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Psychology,Theology,andSpiritualityinChristianCounseling

Copyright©1996,2011byMarkR.McMinn.Allrightsreserved.

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Unlessotherwiseindicated,allScripturequotationsaretakenfromtheNewRevisedStandardVersionBible,copyright©1989,DivisionofChristianEducationoftheNationalCounciloftheChurchesofChristintheUnitedStatesofAmerica.Usedbypermission.Allrightsreserved.

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LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData

McMinn,MarkR.

Psychology,theology,andspiritualityinChristiancounseling/MarkR.McMinn.

p.cm.

Includesbibliographicalreferences.

ISBN978-0-8423-5252(alk.paper)

1.Pastoralcounseling.2.Psychologyandreligion.I.Title.

BV4012.2.M261996

253.5′2—dc2096-12604

Repackage/revisionfirstpublishedin2011underISBN978-0-8423-5252-9.

DedicatedtoChristiancounselors—Maywegrowindepthaswegrowinnumbers.

TableofContents

ForewordAcknowledgmentsIntroduction

Chapter1:ReligionintheCounselingOffice

Chapter2:TowardPsychologicalandSpiritualHealth

Chapter3:Prayer

Chapter4:Scripture

Chapter5:Sin

Chapter6:Confession

Chapter7:Forgiveness

Chapter8:Redemption

ConclusionBibliographyAbouttheAuthorNotes

ForewordSeveralyearsagoIwasinvitedtoteachagraduatecoursetitledMethodsandModelsofIntegration.ThecoursewasintendedtoteachwaysthatbringtherapyandtheChristianfaithtogether.It’satopicthatinterestsme,butalmostimmediately,Isaidnototheoffer.

Ihavetaughtanumberofcourseslikethis,andeverytimethestudentssignupexpectingalistoftechniquesandtheoriesthatwillgiveaneatformulaforbringingtheirfaithintothecounselingroomwithoutviolatinganyprofessionalethics.Itwaseasytounderstandtheirdesiresforsimplemethods.Mostofthosestudentsarebeginnerswhentheytakethecourse,maybealittleanxiousabouttheiremergingcounselingcareers,lookingforeasilyappliedhow-to-do-itrecipesforcounseling.Intime,mostlearnthatitisn’trealistictomemorizethedetailsofdifferenttheoriesofintegration(includingsomethatareoldandoutdated),selectone,andexpectthatthiscanapplytodiverse,tech-savvyclientswholiveinarapidlychanging,postmodern,multiculturalworld.

Ahalfhourafterdecliningtheoffertoteach,however,Ichangedmymind,swayed,perhaps,bytheacademicdean’spersuasivearguments.IyieldedbecauseIwasgivenfreedomtochoosethetextbooksandshapetheintegrationcourseinnontraditionalways.Overtheyearsmyclasseshaveincludedaconsiderationofleadership,becauseIlikestudentstoseethatcounselorsandothercaregiversneedtobeleaders.WehavefocusedonthecharacteristicsofChristiancaregivers,evaluatedhowemergingsocialtrendsshapeclientproblemsandformsoftherapy,thenconsideredchangeandhowitoccursormeetsresistance.Theclasseshaveincludeddiscussionsoftheroleoftheologyandbiblicalstudies,evaluatedhowthechurchischanging,andlookedatpracticalexamplesofbringingfaithandtherapytogether,bothinChristiancounselingcentersandinsecularenvironmentswherethenameofJesuscan’tbementioned.Mostimportant,perhaps,weconsideredtheroleofprayer,Scripture,sin,forgiveness,theHolySpirit’sguidance,andspiritualdisciplinesastheyshapethecounselor,thecounseling,andthecounselee.Tomysurprisetheseclasseshavebeenchallenging,atleasttome,andhereIam,stillteachingthecoursethatIinitiallyresistedsoadamantly.

I’veusedanumberoftextbooksintheseclasses,butonlyonehasbroughtforthcontinuousstudententhusiasmandpraise.Youwon’tbesurprisedthatit’sMarkMcMinn’sPsychology,Theology,andSpiritualityinChristianCounseling.Dr.McMinnisaresearcher,anauthor,ateacher,anacademician,andahighlycompetentclinician.Greatlyadmiredandgenuinelylikedbyhisstudentsandcolleagues,MarkisadevotedfollowerofJesusChrist.Hehasagentlespiritandreflectstheweavingtogetherofpsychology,theology,andspiritualityinhislifeandinhiscounseling.Inthefollowingpagestheauthordrawsfromhisreadingandhisextensiveexperiencesworkingwithstudentsandpastorsaswellas

counselingclients.Theresultisarealistic,sensitive,practicalapproachtohistopic,writtenwithgrace,humility,andawillingnesstotackledifficultissues.Hisupdatestothesechaptersenableustoprofitfromtheinfluenceofmore-recentprofessionalandresearchtrends,evenasweareabletoreadtheoriginalmanuscriptthatcontinuestobesowellreceived.

IhaveknownMarkMcMinnformanyyears,havegrownfrommyinteractionswithhim,andhavewatchedhimmatureasawriterandasaprofessionalcounselor.Ifmymemoryiscorrect,IplayedaroleinencouragingMarkashecontemplatedandthenwrotethisbook.ManyothercapableandadmirablewritershaveshapedourthinkingaboutChristianityandcounseling,butIcan’tthinkofanypersonwhosurpassesDr.McMinninhisknowledgeandabilitytoleadinthisprocess.

I’mnotsureifIwillcontinueteachingthat“methodsandmodels”course,butofthisIamsure:ifIcontinue,thisbookwillbethecoretext.Itisworthreadingbyanyofuswhowanttobegrowing,capablecounselors,skilledinbringingourfaithandourcaregivingtogether.Youwillbestimulatedandencouragedbywhatyouread—awell-testedbookwrittenbyahighlycapable,sensitiveChristiancounselingleader.

GaryR.Collins

AcknowledgmentsTheideaforthisbookstartedwhenIcouldnotfindatextforaReligiousIssuesinPsychotherapyclassIwasteachingatGeorgeFoxCollege.Studentsinthatclasshelpedmedevelopandrefinemanyoftheideaswrittenhere.Similarly,mystudentsatWheatonCollegehelpedmethinkcarefullyabouttheintegrationtasksweconfrontinthecounselingoffice.Iamparticularlygratefulforthehelpofmytwograduate-studentassistants,JohnD.ScanishandKatherynRhoadsMeek.Theyeachspentmanyhourshelpingmecollectmaterialsforthisbook.Inadditiontohelpingwithbackgroundresearch,Kathy’sconceptualandliterarycontributionstochapter7wereespeciallyhelpfulandimportant.1

Severalhavehelpedwithmyrelativelyrecentinterestinspiritualformation.Dr.JimWilhoitmademanyimportantcontributionstochapter1andtaughtthespiritualityclassatWheatonCollegethatchangedmylifein1993.2Mywife,Dr.LisaMcMinn,hasencouragedmeinthespiritualdisciplinesbyherexampleandwordsofsupport.Anumberofcontemporaryauthors,especiallyRichardFosterandDallasWillard,haveusheredmealongthisspiritualjourneywiththeirinsightfulbooks.

Dr.GaryCollins,presidentoftheAmericanAssociationofChristianCounselors,hasencouragedmywritinginrecentyears.Moreimportant,hemodelsChristianintegritywithhisquietcommitmenttoservingothers,usuallyinwaysthatbringnorecognitionorcredit.Ms.JoyceFarrell,myliteraryagent,shareshergiftofencouragementandtheexpertisethatcomesfrommanyyearsofworkinginpublishing.Finally,LynnVanderzalmandothersontheeditorialstaffatTyndaleHousePublishershavebeenwonderfulineveryway:technicallyexcellent,pleasant,encouraging,andministryfocused.

Introduction

AViewfrom2011Lifecantakeyourbreathaway.SometimesithappenswhensurroundedwiththeawesomenessofGod’screation—walkinginthewoods,ponderingagorgeoussunset,watchinganoceanwavecrashagainstarockyshore.Butsometimesitcomesmorelikeakickinthegut,whenyoucanbarelybreatheforthepainthatsuffocatesyou.WhenIwrotethisbookinthemid-1990s,lifehadstolenmybreathinbothways.

Thekickinthegutcamefromextended-familydrama.I’llsparethegruesomedetails,butitinvolvedmyparentsdivorcingafterfortyyearsofmarriage,myfatherspendingtimeinjail,humiliatingmediacoverage,andmore.LisaandIandourthreedaughtershadmovedfromOregontoIllinoisshortlybeforethedramastarted,whichleftushelplesslyfarawayfromourhomestateofOregon,wherepainengulfedpeoplewelove.

Iwonderifbeautyismorestrikinginthemidstofpain.Itseemedsothen.DuringmyfirstsemesterasafacultymemberatWheatonCollegeIsatinonaspiritual-formationcoursetaughtbyDr.JamesWilhoit.There,amongacohortoffirst-yeardoctoralstudents,IwasusheredbyJimintoadeeperexperienceofthespirituallifethanIhadknownbefore.Again,I’llskipmostofthedetails,buttheexcitingpartinvolvedlearningaboutprayer.Iwon’tsayIlearnedtopray,becausethiswasn’tsomuchaboutmeasitwasaboutGod.PerhapsIsimplylearnedhowtobepresentamidGod’smovementofgraceinourbrokenworldandinmybrokenlife.ForfouryearsIfoundnogreaterjoythantimesofprivateprayer.EarlyeverymorningIdescendedtoabasementroomandencounteredGodinthequietofanewday.Itwasbreathtakingforme,perhapsthedeepestbeautyIhaveeverknown.Andafterthosesweettimesofprayer,mostdaysIremainedinthatbasementroomtoworkonamanuscriptwhoseworkingtitleInolongerremember.TyndaleultimatelyrecommendedIcallitPsychology,Theology,andSpiritualityinChristianCounseling.

BackthenIreadthespiritualclassicsfromcenturiespast,notinghowgiantsofthefaithpredictedthatspiritual“honeymoon”periodswereinevitablyfollowedbytimesinthedesert.Naively,Iassumeditwouldn’tapplytome.Itdid.Myspirituallifetodayseemsdownrightboringcomparedwiththoseyearsinthemid-1990s.Still,theseyearsinthedeserthavebeengood.Iamlearningtheimportanceofdeeproots.Thespiritualwonderyearswereamazing,andIremaindeeplygratefulforthem,buttheyearssincehavetaughtmethatGod’sgraceispresentineverymoment,whetherIfeelasenseofspiritualecstasyornot.

RevisitingThisBookMostbooksdienaturaldeathswithinadecade,butthisonejustkeepsliving.Isometimescallitthebookthatwon’tdie.Don’tgetmewrong;I’mgratefulitisstillalive,andforthemostpart,IampleasedwithwhatIwroteasathirty-six-andthirty-seven-year-oldinthatbasementroom.Now,asamanpassingmiddleage,Iamprivilegedtorevisitthisbookandofferanupdatedperspective.

ForatimeIconsideredrevisingthemanuscript,rewritingeachchapter.ButafteradiscussionwiththefolksatTyndale,weagreedthatwerecognizeenduringvalueinthewordswrittenallthoseyearsago.Peoplestillfindthemuseful,soIwillleavethemalone.Nonetheless,thingschangeinadecadeandahalf,sosomesortofupdateisinorder.Whatwehavedecidedtodoisappendanupdate,titled“UponReflection,”toeachchapter.

InthesechapterupdatesIhopetoaccomplishthreethings.First,IattempttounderscoretheimportanceoftheologyforChristiancounselors.Second,Iintroducereaderstoupdatesinthepsychologyliterature.Third,Imentor.

TheImportanceofTheologyWhenIfirstwrotethisbook,Iwasimmersedinamovementknownastheintegrationofpsychologyandtheology.BeingthefirstprofessorhiredforthenewdoctoralprograminclinicalpsychologyatWheatonCollege,Icareddeeplyaboutwhatwesimplyreferredtoas“integration.”Butittroubledmethatintegrationseemedsocognitive.Bothpsychologyandtheologycanbefairlywellrepresentedinessayandmultiple-choiceexams,butwhatIexperiencedinthatbasementroomcannot.Weweremissingacriticalingredientinourintegrationconversationsbackthen:moreemphasisonspiritualformation.Ifcounselorsaretheprimarytoolsofchangeinthecounselingoffice,thencharactermatters,andsodoesspiritualformation.Inthisbook,Iemphasizedspiritualformationasathirdingredienttoourintegrationconversations.

I’mthankfulthatwearenowseeinggreateremphasisonspiritualitythanwedidagenerationago.Spiritual-formationbooksandseminarshaveexploded,andevenintheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation—whichImustcallseculardespitethefactthatIdon’tlikethewordsecularverymuch—spiritualityisahottopic.Whetherornotthisbookplayedaroleinthisshiftisnotasimportantastheshiftitself.IamgratefultoseeChristiancounselorsthinkingmoreandmoreaboutspiritualformation.

Butchangebringsloss,andIfearthatthismovementtowardanexperientialspiritualityhasleftagapinthetheologicaltrainingofmanyifnotmostChristiancounselors.TodayweseemoreinterestinstoriesoffaithandfreshexperiencesofgracethaninthedeeplyrootedtenetsoftheChristianfaith.Ifthistimeinthedeserthaspreparedmeforanything,itistoofferapropheticvoiceabouttheimportanceofsoundtheologyinChristiancounseling.Ifwe

neglectourtheologicalheritage,wewillloseourway.

PsychologyUpdatesPsychologyisasocialscience,andlikeallsciences,itmovesquitequickly.Thestudiesthatwerecurrentin1996arenowold,maybeevenancient.Theforgivenesschapter,forexample,waswrittenwithoutthebenefitofmorethanonethousandscientificarticlesonforgivenesspublishedsincethisbookwasfirstreleased.IneachoftheupdatesIwillintroducereaderstosomeofthenewertrendsinpsychologyresearch.Theupdatesarebrief,soIcan’tpossiblybeexhaustive,butIpointreadersintherightdirectionandoffersuggestionsforadditionalreading.

MentoringSpendingeighteenyearsindoctoraleducationhasconvincedmeofthepowerofmentoring.AsstudentsandIresearchandwritetogether,wegettoknowoneanother,andsomeimportantsortofchangeoccursthattranscendswhathappensintheclassroom.Itis—somehow—psychology,theology,andspiritualityinaction.Mentoringisnotpurealtruism.Ienjoyitagreatdeal,anditalsohelpsmeproducebetterwork.Twoheads,orthreeorfour,reallyarebetterthanone.StudentsoftenbringfreshperspectivesthatImayhavelostinthesegoodyearsofliving.Attheendofeachchapterupdateisabriefparagraphofacknowledgment,thankingthedoctoralstudentwhoworkedwithmeinpreparingthatupdate.ThestudentsaremembersofmyresearchteamatGeorgeFox.Iamgratefulfortheirhelp.

Ihopethesewords,emergingfromconversationsbetweendoctoralstudentsandme,mayalsolendthemselvestobroaderconversation.Asyoureadthisbook,youmightimaginesittingataconferencetablewithadoctoralstudentandme,ponderingwhatitmeanstobeaChristianwhocaresaboutcounselingandmentalhealth.Attheendofthe1996introduction,Iinvitedreaderstosharetheirthoughtswithme.Manyhave,mostlybye-mail,whichseemedlikeamarvelousnewinventionbackinthosedays.Ihavebeenblessedbytheirideas.NowwehaveFacebook,whichmakesiteveneasiertostayconnectedwithoneanother.AgainIinviteyourthoughts,andIwelcomeconversation.

Lifestilltakesmybreathaway,thoughnotveryoftenasakickinthegut.MostlyIliveinastateofamazementandgratitudeinthebeautyofGod’sgoodcreation.LisaandIliveonfiveacresinruralOregon,wherewetendhoneybeesandchickensandgrowallsortsoffruitsandvegetables.WecallourplaceFernCreekratherthan“ourproperty,”knowingthatitbelongstothedeerandchipmunksandoaktreesasmuchasitbelongstous.And,ofcourse,itallbelongstoGodfirst.Sodothepagesofthisbook.MayGod’sgracebeevidenthere.

MarkR.McMinnNewberg,Oregon

OriginalThoughtsfrom1996Thisisabookabouttwosecretplacesincounselors’lives.First,itisabookaboutwhathappensbehindthecloseddoorsofcounselingoffices.Overthepastfewdecades,Christianpsychologistsandcounselorshavemadegreatprogressinreunitingthedisciplinesoftheologyandpsychologyaftertheyweretornapartbyantireligionpsychologistsandantipsychologyreligiousleadersearlyinthetwentiethcentury,butthisprogressisoftendifficulttotranslateintospecificcounselingstrategies.Toooftenthebestacademicbooksandarticlesaboutintegrationarefilledwithintriguingideasandmodelsbutdonotpracticallyaddresshowweoughttobeintegratingtheminthecounselingoffice.ThoughIalsodosometheoreticalponderingandmodelbuilding(chapters1and2)inordertoprovideacontextforsubsequentchapters,Ihavedevotedthelargestportionofthisbook(chapters3through8)tothequestionsweconfrontwhensittingface-to-facewithourclients.Isitwisetopraywiththisclient?UnderwhatcircumstancesshouldIuseScripturememoryaspartofcounseling?Whatistheproperroleofconfessioninthetherapyprocess?Isforgivenessareasonablegoalinthissituation?ThesearethekindsofpracticalquestionsIponderedindevelopingthisbook.

Second,thisisabookaboutthesecretspirituallifeofChristiancounselors.Throughoutmyyearsofprofessionalwork,Ihavebecomeincreasinglyconvincedthatthevalueofcounselinginterventionsisfoundlessinone’stechnicaltrainingandtheoreticalorientationthaninone’scharacter.Atfirstthismayseemdiscouragingbecausemostofusstrugglewithnaggingcharacterflawsandbecauseweareunsurehowtotrainourselvesinmattersofcharacter.Butaswearedrawndeeperintothespirituallife,werecognizethatitisnotmerelyourflawedcharacterthatwebringintointeractionswithothers;itisdivinecharacterrevealedthroughus.Furthermore,welearntrainingmethodsandspiritualdisciplinesthatgraduallytransformusandmakeusmorelikelytoreflectthehumility,compassion,forgiveness,andredemptivecapacitythatwefindinChrist.

Ialsoneedtoofferadisclaimerinthisbook.Themethodologyofthisbookisintegration,notexhaustivereview.EvenifIwerequalifiedtowriteacomprehensivebookabouttheologyorspirituality,Iwouldbeleftwiththequestionsofwhichtheologyandwhichspiritualitytoreview.TheambitioustitleofthisbookismeanttoreflecttheintegrationtaskIamundertakingbybringingspirituality,aswellaspsychologyandtheology,intotheChristiancounselingoffice.Thus,mychaptersreflectarelativelythinsliceoftheologyintheReformedtradition,aneventhinnersliceofspiritualitythatisconsistentwithevangelicalChristianity,andasomewhatbroaderlookatpsychology.ThegoalofeachchapteristobringthesethreetogetherforChristiancounselors.IntegrationisacommunityprocessthatcallsChristiancounselorsfromallovertheworldtoworktogether.

MarkR.McMinnNewberg,Oregon

1

ReligionintheCounselingOfficewrittenwithJamesC.Wilhoit

Afterlyingawakeinbedforseveralhours,asshedoesmostmornings,Jilldragshertiredbodydownstairs,startsthecoffeemaker,plopstheYellowPagesonthekitchencounter,and“letsherfingersdothewalking”toCounselors.Jillknowssheisdepressed,overwhelmedwithfeelingsofguiltandinadequacy,andsheknowssheneedshelp.Butsheworriesaboutfindingtherightcounselor,recognizingthatherchoicecouldhaveprofoundimplicationsonherspirituallife.

CounselorAmighttellJillthatherdepressionisworsenedbyhersillyreligiousideas.Whatshereallyneeds,accordingtothiscounselor,istothinkclearlyandlogicallyabouttheworld,relaxherneuroticdemandsforperfection,andbeginfindingwaystoenjoylife.CounselorAtellsJillthatassoonasshegrowsbeyondherreligiousfaith,shewillbewell.

CounselorBismoreinterestedinlisteningthanintellingJillwhattodo.Jill’sreligiousvalueshavemeaningforher,soCounselorBlistensandrespondstoJillempathetically:“Yourreligiousvaluesseemveryimportanttoyou.Itsoundsasifyouwanttodotherightthing,butyou’renotalwayssurewhattherightthingis.WhatIhearyousayingisthatyouwantGodtohelpyouthroughthisdifficulttimeinyourlife.”ThiscounselorassumesthatJillneedsasupportivecompanionoratransitionalobjecttohelpherlearnnewwaysofrelatingtoothersandherself.Religioncanbediscussedintherapy,butthepowerofchangeisfoundinthetherapeuticrelationship.

CounselorCtellsJillthatdepressionresultsfrompersonalsin.ShefeelsguiltybecauseGodhasgivenusallthegiftofguiltsothatweremembertoconfessoursinsanddependmoreonhim.BylookingcarefullyatScripture,thecounselorhelpsJillfindareasofsininherlife,admitherfallenness,andaskGodforforgiveness.

ThesearejustafewofthepossiblecounselingapproacheshiddenbehindblockadsandtelephonenumbersinJill’sYellowPages.Howwillshedecide?WillJillreachouttotherightcounselorforhelp?Willshefindsomeonetohelphertowardgreateremotionalandspiritualhealth?

Jillisnotaloneinhersearchforspirituallysensitivecounseling.InasurveyofFloridaresidentsrandomlyselectedfromtelephonelistings,agreaternumberofrespondentspreferredhelpfromapastorthanfromapsychologist,socialworker,psychiatrist,or

communitymentalhealthcenter.3Similarly,inananalogstudywithmiddle-agedadults,participantsfoundreligiouslysensitivecounselorsmoretrustworthy,likable,andapproachablethanagnosticoratheisticcounselors.4

CounselorsAreConfusedTooReligionandreligiousvalueshavebecomeafrequenttopicofdiscussionformanycounselorsinrecentyears,andmostcounselorshavethoughtagreatdealabouttheconfusiontheirclientsfaceinchoosingagoodtherapist.5Butwhenitcomestoreligiousvaluesinthecounselingoffice,ourclientsarenotalone.Manycounselorsfeelconfusedtoo.

CounselorAsoundsconfidentinrejectingreligionbutishavingproblemsfindingevidencetosupportsuchaview.Stridentatheists,suchasAlbertEllis,havearguedforyearsthatreligioncausesillness.6Butastheirclaimshavebeencontradictedbyresearchevidence,theyhavebecomemorecautiousintheirrejectionofreligion.7Ellis,forexample,nowsaysitisfanaticalandrigidreligiousbeliefs,notreligionperse,thatcauseproblems.EllisevenendorsedtheBibleasausefulself-helpbookina1993article:“IthinkthatIcansafelysaythattheJudeo-ChristianBibleisaself-helpbookthathasprobablyenabledmorepeopletomakemoreextensiveandintensivepersonalityandbehavioralchangesthanallprofessionaltherapistscombined.”8

CounselorBhasalwaysbeenopen-mindedandwillingtoacceptanywidelyacceptedreligiousbeliefasanimportantaspectofmentalhealth.ButsomeoftherecentcritiquesofpostmodernismhaveCounselorBwondering:Ifweacceptanybeliefasvalid,thendoanybeliefshavemerit?Ifalltruthisconstructedbyone’sownvaluesandbeliefs,thencan’ttruthalsobedeconstructed,sothatnothingisultimatelytrue?9

CounselorCisabiblicalcounselorwhorejectsallseculartheoriesofcounselinginfavorofusingScriptureasthesourceofallknowledge.ButeverynowandthenCounselorCreadsabouttheintegrationmovementinpsychologyandtheologyandprivatelywondersifsomepsychologicaltechniquesmayhelpresolvesomeemotionalproblems.Whataboutthefindingthatpanicattackscanbeeffectivelytreatedwithtwelvesessionsofbreathingtrainingandcognitivetherapy?10OrwhataboutthelistofempiricallyvalidatedtreatmentproceduresbeingdevelopedbytheClinicalPsychologyDivisionoftheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation(APA)?Eachprocedureonthelisthasbeenverifiedeffectivebyatleasttwodouble-blindcontrolled-outcomestudies.11Canbiblicalcounselorscontinuetosaythatpsychotherapyandcounselingdon’tworkwhenthereissomuchevidencetothecontrary?

Itisgoodwehaveagroupofreligiouscounselingspecialists—thosewhohavespentmanyhourspreparingtotranscendtheconfusionfacedbyclientsandmostcounselors.ThesespecialistsintegrateChristiantheologyandpsychologicaltechniquesandhelptheirclientswithbothspiritualandemotionalgrowth.TheyclingtothetruthofChristasrevealedin

Scriptureanddeliberatelyallowtheirbeliefstosaturatetheircounselingmethods.Theyrespectandhonorpeople’sChristianvalueswhilehelpingthemunderstandandchangetheiremotionalpain.TheyhelppeoplelikeJill.SurelytheyneverfeelconfusedwhenpeoplelikeJillcomeforhelp.Right?

Wrong.EventhoseinvolvedintheChristiancounselingmovementoftenfacefeelingsofconfusioninthecounselingoffice.ThecounselingofficeiswheretheintegrationofChristianbeliefsandcounselingtechniquesbecomesmostpractical,anditisoftenwherewefeelmostbombardedwithunansweredquestions.Whenshouldwepraywithclients?Isforgivenessreasonableforasurvivorofsexualabuse?Shouldweconfrontsinorwaitforourclientstorecognizeitontheirown?Isreconciliationalwaysareasonablegoal?Aretheretimeswhendivorceisacceptable?DoIhaveanyevidencethatthisreligiouslyorientedcounselingapproachiseffective?Arethespiritualdisciplinesanecessarypartofemotionalhealing?IsonetheoreticalapproachtocounselingmorecompatiblewithChristianitythananother?CanScripturememorycontributetodenialandunhealthydefenses?Arepositiveself-talkandself-esteemcontrarytoScripture?

Whatseemsclearinthelatestscientificjournalorlatestprofessionalbooksomehowseemsfuzzyinthecounselingoffice.Evenbiblicalprinciples,whichweholdtobetrueandauthoritative,sometimesseemdifficulttoapplyasweworkwithourclients.

Thisisabookaboutcounselingprocessandtechniques.AlthoughIwillreviewanumberofsurveys,scientificstudies,Scripturepassages,andtheoreticalmodels,myprimarypurposeistofocusontheproblemswefaceinthecounselingoffice.Idon’thavealltheanswers,andIcannotpromisethatthosewhoreadthisbookwillneveragainfeelconfusedanduncertainaboutreligiousissuesinthecounselingoffice.ButperhapsthisbookwillhelpChristiancounselorsandresearchersunitearoundcertainkeyquestionsandperspectivessothatourinterventionsbecomeincreasinglyrelevantandeffective.

TheFrontierofIntegrationWhenJillfinallyfindsaChristiancounselor,sheschedulesanappointment,rehearseswhatshewillsay,andshowsuptenminutesearlyforherfirstappointment.Hercounselor,Dr.N.T.Gration,ushersJillintotheofficeandlistenstoherstory.Jillbeginsbydescribinghowdistantshefeelsfromeveryone,includingGod.Nowinherearlythirties,Jilldoesnotfeelsatisfiedinhercareerasanaccountant.Noneofherdatingrelationshipshasturnedintoastable,long-termcommitment.Shehasstoppedcommunicatingwithherparentsbecauseaformercounselortoldherto.Jill’sparents,shesayswithanemotionlessface,nevertookthetimetofigureoutthatherolderbrothersexuallyabusedherforfivechildhoodyears.Jill’sintellecttellsherthatGodlovesher,butheremotionsscreamoutthatsheisabandoned,driftingallaloneinacruelworld.

Fortunately,Dr.GrationisanexpertinintegratingChristianityandpsychology.She

graduatedfromapsychologydoctoralprogramataChristianinstitution;shehasreadhundredsofbooksandarticlesaboutintegration;andshehasevenwrittenafewarticlesherself.JillmadeagoodchoiceindecidingtoseeDr.Gration.

ButDr.Grationisn’talwayssurehowthearticlesandbooksshehasreadhelpherwiththestrugglesherclientsface.IsitwiseforJilltoisolateherselffromherparents?IsitreasonableforJilltoforgiveherparents,orevenherbrother?WhatcounselingapproachesmighthelpJillfeelclosertoGod?Dr.Grationcangotothelocaluniversitylibraryortoheroldcoursenotesfromgraduateschool,butsheprobablywon’tfindanswerstothesequestions.

Dr.Gration’sdilemmaillustratestheslowevolutionoftheintegrationmovementinpsychologyandChristianity—anevolutionoutlinedbyEverettWorthington,Jr.,ina1994articleinJournalofPsychologyandTheology.12Worthingtondescribesthreestagesofinterdisciplinaryintegration—blendingpsychologyandtheologyintoaframeworkforChristiancounseling.Inthefirststage,before1975,avarietyofarticlesintroducedrudimentaryconceptsthatweremostlyunrelatedtooneanother.Inthesecondstage,between1975and1982,integrationmodelsflourished.IntegrationjournalswerefilledwithschematicdrawingsofhowChristianityandpsychologycanberelated.Followingthisperiodofmodelmadness,since1982theintegrationmovementhasbecomeincreasinglyrelevantandpractical.WehaveconsideredhowourtheoriesofcounselingcanandshouldbeenhancedormodifiedbyChristianvalues,andwehavestartedreportingempiricalstudiesthathelpbuildascientificbaseforourclaims.

Thus,itappearswearemakinggoodprogressinwhatWorthingtoncallsinterdisciplinaryintegration.ButwhataboutDr.Gration’squestionsaboutJill?Thesepertainmoretointradisciplinaryintegration—thatwhichoccurswithinthedisciplinesofcounselingandpsychotherapy.Inotherwords,howdoIimplementreligiousvaluesandbeliefsintomytreatmentofthisclient?Inthisregard,thejournalsandprofessionalbooksarelesshelpful.In1983GaryCollinswrotethisabouttheJournalofPsychologyandTheology:

TheJournalofPsychologyandTheologydoespublishpracticalarticlesandthe“publicationspolicy”clearlyindicatesthatappliedpapersarewelcome.NeverthelessthemajoremphasisintheJournalappearstobetheoretical.Isuspectthatrelativelyfewpastorsorfull-timeprofessionalcaregiversfindthearticlestobeofpracticalhelpintheircounselingwork.Itwouldbehelpfultoseemoreofanappliedperspectiveinthispublication...Wemustgivemoreattentiontothepreviouslymentionedissueofintegrationmethodology.Howdowedointegration?Whatskillsandmethodsareinvolved?13

Worthingtonconcludes,andIagree,thatCollins’scallforpracticalintegrationmethods

hasnotproducedmuchchange:“Practice-focused,training-orientedarticleshavebeenscarcetonon-existent.”14

Butthingsmaybestartingtochange.TheInternationalCongressesonChristianCounselingin1988and1992havebroughttogetherChristiancounselorsfromaroundtheworldtodiscusscounselingtechniquesandmethods.TheAmericanAssociationofChristianCounselors(AACC)publishesChristianCounselingToday,apopularperiodicalwithmanypracticalcounselingsuggestions.IntegrativecounselingmethodsmaybethenextfrontierforChristiancounselorsandresearcherstoexplore.Thisisabookforthosewantingtoinvestigatethefrontierofintradisciplinaryintegration.

LifeontheFrontierAnumberofpersonalandprofessionalchallengesfaceChristiancounselorsasweconfrontthisnewfrontierofintradisciplinaryintegration.

Challenge1:MovingfromTwoAreasofCompetencetoThreeDr.Grationhasamaster’sdegreeintheologyandadoctorateinpsychology.Sheiswellpreparedforinterdisciplinaryintegration.ButshefeelsunpreparedformanyofthepracticalquestionsJillbringstothecounselingoffice.Whatmoredoessheneed?

ForChristiancounselorsdoinginterdisciplinaryintegration,twoareasofcompetencearenecessaryandsufficient:psychologyandtheology.Whenpsychologistswithouttheologicaltrainingattempttodointegration,theyoftenminimizetheimportanceofdoctrine,psychologizeChristianbeliefs,andoverlookthehistoricalandsociologicalcontextoftoday’spsychology.OrthodoxChristiantheologykeepscounselorsgroundedinthemidstofaprofessioneasilyswayedbynewtheories,fads,andsensationalisticclaims.Whentheologianswithoutpsychologicaltrainingattempttodointegration,theyoftenmisrepresentthenuancesofpsychologicalscienceandmisunderstandthecomplexitiesofclinicalapplications.Sothebestinterdisciplinaryintegrationworkusuallycomesfromthosewhohaveformalorinformalpreparationinbothpsychologyandtheology.Eventhetitlesofourintegrationjournalsdemonstratethesetwoessentialingredients:theJournalofPsychologyandTheologyandtheJournalofPsychologyandChristianity.

Intradisciplinaryintegrationintroducesaneedforathirdareaofcompetence.IfwearetobringreligiousissuesoutofthescholarlyjournalsandintotheChristiancounselingoffice,wemustunderstandspiritualityandtheprocessofspiritualformation.TheimportanceofspiritualityinemotionalhealinghasbeenknownforcenturiesintheCatholicChurchandisparticularlyevidentinmonasticlifeandspiritualdirection.ButcontemporaryProtestantcounselorshaveoftenoverlookedspiritualdisciplines.Thoseattendingseminariesforcounselingdegreesreceivetraininginpsychologicaltheoryandtechniquesandintheologicaltheoryandtechniques.Whatarethetechniquesofspiritualformation?Howdoesonelearn

spiritualpassionanddevotion?Thesequestionsareoftenoverlooked,eveninthebesttrainingprograms,leavingcounselorswithonlytwoofthethreeessentialcomponentsoftraining.Justasatripodwithonelegmissingisoflittlevalue,aChristiancounselorwholacksunderstandingofspiritualitywillbehandicappedinbringingreligiousissuesintothecounselingoffice.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Yourclient,Jim,placeshisheadbetweenhispalms,sighsdeeply,andbeginsdescribingthespiritualdarknesshefeels.AChristianformanyyears,Jimhasviewedhisspirituallifeasapilgrimage.ManytimeshehasfeltoverwhelmedwithGod’sgraciouspresenceandkindness.AtothertimeshehasfeltdistantfromGod.HeunderstandswhatSaintJohnoftheCrosscalledthe“darknightofthesoul.”Butthistime,thenightseemsdarkeranddeeperthaneverbefore.Hefeelsalone,sad,confused,andempty.Hecomestoyou,aChristiancounselor,forhelp.

Thisisamultiple-choicequestion.Whichwouldyoudo?

1.DiagnoseJimwithdepression,arrangeforantidepressantmedicationtobeprescribed,andbeginaregimenofcognitivetherapyfordepression.

2.EncourageJimbyremindinghimthathisfeelingsdonotdeterminehisfaith.EventhoughGodseemsfaraway,nothingcanseparateJimfromGod’sloverevealedinChrist(e.g.,Rom.8:35-39).

3.ExploreJim’sinnerspirituallongings,andallowhimtogrieveabouthisfeelingsofdistancefromGod.

4.Consideralloftheabovepossibilities.

Thefirstoptionreflectstheapproachthatmightbetakenbymanypsychologistswhohavenoreligioustrainingorexperience.Thesecondchoicemightbeaddedbycounselorswiththeologicalunderstanding.Thethirdrequiresanunderstandingofspiritualformation.ThosewhoyearnforGodandtakethespirituallifemostseriouslyalwaysexperienceperiodsofspiritualdarknessandloneliness;itispartofthespiritualquestforChristians.Onlythosecounselorsawareofpsychologicalsymptoms,theologicalprinciples,andspiritualformationwillbeabletodiscernthebesttreatmentforJim.

Unlikecompetenceinpsychologyandtheology,understandingspiritualitydoesnotlenditselftocredentials.InTheSpiritoftheDisciplines,DallasWillardwritesthataspirituallife

“consistsinthatrangeofactivitiesinwhichpeoplecooperativelyinteractwithGod—andwiththespiritualorderderivingfromGod’spersonalityandaction.”15Spiritualtrainingisexperientialandoftenprivate.Itisrarelyfoundintheclassroomorrepresentedbygraduatedegrees,butitisfoundinprivatehoursofprayeranddevotionalreflection,inchurchsanctuarieswhereChristiancommunitiesworship,inquietdisciplinesoffastingandsolitude.

Thereisanotherreasonthatspiritualcompetencecannotberepresentedasacredentialonacurriculumvitae:thosewiththerichestspiritualliferecognizethatspiritualcompetenceis,inonesense,anoxymoron.Wecanbecomemoreorlesscompetentinthespiritualdisciplines,trainingourselvestoexperienceGodmorefully,butwecanneverbespirituallycompetent.Christiandoctrineteachesthatwearespirituallyincompetent,inneedofaRedeemer.ThespirituallifedirectsusawayfromillusionsofcompetenceandcausesustoconfrontourutterhelplessnessanddependenceonourgraciousGod.Whenwerecognizeourweakness,thenChrist’sstrengthcanworkthroughus(2Cor.12:10).

BalancingChristiantheology,psychology,andspiritualformationisimportantinatimewhensomanyconflictingandconfusingmessagesbombardus.IfwedriftawayfromChristiantheology,wefindourselvesinthestrangeworldofspiritualism.16Manywritersspeakofaspiritualquestthatisbornoutofinsatiablehumancuriosityabouttheworld.Thequestattimesseemsquitenarcissistic,itsgoalandfocusinvolvepersonalwell-being,andsomewritersapplaudthosewhohavesacrificedfamiliesandotherrelationalresponsibilitiesintheirsearchformeaning.Christianspiritualitydoesnotbeginmerelyinourquestforunderstanding.Itbeginsinourunderstandingthatsomethingisdeeplywrongwithus—arealizationthatcanleadtoareneweddedicationtothevaluesofthegospel.

IfthespirituallifeoftheChristiancounselorisimportantforintradisciplinaryintegration,thenthedistinctionbetweenprofessionallifeandpersonallifebecomesdifficulttodefinebecausetheChristiancounselor’spietyandpersonalpracticesaffectthecounselingprocessandoutcome.

Challenge2:BlurredPersonal-ProfessionalDistinctionsThoughmostprofessional-ethicscodesmakeadistinctionbetweenthepersonalandprofessionallifeofthecounselor,thisdistinctionisblurredforthespirituallysensitiveChristiancounselor.IfaChristiancounselorgetsupearlyinthemorningandpraysforaclient,isthisanillustrationofthecounselor’spersonallifeorprofessionallife?Ifcounselorstrainthemselves,throughpracticingspiritualdisciplines,toremainkindandcalminthepresenceofangry,provocativecircumstances,isitpersonalorprofessionalwhentheyapplythoseskillswithdifficultclients?Theprofessionalizationofcounselinghasledtothemyththatallthatisrelevantarethosethingsthatclientsobserve,suchasacounselor’sdemeanor,affectiveresponse,anddisplayofempathy.Idisagree:thekindoftherapeuticrelationshipsthatfosterhealingarenotformedmerelyfromwell-chosentechniquesbutgrowoutoftheperson’sinnerlife.17Inthissense,counselingisbothprofessionalandpersonal.

Tojustifyaclearlydefineddivisionbetweenacounselor’spersonalandprofessionallife,wemustviewthecounselorasadispenserofhealingtechnology—onewhotreatsspecificsymptomswithspecifictechniquesthatmakeapersonfeelbetter.Tosomeextentthisistrue—certaincounselingtechniquesworkbetterthanotherswithcertaindisorders.ButideallyaChristiancounselorisalsoahealingagent—onewhosespirituallifespillsoverininteractionswitheveryone,includingclients.

Itisnowclearthatcounselingiseffective.18Itisalsoclearthattheeffectsofcounselingcannotbesolelyattributedtothetechniquesusedbythecounselor.Anumberofotheringredients,called“nonspecificfactors,”affecttheoutcomeofcounseling.19Themostimportantofthesenonspecificfactorsappearstobethecounselingrelationship.Ina1993reviewofthecounselingliterature,psychologistsSusanWhistonandThomasSextonreportedthatastrongtherapeuticrelationshipisoneofthebestindicatorsofsuccessinpsychotherapy.20Mostpeopleseekingcounselingarenotlookingforaspecificsetoftechniquesbutforarelationshipwithsomeonewhohasvaluestheyrespect.21Theyseekthisrelationshipbecausetheyarewounded,driventosorrowbythenaturalconsequencesoflivinginafallenworld.InthemidstofaChristiancounselingrelationshiptheyoftenmovefrombrokennessandsorrowtohopeandrestoration.

Isthistherapeuticbondpersonalorprofessional?Itisboth.Acounselingrelationshipisprofessionalinmanyways:itoccursataspecifiedtimeandplace;afeeisoftencharged;theclientdisclosesmuchmorethanthecounselor;andtherelationshipisterminatedataspecifiedtime.AChristiancounselingrelationshipisalsopersonal:bothcounselorandclientinvestenergyandemotionintherelationship;bothusewordsthatemergefromtheirpersonalhistoriesandwaysofunderstandingtheworld;bothprayoutsideofthecounselingsessionsthattherelationshipmighthelptheclient;andbotharebrothersorsistersinChrist.

Thisblendingofpersonalandprofessionalcanbeseenintheincreasinginterestinvaluesandpsychotherapy.22Themythofvalue-neutralcounselinghasbeenshattered,and

nowresearchersandcliniciansaretryingtounderstandtheplaceofvaluesincounseling.Twopsychologistsstartedarecentjournalarticlewith,“Itisnowanacceptedfactthatpsychotherapyisavalue-ladenenterprise...[Values]areinextricablywovenintothecounselingprocess.”23Ifthisistrue,thenhowcancounselingeverbereducedtoasetofprofessionalbehaviors?Professionalbehaviorsareimportant,butavalue-ladenprocessmustalsorelyonpersonalqualitiesandperspectives.

Thus,theChristiancounselorsbestpreparedtohelppeoplearethosewhoarenotonlyhighlytrainedincounselingtheoryandtechniquesandintheologybutalsopersonallytrainedtoreflectChristiancharacterinsideandoutsideofthecounselingoffice.Thischaractercannotbecredentialedwithgraduatedegreesorlearnedintheclassroom;itcomesfromyearsoffaithfultraininginthespiritualdisciplines—prayer,studyingScripture,solitude,fasting,corporateworship,andsoon.24Onthisnewfrontierofintradisciplinaryintegration,thepersonallifeofthecounselorisanessentialingredientforproductiveprofessionalwork.

Challenge3:ExpandedDefinitionsofTrainingIfintradisciplinaryintegrationrequiresanawarenessofspiritualityinadditiontotheologyandpsychology,howarewedoingatpreparingourselvesforintradisciplinaryintegration?Toanswerthis,wemustconsiderbothprofessionalandpersonaltraining.

Moon,Bailey,Kwasny,andWillissurveyedeighty-sevenreligiouslyorientedgraduatetrainingprogramstodeterminethecoverageofChristiandisciplinesintheirtrainingprograms.25Unfortunately,onlytwentyprogramdirectorsprovidedusabledata,despitetwomailingsfromtheauthors.Althoughmanyofthedisciplines—includingvariousformsofmeditationandprayer,confession,worship,forgiveness,fasting,andsimplicity—wereseenashavingscripturalsupportandtherapeuticutility,theywerenotemphasizedinthegraduatecurricula.Theauthorsconclude,“TheresultsofthisstudygenerallysupportthehypothesisthatinstructionintheChristiandisciplinesisararity.”26DespitethelowrateoftraininginChristiandisciplines,theauthorsgoontonotetheincreasingreceptivitytoreligionandreligiousissuesamongmentalhealthprofessionals.Theyconclude,“ChristiancounselingcanlegitimatelymakemoreuseofexplicitlyChristiantechniquesthatarisefromwithintheChristiantradition.”27Thus,itappearsthatprofessionaltraininginspiritual-guidancetechniquesislacking,eveninreligiouslyorientedtrainingprograms.

IfthedistinctionbetweenpersonalandprofessionallifeblursforthespirituallysensitiveChristiancounselor,thenitisimportantnottoleavethisdiscussionoftrainingattheprofessionallevel.Adamssurveyed450membersoftheChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies(CAPS),received340completedsurveys,andfoundthatthebestpredictorsofusingspiritual-guidancetechniquesinprofessionalworkwerepersonalfactors.28Twoofthethreestrongestpredictorswerethespiritualwell-beingofthecounselor

andthepracticeofpersonaldevotions.Thepersonallifeofcounselorsappearstoberevealedintheirprofessionalwork.

Justasprofessionaltrainingisessentialforcompetentcounselors,personaltrainingisimportantforthosewhoseethespirituallifeasanessentialcomponentofeffectiveChristiancounseling.AsDallasWillardsuggestsinTheSpiritoftheDisciplines,whetherplayingapianoorperformingsurgery,itisdisciplinedpreparationandnotjustanexertionofwillpoweratthemomentofperformancethatproducesmasterfulresults.Acounselorcannotsimplywalkintotheofficeand“puton”aneffectivecounselingdemeanor,evenifthecounselorusesprayer,Scripture,andotherreligiousinterventionsduringthesession.Thesubstanceofspirituallysensitivecounselinggoesdeeperthantechnique;thecare,disciplinedobjectivity,trustworthiness,empathy,wisdom,andinsightmustcomefromwithin.

Thespiritualdisciplinesprovideawayfordeepinternalchangethatmerewillpowercanneverbringabout.ThedisciplinesareGod’sprovisionforenablingustobecomewhatwecouldneverbecomethroughhumaneffort.Christiantherapistswhoaresensitivetothespiritualliferecognizetheimportanceofpersonaltrainingindevelopinghabitsofholiness.Theyare,asEugenePeterson(borrowingfromNietzsche)tellsus,theproductofa“longobedienceinthesamedirection.”29

Thisdoesnotmeanthatthespiritualdisciplinesthemselvesarespiritual.Whenweassumethathavingapersonaldevotionaltimedefinesourspirituality,wemissthepointofthedisciplinesandriskanexternalizedfaiththatisdisturbinglysimilartotheoutwardformofrighteousnessdisplayedbythehypocriticalreligiousleaderswhoplottedtokillJesus.Thedisciplinesarenotspiritual,buttheyprovideopportunitiestoexperienceGod.Theyarevehiclesofspiritualitythatbringusface-to-facewithGod’sgrace.Godtransformsusasweinvitechangethroughusingthespiritualdisciplines.

Challenge4:ConfrontingDominantViewsofMentalHealthConversationsaboutChristiancounselingmethodsoftenfocusontechniquesandspecificinterventions.Manypracticaltechniqueswillbeconsideredthroughoutthisbook.However,spirituallysensitivecounselingisnotmerelyamatterofimplementingasetoftechniquesinthecounselingoffice.

Beneatheverytechniqueisacounselingtheory,andbeneatheverytheoryisaworldview.BecausewearesometimestooeagertoimportpsychologicaltechniquesintoChristiancounseling,weoverlookthetroublingtheoreticalandworldviewimplicationsofthetechniquesweuse.AsChristiancounselorsfacethisnewfrontierofintradisciplinaryintegration,wemustdeliberatelylookattheworldviewassumptionsthatunderlieourtheoriesandtechniques.30

MostcontemporaryformsofChristiancounselingarereligiousadaptationsofmainstreamcounselingtechniques.Forexample,manyChristianwritersandtherapistshave

adaptedtechniquesfromAlbertEllis’sRational-EmotiveTherapy(RET)toChristiancounseling.31ThoughEllisisanoutspokenatheist,manyChristianshaveacceptedhistechniquesaslegitimate.OnehasevendescribedRETas“perhapsthemostcompatiblewithbiblicalteachingofallcurrentmajorpsychotherapeuticsystems.”32ButcanwereallyacceptRETwithoutcriticallyevaluatingtheunderlyinghedonistic,relativisticworldview?33WecanbendChristianassumptionstoconformtoexistingtechniques,butatsomepointourbeliefsystemsnaps,andweareleftwithonlytheisticscrapssaturatedbyatheisticdefinitionsofmentalhealth.Intradisciplinaryintegration—bringingtheChristianfaithintothecounselingoffice—requiresustoevaluatecarefullythegoalsoftherapyandtochallengetheviewsofhealingthatsurroundusinthementalhealthprofessions.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Chrisisabright,motivatedChristian,intentonservingChristandothers.AftercollegeChrisappliestograduateschoolinclinicalpsychologyandisreadilyadmittedtoatopprogram.Hearrivesoncampus,meetshisnewadviser,payshistuition,andbeginsattendingclasses.Chrisisimmediatelyoverwhelmedwiththequantityofworkrequired:helearnspsychometrics,testadministration,counselingtheory,counselingtechniques,basicscienceareasinpsychology,professionalethics,andsoon.Becauseheisbusilyinvolvedinresearchandstudying,hedoesn’tstoptoaskquestionsaboutthegoalsofprofessionalinterventions.

Fiveyearslater,doctoraldegreeinhand,ChrisisreadytobeginhisworkasaChristianpsychologist.Heisarmedwithanarsenaloftherapeuticconceptsandtechniques:systematicdesensitization,progressiverelaxation,cognitiverestructuring,analysisofresistance,projectiveidentification,unconditionalpositiveregard,dailyrecordofautomaticthoughts,andmanymore.Here’stheirony:Chrishasneverbeentaughtandneverstoppedtoquestionwhyheisusingthesetechniques.Whatisthegoaloftherapy?Howdowedefinehealing?

OneexampleoftheworldviewchallengesfacingChristiancounselorsisseeninthewidespreadassumptionthatmentalhealthrequiresustofeelgoodaboutwhoweare.In1967,whenDr.ThomasHarrissetouttoconvinceaculturethat“I’mOK—you’reOK,”heprobablydidn’trealizetheimpacthiswordswouldhave.34Now,bythetimepeoplearewillingtoseekhelpfromacounselor,pastor,orfriend,mosthavealreadyformulatedtheproblem.Itgoessomethinglikethis:“Ihaveproblemsbecausepeoplehavehurtme,andIhavespentmylifetryingtopleasethem.Well,I’mtiredofbeinghurtbyothers.NowIrealizethatIamokay,andit’stimetotakecareofmyself.Sopleasehelpmelearnhow.”

Inotherwords,“HelpmelookoutformyselfandfeelgoodaboutwhoIamsothatIcan

behappy.”We’rebombardedwithsimilarmessageseveryday:“Youhavetolookoutforyourself;nooneelsewill.”“Goahead,youdeserveit.”“Nooneelsecantellyouwhat’srightandwrongforyou.”“You’reagoodperson.Youneedtobelieveinyourself.”“Assertyourrights.”“Speakyourmind.”Counselorsoftenacceptthesedefinitionsofmentalhealthuncriticallyandshapetheir

clinicalworkaccordingly.Thesecontemporarymessagesofmentalhealtharenotallwrong.Peoplereallyarehurt

byothers,andthescarsthatremaincanbedevastating.Someemotionalproblemsarealmostpurelytheresultofpastwounds,priorconditioning,andfaultyself-image,andtheycanbeeffectivelytreatedwithcounselingtechniques.Althoughthecontemporarymessagesofmentalhealtharenotallwrong,theyarenotallrighteither.Theytelluswearenotsickbutarevictimsofourgenetics,lifecircumstances,andneurochemicals.Afterall,we’reokay.Socontemporarypoppsychologistsinstructtheirreaderstolookoutfortheirownneeds,giveupsillyideasofaltruismorforgiveness,andgetoutofrelationshipsthatarenotfulfilling.Theirmessageisclear:happinesscomesbyavoidingdiscomfort,sacrifice,andpain.PsychologistAlbertElliswrote,“Theemotionallyhealthyindividualshouldprimarilybetruetohimselfandnotmasochisticallysacrificehimselfforothers.”35Thistypeofhedonistic,individualisticethicisnotcompatiblewithChristianspirituality.InScriptureweareinstructedtolookoutfortheinterestsofothers(Phil.2:4)andtopreferoneanotherinhonor(Rom.12:10).Thosewhoseehedonismandshallowindependenceasthegoalofcounselingdenythespirituallifeandtheroleofbrokennessinhealing.

Christiandoctrineteachesustoviewourselvesasparticipantsinsinratherthanasinnocentvictims,thatsicknessisapartofournature,andthatrecognizingourspiritualconditionisaprerequisitetohealing.EveryChristianmustbeabrokenperson.Toenterthekingdom,wemustacknowledgethattheinnerpeaceweyearnforcannevercomebyourowneffortsbutonlybyadmittingwearepowerlesstoconquerourself-centerednessandbyturningovertheruleofourlifetoChrist.Oursinfulheartsshowthemselvesthroughwhatwedoandwhatwefailtodo.Weendupbrokennotonlybecausewearevictimsbutalsobecausewehaveheartsofrebellionandstubbornindependence.

TheChristiangospelgiveshopeforbrokenpeople,butonlyaftertheyrecognizetheirbrokenness.BrokennesswastheexperienceoftheBibleheroes:Abraham,Moses,David,Elijah,Paul.Oursocietymaytellustoavoidbrokennessbylookingoutforourselves,buttheheroesofourfaith,whoreallyknewwhatitwastolive,wereallpeoplewhohadbeenbroken.

FromaChristianworldview,aclientmightdescribeaproblemmorelikethis:“Ihave

problems.It’stemptingtobelieveIhavespentmylifetryingtopleaseothers,butIsupposeIhavedonethattocovermyfaults,tohidethepartsofmethatIdon’tlike.IsayI’vebeenpleasingothers,butreallyI’vebeentryingtopleasemyself.I’mleftwithasenseofdespair.Ifeelthatthereissomethingterriblywrongwithme(andeveryoneelse,too).AndIcan’tfixitonmyown.”

Inoursicknessandpain,wegropeforanswers,forbetterunderstanding,formeaningfulrelationships.OursicknessleadsustoGod.Godcanrestoreandusebrokenvesselsfordivinepurposes.Davidwrote:

IwaitedpatientlyfortheLord;heinclinedtomeandheardmycry.Hedrewmeupfromthedesolatepit,outofthemirybog,andsetmyfeetuponarock,makingmystepssecure.Heputanewsonginmymouth,asongofpraisetoourGod.Manywillseeandfear,andputtheirtrustintheLord.Psalm40:1-3

ThegoodnewsofChristianityisthatGodbringsusoutofourbrokennessanddrawsusintorelationship.TheChristianmessageisoneofhope.WehavebeenrestoredtoGodthroughtheworkofChrist.

SowhatdoestheChristiancounselordowhensittingwithsobbingclientswhofeeladeepsenseofinadequacyandneediness?Isthebesttreatmenttoconvincetheseclientsthattheyarewrong,thattheyareactuallywonderfulpeoplewhohavemisinterpretedtheworld?Orisitmorereasonabletoreflectontheroleofbrokennessinhealingandtorecognizethatinadequacyandneedinessareprerequisitestorestorationandhope?Counseling,whenpracticedbythosewhorespectbrokennessaspartofhealing,isareflectionofredemption.Thosewhoentertherapyinthemidstoftheirpainexperiencearestorativecounselingrelationshipthatbringsacceptance,hope,andmeaningintotheirbrokenlives.Inthissense,counselingmimicsthegospel—peoplearebroken,andbrokenpeoplearerestoredinthecontextofahealingrelationship.

Challenge5:EstablishingaScientificBaseOfcourse,onecanerrineitherdirection.Wecanbecomesointentonavoidinga“secular”worldviewthatweenduprejectingallthatpsychologyandcounselingtheoryhavetooffer.SometimesourzealforChristiancounselingstartstolooklikeexcessiveconfidence,orevenpride.Sometimesweactasifourmethodshavebeenscientificallyvalidatedorasiftheydonotneedtobescientificallyvalidatedbecausewehavefoundamoredirectroutetotruth.Thesearedangerousviewsthatsometimesalienateusfromourcolleaguesinvariousmentalhealthfields.

Thus,wealsofacescientificchallenges.Christiancounselorswhowishtobeaccuratelyunderstoodamongmentalhealthprofessionalsmustusethelanguageofsciencethatiscommonamongtheseprofessions.ThisposesachallengeforChristiancounselors,especiallythoseinacademicandresearchsettings,todemonstratescientificallytheuniqueinterventionsChristiancounselorsuseinthecounselingofficeandtheireffectiveness.

Withregardtothefirstquestion—WhatdoChristiancounselorsdointhecounselingoffice?—itisimportanttorememberthatChristiancounselorsareadiversegroupwithvaryingbackgroundsandperspectivesontheuseofChristiandisciplinesincounseling.Worthington,Dupont,Berry,andDuncanevaluatedninety-twocounselingsessionsledbysevenChristiancounselors.36Religioushomework,quotingfromScripture,discussingtheChristianfaith,andprayerwerefrequentlyusedtechniques,butalltechniqueswereusedinfewerthanhalfofthesessions,andChristiancounselorsvariedconsiderablyintheiruseofspiritual-guidancetechniques.Asexpected,counselorsweremorelikelytousereligioustechniqueswithhighlyreligiousclientsthanwithmarginallyreligiousclients,butthenumberofreligiousguidancetechniquesusedwasnotagoodpredictorofcounselingoutcome,evenwithreligiousclients.Theauthorsconclude:“FortheChristianpsychotherapist,itisnotthemerenumberofspiritual-guidancetechniquesusedthatisimportantininfluencingclients’perceptionsofeffectivetherapy.Rather,thechoiceofwhichtechniquestouseatwhattimeismoreimportant.”37

BallandGoodyearfoundthatprayeristhemostcommonlyusedspiritualinterventionamongCAPSmembers,accountingforapproximatelyone-fourthofthespiritualinterventionsreported.38ReferringtoScriptureandteachingreligiousconceptswerefrequentlyreportedonapaper-and-pencilquestionnairebutinfrequentlyreportedwhensomeofthesamerespondentswereinterviewedandaskedtodescribefivecriticalincidentsintreatingChristianclients.Conversely,techniquesthathadnoreligiousfoundationwereinfrequentlyreportedonthepencil-and-paperquestionnairebutfrequentlyreportedduringinterviews.Thus,itseemslikelythatwhatChristiancounselorswanttodoincounselingsometimesvariesfromwhattheyactuallydo.

Whatcanweconcludefromthesestudies?Themostobviousconclusionisthatresearchevidenceregardingspiritual-guidancetechniquesincounselingissparseandneedstobea

highpriorityfortheChristiancounselingmovement.ManyChristiancounselorsareusingspiritualtechniquesintherapy,includingprayer,religiouslyorientedhomework,Scripture,andfaith-relateddiscussions,butperhapsnotasoftenastheywouldlike.

Howeffectivearereligiouslyorientedtherapiesincounseling?FiveoutcomestudiesthatattempttoanswerthisquestionarereviewedbypsychologistW.BradJohnson.39Itisstrikingthatthreeofthefivestudiesdemonstratedsignificantmethodologicalinadequacies.Itisevenmorestrikingthatamongthemanyhundredsofpsychotherapyoutcomestudies,onlyfivestudieshaveinvestigatedreligiouslyorientedtherapies.Threeofthestudiesindicatednodifferenceineffectivenessbetweenreligiousandnonreligiousformsoftherapyfordepression.40Thetworemainingstudiesdemonstratedanadvantageforreligiouslyorientedtherapieswithreligiousdepressedclients.41However,inthemostcomprehensivestudyreportedtodate,RebeccaPropstandhercolleaguesfoundthatareligiousformofcognitivetherapywasmosteffectiveifdeliveredbyanonreligioustherapist.42Thisisanintriguingfindingthatwillrequiremoreresearchtobeunderstood.

Itisimportanttorecognizethatallreportedoutcomestudiesofreligiouslyorientedinterventionscomparereligiousandnonreligiousversionsofwell-establishedcognitiveinterventionsfordepression.WecanonlyspeculateontheeffectivenessofChristiancounselinginterventionsthatarebuiltondifferentworldviewandtheoreticalassumptions.MuchmoreresearchisneededasChristiancounselorscontinuetoarticulateintradisciplinaryintegration.

Challenge6:DefiningRelevantEthicalStandardsThisnewfrontierofintradisciplinaryintegrationintroducesnewethicalchallengesaswell.Onlythosetreatmentsthathavebeeneffectiveintwoindependentdouble-blindstudieswithadequatecontrolgroupsareincludedontheAPA’slistofempiricallyvalidatedpsychologicalprocedures.Inthenearfuture,insurancecompaniesmayrequirecounselingtobeconductedaccordingtoanapprovedtreatmentprotocol.Becausenoreligiouslyorientedinterventionshavebeenevaluatedintwoindependentdouble-blindstudies,noneareonthelist.Thisisbothascientificchallenge,asdescribedpreviously,andanethicalchallenge.WillChristiancounselorscontinuetothriveiftheirtechniquesarenotendorsedbythird-partypayers?Whatethicalprinciplesmustbefollowedinsuchadilemma?

WhatIfThisHappened?

Asyoubeginyourfirstsessionwithadistressedcouple,WillandPatty,Willlooksyouintheeyeandsays,“We’redoingsomeresearchonthebestcounselingapproach.Wefigurethiswilltakesometimeandcostsomemoney,andwewanttobesuretogetthebesthelpavailable.”

Pattyquicklyadds,“We’rewonderingwhatyoumeanwhenyousayyou’reaChristiancounselor.HowdoesChristiancounselingdifferfromothercounseling?Andhowconfidentcanwebethatourrelationshipwillgetbetter?”

AttheheartofWillandPatty’squestionsistheethicalprincipleofinformedconsent.Whenpeoplecometoacounselorforhelp,theyshouldbegiventhoroughandaccurateinformationabouttheproposedcounselingprocedures,shouldbeinformedofalternativetreatmentapproaches,andshouldsignawrittenconsentform.43Witheachclient,wemustaskourselvesseveralquestions.Wasthispersonfreelygivenachoicetoparticipatebasedonafullunderstandingofthecounselingproceduresandthealternativesavailable?Doesheorsheknowthenatureofthecounselingservicesandthelikelihoodofsuccess?GivingastandardanswertothesequestionsisimpossiblebecauseChristiancounselorsareadiversegroup,offeringmanydifferentapproachestocounseling.It’snotjustthatweusedifferenttechniquesorstyles;wedon’tagreeonwhatChristiancounselingis.

WhenWorthingtonreviewedtheresearchonreligiouscounseling,hefoundthreetypesofassumptions.44First,somepeopleassumereligiouscounselingisanytypeofcounselingdeliveredbyareligiousperson.Thisassumesthatthecounselor’savailabilityasanagentofGod’sgracewillhaveahealingeffectonaclient,evenifnoreligiouslyorientedtechniquesareused.Fromthisperspective,adiscussionofChristiancounselingtechniquesmissesthepointbecausetherelationalaspectsofcounselingarevaluedabovetechniques.Thisviewispartlyright;agreatdealofevidencesuggeststhattherelationalaspectsoftherapyareessentialforgoodoutcome.45However,itisnotclearwhatisChristianaboutthiscounseling,andPropstandhercolleaguesfoundnoadvantageforreligioustherapistsusingnonreligioustherapyintreatingdepressedclients.46

Theinformed-consentprocedureforChristiancounselorsinthisgroupisnotparticularlydifficultbecausetheircounselingservicesdonotdiffersignificantlyfromnon-Christiancounseling.Thesecounselorscandevelopinformed-consentformsthatlookliketheindustrystandard.Thereisoneproblemthough:therelationaltherapiesarenotwellrepresentedontheAPA’slistofempiricallyvalidatedprocedures.Thus,whendescribingalternativetreatments,theformshouldincludeadescriptionoftreatmentapproachesthatarequicker,lessexpensive,andeffective.

Second,somepeoplebelievethatreligiouscounselingisapplyingcounselingtechniqueswithinformalreligiouspractice.BiblicalcounselorsandChristiancounselorswhousespiritual-guidancetechniquesastheirprimarymeansofinterventionareoperatingfromthisviewofcounseling.Althoughthesecounselorsareoftencriticizedasbeing“tooreligious,”itisinterestingtonotethatthosereceivingpastoralcounselinginthePropstetal.studyshowedasmuchprogressasthoseinthereligiouscognitive-therapycondition,andtheymaintainedtheirgainsduringthetwo-yearfollow-upperiod.47

OftenChristiancounselorsinthiscategoryarepracticingnotwithinthemainstreammentalhealthcommunitybutasextensionsofchurchandparachurchministries.Usuallytheyarenotseekinginsurancereimbursementfortheirservicesandoftendonotconsiderinformedconsentanimportantpartoftheirwork.Nonetheless,informedconsentisbecominganimportantobligationforallcounselorsbecausethoseseekingourservicesareoftenunawareoftheoptionsavailable.Informed-consentprocedureswillplayaprominentpartintheAACCcodeofethicscurrentlybeingdeveloped.

Third,someseereligiouscounselingas“supercharged”secularcounseling,addingreligiouselementstowell-establishedcounselingmodels.Propstetal.foundthatstandardcognitivetherapyenhancedwithreligiousimageryandreligiousargumentstocounterirrationalthoughtswassuperiortostandardcognitivetherapyinrelievingdepression.48However,thisviewperpetuatestheproblemmentionedearlier,thataChristianizedformoftherapycanbebuiltonflawed,misleading,anddamagingworldviewassumptions.

Counselorsworkingfromthisperspectivearesometimesinclinedtousestandardinformed-consentformsandthen“throwin”thereligiousinterventionsasanextrapartoftreatment.Thisisprobablynotwise,becausePropstreportedtwoseparatestudiesthatsuggestreligiouselementschangetheeffectivenessoftreatment.49Thus,Christiancounselorsfromthisthirdperspectiveshouldattempttodescribeboththeirtherapeuticmodelandtheirreligiousadaptationsofthemodel.

FormanyChristiancounselors,noneofthesethreeapproachestocounselingseemssatisfying.Perhapsweneedafourthoption—anempiricallyvalidatedChristiancounselingmodelofpersonality,mentalhealth,andtherapy.Manyquestionswouldneedtobeanswered:Whatishumanpersonality?Whatmotivateshumans?Whatgoeswrongtocreatementalhealthproblems?Whatshouldthecompetentcounselordointhecounselingofficetorestoreclientstomentalandspiritualhealth?Developingthisfourthoptionwillrequirephilosophers,theologians,researchers,andclinicianstocollaborateinbuildingascientificallyrespectedandtheologicallysoundmodelforChristiancounseling;thistaskprobablywillrequireseveraldecadesofwork.Ifwebuildourcounselingmodelsprematurely,theywillnotbetakenseriously—evenbythosewithintheChristiancounselingmovement.

Thisdiscussionofethicalchallengeshasbeenlimitedtoinformedconsent,butmanymoreethicaltensionsarisewhenconsideringintradisciplinaryintegration.Thesewillbeexploredthroughouttheremainingchapters.

SummaryIntradisciplinaryintegrationisarecentlyemergingfrontierforChristiancounselors.ThequestionisnothowweunderstandtherelationshipbetweenpsychologyandtheologybuthowwepracticallyusetheChristianfaithinourcounseling.Changebringschallenge,and

Christiancounselorsfaceseveralsignificantchallengesastheybringreligionintotheircounselingoffices.Religiousinterventionsrequireustounderstandspiritualformation,placepriorityonpersonalspiritualtrainingaswellasprofessionaldevelopment,challengeprevailingmodelsofmentalhealth,worktowardastrongerscientificbase,andsensitivelyrecognizeethicalissues.

UponReflection

I’vewonderedwhatitwouldbeliketowriteabookwithastunningopeningsentence—thekindthatreverberatesinpeople’smindsfordecades.RichardFoster’sCelebrationofDisciplineisagreatexamplewithitspoignantfirstline:“Superficialityisthecurseofourage.”50I’mafraidmyopeningsentenceofchapter1isdoomedtofallshort.Jill’sYellowPagesdon’tseemparticularlyrelevantthesedays.WhoevenusesYellowPagesanymore?NowadaysJillwillgooglecounselors,becausethenameGooglehasbecomeaverb,orshewillfacebookthem,becauseFacebookisfastbecomingaverb.

Firstsentencesaside,thepointofthischapteristosettheagendaforthebook—topronounceintradisciplinaryintegrationasmyprimarytopic.Thetheoreticalunderpinningsofintegrationareimportant,butthepointofthisbookistoconsiderwhatactuallyhappensinthecounselingoffice.

Lookingbackfrommypresent-dayvantagepoint,IampleasedthatmanyChristianresearchersandwritershavefocusedonthepracticaldimensionsofintegration.TheAmericanAssociationofChristianCounselorscontinuestosponsorbookswithpracticalutility,andtheChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudieshasrecentlystartedaserieswithInterVarsityPress,includingvariousbooksthataddresspracticaldimensionsofintegration.Contemporaryjournalsandmagazineshavealsoofferedmanypracticalsuggestionsforhowintegrationisdoneinthecounselingoffice.

Honestly,thesuccessofthismovementtowardpracticalintegrationscaresmeabit.I’llexplainmoreaboutthisfeelingoftrepidation,butbeforeIdothat,IwanttoofferwhatIshouldhavegivenfifteenyearsago:acarefuldefinitionofintradisciplinaryintegration.

HowDoWeIntegrate?

IaskedJenniferBearse,acurrentdoctoralstudentinclinicalpsychology,toreflectabitonherquesttounderstandintegration.Herwords,whichIthinkwouldbeechoedbymanycounselingandpsychologystudents,demonstratethisquestforapracticalunderstandingofintegration.

AsaChristian,IbelieveIhaveaccesstoasourceofhealingpowerthatgoesfarbeyondwhatIcanevenimaginetohelpmeworkwithmyclientsintheirpursuitofhealingandgrowth.Butlearninghowtoappropriatelybringthatpowerintomyworkasatherapisthasbeenachallengingjourneywithmanytwists,turns,anddetours,longonambiguityandshortoncompetence.HowdoI,atherapistwithaChristianworldview,engagethispowerinawaythatisfullofgraceandrespectformyclients,someofwhommayoperatefromentirelydifferentworldviews?

Tointegrateistoincorporatepartsintoawhole.Ibelievethisisagooddescriptionoftheworkwedowithourclients—wehelpthempulltogetherintoahealthywholethepiecesofthemselvesandtheirlivesthathavebecomesplinteredforanynumberofreasons.Frommyperspectivethiswouldcertainlyincludetheuseofspiritualtechniquesandinterventions,butmyclientsmaynotalwaysagreewiththisapproach.HowdoIworktothebestofmyabilitywithclientswhodonotacceptthelegitimacyofChrist’shealingpower?HowdoIusemyfaithinawaythatwillbringthegreatestbenefittomyclientswithoutignorantlyandcarelesslyimposingmybeliefsystemontothem?IsitpossiblethatthegreatestworkoccurswhenIsimplylivemylife,bothinsidethecounselingofficeandout,inawaythatreflectstheloveandgraceofChristtothosearoundme?Isthiswhereintegrationtrulybegins?Answerstothesequestionsareimperativetomydevelopmentintotheeffectiveandgrace-filledtherapistIaspiretobecome.

Jennifer’squestionsareimportant.Noticehowsheisthinkingofthepracticalmattersofwhathappensinacounselingoffice.QuestionslikethesearewhyIwrotethisbookinthefirstplace,andwhyIamupdatingitnow.Idon’thavealltheanswers,butIthinkyou’llfindhelpfulinformationinthesepages.

DefiningIntradisciplinaryIntegrationTwentyyearsago,StevenBouma-Prediger,thenadoctoralstudentatUniversityofChicago,wroteanarticleintheJournalofPsychologyandTheologyinwhichheoutlinedfourapproachestotheintegrationofpsychologyandtheology.51Thearticlewasanimportantoneinthefield,butsomehowImissednoticingituntilthelate1990s.WhenIfinallyfoundthearticle,ithelpedmedistillideasthathadbeenbouncingaroundinmyheadwhenIfirstwrotethisbook.Asanaside,Dr.Bouma-PredigerisnowatheologianteachingatHopeCollegeinHolland,Michigan.HehasgoneontowriteimportantworksonaChristianunderstandingofcreationcareandtheenvironment.Heisafinescholar,alwaysworthreading.

Inhis1990article,Bouma-Predigerdescribesinterdisciplinary,intradisciplinary,faith-praxis,andexperientialintegration.Interdisciplinaryintegrationbringstogethertwoormoredifferentdisciplines—psychologyandtheology,forexample—andattemptstofindconnectionsbetweenthetwofields.Theworkismostlytheoretical.Intradisciplinaryintegrationoccurswithinadiscipline.ThisistheprimaryfocusofPsychology,Theology,andSpiritualityinChristianCounseling.Mygoalistoprovideapracticalresourcewithinthefieldsofcounselingandpsychologythatistheologicallyandspirituallyresponsible.Faith-praxisintegrationisprimarilyethical.Faithshouldaffectthewaywelive,includingthetypesofclientswesee,thefeeswecharge,thewayswerelatetofriendsandfamilymembers,andsoon.ExperientialintegrationhastodowithourpersonalrelationshipwithGod,includinghowweexperienceGod’spresenceandhealinginourdailylives.

Bouma-Prediger’staxonomyprovidesahelpfulvocabularyforwhatIwastryingtowriteintheearly1990s.Thisbookisaboutintradisciplinaryintegration,providingusefulideasabouthowwedoChristiancounselinginawaythatisfaithfultopsychology,theology,andspirituality.Throughoutthebookyouwillfindhypotheticaldialoguesbetweencounselorandclient.IhaveofferedthesebecauseIwantthisbooktobepracticalandhelpful.Ithinkthishascontributedtothebook’ssuccess.Counselors—andstudentstrainingtobecounselors—arelookingforspecificexamplesofhowtodothisworkwell.

Here,then,isadefinitionofintradisciplinaryintegrationthatIoughttohavegivenfifteenyearsago:IntradisciplinaryintegrationinChristiancounselingisbothconceptualandrelational.Conceptually,itdrawsuponimportantideasfromtheology,psychology,andcounselingtheoryandofferspracticalsuggestionsforhowtheseconceptsareappliedwithinthedisciplineofChristiancounseling.Andpractically,intradisciplinaryintegrationinChristiancounselingisthoroughlyrelational—emergingoutofacounselor’srelationshipswithGodandothers,andultimatelyinfluencingclients’relationships.

NoticethatthisdefinitiondrawsuponallofBouma-Prediger’scategories.Inessence,itismeta-integration—integratingfourviewsofintegration.Bouma-Prediger’scategorieswereneverintendedtobecategoriesinisolation,butratherinterconnectedwaysofseeingthecomplexrelationshipsbetweenpsychology,theology,andspirituality.

MyTrepidationImentionedearlierthattoday’smovementtowardappliedintegrationisbothgratifyingandabitscaryforme.Itisgratifyingbecauseascounselorsweneedspecifictools,andnowwehavethem.Wehavemodelsforhowtohelpclientsforgiveoneanother,flowchartsforwhenandhowtopraywithclients,waysofusingsilencetohelppromoteawarenessofsinandinnerconflict,cognitiverestructuringtoolstohelppeoplethinkdifferentlyaboutspiritualandreligiousformsofanxiety,andsoon.Manyofthesetoolsareaddressedinthisbook,andIampleasedtheideaswritteninthesepageshavebeenhelpfulovertheyears.

SowhyamIfearfulaboutthepracticaldirectionintegrationhastaken?Becauseintradisciplinaryintegrationwasneverintendedtobeisolatedfrominterdisciplinary,faith-praxis,andexperientialintegration.Properlyconceived,intradisciplinaryintegrationflowsoutofadeepappreciationfortheologyandaprofoundpersonaltransformationcausedbyalifeinChrist.IfweturnChristiancounselingintoatoolbox—asetofstrategiesforchange—thenweriskcheapeningtheintegrationendeavor.Ifintradisciplinaryintegrationconsistsofmerelyasetofskills,thenoneneednotevenbeaChristiantoofferChristiancounseling.

Counselorsandstudentsofcounselingarenowmoreinclinedtoaskaboutpractical,intradisciplinaryintegrationthanabouttheoreticalmodelsortheologicalperspectivesonintegration.I’mlikelytohearaquestionsuchas“Whenisitethicaltopraywithaclient?”or“Woulditbeappropriatetosuggestalonelyclientfindalocalchurch?”Thetheoreticalquestionsofdecadespast—aboutvariousmodelsofintegrationorthepsychologicalimplicationsofPelagianism,orhowvariousviewsofatonementinfluencecounselingmethods—havelargelydisappearedfromourdiscourseinChristiancounseling.Thereissomethingunsettlingaboutthismovementthatfeelsalmostlikeabacklashoranoverreactiontotheexcessivemodelbuildingofearlierdecades.Sometimesitseemsweareaskingthepractical,appliedquestionstooquickly,andansweringthemquicklyalso,oftenwithoutconsideringthedeepsubstantiveissuesunderlyingthequestions.

OvertheyearsIhavenoticedasharpdeclineinthebiblicalandtheologicalproficiencyofnewpsychologygraduatestudentsinChristiandoctoralprograms.IseethisasareflectionofthelargerdirectionofthechurchandtheChristianfamilieswhoattend:wetendtofocusmoreonappliedethics—howweoughttolive—thanonthebiblicalandtheologicalfoundationsofourfaith.Thismaybeanimportantcorrectivetothehoursandhoursofflannel-boardBiblelessonsthatmanyofuslearnedinourchildhood,butIfearwemaybeoverlookingsomethingimportantbyveeringsofartowardmattersofpracticaltheologytothedetrimentofbiblical,historical,andsystematictheology.

So,amIreversingwhatIsaidin1996?No,notatall.Ithinkpracticalmattersofintradisciplinaryintegrationarestillcriticallyimportant,buttheyarecloselyrelatedtothethoughtfulinterdisciplinarydialoguebetweenpsychologyandtheologyandtothepersonal

qualitiesofthecounselorthataredevelopedthroughtheprocessofspiritualformation.Ifweneglecttheseconnections,thenweendupwithashallowsortofintegrationthatemergesmorefromacounselor’stoolkitthanfromthedeep,abiding,formativeworkofGod’sSpiritinourlivesandinouroffices.

FinalThoughtsAsdescribedintheupdatedintroduction,Iwrotethisbookduringatimeofpersonalstruggleandspiritualredefinition.Dr.JamesWilhoit,whocowrotechapter1withme,taughtthespiritual-formationclassthatchangedmylife.IrememberJimpressingustodistinguishbetweencounselorswhoaresimplydispensersofhealingtechnologyandthosewhounderstandtherichnessofspiritualtransformation.NowIstandatthedawnof2011withJim’swords—alongwiththefirstlineofRichardFoster’sbook—stillreverberatinginmymind.Superficialityisthecurseofourage.WhowillwebeasChristiancounselors?Willwebethosewholearnalltherighttrickstohelppeoplefeelbetter,orwillwebethosewhoseekdeepwisdomthroughstudy,meaningfulrelationshipsinChristiancommunity,andspiritualhumility?Whowillwebe?

AcknowledgmentIappreciatethewordsofJenniferBearse,includedasasidebarinthisupdate.Jenniferwasanundergraduatestudentinmycounselingclassinthe1990s,andthen,afteracareerinbusiness,shedecidedtoreturnfordoctoraltraininginclinicalpsychology.SonowIagainhavetheprivilegeofhavingherasastudent,andasamemberofmyresearchteam.

AdditionalReadingChristianSmithandMelindaLundquistDenton,SoulSearching:TheReligiousandSpiritualLivesofAmericanTeenagers(NewYork:OxfordUniversityPress,2005).

BibliographyBouma-Prediger,Steven.“TheTaskofIntegration:AModestProposal.”JournalofPsychologyandTheology18(1990):21–31.

Foster,RichardJ.CelebrationofDiscipline:ThePathtoSpiritualGrowth.SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988.

2

TowardPsychologicalandSpiritualHealth

Withtheirminivanfullyloaded,cartopcarriersecurelyfastened,dogsafelykenneled,andtheironturnedoff,theJohnsonfamilypullsoutofthedrivewayfortheirfamilyvacation.WendallJohnsonisbehindthewheel,hummingatune,whenfamilymembersstartaskingquestions.

“Arewealmostthere?”hissix-year-oldasks.Chucklingtohimself,Wendallanswerscalmly,“Youmustbelookingforwardtogetting

there,Brian.”ScowlingatBrianandfeelingabitsmugabouthertwelve-year-oldsophistication,

Monicarephrasesthequestion.“Dad,abouthowlongdoesittaketodrivewhereweareheaded?”

“Yeah,”Brianadds,“arewealmostthereyet?”Wendallstopshumminghistunejustlongenoughtoreply,“I’mnotsure,Monica,but

we’llallknowwhenwearrive.Brian,thiscouldbealongtriporashorttrip.It’sjusttooearlytotell.”

Fromthepassengerseat,RhondaJohnsongaspsandexclaims,“Honey,weforgottobringtheroadmap!”Thekidsjointhepanicandaskaflurryofnewquestions.

“Calmdown,Rhonda!Kids,don’tworrysomuch.I’vecomeonmanyvacationsbefore,andIknowwhatI’mdoing.Wealljustneedtotrusttheprocess.Everythingwillturnoutfine.”

TheJohnsonfamilyisnotrelieved.Neitheraremanyofourclientswhenweexplainthecounselingprocesstothem.

SometimesItrytopicturetheanxietyofafirst-timecounselingclient.Aftertryingformanyweeksormonthstocopewithoutcounseling,thepotentialclientfinallysetsanappointmentandshowsupforthatfirstinterview.Theconcerns,whicharequitenormal,areseeninthequestions.Whattypeofcounselorareyou?Haveyouworkedwithotherswhohavehadtheseproblems?Howlongwillthistake?Whathascausedmyproblems?ThesearethesamequestionsWendallJohnson’sfamilymemberswereaskinghim.Doyouknowhowtogetwherewearegoing?Howlongwillittake?

SometimesouranswersarejustasfrustratingasWendallJohnson’s.Welookempathicallyatouranxiousclientsandsay,“Thismustbeadifficultstepforyoutocometocounseling,andyou’refeelinganxiousabouthowlongitmighttake.”Orweassurethemthatcounselingiscomplexandthatitisimpossibletotellhowlongitwilltakeuntilthejourney

isunderway.Wetellourselvesnottobeanxiousaboutwherethingsareheadedincounselingwiththetiredwords,“Justtrusttheprocess.”

Ononehandwearewisetobelieveintheprocessofcounseling.Aconfiding,trustingrelationshipwithacounselorhelpspeoplegetbetter.52Butwearealsowisetobelieveinroadmaps.Processalonehelps,andmostpeopleeventuallygetbetter,butaroadmaphelpsmaketheprocessefficient.IftheJohnsonshaveabasicunderstandingofgeography,theywilleventuallygettotheirdestination,evenwithoutamap,throughtrialanderror.Butthat’snotwhatBrianorMonicaorRhondawants!Theywanttogetthereassoonaspossible.Similarly,ourclientswanttoreachtheirdestinationassoonaspossible,andtheywantacounselorwhoknowshowtohelpthemreachtheirdestination.

Mytheoreticalroadmapforcounselingiscognitivetherapy.53Ilikehavingamap.Ithelpsmegivedirectanswerstomyclients’questions.Afterafewsessions,Icanusuallypredictwithreasonableaccuracyhowlongcounselingwilltakeandwhatwewillbedoinginthesessions.Astrongtherapeuticrelationshipandtrustinthecounselingprocessareessentialingredientsofeffectivecounseling,butatheoreticalmaphelps,too.

SometimesIfeelanaggingdissatisfactionwithmytheoreticalmap.Iwonder,forexample,ifteachingmyclientspositiveself-talksometimesfeelstriteandsuperficial,asifIamtryingtoputaBand-Aidonagapingwound.Howshouldacognitivetherapistinterpretarecentstudythatsuggeststhereasoncognitivetherapyworksisthatgoodcognitivetherapistsemploythesamerelationalandaffectivesensitivityincounselingthatgoodpsychodynamictherapistsemploy?54AndhowdoImakesenseofthemanyclientsforwhomstandardcognitivetherapysimplydoesn’twork?Thosewhocomewithchronicpersonality-adjustmentproblemsoftendon’trespondtocognitivetherapyunlessthetherapeuticmethodsaresubstantiallyaltered.55Andthenthereisthebiggestconcernofall:mostformsofcognitivetherapyaresilentaboutthespirituallife,andthefewChristianizedversionsofcognitivetherapyseemsimplisticandnaive,asifacognitivetherapyworldviewhasbeenunquestionablyacceptedandthencloakedwithafewstrategicBibleversesandreligious-imageryexercises.

Thisisnottosaythatweshouldgiveupthetheoreticalmapsthatcounselorsandpsychologistshavespentdecadesdevelopingandresearching.Themapswehaveborrowedfrompsychologyhavebeenhelpfulandhaveledustothisnewfrontierofintradisciplinaryintegration.Butcantheyleadusfurther?Atthefrontier,weneedbettermaps.

MappingSpiritualandPsychologicalHealthChristiancounselingismorecomplexthanotherformsofcounselingbecauseourgoalsaremultifaceted.Whereasthebehavioristcanfocusonsymptomreductionandthepsychoanalystonegostrength,Christiancounselorsareconcernedwithspiritualgrowthaswellasmentalhealth.Yetmostofthemapsweusefortherapyarebasedonlyonmentalhealthandhavebeendevelopedwiththeassumptionthatmentalhealthcanbeseparatedfromthespirituallife—anassumptionthatmostChristiancounselorsdonotshare.

Weneedamapforspiritualgrowth.ThismapmustbetruetoScriptureandtheologicallysoundyetcompletelyrelevanttothevariousmentalhealthproblemswesee.Furthermore,itmustbeapracticalmap,notoneofthosecomplexfiguresthatcanbeunderstoodonlybyphilosophersandtheologiansandhaslimiteduseinthecounselingoffice.Andideallyitshouldbeamapthatwecansuperimposeonthestandardtheoreticalmapsofcounseling.Mostofusdonotwanttoreplaceourtheoreticalcommitmentstobehavioral,cognitive,psychodynamic,familysystems,andotherformsoftherapy,butwewantadeeperunderstandingofthespirituallifeandspiritualwisdomtoseeourselves,ourclients,andourcounselingrelationshipsmoreaccurately.Finally,itshouldbeamapthatassumesneitheraone-to-onecorrespondencebetweenspiritualandpsychologicalhealthnorcompleteseparationbetweenthetwo.

ThemapIbeginwithissimple,almostembarrassinglysimple,butitprovidesanimportantstartingpointfordiscussionsaboutreligiousissuesandinterventionsinsubsequentchapters.

APatternofHealingThehealingmotifwoventhroughoutthenarrativeofhumanhistoryreflectsacommonpatterntohealingandhealth.Weseethispatterningoodliterature,inScripture,inthechurchcalendar,inoneanother’slives.Figure1demonstratesthepatterngraphically.

Thispatternbeginswithourdistortingwhatisgoodintosomethingevil.Godcreatedhumanswithvolition,acapacityforagencyandselfhood.Thiscapacityforselfisgood;itallowsustochoosetobelovingandkind,toenterintomeaningfulrelationshipswithGodandothers,toexercisecreativeenergyinourworkandplay,tosetandreachgoals.Butwe,likeAdamandEve,arepronetotakeourfreedomtoofar,assertingourself-sufficiencyandfreedomwithoutconsideringtheconsequences.

Theconsequencesofunboundedindependencearewoundedness,brokenness,andpain.Theadultwhoassertswillfulindependencebyabusingachildcausesgreatpaininmanylives.Theyoungchildwhooverestimateshisorhercapacitytohandlethedemandsofabusyshoppingmallendsuplostandalone,cryingforalovingparent.Thehusbandorwifewhocaresmoreaboutfreedomandindependencethanaboutsacrificialloveandmutualsubmissionultimatelyfacesgreatpain.And,asweseethroughouttheOldTestament,anationthatturnsawayfromGodfacespainandloss.

Eventuallythemythofself-sufficiencysours,andweareleftstaringatourneediness,confrontedwiththebrokennessandpainthathaveshadowedindependencethroughouthumanhistory.Sometimespainiscausedbypersonalrebellion;othertimesdeepwoundsresultfromtherebellionandsinofothers.

Weoftenthinkofbrokennessandneedinessasbad,butthegiftofpaindrawsusintocommunitywithGodandoneanother.Inthemidstofdeeppainandbrokenness,anadultabusedasachildreachestoacounselorforhelp.AchildlostinthemallinstinctivelywailsuntilMomandDadcomerunning.Acoupleincrisislearnshowtolistentooneanother,tounderstandwhatsacrificiallovemeans.TheOldTestamentnationofIsrael,thoughrepeatedlyrebelliousagainstGod,alsorepeatedlyrepentedandexperiencedGod’srich

blessings.AttheheartofChristianspiritualityisahealingrelationshipwithGod.Wewerebroken

anddeadinourlifeofsinwhen“God,whoisrichinmercy,outofthegreatlovewithwhichhelovedusevenwhenweweredeadthroughourtrespasses,madeusalivetogetherwithChrist”(Eph.2:4-5).BrokennessisaprerequisitetounderstandingGod’sgrace,buttheChristiangospeldoesnotleaveusinastateofbrokendespair.EasterfollowsLent.TheapostlePaulwasblindedsohecouldreceivetruesight.Jonah,Esther,Elijah,Moses,Peter,Elizabeth,David,Joseph,Anna,andvirtuallyeveryotherBibleheroknewthejoyofGod’sgracebecausetheyendureddifficultcircumstancesandtimesofsuffering.Redemptiongiveshopeandmeaningtofallenhumans.“Weepingmaylingerforthenight,butjoycomeswiththemorning”(Ps.30:5).

Thissimplepatterncanbeseenallaroundus.Considertheseexamplesfromthreeareas:humandevelopment,spiritualgrowth,andpsychologicalchange.

Example1:HumanDevelopmentFromtheperspectiveofhumandevelopment,weseethispatternemergingaschildrenlearntodistinguishthemselvesfromtherestoftheirworld.Theyexplore,becomeautonomous,andoftengrowstubborn.56Parentscomplainoftheterribletwos,butitwouldbeevenmoreterribleifatwo-year-oldsatpassivelystaringintospaceallday.Theenergetic,exploring,ambitioustwo-year-oldexemplifiesthehumanquestforunderstandingandadventure.Althoughthisdriveforautonomyisanessentialgoodinhumandevelopment,thereisanaturallimittoautonomy,andthatlimitisdefinedbypain.Aschildrenencounterthetrialsofhunger,injury,orloneliness,theynaturallyturntotheircaregiverforhelpandcomfort.

Example2:SpiritualGrowthThesamepatterncanbeseeninthespirituallife.InordertodrawclosetoGod,tounderstandhisgraceandlove,wemustalsounderstandourneedforGod.Jameswrites,“‘Godopposestheproud,butgivesgracetothehumble.’SubmityourselvesthereforetoGod...HumbleyourselvesbeforetheLord,andhewillexaltyou”(James4:6-10).TheapostlePaulreflectsonthispatternwhenhedescribeshisfallennessandhisstrugglewithexcessiveindependenceinRomans7andthenreflectsonGod’simmensegraceinthenextchapter.PaulcouldnotfindGod’shealingloveuntilheacknowledgedhisbroken,needycondition.

Spiritualtransformation,fromaChristianperspective,alwaysinvolvesanawarenessofneediness,asillustratedonWheatonCollege’scampusin1995.StudentssensedthestirringoftheHolySpiritforrevivaloncampus,andhundredscorporatelyconfessedthelimitsoftheirabilitiestohandlethestressesandtemptationsofcollegelifeintheirownpower.Eacheveningforalmostaweek,morethanathousandstudentsmetforprayerandconfessionuntiltheearlymorninghours.Aftertheweekofcorporateconfession,smallaccountabilitygroups

wereformed,andstudentscontinuedtomeettogether,confesstheirsins,andseekspiritualandemotionalrestoration.Thisspiritualrevivalwasabeautifulreflectionofthissimplepatternofhealing.Collegestudentsvalueindependence—breakingawayfromfamilyanddevelopingone’sownidentityisthecrisisofearlyadulthood,accordingtoErikErikson.57Butcollegestudents,liketherestofus,sometimesoveradjustandasserttoomuchindependence.Inthemidstofcampusrevival,studentsacknowledgedtheirbrokennessandtheirneed.Menandwomenwaitedinline,sometimesforhours,togettothemicrophoneandpubliclyconfesstheirfallencondition.Theybroughttheirsymbolsofexcessiveindependence—CDs,magazines,andbooksthatcausedthemtostumblespiritually—andvoluntarilyhandedthemovertobedestroyed.Perhapsthemostmovingandpowerfulpartoftherevivalprocesswasnotwatchingstudentsconfessinacrowdedauditoriumbutwhathappenednext.Eachtimesomeoneleftthemicrophone,heorshewasimmediatelysurroundedbyagroupofconcernedstudents,faculty,andstaff.Theykneltonthefloorandprayedforoneanother.HealingrelationshipswithGodandotherswereestablishedwhenbrokennessandneedwereopenlyacknowledged.58

Example3:PsychologicalChangeAthirdexampleofthispatternofhealingcansometimesbeseeninpsychologicalgrowth.Theproliferatingrecoverymovementisbasedontheassumptionthatpeoplemustacknowledgetheirpowerless,brokenconditionbeforetheycanimprove.Byattendingtwelve-stepmeetingsfrequently,recoveringaddictsrepeatedlyacknowledgetheirbrokennessanddrawtogetherwithothersinahealingcommunity.Thissameprocessissometimesseeninthecounselingoffice.

WhatIfThisHappened?

WhenKarenandBillarrivefortheirfirstcounselingsession,angerispaintedallovertheirfaces.BilldescribeshisfeelingsofbetrayalandhurtoverKaren’srecentaffair.Karenfeelsjustified,blamingBill’semotionaldistanceandlackofaffection.Astheweeksgoby,eachbeginstotakemoreresponsibility.Eventuallytheybothconfronttheirpersonalselfishnessandsinfulnessandexpresssorrowandremorsetooneanother.Withtime,theirrelationshipheals,andtheydrawclosetooneanother.

KarenandBillstartedcounselinginastateofstubbornself-sufficiency.Eachhadtransgressed,valuingselfaboveother,avoidingblamebyaccusingeachother.Butwithtimetheyeachacceptedtheirfallen,needy,brokencondition.Fromtheirpointofbrokennesstheycouldreachouttooneanotherandestablishahealingbond.

Alltheseexamplesdemonstratethissimplepatternofhealing:ourindependencegoes

toofar;weacknowledgeourbrokennessandourneed;andwearewelcomedintolovingrelationshipwithGodorothers.Unfortunately,lifedoesn’talwaysworkasneatlyastheseexamplesmightimply.Astheygrow,somechildrencontinuetoassertexcessiveindependenceandseemunabletorecognizetheirneedforothers.Sometimesspiritualbrokennessturnsintochronichelplessnessanddespair.Somecouplesneveracknowledgetheirresponsibilitiesincounseling,andtheyendupbitteranddivorced.Manypeopleinrecoveryendupsinkingbackintopatternsofaddiction.Thus,thissimplepatternofhealingisnotanadequateroadmaptounderstandthecomplexitiesofpsychologicalandspiritualhealth.

ProblemswiththeMapMapsonlyrepresentreality,andsimplemapsomitmanycomplexitiesforthesakeofmakingrealityeasilyunderstood.IftheJohnsonfamilyendsupbuyingasimplemapontheirfamilyvacation,theymightfindthefreewaysthattakethemclosetotheirdestination.Butthecomplexities—thebackroadsleadingtothemountaincabin—willbeomitted.Thesimplemapisn’twrong;itjustleavesoutdetails.

Thepatternofhealingdiscussedthusfarcapturesandhelpssimplifymuchaboutspiritualandpsychologicalhealth,butitleavesoutmanydetails.Thereareseveralvalidcriticismsofthissimplemodelofhealth.

Problem1First,thispatternofhealingimpliesalinearprogressionthatisnottrueineverysituation.Sometimesweenterastateofbrokennessnotbecauseofourownstubbornindependencebutbecausewearewoundedbyothers’sins.Sometimesweseeourbrokennessonlyafterexperiencingahealingrelationship.Sometimesahealingrelationshipenhancesourcapacityforahealthysenseofself.Sometimesbrokennesshasadifferenteffectandleadsusawayfromhealthyrelationshipsratherthantowardthem.

Problem2Second,thismodelofhealthassumesinsightandself-awareness,anassumptionthatdoesnotholdtrueforeveryone.Itassumesthecapacitytoassertone’swill,butmanypeoplehavelearnedtobepassiveandhelplessinlife,rarelyexertingtheirwill.Itassumesanabilitytoseevalueinbrokenness,butmanypeopleretreatintoavictimstanceormaladaptivedefensesinthepresenceofpain.Itassumesthatpeoplehavethesocialskillstoenterintohealthyhumanrelationships,anassumptionthatdoesnotapplyequallywelltoallpeople.Whencounselorsassumetheirclientsareinsightfulandhaveself-awareness,theyriskoversimplifyingcomplexanddifficultpsychologicalproblems.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Jillcomesforherfirstcounselingsessioncomplainingofhowbadlypeopletreatheratwork,howherloverelationshipshavenotworkedoutwell,andhowdifficultotherpeopleare.Shedescribesheremotionswithintensity.Infact,intenseisagoodwaytodescribeherlife.Shepursuesrelationshipsintensely,experiencesanger,love,joy,andfearintensely,andeventalksintensely.Bytheendofthefirstsessionyoucantellthatshelikesyouintenselyandlooksforwardtoyournextmeeting.Astheweekspass,youfindherunpredictableanddifficult.Hermoodsarevolatileandintense.Shecallsyouathomefrequently,andsheaccusesyouofsayingthingsyoudon’tremembersaying.

Youthinkaboutthissimpleroadmapofhealthanddecidesheneedstounderstandhersinandbrokennessbeforeshecanfindahealingrelationshipwithatherapistoranyoneelse.YousuggestthatJillmemorizecertainBiblepassagesandconfessherpastsinsagainstGodandothers.Butasyoustartnarrowinginonherweaknessesandproblems,shedecompensates.Shestartscuttingherwristsathome,callingyouinthemiddleofthenightwithsuicidalplans,showingupatyourofficeatunscheduledtimes,demandingtoseeyou.Jillhasbecomeworseratherthanbetter.

Jill’spatternofbehavior,consistentwiththeconditionknownasborderlinepersonalitydisorder,needstobeconsideredbeforeapplyingthis(orany)modelofhealth.Sheisunabletocopewithhersenseofbrokennessbecauseshehasnotyetlearnedacapacityforunderstandingandplacingappropriatevalueonherself.Inapsychologicalsense,Jillinvalidatesherownexperience,lookingtootherstounderstandwhatsheshouldbethinkingandfeeling.59Thus,herfragileemotionalresourcesandhermechanismsofself-protectionkeepherfromlookinginsightfullyatherownbrokenness.Shewilldecompensateifacounselorpusheshertowardconfessingpersonalsin.ThereishopeforJill,andshemayeventuallybestrongenoughtoseeherselfmoreclearly,butonlyafterthetherapeuticrelationshipissafeandconsistentenoughthatshebeginstounderstandandvalueherownexperiencesasdistinctfromothers’.

Problem3Athirdproblemwiththissimplemodelofhealthisthedifficultyofproperlyunderstandingahealthystateofbrokenness.Thisislikewalkingatightrope.Ifweleantoofarinonedirection—thedirectioncounselorshavetypicallyleaned—thenweviewallhumandiscomfortasproblematicandmaytrytoexcuseourclientsprematurelyfromtheirhealthysorrow.Discomfortoftenmotivatesinsight,andwhenweuseclinicaltrickstoerasemiseryprematurelyfromourclients’lives,weshort-circuittheiropportunitiesforemotionalandspiritualgrowth.ThroughoutScriptureandthroughoutthehistoryoftheChristianchurch,Godhasusedpaintobringpeopletomaturity.WhatifJobhadgoneforcognitivetherapyandlearnedtotalktohimselfindifferentways?

“It’snotawfulthatmyfamilydied,Icanalwayshaveanotherfamily.”

“Myfriendsaresayingsometoughthings,butitdoesn’treallymatterwhattheythinkanyway.”

OrwhatifDavidhadlearned“healthy”self-talkafterNathanconfrontedhimaboutadulteryandmurder?

“Thiswasabadthingtodo,butotherpeopledobadthingsallthetime,too.Idon’thavetoupsetmyselfaboutthis.”

“Ihavelearnedfrommymistakes,andthereisnopointinblamingmyselforthinkingofmyselfasabadperson.”

ButGodusedpaintoshapeJob’sandDavid’scharacters.HereiswhatJobandDavidreallysaid:

[Jobsaid,]“Ihadheardofyoubythehearingoftheear,butnowmyeyeseesyou;thereforeIdespisemyself,andrepentindustandashes.”(Job42:5-6)

[Davidsaid,]“ForIknowmytransgressions,andmysiniseverbeforeme.Againstyou,youalone,haveIsinned,anddonewhatisevilinyoursight,sothatyouarejustifiedinyoursentenceandblamelesswhenyoupassjudgment.Indeed,Iwasbornguilty,asinnerwhenmymotherconceivedme.”(Ps.51:3-5)

Aswesensitivelyallowourclientstofeelpainandbrokenness,theyareabletoseethemselves,others,andGodmoreaccurately.

Wefacethedangerofidealizingpainifweleantoofarintheotherdirectiononthistightrope.Someformsofpainarealmostalwaysdestructiveandshouldnotbeseenasagatewaytoinsight.Whenweconfuseahealthyawarenessofhumanfallennesswithunhealthyexperiences,suchashelplessnessandclinicaldepression,weriskhurtingthoseseekingourhelp.Inthemidstofclinicaldepression,peoplearenotsadsimplybecauseofthehumancondition;theyaresurroundedbyunrealisticfeelingsofworthlessnessandhopelessness.AhealthyawarenessofhumanfallennessenhancesourrelationshipwithGodbygettingoureyesoffourselvesandontoGod’smagnificentcharacter.Clinicaldepressiondoesjusttheopposite,trappingpeopleinacycleofself-absorptionandsappingspiritualandpsychologicalinsight.

Problem4Fourth,thissimplemapimpliesthathealthistantamounttocloserelationships.ThisistrueonlyinourrelationshipwithGod.Otherrelationshipssometimesdisappointanddevastateandevokeourself-sufficiencyandsinfulnessinwaysthatarefarfromhealthy.Manycloserelationshipsdomoredamagethangood.

Evenacounselingrelationship,thoughasignificantpartofeffectivetreatment,ispronetoself-servingdistortion,manipulation,andabuse.60Whenthecounselingrelationshipworkswell,itisbecauseitmimicstheredemptiverelationshipChristiansexperiencewithGodthroughJesusChrist.Unfortunately,wecounselorssometimesforgetthatourbestworkisonlyapoorimitationofGod’sredemptivenature,andwestartseeingourselvesaspowerfulsaviors.

“Thecloser,thebetter”isagoodmottoforourrelationshipwithGod,butbecauseofourhumancapacitytodistortandserveourselves,itisnotagoodmottoforacounselingrelationship.Effectivecounselingrequiresustoscrutinizethecounselingrelationship,lookingforindicationsofexcessivedependency,monitoringandunderstandingfeelingsoftransferenceandcountertransference,alwayskeepingtheclient’swelfareourfirstpriority.Closenessinitselfdoesnotproducehealth,butacounselingrelationshipcarefullymodeledafterChrist’sredemptiverelationshipwithhumankindcandrawpeopletowardgreaterspiritualandpsychologicalhealth.

Problem5Fifth,thissimplemodelofhealingimpliesthatourhumansenseofselfisbadbecauseitleadstorebellionandself-sufficiency.Thisisonlypartlytrue.Itiscorrectthatweareinalifelongstruggletokeepourindependence,ourwill,withintheboundariesofGod’swill.JohntheBaptist,afteratimeofhigh-visibilityministry,said,“He[Jesus]mustincrease,butImustdecrease”(John3:30).Wefacethesametasktoday—achallengingtaskinthemidstofaculturethatvaluesself-determinationandindependence.Butself,asdefinedbypsychologiststhroughoutthepastcentury,isnotallbad.Whencliniciansandpersonalitytheoristsspeakofself,theydonotrefertorecklessindependencebuttoacapacitytodistinguishone’sownidentityfromothersintheenvironment.61Thecapacitytomakedecisions,tofunctionwhenalovedoneisabsent,tohavepreferences,tosetgoals,andtodiscussfeelingsrequiresanawarenessofself.

Thus,thesimplemodelofhealingdescribedheremaybeahelpfulwaytoconceptualizespiritualandpsychologicalhealthundermanycircumstances,butitcanbedangerousifimproperlyappliedinacounselingrelationship.Weneedamapwithmoresophisticationtoguideusthroughthemanynuancesofcounseling.

AMoreDetailedMapAmorecomprehensiveperspectiveonpsychologicalandspiritualhealthrequiresustoconsiderself,brokenness,andhealingrelationshipsasinteractiveratherthanlinear,asshowninfigure2.

Allthreepartsofthetrianglecontributetohealth.AnaccuratesenseofselfallowsustorecognizeourresponsibilitytoGod,others,andourselves.Havingahealthyawarenessofbrokennesskeepsushumbleandhelpsusfightournaturalpropensitytowardself-centeredness.Healingrelationshipsallowustoexperiencegraceandhopeinthemidstoflife’strials.

Someformsoftherapyfocusmoreononecomponentthanothers.Behavioraltreatment,forexample,teachesnewskillstocompensateforpreviousmaladaptivelearning.Behavioriststeachclientstohaveahealthier,moreconfidentsenseofself.PsychologistAlbertBanduracallsthisself-efficacy.62Traditionally,cognitivetherapistshavefocusedonanaccuratesenseofself,butmorecurrentformsconsidertheimportanceofrelationshipsaswell.63Psychodynamictherapistsfocusonthetherapeuticrelationshipasessential,while

lookingforgrowthintheclient’sself-awareness.64Biblicalcounselorsfocusonthestateofbrokennessandtosomeextentonthetherapeuticrelationship.65Thoughdifferentapproachesemphasizedifferentpartsofthismodel,allthreecomponentsareimportantforspiritualandpsychologicalhealth.

Inastateofspiritualandpsychologicalhealth,thethreecomponentsinteractandcontributetotheothers.Webecomeincreasinglywillingtodiscussourbrokennessaswefeelsecureincloserelationships,andourrelationshipsbecomecloseraswehonestlyadmitourfaults.Anaccurateunderstandingofselfhelpsusadmitourneedsandallowsustobefullpartnersinmeaningfulrelationships,andrecognizingourneedscontributestoourawarenessofourselves.WeareabletodrawclosetoGodaswehumbleourselves,andweareabletohumbleourselvesaswedrawclosetoGod.

Abalancedsenseofself,brokenness,andcloserelationshipswithGodandothersbringmaturityandhealth.Unfortunately,theconverseisalsotrue:amisunderstandingordeprivationofanypartcanleadawayfromhealth.

AccurateSenseofSelfThosewhohaveanaccurateunderstandingandacceptanceofthemselvesarefreedtoexperiencegreateremotionalorspiritualhealth.Thisisnotthesameassayingthatweshouldallloveourselvesmore.Inmanyways,weloveourselvestoomuch.66Rather,Iamsuggestingthatweshouldunderstandourselvesaccuratelyenoughthatwecanstopworryingaboutwhetherwearebadorgood.Tobehealthy,weneedtomovebeyondapreoccupationwithself.

PsychologistAbrahamMaslowstudiedandwroteabouttheconceptofselfformanyyears.ThoughMaslowwouldnotagreethattheChristianfaithcanhelpleadpeopletoemotionalhealth,hisreportsofthecharacteristicsanddesiresofhealthypeoplewhohavemovedbeyondpreoccupationwithself(hecalledthemself-actualizers)areremarkablysimilartothefruitoftheSpiritdescribedbytheapostlePaulinGalatians5:22-23.67

PaulandMaslowFruitoftheSpirit CharacteristicsofSelf-Actualizers DesiresofSelf-ActualizersLove Profoundrelationships Unity,Beauty

Joy SpontaneityPeakexperiencesContinuedfreshnessofappreciation

Aliveness,Playfulness

Peace FellowshipwithhumanityAcceptanceofselfandothers

Simplicity

Patience Individuality,Richness

Kindness Unhostilesenseofhumor Justice

Goodness Efficientperceptionofreality Goodness,Values,Truth

Faithfulness Completion

Gentleness Balance,Harmony

Self-control Autonomy,Task-Centeredness

ThefruitoftheSpiritdescribedbyPauldonotcorrespondperfectlywiththecharacteristicsofemotionalhealthdescribedbyMaslow.Andemotionalhealthisnotexactlythesameasspiritualwell-being.However,weseesubstantialoverlap.Themoreaccuratelyweunderstandourselves,themorefreedomwehaveforemotionalandspiritualhealth.

FaultySenseofSelfWhenahealthysenseofselfhasnotbeenestablished,peopleeasilyslipintoavarietyofpsychologicalandspiritualproblems.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Jeffisatwenty-six-year-oldsinglemalewhoisstilllivingwithhisdevoutChristianparents.Asachild,hewasgivenaclearsenseofrightandwrong,andheworkedhardtopleasehisparents.Becausehishomelackedaffection,Jefflearnedtoequatehisworthwithhisoutwarddisplayofpiety.DuringhisyearsataChristiancollege,feelinglonelyandisolated,Jeffbecameobsessedwithpornographicmagazinesandvideos.Aftergraduating,hebecameamissionary.Duringhismissionarywork,hecontinuedtoviewpornographyfrequentlyandsecretly.Inthemidstofhisshameandconfusion,Jeffbecamemorewithdrawnandisolated.Heeventuallyhadabriefpsychoticepisodethatresultedinthelossofhismissionaryposition.Sincereturningtohishometown,hehasrenouncedhisreligiousfaith.Jeffnowworksinafast-foodrestaurant,isaheavydrinker,andthinksaboutkillinghimselfalmosteveryday.

Jeff’ssituationdemonstrateswhatcanhappenwithoutahealthysenseofself.Duringhischildhoodyears,Jeffdevelopedabeliefthathisvaluedependeduponhisabilitytoperform.Whenhewaslongingforahug,hereceivedinterrogationabouthispersonalquiettimes.Whileotherkidsweregoingtotheballparkwiththeirfathers,JeffwastryingtopleasehisfatherbysharingCampusCrusade’sfourspirituallawswithneighborhoodchildren.Whenotherchildrenwerebeingrockedtosleepontheirmothers’laps,Jeffwassittingatthedining-roomtable,fightingbackyawnsduringfamilydevotions.Jeff’sparentshadthebestintentions,andtheirspiritualpassionistobecommended,butJeffgrewupwithoutahealthysenseofself.Hesawhimselfasanextensionofhisparents,aworkerbeeforthekingdomofGod,butneverasachoosing,autonomous,creativeagentmadeintheimageofGod.

TheresultsforJeffweredevastating.Hisunhealthysenseofselfledtoself-absorption(hespendshoursthinkingabouthimselfandhislackofworth),self-hate(hewantstodieandevenplanswaystokillhimself),andalackofself-restraint(asseeninhispornographyandalcohol-usepatterns).Inpsychodynamicterms,hehaspooregostrength,asseeninhisdifficultyinmakingresponsiblechoices,hisoverwhelmingfeelingsofshame,andhisimpulsivechoices.

Jeffneedsacounselorwhowillhelphimcatchaglimpseofthewarmthhelongedforasachild,withintheboundariesofanappropriatetherapeuticrelationship.JeffneedstogrowintoanaccurateunderstandingofhimselfasapersoncreatedinGod’simage.

AccurateSenseofNeedJustasanaccuratesenseofselfleadstohealthandadistortedsenseofselfinhibitshealth,anaccurateviewofhumanfallennessfostershealth,whileadistortedviewleadstodenialanddistortion.RichardFosterremindsus:“ThecloserwecometotheheartbeatofGod,themoreweseeourneedandthemorewedesiretobeconformedtoChrist.”68

TheideaofadmittingthatoneisneedyisnotpopularincontemporaryWesternsociety.Weseeitasasignofweaknessandvulnerability.Somebuildpersuasiveargumentsthatemotionalhealthcomeswithautonomyandindividuality.Butthereisonlyonewaytospiritualhealth,andthatrequiresustorecognizethatweneedGod.SpiritualleadersthroughouthistoryhavewrittenabouttheirhungerandneedforGod.InthesixthcenturyBenedictofNursiadescribedaladderofhumility—twelvestepsthathelpusrecognizeourneedforGod:reverenceforGod,doingGod’swill,obediencetoothers,enduringaffliction,confession,contentment,self-reproach,obeyingthecommonrule,silence,seriousness,simplespeech,humbleappearance.69Thoughtoday’sProtestantsmightchallengeseveralofthesesteps,eachofthempointstowardacknowledgingneedasamechanismofspiritualgrowth.

FaultySenseofNeedUnfortunately,manypeoplehaveanunhealthyawarenessoftheirneed,whichcomplicatescounseling.Othertimes,counselorsactuallyfosteranunhealthysenseofneedbyconfusingneedwithvictimization.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Jeff’stherapist,Dr.UraVicktem,immediatelyrecognizesJeff’spainandhistendencytosuppressemotionsinordertoavoidconflict.SheencouragesJefftoexplorehischildhoodpain,totalktoanemptychairasifhisfatherweresittinginit.EventuallyJeffgrowsstronger,developsmoreconfidence,andbeginsdevelopingahealthysenseofself.BecauseJeffisstrongernow,Dr.VicktemconcludesthatJeffisreadytoconfronthisparents.Hedoesso,expressinghischildhoodpainandrequestingthattheynotcontacthimuntilhehasrecoveredfullyfromhischildhoodof“toxicfaith.”

ThegoodnewsisthatDr.VicktemhasimprovedJeff’ssenseofselfandhasprovidedacaringrelationshipforJeff.Inapsychologicalsense,Jeffmaybehealthierthanhewasbeforetherapystarted.ThebadnewsisthatDr.VicktemhasperpetuatedaproblemthatsaturatesthepracticeofpsychotherapybyusingJeff’sself-pityasatoolforbuildingrapport.Ratherthancomingtoahealthysenseofbrokennessandanawarenessofpersonalvulnerability,Jeffhasbecomeavictimofhispast.WiththehelpofDr.Vicktem,hehas

becomebitterandcynicalaboutparentswholovedhimdearlybutwhodidnotknowhowtoexpresstheirlove.

Effectivecounselingoftenhelpspeopleidentifypainfromtheirpastandsometimesrequirespeopletoconfrontparents,pastabusers,andothers.Butwhenthepain,anger,confrontation,andtherapybecomeawayoflife,thecounselingisnolongereffective.Inaspiritualsense,Jeffisnohealthierthanhewasbeforetherapy,andhemaybefurtherfromunderstandinghispersonalneedforGod.

Likemanysituationscounselorsface,treatingJeffrequiresacarefulbalanceofsupportandconfrontation.WithDr.Vicktem,Jeffreceivedhighsupportandlowconfrontation.Attheotherextremeofhighconfrontationandlowsupport,Jeffwillfinddifferentperils.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Jeff’stherapist,Mr.U.R.Cinner,believesJeff’spainresultsfromhispersonalrebellionandchoicesthathavedrawnhimawayfromGod.Hisparentswerenotperfect,buttheytaughthimrightandwrongandprovidedhimwithanessentialunderstandingofChristiandoctrine.

Mr.CinnerconfrontsJeffabouthissinfulchoices.HehasrebelledagainstGodandothersbyobsessivelyviewingpornography,poorlycontrollinghisuseofalcohol,anddeliberatelydisavowinghisreligiousfaith.JeffneedstorepentandtobedrawnbackintoChristiancommunitybyjoiningalocalchurch.

ThegoodnewsisthatMr.CinnerhasnotoverlookedtheroleofpersonalsininJeff’ssituation,asDr.Vicktemhad.ThebadnewsisthatMr.Cinner’semphasisonpersonalsinandbrokennesshasfurtherdamagedJeff’ssenseofself.Comingtoacounselorwasaboldactofself-careforJeff,andinreturnhereceivedthesamejudgmentaladvicehehadbeentellinghimselfforyears.Jeffmaycancelhisnextcounselingappointmentandsinkfurtherintofeelingsofhelplessness.

Somewherebetweentheseextremes,Christiancounselorsneedtocreateanurturing,saferelationshipinwhichclientscanacknowledgeanddiscusstheirsin.70Nestledinthishavenispermissiontotalkfreelyabouthumanfallenness.Jeffisafallenhuman,permeatedbytheeffectsofsin.Soarehisparents,siblings,childhoodfriends,peersatwork,andcounselor.Inthemidstofthishaven,Jeffcansafelyexplorehisfeelingsofsadness,grief,andangeraboutpastandpresentrelationships.Hecanalsoexplorehisownbroken,needycondition,adiscoverythatallowshimtoempathizewithhisparentsandotherswhohavehurthim.JustasJeffhasbeenhurt,hehashurtothers.Asheacknowledgestruebrokenness,heisabletodrawclosetoGodandothers.

ThisisadifficultbalanceforChristiancounselorstomaintain.Whenwesliptoofarinonedirectionoranother,weriskhurtingourclientsbydamagingtheiroftenfragilesenseofidentityorbysocializingthemtoblameothersfortheirpain.

Thisdifficultbalancecanbeillustratedwithamultiple-choicequestion.Inthemidstofacounselingsession,Jeffsays,“Ifeelsoemptyanduglyinside.IfeelasifI’mabadperson.ButI’mnotabadperson,amI?WhenIthinkIamabadperson,thenIgetreallydepressedandstartthinkingaboutsuicideandstuff.”

Howdoesthecounselorrespond?Iseethreepossibleoptions.

Option1:“Youarenotabadperson,Jeff.”Option2:“Let’sconsidersomeofthewaysyoufeelyou’reabadperson.”Option3:“Itseemsimportanttoyounottothinkofyourselfasabadperson.”

Althoughanyoftheseresponsesmightbeappropriateundersomecircumstances,mypreferenceisoption3.Option1tendstodismisspersonalresponsibility,buildexcessivedependencyinthecounselingrelationship,andpreventJefffromexploringhisfeelingsanddealingwithhisinternalsenseofbrokenness.Option2mightleadJefftoexplorehissinfulness,butitdetractsfromtheimportantemotionsheisexploring.Also,Jeffmightbelessinterestedinreallyexploringhisworththanheisinknowinghowthecounselorwillrespondtohisprovocativequestion,“I’mnotabadperson,amI?”Option3allowsJefftoexplorenotonlyhisfeelingsofinadequacybutalsohissin.Furthermore,Option3isaless-affirmingresponse,onethatmightpreventJefffrombecomingexcessivelydependentonhistherapist’sapproval.

ThisexampleillustratesthesensitivebalanceChristiancounselorsmustmaintaintonurtureaclient’sfragileidentitywhileallowingforanhonestdiscussionofpersonalfaultandhumanfallenness.Italsoillustrateshowthecounselingrelationshipmustbecarefullymonitored.

AccurateUnderstandingofHealingRelationshipsSpiritualhealth,fromaChristianperspective,isdefinedbythenatureofone’srelationshipwithJesusChrist.Psychologicalhealthalsorequiresacapacityforintimaterelationships.Thus,theChristianwhoispsychologicallyandspirituallywholeenjoyshealthy,intimaterelationshipswithChristandothers.Thisisnottosaythatrelationshipsaretantamounttohealth.Manycounselingclientsalreadyhavegoodcapacityforrelationshipsbutarestrugglingwithfaultylearningpatternsordifficultlifecircumstances.Butastheirself-efficacyimprovesandtheirlearningpatternschange,theyoftenexperienceevengreaterfreedomforhealthy,meaningfulrelationships.

Insomeformsofcounseling,thetherapeuticrelationshipistheprototypeofahealthyrelationship.Someclientshaverarelyexperiencedaconfiding,intimaterelationshipwith

goodboundariesuntiltheycomeforcounseling.Theylearnabouttrust,respect,care,andempathybyobservingandinteractingwiththecounselor.Inthissense,agoodcounselorisaministerofGod’sgrace,eventothosewhoknownothingofagraciousGod.

ThoughhedoesnotclaimtohaveaChristianperspective,leadingpsychotherapyresearcherDr.HansStruppisconvincedthat“therapists’skillscontributemateriallytotheoutcomeoftherapyandthattheseskills,ratherthanbeingspecifictechniques,aremuchmoreaccuratelydescribedastheabilitytomanagethecomplexhumanrelationshipthatistheessenceofpsychotherapy.”71Counselingofteninvolvesapplyingspecifictechniquestospecificproblems,butthetherapeuticrelationshipmaybeanevenmoreimportantvariableingoodcounseling.

FaultyUnderstandingofHealingRelationshipsSometimesthepowerofthecounselingrelationshipismisunderstoodormisused,andahealthyhealingrelationshipgiveswaytoaneutralordamagingrelationship.Whatgoeswronginthesecounselingrelationships?

Thecounselorsometimesenjoysthepowerofthehealingrelationshiptoomuch,resultinginanumberofproblems.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Jefffindsatherapist,I.M.Savyer,andimmediatelylikeshim.Mr.Savyerisattentive,interested,respectful,andempathetic.Infact,Mr.SavyeristhenicestpersonJeffhaseverknown.Together,Mr.SavyerandJeffexplorethepainofJeff’schildhood,concludingthathisparentswererigid,unaffectionatepeoplewhocaredmoreaboutthefamily’sreputationthanJeff’swelfare.TheylookatotherimportantpeopleinJeff’slifeandcometoequallycynicalconclusions.

Aftereverysession,Jefffeelsbetter.SomethingaboutbeingwithMr.Savyerjustmakeshimfeelbetter.Heisthankfulhefoundagoodcounselor.

AlthoughMr.Savyerhasexercisedgoodlisteningskills,heseemstobeforgettingthatheisparticipatinginatransitionalrelationshipforJeff.AlthoughJefffeelsbetteraftereachsession,hestillspendsmostofhisweekinhis“realworld,”interactingwiththepeopleheiscriticizinginMr.Savyer’soffice.Withoutintendingtodoso,Mr.SavyermaybecontributingtoJeff’stendencytowardsplitting—aphenomenoninwhichclientsseesomepeopleasallgoodandothersasallbad.Thecounselorinthiscaseisseenasallgood,andtherestoftheworldisallbad.

ArelatedproblemisthatJeffmaybecomeexcessivelydependentonhiscounselor.Somefeelingsofdependencyaretransferredontoacounselorbyvirtuallyallclients,butwhenthe

dependencybecomesexcessive,clientsoftenareinjuredbybeingcaughtinanunrealisticallylongcounselingrelationshipandbyexperiencingexcessivepainwhenthecounselingrelationshipisterminated.

Insomeextremecases,thecounselorusesthepowerofthehealingrelationshiptomeethisorherownneeds.Whenacounselorbeginsperceivingthecounselingrelationshipasawaytomeethisorherownneeds,anexploitiverelationshipoftenresults.72Soonthecounselorbeginsdisclosingpersonalproblemstotheclient.Sometimessexualintimaciesoccur,andtherelationshipbecomesemotionallyorsexuallydamagingtotheclient.

Counselorsarefallenhumans,justasclientsare.Weneedakeensenseofhumilityintheworkwedo,andweneedtorememberthatweareonlymodelinghealthyrelationshipswithourclients.WearenotsavingthembutpointingthemtowardaSaviorandtowardhealthyearthlyrelationshipsthatcanbeanongoingpartoftheirlives.

Counselorsplaythreerolessimultaneously.First,wearefullparticipantsintheinterpersonalinteractionsthatoccurincounselingsessions.Second,counselorsareobservers,carefullynotingthequalityoftherelationshipandcriticallyevaluatingwhatisandisnotgoingwellintherelationship.Third,weareengineersofthecounselingrelationship,adjustingtherelationshipbybecomingmorecompassionateandunderstandingwhenaclientfeelsalienatedandisolated,becomingmoredistantandguardedwhenaclientbecomestoodependent,andassertingappropriateboundariesthroughoutthecounselingrelationship.Therelationshipweestablishwithclientsisanimportantpartofthehealingprocess.

AssessmentastheRate-LimitingStepWhenchemistscomputetherateofchainreactions,theyrefertotheslowestreactioninthechainastherate-limitingstep.Theentireprocesscangonofasterthantherate-limitingstep.Commutersfindthesamethingduringrushhour,astheirtraveltimeisdefinedbythefreewaybottleneckwherefourlanesmergeintotwo.Incounseling,goodassessmentissimilartoarate-limitingstep.Theeffectivenessofcounselingislimitedbytheaccuracyofthecounselor’songoingassessment.Atheoreticalmap,suchastheonepresentedinthischapter,promotescompetentassessmentbyprovidingagaugebywhichwecanmeasureourclients’needsandprogress.

Iwasonatelevisionshowrecentlyinwhichaleadingfigureinbiblicalcounselingannouncedthatstudentsinpsychology,includingstudentsintheWheatonCollegedoctoralprogram,weretaughtnottopraywiththeirclients.AsquicklyasIcouldjumpintotheconversation,Ideniedtheclaim.ManystudentsinChristianpsychologyprograms,includingthoseatWheaton,areencouragedtopraywithclientsundermanycircumstances.However,beforeusinganycounselingintervention,includingprayerandotherreligiousinterventions,itiswisetoanticipatethepossibleeffects.Sometimesitisbestnottopraywithclientsinasession,andothertimesitcanbeavaluablepartofChristiancounseling.

ShouldacounselorhaveclientsmemorizeScripture?Isitwisetopraywithclientsduringacounselingsession?Shouldacounselorconfrontsininaclient’slife?Shouldclientsbeencouragedtoforgivethosewhohavehurtthem?Theanswerstothesequestions,whichwillbeconsideredindetailthroughouttheremainderofthisbook,willvaryfromoneclientandonesituationtothenext.Justasagoodbasketballcoachisabletowatchseveralplayersatonceandcallthebestplayforthemoment,aneffectivecounselorwatchesthesethreecomponentsofpsychologicalandspiritualhealth—healthysenseofself,awarenessofpersonalbrokenness,andconfidingrelationships—andadjuststhetreatmentaccordingly.

Effectivecounselingrequiresanongoingassessmentoftreatmentgoalsandtheclient,aswellasanaccurateself-assessmentofthecounselor.

OngoingAssessmentofGoalsMaggiecomesforcounselingbecauseofherrecurrentstress-relatedtensionheadaches.Kristincomesforcounselingbecauseshehasbeensuicidallydepressedforseveralmonths.Maggieishappilymarried,successfullyemployed,andspirituallyvital.Kristinlivesalone,driftsfromjobtojob,andfeelsGodcouldneverloveher.Clearly,thegoalsfortreatingMaggieandKristinwillbedifferent.

Currentstandardsofcaresuggestthatcounselorsshoulddefinegoalsandthenatureofthecounselingwiththeirclientsatthebeginningofthecounselingrelationship.73Itiswisetoreviewthesegoalseverysessionortwosothecounselingcanremaineffectivelyfocused.Maggieandhercounselorsettwogoals:reducingthefrequencyofherheadachestonomorethantwiceperweekandexperiencinggreatersatisfactionwithhercareer.Kristinandhercounselorsetfourgoals:reducingherlevelsofdepression,findingandmaintainingatleastonemeaningfulrelationship,findingsecureemployment,anddeepeningherunderstandingofGod’slove.

Thesegoalswillneedtobereviewedfrequentlythroughouttreatment.Whateverreligiousinterventionsareselectedcanbeevaluatedinlightofthesegoals.

OngoingAssessmentoftheClientAtfirstglance,itmayappearthatKristinneedsreligiousinterventionsmuchmorethanMaggie.Afterall,Maggiejustneedssomerelieffromherheadaches,andKristinneedsradicallifetransformation.Butacloserlooktellsadifferentstory.

Maggieentersintocounselinginarelativelyhealthystate.Shehasanaccurateawarenessofherself;sheisawareofherstrengthsandskills,includinghertendencytoworrytoomuchaboutunimportantthingsatwork.Sherecognizessheneedshelp,whichreflectsherawarenessofhumanbrokennessandneed.Andshehashealthyrelationshipsinherlife.Maggieisinapositionofstrengthandwillprobablynotslipintoastateofself-hate,beginseeingherselfasahopelessvictim,orbecomeexcessivelydependentonhercounselor.Hercounselorcanusespiritualinterventionswithconfidence.Infact,apublishedstudyhas

demonstratedChristianformsofdevotionalmeditationtobeaneffectivewayofreleasingmuscletension.74ThistypeofspiritualinterventionmightbeidealforMaggie.

SpiritualinterventionsmightalsobeappropriateforKristin,buthercounselorshouldbecarefultoconsiderthepossibleimplicationsbeforeusingtheinterventions.Kristinandhercounselormightfindithelpfultopraytogetherattheendofeachsession,butthecounselorshouldrememberthatprayerisanintimateactivity,andKristinmighteasilybecomeexcessivelydependentonhercounselor.Believinginthepowerofprayer,thecounselormightchooseinsteadtoprayforKristinprivately,outsideofthecounselingsessions.Similarly,Kristinandhercounselormightconsiderusingforgivenessofapastabuserasatreatmentstrategy.ButitwillbeimportantforthecounselortorecognizeKristin’sweaksenseofself-identity.Doesshereallyunderstandtheimplicationsofforgivenessbeforesheunderstandsthetollexactedonherlifebyherabuser?CansheunderstandtheactofforgivenessbeforeshebetterunderstandsthatGodhasforgivenher?Theseareimportantquestionsforhercounselortoconsiderbeforeusingreligiousinterventions.

OngoingAssessmentoftheCounselorMakingdecisionsabouttreatingKristinandMaggieismadechallengingenoughbytheirdifferentpersonalitiesanddifferenttreatmentgoals,butitbecomesevenmorechallengingwhenwerememberthatcounselorsalsobringstylesandpersonalitiesintothecounselingprocess.Somecounselorsarenaturallyconfrontiveandworktohelptheirclientsquicklyseepersonalsinandbeginmakingbetterchoices.Othercounselorsarenaturallysupportiveandworktomaketherapyasafeplacetoexploreavarietyoffeelings.Someareprimarilytrainedinpsychology,someintheology,someincounseling,andsomeinpastoralcare.SomeareReformed,somecharismatic,someAnabaptist,andsomefromotherdenominations.Someexperienceaprofoundspirituallife,andothersstrugglewithspiritualdisciplinesandpersonalpiety.Someareprofessionallytrained,andsomearepeercounselors.Somearepsychodynamic,somehumanistic,somebehavioral,somecognitive,andsomecomefromamyriadofothertheoreticalperspectives.Allthesedifferencesaffectourchoicesinusingspiritualinterventions.

Thenaturallyconfrontivecounselormayneedtodevelopextrapatienceinordertowaitforclientstogrowstrongenoughtobenefitfromprayer,Scripturememory,personalconfession,andsoon.ThepsychodynamictherapistmayhavetoworkhardtorecognizethesimplebeautyofChristianhumilityandnotconfuseitwithmasochismoradefenseagainstgrandiosity.Thenaturallysupportivecounselormayneedtodevelopbothdistancingskillstopreventexcessivedependencyandconfrontingskillstokeepclientsoutofchronicvictimroles.Thebehaviortherapistmayneedtoexertextraefforttoevaluatethetherapeuticrelationship.TheprofessionallytrainedcounselormayneedtorememberChrist’stransformingpower,whichisrarelytaughtintheclassroom.

Goodassessment,andgoodcounseling,startsandendswithasimpleSocraticadmonition:Counselor,knowyourself.Tothiswemustalsoadd:knowyourclient,knowyourgoals,andknowyourtheoreticalroadmap.

SummaryThroughoutScriptureandhistoryweseeahealingpatternthatrequireshumanstorecognizelimitstotheirself-sufficiencyandreachoutintheirstateofneedtoagraciousGod.Thissamepatterncanhelpusunderstandemotionalhealth,butwemustbecautiousnottoapplysuchasimplemodelinahaphazardorperfunctoryway.Amorecarefullooksuggeststhatspiritualandpsychologicalhealthrequireaconfident(butnotinflated)senseofself,anawarenessofhumanneedandlimitations,andconfidinginterpersonalrelationshipswithGodandothers.EffectiveChristiancounselingstrengthensallthreeoftheseareas.Unfortunately,therearemanydifficultiesintheprocessofcounseling,andafaultyunderstandingofself,brokenness,orcounselingrelationshipscanincreasetheclient’sconcernsandproblems.Fromthebasisofthistheoreticalmap,wecanbegintoconsiderthepotentialvalueanddangersofusingreligiousinterventionsincounseling.

Theremainderofthisbookwillusethefoundationestablishedinthesefirsttwochaptersasaframeworktoconsideravarietyofreligiousinterventionssuchasprayer,useofScriptureincounseling,forgiveness,andsoon.Eachchapterwillhavethreemainsections,asillustratedinfigure3.

First,eachchapterwillconsiderafewrelevantissuesfromtheexistingliteratureinpsychology,Christiantheology,andspiritualityinordertoprovideafoundationonwhichtobuildanaccurateunderstandingofthereligiousintervention.Volumeshavebeenwrittenfromeachofthesethreeperspectives,andIamnotsograndioseastopresumecompetenceortimeforathoroughreviewofanyofthisbook’stopicsfrompsychological,theological,andspiritual-formationperspectives.Rather,mygoalineachremainingchapterwillbetohighlightoneormorethemesfromthesethreefoundationalperspectivesanddiscussitsrelevancetoChristiancounseling.

Second,eachchapterwillevaluateeachreligiousinterventionaccordingtothemodelofpsychologicalandspiritualhealthdescribedinthischapter.Eachchapterwillevaluatetheinterventionsbyaskingthreequestions:Willthishelpestablishahealthysenseofself?Willthishelpestablishahealthysenseofneed?Willthishelpestablishahealingrelationship?

Third,eachchapterwilldiscussthesixchallengesforintradisciplinaryintegration,asdescribedinchapter1.

UponReflection

Inrereadingthischapteralmostfifteenyearsafterwritingit,Iamhappytohaveachancetoaddafewadditionalobservationsaboutpsychologicalandspiritualhealth.ManyChristiancounselorshavefoundthethree-dimensionalmodelofhealthdescribedheretobeuseful,particularlybecauseitoffersamultidimensionalperspectiveonhealth.Healthisnotmerelybiological,psychological,social,orspiritual;healthinvolvesallthese,andmore.

Still,IthinkitispossibletoenhancetheviewofhealthoriginallypresentedinthischapterbyconsideringtherichtheologicaltruthofwhatitmeanstobemadeintheimageofGod.AmorenuancedviewofwhattheBiblesaysaboutthistopicwillhelpusserveourclientsbetter.Second,anintroductiontopositivepsychologyisfitting.Third,itisimportanttonotethedevelopmentofthe“thirdwave”ofcognitive-behavioraltherapy.

ImagoDeiAsImentionedintheintroduction,myviewfrom2011involvesagooddealmoretheologicalreflectionthanwhatappearedintheearlieredition.Thethreedimensionsofhealthdescribedinchapter2reflectthemajortheologicalthemesofcreation(senseofself),fall(senseofneed),andredemption(healingrelationship).Thesearegoodasfarastheygo,butthereisanothertheologicalperspectiveonhealthtoconsider:theimagoDei.

Wedon’thavetolookfarintheBibletofindtheideaofimagoDei.ThefirstchapterofGenesismakestheremarkableclaimthathumansarecreatedintheimageofGod.Theologiansandphilosophershaveponderedwhatthismeansforcenturies,buthere’sonethingweknowforsure:themoreweresembleGod’simage,thehealthierweare.Jesus,theperfectimagebearer,istheexemplarofpsychologicalandspiritualhealth.

InIntegrativePsychotherapy(2007),ClarkCampbellandIexplorethreeviewsoftheimagoDeiinrelationtocounselingandpsychotherapy:functional,structural,andrelational.75Thoughphilosophersandtheologianshavedebatedtheseviews,thereisnodoubtthatallthreerevealdimensionsofGod’smajesticcharacter,reflectedhoweverdimlyinhumannature.Functionalviewsemphasizehowwearemadetobestewardsandmanagersovercreation.Healthinvolveseffectivelymanagingourselves,othersinourcharge,andtherestofcreation.Structuralnotionsoftheimagefocusonhumanontology—thenatureofourbeing.Wearerationalandmoralcreatures,farmoresothanthoseintherestofcreation.Relationalperspectivessuggestthathumansdonotcarrytheimagebythemselves,butthatGod’simageisrevealedinrelationship.Whenacounselorandaclientsitcomfortablysurroundedbyasenseofsafety,somethingbeautifulaboutGod’simageisbeingdemonstrated.

ThesethreeperspectivesontheimagoDeicorrespondnicelywiththreemajorperspectivesinpsychology,asshownintable1.Thisshouldnotsurpriseus,becauseGodistheauthorofalltruth.IftheologiansandphilosophersstudytheimageofGodinhumans,andpsychologistsstudyhumanbehavior,itseemsreasonablethattheywouldcometosomesimilarconclusions,whetherornotthepsychologistsacknowledgeGodasthecreatorofhumanity.Afterall,thisisGod’sworld,andeverythingwestudyhasGod’sfingerprintsalloverit.

Functionalchangeincounselingoccursmostlythroughtechnique-orientedapproachessuchasbehavioralandearlycognitive-behavioraltherapies.ClarkCampbellandIrefertotheseassymptom-orientedapproaches,wherethegoalistohelpclientsfunctionbetterbyaddressingsymptomsthatcauseconcern.Mostofthetechniquesthatcounselorsuseforbehaviorchange,suchasactivitymonitoring,behavioralactivation,thetriple-columnmethod,andsoon,aredesignedtoenhancehumanfunctioning.Theseareknownasthefirstandsecondwavesofcognitive-behavioraltherapy,withfirstwavebeingbehavioral-changestrategiesandsecondwavebeingcognitive-changestrategies.

Structuralviewsaddresshowhumansunderstandthemselvesinrelationtotheworldaroundthem.ClarkCampbellandIrefertotheseasschema-orientedapproachestocounseling,becausetheyaddresshowclientsunderstandandmakemeaningoflife.Morerecentdevelopmentsincognitivetherapyfitwellwithschema-orientedapproaches.76Whenweareworkingwithadepressedclient,forexample,therewillbesymptom-orientedissuestoaddress,butthesefunctionalconcernsareusuallyrelatedtoparticularwaystheclient

viewsself,others,andtheworld.EffectiveChristiancounselingneedstoconsiderthesemeaning-makingstructures.

Relationalviewsintheologyandpsychologyassertthathumansareattheirbestinthecontextofclose,confidingrelationships.FromaChristianperspective,thisinvolvesbothourrelationshipwithGodandourrelationshipswithothers.Thetraditionsofpsychodynamicandinterpersonalpsychotherapyemphasizethateffectivecounselingismoreabouttherelationshipbetweencounselorandclientthananytechniquesthecounselormayuse.ThelongerIdothiswork,themoreIleantowardrelationalperspectivesonhealing.Istillfindgreatvalueinfunctionalandstructuralinterventions,butIthinktherelationaldimensionofcounselingmaybethemostimportantofall.

Table1.MarkersofHealthinRelationtoTheologicalViewsoftheImagoDei

EarlierImentionedthatJesus—theperfectimagebearer—istheexemplarofhealth.Thismayseemconfusingwhenwelookattable1,becausethesenseofneedthatJesusexperiencedsurelywouldhavebeendifferentfromwhattherestofusexperienceinoursin-stainedcondition.Astheonlysinlesshuman,forexample,JesuswouldnothaveexperiencedmoralconvictionofsininthesamewaythatyouandIdo.Thisistrueenough,butwemustbecarefulherenottoslipintoadoceticheresy(thebeliefthatJesuswasn’tfullyhuman).ThepowerofthegospelrestsonthefactthatJesusdidexperienceneed.Thoughnotguiltyofpersonalsin,Christchosetobemiredinthemidstofcompromisedhumanity.God,whohadnoneed,becameneedyinordertobeinrelationshipwithus.

YoumusthavethesameattitudethatChristJesushad.ThoughhewasGod,hedidnotthinkofequalitywithGodassomethingtoclingto.Instead,hegaveuphisdivineprivileges;hetookthehumblepositionofaslaveandwasbornasahumanbeing.Whenheappearedinhumanform,hehumbledhimselfinobediencetoGodanddiedacriminal’sdeathonacross.(Philippians2:5-8,NLT)

Jesusspentnightswith“noplaceeventolayhishead”(Matthew8:20,NLT).Hefelthungryandsleepyandheavywithgrief.Hewasmisunderstoodandmaligned.“TheWordbecamehumanandmadehishomeamongus”(John1:14,NLT).HesweatdropsofbloodinGethsemaneandultimatelywascrucifiedasheboreoursin.

Jesushadneed.Iamconvincedthatheexperiencedprofoundawarenessofbothhisneedandours.Ifwewanttounderstandspiritualandpsychologicalhealth,wecanlookconfidentlytoJesus,the“visibleimageoftheinvisibleGod”(Colossians1:15,NLT).

PositivePsychologyBoththeologyandpsychologyaredrivenbyquestionsaboutthewaythingsare,andthequestionschangeovertimeaswelearnanddiscovernewthings.In1996(thesameyearthisbookwasoriginallypublished),MartinSeligmanbecamepresidentoftheAmericanPsychologicalAssociationandstartedtoaskanewquestion:whatifwestartedtostudywhatisrightwithpeopleandnotjustwhathasgonewrong?Hisbasicobservationwasthat“psychologyandpsychiatryhaddonereasonablywellwithmentalillness:suffering,victims,depression,anger,substanceabuse,andanxiety.Buttheyhaddoneverypoorlywithmentalhealth:positiveemotion,engagement,purpose,positiverelationships,andpositiveaccomplishment.”77Thisreflectsafundamentalshiftinthewaywelookedatpsychologicalhealth.Dowestrivefortheabsenceofpsychologicalillnessorforthepresenceofpsychologicalhealth?Thesearetwoverydifferentgoals.

FromaChristianperspective,positivepsychologycancontributetoourviewofpsychologicalandspiritualhealthbecausewenolongerneedtolooksolelyatourneedforhealingbutrathercancelebrateandbegratefulfortheimageofGodinourselves,inothers,andinourrelationships.Wecanlookatwhatis“true,andhonorable,andright,andpure,andlovely,andadmirable”(Philippians4:8,NLT)—theimagoDei—inhumanity.Inshort,wecanbegrateful.Researchinpositivepsychologyhasshownthatgratefulpeoplearehappier,healthier,lessdepressed,andmoreself-confidentthanothers.Aswedevelopanaccurateviewofself,boththegoodandnotsogood,wecanbegratefuland,inturn,healthier.

Third-WaveCognitiveTherapyWhenIwrotethischapterin1996,Idescribedmyselfasacognitivetherapist.AttimesIstilldo,butIamespeciallydrawntotheevolvingformsofcognitive-behavioraltherapy(CBT).First-waveapproachescameoutofthebehavior-therapymovementsandfocusedonhowtousebehavior-modificationmethodstochangehowpeoplebehave.I’veneverbeenparticularlydrawntofirst-waveapproaches,thoughIrecognizesomecanbeveryeffective.Second-waveapproachesemphasizechangingthoughtsinordertochangefeelingsandbehavior.ThesewereprominentwhenIwrotethisbookin1996,sowhenIdescribedmyselfasacognitivetherapist,itwasthisapproachthatIhadinmind.Butevenbackin1996Iwasuneasywiththeformulaicapproach.Changingthoughtsdoesn’talwayschangefeelingsandbehaviors,andIhavefounditmuchhardertochangedysfunctionalthinkingthanthepioneersofcognitivetherapyseemedtoimply.Thethirdwaveofcognitivetherapy—exemplifiedbyStevenHayes’sAcceptanceandCommitmentTherapy,ZindelSegalandcolleagues’Mindfulness-BasedCognitiveTherapyforDepression,andMarshaLinehan’sCognitive-BehavioralTreatmentofBorderlinePersonalityDisorder(whichexplainsDialecticBehaviorTherapy)—emphasizesamorepatient,acceptingapproachofdysfunctionalbeliefs.Thegoalistobecomemoreflexibleandopentoexperienceratherthananxiouslytrytocombateveryunwantedthoughtandfeeling.Thethird-wavetherapiesemphasizesocialcontext,relationalfactors,andtheneedtohonestlyacceptandacknowledgeourstrugglesratherthantodenyandresistthem.

Buthere’stherub:mostofthethird-wavecognitivetherapyapproacheshaveideologicalconnectionswithBuddhism—afactthatwillmakesomeChristiansnervousaboutincorporatingtheseideasintoChristiancounseling.Still,IreturntowhatIsuggestedearlier,thatGod’sfingerprintsareeverywhereincreation,soitneednotworryorsurpriseuswhenpeopleofdifferentfaiths(ornofaith)helpusseeimportantaspectsofGod’screation.Third-waveCBThelpsusseesomefundamentaltruthsabouthumannaturethatarealsotaughtinChristianity.Theideaofpatientlyacceptingourpainfulthoughtsandfeelings,acceptingthemratherthanpushingthemaway,isveryconsistentwiththeChristianideaofhumanbrokennessandsanctification.WearenotimmediatelyhealedofallpainwhenmakingaChristiancommitment.Rather,weareonalongjourneythatrequirespatience,time,andGod’spersistentgrace.Welimpalongonthisjourney,andthemoreimpatientwebecomewiththelimp,themoreinclinedwearetoinjureothersandourselvesalongtheway.

Ahealthysenseofself,need,andrelationshiprequiressomeofthepatienceandacceptanceseeninthird-waveCBT.Christtenderlytransformsus,sometimesovermanyyears.Similarly,Christiancounselorssitpatientlywithclientsastheymovetowardgreaterpsychologicalandspiritualhealth.

FinalThoughtsIfyouarebeingtrainedorhavebeentrainedinamentalhealthprofession,asIwas,itiseasytoresorttodefinitionsofhealthofferedbythedominantguildsofpsychology,socialwork,counseling,andsoon.Oftentheseareusefulviewsofhealth,butlet’snotforgetthedeepwisdomofScriptureandChristiantradition.InChristianityweseebothourbelovednessandourbrokenness,andwelearntotrustinGod’sloving,redemptivepresence.OurgreathopeisinChrist,theperfectimageofGodandtheonewhosavesusfromourpropensitytogetlost.Positivepsychologyisanencouragingtrend,andthereismuchtolearnfromthird-wavecognitivetherapy,butlet’snotforgettheessenceofChristiantheologyasourfundamentalfoundationforChristiancounseling.Ourfaithteachesuswhoweareandhowweflourish.

AcknowledgmentIappreciatetheassistanceofNicholasWiardainhelpingmeresearchandwritethisupdate.NickgrewupinWheaton,Illinois,soheandIwatchChicagoBearsgameswheneverwecan.HeisnowadoctoralstudentinclinicalpsychologyatGeorgeFoxUniversityandpartofmyresearchteam.

AdditionalReadingShaneJ.Lopez,ed.,PositivePsychology:ExploringtheBestinPeople(Westport,Conn.:Praeger,2008).

MarkR.McMinnandClarkD.Campbell,IntegrativePsychotherapy:TowardaComprehensiveChristianApproach(DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPressAcademic,2007).

BibliographyMcMinn,MarkR.,andClarkD.Campbell.IntegrativePsychotherapy:TowardaComprehensiveChristianApproach.DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPressAcademic,2007.

Seligman,MartinE.P.“PositiveHealth.”AppliedPsychology:AnInternationalReview57(2008):3–18.

Young,JeffreyE.,JanetS.Klosko,andMarjorieE.Weishaar.SchemaTherapy:APractitioner’sGuide.NewYork:Guilford,2003.

3

Prayer

“Isitokayifwepraytogetherbeforeendingtoday’ssession?”Christiansanswerthisquestionindifferentways.Somealwayssayyes,insistingthatprayerisanessentialpartofallChristianexperienceandshouldroutinelybeincludedinChristiancounseling.Otherssayno,assertingthatcounselingshouldremaindistinctfromspiritual-guidanceorpastoralinterventions.Eitheransweroversimplifiesthecomplexitiescounselorsface.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Ms.Henryisacounselingclientwhomyouhavebeenseeingfortwomonths.Referredbyherinternistbecauseofherexcessivemedicalandphysicalcomplaints,shequicklydisplayedsymptomsofsomatizationdisorder.Sheavoidsvirtuallyallpainfulemotionsandendsuphavingrepeatedphysicalproblemsasaresult—stomachpain,irritablebowelsyndrome,headaches,andsoon.

Duringtoday’ssession,youhavebeentryingtohelpMs.Henryunderstandherfeelingstowardherunfaithfulhusband.Sheinsiststhatsheisnotangry,thatsheiswillingtoforgivebecausesheknowsitisherChristianresponsibility,andthatsheprobablyneedstobemoreattentivetohissexualneedsathome.Throughoutthesessionsheshedsnotears,expressesnopain,andtalksofhowherChristianfaithhasallowedhertocopewiththis,herhusband’sfourthextramaritalaffair.Neartheendofthesession,shelooksatyouandasks,“Isitokayifwepraytogetherbeforeendingtoday’ssession?”

HowshouldtheresponsibleChristiancounselorrespondtoMs.Henry?Beforeansweringthisquestion,consideranothersituation.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Ms.Thomashasbeenincounselingforsixmonths,workingonherfeelingsofdepressionandfearsofabandonment.ShehasmadeexcellentprogressanduntilyesterdayhasfelthopefulaboutthefutureandclosertoGodthaneverbefore.Yesterday,hermotherdiedsuddenlyofaheartattack.

Duringtoday’ssession,Ms.Thomascriesfreely,expressesherpain,andreflects

onherfearsofbeingabandonedbythoseclosesttoher.Shestopscryingneartheendofthesession,putsherhandkerchiefinherpurse,andbeginstostanduptoleave.Youstopherandask,“Isitokayifwepraytogetherbeforeendingtoday’ssession?”

Ms.HenryandMs.Thomasareindifferentsituations,andtheeffectsofprayingwithMs.HenrywillbedifferentfromtheeffectsofprayingwithMs.Thomas.Thereisnotasimpleyesornoanswertoeitherscenario.Ononehand,agreeingtopraywithMs.Henrymightencouragehertocontinueusingherfaithasameansofdenialratherthanasaroutetotruth.Ontheotherhand,refusingherrequesttopraywithhermighthurttherapeuticrapport,andprayermightbeanavenuethroughwhichshecouldbeginexploringherfeelings.PrayingwithMs.Thomasmightlendasenseofcomfortandhopeinthemidstofherfeelingsofdespair.However,itcouldalsocontributetofeelingsofdependencyatatimewhenterminatingthecounselingrelationshipisimminent.Prayingwithhernowmighthelpbringherfeelingsofcomfortandpeace,oritmightcausehergreaterfeelingsofabandonmentlaterwhenthecounselingrelationshipends.

Oneofthecommonquestionsduringmygraduateschooldaysintheearly1980swas,“Doespsychotherapywork?”IrememberalectureinwhichHansStrupp,DistinguishedProfessorofPsychologyatVanderbiltUniversity,debunkedthequestion.Amoreappropriatequestion,Struppinsisted,was,“Whichtypesofpsychotherapyworkforwhichclientsunderwhichcircumstances?”Similarly,“Shouldcounselorspraywithclients?”isthewrongquestiontoask.Insteadweoughttoask,“Whichformsofprayershouldweusewithwhichclientsandunderwhichcircumstances?”

Ifwefocustoointentlyonthequestionofprayingwithclientsinsessions,weoverlookotherimportantquestionsaboutprayerincounseling.Forexample,howoftendowepraysilentlyforourclientsduringacounselingsession?Howoftendoweprayforourclientsoutsideofthecounselingsession?Whataboutdevotionalmeditationasaspiritualandpsychologicaltoolforrelaxationandanxietymanagement?Bylookingattheframeworkestablishedinchapters1and2,wecancometoinformeddecisionsaboutthequestions.

Foundations

PsychologyThoughitisbeyondthescopeofthisbooktogiveacomprehensiveliteraturereviewofprayer,itwillsurveytheprominentthemesinthepsychologicalliterature.Theliteratureaboutprayercanberoughlydividedintotwocategories:theeffectsofprayerandusingprayerincounseling.

TheEffectsofPrayerPrayerisacommonhumanexperience.StudiesshowthatninetypercentofAmericanspray.78However,studiesabouttheeffectsofprayeraresurprisinglysparseinthepsychologicalliterature,andmoststudiesthathavebeenreportedareplaguedwithsignificantmethodologicalproblems.Dr.MichaelMcCulloughhasrecentlypublishedareviewofthepsychologicaleffectsofprayer,includinghelpfuldiscussionsoftheproblemswithpreviousstudiesandideasforfutureresearch.79

McCulloughidentifiesseveralthemesregardingthepsychologicaleffectsofprayer.First,prayerisassociatedwithasubjectiveexperienceofwell-being.Comparedwiththosewhodonotpray,orwhoprayinfrequently,thosewhoprayoftentendtoexperiencemorepurposeinlife,greatermaritalsatisfaction,religioussatisfaction,andageneralsenseofwell-being.Anevenbetterpredictorofwell-beingistheextenttowhichpeopleexperienceasubjectivesenseofGod’spresencewhilepraying.Thosewhoexperienceprayerasadeeplysignificant,evenmystical,experiencehaveagreatersenseofwell-beingthanothers.Wemustexercisecautionininterpretingtheseresultsbecausemostofthestudiesreviewedwerecorrelationalinnature.Whentwovariablesarecorrelated,asprayerandwell-beingare,itdoesnotnecessarilymeanthatonecausestheother.Itcouldbethatpeoplewhoprayarehappierorthathappierpeoplepraymoreoften.Alternatively,therecouldbesomethirdvariablethatexplainswhyprayerandwell-beingarerelated.Forexample,itmaybethathighlyreligiouspeoplearehappierandthattheyalsotendtopraymoreoftenthanmoderatelyreligiousornonreligiouspeople.80

Second,McCulloughreviewstheliteratureonusingprayerasanaidincopingwithphysicalpainandmedicalproblems.Anumberofstudiesindicatethatprayerisahelpfulresourceincopingwithvariousmedicalproblems.Otherstudiesdemonstratethatprayerisusedoftenbythoseexperiencinghighlevelsofphysicalandemotionaldiscomfort.

Third,severalstudieshaveconsideredtherelationshipbetweenpsychologicalsymptomsandprayer.Thefewstudiesreportedsufferfrommethodologicalproblemsandshouldbeinterpretedcautiously,butprayerappearstobepositivelyrelatedtoabstinenceforthoseinalcoholtreatmentandnegativelyrelatedtofearsofdying.

Fourth,onewell-designedstudydemonstratedtheeffectivenessofintercessoryprayer.Patientsinacoronarycareunitwererandomlyassignedtoeitherthecontrolgrouporthegroupthatreceivedintercessoryprayerbyagroupthatmetoutsidethehospitalonaregularbasis.Neitherthepatientsnortheresearcherswhoassessedtheoutcomeknewtowhichexperimentalconditionthepatientswereassigned.Onsome(butnotall)oftheoutcomemeasures,therecipientsofintercessoryprayerwerehealthierupondischargefromthehospitalthanthecontrolgroup.Theprobabilityofsomeoftheobserveddifferencesbetweengroupsoccurringbycoincidenceorrandomchanceislessthanoneintenthousand!

ThesefindingswillcomeasnosurprisetothosewhoaccepttheBibleasauthoritative.

Nonetheless,thefindingsareimportantbecausetheytranslatetheeffectivenessofprayerintothescientificlanguagethatisacceptabletothoseinmentalhealthprofessions.Ofcourse,thesestudiesdonotspecificallyaddressthefocusofthisbook:Whatabouttheuseofprayerincounseling?

PrayerinCounselingBasedonsurveydata,prayerappearstobeafrequentbutnotroutinepartofChristiancounselingandpsychotherapy.81Prayerisusedwithsomebutnotallcounselingclients,dependingonthetheoreticalorientationofthecounselorandthediagnosisoftheclient.82Amongthosewhoviewprayerasanimportantpartofcounseling,themethodsofimplementingprayervarywidely.

Somestudiesadvocateprayingaloudwithclientsduringtherapysessions.Inarecentsurveyofdoctoral-levelmembersoftheChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies(CAPS),respondentsreportedusingin-sessionprayerwithapproximately30percentoftheirclients.83Therearemultiplemotivesforincludingprayerinacounselingsession.Somecounselorsprayinsessionbecauseprayercanenhanceclients’spirituallivesandclarifytheirperspectives.CraigieandTanwritefromacognitive-behavioralperspective:“Indeed,prayingwithclientsthattheymaybeliberatedfromresistantmisbeliefs,thattheymaybeempoweredtodothetruth,andthattheymaycomeintoadeeperrelationshipwiththetruthcansometimesbeamostpowerfulexperience.”84Othersreportusingprayerbecauseitmodelshealthyinterpersonalcommunication.Crockeradvocatesprayingwithcouplesinmaritaltherapybecauseprayermodelseffectivecommunication.“IbelievethatChristianpastorscanusethetraditionalformsofprayerasaguideinteachingcouplesandindividualshowtocommunicatewell,andatthesametime,canhelpthepersonstheyworkwithcometoadeeperunderstandingoftheChristianlife.”85Stillothercounselorschoosetopraywithclientsbecausetheirclientsdesireprayertobepartofthecounselingrelationship,andprayerenhancestherapeuticrapport.86

Itisimportanttonotethatnoneofthesereasonsforprayerismeanttoundermineordismissthespiritualpowerofprayer.Prayeraffectshumaninteractions,butmoreimportant,itisamethodofcommunicatingwithGod.“Itshouldbeemphasized,particularlywithprayerandimagery...thatwetakethepositionthatitistheHolySpiritwhoheals.Theimageryandprayerapproachesthathavebeendescribedarenottobeviewedasprimarilypsychologicaltechniquesorprocedures.Rather,theyshouldbeviewedasvehiclestoputclients,inthewordsofFoster,‘inthewayofGod.’”87Thus,foravarietyofreasonsmanycounselorschoosetopraywithclientsduringcounselingsessions.Todate,noempiricalresearchhasbeenreportedontheeffectsofprayingaloudduringcounselingsessions.

Othersadvocateusingmeditation,contemplativeprayer,orimageryincounselingsessions,techniquesthathavereceivedpreliminaryresearchsupport.88Carlson,Bacaseta,

andSimantonademonstratedthatmeditatingonScriptureandliturgicalprayerhelpedreduceangerandanxietymoreeffectivelythanprogressiverelaxationtrainingornotreatment.89Similarly,Propstfoundreligiousimagery,suchashavingclientspictureChristgoingwiththemintoadifficultsituation,helpedreducedepressionamongreligiousclients.90

Althoughin-sessionprayerandmeditationhavereceivedthemostattentioninthepsychologicalliterature,prayercanbeintegratedintocounselinginotherways.Somecounselorsprayduringsessionswithoutdisclosingtheirprayerstoclients.Prayingduringpausesintheconversationisoftenawaynotonlytokeepaspiritualfocusincounselingbutalsotokeepfromimpulsivelyfillingthesilencewithunnecessarywords.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Theresaisalaycounselorworkinginindividualandgrouptherapywithsurvivorsofsexualabuse.Shehasbeenalaycounselorfortwoyearsandfeelsgoodabouthercounselingskills,butshehasonenaggingproblem:shefeelsuncomfortablewithsilenceandcompensatesbychangingthesubject.Manytimesherclientsbeginexploringpainfulemotions,becomequiet,andthenTheresachangesthetopic.

WhatifTheresadevelopsanewhabit?Intimesofsilence,shetrainsherselftosilentlyprayfortheclientsittingacrossfromher.Lord,pleaseembrace_______withyourloverightnowassheconfrontsthispain.DearGod,pleasehelp_______seeyouclearly,eventhoughthereissuchacloudofevilinherpast.AsTheresadevelopsthisnewskill,shewillbeintroducingthepowerofprayerintohercounselingworkandbreakingabadhabitatthesametime.

Silentprayerduringcounselingcanalsobeusedtosustainthecounselorthroughdifficultandstressfulwork.SchneiderandKastenbaumsurveyedhospiceworkersandfoundthatprayerhelpedworkerscopewiththedemandsoftheirdailyinteractions.91Mostoftentheworkersusedsilent,private,spontaneousprayersandrarelyprayedwiththepatientsthemselves.

Anotherwayprayercanbeusedaspartoftherapyisbyencouragingclientstoprayoutsideofthecounselingsession.FinneyandMalonyfoundclients’contemplativeprayeroutsidethecounselingsessionstobeahelpfuladditiontopsychotherapy.92Thenineadultsparticipatinginthestudyweretrainedincontemplative-prayertechniquesaftersixweeksofpsychotherapy,thenkeptrecordsoftheirdailyuseofcontemplativeprayerthroughouttheremainderoftherapy.Theresearchersusedatime-seriesdesigntotesttheeffectsofpsychotherapyaloneversuspsychotherapypluscontemplativeprayer.Theparticipantsshowedastrikingdecreaseinsubjectivelevelsofdiscomfortasaresultofpsychotherapyplusprayerbutlittlechangeonthescalesusedtomeasurepersonalspirituality.Becauseof

thelimitsofthedesign(nocontrolgroup),itisdifficulttodeterminewhethertheoverallbenefitswereduetopsychotherapy,prayer,oracombinationofboth.Untilmoreresearchisreported,wecanonlyspeculatethattheuseofprayeroutsidecounselingsessionsprovidestherapeuticbenefit.

Finally,therapistscancombineprayerandcounselingbyprayingforclientsoutsideofthecounselingsession.Ontheaverage,doctoral-levelCAPSmembersreportprayingfor64percentoftheirclientsandviewitasavaluablepartoftheirclinicalwork.93Thehelpfulnessofprayingforclientsoutsideofacounselingsessionisimpossibletotestscientificallyinadouble-blindstudybecausecounselorswouldalwaysknowwhichclientstheyprayedforandmightinadvertentlychangethecounselingprocessasaresult.Evenwithoutscientificproof,wecanassumethatprayingforclientsoutsideofsessionshelpscounselorsmaintainaministryfocusandhelpscounselingclientsintheirspiritualandemotionalhealing.“Theprayeroftherighteousispowerfulandeffective”(James5:16).

ChristianTheologyTheologianJ.C.LambertnotesthatprayerhastwomeaningsinScripture.Inthenarrowestsense,prayerispetition,askingGodforsomething.Inthewidersense,prayerisworship,reflectingonGod’scharacter.94

PrayerasDirectPetitionPrayerasdirectpetitionisoftenusedbypeopleinneed,includingcounselorsandtheirclients.Butthiscreatesaninterestingtension.Ontheonehand,ifGodissovereignandalreadyknowsthefuture,thenwhatdifferencedoesitmakeforustopray?Ontheotherhand,ifprayercanchangethefuture,thenisGodnotreallysovereign?Thistensionreflectsthelargerdiscussionoftheologicaldeterminismversusfreewill,adiscussionthathasgoneunresolvedthroughcenturiesofdebate.Thoughwemustappealtoparadoxandmysteryratherthanattemptathoroughresolutionofthedebatebetweendeterminismandfreewill,MillardEricksonhelpsbydiscussingourpartnershipwithGodinprayer.95Whenwepray,wehumbleourselvesandasktobecomeapartnerinknowinganddoingGod’swill.Fromthispositionofhumility,wecanseeGod’swillmoreclearly,andGodgrantsusourdeepestdesires.Forexample,onlyPeterwalkedonthewaterbecauseonlyPeterasked(Matt.14:22-33).Bypraying,wecommitourwilltopartnershipwithGod’swill.

“Maytheforcebewithyou”isnotagoodunderstandingofpetitionaryprayer.Wearenotharnessingapowerthatwecontrol,andwearenotsimplycreatingapositive,expectantattitudeforgoodthingstocome.Rather,petitionaryprayercreatesinusalongingforGod’swill.“PrayerisnotsomuchgettingGodtodoourwillasitisdemonstratingthatweareasconcernedasisGodthathiswillbedone.”96Manyprayersarenotansweredthewaywewouldlike,butwearetocontinueturningourheartstowardGodandconformingourwilltoGod’swillinprayer.Eventuallywechange.“Inprayer,realprayer,webegintothinkGod’s

thoughtsafterhim:todesirethethingshedesires,tolovethethingsheloves,towillthethingshewills.”97

WearetoldinScripturetopraypersistentlybecausepersistentprayercomesfromasenseofcompellingurgency(Luke11:8-10).PrayerisnottobeacasualencounterlikeaChristmaslistforSantaClaus;prayershouldbeanextensionofthepassionsofourheart.Byprayingpersistentlyandconsistently,weremindourselvestoseekGodwhiletellingGodourdeepestdesires.

Usingpetitionaryprayerincounseling,wherethecounselorpraysfortheclient,canhelpmodelthequalitiesofeffectiveprayer.However,itcanalsointroduceproblems.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Mr.BaldwinpraysattheendofeachcounselingsessionwithGene,hiscounselingclient.Genefindsitreassuringandcomfortingtoknowhiscounselorpraysforhim.Genealsofeelshecanlearnaboutprayerbyobservinghiscounselor.HehasstruggledwithaninconsistentprayerlifeforyearsandfeelsrelievedtoknowthatGodisnowhearinghisneedsthroughhiscounselor’sprayers.

ThegoodnewsisthatGeneislearningaboutprayerandthathiscounselorisprayingforhim.Thereisalsobadnews.First,Genemaybelievehiscounselor’sintercessoryprayerremoveshisobligationtopetitionGoddirectly.IfprayerispartneringwithGod,thendirectpersonalpetitionisanimportantelementofeffectiveprayer.Second,ifprayerdemonstratesaperson’sdesireforGod’swilltobedone,thenitisanimportantpersonaldisciplinethatshouldnotberegularlydelegatedtoanother.Geneislosinganopportunityforshapinghischaracterbyrelyingonhiscounselortoprayforhim.Third,thepersistenceofeffectiveprayermightbecompromisedbythenaturallimitsofweeklycounselingsessions.ThebeautyofprayeristhatwecanapproachGodanytime:clientsandcounselorscanprayoutsideoftheofficeasfrequentlyastheydesire.Mr.BaldwinwouldbewisetoteachGenetopetitionGoddirectly,bothinsideandoutsideofthecounselingoffice.

PrayerasWorshipChristianprayergoesfarbeyondpetitioningGodwithourneeds.Inprayerweconfessoursinfulnature(Ps.51:3-5),givethanksforGod’sprovidencethroughouthistory(Ps.136)andinourpersonallives(1Sam.2:1-10),andexpressadorationtoGod(Rom.11:33-36).Inthiswidercontextofunderstandingprayer,manymysticsandreligiousleadershavewrittenaboutspiritualandemotionalhealing.98

Aswithpetitionaryprayerincounseling,thereisgoodnewsandbadnews.Thegoodnewsisthatcontemplativeprayerandworshipcanopenourspiritualeyesatthesametime

thatitcandistractusfromourhumanhabitsofegocentrismandself-absorption.Thosewhohavemasteredself-forgetfulnessunderstandworshipthroughprayer.Prayeris,asRichardFosterwrites,“findingtheheart’struehome.”99ItisalsogoodthatChristianmeditationappearstoprovidesignificantbenefitsinreducinganxietyandanger.100Thebadnewsisthatsomepeoplehavenotestablishedcarefultheologicalboundariesfortheirunderstandingofprayerandmeditationandhavedriftedtowardheresy.101Thus,counselorswhousedevotionalmeditationandprayerintherapyshouldcarefullyevaluatetheirmethodsfromtheologicalaswellaspsychologicalperspectives.

SpiritualityThecapacitytoexperienceGodthroughprayeristhecenterofChristianspirituality.RichardFosterbeginshisbookonprayerwiththisinvitation:

Godhasgraciouslyallowedmetocatchaglimpseintohisheart,andIwanttosharewithyouwhatIhaveseen.TodaytheheartofGodisanopenwoundoflove.Heachesoverourdistanceandpreoccupation.Hemournsthatwedonotdrawneartohim.Hegrievesthatwehaveforgottenhim.Heweepsoverourobsessionwithmuchnessandmanyness.Helongsforourpresence.

Andheisinvitingyou—andme—tocomehome,tocomehometowherewebelong,tocomehometothatforwhichwewerecreated.Hisarmsarestretchedoutwidetoreceiveus.Hisheartisenlargedtotakeusin.102

Foster’swordswelcomeustoenteraplaceofrest,aplaceofwholesomespiritualrenewal.Throughouttheremainderofhisbook,Fosterdemonstratesthatprayeristhedoorleadingtosuchaplace.ElsewhereFosterwrites,“OfalltheSpiritualDisciplinesprayeristhemostcentralbecauseitushersusintoperpetualcommunionwiththeFather.”103Inhisclassicbook,Prayer,OleHallesbycomestoasimilarconclusion:“Prayeristhebreathofthesoul,theorganbywhichwereceiveChristintoourparchedandwitheredhearts...Asairentersinquietlywhenwebreathe,anddoesitsnormalworkinourlungs,soJesusentersquietlyintoourheartsanddoesHisblessedworkthere.”104

This,ofcourse,raisesanaggingquestionformanyChristians.IfprayerissopowerfulandifitushersusintoGod’spresence,whyisitthatwecanfillourlifefullofprayerandyetsorarelyexperienceGodindeepways?ManyChristianspraybeforemeals,praythroughouttheday,prayinchurch,praywithchildrenatbedtime,andstillfeeldistantfromGod.Howcanthisbe?

Perhapsthespiritualpowerofprayereludesusbecausewefailtohaveabalanceddietofprayerandotherspiritualdisciplineinourlives.IfprayerservestwofunctionsinScripture—petitionandworship—weoftenoveremphasizepetitionandneglectworship.“Lord,bless

thismealtoourbodies.”“DearGod,grantussafetraveltoourdestination.”“HeavenlyFather,pleaserestoremyphysicalhealth.”Wekeepprayerlistsinwhichwedescribeourpetitionsandrecordthedatesofansweredprayers.Theseprayeractivitiesaregood;petitionisanimportantpartofprayer.Butwemustrememberthatprayerisalsoanactofworship,awayofcelebratingGod’scharacterandgraciousprovision.Worshiptakestime.

DallasWillardsuggeststhatwecannottrulyunderstandspirituallytransformingprayerunlesswearealsopracticingthedisciplinesofsolitudeandfasting.105Time-pressuredprayerrarelyallowsustoenterintomeaningfulworship.ItisdifficulttoworshipGodthroughprayerwhenthelasagnaisgettingcoldorwhenthecongregationisanxioustogethomebeforetheplay-offgamestarts.WorshiprequiresustoreflectdeeplyonourneedandGod’sprovision,insightsthatcomemostnaturallyinmomentsofquiet.BillHybels,inhisbookTooBusyNottoPray,describestheimportanceof“RPMreduction,”slowingdowneachdaytoworshipandlistentoGodthroughprayer.106

Topraymeaningfully,wemustunderstandourdeepthirstforGod.Hallesbywrites:“Listen,myfriend!Yourhelplessnessisyourbestprayer.ItcallsfromyourhearttotheheartofGodwithgreatereffectthanallyourutteredpleas.Hehearsitfromtheverymomentthatyouareseizedwithhelplessness,andHebecomesactivelyengagedatonceinhearingandansweringtheprayerofyourhelplessness.”107

WeoftencramourlivessofullofactivitythatwefailtorecognizeourneedforGod.Withsolitudeandfastingweareforcedbeyondourdefensesofbusyness,andwebegintoseeourselvesaccuratelyasthirsty,needypeoplelongingforagraciousSavior.

Whataretheimplicationsforcounseling?First,itseemsclearthatthetransformingpowerofprayercannotbefullyexperiencedbyprayingatthebeginningorendofacounselingsession.Spirituallytransformingprayertakestimeanddisciplinedtraining.Forprayertobeanactiveagentforchangeinaclient’slife,itmustbecomepartofadisciplinedspirituallifeoutsidethecounselingoffice.

Second,spirituallysensitivecounselorsmaysometimesneedtoteachclientsaboutprayer.Counselorsgivehomeworkforavarietyofreasons,andprayerhomeworkcanbeconsideredalegitimateassignmentformanyChristianclients.BillHybelsoutlinesaseriesofbehavioralstepsthatheuseseachdaytopray:journaling,writingoutprayers,andlisteningtoGod.108Implementingthesesamestepscanbeausefulcounselingassignmentinmanysituations.Sometimesprayertrainingcanbegininthecounselingsession,especiallywhendevotionalmeditationisusedasaninterventionforanxiety-relatedproblems.Thereareimportantethicalconsiderationsforthoseusingspiritualinterventions,especiallyforthosereceivinginsurancereimbursementforspecifiedtreatmentprotocols.Thesewillbediscussedlaterinthischapterandthroughoutthebook.

Third,theinsightpeoplegainincounselingmayoftenprovehelpfulintheirpersonalprayerlife.IfeffectiveChristiancounselingbringspeopletoahealthysenseofself-identity

andgreaterawarenessoftheirbrokennessandthefallenhumancondition,thenitalsopreparespeopletoreachouttoGod.Oursenseofneedpropelsustomeaningfulprayer.Conversely,whencounselingcausespeopletothinkofthemselvesasvictims,theirprayerlifeishindered.Somepeoplehavebeenvictimizedandwoundedbypastevents,andeffectiveChristiancounselingallowspeopletoexploretheirpain,anger,andgriefaboutpasthurts.Butdeepinnerhealingrequiresmore.WoundedpeoplemustrecognizetheirpersonalneedandtheircapacitytowoundothersbeforefullyknowingGod’shealinggrace.

PsychologicalandSpiritualHealthFromtheprecedingdiscussion,itseemsclearthatprayerisanimportantelementofspiritualandpsychologicalhealth.PrayerisattheheartofChristianpiety,allowingustohumbleourselvesandworshipGodandtobringourconcernsdirectlytoGod.Preliminaryscientificevidence,asreviewedearlier,supportstheeffectivenessofprayerinpromotinghealth.

Butwemustalsorecognizethatnotallprayeriseffective.IntheSermonontheMount,forexample,JesuswascriticalofpublicprayersofferedbythosethinkingmoreaboutthesocialimpactoftheirprayersthanaboutGod(Matt.6:5).Jesustaught,“Wheneveryoupray,gointoyourroomandshutthedoorandpraytoyourFatherwhoisinsecret;andyourFatherwhoseesinsecretwillrewardyou”(Matt.6:6).Jesusalsocondemnedprayersofemptyrepetitiousphrasesandprayersofsmugness(Matt.6:7;Luke18:9-14).

Becauseprayerisagoodthingthatcanbemisused,itsuseincounselingwarrantscarefulmonitoring.Someformsofprayerarealwaysanimportantadditiontoeffectivecounseling,andotherscanbeeasilymisusedandattimescanworkagainstthegoalsofChristiancounseling.TheamountofriskIassociatewithvariousformsofprayerisshowninfigure4.

Someformsofprayerarealmostalwayswiseandproductive.Whatcasecouldpossiblybemadeagainstacounselor’sprayingforclientsoutsideofthecounselingsessions?If,asChristiancounselors,wearecommittedtothehealthofourclientsandwebelieveinthepowerofprayer,thenwehaveaspiritualobligationtoprayfaithfullyforthoseinourcare.Theseprayersofpetitionaretobepersistentandregular,anessentialpartofthedisciplinesexercisedbythespirituallyvibrantcounselor.Itisencouragingtonotethatontheaverage,CAPSmembersreportprayingoutsideofsessionsforthemajorityoftheirclients.109Prayingoutsideofsessionsprovidesspiritualresourcesforcounselingclients,whileremindingcounselorsoftheimportanceofhumblyseekingGod’sdirection.

Similarly,prayingforclientssilentlyduringpausesinthecounselingdialogueisanexcellentwaytoremindourselvesthatweareimperfectministersofGod’sgraceandtruth,seekingtheHolySpirit’sguidanceineachwordandexpressionweuse.Ofcourse,ifweareengagedinsilentprayertoofrequentlyortooactivelyduringthecounselingsession,itcouldcompromiseourlisteningacuity,sothecounselorneedstosetsomepersonallimitsforsilentin-sessionprayer.

Devotional-meditationassignmentsoutsideofsessionscanalsobehelpfulformanyclients,especiallythosewhoaredealingwithanxiety-orfaith-relatedproblems.Devotionalmeditationappearstobeatleastaseffectiveasprogressiverelaxationinreducinganxiety

andangerandshouldbeconsideredalegitimatealternativeforChristiancounselors.110However,itisimportanttorecognizethatdevotionalmeditationisnotequallyappropriateforallcounselingproblems.Also,somecounselorshaveexpressedconcernsthatimageryandmeditationarespirituallydangerousinterventions.111

Devotionalmeditationcanalsobeeffectivelyusedaspartofcounselingsessions.Thisissometimeseffectiveinbehavioralinterventionswhenmuscletensionneedstobereduced.Also,imageryandmeditationcanbeusedinreducingsymptomsofdepressionamongreligiousclientsandinmodifyingfaultycorebeliefsincognitivetherapy.112Theriskofin-sessionmeditationisthatthesocialdemandsofthesituationmightsignificantlychangetheworshipexperience.Clientsmightbeconcernedaboutbeing“spiritualenough”topleasethecounselor.Sociallytenseclientsmayfinditthreateningtoclosetheireyesforaprolongedperiodduringthesession,wonderingwhatthecounselorisdoingorthinkingduringthosemomentsofsilence.Itisequallyeffectivetomakeanaudiorecordingofinstructionsandhaveclientsdodevotionalmeditationsomeplacewherethesocialdemandscanbeavoided.

Forsomeclients,in-sessionprayertrainingmightbeanappropriateintervention.Justassomeclientsbenefitfromappropriatesocialskillsormoreaccurateself-talk,othersbenefitfromskillsinspiritualdisciplines.Clientscanlearnvarioustypesofprayerinsessionsandthencompleteout-of-sessionhomeworkassignmentstostrengthentheirprayerlife.

Prayertrainingholdspotentialbutalsointroducessignificantriskforseveralreasons.First,notallcounselingisskillsoriented.Thosefunctioningfromaclient-centeredorpsychodynamicperspectivemayfindthatovertskillstrainingdetractsfromtheoveralltherapeuticprocess.Second,prayertrainingmayposeethicalproblemsforcounselorswhoarerepresentingtheirtechniquestoinsurancecompaniesasmainstreaminterventions.Thisrelatestoathirdproblem—wehavenoscientificevidencefortheeffectivenessofprayertraining.AlthoughasChristianswemayfeelnoneedforsuchevidence(becausewehaveexperientialandscripturalevidenceforprayer),weneedtospeakthescientificlanguageofthementalhealthprofessionsifourmethodsaretogaincredibility.

Occasionalin-sessionprayersofpetitioncanbehelpfulundersomecircumstances.Ontheaverage,CAPSmembersusein-sessionprayerwithapproximatelyone-thirdoftheirclients.113However,asthecasesatthebeginningofthischapterillustrate,prayercanbemoreorlessusefulinvarioussituations.In-sessionprayerforthosefacingacutestressandgriefreactionsmayoftenbehelpful,andaprayerofthanksgivingcanbeaspontaneousactofworshipinthemidstofasignificantbreakthroughincounseling.Butprayinginothersituationscanbeharmful.Forexample,prayingwithanactivelyschizophrenicormanicpatientcouldbedestructiveandharmfultothefragilepsychologicalstateofthepatientandtothetreatmentrelationship.114

Finally,thoughsomecompetentChristiancounselorswilldisagreewithme,Ibelieveroutinein-sessionprayerintroducessignificantriskandminimalbenefitstothecounseling

relationship.Onthepositiveside,routinein-sessionprayercanmodelacommitmenttospirituality,anditcanremindboththecounselorandclientoftheirdesiretofollowGod’sleading.SomecounselorsadvocateprayingtoinvoketheHolySpirit’spowerincounseling,buttheseprayerscanbedoneprivatelyandsilentlywithoutintroducingthetherapeuticrisksofprayingaloud.Onthenegativeside,therearemanyconcernstoconsider.First,althoughprayingwithclientsmayteacheffectivecommunicationskills,itisthistypeofprayingthatJesuscondemnedwhenhetoldthereligiousleadersofhistimetostopprayingforsocialeffect.115Instead,JesustaughtthatprayershouldbeanintimatepartofaprivaterelationshipwithGod(Matt.6:5-6).Second,counselorswhoprayroutinelywithmostoralloftheirclientsfaceariskofprayingwordsofmeaninglessrepetition,asiscommonofprayersbeforemeals.PrayerisnotmeanttobearitualofspecialwordsthatinvokeGod’sblessinghourafterhourbutawayofhumblingourselvesbeforeourjustandgraciousGod.Whenwegiveuptheessenceofprayerandrelyinsteadontheemptysymbolsoflanguage,wegrieveGodanddeceiveourselves.Third,althoughcounselorssometimespraytomeettheirChristianclients’expectations,itisoftenmoreimportanttounderstandtheoriginoftheclients’expectationsthantoplacatethem.Religiouspracticescanbeusedasadefenseagainstinsightandself-understanding,aswasthecaseformanyofthereligiousleadersthatJesuscriticized.Fourth,prayingaloudincounselingsometimesweakenstheclients’senseofdirectaccountabilitytoGod.“Mycounselorpraysformeeveryweek,”isquiteadifferentexperiencefromprayingwithoutceasing(1Thes.5:17)!Fifth,prayingtogetherintroducesaformofinterpersonalintimacythatmaynotbewiseineverycounselingsituation.Sixth,prayingtogetherinhibitssomefromdisclosingimportantinformation.Becauseroutineprayermayelevatecounselorstospiritual-giantstatusinclients’eyes,somewillhesitatetodiscusstheirstruggleswithsin,fearingajudgmentalresponse.

Thus,someformsofprayer(e.g.,prayingforclientsoutsideofsessions)arealwayshelpful,andothers(e.g.,routinein-sessionprayerswithclients)aresometimeshelpfulbutposesignificantrisks.Mygoalisnottoidentifyalistofgoodtypesofprayersandbadtypesofprayersbuttokeepthequestionatthebeginningofthischapterintheforefront:“Whichformsofprayershouldbeusedwithwhichclientsandunderwhichcircumstances?”Inansweringthisquestionforeachspecificcounselingsituation,itisimportanttorememberthemodelofpsychologicalandspiritualhealthdescribedinchapter2.Threespecificquestionscanhelpcounselorsassesstheappropriateuseofprayerinavarietyofclinicalsituations.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofSelf?Inonesense,prayermaybeaperfectillustrationofgettingbeyondourhumantendencytobeself-focusedtoastateofself-forgetfulness.ThosewhoarebrokenandwearyfindcomfortinthepresenceofChrist(Matt.11:28-30).Thosewhoareself-absorbedmustseebeyondthemselvestoseeChrist(Luke18:9-14).Counselorscanuseprayertohelptheirclientsgainperspectiveandamoreaccurateunderstandingofthemselves.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Sabrinasuffersfromself-hateandanimpoverishedself-image.Sexuallyandphysicallyabusedasachild,Sabrinabelievesthatshewillalwaysbehurt,abandoned,andrejected.Afterbeinginahealthycounselingrelationshipforseveralmonths,Sabrinastartsfeelingbetterandexpressesaninterestinstrengtheningherspirituallife.Hercounselorassignsameditationexercisethatshecompletesthreetimesweeklyoutsideofthecounselingsessions.SabrinapicturesherselfinChrist’spresence.Withawarmlookofcomfortonhisface,Christspeakstoher,“Cometome,allyouthatarewearyandarecarryingheavyburdens,andIwillgiveyourest.Takemyyokeuponyou,andlearnfromme;forIamgentleandhumbleinheart,andyouwillfindrestforyoursouls”(Matt.11:28-29).Withtime,SabrinabeginstoexperienceanemotionalwarmthasshethinksofGod’slove.Prayerplaysanimportantroleinherhealingprocess.

ThoughprayerisideallysuitedtohelpusgetoureyesoffourselvesandontoalovingSavior,weareadeptatdistortingprayerandallowingittodistractfromahealthysenseofself.Forexample,whatifSabrina’scounselorhasherdothesameimageryexerciseduringasession?Asshecloseshereyes,tryingtopictureChrist,sheinsteadisfloodedwithotherdistractingthoughts.Whatismycounselordoingwhilemyeyesareclosed?AmIrelaxedenough?DoIhavetherightexpressiononmyface?Ishestaringatmybody?Inthiscontext,prayerbecomesavehicleofgreaterself-focusandreinforcesafaultyself-image.

OrwhatifSabrina’scounselorpraysroutinelyatthebeginningandendofeachsession?SabrinabeginscounselingfeelingangryatGodandsilentlyquestionswhetherthereisabenevolentGod.Sheasksherself,IfGodissoloving,thenhowcouldtheseawfulthingshavehappenedtomeinthepast?Eachtimehercounselorpraysinsession,Sabrinafeelsunspiritualandincreasinglycommittedtohidingherdoubtsfromhercounselor.Asaresult,shedoesnotfeelfreetoexploremeaningfulissuesoffaithincounseling.

Whenprayerhelpsaclientestablishahealthy,accuratesenseofself,itcanbeahelpfulpartoftreatment.Whenitisusedinsensitivelyorasaperfunctorypartoftreatment,itcanbespirituallyandemotionallyharmful.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofNeed?Prayerassumesneed.“Prayerandhelplessnessareinseparable.”116JesusdescribedthisinaparableoftwochurchgoersinLuke18.Oneman,areligiousleader,pronouncedhisself-sufficiency,“God,IthankyouthatIamnotlikeotherpeople:thieves,rogues,adulterers,orevenlikethistaxcollector.Ifasttwiceaweek;Igiveatenthofallmyincome”(Luke18:11-12).

Theother,ataxcollector,prayedasimplerprayer:“God,bemercifultome,asinner!”(Luke18:13).Thetaxcollectorknewmoreaboutprayerthanthereligiousleaderdid.PrayerrequiresahumbleawarenessofourneedforGod.

Inthementalhealthprofessions,wevalueautonomyandself-confidencemorethanbrokennessandneediness.Ibelievebothareimportant.Ahealthysenseofselfallowsustoexercisefreedom,acceptresponsibility,andmakegooddecisions.AhealthysenseofneedallowsustokeepourhumannessinperspectiveandtokeepuslookingtoGodforhopeanddirection.

ThetaxcollectorinJesus’parableshowedsignsofbothself-confidenceandneediness.Hehadtheconfidencetocometothetemple,thoughheknewhewasasinner,andtoaskGodformercy,thoughheknewhewasundeserving.Hehadthehumilitytoadmithisneedandaskforhelp.Prayerthatisusedeffectivelyincounselingisalsobasedonboth:enoughself-confidencetoaskforhelpandanaccurateunderstandingofhumanneed.GodisfoundnotbywallowinginshameorbyfeelingbetteraboutourhumanpotentialbutbyhumblingourselvesandlookingtoatranscendentCreatorforsustenance.

Today,theparableJesustoldmighttakeadifferentform.Twocounselorsprayedwiththeirclients.CounselorAprayed:“DearGod,helpSabrinarecognizethatsheisawonderfulpersoncreatedinyourimage.Sheiscreative,energetic,fun,andcaring.Helpherseehervalueandstopbeingsocriticalofherself.”

WasCounselorAtalkingtoGodortoSabrina?ThisprayermayhelpSabrina’sself-imageandself-confidence,buttherearemoredirectwaystoaccomplishthesegoals.Andmoresignificant,thisprayermayhurtSabrinainherspiritualquestbycommunicatingthatGodlovesherbecauseofherqualitiesratherthanbecauseofGod’sgraciouscharacter.

CounselorBteachesSabrinatomeditateonPsalm40:17tenminuteseachday:“Asforme,Iampoorandneedy,buttheLordtakesthoughtforme.Youaremyhelpandmydeliverer;donotdelay,OmyGod.”

CounselorBteachesSabrinatorecognizethatGod’slovedoesnotdependonherqualities.Atthedeepestemotionallevel,Sabrinadoesnotwanttobelovedbecausesheisgoodenoughtobeloved;shewantstobelovedregardlessofherstrengthsandweaknesses.Godofferssuchalove,andCounselorBhelpsSabrinaseeit.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealingRelationship?Becauseeffectivecounselorssimultaneouslyobserveandparticipateincounselingrelationships,itisimportanttoanticipatetherelationaleffectsofvariousformsofprayerincounseling.Counselingrequiresaclose,confidingrelationship,andinmanycases,prayingtogetherdrawstwopeopleclosertogether.Inthissense,enhancingthehumaninteractioncanbeausefulsideeffectofprayingtogetherincounseling.Afteraninitialtherapeuticbondisestablished,however,thecounselorsometimeshastowatchthatthecounselingrelationshipdoesnotbecomeexcessivelyclose.Acounselorandclientshareatemporary,transitionalrelationship,andthecounselormustmaintainsoleresponsibilityforkeepingtherelationshipatanappropriatelevelofinterpersonalintimacy.Whenthecounselingrelationshipappearstobegettingtooclose,prayingtogetherinasessionisusuallynotagoodidea.

Similarly,thosewhoareinclinedtowarddependencymaynaturallylooktotheircounselorsforemotionalandspiritualstrength.Ascounselingprogresses,itisimportantforthecounselorstogiveclientsprogressivelymoreresponsibilityforpersonalspiritualwell-being.

Mostimportant,effectiveChristiancounselorsrecognizethatcounselingrelationshipsoftenpointclientstowardahealthierviewofGod.ThecounselingrelationshipishelpfulwhenitdisplaysaspectsofGod’scharacter;itisharmfulwhenitbecomesameansofpersonalpower,grandiosity,orself-gratification.WhenprayerdrawsmoreattentiontothecounselorortheclientthantoGod,itmissesthemark.ThebeautyandchangingpowerofeffectiveprayerisaccomplishedaswehumbleourselvesanddrawclosetoGod.

FacingtheChallengesAllthechallengesofintradisciplinaryintegrationdiscussedinchapter1canbeseeninChristiancounselors’understandinganduseofprayer.

Challenge1:MovingfromTwoAreasofCompetencetoThreeManyChristiancounselorshavetrainingintheologicalperspectivesonprayer,andmanyhavethoughtindepthaboutthepsychologicalimplicationsofusingprayerincounseling.Thethirdareaofcompetence,spiritualformation,islessfamiliartomostChristiancounselors.

Herewemustmakeadistinctionbetweenbasicandadvancedcompetence.Whenfirsttrained,counselorshavebasiccompetenceincounselinginterventions.Withtimeandexperience,theybecomebettercounselorsandoftengainadvancedcompetenceinpsychologicaltheoryandtechnique.Mostcounselorsdonotgainadvancedcompetenceintheologyorspiritualformation;theologiansandspiritualdirectorshaveadvancedcompetenceintheirrespectivespecialtyareas.Nonetheless,counselorscanaspiretobasiccompetencebyreadingandstudyingtheworksoftheologiansandspiritualdirectorsandby

practicingtheirsuggestions.Thisdistinctionbetweenbasicandadvancedcompetencyisimportantbecause

counselorsmustnotconfusetheirroleswiththerolesoftheologiansandspiritualdirectors.Counselingisnotthesameasspiritualdirection,anditshouldnotreplacespiritualdirection.117Inthesameway,fewChristiancounselorsaresuperbBibleexpositors.Nonetheless,responsibleChristiancounselingisinformedbyafoundationalunderstandingoftheologyandspiritualformation.

ThosewithbasiccompetenceinspiritualformationunderstandthatprayerisanessentialpartofknowingGod.Thosewithadvancedcompetenceviewprayeras“themainbusinessoftheirlives.”118Prayercanneverbecapturedbywordsinacounselingsessionorevenbyaweeklyprayerjournal.PrayerresultsfromanawarenessofbeinginGod’spresencecontinually,anaturalpartoftheinnerlifeofthosewhohavelearnedthemostaboutwalkingwithGod.Thus,asDallasWillardwrites,wecannotknowthepowerofprayeruntilweunderstandandpracticetheotherdisciplinesoftheinnerlife.

WhenDr.GaryMoonandhiscolleaguessurveyedreligiouslyorientedgraduateprogramsincounselingandpsychology,theirrespondentsreportedprayertohavescripturalsupportandsubjectivevalueincounseling.Despitetheperceivedvalueofprayer,respondentsindicatedthatlittleattentionwasgiventoprayerinthecurriculum.119Similarly,littleemphasiswasgiventootherdisciplinesoftheinnerlife,includingfasting,solitude,andmeditation.

IntheWheatonCollegedoctorofpsychologyprogram,wefinditusefulforstudentstotakeaspiritualformationcourseduringtheirfirstsemesterofstudy.Inadditiontogivingstudentsanopportunityforfocusedstudyonthespiritualdisciplines,itallowsthemtodeveloppersonalpracticesthatenhancetheirspiritualdevelopment.

Challenge2:BlurredPersonal-ProfessionalDistinctionsVirtuallyallmentalhealthprofessionsrecognizetheimportanceofthecounselor’semotionalhealthforeffectivecounseling.Adistressedcounselorisadangerouscounselor.120TheAmericanAssociationofMarriageandFamilyTherapists(AAMFT)hasaddressedpersonaldistressinitsethicscode:“Marriageandfamilytherapistsseekappropriateprofessionalassistancefortheirpersonalproblemsorconflictsthatmayimpairworkperformanceorclinicaljudgment.”121TheNationalAssociationofSocialWorkershasasimilarstatementinitsethicscode:“Thesocialworkershouldnotallowhisorherownpersonalproblems,psychosocialdistress,substanceabuse,ormentalhealthdifficultiestointerferewithprofessionaljudgmentandperformanceorjeopardizethebestinterestsofthoseforwhomthesocialworkerhasaprofessionalresponsibility.”122

TheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation’s(APA’s)codeofethicsrequiresthat

“psychologistsrecognizethattheirpersonalproblemsandconflictsmayinterferewiththeireffectiveness.”123TheAmericanCounselingAssociationstatesthat“thememberavoidsbringingpersonalissuesintothecounselingrelationship,especiallyifthepotentialforharmispresent.”124

Theseguidelineslimittheextenttowhichacounselor’slifeispersonal,especiallyifpersonalissuesaffectprofessionalwork.Inthesameway,thepersonalprayerlifeofaChristiancounselor—onewhodealswiththecareofsoulsonadailybasis—isnotprivatebecausethespirituallifeofthecounselorspillsoverintothecounselor’sunderstandingofproblems,waysofrelating,andtherapeuticstrategies.ThoughChristiancounselorsmightliketodefineclearboundariesbetweenpersonal,spiritual,andprofessionalconcerns,nosuchlinesexist.

AChristiancounselor’sabilitytounderstandtheplaceofprayerineffectivetherapyislimitedbythecounselor’spersonalspiritualdisciplines.Thefirststepforcounselorswhowanttoincreasetheuseofprayerintheircounselingworkistoevaluatetheirpersonalprayerpatterns.

Challenge3:ExpandedDefinitionsofTrainingBecauseeffectiveprayerincounselingemergesfromacounselor’sinnerlife,thecounselor’slevelofspiritualmaturitywillprovideanupperlimitforthepotentialimpactofprayerincounseling.Thus,trainingisintenselypersonal.

Severalexcellentbooksonspiritualformationandspiritualdisciplinesareavailable.RichardFoster’sbooksCelebrationofDisciplineandPrayerareinvitingbookswithpracticalsuggestionsforpersonaltraining.125DallasWillard,inTheSpiritoftheDisciplines,arguespersuasivelyfortheimportanceofpersonaldisciplineandtraininginspiritualformation.126DonPostema’sSpaceforGodprovidesappealingandpracticalexamplesforprayerandspiritualdevelopment.127OleHallesby’sPrayerisapassionatelywrittenclassicaffirmingtheessentialroleofprayerforthegrowingChristian.128Readingisanimportantstartingpoint,butpracticingtheinnerdisciplines,includingprayer,isanessentialpartofspiritualformation.Eachoftheseauthors,andmanyothers,describehelpfulideasforenrichingone’sprayerlife.Theseideasincludetakingcoursesinspiritualformation,enlistingthehelpofaspiritualdirector,gettingawayforatimeofprolongedsolitudeandprayer,andparticipatinginweeklyprayergroupsandspecialeventssuchasconcertsofprayer.

Challenge4:ConfrontingDominantViewsofMentalHealthThoughweareinthemidstofanencouragingtrendthatleavesroomforreligiousvaluesincounseling,psychologyandcounselinghavegenerallybeenoverlyconcernedwithself-determinationandegoisticgoals.129Instarkcontrast,prayermovesone’seyesawayfromselfandontoGod.Inthisregard,Christianityandpopularpsychologyoftenpointindifferentdirections:psychologytowardgreaterself-determinationandChristianitytowardgreaterrelianceonGod.

Thoughsomepsychologistsmaypitythosewhodenypersonalfreedomforthesakeofreligion,Christiansbelievethatthosewhohavejourneyedfarintoself-forgetfulnessbyimmersingthemselvesinthedisciplinedlifeofspiritualformationarenottobepitied.Rather,theyareinthecenterofGod’swill,wheretheyfindpeaceandcomfortandjoytosustainthemthroughlife’smanychallenges.Jesusputitsuccinctly:“Forallwhoexaltthemselveswillbehumbled,butallwhohumblethemselveswillbeexalted”(Luke18:14).

Challenge5:EstablishingaScientificBaseAlthoughpsychologistsoncethoughtthatreligiousideasandpracticeswereinverselyrelatedtomentalhealth,thereisgrowingevidencethatthisisnotthecase.Fromascientificperspective,peoplewithaprofoundintrinsiccommitmenttotheirreligiousfaithareatleastashealthy,andprobablymorehealthy,thantheirnonreligiouscounterparts.130

Despitetheseencouragingfindings,agreatdealofscientificworkneedstobedone.ThefewstudiesreviewedbyMcCullough,describedearlierinthischapter,haveleftunansweredmanyquestionsaboutprayer.Andmostofthestudiesthathavebeenreportedareonlyremotelyrelatedtousingprayerincounseling.

Whataretheeffectsofaudiblein-sessionprayerontherapeuticalliance,onthedepthofdisclosure,andoncounselingeffectiveness?Howeffectivearedevotional-meditationassignmentsinreducingstresswhentheyareusedaspartofacounselingtreatment?Doesanactiveprayerlifelowertheoccurrenceorrecurrenceratesofvariouspsychologicaldisorders?Thesequestions,andmanymorerelatedtotheemotionalandspiritualeffectsofprayer,needtobeexploredthroughscientificinquiryinthefuture.

Challenge6:DefiningRelevantEthicalStandardsUsingprayerintherapyraisesseveralethicalproblemsthatmustbecarefullyconsidered.First,theprincipleofcompetencerequiresthatcounselorsuseonlythoseinterventionsforwhichtheyaretrained.Thosewithgraduatedegreesincounseling,eveniffromreligiouslyorientedprograms,receivelittleornotraininginusingprayeraspartofcounseling.131

Thisdoesnotnecessarilymeanthatwecanneveruseprayerincounselingbutthatwemusttakeextraprecautionstoavoidmisusingprayerandhurtingpeopleasaresult.Asdiscussedearlierinthechapter,seeminglyinnocuouspracticessuchasprayingaloudwith

clientstobegincounselingsessionsmayhaveaharmfuleffectonsomeclients.Wemustbeawareofthepotentialharmofthetechniquesusedincounseling,especiallytechniquesthatarenotwellestablishedaspartofcounselingtheoryandpractice.Psychologists,forexample,areinstructedintheirethicscode:“Inthoseemergingareasinwhichgenerallyrecognizedstandardsforpreparatorytrainingdonotyetexist,psychologistsneverthelesstakereasonablestepstoensurethecompetenceoftheirworkandtoprotectpatients,clients,students,researchparticipants,andothersfromharm.”132ForChristiancounselors,thismightinvolvemeetingwithpeersforongoingconsultationabouttheappropriateuseofprayerincounseling,obtainingsupervisionfromamoreexperiencedChristiancounselor,anddiligentlyworkingtodeveloppersonalpatternsofprayer.

Asecondissueofconcernisinformedconsent.Aclientwhoagreestocounselingwiththeassumptionthatstandardcounselingtechniqueswillbeusedmaybesurprisedanddisillusionedwhenspiritualinterventionsareused.Spiritualinterventions,perse,arenotnecessarilyunethical,butpromisingonetypeoftreatmentandthendeliveringanotherisunethical.Thebestsolutiontothisproblemistodescribethenatureofcounselinginawritteninformed-consentformthatisreviewedandsignedbytheclientbeforebeginningtreatment.Theconsentformwillbedifferentforeachclientandshouldincludeadiscussionofspiritualinterventionsthatmightbeusedintreatment.

Arelatedproblemiswhetherornotspiritualinterventionsshouldbereportedtoinsurancecompanieswhopayforcounselingservices.Manyinsurancecompanies,especiallymanaged-careorganizations,requirethatspecifictreatmentplansbesubmittedbeforethecounselingisauthorized.Ifacounselorplanstouseprayeraspartofcounseling,shouldprayerbeincludedonthetreatmentplan?Theanswerdependsonthetypeofprayerinterventionsemployed.Counselorswhoprivatelyprayfortheirclientswhileimplementingastandardformoftreatment(e.g.,cognitivetherapyforgeneralizedanxiety,systematicdesensitizationforsimplephobia,interpersonaltherapyfordepression)shouldfeelnoneedtoreportprayeraspartoftheirtreatment.If,however,acounselorisusingdevotionalmeditationoranotherformofprayerasacentraltreatmenttechnique,thenitshouldbereportedinthetreatmentplanalongwitharationaleforitsuse.Someformsofcounselingthatarebasedexclusivelyonspiritualinterventionsmaynotberecognizedaslegitimatecounselingstrategiesbyinsurancecompanies,andcounselorswillneedtoreconsidertheircounselingstrategiesortheirdesireforinsurancereimbursement.

Finally,chargingfeesforspirituallybasedcounselingpresentsaquandaryformanyChristiancounselors.Spiritualdirectorsandpastorshavegenerallynotchargedforspiritualguidance.Ifcounselorsusespiritual-guidancetechniquesaspartoftheircounseling,shouldtheycontinuetochargefortheirwork?SomeChristiancounselorsarepastorsandlaycounselorswhodonotpersonallyconfrontthisquestion.FortheremainderofChristiancounselors,whoselivelihoodoftendependsongeneratingfees,thisisarelevantanddifficult

question.Althoughtheremaybemanyresponsiblewaystoaddressthisfeequandary,theeasiestresolutiontotheproblemistoinformclientsofsimilaralternativeservicesavailable.Ifafee-for-servicecounselorisusingspiritualinterventionsexclusivelyandifthosesameinterventionsareavailableelsewhereatlittleornocost,thecounselorshouldinformpotentialclientsoftheotheroptionsbeforebeginningcounseling.Ifacounselorusesprayerasanadjuncttoacounselingapproachthatrequiresadvancedtraining,suchastime-limitedpsychodynamictherapy,thenthecounseloroughttoinformclientsofotherpossibleprofessionalcounselingapproaches(e.g.,cognitivetherapy)butcanlimitthediscussiontothecounselingapproachesusedbyotherprofessionalcounselors.

SummaryPrayerismorethanacounselingtechnique.Itistheprimaryvehicleofgrowthinthespirituallife.Christiancounselorswhodesiretouseprayerasavitalpartoftheirworkmustbecommittedtothespiritualdisciplinesoftheinnerlife,includingprayer,solitude,andfasting.

Despitethepowerandimportanceofprayer,bringingitintothecounselingofficeisnotasimpletask.Counselorsshouldcarefullyconsiderthepotentialeffectsofvariousformsofprayerbeforeusingthemincounseling.Someformsofprayer,suchascounselorsprivatelyprayingforclients,arealwaysuseful;whereasotherformsofprayer,suchasroutinelyprayingaloudincounselingsessions,introducebothpotentialbenefitsandriskstoclients.

Initialstudiesofdevotionalmeditationandreligiousimageryindicatethattheseformsofprayercanbeusefulincounseling,butmosttypesofprayerhavenotyetbeenresearched.Inadditiontotheresearchtask,Christiancounselorsneedtodefineclearethicalguidelinesfortheuseofprayerincounseling.

UponReflection

Ofallthechaptersinthebook,thischapteronprayerhasgeneratedthemostcontroversy.Somestudentsandcolleagueshavetoldmehowmuchtheyappreciatemyrelativelycautiousapproachtoprayerincounselingwhileothershaveexpressedhowtroublingtheyfindthischapter.Ifinditaninterestingparadoxthatmyviewsofprayerengendersuchdebatewhenthisbookemergedoutofaplaceofdeeppersonalprayer,asIdescribedintheintroduction.Perhapsthisisareflectionofhowdiverseweareandofhowvaluableprayeristoeachofus.

Readershaveraisedtwoconcernsaboutthischapter.First,somehavetoldmethatIammuchtoocautious.Figure4,andthenarrativesurroundingit,especiallyconcernssomereadersbecauseIsuggestroutinein-sessionprayercaneasilybemisusedincounseling.

Second,somereadersexperiencethechapterastootechnical,asifIamreducingprayertoasetoftechniquesratherthanapproachingitasaprofoundspiritualopportunitytocommunicatewithGod.Iwilladdressbothoftheseimportantconcernsinthisupdate.Iwillalsomentionarelationalperspectiveonprayerandthenclosewithadiscussionofthereorientingnatureofprayer.

HowCautiousShouldWeBe?Inmostways,I’macautiousfellow.Igenerallyleavetwosecondsofspacebetweenthecarinfrontofmeandmyowncarontheexpressway.InagroupI’musuallymorequietthantalkative,andIweighmywordscarefullybeforeIspeak.Isavemoneyforarainyday.Iconsidertheethicaldimensionsofcounselingalmostconstantly,alwaystryingtoavoidsituationsthatcouldharmmyclients.

Myapproachtoprayerincounselingemergesfrommypersonalitystyleaswellasfrommytraininginpsychologyandmyexperienceswithprayer.Still,itisimportantforcounselorsintrainingtoreadwidelyonthistopicandconsiderperspectivesotherthanmine.Dr.Siang-YangTan,whoisbothaprofessorofpsychologyatFullerTheologicalSeminaryandseniorpastoratFirstEvangelicalChurchofGlendale(California),hasaperspectivethatisdifferentfromtheoneyoufindinthischapter.Siang-YangisafriendandapersonIdeeplyadmire.HehasnicethingstosayaboutPsychology,Theology,andSpiritualityinChristianCounseling,buthehasmentionedtomeonseveraloccasionshowthischapteronprayertroubleshim.Siang-YangfeelsmuchmorefreedomthanIdotoprayregularlywithclientsinsession.Ifyoufeltuncomfortableasyoureadmychapter,youwillprobablyfindDr.Tan’sworktobeinspiringandrefreshing(seethereadinglistattheendofthisupdate).Siang-YanghasalsopartneredwiththeChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies(CAPS)tomakeavideotitledCognitivePsychotherapyandHealingofMemories,whichdemonstratesprayerincounseling.

Dr.TanalsowritesabouttheworkoftheHolySpiritincounseling.TheHolySpiritmovesineachChristian,guidingustowardgodlinessandtruthwhiletakingintoaccountouruniquepersonalitiesandabilities.TheHolySpirit’smovinginSiang-YangTan’scounselingmaylookslightlydifferentfromtheSpirit’smovinginMarkMcMinn’scounseling,andtheSpirit’sworkinyourcounselingmaylookdifferentyet.ThisisabeautifulthingaboutChristiancommunity—inourdiversitywelearnaboutGod’spresenceintheworld.

SeveralyearsagotheAmericanPsychologicalAssociationcontactedmeaboutdoingavideoonChristiancounseling.133Inthisvideo,Idoaprayerexercisewithmyclient,Celeste.Sheisastrong,capable,African-Americanwomanwhoisquitecomfortablecarryingtheweightoftheworldonhershoulders.Inthisprayerexercise,IhaveherrelaxandthenrepeattoherselftheancientEasternOrthodoxprayerknownastheJesusPrayer:“LordJesusChrist,SonofGod,havemercyonme,asinner.”Intheexercise,weabbreviatetheprayerto“Lord,

havemercy.”IthasapowerfuleffectonCeleste,andwhentheexerciseisover,sheisleftwithtearsstreamingdownherfaceandafreshawarenessofhowmuchpressuresheexperienceseveryday.Idon’talwayspraywithmyclients,forreasonsdescribedinthischapter,butthere,inthemidstofthatAPAstudio,surroundedwiththreecamerasandtheaccompanyingcameraoperators,IclearlyfeltledbytheHolySpirittopraywithCeleste.ThisismyhopeforallofusinvolvedwithChristiancounseling,thatweremainopentotheSpirit’sworkinourlivesandineachcounselingsession.

IsPrayeraTechnique?Inaword,no.

AsImentionedintheintroduction,Iappreciatethosewhoreadthisbookandthenletmeknowtheirthoughts.Whenstudentsfindthechapteroverlytechnique-oriented,assomehave,ittroublesmedeeply.AbookonChristiancounselingmust,ofcourse,considertheethical,scientific,andpracticaldimensionsofprayer,butwecannotreduceprayertoasetofstrategiesortechniques.SoIwanttoaddafewwordsinthisupdatetoletreadersknowmoreofmyheartregardingprayerandcounseling.

IamanevangelicalQuaker.Lisa(mywife)andIattendNewbergFriendsChurchinOregon,whereRichardFosteroncewaspastor.(Fosteristheauthorofseveralessentialbooksonspiritualformation,includingCelebrationofDiscipline,StreamsofLivingWater,andPrayer.)IntheQuakertradition,wespendagreatdealoftimeincontemplativesilence,attemptingtohearGod’svoiceinthemidstofoursometimesmessylives.MostQuakermeetingsarenolongerChristcentered,butevangelicalQuakersstillare.IfIcouldwishonethingforcounselorsintraining,itwouldbetoexperienceayearorsoinanevangelicalQuakerfellowship,wheretheycouldlearnthedisciplineofChristocentricsilence.

EffectiveChristiancounselingisverymuchlikeQuakerworship.Wesitwithclients,heartheirstories,andholdtheirstruggles,fears,andhopesuptoGod.Sometimeswespeak,sometimeswedonot,butalwayswepray.Weprayaswebreathe,inhalingthewisdomofGod’spresenceinthismoment,exhalingourfranticneedtohavetheperfectwordsortheexacttechniqueto“fix”ourclients.Sometimesweprayaloudwithourclients—andhereiswhereallthescience,ethicalissues,andtechniquesdiscussedinthischaptercomeinhandy—butmostoftenwedonot.Still,wesitinprayer.

Aformerstudentofminewasapastorbeforegettingadoctorateinclinicalpsychology.Hecametograduateschoolbecauseofthehelplessnessheoftenfeltsittinginpastoralcounselingsessions.Ingraduateschoolhelearnedwhattosayandwhentosayit,andhebecameoneofthebestpsychotherapistsIhaveevertrained.Butsometimeaftergraduationhementionedtomethathemissedtheolddayswhenhefelthelplessinsessions,becausehishelplessnessbecameamotivationforprayingtoGod.HisnotknowingwhattosaywasacontinualremindertoimploreGodforwisdomandguidance.Thechallengefacingthisman

isthesamechallengefacingallofus:howcanweemployallthemethodsofourtrainingwhilestillrememberingtobringeachmomentofourworktoGodinprayer?Thisisalifelongchallenge,andonethatIgratefullyacceptaspartofourministryinChristiancounseling.

PrayerandRelationshipNineteenth-centuryEnglishscientistSirFrancisGalton’sgreatestclaimtoinfamywashispioneeringworkineugenics,buthisprovocativeconclusionsabouttheutteruselessnessofprayermaybecloserunners-up.Paradoxically,hisantireligiouszealactuallypromotedresearchonprayer,spirituality,andreligioninthetwentiethandtwenty-firstcenturies.PhilipandCarolZaleskicreditGaltonformuchofthesubsequentscientificresearch:“Thesubsequenthistoryofscientificresearchonprayerhasbeen,inasense,nothingbutareactiontoGalton’sdevastatingconclusions.Scoresofexperimentshavebeenundertaken,manyifnotmostbyscientistswishingtovindicatethelegitimacyofprayer.”134Galton’sassumptionwasthatprayer,ifeffective,shouldlengthenthelifeoftheonewhoprays(orofonewhoisthesubjectofothers’prayers).Galtonfoundthatitdoesnot.Thoughadmirableintheparsimonyofthedependentvariable,Galton’sworkwashamperedbyhisimpreciseassumptionsaboutthenatureofprayerandbyhislimitedassessmentofhealthbenefits.Acenturyandahalflater,wenowrecognizevariouspersonalhealthbenefitsresultingfromprayerandmeditation,includingpostoperativeemotionaladjustment,painmanagement,loweredbloodpressure,self-reportedvitalityandmentalhealth,perceivedclosenesstoGod,responsivenesstopsychotherapy,socialconnectedness,and—contrarytoGalton’sassertions—perhapsevenprolongedlife.

ButIwonderifallthisgoodsciencemaysometimesmaskthepurposeofChristianprayer,whichisultimatelyrelational.InScriptureweseeaGodwholongsforrelationshipwithhumans,eventothepointthattheeternalWord“becamehumanandmadehishomeamongus”(John1:14,NLT).Emmanuelmeans“Godwithus,”andtheentiretyofScriptureshowsthatGodisindeedwithus,inourjoysandourstruggles,inourwaywardnessandourrepentance.PrayerismoreaspiritualdisciplinetopromoterelationshipwithGodthanamethodofpromotinghealth.Consequently,Christiansarelikelytocontinueprayingevenwhentightlycontrolledstudiesdemonstratethatdoingsodoesnot“work”inproducingparticularhealthoutcomes.135

Ifyouaskpeoplewhytheyliketotalkwithandlistentotheirfriends,willtheysay,“Becauseitworksandhelpsmetolivelonger”?Probablynot,thoughthatmaywellbetrue.Instead,theywillmentionhowtheyvalueconnectionwiththeirfriends.Whenwespeakandlistentoanother,webuildrelationship.Inthesameway,speakingandlisteningtoGodisawayofbuildingrelationship.

Ifindvalueinthescientificstudyofprayer,butatthesametime,ittroublesme.Virtuallyalloftoday’sscienceconsidersprayerfromanonparticularperspective.Thatis,scienceviewsprayerasconversationwiththedivine,regardlessofwhothedivineistakentobe.Inthisview,prayerisdecidedlynonrelational.TotheChristian,prayerisparticular.ItisrelationshipwiththelivingGod,revealedinthepersonofChrist,andmediatedthroughtheHolySpirit.Let’sreadthescienceandlearnwhateverwecanfromit,andthenpressforwardtowardapersonalandintimateconnectionwithGod,whichtranscendsthepluralisticmethodsofmostsciencetoday.

TheReorientingNatureofPrayerAchallengeinmylifehasbeenmakingsenseofmyownstrugglesandweaknessesevenasIhelpclientsworkthroughtheirs.Becausecounselingisaone-wayhelpingrelationship,Ishouldnotanddonotdiscussmypersonalstruggleswithclients.Still,itisnecessarytoaddressmyissues.Ihavefoundpersonaltherapy,friendship,marriage,gardening,communityworship,andprayeralltobeusefulasIfacemyownstruggleswhilehelpingotherswiththeirs.WhenIbegintolosemyway,allthesehelpreorientmetothesanctifyingpresenceofGod,whichpersistsinthemidstofmybrokenness.

IsometimesexperienceaninnerclamorasIsitwithclients.Ientertainthoughtsofnotbeingsmartenoughorspiritualenoughoreducatedenoughtohelpthispersonsittingacrossfromme.Itisaselfishclamor,focusedonmyownsenseofadequacyratherthanonthissacredworkIamcalledtodo.HenriNouwenobservesthatweliveinaworldthatisshouting,“Youarenogood;youareugly;youareworthless;youaredespicable;youarenobody—unlessyoucandemonstratetheopposite.”136SometimesIhearalltheseinnershoutswhileIamsittingwithaclient,andthenIremembertobreathe,topray,toreorientmyselfbeforeGod.Thisisnotavisibleactionthatmyclientwouldnotice;itismerelyaninternalpostureItakebeforeGod,muchasImightshiftmyphysicalpostureifonelegortheotherstartsfeelinguncomfortable.InthisreorientingprayerIremindmyselfofGod’spresenceinthisfallenworldandrememberhowmuchGodlovesme.

ThenIrememberthathoweverlostImayfeelatthatmoment,myclientsalmostcertainlyfeelitmore.Theyhavecometomyofficedisoriented,oftenhavinglostasenseofwhotheyareandoftheirplaceintheworld.Orientingmyselfhelpsgetmyeyesoffmeandbackontothosewhositinmyoffice.

FinalThoughtsTheChristianlanguageofbeinglostandsavedhaslargelybeenusurpedbysoteriology(thedoctrineofsalvation).Still,Ifindthatmysavedsoulgetslostinlesserwaysthroughouteverydayandeveryweek.IgetlostintheworkIamdoing,intheworkIhaveyettodo,inmystrugglesanddisappointments,inrelationalwounds,inmysuccessesandself-aggrandizingfantasies.OverandoverIhavetoreturntothehumblepostureofprayer,tobefoundbyGodagain,tobebathedingraceandredeeminglove,tobreatheintheabundantlife.MaythisbearhythmoflifeforallofusasChristiancounselorssothatwecanhelpourclients,whoalsogetquitelostattimes.

AcknowledgmentIappreciatetheassistanceofTylerA.Gerdininhelpingmeresearchandwritethisupdate.AdoctoralstudentinclinicalpsychologyatGeorgeFoxUniversity,andpartofmyresearchteam,TyleralsoattendsNewbergFriendsChurch,whereheoftencontributestoworshipwithhistrombone-playingskills.

AdditionalReadingSiang-YangTan,“InnerHealingPrayer,”ChristianCounselingToday11,no.4(2003):20–22.

Siang-YangTan,“UseofPrayerandScriptureinCognitive-BehavioralTherapy,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity26(2007):101–111.

BibliographyBenson,Herbert,JefferyA.Dusek,JaneB.Sherwood,PeterLam,CharlesBethea,WilliamCarpenter,SidneyLevitsky,PeterC.Hill,DonaldW.Clem,ManojK.Jain,DavidDrumel,StephenL.Kopecky,PaulS.Mueller,DeanMarek,SueRollins,andPatriciaL.Hibberd.“StudyoftheTherapeuticEffectsofIntercessoryPrayer(STEP)inCardiacBypassPatients:AMulticenterRandomizedTrialofUncertaintyandCertaintyofReceivingIntercessoryPrayer.”AmericanHeartJournal151no.4(April2006):934–942.

McMinn,MarkR.ChristianCounseling.Washington,D.C.:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation,2006.Video.

Nouwen,HenriJ.M.LifeoftheBeloved:SpiritualLivinginaSecularWorld,10thed.NewYork:CrossroadPublishing,2002.

Zaleski,Philip,andCarolZaleski.Prayer:AHistory.Boston:HoughtonMifflin,2005.

4

Scripture

Karlreturnshomefromhisfirstcounselingappointment,openshisBibletoPsalm1,andbeginsreading.“Happyarethosewhodonotfollowtheadviceofthewicked,ortakethepaththatsinnerstread,orsitintheseatofscoffers.”

KarlsetstheBibleonhislapandreflectsonthepastninetyminutes.HethinksaboutthereliefhefelttellingDr.Listnerthingshehadneverdisclosedtoanyonebefore.Hethinksofhercomfortingsmileandhowgenuinelyconcernedsheseemedtobe.ButKarlalsohasnaggingdoubts.IfDr.ListnerisreallyaChristiancounselorassheclaims,whydidn’tshementionGod?Whydidn’tshehaveaBibleonherdeskorinavisiblespotonherbookshelf?MaybetheChristianantipsychologybooksKarlhasreadarecorrect;maybeDr.Listnerisapriestofarivalreligion.Maybeheisfollowingthe“adviceofthewicked”bygoingtoaChristiancounselor.Maybehewassitting“intheseatofscoffers”whileswayingintheswivelrockerinDr.Listner’soffice.

Karlkeepsreading:“ButtheirdelightisinthelawoftheLord,andonhislawtheymeditatedayandnight.Theyareliketreesplantedbystreamsofwater,whichyieldtheirfruitinitsseason,andtheirleavesdonotwither.Inallthattheydo,theyprosper.”

KarlsetstheBibledownagainandreflectsonanewsetofquestions.DoesthismeanthatmydepressionwillgoawayifIreflectmoreonthepromisesofScripture?AmIlookingforhelpinthewrongplace?HowcanIlearntodelightmoreinGod’sWord?ShouldIcancelnextweek’sappointmentwithDr.Listner?Karl’sreflectionsonhisfirstcounselingappointmentillustratesomequestionsChristianclientsfacewhenseekinghelpfortheirproblems.

Dr.Listnerhasherownsetofquestions.InherpersonaltimesofstudyingandcontemplatingScripture,shedrawsclosetoGodandexperiencesasenseofcomfortandpurpose.SheoftenmemorizesBiblepassagesandrecallsthemintimesofunusualstress.Why,shewonders,doesn’tsheuseScripturemoreinhercounselingwork?Thensheremembers.

ThereareseveralreasonsDr.ListnerdoesnotuseScripturemoreactivelyinherworkwithclientslikeKarl.First,likemostChristianpsychologists,Dr.ListnerwasnottrainedtouseScriptureincounseling.ShehesitatestousetheBiblewithChristianclientsbecauseshemightbetakingaverseoutofcontextormisapplyingafundamentaltheologicalconcept.Second,Dr.Listnerhasseenmanyclients,likeKarl,whoaredepressedaboutbeingdepressed.SeveralpeopleinKarl’schurchhavetoldhimthathewouldnotbedepressedifhe

tookhisspirituallifemoreseriously.Dr.Listnerdoesnotagree.Sheseesdepressionasresultingfromacomplexblendofinterpersonal,biochemical,psychological,spiritual,andenvironmentalfactors.IfsheoverusesScripturewithclientslikeKarl,shemightcommunicateasimplisticviewofdepressionthatonlymakesherclientsmoredepressed.Third,hertheoreticalorientationplacesherintheroleofbeingatransitionalobjectforKarl.IfsheintroducesherownagendabyquotingorusingScripture,itmightinterferewithKarl’sabilitytoprojectpastemotionalconflictsontohisnewtherapist.Fourth,whenDr.ListnerhastriedusingScriptureinpastcounseling,itsometimeshasevokedrigiddefensesinherclients,asiftheBiblegivesanexcusenottolookatfeelingsandinnerexperiences.Fifth,somepeoplehaveusedtheBibleforselfishpurposes.Dr.Listnerrecallsthetimewhenamanused1Corinthians7toinsistthathiswifeshouldhavesexwithhimwheneverhewanted,regardlessofthefactthathiswifehadrecentlybeenrapedbyastranger.

ManyofKarl’squestionsabouttheabsenceofScriptureinhisfirstChristiancounselingexperienceseemvalid.SodomanyofDr.Listner’sconcernsaboutusingScriptureincounseling.Sowhatistherightanswer?ShouldChristiansuseScriptureincounselingornot?Thisquestion,likethesimilarquestionaboutprayerposedatthebeginningofchapter3,istoogeneraltobemeaningful.Abetterquestionis,“InwhatwaysshouldScripturebeusedincounselingwhichclientsandunderwhichcircumstances?”ThoughChristiancounselorsanswerthisquestiondifferentlydependingonprofessional,religious,andideologicalassumptions,variousmethodsofusingScriptureincounselingdeservecarefulconsiderationandcriticalevaluation.

Foundations

PsychologyPsychologicaljournalsandbooksincludenumerousreferencestoChristianScriptures,butfewhavedirectrelevancetoChristiancounseling,andevenfeweraredirectlyrelatedtousingtheBibleincounseling.Aswiththepreviouschapter,mygoalisnottoprovideacomprehensiveliteraturereviewbutratherasamplingofthetypesofarticlesandbooksthathaveimplicationsforChristiancounselors.

PsychologicalPerspectivesonScriptureManypsychologicalcritiquesandevaluationsofscripturalprinciplesandcharactersareavailable.BetweenJanuary1990andMay1995,thewordBiblewasincludedin105articlesreferencedinPsychLit,anelectronicindexofpsychologyjournals.Themajorityofthesearticlespertaintoapsychologicalevaluationofabiblicalconceptorperson.Thisisnotsurprising.Asinterestinnarrativepsychologyincreases,thetoolsofliterarycriticismaremorewidelyusedinpsychologyjournals.Forexample,anumberofauthorshaveproducedpsychoanalyticcritiquesofbiblicalcharactersinrecentyears.

Applyingpsychology’smethodstounderstandingtheBibleappearstoberelativelyrareamongexplicitlyChristianauthors,perhapsbecausewefearthedilutingofscripturaltruthwithcontemporaryliteraryorsocial-scientifictheories.However,someChristianauthorscautiouslyadvocateusingpsychologyandcarefulbiblicalscholarshiptounderstandthecharactersandstoriesoftheBible.137

ScripturalSupportofCounselingModelsSomeauthorshaveusedScriptureasafoundationfordevelopingresponsiblecounselingstrategiesandtechniquesthatsharecommonfeatureswithtraditionalmodelsofpsychotherapy.Forexample,anumberofauthorshaveadvocatedmodelsofChristiancounselingthatdemonstrateacommitmenttoScriptureaswellaspsychologicaltheory.138

OthershaveusedScripturetosupportexistingcounselingmethodsormodels.Forexample,DanielSweeneyandGarryLandrethdescribescripturalsupportforusingplaytherapyintreatingchildren.139AnumberofauthorsuseScripturetosupportvariousformsofcognitivetherapy,especiallyrational-emotivetherapy.140Oneauthorconcludesthat“RETisbasedonathoroughlybiblicalprinciple,theimportanceofwhatonethinks.”141UsingScripturetosupportexistingmodelsofpsychotherapyhasgeneratedsomeconflictandconcernamongmanyChristians.SomeChristianantipsychologistsseepsychologyasacompetingfaith,arguingthatitiscompletelyincompatiblewithScripture.142Othershaveofferedmoremeasuredcriticism,suggestingthatwemustcarefullyevaluateworldviewassumptionsbeforeimportingandmodifyingapsychotherapytechniqueandcallingitChristiancounseling.143

UsingScriptureinCounselingSomecounselorsadvocateusingScriptureasatherapeuticintervention.Forexample,variousauthorshavesuggestedusingBiblepassagesinchurch-basedrecoverygroupstohelpconfrontthemesofcodependency,usingScriptureinmaritalcounselingtohelpcouplesrecoverfromsexualaffairs,usingBiblestoriesinindividualchildtherapy,usingtheBibletoconfrontirrationalbeliefsinRET,andusingScripturememoryandmeditationashomeworkincognitivetherapy.144

Inonesurvey,almosthalf(43percent)ofthemembersoftheChristianAssociationfor

PsychologicalStudies(CAPS)reportedexplicitlyteachingbiblicalconceptstoclients.Overtwo-thirds(71percent)implicitlyusedbiblicalconceptsintheircounselingwork.145Whilethesesurveyresultssuggestarelativelyfrequentuseofbiblicalconceptsincounseling,theydonotaddresstheactualdirectuseofScriptureincounseling.InanothersurveyofCAPSmembers,respondentswereaskedtodescribeChristianinterventionstheyusedincounseling.146Oftheinterventionsreported,13percentinvolvedthedirectuseofScriptureincounseling.Whensomeofthesamerespondentswereinterviewedandaskedtodescribecriticalincidentstheyhadfacedincounselingandtheinterventionstheyusedinresponse,only3percentoftheinterventionsdescribedinvolvedthedirectuseofScripture.Thus,itappearsthatdirectlyusingScriptureaspartofcounselingisrelativelyrare,evenamongChristiancounselors.

TheBibleasaSelf-HelpBookAnotheruseofScriptureinpsychologyisnotlimitedtoChristiancounselors.SomehavesuggestedusingtheBibleasaself-helpbookwithreligiousclients.EvenAlbertEllis,aself-proclaimedatheistandoutspokenopponentofdevoutreligiousfaith,hadthistosayabouttheBibleinarecentarticle:“IthinkthatIcansafelysaythattheJudeo-ChristianBibleisaself-helpbookthathasprobablyenabledmorepeopletomakemoreextensiveandintensivepersonalityandbehavioralchangesthanallprofessionaltherapistscombined.”147

AlthoughChristiansmaydisliketheideaofreducingtheBibletoaself-helpbook,itishearteningthatsomenon-ChristiantherapistsperceiveanincreasingneedtoworkwithinthevaluesystemsofChristianclients.

ThoughtheBibleoffersmuchmorethanself-help,therearetimeswhenclientsaresearchingforanswersthatcanbereadilyfoundinScripture.Forexample,counselorswhousecognitivetherapyoftenworkwithclientstomodifyfaultycorebeliefsthathavecontributedtopoorself-awarenessandunnecessarilypainfulemotionalexperiences.MeditatingonScripturecanhelpChristianclientschangethesebeliefs.ThosewhobelievetheyarecompletelyunlovedanddestinedforrejectioncanmeditateonPaul’swordstoRomanChristians:“ButGodproveshisloveforusinthatwhilewestillweresinnersChristdiedforus”(Rom.5:8).Thosewhobelievetheyareallalone,isolatedandabandoned,canrememberthepsalmist’sproclamation:“Godisourrefugeandstrength,averypresenthelpintrouble”(Ps.46:1).Thosewhofeeloverwhelmedwithlife’sburdensandGod’sapparentdistancecanrecallthewordsofJames:“Indeedwecallblessedthosewhoshowedendurance.YouhaveheardoftheenduranceofJob,andyouhaveseenthepurposeoftheLord,howtheLordiscompassionateandmerciful”(James5:11).

UntappedPotential?TheperspectivesandstudiesreportedherereflectthewaysvariousauthorshaveusedScriptureincounseling.However,theremaybemanyadditionalpossibilitiesthathavenotyetbeenexplored.Dr.EricJohnsonarguesthattheBiblebelongsinpsychologicalscienceandsuggestseightwaysScripturecaninfluenceChristiancounselorsandpsychologists.148First,theBibleplaysanexperientialroleinourlives,providingarichresourceforwisdomandpersonalmaturity.Second,Scriptureplaysafoundationalrole,providingacommonstartingpointforunderstandingourbasicassumptionsandbeliefs.Third,itplaysacontextualrolethatallowsustounderstandhumannature,meaning,andpurposeinlife.Fourth,Scriptureplaysanaxiologicalrole,givingusstandardsforwhatshouldbe.Fifth,theBibleplaysananthropologicalrole,providingusanawarenessofthehistoricalnarrativeofhumansinanddivineredemption.Sixth,itplaysacanonicalrole,providinganunchangingstandardoftruth.Seventh,Scriptureplaysadialogicalrole,providingrichresourcesfordiscussionandcomparisonbetweenpsychologicalknowledgeandspecialrevelation.Eighth,theBibleplaysacreativerole,allowingustoconsiderandexploreconceptsandideasthatmightnotbeconsideredfromapurelypsychologicalworldview.TheseeightrolesthatJohnsonoutlinessuggestthatChristiancounselorshaveonlybeguntoexplorethepotentialofintegratingtheBibleandpsychology.

ChristianTheologyEveniftheologiansagreedontheroleofScriptureintheology,itwouldbeimpossibletosummarizeinafewpages.Tocomplicatethetaskfurther,theologiansdonotagree.Traditionally,ScripturehasbeenseenastheessentialfoundationforChristiantheology.DavidKelseysuggeststhat“virtuallyeverycontemporaryProtestanttheologianalongtheentirespectrumofopinionfromthe‘neo-evangelicals’throughKarlBarth,EmilBrunner,toAndersNygren,RudolfBultmann,PaulTillichandevenFritzBuri,hasacknowledgedthatanyChristiantheologyworthyofthename‘Christian’must,insomesenseofthephrase,bedone‘inaccordwithScripture.’”149ButKelseygoesontopointoutthattheologyhaschangedinthepastfiftyyears,andnowanumberoftheologiansarguethat“Scripturedoesnot,andindeed,someadd,cannotserveasauthorityfortheology.”150Revisionisttheologyhasrisentoprominencewithpostmodernism,andScriptureissometimesreducedtoaliteraryconstructionofhumanattemptstounderstandGod.

ThefewcommentsImakeherearelimitedbymyassumptionthatnewertheologyisnotnecessarilybettertheology;Ibeginwiththebelief,sharedbyProtestanttheologiansthroughthecenturies,thatScriptureisanessentialtoolforknowingGod.Evenwiththisassumption,thereisconsiderabledebateabouttheroleofhumanreasoninapproachingScripture.Becauseofthevastnessofthetopic,thelackofagreementamongtheologians,andmylimitedtheologicaltraining,ImakenoattempttosurveytheroleofScriptureinChristian

theologyhere.Rather,IwillfocusononespecificproblemregardingScriptureandtheologyanddiscusstwoimplicationsforhowChristiancounselorsunderstandScripture.

TheProblem:TheChickenortheEgg?TheologicalviewsofScriptureareplaguedbythechicken-or-the-eggproblem.DowefirstknowGodthroughreason,asThomasAquinasbelieved,andthenunderstandScripturebecauseweunderstandGod?OrdowefirstknowScripture,whichallowsustoknowGod?Inotherwords,isourknowledgeofScriptureshapedbyourpriorknowledgeofGod,ordoesitworktheotherwayaround?Eachviewhasbeensupportedbyreputablescholars.TheologianMillardEricksonproposesthatthisdebateisunnecessary,thatwecanpresupposebothaknowledgeofGodandaknowledgeofScriptureassimultaneousandinseparable.151GodcannotbeknownapartfromScripture,andScripturecannotbeproperlyunderstoodwithoutknowingGod.JustasScripturehelpsusknowGod,GodhelpsusunderstandScripture.UntilweknowGod,ourviewsandunderstandingofScripturearecloudedbyourdisbelief.Butwithsalvationcomesacleaningofthelenses—acapacitytounderstandGod’sWordmoreclearly,thoughnotperfectly.152

Inthesameway,wemustknowsomethingaboutourselvesinordertoknowGod.InthefirstofhisInstitutes,JohnCalvinarguedthatknowledgeofselfandknowledgeofGodareinseparable.153WecannotfullyknowourselveswithoutunderstandingGod’scharacter,righteousness,andlove,andwecannotfullyknowGodwithoutunderstandingourselves,includingourcapacityforsin,ourhumanfrailty,andourdeeplongingforsomeonetranscendent.

Knowledgeofself,God,andScriptureareintertwined.Thisiswhatscholarscallthehermeneuticcircle—thetextcannotbeseparatedfromtheperspectivesofthereader,andthereader’sperspectivesareinfluencedbythetext.ThetextaffectsourviewsofGodandself:weseeourneedforGodbyunderstandingourselvesasrevealedinScripture.Godaffectsourcapacitytounderstandthetext,andsodoesourhumanness:weunderstandScripturebecauseGodhasgraciouslygranteduseyestosee,buteventhoseeyesareaffectedbyourfallenhumannature.

Theseinterconnectionsofhumannature,God’scharacter,andScripturehaveatleasttwoimportantimplicationsforChristiancounselorsinterestedinusingScriptureincounseling.

Implication1:RespectFirst,wemustcultivateandmaintainrespectfortheBible.ScriptureisourprimarywayofknowingGod.ItisGod’sauthoritativerevelationtohumankind.Wecallitspecialrevelation.Yes,weseeGodinnature,butnatureworshipwithoutspecialrevelationleadstoanimismandotherheresies.Yes,weknowGodthroughprayerandmeditation,buttheNewAgemovementdemonstratesthedirectionlessconfusionofspiritualityunboundedbyScripture.WeneedScripturetounderstandGod.JohnCalvinwritesthat“Scripture,collectinginourmindstheotherwiseconfusednotionsofdeity,dispelsthedarknessandgivesusaclearviewofthetrueGod.”154

Whenweclaim“alltruthisGod’struth,”wearebothcorrectandincorrect.Allthatistrue,whetherdiscoveredthroughscience,literature,philosophy,theology,counseling,orScripture,comesfromGod.However,science,literature,philosophy,theology,counseling,andScripturearenotequallydirectwaysofknowingGod,andeverywayofknowingGodislimitedbyourhermeneuticmethodsforunderstandingtruth.ScriptureisthemostdirectwayofknowingGod;thereforeitdeservesourrespect.

WhatdoesthismeanfortheChristiancounselor?WemustnothesitatetoreveretheGodrevealedinScriptureastheultimatestandardoftruth.Postmodernismhaspushedmentalhealthdisciplinestowardacceptingpersonal“truth”asequallyvalidtoGod’stranscendenttruth.Christiancounselorsshouldresistthetrend.Whenwelookfortruth,wedon’tfirstlookinsideourselvesorinsideourclients;welooktoGod.However,communicatingourrespectforScripturewithoutinducingshameorexcessivesubmissioninourclientscanbechallenging.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Yourclient,Frank,hasbeenreadingbooksonrelaxationandmeditationtechniques.Thebookswereassignedbyapreviouscounselor,andtheyseemtobehelpinghimcopewithhisanxietyproblems.Inthemiddleoftoday’ssession,youarediscussingthelonelinessFrankfeltasanonlychildraisedbytwobusyprofessionalpeople.Hebecomestearful,putshisheadbetweenhishands,andsitssilentlyforseveralminutes.Eventuallyheliftshishead,looksyouintheeye,andsays,“I’vebeenthinkingaboutthis,abouthowlonelyIfeel.SometimesIjustfeelstuck,asifthereisnothingIcaneverdotofeelanybetter.ButIknowthat’snottrue.Thereisawayoutofthis.Ijustneedtokeeplookinginsidemyself.I’mlearningalotinthesemeditationexercises.IfIkeeplookinginsidemyself,IknowIwilleventuallyfindthetruth.”

Howdoyourespond?Herearethreepossibilities:Option1:“Yes,itisimportanttokeepsearchinginsideyourselfforyourvaluesandyour

ideasofwhattodonext.ButI’mwonderingwhyitissoimportanttofindtheanswersinsideyourself.”Option2:“Goodidea.Itisreallyveryimportanttokeepsearchingfortruth.”Option3:“Idon’tthinkyou’llhavemuchlucklookinginsideyourselffortruth.TheBibleteacheswefindtruththroughJesus.Jesussaid,‘Iamtheway,andthetruth,andthelife.’”

Thoughagoodcasemightbemadeforanyoftheseresponsesinsomecounselingsituations,Ipreferoption1.ItgentlychallengesFrank’sassumptionthathewillfindtruthinsidehimselfwithoutintroducingharshnessintotheconversation.Option1islikelytoleadintoameaningfuldiscussionoftheplaceandauthorityofScriptureinFrank’slife.Option2unintentionallyreinforcesFrank’sideathathewillfindtruthinsidehimself.Option3maybesoabruptthatitwillstopFrankfromexploringfurther.Hemightagreewiththecounseloronlytoavoiddisapproval.

Implication2:HumilitySecond,whilewemustrespecttheauthorityofScripture,weshouldalsoassumeanattitudeofhumilityregardingourinterpretationsofScripture.AlthoughScriptureisspecialrevelation,inspiredbyGod,itisalwaysinterpretedbyfalliblehumans(2Tim.3:16).Yes,knowingGodhelpsusunderstandScripturemoreclearlythanbefore,butwestillbumpagainstthelimitsofhumanity.Thus,ourhumannessandthehermeneuticstrategiesweuseininterpretingScripturelimitourcapacitytounderstandtruth.155

WhatIfThisHappened?

NancyandThomBakercometoseeRoberta,alaycounselor,formaritalhelp.OneofthedifficultiestheBakersfaceisconflictovertheirdomesticroles.Nancywantsanegalitarianmarriage,butThomwantsamoretraditional,male-headshipmarriage.RobertalistenscarefullytobothNancyandThom,encouragesthemtoexpresstheirdesiresandopinionstooneanother,andhelpsthemlookatthedeeperpsychologicalbeliefsthatareoperatingbeneaththesurfaceofawareness.Thomisoperatingfromtheassumptionthatonlythestrongsurviveandonehastobetoughinthisworldtosucceed.Hetriestorunhisfamilythesameway.Nancyisoperatingfromtheassumptionthatherworthdependsontheapprovalsheelicitsfromothers.Mostofherfriendsandextendedfamilyareinegalitarianmarriages,andtheyfrequentlyquestionandcriticizeherabouthermoretraditionalmaritalrole.Shewantstochangehermarriagetogainsocialapprovalfromthoseshecaresabout.

Robertaconsidershertwopossibleresponses.OneoptionistouseScripturetoteachthe“rightway”tostructureamarriage.Robertaiscommittedtoanegalitarianmarriageandhasbeenpersuadedbyseveralrecentbooksthatherviewsaresupported

inScripture.ShecouldtrytopersuadeThom.AsecondoptionistocoachThomandNancyastheyworktounderstandeachotherbetterandtosearchScripturethemselvesforthebestwaytostructuretheirmarriage.WhichoptionshouldRobertachoose?

AhermeneuticofhumilitymovesRobertatoselectthesecondoption.ThoughsheisconvincedthatScriptureteachesacertainwaytostructuremarriage,shealsorecognizesthatothersinterpretScripturedifferentlyfromthewayshedoesandthatherjobasacounselorisnottoindoctrinateclientstoherwayofthinking.

IamnotsuggestingthatChristiancounselorsshouldavoidtakingfirmdoctrinalpositionsonscripturalteaching.Withcarefulhermeneuticstrategies,wecanminimizetheintrusionsofourfaultyhumanreasoningandboldlyadvocatescripturaltruthinapostmodernsocietythatoftenoverlookstranscendenttruth.However,whenweinterpretcontroversialpassages,wearewisetorememberthehermeneuticcircleandhumblyrecognizethatourhumanbiasesandsinwillinfluenceandlimitourunderstandingofGodandtheBible.

SpiritualityTwopeopleseeanapple.Onerespondsanalytically,investigatestheapple,andsays,“Thisisredontheoutside,crispontheinside,andtastessweetandpleasant.”Theotherreflectsonpastmemoriesandsays,“Mygrandmotherusedtomakethemostdeliciousapplepie!Shesprinkledcinnamonsugaronthecrust,bakeditjustright,andserveditpipinghot.”Botharerespondingtotheapple;botharecorrect;buttheyemphasizedifferentaspectsofreality.

SoitiswithScripture.Oneperson,atheologian,approachesScriptureanalytically,tryingtounderstandhowspecialrevelationcanbeaccuratelyinterpretedinordertounderstandGodbetter.Anotherperson,orperhapsthesamepersonatanothertime,approachesScripturereflectivelyandexperientially,contemplatingGodbymeditatingonScripture.ThoughbothapproachesareimportantinboththeologyandChristianspirituality,thecontemplativeapproachtoScriptureisofcentralimportanceinspiritualformation.RichardFosterputsitwell:“WhereasthestudyofScripturecentersonexegesis,themeditationofScripturecentersoninternalizingandpersonalizingthepassage.ThewrittenWordbecomesalivingwordaddressedtoyou.”156

Dr.JimWilhoit,whoteachescoursesinspiritualityatWheatonCollege,lovestotellofthetimewhenheandCarolbroughttheirslightlyjaundicednewborndaughterhomefromthehospital.Theysecuredherinaninfantseatandplacedtheseatnexttoawindowsothenaturallightofthesuncouldhealherjaundicedbody.WhatabeautifulpictureofGod’shealingpresenceinourlives.ButwehavetoplaceourselvesinthewayofGod’slight.MeditatingonScriptureisawaytoplaceourfrail,ailingselvesinthepresenceofGod’shealingwarmth.Thisisnotanexerciseintheology.Infact,FosterwarnsthatmeditatingonScriptureis“notatimefortechnicalstudies,oranalysis,oreventhegatheringofmaterialto

sharewithothers.”157Scripturemeditationisdeeplypersonal,providinghealinglightandspiritualsustenanceforallwholongforintimacywithGodandwhodaretoadmittheirneediness.

ThereareatleasttwopurposesforusingScriptureduringtimesofmeditation.First,itprovidessubstanceforcontemplation.158Thepsalmistwritesofthegodly,whose“delightisinthelawoftheLord,andonhislawtheymeditatedayandnight”(Ps.1:2).ElsewhereinthePsalmsweread,“Oh,howIloveyourlaw!Itismymeditationalldaylong.Yourcommandmentmakesmewiserthanmyenemies,foritisalwayswithme.Ihavemoreunderstandingthanallmyteachers,foryourdecreesaremymeditation”(Ps.119:97-99).UnlikemeditationinEasternreligions,wherethegoalistoemptyone’smind,thegoalofChristianmeditationistofillone’smindwithanawarenessofGod’spresence.Scriptureprovidesrichmaterialtofillourthoughtsanddirectourpaths.

WhatIfThisHappened?

PastorNealistired.Hecounselsfifteenpeopleeachweek,preparessermons,visitsparishioners,andspendsasmuchtimeaspossiblewithhisfamily.Lately,hehasbeenfeelingdiscouragedabouttheslowchangesheseesinhiscounselingclients.Sometimeshefeelsangrythatpeopleresistchange.Othertimeshefeelsboredanddrowsyduringcounselingsessions.

PastorNealrecognizesthesignsofexcessivestressanddecidesheneedsachange.Heblocksoffadayonhiscalendarandarrangestogotoanearbyretreatcenterforadayofsolitude,prayer,andmeditation.PastorNealtakesonlyhimselfandacopyoftheBible.Scripturewillbehisfood,hisrecreation,andhisbusinessfortheday.Throughoutthedayhestrollsthegrounds,readstheBible,naps,prays,meditates,andreturnswithrenewedenergyandaclearerimageofGod’snature.

Second,Scriptureprovidesimportanttheologicalboundariesforspiritualmeditation.RichardFosterwrites,“ForallthedevotionalmastersthemeditatioScripturarum,themeditationuponScripture,isthecentralreferencepointbywhichallotherformsofmeditationarekeptinproperperspective.”159Withoutscripturalboundaries,thepracticeofspiritualityslipsintoheresyandself-worship,asweseeallaroundusincontemporaryculture.160Forexample,onemedicaldoctor,whodescribesherselfasapractitionerof“soulwork,”reportsthatthe“overridingbible”ofherworkisthat“youattractwhatyoudwellupon.Youattractwhatyourownvibratoryrateis.”Shegoesontodescribeherinterestinshamanicsoul-retrievalworkandpast-lifetherapy.161AlthoughourimaginationisagiftfromGod,weneedScripturetoprovideatheologicalandhistoricalanchorforit.Otherwise,ourimaginationisguidedbypassingfadsandself-interestdisguisedinvariousforms.

Scriptureisanessentialtoolforspiritualformation.Itprovidesbothresourcesforspiritualcontemplationandboundariestokeepusfromslippingawayfromtruth.

PsychologicalandSpiritualHealthHowandwhenshouldcounselorsuseScripturetomoveclientstowardgreaterpsychologicalandspiritualhealth?Let’slookatthisquestionintwoimportantways:onegeneralandonemorespecific.

Generally,weareconcernedaboutScriptureinchoosingourcounselingstrategiesandtheories,eventhosethatdonotspecificallyinvolveusingtheBibleincounselingsessions.Dr.StantonJones,chairpersonoftheWheatonCollegePsychologyDepartment,hasdevelopedausefulsystemforconsideringhowwemightconceptualizeScriptureincounseling,basedonfourtypesofcounselingstrategies.162First,somecounselingstrategiesaredirectlyderivedfromScripture.Forexample,somecognitivetherapiststeachclientstouseScripturereferencestocounterfaultydysfunctionalthoughts,justasPaultaughtChristiansinPhilippitothinkaboutthingsthatarehonorable,pure,pleasing,andcommendable.163Second,somecounselingstrategiesaregenerallysupportedbyimplicationinScripture.Forexample,usingreligiousimageryasatechniquefordepressedclientsisconsistentwithScripture,thoughnotspecificallytaughtorcommandedinScripture.Third,somecounselingstrategiesarenotdiscussedorimpliedintheBiblebutarenotinconsistentwithScripture.Forexample,usingprogressivemusclerelaxationtocontrolanxietysymptomsisneitheradvocatednorprohibitedinScripture.Fourth,somecounselingtechniquesareinconsistentwithScripture.Forexample,thecounselorwhoadvocatesadulteryasatreatmentformidlifedepressioniscontradictingaprincipleofScripture.

Wecanseeseveralbenefitstothisclassificationsystem.First,itremindsusthatusingScriptureincounselingisnotjustamatterofquotingormemorizingBibleverses.OurviewsofScripturecanbeconsideredinselectingeverytechnique,eventhosethathavenoovertreligiousconnections.Clearly,Christiancounselorsneedtoavoidinterventionsthatfallintothefourthcategory—thosethatareincompatiblewithScripture.Second,thisclassificationallowsustorecognizeandconfidentlyusecounselingtechniquesthatarecompatiblewithScripture,evenifthosetechniquesweredevelopedbynon-Christians.Duringsomesessions,Christiancounselingmaybealmostindistinguishablefromotherformsofcounselingyetstillbeeffective.Third,itremindsustoscrutinizeourcounselingstrategiesandperspectivescarefully.Inevaluatingthemessagesofprophets,PaulinstructedthebelieversatThessalonicato“testeverything;holdfasttowhatisgood;abstainfromeveryformofevil”(1Thes.5:21-22).Wehaveasimilarobligationascounselors.AswetestnewtheoriesandtechniqueswithScripture,wecanabstainfromcertaincounselingstrategiesthatcontradictScriptureandholdfasttothosethatarecompatiblewithScripture.

Inadditiontomakingageneralevaluationofscripturalsupportforcounselingmethods,

itisalsoimportanttoconsiderthespecificeffectsofdirectlyapplyingScriptureincounseling.WhenisitwisetoquoteScripturetoaclient?IsScripturememoryappropriateincounseling?IsBiblemeditationanappropriatehomeworkassignment?Toaddressthesecomplexquestions,itishelpfultoconsiderthethreequestionsderivedfromthemodelpresentedinchapter2asappliedtotwocounselingscenarios.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Youarriveattheoffice,sitatyourdesk,siponacupofbittercoffee,andchecktheday’sschedule.At2:00youareseeingPeteandKateBalistic,andat3:30youareseeingRichardYavis.Eachsessionwillposedifferentchallenges.Youstartplanning.

TheBalisticshavebeencomingtoseeyoufortwomonths,sometimesforindividualsessionsandsometimesforjointsessions.TheystartedseeingyouatPete’sinsistencewhenhefoundoutaboutKate’saffair.Shedutifullystoppedtheaffair,agreedtocounseling,andhasbeenworkingtomoveforwardwithherlife.SheisdisappointedwithhermarriageandcannotyetpromisePetethatshewantstostaymarried.PeteistryingtohelpyoucounselKate.HecomeseachweekwithatypewrittenlistofevidencethatKatehasnottrulyrepentedandthatsheisrefusingtosubmittohermarriagevows.PetelovesScripture,andatthetopofhislisteachweekareoneortwoBibleversesthatheusestosupporthisallegationsthatKateisavilesinnerandanunworthyspouse.Interestingly,Kateneverfightsback.Sherecognizesthatsheisavilesinner,expressesregretforheraffair,butdoesnotfeelreadytocommittothemarriage.From2:00to3:30oughttobeinterestingtoday.

At3:30RichardYaviswillbeflippingthroughaSportsIllustratedinthewaitingroom.Asyouusherhimintotheoffice,hewillmakesomecommentabouttheNBAplay-offs,butassoonashesitsdown,hewillbeworking.Insightful,motivated,articulate,Richardistheidealcounselingclient.Forthepastthreemonthshehasbeenseeingyouforhelpwithdepressionandhasbeenfeelingmuchbetterrecently.Forthelastseveralweeks,youandRichardhavebeenexploringtheprofoundsenseoflonelinessheexperiencedasachildandhowhetriestobeperfectinordertowinapprovalandcopewithhisloneliness.LikePete,RichardlovesScripture.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofSelf?Threepeopleareinvolvedinthesetwocounselingsessions,andtheproperuseofScriptureincounselingmaybedifferentforeachofthethree.Petedoesnothaveanaccurateviewofhimself.RatherthanacknowledgehisangerandsadnessaboutKate’saffair,hehasshieldedhimselfbyusinglogicandbyhurlingaccusationsinKate’sdirection.Hehascloakedhimselfwithself-sufficiency,notbecauseofnarcissism,butbecauseithurtstoomuchtofacehisfeelingsofloss.HowcouldScripturebeusedtogivePeteahealthierandmoreaccurateawarenessofhimself?

ShouldacounseloruseScripturetoconfrontPetewithhisself-deception,perhapsremindingPeteofhisobligationtoloveKateasChristlovesthechurchorhisobligationtoforgiveKateasChristhasforgivenhim?Probablynot.PeteisalreadyusingScripturetoprotecthimselfandremainself-sufficient.Hecanmoveforwardandadmithisneedforcomfortonlybygettingpasthislogicaldefensesystem.

WithPete,itmakesmoresensetofocusonthetherapeuticrelationship,perhapsbymeetingwithhimindividuallyforseveralsessionsandencouraginghonestdisclosureofhisfeelingsoffear,sadness,andanger.Scripturemightbeusedasacontemplativetool,eitherinsideoroutsideofthecounselingsessions.Forexample,Pete’scounselormightteachhimtocontemplatepassagesfromthebookofHoseaorthepassageinMatthew11:28-30,payingcloseattentiontohisownemotionalresponsetoKate’sunfaithfulness.Onceheacknowledgesandbeginstodealwithhisbrokennessandpain,hewillhavelessneedtocriticizeandhumiliateKate.

Katealsohasaninaccurateviewofherself,butherself-sufficiencyisrootedinadeepsenseofinferiority.FromasearlyasKatecanremember,shehasconsideredherselfworthwhileonlyifshehastheapprovalofeveryonearoundher.WhenshemetPete,shelovedhisrugged,decisivestyle.Theymarried,andatfirstshelovedtosubmittohisleadership.Heappreciatedher,andshewashappy.Butwithtime,thedemandskeptcoming;hestoppedshowingasmuchappreciation;andKate’shappinessbeganslippingthroughherfingers.Whenanothermanshowedherattentionandappreciation,shewasdrawnoffintoanotherromance.Nowshehasnoone’sattention,noone’sappreciation.Sheissad,lonely,andconfused,andsheprotectsherselffromfurthercriticismbyremainingalooffromPete.

ShouldthecounselorsidewithPeteanduseScripturetodemonstrateKate’sapostasy?Probablynot.Katewillseeherselfhonestlyonlyinthecontextofanurturingcounselingrelationship.IfthecounselortakesPete’sside,itwillmakesucharelationshipimpossible.UltimatelyKateneedstoadmithersin,butshewillnotbeabletoifsheisconstantlyfeelingtheneedtodefendherself.Onceshefeelssafewithhercounselor,shewillbeginexploringhersin.ScripturemightbeusedeffectivelywithKate,butnotinaharsh,confrontiveway.KatemightfindtremendouscomfortinScriptureifitwerenotusedtocontrolher,asPetehasdoneforyears.Intheprocess,Katemightlearntoviewherselfmoreaccuratelyasachild

ofalovingCreatorwhoprovidesuswithmoralboundariesthathelpusestablishanabundantlifethatbringshonortoGod.

Richard’ssenseofselfischanging.Hehasidentifiedhisself-sufficienteffortstoearnapprovalthroughperfectionismandislearningaboutrelationshipsbasedonlove,respect,andhonestexpressionofneed.ExplicitlyusingScriptureincounselingmightbeveryhelpfulforRichard.Forexample,hemightmemorizeTitus3:4-7:“ButwhenthegoodnessandlovingkindnessofGodourSaviorappeared,hesavedus,notbecauseofanyworksofrighteousnessthatwehaddone,butaccordingtohismercy,throughthewaterofrebirthandrenewalbytheHolySpirit.ThisSpirithepouredoutonusrichlythroughJesusChristourSavior,sothat,havingbeenjustifiedbyhisgrace,wemightbecomeheirsaccordingtothehopeofeternallife.”ScripturemighthelpRichardgethiseyesoffhimselfbyexperiencingGodmorerichly,enteringfurtherintoanawarenessofGod’sgraciouspresenceinhislife.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofNeed?PetehasaclearsenseofKate’sneed,buthedoesnotacknowledgehisownbrokenness.Thus,ifScriptureisusedinworkingwithPete,itshouldberelatedtohisneedandnotKate’s.ItisimportanttorecognizethatPetealreadyfeelsbroken,buthehashiddenhisinnerfeelingsbeneathafacadeofself-righteousness.HiscounselorwillprobablynotneedtoconfrontPete;justprovidingasaferelationshipwillbeenoughforPetetobeginexploringhisfeelings.EvenifconfrontingPeteisnecessary,itshouldbedoneonlyafterasafecounselingrelationshiphasbeenestablished.

ThoughKatehasnotexpressedmuchremorseaboutheraffair,sheisinwardlyoverwhelmedwithbrokennessandneed.Itisunnecessary,andprobablydamaging,touseScripturetoconfrontKatewithhersin.ItiswisetofollowthepatternJesususedwhenconfrontedwithawomancaughtinadultery.Firsthesaid,“NeitherdoIcondemnyou”(John8:11);thenhesaid,“Goyourway,andfromnowondonotsinagain.”CounselingwithKateshouldfollowthesamepattern,withacounselorfirstacceptingandunderstandingher,thenworkingwithhertostrengthenhercommitmenttomarriage.

Richardhasbeeninsightfulenoughnotonlytorecognizehisunrealisticgoalsofearningapprovalthroughperfectionbutalsotoexplorehislong-standingfeelingsofloneliness.AlthoughScripturemaybeusefulinotherways,itisprobablynotnecessarytouseScripturetoestablishRichard’ssenseofneedforGodandothers.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealingRelationship?Pete,Kate,andRichardaredifferentpeople,andeachwillhaveadistinctiveresponsetotheuseofScriptureincounseling.SometimesusingScriptureincounselinghelpsestablishacloseworkingalliance,andatothertimesitdistractsfromahealthytherapeuticrelationship.Forexample,KatemighthaveanegativeresponseifhercounselorusesScriptureandmightbecomemoreresistantandcautiousinexploringherthoughtsandfeelings.Evenwithgoodintentions,counselorscansometimesintroducerelationalproblemsbyexplicitlyusingScriptureincounseling.164

Problem1:Ithoughtyouwereacounselor.PeopleoftenchooseChristiancounselorsbecausetheirusualreligiousexperienceshavenothelpedthemresolvetheirproblems.TheyarelookingforsomethingdifferentfromwhattheyfindinchurchonSundaymorning.IfcounselorsuseScriptureunwisely,theymayviolateclients’expectationsaboutcounselingandslowdowntherapport-buildingprocess.

Problem2:MayIsaysomething?IfcounselorsbecometoostridentinprovidingScriptureforclients,theymayenduptalkingwhentheyshouldbelistening.Manyformsofcounselingincludedidacticcomponents,butwhenthesessionsstartfeelinglikelecturesorlessons,clientswilloftendistancethemselvesfromthecounselingprocess.

Problem3:Thesafezone.SomecounselorsmayuseScriptureinordertokeepcounselingsessionsatanintellectual,logicallevelofcommunication.Thismayreflectthecounselors’ownsenseofinsecurityanddesiretoavoidemotionsasmuchasanideologicalcommitmenttousingScripture.Effectivecounselingusuallyreachesdeepintoaperson’semotionalstateandrequiresmorethananintellectuallookatlife.Ofcourse,Scripturecanbeusedinemotionallysensitivecounselingaswell,sothiscriticismdoesnotapplytoallusesofScriptureincounseling.

Problem4:Overconfidencephenomenon.Manysocial-psychologystudiesdemonstratethathumansareconsistentlymoreconfidentthantheyarecorrect.Evenincorrectopinionsarecherishedandbelievedtenaciously.WhenweapproachScripture,wearevulnerabletothesamephenomenon,sowemaynotreadilyrecognizethelimitstoourhermeneuticstrategies.Thus,counselorswhouseScriptureexplicitlyarevulnerabletoappearingandbeingarrogantinthebiblicalinterpretations.Arrogancehurtsrapport!

Problem5:Overreliancephenomenon.Finally,wemayrelyexcessivelyonScripturewhenwecouldbeusingothercounselingstrategies.Cognitive-therapystrategiescanbequicklyandeffectivelyappliedtotreatpanicdisorders.Behavioralstrategiesreducephobicreactions.IfwerelytooheavilyonScripture,wemaymissothervalidtreatmentoptions.Becausethetherapeuticrelationshipisbuiltontheassumptionthatthecounselorknowshowbesttotreattheclient’sproblem,overrelianceonalessdirecttechniquecanhurtthetherapyrelationship.

Oneapproachtothislistofproblemsistosay,“Idon’tcare.Scriptureistruth,andIwill

continuetouseitincounseling.Irefusetosugarcoattruth!”Forthoseinclinedtorespondthisway,itisimportanttorememberthattruthisalmostalwayscommunicatedinembodiedform.MostofwhatweknowaboutgraceandsalvationisaccessibletousbecauseJesuswasincarnatedanddemonstratedalivingtheology.Tosomeextent,ourunderstandingofGodisaffectedbythewaysourparentstreatedus.Weremembermoviesandstoriesmorethanessaysbecausewearequickertoobserveandunderstandtruththatisembodied.Inthesameway,truthiscommunicatedmorebywhothecounseloristhanbywhatthecounselorsays.ThevitalityofScriptureincounselingislimitedbythequalityofthecounselingrelationship.

Thoughlessimportantthanaclient’srelationshipwithGod,thecounselingrelationshipisoftenthemechanismbywhichGod’sgraceisintroducedtoahurtingperson.ByfosteringahealthyChristian-counselingrelationship,withorwithouttheexplicituseofScripture,weprovideclientswithaglimpseofGod’sgrace.

FacingtheChallenges

Challenge1:MovingfromTwoAreasofCompetencetoThreePsychologicalcompetenceincounselingisimportant.ThebestcounselorsuseScriptureonlyaftercarefullyconsideringthepsychologicalimplicationsandtheeffectonthetherapeuticrelationship.Unfortunately,aswithotherreligiousinterventions,theuseofScriptureisrarelydiscussedingraduatetrainingprograms,evenprogramswithareligiousorientation.165Notsurprisingly,explicitlyusingScriptureincounselingisrelativelyrareforChristiancounselors.166Inreportingthis,Iamnotsuggestingadismalstateofaffairs:itseemscautionisappropriateinusingScriptureincounseling.However,competencebringsincreasedfreedom,andChristiancounselorswhohavecarefullyconsideredtheimplicationsofvariousreligiousinterventionsarebetterpreparedtouseScriptureconfidentlyandappropriatelyintheirclinicalwork.

Basictheologicalcompetenceisalsoimportant.CounselorswhounderstandtheauthorityandpositionofScriptureinChristianlivingarebetterpreparedtodealwiththecomplexissuestheyuncoverinthecounselingoffice.Counselorswithoutminimaltheologicalcompetenceareatriskofcreatingatheologybasedonthehumanproblemsseeninthecounselingoffice,andtheymaydistortScripturetofitpreconceivedtheologicalnotions.

UnderstandingtheroleofScriptureinspiritualformationisalsoimportantforChristiancounselors.WeneedtobeconcernednotonlyabouttheologicallyproperandcorrectuseofScripturebutalsoaboutthepowerofScripture.Scripturewasgiventohelptransformourlives.Itispowerful,active,andusefulfortrainingourselvestoberighteous(Heb.4:12;2Tim.3:16).CompetentChristiancounselingcallsustoknowthepowerofGodintransforminglivesandthevitalroleScriptureplaysinthetransformingprocess.Thistypeof

trainingcanrarelybeaccomplishedintheclassroom.ButitcallsustolivesofspiritualdisciplineandapersonalloveforScripture.

Challenge2:BlurredPersonal-ProfessionalDistinctionsInonesense,usingScriptureinChristiancounselingcanbelimitedtoaprofessionaldiscussion.Forexample,certainScripturepassagescanbeusedtodisputevariousformsofunhealthyself-talk.167Theseversesmightbeequallyeffectiveascounselingtoolsregardlessofthecounselor’spersonalreligiousvalues.Inthesameway,acounselormightlearntousefacialexpressionstocommunicateinterestandactivelistening,andthoseexpressionsmightbehelpfulevenifthecounselorisnotactuallylistening.

Butinanothersense,theuseofScripture,liketheuseofactivelisteningskills,isareflectionofthecounselor’sinnerlife.Appearingtolistenisnosubstituteforlistening.AppearingtoloveScriptureisnosubstituteforlovingScripture.Ourinnerlife,shapedbyGod’stransformationofourcharacterthroughScriptureandothermeans,isourgreatestresourceinhelpinghurtingpeople.AChristianpsychiatristwrites,“Thehealerwhowouldbespiritual,whowouldpracticehealinginaChristiancontext,mustbeconstantlyvigilantforthefalselyspiritualinhis/herpractice.GenuinespiritualitywillbeevidencedbytheappearanceoffruitoftheSpirit(love,joy,peace,patience,etc.)inthepractitioner.”168

WhenScriptureisusedcreatively,spontaneously,andconfidentlyincounseling,itisonlybecausethecounselorissoclosetoGod’sWordthattheideasandprinciplesinScripturehavebecomecontagious.ForcounselorswiththistypeofloveforScripture,thegoalisnottocarefullypickandchooseversesthatcanbeintegratedintocounselingpracticebuttobesaturatedbyGod’sWordsothatcounselingpractice(andeveryotherpartoflife)istransformedandrenewedbyGod’spresence.SometimesthesecounselorsexplicitlyuseScriptureincounseling,andsometimestheydonot.ButtheyroutinelyconsiderthethemesofScripturewhenevaluating,planningtreatmentinterventions,andrelatingtoclients.

Challenge3:ExpandedDefinitionsofTrainingHowdowetrainourselvestouseScripturesensitivelyforthespiritualdevelopmentofourclients?ByfirstlearningtouseScriptureinourpersonalspiritualdevelopment.Ioffertwosuggestions.

First,bothDallasWillardandRichardFosterdescribestudy,includingstudyofScripture,asanimportantdisciplineforthespirituallife.WillarddescribesstudyasanimportantcontributionthatwemaketoourrelationshipwithGod.169Thisisnotnecessarilythecram-for-examtypeofstudythatwelearnincollegeandgraduateschool.Itdoesnotrequireustohaveadeskfilledwithopencommentaries,Bibledictionaries,lexicons,andsoon.RatheritisacommitmenttoreadingandtotryingtounderstandGod’swillrevealedinScripture.FostersuggestsselectingabookoftheBibleandreadingitstraightthroughto

identifythethemesandflowofthebook.170Second,usingScriptureforspiritualgrowthrequirestimeforreflection.Weget

accustomedtoreadingquicklytosurvivethechallengesoftheacademicandprofessionalworlds,butreadingquicklyisnotaneffectivegoalwhenapproachingScripture.AfterreadingabookoftheBiblethroughinonesitting,itmightbehelpfultospendthirtyminutesperdayforthenextyearreadingitveryslowlyandreflectingonthepromisesofScripture.Willardinstructs,“Wenotonlyreadandhearandinquire,butwemeditateonwhatcomesbeforeus;thatis,wewithdrawintosilencewhereweprayerfullyandsteadilyfocusonit.InthiswayitsmeaningforuscanemergeandformusasGodworksinthedepthsofourheart,mind,andsoul.”171Meditationisanessentialpartofthespiritualdisciplineofstudy.

Challenge4:ConfrontingDominantViewsofMentalHealthInsofarasdominantmodelsofmentalhealthencourageclientstolookinsidethemselvesortoacounselorforstandardsofconductandprinciplesofmorality,usingScripturetakescounselinginadifferentdirectionbysuggestinganexternalsourceoftruth.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Wendycriessoftlyasshedescribesherfeelingsofshametohertherapist,Dr.R.E.Teeguy.Unhappyinhermarriage,Wendyagreedtogoonabusinesstripwithacoworker.Whiletheywereawaytogether,shehadsexwithhim.Sinceshereturned,shehasfeltoverwhelmedwithguiltandshame.

Dr.Teeguyinterrupts,“I’mwonderingwhyyouareupsettingyourselfsomuchaboutyourdecisiontosleepwithTom.”

“BecausewhatIdidwasterriblywrong.IcheatedonMike.Ibetrayedhistrust,andnowIdon’tevenknowhowtoactaroundTom.”

“Icanseethisisupsettingforyou,butIdon’tagreethatyouhavetobeupset.Canyouprovetome,logically,thatwhatyoudidwasterriblywrong?Itsoundsasifyou’resayingthatyouhavebrokenthelaworsomethingandthatyouarenowaworthlesspersonbecauseofhavingsleptwithTom.”

WecanseewhereDr.Teeguyisheaded.HebelievesWendyisupsettingherselfunnecessarilywitharbitrarystandardsofmorality.Bydismissingher“silly”ideasofrightandwrong,Wendymightfeelgreatreliefafterthesession.BothDr.TeeguyandWendythinkofitasasuccessfulcounselingsession.

ThoughDr.Teeguymightsaythatheholdsnoreligiousvalues,heactuallyhasdeifiedhimselfbyassumingthathisvaluesofrightandwrongarebetterandmorecarefullyreasonedthanWendy’s.HeencouragesWendytoaccepthisvaluesandfeelgreaterpeace

abouthavingsleptwithTom.Thisisanextremeexample,chosentoillustratetheproblemofremovingexternal

standardsofrightandwrongfromthecounselingoffice.Mostcounselors,regardlessoftheirreligiousperspectives,aremoresensitivetoreligiousvaluesthanDr.Teeguy.Butevenreligiouslysensitivecounselorsaresometimesguiltyofunderminingexternalstandardsofrightandwrongandofencouragingclientstolookinsidethemselvesfortruth.InhispresidentialaddressfortheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation’sDivisionofPsychotherapy,Dr.StanleyGrahamstated:“Quiteearlyinthetreatmentprocess,thepatientbeginstousewordslikegoodandbad,anditisourtendencyastherapiststodiminishtheintensityofthesewordssincetheyrelatetoavaluesystemwithintheindividualthathasledtothecurrentstateofstress.Myownpersonalviewofthelastthirtyyearsofpsychotherapyisthatwehavecollectivelydoneanexcellentjobofdiminishingthedemonstrationofgoodandbadandaverypoorjobofreplacingtheseconceptswithacceptabledefinitionsthatallowtheindividualself-acceptanceandpeace.”172

ThoughGrahamwasnotarguingforexplicitlyreligiousformsofpsychotherapy,ChristiancounselorscanresolvehisconcernbyrespectingScriptureasanexternalauthorityforvaluesandmorality.Christiancounseling,rootedinacommitmenttoScripture,retainswordssuchasrightandwrong.Clientscanstilllookinsidethemselvesforfeelings,experiences,thoughts,andassumptions,buttheydonothavetofindtruthinsidethemselves.Christiancounselingleavesroomforexternalauthority:GodcanstillbeGod.

Ofcourse,wemustbecarefulnottobetoostridentinourassertionsaboutScriptureincounselingbecauseourinterpretationsofScripturearelimitedbyhumanfallennessandourimperfecthermeneuticstrategies.SomeclientshaveunhealthybeliefsthattheysupportwithadistortedunderstandingofScripture.Sodosomecounselors.Wemustbehumble,submitourselvestoGod’sguidance,andlearnfromoneanother.

Challenge5:EstablishingaScientificBaseUnfortunately,theuseofScriptureincounselinghasreceivedverylittlescientificattention.Thehypothesis,whichawaitsscientificverification,wasstatedwellbyDr.Siang-YangTan:“Itisproposedthatabiblicalapproachtocounseling...thatexplicitlyutilizesChristianreligiousvaluesorperspectivesandinterventions(e.g.,prayerandtheuseofScriptures)andreliesonappropriatespiritualgiftsandthepowerandministryoftheHolySpirit,makesuniquecontributionstocounselingeffectiveness,especiallywithreligious,Christianclients.Furtherresearchisneededtodeterminetheempiricalvalidityofthisproposal.”173

In1993,whenDr.BradJohnsonreviewedtheoutcomeliteratureonreligiousformsofpsychotherapy,hefoundonlyfivestudiesreportingtheeffectivenessofChristianformsoftherapy.174Ofthese,onlythreeusedScriptureasadirectintervention.Inthebestdesignedofthesestudies,JohnsonandhiscolleaguesusedtwodifferentformsofRational-Emotive

Therapy(RET)andtestedtheireffectiveness.Oneform,ChristianRET,usedScriptureratherthanthehumanreasonofthetherapistasthesourceoftruth.ClientslearnedtochallengeirrationalbeliefswithBiblepassages.Althoughthetreatmenteffectivelyreduceddepression,theresearchersfoundnodifferencesbetweentheoveralleffectivenessofRETandChristianRETamongtheirdepressedChristianparticipants.175Twootherpublishedstudies,bothusingScriptureasatooltocombatirrationalbeliefs,producedsimilarresults.176Interestingly,twostudiesinJohnson’sreviewshowedreligiousinterventionstobemoreeffectivethannonreligiousinterventions,butbothofthesestudiesreliedonChristianimagerymorethanScriptureforthereligiousinterventions.177

Atthistime,theresearchissolimitedthatitisprematuretodrawanyconclusionsabouttheeffectiveuseofScriptureincounseling.Asacademiciansandcliniciansworktogethertocollectadditionalinformationandreportresults,wewillbebetterpreparedtouseScriptureineffectiveandsensitivewaysincounseling.

Challenge6:DefiningRelevantEthicalStandardsManyofthesameethicalissuesconsideredattheendofchapter3arerelevanthere.TheprincipleofcompetencesuggeststhatcounselorsshoulduseScriptureonlyinwaysthatareconsistentwiththeirtraining.Forexample,thepsychologistwhohasnotrainingintheologyneedstoexercisespecialcautionwhenusingScriptureincounseling.TheprincipleofinformedconsentrequirescounselorswhouseScriptureextensivelyincounselingtotelltheirclientssonearthebeginningofthecounselingrelationship.Thecounselorshouldalsodisclosetheclient’salternativesbydiscussingothermodelsoftreatmentavailableelsewhere.Chargingfeesandfilinginsuranceclaimsforscripturallybasedinterventionscreatesthetensionsalreadydiscussedinchapter3.

UsingScriptureincounselingintroducesanotherrisknotdiscussedpreviously:theriskofsignificantlyreducingclientfreedombyimposingthetherapist’svaluesontheclient.Religiouspsychotherapy,ingeneral,introducestheriskofimposingunwantedvaluesorbeliefsonaclient,andexplicitlyusingScriptureincounselingquicklymagnifiesthisrisk.178

WhatIfThisHappened?

Ms.YoungisseeingacounselorattheRidgeIdCounselingCenter.SheisfacingadifficultdecisionaboutherfutureeducationandislookingforChristianguidance.Ms.Younghasalwaysdreamedofbeingapediatrician,butherparentsandherfiancéwanthertomatriculateinatwo-yearnurses-trainingprogram.Withnursestraining,theytellher,shecanmorequicklyentertheworkforceandwillhaveaneasiertimegivinguphercareerwhenherchildrenareborn.ThecounseloratRidgeIdjoinsforceswithMs.Young’smanyadvisersand,basedonaquestionableinterpretationofTitus2:5,tellsherthatScriptureinstructswomentostayathomeoncetheyhavechildren.Hercounselormakesitveryclear:NursingschoolistheoptionbestsupportedwithScripture.

Ms.Youngleavescounselingfeelingconfusedandfrustrated,intentongivingupherlong-standinggoalinordertodowhatGodwantshertodo.

ThiscounselornotonlycommunicatedapersonalpreferenceforMs.Youngtochoosenursingschoolbutalsosuggested,byreferringtoScripture,thatGodwantshertochoosenursingschool.Undersuchcircumstances,Ms.Younghaslostfreedom.Inhermind,shecanchooseonlytogiveuphergoaltobeapediatricianortorebelagainstGod.UsingScriptureincounselingmagnifiestheriskofunethicalcoercionorinappropriatevalueimposition.ThisisnottosaythatweshouldalwaysavoidusingScriptureincounselingbutthatwearewisetoconsidertherisksandexerciseappropriatecaution.

AlthoughthegreatestattentionhasbeengiventowhetherornotitisethicaltouseexplicitlyChristiantechniquesincounseling,oneauthorhasturnedthequestionaround:IsitethicalforaChristiancounselornottouseexplicitlyreligiousinterventionsintherapy?DavidHollingarguesthatapastoralpsychotherapisthasanobligationtotreatpatientsdifferentlyfromthewayatraditionaltherapistmight,byusingScripture,prayer,rituals,doctrines,andsacraments.179Hispointisworthconsidering.IfweclaimtobespecialistsinChristiancounseling,thenourworkwithreligiousclientsoughttolookdifferentfromtheworkofthosewhospecializeindifferentformsofcounseling.

SummaryScriptureispowerfulandcankeepusfocusedontimelesstruthinthemidstofprofessionsvulnerabletofadsandshiftingstandardsofrightandwrong.SomeChristiancounselorshaveusedScripturetosupportcounselingmodelsorasaspecificinterventiontoolincounseling,butsurveyresearchsuggeststhattheexplicituseofScriptureisquiterareamongChristiancounselors.

WhencounselorschoosetouseScriptureincounseling,itisimportanttoconsiderthespecificeffectsitmighthaveonaclient,basedonacarefulassessmentoftheclient’sneeds,thetherapeuticrelationship,andethicalstandards.Also,itisimportanttobalanceahealthyrespectforScriptureasGod’sspecialrevelationwithpersonalhumility,recognizingthatallinterpretationsofScripturearelimitedbyourimperfecthermeneuticmethods.OurknowledgeofGod,self,andScriptureareallinterrelated,andourcapacitytounderstandanyoneoftheseelementswilladdtoourabilitytounderstandtheothers.

InorderforScripturetoeffectsignificantchangeinthelivesofcounselorsandclients,itmustbeinternalizedandpersonalizedoutsideofcounselingsessions.Meditating,contemplating,andprayingfromScriptureareoftenhelpfulinspiritualgrowth,especiallywhenwediscardthenotionthatmoreisbetter.Sometimesthirtyminutesarebetterspentcontemplatingoneortwoversesthanreadingseveralchapters.

UponReflection

SinceIwrotethefirsteditionofthisbook,threehumblingeventshavecausedmetothinkfurtherabouttheuseofScriptureincounseling.First,acolleagueatWheatonCollegewroteachapteronhermeneutics,whichwaspublishedinabookthatatheologiancolleague,TimothyPhillips,andIedited.180Inhischapter,RichardSchultzgaveexampleafterexampleofChristiancounselorsmisusingScriptureintheirwrittenwork.Richard’schapterstoppedmeshort,remindingmeofhowself-servingwecanbewhenapproachingScripture.ItistemptingtogotoScripturetofind“proof”foranideathatwealreadyhaveratherthantoformourideasbasedonasolidandwiseunderstandingofScripture.Letmestateitevenstronger:asaprofessionalmovement,weoughttobeashamedofhowwehavedistortedScriptureforourownbenefit,sometimeswithblatantdisregardfortheintendedmeaningoftheBible.

Thesecondhumblingexperienceoccurredinarecordingstudio.AsImentionedinthepreviouschapterupdate,onprayer,severalyearsagotheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation(APA)askedmetorecordapsychotherapyvideodemonstratingChristiancounseling.Thisinvolvedseeingfourclientsinoneevening,withsessionsatsix,seven,eight,andnine,ineachcasesurroundedbythreecamerasandtheiroperators.Foramorningperson,thiswasabitofachallenge,especiallywhennineo’clockrolledaround.Aftertheeveningofthetaping,IsleptlightlyandthenwentbacktothestudiothefollowingmorningtoreviewthesessionsandselectarecordingforthepublishedDVD.Frankly,Iwasappalledtoseemycounselingapproachwiththenineo’clockclientfromtheeveningbefore.The

sessionbeganwiththeclienttellingmethathehadmemorizedRomans8,whilealsodescribinghisdesiretoliveapureandgodlylife.Ratherthanfollowtheemotionalcuesanddigdeeperintotheconflicthewasfeelingabouttemptationsandstruggles,IbegantotalkwithhimabouttheendofRomans7.Biblicallyspeaking,itisanimportantpreludetoRomans8,butourconversationseemedtobemoreaboutimpressingeachotherwithourknowledgeofScripturethanaboutmelistening—reallylistening—totheclient’spresentingconcerns.ThehostoftheAPApsychotherapyseriessmiledwhenItoldhimIdidn’tlikehowthesessionstarted.Hereplied,“Yes,itsoundsasifyouwereplayingBibleBowl.”Ipassedoverthatsessionandchosetheseveno’clocksessionforthepublishedAPAvideo.

I’lldescribethethirdhumblingeventattheendofthisupdate.ButthefirsttwoexperiencesremindmethatScriptureiscriticallyimportantinshapingourunderstandingofGod,self,oneanother,andtheworldaroundus,butthisdoesnotmeanthatusingScripturemoreoftenormoreexplicitlyincounselingisalwaysagoodidea.ShouldwegiveuponusingtheBibleexplicitlyinChristiancounseling?No.Butweneedtobewiseanddiscerning.InthisupdateIoffertwocautionsfortheuseofScripture,bothillustratedbythehumblingexperiencesIhavejustdescribed:(1)counselorsmightunwittinglygobeyondtheirknowledgeandmisuseScriptureintheprocess,and(2)theuseofScripturecanhaveanintellectualizingeffectonconversations.ThenIaffirmthatScripturecanindeedbeusedexplicitlyinChristiancounselingandgivetwoexamplesfromtherecentliterature.Finally,Iconcludewithmythirdevent—astoryaboutDallasWillardthatmovesmeeverytimeIrecallit.

Caution1:MaintainingaHumbleAwarenessofOurLimitedKnowledgeOneofthebasicethicalprinciplesofeverycounselingprofessionisthatwenotgobeyondtheboundariesofourcompetence.Ifwedon’tknowhowtouseaparticulartypeoftreatmentortechnique,thenwegetsupervisedtrainingbeforeofferingtheseservicesincounseling.Irememberbackintheearly1990swhencounselorswerestartingtotalkaboutEyeMovementDesensitizationandReprocessing(EMDR).Itseemedfairlysimple,whichtemptedmetostartwavingmyfingerbackandforthinfrontofmyclients’eyestoseewhathappened.FortunatelyIresistedthetemptationbecauseIwasnottrainedtouseEMDR.AfewyearslatermanyChristiancounselorsweretalkingaboutTheophosticMinistry.Again,themethodsseemedfairlystraightforward,andIwastemptedtotrytheinner-healing-prayermethodsthatIsawonatrainingvideo.ButIhadnotreceivedadequatetraining,andIresistedtheurge.Idon’tregretpassingupeitheroftheseopportunities,holdingfirmtomyethicalcommitmenttoprovideonlythoseservicesIamcompetenttoprovide.

Weoughttoholdtosimilarprincipleswhenitcomestobiblicalhermeneutics.Havinga

cursoryunderstandingoftheBiblemaynotbesufficientevenifapassageseemsfairlystraightforwardandeasytounderstand.ScriptureisagrandandbeautifulnarrativeofGod’sdealingwithbrokenhumanity,butwecannottakeoneversefromaportionofScriptureandassumeitapplieshoweverwemaywantittoapply.Thereareguidelinesandprinciplesforbiblicalinterpretation,justasthereareforEMDRorTheophosticMinistry.OneexcellentsourceforgettingstartedisFeeandStuart’sHowtoReadtheBibleforAllItsWorth.181

Imagineaclientwhohasjustbeendiagnosedwithcancersittinginyouroffice.YoucomforttheclientwithJeremiah29:11:“‘IknowtheplansIhaveforyou,’saystheLORD.‘Theyareplansforgoodandnotfordisaster,togiveyouafutureandahope’”(NLT).Yourclientfeelshopeandcomfortfromthesewords,andrightlyso.Indeed,thesewordsshowthecharacterofaGodwholongstosaveandredeemusfromdisaster,anditmaywellbethatthisclientwillbesuccessfullytreatedforcancer.Butitisalsotruethatthesearespecificwords,writtenbyJeremiah,tothesouthernkingdomofIsraeltoprovidecomfortforanationthatwastospendseventyyearsincaptivityinBabylon.WhileJeremiah’swordsstillrevealthegeneralcharacterofagraciousandredemptiveGod,theycannotbetakenasGod’spromiseforeverytroublingsituationwefaceincontemporarylife.IfthisversefromScriptureisusedatallinthecounselingsituationjustdescribed,perhapsitwouldbegoodtoadd,“Jeremiahwrotethesewordsforadifferentsituationthanwhatyouface,buttheystilltellussomethingimportantaboutGod’snature.”

RichardSchultz’schapterhascausedmetothinktwicebeforementioningBibleversesinmycounselingandmywriting.Scriptureispowerfulandlifechanging,deservingproperrespectandthoughtfulinterpretation.

Caution2:TheIntellectualizingEffectsofUsingScriptureMyBibleBowlexperiencehastaughtmehoweasyitistouseScripturetoavoidthemoredifficulttaskofsittingwithpainandstruggle.UsingScriptureoftenmovesconversationstoanintellectuallevel,andifwearenotcautious,wemayunwittinglyuseittoeaseourownanxietyaboutourclients’pain.Forexample:

Client:Thetestcamebackpositive.It’sastageIIIcancer,whichistreatable,butit’shardtoknowwhatwillhappen.

Counselor:Ohmy,I’msosorrytohearit.That’ssuchhardnews.

Client:Yes(sobsquietly).

Counselor:AttimeslikethisIoftenthinkofJeremiah’swords,“‘IknowtheplansIhaveforyou,’saystheLORD.‘Theyareplansforgoodandnotfor

disaster,togiveyouafutureandahope.’”

Client:Yes,thankyou.

Atfirstglancethisinterventionmayappeartobewiseandspirituallymature,butitmaybeneither.ThisuseofScripturemovestheclientawayfromexploringthepainassociatedwiththisshockingandpainfuldiagnosis,andbacktosometheoretical,intellectuallevelthatdistancesthecounselingandclientfromtheangstofthemoment.WhiletheJeremiahpassagemightbehelpfullaterinthesession,fornowthecounselor’staskistositwiththeclientinthemidstofthispain,usingwordsofempathy,ifwordsaretobeusedatall.Perhapssittingsilentlyisthewisestandmostspirituallymatureoptionatthismoment.Therewillbetimeforwordslater.

ScriptureCanBeUsedWellinCounselingHavinghighlightedthesecautions,letmeagainemphasizethefactthatScripturecanbeusedwellincounseling,bothimplicitlyandexplicitly.TheimplicituseofScriptureisagivenforChristiancounselors.TheBiblehelpsusunderstandhumannature—whatwestrivefor,howwefallshort,howwelongforhealingandredemption.WithoutScripturewewouldbeleftonlywiththeprominentcounselingandpersonalitytheoriesofourtime,andasusefulasthesemaybe,theycannotpossiblyprovideacomprehensiveChristianunderstandingofourdiseasesandourhealing.

Scripturecanalsobeusedexplicitlyasthecounselorofferswordsofhopeandperspectiveattimelymoments.Icouldgivemanyexamplesofthis,butIwillfocusontwothathaverecentlybeendescribedintheintegrationliterature.

Dr.FernandoGarzon182discussestheuseofScriptureintherapyinarecentarticlethathastwospecificaims.ThefirstistoincreaseChristiancounselors’awarenessofthemyriadtypesofScriptureinterventionsthatcanbeusedintreatment,andthesecondistostimulatecreativityaboutwaysScripturecanbeintegratedincounseling.Garzonbeginsbyhighlightingtheimportanceofconsideringethical,cultural,andassessmentissueswhenmakingdecisionsabouttheuseofScriptureinterventions;thenhegoesontogiveexamplesofvariouswaysScripturecanbeusedwithinthecontextofdifferenttherapeuticapproaches.ThearticleoffersanencouragingandthoughtfulpresentationofhowScripture,appliedethicallyandcreatively,canfacilitategrowthandhealinginclients.

Anotherrecentarticle,byDr.DonaldWalker,183focusesontheexplicituseofScriptureinparentingtraining.Thearticlediscussesbiblicalandbehavioralperspectivesonparentingrolesandpractices,withanemphasisonthewaysthesetwoperspectivesbothcorrespondanddivergefromoneanotherintermsofbasicassumptions.WalkerillustratesvariouswaysthatScripturecanbeincorporatedintoabehavioraltrainingmodelforparentsanddescribes

thespecificconditionsinwhichtheexplicitintegrationofScriptureintoparentingtrainingcanbemosteffective.

FinalThoughtsImentionedatthebeginningofthischapterupdatethatIhadthreehumblingstoriestoshare.Thethirdoccurredinthelate1990swhenItaughtatWheatonCollege.Well-knownChristianauthorandphilosopherDallasWillardcametothecampustospeakinchapel.Healsograciouslyagreedtospeaktooneofmydoctoralclassesinclinicalpsychology.Ican’trememberwhathetalkedabout,butIdorememberthis:attheendofourtime,oneofthestudentsaskedhimwhatbringshimhopeandencouragementinlife.

Dallasansweredquickly,asifhehadknowntheanswerformanyyears.“IlovetheBible,”hesaid.HewentontodescribehowmuchheenjoysreadingtheBible,howmanyBibleshehaswornoutovertheyears,andhowprecioushefindsthewordsofScripture.

Idon’tthinkmystudentscouldseeit,butIwassittingclosetoDallasasheansweredthestudent’squestion,andIsawtearswellinginhiseyes.Hisanswer,sovividtomeafteralltheseyears,struckmeasbeautifulandtrue.Oh,howIlongtoloveScriptureasDallasWillarddoes.HowbeautifulthelivesofthosewhocherishGod’sWord.IfindDr.Willard’sexampleinspiringasIdotheworkofChristiancounseling.

Lord,helpmetoloveScriptureasDallasWillarddoes.LetitshapemylifeforgoodsothatIsitinwisdomandkindnesswiththosewhofacepainandstruggle.

AcknowledgmentThankstoRyanC.Staleyforhelpingmewiththischapterupdate.WhenRyanservedasmyresearchassistant,hehelpedmefindcurrentresearchforanumberofthechapterupdates.Ryaniscurrentlydoinghisdissertationonsocialsupportamongpastorsandtheirspousesandhopestoworkwithpastorsandtheirfamiliesafterfinishinghisdoctoraldegree.

AdditionalReadingGordonD.FeeandDouglasStuart,HowtoReadtheBibleforAllItsWorth,3rded.(GrandRapids:Zondervan,2003).

BibliographyFee,GordonD.,andDouglasStuart.HowtoReadtheBibleforAllItsWorth,3rded.GrandRapids:Zondervan,2003.

Garzon,Fernando.“InterventionsthatApplyScriptureinPsychotherapy.”JournalofPsychologyandTheology33(2005):113–121.

Schultz,Richard.“ResponsibleHermeneuticsforWisdomLiterature.”InCarefortheSoul:ExploringtheIntersectionofPsychologyandTheology,editedbyMarkR.McMinnandTimothyR.Phillips,254–275.DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPress,2001.

Walker,DonaldF.“IntegratingScripturewithParentTraininginBehavioralInterventions.”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity26(2007):122–131.

5

Sin

Itisstrikingtoobservethedifferenceonewordcanmakeinthemeaningofasentence.RichardLederer,aNewHampshireEnglishteacher,haswrittenadelightfullittlebooktitledAnguishedEnglish,whichillustratesthesignificanceofthewaysweplaceandusewordsinwritingandspeech.Inonechapterhelistshumorousexcusenoteshehasreceivedfromparentsovertheyears.Forexample,“Mysonisunderthedoctor’scareandshouldnottakeP.E.today.Pleaseexecutehim.”184Onestrategicallyplacedormisusedwordmakesabigdifference!

Similarly,onewordmakesabigdifferenceinthewaytwocounselorsdescribetherelationshipbetweensinandpsychologicaldisturbance.AlbertEllishasarguedthattheconceptofsinisthecauseofvirtuallyallpsychopathology.185JayAdamshasarguedthatsinisthecauseofvirtuallyallpsychopathology(exceptthatwhichiscausedbyorganicfactors).186Atfirstglancethesetwopositionsmightappearalmostidentical.Actuallytheyarediametricallyopposed.WhenEllisreferstotheconceptofsinastheproblem,hemeansthatallweneedtodotobehealthyistodismissoursillyideasaboutrightandwrongandlivealifeofresponsiblepleasureseeking.Adamsleavesoutthewordconcept,suggestingthatsinitselfistheproblem.Peopleareemotionallydisturbedbecausetheyaresinnerswhohavebeendamagedbyothersinnersandwhoneedtorepentandlivemoreobediently.Elliscallsustoeliminateoursensitivitytosin;Adamscallsustoheightenoursensitivity.

ThoughbothEllisandAdamshavebeenmisunderstoodandmisrepresentedbymanyChristiancounselors,theynonethelessrepresentextremesonanideologicalcontinuumregardingtherelationshipofsinandpsychopathology.WhereshouldChristiancounselorspositionthemselvesonthiscontinuum?Andoncewepositionourselves,howforthrightshouldwebeaboutconfrontingourclientsregardingthesinintheirlives?

Foundations

PsychologyThemoststrikingthingaboutthepsychologicalliteratureonsinisitsrelativeabsence.Thoughafewauthorshavewrittenabouttheroleofsininmentalillness,theirarticlesarescatteredsparinglythroughvolumesofjournalsandbooksthatlinetheshelvesofuniversitylibraries.Fromamongthefewpublishedworks,twothemes—similartotheperspectivesofEllisandAdams—canbedistilled.

SinasaCauseofPsychopathologyFirst,afewwritershavearguedthatsinoughttobeseenasanimportantcauseofemotionaldisturbance.Biblicalcounselorshavebeensayingthisforseveraldecades,buttheirwritingisusuallynotvisibleamongthegeneralpsychologicalliterature.Afewpsychologistshaveagreedwithbiblicalcounselorsinseeingsinasacauseofpsychopathology.

Thirtyyearsago,O.HobartMowrerdevelopedagrouptherapyapproachcalledintegritytherapy,whichemphasizedhonesty,responsibility,andmutualconcernincounteractingthepsychopathologicaleffectsofsin.187Mowrerwrites:

Forseveraldecadeswepsychologistslookeduponthewholematterofsinandmoralaccountabilityasagreatincubusandacclaimedourliberationfromitasepoch-making.Butatlengthwehavediscoveredthattobe“free”inthissense,i.e.,tohavetheexcuseofbeing“sick”ratherthansinful,istocourtthedangerofalsobecominglost.Thisdangeris,Ibelieve,betokenedbythewidespreadinterestinExistentialismwhichwearepresentlywitnessing.Inbecomingamoral,ethicallyneutral,and“free,”wehavecuttheveryrootsofourbeing;lostourdeepestsenseofself-hoodandidentity;and,withneuroticsthemselves,findourselvesasking:WhoamI?Whatismydestiny?Whatdoesliving(existence)mean?188

Mowrerreportedbothempiricalandanecdotalevidencetosupporttheconnectionbetweenmoralaccountabilityandmentalhealth—evidencethatheclaimswasselectivelyignoredbypsychologists.189

In1973KarlMenninger,oftheMenningerClinic,publishedwhathasbecomeawidelycitedbook,WhateverBecameofSin?190Menningerarguedthatbothgoodpsychotherapyandgoodreligionhelppeopleconfronttheirself-centerednessandmovebeyondtheirarrogancetoahealthierunderstandingofselfandothers.Morerecently,severalpastoralcounselorshavearguedfortheimportanceofconsideringsinincounseling.191

Mowrer,Menninger,andthosewritinginthepastoralcounselingfielddonotrepresentmainstreampsychologyintheirunderstandingofandemphasisonsin.Mostpsychologistswhowriteaboutsinareinterestedinthecognitiveprocessesusedinunderstandingsinandtheeffectsofthoseprocesses.Theyaremoreinterestedinthehumanconceptofsinthaninsinitself.

TheConceptofSinandPsychopathologyArewesinners,orarewesick?Dowehavemoralproblemsorpsychologicalproblems?Ouranswerstothesequestionsreflectourattributionalstyle,andtheyshapethewaywedocounseling.Byattributionalstyle,psychologistsmeanthewaypeopleexplaingoodandbadeventsintheirlivesandthelivesofothers.

WhatIfThisHappened?

JeffisHIVpositiveandanticipatesdyingofAIDSeventually.Heseekscounselingtodealwithhisemotionalturmoil.AlisonismarriedtoJeffandisdealingwithherownemotionalreactiontoJeff’sillness.Sheisseeingadifferentcounselor.NoticethatJeffandAlison’sattributionalstyleswillaffecttheemotionstheyareconfrontingincounseling.Herearetwopossibleattributionalstyles:

Attributionalstyle1:Jeffasasinner.JeffbelievesheisHIVpositivebecauseheisasinner.Hesaystohimself,“IfIhadmanagedmyhomosexualdesiresbetter,IwouldnothavehadsexwithothermenandwouldnotbeHIVpositivenow.”Alisonhasasimilarattribution.Shesaystoherself,“Jeffbehavedlikeafool,andnowhehasendeduphurtinghisentirefamily.”Becauseoftheseattributions,Jeffisdealingwithfeelingsofshameandguiltincounseling.Alisonisworkingonheranger.

Attributionalstyle2:Jeffassick.JeffseesAIDSasaterriblesickness.Hesaystohimself,“Iamlikelytobecomeavictimofaterribledisease,atragicillness.”AlisonseesJeff’sillnesssimilarlyandsaystoherself,“Thisisatragicexampleofhowunfairlifecanbe.Ayoungmanwillbestruckdownintheprimeofhislife,leavingafamilythatneedshim.”JeffandAlisonbothdealwiththeirfearsandsadnessincounseling.

Theseexamplesillustratehowattributionsleadtodifferentemotionalconsequences.192Whenweviewpeopleassinners,weassumethattheyhadachoiceandthattheyarethereforeresponsiblefortheconsequencesoftheirchoices:“JeffisHIVpositivebecausehechosetohavesexwithanotherman.”Thisisanexampleofaninternalattribution.Afrequentresponsetointernalattributionsistobecomeangryat,andoftentopunish,thesinner.Whenweviewpeopleassick,weassumethattheyhadlittleornocontrolovertheircurrentstate:“AIDSisarandomkiller,strikingpeopledownintheprimeoftheirlives.”Thisiscalledanexternalattribution.Afrequentresponsetoexternalattributionsistofeelsympathyforthevictim.

Anumberofpsychologistshaveprovidedevidencethatourattributionalstyleaffectsmentalhealth.Depressedpeople,forexample,aremorelikelythanotherstoattributebadeventstotheirowninternalflawsandgoodeventstoexternalcauses,suchasluckorrandomchance.Thosewhoresistdepressionmosteffectivelyseebadeventsasresultingfrom

externalorunstablefactors,suchasalackofeffortorbadluck,andgoodeventsasresultingfrominternal,stablequalitiessuchasgoodabilityanddedicatedeffort.193

Thus,basedonattributionaltheory,itisreasonabletoassumethatthosewhoattributebadeventstopersonalsinaremorelikelytobedepressedandangrythanthosewhoseethemselvesassickorasvictimsofunfortunatecircumstances.Notsurprisinglythen,theprevailingmodelofmentalhealthfoundinpsychologyistoviewpeopleassick,anexternalattribution,ratherthanassinners,aninternalattribution.Inordertobreakthroughdysfunctionalcyclesofshameandoverwhelmingfeelingsofguilt,counselorsoftenhelptheirclientsexternalizetheirattributionsforfailuresinlife.Forexample,anumberofarticlesinthesubstance-abuseliteraturearguethatattributingaddictionstosinratherthandiseaseisharmfulanddestructive.Producingguiltandshameappearstodrivepeoplefurtherintoastateofaddiction.

Christiancounselorsfindthemselvescaughtinthemiddleofthesetwoworlds,eachofwhichprefersadifferentattributionalstyle.InourChristiandomain,webelievethatsinisawillfulrebellionagainstGodandthatitoftencarriespainfulconsequencesforoneselforothers.Peoplearesinners,andsinhasbadconsequences.Inourcounselingdomain,wearesometimestoldthatemotionalproblemsresultfromthingsbeyondaperson’scontrol:addictions,diseases,badparenting,unfortunatecircumstances,chemicalimbalances.Onesystemtellsusthatpeoplearesinners;theothertellsusthatpeoplearesick.HowcanwereconcilethesetwoattributionalsystemswithoutgivingupeitherourcommitmenttoChristianityorourcommitmenttocounselingandmentalhealth?Toreconcilethesetwoseeminglydistinctperspectives,weneedtoconsiderthecontributionsofChristiantheologyandspirituality.

ChristianTheologyInthepsychologicalworld,thedistinctionbetweensinandsicknessispresentedasarathersimplisticdichotomy.IntheworldofChristiantheology,wheresinandsicknessareinextricablyconnected,thedichotomydisappears.ConsiderMillardErickson’sdefinitionofsin:“Sinisanylackofconformity,activeorpassive,tothemoralwillofGod.Thismaybeamatterofact,ofthought,orofinnerdispositionorstate.”194Hereweseethatsinandsicknessareintertwinedandinseparable.Sincanbeamatterofactorthought,asisgenerallyassumed,butsinisalsoaninnerdisposition,apartofourcharacterthatresemblesachronicsickness.TheologianEdwinZackrisonexplains:“Biblically,thesinprobleminvolvesmorethansimplyourbadactions,whetherpersonalorsocialintheirimplicationsandcomplications.InScriptureandtheologysinisaconditionthatgoestotherootofourbeingforithastodowithourrelationshiptoouroriginandtoGod.”195Christiantheologyincludesbothapersonalandanoriginalconceptofsin.196ToooftencounselorswhoarenotChristiansunderstandonlythepersonalconceptofsinandtherebymisrepresentChristianity.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Dr.Bestisapsychologistwhoworkswithdepressedpatients,manyofwhomhavereligiousbeliefs.Shenoticesthatherpatientscometotherapyfeelingguilty,oftenbecausetheirbehaviorsarenotconsistentwiththeirreligiousbeliefsystems.Dr.Bestassumestheproblemisreligionandwritesangryarticlesandbooksaboutthepathologicaleffectsofreligion.Herbooksarequitepopular,andmanyotherpsychologistsbeginnoticingsimilarpatternsintheirclients.

Inthisexample,Dr.Bestisusingapartialunderstandingofsin,recognizingonlyitspersonalnatureandoverlookingitsoriginal,universalnature.LikeDr.Best,psychologistswritingaboutsinhavegenerallyassumedthatthemostdevoutChristiansaretheonesmostpreoccupiedwithmanagingsinfulthoughtsandbehaviors,andtheyconcludethatreligionpromotespsychopathology.EricFrommsuggestedthatthegoalsofChristianityarepowerlessnessandobedience,resultinginaprevailingmoodofsorrowandguilt.197ThisisthesameguiltthatAlbertEllisobservedinhisreligiousclients,leadinghimtoconcludethattheconceptofsincausespsychopathology.

Unfortunately,FrommandEllisarenotcompletelywrong.SomeChristiansassumethesame—thatsinisonlypersonalandthatChristianpietyisbestdefinedbycontrollingspecificbehaviors.ThisisknownastheheresyofPelagianism:sinisjustasetofbadhabitsthatweneedtoeliminate.Whenweviewsinaslimitedtopersonalbehaviorsorthoughts,wefallpreytoasin-managementmentalityandbecomevulnerabletolegalismandasceticismandtoexcessiveguiltreactions.TheapostlePaulhadstrongwordsforthosewhotriedtocontroltheirsinnatureusingsin-managementtechniques:“IfwithChristyoudiedtotheelementalspiritsoftheuniverse,whydoyouliveasifyoustillbelongedtotheworld?Whydoyousubmittoregulations,‘Donothandle,Donottaste,Donottouch’?Alltheseregulationsrefertothingsthatperishwithuse;theyaresimplyhumancommandsandteachings.Thesehaveindeedanappearanceofwisdominpromotingself-imposedpiety,humility,andseveretreatmentofthebody,buttheyareofnovalueincheckingself-indulgence”(Col.2:20-23).

Sinismorethanasetofpersonalbehaviors,andmanagingsinrequiresmorethankeepingachecklistofdosanddon’ts.Sinisanoriginalpartofourcharacter,apervasiveelementofthehumancondition.Sinisoursickness.ItisasicknessdatingbacktotheFall,whenAdamandEvechosetosinintheGardenofEden.Eversincetheoriginalsin,everyhumanbeinghasstruggledwithsin.“Therefore,justassincameintotheworldthroughoneman,anddeathcamethroughsin,andsodeathspreadtoallbecauseallhavesinned”(Rom.5:12).

Theubiquityofsinisbothbadnewsandgoodnews.Itisbadbecauseweareindeedsick,burdenedbysinthataffectseveryattitude,behavior,relationship,andthoughtinour

lives.Wearebundlesofmixedmotives,constantlyfightingtoyieldmorecontroltoGodandlesstooursinnature.ItisgoodbecausethisviewofsindisqualifiestheobjectionsofpsychologistswhoclaimChristiansaredestinedtobeemotionallysick.198Christianswhounderstandsinproperlyviewthemselvesaspartofauniversalcommunityofsinners.Ifsinisasickness,somethingthataffectsallpeopleandinterferesconstantlywithourcapacitytomakegoodchoices,thenourattributionsnolongerneedtobeinternalandshameproducing.Weareallpilgrimstogether,strugglingwithcommontemptationsandburdens.Thosewhounderstandsinmostaccuratelyareabletomakebothinternal(personal)andexternal(universal)attributionsforthecausesoftheirproblems.

WhatIfThisHappened?

JeffisHIVpositive,andbothheandAlisonareworkingtomakesenseoftheirfuture.Earlierinthechapter,twopossibleattributionalstylesweresuggested.EitherJeffcouldbeviewedasasinner(aninternalattribution),gettingwhathedeservesforrebelliousbehavior,orhecouldbeviewedasavictimofaterriblesickness(anexternalattribution).Nowwehaveathirdalternativethatcombinesthesetwoattributionalstyles.Yes,Jeffisasinner,andsoiseveryoneelse.Sinisapervasiveforcethataffectsusallinvariousways.Jeff’ssincarriesparticularlyharshconsequencesbecausesicknessaboundsinourfallenworld,includingthesicknessofAIDS.Jeff’ssituationisanillustrationofthesometimesharshconsequencesofsin,butitisnotanillustrationofjudgment;mostofussinwithouttheconsequencesJefffaces.Thisattributionisbothinternalandexternal,bothpersonalandoriginal,leavingroomforsympathyandcompassionaswellasdisappointment,sadness,andanger.

Thosewhounderstandboththepersonalandoriginalnatureofsinareabletoadjusttothenaggingacheoffallenexistencewithoutsuccumbingtotheexcessiveself-condemnationandguiltthatpsychologistshaveoftenassociatedwithreligion.Thebestresponsetosinisnottosinkfurtherintoself-absorptionandself-abasementbuttorecognizeourneedandlookforhealinginrelationshipwithGod.

SpiritualityEnteringdeeplyintothespiritualliferequiresustoabandonsin-managementandtoseekinnertransformationthroughtheworkoftheHolySpirit.RichardFosterputsitwell:“Ourordinarymethodofdealingwithingrainedsinistolaunchafrontalattack.Werelyonourwillpoweranddetermination....Wedeterminenevertodoitagain;weprayagainstit,fightagainstit,setourwillagainstit.Butthestruggleisallinvain,andwefindourselvesonceagainmorallybankruptor,worseyet,soproudofourexternalrighteousnessthat‘whitenedsepulchers’isamilddescriptionofourcondition.”199

WhatIfThisHappened?

Johnseesalaycounselorathischurchbecausehehasbeenfeelingsadandlonelylately.Hiscounselorhelpshimdiscoversomesinfulattitudesandhiddenresentmentsabouthispast,repentofhisunforgivingattitude,andwritealetterofforgivenesstohisparents.Johnfeelsbetterafterwritingtheletter,andheandhiscounselordecidetheirworktogetherisfinished.

Thisstraightforwardapproachtocounselingmayhavesomebenefits,butitisdoubtfulthatJohnwillexperiencelastingspiritualandpersonalgrowthwiththisapproach.Thoughhehasidentifiedsinandvowedtostopfeelingresentful,hehaslearnedlittleaboutamoreintimaterelationshipwithaloving,graciousGod,andhemayfindthatreleasingresentmentismoredifficultthanheandhiscounseloranticipate.Johnistryingtoforgivebyusingwillpower,andwillpowermaynotbethemosteffectiveapproach.FormostpeopleinJohn’ssituation,repentingofresentmentandcomingtotrueforgivenessrequiresadaily“lettinggo”thatisfoundmostperfectlyinprofoundcommunionwithChrist.

Becausesinisoriginalaswellaspersonal,evenourwillpoweristaintedwithevil.Wedeceiveourselves,justifyouractions,valuereputationabovevirtue,compareourselveswiththosewhosinmore(oratleastmoreblatantly),smuglyreassureourselvesthatthingscouldbeworse,andsubstituteonesinforanother.Humanwillpoweralonecanneverconquersinbecausethehumanwillissaturatedwithit.Tocopewithsin,weneedapowergreaterthanhumannature.WeneedGod.ThomasàKempiswroteaboutthisinthefifteenthcentury:“Wemustnotdespairwhenwearetemptedbutinstead,seekGodmorefervently,askingforhishelpinthistimeoftribulation.”200AndThomasMertonsuggestssomethingsimilarinthetwentiethcentury:“PerfectionisnotamoralembellishmentthatweacquireoutsideofChrist,inordertoqualifyforunionwithhim.PerfectionistheworkofChristhimselflivinginusbyfaith.”201Andeventhisfaith,theapostlePaulremindsusinEphesians2:8-9,isagiftfromGod,notanactofhumanwill.

Copingwithtemptationandmanagingsincannotbedonewithwillpoweralonebecause

eventhehumanwillissinful.Howdowecleanseourhandsfromsinandpurifyourheartsfromduplicity?BydrawingneartoGodandallowingGodtodrawneartous.202TherearenoruggedindividualistslivingavictoriousChristianlife,onlythosewholeanonGod.Augustinewrote:“FromThee,OGod,areallgoodthings,andfrommyGodisallmyhealth.”203

BecauseproperlymanagingsinrequiresustotranscendwillpowerandseekGod,thespiritualdisciplinesbecomeessentialtoolsforholiness.Thedisciplinesthemselvesdonotmakeusholy,buttheyopenadoortooursoul,allowingGod’sgraceandtruthtofillus.“Thedemandisforaninsidejob,andonlyGodcanworkfromtheinside.”204

PsychologicalandSpiritualHealthThisdiscussionofsinleadstosomeimportantquestionsforChristiancounselors:ShouldIconfrontsininmyclients’lives?Willconfrontingthemhelpthemexperiencegreaterpsychologicalandspiritualhealth?Dependingonpersonalitystyleandtheoreticalorientation,somecounselorsroutinelyanswernotothesequestionsandavoidconfrontingtheirclients.ThoughIrecognizethatsometheoreticalorientationsrequirethisnonconfrontiveenvironmenttobeeffective,IbelieveconfrontationshouldbeavalidoptionformostChristiancounselorsundermanycircumstances.205ButthequestionShouldweconfrontsinincounseling?likemanyothersposedinthisbook,istoogeneral.Amoreappropriatequestionis,“WhichclientsshouldIconfrontwiththeirsin,andhowshouldIgoaboutconfrontingthem?”

Incounseling,fourapproachestoconfrontingsinareappropriateinvarioussituations:silence,pondering,questioning,anddirectcensure.Inaddition,thereistheoptionofnotconfrontingsin.Eachapproachmustbecarefullyselectedwithregardtotheparticularclient,thesituation,andthenatureofthetherapeuticrelationship.Thefollowingexamplesillustrateeachoftheseapproaches.

SilenceSometimesthebestwaytoconfrontsinistoremainsilentandletclientsworkouttheirfeelingsofguiltandquestionsofblameontheirown.Thisapproachmaybeespeciallyhelpfulforthosewhoseemoverlydependentonthecounselor’sopinion.

Client:Shethinkssheownsme.Iamthirty-fivenow,andIneedhertobemyfriendmorethanmymother.It’sreallynotherbusinesswhomIdateandwhetherIchoosetosleepwithhim.It’smybusiness.IwillsleepwithTomwheneverandwhereverIfeellikeit.

Counselor:(Silence)

Client:I’mnotabadperson.Ithinkthat’swhatshewants.Shewantsmetofeelbad,asIdidwhenIwasateenager.

Counselor:(Silence)

Client:DoyouknowwhatImean?Ijustamtiredoffeelinglikeabadperson.

Noticeherehowtheclientislookingforapprovalfromthecounselor.Sometimesevenanaffirmingheadnodorverbalacknowledgment(“Isee,uh-huh”)isenoughtofeelapprovalfromacounselor.Ifthecounselorhadacknowledgedtheclient’sfirststatement,theclientmightleavethesessionfeelingthathercounseloragreesthatshehastherighttosleepwithTomanytimeandanyplaceshechooses.Silenceisarelativelygentleformofconfrontationthatpreventscounselorsfrominadvertentlypermittingorencouragingsinfulbehaviors.

PonderingPonderingaloudissometimesahelpfulwaytoconfrontclientsindirectlyandcausethemtothinkmoreintentlyabouttheirchoices.Thishassometimesbeencalledthe“Columbotechnique,”namedafterthetelevisiondetectivewhomasteredthisstrategy.

Client:Shethinkssheownsme.Iamthirty-fivenow,andIneedhertobemyfriendmorethanmymother.It’sreallynotherbusinesswhomIdateandwhetherIchoosetosleepwithhim.It’smybusiness.IwillsleepwithTomwheneverandwhereverIfeellikeit.

Counselor:Helpmeouthereaminute.Youaresayingthatyoudon’treallythinkyouneedtobehaveaccordingtoyourmom’swishes.Butthereistensiononyourfaceandinyourvoice,asifyoudon’treallybelievewhatyouaresaying.

Client:Idobelieveit.It’sjustthatsheseemssopowerful.I’vebeenlivingonmyownforeighteenyears,butit’sasifshe’sstillhere,stillcontrollingme.

Counselor:Soit’salmostasifhervoiceisinsideyou.

Client:Yeah,that’sexactlywhatit’slike.

Herethecounseloriseasingtheclienttowardamorecompleteunderstandingofconscience.Theclientwantstoblamehermombutactuallyhasinternalizedmanyofhermother’svalues.PerhapsshefeelsbadaboutsleepingwithTom,andthecounselorishelpingheruncoverandexploreherfeelings.Aswithsilence,thisisarelativelygentleformofconfrontation.

QuestioningByaskingspecificquestions,counselorsaresometimesabletoaccessclients’valuesofrightandwrong.Thisapproachcanhelpgiveclientsafeelingofownershipovertheirdecisionsratherthansimplyconformingtomeettheexpectationsofaconfrontivecounselor.

Client:Shethinkssheownsme.Iamthirty-fivenow,andIneedhertobemyfriendmorethanmymother.It’sreallynotherbusinesswhomIdateandwhetherIchoosetosleepwithhim.It’smybusiness.IwillsleepwithTomwheneverandwhereverIfeellikeit.

Counselor:WhatareyourvaluesaboutsleepingwithTom?

Client:Well,Idon’tthinkit’sthebestthingtodo,butit’snotliketheworstcrimeIcoulddoeither.MymomseemstothinkI’llgotohellifIsleepwithsomeone.

Counselor:Itsoundsasifherreligiousviewsareimportanttoher.Anditsoundsasifyoursaredifferentfromhers.Whataboutyourreligiousvalues?HowdotheyaffectyourchoiceswithTom?

Thoughthisismoreconfrontivethaneitherofthefirsttwoexamples,itrespectstheclient’srighttoarticulateherownvaluesofrightandwrong.

DirectCensureThistechniqueshouldbeconsideredonlywhenthereisahighleveloftrustestablishedinthetherapeuticrelationship.Underidealcircumstances,itcanleadtoquickchanges.Unfortunately,ifitismisuseditcanalsocauseseveredamagetoatherapeuticrelationshipandreducetheauthenticityoffuturesessions.

Client:Shethinkssheownsme.Iamthirty-fivenow,andIneedhertobemyfriendmorethanmymother.It’sreallynotherbusinesswhomIdateand

whetherIchoosetosleepwithhim.It’smybusiness.IwillsleepwithTomwheneverandwhereverIfeellikeit.

Counselor:Yourmothermaynotexpressherselfwellinmanysituations,butit’sinterestingthattheBiblepresentsvaluesthatareverysimilartohers.

Client:Whatdoyoumean?

Counselor:God’sWordinstructsusthatsexisonlyformarriage,andyouandTomaren’tmarried.Hebrews13:4reads:“Letmarriagebeheldinhonorbyall,andletthemarriagebedbekeptundefiled;forGodwilljudgefornicatorsandadulterers.”Perhapsthatiswhatyourmomisconcernedabout,too.

Clearly,thisisthemostextremeformofconfrontation,elevatingthecounselor’svaluestoapositionabovetheclient’svalues.Therearetimeswhendirectconfrontationisappropriate,butinmyopinionitshouldbeusedverysparingly.Inmyyearsofclinicalwork,Ihaveuseddirectcensureveryrarely.

NotConfrontingSometimesconfrontingsinisnotthebesttherapeuticstrategy.Inthisexample,thecounselorchoosestomovethesessioninadifferentdirection.

Client:Shethinkssheownsme.Iamthirty-fivenow,andIneedhertobemyfriendmorethanmymother.It’sreallynotherbusinesswhomIdateandwhetherIchoosetosleepwithhim.It’smybusiness.IwillsleepwithTomwheneverandwhereverIfeellikeit.

Counselor:You’refeelingangry.I’dliketohearmoreaboutit.

Client:She’salwayscalling,alwayswantingtoknoweverythingaboutmylife.AndIfeelI’magrown-upnow.Icanmakemyownchoices.

Counselor:Itsoundsasifyouarefeelinganeedforabetterboundarybetweenyouandyourmom.

Client:Iguessso.I’mjustnotsurehowtotellherthat.

Inthisexample,thecounselormayhavedeterminedthatotherimportanttherapeuticworkmustbedonebeforeconsideringthesinfulnessoftheclient’sbehavior,suchasdiscussingwaysofassertingbettercommunicationboundariesbetweentheclientandhermother.

Theseexamplesillustratefivelegitimatealternativeswhendiscussingsinfulbehaviorincounseling.Choosingwhichapproachtouseinaspecificcounselingsituationrequiresdiscernment,wisdom,anunderstandingofthecounselingrelationship,andself-awareness.Asinpreviouschapters,thefollowingthreequestionsshouldbeusedincomingtocarefuldecisionsaboutconfrontingsin.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofSelf?TheChristianlifeisnotamatteroffine-tuningourpreviousselftoreduceourpropensitytosin.Rather,Christcallsustoexchangeouroldselfforanewself.Wearetobetransformed,radicallychanged,bornagain.TheapostlePaulputitthisway:“Thereforewehavebeenburiedwithhimbybaptismintodeath,sothat,justasChristwasraisedfromthedeadbythegloryoftheFather,sowetoomightwalkinnewnessoflife.Forifwehavebeenunitedwithhiminadeathlikehis,wewillcertainlybeunitedwithhiminaresurrectionlikehis.Weknowthatouroldselfwascrucifiedwithhimsothatthebodyofsinmightbedestroyed,andwemightnolongerbeenslavedtosin”(Rom.6:4-6).

AChristianviewofselfcallsustogiveuponelifeforanother.206InMereChristianity,C.S.LewisdescribesournormaltendencytotryaddingtheChristianlifeontopofournaturalself.Weonlyhopethatournaturalselfwillstillhavetimetobeexpressedandnurtured.Sowestruggle,tryingtofigureouthowtogivemoretimeormoneyorresistcertaintemptationsandsins,andweendupfeelingdeprived,hampered,andangry.Lewiswrites:“TheChristianwayisdifferent:harder,andeasier.Christsays,‘GivemeAll.Idon’twantsomuchofyourtimeandsomuchofyourmoneyandsomuchofyourwork:IwantYou.Ihavenotcometotormentyournaturalself,buttokillit.’”207

Christiancounselorshavediscussedconfrontingsinincounselingformanyyears,buttoooftenwelimitourdiscussiontoconfrontingpersonalsinandendupteachingourclientsthetypeofdysfunctionalreligionthatC.S.Lewisisdiscussing.Considertheclient,previouslydiscussed,whowantspermissiontosleepwithherboyfriend,Tom,anytimeandanyplace.Bydirectlyconfrontinghersinwemight,underthebestcircumstances,beabletochangeherbehavior.Shemightbecomechasteandwaituntilmarriageforsex,thoughthisseemsanidealisticoutcome.Butevenifshesucceedsinbehavioralchange,havewehelpedheraccomplishrealinnertransformation?Hasshereplacedanoldselfwithanewself,orhasshemerelyaddedabehavioralproscriptiontotheoldself?Hassheconfrontedtherealityoforiginalsin,orhasshejustmasteredsomesin-managementstrategiestocontrolpersonalsin?

HasshegivenChristallofherself,orhasshegivenjustonesmallpartofherself?AllthesequestionscanbesummarizedintooneglobalquestionforChristiancounseling:

Dowepushpeopleorattractpeopletowardspiritualtransformation?Isuspecttheonlyeffectivewayistoattractpeopletothespirituallife.ChristiancounselorswhoconfrontsinbutdonotliveoutthefruitofaSpirit-transformedlife(love,joy,peace,patience,kindness,generosity,faithfulness,gentleness,self-control)inadvertentlyteachtheirclientsafaultyapproachtospiritualformationbytryingtopushthemtowardspiritualmaturity.

Inthemidstoflife’shurriedandfranticpace,weeasilyresorttobehavioral-managementstrategies,assumingwecanchangefromtheoutsidein.Butintimesofquiet,momentsofcalm,aswesetasidelife’shurriedpaceandrenewourselvesinGod’spresence,werecognizethatGodwantstochangeus,andourclients,fromtheinsideout.Godwantssurrender,notsin-managementtactics.208

Herearetwomoreexamples.Considerwhichhasthegreatestlikelihoodofeventuallyleadingtoinnertransformationandsurrender.

Outside-InApproach

Client:Shethinkssheownsme.Iamthirty-fivenow,andIneedhertobemyfriendmorethanmymother.It’sreallynotherbusinesswhomIdateandwhetherIchoosetosleepwithhim.It’smybusiness.IwillsleepwithTomwheneverandwhereverIfeellikeit.

Counselor:Yourmothermaynotexpressherselfwellinmanysituations,butit’sinterestingthattheBiblepresentsvaluesthatareverysimilartohers.

Client:Whatdoyoumean?

Counselor:God’sWordinstructsusthatsexisonlyformarriage,andyouandTomaren’tmarried.Hebrews13:4reads:“Letmarriagebeheldinhonorbyall,andletthemarriagebedbekeptundefiled;forGodwilljudgefornicatorsandadulterers.”Perhapsthatiswhatyourmomisconcernedabout,too.

Client:Soyouthinkshe’sright.IguessIdotoo,butit’sjustsohardnottofeellikeakidagainwhensheisconstantlytellingmethatI’mdoingthewrongthing.

Counselor:IsitanyeasiertothinkaboutGodtellingyouwhatisrightand

wrong?

Client:Iguessso.Imean,thathasalwaysbeenimportanttome.ButwhenMomtellsmenottodosomething,itmakesmewanttodoitallthemore.

Counselor:HowaboutwhenGodtellsyou?

Client:It’seasier.IknowGodwantsthebestforme.AndsometimesIthinkMomjustwantsmetolookgoodsoshelooksgood.Yeah,IthinkIneedtomakesomechanges.

Counselor:Let’sspendsometimetalkingabouthowyoumightmakethosechanges....

Attimes,directcensureisanappropriateapproachtosin.Butmostofthetime,inmyopinion,itismoreappropriatesimplytomodelthefruitofatransformedlifewiththeultimategoalofhelpingpeoplefindtheirdeepinnercryforintimacywithGodandothers.

Inside-OutApproach

Client:Shethinkssheownsme.Iamthirty-fivenow,andIneedhertobemyfriendmorethanmymother.It’sreallynotherbusinesswhomIdateandwhetherIchoosetosleepwithhim.It’smybusiness.IwillsleepwithTomwheneverandwhereverIfeellikeit.

Counselor:(Silence)

Client:I’mnotabadperson.Ithinkthat’swhatshewants.Shewantsmetofeelbad,asIdidwhenIwasateenager.

Counselor:(Silence)

Client:DoyouknowwhatImean?IjustamtiredoffeelingasifI’mabadperson.

Counselor:I’mwonderingifthatisafamiliarfeelingforyou.

Client:I’vealwaysfeltbad.NothingIdoisgoodenough.Evennow,Ifeelasifyouaren’tsayinganything.AsifyouthinkI’mabadperson.

Counselor:That’sanimportantfeelingforustoexplore.

Client:Well,doyou?DoyouthinkI’mbad?

Counselor:Tellmewhatyouthink.

Client:(pause,followedbytears)Ifeelbad.Ifeelbadallthetime.

Inthisexample,thecounseloriskindanddirectwithoutcondoningsinyetfocusesthediscussiontowardtheinnerlifeoftheclient.Fromhere,theclientcanbegintoexplorehowshehasalwaysfeltunworthyandbad.Whereasthenon-Christiancounselormightthendissuadeherandconvincehersheisagoodperson,theChristiancounselorwillhelpherseetheuniversalityofherconcerns.Theclientislikeeveryhuman,plaguedwithself-servingdesires,anunhealthyneedforapproval,andthegriefandlonelinessthatcomefromlivinginproximitywithotherfallenhumans.Fortunately,agraciousGodlovesherdespiteherhumannessandiswillingtotransformhercharacterintosomethingbeautiful.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofNeed?WeoftenassumethatconfrontingsinwillhelppeoplerecognizetheirerrorsandadmitaneedforGod.Fortunately,thisissometimestrue.Inthecontextofatrustingtherapyrelationship,directconfrontationissometimeshelpful.Unfortunately,thisassumptionisonlysometimestrue.Atothertimes,confrontationpushespeopleaway,drivingthemfurtherintopatternsofdenialanddefense.Inthesecases,alessdirectconfrontationofsinisalmostalwaysabetterapproach.Howcanwetellthedifference?Whichclientscanhandledirectconfrontation,andwhichshouldwetreatmoregently?Fourfactorsshouldbeconsidered.

PersonalityDisorderThemajorityofthepeoplewhoseekhelpfromcounselorshavetheflexibilityandadaptivecapacitytoadjusttonewsituations,learnnewwaysofthinking,exploretheirfeelingsopenly,andmakesubstantivebehavioralchanges.However,aportionofcounselingclientscomewithpersonalitydisorders,atermusedintheAmericanPsychiatricAssociation’sDiagnosticandStatisticalManualsofMentalDisorderstoindicatemarkedinflexibilityandmaladaptiverelationalskills.209

Clientswithpersonalitydisordersarelikelytorespondpoorlytoconfrontation.Somemaybecomeexcessivelycompliantinordertopleasethecounselorbutnotmakesignificantinternalchanges.Othersmaybecomedefensiveandangryandmaywithdrawfromthetherapeuticrelationship.Stillothersmayworktomaketherecommendedchangesbutmaydosoinanobsessive-compulsivemannerthatworsenstheirpsychopathology.Whenever

possible,itisimportanttohaveanaccuratediagnosis,includingthepresenceorabsenceofapersonalitydisorder,beforemakingdecisionsaboutdirectlyconfrontingclients.

IrecentlysurveyedChristiancounselorstofindouthowfrequentlytheyusedcontroversialdiagnoses,suchasmultiplepersonalitydisorder(nowcalleddissociativeidentitydisorder),ritualabuse,andchildhoodsexualabuse.Todisguisethepurposeofthestudy,IalsolistedseveralotherdiagnosesthatIwaslessinterestedin,includingpersonalitydisorders.IsentthesamesurveytoacontrolgroupofpsychologistsselectedrandomlyfromonedivisionoftheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation.ThesurprisefindingofthesurveywasthatChristianpsychologistsandlaycounselorsreportseeingmorepeoplewithpersonalitydisordersthanpsychologistsselectedwithoutregardtotheirreligiousidentity!210

AsIthoughtaboutthissurprisingfinding,itmadesense.WithinourChristiancircles,wehaveanextensivecounselingnetworkforpeoplewithrelativelyminorproblems.Christiansgenerallyseeapastororachurch-basedcounselorfirst.Iftheydonotimprove,theymaybereferredtoaChristianpsychologistforhelp.Whentheyneedlong-termcarethattheirinsurancebenefitswillnotcover,theymaybesenttoseealaycounselorwhoworkswithoutcharge.Inthenon-Christianworld,peoplewilloftenseeapsychologistfirst,withoutworkingthroughthelayersofhelpavailabletoChristians.Thus,Christianpsychologistsandlaycounselorsmayseethemostdifficultandchroniccounselingcases,includingclientswithpersonalitydisorders.

Whateverthereasonforthesefindings,itisimportanttorecognizethatsomeChristiancounselorsworkwithmanyclientswhohavepersonalitydisorders.Directlyconfrontingsinisusuallynotwisewiththeseclients,especiallyintheearlystagesoftreatment.

StartSmallItiswisetostartwithsmaller,lessintimidatingtypesofconfrontationbeforetryingtoconfrontacherishedbelieforbehavior.Thisgivesacounselortheopportunitytoseehowaclienthandlesconfrontation.Considerthefollowingexample.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Counselor:Aswebegintoday,Iwouldliketodiscussthestartingtimesofoursessionswithyou.I’venoticedthatyouhavebeentenminuteslatetoeachofthelasttwosessions.It’syourtime,butI’vebeenconcernedthattheshortersessionsmightinterferewithwhatwe’retryingtodoincounseling.

Aclient’sresponsetothisconfrontationcanbeusedtopredicthowheorshewillrespondtomoresignificantconfrontationlater.Herearethreepossibleresponses:

ResponseA:“Yes,I’vebeencaughtintrafficbothweeks.I’msorry,andIrealizeitistomybenefittobehereontime.”

ResponseB:“Oh,Iknow,Iamsosorry.Ireallydon’thaveanyexcuse.Ifeelsobad.Areyoumad?”

ResponseC:“Hey,IfigureI’mpayingthebill.It’smytime,andIcanuseithoweverIwant.Right?”

Iftheclientrespondstoaminorconfrontationbyaffirmingappropriateresponsibilityfortheproblem,asinresponseA,thisclientprobablyhastheemotionalresourcestohandleotherconfrontationwellalso.Iftheclientrespondsbyacquiescingorwallowinginshame,asinresponseB,itisimportanttohelpthepersongainmoreself-confidenceandaclearersenseofidentitybeforedirectlyconfrontingsin.Thosewhorespondinangerorbybecominghighlydefensive,asinresponseC,willprobablyrespondinasimilarwaytootherformsofconfrontation.Itwillbeimportanttoletthetherapeuticrelationshiphaveasofteningeffectontheseclientsbeforeactivelyconfrontingsin.

TherapeuticAllianceIremembermakingadrivingerroronceandhavinganangrycowboyinaFordpickupleanouthiswindow,shakehisfistatme,andyell,“Hey,buddy.Learntodrive!”ForsomereasonIdidn’ttakehimveryseriously.Ididn’tgohomeandpulloutmydriver’smanual.Ididn’tenrollinadriver’seducationcourse.Ididn’tevenrereadtheowner’smanualtomycar.

MyresponsewouldbedifferentifLisa,whohasknownmefortwenty-fouryearsandhasbeenmyspouseforseventeenyears,satmedownonaquieteveningandsaid,“Mark,I’vebeenconcernedaboutyourdriving.Youseemtoputyourselfandthefamilyatrisk,andIwouldreallylikeyoutoconsidertakingarefreshercourseindriving.”Iwouldn’tbemuchhappierwithLisathanIwaswiththecowboyintheFord,butIwouldbemorelikelytocomply.IfLisa,whomIknowandtrust,believesIneedtoimprovemydriving,thenIneedtotakeherseriously.Thesameistrueinthecounselingrelationship.Itiseasytodiscountthewordsofstrangers.Butasacounselingrelationshipdeepensandastrustisestablished,wordsofconfrontationaretakenmoreseriously.Thissuggeststhatweshouldnothurrytoconfrontsin.Confrontationwillbeonlyassuccessfulasthetrustwehavebuiltthroughhoursofintentlisteningandunderstanding.Counselorsmustearntherighttoconfront,notjustassumetheright.

PersonalIntegrityPartofearningtherighttoconfrontinvolvesthetherapeuticrelationship;anotherpartinvolvesthecounselor’spersonallife.ItisimportanttorememberawarningJesusgave:“Donotjudge,sothatyoumaynotbejudged.Forwiththejudgmentyoumakeyouwillbejudged,andthemeasureyougivewillbethemeasureyouget.Whydoyouseethespeckinyourneighbor’seye,butdonotnoticetheloginyourowneye?Orhowcanyousaytoyourneighbor,‘Letmetakethespeckoutofyoureye,’whilethelogisinyourowneye?Youhypocrite,firsttakethelogoutofyourowneye,andthenyouwillseeclearlytotakethespeckoutofyourneighbor’seye”(Matt.7:1-5).

Thus,ourfirstconcernshouldalwaysbetoconsiderthegripofsininourownlivesascounselorsandtoseektomoveclosertoGodinresponsetooursin.Beforeconfrontingothers,weoughttoconfrontourselves.Beforehelpingothersconfronttheirstateofbrokennessandneed,wemustconfrontourown.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealingRelationship?Confrontingsincansometimeshelpestablishadeeper,morecompletehealingrelationship.Abiblicalproverbremindsus:“Wellmeantarethewoundsafriendinflicts,butprofusearethekissesofanenemy”(Prov.27:6).Counselorswhorefusetoconfrontmaylimittheeffectivenessofthecounselingrelationship.

Ofcourse,everyroadhastwoditches,andcounselorscaneasilybecometooconfrontiveortoodirectintheirconfrontation,asillustratedinsomeoftheexamplesgivenearlierinthischapter.Whencounselorsconfronttoooften,toodirectly,orwithoutestablishingadequatetrust,clientswillusuallydistancethemselvesfromthecounselingprocessandprogresswillbeinhibited.

Ibelieveempathicconfrontationisthebesttoolinstrikingthisbalance.Toooftenweseparateempathyandconfrontation,assumingtheyaremutuallyexclusive.Butmanyformsofconfrontationallowempathyandconfrontationtocoexist.

EmpathicConfrontation

Client:Ijustgetsotiredofmyhusband’sbehavior.HethinkshecandowhateverhewantsandIwillbethegoodwife,stayingathome,takingcareofthekids,andabidingbyhiseverydesire.SoIjustrefused.Ileftthekidsafewhoursandwentshoppingformyself.Theymaybealittleyoungtobeleftontheirown,buthedidn’thavetogetsoangryaboutit.Hehasnorighttotreatmelikeproperty.

Counselor:Itallfeelsprettyoverwhelmingrightnow.

Client:Yeah.Whatgiveshimtheright?

Counselor:Uh-huh.Andinsideitcreatesthisdesiretorebel.

Client:Yeah.Idon’tlikeit,butIfeelitsostrongly.

Inthisexample,thecounselorisabletobeconfrontivejustbyreflectingthecontentoftheclient’sspeech.Sheisconfrontingherself,butthecounselorisdirectingtheflowoftheconversationsoshecanrecognizeherthoughtsandfeelings.Empathicconfrontationcanalsobeusedinthecontextofthreetechniquesdescribedearlier—silence,pondering,andquestioning.Withsilence,theempathymustcomethroughfacialexpressions.Withpondering,thecounseloradoptsanattitudeoftryingtounderstandwhattheclientissaying,thoughactuallythecounselorismoreconcernedabouttheclient’sunderstandingwhatheorsheisthinkingandfeeling.Withquestioning,thecounselorissupportivelyhelpingtheclientfindresourcesfordeterminingwhatisrightandwrong.Inalltheseforms,empathicconfrontationrequiresacollaborativestance.Thecounselorisnotexercisingpowerovertheclientbutstandingalongsideasajointpilgriminthespirituallife.

TheperfectexampleofempathicconfrontationisfoundinJesus,whenheinstructedhisfollowers:“Cometome,allyouthatarewearyandarecarryingheavyburdens,andIwillgiveyourest.Takemyyokeuponyou,andlearnfromme;forIamgentleandhumbleinheart,andyouwillfindrestforyoursouls.Formyyokeiseasy,andmyburdenislight”(Matt.11:28-30).Jesusdidnotdenytheburdenoforiginalsin;hehadwatchedtheeffectsofsinthroughouthumanhistoryandhadevenexperiencedthesametemptationsweexperience(Heb.4:15).Jesusempathicallyacknowledgedthattheburdenofsinisheavyandcreatesweariness.ThisburdenofsiniswhatA.W.Tozercalls“acrushingthing.”211Whenourclientswanttodenyorexcusesin,wecanempathizewiththemaswerecallthatweareallcaughtunderneaththiscrushingloadoforiginalsinthataffectspersonalbehavior.

AndJesusisgentleandhumbleinheart.Jesuswasnotworriedaboutpositioninghimselfforgreatness.Hecametohumblehimself,topourouthislife,tobe“obedienttothepointofdeath”(Phil.2:8).Counselorsarecalledtothesamegentlenessandhumility.Evenwhenwemustconfront,wearetodoitgentlywithaspiritofempathyandcompassion.“Myfriends,ifanyoneisdetectedinatransgression,youwhohavereceivedtheSpiritshouldrestoresuchaoneinaspiritofgentleness.Takecarethatyouyourselvesarenottempted.Bearoneanother’sburdens,andinthiswayyouwillfulfillthelawofChrist.Forifthosewhoarenothingthinktheyaresomething,theydeceivethemselves”(Gal.6:1-3).

FacingtheChallengesThebeginningofthischaptersuggestedacontinuumwithAlbertEllisandJayAdamsanchoringthescaleateachend.Ellisbelievesthatcounselorsneedtohelpclientsdismisstheirideasaboutsinandliveasresponsiblehedonists.Adamsbelievesthatsinitselfcausesmany(ormost)emotionalproblemsandthatcounselorswillnotbecompletelyeffectiveuntiltheyhelptheirclientschangepatternsofsinfulliving.BothEllisandAdamshavemadeimportantcontributions:Ellishaspointedouttheself-destructivecycleofexcessiveguiltandshame;andAdamshasstoodagainstthesocialtide,boldlyremindingusthatsinmatters.ThepositionIamadvocatingisbetweenthesetwoextremes.

Inthismiddleposition,Christiancounselorstakesinseriouslywhileemphasizingtheoriginalnatureofsin.SinisthepoisonthatburstintoaperfectcreationthroughAdamandEve’stransgression.Itaffectseveryhumaneveryday.Tominimizeordenythepowerofsinistocloseoureyestothespiritualworldthatsurroundsus.Becausesinisoriginalaswellaspersonal,itdoesnogoodforourclientstowallowinguiltorshame.Infact,shameseemsonlytostrengthensin’sgriponourlives.

Whenacounselorconfrontspersonalsinwithdirectcensure,itoftenheightensthepowerdifferentialalreadypresentinthecounselor-clientrelationship;itsometimesaddstoaclient’ssenseofshame;anditminimizesthegenerationalandsocialeffectsofsin.Instead,weoughttoemphasizetheoriginalnatureandeffectsofsinaswepositionourselvesalongsideclientswhostrugglewiththesamesinsandtemptationsthatweourselvesface.Evenifwecannotempathizewiththeexacttemptationsourclientsface,weshouldbeabletorecognizethesparkleandlureofsinaswellastheemptinessanddeaththatitproduces.Empathicconfrontationisanattemptnottominimizethesignificanceofpersonalsinbuttoprovideasafe,collaborativeatmospherethatfostersgenuine,honestself-explorationanddiscovery.Whenusedproperly,empathicconfrontationthroughsilence,pondering,orquestioninghelpsaclienthonestlyexplorethoughtsandfeelings,andthechangethatresultstendstobelastingchangestemmingfrominsightandgrowth.

Thisapproachtoconfrontingsindoesnotrequireself-disclosureduringcounselingsessions,butitdoesrequirepersonalhonesty.Excessiveself-disclosureconfusestherapeuticboundariesandisunfairtoclients;ourclientsdonotneedtoknowourpersonalstrugglesandtemptations.However,ascounselorsweneedtorecognizeandhonestlyconfrontourhumanity,includingourtemptationsandstruggles.Thisrequiresacounselortobegenuine,devotedtospiritualgrowthandwisdom.Soagainweconsiderthesixchallengesdescribedinchapter1.

Challenge1:MovingfromTwoAreasofCompetencetoThreePsychologistswhowriteaboutsinoftenhaveonlyoneareaofcompetence—psychology.TheyapproachsinfromadistinctlytheoreticalperspectiveandendupoversimplifyingandmisunderstandingtheChristiannotionofsin.Forexample,Weiner’sdichotomybetweensinandsicknesshasbroadappealwithinthepsychologicalcommunity,butitisasimplisticdichotomybasedonapartialunderstandingoftheChristiannotionofsin.212Personalsinandsickness,fromaChristianperspective,havethesamepointoforiginintheFallandcannotbeseparatedastwoextremesinadichotomy.Dr.Weinerisabrilliantresearcher,andhisworkonattributiontheoryhasmadeastrongcontributiontopsychology.Unfortunately,bychoosingthewordsintodescribeanattributionalstyle,heperpetuatesawide-scalemisunderstandingofsinwithinthepsychologicalcommunity.

Similarly,Mowrer’sintegritytherapyisaworthynotionthatoversimplifiessin.Heisprobablycorrectinnotingthatpsychologyhasdriftedawayfromanunderstandingofpersonalresponsibilityandaccountability,andhispleaformoreemphasisonpersonalsinisadmirable.Buthetendstooverlookthesignificanceoforiginalsinbyfocusingintentlyonpersonalsin.

Tounderstandsinproperly,psychologistsandChristiancounselorsneedthecontributionsoftheologiansanddevotionalwriters.Christianspiritualwritersthroughoutthepasttwomillenniahaveemphasizedtheuniversalityofhumansin.Ifwetakethesewritersseriously,wemustconfrontsomeproblemsinamodern-daypsychologythatconsidersself-esteemagoalwecanattainonourownwithvariousself-helpstrategies.Untilwehonestlyconfronttheproblemofsin,wecannotknowthemiracleofgraceandtrueself-acceptance.BlaisePascal,aseventeenth-centuryphilosopher,remindsusthat“itisinvainthatyouseekwithinyourselvesforthecureforyourmiseries.Allyourintelligencecanonlybringyoutorealizethatitisnotwithinyourselvesthatyouwillfindeithertruthorgood.”213Usingwordsthatwerestrongeveninthesixthcentury,Benedict’s(ofNursia)seventhstepofhumilityisthis:“Theseventhstepofhumilityiswhenwedeclarewithourtongueandbelieveinourinmostsoulthatwearethelowliestandvilestofall,humblingourselvesandsayingwiththePsalmist,‘ButIamaworm,andIamthereproachofall,theoutcastofthepeople.’TheScripturesteachusthatitisgoodtobehumbledsothatwemaylearnGod’scommandments.”214

Formanymentalhealthprofessionals,Benedict’sprescriptionforhumilitymayseemalmostintolerable,butitisimportanttonoticethatPascalandBenedictdirecttheirwordstoallhumans.Weareallvile,broken,sickwiththeinfectionofsin.No,it’snotjustpersonalsin;itisalsothesinofourparents,ourchildren,ourcoworkers,ouremployers,andourfriends.Whenwebreakthroughtheglossylook-goodexterior,weseeacommonhumancoreoflonelinessandgriefthatweallknowtoowell.Wearesinnersinaworldbrokenapartbysin,livinginrelationshipswithothersinners.Noneofthescience-fictionmoviesportraying

lifeafternucleardisastercomesclosetocapturingthecontrastofaperfectcreationfallingtobecomeaworlddevastatedbysin.Oncewerecognizetheuniversalityofsin,westoptryingtoconvinceourselvesthatwearegoodpeople;westoptryingtocomputewhoisbetterthanwhom;andwefallhelplesslyatthefeetofalovingSaviorwhograciouslygiveshope,meaning,purpose,andpeace.

Challenge2:BlurredPersonal-ProfessionalDistinctionsIfChristiancounselorsaretotakesinseriouslyintheirprofessionalwork,wemustalsobedevotedtounderstandingtheimpactofsininourpersonallives.ThehauntingwordsofJesusremindustotakethelogoutofourowneyebeforeconsideringthespeckinourneighbor’seye.Howdareweconfrontsininothers’liveswithoutlookinghonestlyatourown?

Thoughnotallcounselorsagreeabouttheroleofpersonaltherapyforcounselorsintraining,Ibelieveitisalmostalwaysawisechoice.Havingbeentrainedinaresearch-baseduniversitysetting,Ididnotconsiderpersonaltherapyduringmytrainingyears.Sometimelater,asIbecameawareoftheacheoflife,Iengagedinaone-yearjourneyinpersonaltherapy.Mytherapist,psychodynamicinorientation,helpedmeunderstandmanythings.Shewasnotdirectlyconfrontive,butshesupportedmeasIexploredmyvaluesandpriorities,myfeelingsaboutpasteventsandpresentrelationships.SometimesshepushedabitharderthanIwouldhaveliked:IrememberhopingforanempathicRogerianresponseonce,andinsteadhearing,“Thatsoundslikeanarcissisticfantasytome.”WhatdidIlearnthroughpersonaltherapy?Ilearnedaboutsin,notbecausemytherapistevertalkedaboutsin—Idon’trecallhereverusingtheword—butbecauseIwasgivenasafeChristianenvironmentinwhichtoexplore.First,Iexploredthesinsofothers:myparents,spouse,friends.AsIsubmergedmyselfintothedepthsofself-pity,IfoundthelonelinessthatIhadtriedtomaskwithfranticactivityandprofessionalsuccess.Discussingothers’sinwasrelativelyeasy,butmytherapistseemedtothinktherewasmoretoexplore.Eventually,Iwasabletounderstandandacknowledgepersonalsin:myself-protectivemechanisms,myself-centeredness,myarrogance.

Personaltherapywasoneoftwoexperiencesthatradicallytransformedmyclinicalwork.ThesecondexperiencewasauditingacourseinspiritualityduringmyfirstyearasafacultymemberatWheatonCollege.ForyearsIhadbeenimmersedinapsychologicalworldviewthatemphasizedthegoodnessofhumankind.Ifounditliberatingtoromparoundinadifferentworldview,onethatacknowledgeshumanfallennessandneedandthenlookstoGodforhelp.

Asthesetwoexperienceshelpedmeseemyselfasasinnerinafallenworld,Ibecamemoreempathetic,morecollaborative,andlessdirectiveinmyprofessionalwork.Ibecamelessinterestedinfixingsymptomsthaninexploringthedeepachesthatresideunderlayersofdefenseandself-protectioninmyclients.ThoughIstillcallmyselfacognitivetherapist,my

colleaguestellmeIambecomingmorepsychodynamic.Perhaps.Thepointofthesestoriesistoillustratethefactthatpersonalexperiencesin

understandingsinaffecttheprofessionalworkofcounselors.Webringourwholepersonintothecounselingoffice.

Challenge3:ExpandedDefinitionsofTrainingHowthenshallwetrainourselvestounderstandtheroleofsininhumanproblems?Perhapsthegreatestresourceisnotfoundinthefieldsofcounselingandpsychologybutwithinthespiritualdisciplines.

Toooftenwethinkofthedisciplinesasendsinthemselves.Actually,theyareonlymeanstoaspiritualend,amechanismbywhichwereceiveGod’sgrace.Fasting,forexample,shouldnotproducetheprideofaccomplishmentbutthehumilityofgreaterinsight.Fastingbringsusface-to-facewithourneediness.RichardFosterwrites,“MorethananyotherDiscipline,fastingrevealsthethingsthatcontrolus.”215Fastingprovidesanopportunityforustounderstandthenatureandconsequencesofsin,andit“confirmsourutterdependenceuponGod.”216Itcanalsobeausefulmechanismofinsightformanyclients,butcounselorsshouldhavefirsthandexperiencewithfastingbeforesuggestingittoclients.

MeditatingonScripturecanalsohelpusunderstandthenatureofsin.InLuke18:13wereadofapenitenttaxcollectorwhobeatonhischestandcriedout,“God,bemercifultome,asinner!”Counselorsinterestedinpersonalspiritualtrainingwillfindithelpfultomeditateonthisverseforaweekormore.217

Hereisonemoresuggestion.Foreverypagewereadincontemporarycounselingbooks,includingself-helpbooks,perhapsweoughttoreadatleastonepageinthespiritualclassicsandonechapterofScripture.Thereisaworldviewimplicitlyassumedinmodernculture,andwearewisetobalanceourexposuretoitwiththespiritualworldviewsprevalentincenturiespast.Ourdietaffectsourhealth.

Challenge4:ConfrontingDominantViewsofMentalHealthThecontributionsofpsychologytocontemporaryculturehave,inmyopinion,beenoverwhelminglypositive.Theresearchadvancesandinnovativeclinicaltheoriesandmethodsofpsychologyhaverevolutionizedourunderstandingofbehaviorandmentalprocesses.Givenachancetodecideagain,Iwouldhappilychoosepsychologyasmyprofession.

However,mybiggestcriticismofpsychologyhasundoubtedlybeenevidentthroughoutthischapter.Specifically,Ibelievetheworldviewassumptionspromotedbymanywell-meaningpsychologistshavedoneenormousdamagetocontemporaryculture.LiningshelvesineverybookstorethroughoutAmericawefindbooksonself-esteem,self-affirmation,

autonomy,andindependence.Atsomepoint,wemuststopandaskourselves,Whydowecaresomuch?Whyarewesopreoccupiedwithhumanworth?

ArecentNewsweekarticledescribedtheproblemsuccinctly:“NinetypercentofAmericanssaytheybelieveinGod.YettheurgentsenseofpersonalsinhasallbutdisappearedinthecurrentupbeatstyleofAmericanreligion....Inearliereras,ministersregularlyexhortedcongregationstohumbly‘confessoursins.’Buttheagingbabyboomerswhoarerushingbacktochurchdonotwanttohearsermonsthatmightrattletheirself-esteem.”218

Perhapsourobsessionwithself-esteemisnothingmorethanamassiveworldwidedefensemechanismusedtoprotectusfromwhatweallinstinctivelyknow—thatwearesinnerslivinginaworldofsin.Wehavebecomesofamiliarwiththedefensemechanismthatthealternativeofadmittingsinseemsdismalanddepressing.Butcoulditbethatwehaveitallbackward?Coulditbethattruefreedomcomesonlyafterwehaveacknowledgedourproblem?

Christiancounselorshaveanopportunitytoconfrontdominantviewsofsinandprovideanalternativeview.InScripture,admittingsinisnotmerelyadismal,depressingthing.Rather,itisasteptowardunderstandinggraceandfindingopportunityfortruecelebration.

Challenge5:EstablishingaScientificBaseWithregardtothischallenge,thereisbothgoodnewsandbadnews.Thegoodnewsisthatthereappearstobelittleornorelationshipbetweenreligionandmentalhealth.Thisisalsothebadnews.

Itisgoodnewsbecauseprominentpsychologistshavearguedthatreligionmakespeoplesick.219Majorliteraturereviewsandmeta-analysesprovidenoevidenceforthisconclusion.220Religiouspeople,includingChristians,appeartobejustashealthyasothersdespitetheirbeliefinsin.Infact,someresearchersconcludethereisasmallpositivecorrelationbetweenreligiousbeliefsandmentalhealth.221

ItisbadnewsbecausewemightexpectChristianbeliefs,includingbeliefsinsin,repentance,andgrace,toproducebetteradjustmentandmentalhealththanthebeliefsofnon-Christians.Onepossibleexplanationisthatreligiouspeoplehavebeengroupedtogetherinmoststudies,andnotallreligiousexperienceisthesame.Forexample,thosewithdeeplycommitted,internalizedreligiousviewsappeartobehealthierthanthosewhoseereligionasameanstoanend.222Bycombiningthesetwogroupsinresearchstudies,thebeneficialeffectsofdevoutfaithmaybemasked.Thus,weneedmorescientificstudieswithmorecarefuldistinctionsbetweenvariousreligiousviewsandperspectives.

Asdescribedinchapter1,severaloutcomestudiesusingreligiousformsoftherapyhavebeenreported,butnoneofthereligiousformsoftherapyhavechallengedtheunderlyingworldviewimplicitintraditionalcognitivetherapy.223Ifourviewsofsinmakeadifference

inthewaywecounsel,thenwemustdomorethanaddScriptureversesorChristianimagestoastandardformoftherapybeforecallingitChristiancounseling.

Thoughanambitiousgoal,weultimatelyneedChristiancounselingthatisbasedonaChristianviewofsinandredemption.224Thismodelneedstobeempiricallyvalidatedbyputtingithead-to-headwithtraditionalcounselingmodelsandtestingitseffectiveness.

Itisdauntingtoseethethousandsofbooksandjournalarticlespublishedeachyearinpsychologyandcounseling.Surelyeverytopicmusthavebeenthoroughlycoveredinthosemanypagesofscholarship!Actuallynot.Surprisinglylittlehasbeenwrittenaboutcounselingandsin,andvirtuallynothingofascientificnaturehasbeenreported.

Challenge6:DefiningRelevantEthicalStandardsManyofthesameethicalchallengesdiscussedinpreviouschaptersapplytoourunderstandingandconfrontationofsin.Inaddition,thereisaglobalethicalguidelinethatdeservesspecialconsiderationhere:donoharm.Thisisanancientobligationforhealth-careproviders,datingbacktotheHippocraticoath.Whateverwedo,itshouldbeforthegoodoftheclient.Intheirzealtoconfrontsin,someChristiancounselorsforgetthatthegoodoftheirclientistheirfirstpriority.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Mr.StuK.FingersisreferredforcounselingwithDr.S.TreyTenarrow.ThereferralcomesfromMr.Fingers’semployer,whosayssheisconcernedthatStumaybedrinkingalcoholexcessively.Duringtheinitialinterview,Mr.Fingersdeniesusingalcoholbutadmitstovagueconcernsinvolvinganxietyandfearaboutthefuture.Dr.TenarrowagreestomeetwithMr.Fingersfortensessionswiththeunderstandingthatthesessionswillbeconfidential.

Duringthefifthsession,Mr.Fingersadmitsthatheisstealingmoneyfromthecompany,andhefearsthathisemployersuspectshim.Thoughhisemployercannotprovethathehasstolenmoney,sheseemstobetryingtofindotherreasonstodismisshim,includingthefalsechargesofalcoholism.Mr.Fingersappearsangrytowardhisemployerandfearfulforthefuture,butheshowsnoevidenceofremorseforstealing.

Dr.Tenarrow,feelingindignantandconcernedaboutStu’slackofremorse,confrontsMr.Fingersimmediately:“Ibelieveyouhavereasontobeafraidbecausewhatyouaredoingiswrong.Youneedtotakeresponsibilityforyouractionshere.Youneedtobehonestwithyouremployer.Youremployerneedstoknowaboutthis.”Mr.Fingersbecomesdefensiveandleavesthesession.Hemissestheremainingsessionsandbecomesincreasinglyanxious,wonderingifDr.Tenarrowplanstoreporthimtohisemployer.

Thisisadifficultsituationforanumberofreasons,includingethicalconcernsaboutconfidentiality,privacy,competence,andacounselor’sdutytoprotectothers.Dr.Tenarrowwentwrongwhenheforgothisfirstobligationtohisclient.WhenhelearnedaboutMr.Fingers’sstealing,hebecameoverwhelmedwithhisownemotionsandrespondedoutofhisangerratherthanconsideringthewelfareofMr.Fingers.Amorereasonedresponsestillmighthaveinvolvedconfrontationbutinalessthreateningway.Bythreateninganalreadyanxiousman,Dr.Tenarrowintroducedpotentialforharm.ReportingMr.Fingerstohisemployerwouldhaveviolatedethicalstandardsandstatelaw(invirtuallyallstates)regardingconfidentiality.Toevenhintatsuchareportisirresponsibleanddamaging.

Confrontingsin,especiallywhendoneasdirectcensure,introducespowerintothecounselingrelationship.Attimesthismaybeappropriate,butasthepowerdifferentialincreases,somustoursensitivitytotheethicalimplicationsofourwordsandactions.

Arelatedethicalconcernisthatanawarenessofsincanleadclientsinoneoftwodirections.Forsome,theirnaturalresponsetounderstandingsinwillbeshame.Forothers,anawarenessofsinleadsthemtoanawarenessofGod’sgrace,asPauldescribesinhisepistletotheRomans.IfChristiancounselorshelptheirclientsconfrontsin,theyhaveanethicalobligationtoalsopointthemtowardgraceasaresolutiontosin.225Thosewhoarelefttowallowinshamewillbeworsebecauseoftheirawarenessofsin.Thosewhoexperiencegracewillbeenrichedbytheirawarenessofsin.Thiswillbediscussedingreaterdetaillater.

SummaryPsychologistshavegenerallybeenuninterestedinsin,preferringtoignoreitortodiscusstheeffectsoftheconceptofsin.Becauseinternalattributionsheightenfeelingsofguiltanddepressioninmanysituations,mentalhealthprofessionalshavetendedtoavoidsinasanexplanationforemotionalproblems,apracticebasedonamisunderstandingoftheChristiannotionofsin.TopracticecompetentChristiancounseling,wemustunderstandsinfromtheologicalandspiritualperspectives.Properlyunderstood,theoriginalnatureofsinallowsChristianstogiveupunproductiveandshame-producingeffortstomanagepersonalsinbywillpoweralone.Instead,weneedtransformingencounterswithChrist.

InChristiancounseling,sincanbeconfrontedinhumbleandempathicwaysthatencouragespiritualgrowthmorethanguiltandshame.Thesemethodsincludesilenceatstrategicmoments,ponderingaloudinconsistenciesinclients’narratives,andquestioningclientsinordertounderstandtheirvaluesofrightandwrong.Understandingandchangingtheinnerlifeofaclientismoreimportantthanmerelychangingbehavior.ThiscallsChristiancounselorstopersonalandspiritualdisciplinesthatpromotepersonalhonesty,humility,anddiscernment.

UponReflection

Althoughtheprayerchapter(chapter3)hasbeenthemostcontroversialovertheyears,thischapteronsinhasbeenthemostfavorablyreceived.Studentsandcolleagueshavedescribedhowusefulthechapteris,especiallyinthinkingaboutthefar-reachingimplicationsofourhumansinnature.Isometimesjokethatweallhavetobegoodatsomething;IguessImustbegoodatsin.

I’vecontinuedtothinkagooddealaboutthematterofsinsincewritingthisbookinthemid-1990s.The2002ChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies(CAPS)conventionhadthetheme“Grace,Freedom,andResponsibility.”Havingbeenaskedtogivethekeynoteaddressontheopeningnightoftheconference,Isetouttopreparearousingtalkonthetopicofgrace.ButthemoreIresearchedthetopic,themoreIfeltcompelledtotalkaboutsininstead.Wecan’treallyunderstandgracewithoutunderstandingsin,andviceversa.Ititledthetalk“PreludetoGrace,”whichservedastheimpetusforatradebooktitledWhySinMatters:TheSurprisingRelationshipbetweenOurSinandGod’sGrace(Tyndale,2004).MorerecentlyIwroteabookonthesametopicforChristiancounselors,titledSinandGraceinChristianCounseling.226

SincePsychology,Theology,andSpiritualityinChristianCounselingwasfirstpublished,Ihavelearnedanumberofthingsaboutsinandgrace,threeofwhichIwillshareinthisupdate.First,theChristiandoctrineofsincanhaveprofoundimplicationsforhowweunderstandempathy.Second,Iwillshareabitofmyjourneyawayfromastrictlyforensicviewofsinandgracetowardamorerelationalview.Finally,IwillofferafewreflectionsaboutwhatIhavelearnedbeingmarriedtoaChristiansociologist.

SinandEmpathyAlmosteverygraduateprogramincounselingorpsychotherapybeginswithaclassininterviewingskills.Studentslearntheimportanceofempathybeforetheylearnthevarioustheoriesandtechniquesofcounselinginterventions.Havingdonethisworkforalmostthirtyyearsatthispoint,Iamincreasinglyconvincedofthecrucialroleofthisearlytraininginempathy,becauseempathyisoneofthemostimportantthingsweofferourclients.

Ifyouwanttobeaneffectivecounselor,youneedtolearntoestablishgoodrelationshipswithyourclients,andifyouwanttoestablishgoodrelationships,youneedtobecomeanexpertatempathy.Isuspectthatifwecouldsneakacameraintotheofficesofthebestcounselors,wewouldseeempathyinaction,regardlessofwhetherthecounselors’approachispsychodynamic,cognitive-behavioral,humanistic,orbiblical.Whenitcomestotheoutcomeofcounseling,thetherapeuticrelationshipappearstohaveabouttwiceasmuch

explanatorypowerasthetechniquesthecounselorchoosestouse,andoneofthemostessentialdimensionsofagoodtherapeuticrelationshipisempathy.227Thisisdepressingnewstodoctoralstudents,whospendfiveyearsandmanythousandsofdollarsmasteringtherapeutictechniquesonlytofindthateffectiverelationalskillsarefarmoreimportantthanthosetechniques.(Still,Iamaproponentofdoctoraltrainingforallsortsofreasons!)

TheChristiandoctrineofsin—properlyunderstood—promotestherapeuticempathy.Atthispointyoumayhavejustdroppedyourbookore-bookinsurprise.Whatdoesempathyhavetodowiththedoctrineofsin?Shouldn’twesuspendourunderstandingofsinsothatwecanacceptaclientunconditionally?Doesn’talanguageofsinputthecounselorinaroleofjudgmentovertheclient’schoices?

No,notifweunderstandsincorrectly.OurproblemasChristiancounselorsisnottalkingtoomuchaboutsin,norisittalkingtoolittleaboutit.Ourproblemisourfundamentalmisunderstandingofthenatureofsin.

Wetendtothinkofsinasaseriesofspecificdeedsorthoughtsinsteadofthestateofourhumancondition.Botharetrue—sinisbothactandstate—butweemphasizeactmorethanstateincontemporaryChristianlife.Ifwereducesintoasetofbehaviors,thenourtendencyistositjudgmentallywithclients,especiallythosewhohavemadeaseriesofbadchoicesintheirlives.Butifwerecognizesinasastateofbrokenness—asharedconditionthatinfluencesallhumanity—thenwesitwithourclientsasequals.Counselorandclientareonthesamejourney,bothpilgrimslongingforcreationtobemadewhole(seeRomans8).Empathynaturallyflowsfromthisviewofsin.Putyourselfinthecounselor’schairforthefollowingconversation:

Client:Idon’tknowifIcaneverforgiveher.It’sbeentwoyearssincethedivorce,butIstillwakeupatnightinthispanickedstate,thinkingI’vehadanightmare,onlytorealizethatitreallyhappened.Shereallyleft.

Counselor1thinks:Hisunforgivenessissinful.Nowonderhecontinuestostrugglewithdespairandanxiety.

Counselor1says:Itseemsthatyoustillhavesomeunfinishedbusiness.

Now,keepthisscenarioinmindasyouconsiderasecondcounselorinthesamesituation.

Client:Idon’tknowifIcaneverforgiveher.It’sbeentwoyearssincethedivorce,butIstillwakeupatnightinthispanickedstate,thinkingI’vehadanightmare,onlytorealizethatitreallyhappened.Shereallyleft.

Counselor2thinks:Oh,thestruggleswefaceinthisfallenworld!Wealllimpalong,tryingtodothebestwecan.Howsadthatheisstillwakingatnightwiththesefeelingsofpanic.

Counselor2says:Itseemsthatyoustillhavesomeunfinishedbusiness.

Inbothcasestheclientandcounselorssayexactlythesamewords,butbecausetheinnerthoughtsofthecounselorsareverydifferentIsuspectthattheclientwouldexperiencecounselor2asmoreempathicandunderstanding.Thiswouldcomeacrossinfacialexpressions,toneofvoice,posture,andageneralattitudeofacceptanceandunderstanding.Counselor2understandsthatsinisbothactandstate.Perhapsthefactthatthisclienthasnotyetenteredintothelong,arduousprocessofforgivenessissinful,butitalsoreflectsthedeepwoundednessofbeinghumanandvulnerableandrelational.Allofusarebroken.Alllongforhealing.Aswegrasptheessenceofthis,webecomewoundedhealerscapableofdeepempathicconnectionswithourclients.

TheRelationalNatureofSinandHealingWritingSinandGraceinChristianCounselingaffordedmethechancetoworkwithaneditor,GaryDeddo,whoholdsaPh.D.insystematictheologyfromtheUniversityofAberdeen.InGary’sdoctoraldissertation,heexploredtheworkofthegreattwentieth-centurySwisstheologianKarlBarth.InthetraditionofBarth,Garyhelpedmethinkmorerelationallyaboutmynotionofsin.Andashedid,myunderstandingoftheologybecamericherandmoredeeplymeaningful.Christiantheologymovedoutofthecourtroomandintomylivingroom.I’llexplain.

UntilmyinteractionswithGaryin2006and2007,myunderstandingofsinwasquiteforensic;thatis,itplacedallofusinadivinecourtoflaw,foundguiltyofviolatingGod’scommandmentsandawaitingsentencing.ThenJesusshowedupandsufferedthedeathpenaltyinourplace.Thisviewisnotentirelywrong;muchofScripturespeaksabouttheforensicimplicationsofsin.ButBarth’stheologyremindsusthataChristiandoctrineofsinandgracegoeswellbeyondthecourtroomandhasmuchmoretodowithourrelationalnatureandthelivingofeverydaylife.Wecanthinkofthisintermsofathree-actplay:

Act1:ARelationalGodCreatesRelationalHumanCreaturesFromthefirstchapteroftheBible,inGenesis1:26-27,weseethetriuneGodcreatehumanstobeartherelationalimageofthepersonsoftheTrinity,whatBarthcalledanI-ThoudimensiontotheimagoDei.

Act2:SinImpedesRelationshipTwochapterslater,inGenesis3,weseethetragicrelationalconsequencesofsin.Nowmenandwomenfeelshameandhidethemselves.OurconnectionwithGodisstrainedtoo.Allcreationyearnstoberestoredandrenewed.

Act3:GodGoestoExtremeMeasurestoRedeemWhatIsBrokenThroughoutScriptureweseeGodpersistentlymovingtowardwaywardhumanity.Yes,Jesusshowsupinthecourtroomtoatoneforoursin,buthealsoshowsupinthelivingroom,aroundthedining-roomtable,inthebedroomandtheboardroomsandtheworkshop,andinthegardenandtheplaygroundandeverywherewemayturn.TheIncarnationprovidestheultimateexpressionofhowmuchGodvaluesrelationshipwithus.Godcametous,tolivewithusamidourstruggleandconfusionandpain.Andindoingso,Goddemonstratedarelentlessloveforallcreation.

Fromthistheologicalperspective,thegreattragedyofsinisnotsomuchthedeathsentencewedeserveasitisthebreakingofcovenantandsin’sdisfiguringeffectsonourmostintimaterelationships.Grace,then,isnotonlyChrist’stakingonourdeathsentencebutalsotheamazingpursuingnatureofGod,wholovesusmorethanweimagine.ChrististheultimateexpressionofGod’svastlove:

Mayyouhavethepowertounderstand,asallGod’speopleshould,howwide,howlong,howhigh,andhowdeephisloveis.MayyouexperiencetheloveofChrist,thoughitistoogreattounderstandfully.ThenyouwillbemadecompletewithallthefullnessoflifeandpowerthatcomesfromGod.(Ephesians3:18-19,NLT)

TheologianAnthonyHoekemadescribeshowwearecreatedtobeinrelationshipwithGod,others,nature,andourselves.228Sinbreaksallthis,strainingeachoftheserelationshipsandcausingustobealienatedandisolated.Ifoneacceptsthismorerelationaltheologyofsin,thenarelationalviewofhealingfollows,onefoundedonatriuneGodastheperfectexpressionofhealthyrelatednessandontheIncarnationastheultimateexpressionofGod’sdesiretobeinrelationshipwithus.ThisrelationalviewofhealingcallsustoreflectonthewaysinwhichGod’sdistinctmodesofbeingcommunetogetherinoneness—withoutdivision,domination,death,ordestruction.

InthetraditionofBarth,Godcanbedescribedintermsofcommunity-formingloveandsharedexistencecharacterizedbymutuality,service,andregardforothers.TheperfectfellowshipwithintheTrinityistakentorepresentthefullestdeclarationoflifeandthemissionofGod:toestablish,maintain,andrestorelifeincommunion.God’sdesireforrelationshipwithandamongthecreatedorderisthewondrousbackdropforthethree-act

playportrayedintheScriptures.PerhapsitisthisverydesirethatGodimpressesuponusastheimagoDei,callingustolivefreelyandgladlyinrelationshipsofharmonyandlove.Withthisshifttowardarelationaltheology,wearealmostcertainlycalledtothinkdeeplyaboutitsimplicationsforourworkascounselors.

ThemoreweacceptarelationalperspectiveofGod,sin,andthenatureofpersons,themorearelationalviewofhealingandgrowthmakesense.Whatifourrelationshipswithotherscanbevehiclesforredemptionandsanctificationjustassurelyastheycanpromotesinanddestruction?Ifso,theneffectivecounselingmaynotbesomuchaboutparticulartechniquesorstrategiesasabouttherelationshipthatdevelopsbetweencounselorandclient.Itmaybetherelationshipthatheals,andnotthevarioustechniquesthatwespendyearsmasteringingraduateschool.Asithappens,thesesortsofrelationalviewshavebeenprominentthroughoutthehistoryofpsychology,fromearlypsychodynamictraditionstosomecontemporarycognitiveapproaches.

CollectiveSinAsIhavementionedbefore,Iammarriedtoasociologist.Forthefirstyearsofourmarriage,Lisawasmostlyanat-homemother,butwhenourchildrenwenttoschool,sodidshe.ShewasfinishingherPh.D.dissertationatthesametimeIwaswritingPsychology,Theology,andSpiritualityinChristianCounseling.Sincethattime,wehavehadmanyfascinatingconversationsaboutpsychologyandsociology,oftenovermealsthatwepreparetogether.Webothfeelwearebetteratourrespectivedisciplinesbecauseeachofushastheother’sperspectivetoconsider.

Asapsychologist,mytendencyistoviewsinandgracefromanindividualisticlens.Evenwhendiscussingarelationalviewofsinandhealing,Itendtothinkofone-on-onerelationships.Butsociologiststhinkintermsofgroupsandcollectives,whichhelpspushmebeyondmyindividualistictendencies.

Here’saradicalthought:whatifsinoughttobeviewedcollectivelyaswellasindividualistically?ThroughouttheOldTestamentweseeGodsaddenedandjoyfulabouthischosenpeople—thewholecollective,notjusttheindividuals.Whenunjustscaleswerebeingusedinthemarketplace,Godwasunhappywiththeentirenation,notjustwiththeguiltymerchants.

Ifsincanbecollective,thensocangrace.Godisinterestedinthesavingofindividualsouls,ofcourse,butheisalsointerestedinrestoringallcreationtoaplaceofharmonyandbalanceandjustice.Notonlyisgraceawaytoheavenbutitalsobecomesawayofthinkingaboutalloflife.WhenHoekemaobservesthatwearedisconnectedfromGod,others,ourselves,andnature,thenwemustatleastentertainthepossibilitythatGod’sgraceisintendedtoultimatelyrestoreeverydimensionofthatbrokenness.Lisa’slatestbook,WalkingGentlyontheEarth,looksathowGod’sgracehelpsusviewourrelationshipwithnaturein

freshandredemptiveways.Consideringacollectiveviewofgraceprovidesafreshlensthroughwhichtoview

Christiancounseling.ItisnotonlythehealingofonelifeatatimebutalsoparticipationinGod’sgrandredemptivepresenceinourbrokenworld.ThisisworkthatemergesfromGod’sdeeploveforallcreation,lovethatspansallhumanhistoryandwillpersistthroughalleternity.

FinalThoughtsTherewasadaywhenIwasquitecriticalofbiblicalcounselors.Icaricaturedthemasfolkswhoworkedlikedetectives,searchingforsinintheirclients’livesandthenconvincingthemtorepent.Itstruckmeasabadapproachtocounseling.Inowrealizethattheseweregrossmisrepresentationsofwhatbiblicalcounselorsactuallydo.ThebiblicalcounselorsIrespectmostspeakof“idolsoftheheart,”whichreferstoourpropensitytoputlastthingsfirstandfirstthingslast.This,itturnsout,isaverygoodunderstandingofsinandhowitinterfereswithhumanflourishing.Sinrupturesrelationship,causingustowanderaway—sometimesfaraway—fromGod’ssustainingwillforourlives.Wecanwanderasindividuals,andwecanwanderascommunities.Christiancounseling,likegoodbiblicalcounseling,helpspeoplefindtheirwaybacktothatgreatcommandmentthatJesustaught—toloveGod,andourneighborsasourselves.

AcknowledgmentThankstoMichaelJ.Vogelforhelpingmeconceptualizeandwritethisupdate.MikeandIhaveworkedtogetheronseveralwritingprojects,includingachapterintherevisededitionofJonesandButman’sModernPsychotherapies.IalwaysappreciateMike’sintelligenceandgodlywisdom.

AdditionalReadingMarkR.McMinn,SinandGraceinChristianCounseling(DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPressAcademic,2008).

BibliographyHoekema,AnthonyA.CreatedinGod’sImage.GrandRapids:Eerdmans,1986.Lambert,MichaelJ.“ImplicationsofOutcomeResearchforPsychotherapyIntegration.”InHandbookofPsychotherapyIntegration,editedbyJohnC.NorcrossandMarvinR.Goldfried,94–129.NewYork:BasicBooks,1992.

McMinn,MarkR.ChristianCounseling.Washington,D.C.:AmericanPsychological

Association,2006.Video.McMinn,MarkR.SinandGraceinChristianCounseling.DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPressAcademic,2008.

Norcross,JohnC.,ed.PsychotherapyRelationshipsThatWork:TherapistContributionsandResponsivenesstoPatients.NewYork:OxfordUniversityPress,2002.

6

Confession

Afterseveraleffectivecounselingsessions,Chrisisfinishedcounselingfortheday.Assheleavestheofficeandheadsforhercar,shereflectswithsatisfactiononherday.Mr.Gregoryisfeelingsomerelieffromhisheadaches.Ms.Martinezislessdepressedthanshehasbeeninmonths.AndJeremyisbackatschoolafterseveraldaysofasevereschoolphobia.Ithasbeenagoodday.

Asshepullsoutoftheparkinglot,Chrisentertainsthequestionthatvisitseverycounselorfromtimetotime.Why?Whyarethesepeoplegettingbetter?IsitbecauseChrisisagoodcounselor?Isitbecausehercognitive-behavioraltechniquesareeffective?Oristheresomeotherreason?

IsuspectthecorrectanswertoChris’squestionisthatalloftheabovearetrue.Hercounselingskills,hertheoreticalmodel,andaplethoraofotherfactorsallcontributetothesuccessesthatMr.Gregory,Ms.Martinez,andJeremyarefeeling.Asdiscussedearlier,oneofthetasksfacingresearchersandcounselorsistofigureoutthenatureoftheseotherfactors,oftencallednonspecificfactors.

Perhapsoneofthenonspecificfactorsthathelpsmakecounselingeffectiveisitsconfessionalnature.Incounselingofficesclientsunloadburdensofpainandwell-keptsecrets,oftensecretsthattheyhaveneververbalizedtoanyonebefore.Whencounselorsrespondinacaring,nonjudgmentalway,clientsfeelrelief.Theyleavewithalighterstepthanwhentheycame.

TheideaofconfessionhasnotenjoyedpopularityincontemporaryAmericansociety.EvenamongRomanCatholics,wherethesacramentofpenancehasbeenvaluedforcenturies,thepracticeofconfessioniswaning.“Accordingtothelatestsurvey,in1989,only40percentofCatholicsconfesstheirsinsatleasttwiceayear.”229Asthepracticeofconfessionhasdeclined,theprominenceofpsychotherapyandcounselinghasincreased.Americanshaveexchangedoneformofconfessionforanother,preferringtoseeacounselorforanemotionalproblemratherthanapastororpriestforaspiritualproblem.SharonHymer,apsychotherapist,writes:“Thedeclineinreligiousbeliefandchurchattendanceinourculturehasforcedindividualstolookelsewhereforconfession....Withthedisappearanceoftraditionalavenuesofconfession,psychotherapyhasarisentoprovideanoutletfortheconfessionalimpulse.”230

Thoughnotallcounselingisconfessionalinnature,muchis.Thus,Christiancounselorsneedtothinkcarefullyabouttheconfessionalaspectsandimplicationsofcounseling.As

counselorshavebeenaskedtolistentotheirclients’confessions,somehaveexaggeratedtheirroleaspriestandreducedcomplexemotionalproblemstosimpleformulasofpersonalsin.Theyemphasizerepentanceandbehavioralchangewithoutproperlyunderstandingtherelationalnatureofcounselingandtheirspiritualneedforhumility.Othercounselorshaverebelledagainsttheconfessionalnatureofcounselingaltogetherandhavetriedtoteachtheirclientsthatthereisnothingtoconfess:“I’mokay,andyou’reokay.”BetweenthesetwoextremesisaplaceforcompetentChristiancounseling,whereconfessionishumblyacceptedasavalidpartofthecounselingprocessandwherethecounselingrelationshipmodelsthegraceandkindnessofChrist.

Foundations

PsychologyThefewpublishedarticlesaboutpsychologyandconfessionarewrittenfromavarietyofperspectives,sampledbrieflyhere.

PsychologicalEffectsofConfessionSomeauthorshaveattemptedtounderstandtheeffectsofconfessionbyusingthetoolsofpsychologicalscience.Twoexamplesofthesestudiesincludetestingtheimpression-managementeffectsofpublicconfessionandtestingthephysiologicaleffectsofprivateconfession.

BernardWeinerandhiscolleaguesreportedfiverole-playingstudiestotesttheeffectsofpublicconfession(notinachurchsetting).231Theyfoundthatpublicconfession,especiallyconfessionthatisnotpromptedbyanaccusation,makesobserverslessangryandcausesthemtojudgetheoffenderaslessculpablethanoffenderswhodonotconfess.Itisdifficulttogeneralizetheresultsofthesestudiestocounselingpracticebecausetheprivateconfessionofcounselingdiffersinsignificantwaysfromthepublicconfessionstudiedbytheresearchers.Muchmoreresearchisneededbeforecounselorsunderstandhowtheirviewsoftheirclientsareaffectedbythetypesofconfessionusedbytheclient.

JamesPennebakerandcolleagueshaveinvestigatedthephysiologicaleffectsofdisclosingpersonalandtraumaticexperiences.232Amongothermeasures,theyusedskinconductanceasameasureofanxiety.Thosewhodisclosedhighlevelsofpersonalinformationshowedlowerlevelsofskinconductance(lessanxiety)afterdisclosingpersonalinformationthantheydidaftertalkingaboutinnocuoustopics.Thus,confessionappearstohavephysiologicalbenefits.However,itisimportanttorememberthatthesamefindingswerenotobservedamongthosemorecautiousintheirdisclosingstyle.Thus,itisdifficulttotranslatethesefindingsintoclearprinciplesforcounseling.Onepossibleimplicationisthatpeoplewhonaturallydisclosemoreincounselingwillbelesspronetopsychosomatic

ailmentsthanthosewhoarenaturallymorecautious.ThisissupportedbyanotherofPennebaker’sstudiesshowingthatthosewhoexpressedgriefafterthelossofaspousehadfewerphysicalailmentsthanthosewhotriedtodealwiththeirgriefprivately.233

ConfessionalNatureofPsychotherapyIfconfessionhaspsychologicalbenefits,asitappearsto,thenhowcanconfessionbeintroducedintocounseling?Thisprobablyrequireslittleeffortonthepartofthecounselorbecauseconfessionisanatural,automaticpartofcounseling.Counselors,justbybeingavailabletoclients,hearconfessionsmuchasRomanCatholicpriestshaveforcenturies.Bothcounselorsandpriestshelphurtingpeopleseekrestorationandtheresolutionofproblemssuchasanger,guilt,andshame.234Counselingandreligiousconfessionbothreflecttherhythmdescribedinchapter2:apersonrecognizesandadmitsneedandisthendrawnintoahealingrelationshipthroughtheunderstandingorabsolvingwordsofapriestorcounselor.SwisspsychiatristCarlJungobservedthatconfessiontoatherapistnaturallyproducesreliefbecauseafterpeopleconfesstheyfeelreunitedwiththehumancommunity.235

Despitetheconfessionalnatureofcounseling,therearedistinctionsbetweenreligiousconfessionandcounseling.Religiousconfessionassumesmoralerroronthepartoftheconfessor,whereascounselingusuallyassumes“alargerproblemthatisunconsciouslymotivated.”236Forexample,ifaclientadmitshittinghiswife,apriestwillfocusonconfessionofmoralerror,penance,andforgiveness.Acounselor,incontrast,mightfocusmoreonhelpingtheclientexplorehisangeraboutbeingabusedhimselfasachild,hismisconceptionsaboutgenderroles,andhiscurrentstrugglesforcontrolinhismarriage.Thepriestfocusesontheimmediatemoralproblem,whereasthecounselorlooksforapsychologicalcontexttohelpexplainwhythemanhithiswife.Bothareconcernedwithchangingthebehavior,butthemethodsaredifferent.Confessionassumesmoralviolation,andcounselingassumesmoralneutrality.

Althoughthisdistinctionbetweenthemethodsofconfessionandcounselingisoftenvalid,wemustbecarefultorecognizethatitisnotanentirelyadequatedistinctionbecauseitreturnsustothesin-versus-sicknessdichotomycriticizedinchapter5:priestsattributeproblemstosin,andcounselorsattributeproblemstosickness.YetChristiancounselorsoftenfindthemselvessomewhereinthemiddle,believingthatbothsinandsicknesscontributetodysfunctionalhumanbehavior.Becauseofthis,Christiancounselingshouldnotalwaysbemorallyneutral;moraldiscourseoughttobeincludedinsomecounselingsituations.237

Severalreligiouspsychotherapistshaverecentlymadesimilarrecommendations,suggestingthatcounselingcanandshould,attimes,haveamoraldimension.Ratherthanperpetuatingacceptance,whichRichardEricksondescribesasanattitudethatcommunicatesthatallthingsareacceptable,Ericksonbelievespsychotherapistsshouldintroduceamoraldimensionincounselingbyassistingclientsintheirdesireforrestoration:aprocessof

confessingwrong,makingamends,andtakingresponsibilityforfutureactions.PsychologistAllenBerginseemstoagreewithErickson.In1980,Berginpublishedalandmarkarticleentitled,“PsychotherapyandReligiousValues.”238Inthearticlehedescribedtwobroadclassesofvaluesthatareprominentinthemental-healthfields.TheisticvaluesarebasedonthepresuppositionthathumanmoralityisbestunderstoodinlightofGod’sexistenceandrevelation.Clinical-Humanisticvaluesarebasedonthepresuppositionthathumansaresupremeandinchargeoftheirowndestiny.Oneofthedifferencesbetweentheisticandclinical-humanisticvaluesinvolvesthewayconfessionishandled.Berginwritesoftheisticvaluesinmentalhealth:“Personalresponsibilityforownharmfulactionsandchangesinthem.Acceptanceofguilt,suffering,andcontritionaskeystochange.Restitutionforharmfuleffects.”239Thisvaluestatementsuggeststhatsinissometimesanaccurateandhelpfulattributionformanyhumanproblems.Incontrast,hedescribesclinical-humanisticvaluesthisway:“Othersareresponsibleforourproblemsandchanges.Minimizingguiltandrelievingsufferingbeforeexperiencingitsmeaning.Apologyforharmfuleffects.”240Thisvaluestatementsuggeststhatpsychologicalsickness,notsin,causeshumanproblems.Thus,oneoftheprimarydistinctionsbetweentheisticandclinical-humanisticvaluesseemstohingeonthewaytheisticcounselorsdealwithclients’desirestoconfesswrongdoing.241

ShouldChristiancounselorsviewclients’confessionsassinandemphasizetheneedforrepentanceandrestitution,orshouldtheyviewclients’confessionsasresultingfromsicknessandemphasizetheneedforpsychologicalinsightandself-understanding?Asdiscussedinthepreviouschapter,thisdichotomyistoostark.Thebestcounselingapproachisfoundsomewherebetweenthesetwoextremes.ThechallengeforChristiancounselorsistolookatabroadpsychologicalcontextformoralerrors,whichhastraditionallydistinguishedcounselorsfromclerics,andyetnotslipintoamoralrelativismthatdiscountsthesignificanceofsinandthehealingpowerofremorseandconfession.Thischallengeisillustratedinthefollowingcase.

WhatIfThisHappened?

R.E.Morsecomesforcounselingtodealwithherdepression.Butinthemidstofthethirdsession,sheunloadsherdeepestsecret.Shortlyaftershehadmarriedherhusband,shehadabriefaffairwithaformerboyfriend.Shehasnevertoldanyoneuntilnow.

Hercounselorhasachoice.WhichattitudeshouldsheuseintalkingwithMs.Morse?

AttitudeA:“Thisisatragicevent,andIcanunderstandwhyithasbeendifficulttotalkabout.Iwanttohelpyouthinkthroughtheimplicationsof

theaffair,includingwaysithashurtyouandothers,howitcanhelpyoulearnaboutyourself,andyourneedforrestitutionandreconciliation.Theultimategoalsshouldbegrowth—thatyouunderstandyourselfandothersbetter—andforgiveness—thatyouexperienceGod’sforgiveness,forgiveyourself,andbereconciledtothoseaffectedbyyourpastattitudesandactions.”

AttitudeB:“Thisisabadevent,andweneedtounderstandwhatdeepemotionalneedsyouweretryingtofillwiththisaffair.Butthereislittleuseinyellingatyourselforcondemningyourself.Perhapsyouwereexperiencingambivalentfeelingsafteryourmarriage,longingforintimacythatyoumissedasachild,andyouraffairwasawaytocopewiththelonelinessandconfusionyoufeltinside.Severalyearshavepassed,andnooneappearstohavebeenhurtbyyouractions,exceptthatyouaredepressingyourselfwithself-condemningthoughts.Itistimetobenicetoyourself,understandthemotivesthatcompelledyoutowardthisaffair,andmoveaheadwithyourlife.

WhereasattitudeBreflectsthebeliefthatMs.Morseactedoutsexuallyandhasbeendepressedbecauseofpsychologicalsickness,attitudeAalsoemphasizesthehealingnatureofguilt,remorse,andrestitution.

Guilt:AConceptRelatedtoConfessionThecaseofMs.Morseraisesanotherquestionthatisrelatedtoconfession:shouldguiltbeencouragedordiscouraged?242Thoughguilthasbeentheoreticallylinkedtopsychologicaldisturbance,therelationshipsamongreligion,guilt,anddisturbancehavebeendebatedvigorously.Guilthassometimesbeenperceivedasaharmfulandself-defeatingemotionaccompanyingreligiousfaith.243Atothertimes,guiltisperceivedasanemotionthatreflectsempathyforothersandleadstousefulreparativeactions.244Recentresearchsuggeststheremaybeaplaceforhealthyguilt.

Ina1991study,intrinsicallyreligiousparticipants(thosewhosefaithiscentraltotheirlives)scoredhigheronaguilt-pronenessscalethanextrinsicallyreligiousparticipants(thosewhoevaluatetheirreligiousfaithinlightoftheirotherneeds).Despitetheirpronenesstoguiltfeelings,intrinsicparticipantsdidnotreportmoredepressionorlessexistentialwell-beingthanextrinsicparticipants.245Similarly,JunePriceTangneyandhercolleagueshavereportedseveralstudiessuggestingthatpronenesstoguilt,unlikepronenesstoshame,isunrelatedtopsychologicalmaladjustment.246Infact,recentevidencesuggeststhatthosemostpronetoshame-freeguiltarelesslikelythanotherstoexperienceanger,hostility,and

resentment.247Inananalogstudyinvolvingeighty-threecollegestudents,twocolleaguesandI

presentedparticipantswithacontinuousnarrativecontainingthreescenariosinwhichtheyfirstcommittedadishonestactandthenfeltcompelledtoconfesswhattheyhaddone.248Thefinalscenariocontainedamanipulationofgraceorno-grace,inwhichhalfoftheparticipantswereforgivenfortheiractandhalfwerenot.Followingeachscenario,participantsweretestedforfeelingsofguiltandrelatedbehavioralandemotionalresponses.Thosestudentswhowerehighlycommittedtotheirreligiousfaithweremorepronetoguiltandmoreinclinedtoconfesstheirmisdeedsthanotherparticipants;atthesametime,thehighlycommittedstudentswerelesspronetoothernegativeemotions,suchasdepression,anxiety,andhostility.Weconcludedthatsomeformsofguiltmaybebeneficial.

Severalreligiouspsychologistshavenotedapositiveroleforcertainformsofguilt.S.BruceNarramoredistinguishesbetweenconstructivesorrow—aremorsefulresponseleadingtoconfessionandreconciliation—andself-focusedguilt(similartowhatTangneycallsshame)—aresponsethatdamagesone’sself-image.249P.ScottRichardsexhortscounselorstomakeasimilardistinctionintheirworkwithreligiouslydevoutstudents:“Thus,althoughreligiouslydevoutstudentsmaybemorepronetoguilt,counselorsshouldnotassumethatthisisdysfunctionalforthem.Intheirdesiretohelpclientsfeelbetter,practitionershaveattimesindiscriminatelyattemptedtoneutralizeclients’guiltwithoutgivingsufficientconsiderationtowhethertheguiltwasanappropriateemotionalresponsetoactualwrongdoings.”250

Thus,guiltisnotalwaysanegativephenomenon.Guilthelpsusunderstandandadheretomoralstandards,supportsoursenseoforderintheuniverse,andmotivatesustoreconcilewithoneanother.251Guiltnotonlysometimespreventsblaming,resentment,andanger,butitcanalsoleadtoagreaterunderstandingofGod’sgrace.WhenIsrael’sKingDavidcommittedadulteryandmurder,hefeltdeepremorse.Hewrote:“Washmethoroughlyfrommyiniquity,andcleansemefrommysin.ForIknowmytransgressions,andmysiniseverbeforeme.Againstyou,youalone,haveIsinned,anddonewhatisevilinyoursight,sothatyouarejustifiedinyoursentenceandblamelesswhenyoupassjudgment”(Ps.51:2-4).David’ssorrowfulremorseledhimtomarvelatGod’sgraceratherthanfallintoastateofexcessiveself-deprecation.Helaterconcluded:“Purgemewithhyssop,andIshallbeclean;washme,andIshallbewhiterthansnow”(Ps.51:7).

KingDavidknewasimpletruththatwehaveoftenoverlookedincontemporarysociety.Heknewthatproperguiltandconfessionistheonlypathtoforgivenessandrestoration.Todayweprefertoblameorexcuseoreventowallowinshame.DavidBelgum,atheologianandcounselor,observes:“Ourgenerationmaywellbecharacterizedasanageofirresponsibility.Ratherthanacceptingourguiltformisdeeds,werationalizeourwayout,blaming‘conditioned’causes;weattributeourbehaviortoourenvironmentorheredity,orto

ourfaultytrainingorlackofneed-gratification.”252KingDavidtookadifferentroute.Heconfessedhisguiltandembarkedonthepathto

reconciliationwithGod.Whenwedenyordisqualifyguiltfromcounseling,werobourclientsofopportunitiesforgodlysorrow,repentance,andrestoration.

ChristianTheology

ConfessionandtheSacramentofPenanceTheChristianchurchhasalwaysbeeninterestedinconfession,butthemeansofconfessionhaschangedthroughoutthepasttwomillennia.WeknowfromScripture(seeActs19)thataformofpublicconfessionwaspracticedbytheearlychurch.ConfessioncontinuedasanimportantpartofearlyChristianity,asevidencedbywrittenconfessionsofspiritualleaders.SeveralcenturiesafterChrist,SaintAugustineandSaintPatrickeachwrotetheirconfessions,AugustinearoundA.D.397andPatrickaroundA.D.460.Theirconfessionsareilluminatingcombinationsofautobiography,confessionsoffaith,andconfessionsofsin.253

Augustine’sConfessionsandhisotherwritingsservedasapartialfoundationforscholasticism,amovementthatattemptedtoanalyzefaithintellectually.Scholasticismgrewthroughoutthetwelfthcentury,andwithitcamethedoctrineandsacramentofpenance.Scholasticsbelievedthreethingswerenecessaryforrepentance:feelingsofremorse,verbalconfession,andrestitution.Thesethreetenetsofthedoctrineofpenanceseemreasonable,butthepracticeofrepentancesoonbecameexternalized—amatteroffulfillingthechurch’srulesratherthanamatteroftheheart.WhenJohnCalvinwrotehisInstitutesoftheChristianReligioninthemid-1500s,hesharplycriticizedthescholastics’doctrineofpenanceandtherelatedpracticeofbuyingindulgencesfromtheCatholicChurch.LongbeforethedaysofProzac,Calvinrecommendedmedicationforthescholastics:“Thesemenarefittobetreatedbydrugsforinsanityratherthantobearguedwith.”254Incontrasttothedoctrineofpenance,CalvinarguedthatconfessionshouldbeofferedsecretlytoGod,andwhenpublicconfessionwasnecessary,itshouldbeavoluntaryactofcontritionbeforeotherhumans.

CalvinandtheotherReformerscalledChristianstoapersonalencounterwithGod.BeforetheReformation,churchmembersapproachedtheCatholicpriestasamediatortoGod.Thus,thenaturalplacetogoforconfessionwastothepriest.AsadirectresultoftheReformation,ProtestantsnowbelieveGodcanbeapproacheddirectly,withoutaninterveningcleric.Thus,confessionispersonal,secret,anddirectlyaddressedtoGod.

ThisProtestantviewofconfessioncloselyparallelstheviewofsinpresentedinchapter5.Ifourhumanproblemwerelimitedtopersonalsin,thensalvationcouldbefoundbyconfessingourpersonalsinstoGodoroneofGod’srepresentatives,suchasapriest.Butbecauseourhumanproblemalsoinvolvesoriginalsin,ourconfessionmustbemoregeneralthanacknowledgingpersonalactsofrebellion.WemustconfessourchronichumanneedforGod.Evenondayswhenwethinkweviolatenoscripturalcommands,wearestillplagued

byhumanfrailties.Thespiritofconfessioncannotbecapturedbythedoctrineofpenance;confessionisahumbleandcontriteposturethatweshouldassumecontinuallyinthepresenceofGod.MartinLutherputitthisway:“WhenIadmonishmentocometoconfession,IamsimplyurgingthemtobeChristians.”255

HavingarguedfortheProtestantviewofconfession,itisalsoimportanttorememberthattheRomanCatholicviewsofconfessionandpenancealsohavemerit.256First,regularconfessionforcesustoconfrontoursin.Inthemidstofeverydaylife,itiseasytooverlookorminimizeourmisdeeds.Thosewhoregularlyconfesswrongdoingmaytakesinmoreseriouslythanthosewhodon’t.Second,theactofpenance—payingapriceforsin—producesanawarenessoftheseriousnessofsin.AsloppyunderstandingofReformedtheologyproducesacarelessnesstowardsin:“Ohwell,Iwillalwaysbeforgiven.”Penancefightsthistendencybyimposingconsequencesforsin.Third,theburdenofguiltisliftedasforgivenessisgrantedduringthesacramentofpenance.Thisisprofoundlyliberatingforsomepeople.

ConfessionandScriptureGiventhehistoricalturbulenceregardingconfession,itisimportanttolooktoScripturetounderstandtheproperpracticeofconfession.Scripturedescribestwocommonusesofconfession.257Thefirstistheconfessionoffaith,publiclydeclaringourallegiancetoGod.ThisisseenthroughouttheBible.WhenJesussentouthisdisciplestospreadthegospel,hecautionedthemthattheywouldbescornedandrejected,noting,“Everyonethereforewhoacknowledgesmebeforeothers,IalsowillacknowledgebeforemyFatherinheaven;butwhoeverdeniesmebeforeothers,IalsowilldenybeforemyFatherinheaven”(Matt.10:32-33).Jesusknewthatsomepeoplewouldconfesshimandsomewouldnot.Later,theapostlePauldescribedconfessionoffaithasanimportantgoalofChrist’sworkofsalvation:“ThereforeGodalsohighlyexaltedhimandgavehimthenamethatisaboveeveryname,sothatatthenameofJesuseverykneeshouldbend,inheavenandonearthandundertheearth,andeverytongueshouldconfessthatJesusChristisLord,tothegloryofGodtheFather”(Phil.2:9-11).ImplicitintheconfessionoffaithisarecognitionofourneedforGod.WecannotreachGodonourown—wemustfallhumblyatGod’sfeetandaskforhelp.

Second,confessionofsinisdescribedthroughoutScripture.Whenwesin,weareinstructedtoconfessinvariousways,dependingonthecircumstancesinvolved.WemustfreelyconfessoursintoGod.WhilereflectingonthegoodnessofGod’sforgiveness,KingDavidremembered,“ThenIacknowledgedmysintoyou,andIdidnothidemyiniquity;Isaid,‘IwillconfessmytransgressionstotheLord,’andyouforgavetheguiltofmysin”(Ps.32:5).Andin1John1:8-9weareremindedofthesameprinciple:“Ifwesaythatwehavenosin,wedeceiveourselves,andthetruthisnotinus.Ifweconfessoursins,hewhoisfaithfulandjustwillforgiveusoursinsandcleanseusfromallunrighteousness.”

InadditiontoconfessingtoGod,wearealsoobligedtoconfesssinstooneanother,especiallythosewehaveharmed.JesusaddressedthisintheSermonontheMountwhenhetoldpeoplenottooffersacrificestoGoduntilrelationshipconflictshavebeenresolvedwithoneanother.“Firstbereconciledtoyourbrotherorsister,andthencomeandofferyourgift”(Matt.5:24).Jamesgavemoregeneralinstructionsthatencourageustoshareourweaknessesandfailuresinthecontextofaloving,praying,supportiveChristiancommunity.“Thereforeconfessyoursinstooneanother,andprayforoneanother,sothatyoumaybehealed.Theprayeroftherighteousispowerfulandeffective”(James5:16).

WhatIfThisHappened?

NowthatMs.Morsehasconfessedheradulterytohercounselor,shewondersifsheshouldalsotellherhusband.Shelookstohercounselorforadvice.

Thisisadifficultsituation,andnoadviceshouldbegivenreflexivelywithoutconsideringtheimplicationsandnuancesofthespecificsituation.ButtheseadmonitionsofScriptureshouldberememberedinformulatingaresponse.Evenifhedoesnotknowit,Ms.Morse’shusbandhasbeenhurt,andtheroutetoreconciliationmayrequireMs.Morsetoconfessheraffair.

Scripturealsoreferstoconfessingsintospiritualleaders.DavidconfessedhissintotheprophetNathan(2Sam.12);peopleconfessedtheirsinsandwerebaptizedbyJohntheBaptist(Matt.3);andthebelieversatEphesusconfessedtheirsinstotheapostlePaul(Acts19).Thescripturalpracticeofconfessiontospiritualleadersisalwaysvoluntary,anactoffreewillforthepurposeofspiritualrestoration.Incontrast,thedoctrineofpenancethatCalvincriticizedsosharplyhadbecomeobligatory:peopleconfessedaspartofamechanizedprocessofrepentance.

Finally,weareinstructedinScripturetoconfessoursinstoalocalchurchbodyundersomecircumstances.Ifasinaffectsanentirecommunityofbelievers,thenthesinissometimestobeconfrontedorconfessedpublicly(seetheexamplefacedbytheCorinthianchurchin1Cor.5andtheresolutionalludedtoin2Cor.2:6-8).Ingeneral,confessionmaybelimitedtothescopeofthosedirectlyaffectedbythesin.

ThroughoutScriptureandchurchhistory,weseetwocommonthemesofconfession.Oneistheconfessionofpersonalsin,sometimesdoneinthepresenceofapriest,theoffendedparty,atrustedfriend,oracommunityofbelievers,andsometimesofferedsecretlytoGod.Theotherisageneralconfessionoffaith—admittingthefutilityofourownattemptstograspformeaningandacknowledgingourneedforGod.Bothtypesofconfessionrequirehumility.

SpiritualityConfessionrequireshumility,andhumilityisnoteasy.Oftenone’sinitialexposuretospiritualdisciplinesmakesconfessionmoredifficultbecausewebecomesoenthralledbythespirituallifethatwemistakenlyassumespiritualityisapathtohappinessratherthanhumility.Thereisoftenasenseofexhilaration,asiflife’sstruggleshavebeenimmediatelyandpermanentlyresolvedbyseveralweeksormonthsofspiritualdisciplines.Confessionisnotappealingforthosewhoseespiritualgrowthasapathtogreaterhappinessandexuberancebecauseconfessionrequiresustoacknowledgethechronicacheofhumanexistenceandourutterinabilitytotranscendoursinnaturewithwillpoweralone.C.S.Lewiswrotethata“Christian’snostrilistobecontinuallyattentivetotheinnercesspool.”258Thesmellofsinisnotapleasantone,butitisanecessaryoneforChristiansseriousaboutspiritualgrowth.

Wesoonlearnthatthedisciplinesarenotanendinthemselves.Theyarenotapanacea,andlife’sstrugglescontinue.GodcallsustoadisciplinedlifenotinordertomakeusfeelgoodbuttotransformusbygivingusaclearerunderstandingofourselvesandofGod’scharacter.Spiritualdevelopmentcausesustobeincreasinglysaddenedbyfallenhumancharacter,grievedbytheeffectsofsinintheworld,andsurprisedandoverwhelmedbyGod’sredemptivegrace.Thisistheessenceofhumility—seeingourselvesandGodaccurately.

Humilitymustbedistinguishedfromself-abasement.JeremyTaylor,aseventh-centuryscholar,wrotethat“humilitydoesnotconsistincriticizingyourself,orwearingraggedclothes,orwalkingaroundsubmissivelywhereveryougo.Humilityconsistsinarealisticopinionofyourself,namely,thatyouareanunworthyperson.”259Weareunworthybutnotworthless.Thereisnovalueinseeingourselvesasutterlyevilandloathsome.Rather,humilityrequiresustolookatourselveshonestlyandrecognizethatweareaconvolutedmixtureofmotives,ofgoodandbad,pureandimpure,altruismandegocentrism.Humilitymeansweunderstandhumanstrengthsaswellashumanweaknesses.Wemustnotforgethumanpotentialandgoodnessbecausesomewheredeepinsideisalwaysaglimmeringurgetoconfess,toberestoredandreconciledinmeaningfulrelationships,todowhatisrightandabandonwhatiswrong.DallasWillardcallsthisour“innateintegrity.”260Weinwardlylongtoconfessoursinstooneanother,tomakerestitutionforoursins,andtofindforgiveness.Confessiondrawsusoutofoursecludeddarknessandbringsusintothelight.Yet,weoftenresistinnerurgesforconfessionandforgiveness.

ResistingConfessionConfessioninvolvessacrificingourgoodimageforthesakeoftruthorarelationshipwithanother.Becauseconfessionhasacost,weoftenresistit.Thereareatleasttwoformsthisresistancecantake.

Forsomepeople,resistancetakestheformofavoidingthespirituallife.Ifcomingto

Christinvolvesadmittingneed,thentheyprefertostayaway,surroundingthemselveswithacloakofself-sufficiencyandindependence.Thosewhoadmitnoneedhavenothingtoconfess.

Forothers,thespirituallifeisappealingandrich,andthecommunityofChristianbelieversisrewardingandfulfilling.Soontheirspiritualitybecomesasourceofsecretpride.Whenchurchesarefilledwithpeoplenursingspiritualpride,theblessingsofcommunityareovershadowedbyuglycompetition.RatherthanbeingaplacewhereChristiansconfesstooneanother,thechurchsometimesbecomesaplacewherewecompetewithoneanother,tryingtoimpressotherswithourspiritualmaturity.Confessionisdifficultinthiscontextbecausetoconfessistoshatterourfantasizedpersonaofperfection.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Mr.andMs.Christensenareseeingacounselorforhelpwiththeirmarriage.Mr.Christensenisadeaconinthechurch,apillarinthecommunity,andaninattentivechauvinistathome.Hissuccessinlife,hisintentionalpracticeofspiritualdisciplines,andtherespecthegetsfromothershavemadehimaproudman.Heresistsanycounselingeffortsthatsuggesthemaysharesomeblameinthemarriageproblems.

SomewouldliketothinkofMr.Christensenasastrong-willedhypocrite.Perhapsitismoreaccuratetoseehimasavulnerablepilgrim,tryingtoeasehisinnerpainbyavoidingblameandseekingapprovalfromothers.

TheChristensens’counseloriswiseenoughtoseeMr.Christensen’spainbeneathhisdefensiveandoppositionalstyle.Thecounselordoestwoessentialthings:ShesupportsMr.Christensenbybeingacceptingandnurturing,andsherefusestoshieldhimorexcusehimfromthepainassociatedwithhispoorchoicesathome.Ashefeelsacceptedbyhiscounselor,hebecomesmorehonestwithhimselfandhisspouse.Thepainofconfrontationandinsightisprofoundattimes,butMr.Christensengrowsthroughthecounselingexperience.

BoththosewhoresistconfessionbyavoidingthespirituallifeandthosewhoresistbecauseofsecretprideareinneedofthesametwothingsthatMr.Christensen’scounselorfostered:supportandpain.Supportdrawslonelyandisolatedpeopleintocommunity.Paindrawsthosecaughtinthegripofself-sufficiencytoanewunderstandingofneed.PainalsoweansusfromourspiritualprideandallowsustolooktoGodratherthanreputationforstrength.

Supportandpainarebothpresentinthespirituallife.Inthesixteenthcentury,SaintJohnoftheCrosswroteTheDarkNightoftheSoul,whichdescribeshowGodwalkswithusonthepathofspiritualgrowth.Atfirst,wefeelsupportedbyGod’spresence—“nurturedand

caressedbytheSpirit”asweenterintothejoyofknowingGod.261Weprayfervently,trynewspiritualdisciplines,anddrawclosetoGod.Butwiththisnewlydiscoveredspiritualgrowth,spiritualimpuritiessproutandgrowaswell.Soonwebecomeproud,likeMr.Christensenintheprecedingexample.SaintJohnoftheCrosswrites,“Suchpersonsbecometoospiritual.Theyliketospeakof‘spiritualthings’allthetime.Theybecomecontentwiththeirgrowth.Theywouldprefertoteachratherthantobetaught.Theycondemnotherswhoarenotasspiritualastheyare.TheyarelikethePhariseewhoboastedinhimselfanddespisedthepublicanwhowasnotasspiritualashe.”262Peopleatthisstageofspiritualdevelopmentfearconfessionbecauseitwillhurttheirimage.Forthisproblem,Godhasasolution,thoughnotahighlydesirableonefromahumanperspective.ThepainofthedarknightofthesouldrawsusclosertoGodbyremovingimpuritiesfromourcharacter.

Speakingofthoseonthespiritualpath,SaintJohncontinues,“TherewillcomeatimewhenGodwillbidthemtogrowdeeper.Hewillremovethepreviousconsolationfromthesoulinordertoteachitvirtueandpreventitfromdevelopingvice.”263Duringthisdarknight,whenthesupportandhappinessweinitiallyassociatedwithspiritualityhasvanished,ourcharacterisgraduallytransformed.WelearntothinklessofourselvesandourreligiouspietyandmoreaboutGod’sgreatness.Welearnaboutourspiritualprideandfindpathstogreatermaturity.Humility—thecapacitytoseeourselvesandGodaccurately—istheproperpostureforconfession,andourcapacityforhumilityisforgedintimesofdarkness,inconfrontingfailuresandweaknesses.

PsychologicalandSpiritualHealthAnaccurateunderstandingofsinandconfessiondoesleadtohumilityandhope,notdespairandshame.ThisisanessentialdistinctionforChristiancounselorsbecausesomanyofthoseweworkwithfeelshameinsteadofhope.Theysometimesresistconfession,assumingitwillonlybringgreatershame.

Whenfacedwiththerealityoffallenhumannature,wecometoaforkintheroadandareleftwiththreechoices(showninfigure5).Onechoiceistodonothing,tostandparalyzedinastateofshameandproclaimourworthlessness.Manypeoplewhoseekcounselingcomeinthiscondition.Theyneedhelptomoveahead.Thesecondchoiceistoconfessourfallennature,findwaysofmakingrestitutionwhenappropriate,acceptforgiveness,andberestoredtohealthyrelationships.Confessionbringspsychologicalgrowthandspiritualrenewal.Itis“ameansofhealingandtransformingtheinnerspirit.”264Noticethatthisroutetakestime,humility,anddiligence.Thethirdchoiceistoseekcomfortthroughmeansotherthanconfession.Forexample,wecanfeelbetterbylearningtotellourselvesthatourfaultsreallyarenottoobadorbyfindingunconditionalacceptanceinacounselor.Ratherthanconfessingandseekingforgiveness,weattempttoeaseourconsciencethrough

psychologicaltricksthataffectourwaysofthinkingandfeeling.ThisisasecularizedversionofwhatDietrichBonhoeffercalledcheapgrace:“Nocontritionisrequired,stilllessanyrealdesiretobedeliveredfromsin.”265

Sometypesofcounseling,religiousornot,arelegitimatemodelsofconfessionandforgiveness.Attheendofthesecounselingrelationshipsistheprofoundawareness,“Iamforgiven.”Othertypesofcounselingaremostlywaysoftrickingpeopleintofeelinggoodagain.Attheendofthesecounselingrelationshipsistheself-focusedproclamation,“Iamokay.”Bothroutesmakepeoplefeelbetter,butonlyconfessionbringshumilityandspiritualgrowthaswellasemotionalwell-being.

Bylistinghumannatureastheprobleminfigure5,Iamnotsuggestingthatallpsychologicalproblemsarethedirectresultofpersonalsin.Manyclientshaveproblemsthataremorerelatedtooriginalsinthantopersonalsin.Theycarryscarsofabandonment,rejection,abuse,andridicule.Theyhavelearnedfaultywaysofadaptingtolife’sdemandsorrelatingtoothers.Butallpsychologicalproblems(aswellasallotherproblems)arethedirectorindirectresultoffallenhumannature.Thequestionswestrugglewithascounselorsare,Howdoweunderstandtheproblemoffallenness?andHowdowehelpourclientscopewiththerealitiesoflivingasfallenhumansinafallenworld?Evenwhenconfessiondoesnotinvolveconfessingspecificmisdeeds,anattitudeofhumilityrequiresustoconfessourinadequacybeforeGodandourneedforcommunitywithGodandothers.

Whichcounselingstylesmoveclientstowardhealthyconfessionandforgiveness?This

dependsonthepersonalhumilityofthecounselorandthenatureofthecounselingrelationshipmorethanthetheoryorspecifictechniquethecounseloruses.Sometherapists—whetherusingbehavioral,cognitive,psychodynamic,familysystems,orothertheories—areabletoincorporateaworldviewofhumilityandconfessionintheirclinicalwork.Othersarenot.Someneglectconfession.Someemphasizeconfessionwhileneglectingtobehumble.Othersencourageconfessionandstillremainhumble,leadingtheirclientstogreaterinsightandmaturity.Toevaluatecounselingstylesthatpromotehealingconfession,wereturntothesamethreequestionsaskedinpreviouschapters.Aseachofthethreequestionsisconsidered,itwillbeappliedtothecounselingcasedescribedhere:

WhatIfThisHappened?

Ronwassexuallyandemotionallyabusedbyhisparentsduringhischildhoodyears.Duringadolescencehewithdrewfromhisparents,beganusingdrugsheavily,andwassexuallyirresponsibleandpromiscuous.Inthemid-1970shereturnedtocollege,becameaChristianthroughacampus-ministrygroup,finishedanundergraduatedegreeineconomics,andstartedworking.Hehasfounditdifficulttomaintainsteadyemploymentoverthepastfifteenyears,oftenbecauseofpersonalityconflictswithhissupervisors.Ronhasbeenmarriedtwice,divorcedtwice,andisnowlivingonhisown.Histwochildrenlivewiththeirmothers.Heseekscounselingbecauseofchronicfeelingsofemptinessanddepression.

Ronisconsideringthreecounselors.Whichshouldhechoose?CounselorAbelievesRon’sproblemsarecausedbyhischildhoodsexualabuse,

whichhehasneverdealtwithadequately.Asachild,Ronlearnedtothinkofhimselfashelplessandpowerless,evenoverhisownbody.Incounseling,heneedstobeempowered,toexploreandexpresshisanger,andtoridhimselfoftheguiltandshamehehascarriedwithhimformanyyears.WhathappenedtoRonisnothisfault.Heneedstoreplacehisshamewithappropriateangertowardhisabusers.

CounselorBbelievesRon’sproblemsarebitternessandalackofrepentance.AlthoughRonhasbeenaChristianformorethanfifteenyears,hehasnotforgivenhisparentsandtakenresponsibilityforhisownimmoralchoices.Ron’sbitternesstowardhisparentsisobviousinhisconflictualrelationshipswithsupervisorsandhisinabilitytostaymarried.Ronneedstoconfesshisbitterness,forgetwhatliesbehind,andpressontowardgreaterobedienceandspiritualmaturity.

CounselorCbelievesthesexualabusethatRonexperiencedasachildisatragicexampleofsin.Becauseoftheabuse,Ronhascarriedshamefeelingsandhasmadepoorchoicesformanyyears.Tobeliberatedfromhisprisonofshame,Ronmustexperienceanewtypeofrelationshipwithhiscounselor.Inthecontextofasafe,

nonjudgmental,honestcounselingrelationship,Ronwillbefreetoexplorehisthoughtsandfeelingsopenlyandtogrievethelossofachildhood.Withtime,andinthecontextofthissaferelationship,Ronwillbefreetoconsiderwayshehashurtothers.Thoughnotasexualabuser,Ronhascausedotherspainjustashisparentscausedhimpain.Withthisawareness,RonwillbetterunderstandhisneedforGod’sgraciousredemptionandwillbefreedfromhisprisonofshame.

CounselorAandcounselorChavemuchincommon.Bothvalueandemphasizeawell-crafted,safetherapeuticrelationship.BothbelieveRonneedstimeandcomforttoexplorethelossesofhispast.Theyalsohaveoneimportantdifference:CounselorAbelievesRoncanbestreplacehisshamebyunderstandinghisangertowardhisabusers,whereascounselorCbelievesRoncanbestreplacehisshamewithasenseofempathyforhisabusersandbyworkingthroughhisgriefaboutthepast.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofSelf?

CounselorACounselorAneglectstheroleofconfessionincounseling.CounselorBemphasizesconfessionbutdoessoinanaggressivemannerthatemphasizespowermorethanhumility.CounselorChumblysupportsRon’sneedforconfessioninthecontextofahealingcounselingrelationship.

Usingtheschemepresentedinfigure5,counselorAwantstobringRontothepointwherehebelieves,“Iamokay.”CounselorAseesnoneedforconfessionorforgivenessbecauseRonistheonewhohasbeenvictimized.AfterseeingcounselorA,Ronmayfeelrelieffromhisdepression,buthissenseofidentitymaylackthehumilitythatcharacterizesthespirituallife.Ifdepressionisangerturnedinward,asSigmundFreudbelieved,thencounselorAwillhelpRonturnhisangeroutwardwhereitbelongs.Butthenwhat?Areabusesurvivorsdestinedforalifeofanger?EachtimeRonthinksofhisparents,hemayboilinsidewithanger.Hisangerfreeshimfromtheshamethathasdisabledhimforyearsandmayrepresentlegitimatepsychologicalprogress,buthestilllackstheempathy,insight,andhumilityoftruespirituality.

Ronmaycorrectlylooktohischildhoodabuseasanexplanationforwhatwentwronginhislife.Thetraumaofabuseinevitablyleavesemotionalscarsandpsychologicaldysfunction.ButwhatcanbesaidofRon’sownchoicesthathavehurthimselfandothers?Ron,likehisparents,wasdamagedbyapreviousgeneration,and,likehisparents,hehasmadechoicesthathurtthenextgeneration.YettheonlyconfessionthatcounselorAencouragesRontoconsideristhatofhisparents’sin.Thisapproachdoesnotproduceanaccuratesenseofself.Instead,itproducesanidentityofvictimizationthatnotonlyperpetuatesanger,pride,andbitternessbutalsoinhibitsinsight.

CounselorBCounselorBmakesnoneoftheseerrorsbutneglectshumility.Usingtheschemepresentedinfigure5,counselorBwantstobringRontothepointwherehebelieves,“Iamforgiven.”ThisisthepropergoalforChristiancounseling,butcounselorBmaynotaccomplishthegoalassuccessfullyasintended.ByminimizingtheimpactofchildhoodsexualabuseandconfrontingRonwithhispersonalsinofbitterness,counselorBignorestheeffectsofshameinRon’slife.Indeed,thisapproachmayaddtoRon’sshame.IfRoncompliesandappearstoimproveincounseling,itmaybedueonlytoRon’sdesiretopleaseandearnapprovalfromhiscounselor.IfRonconfesseshissinofbitternessandhiscounselorseemspleasedwithRon’sconfession,thenRonwillfeellessdepressed,andbothwillcallthecounselingsuccessful.Butisitreallysuccessful?DoesRonreallyfeelforgivenbyGod,ordoeshefeelokaybecausehehasearnedhiscounselor’sapproval?

CounselorB’sapproachresemblesthesacramentofpenancethattheReformersfoundobjectionable.Thecounselor,anagentofGod,hearstheconfessionofasinner,andthesinnerisgrantedforgiveness.Incenturiespast,thisarrangementgavethepriesttoomuchpower,powerthatultimatelycorruptedtheeffectivenessofthechurchandledtothereligiousrevoltwecalltheReformation.Inthiscase,however,counselorBcarriesevenmorepowerthanthepriestwhohearsconfessionbecausethecounselornotonlyacceptstheconfessionbutalsopointsoutthesin.ByteachingRonaboutthesinofbitternessandelicitingaconfessionandpenitentattitude,counselorBassumestheproblemissolved.Butthepowerdynamicinthecounselingrelationshipisoverlooked.IfRonhasconfessedtopleasehiscounselor,itisnotoutoftrueunderstandingandconviction.Confession,unlikeseekingapproval,requiresanhonestlookatoneself.

Itisamistaketoassumethatelicitingconfessionisaquickprocess.Manyhumanburdensareburiedbeneathyearsofpainandlayersofdefenseandwillbeunderstoodonlyinthecontextofasafecounselingrelationshipthathaslastedseveralweeksormonths.“Confessionscanbeviewedasamultilayeredreflectionofself.”266Bybeingconfrontive,counselorBmayelicitaninitialconfessionbutwillslamthedooronhonestself-explorationandfurtherdisclosure.

CounselorCCounselorChastherightidea.CounselorCbelievesthatmorethanjustadmittingpersonalsin,confessioninvolvesacknowledgingandgrapplingwithourhumanlimitationsandouracheforintimacywithGodandothers.Itistheconfessionoffaith,whichrequiresustohumblyacknowledgeourneedforGod,thatfreesusfromshame,bringsusclosetoagraciousRedeemer,andmakesusabletoconfessoursins.

Byprovidinganhonest,safecounselingenvironment,counselorChelpsRontoexplorehispastandpresentthoughtsandfeelings.RatherthanviewingRonastheproductofhisownselfishsin,counselorCseesRonasimmersedinthesamefloodofdepravityasallother

humans.Ronhasbeenviolatedbyothersandhaschosenhisownevil,yetthereishopeforRonifhecanseehisneedandreachbeyondhimselfforhelp.

CounselorCwantsRontocometoapointoffeelingforgivenbutnotjustforgivenforspecificpersonalsins.ThegoalisforRontorecognizehisneedforsomeonebeyondhimselfandtofeelloved,accepted,andforgiveninthemidstofgrowingrelationshipwithChrist.ThecounselorisnotmerelyteachingRonaboutforgivenessbutislivingouttheessentialqualityofhumilitythatgivesforgivenessmeaningandencourageshonestself-exploration.

EncouragingHonestSelf-Exploration

WhatIfThisHappened?

Duringonesession,Ronsighs,putshisheadbetweenhispalms,andannounces,“Ifeelsoworthless.Yeah,myparentsabusedme,butI’vedonesomebadthings,too.Ididn’tabusemykids,butIabandonedthem.Isthatanybetter?”Eachofthecounselorsdescribedherewouldresponddifferently.

CounselorA:“Ron,haven’tyoubeenhardenoughonyourself?Isitreallyyourselfyouareangrywith,orisitsomeoneelse?”

CounselorB:“You’reaskinganimportantquestion,Ron.Godisstirringinsideofyouandaskingyoutoanswer.HowdoyousupposeGodwouldhaveyouanswerthequestionyouareasking?”

CounselorC:“You’refeelingsurroundedbypain,Ron.Painforwhatothershavedonetoyou,painforwhatyouhavedonetoothers,painabouthowdifficultlifecanbe.”

WhereascounselorAusesRon’sstatementasachancetoexternalizeresponsibility,andcounselorBusesittoidentifysin,counselorCusesittoestablishempathyandencouragedeeperexplorationandsincereconfessionofneed.BothcounselorAandcounselorBclosethedooronfurtherself-explorationbyaskingforaspecificresponsefromRon.Incontrast,counselorCkeepsthedooropenbycommunicatingunderstandingandempathywithoutcallingforaspecificresponse.CounselorCmightcomefromanyofseveraltheoreticalpersuasionsthatvalueinsight—cognitive,psychodynamic,humanistic,familysystems,oranother—andiscommittedtoattitudesofhumilityandempathythatfreeRontoexploreandunderstandhisthoughtsandfeelings.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofNeed?

CounselorACounselorAcommunicates:“Youarenotasinnerbutavictimofsomeoneelse’ssin.Youareokay.”Aftercounseling,Ronmayfeelbetter,buthemayalsostrugglewiththenaggingdoubtsofunconfessedfailure.Adangerofexternalizingblameisthatclientssometimesstopconsideringtheirpersonalresponsibilitiesandinadequacies.Theimpulsestoconfessfeelingsofloneliness,isolation,andguiltthatbringclientstocounselingareeasilysmotheredbycounselorswhoinsisttheirclientsarevictimsofthepast.Clientslearntoconstructafacadeofshameresistancebutlackopportunitiestoexploretherealsourcesoftheirshamebecausetheircounselorsrefusetotakeconfessionsseriously.

CounselorBAttheotherextreme,whencounselorsencourageclientstointernalizeblame,psychopathologymayworsen.Ratherthanproducingasincereawarenessofneed,thismayproduceaprofoundsenseofhelplessnessandaddtofeelingsofshame.ThisisillustratedbycounselorB.Ronmaylearntoexpressremorseandexerciseasurface-levelformofconfession,buthehasnotyetexploredthedepthsandconsequencesofhischildhooddisappointmentandanger.Confessingisnotjustlistingoursins;itislettinganotherseewhowereallyare.RonisnotpreparedfortrueconfessionafterseeingcounselorBbecausehehimselfdoesnotyetfullyunderstandwhoheis.

CounselorCCounselorChelpsRonunderstandbothinternalandexternalattributionsforhiscurrentsituation.Hehasbeenhurtbypeopleandsituationsbeyondhiscontrol,andhehashurtothers.Likeeveryotherhuman,hehassinnedandhasbeensinnedagainst.Inacounselingcontextsuchasthis,clientsarefreedtounderstandthemselvesaccurately,topresentthemselvestoacaringcounselorwithoutfearofreprimandorridicule,andintheprocess,torecognizetheirneedforothers.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealingRelationship?Thoughthecounselingrelationshipisnotspirituallyredemptiveinitself,itmodelsourredemptiverelationshipwithChrist.InthecontextofChrist’sloveandgrace,wearefreedtounderstandourhumanlimitsandneedsandtoreachupwardforhelp.Itisnotourawarenessofsinthatcomesfirst;itisonlybyGod’sprevenientgrace(gracethatcomesbeforesalvation)thatweareabletoseeoursinandexperiencesalvation(seeEph.2:8-9).Gracecomesfirst,thenrecognitionofsin.Wearefreedtounderstandourweaknessesafter,notbefore,weexperiencegrace.ThisisthekindofrelationshipcounselorCattemptstoprovideRon.

ImaginethespiritualconsequencesifGodrelatedtousinawaysimilartotheway

counselorAorcounselorBdid.IfGodwerelikecounselorA,wewouldbesavedbecausewearegoodpeople.PerhapsGodwouldlineusup,frombesttoworst,andthenchooseadividingpoint.Thoseononesideareevil,abusivepeople,andthoseontheothersidearepowerlessvictims.Thosewhoareabusersshouldconfess,andthosewhoarevictimsshouldfeelangryattheabusers.Victimswillbeloved,andabuserswillbepunished.Doesthissoundright?Ofcoursenot.Goddoesnotrateourmoralityonabellcurveandthenaccepteveryonewhoisabovethemedian.Godrecognizesandgrievesoveroursinbutextendsgraceregardlessofourmerit.“Forthereisnodistinction,sinceallhavesinnedandfallshortofthegloryofGod;theyarenowjustifiedbyhisgraceasagift,throughtheredemptionthatisinChristJesus,whomGodputforwardasasacrificeofatonementbyhisblood,effectivethroughfaith.Hedidthistoshowhisrighteousness,becauseinhisdivineforbearancehehadpassedoverthesinspreviouslycommitted;itwastoproveatthepresenttimethathehimselfisrighteousandthathejustifiestheonewhohasfaithinJesus”(Rom.3:22-26).

IfGodwerelikecounselorB,ourrelationshipwithGodwoulddependonourcapacitytorecognizeandconfessspecificactsofpersonalsin.Christianfaithwouldmutatetolegalism,andwewouldallliveinfear.

Thankfully,Godlovesusfirst,thendrawsusintoarelationshipwhereweareabletoseethepervasiveeffectsofpersonalandoriginalsin.InthesafetyofGod’slovingarms,weareabletoseeourselveshonestly,confessourneedsandsinstoGod,andsavorthehealingofredemptivegrace.

Noneofuscanreplicatethisperfectlyinourcounselingrelationshipsorotherrelationships,butlikecounselorC,wecansetthisasourgoalforahealingrelationship.Theinterpersonalconnectionofcounseling,orofcaringcommunity,iswhatmakesconfessionbearable.267

FacingtheChallenges

Challenge1:MovingfromTwoAreasofCompetencetoThreeMostofustrainedinpsychologyhavelearnedaparticularsetofvaluesregardingremorseandconfession.Wehavelearnedtolistencarefullytoourclients’guiltfeelingsandself-condemningthoughts,thentohelpthemreinterprettheirstorytorelievefeelingsofshameandoftentoexternalizeresponsibilityfortheirbadexperiencesandfeelings.Thisisusefulwithmanyclients.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Sincechildhood,Susanhasblamedherselfforallthebadinherlife.Hermother,saddledwiththeexcessiveresponsibilityoffourchildrenandtwojobs,oftenscreamedatSusan,toldherthatshewasworthlessandthatsheshouldneverhavebeenborn.Susaninternalizedthosewordsandnowberatesherselffrequently,remindingherselfthatsheisworthlessandwouldbebetteroffdead.

Acompetentcounselor,Christianorotherwise,willhelpSusanbekindertoherself.Acognitivetherapistwillhelpherchangeherself-talktobelesscondemningandmoreaffirming.AbehavioristmighthelpherfindsuccessexperiencesandencourageSusantorewardhersuccesseswithpositiveself-statements.ApsychodynamictherapistwillhelpSusanunlocktheshameofthepastinordertounderstandthedifferencebetweenhermother’swordsandherownviewofherself.Ahumanistictherapistwillprovideanurturing,safe,acceptingrelationshipwhereSusancanlearntobenicertoherself.Alltheseapproacheshavemerit,andanywillprobablyhelpSusanfeelbetterandseeherselfmoreaccurately.

Unfortunately,thepopularizationofpsychologyhasresultedingoodideasbeingoverappliedandmisused.CounselorsneedtofreeclientslikeSusanfromtheirshame,andsometimesweneedtofreepeoplefromexcessiveburdensofguilt.ButtoooftenwehavealsotriedtofreepeoplefromappropriateguiltandfromacknowledgingtheirneedforGodandothers.Theresultisapopularpsychologythatpromotesindependenceandself-sufficiencywhileitunderminesthespirituallife.Thoughmanycompetentpsychotherapists,Christianandnon-Christian,donotaccepttheprevailingdogmaofguiltlessindividualism,popularpsychologybookshavesaturatedsociety.Asaresult,manypeoplehavecometoassociatepsychologywithirresponsiblefreedomandself-centeredness.

IfSusanreadsapopularpsychologybookinsteadofseeingacompetenttherapist,shemayridherselfofshamebytakingontheidentityofaself-sufficient,angryvictimofpastabusers.Susanneedstobefreedofhershame,butnotfromallfeelingsofguiltbecauseaccurateguiltleadstogreaterself-understandingandushersusintoahealingprocessofconfession,remorse,forgiveness,andredemption.

Competenceinthespirituallifecallsustobecriticsofmanycontemporarypopularpsychologyperspectivesandinvitesusbacktotheancientprocessofacknowledginghumanneed,confessing,andfindingforgivenessinthecontextofcaringcommunity.SaintAugustineknewthathealingwasfoundnotinself-centerednessbutinconfessionandseekingGod’sfavor:“Acceptthesacrificeofmyconfessionsfromtheministryofmytongue,whichThouhasformedandstirreduptoconfessuntoThyname.HealThouallmybones,andletthemsay,OLord,whoislikeuntoThee?”268Spirituallysensitivecounselingrequiresustoaccept,evenencourage,ourclients’desirestocryoutforhelpinthemidstof

theirneed.Cryingout,confessingneed,isavitalpartofthehealingprocess.

Challenge2:BlurredPersonal-ProfessionalDistinctionsInthecaseofRon,counselorBandcounselorCwereeachcommittedtohelpingRoncometoapointofhealthyconfession,butonlycounselorCwaseffective.Whatwasthedifference?Humility.Humilityisaproductofpersonaltraining,notprofessionalexpertise.Christiancounselorswhopersonallypracticethedisciplineofconfessiontrainthemselvesinhumilityandbecomemoreeffectiveinthecounselingoffice.

Christiancounselorsmayexercisethepersonaldisciplineofconfessioninatleasttwoways.First,privateconfessiontoGodhelpsusrecognizeourcontinualneedforspiritualsustenance.Thisinvolvesconfessionofsin,anditalsoinvolvesongoingconfessionoffaith.Weoughttoremindourselveseveryday,everyopportunitywehave,thatweneedwisdomandstrengthandmercybecauseourhumanabilitiesarelimitedandtaintedbysin.Inthiscontinualconfession,weremindourselvesthatweareweakandthatwelongforGod.Wewouldprefertobestrong,butwearenot.TheapostlePaulaskedGodthreetimestoremoveanaggingproblem,buttheproblempersisted.Paul’ssubsequentconfessionofneedhasbeenquotedmanytimesthroughtheinterveningcenturies:“So,Iwillboastallthemoregladlyofmyweaknesses,sothatthepowerofChristmaydwellinme.ThereforeIamcontentwithweaknesses,insults,hardships,persecutions,andcalamitiesforthesakeofChrist;forwheneverIamweak,thenIamstrong”(2Cor.12:9-10).

Second,wecanconfessourneedsandstrugglestooneanother.Althoughpersonalneedscanbediscussedinthecontextoffriendships,fellowshipgroups,andtrustingmarriages,professionaldifficultiesoftencannotbedisclosedinthesecirclesbecauseofconfidentialityconcerns.Thus,manycounselorsseekhelpintheformofpeerconsultation,clinicalsupervision,orpersonaltherapy.269

Ascounselors,ourpersonalpracticeofconfessionaffectsourprofessionalwork.Ashumblingasitistoseekoutpersonaltherapyortodiscusscounselingfailureswithaclinicalsupervisor,theseriskyactsofdisclosurehelpusunderstandtheroleofconfessioninemotionalandspiritualhealingandmakeusmoreeffectivecounselors.

Challenge3:ExpandedDefinitionsofTrainingHowdocounselorstrainthemselvesforconfessionincounseling?Theanswertothisquestiondependsonhowoneanticipatesusingconfessionincounseling.

ConfessionasaSpecificCounselingTechniqueSomecounselorsmaywishtouseconfessionasadeliberatetechniqueincounseling.Forexample,whenworkingwithcouples,itmaybehelpfultotaketimeduringoneormorecounselingsessionsforbothspousestoconfesstheirregretsandshortcomingstoeachother.Also,participantsinmanytwelve-steprecoveryprogramslearntoconfessmisdeedstothosetheyhavehurtinthepast.

MostChristiancounselorsdonotfrequentlyuseconfessionasaspecificcounselingtechnique.InarecentsurveyamongmembersoftheChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies(CAPS),respondentsreportedusinginstructioninrepentanceorconfessionwithapproximatelyone-thirdoftheirclients.270AndwhenChristiancounselingtrainingprogramdirectorsweresurveyed,confessionwasfoundtohavelittleornoemphasisinmostcurricula.271

ThoughChristiancounselorsusespecificinstructioninconfessionwithonlyone-thirdoftheirclients,thisneednotbecauseforalarm.Manyclientscomewithproblemsthatareunrelatedoronlymarginallyrelatedtoguiltfeelings.Toinsistonrepentanceorconfessionmightderaileffectivecounselingintheseinstances.Also,manyChristiancounselorsmayvalueconfessionincounselingbutdonotattempttoreduceconfessiontospecificcounselingtechniques.

ConfessionasaPostureforLifeSomeviewsofconfession,includingtheonepresentedinthischapter,donotlendthemselvestospecificcounselingtechniques.Instead,confessionmaybeviewedasaneffectivepostureforlifeandnotjustasexpressionsofremorseofferedinthecounselingoffice.Fromthisperspective,counselinghelpspeoplelearntolivehumbly,admittingtheirweaknessestoanotheranddrawingsupportfromasafecounselingrelationshipandfromknowingGod.Counseling,becauseofitsconfessionalnature,givesopportunityforclientstolearnhumility,whatAndrewMurraycallsthe“rootofeveryvirtue.”Atbest,confessionbecomesawayoflife,ahabitofholiness.

Butthispresentsaproblem:Counselorscannotsimplywalkintotheofficeannouncingthattheirclientsneedtobemorehumbleandneedtoconfesstheirsins.Theveryactofmakingsuchanannouncementmodelsarroganceandsuppresseshonestself-exploration.Sohowcancounselorstrainthemselvestopromotehonestyandhumilityinthecounselingoffice?Bybecominghumblethemselves.

Christiancounselors,likeclients,arehealthiestwhentheyviewconfessionandhumilityasessentialcomponentsofspiritualandemotionalmaturity.Whilesomecounselorspracticeautonomously,seeminglycertainoftheirchoicesandtechniques,otherspracticewithhumility,seekingadvicefromcolleagues,prayingforguidance,andevenadmittinguncertainty.Thistypeofconfessionalpostureisdifficulttoteachintheclassroom,butitcan

nonethelessbeincludedaspartofcounselortraining.IntheWheatonDoctorofPsychologyprogram,studentsmeetinsmallgroupseachweek

todiscusstheirclinicalworkwithafacultypreceptor.272Clinicalfacultymembersalsomeettogethertodiscusstheirprivateclinicalwork.Ineachofthesegroupsweaskquestionsandconfrontourfeelingsofuncertainty.ShouldIreferthisclienttoanothercounselor?AmIbeingsensitivetotheculturalcontextofmyclient?WhatmighthappenifIprayaloudwiththisclient?HowdoIdealwithmyfeelingsofangerorattractiontowardthisclient?WhatshouldIdowhenIdon’tknowwhattosayinthemiddleofacounselingsession?Aretherescripturalprinciplesthatshouldbeappliedinthissituation?Whathappenswhenclientsdon’tgetbetter?Facultydonothavealltheanswerstothesequestions,butweareabletoencouragestudentstokeeprefiningthequestions,findanswerswhenavailable,andmaintainapostureofauthenticityandconfession.Aftertrainingiscompleted,counselorsarewisetocontinueaskingthesequestions.Findingagroupofpeerswhoarewillingtoadoptaconfessionalpostureregardingtheirworkisausefulwaytofindsupportandbuildacommunityofcounselorswhohelponeanother.Wheneverwearetemptedtobecomplacentandsatisfiedwithourknowledgeormaturity,weshouldrememberthewisewordsofThomasàKempis:“Ifitseemethtotheethatthouknowestmanythings,andunderstandestthemwell,knowalsothattherearemanymorethingswhichthouknowestnot.Benothigh-minded,butratherconfessthineignorance.”273

Challenge4:ConfrontingDominantViewsofMentalHealthInonesense,confessionisquitecompatiblewithcontemporaryviewsofmentalhealth.Theessenceofcounselingisconfession.Clientscastoffmasksanddisclosetocounselorssecretstheyhavelockedawayforyears.Withconfessioncomesemotionalrelease:feelingsofguiltandremorse,andtears.Afterconfession,clientsoftenfeelrelievedandclean.274Unlikethetopicsdiscussedinpreviouschapters(Scripture,prayer,andconfrontingsin),confessionisseenbymostcounselors,regardlessoftheirreligiouspersuasions,asavaluablepartofcounseling.

AretheredifferencesbetweentheprevailinguseofconfessionincounselingandaChristianunderstandingofconfession?Isuspecttherearemoresimilaritiesthandifferences,butonepotentiallyimportantdifferenceistheoneshowninfigure5.Whereasmostformsofcounselingareconfessionalinnature,theoutcomeofconfessionisdifferentinChristiancounseling.Redemptionintraditionalcounselingisfoundinthecounselingrelationshipitself.InChristiancounseling,wetrytoliveoutaredemptiverelationshipwhileservingagreaterRedeemer.Onepointstoward“Iamokay”;theotherpointstoward“Iamforgiven.”

WhatIfThisHappened?

Rogerconfessesasecrettohiscounselor.Whenhewassixteen,hescreamedathismother,“You’realwayscomplainingabouthowsickyouare,butyoudon’tcareaboutanyoneelse!IwishIcouldjusthaveanormalmother.”Shediedofcongestiveheartfailurethreedayslater.

Roger’scounselorlistenscarefully,allowsRogertoexpresshispainandgrief,andempathizeswithhowdifficulthismother’sdeathmusthavebeen.Rogerfeelsasenseofrelieffromtheshameandsadnessthathavehauntedhimformanyyears.Duringthefollowingsessions,Rogerfeelsbetterandrapidlymovestowardtermination.Rogerstartedcounselingbelievingthathewasanungrateful,evil,worthlessperson.Heendscounselingbelievingthatthoughheregretssomethingsabouthispast,heisokayandworthwhile.Rogerhasseenacompetentcounselorandfeelsbetterasaresult.

CompetentChristiancounselingmightlookverysimilartothecounselingRogerreceivedinthisexample.AChristiancounselorwouldalsolistenempathicallyandintentlytoRoger’sconfession,allowhimtoexpressfeelingsofshameandremorse,andavoidjudgmentalorharshstatements.Butinthesessionsthatfollowtheconfession,thecounselingmaymoveinaslightlydifferentdirection.ThefirstcounselormovesRogertoward“Iamokay,”whiletheChristiancounselormovesRogertoward“Iamforgiven.”Thesetwoexamplesillustratethedifference.

Example1

Roger:IfeelgladthatItoldyouaboutmymomafewweeksago,andIhaveexperiencedalotofreliefduringthepastweeks.Ireallyfeelalotbetter.ButsometimesIstartthinkingaboutitagain,andIjustfeeloverwhelmedwithshame(tearsforminhiseyes).

Counselor:Whatdoyousupposethenextstepis?Whatwillittakeforyoutofeelokayaboutyourself?

Fromhere,thesessionisfocusedonhealthyformsofself-talktohelprelievetheshameRogerfeels.Forexample,“Thatwasalongtimeago.I’msorryaboutwhatIsaid,butthereisnousewallowinginguilt.Momwouldwantmetogetonwithmylife.”

Example2

Roger:IfeelgladthatItoldyouaboutmymomafewweeksago,andIhaveexperiencedalotofreliefduringthepastweeks.Ireallyfeelalotbetter.ButsometimesIstartthinkingaboutitagain,andIjustfeeloverwhelmedwithshame(tearsforminhiseyes).

ChristianCounselor:Whatdoyousupposethenextstepis?Whatwillittakeforyoutofeelforgiven?

Fromhere,thesessionisfocusedonRoger’sspirituallifeandhowheviewsGodasharshandpunitive,justasheperceivedhisfather.Heandhiscounselorarrangesomehomeworkassign-mentsusingvisualization,Scripturememory,andself-talkthathelphimseeGodmoreaccurately.

Inonecase,thecounselingrelationshipisanendinitself,andintheothercase,thecounselingrelationshippointsRogertowardacloserconnectionwithGod.Notallclientsareinterestedinconsideringtheirspirituallivesincounseling;butforthosewhoare,Christiancounselorscanhelpthemexperienceforgivenessaswellasrelieffromshame.

Challenge5:EstablishingaScientificBaseUnlikesomeothertopicsconsideredinthisbook,confessionandtheroleofappropriateguiltinmentalhealthappeartobeofgrowingscientificinterest.Thestudiesthathavebeenpublishedtodate,manyofwhichwerereviewedearlierinthischapter,suggestthatconfessionpromoteshealthandthatsomeformsofguiltarehelpful.Furthermore,peoplewhoaredeeplycommittedtotheirreligiousvaluesappearmorelikelythanotherstoexperiencehealthyformsofguiltandconfession.MountingscientificevidencesuggeststhatChristiancounselorsshouldvalueconfessionaspartofthecounselingprocess.

Challenge6:DefiningRelevantEthicalStandardsAnimportantethicalprincipleforhealth-careprofessionals,datingbacktotheHippocraticoath,isto“treatpeoplewithrespectfortheirdignityashumanbeings.”275Christiancounselors,andallhealthprofessionals,strivetotreatpeoplewithkindnessandcourtesy.

MostChristiancounselorsaregoodaboutintroducingafriendly,humantouchintotheircounselingwork.Inarecentnationalsurveyof500Christiancounselors,acolleagueandIfoundthat94percentuseself-disclosure,atleastrarely,intheircounselingwork;98percentcallclientsbyfirstnames;and95percenthaveclientsaddressthembyfirstname,atleastonoccasion.Thoughsomeardentpsychodynamictherapistsbelieveanytouchisthreateningto

aclient,99percentofChristiancounselorsdisagreeandarewillingtoshakeclients’hands.276Thisappearstobegoodnews:Christiancounselorsarecommittedtotreatingpeoplewithfriendlinessandkindness.

Thoughthenewsisgood,viewingconfessionasavitalpartoftherapyintroducesatleasttworisksthatChristiancounselorsoughttoconsider.First,ifconfessionisviewedonlyasadmittingpersonalsin,itisdifficultforacounselortomaintainhumilityand,thus,arespectfortheclient’sdignity.Counselorswhobelievetheirjobistohelpclientsidentifyandrepentofspecificactsofdisobedienceareplacingthemselvesinapositionofarbitraryauthoritywherearroganceisdifficulttoescape.Arroganceandrespectforaclient’sdignitydonotgowelltogether.Itseemsbettertoviewconfessionasalifestylethatispracticedbyacounselorandlearnedbyclientsbecauseofthecollaborativenatureofcounseling.Confessionfromthisperspectiveismoreoftenaconfessionofgeneralneedthanaconfessionofspecificsin.Counselorandclienttogetheracknowledgethelimits,weaknesses,andneedsassociatedwithbeinghuman,andlookforstrengthinChristianfaithandcommunity.

Second,somecounselorsmayattempttomodelhumilityandconfessionthroughexcessiveself-disclosure.Byadvocatinganattitudeofhumilityandageneralpostureofconfession,Idonotmeantoimplythatcounselorsshouldrelatepersonalincidentsofweaknessandfailuretoclients.Asdiscussedbrieflyinchapter5,toomuchself-disclosureonthepartofthecounselorcanmuddleandinterferewiththecounselingprocess.Thisrolereversalofthecounselor-clientrelationshipisinevitablyharmfulandisoneofthepredictorsofsexualizedcounselingrelationships.277

Self-talk,notself-disclosure,isthemeansbywhichacounselorcanbecomehumbleanddevelopapostureofconfession.Throughoutacounselingsession,wetalktoourselves,tellingourselveshowwearedoingandhowtheclientisdoing.Anattitudeofconfessionrequiresustoremindourselvesofourownweaknessesandvulnerabilities.Asclientsdescribetheirfeelingsoffear,anger,shame,guilt,orloneliness,weremindourselvesthatlifeisastruggleandthatweallarevulnerabletopain.Asclientsconfessmistakes,weremindourselvesthatGodhasdealtgraciouslywithusforpastmistakesandthatwecanbeministersofthatgracetoourclients.Thisinwardattitudeofconfessionandhumilityhelpscreateacounselingenvironmentofrespectfortheclient’sdignity.

SummaryBlaisePascalwroteintheseventeenthcentury:“IfmanwasnotmadeforGod,whyisheonlyhappyinGod?IfmanwasmadeforGod,whyishesoopposedtoGod?”278Thisobservationisanaptsummaryofthecontemporarypracticeofconfessionincounseling.Ononehand,thereseemstobeaninternallongingforGod,whatPascaldescribedasa“God-shapedvacuum.”Thislongingisseeninourhumandesiretoconfessourmisdeedsandour

needforforgiveness.Tobesure,thislonginghasbecomecompletelysecularizedforsomepeople,eventothepointthatitisnotrecognizedasGod-directed.ThoughthechangesoftheReformation,theEnlightenment,andpostmodernismhavetakenthepracticeofconfessionawayfromtheorganizedchurchandturneditovertopsychotherapists,itistheinner,God-givenurgeforconfessionandforgivenessthatmakesbothpenanceandtherapyeffective.

Ontheotherhand,wehaveopposedGodinourpracticeofconfession.SomepeoplehavesecularizedtheurgeforconfessionbyresistingGod’scalltohumilityandcaringcommunity.Psychotherapistsdoimportantwork,butwithoutreligioussubstancetheycannotreplacethespiritualnecessityofconfessingourneedforGod.Others,oftenChristians,haveopposedGodmoresubtly,exhibitingpersonalprideandarrogancewhilecallingclientstohumilityandconfession.

SpirituallysensitiveconfessioninChristiancounselingcallsustoaplaceofhumilityandcompassion.Allofus,clientsandcounselorstogether,areneedypeoplecryingtoagraciousGodformercy.Confessiongivesvoicetoourcriesandhopeforforgiveness.

UponReflection

Thischapterstrikesmeasoneofthemostimportantinthebook,inpartbecauseitspeakstowhoweare,thosewesitwithinthecounselingoffice,andtheroleswetakewheninteractingwithoneanother.Itremindsmetolisten—reallylisten—tomyclientsandtoallowthemthedignityofexploringtheirstruggleswithoutmyminimizingordismissingthem.

Oneofmyfailuresasacounselorpertainstothistopicofconfession.Amancameforhelpwithdepression,andIhelpedhimfeelbetter,ascounselorsdo.AfewyearslaterIlearnedthatmyformerclienthadsexuallyabusedhisdaughterthroughoutherchildhood.Evennow,yearslater,thisstoryburnsinthepitofmystomachandcausesmetowonderhowoftenIhavefailedclientswhocametomehopingtotelltheirstoriesandleftwithafewpsychologicaltricksfor“bettermentalhealth.”

InhisNewTestamentepistle,Jameswrites,“Notmanyofyoushouldbecometeachersinthechurch,forwewhoteachwillbejudgedmorestrictly.Indeed,weallmakemanymistakes.Forifwecouldcontrolourtongues,wewouldbeperfectandcouldalsocontrolourselvesineveryotherway”(James3:1-2,NLT).IfJameswerewritingtoday,IwonderwhetherhemightalsoaddawarningaboutbecomingChristiancounselors.Weguidepeopletowardself-understandingandtruth,orperhapsawayfromit.MayGodgranteachofuswisdomandgraceaswepursuethiscalling.

Inthisupdate,Ibeginbydescribingtheimportanceofconfessionasseenthrougha

recentdoctoraldissertation.ThenIdiscusscounselingasmoralphilosophyandcounselingasintegration,andconcludebyconsideringacyclicalrelationalviewofconfessionincounseling.

ARecentStudyofConfessionSomeofthetopicsIcoveredinthisbook,suchasforgiveness,havebeenstudiedextensivelysince1996.Confessionhasnot.Onlyahandfulofstudieshavebeenreported,perhapsbecausecounselorsandpsychologistsaresomewhathesitanttoconnectwhattheydointhecounselingofficewiththereligioustraditionofconfession.Forthosewhowanttoknowmoreaboutthescientificstudyofconfession,sparseasitis,IrecommendanarticlebyAaronMurray-Swankandcolleagues,listedasadditionalreadingattheendofthisupdate.

IrecentlysupervisedadissertationbyAngelaMcCormick—nowDr.McCormick—onthetopicofconfessionofsin.279Angie’sfindingswereintriguingandremindedmehowimportantitcanbetoletpeoplespeakoftheirstrugglesandfailings.Mostofthepeopleinherstudyrememberedwrongsthathappenedyearsago,somemorethantwenty-fiveyearsinthepast,whichsuggeststhatmemoriesofguiltandregretaresignificantandenduring.Confessingtheirremorse,toGodortoanotherperson,broughtpeopleasenseofreliefandthankfulnessandseemedtopermanentlyaltertheirself-perceptions.TheytalkedabouthavinganenhancedunderstandingofthemselvesandtheirweaknessesandaboutbeingabletoacceptforgivenessandlovefromGodandothers.Thememoriesofwrongstheyhadcommittedorofwrongsothershaddonetothemwerereleasedwiththeconfession;theynolongerfeltboundanddefinedbythesinsoftheirpast.

CounselingasMoralPhilosophyAsIemphasizedinthe1996versionofthischapter,counselingisamoralactivity.Somewouldsuggestthatwedovalues-freework,simplysittingnonjudgmentallywithpeopleastheyseektounderstandthemselvesandtheirworldbetter.ThisiswhyFreudhadhispatientslieonacouchandthensatoutoftheirview—sothathecouldcreateapristine,values-freeenvironmenttoallowhispatientstodotheirownpersonalexploration.Freudhadsomethingsright,butthiswemustquestion.

BothAngie’sdissertationandmyremorseovermyformerclientremindmethatthisworkwedoisfarfromvaluesneutral.Knowinglyorunknowingly,counselorsguidetheirclientstowardawayofliving,andifthisthoughtdoesn’tterrifyus,itatleastdeservesourcarefulattention.Everytimewespeakorremainsilentinthecounselingoffice,wecommunicatesomethingabouthowlifeisorhowitoughttobe.WhatdoIcommunicatewithmywords,mysilence,myfinancialpolicies,myfacialexpressionsandgesturesaboutthewaylifeoughttobelived?HowthoroughlyChristianismyunderstandingofthegood

life,andtowhatextentdoIcommunicatethesevaluestomyclients?Likeitornot,whenwesitwithourclients,wearepractitionersofmoralphilosophy.

Thecoreofmoralphilosophyinvolvesunderstandingvirtueinthecontextofourworldview.AsaChristian,Ireturnagainandagaintoatime-honored,three-dimensionalworldview:creation,fall,andredemption.Ialludedtocreationinthechapter2updateandtotheFallinthechapter3update.You’llfindsomeofmythoughtsaboutredemptioninthechapter8update.ThroughalltheserunsthevitalChristianvirtueofconfession.Confessioninvolvesseeingourselvesasbelovedcreatures,madeintheveryimageofGod(imagoDei).Italsoinvolvesrecognizingourfrailtyasfallenhumanspronetowoundandbewounded.Finally,itinvolvesacknowledgingGod’spersistentdesiretobringuslife—abundantlife—inthemidstofourstrugglesandvictories,ourangstandourhope.

Whenconfessionoccurredwithapriestinaconfessionalbooth,itmayhavefocusedprimarilyonone’ssinsandmisdeeds—atleastthat’swhatIseemtohavelearnedfromHollywooddepictions.Thatsometimeshappensincounseling,too,butweneedabiggerunderstandingofconfession.Confessionisnottalkingmerelyabouttransgressionsbutalsoaboutthelargerissuesofcreation,fall,andredemption.Forsomeclients,thegreatestmomentoftriumphincounselingcomeswhentheyareabletosetasidetheirshameandconfessthattheyaredeeplylovedbyGod.Forothersthatmomentcomeswhentheyareabletoconfesshowdeeplywoundedtheyhavebeenbyanotherperson,whohasviolatedtheminsometerribleway.SometimesitinvolvesconfessingthatGodisstillgood,evenwhenlifeseemsdismalanduncertain.Inthisbiggersense,confessionisagreeingtoseeoneselfandothersinlightofthislargerChristianworldview.Confessioninvolvesadmittingwhoweareandwhowearenot,andhumblyacceptingboth.

Inthechapter5updateIdescribedhowIamlearningtoseesinmoreasarelationalwoundthanmerelyasforensicviolation.Seeninthislight,confessionentailsacknowledging—maybeevenproclaiming—ourconditionasbroken,fallen,needypeople,becausewearefinallysafeenoughtodoso.Whenweseeourselvesasrecipientsofthesustaining,abiding,redeemingloveofChrist,wecanaffordtobehonestabouteverydimensionofourselves.Wenolongerhavetoshrinkinshameorpretendweareperfectlygood,becauseweareprofoundlylovedinstead.

Jesustoldaparableinwhichareligiousleaderandataxcollectorarebothinahouseofworship.ThereligiousleaderrecountsallhisgooddeedswhilethetaxcollectorconfesseshisshortcomingsandbegsGodformercy.280Jesuscallsustobethetaxcollectorsintheparable,askingGodformercy,notsomuchbecausewefearGod’sangerbutbecauseweyearnfortheshalomofrestoredrelationship.ThisbecomesthecontextforChristiancounseling.ItisaplacetoyearnforEden,toseekwholenessinrelationtoourjustandgraciousGod,tospeak(confess)one’slifestory,andtodiscovertheunexploredaspectsofcreation,fall,andredemption.

WhatIregretsodeeplyaboutthemanIsawyearsagowhonevercouldspeakofhisterriblesinisthatIfailedtocommunicatethebreadthanddepthofGod’sloveasIsatwiththisman.Wecannotconfesssinwhenwedonotseethebiggernarrative,theredemptivemoralframeworkinwhichwelive,butoncewebegintoseethepurposesofGod,wecanspeakthetruthaboutourfailingsandstrugglesandlearntorestmoreonGod’scharacterthanonourown.

CounselingasIntegrationOneofthegreatjoysofbeinganeducatorisseeingthe“lightscomeon”inthelivesofstudents.Studentstypicallybeginourdoctoralprogramwonderinghowtomakecounselingmoreintegrative.Thisisagoodgoal,andIhopetheyfindtheirtraininghelpfulinthisregard.Butthebiggergoalformeistohelpstudentsseethatcounselingisintegrative.It’snotjustamatterofsayingastrategicprayerorholdingcertainmoralstandardsasacounselor;itisalsoaboutthedeepthemesofhumanunderstandingandinteractionthatemergeinacounselingofficejustassurelyastheyemergeinaprayermeetingoraworshipservice.SometimesIwonderifthishappensevenmoreinacounselingofficebecauseinourfaithcommunitieswehavesometimesdealtwithsininashamingwayandcausedpeopletohidemorethandiscoverwhotheyareinChrist.

Irecentlyreceivedane-mailfromastudentwhoisnearingtheendofhisdoctoraltraining,inwhichhewrote,inpart,

WhatIhavebeenmullingoverforsometimeinmymindisbynomeansanattempttoenvelopconfessioninpsychotherapy,orviceversa.Instead,itisawaytoopenthedialoguebetweentwodisciplinesthatfortoolonghavegrownapart.

...DareIsaythatpsychotherapycanbearedemptiveandsacredprocess?

...Whenformalconfessionwasdiscardedandpsychologicaltreatmentsdemonized,Christianswereleftwithfewopportunitiestosafelyandconfidentiallyexploretheintra-psychic.Tosomedegree,thismaybewhylifecoaching,spiritualguidanceandbehavioral,solution-focusedtherapieshavebecomesoprolific.Confessionisnotdoneinisolation,butinthepresenceofanother,withanother.Therelationshipisreparative.

Inhise-mail,Iseelightscomingon.Hereisamanwhoonceaskedallthetypicalquestionsabouthowtodointegrationinpsychotherapy,andnowheisseeingthatsomethingaboutpsychotherapyitselfisintegrative.ConfessionisnotsimplyaChristiancomponenttomixin

withstandardcounselingtheory.Counselingisbyitsverynatureintegrative,inpartbecauseofitsconfessionaltone.Perhapsmystudentisrightaboutwhyallsortsofcounselinghavegrownsorapidlyinrecentyears—becausepeopleyearnforaplacetobeknown,tobeabletotellthepartsoftheirstoriesthattheyhaveneverspokenbefore.

ACyclicalRelationalViewofConfessionThroughoutthesechapterupdatesIhaveemphasizedarelationalperspectivemorethanIdidin1996.ThisreflectsmygrowingunderstandingofcounselingandChristiantheology,anditinfluenceseverytopicaddressedinthisbook.

Confessionisnotsimplycognitiveorforensic;itisnotjustadmittingwhatwehavedone.ConfessioninvolvesunderstandingourselvesinrelationtooneanotherandtoGod.ThroughouttheOldTestamentweseeGodcallawaywardpeoplebackintorelationship,alwaysaskingtheIsraelitestorecognizetheirrebellionandrepent.Weseearelationalcycle,withIsraelrebellingandrepenting,overandover.

Soalsoineffectivecounseling,confessioninvolvescomingtoaplaceofunderstandingtherelationalrolesweplay,oftenoverandover.WhenIthinkofmyformerclientandhisinabilitytoconfesshissininoursessionstogether,Iwishpartlythathecouldhavejustcomecleanandadmittedhissin,butIwishevenmorethathecouldhaveseenthecyclicalnatureofhisrelatingtoothers.Itistruenotonlythatheabusedhisdaughterbutalsothathisactionsalmostcertainlyreflectawayofrelatingthatwilltarnishotherrelationshipsaswell.Sexualabuseisamisappropriationofpower,awayofusinganothertopleaseoneself.Unlesshehascometounderstandthiswayofrelating,hehasgoneontoharmothersbymisusingpower,evenifhehasnotdonesoinsexualways.

Cyclicalrelationalpatternsarenotlimitedtochildabusers.Onepersonacquiescestoanotherwithoutevenassertingacontraryopinionandyetinwardlyresentstheother.Anotherpersonhidesinshamewithoutlettingothersgetclose.Someoneelsedrawscloseinfriendshipbutthenrunsawayassoonasthefirsttroubleemerges.Allofushavewaysofrelatingtooneanother,forgoodandforill.Counselingofteninvolveshelpingpeopleunderstandtheircyclesofrelating,givingthemopportunitytoconfessthesepatternsinthecontextofasafe,confiding,therapeuticrelationship.

FinalThoughtsAtagefifty-two,myjointsstillallowmetoplaybasketballonceortwiceaweek.Havingplayedforalmostthirtyyearsnow,Irecognizethatbasketballisfirstagameofvision.Thebestplayersarenotalwaysthosewiththebestskillsbutthosewhohaveanabilitytoseeothersonthecourt.

Inasimilarway,counselingisaboutvision,aboutseeingwhereeachofusisinthe

contextofalargermetanarrative.Christiancounselorsaremoralphilosophers,helpingpeopleseethemselvesinthecontextofcreation,fall,andredemption.EffectivecounselingisnotsomuchamatterofgettingpeopletoadmittheirsinasitistoseethemselvesasbelovedsinnersinanenduringrelationshipwithGodandothers.Thismaybetheessenceofconfession—feelingsafeenoughtotellthetruth.

AcknowledgmentThankstoRobynHoneycuttforhelpingmewiththischapterupdate.Robynhasbeenapartofcounselingministriesinherchurchforanumberofyearsandisnowapproachingtheendofherdoctoraltraininginclinicalpsychology.

AdditionalReadingAaronB.Murray-Swank,KellyM.McConnell,andKennethI.Pargament,“UnderstandingSpiritualConfession:AReviewandTheoreticalSynthesis,”MentalHealth,Religion,&Culture10(2007):275–291.

BibliographyMcCormick,AngelaG.,andMarkR.McMinn(August,2009).Isconfessionperceivedasgoodforthesoul?PosterpresentedattheannualconventionoftheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation.Toronto,Ontario.

7

ForgivenesswrittenwithKatherynRhoadsMeek

Ifthehumanbodywerenotcapableofrepairingitself,bythetimewereachedadulthood,eachofuswouldbeanuglymassofabrasions,bruises,incisions,andinfections.Fortunately,eachmosquitobite,scrape,andinjuryishealedbyasophisticatedphysiologicalrepairsystemthatrestoresustohealth.

Similarly,iftherewerenowaytorepairinjuredinterpersonalrelationships,eachofuswouldhavealonglistofenemies.Peopleonthelistwouldincludeboththosewhohavetreateduspoorlyandthosewehavehurtwithinsensitivewordsandactions.Fortunately,aswithourphysicalbodies,wehavebeengraciouslygrantedaninterpersonalhealingmechanismsothatwedonothavetodevelopsuchalist.ForgivenessisGod’sgift,modeledperfectlyintheworkofJesusChristandreflecteddimlybutfrequentlyinhumaninteractions.

Butthereisanimportantdifference.Physiologicalhealingisautonomicandeffortless;ourbodydoestheworkinthebackgroundofconsciousness.Interpersonalhealing,incontrast,usuallyrequiresdeliberatework,consciouseffort,andoftenextraordinarycourage.Theworkofforgivenessisarduousanddifficult,andcounselorsareoftencalledonforhelp.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Ms.Hurtseesacounselortohelpherdealwithconsequencesofchildhoodsexualabuse.Afterastrongtherapeuticrelationshiphasbeenbuilt,sheoffershercounselorsomeofhermemories,horrificstoriesofbeingforcedtohavesexualintercourseduringherearlyteenageyears.Herabuser,anuncle,stilllivesinthesametownanddesirestohavearelationshipwithMs.Hurt.Ms.Hurthashadnocontactwithhimforthreeyears.

CounselorsencountermanyclientslikeMs.Hurtandfaceanumberofcomplexquestionsrelatedtosituationslikethese.ShouldMs.Hurtbeencouragedtoforgiveheruncle?Shouldherangerbeencouraged?IsreconciliationanappropriategoalforMs.Hurtandheruncle?ShouldMs.Hurtseekcivilorcriminalrestitution,orshouldsheatleastaskthatherunclepayforcounseling?

ThiscaseillustratesthedifficultquestionssurroundingtheconceptofforgivenessinChristiancounseling.Thequestionsaresocomplexandthepermutationsofpossiblecounselingsituationssonumerousthatnosimpleanswerscanbeofferedinabriefchaptersuchasthis.Rather,mygoalistoraisepertinentissuesandmakerecommendationsforChristiancounselorstoconsidersothateachuniquecounselingsituationcanbecarefullyevaluatedinapsychologicallyandspirituallysensitivemanner.

BeforediscussingthenatureofforgivenessinChristiancounseling,itisimportanttodistinguishforgivenessfromseveralimpostorsandrelatedconcepts.First,forgivingissometimesconfusedwithexcusing.Concludingthat“itwasn’tthatbigadeal”isnotthesameasforgiveness.Excusingiscasualandroutine,butforgivenessrequiressustainedeffort,usuallyoveralongperiodoftime.Anyformofinterpersonalforgivenessthatisportrayedasquickandeasycannotbetrueforgiveness,thoughitisalsotruethatforgivenessbecomeseasierwithpracticeandspiritualdevelopment.

Second,forgivenessissometimesconfusedwithdenialorpassiveacceptance.Remainingsilentandrefusingtoconfrontinthepresenceofanoffenseisnotthesameasforgiving.Passiveacceptanceemphasizeskeepingpeaceatanycost,evenifsilentresentmentsareharboredforyears;whereasforgivenessfirstinvolvesrecognizingandgrievingoverthedamagethathasbeendone,thenchoosingtoreleasethenegativeemotionsassociatedwiththeoffender.

Third,forgivenessisnotself-blame.Forgivinganotherdoesnotrequireustoacceptresponsibilityforwhatwentwrong.Attimeswemayshareresponsibilityfortheproblem,andatothertimeswemaynot.Ineithercase,forgivenessispossible.

Fourth,forgivenessisnotalwaysassociatedwithremorseandrepentanceonthepartoftheoffendingparty.Attimes,peoplehavesuccessfullyforgiventhosewhorefusetoacceptresponsibilityfortheiractions.

Fifth,forgivenessandreconciliationarenotthesame.Thoughreconciliationrequiresforgiveness,forgivenessdoesnotalwaysrequirereconciliation.Attimes,itisrighttoforgiveyetunwisetoenterbackintoarelationshipwithonewholacksremorseandislikelytooffendagain.

AclearunderstandingofforgivenessisanessentialstartingpointforChristiancounselors.Wecanbegintounderstandforgivenessbylookingatthethreefoundationsconsideredthroughoutthisbook:psychology,theology,andspirituality.

Foundations

PsychologyNotmanyyearsagoitseemedthatthepsychologicalcommunityhadalmostcompletelyignoredthetopicofforgiveness.Psychologistsworkedeverydaytohelphealfragmentedrelationshipsandmendwoundsfromthepast,yettheyrarelydiscussedforgivenesswiththeirclients.Between1980and1984,psychologyjournalspublishedonlythirty-twoarticlesrelatedtoforgiveness.Thingshavechangedrapidlyoverthepastdecade,however,andnowforgivenessisaburgeoningtopicofdiscussionanddebatewithinthefieldofpsychology.Between1990and1994,psychologyjournalspublishedninetyarticlesrelatedtoforgiveness,almosta300percentincreasefromthesameperiodinthepreviousdecade.

Psychologistshavestrongandvaryingopinionsabouttheplaceofforgivenessinpsychology.Thereareatleastthreeperspectives.First,somepsychologistsareopposedtoanyuseofforgivenessintherapy.281Second,someseeforgivenessasbeneficialbecauseitpromotesthementalhealthoftheforgiver.Here,forgivenessisessentiallyreducedtoaclinicaltechniqueaimedatprovidingtheclientwithrelieffromtheoftendestructiveconsequencesofrelationalstruggles—consequencessuchasanger,bitterness,andresentment.282Third,somecounselorsconsiderforgivenesstobeanextensionofChristianduty.283Someinthisthirdgroupalsofitinthesecondgroup.Thatis,theyseeforgivenessasaresponseofobediencetoGodwithpersonallybeneficialconsequences.

Becauseofthelimitedscopeofthischapter,wewillconsideronlythesethreeperspectives.However,itisimportanttonotethatthesecategoriesdonotadequatelycapturetheentireforgivenessliteratureinpsychology.Manyotherprofessionalshavewrittenaboutdifferentaspectsofforgiveness:grantingandseekingforgiveness;284distinguishingforgivenessfromotherconstructs;285developingmethodsofmeasuringinterpersonalforgiveness;286therelationshipbetweenpsychologicaltheoryandforgiveness;287theemotionalprocessrequiredforauthenticforgiveness;288andwaystouseforgivenessincounselingpractice.289

OppositiontoForgivenessinTherapyAlthoughthegistoftheforgivenessliteraturetendstofocusonitspowerasatherapeutictechnique,severalauthorseithercompletelyrejectitorputrigidboundariesonitsuse.PsychodynamictherapistAliceMillergloballywritesagainstthepursuitofanyformofeitherforgivenessorreconciliation.InherbookBanishedKnowledge,sherebukeshercolleagueswhoadvocateforgivenessandmakeseveryattempttodistanceherselffromthem.290Millerbelievesthatforgivenessisdetrimentaltopatientsandisalmostalwaysdoneoutofafalsesenseofmoralobligation.

Otherauthorsaddressproblemswithforgivenessindiscussingsexualabuse.EllenBass

andLauraDavisdevoteasectionoftheirbest-sellingbook,TheCouragetoHeal,tothetopicofforgiveness.Theymaintainthatitisnecessaryforsexualabusevictimstoforgiveonlythemselves,nevertheperpetrators.Theauthorssaytothosewhohavereligiousconvictionsaboutforgiveness,“Ifyouhavestrongreligiousties,particularlyChristianones,youmayfeelitisyoursacreddutytoforgive.Thisjustisn’ttrue.Ifthereissuchathingasdivineforgiveness,it’sGod’sjob,notyours.”291BassandDavisarguethatitisboth“insulting”and“minimizing”toencourageanabusevictimtoforgiveanabuser.292

Returningtotheexampleatthebeginningofthischapter,ifMs.Hurtweretoseeacounselorwhoopposesforgiveness,shewouldbeencouragedtoexploreherpain,graspheranger,grieveherlosses,andmoveaheadwithherlife.ForgivenesswouldneverbediscussedunlessMs.Hurtbroughtitup,andthenthediscussionmightbequicklydiscouraged.

ForgivenessasaClinicalTechniqueIfMs.Hurtsawadifferentcounselor,onewhoencouragedhertoworktowardforgiveness,thecounselinggoalsmightbequitedifferent.Ms.Hurt’scounselormighthelpherreleaseherfeelingsofbitternessandangerandultimatelyforgiveheruncle.Why?BecauseitwillhelpMs.Hurtfeelbetter.Justastheabuseinherpasthasdonehergreatharm,sothebitternessandresentmentinthepresentcontinuetohurthereachday.Bylettinggoofherresentment,shemayhelpherselffeelbetter.

Similarly,couplesinconflictmayfunctionbetteraftertheyforgiveoneanother.WorthingtonandDiBlasioadvocate“mutualforgiveness”incouplestherapy.293Thesearegoodusesofforgiveness,buttheysometimesresultinanunfortunateseparationofforgivenessandreligion.

Thosewhouseforgivenessincounselingbecauseithelpspeoplefeelbetteroftenacknowledgethereligiousmeaningofforgiveness,thenattempttoseparateforgivenessfromitsreligioustiesinordertoincorporateitintotheirclinicalworkwithbothChristianandnon-Christianclients.Forexample,DonaldHopeadvocatesforgivenessasaneffectivetoolwithabusevictims.Heportraysthehealingbenefitsofforgivenessbydescribingacounselingcasewhereaman,afterbecominginvolvedinanevangelicalchurchgroup,forgavehisalcoholicfatherforyearsofheartache,trauma,andabuse.Afterforgivinghisfatherunderthedirectionofaminister,dramaticchangestookplaceinhim:hiscurrentrelationshipsimproved;hebecameamoreactiveandlovingparent;andhethoughtlesscriticallyofhimself.294Hopeconnectsthismovingtransformationtotheoneactofforgiveness,failingtoconsiderthepossiblelife-changingeffectsofthisman’snewreligiousfaith.Perhapswhatpromptedthisclient’sactofforgivenesswasadeepawarenessofhisownfailingsandneedforforgivenessandmercy.Hisexperienceofgracemightnaturallyhaveledhimtoadoptahumbleattitudetowardhimselfandothers.HisnewlydiscoveredChristianbeliefsystemmayhavecausedthisoneactofforgivenesstoproducetheemotionallybeneficial

consequences.Forgiveness,initstheologicalandspiritualcontext,isprofound,lifegiving,and

transforming.Whenweremovethereligiouscontextandthinkofforgivenessonlyasaclinicaltechnique,werisklosingtheessenceofforgiveness.TheHumanDevelopmentStudyGroup,devotedtounderstandingforgivenessinpsychology,warns:“Adefinitionthatexclusivelyemphasizesforgivenessasthereductionofnegativeemotionsmayleadclientsawayfromresentmentorhatred,butintoacoldneutralitythatisnotforgiveness.”295ForgivenessfindslifeandmeaninginChristianity,butwhenthefaithstructureisremoved,itcaneasilydegenerateintothisstateofcoldneutrality.

ForgivenessasaChristianDutyAthirdapproachtoforgivenessistoviewitasanobligationforthosewhodesiretoliveaChristianlife.IfMs.Hurt’scounselorembracedthisperspective,thetherapistmightinstructMs.HurtthatshehasbeenforgivenbyGodandthatherChristianobligationistoforgiveherabuser.Hercounselorrecognizesthatforgivenessmaytaketime,honestexplorationofherfeelingsofanger,andgriefoverwhatshehaslostbecauseoftheabuse;butultimatelyshehasadutytoforgive.

JaredPingletonsuggeststhattherapistsrecognizeandattempttocultivateinclientsanunderstandingofthreeessentialelementsoftheforgivenessprocess:“(a)forgivenesscanonlybereceivedfromGodifgiventoothers,(b)forgivenesscanonlybegiventoothersifreceivedfromself,and(c)forgivenesscanonlybegiventoselfifreceivedfromGod.”296ThismodeldemonstratesthattheabilitytobestowforgivenessonselfandothersisinextricablylinkedtotheabilitytoreceiveitfromGod.

CultivatinginourclientsanawarenessoftheChristiandutytoforgiverequiresbalance.Ononehand,ifweresorttodidactictechniquesorattempttorushtheprocessofforgiveness,weriskinterferingwiththeinsightprocessandmaycommunicatealackofempathyorunderstanding.ThoughbothcounselorsandclientshaveaChristiandutytoforgiveothers,itisnotusuallyeffectiveforcounselorstoforcefullycommunicatethisdutytoclients.Ontheotherhand,ifweneverintroducetheconceptofforgiveness,manyclientswillnotthinkofitontheirown.ContemporarysocietyhasbeenevenmoresaturatedwithpopularpsychologythanwithChristiantradition,andforgivenessisoftenoverlookedbythosewhohavebeentaughttonursetheirangerandattributetheirweaknessestopastmistreatment.

Thus,thechallengefacingChristiancounselorsistointroducetheconceptofforgivenesswithoutbeingforcefulorsimplistic.Thereisaforgivenessthatinvolvesintellectandanotherthatalsoinvolvesemotionalrelease.Ifwearetoodirectiveinourcounseling,wemayproduceonlyintellectualizedforgiveness.Ifweavoidthetopicaltogether,neithertypeofforgivenessmayoccur.Howcanweproduceaforgivenessthatstartswiththemindandalsoengagesemotions?

TowardanIntegratedPerspectiveofForgivenessIn1994,MichaelMcCulloughandEverettWorthington,Jr.,reviewedtheforgivenessliteratureandconcludedthat“theological,philosophical,andpsychologicalunderstandingsofforgivenesshavenotbeenwellintegrated.”297Theywentontohypothesizethatusingforgivenessinatherapeuticcontexthasthecapacityfortremendousspiritualimplicationsthatpotentiallyleadtobeneficialpsychologicalconsequencesaswell.InordertorealizethepotentialforforgivenessinChristiancounseling,eachcounselorneedstoworkpersonallyontheintegrationtaskthatMcCulloughandWorthingtoncallustoconsider—ataskthatrequiresfindingvalueineachofthethreeperspectivesdescribedhereaswellascarefullyconsideringthetheologicalandspiritualmeaningsofforgiveness.

Atfirstglance,itmayappearthatChristiancounselorshavenothingtolearnfromthoseoutspokentherapistswhowantnothingtodowithforgiveness.Acloserlookmayrevealsomelegitimateconcernsintheirperspectives.Whencounselorsbecomestridentinadvocatingforgiveness,theymayelicitapprovalseekingintheirclients.Becausetheseclientswanttopleasetheircounselors,theymaygothroughtheintellectualmotionsofforgivenesswithoutgainingtheinsightandemotionalreleasethataccompanytrueforgiveness.Thoughtheircounselorsmaybesatisfiedthattheseclientshaveforgivenpastoffenses,theclientsthemselvesmayleavecounselinglesscertainaboutwhatwasaccomplished,feelingconfused,coerced,ormisunderstood.Similarly,becauseforgivenessisoftenconfusedwithreconciliation,evenbringingupthetopicofforgivenessmayelicitfearoffurtherharminsome,especiallyiftheiroffendershaveexpressednoremorse.Theseclientsmayassumetheircounselorsaresuggestingthattheyshouldreconcileandenterintoarelationshipwiththeiroffenders,anassumptionthatmayquicklygeneratefeelingsofshameandfear.

Likethosewhoopposeforgivenessincounseling,thosewhoviewforgivenessasaclinicaltechniquehavealsomadeimportantcontributionsthatmustbeconsideredinanintegratedviewofforgiveness.Forcounselingtobeuseful,itmustultimatelybepractical,affectingthelivesofthoseinvolved.Teachingspecificskillsofforgivenesscanhelpmakecounselingpracticalbyhelpingpeoplerepairdamagedrelationships.

Similarly,seeingforgivenessasChristiandutyhasvalue.Attimesweallneedtoberemindedofwhatweoughttodoasawaytocombatwhatwewanttodo.DietrichBonhoefferwrotethat“thecalltofollowChristalwaysmeansacalltosharetheworkofforgivingmentheirsins.ForgivenessistheChristlikesufferingwhichitistheChristian’sdutytobear.”298Thoughretainingangerandresentmentbuildsstrongwallsofprotection,ourChristianvaluesrequireustoteardownthosewallsandmakeourselvesvulnerableinforgivingothers,eventhosewhohavehurtus.Forgivenessisnotanaturalact;itisasupernaturalone.WelearnforgivenessthroughChrist,thenattempttoexerciseitinourrelationshipswithothers.

Thus,wefindvalueinallthreeperspectives:thosewhoopposeforgivenessincounseling,thosewhouseforgivenessasaclinicaltechnique,andthosewhoseeforgivenessasatheologicalduty.Integratingtheseperspectivesintoausefulcounselingstyleisadifficulttask.Fortunately,wecanfindsignificanthelpbylookingattheologicalandspiritualperspectivesonforgiveness.

ChristianTheologyThroughouttheOldTestamentandtheNewTestament,theScripturespresentasalvationstoryinwhichGodcontinuallyredeemsawaywardpeople,toofferthemarelationshipthatispossibleonlythroughforgiveness.299ItisexclusivelythroughGod’sforgivenessthathumanityheals.WithoutGod’sforgiveness,peopleremaininabrokenandisolatedstate;withGod’sforgivenesstheyreceivenewlife.

ThesacrificialdeathofJesusistheultimateactofforgiveness.Hewasabusedandridiculed.Finallyhisbloodwas“pouredoutformanyfortheforgivenessofsins”(Matt.26:28).Hissacrificialdeath,insubstitutionforsinfulhumanity,appeasedGod’swrathagainstsinandbroughtpeace.

ButaChristianviewofforgivenessdoesnotstopwithJesushangingonacross;theNewTestamentinstructsustoforgiveoneanotherasGodhasforgivenus.Inoneofseveralsimilarpassages,theapostlePaulinstructs,“Bekindtooneanother,tenderhearted,forgivingoneanother,asGodinChristhasforgivenyou”(Eph.4:32).Paul’sinstructionsimplyaChristiandutytoforgiveoneanother,buttheyalsosuggestawayoflifethatexudesforgiveness.Wearetobetender,kind,forgiving.ForgivenessisaqualityofChristiancharacter,notjustanactofthewill.

Thissubtledistinctionbetweenforgivenessasanactofthewillandforgivenessasareflectionofcharacterisillustratedinthefollowingtwoexamples.

Example1InthecontextofChristiancounseling,Ms.Hurtrecognizesshehasanobligationtoforgiveheruncleanddecidestogiveitatry.Afterspendingampletimeunderstandingherangerandgrievingthelossesofthepast,shebeginstoprayeachdayforheruncle,askingGodtoreleaseherfromtheangerandbitternessshefeels.Overtime,Godanswersherrequests,andsoonshecanthinkofherunclewithoutfeelingburdenedwithbitterness.

ThesearehealthychangesforMs.Hurt—changesthatwereinitiatedbyhersenseofChristiandutyandpromptedbyhercounselor.Asgoodandaspromisingasthesechangesare,analternativeapproachmightworkevenbetter.

Example2DuringChristiancounseling,Ms.Hurtworksthroughherfeelingsofangerandhergriefoverthetypeofchildhoodandadulthoodshewillneverexperience.Shealsoworkstounderstandherselfbetterandbeginstoacknowledgeherfaultsandweaknessesinthecontextofhersafecounselingrelationship.Assherecognizesherownvulnerabilitiesandweaknesses,shegivesuptryingtoearnGod’sloveandbeginslearninghowtorestinGod’slove.Intime,herangergiveswaytotenderness,herresentmenttokindness.Soonsherealizesthatsheislessbittertowardheruncle.Shesensesaninnerurgetoforgive.Ms.Hurtworkseachdaytoreleaseherpain,torestinGod’slove,toconfesshershortcomings,andtoforgivethosewhohavehurther,includingheruncle.

Thoughthedifferencesbetweenthesetwoexamplesaresubtle,thesecondillustratesforgivenessasareflectionofinsightandcharactertransformationratherthanasanactofwillpower.Asweacknowledgeourownpredilectiontowardwrongdoingandhowweareundeservedlyandregularlyforgiven,wecanlearntorespondinthesameforgivingmannertowardothers.Forgivenessishumblesubmissiontotheonewhocontinuouslyforgivesus.

Thus,aChristianunderstandingofforgivenessbeginswitharecognitionofthedepravityinherentinhumanity.IagreewithEricksonthat“ourapproachtotheproblemsofsocietywill...begovernedbyourviewofsin.”300Ifsinisubiquitous,affectingeveryperson,thenweareallanactivepartofthehumanproblem.Aswecomprehendhumanweaknessandpropensityforevil,bothintheirwiderhistoricalcontextandinourownindividuallives,werecognizeourneedbothtogiveandtoreceiveforgiveness.WithamatureunderstandingofourownsinandGod’smercy,weareincreasinglyabletoseeourselvesasweviewthewrongdoingofothers.Thisisnottosuggestthatforgivenessiseasybutthatforgivenessisfacilitatedbyempathyandhumility.LewisSmedesdescribesthisphenomenoninForgiveandForget:“Withalittletime,andalittlemoreinsight,webegintoseebothourselvesandourenemiesinhumblerprofiles.Wearenotreallyasinnocentaswefeltwhenwewerefirsthurt.Andwedonotusuallyhaveagiganticmonstertoforgive;wehaveaweak,needy,andsomewhatstupidhumanbeing.Whenyouseeyourenemyandyourselfintheweaknessandsillinessofthehumanityyoushare,youwillmakethemiracleofforgivingalittleeasier.”301

SpiritualityForgiveness,then,isanactofcompassionthatcomesfromoneperson’sidentifyingwithanother.Itsuggeststhattwopeopleareequallyfallible,onerespondingtotheoffenseoftheotherinlovingidentification.SaintFrancisofAssisi,athirteenth-centurymonk,wroteofthepersonallessoninhumilitytobegleanedfromanotherperson’soffense.“Whomarewetocountasour‘friends’?Allthosewhoseunjustactionsandwordscauseusallmannerofgriefandtrial....HowcanIsuggestthatyoushouldgreatlylovesuchpeople?Forthisreason:Theirevilactionsdrawoutanddisplaytousourownevilresponses—anger,gossip,slander,hatredandthelike.Thenweseeoursinforwhatitis.Andonlythencanwerepentandforsakeit.”302

Healingcomesasweseeourselvesinthosewhohurtus.Wecomeface-to-facewithourownsinandcanturntoGodforcleansing.Thistypeofinsightandhumilityenablesustoforgive.Forgivenessbecomesanactofempathy,withonepersonsayingtotheother,“Imaynothavedoneexactlywhatyoudid,butIamalsocapableofdoingevil.JustasIneedforgiveness,soIforgiveyou.”

WhenPeteraskedJesusifheshouldforgiveonewhosinsagainsthimasmanyasseventimes,Jesusanswered,“Notseventimes,but,Itellyou,seventy-seventimes”(Matt.18:22).Hewentontotellastoryofakingwhocalledinaslavetosettleanaccount.Theslaveowedthekinganunimaginableamountofmoney,morethancouldeverberepaidwithalifetime’swages.Theslavecouldnotrepay,sothekingorderedhimsold.Whentheslavebeggedformercy,theking,inhismercy,forgavethedebt.Afterleavingtheking’spresence,theforgivenslavewentandfoundafellowslavewhoowedhimasmallamountofmoney,grabbedhimbythethroat,andinsistedonimmediatepayment.Whenthekingheardofthis,hecalledthefirstslaveback,exclaiming,“Youwickedslave!Iforgaveyouallthatdebtbecauseyoupleadedwithme.Shouldyounothavehadmercyonyourfellowslave,asIhadmercyonyou?”Thekinghandedtheslaveovertothetorturer.Aftertellingthisdisturbingstory,Jesusannounced:“SomyheavenlyFatherwillalsodotoeveryoneofyou,ifyoudonotforgiveyourbrotherorsisterfromyourheart”(Matt.18:35).

Refusingtoforgiveanotherisplacingourselvesabovethatperson,asifweareinastateofmoralsuperiority.ThomasàKempiswarned:“Countnotthyselfbetterthanothers,lestperchancethouappearworseinthesightofGod,whoknowethwhatisinman.”303Asabhorrentaswemayfindtheactionsofsexualabusers,murderers,rapists,thieves,andpsychopaths,wemustacknowledgethatweareallsinnerswhoseonlyhopeforredemptionisfoundinaforgivingandgraciousGod.

RecognizingourconditionassinnersplacesusinapositionofhumilitybeforeGodandoneanother.Onlyfromthispositionofhumilitycanwefullyunderstandforgiveness.TheapostlePauldescribedthisinhislettertotheColossianChristians:“AsGod’schosenones,holyandbeloved,clotheyourselveswithcompassion,kindness,humility,meekness,and

patience.Bearwithoneanotherand,ifanyonehasacomplaintagainstanother,forgiveeachother;justastheLordhasforgivenyou,soyoualsomustforgive.Aboveall,clotheyourselveswithlove,whichbindseverythingtogetherinperfectharmony”(Col.3:12-14).

Insummary,Christiancounselorswhosensitivelyintegratepsychological,theological,andspiritualperspectivesonforgivenessaredistinguishedbyseveralcharacteristics:

1.Theyrecognizethepotentialdamageofintroducingforgivenessasatherapeuticgoaltooearlyinthetreatmentrelationship.

2.Theyvaluetechniquesthatemphasizeforgivenesswhilerecognizingthatforgivenessrequiresinnertransformationaswellasbehavioralchange.

3.TheyrecognizeaChristiandutytoforgivebutdonotusethatdutytocoerceormanipulateclients.

4.TheyrememberthatforgivenesswasnotinventedbycounselorsorpsychologistsbutbyGod,whochosetoredeemhumanitythroughthesacrificialworkofJesusChrist.

5.Theyseeaconnectionbetweensin,confession,andforgiveness,understandingthatforgivenessproperlyflowsoutofhumbleself-awarenessandgratitudetoaforgivingGod.

PsychologicalandSpiritualHealthLetusimaginethatMs.Hurtisclonedintofouridenticalclients,eachofwhomseesadifferentChristiantherapistforcounseling.EachtherapisthelpsMs.Hurt,buteachgoesaboutitinadifferentway.

CounselorACounselorAisabehavioralpsychologist.ShelistensintentlytoMs.Hurt’sstoryofabuse,expressesempathyandconcern,andworkswithMs.Hurttoformulateatreatmentplanthatwillhelpherfunctionbetterinherdailylife.Aspartofthetreatmentplan,counselorAteachesMs.Hurtprogressiverelaxationandcopingimagery.Withpractice,Ms.Hurteventuallylearnstorelaxallthemusclesinherbodywhileimagininganinteractionwithheruncle.Sheseesherselfactingassertively,settingappropriateboundaries,andtellingherunclehowmuchdamagetheabusehascausedher.Afterimaginingtheinteractioninthesafetyofacounselingsession,shemeetswithheruncleandhasasimilarinteractioninreallife.Counselingcontinues,andMs.Hurtcontinuesherrelaxationandimaginationexercises.Eventually,sheimaginesforgivingheruncle,lettinggoofalltheangerandbitterness,andlookingtothefutureratherthanthepast.Heruncleneverexpressesremorsedirectlytoher,andshenevertellshimofherchoicetoforgive.Butshefeelsreliefandpeaceaftercounseling.

CounselorBCounselorBseesMs.Hurtandapproachestheproblemfromadifferenttheoreticalperspective.CounselorBisapsychodynamicallyorientedpsychiatristwhohelpsMs.Hurtexploreanduncovertheemotionalconflictsofherchildhood.Earlyintherapy,Ms.Hurtdiscusseshermemoriesofbeingsexuallyabusedbyheruncle.CounselorBlistensintentlyandworkstomaintainenoughwarmthtocommunicateempathyyetenoughdistancetoallowMs.Hurttoexperienceherconflictualfeelings.CounselorBputsnotimepressureonMs.Hurt,allowinghertoexploreandexpressfeelingsatherownpace.Shebeginsfeelingbetter.Eventually,aftermanymonthsofsuccessfultreatment,Ms.Hurtbringsupthetopicofforgiveness.Shehasbroughtupthetopicbefore,butonlyasameansofcontrollingherinnerrage.Thistimeisdifferent.CounselorBrealizesthatMs.Hurtisreadytoconsiderforgivingheruncle.

CounselorCCounselorCisabiblicalcounselor.HelistenscarefullytoMs.Hurt’sstory,buildsagoodtherapeuticrelationshipbasedonmutualrespect,thenbeginstotakealeadershiproleinthecounselingprocess.HeexplainstoMs.Hurtthatherwoundsaredeepandthatheremotionsarenatural.Healsoexplainsthatnaturalresponsesarenotalwayshelpful.ThegoalofcounselingwillbetohelpherrespondtoGod’spromptingratherthantotheinnerinstinctsofangerandbitterness.ShewillhearGod’spromptingthroughScriptureandprayer—thetoolscounselorCplanstouseincounseling.Together,counselorCandMs.Hurtexplorethemeaningandconsequencesofsin,theimportanceofforgivenessandrepentance,andtheessenceoffocusingonthefutureratherthanthepast.Ms.Hurtgrowsspirituallyandemotionally,andsheultimatelyforgivesheruncle.

CounselorDCounselorDisacognitivetherapistwhohelpspeoplechangetheirthoughtsandbeliefsinordertomanagetheiremotionsbetter.BecausecounselorDisagoodlistenerandacaringperson,sheestablishesgoodrapportwithMs.Hurtalmostimmediately.TheybeginexploringMs.Hurt’sbeliefsandassumptions.Ms.Hurtemergedfromherchildhoodbelievingthatsheisresponsiblefortheactionsofothers.Foryearsshehasquietlyblamedherselfforbeingabused,believingthatifshehadbeenquieterorhaddresseddifferently,thenherunclewouldhaveleftheralone.SheandhercounselorlookcarefullyatthisbeliefuntilMs.Hurtdecidesherbeliefisincorrectandacknowledgesthatheruncleisresponsibleforhischoices.ThiscognitivechangehelpsMs.Hurtfeellessdepressed,butshebecomesintenselyangry.Hernewbeliefisthatheruncleisaterribleandawfulpersonwhoshouldbepunishedandhumiliated.ThisbeliefalsosubsideswithcontinuedtherapyasMs.Hurtbeginstorecognizehowconfusedandlonelyherunclefeels.Theacheofpastabusewillalwaysbewithher,butshedecidestoreleaseherrageandchooseforgiveness.

Fortunately,ourfourclientshaveseengoodtherapists.EachcounselorhashelpedMs.Hurtworkthroughthetragedyofabuseandcometoapointwheresheiswillingtoforgiveheruncle.Eachhastakenadifferenttheoreticalroute,butalltherouteshavebeensuccessful.Becauseoftheirdifferentapproachestocounseling,eachofthesetherapistsbringsauniquesetofstrengthsandweaknessestothecounselingwork—qualitiesthataffectthewayforgivenessisperceivedandhandledincounseling.Thesestrengthsandweaknesseswillbeconsideredinthecontextofthefamiliarquestionsconsideredinpreviouschapters.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofSelf?

CounselorAOnestrengthofcounselorA’sapproachistheincreasingsenseofself-efficacythatMs.Hurtdevelopsascounselingprogresses.Shelearnstoexpressherfeelingsforthrightlyandassertively,eventothepointofconfrontingheruncle.Beforecounseling,shewaslockedinthegripsofshameandself-doubt.Aftercounseling,sheconfidentlyexpressesherfeelingsandopinions.

Apotentialweaknesswithbehavioralapproachestoforgivenessistheassumptionthatnegativeemotionscanbechangedbystandardbehavioralproceduressuchasthereciprocal-inhibitionproceduresusedbycounselorA.ItmaybethatMs.Hurt,becauseofherearlylifetrauma,doesnotrespondtotreatmentinthesamewaysasthosewhohavenotbeenabused.Mostofusfinditrelievingtogiveupournegativeemotionsandforgiveanother.Buttheabusevictimhaslearnedtoassociategivingupwithbeinghurt.Whenshegivesupher

rights,someonetakesadvantageofher.SotreatmentmightnotgoasquicklyorasneatlyassuggestedinthebriefvignettewithcounselorAandMs.Hurt.

Beforeforgivenesstechniquescanbetherapeutic,severalprerequisitesshouldbemet:Ms.Hurtfullyunderstandstheextentofherinjuriesduetosexualabuse;shemovesbeyondhertendencytowardself-blame;shehonestlyexperiencesappropriateangertowardherabuser;shefeelsempoweredtosetboundariesthatkeepherfrombeingabusedagain;andshehasacomplexunderstandingoftheabuserratherthanastereotypedandsimplifiedviewofhim.304Manyofthesechangesnormallyoccurinthecontextofatrustingtherapeuticrelationshipandcannotberushedwithbehavioraltechniques.

CounselorBCounselorBdesignshistreatmentspecificallytohelpMs.Hurtdevelopamorerobustsenseofself.Individuation,thecapacitytoseeoneselfasanindividualratherthanasasymbioticextensionofanother,isthegoalofmanypsychodynamictherapies.BygivingMs.Hurttimeandfreedomtoexploreherinnerfeelingsandconflicts,counselorBhelpsherindividuate.Oncesheiscomfortablewithherself,sheisinabetterpositiontogenuinelyforgiveherabuser.

Unfortunately,manypsychodynamictherapistsstopattheindividuationstageanddonotcontinueontoconsiderforgiveness.Thetopicofforgivenessisviewedsuspiciously,ignored,orcriticizedbymanypsychodynamictherapists.

CounselorCWhereassomepsychodynamictherapistsmaynevergetaroundtoconsideringforgivenesswithMs.Hurt,thatproblemwillnotoccurwithbiblicalcounselors.OneadvantageofcounselorC’sapproachisitsdirectnesswithregardtoforgiveness.CounselorChelpsMs.HurtseeherselfandherabuserasGodseesthem—needy,brokenpeoplesearchingforspiritualandinterpersonalreconciliation.

ApotentialdisadvantagetothisapproachisthatthecounselormightunwittinglystepintotheroleofadominantleaderthatpreysonMs.Hurt’sneedtopleaseothers.EvenwhenMs.Hurtreportsfeelingbetterandmakinggoodprogress,itmaybelittlemorethanhershame-basedeffortstopleasehercounselor.Clientswhobelievetheymustforgiveinordertopleaseatherapistortofulfillaspiritualobligationhavedifficultygainingthenecessaryinsightfortrueforgiveness.Thiscanleadtowordsandbehaviorsthatreflectdenialmorethanforgiveness,withtheclientchoosingconflict-avoidanceoverdirectandhonestcommunication.DavidAugsburgerwarns,“Forgivenesshappensaspastresentmentsareowned,notdisowned;arerecognized,notrepressed;arereleased,notretained;andarewovenintonewbondingrelationshipswithothers.”305

CounselorDCounselorD,acognitivetherapist,helpsMs.Hurtestablishahealthysenseofselfbyconsideringherbeliefsandassumptionsandhelpingherrevisethem.Intheprocessoflearningmetacognition(theabilitytothinkaboutherthoughts)shediscoversthatshehassomepersonalcontroloverherfeelings,thatsheisnotdestinedtorespondoutofshameorapprovalseeking.Fromthis,shedevelopsahealthysenseofautonomyandindividuation.

Unfortunately,somecognitivetherapistsminimizetheimportanceofemotionsandfocusonlogicalmostexclusively.Forthesecounselorsandtheirclients,forgivenessisreducedtoanintellectualexercisethatmightbestbedescribedaspseudoforgiveness.306Authenticforgivenessisanemotionallyintenseprocess,andoverlyintellectualizedformsoftherapytendtoskipoverimportantpartsoftheforgivenessprocess.307

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofNeed?

CounselorAEstablishingahealthyawarenessofone’sneedforGodandothersrequiresdelicatebalance.Wemightassumethatrecognizingourneedissimplyamatterofthinkinglessofourselves,butforthosewhoarealreadycaughtinthegripsofshame,thinkinglessofthemselvesisnothelpful.Justasteachingacodependentpersonthatheorsheneedsothersisfutileatbestanddestructiveatworst,somanyneedtofeelmoreconfidentinthemselvesandtheirabilitiesbeforetheyareabletoseetheirneedforGodandothers.ThisiscounselorA’sapproach:helpingMs.Hurtfeelbetteraboutherself,moreconfidentinhercopingabilities,andmoreincontrolofherlife.Onceshehasmoreconfidenceinherself,thenshecanbegintounderstandherneedforothers.

TheriskisthatcounselorAwillhelpMs.Hurtfeelstrong,thathersymptomswillimprove,andthatcounselingwillstopbeforeshereachesapointofhumbleidentificationwithherabuser.IfaclinicianemploysbehavioralforgivenesstechniqueswithoutunderstandingtheChristiantheologicalfoundationforforgiveness,theclientmaymisssignificantopportunitiesforinsightandself-awareness.308Thistheologicallydeprivedtypeofforgivingcancreateamind-setofsuperiorityintheforgiver,asiftheclientbelieves,“IwillforgiveyoubecauseIliveonahigherplanethanyou,andIrefusetoletyoudragmedowntoyourlevel.”

CounselorBThoughIamnotapsychodynamictherapist,IamconvincedthatpsychodynamictheoryisthebestavailableoptionforhelpingclientsconfronttheirneedforGodandothers.WhilecounselorsA,C,andDarehelping“patchup”Ms.Hurtwithbehavioral,cognitive,andspiritualtechniques,counselorBishelpingherstareintentlyatherdeepestfeelingsofpain,loneliness,andisolation.CounselorBbelievesMs.Hurtwillgrowonlyasshehonestlylooksatallaspectsofherself,includingthepartsshehasspentyearsavoiding.ShewillleavetherapyrecognizingherweaknessesaswellasherstrengthsandwillseeherneedforGodandothers.

Despitethecautiousattitudesaboutforgivenessamongpsychodynamiccounselors,ahealthyunderstandingofforgivenessfitsnaturallyintothismodeloftherapy.Oncewerecognizeourinnerlonelinessandlongingforcommunity,aswellasourpropensitytowardselfishnessandegocentrism,thenwearereadytoreachouttootherimperfecthumanswithgesturesofforgivenessandcompassion.Webestunderstandandexperienceforgivenessfromthispostureofhumbleidentificationwithothers.

CounselorCAfterestablishingrapport,counselorCconfrontsMs.Hurtwithherneedrightaway.Fortunately,counselorChelpsMs.HurtfindhopeforherspiritualandemotionalneedsthroughScriptureandprayer.Shesetshermindonthefutureandforgivesheruncleforthepast.

TheriskcounselorCintroducesisthatMs.Hurtisnotyetstrongenoughtofaceherstateofneed.Thoseoverwhelmedwithburdensofshameneedtofindwaystounderstandtheirshamebeforetheyarecapableofseeingtheirshortcomingsandfaultsaccurately.Ratherthanproducingahealthystateofhumility,counselorCmaybeunwittinglyencouraginganunhealthystateofhumiliationthatonlydeepenstheshameofhisclient.309

CounselorDBeforecounselingwithcounselorD,Ms.Hurtbelievedthatshewasresponsibleforherchildhoodabuse.Intheprocessofexaminingandevaluatingherbeliefsandassumptions,shegrewtorealizethatherunclewasresponsibleandshewasnot.Thisdiscoveryhelpedliberateherfromyearsofdepression.

Eventhebestchangessometimeshaveunwantedsideeffects.BecauseMs.Hurtlearnedincounselingtoattributeeventsofthepasttoexternalcauses(heruncle)ratherthaninternal(herself),shemaycontinuetousehernewattributionalstyleandresistanynotionthatshehasfaults.Ratherthanacceptingresponsibilityfortheongoingstrugglesoflife,shemaysettlecomfortablyintothevictimroleandattributeherproblemstothevillainswhohavecausedthem.CounselorDneedstowatchforthistendencyandhelpherfindamiddlegroundwhereshecanmakeeitherinternalorexternalattributions,dependingonthe

circumstancesinvolved.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealingRelationship?CounselorAassumesthattheactiveingredientsinherworkwithMs.Hurtarethebehavioraltechniquesusedtoteachnewcopingskills.Sheseestherelationshipasanimportantmechanismfortransfusingthesetechniques.

CounselorBseestherelationshipitselfastheactiveingredient.Ms.Hurtwilllearntobecaringtowardherselfbyobservingandinteractingwithacaringtherapist.Hercapacitytoseeherselfaccurately,andthustoforgive,requiresinsightsthatcanbegeneratedonlyinthecontextofahealthyrelationship.

CounselorCseesGod’sWordastheactiveingredientinchange.ThecounselingrelationshipisimportantbecauseitisthevehiclethroughwhichMs.HurtwillbeexposedtoChristianprinciples,Scripture,andprayer.

CounselorDseesthecounselingrelationshipasoneimportantwaytocounterMs.Hurt’sfaultyassumptions.Inadditiontothetechniquesofcognitivetherapy,sheusesacaringtherapeuticrelationshiptohelpMs.Hurtfeelvaluedandworthwhile.

Thougheachcounselorplacesslightlydifferentemphasisonthetherapeuticrelationship,itisimportanttoallofthem.Isuspectthecounselingrelationshipisthecommonfactorthatmakeseachformoftherapyeffective.310Forgivenessisnotsomuchaskillthatistaughtasitisaworldviewthatiscaught.

Agoodcounselorhelpsaclientrecognizeapastoffense,makingsurethattheclientdoesnotexcuse,condone,ordismisstheoffense.Thetherapistthenwalkstheclientthroughperiodsofanger,grief,andloneliness.Theclientlearnstotrustagainbyrelyingonthetherapisttolegitimizetheundeservedanguishandbyseeingthatthetherapistwillnotleavetheclientinanunresolvedstateofbitternessandanger.Cliniciansarealreadyteachingforgiveness,consciouslyornot,whentheytreattheirclientsinthisway.Onepsychologistputitthisway:“Perhapsitisthisexperienceofbeingvaluedinthepresentdespiteobviousshortcomingsandfailuresinthepastthatprovokesclientsintoforgivingtheirpasts,developingamoreforgivingattitudeinthepresent,releasingjudgmentsandgrievances,andthuscreatingmoreoptionsforthefuture.”311

FacingtheChallenges

Challenge1:MovingfromTwoAreasofCompetencetoThreeIfthecapacitytoforgiveisacharacterqualityrequiringhumbleidentificationwithanoffenderandifthetreatmentrelationshipisanimportantingredientinchange,thencounselorsshouldevaluatetheirowncapacitytoforgiveandhumblyidentifywiththeirclients.Formanycounselorsthisnecessitatesaconceptualshiftthatrequiresustogiveupmuchofoursenseofpowerandimportance,asillustratedinthefollowingthreeexamples.

First,humbleidentificationrequiresustoseeourclientsassimilartoourselves.Therapistswhohavesoughtcounselingthemselvesarefamiliarwiththestruggleoftakingontheclientrole.Wewanttothinkofourselvesasbetteradjusted,healthier,morespiritualthanourclients,soweoftenresistgettingpersonaltherapy.Whencircumstancesforceusintopersonaltherapy,wecannolongermaintainthemythsofsuperiority.We,likeourChristianclients,arepilgrimsalongaspiritualpath—pilgrimswhofailfrequentlyandareoftenstunnedbythepainanddifficultyoflife.

Asecondexampleisfoundindealingwithangryclients.Goodtherapistsdrawoutemotionsincounseling,andthoseemotionsusuallyspillovertheirproperboundariesandaredirectedatthecounselor.Thus,virtuallyalleffectivecounselorsdealfrequentlywiththeirclients’anger.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Joeisworkingtoforgivehisabsentfather,whomherarelysawduringhischildhoodyears.Afterspendingseveralsessionsdiscussinghisfather,helookshiscounselorintheeyeandblurtsout:“You’rejustlikehim.Yousitthereanddon’tsayanything.You’reprobablynotevenlistening.What,areyouthinkingaboutyourgolfgamethisafternoon?”

Whichresponseshouldthecounselorchoose?

Response1:“Iamlisteningtoyou,notthinkingaboutgolf.”

Response2:“Thesearepainfulfeelingsforyou—asifyouareherebutnothere.Andyou’vehadthesefeelingsbefore.”

Response3:“Idon’tappreciatethoseaccusations.Theyarenottrue,andyouareoutofplacetosuggesttheyare.”

Joeandhiscounselorhavetalkedaboutthegoalofforgiveness,butnowthecounselor

hasanopportunityforsomethingmuchbetterthantalkingaboutforgiveness.ThecounselorcanembodythequalityofforgivenessbyhumblyidentifyingwithJoe.Thesecondresponse,obviouslythebest,isnondefensiveandencouragesJoetoexplorehisfeelingswhilemodelinginterpersonalhumility.

Third,humbleidentificationwithclientsrequirescounselorstomonitortheirownself-talkduringcounselingsessions.Attimes,thestressfulworkofcounselingcausesustobecynical.Evenwhenwearekindinourovertresponses,wesometimesthinkcriticalorharshthoughtsaboutourclients.Humbleidentificationinvolvesawillingnesstoreleaseourownfrustrationsanddisappointmentsaboutacounselingsessionandtoremainprayerfullysupportiveofourclientsinourthoughtsaswellasourwords.Acounselor’sspirituallifeisroutinelytestedinthecounselingofficeandisevidentintheinnerexperiencesandattitudesofthecounselor.

Challenge2:BlurredPersonal-ProfessionalDistinctionsIncounseling,ourprofessionalactivitiesaretransactedatapersonallevel.Theseinteractionsreflectmorethanbusinesspractices;theyalsoreflectourcapacityforhumility,forgiveness,andsettingappropriateboundaries.

Forinstance,dealingwithmissedcounselingappointmentsisoftenamatterofprofessionalpolicy,establishedbyagroupofcounselorssharingofficespace.However,implementingthepolicyismorethanabusinessdecisionandisusuallyatthepersonaldiscretionofthecounselor.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Onaparticularlybadday,acounselorhastwoconsecutivemissedappointments.Thefirst,Mr.Greggs,hasnevermissedanappointmentbefore.Hecallstwohourslaterfromahotelroomacrossthecountry,apologizingthatheneglectedtocheckhispersonalschedulebeforegoingonabriefbusinesstrip.Thesecond,Mr.Thom,hasmissedthreeofthelastsevensessions.

Instanceslikethesetwoprovidecounselorswithpersonalopportunitiestomodelwhatforgivenessisandisnot.Althoughthecounselorhastheright,accordingtothestatedofficepolicy,tochargeMr.Greggsforhismissedappointment,choosingnottochargecommunicatesapersonalwillingnesstoforgive.Thecounselormayrecognizethatshealsoforgetsthingsoccasionally,andinhumbleidentificationwithherclient,shechoosestoforgivethemissedappointment.Thisistheessenceofforgiveness:choosingtoidentifywithMr.Greggs,thenreleasinghimfromtherightfulconsequencesofhisactions.

ThesituationwithMr.Thomisdifferent.Hiscounselorhasalreadydemonstrateda

willingnesstoforgive,notcharginghimforhisfirsttwomissedappointments.ButMr.Thomappearsunawareorunconcernedabouttheconsequencesofhiscontinuedirresponsibility.Forgivingisnotthesameasexcusing,overlooking,orcondoning.ThecounselorisconcernedthatMr.Thomistakingadvantageofherforgivingspirit.ThisisanalogoustowhatDietrichBonhoeffercalls“cheapgrace,”misunderstandingGod’sforgivenessasjustificationforself-centeredliving.Bonhoefferdescribescheapgraceas“thedeadlyenemyofthechurch.”312SomethingsimilartocheapgraceseemstobeadetrimentforMr.Thom,whohasdifficultymaintainingstableemployment,remainingcommittedinrelationships,andfollowingthroughonfinancialresponsibilities.BecauseofherconcernthatMr.Thomlearntorespectherboundariesandhisresponsibilities,thecounselorchoosestochargeforthemissedsession.Inbothcasesthecounselormakesapersonalchoiceregardingprofessionalpolicy.

Counselorsoftenhaveopportunitiestoliveouttheessenceofforgiveness,butitrequirescarefullybalancingaforgivingspiritwithacommitmenttojusticeandpersonalresponsibility.Ifweleantoofarinonedirection,webecomeharshandunforgivinginourprofessionalmannerandpolicies,makingitdifficulttomodelaforgivingspiritforourclients,manyofwhomareworkingtoforgiveothers.Ifweleantoofarintheotherdirection,weriskbeingnaiveandgullible,andweunwittinglymodelexcusingorcondoningratherthantrueforgiveness.313

Challenge3:ExpandedDefinitionsofTrainingAswithothertopicsconsideredinthisbook,learninghowtohandleforgivenessinthecounselingofficeisnottypicallyincludedingraduateschoolcurricula.314Inspiteofthis,forgivenessisoneofthemostfrequentlyusedreligiousinterventionsamongChristiancounselors.MembersoftheChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies(CAPS)reportusingconceptsofforgivenesswithmorethanhalftheirclients.315ThisprobablymeansthatmostChristiancounselorsuseon-the-job-trainingtolearnthebestwaystoimplementforgivenessintheircounselingwork.

Counselorswhofindsuccessfulwaystoimplementforgivenessintheircounselingsometimesreporttheirideasinjournalsandbooks.Forexample,EverettWorthington,Jr.,andFrederickDiBlasioreportedtheirideaofaspecificforgivenesssessionintheirworkwithcouples.316Bothspousesprepareforthesessionseveralweeksinadvance,concentratingontheirownerrorsandneedforforgiveness.Intheforgivenesssession,eachconfesseswrongdoingandseeksforgivenessfromtheother.WorthingtonandDiBlasioillustratethetechniquewithacaseexample.Severalothershavealsoreportedtheirforgivenesscounselingmethodsinwriting,aninvestmentthathelpsothercounselorsintheirwork.317

Inadditiontoreadingwhatothercounselorsdo,counselorscangrowintheirabilitytouseforgivenessincounselingastheygrowspiritually.Theideaofforgivenessseemsstrange

andforeigntothosewhohavenotexperiencedGod’sforgiveness.ButforthosewhoknowGod’sgrace,forgivenessisavitalpartofspiritualmaturity.Tomodelforgivenesstoourclientsandtounderstandforgivenessinourownlives,wemustfirstunderstandhowmuchwehavebeenforgiven.

Perhapsthebesttrainingforforgivenessinourpersonalandprofessionallivesisfoundinthespiritualdisciplineofconfession.Honestconfessionbringsustothatplaceofhumilitywhereweunderstandhowmuchweneedforgivenessandhowmuchwehavebeenforgiven.Withoutconfession,weminimizeourfaultsandsometimesevenfeelsmugaboutourcapacitytoforgiveothers.Thosewhounderstandforgivenessthebesthavestaredintentlyattheirsin,criedouttoGodintheirneed,andbeenamazedatthemiracleofGod’sgrace.

Thedisciplineofconfessionbringscounselorstoapointofpersonalhumility.Thoughcounselorsdonotbringtheirconfessionstothecounselingoffice,theydobringtheirhumility,aqualitythatpromotestrustandrapportandsafetyincounselingrelationshipsandmakesclientswillingtoconfesstheirneedsandstruggles.Forgivenessandcounselinggotogetherwellwhenthecounselingofficeisasafeplaceforclientstoconfesstheirstruggles,bitterness,troublingemotions,andnaggingsins.Confessionpromoteshumility,andhumilitypromotesinterpersonalforgiveness.

Challenge4:ConfrontingDominantViewsofMentalHealthThoughreligiouscounselorsdiscussforgivenesswiththeirclientsmorefrequentlythannonreligiouscounselors,dominantviewsofmentalhealthappeartobeshiftingtowardgreateracceptanceofforgivenessregardlessofthecounselor’sreligiousorientation.318SeveralimportantarticlesaboutforgivenesshavebeenpublishedinPsychotherapy,ajournalpublishedbyadivisionoftheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation(APA).Anumberoftherapistsarewritingaboutthebenefitsofforgiveness,thoughtheyarenotthemselvesreligious.Thisisgoodnews!Orisit?

Thecurrenttrendinthepsychologicalliteratureistoabandonthereligioussignificanceofforgivenesssothatitmightbemoreacceptabletononreligiousclientsandtherapists.Unfortunately,thissometimesresultsinsubtlebutimportantchangesinone’sunderstandingofforgiveness.InChristiantradition,forgivenessisextendedfromonepersontoanotheroutofgratitudeforGod’sforgiveness.Incontemporarypsychology,forgivenessisoftenawayfortheforgivertofeelbetter,anunloadingofemotionalbaggage.Onepsychotherapistdescribesforgivenessasalogicaldecision:“Tooptforaforgivingattitudeistoseethatwhileonthelevelofimmediateexperiencethereissomecatharsisinventingfeelingsofangerandvengeance,toholdontothesefeelingsandfantasies,tocathectthemwithenergy,overthelongtermisself-defeating.”319

Tothesecularpsychotherapist,forgivenessmaybelogical,buttotheChristian,forgivenessisnotlogicalatall.Forgivenessoriginatesinthesurpriseofhistory:the

incredible,stunning,miraculousactofadivineSaviorhangingonacrossanddyingforsinfulhumans.AllChristianvirtue,includingthecapacitytoforgive,emanatesfromthisillogicalevent.EdwinZackrison,atheologian,describesthiswell:“JustasnothinginusmotivatesGodtoforgive,sonothinginothersmotivatesustoforgive.Suchanattitudecanonlybebornintheheartofonewhohasexperiencedsuchforgiveness.”320

Oneformofforgiveness,thetypethatisbecomingpopularincounseling,isbasedonlogicandself-protection:“IwillforgiveyoubecauseIrefusetoletyouroffenseshurtmeanymore.”Theother,thetypeweseeinChristianity,isbasedonpersonalinsightandhumbleidentification:“IwillforgiveyoubecauseIalsohavebeenforgivenofmuch.”Thoughwecallbothforgiveness,theyaredifferentenoughtowarrantdifferentnames.

Challenge5:EstablishingaScientificBaseBeforewecanstudyforgivenesswell,weneedprecisewaystomeasureforgiveness.Severalresearchershavebeenworkingonwaystomeasureforgiveness,mostoftheminterestedinwhetherornotpeoplearewillingtoseekandgrantinterpersonalforgiveness.321Giventhevarietyofperspectivesthatarefoundinthementalhealthfield,itmaybeequallyimportanttoknowwhysomepeoplearewillingtoforgive.

KatherynRhoadsMeek,adoctoralstudentatWheatonCollege,isdevelopingascaletoassesswhysomepeoplechoosetoforgive.TheReasonsforForgivenessScale,whichmustbeadministeredbycomputer,firstgivesrespondentsscenariosinwhichinterpersonalforgivenessisonepossibleresponse.ThescenariosareadaptedfromtheWillingnesstoForgivescalethatwasdevelopedanddescribedbyHeblandEnright.322Thoserespondentswhochooseforgivenessastheirresponsearethenaskedwhytheywouldforgive.Respondentsrateeachofthefollowingmotivesonafour-pointscale,rangingfromnotatallimportanttoextremelyimportant.

ReasonsforForgivenessScale1.Forgivenesshelpsmegetonwithmylife.OtherwiseIwouldthinkaboutitallthetime.

2.Iwanttokeeppeaceinourrelationship.3.Iunderstandwhyhe/shedidit(goingthrougharoughtime,personalissues,etc.).

4.I’vedonebadthingstooandhavebeenforgiven.5.Ilovethisperson.6.It’snotthatbigadeal.7.IfIhadbehaveddifferently,itwouldn’thavehappened.8.Forgivenessistherightthingtodo.

Someofthesemotivesreflectself-blame,excusing,orcondoningmorethanforgiveness.Somereflectself-servingreasonsforforgiveness,andothersreflecthumbleidentification.AninitialreliabilitystudyhasprovidedpromisingsupportfortheReasonsforForgivenessScale,andadditionalstudiesarebeingplanned.Understandingvariousmotivesforforgivenessmayhelpotherresearchersdesignhelpfulstudiesinthefuture.

IfChristiansunderstandforgivenessdifferentlyfromothersinthementalhealthfield,itseemsreasonabletoexpectthatforgivenessinChristiancounselingmaytakeadifferentformandhaveresultsthataredifferentfromthewayforgivenessisusedinotherformsofcounseling.Todate,noresearchcomparingChristianandnon-Christianformsofforgivenesshasbeenreported.TheReasonsforForgivenessScaleisanimportantstepinthisdirection.

Challenge6:DefiningRelevantEthicalStandardsCounselorshaveanethicalobligationtoprovidecost-effectiveservicesfortheirclients.Shorttreatmentprotocolsarepreferredbyinsurancecompaniesandbymostpeopleseekinghelp.Thiscreatesanethicaltensionforcounselorsinterestedinforgiveness.

Ononehand,ifcounselorshurrytheirwork,especiallyworkrelatedtoforgiveness,theymaysettleforasuperficial,intellectualizedformofforgivenessratherthanonebasedondeepunderstanding.Irememberhelpingoneclientwritealetterofforgivenesstoaparent;thenseveralmonthslatershebegantouncoverrepressedmemoriesofsexualabusebythesameparent.Shewasnotreadytoforgivefullybecauseshehadnotyetfullyunderstoodwhatshewasforgiving.Hurriedforgivenesscarriestheriskofbeingshallowandtemporary.

Ontheotherhand,iftherapistswaituntilclientsbringupthetopicofforgiveness,therapymaytakelongerthannecessary.Someclientsseemtoflourishinthepatientrole,especiallyiftheyareencouragedtoseethemselvesasvictims.Someclientswillevenunconsciouslyfabricate“repressed”memoriesinordertomaintainthecomfortofthecounselingrelationship.Inthesecases,thecounselormustgentlynudgetheclienttowardforgiveness.Strikingabalancebetweenpatienceandgoaldirectednessisachallengingpartofforgivenesscounseling.

Arelatedethicalchallengecomesinrecognizingthatnotallclientshavetheemotionalabilitytoforgive,atleastnotuntilsignificantemotionalgrowthoccurs.Oftenthosewhohavethemosttoforgive,becausetheyhavebeenvictimizedasyoungchildren,arevulnerabletothephenomenonofsplitting.Withsplitting,theyneatlydividetheworldintotwogroups:thegoodpeopleandthebadpeople.Goodpeoplecandonowrong,andbadpeoplecandonoright.Thosepronetosplittingfindforgivenessvirtuallyimpossible.323Ifacounselorpushesforgivenessontoaclientpronetosplitting,thecounselorendsupbeingviewedasbadandtheclientterminatescounseling.Thus,acompetentcounselingapproachrequireshelpingtheseclientsgrowbeyondtheirprimitivedefensesbeforeattemptingtoworkonforgiveness.

SummaryForgivenessisanincreasinglypopulartopicamongcounselors.Althoughthisisanencouragingtrend,itisimportanttorememberthataChristianunderstandingofforgivenessmaydifferfromthewaysothersunderstandforgiveness.WhenforgivenesstechniquesareusedinChristiancounseling,theyshouldbeconsideredinthecontextofself-awareness,empathy,humility,andinsight,andnotjustasawayforaclienttoexperienceemotionalrelief.Ourcapacitytoforgiveoneanotherdepends,atleasttosomeextent,onourcapacitytounderstandbothourneedforforgivenessandGod’sgraciousgiftofforgiveness.ThistypeofhealingbringsapersonintoadeeperrelationshipwithGodandothers.

UponReflection

Sincethisbookwasfirstpublished,anincrediblepaceofactivityhasensuedinthescientificstudyofforgiveness.Majorgrantprogramshavebeenestablished,morethanathousandstudieshavebeenpublishedinthescientificliterature,andthetopichasfounditswayintomajormediacoverageaswell.Oneoftheworld’sforemostexpertsonthescienceofforgivenessisacommittedChristian,Dr.EverettWorthington.Hisworkisthoughtful,scientificallyrigorous,andalwaysworthreading.

Iamdelightedwiththisflurryofscientificactivityonthetopicofforgiveness,butstillIamremindedofthequestionsKatherynMeekandIaskedinthischapterbackin1996aboutsecularizingforgiveness(seechallenge#4).Forgivenessisagoodthing,whetherofferedinthenameofChristornot,butIquestionwhetheritisthesamethingifitisnotofferedinthenameofChrist.InthisupdateIwillfocusonadistinctivelyChristianviewofforgiveness,includingadiscussionofforgivenessandempathy,andprayerandforgiveness.

ForgivenessandEmpathyIfIforgivesomeonewhohurtsme,thatisagoodthingforme.Ifeellessburdenedbyanger,alightnessreturnstomystep,andmyoverallhealthislikelytoimprove.324Theseareallgoodoutcomesforforgiveness,andtheyofferjustificationforforgiveness-basedcounseling.ButfromaChristianperspective,themotivegoesdeeper,summarizedbytheapostlePaul’sinstructionstoChristiansinRome:“AccepteachotherjustasChristhasacceptedyousothatGodwillbegivenglory”(Romans15:7,NLT).HowhasChristacceptedus?Withamazingloveandcompassion,withgraceandforgiveness.Andsowearecalledtoextendthissamesortofacceptancetooneanother,notmerelysothatourpersonalhealthwillbebetter,butbecausedoingsowillbringglorytoGod.Thissortofforgivenessrequiresustoseethatweareallverymuchthesame—allfragileandbrokenbyoursinfulstate,allwoundedbyourownpastchoicesandbythechoicesofothers,andallyearningforlove.FromthisplaceofChristianempathy,wecanofferforgivenesstooneanotherbecausewehavebeenforgivensomuch.

Youmaybesensingatheme,asIalsodiscussedempathyinthechapter5update.ThelongerIhavedonethisworkofChristiancounseling,themoreconvincedIamthatempathyisessential.Beyondcounseling,IalsothinkempathyiscriticallyimportantinhowweliveinChristiancommunity.Weoftentalkaboutcounselorsbeingempathic,butitisalsoimportanttoconsiderourclients’abilitytobeempathic.KatherynMeekandIrefertothisas“humbleidentification”inthischapter(seechallenge#1).Toexplorethisfurther,andfromacontemporaryperspective,let’sreturnforamomenttothecounselingexampleIofferedinthechapter5update:

Client:Idon’tknowifIcaneverforgiveher.It’sbeentwoyearssincethedivorce,butIstillwakeupatnightinthispanickedstate,thinkingI’vehadanightmare,onlytorealizethatitreallyhappened.Shereallyleft.

Inthechapter5updateweconsideredhowaChristiandoctrineofsinmighthelpthecounselorexperienceempathyforthisclient,butnoticethattheclienthimselfmayalsohaveaneedforgreaterempathy.Yes,hiswifelefthim,andthistrulyisaterribleandsinfulthing.Butnoticehowexternallyfocusedtheclientremains,eventwoyearsaftersheleft.Hisunforgivenessisalmostcertainlyrelatedtobeingstuck,perhapsobsessivelyso,inblaminghisformerwife.

Ifyouhavebeeninacounselingsituationsuchasthisone,yourecognizethedilemma.Thisclienthasexperiencedtremendouspain,andprobablyinjustice,too.Tosuggestthattheclientshouldbeempathictowardhisoffendermaytrivializehispain,andyetforgivenessisimportant,bothforthesakeoftheKingdomofGodandtohelpthistraumatizedmanmoveonwithhislife.

EverettWorthingtonhassuggestedafive-step-processmodelofforgiveness,withempathyfortheoffenderbeingthesecondstep.325Processmodelshaveprovenhighlyeffectiveincounselinginterventions.326Worthington’smodel,knownastheREACHmodel,involves(R)recallingthehurt,(E)empathizingwiththeoffender,offeringthe(A)altruisticgiftofforgiveness,(C)committingtoforgive,and(H)holdingontothecommitment.Noticeinthismodelthatitisimportanttogiveourclientsampleroomtoexperiencethepainofanoffensebeforetryingtomoveontoempathy.Otherwiseforgivenessischeapenedintodenial,Christianplatitude,orboth.Butthisclienthasspenttwoyearsrecallinghishurt,sowhatisthecounselortodo?

Movingaclienttowardempathyistypicallybestasagentlenudgeratherthanasaforcefulsuggestion.Considerthefollowingpossibleresponsesthatacounselormightmake:

Option1:Yes,shedidaterriblethingtoyou.Iseewhyyoucanneverforgiveher.

Option2:Ithinkit’stimethatyoumoveforwardtowardforgiveness.

Option3:Thishasbeenalongjourneyforyou.Iwonderwhatthenextstepwilllooklike.

Option1isanexpressionofempathyfromthecounselortowardtheclient,butitisnotthebestoptionbecauseitperpetuatestheclient’sbeliefthatforgivenessisimpossible.Option2isbetter,thoughmanyclientswouldfeelpressuredorcorneredbysuchacomment.Thoughintendedtomovetheclientforwardtowardaplaceofgreaterempathyandforgiveness,itcommunicateslittleempathyfromthecounselortotheclient.Option3doesboth,modelingempathyonthepartofthecounselorwhilegentlyremindingtheclientthathehasmoreworktodo.

Atsomepointinafuturesessionthecounselormayhelptheclientmovetowardacommitmenttoforgive,butfornowthemost-importantstepforwardinvolvesbuildingempathy.Effectivecounselingnaturallyleadstoself-understanding,andthatshouldleadtoempathytowardothers.Whileitistruethattheclientisdeeplywoundedbyhiswife’schoicetoleave,hemayeventuallycometoapointofrecognizingthathewasnottheeasiestpersontobewith.Perhapshisangerandimpulsivenessmademarriagedifficult.Hisstruggleswithpornographymadeherfeelunwantedandtakenforgranted.Themoreclearlytheclientseeshimself,themorehewillunderstandwhyothersthinkandactastheydowhentheyarewithhim.Thoughgreaterself-understandingdoesnotexcusehiswife’schoicetoleavethemarriage,itmayatleasthelphimunderstandwhyshemighthavechosentodosuchathing.Eventuallyhemaytakestockofhisownmoralfailingsandrecognizethatheisalsocapable

ofhurtingotherswithhischoices.Astheclientgrowsinself-awareness,hisempathygrowstoo,andsodoeshisabilitytoforgive.

PrayerandForgivenessWithalltheattentiongiventoforgivenessoverthepasttwodecades,itissurprisingthatalmostnostudieshaveconsideredtherelationshipbetweenprayerandforgiveness.PerhapsthisreflectswhatKatherynandIwroteaboutin1996,thatsecularizingforgivenessmightresultinadifferentconstructthanwhatChristiansmeanbyforgiveness.WhensomedoctoralstudentsandIaskedonehundredChristianshowtheywentaboutforgivingasignificantinterpersonaloffense,halfofthemspontaneouslymentionedprayerwithoutoureventellingthemthatwewerestudyingtheroleofprayerinforgiveness.327Prayerjustrolledofftheirtongues—itwastheobviouswaytheywentaboutforgiving.Yetalmostnooneisstudyinghowprayerpromotesforgiveness.

RightinthemiddleofthemostfamousChristianprayerarethewords,“Forgiveusoursins,aswehaveforgiventhosewhosinagainstus”(Matthew6:12).I’mthankfulthatmoreChristiansarestartingtoattendtothis.Dr.SteveSandageatBethelSeminaryhaspublishedacoupleofstudiesonprayerandforgiveness,andoneofmydoctoralstudents,SarahVasiliauskas,justdefendedafascinatingdissertationonthetopic—astudythatwearenowsubmittingforpublication.

Sarahrecruitedasampleof411studentsatChristiancollegesthroughoutthecountry,andthenselectedthe241whoreportedexperiencingahighlysignificantpersonaloffense.Sherandomlyassignedparticipantstooneofthreegroups.Thefirstgroupreceiveddailydevotionalsviae-mailaboutwaysprayercanpromoteforgiveness.Thesecondgroupalsoreceiveddailydevotionals,buttheywerenotaboutforgiveness.Thethirdgroup,acontrolgroup,receivednoe-mails.Atthebeginningofthestudy,andagainattheendofthestudy,participantscompletedvariousquestionnaires.Membersofthefirsttwogroupsreportedincreasedforgivenessattheendofthestudy,butonlythefirstgroup—thoseintheprayerintervention—reportedenhancedempathytowardtheiroffenders.Giventheimportanceofempathyinforgiveness,thisisanimportantfinding.

Prayertakesoureyesoffourselvesandallowsustoalignourhearts—andourvision—withGod’s.Notsurprisingly,becominglesspreoccupiedwithourselvespromotesempathyforothers.“Thecommonthreadbetweenempathyandforgivenessistheother-centeredfocusratherthantheself-centeredfocus.”328Ourstrivingstowardbothempathyandforgivenessrequireustoturnoureyesfromourselvesandourpersonalhurttotheexperienceandlifeoftheother.Thiscanbesuchanoverwhelminggoalforthosewhohavebeendeeplyhurtandstruggletoforgive.Howblessedwearetohavethegiftofprayer,whichallowsustocommunewithGod,tobecomeawareofourownfallennessandwrongdoingsinrelationtoGod,andtoberemindedofoursharedhumanitywiththosewhohavewoundedus.Forthose

withdeepwounds,thisworkwilloccurovermanyyearsandwillultimatelyleadtorenewedcompassion,understanding,empathy,andforgiveness.

AsbeautifulasIfindthisconnectionbetweenprayerandforgiveness,itisstillnoeasymattertodecidehowprayerisbestusedinChristiancounseling(seechapter3).FromaChristiantheologicalperspective,weunderstandthatasourclientsspendtimewithGodinprayer,theyaredrawnclosertotheheartofGod.Ourclients’capacityandpropensityformendingtheirrelationshipsandpursuinghealthyrelationalqualitiesincreasewhentheyarespendingtimewithGod.Still,prayerincounselingcanbeeasilymisused.Referringtotheunforgivingclientdiscussedearlier,whatifthecounselorsaidthis?

Counselor:Thishasbeenalongjourneyforyou.Let’stakeafewmomentsnowandpraytogetheraboutwhatGodhasforyounext.

Thismayturnouttobealovelyintervention.Perhapsinafewmomentsofquiet,prayerfulreflection,theclientmaymoveclosertowardtheforgivingheartofChrist.LedbytheHolySpirit,aChristiancounseloroughttoremainopentomomentsofprayerincounseling.Thatsaid,aprayerinterventionsuchasthisonemightalsohinderbothgodlinessandforgiveness.Perhapstheclientwillperceivethisasforcefulorcoerciveonthepartofthecounselor.Sittingwitheyesclosed,theclientmaybethinkingmoreaboutthecounselorthanaboutGod:WhatamIsupposedtobethinkingorsaying?Prayerinsessionrequiresgreatdiscernmentandsensitivityonthepartofthecounselor.

Forthosewhoarecautiousaboutprayingaloudroutinelyinsession,asIam,hereisanalternative:whatifwehelpourclientsviewcounselingasprayer?Throughgentlewords,strategicmomentsofsilence,referencestotheclients’spiritualjourney,andanattitudeofrespectandgrace,counselorscancommunicatethesacrednatureofthefifty-minutehour.TheexperienceofseeingselfinrelationtoGodpullsthebelievertoanother-focusedperspectivethatmay,inturn,drawtheclienttowardanotherperspectiveonlife,essentiallyGod’sperspective.Inthissense,therapy,likeprayerinSarah’sstudy,helpsourclientsbecomemoreattunedtotheotherandmoreawareofGod’spresence.

Theremayalsobetimestosuggestthatourclientsspendtimeinprayeroutsideofsessions.Returningtothepreviousexample,thecounselormightsaysomethinglikethisattheendofthesession:

Counselor:Let’strysomethingthisweek,andthenwe’lltalkaboutitnextweekwhenwemeet.Whenyouwakeupinthatpanickedstate,takeamomenttolieprayerfullyinGod’spresence.YoumayhavesomethingstosaytoGod,andthat’sfine,butbesuretoliestillenoughtolisten.Justbreathe,bestill,restinGod’spresence.Thenwe’lldiscussitnexttimewetalk.

Ahomeworkassignmentsuchasthismightintroducethebenefitsofprayer—benefitsthatincludebutextendfarbeyondforgiveness—withoutintroducingtheriskofcoercionormiscommunicationthatsometimesoccurswithin-sessionprayer.Still,theremaybetimeswherein-sessionprayeristherightchoice.AsChristiancounselorsweneedtobepeopleofgodlydiscernment,astutelyawareofhowourclientsexperienceus,andopentothepromptingsoftheHolySpirit.

FinalThoughtsAseachofusjourneystowardwholeness,andaswehelpclientsontheirjourneys,wefindthatunforgivenessandforgivenessareentwinedinourspiritualpilgrimageandourrelationshipwithGod.Forgivenessisfarmorethanaclinicaltechnique.Forgivenessemergesfromalifestyle,awayofbeing.Ifwehavefosteredcompassionandempathythroughlifeexperience,spiritualdisciplines,andtheologicalreflection,wearemoreopentoforgivingothersevenwhentheoffenseisgreat.Towhateverextentcounselingmodelsandpromotesempathy,italsoopensthepossibilityofforgiveness.

AcknowledgmentSarahL.Vasiliauskashelpedmewritethisupdate.SarahmovedfromPortlandtoPortland(MainetoOregon)todoherdoctoralworkatGeorgeFox,whereshehasbeenavitalpartofmyresearchteam.Inadditiontobeinganoutstandingclinician,shehasprovidednotablematerialthroughherdissertationresearch,describedinthisupdate,helpingusunderstandtheimportanceofprayerinforgiveness.

AdditionalReadingEverettL.WorthingtonJr.,ForgivingandReconciling:BridgestoWholenessandHope(DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPress,2003).

BibliographyLawler,KathleenA.,JarredW.Younger,RachelL.Piferi,RebeccaL.Jobe,KimberleyA.Edmondson,andWarrenH.Jones.“TheUniqueEffectsofForgivenessonHealth:AnExplorationofPathways.”JournalofBehavioralMedicine28(2005):157–167.

Lundahl,BradW.,MaryJaneTaylor,RyanStevenson,andK.DanielRoberts.“Process-BasedForgivenessInterventions:AMeta-AnalyticReview.”ResearchonSocialWorkPractice18(2008):465–478.

McMinn,MarkR.,HeathFervida,KeithA.Louwerse,JenniferL.Pop,RyanD.Thompson,BobbyL.Trihub,andSusanMcLeod-Harrison.“ForgivenessandPrayer.”Journalof

PsychologyandChristianity27(2008):101–109.Welton,GaryL.,PeterC.Hill,andKevinS.Seybold.“ForgivenessintheTrenches:Empathy,PerspectiveTaking,andAnger.”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity27(2008):168–177.

Worthington,EverettL.,Jr.ForgivingandReconciling:BridgestoWholenessandHope.DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPress,2003.

8

Redemption

ThroughoutthisbookIhavereferredtoreligiousinterventionsinChristiancounseling,butIhaverarelydiscussedhowtheymightbeappliedinworkingwiththosewhoarenotChristians.Forexample,non-ChristianclientswillhaveanunderstandingofsinandconfessionthatisdifferentfromthatofChristianclients.ForgivenessmayseemunnecessarytothosewhohavenotexperiencedtheblissofChrist’sgrace.Prayingroutinelywithnon-Christianclientsmightraisetheclients’defensesandsuspicions.Sowhat,ifanything,isdistinctaboutChristiancounselingwhenworkingwiththosewhoarenotChristians?

Furthermore,someChristianclientscometocounselingwithproblemsthathavelittletodowiththeirreligiousvaluesorbeliefs.Justastheirnon-Christiancounterpartsdo,Christiancounselorsmayusesystematicdesensitizationtotreatphobias,cognitiverestructuringtotreatdysthymia,andschema-orientedtreatmentsforpersonalitydisorders.DoesChristiancounselingfortheseclientslookdifferentfromotherformsofcounseling?Otherthanspecificallyreligiousinterventions,asdescribedinpreviouschapters,IsuggesttherearetwodistinctiveelementsofChristiancounseling:identificationandaredemptiveworldview.Thesetwodistinctivescutacrossallclientproblemsandreligiousvalues.

Thefirstissimple:ChristiancounselorsidentifythemselvesasChristians.Ifreligiousvaluesaffecttheprocessandoutcomeofcounseling,aswebelievetheydo,thenweoughttofullyinformthoseseekingourservicesofourChristianvalues.329Iincludethefollowingstatementaspartofalongerinformed-consentformthatallclientsreadandsignbeforebeginningtreatment:

AnExampleofInformedConsentRegardingReligiousValuesIwilluseaformofcognitivetherapy.Wewillcarefullyexamineyourpersonalhistoryandcurrentcircumstancesinordertofindandrevisefaultythinkingpatternsandbeliefsthatcontributetoyoursymptoms.Bothyourpersonalvaluesandminewillaffectthewaysyourbeliefsareevaluated.Thus,itisimportantthatyouknowsomethingaboutmyvaluesandthatyouarefreetoquestionmeaboutmyvalueassumptionsatanytime.Ibelievemanybiological,psychosocial,andemotionalfactorscontributetopsychologicalproblems.AsaChristianpsychologist,Ibelievethatsomepsychologicalproblemsresultfromtheevilembeddedinhumannatureandinourculture.Peopleoftenexperienceproblemsasaresultofbeinghurtbyothers(pastorpresent),makingpoorchoices,undervaluingthingsthataretrulyimportant,andovervaluingthingsthatareunimportant.ItisnotessentialthatyousharemyChristianbeliefs,butyouhavetherighttoknowmyvalueassumptionsandarefreetodiscussthemwithmeatanytime.

Inadditiontoprovidingopportunityforinformedconsent,astatementsuchasthisopensanopportunityforChristiantruthtobeincarnatedinthetherapyrelationship.Iftherelationshipwiththetherapistishealingandinviting,thentheclientmaycometothinkofChristianityashealingandinviting.Thoughevangelismleadingtospiritualconversionisrarelyapartofcounseling,ahealthyChristian-counselingrelationshipoftenencouragesclientstoexplorereligiousvaluesandfaithduringandaftercounseling.Furthermore,anovertstatementaboutthecounselor’sChristianvaluesmakesspiritualityandreligionalegitimatetopicfortheclienttodiscuss.Oftenclientswillnotdiscusstheirreligiousbeliefsiftheyareunsureoftheircounselor’svalues.

TheseconddistinctionofChristiancounselingthatappliestoallclientsandallcounselingsituationsisourunderstandingofredemption,thetopicofthisfinalchapter.ThecentralexperienceofaChristian’slifeisaredemptiverelationshipwithJesusChrist—arelationshipthattransformsourunderstandingofhumanencounters,includingthoseinthecounselingoffice.

Redemptionmeanstheactofbuyingback,orrecoveringbypayingaprice.Forexample,notmanyyearsagopeoplecollectedgreenstampsthatcouldberedeemedformerchandise.Thesestamps,worthlessontheirown,weregivenvaluewiththeirpurchasingpower.Inthespiritualandinterpersonalrealms,redemptionmeansthathumans,brokenandbatteredbylife’strials,havevalueandmeaningrestoredtotheirlives.

OnlyGodofferseternalredemption.Humansconfesstheirsinandfindforgiveness,hope,andmeaninginGod’sgrace.Thoughspiritualredemptionisthemostimportanttypeof

redemptiontofind,humansarealsoabletoofferaformofinterpersonalredemptiontooneanother.Thishuman-to-humanredemptionisacommonpartofChristianmercyandChristiancounseling.

Forthepurposesofthischapter,aredemptiveworldviewincounselingisdefinedasasetofbeliefs,values,andassumptionsthatcauseusnotonlytoreflecthumblyandgratefullyonhowGodisdrawingusoutofourcaptivitytosinbutalsotomotivateustohelprestoreotherstohopeandwholeness.Noticethatspiritualredemptionandhumanredemptionarecloselyrelated.WhenweareredeemedbyChrist,rescuedfromourself-destructiveandfutileways,webecomemoreinterestedinlivingoutourfaithinredemptiverelationshipswithothers.WeareGod’shandsandfeetinaworldthatneedstoberescuedfromthepervasiveeffectsofhumandepravity.SomepeoplebelievethathumanactsofredemptionwillultimatelyimprovetheworldandbringGod’skingdomtoearth.OthersbelievethathumanactsofredemptionareimportantinsofarastheypointotherstowardaredemptiverelationshipwithGod.Ineithercase,theredemptivenatureofthecounselingrelationshipisapracticalwayofrespondingtoGod’stransformingmercy.

WhatIfThisHappened?

DawnTroddenisincounselingwithMs.Hope,alaycounselorinachurch-basedministry.Dawnhashadahardlife.Shewasabusedasachild,wasabandonedinherfirstmarriage,andhasbouncedfromjobtojoboverthelastseveralyears.Dawnhascomplicatedherlifewithsomebadchoices,includingpromiscuityandalcoholabuse.Shecameforcounselingfeelingdepressedandhopeless.

Ms.HopeisacaringChristiancounselorwholistenswellandcaresdeeplyforherclients.ShelikesDawnandfeelsconfidentthatDawnwilleventuallybeginfeelingbetterandmakingbetterdecisions.

Dawncannotexplainit,butsheoftenfeelsaforeignsenseofoptimismandenergyafterleavinghercounselingsessions.Forthefirsttimeinherlifeshefeelsunderstoodandvalued.Shameislooseningitsgriponherlifebecauseofthecounselingrelationship.Ms.HopeisspendingtimeandenergybuyingDawnbackfromthedehumanizingforcesofherpast.

Redemptionisfoundnotprimarilyincounselingtechniquesbutinthenatureofacaringcounselingrelationship.Thus,learningtobearedemptivecounselorrequiresmorethanlearningasetofskillsthatcanbetaughtinaclassroomorlistedinabook.Rather,thecapacitytoengageinredemptivecounselingrelationshipscomeswithpsychological,theological,andspiritualinsightandgrowth.

Foundations

PsychologyRedemptivepsychotherapyrelationshipscanbeviewedfromanumberofpsychologicalperspectives,dependingonone’stheoreticalpreferences.Thoughhumanactsofredemptioncanbeviewedasanimportantpartofpsychotherapywithinanytheoreticalframework,wewillconsiderthesethree:object-relations,Adlerian,andcognitivetherapy.

ObjectRelationsFromanobject-relationsperspective,ourcapacitytoseevalueinourselvesdependsonhowothershavetreatedusinthepast.Some,likeMs.Troddeninthepreviousexample,cometocounselingwithouteverknowingaredemptivehumanrelationshipbasedongraceandacceptance.

Object-relationstheoristsbelievethatweinternalizerolesfromearlyliferelationshipsandcarrythemwithusbytreatingourselvesandothersthesamewayswehavebeentreatedandhaveresponded.330Anabusedchild,suchasMs.DawnTrodden,internalizestheroleofabuserfrominteractionswithherabusiveparentandmaygrowuptoabuseherselforothers.Shealsointernalizestheroleofvictimandmayfrequentlycastherselforothersinavictimroleasanadult.ForclientslikeDawn,atherapyrelationshipbuiltontrustandrespectisradicallynewandinitiallydifficulttoaccept,buttherelationshipisultimatelytransforming.

Peoplewithanumberofrelativelyhealthyrelationshipsintheirpastareabletoaffirm,encourage,andlovethemselves;theyhavelearnedtheseskillsbybeingaffirmed,encouraged,andlovedbyothers.Sadly,somehavenothadaccesstohealthyrelationshipsandthereforehavenotlearnedappropriatewaysofcaringforthemselves.Fortheseclients,thenatureofthetherapeuticrelationshipisparamount.Astheylearntofindgraceandacceptancefromtheircounselor,theyalsolearntobenicertothemselves.331Theyarelearninganewskillfromatherapist,thenapplyingittotheirself-image.Thisistheessenceofgoodcounselingandofhumanredemption,buyingbackpeople’sdignitybyinvestingintheirlives,treatingthemwithrespectandaffirmation.

Counselorsserveas“transitionalobjects,”providingatemporaryrelationshipthathelpsclientsgaininsightandrelatebettertoothersinrelationshipsthataremorepermanentthancounselingrelationships.Inthissense,ChristiancounselorshelptheirclientsunderstandGodbydemonstratingredemption.Thisisnottosayweteachredemptionasaprofessorteachesaclassorapastorteachesacongregation,butweliveoutaredemptiverelationshipinthecounselingoffice.

AdlerianPsychologyAlfredAdlerpostulatedthathumansareconsumedwithadrivetowardselfishnessandsuperioritybecausetheyareplaguedwithanunderlyingsenseofweaknessandinferiority.Thegoaloftherapyistohelpclientsgaininsightintofeelingsofinferiority,befreedfromfutilemethodsofseekingdominanceandsuperiority,andadoptamoreempathetic,altruisticstyleoflife.Adlerdescribedthiscapacityforempathyandaltruismas“socialinterest.”

Adlerwroteaboutsuccessfullytreatingaschizophrenicpatient.Forthefirstthreemonths,thepatientwassilentintreatment.Adlerkeptmeetinghimweekafterweek.Afterthesilencebroke,thepatientabruptlyraisedhishandtohitAdler.Adlerdidnotdefendhimself.Onanotheroccasion,thepatientsmashedawindowduringasession.Adlerhelpedhimbandagehisbleedinghand,maintainingakindandfriendlyattitude.Thepatientimproved,andAdleraskedhimwhytreatmentwassuccessful.Heresponded,“Thatisquitesimple.Ihadlostallcouragetolive.InourconsultationsIfounditagain.”332ThispatientwasredeemedfromschizophreniathroughacounselingrelationshipwithAdler.

Adlerianpsychotherapistsattempttobringpeoplebackfromalifeofselfishambitionbydisplayingsocialinterestinthetherapyrelationship.ThisisanalogoustotheChristianconceptsofredemptionandgrace:thegoalofcounselingisredemption,andthemechanismforchangeisgrace.333Gracerequiresthecounselortobeunconditionallykindandnonauthoritarian,freeingtheclienttobreakthebondsofshameandinferiority.Empoweringgraceisredemptive.

CognitiveTherapyRecentdevelopmentsincognitivetherapyhaveaffirmedtheimportanceofaredemptivetherapeuticrelationship.Thoughsomecounselorsstillpracticecognitivetherapyasanexerciseinlogicandargument,mostcontemporarycognitivetherapistsrecognizetheimportanceofthetherapeuticalliance.334

Cognitivetherapistswanttochangetheunderlyingbeliefsoftheirclients.Forexample,letusimaginethatMs.Troddenhasthebeliefthatshewillultimatelyberejectedbyeveryone.Thisbeliefshapesherfeelingsandspecificthoughtsinanyrelationship,includingherrelationshipwithhercounselor,Ms.Hope.Becauseshebelievesshewillberejected,DawntriespushingMs.Hopeawayatseveralpointsduringcounseling.InthefifthsessionDawnexplodesinanger,screamingthatshewillnevercomebackforanothersession.Shemissestheeighthsessionentirely,hopinghercounselorwillcalltoseewhereshewas.InthetwentiethsessionshetriestomanipulateMs.Hopeintoloaninghermoney.Alltheseeffortsareteststoseeifherbeliefiscorrect:Willmycounselorrejectme?

HowsuccessfulwillitbeforMs.HopetotrytodissuadeDawnofherrejectionbeliefwithlogicalone?ItwillnotbesuccessfulbecauseDawndidnotarriveatherbeliefwithlogic;itwastheproductofdeepemotionalscarsandchildhoodlossesthatoccurredbefore

shewascapableofadultlogic.Herbeliefswillbechangedthesamewaytheywereestablished—throughrelationships.

Contemporarycognitivetherapistsassessclients’beliefsandassumptionsandthendeliberatelyliveoutrolesthatdefythoseassumptions.Toclientswhobelievetheymustbeperfecttobeloved,thecognitivetherapistisnonchalantwhentheclientshowsuptenminuteslateforanappointmentandmayevenseeitasasignofprogress.Toclientswhobelievetheyareworthlessandunimportant,thecognitivetherapistisunusuallyattentiveandaffirming.Toclientswhobelievetheymustmaintaincontrolatallcosts,thecognitivetherapistisassertiveandbold.Ineachcasethenatureofthetherapeuticrelationshipisspecificallychosentoberedemptiveforthespecificclientwithaspecificsetofdysfunctionalbeliefs.

CaveatsTwowarningsareinorder.First,althoughdiscussingredemptivetherapeuticrelationshipscreatesapleasantpictureofcounseling,wemustbecarefulnottobecomeoverconfidentorarrogantinourroleoflivingoutredemption.ManyoftheabusesofcounselingoccurwhencounselorsbeginconfusingthemselveswithGod.WearehumanandcanoffernothingofeternalsignificancewithoutGod.Second,counselorsarepeopletooandcomeintothecounselingofficewiththeirowndamagefrompastrelationships.Forexample,anationalsurveyofclinicalandcounselingpsychologistsrevealedthattwo-thirdsofthewomenandone-thirdofthemenhadbeenabusedphysicallyorsexually.335Thosewhohavenotbeensexuallyorphysicallyabusedhavefacedotherproblemsthataffecttheirabilitiestoperceiveothersaccuratelyandtreatthemwithrespectandkindness.Evencounselorswhohavegonethroughprolongedpersonaltherapycontinuetohaveblindspots;weareallaffectedbypersonalanduniversalsin.Thissuggeststhatcounselorscannotmodelredemptionperfectly.Weneedtokeeplookingbeyondourselvestounderstandredemption.

ChristianTheology

ARedemptiveFunnelInScriptureweseewhatwemightcallaredemptivefunnel,asshowninfigure6.NearthebeginningoftheOldTestament,redemptionisageneralconcept,butbytheendoftheNewTestamentithasbecomequitespecificandfocused.336Inthegeneralsense,weseeGodredeemingpeoplefromvarioustypesofcorporateandpersonaldistress,includingslavery,poverty,plague,andoppression.Inmostcases,Godprovidedthistypeofgeneralredemptionthroughotherhumans.Forexample,GodraisedupMosestoredeemtheHebrewsfromalifeofslavery.GodusedRahabtoredeemthelifeoftwoofJoshua’sspies(Josh.2);thenGodusedJoshuatoredeemRahab’slife(Josh.6).AstheOldTestamentprogresses,weseeincreasingemphasisonGodredeemingpeoplefromsin,callingthemoutofalifeofdarknessandself-deceptionintoalifeofobedienceandfaithfulness.David,kingofIsraelandpsalmist,proclaimed,“BlesstheLord,Omysoul,anddonotforgetallhisbenefits—whoforgivesallyouriniquity,whohealsallyourdiseases,whoredeemsyourlifefromthePit,whocrownsyouwithsteadfastloveandmercy,whosatisfiesyouwithgoodaslongasyoulivesothatyouryouthisrenewedliketheeagle’s”(Ps.103:2-5,italicsadded).ThistypeofredemptioncomesdirectlyfromGod—onlyGodhealsourdiseasesandoffersfullforgivenessforsins.

IntheNewTestament,redemptionbecomesevenmorespecificasitispersonifiedinJesusChrist.Jesuspaidtheransomforhumansinandtherebyredeemedus.“Christredeemedusfromthecurseofthelawbybecomingacurseforus—foritiswritten,‘Cursediseveryonewhohangsonatree’—inorderthatinChristJesustheblessingofAbrahammightcometotheGentiles,sothatwemightreceivethepromiseoftheSpiritthroughfaith”(Gal.3:13-14).

TheclimaxofScriptureisseenintheendingpointofthisredemptivefunnel:GodredeemedusthroughthesacrificialworkofJesus.RedemptionthroughChrististhecentralthemeofaChristian’sspirituallife,deliveringusfromthecurseofeternaldeathandfreeingustoliveanabundantlifeinChrist.TheapostlePauldescribedredemptionvividly:“Youweredeadthroughthetrespassesandsins....ButGod,whoisrichinmercy,outofthegreatlovewithwhichhelovedusevenwhenweweredeadthroughourtrespasses,madeusalivetogetherwithChrist”(Eph.2:1,4-5).

SeeingBothEndsoftheFunnelRecognizingChrist’sredemptionisessentialforChristianfaith,butitisalsoimportanttorememberbothendsofthisredemptiveprocess.ThroughouthistoryGodhasusedhumansasambassadorsofredemption.ThenarrativeofScripturetellsanimportantstoryofGod’ssustaininganationthroughbothdivineandhumanactsofprovisionandgrace.

ThestoryofeveryChristianoughttobesimilar.Theclimaxofourindividuallivesis

foundintheredemptiveworkofChrist,butaswelookonourpersonalhistories,weseemuchmore.ItisnotjustthatGodsavedallhumanityfromsintwothousandyearsagoandthenstoppedactingredemptively.Godcontinuallyredeemspeoplefrompoverty,isolation,loneliness,emptiness,depression,alienation,andsin.ThesegeneralactsofredemptionareshoweredonusasweseeGodworkingthroughcircumstancesandotherpeopletosustainusthroughdifficulttimesandtimesofprosperity.Godiswithus.337

HumansareoftenGod’sagentsforthisgeneraltypeofredemption.Ofcourse,wecanneverprovideredemptionatthenarrowendofthefunnel,whereChristredeemsusfromoursins,butwhenredemptionisseenasfreeingpeoplefromhardships,humanscanparticipatewithGod.AseachofusrecallsGod’ssustaining,redemptiveworkinourlives,werecallpeople—thosewhohavegivenanencouragingword,anexhortation,anactofkindnessatstrategicmoments.Godisdoingtheredeeming,butheoftenworksthroughpeople.RecognizingGod’ssustaining

andredeemingpresence,seenthroughrelationshipswithothers,encouragesustobeagentsofredemptioninaneedyworld.

Thetragedyofthesplitbetweensocial-gospelChristiansandfundamentalistChristiansearlyinthetwentiethcenturyisthatonegroupseemeddeterminedtoviewonlyoneendofthefunnel,insistingthattheredemptiveworkofChristdeservesourexclusiveattention,whiletheothergroupseemedequallydeterminedtoviewonlytheotherendofthefunnel,oftenequatingsalvationwithhumanactsofkindness.InScriptureweseebothendsofthisfunnel.RedemptionculminatesintheworkofChrist;itistheonlywaytoGod.YetChrist’sredemptioncallsustoactionintheworldaroundus.

Bothendsofthefunnelareessential.Adecadebeforethefundamentalism–socialgospelsplit,J.StuartHolden,authorofRedeemingVision,preachedthat“theGospelofChrististhegospelofaction.ItnotonlycallsuponmentobelieveastatementbutalsotofollowaSaviour.ItsgeniusisnotadherencetoaplanbutobediencetoaMan.Itemphasizesdoingsratherthandoctrines,andoffersacreedonlyasthefoundationofacharacter.”338

JohnWesleysawreligiousaffectionsasthecommondenominatorbetweenGod’sactofredemptioninChristandhumanactsofmercyandkindness.339Whenweunderstandthat

Christdiedtoredeemusfromsin,ouraffectionsareturnedtowardGodinlovingappreciation.OldwaysofthinkingareburstapartasweseeGod’skindnessandgrace.Thesesameaffectionsalsoengageusintheworldaroundusasweareledtoactsofmercy.

Intheeighteenthcentury,JonathanEdwardsobserved,“Apersonwhohasaknowledgeofdoctrineandtheologyonly—withoutreligiousaffection—hasneverengagedintruereligion.”340Whatistruereligion?“ReligionthatispureandundefiledbeforeGod,theFather,isthis:tocarefororphansandwidowsintheirdistress,andtokeeponeselfunstainedbytheworld”(James1:27).

OnceweunderstandtheflowofGod’sredemptionthroughhistory,culminatingintheworkofChrist,andonceweletthisunderstandingsaturateouraffectionsandpassions,wealsorecognizethattheprocessofredemptioncallsustoredemptiverelationshipswithothers.

SpiritualityItisclearfromtheprecedingsectionthatthetheologicalmeaningofredemptionismultifaceted.RedemptionisatonceahistoricalrealityculminatinginChrist’satoningwork,apersonaleventthatoccursatthemomentofsalvation,andalifelongprocessofspiritualgrowthleadingtopersonalpietyandsocialaction.Thoughalloftheseareessentialpartsofredemption,thedisciplinesofspiritualformationareprimarilyfocusedontheprocessofredemptionandpurificationtowhichChristcallsus.ItisnotthatwebecomemoreredeemedaswegrowspirituallybutthatwebecomemoreawareofourRedeemer,moredeeplyburdenedbythepersistentsinsthatvisitus,morepassionateaboutfindinghiswill,andmorecomfortableingrantinghimcontrolofourcircumstances.Withtime,weseethatChristcontinuallyredeemsus,deliveringusagainandagainfromourfoolishwaysanddrawingustohimself.

RedemptionandSpiritualDisciplinesSeveralofthespiritualdisciplinesservetoremindusofGod’songoingredemption.MeditationbringsusbacktothefeetofourSaviorafterwehavewanderedaway,chasingthedemandsandattractionsoftheday.ItisoftenusefultomeditateonGod’sgracethroughourpersonalhistories.Wecanallrecalltimesofbeingstuckinpainfulcircumstanceswhen,perhapsinthedepthsofourdespair,Godgraciouslyprovidedawayofescape.FastingcanbeusedasametaphorofourneedforGod.Witheachsensationofhungeroreachimpulsetoeat,werememberthatwearepeoplewithadeepneedforintimacywithGod,justasweneedfood.ReadingthespiritualclassicsallowsustoseeGod’smethodsofredeemingotherswhohavegonebeforeus.Incorporateworship,wegathertoencourageoneanotheralongthepathofredemption,sharingourcommonweaknessesandcelebratingourgraciousSavior.Withconfession,wenameoursins,weaknesses,andvulnerabilitiesaswepleadwithGodtocontinuetransformingus.WitheachofthesedisciplineswearebroughtbacktoChrist,redeemedfromourwaywardness.

RedemptionandHumilityRedemptioniscloselyrelatedtoconfessionandforgiveness,discussedinthetwoprecedingchapters.RichardFosterreferstothedoctrineofredemptionasthe“grounduponwhichwecanknowthatconfessionandforgivenessarerealitiesthattransformus.”341Inthechaptersonconfessionandforgiveness,Iemphasizedtheroleofpersonalhumility.Humilityisalsoanimportantpartofunderstandingredemption.

Humansarelostiflefttotheirownresources,andthatisbadenough.Buttomakemattersworse,manypeopleareconfidentthattheyarenotlost.WhenIaminastrangecityandwanttodisregardmywife’ssuggestionthatIstopfordirections,IassureherthatIknowwhereIamgoing,thatIcanmakeitonmyown.Ofcourse,IdonotfindmywayuntilIadmitmyneedandaskforhelp.Noonecanberansomedfromlostnessbeforerecognizinghisorherneed.Thepostureofredemptionisoneofhumility.Likestoppingataservicestationfordirections,wemustfallonourfacebeforeGodandadmitwearelost.

Anotheranalogyofourneedforhumilityisfoundintheratlaboratory.Animalresearchershavelocatedinrodentbrainsa“hotspot”thatprovidesapleasurablephysiologicalstimulus.Ifratshaveanelectrodeinsertedinthehotspot,theywillspendalldaypressingthebarthatdeliversthepleasurablesensation.Theyignorefood,water,andhygieneintheirpursuitofpleasure.Inthesameway,thepleasuresofsinusurpouraffectionsandattentionandnaturallydrawustowardthatwhichispleasurablebutultimatelyfutileandharmful.Weneedtoberedeemed,boughtbackfromourpropensitytowardpleasureseekinganddrawnclosertoChrist,whoseesourdeepestneedsevenwhilewearepreoccupiedwithoururgentdesires.

AndrewMurraydescribeshumilityasthe“secret,thehiddenrootofthyredemption.”Hegoesontoinstruct,“Sinkdownintoitdeeperdaybyday.”342WegodeeperintoalifeofhumilityandredemptionbypracticingthedisciplinesthatremindusofourinclinationtowardsinandourneedforGod.

Fromthesediscussionsofthepsychology,theology,andspiritualityofredemption,severalimportantconclusionscanbederived:

1.SpiritualredemptioncanbefoundonlyinChrist,whoprovidedtheransomtofreeusfromourcaptivitytosin.Inthissense,redemptionisaone-timeworkfulfilledinChrist’satonement.

2.SpiritualredemptionisalsoaprocesswherebyGoddrawsuscloserandsavesusfromaddictiontothepleasuresofsin.ThisprocessofredemptionbothrequiresandproduceshumilityaswerecognizeourdesperateneedforagraciousGod.

3.Godnotonlyredeemsusspirituallybutalsodeliversusfrommanyperilsandhardships,oftenthroughthekindnessofothers.

4.AsGod’sredemptiontransformsouraffections,wearemotivatedtobeGod’sagents

ofredemption,helpingthoseinneedfindhopeandrelieffromtrials.5.Counselingprovidesopportunitiestoberedemptiveagentsinafallenandneedyworld.

6.AredemptiveworldviewincounselingcallsusnotnecessarilytospecifictechniquesortheoreticalframeworksbuttocounselingrelationshipsthatreflectthegraceandkindnessweunderstandthroughGod’sredemptivelove.

PsychologicalandSpiritualHealthInanaddressentitled“PsychotherapyandRedemption,”givenattheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation(APA)meetingsin1990,HendrikaVandeKemp,apsychologistatFullerTheologicalSeminary,illustratedthemanychallengesofredemptivepsychotherapywithafascinatingcasestudy.343Herclient,whomshecalledDeborah,wasraisedbyaviolent,abusivefatherandanemotionallyaloofmother.Deborahrecalledbeingsexuallyassaultedtwiceduringheradolescentyears,oncebyaboyshewasdatingandoncebyamiddle-agedexhibitionist.Yethermothertoldhershehadonlyimaginedbothincidents.ThesecontradictoryexperiencesconfusedDeborahandlatercausedhertoquestionthevalidityofotherexperiences.

Deborahmarriedamanmuchlikeherfather—abusiveandaggressive.Afterrapingheronthesecondnightoftheirmarriage,anactthatresultedinbothemotionalandphysicaldamage,themancausedfouryearsofsexualandemotionalconflict.EventuallyheinsistedthatDeborahgetpsychologicaltreatment.Themarriageendedsoonthereafter.

BythetimeDeborahreachedacounselor,shewasatroubledwomanwithsymptomsofvariouspersonalitydisorders,aneatingdisorder,depression,confusedthinking,andsuicidaldesires.Itwouldbeniceifthestoryendedhappilywithacounselorhelpingherovercomethesevarioussymptoms.Unfortunately,shebouncedfromtherapisttotherapist,withtwoofhercounselorsdamaginghermorebysexuallyexploitingher.BythetimeDeborahcametoDr.VandeKemp’sattention,shehadseensixdifferenttherapists.

Dr.VandeKempbecameacquaintedwithDeborahintwoways:shesupervisedapracticumstudentwhoprovidedtherapyforDeborah,andshesometimeshaddirectcontactwithDeborahthroughherconsultativerole.BothDr.VandeKempandthepracticumstudentsupportedDeborahthroughthedifficultandarduousprocessoffilingethicschargesagainstaformertherapist.DeborahdevelopedwithDr.VandeKempastrongbond,whichsheexpressedappropriatelythroughseveralthank-younotesandcards.

WhenDeborahwasattackedwhilejoggingandthehospitalstaffdidnotwanthertoreturnhomealone,shecalledDr.VandeKemp.Withsomediscomfortaboutthetherapeuticboundaryissues,Dr.VandeKempallowedDeborahtostaywithherforashorttime,thenmadesurethatDeborahandhertherapistworkedthroughwhateverconfusionthisstirredupforDeborah.

SometimelaterDeborah’semotionalhealthimproved,shemovedoutoftownandmarriedagain,andhadchildren.SheappearedcontentinherroleasamotherandsentholidaygreetingcardstoDr.VandeKempeachyear.Inonecardshementionedthatshehadbeendiagnosedwithbreastcancer.AtthetimeofDr.VandeKemp’sAPAaddress,Deborah’ssecondhusbandhadlefther.Shewaslivingwithafamilythathad“adopted”her,andshewasabouttodie.Despitethetragicending,thiscasestudyillustratesseveralimportantcomponentsofaredemptivecounselingrelationship.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofSelf?ThroughrelationshipswithDr.VandeKempandherpracticumstudent,Deborahdevelopedastronger,moreaccuratesenseofherself.Inthissense,hercounselingwasredemptive,drawingheroutofastateofhelplessvictimizationtooneofempowerment.Thegreatestevidenceforthischangeisseeninherwillingnesstobringchargesagainstaformertherapistwhohadsexuallyexploitedher.

Deborahlearnedearlyinlifethatherproperrolewasoneofcomplianceandconformity.Shetriedtopreventherfather’sviolentoutburstsbynot“rockingtheboat.”Shemarriedamanverysimilartoherfatherandagaintriedtocopebylosingherownidentity.Twotherapiststookadvantageofherdesiretocomplyandhadsexualrelationshipswithherintheguiseofhelpingher.OnetherapistleftthestatebeforeDeborahwasstrongenoughtobringcharges.AfterseveralmonthsoftherapywithDr.VandeKemp’sstudent,Deborahwasstrongenoughtobringchargesagainstthesecondtherapist.

HowdidDeborahmovefrombeingpassiveandoverlycomplianttobeingempoweredtostandforjustice?Througharedemptivecounselingrelationship.VandeKempobservedthatredemptionofteninvolvesreconnection,bindingtogetherthefragmentsofashatteredlifeintoarecoveredsenseofself.Redemptionoccurrednotbythecounselor’sinsistingthatDeborahseekjusticebutbyhelpingDeborahreconnectherfeelingswithreality,bybindingherupuntilshewasstrongenoughtomakeagooddecisiononherown.

Noticethatastrongsenseofselfdoesnotnecessarilyproduceselfishness.UltimatelyDeborahdecidedtoseekjusticebecauseshedidnotwantotherwomentobehurtasshehadbeenhurt.Herownexperiencewithredemptioncausedhertoreachoutredemptivelytoothers.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealthySenseofNeed?Inonesense,DeborahwasoverwhelmedwithherneedevenbeforecounselingwithDr.VandeKemp’sstudent.Shehadattemptedsuicidetwentytimes,seensixdifferenttherapists,andviewedherselfaswretchedandworthless.Sheknewagreatdealaboutneedbutnotmuchaboutahealthysenseofneed.

Asshebecamestrongerinthecontextoftherapy,shelearnedtoapproachneedinahealthierway,asrevealedinhercalltoDr.VandeKempfromthehospital.Earlierin

Deborah’slife,shehadcopedwithneedbyclingingtoaggressiveanddemandingmen,bytryingtofindsymbioticrelationshipswithdominatingpeople,orbysuicideattempts.WhenshecalledDr.VandeKempfromthehospital,shewasreachingouttosomeonewhohadprovenherselftobecaringandnurturing.Itwasahealthyresponsetoneed.

Thisshowstheinterconnectednessofself,need,andhealingrelationships.IfDeborahhadnotdevelopedastrongersenseofselfincounselingoriftherehadnotbeenahealingbondbetweenthetwoofthem,shewouldnothavetakentheriskofcallingDr.VandeKemp.

WhatIfThisHappened?

BothcounselorAandcounselorBareconvincedthatcontemporaryAmericansocietyplacestoogreatanemphasisonindividualityandself-sufficiency.Theybothbelievethatmanyoftheirclientsneedtodevelopamoreaccurateunderstandingofinterdependency,includinganawarenessoftheirneedforothers.

CounselorAaddressesthisinthefirstcounselingsession.Sheoftensayssomethinglikethis:“Counselingisaninteractionbetweenpeople.IfIamgoingtohelpyou,itwillbebecauseyourecognizeyouneedme.Wecan’tdoeverythingonourown.Weallneedhelpsometimes.”

CounselorBapproachesneeddifferently.Inthefirstsession,shecommonlyasks,“Tellmehowitfeelsforyoutobeheretoday.”Shelistenscarefullytotheclient’sresponsebutdoesnotdiscusstheideaofneedanyfurtherunlesstheclientinvitesthediscussion.

IprefercounselorB’sapproachbecauseitgivesthecounselingrelationshiptimetodevelop.Eventuallytheremaybeovertdiscussionsofneedincounselingbutonlyafterthetherapeuticrelationshipisestablishedandtheclienthasdevelopedastrongenoughsenseofselftospeakassertivelyaboutneed.CounselorAseemstobeinvitingexcessivedependence,whichmaycausetheclienttobeeitherclingyorwary.Ahealthyawarenessofneedisbestestablishedinconjunctionwithahealthysenseofselfinthecontextofasaferelationship.

WillThisHelpEstablishaHealingRelationship?Redemptivecounselingisrelationallysensitivecounseling.Itcannotbereducedtoasetofclinicaltechniques.Itwasthecharacterofthetherapistandthesupervisor,aswellastheirrelationshipswithDeborah,thatprovidedDeborahwithredemptionandhope.InherAPAaddress,VandeKempemphasizedthattheredemptivetherapistaffirmsaclient’slongingforsalvation.ThecounselorbecomesaconduitfordistributingGod’sgrace.

RedemptiveChristiancounselorsvaluetheiropportunitiestobeministersofGod’sgracetoothers.Theyseecharacter—nottheirownnaturalcharacter,butthecharacterthatGodis

producingandrenewingintheirlives—asthegreatesttooltheyofferincounseling.Thoughtherelationalaspectsofcounselingcarrygreathealingpower,weshouldbe

realisticabouttheirlimitations.Oftenthepeoplewhoneedredemptiverelationshipsthemostarealsotheoneswhoaremostresistanttoenteringintosucharelationshipandwhogaintheleastfromitwhentheydoenterin.Forinstance,arecentstudyofsexuallyabusedChristianwomendemonstratedthatchildhoodsexualabuseinterfereswithadultcapacitytofeellovedandacceptedbyGodandothers.344EvenDeborah,afterdoingwellintherapy,continuedtohaverelationalproblems.Shemarriedanddivorcedasecondtimeandunwiselyconformedtoherhusband’sdemandsthatshenotgetmedicaltreatmentforbreastcancer.

Thesoberingrealityisthatwecannotcompletelytransformourclients,evenwiththebestcounselingrelationships.Thebestwecanhopeforisthatweinitiateasparkintheprocessofredemption—asparkthatproducesthewarmthoffeelinglovedandilluminatesafuturewhereallhumanliabilitieswillbesetasideandredemptionwillbefullyaccomplished.

FacingtheChallenges

Challenge1:MovingfromTwoAreasofCompetencetoThreeThemethodsofpsychologyandtheologyaresteepedinintellectualandrationaltraditions.Psychologicaltheoriesaredevelopedbycarefullyobservinghumanbehavior,formulatingspecifichypotheses,testingthesehypotheseswithdouble-blindstudies,andthenrevisingthetheoriesaccordingly.Similarly,ChristiantheologicalperspectivesareshapedbyacarefulanalysisofScriptureinlightofotheracademicdisciplinessuchasphilosophy,history,andanthropology.WeneedtheacademiccontributionsofpsychologyandtheologyinordertobeeffectiveChristiancounselors,butwealsoneedtounderstandspirituality.

Themethodsofspiritualityaredifferent.Althoughonecanstudyspiritualformationfromacademicperspectives,theprimaryvalueofChristianspiritualityisexperiential.WelooktoGodfordailysustenance,notbecausewecanproveGodwithadouble-blindstudyorbecauseoftheontologicalorteleologicalargumentsthatGodexists,butbecausewehavemetGodpersonallyandhavebecomepeopleoffaith.Itispreciselythisamorphous,experientialnatureofspiritualitythatoftenraisesoursuspicionsandconcernsaboutspiritualformation.Itallseemssoboundless,soinfinitelypronetohumandistortion.Weneedtheologicalboundariesinordertomaintainorthodoxandscripturallysoundviewsofredemption,yetwealsoneedtheexperientialdepthofapersonalspiritualjourney.

ThecapacityforChristianstointegratearedemptiveworldviewintotheircounselingworkisbothfacilitatedandlimitedbytheirfaithexperience.

WhatIfThisHappened?

Whatiftheprevailingvaluesofmentalhealthprofessionalsweretochangesuddenlyandeveryonebecameinterestedinredemptionaspartofthecounselingprocess?Trainingprogramswouldstartofferingcoursesinredemptivetherapy.Clinicalsupervisorswouldteachsuperviseeshowtoimplementredemptionintheirclinicalwork.Afewnewdoctoralprogramswouldspringup,eachofferingdegreesinredemptivepsychotherapy.Continuingeducationworkshops,YellowPagesadvertisements,andnationalconventionsallwouldpointtowardredemption.

Icreatethisfar-fetchedscenariotoaskaquestion:Whowouldbebestpreparedtooffercounselingservicesinthisnewmentalhealthenvironment?Christianswouldbe.Wehavereflecteddeeplyonredemption,andmoreimportantwehaveexperiencedprofoundredemptioninthespiritualrealm.Noamountofclassroomexperienceorcontinuingeducationcouldprovidethesamebackgroundthatwehavelearnedexperientially.

ThisillustrateshowspiritualexperiencepreparesChristiancounselorstothinkredemptivelyinthecounselingoffice.RedemptionincounselingisnotatechniquelearnedintheclassroombutaworldviewthatwellsupinthosewhowalkclosetoChristandthenspillsoverintoeveryrelationship,includingthoseinthecounselingoffice.Ofcourse,ifweacceptthispremise,thenwemustalsoacknowledgethattheextenttowhichweincorporatearedemptiveworldviewinourcounselingworkislimitedbythedepthofourspiritualexperiencewithredemption.

DesiringaredemptiveworldviewcallsustothespiritualjourneyandbidsustodrawclosertoourRedeemer.

Challenge2:BlurredPersonal-ProfessionalDistinctionsWhenSigmundFreudinfusedpsychoanalysiswithhispassionforscientificobjectivity,hecastthetherapistasavalue-freeprofessionalobserverofthepatient.ThoughmanyofFreud’sideashavewithstoodthechallengesofthepastcentury,thisonehasnot.Farfrombeinganobjectiveobserver,thetherapistisanactiveagentinatherapeutictransaction.Acounselorisbothprofessionalandpersonal;therolescannotbeneatlydivided.

WhatIfThisHappened?

PastorKaringhasseenStormyAnnDemptyforseveralsessions,helpingMs.Demptydealwithangercontrol,feelingsofsadness,andspiritualapathy.Onthefourthsession,Ms.DemptylooksquestioninglyatPastorKaringandasks,“Whatkindsofthingsdoyoudotokeepyourspiritualvisiongoing?”PastorKaringhearstwovoicesinhishead.

Voice1(adeeplyresonant,professionalvoice):Sheistryingtogetmetocrossoverintoapersonalrelationshipthatmightcloudmyobjectivity,addtotransferenceandcountertransferencedifficulties,anddisplaceherresponsibilityforchangeontome.Ishouldsimplyrespondbysaying,“ThequestionismoreinterestingthananyanswerImightgive.I’mwonderingwhatitmightmeanthatyouaskthat.”

Voice2(atentative,personalvoice):ThismaybeagoodopportunitytosharewithStormysomeofmymethodsofmeditatingandprayingfromScripture.ShemayfindthemashelpfulasIhave.

NeitherofPastorKaring’stwooptionsareclearlyrightorclearlywrong.HemaybecorrectthatMs.Dempty’srequestforinformationcouldimproperlyconfusethecounselingroles.HemayalsobecorrectthataspecificpersonaldisclosureregardingdevotionaltechniquescouldbehelpfultoMs.Dempty.Theimportantpointisthathefeelsinnerconflict,asheshould.Theboundariesbetweenprofessionalandpersonalaredifficulttodefineforthosewitharedemptiveworldview.

ThesameobservationcouldbemadeforDr.VandeKemp’sdecisiontoallowDeborahtostayatherhomeforseveraldays.ThoughIamimpressedwithherdecision,Iammoreimpressedwiththeinnerconflictshefeltinmakingthedecision.Ifitwereaneasydecisionineitherdirection,theneitherherunderstandingofprofessionalethicsorhercapacityforaredemptiveworldviewwouldhavetobequestioned.

Challenge3:ExpandedDefinitionsofTrainingThoughIhaveemphasizedtheimportanceofpersonalspiritualtrainingthroughoutthisbookandthischapter,itisimportanttorememberthatmostformsofChristiancounselingrequirebothprofessionalandpersonaltraining.Itwouldbeamistake,forexample,toassumethatredemptionthroughChristissufficienttomakeonecompetentindealingwiththevarietyofsituationsfacedbyprofessionalcounselors.

Acarelessattitudetowardprofessionaltrainingmightleadonetotheconclusionthat

counselorswithredemptiveworldviewsarenicepeoplewhospendanhoureveryweekbeingnicetoeachoftheirclients.ThisisnomoreaccuratethansayingGodredeemsusbybeingnicetous.Godunderstandsusperfectly,sotheprocessofredemptionlooksdifferentforeachpersonandeachsituation.AttimesweexperienceGod’swrathandjustice.AttimesGodismercifulandkind.SometimesGodseemsdistantandhardtofind.Duringeachofthesetimes,Godistryingtopurifyourfaithanddeliverusfromthesnaresofself-deceptionandevil.345

Similarly,effectivecounselorsarewarmandaffirmingattimes,assertiveandconfrontiveatothertimes,andoccasionallydistantandaloof.Anyofthesestrategiescanbeeffectiveordamaging,dependingonthecircumstancesofcounseling.BecausewearenotGod,wearepronetoimperfectjudgments,misunderstandingsaboutourclients,andself-servingbiases.Thiscallsallcounselorstoaplaceofhumilityandremindsusoftheimportanceofgoodtraining,ongoingconsultationandsupervision,highethicalstandards,andrelianceontheHolySpirit’sguidanceaswenavigatethemurkywatersofcounseling.

Challenge4:ConfrontingDominantViewsofMentalHealthAtthebeginningofthischapterIsuggestedtwodistinctionsofChristiancounselors:weidentifyourselvesasChristians,andwemaintainaredemptiveworldviewinourcounselingwork.Bothofthesedistinctionsconflictwithdominantassumptionsofmentalhealth.

Mostcounselors,regardlessoftheirpersonalreligiousorientation,seethemselvesassensitivetothevaryingreligiousvaluesoftheirclients.SuchsensitivityhasrecentlybeenmandatedforpsychologistsbytheAPA.346Althoughthisisgenerallygoodnewsforreligiousclients,itreducestheperceivedneedforcounselorstodescribetheirpersonalreligiousvalues.Becausecounselorsperceivethemselvestobesensitivetoawiderangeofreligiousvalues,theydonotseeaneedtobeexplicitabouttheirpersonalbeliefs.

Ifsensitivitytoreligiousbeliefsmeansnotridiculingorunderminingaclient’sbeliefs,thenitisprobablytruethatmostcounselorsaresensitivetoreligiousdifferencesandthereislittleneedtodisclosepersonalreligiousvalues.Butifreligiousbeliefstransformthewayweseehumanproblemsandprovideinsightsforthewaythoseproblemsaretreated,thenthepersonalreligiousvaluesofthecounselorarerelevanttotreatmentandareimportanttoidentify.Evenifothercounselorsarenotdoingso,Christiancounselorswhobelievetheirvaluesaffectthewaytheycounselcandemonstrateacommitmenttoethicalexcellencebydisclosingtheirpersonalreligiousvaluestonewclients.

AredemptiveworldviewinChristiancounselingalsochallengesrecentmentalhealthtraditionsthatemphasizeredemptionfromwithinoneself.Contemporarycounselingtheoryemphasizespersonalfreedomthroughcleaningoutpsychicconflicts,changingirrationalbeliefs,modifyingineffectivebehaviorpatterns,andfindingself-fulfillment.Alltheseinterventionscanbeusefulinvarioussituations,buttheytendtoovervalueindividualismand

self-discovery.TheChristianmessageofredemption,avitalpartofcounselingtheoryuntilthetwentiethcentury,callsustoredemptioninrelationtoothers.347Mostimportant,wearecalledoutofoursinfulwaystocommunitywithGodandintocaringcommunitywithoneanother.Christiancounselorsemergefromthiscaringcommunitytoliveouttheirredemptiveworldviewinavarietyofvocationalandprofessionalcontexts.

InhisbookRedemptiveIntimacy,philosopherDickWestleydescribestheredemptivenatureofChristiancommunities:“AsChurch,weformacounterculturetoourworld,butacountercultureofamostironicsort.Weseeknottocoerceandbadgerourneighbors,buttoliveourlivesofintimacyintrustingopennesstothem,alwayshopingthattheymayseeinussomethingofthe‘parableofGod’andfinallygetthepointofitall.”348

Challenge5:EstablishingaScientificBaseAspsychotherapyandcounseling-outcomeresearchhasprogressed,therehasbeenincreasinginterestinthecommonfactorsthatallformsoftherapyshare.Manyhundredsofstudieshavelookedatthelevelofspecificcounselinginterventions,asillustratedinfigure7,andthegeneralconclusionisthat“nopsychotherapyissuperiortoanyother,althoughallaresuperiortonotreatment.”349Weinbergerhasrecentlysuggesteditistimetofocusonthefivecommonfactorslistedinfigure7,allofwhichhebelievesare“eminentlymeasurable.”350

Common-factorsresearchisimportantasthenextstepinunderstandingthemysteryofthecounselingprocess,yetIsuspecttheremaybeanotherlevelofinquirythatliesahead.Coulditbethatthecharacterandworldviewofthecounselorhaveameaningfulimpactonthecommonfactors?Testingthisassertionposesmonumentalscientificchallengesbecauseofmeasurementproblems.Althoughseveralgoodscalesforcommonfactorsalreadyexist,therearenogoodwaystomeasureconceptsasdifficulttograspascharacter.Andhowdowegetbeyondtraditionalattitudemeasurestoassessacounselor’sworldview,suchastheredemptiveworldviewdescribedhere?Thesepreliminarymeasurementtaskswillhavetobeaddressedbeforetherelationshipbetweencharacterandcommonfactorscanbesystematicallyevaluated.

Challenge6:DefiningRelevantEthicalStandardsAttheheartofcounselingethicsaretwokeyprinciples:dogood,anddonoharm.Thoughthenuancesarecomplexandtheimplicationsnumerous,ifcounselorscouldconsistentlyabidebythesetwostandards,therewouldbefewethicsviolations.

Thesesametwoprinciplesformtheethicalfoundationforaredemptiveworldviewincounseling.Clientsoftencometousfeelingoppressedbytheforcesofevilintheworld,tiredofthestruggleforinnerandinterpersonalpeace.Theyarefeelingvulnerableandweak,andtheyarelookingtoacounselorforhelpandhope.Itistheirvulnerabilitythatmakesitsoimportantthatwevaluedoinggoodandnotharm.

Attimes,theredemptivecounselortakesrisks,butnotexcessiverisks.ItwasriskyforDr.VandeKemptoallowDeborahtostayinherhomeforseveraldayswhilerecoveringfrombeingattacked.I,alongwithmanycounselors,feelanimmediateandautomaticsenseofdiscomfortwithsuchanarrangement,assumingthatthistypeofmultiple-rolerelationshipwithasupervisee’sclientpushesethicalboundariesandmayresultinharmtotheclient.YetitmayhavebeenthisriskyactofcompassionthatmostclearlycommunicatedGod’sgracetoDeborah.VandeKempwascarefultonotethattherapistsmustmaintainethicalboundariesandrecognizetheirownlimitsandvulnerabilities.IamconvincedthatDr.VandeKempwouldnothaveinvitedDeborahtostayatherhomeifshehadbeenthetherapistratherthanthesupervisororifshehadanyfeelingsotherthanaltruisticcompassionforDeborah.Deborah’searlytherapistsalsocrossedethicalboundaries,butwithimpuremotives,andtheyendedupharmingDeborah.Somerisk,forthesakeofredemption,iswise.Excessiveriskwithoutcarefullyconsideringourpersonalvulnerabilitiesandtheethicalimplicationsofouractionscanharmthoseweareclaimingtohelp.

WhenDeborahfirstcameforcounseling,shewasbeatendownbypastrelationshipsandoppressedbyherviewofherselfandherfuture.TwotherapiststookDeborahinhervulnerablestate,pretendedtheyweredoinggood,thendidharmbysexuallyexploitingher.Onetherapist,aChristianwithacommitmenttoaredemptiveworldview,didgood,empoweringDeborahtomakebetterdecisionsandreachoutforhelp.

SummaryTheproblemwithsinisthatitseparatesusfromGod;thewonderofredemptionisthatwearebroughtbackintorelationshipwithGod.ThisislivingtruththatushersusintoarichspirituallifeofcommunionwithChrist.Christiancounselorswitharedemptiveworldviewrespondtootherswithhumilitybecausetheyrecognizethatfromwhichtheyhavebeenredeemed,withcompassionbecausetheyexperienceGod’sgrace,andwithgratitudebecauseofGod’ssustainingpresence.

Discussingredemptionincounselingisafittingconclusionforthisbookbecauseredemptionisarichandcomplextopicrequiringanunderstandingoftheothertopics

considered:Scripture,sin,confession,forgiveness,andprayer.ChristianslearnaboutredemptionbyunderstandingthegeneralandspecificthemesofScripture.ScripturedescribesaredemptiveGod,longingtodrawpeopleoutofthegripsofsinandrebelliontotheblissoffellowshipwiththedivine.PictureJesus,surroundedbycynicalPharisees,proclaimingthesewordsofredemption,mingledwithsorrowandfrustration:“Jerusalem,Jerusalem,thecitythatkillstheprophetsandstonesthosewhoaresenttoit!HowoftenhaveIdesiredtogatheryourchildrentogetherasahengathersherbroodunderherwings,andyouwerenotwilling!”(Matt.23:37).Understandingsingivesmeaningtoredemption.Thosewhodenysinseenoneedforspiritualredemption—“I’mokay;you’reokay.”AChristianviewofsinforcesusbeyondpopularpsychologytoapointofunderstandingourneedtoberansomedfromtheforcesofevilthatpervadeourworld.Withconfession,weacknowledgeoursinandourneedforhelp.Graciously,Godgrantsforgivenessasweexperiencethewonderofbeingredeemed,boughtbackfromcaptivitytosintoanabundantlifeinChrist.Onceweexperienceredemption,especiallyasweallowittoseepintoouraffections,ourunderstandingofprayercanneverbethesame.PrayerushersustothethroneofagraciousGodwhobringsusoutofslaverytohumanfollyandintoalandofspiritualabundance.ThisGodistobehonoredandpraisedandservedinworkandeverypartoflife.

UponReflection

Writingisunforgiving.Don’tgetmewrong—Iamhappytobeawriterandhavereveledinitschallengesandrewardsovertheyears.Butoncepublished,wordscannotbetakenback.

Inwritingtheupdatetothisbook,IhavebeenpleasedandsurprisedwithhowfewwordsIwouldtakebackfifteenyearslater.ButinthisredemptionchaptertherearebothsomewordsIwouldliketotakebackandsomeIwouldliketoadd.MyunderstandingoftheredemptivepresenceofGodinourworldhasgrownbiggerwitheachpassingyear.

ThewordsIwouldliketoretractsurroundfigure6andmydescriptionofwhatIcalledaredemptivefunnel.IimpliedthattheNewTestamentisaboutChristandtheOldTestamentisaboutotherthings.Fromtoday’svantagepoint,Iseethatthisiswrong.AllScripture—OldandNewTestaments—isanarrativeaboutJesus,theChrist.TheOldTestamenttellsastoryofajustandredemptiveGodwhocontinuouslypursuesbrokenandwaywardhumanity.ItisastoryaboutaGodwhowillnotgiveup,onewhopursuesandlovesandredeemsdespitehumanrebellion.Thenafterfourhundredyearsofwaiting(thetimebetweentheOldandNewTestaments),thecurtainopenstorevealtheclimaxofthestory.ThisGodwhorelentlesslypursuesusbecomeshuman—fleshandbloodisborninacaveorcowstalland

laidinamanger—andlivesamongus.Godcomestous.ThewholeBible,then,isastoryofJesusbecauseJesusrevealswhoGodisandalwayshasbeen.

RedemptionandtheIncarnationWhenIwrotethechapterin1996Itendedtolookatatonementinaparticularway,asmostevangelicalsdo,knownasthepenal-substitutionperspective:God’sjusticedemandspayment.Somebodyhastopayforoursin,soJesusdoeswithhisdeathonthecross.Fromthisviewpoint,redemptionoccursinacosmiccourtroom,withChristtakingthedeathpenaltythathumanitydeserves.Thereisbiblicalsupportforthisposition,especiallyinthePaulineepistles,butthereisalsobiblicalsupportforotherwaysofconsideringtheatonement.Whileweoughtnotbedismissiveofthepenal-substitutionview,Ihavecometoappreciateotherviewsaswell.

EasternOrthodoxChristianitytakesanincarnationalviewoftheatonement.Tounderstandthisview,wemustleavethecourtroomandgotoamangerinBethlehem,wherethemostremarkablethinghappened.Godshowedup,notinachariotwithaswordandanattitude,butasababy,swaddledandmeek.TheIncarnationrevealsthegreatestsurpriseofalltime.TheeternalGodhumbleshimselfandbecomesfleshandblood,walkingamongus,sharinginourstruggles,becomingvulnerable,becausevulnerabilityprecedesintimacy.ThedeathandresurrectionofChristaretheculminationofthisgreatsurpriseandrevealthedepthofGod’sredemptivegrace.AndevennowChrist,whounderstandsourweakness,continuestoreconcileustoGod(seeColossians1:15-22).

Therearemanyotherviewsofatonement—moralexemplar,recapitulation,ChristusVictor,ransom,andsoon.Iwon’ttrytosummarizetheminthisbriefupdate.Mypointinstirringthesewatersissimplytonotethatthepenal-substitutionviewsocommonlyheldbyevangelicalChristians—andvividlypromotedbyfilmssuchasThePassionoftheChrist—isnottheonlyperspectiveonhowGodsavesus.Andifweallowourselvestotakeamoreencompassingviewofatonement,wemayalsobeginseeingGod’sredemptivepresenceinsurprisingandrefreshingways.

Thinkabouttheimplicationsoftheincarnationalperspective:Immanuel,Godiswithus.Whatastarkcontrasttoanimism,whichconflatesthenaturalworldwithsupernaturalforces,andtodualism,whichkeepsthenuminousdistantandremovedfromtheevilofthenaturalworld.InChristianity,Godexistsapartfromthenaturalworldbutstillchoosestoenterin,tobeamongus,tosweatandbleedandlaboralongsideus,toparticipateinourstruggleswhileshowingusawaytofindinghealingandhope.

Ponderthisforamoment,andconsidertheimplicationsforwhatChristiancounselorsdo.HavingbeentransformedbytheredemptivepresenceofChristinourlives,westrivetodowhatJesusdid—toenterintothecomplex,messyplacesoflife,tobewithothersintheirstrugglesanddarkness,toofferhealingandhopeinthemidstoftheirpain.Ourwork

emulatestheworkofChrist,theeternalWord,whobecamehumanandmadehisdwellingamongus.WeneedtokeepthingsstraightbecausewearenotChrist,becausewearenotredeemingtheworld.ButweareambassadorsofChrist.WefollowtheexampleofJesuswhilehumblyacknowledgingthatwefallfarshortofthestandardJesusset.

Ioftenhearpeopleaskwhatintegrationlookslikeinacounselingsession,whichoftenseemstobeaquestionaboutwhentoprayorreadScripture.Thesearefinethingstoconsider,butmoreandmoreIamconvincedthatChristiancounselingisintegrativebyitsverynatureifacounselorismindfuloftheredemptivepresenceofChrist.Evenifwegothroughasession,oraseriesofsessions,withoutprayingorusingScripture,wearedoingsomethingprofoundlyscriptural,andprofoundlyprayerful.Wearesittingwithpeopleintheirtimeofgreatneed,andindoingso,wearerememberingtheredemptivepresenceofChristinourfallenworld.

TheGrittyRealityofRedemption“Godsolovedtheworld...”(John3:16).Inthe1996chapter,above,Iwroterepeatedlyaboutthespiritualnatureofredemption.Idon’tregretthis,becauseindeedredemptionaffectsourspirituallivesdeeply.Butmoreneedstobesaid.WiththeIncarnation,Godaddressednotonlyourspiritualstatebutalsothephysicalityoftheworld.Godsolovedthecosmos—theentireworld,includingallitsmateriality—thathegavehisonlySon.Again,thisdramacannotbelimitedtoacourtroomwhereourspiritualdestinyisbeingdetermined.ThisisadramathatunfoldsinfieldsofGalilee,withgrain,oliveandfigtrees,abaptismintheRiverJordan,loavesandfishes,expensiveperfume,alopped-offear,longspikednails,spurtingblood,aburialcave,andaheavydisplacedstoneallbeingpartofthestory.InChristianityweseematerialityandspiritualityintermingled.Godcaresaboutoursouls,buthealsocaresaboutourhungerandourhealth,andforthebirdsthatsinginthemorningandtheearthwormsthatkeepsoilfertile,andfortheoaktreesthatsoarfromthatfertilesoiltowardthesunabove.

ForcenturiesChristianshavefoughtagainstGnosticism—thepersistentheresythatsuggestsspiritualknowledgeistheonlythingGodcaresabout.TheapostlePauladdresseditinhisletters(seehislettertotheColossians,forexample),andleadersofthefaithhavebeenresistingiteversince.WhatfollowsisacaricatureofaChristiancounselor.

JoshhasrecentlyfinishedadegreeincounselingandstartsworkingasaChristiancounselorinalocalchurch.Whenpeoplecomewithvariousstruggles,hepointsthemtowardthehopetheyhaveinJesusandencouragesthemtofocusonthetruthofeternityratherthanthehindrancesofthistemporaryearthlyexistence.“GetthingsrightwithJesus,”Joshsays,andtherestwillbeeasy.

ThisseemsunlikelybecausemostGnosticsdon’tfindtheirwayintothecounselingprofession.ButthiscaricatureofJosh-the-CounselorillustrateshowGnosticismmightlookinacounselingoffice.GnosticswouldreduceGod’sredemptivepresencetospiritualknowledge,butafull-bodyChristianityinsistsonmore.

Thiscanmakeforgritty,unsanitaryexperiencesincounselingbecauseitmeansweencouragepeopletotellthewholestoryandnotjustreflectonspiritualmattersandChristianideals.Itmeansenteringintoourclients’stories,sittingwiththeminthemessyplacesoflifewithoutresortingtoChristianplatitudesbecause,afterall,thatistheexampleChristset.

JourneyingthroughBrokennessandPainSometimeswemaybetemptedtorushourclientstowardhealingbeforelearningtositstillandnoticethedepthofpaintheyarebringingbeforeus.Theresultmaybeasortofshort-circuitedspiritualplatitudethatdoesn’taddressthedepthofsufferinginvolvedinlivinginafallenworld.Thisworld,however,ispainfulandwillcontinuetobe.Whileweastherapistsmaybecomefamiliarwithhearingstoriesofpain,weneedtorememberthatourclientsmaybeunfamiliarwithgettingtheirpainoutonthetable.Astheyhumblethemselvestoofferusthegiftofvulnerability,mayweseethisasapreciousgatewayintotheirsoulsandtreatthemwithgentleness,caring,andthelongsufferingofChrist,whoshowsuswhatitmeanstowaitpatientlyforthepropertime.

Thereisnowayaroundpainontheroadtoredemption.Asweenterintotheexperienceofourclientsandgentlyleadthemthroughtheirpain,wecantrustGodtoultimatelyblesstheirhonestyandcourage.Wedonotseekpremature“healing”inthelivesofourclients;wedonotseekpiouslipservice.Wewanttherealdealforourclients.

ThepsalmistsdemonstratedawillingnesstobringtoGodallofthemselves,includingtheirangry,sad,andwoundedsouls.Onepsalmistpouredoutthesewords:“Howlong,OLORD?Willyouforgetmeforever?Howlongwillyouhideyourfacefromme?HowlongmustIwrestlewithmythoughtsandeverydayhavesorrowinmyheart?”(Psalm13:1-2,NIV).Towhatextentdoweallowsimilarexpressionsfromourclients?Ifwefindourselvesbrushingovertherawvulnerabilityandpainthatclientsbring,itistimetoslowdownandrememberthepowerofbeingwith.Alisteningearandasteadypresencecanbejustwhatclientsneedinaworldthatoftenmisunderstandsanddevaluespain.Christsufferedpain,evendeathonacross,andthroughhimweseethegreatestexampleofbeautythatcanbebornoutofpain.WhatworkofgraceandredemptionmightGodhaveinstoreforthosewhowillface,andeventuallysurrenderto,theirownsuffering?

Biblescholarshavereferredtocertainpsalmsasthepsalmsoflament.Thesepsalmswholeheartedlyexpressanguishandpain.However,anumberofthesesongsendwithproclamationsofrenewedstrength.Whenweleastexpectit,outofthesoilofsuffering,hopespringsforth—radiantandnew.Aswejourneywithourclientsthroughtheirsorrows,we

oftenfindthatpain,brokenness,andangerseemtodissipatenaturallyaftergiventhespacetosimplybe.Bymindfullyandempathicallyattuningtoourclients,weofferthemthegiftofpresence,thegiftoffellowshippingintheirsuffering.Thisgiftofferspermissionforourclientsto“bewith”themselves,evenaswearewiththem,andasGodiswithus.

FinalThoughtsThemainthemeofthisupdatehasbeenanincarnationalperspectiveonredemption,whichinvolveshonestlyconfrontinghumanstruggleswhilestillfindingChristinthemidstofthem.Thisviewofredemptionhasthepowertodeeplyaffectthewaywesitwithourclients.

Inthe1996version,whendescribingchallenge#5(EstablishingaScientificBase),Imentionedtheneedformorescienceonthecharacterandworldviewofthecounselor.Thoughthisresearchhasstillnotbeendone,itisinterestingtonotetherecentworkofJebBrown,BruceWampold,andotherswhohavefoundthatcertainpsychotherapistsaresimplymoreeffectivethanothers,regardlessoftheirtheoreticalpersuasionsandthetypesofproblemstheirclientsface.351Thoughtheseresearchershavenotlookedatissuesoffaith,worldview,orcharacter,itisstrikingtoseethateffectivecounselingisnotmerelyanissueofwhattheoryortechniqueoneuses.Italsohassomethingtodowiththeuniquecharacterofthecounselor.Isuspectpartofthisisone’scapacitytositasapersonofgraceintheuntidyplacesofaclient’slife.

Maywebepeopleofuncommonmercy,helpingothersfindtheirwaythroughcomplicatedplaces.ThisiswhatChristhasdoneforus,andstilldoeswithhissustainingredemptivepresenceinourworld.ChristiansintheEasternOrthodoxtraditionoftenrecitetheJesusPrayer:“LordJesusChrist,SonofGod,havemercyonme,asinner.”ThesearesimilartothewordsofthetaxcollectorinLuke18,whomJesuscontrastedwiththeself-righteousreligiousleader,andtheyarewordsthatfoundtheirwayintotheEgyptiandesertinthefourthcenturyasthedesertfathersandmotherstriedtofindtheirwayinChrist.Theyarewordsrepeatedeveryday,oftenhundredsoftimesaday,byOrthodoxbelieversaroundtheworld.AndtheyarewordsthatcanhelpusinourProtestantandRomanCatholictraditionsaswell,remindingusofthetruthofallScripture:thatJesusrevealstheredemptivepurposesofGod—redemptionthatresoundsthroughalltheagesandreachesintothemostcomplicatedplacesoflife.

AcknowledgmentThankstoKimberlyN.Snowforhelpingmewiththischapterupdate.KimisnearingtheendofherdoctoralworkatGeorgeFoxUniversity,whereshehasbeenavaluablememberofmyresearchteam.HerdissertationinvolvedaninnovativelookatlamentasawayofdrawingclosertoGod.

AdditionalReadingDanielL.Migliore,FaithSeekingUnderstanding:AnIntroductiontoChristianTheology,2nded.(GrandRapids:Eerdmans,2004).

BibliographyBrown,G.S.(Jeb),MichaelJ.Lambert,EdwardR.Jones,andTakuyaMinami.“IdentifyingHighlyEffectivePsychotherapistsinaManagedCareEnvironment.”TheAmericanJournalofManagedCare11(2005):513–520.

Wampold,Bruce.“NotaScintillaofEvidencetoSupportEmpiricallySupportedTreatmentsasMoreEffectivethanOtherTreatments.”InEvidence-BasedPracticesinMentalHealth,editedbyJohnC.Norcross,LarryE.Beutler,andRonaldF.Levant,299–307.Washington,D.C.:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation,2006.

Conclusion

TheMultitaskingCounselorThisbookbeganin1996byconsideringJill,adepressedwomanlookingthroughtheYellowPagesforaspirituallysensitivecounselor.Muchhaschangedsincethen,includingtherelevanceoftheYellowPages,andmuchhasremainedthesame.Jill’staskofselectingaChristiancounselorisbothimportantanddifficult.Itisimportantbecausehervaluesandperspectiveswillchangeasaresultofcounseling.Itisdifficultbecausesheislookingforararecounselorcapableofconsideringthreedomainsofrealitysimultaneously.

Ifhercounselorunderstandsthepsychologicalworldbutignoresthetheologicalandspiritual,Jill’sdeeplongingsforGodmayneverbeunderstoodandvaluedinthecounselingprocess.Ifhercounseloremphasizesthespirituallifebutoverlookspsychologyandtheology,Jillmaybeledinafutilesearchinward—lookingdesperatelyforaninnerchildoraninnerguideoraninnerlightbutavoidingthetrueself-understandingthatcomesfromhumblylovingasovereignGod.Ifhercounseloremphasizestheologyalone,Jillmayleavecounselingwithastrongersenseofwhatsheoughttodobutfeelpowerlessastohowsheshouldmakenecessarychanges.

ThroughoutthisbookIhavesuggestedthreeessentialcategoriesthatmustbeconsideredsimultaneously:psychology,theology,andspirituality.Fromapsychologicalperspective,effectivecounselorsareabletoparticipatefullyinatreatmentrelationshipwhilesimultaneouslysteppingoutsidetherelationshiptoviewtheproblemsoftheclientandthenatureofthecounselingrelationshipfromamoreobjectivevantagepoint.Atthesametime,ascounselorsempathizeandreflectemotionswithinthecounselingrelationship,theyarealsoevaluatingandassessingfromoutsidethecounselingrelationship—noticingvoicetone,nonverbalgestures,facialexpressions,andstylesofrelating.Masteringthistypeofpsychologicalawarenessrequiresexcellenttraining,culturalsensitivity,andsupervisedexperience.Butthereismore.

EffectiveChristiancounselorsalsoconsidertheologicalperspectivesatthesametimethattheyengageinthevariouspsychologicaltasksofcounseling.Historicalandsystematictheology,biblicalunderstanding,andChristiantraditionareallvaluedandconsideredessentialcomponentsofcounseling.ThesetasksrequireabasicworkingknowledgeoftheBible,Christianhistory,andtheologicalsystems.IhaveemphasizedtheologyinthisupdatebecauseitseemstobelessemphasizedinChristiancounselingthanitwaswhentheoriginaleditionofthisbookcameoutin1996.

Butthereisstillmore.Christiancounselinginvolvesanunderstandingofthespirituallifeoftheclient.Howaretheclient’sproblemsrelatedtospiritualdevelopment?Whenisa

problemsimplyabehavioralhabittobeeliminatedorreshaped,andwhenisaproblemareflectionofdeep,inneryearningsforintimacywithGodandothers?Howcanatreatmentrelationshipbecraftedtofosterqualitiesofhumilityandinsight?When,ifever,shouldprayerorScripturememorybeusedincounselingorprescribedtoaclient?ThesearethetypesofquestionsthatChristiancounselorsregularlyencounter.Trainingforspiritualsensitivitymaybeginintheclassroomorbyreadingspiritualclassics,butitmustcontinueintheprivatelivesofcounselors.ThespiritualdisciplineshelpusunderstandGod’sgraceandourownfallennessandgiveusopportunitiestogleanfragmentsofwisdomfromouromniscientGod.

MayGodguideeachofustothedeep,stillwatersoflife,wherewefindhope,courage,humility,compassion,andpeace.

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AbouttheAuthor

MarkR.McMinnisaprofessorofpsychologyatGeorgeFoxUniversity,whereheteachesandservesasthedirectoroffaithintegrationintheGraduateDepartmentofClinicalPsychology.MarkholdsaPh.D.fromVanderbiltUniversity,isalicensedpsychologistinOregon,andisboardcertifiedbytheAmericanBoardofProfessionalPsychology.HeisaFellowoftheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation(APA)andapastpresidentoftheAPA’sPsychologyofReligiondivision.

Markhasreceivedteacher-of-the-yearawardsbothatGeorgeFoxUniversityandatWheatonCollege,wherehetaughtfrom1993to2006.Hewasrecentlyawardedthe2010GraduateResearcheroftheYearawardatGeorgeFox.Muchofhisresearchandallofhisclinicalworkinrecentyearshavefocusedonclergyhealthandfindingeffectivewaysformentalhealthprofessionalsandclergytoworktogetherwell.

Mark’swife,Lisa,isasociologistandauthor.Togethertheyraisedthreedaughters,whoarenowgrown.MarkandLisaliveinruralOregon,wheretheyattendNewbergFriendsChurch,tendhoneybeesandchickens,andrunasmallCommunity-SupportedAgriculture(CSA)farm.

Notes1Portionsofchapter7aredrawnfromanarticleKatherynandIwrote:KatherynRhoads

MeekandMarkR.McMinn,“Forgiveness:MorethanaTherapeuticTechnique,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity16(1997):51–61.

2Portionsofchapter1arecondensedfromanarticleJimandIwrote:“Psychology,Theology,andSpirituality:ChallengesforSpirituallySensitiveCounseling,”ChristianCounselingToday(winter1996).

3StephenQuackenbos,GaylePrivette,andBonnelKlentz,“Psychotherapy:SacredorSecular?”JournalofCounselingandDevelopment63(1985):290–293.

4MarkR.McMinn,“ReligiousValues,SexistLanguage,andPerceptionsofaTherapist,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity10(1991):132–136.

5StantonL.Jones,“AConstructiveRelationshipforReligionwiththeScienceandProfessionofPsychology:PerhapstheBoldestModelYet,”AmericanPsychologist49(1994):184–199.

6AlbertEllis,TheCaseagainstReligion:APsychotherapist’sView(NewYork:InstituteforRationalLiving,1971).

7ResearchcontradictingtheevidenceoftheatheistsincludesAllenE.Bergin,“ReligiosityandMentalHealth:ACriticalReevaluationandMeta-analysis,”ProfessionalPsychology:ResearchandPractice14(1983):170–184;AllenE.Bergin,“ValuesandReligiousIssuesinPsychotherapyandMentalHealth,”AmericanPsychologist46(1991):394–403;AllenE.Bergin,RandyD.Stinchfield,ThomasA.Gaskin,KevinS.Masters,andClydeE.Sullivan,“ReligiousLife-StylesandMentalHealth:AnExploratoryStudy,”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology35(1988):91–98;MichaelJ.Donahue,“IntrinsicandExtrinsicReligiousness:ReviewandMeta-analysis,”JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology48(1985):400–419.EvidenceofcautioncanbefoundinAlbertEllis,TheCaseagainstReligiosity(NewYork:InstituteforRationalLiving,1983);AlbertEllis,“DoIReallyHoldthatReligiousnessIsIrrationalandEquivalenttoEmotionalDisturbance?”AmericanPsychologist47(1992):428–429;AlbertEllis,“MyCurrentViewsofRational-EmotiveTherapy(RET)andReligiousness,”JournalofRational-Emotive&Cognitive-BehaviorTherapy10(1992):

37–40.

8AlbertEllis,“TheAdvantagesandDisadvantagesofSelf-HelpTherapyMaterials,”ProfessionalPsychology:ResearchandPractice24(1993):336.

9Forcritiquesofpostmodernism,seeM.BrewsterSmith,“SelfhoodatRisk:PostmodernPerilsandthePerilsofPostmodernism,”AmericanPsychologist49(1994):405–411.

10RonaldRapeeandDavidBarlow,“PanicDisorder:Cognitive-behavioralTreatment,”PsychiatricAnnals18(1988):473–477.

11TaskForceonPromotionandDisseminationofPsychologicalProcedures,“TraininginandDisseminationofEmpiricallyValidatedPsychologicalTreatments:ReportandRecommendations,”TheClinicalPsychologist48(1995):3–23.

12EverettL.Worthington,Jr.,“ABlueprintforIntradisciplinaryIntegration,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology22(1994):79–86.

13GaryR.Collins,“MovingthroughtheJungle:ADecadeofIntegration,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology11(1983):5.

14Worthington,Jr.,“Blueprint,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology22(1994):80.

1513.DallasWillard,TheSpiritoftheDisciplines(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),18.

16GaryR.Collins,“ThePuzzleofPopularSpirituality,”ChristianCounselingToday(winter1994):10–14.

17MarkR.McMinnandJamesC.Wilhoit,“Psychology,Theology,andSpirituality:ChallengesforSpirituallySensitiveCounseling,”ChristianCounselingToday,(fall1995).

18MichaelJ.LambertandAllenE.Bergin,“TheEffectivenessofPsychotherapy,”HandbookofPsychotherapyandBehaviorChange,4thed.,ed.AllenE.BerginandSolL.Garfield(NewYork:Wiley,1994),143–189;MaryLeeSmith,G.V.Glass,andR.L.Miller,TheBenefitsofPsychotherapy(Baltimore:JohnsHopkinsPress,1980).

19JeromeD.Frank,“TherapeuticFactorsinPsychotherapy,”AmericanJournalofPsychotherapy25(1971):350–361.

20SusanC.WhistonandThomasL.Sexton,“AnOverviewofPsychotherapyOutcomeResearch:ImplicationsforPractice,”ProfessionalPsychology24(1993):43–51.

21McMinn,“ReligiousValues,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity:132–136.

22AllenE.Bergin,“PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology48(1980):95–105;TimothyA.KellyandHansH.Strupp,“PatientandTherapistValuesinPsychotherapy:PerceivedChanges,Assimilation,Similarity,andOutcome,”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology60(1992):34–40;FrankI.Martinez,“Therapist-ClientConvergenceandSimilarityofReligiousValues:TheirEffectonClientImprovement,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity10(1991):137–143;DominicO.VachonandAlbertA.Agresti,“ATrainingProposaltoHelpMentalHealthProfessionalsClarifyandManageImplicitValuesintheCounselingProcess,”ProfessionalPsychology:ResearchandPractice23(1992):509–514;EverettL.Worthington,Jr.,ed.,PsychotherapyandReligiousValues(GrandRapids:Baker,1993).

23DominicO.VachonandAlbertA.Agresti,“ATrainingProposaltoHelpMentalHealthProfessionalsClarifyandManageImplicitValuesintheCounselingProcess,”ProfessionalPsychology:ResearchandPractice23(1992):509.

24RichardJ.Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline:ThePathtoSpiritualGrowth(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988);Willard,Disciplines.

25GaryW.Moon,JudyW.Bailey,JohnC.Kwasny,andDaleE.Willis,“TrainingintheUseofChristianDisciplinesasCounselingTechniqueswithinChristianGraduateTrainingPrograms,”PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,ed.EverettL.Worthington,Jr.(GrandRapids:Baker,1993),191–203.

26Ibid.,200.

27Ibid.,201.

28SamuelA.Adams,“SpiritualWell-being,Religiosity,andDemographicVariablesasPredictorsoftheUseofChristianCounselingTechniques.”PosterpresentedattheannualmeetingsoftheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation.LosAngeles:August1994.

29EugeneH.Peterson,ALongObedienceintheSameDirection:DiscipleshipinanInstantSociety(DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPress,1980).

30StantonL.JonesandRichardE.Butman,ModernPsychotherapies:AComprehensiveChristianAppraisal(DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPress,1991).

31RaymondA.DiGiuseppe,MitchellW.Robin,andWendyDryden,“OntheCompatibilityofRational-EmotiveTherapyandJudeo-ChristianPhilosophy:AFocusonClinicalStrategies,”JournalofCognitivePsychotherapy:AnInternationalQuarterly4(1990):355–368;PaulHauck,ReasoninPastoralCounseling(Philadelphia:Westminster,1972);PaulHauck,“ReligionandRET:FriendsorFoes?”ClinicalApplicationsofRational-EmotiveTherapy,ed.AlbertEllisandM.E.Bernard(NewYork:PlenumPress,1985),237–255;W.BradJohnson,“Rational-EmotiveTherapyandReligiousness:AReview,”JournalofRational-Emotive&Cognitive-BehavioralTherapy10(1992):21–35;W.BradJohnson,“ChristianRational-EmotiveTherapy:ATreatmentProtocol,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity12(1993):254–261;W.BradJohnsonandCharlesR.Ridley,“BriefChristianandNon-ChristianRational-EmotiveTherapywithDepressedChristianClients:AnExploratoryStudy,”CounselingandValues36(1992):220–229;ConstanceLawrence,“Rational-EmotiveTherapyandtheReligiousClient,”JournalofRational-EmotiveTherapy5(1987):13–20;ConstanceLawrenceandCharlesH.Huber,“StrangeBedfellows?:Rational-EmotiveTherapyandPastoralCounseling,”ThePersonnelandGuidanceJournal61(1982):210–212;JohnPowell,FullyHuman,FullyAlive(Niles,Ill.:Argus,1976);SandraD.M.Warnock,“Rational-EmotiveTherapyandtheChristianClient,”JournalofRational-Emotive&Cognitive-BehaviorTherapy7(1989):263–274.

32ConstanceLawrenceandCharlesH.Huber,“StrangeBedfellows?:Rational-EmotiveTherapyandPastoralCounseling,”ThePersonnelandGuidanceJournal61(1982):210.

33MarkR.McMinn,“RET,Constructivism,andChristianity:AHermeneuticforChristianCognitiveTherapy,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity13(1994):342–355.

34ThomasA.Harris,I’mOK—You’reOK:APracticalGuidetoTransactionalAnalysis(NewYork:Harper&Row,1967).

35Ellis,TheCaseagainstReligion,3;seealsoAlbertEllisandEugeneSchoenfeld,“DivineInterventionandtheTreatmentofChemicalDependency,”JournalofSubstanceAbuse2(1990):459–468.

36EverettL.Worthington,Jr.,PhilipD.Dupont,JamesT.Berry,andLorettaA.Duncan,“ChristianTherapistsandClients’PerceptionsofReligiousPsychotherapyinPrivateandAgencySettings,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology16(1988):282–293.

37Ibid.,292.

38RobertA.BallandRodneyK.Goodyear,“Self-reportedProfessionalPracticesofChristianPsychotherapists,”PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,ed.EverettL.Worthington,Jr.(GrandRapids:Baker,1993),171–182.

39W.BradJohnson,“OutcomeResearchandReligiousPsychotherapies:WhereAreWeandWhereAreWeGoing?”JournalofPsychologyandTheology21(1993):297–308.

40W.BradJohnson,RonaldDeVries,CharlesR.Ridley,DonaldPettorini,andDelandR.Peterson,“TheComparativeEfficacyofChristianandSecularRational-EmotiveTherapywithChristianClients,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology22(1994):130–140;W.BradJohnsonandCharlesR.Ridley,“BriefChristianandNon-ChristianRational-EmotiveTherapywithDepressedChristianClients:AnExploratoryStudy,”CounselingandValues36(1992):220–229;DavidRichardPecheurandKeithJ.Edwards,“AComparisonofSecularandReligiousVersionsofCognitiveTherapywithDepressedChristianCollegeStudents,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology12(1984):45–54.

41L.RebeccaPropst,“TheComparativeEfficacyofReligiousandNon-religiousImageryfortheTreatmentofMildDepressioninReligiousIndividuals,”CognitiveTherapyandResearch4(1980):167–178;L.RebeccaPropst,RichardOstrom,PhilipWatkins,TerriDean,andDavidMashburn,“ComparativeEfficacyofReligiousandNonreligiousCognitive-BehavioralTherapyfortheTreatmentofClinicalDepressioninReligiousIndividuals,”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology60(1992):94–103.

42L.RebeccaPropst,RichardOstrom,PhilipWatkins,TerriDean,andDavidMashburn,“ComparativeEfficacyofReligiousandNonreligiousCognitive-behavioralTherapyfortheTreatmentofClinicalDepressioninReligiousIndividuals,”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology60(1992):94–103.

43DanielR.Somberg,GeraldL.Stone,andCharlesD.Claiborn,“InformedConsent:Therapists’BeliefsandPractices,”ProfessionalPsychology:ResearchandPractice24(1993):153–159;ThereseSullivan,WilliamMartin,Jr.,andMitchelM.Handelsman,

“PracticalBenefitsofanInformed-consentProcedure:AnEmpiricalInvestigation,”ProfessionalPsychology:ResearchandPractice24(1993):160–163.

44EverettL.Worthington,Jr.,“ReligiousCounseling:AReviewofPublishedEmpiricalResearch,”JournalofCounselingandDevelopment64(1986):421–431.

45EnricoE.JonesandStevenM.Pulos,“ComparingtheProcessinPsycho-dynamicandCognitive-behavioralTherapies,”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology61(1993):306–316;WhistonandSexton,“AnOverviewofPsychotherapyOutcomeResearch,”ProfessionalPsychology,43–51.

46Propstetal.,“ComparativeEfficacyofReligiousandNonreligiousCognitive-behavioralTherapy,”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology,94–103.

47Ibid.

48Ibid.

49Propst,“TheComparativeEfficacyofReligiousandNon-religiousImagery,”CognitiveTherapyandResearch,167–178;Propstetal.,“ComparativeEfficacyofReligiousandNonreligiousCognitive-behavioralTherapy,”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology,94–103.

50RichardJ.Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline:ThePathtoSpiritualGrowth(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),1.

51StevenBouma-Prediger,“TheTaskofIntegration:AModestProposal,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology18(1990):21–31.

52JeromeD.Frank,“Psychotherapy:TheRestorationofMorale,”AmericanJournalofPsychiatry131(1974):271–274;DavidE.Orlinksy,KlausGrawe,andBarbaraK.Parks,“ProcessandOutcomeinPsychotherapy—NochEinmal,”HandbookofPsychotherapyandBehaviorChange(4thed.),ed.AllenE.BerginandSolL.Garfield(NewYork:Wiley,1994),270–376.

53MarkR.McMinn,CognitiveTherapyTechniquesinChristianCounseling(Waco,Tex.:Word).

54EnricoE.JonesandStevenM.Pulos,“ComparingtheProcessinPsychodynamicandCognitive-behavioralTherapies,”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology61(1993):306–316.

55AaronT.Beck,ArthurFreeman,andAssociates,CognitiveTherapyofPersonalityDisorders(NewYork:Guilford,1990);RichardC.BedrosianandGeorgeD.Bozicas,TreatingFamilyofOriginProblems:ACognitiveApproach(NewYork:Guilford,1994);JeffreyE.Young,CognitiveTherapyforPersonalityDisorders:ASchema-focusedApproach,rev.ed.(Sarasota,FL:ProfessionalResourcePress,1994).

56ErikH.Erikson,ChildhoodandSociety(NewYork:Norton,1963).

57Ibid.

58TimothyBeougherandLyleDorsett,eds.,AccountsofaCampusRevival:WheatonCollege1995.(Wheaton,Ill.:HaroldShaw,1995).

59MarshaM.Linehan,Cognitive-behavioralTreatmentofBorderlinePersonalityDisorder(NewYork:Guilford,1993).

60MichaelJ.Lambert,“PsychotherapyOutcomeResearch:ImplicationsforIntegrativeandEclecticTherapists,”HandbookofPsychotherapyIntegration,ed.JohnC.NorcrossandMarvinR.Goldfried(NewYork:BasicBooks,1992),94–129;KennethS.Pope,JanetL.Sonne,andJeanHolroyd,SexualFeelingsinPsychotherapy(Washington,D.C.:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation,1993).

61GordonAllport,PatternandGrowthinPersonality(NewYork:Holt,RinehartandWinston,1961);CarlG.Jung,“OnthePsychologyoftheUnconscious,”TwoEssaysonAnalyticalPsychology(Princeton,N.J.:PrincetonUniversityPress,1972),3–119;HarryS.Sullivan,ConceptionsofModernPsychiatry(NewYork:Norton,1953).

62AlbertBandura,“Self-efficacyMechanisminHumanAgency,”AmericanPsychologist37(1982):122–147.

63MarkR.McMinn,“RET,Constructivism,andChristianity:AHermeneuticforChristianCognitiveTherapy,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity13(1994):342–355.

64WilliamP.Henry,HansH.Strupp,ThomasE.Schacht,andLouiseGaston,

“PsychodynamicApproaches,”HandbookofPsychotherapyandBehaviorChange,4thed.,ed.AllenE.BerginandSolL.Garfield(NewYork:Wiley,1994),467–508.

65JayE.Adams,TheChristianCounselor’sManual(GrandRapids:Baker,1973).

66Foraninterestingdiscussionofthis,seeDavidG.MyersandMalcolmA.Jeeves,PsychologythroughtheEyesofFaith(SanFrancisco:Harper&Row,1987),129–136.

67Maslowwascriticaloforganizedreligion,showingthesamemisunderstandingsofavitalChristianfaiththatmanypsychologistauthorsdemonstrate.SeeAbrahamH.Maslow,Religions,Values,andPeak-Experiences(NewYork:TheVikingPress,1964).

68RichardJ.Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline:ThePathtoSpiritualGrowth(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),33.

69BenedictofNursia,“ExcerptsfromTheRule,”inDevotionalClassics,ed.RichardJ.FosterandJamesBryanSmith(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1993),178–183.

70MarkR.McMinn,“ReligiousValuesandClient-therapistMatchinginPsychotherapy,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology12(1984):24–33.

71HansH.Strupp,“ThePsychotherapist’sSkillsRevisited,”ClinicalPsychology2(1995):70.

72KennethS.PopeandJ.C.Bouhoutsos,SexualIntimacybetweenTherapistsandPatients(NewYork:Praeger,1986).

7322.AmericanPsychologicalAssociation,“EthicalPrinciplesofPsychologistsandCodeofConduct,”AmericanPsychologist47(1992):1605.

74CharlesR.Carlson,PanayiotaE.Bacaseta,andDexterA.Simantona,“AControlledEvaluationofDevotionalMeditationandProgressiveRelaxation,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology16(1988):362–368.

75MarkR.McMinnandClarkD.Campbell,IntegrativePsychotherapy:TowardaComprehensiveChristianApproach(DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPress).

76JeffreyE.Young,JanetS.Klosko,andMarjorieE.Weishaar,SchemaTherapy:A

Practitioner’sGuide(NewYork:Guilford,2003).

77MartinE.P.Seligman,“PositiveHealth,”AppliedPsychology:AnInternationalReview57(2008):4.

78MargaretM.PolomaandGeorgeH.Gallup,Jr.,VarietiesofPrayer:ASurveyReport(Philadelphia:TrinityPressInternational,1991),26.

79MichaelE.McCullough,“PrayerandHealth:ConceptualIssues,ResearchReview,andResearchAgenda,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology23(1995):15–29.

80RalphW.Hood,Jr.,RonaldJ.Morris,andP.J.Watson,“ReligiousOrientationandPrayerExperience,”PsychologicalReports60(1987):1201–1202.

81RobertA.BallandRodneyK.Goodyear,“Self-reportedProfessionalPracticesofChristianPsychotherapists,”PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,ed.EverettL.Worthington,Jr.(GrandRapids:Baker,1993),171–182;MarcGalanter,DavidLarson,andElizabethRubenstone,“ChristianPsychiatry:TheImpactofEvangelicalBeliefonClinicalPractice,”AmericanJournalofPsychiatry148(1991):90–95.

82FredericC.CraigieandSiang-YangTan,“ChangingResistantAssumptionsinChristianCognitive-behavioralTherapy,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology17(1989):93–100.SeealsoMarcGalanter,DavidLarson,andElizabethRubenstone,“ChristianPsychiatry:TheImpactofEvangelicalBeliefonClinicalPractice,”AmericanJournalofPsychiatry148(1991):90–95.

83ShawnW.Hales,RandallSorenson,JoanJones,andJohnCoe,“PsychotherapistsandtheReligiousDisciplines:PersonalBeliefsandProfessionalPractice,”paperpresentedattheconferenceoftheChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies,VirginiaBeach,April1995.

84CraigieandTan,“ChangingResistantAssumptions,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology,98.

85SylviaFlemingCrocker,“PrayerasaModelofCommunication,”PastoralPsychology33(1984):83.

86Forexample,seethisstudyoffamilyphysiciansandtheirreasonsforprayingwitholder

adultpatients:HaroldG.Koenig,LucilleB.Bearon,andRichardDayringer,“PhysicianPerspectivesontheRoleofReligioninthePhysician–OlderPatientRelationship,”TheJournalofFamilyPractice28(1989):441–448.

87CraigieandTan,“ChangingResistantAssumptions,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology,98.

88Foranarticleaboutmeditationincounseling,seeJosephD.Driskill,“MeditationasaTherapeuticTechnique,”PastoralPsychology38(1989):83–103.

89CharlesR.Carlson,PanayiotaE.Bacaseta,andDexterA.Simantona,“AControlledEvaluationofDevotionalMeditationandProgressiveRelaxation,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology16(1988):362–368.

90L.RebeccaPropst,“TheComparativeEfficacyofReligiousandNon-religiousImageryfortheTreatmentofMildDepressioninReligiousIndividuals,”CognitiveTherapyandResearch4(1980)167–178.

91SusanneSchneiderandRobertKastenbaum,“PatternsandMeaningsofPrayerinHospiceCaregivers:AnExploratoryStudy,”DeathStudies17(1993):471–485.

92JohnR.FinneyandH.NewtonMalony,“AnEmpiricalStudyofContemplativePrayerasanAdjuncttoPsychotherapy,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology13(1985):284–290.

93Halesetal.,“PsychotherapistsandtheReligiousDisciplines.”

94J.C.Lambert,“Prayer,”TheInternationalStandardBibleEncyclopedia,ed.JamesOrr,JohnL.Nuelsen,EdgarY.Mullins,MorrisO.Evans,andMelvinGroveKyle(GrandRapids:Eerdmans,1956),2430.

95MillardJ.Erickson,ChristianTheology(GrandRapids:Baker,1985),405–406.

96Ibid.,406.

97RichardJ.Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline:ThePathtoSpiritualGrowth(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),33.

98See,forexample,DavidA.Seamands,HealingofMemories(Wheaton,Ill.:VictorBooks,1985)andAgnesSanford,TheHealingLight(NewYork:BallantineBooks,1972).

99RichardJ.Foster,Prayer:FindingtheHeart’sTrueHome(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1992).

100Carlsonetal.,“AControlledEvaluationofDevotionalMeditation,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology,362–368.

101Foranoverstatedcriticism,seeDaveHuntandT.A.McMahon,TheSeductionofChristianity(Eugene,Ore.:HarvestHouse,1985).

102Foster,Prayer,1.

103Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline,33.

104OleHallesby(translatedbyClarenceJ.Carlsen),Prayer(Minneapolis:Augsburg,1931),12.

105DallasWillard,TheSpiritoftheDisciplines(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),186.

106BillHybels,TooBusyNottoPray:SlowingDowntoBewithGod(DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPress,1988).

107Hallesby,Prayer,17.

108Hybels,TooBusyNottoPray;foradditionalideasofprayerexercises,seeAnthonyBloom,BeginningtoPray(NewYork:PaulistPress,1970).

109Halesetal.,“PsychotherapistsandtheReligiousDisciplines.”

110Carlsonetal.,“AControlledEvaluationofDevotionalMeditation,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology,362–368.

111DaveHuntandT.A.McMahon,TheSeductionofChristianity(Eugene,Ore.:HarvestHouse,1985).

112Propst,“TheComparativeEfficacyofReligiousandNon-religiousImagery,”Cognitive

TherapyandResearch,167–178.SeealsoMarkR.McMinn,CognitiveTherapyTechniquesinChristianCounseling(Waco,Tex.:Word,1991),126–127.

113Halesetal.,“PsychotherapistsandtheReligiousDisciplines.”

114MarcGalanter,DavidLarson,andElizabethRubenstone,“ChristianPsychiatry:TheImpactofEvangelicalBeliefonClinicalPractice,”AmericanJournalofPsychiatry148(1991):90–95.

115Crocker,“Prayer,”PastoralPsychology,83–92.

116Hallesby,Prayer,17.

117Forahelpfuldiscussionofthis,seeGaryW.Moon,“SpiritualDirectors,ChristianCounselors:WhereDoTheyOverlap?”ChristianCounselingToday(winter1994),29–33.

118Foster,Prayer,34.

119GaryW.Moon,JudyW.Bailey,JohnC.Kwasny,andDaleE.Willis,“TrainingintheUseofChristianDisciplinesasCounselingTechniqueswithinChristianGraduateTrainingPrograms,”PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,ed.EverettL.Worthington,Jr.(GrandRapids:Baker,1993),191–203.

120KennethS.PopeandJ.C.Bouhoutsos,SexualIntimacybetweenTherapistsandPatients(NewYork:Praeger,1986),38–43.

121AAMFTCodeofEthics(Washington,D.C.:AmericanAssociationofMarriageandFamilyTherapy,1991),4.

122CodeofEthicsoftheNationalAssociationofSocialWorkers(Washington,D.C.:NationalAssociationofSocialWorkers,1993),3.

123“EthicalPrinciplesofPsychologistsandCodeofConduct,”AmericanPsychologist47(1992):1601.

124EthicalStandards(Alexandria,Va.:AmericanCounselingAssociation,1988),1.

125SeeFoster,CelebrationofDisciplineandFoster,Prayer.

126Willard,Disciplines.

127DonPostema,SpaceforGod:TheStudyandPracticeofPrayerandSpirituality(GrandRapids:CRCPublications,1983).

128Hallesby,Prayer.

129Fortheencouragingtrends,seeStantonL.Jones,“AConstructiveRelationshipforReligionwiththeScienceandProfessionofPsychology:PerhapstheBoldestModelYet,”AmericanPsychologist49(1994):184–199.Foradiscussionofself-determinationincounseling,seePaulC.Vitz,PsychologyasReligion:TheCultofSelf-Worship(GrandRapids:Eerdmans,1977).

130AllenE.Bergin,“ValuesandReligiousIssuesinPsychotherapyandMentalHealth,”AmericanPsychologist46(1991):394–403.

131Moonetal.,“UseofChristianDisciplines,”PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,191–203.

132“EthicalPrinciples,”1600.

133MarkR.McMinn,ChristianCounseling(Washington,D.C.:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation,2006),video.

134PhilipZaleskiandCarolZaleski,Prayer:AHistory(Boston:HoughtonMifflin,2005),340–341.

135HerbertBenson,JefferyA.Dusek,JaneB.Sherwood,PeterLam,CharlesBethea,WilliamCarpenter,SidneyLevitsky,PeterC.Hill,DonaldW.Clem,ManojK.Jain,DavidDrumel,StephenL.Kopecky,PaulS.Mueller,DeanMarek,SueRollins,andPatriciaL.Hibberd,“StudyoftheTherapeuticEffectsofIntercessoryPrayer(STEP)inCardiacBypassPatients:AMulticenterRandomizedTrialofUncertaintyandCertaintyofReceivingIntercessoryPrayer,”AmericanHeartJournal151(2006):934–942.

136HenriJ.M.Nouwen,LifeoftheBeloved:SpiritualLivinginaSecularWorld,10thed.(NewYork:CrossroadPublishing,2002),26.

137JerryGladsonandCharlesPlott,“UnholyWedlock?ThePerilandPromiseofApplyingPsychologytotheBible,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity10(1991):54–64.

138Therearemanysuchbooks.Forexample,GaryR.Collins,TheBiblicalBasisofChristianCounselingforPeopleHelpers(ColoradoSprings,Colo.:NavPress,1993);GaryR.Collins,ChristianCounseling:AComprehensiveGuide(Waco,Tex.:Word,1980);LawrenceJ.Crabb,Jr.,EffectiveBiblicalCounseling:AModelofHelpingCaringChristiansBecomeCapableCounselors(GrandRapids:Zondervan,1977);RogerHurding,TheBibleandCounselling(London:Hodder&Stoughton,1992).

139DanielS.SweeneyandGarryLandreth,“HealingaChild’sSpiritthroughPlayTherapy:AScripturalApproachtoTreatingChildren,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity12(1993):351–356.

140Forexample,DelMyraCarter,“AnIntegratedApproachtoPastoralTherapy,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology14(1986):146–154;Siang-YangTan,“Cognitive-BehaviorTherapy:ABiblicalApproach,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology15(1987):103–112.FordiscussionsaboutRET,seePaulHauck,“ReligionandRET:FriendsorFoes?”ClinicalApplicationsofRational-EmotiveTherapy,ed.AlbertEllisandM.E.Bernard(NewYork:PlenumPress,1985),237–255;W.BradJohnson,“ChristianRational-EmotiveTherapy:ATreatmentProtocol,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity12(1993):254–261;ConstanceLawrenceandCharlesH.Huber,“StrangeBedfellows?:Rational-EmotiveTherapyandPastoralCounseling,”ThePersonnelandGuidanceJournal61(1982):210–212;SandraD.M.Warnock,“Rational-EmotiveTherapyandtheChristianClient,”JournalofRational-Emotive&Cognitive-BehaviorTherapy7(1989):263–274.

141ConstanceLawrence,“Rational-EmotiveTherapyandtheReligiousClient,”JournalofRational-EmotiveTherapy5(1987):19.

142Forexample,EdBulkley,WhyChristiansCan’tTrustPsychology(Eugene,Ore.:HarvestHouse,1993);DaveHuntandT.A.McMahon,TheSeductionofChristianity(Eugene,Ore.:HarvestHouse,1985);JayE.Adams,CompetenttoCounsel(GrandRapids:Baker,1970).

143IhavearguedelsewherethatonemustcriticallyevaluatetheworldviewdifferencesbetweenRETandChristianitybeforeacceptingRETasatoolforChristiantherapy.SeeMarkR.McMinn,“RET,Constructivism,andChristianity:AHermeneuticforChristian

CognitiveTherapy,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity13(1994):342–355.

144FordiscussionsofScriptureusedtoconfrontcodependency,seeRichardJ.RiodanandDianeSimone,“CodependentChristians:SomeIssuesforChurch-BasedRecoveryGroups,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology21(1993):158–164;foruseofScriptureinaddressingsexualaffairs,seeJ.LeeJagers,“PuttingHumptyTogetherAgain:ReconcilingthePost-AffairMarriage,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity8(1989):63–72;forsuggestionsforusingScriptureinplaytherapy,seeElaineD.StoverandMarkStover,“BiblicalStorytellingasaFormofChildTherapy,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity13(1994):28–36;foruseofScripturetoconfrontirrationalbeliefs,seeW.BradJohnson,“ChristianRational-EmotiveTherapy:ATreatmentProtocol,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity12(1993):254–261;forsuggestionsforusingScriptureashomeworkincognitivetherapy,seeMarkR.McMinn,CognitiveTherapyTechniquesinChristianCounseling(Waco,Tex.:Word).

145ShawnW.Hales,RandallSorenson,JoanJones,andJohnCoe,“PsychotherapistsandtheReligiousDisciplines:PersonalBeliefsandProfessionalPractice,”paperpresentedattheconferenceoftheChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies,VirginiaBeach,April1995.

146RobertA.BallandRodneyK.Goodyear,“Self-reportedProfessionalPracticesofChristianPsychotherapists,”PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,ed.EverettL.Worthington,Jr.(GrandRapids:Baker,1993),171–182.

147AlbertEllis,“TheAdvantagesandDisadvantagesofSelf-helpTherapyMaterials,”ProfessionalPsychology:ResearchandPractice24(1993):336.

148EricL.Johnson,“APlacefortheBiblewithinPsychologicalScience,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology20(1992):346–355.

149DavidH.Kelsey,TheUsesofScriptureinRecentTheology(Philadelphia:FortressPress,1975),1.

150Ibid.

151MillardJ.Erickson,ChristianTheology(GrandRapids:Baker,1985),30–33.

152Ibid.,256.

153JohnCalvin,“Book1:OntheKnowledgeofGodtheCreator,”JohnCalvinontheChristianFaith,ed.JohnT.McNeill(NewYork:TheLiberalArtsPress,1957),3–41.

154Ibid.,19.

155Forausefulintroductiontohermeneutics,seeGaryR.Collins,TheBiblicalBasisofChristianCounselingforPeopleHelpers(ColoradoSprings,Colo.:NavPress,1993),41–59.

156RichardJ.Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline:ThePathtoSpiritualGrowth(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),29.

157Ibid.

158Forexample,seeThomasMerton,PrayingthePsalms(Collegeville,Minn.:LiturgicalPress,1956).

159Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline,29.

160Forahelpfuldiscussiononthis,seeGaryR.Collins,“ThePuzzleofPopularSpirituality,”ChristianCounselingToday(winter1994):10–14.

161BonnieHorrigan,“ChristianeNorthrup,MD:MedicalPracticeasaSpiritualJourney,”AlternativeTherapiesinHealthandMedicine1(1995):64–71.

162StantonL.Jones,“TentativeReflectionsontheRoleofScriptureinCounseling,”presentationmadetopsychologygraduatestudentsatWheatonCollege,April,1994.

163SeePhilippians4:8-9.

164ThesepotentialproblemswereoriginallyobservedbymycolleagueandgoodfriendStantonL.Jones,“TentativeReflectionsontheRoleofScriptureinCounseling,”presentationmadetopsychologygraduatestudentsatWheatonCollege,April,1994.StanalsodiscussedseveralhelpfulaspectsofusingScriptureincounseling,includingtheopportunitytoconsiderbothpsychologicalandspiritualgrowth,glorifyingGodbyvaluingScripture,trustinginasourcemorecrediblethanhumanwisdom,andencouragingtheclienttolooktoScriptureforcontinuedguidance.

165GaryW.Moon,JudyW.Bailey,JohnC.Kwasny,andDaleE.Willis,“TrainingintheUseofChristianDisciplinesasCounselingTechniqueswithinChristianGraduateTrainingPrograms,”PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,ed.EverettL.Worthington,Jr.(GrandRapids:Baker,1993),191–203.

166BallandGoodyear,“Self-reportedProfessionalPractices,”PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,171–182.

167Forthreeexamplesofthis,seeW.BradJohnson,“ChristianRational-EmotiveTherapy:ATreatmentProtocol,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity12(1993):254–261;MarkR.McMinn,CognitiveTherapyTechniquesinChristianCounseling(Waco,Tex.:Word);CharlesR.Barr,“PanicDisorder:‘TheFearofFeelings,’”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity14(1995):112–125.

168LouisN.Gruber,“TrueandFalseSpirituality:AFrameworkforChristianBehavioralMedicine,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity14(1995):140.ItalicsareDr.Gruber’s.

169DallasWillard,TheSpiritoftheDisciplines(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),176.

170Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline,71.

171Willard,Disciplines,177.

172StanleyR.Graham,“Desire,Belief,andGrace:APsychotherapeuticParadigm,”Psychotherapy:Theory,Research,andPractice17(1980):370.

173Siang-YangTan,“ReligiousValuesandInterventionsinLayChristianCounseling,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity10(1991):173–182.

174W.BradJohnson,“OutcomeResearchandReligiousPsychotherapies:WhereAreWeandWhereAreWeGoing?”JournalofPsychologyandTheology21(1993):297–308.

175W.BradJohnson,RonaldDeVries,CharlesR.Ridley,DonaldPettorini,andDelandR.Peterson,“TheComparativeEfficacyofChristianandSecularRational-EmotiveTherapywithChristianClients,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology22(1994):130–140.

176W.BradJohnsonandCharlesR.Ridley,“BriefChristianandNon-ChristianRational-EmotiveTherapywithDepressedChristianClients:AnExploratoryStudy,”CounselingandValues36(1992):220–229;DavidRichardPecheurandKeithJ.Edwards,“AComparisonofSecularandReligiousVersionsofCognitiveTherapywithDepressedChristianCollegeStudents,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology12(1984):45–54.

177L.RebeccaPropst,“TheComparativeEfficacyofReligiousandNon-religiousImageryfortheTreatmentofMildDepressioninReligiousIndividuals,”CognitiveTherapyandResearch4(1980):167–178;L.RebeccaPropst,RichardOstrom,PhilipWatkins,TerriDean,andDavidMashburn,“ComparativeEfficacyofReligiousandNonreligiousCognitive-behavioralTherapyfortheTreatmentofClinicalDepressioninReligiousIndividuals,”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology60(1992):94–103.

178SeeSiang-YangTan,“EthicalConsiderationsinReligiousPsychotherapy:PotentialPitfallsandUniqueResources,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology22(1994):389–394;alsoseeAlanC.Tjeltveit,“TheEthicsofValueConversioninPsychotherapy:AppropriateandInappropriateTherapistInfluenceonClientValues,”ClinicalPsychologyReview6(1986):515–537.

179DavidW.Holling,“PastoralPsychotherapy:IsItUnique?”CounselingandValues34(1990):96–102.

180RichardSchultz,“ResponsibleHermeneuticsforWisdomLiterature,”inCarefortheSoul:ExploringtheIntersectionofPsychologyandTheology,ed.MarkR.McMinnandTimothyR.Phillips(DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPress,2001),254–275.

181GordonD.FeeandDouglasStuart,HowtoReadtheBibleforAllItsWorth,3rded.(GrandRapids:Zondervan,2003).

182FernandoGarzon,“InterventionsthatApplyScriptureinPsychotherapy,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology33(2005):113–121.

183DonaldF.Walker,“IntegratingScripturewithParentTraininginBehavioralInterventions,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity26(2007):122–131.

184RichardLederer,AnguishedEnglish(NewYork:Dell,1987),22.

185AlbertEllis,“ThereIsNoPlacefortheConceptofSininPsychotherapy,”Journalof

CounselingPsychology7(1960):192.

186JayE.Adams,CompetenttoCounsel(GrandRapids:Baker,1970),29.Dr.Adamshasreceivedagreatdealofunfair,uninformedcriticismfromtheChristiancounselingcommunity.ThoughIdonotshareDr.Adams’sopiniononconfrontingsinincounseling,Idorespecthispioneeringworkinbiblicalcounseling.Contemporarybiblicalcounselorsdemonstratebothanawarenessofsininhumanproblemsandacommitmenttoempathyandcompassionthatisoftenoverlookedbythosecriticizingtheirwork.MostChristiancounselorshavedistinctdifferencesfrommostbiblicalcounselors,asImyselfdo,butourcommonChristianbondcallsustoworktogetherandlookforwayswecanhelponeanotherinourworkandministries.

187O.HobartMowrer,“IntegrityGroups:BasicPrinciplesandObjective,”TheCounselingPsychologist3(1972):7–32.

188O.HobartMowrer,“‘Sin,’theLesserofTwoEvils,”AmericanPsychologist15(1960):303.

189SeeJamesD.Smrtic,“TimetoRemoveOurTheoreticalBlinders:IntegrityTherapyMayBetheRightWay,”Psychotherapy:Theory,Research,andPractice16(1979):185–189;O.HobartMowrerandA.V.Veszelovszky,“ThereMayIndeedBea‘RightWay’:ResponsetoJamesD.Smrtic,”Psychotherapy:Theory,Research,andPractice17(1980):440–447.

190KarlMenninger,WhateverBecameofSin?(NewYork:HawthorneBooks,1973).

191SeveralarticleshaveappearedrecentlyinPastoralPsychology:DonaldCapps,“TheDeadlySinsandSavingVirtues:HowTheyAreViewedbyClergy,”PastoralPsychology40(1992):209–233;MichaelE.Cavanagh,“TheConceptofSininPastoralCounseling,”PastoralPsychology41(1992):81–87;AndrewD.ReisnerandPeterLawson,“Psychotherapy,Sin,andMentalHealth,”PastoralPsychology40(1992):303–311.

192Dr.BernardWeinerhastheorizedvariousimplicationsforviewingpeopleeitherassickorassinners.SeeBernardWeiner,“OnSinVersusSickness:ATheoryofPerceivedResponsibilityandSocialMotivation,”AmericanPsychologist48(1993):957–965.

193LynY.Abramson,MartinE.P.Seligman,andJohnD.Teasdale,“LearnedHelplessness

inHumans:CritiqueandReformulation,”JournalofAbnormalPsychology87(1978):49–70.

194MillardJ.Erickson,ChristianTheology(GrandRapids:Baker,1985),578.

195EdwinZackrison,“ATheologyofSin,Grace,andForgiveness,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology11(1992):147–159.

196ThepsychologicalimplicationsoftheuniversalnatureofsinarediscussedinJohnD.Carter,“Psychopathology,SinandtheDSM:ConvergenceandDivergence,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology22(1994):277–285.

197Foramorecompletediscussionofthis,seeMarkR.McMinnandGordonN.McMinn,“CompleteYetInadequate:TheRoleofLearnedHelplessnessandSelf-AttributionfromtheWritingsofPaul,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology11(1983):303–310.

198Itshouldalsobenotedthattheseclaimsarenotsupportedbyempiricalresearch.See,forexample,AllenE.Bergin,“ValuesandReligiousIssuesinPsychotherapyandMentalHealth,”AmericanPsychologist46(1991):394–403.

199RichardJ.Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline:ThePathtoSpiritualGrowth(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),4–5.

200ThisquotationcomesfromTheImitationofChrist,aclassiceitherwrittenoreditedbyThomasàKempis.Itisincluded(onpage185),alongwithpassagesfrommanyotherdevotionalclassics,inRichardJ.FosterandJamesBryanSmith(eds.),DevotionalClassics(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1993).

201ThomasMerton,LifeandHoliness(NewYork:HerderandHerder,1963),65.

202ThisisaparaphraseofJames4:8.

203Augustine,“TheConfessionsofSt.Augustine,”TheTreasuryofChristianSpiritualClassics(Nashville:ThomasNelson,1994),1–156.Quotationfrompage13.

204Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline,6.

205CAPSmembersinonesurveyreportedconfrontingsinwithapproximately35percent

oftheirclients.SeeShawnW.Hales,RandallSorenson,JoanJones,andJohnCoe,“PsychotherapistsandtheReligiousDisciplines:PersonalBeliefsandProfessionalPractice,”paperpresentedattheconferenceoftheChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies,VirginiaBeach,April1995.InanothersurveyofCAPSmembers,confrontationwasrarelyused.Onlyonepercentofthereportedspiritualinterventionsinvolvedconfrontation.SeeRobertA.BallandRodneyK.Goodyear,“Self-reportedProfessionalPracticesofChristianPsychotherapists,”PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,ed.EverettL.Worthington,Jr.(GrandRapids:Baker,1993),171–182.

206SeeDavidK.Clark,“InterpretingtheBiblicalWordsfortheSelf,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology18(1990):309–317.

207C.S.Lewis,MereChristianity(NewYork:Macmillan,1952),167.

208Forahelpfuldiscussionofthisdistinction,seethewritingsfromTheologiaGermanica,includedinRichardJ.FosterandJamesBryanSmith(eds.),DevotionalClassics(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1993),147–153.

209SeeAmericanPsychiatricAssociation,DiagnosticandStatisticalManualofMentalDisorders,4thed.(Washington,D.C.:AmericanPsychiatricAssociation,1994),629–673.

210MarkR.McMinnandNathanielG.Wade,“BeliefsaboutthePrevalenceofDissociativeIdentityDisorder,SexualAbuse,andRitualAbuseamongReligiousandNon-religiousTherapists,”ProfessionalPsychology:ResearchandPractice26(1995):257–261.

211A.W.Tozer,ThePursuitofGod(CampHill,Penn:ChristianPublications,1993),111.

212Weiner,“OnSinVersusSickness,”AmericanPsychologist,957–965.

213BlaisePascal,Pensées(NewYork:VikingPenguin,1966translation),77.

214BenedictofNursia,“ExcerptsfromTheRule,”inDevotionalClassics,ed.RichardJ.FosterandJamesBryanSmith(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1993),180.

215Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline,55.

216DallasWillard,TheSpiritoftheDisciplines(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),166.

217ThissuggestionalsocomesfromRichardFoster.SeeRichardJ.FosterandJamesBryanSmith(eds.),DevotionalClassics(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1993),182.Fosterconcludes,“Prayitoften,andletitsoftenyourheart.”

218KennethL.Woodward,“WhatEverHappenedtoSin?”Newsweek(6February,1995):23.

219See,forexample,AlbertEllis,TheCaseagainstReligion:APsychotherapist’sView(NewYork:InstituteforRationalLiving,1971).Similarly,SigmundFreuddescribedreligionasaneurosis.

220AllenE.Bergin,“ReligiosityandMentalHealth:ACriticalReevaluationandMeta-analysis,”ProfessionalPsychology:ResearchandPractice14(1983):170–184;AllenE.Bergin,“ValuesandReligiousIssuesinPsychotherapyandMentalHealth,”AmericanPsychologist46(1991):394–403.

221AndrewD.ReisnerandPeterLawson,“Psychotherapy,Sin,andMentalHealth,”PastoralPsychology40(1992):303–311.

222AllenE.Bergin,“ValuesandReligiousIssuesinPsychotherapyandMentalHealth,”AmericanPsychologist46(1991):394–403.

223Idiscussthisinmoredetailelsewhere.SeeMarkR.McMinn,“RET,Constructivism,andChristianity:AHermeneuticforChristianCognitiveTherapy,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity13(1994):342–355.

224Iamnotaloneinsuggestinganeedforsuchamodel.See,forexample,WillFriesenandAlDueck,“WhateverHappenedtoLaw?”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity7(1988):13–22.

225SeeReisnerandLawson,“Psychotherapy,Sin,andMentalHealth,”PastoralPsychology,303–311.

226MarkR.McMinn,SinandGraceinChristianCounseling(DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPressAcademic,2008).

227MichaelJ.Lambert,“ImplicationsofOutcomeResearchforPsychotherapyIntegration,”inHandbookofPsychotherapyIntegration,ed.JohnC.NorcrossandMarvinR.Goldfried(NewYork:BasicBooks,1992),94–129.Also,JohnC.Norcross,ed.,PsychotherapyRelationshipsThatWork:TherapistContributionsandResponsivenesstoPatients(NewYork:OxfordUniversityPress,2002).

228AnthonyA.Hoekema,CreatedinGod’sImage(GrandRapids:Eerdmans,1986).

229KennethL.Woodward,“WhatEverHappenedtoSin?”Newsweek(6February1995):23.

230SharonHymer,ConfessionsinPsychotherapy(NewYork:GardnerPress,1988),2–3.

231BernardWeiner,SandraGraham,OliPeter,andMaryZmuidinas,“PublicConfessionandForgiveness,”JournalofPersonality59(1991):281–312.

232JamesW.Pennebaker,CherylF.Hughes,andRobinC.O’Heeron,“ThePsychophysiologyofConfession:LinkingInhibitoryandPsychosomaticProcesses,”JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology52(1987):781–793.

233JamesW.PennebakerandRobinC.O’Heeron,“ConfidinginOthersandIllnessRateAmongSpousesofSuicideandAccidentalDeathVictims,”JournalofAbnormalPsychology93(1984):473–476.

234ForanarticlecomparingpsychotherapywithRomanCatholicconfession,seeValerieWorthen,“PsychotherapyandCatholicConfession,”JournalofReligionandHealth13(1974):275–284.

235SeeElizabethTodd,“TheValueofConfessionandForgivenessaccordingtoJung,”JournalofReligionandHealth24(1985):42.

236Worthen,“PsychotherapyandCatholicConfession,”JournalofReligionandHealth,283.

237RichardC.Erickson,“MoralityandthePracticeofPsychotherapy,”PastoralPsychology43(1994):81–91.

238AllenE.Bergin,“PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,”JournalofConsultingand

ClinicalPsychology48(1980):95–105.

239Ibid.,100.

240Ibid.

241ItshouldbenotedthatnotallpsychologistsappreciatedBergin’sdichotomybetweentheisticandclinical-humanisticvalues.AlbertEllisandGaryWallsbothwrotecriticalresponsestoBergin’sarticle.SeeAlbertEllis,“PsychotherapyandAtheisticValues:AResponsetoA.E.Bergin’s‘PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,’”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology48(1980):635–639;GaryB.Walls,“ValuesandPsychotherapy:ACommenton‘PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,’”JournalofConsultingandClinicalPsychology48(1980):640–641.

242PortionsofthissectionarecondensedfromKatherynRhoadsMeek,JeanneS.Albright,andMarkR.McMinn,“ReligiousOrientation,Guilt,Confession,andForgiveness,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology,(fall1995).

243AlbertEllis,“ThereIsNoPlacefortheConceptofSininPsychotherapy,”JournalofCounselingPsychology7(1960):188–192.

244O.HobartMowrerandA.V.Veszelovszky,“ThereMayIndeedBea‘RightWay’:ResponsetoJamesD.Smrtic,”Psychotherapy:Theory,Research,andPractice17(1980):440–447;JunePriceTangney,“MoralAffect:TheGood,theBad,andtheUgly,”JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology61(1991):598–607.

245P.ScottRichards,“ReligiousDevoutnessinCollegeStudents:RelationswithEmotionalAdjustmentandPsychologicalSeparationfromParents,”JournalofCounselingPsychology38(1991):189–196.

246RichardGramzowandJunePriceTangney,“PronenesstoShameandtheNarcissisticPersonality,”PersonalityandSocialPsychologyBulletin18(1992):369–376;JunePriceTangney,“MoralAffect:TheGood,theBad,andtheUgly,”JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology61(1991):598–607;JunePriceTangney,PatriciaE.Wagner,andRichardGramzow,“PronenesstoShame,PronenesstoGuilt,andPsychopathology,”JournalofAbnormalPsychology103(1992):469–478.

247JunePriceTangney,PatriciaWagner,CareyFletcher,andRichardGramzow,“Shamed

intoAnger?TheRelationofShameandGuilttoAngerandSelf-ReportedAggression,”JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology62(1992):669–675.

248Thisstudyisreportedinmoredetailelsewhere:Meek,Albright,andMcMinn,“ReligiousOrientation,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology(fall1995).

249S.BruceNarramore,NoCondemnation(GrandRapids:Zondervan,1984).

250Richards,“ReligiousDevoutnessinCollegeStudents,”JournalofCounselingPsychology,194.

25123.JaniceLindsay-Hartz,“ContrastingExperiencesofShameandGuilt,”AmericanBehavioralScientist27(1984):689–704.

252DavidBelgum,Guilt:WherePsychologyandReligionMeet(EnglewoodCliffs,N.J.:Prentice-Hall,1963),52.Italicshis.

253SeeLudwigBieler,TheWorksofSt.Patrick(NewYork:NewmanPress,1953);Augustine,“TheConfessionsofSt.Augustine,”TheTreasuryofChristianSpiritualClassics(Nashville:ThomasNelson,1994),1–156.

254JohnCalvin,InstitutesoftheChristianReligions,ed.JohnT.McNeill(Philadelphia:WestminsterPress,1960),670.

255FromGreatCatechism.CitedinDietrichBonhoeffer,TheCostofDiscipleship(NewYork:Macmillan,1959),325.

256ThesevaluesofthesacramentofpenancearepointedoutbyRichardJ.Foster,aProtestantwriter,inCelebrationofDiscipline:ThePathtoSpiritualGrowth(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),148.

257Thesetwoaspectsofconfession,includingthespecificconfessionmodelsthatfollow,arediscussedinH.E.Jacobs,“Confession,”TheInternationalStandardBibleEncyclopedia,ed.JamesOrretal.,(GrandRapids:Eerdmans,1956),699–700.

258FromLetterstoMalcolm.CitedinRichardJ.Foster,Prayer:FindingtheHeart’sTrueHome(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1992),43.

259JeremyTaylor“ExcerptsfromTheRuleandExercisesofHolyLiving,”DevotionalClassics,ed.RichardJ.FosterandJamesBryanSmith,(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1993),269.

260DallasWillard,TheSpiritoftheDisciplines(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),186.

261SaintJohnoftheCross,“ExcerptsfromTheDarkNightoftheSoul,”DevotionalClassics,ed.RichardJ.FosterandJamesBryanSmith,(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1993),33.

262Ibid.,34.

263Ibid.

264Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline,144.

265Bonhoeffer,Discipleship,325.

266Hymer,Confessions,174.

267Willard,Disciplines,188.

268Augustine,“TheConfessionsofSt.Augustine,”TheTreasuryofChristianSpiritualClassics(Nashville:ThomasNelson,1994),54.

269Foramorethoroughdiscussionoftheseformsofprofessionaldevelopment,seeMarkR.McMinnandKatherynRhoadsMeek,“TrainingPrograms,”EthicsandtheChristianMentalHealthProfessional,ed.RandolphSaunders(DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPress,1996).

270ShawnW.Hales,RandallSorenson,JoanJones,andJohnCoe,“PsychotherapistsandtheReligiousDisciplines:PersonalBeliefsandProfessionalPractice,”paperpresentedattheconferenceoftheChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies,VirginiaBeach,April1995.

271GaryW.Moon,JudyW.Bailey,JohnC.Kwasny,andDaleE.Willis,“TrainingintheUseofChristianDisciplinesasCounselingTechniqueswithinChristianGraduateTrainingPrograms,”PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,ed.EverettL.Worthington,Jr.

(GrandRapids:Baker,1993),191–203.

272Thesegroupsareinadditiontoclinicalsupervision,whichstudentsobtainattheirtrainingsites.

273ThomasàKempis,“TheImitationofChrist,”TheTreasuryofChristianSpiritualClassics(Nashville:ThomasNelson,1994),433–554.Quotefrompage444.

274Hymer,Confessions,5–7.

275Foradiscussionofthisprinciple,aswellaspsychologists’viewsofspecificbehaviors,see:KennethS.Pope,BarbaraG.Tabachnick,andPatriciaKeith-Spiegel,“EthicsofPractice:TheBeliefsandBehaviorsofPsychologistsasTherapists,”AmericanPsychologist42(1987):993–1006.

276Theseresultsarereportedindetailelsewhere:MarkR.McMinnandKatherynRhoadsMeek,“EthicsAmongChristianCounselors:ASurveyofBeliefsandBehaviors,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology.

277SeeKennethS.PopeandJacquelineC.Bouhoutsos,SexualIntimacybetweenTherapists&Patients(NewYork:Praeger,1986),3–6.

278BlaisePascal,Pensées(NewYork:VikingPenguin,1966translation),146.

279AngelaG.McCormickandMarkR.McMinn,“IsConfessionPerceivedasGoodfortheSoul?”Manuscriptsubmittedforpublication.

280SeeLuke18:9-14.

281Forexample,seeEllenBassandLauraDavis,TheCouragetoHeal:AGuideforWomenSurvivorsofChildSexualAbuse(NewYork:HarperCollins,1992):AliceMiller,BanishedKnowledge(NewYork:Doubleday,1990).

282See,forexample,DonnaS.Davenport,“TheFunctionsofAngerandForgiveness:GuidelinesforPsychotherapywithVictims,”Psychotherapy28(1991):140–144;JohnH.HeblandRobertD.Enright,“ForgivenessasaPsychotherapeuticGoalwithElderlyFemales,”Psychotherapy30(1993):658–667;DonaldHope,“TheHealingParadoxofForgiveness,”Psychotherapy24(1987):240–244;HumanDevelopmentStudyGroup,

“FivePointsontheConstructofForgivenesswithinPsychotherapy,”Psychotherapy28(1991):493–496;EverettL.Worthington,Jr.,andFrederickA.DiBlasio,“PromotingMutualForgivenesswithintheFracturedRelationship,”Psychotherapy27(1990):219–223.

283Forexample,seeFrederickA.DiBlasioandBrentB.Benda,“Practitioners,Religion,andtheUseofForgivenessintheClinicalSetting,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity10(1991):166–172;RobertD.EnrightandRobertL.Zell,“ProblemsEncounteredWhenWeForgiveOneAnother,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity8(1989):52–60;JaredP.Pingleton,“TheRoleandFunctionofForgivenessinthePsychotherapeuticProcess,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity17(1989):27–35.

284MichaelE.McCulloughandEverettL.Worthington,Jr.,“ModelsofInterpersonalForgivenessandTheirApplicationstoCounseling,”CounselingandValues39(1994):2–14;MichaelE.McCulloughandEverettL.Worthington,Jr.,“EncouragingClientstoForgivePeopleWhoHaveHurtThem:Review,Critique,andResearchProspectus,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology22(1994):3–20;StevenJ.Sandage,EverettL.Worthington,Jr.,andWilliamSmith,“SeekingForgiveness:TowardanIntegrationofPsychologyandTheology,”paperpresentedattheannualmeetingsoftheChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies,VirginiaBeach,April1995.

285GlennVeenstra,“PsychologicalConceptsofForgiveness,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity11(1992):160–169.

286PaulA.Mauger,TomFreeman,AliciaG.McBride,JacquelineEscanoPerry,DianneC.Grove,andKathleenE.McKinney,“TheMeasurementofForgiveness:PreliminaryResearch,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity11(1992):170–180;MichaelJ.Subkoviak,RobertD.Enright,andChing-RuWu,“CurrentDevelopmentsRelatedtoMeasuringForgiveness,”paperpresentedattheannualmeetingoftheMid-WesternEducationalResearchAssociation,Chicago,October1992;MichaelJ.Subkoviak,RobertD.Enright,Ching-RuWu,ElizabethA.Gassin,SuzanneFreedman,LeanneM.Olson,andIssidorosSarinopoulos,“MeasuringInterpersonalForgiveness,”paperpresentedattheannualmeetingsoftheAmericanEducationalResearchAssociation,SanFrancisco,April1992.

287Therearemanysucharticles.Forexample,seeCydeA.Bonar,“PersonalityTheoriesandAskingForgiveness,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity8(1989):45–51;EmilyF.Carter,MichaelE.McCullough,StevenJ.Sandage,andEverettL.

Worthington,Jr.,“WhatHappensWhenPeopleForgive?Theories,Speculations,andImplicationsforIndividualandMaritalTherapy,”paperpresentedatthemeetingsoftheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation,LosAngeles,August1994;RobertD.Enright,“PiagetontheMoralDevelopmentofForgiveness:IdentityorReciprocity?”HumanDevelopment37(1994):63–80;JohnGartner,“TheCapacitytoForgive:AnObjectRelationsPerspective,”JournalofReligionandHealth27(1988):313–320;ElizabethA.GassinandRobertD.Enright,“TheWilltoMeaningintheProcessofForgiveness,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity14(1995):38–49;ElizabethDesPortesDreelinandH.NewtMalony,“ReligiousFunctioningandForgiveness,”paperpresentedatthemeetingsoftheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation,LosAngeles,August1994.

288EducationalPsychologyStudyGroup,“MustaChristianRequireRepentancebeforeForgiving?”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity9(1990):16–19;RobertD.Enright,DavidL.Eastin,SandraGolden,IssidorosSarinopoulos,andSuzanneFreedman,“InterpersonalForgivenesswithintheHelpingProfessions:AnAttempttoResolveDifferencesofOpinion,”CounselingandValues36(1992):84–103;RobertD.EnrightandRobertL.Zell,“ProblemsEncounteredWhenWeForgiveOneAnother,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity8(1989):52–60.

289ColleenK.Benson,“ForgivenessandthePsychotherapeuticProcess,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity11(1992):76–81;KennethCloke,“Revenge,Forgiveness,andtheMagicofMediation,”MediationQuarterly11(1993):67–78;DonnaS.Davenport,“TheFunctionsofAngerandForgiveness:GuidelinesforPsychotherapywithVictims,”Psychotherapy28(1991):140–144;FrederickA.DiBlasio,“TheRoleofSocialWorkers’ReligiousBeliefsinHelpingFamilyMembersForgive,”FamiliesinSociety:TheJournalofContemporaryHumanServices(March,1993):163–170;FrederickA.DiBlasio,“ForgivenessinPsychotherapy:ComparisonofOlderandYoungerTherapists,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity11(1992):181–187;FrederickA.DiBlasioandBrentB.Benda,“Practitioners,Religion,andtheUseofForgivenessintheClinicalSetting,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity10(1991):166–172;FrederickA.DiBlasioandJudithHarrisProctor,“TherapistsandtheClinicalUseofForgiveness,”TheAmericanJournalofFamilyTherapy21(1993):175–184;JohnH.HeblandRobertD.Enright,“ForgivenessasaPsychotherapeuticGoalwithElderlyFemales,”Psychotherapy30(1993):658–667;HumanDevelopmentStudyGroup,“FivePointsontheConstructofForgivenesswithinPsychotherapy,”Psychotherapy28(1991):493–496;JaredP.Pingleton,“TheRoleandFunctionofForgivenessinthePsychotherapeuticProcess,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology17(1989):27–35;CharlotteM.RosenakandG.MackHarnden,“Forgivenessinthe

PsychotherapeuticProcess:ClinicalApplications,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity11(1992):188–197;EverettL.Worthington,Jr.,andFrederickA.DiBlasio,“PromotingMutualForgivenesswithintheFracturedRelationship,”Psychotherapy27(1990):219–223.

290AliceMiller,BanishedKnowledge(NewYork:Doubleday,1990).

291BassandDavis,TheCouragetoHeal,150.

292Ibid.

293EverettL.Worthington,Jr.,andFrederickA.DiBlasio,“PromotingMutualForgivenesswithintheFracturedRelationship,”Psychotherapy27(1990):219–220.

294DonaldHope,“TheHealingParadoxofForgiveness,”Psychotherapy24(1987):240–244.

295HumanDevelopmentStudyGroup,“FivePointsontheConstructofForgivenesswithinPsychotherapy,”Psychotherapy28(1991):494.

296JaredP.Pingleton,“TheRoleandFunctionofForgivenessinthePsychotherapeuticProcess,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity17(1989):33.

297MichaelE.McCulloughandEverettL.Worthington,Jr.,“EncouragingClientstoForgivePeopleWhoHaveHurtThem:Review,Critique,andResearchProspectus,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology22(1994):3.

298DietrichBonhoeffer,TheCostofDiscipleship(NewYork:Macmillan,1959),100.

299SeeJerryA.Gladson,“HigherthantheHeavens:ForgivenessintheOldTestament,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity11(1992):125–135;seealsoMadelynnJones-Haldeman,“ImplicationsfromSelectedLiteraryDevicesforaNewTestamentTheologyofGraceandForgiveness,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity11(1992):136–146.

300MillardJ.Erickson,ChristianTheology(GrandRapids:Baker,1985),563.

301LewisB.Smedes,ForgiveandForget:HealingtheHurtsWeDon’tDeserve(SanFrancisco,HarperandRow,1984),104.

302ThiswritingofSaintFranciscanbefoundinD.Hazard,ADayinYourPresence:A40-DayJourneyintheCompanyofFrancisofAssisi(Minneapolis:BethanyHouse,1992),86.

303ThomasàKempis,“TheImitationofChrist,”TheTreasuryofChristianSpiritualClassics(Nashville:ThomasNelson,1994),447.

304TheseprerequisitesaredescribedindetailinDonnaS.Davenport,“TheFunctionsofAngerandForgiveness:GuidelinesforPsychotherapywithVictims,”Psychotherapy28(1991):141–142.

305DavidAugsburger,CaringEnoughtoForgive(Ventura,Calif.:RegalBooks,1981),95.

306ThetermpseudoforgivenessisusedbytheHumanDevelopmentStudyGroup,“FivePointsontheConstructofForgivenesswithinPsychotherapy,”Psychotherapy,28(1991):493–496.

307Forahelpfularticleontheprocessofforgiveness,seeCharlotteM.RosenakandG.MackHarnden,“ForgivenessinthePsychotherapeuticProcess:ClinicalApplications,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity11(1992):188–197.

308Counselorsneedtobeginwithaproperdefinitionofforgiveness.Formorediscussionofthispoint,seeHumanDevelopmentStudyGroup,“FivePointsontheConstructofForgivenesswithinPsychotherapy,”Psychotherapy28(1991):493–494.

309Foradiscussionofhumilityvs.humiliation,seeBobbyB.Cunningham,“TheWilltoForgive:APastoralTheologicalViewofForgiving,”TheJournalofPastoralCare39(1985):141–149.

310Forseveralperspectivesonthecommonfactorsthatmakevariousformsoftherapyeffective,seethearticlesinthespring1995issueofClinicalPsychology:ScienceandPractice.

311Hope,“HealingParadox,”Psychotherapy,241.

312Bonhoeffer,Discipleship,45.

313Foradiscussionofexcusingorcondoningbehavior,asopposedtotrueforgiveness,see

Veenstra,“PsychologicalConcepts,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity,161–166.

314GaryW.Moon,JudyW.Bailey,JohnC.Kwasny,andDaleE.Willis,“TrainingintheUseofChristianDisciplinesasCounselingTechniqueswithinChristianGraduateTrainingPrograms,”PsychotherapyandReligiousValues,ed.EverettL.Worthington,Jr.(GrandRapids:Baker,1993),191–203.

315ShawnW.Hales,RandallSorenson,JoanJones,andJohnCoe,“PsychotherapistsandtheReligiousDisciplines:PersonalBeliefsandProfessionalPractice,”paperpresentedattheconferenceoftheChristianAssociationforPsychologicalStudies,VirginiaBeach,April1995.

316Worthington,Jr.,andDiBlasio,“PromotingMutualForgiveness,”Psychotherapy,219–223.

317Davenport,“FunctionsofAngerandForgiveness,”Psychotherapy,140–144;JohnH.HeblandRobertD.Enright,“ForgivenessasaPsychotherapeuticGoalwithElderlyFemales,”Psychotherapy30(1993):658–667;Hope,“HealingParadox,”Psychotherapy,240–244.

318DiBlasioandBenda,“Practitioners,Religion,andtheUseofForgivenessintheClinicalSetting,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity,166–172.

319Hope,“HealingParadox,”Psychotherapy,242.

320EdwinZackrison,“ATheologyofSin,Grace,andForgiveness,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity11(1992):157.

321Maugeretal.,“TheMeasurementofForgiveness,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity,170–180;MichaelJ.Subkoviak,RobertD.Enright,andChing-RuWu,“CurrentDevelopmentsRelatedtoMeasuringForgiveness,”paperpresentedattheannualmeetingoftheMid-WesternEducationalResearchAssociation,Chicago,October1992;MichaelJ.Subkoviak,RobertD.Enright,Ching-RuWu,ElizabethA.Gassin,SuzanneFreedman,LeanneM.Olson,andIssidorosSarinopoulos,“MeasuringInterpersonalForgiveness,”paperpresentedattheannualmeetingsoftheAmericanEducationalResearchAssociation,SanFrancisco,April1992;S.H.Wade,“TheDevelopmentofaScaletoMeasureForgiveness,”Ph.D.diss.,FullerTheologicalSeminary,1989.

322JohnH.HeblandRobertD.Enright,“ForgivenessasaPsychotherapeuticGoalwithElderlyFemales,”Psychotherapy30(1993):658–667.

323Benson,“Forgiveness,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity,79;JohnGartner,“TheCapacitytoForgive:AnObjectRelationsPerspective,”JournalofReligionandHealth27(1988):313–320.

324KathleenA.Lawler,JarredW.Younger,RachelL.Piferi,RebeccaL.Jobe,KimberleyA.Edmondson,andWarrenH.Jones,“TheUniqueEffectsofForgivenessonHealth:AnExplorationofPathways,”JournalofBehavioralMedicine28(2005):157–167.

325E.L.WorthingtonJr.,ForgivingandReconciling:BridgestoWholenessandHope(DownersGrove,Ill.:InterVarsityPress,2003).

326BradW.Lundahl,MaryJaneTaylor,RyanStevenson,andK.DanielRoberts,“Process-BasedForgivenessInterventions:AMeta-AnalyticReview,”ResearchonSocialWorkPractice18(2008):465–478.

327MarkR.McMinn,HeathFervida,KeithA.Louwerse,JenniferL.Pop,RyanD.Thompson,BobbyL.Trihub,andSusanMcLeod-Harrison,“ForgivenessandPrayer,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity27(2008):101–109.

328GaryL.Welton,PeterC.Hill,andKevinS.Seybold,“ForgivenessintheTrenches:Empathy,PerspectiveTaking,andAnger,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity27(2008):169.

329Ibelievethisstandardisappropriateforalltherapists,regardlessoftheirreligiousorientation.Thoughitisnotcommonpractice,Ibelieveagnosticoratheisticcounselorsshouldalsomaketheirreligiousvaluesknownpriortostartingcounselingrelationships.Evennonreligiouspeoplehavereligiousvaluesthatpotentiallyaffectcounselingprocessandoutcome.

330Thisdescriptionisadmittedlyacognitivetherapist’sslantonobject-relationstheory.SeeAnthonyRyle,Cognitive-AnalyticTherapy:ActiveParticipationinChange(NewYork:Wiley,1990),96–118.

331StanleyR.Graham,“Desire,Belief,andGrace:APsychotherapeuticParadigm,”Psychotherapy:Theory,Research,andPractice17(1980):371.

332CondensedfromR.JohnHuber,“Psychotherapy:AGracefulActivity,”IndividualPsychology43(1987):439.

333TheconnectionbetweenAdlerianmethodsandgraceisdescribedwellinHuber,“AGracefulActivity,”IndividualPsychology,437–443.

334Fortwoexcellentbooksillustratingthechangestakingplaceincognitivetherapy,seeRichardC.BedrosianandGeorgeD.Bozicas,TreatingFamilyofOriginProblems:ACognitiveApproach(NewYork:Guilford,1994);JeremyD.SafranandZindelV.Segal,InterpersonalProcessinCognitiveTherapy(NewYork:BasicBooks,1990).

335KennethS.PopeandShirleyFeldman-Summers,“NationalSurveyofPsychologists’SexualandPhysicalAbuseHistoryandTheirEvaluationofTrainingandCompetenceinTheseAreas,”ProfessionalPsychology:ResearchandPractice23(1992):353–361.

336FrancisJ.McConnell,“Redemption,”TheInternationalStandardBibleEncyclopedia,ed.JamesOrretal.,2541–2544.

337ArelationalChristiantheologyhasimplicationsforcounselingpractice.SeeJamesH.Olthuis,“God-With-Us:TowardaRelationalPsychotherapeuticModel,”JournalofPsychologyandChristianity13(1994):37–49.

338J.StuartHoldenpublishedmanyofhissermonsinRedeemingVision(London:RobertScott,1908).Thisquotationisfrompage87.

339Wesley’sviewsonreligiousaffectionscanbefoundinGregoryScottClapper,“JohnWesleyonReligiousAffections:HisViewsonExperienceandEmotionandTheirRoleintheChristianLifeandTheology,”(Ph.D.diss.,EmoryUniversity,1985),211.

340JonathanEdwards,“ExcerptsfromReligiousAffections,”inDevotionalClassics,ed.RichardJ.FosterandJamesBryanSmith,(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1993),20.

341RichardJ.Foster,CelebrationofDiscipline:ThePathtoSpiritualGrowth(SanFrancisco:HarperCollins,1988),144.

342AndrewMurray,Humility(OldTappan,N.J.:FlemingH.Revell,1895),19.

343HendrikaVandeKemp,“PsychotherapyandRedemption:ATributetoa‘Dying

Mom,’”presentedatthe98thannualconventionoftheAmericanPsychologicalAssociation,Boston,August1990.

344TereseA.Hall,“SpiritualEffectsofChildhoodSexualAbuseinAdultChristianWomen,”JournalofPsychologyandTheology23(1995):129–134.

345ItisoftendifficulttoseeanyspiritualvalueduringtimeswhenGodseemsdistant,butpeopleoffaiththroughouthistoryhavefoundthesetobetimesofimportantspiritualgrowth.ThisthemeisfrequentlyseeninthePsalmsandalsointhewritingsofSaintJohnoftheCross,asdiscussedinchapter6.

346AmericanPsychologicalAssociation,“GuidelinesforProvidersofPsychologicalServicestoEthnic,Linguistic,andCulturallyDiversePopulations,”AmericanPsychologist48(1993):45–48.

347SeeHendrikaVandeKemp,“PsychotherapyasaReligiousProcess:AHistoricalHeritage,”PsychotherapyandtheReligiouslyCommittedPatient,ed.E.MarkStern(NewYork:HaworthPress,1985),135–146.

348DickWestley,RedemptiveIntimacy(Mystic,Conn.:Twenty-ThirdPublications,1981),quotefrombackcover.

349JoelWeinberger,“CommonFactorsAren’tSoCommon:TheCommonFactorsDilemma,”ClinicalPsychology:ScienceandPractice2(1995):45.

350Ibid.,61.

351JebG.S.Brown,MichaelJ.Lambert,EdwardR.Jones,andTakuyaMinami,“IdentifyingHighlyEffectivePsychotherapistsinaManagedCareEnvironment,”TheAmericanJournalofManagedCare11(2005):513–520.SeealsoBruceWampold,“NotaScintillaofEvidencetoSupportEmpiricallySupportedTreatmentsasMoreEffectiveThanOtherTreatments,”inEvidence-BasedPracticeinMentalHealth,ed.J.C.Norcross,L.E.Beutler,andR.F.Levant(Washington,D.C.:AmericanPsychologicalAssociation,2006),299–307.