Bethel Seminary

CF610 MINISTRY WITH FAMILIES: FAMILY MINISTRY PROJECTDeep[ER] Faith: Instilling a Christ-centered Family Model at BUMC

by

Jonathan J Gouthier

May 19, 2014

“Faith communities should begin where they are…intergenerationality is not a new program… it is a way of being that can be woven into the fabric of already successful activities and ministries.”1 — Allen & Ross

Where does a Church start to formulate a Family Ministry Program

when it finds itself at the crossroads of spiritual formation for

children and adults? How does a Church that once was steeped in

the ‘silo-effect’ of grade-segregated learning start a

revitalization of its programming and purpose? It must begin at

the beginning, or rather, recognize that one term has ended to

arrive at the beginning of another. Processing this change is

vitally important. As a church in transition, Bakerville UMC

(BUMC) will need to recognize it “starts with an ending, the

letting go or death of something” while allowing a time to

1 Holly Catterton Allen and Christine Lawton Ross, Intergenerational Christian Formation: Bringingthe Whole Church Together in Ministry, Community and Worship (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 2012), p. 186.

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process the “old reality and [embrace] the new promise”2 of what

is on the horizon.

For some time now, BUMC has had no children’s ministry and

its youth group has dwindled to nothingness where it may operate

only when the young adults come home from their colleges.

Bakerville is also in the midst of a pastoral change. The church

has been coasting through for the past three years. The

membership is looking forward to a breath of innovation and

inspiration within both the pulpit and the education ministry

working together to equip and empower the church. Now is the

perfect time for BUMC to become more deliberate in its ministry

presentations and expectations. BUMC may never grow or influence

the environment around them if they were to continue in the vain

of yesterday. A Family Ministry program that works in tandem with

Bakerville’s current intergenerational worship may enliven and

deepen the spiritual lives of those who attend as well as those

BUMC commissions to send. It is in “recognizing the need for

doing ministry with a fresh perspective and strategies is

critical for the church of every age, including today.

2 Michelle Anthony, Dreaming of More: For the Next Generation, Lifetime Faith Ignited by Family Ministry (Colorado Springs, CO: David C Cook, 2012), p. 175.

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Identifying new ways of conceiving and engaging in ministry in

homes, congregations, and communities is essential”3 or the

passing on of faith will become diminished.

There is an urgency to change the way ministry is carried

out at BUMC. A once vibrant community of faith has had years of

decline as a result of a beloved pastor who retired after serving

the church for 35 years and subsequent turnover of pastoral

placements within the UMC body. These events have left a core-

constituency that recognizes the ‘do-or-die’ situation—a physical

one as well as a spiritual lagging of the body. These are two of

several defined obstacles that have provided gaps within the

church’s ministry to families.4 If we are to impact community, we

need to know and experience community.

Committing to action involves an assessment by the church

to: “1) Decide what innovations are needed to move the

congregation toward a desired outcome. 2) What initial steps are

3 David W. Anderson, From the Great Omission to Vibrant Faith: The Role of the Home in Renewing the Church(Minneapolis, MN: Vibrant Faith Publishing, 2009), p. 87.4 These two outcomes were surfaced during a personal inspection on the thoughts of Family Ministry and one’s context. This alone time came during the Spring Intensives for Ministry and Families course at Bethel Seminary. Additional obstacles for BUMC that surfaced are: lack of evangelism, lack of congregational empowerment, lack of biblical knowledge by core group, lack of willingness to serve again. Family Ministry Worksheet, 2014.

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needed to gain the support and approval of legitimizers, and 3)

Deciding who should do what when.”5 Family Ministry begins with

leadership not teachers, “creating an entire culture or ethos of

integenerationality will require wise leaders who remind the

community often of the strengths, benefits and joys”6 of family

ministry across the ages. It is a top-down immersion into the

belief that families are still important to the church and

reaching out to families begins with ourselves—at home, within

the home. Clearly “leadership involves more than the office of

pastor”7 it also includes parents, grandparents, colleagues,

friends, and congregants; “it takes a faith village working

together to nurture the Christian faith, and the pastor is in a

pivotal role to help congregations and home do just that. If the

pastor doesn’t get it, you end up with just one more… program”8

and one that may be intergenerational and family oriented or not.

While the world swirling in chaos around us with questions

needing to be answered, “congregations are in a good position to

5 Merton P. Strommen, PhD and Richard A. Hardel, DMin, Passing on the Faith: A Radical Model for Youth and Family Ministry (Winona, MN: Saint Mary’s Press, 2008), p. 334.6 Catterton Allen, p. 271.7 Anderson, p.88.8 Ibid. p. 94.

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serve as catalysts to rally the whole community in developing

positive assets” for families. Bakerville has been a lighthouse

for those seeking guidance, healing and discipleship—placing the

expert advice on the church rather than equipping the family. I

personally would like to see BUMC “elevate family ministry to be

a part of how [it does] church”9 where every part of the

ministries within the church paradigm live out their faith at

home, in the family. It starts with a focus of what is “happening

at home spiritually rather than at church” where empowerment and

equipping ought to back up what is presented outside of church

walls. Allen and Ross would quickly agree with the direction of

Bakerville in stating that “building a permanent culture of

intergenerational cooperation [in family ministry] is not done

through specific events although relatively easy to do by

petitioning more programming.”10 It begins with a Christ-centered

knowing at home, church and community. It is not a new model for

ministry, but rather a new mindset. Instating a change from a

silo educational segregation to an inclusive generational

9 Mark A. Holmen, Building Faith at Home (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 2007), p. 79.10 Catterton Allen, p. 178.

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learning can be more aggressive when there is no children’s

ministry or elements of ‘Sunday School’ are in existence.

There was a time when Bakerville subscribed to the mandate

of, “To know Jesus Christ and to make Him known.” And it remains

to be the guiding force of a few in the church today. It is with

this “deep” premise for ministry that Bakerville re-center itself

to go “deep[er]” into knowing God and proclaiming His story in

and about community. “Faith communities should be intentionally

aiming in their educational and congregational life toward

growing Christians [of all ages] to a postconventional level of

faith development” that empowers the home to become a sacred

space in which to question, practice and pray. Rethinking

Bakerville’s ministry through this lens of faith + home allows

the church to focus on the spiritual formation practices and

asking “what faith skills should every family member be equipped

with to practice in their homes”11 and emulate Joshua in saying,

“as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15).

“When a church decides to become a faith [+] home driven church,

a clear vision has the potential to unite and ignite the

11 Holmen, p. 83.

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congregation”12 by affecting and engaging everyone. Bakerville’s

willingness to adopt a new model is through going ‘Deep[ER].’

Currently there is already deepness going on intergenerationally,

it is a process of digging further into “E”mpowering

“R”elationships where Deep ‘Roots’ grow deeper, Deep ‘Affection’

grows stronger, Deep ‘Coaching’ grows character, and Deep

‘Modeling’ grows into servers. The BUMC Deep[ER] Family Ministry

plan is coordinated as an internal meets external philosophy

where all participants will “learn how to verbalize their faith,

to put into words what they think and feel” in addition to where

“the goal is maturity in Christ while fulfilling the ‘one

another’ commands together” as family. These four Deep[ER]

components will provide the foundation toward a healthy church

community where “learning between families, learning between

children and other adults, learning between the very old and very

young, learning between family and all of society’s outsiders”

express the vastness of God’s love for all humanity created in

His image.

12 Ibid., p. 143.

– DEEP[ER] ROOTS –

“One of the most serious tasks of the church at large is to help its member families to bethe Body of Christ within the home – to become settings where unconditional love,

affirmation, challenge to accountability, and forgiveness are known; to learn and sharerituals, symbols, and stories of faith; to recognize and claim their special gifts and

mission in the world.”13

— Marjorie Thompson

The family, as defined by writer and humorist Erma Bombeck, “We

are a strange little band of characters trudging through life

sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts,

hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our

rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same

instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out

the common thread that binds us all together.”14 One can look

around the sanctuary at Bakerville and see families, yet with a

discerning eye it also reveals the presence of an extended family

culture. Church as family or family-centered is intentional in

the mixing of generations with emphasis on the community of faith

as the family of God.15 BUMC is sharing their lives with one 13 Marjorie Thompson, Family: The Forming Center, A Vision of the Role of Family in Spiritual Formation (Nashville, TN: Upper Room Books, 1996), p. 144.14 Erma Bombeck, Family-The Ties that Bind…and Gag! (Robbinsdale, MN: Fawcett Pub., 1988), p. 78.15 Anne-Marie Finsaas, “Models in Family Ministry.” lecture presentation, Bethel Seminary, St. Paul, MN: Spring 2014.

another meeting the needs of a variety of stages and ages. While

this is “deep” the commission to go “deep-er” awaits to become a

“Family Friendly” and “Family Empowered”16 community that can go

deeper then the everyday cares to the vulnerable portions of

one’s life while also equipping the family to live in a sacred

space at home.

In Mark 3:20-35 the narrator tells what it takes to be a

part of and belong to God’s family. Jesus provides a definition

of family that is not always physical; certainly not pious

religiosity, it is Spirit. Those sitting next to us; “our

brothers and sisters in Christ may be complete strangers… but

they will not be strangers to us in spirit if they share the

passion for the love of God,”17 no, they [we] now ‘belong.’ This

“belongingness is particularly important in the realm of

spiritual care and formation,”18 it is thicker than water—more

like blood. Scripture often refers to the body of Christ as a

family (Gal. 6:10; Heb. 2:11). And yet, “what does church as

family or church as body look like? The Apostle Paul answers with

16 Ibid.17 Thompson, p. 137.18 Catterton Allen, p. 48.

his ‘one another’ passages.”19 Be kind to one another; honor one

another; live in harmony with one another; instruct one another;

wait for one another; serve one another, carry one another’s

burdens; encourage one another and build each other up; live in

peace with each other; bear one another in love; submit to one

another (Rom. 12, 15; 1 Cor. 11; Gal. 5,6; 1 Thess. 5; Eph. 4,5).

The intergenerational congregation “family has the

extraordinary power to shape the lives of [all persons]”20 who we

extend in our ‘family’ definition; be it work, church or

neighborhood. “When God set His people Israel in order, he placed

each individual within a family, each family within a tribe, and

each tribe within the nation. No generation was excluded, no

child left out, no older person put aside… they were

community;”21 important, valued, and empowered.

Family empowered ministry will not help “to raise up a

generation of faith followers but to raise up spiritually minded

parents”22 and mentors. This initial BUMC Deep[ER] phase will

culminate in the commitment of parents to their children as the 19 Ibid. p. 115.20 Strommen, p. 7.21 Catterton Allen, p. 78.22 Anthony, p. 37.

primary spiritual leaders of the home. Bakerville will also train

mentors to model Godly actions and speak into the lives of youth

while being encouragers for the sacred space on the outside of

the church. Marjorie Thompson states: “ By far the most vital

service a congregation can provide for its families is genuine

affirmation and support for the central and irreplaceable role

that the domestic church plays in Christian spiritual formation”

by attending to the support needs of parents and mentors.

What would happen if parents could shepherd their families

in such a way that their homes were fertile soil for a revival of

His Spirit in the home?23 A restoration in the lives in those

homes would overflow into new life within the community—the

church would be transforming zip codes through Christ. It begins

by the raising up of spiritual parents and homes knowing full

well that God works through children and youth caregivers to

capture the heart and renew the minds of the next generation.

Instilling Deep[ER] Roots in the family starts with the

commitment of the caregiver(s) to the commands of God and

23 A question asked by Roy Baldwin of himself in “Are Families Still Important to the Church?” 6D Family Online, Regal Press, 2014 http://www.6dfamily.com/2014/are-families-still-important-to-the-church

accepting the challenge to raise the next generation of faithful

followers (see fig. 1 and Appendix A&B). “To support the family

in its spiritual vocation, churches [BUMC] will want to identify

and make available good resources on child rearing, home worship,

prayer, ritual, seasonal celebration, family retreats, service

opportunities and other practices fitting to family spiritual

development,”24 some of these are specifically discussed in “fig

1-4” in the Deep[ER] Family Ministry program. For BUMC, a

customizable Grow Deep[ER] mobile App will be developed to engage

the younger generation with faith in and through the home (see

Appendix C).

fig. 1: (outline of worship theme and grade oriented activities)PARTICIPANTS ACTIVITY MESSAGE OUTCOME

Pastor Sermon/Narrative Mark 3:20-35Jesus asks Who is mymother and brothers?

Teachable moment that family is anyone who believes in Jesus – Parents, Friends, and Family,Church Members. A call to commit to be Spiritual Models and Faith+Home Ministers through commitment forms.

Everyone at Any Age Worship & LearningMoment

Re-enact the Scripture read during the Sermon and present it as part of God’s

Children, Youth and Adults will learn that each person is part of God’s family. And if part

24 Thompson, p. 141.

intended plan from Creation.

of the family they have a role in it – to encourage others to share their faith.

Parents andCaregivers

Commitment asSpiritual Director

of the Home

Understand that those trusted into their care are created in the imageof God and He needs them to bring them up knowing who their“Father” is and why He came to earth.

Sign a Commitment Pledge to be a modelfor those in their care and pass on their faith at home.

Youth, Single Adults& Seniors

Commitment to be aSpiritual

Model/Mentor

To remember when a trusted person came to help through those tough moments in life and understand that children and youth today need those whoare willing to show them how to live andlove like Jesus did.

Sign a Commitment Pledge to be a modelfor those in their care and pass on their faith in community and through service projects with those they mentor.Register for Deep[ER] APP as signof commitment.

Children & Youth “Faith Box” project Experiencing God’s presence is not donejust on the weekend at a building, but can take place at any time, anywhere with anyone. This tool will help startthe conversation.

Parents and childrenwill have the ability to add provided resources to the “Faith Box” which should sit front and center within the home recognizing “Jesus as Center” Tools will help both youthand children ask questions and grow up in Faith.

– DEEP[ER] AFFECTION –

“In communicating love, words are powerful. Words of affection and endearment,words of praise and encouragement, words that give positive guidance all say, I care

about you. Such words are like a gentle, warm rain falling on the soul.”25

— Chapman & Campbell

Love is a relational activity, an emotional attachment, and a

life-giving source. “According to the scriptures, a strong, life-

shaping family needs to build and maintain two key relationships—

a strong family relationship and a strong relationship with

God.”26 The role of Bakerville is to strengthen those bonds

through communication—a “listening from the heart”—a peer-to-peer

activity. “God’s directives indicated that the generations were

intended to be mutually influenced”27 no one was to be left out

or loved out. How would Deep[ER] affection be implemented within

faith + home families? Is it more than saying, “I love you?”

Love one another as I have loved you (John 13:34, 15:12) it

is the final and lasting command of Jesus given to anyone who

follows Him. How does the BUMC congregation do this with and for

each other? The church is suppose to be family ought to succeed

25 Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, The Five Love Languages of Children (Chicago, IL: NorthfieldPublishing, 2012), p. 47.26 Strommen, p. 18.27 Catterton Allen, p. 86.

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in to loving unconditionally and authentically. But we don’t,

“the church is not suppose to be ‘like a family’; it is family.

Rather than acting like a family, we would do well to grasp the

reality that we are a family. The church must see itself as a

family and begin to conduct itself in that way, offering close,

nurturing relationships across generations”28 where love has no

strings attached.

Authentic love abides in an authentic Christian who is “real

—not perfect but honest, not deceitful but candid, not hidden …

but most of all; free to serve, free to believe and trust God,

free to live, free to love, and free to fail at it all”29 this is

the definition of unconditional. Chapman and Campbell notice this

contradiction in the genuine love for another, while the

recipient not feeling the affection.30 The Deep[ER] Love phase in

the Family Ministry program will educate children and parents

that in the act of creation, the Great I Am “is a God of life and

love. In the aftermath of the fall, it is found that he is still

a God of life and love, setting in motion his plan to redeem his

28 Scott Wilcher, The Orphaned Generation: The Father’s Heart for Connecting Youth and Young Adults to YourChurch (Chesapeake, VA: The Upstream Project, 2010), p. 49.29 Anderson, p. 52.30 Chapman, p. 27.

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image-bearers and restore his [very good] creation”31 and God

keeps communicating His love toward us through His story as it

works its way through our lives in family relationships even in

those that fail. This is the primary reason showing unconditional

love to your child (and each other) is important. “Each new arena

is a new opportunity for them [and us] to fail.”32 It is in the

valley when hearts need to be unconditionally told, “You are

loved.” An authenticity to the love being shown and the actions

behind those expressions is key to connecting “with our kids [and

others] it requires effective communication of that love”33 we

offer to one another.

The “importance of community can be built around the concept

of God’s corporate, relational nature” with the Son and Spirit.

Within this dynamic we recognize “that God created His people in

His image, that is for koinonia or ‘familyness’; they are meant

to live in relationship with a deep sense of togetherness and

belonging;” an expression of love, one for the other. How do we 31 Daniel L. Akin and Bruce Riley Ashford, “A Challenge for Our Churches,” Theology and Practice of Mission: God, the Church, and the Nations, ed. Bruce Riley Ashford (Nashville, TN: B&H Academic, 2011), p. 320.32 Dr. Kara E. Powell and Dr. Chap Clark, Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), p. 156.33 James Jackson and Lynne Jackson, How to Grow a Connected Family With Contagious Love and Faith! (Enumclaw, WA: WinePress Publishing, 2011), p. 51.

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go about expressing love? Ephesians 4:25-29 says, “speak the

truth” saying “only what is useful for building up, as there is

need.” God provides us an example of speaking into a beloved’s

life for edification and acceptance through Matthew’s baptismal

scene found in 3:17, “This is my son in whom I am well pleased.”

This Biblical image presents the ‘parent’ (or mentor) speaking

life-giving words to the ‘child’ and not because of what He has

done, it is just because of who He is that the Father accepts His

Son—He knows Him.

Love is based on knowledge. We must know those around us in

order to love them. Several authors would agree that the love-

knowledge must be exhibited through: Time, Talk and Touch. These

are the three key elements BUMC will instill in each teachable

moment created during congregational worship, learning,

communing, and fellowship. In all the church does if done without

love, the Apostle Paul says it is fruitless and is there for its

own glory (1 Cor. 13). The church needs to ask, “How am I [we]

doing to show love?” Empowering Relationships [ER] happens

through the spoken word. In them there is life or death (Prov.

18:21). ER happens through a hug and ER happens by being with

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another person. BUMC’s strength lies in being able to show and

respond to love in a non-judgmental way. Its weakness comes in

the empowering of parents with tools and training through the

Talk, Touch, Time method (see fig. 2).

fig. 2: (outline of worship theme, activities and daily faith objectives)PARTICIPANTS ACTIVITY MESSAGE OUTCOME

Pastor Sermon/Narrative Matthew 3:17The Father announcesHis Son through loveand acceptance.

Present the preciousgift of love to the congregation. Show how words and deed go together and the acceptance of a family member is notby what they do, butby who they are.

Everyone at Any Age Worship & LearningMoment

You are loved exercise; where parents “get down’ to the children and youth levels and express their sincerest love for them unconditionallyas God showed His love for the Son.

Showing and receiving love are part of God’s created humanity. Understanding how toshow and share love comes in many ways.

Intergenerational w/Pastoral Leadership

Reinforcement ofPersonal

“Milestones” in Life

Each moment of one’slife is looked upon by God as a special reason to celebrate

Chosen dates for reaffirmation through ritual of: birth, baptism, confirmation, educational achievements, etc. with a dedication celebration

Parents, Caregivers& Models

Empowering Moment:Discussion and

Learning how Talk,Touch, Time areimportant to the

faith development ofall persons

Recognizing that each child may respond to their own“love language” and to reinforce throughDeep[ER] affection how this builds up character within thechild or youth.

TALK: Have you praised someone for things done well?TOUCH: Did I expressmy affection toward someone today?TIME: Have I given time to listen to the concerns of

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another?Youth Expression of

GratitudeLove is not a one-way street, it is a conversation and when we receive loveare we grateful and respond in a way Godwould be honored?

If not done so, signup for Deep[ER] Roots APP for games,contacts, mentor moments, devotion and Honesty Questions. Message system to tell your caregivers you love them back

Children & Youth Talk, Touch, TimeReflection

Understand that the love given comes in many ways and we canexpress how we receive love best

Through the Faith Box and Deep[ER] journal, reflect on how you received love each day, writedraw, sing, express the emotion of love your way

– DEEP[ER] COACHING –

“Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by his rules Family education and order are some

of the chief means of grace.”34

— Jonathan Edwards

34 Jonathan Edwards, “Farewell Sermon,” Works of Jonathan Edwards, Vol. 1, ed. Edward Hickman ( Edinburgh, UK: Banner of Truth Trust, 1974), p. 864.

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Knowing the story of the Israelites, one recognizes that

spiritual formation does not occur as a straight line from A to

B, rather it’s a lifelong process of shaping our children’s

character (or our own) through effective discipleship. For “the

process of becoming Christlike in one’s attitudes, values,

beliefs, and behaviors… does not happen alone”35 but is being

molded and “all being formed in community into the image of

Christ”36 this requires a learning curve to be made. In

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 God is revealing His instructions for the

people of God—every individual, every tribe, every man, woman and

child. He says,

“These commandments I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress

them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along

the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands

and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on

your gates.”

35 Catterton Allen, p. 270.36 Ibid. p. 117.

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The traditional emphasis here is that caregivers37 are to be

constantly teaching children (youth, singles, seniors) at every

opportunity. Empowering others “to maturity [in Christ] is

conceptually similar to the New Testament depiction of

discipleship. Jesus gathered and trained disciples, empowering

them in turn to go therefore” and make more disciples across the

nations (Matt. 28:19-20). The Deep[ER] Coaching phase at

Bakerville follows a similar course in that “the ultimate reward

… is a relationship that grows into maturity so that when [a

child, youth, single, or senior] has been empowered, they will in

turn empower others;” BUMC’s Deep[ER] Modeling phase—service as

an intergenerational family.

The same three key elements are at work within Deep[ER]

Coaching, those of Talk, Touch and Time. The passage in

Deuteronomy emphasizes “when you” do activities together, talk

about God. It is an important factor in “passing on the faith”

from one generation to the next. The amount of “God-talk” in the

home may attribute to how faith influences the way people live

37 The term caregiver is replacing “parent” recognizing that several children and youth as well as single young adults may not have parents in the traditional sense butare living in an intergenerational home.

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their lives.38 These kinds of “God-talks” also provide for

opportunities to integrate faith and the Lord into normal

conversation, instead of falling into a forced, and maybe even

boring or religious production.39

Recognizing that caregivers may find it overwhelming as

well as provide feelings of inferiority in the “God-talk” topics,

BUMC will offer empowering tools to start the discussions for

both parent and child. This “Faith Box” created by the child can

hold worship CDs, Deep[ER] Cards that inspire “God-talk” along

with a Deep[ER] Journal with daily reflection pages for each

member of the family, and a Deep[ER] devotion guide for

caregivers to help minister to their children’s needs (see fig. 3

and Appendix D).

fig. 3: (outline of worship theme, activities and daily faith objectives)PARTICIPANTS ACTIVITY MESSAGE OUTCOME

Pastor Sermon/Narrative Deuteronomy 6:5-9Teach your child in the way he should goand he will not deviate from it. (Prov. 22:6)

God’s mandate is that the older take care of the learningof the younger through His decree to pass on one’s faith in God in the daily things of lifeand through Talk, Touch and Time.

38 Catterton Allen, p. 159.39 Powell, p. 41.

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Everyone at Any Age Worship & LearningMoment

In every moment of every day God is there and wants to be included in the family activities. It does not have to be forced, but it must be intentional

Adding scripture devotions and faith questions by all to the “Faith Box” understanding that there will be moments of failure and that is OK.

Intergenerational w/Pastoral Leadership

Reinforcement ofPersonal Faith

Devotion

Realizing God has the answer to every question and problemone might face in this life and how toexperience joy in Him

Bible dedication through bringing one’s family bible to church and have it anointed and prayed over as well as sharing a family life-verse

Parents, Caregivers& Models

Empowering Moment:Discovering How inthe Talk, Touch andTime spent can be

God-focused

Understanding that the home is the central place of worship and it is a sacred space for faith to be formed

TALK: I often discuss God things with my child or someone else?TOUCH: I have included “play” as aspiritual disciplineto experience with my child or someone else?TIME: I spend time and teach my child or someone else skills?

Youth Fun Learning Momentsand HonestyQuestions onDeep[ER] APP

The laws given are not to disappoint ornot provide fun, butare there for the care of self

TALK: Have I asked my parents about their faith?TOUCH: In what way can I get closer to my family?TIME: What would I love to involve my parents in my life through an activity?

Children & Youth The Three MostInfluential People

Recognize we need others to learn fromand to teach to

Set up a “party” with 3 people who mean the most to youand ask them to participate in a Coat of Arms Activity

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– DEEP[ER] MODELING –

“I feel identified with the reality of service. It’s become internalized. I’m not interested in the world because somebody said I should be.

I really have no choice. It’s become a part of me. It’s what I care about.”40

— Interviewee

Jesus is counting on us “to be his arms and legs, his hands and

feet, his eyes, ears and mouth to the world that desperately

needs his presence”41 here and now. He has provided an example of

God’s kingdom through his ministry—healing and helping—a

servant’s heart for mission. Jesus’ example shown during the

washing of the disciple’s feet provided a modeling moment. How do

we go into the world? In Matthew 28 (MSG), Jesus clarifies the

process, “train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of

life.” Training disciples to make new disciples requires our life

example—how we live it and how we trust God through it. Going

through the everyday motions of Deep[ER] Coaching, caregivers

will intentionally “model a Spirit-led lifestyle for their

children”42 and encouraging them to take on the “new person”

offered in Jesus Christ (Eph. 4:24; Col. 3:1-4). Other adults are

40 Quote from Common Fire story presented in: Strommen, p. 188.41 George Barna, Turning Vision into Action (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 1996), p. 115.42 George Barna, Revolution (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2005), p. 26.

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often able to speak into a young person’s life in a way that the

caregiver(s) cannot. In BUMC’s Deep[ER] Modeling phase it is

presented as a way for intergenerational relationships to

flourish and missional serving to occur within community—

practicing the ‘faith-coached way of life.’

Empowered Relationships is the central element in BUMC’s

model of Family Ministry. Jesus came to empower others to have an

abundant life and it happens through community, “his model for

human relationships shows that empowering entails serving

others”43 an extension to the family. God’s design for the family

is to be a disciple-making (Deep[ER] Coaching) center, where

everyone learns what it means to serve the Lord and then reach

out and help others see what a life committed to God is all

about. That family can be a strategic vehicle for transforming

the world. Where intergenerationally, all “learn how to hold

convictions, solve problems, and communicate a biblical worldview

in a way that advances God’s kingdom in the home, neighborhood,

43 Jack O. Balswick and Judith K. Balswick, The Family: A Christian Perspective on the Contemporary Home (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2007), p. 115.

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school, and the world”44 this takes life examples in order to

follow the Master. Practicing faith teaches that it is real.

Action puts the traction on faith—it becomes practical.

James 2:14 asks the question, “What good is it, my bothers, if a

man claims to have faith but has no deeds?” He answers his own

question by stating, “As the body without the spirit is dead, so

faith without deeds is dead.” The practical side of faith through

family action is necessary in order for all to grow together,

deeper for the “goal is maturity in Christ while fulfilling the

‘one another’ commands together;”45 creating a movement that

brings faith home and home to faith. When faith is practiced or

acted on it begins to live in the hearts of those involved and

they “see that the church must serve the gospel, rather than the

gospel serving the church.”46

Intentional modeling, or as James Jackson would call it,

“proaction,” requires caregivers to demonstrate what it means to

be a human being created to be a blessing to others.47 Being

44 Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN, The Family Challenge: Passing the Faith from Your heart to Theirs (Lawrenceville, NJ: National Center for Biblical Parenting, 2012), p. 22.45 Catterton Allen, p. 187.46 Anthony, p. 188.47 Jackson, p. 99.

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intentional about putting feet to faith is the premise for the

Deep[ER] Modeling phase of BUMC’s Family Ministry program. It

would entail a Service Sunday Project where mentors come

alongside mentees, families along with singles and young

intermingled with seniors to spread the light of Christ into the

surrounding neighborhood. Traditionally as with many other

churches, Bakerville saw its job in offering “worship, education

and fellowship opportunities. The assumption was that what people

did with those experiences was up to them”48 with Deep[ER]

Modeling, the faith of the family is taken out into community as

the hands and feet of Christ while instilling in the participants

the meaning of “the way, the truth, the life” (John 14:6) and

instructs how to follow in that way (see fig. 4).

fig. 4: (outline of worship theme, activities and daily faith objectives)PARTICIPANTS ACTIVITY MESSAGE OUTCOME

Pastor Sermon/Narrative John 13:1-17The example Jesus shows His disciples is one of a servant nature both in heartand in action

The announcement that there will be instated a Service Sunday Project wherethe worship time will be replaced with the congregation going out into community to serve others.

Everyone at Any Age Worship & Learning The story we hold Signing up and

48 Anderson, p. 114.

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Moment inside is not meant to stay there, it isfor us to go out andtell it to others through our own lifeexperiences and faith formation at home

selecting a service project to participate in each month

Intergenerational w/Pastoral Leadership

To Serve and Not tobe Served

Understanding that it is better to givethan receive – love for it to grow must be passed on to another

During Service Sunday Projects, a community lunch willbe prepared for “family” to grow together through serving another

Parents, Caregivers& Models

Empowering Moment:Why Talk, Touch and

Time spent withFamily Creates aStrong Faith

Moving outside the walls of the home and church can bringfamilies together through working withone another we get to “know” the other

TALK: Have I asked my child or someone else what they like to do?TOUCH: Am I willing to work alongside someone I do not know in order to getto know them?TIME: Am I a good example to my children or someone else?

Children & Youth Service Project withMentor(s)

How faith put to feet can impact the lives around us

TALK: Have I asked my Mentor about their faith?TOUCH: What can I dofor another?TIME: Can I express to another what I like to do and ask them to join me?

Deuteronomy 6:5 starts out by saying, “Love the Lord

your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all

your strength.” It prioritizes one’s relationship with God, and

then share that love for God with family and friends in every day

life. The hopeful results in gathering the BUMC congregation and

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taking them on a Deep[ER] journey in “Knowing Christ and making

Him Known” with 50, 100, or even 200 of their closest friends,

which they would call family. Intentionally integrating faith

into ordinary life is the ultimate goal. How this looks may be

different from family to family, but going from deep to deeper is

the challenge of passing on faith from one generation to the

next.

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BIBLIOGRAPHY

Aiken, Daniel L. and Bruce Riley Ashford. “A Challenge for Our Churches,” Theology and Practice of Mission: God, the Church, and the Nations, ed. Bruce Ashford (Nashville, TN: B&H Academic, 2011.

Anderson, David W. From the Great Omission to Vibrant Faith: The Role of the Home in Renewing the Church. Minneapolis, MN: Vibrant Faith Publishing, 2009.

Anthony, Michelle. Dreaming of More: For the Next Generation, Lifetime Faith Ignited by Family Ministry. Colorado Springs, CO: David C Cook, 2012.

Baldwin, Roy. “Are Families Still Important to the Church?” 6D Family Online, Regal Press, 2014. http://www.6dfamily.com/2014/are-families-still-important-to-the-church.

Balswick, Jack O. and Judith K. Balswick. The Family: A Christian Perspective on the Contemporary Home. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2007.

Barna, George. Revolution. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2005.

____________. Turning Vision into Action. Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 1996.

Bombeck, Erma. Family:The Ties that Bind–and Gag! Robbinsdale, MN: Fawcett Pub., 1988.

Catterton Allen, Holly and Christine Lawton Ross, Intergenerational Christian Formation: Bringing the Whole Church Together in Ministry, Community and Worship. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 2012.

Chapman, Gary and Rose Campbell. The Five Love Languages of Children. Chicago, IL: Northfield Publishing, 2012.

Edwards, Jonathan. “Farewell Sermon,” Works of Jonathan Edwards, Vol. 1,ed. Edward Hickman. Edinburgh, UK: Banner of Truth Trust, 1974.

Finsaas, Anne-Marie. “Family Ministry Worksheet,” Ministry and Families Through the Life Cycles. Bethel Seminary Intensives (Spring2014), handout.

_________________. “Models in Family Ministry,” Ministry and Families Through the Life Cycles. Bethel Seminary Intensives (Spring 2014), lecture presentation.

Holmen, Mark A. Building Faith at Home. Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 2007.

Jackson, James and Lynne Jackson. How to Grow a Connected Family With Contagious Love and Faith! Enumclaw, WA: WinePress Publishing, 2011.

Powell, Dr. Kara E. and Dr. Chap Clark. Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011.

Strommen, PhD., Merton P. and Richard A. Hardel, DMin. Passing on the Faith: A Radical Model for Youth and Family Ministry. Winona, MN: Saint Mary’s Press, 2008.

Thompson, Marjorie. Family: The Forming Center: A Vision of the Role of Family in Spiritual Formation. Nashville, TN: Upper Room Books, 1996.

Turnansky, Dr. Scott and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. The Family Challenge: Passing the Faith from Your Heart to Theirs. Lawrenceville, NJ: National Center for Biblical Parenting, 2012.

Wilcher, Scott. The Orphaned Generation: The Father’s Heart for Connecting Youth and Young Adults to Your Church. Chesapeake, VA: The Upstream Project, 2010.

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APPENDIX A(adopted from Keith Lowry and Texas Baptists Church)

PARENT’S COMMITMENT

I commit that I will work to be a model parent and caretaker,

taking responsibility for the spiritual growth of my children,

modeling what it means to make God’s Word the plumb line for our

lives, and seeking to make Christ the center of all I do.

Admitting I cannot do this in my own strength, I ask you, Father,

to fill me with your Hoy Spirit and empower me, as your child, to

be the parent you desire for me to be. Remembering Father, that

“He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless” (Isa.

40:29), I come to you today seeking that power that only you can

give. I entrust my family to you, Father. Mold me and make me

into the parent and caregiver you need me to be.

AMEN.

Signed Date

Signed Date

APPENDIX B(adopted from Hope for Tomorrow)

MENTOR/MODELER COMMITMENT

I commit as a Mentee/Mentor (modeler) participant in the

Bakerville Deep[ER] program, agree to and will support to keep

the conversations with my Mentor/Mentee confidential. I commit to

making all monthly Service Sunday Projects and meetings with

Mentor/Mentee. I commit to engaging in active listening skills

including Talk, Touch and Time. I commit to providing direct,

respectful and honest feedback and I understand that I am

responsible for my own personal and spiritual formation. Lord,

with your help, may I come alongside someone in need to serve and

encourage him or her through the trials and triumphs that come.

AMEN.

Signed Date

APPENDIX C(hypothetical mobile APP for youth engagement)

MENUEdit profile

Add MentorsAdd Mentees

FAITH TREETrack formation

through the additionof “leaves” and

“special” faith icons“Roots” will grow based

on faith responses toHonest Deep Questions

(HDQ’s) Additionallythis game features“spiritual” warfare

“dark” objects that one

FAITHCULTIVATIONParents can pose

questions, God-talk orfaith ideas to the

child’s tree in order forit to grow IF the youthcompletes the task or

engages inconversation

Parents can access“Tree” faith tools

TALKMentors and parents can pose discussion questions and Youth may message their friends from within theDeeper APPAll messaging is pushed to parents and mentor email for monitoring language and discussions, but

TOUCHProvides a “family” reminder of programs and projects that require the youth to beinvolved hands on withthe family

TIMETracks the Service Sunday activities of theyouth and is linked to the Deeper Journal for images and content writing. Calendar and ideation notes are available for Service project conceptsMission trips would

DAILY DEVOA scripture verse attached to a faith lesson

GOD’s HEARTA promise to remember from God’s word about you (heart will beat when a new promise is posted)

CUSTOMIZABLE FRIEND ICONS AND TREE LEAFSYouth can customize leafs (which represent faith disciplines completed) and animal icons (which represent friends along on the journey) Click on leaf to find out what faith or God-talk was done and

APPENDIX D

FAITH BOX REFELECTION(adopted from Ingnatius of Loyola’s Examination of Consciousness)

1. Ask God to be with you.2. Recall the events of the day for which you are thankful.3. Review the day and notice God’s presence in the day; seeking

awareness of where you accepted (or did not accept) God’sgrace.

4. Ask forgiveness for any sins.5. Ask for the grace to follow God more closely during the

following day.

DEEPER FAITH STATEMENTS: TALK, TOUCH, TIME(adopted from Keith Lowry and Texas Baptists Church)

The scoring is not meant for admitting failure or success, it isa way to keep faith strong in the home. Place a score next toeach question and rate them as follows:1=Mostly False 2=Somewhat False 3=Undecided4=Somewhat True 5=Mostly True

LOVING How am I doing?I praise my children for things they do well.I express affection to my children.I tell my children they are special to me.I have a close bond with my child.I tell my children I am proud of them.I carefully listen to my children express their concerns.I point out qualities in my children that I like about them.

COACHING How am I doing… what does my child need?I often discuss God things with my child.My child and I often do things together.I schedule time to spend with my child.I teach my child skills and about my faith.I take an active role in my child’s faith development.

I am involved in my child’s life.My children and I have fun together.

MODELING How am I doing… on a daily basis?I am a good Godly example to my children.I try not to vary too much how I deal with my children.My children know what to expect from me.I know what to do in a family crisis.I am predictable and honest in the way I relate to my children.I model Jesus’ behavior I want my children to perform.I seek God and am level-headed during a crisis.

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