THE MIDDLE SCHOOL SCENE BOOK

TheatrefolkOriginal Playscripts

The Middle School Scene Book

EDITED BYLindsay Price

All Scenes

From Published

Plays!

Prepared Exclusively For: Marisa Peck

DO NOT COPY :: Copyrighted Material for perusal purposes. Licensed for one printed copy, personal use. Public performances subject to royalty. See http://www.theatrefolk.com/products/161 for pricing and ordering.

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EDITED BYLindsay Price

All Scenes

From Published

Plays!


Copyright © 2010 Lindsay Price

CAUTION: This play is fully protected under the copyright laws of Canada and all other countries of the Universal Copyright Convention and is subject to royalty. Changes to the script are expressly forbidden without written consent of the author. Rights to produce, film, or record, in whole or in part, in any medium or in any language, by any group amateur or professional, are fully reserved.

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No part of this script covered by the copyrights hereon may be reproduced or used in any form or by any means – graphic, electronic or mechanical – without the prior written permission of the author. Any request for photocopying, recording, or taping shall be directed in writing to the author at the address above.

Printed in the USA ISBN 978-1-926533-20-9




ThE MIDDlE School ScEnE Book 3

Characters ............................................................. Play .........................................................................Page

Two GirlsRamona and Jenny ......................................The Snow Show ..................................................................... 5Meredith and Madame Zoobenka .......waiT waiT Bo BaiT.................................................................12Jan and Tara ....................................................... Ten/Two ......................................................................... 17Jane and The Woman Who Walks ........... JealouSy Jane ......................................................................24Agatha and Eunice ..........................................agaTha Rex .......................................................................28Ashley and Jane ..................................among FRiendS and CluTTeR ........................................................32

One Girl and One GuyBeatrice and Benedick ....................... muCh ado high SChool ............................................................36One and Two ..................................................... Ten/Two .........................................................................40Todd and Stacey.................................................haiRBall .........................................................................45Pete and Nicky .............................. waiT waiT Bo BaiT (mS VeRSion) .....................................................52Nicola and Rick ............................................FooTBall Romeo ...................................................................56Dunno and Fine ................................................ TiCk Talk ........................................................................63

Two GuysJohan and Hans ............................................deCk The STage ...................................................................69Steve and Edgar.........................................waiT waiT Bo BaiT.................................................................75Sam and Pat .....................................................SChool daze......................................................................78Marty and Edwin ...........................................SChool daze......................................................................82

Group ScenesCatherine, Cosette, Julian .................... BeauTy and The Bee ................................................................86Drift, Blue, Ice.............................................The Snow Show ...................................................................91Nicola et al. ...................................................FooTBall Romeo ...................................................................96Monica et al.........................................................oddBall....................................................................... 100

AppendixHints and Tips on Competing with Scenes ....................................................................................... 110

All plays by Lindsay Price & Published by Theatrefolk

Scenes for Two Girls




ScEnES FoR TWo GIRlS 5

Ramona and Jenny

PLAY: The Snow Show

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 4:30

DESCRIPTION

Two friends perform a ritual to make their wishes come true. Though they’ve been doing it for years, only one of the girls truly believes in the ritual anymore.

ACTING HINTS

Ramona is obsessed with catching the first snowflake. She won’t listen to reason. She is so rigid, she comes off as a little crazy. How would this reflect how she talks? Or stands?

Jenny is trying to find a happy medium. She wants to support Ramona, yet have nothing to do with the ritual. Her mind is in a tug-of-war. Show that tug-of-war physically.

There is a big twist in the middle of the scene where suddenly Ramona doesn’t seem so crazy and Jenny becomes supportive. Be clear with the change. Both girls behave differently before and after the twist.

RAMONA and JENNY are doing tongue exercises, sticking their tongue far out and then bringing it back in.

RAMONA: Tongue out. Tongue in. Tongue out. Tongue in. Tongue out.

JENNY: (with her tongue out) This is stupid.

RAMONA: (with her tongue out) No talking! Tongue in. Tongue out, hold, hold, hold… tongue in. Ok. Shake it out. (she shakes her tongue out.)

JENNY: Ramona…

ThE MIDDlE School ScEnE Book6

Ramona and Jenny

RAMONA: No talking! Now, we scan the skies. (she looks up)

JENNY: Ramona.

RAMONA: If you’re talking, you’ll miss it and everything will be ruined.

JENNY: (looking at RAMONA) You’re exaggerating.

RAMONA: Don’t look at me. Look up.

JENNY: But -

RAMONA: Up, up, up!

JENNY: Ok.

They both look up. There is a pause.

JENNY: Ramona. We’re sixteen. We’re not kids. Drew didn’t come today. Or Natalie. Or Madoka. Or Lynn. (Pause. JENNY unleashes.) I could have had a date today Mona. Sam Stevens asked me to go to the movies and I really wanted to go and I’m a terrible liar and he was smiling when I told him about this but it was a thin sickly smile like the smile you give your grandmother when she pinches your cheeks after the seven hundredth time. (she takes a breath) And Sam had a look in his eye, a “she’s crazy” look and boy am I glad she said she couldn’t go ’cause now I can ask Patti Palatino instead and I’ll fall in love with her and take her to prom and we’ll backpack across Europe and I’ll propose to her under the Eiffel tower and we’ll live happily ever after. Ramona look at me!

RAMONA turns slowly to JENNY.

RAMONA: (slowly, firmly) Remember the burrito.

She turns back and continues scanning the sky. JENNY sighs.





Ramona and Jenny

JENNY: I know. I know. I know about the burrito.

RAMONA: (still looking up) Drew does not remember the burrito. Natalie does not remember the burrito.

JENNY: I remember! I’m here, aren’t I?

RAMONA: Madoka and Lynn do not remember the burrito.

JENNY: We’re not kids anymore.

RAMONA: We were though. We were seven years old. (she poses) It was the first day of winter.

JENNY: (looking at RAMONA) Ramona, I know the story. I was there.

RAMONA: Eyes up! I am telling the tale.

JENNY: (looking up) What if Sam Stevens really does marry Patti Palatino? Where will I be then?

RAMONA: It was the first day of winter. We were seven years old.

JENNY: (she’s heard this many times before) It was Natalie’s birthday sleepover party.

RAMONA: And we ran outside to catch the first snowflake of the first snowfall on the first day of winter.

JENNY: And when you catch the first snowflake of the first snowfall, on the first day of winter…

RAMONA: …any wish you make will come true.

JENNY: And we stood in Natalie’s backyard.

RAMONA: Ramona, Jenny, Drew, Madoka, Lynn, and Natalie.

JENNY: Best friends till the end.


Ramona and Jenny

RAMONA: Our heads thrown back, our arms open wide, tongues out.

JENNY: And we all made the same wish on the first snowflake.

RAMONA: And what did we wish for?

JENNY: (with a sigh) Burritos.

RAMONA: And what did we have for dinner?

JENNY: Burritos.

RAMONA: And did we know we were having burritos?

JENNY: It could have been a coincidence, it -

RAMONA: And did we know we were having burritos?

JENNY: No.

RAMONA: And did we not make a pact, a double-spit high-hand shoulder-slap double-hip pact to come together during the first snowfall on the first day of winter to catch the first snowflake?

JENNY: Mona, I don’t spit anymore. It’s gross.

RAMONA shoves JENNY.

RAMONA: Non believers!!! All of you! We caught the first snowflake and that wish came true and we wished for burritos! Burritos. We could have had money, fame, guys, health, happiness! It happened once, it has to happen again. But you, you needers of your instant gratification, you drowning in your lack of faith, you dropping out one by one by one,

JENNY: Did you just add guys to the list?





Ramona and Jenny

RAMONA: (carrying on) You couldn’t wait. I know it wasn’t a burrito coincidence. It was worlds colliding to create a magical wish euphoria! The first day of winter, the first snowfall, the first snowflake; it can’t be a one time thing. It can’t, it just -

JENNY: Do you want a boyfriend, Ramona?

RAMONA: (stopped in her tracks) What?

JENNY: Well, I’ve been hearing this first snowflake wish euphoria speech for years now: money, fame, health, happiness, and now… guys?

RAMONA: So? Maybe I’m changing things up. I am human, you know. I’m not a robot. What do you want?

JENNY: (amazed) Ramona St. Pierre.

RAMONA: Oh shut up.

JENNY: You’re looking for a date.

RAMONA: What? So. So what? It’s nothing. Don’t be ridiculous. (pause) I was looking at prom dresses.

JENNY: (gleeful) Ramona St. Pierre!

RAMONA: Shut up!

JENNY: You’re a girl! You want to go to prom!

RAMONA: (staring up) Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I’m a girl.

JENNY: This is a happy day.

RAMONA: I’m not talking about this anymore. We’ll miss the first snowflake and it’ll be all your fault.

JENNY: Do you like mermaid or A-line?


Ramona and Jenny

RAMONA: Eyes up, eyes up!

JENNY: Do you know what colour?

RAMONA: No talking!

JENNY: I think Taylor Levine likes you.

RAMONA: Remember the burrito or go away. I can do this on my own if I have to.

JENNY: I’m not going anywhere. (pumping a fist into the air) Burrito forever! Viva Burrito!

RAMONA: Well. That’s excessive.

There’s a pause. They’re both looking up. RAMONA has a fierce look of concentration. JENNY is grinning like an idiot. RAMONA does not look at JENNY and speaks very quickly.

RAMONA: Silver satin empire with a beaded bodice and a bow on the back. If you’re asking. And Taylor Levine is very cute.

JENNY: I didn’t say anything.

RAMONA: Good.

JENNY: Silver would look good on you.

RAMONA: I thought you weren’t saying anything.

JENNY: I can talk to Taylor in English if you want. (she sees something in the sky)

RAMONA: Burrito Jenny, Burrito!

JENNY: Ramona, look!

RAMONA: No talking!





Ramona and Jenny

JENNY: Look at the sky. At the clouds. That’s a snow sky.

RAMONA: What?

JENNY: That’s a snow sky. It’s going to snow. The first snowflake of the first snowfall on the first day of winter. This is it!

RAMONA: Holy cow.

JENNY: (grabbing RAMONA’s hand) I’m wishing for you Ramona.

RAMONA: I need all the help I can get. Head back. Tongue out.

JENNY & RAMONA: (with tongues out) Burrito, Burrito, Burrito!


Meredith and Madame Zoobenka

PLAY: Wait Wait Bo Bait

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 3:30

DESCRIPTION

The setting is a fortune teller’s salon. Meredith is determined to get the answer to a very important question.

ACTING HINTS

Both characters are fakes to a certain degree. Madame Zoobenka fakes an accent (and perhaps her fortunes) and Meredith has a “fake” relationship while unrealistically waiting for the man of her dreams. Show both sides of the characters in the scene: their fake personas, and what lies beneath.

Is this the first time Meredith has gone to a fortune teller?

Think about who your ideal man is. Would you wait for a fantasy or are you more realistic?

MEREDITH enters slowly.

MADAME ZOOBENKA: (using an Eastern European accent) Come in. Come in. What do you want to know? Madame Zoobenka sees all.

MEREDITH: Thank you. I just have one question.

MADAME ZOOBENKA: Madame Zoobenka knows all.

MEREDITH: What I want to know is –

MADAME ZOOBENKA: (interrupting) Cash up front, honey. $24.50 including tax. (MEREDITH pays) What is it? What do you want to know? Your hands are very descriptive. Your face has interesting shadows. This is going to be a most fascinating






session. Ask your question and Madame Zoobenka will answer. She will tell all.

MEREDITH: Ok. (She takes a deep breath) Ok. This is what I want to know. How long am I supposed to wait for the man of my dreams?

MADAME ZOOBENKA: Come again?

MEREDITH: My Prince Charming. My knight in shining armour. The one who’s going to sweep me off my feet and make me happy for the rest of my life. How long am I supposed to wait?

MADAME ZOOBENKA: You watch too much TV.

MEREDITH: You’re supposed to see into the future. So look into the future and tell me when he’s going to come.

MADAME ZOOBENKA: Oh honey. Here, take your money back. Go put an ad in the paper. Better yet, stand on a street corner with a sign: “Wanted: One man of dreams.” You’ll be farther ahead than anything I can tell you.

MEREDITH: Chad said you could tell me. Chad said you were the best.

MADAME ZOOBENKA: (losing accent) Chad gets paid to say that. Look. I can do wealth and prosperity. I can do great romance and when’s the best time of year to buy a house. I can usually make a stab at children. But how long you should wait for the man of your dreams? If I could do that do you think I’d be sitting here? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for the man of my dreams? It ain’t been a minute and it ain’t been pretty.

MEREDITH: What happened to your accent?



MADAME ZOOBENKA: Huh? Oh that’s just for show. The future is easier to believe when it comes from Eastern Europe. Don’t ask me why; I just follow the trends.

MEREDITH: Well this is no good. I mean if I had a timeline - you will wait x number of years and then open the door, I’d be willing to wait. For the man of my dreams I’m willing to wait. My mother always said, “Don’t settle. Don’t give away your dreams. I settled for a car salesman and I’ve been kicking myself ever since.”

MADAME ZOOBENKA: Used or new?

MEREDITH: Used.

MADAME ZOOBENKA: The poor dear.

MEREDITH: But now, I don’t know. It’s so unpredictable. And it’s so unfair to Sherm.

MADAME ZOOBENKA: Who’s Sherm?

MEREDITH: My boyfriend.

MADAME ZOOBENKA: Hold the phone. Hold the phone. Why are you looking for a white knight when you already have a Sherm? You’re here with your don’t-settle-for-a-car-salesman sob story and you have a Sherm? Do you know how many people out there are waiting for a knight and have no back-up Sherm to lean on?

MEREDITH: Sherm is great, don’t get me wrong. He’s sweet and kind and he loves me and –

MADAME ZOOBENKA: And?

MEREDITH: He’s short. My friends make fun of me all the time. He can barely kiss me without standing on tiptoe. He’s not man-of-my-dreams material. He’s not the one I’ve been waiting for.






MADAME ZOOBENKA: How do you know?

MEREDITH: His name is Sherm! The man of your dreams doesn’t get off a horse and say, “Hello. My name is Sherm.” It doesn’t work like that.

MADAME ZOOBENKA: (standing up) You watch way too much TV.

MEREDITH: Hey. Where are you going? What about my future!

MADAME ZOOBENKA: I’ve just seen the light. I’m going to get my Mel.

MEREDITH: Who’s Mel?

MADAME ZOOBENKA: Mel wants to marry me. I’ve been putting him off and putting him off ’cause I’ve been waiting too. Only I’ve been waiting for one of those tall, dark and handsome types. Someone who drives a motorcycle and has long curly hair.

MEREDITH: You see. You know what you want. My mother was right. Why settle?

MADAME ZOOBENKA: ’Cause this whole wait for the man of your dreams thing is crackers in your head. Who says the man of your dreams is going to come? What if you wait forever and you lose your Sherm and I lose my Mel and we’re both bitter old women, the kind with lots of cats and dust balls for company. Kids on the street will pass by our houses and snicker. I do not want that to happen to me. I’m going to marry a man who loves me and I love him and who cares if he has a lisp and a handlebar moustache and likes Country and Western? Do you love your Sherm?

MEREDITH: Yes but –

MADAME ZOOBENKA: Neh, Neh, Neh. Do you love your Sherm?



MEREDITH: Of course I do.

MADAME ZOOBENKA: Then stop whinging and stop waiting for a man who’s living in your head. I will wait no longer. (calling out as she leaves) Mel! Mel! Fire up the station wagon and the Johnny Cash. We’re going to Vegas.

MEREDITH: (running after) Wait! Wait!





Jan and Tara

PLAY: Pretty Girl/Plain Girl (Ten/Two)

GENRE: Serio-Comedy

TIME: 4:00

DESCRIPTION

Jan is a typically plain girl. Tara is typically pretty. Jan tries to step out of her box by preparing for a beauty pageant.

ACTING HINTS

Both girls appear to live up to stereotype: pretty girls participate in beauty pageants and plain girls don’t. When we first meet Tara, her bad attitude is expected. But it turns out her personality is completely different! Tara is very supportive of Jan. What kind of gestures can Tara do to show support? Perhaps a reassuring hand on Jan’s shoulder would work.

Jan really wants to be in the pageant! But she’s also very insecure. Play the contrast between determination and insecurity.

TARA is sitting in a chair, filing her nails. Jan enters and walks tentatively up to her.

JAN: Hi.

TARA: (with disgust) What?

JAN: Is this the registration desk for the Galaxy Girl Pageant?

TARA: What?

JAN: Is this the registration desk for the Galaxy Girl Pageant?

TARA: What if it is?

JAN: I’d like to register.

TARA: You? You want to be in the pageant?


Jan and Tara

JAN: Yes.

TARA laughs.

JAN What’s so funny?

TARA: What do you think you’re doing?

JAN: Registering for the Galaxy Girl Pageant.

TARA: You can’t register.

JAN: Why not?

TARA: Look at you.

JAN: What?

TARA: It’s obvious. Look!

JAN: I still don’t see why –

TARA: Look at the difference between us. I am clearly a ten. You are clearly a two. (pointing at herself ) Ten. (pointing at JAN) Two. Tens enter beauty pageants. Twos don’t. Now get out.

JAN slumps her shoulders and slowly turns away. TARA immediately changes her demeanour, leaps up, looks worried and runs to block JAN.

TARA: Jan, are you ok? Are you ok? That was too much. I told you it would be too much. See, I told you.

JAN: (not that fine) No, I’m fine. I’m fine. I just need to sit down.

She sits down. TARA continues to flutter around her.

TARA: You can’t look crushed like that. A pageant girl sees that look on your face and she’ll go in for the kill.

JAN: They’ll really be that mean?





Jan and Tara

TARA: I was just getting started.

JAN: (slumping her shoulders again) Oh.

TARA: See, you’re not up for this.

JAN: I am, I am. You’re doing the right thing. I need to be prepared. Let’s go again.

TARA: I don’t understand why you need to do it at all.

JAN: I told you.

TARA: Yeah, and it doesn’t get any less crazy the more you say it.

JAN: I want to be a girl.

TARA: News flash. You’re a girl.

JAN: A girly girl.

TARA: Trust me, it’s no great shakes.

JAN: Just once. A girly girl. I know it’s not in my future so I want to make sure it happens.

TARA: Still sounds crazy.

JAN: I don’t want to look back on my life and regret I never tried to be girly.

TARA: Can’t you just go to prom? Get a nice dress; I’ll do your hair. I’ll even nominate you for Prom Queen. Isn’t that enough?

JAN: This is what I want to do.

TARA: But a beauty pageant? They’ll humiliate you!

JAN: I can take it.

TARA: You can’t. You don’t have a thick skin.


Jan and Tara

JAN: If I practice I can make it tougher. (she stands) I’m ready, insult me again.

TARA: (sits) I can’t. I can’t see that look on your face.

JAN: I’m going to practice my walk.

JAN puts on a pair of high heels. She teeters around unsuccessfully.

JAN: I can do this. Thousands of girls enter pageants.

TARA: Yeah and thousands don’t.

JAN: Don’t you have a date tonight?

TARA: Huh? Oh, I cancelled.

JAN: Why?

TARA: Because you asked me to help you.

JAN: But you had a date.

TARA: I was just going to watch Dean and Frick and Frack watch basketball. Trust me, I can do that any time.

JAN: Won’t Dean get mad?

TARA: He better not. He’s not that special.

JAN: Don’t you love him?

TARA: Oh, sure. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t worry about it.

JAN turns and stares at TARA.

JAN: Tara, you are not normal.

TARA: Why?





Jan and Tara

JAN: You don’t want me to be in a pageant. You cancelled on your boyfriend instead of me. You’re supposed to dump me for a guy. You’re supposed to dump me, period.

TARA: (puzzled) Dump you how?

JAN: I wish you’d just hurry up and get it over with.

TARA: Get what over with?

JAN: The writing’s on the wall. You’ll talk to me a little less, and a little less and then one day you’ll stop talking to me altogether. You won’t even look at me in the halls. We won’t be friends anymore. It’ll be like we never were friends.

TARA: That’s ridiculous.

JAN: Selene doesn’t think so.

TARA turns to JAN.

TARA: When did you –

JAN: In the bathrooms on the second floor. I was in a stall when you came in. I heard what she said about me. I’m plain. Boring. Not worth hanging out with.

TARA: And did you hear what I said? I stood up for you!

JAN: But how long will that go on?

TARA: You should have come out. We could have stood up to her together.

JAN: What’s the point? She’s popular and pretty. I’m going to be a scientist and that is as far away from pretty as it gets. You know just as well as I do there’s a gap bigger than the Grand Canyon between the Selene’s and the me’s of the world. You can’t hover in the middle. You have to pick a side.


Jan and Tara

TARA: And you think I would pick her over you?

JAN: It’s not your fault. It’s inevitable. It’s the way things have worked since the beginning of time. ( JAN teeters) Oh crap.

JAN windmills her arms, has trouble with her balance, and knocks TARA.

JAN: Double crap!

TARA: Watch out!

JAN crashes to the floor.

TARA: Are you all right?

JAN: I think the heels won.

TARA: Take those stupid things off.

TARA grabs a foot and JAN cries out.

TARA: Oh oh.

JAN: Oh oh is right. (she touches her ankle, hissing in pain) I think I did some damage.

TARA: Do you want to stay on the floor or go to the chair?

JAN: Chair.

TARA helps JAN up. They start hobbling to the chair.

TARA: I hate to disappoint you, but I don’t do what Selene tells me.

JAN: But what if she stops being your friend?

TARA: Then she wasn’t worth it to begin with.

JAN: Don’t you read magazines? You’re not supposed to think for yourself! You are totally abnormal.





Jan and Tara

TARA gets JAN in the chair.

TARA: So what are you saying? If you were pretty and I was plain, you’d dump me as a friend?

JAN: No. I don’t think so. I don’t know. If you’re going to do it to me, just do it. Ok? Don’t spare my feelings. Rip that friendship off like a Band-Aid.

TARA: Sorry to disappoint you but… (she’s been studying JAN’s foot) You really did a number on this.

JAN: How am I going to compete in the pageant?

TARA: You don’t have to! I don’t care what you look like. I don’t care what Selene says you look like.

JAN: (almost crying) I care.

There is a pause as the girls look at each other.

TARA: You’ll wear flats.

JAN: Everyone else will be in heels.

TARA: There are these flats in Stanbrooks. I saw them last week. Pointy toe, thin, sort of pink, sort of mauve; very pretty. They’ll look great and you’ll be able to walk. We can go tomorrow if you want.

JAN: What about Dean?

TARA: They won’t fit, but they’d probably look pretty on him too.

JAN: Jerk.

TARA: Doofus.

JAN: Ok. Flats it is.


Jane and The Woman Who Walks

PLAY: Jealousy Jane

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 2:15

DESCRIPTION

Jane is attached to a “Jealousy Monster.” She has denied it so much that the monster has grown and taken control. At a Jealousy Monster’s Ball, Jane meets another person with a monster.

ACTING HINTS

The Woman Who Walks should have a 40’s Film Noir flair about her. She’s mysterious and other-worldly. In contrast, Jane is modern and almost brash in her despair.

Play with the physical comedy of Jane constantly turning toward and away from the Woman Who Walks.

This scene marks a change in Jane as she finally admits her jealous behaviour. Allow this revelation to be a moment of triumph.

The WOMAN WHO WALKS sashays in to stand by JANE. She is carrying a clutch purse. She does not look at JANE.

WWW: Pssst. Psssst!

JANE: Huh?

WWW: Pssst.

JANE: (turning to WWW) Are you pssting me?

WWW: Don’t look at me!

JANE: (turning away with a jerk) Why not?

WWW: We mustn’t arouse suspicion.






JANE: Why not? With who?

WWW: The monsters of course.

JANE: (turning to WWW) The -


JANE: (looking away from WWW) Sorry. (The WWW doesn’t say anything.) Ah, what can I do for you?

WWW: I can’t help but notice that you have a monster attached to you.

JANE: Can’t help but notice? (raising her voice) Are you demented?

WWW: Shhhh!!

JANE: (turning to WWW) Sorry, sorry.


JANE: (turning from WWW) Ok. Yes I have a monster.

WWW: Why don’t you control it?

JANE: I would if I could.

WWW: So why don’t you?

JANE: Look lady you obviously have no idea what I’m going through so -

WWW: I have a monster.

JANE: (raising her voice) What?

WWW: Shh! Shh!

JANE: (turning to WWW) Sorry.

WWW: Don’t look at me! I have a monster too.



JANE: You do? Where is it then? Where’s your rope?

WWW: I have no rope.

JANE: Then how can you have a monster?

WWW: It’s in here.

JANE: Where?

WWW: Here. (She holds out her purse)

JANE: There?

WWW: Go ahead. Open it.

JANE: (looking inside the purse) How did you do that? How did you get it so small?

WWW: I took control of the little creep. I showed it who was boss and shrunk it down to size.

JANE: Wow. That’s amazing. But I thought they were impossible to get rid of.

WWW: Who told you that?

JANE: My monster.

WWW: Of course it did. It wants you helpless and hopeless.

JANE: That’s how I feel, all right.

WWW: (whispering) Psssst.

JANE: (whispering) What?

WWW: (whispering) You can do it too.

JANE: (whispering) Do what?

WWW: Shrink your monster.






JANE: I can’t.

WWW: You can.

JANE: I’m telling you I can’t. It’s got my script and I can’t even get a word in edgewise.

WWW: You must fight, Jane. That is the only way. Otherwise you will lose yourself completely. Soon the monster will not be satisfied with being on the end of a rope, dragging you around. It will want to come closer and closer. It will want to take over completely. There’ll be nothing left of you.

JANE: (with horror) Just like the circus barker said.

WWW: Pardon?

JANE: Nothing. I don’t want to disappear. Tell me what I have to do.

WWW: Name it. That is the first step.

JANE: If I name it, that means I admit I’m a jealous person.

WWW: Aren’t you?

JANE: Maybe a little bit. I haven’t been very nice to my friends and family. I can’t help it. Sometimes it’s just like punching out, only I’m not hitting anything. It’s like I’m lashing out with words and thoughts and hate. I hate it when other people do better than me. I hate it that my sister is so pretty. When other girls talk to Bill, I instantly assume there’s something going on. I’m so afraid he’s going to leave me and after everything that’s happened I wouldn’t be surprised if he does. It’s all my fault. I am a jealous person.

WWW: Say it Jane, say it!

JANE: I am Jealousy Jane!


Agatha and Eunice

PLAY: Agatha Rex

GENRE: Serio-Comedy

TIME: 3:30

DESCRIPTION

Agatha and Eunice wait for the arrival of Dr. Creon, the principal. Agatha is being punished for wearing a hat in school. Eunice, the hall monitor, guards Agatha.

ACTING HINTS

Agatha is finding a freedom in expressing her thoughts: this is a new frame of mind for her. Allow Agatha to find joy in her new freedom.

Eunice is a rigid, tense character and is more afraid for Agatha than Agatha is.

How you can present these characters physically? How will you show Agatha’s freedom and Eunice’s rigidity?

EUNICE stares at AGATHA. AGATHA stares back, amused. AGATHA is wearing a cap.

AGATHA: Do you always do this?

EUNICE: What?

AGATHA: Stare.

EUNICE: What are you talking about?

AGATHA: Do you always stare at the person sitting in this chair waiting to see Dr. Creon? It’s very intimidating.

EUNICE: Are you insulting me?

AGATHA: On the contrary. I think it’s quite hard for some people to look intimidating. You do it well.





Agatha and Eunice

EUNICE: If you took the cap off now, you might only get away with a warning.

AGATHA: No thanks.

EUNICE: Suit yourself.

There is a moment of silence. AGATHA starts to hum to herself. This confuses EUNICE. She doesn’t know why AGATHA isn’t afraid. She seems even more confused when AGATHA breaks out into a song.

EUNICE: (cutting her off ) Agatha!!

AGATHA: Oops sorry. Is there a rule about singing? I must have forgot. It’s just that the rulebook is so very heavy; it’s a little hard to carry around. I promise I won’t do it again.

EUNICE: You don’t seem to realize the severity of the situation.

AGATHA: We haven’t talked in a long time, have we?

EUNICE: What?

AGATHA: We used to talk. We used to have some pretty great conversations. You must remember the sixth grade lunchroom. (EUNICE’s expression does not change.) Don’t you?

EUNICE: I have no recollection of that time.

AGATHA: Really? That’s too bad. I have a lot of fond memories of “that time.” I guess it has been awhile. Still, we did lead some of the most legendary food fights in the history of the school. You have to remember that.

EUNICE: I guess we run in different circles these days.

AGATHA: I guess. Do you know where you’re headed next year?


Agatha and Eunice

EUNICE: No.

AGATHA: Me neither. My mom wants me to go to Vassar. But that’s just because she went there, which is a good reason, I guess. I mean I like the school and I don’t want to not go there just because she went there, but still…

EUNICE: It would be best if you sat still and didn’t talk.

AGATHA: Do you ever think of breaking rules?

EUNICE: What are you talking about?

AGATHA: Rules. Do you ever think about not following them? Moving in the opposite direction. Breaking them.

EUNICE: Agatha! (in an agonized whisper) He’s right through that door.

AGATHA: I’m not doing anything! All I did was ask if you thought about breaking the rules. I didn’t ask you to break anything. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.

EUNICE: That’s right.

AGATHA: But do you never…

EUNICE: Never.

AGATHA: Never?

EUNICE: No.

AGATHA: No impulses to throw Jell-O around the cafeteria?

EUNICE: No.

AGATHA: No desire to un-tuck a shirt or slouch one of your socks.

EUNICE: No!





Agatha and Eunice

AGATHA: Why not?

EUNICE: Agatha!

AGATHA: There’s a certain power about it, you know. Thinking about breaking the rules. I feel pretty good about it. There’s nothing wrong with thinking, you know. It’s just ideas floating around in my brain. I’ve been thinking about the uniform. I mean, I agree with the theory but does it really put everyone on an even keel?

EUNICE: You should stop talking right now.

AGATHA: Sometimes you have to take what you’re thinking very seriously. Sometimes you have to act on what you’re thinking about and there’s nothing wrong with that either.

EUNICE: I haven’t the slightest idea -

AGATHA: (interrupting) What I’m doing. What am I doing here? Am I cheating on a test? Am I failing school? Am I breaking windows? Am I hurting anyone? Am I torturing small animals? None of the above. Nobody does that around here. And it got me to thinking even more.

EUNICE: You want people to torture small animals?

AGATHA: All I am doing is wearing a hat. Why is it I can get into just as much trouble wearing a hat as I could for torturing a small animal? What does that mean?

EUNICE: Rules are rules for a reason. The uniform is set for a reason.

AGATHA: I suppose. But I’ve been thinking I don’t like these rules anymore.


Ashley and Jane

PLAY: Among Friends and Clutter

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 1:30

DESCRIPTION

Two friends, who are complete opposites, share their completely opposite thoughts about boys.

ACTING HINTS

The two characters have opposite personalities. Ashley is girly, Jane is a tom boy. The dialogue shows how opposite they are. Make sure that contrast is carried through in the physical side of the characters. How do Ashley and Jane stand? If Ashley primps in the mirror, what does Jane do? Give each character a gesture that shows off their character. If they didn’t speak, the audience should be able to tell what kind of character they are: girly or tom boy.

ASHLEY runs into the bathroom screaming, with JANE close behind. During the scene ASHLEY primps while JANE watches.

ASHLEY: SCREAMMM

JANE: Ashley, what are you doing in the bathroom?

ASHLEY: Ooooooh Jane did you see them? Did you see them?

JANE: You spend way too much time in the bathroom.

ASHLEY: They looked right at us.

JANE: Who.

ASHLEY: Kevin and Jim.

JANE: Oh. Them. They’re just going to play catch with us Ash.





Ashley and Jane

ASHLEY: I can’t play catch I’ll get all dirty. (looking at herself ) Look at that. Flat as a board.

JANE: So what.

ASHLEY: Do you think he likes me?

JANE: Who?

ASHLEY: Jim of course. Sometimes you are so stupid.

JANE: He’s just a boy Ash.

ASHLEY: Do you think he likes Meredith better than me? I hear she’s got her period. And she’s got breasts.

JANE: Breasts just get in the way of playing catch.

ASHLEY: Don’t you care about boys? You hang around them enough.

JANE: I care about baseball. Boys play baseball.

ASHLEY: Jane… will you do me a big favour? I’ll be your best friend.

JANE: I thought you already were my best friend.

ASHLEY: Jane, I’ll die if I don’t find out if Jim likes me. You’ve got to find out for me. Will you please ask Kevin to ask Jim? I’ll die if I don’t find out.

JANE: Ashley you won’t die. People don’t die because of that stuff.

ASHLEY: My sister says there’s this girl in this book, Wuthering Heights? She dies of a broken heart, and wanders the moors crying - “Heathcliff! Heathcliff!”

JANE: What a stupid name.

ASHLEY: I could die and wander the moors.


Ashley and Jane

JANE: What is a moor?

ASHLEY: Wander the moors calling Jim… Jim…

JANE: Why don’t I just ask Jim?

ASHLEY: Don’t you dare.

JANE: Why don’t you just ask Jim?

ASHLEY: Jane. Just ask Kevin ok?

JANE: Alright.

ASHLEY: Thanks.

JANE: Can we play catch now?




Scenes for One Girl and

One Guy


Beatrice & Benedick

PLAY: Much Ado High School

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 2:00

DESCRIPTION

Beatrice wants revenge on the boy who has embarrassed her cousin. Benedick wants to prove he’s her knight in shining armour.

ACTING HINTS

This scene is not 100% realistic. Both characters are a little exaggerated. They are both intense with their wants: Beatrice wants someone to hurt Claudio, Benedick wants to date Beatrice and will do anything she wants – almost.

Be careful about taking the exaggerated tone of the dialogue too far. The scene won’t work if everything is joky. The characters are serious about what they want and should be played completely straight. Let the goofiness of the dialogue speak for itself.

BEATRICE pushes up her sleeves, cracks her knuckles and turns to go after CLAUDIO.

BENEDICK: Beatrice, wait. Where are you going?

BEATRICE: I have a score to settle with your little friend.

BENEDICK: Just wait a second. Don’t go off in a huff.

BEATRICE: If you start quoting Dickens I’ll dislocate your kneecaps.

BENEDICK: Please! Even I know this is not a time for Dickens. Just wait a sec.

BEATRICE: Your jerk friend humiliated my cousin! I mean, sure she’s not my favourite person in the world. She’s incredibly annoying. That voice of hers makes me want to drive my




ScEnES FoR onE GIRl AnD onE GUY 37

Beatrice & Benedick

head through a wall sometimes and the boy-crazy thing is so stupid… Why am I going after Claudio again?

BENEDICK: He told Hero she was a liar, liar, pants on fire.

BEATRICE: Wait till I get my hands on him!

BENEDICK: You can’t do anything to Claudio.

BEATRICE: Why not?

BENEDICK: You’re a girl.

BEATRICE: I’m a girl?

BENEDICK: You’re a girl.

BEATRICE: I can’t do anything because I’m a girl?

BENEDICK: Exactly.

BEATRICE: Who died and made you king of the world? If I want to pummel that little weasel into pudding I can and I will.

BEATRICE starts to exit and BENEDICK stops her.

BENEDICK: Let me do it.

BEATRICE: You? You? Why would you do it?

BENEDICK: Well, because, I’m rather, fond. Of you.

BEATRICE: Of me.

BENEDICK: Of you.

BEATRICE: Of me.

BENEDICK: Of you.

BEATRICE: Of me.


Beatrice & Benedick

BENEDICK: Are you going to make me say it again? Aren’t you fond of me too? A little bit? Beebee-weebee?

BEATRICE: Have you ever heard of the phrase “wrong place, wrong time?”

BENEDICK: Well we’re not going to get married right here on the dance floor for crying out loud. Give me a break. I haven’t even mentioned cooties for a whole minute.

BEATRICE: True…

BENEDICK: All I’m asking if you are fond of me a little bit. That’s all.

BEATRICE: I… I… am. I am. Whew, I thought algebra was hard.

BENEDICK: Now we’re fond of each other, let me do this for you. Let me go talk to Claudio about what he’s done and why he’s done it.

BEATRICE: Oh no, I don’t want you to talk to him.

BENEDICK: What do you want me to do?

BEATRICE: I want you to kill Claudio.

BENEDICK: Are you crazy? Do you know what would happen to me in jail? I’m not going to kill him.

BEATRICE: Will you maim Claudio?

BENEDICK: No.

BEATRICE: Disfigure Claudio?

BENEDICK: No.

BEATRICE: Cripple Claudio?

BENEDICK: No.





Beatrice & Benedick

BEATRICE: Scar him?

BENEDICK: No.

BEATRICE: Slap him?

BENEDICK: No.

BEATRICE: Kick him?

BENEDICK: No.

BEATRICE: Tease his family?

BENEDICK: No! I’m not going to do any of those things.

BEATRICE: Would you give him a wedgie?

BENEDICK: That I can do.

BEATRICE: (flinging her arms around him) My knight!


One and Two

PLAY: Santa Runs a Sweat Shop (Ten/Two)

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 3:45

DESCRIPTION

A brother and a sister wait up for Santa Claus. Two has a lot of not-so-normal questions to ask the Jolly fellow dressed in red.

ACTING HINTS

There is an energy contrast between the two characters. One is excited and happy about Christmas and meeting Santa. Two is deadly serious. She speaks with slow determination. Play up the contrast between the characters in the way that they speak, the speed they speak and the type of gestures they use. What would an excited happy character do with their hands? What would a determined person do with their hands?

ONE and TWO are siblings. ONE is six years old and TWO is eight years old. Both can be either gender.

ONE and TWO sit side-by-side. TWO has a look of fierce determination on her face. ONE is desperately trying to stay awake. ONE closes his eyes and droops on TWO’s shoulder. TWO pokes ONE to make him wake up.

ONE: (sitting up) I’m awake, I’m awake!

They sit silently. ONE instantly begins to droop again. He drops his chin to his chest and starts to snore. TWO looks annoyed and pokes ONE to wake him up.

ONE: (sitting up) I’m awake, I’m awake!





One and Two

TWO: Shhhhhh. They’ll hear you.

ONE: (rubbing his eyes) What time is it?

TWO: (looking at her watch) 10:01 – wait, 10:02.

ONE: (stretching and yawning) How much longer?

TWO: We’ve got hours to go.

ONE: Hours? How many hours?

TWO: Till after Mom and Dad go to bed, for sure.

ONE: They’re still awake?

TWO: Uh huh.

ONE: Can’t we tell them to hurry up?

TWO: Then we’d have to tell them why we want them to hurry up.

ONE: Oh.

TWO: I couldn’t fall asleep if I tried. I’m too excited to sleep.

ONE yawns, his mouth as wide as it will go.

TWO: Aren’t you excited?

ONE: I am, I am. I’m just tired excited. I’m tired and I’m excited. I’m tire-cited.

TWO: That’s stupid.

ONE: What if we fall asleep like last year?

TWO: We won’t. I’m not falling asleep for anything. This is an important moment. It could be the most important moment of our lives.


One and Two

ONE: I know, I know.

ONE gives another jaw-cracking yawn and slumps down in his seat.

TWO: Would you stop yawning!

ONE: But I’m so tired. I don’t know why. I’m never tired. (this just occurs to him, he sits straight up) You think Mom and Dad know what we’re up to? They know and they put something in the food to make us sleepy?

TWO: I’m not sleepy.

ONE: What did I eat that you didn’t eat? (he gasps) Mom made me eat sweet potato! (imitating) ”How do you know you don’t like something if you don’t try it? Try it for Mommy!” She put sleeping potion in the sweet potato!

TWO: She did not.

ONE: Did you eat it?

TWO: No.

ONE: Then how do you know if she did or didn’t?

TWO: They don’t know we’re staying up. If they did, they’d be checking up on us every five seconds.

ONE: Not if they know we ate sweet potato potion.

TWO: That’s stupid. There’s no potion.

There is a pause. TWO looks wide awake. ONE begins to droop.

ONE: (yawns again) I don’t know if I’m gonna make it. I can hardly keep my eyes open.





One and Two

TWO: Use your fingers to hold the lids up.

ONE: That’s a good idea. (trying to hold eyes open with fingers) Do you know what you’re going to ask?

TWO: Sure. Do you?

ONE: Oh yeah. I thought about it all day. Maybe that’s why I’m so tired. I worked my brain so hard, it’s in a coma!

TWO: Somehow I doubt it. What are you gonna ask him?

ONE: I wanna know… (fast and excited) what he feeds the reindeer. Do reindeer really like carrots? I think they’d like oats better, or grass, ’cause there’s never any grass at the North Pole. I bet they’d love grass. It’s like a special treat or something, and that would be a good thing to leave out, but how do you keep grass from the summer till now? And I wanna know… if Santa’s fat all the time, or does he lose weight during the year. Mom says that’s not nice, and you shouldn’t ask people about their weight. But I wanna know. He wouldn’t mind if I asked, would he? And I wanna know… if the snow at the North Pole is light and fluffy or if it’s packing snow and if the elves have snowball fights. I think it’s packing snow, but if he’s going to be standing right in front of me, I’m gonna ask him for sure. So. (pause) What are you gonna ask about?

TWO: Labour relations.

ONE: Huh?

TWO: I think Santa’s extorting the elves.

ONE: He’s doing what?

TWO: I’m talking a North Pole Sweat Shop. How else is he able to make so many toys? Those elves seem happy but I’ll bet it’s a front. I’ll bet there’s something, someone making those elves act happy.


One and Two

ONE: But he’s Santa. He’d never do anything bad.

TWO: That’s what he wants us to believe. I’ll bet he pays those elves peanuts and they’re supposed to take it ’cause they work for the big guy in the red suit.

ONE: But he’s Santa. Ho, ho, ho. He laughs like a bowl full of jelly?

TWO: It’s the nice guys you have to watch out for. I want to know about wages, I want to know about working conditions, I want to know about days off and if he’s squashed any unions. And what about Mrs. Claus? Is she on the payroll or is she working under the table? (she rubs her hands together with glee) Oh yes, Mr. Claus and I are going to have a long chat tonight, oh yes indeed.

ONE looks at TWO for a second and gets up.

TWO: Where are you going?

ONE: Bed.

TWO: Why? Don’t you want to talk to Santa?

ONE: Not so much anymore. See you in the morning. Merry Christmas.

ONE exits.

TWO: Suit yourself. Merry Christmas! (to herself ) All right, fatty. It’s just you and me. You. And me.

She rubs her hands together.





Todd and Stacey

PLAY: Hairball

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 4:00

DESCRIPTION

Stacey and Todd are girlfriend and boyfriend. Stacey is furious at Todd for a flippant comment he made, but Todd has no idea why she’s upset.

ACTING HINTS

Stacey and Todd like each other. No matter how mad Stacey is, no matter how slow Todd seems, they are a good couple. That’s the underlying emotion to the scene.

The dialogue at the beginning of the scene is quick and snappy, with long pauses while Todd tries to figure out what he did wrong. Pay attention to the variations in pace. What are the characters thinking when they speak quickly? What are they thinking when they speak slowly?

STACEY and TODD sit side by side. Stacey is fuming. Really, really fuming. Todd has no idea what he did wrong, and after a moment of silence tries to broach the subject.

TODD: Stacey, I -

STACEY: Don’t talk to me.

TODD: But I -

STACEY: Don’t do it.

TODD: I just want to -

STACEY: I said don’t talk to me. When I’m ready for you to talk to me, I will let you know. Until then, the thing to do is not talk.


Todd and Stacey

They sit. She - fuming. He - confused. He makes faces to himself as he desperately tries to figure out what he did wrong.

TODD: Was it the -

STACEY: Not ready yet.

They sit. Finally STACEY closes her eyes and lets out a deep breath. She turns to TODD.

STACEY: All right. You can go.

TODD: Go where?

STACEY: You can go, you can talk.

TODD: About what? Oh! I can go! Ok, Stacey all I wanted to ask you was… I’m not sure… you look really upset.

STACEY: I am.

TODD: And I did something to make you upset.

STACEY: You did.

TODD: And I have no idea what that is.

STACEY: You don’t?

TODD: Not a clue.

STACEY: You don’t know what you said that hurt me to the heart of my being?

TODD: That bad, huh? I’m really sorry, Stace.

STACEY: But you don’t know what you’re sorry for.

TODD: Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? Say sorry no matter what?





Todd and Stacey

STACEY: But it doesn’t do any good if you have no idea what you did!

TODD: Sorry, I’m sorry! We’ll talk about it tomorrow, ok?

STACEY: No.

TODD: Huh?

STACEY: No. We can’t leave it like this. It was too hurtful and may have done irreparable damage to our relationship.

TODD: What kind of damage?

STACEY: We’re going to have to sit here until you figure this out.

TODD: We are?

STACEY: Yes.

There is a pause as they sit. She - serene. He - clueless.

TODD: Stace, I’ve got swim practice in the morning.

STACEY: (annoyed) All right, all right! Just this one time, I’ll tell you. (She turns to face him. Very serious.) Todd. At the party tonight. You were talking with the girls.

TODD: Which girls?

STACEY: The girls.

TODD: There were a lot of girls.

STACEY: Shauna and Sherry. My girls. Who else would the girls be? Were you talking to other girls?

TODD: No! Did you see me talking to other girls?


Todd and Stacey

STACEY: No… (getting back on track) Tonight, you were talking to the girls and you were talking about me. Remember that?

TODD: Uh huh.

STACEY: You were talking about me and you told the girls… you told them… (she’s traumatized) You told them I had Pageant Girl hair.

TODD: Yeah I did! It’s so fluffy and pretty and it looks just like (seeing her face) and obviously this is not a good thing and I should not have done it and I’m very very sorry.

STACEY: No, you’re not.

TODD: I sure am.

STACEY: You just there, just that second thought that Pageant Girl hair was good.

TODD: Nope I don’t. Not at all, no way. (pause) So why isn’t it good?

STACEY: It’s Pageant hair. Beauty Queen hair. It’s girls in ugly evening gowns, and parading around in not much more than high heels and a smile, and old fat balding judges drooling over them and it’s all about looks and girls being mean to each other and backstabbing and saying ”oh, you look so pretty” when they don’t mean it and falsies, and Vaseline on the teeth and ”I’m going to feed the homeless” platforms and it’s all gross and icky and I can’t believe you think I look like that!

TODD: Stacey. You curled your hair. You don’t usually do that. I thought it looked nice. You looked… special. And I was trying to say so and it was the first thing that came to my mind. I am now, officially, sorry.

STACEY: I’m never curling my hair again.





Todd and Stacey

TODD: Ok.

STACEY: Ok? Is it really ok or are you just shutting me up?

TODD: I like you with straight hair, curly hair, short hair or long hair. You can get a buzz cut if you want, I don’t care. I like you.

STACEY: (very pleased) Really?

TODD: Really.

STACEY: That’s nice, Todd.

TODD: Are we square now?

STACEY: Yes.

TODD: Good.

They sit quietly for a moment. STACEY looks over the moon that TODD said he liked her. TODD gets a little evil look on his face.

TODD: You know, I’ve been thinking of changing my hair too.

STACEY: Oh yeah?

TODD: Uh huh. Something different.

STACEY: You’d look so good with those little front spikes. I can help you if you want.

TODD: I was thinking more along the lines of a… mullet.

STACEY: (aghast) Ah – wha?

TODD: You know, a mullet. Short on the sides. Long in the back. I think I’d look really good in one.

STACEY: (fast) I really don’t think so.


Todd and Stacey

TODD: No?

STACEY: You don’t want that, you really don’t.

TODD: But I might.

STACEY: But they’re so gross. Todd! They’re gross! They’re the grossest haircut ever.

TODD: Grosser than Beauty Queen hair?

STACEY: (as if she’s eaten a bug) Yes.

TODD: Are you saying you won’t like me with a mullet?

STACEY: Ye- (She’s caught. She coughs.) I’m not saying that. Necessarily.

TODD: Are you sure?

STACEY: (this is killing her) If you really wanted one, you… should… (she sighs) you should get one.

TODD: And you’d still go out with me?

STACEY: (really killing her) I would.

TODD: (enjoying this) Ah maybe not. Maybe I’ll get Pageant Girl hair.

STACEY: Huh?

TODD: What do you think? I got a lot of bounce already. I bet it would come out real nice. Maybe some low lights?

STACEY: (her eyes narrow) Were you teasing me?

TODD: Maybe.

STACEY: You were teasing me! (she starts to hit him) I can’t believe you were teasing me! You’re on the swim team! You never tease me.





Todd and Stacey

TODD: (really enjoying this) First time for everything. (he runs off )

STACEY: Get back here! (she exits after him)


Pete and Nicky

PLAY: Wait Wait Bo Bait (Middle School Version)

GENRE: Drama

TIME: 2:40

DESCRIPTION

Two friends are in a hospital emergency room, waiting to learn how seriously their friend has been hurt in an accident.

ACTING HINTS

Think about how you move when you’re nervous and impatient. What do you do with your hands? Do you sit still with your hands folded? Do you pace back and forth? Pete and Nicky have opposing ways of expressing their nerves. Make sure they don’t both have the same actions. It’s all about the contrast.

Both characters also feel very guilty. They both think they caused the accident. This is the subtext of the scene. It’s always on the minds of the characters when they speak, even when they talk about things that have nothing to do with the accident.

NICKY sits. PETE paces back and forth.

NICKY: Stop it.

PETE: (still pacing) What?

NICKY: Stop it.

PETE: What?

NICKY: Pacing. You’re wearing a hole in the carpet.

PETE: I can’t. I’m all wired up. When I’m wired up, I need to keep moving. It’s genetic or generational or geometrical or something. Why are you so calm? Isn’t this driving you nuts? Isn’t this eating you up inside? Aren’t you going crazy?





Pete and Nicky

NICKY: They took him in five minutes ago. It’s going to be awhile.

PETE: Awhile. (continues pacing) I hate waiting. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I’m never good at Christmas. And birthdays… don’t get me started on birthdays.

NICKY: Stop it!

PETE: I can’t.

NICKY: Come on, you’re making me dizzy.

PETE: (stopping dead) Dizzy. Are you getting sick? (he looks around with panic) You’re getting sick, I’ve heard stories of people getting sick in emergency rooms, worse than when they came in and dying and—

NICKY: Would you shut up. Would you shut up about dying? People are staring.

PETE: You don’t need to get snippy.

NICKY: Sorry. I’m not thinking straight. I’ve never—(she grabs her head) I don’t know what to think or how to think and I don’t have any room in my brain for polite conversation. (she looks up) Snippy?

PETE: Mom word. I like it.

NICKY: You would.

PETE: (sits with a sigh) I hate waiting rooms more than I hate waiting. There are a ton of germs here. (he sniffs the air) I can smell them.

NICKY: You can’t smell germs.

PETE: I can.

NICKY: What do you care?


Pete and Nicky

PETE: I care. All it takes is for one germ to wipe out your whole immune system! We could be covered with germs right now. (he shivers)

NICKY: Is that stuff your mom says?

PETE: ’Course. She talks A LOT about germs. (looking around) Where are your parents?

NICKY: Calling Jason’s mom.

PETE: Oh. (pause) Oh. (pause) Nicky?

NICKY: Would you stop talking for—

PETE: I can’t sit here and —

NICKY: We’re not talking —

PETE: Do you know anyone who’s died?

NICKY: (she looks at him before answering) No.

PETE: My grandfather died two years ago.

NICKY: I’m not talking about this.

PETE: And someone put the ugliest sweater on him. I’ve never seen it before. It was a Christmas sweater, with snowmen.

NICKY: Pete.

PETE: And snowflakes, and pom poms and there is no way Grandpa would have been caught dead in a —

NICKY: (standing) Pete!

PETE: (standing) I threw the ball! I threw it, ok! I can’t stop—This is my fault. It’s my fault Jason’s here and I can’t —





Pete and Nicky

NICKY: It’s my fault. I told you to throw long. Because he was being so, (she throws her arms up) he just catches everything!

PETE: I wanted to throw it long. He said I’d never make the team.

NICKY: I wanted him not to catch the ball. I wanted him to look bad. (pause) It’s not your fault. It’s not mine.

PETE: How do you know? (sits) I never saw that car.

NICKY: Me neither. (sits) He’ll be fine. He has to. Right?

PETE: How long do we have to wait to find out?

NICKY: I don’t know. So. How many germs are there here?

PETE: You don’t want to know. And don’t even get me started on super germs. The super germs are the worst. Mom wouldn’t lie.

NICKY: You can tell me if you want to. I won’t mind. Ok?

PETE: Ok.


Nicola and Rick

PLAY: Football Romeo

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 4:00

DESCRIPTION

Nicola and Rick are boyfriend and girlfriend, both trying out for a part in the school production of Romeo and Juliet. But Rick is not exactly clear on what’s going to be expected of him if he gets the part.

ACTING HINTS

Nicola is a driven character. She knows exactly what she wants and what she has to do to get it. Rick is a football player. He cares for Nicola but is very clear about what ‘guys’ should and shouldn’t do.

Nicola is a mentally strong character, Rick is a physically strong character. How can you show this physically?

Rick is a ‘dumb’ guy, but he also has a good heart. He sleeps a lot. Make sure both these aspects come across in your characterization.

NICOLA: Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, Or if thou wilt not be but sworn my love And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.

NICOLA holds a pose of longing. She waits. And waits. She looks back at RICK who has fallen asleep. NICOLA keeps up her pose hoping he will come to. When he doesn’t, she swats him with her script.

NICOLA: It’s your line!

RICK: (waking up) Huh?

NICOLA: It’s your line!





Nicola and Rick

She shows him his place and gets right back into her pose.

RICK: (speaking in a completely deadpan voice - like someone who doesn’t do much reading) Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

NICOLA turns to RICK in disgust over his acting.

NICOLA: Rick!!!

RICK: What?

NICOLA: You need to put more feeling into it. More oopmh!

RICK: But -

NICOLA: Let’s pick it up a little further down.

RICK: But -

NICOLA: What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other word would smell as sweet; So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, Retain that dear perfection which he owes Without that title. Romeo doff thy name, And for thy name which is no part of thee, Take all myself.

RICK reads his line like a footballer running downfield - lots of oomph. He also mangles the text as much as it can be mangled.

RICK: I take thee at thy word. Call me but love and I’ll be new baptized; Henceforth I never will be Raymeo.

NICOLA: What man art thou, that thus bescreened in night So stumblest on my counsel?


Nicola and Rick

RICK: By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am. My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself, Because it is an enemy to thee. Had I it written, I would tear the word.

RICK gives a linebacker growl as if he is tearing apart the word. NICOLA looks on helplessly.

NICOLA: Never mind. (she takes in a deep breath) I know I’m going to get this part. (she starts to gather her things) So, you’re going to meet me at the audition tomorrow at four o’clock. Can you remember that or should I write it down?

RICK: Four o’clock. I got it.

NICOLA: Good. (she gives RICK a peck on the cheek)

RICK: Why?

NICOLA: Why what?

RICK: Why do I have to meet you at the audition? (a thought comes to him) Oh I get it! You want moral support. You want me to cheer you on. Maybe I should borrow a set of pompoms from Brittany - “Go Niki!” (He laughs to himself at his own cleverness. Then he notices NICOLA staring at him.) What?

NICOLA: Rick. We’ve been practicing speeches for days now.

RICK: You’re great Nik. I know you’re going to get the part.

NICOLA: We’re both going to get the part.

RICK: I’m going to be Juliet?

NICOLA: Try to stay with me. We’ve talked about this. Planned this. We’ve been practicing so we can audition together and get parts together and be on stage together.





Nicola and Rick

RICK: On stage?

NICOLA: You - Romeo. Me - Juliet.

RICK: On stage?

NICOLA: Yes.

RICK: In front of people?

NICOLA: That’s how it’s usually done.

RICK: You never told me that!!!

NICOLA: Rick…

RICK: Uh uh, no way, no can do. It’s fine behind closed doors where no one can see us but there’s no way I would ever stand… (he becomes lost in thought - it almost looks like his brain has closed down)

NICOLA: Rick?

RICK: Tights…

NICOLA: Rick, what’s the matter?

RICK: (holding up the script) This guy, this Ray -

NICOLA: Romeo.

RICK: He wears tights! Shakespeare’s always done in tights.

NICOLA: No it’s not.

RICK: Niki, you want me to embarrass myself in front of the entire football team looking like a ballerina?

NICOLA: Don’t football players wear tights?


Nicola and Rick

RICK: Don’t you even joke about that! It’s not the same thing. Not the same thing at all.

NICOLA: There aren’t going to be any kind of tights in the show. Ms. Kavendish is doing a modern version. No tights.

RICK: No?

NICOLA: Jeans and t-shirts.

RICK: I still can’t do it.

NICOLA: Ricky…

RICK: I play football. I take other football players by the head and slam them to the ground.

NICOLA: And you’re very good at that. But don’t you want to be more than a football player?

RICK: No.

NICOLA: Don’t you want to be something else?

RICK: No.

NICOLA: Don’t you want to fully experience the wonder, the thrill, the excitement that is William Shakespeare?

RICK: No!

NICOLA: Fine. I see. (she picks up the script and moves away)

RICK: You’re mad.

NICOLA: No. Not at all. I’m perfectly - (RICK moves in to hug her) Don’t touch me!!

RICK: I’m sorry Niki. It’s just not going to work.

NICOLA: I understand.





Nicola and Rick

RICK: Good.

NICOLA: So I guess you’ll be ok with the kissing scenes.

RICK: What?

NICOLA: You’ve been reading the play Rick; surely you noticed there are at least two kissing scenes.

RICK: I wasn’t really paying attention.

NICOLA: If you’re not playing Romeo that means I’ll be kissing somebody else.

RICK: Give me that! (he takes the book from NICOLA and frantically flips pages)

NICOLA: I’m impressed Rick. I never thought you would be so open about this. You are really growing as a human being.

RICK: (whining like a baby) I can’t read this. I hate this guy! Why can’t he write English like everybody else. Where is it? Where is it?

He hands the book to NICOLA, who finds her page and acts out the scene between Romeo and Juliet at Capulet’s masked ball. She plays each part with utter seriousness.

NICOLA: ( Juliet) Saints do not move though grant for prayers’ sake (Romeo) Then move not while my prayer’s effect I take. Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged. ( Juliet) Then have my lips the sin that they have took. (Romeo) Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.

Pause. RICK looks very confused.

RICK: Is that Shakespeare for kissing scene?


Nicola and Rick

NICOLA: Big time.

RICK: When did you say the auditions were?

NICOLA: (with a big smile) Four o’clock.





Dunno and Fine

PLAY: Tick Talk

GENRE: Drama

TIME: 2:45

DESCRIPTION

Dunno and Fine are friends and fellow outcasts at school and at home. Fine deals with it and has a sense of humour. Dunno is not dealing with his situation well at all. He’s in a downward spiral that could lead to danger.

ACTING HINTS

Dunno is serious right from the top of the scene. He is not in a good head space. At the beginning of the scene Fine doesn’t take Dunno’s tone seriously, she thinks he’s play acting. There should be a change in Fine’s personality when she realizes he’s not joking and there’s something very wrong with him.

Dunno is a power keg ready to blow. He’s very very tense. His body should be completely tense for the whole scene. Fine is more loose and joking. This is the first time she has ever seen Dunno act this way and be so serious. How does she react to seeing this behaviour for the first time?

What does Dunno want to do? What does he want to do to make people listen? Make a decision and keep it in mind throughout the scene.

DUNNO: (deadpan) How was your day dear?

FINE: (light) Pretty crappy. What’s wrong with you?

DUNNO: Dunno. Everything.

FINE: ( joking) That’s nice and specific.

DUNNO: (not joking) Yeah. See you later. (turns to go)

FINE: Hey, hey! What’s going on?

DUNNO: Nothing.

FINE: (a joking whine) I thought we were gonna hang out.


Dunno and Fine

DUNNO: I can’t.

FINE: Why?

DUNNO: I have to go. (turns to go)

FINE: (she playfully gets in his way) Where? Why?

DUNNO: Audrey! Give me some space will ya?

FINE: (hurt) Hey.

DUNNO: Sorry. Sorry. I just… I dunno.

FINE: What’s wrong? What happened today?

DUNNO: Nothing.

FINE: (still with humour) Talk to me!

DUNNO: Why? What’s the point?

FINE: Talking is good.

DUNNO: Nobody listens.

FINE: What am I? The amazing invisible girl?

DUNNO: Your parents never listen to you. That’s all you talk about.

FINE: “Parents don’t listen.” Film at 11. So what. That’s why we have each other right?

DUNNO: Great. You and me talking in a vacuum forever and ever till the end of time.

FINE: What happened to you today?

DUNNO: Nothing! Leave me alone!

DUNNO starts to leave and FINE gets in his way.





Dunno and Fine

FINE: Hey! Ok. Ok. I get it you’re serious. Stop being the boy martyr and tell me what’s going on. Look at me. Who’s not listening to you?

DUNNO: No one. Everyone.

FINE: Since when did that start bothering you? ( joking) How’s your day dear? What’s wrong with you?

DUNNO: Maybe it’s not funny anymore.

FINE: Why?

DUNNO: Stop bothering me!

FINE: You just said nobody listens. So…

DUNNO: I don’t mean you. I mean everyone else.

FINE: What everyone else?

DUNNO: I don’t know. Them. People.

FINE: People don’t listen.

DUNNO: No.

FINE: If you tried to talk to people instead of -

DUNNO: (dead serious) Talking does nothing! Don’t you get it? Talking is useless. In one ear and out the other. Talking is air. And I’m sick and tired of being nothing but air.

FINE: But why –

DUNNO: See! You’re not listening!

FINE: Ok, ok.


Dunno and Fine

DUNNO: If you want people to listen, “Them” to listen, you have to do more. You have to make people listen. Make them sit up and take notice.

FINE: What are you talking about?

DUNNO: You have to do something drastic to make people listen. People don’t hear words. Words are nothing. People hear action.

FINE: What are you talking about?

DUNNO: Dunno.

FINE: Don’t be cute. Are you serious?

DUNNO: Dunno.

FINE: Simon.

DUNNO: You’ll be late for class.

FINE: Class? You think I care about class right now?

DUNNO: Don’t you?

FINE: How long have you been thinking like this?

DUNNO: I’m not thinking like anything. I’m not doing anything.

FINE: Simon.

DUNNO: (mocking her) Audrey. (there is a pause as she waits for him to say something) What?

FINE: Fine. Fine. You want to… you want to be this way, who am I to stop you. Whatever. Later.





Dunno and Fine

She turns and starts to leave. She only gets a few steps away and stops. She stands, facing away from DUNNO, shaking her head.

DUNNO: Would you go already? Get out of here.

FINE: No.

DUNNO: Leave!

FINE: No.

DUNNO: I don’t want you here.

FINE: I know you.

DUNNO: You don’t know me. No one knows me.

FINE: I know this isn’t you. I know something happened.

DUNNO: You don’t know anything.

FINE: You can act like an ass if you want. You can push me away but you won’t make me leave.

DUNNO: Then I’ll leave.

DUNNO starts to exit. FINE calls after him.

FINE: I’m not going to walk away Simon. When you want to talk I’ll be here. Whenever. I won’t walk away.

Scenes for Two Guys




ScEnES FoR TWo GUYS 69

Johan and Hans

PLAY: Deck the Stage!

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 2:50

DESCRIPTION

Two brothers, Johan and Hans, talk about their Christmas Tree traditions.

ACTING HINTS

This scene is all about pace and timing. The lines should flow from one character to another seamlessly. Lines continued with a ‘…’ should sound like one continuous sentence.

From an emotional standpoint, focus on the competition between the boys. Why does each feel that they must come out on top?

Are the brothers twins, or is one older than the other? How does that affect the piece?

JOHAN and HANS come downstage. They match each other step for step, as if they don’t want the other to get ahead.

JOHAN & HANS: Every year my brother and I…

JOHAN: Partake in a competition…

HANS: To choose the family Christmas tree.

JOHAN: It’s been our job…

JOHAN & HANS: Since we were seven years old.

HANS: We go with our Papa to the tree farm.

JOHAN: We each pick out a tree and he chooses the winner.

HANS: It used to be…


Johan and Hans

JOHAN & HANS: In the beginning…

HANS: That we would decide on a tree together.

JOHAN & HANS: But that was impossible. (each referring to the other) He’s so competitive.

JOHAN: It’s horrible.

JOHAN & HANS: He always has to have his way.

HANS: So now we get Papa to choose.

JOHAN: I have five wins and Hans only has four.

HANS: Johan always says he has five and I only have four.

JOHAN: He is such a sore loser.

HANS: The year that we were twelve I had double pneumonia and Mama would not let me go to the tree farm, even though I said I could go.

JOHAN: I picked the tree, Papa cut it down. It counts.

HANS: It does not count.

JOHAN: It counts!

JOHAN & HANS: He always gets like this. He always has to have his way. He’s impossible.

HANS: The morning of the trip is always bright and crisp and clean.

JOHAN: I arise extra early to make sure I have all of my equipment at hand.

HANS: Sturdy boots!

JOHAN: Strong gloves!





Johan and Hans

HANS: Binoculars for the scouting!

JOHAN: Tags to mark the trees.

JOHAN & HANS: One year, he tried to claim a tree that I had clearly sighted first!

HANS: Now a tree cannot be claimed until it has a tag on it.

JOHAN: It’s all his fault.

JOHAN & HANS: He’s so competitive.

They both take a deep breath in.

JOHAN: We stand at the entrance to the tree farm…

HANS: Breathing in the cool, crisp, morning air.

They both breathe in.

JOHAN & HANS: Our breath makes tiny clouds of mist which fogs up our glasses. (They both wipe their glasses)

JOHAN: Papa must set us off at exactly the same time.

JOHAN & HANS: He always tries to cheat.

HANS: Johan’s foot is over the line!

JOHAN: Hans’ body is too far forward!

HANS: Inevitably Papa tells us to settle down or…

JOHAN & HANS: He will pick the first scrawny broke bristle spruce he can find and leave us for the dogs!

JOHAN: That Papa.

JOHAN & HANS: What a sense of humour.


Johan and Hans

They both chuckle for a moment. Then they both breathe in again.

JOHAN: We prepare.

HANS: We wait for the hand to go down.

JOHAN: The air is silent.

HANS: There is nothing but Papa’s hand…

JOHAN: And the trees.

JOHAN & HANS: WE’RE OFF!

The two start running in place. They are frantically searching for the best tree.

JOHAN: Trees to the left!

HANS: Trees to the right!

JOHAN: Faster!

HANS: Faster!

JOHAN: Ah ha!

HANS: Bah!

JOHAN: Too small!

HANS: Too tall!

JOHAN: Too fat!

HANS: Too puny!

JOHAN: Too old!

HANS: Too new!





Johan and Hans

JOHAN: Too much like the one we had last year.

JOHAN & HANS: I must find the perfect tree! I can’t let him beat me!

HANS: Beautiful pines.

JOHAN: Lush foliage.

HANS: Green as emeralds.

JOHAN: Ah ha!

HANS: Ah ha!

JOHAN: AH HA!

HANS: AH AH!

They take in a deep breath and jump up and down for joy.

JOHAN & HANS: Every year it is so exhilarating! I can hardly wait!

JOHAN: And I know…

HANS: Without a shadow of a doubt…

JOHAN: That…

HANS: The winner…

JOHAN & HANS: Will be me!

HANS: Me.

JOHAN: Me.

HANS: Me!

JOHAN: ME!


Johan and Hans

JOHAN & HANS: He is so impossible! He always has to have his way!

The two cross their arms in frustration and stand with their backs to each other.





Steve and Edgar

PLAY: Wait Wait Bo Bait

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 2:00

DESCRIPTION

Steve and Edgar sit outside the Principal’s office, awaiting punishment.

ACTING HINTS

Have you ever had to wait for something unpleasant? How did it affect you physically? Did it affect your breathing?

Steve is very nervous and Edgar is more relaxed. Show the opposing physical states in the way the two characters move.

There is a moment of silence as STEVE and EDGAR sit. Waiting. They adjust their position. They both give a big sigh.

STEVE: How long have they been in there?

EDGAR: Almost half an hour.

STEVE: Half and hour. How long does it take to decide a punishment? Mrs. Dufour always struck me as a rather decisive woman. Two weeks detention – zap! You’re suspended – pow!

EDGAR: Your dad is über-decisive. He’s the king of decisiveness.

STEVE: I know. Can I have the car, dad? No. Two seconds tops - whamo! What the hell are they talking about?

EDGAR: Maybe they’re not talking about you. Maybe they wrapped up you in the first five minutes and now they’re talking about vacations. (STEVE looks at EDGAR) It’s possible. They could be


Steve and Edgar

comparing vacation spots. “I like Hawaii. Jamaica is nice this time of year.”

STEVE: You’re just in a good mood ‘cause they haven’t reached your parents and you’re not going to get yelled at till later.

EDGAR: What’s the worst that could happen? You’ve never been in trouble before. Sure, your first time out has been a bit of a doosy but really, how hard on you can they be?

STEVE: My dad’s going to kill me.

EDGAR: Be serious.

STEVE: Seriously he could kill me.

EDGAR: Not gonna happen. Think smaller-scale.

STEVE: I don’t know. Maybe he’ll hide all my shoes.

EDGAR: “Son. We’ve decided your punishment. We’re going to hide all your shoes.”

STEVE: Just because your dad is all “Boys will be boys. Hey man, I was young once too. Peace out.”

EDGAR: I don’t know Brillo. I’ve never set fire to a bathroom before. My dad did a lot when he was young, but I’m pretty sure he never set fire to a bathroom.

STEVE: But we didn’t mean to set fire to a bathroom.

EDGAR: If only that counted.

STEVE: Who knew toilets were so flammable?

EDGAR: Hindsight is twenty-twenty.

STEVE: What are they doing in there? I wish they’d just come out and get it over with. Just come out right now and get whatever





Steve and Edgar

it is, whatever punishment, out in the open. I just want to know. The waiting is killing me!

EDGAR: Ah ha! Chinese water torture. I think there is no punishment. They’re just sitting in there, making you sweat it out.

STEVE: (standing up) Enough is enough. This is inhuman. If they’re going to punish me, fine. Just come on out of there and do it. Do you hear me?! I deserve to know. It’s my basic human right to know and I want to know right now!

EDGAR: Aw crap. The door’s opening.

STEVE: (sitting down) I changed my mind. I can wait.


Sam and Pat

PLAY: School Daze

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 2:00

DESCRIPTION

Sam and Pat stand side by side during their first lunch on their first day of middle school. They don’t know each other, but both know what it’s like to be in an uncomfortable situation…

ACTING HINTS

Sam and Pat are both nervous – they are in an unfamiliar territory. How can you show their nerves?

Focus on the pace of the scene. Their nervous behaviour should show through the speed of their dialogue. But you can’t race through the whole scene! Find a place to take a big breath. Think about what would make the characters pause.

SAM and PAT are carrying cafeteria trays. They stand side by side in silence for a moment as if they are looking for a place to sit, but don’t know anyone in the cafeteria. Finally SAM breaks the silence.

SAM: Hi.

PAT: Hi.

SAM: First day.

PAT: Yep.

SAM: Lunch.

PAT: Yep.

SAM: You know anyone?





Sam and Pat

PAT: Nope.

SAM: Me neither.

PAT: So…

SAM: ( jumping in) So nothing. I’m not saying anything. You. Me. Standing. Doesn’t mean squat.

PAT: I didn’t… aren’t you trying to talk to me?

SAM: Why would I do that? You. Me. Standing. Doesn’t mean squat.

PAT: Are you freaking out?

SAM: What?

PAT: Are you freaking out?

SAM: Me? Ha ha! Nooooooooo.

PAT: You look all funny round the eyes.

SAM: I’m not freaking out. I’m not.

PAT: Ok.

SAM: I’m just not having a great day. That’s all.

PAT: What happened?

SAM: What hasn’t? I’ve been late to every class because I keep getting lost. I have absolutely no idea what’s going on in math and it’s just the first day! And my brother freaked me right out–

PAT: You are freaking out.

SAM: Who wouldn’t? We’re standing here like idiots and the whole cafeteria is filled with people talking and laughing and everyone has friends and everyone’s in little groups and I like brown


Sam and Pat

bread peanut butter and lettuce sandwiches! There I said it. Shun me if you must! I like brown bread peanut butter and lettuce sandwiches and my brother said I would be banished to outer Siberia in the school’s social standings if I showed up today with brown bread peanut butter and lettuce sandwiches. Everyone would laugh at my lunch, which really means they’re laughing at me which is so unfair but that’s the way life goes, Stevie says. So I didn’t bring one. And now I’m stuck with this, this…

PAT: Really gross food.

SAM: Really gross food. The pizza’s cold, I hate pudding and all I want is a brown bread peanut butter and lettuce sandwich.

PAT: Peanut butter and lettuce huh?

SAM: Is it really that weird? Outer Siberia weird?

PAT: A little.

SAM: Oh.

PAT: But so what?

SAM: So what?

PAT: Yeah. So what?

SAM: Exactly. So what? Stupid Stevie and his stupid Siberia. So what?! Do you want to sit down?

PAT: Yeah.

SAM: Great. What class do you have after lunch?

PAT: (with a groan) Math. I can’t stand it either.

SAM: Do you have Mrs. Rogers? She’s brutal.





Sam and Pat

PAT: You know… sometimes I eat condiment sandwiches.

SAM: Condiment sandwiches?

PAT: Mayo, relish, nothing else.

SAM: Now that is weird.

They exit.


Marty & Edwin

PLAY: School Daze

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 2:00

DESCRIPTION

Marty and Edwin are complete opposites forced to work together on a school project.

ACTING HINTS

This scene is quick, quick quick! The dialogue is snappy. It’s important that there aren’t any unnecessary pauses between lines. Both characters know exactly who they are and why they dislike the other person. That means you should make each character as clear as possible. Each should have a specific voice, movement, and personality.

MARTY and EDWIN run downstage. Both of them are trying to talk to their teacher. They face front as if their teacher is in the audience.

MARTY: Miss!

EDWIN: Mrs. Wheeler!

MARTY: Miss!


MARTY: Miss, Miss, Miss!


BOTH: I can’t work with him!

EDWIN: As much as I appreciate getting down to business right away…





Marty & Edwin

MARTY: (with a groan) I can’t believe you’re starting a project on the first day of school.

EDWIN: And the depression is a worthy topic…

MARTY: And you ruined my whole year in one shot!

BOTH: I can’t work with him!

EDWIN: I know slugs with more brainpower.

MARTY: His name is Edwin.

EDWIN: What’s wrong with my name?

MARTY: I can’t work with a guy named Edwin. (realising something) Did you just call me a slug?

EDWIN: Mrs. Wheeler, I already know what’s going to transpire.

MARTY: Can’t I work with Rob?

EDWIN: I’m going to get stuck with all the work.

MARTY: Or Max?

EDWIN: I ALWAYS get stuck with the work.

MARTY: Or Sonny?

EDWIN: He’s not going to do anything.

MARTY: Or Luis?

EDWIN: Because he never does anything.

MARTY: Or Jenny. I’d work with Jenny.

EDWIN: And my average is going to suffer greatly!

MARTY: Ooooh Mr. Brain will get an A instead of an A plus. Tragedy.


Marty & Edwin

EDWIN: And what’s your average slug?

MARTY: Want to know what my black eye average is?


BOTH: I can’t work with him! AGH!

They both throw their hands up and separate. EDWIN talks to the audience.

EDWIN: My brain is growing at an incredible rate and this is what I have to put up with. I’m 12, but I’m not 12. Sometimes I wish I was 12. Sometimes I like being smart. I like using my mind, speed of light, fast as I can go. Is it my fault I’m smart? I want to start skipping grades, but my parents want me to be more normal. I’m not normal!

MARTY: He is not a normal guy. He wears ties to school. Ties. He knows EVERYTHING and I hate that! Just once I would like to know something that he doesn’t know. My dad is so intense about grades. Like I won’t get into a good school if I don’t get good grades now. All I want to do is play baseball. At least that’s one thing I’m better at than Mr. Brain.

They return to the centre. They look up and sigh.

MARTY: All right Miss. Whatever.

EDWIN: I don’t agree with your argument Mrs. Wheeler, but I will acquiesce to your demands.

MARTY: Can you speak normally, just once?

EDWIN: No. I can’t. All right. I will work with him. Somehow.

MARTY: Can I call you Eddie?

EDWIN: No.




Group Scenes


Catherine, Cosette, Julian

PLAY: Beauty and the Bee

GENRE: Drama

TIME: 4:15

DESCRIPTION

Cosette, Catherine and Julian are siblings. Cosette, a home-schooled national spelling bee champion has been preparing to attending high school, much to the dismay of Catherine, her older sister. Cosette has asked Catherine for help fitting in, but Catherine hasn’t been exactly honest with her…

ACTING HINTS

This is a high-conflict, high-emotion scene. Cosette and Catherine are in a cutthroat battle with each other. There should be a lot of movement between the two girls and their dialogue at the beginning should be quick. Keep them physically on the move as they interact.

On the other hand, Julian is completely calm. He moves and speaks slowly. He is in his own world, totally focused on his corn dog. Don’t let Julian get caught up in his sisters’ energy. He should move in slow motion, which will bring a nice contrast to the scene.

COSETTE: (offstage) Don’t you walk away from me!

CATHERINE storms in with COSETTE close behind. During all of this, JULIAN is oblivious.

NOTE: don’t yell too much here or the scene will have nowhere to go! Note too that there is some overlapping of lines here.

CATHERINE: Can we not have a scene in the food court? (hissing) I work in this mall.

COSETTE: Oh poor Catherine. Afraid you’ll stand out?

CATHERINE: (start right after ‘Catherine’) This was such a mistake.




GRoUP ScEnES 87


COSETTE: Why did you do that to me?

CATHERINE: You’re so smart, figure it out.

COSETTE: You’re embarrassed of me.

CATHERINE: (start right after ‘embarrassed’) Ding, ding, ding! Smarty wins a prize.

COSETTE: (start right after ‘Smarty’) I’d rather be smart than stupid.

JULIAN takes a bite of his corn dog and gives a long loud groan, completely derailing the fight.

JULIAN: I LOVE the Buggy Buggy corn dog. It’s the extra Buggy that’s the trick. And the fake cheese… nothing in this whole wide world beats fake cheese. Fake cheese oozing through the dough. That’s the best. The ultimate. That chemical rush, whoosh, right through the veins. Amazing. Totally. Dude.

CATHERINE and COSETTE stare at JULIAN. He looks up.

JULIAN: What? You guys want some? You better dig in. I save corn dog for no one.

CATHERINE: Do you really not have any idea what’s happening here?

JULIAN: Why? (he looks at both of them) Is something up? I’m pretty focused on the dog. Ever since M & D said we had to come together and I was nacho denied yesterday… (staring at the corn dog) Fake cheese. (breaking out of the trance again) Sorry. What?

CATHERINE: (sitting) She called me stupid.

COSETTE: (sitting) She completely ignored me! You’re going to ignore me at school too aren’t you. You’re one of those, icy



spine lookers! (to JULIAN) She ignored me in the store. She was talking to one of her pretty perfect types and I came up and she ignored me.

CATHERINE: You were blathering.

COSETTE: She said she didn’t know me.

CATHERINE: You said Capris are named after an Italian island.

COSETTE: It’s an interesting fact.

CATHERINE: No one cares! No one cares about you Cosette!

COSETTE: (explodes into a spell out start after ‘No one cares’) Amanuensis: A-M-A-N-U-E-N-S-I-S. Take that Cathy! Amaranth: A-M-A-R-A-N-T-H. I’m causing a scene in the mall!

CATHERINE: (start after ‘Take that Cathy’) Don’t call me Cathy! How did you get the pretty name! It is so wasted on you! AGH! (finally it all comes out) High school is going to hit you like a ton of bricks and the fall out is going to end up on me. I hate that you’re going to my school. The only place I have! I hate everyone’s going to know you’re my sister. Everyone pays so much attention to you just because you’re smart and nobody could give a crap about anything that I do. (frustrated) Nobody cares about what I want!

COSETTE: (fast) Then why did you even bother to help me?

JULIAN: (fast, almost unconsciously) Cause Mom’s paying her.

Silence. CATHERINE drops her head into her hands, COSETTE stares at JULIAN.

JULIAN: (disbelief ) Did I say that out loud? (quiet) Damn. (pause) I’ve been keeping that a secret. (pause) I didn’t want to. But I did. Looks like the fake cheese got the best of me. Fake cheese makes you say strange things. Makes you speak the truth




GRoUP ScEnES 89


when you don’t want to or you do want to. This cheese is messing with my brain waves. (starting to panic) The chemicals are changing me, man. Making me say things, making me do things… they’re changing me! (standing) I gotta find some fruit leather.

JULIAN runs off. There is a long pause.

COSETTE: (she sits in a daze) Whoa.

CATHERINE: You weren’t supposed to find out.

COSETTE: I thought you and Mom didn’t get along.

CATHERINE: We don’t. She… She doesn’t talk to me.

COSETTE: You figured all this out through hand signals? How Helen Keller of you.

CATHERINE: I… (she tries to explain and fails) When she came to me, she never does that. (vulnerable) She’s never done that. She doesn’t even talk to me, not since I quit… (spilling out) And I need the money for school, and when she came to me… She’s never done that. I don’t… (she exhales) There are a lot of things going on, Cosette.

COSETTE: (pause) I think Catherine’s a pretty name.

CATHERINE: (she rolls her eyes) Everyone shortens it to Cathy.

COSETTE: She doesn’t talk to you?

CATHERINE: You’re the winner.

COSETTE: (she wrinkles her nose) I just like to spell. What time is Dad coming to pick us up?

CATHERINE: I don’t know. (she pulls out her phone) Now.

COSETTE: Ok… (she stands) We should go.



CATHERINE: So… what?

COSETTE: So what what?

CATHERINE: What now? Do you still want help? Fitting in?

COSETTE: I think… No. I… I’m going to go it alone.

CATHERINE: But what if you -

COSETTE: You’re right, everybody’s right, I live in a sweater vest bubble. So what? Should I stay put? Stay where it’s warm and comfortable in my sweatery bubble just so I don’t get a little wind burn? To make everybody else happy? I got all caught up. Discombobulated. You know?

CATHERINE: Not a clue.

JULIAN enters.

JULIAN: (satisfied sigh) Who knew soy nuts could taste so good? Ok, are we out of here?

COSETTE: I want to get some pizza before we go. Two slices. With artichoke and anchovies.

JULIAN: Artichoke and anchovies? Whoa.

COSETTE: (with a smile) I know.




GRoUP ScEnES 91

Drift, Blue, Ice

PLAY: The Snow Show

GENRE: Comedy

TIME: 3:15

DESCRIPTION

Three friends are at the top of the scariest, most difficult ski hill to impress some girls.

ACTING HINTS

Keep the environment in mind during the scene – they are at the top of a mountain. What’s the weather like?

The boys have gone to great extremes to impress some girls. But none of them are great skiers and the weight of their hasty decision comes home during the scene. Each of the boys reacts differently to their situation – Drift is sarcastic, Blue tries to be confident, and Ice mellowly goes with the flow. Each character’s reaction to the situation should be reflected physically. How do they stand at the top of the mountain?

BLUE, ICE and DRIFT stand side-by-side. DRIFT stands in the middle. They are standing on the top of a huge ski hill. They look down.

DRIFT: (irritated) Why are we doing this again?

BLUE: It looks cold.

ICE: It would.

DRIFT: What are we doing here?

BLUE: Skiing.

ICE: Standing.

DRIFT: (very irritated) Fearing for our lives.


Drift, Blue, Ice

BLUE: That’s an image.

ICE: (firm) No we’re not.

DRIFT: (pouting and imitating ICE) ‘We’re excellent skiers. We’re the best darn skiers in the whole world. Watch us ski down the hardest slope?’ (he blows a raspberry at ICE)

BLUE: (to ICE) I told you he didn’t want to do this.

ICE: Was he imitating me?

BLUE: I think so.

DRIFT: Don’t mind me, I’m just here, fearing for my life at the top of… What’s this thing called again?

BLUE: Stinking Dogface.

DRIFT: Stinking Dogface. Mount Stinking Dogface.

BLUE: It’s rather descriptive. Creates a real specific image right away. Excellent marketing.

DRIFT: Let’s give them a medal.

BLUE: Do they do that?

ICE: What do you want? Those girls liked us. They liked US. They were talking to us. I couldn’t help myself. They asked if we skied and they smiled.

BLUE: (remembering) Those smiles were something.

ICE: They smiled with their eyes.

BLUE: (with a sigh) Those eyes were something.

ICE: How could I say anything but yes?




GRoUP ScEnES 93

Drift, Blue, Ice

DRIFT: There is the grand canyon of difference between ‘Yes, I can ski’ and ‘Yes, I can ski Smelly Dogface.’

BLUE: Stinking Dogface.

DRIFT: I hope they still like us when we’re in body casts.

BLUE: I thought we were going to do the Bunny Hill.

ICE: You can’t impress a girl with the Bunny Hill.

DRIFT: (imitating) ‘Everybody skis. We have to ski.’ (back to self ) Just because we have a ski hill in our town doesn’t mean we have to follow the pied piper. And you with your eyes and your smiles. We so could have done the Bunny Hill.

BLUE: Sorry Slope.

DRIFT: What?

BLUE: The Bunny Hill. It’s called Sorry Slope.

ICE: I’m telling you right now. Those girls would not have liked us if we said we were going down Sorry Slope.

BLUE: We could have done Malevolent Moguls. Or The Hideous Holler.

DRIFT: Who names these runs?

BLUE: Marketing mavens, I’m telling you.

DRIFT: I hate this.

ICE: Why are you so pessimistic, huh? Maybe we CAN do it. Maybe we can make it down this hill. Maybe we can take the light from those girls’ eyes and absorb it. Like osmosis. We take the energy from their smiles and it will transform us into expert skiers. (he takes a deep breath) I can feel it. I feel that energy. We will make it down this hill. Say it with me. We will make it down this hill.


Drift, Blue, Ice

BLUE: We will make it down this hill.

ICE: (to DRIFT) You too. Say it!

BLUE & DRIFT: We will make it down this hill!

ICE: Louder!

BLUE & DRIFT: We will make it down this hill.

ICE: We will conquer Stinking Dogface!

BLUE & DRIFT: We will conquer Stinking Dogface!

ICE: Beat Dogface!

ALL THREE: Beat Dogface! Beat Dogface! Beat Dogface! Beat Dogface!

They cheer and high-five each other. They have big smiles on their faces.

BLUE: I feel great!

DRIFT: Do you really think we have a chance? Can we actually ski this hill and get those girls?

ICE: (cheerful) Not a snowball’s chance in hell.

DRIFT: Oh.

ICE: It’s all right. Win some, lose some.

DRIFT: Right.

ICE: There will be other girls.

DRIFT: Other girls.

There’s a pause.




GRoUP ScEnES 95

Drift, Blue, Ice

BLUE: But what do we do now?

DRIFT: We stay here and freeze to death or get eaten by animals.

ICE: Why am I friends with you?

DRIFT: Or we go down. Face first probably. With many broken limbs and abrasions along the way.

BLUE: I’m not seeing a happy ending here.

ICE: We could scream for help and the snow patrol will come get us. After which we’ll have to suffer the lingering and constant humiliation for years to come that we were rescued.

BLUE: And no girls.

ICE: Nope.

BLUE: That’s a quandary.

ICE: What?

BLUE: Problem.

ICE: So why not say problem?

BLUE: I’m a man of many depths.

ICE: Since when?

DRIFT: I hate to interrupt the word of the day discussion, but… (pause) What do we do?

ICE: Well…

The three look at each other for a moment.

ALL THREE: HELP!!!!!!!!!!


Nicola et al

PLAY: Football Romeo

GENRE: Serio-Comedy

TIME: 2:30

DESCRIPTION

Nicola and her friends are making plans to replace the lead in the school play with Nicola’s boyfriend. But Rick is no longer interested in the play and speaks his mind for the first time.

ACTING HINTS

Nicola is the leader and the other girls agree to anything she says. Pay attention to April’s dialogue, she is much more ‘harsh’ than the other girls. How do the other girls react to April?

This is the first time Rick tells the truth and speaks out against Nicola. How do the girls react? Nicola should be shocked. Why does Rick choose this exact moment to speak out?

The setting is NICOLA’s living room. BRITTANY, FELICITY, and APRIL gather around NICOLA, consoling her. RICK is off to the side, asleep.

NICOLA: I can’t kiss Danny Dinning.

APRIL: I hate Danny Dinning.

NICOLA: I don’t hate him. There’s just something fundamentally wrong in the universe if I have to kiss him.

APRIL: I hate him. We can’t just sit idly by while the Danny Dinnings of the world kiss our cheerleaders!

BRITTANY & FELICITY: Wow.

APRIL: What? What’s wrong with me now!




GRoUP ScEnES 97

Nicola et al

FELICITY: You’re so testy.

APRIL: Of course I am! We have to do something to Danny Dinning and we have to do it quick.

BRITTANY: If only we could make him drop out.

FELICITY: But then how do we get Rick in his place?

NICOLA: Rick. Rick!

RICK: (waking up) What what what?

NICOLA: You have to pay attention.

RICK: To what?

NICOLA: We’re making plans.

APRIL: We’re going to get Danny Dinning kicked out of the play and make you Romeo.

NICOLA: You have to listen.

RICK: I don’t care.

NICOLA: You have to care.

RICK: (he gives a sigh) Nicola. I don’t care about the stupid play.

NICOLA: What?

RICK: I’m glad I’m not in it. I don’t know why you think it’s so important you’re in it or your friends are in it. None of us wanted to audition. They only did… I only did cause you made me. I’m glad I don’t have to be Romeo.

NICOLA: But Rick -

RICK: I don’t want to talk about it anymore! I have things to do. I’ll see you later.


Nicola et al

RICK exits.

NICOLA: Rick. Rick! He’s never walked out on me before. He’s never been angry at me before. This is not the way it’s supposed to go.

APRIL: Forget about him. Once we get him the part, he’ll change his mind completely. He’ll love being Romeo to your Juliet.

NICOLA: (with a sigh) I guess.

BRITTANY: You know, he is kind of, sort of, right. I mean the only reason we auditioned is because you wanted us to. We’ve never liked theatre before and especially not Shakespeare. Why are we fighting for this? Rick doesn’t want to be in the play. April doesn’t want to play a boy and you don’t want to kiss Danny Dinning. Why don’t we just… let it go.

NICOLA: Let it go.

BRITTANY: Let it go.

FELICITY: Let it go?

BRITTANY: Let it go.

APRIL: Are you mental? This isn’t about a stupid play anymore. This is about the defiance of human nature. The mixing of cliques. He’s not one of us and we shouldn’t have to breathe the same air as him, let alone be in the same play.

NICOLA: April, isn’t that a bit extreme?

APRIL: It shouldn’t be allowed! Can’t you see? We have to defend our rights as perfect people. Are you with me? Are you with us or against us? Either you’re all in, or you’re out.

FELICITY: I’m in.

BRITTANY: I’m in, I’m in.




GRoUP ScEnES 99

Nicola et al

APRIL: Then tomorrow before the first readthrough, we strike!

NICOLA: Well, we’ll talk to Ms. Kavendish.

APRIL: Same diff.

FELICITY: Now that’s settled, who wants ice-cream?

BRITTANY: Oooooh I’m in the mood for chocolate chip.

FELICITY: Cherry cheesecake!

BRITTANY: I love cherry cheesecake!


Monica et al

PLAY: Oddball

GENRE: Serio-comic

TIME: 4:30

DESCRIPTION

Monica’s friends want to confront Monica over her boyfriend. But Monica is not interested in what they have to say. She’s ready, willing and able to stand up for her boyfriend.

ACTING HINTS

All the girls in this scene have strong wants. Brynn and the girls want Monica to break up with Dennis. Monica wants to stay with Dennis. What happens when these opposing wants conflict? How do the girls react?

Since this is a scene with five girls of the same age, make sure you give each a different personality. What makes each girl unique? Make it easy to tell them apart on stage.

The GIRLS gather together, laughing.

MONICA: That was fun.

BRYNN: That was great.

TISHA: My stomach hurts.

ZOE: No wonder.

HAILEY: You’re the one who ordered the large nachos.

ZOE: And ate them all.

TISHA: I couldn’t help it! They were so good.

They all laugh.




GRoUP ScEnES 101

Monica et al

MONICA: Anyone want to go to the mall? I don’t have to be home till 10.

The other GIRLS stop, and look at each other.

BRYNN: Sure!

ZOE: (elbowing BRYNN) Actually….

BRYNN: Oh. Right.

MONICA: Right what?

HAILEY: We’re doing this now?

ZOE: Now.

MONICA: Now what?

ZOE: We have to talk to you Monica.

BRYNN: In the parking lot?

ZOE: We can’t stop now, we started. It’s not fair to say ‘we need to talk’ and then stop. If it’s in the parking lot then it’s in the parking lot.

MONICA: What’s going on?

ZOE: We need to talk to you.

BRYNN: Why didn’t we do this in the restaurant?

ZOE: Because that was fun time. This is serious time.

MONICA: Serious about what?

TISHA: Since when are parking lots serious?

ZOE: Look, we started. That’s it. Hailey?


Monica et al

HAILEY: Monica, (she takes a deep and tragic breath) we need to talk to you.

MONICA: (wary) Ok.

ZOE: About Dennis.

TISHA: We’re not mad.

HAILEY: No, we’re not mad at you.

BRYNN: That’s very important.

TISHA: You need to know Monica, we are not mad.

MONICA: What does Dennis have to do with being mad at me? Did something happen?

GIRLS: No!

TISHA No, no.

BRYNN: Nothing’s happened.

ZOE: Well, yes.

HAILEY: Yes.

TISHA: Something very serious.

ZOE: We’re taking this seriously, Monica.

BRYNN: But we’re not mad.

HAILEY: Not at all.

BRYNN: We love you.

GIRLS: With all our hearts.

MONICA: Ok…




GRoUP ScEnES 103

Monica et al

BRYNN: It feels so wrong to do this in a parking lot.

HAILEY: Shhh!

ZOE: Ok. How long have we been friends?

TISHA: Forever.

ZOE: (linking her fingers together) Together forever.

HAILEY: (linking her fingers together) Forever together.

AUTUMN: (linking fingers) Since the third grade.

ZOE: There are no closer friends than us.

MONICA: (confused.) Am I dying?

ZOE: No!

BRYNN: Nothing like that.

HAILEY: Not serious like that.

TISHA: That’s way serious.

HAILEY: We’d never do something like that in a parking lot.

BRYNN: We shouldn’t be doing this in a parking lot.

HAILEY: Shh!

ZOE: This is different serious.

TISHA: Way serious in a completely different way.

ZOE: You have to dump your boyfriend.

MONICA: What?

BRYNN: It’s ok, don’t freak out! Zoe, that was harsh!


Monica et al

ZOE: I thought we decided harsh was good.

HAILEY: Soft start, soft start.

TISHA: Soft start, end harsh.

BRYNN: We didn’t get to the end.

TISHA: We’re in the middle.

BRYNN: You jumped.

ZOE: So what’s the middle?

TISHA: Uuuuuuuuuh Hailey?

HAILEY: I forget.

BRYNN: We talked about it.

HAILEY: We should have written it down.

MONICA: What’s going on?

HAILEY: It won’t hurt too much.

TISHA: How could it?

ZOE: Just rip him out of your life like a band aid.

BRYNN: One swift motion.

TISHA: It’s all for the best.

MONICA: I – I’m not dumping Dennis.

THE GIRLS draw back.

MONICA: I’m not dumping him. Why would I?

THE GIRLS look at each other and then at MONICA.




GRoUP ScEnES 105

Monica et al

ZOE: But, but, but,

GIRLS: You have to!

HAILEY: (to TISHA) Were we clear?

TISHA: I thought we were clear.

ZOE: The middle should have been harsh. I wasn’t wrong.

TISHA: Maybe we were too soft.

ZOE: Dump your boyfriend, how much clearer could we be?

MONICA: I’m not dumping him.

BRYNN: But Monica, you have to!

MONICA: Why?

GIRLS: Because!

ZOE: It’s obvious.

MONICA: How so?

ZOE: We girls, we fit. (she links her fingers together) We are a group.

HAILEY: Together forever, since the third grade.

TISHA: And we go out with guys who fit with us. (she links her fingers together)

MONICA: Ah.

BRYNN: I think she gets it.

MONICA: Oh I get it.

HAILEY: Dennis doesn’t fit.

MONICA: He fits with me.


Monica et al

ZOE: Ah ha! That’s our point!

TISHA: You’re spending time with him and not with us.

MONICA: He’s pretty sure he’s not welcome.

HAILIEY: What do you mean?

MONICA: You know what I mean.

BRYNN: We’re not snobs.

ZOE: We’re not.

BRYNN: We welcome everybody.

TISHA: We just don’t like him.

HAILEY: And don’t want him dating our friend.

ZOE: And you should dump him.

MONICA: (she shrugs and shakes her head) Sorry.

GIRLS: But, but, but,

BRYNN: This is stupid!

TISHA: She’s not getting it.

ZOE: Harsh middle, harsh middle!

HAILEY: Monica you have to see him how we do.

TISHA: (drawing a picture frame in the air) See him.

BRYNN: The hair.

TISHA: And the glasses.

ZOE: And laugh.




GRoUP ScEnES 107

Monica et al

HAILEY: And the computers.

ZOE: And the message T’s.

HAILEY: But not cute message T’s.

GIRLS: And the lizard.

MONICA: One time. One time he talked about the lizard!

ZOE: The lizard is bad!

MONICA: You asked about his hobbies!

ZOE: I meant scrapbooking!

MONICA: He doesn’t scrapbook!

ZOE: He should have lied!

MONICA: He likes lizards. That’s his thing.

THE GIRLS all gross out.

TISHA: Don’t you see how bad that is? You shouldn’t know about lizards.

ZOE: You’re making us mental.

HAILEY: We can’t stand it anymore.

ZOE: You have to dump him.

HAILEY: You’re ruining our lives!

GIRLS: Dump him, dump him, dump him!

MONICA: No!

THE GIRLS scream and fall all over each other, and land in a heap on the ground, breathing heavily.


Monica et al

MONICA is the only one left standing. She looks at them and shakes her head. She pauses before she speaks.

MONICA: I could dump him. I could change him, I could make him into someone more acceptable to you.

The GIRLS all look up with hope.

ZOE: Would you?

HAILEY: For us?

MONICA: No.

TISHA: But why?

MONICA: I don’t want to.

The GIRLS all sink down to the floor.

MONICA: Because he’s kind. And he’s funny. And he loves me. He loves me. Bubble-headed Monica. Mall loving Monica. Silly, stupid Monica. He tells me I’m beautiful. He loves to go on dates. He brings me romantic snacks. Why would I want that to change?

The GIRLS get up slowly.

BRYNN: What kind of romantic snacks?

MONICA: Heart shaped jujubees.

BRYNN: Awwwwwww.

ZOE: Brynn!

MONICA: (she walks away a couple of steps) So. Are we done? Can we leave the parking lot and go to the mall?




GRoUP ScEnES 109

Monica et al

BRYNN: Yes.

ZOE: Brynn!

BRYNN: (moving to stand beside MONICA) I hate the stupid parking lot.

TISHA: (moving to stand beside MONICA) Brent never brings me romantic snacks.

ZOE: Tisha!

HAILEY: (moving to stand beside MONICA) I love jujubees.

MONICA: Zoe?

BRYNN: Come on Zoey.

ZOE stands alone. She looks like she’s really struggling with her decision and pauses before she speaks.

ZOE: Do I have to……. touch the lizard?

MONICA: I most solemnly swear that your hand will never come within a hundred feet of any lizard. Together forever?

ZOE: (with a smile) Forever.


Appendix

Competing in the Duet Acting category of Individual Events? Here are some hints and tips!

Choosing a SceneWhen choosing a scene, look for the following:

Features both actors. Avoid pieces comprising of a series of monologues for one actor with one line responses for the other.

A defined relationship between characters. You want something to work with in your scene and a defined relationship is the first place to start.

Look for a power struggle. •

Look for interaction. Is there lots of back and forth? •

What is the connection between the characters? •

Look for conflict. Remember, conflict is not just two people fighting! •

Look for opposing personalities. •

Simple blocking. Your chosen piece should offer a few simple but strong physical choices.

Read the whole play. How can you properly prepare the scene if you don’t know what’s happened to the characters earlier in the play?

Make sure the scene is the right length. If you’re competing with your scene there’s nothing worse than going over time! Choose a scene that is WELL under the designated time limit. That way you have time to play with pacing and pauses.

Like the scene. It’s important to like your character, like what’s going on between the two characters, like the scenario. The more you like the scene, the more you’re going to want to work on it and make it the best it can be. The dislike of a scene easily leads to a poor performance.

Competition Do’s And Don’t’sPerforming a scene is not like performing a monologue. You have to trust your partner and your partner has to trust you. Make sure you’re both on the same page!

DO know the rules and instructions. • There’s no excuse for not knowing the parameters of the competition. Go over them with your partner.

DON’T be late! • Better yet, be early.




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Appendix

APPEnDIX

DO arrive together. • The nerves always go into overdrive when an actor wonders where their partner is!

DO take care with your appearance. • You and your partner are a team, and you should dress as a team. If you’re in a nice dress and your partner is in ripped jeans, it looks like you haven’t properly prepared. Further to that, DON’T wear jeans that hang below your butt. DON’T wear belly shirts and mini skirts. DON’T wear clanky jewelry or flip flops. Make it easy for the judges to focus on your acting and not what you’re wearing.

DON’T make last minute changes. • Your partner comes up to you the morning of the competition and bubbles, ‘I have the perfect blocking for the scene!’ Resist, resist, resist. Keep your scene as you’ve rehearsed it. Start changing the blocking and it’s a quick hop to forgetting your lines at the worst moment. Stick with what you know.

DO warm up with your partner. • This is a scene, not a monologue. You both need to be in the same head space. Take deep breaths together. Do the mirror exercise. The more together you are before competition, the better your performance will be.

DO be respectful of the other actors. • Remember they’re probably feeling exactly the same way you do! DON’T talk to your partner during other performances. DON’T criticize other performers. DON’T brag to each other.

DO be respectful of your partner. • If you’re a nervous talker and your partner has not so politely asked you to be quiet, now is not the time to pick a fight! Talk to them about it after the scene. Remember, your partner has their own way of dealing with their nerves.

DON’T forget to practice your intro and DO remember • who the playwright is! You’ll start the judges off on the wrong foot if you’re sloppy before you’ve started. It makes you look like you don’t care about your acting.

DO keep going if things go wrong. • What if one of you jumps a page or blanks out? What if you’re the one who blanks? If you stop then the judges have to stop too; they’ll know for sure you’ve made a mistake.

DO have fun!•


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PO Box 1064, Crystal Beach, ON, Canada L0S 1B0Tel 1-866-245-9138 / Fax 1-877-245-9138

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The Middle School Scene BookEdited by Lindsay Price

A collection of comedic, character-driven, and challenging scenes for the middle school students.

Perfect for classwork or for IE Competitions.

5332097819269

ISBN 978-1-926533-20-9




THE MIDDLE SCHOOL SCENE BOOK

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Transcript of THE MIDDLE SCHOOL SCENE BOOK