That's Jack Cione's shovv, folks! - eVols

Volume 10, Number 11, March 15 ~ 21, 2000 www.honoluluweekly.com F E

PHOTO ILJ.USTRATION: NICHOLAS F. GERVAIS

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Glitter and feathers, fire dancers and d iters: That's Jack Cione's

shovv, folks!

All goody, all the time.

Jennifer Lopez On The 6

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Amel Larrieux Infinite Possibilities

2 • March 15 - 21, 2000 • Honolulu Weekly

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Letters

Loving the aliens "The Aliens Are Coming" by

Robert M. Rees (HW, 2/2) raises an important point, but does so in a manner that gives the "bad guys" a perfect defense. Although I generally enjoy Mr. Rees' writing, he, in this article, seems to have tried for a sensational lead with a composite, but culturally unlikely, person.

Fact error: He writes 50,000 aliens. The total population of the Northern Marianas, even allowing for a high figure of 10,000 illegal aliens, is only 65,000, with 31,000 of those being counted American citizens, 5,000 nonislanders and 26,000 Chamolinians (Chamorros and Carolinians).

The garment factories, of which there are less than 30, have about 300 to 500 employees each. The lawsuit, funded by the United Needle Industry Trade Employees (UNITE), the American garmentfactory workers union, only filed for garment-factory workers, maybe 15,000 workers, not 50,000. It did not file for workers in the sex industry or tourist industry, two other legs of the Northern Marianas' fourlegged economy, which also have abusive employers. (The fourth is government, which provides 12,000 jobs for the local residents.)

Composite: Highly unlikely that the pregnant Bangladeshi garment worker exists. Filipina, Chinese, Thai,

HONOLULU

Vol. 10, No. 11 March 15 - 22, 2000

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Nepalese, yes. But Bangladesh is a Muslim country; in my two-plus years organizing workers on Saipan I never met or heard of a Bangladeshi female on the island.

There are lots of Bangladeshi males getting screwed royally, but they left their women home, as do most Muslims. The men did pay from $8,000 to $18,000 to get jobs in "America," not knowing that aliens cannot do that from Saipan.

This raises the point that the trial in Hawai 'i will be a farce. Why? Neither side will be allowed to bring in a full complement of witnesses. The Chinese are all from the People's Republic of China and will not be granted visas to come. The Filipinos will have to leave their jobs and return to the Philippines to get visas to come. The Thais will have to do the same. Those from Bangladesh won't get visas.

Maybe the 20 original complainants will get paroled in, if the U.S. Department of Justice sides with them; otherwise, only the few who UNITE has paid to bring to the United States, all Filipinos, will be here to testify. The employer will bring a few of their paid witnesses; the court will never hear the truth and will dump the case.

UNITE should have accepted my invitation in 1996 to come to Saipan and help me organize the garment factories. Instead, it has opted to try to put them out of business, forcing those workers to return to abject poverty in the Philippines, and the rest to jobs paying one-tenth of the $3.05 per hour paid in the Marianas.

How do I know? I was the American Union Organizer for Guam and the Marianas from 1995 to late 1997, when I was medically disabled. I did organize three hotels, one restaurant and, with the work of my successors, two flight kitchens and a tour bus company. We also tri_!;!d the garment factories and took one shot at the sex industry.

Mr. Rees' errors give the employer a defense: The sensationalistic example given does not exist; the facts stated are wrong, and therefore the case needs be dismissed. That's the defense used with congressional investigations that have gone before.

There are real examples, real horror stories and real numbers that indicate real problems. These should be attacked and resolved in a winwin scenario: more money and better conditions for the workers, an adequate return for the owners and a continued improvement of living conditions for all.

So long as the do-gooders continue to sensationalize, with inaccurate stories and facts, the greedy will continue to screw everybody they can. Unfortunately, the do-gooders are paid for their misbegotten attempts, so only the workers continue to lose.

Elwood Mott

Robert M. Rees replies: The 50,000 number I used is accurate. The suit is a class action that "consists of all persons other than Saipan resident citizens who, at any time since January 1988, have been employed on Saipan as a factory garment worker for one or more of the Contractor Defendants . ... [l]t is estimated that the Class includes over 50,000 people."

Mr. Mott is right that the garment worker described in the introduction is a composite taken from people identified in the suit only as Doe I, Doe IL etc. For example, Doe IX alleges she knew "a co-worker who, upon becoming pregnant, was given

Pritchett LET THE SUNSHINE IN

an 'Abortion Pill' by defendant Top Fashion Corp. management ... "

It may be of evidentiary importance that Mr. Mott, while trying to organize the workers on Saipan through UNITE, knew workers who were gouged as much as $18,000 on the promise of "working in America." The suit alleges only $7,000.

Mr. Mott has agreed to appear on this writer's Hawai 'i Public Radio show, Talk of the Islands. Among other things, we'll address Sen. Daniel Akaka 's recent bill to impose American immigration laws on Saipan. Akaka notes that the number of foreign workers on Saipan has increased to 42,000 who "get low pay and work long hours . ... At night they are locked in. . . . If they complain, they are subject to immediate deportation at the whim of their employer. "

Rave on One could make many snide

comments about the "Clubbed to Death" columnist's beloved "live music" scene - its stagnation, its crowd, its drug problems and its flyers, but I refuse to stoop to his level ("The Problem With Destiny," HW, 3/1). I look forward to the day when Hawai'i's "live music" scene regains strength and there are quality bands again. Perhaps then all the "kids" that are going to raves right now would have some option on where to spend their nights out.

Until then, many of these kids will be at a rave. And you have to admit, those that choose to do drugs would be doing them whether they were part of the punk, rave, booty, hip hop, rock or Goth scene. They choose, not the promoter. I choose to rave sober, as do many people I know.

The columnjst seems to have latched onto one flyer and decided

that it is representative of the entire rave scene. There are many respectable and honest promoters who invest large sums of money to bring world-class DJs to Hawai 'i, rent larger and better venues, have live mixed-video projection and cuttingedge flyers. Of course one flyer doesn't show all that. Most columnists research a topic thoroughly and objectively before writing an article. Many even have interviews with various people involved with said topic. Mark Chittom does neither, and bases his writing purely on opinion, gossip and biased preconceptions.

As an individual actively involved in trying to improve the rave scene, I take great offense at such gross generalizations. "Rave" may have four letters, but it isn't a dirty word.

Got live

KimPimmel (aka DJ Spyhunter)

Mark Chittom states in his March 1 column that there is no live music scene in Honolulu, and I beg to differ. Why not avoid the DJs for a few weeks, Mark, and check out the small but lively music scene that never gets mentioned in your witty little column?

At Anna Bannana's, go see Palolo Jones, Mary's Meltdown, the Sun Drummers and the Eric Peterson Band. Be prepared for professional, original rock 'n' roll well worth the $5 cover fee.

At Manoa Garden, check out a different free, live band every Friday, 6 - 8 p.m. Bedroq and Coffeetime Cafe have great open-mike nights on certain njghts, and Nu'uanu Nights (downtown) features live bands in the street and in the Salon5 Gallery, every other month or so.

Erica J. Swartzkopf

Seeing red Each year, with Saint Patrick's

Day, Hawaiians drink themselves silly in memory of an Irish saint who restored Christianity to Europe. Any connection between inebriation and Christianity in this case is a slim one and distasteful, if not insulting, to most Irish Americans. Fortunately, this mockery is but once a year.

However, for Irish Americans who live in the Islands, there is an insult that occurs daily and is much more offensive. The Hawaiian flag incorporates the British flag. This is to commemorate a visit by a British warship that reinstalled a Hawaiian government overthrown by British citizens in the 19th century.

Today that flag is a symbol of those who oppose the imperialism of America's maintaining Hawai 'i as a colony/state. How moronic! Obviously these same Hawaiians haven't a clue that Britain was the major colonial force of the last two centuries, and that same flag was carried by forces that killed tens of thousands in the name of empire, depriving tens of millions of their freedom.

The present Hawaiian flag is just as offensive as the Confederate battle flag on the South Carolina Capitol is to African Americans. Don't wave the flag of tyranny and expect to talk of freedom. Expect us to live up to our own standards only if you can live up to yours.

Kevin O' Higgins

Letters are welcomed. Write to: Letters to the Editor, Honolulu Weekly, 1200 College Walk, Suite 214, Honolulu, HI 96817, or fax to 528-3144. E-mail to editorial@honoluluweekly.com. Letters may be edited for length or clarity; please keep them brief

March 15 - 21, 2000 • Honolulu Weekly• 3

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Mis-steps To Mitch Chang of Manoa, the

alliance he brokered between flamenco dancer Clara Ramona and the Hawai'i Hispanic Chamber of Commerce seemed like the perfect maniage. But by the time Ramona and her company took their final curtain call at Diamond Head Theater, the honeymoon was over.

Ramona's show, Flamenco Esencia, played to a packed house opening night, Jan. 28, and sold out the next. Afterward, however, Honolulu' s Hispanics and Hispanophiles were surprised to receive a lengthy e-mail enlisting their support in "calling Hawai'i Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, urging them to fulfill payment" to Flamenco Esencia. That included, according to Chang and Ramona, travel and hotel expenses for the I I-member, Madridbased troupe, as well as a $ I 2,000 fee for two perfonnances.

Chamber President Jose Perez confinned he wrote to the United States consulate in Madrid saying the Chamber was inviting the company here 8Jld would be paying for airfare and accommodations; but he never signed any contract agreeing to a fee. In fact, Perez said that he had no idea the dancers wanted to be paid.

Ramona insists they were dickering up to her anival when, Perez says, he offered her the box office take, or $5,000, after his expenses were covered.

"Joe just wanted to get away with not paying the artists, just offering them limousines and a vacation in Hawai 'i, as he put it," said Ramona from Madrid. "I told him flamenco artists do not need vacations as much as they need to work and feed their families."

Written contracts are the nonn in show business, so why did Ramona come here without so much as a handshake?

''I committed myself and others to not only a verbal agreement but continued negotiations because of detailed accounts of the publicity and ticket sales, which only proved to me that everything was really happening. I don't always need a contract," she said.

In the end, Ramona did garner $6,520 in Tower Records ticket receipts and, when she threatened to cancel her second show an hour before curtain , a promise from the Chamber's secretary and treasurer of another payment. At press time, however, Ramona had not received anything more, and Chang said he was preparing for a suit against the Chamber.

As for the concert, "It was extraordinary," said Perez, who claims he is already out of pocket $1,500. In spite of this bitter taste of Honolulu, Clara Ramona will return for a March 26 demonstration, followed by four days of workshops - and, Chang hopes, a court hearing. -Paula Durbin

Higa vs. the state Legislative Auditor Marion Higa

is trying to scrutinize the state's difficulties in complying with the Felix vs. Waihee consent decree, but the state is throwing up obstacles. Last week, state deputy attorneys general backed a Department of Human Services' refusal to Jet two outside experts hired by the auditor's office

look at student records. The state cited the red herring of

confidentiality - though the Jaw exempts auditors. (This from the same AG's Office that once subpoenaed student records at Kamehameha Schools.) The obstruction reportedly prompted one of the experts, a university researcher, to mutter, ''This is the same as Louisiana."

Only when the matter reached AG Earl Anzai, who once worked in the Auditor' s Office, did matters improve. Anzai infonned his office -and the entire cabinet - that auditors have the authority to request information, and departments are obliged to comply. -Robert M. Rees

Inside edition The Honolulu Advertiser gave

front-page coverage on March 11 to an old story about the Legislature's unconstitutional refusal to open conference committee decision-making to the public. This was fine, but it would have been even better had the Advertiser not entirely left out its own involvement in creating the story.

Advertiser editor Jim Gatti asked attorney Jeff Portnoy to write Senate President Nonnan Mizuguchi and Speaker Calvin Say on March 6, asking for assurances that "any further business conducted in Conference Committees will require both a quorum and public voting." Portnoy's letter concluded, "If we do not receive such assurances within the next five days, we have been asked to advise The Honolulu Advertiser as to all remedies available to it."

Five days later, with _no reference to its own involvement, the Advertiser fired off its front-page story, "Open voting 'unlikely' this year." It's great that the Advertiser is getting involved, but disastrous that they are willing - and not for the first time - to manipulate the news and their own coverage to do it. -R.R.

Abortion curbs: No Members of the state Legislature

quietly submitted eight bills this session that would have limited the right to an abortion ("Leg on the edge," HW, 3/8). Although the bills are dead for now, expect to see them again next year.

"Hawai ' i was in the vanguard when we repealed criminal abortion laws in 1970, but memory is fading, and we see reproductive rights coming under attack every legislative session, mirroring what's happening nationally," commented Vanessa Chong, executive director of the local American Civil Liberties Union. On March 10, the ACLU helped celebrate a National Day of Appreciation for Abortion Providers on the UH-Manoa campus, initiated by Refuse & Resist.

Anti-choice activists have shifted tactics, said Barry Raff, executive director of Family Planning Centers of Hawai'i. "Instead of trying to overturn Roe vs, Wade, they are slowly chipping away at various aspects of abortion rights, such as making it tougher for teens to get help, requiring parental consent and 48-hour notice, and ending partialbirth or post-viable abortion."

All of these options were submitted in bill fonn this legislative session.

Most alarming, notes Raff, was HB 2785 (submitted by Rep. Bob

'~:~'!!~·~,, ~. . . . ,,,,,.

McDermott), which essentially would have deemed a fetus a "person" at the moment of conception, thus making it "murder" to abort and subjecting a woman to criminal penalties.

The state senators who submitted anti-abortion bills this legislative session are Norman Sakamoto, Jan Buen, Robert Bunda, David Matsuura, Jonathan Chun and Cal Kawamoto.

Reps. Dennis Arakaki, K. Mark Takai and Republican Colleen Meyer also supported HB264, which would have prohibited abortions at school-based health centers, but also prohibited referrals to abortion services. That measure was deferred, too. -Cha.d. Blair

Can of worms With a Mainland catalog and

good credit, a farmer can literally order a bucket of wonns, a bunch of wasps or any number of other creepy-crawlies. Organic farmers advocate this alternative method of "biocontrol": Rather than spraying, farmers release imported insects that sweep the crop like a little mercenary army, attacking "bad bugs" by eating, parasitizing or transmitting diseases to them.

Ka'ii Gold orange grower Morton Bassan wants Hawai 'i to catch on to what he calls a worldwide practice. He went to the Department of Agriculture. "They were uncooperative in any way they could be," he says. So he took the issue to Senator Sam Slom.

Slom introduced SB2099, which would circumvent the DOA's riskanalysis process and allow automatic approval for importing 34 species of predatory insect and other organisms into Hawai'i. The bill went to legislative committee for review - but word got out. With the specter of the rat/mongoose farce looming large, a stonn of e-mails crackled through the biology community, and a flood of faxes poured into Slom's office.

Bishop Museum entomologist Frank Howarth notes that many of the predators listed on the bill are used against pests that aren't problems in Hawai 'i, and that tests show success rates can be as low as 10 percent. He adds, "Spraying crops with distilled water controls pests 10 percent of the time." He explains that many of these "beneficials" were developed for use in greenhouses. "But in Hawai'i," Howarth says, "these critters can and will migrate," and could threaten the native insect population.

In a fax to Slom, University of Hawai 'i biologist Scott Fretz further noted that the continued survival of endangered Hawaiian birds depends on the survival of native insects ..

Bassan knows about Hawai'i's long history of environmental disasters, but he takes issue with the intellectuals. "Academia is not the world we're really working in," he responds. ''They don't know what it takes to make a profit."

Last week, SB2099 was killed in committee. For Bassan, however, the fight's not over, and others are taking up his torch. The Hawai'i Fann Bureau Federation plans to form an ad hoc committee to find ways to break down the DOA bottlenecks. _:_Liana Holmberg

Environment

Is there a "third way" to improve access to and beautify Hanauma Bay?

Ahupua'a Alliance CATHERINE

B L A C K

Largely written off by locals since the late '80s, when the ratio of resident visitors to tourists dropped dramatically, Hanauma Bay Nature Preserve

has jumped back into the public eye with City & County of Honolulu plans to redevelop the bay and upgrade its educational facilities. These plans, considerably scaled down since their first introduction by Mayor Jeremy Harris, are at the center of a heated conflict between a group of community members and the Harris administration.

After nearly a year of haggling over alterations and building permits, the city is ready to move forward with construction of a 13,000 square-foot marine education center on the upper bay. The East Honolulu Community Coalition objects, however, labeling the plan intrusive, inappropriate and illustrative of the city's "proceed-at-all-costs" attitude.

With only one hurdle left - approval of a Conservation District Use Permit from the Department of Land and Natural Resources, with a

decision expected in April - tensions are high.

A third party, the Ahupua'a Action Alliance, has been drawn into the debate, on the merits of an approach based on the traditional ahupua 'a land-management concept. Called upon by both the coalition and the city to explain how and why such a concept ought to be included in plans for the bay, this nonprofit alliance of enviro-social activist groups may provide the only thread of constructive communication left intact between the two parties.

"We've been trying to shift the focus to a more Hawaiian cultural view," says Steve Kubota, who heads the alliance, "since this is, after all, a sacred site."

When annual attendance at Hanauma Bay soared to nearly 3.5 million in the 1980s, the park began to flounder. Inadequate infrastructure, controls and awareness resulted in mat-to-mat horror stories, trash and sewage overflows.

Park administrators realized that something had to be done. In 1989, the Sea Grant educational program was established to curb environmentally threatening behavior. In the following years, more restric-

tions on parking and tour buses were implemented, and the two buildings on the upper rim were constructed. Now, an average of I.I million people visit the park each year, and things are more controlled, but much more could be done.

At 3,000 visitors a day, there are still long admission lines and a frequently full parking lot. A small corps of volunteers - the Friends of

Hanauma Bay, staffed by the Sea Grant program - acts to advise the public and help reinforce appropriate behavior.

The Friends of Hanauma Bay headquarters is a simple concrete structure on the upper bay, originally designed to be a snack bar. Here, charts of marine life are attached to the walls of a small walk-through area, and a cramped kitchen serves as office for Hanauma Bay's education program.

Alan Hong, the park's manager of 10 years, says, ''We've been pushing since 1990 to get the most efficient educational program possible, but given our facilities, this is the best we can do. Even now, if we got more money for the program, we wouldn't

have the space to upgrade it." The administrative and education

al buildings on the upper bay are sorely inadequate. Equipment and desks compete fiercely for floor space. Employee lockers are housed in a bathroom, the ticketing booth is a former E.K. Fernandez scrip booth, and the walk-through "classroom" used for school field trips is little more than an unused concession stand.

"Our goal is to get an important message across, so that people understand how to treat this place correctly," says Jeff Kuwabara, the Sea Grant Marine Park program specialist in charge of education at the bay. "I think a lot of those [ who oppose the plans] aren't really in touch with the challenges we face trying to do this. Given the fact that these crowds aren't going to stop coming, we need to ask, 'How are you going to protect this bay in the most effective way?"'

"We fully support education," maintains Bob Ackerson of the East Honolulu Community Coalition, ''but we think there are better ways to do it than this."

The coalition suggests an open-air halau-type structure, and other educational sites in more appropriate areas, though this alternative is labeled impractical by proponents of the city plans.

The proposed marine education center would offer first-time visitors a mandatory short film detailing rules at the bay, an exhibit hall designed by the Bishop Museum with information about the bay's history and ecology, a classroom, adrninistrati ve and storage spaces. It has about five times the square footage of the existing upper-bay structures.

The question is, is this the best improvement available?

The Ahupua 'a Action Alliance

maintains that the answer can only come from a process that includes the broader community. The alliance promotes the application of the traditional Hawaiian ahupua 'a system - under which all human and natural resources are integrated with the whole.

Both the East Honolulu Community Coalition and the city call the concept "exciting," and both have used it to argue their positions.

The coalition now emphasizes that the city has neglected Hawaiian input in the planning process, even though Hanauma Bay is an important cultural site, and that therefore the cultural assessment required for a conservation district use permit was inadequate.

The city cites consultation with the Bishop Museum and exchanges with the Office of Hawaiian Affairs, not to mention the alliance itself, in response. Moreover, advocates note, the center's educational programs will incorporate Hawaiian history and culture, including the ahupua 'a concept.

While seeking to maintain good relations with all factions, the Ahupua'a Action Alliance maintains that more consideration of and by the ahupua'a model could be benefi.._ cial for Hanauma Bay. By emphasizing issues relevant to everyone, the alliance might redirect attention from the quarreling that has characterized this debate so far.

"There are some lingering questions about how well the design will work in the long run, and not thinking thoroughly about them is a point of concern. We're trying to hit this on both ends," says the alliance's Kubota. "They've been traveling· down the conventional road of park design, and missing the past and the future in the process." •

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March 15 - 21, 2000 • Honolulu Weekly • 5

..

Matt Uiagalelei

Glitter and feathers, fire dancing and naked waiters: From the statehood era to the Mardi Gras Follies, It's been Cione's show.

rince Hanalei was my first lesson in drag. He worked for the Follies Polynesia revue in the International Marketplace, at Le Boom Boom nightclub, where my father was room manager in the late 1970s. I was told the name of the club was French for "the sound of the

drums"; I was in second grade at the time. Prince Hanalei was a known performer around

town, and I knew his title was a stage name - that much I gathered - but crucial information was missing. He was the fire act for the production at Le Boom Boom, and the ~mmick of his act was shocking. By drag, I don't mean that he dressed as a female; I mean that he was a Hawaiian who was playing a Hawaiian onstage.

Prince Hanalei's act began with him sweeping on to the stage dressed as a Hawaiian chief in brown feather headdress, cape and malo. He paraded around swirling and flapping the cape, creating a small onstage weather system, then proceeded to strip down to a black bikini, while dancing to a drum soundtrack. He circled a fake wooden drum a foot-and-a-half tall and perched himself - on his head - on top of it. Upside down, he would twist his legs like a propeller so that the drum spun around.

Then came the fire. A fire board was brought onto the stage, having been soaked in alcohol. Prince Hanalei would light it and dance around the fire, walking through it a few times. The flames were high enough at first to ignite two tassels that were attached to the buttocks of the bikini.

The fire board was extinguished, then the Prince would tum his back to the audience and, in the penultimate act, would twirl the two tassels on his butt. The lights would go out, and all you could see were two whirring circles of fire.

If this were not enough, the Prince would stand on his head again on the drum and would twirl the fire, all the while spinning the drum.

On Friday and Saturday nights I would go with my dad to the club and stay until after midnight, when he was finished with work. We would arrive while it was still light. The cast woµld trickle in


through the empty showroom, the girls dressed in tube tops and jeans or pareu, with their hair tied up in braids, each carrying her own makeup case and maybe a garment bag holding an outfit to wear after work at the Point After.

The febrility of Waikild in the late 1970s was contagious. The state of Hawai 'i was not yet 20 years old. All the major hotels in Waikiki had been built. The stage was set. The future was plotted always in an ascending arc, with a feeling in the air of uncharted destiny and clear skies. The cause of that incipient feeling, I would understand only in hindsight, was money.

The man who leased the old Duke Kahanamoku' sand renamed it Le Boom Boom, who employed my father and produced and directed the Follies Polynesia, who had the singular vision required to move Prince Hanalei' s act from the Glades on Hotel Street into the middle of his Waikiki production, twirling fire on his butt, was Jack Cione.

He still gets mentioned in the papers from time to time, but not with the same frequency as in the 1960s and 1970s, when he was an enfant terrible and a media darling. He arrived in Hawai 'i in 1957 from Arizona with wife Maydelle, and soon after began to build a wild night life for Honolulu.

Over the span of two decades, Jack brought nearly every major star with a headlining act to town. He owned and operated 14 nightclubs, he tested the lewdness and obscenity laws, and he defined what had been undefined in the entertainment sector, scoring big during the second landgrab period of this town's history.

oday, even though he is 73, Cione maintains the schedule of someone half his age. He teaches three tap-dance classes for seniors who have taken lessons in their youth. (Two of the classes are open and ongoing at the Waikiki Community Center.) Just this month he directed a

show to celebrate Hawai 'i Pacific University's 35th anniversary. He also reprised his annual role as director of the Mardi Gras Follies, on stage at

the Banyans at Pearl Harbor through April 1. In each case, and whatever he bestows his attention on, Cione lends an imprimatur and a style that marks it indelibly.

What elements comprise the Jack Cione aesthetic? Feathers, mirrors, beads, fans, tits 'n' ass, glamour, sparkle, tremendous headdresses, nudity, constant movement and parading, commentaries on gender, humor, exquisite timing, flash, a variety of talent, the lush life, dazzling lighting, heavy makeup, a mix of recorded and live music, showgirls with long legs, pizzazz and, most importantly, dance.

The annual Miss South Pacific Beauty Pageant, which Cione has directed for the past 14 years, draws together young lovelies from across the Pacific Basin. Last year's contest, according to Pageantry magazine, "paid tribute to the coconut," where contestants "paraded down a sand-covered runway ... in bare feet."

Pure show business. Pure Jack Cione. I paid Cione a visit recently at his office at the

'Ainahau end of W aikili. It's a converted groundfloor apartment in a common post-WWII cinder block walk-up. The walls are decorated with collages of photos and memorabilia from the belle epoque; the back door opens onto a small garden. We talked about his career.

Cione was a dance instructor for Arthur Murray and broke into the big leagues when he was accepted into a touring company with tap dancer Eleanor Powell, who was mar-ried to Glenn Ford.

Later, he moved to Arizona and made a small fortune by opening a chain of dance studios. Semire-tired as young man, he moved to Hawai 'i, but his retirement didn't last long.

+

eminiscing, Cione said, "The only acts in those days were these boring Chinese and Japanese floor shows, with absolutely gorgeous girls, doing these Okinawan folk dances. This was at the Ginza, Leroy's, Club Hubba Hubba, the Oasis .... " On a visit in April 1958 to the original Forbidden City nightclub (first located where the Spaghetti Factory is to

day, and later moved to the Century Center property), Cione struck up a conversation with the owner, Francis Tom, about the dearth of business at the club. That conversation would eventually turn into a long and lucrative business partnership.

Cione convinced Tom to let him revamp the show and spice it up. His inspiration: keep the Japanese girls, minus the tops. Business improved immediately.

He convinced Tom further to let him assemble a separate "All Black Show." He hired four black girls from the Mainland and two black comedians who worked at the time as airport porters. There were bare ass and bare breasts in this show - a first for Honolulu. Lines formed to get in.

After the success of that first production, Cione imported an "ice show" with two skaters from the Mainland - unheard of in Honolulu. He even managed to incorporate the 12 original Japanese girls he inherited, who were billeted on the Forbidden City premises. ''They couldn't skate, but they sure looked pretty." The show was a hit, and the club was a sudden hot spot.

Over the course of his career, Cione operated 14 clubs and showrooms. He brought Sarah Vaughn, Pearl Bailey, Judy Garland, Wayne Newton, Redd Foxx, Anita Oday, Hadda Brooks, Sophie Tucker, Mae West, Della Reese, Kay Star and Tommy Sands to perform in Honolulu. All the great striptease artists played his clubs: Lili St. Cyr, Tempest Storm, Sally Rand. He was arrested six times on charges of lewdness and obscenity in his nightclub acts - and never convicted; but he learned quickly to call the media before the fuzz handcuffed him, so that photographers would be waiting at the station when he stepped out of the paddy wagon.

But the act that Jack Cione will be remembered for best is the naked waiters.

"There are not enough name stars to fill this room 52 weeks a year. You've got to have a gimmick to make it in show business." -Sophie Tucker's advice to Jack Cione

"One day the roar of revelry coming from one table could no longer be ignored. Everyone swarmed around to watch the action. The women, using the buddy system, were goading each other on, fondling the waiter's accouterment to the point of tumescence." -Honolulu magazine, March 1973

hat went on at the Dunes back then makes the strip shows at Fusion and Venus today look like skits put on by missionaries - and this was during lunch. Ask a woman of a certain generation in Hawai 'i about the naked waiters at the Dunes, and you will either get an animated story or stony silence, depending.

The Dunes was located on Nimitz where Gussie L' Amours is today. In the early 1970s, in the midst of the women's liberation movement, the sexual revolution, the burgeoning availability of oral contraceptives and the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling on Roe vs. Wade (announced on Jan. 22, 1973 - three weeks after the naked waiters opened), it seemed a natural progression that women should gain an establishment where they could objectify naked men. That this idea coalesced first in Honolulu was probably most attributable to a city and state so new that there weren't enough laws on the books, and legislation couldn't be passed fast enough to halt an Otto Preminger like Jack Cione.

Lunch at the Dunes was originally for businessmen who frequented the club to see the strip show and the naked waitresses. Often their secretaries or wives would accompany them. One day in December 1972, a group of bored and fed-up secretaries, exercising their new right to have an opinion, cornered Cione in the lobby. "Why don't you hire some nude men in this place, for a change of pace?"

Cione thought their suggestion wouldn't work. "No one will show up," he complained, but the secretaries persisted. Always the entrepreneur, he offered them a special one-time ladies luncheon with a nude man if they could guarantee a reservation of at least 50. They set a date for the first week in January.

Cione began advertising the luncheon, and the secretaries called later that week to say they had rounded up 140 women, holding up their end of the bargain. "Can you get a naked man?"

Cione had to find what really isn' t such a difficult thing to

find: men who would drop their pants. He had a brainstorm. There were some surfers renting a house he owned in Hale 'iwa who were behind on their rent. He proposed the idea of dropping trou at the ladies luncheon at the Dunes to make some quick cash. The surfers did what they do naturally, and the rest has passed into legend.

With no show planned - just four guys at the luncheon for entertainment, Cione jumped on stage and emceed an off-thecuff bit before they bared it all. "Which one do you think has the biggest cock?" he asked.

''That question alone was worth 30 minutes of material," he said. "And wouldn't you know, out of the four, there was only one with a big dick."

Soon he was interviewing for a staff of naked waiters. Cione remembers announcing, "If you don't have a big cock, this job probably isn't for you."

The media pounced on the novelty of naked waiters. The show at the Dunes was reported on nationally and internationally. The Dunes was packed from then on.

"Women would come in large groups," Cione said. "I would get to work and look at the reservation book and . there would be maybe seven reservations for lunch, but it would be like 'nurses from St. Francis, 112, 'court reporters, 57."

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- ~ ~=~

Jack C1one's ()\ie~

The only laws regulating nudity in nightclubs at the time were city Liquor Commission standards that mandated hairnets or uniforms. Cione had the waiters wear sashes.

He scripted a whole show around the naked waiters with a buxom female emcee. The star attraction of the revue was Butch Williams and his gargantuan member.

Cione also published a book- What Do You Say to a Naked Waiter? - about the Dunes. With cartoons by Corky Trinidad, it's a vivid recounting. It reads today as a document on sexual mores of the time. It's also quite funny, with matter-of-fact statements such as, "Philip objected to his penis being pinched, pulled, twisted and squeezed all day long - it made him go home sore and in a bad mood."

The book sold 50,000 copies at $2.95 each, showing that Cione understood, ahead of the curve, the lucrative ancillary market of merchandising. The book was sold at the Dunes, Longs and Woolworth's. The only bookstore in town at the time, Honolulu Bookstore, refused to sell it.

here are no shows in Waikiki anymore. If you go out in this town to nightclubs, you are the show. This follows the prevailing democratic notion that entertainment should be "consumer-specific" and tailored to the individual. We've lost the Svengali, the Barnum, the Bailey, the autocrat, the man with the plan. In other words,we've lost the director.

I asked Cione why The Follies closed in 1984 and found myself engaged in the favorite local pastime: discussing leases and property. ''The rent went up from $30,000 to $40,000 a month," Cione said. He recalled that the property manager for the International Marketplace told him, "I can put 40 [vending] carts in the [nightclub] space and charge them $1,000 each a month."

However, Cione also points out, ''The nightclub brought in hundreds of people a night, who wouldn't otherwise have come."

I recall being told as a child by a merchant in the Marketplace that rent was set at a base price plus a percentage of gross earnings. I remember thinking the situation outrageous. The eccentricity of such an exchange says less about my curiosity as a second-grader, and more about the popularity of such narratives in Waikiki.

''The whole second floor is empty now, you know," Cione told me, with the slight pleasure of someone who has traveled ahead of the herd.

The club that housea at different times Martin Denny, Don Ho, Zulu and the Follies was converted awhile back to an open-air food court in the International Marketplace. I went a few years ago, looking for puka shells to send to the Mainland, and came across a band with a steel drum, playing under a banyan tree amidst vending carts to the lunchtime crowd. While I was surveying the area for vestiges of the former tenants, the band launched suddenly into "El Condor Pasa." Made popular in this country by Simon & Garfunkle, the Andean classic has on me now the effect that "Pomp & Circumstance" might have on someone else.

The most intoxicating moment in the Follies Polynesia show at Le Boom Boom had been a "Birds of Paradise" number, performed to a decadent, up-tempo, exotica reworking of "El Condor Pasa," replete with whistles and bird calls. Six showgirls wearing beaded bikinis and gossamer feather capes, with winged birdheaddresses and open-toed silver cha-cha heels, took the stage one by one.

Each girl was a different color. Each emerged on stage to a different spotlight gel. Each would shimmy in her own way, finally coming together center stage, in a riot of legs, to form an ephemer-

al circle of flight. One girl at a time would soar off stage, and the circle would close tighter and tighter until just one "Bird of Paradise" remained.

As I stood holding those puka shell necklaces made in the Philippines, a simple pan flute played the methodical and wistful melody. It served as an unwitting tropical elegy for a group of people and a set of circumstances that dispersed a generation ago.

here's no nudity in the Mardi Gras Follies 2000, on stage now at the Banyans at Pearl Harbor. This year marks Jack Cione's 14th time directing the annual show, produced by the Pearl Harbor Performing Arts Association.

A few days ago, Cione invited me to a matinee performance. The production brings together young and old, novice and professional, in a variety show. The crowd was predominantly over 60, a mix of military and civilian. Jack Cione sat a table away from us during the show, watching with a director's discerning eye.

There are Broadway tunes - "A Bushel and a Peck," "Wilkommen" and "Cabaret" - and some current songs like "Mambo #5," "Livin' la Vida Loca" and a pastiche of "Rhythm Nation." There's a lavish hula production of "Sweet Leilani," in the glitzy tradition of the Waikiki-style hula. An excellent tango duo, Mariko Lyons and Felix Chavez, dance to "El Choclo." A smattering of top-notch vocalists appear during costume and set changes.

A highlight of the show is the "Grandmothers of Tomorrow" act. Six lively septuagenarians take the stage as showgirls, each displaying her respective talent. They're later joined by a gang dressed as punks who are the "Mothers of Today." The good-sized banquet room is barely large enough, and the high-ceilings are almost not high enough to contain the costumes alone.

Near the end of the matinee, a regiment of showgirls in high plumage filed alongside our table. One of them swept past the back of my chair. I had forgotten the familiar tickle of feathers and clack of beads. I could smell her perfume: Escape.

ione came to my father's funeral in 1981. I did not meet him again until June 1994, when I was retrieving boxes from a storage facility in Kaka'ako, where he was overseeing the housing of his costumes. There were capes, feather head

dresses and kimonos - enough costumes for five productions. The familiar orangeand-blue plumage of one headdress caught my eye first; then I saw Jack Cione in front of the racks and racks of costumes. I reintroduced myself, and we spoke for just a few minutes.

The mix of the weather, the wardrobes, the time and the place had on me the effect of a sudden nostalgic elixir. I tried to tell Cione how magical and extraordinary it had been to grow up around his production and around Waikiki, but words failed to convey how deeply I felt this.

"It was magical, wasn't it?" Cione had said that summer day in 1994, while meticulously tending to a diaphanous feathered cape. His voice trailed off, his attention drawn back to his company of costumes -as beguiling and exotic on a side street in Kaka 'ako as sprays of orchids on a winter ~- . Mardi Gras Follies - The annual Las Vegasstyle revue plays at the Pearl Harbor Banyans Club, Avenue A, Bldg. #1247, Friday March 17 - Sunday March 19; Friday March 24 -Saturday April 1. Tickets: $35 -$40. Call 473-1073 for more.

PHOTOS: COURTESY

Politics

The 3;year;old war between Tony Rutledge and Eric Gill for control of Local 5 and Unity House enters its decisive moment.

The Labor Front

ROBERT M. REES

ric Gill, looking weary because he has overslept following his late-night shift as a hotel dishwasher, is asked over breakfast how he's doing. "Better than last time," he responds. "I've got a

judge saying they can't cheat. I've got a monitor saying they can't kick me off the ballot."

Gill's reference was to his attempt of three years ago to oust Tony Rutledge from the top job as SecretaryTreasurer of Local 5, Hotel Employees and Restaurant Employees of the AFL-CIO. When Gill challenged Rutledge in 1997, Gill's name was removed from the ballot based on a brand-new Local 5 bylaw that materialized from out of nowhere. Gill asked the U.S. District Court to intervene, but Judge Alan Kay ruled that the dispute would have to go to the U.S. Department of Labor. In the meantime, Rutledge ran unopposed, and was declared the winner in January 1998.

Gill took his case to the Labor Department, and they sued on his behalf. Senior District Judge Samuel King voided Rutledge's election in late 1999, on the grounds that the removal of Gill's name from the ballot had "constituted an unreasonable retroactive application" of bylaws. The court ordered a new and federally monitored election. It begins on March 16 with the mailing of ballots to the 10,000 members of Local 5, and the winner will be announced on April 6.

More is at stake than just the top job at Local 5. The winner will wind up with control of Unity House, a nonprofit corporation created in 1951 by Tony's father, Arthur Rutledge, and by Eric's father, attorney Tom Gill. Because in those halcyon days Arthur Rutledge firmly controlled Local 5 and Teamsters 996, Unity House was set up to provide social services for both.

Arthur, an immigrant whom the United States once shamefully tried to deport for "illegal entry as a child," and his son, Tony, reigned over the Teamsters-Local 5-Unity House triumvirate for nearly 40 years. In 1990, however, Tony was ousted as Teamsters president by Harold Decosta. (The Teamsters, in 1994, permanently expelled Tony for, among other things, "raiding" the Teamsters to establish a Motion Picture Drivers Division for Local 5, a move that led to a nasty and pyrotechnic turf war highlighted by arson.)

Even without the Teamsters, by combining the clout of Local 5 with proxy votes from the Teamsters, Tony Rutledge has been able to retain control of Unity House. He knows, however, that if he loses his hold on Local 5, he will lose

Unity House. With assets of $60 million -

some of which Rutledge has been known to keep around the office in bundles of cash - Unity House offers a cash-rich vehicle for wheeling and dealing. Gill, as part of his campaign to oust Rutledge, is promising to put the operation "in the hands of competent professionals, and quit wasting money on shady investments." Gill's campaign literature goes even further, and promises that Gill and running mate Hernando Ramos Tan will "kick out the crooks."

Gill offers up Anthony DiPace as an example of what he's talking about. DiPace, from Albany, New York, was hired by Rutledge as an investment counselor for Unity House. Rutledge then pushed for DiPace to become investment monitor for the Hotel Union and Hotel Industry of Hawai 'i Pension Plan, with assets of $200 million. Union pension plans, unlike Unity House funds, are under the supervision of the U.S. Labor Department, and on Feb. 8, DiPace was convicted of 11 counts of fraud in connection with his application for the job and its $300,000 annual salary.

Rutledge has denied testimony from the trial that he threatened to take Local 5 on strike unless DiPace was hired to monitor the pension plan. Gill, even though he claims he doesn't want to get into the topic, gleefully mentions the possibility of an indictment of Rutledge in connection with the DiPace and other cases.

Rutledge discounts the possibility of an indictment, and notes that the government "has been trying for two years, but there's nothing there to indict."

Gill, 45, describes Rutledge, 55, as "damaged goods," and claims that Rutledge has bungled renegotiating Local 5' s "Master Hotel Agreement" that expired March 1, and is now on extension. The challenger charges that Rutledge is using strike talk as a scare tactic to generate member support; Gill's campaign literature claims, "Tony wants us to

forget about so many things, he needs to start a strike to do it!"

So far, however, the closest Rutledge has come to talking strike was at a closed meeting of Local S's negotiating committee on March 1. Rutledge reportedly indicated he may ask for a vote authorizing a strike, but the discussion was put on hold.

G ill bas been using some scare tactics of his own. For example, one of his election mailers to Local 5 members asks, ''Why are management's contract proposals so abusive and insulting? Why are they threatening us with pay cuts, medical benefit reductions and other takeaways?"

Gill's campaign has not been without difficulty. A recent Rutledge flyer was headlined, "Another Eric Gill Screwup!" and pointed out that many of the people running on Gill's slate failed to attend the required meeting on Feb. 23, and hence couldn't be nominated. Gill claims that this is Rutledge twisting the rules, but the federal monitor refused to reverse the disqualification., Gill says he has since added to his slate.

In spite of the setbacks, Gill is optimistic about the election, and says, "My chances are excellent. Members are fed up."

For his part, the charismatic Rutledge seems unfazed. There is nothing to suggest that Rutledge's earlier opinion of Gill - as someone who doesn't have a chance, and who is running "just to be an asshole" -has changed. Rutledge adds only, "I expect members will make the right choice."

Rutledge, one of those union leaders whose notoriety among the establishment seems to add to his appeal, will fight hard. He wants Tony Jr. to take over what he sees as the family business, and this year he has added Tony Jr. to his slate of candidates for Local 5 trustee.

At a recent Gill fund-raiser, on a Sunday evening, the subdued ambivalence of the large and supportive crowd reflected its simultaneous realizations: The decisive moment is at hand; but, to get here it has been necessary to awaken the sleeping giant. •

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JO• March 15 - 21, 2000 • Honolulu Weekly

Campaign 2000 PHOTO: TIME MAGAZINE

Winner and loser: They're both four~letter words.

It's Gore, Tex

H A R O L D MEYERSON

K, what's a four-letter word for "our next president"? If you said "Gore," you have about a 50 percent chance of being right next November. Vice President Al Gore has emerged from the pri

mary season relatively unscathed, and certainly with far fewer scathes than GOP nominee-to-be George W. Bush. In the exit poll of all voters from the California primary -an electorate probably more GOPleaning than the turnout come November - Gore leads Bush by a 51-percent-to-43-percent margin.

The problem for W. is that he ends the primary process well to the right of where he started. For his part, Gore began trolling for unmoored McCainites as early as his last debate with Bill Bradley, in which he charged several times that of the four major candidates, only W. was deaf to the appeal of campaign-finance reform.

Neither Gore nor Bush is a natural fit for the McCain malcontents. But someone (not Pat Buchanan or Ross Perot) will lay claim to most of them. Meanwhile, Gore's positions on choice, guns and the environmentand his ability to claim some credit for the state of the economy - are more likely to attract wavering centrists than Bush's attempt to personify the cause of moral regeneration.

Should the election come down to a test between Gore's credibility as a steward of the economy and Bush's credibility as a midwife of moral rebirth, the Dems should prevail. It's easier to see the Veep as a banker than it is the Guv as a minister, let alone a prophet.

When historians look back on the brief, intense primary season of campaign 2000, they will doubtless note that John McCain proved himself a far more compelling challenger in his party than Bill Bradley did in his. But they should also note that February's bizarre primary calendar artificially inflated McCain's stature, and further deflated Bradley's in the process.

The weirdness of February was that Republican contests were scheduled in several key states that had no corresponding Democratic contests. As a result, Democrats, having no place else to go, flocked to crucial GOP primaries.

In Ohio and Missouri - two states where the Republican primaries were open to Democrats -fully 70 percent and 61 percent of the voters in the GOP contest were Republican, and Bush carried these states overwhelmingly. McCain simply couldn't win anywhere that the Republicans constituted a clear majority of the Republican voters (well, anywhere except New Eng-

land, where Republicans are the ideological equivalents of center-left Democrats anywhere else).

The reasons for McCain's considerable appeal to Democrats and independents were legion. He was the onetime hawk who made friends -who made a show of making friends - with onetime doves. He made war not just on the cultural right wing of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, but on the economic right wing of the Wall Street Journal editorial page. His attacks on W.'s tax cuts for favoring the rich (38 percent goes to the wealthiest 1 percent) were every bit as heretical as his affront to the Christian right.

McCain's appeal to Democrats was that he confirmed their hitherto unvoiced suspicion that reasonable Republicans, freed from the confines of party discipline, didn't really believe all that stuff they voted for, and didn't even want to associate with those right-wing movement types who normally surrounded them. Left to their own devices, serious Republicans - such as McCain - would hang with liberal reporters and end up as tribunes for moderation, right?

n hindsight, the amount of wishful thinking that went into the McCain phenomenon was staggering. No presidential campaign can prevail that flatly rejects its party's core program, let alone that insults the party's ac

tivist cadres. McCain's only chance, coming off his Michigan upset, would have been to find some way to appeal more directly to the Republican base. Problem was, the Republican base already had a candidate, and almost everything McCain said after Michigan - his attacks on the Christian right most especially - only increased the determination of core Republicans to vote for Bush. On March 7, the religious right cast their vote for Boy George over McCain by huge margins.

McCain can comfort himself with the knowledge that he himself provoked his obliteration at the hands of his party base. Poor Bill Bradley, on the other hand, fared even worse among hard-core Democrats than McCain did with the

Republican right, and these Democratic cadres were precisely the voters that Bradley targeted most of all.

From the day he first intimated he was thinking of seeking the presidency, Bradley said his No. 1 concern would be to shine a light on American racism. No presidential candidate had ever before decried the racial profiling that is common practice among police, or the disproportionate effect that the war on drugs has had on nonwhite communities. No mainstream campaign since Robert Kennedy's has ever exhibited such a strong preferential option for the poor, with its call for linking increases in the minimum wage to those in the median wage, and for establishing universal health insurance.

In short, Bill Bradley did worst among the very groups he cared about most - blacks and the poor. His problem was that those groups were also the groups that were the most loyal to Bill Clinton, the groups least likely to stray from Al Gore. In California, the Veep got nearly seven African-American votes for every one Bradley pulled down, and there was an identical disparity among Latino voters. Indeed, though some election-night commentators speculated that Latinos might be prepared to embrace the friendly cultural traditionalism of Sefior W. come November, Gore emerges from Super Tuesday's primaries with a strong claim to the Latino vote.

The political effect that the third wave of immigrants is having, then, is fairly complex. As the electorate grows slightly more Latino, it may well grow more conservative on cultural questions like gay marriage - at the same time that it is growing more liberal on school-spending, income-equity and labor-rights questions. As a voting bloc, Latinos look more and more like the Southern and Eastern European Catholic and Orthodox voters of the 1930s, who stuck close to their churches on matters of morals, and close to their unions on all things economic. One more reason why Gore's in somewhat better shape than Bush come November. Know a four-letter word for "loser"? •

' ' I.

Dance Bay bridge

awai'i dancer Patrick Makuakane has carved out a substantial niche in the San Francisco Bay area for himself and his halau Na Lei Hulu i ka Wekiu. Now he has brought his

company home for its Hawai'i debut and, some say, for validation of his acclaimed achievement, an evening-length choreography enigmatically dubbed "The Natives are Restless - Ke Alma."

Just judging from the promotional video, this work will come as something of a shock to the purists. After all, as much as the Bay Area's dance audience might hunger for hula, it adores innovation. Given that kind of encouragement, Makuakane has come up with something he calls "hula mua," which appears to be kahiko technique executed to disco, rock, pop standards and other contemporary strains from the American music scene.

To get there from what he learned here, Makuakane would have to have been solidly schooled in the classical stylings, and he certainly was - by kumu hula Robert Cazimero. But Makuakane left the Islands before Cazimero put his best dancers through their paces for their 'iiniki, so he missed out on the rigors of restraint that are also part of the pristine legacy of Maiki Aiu Lake, Cazimero's own kumu.

To his credit, Makuakane has absorbed Cazimero's theatrical bent along with his passion for polished perfection. Even so, all the hips at a rolling boil and the flexing delts and triceps could get in the way of the message, which is an important histo1y lesson.

Then again, if you consider hula an evolving art form, this is definitely the show for you; and even if you don't, you might very likely enjoy "Ke Akua" anyway - just leave your traditionalist standards at home. -Paula Durbin

Hawai'i Tbeatre, 1130 Bethel St.: Fri3/17&Sat3/18, l-30p.m. $18. 528-0506.

ow long has it been since an extravagant display of Korean dance has unfolded in all its glory at the Blaisdell Concert Hall? Thanks to the Pacific Basin Economic Council meeting

here this week, this fabulous tradition finally takes center stage on this town's biggest stage, when the curtain goes up on the 60-member Samson Dance Company.

Choreographer Jae-man Jung, whose artistry opened the Seoul Olympics in 1988 and later garnered the gold medal at France's 1991 Dijon International Folk Art Festival, founded the troupe in 1994 and it has gone on to nonstop ovations.

By the time it performs here, chiefs of state (including Philippine President Jose Estrada and maybe even Bill Clinton) and high-ranking government officials representing 20 member nations at the PBEC will have already gotten a glimpse of this well-traveled, highly decorated company. It is here in the first place to perform at a special PBEC session featuring the South Korean economy, now considered to be in recovery after its disastrous dive not too long ago. But ordinary people like us will be treated to the full-length show.

The program includes a choreography reviving the ancient royal monarch dances, a drum spectacular for more than 20 instruments of different sizes and a parade of fashion that compresses 10 centuries of history into 15 minutes.

The opportunity to (finally) see such jewels in a proper setting is not to be missed. -P.D.

Blaisdell Concert Hall, 777 Ward Ave.: Mon 3/20, 7 p.m. $15 - $30. 955-3053

The Scene Take the cake

t was a sad day in December of '99 when farces beyond his control caused promoter/purveyor of cheesecake Otto to abandon his efforts at creating places to play for what is arguably Honolulu's least wel-

come demographic - underage punks. But who could blame him? Sure, putting together all-ages gigs isn't something one does for profit, and even promoters with the best of intentions have to go into it knowing they'll spend a fair amount of their time dealing with that element of the community better known as the "You Should Do It This Way" bitch factor - but once you start getting anonymous death threats, it's time to accept that the point of diminishing returns has come and gone.

So Otto took a break for a while ... and now he's back to it: This weekend, the Ottocakes Factory is hosting a unique, nonalcoholic benefit. All money raised at the door will go towards burning 500 copies of a full-length, all-local band sampler. every CD of which will then be given away. Scheduled to play here are Grapefruit, Knumbskulls, The Sticklers, Plural, Quarterhead and TOR. As for the CD, if you're in a band (and can meet a deadline) there's a possibility you'll be included ... call for details.

2928 Ualena St.: Sat 3/18, 7 -11 p.m. $5. All ages. 834-6886

Concerts Taiko a go-go

n the larger scheme of things, Taiko drumming is a relatively new art, with only a few decades of history blending traditional Japanese drumming with an electrifying performance technique that

falls somewhere between music, dance and martial arts. After years of study in Japan, a Master's Degree from UH-Miinoa and numerous sold-out shows here and abroad, Kenny Endo is the man to watch in the drumming arena.

Last year, Kenny's Taiko Ensemble of the Pacific appeared on the Mainland and in Europe. This year, he's spending months collaborating and composing on the Mainland. This week, Endo takes a few days from activities elsewhere to host the Second Annual Hawai'i International Taiko Festival, culminating in a concert featuring American and Japanese ensembles.

PHOTOS: COURTESY

MARCH S M T W T F s • • • 15 16 17 18

• • • •

Most notable of the guests is Hanayui, a song, dance and drum ensemble from Sado Island in Japan. Hanayui features guest Yoshikazu Fujimoto, lead odaiko drummer from the Kodo group -the odaiko being the huge icon of a drum that helped make Kodo world famous. Kinnara Taiko, one of the foremost North American groups, and Hawai'i Matsuri Taiko, Hawai'i's first group to blend the songs and dance of the Islands with Japanese drum, also appear.

The Kenny Endo Taiko Ensemble will of course perform, adding special guests Noel Okimoto, Hawai'i's premier percussionist, and Tim Tsukiyama on saxophone.

-Stephen Fox Blaisdell Concert Hall, 777 Ward

Ave.: Sat 3/18, 7:30- 9:30 p.m. $19.50 & $29.50. 591-2211.

Dance: "The Natives are Restless-::- Ke Akua."

-12 • Music 16 • Concerts/On Sale/Readings/Theater & Dance/Museums 19 • GaJleries 20 • Learning March 15 - 21, 2000 • Honolulu Weekly• II

The legendary Rock of · PinkAoyd

H ouse musicis the same thing as disco, which is why I think it sho. uld be done away with. Well, actually I don't think it should be done away with, be

cause all music is good - but house music should definitely be suppressed. l don't think anybody really likes it. They just like to do d!ugs to it because it's trippy and drugged-out.

But I'll tell you who is really trippy: Pink Floyd. That's why this week's column is all about Pink

•

limited, and there are countless topics about things I really like, I'd rather use my limited space in this column to write about those things, instead of things I think are just OK. Although, I want to be careful not to give Roger Waters too much credit, because he got pretty lame over time. He deserves to be severely punished for allowing Cyndi Lauper and Bryan Adams to perform parts of the The Wall when Waters performed

The Wall in front of the "Berlin Wall. Someone should smash his face in with "another brick in the Floyd. But first allow

me to inform you a little of my qualifications: I have been listening to The Wall since I was in the seventh grade, which is when it came out. It is one of my all-time favorite albums. I have seen the movie starring the guy from the Boomtown Rats (shit-

~Nf( wall." (Get it?)

The Dark Side of the Moon (1973): This is the one that started it all. One of the best-selling albums of all time, and deservedly .so. Without this gem there would be no gay-ass wannabe psychedelic types of music that are popular now like "Trip-Hop." On Dark Side of the Moon, by condensing the sonic ex-

ty band) over · 100 ""

~

\ii\ lt times at least, and every time I see it, I see something new (Sorry, Tommy fans;

. The Wall.is the greatest rock 'n' roll movie of all time.) I discovered the gems of albums Animals and Wish You Were Here when I was in the ninth grade, which was many years ago. Since that time I have spent hundreds of hours listening to everything I can get my hands on by Pink Floyd, including their sixties music with Syd Barrett. (I heard Syd Barrett took too much acid, and now he lives with his mom and thinks he's a fish, although that might not be true. Anyway, kids, that's a lesson for you -don't take to much acid, or you'll never get away from your parents, ha ha!) I also learned how to play on guitar the melody of the song "Wish You Were Here" from the album of the same name.

For this column, I'm going to stick to the three albums from the years I refer to as Pink Floyd's "Glory Years." This is the period when Pink Floyd produced such masterpieces as Dark Side of the Moon and the aforementioned Animals, Wish You Were Here and The Wall. I will write about Pink Floyd's early years in a later column if I have time. I would write about their post-Roger Waters period in the '80s and '90s, but I think the albums from that period are just OK, and seeing how my space in this column is

plorations of previous albums into actual songs and adding a lush, immaculate production to their highly inventive instrumental sections, Pink Floyd inadvertently designed their commercial breakthrough. And the song "Us and Them" is so deep.

Wish You Were Here (1975): Excellent album for a 4/20, if you follow me. Oh, and you say you want electronica? Well look no further, music fans. "Shine on You Crazy Diamond" was the reason synthesizers were created. (That song's about Syd Barrett. They should have called it, "Shine on You Crazy Mackerel!") Toe same is ttuefor "Welcome to the Machine" (Oh, Floyd, if we'd only known how right you were.) This record unfolds gradually, as the jazzy textures of "Shine On" reveal its melodic motif, and in its leisurely pace the album reveals itself to be warmer than its predecessor. Musically, it's arguably even more impressive, showcasing the group's interplay in the form of long, enthralling soundscapes.

OK, I'm up to my word limit now, so I' 11 have to review the other albums in a future column, which I'd rather do anyway, because I'm not as crazy about the early stuff as I am lhe other two albums. Until then, shine on, fishheads!

-Robby Chiswick [email protected]

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~ 'J/? ~ ~~~i,~

"The Scene" is a selective listing of arts, entertainment and other activities in the Honolulu area. 'e, the coveted Weekly dingbat of approval, signifies events of special interest. Due to the capricious nature of life in the entertainment world, dates, times and locations are often subject to change without warning. Avoid disappointment: Call ahead.

Music 15/Wednesday B A N D Royal Hawaiian Band, Ward Warehouse (noon) 591-8411

C O N T E M P O R A R Y Mark Caldeira & Harry Koizumi, Cheeseburger in Paradise (6 p.m.) 923-3731 Dean & Dean, Chart House (8 p.m.) 949-4321 Byl Leonard Band, Don Ho's Island Grill (6 p.m.) 528-0807 Garrett Okubo, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (1 p.m.) 923-7311 Lance Grillo, Chart House (5 p.m.) 949-4321 Stardust, Hanohano Room (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 Booker T., Banana Patch Lounge, Miramar Hotel (10 p.m.) 922-2077

D J Eklectron, Flavors (11 p.m.) 922-2344 Respiration Wednesdays w/ DJs Special Kand Xcel, Liquid Surf Den (9:30 p.m.) 942-SURF Big Wednesday w /&Dogg and Gary 0, Shipley's Alehouse & Grill (10 p.m.) 988-5555

HAWAIIAN Brother Noland, Aloha Tower Marketplace (11:30 a.m.) 528-5700 Brothers Cazimero, Chai's Island Bistro (7 & 9 p.m.) 585-0011 Lopaka Brown, Wailana Cocktail Lounge (6 p.m.) 955-1764 Jonah Cummings, Barefoot Bar, Outrigger . Waikiki Hotel (4 &10 p.m.) 922-2268 Pai'ea, Big Island Steakhouse (5:30 p.m.) 537-4446 Keith & Carmen Haugen, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (5:30 p.m.) 923-7311 _ Ke'ia, Havana Cabana (9:30 p.m.) 524-4277 Ka'ala Boys, Esprit Nightclub (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 Ledward Ka'apana & the Original lkona, Hawaiian Regent Lobby Bar (6 p.m.) 922-6611 Kahali'a, Hawaiian Regent Lobby Bar (9 p.m.) 922-6611 Ku'uipo Kumukahi, Poolside, Sheraton-Waikiki (6 p.m.) 922-4422 Makana (Matt Swalinkavich), Brew Moon (8 p.m.) 593-0088 Sean Na'aua'o, Pipeline Cafe (9:30 p.m.) 589-1999 Nakanie, BedRoq Bar and Grill (9 p.m.) 942-8822

J A Z Z Rachel Gonzales, Due's Bistro (11:30 a.m.) 531-6325 James Kraft, Pacific Cafe (6 p.m.) 593-0035

L A T I N Rolando Sanchez & Salsa Hawai'i, Zanzabar (9 p.m.) 924-3939

NIGHTCLUB SHOW Honolulu, Esprit Nightclub (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 The Love Notes, 'llikai Hotel (8:30 p.m.) 949-3811

ROCK/R&B Big Toe, Wave Waikiki(9 p.m.) 941-0424, ext. 12 Piranha Brothers, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (9 p.m.) 923-7311 Just Joe, Muddy Water Espresso (7 p.m.) 254-2004

.Bongo Tribe, Irish Rose Saloon (9 p.m.) 924-7711

S P O K E N W O R D Joe Tsujimoto & Friends, Coffeeline (7:30 p.m.) 947-1615

S W I N G Hula Joe & the Hut Jumpers, The Pier Bar (8:30 p.m.) 536-2166 ·

16/Thursday

ALTERNATIVE Rail, The Pier Bar (9 p.m.) 536-2166

=-------~-=- -----------""'"'!r!"'!l!lll!r'l!!

B L U E S J.P. Smoketrain, Kickstand Ca( e, The American Dream (7 p.m.) 591-9268 Bobby Thursby & Chris Vandercook, Ca( e Che Pasta (6 p.rn.) 524-0004

G O N T E M P O R A R Y Dean & Dean, Chart House (5 p.m.) 949-4321 Emerald House, Chart House (9 p.m.) 949-4321 mossRock, Shipley's Alehouse & Grill (8:30 p.m.) 988-5555 Pico Payne, Banana Patch Lounge, Miramar Hotel (10 p.m.) 922-2077 Stardust, Hanohano Room (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 Native Tongue, Cheeseburger in Paradise (6 p.m.) 923-3731

C O U N T R Y The Geezers, O'Toole's Pub (7 p.m.) 536-6360

D J Electric Kingdom (hip hop, R&B w/ DJs James Coles & TEZ), Zanzabar (10 p.m.) 924-3939 Chinese Secret (rare grooves, drum 'n' bass, house w/ DJ Mark & Gary OJ, Indigo (10 p.m.) 521-2900 Perpetual Groove, Venus (10 p.m.) 955-2640 College Night (hip hop, house, R&B), Flavors (9 p.m.) 922-2344 Ladies Night, Wave Waikiki (9 p.m.) 941-0424, ext.12 S.O.H.O. presents Vanity (house, trance, hip hop), Pango Pango (10 p.m.) 926-2546

GUITAR Les Among, Arnold's Beach Bar & Grill (9:30 p.m.) 924-6887

HAWAIIAN 'Ale'a, Jaron's Kailua (8:30 p.m.) 261-4600 Auntie Genoa Keawe, Hawaiian Regent Lobby Bar (5:30 p.m.) 922-6611 Jonah Cummings, Barefoot Bar, Outrigger Waikiki Hotel (4 &10 p.m.) 922-2268 Pai'ea, Big Island Steakhouse (5:30 p.m.) 537-4446 Hapa, Chai's Island Bistro (6:30 & 9 p.m.) 585-0011 Ho'aloha, Don Ho's Island Grill (6 p.m.) 528-0807 Kanilau, Aloha Tower Marketplace (11:30 a.m.) 528-5700 Moe Keale, Poolside, Sheraton- Waikiki (6 p.m.) 922-4422

Stardust, Hanohano Room (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 Jon Yamasato, Kincaid's (6 p.m.) 591-2005

D J Urban Groove w/DJ Billy G (hip hop, house, R&B), Flavors (9 p.m.) 922-2344 Green Room (hip hop & house w/ Dr. Boogie & Gary 0), Indigo (10 p.m.) 521-2900 Afterhours (house, techno, trip hop, trance, jungle & drum 'n' bass), The Shelter @ 1739 Kalakaua Ave. (10:30 p.m.)

F O L K Irish Hearts, O'Toole's Pub (4:30 - 11:30 p.m.) 536-6360 James McCarthy, Irish Rose Saloon (4 p.m.) 924-7711

GUITAR Bud Cerio, The Row Bar (5:30 p.m.) 531-7742 Jim Smart, Padovani's Bistro (8 p.m.) 941-7275

HAWAIIAN Akoni, Hawaiian Regent Lobby Bar (6 p.m.) 922-6611 Anuhea, Honey's at Ko'olau (6:30 p.m.) 236-4653 Pai'ea, Big Island Steakhouse (5:30 p.m.) 537-4446 Gordon Freitas, Cheeseburger in Paradise (6 p.m.) 923-3731 Hapa, Chai's Island Bistro (6:30 & 9 p.m.) 585-0011 Ho'onu'a,]aron's Kailua (10:30 p.m.) 261-4600 Keoki Johnson, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (8:30 p.m.) 923-7311 Kahali'a, Hawaiian Regent Lobby Bar (9 p.m.) 922-6611 Johnny Kamae, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (1 p.m.) 923-7311 Kapena, Hale'iwa Joe's Seafood Grill (10:30 p.m.) 637-8005 Karla & Nii Mea Hula O Kahikinaokalalani, Poolside, Sheraton- Waikiki (6 p.m.) 922-4422 Da Kine, Banana Patch Lounge, Miramar Hotel (7 p.m.) 922-2077 Ku'uipo Kumukahi, Duke's Canoe Club (4 p.m.) 923-0711 Ladies K Trio, Mililani Town Center (7 p.m.) 625-5233 Haku Mele, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (5:30 p.m.) 923-7311 Olomana, Paradise Lounge, Hilton Hawaiian Village (8 p.m.) 949-4321 Palolo, Kincaid's (9:30 p.m.) 591-2005 Sistah Robi, Shipley's Alehouse & Grill (8 p.m.) 988-5555

Malanai, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (5:30 p.m.) 923-7311 Brado Mamalias, Canoes at the 'llikai (6 p.m.) Haumea Warrington, Barefoot Bar, Outrigger 949-3811 · Waikiki Hotel (10 p.m.) 922-2268

Mr. Gneiss Duo, Hawaiian Regent Lobby Bar (9 p.m.) 922-6611

J A Z Z Abstract Weekly (acid/hip hop/alternative jazz), Havana Cabana (9:30 p.m.) 524-4277 Jon Basebase, Kincaid's (6:30 p.m.) 591-2005 Rachel Gonzales, Due's Bistro (11:30 a.m.) 531-6325 Timothy Kallen, Sarento's (7 p.m.) 955-5559 James Kraft & Lou Benanto Jr., Padovani's Bistro (7:30 p.m.) 941-7275 Jeff Peterson & Willow Chang, Michel's (6:30 p.m.) 923-6552

L A T I N Rolando Sanchez & Salsa Hawai'i, Acqua (9:30 p.m.) 924-0123

NIGHTCLUB SHOW Honolulu, Esprit Nightclub (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 Dick Jensen w/ Hawai'i's Very Best, Waikiki Terrace (8 p.m.) 955-6000 The Love Notes, 'I/ikai Hotel (8:30 p.m.) 949-3811

R E G G A E Guava Jam (various artists), Don Ho's Island Grill (9 p.m.) 528-0807

ROCK/R&B Bongo Tribe, Irish Rose Saloon (9 p.m.) 924-7711

17/Friday ALTERNATIVE Tone Deaf Teens, Wave Waikiki (9 p.m.) 941-0424, ext. 12

C O N T E M P O R A R Y Tito Berinobis, Chart House (5 p.m.) 949-4321 Mark Caldeira & Clay, Cheeseburger in Paradise (noon, 6 p.m.) 923-3731 Dean & Dean, Chart House (8 p.m.) 949-4321 Pico Payne, Banana Patch Lounge, Miramar Hotel (10 p.m.) 922-2077

INDUSTRIAL Temple (DJs), Temple (10 p.m.) 589-1007

J A Z Z Rachel Gonzales, Due's Bistro (11:30 a.m.) 531-6325 Timothy Kallen, Sarento's (7 p.m.) 955-5559 Noel Okimoto Quartet, Kickstand Cafe, The American Dream (8 p.m.) 591-9268 Greg Pai Trio, Coffee Time C,afe (8 p.m.) 732-7772 Jeff Peterson & Willow Chang, Michel's (6:30 p.m.) 923-6552

L A T I N Rolando Sanchez & Salsa Hawai'i, Acqua (9:30 p.m.) 924-0123

NIGHTCLUB SHOW Honolulu, Esprit Nightclub (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 Dick Jensen w/ Hawai'i's Very Best, Waikiki Terrace (8 p.m.) 955-6000 The Love Notes, 'Ilikai Hotel (8:30 p.m.) 949-3811

R E G G A E Soul Free, Don Ho's Island Grill (9 p.m.) 528-0807 Ooklah the Moc, Anna Bannana's (9 p.m.) 946-5190

ROCK/R&B Coconut Joe, The Row Bar (8 p.m.) 531-7742 Bongo Tribe, Irish Rose Saloon (9 p.m.) 924-7711 Willie K, The Pier Bar (9:30 p.m.) 536-2166

S O U L Souled Out Fridays w/ J Diamond (soul & hip hop), Cafe Sistina (10 p.m.) 596-0061

V O C A L S The Soundettes, Don Ho's Island Grill (6 p.m.) 528-0807

Continued on Page 14

2 o · Botanical/~ds/Hikes & [xcursions/Whatevahs/Volunteer 21 • Neighbors/Gay/Grassroots 2 2 • Alm 12 • March 15 - 21, 2000 • Honolulu Weekly

ILLUSTRATION: COURTESY

Theater

Hanuman The Messenger emerges from the shadows.

Shades Of Meanin

STEPHEN FOX

leeting shadows passing on a diaphanous fabric of existence .... That's what we are. Shadow puppet theater (wayang kulit), on the other hand, has been around for centuries. At festivals, royal

banquets and rites of passage, the dalang - the puppeteer - has traveled Indonesia with a set of puppets, four banana trunks to hold the puppets between appearances and a screen on which the shadows meet, fight, love and poke fun at the human world. These days, electric lights cast the shadows, but otherwise the same stories and characters flicker through all-night shows.

This weekend, the University of Hawai 'i-Manoa Gamelan Society is presenting a slightly abridged version - Hanuman The Messenger will be edited to a mere three hours. Here's the plot: You're a monkey, and you feel obliged to help a dispossessed, sacred studmuffin get his sweetie back from a demon .... OK, it's an unlikely scenario, but those were the days when gods, men and monkeys vied to do great deeds, and it's at least as plausible as Rambo.

Virtually all wayang stories are drawn from Indian classical literature, remarkably, since Java has been Moslem for several centuries. This weekend's story is drawn from the Ramayana, and deals with the monkey Hanuman's efforts to rescue Rama's wife, Sita, from the demon king Ravanna.

The story serves as a framework for an atmosphere of music and socializing. Additionally, it allows the dalang to show his skill in manipulating the puppets and cracking jokes. The instrumental ensemble actually begins playing when the doors open, as a mood-setting prelude to the show. The audience is encouraged to wander about both in front and in back of the shadow screen as the performance progresses along.

i Widiyantom, from Indonesia, is the dalang, brought to the Islands by the Gamelan Society. He has performed in several countries, with credits including a two-month run at

the Smithsonian, and a recent series at the Indonesian Museum for Wayang. He now teaches at Lewis and Clark College in Oregon - a fact that means his jokes and comments will be timely and relevant to

United States audiences. That's of no small importance: While the principle characters speak in an old form of high Javanese, the shadow servants provide translation and comic relief, much as they do in Indonesia, since nobody speaks archaic Javanese there, either.

The drummer, Joko Sutrisno from Java, studied at the National Acade~ my of Performing Arts in Surakarta. He conducts the musical accompaniment to fit cues from the puppeteer. Sutrisno was brought to America by the Schubert Club in St. Paul, Minnesota, where he conducts ensembles on the three full sets of gamelan instruments owned by the club, and teaches at Winona State and St. Cloud Universities. He often accompanies Widyanto for special events, and performs as a guest artist with various gamelan around the country.

The 25 or so members of the musical ensemble are all UH Gamelan players, some of whom have been with the ensemble since it began 30 years ago.

The word gamelan itself is an orchestra of gongs and xylophone-like instruments - some of which bear great resemblance to tuned cookware, but create unearthly, shimmering sonic textures. Vocalists, flutes and an instrument related to the violin fill out the group.

The music follows basic melodies through cycles of time, marked by the pots and gongs. Nobody, not even the dalang, has a clue exactly how the story or music will go ahead of time, except for a rough outline of what pieces will be used, and an understanding of how the instruments work together. Beyond that, the whole show is improvised, with the dalang calling the shots. The drum-

mer gets clues from the words and from the knocks, chinks and clunks the dalang uses to punctuate the story. The drummer plays cues for the ensemble, which then provides the spontaneous soundtrack.

In the heyday of ethnomusicology at UH, a full ensemble of gamelan instruments was given to the university by an anonymous donor. Hardja Susilo, who has been the ensemble's director for its entire 30-year history, grew up next to the palace at Jogyakarta, which was haven to music, dance and wayang kulit. He grew to become, by his own humble estimation, the best dancer among musicians and the best musician among the dancers.

Ethnomusicologist Mantle Hood brought Susilo to the UCLA ethnomusicology program in 1958. In 1970, UH was fortunate to hire Susilo to conduct the fledgling ensemble, which he continues to do after his recent retirement from professorship. In this sense, this special performance is as much a tribute to Harjo' s commitment as it is to a centuries-old tradition. •

Hanumannie Messenger Orvis Auditorium,

UH-Manoa Fri 3/17 & Sat 3/18, 7:30

p.m. $10 general, $6 students 956-8742

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Janell A. Israel & Associates Ltd. 1585 Kapiolani Blvd., Suite 1604, Honolulu Hawaii 96814

Tele: (808) 942-8817 • Fax: (808) 946-7656 e-mail: [email protected]

Dir: Martha Fiennes. U.S. 1999 106m Set in the opulent St. Petersburg of the Empire period,

Onegin follows a jaded but dashing aristocrat (Ralph Fiennes)-a man often lacking in empathy who is introduced to the young Tatiana (Liv Tyler). She soon falls hopelessly under the spell of the aloof newcomer and professes her love for him, but his rejection sets in motion a series of events culminating

in tragedy. March 15-17 at 7:30 pm

Night of Counting the Years Dir: Chadi Abdel Salam. Egypt, 1969 102m The discovery of a cache of royal mummies unearthed by a local grave robbing family on the west bank at Luxor in Egypt arouses guilt over the exploitation of the heritage of their country. Programmed in conjunction wih the exhibition Mystery of the Nile: Treasures from Ancient Egypt. March 19 at 4 pm

Flawless ~ Dir: Joel Schumacher. U.S. 1999 112m

A retired security guard recovering from a stroke (Robert DeNiro), is advised to take singing lessons from his drag queen neighbor (Philip Seymour Hoffman) as part of his therapy. Together they help each other find a sense of self-esteem.

March 19 at 6:30 & 8:30 pm HGLCF screening $6/$4 mem

Tumbleweeds Dir Gavin O'Connor. U.S. 1999 98m Mary Jo Walker (Academy Award nominee Janet Mc Teer), mother of a 12 year-old daughter, flees to San Diego to start a new life. Used to making constant shifts, her daughter finally fits in at school, but Mary Jo's worst instincts are fostered by a friend, until led in a new direction in relationshi s b a male co-worker. March 21-23 at 7:30

I March 15 - 21, 2000 • Honolulu Weekly• 13

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From Page 12

18/Saturday ALTERNATIVE Beat Poets, The Pier Bar (9 p.m.) 536-2166 Sunburn, BedRoq Bar and Grill (9 p.m.) 942-8822 Tone Deaf Teens, Wave Waikiki (9 p.m.) 941-0424, ext. 12

BALKAN fOLK Partners in Time, Coffee Time Cafe (7:30 p.m.) 732-7772

CLASSICAL Winston Tan, Royal Garden (8 p.m.) 943-0202

C O N T E M P O R A R Y Tito Berinobis, Chart House (8 p.m.) 949-4321 Mark Caldeira & Clay, Cheeseburger in Paradise (6 p.m.) 923-3731 Mark Caldeira & Clay, Cheeseburger in Paradise (noon) 923-3731 Those Guys, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (9 p.m.) 923-7311 Harmony, Jaron's Kai/ua (10:30 p.m.) 261-4600 Krush, Esprit Nightclub (9 p.m.) 922-4422 Byl Leonard Band, Don Ho's Island Grill (6 p.m.) 528-0807 Pico Payne, Banana Patch Lounge, Miramar Hotel (10 p.m.) 922-2077 Soul'd Out, Pipeline Cafe (9:30 p.m.) 589-1999 Stardust, Hanohano Room (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 Native Tongue, Cheeseburger in Paradise (6 p.m.) 923-3731

D J Wiggle, Acqua (9 p.m.) 924-0123 Urban Groove w/Jammin' 93.1 (hip hop, house, R&B), Flavors (9 p.m.) 922-2344 Afterhours, The Shelter @ 173 9 Kaliikaua Ave. (1 a.m.) Big Night Out on the Moon w/ DJ Gary 0, Brew Moon (10 p.m.) 593-0088 Beach Party w/ Mr. Bond (Top 40, hip hop), Don Ho's Island Grill (9 p.m.) 528-0807

GUITAR Les Among, Arnold's Beach Bar & Grill (9:30 p.m.) 924-6887 Bud Cerio, Havana Cabana (9:30 p.m.) 524-4277

HAWAIIAN Akoni, Hawaiian Regent Lobby Bar (6 p.m.) 922-6611 Darrell Aquino, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (1 p.m.) 923-7311 Watter Carvalho & Ho'omanalo, Mililani Town Center (7 p.m.) 625-5233 Cecilio & Kompany, Compadres (9 p.m.)

591-8307 Pai'ea, Big Island Steakhouse (5 :30 p.m.) 537-4446 Kahali'a, Hawaiian Regent Lobby Bar (9 p.m.) 922-6611 Kanilau, Poolside, Sheraton-Waikiki (6 p.m.) 922-4422 Kapena, Duke's Canoe Club (4 p.m.) 923-0711 Blue Makaha, Shipley's Alehouse & Grill (8 p.m.) 988-5555 Malanai, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (5:30 p.m.) 923-7311 Brado Mamalias, Canoes at the 'llikai (6 p.m.) 949-3811 Dolores Mark, Kiihala Mall, Center Stage (1 p.m.) 732-7736 Marlene & Maheia, Royal Hawaiian Shopping Center (1 p.m.) 922-0588 Olomana, Paradise Lounge, Hilton Hawaiian Village (8 p.m.) 949-4321 Jeff Peterson, Michel's (6:30 p.m.) 923-6552 leon Siu, Mai Tai BarJ Royal Hawaiian (8:30 p.m.) 923-7311 Vaihi, Kincaid's (9:30 p.m.) 591-2005 Haumea Warrington, Bare{ oat Bar, Outrigger Waili.iki Hotel (10 p.m.) 922-2268

HIP HOP/EURO R O C K

(9 p.m.) 922-6611 Ladies K Trio, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (5:30 p.m.) 923-7311 Makana (Matt Swalinkavich), Barefoot Bar, Outrigger Waikiki Hotel (10 p.m.) 922-2268

J A Z Z Azure's Sunday Jam, Virtual Experience (5 p.m.) 926-1777 Gabe & Abe Jazz Ensemble, Honolulu Zoo (4:30 p.m.) 926-3191 Timothy Kallen, Sarento's (7 p.m.) 955-5559

NIGHTCLUB SHOW The Love Notes, 'Ilikai Hotel (8:30 p.m.) 949-3811

P I A N 0 Ginny Tiu, Hanohano Room (10 a.m.) 922-4422

R E G G A E Reggae Sundaze (DJs and live bands), Nick's Fishmarket (10 p.m.) 955-6333 One Way, The Pier Bar (8 p.m.) 536-2166

ROCK/R&B Piranha Brothers, Irish Rose Saloon (9 p.m.) 924-7711 John Cruz, Pipeline Cafe (9:30 p.m.) 589-1999

Lana, Gussie L'Amour's (9 p.m.) 836-7883 S K A

J A Z Z Rachel Gonzales, Padovani's Bistro (9 p.m.) 941-7275 Timothy Kallen, Sarento's (7 p.m.) 955-5559 James Kraft & Ernie Provencher, Roy's (7:30 p.m.) 396-7697 Azure McCall, Chai's Island Bistro (8:30 p.m.) 585-0011

NIGHTCLUB SHOW Dick Jensen w/ Hawai'i's Very Best, Waikiki Terrace (8 p.m.) 955-6000 The Love Notes, 'Ilikai Hotel (8:30 p.m.) 949-3811

P U N K Grapefruit, Knumbskulls, Sticklers, Plural, Quarterhead & TOR, Ottocakes (7 p.m.) 834-6886

ROCK/R&B Piranha Brothers, Irish Rose Saloon (9 p.m.) 924-7711 Palolo Jones, Anna Bannana's (9 p.m.) 946-5190

S W I N G Speakeasy (DJ), The Shelter@ 1739 Kaliikaua Ave. (9 p.m.) Hula Joe & the Hut Jumpers, Kiihala Mall, Center Stage (2:30 p.m.) 732-7736

19/Sunday Circus (hip hop, R&B), World Cafe (9 p.m.) 599-4450

B L U E S J.P. Smoketrain, Old London Pub (9:30 p.m.) 261-1808

CLASSICAL Winston Tan, Lobby Lounge, Kiihala Mandarin Oriental (7:30 p.m.) 739-8888

C O N T E M P O R A R Y Dean & Dean, Chart House (8 p.m.) 949-4321 Night Groove, Hanohano Room (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 Krush, Esprit Nightclub (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 Nani, Clay, Jason, Cheeseburger in Paradise (7 p.m.) 923-3731 Pico Payne, Banana Patch Lounge, Miramar Hotel (9 p.m.) 922-2077

C O U N T R Y The Geezers, Rodeo Cantina (5 p.m.) 454-1200

D J Return to the Jungle Uungle, drum 'n' bass, house), Virtual Experience (11 p.m.) 926-1777 Eklectron, Flavors (11 p.m.) 922-2344 Dark Side of the Moon w/DJ G,Oc,g, Brew Moon (10 p.m.) 593-0088

GUITAR Peter Apo, Cheeseburger in Paradise (noon) 923-3731

HAWAIIAN 'Elua Kane, Jaron's Kailua (9 a.m.) 261-4600 Gordon Freitas, Don Ho's Island Grill (6 p.m.) 528-0807 Friends of Friends, Don Ho's Island Grill (11 a.m.) 528-0807 Johnny Kamae, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (1 p.m.) 923-7311 Henry Kapono, Duke's Canoe Club (4 p.m.) 923-0711 Moe Keale, Poolside, Sheraton-Waikiki (6 p.m.) 922-4422 Kimo Kimokeo, Hawaiian Regent Lobby Bar

Go Jimmy Go, BedRoq Bar and Grill (9 p.m.) 942-8822

S W I N G Jitterbug Junction, Flavors (7 p.m.) 922-2344

20/Monday ALTERNATIVE Alternative Radio (DJs), Flavors (11 p.m.) 922-2344

C L A S S I C A L Winston Tan, Lobby Lounge, Kiihala Mandarin Oriental (7:30 p.m.) 739-8888

C O N T E M P O R A R Y Tito Berinobis, Chart House (9 p.m.) 949-4321 Mark Caldeira & Harry Koizumi, Cheeseburger in Paradise (6 p.m.) 923-3731 Dean & Dean, Chart House (5 p.m.) 949-4321 Krush, Esprit Nightclub (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 Stardust, Hanohano Room (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422

C O U N T R Y The Geezers, Hank's Cafe (7 p.m.) 526-1410

D J Anything Goes Dance Contest, Wave Waikiki (9 p.m.) 941-0424, ext. 12 Eklectron, Flavors (4 a.m.) 922-2344 Blue Mondays, Acqua (9 p.m.) 924-0123 Pop w/ DJ Billy G (house, hip hop, R&B), Virtual Experience (9 p.m.) 926-1777

GUITAR Cielle Kiewit, Arnold's Beach Bar & Grill (9:30 p.m.) 924-6887

HAWAIIAN Remi Abellira, Don Ho's Island Grill (6 p.m.) 528-0807 Lopaka Brown, Waila~a Cocktail Lounge (6 p.m.) 955-1764 Jonah Cummings, Bare{ oat Bar, Outrigger Waikiki Hotel (4 &10 p.m.) 922-2268 Keoki Johnson, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (8:30 p.m.) 923-7311 Johnny Kamae, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (9 p.m.) 923-7311 Ku'uipo Kumukahi, Poolside, Sheraton- Waikiki (6 p.m.) 922-4422 Jake Shimabukuro, Koko Crater Coffee (7:30 p.m.) 393-2422

J A Z Z Rachel Gonzales, Due's Bistro (11:30 a.m.) 531-6325 Azure McCall, Chai's Island Bistro (8:30 p.m.) 585-0011 Pico Payne Quartet, Banana Patch Lounge, Miramar Hotel (8:30 p.m.) 922-2077

ROCK/R&B Piranha Brothers, Irish Rose Saloon (9 p.m.) 924-7711

21/Tuesday C O N T E M P O R A R Y Tito Berinobis, Chart House (5 p.m.) 949-4321 Emerald House, Chart House (9 p.m.) 949-4321 Melveen Leed, Chai's Island Bistro (7 & 9 p.m.) 585-0011 Stardust, Hanohano Room (8:30 p.m.) 922-4422 Booker T., Banana Patch Lounge, Miramar Hotel (10 p.m.) 922-2077


I PHOTO: COURTESY

Music

Dick Jensen's "Waikiki The Way It Was" is where it's at.

s Kickin' - -•

I

RIC VALDEZ

ronically, Dick Jensen - the singer, dancer, comedian-musician known by fans worldwide as "Giant" - is playing the same modest room where he got his start; the same candlelit lounge in the Wail.a.KI Terrace

he literally helped build over 30 years ago. He looks natural in a tuxedo, a glittery crucifix dangling from his neck. A Las Vegas marquis of a diamond ring dwarfs his finger - "JENSEN," in larger than life letters, sparkling in the spotlight. An ordained minister as well as one of America's hottest nightclub stars, Jensen's opening monologue is a kind of testimony:

As a young boy in Kalihi watching Sammy Davis Jr. on TV, live at the Copacabana, I said, "Ma, one of these days I'm gonna play at the Copacabana." . . . My mother looked at me and she said, "Yeah right, wash the dishes. " ... I ended up thinking to myself, "One of these days I'm gonna be there." Twelve years later, at 24 years old, I waltz into the front door of the Copacabana in New York City following Tom Jones and Lou Rawls ... and this is the song I sang . ...

Jensen and his Hawai 'i's Very Best band then erupt into a blistering rendition of Otis Redding's "Tenderness."

But his act is no tent revival. Like his hero, the hippest rat in

the pack, Sammy Davis, Jensen fills up the stage all by himself: singing and dancing, mimicking, doing jokes and impressions - falling just short of juggling plates or ventriloquism. This Hawaiian got heavy soul and serious moon-walking skills. Talking about this knack for what he calls "stage sliding," Jensen says, "It's slippery; it's a balance act."

At the pinnacle of his career, Jensen was sliding all over the place. He enjoyed favorite-son status in Hawai 'i; was a frequent guest on Carson; shared the bill in Vegas or Atlantic City with Joan Rivers, Tom Jones, the Rolling Stones; had numerous TV appearances on Magnum P.I. and Jake and the Fatman. ... And then in 1980, Jensen seriously slipped. Accused of selling cocaine, he pleaded guilty to a conspiracy charge and was given five years probation and a $2,000 fine. Jensen was a free man, but felt locked out, estranged in his own home.

"I used to get really mad when people wanted to talk about that. But then I realized that's what I sowed. I was a drug addict for 15 years. I sowed to that. I figured once I got away from drugs, it would end. But the stories kept going, accusing me of still using. I would get mad. I've been born again; I've been clean for 18 years. They think that

my Christian walk and my work at the church is a front."

ensen' s "walk" leads him to Hawai 'i penitentiaries, where he ministers as well as performs. His message to inmates is one of faith: "God gave me grace, if nothing else. I'm supposed

to be sitting right where you' re sitting. God did me a favor. The Lord spoke to me one night [he hums the Twilight Zone theme]: He told me I wasn't going to prison. My God is going to free me. The truth shall set you free."

Jensen shared more truth than necessary to prove his sobriety to me.

"Six months ago at a club a guy handed me some coke. 'Brudda,' I said, 'Just . .. Aloha,' ya' know? And I said, 'Dis is mine?' He said, 'Yeah.'

"I said, 'Come with me.' I took him to the bathroom. I said, 'It's mine, right?"' Here he reenacts pouring a gram of coke into the toilet. "He started screaming, 'What you doing?!"'

"Now go tell your friends what you saw Dick Jensen do."

Star-struck by the many pictures I saw hanging on his wall (Jensen with Jerry Lewis, Don Rickles, Sinatra ... too many "heavies" to name), I wanted to tell him, ''I'm not judging you, Mr. Jensen - all of my heroes have already OD'd. Your show knocked me out. I think you're a certified Hawaiian music legend."

Instead I took advantage of his candidness, and asked how the brazen " Dr' in those photos would have handled that same temptation?

"Oh please, that's a one-second woof." Jensen's tone is humorous and slightly nostalgic, recalling those turbulent times:

'1 had a great time. I enjoyed getting loaded, I enjoyed the drugs, all of that stuff, but I realized my life was going in the toilet. I lost my wife my family, my house .. . I lost everything because of drugs. But here I am alive and well, and I can thank the Lord because he did this for me. Kept me alive .... " Jensen beams when his No. 1 fan, his 5-year-old daughter Nikki, enters the room.

Robert "Flash" Hanson, known to most for his work at revamping Wave W aikild' s music oflate, is the promotions consultant for the Dick Jensen "Waikili the Way It Was" show.

"We're trying to take the best of what Dick represented in the past - a variety show, the kind of show you don't see anymore, a Las Vegas-style variety show," says Hanson of his latest project. "It's not just a straight singing show. Dick has 40 years worth of material to pull from in any given hourand-a-half show. Every single show is a surprise."

Dick Jensen's star rose in an era that we will never see the likes of again. He's a product of a classic age, when performers induced women to throw panties on stage; busted their asses to dazzle their audiences. Talent got you the gig and the allnighters - bangin' chorus girls and martinis for breakfast weren't fronts to establish "player'' credibility, but a way of life. I've never been to the Copacabana; I was too young to see the "Rat Pack," and now they're all dead - but fortunately for us, 'The Giant'' Dick Jensen is still very much alive and kicking. •

Dick Jensen with Hawai'i's Very Best- Waikiki Terrace Hotel, 2045 Kaliikaua Ave.: Every Thu - Sat, 8 p.m. $35 general, $25 kama'iiina, $I 5 keiki. ( Price includes one cocktail for adults.) 943-9797.

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...

From Page 14

Native Tongue, Cheeseburger in Paradise (6 p.m.) 923-3731

C O U N T R Y The Geezers, Kickstand Cafe, The American Dream (8:30 p.m.) 591-9268

D J Eklectron, Flavors (4 a.m.) 922-2344 The Pussycat Lounge Presents DJ Uam Dollard, Wave Waikiki (9 p.m.) 941-0424, ext. 12

HAWAIIAN Darrell Aquino, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (9 p.m.) 923-7311 Jonah Cummings, Barefoot Bar, Outrigger Waikiki Hotel (4 &10 p.m.) 922-2268 Pai'ea, Big Island Steakhouse (5:30 p.m.) 537-4446 Keith & Carmen Haugen, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (5:30 p.m.) 923-7311 Nedward Ka'apana, Hawaiian Regent Lobby Bar (6 p.m.) 922-6611 Kanilau, Poolside, Sheraton-Waikiki (6 p.m.) 922-4422 Makana, Havana Cabana (9:30 p.m.) 524-4277 Brado Mamalias, Canoes at the 'Ilikai (6 p.m.) 949-3811 Haumea Warrington, Don Ho's Island Grill (6 p.m.) 528-0807

HIP HOP Underground Hip Hop Lounge (hip hop, R&B, soul), Flavors (11 p.m.) 922-2344

J A Z Z Rachel Gonzales, Due's Bistro (11:30 a.m.) 531-6325 Rich Crandall et al., Studio 6 (8 p.m.) 596-2123

ROCK/R&B Bongo Tribe, Irish Rose Saloon (9 p.m.) 924-7711

Concerts i Drumming and Dance of West Africa: A Rhythmic Heritage This concert is sure to

lift your heart while raising funds for the Senegalese village of Sandiara. Featured artists include Mamadou Ndiaye Rose, Lansana and Assane Kouyate and others. Art Auditorium, UH-Manoa: Fri 3/17, 7 p.m. $15. 377-DRUM UH Riley Francis The Honolulu Symphony's eclectic percussionist stages a beat down of composers ranging from Bach to R.E.M. Atherton Performing Arts Studio, Hawai'i Public Radio, 738 Kaheka St.: Sun 3/19, 4 p.m. $10 - $15. 955-8821 Rob & Marcia Prester, Deshannon Higa The trio (two pianos, one trumpet) plays classical music by Grieg, Haydn, Chopin and more. Studio 6, 949 Kapi'olani Blvd. (enter from Waimanu St.}: Sun 3/19, 8 p.m. 596-2121

On Sale i Forever Tango Acclaimed Argentinean singer Carlos Morel is joined by a cast of 26 performers - 14 dancers plus a live orchestra - for an event that spans the history of the tango. Hawai'i Theatre Center, 1130 Bethel St.: Tue 3/28 - Thu 3/30 & Sun 4/2, 7:30 p.m.; Fri 3/31 & Sat 4/1, 8 p.m.; matinees Sat 4/1 & Sun 4/2, 2 p.m. $30 - $55. 528-0506 i Mardi Gras 2000 Creole food, cold brews and, oh yeah .. . the King of Zydeco: Louisiana's Buckwheat Zydeco is joined by special guest Mitch Wood and The Big Easy Boogie Band for a night of accordion-powered swamp boogie. Honolulu Zoo, 151 Kapahulu Ave.: Through Fri 3/24, Fri 3/24, 7 p.m. (808) 326-9148 Mark Twain Tonight Hal Holbrook - man o' stage, screen and television - has been performing one version or another of Mark Twain for more than 50 years. Now he arrives for a one-night performance of this one-man play. Blaisdell Concert Hall, 777 Ward Ave.: Through Thu 3/23, Thu 3/23, 8 p.m. $19 - $39. 526-4400

Ricky Martin We can't wait for Ricky Martin to come out, live and on stage, for his Hawai'i debut at the Aloha Stadium. Can you feel the Latin heat? Aloha Stadium. Sun 3/26, 7:30 p.m. $37.50 - $95. 486-9300 i Sugar Ray The former metalheads bring their mellowed sound to Hawai'i's shores. Tickets available at Radio Free Music Center, Hungry Ear, Jelly's, UH Campus Center, Tower Records and military ticket outlets. World Cafe, 1130 N. Nimitz Hwy.: $26.50. 599-4450

Readings Ian MacMillan The author and UH English professor gives a reading of his works from Paris Review, Iowa Review and Best American Short Stories. Call for admission fee. Little Theatre, Windward Community College, 45-720 Kea'ahala Rd., Kane'ohe: Wed 3/15, 7:30 p.m. 235-7446

Theater & Dance A Flight of Dragons Multiple directors and playwrights collaborate on this loving exploration of our world, one based on the premise that dragons existed once upon a time. Aimed at adults, but appropriate for children 10 years and up. Earle Ernst LAB Theatre, UHManoa campus: Thu 3/16 - Sat 3/18, 8 p.m.; Sun 3/19, 2 p.m. $3 - $8. 956-7655 Buried Child The Actors' Group presents Sam Shepard's controversial 1979 Pulitzer Prize-winner about, yes, a dysfunctional American family torn by its secrets and memories. Yellow Brick Studio, 625 Keawe St.: Wed 3/15 & Thu -Sun, 3/16 -4/2, 7:30 p.m. $10. 591-7999 i Forever Plaid You've got your death in my <loo-wop. I've got my <loo-wop in your death. See how well the two mix in this musical comedy of a 1950s quartet who meets an untimely end on the way to stardom. Miinoa

Valley Theatre, 2833 E. Manoa Rd: Through 3/26: Wed & Thu, 7:30 p.m.; Fri & Sat, 8 p.m.; Sun, 4 p.m. $10 - $25. 988-6131 i Mardi Gras Follies The annual Las Vegasstyle revue makes its glam return the shores of Pearl Harbor. Pearl Harbor Banyans Club, Avenue A, Bldg. #1247: Fri 3/17 - Sun 3/19; Fri 3/24 - Sat 4/1 $35 - $40. 473-1073 i The Millennium Korean Cultural Festi· val See Dance Pick on Page 10. Blaisdell Concert Hall, 777 Ward Ave.: Mon 3/20, 7 p.m. $15 - $30. 536-1539 i Mixed Plate Special: Stories that Feed Us The HTY Playwright's Hui created this show, rich with the folklore and traditions of Asia and the Pacific. Stories range from tragic to comic in this exploration of the cultures of Hawai'i. Leeward Community College Theater, 96-04 5 Ala Ike Rd., Pearl City: Tue 3/18, 2:30 & 4:30 p.m. $5 - $10. 455-0385 Spur Kumu Kahua presents the world premiere of Dennis Carroll's tale of a UH professor fired for the statement that no "local" would ever write great literature. Years later, storms break the silence when a former student seeks his help. Kumu Kahua Theatre, 46 Merchant St.: Thu - Sat through 4/9 (except Fri 3/17), 8 p.m.; Sun, 2 p.m. $5 - $15. 536-4441 i Street Umbo Blues Taurie Kinoshita and Cruel Theatre return with another audience interactive play, this time based on the 1959 Jack Gelber play The Connection, which is itself heavily based on Beckett's Waiting For Godot. Street Limbo Blues takes place in a real bar, where the characters mingle with the patrons. By consulting the actors for the hour, it's your task to find Aaron Devlin. Or, as Kinoshita puts it, "It's up to the audience to decide who Aaron is and what they themselves are waiting for." -Robb Bonnell American Dream, 1201 Kona St. (corner of Pensacola and Kona}: Sat & Sun, 3/11 - 3/19, 7:20 - 9 p.m. $9; $6 students/seniors. 523-1004 You Can't Take It With You Hart and Kaufman's Pulitzer Prize-winning comedy about a

LaserVision - IASIK - Intacs

r1ence You Can

group of eccentrics struggling to find happiness. Honolulu Waldorf School, 350 Ulua St., Niu Valley: Fri 3/17 -Sun 3/19, 7 p.m. $5; $3 students. 735-9311

Auditions ABC TV's South Pacific Actors are needed to play Bloody Mary (Tonkinese, 40- to 60-years old, Pidgin-speaking) and her daughter (18 years). Those interested should should be available from May -August, and should contact Elissa Josephson Public Relations for a script. Auditions are to be taped and submitted. 732-7733

Museums Bishop Museum 1525 Bernice St. Open daily 9 a.m. -5 p.m. $14.95 Adults; $1 l.95 youth age 4 - 12; under 4 free. 847-3511.

Behind the Scenes Tour A new program at the Bishop, in which the museum opens up a portion of its huge collection of cultural artifacts to public viewing. The program starts with a 20-minute dramatic presentation telling the story of High Chief Liloa and the rivalry between his two sons. This presentation is followed by an hourlong behind-the-scenes tour of the cultural collections. Daily l - 2:30 p.m. (Note: Fee for the one-hour tour is $15.)

Star Station One A scale model of the International Space Station, another "build as you go" hands-on model demonstrating how the Space Station is actually being built in orbit, and daily • demonstrations offering the opportunity to dock a piece of the space station, join two components while blindfolded and create a massive meteor storm. Through 2001.

To Honor and Comfort: Native Quilting Traditions A traveling exhibit from the Smithsonian featuring 45 Native American and Hawaiian quilts, and the history, aesthetics and social meaning of each. Through 5n. Children's Discovery Center Children can


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Theater

Kumu Kahua makes theater~lovers out of locals who once dreaded drama.

Patron Saints JASON SOEDA

umu Kahua exists to prove wrong the notion that theater-going is meant solely for the sophisticated Caucasian (a k a upwardly mobile honky). If you're a local who secretly (or per

haps freely) shares this sentiment, you ought to visit Kumu Kahua Theatre's operation on Merchant Street in Honolulu. Its humble playhouse has something offered by no other in the state.

Kumu Kahua productions are mostly about life in Hawai 'i, and they're mostly written by Hawai'i's playwrights for Island people. The team of actors, directors, playwrights, designers and artists continuously produce , devout theater lovers out of people who once had to be dragged kicking and screaming to an evening of drama.

Loyal patrons from all walks of life already have season tickets to the remaining four plays of the season. They have enjoyed The Season of Yellow Ginger, the first of five shows this year. However, many locals may miss out on Spur, the unique production that's up now through April 9, because they assume they don't qualify as welcome participants.

Some locals are intimidated or turned off by what they believe theater is all about. Suggest an evening at the theater, and they picture a room chock-full of turtleneck-sweatered beatniks and camouflaged radicals who will converge and pounce on the ignorant newcomer.

rtistic Director Harry Wong ill has hacked his way to the root of the problem. He addresses the issue bluntly, saying, "Theater is a haole form. There is no tradition of theater-going

in Hawai 'i, and when people hear about theater, they think, 'Ho, I goin' get some class! 'Ass why I goin' go theater! Eh, I get mo' class den you tink."'

Kumu Kahua was born in reaction to this kind of thinking. Its doors are open, and people are encouraged to leave their hang-ups at the door. Often, seats are filled with sweet aunties and uncles in T-shirts, shorts and aloha wear. Others arrive on the scene in elegant evening wear; that's fine, but audience members can come as they are.

Wong says newcomers are often shocked to hear performers onstage speaking Pidgin English, along with the dialects, expressions and body languages they're familiar with. Then there's the dialogue, which often refers to familiar places and experiences: say, plate lunches

at Zippy's, hooking up with someone at Restaurant Row or cruising at Sandy Beach.

Wong recalls a friendly group of Tongans, Hawaiians and Samoans from Nanfilculi who came to see a performance. Because Kumu Kahua relies heavily on word-of-mouth publicity, Wong was surprised that news of the show had reached them. He was delighted to hear they'd enjoyed the experience.

"Ho, it was good; it made me laugh, it made me cry!" they told him. "I had no problem understanding it."

Other theaters in Honolulu try to get more people interesteGl in theater, Wong notes, but more could be done.

"For example, the Honolulu Theatre for Youth does a pretty good job of reaching preschool, elementary and a bit of the intermediate kids - but they begin to lose people in high school. For the students to be corralled in one place and have to watch something is almost impossible. We're trying to reach out to high school students to see if they can continue coming to theater."

Box-office records show that many high school students purchase tickets to Kumu Kahua performances. Perhaps it's because there's nothing sugar-coated about the performances. People swear. People get injured. People die.

"It's the truth that kids appreciate," Wong says.

Truth, of course, is not confined to the Islands. By that token, Wong argues these plays hold their own against Mainland competition, too.

"Most of the other theaters in town bring in plays from the Mainland, and they try to say that they appeal universally to people," he says. "It's the same thing with the stories here. Even though they are set here, they all have universal themes."

Kumu Kahua is a not-for-profit

theater company. It is currently celebrating its 29th season of producing plays never before seen in Hawai 'i. Over 100 plays have been produced by the theater. Many of these are world-premiere works by local playwrights, or Hawai 'i premieres of shows by playwrights from the Mainland and other countries.

Thanks to loyal season-ticket holders and local-theater lovers, the theater is often filled to capacity. That's impressive, considering that Kumu Kahua is practically invisible to some people driving or even walking past the comer of Merchant and Bethel streets. There are only 120 seats open for every performance. This means that over a 20-show run, only 2,400 will get to enjoy a particular show in its all-black, 56-by-32-feet performance room.

Tickets to Kumu Kahua performances have always been inexpensive. Prices remain low to make plays accessible to the widest possible audience. On Thursdays, general admission is $12, seniors and the unemployed get tickets for $10, while students pay $5. On Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, tickets are $15 for general admission and $12 for seniors, and $10 for students and children. For $60 (sometimes the price of a single ticket at other theaters), one could get season tickets to five Kumu Kahua performances. Renewing subscribers pay $50.

If you still haven't tested the waters of Island theatergoing, Kumu Kahua's productions may be just the ticket. Like a concentrated dose of experience, this theater can add to your understanding and appreciation of the local way of life. Nothing wrong with that, eh? •

Spur - Kumu Kahua Theatre, 46 Merchant St.: Thu - Sat, 3/15 - 4/9 (except for Fri 3/17), 8 p.m.; Sun, 2 p.m. $5 - $15. 536-4441.

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7:00PM - HAWAIIAN REGENT HOTEL -- $30 Neale shares the next part of his journey, Friendship with God ... the first in his new series, and leads us to deepen and strengthen our own bonds with God. He honors our hearts desire: a closer connection, a richer and fuller friendship with God

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EARLY BIRD SPECIAL: $95 BOTH EVENTS, CALL BY MARCH 15

To order tickets call (808) 396-4673 (HOPE) Visa/MC For more infonnation call (808) 735-4436 x315

gambol through four galleries of gadgetry and installations that celebrate and educate. 110 'Ohe St. Open Tue -Fri, 9 a.m.-4 p.m.; Sat and Sun, 10 a.m.- 3 p.m. $8 adults, $6.75 children 2- 17. 522-8910 The Contemporary Museum 2411 Makiki Heights Dr. Open Tue - Sat, 10 a.m. -4 p.m., Sun noon - 4 p.m. $5 adults; $3 seniors (free every third Thursday of the month). 526-1322

Apple Canon: Paintings by Thomas Woodruff His touching 365 piece "apple a day" opus won't keep anyone away. Through 3/26.

Disturbing Desire: Vuleo Works by Ximena Cuevas, Diane Nerwen and Shelley Silver Through 3/26.

Vik Muniz: Seeing Is Believing This New York blending of photography and sculpture · examines the nature of reality. Through 3/26. The Contemporary Cafe 2411 Makiki Heights Drive. Open Tue -Sat, 10 a.m. -4 p.m., Sun noon - 4 p.m. 526-1322

Monster Portfolio Monster-sized and-themed prints by the Honolulu Printmakers Through 5n. The Contemporary Museum at First Hawaiian Center 999 Bishop St. Open Mon -Thu, 8:30 a.m. - 4 p.m.; Fri, 8:30 a.m. - 6 p.m. 526-1322

Busy Being Born: Glass Works by Robert A. Mickelsen Known for his intricate goblets and vessels featuring whimsical sculptural and narrative elements, the artist has recently moved away from his vessel-like pieces and is working toward forms that are more organic and abstract. Through 5/17.

Nancy Grossman: Fire Fields Ten collages and two assemblages inspired by the New York artist's 1992 helicopter ride over the vents and • lava flows of Kilauea. Through 5/17.

90 Degrees: Paintings by Evan Asato, William Bartlett and Akira Iha Abstract minimalism from three different points of view. Look for optimism, Zen and a little bit of magic. Through 5117. The Damien Museum Pay homage to the patron saint of Moloka'i by browsing through Father Damien's memorabilia and remembering all that he sacrificed for those with leprosy. 130 'Ohua Ave.: Open Mon -Fri, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. 923-2690 Hawaiian Plantation Village This outdoor museum's 30 structures (preserved in their original condition) are devoted to plantation life and the eight ethnic minority groups who tended to the plantation from the mid-19th century through World War Il. 94-695 Waipahu St.: Open Mon -Fri, 9 a.m. -3 p.m.; Sat 10 a.m. -3 p.m. $7 adults, $5 kama'aina, military, $4 seniors, $3 children 5-12, free to children under 5 years. 677-0110 Honolulu Academy of Arts 900 S. Beretania St. Open Tue - Sat, 10 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.; Sun 1 p.m. - 5 p.m. $7 general, $4 seniors, military & students. 532-8701

Art of, by, and for Children Through 6/25. Contemporary Japanese Crafts Master

Japanese craftsmen incorporate Western styles into ancient techniques to create this six part exhibition. Through 4/16.

Mystery of the Nile: Treasures from Ancie11t Egypt (See story on p. 15.) Through 7/30.

Nabuko Nagura Zecha Collection Japanese hair ornaments and kimono reflecting the four seasons. Through 5n.

Selections of Twentieth-Century Art from the Academy's Collection Modern art usually on view in the Luce Gallery will be moved to the Second Floor galleries to make room for the upcoming Nile installations. Through 8/27.

Sight Lines/Fault Lines. Local artist Marcia Morse presents a series of 140 identically dimensioned modules, reflecting on meaningfulness derived from disparity. Works in plaster, felt, plexiglass, slate and paper, among other things. Opens 1/20, runs through 3/19. 'lolani Palace Built by King Kalakaua, this beautiful and extravagant home is the nostalgic site where Hawaiian sovereignty was lost and Queen Lili'uokalani was placed under house arrest during the overthrow of the Hawaiian monarchy. Open Tue - Sat, 9 a.m. - 2:15 p.m. $15 adults, $5 children, children under 5 not permitted. 538-14 71 Maritime Museum Pier ?-Honolulu Harbor: Open daily, 8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. $7.50 adults, $4.50 children. 523-6151 Mission Houses Museum Step back in time to experience the social history of early 19thcentury Hawai'i and the cultural encounters of Hawaiians, missionaries, and other foreigners. Includes the oldest frame structure in the Islands, as well as a printing press, mission depository, living history and other exhibits. 533 S King St.: Open Tue - Sat, 9 a.m. - 4

From Page 18

p.m. $8 adults, $7 kama'aina, military, $6 seniors, $4 students, children 4-13, $3 children 3 and under. 531-0481 Queen Emma Summer Palace Revel in Hawaiian history and American architecture from the Victorian period at the summer retreat, which was first built in Boston, then shipped in pre-cut frames and sections around South America before arriving in Hawai'i. 2913 Pali Hwy.: Open daily, 9 a.m. -4 p.m. $5. 595-3167 Madge Tennent Gallery The home of the oil paintings and drawings of child prodigy Madge Tennent is a walk through the mind of the artist, one who has influenced and inspired many contemporary local creators. 203 Prospect St.: Open Tue - Sat, 10 a.m. -12 p.m.; Sun 2 - 4 p.m. Free. 531-1987 USS Bowfin Submarine Museum and Park The World War II submarine will astound you with its enormity, its outdoor exhibits and the intimidating WWII Japanese Suicide Missile. Although much of the artifacts in the museum are from the WWII era, there is also material dating back from the Revolutionary War. See it, and pay your respects to what Tom Brokaw has made millions writing about the so-called "greatest generation." Yeah, they're cool. So's my grandmother. Soooo, anyhoo, get down there, and then for see the USS Missouri, and then the sunken USS Arizona. Make John McCain happy about something.11 Arizona Memorial Dr.: Open daily, 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. $8 adults, $3 children 4-12, free children 3 and under. 423- 1341

Galleries Continuing e The 7th International Shoebox Sculpture Exhibition A widely varied multimedia exhibition of pieces smaller than a shoe box. Through 4/14. UH Art Gallery, UH-Manoa campus: Sun, noon -4 p.m.; Mon, Wed -Fri,

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10:30 a.m. -4 p.m.; Tue, 10:30 a.m. - 8 p.m. Free. 956-6888 A Brush with the Soul Pieces by the painters of Playworks studio. Through 3/17. HPU Art Gallery, Hawai'i Pacific University, Hawai'i Loa campus: Mon - Sat 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. Free. 236-3567 A Celebration of Wren Books, prints and other fine art by this local children's author and illustrator will be sold to benefit rhe late artist's only child. Through 4/1. Native Books, 1244 North School St.: Mon - Fri, 9 a.m. -5 p.m.; Sat, 10 a.m. -3 p.m. Free. 845-8949 Abstracted FormsandFigures Works by Ga[] Bakutis, Patricia Cru:elli, HanSolo and others. Through 3/31. Honolulu Advertiser Gallery, 605 Kapi'olani Blvd.: Mon - Fri, 8:30 a.m. -5:30 p.m. Free. 263-1159 Anonymous Donor Works from the recently formed artist's hui known as "Special Perscription," which includes many of the best and brightest of O'ahu's next wave artists. Thrq,ugh 3/25. Che Pasta Cafe, 1001 Bishop St.: Mon - Fri, 11 a.m. - 2 p.m., 4 - 8 p.m. Free. 524-0004 Astract Developments Paintings by Patricia Carelli-Ebert. Through 3/31. Arts of Paradise, International Market Place: Sun - Sat, 9:30 a.m. - 9:30 p.m. Free. 924-2787 Bonhui Uy: Designer, Artist and Illustrator A multimedia showcase by the international artist and architect. Through 4/7. School of Architecture Gallery, room 204, UH-Manoa campus: Mon - Fri, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. 956-8311 Celebrate the Century with Stamps Hundreds of stamps to set you adrool. Through 4/7. Gallery 'Iolani, Windward Community College: Tue - Sat, 1- 5 p.m. Free. 235-7346 Celebrating Children's Art Education The Windward Arts Council honors educator Daunna Yanoviak with this annual event. Through 3/30. Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden, 45-680 Luluku Rd., Kane'ohe: Mon -Sat, 9 a.m. -4 p.m. Free. 233-7323 The Disappearing Hawai'i Ink and collage

art from Everett Y.S. Ching. Through 3/25. Pauahi Gallery@ Bishop Square, 1001 Bishop St.: Mon - Fri, 10 a.m. -4 p.m. Free. 734-8018 Doi & D'Angelo 2000 Paintings by Dexter and Carol, respectively. Through 3/20. Honolulu Hale Courtyard, corner King & Punchbowl Streets: Mon -Fri, 8 a.m. -4 p.m. Free. Facing the Person Ink drawings by Murray Turnbull. Through 3/19. Queen Emma Gallery, 1301 Punchbowl St.: Daily, 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Free. 537-7167 Flower and Colour A new show of oils and mixed media by Nojo. Through 4/8. Artmosphere Gallery, 1109 Nu'uanu Ave. (next to Indigo Restaurant): Tue - Fri, 11 a.m. - 5 p.m.; Sat, 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Free. 525-5200 Frances Ferdinands Paintings by the Canadian artist nearly responsible for World War I (think about it, think about it ... there you go). Through 3/20. Kapi'olani Community College, 4303 Diamond Head Rd.: Tue -Fri, 11 a.m. - 2 p.m., 5 - 8 p.m. Free. 734-9375 Gloria Foss Intricate and painstaking tissue paper collages by the artist and author of How to Paint. Through 4/8. Alfred's Restaurant, 3rd Floor, Century Center, 1750 Kalakaua Ave.: Tue -Fri, 11 a.m. -2 p.m., 6 - 10 p.m. Free. 955-5353 Hawaiian Nature The Premiere of oils, acrylics and paints by Nikki Johnston. Through 4/14. Coffeeline Gallery, 1820 University Ave.: Mon - Fri, 7 a.m. - 4 p.m.; Sat, 7 a.m. -noon. Free. 947-1615 Honolulu Dreams Iris prints and serigraphs by Rosalie Prussing. Through 3/31. Ko'olau Gallery, Manoa Marketplace: Tue - Sun, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Free. 988-4147 t Honolulu Printmakers Annual Exhibi· tion In its 72nd year and still going strong. Through 3/19. Linekona Academy Art Center, 1111 Victoria St.: Tue - Sat, 10 a.m. -4:30 p.m.; Sun, 1 - 5 p.m. Free. 532-8741 The International Festival - Children of the Dragon This year's annual event features artists from Vietnam. Through 3/24. Koa Gallery, Kapi'olani Community College,


1) Display Sales Account Executive Your proven experience in sales development and leadership by example can make you a candidate for our Display Sales Account Executive position. The ideal candidate will have media sales experience, bring creative ideas, an organized approach and excellent communication skills. Please send cover letter, resume and compensation requirements to: Lora Williams, Ho1wlulu Weekry, 1200 College Walk, Suite 214, Honolulu, Hl 96817. No phone calls please. 2) Classified Sales Manager Lead, inspire and develop our growing classified team. Must have 2 years experience selling print media, preferably in classified or classified display and a proven track record of success. Mgmt/ Supervisory experience preferred. Salary + commission + bonus and benefits. Fax resume, cover and comp requirements, Attn Sales Manager to: (808) 528-3144 or mail to: Ho110/ulu Week(y, 1200 College Walk, Suite 214, Honolulu, HI 96817. No phone calls please.

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From Page 19

4303 Diamond Head Rd.: Mon· Fri, 10 a.m. -4 p.m.; Sat 10 a.m. · 2 p.m. Free. 734-9375 i Jet Lag (Los Angeles, Honolulu and New York) The first in a series of shows created by three UH alumni who dispersed to the three cities mentioned. Works address issues of regionalism, monoculturalism and the fraternity of artists. Through 4/8. Salons, 1160-a Nu'uanu Ave.: Tue - Sat, noon · 8 p.m. Free. 550-2855 Pam Barton Paper sculpture and fiber art. Through 3/25. The Gallery at Ward Centre, 1200 Ala Moana Blvd.: Mon - Sat, 10 a.m. · 9 p.m.; Sun, 10:30 a.m. · 4:30 p.m. Free. 597-8034 Photograph Exhibit Recent works by Philip Spalding ill. Through 4/29. Mission Houses M11se11m, 553 S. King St.: Tue· Sat, 9 a.m. · 4p.m.Free.531-0481 . _ Sueiios y Recuerdos - C1en Anos en Hawai'i The United Puerto Rican Association of Hawai'i celebrates 100 years in paradise with this multimedia display. Through 3/22. U.P.R.A.H. Social Hall, 1249 N. School St.: Mon -Wed, 10 a.m. · 2 p.m. Free. 847-2751 The Transparence of Stone A multimedia exploration of human nature by Scott Fuller. Through 3/31. Gallery on the Pali, 2500 Pali Hwy.: Mon . Fri, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.; Sat & Sun, 1 - 4 p.m. Free. 526-1191 West Moloka'i Landscapes Photographs by Philip Spalding. Through 4/29. Mission Ho11ses M11se11m, 553 S. King St.: Free. 531-0481

learning Betty Burdick's Workshop for Actors Director and Po'okela-nominated actor Betty Burdick leads this workshop for those with prior training and experience. Call for registration and location. Pacific Intercultural Academy, PO Box 240154, Honolulu, 96824: Through Tue 5/2, 6:30 · 8:30 p.m. $130. 394-6547 Brown Bagging to Conversational Hawaiian There are no textbooks to buy, no quizzes and no homework, but you do need to register for this popular beginner's course. Old Archives Building, 'Iolani Palace: Every Wed (except holidays), 11 a.m. & noon $5 per class. 522-0827 Buddhism Study Group Offered by Wind· horse Health Care. Meditation and study based on The Myth of Freedom by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Pali Palms Office Building, Kailua: Every Thu through 4/6, 7 p.m. Free. 261-5566 Contact Improvisation Not off-the-cuff pickup lines, but a movement class for people of all levels. Mo'ili'ili Community Center, 2535 S. King St.: Every Fri, 3 · 4:45 p.m. $10 per class. Call for more info. 955-0848 Dancesport Club Learn ballroom and Latin dance in a friendly setting.? Lower Camp11s Athletic Complex, Studio 3, UH-Manoa,

From Page 19

across from the Arena ticket office: Every Sun, 7 -10 p.m. $5; $1 students. 951-764 Drum Joy Learn the basics of hand drumming African rhythms, including singing and movement. Bring a stool, and call ahead to borrow a drum. Atherton YMCA, 1810 University Ave.: Every Mon, 3 - 5 p.m. $10 per class. 377-DRUM Flexibility and Tai Chi Part of the ongoing workshops for seniors age 55 and up. This class will emphasize stretching and breathing, as well as chi awareness and ease of movement. Call for registration and exact location. Windward Comm11nity College, 45-720 Kea'ahala Rd., Kane'ohe: Fri 3/17, 9:30 -11:30 a.m. $9. 235-7433 Panel Discussion on Toni Morrison's Narratives Call for reservations to this discussion by the African Black American Education Center. 1132 Bishop St., 3rd Fl. Conference Room. Sat 3/18, 9 a.m. - noon. Free. 528-5037 Practical Insight Meditation Buddhism blends with Western psychology (draw, less'n yer yella'!) in Michele McDonald-Smith's class on Vipassana Meditation. Calvary By the Sea Lutheran Church, 5339 Kalaniana'ole Hwy., 'Aina Haina: every Mon through 4/3, 7:30 - 9 p.m. $5 - $10 donation per class. 735-2708 Wheels to Heal WHC wants you to remember that your (tax-deductible) donated car can help someone in need. Please call these fme folks for details. Waikiki Health Center, 2 77 'Ohua Ave.: 922-4787 Yoga & The Athlete Call for reservations to this special, intensive workshop entitled "How to Get Relief from Lower Body Injuries." Yoga Hawai'i Studio, 1152 Koko Head Ave., Kaimuki: Fri 3/17, 5:45 - 7:45 p.m. $40. 220-9355

Botanical Coconut Weaving Make even McGyver, that crazy TV hero whom our copy editor bears a passing resemblance, jealous with the skill to make toys, hats, bowls and plantm from simple coconut leaflets. Foster Botanical Gardens, 180 N. Vineyard Blvd.: Every Thu through 4/27, 9:30 a.m. -12:30 p.m. $15 per class; $10 members. 537-1708 Hydroponics Gardening It'll cost you green to get green, but it's worth it. Learn how to grow plants without soil with this class and its take home kit. Ho'omaluhia Botamcal Garden, 45-680 Luluku Rd., Kane'ohe: Sat 3/18, 9:30 . 11 :30 a.m. $30. 233-7323 Mulching Workshop Walking shoes, insect repellent, rain gear and a container to take mulch home are all recommended at this program on garden recycling. Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden, 45-680 Luluku Rd., Kane'ohe: Sar 3/18, 9:30 · 11:30 a.m. Free. 233-7323

Kids Keiki Storytime Foster a love of reading in your kids, before they turn into bad seeds. Borders Books, Waikele, 94-821 Lum1a10a: Every Tue at 10:30 a.m. & every Sat at 11 a.m. Free. 676-6699

Hikes & Excursions The Diamond Head Story The all-volunteer Clean Air Team takes hikers 2.5 miles to the top of Diamond Head Crater, giving them geologic and historic facts along the way. Honolulu Zoo Entrance, 151 Kapahulu Ave.: Every Sat, 9 a.m. - noon. $5. 948-3299 Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden Walk Enjoy tropical plants and majestic views of the Ko'olau Mountains on guided garden walks. Insect repellent and light rain gear recommended; walking shoes required. Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden, 45-680 Luluku Rd., Kane'ohe: Weekly: Sat, 10 a.m.; Sun, 1 p.m. Free. 233-7323 Legendary Nu'uanu Valley Walk Scott Burlington leads you up the old Pali Road on a trip into rural yesteryear. Bus fares will get you there and back. Honolulu Zoo Entrance, 151 Kapahulu Ave.: Every Sun, 9 a.m. · 2 p.m. $10, plus two bus fares. 948-3299 Moonwalk It's a wonderful night for a moon dance, or walk, or jig, straight to Waimea Falls. Don't you think? Waimea Valley and

Adventure Park and Arboretum, 59-864 Kamehameha Hwy., Waimea: Fri 3/17, 8:30 p.m. $3; $5 couples; $7 families. 638-8511 Wahiawa Hills Ride the waves of Wahiawa's undulating ridges, and relax at a strea_m at the midpoint of this six-mile hike. Hawaiian Trail & Mountain Club, Meet at 'Iolani Palace grounds, mauka side: Sun 3/19, 8 a.m. $2 donation. 678-0841 Women's History Walking Tours Mission Houses Museum honors Women's History Month with these tours of Honolulu's historic sites, describing life for women in 19th~century Hawai'i. Call for times and reservat10ns. Mission Houses Museum, 553 S. Kmg St.: Sat, 3/18 & 3/25 $10 · $15. 531-0481

Whatevahs AHernative Look at Health This health fair offers workshops (given by legitimate doctors, and such) on such topics as holistic medicine, healthy cooking and the health benefits of wine. Campus Center 307-308, UH Manoa campus: Wed 3/15, 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Free. 956-2702 BunnyCares Is your rabbit fussy? Bring along your lop-eared lovely for free nail trims and lessons on proper handling. Pet/and, Kiihala, 4400 Kalaniana'ole Hwy.: Sat 3/18, noon -5 p.m. Free. 375-2950 i Cades Library Art & Books Sale New and used art books and magazines will be sold to purchase ... more art books and magazines for the library. The Contemporary Museum, 2411 Makiki Heights Dr.: Thu ~ 3/16 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. 526-0232 Hon~lulu Street Market Local foods and crafts in a casual (read "asphalt") setting. Diamond Parking Lot, 600 Queen St. (by the Advertiser building): Every Sat, 8 a.m. - 2 p.m. free admission. 221-6042 Pot O'Gold Stew Challenge Top o' the bottle to ye. Go to the Richards St. Y for authentic Irish music, food and whiskey at this fundraiser for Build PAC Hawai'i. YWCA, 1040 Richards St.: Wed 3/15, 5:30 - 8 p.m. $30; $125 for 5. 538-7061 i St. Patrick's Day Block Party Nu'uanu Nights, but all decked out in green ( or Protestant orange). Music and booze, food and fun all along Merchant and Bethel streets. Fri 3/17, 5:30-11 p.m. Free. 732-6699 YWCA Rummage, Plant & Pottery Sale Live demonstrations, plants and pots abound at this benefit for the YWCA. YWCA Camp Kokokahi 45-035 Kane'ohe Bay Drive: Sat 3/18 & Su~ 3/19, 8 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free admission. 247-2124

Volunteer Hanauma Bay Education Program Volunteers are needed at the Bay to talk to visitors about its history, water safety and etiquette. Hana11ma Bay Educational Programs, Hanauma Bay: 396-1319 Helping Hands Hawai'i The Retired and Senior Volunteer Program needs volunteers 55 years or older to serve on a ~ast range. of projects. Helping Hands Hawat 1, 680 Iwile1 Rd., Ste 430: 536-7234 Institute for Human Services Long after the holidays, your help is still needed at thi_s charity organization for the homeless. Instr· tute for Human Services, 350 Summer Street: 537-2724, ext.117 Manoa Valley Theatre With your help, the show will go on. MVT needs help with costuming, props, lights, set-building, publicity and administration, regardless of previous experience. Miinoa Valley Theatre, 2833 E. Manoa Rd: 988-6131 Mission Houses Museum Greeters Share the spirit of Aloha as a part-time greeter. Training will be provided. Mission Houses Museum, 553 S. King St.: 531-0481 USS Bowfin Submarine Museum and Park See our Museums listing for more information on the Bowfin Museum, but call to volunteer anyway, 'kay? 11 Arizona Memorial Dr.: Open daily, 8 a.m .. 5 p.m. $8 adults, $3 children 4-12, free children 3 and under. 423-1341

Neighbors i 5th Annual Kona Brewer's Festival Sam· pie the amber of Hawai'i's largest gathering


;-i.:------,,...--,._-'1"'11 ________ 91!"' ____ ~'!"""'---- ------,--.-----.--,-----------~----~-------------------.-

of independent brewers as it continues to raise funds for Tropical Reforestation and Ecosystem Education (T.R.E.E.) King Kamehameha Beach Hotel, 75-5660 Palani Rd., KailuaKona: Sat 3/18, 2:30 · 6:30 p.m. $35. (808) 936-9006 Mark Twain Tonight Hal Holbrook reprises his Tony Award-winning one-man show on America's greatest satirist. Castle Theater, Maui Arts & Cultural Center: Sat 3/25, 7:30 p.m. (808) 242-7469 Nancy Ellison The Lana'i Visiting Artist Program presents this renowned photojournalist, whose work has appeared in such publications as Life, The New York Times and the London Sunday Times. The Lodge at Ko'ele, Island of Lana'i: Sat 3/25 1 (800) 321-4666 Your Midway There Now island-hopping is not just for the Japanese army - or the American military, for that matter. Aloha Air-

Call for entries

HAWAIIAN O AIRLINES

Rules

lines announces new weekly service to Midway Island. Every Sat, 5:45 p.m. 485-2220

Gay Coming Out Fund-Raiser Book Sale Funds from the sale of used books, magazines, CDs and videos will go to the Honolulu Gay & Lesbian Cultural Festival. www.hglcf.org Hula's Bar and Lei Stand, Waikiki Grand Hotel, 2nd floor, 134 Kapahulu Ave.: Sat 3/18, 11 a.m. · 5 p.m. Free. 923-0669

Grassroots Abuse Shelters Need Your Donations Donations of clothing, household and personal care items are being collected for Shel-

ters for Abused Spouses and Children. People in need of help can call the shelter directly at 841-0822 or 488-8110. Fashion Consignment Center, (behind Cutter Ford 'Aiea) 98-025 Hekaha St, Bldg. 4, Suite. Pearl City Task Force Meeting Councilmember Mufi Hanneman and representatives from Home Depot will discuss the status of a new store at Pearl City Junction. Pearl City Highlands Elementary School Library, 1419 Waimano Home Road: Thu 3/16, 5 p.m. Free. 547-7008

Submissions "The Scene" provides groups and indi

viduals with free listings of community events, actw1t1es and entertainment. Calendar submissions must include the following:

Dote and time;

locolion !include a street address! :

Cost or admission price !please note if event is freeJ ,

Contact phone number,

Description of the event. If submitting on entry to the music section, include the general type of music !rock, Hawaiian etc.J

Deadline for "The Scene" submissions is two weeks before the listing should appear. Listings appear the last Wednesday before the event. An expanded version of this calendar is posted each week on our Web site, at www.honoluluweekly.com.

Send all submissions c/o Honolulu Weekly Calendar Editor, 1200 College Walk, #214. Honolulu, HI 96817, or fax to: 528-3144. Submissions are not accepted over the phone. Please note: We welcome photographs with submissions, but cannot guarantee returns - please do not send original art. •

Pliotograp y Contes

Grand Prize-Win a roundtrip for two to Tahiti. Courtesy of Hawaiian Airlines with lodging courtesy of Outrigger Hotels.

, Attach this entry form with each submission. Individuals may submit up to three different photos. , Contest entries must include some glimpse of the ocean-whether surf, spray or foam, at the surface or underwater. Subject portrayed may be above, at or below sea level. , Imagery may be abstract or figurative. Photos need not include a human figure. However, no combining of photos, computer graphics or overpainting should be included: the photo should be the result of a good shot rather than manipulation. , Submit prints that need not be returned, no smaller than 4 inches by 6 inches and no larger than 8 inches by 1 O inches. DO NOT submit photos for which you do not have either a negative or digital archive: winning entries will be reprinted and mounted for display. All photographs become the property of Honolulu Weekly, Inc., upon entry. Deadline for entries is April 15, 2000.

Entry Form

Name:

Address:

Daytime Phone:

Mail Entries to: 98%H70 c/o Honolulu Weekly• 1200 College Walk Suite 214 • Honolulu HI 96817

Kua &allery FEBRUARY 28-/v\ARCH 24

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Cl1ilcl1·e1, cf ttrc D1·8?01, art and artifacts from Vietnam

lnclucline: 10 conte1nporarv artists from Vietnam KOA GALLERY HOURS

MONDAY-FRIDAY 10100AM-4,00PM

SATURDAY 10:00AM-2:00PM

For more 1nfonnat1on call the Koa Gallery 734-9375

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Street,

Honolulu HI

96814

Jazz Jazz Jazz Celebrate St Patrick's Day

With Us! Happy Hour Prices All Day & Night!

Live Music with the Noel Okimoto Quartet! Steve Jones on Bass • Rob Prester on Piano • Tim Tsukiama on Sax

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'Prices subject to coonge without nooce Resbrn:>ns fOO'f aiµy. cash or check payment ooly. Prices fOO'f 1:e subject to tax.

THURSDAY, MARCH 23, 2000 · 8PM Neal Blaisdell Concert Hall

Tickets available at: Blaisdell Center Box Office or Charge-By-Phone, call Ticket Plus at 526-4400

ALSO, SATURDAY, MARCH 25, 2000 • 8PM Maui Arts & Cultural Center

info: 242-SHOW

Hawaii Sa(es Representatives Association

SaMPL.C SALC Spring Bargains • lower Than Who(esa(e Men's, Wol\,en's, Chi(dren's, Resortwear,

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Saturday, Mcirch 18th, 2000 9:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m.

Blaisdell Center - Hawaii Suites 1-12

It's +he Sa(e You've Been Waiting For! March 15 - 21, 2000 • Honolulu Weekly• 21

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,.

Film

Mission to Mars covers all~too familiar territory.

Mars Bar BOB GREEN

ith several new movies out in coming months purporting to take us to Mars (and to reveal "secrets"), Brian DePalma' s Mission to Mars plants its flag first

- with mixed results. This is, in fact, one of the most uneven movies in years. The content (acting, story, effects) is all over the place, ranging from superb to pedestrian, awesome to ... well, not so awesome.

what this movie can do, from time to time.

PHOTO: COURTESY

into trouble: What it has to reveal is • one of the oldest staples in sci-fi, even movie sci-fi. The sense of wonder (some of) the effects create is not enhanced by what the scriptwriters manage to come up with. And when we get to see the alien-being ... well, it looks like an unholy synthesis of

Haunted by the ghosts of Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey (some epic effects and "profound" implications) and Hitchcock (suspense movie structure), Mission to Mars is determined not to incorporate the same flaws as most Bmovies with A-budgets: lack of human empathy, boring patches of pseudo-scientism, haunted house and chase-plot shenanigans. We meet the astronauts in detail, as family-people (Tim Robbins, Gary Sinise, Don Cheadle, Connie Nielsen - with Sliders' Jerry O'Connell as comic relief), get to know their heartaches and triumphs, their camaraderie and con

L----..... ;;;.;.=iiiiiiii,,,==...iiii .......... iiiiiiii,,,iioiiiii ................. --------- flicts. We are spared the buildup to

Sinise, Cheadle and Robbins are among our best film actors, and they acquit themselves honorably; it'sfun, at first, to try to guess which one will be killed off - and how. They ground the film (in the positive sense) in basic human predicaments: One has been widowed, one leaves a son at home, one is a stable married guy. And they band and bond in order to save one of their fellows stranded on Mars.

a Pokemon character and a Thomas Keane painting. (The Honolulu matinee audience I saw the movie with snorted its disgust.)

However, Mission to Mars is the best sci-fier since Contact, and it will kill a rainy afternoon or a low-budget night competently- and with here and there some genuinely rousing effects. It will also tell you what planet you're really from. •

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CHECK YOUR LOCAL THEATRE LISTINGS OR CALL FOR SHOWTIMES *Presented in ~~


the space launch(es), and get right to it. The planet Mars (played here by Jordan, a spray-painted Canada, and the inside of a computer) looks OK - with a killer-effects giant storm early on that shows us just

As it turns out, they are not Alone. Mars has a secret to tell, but the code (hint: think DNA) has to be broken, and the Heavenly Gates, so to speak, will be opened. Here the movie gets

The Cup i~ a lame meditation on monks and ... soccer?

Sweet Not ROBB BONNELL

National Geographic found a stone-age tribe. Let's feed them their first hot dogs on film.

-Jello Biafra [Dead Kennedys], Hop with the Jet Set

Foreign is chic. Tibet is chic. Now kabala is out and Buddhism is chic. Put them all together and you've got a film as trendy as yesterday's cigar.

Going in, I got the distinct feeling that I was supposed to like The Cup.

Two young monks from a Tibetan monastery (in exile in India) want to watch the World Cup on TV. They do, and how they act in doing so is cute; the end.

This latest film from New Line Cinema was so cute that it seemed supremely unreal. It felt like another exploitation by Westerners, where "the natives" become dolls in

somebody's diorama of the exotic. But oddly enough, The Cup is an insider's view of monastic life, written and directed by a Buddhist monk.

Khyentse Norbu was recognized at age 7 as the incarnation of Jamyang Khyentse Wangpo, a Buddhist reformer and saint in 19th-century Tibet. In addition to his more traditional roles, the 37-year-old lama also serves his religion as a filmmaker, believing in the power of film to change people's hearts and minds.

My heart and mind wanted to leave the theater. Maybe I'm just too hopelessly Western to appreciate this movie. I kept waiting for the story's conflict, for something to keep the boys from getting their way, if only for a little while. But nothing stops them throughout the whole movie. The boys never really get punished for any misbehavior and, in the end, the poor monks have enough money for a TV. So

•

what's the point? The events are made uninteresting by their implausibility. And yet The Cup is "95-percent based on a true story," according to Norbu.

Truth may be stranger than fiction, but is it also more saccharine? The Cup lacked only the A-forfailed-effort ending to complete the Cool Runnings feel of plucky (and utterly charming) nonwhites doing something they usually don't.

Perhaps a people in exile need something this darn happy, the same way desert cultures fixate especially on water. But I do not. I found it treacly and therefore tiresome, even at 95 minutes. An Oscar-nominated feature debut cast entirely with monks, The Cup is interesting as a phenomenon, but grating as the kind of feel-good movie that people love. Whether you should see The Cup can be determined by one question: Do you consider time wasted chic? •

Unattributed film synopses indicate movies not yet reviewed by HW staff

i American Beauty The film almost miraculously distances itself at the exact spot where we can both laugh at and be moved by the spectacle of people trying to find themselves. (Reviewed 9/29/99) -Bob Green The Beach This one fails to reach the level of complexity of Alex Garland's award-winning novel, despite director Danny Boyle's (Trainspotting) best efforts. Instead, The Beach is one big missed opportunity, two parts Blue Lagoon and one part Apocalypse Now - a movie that caters mostly to those Leo DiCaprio fans who just want to see him

Legend: • Showing • Closing 0 Opening

Town Restaurant Row 9 Theatres: Restaurant Row. 526-4171

• Drowning Mona (2, 4:45, 7, 9:15 p.m., Sat & Sun also I l :45 am., Thu-Sat also II:30 p.m.);My Dog Skip (2, 4:15, 6:45, 9 p.m., Sat & Sun also I 1:30 a.m., Thu-Sat also II:45 p.m.); Pilch Black (2:15, 4:45, 7:30, 9:45 p.m., Sat& Sun also II:45 a.m., Thu-Sat also 12:15 a.m.); 711e Whole Nine Yards (2:30, 5, 7: 15, 9:45 p.m., Sat & Sun also noon, Thu-Sat also midnight); Wonder Boys (1:45, 4:30, 7:15, !Op.m.,Sat&Sunalso ll:15am., Thu-Sat also 12:30 am.)

• Thu 3116:Hanging Up (2:45, 5:15, 7, 9:30 p.m.); Reindeer Games (2:15, 4:30, 7, 9:30p.m.)

0 Thu 3116: Erin Brockovich (t: midnight, 12:15 am., Fri-Tue 1:30, 1:45, 4:15, 4:30, 6:45, 7, 9:30, 9:45 p.m., Fri-Sat also 12:30, 12:50 a.m.);Final Destination (t: midnight, Fri-Tue 2:45, 5: 15, 7:45, 9:45, Fri-Sun also noon, Fri-Sat also midnight)

Signature Dole Cannery: 735-B lwilei Road 526-3456 • American Beauty (12:05, 2:40, 5:15, 7:50,

10:25 p.m.); Boiler Room (10:45 a.m., 4:15, 9:40 p.m.); Jbe Cider House Rules (10:40 am., 1:30, 4:25, 7:20, IO: IO p.m.); Jbe Cup (10:35 am., 12:45, 3, 5:20, 7:35, 9:50 p.m.); Drowning Mona (10:50 am., 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8:05, 10:20 p.m., Wed & Thu also 12:20, 2:45, 5:05, 7:30, 9:45);Mission to Mars (I l, I 1:45 am., 1:45, 2:25, 4:30, 5:10, 7:15, 7:45, 9:55, 10:35 p.m.);My Dog Skip (12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7:15, 9:40 p.m.); Jbe Next Best Jbing (noon, 2:35, 4:55, 7:25, 10:05 p.m., Wed& Thu also II:15 am., 1:45, 4:20, 7:05, 9:30 p.m.); Jbe Ninth Gate (10:35 am., I, 1:40, 4, 4:40, 7, 7:40, 10 p.m., Wed & Thu also 10:40 p.m., Fri-Tue also 10:25 p.m.);Pi/ch Black (2:50, 5:20, 7:55, 10:30 p.m., Fri-Tue also 11:45 am.); Reindeer Games (11:15 am., 2, 4:45, 7:35, 10:15 p.m.);Scream3 (Wed&Thu 9:45 p.m., Fri-Sun 8, 10:35 p.m., Mon & Tue 9:45 p.m.); Jbe Sixth Sense (1:55, 7: IO p.m.); Snow Day (Wed & Thu 11:45 a.m., 1:45, 3:45, 5:45, 7:45 p.m., Fri-Tue 12:05, 2:05, 4:05, 6:05 p.m.); What Planet Are You From? (Wed & Thu 11:45 am., 12:30, 3, 5:30, 8, 10:25 p.m., FriTue only I0:15);7be WboleNine Yards (10:45 am., 12:55, 3:05, 5:50, 8:10, I0:40p.m.)

0 Fri 3117:Erin BrockovidJ (10:45 a.m., 12:45, 1:30, 3:45, 5:25, 7, 7:30, 10, 10:30 p.m.); Final Destination (10:30 am., 12:45, 3,

· 5:25, 7:50, 10:10 p.m.)

Varsity Twins: 1106 University Ave. 296-1818, code 1609-16 • 7be Cup (12:30, 2:30, 4:30, 6:45, 9 p.m.);

Mansfield Park (noon, 2:15, 4:45, 7, 9:15p.m.)

Waikiki IMAX Theatre Waikiki: 325 Seaside Ave. $9.75; $8 (children 2-11); $8.75 (seniors & military w/ ID); multifilm discounts available. 923-4629 + Fantasia 2000 (I 1:30 am., 1:30, 3:30, 5:30,

7:30, 9:30 p.m.)

take off his shirt. (Reviewed 2/16) -Liana Holmberg Beyond the Mat A wrestling film? Paltrow after Damon? Check with us next week, kids. Boiler Room A Wall Street for the new millennium, they say. i Boys Don't Cry Even with a superior ensemble cast and an excellent screenplay, this true tale of Teena Brandon - a teenager who "became" a boy when she moved to a small Nebraska town in 1992 - probably couldn't work without Oscar-nominee Hilary Swank in the lead role. But work it does, and superbly. To its everlasting credit, the movie starts right up - and never offers psychologizing nor apologia. It "simply" tells its story

with what seems straightforwardness, disguising its artfulness, never taking the high ground of social importance. It's a triumph, one of the best movies in several years. (Reviewed 2/23)-B.G. The Cider House Rules The movie version of John Irving's much-praised novel returns to Honolulu, trailing a handful of Oscar noms. The Cup See review on Page 22. Drowning Mona An all-star cast does a lowbudgeter about a collective murder. Erin Brockovich Julia Roberts and director Steven Soderbergh (011t Of Sight) team up for this drama about a strong-willed young woman.

Everest Creaking ice falls, quaking chasms, dangerous, towering cliffs and a harrowing rescue of mountaineers (or at least, some of them)- all in oxygen-thin air, Narration by Liam Neeson, music by George Harrison. Big format by IMAX. Fantasia 2000 Disney's mixed-style IMAX movie, a sequel of sorts to the original - seven new segments (with orchestral music) plus the Mickey Mouse "Sorcerer's Apprentice" short from the 1940 film. Final Destination We haven't seen it, but here's our take: bang-bang, shoot-shoot,chase scene, more bang-bang, a little whoopie, another chase, more dead people; you fill in the rest.

Hanging Up Daine Keaton directed this sisters-in-crisis comedy-drama, starring Meg Ryan, Lisa Kudrow and Keaton, with Walter Matthau as ailing Poppa. The Living Sea An IMAX round-theworlder, documenting ... you guessed it. Mansfield Park The Jane Austen novel gets a "modern" treatment, with sex scenes and everything. Mission to Mars See review on Page 22. My Dog Skip Willie Morris' memoir becomes a sentimental film comedy. The Next Best Thing Madonna's latest attempt at movie stardom, where she largely

See Film on Page 24

MOVIECLOCK Film locations and times are subject to change. Please call venues for latest information.

Waikiki Theatres: Kalakaua at Seaside Ave. 296-1818, code 1609-12 + Mission to Mars (noon, 2:30. 5, 7:30,

IOp.m.); 711e Whole Nine Yards (12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15 p.m.)

• Thu 3116: Jbe Next Best Jbing (12:45, 3, 5:30, 8, 10:30 p.m.)

0 Fri 3117:Final Destination (12:45, 2:45, 5:45, 6:45, 8:45, 10:45 p.m.)

Windward 'Alkahl Twins: 'Aikahi Park Center. 296-1818, code 1609-19 + Jbe Cider House Rules (5:45, 8:30 p.m., Sat

& Sun also 12: 15, 3 p.m.)

• Thu 3116:American Beauty (5:45, 8:20p.m.)

0 Fri 3/17: Jbe Next Best Jbing (5:45, 8:15 p.m., Sat& Sun also 12:45, 3:15 p.m.)

Enchanted Lake Cinemas: 1060 Keolu Dr. 263-4171 + Mission to Mars ( 4:30, 7, 9:30 p.m., Sat &

Sun also 2 p.m.)

• Thu 3116: JbeNext Best Jbing (4, 6:45, 9:15 p.m.); What Planet Are You From? ( 4:45, 7: 15, 9:45 p.m.)

0 Fri 3117: Drowning Mona ( 4, 6:45, 9:15 p.m., Sat& Sun also 1:30 p.m.);Final Destination (4:45, 7:15, 9:45 p.m., Sat& Sun also 2:15 p.m.)

Kallua Cinemas: 345 Hahani St. 261-9103 + American Beauty (4:30, 7 p.m.); Wonder

Boys (4:15, 6:45 p.m.)

Keolu Center Cinema: 1090 Keolu Dr. 263-5657 + Drowning Mona (4:30, 7:30, 9:55 p.m.);My

Dog Skip (4:15, 7:15, 9:30 p.m.); Jbe Ninth Gate (3:45. 6:45, 9:45 p.m.); Jbe Whole Nine Yards (4, 7, 9:15 p.m.)

Ko'olau Stadium: Temple Valley Shopping Center 296-1818, code 1609-14 + Drowning Mona (12:10, 2:25, 4:40, 6:55,

9:15 p.m.);Hanging Up (11:30 a.m., 1:35, 3:40, 5:45, 7:55, 10:05 p.m.);Mission to Mars (I 1:35 am., 2:05, 4:35, 7:10, 9:35 p.m.); My Dog Skip (11:45 am., 2:05, 4:25, 6:45, 9 p.m.); JbeNinth Gate (11:15 am., 1:55, 4:35, 7:15, 9:55 p.m.);Pitch Black (noon, 2:25, 4:50, 7: 15, 9:45 p.m.); Snow Day (II:30 am., 1:35, 3:35, 5:40, 7:50, 9:50 p.m.); Jbe Whole Nine Yards (12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7: 15, 9:40 p.m.)

• Thu 3116: Jbe Ne,:t Best 71Jing (II:35 am., 2:05, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35 p.m.); What Planet Are You From? (12:20, 2:45, 5:10, 7:35, IO p.m.)

O Fri 3117: Erin Brockovich (I 1:30 am., 2:05, 4:40, 7:20, IO p.m.);Final Destination (II:35 a.m., 1:35, 3:35, 5:15, 7:35, 9:40 p.m.)

East Kahala 8-Plex: Kahala Mall. 296-1818, code 1609, 18 + Boys Don't Cry (noon, 2:25, 4:50, 7: 15,

9:40 p.m., Fri & Sat also 11:55 p.m.);My Dog Skip (I 1:30 am., 1:40, 3:45, 5:50, 8, 10:05 p.m., Fri-Tue 12:30, 2:40, 4:45, 7, 9:10 p.m.); Jbe Ninth Gate (11:15 am., 2, 4:45, 10:15 p.m., Fri-Tue 11:45 am., 2:25, 5:05, 7:50, 10:35 p.m.); Wonder Boys (11:30 a.m.,

1:55, 4:25, 6:55, 9:25 p.m., Fri-Sat also 11:45 p.m.)

• Thu 3116: Boiler Room (9:15 p.m.); Hanging Up (12:30, 2:40, 5:05, 7:25, 9:50 p.m.); Reindeer Games (noon, 2: 15, 4:30, 6:45, 9 p.m.); Snow Day (12:15, 2:20, 4:45, 7 p.m.); What Plane/Are You From? (12:15, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:35 p.m.)

0 Fri 3/17: Beyond /be Mat (12:30, 2:40, 4:50, 7:05, 9:15 p.m., Fri & Sat also 11:25 p.m.); Erin Brockovich (I 1:15, 12:15, 2, 3, 4:45, 5:45, 7:30, 8:30, IO: 15 p.m., Fri & Sat also 11:15 p.m.); Rear Window (I 1:30 am., 1:55, 4:20, 6:45, 9:15 p.m., Fri-Sat also 11:35 p.m.)

Koko Marina Stadium: Koko Marina Shopping Center. 296-1818, code 1609-17 • American Beauty (1:15, 3:55, 7, 9:40 p.m.,

Fri-Tue 3:20, 8:20 p.m.); Jbe Cider House Rules (12:50, 3:45, 6:40, 9:25 p.m., Fri-Tue 12:50, 5:50 p.m.); Drowning Mona (12:45, 2:55, 5:15, 7:35, 9:45 p.m.); MiMion to Mars (noon, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10 p.m.);t{y Dog Skip (noon, 2:10, 4:30, 6:55, 9:15 p.m.); Jbe Ninth Gate (I, 3:55, 6:50, 9:45 p.m.); Jbe Whole Nine Yards (12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:10, 9:20p.m.)

• Thu 3/16: PildJ Black (12:30, 2:45, 5, 7:15, 9:35 p.m.)

0 Fri 3117: Erin Brockovich (I: IO, 3:55,7:05, 9:55 p.m.);Final Destination (12:30, 2:45, 5, 7:20, 9:35 p.m.)

Central Mllllanl 14: Mililani Town Center. 296-1818, code 1609-23

• American Beauty (12:30, 3, 5:30, 8, 10:30 p.m.); Drowning Mona (12: 15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15 p.m.);Mission to Mars (11:45 am., 1, 2:30, 3:45, 5:15, 6:30, 8, 9:15, 10:45 p.m.);My Dog Skip (11:30 am., 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15 p.m.); 7be Next Best Jbing (11:30 am., 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30 p.m.); Jbe Ninth Gate (1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 10:15 p.m.);Pilch Black (12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 10:45 p.m.); Jbe rigger Movie (I 1:45 am., 1:45, 3:45 p.m., Wed & Thu also 6 p.m.); 111e Whole Nine Yards (noon, 2:30, 5, 6:30, 7:30, 9, IO p.m., Wed & Thu also 1:30, 4 p.m.)

• Thu 3116: Reindeer Games (11:30 am., 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30 p.m.);Snow Day (noon, 2:45, 5:30, 8:15, 10:30 p.m.); What Planet Are You From? (11:45 am., 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 8:45, 9:45 p.m.)

0 Fri 3117: Erin Brockovich (noon, 1:30, 3, 4:30, 6, 7:30, 9, 10:30 p.m.); Final Destination (II:45 a.m., 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45 p.m.);Sweet and /.JJwrkJwn (noon, 2:15, 4:45, 7, 9:30 p.m.)

Pearlrldge 4-Plex: Pearlridge Center. 296-1818, code 1609-21 + Mission to Mars (4:05, 6:25, 8:45 p.m., Sat &

Sun also 1:45 p.m.); Jbe Ninth Gate (3:25, 6:05, 8:45 p.m., Sat & Sun also 12:45)

e Thu 3116:Pitch Black (3:15, 5:35, 7:55, IO: 15 p.m.); Jbe Whole Nine Yards (3:25, 5:40, 7:55, IO: 10 p.m.)

0 Fri 3117: Final Destination (2:45, 4:45, 6:45, 8:55 p.m., Sat&Sun also 12:45 p.m.); Jbe Green Mile (3:45, 7:30 p.m., Sat & Sun also noon)

Pearlrldge West: Pearlridge Center. 296-1818, code 1609-22 • Drowning Mona (12:45, 2:40, 4:40, 6:35,

8:35, 10:35 p.m., Fri-Sun 11 a.m., 1:05, 3: IO, 5:15, 7:20, 9:25 p.m., Fri-Sat also II:30 p.m.); Mission lo Mars (noon, 1:20, 2:20, 3:40, 4:40, 6, 7, 8:20, 9:20, 10:40 p.m., Fri-Sun 11 am., noon, 1:20, 2:20, 3:40, 4:40, 6, 7, 8:20, 9:20, 10:40 p.m.);My Dog Skip (noon, 1:55, 3:50, 5:45, 7:45, 9:45 p.m., Fri-Sun 11 am., 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:20, 9:25 p.m., Sat also 11:30 p.m.); '!be Next Best 711ing (noon, 2:05, 4: 15, 6:20, 8:30, 10:40 p.m., Fri-Sun II am., 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10:15 p.m.);Next Friday (12:15, 2:05, 4, 5:50, 7:50, 9:50 p.m., Fri-Tue only7:45, 9:55 p.m.); 7be Ninth Gate (noon, 2:40, 5:20, 8, 10:20 p.m.); Pitch Black (12:40, 2:45, 4:55, 7:05, 9:15 p.m., Fri-Sun 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7, 9:15 p.m., Sat also 11:30 p.m.);Scream 3 (I, 3:15, 5:30, 7:50, 10:10 p.m.);Snow Day (noon, 1:45, 3:30, 5:15, 7:05, 8:55, 10:45 p.m., Fri-Sun 11 a.m., 12:55, 2:50, 4:45, 6:40, 8:35, 10:30 p.m.); Jbe 7igge,· Movie (12:45, 2:30, 4: 15, 6 p.m., FriSun II am., 12:45, 2:30, 4:15, 6 p.m.); 711e Whole Nine Yards (Wed & Thu noon, 12:35, 2, 2:35. 4, 4:35, 6, 6:35, 8:05, 8:40, 10:10, 10:45 p.m., Fri-Sun II am., noon, 1:05, 2:05, 3:10, 4:15, 5:15, 6:20, 7:20, 8:30, 9:25, 10:40 p.m., Sat also 11:30 p.m., Mon & Tue noon, 12:35, 2, 2:35, 4:05, 4:35, 6, 6:35, 8:05, 8:40, IO: IO, 10:45 p.m.)

• Thu 3116: Reindeer Games (12:30, 2:30, 4:30, 6:30, 8:35, 10:40 p.m.); Wbat Planet Are You From? (12:45, 2:50, 4:55, 7, 7:45, 9:10, 10 p.m.)

0 Fri 3117: Erin Brockovicb (11 am., noon, 1:40, 2:40, 4:20, 5:20, 7, 8, 9:40, 10:40 p.m., Fri-Sun also 11 am.);Final Destination (II am., 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:20, 9:25 p.m., FriSat also Il:30 p.m., Mon &Tue noon, 2, 4:05, 6, 8, IO p.m.)

Signature Pearl Highlands: 1000 Kamemehameha Hwy. 455-6999 + American Beauty (I 1:35 am., 2:05, 4:35,

7:05, 9:40 p.m.);Drowning Mona (12:10, 2:40, 5:20, 7:55, 10:15 p.m.);Mission lo Mars (11:30 am., 12:15, 2, 2:45, 4:30, 5:15, 7:10, 7:45, 9:50, 10:20 p.m.);My Dog Skip (12:20, 2:35, 4:40, 7, 9:15 p.m.); Jbe Next Best Jbing (Il:55 a.m., 2:20, 4:45, 7:20, 9:45 p.m.); 7be Ninth Gate (I, 4:15, 7:15, 10:15 p.m.);Pitch Black (noon, 2:25, 5:05, 8 p.m., Wed& Thu also 10:30p.m., Fri-Tue also 10:05 p.m.); Jbe Whole Nine Yards (12:05, 2:30, 5, 7:25, 9:55 p.m.)

• Thu 3116: Jbe Cider House Rules (I I :40 am., 2: 10, 4:55, 7:25, 10:05 p.m.); Hanging Up (7:50, !Op.m.);Reindeer Games (11:50 am., 2:15, 5:10, 7:40, 10:10 p.m.); Jbe 'ligger Movie (I 1:45 am., 1:55, 4, 6 p.m.)

0 Fri 3117:Erin Brockovich (11:45 am., 1:30, 2:40, 4:30, 7, 7:30, IO, 10:30 p.m.);Final Destination (II:50 a.m., 2:15, 5:10, 7:50, 10:!0p.m.)

North Shore IMAX Polynesian Cultural Center: 55-370 Kamehameha Hwy; (Closed on Sundays.) 293-3280

+ Everest (l, 3 Oapanese-language version]. 5 p.m.); Jbe Living Sea (6 p.m.); Polynesian Odyssey (2, 4 p.m.)

La'le Cinemas: 55-510 Kamehameha Hwy; (Closed on Sundays.) 293-7516 + Mission lo Mars (7, 9:30 p.m., Sat also 2,

4:30p.m.)

e Thu 3116: My Dog Skip (Wed & Thu 7: 15, 9:15 p.m.)

0 Fri 3/17: Hanging Up (7:15, 9:45 p.m., Sat also 2:15, 4:45 p.m.)

Leeward Kapolel Megaplex: 890 Kamakamokila Blvd. 296-1818, code 1609-24 + American Beauty (6:45, 9:30 p.m.); The

Cider House Rules (1:15, 4, 6:45, 9:30 p.m.); Drouming Mona (1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30 p.m., Fri-Tue only 8, 10 p.m.);Mi&l'I01l lO Mars (noon, I, 2:30, 3:30, 5, 6:15, 7:30, 9, IO p.m.); My Dog Skip (noon, 2, 4. 6, 8, 10 p.m.); Jbe Next Best Jbing (Wed & Thu noon, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10 p.m., Fri-Tue 12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15 p.m.); Jbe Ninth Gate (I, 4, 7, 10 p.m.); Pitch Black (Wed & Thu 12:15, l:45, 2:30, 4:30, 5, 6:45, 7:15, 9. 9:45 p.m., Fri-Tue 12: 15, 2:30, 5, 5:45, 7:15, 8, 9:45, 10:15 p.m.);Reindeer Games (12:30, 5:30, IO p.m., Wed & Thu also 3, 7:45 p.m.); Scream 3 (Wed & Thu 12:30, 2:55, 5:20, 7:45, IO: IO p.m., Fri-Tue 3, 7:45 p.m.); Snow Day (noon, 2, 4, 6 p.m., Wed & Thu also 8, IO p.m.); Stuart Little (12:30, 2:30, 4:30 p.m.); Jbe 'ligger Movie (noon, 2, 4 p.m., Wed & Thu also 6 p.m.); Jbe Whole Nine Yards (12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15 p.m.)

• Thu 3116: 71ie Beach (7:45, 10:15 p.m.); Wbat Planet Are You From? (noon, 2:15, 4:30, 7, 9:15 p.m.)

0 Fri 3117:Erin Brockovich (noon, I, 2:35. 3:45, 5:10, 7, 7:45, 9:45, 10:20 p.m.);Final Destination (noon, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 p.m.); Jbe Green Mile (I, 4:30, 8 p.m.)

Short Runs, Art & Revival Houses Academy Theatre: Honolulu Academy of Arts, 900 S. Beretania St. $5 general, $3 members. 532-8768 + Fri 3110: Night of Counting the Years

((Egypt 1969) Sun 3119 4 p.m.); Onegin ((1999) Wed-Fri 3115-177:30 p.m.)

0 Tue 3/21: Tumbleweeds ((1999) Tue-Thu 3/21-23 7:30p.m.)

The Art House at Restaurant Row: Restaurant Row 526-4171 + War lmle (2:30, 5, 7:30, 10 p.m.)

• Thu 3116: Boys Don't Cry (3, 5:30, 8:15p.m.)

Movie Museum: 3566 Harding Ave. $5 general, $4 members. 735-8n1 + Fri 3110: Dancing At Luglmasa ((Irish.

1998) Fri 3117 8 p.m., Sat 3118 3, 5:30, 8 p.m.); Jbe Snapper ((UK, 1993) Sun 3119 3, 5:30, 8p.m.)

0 Thu 3116: JbousandPieces of Gold ((1991) Thu 3116 8 p.m., Mon 3120 6, 8 p.m.)


-

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The War Zone a film by Tim Roth1

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ExCLUSll/l'E HAllllrAII ENGAGE.MENT

Srmn-s FR10Ar.,, Im KA°HALA a I MARCH f 7 ;::I ===N=o=P=As=s=Es====!

Qwaystojoin the team

From Page 23

remains an immaterial girl. This is all the equivalent of junk food: A dangerous diet for those who don't realize it's a form of starvation. (Reviewed 3/8)-B.G. Next Friday Written and produced by Ice Cube, this one should provide a field day for sociologists, psychologists, naysayers and apocalyptics. So bad it isn't boring, this comedy, about young blacks mixing it up with young Latinos in a Los Angeles suburb, leaves no stone unturned in its depiction of racial (racist?) stereotypes - apparently as much out of naivete as deliberate ill will. (Reviewed 1/19)-B.G. The Ninth Gate Roman Polanski directs again - and Johnny Depp in the tale of a rare book hunter in search of Satanic texts. Pitch Black Low-budget Alien rip-off. Polynesian Odyssey Bip trip, big trippy format: an IMAX-ed look at ... you got it. Reindeer Games Veteran director John Frankenheirner (The Manchurian Candidate) offers up this actioner with Ben Affleck, Charlize Theron - and, as a heavy, Gary Sinise. Scream 3 What kind of horror film is it when the most horrifying thing in it is the appearance of Carrie Fisher, who should have known better? This one is only scary in the moral and spiritual sense. When it uses cliches, it tries to make them funny - except when they're useful in keeping the plot, a horror movie (Stab 3) with a movie, on "track." Shoddy, badly photographed and unimaginative, it's a lousy page in everyone's resume. (Reviewed 2/9)-B.G. i The Sixth Sense It's the best scary movie of the season, this Bruce Willis-starrer about a troubled boy and a psychologist with a secret. The risky screenplay/direction is by M. Night Shyamalan, the wonderfully low-key cinematography by Tak Fujimoto. Haley Joel Osment is superb as the boy. -B.G. Snow Day Innocuous kiddie flick featuring yet another "comeback" for Chevy Chase. i Stuart uttle E.B. White's fabled fable may not immediately draw parents' attention. Yet

those who look this flick up will be rewarded, for White's ultimate message - that we need to accept people whether they look like us or not - will be heard and understood by all. (Reviewed 12/22/99) -Chad Blair i Sweet and Lowdown It's Woody Allen and Sean Penn. See it. Just see it. The Tigger Movie Oh, Pooh! i What Planet Are You From? The battle of the sexes escalates to interplanetary proportions, with Garry Shandling playing Harold, .a spy from an alien race bent on conquering Earth. Despite its limited scope and predictable ending, there are more than a few good laughs here ... but that's about it. Like dating, don't go in with any unreasonable expectations and you'll have a good time. (Reviewed 3/8) -Robb Bonnell The Whole Nine Yards Television comic Matthew Perry must have been collecting tried-and-true pieces of low comedy since he was an infant, and he finds it necessary to trot them out - every one of them - in this busy little B-movie gangster comedy. Shot on the cheap in Canada, it's basically second-rate hokum ... except for Perry, who delivers -and who, with his performance here, will force The Industry to take him seriously as a farceur. But he's not enough to make this worth seeing in the theater - save it for a rainy, home video day. (Reviewed 3/1)-B.G. i Wonder Boys Garnering little attention on its opening weekend, Wonder Boys is already as forgotten as an old bachelor in a rest home. That's too bad, since this film is as cool as that smart, contemplative and eccentric old(er) man might be. R-rating aside, this film is definitely not for kids: Its humor best understood and appreciated by those who have lost something, anything, once dear to them and who now have the hindsight to realize it. (Reviewed 3/1)-R.B.

Short Runs, Art & Revival Houses

1) Display Sales Account Executive

Gollerie.s.

( a f.i. Your proven experience in sales development and leadership by example can make you a candidate for our Display Sales Account Executive position. The ideal candidate will have media sales experience, bring creative ideas, an organized approach and excellent communication skills. Please send cover letter, resume and compensation requirements to: Lora Williams, Honolulu Weekry, 1200 College Walk, Suite 214, Honolulu, HI 96817. No phone calls please.

2) Classified Sales Manager Lead, inspire and develop our growing classified team. Must have 2 years experience selling print media, preferably in classified or classified display and a proven track record of success. Mgmt/ Supervisory experience preferred. Salary + commission + bonus and benefits. Fax resume, cover and comp requirements, Attn Sales Manager to: (808) 528-3144 or mail to: Honolulu Weekfy, 1200 College Walk, Suite 214, Honolulu, HI 96817. No phone calls please.

3) Production Assistant Starting: 30-35 hours per week, working towards fulltime/$8.50 hr. Excellent health benefits. QuarkXpress & PhotoShop experience a must. Can you handle the hot seat? Must be able to work in fast paced environment. Send resume, cover letter and samples to:

Garde.-.s.

Sh Op•

................. j, ............. .,,.,.. ....... .

Add ingredients.

Mix thoroughly •.

January 28 - March 26

Dancing At Lughnasa (Ireland, 1998) An ensemble piece adapted from the prize-winning play and directed by Pat O'Conner (A Circle of Friends). The ensemble includes Meryl Streep, Michael Gambon and Catherine McCormack. Night of Counting the Years (Egypt, 1969) Synopsists say this is the story of "a cache of royal mummies unearthed by a local graverobbing family ... [arousing] guilt about the exploitation of the heritage of their country." Beautiful, they say, and showing here in time to the Academy of Arts' Mysteries of the Nile exhibition. Onegin (1999) Director Martha Fiennes (sister of Ralph and Joseph) essays this version of the Pushkin novel, a love and retribution story starring brother Ralph and Liv Tyler (as Tatiana). Rear Window (1954) Alfred Hitchcock's classic, with Jimmy Stewart as a wheel-chairbound snoop, and Grace Kelley as a beautiful, blonde distraction. The Snapper (U.K., 1993) Stephen Frears (The Grifters) directed this comedy-drama (sort of a sequel to The Commitments}, which has since gained cult status. The ubiquitous Colm Meaney stars. Thousand Pieces of Gold (1991) Cult indie - directed by Nancy Kelly and originally made for PBS - about cross-cultural love and its opposite in the Old West. Stars include Chris Cooper (American Beauty), Rosalind Chao and Dennis Dun. Tumbleweeds Well, the critics raved about this "offbeat" tale of a mother and her daughter who flee the South for Southern Cali, in search of love and all other things. So perhaps somebody tied my underwear in a knot, but I thought it was so predictable that I walked out halfway through. Then again, maybe the second half's better - you tell me .... -Stu Dawrs i War Zone (U.K., 1999) Actor Tim Roth directed this hard-hitting drama (adult themes, family dysfunction division) that's winning critics' plaudits worldwide. •

Attn Production Manager, Honolulu Weekfy, 1200 College Walk, Suite 214, Honolulu, HI 96817. No phone calls please. Seeing is Believing: Photographs by Vik Muniz / Apple Canon: Paintings by Thomas Woodruff /

Disturbing Desire: Video Works by Ximena Cuevas. Diane Nerwen and Shelly Silver

www.tcmh1.org 2411 Makiki Heights Drive 526-0232

·=··-~----·--·· Weekly 24 • March 15 - 21, 2000 • Honolulu Weekly

PHOTO: JOHN LUTFEY

Zippy's Shintani Cuisine is to ( not) die for.

Zipping Up

DAVID MCDONALD

reakfast at Zucky's Restaurant, Santa Monica, one morning in 1970: I'm doing a face plant in a plate of corned-beef hash and eggs, toast, pancakes and a slice of pecan pie, probably a la

mode - can't remember for sure. Old Jewish guy next to me at the counter looks over and says, "What! You going to the chair?"

Being a typical North American Cro-Magnon male, I always thought that the four basic food groups were beer, grease, sugar and motor oil. My girlfriend, Miss No Make A, would say, "This is David. He eats sausages." Thanks, however, to vanity and a quick metabolism, I managed to stay in shape while eating like a garbage can. Never had a weight problem, until middle age and local grinds caught up with me.

While out of work a few years ago, I helped out at Miss No Make A's place of employment, the Hawai 'i Health Foundation, run by the eminent Dr. Terry Shintani -helped run a few diet programs, even edited one of his books. And I learned a thing or two about nutrition: Caffeine and nicotine do not make a complete protein; pork hash is not The Perfect Food (damn close, but); and skinny people can eat their way to coronary disease.

Eating is one of life's pleasures, though, especially when someone else does the cooking. And where better to grind than Hawai 'i, land of chicken katsu, fried saimin, Bea's Coconut Cream Pie and Hayden mango milkshakes? So I ignored the rules, and I got fat.

Almost overnight, it seemed, 15 pounds of insulation appeared on my once-trim bod. Had to learn some fat-boy tricks: wear loose aloha shirts to cover my Levi's fly that

wouldn't button; never stand sideways. Women sneered; little kids called me "Jell-0 wagon"; negatively stereotyping people threw rocks at me. Eventually I thought, ''Maybe I should go on a diet."

This revelation occurred about the same time a collaboration between Zippy's and Shintani began.

ucky for me, Zippy's now offers several low-fat meals that follow the doctor's recipes and blueprint for better health. Shintani Cuisine has proven very popular with the paying public, and the

doctor already has new recipes in the works. (So who wants to be a millionaire? Not Terry Shintani, apparently. All royalties from Shintani Cuisine sales go to the Hawai 'i Health Foundation and to the Wai'anae Coast Comprehensive Health Center.)

Two Bean Chili (small $2.50, large $2.90), Nishime ($5.95), Potato and Corn Chowder (regular $1.95, large $2.30), Vegetable Soup (small $1.95, large $2.30), Marinara Sauce ($4.85), Cajun Jambalaya ($4.85), Savory Stew ($5.35) and Island Curry ($5.35) are presently available. The dishes are typically eaten with brown rice. The food is available as a sit-down meal or can be purchased in bulk quantities at Zippy's To Go outlets. I've been buying the 2-pound containers -mainly my favorites, the Chili and the Nishime - and having it for lunch and supper along with a cup of rice. Here's the lowdown:

The food is tasty. Not roll-on-thefloor, moaning-irl9ecstasy tasty -you need to go to the Pacific Rim Cuisine guys for that - but it goes down easy. The Nishime, especially, is delicious; the character of each of its little goodies, the konyaku, seaweed bowties, shiitakes and the whatevahs, is distinct

and flavorful. As for the Chili, I remember back in British Columbia a few years ago, my friend Johnny English went bow hunting, bagged a moose, slaughtered it and served up "moose" chili in beer and tomato juice to a gang of hungry surveyors. Was 'ono. The Shintani chili is also solid fare, a zesty blend of cumin and chili, with textured vegetable protein replacing the moose.

The Potato and Corn Chowder, while not intriguing in the abstract, is actually a good bowl of soup, thick with veggies and just needing a little salt to liven things up. (All the Shintani food is low-salt, and that's good for those who need to limit their intake.)

The food is filling and healthy. My hunger is satisfied, yet after eating I feel light; my body feels good, calm even. Shintani has said, "Let food be your medicine." I didn't think he was talking about tranquilizers. The Apple Bran Square (80 cents, Atomic Weight= 450) is offered as a dessert, but I like 'em for breakfast. Way better than those Oat Bombs I used to buy from youknow-who, and good for one ride on da numbah-two bus to Pupiikea.

The food is cheap and convenient. Five sixty-five for a 2-pound container of chili, from which you can get three hearty meals. Three minutes in the micro and torn tora tora.

Finally, best of all, the food works. After two weeks of Zippy's Shintani food and 30 sit-ups each morning, I've lost over 10 pounds, my abs are ripped, and women are chasing after me with mattresses on their backs - not that they can catch me. Thanks, Doc.

Instead of eating yourself to an early grave, I encourage you to try this food. You will appreciate that Zippy's is making it easy to get trim and healthy. It may be a good day to die, Kemosabe, but it's also a good day to go to Zippy's. •

ignature Theatres S1i1~f-lhe-Art~il1m1

ERIN BR0CKOV1CH (R) Digital

FINAL DESTINATION (R) Digital

MISSION TO MARS {PG) Digital

THE NINTH GATE (R) Digital

THE CUP (G)Oigital

DROWNING MONA (PG13) Digital

THE NEXT BEST THING (PG13) Digital

MY DOG SKIP (PG) Digital

REINDEER GAMES (R) Digital

THE WHOLE NINE YARDS (R) Digital

CIDER HOUSE RULES (PG 13) Digital

AMERICAN BEAUTY {R) Digital

BOILER ROOM {R) Digital

PITCH BLACK (R) Digital

SNOW DAY (PG) Digital

SCREAM 3 (R) Digital

THE SIXTH SENSE (PG13) Digital

WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM? R Di ital

ERIN BROc;:KOVITCH (R) D1gitaT

FINAL DESTINATION (RJ Digital

MISSlii,lJlloT~ar,,ARS

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M~P~R,~it~1KIP THE WHOLE NINE YARDS

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AMER1mfo~ .. ~1EAUTY DROWNING .MONA

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place names. Native r Americans contend that it i> ~~t is a vulgarity, meaning _ ~ ~ \ prostituteorc***rather - ._ ., , ' than woman. Was this a _r~ general word that was used .. in many languages, or was it specif- Massachusett (no "s"), one of the ic to one or two? Are there any old Algonquian family of languages, was Native American songs or poems spoken by Native Americans in eastthat might use this word in a more em Massachusetts. As is common ordinary sense, revealing that it is with "first contact" languages, Massnot as degrading as they might con- achusett and its Algonquian cousins tend, or is it absent from N.A. litera- contributed many terms, including ture, indicating that it is indeed vul- papoose, sachem, skunk, opossu and gar? If it is found in the literature, raccoon, that thereafter became stanare other "vulgar" words used as dard English words, even in parts of well? -Paul Mattor; Hollis, Maine North America where Algonquian ~

Let's cut the pretense of scholarship, Paul. What you really want to know is, DOES SQUAW MEAN C***, OR WHAT?

Answer: No. I'm not saying it's not an insult. It's just not an obscene insult.

The idea that squaw means vagina (to use the polite term) first found its way into print in a polemical 1973 book, Literature of the American Indian, by Thomas E. Sanders and Walter W. Peek. Sanders and Peek, without offering evidence, advanced the theory that squaw derived from the Mohawk word ojiskwa' (sources vary on spelling), meaning vagina. This notion appealed to a certain mind-set and was circulated widely in the activist community. In 1992 it was revealed to the world at large on Oprah by Native American spokesperson Suzan Harjo: "The word squaw is an Algonquin [sic] Indian word meaning vagina, and that'll give you an idea of what the French and British fur trappers were calling all Indian women, and I hope no one ever uses that term again." This marked the beginning of organized efforts to remove the word squaw from place names, a campaign that continues today, so far with mixed success.

Hey, free country. Except that squaw doesn't mean vagina. "It is as certain as any historical fact can be that the word squaw that the English settlers in Massachusetts used for 'Indian woman' in the early 1600s was adopted by them from the word squa that their Massachusett-speaking neighbors used in their own language to mean 'female, younger woman,' and not from Mohawk ojiskwa', 'vagina,' which has the wrong shape [sound], the wrong meaning, and was used by people with whom they then had no contact. The resemblance that might be perceived between squaw and the last syllable of the Mohawk word is coincidental." This comes to us from Ives Goddard, a specialist in linguistics and curator at the Smithsonian Institution, writing in News From Indian Country, mid-April 1997.

languages weren't spoken. The first recorded use of squaw in English dates from 1622, and it had been adopted into the language by 1634. The Mohawks were 200 miles away, spoke a completely different language (Mohawk is part of the Iroquoian family of languages, not Algonquian, Harjo's statement notwithstanding) and were hostile to the Massachusett Indians.

Having deep-sixed ... hmm, not the best choice of terms. Having dispatched the squaw= c*** angle, let's tum to the more general issue: Is squaw considered an insult by Native American women? Lots of them sure think it is, although to what extent that's due to misinformation about the term's origin is debatable. "Documented uses of the word squaw in clearly derogatory senses are in fact hard to find," writes University of Colorado linguistics expert William Bright in a forthcoming article. One early example: "the crafty 'squaw' ... the squalid and withered person of this hag," from James Fenimore Cooper's Last of the Mahicans. (Squaw, squalid - you can see a problem right there.) On the other hand, tribes such as the Navajo use terms like squaw dance to this day.

One doesn't want to get overly PC about it, but the protesters have a point when they say special terms for minority women are inherently demeaning. Think about it. Negress. Jewess. Sixty years ago these terms were in common use. Now they make your flesh creep. Next picture some pot-bellied slob in a cowboy hat: ''Why, if it ain't a in jun and his squaw." In 1967, 143 place names containing the word nigger were changed to negro by order of the U.S. Board on Geographic Names. Squaw Valley may not be in the same league as Nigger Lake on the offensiveness scale. But it's up there with Pickaninny Creek.

-Cecil Adams

Comments, questions? Take it up with Cecil on the Straight Dope message board, www.straightdope.com, or write him at The Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago 60611.

You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your "Expanded Weekly Horoscope"· 1-900-903-2500 · Don't forget to check out Rob's website at: www.realastrology.com S1 .99 per minute. 18 and over. Touch-tone phone required C/S. (612) 373-9785 · ' · 1 -

ARIES CAPRICORN (March 21 -April 19): (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19):

I

If it were up to me, I'd title tl1is recent chapter in your life "The Secret Conquest of Loneliness," or perhaps "Attaining Intin1acy wim me Sacred Darkness" or "Awakening me Superpower of Humble Vulnerability." But if I know you Aries folks, you may not wish to trumpet mese soulful accomplishments, since mey are undervalued by most people and may be almost embarrassing to your heroic ego. Instead you might prefer to call mis part of your story "The Bold Slaying of me Dragon" or "The Glorious Triumph over Chaos and Nomingness." I'll leave it up to you.

BY ROB BREZSNY

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

This week, I predict you will have the power to make visible that which has been invisible. I further expect you will possess a mysterious talent for taking people's minds off things that have received unwarranted attention. Finally, Capricorn, I believe you will be able to deepen explorations that have been superficial, and summon the gumption to quit games mat have been diverting but unsatisfying.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20):

I once heard the Tibetan lama Sogyal Rinpoche talk about the different levels of gratification. "Would you prefer the happiness of scratching a mosquito bite," he asked, "over the happiness of not having a mosquito bite in me first place?" This subject will be an apt topic for your meditations in the coming weeks, Taurus. Anomer way to frame me question is this: Which would you enjoy more, being able to entertain your friends with uproarious tales of the ridiculous suffering you 've had to endure, or having to face the risk of boring your friends with the uneventful peace you 've cultivated mrough your crafty choices?

GEMINI (May 21 -June 20):

In some zodiacal traditions, Gemini is represented not by tl1e Twins but by the Lovers. That casts your sign in a very different light, doesn't it? It suggests that your essence is symbolized best not by siblings wim a close but inexact resemblance, but by romantic partners in me dance of courtship. Please try on this new model in the coming weeks, Gemini. I believe you'll be in greatest harmony wim cosmic currents if you conceive of yourself as being me embodin1ent of a passionate relationship between two energies longing for union.

CANCER (June 21 -July 22): In 1761, me Italian scientist Lazzaro Spallanzani performed an experin1ent which proved for the first time mat tiny microorganisms lived in me air and could contaminate purified water. He didn't follow up on the tantalizing implications of tl1is breakthrough, however. A century later, Louis Pasteur happened upon the same discovery and applied it to such practical ends as keeping wine and milk from spoiling. Pasteur got all the credit, and deservedly so: He pushed to develop all the potential of his findings. And what does this have to do with you, Cancerian? Now is tl1e time to make Pasteur, not Spallanzani, your role model. (Thanks to James Burke's The Knowledge Web for me info about me two scientists.)

LEO (July 23 -Aug. 22): I dreamed last night mat the Nobel Prize in Kick-Ass Oracles had been awarded to yours truly. As me judges handed me my check for $180,000, mey cited as a sterling example of my work me horoscope I wrote for you this week. Here it is: Conjure up cocky fantasies about outrageously fun adventures, Leo. Do tl1is for many days, always wim me mischievous intention of outdoing me previous day's amazing reverie. Make it your luxurious pastime, your secret vice. Wimin a week, your in1agination will have awakened to shockingly beautiful possibilities. Wimin two weeks, you will already be at work rounding up wonders you had never before dared to mink you deserved.

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VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Once upon a time, tl1ere was a very wellbehaved Virgo fourth-grader who got all A's. One day in class, her knee caught on a wad of chewing gum stuck to me bottom of her wooden school desk. Dizzzgusting! As she peeled me gum off, first from her knee and men me desk, a folded note slipped from a hole in me desk mat had been covered by me gum. How mysterious! As she read the note, her eyes filled wim excitement. The message merein contained a fascinating idea. But when she mought of how she'd come by it, her expression darkened. We now interrupt this fable, dear reader, to ask you to predict the outcome for our heroine. Did she or did she not act on the info she'd obtained in such a messy, undignified way?

LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22):

In his autobiography, the late Dallas Cowboys football coach Tom Landry wrote, "The primary challenge of me National Football League can be boiled down to a one-sentence job description: to get people to do what mey don't want to do in order to achieve what mey want to achieve. " I'd bet, Libra, that you just got a shiver while reading that, since it has resemblances to the principle mat's been ruling your life lately. That's the bad news. The good news is mat you 're about to start harvesting the rewards for doing all that stuff tl1at you didn't want to do.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): "Only six companies control most of what America reads in books, magazines and newspapers and watches on TV and at me movies," Bill Moyers said in a talk on "Journalism's Last Stand." The result, he bemoaned, is an "obsession witl1 celebrities, a need for speed over accuracy and me proliferation of ... speculation over reporting." Happily, dear reader, me publication mat prints this column has not yet been snapped up by me banal cabal tl1at's out to shrink your brain. For now, men, you 're safe. Please seek much more of this kind of sanctuary in the coming weeks. You 're in a phase when you especially need to shield yourself from subtly sickening influences. Might be best, in fact , to go on a fast from anyming that feeds tl1e dumb beast in you. Nourish the life force of me ingenious transformer you are when you 're at your best.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21):

It's National Painkiller Week for all Sagittarians. The best way to celebrate does not involve taking massive doses of ibuprofen or morphine. Nor would I recommend that you shut out the world wim a vengeance or render yourself numb. No, me ideal way to observe this holiday is to become aware of all me pleasurable interruptions mat are awaiting your invitation. The moment you give mem the go-ahead, mey will begin flooding into your life, arousing a flow of painkilling endorphins mat you haven't experienced in many moons .

Bottom line:

AQUARIUS (Jan . 20 - Feb. 18): If my crystal ball is accurate, you now have your eyes on tl1ree different doors, all of which lead to intriguing goodies. Curiously, however, you seem to be under me illusion that you can somehow enter all mree doors sin1ultaneously, My crystal ball shows you nervously running from door to door, banging on each one as you frantically crane your neck to see if the omers have been opened yet. My advice to you, Aquarius, is to pick one to concentrate on. Stand in front of it and knock calmly until you're ushered in. The amazing thing is, I believe it won't even matter which door you choose, because the act of committing yourself to a single option will eventually result in you getting another crack at slipping mrough me other two doors at a later date.

PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20):

The irony of mis week's cosmic joke is mat the less egocentric you are, me more likely it is you'll get what you really need. Whenever you go out of your way to do people favors wim no strings attached, for instance, you'll set in motion a series of behind-me-scenes events mat will ultimately bring you an unexpected boon. It'll also be liberating for you to take a break from worrying about how every event affects you personally. Any time you make an effort to visualize what anomer person is thinking or feeling, you'll dissolve a little more of the mental block mat has been undermining your creativity.

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DO YOU SPEAK MICRONESIAN? We need you! $ I 0-$25/hour. PT/FT. No exp. necessary, will train. Call Henry: 523-3073

Dynamic International Company P/T $500-$1 ,500/mo. FIT $2.000-$5,000/mo. Free vacations. Training available. Call for app. 680-9448

FREEDOM! Make your time & income your own-not controlled by others. Call 924-1817 now for FREE info. Get exposure for your new product or set up a booth for as low as $80/mo in a new open market. Call 221-6042 for info.

Growing Company seeking reps. Training & support provided. Earn $500-$6,000/mo (PT/FT) 539-2435

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LOCAL VENDING ROUTE. Must sell. Minimum investment $4,800. Financing avail. Call l-888-712-8363 (AAN CAN) New Automated Home Business. Quickly earn a full-time income. No selling. · Unlimited income. Visit the website http://www.retirequickly.net/ca to see & hear complete presentation. (AAN CAN)

GETAWAYS

TICKETS BE FLEXIBLE, SAVE $$$'s

California/Norwest $129 *OW+ Tax Europe from CA $249 * OW + Tax

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-:- THE ARTS

ARTS & CRAFTS

A SPECIAL & UNIQUE GIFT! Shadow Lamps * Watch the shadows dance!

Call 754-1991 or visit our website: www.bentoutofshape.com

GALLERIES HUGE SELECTION!

Asian & Island Antiques, Artifacts Show closing soon. Selling out entire stock! 15% to 20% off! Tsukabai carved rock garden containers 30% off

538-6053 KO'OLAU GALLERY

Now located at Manoa Marketplace Oils, Acrylics, Watercolors, Printmaking,

Ceramics & more ... by Island Artists. 988-4147 Need a roommate?

Check out Honolulu Weekly Shared Housing ads

for a great roommate!

MY TREASURE 526-3959 1116 Pensacola St. 222· 7085

•i~TIQrES •.JEWELRY •ARTWORK •COLLECTIBLES

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MUSIC INSTRUCTION

DRUM INSTRUCTION by Jack Campbell 550-2714

MUSICIAN'S EXCHANGE RHYTHM/LEAD GUITARIST: looking to join/form band. 292-8613

MARKETPLACE

FOR SALE DISCOUNT CIGARETIES

FROM JUST $10 PER CARTON! Complete line including all major brands!

1-877-234-CIGS (2447) http ://www.senecasmokes.com

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ILE DE LA PERLE Specializing in Exotic Tahitian Black Pearls

922-2585 * [email protected] SHIPPING CRATE: heavy duty, 8'x7'x7'. $300 OBO. Tom, 735-0631 USED WASHING MACHINE: great shape, 30 day warranty. $ I 00, delivery neg_otiable. 551-1957 WIND SURFING: beginner's board, complete, with sail, etc. $200. 955-5250

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for Old Items of Value 262-4868 Photos of New Years Eve Oahu Wanted

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WHEELS

AUTOS GOOD USED WHEELS $500-$1000

Hondas, Sentras, Pickups Ask for CY at 676-8199

MIND/BODY /SPIRIT

SPIRITUAi/METAPHYSiCAL Wednesday, March 15, 7-9 p.m. • $5.00

Dale Mui/ins presents the video, 1>R. FRln·RUSTY KNIFE suR,EON"

Friday, March 17, 7-9 p.m. • $25/$30 shaman and healer Diana Allen presents a "CELTIC SHAMANIC JOURNEY" Sat., March 18 • Noon-4:00 p.m. Readers, healers, Tarot, crystals, Reiki ...

all at mini-rates/ PSYCHIC FAIR

Tues., March 21, 7-9 p.m.• $125/course Joyce Zak presents a 4 week course in

'"MAGI CARDS" Wednesday, March 22, 7:30-9 p.m. • $20

an evening with noted local author ROBERT SHAPIRO· CHANNEL We buy quality used books, tapes & CDs ... daily alter 5pm & wkends!

Gocnen pnoernx 1251-B S. KING• 593-1249

FENG SHUI Increase prosperity with this ancient

Chinese art of space management HARMONIOUS CREATIONS

Real Estate & Feng S/111i Services For Feb. classes call: 366-4959

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50% OFF Full Set or Fiberglass Regular Price - $50 With this ad - exp. 4/19/00

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•

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North Shore Yoga Rec. Center near Shark's Cove Morning, Evening, & Private Classes Available Watch the Whales & Take Yoga

Carol: 638-7591

MIND/BODY /SPIRIT SPIRITUAi/METAPHYSiCAL

FREE Meditation Classes Improve Concentration, Health & Inner Peace. Sun eves Sri Chinmoy Center. 394-2007 for time & address. KABBALAH! Improves Life! Books, Videos, Tapes. Study Group. Call Alon 383-3594.

LOVE? HEALTH? CHOICE? Spiritually Awake Integrative Counseling

Private Sessions * Groups Sheryl Jai, Reiki Master 888-870-0727 PSYCHIC READINGS & HEALINGS

Love, Career, Life Purpose, etc. Call Sheila Feigin 951-5441

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HEALTH & FITNESS

HAWAII GYM EQUIPMENT Custom Made Weight Lifting Equipment. Benches, Power Racks, Pulley Systems, Smith Machines, Lat PullDowns, Combination equipment and Much, Much More! 377-5612

AcupunctureWorks 262-3308 Full one-hour individualized treatments

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COLON THERAPY REFERRAL SERVICE 1:r 261-4511

COLONICS Gentle Gravity Method Kate Butterfield, RN 523-7505

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Feel Truly Loved on Maui Tantra Sacred Sexual Teaching

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875-6837 * 573-3377 Recorded Info Couples Too! Women trainees needed!

Get in Shape, Learn Self.Defense, Have Fun! Through the Ancient Filipino Martial Art of Eskrima. Eves: Tue 7-9; Fri 6:30-9. Hawaii Eskrima Club 537-6954 or 591-3513. hawaii-eskrima.com

GOT HEALTH? Boost your immune system with the best anti-oxidants in the world. Don't take my word for it.

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Men's Massage Group- March 25 For info, call Mike 721-1726 MAT 5342

THE ANCIENT ART OF EAR CANDLING

Expand your awareness, remove impacted ear-wax

Deborah: 536-3767 THE TANNING SHOP: 599-5999 A week of tanning, up to 20 minutes max four sessions, with ad, $10.00 Yoga Classes on the North Shore

Sandy Feet Yoga with Carol, Pupukea Rec Center and Sunset Point. Certified personal trainer. privates available. 638-7591

INS RUC ION MATH, PIANO & RUSSIAN language tutoring: Call Alina: 284-0752

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MIND/BODY /SPIRIT

LICENSED MASSAGE "I Felt So Much Better!" Therapeutic Massage for all its benefits.

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A Therapeutic Massage by Miller Full Body * Couples Discount

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Fabulous Massage Gina, Ginger, Susan, Dee (MAE 5192)

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Hawaii Skin Care & Massage 942-8416 or 942-2136 for appt. MAE 1407

HEALING MASSAGE Magical, Mystical for men & women

LAURlE: 944-4743 (MAE 1303)

Keep in Touch Massage by Tosh

561-4138 MAT 5007

Massage by Dominick men & women 1:r 945-9990 1:r mat 5192

MASSAGE IN WAIKIKI Full body Shiatsu & Swedish massage

good for hardworking folks and athletes. Call Jimmy 286-6081 MAT 3416

NAMIKOSHISHIATSU The only pure & correct system of shiatsu. Lomilomi and zen body therapy, nerve & muscle therapy. 591-3647 (mat 3192) THE TENSION TERMINATOR MAN

Call Brad @ 583-0953 MAT 1803

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE Jennifer: 258-2064 (MAT 5269)

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE by SANDY 566-0540 MAT 2125

WINDWARD MASSAGE Swedish-Sports-Medical

Men's Massage Group March 25 Call Michael 721-1726 MAT 5342

SINGLES SERVICES

SEARCHING FOR A SERIOUS LONG TERM

REIATIONSHIP OR !ylARRIAGE? We'll introduce you to

a compatible partner from our pre-qualified membership of all ages & nationalities. Contact MS UAISONS HAWAII

Phone (808)721-4288 Fax (808)923-6021

Old World Furniture. New World Prices.

MIND/BODY /SPIRIT SINGLES SERVICES

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ANNOUNCEMENTS

EVENTS Dr. Sasha & Janet Lessin, of TIME, Inside Edition, Extra & Leeza Gibbons fame, present monthly TANTRA seminars on Maui & private coaching anywhere for individuals, couples & polys. Re-romanticize your relationship, heal hurts , increase intimacy. I-877-244-4103, schooloftantra.com

PUBLIC NOTICES YOUR CLASSIFIED AD

PRINTED IN MORE THAN 100 ALTERNATIVE PAPERS

like this one for just $950.00! To run your ad in papers with a total circulation exceeding 6.5 million copies per week, call the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies at 202-822-1955 . Ad Number: l 068 (AAN CAN)

WRITE-TO-ME PERSONALS 51 yr-old nice/educated M ISO F for serious LTR. POB 8710, Hon, HI 96830-0710.

Hono/11/11 Weekly is not responsible for checking the lllllh or ac

curacy of the infonnation in classified ads or the backgrounds of the persons placing those ads. Accordingly, Honolulu Weekly

makes no representations. promises or guarantees about the lllllh

or accuracy of the infonnation in the classified ads or about the

backgrounds of !hose persons. We are not liable for losses or expenses resulting from publication errors or omissions of an ad.

Drivers Needed! Routes available

NOW! Independent

contractors apply. Need your own CAR & GE# Call Kate Paine

at Honolulu Weekly 528-1475 ext. 16

HONOLULU

. . Meet Quality Singles Weekly events, mcludmg: 524-2712 • Sat. Feb. 26•- Laser Tag •Sun.Feb. 'lT"- Horseback Riding • Thurs. Mar. 2"- ''tbvYcuO"ilml/lllDS\l>Jrb/'\\b1<tql

• Sat. Mar. 4,.... Kayaking to Kepapa Island • Tues. Mar. 7'- Introductory Feng Shui Workshop

For the price of assembly-line

furniture you can own real antiques.

We're incredibly affordable because

we locate and import ourselves direct

from China. 531-3774 • Sun. Mar. 12"- lntemational Food Night •Tues.Mar.14*-~SkisforDalrr,i'WcMtql • Sat. Mar. 18"- Submarine fWe • Sun. Mar. 19"- Mountain Biking PACIFIC ORIENT TRADERS • Sat. Mar. 25" - Snorkel, Lunch & Sail ANTIQUES DIRECT FROM ASIA

Introductions• Activities• Workshops 720 [WILE!, #222 • TUES-FRI: 9:30AM-4:30PM • SAT: 9:30AM-3:00PM • SUN: CLOSED

Meet attractive Japanese Ladies & Gentlemen/ here in Honolulu - for dating, romance & marriage. They seek partners of all nationalities. Call for personal in"troduction service.

Hawaii - Japan Club, Inc. ff 593-2255

Honolulu Weekly is seeking a Classified Sales Manager Lead, inspire and develop our growing classified team. Must have 2 years experience selling print media, preferably in classified or classified display and a proven track record of success. Salary+ commission + bonus and benefits. Fax resume, cover and comp requirements,Attn Sales Manager to: (808) 528-3144 or mail to:Hono/11/u WpntA / Weeki , 1200 Coll e Walk Suite 214, Honolulu Ill 96817.No bo11e calls lease. "-'C.,,N T

534-7024

March 15 - 21 , 2000 • Honolulu Weekly• 29

, ..

_ _".-._ .· -', 18 + · ~ ~ . . . .

"I Like Romantic Dinners." What do you like?

The Confidential Connection is

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Swing into Dating!

Record & listen to personal ads Freel 536-6625 (code: 2727)

Drivers Needed! Routes available NOW!

Independent contractors apply.

Need your own CAR &GE#

Call Kate Paine at Honolulu Weekly 528-1475 ext. 16

Meet Local Singles of all

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H O N O L U L U

100% SICILIAN

LTR POSSIBLE Humorous, lnendly SBF, 47, likes singing. Would like to meet gccdlooking, intelligent, friendly SM who will accept me for me. Ad# 3848

CALL FOR DETAILS Independent, responsible SWPF, 40, 5'3', curty red hair, gcfden eyes, good-looking, wortd traveler, many interests. Seeking fit, attractive SPM, 35-55. Ad# 2879

Beauty, brains, and sense of humor, all in nicely packaged, greeneyed r= looking for witty, 40ish Afro-American M. Ad# 8199 SEEKING EXCITEMENT

And securitvl Can you 9ive me them? Romantic, practical, passionate SW!=, 40, attractive, petite, slender. Seeking geed-looking SWM, under 48. Ad# 2973

AS TIME GOES BY ... our love will only grow strongerl European SF, 35, ISO earthy, athletic BM, 35-40, N/S, NID, for fun and romance! Ad# 3917

SOMEONE LIKE ME Zany, brainy SWPF, 47, enjoys travel, SCUBA diving, movies, arts, ISO N/S SWM, 47-53, wi1h similar quallties. Ad# 2667

DON'T HESITATE Attractive, intelligent, kind-hearted BPF, 34, grad student, enjoys beaches, exercising, dining, movies. Interested in meeting SM, 30-45, N/S, 6'+, 2001bs.+ Ad# 3017

ALOHA HAWAII This well-built, pretty, jovial, Italian Calffomian, 58, prefers a wel• built, tall, fun, outgcmg compatible Hawaiian M, 48-55, wi1h great personality. Ad# 2121

RECIPE 4 ALOHA Combine this happy, frt, slender, affectiooate, sensitive, bright, N/S DWPF, 51 , with soulful, active, good-humored, delicious M. Is It you? Ad# 9355

LET'S TALK STOCKS lntelli\Jent SAPF, 53, 5'4' , 1141bs,, enjoys travel, music, singing, exerase. You: SWM, 43-57, N/S, kind, thoughtful, humorous gentleman seeking a LTR. Ad# 8197

ARE YOU THE ONE? Intelligent, attractive WF, 33, ISO educated, attractive, creative M, 30-40, with humor and confidence in himsetl, to have inteHigent conversations. Ad# 3322

A WORK IN PROGRESS This spiritual, unconventicnaJ SWF, 41 , is wann, friendly, NIS, NID, erjoys sailing, hiking, ISO WM, 35-49. Ad# 1069

ENJOY LIFE'S GIFTS DAPF, 44, ISO SPM, 40-55, who enjoys lffe's gifts, nature, music, movies, art, travel, and the magic of aspecialfnendsh\:>.Ad#9148

KEEPING HEART OPEN Outgoing, very attractive WF, 55, enjoys dancing, traveling, reading, SCUBA diving, ISO honest, intelligent M, 18-65, who likes to have fun. Ad# 2548

CALM AND SERENE Can best describe this laid-back SF, 34, who enjoys reading, relaxing, meditating, listening to music end stuclymg different cultures, religions. Ad# 2985

DON'T BE ALONE. .. Any looger, call this classy SBF, 36, 5'8', blond hair, blue eyes, great smile. ISO financially secure, specialSWM, 36-60.Ad#2815

TRUE MILLENNIUM SINGLE SF ISO SM, late 40s, scmecne that warrts to go out, have dinner, attend sporting events, likes to travel, a likeable person. Ad# 8191

INTERESTING LADY - Wei.traveled SWF, 55, sense of humor, likes swimming, outdoor

activities, dancing, traveling, music, concerts, plays. ISO SWM, 45-liO, similar interests.lqualities. Ad# 8192

SHOW ME THE TOWN This SWF, 40, NIS, seeks to meet an active SWM for friendship and fun. Ad# 3417

FULL-AGURED DIVA looking for a fun-loving, honest SM, under 40, to share Ille hclidays to start and possibly more. Let's heck up! Ad# 3343

SOULMATE DESIRED Romantic SF, 42, loves walks, talks, fun times. ISO WM, 35-45, ~~te, generous, sincere, no games, ready for commitment.

NEW TO THE AREA Attractive SF, 42, 5'2', slender, lo/lg dark hair, adventuroos. Seeks companion to shew me the Island end maybe mere. Ad# 2241

BEAUTIFUL SWISS French sophisticated lady, enjoys tennis, swimming, traveling, dinmg, mcv,es, computer. Seeks D/SWM, 45-liO, tall, kind, well established, for serious relaticnsh\:>. Ad# 8107

SHARE GOD'S BLESSINGS SWF, 39, blond, 5'8', 120!bs., attractive, mother, enjoys fine dining, theater, movies, travel. ISO sexy, attractive, successful WCM, 35-40, 6'+, financially/emotionally secure. Ad# 1259

TREAT ME RIGHT And I'll treat you better. WF, 34, looking to meet handsome WM, guitar player, under 45, N/D, for lasting relationship. Ad# 1670

TRIPLE A Adventuroos, attractive, and affectiooate, professional, hapa F, 37, ISO educated, loving, honest, confident PM who fikes the outdocls and dogs. Ad# 4009

ATTENTION: RESPONDER You responded to ad#9507 'Honolulu Sweetheart" before 11/2/ 99. Your message wasn't clear. Please respond to this. Ad# 8104

ISO FRIEND & PARTNER Spiritual, bilinriual SWF, 42. I enmi dancing, camping, hiking, laugh~~,.ti:529;'\° honest, NIS, , spiritual, understanding, open

MAKE ME LAUGH Auburn-haired, fair-skinned SWF, 39, 57', 1501bs., loves dancing, ocean, music, ltterature. ISO SM to have fun, laughter, and romance. Ad# 2605

ISO RELATIONSHIP Brown-haired, haze.eyed SWF, 40s, 5'4', 1351bs., likes tennis, dining out, movies, traveling. ISO tall, well-estabr,shed SWM, 45-65, for serious relationship. Ad# 3326

AUSTRALIAN? Relocating Spring, 2000. I am a secretary and writer, F, 44. Likes: nature, music from '60s-'B0s, cooking, cats, kids, and more. Ad# 5662

ARE YOU FOR ME? Call and see. Good-looking WCF, 31, looking for WM, 30-35, who's attractive and into music, conversations, island exploration, scciaV cultural events. Ad# 2871

"ZOINKS, SCOOBYf" SWPF, 30, overworked and under-funned. Can you fix that? Let's see ff we laugh at the same things. Ad# 8283

FRIENDS AT ARST Attractive Honolulu lady, 38, born and raised here, slim, seeks the sweetest and kindest local M, 40-55, NIS, N/D. Ad# 8098

GIVE IT A SHOT Run Diamond Head, swimAJamoana, bike North Shara, cf,ve Electric Beach, surt three's and read Harville Hendrix? Call this 5'11', 37, WPF.Ad#3613

YOUNGER MAN WANTED !!lone.haired, blue-eyed, degreed, sexy, spiritual SW mom, 44, likes reading, writing. ISO down-to-earth, intelligent, younger SWM who likes the outdoors, having tun. Ad# 2099

FULL-AGURED LADY Compassionate SWFF, 32, with great face/personality, loves dancing, water sports. ISO fun-loving, moncgamcus, intelligent, fit, compassionate, romantic, sensitive SWM, 25-42. Ad# 3628

ATTRACTIVE ARTISTIC Affectionate SWF, 51, blond, blue-eyed, enjoys laughing, dancing, movies, dining, travel. Seeking SPM, 43-55, N/S, who's secure, sincere, for LTR. Ad# 3257

WANTED: BEST FRIEND For play and fun. Hopefully more later. ISO 50-62, tall, kind man who laughs. I'm tall, attractive, blond, playful, funny, kind F. Ad# 8353

THE MEANING OF LIFE Spiritual, active, fun WPF, 33, loves traveling, good conversation, dancing, beach walks, the sympllcny, sa,ling. Seeking adventurous WM, 27-35, NIS. Ad# 2394

EX.PLAYBOY PLAYMATE ISO Brad Pitt-type, 21-46. She's fun, tan, sexy blond, 36, NIS loves spontaneous events, the arts, Starbucks coffee, much more. Ad# 3902

QUALITY FOREMOST Third generation WWJF, 48, 5'3", 90tbs., educated businesswcman, seeks responsible, honest SJM, 40-53, never married, childless, N/S, college educated, financially secure. Adi 2180

SWEET & GIVING Responsible SAF, 65, ISO intelligent, healthy, clean-Ort D/SWM, 57+, who shares interests in travel, reading, dancing, conversation, romance. Ad# 3993

100'4 ITAUAN Ivy League grad, SWF, 33, 5'6', 115fbs., loves yoga, hiking, martinis. You're financially secure D/SNWPM, 30-45, ready to settle down. Ad# 1297

SALSA! SBF, 28, 5'4', medium build, new to the Island, addicted to saisa dancing. ISO salsero, 2&40, race open. Must love to salsa! Ad# 8256

GIVE ME A CALL To find out more about me: slim, quiet, active, green-eyed brunette, 58. ISO honest, secure, romantic WM,~ . wi1h a ready smile. Ad# 1370

M Male WW Widowed G Gay

H Hawaiian A Asian

A Filipino N/S Non-smoker N/D Non-<lrinker

P Professional ISO In search of

L TR Long-term relationship

O Double daters F Female S Single D Divorced

B Black W Whtte

K Korean V Vietnamese

J Japanese C Chinese L Local

AS GOOD AS IT GETS Successful, beautfful, curvaceous WPF, 43. ISO sincere, intelligent, responsible WM, 33-45, who will treat me like the goddess I am. Ad#3874

YOUNG-HEARTED SWF, 65, outgoing, tun-loving, young-hearted, positive. ISO SM, any age, N/S, sincere, honest, gentle, secure, fer movies, dancing, travel. Ad# 8259

ARE YOU ... LOfely? Sick of going to the movies by yoursett, taking long walks? Into enjoying the scenery, dancing? Call me (SF, 34!) Ad# 2545

LEAVE ME A MESSAGE Attractive, creative, gregarious, educated SWF, 32, looking for a SPM, 30-40, employed, attractive, confident, likes plays, museums, music. Ad# 3239

TAKE A LONG WALK Full-figured SW mom, 21 , seeking compassion, love, lrust, and tun from a SBM. tt interested, then give me a call. Ad# 3057

GET TO KNOW ME This attractive, adventurous, fun-loving, energetic SWF, 52, loves dancing and is seeking a communicatrve, good dancer SWM, 42-58, 57'-f,'. Ad# 1318

HEY YOU NEVER KNOWI OF, 51 , 5'6', vaned interests & would love to share them wi1h a special HM, 45+. Want to knew more? Calli Ad# 3619

BEST OF BOTH WORLDS I'm good for nights on the town, or just quiet cuddly times! SHF, 23, entrepreneur & mom of one. ISO M, 18+. Ad# 2232

GRAB YOUR DANCING shoes and let's gel Sensitive, caring DWF 60, loves dancing, sports, theater. ISO caring, honest, humorous, sett-sufficienl WM, 55-70. Ad#3921

LOVES HAWAII! WWWF financially secure, seeks companionship, 60-70ish. Enjoys swimming, cruising, dancing, movies. Wants to share with healthy and outgoing, N/S WM. Ad# 8152

LIFE IS BEST SHARED Sociable DWF, recent 51 year old, 5'6'. ISO a best mend, confidant, lffemate, an honest, sharing, committed WM, fit, 46+. Ad# 1373

men NOT LOOKING FOR

'Miss Righi Now'. DWPM, 41 , 5'8', 155fbs., no kids, NIS, no drugs, physically fit, seeks F for LTR. Ad# 9633

007 SEEKS AGENT 99 Are you seeking someone to explore and enjoy these great islands with? Me too. WM, 33. M//9741

ISO GOOD TIMES SWM, 45, pilot, fikes traveling, beach, movies. ISO fun, adventurous SWF, 28-40, with fun in her head, adventure in her heart. Ad# 2364

WE GO TOGETHER SWM, 36, brown hair/eyes, Elvis impersonator, likes candlelight dinners, snuggling. ISO SK/FIF, 25+, who likes children, N/S. Ad# 8202

GOOD TIMES Outgoing, athletic, college educated SWM, 31, enjoys SCUBA diving, traveling, ISO attractive, adventurous SF, 18-35. Ad# 2516

A LOT OF FUN Funny, outgoing, tan SWM, 33, enjoys surfing, sun bathing, hiking, ISO outgoing, N/S SWF, 21-40, to enjoy lite. Ad# 3422

MALAMA 'AINA LWM ISO N/S, Hawaiian SF, 21-36, children okay. Retired. Puakenekenelfrutt farm, plays on trampcfine, rides horse, 4x4, ocean sports. Ad# 820t

MUSIC MAN Distinguished, gcccHccking, Italian piano player, 50s, ranch manager. Seeks homebody for romantic cflll18rs, videos, nature walks, massage. Ad# 1131

A SMILE LIKE YOURS makes this loyal, open BM, 41, glad he's alive I Enjoys music, wcrk~l.is~::;{eading. ISO confident, humorous, compatible F,

MAKE THE MILLENNIUM Memorable! A thousand years isn1 long enough for al the romance this ex-military DWM, 42, can offert ISO spontaneous, compatible SF.Ad#3031

WHATEVER U DO ... don't call this ad ff you're net ready for adventure! Adventuroos, intelligent, wortdty, well-rounded WM, 34. ISO educated, interesting, outgoing AF. Ad# 2997

UP FOR ANYTHING Easygoing, understanding WM, 35, likes theater, concerts, traveling, the outclocrs. Hoping to meet outgoing, inteUigent, attractive, frt , humorous F, 25-37. Ad# 3526

rrs POSSIBLE Outgoing SM, 38, 6'2', dark-haired, brown-eyed, ISO N/S SF who likes art, nature, and a variety of interests. Ad# 1953

FRIENDS TO START BM, 31 , 57', medium build, N/S, N/D, likes quiet times. ISO SF, 18-41, under 5'8', fit, to share the same. Ad# 1911

GOOD FOOD GOOD MUSIC and you! What else does this fun, attractive, open WM, 42, need to be happy? ISO lffe-loving, adventurous AF. Ad# 3756

WE GO TOGETHER SWM, 36, brown hair/eyes, EMs impersonator, likes candlelight dinners, snuggling. ISO SKIFIF, 25+, who likes children, N/S. Ad# 8198

25 ACRES OF HAPPINESS Sincere M, 49, likes indoor/outdoor activities, looking for F, 35-42, slim/medium build, for LTR and more. Ad# 1671

A LOT TO OFFER Successful, intelligen~ handsome, personable, emctionallyl1inancially secure DWPM, 42, 6', in-shape, ISO WF, under 40, slender, attractive, well-rounded, for possible relationship. Ad# 1890

SPOIL EACH OTHER Good-looking, middle-aged M, in excellent shape, seeki~ same in F to become mends, lovers, and share the fantasies of lite. Ad# 2940

ALWAYS ON THE GOI Adventuroos, loyal, educated, humorous, geed-locking WM, 40, loves snow-skiing, walks, dinners, movies, traveling, seeks inshape, attractive, spontaneous, petite D/SF, 30-40. Ad# 2880

HEAL TH CONSCIOUS WM, 65, good listener, creative, compassionate, stable, into heath foods, healthy lffestyte, long talks, ISO WF, ever 18. Ad# 1453

f CAN MAKE IT WORK Sett-employed DWM, 46, 6', 2001bs, N/S, lives in New York City, has heme in Hcnclulu, seeks F, 2s+, for LTR. Ad# 3671

LIFE UNDER THE STARS Physically fit WM, 33, loves being outclocrs, hiking, camping, etc., ISO F, 21-33, to do the same. Ad# 1457

EXPLORE THE ISLANDS Wrth me! I'm a WM, 42, ISO F, 25-35, wi1h a passion for the ocean, surfing. Friendship first. Ad# 3352

11 INGREDIENT: TRUTH Young-looking DBM, 40, enjoys basketball, dancing, deep conversations, ISO F, 21-40, to begin as friends, building a truthful, honest LTR. Ad# 3553

JUST FRIENDS I'm a WM, 29, ISOanadventuroos, fun, fitF, 19-27, toenjoyindcOf/ outdoor activities and begin a casual relationship. Ad# 3391

HARDWORKING CARING Sett-employed, outgoing WM, 42, loves working out, preparing romantic meals, ISO AF, 30-40, to enjoy sunrises. sunsets, concerts, hcme-ccoked meals. Ad# 3357

KNOW WHAT HOCKEY, beer, & this geed-looking WM, 22, have in common? They're all good things from Canada! Seeking WM, 18-40. Shew me Hawaii! Adl3116

A GREAT FRIEND Mature, youthful AM, 33, likes New Age stuff, games, movies, beaches, seeks mature, energetic, fun-loving WM, 18-33, forfriendsh\1, companionship. Ad# 1896

NIGHT OWL GWM, 30, private person, intelligen~ new to the area. looking for bright SM for a possible fun-loving relaticnshi:>. Ad# 1813

PRINCE CHARMING Attractive, blue-eyed, blond M, 20s, enjoys sports, candlelit dinners, N/S, N/D, seeking attractive M, 18-21. Won1 be disappointed! Ad#B095

TRULY GREAT GUY Very attractive, blue-eyed, blond, channing, romantic SWM, 26, wtth great personality. ISO attractive, channing, romantic SWM, 18-25. N/D, N/S. No games. Ad# 1384

VERY CUTE GAM Intelligent, sexy GAM, 25, 57', 140lbs., seeking stable, interesting, honest, romantic GM, 25-45, for sensual adventures. Ad# 8364

ALL WALKS OF LIFE Searching for a GM who's interested in meeting an easygoing GNAM, 18, N/S, to go out and have some fun. Ad# 1517

GOOD FUN Guy, 36, in Southern Calffornia, will be visaing Hawaii often. Wants to meet new young Hapa/W/A buddy for some fun times! Ad# 8486

QUIET YET ... Adventurous GWM, 35 interested in GM, 18-29, with a sense of humor, who enjoys movies, music, outdoor activities, travel, cuddling. Ad# 1992

LET'S GET ACQUAINTED Friendly, kind SAM, 19, 5'4', 250tbs., likes dancing, clubbing, playinQ volfeyball, movies. ISO clean, healthy SM, 21-35, for fnendsh1p. Adi 2296

LET'S HAVE SOME FUN SBF, 21, ISO SBF for LTR, good times, outings, and whatever we can think of. Ad# 5262

FROM THE HEART GWF, 40, petite, blue-eyed, blond, enjoys the beach, cooking, playing pool, and riding motorcycles. ISO compatible, sincere SF, 30-45. Ad# 1407

NEW TO KAfLUA WPF, 35, ISO kind, intelligent, honest F, 30-45. Enjoys reading, ~:~e~ven~

1 ;terspcrts, biking, hiking. Ne drugs or serious

GIVE ME A CALL SHF, 23, 5'3', medium-built, loves beaches, cookouts, movies, shopping. Searching for a similar SF, 1s+, for friendship first. Ad# 2881

creative COUPLE SEEKING

Fu!Higured, oulgoi"IJ, tun-loving, athletic manried B couple, 30-scmething. ISO manried M for friendship, possibly mere. Ad# 3566

READY AND WAITING Attractive, tall SWM, 34, blue-eyed, smoker, ISO open-minded, NI S SAF who's into role playing, mild bondage, for a relationship. Ad# 2234

THE CLUE TO SOLVING The mystery of this enigmatic WM, 37, is to call this adl ISO woman of mystery for adventuroos, interpersonal exploration. Ad# 3776

A LOT OF FUN Attractive, tall, athletic SWM ISO outgoing A couple, 1845, for fun. Ad# 1779

LET'S GET TOGETHER Well-endowed, tall, fit WM, 30, looking for AF, 1845, for discreet encounters. Ad# 1270

SURRENDER TO FANTASY Energetic, eccentric, mid-408 M seeks sell-sufficient SF for fun and adventure. Loves nature, football, heated debate. Please be fit and pretty, enjoy erotic games, common goddess worship. Ad# 8200

For customer service, call 1-800-783-6019 ext. 126

This is a communi1y pubfication. Participants in Honolulu Weekly Oatemaker must be 18 years or older. This publication reserves the right, at iu sole discretion, to edit or refuse to print advertisements it deems detrimental to its pub6c image or unsuitable for readers. This pub6cation assumes no fiability for the content or reply of a personal advertisement.'Usa of this cofuroo for business soficitation wiU be prosacuted. Callers to thi 1-900 system will bo chargod $1 .99 por minuta on their monthly phone biU.You wit be given instructions on how to respond to a specific ad, browse male or female gree1ings and usa Oatematch. For best reception, cordless phones are no1 racormiended. 3/09/00

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Surfing & Windsurfing Lessons by Hawaiian Watersports: 255-43-'-5_2 __ _

Lose up to 14 lbs in 6 ·days! 6 Day BioDiet, Aspen Wellness 7 Day, Bioslim & More from TV. 1-800-281-3913 or alldiets.com

TV Producer ISO LTR with viewer who wants more out of life-NOT! Watch Tony Group's Tiny TV eves 930pm OC16

C&C Pasta Co. Specialty Italian foods Rotisserie-fresh ravioli, fresh pasta 3605 Waialae Avenue "ti 732-5999

Honolulu's Metaphysical Landmark Sirius Books & Crafts, 2320 Young St, 947-4910

Credit Report Problems? Permanently Improve Your Credit Reports! Toll Free Information 888-430-5535

Hawaii Republican Party Call Now For Membership 593-8180 E Komo Mai!

Author-"Whose Words Changed World"

Paragon Body Piercing Hardware for your Software 1667 Kapiolani Blvd "ti 949-2800 "ti 7 days a week

Psychic Fair Readers, healers, Tarot, crystals, Reiki..all at mini rates! Sat, 3/18, Noon-4pm. Golden Phoenix 1251-B S. King St. 593-1249

Women's Healthcare Caring, Confidential, Affordable, Professional Reproductive Healthcare. Family Planning Centers of HI. Since 1966. Call 589-1149

www.honoluluweekly.com A really cool website. Check it out!

Peacemaker a ,y

Regis Free TV! No millionaires, no commercials even. It's public access and we're proud of it. Look for us in the 50's. Olelo. Your TV.

ServcoAutoCenters Pre-Owned Car Searches, Money-Saving Coupons, Brochures, Prize Drawings and other cool features. http://www.toyota-hawaii.com http://www.servcolexus.com

Computer Training for Adults & Children "Show Your Computer Who is Boss" Computer Safari "ti www.computersafari.com

Lodging-Volcano, Hawaii A selection of Inns, Lodges, Vacation Homes & Restaurants. Call Toll Free 1-800-937-7786 or surf the fl.ow at: www.volcano-hawaii.com

Kickstand Cafe American Dream St. Patty's Day Specials. Check it out! [email protected] [email protected]

Chabad of Hawaii Shabbat services now held at the Hilton Hawaiian Village, Rainbow Bazaar, above the ABC Store. Friday evening services are at candle lighting time, Saturday services 10am, Sunday morning services 830am at the Chabad House, 3430 E. Manca Rd. Call 735-8161 for more info

Serving Authentic Thai Cuisine

Phuket Thai McCully Shopping Center, 1960 Kapiolani Blvd 11am-11pm daily "ti 942-8194

Serendipity Books 'N Gifts Books, Gifts, Readers/Healers for the New Age metaphysical community. Classes: Feng Shui, Wicca, Tarot, Chakra Balancing 949-4711

Lana Live at Gussie L'amour's Hot! All original showcase March 18th, Saturday, 9pm to 930pm

Aprilia Lands in Hawaii! Italian beauties at South Seas Honda: 836-1144

In celebration of the National Women's History Month theme, an extraordinary century for women-now imagine the future, nationally noted speaker, Reed Harris will present a talk on the remarkable life and ideas of Mary Baker Eddy at Border's Book Stores March 18th, Waikele

Mediation of family and business disputes, divorce, estate planning, workers compensation, general legal services. Tom DiGrazia: 262-0730

qi gong enhanced acupuncture Call Joseph F. Gonsalves, L.Ac. at 235-5059

1111 111••11111 we11.• by TOM TOMORROW

12noon, Border's Ward Center 2~ ___ _

Vedic videos, books, CDs ... Bring t he beauty and the power of the world's vedic culture into your life. Call for free catalog: 1-800-235-1624 "ti www.vedica.net

Your Ad Here For as little as $29.17 per week. Call 534-7024

'ren Kena bikes and accessories, community bench, 24 hour repair turn around, loaner bicycles. 1407 Kalakaua Avenue "ti 949-1711 -------Need Up To $260 Today??? All you need is your last bank statement, valid ID, checkbook & verifiable income! Subject to approval. Aloha Payday Loans 371-0696

Brew Your Own Beer! Homebrew kit only $64.95 (with this ad) Find everything you need at 856 Ilaniwai St. Oahu Homebrew and Winemaking Supply 596-2739

Doors 'N' More Your home repair specialist. Free estimates. Call 386-9566. All worijuaranteed up to $1K

Super Lawyer $300 Starts Any Case, fl.at fee per step 123 Law: 942-3622

Student Sailing Opportunity Club offers limited number of student memberships, in return for crew responsibilities. Will train. 943-0017

Linux Seminar/Workshop Sat, March 18, 8am - 4pm At 1111 Bishop Street, Room 200, Honolulu Red Hat Distribution - Install Troubleshooting and Networking Register with Ted Gibson 262-5065 $200.00 Tuition. Limit 20 Students -------

Wednesday Night Blues Jam at O'Toole's Irish Pub, featuring Da Shade For more info check out www.dashade.cjb.net or call 528-0163

Shibori Collection Eurasian Chic. Kilohana Square. 739-2777

Get Your Ash In Here! Tobaccos of Hawaii, 512-101 Atkinson Drive, across from the Hawaii Convention Center. 942-7833

Native Winds American Indian arts, crafts, jewelry, books & music. Above Bead It! in Kaimuki . 599-2436

Beads * Beads * Beads Bead It! 1152 Koko Head Avenue: 734-1182 www.ibeads.com

Hard to find Art Global and local visions. Honolulu Art Gallery: 955-5250

Bare It All

s f

And Be Proud! Remove unwanted hair safely & effectively with Bareskin Hawaii's Hair Removal ystem from Epilight. Call today & schedule a ree consultation to learn how easy permanent

hair removal can be. Bareskin Hawaii: 585-8558

Enjoy Piano & Guitar Classes with qualified teachers. MusicWorks 988-707 4

A Very Special Gift!!!

i 7

Shadow Lamps ~ Shadow art on the wall.. . watch the shadows dance! Designed & made n Hawaii by Charles Mattoch Designs 54-1991 www.bentoutofshape.com

Revenge of the Porn Stars T he movie. www.RevengeofthePornStars.com

Ricky Martin Centerstage Tix irst 8 rows, VIP, $250 & up: 734-8006 F

Big Island Camping V W camper rental 935-6241 www.imua-tour.com

Coffee Haven "Hawaii's First Cafe with Internet" Check e-mail, incl AOL -Low Rates- 73~-2_0_90 __ _

You are invited to be a part of

MDA Soiree 2000 at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel, Monarch Ballroom and Ocean Lawn, Friday, March 31, 2000, 7pm. Call 486-2697 for tickets

Exclusive Space Available! At the Waikiki Landmark w/ Validated Pkg Want tenant w/ experience & clientele Will build to suit. 979-2229

GEICO Auto Insurance. With our Jaw rates and great service,

you'JJ thinl< you're in paradise.


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1\'£ 601 I, REC~ A. R£CORO 1'AA1 IS CONSf.l!VA1'NE AM) COMPAS5~1'EI>!"

"fllER£ IS MA.l>M£N .. 'TIE WORLD, NI> flfERE ARE flllROR!'

"WE MUS1' AU. SR 1IIE UNMllSAL (AU. O LIi£ YOUII 'NEl&IIIIOII

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Prescription Drugs, Side-Effects & Your Body Attend a free lecture this Friday, 3/ 17, 7pm, Moiliili Library to learn how naturopathic medicine works in conjunction with conventional medicine. Dr. Stephanie Hoener: 737-0414 Kahala Natural Health Center

Airline Tickets Best Fare Neighbor Islands $52.00 One Way Magnum Tickets & Tours "ti 923-7825 2134 Kalakaua Avenue, 2nd Floor

That's Jack Cione's shovv, folks! - eVols

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