Self-carestop, look, listen with your

heart- A padre’s perspective –

Rev. (Chaplain) Peter Devenish-MearesDeputy State Chaplain – St John Ambulance

To be the leading provider of first aid and related health services in Australia---------------------------------------------------How do we give expression to this daily?How do we rest and readying ourselves? (esp. when the going gets tough)

St John Ambulance Mission

• Collective Room Wisdom• Stories & Experience• Self-Care so to help with tiredness/ anxiety

• Not professional advice rather one chaplains perspective

…more

Change, Care and Compassion to Self

Burnout & workplace suffering

* Receives some attention why? e.g. 25% of health care professionals are disposed to burnout

da Silva and Menezes (2008)

* Burnout - Beck Hopelessness Scale: painful consequences; “negative attitudes about the future, hopelessness and loss of motivation”.

Pompili. Rinaldi, Lester, Girardi, Ruberto and Tatarelli (2006, p. 138)

Examples

• Sick family – & you are deploying• Restructure at work• Urgent executive meeting to prepare for - no time• Overwhelmed by a critical incident • Treating a chronically ill person • Too many work, volunteering & family demands• Doing one’s duty over a sustained period• taking on too much – not being able to say no!

Coping 1

Health & energy

Positive belief*the ability to cope is enhanced when people believe they can successfully bring about desired consequences

Problem-solving skills*having specific knowledge or abilities related to specific problem

1 Josee L Jarry, Stress and coping University of Toronto, October 28, 2002.

•  Fatigue (Chronic?)•Avoidance, withdrawal•Negative thinking, forgetfulness, irritability

•An assortment of stomach and other stress related ailments

Some Symptoms

What can I do?

What can we do?

Become aware -

sensations/signs

Decide on support • Medical

• Psychology• Spiritual

Act – reach out

Adapt & Review

A ‘personal’ inventory

What’s really going on at the moment?

• Body• Mind• Spirit

Tips - self-care & team-care co-operation*You can be a role model – help reduce the stigma – suggest rest!*Involve families as much as possible (watch confidentiality!!)*Be proactive – it’s a 2 way street*Passage of information – what is appropriate?*Ask your team leader*Being mindful of the individual current and optimal functioning*Understanding & supporting role delineation – home and work*Mental health literacy – being clear about mental health issues

If concerned – stop, ask, care

*Supportive counselling – confidence & competence

Remain connected to others*Ask*Be compassionate to self and others*Listen*Follow up*Leave no one behind!...and

How else do we get off or manage effects of the (so-called)

merry-go-round when it wont stop?

 

• How in the tempo of work, operations and life – juggling work and volunteering - do we notice our needs, those of others and take the personal and collective steps to support those who need to rest, restore, recover and (then) when refreshed get back out there?

A question for all of us – leader, volunteer, team

member…

personal reactions in a w orkplace setting

dem ands

reactions

needs suffering

calm objective

self-loving

Psychological Detachm ent

Hum ility

D etachm ent standing slightly

apart

Self-com passion

Self Compassion

* a relatively new body of literature which “acknowledges that suffering, failure and inadequacies are part of the human condition”

It is not about making excuses nor avoiding responsibility

Self Compassion

* Self-kindness – actively encouraged, in more spiritually-oriented ways to be kind to oneself and to keep things in perspective* Mindfulness - becomes more aware of needs, judgments and emotions at work* Common humanity – At work drawn fully into the life of the team which challenges and stretches us

Why self compassion?

* a spiritual practice may be a “useful means of achieving greater mental health for (those) suffering from a lack of self-compassion” (1)

* “perhaps the most promising aspect of self-compassion (is) its potential as a remediation tool for individuals who suffer from negative self-attitudes”.

1. Kristin Neff, Development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion, Self and Identity, 2003, Vol. 2, p. 245).

Less positive choices I'm disapproving and judgm ental about m y own flaws and inadequacies. W hen I'm feeling down I tend to obsess and fixate on everything that's wrong. W hen I think about m y inadequacies, it tends to m ake m e feel m ore separate and cut off from the rest of the world. W hen I fail at something im portant to me I becom e consum ed by feelings of inadequacy. W hen tim es are really difficult, I tend to be tough on m yself. I'm intolerant and im patient towards those aspects of m y personality I don't like. W hen I'm feeling down, I tend to feel like m ost other people are probably happier than I am. W hen I see aspects of m yself that I don't like, I get down on m yself. W hen I'm really struggling, I tend to feel like other people m ust be having an easier tim e of it. W hen som ething upsets m e I get carried away with m y feelings. I can be a bit cold-hearted towards m yself when I'm experiencing suffering. W hen som ething painful happens I tend to blow the incident out of proportion. W hen I fail at something that's im portant to m e, I tend to feel alone in m y failure.

Positive choices W hen things are going badly for m e, I see the difficulties as part of life that everyone goes through. I try to be loving towards m yself when I'm feeling em otional pain. W hen I'm down and out, I rem ind m yself that there are lots of other people in the world feeling like I am. W hen som ething upsets m e I try to keep m y em otions in balance. W hen I feel inadequate in some way, I try to rem ind m yself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by m ost people. W hen I'm going through a very hard tim e, I give m yself the caring and tenderness I need. W hen som ething painful happens I try to take a balanced view of the situation. I try to see m y failings as part of the hum an condition. W hen I fail at something important to me I try to keep things in perspective. I'm kind to m yself when I'm experiencing suffering. W hen I'm feeling down I try to approach m y feelings with curiosity and openness. I'm tolerant of m y own flaws and inadequacies. I try to be understanding and patient towards those aspects of m y personality I don't like.

Chaplaincy perspectives

Scripture says

*We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; * perplexed, but not in despair; * persecuted, but not abandoned; * struck down, but not destroyed. *Does this sound like a work day or week you’ve had?

Honesty: Say what you mean, mean what you say. There is greater soul in honestly facing painful situations. Look fearlessly within.

STOP, REST and ADJUST

Respect for Self & Others: Balance both. Take Responsibility. Learn boundaries. Have empathy and self-protection. Do not be either too self effacing or too narcissistic.

Make Agreements That Work: I will get help

Pastorally there’s another way

 

• So…..sometimes community service is like drinking out of fire hydrant

• How do we maintain our stability? Rest !

• Our best selves to grow strong• We are asked for many things

Jesus rested

 “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to

eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some

rest.” (Mk 6:31) NIV

 

 

• Be active - honour ourselves• Take care of ourselves – rest, sit, treats

• Mediate/Pray• Be adventuresome • Do one enjoyable thing each day   

IdeasWe are human – feel, pray, rest,

talk, play….

 

 

•Live one day at a time - this may mean getting use to “not knowing” and holding some things less tightly

•Inform yourself - perhaps as an information seeker if there is more information that could help??

•Ask for support•Make time for solitude – quiet time perhaps•Ritualise newness – let go, celebrate, say “goodbye”, perhaps hold an event, write something

   

IdeasWe are human – feel, pray, rest,

talk, play….