The Obsession with. Lrf",Jrrg, Khidr and the

Sufi Tiadition

What is the goal of the mystic?

The interface between religion and psychology is not a simple one;less simple is the interface between psychology and mysticism.Whereas key themes, such as searc[ journey, kansformation, self-knowledge can be seen as mufually endorsed by these two areas ofintrospective activity, the vision of the end, of the telos, of the finalgoal, may vary. The telos of the psyche, according to AnalyticalPsychology, is to achieve individuation. Although this is not the timeand I am not the person to define individuation, I think it would befair to say that individuation is the process by which the integrationof psychological opposites is attained, and by which unconsciousmaterial is raised to consciousness and is incorporated by it.Individuation is, in a way, a rounding off of the psyche and is there-fore often symbolised, in art and dreams, by mandala pattems. Nowthe principle of a mandala pattern, whether round or square, is thatit has a centre, and this centre is a point. ln Aion (CW9l vol.iipara.342), ]ung offers the following quotation from the writings ofPlotinus, the 3rd-century philosopher whose mystical philosophybecame known as Neoplatonism:

Self-knowledge reveals the fact that the soul's natural move-ment is not in a straight line ... It circles around somethinginterioq, around a centre. Now the centre is that from whichproceeds the circlg that is, the soul. The soul will thereforemove around the centre, that is, around the principle fromwhich she proceeds . .. The souls of the divinities ever direct

l Cw : Collected works

themselves toward it, and that is the secret of their divinity;for divinity consists in being attached to the centre ... (EnneadvL 9,8)

And in the same volume (para.310) Jung also quotes from thewritings of the Gnostic Naasenes:

This point, "being nothing and consisting of nothing,"becomes a "certain magnitude incomprehensible bythought."

Whereas individuation can be seen as the stage at which the hid-den circular movement of the soul arcund its centre emerges in full-flowering into the daylight of mature consciousness, the goal of themystic, as it is often expressed by Sufis as well as by other mysticaltraditions, is, conversely, to drown, or be annihilated, within the inef-fable abyss of the centre poin! within that "nothing consisting ofnothing" that is "incomprehensible by thought", that is, by con-sciousness. Sa'd al Din Shabistari, a 13th/l4th-century Persian Sufi,articulates this radical attitude in the following assertions whichstretch the boundaries of formal logic as well as those of individua-tion:

The summit of knowledge, which is 'conscious apprehen-sion', is inapprehension; foq, whereas the Real'object ofapprehension [: i.e., al-Haqq, God] is infinite, knowledge isfinite. This apprehension is a type of apprehension withoutconsciousness of either apprehension or inapprehensiorl andat this point one finds dumbfounded stupor (hayra) andabsorption in the (divine) object of apprehension ...

After the experience of this state, all sense of relationship isdissolved ... At this point the timeless summon of Truth/al-Haqq, "Whose is the Kingdom's today?" (Qur'an 49:1,6) ... isaddressed to the ear of . .. the mind-bereft wayfarer, where-upory from the emptiness of his true annihilanon(Hwla-ifana'-yi haqiqi) the answering cry returns: "It is God's, the One,the Omnipotent" (ibid., cited with slight modifications fromLeonard Lewisohn, Beyond Faith anil Infidelity,2434).

The state of "dumbfound stupor" - bewildermen! perplexity,unknowing, is often portrayed by Sufis as one of the highest of

mystical experiences. Bewilderment is certainly ranked higher thanknowledge, whether of God, World, or Self. In fact, what in this stateis brought into extreme opposition and unbearable tension is theinner-contradiction inherent in knowledge as suc[ namely, theknowledge that there can be no knowing, that certainty based uponany kind of evidence is fundamentally, and in the last resort, flawedand invalid. Immediately, in fact synchronically, this bewildermentresults in the withdrawal of the knowing ego, of that seat of con-sciousness without which, seemingly, no owning or testimony ofknowledge and the objects of knowledge can take place. The mys-tic's consciousness in some way dissolves. In the en4 as well as inthe very beginning, nothing remains. In the words of the Indian Sufimaster Bhai Sahib, "there is nothing blut nothingness."2 A very per-plexing statement indeed.

Although this is not a philosophical statement some philoso-pherq as well as mystics, have achieved the state of unknowingthrough inner reflection. For example, this is the point of departureas well as of end for those philosophers, within Christianity,|udaism and Islam, who describe the Unknowability of True Realityin terms that have been named Negative Theology. The greatmedieval ]ewish philosopheq, Moses Maimonides, in order to makethis poinf quotes biblical passages, such as Ps.97;2, "Clouds anddarkness are round about him"; or Ps. 18:12, "He made darkness Hishiding place ..." and adds:

[These verses] draw attention to the fact that the apprehen-sion of His true reality is impossible for us because of thedark matter that encompasses us and not Him ...; for nearHim there is no darkness but perpennl dazzling light theoverflow of which illuminates all that is dark . .. (The Guide ofthe Perplexed,Ift9, pp. 436-7).

And here are the opening lines of a well known text, The MysticalTheology, by an enigmatic writer who assumes the name [pseudo-]Dionysius the Areopagitg probably a 5th or 6th-century Christianmonk from Syria:

Trinity, which is beyond all Being, all Divinity and allGoodness! Guide us to that topmost height of mystic lore

2 See I. Tweedie, Ddughter of Fire, p.729.

which is beyond light and which more than exceeds knowl-edge, where the simple, absolute, and unchangeable myster-ies of heavenly h'uth lie hidden in the dazzling obscurity ofthe secret Silence, outshining all brilliance with the intensityof their darkness, and surcharging our blinded intellects withthe utterly impalpable and invisible fairness of glories whichexceed all beautyl Such be my prayer ... (cited with slightmodifications from The Mystical Theology, ch. 1, p. 191).

Countless illustrations can be adduced here from the writings ofPlotinus, Meister Eckhart, The Cloud of l-lnknowing, St. ]ohn of theCross, Teresa de Avila and many others. In our own times one thinksof the relentless and non-compromising search of Martin Heideggeq,

the allegedly atheistic philosopher in the tradition of Pheno-menology, for the essence of Being, a search which made him utterstatements such as, "Being is veiled by beings.":

In Sufi terms, this "stupor" in face of truth ltself, das ding als sich,

when it results in the withdrawal of ego consciousness, is called'annihilation' (fana'). ln my talk I shall follow the thread of thatstrange, but well documented, mystic drive for the ultimate state thatis described as nothingness, darkness, poverty and death.

The Corference of the Bitds: the parrofs excuseand the hoopoe's retort.

But what has all this to do with the vital, effervescent and ever-present figure of Khidr, the Green Man of the Sufi traditioru who her-alds mysdcal knowledge, life, growth and change?+ What has

inspired the theme of this talk in the first place are some perplexingeven disturbing, verses from The Confercnce of the Birds, a mysticalepic by the 12th-century Persian poet Farid al-Din Attar. In this epic,birds from all corners of the world set out in search of the Symorgtuthe fabulous silver bird who resides in a hidden palace beyond seven

frightful valleys. In the litany of excuses put forward by differenttypes of birds for not wishing or not being able to join in the journey,

3 For an in-depth discussion of the philosophical discourse on the unknowable,see Michael A. Sells, The Mysticnl hflguages of Unsaying,1994.4 The notion of Khidr presented in this paper is, in many ways, a sequel to thechapter 'Where Two Seas Meet: The Story of Khidr'. See S. Sviri, The Taste ofHidden Things, pp.77 -101.

the green parrot, in her [!] turn, speaks out:

If I could reassert my libertyI'd find the skeam of immortalityGuarded by Khizr - his cloak is green like mine,And this shared colour is an open signI am his equal or equivalent.Only the stream Khizr watches could contentMy thirsting soul - I have no rvish to seekThis Symorgh's throne of which you love to speak.(p. 38 in Davis-Darbandi's translation)

Now to this excuse the Hoopoe, who is the guide and leader of thebirds' expeditiory retorts first with a rebukg then with a story. Hereis the rebuke:

You are a cringing slave . ..

To think your being has no other endThan finding water and a loyal friend.... What is it you hope to gain?Your coat is beautiful, but where's your brain?Act as a lover and renounce your soul;With love's defiance seek the lover's goal.

(Note that we are dealing here with ends and goals.)

And here's the Hoopoe's teaching story:

There was a man, mad Irom love of God. Khizr said to him:"O perfect man, will you be my friend?" He replied: "You andI are not compatible, for you have drunk of the water ofimmortality so that you will always exist and I wish to giveup my life. I am without friends and do not know even howto slrpport myself. Whilst you are busy preserving your life, Isacrifice mine every day. It is better that I leave you, as birdsescape the snare, so, good-bye:' (p. 17 in C. S. Nott's transla-tion)

Why does Attar object so forcefully to the parrot's search for thewater of life, Khidr and immortality? Does Attat the poet voice herea subversive, eccentric, iconoclastic view of Khidr? Surely this is notquite univocally so, since in his opening exhortation to the Conference

of the Birds, Attar, with very positive reference to Khidr, encouragesthe reader to do the following:

Abandon self-love and you will see

The Way that leads us to Realil,v.There knowledge is your guide, and Khizr will bringClear water drawn from life's etemal spring. (p. 31 in Davis-Darbandi's translation)

Also worth considering in this context is a short poem byAbdallah Ansari (Afghanistan, 11th century); a poem that he wasinspired to write in the wake of meeting his teacher al-Kharaqani:

Abdallah was a wild and restless typeHe went to seek the source of the water of lifeBy chance he met up with al-KharaqaniAnd there he found the spring of the water of Li{eHe drank his fillUntilNor he remained nor ICraraqani.

(From Hasan Shushud, Mastos of Wisdom of Central Asia,p.123)

What, theru does Attar mean when he rebukes the parrot for ally-ing herself with Khidr and the search for the water of life rather thanwith the quest for the Symorgh? After all, in the Sufi tradition, isKhidr not the enigmatic divine messenger who has been granted bythe King Himself the mysterious hidden knowledge that has eludedeven Moses? (see Qur'an l8:fuA\

In these short snippets Attar challenges precisely those values,such as life, greenness, mystic knowledge and spiritual immortality,that conventionally, and what's more spiritually, we have learnt tocherish above all else. In the search for Go4 he urges, the genuineseeker should renounce everything. Even the water of life and all thatit stands fior; the indiuilunted consciousness must not become the goal. Asearch which is not for truth itself is not worth the effort. The sincereseeker will not be compromised or satisfied by any substitute, be thisKhidr or the water of eternal life- Attar's lovely poem, fulI ofenchanting stories and beautiful poetic language, is, in fact, anuncompromising sermon calling for total renunciation in the searchfor Truth, and this indudes life itself. And yet the poem ls lovely, it

does impress itself upon our poetic sensibilities, our sense of upliftingjoy that springs from the beauty and lightness of life and being. Canwe reconcile these two, I mean the austerity of the non-compromis-ing search with the sensuousness of the poetry, its music and itsimages? Why does love, which is the prime agent in this epic, makethe protagonists wish or be prepared to die rather than to live? Is itbecause death is a strong metaphor for union? For the cessation ofdualism? For that withdrawal of the conscious ego in the aftermathof the devastating encounter with the boundaries of knowledge? For

fana'?I was iust now listening to Start lhe Week on the radio, wherc the dis -

cussion reoolaed round "Honour killing of women in Pakistan " . Tlds act isconsidered the most puaerful deterrent for women against committing adul -

tery. Nout this makes me think, but there will always be zoomen zoho, in spiteof this ruthless deterrent, will commit what is regarded as illicit sex. Does itnot shuo that tht sextul driae is so strong that auoman, despite puttingherlife on the line, will prefer to endanger it altogether rather than gioe up theact of looe? So also the moth, who, in its all-consuming need to kntno what

fire b, k annihilated in fireb ilatouring essence. (See "The Moth and theFlame", The Conference of the Birds 1984, pp.205-207.)

Does this not unravel the function of love as passion and untiringcommitment for the search after Truth and Reality; concepts that, forSufis, converge in the divine name al-Haqq? To quote Kierkegaard (aSufi at heart if not by name), "'Essential existing', as against 'loose-ly-called existing', demands passion and commitmenfl".

Khidr and'boundary situations'.In fact there is hardly any contradiction here. Khidr is, at one and

the same time, the immortal one who has drunk from the water of lifeand who confers upon the seeker the perennial knowledge as well as

the one who heralds death and the breakdown of all that the psycheis familiar with. Life is death and death is life. Oc to somewhat honethis statement, life is within the horizon of death inasmuch as death,the breaking down of a life form, allows and heralds the appearanceof a new life form. Khidr is to be found there "where the two seasmeet". He is to be found there where the sea of life meets the sea ofdeath. Yes, he is symboli zedby the colour green; it is said of him thatwherever he treads, new shoots grow. He is the principle of life andgrowth insofm as life is ever-flowing and unceasing. He is representedby the grace of rain and by the blessing thebaraka, that radiates from

the friends of Go4 the rwliya', who, like him, are the revivers of deadsouls. But for this revival and grace to take place, old life forms, oldhabits, old understanding old knowledge, have, at all times, to be

placed on the edge, on the verge of being given up. This is often said,and it is always easier said than done. We can't escaPe our character,our temperament, our in-built conception of time, space and rela-tionships, our upbringing, our historical time, convictiont beliefqaspirations . All these are powerful determinations, but they are nottruth. Love, howeveq, can release us, and mystics ar.e in search of thatfreedom. This freedom is death, but it is death in life. In fact, it is lifeitself. Life with a capital 'Y.Life, period. Freed from predicated con-cepts and projections. Love and life, love and death are interlinked.Perhaps here lies the fundamental paradox of the mystical life.

Standing at the twilight zone, Khidr is abarznkk, an isthmuss. This'nowhere-place', this 'nonexisting line' between here and here,between now and now, does not edst, yet it makes uP our reality. Itis like imaginatio& like a dream, like a mirro4 reflecting images yetat the same time showing that reality is neither there nor not-there;that everything including our ideas and notions of God, is both itand not-it. In our post-modem parlance, Khidr is liminality or'boundary situation'or chaos, which in one stroke breaks down allour predictions and assumptions, yet at the same time yields infiniteas-yet-unknown-but-already-forthcoming possibilities.

In our times it was Karl |aspers who coined the'term'boundarysituation'. Here is what Hans Georg Gadameq, a pupil of |aspers andan eminent philosopher in his own right, says with reference to thisnotion:

)aspers described what all of the different forms of existence... have in common with the concePt of boundary situation.By boundary situations he meant such situations whoseboundary character demonstrated the limits of scientific mas-tery of the world. One such boundary situation is the appear-ance of something that no longer can be conceived of as justanother example of a general rule an4 hence, a case whereone can no longer rely on the scientific control of calculableprlocesses. Some examples of such a situation would be deattu

s On the notton of bmzalCr, especially in the mystical philosophy of Ibn al-Arabi,see The Taste of Hidilen Things, pp.s5ff.

which we all must face; guil! which everyone must carry; orthe whole formation of a person's life, in which each of us as

an individual - that one and only individual - must come torealize himself or herself. It is meaningful to say that it is pre-cisely in these boundary sifuations where what one is firstreally emerges. This emerginp this stepping out of the con-trollablg calculable reactions and ways of behaving of socialbeings, constitutes the concept of existence. (Gadamar,Heidegger sWays,5.) The emphases are mine.

And ]ung, in his well known'Conceming Rebirth', (CW9 vol.ipara.240 ff.) writes about Khidr:

He appears in the Eighteenth Sura of the Koran entitled "TheCave." This entire Sura is taken up with a rebirth mystery. Thecave is the place of rebirth, that secret cavity in which one isshut up in order to be incubated and renewed. The Koran saysof iL "You might have seen the rising sun decline to the rightof their caverrL and as it set, go past them on the left whilethey [the Seven Sleepers] stayed in the middle." The "middle"is the centre where the jewel reposes, where the incubation orthe sacrificial rite or the transformation takes place ... |ustsuch a place of the centre or of transformation is the cave inwhich those seven had gone to sleep, little thinking that theywor:ld experience there a prolongation of life verging onimmortality. When they woke, they had slept 309 years ...(Folluoing this, lung relates anil interVrets the complete story ofKridr anil Moses.)

The'boundary situationi, then, places us, every one of uq at each

and every moment, between knowing and unknowing, betweenbeing and non-being breakdown and renewal, life and death. Theseboundary situations have an affinity with homelessness, with way-faring and the non-attachment of the vagabond at heart. To dwell inperrnanence in any kind of certitude means to have reached the endof the joumey. More often than not this is a deluded state, since the

fourney does not have an end, it's aperpetuum mobile. For this reason,ideas that pertain to the everdeepening and never-ending quest fortruth are often formulated in paradoxes, in riddles, in apophatic lan-guage and at times, from the aspect of formal logic, in statements thatappear circulaf, repetitive, and empty.

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But precisely from these boundary situations - the void, the cave,the middle, the point the uncertairy unpredictable, uncharted - lifesprings. The search for the Divine Nothingness is, after all, the sameas the search for the water of life. The pendulurn always swingsbetween the two, and so too must we. It calls for letting go of all pre-conceived ideas. But mind you, even this letting go can become a

pre-conceived truism that from time to time needs to be challenged.This is what Attar does in the Hoopoe's address to the parrot. Thecertainty that life, light and consciousness always constitute a supe-rior set of values is shown from a different vantage point. Somehow,for me, it is this paradoxical figure of Khida always a barzakh (isth-mus) that enables and maintains the oscillation between truth andnon-truttu knowledge and non-knowledge apprehension and non-apprehensiory growth and breakdown, progress and regressiorybelonging and detachment, fana' andbaqa' (annihilation and perma-nence), into ever deeper layers of being and freedom.

The Familiar, Clich6s, and Renewal.

The so-called Pavlovian Classical Conditioning is at work in everydomain, even in spiritual life. Even in a keen psychological analysis,in an intuitive insight, in an emotional ecstatic response, one isrestricted by pre-conceived pattems and notions. Truth is bare. It is avibrating point with no delineation. On the r.oad to (uth, to sinceri-ty, one throws away all predicates, one a{ter another. Naked Beingwith no attributes; o{, as the Sufis would have it colourless and fea-tureless. When you are committed to a search with Khid1, it's as

though everything has to be reinvented, re-found-out. At every turna New-Found-Land. Even language must be re-forged:

When someone asked fami why he seldom used the technicallanguage of Sufism, he said: "That would be all very well ifwe wished to deceive each other for a while, turning a subjectof real importance into a verbal plaything." (Hasan Shushud,Masterc of Wisdom of Central Asia, 113.)

Khid{, thert is the principle which never abides by the familiarand the trodden path. Qushayri, an important Sufi master of the l1thcentury, in his 'Instructions to Novices' (wasiyya lil-muridin), distin-guishes between two critical states/stages that the seeker mayencounter on the path:/atra andzoaqfa. Eatra means, approximately, a

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state of regression; the wayfarer turns away, or turns round, from thepath. It is a well documented stage that teachers and disciples havebeen known to acknowledge and confront. But there is also waqfa.This means stability and hence stagnation. "The difference between

fatra and waqfa" , writes al-Qushayri, "is ttis: fatra is when the murid( : novice, seeker) tums away from his quest and walks out of it;waqfa is when he becomes comfortable on the path and stays contentin states of laziness". (Risala, 182; in Arabic) The message, therefore,seems to be, may the seeker neuer play safe!

Sincerity and the Dark Night of the Soul

It is not easy to observe, identify, and own these moments of sta-bility and stagnation. A lot of what is thought of as spiritual can bedelusional. Yet, it does happen that, as a result of a breakdown, achaotic experience, a period that the Christian mystical traditionnarnes 'the dark night of the soul', a flew aToarefiess arises, One impor-tant aspect of the 'dark night' is sincerity. When the melancholy,poinrlessness, boredom, depression are not denied but, rather choice-Iessl1; embraced and persevered iry then it might tum into a fruitful'boundary situation', one that is impregnated with new and unfore-seen possibilities. [n her seminal work Mysticism, Ev yn Underhillstudies, in-depth, this phenomenon on the mystical journey. Basingherself on the diaries of the Fnench 17th-century mystic MadameGuyon, she writes:

... Madame Guyory who has described with much elabora-tion ... her suffering during the oncoming and duration of theNight - or, as she calls it .. . the Mystic Death - traces its begin-ning in short recurrent states of privatiory or dullness of feel-ing such as ascetic writers call "andtty": in which the selfloses all interest in and affection for those divine realitieswhich had previously {illed its life. This privation followeduporL or was the reaction from, an "illuminated" period ofextreme joy and security, in which, she says, "the presence ofGod never left me for an instant ...". As Madame Guyonnever attempted to control her states, but made a point of con-forming to her own description of the "resigned soul" as"God's weathercock", we have in her an unequalled opportu-nity of study. (pp. 383-84).

I find these words, "Madame Guyon neoer attempted to control her

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states, but made a point of conforming to her outn description of the

'resigneil soul' as 'God's weathercock"', deep and worth pondering.

States of darkness and nothingness may sometimes seem as our ownfault as though there's not enough light in us, as though we have

misunderstood something, erred and have done something wrong.

Someti;nes it takes on an aspect of betrayal; we accuse ourselves of

having betrayed truth, God, the Teacher, the Tiaditiory the Path, etc.

At such states or stations we may be left with one asset only, sinceri-

ty; the fact that we are not prepared to falsify or deny the truth of ourrit rutiott rt lf is, without masks - lowly, humiliated, deprived of lightand meaning. So be it. Aterm of resignation. If the Emperor is naked"

so be it. Perhaps the message in this parable goes deeper than whatat first glance meets the eye. The Emperor is naked, meaning: king-strlp, truth, is indeed naked. Ti'uth does not wear any clothes.-So

where is its majesty? Where is its beauty? Its many attributes that

clothes it as befits royalty? The mystic is plunged into the void and

darkness of the abyss of nudity and has only this truth to hold on to,

however much it devastates him or her. The Emperor is naked. Andwhere do I go from here?

The Man Made of Rain

Khidr must not be left a mythological image, a dream apparitior;a revered icon, an archetype - inspiring and revealing as this rnay be.

His essence, symbolized in the Sufi tradition by rain, must be

brought to life by our particular needs and circumstances, by our par-

ticular need for livingreally, with as few preconceptions as possible.

For him to be at worlg we have to bring him to our level of quest' Ifwe are novices, he'll have something to say to us from the level and

in the idiom, of novicehood. If we have reached some maturity, he'lladdress us afresh from that level; perhaps calling uPon us to heed

our time, our contemporaries, to open up to the images of our cul-

tur€, to its pains and dreams, to its aspirations which we, too,

embody. He will call upon us to partake, to not withdraw, to not wrapourselves with judgmental and self-righteous morality. Yes, ours is a

consumerist culture. Yes, the internet is brimming with child-abusivepornography. Yes, journalism, in the name of democradc duty, breeds

and is bred by sensationalism and profiteering. Yes, communal insti-tutions have become ruled by the principle of cost-effectiveness. Yes,

our cities have become more pollute4 more crowded, more stiflinpmore dangerous. Yes, political correchtess is a shallow Pretence and

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hidden bigotry. Yes, who knows what the new millennium has instore ... more earthquakes? tornadoes? cyclones? deluge? ethnic

cleansings? mass emigration? But I am not better than anyone else inthat cultural theatre in which my life, too, is played out. I am part and

parcel. I live, as we all do, ln the eye of the storm- I have no immuni-iy from the on-goings, be they cataclysmic or ordinary. Anything can

happery anytime, anywhere, to anyone, including me. And yet I liae

witiin the horizott of Kddr, the principle of being, with the possibility of

t'ormer inoenting and allowing nat) Taays of being' This, only this, grants

me a measure of freedom from identifying with anything- So I am

neither attached nor detached. At leas! to a certain degree, I am, and

in order to give this fundamental sense of being space for expansion,

I keep mq doortoays a?en to all directions.

Something has been at work. Yet time is needed. Khidr, a messen-

ger from being who can exist only when I exist, is the master of wait-ing, of hiding, of simulating absences. I know about absences. Yet

something has been at work, as before, so many times be{ore; foggi-ness and aimlessness ('being in the wrong film'), when I lose the

capacity to truly exist.Then, in the haze-covered woods, a raw pathemergeE and therg beyond the tyranny of the past, he is; alive, fresh,

new, present. \,Vinking. .. . What is present is sometimcs present on a

very basic level in a simple joy; warm food, cool wateq, the way the

breeze in February caresses the green as-yet-nonbudding stems ofda{fodils; the freshness that comes with rairl the notes of a simplemelody, a joke ... These things are signs of healing, the healing of the

wounds of the aching soul in her night. You know the fable about the

princess who forgot how to laugh. The king who loved her was readyto give his kingdom for any man who'd make her laugh. Laugh andlife and the greenness of Khidr - his playfulness, his trickster quali-ty. Plapng is relating. Plapng is changing places, changing roles.

Plapng is the exhilaration of winning and the shame of losing, butneiiher for too long; the principle of motiorL temporality, cherishingthe moment. Beggars become kings, kings become beggars, and Lifeflows on! There's here a link with the future, with new possibilities,with coruing to fruition, with maturntion, withbecoming what one is, andfinally, with death.

To end, here are two direct experiences of 'Life' in liminal situa-tions. The first occurred to me in a street in Oxford. The second

occurred in a Dublin intensive care ward, where a man made of rainappeared to a poet who had just had a quadruple bypass operation.

August 21,7998

This morning, at the junction of Queen Street and New InnHall, approximately opposite Argos, two old ladies. Tiny,slow, uniform, both wearing identical navy-blue blazers thatcould have been bought at a schooi outfit store, or at a churchfete. For a moment, walking arm-in-arm, the sun bathes intheir curly white hair. They are alioe.

There is ztery little thnt I can say by zoay of interpretation. My mnnorycannot nfiD produce the immediacy, poignancy and aiaidness of theutitnessing of Life embodied in these hno anontlmous old ladies; euen less socan my words. All I can say is that, through the experience then and itsabsence nozo, I know that oery seldom are zoe gioen to witness life. All thntwe normally witness are the motions of Life" This sounds almost theological.But then, pondering it theologically will take it euen further moay from theprimacy of the experience itself. Das ding als sich.

October 1995

The Irish poet Brendan Kerurelly went through a quadruplebypass operation. He writes:

The day after the operation I had a number of visions .. . I sawa man made of rain. He was actually raining ... His raineyeswere candid and kind glowing dowry into, and throughthemselves. He spoke to me and took me to jorrrneys ... Hetook me into brilliant confusions to experience thrilling defi-nitions, or moments of definition. He taught me the meaningof presence, what it means to be truly and futly in somebody'spresence, a process of complete dreamsurrender to another'sreality at its most articulate and vital ... (from the'Note'toThe Man Made of Rain,7).

ln the winter that followed his operation, while convalescingBrendan Kennelly wrote a long poem based on his experiences,visions, and insighb. He named ltThe Man Made of Rain.I happenedto hear him reading from this poem on the radio in December 199,when, having just returned home from a talk on Khidr I had deliveredin Oxfor4 I switched on the radio at random. Here is what I heard:

Between living and dyingis the calmest place I've ever been.He stood opposite me and smiled.

'14 l5

I smiled too, I think, because this was the first timeI'd seen a man made of rain . ..The rain poured through him,through his eyes, face, neck, shoulders, ches! all his bodybut no rain reached the ground,It ended at his skin.

He looked at me with eyes of rainand said, "I'll be coming to see younow and then from this moment on.Today, I'm colours, all colours.Look at me, I'll be colours againbut different next time, maybe.See my colours today.

I looked. I saw the flesh of rair;I looked into and through the rainand saw colours I'd never seen before.As I looked, the colours began to dancewith each other ...

F{e never asked me to trust him but Iwould trust the man made of rainto the lip and into the mouth and bellyof eternity, it isn't even a question of trustmore of the kind of interest you findwhen you put aside the fear of dyingand look at the lightor listen to the sound of wateror pay attention to pigeonsor her hair when she's unaware ...It is calm in the place beyond trustand especially calm if you walk therein the company of your own hurt,in the company of the man made of rainpouring beside you ...

He steps forward . .. he vanishes,nowhere to be seerlthe silver rain is everywhere ...

where live and diesecret and opendark and lightchaos and wonderplan

are widear,'.'ale in i.he heart of sleep.

(The Mm Made of Rain,15-77)

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Kennelly, Brendan. The Man Made of Rain. Newcastle-upon-Tpre 1998

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