Copyright © 2005 by Clayton CliffordBye

All rights reserved. No part of thispublication may be reproduced ortransmitted in any form, or byelectronic or mechanical means,including any information storage orretrieval system, without permissionin writing from the publisher.

Published in 2005 by ChaseEnterprises

Box 2922, Kenora, Ontario, Canada P9N4C8

ISBN: 0-9739933-1-6

AUTHOR ’ S NOTE

This book presents a system forimproving personal achievement. Aswith any system, results may varywith the individual. The author does notguarantee specific results. The reader should also understandthat the author believes in andteaches a philosophy of personalresponsibility. Anyone using thisbook is responsible for his or herown actions, as well as theconsequences thereof.

INTRODUCTION

A TRUE STORY

I came home one evening from afourteen-hour workday, having had

three hours of sleep the nightbefore. I was tired, cranky andhungry.My wife met me at the door and said

“Can you take us over to the churchfor Kid’s Club?” My gut-level response? Gripe! Yeah, that’s right. I wanted to say

“No.” I wanted to remind her that ifshe had a driver’s license shewouldn’t need to ask. I wanted to saythat the kids could skip theirmeeting this week. I wanted to ask“What about my dinner?” But what I wanted wasn’t the best

(or the right) response. It was atypical response. Here’s what I forced myself to do

instead: I smiled. I said “Sure.” Itrudged out into the cold, scrapedthe frost off the windows of the

family car, started it up, went backinside and gave everyone a hug. I didthis because it was exactly theopposite of what I wanted to do.

This story took place several years ago, yetsimilar choices are required of me every day. It’ssomething that will never change. Successdemands you choose actions that are out of theordinary - every day. Are you prepared to makethat commitment?

CHAPTER ONE

THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF CONTRARIANISM

You want a better than average life?Stop doing what most people do. Begin rightnow. Don’t wait until later today.Don’t put it off until tomorrow. Makesome different choices - right now.I’m serious about this! Change is

one of the most universally hatedevents. You should be prepared towelcome it for that reason alone -just because most other people won’t.Call it Contrarian Thinking or Contrarianism.It’s a way to force yourself to lookat your choices from a differentperspective.Here’s the drill... When you want to

generate better results than you’vebeen getting, consider choosing abehaviour opposite of what you (ormost people) would normally select inthis particular situation. Now, I’mnot saying you have to follow thecourse of action this exercise pointsyou toward. Just give it seriousconsideration. Does this choice offerthe possibility of better results? Doyou have anything to lose byattempting this task? What other

alternatives can you think of thatmight lead you away from the ordinaryand toward the extraordinary? Makethe best decision for you - based onthe results you’re after. In concise terms, Contrarians

believe that the average person isn’toverly healthy, wealthy or happy -that these people just don’t make theright choices, or take the rightactions, that lead to a betterlifestyle. Contrarian philosophy alsosuggests outstanding achievementmight be as simple a matter aschoosing behaviours exactly oppositethe average.

Emulate the exceptional not the ineffectual.

Let me ask you a couple of directquestions. Do most of the people you

know deal with change well? Do you?If your answer was a no (and itshould have been), then there’s thejustification for becoming aContrarian. Simply put, if theresults most people obtain in a givensituation aren’t outstanding, whywould you want to behave the way theydo? Let’s use this handbook as an

example of what I’m taking about.Many people read self-help literaturepassively, using the same approachthey’d choose when sitting down witha novel. Be a Contrarian; do theopposite! Put the book down themoment you finish this paragraph, andact on what you’ve learned so far. Dosomething that opposes your normalchoices. Not overly affectionatetoward your spouse? Get up and give

the guy or gal a hug. Say “I loveyou.” Better yet, put on the coffee,get them something to read and dothose dishes they were about totackle; show them you love them. It’sthe opposite of what you’d normallydo, and yet it makes sense, doesn’tit? We all know intuitively thatbetter behaviours lead to betterrelationships. So, try what I’vesuggested... Put the book down for awhile,and do something that’s out of character, that’sthe exact opposite of what you usually do.Convinced? Probably not. But that’s

okay. Success is a journey, not adestination. The key is to keepmoving in the right direction, tomake more good decisions than bad. Let’s look at another example of the

kind of success-oriented movement youcan generate through Contrarian

thinking. This one deals withprocrastination, a problem ofepidemic proportions.Most people, I’m sure you’d agree,

have problems with their to-do lists.I know I did. The pressure of thingsleft undone was a constant in mylife, and there were always tasksthat seemed to get put off until theybecame so urgent they supercededeverything else, wreaking havoc withscheduled work, interfering with morepleasant pastimes, threatening thequality of my life. Solution? UsingContrarian philosophy, I began to dothe exact opposite of what I’d beendoing. Specifically, I made thecommitment to do my unpleasant tasksat the beginning of each day. Afterthese tasks were completed, I’d gothrough the rest of the day working

on a list of prioritized goals,refusing to worry about items shelvedfor another day because of timeconstraints. The results not onlyastounded me, they changed my life.

A Powerful Contrarian Technique

Step 1: Find the most distastefuljob on your to-do list and get itdone. Why? The choice representsContrarian philosophy as well as anyexample I could give you. There’ssomething invigorating about clearinga repugnant task from your list ofthings to do - and it’s uncommonbehaviour. Try it. You won’t bedisappointed.

Step 2: From now on, begin eachmorning by doing the least preferable

job(s) of the day. Chances are you’llfeel so good about yourselfprocrastination won’t seem half soattractive.

Step 3: Go through the rest of yourday working from a list ofprioritized goals. Recognize thatworrying about things left undone iscounterproductive, that a steady,energetic and worry-free progressionthrough your most important goalswill leave you further ahead at theend of the day than anything else youcould do. It’s another uncommon orContrarian choice.

Remember: When you’re prioritizing,don’t fall into the habit of puttingjobs at the bottom of your listbecause they’re difficult, or boring,

or nasty or... You get my drift,right? Arrange your tasks accordingto their importance and urgency - notby degree of difficulty.

I have many such examples ofContrarianism in action...Are you, or have you ever been, a

couch potato? I have. Here’s how Ibeat the habit: I made the decisionto give my wife $5 for her personalshopping fund every time I thoughtabout turning on the television orrenting a movie. The end result was Idon’t watch as much television as Iused to, and my wife was able toenjoy several months of shopping atmy expense. Do you have the habit of laying

blame when something unpleasanthappens? You’re not alone. The

Contrarian (and difficult) choice isto take responsibility where mostpeople wouldn’t. After all, there’s astaggering probability that at somepoint in the chain of events therewas an opportunity for you to havedone something to change the resultsyou experienced. The Contrarian wouldalso find out what it was he or shecould have done to get better resultsand would make the decision to altertheir behaviour next time around.Have you got the idea? By

identifying the things most peoplearen’t willing to do - then doingthose things yourself - you putyourself way out in front of thepack. So, stop wasting time. Make thechange right now. Get contrary. Getdifferent. Get on the high road tosuccess.

Stop doing what most people do, and start doing what successful people do.

Is that all there is to it? Dosuccessful people just choosebehaviours that oppose the average?For the most part, yes. In general,successful people set goals they’regoing to enjoy pursuing, work hard ona daily basis to achieve those goals,do the best they can within the realmof their abilities and spend littletime worrying about what they can’tdo or what others think. You mustknow, you must recognize, that theaverage person doesn’t go throughlife this way. The average person isreactive, rather than proactive. Theaverage person doesn’t chart andadhere to a specific course but tends

to be at the mercy of the winds ofchange, a statement supported by thelack of preparedness often exhibitedwhen a strong wind blows through.Think I’m being too harsh? Then

consider this course of action: Get apen and paper and write down exactlywhat you want from life, when youwant these things to happen and theresources you’ll probably need. Breakeach of these large goals down intosmaller and smaller tasks until youget to something you can doimmediately. Do this thing. Then dothe next task. And the next. And soon. What? It’s too hard? It’ll take too

much time? Well, you’re right. Thisis obviously an exercise without end,one that will take you a lifetime tocomplete. But that’s the point. I’m

convinced there are few people inthis world who make the decision tospend each of the days they’ve beengiven on this earth “on purpose.”Yet this is exactly what I’veobserved successful people doing! Ifthere’s one ability these individualsshare, it’s focus. Successful people“dig in.” They refuse to be dauntedby the lifelong challenge implied bythe word “success.” High achieversknow what they want and go for it.Be willing to cultivate experiences

which will move you relentlesslytoward your goals. Why? Because theaverage person won’t, and thesuccessful person will.

Spend the rest of your days “on purpose.”

The idea is so elegantly simple. At

some level, I believe all successfulpeople recognize that the meaningthey choose to place on theirexperiences determines the directionand shape of their lives. I likenthis ability to having a pair ofmagic glasses that illuminate what’simportant and diminish what’s not,that bestows the power to make greatchoices.This insight is important! If you

can manage to interpret your futureexperiences in positive, constructiveor proactive ways, I’m convinced youcan accomplish virtually anything youenvision. Why not begin now?

Get On Purpose

1. Review the patterns in your life,making a list of things you enjoy

doing that you’re also good at. Ifyou come up with zilch, go out andtry new experiences until you do finda pastime you can enjoy. Reasoning?If you can’t enjoy what you do,you’ll never achieve an enjoyablelifestyle.2. Lurking within this list of

things you enjoy are thousands ofopportunities. Your next job is tofind a product, service or idea youcan sell that’s related to this list.That’s right - sell. Most of us mustearn a living, and the only wayanyone ever makes money is to sell aproduct or a service or an idea.Every job in the world is, in someway, a service. All businesses sellsomething. And behind every one ofthese businesses and services areideas people have either discovered

or bought. It’s something everyoneshould think about, if notunderstand.

3. As for achieving outstandingsuccess in the field you’ve chosen,the procedure is simple... EarlNightingale claimed that our earningswill always rise in direct ratio tothe following:a) The demand for what you do. It’s up to you to find this demand, or create it.b) How well you do it. This is where the enjoyment comes in. If you

don’t enjoy what you do, you’ll never put inenough practice time to become outstanding.c) How difficult it is to replace

you. The more valuable you make yourself in the eyes

of your direct customer, the more difficult itbecomes to replace you.

I’ve just given you a globalapproach for getting “on purpose.”But what do you do about stayingfocused on a daily basis? I use asystem I refer to as the 4 A’s ofAchievement. It’s a method I devised forkeeping me focused on the results Iwant from life. The system has helpedme to maintain perspective, and it’sled me to some outstandingachievements. I know it can do thesame for you.

The Four A’s of Achievement

Awareness: Know what you want -from life, from this day or even fromyour current task. Plan each leg ofyour journey “on purpose” and withdaily enjoyment in mind. This is so important! Specific

destinations give you a target to aimfor, or a direction in which totravel. They give you that all-important thing called focus. Havingfun while you’re at it increases thelikelihood that you’ll repeat thebehaviour.

Action: Get moving! Small achievablesteps, taken on a consistent basis,will get you where you want to go. Virtually any vision you can hold in

your mind can be accomplished intime. And as this is a life you’replanning, the only thing with thepower to actually stop you is deathitself. So, get moving!

Analysis: Keep your eyes open. Learnto recognize when you’re on courseand when you’re not.

The miles you rack up every day willonly get you to your next port ofcall if you’re travelling in theright direction. Look for signs.Write things down! Check up onyourself. Stay on course. Get “onpurpose.”

Adjustment: If you find a goodvehicle or a good road to travel,stick with it long enough to makesome progress in the direction ofyour goal(s). But please! If you takea wrong turn, never hesitate to makea course correction. All goodnavigators know that staying oncourse is primarily a matter of smalland continuous adjustments to keepfrom drifting off target. You should be prepared to modify

your behaviour as often as required.

That’s it. The uncomplicated butnever easy path to the good life...Consistent and purposeful action over a lifetime -with a vigilant eye on the results.

To recap: Figure out what you couldenjoy doing with the rest of yourlife, then put your focus onbehaviours with the potential to getyou living that way. Pay attention tothe results you get, makingadjustments when needed. Become aContrarian. Do what others areunwilling to do. Strive to findpositive and productive meaning ineach experience you have, rather thanthinking, feeling, talking and actingas you have in the past. Dare to bedifferent! If nothing else, you’llend up with a more useful set of

beliefs about what you’re capable ofand about how the world works.Personally, I think the ride’s goingto be more exciting than you couldever imagine. Have fun.

CHAPTER 2

SUCCESS HAS A POINT OF VIEW

I once walked into an electronicsstore with $10,000 in my pocket. Aclerk was standing behind thereceiving counter scribbling on apiece of paper. He glanced up at meand, without a word of greeting, wentback to what he was doing. Maybe Igot this reaction because I waswearing an old pair of jeans and a T-

shirt. Maybe it was because I wasyoung. Who knows? I didn’t stay inthe store long enough to find out.Instead, I went across the street toa competitor’s store. The clerk therewas happy to see me. He was evenhappier when I spent all that money.The one thing anyone can do to

immediately improve their life -whether it’s creating more enjoyment,increasing their earnings oreliminating worry - is to change theway they look at people and events.Change your point of view, the anglefrom which you look at the world, andyour experience will change. If yourexperience changes, your behaviourwill also tend to change. When yourbehaviour changes, so must theresults you get (It’s cyclical).The story I just related to you took

place in 1982, but things like thathappen just as often in today’sworld. For example, I walked into a small

office supply store last week,wearing a black jacket, a sweaterand a pair of jeans. I was alsocarrying a briefcase. This wasn’ttraditional business garb, nor was itthe typical look of a customer. Howwas I perceived? The store ownergreeted me somewhat hesitantly, andher eyes kept drifting down to thatfearsome briefcase of mine. (She washaving trouble getting past the ideathat the briefcase meant I was asalesperson.) I was in a Contrarianmood that day, so I decided toconfirm that I’d most definitely cometo sell her something.I’m kidding, right? Not in the

least. I know there are a lot ofsalespeople out there who’d think Iwas kidding, crazy or unbelievablystupid to try it. And believe me whenI say I do understand where they’recoming from. Consider the reaction Igot... When I told this business owner I

was there to sell her something, Icould see her filters slam down likeforce-fields in a science fictionmovie. She got downright nasty! Notonly was she unwilling to talk to me,she left me with a strong desire notto talk to her. That’s a poorsituation for two businesspeople tobe in, isn’t it? So, let me paint a different

picture... When this woman learned Iwas a salesman, she could have madethe conscious choice - the decision -

to see me as a potential customer.Instead of getting defensive, shecould have taken the Contrarianapproach and started using her salesskills to try and determine if I hadproblems her products could solve.What was I going to do, walk out? Iwas motivated to be there, and it washer store. Besides, I’m a buyer justlike every other person out there.Had she taken an interest, the ownerwould have discovered that Iappreciate it when someone offers mea solution I’m able to use. It makesno difference if I happen to be outselling my own products at the time.Solve a problem for me, and there’s agood chance I’ll buy.How many customers do you lose each

day because of the way you look atpeople who come through your door?

How many people do you shut out ofyour life because of the way youperceive or prejudge them? Do youhave signs up in your businessestablishment that say “NoSoliciting?” or “Our washrooms arefor customers only?” Are you goingthrough life viewing people aspotential friends or potentialthreats? If I come through your dooram I going receive a look of boredom,or are you going to be excited tosee me? What kind of meaning do youchoose to place on your dailyexperiences, and how’s this affectingyour lifestyle?Let me relate one of the strangest

experiences I’ve ever had. It hammershome this whole concept ofconsciously choosing your point ofview. I think you’ll find it

helpful... There was a time things were so hard

for me the only job I could get wasselling high-end vacuum cleaners.Don’t get me wrong - it was anexcellent job, and a great product.My problem was that I didn’t have anyrelated sales experience. As aresult, I spent weeks getting doorsslammed in my face and being thrownout of houses. People called meterrible names, threatened me withphysical harm and told me all sortsof incredible lies. It was a bewildering, horrible time,

but I also consider those experiencesamong the most useful I’ve had. Why?Well, out of the pain came two piecesof information which eventually ledme to one of the most importantdiscoveries of my sales career - the

power of Point of View.First: I learned people always

behave in a way that’s consistentwith how they see themselves and theworld. In my case, this meant the prospects

who were treating me so horribly weredoing so because it was the mosteffective way they knew fordiscouraging a type of person they’dgood reason to be suspicious of.After all, the sad truth is theaverage salesperson doesn’t have yourbest interests at heart. Look at myexperiences from that perspective, orpoint of view, and the unkindbehaviours exhibited by myprospective customers make a sad kindof sense.Once I understood that people

weren’t reacting to me but were

choosing behaviours based on themeaning they’d assigned to pastexperiences, my life began to turnaround. I put my focus on givingpeople the opportunity to choosedifferent behaviours, to respond tome instead of the ghosts of their badexperiences. I not only made a lot ofsales, I ended up as sales manager.Second: I learned the difference

between prejudging and perspective.Prejudice and perspective are

closely related. Prejudice has beendefined as a judgement or opinionformed beforehand or withoutthoughtful examination of thepertinent facts, issues or arguments;especially, an unfavourable,irrational opinion. Perspectiverefers to a particular way of lookingat something, of understanding its

relative importance. Your perspectivecan be prejudiced, and prejudice canbe, or form, your perspective.I feel it’s important to make this

last distinction because, while it’shuman to fall under a shadow as largeas prejudice, it’s criminal to staythere. That’s why I’ll never forgetthe following lesson regarding my ownprejudice. The experience taught methat Point of View makes all thedifference in the world. I hopetelling the story does the same foryou.I’d spent the better part of an

evening doing calls with one of mysalespeople. He’d been having aterrible time with call reluctance,and it turned out that he’d beenmaking up his mind, before the call,as to who would buy and who wouldn’t.

My solution to the problem had beento pick four appointments at random,then alternate presentations withhim. My salesman wasn’t successful on his

first call. There were no majorproblems with his work. The sale justwasn’t there. I reminded him no onecan sell to everyone but that, assalespeople, we must do our best toapply our solution to the problems ofeach person we call on. Theprofessional uncovers problems,offers solutions and encouragespeople to act in a way that’s intheir best interests. Those who havea problem we can solve effectively,and who see our offering in thatlight, will tend to buy. End ofstory.I did the next call and made a sale.

I confessed to my salesman that theperson didn’t seem to be an idealcustomer to me, but I’d learned Icouldn’t trust my judgement in thisarea. The only thing I could do wasgive the best presentation possibleand see where it led. My salesmansaid he understood, then he proved itby giving one of the most convincingsales talks I’d ever heard. The youngman didn’t make the sale, but I couldsee he’d grasped the concept. As itwas very late, and it was my turn todo a call, I decided to give the guya break. I congratulated him on hisgood work and sent him home.Here it comes... I pulled up in front of an old house

in one of the scariest parts of thecity. It was quarter of nine, myenthusiasm was fading as fast as the

light, and I wanted nothing more thanto go home. But I couldn’t do that,could I? Only a hypocrite of theworst kind would walk away from acall after saying the things I’d saidthat night. I got out of my car andknocked on the door. A big, lumbering giant of a man

answered. He listened as I introducedmyself, then disappeared wordlesslyinto the shadows. I didn’t know whatto expect. So, after a moment Ifollowed my training and moved intothe hallway. Off to my right I couldsee a room to boggle the mind. Trashand rubble were piled up against fourwalls. At one end of the room was anold barber’s chair. At the other endI could see the ghostly light of atelevision screen. There were miceplaying in the rubble.

After a few minutes, an old mantrudged down the hall. He was hookedup to a portable intravenous trolley,and I found myself too shocked to sayanything but hello. I’m sure heunderstood, because he smiled andmotioned for me to follow him into adining room worse than any scene Icould have imagined. Boxes of books were piled

everywhere, and under the tablerested a huge dog - the obvioussource of an inch of hair whichcovered the entire floor. The old man’s wife came out to join

us, and we got down to business.Yes, they were interested in seeing

my machine. It was why they’d agreedto the appointment. Both wereseriously ill, and their son (thegiant) wasn’t capable of doing

housework. What they wanted, theysaid, was a cleaning machine theycould use in their weakened state. What could I do? I took a deep

breath and launched into my salestalk.Things were okay until I asked for

some water for my demonstration. “Kitchen’s through there,” the lady

of the house said. Well, I couldn’t believe my eyes!

Not only were all the dishes in thehouse out on the counters and table,they were also dirty. The couple hadbeen cleaning things as they neededthem. I was disgusted, and I confessto rushing through all but the highpoints of what remained of mypresentation; it took me about fiveminutes. Sure, I said to myself, theyneed this machine more than anyone,

but they’re never going to use or buythe thing. Any fool could see that.Wrong! When I was done, and the old man had

seen with his own eyes that his wifecould use the vacuum with little orno difficulty, he went to a shelf,pulled down a coffee can and gave methe full price in cash.I can sit here today and say with

confidence that those people neverregretted their decision to buy. Yousee, I went back to check on them,and I found the transformationunbelievable. They were so excitedabout being able to clean the carpetand floors that they were motivatedto do more. The last time I saw them,their house was a comparably cleanand comfortable place to visit.This one experience allowed me to

understand that helping people findsolutions to their problems is agreat way of looking at life. I alsorealized that our prejudices oftenkeep us from doing so.Have you been prejudging people? How

have you been looking at yourself,the people in your life and the worldin which you live? What limitationsdo you regularly tend to place uponyourself and those around you? Moreto the point, what are you going todo to get out from under this shadow?

Getting Out From Under The Shadow

1. Choose your attitude for tomorrowwhen you go to bed tonight. Write thestatement on a piece of paper, placeit on the night stand and makereading it the first thing you do in

the morning. Don’t go about this half-heartedly!

Attitudes have a funny way ofchanging during the night, regardlessof our best intentions. Choose themost outstanding attitude you canthink of, write it down and stick toit in the morning. For example, I’ve heard it suggested

that any morning you wake up andyou’re not six feet under is amorning for which you should beeternally grateful. It’s a morningthat should bring tears of joy toyour eyes. Imagine starting your daylike this! And imagine what wouldhappen if you purposefully greetedeveryone you met with those samefeelings of joy and gratitude. Wow!You wouldn’t have to watch It’s aWonderful Life next Christmas to gain

some appreciation for yourself andyour life. You’d be there.

2. Become vigilant about recognizingthe less than outstanding behaviourswe call negative emotions. Thesenegative feelings are red flags thatindicate you’re about to head downthe garden path, that you need toassign a new meaning to whatever’seliciting the reaction. Choosinganger only makes you an angry person;it doesn’t solve anything.Feel angry? Put a smile on your

face, jump up and down, run around incircles and holler Wahoo! Do whateverit takes to shift to a more usefulpoint of view. Then figure out asolution to your problem. Laugh out loud when people say

you’ve got to be kidding, crazy or

unbelievably stupid to try somethingdifferent. You know better, don’tyou?Feel overwhelmed? Paste a crazy grin

on your face, make a paper airplane,load all your problems on it andshoot the thing out the nearestwindow. Have yourself a good chuckle.Revel in the looks of wonderment thathave appeared on the faces of yourco-workers. Then get back to the taskat hand. You might even find you’rehaving fun.

3. Prepare some useful ways oflooking at your experiences - inadvance. When you run into adifficult situation, or you’re notresponding well to something, selectone of these alternate points of viewand focus your thoughts on it.

Remember I mentioned that peoplealways behave consistently with howthey see themselves and the world?Well, I’m suggesting you giveyourself a vision of the world youcan look up to, that has the capacityto excite you and that may just makeyour life a more enjoyable one. Thinkreally hard about this. The way peoplebehave reveals what they think about the world.What a tremendous reminder to cultivate an out-of-the-ordinary point of view. How can you use the techniques I’ve

mentioned in a practical way? Here’s one example... I’ve walked

into a store, had the owner take onelook at me (it was that peskybriefcase again) and say “What,you’ve come to waste my time?” If I’dtaken a comment like that personally,I’d never have gotten anywhere. This

person didn’t have any informationabout me. None. She had to have beenresponding to a mental image of allthe bad things she’d experienced inthe past at the hands of peoplecarrying briefcases. My understanding,the meaning I assigned to her actions, remindedme to show some compassion and helped me tosee her as a person. It’s the only reasonwe were able to have a conversation.Chalk one up for the Contrarian pointof view!Here’s another example... You’ve

heard of mental imaging, right?Athletes use the technique a lot,because it’s been proven thatvisualizing the successful completionof an event (before and after you doit) improves performance. Well,rehearsing an attitude has the sameeffect. If I picture myself enjoying

something, creating the intention inmy mind, putting that mysteriouslittle man in my head to work on theproblem (pick up a copy of my book,How To Get What You Want From Life), then Iimprove the odds that the experiencewill be something I enjoy.Don’t be driftwood! The currents and

eddies of life are always going topull at you. Unless you consciouslyand intelligently decide what thingsare going to mean to you, and behaveaccordingly, you’re going to findyourself struggling just to stayalive on this river of life.You might think the suggestion made

in this last analogy is just anotherform of prejudging. But is it? Bychoosing your point of view onpurpose, and with forethought, you’reallowing yourself the opportunity to

think carefully, calmly and clearlyabout the most important thing youhave: Your life. I don’t believe thisfits the definition of prejudice atall.What am I trying to accomplish with

the river analogy? The sheermagnitude of building a greatlifestyle can seem overwhelming. Theattractive solution is often to justgo with the flow, to lay back, keepthe blinders on and let the rivertake you where it will. A choice likethis invariably produces anunsettling result; going with theflow, letting the currents of lifetake you where they will, is adecision that almost always ends upin the same place; it’s a trip down ariver that just happens to be themain tributary flowing into the ocean

of human mediocrity. Is this thedestination you really want? No? Thenbegin to change your point of view.Learn to look at life differently.

4. Make a list of things you can seeyourself being passionate about. Forme, these are things like reading agood story, writing, public speaking,playing with my children, cooking aspecial meal for friends or lookingfor beauty in nature and in art. Whatever you come up with, make sure

you build some of these exciting andenjoyable experiences into each day.Then, over the course of time,identify more such experiences andadd them to your daily routine. Do this one experience at a time,

remembering to consciously focus onthe good feelings you’re trying to

create. Forget about the unpleasantexperience you had 30 seconds agoand, instead, decide to actpassionately! Let your hair down,flick that switch and blaze on into alifestyle as brilliant as others arepale. Achieving a passionate lifestyle is

that simple. You can experience anyemotion you want just by decidingthat the situation at hand demandssuch a feeling.Let me show you what I mean...

Someone dies, and two people close tothat person experience exactly theopposite emotions; after the initialshock of the news has passed, onefeels pain and one feels pleasure.Why? One focuses on all he’s lostwhile the other focuses on all she’sgained. The first is an American

who’s been taught death means you’vesuffered a great loss, that you’re tofeel pain, that you’re to mourn, thatyou’re to immerse yourself in thegreat tragedy which has befallen you.The second person is of Irish descentand was taught by her parents andgrandparents to see death as meaningthat someone has gone on to a greaterglory, that we should be glad for thedeparted soul, that we should rejoicefor having had the good fortune ofknowing him, that this is a time forcelebrating the gifts he’s given us.One person is devastated, the otheruplifted.Tell me, which point of view seems

the most appealing to you? Whichpoint of view enriches yourexistence? And, finally, which ofthese approaches to life is the one

chosen by most people? Becoming aContrarian gets easier and easier,doesn’t it?

Put your focus on what’s truly important to you.If you don’t want to feel bad aboutdeath and dying, then choose ameaning for death that leaves youwith better feelings! If you want tosell more product, and feel betterwhile doing it, then choose to putyour customer’s interests ahead ofyour own. (I’m not kidding! You’llfeel better, your businessrelationships will take on newmeaning, and it’s been my experiencethat you’ll make more sales.) When youpurposely choose your response to each importantexperience, you become the originator and rulerof your behaviour.If you want enjoyment, allow the

things you experience to give you

joy. If you want more sales, chooseto see the customers you talk with aspeople instead of prospective sales.If you want to pursue your dreams,then let yourself see opportunity inyour daily experiences. It’s all in the wayyou look at things, isn’t it?

So, let’s stop here for awhile.Practice the four steps I’ve givenyou today, and keep up with theContrarian approach to living. But,more than anything else, give somethought to how your ideal day mightunfold, then choose to behave in waysthat will make it happen! Start goingthrough each day on purpose, oneminute and one experience at a time.I’m sure I’ll see you up ahead wherethe traffic is a little lighter.

CHAPTER 3

FOCUS GIVES YOU LEVERAGE

It’s a slap in the face Augustmorning. The kind that wakes you upin a hurry. Cold air, punching wind,constantly blurring eyes. Your handsso cold you find yourself wonderingif you woke up in the wrong month.

There’s been no rain, but you’d neverguess this from the surroundings.Great gobs of dew bend grasses low tothe ground, and water flows in riversfrom tree branches to the back ofyour neck. Out on the lake wisps ofsteam rise up to form fog dancers,ghostly, silent, moving rhythmicallyto the beat of wind-thumped wavescrashing against the shore.An hour of walking along the

northern cleft of the river, followedby a long climb through the highfields, has left me standing foot-wetand winded, so I pause for a momentto enjoy the fog and the wind and thewaves. I’m anxious though, and as mybreath returns, I find myself lookingfor the building I know is huddledamidst the trees.There it is! The clouds have broken

momentarily, and the sunbeams ripplelightly across the semi-exposedwalls, turning logs a golden ochre,the windows bright, silver andmysteriously opaque. Looking at itthus, strangely coloured by the sunwhen all else is grey, I see thecabin as if I’d come upon it for thefirst time. All the varied pleasures that go

hand in hand with the place swell upand leave me feeling as if this iswhere I’m supposed to be. Thetiredness and the cold melt away.There’s a renewed spring to my step.Determination courses through myveins. I’m recharged, motivated andready for anything.And it’s nothing but a dream! Can

you believe it? A collection ofthoughts somehow has the emotional

power to get me moving and keep memoving. These thoughts of what Imight someday achieve work togetherto form a giant hand which pushes meinexorably forward. You need a dream like this. Why?

Plain and simply put, you’ll endureanything if you believe it willprovide greater benefits for you inthe long run. You see, even if you work toward a

life that’s fun, that’s jam-packedwith experiences you enjoy, you’restill going to have some unpleasantexperiences. Building joyful momentsinto your daily routine will allowyou to counter some of these lesspleasing events. A motivating dreamwill also help. Think about it...You act for only

two reasons: To avoid pain and to

gain pleasure. This seems to be afundamental survival trait, one soinstinctive I suspect it’s hard-wiredright into our nervous system, aprimitive force regulating thechoices people make.What does the pain/pleasure

principle mean in everyday terms? Ifpain and pleasure govern yourbehaviour patterns, then everythingyou do must come down to one simplechoice. This one choice, repeatedminute after minute all the days ofyour life, can be illustrated with asimple question: Do I move toward thisexperience or away from it? How can you conclude otherwise?

Everything you do can be reduced to achoice between embracing or avoidingreal and imagined experiences, and ithas to happen like this because of

the way we’re built. We have thatinstinctive need I mentioned - thatsurvival trait - which moves us awayfrom pain or danger and towardpleasure or safety. Sure, it’s quitepossible for us to engage in painfulor dangerous behaviours, but only ifwe’ve managed to somehow convinceourselves that these behaviours willlead to less pain or more pleasure inthe long run. We can talk ourselvesinto doing anything if we can seesomething rewarding in it. And thereyou have all the justification you’llever need for taking the time to getclear on what you want and why youwant it; there’s the reason forhaving a motivating dream like theone I shared with you.

We can get ourselves to do anything -

provided we can envision the reward.

Anyone who’s ever done theunbelievable or the seeminglyimpossible - Roger Bannister breakingthe four minute mile; Henry Fordproducing an affordable car for themasses; Orville and Wilbur Wrightdesigning and flying an airplane; thefirst person actually creating afunctioning silence engine, amechanism that can effect silence byproducing a wave exactly opposite toan incoming sound; the pioneerastronaut leaving Earth’s atmosphereen route to another rock in the sky;a solitary man writing his proof thate=mc2 - has done so because thepursuit brought them pleasure or tookaway pain. No one ever does anythingunless they’ve first seen how those

actions will benefit them in terms ofpain and pleasure. I challenge you tofind any behaviour this model can’texplain.Further to the above principle, it’s

my belief that the pleasure ofstriving toward any dream must, inthe mind of the pursuer, outweigh thepain experienced in achieving it. Thedesire to avoid pain is actuallysubordinate to the desire to achievepleasure. Today’s hardship is madebearable by the prospect oftomorrow’s pleasure. Even a reward asbleak as the relief one imagines willcome at the cessation of torture canbe enough to drive us onward. Anypain may be endured (at leasttemporarily). All that’s involved ischoosing to put your focus somewhereelse, to envision the greater

pleasure or the lesser pain whichwill be your reward.Consider that focusing on humour has

been proven to reduce pain and speedthe healing process. Think, feel,talk and act as if you want to dosomething, instead of seizing upbecause you’ve focused on the pain offailure and, behold, the thing isdone. The examples are endless. You canturn virtually any painful situationinto a pleasurable one just bychanging the meaning of thatsituation. It’s all a matter offocus. Unbelievable? Not really. Just as

caviar can become an acquired taste,enjoyed and savoured even though spatout in disgust when first tried, sothe long hours and sacrifice ofdream-chasing may become something we

relish. I’m not kidding! History hasshown that any experience can beembraced and made pleasurable. Howelse do you explain the Kamikazepilots of World War II, or thesuicide bombers of the Gaza and Iraq,or any other person who makes awilling choice to die?

Whether you move away from or toward anexperience depends on what you define aspainful and what you define as pleasurable.Whithersoever your focus goes - so shall you.

A person who thinks of his or herlife as an unbearable collection ofproblems and painful experiences willinstinctively move away from thatlife. How can it be any other way? Byfocusing their thoughts on all thepain they have or are going to

experience, they’ve triggered asurvival mechanism. Behaviour becomesinstinctive, habitual or automatic.They’ll actually revert to whateverresponses have been ingrained by pastexperience - no conscious thoughtrequired. Some will eliminate thesource of their pain by digging inand solving this particular set ofproblems, once and for all. Manyothers will go just far enough tofind an acceptable balance betweenpain and pleasure, settling for thatoften referred to “life of quietdesperation,” an unhappy andunfulfilling existence of not-pleasure and not-pain. A tragic fewwill retreat into hopelessness,depression or madness. The dangerousones will use aggression to gaindistance between themselves and their

predicaments. And let’s not forgetthose who look for answers at thebottom of a bottle or in the contentsof a needle. Each and every one ofthese people will, they must, getwhat they focus on. It’s afundamental human law: We become whatwe think about.Consider the “bottom of a bottle”

example, if you would. This is apainful topic, a problem most peoplemove away from discussing, but it’s aperfect example of how easy it is tobecome what we think about (in anegative sense). People often usealcohol, tobacco and other drugs todistance themselves from the pain oftheir lives and to try and find apleasurable harbour in which they cantie up for a while. It’s an easy andseemingly preferable alternative to

redesigning their lives. Theimmediate reduction of pain and theinstant increase in their level ofpleasure is so intense it allows themto knowingly engage in behaviourswith the potential to cause them morepain in the long run and, ifcontinued, even result in theirdeath.Obviously I’m referring to people

who use alcohol (or other drugs) on aconsistent basis. These are peoplewho tend to focus on the short termrather than the long term. They optfor the quick fix, rather than theslow one. And by the time the overallconsequences of their actions becomeapparent - in terms of the pain whichmust come as a result of theavoidance of their problems, in termsof the pain they’ll experience if

they give up their crutch and interms of the pain of having torebuild their lives - the leastpainful choice and, maybe even themost pleasurable one, can appear tobe the continuation of their self-destructive lifestyle. Theimplications inherent in this kind ofbehaviour are terrible. People can,and do, reach a point where the onlychoice they believe they can make isto move toward death. They’ll even doit consciously, willingly and with asense of relief.Tragic. Stupid. And unnecessary. The person who thinks of his or her

life as an exciting series ofinteresting and challengingexperiences must move toward thatkind of experience just as surely asthe addict must move toward oblivion.

It’s instinctive, remember? Youalways move toward the things youbelieve will be most pleasurable inthe long run. All each of us has todo is to make some fundamentaldecisions like choosing to findsimple things to enjoy in ourrelationship with our spouse, in ourwork and in our leisure time. We needto make some choices to get us movingtoward life, rather than away fromit. Our machine will do the rest.Hard to accept? Maybe, but our

machine really does work like this.The movement toward pleasure and awayfrom pain so pervades our lives thatmost of the time we aren’t even awareof what’s going on. How many timeshave you conveniently forgotten itwas your turn to put out the garbage?And how often have thoughts of your

favourite pastime appeared unbiddenin your mind? Redefine what you find painful and

pleasurable about the things you needto be doing in order to achieve yourgoals. Strive to reach a state wherethe pursuits that come unbidden toyour mind are enjoyable and goal-oriented. Create intention. Imagine yourself

pursuing and attaining certain endstates: Health, wealth and happiness.Work to recognize and eliminatebehaviours that counter these goals.Enlist your inner self - the littleman, the machine, the god inside you- in a campaign to create thelifestyle you want.I became a writer only when I

stopped looking at writing as beingpainful, when I cultivated the

ability to sit at my computer in astate of motivated bliss, the wordsrolling out onto the screen as fastas I could type.A successful relationship consists

of two people who have learned to seeeach other as sources of pleasure andeliminators of pain. Even my ownrelationships succeed only to theextent that I manage to remember andpractice that truth.Great customer service originates

with those people who experiencegenuine pleasure when they help otherpeople solve problems. You can’tcreate that kind of attitude inbusiness unless you work at it,unless you have that intention.I don’t care if you want to learn

how to fly, get out of debt, bringmore customers into your store, start

and run a successful business orbecome a millionaire, guitar-playing,heart surgeon, the pathway to successwill always, without exception,involve taking your focus off whatyou fear and putting it on what youenjoy. You must have the intentionbefore you can get the result. It’sthe key to action!Success comes to those who can get

themselves moving in the direction oftheir goals on a consistent basis.This way, that way, the easy way, thehard way: It doesn’t matter how youdo it. What matters is finding a wayto enjoy what needs to be done.

See it! Envision yourself as you wish to be.Ask your machine to make this dream happen.Work hard to eliminate thoughts, behavioursand actions that impede your goal. Have fun.How much simpler can I make this?

You can go after whatever it is youwant - realistic, unrealistic orimpossible. All that matters isenvisioning yourself in pleasurablepursuit of this goal whilerecognizing the painful resultsyou’ll experience should you fail toact. Your wonderful machine, thisbody and mind of yours, willautomatically do everything else foryou. I believe this phenomenon propagates

the phrase “Ask and ye shallreceive.” It’s the power of the self-fulfilling prophecy. I know thispower exists, and that it can changeyour life.What are you waiting for? Drop what

you’re doing, and write down everythought, emotion, word and action youcan think of to make it easier for

you to move in the direction of yourmost important goal. Allow yourselfto think these thoughts, to envisionyourself feeling these emotions, thenactually go ahead and begin actingout some of these behaviours.Practice, rehearse and refine. Getused to making those minute-to-minutechoices which will bring you thesuccess you deserve! Try it. The specifics aren’t

important, remember? Anything you cando to make the pursuit of the goalsyou’ve envisioned more pleasurableand less painful can only work toyour benefit. I’ll prove this to you. I once used

an off-the-wall approach to help aseminar participant change the wayshe looked at the tedious chore ofdoing dishes. It’s a terrific example

of what I’m talking about...

“I really hate doing the dishes,”she said.“Understandable... Can you tell me

what you do enjoy? What’s yourfavourite pastime?”“That’s easy: It’s kayaking.”“Great! Instead of doing the dishes,

from now on you’re going kayaking.”(Lot’s of laughter and looks of

disbelief from the rest of theaudience.)“What do you enjoy about kayaking?”“The exercise. I really enjoy that!”“Okay. Next time you have to do the

dishes, start with your normalkayaking warm up. While you’re at it,imagine yourself working up a realsweat scrubbing away at those dishes.Get into it. Feel the energy. Swish

those plates through the white-water,put your back into the movements, geta rhythm going and maybe even breakinto a song. Think about thedishwashing experience in terms ofkayaking, substituting one set ofimages for the other. Then, when youactually lay into those dishes, actlike you’re going kayaking. By God,you’ll be kayaking! I’ll also guaranteeyou’ll feel a lot better about doingthose dishes.”She’s shaking her head in agreement,

but I can see she doesn’t reallybelieve it.“What else do you enjoy about

kayaking?” I ask.“The solitude.”“Have you ever noticed how people

disappear when it’s time to do thedishes? Lots of solitude there.”

She’s smiling now. And why shouldn’tshe? This woman has suddenly freed upa block of daily time for solitude -something she enjoys - and shedoesn’t even need to take the kayakout of the garage.“Anything else come to mind when you

think about kayaking?”“I love the sunlight.”“Are you married?”She’s surprised by the question.“No.”“Too bad, I was going to suggest you

only take your turn doing the disheson sunny days.”She cracks up.“Do you have a window in front of

your sink?”“Yes.”“Well, you might want to schedule

dishwashing for when the sun is out.

A good time would be in the morning.There’s nothing in the world likesunlight in the morning. It’s got aspecial feel, doesn’t it? And justthink, you’ll be getting your mostdifficult chore out of the way whileexperiencing something you enjoy.That has to leave you energized forthe rest of the day! Oh, and one morething... It probably wouldn’t hurt toswitch to Sunlight dish soap.”(We end the session with a laugh.)

What did I accomplish with mycustomer in that last example? I hadthe woman change her focus. She usedkayaking behaviours as a shortcut tofulfill the intention of enjoyingwashing dishes. And who says we can’t apply

behaviours we already know to a

different task? When I look at lifeas a game, or a dance or a box ofchocolates, am I not tapping into aset of behaviours I already know willhelp me to deal more effectively withlife? Won’t these metaphors increasemy pleasure and reduce my pain? Youbet - as long as I enjoy games anddancing and chocolates.So, you can change your focus by

creating and rehearsing a set ofbehaviours you want to use in aparticular situation, through theprocess of asking and answeringquestions, or you can adoptbehaviours you’ve already usedsuccessfully elsewhere. It’s not whatyou do that’s important here, it’sthe end result. You’re after a shiftin focus, a redefinition of what’spainful and pleasurable about the

experiences you’re contemplating. You can also lean toward the

mystical, asking that source withinto provide. Be sure to support thisrequest by being ever alert forthoughts and behaviours and actionsthat counter your goals. Any newaction habit will meet resistance atthe hands of the old. Change takestime and perseverance.If the woman in my example is

willing to practice using her kayakingbehaviours for doing dishes, you canbe sure she’ll stop avoiding thosedishes and will end up with one morething she can enjoy in life. On a similar note, the person who

insists on thinking of life as a seriesof games will begin to approach lifeon that basis. If you like aparticular game, you’ll move toward

it. If you dislike the game, you’llmove away. Personally, I find games exciting

and enjoyable. Each has its ownchallenge, and I love the process ofovercoming that challenge. It doesn’tseem to matter to me how a game goes:Win or lose, I manage to have fun.So, of course, you won’t be surprisedwhen I tell you I’ve experimentedwith the metaphor of life as a game.Role playing takes the pressure offwhen I’m writing or selling or beinga father, allowing me to makemistakes without stealing away anounce of enjoyment. Pictionary isgreat for getting ideas across inseminar situations. The game keeps mefrom taking myself too seriously, andI don’t get upset or frustrated whenI fail to get through to a particular

audience. Then there’s problemsolving. Approaching problems asgames has eliminated so manyfrustrations and worries I feel likea new person. Such is the power offocus.

The Power of Focus

1. Develop a clear image of what youwant and why you want it. Everythingyou do comes down to a simple choice:Do I move away from this experience,or do I move toward it? If you don’thave a clear understanding ofwhatever you’re working toward, thenmaking consistently good choices on aminute-to-minute basis becomesimpossible. Besides, when you construct clear

mental images of the thoughts,

behaviours and results you want topursue, I believe you’re sending amessage to the creator we all havewithin us. It will respond!Take note: Not every decision you

make has to be a good one in orderfor you to improve the quality ofyour life. What you need isconsistency, to make more gooddecisions than bad ones.

2. Get some leverage. If you knowwhat you want, and you’ve got a listof powerful reasons (the pleasureyou’ll get and the pain you’ll avoid)for doing whatever it takes toachieve that goal, then you’llachieve it. You’ll create intention.You’ll get your creative machineworking on pleasurable resultsinstead of painful ones. Action will

follow.Why don’t you get started? Make the

list. These pains and pleasures, thethings you want to avoid and the onesyou want to pursue, they’ve got to beyour own reasons for action. They justwon’t work if they’re mine.

CHAPTER 4

WHY SELLING IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE

How do you get your child or motheror husband or sibling to behave in acertain way? What’s involved inconvincing an employer, employee orcustomer to do what you want them todo? Is there a set way to get yourproduct or service into the hands ofanother person? Can you think of aphrase which describes the process ofcausing the acceptance or approval ofsomething? All of the preceding questions can

be answered with two simple words:You sell. While selling is usually considered

within the context of business, itreally isn’t confined to that aspectof our lives. In business, we useselling as a technical term todescribe the process of influencing

someone’s behaviour throughcommunication. This has led manypeople to view selling as a set ofmanipulative techniques they don’twant to embrace. You may want torefrain from making the sameassumption. Let me give you an example of what I

mean...A friend stops by and drops like a

stone onto your sofa.“I’m wiped,” is his articulate

summation of how he feels.“I’ve just made some coffee,” you

reply. “Fresh ground. Strong. Itshould bring you back to life. Wantsome?”“Bring it on!”The sale is made. You had a solution to a problem your

friend told you about, you offered it

to him in an influential way and heaccepted. That’s selling. Would you have evoked the same

response had you merely said“Coffee’s on.” Possibly. But the oddswouldn’t have been as good. Why?Effective selling involves certainspecific steps, a system, aconsistent and purposeful approachwith a specific result in mind. Thefirst response I mentionedillustrated this system; the secondresponse didn’t. What I’m leading up to is this:

Selling isn’t something you do to someone, it’s aset of tools you can use to help people solveproblems. The fact that thesetechniques can be used to earn moneydoesn’t make them less valid in yourday-to-day life. Also, if you’regoing to use selling techniques in

your life (and believe me, you are),you might as well do so on purposeand with expertise. It’s one of thoseContrarian decisions I’ve beenpromoting.

How to Sell:

1. Get some background, anunderstanding of the situation. Your friend in the previous example

offered a lot of information. Hisactions clearly demonstrated he wasrunning low on energy, and he toldyou he was feeling “wiped.” A fewsimple questions could have clarifiedthings even more. You might haveasked something like “What’shappened?” or “What’s the story?” Butany question he couldn't answer withyes or no (that got him talking abouthis circumstances) would have done

just as well.Why pursue the subject? Well, one

way to add value to any relationship(personal or professional) is to showinterest in the other person.Specifically? Enquire about theirtriumphs and tribulations. Ask aboutthe pleasures they’ve been chasingand the pain they’ve been dodging.You’ll get background, anunderstanding of the situation andyou’ll grow the relationship.Perfect!

2. Clearly define any problemsyou’ve discovered.When I say “problem,” I’m referring

to any difficulty a person is havingin achieving the pleasures theydesire or any difficulty they’reexperiencing in getting away from

whatever pain is in their lives. Inthe situation involving your friend,you didn’t need to ask what causedhis state. Clearly, some experiencedrained his energy reserves. Theproblem was even defined for you: Hewas wiped.Life usually isn’t so forthcoming,

nor are people. Whenever somethingdoesn’t seem clear, or the personsuggests the existence of anotherproblem, I simply clarify with morequestions. How would you respond to a friend or

acquaintance who asked you somethinglike “That’s a tough challenge...What are you going to have to do inorder to deal with it, and whatresources are you going to need?” Doyou think you’d talk if someone said“I’m always fascinated by the stories

people tell me about their struggletoward success... What’s yours? Whathave you been trying to achieve withyour life?” As for the earlierexample involving your friend, whatwould have happened if you’d furtherclarified the problem by asking aquestion like “Are they working youtoo hard on the job, or is somethingelse bothering you?” It doesn’t really matter what you

ask, does it? The key here is tobuild on the interest you’ve shownand to clarify what you’ve beenlearning by asking questions that getthe other person talking. The goal isto gather information to help you inyour efforts to assist this person ina valuable way. You’re looking for aclear and concise statement of theproblem affecting them.

Believe it or not, the more interestyou show, the better the person willfeel about you. For this reason alone- even if nothing else comes of yourefforts - the process is worthwhile.

3. Explore the implications (painfulaspects) of the problems you’vediscovered.When your friend plummeted to your

couch, he demonstrated the need forsome rest (moving toward pleasure).The vocalization of his feelings alsodemonstrated his desire to move awayfrom the state he was in (pain). Agood salesperson would have taken amoment or two to make sure the friendunderstood the implications ofcontinuing on through the dayhampered by the pain of fatigue andthe absence of a sense of physical

well-being. Even a simple questionlike “You’re not going to have anenjoyable afternoon at this rate, areyou?” would have been adequate.Focusing a person’s attention on the

implications of a problem is thefirst step in motivating them to dosomething about it. It intensifiesthe pain they’re feeling andincreases their need to escape thatpain. This works the same way if theproblem is one of lack. If you’veincreased your friend’s awareness ofhow much pleasure he’s going to missout on should he fail to replenishhis energy levels, you’re actuallyincreasing his pain, aren’t you?Caution: Clarifying the implications

of a problem obligates you to helpthat person. You’ve purposefully donesomething to make them feel worse. I

believe it’s unethical and immoral toleave them this way.

4. Offer your solution.First, let’s take a look at where we

are with the example we’ve beenusing... Your friend has alreadyrecognized the need for a differentset of actions. (This must be thecase. If he didn’t see the need forsome sort of energy boost, hewouldn’t be trying to solve hisproblem by resting on your couch.)You’ve also used questions to focushis attention on the implications ofnot getting the boost he needs. Thepurpose of this was to help him movecloser to the point where he’ll bewilling to take further action. Now, let’s put it all together...“I’m wiped,” your friend remarks.

You look at him and shake your head.“You’re not going to have an

enjoyable afternoon at this rate, areyou?”He snorts and nods in agreement.“I’d say you need something to bring

you back to life, wouldn’t you?”“You’ve got that right!” he says.“I’ve just made a pot of coffee.

Fresh ground. Strong. It should dothe trick. Want some?”Is your friend going to say yes? Of

course he is! After all, isn’t a cupof strong, freshly ground coffee,brewed for the specific purpose ofbringing him back to life the answerto the predominant question in hismind? Isn’t he thinking about how heneeds to do something to get his feetback under him? Haven’t you providedhim with a ready-made answer at the

most appropriate time? Yes, yes andyes.

This selling technique works! Now,obviously, the example we’ve beendiscussing is rudimentary, even a bitsilly, but we run into similarsituations every day. What you needto understand here is that yourfriend had a simple problem to whichyou had a simple solution; the salewas already made, so to speak. Evenso, a blunt statement like “Coffee’son,” assumes way too much. How canyou expect anyone hearing such aphrase to arrive at the conclusionthat you recognize they have aproblem, that you understand theimplications of the problem and thatyou’re offering a solution based onthose things? That’s not going to

happen, is it? The choice representsa sloppy way to get what you want,and it’s a poor way to help a friend.There’s no doubt about it, shoddy

salesmanship is a disservice toanyone you’re trying to help. Andsince nearly everything you doinvolves selling, I believe it’s yourduty to become an expert salesperson.Besides, not only will it improve thequality of life of those fortunateenough to know you, the choice willenhance the quality of your own life.

Top notch selling means top notch living.

Consider yet another unique exampleof selling in everyday life - theinstitute of marriage. The courtingritual is the sales process, thelovers play the multiple roles of

salesperson, product and customer,and the ensuing marriage will be thefollow-up or obligation. This example may seem somewhat

complicated, but it should help youtake ownership of the idea thateverything you do involves selling.Courting allows two people to

discover they can protect each otherfrom much of the pain of life whilealso increasing their combined levelsof pleasure. It’s a displaying ofwares, so to speak. Months are spenton the process of discovering whateach likes and dislikes. The loverswill experiment with differentapproaches until they come up withways of solving these sets ofproblems they've discovered. They’relaying the groundwork for the sale they hope tomake. If the prospect of continuing

this joint effort is appealing enoughto both of them, they’ll enter into acontract wholeheartedly; they’ll getmarried. The sale will be successful!The entire idea of marriage is that

it’s a place two people can go toreceive pleasure and escape pain.Knowingly or unknowingly, each hasentered into a contract to be both aprovider of pleasure and a guardagainst pain. Each person is a“product” the other has tested duringthe courting process, and they expectto get a lot more of what they’vebeen sampling after the marriagetakes place. They expect a goodfollow-up.Problem: I believe failed marriages

represent concrete proof of the priceindividuals pay for not understandingan important aspect of selling. A sale

is an obligation. When you court someone,you’re selling yourself to them.You’re saying “I recognize theproblems you face in life and thepain implicit in facing thoseproblems alone.” You’re actuallytossing out the question, albeitunspoken, “Won’t our lives be muchmore enjoyable if we face thesethings together?” You’re offeringyourself as a way or means to a morepleasurable life, and during the heatof romance it’s easy to believethat’s how it will be - for both ofyou.But how many salespeople do you know

who follow through on the sale? Howmany products actually live up to thehype? How many marriages become theplaces of pleasure and the harboursfrom pain their participants expected

them to be? Not nearly enough.I’d have you come to the

understanding that every time you tryto get someone to agree with you, toact in a way of your choosing, to buya product, service or idea from you,something complex is going on. No onedoes anything unless they want orchoose to. This means they mustalways see something pleasurable inthe choice they’re about to make, orthey must see it as a way to escapepain. Sometimes the choice may eveninvolve a combination of motivators.You should always make the effort to understandwhat a person expects to get from the course ofaction you’re suggesting. Think this through! When a person

takes action because you’ve suggestedit’s a good choice, he or she’sexpecting to achieve some kind of

result. Have you considered theprobability that the results you’reafter are probably much differentthan the results expected by thisother person? What are your expectations?Are they compatible with those of theperson you’re trying to influence? Isthis really a win-win situation? Inother words, are your motivations inthe best interests of both partiesinvolved? Or, to put it more bluntly,are your motivations honorable?I ask these last questions for a

good reason. The average salesperson,professional or otherwise, tends tofocus on what he or she’s going toget out of the sale. The customer’sexpectations tend to reside in thethoughts of these people for about aslong as it takes the customer to walkout the door. What a grievous error

to make! The customer won’t forgetwhat you promised - and failed - todeliver. I’ll let you in on another secret: Yourwife or husband won’t forget what you promisedto provide them either.There’s no doubt about it, if you’re

not aware of how selling (orinfluencing) works and of how it’sinextricably intertwined in thefibres of your life, you’re going torun into problems. In our firstexample of the day, had the wondrouscup of coffee you sold to your friendfailed to give him the boost heneeded, all you would have done wasrun the risk of disappointing him.Fail to understand the implicationsof the sale you’ve made when you getmarried, and you may ruin someone’slife. It might even be your own!I’d never say that people

purposefully fail to live up to theirobligations when selling. I thinkpeople are better than that. What Ido believe to be true is a largesegment of the world just doesn’tunderstand the implications inherentin their daily behaviours. Convince your young child to do

something - clean up her room, getready for school, whatever - andyou’re influencing her actions. Isshe doing what you ask out of fear ofpunishment, or is she hoping to berewarded with your favour, or is shesimply trying to do the right thing?Your expectations are clear in yourmind: What are her expectations? Whatis it you’ve done to cause her toaccept your request? Are you aware ofwhat she’s expecting in return? Doyou understand your obligation? Does

she? When I sell you a car or a piece of

clothing or this handbook, I’m makingyou a promise you’ll get enoughprofit or pleasure from your purchaseto compensate you for the paininherent in the acquisition (in termsof money spent, effort expended,hardship endured, etc.). I’ve takenon an obligation that goes far beyondthe completion of the sale, anobligation I’ll ignore only atconsiderable risk to my overallsuccess.

Understand selling:

1. Selling is easy. You do it everyday.

2. Selling consists of recognizing

an individual’s pain or lack ofpleasure, then showing him a way toalleviate that pain and/or producemore pleasure (usually with theunderstanding that your effort willbe rewarded in some way).

3. When you choose to sell, you’retaking on an obligation to make surethis person’s expectations arefulfilled.

People do things for two reasons -to avoid pain or to gain pleasure. Itfollows that the only way they’llallow their actions to be influencedby you is if you’ve shown them a wayto get something pleasurable or toget away from something painful. Youshouldn’t be surprised to find outthat the quality of both your lives

will suffer if these expectationsaren’t fulfilled.Take my word on this: It’s in your

best interests to make sure you liveup to the unstated promises you makewhen selling. Customers vote withtheir money, friends vote with theirtime and lovers vote with theiraffection. An oversimplificationperhaps, but I’m sure you get thepoint.

1. If you want someone to dosomething, explain exactly what theycan expect in return. Drag out thatpain. Hold up that pleasure. Show howyou can help them to achieve or avoidthese respective states. Ensure thatwhat you’re offering and what theyexpect to get are identical.

2. Let the person know what youexpect to get out of the choiceyou’re suggesting. Most people don’tbelieve in altruism. Even if theydon’t ask, they’re going to bewondering what’s in it for you.

3. If this person won't get equalvalue in return for the price you'reasking (the benefits you expect),don’t ask. Complete the taskyourself, or let the idea die on thevine.Remember the wise advice of so many

master salespeople: Selling has gotto be a win-win situation. This canonly happen when the expectations ofboth parties are fulfilled. I’llrepeat it again. You know what youexpect to get from the sale; take thetime to find out what the other person

expects to get. Meet or exceed theirexpectations, and you’ve got themakings of a successful relationship.Fail to meet their expectations, andall you’ll get is anger andresentment.

Don’t shrug this message off! Youcan improve the quality of your lifeby increasing the value you provideto others on a minute-to-minutebasis. This can be done simply andeasily by starting to recognize thoseunexpressed promises you make eachtime you influence a person and bydoing your best to keep thosepromises. I’d even go one step further...

Begin making promises, on purpose.Live up to those promises, onpurpose. And reap the harvest of your

efforts, on purpose. Become the kindof salesperson you ought to be: Onlymake promises you intend to keep,then do everything in your power tohonour those obligations. It’s asimple thing that will make aremarkable difference in your life. Iguarantee it!A practical example: If you you’ve

convinced yourself to pursue certaingoals, make sure you’re clear on thepain you expect to escape and thepleasure you expect to create, thenfocus all your efforts on fulfillingthese expectations. Another example: What types of pain

and pleasure do you try to address ona daily basis in the lives of thoseclosest to you? What more can you do?Can you see how adding such valuablebehaviours can redefine every

relationship you have?Yet another example: How long has it

been since you called up a customerand asked them if their purchaselived up to all expectations? (Didyou know what those expectations werebefore you called?) What would happenif you followed up every sale likethis? I know the answer; Do you?Selling is easy. You do it every

day. But you can do it better. Makethe decision to be a bringer of pleasure and aremover of pain...1. Offer products, services and

ideas for the express purpose ofpleasure production and pain removal.Do it with all the enthusiasm you canmuster, then always follow through onyour obligation. It may take time,but everything else will fall intoplace.

2. Influence people only when theystand to profit as much or more thanyou. Show them the pain they’llescape and the pleasure they’ll getwhen travelling aboard your ideatrain. 3. Never forget to follow through.

Make yourself responsible! Get thepassengers who decide to ride on youridea train to the destinations youpromised them.

Learn to sell “on purpose.” You’ll never be out ofdemand, and you’ll always be in style.

CHAPTER 5

TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE WITH QUESTIONS

Do you want to spend the rest of yourlife figuring out how to get thethings you desire, or would yourather put all the guesswork behindyou and get down to the fun ofbuilding an out-of-this-worldlifestyle? Easy choice, right? Then

do yourself a favour: Suspend yourdisbelief, lower your shields, andtry a simple way of improving yourlife.Identify someone you respect who’s

already experiencing what you’reafter, find out what questions theyhabitually ask themselves in order toachieve those experiences, then usethose questions yourself.This is a globally powerful approach

to success that can get you thethings you want more quickly thananything else I’ve discovered. It’sincredible! This system can transformyour life. You don’t even need tounderstand how the system works,although the answer’s quite simple:When you change your habitual questions, youchange your beliefs. Try it! Take the time to prove to

yourself that the system does work,that it can change the level of painand pleasure in your life. If youlike the results, keep using thequestions you’ve discovered untilthey become second nature. Do this,and you won’t care about the whys andthe wherefores. You’ll be too busy!You’ll have learned firsthand there’snothing more powerful than a goodquestion.I learned this technique from

motivator Anthony Robbins. He asks“How do you immediately improve yourlife?” and answers “By discoveringthe habitual questions of people yourespect.” I’m satisfied it works. Whydon’t you see for yourself?Ask different questions, and you

must end up thinking differentthoughts, saying different words,

taking different actions and gettingdifferent results. When you go onestep further, modelling the questionsof successful people, you’re helpingto ensure that the different resultsyou’re pursuing are also goodresults. In other words, you’ve doneeverything you can to arrive at adifferent place which is also a goodplace, to develop different beliefswhich are also profitable beliefs andto become a different person who’smore like the people you admire.

Three Questions I’ve TestedThoroughly:

Note: Consistent use of the

following questions improved my lifein measurable ways, strengthening myrelationships, reducing my stresslevels, affording me greaterhappiness and moving me toward mygoals at light-speed. These are greatquestions that produced results fromthe outset!

1. What’s good about this?Insist upon finding something good

to think and say about everysituation and every person you dealwith. Begin this effort with yourfirst thought in the morning (Waking upabove ground is a good thing.) and quit onlywhen you go to sleep at night (Thanksfor brightening my day sweetheart.), resolvingto act in a manner which elicitsomething good from every situation.Refuse to accept anything less from

yourself. Mercilessly ask thequestion “Where’s the good in this experience?”Do this regardless of how you feel.Even if you begin by acting badly,coming to your senses late in thegame, ask the question, turn theexperience around, salvage something.Remember, as you act, so shall youbecome.

2. How can I make this experiencework for me?Ask questions like “What specific things

can I think, say or do that will increase the rewardI’m going to get from this situation? How can Ichange the way I’m looking at this experience sothat it becomes something which will work for me?What can I say or do differently that will makewhat I’m experiencing more useful or enjoyable?”It doesn’t matter how insignificantthe profit may seem, refuse to turn

your back on an experience untilyou’ve found some way to make what’shappening, or what has happened, workfor you!

3. How can I also make thissituation rewarding for someone else?Consider using questions like “What’s

in this situation that can be made to work forsomeone I care about (friend, relative, neighbour,customer or employee)? What can I think, say anddo to enrich the lives of the people I’m dealingwith, right now? What can I do for this person thatwill best serve them at this time?” You know,sometimes the best way to make asituation work for you is to do whatyou can to make it rewarding forsomeone else. Learn to ask “Where’s theprofit in this situation, who can benefit from it,and how can I make it happen?”Call up these questions whenever

your situation changes during theday. Ask them when you noticeyourself feeling a negative orunproductive emotion. Ask them whenyou’re tired. Ask them when you’re ontop of your game. Ask them just forthe heck of it. When you’ve tried the questions for

a reasonable period of time, if youfind you like the changes you’veobserved in yourself, and you likethe results you’ve been achievingthrough your new behaviours, make acommitment to use these questionsfaithfully until they become secondnature.Why ask these specific questions?

Consistent use of them will allow youto see for yourself there’s good inevery situation and that anyexperience can be made profitable for

you or someone close to you. Ask thequestions often enough, find the goodoften enough, find a way to make yourexperiences work for you oftenenough, and the behaviours willbecome part of who you are. You’llhave fundamentally changed the way inwhich you relate to the world. Abelief that there’s something goodand profitable in all yourexperiences will take up residencedeep inside you. A certainty willdevelop that everything happens for areason and that it can be made toserve you. And guess what? If you canfind some way to make everything workfor you, then everything will workfor you! But don’t stop there! The three

questions I’ve given you are nothingmore than a place from which to

begin. Continue with your efforts.Find the role models I mentioned.Enlist their support. Ask them toshare their questions with you. Neverstop! Keep searching for excitingquestions and answers that havealready been used to achieve thethings you’re after. Persevere,persevere, persevere.Don’t limit yourself! You’ll want to

develop good questions for everyaspect of your life, but there’s norule that says you can’t change thosequestions when better ones comealong. If this should happen, simplydiscard the old question andconsciously use the new one until itbecomes something you ask out ofhabit.I believe faithful use of this

system will get you absolutely

everything you want. All you have todo is keep up the effort. Never stoplooking for, and using, goodquestions. It’s your key to a betterfuture.

How are you going to improve yourlife right now? By asking thefollowing three questions, in order,as often as possible... What’s goodabout this? How can this work for me?How can I make this situationrewarding for someone else?

CHAPTER 6

THE MAGIC OF FOCUS

The wind and the waves slammed into

us with icy indifference. Airtemperature plummeted to nearfreezing in a matter of seconds, andnumbness began to crawl over theexposed flesh of my hands and face. Isaw a brief flash of white as terrorclawed at the corner of Danny’s eyes,then he turned wordlessly back to hisoar. He was right to be afraid.Things had started out well enough.

Danny and I’d stopped at the weatheroffice where we both worked asmeteorological technicians. We lookedover the current reports, got anupdated forecast and checked both thebarometer and the wind recorder.Everything seemed to be fine. We’d befishing for walleye on the Bug Riverwithin an hour.And everything was fine - until our

motor quit. Even then, we’d no reason

to be alarmed. The skies were troublefree, and the lake was calm enoughfor rowing. All we had to do wasbacktrack in the shelter of a coupleof islands, then cross the quarter ofa mile of open water which laybetween them and the mainland. Thisdone, we’d be in sight of thevillage. Rescue would simply become amatter of waiting to be noticed. Suchwas our plan.We were about a hundred yards from

where we wanted to land the boat whenthe storm caught us. Even though afast-moving wall of water (extendingfrom the surface of the lake to thesky and preceded by a seething massof ugly white waves) is hard tomiss, we didn’t see the storm untilit came barreling down the straight.It wasn’t just one cell either, but a

whole line of thunder clouds. Theycan move with remarkable speed.I’ll confess I was concerned when

the storm first appeared, but Iwasn’t frightened. The fear didn’tsurface until a few minutes later,when we found ourselves being tossedaround in ten foot swells that werecrested with white-caps belonging onthe ocean. In the space of less thanfive minutes, and without moving aninch closer to shore, Danny and Iwere blown a quarter of a mile south.It happened that fast. One minute we

were thinking about landing the boatand starting a fire to warmourselves, the next minute we werebeing swept south towards thirteenmiles of open water. This was something we definitely

didn’t want. Big Trout Lake is a

killer when rough weather sets in. Weboth knew that once we hit the mainlake capsize was inevitable and thatthe icy water would seal our fate. Bythe time a search party thought tolook for as at the south end of thelake, instead of the west end, we’dbe goners. I don't know why I happened to be

looking at Danny when it happened.Some notion, I think, that byfocusing on him I could keep my ownfear in check. You see, the waves hadgotten so large we could see throughthe curl of the white caps as theyraged down toward us. The sight mademy stomach knot up into an iron ball.When our boat was in the trough of awave, my friend had to stick his oarupward into the side of the thing andpull with a clumsy down and backward

movement. Similarly, each time wefound ourselves perched at the crestof a wave, I couldn’t draw water withmy oar. As for the sudden slip-and-rush down the side of each succeedingmonster wave? That’s something Istill don’t like to think about. Anyway, we were at the bottom of one

of these boat-crackers, and I wasmonitoring Danny’s every move. Iwatched in awe as his oar pierced thewave at nothing less than an upwardangle of 45 degrees. He bunched upinto a ball, pushed hard with hislegs, rose up off his seat a littleand arched backward. The oar snapped.I can see it clearly on the screen

of my mind: Danny’s feet shot up pastthe top of his head as if they’d beenfired from the barrel of a pistol. Heflipped more than 360 degrees while

in the air, then stopped abruptlywhen the back of his head connectedwith the front seat of the boat. Ithought his neck was broken, but Ididn’t have time to make sure. Ichecked for a pulse and to see if hewas breathing. Yes, he was alive. Hewas also out cold.At this point, we were about 200

feet from shore and only 50 feet fromthe last point of land that couldsave us from certain death. There wasa terrible sinking feeling in mychest when I saw how quickly theremaining shoreline was disappearing.Anger and fear forced me suddenly

upright. I stood there in the midstof the raging storm, the boat buckingbeneath me, my eyes focused on therocky shore, and I asked “How can I dothis?”

As long as I live, I’ll never forgetthe answer that popped immediatelyinto my mind. It was a crystal-clearpicture of me rowing with the passionand speed of a fiend, followed by aphrase that rifled up from the depthsof my brain... “Paddle like a madman!”

There seems to be no limit to what afocused mind can do. With no one tolean on but myself, and the onlyoptions being death or not death, Ifound myself determined to drive ourboat onto the rock I’d chosen as atarget. I used my oar as a paddle,reefing on it with superhumanstrength, with the crazed fury of amadman. The effort continually liftedme off my feet and slammed my bodyinto the side of the boat. Itmattered not. Nothing in the world

mattered except hitting that rock. SoI did.

P.S.Danny was only unconscious for a

minute or two and, other than aheadache, he suffered no ill effects.We spent the afternoon, cold and wet,working our way back to our intendedlanding sight - on foot. Shortlybefore dark, and long before wereached our destination, we wererescued by a native fisherman.

CHAPTER 7

BELIEVING IS ACHIEVING

The secret to getting anyone(including yourself) to do anythinglies in your ability to accessbeliefs that will support the outcomeyou want. Questions are the best wayto accomplish this. The following aresome specific examples demonstratingexactly what I mean...

How can I motivate a businesspersonto hire me? I could ask the question“If I can increase your earnings andcut your costs, would you be willingto pay me a percentage of the profitsyou achieve as a direct result of myefforts?” How will a prospective employer

react to such a question? Mostbusinesspeople in this world,

especially in the light of ourcurrent economy, would sit down andlisten to your proposition. Why?Because the question appears in sucha form that it tells the employerthat he (or she) won’t have to payyou a cent if you don’t perform asyou’ve told him you will. Secondly,it tells him you won’t be adding anyexpense to his bottom line. Quite thecontrary! You’re actually promisingto cut costs. And finally, he doesn’teven have to pay you a wage; you’vepromised to work on commission. Ifthat doesn’t access beliefs tosupport the outcome you’re after,nothing will. Warning! You must be able to do what

the question implies you can do...You’ll have to prove you can increasecompany earnings while also lowering

costs. Your performance will alsoneed to be trackable by both you andyour new employer. And be prepared tonegotiate your share of the profits.Do your homework!

How can I motivate myself to treatothers in ways that will increase myvalue to them? Ask questions like “Inwhat way, big or small, can I showthis person how much I care aboutthem? How can I make this person feelimportant? What can I do to increasemy value to this person, right now?How am I going to multiply my serviceto them? Have I actively demonstratedmy value? Have I been clear as towhat this person can expect from me?”Whether we’re talking about a

personal relationship or a businessrelationship, the other person must

have a clear understanding of thevalue of interacting with you. You’vegot to be able to generate or accessbeliefs that make it possible forpeople to see you as the valuableasset you are. Asking betterquestions of yourself, and of them,is a powerful way to do this.

How do I motivate myself to feelgood about someone? One of thequickest ways to increase your valueto someone else is to show yourecognize their worth, that you holdthem in high regard, that they’reimportant to you or that you findthem interesting. You can’t do any ofthese things effectively unless youfirst feel good about the person.Questions can help you reach thatdesired state.

When you find yourself experiencingfeelings you recognize as less thanoptimal, ask questions like “What isit that I like or love about thisperson? How can I show them thismakes me feel great? What is it thatattracts me to him or her, and howcan I experience some of this, rightnow? How does this person make mefeel important? What about theminterests me? What do they do on aconsistent basis that leaves mefeeling good? Why do I value them? Isthere something about this individualI admire or respect? How can Idemonstrate this?”Asking questions to change the way

you feel and act must, in the longrun, also change the way peoplerespond to you. It’s called cause andeffect.

Is motivation really that simple?Consider this... Your house burnsdown. What’s the bottom line? You’rehomeless, right? No matter how yourespond emotionally, you’re stillhomeless. There’s nothing you can doto change the fact. And once yourealize this truth, everything comesdown to one choice: You can beunhappy and homeless, or you can behappy and homeless. Motivation is thatsimple. When you get down to the nub of this

last idea, you might find yourself inagreement with my belief that all oflife’s choices are simple. No matterhow complex a situation appears tobe, the basic choice you must make isgoing to be something like “Am Igoing to enjoy this, or not? Am I

interested in this person, or not? DoI give this task my all, or not? WillI do what’s honest, or not? What’simportant, and what’s not? What’s theright thing to do, and what’s thewrong thing to do?” Do you understand what I’m saying?

Life is nothing but a never-endingstream of simple choices. Acquireskill in dealing with these simplechoices, and you’ll not only become askilled motivator, you’ll becomeskilled at life. This is a given. Unsure? There’s a story about a fire

that burned Thomas Edison’slaboratory to the ground. Everythingwas lost. It was a disaster ofunbelievable proportions. What did hedo? He reputedly summoned his lovedones to his side, gestured excitedlyat the fire and exclaimed “Thank God!

We can start anew.”Can you imagine? What an incredible

response! Here’s a brilliant man wholost a large portion of his life’swork at a single stroke. He must havefelt a sense of loss. He must havebeen depressed. He must have chosenthe behaviours of despair. Yet hedidn’t! Edison understood that he hada choice between seeing the fire as agood thing or a bad thing. He was able tosee that he could choose to run towardlife or make the decision to run awayfrom life. He chose to run toward life,to see the fire as a positive force. You can bet the proverbial farm

Edison acted the way he did becauseof the questions he asked himself.One can also be certain thosequestions did two specific things:First, they created an expectation of

enjoyment or excitement. Second, theyaccessed beliefs to support thefulfillment of that expectation.Why don’t you test me on this last

statement? What’s enjoyable in yourlife, right now? What specificreasons do you have for being happy?Record these answers on a sheet ofpaper. Don’t stop until you fill anentire page with good, solid reasonsfor being happy with your life -exactly as it is. Now, when you listed these reasons,

weren’t you in fact creating theexpectation of being happy? Didn’tthe process leave you in a happierstate? How about it? Aren’t youcloser to a smile than you were a fewshort moments ago? Haven’t youperformed the simple task of movingtoward life, rather than away from

it? Didn’t you make a fundamentalchoice? Yes? There’s your proof:Questions access the beliefs thatmotivate us; they move us toward oraway from things. Motivation is simple.

How do I maintain a sense ofexcitement and enjoyment about life?My four-year-old son and I werespending some time together in hisplay room. As is often the case withme, an idea caught my mind. Haydenrealized I was drifting away anddecided to do something about it. Hecocked his head at an angle, staredat me for a moment, then shouted atthe top of his lungs “Stop! It’sfun!”The message, though unusually

worded, was easy to understand: My

son wanted me to stop daydreamingbecause I was spoiling the fun we’dbeen having together. I gave him ahug, laughed at the cleverness of hisinterrupt, and all was right with theworld again.But a funny thing happened. The

phrase didn’t leave me. It bangedaround in my head like a chain-ladenghost at a favourite haunt. I figuredmy mind was trying to conveysomething of importance to me andthat I’d eventually figure out whatit was. Fast forward a few weeks... I was in

my office worrying over a problem. Mywife came in. I thought she wanted totalk, and I tried to brush her off.Even when she ignored my rudeness andsmilingly handed me a drink, all Imanaged was a rough “Thanks” before

returning to my work. “Stop! It’s fun,” she yelled. I was so startled I practically

jumped out of my chair. I shook myhead, stared at her in amazement fora moment, realization of my actionswashing over me. She was right. My life,working at home, being accessible to my family -it’s fun! Yet there I was, again, actinglike the opposite was true. Alightening bolt hit me between theeyes.Let me explain it this way: Have you

ever heard anyone say “Stop, I’mhaving too much fun?” Never, right? Aperson who loves their job doesn’tstand up one day and quit. Coupleswho feel good about each other don’tsuddenly divorce. And no one wants anexciting vacation to end. Peoplespend far too much time searching for

enjoyment or pleasure to everconsider saying something asridiculous as “Stop, I’m having toomuch fun.” Yet this is what so manyof us are doing every time we worryabout something that hasn’t happenedyet. It’s what we do when we yell ata loved one. It’s what we do when wesay to a son or a daughter or ahusband “Not now, I’m too busy.” Wetake an activity which is supposed tobe fun, and we turn it into somethingthat’s not. We get our prioritiesbackwards. In a very real sense, wereverse the meaning of my son’sclever statement, saying to thosearound us “Stop! It’s fun.” - thattheir love and attention isn’t asenjoyable as whatever we’re doing. What I’m saying is true, you know.

When we put off a loved one for our

work or our television show or forsome other thing which hasmomentarily captured our attention,we’re saying “What I’m doing is morefun than spending time with you... Sostop bugging me.” Unbelievable!Stupid! Insane!I received a wake-up call that day,

one resulting in the promise thatwhen I feel something other thantremendous excitement and joy at theprospect of being alive, I’m going toshout at the top of my lungs “Stop!It’s fun.”What are you going to do? Wouldn’t

you feel a lot better about yourself(and your life) if you took thosethree words “Stop! It’s fun.” andput them to similar use? Whatpossible harm could come fromreminding yourself every hour or so

that life is truly incredible? Cananything but good come from a dailyreminder that the people you love,and who love you, are abundantsources of joy? What can you lose bytraining yourself to recognize theonset of negative emotions and tointerrupt them by shouting toyourself “Stop! It’s fun.” Becauseafter all, isn’t it?

How do you have a great day everyday? It’s easy! Ask yourself greatquestions - every day. “What’s greatabout my situation? Where’s theadvantage in these things? How can Imake this experience work for me? Howwill achieving these things make mefeel? How can I enjoy doing this?Where’s the profit hiding in thisproblem? Every problem is a screaming

opportunity for profit: What’sscreaming at me right now? How can Ilive this moment in greatness?” (Lookup the definition of greatness.) “Whocan I call, and how can I make themfeel good about themselves? How can Imake this person feel important? Howam I going to increase my servicetoday? How can I enjoy what I’m aboutto do?”If you spend your days asking

questions designed to put your focuson beliefs that support greatbehaviour, how can you not experiencegreat results?

How do you make the most of yourbeliefs?You have thousands of beliefs. So

let’s, for the sake of argument,

suppose that a hundred of thesebeliefs support an important decisionyou’re about to make. I can assureyou that you’ll also have a hundredbeliefs that don’t support thedecision. Ask “What’s great aboutthis situation?” to access the firsthundred beliefs. Ask “What’s wrongwith this picture?” to access theother hundred. Your choice!The answer is that simple. You make

the most of your beliefs by accessingthe right ones, at the right time.What you’ll do in any situationhinges almost exclusively on whichbeliefs you access. Similarly, thebeliefs accessed are determined bythe question(s) you ask. So, ask aquestion based on what you want toget from the situation and you’lltarget applicable beliefs.

I realize most people think theybehave the way they do because of thebeliefs they hold. They’re wrong! Weall act the way we do because of thebeliefs we’re accessing in any givensituation. And as unsettling as itmight be to consider, each of us havebeliefs that will support just aboutanything we want to do - from jumpingoff a cliff to choosing what we’llhave for dinner this evening. Thetrick is accessing the most usefulbeliefs for the situation at hand.That’s where questions come in.Questions represent the best belief-accessing tool we have.Example: I knew a woman who

habitually asked “What’s going tohappen?” whenever she thought aboutexercising. Her answer? “I’m going tosweat.” And as you might guess, she

absolutely hated sweating! Endresult? The woman didn’t do much inthe way of exercise. You’re going to be astounded when

you hear the solution to her problem.It’s so simple as to leave youshaking your head in wonderment. The solution I suggested was for the

woman to change her question to “Whatwill happen if I don’t exercise?” Shetried it. Well, it was as if she’dturned on a switch. All sorts ofanswers (that supported the activityof walking) poured into her mind. Shesaid the experience left her wantingto go walking immediately. You see,my client had beliefs that supportedboth exercising and not exercising. Ijust helped her access beliefs thatsupported the outcome she wanted. Shechanged her focus by asking a different question.

Try this technique yourself. Askquestions designed to focus you onmoving toward things you want andaway from things you don’t want.Then, once you’ve gotten the hang ofit, start using questions whencommunicating with others. Help themmove toward things they want and awayfrom things they don’t want. Believeme, the better you are at this, thebetter your life will become.

How do you increase your value toothers? Ask questions, questions andmore questions. What question(s) could you ask

people that would leave them feelingimportant? What behaviours would showthat you’re interested in them? What question could you ask yourself

on a consistent basis which would

motivate you to treat peopleextremely well, no matter how theyact? Would this behaviour make youmore valuable or less valuable to thepeople in your life? I have a friend who asks himself a

couple of questions whenever someoneresponds to him in a way other thanhe expects. First, he asks “How arethey feeling?” Then, he continueswith “What is it about this person’ssituation that could be making themrespond this way?” What greatquestions! They put his focus on theother person, literally catapultinghim into their shoes, forcing him totry and understand their actions.What exactly does this do? I’ll putit as plainly as I can: My friendspends his time being interested, notinteresting. People feel valuable

when he’s around. They feel likethey’re interesting. They feel good.They feel like he cares about them.It isn’t hard to see why people goout of their way to help my friendwhen he calls on them, is it? Theybelieve he’s valuable. They’remotivated to help him! How valuable do your customers,

loved ones, employers or employeesthink you are?

As we believe, so we achieve. Butwhat beliefs have you been accessingwith your questions? What questionshave you been asking? Are yourquestions and your beliefs workingfor you or against you? Take the timeto find out.

CHAPTER 8

HOW TO CAPTURE A MIND & WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO DO SO

Where does one go for overnightdelivery in the U.S.? FedEx. What’sthe real thing? Coke. Why is it a smallworld? IBM. Who comes to mind when Imention mufflers? Midas. And do youremember when jeans were called Levi’s? You were able to answer the

preceding questions because thecompanies mentioned knew how to dosomething many businesspeople never

learn. They knew how to positionthemselves in your mind, to establishownership of specific words orphrases (by investing hug sums oftime and money), to be the firstcompany you thought of when youneeded a product or service theyprovided. Am I talking about marketing here?

Yes, but not in the way you mightexpect. You see, the commonassumption is that marketing is theprocess of offering your products andideas for trade. It’s not. Marketingis actually about the manipulation ofperception. Specifically, it’s aboutmanipulating the perception of yourprospective customers, doingeverything you can to capture andmaintain a position in their mindsthat's valuable or useful to you.

The fundamental purpose of marketingis

to get into the mind of the customerand stay there.

Marketing ensures the answer to thequestion “Who you gonna call?” isn’t“Ghostbusters” but is, in fact, yourcompany. Don’t misunderstand me: Goodproducts are important. You won’tmaintain the position you wantwithout them. But they aren’t thefocus of marketing.A case in point ... When you want

fast food, great value and fun forthe kids, what restaurant invariablypops into your mind? McDonald’s,right? The company has bought thatposition in your mind with a constantbarrage of advertising. They started

out owning the word fast, then theywent after the word value and thephrase fun for the kids. More recently,they’ve run ads which remind peoplethat McDonald’s is also fun for adults,purposely going after the words orphrases or positions in your mindwhich relate most closely to whatMcDonald’s does well. Why? These arethe things they want you to call themfor. Food isn't the focus.McDonald’s doesn’t sell food that

tastes like you’ve spent allafternoon labouring over it, so theyspend huge amounts of money toprogram you to think about them onlywhen you want a fast, inexpensivemeal you and the kids will enjoy.It’s a process called positioning. When I need to do most home repairs,

I go to a store called McDiarmid’s.

Why? I’ve had more success gettingthe things I want, at the price Iwant, at McDiarmid’s than I haveanywhere else. They own the homerepair spot in my mind. On the other hand, when I need deck

maintenance supplies, I go to HomeHardware. They’ve successfullycaptured that position in my mind. Fife’s Hardware? I miss them. The

owners retired a few years ago, andthe store closed. Everyone in Kenoraknew that when no one else had whatyou needed, Fife’s did. You’d pay alittle more, but they’d have it.Got the idea? Marketing is concerned

with two related things: Getting into yourmind and staying there. This chapter isdesigned to give you an introductorylook at how this is done.

Be first in the mind of yourcustomer.There were cars offered in the

marketplace which were better thanthose built by Henry Ford. He didn’teven build the first car. Ford was,however, the first to build automobileson the assembly line and, as a directresult, was also the first to offer anaffordable car to the public. For therest of Henry Ford’s life everyoneelse had to chase him.Understand the lesson provided by

the Ford example. I believe it’s thekey to a successful marketingcampaign. If you can’t be first, set up a newcategory you can be first in. Rolls-Royce did this admirably.

Henry Royce provided detailedengineering and unsurpassed quality,while Charles Rolls saw to it that

the cars they made were big, fast andstylish. Their 1907 Silver Ghost wasthe culmination. It was a car sounlike any ever built - having suchpower, comfort and quality ofmanufacturing - that it firmlycaptured a spot in the minds of thepublic. Result? Not only did Rolls-Royce create a new category of car,they quickly became the standard forexcellence in automobilemanufacturing.Interestingly enough, Rolls was

never first in the overallmarketplace. But, remember, marketingisn’t about being first in themarketplace (having the best sales,or the biggest share). This goal maybe part of your overall strategy, butit isn’t the primary function ofmarketing. Marketing is about being first in

the mind of your customer. Rolls did that. When I was growing up, people

wanting to make a firm and decisivestatement about their wealth andstatus bought a certain kind of car.They didn’t buy a Jag or aLambourghini or a Porsche. Nor didthey buy the most popular car fromthe most successful manufacturer inthe marketplace. They bought a Rolls.Why? Because Rolls-Royce was the bestthat money could buy. In my mind itstill is.

Once you’ve captured the positionyou want, do whatever it takes tostay there. Which tastes better, Coke or Pepsi?

More to the point: Who cares? Thecolossal media battle fought betweenPepsi and Coke had nothing at all to

do with which product tasted better,or was better. The battle was simplyfor a position in your mind. Pepsiwanted to be first; Coke was.I believe that if you comprehend

this last point, then you understandmarketing. Marketing is not a battle ofproducts, it’s a battle of perceptions.

So, how do the big guys and gals doit? How do they capture a position inyour mind and then maintain it? Oneway, perhaps the most powerful of allmarketing approaches, is to own aspecific word in the prospect’s mind.Gillette owned the word razor.Pillsbury was dough. Betty Crocker wascakes. These companies were the brandnames we grew up with, and it didn’thappen by accident. The whole concept of brand names

stems from what marketing is about.It’s about making certain that thecustomer thinks of you when they needthe products or services you provide.Marketing is all about positioning.As I’ve illustrated, positioning is

a powerful concept. But let’s delve alittle deeper. Let’s take a look atthe rise and fall of Bayer. I thinkit’s a fascinating example of justhow powerful the concept ofpositioning is. Bayer bottled acetylsalicylic acid

(A.S.A) under the brand name ofAspirin. And because they were firstin our minds with such a powerful anduseful drug, they were wildlysuccessful. In fact, they were sosuccessful in their positioningefforts that Aspirin actuallyreplaced the phrase acetylsalicylic

acid and the abbreviation ASA in ourculture. Ownership of the word Aspirin gave

Bayer such domination in the marketthat no company was able to competewith them until the problem of ReyesSyndrome was discovered. Whathappened then illustrates the powerof positioning even more clearly thanBayer’s incredible marketing success.The very thing that made Bayersuccessful - ownership of the wordAspirin in our minds - also led totheir demise, in terms of marketshare. You see, at the same timepeople were linking the name Aspirinto the wonder drug, acetylsalicylicacid, they were also linking the nameof Bayer to the word Aspirin. Do youremember what happened? When Aspirinfell out of favour, so did Bayer.

An interesting follow-up note to allof this is that other drug companiesseem to have learned from Bayer’smistake. For example, we all knowthat Tylenol rose up to replaceAspirin in the marketplace. But do weknow who makes Tylenol? No, we don’t!In fact, I actually had to go look onthe label of my own bottle of thestuff to find out that Tylenol isbottled by McNeil.I want to make sure you understand

what I’ve been saying. The companywho successfully imbedded the wordTylenol in our minds, thereby makingsure that when we wantedacetaminophen we thought of Tylenol,also made equally sure that when wewanted Tylenol we didn’t think oftheir company. I believe this marketing strategy

was probably a wise choice. Do youremember the Tylenol poisonings? Thebrand isn’t quite as popular as itused to be, is it?

Las Vegas is gambling. It owns thatword. Want proof? How many of youthink about going to Reno when youthink about gambling? Ask someone in their 50’s or 60’s to

tell you who The King was. They won’ttell you it was Edward. The King was,and always will be, Elvis. Who owns the word Camelot? As popular

as the Kennedy administration was,I’d wager King Arthur still ownsthe deed to that particular plot ofland. Who’s The Duke? John Wayne. There’ll

never be another. Who owns the word Communism? It’s

Russia, isn’t it? It doesn’t matterthat communism has failed there:Russia still owns the word. Forexample, how many times have youthought of China and communism at thesame time?

There are many reasons to believe that two companies (or people)

can’t own the same word in your mind.

Think about the implications ofthis! Pepsi’s marketing strategy isdetermined by Coke. Burger King’sstrategy is determined by McDonald’s.It’s a fact of business. Even smalleroutfits like Pic-A-Pop or Wendy’s arebound by the fact that there can onlybe one company at the top. Why? Asimple reason is that it’s difficult,and often financially impossible, to

go head-to-head with whoever is aheadof you in your particular market. Theleverage just isn’t there. Instead,the underdog needs to go for anentirely different position in ourminds. To do otherwise is a riskyproposition. Watch the ads and thebusiness stats. I think you’ll findthis holds true.Consider the implication this way:

People don’t carry many optionsaround in their minds. We’reprogrammed to make constant choicesbetween two things: We move away ortoward; we do this or that; we chooseright or wrong. None of us want tosettle for second best. We’ll takeour first choice whenever we can. So,in the long run, marketing tends tocome down to what I’ve mentioned:Finding a way to be first in the mind

of your customer, then doingeverything in your power to staythere. Let’s go back to the Coke-Pepsi

example. Coke was invented only a fewyears before Pepsi, but customershave the perception that Coke is theold-timer, the big boy on the block.Coke also did a terrific jobportraying the drinking of itsproduct as an American pastime. DidPepsi let this fact hamper theirambitions? No way. Pepsi turnedCoke’s apparent strength (it’slifelong appeal to the oldergeneration) into a weakness andbecame the choice of a newgeneration. It created The PepsiGeneration.I’ll repeat that. Pepsi set itself

up as an alternative to Coke by

turning Coke’s major strength into amajor weakness. In other words, theychose a marketing approach thatexactly opposed Coke’s position inour minds, making the drinking ofCoke a choice between the new and theold, forcing us to unconsciouslyplace Pepsi in an equal or equivalentposition in our minds. They split themarket, created two categories,forced the consumer to choose betweenthe best of the old world and thebest of the new world. They earned aspot in our minds where they were,indeed, first. How’s that forContrarian thinking?The Pepsi story proves there are

many ways to be number one. The keyto discovering one of these spots isto remember there are alwaysdifferent ways to look at things,

different perspectives, differentpoints on which to focus. I’m reminded of a pattern I noticed

in old gunfighter movies. The bestgunfighters didn’t battle with theirclosest competitors. Only the veryrich or the very dumb did that. No,the good ones tolerated each other.They shared the marketplace, so tospeak. They each found a niche wherethey could be first, where they couldbe the best. One was the fastest,another was the most accurate. Therewere one-gun men and two-gun men.There were those who preferred longrifles and those who used a six-shooter. Then there was Bowie. Heused a knife, rather than a gun. All of these men found a way to be

top in a field, rather than becomingjust another upstart looking to knock

the so-called market leaders offtheir perch. As I mentioned, theyeach created their own category. Theyfound a way to get to the top bycarving out a niche within thebiggest marketplace, by finding anarea where no one could compete withthem, where they were the best, andwhere they were first in people’sminds. As is often the case, artimitates life.

Something else to remember... Whenyou’re actively trying to change acustomer’s perception of you, yourproduct, or the marketplace, you’reattempting to change his or herbeliefs. This takes time. So often, abusiness will opt for the quick fixto their growth problems - a seriesof sales, down-sizing, a new product

line - only to find they’ve cut theirown throat in the process, thatinstead of owning a spot in thecustomer’s mind, they’ve becomeindistinguishable from others in themarketplace.

Think of marketing as educating thecustomer. You’ve got to teach peoplewhat’s unique and special about youand your product. You’ve got to showthem why they should choose you inthe first place, why they shouldreturn frequently, and maybe even whythey should increase the size oftheir purchases. You’ve got to createa permanent position for yourself inthe minds of the people who are yourtarget market. It’s the only sure-fire approach to sustainable long-term growth, and it takes time.

Speaking of making mistakes like theintroduction of unnecessary newproduct lines: Don’t do it without alot of careful thought! Extending anddiluting your brand is a riskyproposition. I used to go to Midas when I had

muffler problems. I wonder why theythought I’d go to them for brakes?Someone else already owned that spotin my mind. Another example of this foolishness

is Pizza Hut. I thought they did awonderful thing with their slogan“Pizza Hut... And Nothing But.” Thephrase stuck in my mind, and itactually brought me back to themafter many years of absence. Thenthey did something I couldn’tbelieve. They started running aseries of ads introducing their

newest product, wings. Ads, by theway, which also included the aboveslogan. What a waste of money! Notonly did they not get the wing spotin my mind, their credibilitysuffered.Extending your line of products or

services on the assumption thatpeople will buy because it has yourname on it is an idea which hasproven to be expensive for manycompanies. Be prepared to leave some things

alone. No one’s going to believe youcan be the best at everything. Thisis still the era of specialization,the age of delivering a specificproduct or service to the largestnumber of people. Giving up things isintegral to that process. Take, for example, the appearance of

the superstores (Big Box Stores).They were, and are, first when it comesto offering a good selection ofquality products at the best price.They managed to achieve this positionbecause they willingly gave up allthe frills other businessestraditionally offered, so they coulddramatically reduce the price oftheir offerings to the customer. Alot of businesses have gone underlearning there’s no way to directlycompete with these stores. Why?Because a traditional business can’tgive up what the superstores havegiven up. A business that has lost oris losing its market share to asuperstore needs to understand thatthere’s no going back, that they’regoing to have to establish adifferent category they can be first

in.Contrarian thinking can help. “No

one sells more cottages” claims alocal realtor. If I wanted to go intocompetition with him, I’d seriouslyconsider a statement like “No onesells fewer cottages... but we sellevery single one that’s listed withus.” Do you see the reasoning? If themarket you’re interested in is heldby someone who specializes in sellingfast cars, why not establish yourselfas a dealer who sells slow cars?That’s right, slow cars - for theperson who wants complete leisure andcomfort, rather than speed. Toeffectively compete in a marketplaceheld by a big restaurant likeMcDonald’s, I should give seriousconsideration to slow-cooked,wholesome food (if not gourmet)

served in an intimate and adultenvironment. It’s an offer that’sexactly the opposite of whatMcDonald’s does. I won’t get thecustomers to whom fast food is mostimportant, but I’ll get the ones whodon’t mind slow food, and to whomtaste and atmosphere does matter.It’s a smaller share but can be veryprofitable.These examples illustrate a viable

marketing approach that works byoffering something the competitioncan’t do. It’s what the superstores Imentioned earlier did to smallbusiness. Think about it: The fastfood place can’t offer the slow,painstaking preparation that is amust in gourmet cooking; the fast cardealer can’t switch to, or add, aline of slow cars without damaging

his position; and the realtor whosells a lot of cottages, definitelyisn’t going to give each of hiscustomers his individual attention,because the big guy can’t be smalland personal.

Admit a negative, get a positive. “When overnight isn’t necessary...”

was a slogan tossed around by anational postal service to the southof us that couldn’t compete in thearena of overnight document delivery.The company owned up to this negativebut showed that it could competeeffectively for two, three and fourday deliveries. Very slick. I foundmyself giving them the positive, eventhough I knew exactly what was goingon. You see, by admitting they’djustifiably lost a portion of their

business to companies like FedEx, Iwas more inclined to believe theirclaim that they were still the placeto go when overnight delivery wasn’tnecessary.

Look for weakness.It’s unfortunate, but when you’re

the little guy, or you’re a businesslosing market share to someone’sbrilliant idea, the right marketingchoice has to be chipping away at theopposition until you find a weakness.Those who stop chipping just don’tsurvive. The refusal to do thedifficult, to make the Contrarianchoice, means that they have no hopeof uncovering the rare weakness allcompanies exhibit from time to time.As a result, they aren’t positioned

for that one master stroke, thatchance to do the unexpected, to bebold, to be daring, to be a winner.

In every situation there’s going tobe a choice open to you which willproduce more substantial results thananything else. Develop the patienceand the pertinacity to look for thatoption, the objectivity to recognizeit and, finally, the courage toboldly capitalize on the thing.Marketing is no exception.Choose a position you want to occupy

in your customer’s mind, and when yousomehow manage to earn that place, dowhatever it takes to keep it. Expectto have your position constantlychallenged. Be prepared for it. Youshould also expect that you and youremployees will make mistakes. Be

willing to allow this to happen, tolet isolated failures go unpunished.Sustained creativity and growth can’thappen when people are afraid to makemistakes. Unless you’re willing toaccept your mistakes, fix them andcontinue on, you’re in trouble.Persevere.

Also, try to remember that marketingisn’t exact. How can it be? You’retrying to access and affect thebeliefs of a wide variety ofindividuals. In the world ofmarketing the most insane ideas willoften work, while supposedly fool-proof campaigns crash and burn. Howelse can you possibly explain thecreation of the pet rock fad?

Here’s yet another interesting

marketing tidbit: Most businessestend to advertise when they need to,rather than when they should. It’s atruism: Advertising is needed mostwhen things aren’t going well. Ifyou’re looking to launch a marketingprogram of any kind, please rememberthat successful marketing requiresconsistent advertising over longperiods of time. It’s the only way toget into a prospect’s mind and staythere. I don’t mean to imply you must

advertise every day, or every week.Timing, after all, is everything. Forexample, a successful trend usuallyoccurs when the supply never quiteexceeds the demand. Consider yourfavourite author. Would you purchasebooks written by he or she if newones appeared (and were advertised)

each week? Probably not. It’s thefact that a new book by yourfavourite author comes out onlyrarely which keeps you interested,which keeps you buying. Successfulimpresarios and businesspeople havemade use of this knowledge for years.Just think of the phrases “for alimited time only” or “Christmascomes but once a year.” They’reclassic examples of trend building. What you do, when you do it and how

you do it are all good marketingquestions, but the simplest rule toremember is that you need money toget into a mind, and you need moneyto stay in the mind once you getthere. Successful marketing meansspending money. Lots of it.

In closing, I’d like to address

those of my customers who aren’treally interested in marketing.Please, please, please... Do whateverit takes to learn about, understandand put into practice the concept ofpositioning. I’ll even give you areason for doing it: What word, words, orpositions do you occupy in the minds of the peopleyou know and care for? Can you even answerthe question? If not, you now haveyour reason for learning to usepositioning. Furthermore, when you doidentify the position or positionsyou now occupy in the minds of yourloved ones, are they actually thepositions you want to be occupying?If not, what are you going to doabout it? Marketing is the answer, isn’t it?

Even if you have to capture the mind-positions you want one person at a

time. Think of how great it would besecure ownership of words like bestfriend, honest, trustworthy, lover,reliable, valuable, kind, cheerful,positive or successful.

What’s the one thing you’d like to have peoplerecognize you for, and what are you going to doto make sure that when they think of that specificword or phrase your name pops into their heads?

CHAPTER 9

GET INSPIRED

The following quotes have beencollected over many years. In someinstances I’ve forgotten where theyoriginated, but I’ve tried to give

credit where it’s due. I hope youfind these words as enlightening as Ihave, and I encourage you to studythe works of the people mentioned.

The birth of excellence begins withour awareness that our beliefs are achoice.- Anthony Robbins

Our main business is not to see whatlies directly at a distance, but todo what lies clearly at hand.- Thomas Carlyle

Nietche’s formula for the superiorman was “not only to bear up undernecessity but to love it.”- Dale Carnegie

Not what we have, but what we use;

Not what we see, but what we choose;These are the things that mar orblessThe sum of human happiness- Joseph Fort Newton

Behold the turtle who gets nowhereuntil he sticks out his neck.- Unknown

Courage is the capacity to go fromfailure to failure without losingenthusiasm.- Winston Churchill

The secret of success is constancy ofpurpose.- Benjamin Disraeli

Attitude is more important thanfacts.

- Dr. Karl Menninger

If you tell me how you get yourfeeling of importance, I’ll tell youwhat you are. That determines yourcharacter. That is the mostsignificant thing about you.- Dale Carnegie

A man’s true greatness lies in theconsciousness of an honest purpose inlife, founded on a just estimate ofhimself and everything else, onfrequent self-examinations, and asteady obedience to the rule which heknows to be right, without troublinghimself as to what others may thinkor say, or whether they do or do notthat which he thinks or says or does.- Marcus Aurelius

We can control our reaction even whenwe cannot control the problem.- Dr. Robert Schuller

No one ever is defeated until defeathas been accepted as reality.- Napoleon Hill

Negative attachments... If you reallywant to remove a cloud from yourlife, you do not make a bigproduction out of it, you just relaxand remove it from your thinking.That’s all there is to it.- Richard Bach, Illusions

What changes your life is notlearning more, but learning how totake more action - to make decisions.

- Anthony Robbins

Happy the man, and happy he alone,He, who can call to-day his own:He who, secure within, can say:“To-morrow, do thy worst, for I haveliv’d today.”- The Roman poet... Horace

When you are so focused that you nolonger concern yourself with theobstacles, you simply overcome themand go on. When you no longer carewhether anyone approves, then youhave hit the wall and gone beyond.Your journey to your dream is done,fait accompli.- Les Brown, Live Your Dreams

... you can measure the size of aperson by what makes him or her

angry.- Bits and Pieces, The Economic Press

If you want to achieve excellence,you can get there today. As of thissecond, quit doing less-than-excellent work.- IBM founder, Tom WatsonDo all your worrying prior to makinga decision, and after setting thewheels in motion dismiss absolutelyall care or responsibility about theoutcome.- William James, Psychologist

Men are disturbed not by the thingsthat happen, but by their opinion ofthe things that happen.- Epictetus

The measure of mental health is the

disposition to find good everywhere.- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A human being always acts and feelsand performs in accordance with whathe imagines to be true about himselfand his environment.- Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-Cybernetics

The attitude of being immune tostrangers or strange situations, thetotal disregard for all the unknownor unexpected has a name. It iscalled poise. Poise is the deliberateshunting aside of all fears arisingfrom new and uncontrollablecircumstances.- James Mangan, The Knack of SellingYourself

Take the most difficult thing you do

and make it look effortless.- Tony Bennet (On accepting hisGrammy, March 1995)

Did Moses have a secret EleventhCommandment that said bosses have tobe paid more than the people thatreport to them?- Tom Peters

Every moment of resistance totemptation is a victory.- Unknown

If one wishes to be a lover, he muststart by saying “Yes” to love. He cando this by looking carefully andcoolly at the words he uses when hetalks to his wife and children, tohis boss and co-workers, to hisneighbors and close friends, to his

salesgirl and the gas stationattendant.For the words you use will tell youwhat you are, what you have seen,what you have learned and how youhave learned it. For you are yourwords and they can be a long andimportant step on the road to thediscovery of love.- Leo Buscaglia

It is significant that both Judaismand Christianity prescribe joy,rejoicing, thankfulness, cheerfulnessas a means towards righteousness andthe good life.- Maxwell Maltz

There is nothing either good or bad,

but thinking makes it so.- William Shakespeare

A man without a smiling face must notopen a shop.- Chinese Proverb

Talk to people about themselves andthey will listen for hours.- Benjamin Desraeli

A great pleasure in life is in doingwhat others say you cannot do.- Unknown

A merry heart doeth good likemedicine, but a broken spirit driethup the bones.- King Solomon

We are interested in others when theyare interested in us.- Roman poet, Publilius Syrus

My real measure of a hero is I findmyself a better man for having knownhim.- Lonesome Dove: Television series

Seek, above all, for a game worthplaying. Having found the game, playit with intensity. Play as if yourlife and sanity depended on it.Because they do!- Robert DeRopp

If you think you’re too small to havean impact, try going to bed with amosquito.- Anita Roddick

Measure your health by your sympathywith morning and spring. If there isno response in you to the awakeningof nature, if the prospect of anearly morning walk does not banishsleep, if the warble of the firstbluebird does not thrill you, knowthat the morning and spring of yourlife are past. Thus you may feel yourpulse.- Henry David Thoreau

Suppose we are so discouraged thatwe feel there is no hope of everbeing able to turn our lemons intolemonade - then here are two reasonswhy we ought to try, anyway - tworeasons why we have everything togain and nothing to lose.Reason one: We may succeed.

Reason Two: Even if we don’t succeed,the mere attempt to turn our minusinto a plus will cause us to lookforward instead of backward; it willreplace negative thoughts withpositive thoughts; it will releasecreative energy and spur us to get sobusy that we won’t have either thetime or the inclination to mourn overwhat is past and forever gone.- Dale Carnegie, How To Stop WorryingAnd Start Living

Better to light one candle than tocurse the darkness.- Unknown

It takes forever to maintain change;but it takes just a flash to achievechange of even the most profoundsort.

- Tom Peters, The Pursuit of WOW!

Most people are as unhappy as theydecide to be.- Abraham LincolnIt is another of nature’s laws thatonly a habit can subdue anotherhabit.- Og Mandino

How important is language in shapingour experience of life? It isabsolutely fundamental. Quite simply,the words we attach to our experiencebecome our experience.- Anthony Robbins

When a man understands that the aimof life is not material profit, butlife itself, he ceases to fix hisattention exclusively on the external

world.- Alexis Carrel

If we all did the things we arecapable of doing, we would literallyastound ourselves.- Thomas A. Edison

Fear knocked at the door.Faith answered.No one was there.- Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

Those who live in the past, neglectto see the future.- John F. Kennedy Take charge of your thoughts. Youcan do what you will with them.- Attributed to Plato

Successful people do the things that

failures are afraid to tackle.- Og Mandino

I’ve never been a believer inclosing... because my objective isnot to close the sale but to open arelationship.Hans Stenneck, from Spin Selling byNeil Rackham

When I work, I relax; doing nothingor entertaining visitors makes metired.- Pablo Picasso

It’s easy to be smart, just think ofsomething stupid and then say theopposite.- Unknown

The secret of success is making your

vocation your vacation.- Mark Twain

CHAPTER 10

MAKE YOUR EMOTIONS WORK FOR YOU

Look at this cheque, boys,” my salesmanger shouted, waving the thing backand forth under our noses. It was acheque for a little over $4,000.“It’s not a pipe dream. It’spossible. Your buddy here did it. Onemonth. 15 Sales. Nothing to it.” Helooked at me. “Tell ‘em son, was ithard?”I stood up, nervous on the outside,

but beaming on the inside. This iswhat I’d been working toward for along time. A $4,000 month. “No,” Isaid, and shook my head. “It was theeasiest, most exciting month I’ve

ever had.” I stopped for a moment,searching for the right words. “Itwas actually a lot harder on me whenI was selling less.”And it was. This was the insight my

sales manager sincerely wanted eachof his salespeople to understand. Yousee, he already knew it was easier tosell a lot than it was to sell alittle. He already knew one salebegets another, that the thrill ofaccomplishing what we set out to doenergizes us, that it motivates us tostrive for more of the same. He alsoknew that when a salesman comes to aplace where he enjoys the chasesimply because it’s there, when he’sdriven by the enjoyment of what hedoes, more than he is by what heachieves, he’s truly on his way.That’s why this man held sales

meetings every single day. That’sright! Every day, for at least anhour prior to our first call, thisman gathered his salespeople togetherfor ping pong and darts and jokes andstories and skits and demonstrationsand, when necessary, a heart-feltcussing out. On Saturdays, there wasalso a half-day of sales training,followed by at least one sales call.He was tough on us. Worked us hard.

And he didn’t have much use forwhiners or non-producers. But let metell you, I never met a sales managerwho was more on the ball and who, inthe end, showed more compassion. Yousee, if there’s one thing he taughtme, it was that you must have fun outthere, no matter what happens.What’s the point in doing anything

if you can’t enjoy it? Isn’t that

what drives us - the need toexperience pleasure and to avoidpain? The roadster you were eying upyesterday: Why do you want it?Because the metallic green paint jobcauses your blood to sing, makes youfeel like you’ve got goose-bumps allover, gets you excited. Because youknow your friends will drool; it’sgoing to make you feel important,special, lucky. Because when peoplesee you in the car, they’re going toknow you’re somebody, and it’s goingto make you feel great! Becauseyou’ll love the feeling you’ll getwhen you drive it; the car willincrease your enjoyment. Becauseyou’ll feel more alive every timethat engine roars.Most people set goals because they

imagine the achievement of those

goals will leave them feeling acertain way. In other words, theirhappiness hinges on the successfulachievement of whatever they’vedecided to do. The opposite is true. Successful individuals set goals

that will generate the feelings theywant immediately, while they pursuelong-term goals. Yes, they’re chasingthe same things their neighbours areafter - health, wealth and happiness- but they don’t wait for 10, 15 or20 years to experience the feelingsassociated with those results.Successful people do what it takes toexperience feelings of health, wealthand happiness today. A practice thatmotivates them to pursue more of thesame.Is this important? It’s crucial! I’m

convinced that the main reason most

people don’t achieve what they wantfrom life is the simple fact thatthey don’t enjoy the work they’velaid down for themselves. You can’tpossibly achieve $100,000 in salesthis quarter unless you enjoy thework that goes into selling $2000worth of product per day. Think about it. Setting and

achieving daily goals that leave youfeeling great about what you’re doing- as you’re doing it - has tomotivate you to pursue more of thesame. At the very least, it has tomotivate you more than the will-‘o-the-wisp emotions you’re counting onat the end of the journey. To put itsomewhat differently, it’s impossibleto live for tomorrow when all youreally have is today. The sales manager who doesn’t make

sure his salespeople are having funout there is digging his own grave.He’s got to help his people set goalsthat are not only achievable, butthat also leave them feeling likethey want more of the same. It’s theonly road that leads to success.Are you with me here? I don’t care

what you want from life, you’re nevergoing to reach that destinationunless you can motivate yourself toconsistent action over a long periodof time. The way to do this is tobuild as much enjoyment and as littlepain as possible into the process.You must choose tasks or goals thatimmediately create emotions you enjoyfeeling. This represents the bestchance you have for success - andit’s the only way I know to maintaina sense of happiness.

Example: I write on a computer in anoffice I designed. When I don’t wishto be disturbed, the door is closed.I invariably have music playing. Iwork on a project only when it feelsright. If it doesn’t, if I’m stuck,or frustrated or simply not in theright mood, I work on a differentproject. I’ll often have a hot drinkbeside me as I work. All in all, theatmosphere is an enjoyable one.Result? Each completed session ofwriting leaves me feeling like I wantmore. I can’t wait to get back to it.I find myself anticipating theexperience of writing just as much asthe result of writing.Am I saying the result of my

writing, the product, isn’t importantanymore? Not at all. In fact, theenjoyment I’ve been getting from the

process of writing has led to anincrease in production and inquality. For example, I wrote therough draft for my latest book injust fourteen days. In contrast, thedraft copy of the previous book tookmost of a year to complete and wasn’tany better than the one I wrote intwo weeks. I’m so excited about thisI’ve made plans to write another booknext month!Want to try this approach? Just

apply my success system to youremotions:

Step 1: Awareness. Pick a goal. Makeit clear. Write out how you want tofeel while pursuing it, what you hopeto get upon achieving it and why youwant whatever that is. Set no limits.Allow no uncertainty. Convince

yourself of your ability to chasethis thing and achieve it. Get yourmind around the concept that you’veevery right to enjoy your life whileyou pursue your dreams. Then devise astep-by-step plan which will allowyou to do exactly that, to have funwhile chasing your dreams.

Step 2: Action. Do what you’vewritten. Pick a task you believe willlead you in the direction you want togo. Make it a task you’ll enjoydoing. At least make it a task youknow will generate some of thefeelings you want: Satisfaction,enthusiasm, a sense of confidence orself worth - whatever. Start doinglittle things designed to make youwant more of the same. Things thatwill lead you inexorably to the place

you’ve envisioned for yourself, butthat will also leave you feeling sogood about what you accomplish,you’ll move heaven and earth for moreof the same.

Step 3. Analysis. Make sure theabove happens. Evaluate each goal-oriented action you take. Know what’sworking and what’s not working. Notexperiencing the emotions youanticipated? Draft up a new plan ofaction, and try again. Keep workingtoward the place and time whereyou’ll feel the way you want to feelon a consistent basis. Keep movingenjoyably toward your destination,toward the lifestyle of your late-night dreams. After all, what’s thepoint in chasing something that costsyou everything in return?

Step 4: Adjustment. Change yourapproach as necessary. Recognize thatif you keep doing what you’ve beendoing, you’ll keep getting whatyou’ve been getting. This is aterrific thing to remember whenthings are working well. If it ain’t broke,don’t fix it. But if the mechanism isbroken, if things just aren’tstacking up the way you want and needthem to, then pick a new approach.Embrace change. Seek it out. Enjoyit!I’m not kidding. When people are

getting downsized, discarded, dumped,dropped or otherwise drummed out ofcorporations by the boatload, anaversion to change just doesn’t makesense. Not only should you beprepared to do something about the

things in your life that aren’tworking, you should be prepared toenjoy doing so. What could youpossibly lose by trying?

CHAPTER 11

THE CONCEPT OF MASTERMIND

My definition of mastermind is two ormore minds joining together andbecoming something more than theywere individually. Napoleon Hilldefined the concept as “Coordinationof knowledge and effort, in a spiritof harmony, between two or morepeople, for the attainment of adefinite purpose.” “No two minds,” wrote Hill, “ever

come together without, thereby,creating a third, invisible,intangible force which may be likened

to a third mind.” Think of it: A third mind! A

conjured force with the power totransform your life. Sounds likesomething out of Hollywood, doesn’tit? But, please, make no mistake,mastermind is not only real, it’spowerful. Mark Victor Hansen of Chicken Soup for

The Soul fame likens the phenomenon ofmastermind to the effect you get whenbringing two separate candle-flamestogether: They flare up to become asingle entity four times larger thaneither had been alone. Dr. Wayne Dyerspeaks of “The Source,” of “the Godwithin.” I’ve also heard thephenomenon referred to as the“Universal It.”Whatever you want to call that

Creator within us, when we join forces

with others, not only is theindividual potential of those in thegroup pooled, it’s multiplied, givingthese people the increased ability,capacity and power to act. You mighteven say that mastermind is poweritself: The organized and intelligentdirection of knowledge.Would you like proof that mastermind

is the unleashed potential of anynumber of individuals who decide towork together in a spirit of harmonyfor a common purpose? Think of Ghandiuniting India. He proved it. There,more than in any other example I cangive you, is the evidence that wehave somehow been created incomplete,that the way to tap into our vastpotential lies not along an internalroad but, rather, comes fromtravelling with others, from creating

Napoleon Hill’s third mind. And whatabout Henry Ford? He proved it whenhe surrounded himself with men whohad knowledge and skills he didn’t,putting them to work, as a team, tosolve one incredible problem afteranother. “If there is any one secretof success,” he said, “it lies in theability to get the other person’spoint of view and see things fromthat person’s angle as well as fromyour own.” Michelangelo Buonarroti’smentor proved it when he commissionedthe Sisteen Chapel, a projectMichelangelo never would haveotherwise attempted or completed. Thethird mind got it done! AndrewCarnegie, the steel magnate, provedit when he made an incredible fortuneby surrounding himself with peoplewho were willing to help make his

vision real. It was a mastermindgroup, I should add, which spawnedmany millionaires.You need only look to any truly

successful business in any part ofthe world to see that the joining ofminds to a common purpose is the mainroad to great achievement. Puttingyour mind in harmonic harness withothers and pulling the load inthinking unison is the most effectiveway to create the kind of momentumyou wantLook at the misery, the misfortune,

which befalls two people who getmarried or form any other kind ofpartnership, when they don’t worktogether in a spirit of friendship orlove. Then, examine theaccomplishments of those fortunatemen and women who did manage to

create a true partnership, who didjoin their minds, creatively,practically and peaceably for theexpress purpose of attaining theircommon goal of building a rich andenjoyable life together. I knowyou’ll see the difference. Somethinghangs in the air between partners whofollow this path: An energy, acreative force, an invisible bridgeof communication, a tangible bond, athird mind. Yes, something real isgoing on, something has clicked. Andit’s more than friendship orunderstanding. I’ve heard one persondescribe it as harmony. Another slipsinto antiquity and comments on thegreat vibes. A third talks about anincredible feeling of connection.None will ever deny that these luckycouples seem more alive, more

capable, more in tune. In everything they say and do,

people working in concert somehowseem to become more. Here, again, isproof of the power of the mastermind.Look also to their opposites - thoseCEO’s, owners and managers who failto cultivate a business whichencourages a sense of teamwork, afeeling of sharing in a commondestiny, an atmosphere of purposefulharmony. And don’t forget the examplegiven us by the individual unwillingto work with his or her fellow man ina spirit of friendship for theirmutual advancement. I’m talking aboutthe person who refuses to become ateam player. We all know someone likethat (Heck, I’ve been like thatmyself). He or she may have the verybest of reasons for making this

choice, but the fact remains theycan’t, and won’t, achieve nearly asmuch as the person who becomes a partof a mastermind. A visitor to a mental hospital once

asked when he found the guardswatching over a hundred inmates:“Don’t you feel these people willoverpower the guards and escape?” Hegot the reply, “No, lunatics neverunite.”“Help thy brother’s boat across,”

goes the old Hindu saying, “and Lo!Thine own has reached the shore.”Think I’m overdoing it? Look at the technological

breakthroughs we’re achieving becauseof our society’s increased ability tocollect and share informationamicably (via the computer, forexample). Time magazine reported not

too long ago on work being done inthe fields of miniaturization andnanotechnology. It seems we’re nowable to create amazingly smallworking robots - a car the size of agrain of rice, a helicopter that canactually fly but measures only six orseven grains of rice in length, amechanical ant smaller than three ofyour outstretched fingers and afingernail-sized beetle for cleaningout the inside of pipes. We can evendraw pictures with molecules. As forthe evolution of the computer chip?They say there’s practically no limitto what we’re going to be able to dowith it. Such is the power ofmastermind.Consider the incredible advances

being made in modern medicine as aresult of the joining of minds all

over the world for the common purposeof finding a cure for AIDS. Thebreakthroughs are being announceddaily - and not just in the fightagainst AIDS. I read that agenetically altered adenovirus (thevirus responsible for the commoncold) has been used to successfullykill human cancer cells. Feats likethis are made possible becausedifferent people with differentexperiences and different knowledgeare working agreeably for a commonpurpose. The resultant breakthroughsin thinking, the paradigm shifts andfocus adjustments that always comewhen two or more minds work in unisonor harmony, are astounding.Mastermind is power. Without it your

dreams run the real risk of lyinguseless in the dust, weak and sickly

things destined to die unrealizedbecause you had insufficient power totranslate them into action. This is afundamental law you can’t circumvent.Mastermind gives you the ability toact. It gives you power and helps tosustain that power. Get yourself onetoday!Look, I’m not just disseminating

information here. I’ve spent most ofmy life being a maverick, so I’mtalking from experience. I’m the guywho used to revel in my ability to dothings on my own, in my own time andin my own way. Yes, it was a way oflife that gave me a lot of freedom,but it was also a way of life thatseverely limited my options. I’masking you not to make the samemistake!You can still be unique. Just

recognize you don’t have to be uniqueand alone. Cultivate everyrelationship you can. Find somethingin common with each and every personin your life, then put your mind towork with as many of them as you can- with respect to that commonpurpose. Jim enjoys golfing? Ask himto join you on the fairway. Put yourheads together to improve each othersgame. Want to expand your business?Create a mastermind with people whowant to achieve the same thing. Getin the habit of recognizing peoplewith goals similar to yours, thenfind a way to work with them inpursuit of these things. Richnesswill abound. You can count on it.Now, as I’ve mentioned, a mastermind

is formed when two or more peoplewith similar goals come together to

share ideas and insights in apositive manner. These mastermindscan be as diverse as the peoplethemselves, but the underlyingfundamental never changes: Two ormore minds working in unison arealways more creative than those sameminds working alone. That’s as it should be. When you

consider that any two people havecompletely different sets of skills,talents, experiences, knowledge,beliefs, et cetera, from which theydraw their responses to the world,how could it be otherwise? Show me anew product and I immediately focuson the packaging, the writing, thecolour and the feel of the thing.Give the same product to a goodfriend of mine, who’s anextraordinary entrepreneur, and you

can be sure he’ll begin to get ideasabout marketing. Put the two of ustogether in the same room for anhour, let us toss out the ideas thisproduct gives us and you can be surewe’ll come up with some amazingbusiness possibilities neither of uswould have thought of on our own. Addin another good friend, who’s anengineer, and something quitedifferent will begin to emerge.It’s true. As long as different

people can bring themselves togetherfor a common purpose whilemaintaining agreement in feeling,manner and action, the sum will begreater than the parts. So, don’twait...

Start building your own mastermind,today.

1. Identify at least one person youadmire who has compatible goals.

2. Explain what you have in mind,then ask this person to join themastermind group - for your mutualprofit.

3. All subsequent participants mustfirst gain the blessings of currentmembers before being admitted.

4. Agree to meet for an hour atleast once per month (I havedifferent mastermind partners I meetwith on a daily, weekly and monthlybasis).

5. Establish a set of principles orguidelines to be adhered to during

all meetings.Hint: It’s important to be positive

and supportive. The sessions will bemuch more profitable if all membersfeel they can express their beliefsand feelings without danger.Cultivate a sense of harmony andfriendship. Agreement isn’t alwaysnecessary or even desirable, butdisagreements should only be allowedif a solution is also offered at thesame time, in a pleasant manner. Thekey to masterminding is theharmonious pursuit of common goals.

6. Pick a chairperson to run themeeting. The chair should rotateregularly.

7. Choose a common theme or subjectfor each session.

8. During the sessions, each personwill take turns outlining a problemor concern they have within theframework of the chosen subject.

9. After a person states his or herproblem, the other members of thegroup toss out - in turn - ideas orexperiences which may provide usefulinsights or solutions with respect tothat problem.

10. The member may then respond orsummarize. He or she should also givea clear statement as to what actionthey’ve decided to take, based on theinformation and solutions offered.

11. The other members should writedown this person’s goal and confirm

that they can see him or herachieving it. Give people a goodreputation to live up to!

12. Follow-up is essential.

In case you find the structure Ijust outlined not to your liking,there are many other forms ofmasterminding. For example, I havetwo mastermind partners with whom Imeet on the telephone. One sessionis formal, the other isn’t. I talkwith the first gentleman every day.We list each other’s daily goals,offer suggestions and provide supportwhen things don’t go as well as weexpected. The second fellow issomeone I used to see in person butwho has since moved away. Webrainstorm and share insights on a

monthly basis. Yet another mastermindsession involves one friend and ataped speaker. My friend and I listento our mentor for an hour, jottingdown our “Ah Hah’s,” then we spend asecond hour sharing our differentinsights and setting joint goals forthe week based on each others input.There are other, less formal,mastermind ventures I’ve cultivated,as well. One person meets with me forlunch each week to discuss sales andcommunication. Another meets with meto talk about our common interestsand goals in the area of - believe itor not - moral development. I’m alsodeveloping working relationships witha number of people in the publishingindustry. I even belong to anorganization dedicated to thecontinuous moral and intellectual

development of its members. But themost personally memorable mastermindgroup I’ve been involved with was myown version of Benjamin Franklin’sJunto. This particular mastermindended up changing my life. I candirectly attribute the publishing ofmy first book to it; I’ve given over60 seminars because of the ideasgerminated there; Even myrelationships have become strongerdue to the goals I set whileparticipating in this mastermind.Pick a form of mastermind that works

and start building today. You won’tregret the effort.

“Coming together is a beginning;keeping together is progress; workingtogether is success.”- Jacob M. Braude

CHAPTER 12

A WORD OR TWO FROM MY MENTORS

I’d like to leave you with acollection of essential successsecrets I believe must be mastered ifyou ever hope to achieve enduringsuccess. Many of these are old beyond

reckoning. Some are more recent,being ideas and techniques I learnedfrom my mentors. All are valuable,and they should help bring some extraperspective to much of what we’vebeen discussing throughout thishandbook. Good luck with them.

First and foremost comes the factthat human thoughts have a tendencyto transform themselves into theirphysical equivalence. The body ofevidence supporting this statement isjust too overwhelming to ignore: Webecome what we think about.How does such a transformation take

place? “Man has a machine which heoperates,” said Maxwell Maltz in hisinteresting and provocative book,Psycho-Cybernetics. A concept Ibelieve is based on homunculus, the

little man inside, his model statesthat each of us has a goal-seekingmachine run by thought programs wedescribe as beliefs. The operation ofthis machine is simple... Know whatyou want, saturate your mind with itand proceed with faith in yourability to achieve that dream. EarlNightingale summarized the same ideawhen he said “If you believe it, youwill do it.” Think consistently aboutmeeting a particular guy or girl andyou’ll soon find yourself in thecompany of that person. Spend yourdays pining for warmer climbs and theodds are high you’ll get there.Convinced your boss has it in foryou? I can guarantee you thatmaintenance of those thoughts will,they must, make it so. Have an ideayou believe in but others think is

impossible? The moment you accepttheir views the idea will becomeimpossible for you as well. It’scalled a self-fulfilling prophecy.Your thoughts and words are commandsupon which your machine acts - chosethem carefully!Thomas Edison had to succeed in his

efforts to produce the incandescentlight bulb - because he continued hisefforts until he finally ran out ofthings that didn’t work. Hemaintained his attention, controlledhis focus and saturated his mind withwhat he wanted until, some 10,000experiments later, he finally gotwhat he set out to get. Controlledattention is the master key to yourmind.Want to succeed? Decide what you

want, then literally fill up your

mind with that vision. Give itprecedence over all other thoughts.You’ll create a dynamo, a burningdesire so strong that you’ll findyourself propelled to success inspite of all obstacles. Obsessionsare orders your machine simply can’tand won’t ignore!But why do such a thing? Why unleash

into your life a force with suchincredible momentum? Well, the answeris in the question itself. Momentum:The tendency of a body in motion to remain inmotion until acted upon by an outside force. It’san expression of the Law of Cause andEffect. Here are some otherexpressions of the same concept:Horse before cart. Match beforeflame. As you sow, so shall you reap.As you think, so shall you become.What goes around comes around. You

get out what you put in. Or, to sharemy personal favourite, the onlyrequirement for outstandingachievement is the will to do it!This is powerful information. You

can use the Law of Cause and Effectin virtually all aspects of yourlife. For example, the law impliesthat in order to get more money youmust first increase the value of yourservice. Yet that’s not the choicemost people make, is it? Most peopleact as if increased performance isdependent on getting a raise. What acrock! Money is nothing more than theharvest of your production. It’s aconvenient and universally negotiablemeasure of your service. As such, theonly thing keeping you from more ofit is your will to increase yourservice!

This isn’t a negative thing. Therevelation should be reason forexcitement. The Law of Cause andEffect tells us many importantthings: It’s never the job but theperson. It’s not your circumstancesthat keep you down but you. You’rethe only limitation, and all that’srequired for the achievement of whatyou desire is your will to do it. TheLaw of Cause and Effect implies thatwe're responsible for our lives! No one will hand us our dreams. The

Law of Cause and Effect directs us togo after what we want, to develop thewill, the desire, the obsession forthese things. It shows us that wemust act on purpose in order to getresults on purpose. The truth is, ifyou can achieve definiteness ofpurpose, you can forget just about

everything else you’ve learnedregarding success.

Purposeful actions (cause) create purposeful results (effect).

Identify the gap between where youare and where you want to be. Seeyourself getting from here to there.Build a bridge in your mind. Holdthat vision. Dwell on it. Getobsessed if you must. Send a messageyour machine can’t ignore, and itwill find a way to make what you wanta reality - of that you can beabsolutely sure. If you have faith.Faith is a prerequisite of success.

Envisioning the bridge isn’t enough.You must also believe you can buildit. You must develop a deep-seatedcertainty in the possibility of your

dream. It’s the only way you’ll evermaintain momentum when things gowrong. First conceive, then believeand you will achieve. This is so important. Really, state

of mind is everything, and you alonecontrol it. Yes, the work will behard. Getting and keeping yourselfunder control will be the mostdifficult thing you ever do. But youcan do it. As the Bible says: Faithcan move mountains.The good news is that faith can be

created and molded and wielded like asword. You see, faith comes fromseeing the positive results of causeand effect, something that derivesfrom definiteness of purpose, fromself-discipline. Learn to thinkfirst, act after. Pay attention tothe results. Do this consistently,

and faith in your ability to affectthe world will begin to grow. Afterall, events don’t just happen.There’s always an originator. Learnto identify which causes originatewith you, and which results follow.Begin to make better choices, and develop somefaith in yourself.

Build faith:

1. Get your mind around the factthat anger is a choice, that it’s somethingyou’re doing to yourself. See if youcan’t identify some more usefulchoices.

2. Recognize that all you can do in anargument is make choices about what you feel,say and do. How will these decisionsinfluence the other person in the

argument? Is this a good or a badthing? Will your actions hurt orharm? Have you considered the optionof shutting up and doing nothing?

3. The way you treat others defines who youare as a person, but it doesn’t define them orchange them or make them whatever it is you’vedecided is wrong or right about them. What kindof a person do you want to be? Whatchoices will be required of you?

4. Adversity is something that happens.There’s no rule that says you have tofocus on the costs involved. You canjust as easily choose to look forbenefits.“There really isn’t anything in this

world you can’t do something about,”Napoleon Hill wrote. “Even if it’snothing more than adjusting yourself

to it so that it doesn’t break yourheart.” That takes definiteness ofpurpose, discipline and faith. Ithink this approach to life alsorequires that you and I workintelligently instead of just workinghard. Do something for me, will you? Take

a close look in the mirror of yourenvironment. What do you seereflected there? Do you like it? Arethese the rewards you set out to get?Have you been working effectively?You can see what you’ve done for the communityby studying what the community has done for you.It’s a brutally honest measure of howeffectively you’ve been working yourdream. But also know this... You can be

happy now, no matter how messy yourlife may seem to you. It’s an inside

job; you’re the only one who candetermine what you’ll feel in anygiven situation. Got a bigcorporation trying to squeeze youout? You can increase youreffectiveness in the blink of an eye.A corporation can’t do that, can it?And isn’t that reason enough for asmile? What about the proven factthat health is a natural tendency?Doesn’t this mean the bulk of yourhealth worries can be shrugged offlike a bad dream? Or, suppose you’refeeling sorry for yourself, supposeyou’re in the midst of a pity party?Remember that action creates emotion. Allyou really need to do is jump backinto the fray. You’ll feel better inno time at all!In the end, I think this whole

successful living thing is amazingly

simple. You and I need to make acontract with ourselves. We need topromise to do what we know is right - no matterhow difficult this may seem to be, diligentlyapplying this effort to all areas of our lives for thesole purpose of becoming as valuable to society asis within our power, all-the-while recognizing thatour power is virtually unlimited. After all, ifyou don’t do what you can do, thenyou’re no better off than the personwho can’t.

Remember... The only requirement for achievement

is the will to do it.

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