SIXTY POEMSVANCE DEAN MOULTON2011 - 2013

VANCE DEAN MOULTON

SIXTY POEMS2011 - 2013

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How iv

1 Resolve 1 The Pipes 2 Enid 4 Fairy Tale 6 The Lone Prairie 7 The Accordion 8 The Surrogate 10 Profanity 11 Igor 13 Push 15 Let Be 17 Warrior 19 Ice Harvest 21 Surrender 22

2 Play 23

The River 24 Just As Soon As 25 One Never Knows 27 Fall 29 Theft 31 Oh 33 Soul 35 Once More Around 38 3 Protest 40

Phantom Pain 41 Slice 43 The Bells 45 Tragedy 47 Priorities 48 Mad Men 50

4 Despair 51

Sociopath 52 Men 54 Homeless 56

Streets 59 One Prompt and I Go By 61 She Got 62 Hold 63 Devil Wind 64 Skullduggery (Candor) 65

5 Reflection 67

Ego 68 Justice 71 Mortician Playlist 73 Fools Die Hard 75 Androgyny 77 Unforgiven 79 Beatitudes 81 The Artist 83 Fendlerii 85 Blue Boomer 87 Where Are You 89 Boyhood 91 The Pattern 93 Panache 95 Clarity 97 Rating Cigar 99 Eh Uh 100 Dysfunction 102 Jaco 104 Dark Knight 105 Trayvon 106 Turn 107 Blood 108 Elixir 109

INDEX 110

INDEX OF FIRST & LAST LINES 111

CONTENTS

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Thanks, Brian - collaborator & friend

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Oh, I 'spect some is good, some is okMost is flow flow from the mind of a wishful thinker

I cain't say what is how the words come outThey just do is all I knowNo lies, just there they lie

So, if'n anyone is curiouser than me to knowjust go lookin' in youand swim that river upstream awhile

HOW

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1

RESOLVE

The pipesthe impure bodyfeet mangled fingersshoul'nt deserveto play but do so well

The key is the feelingbehindbecause only measured airfills the cylinderedsoundand pressing harderwon't matter

But pressuredscreamingmatters

THE PIPES

2

and I pushbelieving thatdoing so makes pipeslike Marshall stacksinform the worldof my powerself-indulged or noI cannot careeven thougha discerning earwill hear accosted lossI lose controlwhen I play

Ohow I wishI wishedfor atonement then maybeBachwould forgive memy irreverent trespassesinto the voidthat blesses methe pipes that envelop methe melodiesthat dictate me

Transmutation thencracker to boneblood to bodied life Take the cupTake the sacrament

Pushthe bless-ed airinto adjacent pipesanddissonantlyrejoicefor all is wellthough nonechurched will ever agree

This all reminds meof what happenedof what happenswhen light meetsbodied awarenesswhen compassioned eyesmeet and their rivers flowand mingleanguish withpurityloss withdesire to hold happinessin unsure waters

To the unforgiving heartLet air reign

3

There is no greater strugglethan the one inside your mindyour selfthe place that you cradledthe place that you coddledinsidethe refrigerator boxwhere you playedand thought of your favoriteanticipated your favoriteseasonal TV Peter Paninsidethe welfare housingDad worked but made littleso TV was a plusand Mary Martin more

ENID

4

There I was bornThere I was dad photographedjaybird naked babyon the sofaSome years laterthere I was belted Ignorant babysitterfound me down by the creekacross from the brand new mini-golf parkEven my own ma never did suchShe figured I was the perfect childno wailingno bawlingmaybe even no shit diapers

But this sitter thought I must be breakingsome law to be down at the creeksearching for watersearching for soundsearching for warminconsequential lightupon mudcrawdadsor frogsor the bugs they leave behind

Frogs?When it rains in Enidthey do come outand it's not unusual to seetheir flattened bodiesin the day-after streetsPoor thingsPoor fat tire victimseyes wide open and dried in the nightand only an imaginary soundbut impressive nonethelessto a sponge-minded boy

just wanderinglooking for a magic Peter Pan place to land like a Tinkerbelland believe that things will be better than a fridge cardboard boxShitWhat is this?

What used to be fun is survival nowand I see the stars in the Memphis nightand remember when some caring relative told me oncethat things aren't always what they seemto beDon't worry, see

You'll be all rightYour ma means wellShe's not too smartbut will surprise youwhen you least expectShe'll be walking awayone dayand you'll seethe beauty in it allShe is not greatbut played the cardsshe got and planted the poton you and your siblingsTheyresponded in their waycleared the limbo barand if you askthey will sayOKwe made itbut not without scars

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Well, my heart is a whiskey barrelWooden through and through But gentle as a bearmama with cubLook now she sucklesthe precious progeny

My heart is softened with morning dewIf you are fortunate enough to seeyou will seeit's trueThe heart is indeed capableof amazing somethingness

Mother was a bearShe loved her children wellGoldilocks will tellHer head had every hair

FAIRY TALE

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Take your cares to the lone prairieThat's where you'll find tranquilityAsk your fathers, they will sayThis is the only way

Cast your cares on the lone prairieThat's where you'll find reason to beAsk your fathers, they will sayThis is the only way

The place where we all beganThe moon was intimate with the sandThe sun gave gifts, the waters moreWe grew and wandered, evermore

Leave your cares on the lone prairieGod is there, there's nothing HeHas told your fathers but to sayThis is the only way

THE LONE PRAIRIE

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I have this memory, seeIt started out friendlyA door to door salesman cameoffering a door to a different fatea fate I could not love yetbut there he wasfriendly and kindand held an accordionin a casebut an accordionjust the sameThe velvet smellthe glossy shinethe black and whiteand red and buttonsand I swear to youas pure as my attractionto anything at the timethose keys and colorswere naturalunder my slender fingersand quiet eyes

THE ACCORDION

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and I played to a mirrorto the salesman's delightThis boy's a naturalRight or wrongnobody signedthe purchase agreementsoI feed imagination

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Man, I can't believe exists a twilight zoneIn black and white and warm in-console blissEndearing, feline, Agnes Moorehead hissIs cooler now than then I could have known

Saltines, vanilla ice cream, dad's cologneOn blue nights, I, forgive me, reminisceBut find no memory of maternal kissWhen window-shattering eye finds us alone

As characters drive roles beyond their reachAnd fuel dimensions twixt such oppositesThat dread reality the show befitsA boy does lonely, cathode tube beseech

I've long since learnt that I was not the causeFor grieving just how gone she really was

THE SURROGATE

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He didn't know itbut somehow saved it all upcreptkept stillslept until graduallyone dayawoke andbegan to profusely swearlike a trooperlike a sailorlike a pissed off sonof a pissed off burn victimlying therein his icecryingin the nightscreaming in the dayconfused about the waythe world chooses its victimsno clear reasonsonly clear consequencesof blind male ragedisguised as play boys do

PROFANITY

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Profanity flows with practice The practice of angry thoughtgives gate to wrathful lashing It wasn't a serpentgave reason to flingblame but a serpentinewavelike brainseeded in humanity's cocoondid itby flaming godItall this timehas beenthe somehowignoredsomehowdeniedsomehow washed brainnegatedthatI'm suregod help medid it

Curs-ed mindgood thinggenerosity hidesbeneath youlest you be losttruly lost in the barkof the tree of unacknowledgedyears the concealed pain of a father

minus a father

Go aheadscream a littlelet it outnowwhile you are youngbecause when your daysgive waytoinhibitionit will be too latefor your firstborn of a whirlwindtongueto understandat firstwhyprofanity fliesin the face of the decentquietreservedunsuspectinggrey waveof a lifeledhousing the rageuntil a firecoat found thenebbishinvisible manand his childtargetand screamed the wayto existence

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Igor, pleaseHad you no clue?Psalms are not hallowed eveningsare they?

You know, I've noticedholiday cheer doesn't fitthe minor, modal deviceWho can hear it?

There's no magical wonderfulThere's no crack nutsrhyme or reasondirect connectionfrom candy popschocolate killers in Octoberthrough stuffed turkey birdsall the way throughinjected all the way throughto blood virgin birth in a manger

IGOR

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But waitDon't the Psalms merita happy songa sound of glee?Intuition tells meCome on, MoultonEase up, manYou're too tenseOctober through Decembershould be stress freeNo stress should accompanythe transition from falling leafto evergreen

OKlet's stop and thinkTo a regularprairie-eared descendantStravinsky just a tad weird eh?friggin' scaryI mean, honestly!volga boats and shit?Really?Even Russian youth in twenty-first centuryI wonder, do they even knowthe name Stravinsky?

OKlet's stop and thinkShould we be scared to think about dinosaursroaming primitive earthat a time just aftercreatures crawled from the seaonto the bellyof the earth, slurping the land

digging to hide the eggsof their continued existence?Oh noI should think notunless we have something to hide

There's nothing to hideif you are clearAll can abidethe truth close to hereDon't succumb to fearexcept in jest

The candy's great this wayHoliday cheerSweet eternityDon't lose connection to allthat makes you rememberthe joy of fulfilling sweet pleasuresweet longingsweet fear to sweet comfort

ThanksIgorin a waythanks

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Don't make us laughWe are ItaliansWe know your westerns are tiredWe sing better than themAsk TarantinoWho by the wayhasn't made oneas yet

The Coensyesthey didand the brutality of the Mexicans matches the operatic sentimentalityof VerdiPuccini...

PUSH

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But where does the birth of creativity lie?Whistle it in?Hand gesture it in?Scream it in?Only the gods can sayand they are mute in times like theseOh well

I like Sisyphuspushmy stone to the highest peakand roll with punchesback downbut laugh at the topwatching the stone roll downalonefrom time to timebecause laughter makes me strongstrong enoughto push and push again

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All my life there have beenone or two or sometimes moreEveryone needs a heroI guesswomen tooBut their heroes are lessor actuallycould care less'cause, come onThey are already the true, the authentic, the purethe real workersthe really concernedLet's not fool our man selvesany longer, fools

Everything they dothey do betternever have to reloadIt's all right there

LET BE

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right in their veinsOnly a man fool cannot see the deep irony The spellkeeps men from seeingthe profound wrongnessof their seeing

Once I asked a room full of men'Who, who, pray tellhas ever once doneor even tried to doeven one such menial labor task,one, only one exercise of fingernail-splittingvertebrae-bendingmophead-pushingthat would set their intimate companion free?'

The iron the rodthe dishwashing swellNot one nonot even one could sayHey the house mattersour holy refuge mattersLet me help you lovewoman let us helpYou carried our burden so

Let us learnto care your soulWe know you love us soSo, we are gratefulbut

teach us howhow simple gesturesthe most insignificantmake the purest differencebetween lost and found

You found usand treasure usThank you sowe will not forget

No?Let you be?

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Fucker could sure writeis what they saiddrunk or notMe, I liked him better drunkthen than nowWhen I think of howhe always won an argumentwith mumbut lost his wit whenhe tried to sober upand got so serious about it allthe loss, the strainThough the blurry world was much the samewhen he cried and called mum's nameafter the many times she triedbut diedas when he'd hot breath't ranted

If I'd ever had a sonor ever even been oneI believe he'd have liked me better then, toothan when a sobering bell had rungand bonged me into sensibility

WARRIOR

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Man, sensibility?

The warriors who live longlive to hear the bellThe bell only ringswhen the thing is sureSure enoughthe thing is dong donealmostListen to the warning'cause the end comeseven when you least expect

You might be carefullylistening one nightto the only sound of crickets in the nightcrickets signalingdoomtheir constantfrictiondizzyinginto submission

What do they know?Their wild waxingkeeping the insanityat bayhopingclaimingmighty scratchingguarantees chick cricketsswooning over the soundthe irresistible submittingsound

Sure, I'd fight too

Ribs ache to save the middle class baconLet me see my girls smilewith authenticity They don't know how daddy sees the world nor near how it sees me

Enough is enough!Is it any wonder a man that lives for protecting his ownwill do what the wild worldness will ever and always do?Hell, those mountain male gorillassilver backs gleaminglet and watchlet and watchand with a sober eyenever need forgivenessor trustTrustto the warrior's wildis not evenan afterthought

It all won't matter thenLooking back to whena man, clear-eyed or nolooked into his heart and said, noto his baser selfI know, the best of me resounds with bell resonanceand takes this vibrant lifeand survives long enoughto tellListen, a bell will tellwe're here to stayNothing dizzying will keep usfrom the matter most

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I might say you inspired meThough you behaved so predictablyThe chasm deep when I fell inThe dark so bright I could not see

As goes Wichita Wichita goesShe loved me sure as no one knowsWell OK so one or twoLove lovers like the corn loves crows

The road I'm on I've never beenWhere once I stood I find I leanMy arches high my heels and toesSupport me but the air is thin

Don't get it wrong the myth it grewIf I was wild wild hubris knewKansas boys don't get off freeTheir wings are wax and feathers too

ICE HARVEST

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Don't lie or think that I can never seeThe rage that lies behind your guilded powerThat blasted blue you don for causing cowerServes just to mask a man you cannot be

You badge and badger those that just like meBelieve in, hope for knights that shine their armourThough questing ruthlessly to soul devourVow softly now to bring serenity

A couple once somewhere is surely sureThat gods do favor lives that intertwineFor worse or best they enter treasured lineWithout regard for whether thoughts are pure

Persuade me once and shame falls hard on youDeceive my dream and love does life construe

SURRENDER

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2

PLAY

(based loosely upon Psalm 40: 1 - 3)

expect the riverbeds of claysculptor handsform to fate

twists the ongoing left and rightand two wrongsmake an act

as if by raw trustworthy mindsbend overback toward

mother nature callsfor a spadea spade andthen and then

go

down by the river

THE RIVER

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Just as soon asthe coast is clearthe tears will flow

Actors practicethe craftbut the reality isno one knowswhen the only recourse to economic prison will come

It may come as private islands it may come astobacco havenstax freeIt may comeas crickets chirp in an otherwise quiet night

JUST AS SOON AS

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I remember theself promisedsure thingto a troubled mindwould surely come alongsurely come merelybecause the oft rewarded undeservingselfexpected suchsomehow

But it became easierto seenothing is due usnothing we can cry aboutreally merits due

Romeowe tried to keep our belovedalivebut perhaps the bestwe can operateis a sinking vesselbound down the cheeksof the best weourselves can offer

Let the gods bewareHumanity may swimwith the dolphinsbut the wavesswim truerthan we

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One never knows the least listened to to tellthe truth as blessed truth be known

We heard it longbut alaswe did not actfor acting requiresa certain pride prowessand we had notno we hadn't anynono double negativesnor dual entendresor tryingto say no twiceyet

ONE NEVER KNOWS

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leaving no doubt that yesindeed positivity is the order of the dayYesthe sweet hollerfrom a daya sweet dayin the hollersweet day

Sweet everlasting day forever holding swayI do salute youfrom the frayand I do hereby saythat on any given youthere hereby existsa grand poobah

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The back popsThe hips shiftThe stairs fumble youThe neck turnsand questions why you fall

Is there a walla silent barrierbetween you and your senseofentitlement

The view changes from carpeted oh yesto ceilingedoh nooh shitoh how I wish

FALL

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my mother was still alive

We used to goto the drive-inmoviesThe pillowed smellblends with vinylstation wagonseatsandI do believe the window speakerspeeking ingiving the cluesto the meaning of Exodussmelled the sameas the home phonographand you rememberthe joy of the falling forty-fivestheir spindlesa beautiful jigsaw plastic symboland anticipatesuch soundsthat would make a king shout

Sometimes the mad shitis just tooway toowriterlyYou hate thatand thoughyour intentionsare superioreven to what you imagine

you falljust like the spindled45s

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Nosoyesdefy reprisalWe teens agreedLet's goDad's car is there

My two friends were Petestheir dads tooJackson firstCole secondThe tree's the goal We didn't knowtestosterone stupidityLucky usspace prevailed

Jackson stays behindHe's another poemCole and I return

THEFT

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coast down the driveHow quiet can a garage door be?

Peter!? dad calledOh shitwe're fuckedAha, Peter isO lord gladnot meor actuallymy dad

'Cause dads are the onespoor sodsHahadadsthe clueless onesPoor dads

If I hadthe moneyI'd do the sameprobablyOtherwisesorry sonYou're going downthe path we warned you ofDon't plead ignoranceYou were a sensitive childplenty of warningplenty of chafe

Peterten to twenty

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HeeeeOhthe lot the spotthe extendingwishfulwhatever is nothe thoughtHe drew backan empty handthough his partnercalled front and centerthe offending though ignorantGive it a breakoh lostWho cares?Reallyall ground is commonyes?Sure it isDon't be a prick

OH

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Don't expect that just because your feet fallupon the tiledrealityand payand singand bring coolair to allthat you deservespecial treatmentmanJust who do youthinkyou are?

Are you not a manyou lost soul?Are you a lost man?Can you not please?Can you not please be a man?Can you not be a screamerand a man at once?Can you not be vulnerableand not scream gay at once?

Your pussy meows loudlybut purrs softlylike a marine in a foxholeYou dream wildly toward the blue skywhen all the whilethe deep blue holecalls like a mothercraving sonOh sonbelieve me when I sayno matter what

the Springer show may sayyou are my oneYou are my one and onlyDon't let father fuck you upYou are the one dearestto my heart

I love youI love you my dear boyI love you long past the grave indignitiesThe long lost loseOhhow they lose

Maybe I believel will be better offlike previous intimates now arelike former would-be happieshappy like foxeswith noses in the cool breezethe cool popcorn-scented breeze

OhPoor young crittersdriven by instinctwish them the bestyou lifelong soloistsWish them your clearunhindered beautybecause beauty is all you haveleft

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Blackwhitethe colored languageBarryLarryMoesquaressoulsrhythmracerecordsshowthe real storyDon't lookat clumsy feetlest they leavedancing on the cloudslooking downholy stepsmoving like in a dreamof better existence

SOUL

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Oh mycan't get enoughcan'tof your loveI step in whiteI'll be seen with yousteppin on the cloudsbabesteppin and laughinhavin the real thingbabeOh the thingthe real thingbabeDid I learn to lovethe real thingLet us step in the real thing

I've heard it saidlove can't be real'cause it hurts way too muchNothat makes no sensedon't no make no sense at allIf hurt is love then this is senseDon't lieDon't try to distractDon't make factwhat fantasy extolsThere's a reasonmakeshift reasoninggoes nowhere but down a dead end man-hating alley

LookI can't help my gender

My gender is like yoursWe loveWe need loveWe look and we weepWe are smart tooWe take smart to low levelssurebut be not trickedIf you want acceptancelook to younot weFor we can't givewhat the clouded promises beThe clouds are the dealnothing morethe Greenthe Whitethe Gayethe real thingbabeDon't forgetthe real

We're takin it homebabeLet's make it homebecause it's warm thereno loss thereDon't hate therekidsokbut forgive uspleaseWe sometimes can't winthough we try to flyhigh as cloudsThe sky lets flythe softest truth

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Soulis kingcolor freeWe'll be finefine as all can possibly beRead this nowand read it laterOne daymore meaning comesbut remember thisWhen dance and songcome togetherand mind and heart breathe freethen we will seeThen we will breathe freecausethen we knowsoul

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new digs, new waysnew place to play my acelook here, the scene's clearwhat age must you beto be what you'd been hopingwould be nearto the hope, the first jobthe stepping stonea young man with illusionsaccepts whatever comes his waypre-fab, rake the clodsmason's helper, help me godsI swear, I sweat, I didn't learnwork ethic yet, thoughI fly through the aislesof A and Pthat job, indeed, did help meto understandthe pure high of doing whatmakes you feel freethe check, the dough

ONCE MORE AROUND

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sure, it's a dealbut it's the flyingman, oh yeah, the flyingfrom the truck's ass at midnightto front of store at ninewaving goodbyeand shuffling handsin the airyo, publicyou are the onesthe twos, the threesstop, please, and thinkyour kids need all that?the pops, the choc, the preordainedthe gimme pleases, the plastic jesus?look, OK, it's only the 70s nowbut look ahead, you smart motherswatch how the carts in the aislesdemand, oh guilty pleasuresadd up, wassup, madaddy can pay, right?oh, don't be so uptightit's not so different nowfor you, oh dudethere's love in the aislesthere's love in the smilesdon't be lost counting the costit all comes backya just gottabelieve

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3

PROTEST

SolidarityI am cynical to you butI raise my half arm with my wind-blown sistersand brothers

Yeywe all hear the star-spangled bannerWe hear the Scott Key drinking song and sayHey!Oh yeyHear yeHerewe live longer these days than before and waymore do our crutches costthan during our blessedGod-save-deregulation civil war

But we don't complainAfter all, we do love and sing

PHANTOM PAIN

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the praises of Abel and Cainand get along just as such sons of shine and flowers and bitchesshouldindeedget along

Each time I lift and pourwhat I thoughtwas an endless bottlemy thoughts come to reassure mewhat I did was rightI walked a trailrode a Humvee coachprotected by God and angelsand each stepeach rpm was an answer to prayereven the one to change me forever

And the fire in my throatmatches the flame fires the blameto governmentsnot peopleFor people can find common groundwhen fearless sensible hero leaderscut the hand share the bloodmingle the truth that all need alland shed the view that separationis realitywalls bring security

Heroes are not driven by moneythough their dogma may say soReach in your pocket!Reach for your star!

Come on everybody!This makes who you are!Shame on youif you are not!Don't get leftor leave parts of youon the road to prosperityLet me just sayif life shreds youmake pepperoni pizza

Godfather's approves this message

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The liquor flowed like hot words spiking priceyfur coatsthe killer knivesslashing throughfantasiesof coolhepbikerworkerbaker cleanThis coat makesbadass a gentlebeardedblue-eyed son

Not allwe sons fall lazyeven though we might claim crazy mothers

SLICE

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excuse usfrom anyexpect-fucking-tations

Poor mothersFucking hellthey have takenbullshitfarfar toofar too long

It's not fairit just is notthat men are pull upsand womenjust want to have a goodgood time

Why the warm tears?on cool cheekswarm baker's buns'excusesor filling up buckets ofnothing to dowith you

This world is a man's worldfor nowThough you sliceand dice the egothe malicematches notthe gravity

of truth

Let medearlet me please youmy dearlet me put warmfoodin the mouthsof the lesser beingswe brought in here

Our wood-paneled worldhoused Dick Van Dykeand other diversionsfilling our failing familyspacewith blue and whitehope

Macome ondon't do itit's my ticket to coolKeep the knifein the drawerNo bear cub mama everdid a thinglike this

Just because I searchfor the heppest expressionof heppleaseoh mapleaseleave my coat alone

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Theft!!Good god!Look!The melody bells are gone!

I used to see themexpensively closed upin their individualblackcasescarted and neatbut nowI supposelogic takes a back seatbecause suddenlywho knows whythe whole cart is goneMaybe it's all for the best

LookImagine this

THE BELLS

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A thirdno fourthOK maybe a fifthgraderLarryLeroyLesterNoI bet it wasa girlOf courseLet's not be sexistMaybe a fifth grade girllooked at those neatly stacked bellsand saidOh mylet me just take one of those sweetly-cased beautiesand lordamercy sell the restImagine how much I will getin a pawn shop for such an expensivevaluedicon of esteem

YesOh yesThat would be the highlight of my lifeto takesomething that doesn't belong to meI longI long to have a black-cased setof those wonderful, resonatingbars of black and whitepaintedand tunedpieces of metal

Lord, please let me havethose clear soundingwind-chiming barsof gleeThe joy they bring meis far worth the punishmentI might receivefor stealingthievingbelieving in myself

Would anyone believethat if I or any otherlonging childtook what is not oursbut founda golden opportunityto feel betterthink betterbelieve betterthat life is not so badafter allbecause I have the bellsI am a lost cause?I am a loser?I stand no chance to bea better personbecauseI stolethe bells?

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How could God?Is there no justice?Doesn't he care?Was he angry?What did we do?

You are funny

I shout from the rooftopsbecause I canI'm not lost in the quagmire of dreamsI shout because I believe I will be heardI shoutThere is no God that has anything to do with your lossYour loss is normalDon't expect anything more or lessthan thisHave your faith butthen let chaos be

You kill me

TRAGEDY

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It's called narrowing your prioritiesAncients knewNowwellthat all depends

If you are living in a shacka hoarders paradisea wind-blownsuck festshelterblinded by super-fucking-stitionyou might believelife is betteron the other sideof the Yangtze

PRIORITIES

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On the richer handif you are a hoarderan ideologuea let-my-wife-decide-because-I-am-an-arse-with-my-foot-constantly-in-my-pie-holetypewith all the big white teeth moneyoh yesmoney can buyand your admonition tolet the oppressedladies enduretheir unfortunatecircumstancestrumps all-Buck up, girlsTough luck, girlsToo bad, girls-then let the fuck-yous roll'cause you are the scumyou rail against

You have abandonedclearprioritiesMother's sensibilitysomehowgot lost on youCome onEven duck mothersprioritiesblindly waddlingexpect the tailfollowersthe dependent youngthe ignorant

the instinct-drivengive-us-our-daily-breadneeders

If you want to make omeletsyou gotta break some headsbloodgutsbut noneof your ownLet it all roll out'cause let me tell you somethingYou haven't seen shituntil you seen shitrunning down the legof a senior citizenright down to the diabetic ankledown into the last sandaldown into mama's warning

You loved herbut her wisdom meant nothingYou believed herbut you drifted awayYou fed your familyand you forgot theFamily

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I am not a '59 ImpalaSome shake you down so fastyour fathered mindfreezes up

Imbecilic blonda lace untiedin your wing-tippedfantasytwisting curlsto wile the night away

NoI am just an actorthough you never waited for weeping

Atrocious waysled me throughWith each atrocity you mouthedthe vapored wordsI don't want to fightOnly to remainon top

MAD MEN

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4

DESPAIR

Nothingnever mindsmart boy!Keep your mouth shut like Ace Hardware on Independence DaySometimes it's betterthan future regretsto just stay the shut fuck upLet angels finish your thoughtsout loud and proud in the out-sounding cloudswhere no danger firesyour flaming tongueinto oblivion'Cause hell yeah if you do itif you scream ityou foul-minded thingand try to make your pissed brain singso at least the purse-mouthed wonderingstop their obligatory finger-pointing

SOCIOPATH

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and leave us true spirits the fuck aloneyou alone will find you lostand perhaps never findyour way to us

What! is this? you may find yourself sayingThis cannot be!Don't try to cover it upYou tried beforeThe reality isthe bone is brokenthe brow is bentTry to deny and you'll be sent to the place where all liars gothe goddam zoneDon't even try to understand itJust mostly avoid itBy god your injurieswill otherwise become your regular lifeday in day outNights are longlong nightsyou fuckso don't don't even imagine

We truly righteous got your numberDon't try to changeWe got youYou're doomedyour mother tooand all your kinPocket kings will do you inGive up nowand hope to be sparedor otherwise sleep sound

Maybe your life will come aroundand in your dreamswe forgiveforgiveforgetand let you livea peaceful journeyus and you

Numbers forgive easierthan individualsSolive long without questionsand hope no one questionsWe all question whybut all short of sociopathy cryWill we be whole?Oh GodAlmightylet us be wholeYou?Yesme

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OopsAssholes aboundin the guise of fathersbrothersand execsand figures who can know

You have to sniff them outboyYou have to knowyou mustyou truly dowho to trust

It's a man's worldso watchthe hierarchywatch the sausageand how it's made

MEN

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OopsBullshit aboundsjust like the boo hoofuture seekersstalking the youngmeleeing the samelaying the blamefor old age nonsensicallosssquarely at the feetof the daft dancingcirclesaboundingjust like youthalway does

It's all right thereright in front of thenose your figuregave youNo one can blameor save yousave you and your noseboy

Grab your witsgrab your anklesgrab the assthat will save youSometimes a father's preferenceshines past your loveon to youluckyboy

Sniff though you maywho can saywhat figure

fatherbrotherexec mentorwill make you intohis own image

Oopsthe imageboy

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Just a somewhatlacking manhe's not been homesince he came home

Oho, brother!How long ya been back?Goodgood to see yaWe'd have gone ourselveswere it notfor thesebroken heartsDamned womenWhat idea do you haveto do with your explosiveself?The girls are nudeThe dreams are still

HOMELESS

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too realthe gunthe gun

The fisted skill still counts the wraparound as counting for powerGogonowyouunhappy since beforehigh school something of a hero

I remember youeven better thanyour kinyour likenessyour seeded spreadacross this countysomelike late dandelionsblown in intentionless upskirt windI even lusted oncefor your sisterlike every otherblathering hormoned buddy

Traitors to the causebark like sense-crazed dogschasing instinctual negotiationsbutlike alwaysyou miss the pointWe are all somebody's bitchsometime

Oh say itsay say it ain't so

Even if you're goodyou are bad One way leadsto anotherlove interestSympathetic pussykills just likeyour infantile rageand you are stillstillan ugly bastard

Chasing the straight and narrowis just too fucking straightwhen you've seen what you have seenDon't fool your fucked selfGet inget on with usYou'll never regretuntil you're sleepingon a park benchone nightdecades laterand thenhamaybenot even thenEvery parasite adaptsuntil the hostgives inWhat?When?

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What? you're still here?Hello, we thought you'd diedyears agoWe calledreallyWhere in hell were you?You dropped outor offhung upor complainedof painin some far offplace in your mindLordgood thing momhas passedShe'd be lostin grieffor our wretchedstanceWe tossed abranch in the direction of yourraving riverbut we sank toojust like the enemyyou thoughtwas fair gamebut ended up youMaybeyou'd alwayssecretly hopedyour facewould disappear

58

It's all because when Jack soaks themcoke smokes themtheir brains holler, hey!Shakespearehave you gone loony?Have you gone into way too many sunsets asking too few questions of how you became?Have you shot your wad into the wayfaring stranger's wish?

Come onmandudeyoget hiphepyepdo itJust come on through all this languid loss of dignityNobody will hold it against yereallyJust point the gun

STREETS

59

check the roundslaughand sayIt's just for fundon't ever take yourself way too seriouslyCome onyoreallyNobodyor at leastvery fewcareAsk Jesus on the dayNot too manyyoNot too very manynot on the dayLater? well, ok

King James came along they saysomewhere around Bill's forties and insistedHear yeone dayall ye wretchedwill feel better if you quote from the book that bears my name

Amazingyou will seeAll ye gangsif mom won't seegrandmoms willand theyand their bloodshot eyes tell you and allWe care

and might be the only onesyou can believeeven though given a righteous chancemoms will say

WellokThey will do their lost opportunity bestto sayHelp me pleaseHelp me to careMy sonmy daughter had nothing to do with thisbut being hereborn into some maniacal insanity

60

One prompt and I go byLeftLostPursue complete no matterWhatThe cost

It isn't fair that IRightWrongSurrender all the musterJust to belong

It can't be rightBut isn't wrongI know I loseEach time I leaveBut pleaseO pleaseJust let me go

The crime I do confessFeelThinkAspire through the eyesThat never blink

ONE PROMPT AND I GO BY

61

She gotThree shotsTonic ginDo her in

She lieFrench friesMore harmArtery swarm

Strange brewStagger shoes Fake smileBelies style

Rake coalManholesClaim blindPress rewind

SHE GOT

62

Just in case someone finds meSomeone seeks to come unbind meLong I'll hold

Cooler now, my heated pastSubsides so long as I can lastSo, long I'll hold

Forget it, I can't toe the lineI wish I had a bigger mindExpand whatever I've believedPast all that keeps me ever blind

Just in case someone lures meSomeone sick comes on to cure meLong, long I hold

HOLD

63

He don't knowHe just don't careHe don't believeHe debonairHe daily speakHe nightly retchHe never loseHe confident

No future pastNo pain too pureNo stable friendNo comfort sure

He live to fallHe die for careHe crystal ballIn rocking chairHe feign to gripHe fake a grinHe shush a lipTo devil wind

DEVIL WIND

64

If I leave to chance what ought to be slam dunkwhat chance is there really?We're sunk

I know it sounds too negative but I was therewhen Pearl harbor'dwhen Naga saki'dwhen people were Hitler'dand hungtarred faces slung to inside their helmetsburntcrushedscarred and feather'dThat shit hurtI'm sure

If you're going to insistthat all this angelic singingbecome part of the vocabularypart of the holy lexicon

SKULLDUGGERY (CANDOR)

65

thenpray tellwhere's the goddamned guaranteed halo?Whose ass is it, anyway?

It's called pre-emptive mother fuckerDon't even think to ask me whyI've lost before and I know how losing feelsGive me a heart attack and I'll say the same

Never ask a sleepwalker for truthWhen I'm gonethen you can question why'cause then I won't have to answer Then my ass will be covered in satin and wood

66

5

REFLECTION

Egos being what they've beenit's easy losing sightof whatever was in'cause it ain't necessarilyat this momentin

Remember the fightson the schoolyard corner?Someone was pissed'cause someone was pissedWe all thought it must be justifiedOtherwisewhy would anyone expose themselvesto such punishment?Is it the blood?Is it the fame?Is it just the bullshit reign?We didn't careWe just wanted the full fist plaster

EGO

68

Blast that fuckerto kingdom comeHe'll be all rightHe's his daddy's sonCome onDo it strong and long

Did you see the ringthe ring in the nose?Everyone knows if you finger that ringthe bull will followIf you look long enoughthe bull will comeeye to eyering to fingerComeYou won't be sorryCome alongYou won't be sorryCome along to utopiaDon't listen to reasonJust come along

OK, we need meatJust accept itthe fraythe dismaythe promise OKWe keep you runningWe keep you on courseGolf, NASCAR, derby horseMother told youyou're a loser of course

But pay no mindAdults are the real losersOf course

there's no apparent shamein killing progenyespecially if they threatenexistence

The young rattlersjust as strong as the venomthat soaks the reedsthe satinous saxesthat will lead to the other worldthe one you've seen beforewhen you looked for lovebut found only ego

It's not the young snakesin spite of prisoner wisdomIt's not the bite of the youngyou wackYou make it so difficult to reasonwith reasonable contemplationWe watch your facial gesturesyour ticksyour lack of ticksyour grinless grinsand we see you're fuckedYou lose'cause kids, old women, more downtrodden than youare your accusersyour you-have-no-excusers

The walls of my noseare linedlined with the lossof my youthWhere has it gone?

69

Old John Brown would bealive todayif he were not stillHe would so pontificateabout the virtuesthe clean possibilityof life on his path

Well, he seemed cleancoughing lessbefore the endbut less willingto dog-bone throwWho could blame him?The dogs increased

Weakness is as weakness doesthough sometimes though darknessis the color of the daynobody but nobodyever asked why

70

ManDon't lie to meYour raincoat will not protect youand by the wayblack robes are notthe clothes of the people

History showsit's not peoplewho know the bestpathespeciallywhen the pathis predrawnpredestined preordained like some prophecy like some unquestioned lawthat takes humanity down some dental plan

JUSTICE

71

that leaves your teethuncoveredexposedholy shit cavity riddenpoverty drivenGive me just one more caseof dry mouthfloss directed draftRinse please becauseit's feeling soso goodso refreshing

I huffand I puffbetter than anylocal fucking yocalthan some ego-rendering cocaine slave pussy

Maybe BuddhaChristBeethoven occupypeaceful mind

Maybe Little Big ManPink FloydKelly ChapmanBig titsBig disappointmentbut what funoh, mybutno comparisonto first love

So sorry butSheila reigns stillHope she reads thisone dayWe'll winkand rememberlipsfingerssun shinedforeheadsgrass coveredless profanethan dad's golf coursing buddieslookinglustinggawkingCan you imagine?I would be Sheila's fulfillmentminus dadand budsbuthorse's assadolescentand imaginedcompletionI losebecausethe more you playthe more you always lose

72

People dieChildren tooBlood is a reality

It runs from nosesIt runs from cuts It runs from life-giving channelsRivers of the stuffKeep Proud Mary rollin'

I bet John F never took a betagainst himselfLike RayHe was a thinker

I stand and cutI stand and vivifythe goneI stand They say nothin'But I listen stillI've been doin' itFor asdamnlong everas I rememberEach look at me and ask

MORTICIAN PLAYLIST

73

Are you the river?Are you the big wheel?

Holy shit!you areyou are itaren't youI was thinkingit was Andybut noyou are the big wheelturning

You proud thingHow'd you know?How'd you knowthat I am the big thing?How?

Well, let me tell youlet me tell you 'bout a girl I knowI doIhell yeahdoI do justlove her so

She's the oneShe's the very oneThat thoughAcross townI find and I take careand give such gratitudeShe is the oneOh yeah

But I'd be lyin'if I ignoredthe fatethat dogged megoddamndogged meuntil my dyin dayI'd be lyin'if I didn't say

I lie heredyin'to saylisten toWhat'd I Sayand never mindall the fraytoday

Looklook all you preacherslook all you priestslook all you never-do-wellsI count youamong manythat questionwhat smellsof ohnever mindI'm busy preparing the bodywhose soullefta long time agoit's been gonesince a long time ago

74

Fools die hardslow deathsIt's a rule of creationThe fathers of the tribesmoked wisely and saidwaxing cool is not the path of wisdom But there is that is let there be a clauseLet there be a fiduciary causethat heretofore allows For everyone agreeslearned or nothigh court or noa fool is a foolAnd his foolishness though it gains recognition

FOOLS DIE HARD

75

does not excusemoonlight crimewhereby the fool was surenobody sawThe fool's noblein his mind'scauseJust becauseThe sense of it allis crystal-behind-barsclearLet it be knownjust becauseyou believe you are smarter than a foolthere are no suchguarantees

May your gravestone never sayHere Lies a Fool

76

I didn't do it, I swear to youIt was not me but someone like meSomeone liked me and caused cruel abandonI don't know why 'cause I was not conscious about it

Shit

I was in a nether world searchingI wanted to discover the whereabouts of meSoI was lurkingBut not without a certain degree of maliceI admitBut please, have mercyI was not near any charged fencesI was not even close

ANDROGYNY

77

No, my guardian angel watched out for mewith one good eyeShe was like a black widow and cared onlyfor her progenySo she said and carefully crawledalong the silken threadsadoring the notice of the worldThe careful, digited, graceful leaninto the next stepmoved herand me

Oh, she thought of her fatherwho somehow survived his ownwidow watchAnd so she swoonedlike mothers do for sonswho look like fathersBrilliant boysPlease be strongDon't draw too much attentionwhen shouting, railing "I am not that, don't say it's true,sure, I love mother, and so, don't you?"

Sure, OK, but just wonder a bitWhat is this shit?Boys will be boysand girlslet boys be?Do you want me strongor feminine?Come on, make it upor shut it upI only want to bewhat comes naturally

78

These guys don't knowThey are Gene Hackmansbuilding houses in all seasonsmaking hay with scarred maidensThey are hardened in the ways of machoThey saywe deserve this and thatand claimHeywe are the reason for the hayWe make the corn growWe follow suit like the rows that nobodybut nobody questions

How, oh, how do the words flow?Like molasses or waterDown the blessed spoutDown the last lost routeof every questioned thoughtof every questioned talk about

UNFORGIVEN

79

the real lossnot the imagined

We are herenowand did not leaveor requestabsence because of lack of wanting toWe didwe did want tofind questions for allour answersCrazy as that may seemwe always have our dreamsthat sometimes have our besthearts in mind

80

Blessed are all y'all that got no money: the banks will give it back

Blessed are all y'all who lost kin 'cause of war: the gov'ment check is in the mail

Blessed are all y'all that just cannot submit to authority: prison waiteth

Blessed are all y'all homeless and desperate: the soup kitchen waiteth

Blessed are all y'all stray cat and dog lovers: you see they are like y'all

Blessed are all y'all full of cholesterol: if you can't afford medica-tion, you might see God sooner than later

Blessed are all y'all draft dodgers: you stuck around to have some kids

BEATITUDES

81

Blessed are all y'all that avoided high interest rates, somehow: like I said, the banks...

Blessed are y'all, when the rich say yer shit, and take what you ain't even gotand tell you, sick or not, compassion's got no chance, ferget it, 'cause we're the boss

Be happy, y'all!! we're Christ in three-piece suits, after all! Be happy!!Look at it this way, things may suck now, but hold on, y'allDon't be cynical, it gets better later, you'll seeIt's always this way, the way it was meant to beIf you don't believe in me, just ask historyAmen

82

Of all the regrettedtimes in lifewhen somebodysmarter than youflew above thefrayand saidseeI always do thisI always look for waysto look and snickerand get paidohso wellbutone day or manyregretthat my privileged waysmight prove lessinspired

THE ARTIST

83

than the wayI always aspired toflying as I mightabove the patterned fraybecauseI'm surethat my protectedpreservedguaranteed waywas assuredpreservedlike a mummy's womb

I wish I was free froma lack of pureinspirationI wish I was free froma giftof skillmy genes gave meat the expenseof pureunadulteratedunkempt waysof expressionpure ways of ahhwowholy ummmm

Don't worryyour workfinds sacredplacementin the minds

of your holyfansthe oohahsthe wowOzis youyou wizardof plentybe happydon''t try to pushthe curtainfurtherit's doneOK?

84

They always brought great joyaround this timethe bloomsthe deepsurreal colorslike another world informed the beautythey never asked for

That beauty iswhen unsolicited comesand sits upon the guiltless gazeEmily would have known itothers too, though I sit ignorantand play a simple drumwhile the bloom enchants

The heart is a pumping menaceto the naysayers that would bringnonsense to confound what true steppers bring to a dancethat liberates the color blind

FENDLERII

85

Forgive the harsh rhetoricthat sent the raged wishes that bring hot negativity Forill will for you is but shadowand we know what light you robso, you are done outbut back

SpringMay warmth and drybring the joy sourced broadened petalsand I revel in youlike always and before

Don't crypleaseYou disappointed but nowdon't cryI still see the beautythat was not enoughfor whatever reasonor causeor plural of eachto keep us other than apartand the colors echoin my aged consciousnessand I can stillfeeljoy

(for Karen)

86

When I look into the stolid face of my existence, The major seventh chords fly byLike Morricone scoresAnd suddenlywhispers of sentimentality pile the echoes highlike the twin towers that came tumbling downlike Old London Bridge

I was a boy when John was killed,The black boy sat on the stairs of the provincial school andin the second gradeweptMaybe his mother or his grandmother taught him thusthat, though white and IrishJohn cared

BLUE BOOMER

87

The good, the bad, and the oh so butt uglyall gun for powerbut from where does their claim to recognition come?Forget the message from on highThe mighty say and do not doThe meek inheritbut really, when?

Take the scenario of the intelligenttaking the scenario of the village idiotand pasting it on the media wallWho is the idiot?

Take the scenario of inequalitytaking aim but shooting wildWho is the wild?

LookI forgot but the main ideaholds trueYouyou know who deals the straight handDon't get testy so we all can sayPresident? are you bullshitting me?From the beginning of timeone face is publictwo or morecome ona reporter captures?

You shit in the woods like every bearbutdon't tell us your brandof toilet paper

and if you are playing smartyou huddle up with true loveyou embrace your true loveyou call and hold your true loveand there, there is peace

88

Where are youLove

I'm on the patiocovered during a rain that threatensto extinguishthe flame that keeps usalive

Where are youLove

I'm riding a dragonthat fears for its lifebut steers a coursethat defies the ages

Where are youLove

WHERE ARE YOU LOVE

89

I walk a trailthat trails a cavedarkbut shieldedfrom harmin every way

Where are you Love

I'm ladenwith the lightnessof love and levied with all that wholenessholds

90

The conscience archangel ringsbut hard listen is few and far

We loveWe thinkWe lustWe loseRegret reignsso trueWe fuckedany whoYou better fold tooKaty JaneLinda Sue

Later onsame stancecurve seekerromance reelsin

BOYHOOD

91

Protein waitresssmiles looseword rhythmstumblesso?Boys wondercould she be itHer horizontal smilebeguiles the bestvertical I know Please let mereciprocate

92

It's their birthrightyou knowthe kidsthe bornthey deserve by virtue of little human beingness

OhCatholic Godback me upI cross my heartdailyand keep faithaway from under the busSupport meLet me be superiorLike motherIt's only righteven thoughit was dadtaught me to drive

THE PATTERN

93

The children knowintuitivelythat our heritage demandsfather and motherBy godwe deserve by virtueWe deserve and by godwe demand our parentsbe woman and manbecause the worldthe universe set the patternlet the pattern bebecause our catholic godsays

You are rightYou are woman and manand I sayYou are rightcontriteLet your children berighteous as meMeI am the modelI

I pay my educatedforwardnessI pay my forward respectbutdon't mistakeI keep my feet plantedI keep my faith from the busand if you can't seethat I am rightthenI believeyou are lost

Don't lookDon't expect more from methan my superioritymy valuesmy, myoh my

94

When you add up all the heartachelet it showlet the unacknowledgableknowmy heart hurts

Hathat's easy to sayLove firstlook secondDon't worryIf it weren't for usyou'd be a staina lostlookinglover wannabeYou artistyou screaming let it beDon't cry nowDon't do itfool

PANACHE

95

Don't scream or I'll let the world knowI'll let the world know that you are itYou are the onethe strong oneLet it be the strong one me

96

How am I going to fix this?The whole discourse dividedbetween sense and real senseI don't mean to sound innocentor worseindigentbutwould someone please dare to share?

Not onenonot oneincluding myselfcan really sayThe stuff just rollsand takes no noticeof clarityandin factthumbs noseSome kind of arrogance, no?

CLARITY

97

The mind is a minefieldIt blows at the slightesttouchThe whimthe wind blowsandwithout restraintcan remove a limba heartanother mind

Well, there's a cynic in us allSolet us please assess

Traffic at duskin the big cityeven the smallbig cityruns the courseevolvedthe path that now predictably runs The head and tail lights show some stick close to the centerSome run 'round in circlesSome run right the hell outta townevery nightjust as fast as they ran in

Some nightsthe sense seems rightOthers, wellmaybe comfort will jump from a ticking clockand one time in the not too farthe unbelievable pressurewill help the confusion

The most difficult to understandwill come come clear to the mindor elseI might have to fix itagain

98

Vegetable glueIt holds So trueBut there's no guarantee

Natural OKThe draw'sThe sayOr more so than the hold

Thicker smokeTells soNo tokeShould require harder draw

Bring it backCavern'd spaceFills lackWith blowing bless-ed O

RATING CIGAR

99

Eh uhI know this thingwe did beforeI justlost interestSo did youLet's say helloand let what fliesdo it away

Eh uhThis thing we didreworked the waywe thoughtofourselves

EH UH

100

Ourselves oh uhWe tried it oncetripped alongAlong the way the upper fellthe bottom tooPicked up ourselves to say hello

Eh uhI know this thingwe did beforeI justlost interestSo did youLet's say helloand let what fliesdo it away

101

A person changesif they wantWe are not treesrooted in some beneficiary peatthinking the skydetermines us

A person changes when they wantCircumstancestry to ruleand may succeedin a toiled mindto end all hope

A person changeswhen they have toThe survival of the shitonly happens when

DYSFUNCTION

102

the shit seemsthe better pathwhen the skyand earthapparentlydid not supplythe needed nutrients

And sometimesthere is no reasonother than compassion fora person

And sometimesthere is no reasonother thanan aloofnon gratiskick in the assto rhyme withthe compassion

And sometimessometimessometimesthere is no reasonno, none at allno, none at all

103

Jaco, you posed a simple questionWhen you burned so brightBut I think we could not hear youGood ears ne'r equal good sight

Oh my god, if what you are asking is realMy instinct is to run'Cause self confrontation Is not exactly job one

No, not in my book of twelve stepsMinus one or twoIs there mention of self reflectionOops, maybe that's not true

But hey, I might be wrongBut at lease I'm bigAnd that must carry some weightBefore I renege

JACO

104

I lurk, unsettled, in a lairMy evil mind, villain's invernessMy thoughts do hereby innocence caress You man or child, I do not care

Inhale your being, my deep desireDevour you void, beyond the least of lessLeave impossible a chance redress The ash of scream-ed, gun-shatter'd mire

A night, a tragedy would least expectA dozen, more fall to the theater floorI cannot laugh, my lungs are way too soreFrom fibrillating heart to self correct

Don't weep or pity all that I've becomeBeware the lair of hatred to succumb

DARK KNIGHT

105

Loss, like an illusion counted hardDrifts aimless, concentrated in the soulBe strong, the cry seeks sentimental goalBefore true reason cries inept canard

Count the drops upon the cold schoolyardWinter's worse deciphering bullet holesBut clear blue skies make easy flight for soulsSo long as grief denies not death's reward

Lord, lord I know it's hard, it's always beenTo count the symbol'd hooded innocenceAmong corrupted criminal offenseWhat, bottom line, is only youthful sin

Oh, what do I care but gamble poet's whimAnd share with losers faced with sink or swim

TRAYVON

106

T'was when youth spoke and somehow prospered wellDefied the Capulets and MontaguesDeposits, rent, could not dispel the spellStood firm their vow, and loving life did choose

"Can't be," the voice of ages still insists,"Don't be stupid, life is not this way.""Oh, yes, yes, yes, we beat the odds and twistsAnd still we love and all the bills we pay!"

T'was then the fixed paradigm did shiftFor youth, love, work and wisdom coalescedIgnored the poo, poo, poo and found a giftWe'll struggle on, the primitive attest

Don't call it Disney when sincerest climbAnd see green grow above the timber line

TURN

107

I'm bleeding Who's responsible for that What exactly are you staring atI'm not Catholic but I like the beading There's comfort there, safety in numbers Bevy of blunders I still bleed Blood isn't always a sign The stature of man is in decline Respect the process, thereby the many feed Take, eat, fear not, the end comes for all Man and animal Was a time, red men with sacred buffalo conspired Even, sacrificial trade, the holy pact required

BLOOD SONNET

108

Exalt the true, the positive Let joy rise and reign No thoughts constrain So love lives Empty the mind, comes peacefulness Render breathing still Sing self good will Heart caress Though swine prevail, beware the dove's Sweetest promises Which more or less Proclaim love Go round di'logue, go round psyche Dispassion holds the handcuff key

ELIXIR

109

Accordion, The 8Androgyny 77Artist, The 83Beatitudes 81Bells, The 45Blood 108Blue Boomer 87Boyhood 91Clarity 97Dark Knight 105Devil Wind 64Dysfunction 102Ego 68Eh Uh 100Elixir 109Enid 4Fairy Tale 6Fall 29Fendlerii 85Fools Die Hard 75Hold 63Homeless 56Ice Harvest 21Igor 13Jaco 104Just As Soon As 25Justice 71Let Be 17Lone Prairie, The 7Mad Men 50Men 54Mortician Playlist 73

Oh 33Once More Around 38One Never Knows 27One Prompt and I Go By 61Panache 95Pattern, The 93Phantom Pain 41Pipes, The 2Priorities 48Profanity 11Push 15Rating Cigar 99River, The 24She Got 62Skullduggery (Candor) 65Slice 43Sociopath 52Soul 35Streets 59Surrender 22Surrogate, The 10Theft 31Tragedy 47Trayvon 106Turn 107Unforgiven 79Warrior 19Where Are You 89

110

INDEX

INDEX OF FIRST AND LAST LINES

A person changes if they want Dysfunction 102All my life there have been Let Be 17and I can still feel joy Fendlerii 85and push again Push 15And see green grow above the timber line Turn 107And share with losers faced with sink or swim Trayvon 106And that must carry some weight, Before I renege Jaco 104and there, there is peace Blue Boomer 87Aspire through the eyes that never blink One Prompt and I Go By 61beauty is all you have left Oh 33because I stole the bells? The Bells 45Beware the lair of hatred to succumb Dark Knight 105Black, white, the colored language Soul 35Blessed are all y'all that got no money Beatitudes 81born into some maniacal insanity Streets 59but the waves swim truer than we Just As Soon As 25cause then we know soul Soul 35Claim blind, press rewind She Got 62Deceive my dream and love does life construe Surrender 22Dispassion holds the handcuff key Elixir 109Don't lie or think that I can never see Surrender 22Don't make us laugh Push 15don't try to push the curtain further, it's done, OK? The Artist 83down by the river The River 24dreams that sometimes have our best hearts in mind Unforgiven 79Egos being what they've been Ego 68Eh uh, I know this thing we did before Eh Uh 100Even, sacrificial trade, the holy pact required Blood 108Exalt the true, the positive Elixir 109expect the river The River 24Fills lack With blowing, blessed O Rating Cigar 99Fools die hard, slow deaths Fools Die Hard 75For grieving just how gone she really was The Surrogate 10Fucker could sure write Warrior 19Godfather's approves this message Phantom Pain 41He didn't know it Profanity 11He don't know, he just don’t care Devil Wind 64He shush a lip to devil wind Devil Wind 64Heeee, Oh the lot, the spot Oh 33Her head have every hair Fairy Tale 6Here lies a fool Fools Die Hard 75How am I going to fix this? Clarity 97How could God? Tragedy 47I am not a '59 Impala Mad Men 50I didn't do it, I swear to you Androgyny 77I feed imagination The Accordion 8I have this memory The Accordion 8I lurk, unsettled, in a lair Dark Knight 105I might have to fix it again Clarity 97I might say you inspired me Ice Harvest 23I only want to be what comes naturally Androgyny 77If I leave to chance what ought to be slam dunk Skullduggery (Candor) 65If you don't believe in me, just ask history, Amen Beatitudes 81Igor, please Igor 13

111

I'm bleeding, who's responsible that Blood 108in a way, thanks Igor 13It's all because when Jack soaks them Streets 59it's been gone since a long time ago Mortician Playlist 73It's their birthright, you know The Pattern 93Jaco, you posed a simple question Jaco 104Just a somewhat lacking man Homeless 56Just as soon as the coast is clear Just As Soon As 25Just in case someone finds me Hold 63just like the spindled 45s Fall 29Let air reign The Pipes 2Let it be the strong one, me Panache 95Let you be? Let Be 17Let's say hello and let what flies do it away Eh Uh 100levied with all that wholeness holds Where Are You 89Long, long I hold Hold 63Loss, like and illusion counted hard Trayvon 106Man, don't lie to me Justice 71Man, I can't believe exists a twilight zone The Surrogate 10Maybe you'd always secretly hoped your face would disappear Homeless 56My ass will be covered in satin and wood Skullduggery (Candor) 65my, my, oh my The Pattern 93No, so, yes Theft 31nobody but nobody ever asked why Ego 68not without scars Enid 4nothing dizzying will keep us from the matter most Warrior 19Nothing, never mind, smart boy Sociopath 52Of all the regretted times in life The Artist 83One never knows One Never Knows 30One prompt and I go by One Prompt and I Go By 61Only to remain on top Mad Men 50Oops, assholes abound Men 54Oops, the image, boy Men 54People die, children too Mortician Playlist 73Peter, ten to twenty Theft 31please leave my coat alone Slice 43Please let me reciprocate Boyhood 91screamed the way to existence Profanity 11She got three shots She Got 62Solidarity, I am cynical to you Phantom Pain 41sometimes there is no reason, no, none at all Dysfunction 102Take your cares to the lone prairie Lone Prairie 7The back pops Fall 29The conscience archangel rings but hard listen is few and far Boyhood 91The liquor flowed like hot words Slice 43the more you play, the more you always lose Justice 71The pipes, the impure body The Pipes 2Theft! Good god! The Bells 45Their wings are wax and feathers too Ice Harvest 21there hereby exists a grand poobah One Never Knows 27There is no greater struggle Enid 4These guys don't know Unforgiven 79They always brought great joy arpund this time Fendlerii 85This is the only way Lone Prairie 7T'was when youth spoke and somehow prospered well Turn 107Vegetable glue, it holds so true Rating Cigar 99Well, my heart is a whiskey barrel Fairy Tale 6When I look into the stolid face of my existence Blue Boomer 87When you add up all the heartache Panache 95Where are you, love Where Are You 89You kill me Tragedy 47You? Yes me Sociopath 52

112

113

Vance Dean Moulton was born in Enid, Oklahoma, to Mona Ophelia (née Baker), amateur pianist, singer and dancer, and Vance Carroll Moulton, a third generation grocer. He holds degrees in music from Colorado College, Syracuse University, and the University of Miami, and soon enters his 15th year as music teacher for Miami-Dade County Public Schools, and adjunct faculty member in the music department of Miami-Dade College. He lives in Kendall with his wife and family.