Bali Expat - Issue 20 – Gluttony

BALI EXPAT ◆ 27th March – 9th April 2013 1

Indonesia's Largest Expatriate Readership | 20th Edition | 27th March – 9th April 2013 FREE COPY Rp.

A MONKEY'S LIFE BY NEIL L.

27th March – 9th April 2013 ◆ BALI EXPAT 2

20th Edition | 27th March – 9th April 2013

Editor in Chief

Angela Richardson

[email protected]

Management

Edo Frese

[email protected]

Editorial Assistant

Silvia Forsman

[email protected]

Sales

Dian Mardianingsih

[email protected]

Silvia [email protected]

Distribution

Dian [email protected]

Graphics

Frederick [email protected]

Finance & Admin

Pertiwi Gianto [email protected] [email protected] Contributors

Salvador BaliBruce W. CarpenterKaren DavisKen DinsmoreLeif HopeSeamus McElroyEamonn SadlerAntony Sutton

Editorial Enquiries

[email protected]

Circulation Enquiries

[email protected]

Subscription

[email protected]

Events

[email protected]

Bali Expat is published bi-weekly by PT. Koleksi Klasik. Opinions expressed in this publication are those of the writers and the publisher does not accept any responsibility for any errors, ommisions, or complaints arising there from. No parts of this publication can be reproduced in whole or in part, in print or electronically without permission of the publisher. All trademarks, logos, brands and designs are copyright and fully reserved by PT. Koleksi Klasik Indonesia.

Published byPT. KOLEKSI KLASIK INDONESIAJl. Kemang Raya No. 29AKemang, Jakarta–IndonesiaTel: 021 7179 4550Fax: 021 7179 4546Office hours: 09.00–17.00 Monday–Friday

*12,500 copies bi-weekly *30,000+ English-speaking readers

*More than 700 distribution points!

t: (021) 7179 4550e: [email protected]

Bali Expat

in this 20th issue:

Email: [email protected] In the Subject field include: Subscribe to Bali Expat and Jakarta Expat. Include your full name, address and contact phone number

Subscribe to BALI EXPAT and guarantee a copy delivered to your door every fortnight! For a limited time only sign up to BALI EXPAT and you will receive a subscription of JAKARTA EXPAT for FREE!

1 year subscription only Rp.500,0006 months subscription only Rp.260,000

dear readers

spotted pic

Scan the barcode to receive Bali and Jakarta Expat's free bi-weekly e-newsletter!

Bi-Weekly E-Newsletter

Send in your Spotted Pics to [email protected]!

Spotted by Wybe in Sanur

W elcome to issue 20 of Bali Expat! I would like to thank you for your loyal readership

and hope to continue to bring you interesting reads from Bali and across the archipelago for many more issues to come. Our very first Photography Competition has brought about some stunning entrants of how you see the world, and there is still time if you haven’t already submitted your work - please send your photos to Silvia ([email protected]) so you can shine on the cover of our ‘Earth Issue’ in April.

This issue’s theme is ‘Gluttony’ and I can, on many an occasion, confess that I have partaken in this deadly sin. It’s difficult not to on the island of Bali, where there are over 2,000 restaurants available, not to mention hundreds of bars with views of some of the best in the world. It is sometimes at the simplest of places, however, where I satisfy my glutton monster and this case I’m referring to Nasi Pedas Bu Andika (Ibu Andika’s spicy rice). If you love chilli and you haven’t tried this dish, you haven’t lived.

This small and simple eatery is extremely popular, and in the evenings it is always busy, regardless of what day of the week it is. The price of a plate of rice with several different meat/chicken/

fish/vegetable dishes, not forgetting the pièce de résistance—the sambal (chilli)— is only around Rp.12,000, which attracts the masses and their desire for a cheap feed. Although on the greasy side, it is extremely delicious with a spicy kick like no other. There are many options for vegetarians, including tempeh (fermented soy bean), tahu (tofu), terong (aubergine) and various other vegetable dishes, which I am extremely grateful for, and Ibu Andika’s is open 24 hours for those of you who understand what it feels like when your inner demon requires feeding at some ungodly hour.

Jakartans vacationing in Bali will make sure a trip to Ibu Andika’s is on their itinerary, as nothing comes close in the Big Durian. This is saying something about this simple food vendor established 30 years ago. Although generally catering for locals, tourists and expats are often found here, myself included, red-faced and frequently reaching for the bottle of water in an attempt to ease the pain. That’s the funny thing about eating chilli —the pain sensation causes the release of endorphins (the feel good hormone) in your brain, giving you a natural high, which could explain why eating chilli is so addictive.

As many Indonesians would agree, if it doesn’t make you sweat, it’s not worth eating!

Angela Richardson

Have You Tried the Missionary? .................................................................................................................... 3

True Gluttons ................................................................................................................................................................ 4

Who's Watching Anyway? .................................................................................................................................. 6

Patterns of Harmony in Digestive Health ............................................................................................. 8

S.N.A.F.U ........................................................................................................................................................................... 9

Food for Thought.................................................................................................................................................... 10

Natural Widlife Repositories: The Animal Parks of Bali ............................................................ 11

Adventures of Rexy ............................................................................................................................................... 12

And Now for Something Completely Unfunny…........................................................................... 13

Events ............................................................................................................................................................................... 14

Classifieds ..................................................................................................................................................................... 15

Spotted by Lee Rachel


by Antony Sutton

history

Antony SuttonAntony Sutton is a writer based in Jakarta. Please send comments and suggestions to [email protected]

Have You Tried the Missionary?

C annibalism has long been linked with the islands that now make up Indonesia.

The ancient Greek proto historian, Herodotus, identified a tribe who would eat their own family members rather than allow them to age.

"Another tribe of Indians, called the Padaei, who live to the East of these marsh Indians, are nomadic and eat raw meat. They are said to have the following customs. If any of their compatriots—a man or a woman—is ill, his closest male friends (assuming that it is a man who is ill) kill him, on the grounds that if he wasted away in illness his flesh would become spoiled. He denies that he is ill, but they take no notice, kill him, and have a feast. Exactly the same procedure is followed by a woman's closest female friends when it is a woman who is ill. They sacrifice and eat anyone who reaches old age, but it is unusual for anyone to do so, because they kill everyone who falls ill before reaching old age.”Early scholars like John Leyden and Stamford Raffles supposed the Padaei to in fact be the Batta or Batay (or Batak) based on their interpretation of Pali, “The letter p being almost always pronounced b,” said Leyden.

But they were not alone in supposing a cannibalistic mind set in the eastern islands. When the Portuguese arrived in the Melaka Straits in the early 16th century their resident note taker D’Alberquerque noticed how some of the ruling families in the numerous city states on either side of the strategic piece of water, used cannibals as executioners who were given criminals ‘roasted’

or ‘boiled’ to eat. The Portuguese noted that many of the cannibals came from a ‘country called Aru (in Sumatra) from where the King bought them to eat criminals.’

A hundred or so years later, Edmund Scott had been dropped off at Banten (today’s Banten Lama but back then the largest trading port in the region),and as if he didn’t have enough problems coping with his colleagues drinking, fighting and dying, he had the local headhunters giving him sleepless nights. “There were some Javan women that would cut off their husband’s heads during the night”, he said, adding, “They did linger much about our house,” and was convinced they would have become victims had they not kept their guard up.

You can almost sense the terror in his words as he penned his diary by candle light night after night, exhausted from the trading and infighting that took up the daylight hours. The ominous jungle hemming him in, and having no idea whether a returning ship would ever take him from “that stinking stew”, as one early entrepreneur described it, he would end his days there as so many others had.

The Bataks appear again as fearsome cannibals in the writings of Dr. Felix Maynard and Alexandre Dumas in their work, The Whalers. They describe how being eaten alive was a means of justice for people guilty of adultery, theft at night time or people who attack someone in their house.

In the cases of adultery, the offended party got to keep the ears of the offender while the Chief Judge got to keep the head for himself. Interestingly, the feast was only attended by men though the writers noted, “Women use a thousand subterfuges and employ all their seductions” to have a place at the table with the men folk. Apparently the soles of the feet cooked with rice and salt made for a most “delicious dish”.

They also suggested the Bataks used to eat their parents when they had outlived their usefulness. Apparently, when citrons ripened old men, they “were to be seen voluntarily submitting to death”. As he died, the remaining family members would whoop with joy singing:

When the fruit is ripeIt needs must fall.

The family would finish off their aged relative before cutting up the body, adding sambal and curry and enjoying the feast.

Of course how much truth there is in some of the more fanciful recollections is debatable. Missionaries used to be very active in the far flung regions of the archipelago and it suited their story to expound the dangers they faced, dealing with such savages. No doubt they found peoples’ wallets would open that much quicker when they were faced with unbridled savagery demanding to be saved by the charismatic, heroic man of the cloth.

Even today there are rumoured to be tribes living in the most remote areas of Papua who are not averse to the odd bit of human flesh. One such group is the Karowai. Thought to number about 4,000, and just as famous for living in intricate tree houses, the Karowai were only ‘discovered’ by the outside world in the late 1970s. With little in the way of natural defences against the diseases that can plague a tropical home, the

Karowai have come up with their own way of explaining illness or death. Anything they can’t explain is down to khakhua or witches.

The Smithsonian Magazine sent an intrepid reporter into the Papuan jungles to meet with the Karowai. It was explained to him that the khakhua would disguise themselves as a friend or relative of the person they wished to kill, then set about eating the insides of the victim as they slept, considerately replacing them with fire ash so as not to disturb the victim. Before the victim breathes his last they will tell his relatives the name of the khakhua, effectively signing his death warrant.

One of the Karowai described what happened in one case. A cousin of his was dying and told them who the khakhua was. They caught the ‘witch’ and fired arrows into his body before cutting his head off. They then cut the body up, carefully wrapping the flesh in banana leaves before handing them to other members of the community to eat.

It so happened that the ‘witch’ was a friend of theirs, but that didn’t matter, explaining it was a “system of justice.”

Of course the Korowai don’t consider themselves as man eaters. “We don’t eat humans,” one said, “we only eat khakhua.”

Bon appétit! ■

(LEFT) THE CITY OF MALACCA IN THE EAST INDIES BY CHARLES MIDDLETON CIRCA 1777-78 COURTESY OF BARTELE GALLERY

'The family would finish off their aged relative before cutting up the body, adding sambal and curry and enjoying the feast.'

(ABOVE) A YOUNG BATAK WOMAN IN TRADITIONAL CLOTHING CIRCA 1925. COURTESY OF TROPEN MUSEUM.


art of the indies

by Bruce W. Carpenter

True Gluttons

I n Bali the purist embodiment of Greed, one of the most ancient and reviled of the

Seven Sins, is found in the 15th century tale of the brothers Cupak and Grantang. Long popular in literature, drama and the visual arts, Cupak is a tale of greed, deception and betrayal that starkly illustrates cultural values and a belief in karmapala—the Hindu-Buddhist equivalent of “you reap what you sow”. It also mirrors a political social conflict between primogeniture, the right of the eldest male to assume authority, and selection by merit, the need to choose those most capable at a time when younger brothers displaced their inept older sibling in the struggles for succession that plague Balinese and Javanese history.

Fat, ugly, boastful, lazy and cowardly, the elder brother Cupak was as clever as he was devious when it came to manipulating his younger brother Grantang, who was the epitome of cultured nobility. Together they would set out to work in the fields, but in truth Cupak would sit in the shade and criticize as his brother toiled industriously in the hot sun. Conspicuously neat and clean, Grantang would bathe in the river and return home only to discover that Cupak had denounced him to his parents as a slothful shirk.

Rather than denounce his older brother’s lies, Grantang held his mouth even when punished. After one particularly severe incident triggered by Cupak’s deceit, the parents banished Grantang to the forest. Cupak tagged along, blaming his brother for their troubles as Grantang carried their heavy load and Cupak feasted on the food, growing fatter as he threw the bones to his undernourished brother.

When they arrived at the frontier of the mighty kingdom of Daha in East Java, they heard that the Raja had offered the hand of his beauteous daughter, Mustikan Ing Daha, to any man who could save her from the evil ogre Detya Manarong, who had kidnapped her and carried her away to his fortress in the jungle.

As they arrived at the court, Cupak loudly boasted, “Ogres are no more to me than flying ants that I crush between my fingers. I will hunt down, kill this monster and claim my reward”.

Grantang, who was an experienced tracker, set off immediately in pursuit. Upon the discovery of Detya’s enormous footprints deep in the jungle, a cold shiver struck Cupak who finally realized that danger was near. His angst grew

as he approached the walls of the giant’s formidable fortified palace. Fearful of wandering too far from his brother’s side, Cupak followed as Grantang shimmied up a tall tamarind tree that allowed them to peer into the garden below where the beautiful Mustikan wept uncontrollably as the misshapen ogre bragged about all the benefits she would gain by marrying him.

The courageous Grantang immediately leapt into their midst to save the princess from the clutches of the ugly monster. Using a powerful magic spell he stunned the ogre. Mustikan was so amazed by the handsome muscular youth that she believed she had been rescued by a god incarnate. While she swooned with love for her saviour she also had enough wits to inform Grantang that the giant was invulnerable to weapons except his mouth. Detya revived in a terrible rage and a battle that shook the three worlds ensued. Grantang finally defeated his enemy by firing a succession of arrows into his gaping maw causing him to fall down stone dead with a great thud. Overcome with gratitude she presented a golden ring, a royal gift from her father, to the lad, who put on his finger.

Frozen with fear still long after silence had returned, Cupak slowly opened his eyes and uncurled from his hiding place to see the beautiful princess staring at his victorious brother with adoration. Snapping out of his daze he shouted, “Stay away from here, I

am the oldest brother, she belongs to me”. Grantang retreated before his perfidious sibling.

As they travelled back to the capital, misfortune struck once again. Cupak, who was supposed to keep guard as the exhausted Grantang slumbered, failed at his task giving an opportunity to another ogre who lived at the bottom of a well, to kidnap the

princess. Once again Grantang swung into action descending into the well to defeat the fierce demon after a vicious struggle. As he handed the princess to his brother, he carried her to a safe spot, and returned to the well. Rather than help his own brother, he closed the top and abandoned him to die a soggy, smelly death surrounded by the rotting flesh of the ogre. Informing the grieving princess that Grantang had expired from his wounds and was no more, they marched back to the capital where Cupak proclaimed his heroic exploits and claimed the princess as his own.

Weak and wounded, the tenacious and resourceful Grantang slowly stripped the flesh off the bones of the giant and used them to build

'Now feeling completely secure as the heir to the throne, Cupak lived a penultimate life of decadence—feasting, drinking and whoring as he pleased.'

PAINTING BY GUSTI NYOMAN LEMPAD. CUPAK BEING SERVED BY THE VILLAGERS.


a ladder by which he escaped his watery prison. Emaciated, the first locals he met ran to the palace to say they had seen a wandering evil spirit. As cunning as ever, Cupak realized that his attempt to commit fratricide had failed. Taking advantage of the situation he had the spirit beaten unconscious, stuffed in a burlap bag and cast into a river whose raging waters carried it down to the sea.

Now feeling completely secure as the heir to the throne (the princess had no brothers) Cupak lived a penultimate life of decadence—feasting, drinking and whoring as he pleased. Devouring scores of suckling pig every day, the farmers groaned under the burden of his accelerating demands. His notoriety expanded with his girth and nobody dared rebuke the shenanigans of the fiancé of their beloved princess.

Karma, however, would catch up with Cupak when he least expected it for his brother once again managed to miraculously survive, saved by a kind and simple fisherman who had caught him in his net. The fisherman and his wife, who were childless, had long prayed to the gods for a son. The discovery of the handsome unconscious boy in their nets convinced them their prayers had been answered. Slowly nursing him back to health, Grantang, who suffered amnesia, was a model son who regularly accompanied his adopted mother to the market to sell flowers. Mustikan, who regularly

bought flowers from the women, noticed the ring on his finger and realized her beloved Grantang was still alive and well. The meeting also jarred Grantang’s memory of all. Filled with righteous anger he confronted his now gigantic drunken brother and demanded justice. The crowds joined in and threatened the now bloated Cupak with death and the ugly glutton slinked off into ignominy and shame forever.

The Cupak story would live on in Bali for many centuries. The popular theme of good versus evil was performed in dance and theatre genres including Gambuh and Arja. The story was also depicted by Balinese artists including the great Gusti Nyoman Lempad of Ubud and Ida Bagus Nyoman Sasak of Batuan who’s expressive Batuan school ink on paper shows the hairy Cupak hiding in the tamarind tree as his brother battles the evil witch Benaroe, stabbing her in the heart with a kris. A new version of the story entitled “Cupak Devours the Earth” that compares modern real estate agents with the Glutton recently appeared in North Bali. The same theme was featured in an article in Britain’s Guardian newspaper entitled “In Bali, rich foreigners are sparking a property frenzy, but who benefits?” (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/mar/09/bali-property-frenzy-islanders-boom) just goes to show that peoples of all nations share similar values when it comes to engorging or enriching yourself at the expense of others. ■

Bruce W. CarpenterAuthor and noted Indonesian art expert, Bruce W. Carpenter has authored and co-authored more than 16 books and scores of articles on the art, culture and history of Indoneisa. His most recent was Antique Javanese Furniture and Folk Art.

BATUAN SCHOOL INK ON PAPER BY IDA BAGUS NYOMAN SASAK. THE HAIRY CUPAK HIDING IN THE TAMARIND TREE AS HIS BROTHER BATTLES THE EVIL WITCH BENAROE, STABBING HER IN THE HEART WITH A KRIS.


gluttony

by Seamus McElroy

Who's Watching Anyway?

N ow in the last week of the Lenten calendar, a new Pope heads the

Catholic church, and the austerity and baroness of the inside of the church, with all statues and effigies covered in purple cloth, signifying a period of fasting and mourning, will soon give way to the celebration of Easter and the giving of Easter eggs—if you can find them in Indonesia!

Easter is the most important period in the Christian calendar. Much more so than the birth of Christ. During the week of Easter, there is the Last Supper, when Jesus promises his disciples the land of life after death with God, the Father, and him in heaven.

The giving of his body and blood to his followers at the Last Supper was to be put into a new reality when he was crucified the next day; Good Friday or Jumat Agung, the King of Fridays, in Indonesian. The despair and fear that overtook the disciples, whereby they hid for fear of being also caught and possibly hung by the Romans for being followers of Jesus, was overcome when they discovered that Jesus’ body had not been snatched from his cave tomb on Sunday morning—but that he had himself risen from the dead. News of this came from two of his followers, not disciples, but women sinners.

The twelve disciples were far away from Galilee when that same Sunday afternoon they heard word of what had happened at Jesus’ tomb. Jesus appeared to them that same evening, moving through

their locked doors and back out again after he had said what he had come to say. They no longer doubted the word of the women for they had now seen Jesus, confirming that he had indeed risen from the dead, for themselves.

The disciples soon came out of hiding, believing they would be protected by their Jesus, their God. This was to prove to be true for these, the first twelve disciples, followers of Jesus. But not for many of those who came after them over the centuries that followed.

The forty days of Lent, from Ash Wednesday through to Easter Sunday, is supposed to be a period of fasting and abstinence. Such periods, one would assume, would be followed by periods of excess—of drinking and eating. But not so traditionally. The periods of fasting in the lead up to the planting season in Europe are geared to

reducing the excesses of the winter months when, through lack of exercise, there is a period of getting into shape. Today, many women use Lent to give up foods—even whole meals—in their effort to get into shape for the spring and summer. It is at this time, at Easter Sunday and thereafter, that out come the short skirts and flimsy clothes to replace the woollies of the cold winter months.

Gluttony is one of the Seven Deadly Sins ‘from which all sin is derived.’

But gluttony seems so innocent. Imbibing to excess—we have all done that surely. Eating to excess—also. We feel overfull, over heavy, over weight—so much so it can be difficult to get up off the couch. But by the next day, the excesses of the previous day are all but forgotten. Headaches are gone. Gluttony, though, is more pernicious than the occasional blow-out. It is the doing to excess of any number of things.

Most of us crave for the opposite in our lives. A balanced life. We recognize it when we see it in others. Balance, fairness, being open, a true friend that people— family and friends alike—can call on, rely on. It means a selflessness. Gluttony at its simplest means excess of any kind—with this excess directed to yourself, for your own benefit. Derived from the Latin, gluttire, meaning to gulp down or swallow, gluttony is the over-indulgence, over-consumption of anything to the point of wasting it. Greed

and greediness. Rapaciousness, voraciousness. Piggishness—because the pig has historically been seen as self-interested to the point of hoggishness, not willing to share the things you have in abundance. In Christian religions, gluttony is considered a sin because of the excessive desire for food, and its antithesis, the withholding from the needy.

Thomas Aquinas, in the Middle Ages, went so far as to prepare a list of ways to commit gluttony, comprising: (i) eating too soon, (ii) eating too much, (iii) eating too expensively, (iv) eating too daintily, (v) eating wildly. Its opposite is temperance—which does not mean abstinence but in moderation, in control, exercising self-restraint, self-discipline and with this is the idea of doing this so that others can share in the abundance of the harvest, the rewards.

At its simplest, gluttony can be interpreted as a glut, an excessive amount, surplus to requirements which can be seen as expressing selfishness—placing one's own interests above the interests or well-being of others. The exact opposite of selflessness. The word I associate with selflessness is not piety but charity, not in the sense of aid but of kindness, humanity, generosity, tolerance, sympathy, understanding, consideration for others.

No one likes to see a glutton. It repels.

By contrast, giving people the time to listen to them is considered a good thing to do. Even if you cannot help them, people who are listened to do not feel forlorn, lost, desperate, at the edge of society. Rather they feel included, loved, cared about and cared for.

Gluttony, therefore, covers so many things about modern day life—it is certainly not limited to eating or drinking an excessive amount. But recognising it for what it is and trying to do the exact opposite is a good life strategy. The people who love you the most will appreciate you recognising and changing this aspect of your life. If nothing else, share your time more, especially for the people who can benefit most from being with you. Seeing how they develop as a result will be its own reward. ■

©BETH

TYLE

RN

EG

OTIA

TED

STU

DIE

S.BLO

GSPO

T

Seamus McElroySeamus McElroy is an environmental consultant and university lecturer based in Bali.

Gluttony is one of the Seven Deadly Sins ‘from which all sin is derived.’

ST. THOMAS AQUINAS


by Ken Dinsmore

health and wellness

Patterns of Harmony in Digestive Health

W eight management is an ongoing issue for the health care

profession worldwide. Today’s fast paced lifestyle needs plenty of discipline to keep digestive patterns functioning properly. Fast foods, eating on the run, eating too quickly, missing meals, foods with poor nutritive value and processed foods with chemical additives are just some of the factors keeping our digestive processes under attack. The staggering fact is that up to 56% of people in the developed world are overweight and this figure is growing yearly. Being overweight not only brings health risks but can make everyday activities difficult. Weight management and health can be achieved through some simple and specific life style changes including proper diet, a correct exercise regime and, most importantly, being able to identify patterns of digestive disharmony/stress before they arise.

Three areas that have a big say in digestive harmony/health are the liver, the gut, and Ph values. The Liver’s main function is to ensure the smooth flow of energy assisting the Stomach and Spleen’s digestive processes. If liver energy flows smoothly then the stomach can complete its function of ripening and rotting or composting the food. The spleen can then extract the pure food energy. If the liver’s function is impaired it may invade the Stomach causing

belching, sour regurgitation, nausea, and vomiting. A classic example of this happening is when the body ingests too much alcohol. If the liver invades the spleen’s function of transformation and transportation of food essence then this results in loose stools, flatulence and diarrhoea, which happens when the body has been overloaded with too much rich food. Behind the saying “you are what you eat” lies the liver, so a healthy functioning liver is important for ensuring smooth digestive processes.

The GutGood gut health ties in with immune health, feeling good and the body’s ability in keeping the baddies at bay. In the gut, hydrochloric acid is the main Stomach acid and it is necessary to breakdown and absorb protein, activate enzymes, and absorption of carbohydrates, fats, minerals and vitamins. The acids’ presence also assists in muscle contractions that push food through the intestines while simultaneously destroying any harmful bacteria, parasites, and other baddies that may be present. Without acid, micro-organisms can build to dangerous levels causing a huge range of gastrointestinal problems. The gut should have 85% of healthy bacteria to keep the 15% of dangerous bacteria at non harmful levels. A course of antibiotics does not differentiate between the good and bad bacteria, killing all the good and bad gut flora causing

feelings of fogginess, lethargy, and as a consequence, digestive patterns of disharmony can arise after a course of antibiotics. It is important to restore the balance of gut flora after antibiotics with a course of good probiotics recommended by a health professional.

Ph values of acidity and alkalinity is another important area and one that is rarely discussed. If you swim in a pool with low or high Ph values,

it would not be comfortable as the water would sting the eyes. It is the same with the body, which is 80% fluid. The Ph value is a standard measure of acid/alkaline balance, on a scale of one (extremely acid) to 14 (extremely alkaline) with seven being neutral. Most of our vital fluids and tissues should be slightly alkaline; blood for example has a slightly alkaline ph between 7.3-7.4, exactly the same as seawater, and almost all forms of internal toxicity cause a state of acidosis in the body. In turn, excessive levels of acid residues in the blood and tissues suppress immune response, interfere with normal metabolism, inhibit digestion and assimilation, promote fungal and bacterial infections, and cause a range of other malfunctions and ill health.

So how do we alkalise the system? Generally speaking most vegetables and fruits have an alkaline forming effect on the body. Most grains, animal foods, and highly processed foods have an acid forming effect. Your health is best served by a good mix of nutrient rich, alkaline and acidic forming foods. Ideally you want to eat more alkaline-forming foods than acid forming foods to have the net acid-alkaline forming effects of your diet match the slightly alkaline Ph of your blood. The following list gives us an indication of which common foods have an alkaline-forming effect and an acid forming effect.

The above list is a small example but gives a fair idea of what food groups are alkaline or acid forming within the body. If the system is acidic then weight loss

becomes difficult. Many health practitioners site a surprising number and variety of physical problems and diseases they believe are caused by acidity. It is a common theme amongst health practitioners believing that the vast majority of the population in industrialised nations suffer from problems caused by acidification because both modern lifestyle and diet engenders acidity within our internal environment. Supplements such as spirulina, barley grass and wheat grass act to balance and alkalize the system.

A balanced diet combined with regular exercise should keep the body at peak performance for many years. “Health and wellbeing can be achieved only by remaining centred in spirit, guarding against the squandering of energy and promoting the constant flow of chi and blood, maintaining a harmonious balance of yin and yang, adapting to the changing seasonal and yearly macroscopic influences and nourishing one’s life preventatively. This is the way to a long and happy life.” Quote from Nei Jing the classic of internal medicine.

In summary, be gentle with your liver and gut as they may need a rest. By exercising a diet with nutrient rich alkalising foods, keeping the gut flora active, being mindful of the quantity of acid forming foods we eat and the effect on Ph values, then weight gain will not become an issue. ■

Foods that have a moderate to

strong alkaline forming effect

Watermelon Papaya

Lemons Grapes

Broccoli Pineapple

Celery Apples

Limes Ginger

Mango Cauliflower

Most herbs Avocados

Foods that have a moderate to

strong acid forming effect

Sea foodAlcohol

CheeseSoft drinks

Boxed cerealsTobacco

Flesh meatsCoffee

bread pastryWhite sugar

Antibiotics (most drugs)Refined salt

White flour products

Artificial sweeteners

Ken DinsmoreKen Dinsmore has a bachelor of science degree (Australia) and specialises in Traditional Chinese Medicine. Ken's health mantra is simple if the mind/body is strong focused and in harmony then disease will not manifest. E-mail: [email protected]


expat anecdotes

by Salvador Bali

S.N.A.F.U

T his young woman I knew of, but due to circumstances and situations, names cannot

be mentioned. She was a beach beauty who vacationed a few weeks periodically every year here in Bali, also bringing one of the most horrible episodes I’ve ever encountered.

One afternoon while sunbathing on the beach, she noticed an unusually ugly rash on her left thigh, and before the day had ended it had exploded into a bubbling dome all the way down to her kneecap, causing her quite a bit of worry. Later that evening it got so bad that she drove off into the night to see the nearest doctor. Turned out by reference that it was one of those demurs, you put the lime in the coconut and you rub it around and you call me in the morning. She immediately put on this prescribed ointment rubbing it vigorously in and all over her left thigh in dear hopes it would clear up this ugly mess by morning.

On her way home she felt a terrible hot burning sensation all up and down her left leg, she lifted her skirt while driving and was horrified; her leg was blistering and spurting with blood and puss and burning more and more intensely moment by moment, and the colors were indescribable. Just

then she looked up to see a motorcyclist shooting out of nowhere, she swerved to avoid the collision and ran smack into a tree, crushing her right leg. She was picked up by an ambulance and rushed to the hospital and ushered in straightaway to the emergency room, whereupon the doctors and interns took one look at the leg and then with X-ray concluded the leg had to come off immediately, amputation was a necessity.

Organized kayos prevailed, and the leg was amputated, static in the attic, mind blower, one of the interns of all people realized upon lifting the sheet, they had cut the wrong leg off. Being that the other left leg was in such a mess, they assumed this was the leg to amputate. Pandemonium, what to do? And so the right leg was amputated as well. After much hullabaloo and time and lawyers, this situation was brought to the attention of the courts and obviously this was a clear case of incompetence, cut and dry so to speak, no pun intended. Try as they may with witnesses, X-rays and all the enclosure and inclusive evidence, she lost the case. Shocked beyond belief when I saw her wheeling around, I asked how this could have happened. She looked at me with no remorse and simply said, “I didn’t have a leg to stand on.” Gottchya.

Chow mein, Salvador Bali. ■

'I didn't have a leg to

stand on'


by Karen Davis

Food for Thought

observations

I n this 21st century, Bali is rarely referred to as a paradise. Aldous Huxley in the mid-20th

century wrote a book entitled ‘The Island’ in which he describes a utopian paradise of communities on a beautiful island paradise. He was writing about Bali. Despite centuries of trading, associations with foreigners and colonization by the Dutch, Bali remained basically the same. Until the mid-eighties Bali was still an island paradise, far removed from the polluted, modern ways of the West. Foreigners, even after living here for decades, lived in the prevailing culture and respected the nature of the land and its people.

When a certain group of travellers and surfers came in the seventies and eighties, they came here to live a simple life. Bamboo huts on the beach with sand floors were considered a luxury because of the simplicity and one’s proximity to nature. The lack of electricity made Bali all the more magical. A

dinner party was a dozen people gathering to share a meal. Torches were lit and music was possible with batteries in a cassette player with speakers. Larger parties meant getting a car battery for sounds. Some restaurants like Blue Ocean and Made’s had electricity and served jaffles, juices and other western cuisine. Enough to please the palate. But it obviously wasn’t enough.

The dirty old Dutch kerosene lamps gave way to ‘clean’ electricity. Everyone had to have it and there went the magic. With electricity one could see at night; not the stars but what else was coveted. A refrigerator, a real oven, hot water and why not a TV? Bring one for Wayan, too. The first TV shows here were the Flintstones and the A-Team, which was followed by a rash of burglaries; a few in which the victims were tied up. Where to put all these items dragged here by happy travellers? In a home of your own where curious natives could be locked out. The subject of ownership arose. People from other lands started looking around and coveting what they couldn’t buy. So they settled for long leases. It was theirs and they had paid for it. They began demanding options to extend because now they were invested. And all good foreigners know an investment has to grow and yields a profit. It’s only natural, it’s only fair. All the work for one’s own comfort must have gross profit written in somehow.

People started coveting what belonged to Bali in order to have the comforts they took for granted back home right here in paradise. Of course that meant the beast consumerism would follow, and it has. The beast grew… dirt roads were paved in black. Streets were lit up and goods displayed at all hours. Now people could do business into the night and then go out at all hours to 66 and Gado Gado. Some of those same old travellers were now in business in order to maintain the lifestyle and comforts they deserved.

Food was a big thing. How long can you go without a big juicy steak and some fries? It was fabulous when 66 put in an Italian restaurant and then a string of lovely little cafes sprung up on Rum Jungle road; Thai food, a great French restaurant, a Natural Café. Made’s Warung was just not enough and restaurants are profit. On visa runs to Singapore, these lovers of Bali would hit McDonalds. When McDonalds arrived in Bali there were some grumblings but also a lot of customers. With the easy to use highways that run sporadically throughout the island come the fast food venues. Starbucks, Burger King, Dunkin’ Donuts are all here to stay. The Balinese did not request them. They did not bless them. Rather the gluttony, the misplaced desires of the

foreigners created a market for these corporate food vendors. Indonesians saw them as a symbol of prosperity, cool venues of western taste. On an island where obesity was rarely, if ever seen, now chubby kids and adults are not an uncommon sight. On an island where once there was little malnutrition, now it is a big problem.

Sadly prosperity and consumerism create poverty. Cheap labour is expected. Prices of food skyrocket. Rice paddies disappear and cement buildings go up, housing more mega stores for all the imported and local foods, furniture, computers, cars and other necessities demanded by consumers. This all requires more electricity.

When people who now live in the suburban areas all over Bali complain about the excessive traffic and the filthy beaches full of plastic, perhaps they should take a moment out of their day and look within. Why did you come here? Did you come here to experience the magic of Bali? If so, what are you doing sequestered in a villa, alone in your pool, one of over a thousand in Canggu alone. This was the island where one never saw hunger, where happy Balinese taught us daily what was important in life. This is where we learned to be so satisfied with so little. There is little satisfaction in the eyes of new arrivals when they land in Bali. Tourists express disappointment. They do not understand why the Balinese would allow such rabid growth.

The Balinese had little to do with it. The rice farmer did not understand compounded interest when he borrowed against his land. He wanted his children to go to school, maybe a new motorbike. But not this. The lucky ones got rich, for a while. Now you can still have a pembantu for about the same you paid thirty years ago… a little over a hundred dollars a month. About the same as you spend at the supermarket in one visit. Food prices have gone up for the locals. Indonesians spend 40% of their income on food. That’s basic food. That is food for thought.

Think about how you live and who benefits. It is not the Balinese. ■

Karen DavisChilean born American,Karen Davies is a journalist,artist and art therapist. Formerly a NYC fashion designer,she has been coming to Bali since 1979 and now resides here.

'People started coveting what belonged to Bali in order to have the comforts they took for granted back home right here in paradise.'

©PICTURESOFBALI.BLOGSPOT


by Leif Hope

travel

Natural Wildlife Repositories: The Animal Parks of Bali

V isiting an Indonesia-based animal park is the best way to get acquainted with the country's unparalleled biodiversity

spanning 4,800 kilometers across two gigantic geographic zones. Bali is fortunate to have three well-established world-class zoological gardens, all located in Gianyar District in Bali’s heartland, whose quality, professionalism and attractiveness would make any small island population proud.

The Bali ZooBuilt on a former coffee and cacao plantation, the Bali Zoo is set on 5.5 hectares of natural landscape filled with exuberant shrubbery, lawns, waterfalls, tall trees, long grasses and thick jungle-like vegetation. The enclosures are clean and spacious, re-creating in miniature the habitats of the respective animal being exhibited.

Maintained by a staff of over 100, receiving 10,000 visitors a month during the peak tourist season, the Bali Zoo is home to 350 animals including orangutans, gibbons, camels, porcupines, marsupials, the omnivorous binturong, the muncak barking deer and the mouse deer (kancil) of storybook legend.

The zoo is also a learning centre, promoting environmental awareness and wildlife conservation and educating children about endangered species. Plaques in front of each enclosure show a photo of the specimen, give precise zoological data in both Indonesian and English, plus a geographic distribution map.

Deep in the environs, we passed the Sumatran and Bengal tiger exhibits, the zoo’s heavyweights and crowd pleasers. To the delight of small kids, little animals such as marmots and rabbits are not neglected. All along the winding path zoo employees encouraged us to hold an exotic bird, snake or lizard. Visitors are even given the chance to feed the carnivores.

Suddenly I could hear our two kids shouting as they rounded a corner. In front of them was a big shaggy 22-year-old male orangutan just two meters away. Kids are able to get alarmingly close to animals at the Bali Zoo, unlike European zoos where specimens are kept at a distance.

Lethargic and deceptively harmless, the old overweight primate was calmly eating from an immense pile of fruits, carefully peeling tiny bananas and plopping them into his mouth. On the way out, while signing the visitor’s book, I read a few commentaries from other visitors: “I’m disappointed I couldn’t touch the orangutan,” and “This zoo needs more babies!” and “Better than Melbourne zoo!”

Jl. Raya Singapadu, Sukawati. Tel: 0361-294-357

The Art of the Bird Park Twelve years ago when I first visited the Bali Bird Park (Jl. Serma Cok Ngurah Gambir, Singapadu, Batubulan, Gianyar, tel. 0361-299-352), it was a drive out into the countryside but now it’s just a 25-minute crawl north of Batubulan. Although the parking areas were full of cars and tour buses, the eden-like park itself easily absorbed all the passengers and still felt half empty.

We began our walk through the lavishly landscaped grounds, ponds and jungle grottoes in the cool of the morning when the birds were most active. I could hear the burbling, warbling, drawling, mournful, harsh, hollow, guttural, plaintive, staccato and ecstatic cries of hundreds of bird species. Accustomed to being around humans, cockatoos and parrots were sitting in the branches of trees, and peacocks and cranes were wandering about unfettered.

Next came cages holding amazingly colored macaws, followed by the dignified hornbills, mythological looking cassowaries with beady piercing eyes, then eagles, small owls, wading pelicans. So well camouflaged are some species that they were difficult to see in their leafy big cages. Smack in the middle is a world famous cultural icon, an authentic Torajan house from south Sulawesi. In other enclosures stood facsimiles of ancient Javanese temples.

Papua, a gigantic aviary adjacent to the ‘Rainforest Juice Bar,’ is full of exotic species from New Guinea. Except for the toucans, we had to keep our eyes peeled to spot birdlife. I nearly tripped over a stray drongo and Mambruk pigeon walking along the paths. I could hear the sharp cries of the Bird of Paradise—a member of the jay family—and the ghostly tremulous cries of other invisible birds from the eye level trek through the treetops under a canopy.

A white board in front of the new arrivals facility listed the resident Bali Starlings plus a list of the other species in the breeding program. I asked one of the curators if the breeding programs were successful. “Indigenous breeds like the Bali Starling are easy to breed, but non-indigenous species like macaws are difficult even if you have a healthy male and female. But we’ve been lucky obtaining protected species from outside Indonesia. Our park has the only Hyacinth Macaw in all of Indonesia.”

Jl. Serma Cok Ngurah Gambir Singapadu Batubulan Sukawati Gianyar. Tel: 0361 299352

Bali’s Own Jurassic ParkJust 15 meters away from the bird park, entering the adjacent Rimba Reptile Park means stepping back into the dawn of time. The atmosphere turned from open meandering parkland full of birdsong to a dark humid silent rainforest laced with a labyrinth of narrow paths. With more than 180 specimens, this is one of Southeast Asia’s rarest and most extensive collections of reptiles and amphibians.

We first came upon a cave-like reptilarium where we got a glimpse of rare terrestrial species behind glass. Well over 100 snakes inhabit Indonesia, the majority non-poisonous, but these cave-like corridors concentrate on the more venomous varieties: king cobras, deadly pit vipers and the extremely toxic taipan whose bite has enough venom to kill 300 people. Props like canon, driftwood, stone temples and fountains; wooden wagon wheels, hangman’s noose and pocked voodoo statuary made it a short visit for our young kids.

The pride of the park is its Komodo dragons. By this time it was mid-day and the famous monitor lizard was active, but half-hidden. I had to jockey with an Italian woman to get a clear shot of the giant lizard with my camera. We were both satisfied when the star attraction lurched out from behind a concrete wall and crawled towards us.

The stone pathways and stairs ultimately led to the park’s highest ground, a large open-air courtyard of pools and trees where iguanas and pythons roamed around and basked in the branches. The girls posed for photographs in front of a tortoise, then the caretaker handed them a magnificent very obliging sail-finned lizard, just long enough to record the experience for posterity. ■

Jl. Serma Cok Ngurah Gambir, Singapadu, Batubulan, Gianyar. Tel: 0361 299-344


meet the young expat

by Seamus McElroy

Adventures of RexyPILOT, POLO PLAYER, SURFER, ENTERTAINER, ENTREPRENEUR—NICE GUY!

W esterners living in or visiting Bali think Balinese parents are

irresponsible because they allow their children to ride motorbikes on main roads from the age of about nine, some even as young as five—without training, older pillion passenger, helmet, or driving licence. Well, everybody knows today’s kids are fitter, faster, healthier and more precious than children of previous generations —so why not indulge them with adult toys?

But even they would be surprised to hear of a child named Rexy who took a Cessna single prop four seater airplane into the air from John Wayne International Airport in May 2010 at the age of eight, and flew for his first time for an hour in some of the busiest airspace in the world and got the ultimate accolade from his flight instructor that day—“You fly better than many commercial pilots do in these light aircraft!”

“Ground Control, Cessna C172 call sign 1234 RV parked at entrance to taxiway NZ requests permission to take off ”, came the young confident voice over the airway. The ground controller was clearly surprised by the young child-like voice squawking in his earphones. “Repeat that Cessna C172 1234 RV, what is your current position again and, have you filed a flight plan?”

The instructor answers this time and repeats the information Rexy gave the flight controller.

Rexy picks up the story from here. It sounds like it is etched in the young boys’ brain.

Ground Control now acknowledges our presence with "John Wayne Airport Control to Cessna 1234 RV requesting taxi to the active

runway 19R for a straight out departure.” I now came back on air and repeat the instructions back to Ground Control to show I have heard and understood them.”

I push the throttle to full thrust as we start to move forward, accelerating as we head further along the 1,700 metre runway. At 60 knots/hour, I pull on the steering yoke and the runway begins to disappear; the earth drops away as the angle of the front of the plane climbs at a rate of 500’ per nautical mile for the next five minutes 'til we reach a height of 2,400’. Boy this feels great. I’m actually flying for real now.

I followed the instructions to the letter. Controlling an airplane is an amazing experience. The skies in this part of California are real busy with five other major commercial airports, including LAX, within a 20 mile radius of John Wayne. I couldn’t control my excitement.

For the next hour I felt like an eagle flying over my home territory; flying over my school and seeing where we lived. Landing, though, was much harder. Several flights later I felt I really had gotten the hang of it and ever since I’ve been really hooked on flying.

Rexy's mum moved here last year so that Rexy could attend the Canggu Community School. Unfortunately, the two schooling

systems between CCS and Rexy's school in California are too different, therefore his dad home schools Rexy using the syllabus, books and materials provided by Rexy's school district in California. This enables Rexy to work at the same pace while covering the exact same material as his classmates back home.

Rexy tells me he is actually ahead of schedule, never missing an assignment and is doing pretty well. To get an hour’s flying lesson, he has to not only pass an assignment, but get 100% in three assignments in a row! Since being in Bali he has bagged himself another three hours flying time back in California. His grades are always near or at the top for his school and often within the top in California State for his year. What he misses are the sports he would otherwise be enjoying back in California, like little league baseball, riding horses, playing polo.

Rexy is a wiry, 1.5m, 33kg mixed Indonesian-American kid of ten today. The first half of his life he lived in Puri Gading and Solo being cared for there by his grandparents whilst his parents worked away. By his fifth birthday his parents decided his schooling should be mostly in California. For the last year, since his Dad retired, his time has been split more evenly between the two countries. And thanks to the effort he and his father puts into his home schooling, it works remarkably

well for Rexy.

What do you think of yourself as, Indonesian or American?

These days I normally think of myself as an American, especially when I’m in the USA, because I'm a US citizen and most of my recent life has been in the USA. But when I'm in Indonesia, I think of myself as Indonesian. I feel I belong in both places, both societies. I am happy wherever I am ‘cos I have such good friends and great people who take real good care of me, especially my mom and dad.

What has been your biggest challenge to date?

My dad says I spent my “diaper years” in Indonesia. I moved to the

it he enrolled me in the Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association and even took me to the Experimental Aircraft Association show in Osh Kosh, Wisconsin where I met Buzz Aldrin. My Dad set up some goals for me to meet at school and if I reached them, I could earn myself real flying lessons. I've flown about 20 hours so far and only need another 20 to earn a private pilot's licence. But I will have to wait until I am 17 until I can legally get that. However, until then, all my flying time with a certified flight instructor qualifies me towards any and all license requirements. So by the time I am 17, I may have all my flying time and written exams passed to qualify for a commercial license and flight instructor's license.

In the history of aerial warfare there is no man more famous than Manfred von Richthofen, Germany’s first world war ace fighter pilot, known to most of us as the “Red Baron”, who shot down a staggering eighty enemy aircrafts between 1915 and 21 April 1918, when he was shot down over France and killed at the age of 25 in his famous red Albatross fighter plane.

Like the Baron, this boy is no braggart. He is an engaging, industrious, unassuming and very self-assured young man who is easy to get to know. He is very generous to others and with the time he spends with them, always charming, encouraging, and occasionally playing jokes. No wonder my eight year-old daughter is so smitten.

This boy would make any parent proud! ■

Seamus McElroySeamus McElroy is an environmental consultant and university lecturer based in Bali.

US with dad just before my fifth birthday. It was very hard at first. At that time I spoke Indonesian and little English. So starting kindergarten in California was tough because I had to learn English very quickly. I found I could express myself by drawing pictures of everything I did and saw, which really developed my art skills.

Finally, I cannot resist asking you how you got to take up flying?

My dad was a pilot and owned several twin engine airplanes. One Christmas he gave me Microsoft’s Flight Simulator. I got so good at

'For the next hour I felt like an eagle flying over my home territory; flying over my school and seeing where we lived.'


To find out more about live stand-up comedy in Indonesia

please e-mail [email protected]

text or call (+62) 821 1194 3084 or register at

www.thecomedyclub.asia

(Answers in the next edition!)

The Gluttony Quiz

*Answers for Edition 19ACROSS: 1. Double-glazing 8. Pod 9. Satanical 10. Terrific 11. Aria 13. Crocus

14. August 16. Lute 17. Backward 20. Spaghetti 21. Ill 22. Intransigence DOWN: 1. Depot 2. Under contract 3. Luscious 4. Gothic 5. Acne 6. In circulation

7. Gallant 12. Duckling 13. Colossi 15. Cactus 18. Delve 19. Whoa

0821 1194 3084 SMS your answer followed by "Bali" to:

ACROSS5. Automated form of transport for large numbers (6,5)7. Cash drawer (4)8. Pasta tubes (8)9. Dressing for wounds (7)11. Substantial—having three dimensions (5)13. Disparage (5)14. Retribution (7)16. Round (8)17. Steal—something to hit people with (4)18. Having good grounds (4–7)

DOWN1. Basin (4)2. Feathers (7)3. Fishing vessel (5)4. Cooked too long (8)5. When specially invited guests see an exhibition (7,4)6. Behaving without restraint (11)10. At once—by the shortest route (8)12. Frightened (7)15. Steep promontory (5)17. Broad (4)

<<< Winner : Mary T. from Ubud

by Eamonn Sadler

light entertainment

Name The Celebrity

For the

Macet Mind

is made possible by:

Answer: Gregory Peck and Brock Peters in To Kill a Mocking Bird.Can you name these famous actors and say which film they were

making when this picture was taken?

Scan the barcode and answer the 10 questions correctly for a chance to win a dinner at Mykonos Restaurant, Greek Taverna, Seminyak (worth Rp.300,000)! Closing date: 15th April 2013

Congratulations to Elizabeth Oprandi ([email protected]) for winning a dinner

worth Rp. 500,000 at Komune Resort & Beach Club, Keramas! Enjoy!

And Now for Something Completely Unfunny…

I n the early days of the Jakarta Comedy Club we were lucky enough to catch some of today’s comedy

superstars on their way up the ladder to fame and fortune. The headliner for our first ever show in April 2001 was Jason Byrne, who is now the biggest selling act of all time at the biggest comedy festival in the world, the Edinburgh Comedy Festival. Jason has also released three best-selling DVDs, hosts his own radio show and has appeared in multiple TV shows and movies. In July 2001 we also had the great fortune to catch comedy legend Ross Noble on his way to the top. Since then he has become a household name in Australia and the UK and has a massive following of fans all over the world. Over the last 12 years we have presented three of Channel 4 UK’s Top 100 International Comedians—Bill Bailey (No. 7), Ross Noble (No. 11) and

Emo Philips (No. 77). Not bad for a tiny little comedy club in the middle of nowhere.

But what is it that makes a regular comedian break through from the professional comedy club circuit to the hallowed halls of comedy fame? One thing is for sure, it’s not just being “funny”. Comedy is so subjective, and what might have one person rolling on the f loor could very well leave another person rolling their eyes. And what might drive Pommies to hysterics could very well drive Ozzies to drink. And even if EVERYONE thinks you’re funny it still doesn’t guarantee you a place alongside Jason Byrne, Bill Bailey, Ross Noble or Emo Philips.

The only common factor I have noticed that sets people like Jason, Bill, Ross and Emo apart from the crowd is being “different”. I can’t say different

in what way, because it is extremely hard to describe, but I CAN tell you that “different” is the equivalent of “memorable” in this context. We have many regular customers who have been coming to the Jakarta Comedy Club since the beginning, and very often after a show and a few Bintangs we will get to talking about the acts we have had here over the years. It is usually the same few names that come up, and invariably the person who remembers the NAME of and act remembers a PART of the act—a particular gag will stick out in the person’s memory for some reason. I believe these gags stick out in people’s memories because they are different AND funny, not just funny. The other thing that makes the gag different is of course the way that it is delivered. If Jason Byrne used an Emo Philips gag for example it wouldn’t necessarily work because they each have their own unique styles. So a funny and different

gag, delivered in a unique way, is what people remember. Comedian Paul Ogata is a Japanese American from Hawaii, and his unique and hysterical routine about Japanese culture is one everyone who has seen him remembers—but it wouldn’t work for any other comedian.

So “different” is the key factor for me that can lead to fame and fortune for a comedian. But not necessarily. We have had many different and funny comedians at the JCC over the years, but only a handful have become famous. So success in the comedy business, like in almost every other business, is about hard work, having a product that is unique or different in some way, and a hell of a lot of luck.

People often ask me who my favourite comedian is from the past 12 years, but I can’t answer that without offending somebody. The vast majority of the

comedians we have had here have been an absolute pleasure to be around and we have only ever had one or two acts that “bombed”. Great jokes or rehearsed acts are one thing and can be hilarious, but the funniest things I have heard in my life have been said on the spur of the moment or “off the cuff”, with no rehearsal and no planning. These comments are made possible by wit and quick thinking, and they are for me much funnier for that reason – and they are “unique” and “different” because nobody has ever said them before. The trouble is they are generally only funny at the time and “you had to be there”, so there is no point in me sharing any of them with you. The only remotely funny thing about this article is the title, and it’s only funny if you are a fan of Monty Python, and even then it’s only slightly funny because it’s unexpected. And then the irony; an article about comedy that isn’t funny. Har-de-har-de-har. ■


Arts & Exhibitions

Two artists / Two Galleries : tw(in)side Fri, 29 Mar 2013–Mon, 29 Apr 2013Kendra Gallery Jl. Drupadi no. 888, Seminyak

Opening Friday 29th March at 6pm–9pm. Open: Monday–Saturday, 10am–6pm

For more information call 0361-736628Website: www.kendragallery.com

Yachts Asia Bali 2013 Sat, 08 Jun 2013–Sun, 09 Jun 2013Taman Begawan, Nusa Dua

Yachts Asia Bali 2013, conceptualized by the same group who made many international boating and yacht shows successful in the region, will be hosted in sunny Bali and expected to attract more than 6000 visitors and set the pace as one of the leading marine and luxury lifestyle exhibition in the region.

This unique yachting extravaganza is set to send “eyes-popping” with some Asian debuts of world class vessels. Indonesia and Bali’s boat market is

growing as more and more affluent foreigners flock to Bali annually for long vacations and even relocating here.

What To Expect In Yachts Asia Bali 2013?• More than 3000sqm worth of yachts, boats and related exhibits.• More than USD$200 million worth of products on display.• A forecast of more than USD$30 million of sales.• More than 6000 international visitors are expected to attend.• An expected USD$600,000 of press and broadcast coverage.

www.charterworld.com/news/yachts-asia-bali-2013-june-89

The 8th Indonesia's No.1 Livestock, Feed, Dairy & Fisheries Industry Expo 2013 Wed, 05 Jun 2013–Fri, 07 Jun 2013Bali Nusa Dua Convention Centre

INDO LIVESTOCK Expo & Forum—Indonesia’s Biggest Livestock, Feed, Dairy & Fisheries Industry Show, once again will be held at the Bali Nusa Dua Convention Centre, Bali–Indonesia from 5–7 June 2013. It will bring together trade buyers representing integrators, farmers, feed millers, meat and egg processors, retailers, veterinarians, importers and distributors to view the latest technology, update on the latest issues, network and do business.

http://www.indolivestock.com

Business & Networking

Festivals

Music & Entertainment

Workshops

Sports

Bali Business Club Referral Lunch on Tuesdays Tue, 05 Mar 2013–Wed, 26 Jun 2013Little Tree, Jl. Sunset 112x

You are invited to become a member of Bali Business Club Referral Lunch Meeting! We are having Weekly Meetings every Tuesday afternoon on 12.30—01.30 pm at Little Tree Bali, Sunset Road 112X Kuta. BBC meetings offer you the opportunity to introduce your business or product to our professional networking club, generating business referrals and guidance among all members. We offer our members a slot of 10 minutes to introduce your business or topic/issues for discussion. We look forward to seeing you there and please feel free to invite your partners/friends and bring your business card for marketing and networking in this meeting.

Rsvp. & info please contact Dayu: (0361) 7909697 or e-mail: [email protected]: www.be-do.org

2nd Bali International Choir Festival Sat, 20 Jul 2013–Fri, 26 Jul 2013

Dear Choral Friend, BICF-2013 is now Rescheduled to 20-26 July 2013.A. July 20–23, Bali Symposium 2013B. July 20–23, Bali Singing Festival 2013, Singer and Orchestra. Project: Hymn of Praise from Felix Mendelssohn. C. July 22–25, Bali International Choir Competition 2013

D. July 23–26, Bali International Choir Championship 2013

Event Package BS 2013For individual participants or groups who want to participate in Bali Symposium 2013, the commitee provides Event Package WITHOUT accommodation, and local transportation for USD 170,- per person.

This package includes:Participation fee : Participation Fee BS-2013.Goody Bag : BS 2013 KITT-Shirt: 1 per person.* T-Shirt will be the production commitee 30 April 2013, please see the size of t-shirts according to cm on the application form. The commitee can not guarantee the availability of the requested size if the size is sent after that date.

Meal: 6 meals; 3x Lunch and 3x Dinner.* The commitee will not provide meals on the arrival day due to consideration of participants possibility of flight delay, schedule changes, etc.

Free Entrance: Opening Concert.Atelier class selected, and the whole Choir Collaborati on Workshop, BS concerts, Gala Concert with Orchestra BICF 2013/Closing Concert.

Info : +62 852 408 633 16 +62 818 096 86676www.bandungchoralsociety.com

MAIKO @ Cocoon Beach Club Fri, 29 Mar 2013Jl. Double Six, Blue Ocean Boulevard

VIP Space available with full bottle service + mixers and VIP Cabana or Drabed for 6 people. FEAT: DJ Rob Sharp | Luke P | carl Drake | Jay Vicente | De|mech | DJ's Poolside from 8PM to 3AM

Flores—Volcanoes, Dragons and Ancient Culture by Dave Photo Tours Sat, 20 Apr 2013–Sat, 27 Apr 2013Flores

Indonesian born professional photographer Ferry Tan and Bali (Kiwi) resident Dayak Dave Metcalf, will be leading a fascinating cultural/photography trip to Flores and Komodo in April 2013.

We will stay in the Village of Wae Rebo, located in the district of Manggarai, and live with the locals in a Mbaru Niang or Drum House, very unique to this area.

The local people of this area are very friendly and feel it is an honor for them to welcome guests and take them into their care.

Wae Rebo is located in a stunning setting surrounded by mountains and has been described as a Shangri La and a simply unforgettable experience awaits. The group will explore the surrounding area each day and bathe in crystal clear waters, visit Waterfalls and Natural untouched forests.

This is a trip that will appeal to the adventurous soul, keen to experience a very special place seldom visited by foreigners and experience something you will never forget.

Ferry and I have structured this trip to appeal to photographers and non photographers interested in the cultural and adventurous aspects of the trip however the participants will have access to photographs taken by two Professionals.

For those keen on photography there will be plenty of opportunity to learn from Ferry and Dave with 70 years combined photography experience.

Includes Domestic airfares—Bali to Labuan Bajo return. * All Accom ( 5 nights ) and food * Transport and porter fees * Domestic airport taxes * Guide fees for Ferry and Dave

Komodo—3 day excursion—April 17,18,19 2013 As an add-on to the Flores adventure, I have planned an exciting 2-nights/3 day extension on a live-aboard boat to visit the World Heritage listed Komodo National Park and photograph the Komodo Dragons, the largest lizards on earth.The local ethnic groups that live on these islands around Komodo National Park are a mix of Bugis and Bajo people. We will visit some of the villages and have a chance to experience another culture, sit and meet with the local people, providing you with some unforgettable moments that will stay with you for the rest of your life.

Dragons,wildlife, islands, unforgettable unique and beautiful landscapes await you with an interesting look into the local culture. I hope you join us for these extra exciting three days.

This includes: Boat hire ( we sleep on the boat in cabins), All Meals, National Park fees, Guide fees, Snorkeling Equipment, Transfers from Komodo and return to the airport in Labuan Bajo

For more information about this exciting experience please email Dave direct on [email protected]

www.davidmetcalfphotography.com

Biznet Bali International Triatlon Sun, 23 Jun 2013

Olympic Distance Race 1.5km swim, 40km bike, 10km run. Sprint Distance Triatlon 500m swim, 20km bike, 5km run. Team relay for 2-3 athletes 5km Fun Run. Pre Race Buike Tour with Balinese Bike Blessing. Race day party on the beach. Welcome cocktail Party Carbo-Loading Dinner. Post-race Sunset Cocktail gathering at Ayana Resort and Spa. Games and lucky draws

Register now at : www.balitriathlon.comPhone: +62361 286 283Email: [email protected]


Classifieds are still FREE!Send in your classifieds to: [email protected] issue deadline: 3rd April, 2013

Have something to sell? Looking for something to buy? Looking for staff? Selling property? Or need a place to live? Why not place your classified ad with Bali Expat!

Your classified will be placed once for 2 weeks online and once in our printed version which has a circulation of 12,500 copies bi weekly.

Classifieds: free of charge (50 words max)Send in your classifieds to: [email protected]

YOUR BEST CHOICE FOR HOSPITALITYRECRUITMENT & EXECUTIVE SEARCH

INDONESIA

OperationsGeneral Manager (Expat/Local)

Seminyak–BaliGeneral Manager (Expat)

Jakarta–Java Group Head of IT (Expat/local)–Bali

F&B Service

Director of Restaurants, Bars & Events (Expat)–Jakarta–Java

Kitchen

Executive Sous Chef (Expat)Nusa Dua–Bali

Chef De Cuisine (Expat)–Nusa Dua–Bali

Sales & MarketingDirector of Sales & Marketing (Expat/local)

Nusa Dua - BaliDirector of Sales & Marketing (Expat/local)

Jakarta–JavaNational Director of Sales (Chinese

Account) (Expat/Local)–Bali

EngineeringDirector of Engineering Consultant

(Expat/Local)–Sanur–Bali

SpaSpa Advisor/Manager (Expat)

Seminyak–Bali

For more detailed job description and to apply online, please visit our website:

www.globalexpatrecruiting.com

Medical evacuation health and life insurance. Let us diagnose your needs.

Contact Paul Beale:Mobile: +62 816 137 0663Office: +62 21 522 0990

E-mail: [email protected]

Jobs (Available)

Services

Property

Jobs (Looking for Work)

Cheap priced 2 bedroom modern villa w/pool in lively Kerobokan for rent IDR 95 million/year (nego). furnished, expat area, secured, private, 3 minutes to Seminyak. Please contact: [email protected]

FOR SALE:Unique beautifully designed eco-lodge in CANGGU(built 2009).Located in a quiet green tropical area next to a small floating river. Comprising of 4 separate lodges, 1 lodge with large living space, tastefully decorated with vintage European quality furniture and luxurious architect-designed kitchen,3 lodges containing a huge bedroom and bathroom. Surrounded by a royal measured 20-Are tropical garden and a 17-meter lap pool.15 Minutes from Seminyak and 10 minutes to Canggu and Echo Beach. USD 295.000 nego,leasehold-16 years (extendable with another 20 yrs)Photos and info: [email protected]

Now or never lease 10 are land in Umalas against a price of two years ago from direct ower. IDR 5,3 mill/are. Most growing area of Bali at the moment. 2 years dry, so ready to build. Road acces already made. 23 years left and the option to extend another 20 year. Contact: [email protected]

Looking for night Baby sitter for our twin girls, 1 year old. Umalas, great pay, opportunity to travel with us and nice environment. e-mail cv to [email protected] or call 0878 6197 5495

Fast growing handicraft company denpasar looking for marketing, female, fluent in english, english bachelor’s degree. Send cv to Nakula Hospitality Management [email protected]

Urgently needed receptionist for a yoga place in ubud. Female preferably single max. 30 y.o, good english speaking and available to work in shifts. send cv to [email protected]

Looking for marketing finance control, delivery operator, SPV HRD, asst. engineering, admin. Please send CV to [email protected]

Pantry magic is looking for store assistant for our Jakarta Store. Good english is a must . Great package. please send your cv to [email protected]

Karma royal Group is currently experiencing rapid expansion and urgent requires: MALE Indonesian In House Executive. If you are an indonesian who speaks fluent english and are interested in earning a potentially high income, working in a positive enviroment, please forward your cv to: [email protected]

Since 1999 Bali Krisna Service CV has been the number one and most trusted domestic employee agency in Bali, specialising in housemaids, babysitters and nannies. English and indonesian speaking, permanent or temporary live in and out are available. contact 0361-744 6932

PA to the GM / InterpreterNoarth sea boats is a composites shipyard based in banyuwangi, eastern java. We market and build vessel from 9m to 63 for military and leisure markets world wide. check out our website for details of what we do. we need a bright, enthusiastic person to assist our general manager, particulary with translation work.Requirement: Indonesian nation, excellent written & verbal english, Excellent computer skills, initial contract for 3 months, remuneration negotiable.send your cv with recent photograph to: [email protected]

Expat seeking employment as project manager / supervisor or can build for you. 081 2362 9939. contact: [email protected] Expat long termed stay is searching for challenging full time management position at a reliable company. over 10 years experience in the retail business. Motivated, team player and hard working. Cv send to: [email protected]

Woman 30 Y.O looking for a job. Experience in pharmacy as assistant of pharmacist . experience in housekeeping (cabin stewardess) in cruise lines for 4 years, fluent in english, computer literate, communicative 0878 6098 2305

I am looking for part time job, working at home, have internet connection, experienced in admin and accounting. Speak english and bahasa. email: [email protected]

Italian living in bali for a long time, experienced in fashion, looking for a job as product manager or similar. multiple languages included bahasa. Energetic, detail oriented please contact 0818 0548 6378

very experience Gm with Emphasis on boutique properties, very strong in marketing both locally and internationally, very good in finance, F&B and overall operations. A real team leader and good in people skills, have a lot of pre opening experience, seeking a new similar position in bali also available for hotel technical adviser or consultant. For my CV, please contact 081 2384 2473

Bali Expat - Issue 20 – Gluttony

Documents

Transcript of Bali Expat - Issue 20 – Gluttony