又該如何翻譯時間？

羅拔在抵達後將會發覺遺失了車匙

貝亞提會在雪地上不斷抽煙

兩老自顧自走向更遠的雪林

留下我們在這兒摸索

你們曾經摸索過的

我們或許也將失去

你們失去過的

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to a pine forest lake north of Berlin on a winter’s day

on a winter’s day we drove to the lake north of Berlinma wanted to see the resort where she spent a summer sixty years beforegetting nearer to the northern snowwe were drawing closer to her youtha girl from Russiahad not met a German boy yetwere there some shimmers in the green lake calling to this young soul?

the car left the high fly-overs of the citythrough desolation reached the town then a country split in two halvesarchitecture unknown to herfor sixty years she’d not been backcould not bear to see the greenery lost to concreteand now only rubble was left, she promised usnothing had been so mediocre in the former times

we don’t know if you can find the pastthe car turning into a boulevard with trees on both sidespa says this is not called ‘path’the young cannot tell the difference any more between words like path and boulevard in GermanBeate is sensitive to language, she pays a lot of attention to words that were used more delicately in the pastwell, Beate is a translator who can tell the difference

but how should we translate time?Robert will find he has lost the car keys when we arriveBeate will smoke nonstop in the snowthe two old people walk on their own deeper into snowy woodsleaving us to explorewhat you once exploredwe might also losewhat you once lost

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尋回你們尋到的夏日喇叭的高音？

青蔥綠草的愛情與表親的游戲

拔尖昇上林梢高處那是甚麼？

躍躍的翅膀期待滿月的飛行

到頭來超越紙鳶與羣燕的共舞？

我們春天的血如樹液往高處輸送

接觸另一幅肌膚體會氣溫的冷暖

草原與湖畔接壤處的乾濕

我們沿着雪地點數

上天給予我們閃爍的珠寶

不覺來到林木的盡頭

那起伏的是墳丘還是嬰兒的被褥？

你認得那湖水伸展的形狀

與你曾是最初的波濤

如今我們瑟縮在結冰的藍色邊緣

未能踏足試探它的軟硬深淺

我們將要去到一所古老的酒店

建於世紀爛漫的童年

賓客紀念冊上有天真的話語

押韻的詩行無法道盡日後的辛酸

橡木的裝璜主持着聖嬰降臨的佳慶

一晃又已經是一個世紀

天使的翅膀軋一下劃過迷亂的燈色

紅了老媽媽的眼睛

裹在寒衣裏是當年的少女曾經繪畫

一張浮世繪風味的花卉

那是戰爭以前的日子

那時夏日的陽光爛漫

那時還未知日後花蕾開出灰暗

房子會陷落成為廢墟

又再建起平庸的住宅

汽車老在林蔭道上前行

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where’s the treble of the summer trumpet you once heard?love on the green grass and games with cousinswhat was it that flew to the top of the trees?flapping wings expecting to reach the full moonand in the end overtaking kites to dance among birds?our spring blood travels upwards like the sap of treestouch another’s body and skin to feel the air’s cold and warmth the drought and the damp between meadows and lake

in the snowfields we countthe glistening jewels the world above has given usat the end of the woodsthose waves – are they tombs or cover for an infant? you recognize the stretch of the lakethe first waves for you at one timenow we quiver at the edge of the frozen blueunable to step in to explore its texture or depth

we’re going to an ancient hotelbuilt in the era of a flowering childhoodinnocent lines in the guest bookrhymes cannot tell the sufferings of the days to comeoak frames hold the celebration of Christ’s birthat a glimpse another century has goneangels flap their wings through shivering lights reddening an old woman’s eyes

wrapped in the warm clothes is a young girl paintingan ukiyo-e flower at a certain time before the warwhen the summer sun shone beautifullywhen no one knew the buds would bloom into grey houses would tumble into ruinshabby apartments would be built on the groundcars always run on the boulevards

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汽車離開柏林駛出郊外

駛過半個世紀的毀滅與重建

六十年未回來的老媽媽

不能忍受眼前的平庸

過去不是這樣的，你向我們保證

再往前駛會尋回夏日的青蔥

汽車一直向北行駛

時間的輪子沒有停頓

一九九八年十二月

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our car leaves Berlin for the suburbspassing through half a century’s destruction and reconstructionma, who has not been back for sixty yearscan’t bear the averaging before her eyesit was not like that before, you promise usdriving on into the green of summerthe car keeps northtime’s wheels never pause

December 1998

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柏林初雪

醒來就發覺開始下雪了

對街有了一個白色的屋頂

街角有零星的白色

守候着

我望着我寄居的窗——

從最初滿窗的綠葉

逐漸轉變黃棕的顏色

到一片特別明亮的天空

枝頭一下子落光了葉子——

真的，也來了許久了

天井對面還有帷幕深垂的房間

但我想我已了解冬天的秘密

偶然遠風送來蟲蝶屍骸的甜味

我已沒有夏天的胃口

深夜有人自雪地瑟縮歸來

迎着歪斜的白色路燈尋路

不顧嘿嘿怪笑，踩出自己的腳印

無盡頭的白色的路上

開走的汽車留下一幅黑色印跡

沒多久，又被白色塗沒

那白色是覆在落盡葉子的窗外嗎?還是在我身上？

偶然煙突上一縷白煙

偶然來往的車輛閃過

疏落的林木

伸向更遼廓的天空

滿眼白茫茫中

獨飛的黑鳥飛過

不肯輕易棲息光禿的枝頭

且待看早晨的陽光再與陰影嬉戲

一九九八年十一至十二月

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first snow in Berlin

waking up to find it’s snowinga white roof across the streeta touch of white in the cornerswaitingI look out from my dwelling –leaves all over the window, green at first

slowly turning yellow brownthen an exceptionally bright skyon the branches all the leaves have gone –really, I’ve been here for a while

across the terrace rooms with closed curtains stillbut I think I already understand the secrets of the winterin the wind occasional sweet smell of dead insects and flies from afarI don’t have any appetite for a summerat midnight someone trots back shivering in the snowfinding his way among white slanting street lampsgiggling strangely to himself, he stamps on his own footprintsendless white roadscars leaving black trailssoon to be covered again by the white

does the white spread over the leafless window?or over my body?once in a while a white film of smoke rises over smokeonce in a while the glint of cars passingscattered treesstretch themselves towards vaster skiesin all this whiteone black bird glidingunwilling to perch on leafless brancheslet’s wait and watch the morning light play with the shades again

November to December 1998

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柏林的地址：Storkwinkel 12

我們分享了共同的地址

不同時間同棲於異國的園圃

到頭來終於結出不同的花果

我們如何闡釋悲劇？

我以戲謔自嘲，你以利器自戕

割斷自己和世界的關連，但我時在他人水鏡中

看見你的花月，我們也不是不可能變成你

戴上同樣的高冠，內心變成不可言說的

一片泥濘，那片花園也許永遠不會

在我們的視野中展現，如何選擇？

招展成為風的寵兒、還是做

絲絲永遠落魄的棄絮？

我聽見你走下樓梯，你聽不見

我走上來，一個無形的人，有異於

你響亮的異行，我嘗試在四周喧嘩中

說出自己而無法僅是自己

更痛地知道已經切斷了共識的脈胳

當我在深夜書寫，獨對幾盞燈

知道也有你埋首在閣樓的某處

徒勞地打碎字辭，你永遠

看不見我，我看見你

當我進入另一種文脈，走進另一個

陌生的房間，那被誘變成怪異的自己

面孔上掛着你的眼睛

你並不特別童話，我們也不就是商賈的賬頁

我避免硃砂筆激情如血的評點，耀眼的

修辭，我知道我們永遠不可能成為別人的

代言人，儘管我們也曾希望通過你

尋見其他，但我更看到彼此不同的葉脈

不要嘲笑我們的成長裏缺乏血祭與鬥爭

太容易誇耀那樣的履歷，受壓的弱枝可變

奪命的閻王！在邊緣我看到失去故事的女子

死去了再死去一次，當神話的傳播與建構

參與經營殘酷，矯情與謊言強把個人回歸了

種種家園，飄泊的異葉需要更大堅毅去抗拒

歧異被收編，變成可接受的一葉浪漫傳奇

一九九八年十二月十八日，Storkwinkel 12

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a Berlin address: Storkwinkel 12for Gu Cheng

we shared the same addressin the same garden overseas at different timesto different ends in the end how did we interpret tragedies?I mocked myself with ironies while you hurt yourself with knife and axecutting our connection with the world, but I often see your facein others’ reflections, it is not impossible for us to become you the same tall hat, the heart something of namelessslush, that stretch of flower bed may never appearto us, how to choose?to be the glamorous pet of the wind, or abandoned leaf forever roaming?

I hear you run down the stairs, but you can’t hear me climb, imageless, unlikeyour loud act, I try to speak out in the hubbub but can’t help being more than I ammore painful to know the common context has been shatteredwhen I write in the night, alone under a few lampsknowing you once buried your head somewhere in the atticbreaking words in vain, you never see me, I see youwhen I enter another world of words, entering anotherstrange room, tempted to act weirdly with the face bearing your eyes

you are not particularly a fairytale, we are not merely business accounts I turn away from lines written in blood red strokes or blinding rhetoric, I know we can never be spokespersons for others, though we once hoped to find the way to other worldsthrough you, but I see the different paths we followdon’t laugh at our youth that lacked blood and battletoo easy to boast of wounds and scars, weak branches could grow intoa fatal tyrant stem! at the edge I see a girl who has lost her storydie again and again, when the spreading and the making of the mythaids in the business of cruelty, then hypocrisy and lies force the individual to return

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to the homeland, and roaming leaves in exile need more perseverance to resistthe coercion to tame differences, to become legends acceptable for romance

18 December, 1998

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變化的房子

一個知道房子會逐漸變化的人

在屋簷四角鑿了個洞，等下雨時

在房子四角穿過流動的

水柱，支撐水泥房子

他開鑿了更多的窗戶

為了引入綠色的草原到肘旁

同時又總準備了精緻的雕花窗格

擋去甚麼，比方陌生而狂野的目光

因為自然無盡的可能也會傷害我們？到了今天

房子的牆壁剝落，水泥地被

水柱滴穿，陷落成一灘灘窪地

你說這不也是變化的一部分？

那你也得接受人們改變秩序，擺亂

優雅的家具，引入平庸的擺設？

富有的紡織廠破產了，和諧的

夫妻反目，美滿家庭破碎了

房子數度易手換上不同的主人

變成神學院宿舍，默默吃早餐的神學生

後來又換成學校辦事處拘謹的職員

驚訝地看着：成羣大學生湧進來

打破了門窗，叫嚷着

要推翻官僚機構的陰謀

革命的豪情比天高……

然後一切又再回復靜默

房間的建構把你從一個空間引向

另一個空間，誰在將來的時間裏

在寬大的客廳（壁櫃和地板換過了）

款待朋友，誰在飯廳高背的椅上

（真不舒服！）端坐用餐？（不僅是政治，

禮儀也變化了！）誰在精細安排的太陽

月亮和星星的光線下，細心觀賞

原來的設計？這裏添上一點甚麼

那裏失去一點甚麼。總會有人站在一扇

紅色的牆邊，追溯那原來的花紋

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a house keeps changing

a person who knows the house changes graduallychisels holes on the eaves of the four corners waiting for the rainto roll down in columns to support the concrete househe has built more windowsto invite green meadows has carved exquisitely on the framesto block out things, like strange wild lookscould nature in its endless possibilities hurt us? todaythe walls of the house are peeling off, concrete floorsworn by the water columns, falling into puddlesyou might say, is it also part of the change?

then must you also accept that people change order, disturbthe elegant furniture, allow mediocre details?prosperous textile factories go bankrupt, a loving marriageturns sour, a broken family no longer happythe house has changed hands and tenantsonce a dormitory of the seminary, theology students silently having breakfastnow changed into rigid-looking staff of academic officeswatching in shock: a mob of students rushing insmashing doors and windows, shoutingto overthrow the conspiring bureaucratic institutionsrevolutionary passion higher than the sky…then everything returns to silence

the layout of the rooms leads you from one space into another, who will in the futureentertain friends in the spacious sitting-room(with newly installed cupboards and floors)? who will eat in the high-backed chair (how uncomfortable!) in the dining-room? (not only the politics,but also the manners have changed!) who will look carefullyat the original designs in the light carefully arranged from the sun, the moon and the stars? what has been added

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是的，多可惜，再沒有一家人圍坐

聽孩子彈琴，跟着下來會更冷了

變化的房子不知要怎樣度過莫測的冬天

一九九一年夏在芝加哥看Frank Lloyd Wright 建築的房子有感

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what has been lost, always someone standing in the red wall’s corner, referring to the original patterns yes, what a pity, no more families sitting togetherto listen to children playing the piano and then it will get coldera changing house does not know how to spend a fickle winter

after a visit at Frank Lloyd Wright’s house in Chicago in the summer of 1991

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釀酒的山谷

我們沿着海岸線旅行

終於來到這樣一個地方

谷地裏有陽光

和風吹過樹蔭

只欠雨了，再來幾個星期的雨

葡萄就會成熟，變得沉重

然後有一天終於離開枝頭

掙脫果皮，在揉壓下濺射

流出豐美的汁液

儲藏在厚重的大桶中

陰涼的地窖裏

在日夜的交遞中等待

從激越逐步變成深醇

是需要經過那麼長久的醞釀

釀酒人從故鄉帶來他的配方

尋找一塊沃美的土壤

有上好的種籽，還得看地勢

看陽光溫和的烘照、雨的滋潤

從驕橫的抽長，風華正茂的日子

轉入陰涼靜寂的時辰

潛藏關收然後再度開放

那機緣的配合，可遇不可求

還得有那麼溫柔的手，周到而

體貼的心，照顧令事物成熟

說起八六年的佳釀，不光是

運氣，還有那麼多的期待和辛勞

朋友，我在充滿陽光的山谷

品嚐美酒，我想跟你說

我們該把孩子們帶來

讓他們看：葡萄是如何成熟的

光有良好的種籽還不夠

還得看泥土，溫暖的陽光

和風與充沛的雨水

還得要辛勤的修剪和除蟲

還得要那麼多別的東西

一九九一年夏路過加州

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wine valley

we travel along the coastfinally get to the placethere is sunlight in the valleybreezes over trees and shadowsnow there is need for rain, rain for weeksthen the grapes would be ripe, heavier and heavierone day they will leave the branchesget out of their skins, splash under pressureand let flow sweet juicestored in big heavy barrelsin cool cellarschange patiently through days and nightsfrom acidity to rich purityall this requires such a long fermentationthe vigneron has come back with recipes from his hometownlooking for a fertile stretch of soilbest seeds and best topographywarmth from mild sunlight, moisture from the rainluxuriant growth, glamorous dayscool silenceto hide in solitude and to reach out againcoincidence and chance cannot be plannedgentle hands are also needed, a thoughtfuland a caring heart, good care helps things to ripena good ’86 vintage was notjust luck, but also a lot of hope and hard workfriend, in the valley of sunshine I taste good wine, I want to tell youwe should have brought our children with uslet them see how grapes become ripegood seeds alone are not enoughmuch depends on good soil, warm sunlightgentle breezes, plenty of raindiligent trimming, pest controland many things more

passing by California in the summer of 1991

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家用的器皿

一張先人留下的椅子

讓你一日工作之餘坐下休息

你抬着它到處去

與族人圍成一圈喝酒

一個葫蘆瓜造的杯子

盛着梅子造的酒

醉了就有一截樹枝造的枕頭

托着你的腦袋

讓你安然進入夢鄉

大的匙羹用來煮菜

小的匙羹用來喝湯

攪拌燙熱的食物

在冬天令我們溫暖

煙斗有人體的形狀

煙絲在身體裏燃燒絲絲嗚叫

噴出的煙圈凝成想像的頭顱

芳香飄揚在營幕裏

她從頭上卸下木梳

熨帖着她的頭髮的木梳

上面有綹綹纏綿

摩挲一個葫蘆瓜

逐漸在時間裏發出光澤

愛撫一截樹幹

直至那裏露出野獸的嘴巴和四肢

吮乾淨骨頭洗刷又曬乾

線絞着線編成繩子，石頭敲鑿

石頭，直至它們有心想的樣貌

就是這雙手撿拾渾噩的材料給予形式

經營家用的器皿承載了家裏的人

一九九一年冬在華盛頓博物館看非洲民俗用品展覽有感

游城

209

ambletown

household articles

a chair handed down from ancestorsfor you to rest in after a day’s workyou go about carrying itand drink with your tribe members in a circlea cup made from a gourdholding wine brewed from plumsa pillow made from tree branches for your head when you’re drunkto let you step peacefully into your dreams

a big spoon for cookinga small spoon for drinking soupfor stirring hot foodto keep us warm in wintera pipe in the shape of a human bodytobacco burns noisily in theresmoke rings exhaled like skulls in our imaginationfragrance wafts inside the tentshe lets fall from her head a comb the wooden comb close to her hairrolls of silk in it

stroke a gourdit glows with time’s passagecaress a tree’s branchuntil there appear the mouth and limbs of a beast bones sucked clean, cleansed and dried in the sunthread twisting thread makes a rope, rock knockingrock, until they bear desired looksthese two hands pick up clueless materials, give them shapeshandle household articles and keep a family whole

written after an exhibition of African folk household articles in Washington in the winter of 1991

210

游城 ambletown

後現代房子

在破舊的紅磚牆上開一個新的窗口

可以望見天花板的腳步聲，下水道裏

鳥兒飛往遠處：一道古羅馬拱門

框住一扇繪畫熱狗和薯條的大牆

運河呢，是人工造出來，那鴨子大概也可以

我仍然希望相信人文的屋宇，但四時侵蝕

剝落亦復不少，如何可以有些甚麼東西

維繫一切？前門破了、門鉸鬆脫

客廳崇山峻嶺各有各的走向

你在深谷裏迷失，有時仰首看見瀑布每日的窗簾

一道巨大的拉鍊也無法把兩邊牆壁連起來

我不知道你想在這裏面做甚麼

要超越？太高了，腳步着地

太熱的時候不如開窗讓外面的清風

和市聲進來調整清高的心靈

沒有炊煙，但有準時的電視劇和裸女廣告

你說這吵鬧破碎如何可以讓朋友安坐談天

做飯和工作、讓孩子好好做功課？

在屋外流放的身心怎能在屋內找到安頓？

站在門檻邊面對打亂了裏裏外外不知怎辦

四壁不再囚你裂縫和塗鴉成了今天的故事

我不相信高入雲霄就是我們的莊嚴

各部份符合比例就可以建構痛苦的美學

但我也不願意我們只是游戲

到處留情在所有門上都打上交叉

不能再安坐家中火爐旁細讀晚報

但又是否隨街放火才算好漢

一個人胸口的痛楚很難請另一個人安慰

男男女女被屋外的引誘放棄了枱燈

失憶的人突然發現了自己做過種種奇怪的事情

背棄了別人又再背棄自己

我們也希望和諧卻被迫去

面對破碎，壁櫃裏燃起戰火粉碎了庭院

斷續的槍聲從浴室傳來鏡子破了

重圓又半蝕你看不見自己的臉孔怎樣變化

難民潮湧往鄰家我聽見他咆哮

游城

211

ambletown

postmodern houses

put a new window in the broken red brick wallfootsteps can be seen on the ceiling, in the drainagebirds fly far away: an ancient Roman archframes a wall of paintings of hotdogs and French friesthe canal is man-made and the ducks may also beI still hope to believe in humane houses but the four seasons erodethey have peeled off a lot, how to find something to hold together everything? the front door broken, hinge gone offmounts and peaks in the sitting-room run their separate wayslost in the deep valley you sometimes look up and see daily curtains of a waterfalleven a huge zipper could not pull together the walls on the two sidesI don’t know what you want to do insideto transcend? too high, feet above the groundwhen it is too hot you might as well open the windows to let in a breezeand city sounds to adjust your righteous heartno chimney smoke, but punctual TV series and commercials showing naked girlsyou say with all this noise and wreckage how can you let friends sit in peace for a chat cook and work, or let children do their homework?how can a soul in exile outside the house find peace inside?standing in the doorway not knowing what to do with all this messthe four walls don’t imprison you anymore, cracks and graffiti have become today’s storyI don’t believe being high in the clouds is our dignityeach part having the right proportions can be built into a painful aestheticsI refuse to accept that we are only playing gamesleaving love everywhere, on each door a cross drawndifficult to read evening papers by the fire in peacebut must we go out and set fire to everything

212

游城 ambletown

說踐踏了他的花園吃光了他的儲糧

海鷗和燕子變成了人質動不動又會棄屍

汪洋大海這一切到底是甚麽回事誰來迫使

我們毀滅我們建設我們安頓又再拋棄

沒有樑木莊重的圓頂只有許多變幻的空間

游城

213

ambletown

in order to be called macho?one’s pain in the chest is not for another one to easemen and women give up table lamps in exchange for temptations outsideamnesiacs suddenly discover the strange things they have donehaving betrayed themselves as well as the otherswe wish for harmony but are forced toface wrecks, a fire in the cupboard has destroyed the court-yardintermittent gunshots from the bathroom where the mirror is brokenwith the wax and wane of the moon you can’t see how your own face has changedthe refugee wave flooded my neighbour I hear him roar saying they have destroyed his garden and eaten up all his stockgulls and sparrows have become hostages and they easily give up the corpsesall goes into the big ocean and who is it that forcesour destruction our construction our peace our abandonmentno central columns no dignified dome but a lot of changing space

214

游城 ambletown

怪房子

我仍然到處在找房子，我不知怎

的會遇到你這樣一個古怪的建築師，長

八字鬍的先生，你喜歡給房子開玩笑？

你是個惡作劇的室內設計師，喜歡在寬

敞的四壁間打筋斗？

我的搞裝置藝術的朋友，昨天正

埋怨這個小島沒有足夠的空間，每次搞

裝置只好在現場裝搭，展覽完了又再拆

散。我們的從事搬運的朋友忙得透不過

氣，每天來回為一次又一次感到不滿的

人尋找更好的居所。

不，不僅是這樣。空間的問題不

在於狹小或髒亂。不，不是像你想像那

樣，而是其中脆弱易變的成分。

一窩螞蟻的展覽因為外來的蟑螂

評判而亂了陣腳，蜘蛛感情用事地宣佈

要向今季意大利時裝效忠，飛蛾繼續一

頭撞向牠們唯一的光明。樓上的大錘不

斷砰砰地拆牆，震得人心煩意亂。所有

的玻璃身不由己地渾身顫抖，在這個或

那個角落回應着嗡嗡的冷言冷語。

更多暴戾的言談、更多偏側的態

度。我們閒坐的安樂椅不知搬到哪裏去

了，我們一起圍坐吃飯喝酒的餐桌砍了

當柴燒，休憩的寢室變成人來人往的市

場。是從甚麼時候開始，我們在自己的

家鄉變成了陌生人？

游城

215

ambletown

a strange house

I am still looking for a house, and I don’t know how I met you, a weird architect with a moustache. Do you like playing jokes on houses? Are you a naughty interior designer, having a passion to do somersaults in a spacious room?

An artist friend who does installations, just complained to me yesterday that there is not enough space on this small island. He constructs his works on the spot and has to pull down everything after an exhibition. Our transportation friends are always very busy helping dissatisfied people to find better homes.

No, not only that. The problem with space is not about cramped or messy environment. No, it’s not what you think; it’s more about fragility and unpredictability.

An exhibition by a swarm of ants is being disturbed by foreign cockroach judges. Spiders declare emotionally they should follow this season’s Italian fashions; and moths go on crashing into their one and only light. On the upper floor they can’t stop banging on the walls with big hammers to pull them down, the quake raving in everyone’s mind. All the glasses can’t help shivering, in response to cold mumbling remarks here and there.

More violent talk, more biased attitudes. Nowhere to be found the rocking chair we used to spend our free time in. The table around which we had dinner and drinks was cut into pieces and burnt as firewood; the bedroom for rest is now a busy marketplace. When exactly, did we start to be strangers in our own hometown?

216

游城 ambletown

翻譯土耳其菜

關於安哥拉我們知道多少？

在這夜半的土耳其

把石牆的浮雕與茄子磨成醬

大塊圓麵包是我們的想像

蘸入昨天材料做成今日的海鮮

在內臟的濃湯裏加入酸醋

這些異國的味道總會挑戰

我們習慣的字彙與修辭

怎樣翻譯這個古怪的菜名？

可是土耳其的佛跳牆？

乳酪醬煮羊肉令菩薩也坐不穩？

我們如何可以跳進一窩熱湯

撈出那些已溶化的美味的骨頭

給一個缺席的食客翻譯

留在口腔的滋味？似曾相識的前菜

並不喜歡你用異國的名字去喚它

把祖母的香料和醃菜搬過大洋

烹飪時會不會覺得變了味道？

若果來自不同省份的糕點甜品堅持

移民也不會改變它們的髮型和鼻子

你的字典裏可有容它的家居？

尋找一盤釀橄欖的歷史，你找到

更多其他拖男帶女的親戚

這一盤與另一盤文字同擺在櫃枱

那些過去的作者還在冷盤間挑選

新廚師在菜譜上加添幾枚辣椒

一種蔬菜留傳許多個家庭的習俗

新來的眼睛不見得可以把它洗滌乾淨？

慢慢旋轉的肉柱上消瘦了年輪

是的，文字也會變化與磨損

黑咖啡的笑容與千層餅押韻

你夾帶把神秘的經文偷帶過海關

一九九九年二月

游城

217

ambletown

translating Turkish dishes

how much do we know about Angola?in midnight’s Turkeygrind eggplants and reliefs on the stone wall into a pastea big round pancake is our imaginationmix yesterday’s ingredients to bring out today’s freshnessadd some vinegar in a soup of innardsthese exotic tastes always challengeour accustomed vocabulary and rhetoric

how to translate this weird dish?the Turkish version of Buddha Jumping over the Wall?can even a Bodhisattva resist the temptation of mutton in a yoghurt sauce?how can we jump into a hot souphaul up those softened delicious bonesand explain to an absent guestthe taste still lingering in the mouth? a familiar appetizer does not like to have a name that comes from a foreign world

grandma’s spices and preserved pickles from over the ocean – will they lose the original flavour in the course of cooking?if desserts and snacks from different regions insistimmigrants won’t change their hairdos or noses can you find a home for them in your dictionary?looking for the history of a bowl of preserved olives, you find more relatives of this and thatthis bowl and that bowl of expressions sitting on the same counter

writers from the old days are still choosing among cold dishesnew cooks add a few peppers to the recipea vegetable hands down customs of many a familycan new eyes really wash it clean?meat slowly rotating sheds its rings of lifeyes, words can be changed and wornblack coffee’s smile rhymes with mille-feuillesyou smuggle mysterious scriptures through customs

February 1999

游魂

ghost drift

220

游魂 ghost drift

菊精

我舉杯敬你

你老是不醉

你清秀的眉目看見

一個更遼闊的世界

我在尋找佳本與異種

你說沒有不好的蓓蕾

只看怎樣培植和灌溉

你到底是誰？

你住進我的南院

撿我拔棄的殘花

把庸枝種成異品

我以黃花為清雅

你販花卻並不愴俗

你一再改變我的想法

你的神秘我無從譏訝

你到底是誰？

我舉杯敬你

你老是不醉

我愛你喝得痛快

我愛你活得暢快

讓我親近你磊落的胸懷

你來了你走了你摔倒了

怎麼只剩地上一堆衣裳？

你化為拔高的菊的形相

你到底是誰？

你有我嚮往的形狀

你枯絕了又再茁狀

我願從今日夜灌溉你

守候你結出酒香的花蕾

說不盡的話在我心裏

飲不盡的就用來澆你

你永遠都不醉

改寫自<黃英>

游魂

221

ghost drift

the chrysanthemum fairy

I hold my cup and toast youyou’ll never get drunkyour limpid eyessee a vaster worldI was seeking good species and rare seedsyou said bad buds didn’t existit’s how I would feed and water it that would matterwho are you?

you moved into my south yardpicked up withered flowers that I’d plucked and thrown aboutcultivated common ones – they became rare blossomsI deemed yellow ones elegantyou’re not chintzy despite being a flower vendoryou changed my mind time and againI didn’t even know how to start to be surprisedwho are you?

I hold up my cup to toast youyou’ll never get drunkI love to see you boozing it upI love your living it uplet me approach your liberal mindyou came and left and stumbledwhy did you leave behind a stack of clothes?you transformed into an uptilted chrysanthemum

who are you?you had the form that I’d been afteryou withered and again you bloomedstarting from tonight I’m resigned to water youand guard your buds that bear the fragrance of winewords unbounded in my heart, I want to speak to youwine’s inexhaustible, I’ll water youyou will never get drunk

(rewritten from the ‘Huang Ying, the Chrysanthemum Fairy’ episode in

Strange Tales from the Liao Study)

222

游魂 ghost drift

葛巾

我識你在二月

牡丹未華的時候

我看著初發的嫩芽

寫出了詩句中的未來

我與你的相遇是重重驚訝

彷如飲鴆而寬舒，魂飛魄散了

再重活過來，擁抱熾烈的肌膚

燙熱的葛紫與玉白令我忘記了今天

歡愉的日子我忍不住想知道根源

看見簷高的魅魎疑你是異種的花妖

彼此相愛而相信，猜疑帶來更多猜疑

昨天累積的疑慮回到我們之間

我看見你的臉孔變了顏色，把我們的愛

帶怒擲死在地上，日夜的相愛和期望刹那化灰。只剩日後墮地處生出紫白的

牡丹，碩大而繁碎一如我們的愛情

改寫自<葛巾>

游魂

223

ghost drift

Ge Jin, the peony fairy

I knew you in Februarywhen peonies were yet to blossomgazing at the new budsI wrote down the future in a poem

our encounter was surprising on many levelsas if drinking poison and feeling relieved, the soul goneand revived, embracing searing skinthe hot purple and white made me forget today

happy days, I couldn’t help asking whypeering at the ghost tall as the roof, suspecting you were a flower spiritlove begot trust, while suspicion gave birth to more of the sameyesterday’s suspicion kept coming between us

I saw your face change, cast our love to the groundand it was dead, love and hope day and nightturned to ashes in a moment. Purple and white peoniesgrew from the ground, gigantic and flourishing just like our love

(rewritten from the ‘Ge Jin, The Peony Fairy’ episode in Strange Tales from the Liao Study)

224

游魂 ghost drift

鴿情

不過是個漂泊的人吧了

請不必追問我的姓名

相逢在黑夜與黎明的邊界

看見你燦若雲錦的蓄養

我也讓你一見我的所愛

你看月下這大小兩頭鴿子

彼此婉轉呼引，這小的

上下飛鳴，聲細碎如搖鼓

卻引得那大的伸頸不敢動

凝神彷彿聆聽神秘的訊息

聲音變得像古磬，愈鳴愈急

愈鳴愈急，卻是兩兩相和

兩兩相知，那裏有無盡的往來

一頭飛去了另一頭不禁顛倒引呼

顛倒引呼，有無盡的迎拒與翻騰

我認識許多情態，你看了只想擁有

那些多采的姿勢？不要再向我討求

我無所有亦可以餽贈，但你肯定

你懂得怎樣珍惜那些純白的羽毛

通透的雙眼和晶瑩的臟腑？時間

孕育看不見的情意。一個人能看見

美好的事物總會動心，但我們的飛翔

不是一種奇技，感情難變蓄賞的玩意

再見了，當我迴身化成一片白色

飛鳴而去，請不必追問我的姓名

改寫自<鴿異>

游魂

225

ghost drift

love with pigeons

just a stranger adriftno need to ask me my namewe meet between the dark and the dawnsee the one you rear shine like white cloudI’d show you mine as well

appreciating these two pigeons in the moonthey lure and sing to each other, the small onebawling and jumping up and down, its crylike a hand rattle, entices the big onewhose neck is stretched out still, as if heeding mythic messages

the sound shifts, like old zithers, faster and faster, but these two’s chirpings harmonisemutually intelligible, an endless to and fro one flies to the side, the other can’t help crying upside downcrying upside down, the struggle between them goes on unabated

I’ve known emotions and demeanors, when you see themyou only want to get into those postures? Don’t beg me for what I can’t give, but are you sure you know how to cherish such pure white feathers,the pair of transparent eyes, the crystalline organs? Time

is nurturing invisible sentiments. Seeing beautyone would be aroused, but our flightis not a peculiar art, affections can’t be playthingsfarewell, when I turn around, become a wing of whitecrying and flying away, no need to ask for my name

(rewritten from the ‘The One Obsessed with Pigeons’ episode

in Strange Tales from the Liao Study)

226

游魂 ghost drift

蟋蟀

爸爸，請不要再對我生氣了

你們也不用到處去尋找我了

兒子要化身成一頭促織

來報答父母養育的恩勞

兒子蠢若木雞靜伏不動

卻會張尾伸鬚拚鬥龐然的敵人

在那些覆過來的手掌底下

我會變得虛若無物

在那些舉起的手掌之下

我又再超忽跳躍

我學會在公雞的爪啄底下逃生

我學會跳上雞冠騰擊反敗為勝

每臨琴瑟之聲應節而舞也沒有甚麼

為上官帶來名馬衣緞的賞賜也沒有甚麼

我本來是不懂廝殺的

我本來也不喜歡生活在籠裏

我明白你們要湊夠樹木向上進貢

就讓我做你們的蟋蟀吧

你們也不過是要應付上官的嚴限

就讓我做你們的蟋蟀吧

不要為我哭泣不用為我悲傷

我不會怪你們你們又你們的難處

我知道你們頭上也有覆過來的巨掌

我知道你們也要面對鋒利的爪啄

改寫自<促織>

游魂

227

ghost drift

the cricket

father, please don’t be mad at meno need to look for me any longer

your son is becoming a cricketto repay you for raising me

your son crouches down, still like a wooden chickenbut spreading his tail and tentacles, fighting with giant enemies

I’ll be nothingunder the coming hand

I’ll leapwhen the hand’s held up

I learn to escape from cocks’ beak and clawand leap to their combs to win the fight by surprise

it’s fine to dance festively with zithers and pipes fine to bring officials famous horses and precious silks

I don’t know how to fightI don’t like living in a cage

but I understand you have to pay more tributesso let me be your cricket

anyway you have to pay off difficult foremen let me be your cricket

don’t be sad and don’t weep for meI don’t blame you. You have your own troubles

I know giant hands are slapping you tooand you have to stand against sharp beaks and claws

(rewritten from the ‘A Cricket’ episode in Strange Tales from the Liao Study)

228

游魂 ghost drift

畫皮

到底是孤身獨行的豔麗佳人

還是一頭猙獰厲鬼披上人皮？

愛你手執彩筆繪畫出自己的形狀

永不知道迷戀的可是敷粉的朱顏？

有時好似看見絲絲破綻轉眼又不見了

也許沉迷的視線不願看進事物的隙縫

憐你孤苦擁你入懷溫暖你待你醒轉

巧笑揚眉眼波流轉你似要呼應遠方

當你離開眼前我彷彿又看見你

變幻成許多我不願見到的形像

你回來了你好似是另一個人

我愛的是你嗎你愛的是我嗎？

你輕忽的手擱我胸膛上要安慰我

還是餓了想要咀嚼我的心肺充饑？

你說愛我若我被剖腹掏走了一切

可會為我經歷萬水千山從頭收拾

那離腔帶痛化為污穢的痰涎

經愛猶會熱騰騰跳躍的一顆

人心？抑或你更喜歡一副彩繪的

人皮？在無盡飄忽的光影上徘徊

經歷切膚的傷害我們更明白彼此麼？

原諒我恍惚的心事對愛情問的傻問題

改寫自<畫皮>

游魂

229

ghost drift

painted skin

are you a beauty wandering aloneor an evil spirit with a human skin?

I love you holding a brush to paint out a colourful facewill I ever know if I’m just obsessed with the painted face?

sometimes I seem to discover faults but they vanish in a breathperhaps obsessed eyes won’t look into cracks

pity your bitter solitude, hold you in my arms, warm you until you wake upyou smile, raise brows, eyes roll around, as if you’re calling faraway

when you leave, I seem to see you againchanging into things I wouldn’t want to see

you’re not the same woman when you’re backare you the one that I love? am I the one that you love?

are you comforting me with gentle hands on my chest?do you want to chew up my heart to satisfy your hunger?

you said love me, but when my chest is cut openare you willing to go through thousands of mountains and rivers

to retrieve the painful heart dislodged from the chest becoming dirty phlegm and gone through love, still hot

still throbbing? or do you prefer a colourfully-drawn face? endlessly strolling between erratic light and shadow

will we know each other better once the pain of cut flesh is felt?please excuse my baffled mind asking stupid questions about love

(rewritten from the ‘Drawn Face Skin’ episode in Strange Tales from the Liao Study)

230

游魂 ghost drift

畫壁

東壁上散花天女栩栩如生

我凝神注目看見了你

垂髮的少女，張嘴將要說話

流轉的眼波將要把我納入

觀看的範圍，令我神搖意奪

飄忽如駕雲霧去到遙遠壁上

身處殿閣聽一位老僧說法

我在衆人的背後擁你入懷

你輕輕掙開，又回身抱我

頰上的紅暈讓燙熱的嘴唇

欲言欲止，衣衫上的言詞

老夾纏不清，有汗濕的指頭

在背上寫字，告我深埋的秘密

唯恨金甲使者把我們好夢驚醒

你啟壁上小扉遁去我躲匿一角

但覺耳際蟬鳴，目中火出

直至寺僧喚我久游也該歸去

飄然自壁而下，灰心木立

悵看一壁無法再進入的圖畫

那兒有你，挽起螺髻的愛人

東壁上栩栩如生的散花天女

改寫自<畫壁>

游魂

231

ghost drift

the painted wall

the lifelike fairy on the east wall scattering flowersmy eyes fix on youthe girl with hair hung straight, mouth open as if about to speakluring me down tothe horizon, besot meas if in mist and on clouds drifting to far walls to a temple’s hall listening to an old monk’s lessons

behind everyone I hold you in my armsyou twist away a little, and then turn back to hug meflushed cheeks and hot lipsabout to part, garments bearing inscriptionalways wreathed and unclear, the sweaty fingerwrites on the back, revealing to me a secret deeply buriedI hate the herald with gold armour who spoils our sweet dream

you seal yourself under a trapdoor, I hide in a cornerbut cicadas cry out by my ears, fire bursts out of my eyesuntil monks wake me from wanderings too longfloat down from the wall, resigned to standand stare at a wall of painting where I’ll never be able to get in againthere you are, my love with a spiral bun hung upthe lifelike fairy on the east wall scattering flowers

(rewritten from the ‘The Drawn Wall’ episode in Strange Tales from the Liao Study)

232

游魂 ghost drift

綠蜂

我在寺內讀書舉筆醮墨寫字似有婉妙聲音你從窗外喚我綠衣長裙掀起一陣綠色清風翩然來到身旁不怕沾濕繡鞋只為來陪伴我

你的纖足輕點倚床唱出新歌聲音細如游絲卻又婉轉纏繞牽著耳動了心靠著我為甚麼還有不息疑懼為甚麼你覺得心動帶來災禍？

我送你出房門看你轉過房廊只剩靜寂的風還會再見你嗎？直至忽然聽見淒急的呼叫聲奔跑去尋見了巨大蛛網纏繞奄然可憐青蜂

把你帶回案頭解清纏縛看你筆墨之間復蘇看你登上硯池投身沐入墨汁走入空白紙上移動纖小身體給我寫一個字展翼穿窗飛去

改寫自<綠衣女>

游魂

233

ghost drift

the green bee

I’m reading in the templedip my brush, about to writehear a euphonic voiceyou’re calling me outside the windowyour green clothes and long skirt raisea sweep of green clean breezeand flows to meonly to keep me companynot afraid of embroidered shoes stained

your thin legs alighton the bed you sing a new songvoice soft like a wisp of silk adriftbut sweet and winding leaning on me, luring my earsmy heart moved, why are therestill relentless doubts?why do you believe thata heart moved brings misfortune?

I walk you out of the doorand see you turn into the corridorleaving behind calm breezecan I see you again?then suddenlya piercing shriekI run out and seea pitiful dying green beetrapped in a big spider web

I bring you back to my deskremove the entangling web and see yourevive between brush inksee you crawl to the inkstonedip into the inkcrawl back to white papermove your small framewrite me one wordspread wings and fly off

(rewritten from the ‘The Girl in Green’ episode in Strange Tales from the Liao Study)

234

游魂 ghost drift

良夜

今夕何夕？遇見了這樣的嘉客

我不知道你從何處來往何處去

聽你談吐好似知道另一個世界

你從千里外的西湖召來了娟娘

美豔黃衣仙女為我們高歌一曲

你的笛聲伴奏為我們洗去塵垢

今夕何夕？遇見了這樣的月亮

你從空中喚來了佩羽翼的彩船

讓我們乘習習的清風飄上青天

飛渡雲霄降落千裏以外湖水中

聽見好似不是來自人間的管弦

歡然對酌與來往船舶飛盞送飲

今夕何夕？遇見了這樣的女子

令我依戀徘徊，彷彿情意萌芽

舟中訂了盟誓，又似人隨短曲

消逝無蹤，只餘我振轡至岸邊

但見人船俱失，斜月偏西

曙色漸明，頑馬變回人形

改寫自<彭秋海>

游魂

235

ghost drift

the auspicious night

is this an auspicious night? I encounter a guest like thisneither knowing where you come from nor where you’re heading listening to you talk, you seem to know about the other worldyou summoned Juan Niang from the west lake a hundred miles offa beautiful yellow-clad fairy singing for usin company with your flute that washes dust off

is this an auspicious night? I see a moon like thisyou call out a colourful boat of feathersso as to carry us in the serene sky through breezesand clouds and it touches down on the lake a hundred miles furtherhearing flute music that seems etherealdrinking to each other, and to other boats flying

is this an auspicious night? I meet a girl like thiswho makes me linger, my love growing,we make a vow on a raft, she vanishes with a short songnot a trace, I whip a horse to the bankbut no ship, no people, moon slants westin dawn’s light, the mischievous horse regains its human form

(rewritten from the ‘Peng Qiu Hai’ episode in Strange Tales from the Liao Study)

236

游魂 ghost drift

青蛙公主

祭神的酒中似有生靈蠢動

祠中有千萬生命攀援滑壁

所有的殿柱和神壇同震動

聆聽一個愛情故事的曲折

「十娘愛你善待你，為何

視籬笆外我的兄弟為異類？

為何以不同的皮膚為污穢

若我同樣待你是甚麼滋味？」

「可是驕橫令你難當人妻？

我早說過不敢與神相匹配

你竟可在盛怒中焚我房舍

且讓我舉火燒你所居神殿」

「變怨為喜又已兩個年頭

為何你復萌故態轉笑為怒

用惡蛇一樣的嘲謔咬嚙我

任多年的恩愛就從此斷絕？」

「在孤獨裏我安靜地回想

叩壁只聞無邊的空寂之聲

悔愧裏記取昔日溫婉笑語

從今但收煞了惡謔的心情」

「不禁撫摩你消瘦的頸背

曾擔心儇薄不敢留根人世

有見於你的癡有感於你情

我也好想有所寄望於明日」

無數青衣混雜在布衣之間

神翁神媼著朱袍蒞臨民舍

青天與山川同照一片陽光

男女與青蛙同喝一杯喜酒

改寫自<青蛙王>

游魂

237

ghost drift

the frog princess

spirits stir in the wine for worshipthousands of souls climbing slippery walls in the templeall the pillars and altars are shaking to hearthe twists and turns in a love story

‘Shi Niang is nice to you. Why treat my brother on the other side of the fence as a nonhuman?Why do you see different skin as filth?If I did the same to you, what would you feel?’

‘Is it that a shrewish woman couldn’t make a good wife?I told you I dared not marry an immortal godout of rage, you burnt my house let me burn yours with fire held high’

‘from hatred to happiness, another two yearswhy did you return to angerand bite me with your snake ridicule?has our long love come to an end?’

‘in solitude I reflect calmly on the pastI knocked on the wall, only boundless echoes of emptinesswith shame and regret I recalled warm smiles and sweet words I’ll hold back my mockery henceforth’

‘I couldn’t help fondling your scrawny neckfrivolity worried me, I dared not plant roots in the mortal worldbut I was moved by your passion and your loveI wish for a future that I can depend on’

countless green garments mixed with cotton ware gods and goddesses in red robes visit our plain house the blue sky, the mountains and rivers share the same sunshinemen and women and frogs drink the same wine

(rewritten from the ‘The Frog King’ episode in Strange Tales from the Liao Study)

238

游魂 ghost drift

轉世

聞你逝去令我哀默

日夜焚香念你

不想今夜見你來歸

形貌柔弱

只有我知你情深

抱你入懷

誦一遍金剛經

為你解脫前世種種冤孽

唸滿一歲經咒令你得生

你要離開

說十五年轉世重來

再續恩義

此去盡多荊棘

你要珍重

我棄徒勞功名待你

不管到時又經甚麼劫數

多夜亂夢後夢見青衣人

引我去見菩薩

河水飄滿斷篇零簡

掬水有異葉香

在敘事深邃處失足滅頂

我從溺中醒來

眼目更明

知終會在一故事裏逢你

許多年過了你重來尋我

不復尋見昔日形貌

我亦只能在新的體裁上

招你的魂

錯失多年才終找到彼此

緊抱屍體入懷

細細撫愛給它溫暖

我們只有起死才可回生

改寫自<魯公女>

游魂

239

ghost drift

reincarnation

I paid a silent tribute when I heard about your deathI’ve been missing you day and night and burning incense for younever expected that you would come back tonightsoft and weakonly I know the depth of your loveI hold you in my armsread the diamond sutraso as to relieve you from your past-life entanglements

read for the whole year and you gain a chance of lifeyou have to leave nowsaying you’ll be reincarnated and return in fifteen yearsto continue our love it will be a thorny journeyyou must take care of yourselfI give up the pursuit of officialdomdisregarding whatever misfortune awaits

nights of messy dreams, and finally the man in green garbleads me to the Bodhisattva fragments of the sutra afloat on the riverI cup my hand to hold some water that carries a peculiar fragranceslip and die in the depth of narrationI wake from the drowningeyes see more clearlyI knew I would eventually meet you in a story

you come to me after many years have passedno way to retrieve your past looksI have to call for your spirit with new formsafter so many years we finally find each otherI hold your corpse in my armsgentle strokes warm itwe can only die to be alive

(rewritten from the ‘Lu Gong’s Daughter’ episode in Strange Tales from the Liao Study)

241

242