The Self-Forgetfulness of WisdomProverbs 31:10-31

As we get started, I invite all of you to open your Bibles to Prov. 31. And I’d also like to turn your attention to your bulletins, where you will find an outline of the sermon. You might find it helpful to follow along this morning.

Typically, when I see books about Proverbs 31 or Bible studies focused on Proverbs 31, they can be found usually in the women’s section at Christian bookstores. They are most often written by women, addressed to women.

Why do I bring this up? Well, it just so happens that this passage was originally addressed to men.1 Young, single men, to be precise. Look back to Prov. 31:1. I believe this verse is a heading for the whole chapter.2 It says, The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him. Verses 2-9 are obviously the words of a mother addressing her son, Lemuel. Verse10 begins a new section, but I believe we’re still looking at Lemuel’s mother’s instruction of her son, probably before he became king.3

1 So writes Duane A. Garrett, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs (New American Commentary 14; Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1993), pg. 248: “In short, the original intended audience was not young women (‘this is what kind of wife youshould be’) but young men (‘this is what kind of wife you should get’). This does not mean that the poem cannot be used to instruct women, but the interpreter must recognize its primary objective.”

2 Cf. Bruce K. Waltke, The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 15-31 (The New International Commentary on the Old Testament; Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 2005), pgs. 501-502, who writes, “If Lemuel is not the author of ‘The Valiant Wife,’ it is a unique orphan in Proverbs—that is, it lacks a superscription ascribing its authorship.”

3 Remembering that she probably composed this poem before Lemuel became king is important. Some students of Scripture seek to distance this poem from King Lemuel because verse 23 will refer to the husband as sitting among the elders, apparently not the place for a king. So argues Tom R. Hawkins, “The Wife of Noble Character in Proverbs 31:10-31,” Bibliotheca Sacra 153:609 (Jan. 1996): pg. 13. However, that the crown prince might sit among the elders as a young man prior to becoming king is not unlikely.

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No one knows who Lemuel actually was, historically. If you study Kings and Chronicles in Scripture, and see all of the kings of Israel and Judah, you won’t find the name Lemuel. Either this manwas a Gentile king of a territory around Israel who worshiped Yahweh,4 the God of Israel, or Lemuel is a nickname of some kind for one of Israel’s kings.5 Either way, what we have here is two separate lessons his mother taught him in his youth. After he became King Lemuel, he preserved her lessons and passed them on, and eventually these lessons were collected along with King Solomon’s collection of wisdom.

So, our passage should be understood, like so much of the book ofProverbs, as an instruction from a parent to a young son. Some have referred to the book of Proverbs as a “manual for boys.”6 The book seeks to prepare young men to live wisely in every area of their lives. With that in mind, this concluding lesson of the book should also be recognized as directed at a young man. Lemuel’s mother wanted to instruct him on the kind of wife he ought to seek out. That’s the primary intention of this passage. But, of course, the passage has massive implications for women.

And, since this passage concludes the whole book of Proverbs, I believe we must recognize a second level of meaning. In the earlychapters of Proverbs, we were introduced to a personification of wisdom: Lady Wisdom. She appears in chapters 1, 3, and 4, and especially in chapters 8-9. I think God has seen fit to include this final passage as the conclusion to help us see an embodimentof Lady Wisdom: Lady Wisdom in the flesh.7 In fact, there are

4 Cf. Waltke, Proverbs, pg. 503, who writes, “Since such a king is unattested in Israel’s history, he is probably a proselyte to Israel’s faith. The inspired editor of the Book of Proverbs added Lemuel’s wisdom to the developing canon of Scripture.”

5 Suggested by Andrew E. Steinmann, Proverbs (Concordia Commentary; St. Louis: Concordia, 2009), pg. 615.

6 For example, Douglas Sean O’Donnell, The Beginning and End of Wisdom: Preaching Christ from the First and Last Chapters of Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Job (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2011), pg. 48.

7 Students of Scripture continue to debate whether this passage is depicting Lady Wisdom, personified as in earlier passages, or whether the passage depicts an actual, though idealized, wife. Cf. Al Wolters, “ṣôpiyyâ (Prov 31:27) as Hymnic Participle and Play on Sophia,” Journal of Biblical Literature

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several specific connections between the woman described in this passage and the depictions of Lady Wisdom earlier in Proverbs. Wecan chart them:

Prov. 31:10-31 Lady Wisdom

An excellent wife who can find? (31:10a)

Blessed is the one who finds wisdom (3:13a)

Those who seek me diligently findme (8:17b)

For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from Yahweh (8:35)

She is far more precious than jewels. (31:10b)

She is more precious than jewels (3:15a)

For wisdom is better than jewels (8:11a)

The heart of her husband trusts in her (31:11a)

But whoever listens to me will dwell secure (1:33a)

And he will have no lack of gain (31:11b)

In her left hand are riches and honor. (3:16b)

Riches and honor are with me, enduring wealth and righteousness. (8:18)

Granting an inheritance to those who love me, and filling their treasuries. (8:21)

She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life(31:12)

Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you. (4:6)

104:4 (Dec. 1985): pg. 581, who points out that “almost every age and persuasion in the history of exegesis has yielded examples of the interpretation of the Valiant Woman as the personification of wisdom.” I thinkthese ideas are not mutually exclusive and are both features of the text that the original author/compiler of Proverbs intended. Cf. JiSeong Kwon, “Wisdom

Incarnate?: Identity and Role of לללללללל (‘the Valiant Woman’) in Proverbs 31:10–31,” Journal for the Evangelical Study of the Old Testament 1 (2011-2012): pg. 171, who writes, “[S]he is a socioeconomic model of a phenomenal Hebrew wife and atthe same time she has metaphorical features of personified Wisdom in Prov 1-9.”

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Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. (4:8)

She brings her food from afar (31:14b) Come, eat of my bread (9:5a)

And provides food for her household (31:15b)

Wisdom has built her house (9:1a) She has slaughtered her beasts (9:2a)

And portions for her maidens. (31:15c)

She has sent out her young women to call (9:3a)

With the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. (31:16b)

My fruit is better than gold, even fine gold (8:19a)

She dresses herself with strength (31:17a)

I have insight; I have strength (8:14b)

She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. (31:18a)

For the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. (3:14)

She opens her hand to the poorand reaches out her hands to the needy. (31:20)

Have stretched out my hand and noone has heeded (1:24b)

Her husband is known in the gates (31:23a)

At the entrance of the city gatesshe speaks (1:21b)

Beside the gates in front of the town, at the entrance of the portals she cries aloud (8:3)

Strength and dignity are her clothing (31:25a)

I have insight; I have strength. (8:14b)

And she laughs at the time to come. (31:25b)

I also will laugh at your calamity (1:26a)

And I was daily his delight, rejoicing before him always, rejoicing in his inhabited world (8:30b-31a)

She opens her mouth with wisdom (31:26a)

Hear, for I will speak noble things, and from my lips will come what is right (8:6)

For my mouth will utter truth (8:7a)

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All the words of my mouth are righteous (8:8a)

She looks well to the ways of her household (31:27a) Wisdom has built her house (9:1a)

Her children rise up and call her blessed (31:28a)

And now, O sons, listen to me (8:32a)

There is one primary aspect of God’s Wisdom that this passage helps us see clearly: self-forgetfulness. God’s Wisdom enables a person, male or female, to live focused on others and not on self.8 So, we’re going to look at this passage at both levels. We’re going to see the instruction for young single men and what kind of woman they ought to pursue; we’re going to see the implications for young single women and how they ought to grow; we’re going to see the implications for married couples and how they ought to live together; and, we’re also going to see how this passage applies to all of God’s people as a picture of God’sWisdom embodied most plainly in Jesus Christ.9

Before we head down that path, I want to say a word to the ladiesup front. Some of you may have read this passage in the past and felt oppressed by its message. Even worse, some of you men may beguilty of using this passage as a bludgeon, holding it over your wife’s head as a standard you expect her to meet. If that’s true of any of you men, I have been praying that God will grant you repentance, so that you never use the Scriptures in that way again. And, ladies, let me mention three things that you must remember about this passage, so that you don’t set yourself underit as a yoke you were never meant to bear.10

8 Cf. O’Donnell, Beginning, pg. 54, who writes, “Every activity mentionedin these twenty-two verses entails her work on behalf of others.”

9 Cf. Waltke, Proverbs, pg. 520, who writes, “In conclusion, this valiantwife has been canonized as a role model for all Israel for all time. Wise daughtersaspire to be like her, wise men seek to marry her (v. 10), and all wise peopleaim to incarnate the wisdom she embodies, each in his own sphere of activity. One should avoid emphasizing one of these applications at the expense of another, forgetting that by nature proverbial material sets forth exemplars asking the audiences to make appropriate application to their own spheres.”

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First, this passage is a praise song. It is a poem, not a checklist. Too many books I’ve seen use this passage as though itwere a checklist of skills every woman must master in order to bea successful, godly wife. That is a gross misunderstanding and mishandling of this passage. It is a praise song. If I were to write a poem about my wife, of course I wouldn’t mention any of her flaws.11 Of course I wouldn’t describe any of her weaknesses.Would she be flattered or impressed if I did? Remember, this is amother painting an artistic picture12 of the kind of wife she wants her son to marry.

Second, this passage is describing a wealthy, upper-class, middle-aged wife in the ancient near east. It is only focused on a precise set of circumstances, and it is not considering other stages of life. The same woman would be described quite differently, I’m convinced, if she were being considered right after being newly married,13 or while pregnant, or when her kids were babies, or when she was old. This passage is not describing a poor woman, of low social standing. That is really important for you ladies to remember. Most of you aren’t wealthy, by our culture’s standards. Most of you probably don’t fit into the upper echelon of society. And there are women in this building from every stage of life. This passage is focused on one stage oflife, a certain kind of woman with certain resources. We’re goingto look carefully at how to apply this passage generally and correctly, regardless of your circumstances.

10 There is a really helpful and brief reflection by a woman on reading Proverbs 31 at http://www.churchleaders.com/pastors/pastor-articles/161344-aubry_smith_why_i_hate_the_proverbs_31_woman.html?p=1

11 Cf. O’Donnell, Beginning, pg. 52, who writes, “This is, after all, an idealized portrait in which all blemishes have been intentionally and artistically left out.”

12 Cf. Wolters, “ṣôpiyyâ,” pg. 428, who writes, “Rather, the poem reads much like an impressionistic painting. Viewed up close, the individual brushstrokes seem scattered and haphazard, but from a step or two away, dots and splatters merge to become the cumulative image of a woman.”

13 Cf. Hawkins, “Wife of Noble Character,” pg. 21, who points out, “First, no young bride can possibly fulfill all that is pictured in this poem before developing the maturity that comes only with time. This portrait looks at the finished product, not at a young woman entering marriage. It reflects the cumulative effect of a life lived wisely.”

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Third, the qualities described are for everyone, male or female, rich or poor, old or young. All of them are lauded or commanded for all of God’s people in other passages in Proverbs and throughout Scripture.

Let me make one more introductory statement to the ladies who have a history with this passage. The homemaker wife is not more biblical than the career woman. It is not more biblical or more godly for a woman to stay home and not pursue a career than for awoman who chooses to pursue a career outside the home. The praisein this poem for this wife involves her working outside of the home. So, let’s be sure to check our attitudes towards other women; let none of us look down on a woman who chooses to work outside the home, and let none of us look down on a woman who chooses to stay at home. Neither is more godly. God’s design for both women and men is that they work and that they work bringing glory to him; this passage is mostly about the heart attitude of the wife characterized by God’s Wisdom.

So, after too long an introduction, let’s get into the passage. First, let me make a few comments about the structure. I mentioned already that this is a poem, a song. It is incredibly artistic, and it is made up of two major poetic features that help us understand the meaning. First, the poem is an acrostic inHebrew. That is, the first word of verse 10 begins with the firstletter of the Hebrew alphabet. Then, the first word of verse 11 begins with the second letter of the Hebrew alphabet. And so on all the way through the 22nd and final letter of the Hebrew alphabet. This is very difficult to bring into English, and no major English translations attempt it. However, I gave it a shot,and what you have in your bulletins is my attempt to paraphrase the poem, bringing out the acrostic in English letters, A-V. That’s not in any way a literal translation, but I think it communicates the meaning of each verse sufficiently well. The point of making the poem an acrostic communicates a certain comprehensiveness to the characterization of this wife and her wisdom.

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Second, the poem has been crafted as a chiasm.14 That is, the poem has been shaped with a mid-point in mind. Everything before the mid-point moves toward it, and everything after the mid-pointmoves away from it, and each section before the mid-point has a parallel section after the mid-point. Does everybody follow that?It creates a V-shape to the poem that identifies the main idea ofthe poem in the middle. Many students of Scripture have recognized this, but different folks draw out the parallels in different ways.15 You can see in your sermon notes the way I understand the shape of the poem.

A. High value of a wife of strength (v. 10)B. Her husband benefited by wife (vv. 11-12)

C. Her industrious work [elaborated] (vv. 13-19)D. She shares resources (v. 20)

E. She is fearless (v. 21)F. She makes the best clothing (v. 22)

G. Her husband’s public reputation (v. 23)F.’ She sells the best clothing (v. 24)

E.’ She is fearless (v. 25)D.’ She shares truth (v. 26)

C.’ Her industrious work [summarized] (v. 27)B.’ Her husband and children praise wife (vv. 28-29)

A.’ High value of a wife of strength (vv. 30-31)

With this in mind, surprisingly, the mid-point is verse 23...which is all about the husband!16 So, this sermon will be quite different from other sermons, in that I’d like to take the parallel sections of the chiasm together. So, we’ll begin by looking at verses 10-12 and 28-31 together, and we’ll proceed toward the middle.

14 Cf. Garrett, Proverbs, pg. 248, who refers to the combination in a single poem of acrostic and chiasm as “astounding.”

15 My understanding of the chiasm is closest to that of O’Donnell, Beginning, pg. 50.

16 Cf. O’Donnell, Beginning, pg. 51, who writes, “‘She’ might be the main character, but ‘he’ is the author’s audience.” And cf. Garrett, Proverbs, pg. 248, who writes, “Far from being an intrusion, however, v. 23 actually establishes the central message of the poem: this women is the kind of wife a man needs in order to be successful in life.”

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Verses 10-12 serve as an introduction, and verses 28-31 serve as a conclusion. The focus of these sections is the value of a strong wife. Look at verses 10-12: An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She doeshim good, and not harm, all the days of her life. Here’s the point of these introductory verses: Wisdom’s value is found in adding value to others. The word translated by the ESV as “excellent” is translated by lots of different English words in different English translations: “noble,”17 “capable,”18 “virtuous,”19 “worthy,”20 “good.”21 The word has the basic meaning of “strength,”22 and it is most often applied to men in military contexts, but it also sometimes refers to someone having great skill,23 and at least once it refers to someone being spirituallymature.24 The only historical woman in Scripture who is describedby this phrase is Ruth,25 who, interestingly enough, when she wascalled this by Boaz, was not wealthy, had no children, was not married, and was, in fact, a destitute widow. Yet, Boaz and all the townsfolk recognized the qualities of God’s Wisdom in Ruth. She was a woman of strength.

Her value is described as “more precious than jewels.” This is also the way Solomon described Lady Wisdom in Prov. 3:15: She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.

Notice that verse 11 says that “her husband trusts in her.” The phrase “trusts in” is used around 70 times in the Old Testament. More than half of those refer to trusting in Yahweh, trusting in

17 NIV, NET.18 HCSB, NRSV.19 KJV, NKJV.20 NAB.21 NCV.22 Cf. Steinmann, Proverbs, pg. 635, who observes that all three ideas

conveyed by this word normally for men throughout the Old Testament are present in this poem about the wife of strength.

23 Gen. 47:6.24 Exod. 18:21, 25.25 Ruth 3:11.

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God. In all of those other passages, this is the only verse in all of the Old Testament where an author commends trusting in anyone or anything other than God. How highly exalted the wife isin this verse! The word “trusts” means more specifically finding security, feeling safe. One of the most famous verses in Proverbsuses this phrase, Prov. 3:5-6: Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Trustin Yahweh. But here the husband should trust in his strong wife, “make himself totally vulnerable to her,” and find that he is safe and secure in her care.26

Now, let’s skip down to verses 28-31 to see the parallel conclusion: Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears Yahweh is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. “Call her blessed”; this means to congratulate her,to cheer for her. For those of you who aren’t yet married, make ahabit of congratulating your mother, so that when you men get married you’ll be well-practiced at congratulating the most important woman in your life and you can more easily transition into praising your wife. And husbands, teach your children to congratulate their mother; you must model this and teach this to your kids. They won’t do it automatically.

Ladies, learn to receive praise humbly, giving God credit for your successes, and fight the comparison temptation. And husbands, lavish your wife with praise, and speak well of her publicly and to your friends. That’s what it means to “let her works praise her in the gates,” in the public square. View her asthe “helper fit for you” that God has made her to be, and tell her all the ways you see God working in her life.

God’s Wisdom begins with the fear of Yahweh, a right relationshipwith God, in which you see God as he truly is, yourself as you

26 Tremper Longman III, Proverbs (Baker Commentary on the Old Testament Wisdom and Psalms; Grand Rapids, MI: Baker, 2006), pg. 543.

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really are, and the gap between. For those in Christ, we also must see the way God has bridged that gap for us. When we praise each other, men and women, we should focus attention on our faithand our living out of faith. Ladies, cultivate and prioritize your relationship with Jesus, above your physical appearance. As Peter wrote in 1 Pet. 3:3-4, Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. And men, focus your praise and assessment of women on the basis of their faith more than on their appearance. Throughout other ancient literature, when women were praised it was because of their physical appearance and sex appeal. God’s Wisdom as reflected in the Bible corrects this by highlighting a woman’s strength based on other aspects of her identity.27 However, it’s important to remember that a woman’s sexuality is important as well; emphasis is given to this in another “wisdom book” in Scripture: the Song of Solomon.

All of the qualities that we’re about to see in this “wife of strength” are grounded in and flow out from “the fear of Yahweh.”28 God’s Wisdom produces this kind of strength, and the fear of Yahweh is the beginning of wisdom, as Prov. 9:10 says.

So, young single men, you should be asking yourself right now: Where can I get me one of those?? Prov. 19:14 points to the answer: House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from Yahweh. She, like God’s Wisdom itself, is a gift from God. Young single women, you should be asking yourself right now: How can I ever be one of those?? Let me go ahead and give a hint of an answer to that question for you ladies. How canyou ever be “strong” like this? Here’s a clue from an unexpected

27 Raymond C. Van Leeuwen, “Proverbs,” in The New Interpreter’s Bible: Volume V (edited by Leander E. Keck et al; Nashville: Abingdon, 1997), pg. 263.

28 Cf. Kwon, “Wisdom Incarnate,” pg. 183, who writes, “The fear of Yahweh is not separated from the mundane things of life, but becomes the source of all the virtues described in the poem. The fear of Yahweh pervades the activities of her life and even saturates the mundane activities as godly virtues.”

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place; look at Rom. 4:20-21 on the screen; this is referring to Abraham, but I think it applies to you ladies just as much as it does to anyone else: No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. Abraham “grew strong” or “was strengthened” “as he gaveglory to God.” Grounded in the fear of Yahweh, a right relationship with God, as you give glory to God, pointing to him with your actions and giving him credit for your successes and growth, you will find your faith being strengthened, totally by his grace. We’ll see more on this question in just a bit.

Oh, and husbands, you ought to be asking yourself, in light of these summary words regarding the “wife of strength”: How can I help my wife be one of those? You play an important role in cultivating the faith of your wife, so that she may become and remain a “wife of strength.”29 Let me remind you of this from Paul’s words in Eph. 5:25-28: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Christ loved the church with the goal of sanctifying her, making her holy. I think Paul here implies that husbands ought to be cultivating holiness in their wives when he says “in the same way husbands should love their wives.” In the same way, with the same goal. Wives, when you feel burdened by not measuring up to some standard, remember, among other things, that your husband has a role to play in helping you grow in holiness. Don’t think you should be or can be holy on your own.

So, when we follow the flow of this poem, it seems to me that there are actually only 4 qualities the poet highlights. Each quality is repeated from a different angle after the mid-point ofthe poem. So, let’s take each of these qualities of a strong

29 Cf. Raymond C. Ortlund, Jr., Proverbs: Wisdom That Works (Preaching the Word; Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2012), pg. 150.

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wife, one at a time. First, we’ll see that she is a wise, hard worker. Look at verses 13-19: She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. Sheconsiders a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her handsto the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. Now, look down atverse 27, which summarizes more succinctly her hard-working approach to life: She looks well to the ways of her household anddoes not eat the bread of idleness.

The point of these verses is simply that she works hard and she works smart. And, she works for the benefit of others, particularly her family. She rises early and she retires late. Now, again, remember that this is a poem focused on a very specific stage of life and type of woman. It also highlights her strength and ignores any weaknesses. Did she always rise early and go to bed late? Surely not. Did she ever sleep in? Probably occasionally. Was the purchase of a field and the planting of a vineyard a weekly occurrence? Probably not; it might even have been a once-in-a-lifetime deal. But, that’s the point; she saw the opportunity and made the best of it.

The attitude toward her work is what is highlighted, but you might miss it in the midst of the detailed description. Notice the second phrase in verse 13: she “works with willing hands.” More literally, we might translate that as “she works in the delight of her hands.” That is, she delights in her work. She sees its value for her family. Though it may cost her sleep and resources and time and physical weariness, she delights in her work because of the benefit it brings to her family.

What can we draw out from this quality? First, young single men, listen up: Value highly a strong work ethic and prudence in women. Don’t ignore laziness in a physically pretty woman. You want a wife who “does not eat the bread of idleness,” the bread

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of the sluggard.30 Young single women: you too should value highly a strong work ethic and seek to make prudent decisions. Learn to handle money responsibly. Whatever you find yourself interested and talented in, pursue excellence and always seek to do your best, knowing that your labors are never in vain, when you’re working for the Lord (1 Cor. 15:58). And use your talents and your resources to benefit others. Husbands: enable your wife to do what she’s good at and what she enjoys. Encourage her in her endeavors; sacrifice your time and resources to enable her tomaximize her potential. And wives: work hard and take responsibility in whatever areas of family life you can best handle, for the sake of your family. Also, cultivate financially responsible habits. Work hard; work smart; and work together, husbands and wives to care for each other and for your family. Finally, remember that it is God’s Wisdom that enables all of us to work hard and to work responsibly.

Next, look at verse 20: She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. Then, skip down to verse 26: She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. So, these two verses are about sharing; on the onehand, the wife of strength shares her resources, and on the otherhand she shares truth, especially God’s Word. The phrase “teaching of kindness” in verse 26 is translated in some versionsas “loving instruction.”31 Both of those words are covenant words. “Instruction” is torah, which is often translated “law” inthe Old Testament, and “kindness” is hesed, which is the idea of “loyal love” or “covenant devotion.” It’s often translated “steadfast love” or “lovingkindness.” Paul’s idea of “speaking the truth in love” captures the phrase perfectly, I think.

So, single young men: Value highly the generosity of women, and value highly the theological development of women. Encourage female friends to attend Bible studies and to develop healthy devotional habits. Be impressed with women who talk about Jesus

30 Cf. Garrett, Proverbs, pg. 250, who observes regarding verse 15, “Arising before dawn obviously implies that she has none of the vices of the sluggard.”

31 NET, HCSB.14

to other people and who speak the truth in love, even hard truths. Single young women: Remember that God has given you resources to share, not to hoard. And cultivate healthy devotional habits. I must quote the eminently respectable Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice here; commenting on the “accomplishments of women,” he insists “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”32 To help in this, I have added many books to our church library that I have carefully selected that will bring great spiritual profit to any who would read them. Some of them are featured on a spinning display in the atrium. Ladies, cultivate the life of your mind by studying the Scriptures and theology, and speak often about Jesus in all of your relationships.

Husbands: make time so that your wife can volunteer at a community ministry, if she would like to. Encourage your wife to give things and money away; when she suggests that you give something away to someone in need, never resent her generosity, even if you feel the need to resist a particular occasion of it. Do everything you can to equip your wife to know the Scriptures. Take her to church, read Scripture with her, free her up to read the Bible on her own. Buy her books and give her time to read them; read books with her; take her to Bible studies, or watch the kids while she goes. Talk about Jesus with her daily. Wives: see the people around you and hold your possessions loosely, ready to give things and money away as God provides opportunities. And, as with the single women, cultivate the life of your mind by studying the Scriptures and theology, and speak often about Jesus in all of your relationships.

We see here that God’s Wisdom leads us to be generous and to speak the truth in love. As God’s Wisdom shapes our thinking, we will hold our possessions loosely and speak boldly of Jesus.

Next, we see that the wife of strength is fearless. Look at verse21: She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. And, look at verse 25: Strength

32 Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (London: 1813), Kindle edition, pg. 21.15

and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.She is fearless because she knows that her household is well-taken-care-of, so that she is even able to laugh at whatever the brokenness of this world might throw at her and her family. This fearlessness is rooted deeply in an unwavering faith in God himself.

So, single young men, I encourage you to cultivate a faith in Godthat drives out all fear, including the fear that you’ll never get married, or that you’ll never meet “the right woman.” Encourage that kind of faith in your female friends, too. Seek a woman who recognizes that God will meet her needs. And, single young women, cultivate a faith in God that drives out all fear, including the fear that you’ll never get married, or that you’ll never meet “the right guy.” Cultivate a deep confidence that God will meet your needs.

Husbands, do all that you can to address areas that might cause fear for your wife. Be honest about your own anxieties, but also talk constantly about how God meets your needs. Remind your wife of God’s grace in the past, and speak regularly of your confidence that God will continue meeting all your needs. Wives, make wise decisions with your husband to provide for your family well, and verbally thank and praise God for his provisions. It isGod’s Wisdom that enables all of us to make decisions that prepare for the future, knowing that God will always provide for us.

God’s provision often involves working through what we produce, through the work of our hands. Look at verse 22: She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. And, look at verse 24: She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. These verses show that this woman produces the best of the best and sells them for profit. She’s got a booming business of her own, and the quality of her products is valued highly by foreign traders.

So, what can we draw from this? That women need to be making their own clothes? Certainly not! I mean, they can if they want

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to and they’re good at it, but that’s not the point. Rather, the pursuit of excellence in whatever she chooses to do is in view. So, single young men, encourage the women around you when they excel at something. Value the productivity and resourcefulness ofwomen. And single young women, heed the words of Paul in Col. 3:23-24: Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. Pursue excellence, not for the sake of excellence, but for the sake of the Lord, and though people will praise you for your excellence, don’t work for their praise. Work for their benefit, but not in exchange for their praise. Seek to do the best you canwith whatever gifts, talents, and resources God has given you. Use your productivity to benefit the people around you, but do soknowing that the Lord has guaranteed an inheritance for you. Let that knowledge fuel your efforts.

Husbands, support your wife’s endeavors to be productive; encourage her productivity in the area of her interests and talents. And wives, just like single young women, whatever you set out to do, do it with all of your might, and seek to do the best you can with whatever gifts, talents, and resources God has given you. Use your productivity to benefit the people around you, especially your family. And we see here that God’s Wisdom equips us all to produce good things. Wisdom is often connected to skill in the Old Testament for this very reason.

Well, finally, we come to the mid-point, the climactic point of the passage, verse 23: Her husband is known at the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. The main point of this passagehas to do with the strong wife’s husband’s public reputation. Lemuel’s mother sought to teach her son that he should pursue a wife that would make him look good! Solomon reflected this same idea in Prov. 12:4: An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. This is the only other place in Scripture besides Ruth 3:11 where the phrase “an excellent wife” or “a wife of strength”

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is used. The thrust of the poem is, then, that the man has such agreat reputation because he has such a great wife!33

What does this central point teach us? Well, single young men, understand the value of a good reputation. Prov. 22:1 puts it this way: A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold. Wisdom itself is spoken of similarly in Prov. 16:16: How much better to get wisdom than gold! To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver. Thus, God’s Wisdom purifies and enhances our public reputation.

So, if you single young men understand this, then seek a wife whoencourages you to pursue whatever God calls you to do. Seek a wife who understands the great joy of helping a man navigate thislife under God’s loving rule. In many ways, the “wife of strength” being poetically described here is a reflection of God’s original design for marriage. When God announced, “It is not good that the man should be alone,” he then declared the remedy in Gen. 2:18: I will make a helper fit for him. He could have said, “I will make a wife of strength for him.” The self-forgetfulness of wisdom is reflected in the self-forgetfulness ofthe wife of strength. As she works to benefit her husband and herfamily, as she embraces her God-designed role as a helper for herhusband, the fullness of satisfaction, joy, and wholeness is available to her. In light of that, young single women, see God’scalling to be the “helper” of a man as noble and excellent, and recognize that it will take a “strong woman” shaped by God’s Wisdom to live out that calling well.

What about us married couples? Does this then let the husbands sit back, smug and contented, while the wives serve us? Absolutely, unequivocally not. Husbands, verbally acknowledge your wife’s role in building your reputation, your “public image,” and help her see specific ways she can help you live out what you perceive God has called you to do.34 When you receive

33 Point observed by Garrett, quoted by O’Donnell, Beginning, pg. 185 n. 21.

34 Cf. John MacArthur, Different by Design: Discovering God’s Will for Today’s Man and Woman (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1996), pg. 77, who writes, “That means he is esteemed and respected by his peers, in part because she created a world

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praise or public acknowledgment from peers, give thanks to God ina way that acknowledges how he uses your wife to make you all that you are. The wise husbands in the room will readily admit that their wives are the best part of them. I can say that without blinking. If any of you have ever thought nice things about me, if any of you have ever received any benefit from my preaching or teaching, give thanks to God. Yes, give thanks to God for the benefits, for the ways he might use my efforts, but don’t forget to give thanks for my Tamara, because without her bymy side, without her encouragement, without her correction, without her affection, without her companionship, I’d be more of a fool than I am.

So, where have we been? What does this passage teach all of us. It’s really about God’s Wisdom and how it affects the lives of God’s people.35 God’s Wisdom produces the strength, the excellence this passage describes. God’s Wisdom enables us to work hard and to work responsibly. God’s Wisdom leads us to be generous and to speak the truth in love. God’s Wisdom enables us to make decisions that prepare for the future, knowing that God will always provide for us. God’s Wisdom equips us to produce good things. And God’s Wisdom shapes our public reputation.

If that’s all true, how do we get God’s Wisdom? Prov. 2:1-6 helpsus see how to get God’s Wisdom. Turn there with me. Proverbs 2:1-6: My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of Yahweh and find the knowledge of God.

for him in which he could be everything God wanted him to be. Her life can best be described as selfless—her husband’s good consumes her. That’s why she loves to serve him.”

35 Cf. Hawkins, “Wife of Noble Character,” pg. 19, who writes, “In keeping with descriptions throughout the Book of Proverbs, this culminating picture reinforces the thought that anyone whose character, commitment, godliness, and productivity replicate the qualities of this woman has learned to live wisely.”

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For Yahweh gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

Let’s see four things about this passage. First, God’s Wisdom comes from God’s Word. Verses 1-2 says that we must receive his words, treasure up his commandments, listen carefully to wisdom, and inclining our hearts to understanding. God’s Wisdom is rootedin God’s Word, so we receive God’s Wisdom by reading and hearing and turning our hearts toward and treasuring God’s Word. Second, we must ask for God’s Wisdom. Verse 3 refers to calling out for it and raising our voices for it. James 1:5 echoes this verse: Ifany of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously toall without reproach, and it will be given him. Third, we must seek for God’s Wisdom diligently. Verse 4 depicts the pursuit of God’s Wisdom as the task of a gold-miner, digging for hidden treasure. It’s worth the effort! Finally, verses 5-6 tell us thatGod gives wisdom as a gift through his Word. The pursuit, the digging, the asking, enables us to find the fear of Yahweh; but, we were looking for wisdom. Ah, but the fear of Yahweh must come first, for the fear of Yahweh is the beginning of all knowledge and wisdom. You can’t get true wisdom without being rightly related to God, knowing him intimately. Why is the pursuit and the asking worth it? Because Yahweh gives wisdom. He is its source and he gives it freely to whomever he wills, based totallyon his free grace. He doesn’t give wisdom as a reward for our efforts, but he gives wisdom to those who put forward the effort.And, the source of God’s Wisdom is more particularly “his mouth,”that is, his Word. If you want God’s Wisdom, you’ve got to dig inGod’s Word, and you’ve got to ask God to give it to you.

To conclude, let’s look at one more angle on Prov. 31. This passage gives us a picture of the kind of person God’s Wisdom produces: selflessly hard-working, generous, speaking God’s Word,fearless, benefitting others, and enhancing the reputation of others. If this is a picture of God’s Wisdom as well as the kind of person God’s Wisdom produces, perhaps we can even see here a picture of Jesus. This makes sense because Col. 2:3 tells us thatin Christ are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. So, where is the gold-mine located? Where do we dig? We dig into

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Christ himself. Then how does Jesus embody this passage even better than the woman who is its original subject?

Jesus is selflessly hard-working. He accomplished the work that his Father gave him to do,36 providing eternal life for those whotrust him.37 Jesus is lavishly generous. He gives life to the world.38 Jesus speaks God’s Word. He didn’t speak on his own authority, but his Father told him “what to say and what to speak.”39 Jesus said that he had given his disciples God’s Word.40

Jesus was fearless. Just a few days before he was crucified, he said, Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? “Father, save me from this hour”? But for this purpose I have come to thishour.41 Troubled, yes; fearful, no, in the face of a more terrifying ordeal than any of us could imagine. Jesus consistently benefits others. He gave his flesh “for the life of the world,”42 so that “whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”43 Jesus even enhances the reputation of others. After he completes the harvest of judgment at the end of the age, “the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom oftheir Father,”44 and believers will reign with Jesus45 on the earth46 because Jesus ransomed people for God by his blood, according to Rev. 5:9.

So, we remember that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are found in Jesus Christ, and we say with thousands upon thousands of angels gathered around the throne of God in Rev. 5:12, Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing! Amen.

36 John 17:4.37 John 12:49-50.38 John 6:33.39 John 12:49.40 John 17:14.41 John 12:27.42 John 6:51.43 John 3:16.44 Matt. 13:43.45 2 Tim. 2:12.46 Rev. 5:10.

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