C

00DDQ

©Z70

Voice

J^arl of the iVjafit

is Ik

Your heart will be winging through a never-never land where factand fantasy are one, and a dream comes true as the words are spoken.Your ring for that enchanted hour should be selected with care. It will,after all, be part of you for all of your lifetime.

We honor all major credit cards. We also cordially invite you tocomein and open your own personal lifetime charge account with LeMondeJewelers.- - : : .

(SMendeJEWBLBS

33 Years in Miami

Nincjn AV>«', Air-Conditioned

MALL 18538 Coral Way, Miami Phone:221-1424

What Part DoesThe Parish Play?

By JOHN & KATHYSCIARRILLO

How in tune are we to ourParish and what it provides orshould provide to strengthenFamily Life? Both reflectionon the past year and an-ticipation of the years to comefill us with enthusiasm for theparish and the family ministryof Family EnrichmentCommunity at St. JamesParish.

Much effort has been putinto providing our Parish withresources and opportunities tostrengthen and support theFamily. Our Parish givesyoung Engaged Couples theopportunity to deepen theircommunication by takingwhat is called a "Pre-MaritalInventory."

THE COUPLE has theadvantage of discussing, areasin their relationship that theymay not have talked about,such as finances, children andreligion. On several occasionsJohn and I have spent anevening with these youngcouples on a one to one basis.It's not easy to sit there with acouple sho's floating on cloud9, and try to bring themaround to discussingsomething that could be a realproblem after they aremarried.

It would be so mucheasier just to share in the Joyof their wedding plans, butbecause we believe it is im-portant to open up to thesesensitive areas and com-municate. We share our ownrelationship to include failuresand sucesses, and how wework at trying to be a closefamily. There are severalmarried couples in our Parishwho are available to do thesame. Sometimes it's easy tosay a parish has something foreveryone. Rather we shouldbelieve that the Parish is acombined force that trys toface up to real problems likedivorce and breakdown infamily communication.

St. James has a familyenrichment communityconsisting of fourteen persons.We meet twice a month andprovide our 'Parish withprograms such as "Eveningfor Parents", Engaged En-counter, Parents Days, Rapsessions, and combinedFamily Programs. Our Pastor,Father James Reynolds, alongwith the Priests, Sisters, andDirector of Religious

Education have been sup-portive of our efforts tostrengthen and support familylife. They often have par-ticipated in the programsgiving witness to Clergy,Religious and lay peopleworking together.

Our goal is to have ourparish reflect an attitude ofcaring for one another. We arestriving to reflect what webelieve is a real compassion andtenderness toward the Fanily.This can be accomplished bythe way our parish familyopenly invites others to joinand belong.

OUR PARISH canparticipate in tenderly rockingus as infants, comforting ourpains during childhood,patiently waiting for us to liveout our often rebelliousadolescence, and* welcome usand rejoice with us in ouradulthood. Through all this,we are being nurtured andguided, yet, we are allowed togrow in our own way, con-stantly being invited tobelong...

Today more than ever, wefind a need to celebrate us, ourFamily. To celebrate us, past,present and future. The Massis a.t the core in our way toexpress this celebration.When we receive . theEucharist we are experiencingone of the closest momentswith our Family, the Church.When we say "Amen" inreceiving the Eucharist, weare indeed saying our "Yes"and our "we will" to our wholefamily. . • . •

We feel a spiritualstrength that can help to carryus through the week ahead.We see the family and ourcommunity of the Families,the parish as the heartbeat ofChristianity all working atbeing in relationship with oneanother. These relationshipsbegin at home and deepenthrough Faith in one anotherand Jesus. When we aresensitive to one another'sneeds at home, we are sen-sitive to the needs of thosearound us. This sensitivitycan flow throughout ourParish'and although someproblems might never beresolved,'the effort to keeptrying is always there.

(Mr. & Mrs. Sciarrillo areThe Parish: Family LifeCoordinators > •-*•for St. James .Parish, NorthMiami, Florida.)

Page 2A /Miami, Florida / THE VOICE / Friday, February 23,1979

The Joys Of Family Are PositiveBy WILLIAM RYAN

I have a nine-year-old Sonwho came home the other daywith a large turtle which heencountered while deliveringhis newspapers. The likelihoodof such a meeting occurring ona Washington street on achilly December day struckme as remote, but it happenedand the turtle currentlyresides in a box in my son'sbedroom.

Even more remarkable ina way was his comment thatthe turtle appeared to be cold,since this observation wasbeing made by a boy whonever wears a hat or buttonshis coat and lor whom, so faras I knew, the word"cold" didnot exist. But children arecreatures of wonder andsurprise and the element ofthe unexpected they bring toone's life makes it richer.

BUT THE wonders andsurprises, as any parent willtestify, are by no meansuniformly pleasant. If theearly years of having childrenbring a lot of difficulty andhard-work along with the joy,the later years bring a whole

new set of problems that makethe former ones seem like —well, child's play. The onedealt with scrapes andbruises, now the cuts godeeper. There are hurtfeelings, bruised egos,problems at school, peerpressure, sibling rivalry (thephrase may be pedantic butthe reality is great), personalconfrontation, angry words,and unending challenges tothe child's self-esteem on theone hand and the. parent'sauthority on the other. .

All these things are partof life and the proper handlingand channeling of them can,with the grace of God, nuturethe human spirit. But theprocess is by no meansautomatic and the route is lessthan clearly marked.

My wife made the ob-servation the other day thathaying children does notchange you as a person but itdoes bring our new dimen-sions of your personality andcall forth resources you maynot have known youpossessed. It is good that shehas found this to be true. Ourchildren run the gamut in age

from infancy to 12 therebypresenting, it sometimesseems to me, an almost in-finite number of possibilitesand pitfalls.

Frankly I don't know if Iam passing or flunking as aparent but I do believe there isno greater calling in the worldand none in which it is betterto excel. Fortunately mostpeople through the ages havefound that the moments .ofdoubt and bewildermentabout having children pale bycomparison to the pleasureand satisfaction of helpingthem grow.

BUT IF THE innocenceand vulneraiblity of childrencan call forth the best that isin the human spirit, they alsoseem capable by some strangeparadox of calling forth theworst as well. King Herodordered the slaughter of theinnocents because he thoughtone among them was athreat tohis sovereignty. In the movie,"The Night of the Hunter" aself-appointed man of thecloth pursues a murderouspath in pufsuite of. twochildren because he believesthey know the hiding place of

stolen money.A glimpse into the dual

personality of this charactercomes in an early scene inwhich we see his hands restingon his Lap—on four fingers ofone hand are printed theletters LOVE and on the otherthe letters HATE. One readsthat the leader of the People'sTemple first made his massivethreats when faced with theprospects of losing a child in acustody suit, and though onemay speculate that it was thesupposed threat to hisdomination rather than lovefor the child which motivatedhim, still the child became thefocus of his reaction.

Similarly, we are toldwhen' the leader of theSynanon cult in Californiafirst began to come apartpsychologically he ordered thewomen in the sect to haveabortions, and most complied.In both of these instances theforced breakup of marriagesand cruel treatment ofchildren paved the way for theeventual horrors. Add thesethe cases of "routine" childabuse and the evidenceabounds that illness of the

spirit, whether in individualsor society, often seems topossess a peculiar propensityfor striking out at the young.

What all of this suggestsat least to me is that there issomething about the fact ofchildren— having them,raising them, losing them orregaining them (The ProdigalSon)— that touchesprofoundly on the deepestwellsprings of the humanheart. And any activity withs u c h w i d e - r a n g i n gramifications deserves somevery personal thought.

IT'S PROBABLY truethat for every thousandpersons whose lives aretouched by a cult leader, thereare many thousands moreamong us whose decisions areinfluenced by magazine ar-ticles, newspaper columnists,television talk shows or theremarks of well meaningneighbors or parents.

This does not mean thateveryone should havechildren, much less that wemust be either all good or elsepsychotic . in, our attitudetowards them. Most of us fallsomewhere, in between.

PerfectRowers for Your Special Day

FLORISTFLOWERS & GIFTS

"Think of Flowers First"Broward 989-8981 Dade 625-9284 4400 Hollywood Blvd: 987-0525 (Dade: 620-0523)

6711 Red Road, Coral Gables: 665-9432

You never thought you'd lookso with it, feel so much at ease.

And yet you do! Maybe it's the wayAfter Six takes those light-weight worsteds, cuts them to

fit and then trims them so ele-gantly with satin and velvet. Or

maybe it's the way we help you/coordinate great new shirts and/velvetties. Or maybe it's how wev make renting so convenient. One.

thing's for sure-when you goformal After Six, it's pure pleasure.

IF YOU WANT IT RIGHTYOU'VE GOT TO GO TO Al'S

(See our ad, Back Page, this sectiojnV j

For YOUR Special occasion * 4400 Hollywood Blvd, Hollywood * Phone: 987-0350Miami, Florida /THE VOICE / Friday, February 23,1979 / Page

Psychological Preparation For MarriageBy WENDY SOMERVILLE

WALL

We received and excitingphone call several months ago.John, my husband's nephew,had become engaged toBarbara, a young womanwhose presence we had cometo expect at family functions.The two. have known eachother two years and theirengagement evoked ex-clamations of "It's abouttime" rather than suprise.However, our anticipationonly increased our pleasurebecause we all feel we knowthem well as a couple and thatthey are wonderfully suited toeach other, destined to aa happy marriage.

WHAT IMPRESSES memost is that John and Barbarahave made no such assump-tion. Oh, of course, theybelieve they will have a happymarriage or they wouldn't be

contracting it, but they don'tbelieve it will happen justbecause they appear to be anideal couple, well matched infamily background, religionand education. They havebeen working on theirrelationship as it mightdevelop in marriage ever sincea midnight champagne break-fast more than a year agowhen they acknowledged toone another that their caringwent beyond casual goodtimes.

"Thank goodness ,"Barbara confided to me, "thatwe have really learned a lotabout each other before thisengagement business. Wescarcely have time now to doanything but get ready for thewedding and I don't thinkeither of us is really ourself."

Dops. Even the mostsensible people manage to getflustered by all the protocolsurrounding a wedding. In

their case, with two large andsentimental families tosatisfy, they have plungedinto activities which their ownmodest inclinations mighthave avoided. Theengagement period becomesobsessed with "things."Parties, gifts, clothes, in-vitations, music, food,flowers, the license, travelplans, furnishing an apart-ment— all these trappingsconspire to keep a couplepreoccupied with "how" theyare doing the wedding ratherthan "what" they are doingand "why " they are doing it.

Fortunately John andBarbara recognized what washappening and providedthemselves with two waystations, two checks on therollercoaster ride to the churchand reception. First, theyelected to work with theirpriest in developing aceremony, carefully reading

the liturgy and selectingreadings that best reflectthem. They plan to add one ortwo personal notes and indiscussing what they want tosay and they have had topause and consider their ownand each other's personalityand values.

BARBARA WASchagrined that some of theBiblical passages that at-tracted John were far fromappealing to her: such as thepossible reading from Peteiabout Sarah who called herhusband "master" John saidhe was just kidding, but theyhad a lively discussion.

Second, while attendingthe requisite pre-Cana con-ference they met a mostenthusiastic married couplewho encouraged them to makeand engagement retreat, a

format similar to MarriageEncounter. Although findingtime was very difficult, theysaw enormous value in givingthemselves a day withoutdistractions when they couldconcentrate solely on theirown feelings and the mysteryof the covenant they are aboutto make with one another.

"There was a recurrenttheme among the marriedpeople who spoke to us,"Barbara told me, "and thatwas no matter how well youthink you know one anotherbefore marriage, there will besurprises. John and I wereable to explore some of thepossible areas of surprise andwere made aware that pitfallswe thoughtt might apply onlyto 'them' actually applied tous."

With That Great Aroma of Genuine Leather

I .if1n.">' Continentali.-.o-tone leather

card carrierand billfold ($59)

with key case ($19.50)to match.

The brown lizard of Spainhas a many-Splendoredskin. And this rarehandbag, 12" x 9" x4",is fully lined insoft, supple pigskinA grand tror°^<"'igift: $200.

ATTACHESLUGGAGEHANOBAGSFINE GIFTSLEATHER GOODSDESK ACCESSORIESTRAVEL ACCESSORIES

FREEG o U S t m p n g•no Engrawnyv. I....

a store full ofle groom, too!

When you think of leather, think of

Leather WorldCORAL GABLES339 Miracle Mile

'446-7888

199 EAST FLAGLERCorner 2nd Avenue

377-9084

Page 4A I Miami, Florida / THE VOICE / Friday, February 23, 1979

Compatibility Does CountBy EILEEN AND DAN

MORRIS

Pam's eyes narrowed andshe glared at her fiance, Gary."You mean you'd spank a 15-year-old daughter with ahairbrush if she came in latefrom a date? I can't believethat."

Gary was taken aback."You bet I would," he said."Teen-age kids have got toknow who's boss."

"WELL, LET me tellyou right now you'd neverspank our kids like that —ifand when we ever have any,"she said. Tears were beginningto well up in her eyes and hervoice was getting shaky.

Gary and Pam hadknown each other since gradeschool, although they reallyhadn't started dating untiltheir junior year in highschool.

On graduation from highschool, Gary went off to thestate university. Pam enrolledin a local trade school and wasworking a s a dental assistantby the time Gary returnedfrom his frist year of college.It was about that time theydecided they ought to getmarried.

An yet, in all the timethey had known each otherthey obviously had not talkedmuch about child rearing. Atleast not realistically, or indetail.

PAM AND GARY'Srather explosive conversationcame out during a Pre-Canaweekend. While the Pre-Canaprogram provides material onfinances, sexuality, thesacraments, etc., its un-derlying goal is com-munication.

And the flip-side ofcommunication is com-patibility.

Our experience as a hostcouple on these retreat-likeweekends for young couplesconsidering marriage is that"compatibility confrontation"like Gary and Pam's are notuncommon.

Common sense tells usthat few marriages would takeplace (and fewer yet last) ifcomplete compatibility were apre-requisite. Yet, experiencetells us that common valuesand goals— and a com-mitment to keep clarifyingthem for one another— are thekeel of a lasting marriage.

YET, A surprisingnumber of the intelligent,dedicated young persons wehave met during Pre-Canaweekends have onlypassinglydiscussed the nitty-gritty "little things" ofeveryday life that can make orbreak a marriage.

For example: Who will beresponsible for whathousehold duties? Who takesout the garbage, washes thecar, does the dishes, preparesmeals, grocery shops, planmenus, cleans the over, etc.?

Who decides how moneywill be spent? Should youhave joint or separatechecking accounts? Do you

like to use credit cards? Whichshould have priority— a newset of golf clubs, a mini-vacation weekend, or along standing bill with theservice station?

Should a husband beallowed to spend a night outwith "the boys"? Under whatconditions? What about thewife and "the girls"?

HOW DO YOU feelabout charity? Should yougive $5 per week no matterhow large or small your in-come? Should you tithe?Should you support theparish, the Catholic school,the missions, a friend on hardtimes?

Personal hygiene andhabits are areas couplesshould not ignore. What youfind "cute" now can becomeembarrasing or even repulsiveafter a few months ofmarriage. Even little thingslike picking teeth with atoothpick, "snorting" whenlaughing, leaving the cap offthe toothpaste.

other for years and assumethey know one another insideand out are surprised at howdifferent their answers are tospecific questions on raisingchildren.

How should youdiscipline children? Sit themin a corner? Talk to them?Remove privileges? Spankthem? If you do spank, whodoes the spanking?Mom?Dad?Both? With what? Howseverely? For what misdeeds?Lying, stealing, spilling aglass of milk?

What would yourreaction be if your 16-year-olddaughter came home and toldyou that she had been in-volved with heavy pettingwith her boyfriend? Whatwould your reaction be if yourson told you the same thing?

WHAT IS THE rightage to begin conveying thebiological facts of life? Shouldparents go unclothed aroundtheir children?

.{'

Whereas these mightsound like little things— andthey are— they all fit into themosiac of a marriagerelationship, and when toomany pieces don't fit, troublecan follow.

What about religion? Ifyou are Catholic and yourspouse is not, are you con-fident your beliefs will berespected and honored? Andthe reverse: Do you feelcomfortable with your fiance'sbeliefs, or do you secretly scoffat them? What are thelong—range implications—foryou, your children, yourrelationships with oneanother's families?

ONE OF THE mostexplosive areas we have seenyoung engaged couples en-counter is childbearing andrearing.

Like Pam and Gary,couples who have known each

Should your child bedirected into music lessons,dance, drama, Little League?At what age should they beallowed to decide these thingson their own?

Again, common sensetells us there are many an-swers for all these questions—as many answers as there areparents and children. Theissue is not so much whetherone answer might be betterthan another, but that toowide a disparity betweenparents on how a child is to beraised can cause festeringcancers in a marriage and evenscar children.

By the way, Gary andPam were married and aredoing fine. They learned thatcompatibility does not meanone spouse needs to be apsychological, social andreligious carbon copy of theother. They learned thatcommunication is the flip-sideof compatibility.

For Wedding Perfection

Proudly PresentsThe Royale

and Versailles by

afterFORMALS4 % • FORM/

SixThe groom ... resplendent in the Royale, a tone-on-tone peak lapel formal with touches of satin. The bestman ... compliments him in his co-ordinatingVersailles, a velvet trimmed formal with contrastingvest and pants.

Both available in a symphony of spring shades toco-ordinate with your very special color scheme.

Stop in tomorrow to see our complete collection offormal attire by After Six and featuring the latest stylesfor the entire wedding party.

Rent it, the convenient way at

Florida's Oldest & Largest-Proudly serving South Florida's most elegantly

attired grooms for more than 30 years.

ASK ACE FOR A NEW FREE COLOR BROCHUREILLUSTRATING ALL

THE NEWEST FORMAL STYLES.

ACE FORMAL WEAR, INC

1125 West Flagler Street, MiamiMain Office & Plant

For further information, ca'l:

Dade Broward Palm Beach545-5621 763-1740 391-0341

ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS HONOREDNine Stores in Dade, Broward & Palm Beach Counties.

Miami, Florida / THE VOICE I Friday, February 23,1979 / Page 5A

Will You Succeed As A Team?By LOUISE SHANAHAN

Success in marriage is ateam endeavor. From the firstmoment of consummation,when the husband and wifeare dazzled by a sense ofeuphoria, to that closingmoment of life, "until deathdo us part," it is the teamapproach which characterizesa truly Christian marriage.

There are four areas ofmarried life where this at-titude must prevail in orderfor husband and wife toachieve true fulfillment.

S T . T H O M A SAQUINAS tells us thatmarriage is "an inseparableunion of minds by whicheither is unalterably plightedto serve the other loyally." Hegoes on to remind husbandand wife that one of the endsof marriage is the begettingand rearing of children. Whyshould this task appear totake priority over other goalsin marriage? Perhaps intoday's life styles it con-stitutes a reminder of God'splan instead of current secularthinking which regards

children as a "burden" or"obstacle" to self-fulfillment.

However, it is by meansof the privilege of parenthoodthat most husbands and wiveslearn to work together har-moniously. They grow inproportion to the extent thatthey learn to give to theirchildren. In contrast toc o n t e m p o r a r y secu la rthinking, the Christianhusband and wife go beyondthe narrow sel-centeredness ofprevailing notions of"fulfillment" to an acceptanceof God's will for them. This

spiritual comprehension thusis the vehicle by which eachsupports the other.

The career goals of thewife is another area whereteam effort is important. Thismeans that the younghusband (in contrast to hisfather's generation) must beprepared to encourage andcooperate with his wife'sdesires to utilize her talentsand abilities in a manner thatwill be rewarding to her solong as the marriage andfamily life are not jeopardized.

Therefore, a man should

"BACK IN 1953, OUR BIGGEST BANKING PROBLEMWAS GETTING A LOAN TO TAKE A HONEYMOON TRIP

AROUND FLORIDA?ife

"Now we're borrowing moneyfor a second honeymoon trip aroundthe world.

Ever since our first vacation loanwith Flagship, we've called on them todo more and more for us. From loansand checking and savings to settingup a trust account for tomorrow we canlive with today.

And each time, they've delivered.^ We've been with Flagship for 25 yearsnow. And the honeymoon still isn't over."

Q FIAGSHIP BANK" ^ ^ ALLTHE BANK YOU'LL EVER MEED SM

Flagship Banks Inc. 1978 Equal Opportunity Lender

understand, before marriage,exactly what yearnings andaspirations of his bride-to-beare in the world of work. Ofcourse, this reciprocity mustwork both ways. A wife will doher share to help her husbandachieve the success andrecognition he desires. Onlywhen there is genuine un-derstanding and mutuality ofgoals can husband and wifesucceed in this sphere asauthentic partners.

A THIRD AREA ofsignificance is the develop-ment of individual per-sonalities within the contextof their marriage. Here againhusband and wife need to besensitive to the abilites andinterests of the mate as aunique human being.

This means that everyhusband and wife shouldhave some privacy, someindependent "growing space"which her or his spouse en-courages. If there is resent-ment or possessiveness,conflict and tension arise, andthe husband and wife are nolonger working as a team.Each mate needs to realizethat this kind of freedom togrow within the marriagetruly enhances the joy ofgenuine marital partnership.

Finally, the team en-deavor is nowhere moreevident than in the sexualrelationship of husband andwife wherein they are theirmost intimate selves revealingimperfections, needs,capacity to love mingled withthe need to be loved.

This sexual unity, basedon mutuality, is the foun-dation -of their human hap-piness, and each mate leadsthe other step by step,figuratively speaking,through the years of spiritualgrowth, based on all of theunforeseen life experiencesthey will encounter, to theirultimate eternal destiny.

WHEN HUSBAND andwife are convinced that a teameffort, in these four areas oflife (instead of a dominant-submissive relationshipconstitutes the path toauthentic marital happiness,then they will be motivated tolive their lives in accord withthe concept of indissolubilitywhich is the essence ofChristian marriage.

CATERINGIN YOUR HOME OR

PUCE OF BUSINESS—AMERICAN AND

* CANTONESE—* BY THE

HARRIS

IMPERIAL HOUSENorth Ocean Drive at Atlantic Blvdm Pompano Beach • ?h 941-2200

Page 6A I Miami, Florida I THE VOICE / Friday, February 23, 1979

Married Women And Their CareersBy JANNA AVALON

Statistics show us thatabout 50 percent of all marriedwomen in the United Stateswork outside the home. Thesewomen face a rewarding lifestyle, but not without itsproblems.

The working mothermust decide how she can be agood person, a good wife and agood mother— all at the sametime. Sometimes it isn't easy,but it is possible.

NOT ONLY must sheknow her needs anddispositions but also those ofher husband and children.Once she and her husbandhave decided that she willwork outside the home, thenit's important that she ishappy with that decision andthat she pursues her life withvigor.

Time is a preciouscommodity for the workingwife.

Daily she must strugglewith lots of how-to's — how toenrich her love relationshipwith her husband, how to raisehealthy, well-roundedchildren, how to maintain afulfilling career, how tocoordinate at-home chores,how to squeeze in a little timefor herself, how to keepabreast of the changing paceof today's society.

Dozens of magazinearticles in recent months havefocused on working womenand how they cope with theirjobs and families. The bestadvice I've read is "Don't Tryto Be a Superwoman." Admityou can't do everything anddon't feel guilty when youhave to say no. Learn to shareresponsibilities at home. Thismay take a change in at-titudes.

WIVES AND theirhusbands need to look at their

life styles and decide what'simportant and then setrealistic values and goals.Making a list of duties andresponsibilities and who willtake care of them may behelpful.

In our efforts at creatinga harmonious environment,my husband, Billy, and I havefound that communication isof the utmost importance.Feelings and needs must beexpressed and understood,otherwise explosive situationsoccur and someone is hurt,frustrated or left feeling guiltybecause they failed to per-form.

Both of our jobs are verydemanding—he's a teacherand coach, and I'm editor of aweekly newspaper. Our timetogether is often limited sowe're learning to concentrateon the quality of our sharedactivities and not thequantity.

Sometimes a hug or asimple gesture of un-derstanding can mean thedifference between anargument or a pleasant dinnertogether.

OUR JOBS can also helpus retain vitality in ourrelationship— we always have,something new to talk aboutand we're constantlychallenged to better ourselveswhich rubs off on ourrelationship.

Our concern with thequality of our time also affectsour relationship with our 21-month-old daughter, Keisha.We feel she is loved and wellcared for at the day carecenter she attends. Our job onthe evenings and weekends isto share ourselves with herand pursue our parentingroles.

Keisha is up later thanmost children her age becauseif she wasn't, we wouldn't see

Choose from a Select Line of

WEDDING INVITATIONS& ANNOUNCEMENTS

THERMOGRAVED - 2 Week ServicePRINTED-3 DAY SERVICE

PersonalizedWEDDING ACCESSORIES• Napkins • Place Cards • Match Books, etc.

FREE GIFT of a Personalized Cake Knifewith all orders over $100.

Friendly Courteous ServiceReasonable Prices

^ORAL CABLES I RIIMTIIMGSERVICE INC.

208 ALMERIA • CORAL GABLESPhill Brodeur 448-5350 Habla Espanol

her. She catches up on theweekends by sleeping late likewe do. She's bright, in-dependent and enjoys beingaround people. She knowswhen its "her" time withdaddy and mommy and sheenjoys it.

However, we mustremember that nothing worksthe same for every couple.Each wife and husband must

research and experiment tofind a livable life style to suitetheir needs.

MY HUSBANDdeveloped a motto for hisgirls' basketball team —Success equals Organization,Attitude and Pride (SOAP). Ithink the same motto could beused by couples who bothwork outside the home.

As I said earlier,sometimes it isn't easy being aworking wife and mother. Attimes it 's just plainfrustrating. Like many of thegood things in life, the factthat something is easy hasvery little to do with the factthat it's satisfying. Being asuccessful wife, mother andcareer woman has its demandsand its rewards.

if you're dreaming aboutyour wedding gown,

come to Jordan marshSee contemporary and traditionalgowns for memorable weddings.

Here, a gown that dreams aremade of from our collection. By

Milady with Alencon lace bodiceand sleeves, and pleated chiffon

skirt with matching mantilla. Ivory orwhite. Gown, $300. Mantilla, $135

Bridal Salon, omni, dadeland,fort lauderdale, west palm beach

lOfdani-rnarsn

OMNI 1501 Biscayne Blvd 3771911 « DADELAND Kendall D< e PHOLLYWOOD Fashion Cenle. 066-3000 • BROWARD MALL B.o-ord BFORT LAUDERDALE Sunnse Snooping Ceniei 565 33.14 . POMPANO (a

5- 163RD ST Shopping Cl' N Miami Beach 91451612 8211 • LAUDERHIU_MALL_Hw»_441 Kio,m ol Sunns.e 7

666 6565 •. . . __• 792 5200

1 N i 23'CJ St 946-3000 • WEST P A L M BEACH Polm Beoch Moll 683-4000

Miami, Florida / THE VOICE / Friday, February 23, 1979 / Page 7A

Con I Learn To Love?By BERYL NEWMAN

Once when Jesus camedown from the mountainwhere he had been praying,the apostles said, "Teach ushow to pray." He looked atthem, knowing that no mancan teach another how topray, but he gave them wordsto say, so that with repetitionthe sense of them might sinkinto their hearts and theywould begin to pray.

It is the same with love.We may approach a lovingperson and ask "How can Ilearn to love?" and he or shewould know that no one canreally teach another to love.Hopefully that person wouldoffer some ways to expresslove, believing that withpractice they may becomepart of us and we would beginto love.

PRAYER AND love areso allied that they flowtogether. Our capacity forprayer reflects our capacityfor loving and the depth of ourprayer is the measure of ourloving. Both stem from onesource— and act of will.

I used to argue againstthat. To speak of prayer andlove in terms of an act of willseemed to cold, too detached.But love and prayer do notcome upon us unawares.Before we can pray, we mustwill to pray. Before we canlove, we must will to love.

Nor is it as simple as itsounds, for we approach bothwith contradition in ourhearts. We would love to praydeeply, ecstatically, perhapseven to levitate a trifle, butare loathe to compromise ourautonomy. After all, whoknows if God is really willingto do our will?

We pray desperately tolove and be loved but areafraid to risk vulnerability. Ifwe love and are hurt— if welove and are rejected, whatthen ? We have to be lesscareful of ourselves and moreconcerned for others if we areto become lovers and prayers.

IT IS FIRST of allnecessary to accept thatloving is its own reward andhas an intrinsic value that hasnothing to do with someoneelse's response or lack of it.

If we really desire to love,the first step is a declarationof intent, to ourselves andbefore God. "I will be a lovingperson. I will love" at allcosts." The next step is to armoneself with a few tools tostart working with.

. A married woman wascomplaining once to Godabout her unhappy marriageand informing him how dif-ficult it was for her to love herhusband. "You know what heis like" she said, "he is simplynot lovable. No one could lovehim."

"I love him" The wordsleapt in her mind. Startled bywhat seemed to be a divinecommunication, she hedged,"Well, I cannot promise tolove, but I'll do my best. I willbe kind and considerate. I willbe forgiving and I will pray forhim."

BY "DOING her best"with these tools of love, shediscovered that the unlovablewas in fact lovable and thelove she would not guaranteewas in time guaranteed. Wecannot all afford to count on apersonal admonition from Godbefore we begin to work at

THE M I IS<M i l l

IN ALL M l

. . . on the most romanticday . . . your wedding day.You are cordially invited

to visit our BridalDepartment, and let us

assist you with allyour Wedding plans. Alovely bridal gown foryou, gowns for yourbridesmaids, Mother-Of-the-bride, Motherof the groom. Wealso have everythingyou need for a' dreamy trousseau.

Call 943-2571 nowfor an appointment.

Bridal S a l o n . . . 301 E. Atlantic Blvd., Pompano Beach

.*Vj

m•3 '

' • r •: .

loving, but we can take it forgranted that if it were forth-coming it would be in thosesame words. "I love him" orher.

No one is unlovable. Ifthey were then God would notlove them and they wouldcease to exist, for only his lovesustains us in existence.Somewhere in each of us thespark of divine love glows,waiting our will to fan it intoflame.

If we do not love someone,the fault is not theirs but ours.This is the first tool for forginglove— to realize that none butus is responsible for ourunlovingness. We love or donot love as we will.

We have the power to bekind even to those who areunkind to us; to be generouseven to those who are mean tous; to be fair and just even tothe vindictive; to forgive eventhe unforgiving; to love eventhe unloving. We alone holdthe power to choose whetheror not we put it into effect.

WHEN WE ARE in-

secure and jealous of our self-esteem, as alas, we so oftenare, we become mortally afraidof exposing ourselves to thechance of hurt. Often it seemsimpossible to take that firststep towards loving, so boundare we by fears andinhibitions. Then we need tobe guided and drawn into love.We need some one to whom wecan turn and ask for help. Andsomeone is always available.

I suppose even the mostwilling of us never truly learnto love until we come to knowthe quality of God's love andto accept that it is neverfailing, always forgiving,never rejecting. He loveswithout defenses in anoverpowering vulnerability ancontinues to love throughabuse and indifference andhostility.

This is what it means tolove as the Father loves. Ithink that only as we un-derstand the nature of his lovedoes love become imperativefor us and the world well lostfor it.

Blessing of rings

rich in symbolism"Bless O Lord, this ring, which we are blessing in Thy

name, so that he-she who wears it, keeping faith with his-herspouse in unbroken loyalty, may ever remain at peace withThee, obedient to Thy will, and may live with him-her alwaysin mutual love, through Christ our Lord."

This blessing is from the Roman Ritual of the weddingceremony.

Even the way a wedding ring is placed on the finger hasa symbolic meaning. Properly in the ceremony, the thumb,index and third fingers are supposed to represent the Trinity.As the groom begins to place the ring on the bride's finger,he first touches the ring to her left thumb and says, "In theName of the Father," then touching the index finger, hesays, "and of the Son," and touching the third finger withthe ring, he says, "and the Holy Spirit."

He then places the ring on the bride's fourth finger andsays, "Take and wear this ring as a pledge of my fidelity."

*U>SUPCR0 FACtUTIW

Km aROUM or UPTO 400 - M O M

US TODAY FORMtPOMMVTtOfi

HARRIS

IMPERIAL HOUSENorth Ocean Drive »l Atlantic BoulevardFompino tMCh. floridi • Ph. M1-2200 885-8495

Page 8A I Miami, Florida/ THE VOICE / Friday, February 23, 1979

Maturity And MarriageBy EUGENE J. and

CATHERINEAMBROSIANO FISHER

In Jewish weddings, atthe high point of the ritual, awine glass is placed under thefoot of the groom - to becrushed into fragments.

Theologically, this is asymbolic reminder to thecommunity, at the moment ofgreatest joy, of the destructionof the Jerusalem Temple. Itreminds all present that theworld is not whole, that thereis starkness and im-permanence in all living, justas there is joy and hopeduring the worst of times.

THE SHATTEREDWINE glass, mingling painand beauty, is a good place tobegin our brief reflection onmaturity and marriage. Formaturity is not simply beinggrown up. It is beingresponsible for one's self and

the consequences of one'sactions. More, it is a matter ofopenness and security:openness to the needs of theother and the security withinoneself necessary to enableone to admit his or her ownneeds to the other, and thusto, share and communicatethat which is most important.

None of us ever, really,totally, "grow up." Part of us,if we are at all human, remainsthe child; quick to sense hurtand burst into anger. Theability to be hurt stems fromthe need and the insecuritythat is within us. We need tobe loved, to be constantlyreaffirmed, to be assured thatthose we need love and respectus for what we are. "Look,Mom. See how I can swim."

One cannot reaffirmanother unless one has a firmsense of one self, a sense thatis in its own turn constantly inneed of reaffirmation.

Marriage, then, which is

the deepest and best of allhuman relationships, is aspiralling affair. First onegives, then the other. Andbased on that giving, and thetrust built up by the ad-mission of need, the othergives back hope and trust. Soit grows, upward and inward,a double helix of mutualsupport.

MATURITY IS thus notsomething one has, but awillingness to risk in-tertwining one's own self-understanding with that ofanother human being. Key tothe process, of course, aresuch concepts as com-munication and respect..Without the respect for theother, for his or her abilitesand promise, there can be nocommunication.

Without communication,that is without a constantsharing back and forth offeelings and ideas, there is norelationship. The marriage isno longer the intertwining ofrising spirals. It is flattenedinto two parallel lines, doomedto coexist without evertouching.

Out of all of this flowssome practical questions, as asort of test of their "maturityquotient."

• How do you view yourpartner, as a friend or lover?(A. Both. If you are notmarrying your best friend,what basis will you have forsharing? And if your spouse isnot your lover...)

t In your relationship, doyou find that one is often "up"and the other "down?" (A.You should. There is analternate relationship ofsupport, depending on need.One partner, with lesser needat the moment often has to

Why Is There Marriage?By MITCHEL B. FINLEY

In one of his routines,comedian Bill Cosby asks thequestion,, "Why is there air?"His reply is that there is air toblow up basketballs andfootballs with. A crazyquestion receives a zanyresponse.

I may ask the question,"Why is there marriage?" andbe accused of asking anequally crazy question. Butthis inquiry leads to avaluable insight into thepurpose of Christian marriage.

FIRST, THERE areanswers to this questionwhich are perfectly valid andpart of any truly humanunderstanding of marriagetoday. There is marriage toprovide women and men withways in which to seek a deeplyintimate life-long relationshipwith another; to provide, anappropriate context for thesexual expression of love; tofurnish a home for the nurtureof children; etc.

But from the Christianperspective, marriage and

children may be understood asoccasions through which Godour Father leads us towardgrowth in "that mind whichwas in Christ Jesus" (St.Paul). Falling in love,marrying, and bringing upchildren are demanding callsto "unself" ourselves, to growaway from fear into greatertrust.

There is marriage in orderto bring men and women morefully into the death andresurrection which is theessence of every day life inChrist.

Like all Christianvocations, marriage is a wayof becoming a servant, ofbeing involved in service toGod's people. It is also a wayof growing in the ability totrust completely in theFather's love and care for us.

BY TRUSTING in thelove of one's spouse and bybeing trustworthy oneself,married Christians faithfullyfulfill their baptismalpromises.

Being parents is yetanother way we are called to

be authentic Christians. Anyparent knows that childrenmake demands on parentalresources that are terrific. Tocrawl out of bed for the 2 a.m.feeding, or whatever it maybe, is simply one of a millionways married Christians arecalled to be the Lord's totallyunselfish love for children.Children learn much aboutGod from the ways we loveand care for them .

Why is there marriage?For Christians, there ismarriage because of our needto become more loving people,more faithful carriers of thepresence of Jesus the Lord.

RITAKBUKSTELPERSONALIZED RVPETRIES

elegant personalized paperfor every occasion

you are invited to select

WEDDING INVITATIONSPersonalized Service

since 19S4

808 Northeast 125th StreetNorth Miami, Florida 33161

(305) 688-4886

submerge his or her ownanxieties to offer comfort andsolace to the other. It is whenboth are "down " at the sametime that sparks can fly.)

• Do you at times findyourself apologizing to theother for real or imaginedhurts or wrongs done? (A.Again, you should. Love ishaving to say you're sorry.Pride in being "right" blocks

reconciliation and renewal, theheart of love.)

• Does marriage demandsacrifice for the other person?(A. This is a tricky one. Itdemands giving. But since theother is seen as part of oneself,it is not really "sacrifice" inthe negative sense., It 'sfacing, together, the dif-ficulties of . loving andgrowing. It's fun.)

Bridal sets indiamonds and j

from Mavo!>>!

The perfect way to markthis solemn yet joyous time,

to sodl your vows fittingly andtruly, is with the eternal

symbols of permanence1 andfidelity.. .diamonds and gold.

Tho iinsurpaE-si'd collectionof bridal .sots at Mayor's,in styles from traditional

to contemporary, will enableyou to match prvcisdy

your expression of low...A. Bridal trio in 14K yellow

gold,$J,095. B. WKyeUowgoldring ivith diamond.-, $1,250.C. Bridal trio in 14K yellow

gold, $850. D. 14Kgoldsingle diamond engagerm-nt

rings... Vt ft., $795. »A ct., $995.Vzct., $1,695. **ct., $1,995.1 ct., $3,895.

(Matching wedding bands nvailabie)

Fine Jewfiers since 1910Miami: Two Stores in Omni International—Major's &

Mayor's H-Both in Lower Mai!*• naileland Mall* • Wustland Mall* • 163rd St. Shopping Center*

Coral Gables: 370 Miracle MileFt. Lauderdaie: 2455* East Sunrise Boulevard

Plantation: Broward Mail* Pompano Fashion Square*Hollywood Mall'

*Op«sn Sundaja and EveningsWe Welcome The American Express Card

Miami, Florida I THE VOICE / Friday, February 23, 1979 I Page 9A

Is It Harder To Stay Married?By RUSSELL SHAW

Not long ago a friend ofmine studied the cover of aCatholic magazine pluggingan article on "intolerable"marriages, then deliveredhimself of the followingoutburst.

"What marriage isn'tintolerable? Mine ha been onthe rocks for 20 years — andthat's as long as I've beenmarried. My wife is a verydifficult person to get alongwith, and she thinks I'mimpossible. But we're veryhappy.

"INTOLERABLE"marriage? That kind of stuffcan only be written bysomebody who isn't married."

He was exaggerating ofcourse. There are humanrelat ionships, includingmarital ones, to which theword "intolerable" can rightlybe applied. It belittles seriousproblems to suggest other-wise.

But, allowing forexaggeration, my friend had apoint. Too much well in-

tentioned agonizing about thedifficulties of marriage helps,paradoxically, to makemarriage more difficult.

The factual evidence thatmarriage is in trouble is, quitesimply, overhwelming.

THERE ARE now abouta million divorces a year in theUnited States. If trendscontinue, about two out ofevery five marriages involvingyoung women now in their late20s will end in divorce.

One-third of all Americanchildren do not live with theirown, once-married parents.There are close to 2.5 millionone-parent families.

The rate of pre-maritalsex runs as high as 81 forfemales and 95 for males.Extra-marital sex is reportedby about half of all males andone woman in five. A growingnumber of men and women areliving together without beingmarried.

People who cautionagainst taking an alarmistview are right up to a point —marriage in the United Statesisn't about to disappear. But

PUTA LITTLE LOVE

AWAY.

Tomorrow's dreams can come true.For her and for you. But only if you plan

for them today.A savings account at the Republic

National Bank can be part of that plan.All you have to do is put aside something

from every paycheck.You can deposit a lump sum (perhaps

a wedding gift) in a wide range of savingscertificates or in a regular savings account.

Don't put it off. Put a little love awayAt the Republic National Bank.

REPUBLIC NATIONAL BANK OF MIAMITHE HOME OF CLOSE PERSONAL BANKING

- • LE JEUNE ROAD AND FLAGLER STREETMIAMI. FLORIDA 33126

TEL. 446-1931MF.MBKR K I) I C

it is also true that maritalstability has been seriouslyundermined.

ALTHOUGH THEproblem is universal in theU.S., it has special im-plications for religious groupsand specifically for Catholics.

V e t e r a n f a m i l ysociologist John L. Thomas,S.J., remarks that "the ac-ceptance of the pathological asnormal" makes it "difficult fora religious minority tomaintain its family values."Where such practices asdivorce, pre-marital and extra-marital sex, and abortion aretaken more or less for granted,it is hard for Catholics andothers to insist that thesethings are wrong and must beresisted.

This has implications notjust for large groups of people— "Catholics and others" —but for individuals. People arethe bottom line forsociological trends. Andpeople are hurting because ofthe general decline in maritalstability.

Quite obviously it isharder to stay married todaythan it used to be. Or moreaccurately perhaps, it is easierthan it used to be for marriedpeople to get un-married. Tosome extent, constant em-phasis on the problems ofmarriage has the character ofa sel-fulfilling prophecy.

MORE AND MOREpeople marry with the beliefthat marriage isn't for keepsand the awareness, amountingalmost to an expectation, thattheir marriage stands a goodchance of failing. Thatnaturally makes failure morelikely.

Success in marriage, likemost enterprises, does notoccur automatically. Onething essential to a successfulmarriage is a serious com-mitment to making it succeedin the face of predictable andinevitable difficulties. Bycontrast, the expectation offailure is a good guaranteethat failure will occur.

The pattern here iscircular. The expectation thatmarriages won't last con-tributes to marital failure.And failure reinforces theimpression that marriages arelikely not to last.

There was a serious pointunderlying my friend'soutburs t . Expectat ionscondition outcomes. Often thedifference between an "in-tolerable" marriage and a"tolerable" —even happy-one is subjective. It resides inthe attitudes of the marriedpartners themselves.

DO THEY assume thatmarriage is for keeps? Arethey willing to put up with the

frustration and disap-pointment present in anymarriage— indeed, in anyhuman relationship beyondthe most superficial ? Are theyprepared to work at makingmarriage succeed?

Or do they assume, on thecontrary, that it is as easy toget unmarried as it is to getmarried? Are they impatientwith disappointment andfrustration? Are they un-willing to put much effort intomaking a success of marriage?

The first set of attitudesadds up to a formula — solidthough by no means foolproof— for staying married. Thesecond constitutes aprescription for maritalfailure.

People who expectsuccess in marriage and whoare willing to work at it aremuch more likely to achieve itthan those who anticipatefailure. Unfortunately, thementality of marital failure isnow prevalent. That as muchas anything is making it hardto stay married today.

Charismatic PrayerBOCA RATONBoca Raton Prayer GroupFirst United Methodist ChurchMonday, 8:30p.m. 15.90%Bernard Lenahan (305) 427-6628

Handmaids of the Saviour Prayer groupPrivate HomeWednesday, 10 a.m., 50, 80%Mrs. Barbara Barrows 1305) 395-4698

FORT LAUDERDALEThe Way Prayer CommunitySt. Maurice Catholic ChurchWednesday. 8 p.m.. 30. 100%John Miller (305) 962-4013

HIALEAHPeace in Christ Prayer CommunitySt. John the Apostle SchoolWednesday, 8 p.m. 60. 95%Sam and Martha Hoyt (305) 887-4148

HOLLYWOODChaminade Community of FaithChaminade High SchoolTuesday. 8;30 p.m. 200 95%

J.E. McCauley (305) 523-3833

HOMESTEADSacred Heart Prayer GroupPatrina HallMonday 8 p.m.. 40, 95%Miriam Hallman (305) 248-7556

JUPITERCharismatic Outreach Prayer ProgramSan Dollar RestaurantSaturday (monthly) 9'30 a.m. 200, 50%Kathleen Lake (305) 746-0895

KEY LARGOTriune God Prayer GroupSan Pedro Catholic ChurchMonday 7:30 p.m. 30, 95%Mary Sena (305) 852-8062

KEY WESTLight of Christ Prayer GroupSt. Bede's ChurchRuesday. 8 p.m. 85 95%Nancy Cooper (305) 294-5581/294-1989

LANTANACommunity of the Lord's HouseCenacle Retreat HouseWednesday, 7:30 p.m. 75. 80%Sr. Agnes Forman (305) 582-2534

MIAMIAnima Christi Prayer GroupEpiphany Catholic ChurchWednesday. 7:30 p.m. 85, 90%Don Vizza (3051 661-5880

Barry Campus Prayer GroupLaVoieHallWednesday, 6:16 p.m. 15, 85%Sr. Judith Shield (305) 758-3392

Glory to God Prayer GroupSt. Vincent de Paul ChurchTuesday, 8 p.m. 80 98%Marie Cardet (305) 681-8318

, God's Circle of Love Prayer GroupPrivate HomeWednesday, 10 a.m., 10, 90%Mrs. Lucian Cantin (305) 665-2143

Morada del Espiritu Santo Prayer GroupAssumption Academy CafeteriaMonday. 8 p.m. 65. 95% SOlga Paris (305) 643-3791

Sopio del Espiritu SantoRectory of Our Lady of DivineProvidence Catholic ChurchFriday. 8:30 p.m., 10. 100% SMrs. Maria de la Cruz (305) 226-0533

NAPLESCommunity of the Living WordSt. Ann's Parish HallMonday, 7:30 p.m.. 45, 90%Theresa Davidsen (813) 642-5602

PEMBROKE PINESSt. Boniface Prayer GroupSt. Boniface ChurchFriday 7:30 p.m. 50. 90%M/M John Baldwin (305) 431-8862

STUARTCommunity of the Name of JesusHouse of PrayerThursday. 8 p.m.. 35 90%Paul J. Kohler (305) 287-1916

SUNRISEJesus is Lord Prayer GroupSt. Bernard CatholicXhurchMonday. 8 p.m. 200Father Michael Hourigan (305)741-7800

Page 10A / Miami, Florida I THE VOICE / Friday, February 23, 1979

Letter To Daughter After MarriageBy STEVE LANDREGAN

DEAR GENNY:Wedding days have a

way of becoming frenziedfinishes for two weeks ofplanning, conversations,fittings, showers, choices andthank you notes. That's ashame, because the greatdanger is that a man and awoman may come to viewtheir wedding day as the endof an ordeal instead of thebeginning of a journeytogether toward God.

The image of a marriageas a "journey together towardGod" is not original with me,but I believe it is a valid oneand a good basis forexamining what Christianmarriage is all about.

MARRIAGE IS ajourney, a particular part ofthe pilgrimage that all of usmust make as God's people.But it is special for you andall, because it is your journeyand because it is together.

Prior to your marriage,your life's journey has been inthe company of your parentsand brothers and sisters.Marriage changes all that.

Being together on thisjourney means more thansharing a commondestination, or even travellingin one another's company. Itmeans sharing the Journey socompletely that it in effectbecomes one'journey, not two.

Sharing is a word that isoverworked these days, likelove. Both have acquired"pop" meanings in ourculture, so it is important tounderstand just what theymean in terms of Christianmarriage.

THE KEY TO sharingand love for the Christian isunselfishness. It means areal willingness, even an

anxiety to put the feelings,needs and welfare of yourspouse before your own. Forus Jesus is the greatestexample of unselfishness, andtotal self-giving. Jesus livedhis life for others. He wastotally sensitive to others'feelings and wlefare andalways ready to reach out inhealing and forgiving love. Hehas been called, and correctlyso, "the man for others."

A husband must be aman. for his wife and a wifemust be a woman for herhusband. But their "forotherness" must have thesame root, the samemotivation as Jesus did. Jesuswas a man for others becausehe was first of all a man for theFather. His very humanitywas a response to the Father'shealing and forgiving love formen and women. A love sogreat that it brought aboutthe incarnation.

In the Hebrew scriptures,God's love is explained by thelove of the prophet Hosea forhis wife, Gomer. In spite ofGomer's unfaithfulness,desertion, and totaldebauchery, Hosea is everready to forgive and accepther back as his wife.

Hosea's love is comparedto God's love for his people. Itis a love that is unconditional,unselfish, neither expects nordemands anything in return,and is always ready to forgive.

ST. PAUL describes theattributes of such a love in hishymn of love in 1 Corinthians13. He writes, "Love ispatient; love is kind. Love isnot jealous, it does not put onairs, it is not snobbish. Love isnever rude, it is not self-seeking, it is no prone toanger; neither does it broodover injuries. Love does notrejoice in what is wrong but

WEDDING GOWNS « | ^ : g |by foremost American designers ^ V f ^ ^ '

or Created Especially for you by: <**>>

Specialist in allformalwear.

388 Miracle MileOpp. City Hall

Coral Gables 448-9532

rejoices with the truth. Thereis no limit to love's for-bearance, to its trust, its hope,its power to endure. Lovenever fails."

If you think that isimpossible, you are correct.For each of us as humanbeings living in a world thatpreches self-fulfillment, suchtoatl unselfishness is im-possible without the grace ofGod.

Your mother and I havebeen married 27 years. Therehave been many times that wehave fallen far short of totallyunselfish love, as you wellknow. Yet, we never lost sightof the reality that such love ispossibly withthe help of God'sgrace. And that is what hasenabled us to turn away fromour failures and resume ourjourney together to the Fatherconfident that we couldcomplete it because we didn'thave to do it alone.

That brings us back tothe journey that you and Alhave begun. The two of youare not alone on that journey.Your companion is Jesus, who

was the first to complete thejourney back to the Father.He blazed the path, he marksthe trail, he provides thestrength to persevere.

THE UNSELFISH loveyou share with each other onyour journey will become abeacon for others. It willencourage them to keeptrying, to clearly keep God asthe goal of their own journey.Your mutual love,strengthened by God's grace,will deepen and spread. Fromyour mutual unconditionallove you will learn to loveothers as the Father lovesthem and will in turn become

signs of his healing andforgiving love.

Two-and-one-half yearsago when you were marriedthese thoughts would havenot meant a great deal to you.Today, you know much moreabout love and sharing. Youhave learned through yourbeautiful child that sharinglove does not dissipate it butmakes it grow stronger. Fromyou, your son will learn of loveand sharing so that one day hewill be able to begin his ownjourney, a journey that wouldnever have begun withoutyour love.

pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssThe NEW

Volish-Mvnerican Glubof Hollywood

3861 Sterling Rd., across from Hollywood Hills High SchoolNow available for Weddings and other social affairs

with Seating Capacity of up to 456!Large Air Conditioned Banquet Room, with parquet dance floor.

For Info Call Juanita Czachowski 987-0662 orSteve Slinski 966-3545

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Remember this before you rent atuxedo for your wedding day.

The tuxedo is returnable. The day is not.

*

FORMALWEARCoral Gables

2610 Ponce de Leon444-4537

Robin O'Brien

Hialeah318 West 49 StreetPalm springs Mall

823-6261Kalpli Calante

Fort Lauderdale2652 E. Oakl. Pk. Blvd.

566-1073Lou Ginocehio

Miami, Florida/ THE VOICE / Friday, February 23, 1979 / Page 11A

What Is Christian Marriage Contract?By EON & ELSIE VAIL

Ron: I believe that aChristian Marriage Contractis like any other contractmade between two peoplewhether it is in business ormarriage. This agreement hasto be held up on both ends.

I know when I enteredinto marriage I made thatcontract with Elsie. Themarriage vows spell it out in ageneralized way, what isexpected of each party. I thinkthat a constant review of thecontract is necessary, for me,to see if I am holding up myend of the agreement. I thinka lot of marriages start outwith a lot of expectations.

I WONDER if the coupletruely understands thecontract they are making witheach other. I thought I did 23years ago. Yet looking back, Idon't remember talking overwith Elsie the finer details ofthe contract I was going tomake with her; what I call thefine print. I thought I knew all

there was about going into amarriage relationship. Myconcept was that I wouldplant a seed and it will growby itself without any care.

Like the parable of thesower, some seeds fall on thehard soil and come up fast,but they did not have roots sothey died. I thought my end ofthe contract was to be theprovider, I worked to supportthe family with every materialthing necessary. I neverlooked at my relationship withElsie in the areas of Love, Sex,and Intimacy. I thought theywould grow in time, as theyears passed by. I alsothought my end of the con-tract was being fulfilled, neverrealizing that there was moreto that contract, at that time.

Elsie: Reflecting back towhen I first entered ourmarriage, being very honest,marriage was applying for amarriage license, a legalobligation and then com-pleteing my obligation to theChurch and Family by ourMarriage Ceremony. My

fantasy was much like Ron's;we'd live happily ever after.There were no other referencesto challenge my fantasy otherthan my own family aridfriends. I could look at themand choose what I liked in

_ their relationship and discardwhat didn't suite me; Ithought!

Today, many Pastorsinvite couples, before they settheir marriage date, to

' Engaged Encounter or towork with a married couple. Ienvy these couples becausethey will have a broader viewand understanding of aMarriage Contract. ThankGod for the married couplesand clergy for sharingthemselves with EngagedCouples.

I HAD NO idea of thepowerful healing experienceswe were going to be called toshare together. Those ex-periences included differentstages both myself and Ronwould be going through. I canremember the helplessness Ifelt in the early years of our

Award WinningPHOTOGRAPHY BY GORT

(Wtewf)O/ta/ty and ClassicGORT PHOTO STUDIO, INC.

643-3433/643-3434

marriage when I dependedentirely on Ron to take care ofme. I remembered feelingindependent to the extent thatI wanted to do everythingmyself.

How I strived for in-terdependency where myrelationship with God andRon are growing each daywith a deeper intimacy andlove. A beautiful part in ourmarriage contract is that Ronhas shared these stages withme. We've experienced hurt,anger,competitiveness,and arestill able to work throughthese feelings and as a resultgrow closer. Our ChristianMarriage Contract hasbecome a symbol nurturedand loved by God as thecenter.

A-lot of tears, fears, andimpatient behavior willalways crop up between us.Hopefully we can improve indealing with them openly andconstructively. In fact, themore intimate I become withmyself, especially in prayer,the more open, loving, and

accepting I am towards Ron. Ican see before me a balancefalling into place in ourrelationship and in our family.This is a real blessing ofmatrimony, the ChristianMarriage Contract.

Often all of us need also,to seek outside help in ourjourney together. This can bea healing experience for thecouple, allowing them toreevaluate their marriagecontract, often unloadingthemselves of deep resentmentsand energizing them to love inthe reality of shared ChristianMarriage.

The couple, maturing inthemselves and the Lord, willbe able to be aware of thepresent, and look forward totheir future— TOGETHER.(Mr. & Mrs. Vail are membersof St. Paul the ApostleParish in Lighthouse Point,Florida. They providedirection for "Retorno", aspiritual experience formarried couples in conjuctionwith the Family EnrichmentCenter.)

WeddingMemories

IN CANDID ORFORMAL ALBUMS

^ . Xa.touxxe.tte.Owner & Photographer

LAWSON STUDIO

1503 East Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale 33301 * 463-5311

DESIGNER-MANUFACTURER

FINE JEWELRY

WATTY & SONHelio Cabrera 1225 East Las Olas Blvd.

Fort Lauderdale, Florida305/463-5668

Page 12A / Miami, Florida / THE VOICE I Friday, February 23,1979

THE PERFECTMARRIAGE.

YOU & A LUBYCHEVROLET.

9200 N.W.27 AVE.MIAMI, FLORIDA

696-1711 920-2177DADE BROWARD

Miami, Florida / THE VOICE I Friday, February 23, 1979 I Page 13A

Call To Be Heroic

•',<-:; • > • '

By MITCHEL B. FINLEY

Rosemary Haughtonsuggested in a recent essaythat married Christians arecalled to live out the role of"hero" in today's world, formarriage today demandscourage and love of heroicproportions. What, then, is aChristian marriage, and whatare its requirements in themodern world?

A marriage is Christianwhen a man and woman whoare Christians marry oneanother. In other words, whatmakes marriage Christian isbaptism, not matrimony. Thesacrament of matrimony isauthentic only whencelebrated by two who taketheir character as Christiansseriously and marry (ordevelop their marriage later)precisely as a way of givingform to their desire to put loveof God and neighbor first.

EVERYTHING THATis necesssary for a successfulmarriage in the secular sphereis also necessary for a goodmarriage between CatholicChristians. There must be a

certain level of personalmaturity, and a realisticknowledge of what marriageentails in the final decades ofthe 20th century.

There must be anawareness of the vast dif-ference between romanticinfatuation and the kind oflove that lasts. For com-mercial reasons we are oftentaught by our secular cultureto identify the love uponwhich happy marriages arebased with the kind of lovethat dreams are made of —the kind of love that weakensand dies in the face ofsacrifice, conflict or change.So prior to marriage a healthydistrust of one's feelings maybe in order, for what onethinks he or she is feeling maynot be real love at all.

Married Christ iansideally choose one another, atleast eventually, as much outof love of God as out of lovefor one another. Or, rather, intheir love for one another theydiscover the deep mystery ofthe God who is love.

Marriage for twoChristians is also a dedicationof themselves to one anotherthat will enable them to sayby the way they live thatGod's love is present in theworld — in their lifetogether— and is worthy oftotal trust. Married Christiansare challenged to live in such amanner that, in one way oranother, it will be evident thatthey live for God and neighborfirst.

IN HIS BOOK"Eruption to Hope," JeanVanier discusses thepossessive instinct that seemsto have such power over manyyoung couples as it emerges inthe early years of theirmarriages. Married Christiansare inspired by the Gospel toresist this culturally in-culcated instinct, to rejectdependence upon money,investments and insurancepolicies for emotional security.Permanent freedom fromfinancial anxieties is not seenas a good to pursue above all

else. Rather, renouncingmaterialistic values Christiansare called to seek ways ofliving marriage and family lifebased on enjoying and caringfor one another, for the never-ending pursuit of a moreaffluent way of life is thepursuit of an illusion.

After decades of makingdo with a spiritualityborrowed from religious or-ders, today many marriedChristians are pioneers in theformation of styles ofspirituality which emergefrom the very fabric ofmarriage itself. Various formsof prayer become both sourceand celebration of the love atthe heart of married life.

A Christian marriage willmake room not only for thejoy and challenge of children,but also for those with specialneeds outside the familycircle. For in the Christian lifethere is guilt-in orientationtowards caring in concreteways for the unfortunate andthe kicked-around. Whetherthrough designing ways tomake life more pleasant forelderly neighbors, adopting"hard-to-place" children, orthrough one of the thousandother possibilities for service,married Christians willrespond to the challenge of theGospel to love warmly thoselikely to be forgotten orignored.

Finally, Christianmarriage is a permanentcommitment to a changingsituation. It is a commitmentto a set of inter-personalprocesses that affect everyaspect of married life. Theways in which spouses shareemotionally, financially,sexually, and spiritually willalways be in-process.Likewise, the world in whichwe live is daily characterizedby social and cultural flux. Inthe midst of change, inresponse to God's constantlove, to strive to remain faith-ful in all respects to oneanother, "till death do uspart."

So muchthat's beautiful

comes from Ireland.Irish Cotfc^

My Irish

Fashions & Gifts for Man & WomanWaterford Crystal • Belleek • AynsleyChina • Linens • Tweeds • Aran KnitsHandcrafted Folkloric Products

Open 10-5:30 Mon. thru Sat.

3302 N.E 33rd StreetFort Lauderdate 33308

a

PPage 14A I Miami, Florida I THE VOICE I Friday, February 23,1979

What Is Wrong With Mixed Marriages?By REBECCA C. JONES

"Mixed marriages aren'tall bad," our pre-Vatican IIcatechism teacher used to say."Why I know of one thatworked out just fine."

And she told us aboutthat one.

THE BRIDE wasCatholic, whose mother hadwarned her about whathappens to nice Catholic girlswho marry Baptist boys.Mama said they put awaytheir rosaries, clean the tracesof Ash Wednesday from theirforeheads, and forget to go toMass on the holy days ofobligation. The next thing youknow, they're skippingSunday Mass and preparing

to spend eternity in a furnace.The young woman

promised Mama that hermixed marriage would bedifferent. She said the rosaryevery night and spingled holywater over their marriage bed.She went to Mass andreceived the sacraments asoften as she had before hermarriage. She kept on, evenwhen she became pregnantand had problems withmorning sickness at the earlyMass. The ushers were verykind about leading her to abathroom and finding a placefor her to lie down.

If anything, the usherswere too kind. At least that'swhat the Baptist husband

thought. He didn't like allthose ushers, especially theyoung ones, taking care of hiswife. He asked her to stayhome from church until aftertheir child was born. Sherefused.

The young man decidedthat if his wife insisted ongoing to Mass, the only thinghe could do was go with her.That would keep thosehandsome young ushers atbay.

HE WENT to Mass withher through the last months ofher pregnancy. After the babywas born, he kept on going.Finally, he converted to theCatholic faith.

Naturally, the baby grewup to be a priest. (How else

Should We Say ForeverSHOULD ANYONE

SAY FOREVER? by FatherJohn C. Haughey, S.J.,Doubleday, New York, 166pages. $6.95. Reviewed byJoseph R. Thomas.

It is a measure of the times,I suppose, that upon readingthe title the inclination is tosay to oneself: "Oh, oh.Another argument againstpermanency in religious lifeand marriage." Which provesthat the title —and also thesubtitle, "On Making,Keeping and BreakingCommitments"— is at leastprovocative, for FatherHaughey's aim is to examineand support promise-making,not undermine it.

He has written a deeplyphilosophical book, taking upthe notion of commitment,specifically the commitmentamong persons (among whomhe quite pointedly includesGod) in contemporary society.And it is his thesis that "asociety in which vows areabandoned, promises broken,,oaths disregarded and con-tracts violated cannot longendure."

AT THE SAME time, heis not unaware of the problemsinvolved in commitment-making, observing thatcountless lives have beenruined by perseverance to acommitment. However, henotes that this is so becausethe individual is "committedto a commitment" rather thanto the person. Surely most ofus can attest to the wisdom ofthis observation from thesocietal wreckage we haveseen around us.

Nevertheless, FatherHaughey does not invitedespair. Rather he suggestsan attempt at redirection inan effort to reinstate theinterpersonal relationship thatin most cases once existed.

In the process, he quitecapably links commitment totrue freedom in an age whenfreedom for some has come to •'mean a lack of commitment.

BY COMMITMENT,Father Haughey points outthat he means nothing less

than self-donation, which hedescribes as a process of"becoming" rather than of"being." In true commitment,which he sees as stemmingfrom and being continued bylove, the result is a com-munion.

A commitment whichdepends on societal or culturalpressure is not a commitmentat all, he argues, and as aconsequence divorce (forinstance) is more a problem ofsimulated commitment ratherthan true commitment. Thelatter he sees not as a once-forever promise but as acontinuity, demandingconstant renewal.

As examples of com-mitment, Father Haugheypoints out the relationship ofGod the Father to Son, andSon to Father. He cites NewT e s t a m e n t e x a m p l e s ,examining the commitmentsof Mary and of Paul theEvangelist to see what can begleaned from them.

THIS IS NOT an easybook to read, not because it 'sdifficult to understand butbecause it demands reflectionas part of the process ofassimilating the ideaspresented.

It is rewarding reading,however, and more than oncethe reader will come upshort against what issurely an expression of ob-vious truth even thoughfamiliarity may have con-spired to keep it hidden.

Certainly we can all givesome measure of assent to thenotion that "what peoplemean when they say 'I

promise' determines thequality of social existence."

We can agree, too, that"the problem with com-mitments is not so muchmaking them, but keepingthem."

would a pre-Vatican IIcatechism teacher's storyend?) And the priest alwaystold everyone that his fatherwas his first convert.

The moral of the teacher'sstory was obvious: The onlygood mixed marriage is onethat comes un-mixed.

Cathechism teacherstoday are telling a differentstory. In the first place, mixedmarriages no longer exist.They've become ecumenicalmarriages. And the change ismore than a matter ofsemantics.

IN THE OLD days ofmixed marriages, non-Catholics had to promise inwriting to raise their childrenCatholic. Their Catholicpartners were warned aboutthe dangers of linking up withan infidel and falling awayfrom the one true Church.Their marriage ceremonieshad to be performed in therectory, and a Nuptial Masswas out of the question.

Nuptial Masses are oftencelebrated for today'secumenical marriages. A non-Catholic minister may blessthe wedding couple, and thenon-Ca tho l i c p a r t n e rsometimes receives Com-munion.

The non-Catholic doesn'thave to promise anythingregarding the children. Onlythe Catholic partner mustpromise—and not in writing,whatever that signifies— totry to raise their childrenCatholic.

Many priests encourageecumenical couples to attendeach other's churches and

expose their children to bothfaiths. Some parishes havespecial services and activitiesplanned specifically forecumenical families. And evenif they don't, non-Catholicspouses are always welcome atMasses, parish bowlingleagues and church picnics.

AS A PRODUCT of amixed marriage and thepartner in an ecumenical one,I have no doubt that thechanges in the Church's at-titude toward interfaithmarriages are for the better.The emphasis has switchedfrom trying to convert non-Catholic spouses to trying tomake them feel welcome in aChristian community.

But the new emphasiscan be misleading. Manyyoung couples have taken theattitude that a religiousexperience isn't worth havingunless they can have ittogether. Sometimes theycome to church together, andsometimes they stay at hometogether.

It 's important toremember that some thingshaven't changed. Non-Catholics are still notCatholics, and they don't havethe same responsibilities asCatholics. It's unrealistic toexpect them to live up to allthe obligations of a religionthat isn't their own.

The Church encouragesecumenical couples to attendMass and participate in parishactivities together, but theydon't have to. Sometimes —many times— the Catholichalf of an ecumenical marriagejust has to march off to churchalone.

• V

Until youVe met with us you haven'tbeen catered to.

At Omni International Hotel, we offer the finest, most completeconvention, banquet and meeting facilities available—anywhere. Andwe serve you not as a group, but as a group of individuals. So that eachand every one of your associates and guests finds the meal a unique,memorable experience.

A catering executive will help you plan your meeting from start tofinish. Our maitre d' will pay strict attention to even the smallest detail.Our breads and pastries will be baked, by us, each morning. And we'llprepare special meals, sculptures and decorations for you.

So if you want to be catered to with the ultimate in service, atten-tion and meeting facilities, please call our catering director at 374-0000.

Omni International HotelMiami, Florida / THE VOICE I Friday, February 23, 1979 / Page 15A

Who Pays For What At Wedding?At last! Your little girl is

getting married! You havewaited for this moment fromthe minute she was born.

You can just picture her... a vision in white lace...let'ssee, you'll have a big churchwith the reception in Vizcaya,and a sitdown dinner later atone of the better hotels in thearea. Everything will beperfect.

Better just wait_ a fewseconds. Before you decidejust what type of, wedding tohave and how large it will be,it's a good idea to see whatyour responsibilities ... thefinancial ones... are. Also thegroom and his family havecertain obligations and it isbetter to know what they arein advance.

The bride's family willpay for:

• the bride's personaland household trousseau.

• the bridal outfit andthose for her attendants...however often the attendantsoften pay for their own.

• wedding invitationsand announcements.

• engagement andwedding photographs.

• flowers for the bride,the bridesmaids, corsages andboutonnieres...although hereagain it is perfectly proper ifthe groom chooses to pay forthese.

• bridesmaids' gifts.• music for the wedding

and reception.• church expenses such

as the sexton's, organist's andchoir fees.

• bridal dinner, unlessthe groom's family decides topay for it.

• housing for out-of-townguests and attendants.

• transportation for thebride and bridal party to andfrom the place of theceremony.

• the wedding breakfastor reception.

• flowers for thereception.

• groom's wedding ringand gift.

catering byMA

We coordinate and serveat your party withprofessional expertiseand true dedication.

o

<a

Dinners of your very owntaste and choiceImpeccable waitersFine cheeses, prime meatsCanapes and sandwiches

• wedding gift to thebride.

By now you may begin tothink that all the groom has todo is show up. That is almostthe case but not quite. Thegroom and his family willassume the expenses for thefollowing:

• marriage license.• wedding ring.• flowers for the bride

and bridesmaids...if the bridehas not included this in herbudget.

• wedding gift for thebride.

• gifts for the best manand ushers.

• bachelor din-ner...although this is generallygiven by friends of the groom.

• the clergyman's fee.

• the entire cost of thewedding trip.

So... take a good look atthis list and then decide justhow large of a wedding youwill be able to provide for yourdaughter. Often a smallerwedding, done properly and inthe best of taste, is much morememorable than trying tohave an extravagant affair ona limited budget.

Preparations For Big AffairWhile preparations really

depend upon size of affair, thelocale and the time of year,there are many things thatshould be tended to at specifictimes.

A good idea would be tomake out a check list and keepit with you. After all, youwant everything perfect andwhy take chances with a once-in• a-lifetime affair?

NINETY DAYS BEFORETHE WEDDING: decide onwhat type of affair you wantand can afford. Set the dateand time and makearrangements with yourclergyman.

Invite your bridesmaidsand ushers to participate inthe wedding.

Be sure to make thereservations' for yourreception, dinner, breakfast orwhatever type of party youwill have.

This is the time to orderyour wedding gown and alsothe dresses for your at-tendants. Make sure

everything is taken care of,such as shoes, hats and un-derpinings.

Also, and do this withoutfail, start your guestlist. Askyour future in-laws to begintheirs too.

SIXTY DAYS BEFORETHE WEDDING: order yourinvitations, announcementsand thank-you notes. Alsovisit your florist and decide onwhat you will want for yourown bouquet, the flowers foryour bridesmaids and theflowers for the ushers.

Shop for your trousseauand also for the gifts for yourattendants. You might wantto make the necessaryarrangements with yourphotographer now.

Address, stamp and sealyour invitations and an-nouncements so they will beready at the proper time.

T H I R T Y D A Y SBEFORE THE WEDDING:have a physical check-up at

••

Bridal Couple's Check List• See the parish priest before any arrangements are

made, since large parishes must schedule weddingsmany months in advance.

• Obtain necessary data and records (baptismal records,etc.) to give to pastor.Invite attendants.Make guest lists.Reserve place for breakfast and/or reception.

• Engage a caterer, if needed.• Honeymoon plans.• Order invitations, announcements, stationery for gift

acknowledgments; also Nuptial Mass missals forguests, if desired.

• Arrange for music.• Select wedding dress and accessories.• Bridesmaids' dresses.• Groom's attire and that of his attendants.• Photograph for newspaper.• Photographer for wedding.• Select ring or rings.n Gifts for attendants.

Mail invitations.Order flowers.Plan rehearsal dinner, if desired.Medical tests.

• Order food and wedding cake.• Marriage license.• Arrange transportation to church and reception.• Rehearsal.

DDDD

your doctors and get yourblood tests finished.

Now you must mail theinvitations. You don't want tosend them too early or thedate might be forgotten and towait too late will causeproblems too.

By now you should havethe final fitting for your gownand bridesmaids. If it'snecessary, finish shopping foryour trousseau.

TWENTY DAYSBEFORE THE WEDDING:Purchase your gift for yourfuture husband. This is such aprecious time you want to besure you have chosen jus theright thing.

The final decisions on themenu for the reception, thecake and any other itemsshould be made now. Alsobegin recording your weddinggifts and start sending yourthank you notes.

If time allows., and try toarange it so that if it does...treat your bridesmaids to aluncheon. This is a good timeto give them their gifts too.

SEVEN DAYS BEFORETHE WEDDING: Displayyour gifts at an appropriateplace in your home. Everyoneenjoys looking at all of thebeautiful things you willreceive... and you will too.

Make a list of things youwill need for your honeymoon.If you and your futurehusband will be moving into ahome or an apartament afterthe wedding trip, you couldbegin moving household itemsinto your new residence.

Shop for groceries andget supplies for the medicinecabinets.

Check with yourclergyman about rehearsaltime and be sure to get anyinformation concerning do'sand don't's about theceremony. You will also havethe bridal party dinner duringthis week.

THE WEDDING DAY:This is the time to mail yourwedding announcements. Besure to give yourphotographer enough time totake your portraits beforeyour big moment.

leave for the church inplenty of time.

And then, enjoy andsavor each moment. And starton a wonderful and happywedded life.

Page 16A f Miami, Florida I THE VOICE / Friday, February 23,1979

Pros And Con Of Children Now Or LaterNot too many years ago,

a young Catholic couple wouldmarry, and family and friendswould sort of collectively holdtheir breaths until the ex-pected arrival of an offspringwas announced.

"You got married, youhad a baby," commented onebride of yore. "If you weren'texpecting within a year, youstarted to worry. Andeverbody else started towonder."

"Those people who wait neverknow what that feels like. Ofcourse, I can laugh at it now,but it wasn't funny then."

"A new marriage whenboth partners are in school is apretty big financial strain,"observed Amy (Mrs. Don)Arai of New Orleans, who wascompleting work on her PH. Dwhile her husband was inmedical school. "We werecertainly in a better positionto handle parenthood later.

NOT ANY more. Withthe worldwide emphasis onpopulation control, and themore sophisticated naturalmethods of family planning,having a baby is no longer soautomatic. It's a consciousdecision.

The book Passages, byGail Sheehy, notes that someof the world's most successfulwomen have, sometimes byaccident, postponedparenthood until after theyhad established themselves incareers. Among such womenare Margaret Mead, ShanaAlexander and BarbaraWalters.

How about the not-so-famous How do local marriedwomen compare postponedparenthood with immediate?For answers we spoke tomothers who'd followed eachpattern.

FINANCIAL securitywas the first advantage thatpopped into the minds ofthose who had waited.

Loretta (Mrs. Clark)Landrieu of New Orleans, whoadopted two children afterseveral years in a career,pointed out, we had our ownhouse. And I didn't have toturn the baby over to a sitterso I could rush our and makemoney to help support him. Icould afford to stay home andtake care of him myself.

"We could buy the babyeverything he needed andmore, although I don't know ifthat's really that important. Ababy doesn't really care if hehas a new playpen or asecondhand one, or one pair ofshoes or six. I don't un-derstand people who wait andwait until everything is ab-solutely perfect."

"I REMEMBER onepoint when we had two babies,one on the way, and fivedollars in the bank account,"reminisced another mother.

"Emotionally it would'vebeen a strain, too. We wereinvolved With school andinvolved with each other. Itwould've been hard to con-centrate on a baby, too."

A DIFFERENT viewwas taken by Cathy (Mrs.Max) Reichard of NewOrleans, who is completingwork on her Ph.D. now, afterhaving had four children.

"I don't think I could'vemaintained a strong careercommitment at the same timeI was adjusting to a wholenew way of life. For me,children were part of themarriage commitment. Theyfitted right in. A carreerdidn't.

"I think you tend tobecome less flexible as you getolder, and would have moretrouble adjusting to childrenthen. It might be harder totake your mind off your workand give proper attention to ayoung child. Whereas whenyou're young you feel you haveyour whole life before you, soyou can devote all your timeto motherhood for a while, andget involved with a careerlater."

LORETTA disagreed. "Ifeel I'm more content to be athome now because I did workfor several years. When I wasyounger, I was so idealistic — Ithought I was going torevolutionize Americaneducation.

"I loved teaching I reallydid. But after a while I beganto get more realistic andrealized I wasn't going to setthe world on fire.

"I may go back to workwhen the children are older,but I don't have this drivingurge that I just have to getout of the house and dosomething important that Isee in some women who neverhad a career."

ULTIMATELY, bothgroups agreed that the answer

for any individual woman- liesin her personal priorities. Ifshe decides to postponechildren for any length oftime, she must face thepossibility of never havingchildren at all. The older shegets, the less likely she is toconceive.

However, it's never beenproven, notes Mary (Mrs. Al)LaCoste, who was past 35when her last baby was born,that maternal age has a cause-and-effect relationship with

defects in children or difficultdeliveries.

"I feel we're all heathierat middle age than we were intimes past. We can expect todo more things —play tennisat 40 or whatever— that 40-year-olds didn't often do acouple of generations ago, andthat includes bearingchildren."

CONVERSELY, if awoman decides to havechildren first, she must facethe possibility of never

getting her career off theground. She may not have theopportunities in later yearsthat she has while young, orshe may just never get arounddo it.

It 's definitely a decisionthat must be talked out withone's future husband beforemarriage. For some couples,the choice is easy; for others,it requires much soul-searching. But couples todaydo have the opportunity todecide.

Selecting A GiftOften it is difficult to

select a gift for the bride andgroom. Fine china, silver andcrystal has always been thetraditional favorite, but someof the gift shops anddepartment stores have madesome changes that seem toplease today's bride.

Robert Frehling of NessaGaulois, explained that manypeople do not want to givejust part of a gift...like a cupand saucer or a teaspoon fromthe bride's silver pattern.

"A lot of people can'tafford an entire place setting",pointed out Frehling. "Theywant to give a complete gift."

Also today's bride needsmuch more than china andcrystal when she begins todecorate a home. While thefiner items are always app-preciated, today's young ladyhas some modern ideas of herown.

Everyday, casual chinaand crystal is always needed.Undoubtedly the new couplewill entertain and many shopsoffer bar-ware and decorativeaccessories.

Making the best of afurnished apartment meansputting together ideas andusing wedding gifts. Ceramicfigures, bronze sculptures,

c a n d l e s t i c k s , c locks ,teacarts...there are so manythings that any new bride willenjoy.

As Frehling explained, itis necessary to cater to in-dividual tastes. Stores mustinclude items styuled from themodern to the contemporary,from period to traditional.

When selecting gifts forthe bride, it is important todetermine whether or not theitem can be returned if thecouple does not particularlycare for it. While we maythink that we know a person'stastes, it is possible to make amistake in judgment.

EXCLUSIVE HOME PRODUCTS

presents

•••• v.

The "Designer Collection"Seriesof fine china and the

Casual Collection

THE ULTIMATE IN STONEWARE

Our sparkling crystal in exclusive designs tocompliment your china ranges from goblets all theway to cordials.

Our tableware is created in both classical andcontemporary to harmonize with every setting.

No one will ever see your dinner patterns inany store in America. These patterns are esdusivelyours.Make them exclusively yours. Mail the couponbelow now.

Register now for your very own privateshowing and a FREE BRIDAL GIFT!

BuiPompano

Exclusive Home Products has been creating and marketingbeautiful items for your home for over a decade — right

here in South Florida. We're your neighbors. Call us foradvice and ideas on coordinating your new home.

BROWARD946-1351

MIAMI944-6863

PALM BEACH737-7586

TO: Exclusive Home Products1*10 S.W. 3rd StreetPompano Beach. Fl. 33060

Please send me my free bridal gift and free brochures picturing your Exclusivenew patterns in china, crystal and tableware.

N a m e

Address

Phone

Miami, Florida / THE VOICE I Friday, February 23, 1979 / Page 17A

Each Wedding Has MeaningBy MSGR. JAMES T.

McHUGH

In some sense it may betrue that "marriages are madein heaven," but a wedding iscertainly a realistic event thattakes place right here onearth. Every wedding has avariety of meanings. For thebride and groom and theirfamilies, it is the moment forproclaiming and celebratingwhat ought to be a majordecision in their lives. Forsociety, it is the public eventthat acknowledges theinitiation of a new family unit,and the point at which eachparty acquires new rights,responsibilities and status.For the Church, it is a solemnand gracefilled moment inwhich a man and woman givereality in their own lives to therelationship between Christand the Church.

Because marriage is thefoundation of society as wellas an intimate and constantlyd e v e l o p i n g h u m a nrelationship, each marriage,has implications far beyondthe personal involvement of

the bride and groom. Ad-mittedly, the wedding isprimarily only the launchingpad for each marriage andeach family unit, but it is alsothe time when society ex-presses its expectations,commitments, and support sothat the new family will provesuccessful.

Weddings are publicevents of serious importance.And though each couple isconvinced that their weddingis different and special, somethings remain the same for all.

Unfortunately, muchtime, and concern are given tothe non-essentials like in-vitations, clothes, picturesand elaborate receptions. Thisoften distracts a couple fromrealizing that their weddingrevolves around the publicexchange of their marriagevows, and the acceptance ofthese vows by society.

Nonetheless, there aresome practical requirementsthat must be met so that thewedding may achieve its fullsocial and religioussignificance.

First, a couple should

Nutrition ForNewly Wed

Ever notice how almosteveryone—brides and grooms,too—seems to put on a fewpounds after the wedding?

Seems a shame,especially for a bride who hascarefully counted calories formonths to be her slimmest,trimmest self when shewalks down the aisle.

THEN SHE'S left alonein the kitchen with a newFrench cookbook, and thenatural desire to prove herselfas outstanding in culinaryskills as she hopes to be in allother areas of wifedom.

And hubby, at this pointin his marriage, is in no moodto criticize. If she cooks it,chances are he'll eat it.Besides, since she's tryingextra hard now, everythingprobably is delicious.

Or if she isn't as talentedas she'd like to be, she may tryto make up for it by servingpre-packaged conveniencefoods —nearly always calorieladen. And he'll try to makeher' feel better by taking herout to eat a lot, again fat-tening.

McDONALD'S can giveyou a little change and enoughcalories to last you the day.And we won't go into cuisineserved up with wine andcream sauces, or fried in 101secret ingredients.

What's particularlyunhealthy about this patternis that the family, even in itsembryonic stage, is formingeating habits that may last alifetime (and will certainlyaffect the length of thelifetime!.

When the family includes.

children, their eating habits,for better or for worse, will beformed along the same lines.

SO WHAT are newlywedto do?

Buy a scale, for one thing,if they haven't received oneamong the wedding presents.And get on it, every morning.

Then they know for surehow much trouble they're in,or if everything's tightbecause somebody has a fewtricks to learn in the laundryroom.

AND INVEST in a goodbook on basic nutrition— suchas Jean Mayer's A Diet ForLiving.Many basic cookbooksoffer sections on nutrition too,but his is more to the point.

Weight Watchers 'magazine devoted a large partof its August issue tonewlyweds and includedseveral suggestions.

Take turns with thecooking, they said. No reasonwhy the Mrs., who may wellwork hours as long as herhusband's should have tocome home hungry to thekitchen every single night tobe faced with temptations totaste as she cooks.

FILL THE dinner platesattractively at the stove, thenbring them to the table,restaurant style. It's harder totake second helpings thatway.

Clean up the kitchentogether. And walk out of thekitchen togeher, shutting thedoor firmly. And go findsomething more interesting todo.

arrange an informal chat withthe priest who will preside attheir wedding, or the priest inthe Church in which they wishto be married. The priest willgo through a questionnairewith them to certify that theyare free and worthy to receivethe sacrament of marriage. Hewill also chat with them aboutmarriage — its respon-sibilities and its prerogatives.The meetings with priestshould be their opportunity

. for building a new friendshipas well as the occasion toarrange the date, time andcircumstances of the wedding.Although customarily thewedding is in the church of thebride, it may be held in someother church of special im-portance to the couple. And insome mixed marriages, theremay be a good reason for thewedding to take place in theChurch of the non-Catholic. Inany case, the priest will handleall the arrangements anddetails, and will help thecouple make appropriatechoices regarding prayer,Scripture readings and musicso that their wedding liturgyis a personally expressivecelebration of theirrelationship and the marriage

sacrament.In many " dioceses

throughout the United States,couples are urged — if notrequired — to participate insome type of premarriagepreparation. Highly trainedcouples and priests conductthese sessions which aredirected toward helpingcouples realize the importanceof their personal relationshipsand marital commitment.Appropriate use may be madeof pre-marital inventories, ofspecialized instructions bydoctors, lawyers and othermarried couples. But thepurpose is not simply toprovide information. It ismeant to heighten com-munication and mutual un-derstanding to help the couplebetter realize that theircourtship and wedding aresimple steps toward the in-timate and abiding maritalpartnership that wasestablished by God and givena sacramental significance byJesus Christ.

At the same time, societysees the family as the basicsocial unit and recognizes thatmarriage should be enteredinto with the free and fullconsent of the intending

RITAH.BUKSTELPERSONALIZED B\PETRIES

elegant personalized paperfor every occasion

you are invited to select

WEDDING INVITATIONSPersonalized Service

since 1954

808 Northeast 125th StreetNorth Miami, Florida 33161

(305) 688-4886

spouses. Thus, every nationhas laws regulating marriage,and every state sets outcertain requirements, such asthe marriage license. Again,the priest helps the couplework out the details of ob-taining the blood test and

'license from local civilauthorities.

In summary then, awedding is a public event, aliturgical and religious act ofgreat significance, and theoccasion of a celebration byfamily and friends of the brideand groom. Weddings almostalways work out well butmarriages do not necessarilydo so. Thus, it is important forcouples to worry less aboutthe wedding, and pay moreattention to the marriagerelationship. The preparatorydetails have importance, andcan also be rich and rewardingcircumstances through whicha couple come to knowthemselves better. These arealso occasions through whicha couple may deepen theirmutual commitment so thattheir wedding is the momentof promise that merits thecontinuing support and en-couragement of family,friends, society and the entireChristian community.

INTERNATIONALLYACCLAIMED - PLUS

CANTONESE AAMERICAN MENU

COCKTAILS

HARRIS

IMPERIAL HOUSENorth Ocean Dnv* aKAtlanlic Boulevard

Pompano Beach. Florida • Ph. 941-2200

BRIDAL SHOPOF

BOCA RATON

everything to makeYOUR WEDDING

beautiful... atoneshop!

largest section ofnationally advertised

BRIDAL GOWNS,MAIDS, and MOTHERS

GOWNS as well asRental Formalwearfor your Groom and

Groomsmen. Flowersand invitations, of

course.

391-5454Open 6 Days a weekand Thurs. Evening

Page 18A I Miami, Florida / THE VOICE I Friday, February 23, 1979

Courses For Fathers

MIAMI FORMALSCustom Wedding Gowns * Formal Gowns

Dressmaking * Alterations

Tuxedo SALES & RENTAIComplete Wedding Coordination

8169 NE 2nd Avenue, Miami: 756-5399

it's nice to dobusiness withhonest people

g rc;tr cjiiartcr windows.

Tinted glass all-around.

'ay/Night mirror.

AM radio.

Fold-down rear scat.

Wrme sidcuall t

Bill Bower's

FT. LAUDERDALE525-2851

2198 NE 163 STREETMIAMI

949-1311

DETROIT (NC)-Therewere dads, crawling on thefloor with their infants,coaxing them to crawlthrough a tunnel, helpingthem move their tiny armsand legs in a kiddiecalisthenics session.

The class, at MarygroveCollege here, was meant to bea living lab, and that it was.

The eight-week course,"Saturday Fun for Dads withTheir Babies,'-' is designed tohelp fathers become moreeffective parents.

THROUGH discussions,lectures, live demonstrationsand the use of play materials,"We're attempting to makefathers more aware of theirchildren's physical, social,emotional and intellectualpotential," explained Mrs.Marie Gormaine, who teachesthe class.

"Fathers are going to beshown some things that willhelp them provide an in-teresting and stimulatingenvironment for theirchildren."

THE CHILDREN are sixmonths to one year old.

-Fathers will learn suchbasics as what kind to toys arebest for infants, how im-portant exercise is, and how tosatisfy a child's curiosity.

That last point is par-ticularly important when

related to discipline, said Mrs.Germaine. "When a childmoves out into the worldstarts to explore and touchthings, discipline becomes aproblem.

"THERE'S A definitedifference between disciplineand punishment," she con-tinued. "Fahters should try tocreate a positive atmosphere."

This positive atmospherecan best be achieved byrestricting the use of the word"no", she said.

"If you have objects inyour home that constantly'test' the child, they should beremoved," she maintained,"Or try to divert their at-tention from the objects. 'No'should be used principally intimes of danger."

THE CLASS,, Mrs.Gormaine said, is designed"to help fathers develop theirown skills so they can relate totheir children. Fathers havesome tremendous skills thatthey don't recognize.

"The fact that the motheris the principal caretaker ofthe child is a problem. Thechild tends to side with theparent he or she is withconstantly.

"But the fathers show areal ability to improvisegames and songs — and thatcreativity is essential in the

development of the child andthey should be a part of it."

RESEARCH has shown,Mrs. Gormaine pointed out,that stimulation by parents isessential in a child's earlydevelopment.

"Beyond three years ofage, if a child hasn't beenstimulated by a learningenvironment, it's almost toolate. The brain is developed toits full size during that firstyear," said Mrs. Germaine,who has been involved ininfant learning since the1940s.

Why do fathers come tothe class?Their reasons vary.

BUT JIM Westbrook,who is the father of one-year-old twins Meredith andJennifer, had a "long-range"purpose.

"I came to this classpretty open... I didn't knowwhat to expect," he said."There are things about mychildren's development that Inever really understood — orabout myself. Like when Ishould go berserk when theystart to destroy the houseright in front of me.

"I want to know how toencourage their futuredevelopment," he said, andadded jokingly, "I knowthey're exceptionally brightchildren and I want to learn allI can to prep them for Har-vard."

Miami, Florida I THE VOICE / Friday, February 23, 1979 / Page 19A

WHAT IS AN ENGAGEDENCOUNTER?

The . Engaged Couples Encounter is a day or weekendwhere an atmosphere is created in which each couple canconcentrate exclusively on one another, free of the tensionsand pressures and interruptions of the world. It is a veryquiet time specifically designed to give the couplesplanning marriage, an opportunity to dialogue honestly andintensively about their prospective lives together . . . theirstrengths and weaknesses: their desires, their ambitions,their goals; their attitudes about money, sex, children,family; their role in the Church and society . . . in aface-to-face way. The Engaged Encounter is a fullyapproved method of marriage preparation in theArchdiocese of Miami. It is not necessarily somethingcouples have to do before they can get married in theChurch. It is an opportunity their faith community providesjut of love for them so that their love for andcommunication with each other might deepen. Couplesexpect a lot in marriage today; Engaged Encounter helpsthem find even more than they expect. It is a preparationnot just for marriage, but for Christian marriage in theSacrament of Matrimony — that state of life in which aman and a woman reflect God's love to each other and toHis people.

WHEN TO MAKE IT?The Engaged Encounter should be made as soon after acouple has decided to marry and as far before the actualwedding date as possible. This will relieve the pressure ofthings to do immediately before the wedding. Much moretime is needed to prepare for a lifetime of marriage thanfor a wedding ceremony and reception.

WHO IS IT FOR?

It is for- all couples — and only couples — planningmarriage, who desire a richer, fuller life together. Marriagepreparation can never be too good. Encounter is designedto deepen and enrich your relationship with each other.

Although the Encounter is Catholic in origin andorientation, it is open to all couples of any faith searchingfor enrichment in the quality of their life together.

SCHEDULE OF ENGAGED ENCOUNTERS, 1979 W H A T H A P P E N STO REGISTER OR INQUIRE i T i v *-iiKH-irfcTTi«nvr(™o

CALL OR WRITE: AT AN ENCOUNTER?Through a series of ideas presented by a team of marriedcouples and a priest, the couple is stimulated to dialogueprivately with each other on all aspects of married life —always from the viewpoint of their own relationship.Personal reflections and couple dialogue are the mainthrust of the experience, with communal meals and theliturgy providing group participation. The heart of the dayis this communication by the engaged couples. The teamsimply provides the background for the couples' sharing.The quality of the day depends almost totally on theseriousness of the couple making it.

Nor is the day primarily content oriented. The day has littlegroup discussion, but many periods for individuals toreflect and to share their reflections with their futurespouse in dialogue. Couples are given much more materialto reflect on during the day than they could ever finish. Thegoal of the day is to teach them the dynamic of dialogue sothey can continue this reflection and sharing through therest of their engagement and into their marriage.

South Dade

Jan. 27 *Little

!•'lower

Mar. 4Lourdcs US

Apr. 8Lourdes US

May 6Lourdes US

June 10Little

Rower

July 14 *St. Louis

Aug. 26Little

1'lower

Sept. 29 *St. Louis

Nov. 4St. Louis

Dec. 9St. Louis

soin

a r*>

-?•§*

Cu — U so

North DadeS. Broward

Jan. 21St. Law-

rence

I?eb. 18Immacu-

late Con-ception

Mar. 18St. Stephen

Apr. 22Holy

lamily

May 18-20(weekend)

Aug. 19St. Charles

Borromeo

Sept. 16St. Rose

Oct. 21Nativity

Nov. 18St. James

b 1"i *2-

£ o f> to

£3£§

Ft.Lauderdale

Jan. 14St. Cle-

ment

Mar. 11St. Ma-

lachy -

Mav 6St. Helen

June 10St. An-

thony

Sept. 9St. Gregory

Nov. 1 1St. Bernard

I s °

•£ • j 5

Q n c/31~-

Boca Raton

May 20St. Joan

of Arc

Oct. 7St. Joan

of Arc

1 il

Palm Beach

Jan. 7Sacred

Heart

Mar. 4St. Vincent

KerrerApr. 1St. Clare

Apr. 29St. Mark

June 3St. Ed-

ward

Sept. 2Mary Im-

niaeulate

Dec. 2St. Juliana

•—» oo oo

rCOMPLETE 5 X 7 ALBUM WITH 13 PHOTOGRAPHS

WEDDING PHOTOSLICENSED PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER i|

g223-7130

IS IT A SENSITIVITY COURSE?Definitely NOT . . . the emphasis is quiet and low key.There are no group dynamics. Instead the Encounter isspecifically designed for communication between thecouple.

WHEN AND WHERE?Engaged Encounters are~ held almost every weekthroughout the year. Various locations are used. Theday-long Encounter begins at 10 A.M. and ends around 8P.M. The weekend begins on a Friday at 8:00 P.M. andends on Sunday at approximately 4:30 P.M. Theatmosphere of the day is informal. Couples may ' (Besscomfortably and even bring cushions to make the chatty alittle softer.

WHAT ELSEBEFORE MARRIAGE?Engaged Encounter is only one part of what the Churchoffers coules preparing for the Sacrament of Matrimony.Another part of its concern is shown on the parish levelwith the priest preparing them for the Sacrament or thesponsor couple assisting in this preparation. On the parishlevel, through the use of the Premarital Inventory, a morepersonal preparation for the Sacrament is available.

(Continued on Page21)

The Ring: A Joint Effort

OF BOCA RATON

FOR

See our lovely collection...for complete Bridal Party andguests. Also dresses andtuxedos for all occasions.

PHONE 391-2029

* WEDDINGINVITATIONS

'PHOTOGRAPHY

107 E. Palmetto Pk. Road, Boca Raton, Fla.

Over the past years somebridal traditions have beenleft behind in the name ofcommon sense. While somethings such as deciding uponthe gown was the choice of thebride and the place tohoneymoon was decided bythe groom, today there seemsto be more of a joint effort insome areas.

"There is much more of afeeling of togetherness'today" according to RonSmithey, the buyer for thebridal department at Mayor's

Jewelers.

Smithey goes on to pointout that in years past theyoung man would come into ashop, select an engagementring and wedding band for hisbeloved, and then take it homeand surprise her.

No longer does thishappen. Today they come intogether and select theengagement ring and bands.And it seems to make a lot ofsense.

FURNITURE INTERIORS

QCllffVS of bocaDedicated to the Art ot liracjous Living

2980 N. Federal Boca Raton

Bridal jewelry is muchmore than just two or threerings...if the groom wears one.The groom traditionallypurchases a gift for his brideand ususally it is a strand ofpearls which denotes hap-piness and longevity ofmarriage. Smithey mentionedthat some men prefer topresent their brides with adiamond in the shape of a dropto be worn around her neck.And, of course diamondearrings are always nice.

CATERINGIN YOUR HOME OR

PLACE OF BUSINESS—AMERICAN AND

* CANTONESE—BY THE

HARRIS

IMPERIAL HOUSENorth Ocean Drive at Atlantic Blvdm Pompano Beach • Ph 941-2200

Page 20A I Miami, Florida /THE VOICE I Friday, February 23, 1979

(Continued from Page 20)

AND AFTER THE WEDDING?

The Church*s concern for young couples goes right withthem after the wedding. If a couple's new address isforwarded to the Family Enrichment Center they willreceive a free newsletter entitled, "In the Beginning,"written especially for them during their first two years ofmarriage.

WHAT IS THE COST?

There is no charge to engaged couples for the Encounter. Itis a work of love on the part of the Church helping couplesgrow in love. We do not place a cost on love. The entirediocesan and parish community collaborates in this work oflove freely and generously because of their conviction thatwe all have a stake in future marriages. Pastors makeparish facilities available and help to financially support theEncounter in the name of their people. Team couples andpriests share their personal experiences^ insights, andefforts in love. Members of parish organizations prepareand serve meals and prepare the facilities and othermaterial needs. All to show their regard for marriage andtheir concern for young couples.

Actual expenses for a day come to about $15. a couple.Couples wishing to show their gratitude will have anopportunity to do so through whatever donation they maywish to make. This donation may be made by mail whenregistering or during the EE itself. Couples who afterregistering are for some reason unable to attend the day forwhich they registered are asked to call to cancel theirregistration so that food will not be prepared for themneedlessly.

CAMINO

El fin de Camino es crear conciencia de la responsabilidadque encierran los sacramentos, haciendo enfasis en elsacramento del matrimonie, tanto a nivel espiritual comomoral y material; sembrando en ellos ideas cristianas,dandole a conocer la verdadera iglesia, y su responsabilidadcomo matrimonio cristiano dentro de ella, haciendolesconciencia de la necesidad de vivir en comunidad.

Es un curso intensivo de dos dias de duracion, basadoprincipalmente en temas y dialogo. Los temas son dadospor matrimonios, psicologos, medicos y sacerdotes.

Trabajando en cada mesa matrimonios auxiliares, los cualescon su entrega y amor tratan de iniciar en dialogo al finalde cada tema tratado. De las inquietudes sembradas por lostemas, se buscara el orientar y aclarar criterios, buscando

.un dialogar ibierto entre ellos. Las parejas se inscriben atraves del sacerdote que les da la preparacion almatrimonio, no llamando el sitio donde la reunion deComino va a tener lugar.

LUGAR: St. John Vianney Minor SeminarySt. Mary Magdalen Church

DONACION: $12.00 por pareja

CAMINO DEL MATRIMONIO1979 CALENDARY

FOR FURTHER INFORMATIONCALL FAMILY ENRICHMENT

CENTER651-0280

EneroFebreroMarzoAbrilMayoJunio

20 - 213 - 43 - 4

21 - 2219-2023-24

JulioAgostoSeptiembreOctubreNoviembreDiciembre

28-2925 - 2622-2320-2117- 188 - 9

Por lo menos diez nuevos "weekends" seran programadosy anunciados durante el ano.

Arrangefor thephotos

Your wedding day is aspecial occasion and one thatyou will want to rememberand relive many, many timesin the future with pictures.

About six weeks prior tothe ceremony, contact a well-k n o w n r e p u t a b l ephotographer and make anappointment to see him. Givehim the details about yourwedding, how large it will be,the number of attendants, iithere will be any specialguests such as a great-grand-mother or a favorite unclepresent and how many peoplewill be at the reception.

Usually the bride'sformal picture is taken beforethe day of the wed-ding...generally as soon as thegown is ready. After decidingon the photograph the bridewants, glossy prints are made.These are used for thenewspaper publication.

In some ceremonies, theminister asks that thephotographer not take pic-tures during the actual ser-vice. However, in certaininstances, it is possible if thephotographer is unobtrusiveand does not interfere with th°service.

After the wedding it isproper to reenter the churchand "go through" the serviceagain for the photographer. Inthis way the couple can havepictures of them at the altar,going through the exchangingof the rings and the marriagekiss.

Award Winning Photographer

Honeymoon!

Contact

TRAVEL BUREAU

In conjunction withCatholic Travel Office, Wash., D.C.

Personalized Service for individual orfamily vacations and group pilgrimage

planning

TELL US WHERE YOU WANT TO GO

AND FOR HOW LONG.We will suggest several itineraries at lowest

passible rates.

Write

TRAVEL, THE VOICE,P.O. Box 1059,

Miami, Fl. 33138

In the Palm Beachesy^ Hxhen you go

you go first to

• Bill'sTuxedo

i The Oldest Tuxedo Shop| in Palm Beach County

with the LARGEST STOCK in the area! Opensix days 9-5:30. Evenings by Appointment

afterSales and Rental

832-4790531 Clematis St.

West Palm Beach

Specialn

Symbol of Art and Distinction

CALL TODAY ABOUT

LOVE STORY'wedding PackageFINE PORTRAITS * CHILDREN * EXECUTIVE * FAMILY GROUPS

3600 Wes t Flagler446-1230

Nery's Flower Shop633 N. State Rd. (441)

961-9875

Miami, Florida I THE VOICE / Friday, February 23, 1979 I Page 21A

IQuality of

"In our efforts at creating a har-monious environment," a readerwrites, "my husband... and I havefound that communication is ofthe utmost importance. Feelingsand needs must be expressedand understood, otherwiseexplosive situations occur andsomeone is hurt, frustrated or leftfeelmg guilty because they failedto perform. Our time together isoften limited so we're learning toconcentrate on the quality of ourshared activities and not thequantity."

Divided homeThere are now about a million di-vorces a year in the United Sta-tes. If trends continue, about twoout of every five marriages in-volving young women now in therlate 20s will end in divorce. Thereare close to 2.5 million one-parent families. "Quite obviouslyit is harder to stay married todaythan it used to be. To some ex-tent, constant emphasis on theproblems or marriage has thecharacter of a self-fulfillingprophecy.

The most beautiful placeto spend the most beautiful

moments of your life.Patricia Murphy's

Picture a wedding in a magnificenttropical garden.Or a reception in an elegant restaurantwhere candlelights glow and gracefulyachts glide by the windows.Whatever the moments you wish totreasure - shower, wedding, banquet,reception - Patricia Murphy's CandlelightRestaurant at Bahia Mar in Ft. Lauderdalewill make them memorable in everyway.

For full information, phone 467-1413Patricia Murphy's

Candlelight Restaurantat Bahia Mar.

On A-1A just south of Las OlasBoulevard in Fort Lauderdale. Opendaily for lunch, dinner and cocktails.

Major credit cards accepted.

I I

Toastingthe future

After a Scripture service on the wedding feast atCana, couples at a Peoria, III., Engaged Encounterweekend toast each other and their future withglasses of wine.

3 - DAY SERVICE!i WEDDINGINVITATIONS

• SOCIALANNOUNCEMENTS

INVITACIONESDE BODAS

• BAUTIZOS• COMUNIONES

Stationery Printing5880 W. FLAGLER STREET

MIAMI, FLORIDA 33144PHONE 266-1260

WEDDINGPARTIES

RECEPTIONS ANDDINNERS ARE

BEAUTIFUL ATk THE FAMOUS

, HARRIS

IMPERIAL HOUSENorth Ocean Drive at Atlantic Blvd.in Pompano Beach • Ph. 941-2200

Page 22A / Miami, Florida I THE VOICE / Friday, February 23, 1979

Marriage: 'A Perfect Union'By EDWARD F.HELLWIG, M.D.

"In order to form a moreperfect union." How fittingthat these words so basic toour great nation at themoment of its birth should beso apt an introduction tomarriage instruction as well.

Man; woman; male;female —how much theseterms mean to all of us.Created by God Xo be togetherfor their happiness and forHis.

God looked at Hiscreation and found it verygood. Remember, too, that Hesaid, "It is not good for manto be alone;" and He blessedMan and Woman saying"Increase and multiply andfill the earth."

Here then, in thebeginning of creation, we havethe essence of sfix. And all ofthe tawdry tainting of it byman cannot change the factthat it is truly holy, that it iscreated by our God.

Now you have chosenyour vocation and are ap-proaching the actual reasonfor your being—that you maylive together in happiness;that you may fulfill yourdestiny on this earth as Manand Wife.

As a doctor I would loveto tell you that it will be easy,that you will have it madefrom the moment you walkback out the church aisle. ButI know that for many of you,in addition to your happiness,your fulfillment; there may bemany and difficult problemsahead. For this reason, yourpreparation for marriagewould be incomplete without aconsideration of how to in-crease your happiness, of howto avoid if possible, or, if not,to accept and live with suchproblems as you may en-counter.

Your actual preparationfor marriage began in yourearliest years. Your feelingsabout yourself, your mother,father, sisters, brothers, otherrelatives, friends andacquaintances, all have in-fluenced you in many ways —ways which you may not even •realize.

The basic attitudes ofmen about women, and Viceversa, are the summation ofpersonal thoughts, ideas andopinions, all formed, to someextent, in some manner,throughout life.

And now you havefocused your ideal, out of allthe men and women in theworld, upon each other.

Your life has been con-ditioned to living as a singleperson, to being alone. Andnow your decision as beenmade, just as our Godforeordained it, and you haveagreed that "it is not good forman to be alone." You arepreparing for your marriage.

But when you marry,though you must change yourconcept of life fromsingleness —aloneness— to

the wedded state, not one ofyou will change overnightfrom the person you really are.You must now learn tosubmerge your thinking ofME into thinking of US and,should you find it difficult,don't ever stop trying.

To fulfill your hopes, yourmarriage must be a successfulmerging—a wedding of mindsas well as bodies. To ac-complish, this each of youmust recognize your personalself for what you are, retainwhat is good and what willlead to married happiness, andbe willing to do your best atall times to change or tosubmerge that which may be aroadblock in your mutual pathto a successful marriage.

Now we come to a primeconsideration of a potentialsource of difficulty. Yourattraction for each other mayhave been, until now, anattraction of the body, of theemotions, based on how youlook, how you act, how youspeak, how you believe. Yetthat body of the man and thatbody of the woman house a

mind, a will, a reason —a verysoul— which is, in its essence,primarily masculine for theman, feminine for the woman.

It is probably thisessential difference which hasbeen your greatest source ofattraction to each other.

But attraction is notenough to insure success. Ifthese attractions should losetheir glitter — if irritationsand minor (or major)grievances begin to creep in —realize now that you will stillbe married, and resolve rightnow that you will not justaccept these problems as inthe role of a martyr, but ratherthat you will redouble yourresolve to work things out, tocontinue the success of yourmarriage.

.How do you manage this?Well —you don't have to be asaint or a martyr; all youreally have to do is to bewilling to communicate withone another.

It is amazing how minorsources of difficulty candisappear if calmlydiscussed —not in the heat of a

AMORES UNA EXPRESION DE

EXQUISITA BELLEZAPOR

moment of argument, but inthe calm of a free and opendiscussion. And those sameproblems can become almostinsurmountable if either partyrefuses to bring them to light,or is willing to discuss themonly when they are apt tobring more heat than light tothe discussion.

I have a great deal of

respect for a not uncommonpractice, more frequent insome non-Catholic families, ofhaving a quiet, periodic timeof reflection and discussion inwhich all members of thefamily participate— an openexamination of the familyconscience. Such a practice isrecommended to manyfamilies when they are tryingto dig their way out of difficultsituations.

"Fine Food and Gracious DiningWithout Extravagance"

ALL YOU CARE TO EAT1,

Your wedding receptionin a Smorgasbord restaurant??

Like most young couples preparing for such a momentousoccasion, you will give thought to all facets of the big day itself.One of the highlights of that special day will surely be the

J wedding reception. Family and friends will gather with the happycouple to partake of good and plentiful food. This custom is nodoubt as old as the marriage ceremony itself. Many varieties of

I food should be made available — and certainly it should be' served on the basis of all they care to eat — good and plentiful

food! These words are synonymous with the Sweden Housei Smorgasbord. In investigating the Sweden House facilities, you| will discover the Sweden House Reception goes beyond good

food. Our punch bowl arrangements are delightful and weddingcakes a specialty of our bakery. The biggest surprise to you will

| be cost. In keeping with the theme "fine food and graciousdining without extravagance", wedding receptions fall well withinthe area of sensible price. Call the Sweden House for additional

I information. P. S. Our congratulations and warmest wishes to' each of you on this your most joyous day!

$ o u s^morgastfaorb

UNA TRADIGION DE EXCELENCIA DESDE 1924369 MIRACLE MILE, CORAL GABLES

LA CRUZ 205, SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO

NO.PALM BEACH801 NO. U.S. 1.

842-5252

SOUTH MIAMI14875 SO. DIXIE HWY

238-8852

PLANTATION700 So. State Rd. 7(441)

581-0500

FT.LAUDERDALE5550 NO. FEDERAL HWY

771-8260

w . v ^ ^ ^ ^ *s

Miami, Florida / THE VOICE I Friday, February 23, 1979 I Page

I • .

Newest for 1979 is the Royale, with matching Saratoga tailcoat in a grand choice of new Spring colors. It comes completewith matching vest, bow and shirt. Illustrated above: Silver Grey. Also available: Ivory with matching tailcoat. Othernew Spring colors: Light blue and mint green. Reserve yours now!

In this day of beautiful men's fashions, AL'SFORMAL WEAR has put together the mostcomplete selection of men's tuxedos. And stylesand colors sure to please you. In addition, theaccessories - shirts, bows, vests -are made tomatch and coordinate with all colors and styles.

Here's where youget fitted perfectlyfor every occasion:

• weddings• proms• black tie affairs• professional use

IN STOCK NOW at

Please come in. Let our experiencedmen's formal wear consultants helpplan a most beautiful wedding for you.

"If You Want it Right You've Got To Go To Al's"

Send for FREE Color Brochure!

Rentals — Sales

HOLLYWOOD Five Convenient Locations In South Florida4400 Hollywood Blvd.

9874)666

NORTH MIAMI777 N.E. 125 Street

8)3-5032

MIAMI573H S.W. 8th. St.

266-2182

SOUTH OAOE15061 So. Dixie Hwy.

233-2690

FORTLAUDERDALE4195 N. STATE Rd. 7

Lauderdale lakes733-3700

Ma i l th is c o u p o n t o any o n e o f our f i ve stores. Or p h o n e us

Name ,

Address

2p.

Date of Wedding

Page 24A I Miami, Florida / THE VOICE / Friday, February 23, 1979