� [PDF] CREATING A STINK: THE SAD DEATH OF

BRITAIN'S LARGEST MANUFACTURER FREE DOWNLOAD

Avtar Singh Bimbraw

Based on personal experience, this is an allegory of the problems faced by Britain'sbiggest manufacturer (let's call it ECI) when it jettisoned its old values. It used moneywhich it didn't have, borrowed heavily from the banks, and bought a very specific set ofindustries, making and selling medium-value chemicals. It all looked good on paper,freeing ECI from the cyclical nature of its traditional low-margin, high-volume market.Unfortunately, the enterprises which it had purchased were already under the yoke of ashockingly oppressive culture. Middle management were used to getting their own way,utilising duplicity and subterfuge to achieve their sole aim - that of making middlemanagement look good, to a completely uninformed upper management. They'd beengetting away with it for decades. Employees referred to their place of work as 'The DreamFactory'. This situation didn't change under ECI ownership. Instead, it got worse, as thestakes were now higher, and the top management even less well informed. The world ofFragrances, and the associated artistic temperament, is very far removed from heavychemical processes, making thousands of tons of polymers and plastics. The latterrequires very specific and quantifiable inputs and outputs. Most of all, it requires Scienceand Truth. So - what could possibly go wrong in the 'New' ECI?

CreatingaSTINK(Whatever happened to ECI?)by Dan Murdoch© Dan Murdoch 2020AllRights ReservedContentsChapter OneInauspicious OmensChapter 2Danger – Women atWorkChapter 3Tiny TimChapter 4Probationary PeriodChapter 5Exit Stage LeftChapter6Core ValuesChapter 7Third Parties, Fire & TheftChapter 8Muscone : The HolyGrailChapter 9An Incendiary AtmosphereChapter 10The Phoney WarChapter 11PatchouliWarsChapter 12Core SkillsChapter 13Open HostilitiesChapter 14Sedentary WorkChapter15Asset StrippingChapter 16New BloodChapter 17#Me TooChapter 18InfernoChapter19AftermathChapter 20Coumarin and Open-Chain MusksChapter 21Gloves OffChapter22Dirty DeedsChapter 23The FIRMChapter 24The Summer of HateChapter 25DecisionTimeChapter 26Pub LunchChapter 27Volte-FaceChapter 28TosserChapter 29NewMillenniumChapter 30Still Here?Chapter 31Internet AbuseChapter 32The NorthernLightsChapter 33ConfrontationChapter 34MugChapter 35RadiantChapter 36SkinSafetyChapter 37RibbonsChapter 38BowelsChapter 39WhoreChapter 40BrownoutChapter41The AssassinsChapter 42Peter Principle PersonifiedChapter 43ShuffleChapter44Disciplinary ActionChapter 45DictaphoneChapter 46WhistleChapter 47IntellectualPropertyChapter 48Thoughtcrime TranscriptChapter 49The Man in the White SuitChapter50Intellectual Property #2Chapter 51Dead Man WalkingChapter 52Another DeadManChapter 53Man DownChapter 54Insurrection and RebellionChapter 55WhiteNoiseChapter 56White WashChapter 57Offending a Maiden AuntChapter58NemesisChapter 59Business as UsualChapter 60Skills InventoryChapter 61LimboDanceChapter 62Jack DanielsChapter 63How the West was LostChapter 64Scurrying FromUnder RocksChapter 65Partial DenouementsChapter 66Raised StakesChapter67SabotageChapter 68Glimpses of the FutureChapter 69Proctor & GamblingChapter70CrackChapter 71Reversal of FortunesChapter 72Interviewed by the CopsChapter73Perfect DayChapter 74Sell OutChapter 75The Ketamine SummerChapter 76SeptemberSongChapter 77The SaboteurChapter 78Requiem for a MarriageChapter 79Enough!Chapter 80Time BombChapter 81SwansongChapter 82Cyclopropane MuskChapter83JugglingChapter 84SamsaraChapter 85RollercoasterChapter 86ApogeeChapter87ChaosChapter 88Repetitive Strain InjuryChapter 89Cars with FacesChapter 90TheEndChapter Zero Well, how did we end up in this mess? Britain, I mean. We don’t make allthe things we used to be so good at, be it steel, cars, motorcycles, or atomic bombs.Instead, we’re a service economy where we’ve got to eat out to help out. Post Covid-19,office workers are being encouraged back to city centres by the Government, less throughefficiency concerns, more about keeping baristas, bartenders and sandwich makers in ajob. It’s a tragedy. Meanwhile, the country is divided almost equally between hope anddespair as we make a protracted and messy withdrawal from Europe, a partner we neverloved wholeheartedly. What’s going to happen? Who knows? There’s no crystal ball, only amurky, painful and argumentative past, usually such a reliable guide to the future. Myname is Dr Dan Murdoch. Hello! I never use the bloody stupid title, I find that it hasn’t

really helped my career these past couple of decades, where I’ve been delivering post forRoyal Mail, or cooking breakfasts in a local hotel. But, back in the 1970s, I got myself aneducation at a decent University, then worked in the Chemical Industry for the finalquarter of the 20th Century. Such a happy time I had initially, synthesising novel chemicalswhich could disrupt the nervous system of insects. Or killing weeds and fungi. Manly sortof things to do. But, all good things come to an end, agrochemicals became unpopular, Ifound myself looking for a new job as an Industrial Chemist, hopefully where I wouldn’thave to move house. Unfortunately, there was an opening nearby. That job was withMonolever, making new molecules, destined to become fragrance components. It wasn’twhat I’d have chosen when I was an idealistic undergraduate, but I now had a wife andkids…. responsibilities. Besides, a job is a job. It wasn’t a happy time. I soon discoveredthat this place was infested by weak management, terrified of innovation, unless theycould control it. All ideas were to be handed to the nearest lackey, who’d then proceed toscrew them up. The only projects with guaranteed success were nominally run byprotected species, often women, and were spin-doctored by middle-management untilthey bore no resemblance to the truth. They got away with it, because, thanks to theMonolever Management Scheme, most upper management weren’t technically trained.Research funding was overseen by a History graduate, totally unqualified to spot thebullshit. And, into this mess wandered Empire Chemical Industries (ECI), which had oncebeen Britain’s largest manufacturing Company…. ECI had enjoyed huge success,responsible for polymers such as nylon, as well as pharmaceuticals and dyestuffs. With itshuge chemical expertise, it did most of the work which enabled Britain to become anuclear power in the 1950s, purifying uranium hexafluoride for bombs and the likes. Andit had an agrochemical arm. Blowing stuff up….. killing things. Manly endeavours. But, thepharmaceutical and agrochemical arms were now a separate Company. The residual ECIheavy industries were high-volume, low margin, subject to cyclical demand, and deeplylacking in glamour, especially as a woke, touchy-feely new millennium approached.Concurrently, for the very first time, ECI appointed a CEO from outside, someone whohadn’t climbed the internal ladder, allowing him to understand the chemicals business.The new CEO had a Monolever background… a marketing man.So, mid1990s, ECImortgaged their huge assets and borrowed heavily from the banks, to purchase somevery specific industries which had been owned by Monolever. ECI transitioned from beinga heavy Chemicals Company into a glorified Marketing Company. As in many transitions,there was an immediate identity crisis. This was a reverse takeover, and the ECI old guardof seasoned professionals were shown the door. A logical, structured industry had beenswamped with snake-oil merchants who were ‘selling sensations’. You could level the samecharge at a brothel madam. The top management echelons who had engineered this farcehad no idea how to deal with the monster they’d spawned, and, worst of all, they didn’teven know how they’d pay for it. They were in hock to the banks for the money, hadborrowed heavily against the old ECI plant and equipment, which they now needed tosell…. urgently. But, nobody wanted to buy, unless at a knock-down price. Surprise!

Everyone knew that they were witnessing a distress sale. Almost from the offset, the ‘new’ECI was now struggling to stay afloat.Worst of all, there were creative solutions available,plenty of Development materials in the perfumery pipeline, but it was much moreimportant for the retained relics of the Monolever culture to settle old scores. Believingthemselves to be creative geniuses, they were hypersensitive to criticism, yet lacked theability to create their way out of a wet paper bag. And, while making perfumes may notappear to be a manly business, it is actually ruthless – filled with explosions, death, fires,crippling disfigurement, and cutthroat colleagues, who aren’t always being honest, forvarious reasons. These problems can be controlled where upper managementunderstand the business which they’re managing. But, ECI had purchased a culture, aswell as a Company. It didn’t understand the fancy fragrance business which it hadpurchased at an inflated price, and it didn’t realise the underhand way in which itoperated. Science was once a proud profession, dedicated in its search for the truth, andthe truth doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings. Here, you had to walk on eggshells to avoidbecoming a target for the next sacking. Prepare to despair at some shocking, senseless,needless waste. The reckless decisions of our Captains of Industry allowed the antics ofdogma-driven, duplicitous middle-management to pave the way for today’s industrialwasteland. ECI and I sank in parallel, due to the actions of the same people. This is whathappened.Midway life’s journey, I was made awareThat I had strayed into a dark forestAndthe right path appeared not anywhereAh! Tongue cannot express how it oppressedThatwood, so harsh, distant and wildThat fear at thought of it strikes now, into my breastSobitter it isDeath is scarce more bitterDante: ‘The Inferno’Chapter OneInauspicious Omens Jamie Marde and Dan Murdoch found themselves sitting awkwardly on a filthy, dust-engrained velour sofa, which may once have been blue. It’s their first day at QuantumInternational, a fragrance company owned by Monolever, and situated on the outskirts ofAshbridge in Kent. They’re awaiting a belated summons from Human Resources, whoseoffice is situated further down the dirty, dingy corridor of the Visitor’s Entrance. Thestained, flaking ceiling tiles show the unmistakable signs of water ingress, what anexcellent first impression this must make! Neither of the pair seems particularly keen onfacing what lies beyond, they’re scarred with the memory of coming here for interview.The sheer brutality of the buildings break the bounds of anything necessitated by thecheap materials utilised. Pre-stressed concrete carbuncles with narrow slits for windowsare punctuated by the occasional flat-roofed monstrosity built of brick. All have beencorroded by caustic, gaseous effluent from a factory constructed of corrugated asbestos.There’s a Pilot Plant whose breezeblock walls were blown asunder in the mid-1960s, andthree men went through the resulting gap at considerable speed. Found in an adjacentfield, any efforts to put them back together failed. All had been killed, one had beendecapitated. You see, natural musk is a valuable odour, but very expensive. Synthetic nitromusks provide a harsh approximation to the desired scent, they’re cheap to synthesise,but very closely related to high explosives, such as TNT. When you’re making a new one,you can never be too sure that you’re going to walk away from your experiment,

particularly on a Pilot Plant scale. The Plant has been patched up, using breezeblockswhich don’t match. It looks like a cavity filling in a mouth full of rotten teeth, and thesweet, cloying smell of musk and death still clings to those walls. Dan shuddered as he wasshown around during that interview. Killed! In this place!! Killed for what..? To make asmell? The sheer futility of the endeavour horrified him. There was something inhumanein expecting people to put their lives on the line for a sensation so transient, subjectiveand unnecessary. One of the survivors of that accident still worked on site, horriblycrippled. Dan had seen his painful progress between buildings, spine twisted, one side ofhis body useless, throwing out a leg to use as a pivot…. twist, turn, drag….. throw, pivot,twist, turn drag….. head counterbalanced to the sky at a crazy angle. A freak show. Theentire place seemed to be mad, a looking glass world of inverted values, and no yardstick.But, he did need a job. Married, with two boys aged nine and six, he did need a job. So, hetried to ignore, or at least downgrade, his feelings of nausea and dread. There appears tobe a rigorous pecking order on site. The Perfumers, who inhabit the triangular ‘CreativeCentre’, tend to lord it over everyone else, thanks, no doubt, to their rumoured six figuresalaries. Well, they bring in the money, after all, by selling their ‘creations’, tried and testedformulations which they will tweak every now and then with in-house molecules whichhave been discovered by the Novels Group. The new molecules will then be patented,synthesised on a large scale by the Pilot Plant, and made available to the QuantumPerfumers, giving them a ‘Creative Advantage.’ The Chemists are charged with providingtheir lords and masters with such novel, unique fragrance chemicals. Yet, they occupy amuch inferior realm, pulling down the lower quartile of five figure salaries, and theBusiness people see them as a drain, an expense. Really, they are no more than techies,equivalent in status to the hordes of administrative and accounts staff. Bottom of the pileare the Compounders, unskilled drones who mix up the formulations, and must keeptheir heads steeply inclined to the ground, in a gesture of submission. It had all beenexplained to Dan when he attended for interview.‘We normally prefer to employ localpeople,’ said his guide, as Dan stood, horrified, in the chaos of the Compounding Building.‘Monolever is a multinational, we can afford to pay slightly above the going rate. As aresult, these people take out mortgages, and we have a loyal, compliant workforce forlife.’“These people.” What an ethos. And, now, it was time to face it.‘This place is like thatFritz Lang film…… Metropolis,’ ventures Dan.Jamie, however, was deep in his own misery.‘Ican hardly believe this is happening…,’ he murmurs, wretchedly. Several years would passbefore he confessed to Dan that he felt like crying on the morning of that first day. Jamieand Dan had known one another for the best part of a decade, they’d both worked for amajor Agrochemical Company over at Standingbourne in Kent. Dan, a few years olderthan Jamie, had been a scientist in the Herbicide Group when Jamie joined as a Pilot Planttechnician. They discovered that they both liked beer, and were teaching themselves toplay guitar. Cue various chord-bashing sessions at each other’s houses. As theAgrochemical market changed, a new Insecticide Group was initiated. Jamie and Dantransferred to it, and Dan made something of an impression with his new neonicotinoids.

Nobody knew that they ruined the memory of bees back then. Anyway, by 1994,Agrochemicals were another fading memory, the Standingbourne site closed down, andthese two Chemists were looking for a job. Three months prior to this fateful firstmorning, both had separately obtained second interviews down at Quantum. Brian Hall,Head of Research, seemed quite keen to introduce some new blood. In fact, his messageseemed at odds with the complacent Monolever outlook which pervaded the rest of thesite.‘We need new Chemists here, urgently!’ Hall exhorted, ‘People with some experienceof the outside world, people who’ve cut their teeth elsewhere. This entire ResearchDepartment is filled with dead wood, doing things the same old way, because they don’tknow any better. I’m trying to shake it up, but there has, of course, been a great deal ofresistance.’‘Where do I fit in?’ asked Dan, sensing interesting times ahead if he landed thisjob.‘I’ve just created a dedicated Process Development Group,’ explained Hall, a tall,authoritative man whose overbearing mannerisms evaporated once he started talkingChemistry. ‘I’ve separated it entirely from the Novel Materials Group,’ he continued.‘Currently, the Business have an urgent requirement for some Development materialswhich aren’t necessarily novel.’‘You’ll have to explain further.’‘Right…,’ Hall didn’t look allthat comfortable as he continued, ‘You know all about the accident we had with nitromusks..? How much do you know about other musk classes?’‘I know that nitro musks datefrom the early 20th Century. Found by accident, in the explosives industry. They’reinexpensive, but dangerous to make. Polycyclic musks were the next synthetic advance,from the late 1940s. They’re used in high tonnages to fragrance soaps and detergentwhich Monolever sell – Procter and Gamble, too. Very stable, not at all dangerous. But,they don’t break down easily, and they’re now found in drinking water.’‘And human breastmilk,’ added Hall. ‘The polycyclics build up in fatty tissue. Bad publicity… I’m sure you’llagree. Anything else? What do you know about muscone?’‘It’s the gold standard for muskodour – one of the macrocyclics which occur in Nature…. These are biodegradable, butthey’re difficult to synthesise. If you want the natural material, you’d have to kill an awfullot of musk deer. There are a few other macrocycles in perfumery use. They’re allhideously expensive – used in trace amounts, in fine fragrances.’‘Very good…,’ agreed Hall.‘You know quite a bit about our various problems.’‘I think it’s an insult to your host toattend an interview and be uninformed. I read up on what I could.’‘Well, we don’t use nitromusks any longer, and it looks as though the days of the polycyclics are numbered. TheFragrance Industry uses hundreds of tons of polycyclics, and we have an urgentrequirement for a replacement. As you’ve mentioned, the Industry hasn’t discovered anew class of musk since the 1940s. If all else fails, we’ll try to make a known macrocyclicmusk, but cost will be a major stumbling block. The guy who showed you around duringthe earlier part of the day…. Charles Sellinge. He used to be in charge of both Discoveryand Development, but I’m not sure he can be trusted with either aspect. So – there’s now aGroup which will look after Development exclusively. Chris Oldman will be in charge ofthis…. however, he’s inexperienced and it represents a big step-up for him. Really, herequires a right-hand man while he finds his feet. Do you think you could fill that role?

We’ve been impressed by your CV, and the answers you’ve given to all the technicalquestions we’ve fired at you.’‘Yes, that sounds fine,’ Dan agreed. It sounded as though ajob offer might be imminent, and he didn’t want to cut his options. ‘What aboutdiscovering new molecules, though? That’s really my area of experience andexpertise…’‘Those were Agrochemicals, not Fragrance materials,’ answered Hall, with aslight frown, as his plans were challenged. ‘Here, you will have to begin again, make afresh start. Since the last big breakthrough in musks was in 1949, the odds of finding anovel musk class is astronomical. At the end of the day, Chemistry is Chemistry, and this isan opportunity for you. Are you saying that you don’t want to work in ProcessDevelopment?’‘No, not at all.’‘Good! Because, I’m going to let you into a secret. There areproblems in this Department. I’ve made a start to rooting them out, I’ve relieved somepeople of responsibilities, and I’ve relieved some people of their job. The Novels Group isin a state of flux, which I’m keeping under review. There may well be further changes.However, the area of Process Development will offer a good level of stability for any newrecruit.’‘I see…’‘In any case, we have already filled a position at your level in the NovelsGroup. He’s been doing a postdoc in the States, and hasn’t actually started as yet.Obviously, he’s not as experienced as you are, so we’re providing him with a one yearcontract position at the moment….. he’ll working on Cosmetics initially, we’ll see howthings work out. Whereas, with yourself, we can see your history of innovation, and we’dhave no hesitation in offering a permanent post, giving you a few challenges. Would thatbe of interest to you?’‘Of course.’‘Well, I think you know that we’ll be in touch with an offer,’said Hall, rising to his feet, and proffering a hand. And that was how Dan found himselfhere, walking beside Jamie in a daze, making his way from Human Resources to thecorroded red brick of the Research Department.‘Come on!’ he gave himself an internalisedpep-talk. ‘You’re not wet behind the ears, you’re thirty-eight years old, you’ve got overfifteen years of experience as a Research Chemist! You’re successful, a string of patentsand papers to your name…. an average of two a year. You’ve got a reputation. You’ve got awife and kids. Get on with it….’On the first floor corridor, he nodded to his friend, thenturned to the right, to begin a career as a Process Development manager. Jamie turned tothe left, and entered the domain of the Novels Group, where he’d work as an assistant tothe new postdoc, who was yet to arrive.* The freshly-inaugurated Process DevelopmentGroup occupies a single laboratory, with an office allocated to Paul Lamp, who has beenserving as temporary lieutenant to Chris Oldman until Dan turned up. It’s not difficult toascertain that Paul resents Dan’s presence. Lamp immediately makes clear that Dan willnot be sharing this office, he has been allocated space out in the open laboratory….aportion of the lab consisting of three drawers, and a bit of bench amounting to the area ofa Primary School desk. There is no dedicated fume-hood, glassware or equipment for anyof the incumbents, it’s every man for himself. Needless to say, chaos and filth havepervaded the entire environment. A single, packed-column glc machine is wheezingconstantly, amongst the debris of abandoned glc syringes and needles. Dan’s in-tray is fullof paperwork, which everyone else seems to have already read.‘What’s this…?’ Dan asks

himself, out loud, as he examines the contents of one of the many brown envelopes whichhave been considerately opened for him. It turns out to be an invitation to join theMonolever Management Union.‘Oh, we don’t get offered these things,’ says Bob, a middle-aged technician who’d been looking over Dan’s shoulder. Actually, Bob seems one of thefriendlier, more approachable characters. Will, a younger technician in his mid-twenties, isseething with unabashed resentment. To Will, Dan represents yet another stumbling blockto whatever ambitions he might have held for the future. In his office, door closed, Lampconspiratorially informs Dan that Chris Oldman is far from comfortable in his present role.This isn’t fresh news. It had been mentioned by Brian Hall during Dan’s interview, thenconfirmed by Chris himself. That’s why Dan has been brought in as Scientific Manager –basically, someone to carry the can when things went wrong, as they were wont to do. ‘Weneed someone with a PhD in the Group,’ Oldman had confessed. ‘Paul is pretty good, buthe could do with some help. The others aren’t experienced enough, and they don’t havethe breadth of knowledge, this is the only place they have ever worked. They get into acertain way of doing things…. into a rut.’ Meanwhile, Chris could busy himself with ‘people’management, and distance himself from technical trouble. When Dan had asked aboutthe number of PhDs in the Novels Group, Oldman had become uncomfortable.‘Technically, there’s none at the moment, although there’s a new post-doc on the way.There used to be two. But Keith resigned, and Pete is working his notice. Brian Hall didn’tlike Pete, and he’s just sacked him. Personally, I think he expected too much from Pete….the guy is only twenty-six years old, he has a baby daughter, and this is his first job afterqualifying. Brian didn’t give him time to bed in, and Charles didn’t defend him, so….’ Hisvoice trailed off. ‘Anyway,’ Oldman continued briskly, ‘That’s water under the bridge, andit’s not why we’re here today…’ During that interview situation, Oldman hadn’t volunteeredmuch information about Keith, the other PhD, the one who’d quit the Novels Group. But,today, the background was soon filled by Paul Lamp.‘Keith was a good guy,’ he tells Dan,‘Very knowledgeable and professional.’‘So…why did he leave?’ Dan pressed.‘If you reallywant to know, it’s because he was pissed-off that he wasn’t appointed Group Leader ofthis new Process Development Group. He was much better qualified than Chris, whosequalification is an HNC from Mid-Kent College.’‘So – why did Chris get the job?’There wasan initially wary look from Lamp, before he took the plunge.‘Basically….. you could say thatChris got the job because of Charles. Charles was incandescent at losing some of hisresponsibilities, although it’s the loss of face that he’s most upset about. Charles couldn’tcontrol Keith, who was his own man, and there was no love lost between them. Charlesthen lobbied very hard for Chris to get the promotion, because it effectively keeps ProcessDevelopment under his wing. He knows that Chris is insecure, and will always be seekingCharles’ advice and approval. So, Keith quit, in disgust, then Pete got caught up in Brian’sdetermination to inaugurate new regimes. Charles didn’t defend him, because he’s veryafraid of Brian. Pete became a sacrificial lamb, to keep Brian off Charles’ back for themoment. I’m glad to be out of that Group.’‘Know anything about this new post-doc?’ askedDan.‘Only that his name is Karl, and he’s been working with Barton in the States. Brian and

Barton go back a long way, Brian was one of his students. He’s provided a temporarycontract to Karl, as a favour to his old boss.’‘OK… cheers. Thanks for filling me in on the lieof the land.’For the remainder of the day, Lamp bombards Dan with further information,mostly of a computing nature, although it’s difficult to see how this will be put intopractice. There are two computers in the open lab, which now holds five people. Thosecomputers are in constant, inefficient overuse, with queues of impatient potential users.The chaotic situation is even worse than the risible position with regard to analysingpractical work. You need to see how a reaction is progressing right now, not stand in multi-hour long waits for a slot on a glc machine, where, inevitably, someone will selfishly hogthe instrument, or cut in line ahead of you. Usually, the offender is Will.‘Oh, sorry…. I didn’trealise you were waiting. I hope that hasn’t inconvenienced you,’ he’ll sneer. It’s going totake a huge effort not to punch this joker. Already, Dan’s pituitary is working on overdrive,sending signals to adrenal glands, and his brain is steeped in cortisol.‘Jesus! If this is howthey analyse reactions, hours behind what is actually happening in the reaction vessel, nowonder things blow up….’ he mused. It was all very unsatisfactory, especially incomparison with his previous circumstances. His Agrochemical employer had provided anextensive, safe area for work – each Chemist was allocated two high velocity fume hoodsfor carrying out reactions, together with three medium flow ventilated areas for isolatingand purifying the reaction products by distillation or chromatography. Chemists wereresponsible for their own dedicated rotary evaporator and high-vacuum pump. All thechemicals you’d ever need, delivered next day by Aldrich. Here, there are two rotaryevaporators for the entire lab, shared between five staff, and illegally situated on the openbench. There was absolutely nowhere else for them to be placed. And, it seemed you hadto go on your hands and knees to a senior manager to have any Chemical Requisitionsigned. Miserably, Dan cast an eye over the problems he’d been allocated. Chris Oldmanwants him to come up with a technique to synthesis a large-ring, macrocyclic dilactone,like dodecamethylene glutarate, without recourse to polymerisation/depolymerisation, orhigh dilution, the usual way to overcome the unfavourable entropy connotations.Secondly, Quantum required a catalyst which could oxidise styrene to phenethyl alcohol (acomponent of rose odour), using pinane hydroperoxide as the oxygen source. Dan wasnow charged with making these processes work, as soon as possible. There was particularemphasis on the ASAP aspect.‘Yeah…. sure! I’ll just pluck the right catalyst out of thin air!’Dan thought, bitterly. He knew that the literature must be filled to bursting with failedattempts in both of these areas, and a full review would now be necessary beforebeginning any practical work. Welcome to the wonderful world of Process Development.He cursed himself for not making it clear that he’d have preferred a job in Novel Materials.But, Brian Hall obviously had plans for Dan, and didn’t like to be challenged. Anyway, Danremained unconvinced that it would ever be possible to develop empathy with CharlesSellinge, a large, amorphous man with a weak handshake, an unconvincing line ofcondescending conversation, and an apparent inability to look anyone in the eye. Maybeeight or nine years older than Dan, the Novels Group Leader didn’t look like someone to

be trusted. Chris Oldman, although portly and somewhat staid, was of a similar age toDan, rather younger than most of the middle managers around here. Compared to thestandoffish Sellinge, Oldman seemed more human, exuding faux empathy in a painting-by-numbers sense, going through the motions of what he’d learned on variousmanagement courses, without really believing in any of it, and without the slightestintention of implementing his platitudes. Dan wasn’t a novice to the Chemical Industry.He’d seen the type, and didn’t really trust Oldman, either. There had been no welcomingcommittee for Dan on this first morning, his pseudo-mentors were away on Monoleverbusiness. Brian Hall was in the USA, Chris Oldman was in India. A mid-afternoonhandshake had been provided from the Head of Organic Chemistry, Ton van der Waals, aDutchman. He had a glint in his eye, and seemed another of those who liked to get theirown way, and were used to getting it. Dan thought back to when he’d been at University,the interviews which took place on the so-called Milk Round. It was an open secret thatMonolever used psychometric profiling to get the sort of candidates they wanted for theirManagement Training Programmes…. concrete-thinking bullies, who’d be interchangeablewithin each and any of their plethora of sites. They’d impose their will on the equivalentsof the Compounders, who wouldn’t even notice that management had changed. Businessas usual. In any case, the drones would be local people, too busy trying to pay off theirmortgage with their slightly above average salaries. Dan thanked the God of Atheism thathe’d recently redeemed his mortgage with the Agrochemical redundancy money. Thesepeople didn’t have him over a barrel.‘When will you actually be starting, then? I thoughtthis was your first day….’ Dan looked up to see the sneering, dismissive face of WillSmythe, as the hands of the laboratory clock rolled round to five o’clock.‘I expect it’s timefor you to finish,’ Dan replied. ‘Not for people like me, though. No rest for the wicked, and Ican be very wicked, Will, if you really want to find that out.’‘Oooh! Promises, promises…’came back the mock camp reply, with some uneasy laughter from the other occupants ofthe lab. More than ever, Dan felt that he’d have to knock this guy’s teeth down his throat atsome juncture, probably soon. Back to the paperwork. There was a written apology fromOldman, regarding the difficulty of the macrocyclic dilactone, but Dan believed the secondproblem, the oxidation, to be even more intractable. There were a plethora of problemswithin problems for that one. This is a big mistake, Dan! You’re a synthesis chemist, not areaction kineticist, trying to monitor complex reaction mechanisms without the benefit ofproper equipment. Already, he felt caught up in something which was entirely out ofcontrol. After 5pm, people went home, one by one. It seemed a further sign of inefficiency,labwork doesn’t follow the clock, and it hadn’t been unusual for the Agchem labs to beoccupied at 7pm, even 8pm. Anyway, now he could access one of the computers, perhapsdredge some background on the two problems he’d been set. But, REACCS wasn’t loadedon either of the lab computers. It was available only on Paul Lamp’s computer, in theoffice. And, he’d locked the door. The glc machines, which had been busy all day, werenow programmed to run samples all night. When would he ever get the slots which wouldbe required, at immediate notice, to monitor reaction kinetics? As regards practical work,

there are no relevant chemicals, scant items of equipment, and the stores are almost non-existent. How the hell is he supposed to make a start on what he’s been assigned toinvestigate? The situation isn’t helped when Charles Sellinge comes into the lab, apparentlyimpressed because Dan is working so late. He starts to talk about potential catalysts forthe styrene epoxidation reaction, and is fixated on a Monolever product called ‘Dragoon’.It’s based on Manganese, and had been developed as a bleaching enhancer for theirhousehold detergent ‘Perishil’. Monolever would certainly have a big stash of ‘Dragoon’lying around, as it was in the process of being withdrawn. It might give whiter whites, butthe effects were temporary, clothes were subsequently falling apart – Monolever had beeninundated with complaints and adverse media coverage. Dan had seen much the samesituation affect Shell a few years earlier. The fuel additive in ‘Formula Shell’ had beenlaunched in a blaze of expensive publicity, then withdrawn in a spate of damaged engines,particularly prevalent in Vauxhall cars. The effects were first noticed by the maintenancecrews working for various Police Forces, who ran fleets of Vauxhall Carltons and Senatorsat the time. The newspapers were full of it for a while, Shell had to pay compensation, andmarket share was severely dented. I was probably at my lowest ebb regarding the utterfutility of most chemical research, an area to which I’d dedicated my life. And, I continuedto form strong opinions on Quantum. It struck me that those who were nominally incharge breezed around, totally unencumbered by any knowledge of what they weretalking about. There was Charles Sellinge’s misplaced faith in Manganese as a catalyst, forinstance. I already knew that only Molybdenum, and, to a lesser extent, Vanadium, couldcatalyse the epoxidation of isolated olefins, using hydroperoxides as the oxygen source.And those hydroperoxides would have to be extremely pure for the reaction to proceed –a minimum purity of 98%. This would require distillation, never a great idea forhydroperoxides, especially on a large scale. Those Group Leaders, Charles Sellinge andChris Oldman….. their boss, the Head of Organic Chemistry, Ton van der Waals….. allmarried, none of them with any children. This endeavour is how they intend to make theirmark on the world. At interview, I’d seen that all three of them were petrified of Brian Hall,the Head of Research, and no wonder! Dr Hall knows his Chemistry, and has little patiencewith those who don’t. But, Quantum middle managers had retrenched into the easier taskof people management. Allowing their technical knowledge to atrophy, they now took theimpractical problems of the Business and simply dumped them on the Chemists andTechnicians, who were here called Managers and Assistants. Then, breaking all the peoplemanagement rules, the middle tier offered no support. When, inevitably, miracles couldnot be achieved, they’d claim to Brian how disappointed they were that their staff had letthem down. I’d seen that bloke Pete again today, slumped in the Novels lab across thecorridor, working his notice. I’d heard the whispers about him, everyone petrified that thesame situation could come knocking at their door. The atmosphere in the entire place isawful, insinuations, obtuse comments, paranoia… Talking of which…. that dilactone project.Paul Lamp gave me a paper on related materials today, he’d obtained it from Pete.Apparently, this used to be the area which Pete worked on. What’s going on? Something

else to be unravelled. Anyway, I knew a little bit about this molecule. As my interview withBrian Hall had gone well, and I could second guess that Quantum would want me to workon macrocyclic musks, I’d checked out a few databases over at Standingbourne, while I stillhad access to Chemical Abstracts. I’d found that the target molecule requested by ChrisOldman was a known material which had been made by Carothers at DuPont, back in1935!!! Polymerisation/depolymerisation had been the technique used, and no-one hadcome up with anything better in sixty years! Was this a test, to see how much I knew? Ididn’t really trust Paul Lamp either, and decided to keep my powder dry for the moment.* Next morning, Jamie comes through to Dan’s lab, early. There’s still only the two of them inthe entire building. Outside, the sun struggles through the clouds of a grey dawn, furtherobscured by unnamed gaseous effluent, vented from the adjacent factory building.‘Well….how did you get on yesterday?’ asks Jamie.‘Fucking awful. You…?’‘Pretty much the same.What do you make of this place?’‘I thought it was bad at interview, mate. But, jobs inChemistry are thin on the ground. Especially where you don’t have to move house.’‘I’m notsure how long I’m going to stay here,’ replies Jamie, miserably. ‘The problem is, Lindawants to have kids, and she doesn’t want to move back to Cornwall.’‘You’ll be in exactly thesame boat as me, then, Jamie. Married, with kids, and a missus who only wants to goforwards, not backwards. My Linda sure as shit doesn’t want to return to Scotland. I hadthe chance of a job in Cornwall, one of those little synthesis setups, but she wouldn’tconsider that, either. Didn’t want to take the boys away from their school, and theirfriends.’‘We’re fucked, then, aren’t we?’‘Looks like it. What have they got you doing, by theway?’‘Some cosmetics nonsense, eventually…. ceramides. I don’t have to do anything untilthe new boy shows up. They asked me how I’d make something they wanted to use as aninsect repellent. Thought I’d know about it, since I used to work in Insecticides. It’s just asimple amide. Nothing like your old nitromethylene heterocycles, Dan. Again, I don’t needto start any practical work until this Karl bloke arrives. I can’t be trusted, apparently,without someone supervising me. God, they’re regimented here, it’s like the army. Thatguy Pete has had a dishonourable discharge, and there are two women through there,who now think they’re running the place. Three, if you count Charles.’‘I know what youmean…. oh, oh… look out, it’s the man himself.’The door to the lab had opened, revealingCharles, dressed in a grey herringbone coat.‘I’m not usually in this early, but I have to givea lecture later,’ he explains. ‘When I saw both of your timeclocks running, I presumed youmust have forgotten to pull them out last night. Anyway, Dan, regarding our little talk lastnight, I have some information on ‘Dragoon’ through in my office. Would you like to see it?You really must remember to include it in your experiments…’‘Fucking Manganese won’twork as a catalyst!’ I wanted to tell him. But, I could see the closed mind. My only course ofaction is to prove this, demonstrate it beyond doubt. I’d order some Molybdenum andVanadium-based catalysts, if I could ever get anyone to sign for them. But, until then, I wasfaced with the prospect of carrying out pointless work, doomed to failure. It didn’t exactlyfill me with enthusiasm. My heart was in my boots as I struggled through the week, tryingto ignore the many pairs of eyes which were constantly scanning and silently appraising

my every move. As expected, the reaction was a total and unmitigated disaster, there wereso many by-products that it was difficult to make any sense out of it, whatsoever. But, onething was certain – the desired products, styrene epoxide and pinanol, were entirelyabsent. Apparently, I should be finished all this by now, and on to the next step, reductionof the styrene epoxide to phenylethanol. Chris Oldman reappears on the followingMonday. ‘No phenylethanol yet?’ he asks. Dan looks up from the glc traces of his mostrecent experiment, using a Molybdenum catalyst which had been delivered just before theweekend. The results are disappointing.‘I know that you must be joking,’ he answered.‘And, if not, the answer is negative. The catalyst I had highest hopes for has just failedmiserably.’‘Was there any oxygen evolution?’ asks Oldman.‘I’ve had a good look throughthe equipment we have. A gas burette doesn’t appear to be on the inventory.’‘You couldalways use an upturned measuring cylinder,’ is the reply. It confirmed Dan’s suspicion thatthe suggestions in this place were always bright and breezy from those who didn’t actuallyhave to make them work. Next morning, Dan is scouring the library in a state of quietdespair, trying to find any hint that a catalyst based on an alternative metal might do thejob. In comes Chris Oldman, ostensibly to speak to Richard Baker, the librarian, aboutIndian patents. Their conversation lasts less than two minutes, before Oldman comesstriding over to Dan’s seat.‘Any progress yet?’ he demands.‘Christ! What do you expect tohave changed since yesterday afternoon?’ thinks Dan.‘Have you come up with a practicalmethod for measuring the oxygen evolution?’ Oldman persists.‘Well, Chris…. I’ve now beenthrough every drawer in the entire Department. It would appear that your suggestion ofan upturned measuring cylinder may be the only option.’Oldman winced, ever so slightly,before continuing…‘What about a reliable method for measuring the disappearance of thehydroperoxide? Have you been able to have a word with Stevie Oarland, downstairs?’‘Yes, Ihave. He was happy to try an HPLC technique. The main concern was being able to find asuitable detection protocol.’‘Hmmm…. yes. There’s no chromophore present, is there?Good point.’‘Look, Chris, I’m also a little bit concerned about the standard methodologyfor following the reaction progress by glc. The usual procedure is to quench into sodiumborohydride, to destroy any excess hydroperoxide, prior to injection. The problem is,that’ll give a false reading on the pinanol being produced.’Oldman stops in his tracks,taking this one on board.‘Yes, mate!’ thought Dan. ‘The problems are a little morecomplicated when you’re actually forced to address them, rather than glossing overthem.’‘Hmmm…. tricky one. In that case, it’s probably better to monitor the disappearanceof hydroperoxide by titration, then do the quench into borohydride. After that, subtractthe pinane hydroperoxide concentration from the total amount of pinanol seen on glc,and that will give you how much pinanol comes from the hydroperoxide.’He made itsound so easy….‘Chris…. what about experimental error? How long will it take to carry outan accurate iodometric titration, while quenching out, and monitoring by glc? Each readingwill be at least twenty minutes out, and that’s assuming I can even get access to a glcmachine when I need it, there’s only one in the lab, and it’s in constant use all day….before being loaded up with non-urgent samples to be run overnight. Not ideal for

reaction kinetics, is it?’‘You’ve mentioned the shortage of equipment, and poor access tothe glc machine. Any other problems?’ asks Oldman, condescendingly.‘Well – wearing mysynthesis chemist hat, the one I’m most comfortable with, this is probably the time toremind you that these reactions are reported to be infeasible unless the hydroperoxide isreally pure. I’m not distilling it, Chris.’‘Why not?’‘Don’t be disingenuous, please! Would youdo it? Particularly on the sort of scale you want. It’s an accident waiting to happen, a bigone. The process you’ve asked me to investigate is actually dead in the water. It’sfundamentally flawed. The hydroperoxide has to be really pure for it to stand any chanceof working, and that’s intrinsically unsafe. The iodometric titration isn’t reliable. There’s noequipment to measure oxygen evolution. The time lag between titration and running a glccould amount to several days, since there’s only one, overburdened machine, with noaccess when you actually need it, and, in quenching, all the hydroperoxide is converted toone of the products you’re looking for, giving a false reading. I don’t really see how I canhelp…. I can’t do what you want me to do. I don’t know if anyone can. And, there areaspects of this process which I won’t do…’Richard Baker is lurking within earshot….‘OK…OK…. we’d better talk about this over in my office,’ says Oldman. ‘Give me five minutes.’ Glumly, Dan packed all of his papers into his briefcase. Then, after a suitable interval, hefollowed in Oldman’s footsteps, over to his office, which was on the first floor of a two-storey Portacabin, almost on the other side of the site. The classy door was opened bypulling on a piece of hemp rope. Inside, Oldman was already seated, practicing his firm-but-fair management stance. It still required some work in front of the mirror.‘Right… thisis a bit more private,’ began Oldman. ‘Before you say anything further, I sympathise withthe position you find yourself in. I know the macrocyclic dilactone is a difficult target – Imade no bones about that. As for the kinetics problem, I certainly can’t help you. But,you’re obviously on top of the literature. A lot of people don’t do that sort of thing verythoroughly… ‘‘Why don’t you learn from what the literature is saying, in that case?’ Danthought. It’s a curious thing, but, at that moment, even in the midst of personal despair,he had an amusing thought run through his mind. It was of Benny Hill, in his guise as aChinaman, demanding:‘WHY YOU NO RISTEN?’‘Look, you’ve got a good brain,’ Oldmancontinues. ‘That’s why Brian Hall wants you in the Process Development Group. You’rehappy with reactions and mechanisms….’‘I’m happier making new molecules. I think you’vegot the wrong man.’‘So – are you saying that you don’t want to work for Quantum anylonger? Right – let’s go and find Ton.’ The Dutchman was in the middle of a meeting…..Activity Value Analysis. Eighty people were about to be made redundant on that site. And,here’s Dan, rocking the boat, making waves. Ton had to be paged, to leave the AVA jolly,then Dan was forced to reiterate his concerns, and some of his observations. In the wakeof his experiences of the past week, a few of these were, inevitably, pithy.‘Wait, wait…!’exclaims Ton, whose mouth was smiling, but his eyes were hard. ‘There are possibilities oftransfer to synthesis, but much of what you have said puts a different perspective onthings. You will have to leave this with me for a few days.’ Fair enough. I went across to thecanteen for sandwiches, then returned to the Research Department, climbing the stairs to

the library, trying to plan something sensible for the day. This had been my objective fourhours previously, but I remained no further forward. There were no other catalysts in thechemicals stores, of any description. It would take a further three days to access anythingbased on Vanadium, I’d have to get the requisition approved by Chris Oldman, and it’s notas though I believed the results would be any better. The stores were also entirelyinnocent of any chemical that would assist in the synthesis of dodecamethyleneglutarate… or any other macrocycle, for that matter. What do these people want from me?I looked out of the window at the enormous ventilation fans which whirred aroundconstantly, incessantly. Somewhere, a valve vented a vast volume of steam, with a‘Whooooosshhh!!’There was a sudden appearance from the Pilot Plant – Jim, the nitro-musk cripple, making his slow and tortuous progress between buildings. Throw… pivot….twist…. turn… drag. Throw… pivot… twist…. turn… drag. It seemed an inauspicious omen. Idecided that the best view of Quantum would be in my rear-view mirror. Forget that itever happened.‘What am I doing here?’ I asked myself, sadly. But, really, I’d adopted thewrong approach in my self-interrogation. I should have focussed on – ‘Where else am Igoing to go?’ Because, unable to answer the first question, I pulled out my time clock andwent home, where I’d be asking the second question soon enough….Chapter 2Danger –Women at Work Brian Hall was still over in the USA, and didn’t return for a further month.Dan was out when the telephone rang on the last day of May 1994, his wife Linda took thecall. She was waiting on the front doorstep, tears in her eyes, when he returned. Danfeared that this was really bad news. Instead, it was a bolt from the blue.‘Quantum wantyou to call them as soon as you get in!’ she exclaimed. ‘Brian Hall is back from the States,and wondered where you were, what happened to you. You’d better hurry up, it’s nearlyhalf-past four now….’So – he called. Brian Hall wanted to see him on Thursday at noon, todiscuss what options might be open….Options!! To Dan’s utter disbelief, his car wouldn’tstart on Thursday morning. He had only half an hour to get himself from Maidstone toAshbridge, and it wouldn’t bloody start! Eventually, he bump-started it down his steepdriveway, but it ran rough, on three cylinders, and he was forced to hammer it down theM20 in this crippled state, the engine shaking on its mountings, as the power unitstruggled to maintain 70mph. He arrived late. After being seen by Human Resources, Danwas taken for lunch by Brian Hall. He was treated to a carvery, at the hotel on the cornerof Canterbury Road.‘You actually did a good job in demonstrating the weaknesses in thoseprocesses you were being asked to perform,’ Hall tells him. ‘Chris is very inexperienced,and I’ve insisted that he must be more realistic in future. However, if you reckon thatProcess Development isn’t for you, I’m willing to try again. I can offer you a job in NovelMaterials. In the light of events, this will now be a one year contract, initially. Was thisexplained to you, earlier?’‘Yes…. it was. There are two permanent PhD positions in Novels,replacing Keith and Pete. Karl and I are both on one year contracts, effectively incompetition for these permanent posts, because Quantum may well interview others forthose jobs, during the course of the year.’‘We’ll see what you can do, the two of you, thentake it from there. What do you say?’‘I say, thanks for having faith in me. I won’t let you

down.’‘I hope not, Dan.’They shook hands.*It would be wrong to say that everyone washappy to see Dan back at Quantum on Monday, June 6th 1994. The feedback he receivedwas almost universally negative, and he simply had to grit his teeth, try to ignore it. Danwas assigned a project on biodegradable musks, and got stuck in straightaway,comfortable in the knowledge that he could make a contribution. Designing andsynthesising novel organic molecules for particular applications had been his lifeblood forthe past fifteen years, and he cursed his own foolishness – the events of the prior monthmight have been avoided simply by insisting on a preference for the Novels Group duringhis Quantum interviews. Oh well…..he still had a job, at least. But, he’d been castrated. He’dhave to keep his head down for quite a time. He was working under contract, and hadmade many enemies, some of them powerful. Chris Oldman resented the implication thatprojects in the Process Development Group were ill-conceived. Ton smouldered inwardlyat being overruled by Brian Hall, who’d offered Dan this second chance. His newcolleagues were openly indignant, they reckoned that such tolerance and forbearancewouldn’t have been extended to them, loyal Quantum employees. This attitude wasamplified further on Wednesday, June 15th 1994, when, as a result of Activity ValueAnalysis, the recipients of those eighty redundancies were announced across the site.Glaring, resentful looks in his direction abounded. There was little doubt that he wasunder close scrutiny, and that he’d better perform…. The Novels Group operated from two,small, adjoining laboratories, with an instrument room between, called the central office.It was in this cramped, cluttered space where the previous ‘managers’, Pete and Keith, hadattempted to do their paperwork. Charles Sellinge, the Group Leader, maintained a closedoffice next door, and would emerge from behind the obscured glass only once a day, mid-afternoon, to check on progress – painfully, his lack of people skills and empathy only tooapparent. The hierarchy of the Novels Group was just settling down. Karl Martin had nowstarted, and he seemed a very difficult person to like – obnoxious and arrogant to anextent incommensurate with a twenty-six year old standing on the threshold of his firstreal job. Despite this, Dan tried to be friendly and helpful, offering tips and advice. It wasno skin off his nose, after all, Karl was working in the Cosmetics area, while Dan wasmaking biodegradable musks. No overlap of interest. Therefore, Dan freely dispensedsynthesis suggestions in the areas of ceramides, insect repellents, and physiologicalcoolants. When Karl couldn’t make a particular alpha-hydroxy acid which was urgentlyrequired (everything was urgent), Dan showed how it could be synthesisedeasily. There were four technicians, whose Quantum title was ‘assistant’, althoughthey preferred to be referred to as ‘assistant managers’. The two women were obvioustrouble. Red-haired Kim Wood made no secret of her abrasive character, she revelled inher reputation. She’d only just returned to the group after a year’s maternity leave, duringwhich her husband, a fireman, had taken his leave from their marriage. She dislikedChemistry, and rather fancied herself in a Perfumery career, no doubt motivated by theinflated salaries on offer. Opportunities to work her way up that particular ladder hadarisen from time to time, starting on the bottom rung as an evaluator. But, Charles

Sellinge himself had, several times, attempted the leap from Research Department to thetriangular Creative Centre – unsuccessfully. And, if he couldn’t do it, he certainly wasn’tabout to allow Kim an escape to better things…..every time she’d applied for evaluatorpositions, Sellinge had subtly blocked her progress, by reminding everyone of thatuncompromising character she possessed. Then, there was Karen. Dan vaguely knewKaren Ross from the days when she’d been a technician in the Agchem glasshouses, overat Standingbourne. She’d left to join Quantum, because Shell wouldn’t put her throughcollege. Being a local girl from Ashbridge, she’d bought a house, put down roots, had acouple of kids with her husband Steve, and was the ideal Quantum employee. At hisinterview, Dan had bumped into Karen, and had been impressed by the tales of herprogress since joining Quantum – top marks in the RSC examinations, discovering a newfragrance material which had been named after her, that sort of thing. But, within a fewdays, he realised that much of the image had been spin doctored. It was obvious that herlaboratory work was slipshod. Sometimes, that can happen with people who are,nonetheless, hot on the theory side. That wasn’t the case with Karen. Her knowledge oforganic chemistry matched her risible practical skills. How on earth had she passed thoseexaminations? Her ‘friend’ Kim had the answers, and wasn’t backward at disclosing them,either. Kim was deadly jealous of the fact that Karen was now being ‘encouraged’ througha Quantum-sponsored PhD. In fact, Karen already felt herself the obvious candidate tomanage one of the Novels labs, and now the presence of Karl and Dan had thrown thoseplans into disarray. Karl was an unknown quantity to Karen, but she knew Dan’sreputation, she’d seen plenty of his materials at advanced stages of development in theShell glasshouses. Meanwhile, Kim would still be stuck as an ‘assistant manager’ for therest of her days.‘She learns it parrot fashion!’ Kim spat, vehemently. ‘Then, she forgetseverything… mainly because she doesn’t understand any of it! The whole thing makes mesick. She’s only managed to get this far because she can wind Charles round her finger.And, before Pete started, she used to work for Chris when he and Keith were the two labmanagers. She was forever fluttering her eyelashes at them, too….’‘What about that newfragrance material of hers?’ asked Dan.‘That’s another joke! The way Charles tells it to theperfumers, it was rationally designed. Absolute rubbish! But, the Perfumers believe thelies, because they don’t know any better.’‘So….what actually happened?’‘Quantum receiveda whole load of different diols from Hoechst, as samples. Chris had the rather obviousidea of making acetals and ketals from them, and set Karen that task – yes, it’s not toostretching. She couldn’t even do that properly. The first four or five were fruity. It’s not ahigh value odour area, and the world isn’t exactly crying out for another one. Then, shemade one that had a different odour……and, because it didn’t smell fruity, she threw itdown the sink!! When Chris came back, he wanted to know why the lab smelled sostrongly of amber, which is usually associated with really expensive molecules. The rest ishistory…’‘Shouldn’t she have thrown it into the organic waste, rather than down thesink?’‘Exactly! She hasn’t a clue as to what she’s doing.’‘What’s her PhD subject – it’s notrational design, is it?’ asked Dan, with simultaneous epiphany.‘You’ve got it in one!’ grinned

Kim. ‘She’s upstairs now, studying all she can about Molecular Modelling. That’s the wayforward, you know. In a few years, they’ll hardly need chemists, everything will bepredicted by computer. They’ve bought her a Silicon Graphics terminal, spent a fortune onit…’‘How much?’‘Thirty grand!’‘Kim…..they had Silicon Graphics workstations at Shell….thestereo ones with 3D glasses. A hundred grand apiece….maybe ten of them, all manned byscientists with PhDs in Molecular Modelling. And, what did they get out of it?Nothing…’‘Oh, they’ll get something out of it here, alright. Don’t worry about that! Charleswill make sure that the result is just as he wants it to be.’‘How will he do that?’ asked Dan,hungry for information on the likely MO of his Group Leader. But, the answer could not begiven. Karen entered the lab, taking a break from her Molecular Modelling studies, andKim suddenly morphed into her long lost friend.It was obvious to Dan that ambitious,frustrated Kim wasn’t to be trusted, but he was forming an even stronger opinion on theambitious, incompetent Karen, who was all sweetness and light on the surface. He’d seenenough, in just a couple of days, to know that she was both devious and manipulative.Under the friendly façade, there beat a heart of darkness, and the overtly two-faced Kimwasn’t even in the same league. Ken Palm was a much older assistant, nearly fifty years ofage, and any ambitions he may once have held had now deserted him. But, he was aQuantum man through and through, this was the only place he had ever worked sinceleaving school. He fitted, to a T, the template for the ideal Quantum employee, asexplained to Dan by Charles Sellinge on the day of his first interview. Ken was probably theleast overtly dangerous of the entrenched Quantum employees, the ‘Quanties’, as Jamieliked to refer to them. But, he, too, nursed his own grudges. For a start, he resented bothof these new Shell boys in the Novels Group. What did they know about fragrancematerials, compared to Ken’s three and a half decades in the industry? Bad enough thatJamie there has stepped in at Ken’s level, even worse that they’ve parachuted DanMurdoch into the group, with more money than Ken, more status than Ken. ‘It’s not reallyfair on Ken, is it?’ asked Ken. Ken and Charles were both Christians, Ken would attendChristian Fellowship meetings held in his Group Leader’s office at lunchtime, their timeclocks left running while they did God’s work. Many years previously, Dan had discernedthat Group Leaders who do most of their work behind closed doors, whether for a deity, amultinational, or both, always require the services of a trusty lieutenant who can informthem what is happening within the group, a tell-tale by any other name, a sneak, a grass, astool-pigeon. Ken was that person. Right after the redundancy announcements, there wereindividual debriefs. Neither Karl nor myself was called for one, and this allowed everyoneto put two and two together, deducing that I, too, was under contract for a year. Jamieasked me straightaway. However, it was the two women who took it a stage further, theymarched into Sellinge’s office, demanding clarification on my position. They didn’t holdback either, they went for the jugular. What was expected of me? What managementresponsibilities was I to have? Sellinge ducked the issue, and it left an awkwardatmosphere.It was a blazing hot, humid summer. Out of the blue, and with no priorexplanation, the summer students began to arrive, a quaint Quantum tradition whereby

they thought that work could be done on the cheap by placement students. In reality, anexisting, awful situation was exacerbated. There were already insufficient fumehoods toallow the six staff in the group to carry out reactions safely. Also, each worker should havebeen allocated their own rotary evaporator, which, in turn, should have been placed inseparate, dedicated fumehoods. Instead, two rotary evaporators per three man laboratorysat out on the open benches, where, lacking ventilation, they proceeded to slowly poisonthe lab-workers with solvent fumes through the course of the day. These laboratories,already overcrowded and under-equipped for six workers, now had five additional,inexperienced and somewhat gung-ho students to accommodate. It was ludicrous –laughable! You couldn’t leave the lab for a piss without your stirrer motor being stolen, orsome piece of glassware you were about to use disappearing forever. There were only twocomputers per lab – you could be in the middle of writing a report….go up to the library tocheck a literature reference….come back, and you’d be logged out, your documentunsaved, while one of these jokers e-mailed their mates on different placements.Unbelievably, the middle management couldn’t see that it was all a recipe for grossinefficiency – they blithely awaited the results of a near doubling of manpower, it was theonly part of the equation they understood, because they’d been away from practical workfor too long, and had never been all that keen on it in the first place. And, as for thescientific managers who’d been charged with making it work previously – they were allgone! Keith Motion had left, Pete Coggins had been sacked, Chris Oldman had now joinedthe echelons of middle management in the newly-created post of Group Leader, ProcessDevelopment. That left Karl and I to provide projects for nine assistants, and neither of ushad been given advance warning about this. In the competitive, hothouse environment,neither of us wished to appear phased by the situation, either. So, ideas that had beenawaiting a considered evaluation were never given a chance to reach full fruition – theirgestation period was cut short, to be given a premature, induced birth, then tended bycarefree, careless idiots. You could explain as many times as you wished how to sample areaction mixture in a way that wouldn’t destroy a glc machine….it takes only a few minutesto do it properly, but these young blades were far too sharp, clever, thrusting and dynamicfor that. Far easier for them to simply fill a microsyringe from the reaction vessel, theninject it into the machine when you weren’t looking. The Process Development Group hadnext to no TLC facilities. Novels Group had taken it a stage further – they had none. Allreactions were monitored by two ancient, packed-column glc machines, maintained byKen, who jealously guarded his arcane secrets. These differentiated him from the women,and made him feel unique within the group - irreplaceable. Well, he was kept busy duringthe silly season – the summer students would monopolise this equipment, trying toanalyse hopeless rubbish, injected willy-nilly without even basic attempts at clean-up, ortrying to remove strongly acidic catalysts. This would ruin the packing of the column,resulting in frequent, time-consuming and expensive column changes….. assuming thatspare columns were available, Quantum didn’t tend to hold vast inventories of expensivespares. You’d wait for hours for access to a machine, then a student would jump the

queue, injecting more rubbish, destroying the column packing before your very eyes. Withthe column now contaminated by acid, the printout would become undecipherable –sometimes, this would settle down, more often than not, it wouldn’t, and Ken would haveto get his spanners out again. Meanwhile, the reaction products of the experienced staffwould be ruined, as they’d be unable to monitor what was going on in their own reactionvessels. It was frustrating beyond belief. But, the ‘Quanties’ went along with it all. This iswhat management wanted. Therefore, the situation should not be questioned. It hadalways been thus, and thus it must always be….amen. Angela Swift, a mousey, blonde,bespectacled girl, had been the first student to arrive. She’d spent the previous summerthere, she was an old hand.‘Where’s Keith?’ she demanded. ‘And, what happened toPete?’Karen and Kim were onto it straightaway…‘Yes – wasn’t it better when Keith and Petewere here?’This went on, in various forms, over the course of the day – these women wereobviously attempting to wind her up. Actually, the main problems, as far as Dan could see,were being caused by Karl. He was intensely competitive towards Dan, and the studentshad now become part of the arena, Karl was already ordering them around, behaving likea little Hitler. Later, Dan overheard Karen point Angela in the right direction to causemaximum damage.‘You should go to Charles and tell him how you feel….’Dan decided tonip it in the bud. He walked up to where the women were sitting, startling them, hisquestion taking them by surprise, putting them on the defensive.‘Hi ladies! Wasn’t it somuch better when Keith and Pete were here?’Stunned silence.‘So…remind me…..why didKeith quit? And what happened to Pete? Oh, yes….he was sacked! Why was that, Karen? Iheard it was because he didn’t do enough work….’Neither Karen nor Kim would look athim….only Angela stared, aghast, unable to process how this obvious confrontation couldbe executed in such a cheerful manner.‘Karen…??’ Dan prompted.‘I don’t really know, I’mafraid.’ She continued to avert her eyes.‘Well, anyway… that was then. This is now. Nothingto stop us having some chemistry-related fun, is there?’ The others arrived in dribs anddrabs over the next week or so. There was Joe Metcow, who’d also been there the previousyear, so he and Angela gushed for a bit. He’d just returned from Glastonbury, where Danguessed he’d spent most of his time in the trad jazz tent. His family lived out in the Kentcountryside, in the vicinity of the large farmhouse belonging to Sellinge. It turned out thatMetcow’s old man was pretty high in the Monolever echelons, Sellinge would makeoblique and deferential reference to this. Joe himself was a Monolever managementtrainee. Then, there was Sarah, a naïve girl with strong Christian beliefs, just theway Charles liked them. Alan Happy, overweight, bespectacled, greasy hair, a penchant forbaggy dark flannels and white nylon shirts with pens in the pockets and permanentperspiration stains under the armpits, he wore a tie with a tie-clip. Either he’d been heavilyinfluenced by the film Reservoir Dogs, or he was a young fogey, possibly slightly autistic.The fact that he’d never heard of Quintin Tarantino and also liked logarithm paper madeDan suspect the latter. Finally, Terry Dally showed up, a reprobate from the Senacre areaof Maidstone, eyes darting as he looked for ways to make life as easy and comfortable aspossible for Terry Dally. Dan had seen it all before. You were never going to get much work

out of him. The venetian blinds were now permanently drawn in the labs, so that the twotiny computer monitor screens could actually be seen by these students as they e-mailedtheir friends, between creating chaos and markedly increasing the entropy and disorder ofthe universe.‘What do you make of this, then?’ Dan would be asked, as he was handed aGLC printout resembling the profile of a Toblerone bar.‘What I reckon, Terry, is that we’relooking at a series of carbocation rearrangements on a GLC column. Usually, we’d belooking at a reactant with a specific retention time slowly and smoothly turning into aproduct with a different retention time. When this has completed, we’d know to stop thereaction. You didn’t quench this before injecting it, did you?’‘I did….I swear.’‘You’re going tomake me swear, mate. I’ve shown you how to do it, and I’m going to show you one moretime. Then, we’ll take the proper sample and use the gc machine next door, after you’vetold Ken that you’ve bolloxed our equipment……again.’But, of course, when theyattempted to use the machine in the adjacent lab, it, too, had already been bolloxed bysomeone else…. In the face of this madness, frustration and wasted effort, Dan attemptedto hold onto his humanity, and was glad of the presence of his ex-Shell colleague, Jamie. Ifthe Shell site had been the land of the free, the Quantum site was Eastern Europe,monitored by the Stasi. Both Jamie and Dan noticed that it was expected of you toannounce any departure from the laboratory….you should state the reason for leaving,your destination, and the expected time of your absence.‘JAMIE!’ Dan would call throughfrom the other lab. ‘I’m going to have to leave the laboratory environment for a time.’Allears would prick up. Jamie was already primed for it.‘Do you have an importantappointment? Something we should all know about?’‘Not really. Got a bit of a turtle-heidcoming on…..I may be gone some time, though.’Actually, however, it was no joke. Onseveral occasions, Dan witnessed Karen attempt to land Jamie in trouble, complaining toCharles Sellinge that he was often absent from the lab for long stretches, and that no-oneknew where he was. Jamie wasn’t tackled about this directly by Charles. Instead, Sellingehad a ‘quiet word’ with Karl…..Working for Karl, Jamie was unimpressed by both the projecthe’d been set, and the personal attributes of his new boss, particularly in the way heattempted to run the laboratory. The only place that Jamie and Dan could talk was downby the River Stour at lunchtime, watching the M20 traffic. Sometimes, lorries from aDumfries depot would pass by – Currie European. They made Dan feel homesick.‘Whodoes Karl think he is, the way he struts about in there?’ Jamie complained to Dan. ‘He triesto bullshit me, he doesn’t seem to appreciate that I know far more Chemistry than hedoes. Now, he’s saying that he might make me sign in and out of the lab. Charles has beentelling him that he’s heard I’m never at the bench. What’s going on, Dan? This place isweird. I hate it.’‘You can’t say anything to any of them, mate. This is a nest of vipers, and itall makes its way back to old Charles there, sitting on his arse all day in that office. Karl is alittle twat, I could have told you that straightaway. Never trust anyone who wears a blazer!Particularly, not someone of that age, a relative youth. What next… a cravat? Amonocle?’‘Who do you think shopped me, Dan?’‘It was Karen.’‘You’re joking! Why wouldshe do that…?’‘Well…. she knows in her heart that she’s not up to it. She’s insecure,

therefore she never misses a chance to tell tales, trying to show other people up in a badlight. She thinks that makes her look better. Bill Londoner used to do the same thing atShell…..and Janet Night.’‘Why me?’ asked Jamie, miserably.‘Don’t worry, she doesn’t like anyof the new boys…..you, me, Karl, we’ve all come in and upset the status quo. You’ve beensingled out for immediate attention because you’re in her present salary bracket. You do aprofessional job, something she’ll never be able to do. Ken is wary of you for the samereason. So…. any dirt they can get on you…..anything…. it’s going to find its way to Charlie-boy. Meanwhile, Karen also hates Karl and myself because we’re in the way of her futureplans. One of us is going to get a job that she wants. And, she knows that if we both makea good impression this year, she might never get it. What if Quantum keep the two of uson? She’ll be assistant Ross forever. So, it’s simply a matter of time before we’re in the shittoo, grassed up to Dr Dolittle in his office for some spurious breach of Quantumprotocol.’‘What about Kim? You haven’t mentioned her.’‘I don’t think she’s a threat toeither of us, Jamie. She is a mixer, and she’s certainly not a nice person, but she wants toget out of that Department….so, we’re not in her way, Charlie is. I think the person whohad better beware of her is Karl.’‘What do you mean..?’‘Well….Kim’s got that kid, that she’salways on about. Has she got a man in her life? Particularly a good provider, someonewith a future in her beloved Quantum?’‘You’re talking about Karl..?’‘Nah…..Charlie!! Ofcourse I meant Karl. Have you seen the goo-goo eyes she tries to pull on him?’‘But, he’smarried!’‘When did that ever stop a determined woman? She knows she’s in with a chance,too! The bastard wears a blazer!! He’s a cad, Jamie! A bounder!’‘Where does that leave youas far as Kim is concerned, then? Surely, you’re getting in the way of her plans forKarl?’‘He’ll get one of the lab manager jobs. And, she’d rather I got the other one thanKaren – even though they’re supposed to be friends. Trust me on that one.’They stood,looking forlornly to the motorway traffic for a time. Suddenly, Jamie spoke up.‘I feel likemaking a run for it…’ he said. ‘Right across that field….and, do you know what wouldhappen? Remember that TV programme ‘The Prisoner’? One of those big, inflatable ballswould come out of the river, chasing me……it would be on top of me before I was half wayto the road…’‘Very good, Jamie! That’s a particularly vivid image, one which will stay withme forever.’Dan’s own work on biodegradable musks, after a reasonably good start, hadbegun to falter, reactions failing one after the other. This isn’t an uncommon situation inresearch, but it does nothing to augment your security. You’re only as good as your lastsuccess, and, if failure is protracted, the wolves will begin to howl for blood. Dan had notrack record in this place, no Quantum laurels earned, no reputation to fall back on.Simultaneously, his portfolio of ideas was being decimated by students and ‘assistantmanagers’ – it was well-nigh impossible to make sense of the chaos generated by theseunengaged third parties. He wasn’t laughing and joking with Jamie any longer when he leftthe lab to go to the loo. Sometimes, he went there just to get out of the hot, stickymadhouse of the laboratory…. a cubicle was the only place in the entire building whichwas cool, and where you were afforded privacy to think. Jamie wasn’t laughing much thesedays, either.What was going wrong with these reactions? All that had changed was that

Dan could no longer monitor their progress properly, thanks to the chaotic over-use of theglc equipment. He decided that he may as well give up trying to spend any time on hisown allocated project through the day. He’d do that biodegradable musk work in theevening, after the hordes had gone home. Then, at least, he’d be able to follow thereactions in an informed manner. Madness! No-one should have to take such steps inorder to do their job…..He walked back to the lab to find that Sarah had logged him out ofthe computer, without saving any of his data. There was little point in saying anything –that wouldn’t bring the data back. He returned home that night much later than usual, itwas nearly 10pm. Part of him felt vindicated in that his theory had been correct – thosereactions work perfectly well if you’re given the opportunity to monitor them. But he feltbitter that he should be forced to work out of hours to prove the point…at the cost of notseeing his family. He was exhausted. The life of a research worker is similar to that of asufferer of bipolar disorder. Every day is a rollercoaster of ups and downs . Usually, youwork long days, at the end of which your nervous system is depleted ofneurotransmitters, your endocrine system running on empty. Physically and mentallydrained, you make your weary way home, usually with a briefcase full of chemicalliterature which has newly arrived in the library that day, to be read before tomorrow, astomorrow will bring more. More than 99% will be utterly irrelevant, but that 1% might justhelp you make a breakthrough – as long as you see it, realise the implications, and do itbefore anyone else thinks about it. This will be your life, day after day after day afterday…..Until, inevitably, something else happens. It didn’t take long. A couple of weeks later,Charles said that he’d like to see me, he had a few things to say….. he’d like to say themwithout wearing his Quantum hat, and without anyone else around. Well, it won’t be onsite then, as nowhere is safe from prying eyes and ears. I suggested the White Horse inAshbridge, scene of many a protracted synthesis disconnection interview. I said that, thistime, I’d pay, and the cheapskate allowed me to do so. What was it all about? They likedthe ideas I’d given the students (even though, personally, I’d have preferred to have beenable to check them out, first). It was put to me that I could be taken on as a technicalprofessional – a scientist, rather than a lab manager. Then, there would be no need forfurther competition with Karl, who was finding it difficult to match my work rate. I couldn’tbelieve Karl would have thrown in the towel so early, he didn’t seem the type.No….gradually I tease out the fact that Karen, with her knowledge of my Shell reputationas a stamina merchant, has mentioned to Charles that she’s ‘concerned’ about Karl, who isstruggling to keep the students occupied. That was good of her. If I accept this presentoffer, Quantum will now consider someone else to fill the second lab manager position. Iwonder who that could be…?? Oh… and speaking of my work rate – Charles has beeninformed that I was working really late last night. I knew that the informant must beKaren….her time card had been the only other one still in when I pulled mine out, late. Shewasn’t in the lab, though, she must have been upstairs, with her molecular modellingequipment. Charles now tells me that I have to slow down. My work ethos isn’t making theothers look good. Why was I working so hard? Were there any problems at home?

Because, if so, I could confide in him….. as a Christian, he was willing to help. No,mate…..no ‘problems at home’ as you put it. The reason I work so late is because the lab isfilled with chaotic students to supervise. It’s only in the evenings that I can actuallymonitor what’s going on in my reactions. I find that’s slightly more efficient than having tothrow the fuckers away every day, simply because I can’t get access to a glcmachine.‘Charles……how much of a budget do we have for capital expenditure on newequipment in the Novels Group?’ I asked.He immediately became defensive. This wasunexpected!‘We need another glc machine, monitoring reactions is a real bottleneck. Also,they’re all packed column instruments. Capillary glc has been around for over ten years, itgives much better resolution.’‘Really…?’‘And we also need some thin layer chromatographyequipment….TLC.’He looked at me blankly.‘It’s not expensive.’He seemed relieved aboutthat.‘You’ll have to tell me about it, back at the lab.’‘Fair enough. Look, Charles……what hasbeen the basis of our little talk here? I’m being a professional scientist, and I’m being amanager. So, I won’t close down any options as yet.’I didn’t see why I should allow Karenany quick success in her insidious little campaign. However, she’d already been busy whilewe were occupied, still attempting to wind up Angela Swift, still trying to get her dirty workdone through others. That afternoon, I saw Angela in Charles’ office. I’d been aware thatAngela had been complaining for days about not having enough work to do……but, thatdidn’t really affect me, she was one of Karl’s students. I had enough on my plate with Joe,Allan and Terry. Well, Karen had made full use of lunchtime today, sitting beside Angela,offering her ‘advice’….. which was, basically, to tell Charles about the situation, therebyfurther framing Karl. I wasn’t the least bit interested in the outcome, although I did get tohear about it. Charles’ response was that Angela should do literature work during the timewhen she wasn’t carrying out reactions. Meanwhile, I’d regained a reasonably productiveroutine now – keep a close eye on the students from 8am until 5pm…. do biodegradablemusk work from 5pm until 9pm…..that allowed me to perform twenty hours a week of thework I’d been allocated to do, in my own time. Far from ideal, but how else could I manageexpectations in this madhouse? So, I went home that Thursday afternoon, tired, butperfectly content. At the weekend, I was going to go strawberry picking with the family atRyarsh, then have a barbeque, the weather was predicted to remain hot. I was reallylooking forward to some pleasant, family time. But, next morning, Charles Sellinge makesan early appearance in the lab, and I know that this is not good news for someone…..also,from his trajectory, it looks as though that person is me.‘I believe you kindly volunteeredto write a review on the musk area,’ he says, smiling thinly.‘Did I?’ I reply, incredulously.Ihad, on my first day in Novel Materials, been assigned responsibility for keeping the so-called ‘musk file’ up to date. It was a scrappy box file bequeathed by Pete Coggins afterhe’d been sacked. There were maybe a half-dozen equally scrappy papers on musksynthesis within. Keeping it current wasn’t going to be too onerous a task. But, this wassomething entirely different.‘Well, I’ll tell you what we want,’ he continues, knowing fullwell that I had never volunteered for such a task – which was why he was now having toexplain it. ‘This is how it should be organised – break it down into subsections, aromatics,

polycyclics and macrocyclics. What you should be aiming for is a review containing allknown musks…..’(Christ, is that all? Only about 150 to 200 pages, then? Normally, a personwould require a sabbatical year in order to undertake such an endeavour. Is that what youwant? Is that what you’re giving me? And, he wasn’t finished yet, either…)‘….and then, areview of all known methods of making macrocycles. In fact, that would probably best bekept separate. Yes, a separate review…’Dear God, it was obvious that this was completelyad hoc, he was simply making it up as he went along. And, now he comes to the crux ofthe matter, the catalyst which seems to have initiated the entire, futile, exercise…..‘I expectyou’ll need a hand in all of this,’ he continues. ‘In that case, you could use the services ofAngela. Why not have a word with her about it?’And, with that, he simply sallies off again,back to the safety of his office, leaving me in a strange mixture of anger and despair. Whatkind of place is this? It was bad enough beforehand, having to work all hours just to getthe chance to do my work properly. Now, the writing of a review, possibly two, has beendumped on my plate, out of nowhere. That’s not a trivial task, it will require dedicatedeffort, without distraction. To do it properly, most people would require a year, for fuck’ssake. It’s now the end of July, and even if I absolutely break my balls, I’d be lucky tocomplete anything this side of New Year. As for Angela’s ‘assistance’….. she doesn’t knowwhat she’s doing, and she has the attention span of a gnat. You make me laugh, CharlesSellinge, you make me laugh bitterly. Only yesterday, you expressed the opinion that I wasworking too many hours, and even tried to trawl for personal problems. Now, you give meno option other than work all the hours that God sends, and, obviously, my family life willsuffer. You bastard. And, it’s the sly, lying way that you landed this on my plate whichsticks in my throat.* Eventually, Dan figured it out. As if he weren’t working hard enough inNovels, Quantum had decided to squeeze this review out of him, to assist the ProcessDevelopment Group in their search for cheap macrocyclic musks. He’d be doing the jobhe’d initially been hired for, as well as his Novels job, and couldn’t squeak a word ofcomplaint, as he was under contract, and in competition with Karl. Actually, Dan’s work wasprogressing pretty well. He’d made a couple of diol-derived materials which smelledmusky, and wanted to purify them by chromatography prior to short-path distillation, butthere was absolutely no silica in the entire department. He ordered some, although it wasobvious that Marion, the elderly woman responsible for the stores, was far from keen tocomply with the requisition. Then, Dan investigated the use of anhydrides in the synthesisof macrocyclic diesters from long-chain diols. The first reaction worked! He could be on aroll here, and ordered a few more anhydrides. Marion gave him that look again…. Ton paida visit to the lab that Wednesday, he liked a few of the macrocyclic diesters, although Dandid warn him that they hadn’t been purified to his satisfaction as yet. Nonetheless, nextday, the Dutchman returned, this time with Charles, sniffing away at the materials onsmelling strips, while both Karl and Karen looked on from the adjacent laboratory,seething at this success. And, Karl hadn’t spoken a word to Dan since Angela had beensequestered. The silica to purify the macrocyclic musk products hadn’t arrived as yet, andCharles now suggested a gc-sniffing run, to see if any of the odour was due to impurities.

Dan had to enlist the assistance of Ken, as the gc-sniffing machine was his baby. Anothernon-family man, it was the only baby he’d ever have, he and his equally bachelor brotherstill lived with their mother. Ken didn’t hide his delight that there were still some volatilespresent, even though he had to concede that the musky odour was definitely associatedwith the main product, which was already 93% pure. Dan felt a surge of anger, both atKen’s attitude, and at the fact that all of this protracted rigmarole could have beenavoided. Just allow me to purchase some silica, do some chromatography, and the mainproduct would have been over 99% pure. But, first, you have to buy the silica….‘I don’tknow what you’re so fucking happy about!’ Dan flared at Ken. ‘I haven’t actually releasedany of these materials into the system. I told Ton that I hadn’t been able to purify them tomy satisfaction, because Quantum don’t stock silica, apparently. Then, I told Charles thesame thing……then, I told you. But, you are all so bloody impatient, and you have such ahang-up about chromatography.’‘We don’t use chromatography,’ Palm replied,truculently.‘Oh yes you do. What does glc stand for? Gas-liquid chromatography.’‘Wewouldn’t use chromatography when it went to process development,’ he insisted.‘Probablynot, and I’m not arguing with you on that one. But, our job is to get things to processdevelopment. The most efficient way, and the only reliable way to purify a large number ofsmall samples – our job – is chromatography. The most efficient way to purify a reallylarge sample – Chris Oldman’s job – is distillation.’Honestly, it was like explaining things tochildren. These strange people in this backwater have done things in the same way, withthe same mindset, for decade after decade. Dan could almost hear the music from thefilm Deliverance.‘Anyway, if you’re so keen on distillation,’ Dan continued, ‘Why do we haveonly two high-vacuum pumps to be shared between the two labs? At Shell, we had oneeach, and, because we were each responsible for our own, they were clean and well-maintained. Here, there’s only one between three people. When the students are here, theratio is reduced to one between five people. You can be waiting all day for access to apump, then, when you finally get it, it’s full of shit from the previous user, mainly becausethey can’t be bothered to put cardice in the cold trap, to protect the motor. Because theyget abused in this way, they pull a pathetic vacuum…..and, this is the Company whichclaims to favour distillation over any other purification technique??’‘It hasn’t caused aproblem before,’ was the response of the visionary Ken. Now what? Charles has just comeinto the lab with Marion, demanding to know why Dan wants all these anhydrides. Shehasn’t ordered them yet, or the chromatography silica! Instead, she’d shopped Dan toCharlie-boy, bringing it to his attention how much money he was spending. This wasincredible! And, the previous week, Dan had ordered anhydrous copper acetate to carryout an acetylenic coupling. Without any consultation, Marion had changed his order tohydrated copper acetate, as it was considerably cheaper….meaning that Dan was suppliedwith a useless reagent, then had to wait a further three days for the grade required for hisreaction. The sound of ‘Duelling Banjos’ was now really loud in his mind.Next week, thesilica finally arrives. Dan purifies the final products, and is able to demonstrate that thisanhydride methodology is, indeed, a good way to make novel macrocyclic musks. And

what is the response of Charles Sellinge…?‘Oh – it would be a good idea to spread thiswork out amongst the group, have it done as quickly as possible.’Then….Dan has to watchas his shelves are stripped bare of the anhydrides that Sellinge hadn’t wanted him toorder in the first place. A feeding frenzy follows, one in which no-one had any sensibleplans, just a free for all. Dan knew that this was doomed to failure. There were only twovacuum pumps in the place, and only one of these pulled a good enough vacuum to allowthe product to be distilled from the reaction mixture at a sensible temperature. Even thegood pump was soon fucked-up, thanks to the laziness of the Quanties, who could neverbe bothered to fill the cold trap with cardice. Dan’s planned, concise and orderly work wassoon scattered to the four winds.Why..?Same old story. None of these people had anystake in the success of the work. It wasn’t their idea. It was just something they’d grabbed,to give themselves something to do. I am completely disheartened, and also unable to putoff writing the review any longer. Charles tells me that Brian Hall has secretly asked Karl towrite a report on all known methods of making muscone, a macrocyclic ketone. Karl haswaited until he’s almost finished before disclosing what he’s been up to. It turns out thathe has, for weeks on end, been working on his laptop at home, until 1am, sometimes3am, before he’s back in the Department every morning at 7.30am. Karl’s eye is red andswollen from lack of sleep. Brian has also organised a nice little three day visit of ProfessorDHR Barton, to keep everyone on their toes. I can see that Charles is petrified. Not thathe’ll have to do anything. All the presentation work will fall to myself and Karl, who is, ofcourse, another old boy of the Barton network. I’m sick of the lot of them. Preparation ofpresentations will take days. Despite his obviously tired and stressed appearance, Karl istrying his best to wag his tail, like a little dog.‘I can do it on my laptop! I can do it on mylaptop!’I despaired. I used to feel quite good about putting in a bit of work at home. Itused to be that an hour working at home got you ahead of the pack. Now, it appears thateach hour spent not working at home places you an hour behind. What a crazy life.Adverts for Quorn, running currently, show a woman working on a laptop in her kitchen,while preparing a meal. Adverts for ‘Apricot’ laptops come with the tag-line : ‘Set YourWorkforce Free.’Call that freedom….?Look at the state Karl has got himself into, throughoverwork – and, that’s writing a report on muscone, a single molecule……whereas, I’vebeen charged with reviewing every single fucking way of making every single fuckingmacrocyclic molecule – and that will obviously include muscone. But, I can’t back downfrom these ridiculous tasks, any more than Karl can. Now that the summer students aregone, I try to develop a new routine, one which will allow me to tackle this review. It’s aneven more arduous routine than the previous one. I’d be up early in the morning, down toAshbridge by 7.30am, carry out labwork until 4pm, then put that aside and fire up thecomputer. I’d work from then until 8.30pm, typing up text and diagrams from review workI’d prepared at home the previous evening. Drive back to Maidstone for 9pm, get changed,have a rushed bite to eat. By 10pm, I’d be in my study room, where I’d be busy until 1am,reading background literature, getting it into some semblance of order, then preparingdraft text to be typed up – this will actually take place later that same day…. 4pm to

8.30pm. Although I’m exhausted, I can never get to sleep properly, I’m in bed too late, toowound-up, chemical structures revolve constantly before my closed eyes. Every day thesame.I never saw the kids through the week…. for weeks on end, months. And, weekendswould just be an immense clearing house of literature, chemical papers all over the placein my room, trying to get various chemical approaches sorted out into sensible themes,different chapters.This isn’t good for you. My brain would have been bathed in cortisolduring this period. Prolonged exposure to stress hormones is stripping myelin from nerveaxons in the central nervous system. In addition, thanks to the placing of rotaryevaporators out on open benches, the laboratory is absolutely full of solvent fumes, andthese will be doing a similar job. This is not a life. But, what can I do? I’ve got kids. I’ve gotresponsibilities. The weeks went by. Dan’s gruelling routine is now having an effect on hishealth, his immune system collapsing. He’s gasping for breath by mid-November, it’sparticularly bad when he’s trying to get off to sleep at 1.30am….2am… Linda makes amedical appointment for him, it is confirmed that his lungs are functioning at less than40% capacity. His skin breaks out in spots, hives, weals. As the review writing reaches acrescendo, the papers he shuttles to and from Quantum are far too bulky for hisbriefcase, he has to pack the overflow into plastic supermarket bags, carrying them underhis arms like some derelict, to face the disapproving looks of Charles Sellinge, and thesneers from Karl Martin.‘Not finished that, yet….?’The temperature in the lab is 34C, thethermostat broken. It’s an increase of 22C over the previous week, when the bloody placewas stone cold, thanks to the same fault. The urinals in the toilets are blocked, piss allover the floor, the place stinks like a sewer. The roof of the Research Building leaks inseveral places, Dan’s fumehood will fill with water if the wind is in a certain direction, itcauses a sodium hydride fire, and Dan is far from happy about the situation, the entireinfrastructure of these laboratories requires an overhaul, Sellinge has abrogated hisresponsibilities for far too long now. What does that man actually do…? December 1994,and it’s time for Dan to write his first Quarterly Report. Shell used to adopt this reportingmethod, but it was abandoned in favour of comprehensive annual Research Reports, thewriting of which tended to ruin the Christmas ‘holidays.’ Dan wouldn’t mind an inkling ofthe Quantum style – plenty of diagrams and tables, or keep it succinct? Karl is off today,gone down to Canterbury University to use their library, and had the audacity to book aCompany car for his mission. Because of that, he’d submitted his Quarterly Reportcontribution the previous day. Karen, working on the computer in the adjacent lab, hadobviously just come across the document, and couldn’t wait to show it to Dan, she calledhim through….‘Come and have a look at how Karl’s done it….’It certainly made interestingreading. Under the heading of Cosmetics Chemistry, there was the report of making alarge, 390g batch of hydroxy ester which the cosmetics group had required. It all hingedon the new method of making hydroxy acids, involving the clever debenzylation step…..the clever debenzylation step which Dan had suggested, and had then proved feasible bybeing the one who’d actually made this massive batch. However, there was no mention ofDan’s involvement in any of this. It was reported as being Karl’s work.‘I did that!’ Dan

exclaimed to Karen.‘I know…’ she replied.Having an inkling of how Karen operated, Danwas wary. It was obvious, now, that she’d called him through here to bring this to hisattention, ready to sit back and watch the fireworks. Dan is unsure of how to proceed, thesituation holds too many variables. He has not yet given Sellinge a definitive answerregarding whether he wants to be considered as a scientific professional or a manager.The subject hasn’t arisen subsequently. But, suddenly, Dan realises that, if he abrogatesmanagerial responsibilities, he could end up with Karl as his line manager. Jesus wept….The main thing was to get this review completed, and out of the way before Christmas.After that, he’d have time to think properly. Hopefully…Something else happened that day.An Ideas Book has mysteriously appeared in the instrument room. This has apparentlybeen initiated by Karl, and the first two ‘ideas’ are recent musk syntheses, already includedin Dan’s Musk Review, where full credit was obviously given to the authors of thesepapers. In the ‘Ideas Book’, there is a slightly different slant – these appear to be ideaswhich have just occurred to Karl.‘Can someone please tell Karl that an ‘idea’ isn’t justabstracting something from the current literature!’ Dan exclaims. ‘I rather believe that anidea should contain some element of originality. A new method of making alpha-hydroxyacids, for example….’Kim said that she’d tell him.*Dan was up in the library, photocopyingthe last of the references for the review. He hopes to complete this task in just anotherweek or so, then he can maybe get down to planning some work for next year. He wasaware that Richard Baker, the librarian, was hovering nearby, obviously intent on aconversation. Dan and Richard were friendly. Prior to his current job, Richard had been achemist, working for Charles Sellinge, and he was not a fan of the man. Years previously,Sellinge had set Richard the task of making thiols, trace components of exotic fruitflavourings. These materials smell awful at normal concentrations, Richard had to work ina specially built shed outside the Research Department, and the Chemistry suggested bySellinge had been doomed to failure. When, inevitably, it didn’t work properly, Sellingeclaimed to Brian Hall that Richard had let him down. Meanwhile, Richard, effectivelyworking outside in the bitter cold, isolated, ostracised, ridiculed, freezing….. and, now,unsupported as well, decided that he’d had enough of Charles as a line manager. Dan hadnow heard several such stories about Sellinge, many of them much more recent. Thechemist appointed as safety officer for the Research Department had been maderedundant that June, through AVA. He hadn’t been in the job long. Sellinge hadencouraged him to take the post, saying that safety aspects wouldn’t take up too much ofhis time… then, Sellinge reported to the AVA committee that this man wasn’t spendingenough time on chemistry. And, of course, there was the celebrated lack of support shownto Pete Coggins….So, Dan and Richard were always on nodding terms, and sometimes hada lunchtime chat amidst the musty bookshelves, as long as there was no-one else around.For a few minutes, the library was innocent of people, and Richard wandered over to thebench where Dan was organising his photocopies.‘What is it you’re actually doing with allthis stuff?’ he asked.‘Charles said he wanted a review on macrocyclic synthesis. I’m justabout finished now. In fact, it just about finished me…’‘You know what that’s for, don’t

you?’‘Well, actually, Richard….I don’t. It was never properly explained to me, it was justdropped on my lap one day. But, I’m intrigued now…..so, tell me what it’s for.’‘Be easier totell you who it’s for. It’s Chris Oldman who’s behind it. He’s been told by Victor Rinser, thehead of Monolever Chemicals, to make a biodegradable musk for $15 a kilo. Rinserdoesn’t want nitro musks, probably because there have been enough people killed on thissite. He doesn’t want polycyclic musks because they’re not biodegradable. That just leavesthe macrocyclic class, and they’re not exactly cheap to make, are they?’‘That’s anunderstatement. It all makes sense now, Richard…..that macrocyclic diester that Chriswanted me to make when I was in Process Development for a couple of weeks. I actuallysolved that problem, shortly after I went to Charles’ Group – instead of using a diacid, usean anhydride. One alcohol of the diol opens it up, forms an ester, and unmasks an acidgroup at the same time…. right in the vicinity of the other hydroxy of the diol. Thatencourages marocyclisation, and inhibits polymerisation.’‘Very neat – are they going to doanything with it?’‘Probably not. For one thing, Charles allowed a free for all, he let theSpecial Ks loose on it….Karl, Karen, Kim, Ken…. and guess what happened?’‘They fucked itup…?’‘Yep! And, for another thing, after my extensive perusal of the literature, I now knowthat diesters are much too weak in odour terms. The additional osmophore doesn’t dothem any favours. Monoesters are a couple of orders of magnitude more intense. So,what you’re actually looking for is a way of making cyclopentadecanolide orcyclohexadecanolide…’‘…..For $15 a kilo!!’ Richard interjected.‘You see, Richard, today isthe very first time I’ve heard that part of the equation. Why don’t the bastards tell youwhat they want, and why they want it?’‘Because….then you’d know as much as they do,mate!’ Richard grinned. ‘In fact, you’d know much more than they do, because at leastyou’d have a few clues about how to make it a reality. All they have are the dreams. That’swhat this place is….the dream factory. That’s what I’ve always called it. Those bastards,Charles, Ton…..they’re the go-betweens, the brokers…..the Monolever business peoplecome along with their unrealistic expectations, Charles and Ton assure them that it can bedone, then they dump it on the people like you and me – ordering them to make ithappen. When it doesn’t, they go back to Monolever and say they’ve been let down.Happens all the time. Happened to me….’‘You didn’t mention Brian Hall.’‘He’s an out-and-out bastard too, but, at least he’s an upfront bastard. You know where you are with him.And, he knows his stuff. If it can’t be done, he’ll tell the Business it can’t be done…..not likethose other two, crawling, self-serving bastards. They’re the worst kind.’‘You know what,Richard, I’m really glad you spoke to me today. I’ve got more clarity on what’s actuallygoing on, and what is actually required than at any time since I started here. And, it looksas though I’ve been conned into doing a huge Process Development review, somethingthat Chris Oldman or Paul Lamp should have been doing.’‘So….can it be done then? Abiodegradable, macrocyclic musk for $15 a kilo? Those sort of molecules we buy in fromFirmenich and Givaudan, they’re costing up to a thousand pounds for a kilogramme, theytake ten or more steps to synthesise! You can’t make macrocycles for fifteen dollars a kilo.Just another big dream for the dream factory.’‘Well….maybe. There is one, really strange,

single-step process. I wouldn’t recommend it though. You know that big nitro muskexplosion that Quantum had in the 1960s? Well, unless they want a blast that’ll be threetimes more deadly, they’d best forget about it…’‘Go on then….tell me what you’re thinkingabout!’ Richard encouraged.‘Cyclohexanone triperoxide!’ said Dan, nodding his headdefinitively. ‘That’s the only way they’ll get what they want. It’s dirt cheap to make…..and, itdecomposes to give a mixture of cyclopentadecane, and cyclohexadecanolide……’‘Fuckme! You’ve done their job for them.’‘Yeah – if they can live with the fact that the dreamfactory will become the bomb factory. Cyclohexanone triperoxide possesses three timesthe explosive power of TNT.’‘Oh, they won’t worry about that!’ Richard assured Dan. ‘Itwon’t be their head or limbs they’ll be picking out of that field.’Both men were now sittingon the photocopier, looking out of the third floor window to the dismal scene below, thetangle of pipes and valves from the factory, the slit windows of the Compounding building,the broken asbestos roof and patchwork breezeblock walls of the atrociously rundownPilot Plant. Jim, the nitro-musk cripple emerged, swaying obscenely from side to side as hemade his tortured way to the canteen….He was alone, as ever. Dan knew how itfelt.*Karen’s PhD studies had only just begun. Already, they were being toned down fromMolecular Modelling to the more realistic topic of QSAR – Quantitative Structure ActivityRelationships. These factors are routinely taken into account by any chemist seeking tooptimise activity of related molecules. But, having spent thirty grand on a Silicon Graphicsterminal, against an annual chemicals budget which rarely exceeded a thousand poundsprior to the arrival of the Shell boys, it had become necessary to justify the expense. SomeMolecular Modelling pizazz was going to be injected into the QSAR area, come what may.It’s not as though the perfumers or the business would know any better. Meanwhile,Karen’s play for a lab manager position has come to naught. Brian Hall has made it veryclear to her that she will be considered for such a position when she has her PhD. Notbefore.Interviews began to be held for the second lab manager position. One woman wassupposed to give a talk about her work to the department after seeing Brian Hall, but heshowed up in the research conference room without her.‘Where’s Catherine?’ asked ChrisOldman.‘Oh, I’ve left her recovering from the shock of having to do some retrosynthesis,’Hall replied.She’d been left in tears, and she never did show up. The audience in theconference room sat, fidgeting uncomfortably for twenty minutes, then began todisperse. As Richard had noted, Brian Hall was an upfront bastard. Over the course of aweek, there were five or six candidates, and Dan recognised one of them – Tim Mowler.He’d worked in the Shell Molecular Design department, Shell’s Dream Factory of the day,one of the handful of chemists hired to turn the infrequent, impractical ideas of theModellers into reality. There hadn’t been much for him to do. Jamie knew all the Shellgossip about Tim – he was prone to bouts of depression….he’d received two writtenwarnings from the head of Department, Laurie Grundig. One for smashing the sash on afume hood, the other for tearing the door off a glassware oven, he was a strong bastard.He’d upset his technician, Mark Dorchester, so much that Mark had requested a transfer.There would, no doubt, be interesting times ahead. Linda had some training to do, over in

Chatham. I had to take a couple of days off, and they weren’t consecutive. It must havestarted Charles thinking… Next day, he’s at my side first thing.‘It crosses my mind,’ hebegins, ‘That when a member of staff on a temporary contract suddenly has two days offin a week, he may well be seeking more permanent options elsewhere.’‘I’m afraid I can’tsay too much about my reasons,’ I hedged. (‘Jesus….you’d never make a poker player,’ Iwas thinking. ‘Actually, I was only looking after the kids, but you’ve started theconversation on this tack, and your cover is blown.)‘You know…’ Charles continued, ‘Therewill be conversations with Ton and Brian tomorrow regarding the most recent round ofinterviews. It’s my intention to recommend that you be taken on permanently again. Idon’t think either Ton or Brian will have a problem with that.’Good….These guys actuallyhaven’t seen anything close to my full capabilities as yet. To demonstrate what I can do, Ineed to rid myself of the shackles. This review, for instance, almost finished now….To giveCharlie his due, he was as good as his word. Before the end of the week, he returned tothe lab, asking if I’d made up my mind about the scientific versus managerial roles whichwere open to me? Before I could give any sort of sensible answer, Ton was in the labalso.‘Have you got five minutes?’ he asks.I had to go up to his office for a half-hour debrief,the crux of which is that, if I don’t want to accept managerial responsibilities, I can keepdoing what I’m doing, I’ll get a permanent contract as a scientist, and Quantum will hire bigTim Mowler as a lab manager. Presumably, Karl will be the other one, but I don’t ask. I’mquite happy with the result. From what I know of Tim, he’s good at chemistry theory, muchless equipped at putting it into practice….lazy….and socially inept, he continually rubspeople up the wrong way. The ambitious Karl is entirely devoid of scruples, there’s goingto be trouble. And, Karen, with her own ambitions presently thwarted, will ensure that theflames are fanned and given a continual supply of accelerant. The conflict in the labmanager arena isn’t over, it has only just started.On the sidelines, while employed atscientist level on a permanent contract, that’s the best place to be for themoment.Chapter 3Tiny TimTim Mowler was thirty-five years old, six foot five inches tall,and weighed in at around twenty stones. His round, bespectacled face bore a binary rangeof expression – petulant or truculent. It wasn’t difficult to guess that he’d been an onlychild. Like many in that position, he wasn’t all that gifted at reading feedback in any socialsituation. He’d worked at Shell for seven years, finding himself in many scrapes due to justthat deficiency. His technician, Mark Dorchester, refused to work with him after only oneyear, and had been responsible for a painfully cutting article in Shell’s Christmasmagazine. This was the song ‘I’m Too Grotesque’, mocking Tim’s rather bombastic lack ofself-awareness, and scant attention to personal hygiene, to be sung to the tune of ‘I’m TooSexy’ by Right Said Fred. Tim seldom tired of telling others, bosses, peers, colleagues,people passing by on the street, that he was a member of MENSA, the organisation forthose of high IQ. Again, the glazed eyes of his victims didn’t register. However, when thattopic of conversation appeared to be finally exhausted, with grown men actually weepingfrom boredom, he’d tell you about his Apple Mackintosh, and the superior qualities of itsoperating system….usually, at some length. For such an intelligent man, his memory

appeared to be rather poor, as it was likely to slip his mind that he’d made thisinformation available to his victims only the previous day. There had never been a propergirlfriend in Tim’s life. At Shell, there had been some talk that he’d popped his cherry witha girl out in the Czech Republic, but the years passed, and this remained the only tale of acarnal encounter with the fair sex, despite almost daily evidence of clumsy attempts tomake this happen. Tim would have liked a girl with qualities similar to his beloved AppleMac….. responsive to the keystrokes of his thick, stubby fingers, and with vast quantities ofRandom Access Memory which he could fill with his entertaining stories – but, that wasn’tlikely to happen. As a compromise, he’d have accepted a female with the slightly inferiorattributes of a personal computer, even though disparaging towards the products of BillGates and the Microsoft Corporation, but this, too, was a long shot. In fact, he’d settle for awoman whose product specifications were fifteen years out of date, like a SinclairSpectrum or Acorn Electron, but the odds were lengthening even on that outcome. Timhad hoped to leave the nickname Tiny Tim behind at Shell, together with the numeroustales of many upset people in his wake. When he found Jamie and Dan working in thesame group, he was initially dismayed to find that a clean break from the past would notbe possible – not that it would have changed how the future would unfold. It was Tuesday,January 3rd 1995, Tim’s first proper day at Quantum, the lab still quiet following theChristmas break. There was no Charles, no Karen, Kim or Ken… Dan had come in becausehe was due to attend an introductory course. After this, he’d have to remain at home onthe Wednesday, babysitting the boys, Linda would be off in the tiny Fiat to a trainingcourse in Chatham. The empty lab was affording Tim the opportunity to expound in anomniscient manner, dismissive of Dan’s attempts to fill him in quickly on the lie of theland, on possibly the only day of the year where other ears would not be wagging.‘Yes,yes….I know all of this about Charles and Karen!’ Tim exclaimed, irritably. ‘They’re bothuseless! Brian Hall told me this at interview! He said that he was hiring me to shake up thisDepartment, take it by the scruff of the neck….’‘OK, Tim, hold on…’ Dan interjected. ‘BrianHall told me much the same thing. ‘He said that he was glad to have the opportunity tohire people from Shell. He said he was confident they’d do a professional job, much betterthan some of the atrophying deadwood who were stuck in the Quantum system. Doesthat sound familiar? Have I got it just about right..?’‘He did say that…’ he frowned.‘Did hesay that he was underwhelmed by Charles’ abilities? Perhaps mention that running NovelMaterials and Process Development was beyond Charles, who’d just had hisresponsibilities reduced? Brian gave PRD to Oldman, even though he wasn’t confidentabout him, either…’‘Yes, I know. Brian also said that you wanted to be a technicalprofessional, rather than a manager, and that’s why I’m here! Ha!!’‘Look, Tim… I’m trying tohelp. Just be careful. They’ve got us over a barrel for two years in this place, that’s howlong the probationary period is for people at PhD level. They can sack you for just aboutanything up until then. When I joined, they were in the process of ushering some poor guycalled Pete out of the door. And, this is one weird place. I’m still learning about it, trying tokeep my eyes open, and I don’t really like what I see. Talking of PhDs, Quantum are putting

that woman Karen through a PhD at the moment…’‘Karen? Are they…? Nice legs! Her arseis a bit on the large side, though…’‘Yes…. if you could just concentrate for a moment, Tim.Guess what her PhD is on?’‘I don’t know.’‘QSAR…’‘What! Like Patrick Cameron used to do atShell? Everything under the sun can be explained by logP measurements…?’‘It getsworse.’‘Try me….’‘QSAR…..and Molecular Modelling.’‘No!’‘Yes!! Now, you and I have bothhad our share of exposure to QSAR and Molecular Modelling. We know what a crock it allis. Quantum don’t know. To them, it’s all new and exciting. They’ve bought an entry levelSilicon Graphics workstation for Karen, and, tomorrow, she’ll be back with her LadybirdBook of Molecular Modelling for eight year olds. And, even that is actually beyondher.’‘So…?’‘She’s a liability, Tim…… utterly useless at practical work, and she’s thicker thantwo short planks, she could be a member of DENSA. She’s supposed to have gained topmarks at Mid-Kent College when she was doing her GradRIC, and I honestly don’t knowhow. She has no raw intelligence, she can’t make connections. One thing she is very goodat is using her feminine guile and charms – they haven’t done her any harm here. Charlesis infatuated with her….. so is Chris Oldman, she used to be his technician, before he waspromoted to his present job.’‘And, the point is…?’‘Jesus, Tim! I thought you were supposedto be so bright! Karen is desperately ambitious, but she’s already out of her league…..outof her depth, if the truth be told. But, she’s got allies, and she’s not going to let anythingstand in her way. The problem is, you’re now doing just that…’‘Brian told me all of this!’ Timinterjected, not really listening. ‘He told me that the entire Department is useless! CharlesSellinge, Chris Oldman, Karen Ross…..they’re all donkeys!’‘Just be careful, Tim. She wants tobe a lab manager, then, after that, she’s planning to sit that arse of hers in the GroupLeader office. She’s going to see you as a threat, and she’s a nasty piece of work. Already,she spends more time in that office than anywhere else – she’s never out of it with hertittle-tattle. I’ve seen her landing Jamie in trouble, with little ‘innocent’ comments. Becareful what you say to her…..don’t say anything you don’t want to get back to Sellinge. Iwouldn’t be too critical of QSAR and Modelling, at least not while she’s around. I can’t saytoo much myself at the moment – I’m lucky to have a job, I’m still on contract. I’ve hadpromises from them, but no written confirmation that my situation has changed…’‘Yes…yes, Brian Hall told me all about it. I can look after myself, thanks. You’ve only been here afew weeks more than I have, you’ve been rocking the boat, and now you tell me to keepmy head down! I’ve got nothing to fear from them, they’re donkeys! Mind you, I’msomething of a donkey too, but that’s for a different reason…..ha!! Can you guess?’‘No,Tim….I’d never guess. I’m not a member of MENSA, you see….’ Dan broke off theconversation – Karl Martin had joined the two of them, on the periphery, hanging aroundjust within earshot, trying to overhear the conversation. All three of them would beattending the Quantum Introductory Course that day. There was a palpable coldnessbetween Dan and Karl, who had claimed Dan’s novel synthesis of alpha-hydroxy acids ashis own. Karen had ensured that Dan discovered Karl’s underhand misrepresentation, andKim had ensured that Karl was fully briefed on Dan’s feelings on the subject. So much isgoing through Dan’s mind at the moment. Really, it was only the knowledge that he had

no mortgage which allowed him to keep going, to get up in the morning and face anotherday. Then another…..and another. However, were a line to be crossed, were his temper toflare, should he walk out again…. there would be recriminations and upheaval at home,but they weren’t going to lose the house, and nor would they starve. So, paradoxically, itwas because he didn’t have to endure the situation that he had the strength to continue.The first task was to win the race which had been engineered between Karl and himself,and Karl had already shown himself willing to play dirty.And now, the three men, Tim, Karland Dan, make their way to the Introductory Course. Dan watches while Karl sucks up toTim for the entire day, all the while subtly sounding him out. Tim’s limited set of socialskills render him oblivious to what is happening – not that he would have cared, in anycase. Feeling himself superior to lesser mortals, Tim always believed he had little to fearfrom his fellow men. Women may lack the physical strength of men, but they have a muchwider array of weapons at their disposal, honed to perfection over the years. Next daywould be the first opportunity for Karen to subject the big lug to the same scrutiny, intenton ascertaining his strengths and weaknesses. Big Tim’s main strength was his undoubtedknowledge of theoretical chemistry – this ensured that he usually shone at technicalinterviews, were employers willing to overlook his limited ability to interact according toconventional rules. But, Tim’s solo forte was, inevitably, somewhat let down by an inabilityor unwillingness to put theory into practice – he was both clumsy and lazy. Well, Karen maynot determine his strength next day, but she will be satisfied enough to discover a furtherweakness, one which she can exploit. There are little girls who learn, at an early age, topull coyly on the hem of their pretty pinafore dresses with a certain expression in theireyes……it can leave some men helpless. Karen was one of these little girls, and big Timwas certainly one of those men. Charles Sellinge was another, thereby empowering theweak, ineffectual, inefficient, and rather dense Karen, who, nonetheless, possessed a slowcunning. It’s an interesting word, cunning – from its root, inextricably linked to the femalesex. Thereby, Tim had more to fear from Karen than even Karl could muster. And, Karl wasa bastard.I was off work next day, Wednesday January 4th 1995, and was up early,watching the changing light. A little flurry of snow soon became a swirling blizzard of hugesnowflakes, settling into deep drifts as the skies cleared, just as the boys got out of bed.We had the most terrific fun together – I tethered the sledge to Colin’s BMX bike, and wewent out into the snow covered pavements of Maidstone, the boys shrieking with laughteras I powered the bike down the steep hill of Palmer Road, towing them behind. Other kidscame out and joined in with sledges of their own, or ambushed us with snowballs. Then,we went up to the recreation ground had sledge races until late in the afternoon. It wastime to return home. I’d been behind David as he walked eagerly up to the top of the backgarden with the sledge, intent on one more ride. His gait was so purposeful, and so full ofobvious enjoyment, I suddenly wished I had a video camera to record this fleeting instantin our lives. The winter sun low in the sky, David was back-lit as a silhouette, casting a longshadow down a garden of unblemished white as he tramped to the top with his sledge.My heart was full of love for him, an innocent child having fun in the snow – how transient

and poignant that moment is, it could not be captured. Unfortunately, Colin went indoors,locking out myself and David for his amusement. Then, he let David in through thewindow, David started swinging on the curtains, he pulled down the whole fixture,breaking all eight brackets. How quickly things change! I had no time for further musings, Iwas too busy trying to regain the status quo. This, increasingly, is an uphill task. I return towork on the Thursday, to face the unexpected news that my day off yesterday has causeda certain amount of consternation. Charles had been back, Brian Hall had asked him for asummary of everything that had been done at Quantum on biodegradable musks. Despitethe fact that he’s been Group Leader of Novel Materials for maybe fifteen years, Charleswas, of course, unable to answer. He’d come looking for me, then had to return to Brianwith his tail between his legs. Brian would have kept him on the hook, probing the level ofCharles’ knowledge and understanding of the chemistry carried out in his own group,revelling in Charles’ discomfiture, I’ve seen him do this so often, now. And, to deflect theheat, Charles has made an issue out of my absence, saying that I should have been atwork.This is utter bollocks…… also, rather unhelpful to someone in my present position,apparently in a no-man’s land between a contract and regaining a permanent post. I’dcertainly cleared the Wednesday as holiday, it had been agreed with Charles well inadvance, mid-December last year, as soon as I knew about Linda’s training course. My onlyhope would be if I’d kept a copy of the e-mail, but I wasn’t hopeful. There tends to be a bigclear out on the final few days before Christmas. Anyway, didn’t big Tim have a tongue inhis head, why didn’t he say something? I’d certainly told him I’d be taking a day off to lookafter the boys…. While still aghast at the news that I was, unjustly, in the black books, alongcomes Will Smyth, wise-guy from the Process Development Group. He is a time-keeper,someone allocated by management to check the time-clocks, see who’s swinging the lead,tell tales… He breezes into the lab with his pathetic clip-board under his arm, marches upto me….‘How would you like your day off yesterday?’ he asks, with an insinuating leer.‘Holiday?.... Flex?..... Unauthorised absence??’Will had taken a dislike to me from Day One.In turn, I’d developed a distaste for him, a healthy and growing abhorrence, one fromwhich a Glasgow kiss could evolve with very little encouragement. Presently, I settled onlooking at him as though I’d just discovered some dog shit on my shoe……and, took mytime before answering.‘I think I’ll just settle on holiday, thanks. That would be holidaywhich was cleared by Charles before Christmas. That would be holiday which you,therefore, should be aware of.’‘Well, I don’t have a note of it. And, it was also a mystery toall of your colleagues.’He toddled off in his self-righteous way. I hadn’t had time yet tocheck e-mails. I went through every CCMail message I’d sent in December, not confidentthat I’d have saved this one…….But, I had.I went straight across the corridor to the ProcessDevelopment lab, collared Will Smyth.‘Have you got a moment?’ I virtually pushed himback into our lab, and pointed to the computer screen.‘I really don’t know why Charles waslooking for me….. because, it says there, quite clearly, that I’ll be off on Wednesday 4thJanuary……. and, as you can see, he’s agreed to it. Then, he sends that information to you,for your little daily sneak routine. So, what’s the problem? Or, are you as incompetent with

that fucking clipboard as you are with everything else?’He was all defensive now.‘Thereisn’t any problem,’ he said weakly.‘Good! Goodbye!’Of course, all the other big ears werelistening now.‘Is everything all right?’ Ken asked Will, sympathetically.‘Yes… it’s only takenthree days back to get demotivated,’ he replied, glaring at me. Dan set about the businessof the day as best he could. Throughout the final quarter of 1994, he’d juggled reviewwriting with other random tasks which would find their way towards him….. Ton, obsessedwith cheap undecylenic acid as a starting material for macrocycles, sought ways tofunctionalise it to 10-chloro-undecylenic methyl ester as a suitable intermediate… in onestep. Meanwhile, Brian Hall’s favourite macrocyclic musk was muscone, available at £850 akilo from Firmenich. Hall wanted Dan to cost a new muscone synthesis which had justappeared from BASF. It used a novel catalyst for the penultimate ring-forming step, in aninternal aldol reaction. The big problem was the tortuous synthesis of the 2,15-hexadecanedione used in the aldol step….. there were around eleven steps involved inmaking this precursor, rendering the route far too expensive. ‘Little jobs’ like these wouldland on his desk daily. When I say desk, I mean the bench area allocated for paperwork,less than three foot square, and adjacent a shared computer, which was now, obviously,going to be hogged by Tim all day. Dan was keen to initiate projects which would bear hisown stamp, get these up and running. He had the ideas, he just needed the time. And, hecertainly wasn’t about to extend assistance to Karl in any further problem areas, now thathe’d seen the inevitable outcome, where it would be portrayed as all Karl’s work. If hecould just get the last of that undecylenic acid work completed, get it written up into areport for Ton….. mind you, this is now going to have to be word processed in the evening,once Tim has gone home. Give Tim a choice between working and pissing about on acomputer, and there’s not going to be much work done. Every five minutes, he calls youover to show how much easier it is on a Mac…… While Dan is setting up a final undecylenicacid reaction, Karl saunters over to the other side of the bench, the paperwork side.Without so much as a by-your-leave, he begins to flick idly through Dan’s lab-book, therecent undecylenic acid reactions….‘Are you still working on this?’ he asks.‘Yeah. Not formuch longer, though, otherwise it’ll become the iso-ceramide of the fragrance world. Haveyou made that yet?’Dan knew the answer to that one. Karl had been trying to make thissince he first arrived back in the late spring of 1994, so far without success. Dan also knewthat the best way to make it involved generating an isocyanate precursor, easy enough ifyou know how. Karl could find out for himself. Anyway, suitably stung by Dan’s retort, Karlwalked off without a further word. Just as with the little pleasantry with Will Smyth earlier,Dan knew that he was simply making deadlier enemies. But, what can he really do aboutit…? Dan has been studying the Fragrance Literature during every spare moment sincejoining the Novels Group, and those studies are now beginning to bear fruit. He hasspotted that there are structural similarities between molecules which give sandalwoodand amber odour – and, that if the side chains are oxidised, a muguet odour is likely toresult. This connection allows him to plan a range of new molecules, through Wittig-Horner reaction, reduction of the unsaturated ester products to give sandalwood and

amber alcohols, then oxidation of these to give muguet aldehydes. By the end of January1995, he has made six materials which have been passed by the perfumers, who wantthese to be tested in various applications at the different Monolever sites….. finefragrances in Paris and Manhattan, household products in Holland, detergents in PortSunlight, etc. It is, basically, secondary screening, and referred to as sending a material‘around the world’. Several hundred grams of each material would be necessary. It is anastounding result, and is met with glum faces from the others in the Novels Group.Subsequently, Karen has spent a great deal of time in Charles’ office. Today, Dan is loftilyinformed by Charles that Karen will take over the muguet work, as this odour area isrelevant to her QSAR studies. Dan knows that this is a swizz. Having made all the alcohols,he now has to hand these over to Karen. She can’t wait to get started. All she has to do isoxidise these to aldehydes and pick up the credit. She couldn’t even do that properly. Danhad used a PCC oxidation to make his aldehydes…..Karen decides that she will use calciumhydride to dry the dichloromethane solvent, and Dan notices that she is somewhatcavalier in its disposal. She empties it into her sink, and is lucky not to have an immediatefire. She scrapes up the smouldering residues into a large amount of paper towel, thensurreptitiously places the debris in Dan’s chemical waste bin, when she thinks he’spreoccupied with writing a report. As soon as she leaves the lab, Dan takes the waste binout to the skip, pronto. Later that day, there’s an e-mail from Chris Oldman, describing howhe’d found a fire in the skip. Karen says nothing to begin with. Later that afternoon, she’shaving a guilty little conversation with Ken, so Dan strolls over to make it awkward for her.Embarrassed, she eventually includes Dan in the conversation.‘I think that might havebeen caused by me, you know,’ she admitted.‘The thought had crossed my mind,’ Danreplied.‘Well, it can be our little secret, then.’‘Yeah….our little secret. But, that wasn’t thecase when the rain caused a sodium hydride fire in my fumehood, was it? No-one elseneed have known, but it was Karen who insisted that a safety report would have to befilled in, thereby involving Charles Sellinge, Ton van der Waals, Brian Hall, Neil Vincent,Uncle Tom Cobbley et al….Not that anyone could say much to me – the sodium hydridecaught alight because my fume hood was swimming in water, thanks to how shoddily ithad been constructed. And what would be done about it?….That’s right, nothing! Theytried and tried to classify the incident as caused by poor housekeeping, I insisted that itwas a building maintenance issue – and that it should be addressed ASAP. If there were nomoney in the budget, the budget hadn’t been set properly. It was exactly the same withthe lab equipment – there are now a grand total of zero operational vacuum pumps dueto poor maintenance. We need one each, for which we have individual responsibility. Lookat Charles there, burying his head in the sand. He spends an entire morning decidingwhere to put up a safety poster ‘QUANTUM WANT YOU TO WORK SAFE’, yet steadfastlyignores an ingress of rainwater in the presence of pyrophoric reagents. And I think anadverb is required on your poster, ie SAFELY. Meanwhile, Big Tim is oblivious to any of thepractical and safety problems in the lab. He has spent the entire month of January on thatcomputer, putting his literature card indexes from Shell into a database. People are

scratching their heads, wondering how this advances our knowledge, or gets us any closerto a new fragrance material, but he’s in his own little world. This is probably what he usedto do in Shell’s SMD Department, he certainly wasn’t noted for the number of newmolecules he made. Karen has already landed him in the shit. She’s been in Charles’ office,in tears, because Tim has stated that he doesn’t believe in Molecular Modelling….. and,Tim has been publically hauled over the coals about this, given a dressing down in front ofthe entire Group, to Karen’s obvious satisfaction. Chris Oldman isn’t enthusiastic aboutscaling up the materials to go around the world, so I now have six large scale syntheses onmy hands. He says PRD are ‘too busy’, due to their quest for a biodegradable macrocyclicmusk costing $15 a kilo. They’ve now hired a new PhD chemist, Simon Elmore, aMonolever man from Port Sunshine, he’s poring over the review I wrote, and I could savehim a job – for that price, they’ll have to use the Story Process, with all its unpredictable,explosive connotations. Due to the lack of operational vacuum pumps, I’m unable to purifymy large scale batches by distillation. I am working late, running practice TLC conditions,attempting to ascertain the best solvent to use for purification by chromatography. Thisdoes not count as practical work…… but, what’s this? Chris Oldham comes striding into thelab at exactly 7pm, the cut-off time for out-of-hours working.‘You are now in serioustrouble!’ he blusters. I got the impression that he’d been deliberately waiting all day to dothis. Was his visit precipitated by that fire today? I wasn’t too bothered. The guy was abully, a big, bloated barrel of lard.‘Yeah? Why’s that, then?’ I asked, unconcerned.‘You’reworking here with no-one else in the lab.’‘You’re here.’‘You know what I mean.’‘No, Chris, Idon’t know what you mean. I’m checking some TLC conditions. That’s not doing chemistry.There are no reactions running in my fumehood. Have you been skulking around all night,to come round and try to catch me out? How sad! I’m going home now, maybe you shoulddo the same. See ya…’I began to pack my briefcase….‘I’m still going to have to report thisto Ton and Brian,’ said Oldman.I looked at him….‘Yeah, Chris….. don’t tell me, let meguess…… it’s your duty! Well, go ahead, mate, be my guest, as that’ll help things to kick off.I happen to know who was responsible for that fire this afternoon. The culprit is wellaware of it too, but hasn’t filled in an accident report form. That’s something which otherpeople have to do. I also know that this has happened because they haven’t been trainedproperly, the person concerned is entirely ignorant of how to handle that particularchemical safely. That’s a management responsibility, and the person concerned used to beyour technician. Now, what about my recent fire? That happened because my fumehoodfilled with water, it’s not fit for purpose, and, again, that’s a management responsibility.I’ve filled in all the forms, and has anything been done about it? Any repairs beenapproved? Can you see where this is going now, Chris, or do I have to spell it out furtherfor you? Go ahead and make some trouble for me tomorrow, because then I’ll stir ashitstorm….and, I’ll make sure that lots of that shit lands on you – and a few otherdeserving cases…’He went out, utterly seething. I was going to have to be careful ofhim….and Karl…and Will Smythe. Three in one day. Not bad, usually there’s at least a half-dozen daily incidents.I was seething myself. Fuck them, if this was all the encouragement

they could offer you, giving your work away to other people, sneaking around, trying tocatch you out. Fuck the lot of them. I decided to have a day off on the Friday, I had somesafety concerns of my own, closer to home, the Maestro required a new petrol tank.Charles again reckoned I was off for an interview, disclosing as much when he pulled meinto his office on the following Tuesday – finally confirming that I was now a permanentmember of staff again, and on the same salary, despite the fact that I had no managerialresponsibilities….* The results on Dan’s materials came back from the units around theworld – five out of his six materials went straight into Development, where Chris Oldmanproceeded to do nothing with them. By summer, Oldman was attempting to get thesemolecules off the books without having carried out a single practical experiment. Thevenue was a Process Development Progress meeting, up in the Research ConferenceRoom, the venue attended by most of the Department. The subject of Dan’s materials hadjust come up.‘Oh, we got Will to make one of them,’ Oldman explained. ‘Then we costed it.The route is far too expensive for the odour area.’Ton nodded his head, sagely. Dan hadbeen wondering why this meeting had been called while Brian Hall was in the States, and,suddenly, it made sense. These jokers can pull the wool over everyone else’s eyes, but notBrian. However, there’s something going on there, too, Brian has been spending more andmore time in the US…..Well, it’s time for you to say something, Dan.‘Just a minute, Chris.Did you say that all you’ve done is repeat my process?’‘We wanted to make sure we got thesame yields as you did,’ Oldman glared.‘And….were you disappointed?’‘We got the sameyields,’ he conceded.‘And….were you disappointed?’ Dan persists. A few giggles from thecognoscenti at this point….mainly Jamie, who knows the score. Largely, however, thiscomment simply brings more glares. Oh well, may as well be hung for a sheep as alamb….‘I thought that it was the Process Development Group who were across thecorridor,’ Dan continued. ‘Not the Process Repeat Group. I wish you’d been so keen to dothat when the materials were going out around the world, it would have saved me a lot ofeffort. So, Chris….what you’re saying is that you haven’t actually done any ProcessDevelopment?’‘We’ve had a look….on paper…..Simon, Paul and myself. We’re happy thatthere isn’t any cheap enough way of making these. Why, what are you implying? Have yougot a suggestion that we should know about..?’‘Yes….that you should go and fuck yourself!’was the first thought in Dan’s mind, but he banished it with admirable restraint as he tookto the floor.‘How about this, then, Chris? Start with an alkene…… to put the side-chain on,react it with propylene oxide, in the presence of some catalyst…..a Lewis Acid, perhaps.That’ll give you the molecules in one step. The molecules we both want to do so well…..’‘Isthis reaction known?’ Oldman countered. ‘Is there any precedent for it in theliterature?‘Well, I haven’t run a REACCS search. Again, I rather presumed that to be yourjob.’ Another murmur of laughter in the room. It’s suddenly become obvious to a fewpeople that they’re witnessing a duel. ‘It’s just a route that has occurred to me as analternative to the methodology which I actually used. And, once more, it’s something that Ireally rather thought was your actual job. Maybe were you to invite me to the discussionsheld with yourself, Simon and Paul….’‘Perhaps you could arrange that in future, Chris,’

interjected Ton, crisply. ‘And, what is your opinion on Dan’s proposal…?’‘Well…without anyknown prior art…. I’ll believe it when I see it.’ The laughter comes from those on theestablishment side this time, and, inevitably, it’s louder. This is all that’s required for Danto get the bit between his teeth and try the reaction for himself. By the end of the week,it’s been carried out and written up into a report which has been e-mailed to Chris… andBrian and Ton. It’s a new reaction, it generates unsaturated alcohols and aldehydes, bothof immense use in the fragrance industry. Dan already knows that he’ll be able to publish,once he’s ascertained the scope and range of the reaction. But, as usual, once a discoveryhas been made, and demonstrated to be viable, the rug will be pulled from under the feetof the inventor….. In the lab, he’d begun to demonstrate the generality of the reactionwhich generated aldehydes from alkenes and epoxides. Dan was both excited and happy.This was an important and consequential discovery, it would be of great use in thefragrance industry. Quantum would hold the rights to it once it had been patented, andhe’d be able to write an academic paper in the literature. He’d already decided to take hisfamily on holiday, to Florida. And, he’s going to purchase a video camera, so that theseprecious family days can be retained, in some form. Now, he could set off in a good frameof mind, relaxed, with all this work waiting for him when he returned, the boundaries ofthe reaction still to be defined. After his holiday, he’d be able to drive down the M20 in themorning, actually looking forward to coming to work… maybe for several weeks. It’s not alot to ask…. He was carrying out a reaction using cyclooctene when Jamie came round tohis bench, with an alert.‘God! Charles is calling one of his Group Meetings for ten o’clock.What’s happening, Dan?’‘Don’t ask me, mate! You know what an old woman he is….. it’ll bemuch ado about nothing.’Dan had a look at his watch….9.50am. As usual, Charles justexpects everyone to drop what they’re doing and snap to attention at his command. Theexpected product of this reaction is an aldehyde, which will now have oxidised to an acidbefore the morning is out. Oh, well, no time to do anything about it now. He went throughto the office, to unexpectedly find that he was to be the star turn…‘Do you all know aboutDan’s successful reaction?’ Charles exhorted. A sea of resentful faces looked back.‘Perhaps, Dan can tell us all about it…’Yeah…thanks for the warning, Charles. So, now I hadto stand up, cold, and spill my guts, not a pretty sight. And here come the vultures to pickover the entrails. I’ve already submitted two patents which will cover the six materialswhich have been round the world, performing well in applications. The molecules wouldbe storming through Development phase, if Chris Oldman could be arsed. Today, bothKarl and Tim ‘volunteered’ to add extra resource – but not to help me. They want to usemy novel reaction to make further novel molecules of this type, sniffing an opportunity toget their names on the patents. All very magnanimous, I don’t think. How they can dothese things with such a fucking poker face?For the moment, Charles brushes the ‘offer’aside.‘Well, thank you. However, Ken is available to give Dan a hand.’Over the past year,no matter what the official stance is regarding ‘no managerial responsibilities’, Dan hasbeen managing the resource of Ken Palm. Last summer, while providing projects for thesummer students, Dan found himself expected to employ Ken also, and Ken has

subsequently relied on Dan for daily guidance and advice. Dan was interested to see howthe situation would change on the arrival of Tim, but it remained exactly as it was. Tim hasstarted no new work, he’s been entrenched in front of that computer – making a list ofcheap reagents, now. Dan would have taken Tim to one side, suggested that it was time,perhaps, to get off his arse….. but, it’s not easy to advise Tim. Worse, it looks as thoughTim has been biding his time so far as practical work is concerned – with no obvious ideasof his own, he’s been waiting for a sure thing to come along, some guaranteed success hecan latch onto. Dan expects such behaviour from Karl. He’d have given Tim the benefit ofthe doubt until now. Sadly, Dan accepts that he doesn’t really know Tim, they worked indifferent Departments at Shell after all, and any information which did ooze out regardingthe big bastard was never good.‘So….’ Charles continues, ‘Perhaps if Ken carries out thepropylene oxide work, broadening it out into all the available alkenes we have, includingterpenes, then Dan can be filling out the rest of his patent using the Wittig-Horner route.’ Meanwhile, the Group Meeting progressed, and the next question was who was going tobe the safety representative for the Group? This had previously been carried out by acertain Neil Vincent, who’d been encouraged to take up the role… then, last summer,Charles had told the Activity Value Analysis Group that Neil was spending too much timeon safety, not enough time on chemistry, and tried to have him sacked. Neil had,fortunately, secured a transfer out of Charles’ Group to the Safety Department proper, justin the nick of time. He was now the Research Safety Officer, and he was useless, althoughthat only partially excuses the despicable actions of Charles. That entire SafetyDepartment was filled with Charles’ victims. The Site Safety Officer, Bruce McAndrex, hadonce been in the running for Charles’ job, they were peers. To sort out the rivalry betweenthem, Brian Hall had, fifteen years previously, arranged for them to do one year post-docsat Massachusetts Institute of Technology. McAndrex was first out, doing a project on theacetylation of cedrene. But, when it was the turn of Sellinge, he didn’t attempt any originalwork – instead, he tore the work of McAndrex to pieces, demonstrating how flawed it was,leaving McAndrex in disgrace. The pressure was on Kim, who’d taken over temporarilyfrom Neil, and she buckled.‘OK…. ‘ she said, breaking the interminable silence. ‘I’ll do thesafety job.’ Everyone trooped out of the rather fraught meeting at 12.30pm. And, afterlunch, what was the first thing that Kim did, on assuming her role as Safety Officer for theNovels Group? She set herself alight….. adding 10% Palladium on Carbon to her reactionmixture, which contained methanol as the solvent at ambient temperature. Of course, thewhole fucking thing exploded! Dan just happened to glance through to the adjacent lab,to see her engulfed in flames. She’d been adding the catalyst with a spatula, and, in fright,she’d withdrawn her hand so quickly that she’d put the spatula through her lip.Meanwhile, her other hand, holding the flask, had jerked up, showering her in blazingmethanol. Everyone ran through and extinguished the flames on her clothes using carbondioxide extinguishers. Fortunately, the damage seemed confined to a burned hand and acut lip. Karl took her over to Medical, while Dan dealt with the remainder of the fire, stillburning on the bench. Next day was a Friday, and Dan was able to get on with his work in

peace, or so he thought. He did notice, however, that Sellinge always had someone in theoffice…first Karl, then Tim…..then, Karl again. It was 4pm before Sellinge came through tothe lab, standing awkwardly behind Dan, looking over his shoulder, until Dan waseventually forced to acknowledge his presence. That was when Sellinge pounced, withoutpleasantry.‘Perhaps you should come through to my office, to discuss what to do aboutthe patent case,’ he said.‘I thought we’d agreed it, yesterday….’ Dan began. But, Sellingehad already turned, walking back towards the office. As soon as Dan had joined him, heclosed the door.‘It appears that there’s going to be far too much work for you to do,’ hebegan.‘I don’t think so…’‘Well, why don’t you write up all the things you think it would beworthwhile doing?’Suspecting nothing at this stage, Dan took the marker, and the white-board was soon covered with his ideas. Then came the body blows, one after theother…..‘Karl has offered again to help out with the propylene oxide reaction. Perhaps hecould do some work on terpenes.’‘I thought Ken was going to do that, under mysupervision!’ Dan protested, but to no avail.I could see that I was on the losing side ofwhatever lobbyists and pressure groups had been at work in Charles’ office today. And,the use of terpenes as starting materials would have been Charles’ baby not Karl’s. Charleswas always keen on using terpene feedstocks, as they were cheap and readily available.Personally, I had my doubts about their use in this particular reaction – too many doublebonds. As soon as a carbocation was generated, as it would be in this particular reaction,any feedstock with multiple unsaturation would rearrange. Karl may not find the outcometo be so straightforward as he thinks. With Ken, I’d have guided him gently in the directionof terpene reactants with only one double bond…..Karl can find out for himself. It mayteach the little bastard a lesson. Unfortunately, I’d also put up on the board how thereaction could be applied to musks. Sellinge was intrigued by the proposals, I could tellthat he was particularly keen on this aspect.‘Where will you find the time to do the muskwork?’ he asked.‘Oh, I can fit that in between everything else,’ I replied. I was even moreenthusiastic than Sellinge to see this work carried out. Musk had been my main area sincejoining Quantum, and this completely new reaction would afford the opportunity toquickly generate many novel molecules which should exhibit high value muskproperties.‘We’d also like Tim to be working on musks,’ Sellinge said, flatly. ‘Perhaps weshould tell him about it.’And, without a further word, he simply about-heeled out of theoffice, through to the lab, where he summoned Karl and Tim in front of the white board. Ihad a really bad feeling about this, now…Firstly, Sellinge gave Karl the news that it wouldbe OK for him to do the terpene work… it was then I knew for certain that Karl had beenkeeping up the pressure to get in on the act. Then, Sellinge turned to Tim….‘And, as Dan sorightly points out, this reaction could also be used in musks.’Charles illustrated the pointon the board.‘I was thinking about that,’ said Tim. ‘I was going to do it next week.’Thissentence changed my opinion of Tim forever. He went from being someone I didn’t mind,someone I could tolerate, to just another of the lying, self-serving bastards you comeacross throughout life. Even so, it was difficult to come to terms with the sheer audacity ofthe statement he’d just made. If he’d been thinking about it, he certainly hadn’t shared his

thoughts with me. And, where was he going to get the starting material? The reaction Iwas proposing was based on a specialised alkene, Traserolide Stage 4, an intermediateyou could only obtain in-house from Holland…. an intermediate I’d been doing otherreactions on for weeks, I had a big bottle of the stuff – Tim didn’t even know of itsexistence. I stood, amazed, feeling that I’d been kicked in the stomach. I hated Charles, Karland Tim with an unsurpassed vitriol at that particular moment. Those who have neverbeen in this particular position can say all they like about ‘teamwork’ but a situation likethis does not fit the category. It is plagiarism….theft, actually. Ask yourself this – who,having made all of the running, would pass the ball to a team-mate in front of an emptygoalmouth, so that the other person could take the credit? Especially if you knew them tobe so incompetent that they were likely to miss? Tim was leaving early, off to see hisparents. I noticed that he scribbled down the idea on a piece of paper before leaving, thenlocked it in his drawer. So much for his claim to Charles that he’d been thinking about it! Imade up my mind, there and then, that I would never, ever offer survival advice to thisman ever again. Instead, I’d now stand back and watch when he, inevitably, fell victim toKaren’s cunning, Karl’s scheming, and his own arrogance. I knew it wouldn’t take long.Goodbye, Tim….Chapter 4Probationary PeriodTim has already been complaining aboutthe overcrowded, cluttered laboratories. He’s yet to experience what it will be like whenthe 1995 crop of summer students are crammed in, all of them inexperienced, untidyworkers. This could be interesting….Charles winces as Tim demands to know where,exactly, six additional people are expected to work? Ton is listening in, initiallydisinterested, but his ears prick up when Tim makes a direct attack on Charles’management style, a derogatory comparison to an army officer of World War 1 – GeneralHaig, for example, living a life of luxury, remote from the realities of life in the front linetrenches.‘It’s all very well for you, Charles, sitting there in your office. The presence of sixextra people is hardly going to inconvenience you in any way.’There is no answer to Tim’sperfectly valid point. But, Ton and Charles exchange a significant glance…. Now, big Timshould have been free to speak his mind, in fact he was being encouraged to do so, byboth Charles and Ton. Mid-1995, there had been an apparent step-change in howMonolever ran its European business. A persistent rumour circulated that Monolever wereaware of the problems caused by how it chose to operate, deliberately utilisingmanagement bullies who fitted a certain psychometric profile. They are attempting toaddress the issue by introducing something called Core Values, which will give staff theopportunity to speak up, without fear of reprisal. This may seem to be a good thing – but,Brian Hall is dead set against it, and there may be unexpected consequences. There arerumblings that if Monolever persist along this path, Brian will leave, and take up a postwith National Adhesives, a Monolever business in the USA, where Core Values will not beintroduced. If this happens, it will leave all three Shell boys, hired by their mentor to shakethe place up, rather exposed…. particularly Tim, who is now being especially vociferous.Having been asked by Ton and Charles to state exactly what he believes to be wrong inhow the laboratories are run, he has interpreted the request literally. But Ton and Charles

are still working to the old rules, and expect to be told only what they want to hear. Theseguys both know that they will have to make a public show of embracing Core Values…. but,they have no intention of following the actual principles. Nor have they any idea what sortof issues will be raised, how many cans of worms will be opened, and they still cling to aforlorn hope that the rollout of this new dawn may yet be averted. What they didn’t expectwas straight talking, they aren’t used to it, and they fear what it may lead to. Dan’spropylene oxide reaction, now well and truly wrested from his grasp, has had furtherknock-on effects. At the insistence of Charles, it’s going to employ all six of those summerstudents…. and, the febrile atmosphere has finally prised Tim away from the computerscreen and into the lab where he, too, will now have to compete for the laughably lackingresources and equipment. Familiar students begin to arrive, the same smug, self-satisfiedfaces. Terry Dally is first. Dan had clocked him as a dodgy customer previously, andsnippets of overheard conversation do little to dispel this impression – in fact, Dan nowextends the opinion towards Terry’s entire family. His aunt is apparently involved inbringing East European girls to the UK. Now, Dan doesn’t know what line of employmentthese Romanian and Bulgarian females are headed for, nor does he really wish tospeculate. All he does know is that one of them has already offered Terry’s young friendAllan Happy a ‘free’ handjob beneath a table in the Hogshead, a pub in Earl Street.Anyway, within hours of the appearance of Terry and Allan, both glc machines are out ofcommission, the columns ruined, and there are no spares. Fragile glc injection syringesare ‘borrowed’ then left lying around dirty, until they seize up. Glassware drawers arerifled, the contents pilfered, then abandoned, no-one knows where. It is all verydisheartening. But, this year brings a further consequence. The stakes in the slowpoisoning race have been considerably raised – the lab is now filled with propylene oxidefumes, courtesy of at least nine people using this reagent, stripping it off with rotaryevaporators on the open bench.‘This is ridiculous! It’s breaking the law!’ Tim fumes, butDan lost patience with Tim long ago, and has precious little tolerance these days.‘Well, Itold you about this, yet you were happy enough to ignore it when it didn’t affect you. And,at the end of the day, you’re the fucking lab manager! Isn’t that what you told me? I’m thetechnical professional, remember? You fucking should do. It’s my reaction that’s keepingall of these students busy…..and you.’ Core Values will be held off-site. Enlightenment willbe dispensed by outside consultants, over the course of three days, at Eastwell Manor. Toprevent it coming to blows, it is to be rolled out in stages, higher management first, thenmiddle managers, finally the plebs, dotted with a few establishment eavesdroppers. In themiddle strata, Ton and Charles are nervous, afraid that a few home truths are about to beaired. They want, desperately, to anticipate and defuse the likely issues. So, a series ofinitiatives are launched to get some of the dirty laundry out of the bag, maybe it can evenbe washed pre-emptively.It’s a good plan. What lets it down are the simple facts as to whyCore Values was deemed necessary in the first place – these guys are concrete-thinkingbullies, used to getting their own way. Anyone speaking their mind in their presence willbe batting on an extremely sticky wicket – their card will be marked, despite the forums

being touted as safe spaces to be open and honest, no matter how critical ofmanagement practice. Initiative #1 rolls painfully into action – Charles invites the entireGroup, and their spouses, to an informal Indian meal in Ashford. That is, he decides onthis course of action, then delegates all organisation of the evening to Karen.‘What’s goingon here, then?’ Jamie asks Dan. ‘Are you going to bring Linda?’‘No, I’m not, Jamie. I’m goingto go and have a few drinks, and I’m going to keep quiet. This place would run muchbetter without Charles, he knows that, too, and he is one devious, scheming bastard. It’sonly Brian Hall that’s keeping him in check. We’ve upset the pecking order in Charles’ cosylittle empire, and he’s got one thought in his head – Karen is to be his heir apparent, sothat the mediocrity can continue. So….he’s on the lookout for friction from you, me, Karl,and especially Tim….anything he can use to make trouble, get us fighting amongstourselves. That way, we leave him alone, and he can report the culprits to Ton, giving useven more problems, as if we don’t have enough. I’m not going to oblige him….’‘I see whatyou mean. Anyway, Tim will provide plenty of material!’‘Yes, he will, although I’ve tried towarn him. You know what he’s like, though.’ Even if she’d wanted toattend, Linda would have been obliged to drive down to Ashford by herself in her littleFiat. And, who was going to look after the boys? That day was the first day of thePerfumery Course, and we attended with our new photo ID cards, issued that morning.The place was going the same way as Shell – surveillance cameras, access control, QSARetc…..it was simply a decade behind. This part of the Perfumery Course would run from4pm until 6pm each week, Quantum always liked to educate you in your own time. Jamieand I had an hour to kill before going into Ashford, so we had three pints of Murphy’s. God,I didn’t like Karl’s wife, Lucy, she made no attempt to be pleasant with anyone who couldbe viewed as one of Karl’s rivals. Well, my fat lass, I’m bored too, I’m always fucking boredat these stupid, stilted meals for objectionable, ambitious, anally retentive chemists. So faras I’m concerned, I can think of about two million things I’d rather be doing thanattempting a conversation with a pig in a skirt, with a face like a smacked arse. I noted thatshe behaved differently with Charles, hanging onto every platitudinous word, giving plentyof eye contact with her greedy little piggy eyes. She and Karl were social climbers. Thething is, are they too stupid to realise the transparency of their behaviour? Maybe, theythink that everyone else is too dim to realise. Perhaps, they just don’t care. No matterwhich criteria apply, they are obnoxious. Meanwhile, Tim is mouthing off at the other endof the table, blissfully unaware that Charles is obviously making mental notes ofeverything he says. I adopted my time-honoured approach to dealing with such situations,poured plenty of red wine on top of my Murphy’s aperitif, this helped down the chickenvindaloo. Then, I had a couple of Irish coffees as a digestif. Fortunately, Karen’s husbandSteve seemed an OK sort of bloke, he repaired marine engines for a living. They had twoboys, Connor and Kyle, whose ages were almost identical to Colin and David. What I didn’tknow, at that stage, was that their names had been chosen by Karen from the heroes inthe 1984 film ‘Terminator’, otherwise I’d have been unable able to stop laughing – it placedKaren in the Sarah Connor role…. the mother whose offspring would save humanity.

Presently, these children were being looked after by Karen’s mother, ambitious for herown offspring, apparently.‘Karen works far too hard,’ Steve told me.‘We all do, mate. It’s acrazy place.’ Next day, out of the blue, Jamie is summoned to Personnel, asked to explainhis interest in explosives. It’s true that, at Shell, Jamie had often cooked up batches ofpentaerythritol tetranitrate, more commonly known as Semtex. Yes, this is just a singleitem from the rich cornucopia provided last night, Tim’s many gifts to Charles – who felt ithis ‘duty’ to report this one. Big Tim didn’t know the half of it. I was acquainted with Jamie’shigh explosives partner-in-crime, Dave Huntsman, he was in the Herbicide Group, and Igot on well with him, a kindred spirit, a wild Ayrshire man. In Kent, the two of us had manya drunken car race down the A2 in our ancient British Leyland vehicles, before I became afather and calmed down a little. Jamie and Dave had unleashed the Semtex inSittingbourne quarry, using lead azide detonators. Then, they’d started taking photos ofthe results, using sound activated shutter trips on their SLR cameras. Dave had branchedout into solo work, he’d shown me some spectacular shots of huge rocks being blown outof the hillside above Largs. It had all been innocent enough in its own way, and what’s itgot to do with Quantum? I despaired…. Big Brother…thoughtcrime…. it’s all coming true.Sometimes, I feel as though I can’t breathe in this environment. Karen, meanwhile, hastaken exception to Tim’s views on QSAR, amply aired again last night. She’s complainingthat Tim ‘isn’t supporting her’ in her pathetic, amateurish endeavours, and is sounding meout, trying to get a fix on my views before she goes bleating once more to Charles. Itwould suit her aims if she could land both of us in the shit concurrently. I deny her anypossibility of this by simply keeping quiet, which frustrates her immensely. Both Charlesand Karen are off tomorrow, a trip over to Portsmouth to meet one of their QSARconsultants. I can well imagine the discussions in the car – it won’t all be about QSAR. Iwarned Tim, months ago. Yet, I sat and watched him dig a hole for himself in that Indianrestaurant last night, wilfully disregarding all known rules of survival, blustering excathedra, as though on a mission from God. I even tried to catch his eye, but, eventually, Igave up. You don’t know these people, mate. A fun evening out is likely to land someoneon the carpet of Personnel Department next day. Presently, that pleasure has beenbestowed on Jamie, but you gave them enough ammunition for it to be all and any of us.Sometimes, I wonder what intelligence actually is. Charles would now spring ‘GroupMeetings’ at a moment’s notice, forgetting, perhaps, that some of us are attempting to dopractical work, distilling air-sensitive aldehydes, for example. He wanted to canvassopinion as to what was wrong with the Company….with the Research Department…. withthe Novels Group – so that the information could then be relayed to Ton. This approachdiffered markedly from what we’d been promised – we’d previously been told thatanonymous forms would be sent to Ton. In this change of plan, not only was Charlesacting as a filter on items which reflected badly on himself (Ton would never hear aboutthese), but his role as quizmaster allowed accurate identification of the malcontents.Anyway, cue bitching session, and once Karen and Kim got into their stride, there was nostopping them. Their main gripe seemed to be the different pay scales for managers and

assistants. Karen was particularly bitter about those who’d made manager grade in thepast. It wouldn’t happen now, apparently…. they weren’t good enough, and names werenamed…‘I’ve got nothing against Ian Payne, but…..’ was the preamble to a lengthy tirade ofall the things which she did hold against Ian Payne, a manager over in Applications. Kim,meanwhile had her foot up on Charles’ desk, affording a view of her stumpy, fat leg,encased in disgusting, multi-coloured tights, all the way up to her fat arse. It’s not that longsince she had a kid….yeurch!! I felt I was going to retch. Karen had moved on to labovercrowding now, and Tim had taken up cudgels by this time, backing up everythingwhich Karen said. She’d been making gooey eyes at him in the lab earlier, telling him allabout meeting someone who knew him at Portsmouth…… yeah, Laurie Grundig, mate!!Your old boss! He works over there now, and she’d have used the opportunity to makesure she got the dirt on you….jackpot! But, Tim is a big idiot, and, anytime a woman talksto him, he thinks that he’s in with a chance. Anyway, he paid dearly for believing that anyenvironment of honesty and openness would ever exist in this place. Although Charlessimply allowed Karen to vent her spleen on the subject of lab overcrowding, it turns outthat the same courtesy will not be extended to Tim.‘Well, if you feel that way, you might aswell resign!’ snaps Charles.Charming. Needless to say, Tim’s contributions ended there. Itwas all becoming a little awkward, there was a long pause where no-one wished to sayanything at all. Charles wanted to adjourn the proceedings until next day. But, Kim wasmade of sterner stuff –she had things she wanted to say now. To begin with, it was aboutother people, and Charles copied it all down, scribble, scribble, scribble….. But, then she,and Karen also, began to criticise Charles himself. The pen came down, no notes weremade. He cocked his head, and tried to look hurt, as though they couldn’t possibly meanwhat they were saying. Back in the lab, I’ve returned to my aldehyde distillation, Charlescomes in and sits beside Tim, having a quiet word in his usual sneaking, patronising,condescending manner. When he left, I noticed that something was wrong – Tim had hishead in his hands, his shoulders heaving, face bright red…..he was sobbing. There was afinal, dramatic end to that day. At 4.40pm, all managers, Dan included, were called up to ameeting in the Research Conference Room. There, Brian Hall announced that he wasleaving, to take up a job as Head of Organic Chemistry, Monolever USA. Charles couldbarely disguise his delight that the Brian Hall era was coming to an end. The situationmade a slippery excuse for a man all the more dangerous.Keep going, keep going……workyour way through it. Dan had never before encountered such an environment whichseemed to glory in pedantic inefficiency and nasty, petty plotting, scheming andbackstabbing. Anger and despair were the two emotions which were always to the fore,throughout each and every working day. Dan worked from 7.30am until 8.30pm everynight, getting new work up and running. It was maybe a week or so later that he wassurprised by Brian Hall coming into the lab at 7.45pm, the Head of Department must havebeen working late, clearing out his office. Dan wasn’t doing any reactions, but he wasrunning a chromatography column. Fortunately, he was not alone in the lab – one of thestudents, Joe Metcow, had been ready to leave twenty minutes previously, but had agreed

to stay until the column was finished. Joe had been pleased enough to do this, becauseDan had helped him out a lot over the summer, interpreting NMR spectra, makingexperimental suggestions, even though Karen was nominally Joe’s supervisor.‘I’m veryimpressed by this!!’ Hall had exclaimed. But, Dan knew that, had Joe not been present, itwould have been a bollocking handed out, not praise.* Tuesday 26th September 1995, andeveryone in Research has been invited to a meal at the Spearpoint Hotel, in honour ofBrian Hall. My only experience of the Spearpoint was having a carvery meal with Brian,when he’d offered me another chance with Quantum. Jamie and Kim have elected not toattend, but Brian Hall has been more than fair with me, so I want to pay my respects. Ideliberately steer clear of my immediate colleagues, get myself a pint of London Pride atthe free bar, and sit down with the chemical engineers. The meal itself is excellent,another huge carvery….and now, it’s time for the speeches. First of all, John Brendan getsto his feet, delivering a sycophantic address, that sickly smile all over his untrustworthyface. After the applause, Brian stands up to reply. He begins by mentioning people whohave inspired him…..Sir Derek Barton….. Erich Klutz…. Christ, that’s my name getting amention now…..!!‘….And, another thing which will stick in my mind is walking through thelabs on a Friday night, after 7.30pm, and Dan Murdoch was still there, because he wantedto complete an experiment. Not only that, he’d convinced someone else to stay with himfor safety reasons. That’s the sort of commitment we need now, if we want Quantum tosurvive in our industry, which has become so desperately competitive….’I could almostfeel the waves of hatred from the assembled audience. Why should I be selected for thispraise? With Brian on the way out, I felt the nod in my direction, though sincere, could be apoisoned chalice….Karl can’t hold his drink. Back in the lab, he is incandescent at how thelunch panned out. With a pint or two inside him, his naked ambition rises to the surface.Jamie’s wife has recently given birth to a daughter, Sally. But, there are no congratulationsforthcoming.‘I’m never having kids!’ Karl declares, with some venom. ‘They’d hold me backtoo much.’‘Yeah. Probably best that you don’t have them, then….’ I reply. He doesn’t quiteknow what to say – he strongly suspects that he has been insulted, but appears unwillingto demand clarification. Jamie and I exchange a look with raised eyebrows, Karl turns andstorms off.‘Ha – you took the piss right out of him there, Dan!’ grins Jamie. ‘Mr Ambitious,that’s what we’ll call him now.’ But, the very next day, Mr Ambitious got a break. The daystarted well enough. I bumped into Nigel Surry from the Pilot Plant as I headed up fromthe car park.‘Mentioned in dispatches yesterday, were we?’ he called over. I quite likeNigel, an insouciant sort of fellow, another child of the 1950s. He’s worked for Quantum allhis adult life, but hasn’t let it get to him. The fact that he lives with Kathy Feast, who worksin John Brendan’s Fragrance Applications Group, probably helps – she’s the best-lookingwoman in Research, oozing femininity. In the past, Nigel had been a technician in Charles’group, but couldn’t stand the man. Now, he works for Lawrence Payne (in the arse) over inthe Plant, yet maintains an unexpected level of cheerfulness. I suspect he decided, longago, that none of this really matters. But, you can do that at technician level. At PhD grade,you are expected to make things happen…. Something is being plotted against Big Tim,

and he’s too blind to see it. Karl now has Kim and Jamie working for him, I’ve got Ken and abatch of students. Even Karen, busy with her PhD, supervised Joe Metcow. But Tim….?Nobody. Not even a summer student. And he ploughs on, laboriously getting nowhere,blissfully unaware. Anyway….that afternoon, Karl and Kim discovered a really good class ofnovel material, with intense top-note odours like aldehydes, but with the stability of aketone. These are just what Quantum need, and it’s a good piece of work. However, Iwonder how Karl would like it if I pushed into this new area, quoting the same excuse hegave for bandwagon jumping?..... ‘I think this important work should be coveredquickly,’….. Fortunately for him, it’s not something I’d do. Meantime, Kim was making a realmeal of it, doing endless gc-smelling runs, all the time watching me with those calculatingeyes of hers. Charles and Karen are off today, up in Soho on a course, ‘How To Deal WithThe Media’, as the BBC Horizon team are coming down to make a programme, a thinlydisguised promo for QSAR and Molecular Modelling. A few days pass. Karl’s charming wife,Lucy is a teacher, and I’d seen on the calendar that Karl had been intending to take thehalf-term week as holiday, his first ever. This has now been cancelled, he reckons he hastoo much work to do on these aldehydic ketones. Karen says that he’s being a hero. But,you can tell that she’s upset. Very, very upset by Karl’s success. There’s a big meeting inCharles’ office next day, managers only, to discuss the poor perception of ‘people on thefirst floor’ by others in the Department. As is usual for Charles, he talks in riddles and goesround in circles interminably…. eventually, he’s forced to reveal that both Karl and Timhave been arrogant and offhand with the secretaries. The solution – a damage limitationexercise, by inviting the Administration Group for lunch at the Flying Horse in BoughtonAluph……buy your own grub. Yes, I know…. you couldn’t make it up. So –off we go. Jamieand Karl are coming in my car, and I’m not hanging about. In the mood for a drink, I hadmy first pint down by the time the next car arrived. Had a further three pints of Beamishwith my meal, under the disapproving glare of Charles. Like I give a fuck…. Then, when theothers had departed, Jamie, Karl and myself stayed behind for a couple more, Karl initiallycomplaining that he’s been kidnapped. But, in actual fact, he’d suggested some time backthat the three of us should go out for a proper swally. In that case, why not make ittonight? We left the Flying Horse at about 5pm, only to find that the Hooden Horse on theHill was closed. So, we went to the White Horse or the Red Lion, probably both. Fuckknows. It all becomes very vague and woolly, apart from blurry recollections of the threeof us in several pubs, surrounded by stacks of empty pint glasses, and the fact that Kimnow features in Karl’s thoughts, following their attendance on a Rapid Reading coursetogether. Jamie is nudging me indiscreetly each time Karl mentions her, spilling my pint.Karl doesn’t notice this, he’s confirming my earlier assessment that he can’t hold his drink.He is, in fact, completely off his face. To be fair, I wasn’t much better. I have a very hazymemory of driving through Ashbridge to drop off Karl, deliberately tailgating a police vanahead of me. Karl was screaming that he wanted to get out of the car. We dumped him inthe middle of town, and I then treated Jamie to a high speed ride down the M20, cuttingthrough impossibly narrow gaps, using the hard shoulder if there were no space. The

more Jamie shouted at me to stop, the more determined I was to continue. The mainfeature of the journey, imprinted on my impaired mind, was the steady reading on thedigital speedometer….107mph. It was just like the good old days, racing down the A2 withDave Huntsman, and for much the same reasons. Sometimes, you feel like temptingdeath, simply in order to feel alive. Next day, Jamie was telling anyone who’d listen aboutThursday’s exploits, the amount of beer consumed, the speed at which Dan had driven.Shock, disapproval and condemnation were universally registered. These people had beenconditioned for years to toe the line, and the status of Jamie and Dan as renegademavericks was firmly cemented. Dan, in particular, was gaining a reputation as someonewho worked hard, but played harder. Shortly thereafter, there was a competition held inthe coffee room, where members of staff had to be identified from snatches of musicwhich gave character clues. It was actually organised by that bastard Will Smythe, and thefirst extract came from the signature music from Auf Wiedersehen Pet. Everyone correctlyidentified Dan….Working on the site, from morning ‘til nightThat’s living all rightAnd a pintwith the boys, in a bar full of noiseThat’s living all right The weeks passed. Tim was sent onsome team-building course. And, the new aldehydic ketones…? The perfumers turneddown every one of them, Karl was seething when he returned from the meeting, and itcouldn’t happen to a nicer bloke. Dan, was, however, puzzled. Those materials were good,they had high performance and impact…. they demonstrated the fresh, aldehydic notewhich perfumers liked, without the stability problems associated with an aldehyde.Technically, they fulfilled all the requirements for one of Quantum’s business objectives… aproprietory, stable, high-impact material. Had no-one told the perfumers this? It wassupposed to be what they wanted. Karl muttered darkly that Charles hadn’t supported themolecules at today’s critical meeting. The problem was the very subjective nature of thescreening process – it placed a great deal of power in the hands of unscrupulous peoplelike Charles. When smelling strips were handed out, he’d wait until any initial wave ofenthusiasm from the perfumers had faded, then he’d announce, with some gravitas:‘Ibelieve I can smell an off-note in this sample.’He knew his target audience, was well awarethat perfumers are both deferential to authority and very prone to suggestion. Someonewould always take him up on it….‘Yes, now you mention it, I believe you’reright.’Conversely, with Karen’s samples, even after they’d been rejected, he’d fight to thebitter end to have them re-assessed, no matter how many times he had to campaign. Karlhad observed the situation, and was formulating a plan to take on Charles at his owngame. For it to succeed, he’d require Kim on board….. This wasn’t science. Now, working atShell had often been frustrating, but, at least, you could have confidence in the screeningprocess. When a new molecule was submitted, it was rigorously tested by professionals inan entirely separate Evaluation Department, giving results which were consistent, week in,week out. Here, by contrast, perfumers could be influenced and manipulated. And, even ifyour materials were passed by the perfumers, the power to kill them off remainedconcentrated in the hands of ‘colleagues’ within the Research Department. The next stagefor successful molecules is Performance Testing in applications, but the non-blind nature

of such tests both puzzled and infuriated Dan. The samples are labelled, making it easy tointroduce bias. Kim was always chosen as an assessor because of her ‘good nose’, but shedisliked Dan for not having served a long and painful Quantum apprenticeship, and wasnever going to rate his materials highly. But, Karl was already encouraging Kim in quite afew directions. He’d encourage her screening endeavours, thereby removing some ofCharles’ influence on the perfumers. When Karl began a full-blown affair with Kim, it didhis materials no harm whatsoever. Emotional distress to his thoroughly nasty wife, Lucy,was collateral damage. Anyway, Charles hadn’t been entirely emasculated in his supportfor Karen, he still had a telephone, and all day to use it. Can you even begin to imaginewhat it’s like to toil away your days from morning to night in such a situation, once you’verealised that the game is rigged, that the deck is stacked against you? When you’ve battledthrough all the other shit they put in your way, generated ideas, tried them out, foundsome of them successful, guarded them against the predators, made the best examples,guided them through the fatally flawed screening system, and they can still be killed at theeleventh hour by a few judicious telephone calls? You’ve spent months of your life on anintense endeavour by this stage, invested time, effort, blood, sweat and tears. You’ve givenyour employer what he asked of you, you’ve fulfilled your side of the bargain. Now, theend results, these optimised molecules, with the properties which Quantum says it wantsand needs have been unfairly killed off, and you’re going to have to start again fromscratch, right back through the process. And, all the time, you’re growing older, your kidsare growing up as Cockney wide boys in a culture you find totally alien. You never did havethe chance to do all the simple things you hoped to do with them, because the arena wastoo far away. Every year, around the month of May, Scotland would call to Dan, asking whyhe wasn’t coming to join in. Hadn’t he promised, long, long ago, that he would? And, everyyear, he had to ignore the call, pretend that he couldn’t hear it, even while it tore himapart. Another year heads to a close. The BBC Horizon programme was televised, andColin made a very telling comment.‘I don’t like Charles. He’s got eyes like a wolf, and, whenhe’s smiling, his eyes aren’t…’Dan took a closer look, and found that his son’s assessmentwas correct. Charles’ eyes were unfeeling and cold, no matter what the expression on hisface. They would have been mildly terrifying had you not known that they belonged tosomeone without a backbone.Nonetheless, they were the eyes of a dangerous man.Dantold Jamie about it next day.‘You know, he’s right, the boy!’ exclaimed Jamie. ‘He’s hit it onthe head! Lupine eyes…. It’s amazing what kids can spot, isn’t it?’‘They screen out the socialniceties, and go straight to what they can actually see. Any ten year old kid can tell abastard when they see one.’ Dan has been made the lab representative for QualityManagement. Nobody asked him if he wanted to do this. He therefore decided to makethem pay for such lack of respect by utilising his position to tackle the dangerous, slipshodlaboratory practices. Dan immediately volunteered to take part in a Quality Managementinitiative on Working Conditions. Chaired by Personnel manager John Apples. theproceedings had been intended as a box-ticking exercise. Dan was the only laboratoryrepresentative amongst office workers and downtrodden Compounders, and it was

obvious that Apples expected to be the man calling the shots…. pulling the weasel-wordtricks of the trade…..trying to get the delegates to take ownership of the main issues. Dan,however, was having none of it.‘For the sake of clarity, can you just define ownership forme, John?’ he asked.Apples, who had previously been bandying buzz-words around likethere was no tomorrow, suddenly looked wary. He’d rather been hoping to keep this asnebulous as possible, while appearing comfortably in control. These outcomes nowseemed rather less likely.‘Ahh….I suppose responsibility would be the closest equivalent,’was the guarded reply.‘Well, why didn’t you say so? Because then I could turn it down flat.There’s no way I’m taking responsibility for something I can’t even influence. It’s about timeMonolever took responsibility, or ownership as you call it, for the utterly dreadful workingconditions that many of us have to work under. Much of it requires extensive capitalspending to bring it close to even an acceptable level. In the case of the Chemistry labs,perhaps a visit of the Health and Safety Executive would convince management that thepresent conditions are unacceptable.’There was a deathly silence. Dan was aware ofaround twenty pairs of eyes, all staring in his direction. Someone cleared their throat. Stillno response from John Apples…..‘Perhaps we could talk about this afterwards, if you havespecific issues,’ Apples dragged the words out, regarding Dan with a strange expression,part angry, part defensive, protecting his interests. Dan knew Apples was a dyed-in-the-wool Company Man.‘Why afterwards? I’ve got nothing to hide.’‘I just don’t think this is thetime or the place.’‘I can’t think of a better time or place. We’re all here to talk aboutWorking Conditions.’ But Apples simply brushed Dan aside now, to the great relief of mostpeople in the room. This had been expected to be a talking shop, no-one else was there toactually change anything. An office is an office after all. Most of the office areas were adisgrace, ceilings damp and falling down in places, but the suspended ceiling tiles werelight, and unlikely to kill you. The same can’t be said for breathing in propylene oxide andbenzene day after day. The Compounding staff worked in atrocious conditions as well, butthey were too browbeaten, too far down the pecking order, and didn’t understand whatthey were inhaling during their working lives – they weren’t expected to make a fuss. Danknew that he’d made an impression on John Apples, though. And, with the Company Manmind-set endemic to Personnel Department in particular, Dan would now be seen as anenemy of the state. He walked back to the lab to see the latest addition to the Lotus NotesDatabases, which were proliferating like a cancer. Karl had taken his stillborn ‘Ideas Book’,and incorporated it into Lotus Notes, with the backing of Ton. With Brian Hall gone, it wasobvious to see that Karl was cultivating Ton as an ally, a further strand to his attempts torein in some of the power of Charles, and thereby Karen. As for the latter two – they wereoff to Port Sunshine for a couple of days, finding out about biodegradation tests – it wasanother little job expected to find its way to Karen, and she could hardly refuse, not if shewished her Quantum-sponsored PhD to continue. Reading through the new database,Dan felt himself get angrier and angrier. Dan had been building up a file on metathesis asa route to macrocycles. Karl had been very interested in what he was doing, asking Danquestions about it, all last week. Now, there’s the idea, firmly entered today under Karl’s

name. Dan had his own little jobs to do. Ton had requested a ‘technology tree’ ofcompetitor technologies, trying to understand their strengths and weaknesses. It was amajor task… Huls, Henkel, Dragoco, BASF, Takasago, Firmenich, Givaudan, Toray… pullingtogether all this information into an easily digested form. As he sat in front of thecomputer screen, Tim asked Dan if he could think of any novel ways to make macrocycles.Wary, after his experience with Karl, Dan decided to test Tim……. Toray had just made a 16-carbon ketone through Claisen rearrangement, and he knew that Tim would becompletely unaware of it.‘Yeah….well how about this, Tim? Take cyclododecanone,brominate it in the alpha position, do a double Grignard with vinylmagnesiumbromide….then heat the fuck out of it, so that it rearranges..? Breaking the 12-memberedring, closing to a 16-membered as it does so!’‘That is very, very good, Dan!’ Tim exclaimed,appreciatively.‘Yes….I expect Toray think so, too,’ thought Dan. He knew what wouldhappen, and he wasn’t disappointed. Before the afternoon was out, the ClaisenRearrangement was in the Ideas Database under Tim’s name.‘You walked right into thatone!’ thought Dan, heading for the library, chasing up patents for the technology tree. Itwas a hopeless task. Richard, the librarian, didn’t want to order the necessary papers, as itwould cost too much. Christ. What a stupid place.‘Look, it’s Ton who wants thisinformation, not me…. I actually don’t give a fuck, Richard. So, if there’s any problem, sortit out with the Dutchman. I’ve done my part of the job, I’ve requested the necessarypatents, and you’ve refused. Good old Ton will ask me what progress has been made, andI’m simply going to refer him to you. See you later!’ Dan returned to the lab with his bloodpressure going through the roof. It was getting late, and nearly everyone had gone home –everyone apart from Jamie.‘Not seen much of you today!’ Jamie greeted him. ‘Where haveyou been hiding?’‘I’ll fucking tell you where….’ Dan responded, setting off on a tiradeagainst Quantum…the lab conditions… John Apples….Karl…..the IdeasDatabase….Tim….the Technology Tree…. Richard….. Charles and Karen…..the usualsuspects.‘I know,’ Jamie agreed despondently. ‘I wish they’d give me the sack. Then, I couldleave here with a clear conscience, knowing that I didn’t have an alternative.’‘I’ll tell youwhat, Jamie. There’s definitely something going down with big Tim. He hasn’t been enteredonto this Perfumery Course. He wasn’t asked to help with the Technology Tree. If I werehim, I’d be asking why, instead of sitting on my arse all day.’‘Did you not hear? He’s upsetsomeone else. Some woman on that course he was on. Karl knows all the details.’‘What?He didn’t try to shag her, did he? You know what he’s like.’‘Not this time. Something to dowith building a raft, to cross a river. He wouldn’t join in, because he thought it was stupid.This woman had a go at him, but he gave as good as he got, and reduced her to tears.Problem is….she’s got connections, apparently. Mary Cola her name is….. she’s got somepretend job with the so-called ‘Business’, over in the Tower.’‘Oh dear…..don’t like the soundof that one. And, you know what? ….After what he did today, I’m long past caring whathappens to him. He deserves all he gets.’* The whole group saw quite a lot of Charles overthe next couple of weeks. While in the car to Port Sunshine, Karen had nagged him that heshould get out of his office more – perhaps join his Group at coffee time. Yet, every time

she saw him approaching, with his stiff, stilted, jerky movements and awkward bodylanguage, she’d simply take herself off, up to the library out of the way, while Charleswasted everyone else’s morning. It took Dan a time to realise what was happening – Danwas always wary of Karen, and even Karl barely spoke to her, these days. So, the sorties ofCharles were information-gathering expeditions on Karen’s behalf, allowing her to bedebriefed subsequently, in words of one syllable, on the status of everyone’s projects,their plans. Today, when Charles came in and called yet another meeting, dramatic asever, Dan shrugged his shoulders. This one was, however, slightly different. The news wasthat Charles’ wife, Hilary, had been diagnosed with cancer. Therefore, in the coming weeksand months, he wouldn’t be able to devote as much time as he should to work matters.He’d have to delegate a lot of tasks. What else is new? And, it was blindingly obvious thatno-one gave a damn.‘I already knew about that,’ said Kim. When Karen returned from thelibrary, she admitted that she knew, too.‘It’ll be sad trumpet music coming from his housetonight!’ Karl sneered.Kim sniggered as she batted her ginger eyelashes appreciatively inKarl’s direction. Before the end of the week, Charles has taken the opportunity to dump allsorts of tasks on my plate. Quantum have organised some sort of conference foracademics, and Charles, condescending as ever, wants to show these academics whatthey’re doing wrong. As I understand it, Charles and Chris were the people who’d beenenthusiastic about holding this big event. But, Chris has just had a thyroid operation, andnow, with the situation regarding Charles’ wife, the man himself can’t take on too muchwork…..mais quel surpris! So, I’ve now got three approaches to three different areasdumped on me…. Friedel-Crafts reaction, aromatic formylation, and alkene hydration…..Sellinge wants me to take each of these thrilling areas, comparing and contrasting theamount of waste in representative standard preparations, academic procedures, andIndustrial approaches to the problem. He wants to make Industry look clever, by biasingmy report towards their catalytic efforts. Then, I’ve to turn it into a nice Freelancepresentation. Yeah, great. This will take a couple of weeks to do properly. My spirits sanklower and lower as I foresaw my life as swimming through a meaningless mass of tedioustasks indefinitely, just to give this idiot an easy time. Saturday morning came round, and Icouldn’t be bothered getting out of bed to take Colin to the 11+ Course at the Mote Parkleisure centre. I’d managed to overturn Mrs Bell’s decision not to put him forward for theexamination, and he’d been attending this course for maybe eight weeks now, his mathswere back up to scratch. But, this week, there had been a relapse. He’d promised all weekto bring home his maths work, so that we could check what he’d done at school, but he’dfailed to fulfil. On other subjects, he’d fallen back into old ways, making no effortwhatsoever. So, why should I get up now, to take him for extra tuition? I just wanted to liedown and sleep, I was really tired and depressed. Eventually, I got up, booked a haircut fornoon, then wandered into my cold study to survey the mountain of paperwork whichawaits me….. half-finished technology trees… Friedel fucking Crafts and other stuff which Icouldn’t give a toss about, and for which Charles will claim credit once I’ve sorted it all out,on my own time. There are other, more pressing matters to attend to before I even think

about Charles’ Freelance presentation. Ton has, this week, engineered a race betweenKarl, Karen, Tim, and myself, he wants to see all of our ideas on that fucking IdeasDatabase. Karl has editor access to this, and the whole thing makes me uneasy. EvenJamie, who has nothing to lose from the arrangement, can see the folly of it all.‘Karl…. incharge of an Ideas Database? That’s putting a paedophile in charge of aplayground…’Where am I to get the time to do any of these tasks properly? And, Charleshas just called another two-day Barton meeting, so I’ll be expected to present entertainingand enlightening talks on all of our marvellous laboratory work…… except, the grindingtasks dumped on me are going to keep me away from practical work for months. Colinhas called me a selfish bastard for not taking him to ETC, but is now all apologies, writesme a note, saying that he didn’t mean it. It’s 10.15am before Linda asks me if I want anybreakfast, and I’m now seething at her also. In my room, amongst the edifice of chemicalpapers, are also school paraphernalia, the aborted attempts to help Colin with hisschoolwork. I gather this up and dump it on the carpet in the porch. Junk mail which Lindahas allowed to pile up on the telephone table gets the same treatment, swept off into theheap. The boys both know that something is wrong, and Colin comes into my room.‘’Thisis all because of your work, isn’t it?’‘Yes, it is. Look at it! I’ve got no time for you, David ormyself, and I’m tired of it.’‘I can’t say I blame you,’ he replies. He’s becoming much moremature in outlook. Soon, his childhood will be over, and I’m actually in a blind panic,unable to halt time, unable to grab the precious few moments we have left, unable toprevent this tide of thankless, time-consuming tasks which prevent me living a humanlife.‘Dad…,’ he says, ‘If you want to go to Cornwall, I won’t make a fuss now. If that wouldmake you happier, maybe you should go there.’‘Thanks, Colin.’But, of course, the momenthad passed. It’s been well over a year since we went for a look, and, if everyone had beenin favour back then, we might have made the move. It’s not going to happen now, I’d haveto take a further pay-cut, and Linda would lose the good job she’s just started. And,whereas we could have moved last year before Colin began his final year at PrimarySchool, there’s no way we can go at this juncture. Despite our best attempts, Colin hasn’tbeen trying, and he’s not going to get a Grammar School place. He’ll end up in a secondrate school where he won’t be pushed, won’t be stretched, and he’s so lazy that thissituation will suit him….for a while. Maybe, someday, he’ll wake up to himself, realisingthat he could have done so much better. Some dreadful weeks went past. Others began tonotice Karl’s strategy – there was talk in the department that he was using the profusion ofLotus Notes databases as some sort of megalomaniac, trying to deny his colleagues anyroom for manoeuvre, claiming all good ideas as his own. Meanwhile, the Internet came toQuantum on Wednesday, February 14th 1996, it was initially installed only on Dan’scomputer in the lab, meaning that he could now no longer access his own terminal forvast swathes of the day – big Tim was in his element, wasting time on the web while hisown reactions languished. And so, Wednesday 13th March dawned, the third and final dayof the attempted indoctrination of Total Quality zealots, offsite, at the Ashford BusinessPoint. So far, this had been an exercise in ineffectual box-ticking by people who lacked the

attention span of a butterfly, easily manipulated into whatever outcome desired by JohnApples. Dan decided that today was the day to tackle this man, properly, in front of anaudience where it would be difficult for him to evade the issues. And, Dan intended tomake Charles Sellinge regret the day that TQ had ever been mentioned. Mid-morning, heknew that the time had come…‘John…..we’re doing a lot of talking here,’ Dan challenged,‘But, is there actually a budget allocated towards fixing problems we’ve identified in ourworking conditions?’Dan was fixed by a long, hard look……but, no response.‘It’s a simplequestion,’ Dan prompted. ‘We’ve been talking about what’s wrong on site for days on end.Is this simply an empty talking shop? Are we actually empowered to do anything at allabout the conditions we’re forced to suffer?’Other people were interested now. A fewoffice workers, women mainly, were still talking enthusiastically amongst themselvesabout hot-desking, and other parsimonious, space-saving schemes which are fine forothers. However, Dan definitely has the attention of most delegates this time, and Appleshad better speak up quickly, before his credibility is lost.‘What sort of budget are youthinking of? There’s not much money available….’‘Thanks John. I’m not asking for the worldhere. What I’m talking about is hiring a professional ergonomist for the day…… someoneto look over the laboratories and provide a proper opinion on what’s wrong, and what canbe done to improve matters….. submit an official report, an overview for management towork on….’‘I’m not sure we can do that…’Oh, come on, John! You say that you want thingsto improve on this site. You say that TQ should be an instrument of change for the better.Well, this is the sort of thing we should be doing…’‘I agree with Dan!’ said someone fromCompounding.‘Me, too!’ Aware that a power struggle was in progress, even the secretarieshad been distracted from their hot-desking. Apples was under pressure, and it was timefor Dan to rack it up a notch.‘I’d hoped that my concerns would actually be listened to inthis forum, John, but you’ve now demonstrated that may have been misplaced optimism.As I said at the beginning of this process, I can always call in the Health and SafetyExecutive. The conditions we’re working under are injurious to our health. So, now I thinkabout it, that’s probably best the way forward, going through the correct channels totackle illegal practices…’‘That might not be in anyone’s best interests,’ warned Apples, buthis face had blanched.‘It’s certainly in my best interests. Inhaling propylene oxide all dayisn’t doing my health any good. I’ve brought the situation to the attention of my linemanagement, and it has been ignored. I’ve brought it up at this forum on workingconditions, and it has been ignored. What do you suggest I do, now? It appears to me thatthe HSE is the only remaining option.’It was obvious that Apples was going to have to backdown.‘I’ll see what can be done. Hiring an Ergonomist, you say?’‘It’s a suggestion.Something has to be done. Is this going into the minutes, by the way..? Within theResearch Department, substandard working conditions prevail, exacerbated byovercrowding. The siting of rotary evaporators in the open laboratory, to save fumehoodspace, is of particular concern. John Apples agreed that an ergonomist should be hired toexamine such shortfalls. An official report will be submitted, as a document on whichmanagement should be prepared to act. How about that…?’‘I’ll see what I can do.’ A minor

victory, then. However, when Dan got back home, he found that, out in the wider world, ithad been a day of senseless waste, a day marking 1996 with yet another sign of theunspeakable sickness into which society appears to be slipping. Someone had gone into aprimary school in Dunblane, killing sixteen kids, all innocent mites, and a teacher, beforefinally killing himself. They’d all been alive when Dan set off that morning. Dan hadinitiated what was shaping up to be an extensive piece of novel work on musks. Taking a17-carbon macrocyclic ketone as standard, he wondered what would happen as the ringsize was reduced, while retaining the osmophore on a side chain…. a fifteen carbon ring,bearing an acetyl group, say? Or, a twelve carbon ring, substituted by a ketone with a butylgroup? All the way down to a five membered ring carrying a twelve carbon ketone sidechain, whether bulky, branched, or linear. He was pleased with the idea – the relativelyaccessible 8-membered and 12-membered rings could be expanded by two carbons viatheir enamines, and could also be ring contracted by a single carbon through Favorskiirearrangement. This was going to be fun! And interesting….. he could see the extensivetable of results in his mind’s eye. He’d entered the idea into the database, and would beable to make some headway on practical work before having a week up in Scotland withthe boys at Easter, staying with his parents. He was really looking forward to this break –at last, the opportunity to spend some time with his children…. a whole week, where hecould maybe give them an inkling of his own formative experiences. And, with this work inthe pipeline, all duly entered into the Ideas Database, he could possibly relax and enjoyhimself properly. It was late, 9.07pm, when he got back that Friday evening, 15th March1996. A beautiful spring day had slipped through his fingers, but he’d started in earnest onthe 17-carbon ketones, balanced between ring size and side-chain bulk. Despite drivinghome at 90mph, he’d missed the beginning of The Fast Show. Not that he was affordedthe opportunity to watch the programme, the telephone rang just as he sat down to enjoyit.It was his father on the line.‘Any breakthroughs this week?’ Dan was asked.‘No. I’ve had alot of distractions.’Silence. ‘Why did you bother calling me?’ Dan thought. ‘Do you want meto tell you that everything is wonderful, then we can go our separate ways once more incloud-cuckoo land?’ But, Dan appreciated that his father at least tried to be interested, sohe kept the conversation going.‘It’s been a glorious day today. It’s a shame Linda has towork tomorrow. She’s got to attend a Team Review, even though it’s a Saturday. It wouldhave given us a chance to try out the cycle rack we bought for the car.’‘You’re not thinkingof bringing these bikes up with you to Scotland are you?’‘Well……I was going to bring them,actually, if that were OK.’But, Dan could hear his mother in the background, putting in herown sixpence-worth.‘No bikes! That’s no use.’Dan felt his heart sink to his boots. He’d beenreally looking forward to this trip at Easter. In fact, through several recent bad days, it hadbeen the only thing to anticipate with any real pleasure, something to keep him going. Hewent to bed with a bitter taste in his mouth. Staff Appraisal time was approaching. Already,Charles is using this process as a compliance tool, a latent threat towards those who won’tdo exactly as he wants. Me, mainly…. But, I wasn’t going to buckle. As I looked at my notesfor the previous year, it was heartbreaking….while I was preparing for a Firmenich

presentation a year ago, David came into my room to show me some of his drawings, but Iwas too busy. The summer drifted past us last year, when the boys were ten and six yearsold, already it seems like an age ago. I went to bed on Sunday night unsettled and uneasy.All of our lives were slipping through our fingers, I seem to be standing in the middle of ahaze of struggle and uncertainty, watching the real world whizz by as though from thecentral point of a crazy fairground ride that I don’t want to be on, I want to get off, but it’smoving too fast. And, I’ve been on this ride for so long now that I don’t really know whatmy role would be in that other world I see flashing by me. Dan returned to work onMonday morning to find vital items of his glassware missing. He wasn’t too surprised.Most of it would be found in Ken’s drawer, the rest would already have been broken bythe students. And, there was a note from Charles that Dan should consider attending a 5-day Barton Meeting in Holland!! This jamboree of slow death was due to take place beforehe could even return from his planned trip to Scotland, itself already looking a little ill-starred. Charles tried to pin Dan down on the Holland trip as soon as he got in, and Dan’sdefinitive answer that he wouldn’t be there did not go down well.‘I’ve only just finishedwriting up the minutes of the last two day Barton meeting here at Ashford. That wasanother ‘little job’ I somehow got landed with. Tell me – what’s going to be new at thisone?’‘But, Sir Derek likes you. He’ll be pleased to see you there. You really must seriouslyconsider this opportunity. Don’t forget that Staff Appraisal is coming up shortly, I need totalk to you about that also.’‘Well….here I am.’ This comment was received with a longsilence and a curious look.‘So….shall I tell Ton that you’re happy to be Ashfordrepresentative at the Holland meeting?’‘No – you won’t. I’m not going to Holland. I’m goingto Scotland. I deserve a break, my family deserve a break, and I’m not going to allowQuantum to take over my entire life.’‘Very well,’ replied Sellinge, thin lipped, as heconsulted his little Filofax personal organiser. ‘I was going to speak to you about appraisalnext Tuesday, at 2.30pm. However, I want you to attend a presentation by a smallfragrance company, Synarome, and that’s at the same time. So – we’ll make it nextWednesday, 27th March, at 2.30pm.’‘Fine by me.’* Tuesday 26th March rolled round, andthe methyl propiolate required by Dan for his work on macrocycles with ketone sidechains still hadn’t arrived. When he checked up with Marion in the chemicals stores, shebecame evasive, arousing Dan’s suspicions that something was amiss. So….he keptprobing, and it turned out that she had never ordered it, despite the fact that Dan hadnow submitted three separate orders for the chemical, from three different suppliers.What was going on? A really pissed-off Dan made sure that she transmitted the order byfax this time, while he kept an eye on her.This led to a further strange sequence of events.Aldrich telephoned back, saying that they wouldn’t supply….. because Quantum owedthem too much money. Marion had known all about this, dealing with it as might beexpected from the high-quality hardcore Quantum staff – she’d buried her head in thesand and ignored it.‘Look, Marion, we’re being paid to do a job here!’ Dan tackled her. ‘Wecan’t do it without the chemicals we need. You’ve deliberately failed to order my chemicalsfor weeks now, and you haven’t exactly been candid with me about it. That failure hasn’t

really helped me to plan or execute my work. Does this strategy of yours affect only me, oris everyone else affected? Have you been ordering chemicals for Karen, for instance? ForKarl…? I’ve got my ordering records downstairs, and we’re going to get this resolved, oneway or another this afternoon. If you’ve got a problem with the chemicals budget and it’scome to this, then bring it to the attention of Neil and Ton. If I don’t have sometrustworthy evidence from you by four o’clock this afternoon that the chemicals I orderedare actually going to arrive, then I’m not going to be left with many alternatives…..I’m goingto have to take this further, and, believe me, it will be sorted out.’ She looked aghast.‘Allyou had to do was tell me what was actually going on, Marion,’ said Dan as he turned toleave, being rewarded with a particularly blank and bovine look. Yeah…..does notcompute. No-one does that round here, do they? At 2.30pm, Dan attended the Synaromepresentation, which was truly awful, and returned to the lab at 4pm, clutching the sampleswhich had been handed out. Here, he was informed by Sellinge that he’d now have towrite a report on the proceedings. Dan’s frame of mind wasn’t particularly good.‘Maybe itshould have crossed your mind to tell me about this beforehand,’ Dan challenged. ‘Then,at least, I might have taken some notes.’‘Surely, you can still remember it all?’ counteredSellinge.‘Oh, I can remember it, all right! It’s not all that I can remember. I’ll tell you what,after I’ve written this, where will I file it? Will I put it beside the report you wrote on the bigFirmenich presentation, last year? Quite an important one that, wasn’t it?’Sellinge looked abit sick. He’d attended that one, over in France, and had claimed travel expenses. Noreport had ever been written on it. Sellinge looked at Dan, askance….‘Don’t bother then, ifyou don’t want to,’ he said, slowly, eyes still narrowed.‘Well, I’d rather keep an eye on thisacetylenic coupling, if you don’t mind. They’re not easy to do properly.’Yes, Dan – having ashowdown with your boss on the eve of your staff appraisal is likely to be a career-limitingmove. Especially with that guy. And, no – you didn’t have a choice. But, next day, Sellingewas a nice as ninepence in that oily, unctuous way of his. The main outcome of Dan’s staffappraisal was that he was making progress on so many fronts, he’d be rewarded bysupervising Ken permanently, and would soon have yet another student joining Terry andAlan in his little group …. this time, a full year sandwich student, Richard Bodwin. Great…. Appraisal over, Dan was able to concentrate on lab-work in the late afternoon. He took hiscyclododecane carboxaldehyde, reacted it with ethylmagnesium bromide, then oxidisedthe resultant alcohol to give 1-(cyclododecyl)propanone, a fifteen carbon ketone with atwelve membered macrocyclic ring. The final product smelled woody and musky. It was aninteresting smell – he could be on to something here, and it made him feel a little better.As soon as Marion actually ordered that methyl propiolate, he could react it with his bigbatch of cyclododecanone pyrrolidine enamine, all 197g of it, the product of three days ofrisk taking, stored anonymously in the big freezer downstairs since then, trying to keep itaway from Karl’s prying eyes. Karl Martin was constantly on the prowl around Dan’s lab-book, trying to ascertain what he was up to. Well, mate – this will eventually give me afourteen membered macrocyclic ring, one from which I can build various side chains tomake it musky. Wasn’t science wonderful? It was at times such as these that you know that

you’re on the right path, on the verge of a breakthrough, thinking along the right lines.During such periods, there can scarcely be a better job in the world! Nature is about tosubmit to your power of thought, disclosing more of its secrets…..and, you’re using thetools of organic chemistry, a fantastically organised, yet mysteriously arcane discipline, toactually make the molecules which will prove your points. When work blossoms in thisway, you can look forward to a short period of stability, where it’s actually possible to havefun, you know that all the grinding background research, the scratching around as youinitiate a new seam, the donkey work of separating the wheat from the chaff – this is allabout to pay off, and a bumper crop is imminent! These are exciting days. Dan hadexperienced them before…..in Shell Herbicides, there had been the inhibitors ofmagnesium chelatase and beta-carotene, then he’d brought the chloroisoxazoleneonicotinoids to the Insecticide Group, and, at Quantum, he’d already discovered anentirely new reaction. He also knew that this excitement inevitably resolved to bitterdisillusionment as the bandwagon jumpers climbed aboard. It’s the people in chemistrywho make it such an uncomfortable arena in which to earn a living. I was actually having alot of problems with Ken at that particular juncture. Our working relationship was prickly,mainly because he didn’t really cope with change too well. He’d been making simple estersand acetals for the past thirty years, since leaving school, these molecules going nowhere,just like Ken himself. Then Karen had been hired from Shell, working for Chris Oldman,who’d set her the task of making…..wait for it…. more acetals, using novel diols fromHoechst. The world didn’t really require another acetal, they almost inevitably lead to hard-edged ‘fruity’ odours whose characteristics can be amply fulfilled, if required, by existingmolecules costing a few pence. But, Chris Oldman couldn’t think of anything else to dowith the Hoechst diols – and, this time, lo and behold, one of the final products hadexhibited amber odour, associated with expensive molecules, rather than the harsh,nasty, ‘fruity’ smell they’d anticipated. So – Karen threw this one down the drain, sayingthat it ‘didn’t smell right’!!! Well, when this situation was finally resolved, it didn’t do eitherChris or Karen any harm. They both got promotions, Chris to Group Leader of the newly-devolved Process Development Group, and Karen raised a Job Group, put through herGradRIC, and now set off on a Quantitative Structure Activity Relationships PhD, whichwasn’t going too well. ‘Karenol’, as the amber molecule was now called, was a completeanomaly, a one-off. She couldn’t explain the amber odour, QSAR couldn’t explain it,molecular modelling couldn’t explain it. But, money had been spent on Silicon Graphicsequipment, and a further success would be engineered, as a means of demonstrating toupper management that this money had not been squandered. As part of her muguetproject, Charles had set her the target of making a cyclohexane analogue of the Firmenichmolecule ‘Florosa’. This was now to be the centrepiece of her PhD, and it would be claimedthat molecular modelling had been indispensable to the discovery of this molecule,already named ‘Rossol’. Actually, it was the sort of analogue that even an average chemistwould have made routinely, were they interested in muguet. But, no, this was to be a bigQSAR and modelling success story, much as the modellers at Shell tried to claim for the

chloroisoxazole neonicotinoids. Also, it wasn’t difficult to see where resource would bededicated in the Process Development Group – replacing the anonymous QuantumResearch Material number, or QRM number, with a name, like Rossol….that particularceremony was always a bit of a giveaway. Ken resented Karen’s success, he could see thatshe was a puppet of Charles and Chris. There were others who resented Karen’smanufactured achievements, Karl and Kim for a start, and they were in the process ofevolving their own strategy to deal with it. Tim, meanwhile, was on another planet, andwas simply digging holes for himself.Ken despised the mere presence of Tim, Jamie andmyself… upstart Shell interlopers, who hadn’t served his thirty year apprenticeship in thishellhole. Who did we think we were, to come in here and have the audacity to earn morethan he did? And, now, to tell him what he should be doing, into the bargain!! But, withKen now my full-time responsibility, that’s exactly what I had to do. Nor did he appreciateguidance, despite the fact that he had to be spoon-fed new work or he’d have remainedhappily in the simplistic realms of esters and acetals forever. I’m about to take my long-awaited and hard fought-for break with the boys up in Scotland. That woody, musky 1-(cyclododecyl)propanone is a fantastic molecule, and I think I can see ways of making iteven more cheaply than the route I used……. Cyclododecene is inexpensive, and if it wereacylated with propanoyl chloride in the presence of a Lewis Acid catalyst, you’d get anunsaturated analogue, which you could then hydrogenate. The only problem is that thereare a few positions where the initial double bond might be formed….. not that it reallymatters! No matter where it forms, hydrogenation will eventually remove it, giving thesame molecule I made, but in two simple steps. Even Chris Oldman could cope with thatprocess! The Process Development Group would have fuck-all to do!!Excited by theprospect, I pitch the idea to Ken, as something worthwhile and achievable to carry outwhile I’m up in Scotland, thinking that he’ll be motivated by the prospect. As ever, he’s ablack hole for any kind of enthusiasm. Straightaway, I can tell that he’s not interested, fartoo much trouble, and there might be actual work and effort involved. I’ve already handedhim a smelling strip, dipped in the 1-(cyclododecyl)propanone synthesised by my earlierroute, and a sheet of paper where I’ve drawn out this alternative approach.‘Look, Ken! Doyou like the odour of this molecule?’‘It’s not bad….,’ he replies, grudgingly.‘Well, I think itcan be made easily, but I don’t have time to check just now. Would you like to try thisapproach while I’m away…?’I hand him the sheet of paper, ready to explain, but he doesn’teven look at it, and pretends to busy himself with taking in the odour from the smellingstrip. This rudeness, ignorance and lack of respect irritates me greatly, but there’s no pointin allowing myself to become angry. So, instead, I allow him to play the perfumer for aslong as he wishes. It’s another of his resentments – he thinks he could have become aperfumer, but he wasn’t good enough, and was told, years ago, that he wouldn’t beconsidered. It was Charles, another failed contender, who broke the news to him.Indulging his fantasy for these few minutes puts the pressure back on him to speak next.As expected, he takes a line where he reckons his workload will be minimised.‘We’vealready got things like this…’‘Such as…?’‘Iso E Super.’‘No, Ken – we don’t have Iso E Super.

We buy Iso E Super from International Flavours and Fragrances. We pay them £20 milliona year for the privilege, as Quantum use tonnes of it, to fragrance most Monoleverdetergents. Iso E Super isn’t biodegradable, and we’ve got a project on biodegradablereplacements for big money molecules.’‘Do we know if this is biodegradable?’ asks Ken,clutching at straws in order to avoid doing anything.‘No – of course we don’t. I’ve only justmade it. And, I’m offering you the chance to make it by a cheaper, more convenient route.Would you like to see what that is…?’ I ask, finally boxing him into a corner as I place thesheet of paper on the bench, explaining it. Usually, I won’t ask Ken to do anything I haven’ttried myself. I’ll give him a tested procedure which I know to be reliable, and he can use itto make analogues, while I get on to new work. There’s a good reason for this – I can’t relyon his results. In the past, I’ve given him new work where he’s told me it failed…..then, I tryit myself, without any problem. Now, that does make me angry, because you end uphaving to go in at the weekend to repeat his shitty work, just so you can challenge himwith the results on a Monday morning. This also happened with some technicians atShell…and you end up with another family weekend ruined, another precious slice of yourlife lost, time that could have been spent with those dearest to you, gone forever. But,what’s the alternative? If you accept his results, and don’t check out your suspicions,projects can fall apart pretty quickly. And, spoiled work is not good news for family lifeeither, the mountainous effort of getting new projects up and running, while perfectlygood work languishes. As for now….. he’s already whining because I haven’t tried thismyself, and can’t give him a recipe…‘Come on, Ken!! I don’t have anything forcyclododecene, but here’s plenty of literature precedent for similar acylations. What aboutthe acetylation of cedrene? Remember, the work that Bruce McAndrex did, then Charlestore it apart, getting him the Group Leader job? That was published eventually, wasn’t it, inJCS Perkin? I’ll find that paper this afternoon. I’ll work out the ratios of alkene, acylatingagent, and catalyst. I’ll check what the preferred solvent is. You’ll have a recipe which willlet you put on a range of side chains, from two to five carbons. The only thing I can’tguarantee is the position of the double bond in the initial acylation product. If you run theNMR spectra, I’ll be able to work it out when I get back.’Ken was useless at NMR, he didn’treally understand it. Another cross to bear – the amount of patient explanation of NuclearMagnetic Resonance as a structure-determining tool…… day after day, week after week,month after month……and, I may as well have shown card tricks to a dog. However, all hisexit routes had been blocked now. With no enthusiasm whatsoever, he took the sheet ofpaper with the proposed structures and suggested route. I went off up to the library,preparing a detailed procedure for him to follow, based on literature precedent for otheralkenes. I couldn’t do any more, other than do it myself, an option which I would have verymuch preferred – but, I simply didn’t have time. Also, I knew this work was going tobecome important, and I wanted to motivate him with these achievable targets, while Itackled the trickier fourteen and eleven membered rings. The methyl propiolate hadfinally arrived, it was already reacting with the cyclododecanone enamine from thefreezer, the fruits of my labour coming together to form a triumphant, huge batch of

cyclotetradecanone. Tim is sitting in the lab, brooding, before his staff appraisal,complaining that he doesn’t have a technician. You don’t know how lucky you are, mate!Tim has also been less than complimentary about the biodegradation predictions madeby Karen’s QSAR work, saying that better predictions could be made by Mystic Meg. Thisnews has been transferred back to Charles, by Karen, with tears in her eyes. Women’stears are going to sink that big bastard! On some people skills course recently, he’d got offon the wrong foot with Mary Cola, a Scottish Chemical Engineer who works for MikeSanders, Head of Aromachemicals. This is the man who actually sponsors Research, theman who puts the money up. Unfortunately, he’s a historian – that is, he has a Historydegree. His absolute lack of chemical knowledge doesn’t matter to the MonoleverManagement Trainee system, which places more weight on psychometric profiling thandegree discipline. But, bottom line, Mike Sanders doesn’t understand what he’s paying for,and, despite his apparent status, he’s little more than a bitch for the unscrupulous.Charles, Ton, Chris Oldman, constantly string him along – and, apparently, even Sanders’own staff, like this Mary Cola. She openly brags about how, being a woman, she can windSanders round her little finger. I’d come across Mary Cola before – headstrong andopinionated, used to getting her own way…… Well, she’d met her match in Tim! She’d beenout-headstronged, out-opinionated, and finally reduced to tears on the course – this hadall been fed back to Mike Sanders, with further tears, and the noose was tighteningaround big Tim’s twenty inch neck. If anyone, no matter how big, no matter howintelligent, thinks that they have nothing to fear from apparently weak, simperingwomen……well, they’re likely to live and learn. After Tim goes into Charles’ office for hisappraisal, Karen is hanging around the lab, waiting for him to come back out. Somehow,she knows that there is trouble afoot. Eventually, the big bastard reappears…..‘Well, howdid you get on?’ she asks, smiling sweetly. She doesn’t take me in, not in the least. She’sbeen waiting all afternoon to ask him that.‘All I can say is that, if World War Three everstarts, I hope they bomb Ashbridge first,’ replied Tim, bitterly.‘That’s not very nice. Some ofus have to work here.’‘Yes, well I hope you’re here at the time, then.’That put paid to theconversation, and marked the ending of Tim’s infatuation with Karen. Meanwhile, the fullextent of Karl’s megalomania is slowly becoming apparent. He has now gone through the112 page macrocyclic review which I wrote, and, unbelievably, each and every synthesistechnique has now been entered into the ‘Ideas Database’, under his name as ‘Originatorof Idea – Karl Martin.’ It is laughable… tragic!! This is open literature, mate!! Spending dayafter day putting published work into an ‘Ideas Database’ doesn’t make it your idea!! Whydon’t you get off your arse and try coming up with some original work of your own?? Hisgrubby fingers are into each and every pie – the Process Development Group have alsojust gone through my review, in a so-called ‘musk brainstorm’. They know that they’regoing to have to use the explosive Story Synthesis to make cyclohexadecanolide cheaplyenough, but need to convince themselves that they have exhausted their options. Karl istrying to barge his way into this as well. He has attended all the brainstorming sessions,and the few additional ideas generated by Simon Elmore, Chris Oldman and Paul Lamp

have found their way into the ‘Ideas Database’, with, unbelievably… ‘Originator of Idea –Karl Martin.’ He’s been challenged about this, and has come up with a sordid little‘explanation’ which might reconcile his actions in his own mind, but isn’t really satisfyinganyone else. ‘Oh, I just want to make sure that they don’t get distracted, I just want to tryto keep them on the right path….,’ he says. What a nerve!! Karl has obviously run out ofideas long ago, he’s spent months on this ‘Ideas Database’ and is now busily using it torailroad as much as he can from other people. The point is confirmed to me later in theday, when Charles comes round and says that Kim’s chemistry isn’t working, and would itbe OK if she worked on my Oakmoss idea from the database…?Sure. Tell her to helpherself. That’s one of many throwaway entries I’ve inserted, so that they find it moredifficult to form an overview of any of my serious plans. Areas I’m really interested inwould never be entered into Karl’s database, not until I’d made the first examples myself.And Karl is also one crafty bastard in getting Sellinge to do the asking this afternoon. Heknows that if either he or Kim had approached me directly, I’d have told them to fuck off,even though I don’t give a fuck about Oakmoss. Oh, oh…! Here comes Karl himself, what’she after…?‘I’ve decided to take Jamie off Novel Material work, and put him on scale-ups. Isthere any scale-up work you want done?’ he asks.‘No thanks. I’ll bear it in mind, ifnecessary.’Honestly – what a fucking nerve. He’s obviously got absolutely fuck-all withwhich to sensibly occupy his technicians, Kim and Jamie. This latest manoeuvre is anattempt to oust molecules of interest into his own camp. If a molecule requires scale-up,that’s because it’s a good material, one which has elicited interest from the perfumers –sufficient interest that they now want to test them in applications. If Karl’s group scalethem up, then, before you know it, it’ll all become a bit blurry regarding where thesematerials originated. I went out into the back garden with binoculars that night. The cometHale-Bopp was visible in the sky, even against the light pollution of the town. Such eventswere previously taken as harbingers of doom, and I saw no reason to believeotherwise…..* Dan spent the week of the Easter holidays cycling up in Scotland with hissons, defying his parents’ wishes that the bikes be left behind. He’d enjoyed the visit, but ithad left him feeling empty as he returned towards Kent, with memories of seeing a fatherand son walking along the banks of the river Nith, looking for a suitable fishing spot. It wasburned into his mind……an image of one of the simple things he’d wanted from life, eversince his sons were born, yet was now becoming just one of many activities he’d nevershare with his boys. Colin would soon be eleven years old, eleven candles on the cake,childhood rapidly coming to an end. Dan returned to the lab to find that, in the space ofhis absence of just one week, everything had changed…..‘Well, how did that acylation go,then?’ he greeted Ken cheerfully, even though his heart was in his boots at his return tothis dirty, dusty, gloomy, hopelessly overcrowded environment. Ken, irritated that Dan wasin earlier than expected, didn’t even bother to raise his head from the Daily Express hewas reading on Company time.‘You’d best ask Karl.’‘What do you mean?’‘He’s working on itnow….’‘I’m sorry…?’‘In fact, all three of them are working on it through in that other lab –Karl, Kim and Jamie.’‘Wait a minute, Ken, just slow down there. I left you with a piece of

work to investigate – and I come back to find that you haven’t done it. Is your time-clockin, by the way? Don’t bother answering that for me, because I saw you were clocked in.So…put down that newspaper, put it in your drawer, and I don’t want to see it for the restof the day unless you’re clocked out. LOOK AT ME! Did you attempt thereaction..??’‘No…’‘What do you mean…no? Why not? And, why is Karl working onit?’Petulantly, the Daily Express was closed, but there was no answer forthcoming. Whenthe words were eventually uttered, there was no hint of remorse, they were spoken indefiance.‘Karl came round on Monday morning, asked what I was doing. The reactionscheme and the procedure were already out on my bench, and he was very interested inthem, asked me all about the background…’‘And, you told him…?’‘I could only tell him whatyou told me. I told him that you’d already made the final product by a different synthesis,and you’d asked me to try this route as a way of making it more cheaply. He said that wasroute scouting and that Jamie was now assigned to scale-up. He asked if he could take acopy, and would I mind if Jamie looked into it?’‘And, of course, you said, “Go ahead, be myguest!”’‘I could hardly stop him. Anyway, why are you so concerned? You had already madeit, this was just by a different route.’‘Can you remember the route?’‘Not really.’‘I thoughtyou said that Karl took a copy of what I gave you – so, presumably, you’ve still got thatdocument…..or did you throw it away, after you’ve thrown a major part of a big projectaway? Never mind, I’ll draw it back out for you…..now, you can see that the final product isone that I’ve made before…..but, the initial product will have a double bond somewhere inthe 12-membered ring. Where, I don’t know – I was kind of hoping that you’d be showingme an NMR of it at this very moment. I’ve never made the unsaturated analogue before.It’s likely to be more intense, and more biodegradable than the fully saturated moleculeyou were also asked to make from it – the one I’ve made previously. For fuck’s sake, Ken!!That’s all I asked you to do while I was away… two reactions, two NMRs. If the unsaturatedone is any good at all, there’s loads of work that can be done around it.’‘That will be whyKarl’s got all three of them working on it now. He’s already made some molecules, and heand Charles went straight over to Roger with them, to get Perfumery interested. Rogertold me up in the canteen that these sweet, woody materials are just what Quantum need,to replace Iso E Super.’‘That’s exactly what I told you, before I went up to Scotland. Youdidn’t seem particularly keen to actually do any of it, though. And, now I find that you’vegiven it all away. Well, thanks, Ken. I can’t deny that I’m very disappointed. In fact,incredibly disappointed….’ It got worse, as it usually does in such situations. When Charleseventually sauntered in at 9.30am, he made straight to Dan’s laboratory, telling him thathe must bring his work on macrocycles bearing side-chain ketones to a close.‘What do youmean?’ Dan protested. ‘I’m trying to do Science here! I was about to investigate a full rangefrom five membered to fourteen membered. I’ve only just started! What do you expect meto give Richard Bodwin to work on, now, when he arrives? We’d already agreed that thiswould be a challenging and interesting area for him.’‘That doesn’t matter. We’ve got all weneed in these materials which Karl and his group are making. When they’ve madesufficient examples, Roger is going to run a secondary screen, find out which ones are

best. That acylation reaction puts the double bond in a strange place, it’s not conjugatedwith the ketone as you might expect. Karl wants it to be known as Jamie’s Reaction. As youknow, Jamie hasn’t been in Ton’s good books for a time….’‘Yeah. ….that’s because Karenkeeps telling you that he’s never in the lab, and he wanders about all over the site insteadof working. She knows that you’ll pass it on to Ton.’‘This might help Jamie make a betterimpression with Ton,’ Charles ended, firmly. ‘I’m aware that Jamie is your friend, and thatyou’ll want to help him.’‘I can see that Karl hasn’t wasted his time during the week I’vebeen away.’‘What do you mean by that?’ Meanwhile, Terry Dally, seeing that Dan’sconversation with Charles was deteriorating fast, sensed an opportunity, and came sidlingup.‘Oh, excuse me, Charles, I just wanted to ask Dan something. Dan – would you be ableto give me a lift home this week?’‘No, Terry, I wouldn’t be able to give you a lift home thisweek. You asked me the same thing two weeks ago, and the answer was no. That’sbecause I gave you lifts home last year, and you just took the piss. We’d arrange a time,and you’d keep me waiting. Or, you’d show up early, when I was busy. Or, you’d complainthat there was a smell of carbon monoxide in the car, though you’d been sucking incarbon monoxide all day from those Camels you smoke, so I should have been chargingyou for it. Bottom line, it interferes with how I work, and I don’t want to give you a lift, notlast week, not this week, not next week….and, asking the same tedious question, but thistime in the presence of Charles, doesn’t change that.’ Terry Dally couldn’t wait to trot on,deeply puzzled. Things were changing around here, changing fast….and, it was obviousthat Dan Murdoch was the catalyst of that change. Only a few months previously, no-onewould have spoken in that manner around Charles Sellinge, there would have been apolite, though stilted, pretence at bonhomie in his presence. All of the repression, thestifled expression….it was being swept away.Seething, and reeling from the blow of Karl’sunderhand behaviour, a dazed Dan sat down at his bench, tried to assimilate what hadjust happened, an entire project stillborn, shut down, while Karl walked away with cherry-picked spoils. And, the day had just begun. What he didn’t know was that various othercolleagues were yet to implement their own little schemes, dreamed up in his absence,and about to come crawling out of the woodwork. Karen and Kim, always dismayed by thenumber of good materials made by Dan, had regrouped. Before going to Scotland, Danhad seen Charles talking at length to these two harpies. Afterwards, Sellinge camethrough to Dan’s lab, asking how he consistently managed to achieve more than anyoneelse? Well, they won’t need to worry, now. Having Ken Palm, Richard Bodwin, Alan Happyand Terry Dally will keep the shackles on him – five man years of resource, nominally……although, the reality is that these ‘assistants’ will, if they can be arsed, provide low gradework which would have been high grade had Dan been allowed to do it himself, at a costof one man year. But, this is not enough for them. Dan’s trouble sensors twitch when hesees Charles and Karen approach that afternoon.‘Dan…..I have a proposition for you,’ saysSellinge.‘You’d better let me hear it then.’‘Yes….well….ahem……you know that two of yourDevelopment Materials from last year still haven’t been looked at by Chris Oldman. Wewondered…. that is, I wondered if it would be a good idea if you developed

them….’‘….Thereby making it impossible for me to make any more Novel Materials thisyear, and easing the pressure on the rest of the Group….’ Dan completed the sentence forhim.‘If they don’t get done, it doesn’t look good for the Group,’ said Karen, wearing herconcerned face.‘I totally agree, Karen! But…which Group? I take it you mean the ProcessDevelopment Group? After all, they’re the ones who have failed, not us. We’ve done whatthe Novels Group is supposed to do.’Her face went red. As for Charles, he hadn’t beenanticipating any resistance, and had no fallback position. The two of them left the lab, tolick their wounds in private. But, Dan was out on a limb, and he knew it. He was going tobe made pay for his recent bout of insurrection, precipitated by his protracted two yearprobationary period finally coming to an end. Two years where he could exhibit littleresistance, could not say how he felt. Well, it’s all going to change now…… bring it on!! Danwas confident that he could deal with any of the Quanties in the way he’d brushed thosetwo aside. And, the first thing to do now, was teach Karl a lesson.He thought back to thosehours spent with the boys by the river Nith, only a few days previously – a peaceful,pleasant scenario which seemed a very long way away, a very long time ago…..Chapter5Exit Stage LeftA few days later, there’s a further Quantum ‘bonding’ exercise, held inMaidstone, at the bowling alley. This time, the entire Research Department is involved.Dan finds himself constantly harassed by John Crawler, a Scottish lad who’d recentlyjoined the Process Development Group. It would appear that he’d already had enough ofit.‘I’ve heard that you’re the man, and I’d really like to work for you!’ the new recruitexhorted. ‘Could you put a word in for me, to transfer across to the Novels Group?’‘I’mafraid not, John. I’ve already got my hands full, believe me.’‘But, we Scots have to sticktogether!’‘I would if I could, but I can’t……and, that’s not going to change for theforeseeable future. I’ve got a Sandwich student starting shortly, and Charles has justpulled the plug on the work I was going to give him – even though it was all agreed, andthe perfumers think that the materials are interesting. I made the mistake of asking Ken todo something practical, while I was up in Scotland with the boys. Well, I came back to findthat Charles just allowed Karl’s group to walk away with the entire project.’‘You’re joking!Why would he do that?’‘There are a few reasons. You see Karl and Kim over there? Theysaw their chance to make a pitch for it, and Charles won’t stand up to them. He likes tocreate an image that his entire group is happy and busy, so he wouldn’t see it as being inhis interests to slap them down. I’ve been here for two years now, and I’ve kept my eyesopen. Charles doesn’t want it becoming obvious that the group is a bit lop-sided. Karldoesn’t have many ideas.’‘They are a bit of a team, those two,’ John agreed, nodding overto where Karl and Kim sat together in the semi-darkness, away from the bowls action.‘Karlhas tried to get around his problem with the Ideas Database, making out that everythingunder the sun originated from Karl Martin. You’ve seen it, John. What do you think?’‘He’spissing off everyone over in our side, I can tell you that much.’‘Well, you see what’s goingon over there, all lovey-dovey? I reckon that’s another part of Karl’s plan. Kim’s a valuableasset to his materials. She organises the routine weekly screening meetings with theperfumers, and I’ve only just started attending. I didn’t go previously, as I thought it was a

waste of time, either they like the materials or they don’t, and I was foolish enough tobelieve the screening process would be fair. Charles is never there, as Kim is astuteenough to hold these meetings at 9.15am, knowing that the fucker never gets in until9.30am. That give Kim carte blanche to say what she likes. She hands out the smellingstrips with Karl’s materials, smacking her lips, and saying Yum-yum. Other peoples’materials are handed out while she wrinkles her lip, and volunteers ‘information’ aboutthem….. like expensive, or toxic, or not biodegradable…..all without a shred of evidence toback up her claims, mind you. Get the picture? Molecules that the perfumers show aninterest in, she can kill that interest stone dead before Charles even shows face in themorning.’‘Wow! What a bitch.’‘Yeah, and she’s not the only one. Just the other day, Charlestried to get me seconded back into Process Development. And, guess who was behindthat one..?’‘I don’t know…’‘Karen.’‘But….why?’‘She can make maybe ten molecules a year, ifshe’s lucky. I can make ten times that, and I’ve actually planned them out and thoughtthem through. So – my hit rate is much higher than hers, which doesn’t fit too well withthe story that Charles is trying to put about – that QSAR is the answer to the world’sproblems. Therefore…. they’re trying to stop me in my tracks…. telling me that, if I don’treturn to PRD, none of my materials will be developed. I see that Process Research andDevelopment have finally….. finally….decided that they will have to use the Story Processto make cyclohexadecanolide. At the end of the day, that’s simply a known process for aknown material…. but, they’re still not committing much spare resource to Novel Materialscoming from Charles’ group, are they?’‘No….it’s all systems go for cyclohexadecanolidenow. They’ve even given it a name…. Silverone.’‘Yep….always a giveaway, that. Tell me,John, which other molecule under development in PRD has a name, currently?’‘Karen’snew material…..Rossol.’‘There’s one problem with that – I’ve got five materials in thepipeline ahead of hers. None of them have a name. How much resource is Chris allocatingto them, John?’‘He hasn’t mentioned them.’‘What a surprise. Will Smythe was supposed towork on one of them, more than a year ago. All he did was repeat my synthesis, then saidit was too expensive, and there was no other way of making it. When they finally saw fit tokeep me in the loop, I was so pissed off that I made the molecule by an entirely new route.That led to the propylene oxide work that everyone and their auntie got involved insubsequently, by the way. But, note how it has never been used to make any of mymolecules in PRD?’‘I didn’t know any of this!’‘Why would you, John? You’ve just started.Anyway, I’ve effectively been told that, if I want my materials developed, I’ll have to do itmyself. You have no idea how twisted things are here, mate, and Charles is the spider atthe centre of a big web which stretches way beyond the Novels Group. He’s got ChrisOldman, and therefore Process Development, in his pocket. Over in the so-called ‘CreativeCentre’ he cultivates the young, inexperienced perfumers, leads them along, gets them todo his bidding with any materials that he wants to succeed…. Kim has spotted histechnique, and reckons she can beat him to it with the perfumers, at least. Changing thePerfumery meetings to 9.15am was genius, and Charles is too slow to fully appreciatewhat’s happening…..so far.’‘Jesus!….Where does that leave you?’‘High and dry, John. My

colleagues are trying desperately to hold me back, and Charles is on board with theirsordid little plans. Presently, Charles and Karen have come up with the scenario that I’mnot making his Group look good by being too successful and exposing ProcessDevelopment as a bottleneck! This is all because Charles doesn’t want the QSAR storyspoiled. And, for the sake of trying to keep his pathetic ‘Group’ happy, he’ll try to stymiemy progress in any way he can. Do It Yourself Process Development is one way. And,another way seems to include allowing my projects to fall into Karl’s lap – he wants theothers in his Group to be given an opportunity to catch up. He also feels that he shouldclip my wings for other reasons…’‘What do you mean?’‘I started out in ProcessDevelopment, John. I expect you’ve heard some of the stories?’‘Yeah…..legend!’‘Well,because of one thing and another, I’ve been more or less unable to speak out against thesystem for two years. Those two years are up. Charles can’t push me around anymore,can’t just sack me on a whim. I’ve started talking back to him, and digging my heels in. Hedoesn’t seem to like it very much. I’ve demonstrated that he can’t use Staff Appraisals orthe threat of Barton Meetings to rein me in, and, for a couple of weeks, he’s been at aloss…. wondering how he’s going to tame me again. Allowing my projects to go to Karlwithout even attempting to support me….. that’s one way to teach me a lesson. The threatof shoving me back into Process Development is another. These actions achieve what hewants, and give me a damn good slap, into the bargain. That’s the reality of life for me atthe moment, John. Possibly, you can see that it may not be a good idea to nail yourcolours to my mast….’‘You didn’t mention Tim,’ said John.‘He joined a couple of monthsafter me. His two years of toeing the line aren’t up, yet.’‘What do you mean?’‘Yeah….younever met Brian Hall, did you John? He wanted Charles and Ton shaken up a bit, especiallyCharles, but he’s left the party before that could happen. It’s back to business as usual, themediocrity continues – but it’s much worse, now, without Brian to keep them in check. Allthree of the Shell boys are vulnerable at the moment, but especially Tim. Charles and Tonpossibly reckon they can still use me – I generate ideas for Novels, and can be trapped intoProcess Development if I get too mouthy. What they want is to keep me tame, and nottake the spotlight away from Karen and QSAR. Tim is an outspoken critic of both, andthat’s not doing him any favours. Besides which, he upsets people with his arrogance, he’slazy, and he’s not nearly so good as he thinks he is. If I were him, I’d work a bit harder forthe next two months. Obviously, I don’t know what’s going to happen, I can only guess.But, one thing I do know... this is one fucked-up place.’‘What will you do?’‘What can I do?Jamie and I have pretty much maintained our own counsel up until now, but that’s allchanging as far as I’m concerned…..I’m not keeping quiet any longer, there’s far too muchshit going down. There’s no fucking way that, for example, I’m going to let that wanker Karlwalk away with my projects if I can help it. And, as for the bully-boy tactics so beloved ofthe management here, they’re beginning to wear a little thin. Charles and Ton havecultivated a reasonable image outside of the Research Department, and they get awaywith it because no-one outside of Research actually knows what’s going on. Now, withBrian gone, they’ve been given the opportunity to pervert these fabled Core Values to

their own ends.’‘What do you mean..?’‘They’re setting up their own little sessions – usingthese to find out why some people in Research think they are a pair of total fuck-ups –then they can close down the malcontents and throw buckets of whitewash. Well,consistent laziness and incompetence are two good reasons which should have mitigatedagainst them ever becoming managers… Charles, especially. He shouldn’t be in charge ofpeople – he is entirely untrustworthy. He is a liar, who will say and do anything to save hisown skin. Even in the space of a few weeks, John, you can probably see how abysmally thisDepartment is run – well, Charles and Ton can’t afford to let any of this slip out, or becomemore widely known, and Core Values is a real threat to them. The course itself has beenpostponed, delayed, put off, more times than I can remember. Charles and Ton have beeninducted, but it hasn’t been trickled down to the troops…..because the bosses are shittingthemselves. To begin with, it was all about being safe to speak up. Now, as soon as you do,you’re a marked man. However, speaking personally…. as soon as you don’t give a fuck,their threats, veiled or otherwise, are utterly meaningless. So, I’m not going to be pushedaround……. I’ve no idea how Jamie will behave, he’s got less of a stake in speaking up than Ihave. At the end of the day, it’s not his work that’s being given away, or atrophying in PRD,and it wasn’t his hard-won ‘free’ time that was sacrificed in order to generate theseprojects.’John regarded Dan quietly for a second or two before making his response.‘Lookslike I’ll be staying in Process Development, then,’ he said. Out in the bowling lanes, the falsecamaraderie continued. I had things on my mind – I reckoned that Karl had assigned anincorrect structure to the product of ‘Jamie’s Reaction.’ In his haste to claim the area as hisown, he hadn’t checked anything. He’d simply taken the sheet of paper I’d given to Ken,and accepted the proposed product as gospel. It was only a putative structure…..I’dwanted Ken to run an NMR of the product, so that we could see what was actually goingon, as there are many positions from which a proton could be eliminated, to give thedouble bond. Today, I’d carried out the acylation, purified the product, and took an NMR.Hmmm…..it’s an isolated double bond. It’s definitely not conjugated. But, was it formed bya transannular hydride shift? If I can prove this, one way or another, I’m at least in with achance of giving Karl a real showing-up. This will require some thought, and probablysome weekend working on specific syntheses where Karl is unable to look over myshoulder, and second-guess what I’m doing. I need to be able to hit him hard, when heleast expects it, and when he’s already dug a big hole for himself, with all the fuss he andKim are stirring up with the perfumers. But, it’s a gamble. I could be wasting my time. TheNMR I’ve just run isn’t definitive enough, and the transannular structure could be correct.Well, I’m going to check this further, I’ll plan ways to make exact structural isomers,committing the resource of my next few weekends, putting my family life on hold oncemore. I’VE GOT TO DO THIS. I can’t allow Karl to benefit from his despicable actions, or thelong-term consequences on my family life will be even worse. If there is even a possibilitythat I might be able to teach him a lesson, I have to pursue it. There had been a furtherincident with Charles earlier that day. It happened while I walked back to the lab, clutchingmy NMR, which seemed to have been printed on tissue paper, Quantum are now buying

the cheapest grade they can get hold of. Charles was standing outside his office, talking toPaul Lamp, dispensing advice on house-hunting by the sounds of it. In his hand, Sellingehad a couple of sheets of paper, rather thicker than the one I was holding, and he glancedin my direction as I passed by.‘Ah, Dan…….don’t go away. I’ve got a little job for you.’Alreadyconsumed with anger at his high-handed attitude, I had to stand around like a lemonwhile he and Lamp continued their conversation……on and on and fucking on theydroned. Why couldn’t Sellinge have simply allowed me to continue into the lab, then comein and find me when he was ready to do so? But, it’s a power thing, isn’t it? He has to showme that he’s the boss, and the effect is so much better when there’s an audience. I’dalready heard many rumours of his subjugated home life at the hands of his gorgon wifeHilary. It was obvious that he was compensating for something….. Now I’m forced to kickmy heels, instead of being able to tidy up and get on my way. Obviously, it hasn’t evencrossed his mind that I may be about to do something else, such as going out with myfamily to the well-publicised Quantum bowling evening, which Charles would never deignto attend. Such an event was somewhat beneath the Sellinges. So, I stood and waited….and waited…… and waited…… and waited. By the time he eventually turned to me, I had acold rage coursing through my body.‘Ah, yes….Dan. I’ve got a job for you which will have tobe completed tonight.’‘Really? I’m going out tonight. And, I have experiments in the lab towind up. They require attention, otherwise they’ll be ruined.’No effect. Nothing. It’s asthough I haven’t spoken. He simply continued talking.‘What it is, is this…..Monolever haveaccused Quantum of being below average in the introduction of new materials. David deReker in Holland has produced a list which should disprove this, but he’s not sure aboutsome of the molecules. Could you check them all out, using RAPID, or using Roy Lucas’cards downstairs?’‘You obviously haven’t heard me, Charles. I’ve just told you that I’m busyat the moment, and that I’m going out tonight. Can you hear me this time? If so, I’ve got alittle suggestion to make…..why not do it yourself?’I turned and walked away, my onlyregret being that Paul Lamp had gone. A witness to this exchange would have been sweetrevenge for the way Sellinge had kept me hanging around. The boys accompanied me tothe bowling alley. Linda was coming down in the little Fiat later, after her keep-fit class. Itwas actually 10pm before she showed up, creating something of a mild sensation, Ithought, judging by the number of people who came up requesting an introduction.Martin Plough and John Crawler definitely had their heads turned, and several othersclocked her for sure. She’d changed into a beige chino shirt, black tapered jeans, beigecardigan, with her long hair cascading over her shoulders. You could see that it wasgreying, imparting a distinguished, dignified appearance. Her dark eyes flashed in thesemi-darkness, always in my direction, exchanging a look which only we understood. I feltso proud of her. I loved her. Linda had started to use David’s turn, and she was doing reallywell, scoring a couple of strikes, this earning enthusiastic appreciation. The boys were nowmore taken with the machines on the periphery of the bowling arena, those with the grab-type mechanisms, dispensing tat. David was quite pleased to move on from bowling, hewas nursing a broken arm, which would be in plaster for weeks. Ann Richards had been

quizzing him on how it happened, no doubt hoping to uncover evidence of heinousabuse.‘I fell out of a bloody tree!’ was David’s matter-of-fact response, delivered with achuckle, and consolidating the pride I felt in my entire family, so everyman, so normal,compared to the skulking misfits I was forced to work with. Karl gave Kim a lift home fromthe bowling evening, the story was already doing the rounds next day. What was ratherless generally well-known was that he’d stayed the night. From this point onwards, Kim iscompletely in Karl’s camp, devoted to his success. Karl’s ruthlessness appeals to hermercenary nature, and she sees the possibility of levering him away from his wife, theequally charming Lucy, into a situation where he can serve as a high-earning surrogatefather to her son, Kieran. Karl, meanwhile, has his own plans for Kim, designed toguarantee his survival in an environment where, despite his dirty tricks, he is beginning tostruggle. The story of Karl and Kim is one of entwined mutual self-interest from here onin….Karl couldn’t resist red-heads. As for Kim, she knew how she liked her men – she likedthem to be driving a brand-new Land Rover Discovery. She liked them to have ambition,and prospects. Certainly, these appeared much brighter than those of her husband, whowas a humble fireman…..and, besides, he’d recently left her, not long after Kieran wasborn. Dan realised nothing of this at the time, as he watched Karl swaggering around thelab all next day. Riding on the crest of a wave, the little bastard must have thought himselfinvincible. Dan put it down to the acylation reactions – Karl was now submitting a patentfor these, thereby sticking a finger in Dan’s eye. Little did Dan know where that finger hadbeen.* All sorts of other stuff were coming to a head concurrently. For a start, there wasthe visit of the Ergonomist, Helen Williams she was called. Dan stayed late on the eve ofher visit, e-mailing all the managers in Research, explaining the purpose of the tours she’dbe making of the laboratories. Driving home that evening, he wondered what would shebe like – young and fit, or middle-aged, with tweeds and brogue shoes? Well, she turnedout to be aged around twenty-eight or so, with very long black hair, and wearing pinklipstick, most of it on her teeth. She was accompanied by Sister Waveney Millet, thecoloured nurse who was employed directly by Monolever. Beginning the proceedings in hisown lab, Dan made the introductions. Ms Williams appeared awed by the size of big Tim,his large and awkward bulk accentuated by the cramped conditions, the narrow free spacebetween fumehood and bench.‘You’re a big chap, aren’t you?’ she commented.‘Yes…..I’mbig in every department,’ replied Tim, meaningfully.But, there were no takers. The twowomen were already expressing shock at the state of the laboratory – the lack of space inwhich to work, the total absence of storage facilities, causing dangerous clutter.‘I had noidea that people had to work under such conditions!’ gasped Ms Millet.‘You may believe itto be bad at the moment, but there are only three members of staff here presently – Tim,Ken and myself. Believe it or not, these are supposed to be six man labs, and the summerstudents will make their appearance later this morning. I mean, it’s just not realistic, is it?There are only two ancient rotary evaporators for six workers, and these, as you can see,are sited out on the open laboratory, simply because there’s nowhere else for them to go.Overcrowding of this nature is dangerous and unacceptable. A lab like this can only

accommodate three workers, maximum. The two rotary evaporators need to be housed inventilated enclosures, as soon as possible. It’s not as though Quantum gain anything fromthe practice of cramming people in – as you might imagine, with six workers in the lab,you can wait all day for a rotary evaporator, while having the dubious pleasure ofbreathing in someone else’s solvent fumes. This practice is frustrating, inefficient andwasteful…..but, worst of all, it is unbelievably dangerous. Yet, no-one seems willing totackle the issue, even though it’s a flagrant breach of Health and Safety law. Quantumhave a duty of care to the staff in this laboratory, and are obliged to protect us from toxic,flammable, often carcinogenic fumes.’‘So….you have reported this to management?’ askedMs Williams.‘I have brought this up as an issue, many, many times, over the past twoyears. All I’ve encountered is incredible resistance. Nothing has changed, all concerns havebeen swept aside, both by my Group Leader and Departmental Head. They insist thatthese are six man laboratories. It’s not just the problem of inhaling solvent fumes andtoxic reagents every time these rotary evaporators are used – there’s only one glc machineper laboratory. We need these in order to monitor our reactions, and it takes twenty tothirty minutes to do a glc run. Imagine what the situation is like with six people vying for it,there are constant bottlenecks, you can’t monitor your work properly, and expensivereactions get ruined. Try to picture how disheartening this is. Nor can you work properlyon the computer – with two PCs between six people, you’ll be logged out by someone elsewhenever you go for a comfort break.’‘I can’t believe how bad this is……and you say thatmanagement are well aware of the problems……..but they remain wilfully blind tothem?’‘That’s correct. Their attitude seems to be that they’ve always done things this way,so why should they change?’‘Who empties the solvent waste?’ asked Ms Millet.‘We do. Tenlitres of solvent waste, some of it halogenated, and extremely heavy, several times a day,up and down two flights of stairs.’‘This is disgraceful.’‘Well…..I’m glad someone agrees.’ Thetour continues. The women are shocked by the Celite dust up in the stores, the totalabsence of any dust-mask protection. Dan tries to find Marion, who had said she wantedto speak to the Ergonomist, and returns to find that Neil Vincent, the Site Safety Officer,has arrived. He is in the process of telling Waveney Millet that Celite is harmless, andclams up on Dan’s return.‘Sorry, Neil….I just caught the end of that. Something aboutCelite being harmless, wasn’t it?’He squirmed uneasily, saying nothing.‘Could you supplyus with a COSHH Safety Advice leaflet on Celite, Dan?’ asked Ms Millet.‘I’d be glad to.’ Backin the lab that afternoon, something else is shaping up. Karl has been told by Charles toinvestigate why the Chemicals Budget is overspent. That was good of him. And, I alreadyknow what this is all about – Sellinge is trying to stop me buying silica for chromatography,he’s always on about how much this costs. I’ve just about had enough, now. With Brian Hallgone, Sellinge is trying to turn the clock back to how it was before the Shell boys arrived,no chromatography columns, everything done by distillation, which, on the small scalerequired for Novels, just isn’t effective. Then, you’ll be criticised because the materialssubmitted contain trace impurities which distillation just can’t remove. This latestintransigent stupidity, stemming from insufficient budgets and weak management,

augmented the depressing effect of the tour of the Department with the Ergonomist,earlier…..because, you do close your eyes to your situation after a time, you know that thelaboratories are woeful, but you just try to get on with it, do your work, try not to thinkabout it. It’s only when you’re showing your workplace to someone, explaining how bad itactually is, watching their horror when they realise that some people have to spend theirworking lives under such conditions…. that’s when it hits you so forcefully, once more, thatyou are one of that unfortunate group. Today, I saw the place just as I did the first time Iever visited…….when I thought what a fucking dive it was.And, it will never, ever change.They don’t want it to change. Charles is, even today, trying to drag us back into a pre-chromatography dark age. And now for the final insult of the day, la piece de resistance.Ken has spent the best part of a week on a bloody simple reaction, a straightforwardcarbonylhomologation of isophorone. This is just the first step, the first bloody step.There are two more bloody simple steps to do, and I’ve had to hold his bloody hand to gethim this far. I’ve been using this reaction to teach him the basic principles ofchromatography. But, through having to accompany the ladies of the Ergonomist visit ontheir tour of the Department, I’ve not been able to keep an eye on him today.And, whathas he done…?After chromatographing the product, he smelled the various fractions, andthrew away those which he thought contained no product. Unfortunately, these areexactly the ones which did contain the product. What made him think the product wouldhave an odour? There are two bloody stages still to be carried out before we can expectany odour to materialise. TLC would have given him the correct information in less thanfive minutes, but, as ever, he’s both lazy and omniscient. Ken always knows best, as he’sbeen in this backwoods for thirty fucking years, and he’ll stubbornly continue to do thingsas they’ve always been done. I was beside myself with impotent rage, which I had to bottleup as best I could.‘I thought we had TLC plates in the lab, Ken. I must have been mistaken.I thought I’d shown you how to do chromatography and check the fractions using TLC.Again, I must have been mistaken. But, if you think that you’re going to work for me whileoperating in your cosy little Quantum timewarp, and that I’m going to allow it, I’m afraidthat it’s you who’s made the mistake. Carry out the reaction again, this time as we agreed.Understood…?’ I caught his resentful expression just as I had to leave to attend themeeting in the boardroom, where Helen Williams would be debriefing the managementon her findings. Somehow, I knew that it would be another total waste of time, and myinstincts didn’t fail me. After she’d given some straight-talking feedback on her horrificperceptions of the laboratories, the fetid air in the boardroom was filled with platitudes.She was going to produce an official report. Yes, they’d do something about it. They wererather more vague on the exact form such action might take. It wouldn’t involve spendingmoney, would it? Next morning, Ton deigned to pay a visit to the lab, where heimmediately began to back-pedal on what action would be taken as a result of anyErgonomist report. It developed into a full-scale argument, where I gave him short shrift,my ears were ringing, buzzing with adrenaline. In the afternoon, there is a Group Meeting,where Charles maintains the motif, but in his usual, protracted, energy-sapping style. His

long winded exposition regarding what we can realistically expect from TQ…..this seems togo on forever.‘Well, I won’t waste any more of my time on it in that case,’ I say, stoppinghim in his tracks, and earning me the long, fishy stare. This morning, after Ton had gone,Karen had been very much on my side, she’d spent the best part of an hour giving me heropinion. Now, however, she’s strangely quiet, I’m being hung out to dry…..worse…..she’snow reassuring Charles that everyone is happily meek and mild, it’s only me who has aproblem regarding our working conditions. No more than I’d expect. Karl and Kimexchange a look, Tim says nothing. Ken would like to put the boot into me, but lacks theability to verbalise the fact that I’ve had the audacity to chastise, even obliquely, anexperienced worker like himself. The students, Alan and Terry, couldn’t give a fuck – thisisn’t their problem, their working life remains in the future, where, in their minds, a stellarcareer awaits them. Jamie, meanwhile, is being openly antagonistic towards Charles, justfor the sake of it, and to prove that he’s still a free spirit. He’d gone across for a few beersat lunchtime, and has now deliberately chosen to sit next to Charles, breathing alcoholfumes all over him. One of my molecules currently stuck in Process Development has aspicy, fruity odour, like mulled wine. Charles had suggested that I make simple fragrancecompositions, both with and without this molecule, and that I should then take thesedemo formulae across to the Perfumers. It was a lot of work, and I didn’t really see howthis would help it through Process Development – it was already supposed to be inDevelopment, the Perfumers had already said that they liked it, and wanted to use it. Overto you, Chris Oldman….Oh, I believe I can see what this is about. Although I haven’t hadtime to show the demos to the Perfumers as yet, Charles now wants me to pass thesmelling strips around the Group. Of course, none of my colleagues want this molecule togo anywhere, and I have to sit and listen while these demo formulae (which I didn’t wantto make, it’s not my job, and I’m not a perfumer) are torn apart by people who don’t knowany better. And, what now….??‘While we are all here, and you are up on the floor, Dan,perhaps you can fill us all in on the work that you and your team are carrying outpresently…?’Yeah. Sure. Thanks for that, Charles.When the meeting eventually folded,Jamie wandered through to our lab.‘I hate this fucking place,’ he volunteered.‘Me, too!’ Iwholeheartedly agreed. ‘You see these demo formulae, which he wants me to take roundeveryone in Research, then round all the Perfumers…? I’m not going to do it. That wouldbe yet another fucking day wasted, for nothing. What can I do about it in any case? ThePerfumers have already said they like the molecule. As for stupid demo formulae to showit off, that’s their job, it’s what they get their six figure salary for. I certainly don’t want tomake this fucking song and dance about it. Either they like the material or they don’t, and Idon’t fucking care either way. I’ve done what was required of me, it’s in development….apparently.’Neither of us had heard the approach of Charles from the other lab. He wasnow standing behind us, with a TQ poster for me to put up on the notice board.‘Put it upyourself, if you’re so keen,’ I told him. ‘TQ is a waste of time.’He continued to stand behindus, and we simply ignored him, carrying on our obscenity-peppered conversation as if heweren’t there. Eventually, he sloped off, but he returned four times to the lab, to check on

us. Four times, for fuck’s sake! And, yes, we’re still slagging you off…..you, and yourbeloved Quantum. I can’t stand the feeling of being watched, or spied on, yet Jamie and Ihad been forced to live with it as an everyday occurrence. This was liberating, though!Charles was trying to catch us out, and our insouciance had rendered him impotent. Hewas bewildered…flummoxed. Tim had observed the proceedings, and joined the two ofus.‘You might think I didn’t back you up about the labs earlier, Dan….’ he began.‘Well, ithad crossed my mind, Tim.’‘I just didn’t want to say anything in front of Charles. I’d like todiscuss the issues as a Group, without Charles present.’‘What good will that do? Anyway,he’s supposed to be our Group Leader.’‘We can take the matter directly to Ton.’‘Believe itor not, Tim, I’ve already made Ton aware of the problems. He’s not going to do anything,either. I had a real row with Ton earlier today, and Charles knows that he’s got Ton’sbacking. How can I be so sure…? Well – Charles is a spineless bastard, and he won’t say ordo anything unless he’s got the system behind him. You’re wasting your time.’‘Do you thinkso? I’m not sure that Ton knows how strongly we feel that Charles wastes our time, and isa waste of space! What does he do all day? He delegates everything that he should bedoing himself…..then invents pointless, stupid tasks to soak up even more of our time. It’sa wonder we manage to make any novel materials. Then, he doesn’t support them, unlessthey’ve come from certain quarters… Oh, oh, talking of which, here she comes…’It wasKaren, quietly approaching to join us, a sweet smile on her face.‘What’s this you’re talkingabout?’ she asked, innocently. But, I’d already seen her skulking in the central office, wellwithin earshot…….. There was a nice surprise for Dan next morning – seven new entries inthe Ideas Database……all from Karl, and every one of them prompted by suggestionsmade by Dan while he’d been forced to make an impromptu presentation on his work atyesterday’s Group Meeting. How low can anyone get? There would be little point incomplaining to Charles, Dan would be likely to receive scant sympathy, and Karl knew that,too, he’d been aware of yesterday’s antagonism between Charles and Dan. More thanever, Dan knew that he had to teach Karl a lesson he wouldn’t forget in a hurry, make himaware that he was more than a match for the younger man, whether supported by thesystem or not. Another surprise – Tim has actually tabled a number of motions, mainlyconcerning the overcrowding in the labs, to be discussed as a Group, at coffee time. It hasbeen circulated to everyone in the Group, with the exception of Charles, so that peoplecan actually speak their mind. It should be easy, as Charles’ initiative of joining everyone atcoffee break had long since fallen by the wayside. However, on receiving the e-mail fromTim, Karen immediately tips off Charles as to what is about to happen, and Sellinge comeslumbering in to join this band of brothers. There’s no way that Tim will proceed withCharles present. Cue thirty-five minutes of stilted, clumsy conversation. Another fewminutes of people just looking at one another. Tension, building for months now, iscoming to a head, something is going to happen. It’s Charles who breaks the silence…..‘Isee you’ve got a sheet of paper with some points written on it, Tim. Perhaps you wouldn’tmind sharing them with us.’An awkward pause.‘I’m not sure that this is the besttime….’‘Why not? We’re all here as a Group, aren’t we? Come on, Tim, what is it all

about?’‘Well, it’s about the labs, actually.’‘Yes…..they are dreadfully untidy, aren’t they? Adisgrace. What do you propose…?’At this point, little big-shot Karl decided to becomeinvolved in the exchange, attempting to demonstrate his managerial qualities.‘I don’t mindthe occasional Winchester lying around, but I won’t stand for sloppiness…’‘It’s not aboutuntidiness, or sloppiness,’ replied Tim. ‘It’s about overcrowding.’‘They’re all linked,’interjected Dan. ‘The labs become untidy and cluttered because they’re not fit forpurpose. These are not six man laboratories. There should be a maximum of three peoplein each lab. A total of six practical workers in the Novels Group between both labs.’But, itwas becoming obvious that this particular duel was between Charles and Tim.‘Is that whatyou think, Tim?’‘I don’t know Karl’s opinion on the subject, but that’s why I wanted to…..’‘Iwanted to know your opinion, Tim.’‘I think that our lab has too many people in it. Theconsequences are….’‘Well, that’s the size the labs are, that’s the number of people we’vegot….. So, are there any volunteers for redundancy?.........Tim??’It wasn’t the first timeCharles had addressed Tim in this manner. Obviously stung, Dr Mowler went very red inthe face, but carried on – or attempted to do so, in the face of constant interjection fromSellinge.‘At Shell, we had a system….’‘Well, you’re not at Shell any longer!’ Sellinge hadraised his voice, and was wagging his finger in Tim’s face. ‘Do you want to go backthere…??’‘You shouldn’t point your finger at me, Charles, that’s being aggressive. Youshould remember what was said on the Teamwork Course about aggression.’‘Yes, I amangry with you, you’ve made me angry!’ replied Charles. He wasn’t exactly an impressive,or even vaguely intimidating figure, even when roused. A comment crossed Dan’s mind – ithad once been made about an irate Geoffrey Howe by a fellow member of Thatcher’scabinet : ‘Like being savaged by a dead sheep.’Actually, Sellinge was quite sheepish now,seemingly embarrassed at having lost face by allowing his façade to slip, displaying anysort of emotion. He calmed down by offering some fudged, half-arsed ‘solutions’, in thetypical Quantum style.‘Perhaps, if we moved the Silicon Graphics terminal upstairs, andremoved Tim’s desk, which he doesn’t need anyway, there would be space to create anadditional instrument room in the central office.’But, it was at this point that theunpredictable Karen piped up.‘Perhaps if you came out of your bolthole into the centraloffice, Charles, we could use your office space as an instrument room.’ Charles was struckdumb. This was unexpected.‘It’s gone very quiet, Charles,’ observed Tim. ‘It’s all very wellto move other people around like pawns, but there is obviously to be no question ofdisturbing your cosy environment.’Charles’ eyes were now all around the room,attempting to identify non-existent allies, the look of a man trying desperately to saveface, forced to fall back on the ploy of divide and rule….‘It’s strange, then, Tim – all thecomplaints about overcrowding seem to be coming from your side…..the lab where youand Dan work. No-one is complaining from the other lab.’‘I think our side is overcrowded,’said Jamie.‘I see the people from Shell are going to stick together,’ said Sellinge, in disgust,as he turned to leave, forced to look back as Dan spoke again.‘It’s nothing to do with Shell,or the people from Shell, Charles!’ exclaimed Dan. ‘It’s a Quantum problem, and it needs tobe addressed, whether you like it or not. Richard Bodwin will be arriving next week, and

the labs are saturated with people, there is absolutely nowhere for him to work. Did youthink about that when you visited Exeter University? There was absolutely no need tomake promises about Sandwich studentships, especially ones which you can’t keep,because you haven’t thought them through….’Dan was raging. For an instant, he thoughtabout continuing his tirade, but, fortunately, internalised his thoughts.‘…And, I’ve got topull a one year project for him out of a fucking hat, after you allowed Karl to walk awaywith the work I was going to assign him…’ He had, thus far, given no overt clues as to howhe actually felt about this – best keep his powder dry. He received no response fromCharles, who continued with his clumsy exit.‘There goes Mr Motivator,’ said Jamie, his lipwrinkled. The weekend came round. Saturday morning, Dan was in his room, working onpaper routes to isomers of the product of ‘Jamie’s reaction’. Through in the front room, theboys were going through their albums of Premier League cards, chatting happily about theones they still required, and Dan felt so cut off from the normality of family life. But, hehad to do this. Keep going…..keep going…..Suddenly, he was struck by inspiration,scribbling furiously. If this synthesis worked, there would be a definitive answer as towhether Karl had assigned the correct structure or not! He’d get the chemicals ordered onMonday morning, early, before Karl could look over his shoulder. Then, Dan would startpractical work on it next weekend. For the moment, the weather’s good, let’s enjoy lifewhile we can….‘How do you fancy a bike-ride, boys? You, me and mum.’‘Where to?’‘WestMalling?’‘Yeah….let’s go!’ Monday came around, the non-existent fun of the weekend over. Iwas going to be busy today, I had a staff appraisal for Ken to think about. He’d given meplenty of material to ruminate upon – his unwillingness to learn the basics ofchromatography and NMR….the fact that his work was unreliable….then, there was hisutter laziness, a big contributory factor in the propionylcyclododecene being scaled up byJamie, and thence appropriated into Karl’s camp. I hadn’t given up on Ken, lazy, uselessbastard that he was, I’d been showing the patience of a saint. In an attempt to encourageKen to think for himself, I’d given him plenty of time to consider what might be the realcontributor to the blackcurrant odour he’d obtained on reaction of propylene oxide withcyclododecatriene. I already knew the answer, it was a ring-collapsed tetracyclic furan, atiny, trace impurity, with a uniquely intense smell. I’d discovered this to be the case on apainstaking repeat of Ken’s slipshod experimental work, this time doing it properly… yet, Ihadn’t hassled him. I wanted to guide him on a path where he could discover this fact forhimself, thereby demonstrating the importance of chromatography to isolate minorcomponents, and the role of NMR in identifying these. But, he still hadn’t repeated thework, he was smugly satisfied with his half-arsed approach, and didn’t see the point ofrepeating it. Well, my friend, you are very keen on the technique of gc-smelling, becausethat’s something you’re familiar with. This morning, I’m going to have you carry out a gc-smelling run on your reaction product….and that’s when you’re going to see that the mainproduct is odourless, and that the entire olfactory bouquet is provided by a tiny blip of atrace by-product.I wouldn’t mind so much, but, at the end of the day, it’s my arse on theline if I allow you to submit a material which is impure – and where the impurity is the

actual molecule with the odour. You needn’t think you’re going to get away with it, or thatmy having to check everything you do will wear me down. I’m a seasoned veteran of thesecampaigns – been through it all before at Shell.Well, today was a short, sharp lesson tohim. He began the day utterly full of himself. He was a little more contrite by 4.30pm…..Itwas Tuesday when it all kicked off. Charles and Ton must have laid the groundwork on theMonday, but Dan had been too busy with people management responsibilities to notice.His chemistry was going well, he’d just dealt with Ken, and he was additionally buoyed bythe prospect of taking Karl down a peg, at his leisure. So – times like these are just aboutas good as it gets. He was carrying out an anion-accelerated Oxy-Cope rearrangement, theproduct smelled musky, and he went up to the library just before lunchtime, askingRichard Baker if the novelty search on the product, a triply-unsaturatedcyclohexadecatrienone, could be hastened a little. Dan was vaguely aware that he hadn’tseen Tim around much, but didn’t think too much about it.Outside, on the other side ofthe closed venetian blinds in the lab, it was a lovely day. He went outdoors, down to theriver, to eat his lunch. Dragonflies, massive creatures, the size of the palm of your hand,flew around in mid-air copulation, the lucky beggars. Eventually, the 1.15pm train went by,London-bound. Time to return indoors, where a surprise awaited…Tim came into the lab,put on his jacket, prepared to leave.‘Well, that’s me off home for the afternoon. I’ve justbeen attending a disciplinary hearing. They’re trying to sack me.’‘What’s this all about,then, Tim?’‘I don’t know, Dan. Your guess is as good as mine. I’ll feel almost glad to be outof the place in any case. See you tomorrow.’As Tim exited stage left, Charles entered thelab, stage right, calling Ken and Dan into his office.‘Tim has just been the subject of adisciplinary hearing with Ton and John Apples. Karen was present as an adjudicator. Timrequested that other people from the lab should be allowed to speak on his behalf, andyou will receive a telephone call from John Apples to go across and be interviewed by him.I’ll remind you that Tim’s future with Quantum is being decided, but I want you to becompletely honest with John….Yeah. Don’t worry, mate…..I will be.The telephone summonscame shortly thereafter, Dan made his way out of the stained brickwork of the ResearchDepartment, past the ramshackle corrugated iron and asbestos of the factory, the run-down, jerry-built, concrete monstrosity of the nearly windowless Compounding building,to the cheaply-built Administration area. The surroundings gave an Eastern Bloc aura tothe proceedings. Dan was now entering the domain of the secret police. Not only that, heand his inquisitor had form. Being kept waiting out in the main office wasn’t a good start.John Apples made the telephone call, therefore it’s reasonable to expect that he’ll see youstraight away. Why should anyone have to stand around out in an open plan office, whilethe drones gawk? Eventually, Dan was ushered into Apples’ office, the door was closedbehind.‘Now…..I expect you know what this is all about?’ was the opener.‘Well, as a matterof fact, I have only a vague idea. I saw Tim leaving earlier, and I’ve only just been filled inon what kind of morning he had. Why are disciplinary proceedings warranted againsthim?’‘There’s not much I can tell you about the background, I’m afraid.’‘Well….let’s say I’m alittle surprised, and it’s obvious that Tim is more than a little surprised. So….how much

notice did he have of this disciplinary hearing?’‘He only found out about it today.’‘I didn’tthink the practices of this place could shock me any further, John, but your statement hasjust proven me wrong…. I’m shocked. Is this how Quantum treats its employees? Surely,there are procedures which must be followed, verbal warnings, writtenwarnings….?’Apples squirmed.‘As I said, there’s not much I can tell you about thebackground. Have you ever found him to be a disruptive influence?’‘No. I work adjacenthim in the lab, and the answer is no.’‘Have you witnessed arguments between him andother staff members?’‘I’ve seen other staff members deliberately pick arguments with him.Is disciplinary action going to extend to them?’Karen, Karl, and now Charles had all hadrecent arguments with Tim. It had all started with Karen, when Tim refused to accept theparty line that Molecular Modelling and QSAR were going to change the world. But,recently, Karen had been blubbering again…. this time, over his refusal to accept herchildishly-inept biodegradation model, whereupon she went straight down the corridor toCharles’ office, the tears still in her eyes.Then, it was Karl’s turn, deliberately offensivetowards Tim because he hadn’t submitted anything into the Ideas Database. I don’t knowwhether Tim didn’t want to prop up Karl, or whether he really didn’t have any ideas.Anyway, it all got out of hand quite quickly, Karl called Tim a ‘sad man’. Tim subsequentlycomplained about Karl’s behaviour, to both Charles and Ton by e-mail. Mistake – don’tleave a paper trail. But, no-one could ever advise Tim.I can guess that the recent episodewhere Charles lost his temper with Tim has been the final nail in his coffin. All he’d beentrying to do was initiate a reasonable discussion on the lab overcrowding, in a forum towhich Charles hadn’t even been invited. It was Karen who tipped off Charles, and I’ll justbet that Sellinge made a beeline for Ton’s office subsequently.The jigsaw was beginning tofall into place. Karen is one dangerous cookie. She was after the lab manager job whichwent to Tim. Brian Hall wouldn’t even consider her for it. But, soon, she’ll have a PhD, it’s aforegone conclusion, Sellinge has been guiding every step of the way. In order to let herconcentrate on writing up her thesis, a Sandwich student, Suzi Rose, is coming fromPortsmouth, to finish off the practical work on Rossol, which is already being portrayed asmolecule of the century, a QSAR triumph! Yeah, right…! It’s Florosa, with the oxygenreplaced by carbon. Any undergraduate could have suggested it.So….what do I have to do,now?A correctional slap to Karl is already tabled, and on the cards, as soon as I’ve got thetime. But, obviously, I must demonstrate to both Karl and Karen that they shouldn’t fuckwith me, even if I’m out of favour with Charles– this being the likely default position.Whatnow? Apples has more or less repeated his question, and is pushing me for ananswer...‘So, you have witnessed arguments between Tim and other staff members, then?’Apples insisted.‘I’ll repeat what I said. I’ve witnessed other staff members initiatearguments with Tim. They know that he’s forthright in his views, and doesn’t shirk issues. Ithought that straight-talking was one of the Core Values that Quantum are trying to rollout?’No answer.‘In fact, when is the big Core Values course coming up? I know that seniormanagement have been initiated, Ton and Charles have both been on it… long ago. Whatabout the rest of us?’Still no answer.‘Sorry, John. My understanding was that you play a

major role in this course, putting across these Core Values, so I thought you might knowwhy there have been so many delays. My apologies if I’ve ascribed too much importanceto your involvement in Core Values. I must have been mistaken.’‘Core Values are coming. Ican’t deny that there have been some teething problems…’ He was thoughtful for amoment, before continuing, briskly. ‘Anyway……what about any other occasions whereTim has been argumentative?’‘What do you actually mean, John? I’ve witnessed absolutelynothing which would justify the position he apparently finds himself in. I’ve seen Timasked his opinion by Charles, and I’ve seen Tim offer that opinion….for example, as part ofDialogue meetings, where all of us were being asked what areas of our workingenvironment might require improvement. Surely that can’t be wrong? Or, are our answersbeing noted, and held against us?’‘Have you anything else to say about Tim?’ demandedApples.‘I’ve got nothing to say against him.’‘What’s the atmosphere like with the rest of theGroup?’‘You’ll have to ask them that question.’ I was dismissed. It’s strange, isn’t it, how thedesperate plight of others can somehow bring your own tragic circumstances into evensharper focus? I had a reasonably good brain. Apples had been very wary of me backthere, I’d kept him on the back foot, and with the uncomfortable suggestion that I couldjust change up a gear at my own choosing, completely run rings around him.‘At one stagein my life, I could have been anything, I suppose,’ I mused. ‘Done anything I wanted todo……then, I chose Chemistry, whereupon that all changed. And, here we are…’I walkedback through the unseasonably warm afternoon sunshine. The same, bleak, jerry-builtcarbuncular buildings stood all around me. Not only were they an affront to good taste,they were, somehow, an affront to humanity itself. The same thing applied to the peopleinside them.I guessed that I’d just been through a pointless exercise… going through themotions. My feeling was that Tim’s fate had already been sealed. Although, the actualmechanism, how the end result could be achieved without warning……this left me baffled,good brain or not. On returning to the lab, I distilled my triply-unsaturated macrocyclicketone, which was quite a good musk. It all seemed so irrelevant. People’s lives, spoiled, oreven destroyed, on account of trying to make a smell. It did, indeed, stink.Next day wasWeird Wednesday. It began by Tim being ten minutes late for the second phase of hiskangaroo court. Tim and Jamie both lived in Standingbourne, Jamie was having somewelding work carried out on his car for its MOT test, and Tim had previously promised hima lift to work. After a perfunctory twenty minutes in Ton’s office, Tim reappeared in the lab,9.30am, accompanied by both Ton and Charles, self-appointees in accompanying himoffsite.‘Well, it’s been nice knowing you,’ said Tim to Dan. ‘That’s it, it’s all over.’‘Christ,Tim….how can they do this to you without going through the proper channels? Surely,you’re not going to allow this? How can they get away with it?’Tim looked toward the twobosses, lurking in the central office while he fetched his jacket. He raised his eyebrows,and nodded towards them.‘Well, there’s not much I can say for the moment, not with theGestapo hanging around. They want me off site, straightaway. Trouble is, I’ve got Jamie totake home.’‘Don’t worry about that – I’ll take Jamie back to Standingbourne tonight, andwe’ll be round to see you later.’While Tim was donning his jacket, in comes Karen. She has

been aware of the situation since yesterday, and has played a full part in theproceedings…..she knows that these are Tim’s final moments in the lab…..but, she comesbreezing round, with that stupid, simian grin on her face, the expression which soresembles a monkey grimace, and says :‘Right – who wants a coffee, then?’Dan is stunned.Tim is in the process of being dismissed, stripped of his livelihood, but let’s all just ignorehim, shall we, and pretend that nothing is happening….? Dan regards her with anexpression of distaste.‘Well, I certainly don’t want a coffee……thanks.’He turns away fromher and faces Tim.‘I’ll catch you later on today. Take care.’And, that’s it. Big Tim has gone.Maybe he could be a big lump, but Dan has nothing but contempt and disgust for thepeople who have treated him in this way. If they think that this is going to have the effectof subduing any self-expression, putting everyone back under the thumb of those middlemanagement bastards, and their lackeys……well, they’re wrong. By the time Karen hasreturned with her tray of coffees from the machine, Dan is boiling over….‘Don’t think Idon’t know your role in the business we’ve just witnessed,’ he says, menacingly. ‘And, don’teven think about trying anything similar with me….’Already, her eyes are filling with tears.Next stop, Charles’ office…..‘Forget, it Karen, it won’t wash. They can’t sack two people inone day, there would be uproar. And, just let me remind you – I was here a few monthsbefore Tim, I’ve spent over two years with Quantum. So….they wouldn’t be able to raise acourt-martial to kick me out, they’d have to go through proper procedures. I want you tolisten, now…. I don’t have any problem dealing with you on a professional level. Otherthan that – stay well out of my way.’ Well, I’m pretty sure that this attitude was not theoutcome anticipated from the events of the past two days. Karen may be intellectuallydim, but she is very survival aware. She knew I meant it. She could also see that the knee-jerk response of crying was doomed to failure in this instance. Already, she’d dried hereyes, before taking the remaining coffees through to the other lab. Yeah….I’ve gotsomeone else to deal with – that bastard Karl, through there, and his day is coming aswell…… Jamie has gone up to the coffee room, to tell as many people as possible aboutwhat’s been happening. Karl wants Jamie out of the way as well, and comes sneaking upto me.‘Why don’t you take the rest of the day off, flex, and just take Jamie homenow?’‘Why, that’s very kind of you, deciding on my behalf when I should use my ownflexitime. I’ll have to turn down your offer, though……I’ll be leaving when I’m ready to doso.’ Lunchtime comes around none too soon. I go back down to the river, and am joined,eventually, by Jamie. I discover that Karen has been pumping Jamie as to how he feelsabout the situation, and he’s been fairly forthright in his criticism of both Charles andTon.‘Jesus, Jamie!! Don’t say anything to her! She’ll stitch you right up! She’s done it before,mate, and she’s just waiting for the opportunity to do it again. You know that business ofyou supposedly wandering around the site, the story that you’re never in the lab? Thathasn’t gone away, you know. Ton’s involved now, and he’s apparently on the warpath. She’sstill stirring it up behind your back. Did you know that this has all flared up again?’‘No….it’sall news to me.’‘Yeah….because that’s how they do things round here. If there’s an “issue”,as they like to call it, they never tackle you directly with it. It’s all sweetness and light, right

up to the minute that the secret police come knocking on your door at three in the fuckingmorning. Just be careful what you say to her….’‘Who knows where this will end?’ askedJamie, miserably.‘Fuck knows, Jamie. They’ve got the blood lust now….’ After work, I drovewith Jamie along the Faversham road to Standingbourne. It was a beautiful late afternoon.We picked up Jamie’s car, then went round to see Tim. The three of us spent the entireevening round at his place, discussing the situation, while twilight fell and lights went on inthe houses all around us. Tim had recently joined a dating agency, and two of thesewomen telephoned while we were there. He had to explain to them that he’d just beensacked that day, and you could hear them lose interest on the other end of the line, theconversation immediately became more forced, and directed towards closure. He was nolonger a prospect. God, I hated Chemistry as a way of life. Look at Tim, he’d have spent atleast six years at University getting his PhD. Then, another two years doing insecure post-docs. Five years at Shell, just long enough to buy a house at the worst possible time.Then, he’d been made redundant from Shell, ending up in the Quantum hell-hole, whereanything can happen. Like being sacked, today, while lumbered with £15,000 of negativeequity accrued by this truly awful, late 1970s mid-terraced shoebox, offering negligibleprivacy in the midst of a rabbit warren of identical atrocities.‘Surely you’re not going toallow them just to sack you like this?’ I asked.‘No choice, Dan. They boxed me into acorner…..said that my people skills were poor, but they’d try to help me, send me on acourse. That’s where I fell foul of Mary Cola, and the rest is history. The way they spun itwas that they’d attempted to give me the skills I required, but it was obvious that I hadn’tbeen receptive. They told me that if I went quietly, I’d get three months money and goodreferences. If I made a fuss, I’d get nothing.’ It was in that awful, cramped, soulless house,filled with computer paraphernalia and floppy discs, that I suddenly appreciated the deathof dreams for the male of the species. Suddenly, you’re in your mid-thirties, untold yearsof sacrifice and study behind you, a present which consists of being alone and in debt, anda future which looks very shaky. Women won’t want to know. It was then I realised thatmost women realise their main aim, their destiny of having children. By contrast, howmany men achieve their dreams? And, while little girls are all women in the making, menremain little boys at heart. Yet, who cares when our dreams die? Women expect us simplyto carry on. We should be good providers, no matter how wounded…. We shouldcompromise our principles, if this will provide stability. Why can’t they see that there aretimes when it is impossible to compromise, it is absolutely necessary to stand yourground and fight? And such battles are so much easier when you still have dreams in yourheart…. or, a woman who understands, who can see your point of view. It didn’t take longbefore Dan was called into Charles’ office – Friday morning, 9.20am.‘Ah…Dan. I’ve decidedthat Karen will be the new manager for your lab. I know that you don’t like responsibility.Of course, you have equal status on a Job Group level, which reflects your scientificexpertise. But, I think you’d prefer to get on with making compounds.’‘You’re right.’‘Youlook relieved.’‘I think you can only feel relief if you felt a sense of tension beforehand. I’msimply pleased for her. Please pass on my congratulations.’‘Can’t you tell her yourself?’‘She

knows what I think.’Sellinge stopped for a moment, looked at Dan intently.‘Are you feelingall right?’ he asked, eventually.‘I feel pretty much as anyone might expect, given thecircumstances. Why do you ask?’‘Oh….it’s just that, where there are things wrong in theGroup……with certain people, I’ll hear all about it, in graphic detail. But, I can never tellwith you. I can never tell what you’re thinking. And, with some of the things you’ve beensaying recently, it’s obvious that you’re far from happy with certain aspects of how thisGroup is run….’‘I’ve been telling you what I think about overcrowding for two years. I’vebeen telling you what I think about rotary evaporators out in the open for two years. Hasanything changed?’‘Is there anything else I should know about?’ asked Charles, ignoringthe long-standing problems which Dan had just mentioned. ‘If so, you should really tell menow. There will be a big Core Values Course coming up shortly, down at the Hythe ImperialHotel…’‘So….let me get this right, Charles. I’ve already brought specific issues to yourattention, issues which actually amount to managerial malpractice, and nothing has beendone about them. Now, you suspect that there may be further areas of concern that Imight feel strongly about, and you’d like to know what these are? With reference to thelack of action taken on the issues which I’ve already raised, what good would that do me?Whereas, I can see that it may be to your advantage to know of such concerns. That wouldbe a bit of advance warning prior to a forum where I should be able to raise issues withimpunity. After all, we’ll all have to go through the motions of being decent human beingsduring the big Core Values course, won’t we…?’Sellinge was struck dumb for severalseconds.‘So….you are saying that you do have wider concerns…?’‘Correct.’‘Suchas…?’‘Well….let’s start with how Tim was just treated.’‘I’m afraid I can’t say any more aboutthat. Is there anything else troubling you?’‘Yes.’Long pause.‘Well….are you going to tell mewhat it is?’‘I’m afraid I can’t say any more about that. You’ll know about it when I’mready.’Sellinge’s eyes narrowed. He looked at Dan for a protracted period, but was unableto penetrate the wall of insouciance. Dan could almost see the cogs turn…‘Oh, shit! I’vejust fired the wrong person!’ Richard Bodwin, the Sandwich Student, had arrived just intime to witness the unedifying spectacle of Tim being pushed out of the door. It hasn’texactly spurred him into action. Already, he is demonstrating a level of laziness whichthreatened Terry Dally’s previously unassailable position. Bodwin’s father is a chemist withPfizer, and young Richard seems to think that the world owes him a living, that the doorsto future success have already been opened, courtesy of his father’s position. Dan hadstruggled for the entire week to get this young man to do anything. A final battle of willswas taking place that Friday afternoon. Dan wanted his student to set up an easyisomerisation to make a starting material. All that was required was for an epoxide to bestirred in the presence of a catalyst. It would take at least 48 hours to reach completion,and Dan had been chasing for it to be started since Wednesday. Richard, meanwhile, wasdetermined that his first week should pass without doing any practical work, and thereremained only a few hours before he could safely go home.Dan, however, was the moredetermined of the two. He pulled the plug on Richard’s internet browsing and guided theunwilling participant toward the autoclave, explaining what should be done for the

umpteenth time. He could have done the reaction himself, with less stress, in a fraction ofthe time he’d devoted to coaxing and cajoling. Now, having just completed thedocumentation required for running an overnight experiment, Dan could finally breathe asigh of relief, the epoxide would have isomerised to the required ketone by Monday.But,what’s this? Karen hasn’t been seen doing practical work in either of the labs for months.She has a fumehood next door, but doesn’t use it. Karen’s days are spent in the library,writing up her thesis, and her practical work area has now been allocated to another newSandwich student, Suzi Rose, from Portsmouth University. Tonight, however, Karen seemsto have decided to take an evening tour of her new domain, Dan’s lab. Here we go…‘Youknow that I’m manager of this lab now,’ she reminds Dan. ‘Well, I don’t think it’s safe toleave this running over the weekend.’Yeah. This is payback time for the home truths I gaveyou earlier in the week, when Tim was fired, isn’t it?‘Not safe? What’s it going to do? It’sstirring at room temperature, in a sealed autoclave.’So, off she trots to get Charlesinvolved. On witnessing the ensuing huddle, Karl sees the opportunity.‘I don’t think youcan leave that stirring all weekend. What if the bearings fail?’Go on, mate……enjoy it. You’rejust making it all the sweeter for me when I wipe that smug grin off your face. And, Iwill…..Meanwhile, Richard Bodwin has been enjoying these exchanges.‘Having ourknuckles rapped, are we?’‘It’s not my reaction, Richard. I’ve only been trying to help you,and, if you had a functioning quorum of neurons, you’d probably have appreciated that.Anyway, this delay will allow you to sit on your backside for 48 hours next week, and Iknow you’ll appreciate that. Can I remind you that I’ve got my degree, Richard, and I fullyexpect that Exeter University will be expecting some sort of report for this year whereyou’re favouring us with your presence. They’ll also want feedback on your character fromme, and I’ll be happy to give it. Now, we can get along, and we can have a useful,productive year, which will benefit you. But, I can assure you that other alternatives areavailable.’‘What do you mean?’‘You just have a think about it over the weekend.’ One byone, people begin to leave, most of them so full of themselves that they can’t even bebothered to say goodnight. Dan has spent most of the day wiping Richard and Ken’s arsesfor them. He still has plenty of his own work to do, and he’s there until late, giving himtime to brood. How much more of this shit could he tolerate?* He was back in the lab earlyon Saturday morning, his first action being to check the isomerisation which he’d startedback up on Friday night, after everyone else had gone home. Yes – it’s fine. And, now, tothe main business of the day – that cyclododecanone enamine which he’d once used tomake a fourteen membered cyclic ketone…..months previously, when he’d been keen andenthusiastic on mapping out a wide-ranging project for Richard… well, that enamine couldalso be acylated, then reduced with diborane. Let’s see how that compares to the productof ‘Jamie’s reaction.’ By the end of the day, Dan has synthesised the molecule he requires,and made the relevant comparison. Karl has assigned incorrect structures to the materialsmade by ‘Jamie’s reaction’…..and, it gets even better than that! The correct structures arePATENTED by BASF……. Dan can recall seeing them in the patent literature. He’d getRichard Baker to check, sending an e-mail before going home.Well – isn’t that exactly what

they deserve for being so keen to jump in, gazumping the work of others, going at it hellfor leather, setting off reaction after reaction in an attempt to corral the area, withouteven attempting to check the structures properly? Poetic justice has been served. Danholds the upper hand once more. All that remains to do is an underlining of Karl’scarelessness with a few judicious NMR experiments, then Dan will disclose the results in aforum which would cause maximum damage.Suddenly, life was worth living again. Monday came around, with signs that both Sellinge and Bodwin had been giving someconsideration to their positions over the weekend. The latter appeared a little more willingto do some actual work. Charles, however, was only ever interested in dirty business, atwhich he was an expert. He intends to have Dan seconded into Process Developmentprior to the Core Values course. He sees this as the only way to maintain the image hewishes to present of himself and his Novels Group. So….the old tale about his Group being‘too successful’ was brought once more to the fore in a specially-called GroupMeeting.‘There are currently six Development Requests for the year, five of these areDan’s, and this means we have a real bottleneck in Process Development. Especially asthere seem to be even more in the pipeline, now….’ He nodded to Karl at this point. ‘Thesesweet, woody materials of Karl’s are just what we need. Really, our Group is being toosuccessful, and this is pinpointing the lack of resource elsewhere. We now must havepeople from here working in Process Development, and maybe some people working onreally difficult targets, like Pro-perfumes. Proctor and Gamble have had these at the top oftheir wish-list for several years, and we haven’t done anything to tackle this.’But, as usual,nothing was achieved. Dan, seething inwardly, remained inscrutable.‘If you want rid of me,you’re going to have to say it, actually spell it out…. Jesus, I think I can see exactly whyKeith Motion left your Group. There is no future for anyone who is capable of taking youon, and willing to argue with you….’But, Charles, ever the coward when it came to anupfront fight, was unwilling to press the case further, the frustration on the faces of Karland Karen was there for all to see. As soon as the farce of a meeting had dissolved, Karltook up cudgels straightaway.‘When are you going to do something with these fiveDevelopment Requests?’ he demanded. ‘Enno Black, the Patent Agent, will be here thisweek, and I have to liaise with him.’‘I thought that was Charles’ job?’‘He’s asked me to doit.’Dan looked at his colleague for a nice, long time.‘Well, Karl – the first line of theDevelopment Request form calls for a report number. That means I have to write five PQAReports before I can even start the ball rolling. Presently, the perfumers require largebatches of these five materials for stability testing and applications testing, and that is themost urgent priority. However…..the re-synthesis facility, which you claim to be Jamie,appears to be “too busy” presently – although not on re-synthesis. I believe he’s going allout on making more of “your” sweet, woody materials. So – I’m very glad you’ve broughtthis to my attention, as now I’ll clarify the position with Charles.’Karl scuttled off, veryquickly indeed. Meanwhile, Jamie has come in late, passing through the Reception area,since he’s forgotten his pass card. The receptionist thinks that he’s Tim, and all hell breaksloose, panic ensues. The Site Security Officer is called on the Tannoy system, and

telephone calls go out to Charles and Ton, both of whom are shitting themselves, fearingthat this could be Dunblane all over again. It takes all morning to get sorted out. And, atlunchtime, Jamie and Dan go across to the bar, reliving the discomfiture of the bosses to awider audience. Tuesday is a day of quiet tensions, no-one speaking to one another. UnderKarl’s watchful eye, Kim is making up a big list…..of ‘our’ acylated cyclododecenes, forSecondary Screening at the next Screening session. This is their best shot at the big timesince those aldehydic ketones, excellent molecules which were sunk by Charles, damnedwith his faint praise, as he hadn’t yet been able to engineer the Rossol success story forKaren and QSAR. But, Karen’s patent is now almost complete. With that ‘success’ in place,Charles can allow Karl and Kim to have their own Development Requests, pieces of paperwhich they have much envied and sought for themselves. This is it!! At last!! Look at thetwo of them! She’s preening, Karl is full of hubris, little suspecting that the noose is alreadyaround their neck.The big Patents meeting actually took place on the Thursday, I didn’teven receive an invitation to attend. Meanwhile, Karl had to miss it, he’d a priorcommitment to go up to London, attend a meeting of the Royal Society of Chemistry. Hewas always very keen on networking. So, Charles had to run the meeting after all. Ireceived a telephone call at 2.30pm, to go upstairs and sort out the Chemistry for him. I’dbeen down in the NMR room when the summons arrived, and I was in no great hurry togo up there. I chatted with Jamie for a time, then with Teresa, finally sauntering along by3.10pm. Let them wait…..bastards.The meeting was already a shambles. Charles hadmade a mess of the Chemistry, and had got the numbers and facts wrong for most of thesamples. No wonder he wanted to delegate this to Karl! My delay in appearing had merelyserved to demonstrate just how far he was out of his depth, and he was in a paroxysm ofimpotent rage by the time I showed face. For my part, I despaired at the inefficiency andinjustice of someone so incompetent and vindictive becoming a Group Leader, a linemanager with power to decide the fate of others. But, I was yet to fully comprehend thatpromotions are rarely decided on ability. It’s much more likely that you’ll go up the ladderif you are not seen as posing any particular threat to those above you. And, in this looking-glass world, hard work, unshakeable integrity, no fear of confrontation - these pose atangible threat to the entire edifice. Anyway, having sorted out most of the confusion he’dcreated, I returned to the lab around 3.50pm. An e-mail had just come in from RichardBaker, I’d asked him for a formal check on the structures I’d worked out on Saturday. Yes,they were definitely known.At this point, Charles came through the lab. He was holdingKarl’s patent application on the acylated cyclododecenes.‘Didn’t you make the firstexample of these…?’ he asked.‘Gosh! I’m surprised you remember that! Yes, I did, as amatter of fact, by an oxirane rearrangement. And, I’ve just made another one, by acylationof an enamine, followed by a diborane reduction.’‘Why did you do that?’‘Because, Charles,you should also remember that I was actually doing this work as part of a very muchbigger project that I intended to give to Richard, after you very kindly arranged his servicesfor a year.’‘But, Karl is working on this now. You are going to have enough to do, there’splenty of work for you in Process Development. Richard can help you.’‘Why, thank you,

Charles! However, it would appear that there’s more than enough for me to be doing inthe Novels Group. Such as checking that molecules have the correct structure, before weend up making absolute fools of ourselves.’‘What do you mean?’‘I’m afraid I’ve got somebad news for you regarding that patent of Karl’s in your hand. I’ve just had a note fromRichard Baker, here it is, it came in not five minutes ago. These structures are alreadyknown and patented.’Sellinge was silent. Either stunned, or playing his tired, oldpsychological game. So, I continued….‘Perhaps you’d better take a look.’‘But, these aren’tthe same as Karl’s molecules!’ protested Sellinge.‘Well……I’m afraid that’s where it getseven worse. That’s because Karl has assigned the wrong structure to the reactionproducts. That fundamental mistake means that he is claiming a structure which he hasn’tactually made. So…whereas he, you, Ton, Enno Black, and everybody else might believethat this prior art to BASF is irrelevant, it actually covers everything Karl has done. Withoutsomeone actually checking what is going on, then that rather embarrassing fact wouldn’thave been discovered until after the patent had been filed. I don’t imagine BASF wouldhave been too pleased, and it’s more than likely that litigation would have resulted,together with a great deal of adverse publicity for Quantum in the trade journals likePerfumer & Flavorist. Was that a thank-you I heard? You’re welcome!’‘You’d better give meall the details…’ groaned Sellinge‘I’ll be more than happy. I’m just running a 2D NMR at themoment. You’ll have the result tomorrow.’ I already knew the result. I’d been running theNMR when I’d been summonsed up to the Patents meeting. The only unfortunate aspectwas that I’d been unable to go for maximum damage. In just a few days, they were goingto hold their big, special meeting with the perfumers, and their Patent application wouldhave been already in Enno Black’s hands. The cat would really have been out of the bag inthat case, Karl’s carelessness and incompetence placed in full view of a wider audience, alesson in embarrassment and humiliation for him, no less than he deserves. However, ithad proven more effective to use Richard Baker’s e-mail, only five minutes old –presenting this as a breaking story. If I’d waited until next week, I’d be accused of holdingback on information. In the meantime, even Richard Bodwin was coming up with thegoods. The rearrangement of cyclododecatriene monoepoxide to the ketone, the reactionwhich Karen had halted last Friday night…..this had worked, as expected. Despite the bestefforts of Karen and Karl, I hadn’t been held up, as I simply switched the stirrer back on,after everyone had gone home. The ketone was ready and waiting on Monday morning, I’dasked Richard to do a homologation reaction on the product, and it had worked! This wasa superb result!! We now had access to unlimited amounts of cyclododecadienecarboxaldehyde. This would allow us to make novel, doubly-unsaturated versions of theBASF molecules. It had all come together, and just in the nick of time. Take that, youbastards! So, it’s Friday morning, and Karl comes strutting through the lab in his usualmanner, before sitting down at his PC.‘There’s a note on there from Richard, about thecyclododecenes…’ says Dan.‘Yes, that’s fine, I’m just about to read it,’ is the terse responsefrom Karl. He’s a little more conciliatory when he’s seen the implications. That’s half of hisripped-off work knocked flat in one fell swoop. Time to knock away the other half into the

bargain….‘Yeah….and, I believe there might be problems with your 6-acylcyclododecenes. Ithink they’re really 3-acyl derivatives, in which case they’ll be covered by the BASF patentas well.’His face was ashen now, as the full implications hit him. He’d been careless, hadn’the? Very, very careless. Silly thing to do if you’re going to go around ripping people off.Hestarted to play for time, clinging to slim hopes.‘The only way we’d be able to find out is tomake a crystalline derivative, then send it off for X-ray analysis.’Hmm…..yes. That wouldtake a few months, see you through to Christmas.‘Or, you could run a 2D NMR,’ Danreplied, briskly. ‘Actually, I’ve just done that…. Here it is…. Oh, dear….what can I say…?’ Danhas rarely seen anyone look so suddenly sick. Karl knew that he’d been done up like akipper, he knew that there was nothing he could do about it, and he knew that he wasauthor of his own misfortune. He’d brought all this on his own head. Well, Charles wasn’tbest pleased with Karl that morning, and the unfortunate Dr Martin could considerhimself well and truly ticked off. To make matters worse for him, Ton comes into thecentral office, and the entire tale must be retold in its entirety. Karl now has nothing to do.Nor does Kim. Nor does Jamie, who has cycled from Standingbourne and arrives late,10.20am, in full view of Ton. So, what does Karl get them to do? They have to clean the labbefore a hastily-convened Group Meeting at 3pm, whereupon the whole sorry story has tobe retold again, and, this time, Charles really rubs Karl’s nose in it. Dan is grinning openlyin Karl’s direction. The latter knows that he has been seriously outflanked. All the Patentcases for the six Development requests get prioritised, and, desperate for something todo, Karl offers to ‘help’ Karen fill out her patent on Rossol. Karen wasn’t in that day, shewas having a day’s holiday, so that will be a nice little surprise for her on Monday,supporting Karl and his ‘team’, and having to share her patent with them as well. Oh, well,that’s Karen’s problem, now. She’s always saying that she likes teamwork. We’ll see….. Forthe moment, this had been a fine day, one of the best ever in Dan’s two years at Quantum.He brought the Group Meeting to a close with a disclosure of Richard’s synthesis ofcyclododecadiene carboxaldehyde.‘This will allow us to make a huge range of novelanalogues of those interesting sweet, woody materials,’ he said. ‘After all, Charles was justsaying to Karl earlier in the week that these are just what we need!’Dan looked at the facesof Karl and Kim. They were seething….utterly livid.‘And, of course, Richard will now beusing his Sandwich year to map out the entire area of cyclic 16 and 17-carbon ketoneswith side chains….all the way from five membered rings to fourteen membered, just aswas agreed, months ago. Isn’t that right, Charles?’Charles nodded assent, appearing tomute a groan.And that put paid to any further talk of Dan being seconded back intoProcess Development. He’d beaten every one of those bastards, and he’d made it lookeasy. They were afraid that he was always a step or two ahead of them, giving them justenough rope with which to hang themselves, and they’d be very, very wary of him for awhile. Meanwhile, he suggested to Richard that he should react the doubly unsaturatedaldehyde with isopropyl magnesium bromide, then oxidise the resultant alcohol to give a12-membered unsaturated ring with sixteen carbons. This would be molecule QRM 2885,a material which should have been worth millions of pounds to Quantum, yet which

would be the focus of underhand forces and dirty tricks such as Dan had not yetwitnessed. It took the others a little while to regroup. But, once re-emboldened, thesituation was worse than ever.Chapter 6Core ValuesIt took a long time before the much-trumpeted Core Values course was finally rolled out to the hoi-polloi. It was to be held atEastwell Manor, beginning Tuesday 12th November 1996, and Dan had arrived tenminutes late, courtesy of the map drawn for him by Karen, placing it on the CanterburyRoad. It was when he’d almost reached Canterbury that Dan realised he was going inentirely the wrong direction. Thanks Karen! The place is actually just on the outskirts ofBoughton. How difficult would it have been just to say that? As he reaches the building hecan see everyone already sitting in the requisite circle, and he wonders what he’s lettinghimself in for….. Those feelings only increase when he takes a seat, beside Richard Baker,and listens to the Business Leaders introduce themselves. There’s going to be someenforced soul-baring going on here, by the sounds of it. It’s now Ton van der Waals’turn….he alludes to his illegitimate birth, the fact that he never knew his father. Dan andRichard look at one another…… ‘See! I told you he was a bastard!’Mike Monsoon of DentalsFlavouring reveals how insecure he is. It’s because of his lack of technical knowledge.Later, he mentions his insecurity. Oh, and did we realise that he’s actually very insecure?He feels that he’s been promoted beyond his comfort zone. And now it’s the turn of ChrisOldman, who is actually in the same boat, but will never make the gross mistake ofadmitting to it in a public forum. He almost manages to retain the sympathy vote, tellingeveryone that he can’t have children. But, he’s unable to help himself, can’t raise himselfabove gloating on the fortunate position he finds himself in – promoted to Group Leaderof PRD after Brian Hall decided that he couldn’t allow Charles Sellinge to fuck up bothNovel Materials and Process Development.‘OK, so we’re unable to have children,’ saysOldman. ‘But both my wife and myself have good jobs, which give us an excellentstandard of living….’Dan’s feelings of nausea are increased manifold, because it’s Charlesnext. Through a stage-managed, faltering voice, he describes his admiration for Ton, whohas been such a pillar for Charles through this dreadful period of his life, his wifediagnosed with cancer. Actually, over the past few months, Dan has hardly heard Charlesrefer to his wife, except in the most offhand manner. But he does know that Charles isenjoying the special dispensation his situation confers, allowing him to dump tasks onothers, doing even less work than previously. That must have been quite a challenge forthe bastard, but, give him his due, he’s achieved it. It’s time for him to shut up, now, he’salmost crying……oh, I take that back, he is crying. Now, he’s practically bumming Ton inpublic…..GET A ROOM!!! Fortunately, the buck now passes to Ken, and we have to listen towhat a dreadful year he’s had, he’s turned fifty, his mother has died….. Richard and Danexchange another look….. ‘This isn’t for us!!’ The usual things are going through Dan’smind. ‘How many coffee breaks and mealtimes of enforced chumminess do I have toendure before I can get away?’ Already, he is sick of the duplicity. Karl, with his cold eyes,hasn’t spoken to him in months, won’t even return Dan’s “Good Morning!” greetings, yetKarl is now describing himself as a friendly, approachable, generally cuddly team-

member…. someone who is altogether honest and open. Jamie has recently told Dan a fewthings about Karl – apparently, he married Lucy only so she’d be able to get a work visa towork as a teacher…helping support him while he was doing his post-doc in the States withBarton. Karl has been bragging about this to Jamie, meanwhile his dalliance with Kimbecomes ever more obvious. Karl is exactly what Dan always thought he was – a ruthlessuser, morally bankrupt, devoid of any scruples whatsoever. This is sickening.Yet, there aresome people in the room who have a genuine empathy with Dan. Chris Clement, one ofthe executive perfumers, refers to Dan as ‘The Wonder Chemist’. QRM 2885 has gonedown a storm with the perfumers, they want the material straightaway. It’s a foregoneconclusion that this will be another Development Request, probably the most importantone in the Quantum portfolio for quite some time. Richard Bodwin is scaling it up at thisvery moment for Applications testing.The first coffee break comes around. There is asnooker table, but no-one seems to want to play. Dan challenges Steve Bocash of the NMRDepartment to a game, the two of them have always been quite friendly. Steve breaks,then Dan sinks the first red with a satisfying ‘clunk’, prompting Robin Claret to address theassembled audience.‘Is there anything this man can’t do?’Dan catches the look of outrighthatred in the eyes of Dr Karl Martin. The day drags by. In the afternoon, there are syndicatetype exercises to be endured, another big circle. One of the Course Organisers, MaggieSomething-or-Other, is an overt fan of another Maggie…. Mrs Thatcher, and sees Dan rollhis eyes inadvertently as she mentions this for the twentieth time. Dan knows that he’sbeen clocked. He felt he’d been saying enough to get by, certainly more than many of theothers around him. Nonetheless, as everyone now sits down to watch a particularlygrating video on ‘Paradigms’, the people running the course went out of the room. Thistriumvirate consisted of John Apples, Richard Soothers and the Maggie bint. Somehow,Dan feels that he is being discussed. After questions on the presentation, it is time to gohome. As Dan prepares to leave, he is approached by John Apples, with his two hangers-on.‘I couldn’t help noticing that you weren’t contributing much during that last session. So,what do you feel about this course?’Dan is taken aback. His first emotion is an angerwhich he is powerless to express. Playing to the gallery, eh, John? Other people arewalking by slowly and looking on, trying to earwig the exchange.‘This isn’t the procedurefor having such conversations, Mr Apples,’ Dan says flatly. ‘I’ll be happy to have a wordwith you – in private – if you think you can extend me that courtesy. Your friends cancome, too, if they want, but I’m not going to be part of a public spectacle.’After a significantglance, the sidekicks appear to decide that they’ve probably kicked a hornet’s nest, andleave Apples to be stung by himself. His confident face had crumpled as he ushered Daninto a small side-room.‘OK….here we are…’ he said, miserably.‘Thanks John. I know thatMonolever are incredibly proud of this course, but I’d have to say that it’s not nearly soadvanced as they think it is. Everything covered today, I’ve already encountered on aresidential course with Shell, more than ten years ago.’‘There’s a further two days torun…..’‘Well, I’m just making you aware that there hasn’t exactly been anything unfamiliarpresented as yet. That must be tomorrow….right? Secondly, I’d like to know why you

singled me out for attention back there.’‘Oh, it’s just that you weren’t saying much. Charleshad a word with me before the course, he said that you might be inclined not to speak,but that may not reflect how you actually feel…’‘Did he? That was very good of him, veryobliging. Tell me, did the Stasi prepare a list of everyone’s little idiosyncrasies for you tolook out for? Anything else on the list of character traits? How many characters areactually on the list, by the way? Karen, Kim, Karl and Ken are all here today. Are they onthe list, too? What is it you have to spot with them?’‘I’m afraid I can’t answer yourquestions.’‘No, I didn’t expect an answer from you. “I’m afraid I can’t answer yourquestion,” seems to be your stock response. What’s the big Core Value that was beingtrumpeted today….John? OPENNESS?? You need to practice what you preach!’‘Charles hassaid that you are very upset by Tim’s sacking….’‘I’m upset with the manner of Tim’s sacking.I’m upset that he finds out about it on the day he’s sent home. I’m upset that we’re stillwaiting for a viable explanation. Have you got one? Don’t tell me….you can’t answer myquestion.’‘Does Tim’s sacking make you feel insecure?’‘Not in the least, mate! Try it with meand you’ll have trouble on your hands! And, as for the course today, expect me to becomeenthused once you start teaching me something, not before. I saw your so-called CoreValues today. Well, I already live my life by a set of principles, which I am not about tocompromise, and which appear in fact, to be the same Core Values on your little flip-chart.Perhaps there’s a lesson for you there, John. And, by the way, don’t confuse silence withmindset. I’m actually a very open person. Also, if I’ve got something to say, I’ll say it. But, Iexpect you realise that, now?’‘Ah, yes…..I got a clear picture of your values during theepisode with Tim.’‘Fine. See you tomorrow. I’ll let you get back to your chums.’ Things didheat up next day. Everyone had to break up into small ‘therapy’ sessions, trying to repairrelationships which weren’t working. These were supposed to be one-to-one, but Charleswanted to use the session to sort things out within the group. Dan knew that somethingwas brewing, he’d seen the body language between Karl and Kim whenever Core Valueshad been mentioned over the past week or so. Kim had even made thecomment :‘Perhaps things will come to a head when we have Core Values.’There had beenrumblings, formless and nebulous, but Dan felt that, at last, it was about to burst, spillingpus everywhere. He was up for it. The situation could only be better subsequently. So,here we are….Karl and Charles are sitting cosily together in a window seat, Karen and Kimat either side of the table, Ken and Dan furthest away. Where’s Jamie? There’s been somuch happening that Dan had hardly noticed that he was missing. Only later would it bedisclosed that Charles, wishing to keep Dan and Jamie apart, had deliberately omitted himfrom the present course. Right – let them start the talking….Nothing. The atmospherebecame increasingly tense and awkward. But, then, Karl spoke.‘I don’t find it easy to openup,’ he began, ‘But, I’ve got a few things to say.’A suitable pause….‘I’m fed-up with Dangetting all the credit within the Group!’ he blurted out. ‘Even the Perfumers refer to him asThe Wonder Chemist. I have to admit that I’m ambitious, and I feel threatened bythis.’Charles nodded his head, sagely.‘Also, there’s too much secrecy within the Group,’Karl continued. ‘Again, I’m probably the worst offender,’ he confessed. ‘It’s caused by my

ambition, I want to guard what I’m working on…’It was Karen who was straight onto this,turning to Dan.‘How do you feel about that?’ she asked.Here we go….take a breath……make them wait…..calm down before you speak.‘Well, Karl seems to want his cake and eatit. He wants all of us to be open, while he wants to remain secretive. I don’t know whatfurther information he requires – he’s constantly looking over your shoulder, or peering inyour lab-book. Or subjecting co-workers to interrogation, especially in your absence…..’Yeah. Come and get it, mate. Suck it up. I’ve been waiting for this moment.‘…..Whereas,Karl keeps his labbook tightly under lock and key. There’s probably a good reason for that.When he eventually discloses what he’s working on, it usually appears to beuncomfortably similar to what everyone else was working on the previous week….’ Thelittle bastard looked utterly shocked, as did the big bastard sat next to him. There wasplenty to discuss, and no way were they going to walk away from it smelling of roses. Danhad borne their transgressions stoically, without complaint to anyone. And, little by little,he’d beaten them. That was why they were currently so unhappy and demotivated. But,just at that moment, the Group were joined by Richard Baker, Neil Lowing, Teresa Vincent,and, eventually, Steve Bocash…. and the whole thing petered out. No-one was going to sayanything with outsiders present. Again, it struck Dan very forcefully just what a piss-poormanager Sellinge was. He should have told the others that an important session was justbeginning, and that they should stay within their own Group. But, of course, he didn’t. Danfelt that, now, the situation would have to be resolved at some future date. The very nearfuture. There was to be a Group Meeting on Friday – that would be the sensible venue, ifCharles were to grasp the opportunity to clear the air. At the end of the day, there weretwo hours to kill, prior to the course dinner at The Wife of Bath, a restaurant in Wye. Danwas quite happy to spend this time on the snooker table. But, unexpectedly, Karl soughthim out. Did he want to go for a drink….round at Karl’s place? It seemed churlish to refuse,even though Dan anticipated that Karl wanted to elicit opinion from him prior to theGroup Meeting. Whatever. So, Dan made his excuses and left the table. Already, theformat and venue has changed, Karl now wants to go to a pub and discuss ways tomotivate Jamie. Make your mind up. Dan had noticed, on previous occasions, that Karlcouldn’t handle his drink, so he held the advantage, and kept the pressure on, with threequick ones in a row. Now, we can just let it happen….here we go…..he’s unhappy……hedoesn’t want to be a manager…. he doesn’t trust Karen…..he doesn’t trust Charles. This is awaste of time. Off they go to the Wife of Bath, Karl already slurring his words, they’re late,the restaurant is all cosily lit-up, a haven from the wintry night. There is some gossip. ChrisOldman has apparently been accused of being too touchy-feely with a member of hisfemale staff (it can only be Pam Troon or Fiona Rabb), and has recently made the mistakeof disclosing this, in confidence, to Charles. That morning, Charles has told big Carol, whohad been Brian Hall’s secretary and is now seriously underemployed, except in thespreading of malicious gossip. Needless to say, the story is now all round the site, andOldman is utterly livid with Sellinge. Home at 11.15pm. Everyone has been given a furthertask – write a letter to a friend, describing Core Values. Dan reckons he’ll give that one a

miss. Thursday 14th November was the final day of the course. Teresa Brownose, Ton’ssecretary, is first to read her letter out. It was genuinely moving, only because it waswritten from a naïve perspective of heartfelt innocence, believing that it was genuinelypossible for everyone to change for the better. Not for the first time, Dan thought thatTeresa should get out more. After this was all over, the people in this room would make atoken effort, then they’d behave just as they had done previously. If you needed a courselike this to show you how to be a decent human being, then it was already too late, itwasn’t going to happen. And, if proof were required, you need only look at Karen. She, too,had written a letter, one which had filled her with smug pride, she’d already passed it allaround the Novels Group. But now, she wasn’t going to read it out, thanks to the power ofTeresa’s effort.‘How do you follow that?’ she asked, somewhat bitterly, in the subsequentlunch queue. She’d been looking forward to the limelight, and Teresa had stolen it fromher. Well, at least we were on the home stretch, now. Everyone had to break up into theirsyndicate groups, and come up with three points about what Core Values meant to them.Dan was in a group with Richard Baker, Chris Oldman, and some woman called Ruth, frommarketing. But, Chris Oldman had disappeared, he’d been making a bit of an arse ofhimself all morning, kept going on about being offered a job at Pfizer, where his wifeworked as a sales rep. It was OK at first, Dan would be pleased if Oldman fucked off. Bythe twentieth mention, this apparent job offer from Pfizer was becoming a bit tiresome.Richard and Ruth, meanwhile, were in a bit of a flap, but Dan had been struck with an ideaof immense clarity.‘What are we going to say? What are we going to say..?’‘Don’t worryabout it,’ Dan replied. ‘I’ve got it already.’‘Write it down on the flip chart, then! Who’s goingto present it?’‘What? Write it down now…..like the others? There’s no need! I’m going tostand up and sing it…..while I write down the three points.’‘You’re not!!’‘Watch me! You caneither come up with something better, or you can watch me…’ It helped that Dan’s groupwere the last to present. The first few groups have it comparatively easy. Subsequently, aninevitable duplication of points occurs, and, by the eighth or ninth presentation, a torporhad set in amongst the presenters and their audience, everyone now simply goingthrough the motions. So, when Dan stood up and fixed a blank sheet of paper to the flipchart, an air of expectation built very quickly. This was edgy! He had the undividedattention of the entire room, with the particular scrutiny of that Maggie woman, whosensed the possibility of impending disaster.‘Is this a joke?’ she demanded. ‘Where areyour three points?’‘Don’t worry – I’m about to share them with you!’He turned to theboard, and began to write a bullet point. Tension was already rippling through theaudience, some of whom were hoping this would fail spectacularly, while others remainedintrigued. Half-way through writing the sentence, he began to sing it, so that the phrasewas completed concurrently in sight and sound. Then the next bullet point, in the samemanner. By the third one, the audience had twigged, and sang along!- I WANT TO BEHAPPY- BUT I CAN’T BE HAPPY- ’TIL I MAKE YOU HAPPY TOOThere was aspontaneous round of applause.‘He’s done it again!!’ shouted Ruth, a huge grin on herface. Even Maggie was shaking her head in disbelief.‘I have to admit, that is Core Values in

a nutshell!’ she exclaimed. ‘I’ve given this course for many years now, and in all thesumming-up presentations I’ve seen, that is the most original, succinct and effective I haveever witnessed. Well done!’Richard Baker slapped Dan on the back as he took his seat. Hewent home elated, looking forward to the possibility of getting everything out in the openat next day’s Group Meeting.*Next day, however, he has to face the debris caused by athree day absence from the lab, a descent into chaos has occurred. Richard Bodwin ismaking TLC comparisons of the wrong materials, he appears to have no clue as to whathe’s been doing. Not only that, he’s lost the big batch of QRM 2885.‘You’ve lost it?’ Danasks, shocked. ‘How on earth does something like that happen?’‘You went home early onMonday afternoon, before that course you’ve all been on. Karen came through andinsisted on a clean-up of the lab. She reminded me that she’s the lab manager. She threwaway everything that wasn’t labelled…..’‘Really? I see that none of her samples have beenthrown out. I am really pissed off with these people. And, I’m not exactly pleased with you,either. How many times have I asked you to label your samples properly? Well, there’s noway round it, you’re going to have to make it again.’‘WHAT??’‘What do you mean…..WHAT??How do you think this business works? We already know that the material has a fantasticsweet, woody odour, it’s better than the industry standard, Iso E Super. And, Iso E Superisn’t biodegradable, whereas it’s very likely that our material will be biodegradable, it’s nota condensed structure, it’s got no quaternary centres, and it’s got two double bonds forthe bugs to chew on. How much money do you think Quantum pay International Flavoursand Fragrances every year for Iso E Super?’‘I don’t know.’‘Well….look it up. It’s on the QUIPPlist. That’s it…….twenty million quid! It goes into nearly every detergent that Monoleversells. So, that’s what they’d save every year. And, if it’s biodegradable, then they can alsosell it to competitors, it’ll be a nice little earner for them, it’ll blow Iso E out of the water.Are you getting a general feel for it, now? I’ve already told you all of this, Richard…’ButRichard continued to grumble, which was definitely the wrong thing to do.‘Look mate!’ Dancontinued, ‘I know that you don’t like me constantly having to ask you if you’ve run a glc, ifyou’ve run an NMR, if you’ve submitted a material for mass spectrometry….. but, why doyou think I have to keep doing that? You don’t seem to have settled into any kind of aroutine whereby these things are simply done automatically, on autopilot, because youknow that you need that information before you can proceed – then, you record thatinformation, and label your samples appropriately. Despite what you may think, I don’tenjoy having to stay on your tail, and I’d very much prefer not having to do so. You’re areally untidy worker, you don’t label things properly, no matter how many times I’ve askedyou, and it’s not something you can do round here. Space is at a premium, and there’s toomany people itching to throw stuff out, pretending it’s dangerous if they don’t know whatit is – and, you’ve played right into their hands…. they know that this will cause a majorsetback. Now, I’ve tried my best, I’ve given you good work to do. You’ve only been here acouple of months, and, already, you’ve made a potentially multi-million pound molecule……had a big batch of it in a bottle. Now, instead of making more new materials, you’re goingto have to spend the next two weeks synthesising something you already had. Do we have

enough trimethylsilyldiazomethane? No…..I’ll have to order that. Any isopropylmagnesiumbromide? No…..I’ll have to order that, too. Meantime, you’d better get started on making abig batch of cyclododecatriene monoepoxide which you can isomerise. Well…..chop-chop!I don’t know what sort of job you expect at the end of all this, unless it involves changingscreensavers on my computer, because that’s what you seem more interested in doing. Ican read a drop-down menu, too……but, I tend to have other things to do.’Despite hisbusiness-like cajoling, Dan was actually gutted, in the vernacular of the south-east. And,what else is happening? Karl seems to have been in Charles’ office for most of themorning, and out he trots at lunchtime, makes a beeline for Dan.‘This is just to tell youthat Jamie is likely to get a below average grade on his staff report. It’s Ton who insists onit, and we had to fight hard to change his mind on it last year. You’ll be forewarned now, asit’s likely to come up as an issue. Also, Charles wants you to know that it’s not avictimisation of Shell people.’‘So….what sort of merit rise is he likely to get?’‘Nothing. Ton isvery keen to send him a message. Actually, I think that this should be seen as a first stepof a disciplinary procedure. A first warning.’‘You’ve spoken to Jamie about hisperformance, then?’‘No…..not yet.’‘Well, how can it be a first stage of any disciplinaryprocess? Do you just make it up as you go along around here? First verbalwarning…..second verbal warning….first written warning…..second written warning. Ibelieve that’s how it works in the real world.’Karl stormed off on receiving this rebuke, andDan was left with Richard and Ken, both looking at him, oddly, and without empathy, asthough Dan were the person who wasn’t making sense in this looking glass world. Danthought back to the comment he’d made to Jamie on the day Tim was sacked.“Who knowswhere this will end? They’ve got the blood lust now.’Charles comes through the lab andsuggests that everyone goes to the pub at lunchtime. Jamie doesn’t want to attend, Dansuggests that it might be in his interests to be there, as things are bubbling under. He stillexpects that Charles wants to get issues out into the open, the aborted session at EastwellManor has shown the tensions that exist, and today has already revealed more. So, theyall go to the Hooden Horse on the Hill. And what gets discussed? Nothing. Well, it will be atthis afternoon’s Group Meeting, surely? No. Rather than tackle people issues, Charlesorganises this as a Chemistry review meeting, despite the fact that nothing much has beendone, most people have been out of the lab for the entire week.‘And, is everything goingto plan on your scale-up of QRM 2885?’ asks Karen, sweetly.‘Oh yes, don’t worry aboutthat, Karen,’ Dan assures her, breezily, while watching her face closely.The meeting comesto an end, the working week has come to an end, and the opportunity to clear the air hasbeen lost – they’ve bottled it. The only place where they’d ‘open up’ was on a course wherethe situation demanded it. Other than that, it was back to business as usual, being openwasn’t in their nature. So, it was a return to festering resentment, the plotting ofunderhand schemes, never knowing when the knife would be plunged between yourshoulder-blades, and always from behind.Much to his puzzlement, Jamie found himselfcalled into Chris Oldman’s office several times during the next week or two, being askedquestions about Charles and the running of the Novels Group. Did he want to transfer to

Process Development?‘I don’t understand this!’ Jamie says to Dan. ‘What’s goingon?’‘There’s only one thing that I’m sure of, Jamie. Chris Oldman can see that you’re anasset. You’re meticulous and methodical, which is more than can be said for any of themacross that corridor. Apart from that, I haven’t a clue, there are too many parameters inplay at the moment. Just before Tim got sacked, I reckon the two of us started to scareCharles shitless – remember how we just kept slagging off Quantum, slagging off Charles,and we didn’t give a fuck whether the bastard overheard us or not?’‘Yeah….!’ replied Jamie.‘It felt really good, and seeing him helpless to do anything about it made it evenbetter!’‘Well, ever since then, he’s been working on ways to split us up. Let’s look at whathappened next……Charles tried to get me dumped across the corridor, working in PRD.That didn’t work. Then, he accused the Shell boys of sticking together over the labovercrowding. No fucking way did he want the three of us together, tearing into him withCore Values coming up, he was afraid of all his dirty laundry getting aired in public. So,Core Values got delayed and delayed, he engineered big Tim’s sacking, with the approvalof that Dutch twat upstairs. Then, you were the one and only missing member of theNovels Group when we finally did get the Core Values course. Did he ever give you areason for that?’‘Did he fuck.’‘Yeah…but, during the course, he put his big foot in it withChris Oldman….spilled the beans about Oldman’s wandering hands with the young ladies!This is where it gets even more complicated, because, at Core Values, Oldman could seethat Sellinge might be on the slide with his own Group, even Karen and Karl were damninghim with faint praise. Kim tore into him, I tore into him…… and, ever since then, Chris hasbeen going around making trouble for Charles, destabilising his position even further. He’sbeen saying that PRD are a Group, whereas Charles has a collection of individuals. WhatChris doesn’t seem to realise is that Process Development is teamwork by definition, youare optimising a process for someone else’s molecule. In the Novels Group, you stand orfall by the number of useful new molecules you make – and, no matter how much theylike to pretend otherwise, there’s absolutely no teamwork going on. Why would I want tohelp Karl or Karen? They don’t put anything but barriers in my direction. I know thatthey’re not ‘dedicated to my success’ as they like to put it in Core Values speak.’‘So, youreckon Chris is after Charles’ job?’‘All I know is that Chris is utterly blazing mad withCharles at the moment. And, Chris got that PRD job, rather than the more able andqualified Keith Motion, only because Charles thought he could control Chris…… but nowhe’s rebelling against Charles, he sees the chance to head up PRD and Novels, just likeCharles used to do – completely turning the tables on him. Even Karen is starting to turnagainst Charles. The daft mare has begun to believe her own publicity from the Charlesspin machine, she’s too stupid to realise that she’s had such an easy ride, everything donefor her. Charles is a lonely man at the moment….’‘Good!’ replied Jamie, emphatically. ‘I’mnot going near PRD if I can help it, anyway. I’m going to stay where I am and make thatbastard’s life a misery. Does he keep asking you if you’re coming to the Christmas lunch,by the way?’‘Yes. Four or five times he’s asked me now. He needs both of us there tomaintain the pretence that we’re one big happy family. I keep having to decline. He’s not

happy about it, as it doesn’t allow the big Tim affair to be dead and buried. He knows thatpeople will ask why we didn’t attend, and the subject of Tim is bound to come up.’‘Whatreason do you give him for not going?’ asked Jamie.‘I just tell him that I drank too muchlast year. He can’t deny it!’So, the standoff between Charles and what remained of theShell boys continued through December. Just as Charles feared, the entire Departmentwas now discussing the situation, and Tim’s sacking still cast a shadow.One lunchtime, I’dgone upstairs to thank Teresa for her Christmas card. She was standing in the ante-roomto Ton’s office, where the great man remained seated. He always went to lunch a little laterthan the plebs. Straight away, Teresa asked, loudly, if I were going to the Christmas lunch.She already knew the answer, and was simply trying to put me on the spot in front ofTon.‘No. I had too much to drink last year,’ I replied, firmly and equally loudly, making surethe Dutchman could hear.‘Are you sure you’re telling the truth?’ asked Teresa.‘Yes, I’m sureI’m telling the truth, Teresa. I’ve only worked here for two years. Lying hasn’t become away of life for me yet.’It took more than a month before Jamie found out about his non-existent pay rise, the envelopes were handed out on Friday, December 20th 1996, the dayafter the Christmas party. By contrast to Jamie’s slap in the face, Kim had received apromotion! At that stage, despite suspicions, no-one actually knew that her rapid risethrough the ranks was a reward for services rendered. Kim invited everyone across to thebar, Jamie didn’t want to go.‘Come on, Jamie!’ Dan urged him. ‘It’ll only make it worse tostay here.’Kim bought the first round, and Dan quickly bought a second while they waitedfor lunch. Karl bought a round with some old kitty money (he was good at this trick). Danbought another. Everyone ended up having five drinks during the lunch break. Jamie andDan were singing along to Argent’s ‘God Gave Rock and Roll to You’ on the juke-box by thisstage. They returned to the lab, haphazardly, the day written off. Dan bought somecoffees from the machine, Jamie filled these to the brim with spectroscopy ethanol.Several rounds of these were consumed. Karl was now spilling entire cups of coffee overhis trousers. Jamie and Dan went off to look for a party. Eventually, they found one inprogress, over in the Evaluation Department, where friendly women with nice smiles andbig breasts plied them with cans of Heineken, in exchange for their banter. The Shellrebels were completely off their faces. At 6.10pm, they decided that they’d better headback to the Research Department. Or, this may have been decided for them. Dan can’treally remember. What he does remember is that Charles was just heading for home, hewas coming their way, they were coming his way, a little unsteadily. The approach beganalong the long, straight corridor of tarmac formed by the factory to one side, theCompounding building to the other, the atmosphere akin to the prelude to a Wild Westgunfight. A showdown. There was no escape. And, Charles had already lost the fight. Asthe gap closed, he took a sudden interest in the pavement ahead of his feet, he wouldn’tlook Jamie in the eye. Jamie broke the irregular rhythm of his own stride with a suddenleap forward, effectively blocking Charles’ path.‘I want to see you on Monday,’ he rasped,breathing Heineken in Charles’ face. Sellinge looked very uncomfortable indeed, acombination of discomfiture and inhalation of stale beer fumes.‘I won’t be in on Monday.

But, I agree, we have to talk.’Jamie grinned, pleased with his handiwork, as Sellinge slopedoff.‘Yeah, but you can guess what he’s thinking, can’t you, Dan?’ he beamed. ‘That’s thosetwo Shell boys, going around the site, causing trouble, getting drunk. Especially after youtold him you weren’t going to the Research Christmas party because you weren’tdrinking!’‘He’s disempowered, mate!’ Dan slurred. ‘Doesn’t know what to do for themoment. But, there’s one thing for sure….he’s not going to give up on his attempts tobring us back into line.’‘What can he actually do?’‘I dunno, Jamie. You know how it goeshere. They work out their dirty tricks between themselves in the background. Usually, youwon’t have a clue about their little schemes until they just suddenly hit you with one ofthem. You can’t plan for the consequences, all you can do is react. They know that. Then,there’s the stuff that we never find out about, the lies that get told, the spin doctoring……the whole place is rotten to the core.’‘Well…..I’m fucked off with Karl, I’m fucked off withCharles, and I’m fucked off with Ton,’ said Jamie. ‘No way is it fair that Kim gets apromotion and I get fuck-all! I think they’re trying to put the skids under me, now, just likethey did with Tim. But, there’s something doesn’t quite meet the eye here……and, I’m goingto get to the bottom of it, even if it kills me….’This was to prove a remarkably prescientstatement.Chapter 7Third Parties, Fire & TheftMonday 6th January 1997, the first day backat work in the New Year, and Dan, aghast, is being unexpectedly hauled over the coals byCharles for having taken ½ hour too much flexitime for 1996, courtesy of managers beingallowed only five days annual flex.‘This is actually stealing from the Company, and I can’tcondone it,’ says Sellinge, gravely, holding Dan’s time sheet, and refusing to sign it.‘I can’tbelieve your attitude!’ exclaims Dan. ‘It’s perfectly simple how it’s happened…..I’ve takenfive days in total, just as I’m allowed….. some of them are half days, but the nominalworking day is 7¼ hours. When I’ve put in a half-day allocation, I’ve used 3¾ hours,because that’s the nearest fraction without being ridiculous. Anyway, why the big fuss?Let’s not forget that I gave the Company nearly 30 hours last month with flexitime hours Ican’t carry forward. In fact, every month, I give the Company almost an additional workingweek in time I can’t bank.’‘Nonetheless, rules are rules.’‘Yeah. I can see that now, Charles.Well, I’d better not break them, eh?’‘It’s inadvisable.’‘Well, you can forget your extra thirtyhours a month, for a start.’‘That’s entirely up to you.’But, Dan knew that withdrawal ofunpaid labour wasn’t actually an option. With the continual distractions of working in aplace like this, there wasn’t enough time in the day to do everything required to keep theshow on the road for the three people in his team. He’d turned down Quantum’s kindoffer of a company laptop, but Karl and Karen both had these devices, and wouldregularly ‘boast’ of having worked until midnight, or the wee small hours. So….youcompete – or you don’t survive. Jamie wasn’t back until the Tuesday. He’d worked out aplan during the Christmas break. Charles and Karl had been most insistent that Jamie’sunsatisfactory appraisal had been as a result of Ton wishing to send a message. There wasnothing they could do about it, they claimed, their hands had been forced by theDutchman. Well, Jamie now wanted a round table discussion, all four of them, Charles,Karl, Jamie….and Ton. Then, he’d find out who was telling the truth. Shock and horror

registered on Charles’ face. He tried to back out of this arrangement right away, sayingthat it would be ‘too heavy’ for Ton. Strange, when all of the complaints were supposed tohave originated from him.‘I don’t mind seeing Ton by myself,’ replied Jamie. ‘But, I still wanta meeting with all of us present.’So….this was set for the Thursday. Afterwards, Jamiegleefully related to Dan that Charles had his butt well and truly kicked. He’d been forced toback down on the story that he’d received telephone calls from all over site, peoplereporting that they’d seen Jamie wandering about instead of working. Jamie had alwaysbeen doubtful that this had taken place – mainly because he hadn’t been wanderingaround the site. He therefore challenged this point specifically. Ton said that he’d verifywhat the originators had said…… if Charles could provide him with the names of thepeople who’d called him up. More shock horror…… Charles, back-pedalling all the time,was forced to modify what he’d said, to a thoroughly bemused Ton.‘Oh, it was justmentioned in passing……there weren’t any telephone calls.’‘Yes, it makes you wonderabout all those other “telephone calls” that he was supposed to have received about Tim,doesn’t it?’ Dan asked Jamie, outraged by the implications. ‘Another figment of hisimagination? Enough to deprive someone of their livelihood….’‘You know what, Dan?’ saidJamie, thoughtfully, ‘That’s it for me, now. I’ve done a pretty good job, and all I receive formy trouble is a slap in the face and an empty paypacket. From now on, the bastards willget what I decide to give them – whatever I think they deserve.’‘I don’t blame you for that,Jamie. We’re going to have to tread very carefully, though, they’re definitely gunning for us.I received a little warning from Charles earlier in the week, designed to let me see thatstanding up to him isn’t in my best interests.’ Later that Thursday, Charles comes into thecentral office, still ashen-faced from the fiasco with Ton. Next day, there is supposed to bean all-day Group Meeting. This is something which Charles himself has arranged. Theformat is supposed to be about work programmes in the morning, then a pub lunch, anda Core Values session in the afternoon. Maybe, at long last, the simmering resentmentscan be brought out into the open.Only one problem…..well, two, actually.Charles has nowdiscovered that he’s got two other meetings running concurrently. Another disorganisedmess. He’s not exactly overburdened by work, yet can’t even arrange his meetingsproperly. Too busy stirring it up, telling lies….. Anyway, in he comes, obviously flustered,trying to regain some of his composure by talking down to his Group.‘Would it be alrightto try to adopt a Core Values attitude for the meeting tomorrow?’ he asks. ‘We must try torekindle the spirit of Eastwell Manor….’Most of the others nodded their heads, like goodlittle boys and girls. Dan, however, was having none of it.‘I thought the whole point of CoreValues is that we shouldn’t have to change our behaviour – certainly not if we’re practicinghonesty in our day to day dealings with one another.’There was a deathly silence. Jamiehad been debriefing everyone about what had just taken place, how the malicious lieswhich Charles had been spreading about him had been exposed. Jamie gave Dan a‘thumbs up’ sign, and Charles left the room without another word.* Charles didn’t makethe 10am meeting with his Group next day, Friday 10th January 1997. He eventuallyshowed up at 11.20am, without a single word of explanation. As he now had his other big

meeting, everyone went off to lunch without him, at the Singleton Barn, a sterile themepub. When he did, eventually, join the merry throng, his presence sat like a lead weight.Everyone returned for the afternoon session, which would now just be about workprogrammes, a Core Values session had been kicked into the long grass once more. Gradually, it was revealed that everyone had plenty of work to do. Everyone, that is, apartfrom Karl, Kim and Jamie. Karl was still attempting to get into Karen’s Rossol area. Jamiehad scaled up Rossol, and Karl had used this as a stepping stone to make his ownanalogues…. but Karen is obviously upset by this, and has been canvassing Charles in thebackground. Jamie is about to scale-up one of Karen’s related muguets, and, after that,she wants no further ‘assistance’ from Karl’s team. So, where’s this situation going to go?Dan strongly suspects that Karl will be back trying to scavenge from him again. Theprospect makes him feel really tired as he drives home. He knows that there’s a stack ofpaperwork sitting on his desk at home, he needs to clear the decks this weekend, as thenext two weekends will be spent preparing for yet another forthcoming Barton meeting.And, these hours spent working at home are additional to the thirty or so hours heroutinely loses each month on the Quantum time clocks. As he dreams at his desk onSaturday morning, no wonder he feels such bitter resentment at Sellinge’s comment, theone which ushered in 1997, about “stealing from the Company.” Monday morning, Jamie isabout to do the scale-up of Karen’s muguet. Here we go… Karl comes sidling up.‘Do youhave any scale-up work to carry out? Jamie won’t have anything to do after he’s finishedhere.’‘No thanks,’ Dan replies. He is surprised, in many ways, that Karl even has thetemerity to ask. He must be desperate. But, he’s also dangerous again, he’ll have noticedthe mutual antagonism between Charles and Dan, he knows that Dan won’t be supportedby his Group Leader, no matter what happens. Indicating the extent of his desperation,Karl now says that he wants his entire lab, that’s himself, Jamie and Kim, to be working onresynthesis. The guy is not only a thief, he’s completely devoid of imagination, andshouldn’t be working in the Novel Materials Group. Why doesn’t he just get a job inProcess Development and be done with it? Yes, here’s the next stage, it doesn’t take long.Because Dan has several molecules in development, he has quite a bit of resynthesis todo. He’s being pressurised by Charles to pass some of it over to Karl, keep him busy,maintaining the pretence that we’re one big happy family. Because he knows thelikelihood of what will happen next, Dan defers this for as long as possible, through mostof January. Eventually, he’s forced to comply, and gives Karl homo-muscenone delta toscale up. It uses a 12-membered ring chloro ketone as the starting material…..Meanwhile,Dan has assigned Richard the task of using the same chloro ketone in a Favorski RingContraction, to give 11-membered ring analogues of QRM 2885. Dan knows that this willbe successful, because he has already tried it with the requisite doubly-unsaturatedanalogue, it had worked perfectly. Dan did a Beilstein search on the area, and wasgratified to note that these molecules would be novel. He printed out the results, forreference. But Karl was intrigued by the printer activity – and, on the pretext of helpfullypicking up the printout to put on Dan’s desk, was having a good look at what he was about

to do.‘These molecules look interesting,’ he said.Already, Dan’s heart is sinking. It wouldn’tbe long before Karl realised how Dan was going to make them, and that the chloro ketonewas a good starting material – the same material where Charles had forced Dan to handover some of his stock, in order to resynthesise homo-muscenone delta. Talk aboutmaking it easy for them!!!! The situation was made even worse, and even more nerve-wracking by the fact that the Lotus Notes server was burned out, and wouldn’t bereplaced for a few days. So, Dan had been unable to enter the idea into the IdeasDatabase. Dan had hoped for this work to keep Richard busy and productive, at thestudent’s usual leisurely pace. Already, it was developing into the inevitable hell-for-leatherdash, of which Dan was becoming thoroughly sick and tired. Next day, Karl camewandering up to Dan’s fumehood first thing in the morning. He’d obviously been givingsome thought to the Beilstein printout, and had now realised that Dan had even beenconsiderate enough to provide the requisite starting material. So….instead of using thisfor a scale-up of Dan’s material, it could now be used to rip him off….again.‘It’s funny, youknow…’ Karl began, ‘But, at home, I’ve got pages and pages of possible things to do……and,that ring contraction was one of them.’Dan cannot believe the nerve.‘Well…..if you’d hadthat idea, and you thought it was a good one, I guess it shouldn’t really have stayed on asheet of paper at home, should it? I try to actually work on my best ideas.’Karl turnedaround and stormed off. There are now only two more working days to prepare for theBarton visit, but Dan can’t concentrate on that for the moment. He has already made thering-contracted acid by the Favorski reaction, and wants to get the 11-membered ketoneinto the system. But, his good bottle of butyllithium has been ‘borrowed’, replaced with acloudy bottle of unknown molarity. He rushes the reaction, and it goes too far, theintermediate ketone is converted to the unwanted tertiary alcohol. Now, Dan is really fed-up. He has lost a day where he could have been preparing for Barton, and has wasted 15grams of his precious ring-contracted intermediate, irreversibly converting it to a valuelessproduct. It’s now Friday 31st January, Barton will be here on Monday 3rd February, and Karlhas yet another trick up his sleeve, hoping it to be a dirty one.‘How are you going toresynthesise that cassis molecule that Ken made?’ he demands. ‘I’ve worked out a route,’he goes on to announce, smugly. ‘I’m going to present it at the Barton meeting!’I wonderedwhat he’d been slogging away at all week on paper. He’d done no lab-work whatsoever(not that he had any to do).‘Are you, indeed? Well, it might have been better to check outmy thoughts on the actual structure. I’ve been using the chemistry to teach Ken aboutchromatography and NMR, and it’s a slow process. I know what the structure is, and it’ll beregistered properly when Ken shows some indication that he understands what he’sdoing. It’s not the same structure as Ken thinks – I was saving that as a nice little surprisefor the Barton meeting.’I stood back to watch the effect of that announcement, and wasamused to see his face lose some of its colour. His sneaky week’s work was down thedrain.‘So…..what do you think it is, then?’ he asks, eventually.‘As I said, it’s a nice littlesurprise for Monday. But, if it becomes your business before then, I’ll tell you!’He’d lostagain. He’d tried hard, mind you, but he’d lost.* However, there was still the meeting itself

to be prepared for. It’s now Saturday, February 1st, and I could scarcely believe that amonth had passed since Ne’erday. This Barton meeting had been a sword of Damoclesever since it was announced last November. Now, it was almost upon us, and I still wasn’tready. First of all, I needed some coherent diagrams. These would have to explain all thepossibilities of the cassis work, so that I could support the structure I’d assigned it…..and,the information would have to be contained within the minimum number of slides, tokeep everyone focussed. Saturday evening tea came round….and I was still slogging awayat my task. Now, I’d have to prepare overheads. Well, same as usual, then, every bloodyBarton meeting, I end up down at Quantum on Sunday afternoon, photocopyingoverheads, still not entirely sure regarding what I’m actually going to say about them. Atleast I’m doing this on my own time, and not stealing from the Company. I didn’t enjoySunday lunch. Got into the car at 2.55pm, began my tedious journey, southbound on theM20. Grey misery overtook me as I photocopied the overheads. 6.10pm when I left, nearly7pm by the time I was back home. I’ve only got the actual talk to prepare and practicenow…… However, the actual Barton meeting went well. I found that the time I’d spent onweekend preparation had clarified my mind, and I was quite confident that we could dosomething about increasing the yield of this exotic and desirable by-product from Ken’sreaction, a highly-odorous cassis, formed in miniscule amount by carbonium ion cascade-induced ring collapse. I ran my suggestions past Sir Derek.‘You should be able to have thatdone by tomorrow!’ he said.‘Yeah….no problem!’ I accepted the challenge.‘He will, too!’ Icould hear someone say in the audience. I think it was Roy Lucas.The meeting ended witha question session, a review of everything Barton had heard that day. The synthesis of a 7-membered ring analogue of Rossol had come up earlier, it was Karl who’d proposed it as atarget. Yep – still trying to rip off Karen. Barton, alerted to it, had now come up with asynthesis – he took to his feet, and put it up on the board. But, I had a better one. It hadjust come to me, in a flash! I knew it was the business! I also knew that this wasn’t exactlybeing deferential to Barton….. but, I’d be silly to let the moment pass. You could haveheard a pin drop in the room when, after Sir Derek had sat down, I took to the floor,picked up the chalk, and illustrated my route on the board. It involved the alkylation ofbutadiene sulphone as a masked diene, then reaction of this with an oxyallylic zwitterion,easily obtained from dichloroacetone.‘That’s a very good route,’ said Sir Derek. ‘And, if youwere an academic, I should hate you!’ The meeting continued through the Tuesday, and Inoticed that Karl had absented himself, even though he was an ex-student of Barton. Iknew he was up to something, so I took my leave at coffee time, rushed down to the lab.And there, in the central office, was Karl’s lab-book, large as life. And he was using mychloro ketone, the material I’d given him, to synthesise the saturated 11-membered ringacid, a molecule which was part of the project for Richard. Karl hadn’t given up at all. Icould scarcely believe the audacity, although outrageous behaviour was becomingcommonplace in that awful lab. And what was Richard Bodwin doing in the meantime?He’d prepared the same molecule last week, but the bloody stuff was still sitting insolution, he hadn’t bothered his arse doing anything all the time I was upstairs with

Barton yesterday….and today, expecting me to still be involved with Barton, he was sittingon that selfsame arse, browsing the Internet, not a care in the world. I walked up to wherehe was sitting, and had a word in his ear.‘If I were you, I’d take some steps towards gettingthat 11-membered ring isolated, esterified, and registered into the system……because, ifyou take a walk into the central office and glance at Karl’s notebook, you’ll find that, if youdon’t….he will.’Richard got up and lumbered through to the office. Karl was in the next-door lab, busy with Kim, but he could see the little, unexpected flurry of activity around hislab-book. It had been both careless and atypical of him to leave it open like that. As soonas he reasonably could, he was back in the central office, the lab-book was closed, placedin a drawer, and locked away. Nothing was said. However, he must be really upset,knowing that the game was up – again – and that there was now no way for him to getahead in his latest ripoff. Needless to say, I didn’t attend the final day of the Bartonmeeting on the Wednesday. In any case, it had turned into even more of a farce thanusual. Charles and Ton had only been able to attend the Monday sessions, they were awayon another two day training course for Core Values. I went out for a meal with Sir Derekon the Wednesday night, though. He showed me a photograph of his two collies – theywere trained to wake him up by barking at 3am, so that he could do five hours of literaturework before the day began in earnest. Chemistry is certainly a game forobsessives.Anyway, look at me, a working class boy from Maybank – having dinner with aNobel Prizewinner, sharing a bottle of wine costing over £200. He’d become a NobelLaureate in 1969, when I was a gawky adolescent of 13, already disillusioned, and with mynose broken. Afterwards, I was tempted to drive back along the A251 and A252, trying torecapture the feel of the old days, coming home from the New Year parties in the Zephyr,the headlights catching the arch of leafless trees along the Station Road. But, it wasgetting late, and time dictated that I use the M20 to get back at a reasonable hour. All toooften, when we choose the path of responsibility, we lose the path ofromance.*Apparently as a result of the latest Core Values training, Charles now wants tosee everyone in the Group, an exercise which would take up the remainder of that week.These were to be individual sessions, despite the fact that there had never been a follow-up to the aborted open Group discussions. It was obvious that Charles didn’t want anyopen session to take place – he was likely to come out of it badly. By contrast, thesesneaky little information-gathering exercises in his office are right up his street, offeringfurther opportunity to feed tittle-tattle into the spin which he would regularly present toTon as the truth. And, in a one-to-one scenario, there could be no united front againstCharles, no scathing criticism… The slow progression of people trouped in and outof Charles’ office, emerging with a very guarded attitude regarding what had just beendiscussed. Eventually, it was the turn of Dan, 4.30pm on the Thursday evening. All verystilted and awkward. Dan hates that office. He’s hated it ever since the first day he’d everbeen at Quantum, for an interview. He disliked Charles on sight….. now he’s grown todespise him. And Dan was never good at hiding his feelings, his eyes are a clear window tohis emotions.Charles clears his throat.‘Well…..can you tell me what it is that motivates

you?’‘Sure,’ Dan replies. ‘I like making new molecules – it’s creative. I like identifying them,it’s an intellectual puzzle, piecing together different parts of the jigsaw from variousspectroscopic sources until you’ve got an unambiguous structure. I enjoy the challenge ofoptimising such materials. And, sending them off for testing is exciting, you never knowwhat properties may be discovered. When they do fulfil a need, it’s rewarding…’Danreceived a long, hard look.‘And…that’s it..?’So, Dan looked him in the eye.‘That’s about it.Creativity….challenge….excitement….fulfilment. What else is there? Not everyone getsthese things from their job. Mind you, sometimes it comes at a high price….’Dan is tryingto get onto the subject of de-motivators. Then, perhaps he can talk about Karl. Charles,however, is a plodder. He is still firmly stuck in the world of motivators.‘What aboutmoney? What about power and influence over others?’‘I expect to be fairly paid for what Ido. Everyone does. As for the latter, I’m not interested in dominion over others. I don’tneed the ego trip.’Dan was now treated to a very appraising look.‘There’s something I wantto bring up with you. You’ve got a lot of experience, and you’ve got a lot of good ideas.Often, these can spark off ideas for other people. You shouldn’t keep them to yourself,you should share them with the Group. No-one is waiting to take them away fromyou.’Dan suppressed a bitter laugh. He guessed that this had come from Karl, who’d hadone of the first sessions. Let’s see if we can tease this out…..‘I’m sorry, I don’tunderstand…..’‘Well…..apparently, there has been a time recently when Karl had an idea,then found out that you were already working on it. There have been times when you’vebeen working on the same things.’‘Yes, Charles….let’s just see how such circumstancescome about. Why not start with the acylated cyclododecenes? I believe I started thatthread with a novel epoxide rearrangement product, which the perfumers becameinterested in. I looked up several, alternative, cheaper ways to possibly make suchmolecules, and gave this to Ken to investigate while I was on holiday. When I return, I findthat Karl has asked Ken for the chemicals and the information, and has commandeeredthe entire area – in the process, getting the structures wrong, and not even checking fornovelty! Tell me, do you condone such despicable behaviour…?? Because, it certainlyappears that you not only condone it, you encourage it! You didn’t support my position.What gave Karl any sort of right to get involved in my work – especially in such anunderhand manner? This was part of a project I’d written for a Sandwich student youfoisted upon me, it was a project you’d seen and approved….yet you didn’t prevent Karlfrom taking the entire area away from us, until I showed that he was submitting the wrongstructures!! So…..what do you have to say about the assurances you were offering meearlier? What were your exact words? “No-one is waiting to take them away fromyou…!”…’Charles just looks at Dan with that fish-faced stare of his. Dan isn’t finished, inany case.‘It doesn’t bode too well for sharing my ideas around, does it? And, it’s stillhappening. Karl has his entire ‘team’ working on resynthesis of other people’s molecules,and he’s using resynthesis to siphon work from everyone else. These are materials whichthe Perfumers are already interested in, so the hard graft has been done for him, he’sgetting the best materials on a plate, without any effort on his part. He’ll take anything he

can, because he knows that you’re not going to apply any sanction. Only this week, hetook an intermediate which I gave him for the express purpose of scaling up homo-muscenone delta, and he used it instead to try to beat me to a Favorski ring-contractionproduct, an area which is part of that same project for Richard, where I’d made you awareof my intentions months previously. So….could this be what he was complaining about toyou? Who do you suggest is actually in the wrong? Did he tell you the full story? Why don’twe get him back in here, and we’ll see…?’But, Charles didn’t want a round table discussion.He was still smarting from the one he’d been forced to have with Ton, Karl andJamie.‘Ah….yes……perhaps that wouldn’t be appropriate. Anyway, I’d like you to share morewith the Group.’‘I do share with the Group, Charles. I share with Ken. I share with Richard.They are my responsibility – not Karl, Kim and Jamie. Not Karen and Suzi……although, I’mrelieved of that duty at least, because you’re the one who keeps Karen’s group suppliedwith targets. Not that they get through them quickly.’‘Suzi is going across the corridor toPRD now that the Rossol work has been completed,’ Sellinge informed Dan.‘Well, that’sgreat! So, let me see if I’ve got this right……. Karen gets a Sandwich student so that she cancomplete her Rossol patent without actually doing any practical work herself. And, oncethat task is completed, Suzi gets kicked out, with half of her studentship still to run, so thatKaren doesn’t have to supervise anyone, and can continue with her main task of writingup her PhD thesis…’‘It’s not like that at all. Chris needs all the help he can get withSilverone.’‘I’ll tell you what, then, Charles……since Karl is so keen on doing Richard’s projectfor him, why don’t we just agree to let him have it? Then, Richard can go across to PRD too,and give Chris a nice, big hand with Silverone. I hope Chris needs someone to browse theInternet for him….’‘What are you saying?’‘I’m saying many things, but, fundamentally, whatI’m saying is that Karl’s actions are WRONG. What he’s doing isn’t teamwork…..far fromit…..it’s plagiarism…. it’s theft. It’s completely out of order, an utter lack of respect forcolleagues, and that needs to be recognised – by you. More than anything else, it needs tostop.’‘It’s getting late now, perhaps we should draw a line here….’ So, that was that, then.My own concerns brushed aside, to make life easier for the weasels. I couldn’t win here.Keep pushing, and I’d be branded a troublemaker…..the Tim episode and outcomeremained fresh in my mind. Charles had simply stuck with his original intention, trying toget me to hand out my ideas and look cheerful about it. It struck me that he wasn’t toogood at thinking on his feet. Or on his arse. If you’ve never worked in a relentlesslycompetitive environment, it is perhaps difficult to convey the sense of utter unfairness ofthe prevailing situation. From the experiments I’d been doing recently, it looked as thoughmy own work – the work I’d then trickle down to Ken and Richard, was about to hit thebuffers. I’d worked for three days over the Christmas ‘holidays’, in my room at home, onmy own time, to pull together our present portfolio. It made Charles’ ‘stealing from theCompany’ comment about my ½ hour flexitime all the more difficult to stomach. On thatfirst day of the New Year, he couldn’t wait to send me an overt message that I was out offavour. Now, that programme of work which I’d prepared at home, in my own time, out ofthe way of prying eyes, it was coming to an end….mainly because Charles has moved the

goalposts, and increased the priority of the cassis by-product. And, here’s Karl, still readyto jump into any part of my work which looked promising. How many monkeys could Icarry on my back? And, when my work ran out, what was I actually going to ‘share’ withthem?What would they ever….ever share with me?Is it my job to keep the entire Grouprunning? Well, is it? Indeed, it looks like it…. Unless I come up with the goods, there won’tbe many new materials to test, because everyone else is involved in writing up, orresynthesis! So, it’s now Monday 10th February 1997, Dan walks through the turnstiles withonly one day of work for Ken to carry out, and it gives the wrong result……a huge amountof an unsaturated aldehyde which would, under normal circumstances, be very useful – itcould easily give a novel, unsaturated amber material…..but, only a miniscule amount ofthe ring contracted blackcurrant by-product. In conclusion, the experiment was of no usewhatsoever in Charles’ current drive for cassis, cassis, cassis……Dan wishes that he’d nevercarried out the initial reaction….wishes that he’d never given some of the work to Ken todo…..wishes that he’d never sorted out all of Ken’s mistakes, patiently using these to trainKen in chromatography and NMR…..Now, Quantum are looking for a total synthesis of thiscassis molecule, something which is easily capable of swallowing up three man years,without any guarantee of success. It’s a PhD project for someone. Except, in the unrealQuantum universe, they’ll be looking for the answer in three days…..and, expecting you tomake novel materials at the same time. It’s a fucking crazy place. I’m more or less back tothe same, utterly unrealistic state of affairs endured back in 1994, when I was expected tocrank out novel materials every day of the week, solve Ton’s Process Developmentproblems with undecylenic acid, and write a complete review on everything which hadever been done, in the entire world, in the area of macrocyclic synthesis. In my ownfucking time, evenings and weekends. I hate Quantum. I hate this fucking toilet of a site. Ialso know I’m being stitched up, but that knowledge is no salve against the relentless,remorseless pressure, the feelings of isolation. For a PhD Chemist, when you walk throughthose turnstiles of a morning, with nothing up your sleeve, you are entering a lonely andinhospitable place. You feel like a fake.It’s not a good feeling.I suddenly wondered what I’ddone with all the money I’d earned since becoming mortgage-free after leaving Shell? Whyhad I been unable to save? I know that the kids absorbed quite a lot, but, even so, I musthave been careless. I mean, finally coming to my senses as I’d talked with Linda during theChristmas break a few weeks ago, I’d seen that we should be able to save £1,000 a month! Richard Bodwin was never one for getting on with some Chemistry, if, instead, he could sitin front of a PC screen for an hour or two. Today, he was the harbinger of odd,unexpected, and rather sinister news.‘There’s a message on e-mail about Monoleverselling its Speciality Chemicals Business,’ he informed Dan, who was setting up some newwork.‘OK…..I’ll have a look at it later.’Dan wondered what it was all about. It took fifteenminutes or so before he had the opportunity to sit down and read the message forhimself….MONOLEVER ANNOUNCES ANNUAL RESULTS AND INTENDED SALE OFSPECIALITY CHEMICALS BUSINESSES.Here we are…..first of all, the 1996 results, pre-taxprofits up 15%.....blah, blah, blah…. and, at the bottom, almost as a throwaway

line….Monolever announces today it intends to sell its international Speciality ChemicalsBusinesses – Nationwide Adhesives, Quantum International, Monochemie, andCrosachem – as part of the strategic development of its portfolio.So, there we are –plunged into uncertainty once more. A meeting was called for 10.15am, Ton was going tobrief everyone. However, he was still being briefed himself, and didn’t arrive in the packedConference Room until after 10.45am. The remainder of the day was written off inspeculation. Dan’s family was going bowling that night with Karen and Clive Danone andtheir two kids, Hollie and Bradley, old neighbours from Grove Green. The Murdochs hadremained friendly with many previous neighbours… the Dennisons, the Danones, the Rossfamily. It was only their current neighbours, the Diggers, who had proven impossible toget along with. At the weekend, the Diggers had put on a CD single by M-People, full blast,on repeat, opened their windows, then went out for the day. They were obviously spoilingfor trouble…… Clive Danone, a builder, had been caught up in the housing marketrecession of the early 1990s. He’d become bankrupt, they’d lost their house. Presently,they were living in a rented house, over in Mereworth. In 1997, life wasn’t looking all thatgood for anyone apart from the uber-rich. The Tories had held power for 18 years, andnow seemed to see themselves as the natural party of Government, confident that no-onewas going to boot them out. After all, look what they’d done to the British people fornearly two decades – they’d sold every nationalised asset to their friends in the City, at aknockdown price…. sold off the stock of Local Authority housing, to create furtherhomeowners and expand the envelope of Tory voters. In the process, they’d overheatedthe housing market and created a credit explosion as these assets were remortgaged,sucking in imports of luxury cars from countries which still made such vehicles. To put thebrakes on this, and since they conveniently controlled the Bank of England, they’d pushedinterest rates to an unprecedented 16%, bankrupting many of their homeowner voters.During the ‘Big Bang’, they’d deregulated the banks, which, by now, weren’t evenpretending to be anything other than havens for grossly overpaid spivs and crooks,pushing financial products whose consequences were fully understood by no-one. TheGovernment had broken the power of the Unions, pushing through EmploymentLegislation which gave British workers less security of employment than anywhere else inEurope. And, still the sheep came back to vote for them, everyone wishing to be bourgeoisand aspirational. People who were buying their Council house, and had a few shares inBritish Gas, flew the flag and voted Tory. Confident of retaining such votes, the real Torieswere up to their neck in sleaze. Their snouts were in the trough just as deeply as theycould go, and they didn’t care who knew it, their arrogance and contempt for the publicwas blatant. Neil Hamilton, a money-grabbing nonentity, and his odious wife Christineseemed to encapsulate the zeitgeist, displaying their attitude for all to see. But, slowly,people were starting to see. Prime Minister John Major was panicking, proroguingParliament in an attempt to minimise the effects of an inquiry into the murky world of‘Cash for Questions’. It’ll be amusing to see this man on his moral high horse, twenty-twoyears later, taking Prime Minister Boris Johnson to court in an attempt to prevent a

Parliamentary suspension, aimed at facilitating our exit from the European Union.For themoment, here in 1997, it feels as though the Tory epoch may be coming to an end.As forDan, he definitely feels that something, some major stage in his life, is almost over. Heknows that he could become very rapidly downwardly mobile in a chaotic, helter-skelter,irreversible process, and that this will happen. In his present trajectory of conflict withSellinge, it is inevitable. Whether it occurs now, or at some stage in the future, depends onhis present resolve. Will he apply himself to survival, or will he throw in the towel? Here Istand, on the edge of an abyss, bowling in a ten pin bowling alley, right after thisannouncement from Monolever, plunging an already chaotic situation into turmoil. It’s aketamine trip of unreality. Unbidden, Karen reminds me of the old days at GroveGreen.‘We could always see the light on, late, in your room upstairs. We knew how hardyou were working.’‘Yeah…. I’m just the same,’ I replied, trying my best at a rueful grin.‘Worse, if anything, because I’ve really changed jobs twice since those days. I’ve had to re-learn everything from scratch, while dealing with colleagues who are ambitious andcompetitive…..and, they often play dirty. I’d have to say that I’m getting pretty tired of it,now.’‘How’s your job going?’‘Awful! I hate it, and most of the people are beneath contempt.Not only am I going through a particularly bad patch at the moment, but there’s a lot ofuncertainty about the future.’‘I guess it’s not like Clive’s situation,’ said Karen. ‘He can leavehis job and get another job anywhere. There’s always a demand somewhere in thebuilding trade. The problem with your job is that it’s so specialised – it must be difficult tofind another opening in the same line.’‘Impossible would be a closer assessment! Even ifthe jobs were available, they’ll give them to someone just out of University long beforethey’ll employ a 41 year old.’There was a short silence at this statement of fact, and I feltobliged to fill it.‘You can’t blame them, either,’ I continued. ‘We cost too much, and wecause nothing but trouble, because they can’t push us around in quite the same manner.’Iactually felt sick. Here I was in a bowling alley, trying to be chatty and friendly, whileeverything was falling apart around me. And, if I’m going to continue to fight against beingpushed around, I’d better have some sort of contingency plan. I need to come up with acassis work programme pronto, it’s what I should be doing tonight, instead of throwingmeaningless balls at skittles…..Not that making cassis is any more meaningful. It’s all justbuying time in unreal world. The cassis problems will require the peace and quiet of aweekend, time to think, away from colleague scrutiny. But the weekend is a few daysaway. Next day, Dan gets himself an oxygen cylinder, prepares a last-ditch type of reaction,an oxidative cleavage of catechol, to give cis-2,4-hexadiene-1,5-dicarboxylic acid. If thisworks, and it’s a big if, it will give a cheap starting material, one that has never been usedfor making macrocyclic musks, and that cis-geometry will be a huge aid to subsequentcyclisation. So, the idea is a good one, but Dan isn’t at all hopeful about the oxidativecleavage. The literature is vague, and appears unreliable. The day goes past in a strangefeeling of pent-up panic. There are also all manner of fiddly, nit-picking little jobs to do,that soak up time. And, here comes another one, one which could easily absorb the entireweekend he requires for cassis review.Charles comes through the lab, makes a beeline for

Dan….oh, oh!!‘Professor Barton congratulates the producer of the set of minutes from thelast meeting….,’ he begins. Jesus….it’s obvious where this is going. Well, you’d best spell itout, because I’m saying nothing!Dan offers no encouragement, and Sellinge is forced tocontinue.‘I can’t see me finding the time to getting round to writing the minutes. Wouldyou like to do them again?’‘No, Charles, I wouldn’t like to do them again. First of all, youwere the one who volunteered to take them this time. Made quite a big song and danceabout it, as I recall, while the Prof was here on that first day.’‘That’s just the point. I don’thave a full set of notes. I couldn’t attend on the subsequent days.’‘I’m in the same position.I don’t have a full set of notes, either. And, I couldn’t attend on the subsequent days.’‘Whynot..?’‘Too busy keeping an eye on what Karl was getting up to. Good job I did!’‘I’ll see Karlabout it, then!’ he replies, preparing to storm out.‘Yeah….you do that! But, he won’t have afull set of notes either, as he was too busy ripping me off!’ Dan jeers. There is never peacein this place to make a proper start on anything complex. Here comes Charles again, thistime with Mike Sanders, Research Business Leader, a suit from the decrepit ‘Tower Block’of Administration and Management, the man who actually provides the money to makethe Research Department run. He’s going to give us all an off-the-cuff talk on how heperceives the Monolever announcement. You had to admire Mike Sanders – with nopreparation whatsoever, he gives a fully-structured 90 minute talk with a conclusion.Unfortunately, the conclusion is that he knows as much as anyone else…. fuck all. It is,nonetheless, obvious that he feels betrayed by Monolever, which he had joined fourteenyears previously, after completing a degree in History.‘It was Monolever I joined, notQuantum!’ he complains. ‘But, the way I feel now, even if they offered me a way out,perhaps making ice-creams in Gloucestershire, I’d tell them where to go….’Yeah…sure,Mike.It was enough to get Charles started.‘I must admit, I was forced to think long andhard about my future. I wondered whether to telephone my friends within the FragranceIndustry. But, I have decided that I am committed to Quantum.’Sanders and Sellingedrifted away. Kim began to laugh.‘Well…..don’t you all just feel so much better, knowingthat Charles is staying?’‘Why the fuck doesn’t he look for another job?’ moaned Karl.‘MrMotivator does it again!’ exclaimed Jamie. Charles had a nice little annual scam going.Every year, while travelling to his holiday home in France, he’d visit some FrenchUniversities, giving his well-practiced, but still dreadful talk on the Fragrance Industry. He’dsometimes make promises to arrange placements at Quantum for French students, butonly if they fitted the triple criteria of being female, compliant and unthreatening. Thisarrangement allows him to claim business travel expenses for his holiday. LarryMulholland used to do much the same thing at Shell. Anyway, one of these promises hasbeen called in, and, as a result, young Amaelle has arrived, to some consternation as towhere she is to actually work….together with further unanswered questions, such as whois going to supervise her, and is there a project for her to work on? The task isn’t going tofall to Karl, who is obviously struggling to employ himself and two others. Dan hasmanaged to conceal his own struggles for the moment. He, too, is providing projects forhimself and two others, and reckons that Charles won’t ask him to take on a further

‘assistant’. He has become too bolshie, likely to fill Amaelle’s head with the truth aboutCharles. This proves correct. Much to Karen’s indignation, Charles has little option otherthan give her the task of supervising Amaelle, despite the fact that Karen has justignominiously dumped Suzi Rose before the poor girl’s Sandwich placement had ended. But Karen had a plan. The plan relied upon the assumption that Dan would be polite infront of the new girl, and would gradually end up supervising her.‘Oh, Dan!’ Karensimpered. ‘Would it be alright if Amaelle worked in this lab, rather than next door..?’ Thiswas accompanied by a beaming smile from Amaelle…..‘Well, no, Karen, I don’t think thatwill be possible. We’re going to lose the fumehood at the end when the autoclave getsmoved in here next week….and we’ve already got one more person in here than you havenext door. You are never in that lab, because you’re writing up. Karl isn’t doing muchpractical work, either….so, what’s the problem with next door?’‘Oh…..that’s just it…..theremay not be enough people around for Amaelle to work safely.’‘So….are you saying thatyou won’t be around to supervise her?’‘Oh….it’s not that. I’m just thinking of hersafety.’‘Well, both you and Charles should have thought about it previously. What do youwant us to do in here…..share fume-hoods which are already cramped and not fit forpurpose? How safe do you think that will be?’She wasn’t best pleased. Meanwhile, Richardwas removing THF on one of the two rotary evaporators which, disgracefully, hadremained out in the open lab…..simply so that Richard, who need never have been there,could have a place to work. At that point, Kim came in, and began complaining about thesmell.‘What’s that smell? You can’t remove that solvent in the lab! You’ll have to move thatrotary evaporator into a fume hood!’ I’d taken about enough of this, now. First of all Karen,trying to squeeze yet another person in, this would result in two people sharing four feetof ventilated space, an accident waiting to happen. And now Kim, demanding that therotary evaporator be moved into a fumehood, which would have the same result. Jesus HChrist!! I’d WANTED both rotary evaporators in a fumehood, it was where they fucking-wellSHOULD be!!! My views on the subject were well enough known, right back to getting theErgonomist in. But, Charles, in his infinite lack of wisdom, had decreed that we’d beblessed with the presence of Richard, the Sandwich student for an entire year. So, nowthis apparatus is back out on the open bench.It’s no good. I can’t bottle it up anylonger….‘Crikey, that’s a BRILLIANT idea, Kim!! I wish I’d thought of that one! Move therotavaps into a fumehood! Solve all our problems, that would!! All apart from one…..whereare we all going to work?’Her face went scarlet, and she stomped out. Karen hasn’t givenup yet, though….‘Could you demonstrate chromatography to Amaelle? She’s never carriedout that technique before.’‘So, what you’re telling me is that you don’t know how to dochromatography, Karen?’She squirmed uncomfortably. This was all going wrong. Dan wassupposed to be falling for girly charms and eating out of their hands.‘So, what’s to stopyou showing her, then…..Karen?’ Dan delivered the coup de grace.It was all over. Karenwould be supervising Amaelle, in the other lab. The arrival of the high pressure autoclaveallowed Dan to use some new Chemistry. He set Ken some work which involveddehydration of Angeline…..it could be dehydrated to give a cis-diene, useful for Diels-Alder

cycloadditions, and the products were good analogues of the cassis molecule. Ken wasmaking a reasonable stab at it, the molecules had the desired odour, and Karl wasbecoming more and more annoyed, as he remained keen to get into the cassis project.Also, once you break an area like this, there are quite a few possibilities….Dan filled pagesof these on the Ideas Database. He was up and running again, cooking on gas, enemies indisarray. The ups and downs of life as a research chemist….While he was up, let’s dish outa little lesson to a deserving third party……* Charles had been giving a basic OrganicChemistry course to the chemistry laymen of the Research Department. These weremainly the women who carried out glc analysis of competitor fragrances, week in, weekout, checking to see which fragrance ingredients were used, and thereby allowing a guessat competitor profit margins. None of the women have done any Chemistry since school,most of them have never taken it as an examination subject. Charles has decided to teachthem the incredibly tedious IUPAC Nomenclature Rules. He does love his rules. Anyway,back he comes from his course, full of disdain for non-chemists, full of these fucking rules,and full of himself. He is, apparently, disappointed in the performance of the ‘students’ onhis course. Calling his Group together, he proceeds to test everyone on the chemicalnomenclature problems he’d set.Nobody wants to do this….absolutely nobody. Thecomments and body language tell their own story. But, Charles just presses aheadregardless, secure in the knowledge that he knows the answers. Amaelle, eyes shining, isthe only one spared the interrogation, and obviously thinks that Charles is wonderful, aninfinite source of chemical knowledge.Enough…..Time for Dan to speak up.‘This is fun, isn’tit, Charles? But, I think we should all join in! Here’s one for you ….’He wrote the name upon the whiteboard…… 5-(3-isoxazolinyl)cinnoline.‘Now, all you have to do is draw thecorrect structure beneath it…..just like you’ve been having us do. Here’s the pen….’Sellingelooked at Dan with a blank expression.‘Come on, Charles! It’s easy!’ exhorted Dan. ‘This ismuch simpler than the examples you’ve been setting us. Now, where are you going tostart?’‘Um….ah…..cinnoline is the parent system. Ah…..I’m not familiar with the structure ofcinnoline.’‘Not familiar with a basic heterocycle, Charles?? I am surprised. Never mind.How many nitrogens do you think it has?’‘I know….’ He put a structure up on theboard.‘No….that’s isoquinoline, Charles. Actually, it’s tetrahydroisoquinoline, you haven’tshown the unsaturation in the fused ring.’He rubbed it out, moved the nitrogen.‘That’squinoline.’He inserted another nitrogen.‘Quinoxaline!!’ Dan laughed. But, Charles wasn’tlooking so pleased with himself any longer.‘Come on….! Keep going, don’t give up!! Plentymore possibilities, then we can make a start to the other ring system…..and, where thepoints of attachment are for both rings….’Those eyes of Charles Stanley Sellinge flailedwildly around the room. No longer lupine, they were those of a rabbit in the headlights.Only a few minutes previously, he’d been king of the castle, lording it over his minions.Now, in the spotlight, obviously struggling, he didn’t look quite so clever. Seven pairs ofeyes looked back at him coldly, together with one other pair, the bemused eyes ofAmaelle.‘This is pointless!’ he suddenly snapped. ‘I don’t know! We would never comeacross structures like these.’‘There’s a big world of Chemistry out there, Charles. Actually, I

used to make structures like these all the time. But, I agree with you…..this entire exerciseis pointless.’Sellinge picked up his papers and stormed out. Kim, obviously impressed,grinned at Dan, her piggy eyes gleaming. Karl glowered silently at her approval of Dan’sactions. Dan ignored his displeasure. Don’t worry mate – I’m not interested.‘You like livingdangerously, don’t you?’ Kim asked. ‘Charles won’t forget that, you know!’‘Good….I hope hedoesn’t. All I’m doing is holding up a mirror to his smug, arrogant face. I wouldn’t beaverse to smacking his wrist, though. High time that someone did it…..’ It didn’t take longbefore I was made to pay. The Angeline-derived work was bearing a great deal of fruit. Ifan unsaturated acid was used in the Diels-Alder reaction, you could force it to do aninternal lactonisation after the cycloaddition, giving a tetracyclic structure. I was nowalmost ready to get the cassis work written up into a form where it could be sent to thePatents Agent. During a visit of Charles to the lab, I mention the fact that I’ll have to dothis, just so he realises that the new molecules aren’t exactly going to flow this week.He istaken aback.‘How much progress have you made on cassis, then?’‘Quite a lot.’ I drew thedetails up on the white-board, explaining where this could go next. I hadn’t even orderedthe chemicals for this new work yet. I expected it to keep Ken productively busy for amonth, maybe six weeks. Bliss….But, before I knew it, Charles was calling through to theother lab. Then, he turned to me.‘Let’s show these to Karl. The more people that areworking on this, the quicker we’ll get an answer.’‘But….there’s only one autoclave…..andthis is our work….’There are no words which can effectively convey just how much I hatethe fucking place and its fuckwitted staff at that particular instant. It is a cold and quiteawesome hatred, of a type which is new to me.But I am not……fucking NOT…..going toallow them to beat me. The telephone rang in the lab at about 5.40pm. It was Tim! He’d gothimself a job, testing computer software over in Cambridge. He was living in digs, and hadbumped into Julia, who’d been a Shell student maybe eight years ago. Julia was working atParke-Davis, on a two year contract. She’d had nothing but contract work during all thistime. She knew all the stories about Dave Huntsman inadvertently exposing the greatCambridge amphetamine scandal, then getting the sack, even though he wasn’t involved. Tim was also on contract, initially for three months. It was the way things were going inthe employment market, and it was useless. How could you obtain a mortgage, or makeany commitments? But, maybe, this dreadful state of affairs wouldn’t persist for muchlonger. A General Election had, at last, been called for May 1st 1997, the campaign hadalready begun, allowing John Major to sidestep the outcome of the enquiry into the mostrecent Tory sleaze, mainly the ‘Cash for Questions’ controversy. It’s nearly Easter 1997, andDan is going to go back up to Scotland with the boys again….. a year has passed since helast did this, returning to find one of his main projects in Karl’s hands, and it tempers hisenthusiasm for the forthcoming family break. Karl was always a devious bastard, and he’saware that Charles is unlikely to offer Dan any support whatsoever. And, why is this…?Charles exists for one reason only – to keep himself in the well-paid sinecure of GroupLeader, a figurehead whose job it is to convince others that the Novels Group is doing afantastic job. Since the suits who dispense the research money are even less technically

qualified than the mass spectrometry girls for whom Charles has such disdain, this taskisn’t too difficult. Charles is lazy. He wants his Group Leader salary, but he doesn’t want toearn it. He has no intention of tackling the safety and overcrowding issues which Dan hasbrought to his attention. What Charles wants, more than anything else, is a return to thestatus quo, where all he has to do all day is wear an unearned halo, dumping all histedious, unwanted duties onto members of his Group. Since Brian Hall left, this has beenso much easier…. Ton doesn’t ask questions, and Charles can use the dumping techniqueto deal with members of his Group who might be exhibiting particularly awkwardtendencies, swamping them with time-consuming trivia, distracting them from thefundamental demands of designing and making new molecules, until they come to theirsenses and realise that resistance is futile. It hasn’t worked. Dan is refusing to play thegame, always telling Charles to carry out such tasks himself.Because of his anger at theshoddy manner in which the laboratories are run, and the shabby way Tim was treated,Dan has become outspoken and unpredictable. Charles has belatedly recognised that heis much more of a threat than Tim would ever have been, and has been at a loss as to howto bring Dan back into line. Brian Hall made no secret of the fact that he used the Bartonmeetings as instruments of terror, but Charles has mistakenly assumed that he can utilisethese arenas to the same ends. He can’t. The dynamic has changed, in Dan’s favour.Everyone else has far more to fear from these circuses of potential public humiliation.Barton has even said, openly, that there is a job waiting for Dan at the University of Texasshould he so wish, although it won’t match his Quantum salary. But, Charles thinks he hasnow found the key to bringing Dan back under his control – make it obvious that he’s outon a limb, his work won’t be supported. How much of that can he stand? And, in themeantime, Sellinge hasn’t given up on the tried and tested tactics which serve him so wellwith the others….. It was a Monday morning, and I’d been at work since 7.25am. My heartsank when Sellinge comes through the lab on his arrival at the relatively leisurely hour of9.40am.‘Ah…..Dan….can I have a word?’‘Go ahead.’‘There is a British Society of Perfumersmeeting on April 10th . Kim went last year, but she can’t attend this one, because of childcare for Kieran. Would you be interested in going?’‘No. I’m going up to Scotland atEaster.’‘This would be the week after Easter.’‘Yeah……that’s the week I’m going.’The sameold fishy stare. Keep it up mate, it phases me not in the least. I’ve got stuff to do, tworeactions already running which require monitoring, so I’m going to keep doing that. I’mbusy, I’ve got no more to say on the subject, so you can either respond, or fuck off. Herewe go….he has eventually thought of something…trying to make me feel guilty, in a ‘lettingthe Group down’ sort of way….‘Well, Karen and Karl can’t make it, because they’re going toa conference in Warwick the following week…..’(That’ll be nice for them. So, the ball’s backin my court, is it? Well, here’s a drop shot…)‘Why don’t you ask Jamie? As a last resort, youcould always go yourself….’ That seemed to do the trick. He couldn’t get out of the labquickly enough, obviously furious. They really make me laugh. At Core Values, everyonewas asked what was most important to them, and I’d answered ‘My family.’ This is all fineand well on the course, but seems to be a different matter when you put it to the test.

They don’t really want that to be your priority, do they? What do they know about familylife, any of them….Charles, Ton, Chris, Karl…..? They’re all more interested in their pathetic‘careers’ and want everything to be sacrificed to Quantum, the great god of shittiness. Asever, I’d been looking forward to the forthcoming trip north, a little break in routine formyself and the boys. For me, it represented the only little oasis of potential partialfulfilment in a vast, barren desert of hopelessness and exhaustion. Sellinge would havehappily denied me this refuelling, a recharging of the batteries, consigning me to a fate oflistening to utterly hollow perfumery vessels for an entire week, then he’d demand aformal written report on the proceedings, losing me the best part of a furtherweek…..increasing my frustration to breaking point. It was lovely and quiet after I got backfrom Scotland, the three stooges, Charles, Karl and Karen were all away at Warwick, and Icould get on with some exploratory work. But, here’s some news…Kim tells me that Karlhas been struggling to find anything sensible to do after Karen declined his further‘assistance’ with Rossol analogues.‘He hasn’t given up on your QRM 2885 you know!’ sheinforms me. ‘Last week, while you weren’t here, he was writing up the work wedid.’‘What….the stuff you stole from me last Easter? Where you got the structureswrong…?’‘Yes, that’s true!’ she grinned. She really is without shame. ‘It’s giving him a bit ofa headache in his attempts to write it up. He wants to report our work as leading to QRM2885……trying to get his name associated with someone else’s Development Material, justlike he’s attempting with Karen…..whereas, in reality, what we did with your acylation wasall a bit of a mess.’‘Yeah…..you jumped in a bit quickly, didn’t you? Besides, QRM 2885 isdoubly-unsaturated, patent-free, and uses entirely different chemistry…..so, how is hegoing to tie it all together in a nice, big bow, with his name on it?’‘That’s just it – he can’t! Hemade a really sustained attempt last week, while you were up in Scotland. But it justdoesn’t wash…..even he can see that. However, if I were you, I’d get the proper story told,as soon as possible.’‘Thanks for the tip. Why are you telling me this, by the way?’‘Oh…..Iknow that Karl is a bastard. I can see what he’s up to. I also know from personalexperience. Sometimes, I just get so sick of his behaviour…..’‘You’re not the only one.What’s he done to you, though?’She became very conspiratorial.‘He makes promises hecan’t keep. Promises he has no intention of keeping….’‘Such as…?’‘Oh….promises like he’sgoing to leave his wife…’‘Jesus, Kim! Even though I more than half-suspected there wassomething going on, there’s part of me that’s still a little bit shocked. But, you likebastards, don’t you? So…you can’t be all that surprised, surely…..? Anyway, thanks againfor tipping me off…. I hope you and Karl get what you want.’‘No, you don’t!’‘You don’t knowhow much I dislike Lucy.’ So, that was that. Instead of doing chemistry, I’d better set towriting up QRM 2885, before Karl submits a report which will attempt to rewrite history.But, there was something I wanted to try…..now that we have an autoclave, I couldattempt a radical-initiated reaction of isobutyraldehyde to cyclododecatriene…….thiswould give QRM 2885 from really cheap starting materials in a single step! What anachievement that would be! And, since Chris keeps making negative noises about theprobable expense of QRM 2885, there could be no further moans and groans from the

Process Development Group, their job would be done for them….again. I note that thereare no such concerns about Rossol, which was made by an expensive conjugate Grignardreaction. Not a problem…..they’re currently moving heaven and earth to find alternativeroutes. It’s funny what you can do if you actually want to. Free of the usual distractions,Dan spent a productive week. Nonetheless, writing up the QRM 2885 project was a not-inconsiderable task. It was over a year since he’d visualised it as a piece of science whichwould answer all sorts of questions on the size of ring and side chain bulk required formusk activity in cyclic ketones, and he wanted it reported as such – not a rapid responseto Karl’s shoddy, ill-executed plagiarism. When the others returned from their conference,he paid particular attention to the body language, all bonding and buddy-buddy betweenthe three core participants. Thick as thieves, all dependent on one another. Charles shouldhave been the one organising that conference, but, too lazy as usual, the task fell to Karl,and, if he wished to retain favour, he couldn’t refuse. Karen, meanwhile, had to give a talkat the conference, on Rossol, touted as a big success story for the technique of MolecularModelling and QSAR, which is actually Charles’ baby. Charles had to write the talk, andspoon-feed her through it, with hours of endless practice. Karen didn’t want to do it, but,again, she could hardly refuse, and she knows it won’t do her career any harm. All Charleshas to do is show up and bask in the reflected glory of this artificially-engineered ‘success’,without doing anything other than fielding any awkward questions which come Karen’sway, questions which she’d be unable to answer from the floor. He obviously hasn’twasted the remainder of his time though, in his usual, underhand manner.‘I spoke toeveryone I could about Luca Milan,’ he gloats, ‘Making sure that I covered all mycounterparts, anyone in any position of influence within the Fragrance Industry. I don’tthink he’ll be working anywhere within that Industry, ever again.’Charles Sellinge in anutshell – working tirelessly behind the scenes to ruin the career of anyone who’d had thetemerity to disagree with him. It was his full time job.Karen is particularly full of herselfthis morning, since the pressure of her presentation is over, and it went well enough. Oneof the conference delegates, from Russia, had apparently taken something of a shine toher, and was up in her room every night, trying to get her knickers down. She pretends tobe shocked and outraged by this, but everyone can see that she enjoyed the attention,she’s still preening. Not for the first time, Dan reckons that her husband Steve might dowell to keep a close eye on her.Dan will never be part of the cosy cliques which areforming. He knows that he remains far, far out on a limb through his refusal to play theconformity game of polishing Charles’ halo while doing his bidding, and he knows thatCharles will do anything to keep that dysfunctional Group running….anything that doesn’tinvolve too much effort for Charles himself. Dan was pretty sure that his own role andbehaviour would have been well discussed at the conference. But, Dan’s requirements arefew. All he wants is to be able to pursue his own projects in a sensibly-manned, safelaboratory environment. Surely, that’s not too much to ask…? Instead, he has been forcedinto a corner in the defence of these reasonable aims.So, what have they been cooking upbetween them? Charles wants a meeting straight away, to talk about Project briefs. Here

we go…..Dan and Ken found a good cassis by accident, and Karl seems upset that they’reactually being allowed to continue work on it, when it’s not covered by any of the specificPerfumery requirements assigned to the Group for this year. Cue Karl (in a whingeingvoice)…..‘It’s because we don’t have proper Project briefs that I can’t get on with any of myideas.’Oh yeah? I’ve had enough of this, already. I give all of them enough time to dig anice big hole for themselves, then ask a question.‘Can you tell me, please, Charles……whathas been the most significant and successful introduction that Quantum have made in thepast five years or so?’He knows what’s coming now, but there’s nothing he can do about it.There’s only one answer he can give.‘Karenol….,’ he replies.‘And….was that covered by acomprehensive Project brief?’‘No…,’ he’s forced to admit, defeated.‘No, it wasn’t, was it?’Dan rubs it in. ‘It’s in the amber odour area, which Quantum weren’t even interested in atthe time, because they couldn’t see a way of entering it. But, you happened to have awhole lot of diols from Hoechst…..and, you proceeded to make acetals from these, hopingfor fruity materials. One of them was unexpectedly amber…..and Karen threw it awaybecause it “didn’t smell right”. Fortunately, the situation was retrieved, and Quantum arenow making some money from it. Serendipity…..getting on with things, and beingprepared for the unexpected. We’d be silly to ignore opportunities when they arise…..especially since cassis is such an expensive odour area, and customers like Body Shoplove it.’ But the day continued to be wasted. Charles wanted to try out a new method ofwriting the Quarterly Report, in which he was supposed to come round and talk toeveryone, combine this into an overview, rather than everyone writing an individualreport. Dan rather suspects that the driving force for this originates from Karl and Karen,whose slender contributions for the previous few quarters had been comprehensivelyeclipsed by Dan’s work. Anyway, Dan is first for interrogation, through in Charles’ office, ittakes the entire afternoon. When Dan comes back out, Karl is standing beside theautoclave, where Dan’s reaction is running at 120 degrees Celsius, and 5 barpressure.‘What’s this you’re up to?’ asks Karl. ‘It looks dangerous.’‘It’s a radicaladdition…..safe enough.’‘What are you adding?’‘I’m adding isobutyraldehyde tocyclododecatriene……mate! That’s a pretty good idea, don’t you think?’‘Why are you doingthat?’‘Well….I’ve just got this sixth sense that maybe Chris isn’t going to bust a gut on QRM2885. So, I’m thinking of novel ways to avoid him making excuses like too expensive, etcetc… You know, his usual statements for anything which doesn’t originate from Karen…Remember how I had to come up with an entirely new reaction of alkenes with propyleneoxide, to save all those earlier Development molecules that he said were too expensive?You should do…. once it had been spelled out to you, you were into the area like a shot.And, the same with QRM 2885 ….that’s a good material, Karl. But I guess that hasn’tescaped your attention, either….’ Karl suddenly didn’t want to talk any longer. He stayedlate that night, much later than usual – so, Dan stayed even later, he didn’t want to leavethat autoclave unattended. He knew that he’d also have to return early next morning….so,when Karl appeared at 7.55am, Dan had already been in the lab for an hour. At this point,Karl seemed to make up his mind about something. He scribbled on a piece of paper.

Placing this on top of a folder, he took these documents through to Charles’ office, wherehe left them on the desk. Obviously, he’s not going to spend hours talking to Charles then,like Dan was forced to do the previous day.As soon as Charles arrived, he came into thelab, invited Dan back to his office.‘Are you aware that there are areas of overlap betweenwhat you’re doing and what Karl is doing?’ he demands.‘Not this again!’ groans Dan. ‘No,I’m not aware of this…..so, what are they?’Dan is shown the radical reaction,cyclododecatriene and isobutyraldehyde, on Karl’s scribbled piece of paper. Karl has evenmanaged to get the structure of the product wrong.‘I’m getting pretty sick and tired ofthis!’ Dan exclaims. ‘This is my work. It has been right from when it started, with theacylated cyclododecenes, over a year ago. The reaction product is QRM 2885, which I gotRichard to make months ago. You’ve signed a Development Request on it, Charles.Remember it now?’‘Well, perhaps we’d better see Karl about it.’‘That’s fine by me…’So, theyreturn to the lab. By this time, Jamie has arrived, and Dan is pleased to see him talking toKarl. Jamie’s presence will make it much more difficult for Karl to lie in his teeth. Dan,furious by this stage, is the one who starts asking the questions.‘So…..tell me, Karl! Haveyou ever done the addition of isobutyraldehyde to cyclododecatriene? And, before youstart bullshitting……let’s not forget that it requires an autoclave, which Ken and I havebeen using non-stop for cassis during the past month or so.’Karl looks incredibly startledat the level of Dan’s anger.‘No…’ he admits. Dan then turns to Jamie….‘Karl is your boss,Jamie, he sets your work, and puts it in context of his own work programmes. Did Karlever mention his intention of carrying out such a reaction?’‘No….first time I’ve ever seenit…..or anything like it.’So, that’s everything corroborated, then. But, Karl can’t bear tolose.‘I was just going to try that, but Dan jumped in,’ he bleats.‘Karl…can you explainsomething to me?’ asks Dan. ‘Is what you’ve given to Charles meant to be your report forthe First Quarter… which ends in March? Why, in that case, does it contain imaginaryexamples of reactions you were “just about to do”, when it’s nearly May?’There is noanswer to that one, and Dan looks at Dr Martin and Dr Sellinge with an expression of totaldisgust. Nice try, lads….but, you’re still not up to it, are you? You just can’t beat me in a fairfight.Dan turns on his heel, knowing that this isn’t over. All that will happen is that thetactics used by the opposition will become increasingly dirty and underhand. And, in thisenvironment, he’s supposed to forge a career, have a life, and feel grateful for what he’sgot. Dan spent the entire week finishing the report on QRM 2885, and all the related workthat had been done by Richard. There was no way to hide this activity from Karl, who isforever walking past Dan’s computer screen.‘What’s this you’re writing, then?’ he says, stilllooking at the screen which Dan has minimised.‘Oh….I’ve got a few reports that needwriting up. Macrocyclic lactones, acylated cycloalkanes, Prins reaction…..radical addition tocyclododecatriene….that sort of thing.’‘Do you want to include the stuff we did?’ he asks, alittle too eagerly. ‘I could give you what we’ve done so far on a floppy disc.’‘Now, let mesee……that would be the work you fucked up. The work which you’ve obviously started towrite up, but you don’t know how to report it, how to bring it to a conclusion, other thanthe obvious one, the true one….that you fucked up. When, what you’d really like is the

implication that your crock of shit led to Development Material QRM 2885. And, nowyou’re offering me a floppy disc. That’s not like you, Karl. Oh, wait a minute….in that case,you’d not only be a contributor, you’d be a co-author! So….I’ll tell you what – I’m afraid I’mgoing to turn down your kind offer. I’ll write up what I did, you write up what you did.Sound fair?’He knew he was rumbled, and stormed off, back to his seat. Of course, severaldays later, Dan is still sitting at the computer terminal, thumping out reports, and this isobviously getting on Karl’s nerves. Thursday morning, 9.30am, he comes strutting intoDan’s lab, having apparently changed tack regarding which work he believes can be prisedfrom Dan.‘That patchouli lead of yours….have you done anything about a bigger batch asyet?’‘Yes, as a matter of fact I have. Richard has only one more step to complete. It’ll beready tomorrow.’This, apparently, is not the answer Karl was expecting.‘All re-synthesis ona large scale is supposed to come to Jamie. You know that.’Yes, it’s a nice little trick for youto get a foothold into all my promising areas. But, I don’t have to invoke that, or even losemy temper.‘I think, if you look on the list of QRM Action Items, that scale-up is allocated toDM/RB. Personally, I read that as Dan Murdoch/Richard Bodwin…..don’t you? If there’sbeen a mistake, well, you’d better take it up with Kim, since she’s the one who organisesthese meetings and writes the minutes, after that nice promotion you arranged for her. Inthe meantime, we’ve done what we were officially asked to do. Goodbye….’ Karl stoodthere, stunned, for a few seconds, beside himself with rage, utterly powerless to doanything about it, or even express himself. It had been a nice slap in the face for him, infront of both Richard and Ken. Later, when Jamie came in at 10am, Dan found out whyKarl had been so keen to get his mitts on the patchouli lead – he had nothing whatsoeverfor Jamie to work on.There were a couple of lads in for interview that morning. Jamie didn’tknow that they were being interviewed for a job as a trainee technician for Karen.‘It’s all awaste of time for those two,’ Dan informed Jamie. ‘I overheard Amaelle say yesterday thatCharles had her in the office, asking her to make a target in three different ways. I wouldguess that to be trial by oakmoss, which, as we know, is Charles’ stock interview question. Iwould also guess it to be a foregone conclusion that Amaelle will be given thejob.’‘What!!’Jamie exclaimed. ‘She’s not up to it! I mean, really not up to it…’‘I know that, youknow that. But Charles will guide and help her through the nasty questions. She’ll get thejob, Jamie. Karen may have passed her gradRIC exams, but it’s all learning by rote, shehasn’t a clue. If she’s going to have someone working for her, that person has to be naïve,and capable of working only at a snail’s pace. And, Charles needs yet anotherunthreatening Group member, while he attempts to redress the balance of this fucked-upGroup and all its lies. I can’t stand Karl, but the way the Karen story is being amplified outof all proportion to the truth is starting to get right on my tits. At that conference inWarwick, Rossol was apparently being touted as saving the world, and a huge success formolecular modelling. Karen’s all excited about it. In fact, every day must be exciting forher, because she doesn’t really understand anything.’‘I know exactly what you mean,’agreed Jamie. ‘And she and Charles are just wasting the time of these two hopefuls. I’d bequite willing to eat the contents of my cat litter, if it’s not Amaelle who gets the job.’ True to

form, the bizarre story later emerges that Charles wasn’t too keen on either of the malecandidates. Both of them had registered angling as a hobby.‘Why does that upsetCharles?’ asks Jamie. ‘Killing God’s creatures…?’‘No, nothing like that. He says that they’reprobably loners, and could turn out like Tim.’‘I’ve never heard such crap.’‘Neither haveI.’Charles was indeed a dangerous person. A narrow-minded, egotistical, bigoted, biased,arrogant liar. Someone with a bit of power, someone who sees it as his right that heshould get his own way. A very dangerous person indeed. But, the person to express this,even if only in private, was Karl…… which was rather unexpected. It was next day, Friday,when it all kicked off. There was to be a ‘Recognition Lunch’ over at the clubhouse, the bigday of the ‘Oscar Awards’ for outstanding effort. Dan had no intention of attending, hewas still busy report writing.So, all the sheep disappeared in a big flock, leaving only Danand Suzi Rose in the building. Poor Suzi – ignominiously dumped into Process Researchafter she’d finished the practical work for Karen’s thesis, she was now completing herSandwich year across the corridor in PRD, and appeared to be hating every minute of it. Infact, she’d never seemed all that happy even when in the Novels Group, and that attitudehad probably gone against her. Now, she’ll be aware that a permanent job has beenoffered to Amaelle, whose main attribute seems to be a naïve inability to recognise thatthis place is a shithouse.Eventually, a few people began to straggle back. Karl was first.He’d left early, so that he could, as usual, attend the gym at lunchtime.‘You have to watchCharles,’ he says to Dan. ‘He’s a very dangerous man.’‘I know that well enough,’ Danreplies. Then something crosses his mind. ‘He hasn’t been saying anything about me notattending that stupid awards ceremony, has he? The bastard!’‘No, he hasn’t,’ Karl protests.‘It’s not that.’ Later, Dan is afforded an insight into Karl’s displeasure. Charles got an awardfor his Chemistry Course. In his acceptance, he didn’t even mention Jamie, who carried outall of the practical demonstrations for him. Karen got three awards…. Meanwhile, Karl, towhom it had fallen to organise the Flavour and Fragrance Conference in Warwick…. well,his efforts were ignored. That’s why he’s so angry, and he’s using the lack of recognition forJamie as an excuse. Late afternoon, through in the other lab, Dan can see Charles lookingvery unhappy as he is tackled by Karl. It’s the first time Dan has ever seen Karl take suchaction, so he must be livid. Probably, Karl can now see that no matter how much he triesto reinforce and consolidate his dubious practices by currying favour with Charles, he willstill run second in the race. The winner will always be Karen…..dim, untrustworthy, shit-stirring, trouble-making, loud-mouthed Karen, whose personal qualities are awful, andwhose Chemistry is abysmal. Yes, it’s an unfair life, mate…… The instances of Karen’sconstant back-stabbing and undermining of colleagues, especially around this time, are,really, too numerous to mention. Yet, she was actually easy to deal with…..once you’dmanaged to unravel the web of intrigue she’d spun, you’d challenge her, she was always ata loss for an answer, and the resulting denouement was no more difficult than swattingan annoying fly. Often, Dan would dispense this justice with a wink to other lab members.But, she was at it constantly, incessantly…. she simply couldn’t help herself. Any time shewas afforded half an opportunity to do the dirty on others, she’d take it. She’d learned

from the master, after all, her mentor Charles. Since coming back from this conference,most of her time would be taken up in tale-telling somewhere, she’d disappear for hourson end, stirring the shit. Karen is the embodiment of Quantum, it is a backwoods, inbred,incestuous environment, full of prejudiced, poisonous, closed little minds filled withirrational hatred against those whom they cannot hope to emulate……..a religious meetinggone mad.

Aromancer, “Absorbing!. At over 2000 pages this e- book is certainly value for money andthe subtitle should read "War and War" since there is no Peace. Anyone who may haveworked at the fictional Quorum in Ashridge would find it illuminating indeed.The reader ofthis "assisted" journey into severe depression will run a gauntlet of emotions from angerthrough frustration to sheer disbelief and genuine sorrow at the results of diabolicalmachinations by people determined to bring the writer down by any means.There arebrief moments of laugh out loud episodes which reflect an acerbic wit. Set alongside abackground of major calamities engineered by so-called captains of the chemical industrywho were well rewarded for their abject failures it is a sorry tale. (although the last personof ECI did not get his knighthood which was normally a default action for this Company byRoyalty.)You do not have to understand the chemistry to realise that the author of thiswork, Dan Murdoch, was a brilliant chemist and his path to insights reminds me verymuch of "Mauve" (the story of the dyestuffs genius William Perkin) and "The signature inthe cell" where proof is seemingly given of God's work within the chemistry of DNA.Dandoes indeed play the long game and as a catharsis I hope he has now found Peace.”

B A Ward, “A page turner. This is the longest book I have ever read but at no time did I everget bored with it. It is a roller coaster of emotion. You will be rendered speechless as thestory unfolds. Dan, the main character gives you everything from laughs to anger to thefeeling of absolute despair as his story is told. If you ever worked for this fictitiouscompany Quantum then you definitely have to read it. If you didn't work for Quantum youshould still read it. I loved it and would whole heartedly recommend it.”

The book by Avtar Singh Bimbraw has a rating of 5 out of 4.7. 6 people have providedfeedback.

Chapter One Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38

Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Chapter 51 Chapter 52 Chapter 53Chapter 54 Chapter 55 Chapter 56 Chapter 57 Chapter 58 Chapter 59 Chapter 60 Chapter61 Chapter 62 Chapter 63 Chapter 64 Chapter 65 Chapter 66 Chapter 67 Chapter 68Chapter 69 Chapter 70 Chapter 71 Chapter 72 Chapter 73 Chapter 74 Chapter 75 Chapter76 Chapter 77 Chapter 78 Chapter 79 Chapter 80 Chapter 81 Chapter 82 Chapter 83Chapter 84 Chapter 85 Chapter 86 Chapter 87 Chapter 88 Chapter 89 Chapter 90

Language: EnglishFile size: 2982 KBSimultaneous device usage: Up to 4 simultaneous devices, per publisher limitsText-to-Speech: EnabledScreen Reader: SupportedEnhanced typesetting: EnabledX-Ray: Not EnabledWord Wise: EnabledPrint length: 2215 pagesLending: Enabled