College of William & Mary Law SchoolWilliam & Mary Law School Scholarship Repository

Student Newspaper (Amicus, Advocate...) Archives and Law School History

1993

Amicus Curiae (Vol. 3, Issue 9)

Copyright c 1993 by the authors. This article is brought to you by the William & Mary Law School Scholarship Repository.https://scholarship.law.wm.edu/newspapers

Repository Citation"Amicus Curiae (Vol. 3, Issue 9)" (1993). Student Newspaper (Amicus, Advocate...). 327.https://scholarship.law.wm.edu/newspapers/327

Top 10 reasons M- W profs deserve raises, page 10

AMFJUCA'S FIRST LAW SCHOOL

VOLUME III, ISSUE NINE

Charles speaks at W &M's Charter Day

By ANDREW SMITH

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 22,1993 TWENTY PAGES

La t Saturday, Feb. 13, Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wale Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick and Baron Renfrew Lord of the Isles, and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland wowed a standing­room-onJy crowd of more than 10,000 in William and Mary Hall. After all of the media's recent di paraging remarks about the Royal Family-And Prince Charles in partirular-the audience in the Hall seemed disarmed, and pleasantly

the Hall on Saturday morrring, they found it decked out with two huge television screens, enormou replicas of King William, Queen Mary and the coats of arms of the College, and an elaborate stage large enough to hold the William and Mary Concert Band and Choir and about o deans, visitors, and other dignitary-types. The morning-long Charter Day ceremony began more or lesson schedule at 10:30 a.m., with the presenting of the colors by "The Queen's Guard, ' a group of W&M ROTC undergraduates disguised in red uniforms and enormou beaver-skin bats.

Prince Charles addresses the tanding-room-only crowd at William and Mary Hall on W&M's 300th Anniversary.

Following the processional were an invocation by Bruton Parish Rector Rev. Richard L. urprised, by hi quick, witty

and somewhat Jf-deprecating manner. Next e a ritab ocean

facultyand graduating students, which lasted for an entire half­h urwhile the choir and concert band performed what seemed Ilk 300 roun of the William and Mary Hymn, throughwhich

the audienceoflO,OOOwasasked to stand. This Chinese-water­torture portion of the ceremony ended wirh the singing of 'God Save the Que n·' and ··the :>tar See UP CIlUCK~ pa~e 20

As the audience filtered into of regalia, the processional of Spangled Banner."

Residence Life to evict law school squatters By JOI-lN CROUCH

Law students in the Graduate Complex had better pack their bags and start looking for landlords. Only 47 current residents can live there next year, said Residence Life's Assistant Director JerryJ Briggs. They will get rooms in a lottery in late.March, April or perhaps even later.

Briggs spoke to a meeting of residents in the complex's lounge Monday night. He said that anyone who requests housing and pays a deposit of about $200 will be entered in a lottery. The lud..-y 47 students may ' squat' in their apartments or request new ones. Residence Life wants student advice on whether people should apply individua11yorin apartment groups, but it dreads the complexity of offering both options. Many of those who lose out in the lottery will be offered rooms in late spring or summer.

Students present were concerned about the fact that while it is hard to get into the complex, 36 rooms are empty, especially those reserved for business and education students. By the time they are offered to law students, theywiIJ already have signed leases elsewhere. Everyone hoped deadlines for housing new students would be set as early as possible. Briggs emphasized that Residence Ufe officials had to confer

with deans at Marshall-Wythe and other graduate programs before they could begin to set deadlines.

Several residents thought they should get some kind of preference for next year. Tim Singhel (lL) pointed out that , the reason we're here is that we made our deposits on time' and stuck with

commitments to live at the complex, while many first-years backed out or applied at the last minute. Current residents would be more certain to fill rooms, rather than leaving matters in flux.

Dean Connie Galloway cautions that lL no-shows may not be a major cause of the empty room problem. A more direct

cause, she suggests, is the strict allocation of rooms between various graduate schools. Briggs told the meeting that the $200 deposit should help deter no-shows and reduce the applicant pool to people who are seriously interested.

See CRUNCH, page 12

Consumer education burdens students

Robert H. Atwell, President -Paula HfUIlUlford of the American Council on Education.

By PAULA HANNAFORD A day-long conference held

at William and Mary Hall Feb. 11 and sponsored by W &M's Thomas Jefferson Program in Public Policy focused on the changing nature of liberal arts education in America. A debate moderated by Roger Mudd, television journalist and Carter Lowance Fellow at M-W, ended the conference and was taped by PBS for possible future broadcast this spring.

The conference focused primarily on the changing definition of liberal education, and its implications for the future.

Like many of the presentations made during the conference, the panel discussion was marked by a lack of co nsensus. The panelists disagreed on the purpose, the

See STUDENTS, page 4

--- Inside this issue • Absurd research tips Page 10.

• SMH fires back Page 2.

• Crossfire Gays in the military. Page 8.

• Trading Cards: Flamboy­ant personalities of M-W. Page 11.

2 ===================================== Monday, February 22,1993 THE Awcus Cu!uAE

Out of Our Heads Does OCPP really need to be renamed? 2L rep Gina Love

and Dean Robert Kaplan seem to think that M -W students are under a mistaken impression about the role of OCPP. ''It's really more of a guidance office than a placement office." says Love (see story on page 3). These labels are a distinction without substance.

Few M -W students operate under any gross misperceptions of what OCPP is capable of doing. Regardless of the label we put on the door, Dean Kaplan supposed to assist students in obtaining employment. Constantly reminding us of the limitations inherent in a "placement" or "guidance" office obscures the real issue: The office is under-staffed and students are resentful that no one is making efforts to change the situation.

No reasonable student expects Dean Kaplan to go out, find her the perfect job and drop a notice in her hanging file. M -W students aren't averse to hard work when it comes to job search. What frustrates most of us is the futility of many job searches in such a tight market.

OCPP does not need a name change or an image change. It needs to double its staff -ize. Dean Kaplan and Linda Spalding work hard and do their jobs well. However, a law school this size cannot make do with a career staff of two people. At a bare minimum, M-W needs another full time administrator who will go out and sell this school to potential employers. We need an assistant Dean with a televangelist'S mentality who will spread the gospel about M-W, whether firms want to hear it or not.

THE AMICUS CURIAE MARsHAlL-WYI1IE ScHOOL OF L.\w

"Dedicated to the complete and objective reporting of student news and opinion"

Editor-in-Chief: Kevin Kroner Managing Editors: Leeanne Morris, Marc Bernstein Production Editor: Debbi Holmes Assistant Editors: Megan Kelly, Paula Hannaford

News Reporters: John Crouch Bob Dickinson Shelley Evans Paula Hannaford John Lohmann Margret Hardy Doug Miller Kirstin Mueller Sarah Newman Vanessa Peterson Tobin Roth J acalyn Scott Andrew Smith

Features Reporters: Bob Dickinson M.A. Donald Alan Duckworth Peter Dutton Rachel Gluckman Brett Johnson Bill Madigan Phil Nugent Andrea Phelps Jeffrey Regner Steven Youngkin

Sports Gurus: Eric Cha&'>e, Bill Madigan Photographers: Teresa Brazzel, Kyle Short, Kirstin Mueller Production Assistant: Brett Loney Cartoonists: Bob Dickinson Jeff Regner, Josh Sacks Midwestern Correspondent: David Ziemer Renaissance Woman: Dee Cohen and Farrah Fawcett-Majors as Jill Munroe

Editorial Policy The letters and opinion pages of the A micus Curiae are

dedicated to all student opinion regardless of form or content. Every student viewpoint can find a place in this publication, in accordance with our motto. Opinion articles are not edited for content, only spell checked.

Letters to the Editor are not intended to reflect the opinion of the newspaper or its staff. All letters to the Editor should be submitted by 5 p.m.on the Wednesday prior to publication.

We cannot print a letterwithout confirmation of the author's name. We may, howev,er, withhold the name on request.

Letters over 500 words may be returned to the writer with a request that they be edjted for the sake of space.

FroIn the Editor's Desk ... In a memo to Faculty

Academic Status Committee Chair Trotter Hardy, the SBA recently requested the faculty to reconsider its policy on exam scheduling. Although many students have requested a school-wide referendum as a means of forcing the issue, the SBA offered a proposal and a polite request that the faculty consider acting on its own in response to overwhelming student opinion.

In other words, Cartee and the SBA have given the faculty a chance to be responsive to student concerns without feeling like they have been forced to act.

The first proposal in the memo would make exam schedules available at registration so students can take exam-timing into account when signing up for classes. The SBA has also made an alternative proposal which releases the exam schedule just prior to the Add\Drop period.

As the memo explains,

To the Editor: Regarding your article

" Alumni Rate Bar Review Courses:" (February 8, 1993) I applaud your attempt to give students more information about the bar exam and bar review process. However, there were several items in your article about the SMHcourse that were blatantly incorrect. I hope that the students that read that article will read this so that any misconceptions are avoided.

1) It was stated in the article (fourth column) that "SMH ... did not use any old bar exam questions.' This is incorrect. SMH students:

a) Receive a full volume set of pa t Virginia essay que tions containing over 360 pa t essay questions (18 full exams). If someone claims otherwise, they must not have attended cla .

b) SMH reviews, in class, past essay questions for every subject area on the essay portion of the bar exam. This helps us teach students how the bar examiners tend to test specific areas and points.

c) Every student in last summer's course was provided with the actual exams and suggested answers to the most recent Virginia bar exams, inc.Iuding the immediately preceding three exams. This is a part of our standard practice.

2) In that same column it was

student opinion on this issue is overwhelming. Members of SBA report that most students favor making exam schedules available prior to registration. Perhaps more importantly, even studentsindifferentto the policy do no accept the justifications for the current system.

The first justification is potential conflicts. However, Dean Galloway has said the added conflicts would not be unmanageable, she does not oppose the idea.

The only other justification is that students shouldn't choose classes based on exam timing.

At the risk of sounding rude, M-W faculty get paid to teach, not to make sched uling choices. If a student picks his classes based on the color of the professor's hair, he has paid tuition for the right to do so. Quite frankly, it is none of the faculty's businesswhywe choose the classes we do. Obviously, there is always an altruistic tendency of the faculty to look out for our best interests, and,

Letters said that someone in SMH management said the tapes were three years out of date. This is 100% false. (I do not know who the gentleman in the article spoke to, but the information he received was incorrect.) Every lecture and every subject is exami ned before each bar review administration to ensure that it is up to date substantively, and reflects the trends on the bar exam.

For example: a) Multistate Questions

Workshops (the six we include in the classroom portion of the course) are pretaped in the Spring prior to the summer course to retlect the most current law and testing patterns.

The same procedure is foUowed for substantive lectures in subject area that change frequently, such as Con titutional Law and Criminal Procedure.

b) For Virginia Es-ay Classes, each class i looked at eparately and many are

delivered via live lecture or" hot tape' (i.e., taped live in the same summer duplicated and distributed to course location immediately) to ensure currency.

c) The oldest lecture used for either Multistate or Virginia course is less than one year old,

See 8MH, page 16

most of the time, the concern is appreciated. However, in this case, the benevolence has turned to paternalism.

Furthermore, as Cartee states in the memo, " ... nostudent whom I questioned stated that the exam schedule [alone] would be a determinative factor in making course choices." It seems that any paternalistic attitude the faculty may have in mind, has no ba is in fact.

On more than one occasion, the M-W faculty has been accused of being unre ponsive to student opinion until the school is on the verge of a bloody coup. Now, Cartee and the SBA have presented the faculty with a perfect opportunity to do the right thing. No one seems to have a realistic objection and support for the change is clear.

We urge the faculty to seize the initiative on this issue, and formulate a policy which is in line with student opinion. Such a move is a chance to create an image of being responsive to student needs and concerns.

To the Editor: J wanted to respond to the

article concerning the relative strengths between SMH and Bar/Bri which appeared in last week's Amicus. J believe that the story was one- ided against SMH, and this is coming from an individual quoted as a "disgruntled SMH participant." I want to first set the record straight a to my "disgruntledne&s," and second to put some sense and balance into the choice between SMH and Bar/Bri, something I believe your article lacked.

J was somewhat disgruntled with SMH. I was a recent graduate readying myself for by bar, and I was nervous. When I came across que stions or problems, I complained, and loudly. Had I taken Bar/Bri I imagine I would have found a multitude of thing to wmplain about al o. The article over tates however, my di -appointment. Further, it states that I was told that some tapes were three years out of date. If I had a complaint wncerning a tape, one of the re:,,--ponses wa that a new tape was being made. I don t believe I wa ever told that the one I was watching was three years out of date.

The article, however, was

See ALUM, page 5

Monday, February 22,1993 THE AMICUS C URIAE =========================================== 3

Bonifaz challenges constitutionality of election laws By TOBIN ROTH

"It is time to re-examine the long­held assumption that public elections can be privately financed." This was the message of John Bonifaz, staff attorney' with the Center for R esponsive Politics, in his address Tuesday, Feb. 16, sponsored by the Law School Speakers Forum. The Center was founded by two U.S. Senators in 19 3 as a non-partisan, non-profit organization for monitoring politics on the federal level. A graduate of Brown B.A.) and Harvard Law School, Bonifaz spoke to a crowd of -0 law, undergraduate, and high school students, on both the current financing cri is in federal campaigns and h is organization's legal theories in seeking reform.

Democratic parti es engage in such tactics, said Bonifaz, to the extent that in 1990 individual contributions totalled $249 million, while the PACs only offered $159 million. According to Bonifaz, this impressive flowofprivate money corrupts the legislative process to the ex1ent that our tax structure is one in which the top one percent do not pay their fair share.

Citing figures that the average expenditure for a House of Representatives campaign in 1990 was $-28,000, and $2.7 million for a 1990 Senate race, Bonifaz declared that the American political system had become one in which "you must pay to play. He was further troubled by the social inequity withi n the campaign contribution structure, pointing out that the political actioncomrnittees (PACs) of the business community outspent labor PACs three to one in 1990 ($109 million to $37 million). This amounts to a domination by monied interests which taints fairness in OUI democratic process, he said.

BUIliia£, however, pointed to individual contributions as the "principal problem," particularly the " soft money" which private donors give to political parties which is not restricted by FEC regulations. Both the Republican and

The idea that a new President or a new Congress could remedy the situation is unrealistic, said Bonifaz. Declaring that "change comes with a fight," and using examples of the civil rights and labor struggles, Bonifaz embraced a reform movement based on the legal theory that money does not coincide with a right to vote. In particular, he spoke of a constitutional challenge to federal election laws with the argument that wealth in the political arena can be a suspect class subject to strict scrutiny.

Bonifaz pointed to several Supreme Court cases which support his position that wealth is not to be a determinative factor in an election, such as those striking down poll taxes and prohIbiting excessive candidate filing fees. The speaker also mentioned the case of Reynolds v. Sims (1964), which found the dilution of votes in certain schemes to be unconstitutional, and the redistricting cases of the 19705, that established the right to vote as a meaningful vote and not simply pulling the lever. This holding was later codified in the 1982 amendments to the Voting Rights Act. In essence, Bonifaz's theory focused upon the effect of the current finance structure and its effect on minorities and those wishing to vote for challengers (since the current system

Scott Drabenstadt (lL) and Dee Cohen (3L) welcome John Bonifaz, center, as guest of the Law School Speakers Forum ..

favors the incumbent). Bonifaz cited the 1976 case of Buckley

v. Va/eo as his biggest challenge because the Court held there that money is speech and thus the spending of money is protected by the First Amendment. Bonifaz lamented that this decision had put the election process up for sale, using Ross Perot as an example. In the alternative, he advocated a " time, place, and manner," regulation as endorsed by the Supreme Court in Kovacs v. Cooper (1949). There, an ordinance restricting noise from trucks was upheld on the principle that there is no right to drown out the voice of others.

In the question-and-answer session which followerl , Bonifaz clarified his alternative campaign finance model. He argued that a public financing scheme for campaigns should be implemented whereby all oontributions are paid into a national fund. From that fund, the money would then be divided equally among

each incumbent and challenger. In addition, if any candidate received free publicity or independent publicity then his opponent would be compensated from

. the general fund for the value of that publicity. As for the problem of "soft money" contributions, this could be remedied by prohibiting donations at certain times, said Bonifaz.

Afterwards, student reaction was one of partial agreement. Bill Kennedy (lL) said that while he agreed campaign finance reform is needed, it should be implemented on a local, not federal level. Kennedy found the idea of public financing to be reminiscent of the failed Soviet Union. From a different perspective, SuJui::;h nadve Karen Scott found the talk interesting and agreed that such reform was needed. The Drapers' Scholar added, however, that she was cynical about the likelihood of such change in a country where politics is such "big business."

Kaplan welcomes student suggestions for oepp By DOUG MILLER

A change of perception is needed for the under-funded, space-squeezed Office of Career Planning and Placement, according to research compiled by an SBA committee appointed to investigate criticism of the office in last semester's student survey. Gina Love and LaUIa Livaccari, (2Ls) who headed the effort, reported their conclusions after a quick survey of the second- and third-year classes and a two-hour meeting with Associate Dean Robert Kaplan who heads the office.

At the heart of most complaints, according to the co-chairs, is a misunderstanding about the role of OCPP. " It probably ought to be renamed," said Love. "It's really more of a guidance office than a placement office. But the perception among a lot of students is that its primary function is finding jobs for students."

Kaplan, who uses the term Career Services, described the role of the office as collaborative. 'We're here to assist students in obtaining employment and educating themselves about their options," he said.

A new program, featuring students who have found jobs in non-traditional

ways, is one project that arose from the exchange. Uvaccari said the meeting will offer job-hunting students advice and encouragement from 2Ls and 3Ls who used networking, informational interviewing and other means to land summer and full-time work. Kaplan acknowledged the usefulness of such a program but pointed out similar efforts have been less than successful. "Last week we had a program on informational interviewing and networking. I had four students who had found jobs that way to illustrate how effective it can be. Not a single student showed up. It was just me and the four presenters."

Despite the apathetic response, Kaplan expressed a willingness to work with anyonewhowants help. " I welcome ' student input," he said. "I know things could be better, and I am happy to consider change if we can reach a consensus from the students that change is needed."

Also in the works is a summer mailing to rising 2Ls and 3Ls which would list the scheduled fall campus employers. According to Livaccari, the mailing "will give students a chance to research the firms over the summer and decide which ones they are most interested in

interviewing with." The real focus will be to cut down on

one of the most frequently mentioned problems at OCPP: indiscriminate resume dropping by those at the top of the class which deprives lower-ranked students of the chance to interview on campus. Although OCPP has a policy regarding over-dropping, it is only informally enforced. Many students perceive that violators are selectively, and weakly, reprimanded. Kaplan acknowledged the problem and said he had considered other means of enforcement, including a flat limit on the number of on-campus interviews. "But! think the current system gives us needed flexibility," he said. Kaplan also questioned whether limiting the top students would result in a " trickle down effect." "We ask all on-campus interviewers to name alternates in case someone drops out but only about ten percent do." He added, "even when we call them to ask for additional names, most decline." They choose instead to reduce the number of interviews.

Kaplan acknowledged a perception among many students that the office concentrates too much on large law firms

to the exclusion of other sources of employment. He said much of the outreach to other employers goes on over the summer and behind the scenes. "We send targeted mailings to every federal government agency, every law firm with fewer than 25 lawyers in several surrounding states, many public service employers and state governmental agenciesaswell." Afterfollow-up, those that express interest are added to the appropriate board for direct contact, group mailing or on-campus interviews.

Many of the concerns expressed by students were beyond the control of OCPP staff, according to Love. "A lot of the issues and complaints had to do with limited funding and staffing at the office," she said. "Things like more space for research, more computers and software, and additional staff support, all require lobbying at the Law School, College and State level for more money."

According to Livaccari, the office is understaffed by nearly one full-time position. "Most law schools of this size have at least three full-time employees in career services," she said. BothLivaccari and Love praised Kaplan for the amount of work that is accomplished in the office.

4 =================================================================== Monday, Febnwy 22,1993 THE AMIcus CuRIAE

=========Law Watch By JOHN CROUCH AND

MARGARET HARDY CHURCH 1, STATE 0: Alexandria's federal judge Claude Hilton ruled that Fairfax County could not charge churches more than other groups that meet in its school buildings. Hoping to avoid establishment by pushing churches to build their own buildingsquicJdy, the county had charged Fairfax Covenant Church five times what other groups paid. (WashingtonPost). SUBSIDIES AREN'T FREE: $1 billion in tax breaks General Motors got from Ypsilanti, Mich., imply a contract binding GM to keep a plant there open, said Circuit Judge Donald Shelton. GM will appeal and plans to close the plant, eliminating 4,500 jobs. (USA Today). LAWYER MUST DIE: An Amarillo jury sentenced lawyer George Lott to death for killing two lawyers and wounding a judge in a courtroom shooting spree which he hoped would draw attention to the legal system's injustice and the difficulties of divorce. (Washington Post). C 0 U R T ROO M INNOVATION S: A New Bedford, Mass., court allowed Robert Kosilek to dress as a

woman at his trial for killing his wife. In Greensboro, N.C., federal judge Bill Ostean is experimentally letting jurors question witnesses. In Georgia, "pale and bloated" pro se plaintiff Ann McCauley has asked the Gwinnett County Superior Court to let her make her case wearing her plastic oxygen tent. She says alJ exterminator gave her multiple c~emical sensitivity syndrome. (Na-tional Law Journal). TOP TH[S, DEVINS: A moot court at Vanderbilt acquitted Eve of possessing a prohibited substance, despite the best efforts of God, the prosecution's star witness, played by Professor MaggieHoward. (USA Today). ASTUTE JURORS: A Lexis/ National Law Journal poll of 800 former jurors found that 51 percent distrusted police officers' testimony, and 61 percent would convict the officers who beat Rodney King. (Washington Post). WITH EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART: A federal appeals court has ruled a man can sue Baxter Healthcare Corp. because his heart valve, which Baxter manufactured, is too noisy. A lower court had ruled against the man, saying thevalve was still working after 5 years and its noise was an unavoidable

side effect. The appeals court agreed the unit was not defective, but allowed the case based on whether the man should have been warned about the noise. (Wall Street Journal) . CIA GAYS: The D.C. Circuit let the CIA fire an agent for "clandestine" homosexuality without giving him a hearing or even any reason. The court saw no evidence of a general anti­gay policy, but said the National Security Act authorized one, and that it would be rationally related to preventing blackmail. (U.s. Law Week) . [LLEGAL "STAY" COMMAND: Virginia's Court of Appeals ruled that a policeman who told a man to stay in his car for no apparent reason committed an unreasonable seizure under the Fourth Amendment. (Virginia Lawyers Weekly). HOUS[NG [S SUSPECT CLASS: Chicago judge Michael Getty voided a law requiring

corpse is not rape, but is attempted rape if the defendant thinks the victim is still alive. (National Law Journal). FlDA SHIELD: A Boston appeals court has ruled that FI~ and Drug Administration approval of some medical devices may protect the manufacturers from claims such as negligence, breach of warranty and fraud. The ruling does not apply to pharmaceuticals. (Wall Street Journal). . JURY BAlANCING: TheThird Circuit said aNew Jersey judge diid not deny equal protection by placing blacks on a grand jury to balance it racially. No p.articular person was excluded from a jury because of race; rather, the judge passed over two blacks but asked them to stay around to see how the jury's racial balance turned out, and used them in the end. (U.s. Law Week) . BANK[NG D[SPUTES:

juveniles selling drugs in public Increasingly, large banks are housing to be tried as adults. He choosing arbitration to resolve said all 34 defendants disputes with their customers, prosecuted under the law were avoiding the time and money black, as are 91 percent of involved in going to court. These Chicago public housing banksinclude BankArnerica and residents. (Washington Post). Wells Fargo and Co. Some FINER POINTS OF LAW: A OIrganizedconsumer groups are California appeals court said opposing the change in policy, that raping a non-<:onsenting saying it will mean lower awards

for customers. (Wall Street JOUfTUlI) . NOT EXACTLY TEACHER'S PETS: Two Ohio girls, ages 12 and 13, have been charged with planning to stab their English teacher to death. The two shared their plan with other students who had bet a total of about $200 on whether the girls would go through with it. Their plan was foiled when one oftheir classmates told an assistant principal. (New York Times). PAROLED: A New York parole board has approved the release of Jean Harris, in prison for 13 years after killing her lover Dr. Herman Tarnower, the Scarsdale Diet doctor. Governor Cuomo commuted Mrs. Harris's sentence. (New York Times). [NNOCENCE [RRELEV ANT: The Supreme Court held 5-4 that a death row inmate cannot use new evidence of innocence to ask for federal habeas corpus relief. Chief Justice Rehnquist wrote that the court could remedy constitutional violations, but not factual errors. Justices Kennedy and O 'Connor, concurring, said that "executing the innocent is inconsistent with the constitution." Justice Souter joined Justice Blackmun's dissent. (U.S. Law Week).

Levy Hosts Meeting of the STUDENTS, from page 1 expenditures and increase productivity by downsizing, but suggested that his prognosis could improve if either the economy recovers or if the size of student bodies increases.

Minds, ACLU Explored By JOHN LOHMANN

Last Thursday, Feb. 11, Professor John Levy hosted this month's Meeting of the Minds. The topic of the meeting was: "The ACLU in Virginia: What it does and What it should do."

Eight to ten students attended the meeting, held at Levy's home. The meeting, beginning with an informal dinner, focused on the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). Levy began by giving a brief history of the national organization and its attempt throughout this century to give life to the Bill of Rights. He described the national meeting at which policy is set for the term, indicating that the meetings are long and cantankerous. Levy noted that to be a member of the ACLU is to accept that at some point you won't agree with some actions or cases taken by the organization. In our discussion on this issue, such volatile examples as reproductive rights, Second Amendment rights, and representation of Nazis and the Klan were mentioned.

Levy continued by describing the ACLU of Virginia, and its structure. The Virginia ACLU isa Virginiacorporation, affiliated with the National ACLU and

comprised of local chapters (the largest of which is the Northern Virginia Chapter). Membership in the local chapters automatically includes membership in the state and national organizations.

Contrary to what one might think, our state's ACLU does not have a legion of attorneys in its employ. Rather, a legal panel along with one staff attorney, reviews cases submitted (often by local chapters) for possible representation. Once support for a case is determined, the panel "farms out" the case to private, volunteer attorneys.

Levy discussed some of the cases formerly under consideration or taken by the Virginia ACLU. These include situations involving: a speech code in a Northern Virginia high school, an ordinance outlawing begging in Roanoke, a strip search in Franklin County, new zoning restrictions in Richmond that threaten homeless shelters, and a Pulaski case in which court was being held in a church building due to a courthouse fire.

The discourse was relaxed and the atmosphere pleasant. All in attendance seemed pleased with the meeting.

effects and the proper implementation of multicultural curricula. " The multicultural agenda is one of multicultural relativism; it presents all cultures as equals~ while overlooking cultural problems," said Boston University President John Silber. Other topics of the debate, including the proper role of secondary and prirnaryeducational institutions, minority and lower-income access to higher education, and public versus private financing of higher education, were also subject to widely divergent views.

Much of the conference discussion was addressed against the bleak forecast for higher education presented by Robert H . Atwell, President of the American Council on Education, during a luncheon lecture. Observing that "America is the most seriously under-taxed nation by international standards," Atwell predicted that there would be no changes in the financing of higher education before 2010--the year that children born this year enter their freshman year in college. "We cannot count on either highertaxesor a peace dividend to fmance higher education. The pernicious legacy of the Reagan/Buslh administration is a fixation on tax cuts." To counter the lack of public financing, Atwell urged that educational institutions reduce

The lack of public commitment to higher education, explained Atwell, has shifted the burden of financing from society and the family to the individual student. "Because education has become a consumer good, rather than a public investment, students' need to immediately acquire marketable job skills often forces them to make inappropriate career choices." A consumer good isone which individuals choose to purchase based on their individual preferences and subject to their available income.

Atwell's comments were echoed by Professor David Breneman of the Harvard University Graduate School of Ed.ucation who presented one of the theme papers for the conference. Observing that only one in four baccalaureate degrees awarded in 1989 was in liberal arts and sciences, Breneman proposed that the decline in popularity of liberal education is caused by employers' setting job requirements for professional an~ technical degrees. "From the firm's perspective, it is far better to force those training costs onto

See STUDENTS, page 12

Monday, February 22,1993 THE A.~ICUS CURIAE ========================================== 5

W olk gives overview of international business law By KIRSTIN MUELLER

On Feb. 11, Janice Bowers Wolk spoke to a group of tudents and faculty on international law in Russia and Eastern Europe. Wolk is a graduate of MarshaJl-Wythe and a partner at Eckert, Seamans in Pittsburg. The International Law Society and Mary and William sponsored the talk.

purchase an existing company, launch a "green field operation," or contract with an existing company for manufacturing.

The major concern when buying a foreign company is the negotiation of a price. Eastern European businesses use accounting principles and procedures different from accrual accounting. Companies base their financial reports on production rather than profit. Their annual reports document the flow of raw material and finished products. Negotiations require much top-level management time.

into potential liabilities. If the government changes, however, the laws of the former regime may not be upheld. Wolk said this is one of the biggest issues. The new government, for example, may permit its citizens to reclaim their land which was seized, and companies may be forced to settle with them.

Contractual manufacturing limits risk and requires little capital investment.

Wolk spoke of the changes in the nature of the practice of law. She empha ized the importance to present law student of international awarenes and language skills. Wolk i fluent in Russian. As more U.S. businesses are lookinginternationallyforprofit-making operations, lawyers, especially those involved in commercial practice, must be willing to venture forth into new area . She noted a lack of international law

The purchasing company also buys the existing labor force which is an expensive proposition. Pressure exists not to discharge workers because there are no social security or welfare-type

Feasibility studies and tax analysis must be performed to ascertain which method will be most advantageous. Wolk said the usual client's concern is how much risk to take to obtain a certain level of reward . When establishing manufacturing projects in Eastern Europe, clients want potential entry into the EEC to take advantage of the tariff-free zone.

--Kirstin Mueller

Janice Bowers Wolk

systems. practitioners in the current labor force.

patent protection in order to obtain access to the market.

Wolk presented a detailed analysis of the steps involved in establishing and promoting international business. Wolk used the estab lishme nt of a manufacturing facility abroad as an example. U.S. companies that wish to commence manufacturing operations abroad may pursue one of three options:

A U .S. companymaylauncha 'green field operation" or build a facility from the ground up. In some countries, land cannot be 100 percent owned bya foreign entity. The U.S. company needs a native partner.

Environmental conce rns are enormous for companies buying land in foreign countries. It is imperative to look

Technology transfers are one of the major pitfalls of doing business in areas like Eastern Europe. U.S. patents may not be protected. In Hungary, for example, laws do not protect process patents. Companies, however, are sometimes willing to risk the loss of

Income tax analysis is crucial with regard to technology transfers because of the double taxation problem. If no tax treaty exists, a company will probably pay taxes to both the U.S. and the foreign country. Companies must also be careful

See WOLK, page 6

BLSA sponsors 6th annual law day By SHELLEY EVANS

The sixth annual Minority Student Law Day, sponsored by th e Black Law Stude nts Association, was held Saturday, Feb. 20. About 60 undergraduates came to M-W to obtain information about the school, meet the current student and faculty body and participate in activities which may culminate in the ir matriculating to Marshall-Wythe. The Law Day isopen to all minorities although the majority in attendance were African-Americans.

Since its inception, attendance at Minority Student Law Day has grown substantially. This year the colleges represented included: Duke , Virginia Union , Hampton University, Georgetown, William and Mary, George Mason , East Carolina University, University of Maryla nd, and Virginia Commonwealth. The largest number in attendance was 17 from Virginia State. Attendees are selected using several factors, including pre-law advisors, candidate referrals and ma iling lists. The day is not only limited to seniors; all classes of undergraduate students are asked to attend in order to begin their focus on life after college to increase the likelihood that it may include a graduate school education.

Each student received a registration packet including a

welcome letter, a brochure on minority life at Marshall-Wythe, literature on employment opportunities from Associate Dean Robert Kaplan, a copy of the Ma v. Perry case that wa!'. discussed in a mock Civil Procedure class conducted by Professor Susan Grover, and a leaflet on the Legal Skills program supplied by Professor James Molitemo. Notebooks, pens and pencils were donated by Dean Carroll Hardy, Associate Vice President of Student and Multi-Cultural Affairs of the College.

The Law Dayofficially began on Friday, Feb. 19withvisitation to Torts classes at 10 a .m. conducted by Professors Hardy and LeBel. Prospective students were able to view the Socratic method as it is practiced in a real-life law school situation. Interviews with Associate Dean Faye Shealy were conducted throughout the day.

Saturday' s program commenced with a Welcome Address by Acting Dean Richard Williamson at 10 a.m., and an Introduction to the Law School by Associate Dean of Admissions Faye Shealy, who focused on the "opportunities for prospective law students to gain more information about legal opportunities at William and Mary ... to hopefully peak their interests and result in enrollment at William and Mary." Tracy Humphrey (3L) welcomed the attendees as the

President of BLSA, which was followed by informational speeches on career planning and placement by Kaplan, the Legal Skills program by Moliterno and the ::.e::.dem.ic support progrrun

by the program's director, Theophlise Twitty.

After the opening program, law students led informal small group sessions followed by lunch at Sakura Restaurant, where Alumna and former BLSA president, Ilene Olds, Esq. spoke to the group. After lunch, the attendees were given about 30 minutes to prepare for the mock Civil Procedure class at 3 p.m. In the interim, a capsule experience of Minority Life: The Student's Perspective was held.

Lisa Hicks and Toni Randall (2I..s), co-chairs of the BLSA Minority Law Day Committee, said that "many participants from the past have mentioned the Law Day as one of the main reasons they chose William and Mary due to the strong show of support from faculty and students."

ALUM, from page 2

misleading in that it also did not portray SMH's good sides. For example, I was very happy with the SMH multistate portion. SMH is especially strong on this part of the curriculum. Anyone who is testing in a state with an emphasis on the multistate should seriously consider SMH based almost entirely on this

3I..s Paul Possinger (left) and Matt Rea serenade Professor Susan Grover on her birthday after playing Cupid throughout the morning lectures ..

--Staff Photo

strength alone. I would finally note that the

choice between SMH and Bar! Bri should be influenced by study styles. I learn better reading things set out in texl, rather than setout in outline form, so I chose SMH. Further, I chose SMH because they had diagnostic reports and an overabundance of multistate questions. The diagnostic reports were not a

help to me, although I could see that they would be useful to others. I completed the overabundance of multistate questions and, as you mentioned, I passed the bar. Perhaps the multistate section was they key.

When all is said and done, I studied with SMH, I did what they told me to do, and passed the Virginia Bar.

--John V. Edwards ('92)

6 Monday, February 22,1993 THE AMIcus CURIAE

Sweet Judy Blue Eyes: Judy Collins plays Tercentenary By BOB DICKINSON

1993 isa big year for William and Mary, and it promises to be a big year for Judy Collins, too. Collins, whose career spans three decades, was Bill Clinton's first choice in inaugural perfornlers. She appeared to be the first choice as well of a moderate-sized crowd which attended her free concert at William and Mary Hall as part of the Charter Day festivities on Saturday, Feb. 13.

Collins is best known for her distinctive, crystal clear voice, and her interpretations of songs written by Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Leonard Cohen, and others. She began studying classical piano at age 5 and made her first public appearance playing Mozart at 13. But it was her discovery of folk music at age 15 that would lead to the recording of 24 albums and a presidential command performance.

rock en' roll," will be published in 1994. In 1992, Collins produced, along with Leslie Gore (there's a REAL stab from the past), a recording of "America the Beautiful," for the "Torchlight Parades" to "get out the vote" in the '92 elections. This recording was made by a 150-voice choir of women from Broadway, cabaret, pop and the folk traditions, conducted by Collins.

wrote. "Fortune of Soldiers" is an anti-war song that would have been at home in the Vietnam era--and unfortunately is at home in the post-Yugoslavia era. The best of the new material was "The Blizzard," in which Collins became a storyteller, accompanying herself on grand piano, telling the tale of a woman who finds new strength after a broken relationship, the dawn after the storm.

The audience was primarily made up of those who would have been college students during the Vietnam years. They were delighted when Collins reported that Jerry Ruben said that "The 90's are just the 60 s upside down," and that David Crosby said, "If you remember the 60's, then you weren'tthere." Her admission that she did indeed inhale, met with laughter and applause. If there were any undergraduates in attendance they mostly came with their parents (or grandparents).

Mitchell's "Both Sides, Now" and "Chelsea Morning." (Bill and Hilary have acknowledged that the first daughter's name comes from Collins' recording of this song). Her final number, "Send In The Clowns," was followed by a standing ovation and an encore a cappella performance of "Amazing Grace."

Judy Collins' latest album is 1990's "Fires of Eden" on Columbia. The release of an acoustic album of her hits including "Both- Sides,- Now~' -and "Chelsea Morning" is imminent.

As usual, the College failed dismally in promoting this event. Having talked to many STUDENTS who were unaware of the concert, is it any wonder that what was billed as W&M's gift to the community was only moderately well attended? When will they ever learn?

AMERICA THE

BEAUTIFUL 1993

Judy Collins has written a newverse'to " America The Beautiful," celebrating diversity and harmony. She will record it on her next album, "Unplugged."

Oh beautiful for tapestry Of every face and form For courage in adversity And triumph in the

storm. America America God shed all grace on

thee And Crown the good With brother and

sisterhood From sea to shining sea.

Copyright 1992 Judy Collins

Collins leads an active and activist lifestyle, performing many benefits, producing videos and films, and writing fiction­her book, "Shameless," about what else but "sex, drugs and

Collins perfQrmed Saturday night with the accompaniment of a keyboard player, bass and drums. She played the 12-string guitar and keyboards as well. The crowd was with her from the first words of her opening song, "Someday Soon." The second song, Steve Goodman's "City of New Orleans" was overwhelmed by the accompaniment, and was not enhanced by Collins' invitation to the crowd to sing along (I'm sorry, Judy, but it's YOUR voice I want to hear). She followed with the title track from her latest album, "Fires of Eden," however, and all was well.

Collins performed four songs, all winners, from "Fires of Eden," including two that she

Collins sang an a cappella,. tercentenary rendition of "Happy Birthday" in addition to most of her big hits--Cohen's "Bird On A Wire" and the hypnotic "Suzanne," and

(Some material from an article by Susan Dworkin in the New YorkDaily News, January 10,1993)

Beethoven's a cafe-deli

Judge urges students to 'make an impact' By VANESSA PETERSON

Richmond General District Court Judge Birdie Jamison challenged students to achieve a personal meaning of excellence and share it within the community in her speech at Marshall­Wythe on Friday, Feb. 18, in honor of Black History Month.

Jamison used civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr., Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall and professional tennis player Arthur Ashe as examples of excellence in her address at the Black Law Student Association (BLSA) sponsored event.

Jamison said King, Marshall and Ashe made powerful impacts on ,the lives of others during their lifetimes. She said Marshall-Wythe students can also have an impact on others by being role models,

Despite the fact that many people attend law school for their "own selfish reasons," as educated lawyers there is a responsibility to share knowledge and abilities with the community, Jamison said.

Students "need to find an area which you are strong in and go about the business of being unselfish and making an impact," she explained.

Jamison said it is not enough for students to be satisfied with "decent" grades and graduating. She said people should be measured according to their capacity, always reflecting on doing their best.

"Don't measure youtselfbywhat you

have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your abilities," she said. "The greatest danger for most of us is not that your aim is too high and you miss it, but that your aim is too low and you reach it."

Jamison said she does not "pigeonhole" herself as a black female, but as an individual who has accomplished things. She said students do not have to align themselves with someone to find inspiration; they can be the "trailblazers."

WOLK, from page 5

to abide by U.S. export licensing requirements.

Wolk cited the antiquated telecommunications systems as an obstacle of doing business in Eastern Europe -and Russia. She said the costs oflaunching a business abroad are much higher than often anticipated. Limited grants and aid are available from the federal government, particularly the Department of Energy and the Environmental Protection Agency. Companies may obtain loans from the World Bank for infrastructure operations. Specialty banks such as the Export-Import bank also offer

Carla Archie (lL), chairperson of Black History Month events for BLSA, said Jamison had a positive message not only for women and blacks, but for the individual. She said the accomplishments Jamison made in such a short time are "admirable," and Jamison has kept a "grounded perspective" on things.

Jamison encouraged students to go back into the community and become involved with the mentoring of the youth. She said it is up to the young law student to empower the community.

some financing for international business development.

Walk said huge multinational corporations such as Proctor & Gamble have ex1:ensive promotional operations in Eastern Europe. They had the large financial base to expand into the newly opened markets.

U.S. companies have targeted Russia as their primary investment focus because of the size of the market. Russia is estimated to be the world's largest market by 2<XX:l. In 1992, U.S. companies invested 8 billion in Russia.

According to Wolk, the major growth areas in Russia and Eastern Europe are in the environmental, energy and medical fields.

featuring Reubens Sailors, Beethoven,

Mozart, Corned Beef, & Pastrami.

Also N.Y. Cheesecake, Homemade Soups and Lasagna. Our Famous French Onion Soup Au

Gratin (nightly)

loin us and relax with good food in a pleasant

classical music atmosphere.

467 Merrimac Trail (Rt. 143) open 11 a.m. Sundays noon

229-7069

Now featuring a daily special for William and Mary Students with current I.D.

Monday, February 22,1993 THE AMIcus CuRIAE ======================================================================= 7

His Little Women : Grocery store trash or art? By BOB DICKINSON

You may have wondered what's gotten into about 20 fellow law students who have been seen carrying around a paperback with a cover you would expect to see at the Food lion check out. The book is Judith Rossner's His Little Women. The cover shows four females in pensive poses. The book was assigned by Professor Susan Grover as part of Professor Paul Marcus's class, Law and Literature.

Law and Literature works like this: the class will read four books during the semester. Several faculty are involved, and the professor who chooses the particular book assigned comes up with a list of questions for discussion. Each student writes a short paper based on one or more questions from the professor s list, or based on any other i ue they can divine.

The second book a igned for the semester was His LittLe Women. The narrator of this book is Nell, the second daughterofSam Pearlstein, by his second (of three) wives. Sam is a larger than life character, a movie producer who moves from wife to wife as easily a an actor moves from scene to scene, procreating as he goes. The story follows Nell as she loses and regains her father, discovers her older half sister Louisa, goes to live with her father's third family and her two

younger half sisters, and ultimately becomes a lawyer.

There is, as Grover put it, "one gratuitous sex scene," where Nell loses her virginity. But the main focus of the book is on a libel suit brought against half sister Louisa by the son-in-law of Nell 's stepfather. Louisa, a novelist, has written a book in which there are many "coincidental" parallel's between her character and the real life son-in-law.

''The fiction writer is often startled to find people living as though they owned their lives rather than as though they'd been put on this earth to provide herwith materiaL" Rossner addresses the subject of the novelist's liability when Louisa testifies at her trial that " if I write something I know is libelous, then I'm obliged--if only to myself--to fIX it so I won't be held responsible under the law. But as far as what comes out in the first place, as far as what my fingers do when you put a typewriter under them, it's more like Ouija Board." This involuntary nature of the fiction writer's art is further described by NeII as " the process by which some real or imagined germ raids a writer's brain and ends up, after an incubation period of days or decades, spilling onto the printed page, a unique and fuJI-blown disease." As Louisa testifies, perhaps she should wear a button, "Novelist: Associate with Me at

Your Own Risk." It would be interesting to know if

Rossner has been the subject of a libel action. Conveying the writer's difficulty in walking the line between truth and fiction seems to be her goal in His Little Women. There are other themes in the book: sibling rivalry, the effects of divorce, the women's movement, but Rossner had little to say about lawyers or the law beyond its treatment of the intersection of libel and the novelist's art.

I like Rossner's sarcastic style and found the book very entertaining. Hound myself in the minority in this regard. The general response from students was "Why did you make us read this book?" The book was characterized by one student as "grocery store trash," in reference to the puJp romance novels available in check-out lines. Lack of character development was a. major complaint. "There was no character that I cared about," Marcus said. Several were offended by Rossner's use of stereotypes, and someone complained that this device was evidence of the author's laziness in not developing her characters. Bryan Bonner (3L) felt the book was made to order for an NBC mini-serieS, a comment that was not, I believe, intended as positive criticism.

The reaction was so negative that it actually made me feel guilty about

enjoying the book. Is His Little Women grocery store trash? Rossner is the author of eight books, including the bestsellers August and Looking ForMr. Goodbar. I have not read any of her other books, but the film adaptation of Goodbar starring Diane Keaton was great.

Every paperback book comes with its share of excerpts from reviews. His Little Women has 17 such blurbs ranging from the New York Times Book Review to the VuginianPilot . Of His Little Women, the Dallas Morning News said, "Ms. Rossner is an accomplished satirist and she gleefully needles Seventies feminists, Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion and Southern Jews, as well as the thin line that separates one person's 'truth' from another's 'fiction.' A delight to read." Maybe law students and professors should lighten up a little.

The first book read by the class was To KillA Mockingbird. This book would have to be considered a classic by any standard. It was pure pleasure to read it again after (too) many years. The book inspired a spirited discussion oflegal and social issues. Later, I checked out the Gregory Peck film version from the library--also a real joy. Marcus's Law and Literature class will be reading The Stranger by Albert Camus and Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice to finish the semester.

CJ3erkeley CJ<eaJIy. inc.

1326 Jamestown Road (804) 229-0550

The largest selection of single family homes, townhomes, and condominiums in the following areas: Peppertree, Jamestown Common, J ames Square, Raleigh Square, Shellis Square and Campus Court. We offer assistance in locating housing, roommates, subleasing, and short term leases.

Your rental guide for enJ·oyable

living

This Week's featured property:

THE MIDLANDS

· 2 and 3 Bedrooms · $485 and $550/month - 1 year lease · $585 and $660/month - 9 month lease · All appliances · Swimming Pool · 11/2 Baths · WasherlDryer Hook-ups

2 Bedroom Floor Plan 1020 Square Feet

u'. ·

CL .

t .....

nln 'LOOI

3 Bedroom Floor Plan 1130 Square Feet

ncon 'LO".

::

LOIIVUl

' IUT rLOoa

Crossfire . .

THE AMICUS C URIAE

Monday, February 22,1993 8

Gays in military: equal opportunity has worked before By Andrea Phelps

I must admit that my thoughts on' this subject have changed dramatically since arriving at Marshall-Wythe. Before, I would bravely carry the military's party line against homosexuals into any conversational or academic battle. I should point out, however, that my opinions on several military issues have evolved since I left active duty in July 1991. One last qualification: I don't pretend to talk about conditions in a foxhole even though I assert that the days of foxhole warfare are numbered; I can and do speak about life onboard a ship which serves as a cramped and crowded home for hundreds of sailors and that is utterly devoid of the privacy that most individuals typically enjoy.

Having said all that, the bottom line is simple: there are too many crucial issues facing the military today for the top brass to become immersed in their "big guns" display of homophobia. Gay and lesbian citizens have served in the military since the Continental Army was established and continue to serve today. Forcing them out of today's high-tech military doesn't make sense for a number of reasons:

. Homosexuals CAN and HAVE successfully served. Petty Officer Keith Meinhold with his 12 years of service is the perfect case in point. When pictured on the cover of Newsweek last month, he wore gold hashmarks, the most visible indication that his conduct and career have been beyond disciplinary reproach.

. Homosexuals do not, by virtue oflx!ing homosexual, place themselves in such grave danger that the military

is literally forced to exclude them for their own safety. To suggest that the N avydoes not have the wherewithal to enforce the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) and to protect homosexual sailors from the mythical hordes of angry, macho, prone-to-violence, heterosexual sailors is to admitthatthe Navy is suffering a severe leadership crisis. Fortunately, Petty Officer Meinhold, very much alive as of this writing, is living proof of the flaw in this argument. The Navy is prosecuting the individual recently accused of bludgeoning the young, homosexual sailor in Japan for murder--just as the Navy prosecuted the heterosexual sailor who bludgeoned to death an officer (also heterosexual) on a ship a few years ago in Jacksonville, Florida.

. It is too expensive, in terms of both human and fiscal capital, to seek out and banish homose>..'ual military personnel. The military spends millions of dollars and man-hours to train sailors, soldiers, marines, and airmen to operate the most sophisticated war­making machinery in the world. When a homosexual sailor is involuntarily separated from the service, others must cover this unplanned manpower shortage until a qualified replacement is identified and ordered in. It is not uncommon for a high-tech, high-cost billet to be vacant for several months. Requiring the separated individual's shipmates to work longer hours and to do more with less IS a morale-busting issue. Taxpayers everywhere should be outraged at this costly practice. r t makes the $800 ashtray look reasonabl e in comparison.

. Assuming that a homosexual sailor is otherwise qualified to serve, his fitness to continue serving should

lx! based on his conduct, not his status. This straight­forward approach is not difficult to grasp or implement; it is more than adequate to deal with any legitimate problem that might arise. Moreover, such a policy is not new or revolutionary-the military has long enforced a similar policy with respect to sailors who have drinking problems. The Navy CANNOT separate an individual for being an alcoholic; the Navy CAN separate the sailor who continues to engage in misconduct that is attributable to his voluntarily induced drunkenness. Likewise, the military should not strip an individual of his enlistment or commission for being a person with a particular sexual orientation. Both the UCMJ and Navy regulations provide a ship's commanding officer with the authority and means to prohibit the kind of conductthathard-working, beer-drinking, flag-waving, homophobic sailors fear--being propositioned or battered by a homosexual shipmate. The Navy's policies against fraternization, sexual harassment, sexu al misconduct, and conduct that is "detrimental to the good order and discipl ine of the ship" provide an array of behavior-regulating mechanisms. Of all the nation's public and private institutions, the military should be the one place where a certain type of behavior is successfully demanded of its members.

. The It's-Bad-For-Morale argument is overused and discredited; Senator Nunn and the Joint Chiefs shouldputittorest. Substitute "Jew" for "homosexual" and you have the argument waged against admitting

See EQUAL, page 9

Gay soldiers would open up cultural Pandora's box By Peter Dutton

President Clinton should not change the current laws and regulations concerning homosexuals in the military. If changing the law was simply a matter of fairness to homosexuals, few people, including service members, would oppose it. But there is more, much more, going on. There is the direct confrontation of cuI tural mora Ii ty based on millennia of Judeo-Christian values; the affront to the privacy of heterosexual service members; the specter of unnecessary disorder in the military; and perhaps above all, the sense that a cultural Pandora's box is about to be opened.

As to the moral issues, the creators of our nation indisputably founded a society based on the firmly­rooted moral precepts of our Judeo-Christian cultural heritage. These precepts recognize that certain conduct­-including homosexual conduct --is by its na ture immoral and ultimately damaging to the social order if some restraint is not imposed. We all know intuitively from very early on that by some external standard it is not acceptable to publicly act out our every impulse or desire. Some behaviors are unacceptable anywhere-­those that directly harm others. Other behaviors are unacceptable unless constrained to individual privacy. The problem with opening the military fully to homosexuals is that a private matter becomes public in a way that directly affronts the deepest moral beliefs of the great majority of our military personnel.

The utter lack of privacy available to soldiers and sailors as a matterofdailyroutine cannot be understated. Ships are constructed so that the average enlisted man

sleeps in stacked bunks eighteen to twenty or more in a tiny room. Showers are communal, alS are toilets in many circumstances. Ships routinely deploy for six months at a time under these conditions. Introducing an element of sexuality into this environment, unrestrained by existing laws and social mores, would strip sailors who must do an already difficult job of a layer of protection that they have a right to expect.

We can all agree that it would be inconceivable to mix men and women under similar circumstances. Even assuming no overt advances were made there is clearly an uncomfortable and disruptive element of sexuality added. Imagine yourself undressing or showering in a room fill ed with members of the opposite seX; your bodily privacy and integrity is clearly viiolated, isn't i~? The analogy, though not perfect, givesc1ear insight into why Clinton's attempt to separate conduct from status falls ridiculously short of addressing the reali ties crea ted by mixing heterosexual and homosexual service members. Roe v. Wade and Casey v. Planned Parenthood of Pennsylvania clearly recognize that citizens under our Constitution have a fundamental right to bodily privacy. For the government to tell heterosexual men and women serving wlder contract to the military that they must submit in this way to the invasion of the privacy of their body is, at its core, an impermissible intrusion upon this fundamental right.

Additionally, lifting the ban on homosexuals in the military would be disruptive to the good order and discipline necessary to maintain an effective fighting force. Undoubtedly, there would be resentment over the loss of this fundamental privacy which would break down unit spirit and morale. And effective fighting has always been based on unit cohesiveness. Even so, the

military has certainly been the successful avenue of social change in the past. The best example is the 1946 order by President Truman to fully racially integrate the armed services. But that government action was to enforce the clearly recognized civil rights of the African American population. The disruption that ensued was legitimately viewed as necessary to accomplish the full exercise of the Constitutional privileges of the black community. Lifting the ban on homosexuals in the military, however, violates the fundamental constitutional rights of existing service members without advancing any recognized Constitutional privilege. The ensuing disorder would be costly in terms of military effectiveness, wasted managerial man-hours, training resources, and time. We simply cannot afford this, especially at a time when so much pressure is already placed on the services by the myriad new and taxing missions placed upon it during a time of downsizing. And ultimately for what? To violate the Constitutional rights of one group without advancing any other valid Constitutional aim.

Finally, Pandora's box. That there exists such widespread opposition to lifting the ban coming from all comers of this nation ought to give lawmakers considering this change great pause. To be sure, there is a homophobic element out there, and a just society is not built upon the infrastructure of fear. But many thoughtful men and women who have known the sting ofunjusttreatmentspeakoutag~nstClinton'sproposal­-such as General Colin Powell and Washington Post columnist William Raspberry. Theirconcems are clearly not the simple knee-jerk fear of society's ignorant As

See PANDORA, page 9

Featured COIDll1entary THE AMIcus CURIAE

Monday, February 22,1993 9

It's a MAD World

Life in the Habitrail: You get what you pay for By MA Donald

Life over at the grad complex has turned out to be less than a bowl of cherries. While the ability of the human creature to adapt to harsh situations is renowned, the office of residence life has seemed determined to test the limits. It seems the "Population Ecology Lab"

ign hints at the darker motives underlying the Habitrail-type architecture.

Beyond the litany of now-famous complaint . relating to the move-in period (no phones, laundry room without washing machines, etc.) life in the grad­plex, (or Grex for even shorter) today seems to involve a never ending series of anno, ances, inconveniences, and general silliness. Her are some of ' features" of the place.

The Physical Facility: At the least my apartment seems to befallingapart. This may be related to the fact that the unit never really seems to have been completely constructed. Locks were unin tal/ed on a door, and to this day, there are rill blobs of hardened tile gruuting :>LU(;k Iv Vdl iOU:l :lUli<JCC:l UI tIle

bathroom. A fault line is now forming in my kitchen wall perhap it will form an image of Jesus there, beneath the cabinets. The pre-formed shower unit seems to be coming apart from the wall and moving out into the bathroom, all

EQUAL, from page 8

Admiral Rickover, 'Father of the U.S. Nuclear Navy," to the Naval Academy. Substitute "Filipino" and you have the argument waged against letting Filipino sailors do anything other than cook and wait on officers. Substitute " Black" and you have the argument waged against racially integrating crews on ships. Substitute 'women" and you have the argument that wa in vogue up until President Clinton's inauguration.

Perhaps the worst aspect of this argument is the way it clashes with a couple of very important realities of military life. The first reality, is the American military's world renowned ability to regulate conduct and command discipline--if you have to, you order the troops to get along and have morale. I do not intend to be flippant. Time and time again my fellow officers and I had to tell the crew that theyweren't going on leave, or that they had to prepare for an inspection before they could hitthe beach in the infamous overseas liberty port in which we had just arrived, or that they had to work longer to make up for shipmates transferred without a relief ordered in- all despite the complaints

Arnit)'ville Horror-like. Additionally, the contraetorsseemed

to have used the cheapest spackling compound known to man to cover the screws used to hang the drywall. The slightest brush against these surfaces removes the paint and the spackle, revealing a large screw which residence life will probably claim I put there and try to charge me for. What did they use to cover these things ... flour and water paste?

Furniture: I do appreciate the efforts to minimize the amount of my deposit that will have to be kept for stains on the furniture. It will be a breeze getting those coffee and blood stains off of the unfinished wood ensemble with my belt­sander. Also, ifoneofmydrunkenfriends should destroy one of the chairs or tables during a brawl, 50 cents worth of scrap lumber from the Pottery and some Elmer's Wood Glue will duplicate the original construction materials. A design award should go to the genius who, not only was able to recycle so much scrap, but also decided to attach cushions to chIDr.:;bymc=offourJong,wood5CT~

pointing directly upwards through the cushion.

Mail Service: Oh what a joy it is to be constantly bombarded by, not only, the usual civilian junk mail, but also to receive ev ryundergraduate bulletin by virtue of

and belly-aching that were as predictable as sunset and high tide. No sailor told racial jokes because he understood that non-judicial punishment was his sure and certain fate. I quote from page 200 of the Division Officer's Gliide issued to me in 1981: Race Relations: One of the major areas

of concern in the Navy Human Goals Program is race relations. This is so critical an area of sensitivity that it merits special mention .... The policy of equal opportunity practiced by the Navy has its roots in the U.S. Constitution, which aU U.S. Navy personnel are sworn "to support and defeJ1'd;" and in the moral concept of human dignity. It is the policy of the Department of the Navy that each man be fully informed of the intent of this OpNav instruction and of the " Human Goals Credo" contained therein and be aware of the consequences of willfully disregarding its direction. Individual commands are to instruct all those under their supervision of the concept of equal opportunity through the Command Action Program and Affirmative Action Program, which were designed to insure that any form of discrimina tion be identi fied and elim inated. The forre of this instruction

having a campus mail-box. The campus mail people have apparently decided that students don' t need to get mail on Saturday, like the rest of the world, not that it matters, since I am now on my THIRD address. I have gone from 700S. Henry this Summer to 707 S. Henry at the begioningoftheyear, to Grad Student Housing, box xx, P.O. Box 8705, etc. Yeah, I'll just put that mess up at the top of my resume.

Intruders: There is a non-stop flow of construction elves through what is nominally, at least, my apartment. I have never lived anywhere where the air filters in every unit needed to be changed every two weeks. Perhaps this is a result of the original design which included the energy saving approach of running the fan continuously, even when the thermostat was off. The only switch was cleverly locked up in the mechanical closet, forbidden to residents.

Aside from the filters, not a week goes bywithou t some notice of impending entry. Usually this notice is specific, such as, ' SOMEBODYMAYBEINYOUR APARTMENT SOMETIME THIS WEEK TO DO SOMETHING." Don' t worry if you are not home when they come by, or if you are in the shower; they have pass keys, and are happy to let themselves in. Each actual worker, like worierspaidbygovemmentseverywhere,

is sufficient to justify the separation of any member who di regards its precepts and fails to respond to counseling.

Finally, the morale argument is a tragedy because of a second military reality: the proven success of the concept of equal opportunity. I proudly served with people of all ethnic, racial, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Moreoften than not, I was the racial minority in my divisions. Yes, there were a number of sailors on my ship that were rumored to be homosexual, but a a rule no one wanted to do anything about it because they were typically star performers and model sailors.

When the Chief of Naval Operations was asked during an address to the Brigade of Midshipman in 1984 whether he really believed that women belonged in the Navy, he responded, "God forbid that I ever deny any individual who is willing and able the great privilege of serving our country." It's a good policy. It's time to get on with gettin' on.

Andrea Phelps is a 1985 graduate of the u.s. Naval Academy. She spent six years on active duty, setVing in the Persian Gulf during Operation Desert StOmL

is required to be accompanied by at least two official watchers. This also helps to fulfill the Annoying Idle Chatter requirement. I have found that an Ice-T cd played at top volume helps these good ole' southern boys finish their work in my apartment much more quickly. If that fails, one can always pray for the MYSTERIOUS, PAINFULLY HIGH PITCHED SOUND which occurs seemingly randomly and can be heard by residents inside their rooms, as well as dogs throughout Virginia.

Additionally, not only the residents of the Lettie Pate Whitehead Evans Charles Phillip Arthur George residences, but also the law students of tomorrow will have the pleasure of suffering through MORE CONSTRUCTION for the new tennis center. That makes sense--Court House, National Center, Law School, Grad Housing ... Tennis Center--I see the connection. Judging from the school track record to date, I'm sur~ the plan includes plenty of parking for the women's tennis team, coaches, and staff,

the staff of the facility, and the sp ctators for whom the facility will include over 400 seats. Right.

PANDORA, from page 8

Raspberry said in his column, "There seems to be some larger fear that lurks just bvyond our ability to define it. .. [aJ public reaction that reflects a sense that something cultural is going on ... a goal that moves beyond fairness popularly perceived and comes to embrace condonation of seAlIal behavior." What the military and ultimately society are asked, not told, to do is to cross the line, from our current acceptance that what one does in private is his own business, to effective advocacy of homosexuality as a lifestyle of equal cultural validity to heterosexuality. Essentially, we are under executive fiat to make homosexuals a protected class with equal rights and status under our Constitution despite legislative and judicial pronouncements to the contrary. That is th~ Pandora's box that is opened by this proposal, and it has no solid Constitutional footing. As such, it simply goes too far. Protecting the right of a homosexual to conduct his or her private life in private is one thing. But Clinton's attempt to force the private matters of homosexually oriented people upon a captive military is simply an abuse of executive power.

Peter Dutton is currently on active duty in the u.s. Navy. He was a naval aviator for six years prior to entering law school

10 ================================== Monday, Febrwuy 22,1993 THE AMIcus CURIAE

Ask Anita Libido Dear Anita,

I have a question of etiquette. What do you do when someone who is talking to you inadvertently spits on you? How does that answer change if the someone is a friend, stranger or a professor?

diffe rent reasons--a Social Security number is not so hard to discover. All bets are off, however, if the professor happens to be Uncle Fred. Then my suggestion is to hack up a big loogy and return fire. For a crash course in secretion logistics and target training, see me later.

Top Ten Reasons Marshall-Wythe Faculty Should Get Pay Raises

·-All Wet

10. 9. 8. 7. 6.

Thurgood Marshall would have wanted it that way. Joynes & Bieber wooing top profs into private sector. Hot wax jobs for the Volvo ain't cheap.

Dear Say ito-Don't spray it, Paddling students is illegal; this is next best thing. The hypothetical you

propose is a situation which calls for your mosttactful and delicate approach. You do not want to embarrass or offend a friend. Plus, I subscribe to the theOlyof the equal spit continuum: The spit you receive on one occasion is roughly proportional to that which you delve ou t on other occasions. So in dealing with a friend, remember to be as courteous to them as you would like them to be to you since, in the course of your dealings over time, you are likely to spray them as well. While the golden ru!eof spittle dealings is morally considerate, it is not imperative to be so polite to a stranger if, practically, you do not foresee encounte-ring them again. (I think the response risk of harm together with the actual amount of spit figures somewhere in the Learned Hand formula.) P e rhaps calmly opening an umbrella would suffice to give the hint. If the spit-feasor is a professor, you must be as delicate as with a friend, but for

Dear Anita, I haven't had much dating

success here at law school, but was excited about this Date Auction thing. What kind of women could I expect to see "for sale" and do you think this could be the answer to my dating woes?

The "award-winning' Legal Skills program has something to do with it.

5. 4. 3.

Joey Buttafucco rumored to be in next year's incoming class. It's Clinton-om'ics! Lawyers can lobby better than artsy, au·headed undergrad profs.

--Desperate 2. 1.

It's William and Mary's tercentennary-let's celebrate! They've got picture of Sullivan with "young companion."

Dear Last Hope/Last Straw, Against my better instincts,

I will answer your question. I am a bit quizzical about whether this approach will be of much success when you already appear to have exploited all your dating options. Maybe you should look within to see why you can't get a date. Diet, Clearasil, shampoo, a life-- maybe these would help. Anyway, as far as the selection goes, remember that the girls on the block come from the same applicant pool you witness daily. Curtail your excitement accordingly. There is, however, a point to be made for a certain "lock." If you buy

a date, you are guaranteed at least one opportunity; it is a sewed-up obligation. What your personalitywon'tdo, oontract law will. Buying the date, however, does not mean an instant scor:e. The woman will only feel obligated to fulfill the bare bones of the date specified (dinner or whatever). For more intimacy, you must rely on yourself. One approach that may help would be to seek out the most sympathetic and spend an ohsceneamountonthebid.. That way, you may oompel her to feel she must give you your money's worth.

Trials and Tribulations by Josh Sacks I, I

- T_£ ,..w:-£1UI:£.O

~ .. ~.}...,.."'€';

~oF -,.,..~ ...

"TlI~ .~ F~_~~

0"" CO ........... "1'>-.

Vl,. Y_oI """'"', I,"l" 0 .1<,

~,ar .. L" v\,v\.,. -

To\,S IS 1"'1" "'""1l>u:t..

o,..l ~c.n ... ..... i <MHo~?

Research tips: LION's new verbal instruction lTIethod By JE;FFREY REGNER

According to Nobel Prize-winning scientists and Ann Landers, research is the leading cause of death in the United States behind cellular phones and fast food. Before you plunge into something that may cause your demise you should be as informed as possible. I'd like to pass along some survival tips.

Abstinence is always preferred. If not wear a condom, but that alone may might not be enough. If she's flexibleyou can ask her to -

Hold on wrong set of tips. Let me start over.

The last library research I did before coming herewas in 1989. Ididn'tactually look at any books, I just went to the front desk and researched where the bathroom was. The librarian, or whoever it was, said that 1 could just march my drunk ass out to the bushes and go there.

It wasn't my idea to put the library between the bar and my bed, and anyway if you're open all night, you take your chances on who wanders in. A good thing to remember when doing research is be sober or bring breath mints.

Lexis is pretty good for research. It's free while you're here, so use it wastefully.

Go to the newspaper section and type in your last name. If your name is Smith or J ones don't bother unJess you really have nothing to do. What comes up is all the things that your long, lost relatives have been doing. Beware. The genes that make these people do what they did are probably tucked away in your own DNA waiting for you to run for office.

I found out that a di tant relative of mine is an East German swim coach who's now serving time for giving steroids to 14-year -old girls. Now he's playing the part of a 14-year-old girl for some guy who's serving time for defacing statues of Lenin. Don t laugh until you've checked out your own last name.

The numero uno most important first step in research is to formulate the legal issue. (1 used legalese in the lastsentence to give the sentence authority.) For this example, our issue will be, " Is what happened to my client illegal?" The key search words would be "illegal" and "happened."

Nex1 is finding a book. Here's an example of how to find the Restatement of Torts. Use LION. Type us'torts & tJ restatement." No entries located Try, "s/tort.." 1,837,988 entries located.

Try LION's lesser-known verbal mode. (Computers are your friends. Know how to use your friends..) Simply say, "Computer, where is the Restatement of Torts? '

Except, say it louder like this, "COMPUTER, WHERE IS THE GODDAMN RESTATEMENT OF TORTS!"

Libraries are like hospitals and crowded theaters. If you're loud enough you just might irritate somebody. Using LION in the verbal mode will motivate somebody to tell ou that the book is upstairs and to shut up.

Once you re upstairs find a knowledgeable legal librarian and simply use this conversation.

" Excuse me knowledgeable Legal ubrarian, rmlost. Can you show me the Restatement of Torts?

"Have you tried LION?" UI think it's broken." "Oh, well, try the stacks in the back,

fourth row from the end.. »

Taking the time on }'UUfown to figure out where the books are is wasteful because the next hbraty you go to won't be arranged the same way.

The book won't be there. Every first-

year student got the same memo to do the same research on the same day, so just pick up any other book nearby because! they all say the same thing.

Every book in the libraty is just chock full of legal words, cumbersome cross­references, undecipherable citations. Don't read them without aspirin.

You'll notice that our issue is very broad. The key search word, "happened" won't appear in any index.. Leaf through the book looking for occurrences of the word and jot down anything on the same page. Do the same thing with key search word '<illegal,' until you have enough tuff to fill up a memo.

As you can see, shrewd and judicious use of r,e5()Urces has won the day. Don't faU into the trap of improperly narrowing your issue to include words that appear in the index.. You'll just be burdened with volumes of case law. Research should never take longer than pizza delivery.

Whether you're Learned Hand or Ann Landers, you've got to do research. Sure it may seem anal, but it's required. So just remember, stay sober, work hard, and steer dearofEast German swimming coaches.

Monday, February 22,1993 THE A)'{!cus CuruAE ==================================== 11

Naugahyde

Life After Law School

PLEA5E ~ DON'r M. A 1<. E M E= Lc/tVE. r LOV£ rHE L. P.

'sc '/,,;l(-O \01, E. R. € , • (\.:T 0 I ,

I'/",/ SOR~Y,SON, B l.J T .I TIS 0 U T WI rH THE Ol.D ... WE HA FTA ,.4\AKE Roo.N1 FO/? A HE w' C,Ro P OF F:tRsr YEAR STUDENTS. TAKe HI"M AWA~

BOYS.

by Bob Dickinson 'WE GO IT A DO 501'1£ tHING­It B 0 U. T TII~SE

DooR k}/085

The Book of Zielller: and you thought Job had it rough BY DAVID ZIEMER

Midwestern Correspondent There was a young lawyer in the land

of Wisconsin, whose name was Ziemer, and that man was clever and sly, and fearing onJy the practice of family law. And his possession wasa two-room office in an 1876 Napoleonicstyle bwldingwith 13-foot ceilings, a 386,16 MHz computer, an HP LaserJet, a secretary, a coffee maker, and an a htray. And this man was great among an the \awyen; in the Midwest.

Now on a certain day when the clerks came to stand before the Law God , Satan was also present among them. And the Law God said to him, " Hast thou considered myselVant Ziemer, that there is none like him in Milwaukee, a lawyer who has not yet discovered that all men are liars and thieves, and despite 14 months of practice, still believes that all are entitled to legal representation, regardless of the frivolousness of their paranoid delusions?" And Satan, ansWering said, "Doth Ziemer respect

law in vain? Hast not thou given him a spacious office, enough clients to survive, andalovelyviewofdowntown? Butfuck up his practice a little, and see if he blesseth thee not to thy face. " And Satan went forth .

Now on a certain day when Ziemer was in the process of evicting a woman, her daughter, and her dog, from their townhouse, there came a messenger to Ziemer, and said, "There's an inmate up at the maximumsecuritypena\ institution suing some prison employees in a § 1983 action." And forwitnesses, the messenger promised, "the cream of the crop, in a prison setting." And Ziemer accepted the case, and Ziemer discovered it was filed in 1988, and was going to trial in onJy six days, and all the evidence had been lost in 1989. And Ziemer read the depositions, and realized he had no case.

But Ziemer resolved to pursue the case to the best of his abilities. So Ziemer trimmed his beard, and cleaned a shirt, and appeared in court at the appointed hour. And Ziemer made his opening

statement, and called the closest thing he had to a star witness, and thewitnesssaid the polar opposite of what he claimed in his deposition.

After this, Ziemer opened his mouth and cursed the witness' mother, and he said, "Let the day perish wherein I decided to go to law school. Why did I not drop out in my first semester? Why did I not slip, fal" and die as I accepted mydiplomafromMarshall-Wythe? Why studied I for the bar? For now I should have a real job and an employer who can pay me for my services."

Now after the perjurious witness, Ziemer called three more of the cream of the crop in a prison setting. For they had been subpoenaed to come together and give testimony. But the witnesses were useless, and were impeached, and could not take hints when Ziemer fed the~ questions that bordered on leading. And Ziemer rested his case, and the defendants moved for directed verdict. And Ziemer responded against the motion as best he could.

Then as the judge deliberated the motion, Ziemer begged the Law God to­deliver him and just grant the damn motion so he wouldn't have to come back to court again the next day. Tell me why you send me clients with hopeless cases made even worse by self-styled jailhouse lawyers practicing without a license? Doth it seem good to thee that thou shoudst oppress me, a hardworking plaintiffs lawyer, and help the counsel of the state? Why didst thou bring me this frivolous case, and these useless witnesses? Shall not this suit be dismissed summarily? Suffer me therefore that the motion be granted, and I may go to a tavern that is dark and covered with the smoke of tobacco, where no jurors, but onJy everlasting shots dwelleth."

And Ziemer's prayer was answered. The motion was granted. Then Ziemer went home, and rent his suit off, so he could put on some denim, and said, "Broke and indebted I graduated from

See JOB, page 12

Collect them all! This week: People whose egos mandate trading card status!!

More clip 'n' save Marshall-W e tradin cards

A1isa Lewis Lee Stokes Kyle Short Joe Somerville

12~~======~==========================================

News of Monday, February 22, 1993 THE AMICUS CURIAE

the Weird By BILL MADIGAN

DID YOU THINK IT WAS JUST A TOY ... A new study estimates that as many as 15 percent of all cases of sexual impotence are caused by injury during intercourse, and its chief author is recommending that men practice what he calls "defensive" sex. "Men think their erections are made of concrete," said Irwin Goldstein, a urologist at Boston University Medical Center. When they learn what women can do to them, particularly in the superior position, they "are often quite surprised," he said. (Washington Post). ERECf FOR ETERNllY . . . Cowboy Jimmy Dale Struble, restless in a wheelchair for the lastsixyearsofhis life, was finally buried the way he wanted: standing up, with his boots on. Paralyzed from the neck down in 1986 during a fight with another cowboy over who was the better roper, Struble "hated lying flat on his butt, and didn't want to be buried that way," said Glenn Younger, one of Struble's acquaintances. In a funeral procession tailored to 5lTUbL 's last requests, mourners followed his saddle-draped casket as it was hauled to the graveyard in a pickup truck. Struble's pall bearers then lowered his casket, feet first, into the ground with their lariats (Washirzgton Post). AMERICA'S MOST WITLESS

Free Body Diagram By Jeff Regner

fall back to the floor, shatter and set off a burglar alarm; fell on the broken bottle, cutting himself again; left his wallet in the store; once on the roof for his getaway, fell off; and left a trail of blood from the store to his home, just down the street (Oregonian ). GIVES NEW MEANING TO "BLOW JOB" . . . A motorist shot in the head during a traffic dispute dislodged the bullet by blowing his nose in the hospital emergency room, police said. The Chandler, Ariz., man was riding in a car when an angry c.JriV{;/ 1>hot him above the right

temple, apparently when the victim 's girlfriend, who was driving, refused to let the assailant pass. While at Desert Samaritan Medical Center in Mesa, the victim's nose began bleeding, and he e>..-pelled a .22-caliber bullet that apparently had lodged in a sinus cavity. "One of our officers . .. handed him a towel, and [he] blew the bullet out,' Police Sgt. Steve Spraggins said (Washington Post). BARBIE BATTLES BODY DOUBLE ... Sindy and Barbie who were locked in a \ricious catfight, have settled it: Sindy is

LA. W OFFICE

going to have her head examined. MatteI, the world's second-largest toymaker thought Sindy-·a doll marketed in Europ'" by the world's largest property. Just as the girls were getting all dolled up for a date in a London court, Hasbro backed down. Sindywillundergoplastic surgery. As part of the settlement, the Pawtucket, R.I.­based company said it would "resculpt" Sindy's head-·the disputed body part-- though neither company would say how Sindy would be remodeled. At the age of33, Barbie is the most popular doll in the WQ rld,

approaching $1 billion in sales a year. To protect its star, MatteI has fir d off lawsuits against other would-be interlopers, including Petra, whose Swedish toymaker claimed was a "friend" of Barbie 's. (WashingiOn Post).

STUDENTS, from page 4

the would-be employee." Responding to Breneman's

theory, several of the se ion panelists discussed the possibility of implementing a higher education system similar to the European model of dual tracking

JOB, from page 11

law school, and indebted I shall stay if this is the only case I can get. The Law God gave me license to practice, and I don't give a shit if the law God takes it away. Blessed be the law!!!!"

And the Law God was impressed by Ziemer's patience, and gave twice as much as before. He gave him a 5 6, 40 MHz c.omputer, the penthouse

CRUNCH, from page 1

Residents appreciated R e" irl c. nc.e Life's difficult situation, but were not wildly impressed with its effort-. Joe Guarino (lL) reminded his neighbors of their sufferings as "guinea pigs" in a meaningless "sacrifice. ' U ezelleDut--ger(IL) hoped the process would take some account of c ses of

in secondary school for either trade or college edu-:ation. Although ack'11owledging the elitist implications of thi alternative, panelist Charles Clotfelter professor of Public Policy Studies and Economics at Duke University, t~ted , "1 do not believe it is impo ible to

of his office building, a fax machine, the most excellent coffee bar in the tundra, and three "ecretaries. And there was not found in all of down'town Milwaukee women as beautiful as the secretaries of Ziemer.

And Ziemer lived after these things. only a hundred and forty days, and appreciated them very little. For he remaine.d a before his tribulations more thana trifle prone to dissipation.

hardship, such as people with no cars. Jeremy PhiJJips (lL) wond red who would pocket thecon iderableintere tonthe depo its. Jonathan McGrady (lL) asked ifthecomplexwould get cable television. Briggs said it was highly unlikely. Despite impr vements, the housing process will remain incon 'eruent and uncertain in the near future.

reconcile an elitist activity such as Ii ral education 'With our traditi nal goals of equality of opportunity. The challenge for publi policy is to make sure that the doors to the paths of leade hip are open to all young peopl who are in lined to take those ath .. "

. . . Carlos Carrasco, 24, was sentenced to 10 years' probation in San Antonio for a bungled burglary of a liquor store. Acc.ording to records, Carrasco cut his hand badly when he broke through the store's roof; tried to throw a bottle of whiskey out through the hole he had created but missed, causing the bottle to

r---~:-----I r---~;e-----i r----L:-----I r---~~:----I I Joe isthe first to tout himself I I As Kyle's roommates are I I Soon after Law Camp, Leel I Always the first to tum around las a versatile athlete. Perhaps I I quick to predict, " Stylin' I I was bodily removed from thel iWhen someone at the law Ithisiswhyhiswardrobeismade I I Profilin ' and Kylin'" will soon I I Librarywhenshecouldn 'tkeePI aschoolyells, "Barwench!"Alisa lup exclusively of sports attire. I I be the watchwords of the '93 I I her voice below 70 db. After al Ihas made many "friends" at I His name appears on a team I I SBA presidential campaign. I 1 futile attempt to ban Jim Heller, Iher j bat O'Callaghan's. Most Iroster in virtually every, I Ever the campaigner, Kyle , I has received funding tOI lofhercustomersmaynotknow I intramural sport. However, ace I I has been working hard on the I I soundproof her carrel. I ~ust how far her popularity IAmicus 1M reporter, Bill I I 1993campaignsincethe 1992 I I Evertheflamboyantdresser,t I8xtends, however. As Alisa is IMadigan, reports that he has I I campaign. Even most of the I I Leegivescreditwherecreditisl Iquick to point out, she Inever actually seen Joe playa I I first years caught on in the first I I due: "Whenever I'm in a bad I Iconsumed the competition at Isport. In an attempt to verify I I week that all those Blackacre I I mood, Daddy finds a bunch ofl Iher last Moot Court match. In Ithisinfonnation, theAmicushas I I parties were nothing more I I new charges on his American 1 Igrabbing the " Best Oralist" Inot been able to find anyone I I than an opportunity to stump I I Expresscard." (Youdidn'tthinkl laward, the judges were more Iwith anyfirst-hand knowledge I I for votes and practice I I she bought that Mercedes, tthan sati sfied with her lot Joe's athletic ability. I I handshaking. I I herself, did you?) I Iperformance . .. -----------~ .. -----------~ .. -----------~ .. -----------~

News Briefs

LSIC brings Valentine cheer to convalescent home On Valentine's Day, Law Students Involved in the

Community (LSIC) visited The Pines Convalescent Center here in Williamsburg. The students visited with the residents and handed out multi-colored carnations in celebration of Valentine's day. The Flower Cupboard on Boundary Street provided the carnations at a special rate in recognition of the event.

--John Lohmann

Health Law Society speaker This Thursday the Health Law Society will sponsor guest

speaker Professor Jeff O 'Connell from the University of Virginia. O'Connell will present "No-Fault Insurance for Medical Malpractice?" O 'Connell's 25 years of work in the field of no-fault insurance has made him a recognized authority on the topic. The event will be held at 5 p.m. in room 124.

Applications for Editor-in-Chief of the Amicus Curiae

The office of Student Activities is now accepting applications for Editor-in-ChiefoftheAmicus Curiae for the 1993-94 school year. Prospective applicants should have a profoundly low IQ, no desire for future employment, and no family history of ulcers. Anyone crazy enough to want the job can pick up an application in the Amicus office, or the Student Activities Office. Deadline for applications is 5 p.m., Friday, Feb. 26.

Honor Code Revision Committee approves appeal process

At its last meeting Feb. 10, the Honor Code Revision Committee voted to provide for an appeal process for a student convicted by the Honor Council. Once the Council decides the student is guilty, the student may request a

THE AMIcus CuluAE 13 Monday, February 22,1993

Fairfax and Alexandria Feb. 5-7. The team was the only Virginia team to make it to the semifinals, and only three schools placed two teams in the that round, Georgetown, Desquenue, and William and Mary.

Congratulations to Laura Kerrigan, John Lohmann, John McGowan, James Creekmore, Rich Hricik, and Tammy Moss for a strong showing.

SBA reviews budget, exam scheduling proposal The SBA budget for 1993-94 will be reviewed this week by

the finance committee of the BSA. SBA Treasurer Jenny Johnson made the announcement at the last SBA meeting, Feb. 10. The budget includes "The biggest increase' we thought we could reasonably hope to get away with," she said. Among the new groups included in the first draft of the budget proposal are Law Students Involved In the Community (LSI C), the Meeting of the Minds project, and The Health Law Society. There is also a request for the SBA to resume funding of Trial Advocacy Competition teams, to represent M-W in regional competitions.

Also on the SBA agenda was the final approval of a proposal to the Faculty Academic Status Committee to consider changing the exam scheduling policy. SBA President Joe Cartee discussed wording of the proposal with class representatives. The final version adopted a two-tiered recommendation. The primary proposal calls for publication of the exam schedule prior to registration. An alternative calls for the schedule to be published after registration but before the close of Add/Drop week.

Plans for Barrister's Ball are firming up. The annual spring semester formal is scheduled for March 20 at the Williamsburg Lodge. Music for the event will be by the band Casper, who also played for the 1991 Fall From Grace.

--Doug Miller

hearing by students selected randomly by the registrar. If Former education secretary to speak found guilty at this hearing, the student would be expelled. Terrel H. Bell, U.S. Secretary of Education in the Reagan But if the student is found innocent, this decision would cabinet from 1981 to 1985, will give the 1993 Distinguished overrule the decision of the Honor Council. . Lecture for the School of Education today at 7:30 p.m. in

John Brownlee (2L) is planning to present the final proposal PBK Hall. of the Committee to the Honor Council. Susanna Broaddus Bell's lecture will be titled, "A Nation At Risk: Reflections (3L),chiefjusticeoftheHonor Council, said the Council will A Decade Later." Bell is the founder of the National review the proposal and hold an open meeting to discuss it Commission on Excellence in Education and the author of next month. eight books, induding The Thirteenth Man: A Reagan Cabinet

Trial Team goes to semifinals The Marshall-Wythe Trial Team competed in the Texas

Young Lawyers/ABA National Trial Competition held in

Memoir. He currently heads an educational consulting company in Salt Lake City, Utah.

The lecture is free and open to the public.

........

.' '"

Arts & Entertainment THE AMIcus CURIAE Monday, February 22,1993 14

Glutton for punishment

Reviewer actually likes movie, rates it PG: Pretty Good By ALAN DUCKWORm This is an exciting time of

year for me. February is the month of the B-movie. Believe or not, these movies have hot release seasons too. Every time I hit the video stores, I find new and exciting releases. And with such promising movies as Robot Wars and Bloodstone still yet to come, this could be the best month ill! B-movie history. Now I know this information is of zero use to 99 percent of the school. I still must believe in my heart that someone else at this school has the basic qualities to enjoy these films. I have to believe that I am not alone at M­W. Otherwise, I don't know if! would have the strength to go on. However, I do have this faith, and it provides me with the strength to continue my struggle. So I shall continue with my Holy Quest to inform the masses of the true way of movie viewing. Hired to Kill: Action and adventure at t he:ir fine st. Well. maybe not. I mean Arnold is nowhere to be seen and he is the king of action -adventure movies. There isn't even a Seagal or Van Damme to Iiven things up. Really, there is no genre of movies which is more cliquey than action-adventure. This, however, is not the heart of the

matter: How was the movie? PG. Pretty Good, not

Parental Guidance. The plot is fairly simple. Ryan is a jaded, misogynistic mercenary. Healso gets all the good lines, like "No plan isa perfect plan ifitinvolves women." Basically, he spends a lot of time early in the movie bandaging his knuckles from where they scrap the ground. Of course, since this is a happy movie, he is forced to work with a team of women. And by the end, he respects and likes them. Isn't that special? But I get ahead of myself. He is sent with the team of women, whom he recruits from assorted sleazeball prisons, to rescue a rebel leader who has been imprisoned for 15 years. To accomplish this, he plays a homosexual fashion designer (that's not a stereotype, right?) who, with six models, is showing his new linein this small Latin American country. I will leave the rest ofthe movie up to your active imaginations.

The cast is filled with name actors. Brian Thompson, the villain in Cobra and currently the sheriff in the TV show Key West, plays Ryan. The most memorable part of his performance was his intentionally (I hope) miserable attempt to play a macho stud portraying a homosexual fashion

designer. The older set in the movie is much more interesting. Oliver Reed plays Bartos, the leaderofthecountrywhichRyan infiltrates. His usual flourish abounds in this movie. George Kennedy is Thomas, Ryan's boss. His quiet intensity makes his smallest gestures interesting. My one complaint was casting Jose Ferrer as Rallis, the rebel leader. The role is small and utterly meatless. Surely Ferrer could have handled and deserved a more exciting role.

This actually was a very good movie. It avoided the standard low-budget movie trap. We all know what it is: when in doubt, put in lots of gratuitous violence and nudity. The movie is violent, but very little of the .violence could be considered gratuitous. There is very little nudity, and thatisdefinitelyplot-based. The biggest flaw with the movie is the editing. At two points, they must have removed large sections because the characters make jumps of actions which make very little sense. This type of mistake is, however, acceptable for action -adventure movies, because characters generally must act stupid for the plot to work. All in all, I liked this movie. I give it three beers. Dolly Dearest: Any idea worth doing once is worth doing again.

There are no new ideas under the sun. Remember these phrases. If you want to be a monetarily successful B-movie producer, you need to live tlhese phrases. Actually,youcanmake money without them, but most producers don't believe it. Dolly Dearest is the latest evidence of this trend. An evil spirit inhabits a child's doll and kills people. Sound familiar to anyone? Actually, I should save the plot description for later in the column. Now, for the uninformed, this movie is a rip­off of Child's Play a-nd its subsequent sequels. But rip­offs can be good, just see The Hand That Rocks The Candle. But does this one measure up? Well, let's see.

The plot involves a toyfactory in South America which a yuppie couple has bought to make dolls. Unfortunately, there is an ancient tomb of a Devil Child who has a goat's head on a human body from an evil ancient tribe, the Sanzibar. LookS Iikelhey shoUld havt;uum;; a little more property research. Coincidentally, the tomb is being excavated at the same time as the factory is being built. lOne archeologist has already been killed, but they are pressing on. Standard horror movie attitlUde. I mean if people acted smart,

the movie would only last a half an hOUT. The spirit of the Devil Child inhabits the body of a doll which is owned by the daughter of the yuppie couple. It takes over her mind and starts randomly killing people. The mother figures it out, but her Toving, ifdumb, husband doesn't believe her. Things degenerate from there. A major plus to this movie is it avoids the cliche of the undying viIJain. Normally, the villain is killed, what, five times before it takes. This time, the first end is the real end. That is the biggest surprise in the movie. Sorry, I gave it away.

The cast has several name actors in it Themother,MariIyn Read, is played by Denise Crosby. She almost displays warmth in this film . Herrangeis expanding. Her husband, Eliot, is played by Sam Bottoms. Karl Resnick, the replacement archeologist is played by Rip Tom. You know, I believe that is not a stage name. But I also believe in Santa Oaus and that what 1 MIl \earning lhis)'enr '""iH

be useful when I graduate. Well, on that suicidal note, I

think I wil1 bring this column to a close. This movie is not badly done, but I have seen it before. And done much better. It's a who cares. I give it seven beers. See you at the video stores.

Murray a likeable jerk in Groundhog: Temp's tiIlle is up BY STEVEN YOUNGKIN

The hard fact about movies is that sometimes really bad movies can overwhelm good ones. Occasionally a movie comes along that is so insipidly awful that it makes people forget pretty good movies.. Hopefully, if there is any justice at all, the good movie will succeed and the pathetic film will disappear.

That's my hope with this week's movies. Groundhog Day is a quietly funny motion picture while The Temp is a movie that is astoundingly bad. Fortunately, it appears that Groundhog Day will be the far bigger box office draw, thus proving that sometimesquality does bring in the audience.

Groundhog Day stars Bill Murray as a weatherman who visits Punxsutawney, Penn., for it's annual Groundhog Day celebration. Murray hates the town, the people he works with and practically she went to school, her 12th grade English teacher, etc.) and the next day he poses as former schoolmate by using all of the information against her.

He quickly tires of the situation after exhausting all the possibilities. He becomes even more depressed when he realizes that he can't kill himself because he'll just wake the next morning as if none of this ever happened. Just when his situation is at its darkest, he starts to fall for his producer, Rita (Andie MacDowell). He spends the rest of the movie attempting to win her over and finding that he'll have to change in order to do it.

The premise is very clever and Murray does a wonderful job with the c~aracter. He plays the type of character that he is best at--the likable, smart-aleck), jerk. Even when he isat his most self-centered and conceited, he stiJl has the audience on his side simply because, deep down, he's never quite as mean as he appears. It's obvious that Harold Ramis and Danny Rubin wrote the script for Murray because the character is tailor-made to his strengths. Even his alteration is believable because it is so gradual that, when he finally becomes a nice guy, it

comes as much of a shock to the audience as it does to Murray and the other characters. If the movie is a little too lightweight, and no one will remember they saw it 6 months from now, it is still a very pleasant way to spend the evening.

On the other hand, "pleasant" is nowhere close to describing The Temp. The movie is the latest entry in the " from hell" series (the nanny from hell, the cop from hell, the tenant from hell, the roommate from hell, etc.) and stars Lara Flynn Boyle as a temporary who is hiredasTimothy Hutton'ssecretarywhen his former secretary's wife gives birth. Boyle decides that she wants to remain with this company and takes advantage of the opportunity presented when Hutton 's secretary dies in a freak shredder accident. She also decides that she is not content to remain a secretary and sets out to climb the corporate ladder in any way possible.

Hutton starts to have suspicions about her by various odd things, such as her lies about her degree from Stanford, the fact

that she won't let anyone meet her family, her screwing up a dinner date with his wife, etc. He is careful about making accusations because he broke up his marriage by becoming too paranoid and just finished therapy to get over that But when executives start dying everywhere, he is convinced that Boyle is behind it and sets out to prove that he's right.

The premise is not bad (it's worked a dozen times before) but the execution is amazingly bad. This is one of those movies that is so stupid that it practically defies description. This film isn't just dumb, it is bone-crushing, mind­numbing, eye-glazing, jaw-dropping, stupefyingly, amazingly, inane story l[elling. There are plot holes that are 1Mde enough to drive a semi through. For example, when ifs discovered that someone is trying to kill Boyle, theviewer is never told who it is or why they are trying to do it. (Is someone else besides

See MURRAY, page 18

Monday, February 22, 1993 THE AMICUS CURIAE 15

It's Only Rock & Roll

A Brutal Top Ten, A Languid Ingenue, and a Wandering Mick BY PHIL NUGENT

To all who have written, called, and approached me in the street: thank you for your interest in The List, last i ue's humble attempt at a Best Of 1992 list. Becauseofthesheervolumeofresponses, I cannot guarantee a personal reply, but I promise to carefully consider all requests. This is not my column, but yours. You are the ones for whom it is written. I would be nothing without you.

To prove my sincerity in this, and to satisfy the legions of death metal" fans in the law school (whom, I must admit, have been given nothing, not even crumbs, from this column), we feature thi week an alternate, headbangers' list of the top ten albums of 1992. Thi list ha been submitted by fellow Amicus columnist Bill Macligan, a.k.a. Master Chef of the Brutal Breakfast (Thursdays on WCWM from 6 to 8 a.m.), and a devotee of the most unforgiving music ever to come out of a set of loudspeakers. Bill was crushed that my list contained no metal. Tori Amo didn t quite do it for Bill. (Okay, Bill, here's your list; you can stop picketing my house now.) So, for all of you headbangers who felt left out by The List, here i Bill's Brutal Top Ten of 1992:

1. Black Sabbath, Dehumanizer 2. Kiss, Revenge 3. Mercyful Fate R eturn of the

Vampire 4. Nocturnus, Thresholds 5. Solitude Returnus, Beyond the

Crimson Horizon 6. Dream Theater, Images and Words 7. Killers, Murder One

8. Manowar, The Triumph of Steel 9. Stone Temple Pilots, Core 10. Saigon Kick, The Lizard -

That's quite a list, Bill. Well, there you have it, music fans: the definitive list of 1992's most sensitive singer-songwriters and their gentle songs of love and happiness. For further details, see Bill. For another faithful reader s suggestion of another sort, read on. k.d. lang, Ingenue Ms. lang has been doing the Country shtick for the last few years, but she really came into her own with last year sIngenue, in which she ditched the schtick and made an original, distinctive album.

Ingenue isan absolute departure from 1989's Absolute Torch and Twang; it's hard to believe it's the same artist. But then, k.d. has a history of breaking down barriers. Just as the Canadian perfonnance artist beat Nashville at its own game, she now ventures into new territory. So, the Patsy Cline sound-alike has been replaced by ... what? In a general sense, k.d. is a piece of the jigsaw of the recent goldrush of introspective, confessional country/folk/pop singer­songwriters (see, e.g., Mary-Chapin Carpenter, Bonnie Raitt, Shawn Colvin.) Yet, lang's new sound is all her own, even as it owes a debt to old-timers like Peggy Lee and Edith Piaf. Ingenue is k.d.'s true coJlecrion of torch tunes.

The ingle,' Constant Craving," is indicative of the feel of the album: sorrowful but seductive. At first, I was underwhelmed by the album's pensiveness, but Ingenue draws the listener in. Sometimes there can be too

Breakfast of chaI11pions: By BREIT JOHNSON

and RACHEL GLUCKMAN Eating breakfast at the Williamsburg

Inn is almost as good as breakfa t in bed. Unfortunately, you can't go in your pajamas. The personal service and the attention to detail by the Inn swell trained staff make breakfast (or any other meal) a very pleasant experience.

We went to the Inn on a very rainy Friday morning before class. Arriving before your breakfast date is not all bad­-the Inn s spacious, nicely decorated lobby is a great place to wait. Upon going into breakfast, we were seated immediately at a nice window table in the Regency Room and the pampering began. Before we could even open the menu, we'd already received demilasse cups of coffee, our choice of muffins, and a sampling of fruit preserves. The waiters and staff were incredibly attentive and made sure that coffee cups and water glasses never approached being empty.

The menu is varied--offering everything from Special K to eggs benedict. Full country breakfasts are

available including creamed chipped beef over toast, trout with eggs and chives, and kippered herrings. Prices are moderate to high-priced as compared to other restaurants in Williamsburg. We felt that the quality of the food and the service, though, made the premium well worth it. Our breakfast for two came to just under $20, excluding tip.

Rachel settled on a mushroom and herb omelet and wisely opted for the home fries instead of grits. She loved the omelet, but thought that it was large enough for two people. Rachel was delighted by the variety of mushrooms whose differing flavors were distinguishable without overwhelming the taste of the eggs. Her order also included toast which she didn't touch, but which Brett liked a great deal.

Wanting something simple, Brett ordered a Belgian waffle that came with a delicious apple butter. The waiter continued the high level of personal service by ladling the syrup onto the waffle and, in the process, committing a minor faux pas by dribbling some of the

much of a good thing: many of the tracks sound similar, and k.d. frequently comes off as languid (excuse the pun), listless and lethargic. But, the melancholy style generally fits with what k.d. is trying to achieve, and the music has a hypnotic feel, with nice touches of accordion and violin. If the more memorable songs are the (slightly) more energetic ones (such as the title track and "Season of Hollow Soul"), all the songs work well together. So, should the Grammy-nominated Ingenue have been on The List, as has been recommended? I'll need a few more months to figure that one out. Mick Jagger, Wandering Spirit You've got to admire any 49-year-old willing to pose shirtless for a new album and video. (No, Jerry Garcia, that wasn't a request.) Anyway, Jagger is keenly aware of advancing age on Wandering Spirit, and he seems equally intent on proving that it hasn't gotten the best of him. On the first track, 'Wired All Night," Jagger boasts that he s "hard as a brick" and snarls, "Give me a drink/Don't be talking so much!You're a pain in the butt." Is this any way for a grandfather to talk?

(If you don't think so, you might be interested in Paul McCartney s new album, Off The Ground. This kinder and gentler album is not going to convert anyone into a McCartney fan, although true believers will probably think, with some lustification, that it's his best new work in some years.)

Back to Jagger. Has he finally made a solo album worthy of the man, the Mick, the legend? That's a heavy burden, but Wandering SpiriJ is definitely his best

solo effort, and is better than anything the Stones have come out with since 1981's Tatoo You. The album has a diverse sound: the 14 songs are all over the musical spectrum, from a James Brown remake "Think," to the countryesque "Evening Gown," to a "Miss You" sound on "Sweet Thing," and ending with the Irish folk song, "Handsome Molly." So, is this Some Girls Revisited? It could be, even without the presence of Keith Richards. With Wandering Spirit's blend of styles and the quality of the ingredients, it has more of the flavors of a seven-course feast than merely those of a microwaveable pizza, and the lack of Richards does not mean there aren't any good riffs to digest.

Aswith many releases in recent years, this one takes advantage of the extra time afforded by the 74-minute CD, sometimes to the disadvantage of the listener, who would rather have an excellent lO-song compilation than a merely good collection of umpteen songs. Yet, that might mean that we wouldn't have the tongue-in-cheek 'Handsome Molly" on here, and it's one I wouldn't want to give up.

Other highlights include the single, "Don't Tear Me Up,"withoneofJagger's best hooks in years; the "Ruby Tuesday" kissing cousin "Angel In My Heart;" the catchy R & B tune, "I've Been Lonely For So Long," and the funk)' "Use Me," with Lenny Kravitz lending some vocals.

'. It's quite an interesting melange. So, checkitout, checkitout, checkitout, and program your CD player to play your favorite songs.

'Burg Inn pampers guests syrup onto the tablecloth. The waffle itself was excellent--lightly crisped on the edges and cake-like on the inside. The apple butter, though, took the dish beyond your ordinary waffle. Whipped until very light, the butter contained small chunks of apple but was not too sweet. It made a convert of Brett, who normally does not like butter at all.

We decided that you can't go wrong with any beverage that you might order. Orange juice at the Inn is wonderful-­your glass comes full of freshly-squeezed juice and is presented to you on a bed of ice to ensure that it remains chilled. Hot chocolate is also a delicious choice. Without all the whipped cream floating on the top that many restaurants seem to feel is necessary, the waiter instead brings you a smaIl pot with enough piping hot chocolate for three or four cups.

Breakfast at the Inn need not take a lot of time. The staff is so attentive that not only does your food arrive quickly, but your check is also at the table without your having to wait. Despite eating at a very leisurely pace and talking quite a bit

during the meal, we were in and out of the Regency Room in just under an hour. We recommend that breakfast be enjoyed with enough time to savor the food, the gracious atmosphere, and the nicely decorated dining room--although Rachel was not crazy about the carpet.

As part of the atmosphere, the Inn's staff is apparently very conscious of seating people throughout the room; at no time did conversations from other tables rise above a faint munnur. The ambience might feel a bit stodgy for some--we were definitely the youngest people eating there. Our guess is that most people of the age of typical law students only eat at the Inn if they are gUests there. In fact, one of us and another classmate who had breakfast together at the Inn in the fall were congratulated by the hostess and were asked if we were on our honeymoon.

We highly recommend the Inn as an alternative to the dreaded local pancake houses. For a special occasion, or for no occasion at all, few breakfast experiences in Williamsburg can top it.

.rt'" --

---

",;.: .- -

16 Monday, February 22,1993 THE AMIcus CmuAE

Drapers' scholar spends Christlnas with Serbian sniper BY WILLIAM DEVAN I am finally emerging from

the monastic life of a scholar. After a long and eventful holiday in Greece and Turkey, I returned to London and learned that 40 percent of the LL.M. candidates fail the degree each year. As I have done little work toward passing my degree, I thought it advisable that I knuckle down and get back into student mode. Consequently, I have few interesting stories to tell concerning my last three week in London, but I do have holiday stories to relate.

On Dec. 14, I flew into Athens to travel in Greece alone for two weeks before meeting three friends in Istanbul, Turkey. I found myself in the small town of Mikenes in the Peloponese. The town exists almost solely for the tourist trade in the summer, and in the winter they harvest olives and oranges with European migrant labor.

Many of the laborers are the feared and despised Albanian refugees who work for a mere 1,000 Drachmas ($5) per day, and who also serve as hired muscle for the less scrupulous farmers. The incredible numbers of them seen around Greece were a shocking IntroductIon to the waves of refugees coming out of the Balkans right now. The remaining laborers are Poles, Serbs, French, and British with a few miscellaneous types thrown in for leavening--none of whom will work for less than 3,500 Drachmas per day, a fact which may explain their hatred of the Albanians.

With such pitiful wages to last them, the workers live quite che·aply. Most ofthe Albanians live in ancient burial caves scattered around the area.

On Christmas Eve, I went

down to the cafe where the workers all met and discovered that the holidays put an end to work. Whilst there, I met a Scot named Grant and a Bosnian Serb named Boris, who was fleeing the war. They were already drinking "crassy" (homemade white wine), and after a few coffees and an hour or so, I joined them. Boris suggested that we go to his cave where he lived with an Oregonian and two English fellows. I agreed and armed with a litre and a half of crassy, we proceeded up to his cave.

The cave was cubicle in shape and cut into a hillside. Boris fixed a fire by which we warmed our feet, and then he fixed my Christmas Eve dinner of potatoes, spam and a hunk of lamb cooked in a big, black and gritty iron skillet with salt and water over that same fire. We sat around and drank while the ceiling became obscured by smoke from the fire, and Boris told me about his life in Bosnia.

He had been a taxi driver, but when the war came he picked up a gun and decided like the rest of the Serbs that he could notlivewithMuslims. Hewasn't religious, he just could not live with "them." He was a sniper, and 1 asked what it felt like to kill someone for the first time. "I don't know the word," he said as he stood up with the fire flickering in his eyes and silhouetting his figure with its unkempt shoulder-length hair, "but it's like this cave," he continued while slowly sweeping his arms out from his sides.

"Hollow inside?" I asked. "Yes, that's it. Hollow, the

firsttime . .. but then ... nothing." After some further silence

he muttered, "War's no good," and then, because hewasseeking refugee status in Canada, he

asked me how long itwould take him to buy a used car so he could start up a taxi business.

A few days later I was in Istanbul. A critical experience in Turkey is the ham am (Turkish bath). The bath consists of a series of marble sinks with hot and cold water taps around a large round stone platform known as the "navel stone." Above the navel stone is a dome with lots of little glass windows to let in light (and perhaps to help the occasional peeping tom). The bather mixes water in the sinks until it reaches an ideal temperature and then sluices the water over himself with a plastic bowl. The bather then deans himself using an abrasive mit and soap. The mit takes off an unbelievable amount of dead skin and makes you feel cleaner than you have ever been. Under the navel stone is the heater for the hot water, and when you are done washing you relax by lying on top of it. You also have the option of having a mas....;euse wash you (except of course your privates). Women, however, may only get a facial or foot massage.

Since I have been back in London, my only adventure of note occurred last week .when Princess Diana visited a center for the homeless near the residence hall. The Aush·alian women with children had found some flowers and set their kids out with the flowers for Di-sort of like bait. A little before 11 a.m., she emerged and walked down the path to take the bait while we clicked away wildly with our cameras. She chatted with the kids about three feet from me and then slid into her dark blue Jag and was gone. She was very nice to the children, but the grace that comes across in the still photos does not come

Escapefor-• European Style Coffees •

• Authentic Espresso Drinks •

• Homemade Baked Goods •

Williamsburg Crossing 5251 John Tyler Highway

(804) 229-9791

across in person, as she is too stiff and posed. She is, however, absolutely gorgeous.

As a final Marshall-Wythe note, on Sunday evening I had dinner with Peter Young from Buckingham College, who spent a semester at M -W last year. He

SMH, from page 2

and that typically happens for a "stable" subject such as Multistate Property or Virginia Substantive Equity, for which the law hasn't changed in the previous year.

d) For every subject, (tapes and teAls) SMH publishes an update that is hot off the presses during the course, includes any changes or addenda required by recent cases or statutes. These are akin to the "pocket parts" in any Code or Treatise, and are by definition necessary for published legal material . Any bar review course that does not use them should be questioned.

Not only are updates handed out regarding such changes, but SMH has several times in the past two years summarized for students recently published Virginia Supreme Court cases which have actually formed the basis for the bar exam questions.

Last summer, SMH prepared approximately25% of the students who took the Virginia bar exam. Our pass rated exceeded the statewide pass rate by about 4 percentage points, and SMH's rate was even higher for students who used

is doing well, has a job at a firm of solicitors and is looking forward to going to bar school next year after taking the New York Bar this summer. Hesends his regards. Also, congratulations to Dave Dalke, my successor.

our new Computer Diagnostic Software (which is free to all registrants). Presently our enrollments for the Summer 1993 Virginia course are 46% ahead of last year. At Virginia law schools, our enrollments are 60% ahead of last year. It is clear from these numbers that more and more students are becoming aware of the top notch program we offer.

If students want to become more familiar with the bar exam and the structures of the SMH and Bar\bri programs, I suggest that the SBA or some other student group sponsor an open forum as other law schools have done, and invite all third-year students and attorneys from each bar review course to have an open and honest dialogue about the process and the courses. I would look forward to participating in such a forum, and answering any and all questions that prospective examinees may wish to ask.

-Stanley S. Hamrick, Esq., '82 Exec. V.P., SMH Bar Review

[Ed note - The author regrets any misunderstandin& but is confident thaJ the article reflected the story, as told to him ]

• Located in the h~ of the historic ar= .

• Ample parking.

0~~~~:~'S MercJu.n1S Sqt=e oWJ.!l.i2msburg. VA 0253·184

IF '. -

I,' , Events Calendar

Monday, Feb. 22

• Birthdays: Frederic Chopin, composer (1810) George Washington (1732)

-Italian Cinema: "8-1/2," Fellini, 1962, Washington 201, 2 and 7 p.m. Free.

- Films: "Van Eyck: Father of Flemish Painting," "Three Paintings by Bosch" and "Brueghel's People," Muscarelle Museum, 4 p.m.

- School of Education Lecture Series: "A Nation at Risk; Reflections a Decade Later," Terrel H. Bell, former secretary of education, U.S. Dept. of Education, PBK, Dodge Room, 7:30 p.m. Reception follows.

- Ewell Concert Series: Gospel Quartets from Hampton Roads, Ewell Recital Hall, 8 p.m. General admission at the door, $2. W &M students with ill admitted free.

Tuesday, Feb. 23 • Birthday: George Frideric Handel, Baroque composer

(1685) • Retirement Seminar: How to invest for retirement CC , ,

Room E, 11 am.-noon and 3-4 p.m. (two seminars). For information, call Rita Metcalfe, ext. 13158.

- Lecture: "Archaeology of Jordan: A View of the Crossroads of Civilization," Moawiyah Ibrahim, chairman, archaeology department, Yarmuk University in Jordan and currently Fulbright scholar, University of Richmond; Reves Room, 3 p.m.

• Faculty Assembly meeting: Board Room, third floor of Blow Memorial Hall, 3:30 p.m. .

• Harrison Lecture: "Awash in African Culture: The Black Impact on Southern White Lives," Mechal Sobel, Harrison Professor of History, Dodge Room, PBK, 7:30 p.m.

- Faculty Lecture Series: "A History of Architecture and Landscape at William and Mary in Its First Century," James Kornwolf, professor of fine arts, Washington 201, 7:30 p.m.

- Women's Studies Forum: "The Famine Within" video , , Botetourt Theatre, 7:30 p.m.

- SPS Visiting Speaker: "A History of Space Exploration in the Soviet Union," Peter Gorin, Small Hall 123, 7:30 p.m.

Wednesday, Feb. 24 - Lecture: "Hydrothermal Systems of the Mid-Atlantic

Ridge," Susan Humphries, Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, Small 113, 7:30 p.m.

, -',

- Va Bar Exam

THE .AMIcus CuRIAE Monday, February 22,1993 17

-Voice of America begins broadcasting (in German) (1942)

Thursday, Feb. 25 - Pay at the Pump: Oregon becomes first state to tax

gasoline (1919). - Come Here Often? PSF Dinner Date Auction. - Town & Gown Luncheon: "The Archaeology of the

Merchant Planter Families of Koppax Plantation, Prince George County, Va.," Donald Linebaugh, director of administration, Archaeological Research Center, CC ballroom, 12:15 p.m.

- Concert: "The Evolution of Gospel Music," Ebony Expressions, Andrews 101, 7 p.m. Free.

- W&M Theatre: "Twelfth Night," PBK, 8:15 p.m. Box office opens Monday, Feb. 15. Tickets $5. Box office ext. 12674.

Friday, Feb. 26 -Birthday: John HalVey Kellogg, physician, inspired flaked

cereals (1852). - A Good Place to Meet at "A Good Place to Eat" Come

support the Special Olympics by eating dinner at "A Good Place To Eat" on Dog St. from 6-9 p.m. Fun for the whole family with entertainment and drawirigs.

- SA Movies: "Passenger 57" and "Ricochet," Trinkle Hall, 7 p.m.

• W&M Theatre: "Twelfth Night," PBK, 8:15 p.m. - Music: 38 Special, at the Boat House. -Mardi Gras Masked Ball: Tobacco Company, Richmond.

Saturday, Feb. 27 - Birthday: John Steinbeck, novelist (1902). - W&M Theatre: "Twelfth Night," PBK, 8:15 p.m. - Music:Bon Jovi, at the Capitol Center.

Eddie Money, at the Boat House. - No more blood for oil: President Bush dec1ares cease-fire

halting the Gulf War (1991).

Sunday, Feb. 28 - W&M Theatre: "Twelfth Night," PBK, 2 p.m. - Films: "Rubens," and "Restoration of 'The Night

Watch,'" Muscarelle Museum, 3 p.m. - Music at the Muscarelle, 4 p.m.

,

-Japanese Film Festival: "Woman in the Dunes," Wmsbg. Regional Library, 7 p.m.

- Concert: Lyle Lovett with Guy Clark, at the Mosque.

See your name in print! _ IT anything exciting is happening to your life tell us and we'll tell everyone else. Drop items for the calendadri. theAniicus hanging file.

-": ' .

Intentional Fouls Sports guru

BY ERIC CHASSE Given that the National Basketball

Association just finished itsAlI Star -gala­spectac I e -hooten an n y -weekend e},.'travaganza, perhaps this is a good time to review the season at its slightly-more­than-midway point.

In the Eastern Conference, the times, they are a changin'. For the first time in a long time, the storied parquet floor that visiting teams dread to walk on is not in Boston, Bill Fitch's playoff-bound squad does not have to beat upon its opponents to win games, and His Airness is playing at a lesser level of excellence than is the norm.

In the West, however, the song remains the same: Phoenix has been a contender for about the last three presidential administrations and with this squad will continue to be strong well into AI Gore's second term. San Antonio and Houston battle only themselves for state bragging rights, since the Mavericks couldn't beat even the best team in Vermont, let alone Texas. And perrenial powerhouses Utah and Portland show no signs of slipping.

The NBA is also chock full 0' terrific rookies this season. Shaquille O'Neal (do you suppose his father knew he would be seven feet tall and over 300 pounds when he named him Shaquille? I say name your kid Brick; no one named Brick ever had to take anything from anybody) of the aforementioned parquet­floored Orlando Magic is the biggest thing to hit the NBA since, well, ever. And Alonzo Mourning of the Hornets is only a step behind the Shaq, anchoring a potent front line in Charlotte. In Washington, Tom Gugliotta has evolved into a solid starting forward and Robert Horry, Harold Miner, Christian Laettner and Oliver Miller are all making strong contributions to their respective teams.

This latest (and perhaps greatest) rookie crop arrived just in the nick of time fOT the NBA; with the retirement of the two patriarchs of the modem game, Larry Bird and MagicJohnson, the league might well have gone through something of an identity crisis were it not for this new flock of budding superstars (I think that's right--it's a flock of superstars, a herd of everyday players and a gaggle of benchwarmers, isn't it?). And with the rebuilding of the league's two proudest and storied franchises, the Celtics and the Lakers, it was equally important for new juggernauts like New Jersey and Orlando to rise to prominence in the league.

And so, without further ado, we here at the Amicus are proud to announce the first annual All-Guru awards, to be presented by Kevin Kroner in a banquet at the Stuckey'soffofRoute 60 sometime

.. ~

Sports THEAMIcus CURIAE Monday, February 22,1993 18

reevaluates NBA at the all-star break in the near future :

All-Guru Team: To make this interesting, let's exclude the Dream Team from consideration; we've seen too much of them already this year. That being said . .. Guards: Kenny Anderson and Tim Hardaway, backed up by Joe Dumars and Jeff Hornacek; Forwards: Shawn Kemp and Larry Johnson, followed by Glen Rice and Dominique Wilkins; Center: Hakeem Olajuwon, with Shaq coming off the bench.

Most Valuable Player: Olajuwon. Just a few short months after demanding a trade out of Houston, Hakeem is having a career year and is suddenly happy playing for the Rockets. Runner-up: Charles Barkley.

Rookie of the Year: Shaquille is the obvious choice, with Mourning running a strong second.

Biggest Surprise of the Year: Hornacek, having a career year (again) in Philly.

Biggest Disa p.-lointment: The Warriors, expected to challenge for the Pacific crown, are now jockeying for lottery position, and the Miami Heat, a playoff team one year ago, is way out of the running this season.

Biggest Public Relations Coup: The continued expert marketing of Michael Jordan, added tothe positivee}""ploitation of the rising stars in the league: Shaq, 'Zo, U (a.k.a. Grandmama) and Kemp.

Biggest Public Relations Debacle: The Portland TrailBlazers' teen sex scandal, followed closely by the marijuana arrest of the game's grandfather, Robert Parish.

************ And speaking of debacles, what

happened to the Big East this season? Once upon a time there may have been an argument (a bad argument, but an argument nonetheless) for the Big East as the best basketball conference in the country; now, it must be considered to be barely in the top five. There are no national marquee names outside of Othella Harrington, whose best days are concededly yet to come, and Terry Dehere, who has slipped from preseason All-American to a late first-round or perhaps even a second-round draft choice. When St. John's, a mediocre team at best, finds itself at the top of the conference this late in the season, something is definitely wrong. Syracuse is making the most of its NCAA probation year; they might well not have gone anyplace even without the sanctions. Big Least teams can't even win in Miami, the school that barely even had a basketball team two years ago.

Is the day of recognizing the Big East as primarily a football conference, and only secondarily as a hoops conference,

finally upon us? ************

The NBA sells its product better than any sport in the nation, probably the world (although because my cable system does not get the all-sports channel from Sri Lanka, I can't be sure). There's no talk of franchises moving from town to town, no owners on SportsCenter crying over profit margins and games all over the country, even smaller markets like Portland and Seattle are sold out consistently. What's the NBA got that the other major sports don't?

First of all, begin with the product itself; the NBA bills its players as the best athletes in the world, and I would have to agree. You can have Dan and Dave, I'll take Scottie Pippin and Karl Malone. NBA players are athletes in the truest sense of the word; there are no "fat tubs of goo" like ex-relief pitcher Terry Forster, and no blobs of humanity like William Perry. To run up and down a basketball court for 82 or more games, one simply has to be in top condition, and the fans appreciate the effort.

Next, the NBA executives are the top of the line; when the NHL needed a new commisioner, it turned to the NBA's front office instead of its own for

Murray, from page 14 Hutton onto her? We don't know.) The scene is introduced solely forthe purpose of staging a car chase scene and nothing else. Gratuitous filmmaking at its worst.

On top of that, the movie makes the most fundamental error of all-it never establishes Boyle's guilt. We are never sure if she is indeed killing these people, or whether they are just unfortunate accidents (like the first secretary's). And because her explanations make perfect sense, it is possible that Hutton is

leadership. In the span of 15 years, the league has become a marketing marvel, not just of the games themselves but all the accompaniments: shoes, clothes, etc. While baseball is still without a commISSIOner and football's ownerssquabble about everything from expansion to arbitration proceedings, the NBA simply rolls merrily along. Somebody must know what they're doing.

In addition, the money troubles that currently plague major league baseball and the NFL are partially avoided through salary caps and the concept of restricted free agency; when labor strife arises in the other majorsports, the NBA is always the model to which the powers that be refer.

These 'powers,' however, clearly aren't referring enough. The cost to bring a family of four to a football game is astonishing today, and kids don't want to be Mickey Mantle or Hank Aaron anymore; everyone wants to "be like Mike."

Wake up, baseball and football , and smell the astroturfburning: the NBA can honestly say that it will continue to grow in both popularity and revenues well into the next century. Can you?

imagining it. That would be fine in a more psychological film, but it's never resolved here. Like the car chase scene, it's just another plot point that is brought up, and then dropped.

Finally, the ending is something that has to be seen to be believed. Just when the story seems to be gearing up for a huge final showdown between Hutton and Boyle (like in all of the other films), it ends. TIle movie just plain stops. We get one scene and that's it. The audience

See Murray, page 19

f$jIJ:IIJI;~

I I I I I I I I I

BUY-ONE T$ 1-0 FFi 253-7614 F~~~~~~Rp~~D I ANY I

G!!u~o~E : FOOnONG : 10 am ~~~~~dnight lESSER PRICE I SU8* I

FOR ONLY

99( * II II Call-in orders 'With purchase ora

I medium soft drink I welcome

Oneccupc:.'\perC~peJWIoII

'With purchase of a """' ...... 611193 I medium soh drink

One~p8~perl'lSll I DOe ........ 61L93 I I Williamsburg Crossing

I ~jlJ ;1111;\'" I ~ilJ ;IIIIiWilI S~f~~g&~~er L _ .= . .::~ _ ..1_ ~Sb=:: _ ~ _______ -'

Monday, February 22,1993 THEA\flcuS CuRL-\E 19

Amicus computer-like rankings

Self-promotion by Men's C can't prevent drop in rank BY BILL MADIGAN Bulling itswayto number four is Black also even after two. They began the they still are getting spanked, but they're

BASKETBALL.. .. Asagreatphil sopher Letter Law. The most prolific press season by being porked by the Earth fouling out a lot more. once said: the more things change, the releasing team in the M-W league, Law Pigs, 49-39,but recovered well enough to Sliding three to number twelve are less they tay the same. Thi aptly has backed up its talk with its stellar play. slip by the Yakoos,-tO-39. Hoopsstumbles the 1L Court Jestors, who were drilled by describe thi week poll. After two In their first contest, Letter put on what into the number 8 spot, because as far as the Massive Tools, 37-20, and punished weeks of titillating round ball action, the can only be described as a defensive I can tell, they have yet to playa game. for their Crimes Against Nature, 72-32. pre-season alignment is all ajumble. The tour-de-force. 369 Chris Koomey Some of the teams below them wish they In the last spot, Ugly. Without a victory lowly have risen like cream to the top, Reports 601 (1993). Led by Dave 'Dim" were that lucJ.:y. so far, it's not getting any prettier. Beer while diamonds have proven themselve Whitted and Ivan '·Norman' Bates, (you Is it just me, or does it seem really goggles won't be enough to make you to be coal, and sunk to the bottom. In didn't think I was immature enough to strange to have a tie game in basketball? want to take this team home. other words, here's this week's poll: use '·Master," did you?) Law diffused The teams in the number nine and ten FLOOR HOCKEY ... The season is still 1. Stuttering Parrot the B-Side Bombers, 36-16, in a game spots have visited that nether region. initsinfancy,butalreadyM-Whasshown 2. Just Do It "filled with too much dicta and not The Earnest Borgnines ended up even, itself to be the master of this domain. M-3. Crime Against ature enough hard and fast rules," said team 34-34, after 40 minutes with their Whaseightteamsthisseasonwithnames 4. Black Letter Law svengali,Chris"TheLegionof'Koomey. opponent, the Mike Iuzzolino's. The that strike fear in the hearts of hockey ~ . Leftovers 369 C.K.R. 1054 (1993). Career game shouldn't have even been close; players and ice makers everywhere: The 6. Capitol Offense performance were also had by veterans Earnest is a much bigger star than Mike Bruins, Mother Puckers, The Earnest 7. Sleepin' Dogs Todd" Automatic" Pilot and Bill "Uno, is. The Borgnines were determined not Borgnines, Kennan, Sticks in the Crease, . Hoops Dos," Trezvant. With the addition of to let their second game end in a tie, so Don't Call Me Fat, and Kroener Still

9. Earnest Borgnines their new coach, former JMU stand-out, they lost, 62-35, to JAFIT (so you won't Sucks. But the team to watch is the one 10. The Rockets Kerri "Innocent Till Proven" Gilmore, stay up nights trying to figure it out, it who's name is at best, unspeakable, at 11. Men's C Lawcontinued theirwinningways, KOing stands for Just Another Fucking worst, blasphemous: Madigan Sucks. 12. lL Court Jestors conference patsy Sl W, 45-32. Key Intramural Team. And you thought the Nex1 time, I'll have all the scores and 13. Ugly contributions in theirsecond victory came undergrads weren't articulate). The highlights.

H-holding s-steady in the t-top spot from such unlikely sources as Rodney others to tie are the Rockets, who made TEAM CAPTAINS ... Please drop me are the S-stuttering P-parrots, who . Fallen" Archer and Clem' Chowder" up for their narrow defeat in game one at your team's scores and stats. If you have vindicated my pre-season Maynard. thehandsofMBA I, 43-37, by tying game a team in the wallyball tournament, let prognostication bywinmng their first two This week's biggest jumper is that two, 35-35, with Byrne Disease. me know, so that you can receive the in­games. First. they tripped up Run & out-of-the-refrigerator-into-the- Despite being in a league of their depth coverage to which you've become Gun, 56--l5, then deflated Air Jabba, ~O- microwave juggernaut, Leftovers. own, Men's C got their heads handed to accustomed. 38, to remain undefeated. Despite an initial ranking at number 12, them in their first two games by the same

Creeping up one spot to number two Leftovers' confidence wa unwavering. score, 51-15: first by JAFIT (we already (as much a I hate ran\"'ing two t am In their hardwood premier, they poisoned went over this), then by Lambda Chi B. Murray, from page 18 with Eric on them in the top pots)i Ju t Feed, a lousy frat team' ,58-18. lntheir But because of the team's unprecedented Do It . The Do Its panked their first two second appearance, thcycanceled Prime three-page press release (take note, other opponent ·, and look like th y're wen on Time,60-40. With an average margin of team captains), Men's C win be lauded thei r way to repeating a co-rec champs. victory of 30 points, Leftovers may find with the praise reserved for teams that In their first game, they wore the Flat themselves in the top stop after the smoke areonlyhalfasgood. The team that dies Hat, 59-18. In game number two, Ju t clears. by the slaughter rule will live by the F. U.ed 0.0. 1st & Co., 71-42. Slipping to number six is fan favorite, slaughter rule. Despite their best efforts,

Violating the number three spot are Capitol Offense. Despiterosypre-season Men's C has not been rescued by the 35-Crimes Again t Nature, another of the reports, Offense is even after two games. point euthanasia rule until the final undefeated M -W teams. They KOed the They started off by performing plastic minutesoftheirtwo games. Brad "Moon Sl W's, 68-20, and laughed at, not with, surgery on Ugly, 54-27, but got banged Rising" Wagshul, the Dr. Kevorkian of M-W'sown lLCourtJestors, 72-32. The by Tuff Gang 66-56, in their second the team, 'Richie" Rich Ottinger, and team's pi ritual leader, Kyle Bermuda" game. Adam Rafal "Ticket" are still trying to Short blames the team success on hi In a holding pattern in the number perfect the team's new "block and abl,lndant time riding the pine. seven spot are the Sleepin' Dogs who are bludgeon" defense with mixed results:

Colonial One-Hour/l

sits there eA-pecting something else, but just the credits roll. It manages to redefine the word "anticlimactic."

What is most amazing is that the director, Tom Holland, normally doesn't make this bad of a movie. Holland was responsible for two goofily fun films-­Child's Play and Fright Night. At points this movie appears to be verging on the edge of parody like those films, but it never quite goes over. Instead, it insists on taking itselfsoseriousiy, thatthe movie causes the audience to laugh AT the film instead of WITH it.

Photo ortrait Studio How '\bu Like Pizza At &me.

Tuesdays and now SATURDAYS, are W&M Special Days

Bring your film in for processing and receive either FREE film or FREE double prints!!

With our new PORTRAIT STUDIO open, you can be sure ~ that your cla s pic~res look GREAT!! ..... & Make an appomtment TODA Y

-- PASSPORT PHOTOS IN MINUTES Great for applications, too!

229 3001 431 Prince George St. - across from Baskin Robbins

CALL US! 229-8885 ----., •

LARGE 1 TOPPING • AND 4 FREE COKES.

$9.99 I RIaIiIIII a ... pirD witt yru ........... .. . FREE CaIII& or dill car.

I I

\

---.

20 ======================================================================= Monday, February 22,1993 THE AMIcus CURIAE

UP CHUCK, from page 1

May, welcoming remarks from Chancellor-in-absentia Warren E. Burger who was unable to attend the Ceremony (President Sullivan performed the honors in Burger's absence), readings from the Royal Charter and Proclamation, and Gov. Doug Wilder's "Greetings from the Commonwealth." Wilder spoke of Willi am and Mary as a school of tradition, and said that the most important of those traditions is the offering of solid liberal arts education. He received resounding applause when he exhorted the William and Mary community to remain a traditional college, and a place "where teachers still teach," rather than following the impersonal paths of so many big universities.

After Gov. Wilder's paean to tradition, honorary degrees were conferred by Hays Watkins, the Rector of the Board of Visitors, upon Virginia Senator Hunter Andrews, Chief

Justice of the Virginia Supreme Court Harry Carrico, Anthropologist and Zoologist Jane Goodall, British Ambassador Sir Robin Renwick, and Robert e.G. Strick, Clerk to the Drapers' Company (and guardian angel toDaveDalke,3L). Dr. Goodall received a standing ovation upon the award of her degree, her presence in the Hall eliciting almost as much enthusiasm as that of the Prince Himself.

Happy accidents of birth are, however, still worth more than a lifetime spent studying chimpanzees, and, when the Prince stepped up to the plate following the award of the honorary degrees, the crowd went wild with thunderous applause. Charles began his speech with a reference to his last visit to William and Mary in commemoration of the bicentennial of the Battle of Yorktown, "an event," he opined, "for some reason more celebrated in this country than in my own."

Charles stated that on his ,

last to William and Mary he was ''young and inexperienced," a statement the crowd hooted at asa thinIyveiled reference to his current problems with the media and his wife, Diana, " and," Charles continued in a self­deprecating vein, "now I am old and inexperienced." Since his lastvisitin 1981, however Prince Charles has experienced a great deal, including the "marriage of the century," the birth of two children, his separation from Princess Diana, and most recently, the publication of a telephone conversation between himself and his mistressin which he stated that he wished to be re~ncarnated as a feminine hygiene product. In the process, Charles has subjected the British monarchy to one of the most serious crises of confidence in its more than 1,OOO-year history, to the point that, according to a recent Wall Street Journal poll, many Britons do not even believe that the monarchy will last out the century.

Undoubtedly, many in the crowd were there simply to see

spirits & sports

the curiosity of an heir apparent to the British throne, but Charles showed himself to be an articulate and engaging speaker. His speech, like Wilder's, dealt with tradition and education. Charles lamented the dehumanizing role that information technology is playing in modern society. He argued that the constant bombardment of our minds with vast quantities of inassimilable information ("the entire Library of Congress can be reduced to a disk that fits in the palm of your hand") is drawing our attention away from what really matters: tradition, art , literature, architecture, history, and the spiritual.

Using the pitfalls of technology as his point of departure, Charles took the opportunity to rail against the lack of tradition in education, stating that children of all ages and backgrounds should be given the opportunity to study the classics of English literature. "There are those who say that children from poorer

backgrounds should not have the work of writers from past ages thrust upon them .... It is this approach which strikes me as real elitism. It amounts to telling these children that, because they live in ghettos or slums, because they come from varying ethnic backgrounds, because they are poor or parentIess, they must be deprived of much of the greatness of human thought."

Works by women and non­whites, however, were markedly absent from the list of the classics of English literature to which Charles made reference. While he spoke of William Wordsworth Alexander Pope, William Blake, T.S. Eliot, and even William Faulkner, no mention was made of the Elizabeth Brownings or James Baldwins of English literature. Charles also asserted that "in diplomacy and law, busineSs and the arts, sport and academia, [the] English [language] rules," but we must "guard it and guide it" to ensure that it continue to "dominate the world."

an's Come Enjoy Great Food and A Great Time At O'Callaghan's

Listen to Live Entertainment, Shoot a Game of Darts, And Watch Your Favorite Sports On Our 10 Foot TV Screen

20% Discount (excluding alcohol) with ID

Live Entertainment Wide-Screen TV Every Thursday:

Live -Jazz with ~atural I3lend

Every Friday and Saturday: Live l3ands

Call for more information.

Come to ()'calla!!han's to cheer your favorite teams

~aske~aIlSeas~n

is in high gear

Watch the big games on our wide screen TV.

Check your newspaper for tip-off times. Most every sporting event televised.

Located at 4854 Longhill Rd, at the corner of Longhill and Oide Town Rds. In the Oide Town Square Shopping Center 229-6910 or 229-6821

Open everyday from 11am till 2am