TRANSFORMATIVE THOUGHTS
-
Upload
collegemhc -
Category
Documents
-
view
0 -
download
0
Transcript of TRANSFORMATIVE THOUGHTS
Daniel Keeran, MSW, President
The College of Mental Health Counseling presents:
Transformative Thoughts A Course in Empathy, Finding Wisdom: Verbalizing Your Inner
Dialogue, Creative Solution Development, Assessment Self-Healing
Life Story Counseling Questionnaire, Your Spirituality Score,
Counseling for Depression, Identity Awareness, A Course in the
Psychology of Jesus
- 3 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Copyright © 2014 by Daniel Keeran
No rights reserved. Any part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without specific written permission from the author including but not limited to use in public schools and in the case of brief quotations in reviews for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast. Photocopies and electronic copies may not be sold. Special communication can be directed to the author at [email protected] ISBN-13: 978-1505406801 ISBN-10: 1505406803
Printed in the United States.
- 5 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Dedicated to
my loving wife and daughter
- 7 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Table of Contents
A Course in Empathy: The New Revolution of the Heart 8
Finding Wisdom: Verbalizing Your Inner Dialogue 32
Counseling Assessment Self-Healing Life Story Questionnaire 40
Reaching Agreement: Steps To Peace Through
Creative Solution Development 46
Your Spirituality Score 50
Counseling for Depression 56
More Thoughtful Words 60
Identity Awareness for Individuals and Groups 64
Appendix: 67
How To Become A Christian
A Course in the Psychology of Jesus 97
- 9 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
A Course in Empathy The New Revolution of the Heart
How do you think society might be affected if empathy was taught in the
home, the workplace, and in schools? Imagine a world in which everyone,
children and adults, knew how to care about how others feel and what
they need, want, and think.
While each individual has a unique capacity for empathy, some more than
others, the author believes empathy may be assisted and encouraged for
those who possess some aptitude.
Empathic development requires an awareness of one's own emotions,
addressed in the first exercise on page 12, in order to begin to recognize
and feel connected with the emotions of others.
Now for the first time, we have a set of tools to actually learn empathy so
that it becomes part of one's way of relating to others.
On completion of assignments* for A Course in Empathy, with no more
than a two-page report for each chapter including your responses to
questions found at the end of each one, the Certificate of Empathy
Development is awarded by the College of Mental Health Counseling.
In this concise volume, the author describes ten practical exercises to
enable the development of empathy and thereby aid the transformation of
the self and the community.
The way to peace with everyone is empathy for everyone, including and
especially your opponent in any matter. Empathy for self and others is the
key to inner peace and world peace.
*Assignments and inquiries should be directed to Daniel Keeran, MSW, at the College of
Mental Health Counseling [email protected]
- 11 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
1
Introduction: What Is Empathy?
Lesson Objectives: 1. To understand empathy. 2. To acquire an increased sense of empathy for the emotions and circumstances of others. Empathy Definition: To sincerely and accurately feel and reflect the specific emotion(s) of another person. Empathy also means to value others’ emotions.
Why teach and learn empathy? The important reason to teach and learn empathy is that if individuals are able to learn empathy skills, they will be most likely to apply the skills in their current life with peers and future adult relationships. The ability to have empathy is important as a foundation for caring and compassion between and among people and contributes to positive relationships in all areas of life. Empathy builds a sense of community and reduces the tendency to discriminate or exclude others. Someone who bullies or excludes others can benefit from being aware of the emotions of a potential victim and to value those emotions. While some people may have difficulty feeling or communicating sincere empathy more than others, everyone will derive some benefit from the exercises in this lesson.
- 12 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Select those exercises that correspond to the overall capacity of the age group and modify exercise descriptions for the comprehension level of the group.
Group Discussion:
1. What is empathy? How are empathy and sympathy different? Empathy
is not sympathy. Empathy means to feel the emotion of another person.
Sympathy means to agree with the thoughts of another person.
2. Empathy means that you must set aside your own thoughts and
feelings and pay attention only to the other person’s thoughts and
feelings. Why does this ability require inner strength?
3. How is empathy communicated? Empathy is communicated in the
sincere accurate reflection of the emotions of another person, conveyed
in accurate facial expressions for the emotions, accurate voice tones for
the emotions, and accurate words for the emotions.
4. How are thoughts different from emotions? Emotions are not
thoughts. Emotions are sensory experiences in the mind and body such
as relaxed, fear, caring, anger, guilt, happy, sadness, confident, low
self-worth, hopeful, despair. Thoughts are ideas about another person,
thing, or situation.
5. What is sincerity and why is it important? Sincerity means to be
genuine, to truly value the other person’s feelings as important, and to
take his or her feelings seriously. If sincerity is missing, then empathy
will not be communicated.
6. Are emotions OK? Yes. Emotions are neither good nor bad. Having
emotions is an important part of being human. Believing this is
necessary in order to have sincere empathy for another person’s
feelings. What you do with an emotion can be healthy or unhealthy.
- 13 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
2
Exercises For Empathy Training
Exercise One: Building Your Emotion Vocabulary
Description: The leader introduces the exercise by saying that having a
vocabulary of words for different emotions, is helpful for making
sentences that communicate empathy. Many feeling or emotion lists can
be found on the internet.
Emotions can be separated into categories of pleasant and painful
feelings. For example, pleasant emotions are: happy, excited, peaceful,
relaxed, calm, hopeful.
Examples of painful emotions are: fear, anger, guilt, sad, empty, low
self-worth, and despair.
An acronym can be used to help remember a list of words. For example,
the acronym FAGSELD is a way to remember the painful emotions listed
above.
More information: Painful feelings can be divided into
hard and soft emotions. Examples of hard painful feelings
are anger, frustration, irritation, and annoyed, while
examples of soft painful feelings are fear, sadness, guilt,
emptiness, low self-worth, and despair.
- 14 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Invite group members (in group or as an assignment) to make a list of
emotions or feelings they have about different experiences during the
day. Examples: waking up, getting dressed, smelling breakfast, getting
on the bus, hearing people arguing, hearing people laughing, entering
the room, sitting at the desk, listening to the teacher, going to recess,
taking a test, having lunch, doing homework, seeing parents, playing
with friends, sitting down to dinner, going to bed.
Post-Exercise Discussion:
1. What do you realize about emotions and experiences?
2. Why is it important to be aware of your emotions as you feel them in
the moment?
3. How does being aware of your own emotions affect the way you
understand other people and things that happen in their lives?
Assignment: Make a list of your experiences between the end of group
today and the next group meeting and then write the emotions related
to each experience.
- 15 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
3
Exercise Two: Distinguishing Emotions and Thoughts
Description: In this exercise, group members are asked to make three
sentences beginning with “I feel” followed by a feeling word such as
happy, sad, frustrated, or other emotion.
Examples: “I feel happy when it’s time to play.”
“I feel excited when I get to do math.”
“I feel sad when my friends have to go home
after visiting.”
Post-Exercise Discussion:
What is the difference between a thought and a feeling? A thought is an
idea. A feeling is an emotion.
More information: Remember that a thought, instead of
an emotion, is expressed if “I feel” is followed by the
word “that” rather than a feeling word. The phrase “I
feel that....,” really means “I think” or “I believe.”
If you begin a sentence with “I think” followed by an idea
such as “I think this subject is interesting” or “I think this
group is fun,” you are communicating a thought instead of
an emotion.
- 17 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
4
Exercise Three: Making Sentences for Empathy
Description: Practice making sentences that communicate empathy
using this form and words from the feeling list. Fill in the blanks,
followed by checking to see if you are accurate:
“You feel____________ because ___________. Is that accurate?”
Scenario examples: Here are examples of two scenarios followed by
examples of sentences that show empathy and checking for accuracy.
1. Jill has a frown on her face and says her best friend just moved away.
Empathic reflection: “Jill, you feel sad because you best friend just
moved away. Is that what you feel?”
2. Dad is very quiet when he comes home from work and says he just
lost his job.
Empathic reflection: “Dad, you feel worried because you lost your job.
Is that what you feel?”
Practice Scenarios: After each scenario below, write a sentence that
shows empathy followed by checking to see if you are accurate.
1. Your brother comes home crying and then says he was called hurtful
names at school.
2. The boy at school that others just called hurtful names, is sitting
quietly and looking down.
3. Your friend says he does not want to go home because he received
low scores on his report card.
4. Your friend says she can’t invite you over because her Mom doesn’t
feel well.
- 18 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
5. A person at school is sitting alone at lunch time and not eating his
lunch.
Post-Exercise Discussion:
1. What questions do you have about writing a sentence that shows
empathy?
2. Why is it important to check to see if you are accurate?
- 19 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
5
Exercise Four: Role Reversal
Description: In the Role Reversal exercise, empathy skills are increased
when individuals are asked to imagine he or she is someone else who
will be interviewed in pairs. The group is divided into pairs, and each
person takes turns telling the other person basic personal information in
answer to a brief set of questions. Then each person imagines he or she
is the other person and speaks to the group in the first person as if he or
she is the other person. Mary interviews Rosie and then presents herself
as if she is Rosie by saying, “My name is Rosie. I am 12 years old,” etc.
Then Rosie does the same by saying, “My name is Mary. I am 12 years
old,” etc.
Accuracy is important for building empathy skills in this exercise.
The following is a list of basic questions for collecting basic personal
information:
1. What is your name?
2. What is your age?
3. What is your favorite color?
4. How many brothers and sisters do you have?
5. Where did you go on vacation?
6. What do you like to do most? Demonstrate to the group:
“Now I need a volunteer to show you what role reversal looks like. Who would like to volunteer?” The leader asks the above questions to the volunteer as you sit together in front of the group. Then the leader presents herself as the student speaking in the first person and relating the information collected in the interview using the questions above.
Then the leader says, “What questions do you have about what you will
be doing?”
- 20 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Instructions to the group:
“Now I want you to divide into pairs and interview each other using
these questions (written on the board or given as a printed handout).
Remember what the other person says, and then you will present
yourself as if you are the other person starting with the name and so on.
You will have to listen very carefully and remember what the other
person said. What questions do you have about what I am asking you to
do?”
Post-Exercise discussion:
1. What was it like hearing your partner speak as if he or she was you?
Was he or she accurate?
2. What was it like being your partner? What did you feel or think when
you were being someone different than yourself?
- 21 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
6
Exercise Five: Doubling
Description: In the Doubling exercise, similar to the Role Reversal
exercise, the individuals build empathy skills by becoming a double or
alter ego for another person. This is done by inviting students to walk
around the room in pairs (or to sit in chairs in parallel position) while
one speaks as the other doubles.
The speaker talks about a happy memory or expected future event. As
the speaker is talking, the Double also talks in the first person as if he
or she is also the speaker and reads between the lines by inserting
feeling words.
Example:
Speaker: “I am going to visit my grandparents next week.”
Double: “And I feel happy.”
Speaker: “My grandma makes the best cookies.”
Double: “I am excited to eat the cookies.”
The speaker can let the Double know if she or he is accurate or not by
saying what the accurate feeling is.
Demonstrate to the group:
“Now I need a volunteer to show you what Doubling looks like. Come
here and sit with me (chairs in parallel position facing the group). Talk
about a happy memory or something you look forward to in the future.”
As the volunteer talks, the leader speaks in the first person as if she or
he is the student and fills in feelings or emotions not spoken by the
volunteer.
- 22 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
After a brief while, the leader turns to the group and says, “What
questions do you have about what I am asking you to do?”
Instructions for the group exercise:
Divide the group into pairs, and as they are engaged in the exercise, let
them know when to switch roles with one as the speaker and the other
as the Double.
Post-Exercise Discussion:
After each person has had an opportunity to experience both roles
(speaker and Double):
1. What was it like being the speaker and hearing the Double speaking
as yourself?
2. What was it like being the Double? What was the hardest part?
3. How did the exercise of Doubling help you understand the other
person?
- 23 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
7
Exercise Six: Listening with Empathy
Description: Practice listening to another person talk about something
that is personally important, and make sentences for empathy that
reflect his or her emotions. Remember that empathy means to set aside
your own thoughts and feelings and to pay attention to what the other
person thinks and feels.
Demonstrate to the group:
“Now I need a volunteer so that I can show the group what a sentence
for empathy sounds like. Think of something you can say about what is
important to you or something that happened or you hope will happen
in the future. Who would like to volunteer?”
After a brief demonstration, thank the volunteer and ask the group,
“What questions do you have about what you will be doing?”
Instructions for the group exercise:
“Now we will practice making sentences for empathy. I want you divide
into pairs. One of you will speak for a little while and the other will
listen. The speaker can talk about something that happened last night
or today or something in the future. The listener will make a sentence
for empathy and check to see if it is accurate. Then I will tell you when
to switch, with the speaker becoming the listener, and the listener
becoming the speaker. Remember that empathy means to set aside your
own thoughts and feelings and to pay attention to what the other
person thinks and feels.”
After giving instructions, ask the group, “What questions do you have
about what you will be doing?”
Post-Exercise Discussion:
1. What was it like being the speaker and hearing the listener make
sentences for empathy (reflections)?
- 24 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
2. What was it like being the listener? What was the hardest part about
it?
More information: In making an empathic reflection, an
overstatement of the other person’s thoughts and feelings
can give added support when the reflection is accurate and
sincere. This involves seeing implications of what the
speaker says and including these implications in the sincere
reflection while being careful to check for accuracy. If the
empathic reflection is an understatement and leaves out
accurate basic information given by the speaker, the
speaker will feel a lack of empathy and support.
Additional exercises can be created to assist group members
to recognize and reflect empathy for different specific
emotions such as fear, anger, guilt, sadness, celebration,
humiliation, and others. See an exercise for empathizing
with anger below.
- 25 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
8
Exercise Seven: Becoming Another Character
Description: In this exercise, members are asked to break into groups of
three to do the following:
1. Write the dialogue for and then enact a scenario for three people: a
victim, a bully, and an observer.
2. Each group enacts the scenario three times. Each time the scenario is
enacted, each person rotates to take on the role of a different
character.
3. After all scenarios are enacted with each person rotating to each
role, each person then discusses what it was like to take on the role of
each character, what emotions were felt, and what thoughts came up in
each role.
Post-Exercise Discussion:
1. What emotions did you feel as the bully?
2. What emotions did you feel as the victim?
3. What emotions did you feel as the observer?
4. What decisions have you made after doing this exercise?
- 27 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
9
Exercise Eight: Understanding the Story
Description: This exercise is about understanding the story of another
person. “An enemy is someone whose story you have not heard.”
1. Ask members of the group to think (and write) about someone they
are afraid of or someone with whom they do not want to be friends and
to give a reason.
2. Ask group members to imagine they found out reasons why the person
behaves in a negative way and to write the reasons down.
3. Ask group members to share how they feel about the person after
realizing there may be a story that explains the negative behavior of the
person.
Example: (corresponding to the three points above)
1. I do not want to be friends with Rosie because she never talks to me.
2. I found out that Rosie is unhappy and lonely at home, and she is
afraid her Mom may not be able to pay the rent.
3. Now that I know this may be true, I want to be friends with Rosie
because her not talking is not about me but about her feelings about
what is happening at home.
Post-Exercise Discussion:
1. How has this exercise changed the way you think about people you
are afraid of or with whom you do not want to be friends?
2. Imagine how understanding the story of the other person could affect
the way people feel and think about their perceived enemies, nations in
conflict, and groups of people that you or perhaps others dislike.
- 29 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
10
Exercise Nine: Imagine the Emotions of a Historical Character
Description: This exercise is about understanding the emotions of a
historical character. The leader asks group members to make a list of
five people from history and circumstances. Then write emotions that
each person may have felt about what was happening in history or in
the life of the person when they were experiencing the emotions.
Alternatively, the leader can make a list of historical people, describe
their circumstances, and then invite group members to list emotions the
person might have had.
Example: Abraham Lincoln sees slaves being sold in the town square,
and in that moment he feels sad that they have no families of their
own, angry that men would treat other men as property, and hopeless
that he could do nothing about it.
Post-Exercise Discussion:
1. Who would like to share your list of historical people and
circumstances with the group?
2. What emotions did you come up with and what are the emotions
about?
- 31 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
11
Exercise Ten: Having Empathy for Anger
Description: This exercise assists the development of ways to cope with
the anger of another person by using empathic reflection. Empathy for
anger can sometimes have the effect of reducing the anger of a person.
A scenario is demonstrated by the leader who makes a reflective
empathic statement when someone is very angry. After observing this,
group members are asked to form pairs and to practice making a
reflective empathic statement to the other person who makes an angry
statement.
Example: (demonstrated)
Angry Person: “You never do what you’re told, and so now I have to do
it for you.”
Empathic Listener: “You feel angry because I didn’t do my work, and
that makes more work for you. Is that what you are feeling?”
Following this demonstration, ask group members to enact the same
scenario in pairs with each person taking turns being the angry person,
then the empathic listener. Use the statements provided in the above
example and repeated them to help you feel more of the emotion and
what it is like to say and hear the words.
Post-Exercise Discussion:
1. What was it like making the angry statement?
2. What was it like making the empathic reflective statement?
3. What was it like as the angry person hearing the empathic reflective
statement of the listener?
4. Imagine how empathic reflection could be used between nations to
reduce hostility. How could it work?
- 33 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Finding Wisdom
Verbalizing Your Inner Dialogue New generation psychological technology can improve conditions in
persons with normal or average cognitive functioning. The cognitive
mental functions give humans a particular advantage in terms of creative
solution development.
Humans are constantly engaging in a process of internal dialogue across
a variety of subject areas. Mental distress may be at least partly remedied
by verbalizing, understanding, and perhaps modifying the internal
dialogue.
For persons suffering from chronic dependency as well as anxiety,
depression, and relationship issues, the following technique may be
useful:
1. Invite the client to talk about what they know will improve their situation
and what could worsen their situation.
2. Identify the parts of the self as the knowing confident self and the
unknowing negative self.
3. Ask the client to verbalize each part of the self in response to the other
(like Golum in Lord of the Rings).
4. Discuss ways to strengthen the knowing confident part of the self. This
is also the observer will part of the self that is able to evaluate and modify
the dialogue and draw a conclusion that works best.
The above technique can be easily learned, recorded through journaling,
and repeated as a core process in therapy in order to make the inner
dialogue most conscious and useful to the client. This psychological
technology can improve conditions in persons with normal or average
cognitive functioning.
The therapeutic use of inner dialogue can focus on a specific issue or
area of mental distress and invite the client to have a conversation
- 34 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
between the knowing confident part and the negative self-doubting or
unhealthy part.
Here is an example of an exchange using this inner dialogue approach:
Client: I feel so inadequate and lacking in self-confidence.
Counselor: So, part of you feels inadequate and lacking in self-
confidence. I wonder if there is another part of you, a knowing part, even
a small part, that feels adequate and confident about some things.
Client: Yes, there is. I moved out here on my own. I have a job and pay
my rent (client smiles).
Counselor: You are very resourceful, capable, and independent. You can
strengthen the positive, capable part of yourself just by talking more about
it. Tell me more.
In this example the counselor further supports the knowing supportive self
by adding to the dialogue. The counselor can also invite the client to
verbalize the inner dialogue between the positive knowing part and the
negative doubting part.
Counselor: Now I want you to speak your negative thoughts and also
your positive thoughts.
An exchange with someone suffering from depression
Counselor: If there’s a conversation inside you about the depression,
how does it go? Speak the conversation out loud.
Client: I am a failure. Nothing I do is good enough.
Counselor: So that is the negative part of you that feeds the depression.
There is another part of you, even if it is a small part, that knows more
and that can see the big picture. What does that part say?
Client: I have been resourceful, independent, and self-reliant. I pay my
own rent, buy my own food, hold a job, moved far from home, and have
travelled to Europe on my own.
Counselor: Yes. Which part of you feels better than the other part of you:
the negative part or the other part?
- 35 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Working with different personality disorders
The beginning of the process is to identify the central issue defining the
personality disorder.
Personality disorders are understood as a pattern of behaviour beginning
in childhood, causing subjective distress and affecting social and
occupational functioning.
The central issue of each disorder is actually the voice of the negative
unhealthy self that is larger or stronger than the positive confident self.
The goal of therapy is to strengthen the positive confident self and
thereby relieve mental distress. This occurs by bringing the inner dialogue
into conscious awareness and by focusing attention on the positive
healthy confident self by talking about, elaborating, and affirming it.
The negative unhealthy self is significantly fed by negative uncaring
experiences during childhood, usually the parental relationship. A way to
strengthen the positive self is to say, “What would you say or do if what
happened to you happened to your own child?” and “If you were the
healthy caring adult or parent in the situation you describe, what would
you say or do for you, the child?”
This approach utilizes the person’s own cognitive ability and sense of
empathy to create and define healthy choices.
Another approach is to say, “If you had power to change any three things
about your childhood or family when you were growing up, what would
they be?” and, “I wonder if you can imagine how you might be different
today in some ways if things had been different as you describe.”
This approach helps the person use memory to identify significant
unresolved issues from childhood that require healing as well as
visualization in order to identify and strengthen the positive healthy self. A
key to moving forward is to hold two opposite realities simultaneously, the
reality of loss of parental caring or other loss and also one’s power to
make healthy choices in thought and action now: “Maybe you could not
choose what happened in your childhood, and you can choose what you
do now.”
- 36 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Central issue: No one can be trusted because they want to harm me in
some way.
Common associated major negative life experience: Loss of caring
and closeness in the parental relationship during childhood. Possibly
physical or verbal abuse.
Therapeutic statements supporting the healthy self:
What happened in your childhood or your past that you think has
contributed most to your distrust of others?
I wonder if part of you knows what someone would be like if they could be
trusted.
How much is your fear and distrust based on what you think about other
people? If you could allow yourself to think differently about others, how
might your fear be affected?
How would you feel toward others if you could believe that people are
generally sincere and well-intentioned?
Schizoid Personality Disorder
Central issue: No one understands me because I am different. I prefer
to be alone.
Common associated major negative life experience: Childhood abuse,
loss of parental caring, bullying.
Therapeutic statements supporting the healthy self:
When in your life did you first start feeling alone or of being lonely?
What happened in your childhood or your past that you think has
contributed most to your desire to be alone?
I wonder how you might be different today if there had been something
different in your life when you were growing up.
What is your image of the person you want to be? Describe this person
for me.
- 37 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Part of you prefers to be alone. Another part of you has a different need
or different idea about people. What does that part say?
Schizotypal Personality Disorder
Central issue: I have odd or delusional thoughts but I may not recognize
them as odd or delusional; no one can be trusted. Possible abuse or
abandonment experience in childhood.
Common associated major negative life experience: Loss of parental
caring; lack of social skill development in childhood.
Therapeutic statements supporting the healthy self:
Part of you thinks what you described (the odd thought) is true, and
maybe you need to have those thoughts for now.
Part of you believes no one can be trusted, and everyone wants to harm
you in some way.
There is another part of you that may have a different idea about your
thoughts and knows what you need and who you can be. What does that
part of you say?
Antisocial Personality Disorder
Central issue: I am willing to violate the rights of others to serve my own
profit and pleasure.
Common associated major negative life experience: Lack of parental
discipline during childhood; loss of parental caring.
Therapeutic statements supporting the healthy self:
Part of you is use to surviving on your own, believes sometimes you must
take advantage of other people to look after your own interest, and that
the end justifies the means. Is that accurate?
There is another part of you that feels a little guilty about taking
advantage of others to meet your own needs. What does that part of you
say?
- 38 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Borderline Personality Disorder
Central issue: I don’t have control over my emotions. “I hate you, don’t
leave me.” I am afraid of abandonment.
Common associated major negative life experience: Abuse and/or
abandonment during childhood.
Therapeutic statements supporting the healthy self:
Part of you hates people, feels emotionally negative toward others, and
also fears being left alone by others. Who was the first important person
in your life who hurt or left you?
Another part of you, perhaps a small part, believes that you are capable
of being OK and surviving even if people leave you. What else does that
part know? Maybe that you can manage your emotions, especially your
anger?
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Central issue: I need the attention and approval of others in order to be
happy. My worth depends on my physical attractiveness.
Common associated major negative life experience: Childhood abuse
and learning to believe that value is associated with sexuality or external
appearance. Lack of training in healthy values and beliefs during
childhood.
Therapeutic statements supporting the healthy self:
Part of you believes your worth depends upon your sex appeal and
physical appearance.
There is another wiser part, even if it is a small part of you, that knows
more about you and your worth as a person. What does that part say?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Central issue: My ideas and abilities are superior to those of others.
Common associated major negative life experience: Parental
abandonment or rejection by the father.
- 39 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Therapeutic statements supporting the healthy self:
Part of you thinks your ideas and abilities are superior, perhaps far
superior, to those of others.
Another part of you thinks you may be an imposter or feels very inferior to
others. What does that part say?
And part of you thinks others are capable of having important ideas and
abilities. What does that part say?
Avoidant Personality Disorder
Central issue: I am afraid that others will criticize me in social situations.
Common associated major negative life experience: Critical parenting
during childhood or bullying by peers or siblings.
Therapeutic statements supporting the healthy self:
There is part of you that is afraid of criticism in social situations.
Another part of you is able to reassure you or encourage you. What does
that part say?
Dependent Personality Disorder
Central issue: I fear being alone and must subordinate my own needs
and feelings to those on whom I rely.
Common associated major negative life experience: Dominating
parenting that makes obedience and subservience a condition of caring.
Therapeutic statements supporting the healthy self:
Part of you believes you must serve others in order to be accepted by
them, and you must be accepted by them in order to be happy.
Another, knowing part of you believes you are worthwhile even if others
do not accept you. This part wants you to be true to yourself and to assert
your own needs and feelings even if others are displeased. What else
does it say?
- 40 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
Central issue: I must control my environment and finances, because of
my fear of chaos, disorder, or poverty. Things, working, and financial
security are more important than people.
Common associated major negative life experience: Poverty or
financial stress or financial loss during childhood.
Therapeutic statements supporting the healthy self:
Part of you thinks you must achieve and maintain financial security even if
you must sacrifice closeness and caring in your relationships with others.
If that seems accurate, elaborate on this a little.
Another part of you believes people and the quality of your relationships
are more important than things or even than keeping order.
- 41 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Counseling Assessment Self-Healing Life Story Questionnaire
Introduce Yourself 1. What is your first name?
2. What is your age and gender?
3. What is your marital status? Single, married, separated, or
divorced? How long? Explain the reasons for separation(s) or
divorce(s). What happened?
4. What is your race, ethnic, or cultural background? Caucasian,
Chinese, East Indian, Aboriginal, Other?
5. What are your children's genders and ages? If they are adults, give
their occupations and marital situation.
6. Do you live alone or with someone? How long?
What Happened? 7. What problems and concerns do you have now?
8. What emotions have you been having and what is each one
about? Fear, anger, frustration, guilt, sadness, low self-worth,
despair, other feelings?
9. How long have you been feeling this way? (for each feeling or
problem)
10. What happened at the time you began feeling this way?
11. When have you felt like this in the past and what happened?
12. Any health problems? E.g. epilepsy, diabetes, etc.
13. Any counseling or hospitalized for emotional reasons? How old
were you? Please give the reasons.
Instructions: Only say as much as you want to. Skip questions that
are too uncomfortable, but think about why they are. Simply
completing this questionnaire can be a healing experience in itself.
To understand the deeper meaning of the questions and your
answers, consider this important resource Effective Counseling Skills.
- 42 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
The Family You Grew Up In and Your Childhood 14. How many brothers and sisters do you have? Give each person's
gender, age, occupation, and marital situation.
15. Which one are you in the line of birth? First, last, second or third,
etc. How many years separate you from the others nearest you?
16. Who were you closest to when growing up?
17. Are your parents still living? What was your age at their death?
18. Have your experienced any other deaths of family members or
friends? What was your age?
19. Describe your father's (and step-father's) personality and your
relationship to him when you were growing up. Were you close, not
so close, distant, affectionate? Give an example of something that
happened that shows this and how old you were.
20. Talk about how your relationship with your father (or father figure)
during childhood may have affected you in both positive and
negative ways.
21. How have the negative experiences with your father figure(s),
come up again in your relationships with other people up to now?
22. Describe your mother's (and step-mother's) personality and your
relationship to her when you were growing up. Were you close, not
so close, distant, affectionate? Give an example of something that
happened that shows this and how old you were.
23. Talk about how your relationship with your mother (or mother
figure) during childhood may have affected you in both positive and
negative ways.
24. How have the negative experiences with your mother figure(s),
come up again in your relationships with other people up to now?
25. What were your spiritual or religious beliefs before age 10 and how
have your beliefs changed since then?
26. What was your role in the family when you were growing up? Think
of a word, e.g. peacemaker, black sheep, victim, outsider, assistant
parent, invisible, baby, etc.? Give an example of what happened.
27. Describe your parents' relationship. Were they affectionate? How
did they deal with conflict? Give an example of what happened.
- 43 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
28. Was anyone in the family or extended family ever hospitalized for
emotional reasons or commit suicide? Any mental retardation?
29. How did family members relate to each other when you were
growing up? Give an example.
30. How were feelings of anger, sadness, fear, and guilt expressed?
Give an example.
31. Describe a time when you were disciplined that was most painful
for you. How old were you? What happened?
32. What personality features do you have which your parents also
have?
33. Who was there for you when you were hurt as a child?
34. What messages about your worth and the worth of others, was
communicated by each parent both verbally and nonverbally?
35. How old were you when you left home, and why did you leave?
36. If you had power to change your family when you were growing up
and your childhood in any three ways, what would you choose?
37. If your family experience had been different in the ways you
mentioned above, how do you imagine your life might be different
today?
38. Do you know if your mother had any problems with your birth?
Your School Experience and Friends 39. What was the first day of school like?
40. How many moves and school changes occurred during school
years? How old were you, what grades did you move and why?
41. Describe your relationships with teachers.
42. Describe your relationships with peers.
43. Do you believe you achieved your best in school? Why? What
grade or education level did you complete? What happened?
44. Did you have a group of friends during the first six grades? If not,
why?
45. Did you have one or two very close friends as a teenager? If not,
why?
- 44 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
46. Did you tend to be a follower or a leader with friends as a
teenager?
47. How old were you when you first started go out with someone (or
dated)?
48. Do you have a satisfactory network of friends, family, groups?
Describe these briefly.
49. How would you describe the types of people you associate with?
(What is your role with friends and acquaintances? Helper, victim,
other?)
Your Work Experiences 50. How old were you when you first went to work?
51. What types of jobs have you had and how many? Why did you
leave each job?
52. What has been your role at work? Helper, invisible, responsible,
victim, other? And how have you gotten along with bosses?
Your Social Life and Relationships 53. What was your first date like for you?
54. How old were you with your first sexual experience? And first
intercourse?
55. How many sexual partners have you had over time? And what is
your sexual preference or orientation? (heterosexual, homosexual,
bisexual)
56. Describe your partner’s personality and your relationship.
Aggressive, passive, abusive, caring, other? And describe previous
meaningful relationships, their personalities, and why they ended.
Your Legalities, Use of Substances, Financial
Situation 57. Have you had any past arrests, warrants, charges, suits against
you? How old were you and what were they about?
58. What amount of debt do you have?
- 45 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
59. Any drug or alcohol use? Why do you use it? Has anyone
complained that you use too much or too often?
Your Mood 60. Have you ever had suicidal thoughts at any time in your life? How
old were you? What happened?
61. What is your mood right now on a scale of zero (0) to 10, with zero
meaning ‘life is not worth living’ and 10 meaning you are very
optimistic and life is wonderful? What number do you give your
mood?
62. Any thought of wanting to harm yourself or anyone else?
Your Final Thoughts and Understandings 63. What are your greatest strengths? And what skills or abilities do
you currently have the most confidence in?
64. Having looked at your life from early days until now, what do you
think may have contributed most to your present difficulties?
65. Of all the questions above, what has been most difficult for you to
face?
66. If you were to continue on a path of change and growth what would
you hope to achieve or what would be your goals in counselling?
67. What has it been like completing your Life Story Questionnaire?
- 47 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Reaching Agreement Steps To Peace Through Creative Solution Development*
The process can involve a single individual, a couple, two or more parties having issues, or a large group, and moves beyond control to mutual agreement or majority decision. Explain that the process depends upon acceptance of the following guidelines by all participants:
1. Do not judge, criticize, or evaluate any ideas as you engage in the solution development process.
2. Do not use attempts to exercise power or control of any kind: such as anger, yelling, name-calling, put-downs, threats or intimidation or manipulation.
Step One: Identifying Issues
1. The facilitator invites participants to say “what issues and challenges need to be addressed.”
2. The facilitator writes these issues in a numbered list on a chalk board or flip chart.
(As the issues are being stated, the facilitator uses reflective listening as needed in order to clarify meaning. In the event a strong emotion is expressed or a participant becomes too verbal, the facilitator uses reflective statements, checks if the person feels understood, then directs the participants back to the issue.)
3. The facilitator then asks members to say the number of one of the listed issues that he thinks needs to be addressed first.
4. The facilitator makes a tick by the number of each listed issue selected by participants, then circles the one with the most ticks; this becomes the first issue for solution development.
- 48 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Step Two: Creating Solutions
1. Writing the issue on the chalkboard or flipchart, the facilitator makes a numbered list below it and says, “Now I would like us to brainstorm as many solutions for this issue as you can think of, and as you state them I will write them down on this list without judgment, criticism or discussion.”
2. To increase the number of ideas and with writing material, large groups can break into small groups or dyads and brainstorm using the following statements presented by the facilitator:
a. Let’s write down what’s happening now, because that is always a choice.
b. What’s the opposite of what’s happening now?
c. What is a fantasy of what you might like to see happen but you don’t think is possible?
d. Think of an approach that seems silly or ridiculous.
e. Imagine what someone you respect (a relative or other wise person) might say as a solution.
f. I can think of a possible solution that would work well and that no one has mentioned. Can anyone quess what it is? (the facilitator writes down ideas the participants guess)
g. My idea is ...... (facilitator adds his or her solution to the numbered list)
Step Three: Reaching A Creative Agreement
1. The facilitator says: “Now using your writing material, I would like each of you to take a separate sheet of paper and privately write down the number of up to three of the listed possible solutions or approaches that you think would be most practical or workable to address the challenge or issue.”
2. The facilitator says: “Now tell me the number of the listed solutions you have chosen, and I will make a tick by each of the solutions.”
- 49 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
3. The three solutions most selected by the participants become the creative agreement or solution strategy for the issue addressed.
4. Depending on the issue, volunteers can be invited and a time can be determined to implement the strategy or action plan.
5. Repeat Step Two and Step Three for the second, third, fourth, etc. issue selected most often by the participants.
*If the conflict is related to differences in philosophy, religion, personal taste, or if agreement cannot be reached, the following approaches may provide a solution: agree to disagree, flip a coin, take turns or agree to separate or alternating action plans, implement trial time periods to try different plans, or return to the above process.
Additional information is found in the practical manual How To Do Professional Mental Health Counseling.
- 51 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Your Spirituality Score
Spirituality provides values and beliefs for making healthy choices, a
foundation of hope and meaning for direction and optimism, and support
and encouragement to face major life difficulties.
Strengthening your spiritual growth and awareness can set you on a path
to find inner peace, physical and mental healing, and personal fulfillment.
Your Spirituality Score is based on how many questions of the total for
which you can provide a confident answer, rather than saying, “I don’t
know.” Responses can be written, verbal, or mental, but written may be
beneficial for most people.
1. What is your age, gender, and ethnic/race origin?
2. What were the spiritual/religious views of your father? Your mother?
3. How has your spirituality changed from your childhood until now?
4. Is there anything more than the material universe? Do you believe
anything is true that you cannot personally and directly perceive with your
five senses? Explain.
5. Do you believe intelligence and creativity exist in the universe? Explain.
6. Do you believe in the existence of a transcendent intelligence or
superior reasoning power? Explain why or why not.
7. Do you see evidence of creative intelligence in the design and
complexity of the universe or do you lean toward a material natural
explanation?
8. Do you believe all human beings have equal worth and value? Explain
why or why not? What are the implications?
- 52 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
9. Do you believe the human species has greater or superior value or
greater importance or more responsibility compared to other life forms?
Why or why not? What are the implications?
10. What is the meaning or purpose of human existence?
11. How do you know what is right and wrong?
12. What is the most important thing you can do with your life?
13. Is hope important? Explain.
14. What happens after you die? Does your individual identity or
consciousness continue to exist? What are the implications?
15. Is the idea of the meaning of human life essential to the idea of hope?
Explain.
16. Is the idea of right and wrong essential to the idea of meaning?
Explain.
17. What have been some of the most important influences on you for
what you value and believe?
18. What spiritual practices do you have? Prayer, centering prayer,
meditation, scripture reading, worship, singing, other.
19. Does moral accountability only happen within the legal systems of
nations? Is there ultimate accountability in a venue after death? What are
the implications?
20. If people are reborn into new lives, what if anything determines the
nature or quality of their existence? What are the implications?
21. Comment on this statement: “Many people think only tangible things
are real, yet the same people admit intangible things are most important:
love, compassion, empathy, justice, morality, consciousness, wisdom,
human value, meaning of life, and eternity... for without these, life is void
and vain, and aspirations mere illusions.”
- 53 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
22. Have you ever experienced what you believe to be a sign or
communication from God or other spiritual being?
23. What is your view of this statement? “Humans are spiritual beings
existing in physical bodies.”
24. Do you believe you have convincing evidence of spiritual reality?
25. What is your idea of an ideal society? World? Life?
26. When does an individual human life begin?
27. What is the essence of the self?
28. Do you believe angels and demons exist?
29. Do you believe everyone after death goes to heaven or to hell?
30. Do you believe the superior reasoning power has ever communicated
with humanity?
31. How open are you to exploring different aspects of spirituality?
32. If you saw someone raise the dead, what would you think or do?
33. If you saw a person die and then you saw him alive again a few days
later, what would you think or do?
34. Comment on the statement: “Humans are a parasite infestation of the
earth.”
35. How can you prove to anyone else that you are aware of yourself,
your own consciousness?
36. Describe a healthy relationship.
37. How important is your spirituality to your life? And do you want your
spirituality to increase or decrease?
38. If we are made in the image of God, what qualities do we share with
God?
- 54 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
39. Read Isaiah, chapter 53, written in 700 BC. Who is being described?
See other amazing examples of future-telling here or
http://goo.gl/uM1e7p
40. Do you now belong to or have you thought of joining a spiritual
community to strengthen your values and beliefs for making healthy
choices, to acquire a foundation of hope and meaning for direction and
optimism, and to receive support and encouragement to face major life
difficulties?
41. How has this questionnaire affected your awareness of your belief in
non-material things?
Final instructions: Count the number of questions for which you
struggled to give a sincere answer, and then subtract the number from the
number 41. The answer is your Spirituality Score.
How to use this assessment: Whatever your score may be, give further
consideration to questions you are unsure about or for which you have
difficulty giving a response.
Calculating Your Spirituality Score
1. Make a mark indicating any question for which you feel unable to give a satisfactory answer or that you find especially challenging. 2. Add the number of marks in #1 and subtract this number from 41. 3. The answer to #2 is your Spirituality Score. NOTE: This score and your answers to questions are to be used only by you and anyone to whom you grant permission. Total number of questions 41 Number of difficult questions Your Spirituality Score
For assistance to explore or discuss your score, email [email protected]
- 57 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Counseling for Depression
Depression can be caused by chemical changes in the body, physical illness, and different types of loss. Very often, depression and anxiety are the result of self-defeating life patterns forming unhealthy neural pathways that can be healed by incorporating caring self-talk and by supporting self-worth and assertiveness. We tend to do to ourselves and to others that which was done to us in childhood. Now as adults we must give to ourselves all the healthy things we needed from healthy parents. Here are some things to do to change the inner-dialogue foundations of depression and anxiety:
Step 1. Write down the negative things you think about yourself, others, and your circumstances.
This activity will bring to your conscious awareness the negative thinking and self-talk that is common to many kinds of depression and anxiety. The negative and self-critical self-talk demoralizes the ego and manifests as feeling down, blue, sad, anxious, fearful and self-doubting. This low mood and anxiety then affect sleeping, eating, and low energy. Common examples of negative self-talk are: I am incapable, I can't do it, I am unlovable, I am a failure, I failed again, I can't do it, No one wants to talk to me, No one cares about me, etc.
Step 2. Write down statements that are self-caring, nurturing, reassuring, supportive, and validating.
This exercise helps to identify the opposites of the negative self-talk: I can do it, I have strengths and abilities, I am caring and kind, I can get what I need and want, I deserve to be happy, I can succeed, I am just as important and valuable as anyone else, My pain is normal for what I have been through, etc.
Step 3. Write down negative things parents said or communicated to you when you were growing up.
Here you can write down what you thought parents felt about you by what they said or did such as: I wish you were never born, I do not like you, I do not care about you, I care about alcohol more than I care about you, I
- 58 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
do not want to be around you, You are in the way, You are a bother, You should be seen but not heard, You can’t do that, You could have done better, You will never amount to anything, Don’t cry, etc.
Step 4. Write down things you needed or wanted parents to say to you as a child.
Here you can write the things you wanted or needed parents to say or do such as: I love you no matter what happens, I am so glad you are in my life, You can succeed, It's OK to cry when you're hurt, Everything will be OK, I felt the same as you sometimes, Imagine the possibilities. You are good at that, You are so helpful, You are so kind and caring, etc.
Step 5. Write down what you would do or say if you saw another child being treated the way you were treated in #3.
If you heard someone say mean things to a child or slap a child, what would you say? Maybe you would say things like: You have no right to say that, Be nice to the child, The child needs your love, You need to support your child and be reassuring and caring and loving and affectionate, You need to be encouraging, etc.
Step 6. If you had all the positive things as a child that you needed from healthy parents, how do you imagine your life might be different today?
If your parents had said encouraging, caring, and supportive things to you as a child, how do you imagine your life might be different today? This step helps you formulate and create a vision for how your life can be different in a healthy way. Depression that comes from negative self-talk is a form of self-abandonment and self-abuse. The ultimate self-abuse and self-abandonment is self-harm and suicidal thinking. Conversely, hope, optimism, self-worth, and self-confidence form the basis of a stable mood and sense of security, safety, confidence, well-being, inner peace, personal power, and happiness.
- 59 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Step 7. Now you must be for yourself all the things that you needed your parents to be for you: encouraging, nurturing, loving, caring, supportive, and reassuring.
This means you need to say to yourself and be for yourself all the positive things you needed from healthy parents. If no one else can give you the caring that you need, who does that leave? Ultimately, you are the one who must care for you. So this means you must choose healthy people to be in your life, and you must be supportive of yourself and of that other healthy caring person you have chosen to be in your life. In this way you will be caring of yourself. Another important piece is to stand up for yourself and support yourself when you are treated badly by others.
Step 8. You must be assertive.
Stand up for yourself by saying things like: I don't like your tone, I deserve
more respect than that, I deserve a raise in salary, I feel annoyed
when...., etc. Take care of that little boy or girl who was abused and
mistreated. That little boy or girl is still inside you and needs your
protection. Be for yourself now what you needed then as a child. Will you
stand up for him or her? When will you start?
The Angel View
When depressed some years ago because of a painful loss, I was sinking
and stuck in despair. Then I thought that the angels are watching, looking
down from above, and able to see my life from beginning to end. They
can see the valleys and mountains of my life, and they are wondering how
I will face the present challenge. Will I be stopped and give up, defeated?
Or will I move forward and on to the next challenge?
On realizing this and seeing my life from beginning to end, I understood
that life is an adventure with obstacles and opportunities, mountains and
valleys. I concluded that my life will change if I can persevere. I saw that
the sense of loss and depression were only temporary and that other
challenges await. When I saw the angel view, my depression lifted, and I
felt free to go forward in my life knowing that I am able to move through
the momentary difficulties and challenges of life.
- 61 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
More Transformative Thoughts
Suggested Use: As you think about and affirm each statement below, try to be aware of emotions that come up inside you.
1. “It’s easy to think that only tangible things are real, yet intangible things are most important.”
2. “Facing what is most difficult to talk about may be most important
to your healing.”
3. “You could not choose what happened in your childhood, but you can choose what you do now.”
4. “Most people are sincerely trying to believe and do what is right
and true.”
5. “If you knew the whole story of a person, you would suspend judgment.”
6. “Only God knows the heart. I do not even know myself completely.”
7. “Wherever good is done, God is found.”
8. “God, grant mercy to all who through no fault of their own, are
unable to believe.... including me.”
9. “If something seems hard to do, and you know it’s right and good to do, do it anyway.”
10. “Death is imminent for everyone.”
11. “If you are aware of God’s presence in every moment now, you can
welcome death as a doorway into the full awareness of God’s presence.”
12. “For one who loves God, whatever happens will be good.”
13. “Every moment is a gift. Since life is short, don’t waste it on poor
unhealthy choices.”
- 62 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
14. “It’s easier to receive criticism when you think of it as a gift or you
think of the critic as well-intentioned.”
15. “To accept others, think of them as precious hurt children needing help walking in adult bodies, and know that everyone is broken.”
16. “There is always a story of personal pain behind the hurt that
people do to others.”
17. “Everyone has a tendency to repeat and perpetuate aspects of painful unresolved conflicts and losses.”
18. “To see God, open the eyes of your heart.”
19. “Teach that God demands perfect obedience and faith, then try to
fully believe and obey all God says, then fall on your knees and cry mercy.”
20. "God, grant mercy and forgiveness for all my failures to believe
and obey all your will for me."
21. “To transform an enemy into a friend, tell him how caring he is, then he will expect himself to be caring.”
22. “It takes courage to face your own pain, yet this is the path of
healing.”
23. “Empathy for self and others is the key to inner peace and world peace.”
24. “What is the most important thing you can do with your life, and
what are the spiritual implications?
- 65 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Identity Awareness
for Individuals and Groups
A sense of identity is important for individual and group mental health.
The identity of an individual or group can be clarified and supported by
exploring factors related to the existence of the entity. Included in the
short-form questionnaire are items pertaining to historical and current
factors as well as the future vision or goals. Memories are major
contributors to identity as well as values and beliefs as a foundation of
vision formation. The following questions may help clarify your identity.
1. Historical: Who Were You? Origin: date and place, names and
identifying characteristics of the members; purpose, practices, values and
beliefs of the family or group.
Who are the ancestors, before the origin, and what have they contributed
to your identity?
What trauma, conflict, and loss have occurred since the origin?
How have the values and beliefs changed since the origin?
Who and what have been most influential in your life (or group)?
What historical photographs, writings, interviews with senior members,
and other materials are available?
2. Current: Who Are You?
What are the current demographics: ages, ethnicities, genders, family
characteristics, occupations?
What are the current values and beliefs?
Who and what are most influential in your life (or group)?
- 66 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
3. Vision: Who Do You Want To Be?
Based on your historical and current values, and beliefs, and
circumstances, what are your goals for the future? for the coming year?
for the next five years? for the next ten years? for the next fifty years?
What is the most important thing you can do with your life?
What is your vision or hope for future generations?
Who and what do you hope will be most influential?
- 67 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
Appendix:
How To Become A Christian
A Course in the Psychology of Jesus
- 69 -
Want to learn more? Visit www.wbschool.org
How To Become A Christian
71
Prepared by Daniel Keeran, MSW, Victoria, Canada.
No rights reserved. Print and distribute freely. Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture references are from the New International Version. Date of Publication: October 28, 2012 ISBN-13: 978-1479389957 ISBN-10: 1479389951
Translate this book into your own language here
https://translate.google.com
Printed in the United States of America.
75
CONTENTS
How To Use This Guide 75
Foretold 77
God With Us 77
Death, Burial, and Resurrection of Christ 77
The Lamb Sacrificed For Our Sins 78
What Jesus Wants Everyone To Do 78
Forgiveness of Sins 78
Crucified With Him 79
How To Be Happy 79
Why Be Baptized 80
Encouraging Words 80
Shall We Go On Sinning After Baptism? 82
What About Little Children? 84
Can One Be Forgiven After Baptism? 84
How To Stay Faithful To God 85
A Final Question 85
Messianic Prophecies Fulfilled 87
What People Say About This Book 93
About the Compiler 97
77
How To Use This Guide
Reading this guide will change your life. If you want to help someone decide to become a Christian, ask the person to read the scriptures aloud from this guide book or from the Bible. Then ask them to read and answer the questions aloud. Then ask the person if they believe what they have read. Another approach is to refer to the guide while inviting the person to read the scripture verses from their own Bible. Then after each reading, ask the corresponding questions from the guide. If you are not yet a Christian, simply read the scriptures and answer the questions for yourself. If you decide you want to become a Christian as described in this guide, contact the person who gave you this booklet or find a Christian community by doing searches on the internet or email the compiler at [email protected] God bless you as you travel farther down the path that leads to a life of love, compassion, peace, and adventure in reaching the lost.
79
FORETOLD
Read Isaiah 53 (written in the 8th century before Christ)
Question: Who is this chapter speaking about?
GOD WITH US
Read Matthew 1:21-23 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins. All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel (which means “God with us”).
Question: According to the verses above, who is Jesus and what was he to save people from?
Do you believe it?
Read John 1:1-3,14 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.... The Word became flesh and lived among us.
Question: According to the verses above, who was the Word?
Do you believe it?
Read John 20:28-29 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
Question: According to the verses above, who is Jesus?
Do you believe it?
DEATH, BURIAL, AND RESURRECTION OF CHRIST
Read 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 Now, brothers and sisters, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain. For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures....
80
Question: According to the verses above, what must we believe that is of first importance?
Do you believe it?
THE LAMB SACRIFICED FOR OUR SINS
Read John 1:29 The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!
Read 1 John 4:10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Question: According to the verses above, what did Jesus do?
Do you believe it?
WHAT JESUS WANTS EVERYONE TO DO
Read Matthew 28:18-20 Then Jesus came to them and said, All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
Read Mark 16:15-16 He said to them, Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.
Question: According to the verses above, what does Jesus want everyone to believe and do to be saved?
Do you believe it?
FORGIVENESS OF SINS Read Luke 24:46-49 He told them, “This is what is written: The Messiah will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.”
Question: According to the verses above, where would forgiveness of sins in Jesus’ name begin to be preached to all nations?
Do you believe it?
81
Several days after the above words were spoken, the disciples were in Jerusalem.
Read Acts 2:14,36-41 Then Peter stood up with the Eleven (apostles), raised his voice and addressed the crowd.... “Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Messiah.” When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?” Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.” With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.” Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.
Question: According to the verses above, what two things were the people told to do to receive forgiveness of sins and the Holy Spirit? Is the same promise also for us today? What did people do when they accepted the message?
Do you believe it?
CRUCIFIED WITH HIM
Read Romans 6:1-4,6 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.... 6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin...
Questions: According to the verses above, how do we enter into Christ and his death, in order to live a new life? When is a person crucified with Christ, to give up sin?
Do you believe it?
82
HOW TO BE HAPPY
Read Acts 8:32-39 This is the passage of Scripture (Isaiah 53) the eunuch was reading:
“He was led like a sheep to the slaughter, and as a lamb before its shearer is silent, so he did not open his mouth. In his humiliation he was deprived of justice. Who can speak of his descendants? For his life was taken from the earth.”
The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?” Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus. As they traveled along the road, they came to some water and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water. What can stand in the way of my being baptized?” And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him. When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing.
Question: According to the verses above, what does the eunuch want to do immediately after he was told the good news about Jesus? When does the eunuch rejoice? Why do you think he was so happy?
Do you believe it?
WHY BE BAPTIZED?
Read Acts 22:16 And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.
Question: According to the verse above, why should one be baptized?
Do you believe it?
I wonder if you have thought about being baptized for the forgiveness of your sins and to start a new life following the teaching of Christ.
ENCOURAGING WORDS
Read 2 Timothy 1:10 ...it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.
83
Read 2 Peter 1:16 For we did not follow cleverly devised stories when we told you about the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ in power, but we were eyewitnesses of his majesty.
Read 1 Peter 1:3-6 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.
Question: Do you want to be happy knowing your sins are forgiven and hopeful that you will go to heaven when you die? What will you do?
Sixth century immersion baptismal basin at Nocera Superiore, Italy
84
Crucified with Christ Fourth century immersion baptismal basin in the shape of a cross,
San Pedro Alcantara, southern Spain
SHALL WE GO ON SINNING AFTER BAPTISM?
Read Romans 6:1-5 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his.
Read Romans 6:6-13 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.
Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness,
85
but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.
Read Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Read Colossians 2:12-13 having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead. When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins...
Questions: According to the verses above, when is one done with sin, crucified with Christ, made alive with Christ, and forgiven of sins?
Read 1 Peter 3:20-21 ...in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ...
Question: According to the verses above, what saves you? What is our pledge to keep a clear conscience before God?
Do you believe it?
Immersion baptism of Christ, depicted by Paolo Veneziano, artist of the 14th century, Venice, Italy
86
WHAT ABOUT LITTLE CHILDREN?
Read Matthew 18:2-5 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”
Question: According to verses above, what is the spiritual condition of little children?
Read Acts 8:12 But when they believed Philip as he proclaimed the good news of the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women.
Question: According to the verse above, what did people do when they heard the good news of the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ? Were little children baptized?
Do you believe it? What will you do?
CAN ONE BE FORGIVEN AFTER BAPTISM?
Read Acts 8:13,18-23 Simon himself believed and was baptized.... When Simon saw that the Spirit was given at the laying on of the apostles’ hands, he offered them money and said, “Give me also this ability so that everyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.”
Peter answered: “May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.”
Question: According to the verses above, what was Simon told to do to be forgiven when he sinned after being baptized?
Do you believe it?
Read 1 John 1:8-9 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
87
Read 1 John 2:1 My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.
Question: According to the verses above, how can we be forgiven of sins committed after baptism?
Do you believe it? HOW TO STAY FAITHFUL TO GOD
Read Hebrews 3:12-14 See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end.
Read Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Question: According to the verses above, what can help us stay faithful to the end?
Do you believe it? What will you do?
A FINAL QUESTION: HOW SOON WERE PEOPLE BAPTIZED?
Read Acts 2:40-41 With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.” Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.
Read Acts 8: 35-38 Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture (Isaiah 53) and told him the good news about Jesus. As they traveled along the road, they came to some water and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water. What can stand in the way of my being baptized?” And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him.
88
Read Acts 16: 32-33 Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized.
Question: According to the verses above, how soon were people baptized after they heard the message or good news about Jesus? Why do you think they wanted to be baptized so soon?
What will you do?
Mosaic of the immersion baptism of Christ
13th century, Florence, Italy
Are you thinking of being baptized to receive the forgiveness of your sins, new life, and the Holy Spirit?
To find someone to assist you to be baptized, email Daniel at [email protected]
Or phone 1-778-433-1547
89
Messianic Prophecies Fulfilled HOW CAN WE KNOW JESUS IS THE ONE WHO WAS PROMISED TO SAVE THE
WORLD?
"As to this salvation, the prophets who prophesied of the grace that would
come to you made careful searches and inquiries, seeking to know what person
or time the Spirit of Christ within them was indicating as He predicted the
sufferings of Christ and the glories to follow. It was revealed to them that they
were not serving themselves, but you, in these things which now have been
announced to you through those who preached the gospel to you by the Holy
Spirit sent from heaven-- things into which angels long to look."
- 1 Peter 1:10-12
Given the eyewitness accounts of the life of Jesus of Nazareth are accurate, the following details selected below out of hundreds contained in ancient Hebrew writings (Old Testament) that pre-date Jesus, appear to confirm his identity as the Messiah, the promised one who would save Israel as well as the Gentiles who turn to God. 1. He would be born in the town of Bethlehem. - Micah 5:2 (700 BC) fulfilled in Matthew 2:1-6 Micah 5:2 But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times. Matthew 2:1-5 After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.” When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Messiah was to be born. “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written…”
90
2. He would be born of a virgin. - Isaiah 7:14 (700 BC) fulfilled in Matthew 1:18-25 Isaiah 7:14 Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. Matthew 1:18 This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. 3. He would perform miracles. – Isaiah 35:5-6 (700 BC) fulfilled in all the gospel accounts Isaiah 35:5-6 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. 4. He would calm the storm.- Psalm 107:29 (1000 BC) fulfilled in Mark 4:39 Psalm 107:29 He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. Mark 4:39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. 5. He would speak in parables. – Psalm 78:2 (1000 BC) fulfilled in Mark 4:34 Psalm 78:2 I will open my mouth with a parable; I will utter hidden things, things from of old. Mark 4:34 He did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything. 6. He would enter Jerusalem as a lowly king, riding on a donkey. – Zechariah 9:9 (500 BC) fulfilled in Matthew 21:6-9 Zechariah 9:9 Rejoice greatly, Daughter Zion! Shout, Daughter Jerusalem! See, your king comes to you, righteous and victorious, lowly and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.
91
Matthew 21:6-8 The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. 7. The price of his betrayal would be thirty pieces of silver. – Zechariah 11:12-13 (500 BC) fulfilled in Matthew 26:14-15 and Matthew 27:3-10 Zechariah 11:12-13 I told them, “If you think it best, give me my pay; but if not, keep it.” So they paid me thirty pieces of silver. And the Lord said to me, “Throw it to the potter”—the handsome price at which they valued me! So I took the thirty pieces of silver and threw them to the potter at the house of the Lord. Matthew 26:14-15 Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. Matthew 27:3-10 When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. The chief priests picked up the coins and said, “It is against the law to put this into the treasury, since it is blood money.” So they decided to use the money to buy the potter’s field as a burial place for foreigners. 8. His death would be as a sacrificial lamb. – Isaiah 53:5-8,10-11 (700 BC) fulfilled in John 1:29 Isaiah 53:5-8 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his
92
generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished. John 1:29 The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” 9. Lots would be cast for his garment. – Psalm 22:18 (1000 BC) fulfilled in John 19:23-24 Psalm 22:18 They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment. John 19:23-24 When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. “Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.” This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled that said, “They divided my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.” So this is what the soldiers did. 10. His manner of death (crucifixion): hands and feet pierced. – Psalm 22:16 (1000 BC) fulfilled in Matthew 27:38 (see nail marks in his hands in John 20:25) Psalm 22:16 Dogs surround me, a pack of villains encircles me; they pierce my hands and my feet. John 20:25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” 11. Specific words would be spoken by those mocking him at his death. – Psalm 22:7,8 (1000 BC) fulfilled in Matthew 27:42-43 Psalm 22:7,8 All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads. “He trusts in the Lord,” they say, “let the Lord rescue him. Let him deliver him, since he delights in him.” Matthew 27:42-43 “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in
93
him. He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” 12. He would be buried in a rich man’s tomb. – Isaiah 53:9 (700 BC) fulfilled in Matthew 27:57-60 Isaiah 53:9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth. Matthew 27:57-60 As evening approached, there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who had himself become a disciple of Jesus. Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus’ body, and Pilate ordered that it be given to him. Joseph took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock. 13. After his death, he would return to life. – Isaiah 53:10-11 (700 BC) fulfilled in Matthew 28:5-6 Isaiah 53:10-11 Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand. After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities. Matthew 28:5-6 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.” 14. He would be Light to the Gentiles. – Isaiah 42:1; Isaiah 49:6 (700 BC) fulfilled in Luke 2:29-32 Isaiah 42:1 “Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him, and he will bring justice to the nations.” Isaiah 49:6 he says: “It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth.”
94
Luke 2:29-32 “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you may now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all nations: a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of your people Israel.” 15. He would bring a new testament or covenant. – Jeremiah 31:31 (600 BC) fulfilled in Luke 22:20
Jeremiah 31:31 “The days are coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the people of Israel and with the people of Judah.”
Luke 22:20 In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.” Do you believe Jesus of Nazareth is the one who was foretold by the ancient Hebrew prophets; the divine son of God who came to earth, died for the sins of the world, and rose to life again?
95
WHAT PEOPLE SAY
ABOUT THIS BOOK
Phyllis B. (Oklahoma-Catholic) “It is so inspirational! Just the little I've read, brought me
to God's dwelling place, and I can see how it'd be very effective! Very beautiful,
Daniel!”
Cherylyn Roddenberry (Florida – Mennonite) “I believe there is great potential for
effectiveness. It is well written and the questions are thought provoking. I think it
would be a great witnessing tool.”
Febin John (Bangalore – YWAM) “It's really fantastic, Mr. Daniel. Awesome.....
Explained well too... God Bless you....”
Miguel Abaunza (El Paso – Catholic) “I believe that this would be an excellent and
effective tool to evangelize.”
Sean St. Jean (Vancouver- Church of Christ) “I just read through your booklet and I
really like it. Specifically, I like that it is Jesus-focused, built on scripture references, and
generally keeps to the essentials.... Of course one could argue that there are many
additional points that ought to be communicated when leading someone to Christ, but
I think you do a fine job of communicating the fundamentals. I hope that helps, and
good luck! I am sure that God is already blessing your efforts.”
Deanna Magistad (British Columbia) “Sir, I have read your booklet. It was easy to open
and read. I do believe it has potential and can be effective.”
Donna Saumell Golder (California - Catholic) “I very much like your booklet. It is to the
point and contains all of the important elements addressed to adults. Thank you for
this wonderful booklet. Our Lord desires each soul He created to know and love Him.”
Peter Tucker (New York – Anglican) “Well done from a road-to-Damascus (Bible)
perspective.”
Sam Lalonde (Victoria, British Columbia – Church of Christ) “Hey Dan, I just scrolled
through the booklet you sent me. I definitely like the simplicity, yet effectiveness of the
message the booklet is trying to send to the reader. The format is good. I give it a
thumbs up! Thanks for sending it to me.”
Nathaniel Ogden Kidd (Wisconsin – Anglican) “Without question, to the extent it IS
effective, it is a very clear testament to the Scriptures as the core and foundation of
96
Christian faith and theology. I appreciate that emphasis -- whatever ways we win
people to Christ, this certainly needs to be emphasized, and the sooner we can get
people thinking this way, the better.”
Suzanne Gyles (New York – Catholic) “Good morning, Daniel. Thank you for the booklet.
I appreciate it and had no trouble downloading on my tablet. I will print it and give it to
my family.”
Victoria Patricia (Philadelphia – Catholic) “You did an excellent job as always, Daniel! I
enjoyed reading this! I think it may be helpful to those who choose to read it.”
Barry Leonard (Kentucky – Methodist) “I think this would be a very effective tool for
evangelism, especially in a discipling situation, One-on-one or in a group. I like the
logical progression of the material and the way it is laid out. Thanks for allowing me to
preview this and to comment on it.”
Shawn Paden (Texas – Church of Christ) “It looks good to me. Keep up the good work”
(1 Cor. 15:58).
West Nigeria Christian College: “The booklet is definitely a solid potential and very
effective means of evangelism. It has a general link of better understanding of
salvation. God bless you.”
Diana Cooper (California - Baptist) “Hello Daniel, I very much enjoyed your booklet, and
I think that it has the potential for effectiveness in the very best of ways. I understood
it; in fact it was very well understood. I personally liked the layout, and being a child of
God is a very special place. Yes we ask for forgiveness through Jesus Christ, but we also
need to be baptized. I would enjoy reading some other books, God Bless.”
Roger L. Leonard (Georgia - Church of Christ) “I think the booklet is clear and
straightforward. Well done. Do you mind sharing the program used to make this
electronic book?”
Towers Chelsea (Tennessee) “I enjoy reading and found it very interesting from the
start. It started off well. The time flow was well designed. I was very impressed with the
visual pictures that were added. I was trying also to figure out what particular audience
of readers you were or maybe applying to in this book. Could you have been writing to
someone who backslide and need a refresher or a person who do not know Christ at all
who needs a starter? But according to your title the answer is well enough said. I say
thank you for writing such material and hope to see you continue to share God's words.
Thanks.”
97
Denise Gansmann (Illinois – Pentecostal) “Well it seemed OK to me....a person new to
Christianity needs simple basics to receive ....had some nice pics to it to help it be
interesting...is simple so I like it.”
Katherine Mary Martin Osb (Alabama – Anglican) “Daniel, several thoughts and
questions: Who is the intended reader? Your Denomination only? Looks like a booklet
to be discussed with someone who has knowledge. Not sure it is a stand-alone booklet
without a mentor. But would be a good "structure" for a 1 on 1 discussion set. Thanks
for allowing me the privilege of reading and the gift of time to respond.”
Christa Smith (British Columbia – Church of Christ) “First of all, I really appreciate you
made a resource to this end. I think this is important. One thing I've learned over the
past few years in ministry is the need for breaking things down for people, helping
them interpret what is going on in their lives. I really like the part on baptism,
particularly how you've incorporated the photos of the baptismals you came across
while in Europe.”
Adaeze Emilia Mbakwe (Nigeria – Catholic) “Viewed it on Academia and consider it a
good medium for spreading the Gospel. This simple booklet contains basic truths about
our faith which every Christian should know and answers certain questions which the
curiosity of a new believer may raise. The questions you ask after each Bible Verse
makes one think deeply about what the verse says and come to their own decision
about it. Keep up the good work.”
Karen Songe (Louisiana – Catholic) “I find this guide How to Become a Christian, to be
very well laid out for the person discerning becoming a Christian, but more than that, it
gives basic answers to many Catholics who were not properly catechized in their
formative years. This of course has been the cause of a number of Catholics turning
away from the Church or even turning to another religion. This Guide reminds me of
the Baltimore Catechism, which was the way many of us learned about the Catholic
faith. I am on our RCIA team and believe it to be one effective tool to those Catholics
who were baptized, but never were catechized and did not receive the other
Sacraments of the Church. I believe you did a great job in putting this together and
offering it at no cost, showing us where your heart is. Hopefully this will lead to other
material to help many in their journey to follow the narrow path to the Father.”
James D. Suiter (Tennessee – Church of Christ) “I have read, posted and sent to many!
Great book!!”
98
Are you thinking of being baptized to receive the forgiveness of your sins, new life, and the Holy Spirit?
To find someone to assist you to be baptized, email Daniel at [email protected]
Or phone 1-778-433-1547
99
A Course in the
Psychology of Jesus Finding Purpose and Hope
"Come to Me, all who are weary and
heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take
My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I
am gentle and humble in heart, and you
will find rest for your souls."- Jesus
100
A Course in the Psychology of Jesus Finding Purpose and Hope
Location: Your home or office
Date/Time: Whenever convenient for you
You will learn principles and skills for:
• Having a healthy marriage and family
• Managing anger, conflict, and violence
• Coping with anxiety
• Understanding and demonstrating love and compassion
• Strengthening deep feelings of hope and inner peace
• Understanding and applying the power of forgiveness
• Developing wisdom
• Facing pain, suffering, addiction, and death
• Effective praying
Tuition: tuition waiver approved on request
Course Material (provided at the links below):
Are The Teachings Of Jesus Relevant Today?
https://app.box.com/s/rqir7lrvri8xvfncywdr
Radical Christianity: Peace and Justice in the New Testament
http://goo.gl/htnoj0
The Way of the Cross: an approach to pain and suffering
https://www.academia.edu/22859050/The_Way_of_the_Cross
_on_pain_and_suffering
Become A Christian http://www.box.com/lovegod
Assignments: Read the course material, then create and
design 80 or more questions and answers based on the
contents with references to the above material.
101
Instructor: Daniel Keeran, MSW, has been a counsellor and
therapist for over 30 years. He is author of Effective
Counseling Skills, founder of the College of Mental Health
Counselling, and instructor of thousands of counsellors and
individuals in the United States and Canada.
To Register, write to the instructor at [email protected]
102
About the Compiler
Daniel Keeran, MSW, has been a counselor and therapist for over 30
years in hospital and private practice settings. He is the author of
Effective Counseling Skills: the practical wording of therapeutic
statements and processes, and the founder and President of the College
of Mental Health Counseling providing practical online skill training in
counseling, for personal and professional development.