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Gear Acquisition Syndrome and theFear to PhotographPeople will do just about anything to alleviate theiranxiety. During the last year of writing my doctoral thesis,the worry about being able to finish grew increasinglyheavy. The relentless grind of research, constantly beingtold that your work is inadequate, and believing that 80-hour workweeks are average has its tolls on all students.Once you reach the edge of this process and are pulverizedinto oblivion, you get a nice, shiny PhD.

You may be wondering what got me through this. The answer?Buying a ton of camera equipment. To photographers, thistype of retail therapy is known as gear acquisitionsyndrome . Someone with this syndrome impulsively buyscameras and related gear, amassing more camera gear thanthey can realistically use.

In this article, I will show how gear acquisition syndromecan alter our brain’s reward and stress systems. I willdescribe the brain regions that underlie reward processing(e.g., those erotic happy feelings related to buying, oh,say a Fujifilm X-Pro 1 with a 18mm equivalent Zeiss Touitlens, shoe mount flash, and leather case), impulse control,

and how stress causes an imbalance between the brain regionsassociated with reward and stress. I’ll also discuss howuncertainties inherent in the creative processes increasestress and how compulsively buying camera gear can serve asa coping mechanism to alleviate this anxiety. How Dopamine Modulates Reward Seeking and Impulsivity

When something rewarding or negative happens, we change ourbehaviors to increase the likelihood of reward and decreasethe likelihood of harm. This type of learning is calledbehavioral reinforcement and it is pivotal to helping humanssurvive in the world.

Much of theneuroscienceresearch on reward-based behavioralreinforcementfocuses on threebrain regions: theventral tegmentalarea (VTA), thenucleus accumbens(NAc), and theprefrontal cortex(PFC). The VTA makes and releases the neurotransmitterdopamine. Dopamine is naturally released by the VTA whensomething rewarding happens, such as scratching a winninglottery ticket, winning first place in a photo contest,eating an amazing cookie, having an orgasm…you get thepicture.

The NAc is often referred to as the reward-processing center.When the VTA is activated by a reward, dopamine is releasedin the NAc leading to a rewarding feeling. Depending on thevalue of the reward (e.g., that first click of a new cameramight be more rewarding than an orgasm for some, and vice

versa for others), the feeling can range from joy to pureecstasy.

Last, the PFC functions, in part, to control impulsivereward seeking. When a reward occurs the PFC also receivesdopamine, which increases our attention towards the eventsthat led to the reward, allowing us later to find the stuffwe know will give us happy feelings.

Although the PFC is important in locating rewards, it isalso necessary for inhibiting us from impulsively seekingthose rewards. For example, when you have a hard deadlinedue at 5PM, it’s helpful to inhibit your desire to go to abar at 9AM, make some risky bets at the dog track, and thenpass out on the bus. The PFC inhibits impulsive rewardseeking by directly modulating the NAc and VTA.

Stress affects ourdesire to seek outrewards. Whensomething stressfulhappens, the bodyresponds byreleasing stresshormones. Thesehormones arereleased throughoutthe body and brain.

Stress hormones decrease our ability to inhibit impulsivebehaviors and increase our desire to find rewards. Becauseof stress, we are sometimes unable to control desire forrewards that alleviate stress. Below, I will talk about apotential source of stress that promotes gear acquisitionsyndrome.

Fearing Creativity

What are some stressors that alter the reward-inhibitionbalance in the brain of a photographer? There are many, but

one source of stress may be from the uncertainties that arepart of the creative process. Starting a new photographyproject often means that we are entering unchartedterritory, which may bring up insecurities because we arechoosing to expose ourselves to failure.

Olivier Duong captured this well when he wrote on his photoblog:

“I then realized what was happening, I wasinsecure in my photography so I was finding it incameras. When you get a new camera you feel likeyou can take on Eugene Smith or something. Butafter the high, I needed my next fix to hide myinsecurities. That’s why I could never have enoughcameras.”

The fear to create can be debilitating and prevent one fromeven starting a new project or taking photographs. There aretwo psychological concepts that could explain this type ofbehavior. The first concept is called catastrophic thinking andthe other is anxiety-induced avoidance behavior.

Catastrophic thinking is a type of cognitive distortion inwhich someone overemphasizes the worst possible outcomeswhen starting (or thinking about starting) something new.Catastrophic thinking can contribute to stress and impedeour willingness to try something new (i.e., behavioralavoidance – discussed below). This type of thinking isdemonstrated well by photographers David Bayles and TedOrland in their book Art & Fear:

“Fears about artmaking fall into two families: fears about yourself, and fears about your reception by others…Artists quit when they convince themselves that their next effort is already doomed to fail.”

Avoidance behaviors are one way (albeit not always a healthway) to try to prevent anxiety. Generally, avoidancebehaviors occur when one is concerned about theirinabilities and others’ judgment. Again, Bayles and Orland:

“Consider that if artist equals self, then when(inevitably) you make flawed art, you are a flawedperson, and when (worse yet) you make no art, youare no person at all! Annihilation is anexistential fear: the common—but sharply overdrawn—fear that some part of you dies when you stopmaking art”

This quote highlights how someone might avoidphotography to avoid anxiety related to failure andjudgment – and how avoidance can be a maladaptivecoping mechanism because photography is generallypretty meaningful to photographers.

If the stress related to fear of failure is strong enough,it can alter the function of the reward system.Specifically, it decreases the ability to inhibit impulsesand enhances reward-seeking behavior as a way to cope withstress.

Buying Gear to Ease the Pain

Imagine that you want to start a new project but feeloverwhelmed about initiating it. Perhaps negative thoughtsstart to creep in, which creates more negative thoughts,which snowball into catastrophic thinking and avoidance. Whystart when you will expose yourself to all those feelings ofstress for what you’re sure will be failure? Instead, youmight make yourself feel better by buying a new camera,which is an easily justifiable (given that you’re aphotographer) and stress-reducing reward.

The joy of buyingnew gear is shortlived. Let’s faceit; getting used toa new toy happenspretty fast. Thisprocess is calledhabituation, whichis the simplest typeof learning. Afternew gear ispurchased wehabituate to it andthen seek newrewards that areoften bigger andbetter, which issimilar to drug abuse. Drugs induce a high, but aftercontinued use the high becomes smaller and smaller. In orderto feel the high as it once was, it’s necessary to consume agreater amount of the drug. For the photographer the high ofbuying something new will eventually lead to habituation.This may in turn lead to purchases that are more frequent orgreater in cost as a way to combat the habituation. It doesnot help that camera manufactures churn out new cameras forevery conceivable market possible and, with the help ofphotography blogs, sensationalize the new technology.There’s an endless supply of gear to buy and when acquiringgear is used to reduce anxiety, a vicious stress-rewardcycle sets in leading to gear acquisition syndrome.

Confronting the Challenge

Overcoming gear acquisition syndrome will not be easy and itis something that will have to always be attended to as aphotographer. The onslaught of new gear, choosing to create,exposing oneself to failure is difficult and buying newthings won’t solve these problems. Studies show that

spending money on objects can be very rewarding but only foran incredibly short period of time.

One way by which joy increases and is maintained is throughfinding new experiences, creating new memories and givingmeaning to those memories. An example would be going on avacation with a loved one and if you’re like me your lovedone learns to bring several books (sorry wife).

It takes courage to create and the anxiety will always bethere. Overcoming fear is part of this process and in theend finding personal success with life’s challenges isrewarding.

Hi, my name is Josh and I have gear acquisition syndrome.

http://www.joshuasarinana.com/gear-and-anxiety