THEADVENTURESOFGILBLASOFSANTILLANE

BYALAIN-RENELESAGE

TRANSLATEDFROMTHEFRENCHBYTOBIASSMOLLETT

BIBLIOGRAPHICNOTEANDACKNOWLEGDEMENTS

Thetextofthisversionistakenfrom

TheAdventuresofGilBlasbyA.R.LeSage.Translatedfromthe

FrenchbyTobiasSmollettwithanintroductionbyWilliamMorton

Fullerton.GeorgeRoutledge&Sons.1913

WewishtoacknowledgethecourtesyandhelpfulnessofMs.Sally

SweetofITPSinclearingcopyrightforthispublication.

THEAUTHOR’SDECLARATION.

THEREaresomepeopleintheworldsomischievousasnottoread

aworkwithoutapplyingtheviciousorridiculouscharactersit

mayhappentocontaintoeminentorpopularindividuals.I

protestpubliclyagainstthepretendeddiscoveryofanysuch

likenesses.Mypurposewastorepresenthumanlifehistorically

asitexists:GodforbidIshouldholdmyselfoutasaportrait-painter.

Letnotthereaderthentaketohimselfpublicproperty;forifhe

does,hemaychancetothrowanunluckylightonhisowncharacter:

asPhaedrusexpressesit,Stultenudabitanimiconscientiam.

CertainphysiciansofCastille,aswellasofFrance,are

sometimesalittletoofondoftryingthebleedingandlowering

systemontheirpatients.Vices,theirpatrons,andtheirdupes,

areofeveryday’soccurrence,Tobesure,Ihavenotalways

adoptedSpanishmannerswithscrupulousexactness;andinthe

instanceoftheplayersatMadrid,thosewhoknowtheir

disorderlymodesoflivingmayreproachmewithsofteningdown

theircoarsertraits:butthisIhavebeeninducedtodofroma

senseofdelicacy,andinconformitywiththemannersofmyown

country.

GILBLASTOTHEREADER.

READER!harkyou,myfriend!Donotbeginthestoryofmylife

tillIhavetoldyouashorttale.

TwostudentstravelledtogetherfromPenafieltoSalamanca.

Findingthemselvestiredandthirsty,theystoppedbythesideof

aspringontheroad.Whiletheywererestingthere,afterhaving

quenchedtheirthirst,bychancetheyespiedonastonenear

them,evenwiththeground,partofaninscription,insome

degreeeffacedbytime,andbythetreadofflocksinthehabit

ofwateringatthatspring.Havingwashedthestone,theywere

abletotracethesewordsinthedialectofCastille;Aquiesta

encerradaelalmadellicenciadoPedroGarcias.“Herelies

interredthesoulofthelicentiatePeterGarcias.”

Hey-day!roarsouttheyounger,alively,heedlessfellow,who

couldnotgetonwithhisdecipheringforlaughter:Thisisa

goodjokeindeed:“Hereliesinterredthesoul.”….Asoul

interred!….Ishouldliketoknowthewhimsicalauthorof

thisludicrousepitaph.Withthissneerhegotuptogoaway.His

companion,whohadmoresense,saidwithinhimself:Underneath

thisstoneliessomemystery;Iwillstay,andseetheendofit.

Accordingly,helethiscomradedepart,andwithoutlossoftime

begandiggingroundaboutthestonewithhisknifetillhegotit

up.Underithefoundapurseofleather,containinganhundred

ducatswithacardonwhichwaswrittenthesewordsinLatin:

“Whoeverthouartwhohastwitenoughtodiscoverthemeaningof

theinscription,Iappointtheemyheir,inthehopethouwilt

makeabetteruseofmyfortunethanIhavedone!”Thestudent,

outofhiswitsatthediscovery,replacedthestoneinits

formerposition,andsetoutagainontheSalamancaroadwiththe

soulofthelicentiateinhispocket.

Now,mygoodfriendandreader,nomatterwhoyouare,youmust

belikeoneortheotherofthesetwostudents.Ifyoucastyour

eyeovermyadventureswithoutfixingitonthemoralconcealed

underthem,youwillderiveverylittlebenefitfromtheperusal:

butifyoureadwithattentionyouwillfindthatmixtureofthe

usefulwiththeagreeable,sosuccessfullyprescribedbyHorace.

INTRODUCTIONbyWM.MORTONFULLERTON.

WALTERSCOTT,whocravedthebeatitude—thewordishisown—

thatwouldattendtheperusalofanotherbookasentrancingas

GilBlas,wasonthesideoftheuntutoredpublicwhichknows

nothingoftechnicalclassificationsorofM.Bruneti�re’stheory

ofthe“evolutiondesgenres.”Lesage’sgreatbook,though

scarcelyansweringtotheexacttechnicaldefinitionofa

picaresquenovel—thebiographyofapicaroorrogue—

belongs,nevertheless,byitsexternalform,tothepicaresque

typeoffiction;andScottwouldcertainlyhaveadmittedthatits

picaresquenesswasverygoodofitskind;thatitwasinfactas

picaresqueascouldbeexpectedofaFrenchmanwhowas

conspicuouslyan“honn�tehomme”andwhosignedhimself

“bourgeoisdeParis.”ButInalllikelihoodhewouldhave

instantlyaddedthatitwasnotthe“picaresqueness”ofGilBlas

whichhasgiventhatproductionitsfame;andthat,ifLesage’s

masterpiecehaslivedsolong,andifitlivesto-daywithsucha

freshandabundantlife,thisconstantappealhasbeenmadein

spiteofitsresemblancetotheSpanishpicaresqueprototype.

Theapplicationofthescientificmethodtoliterarycriticism

duringthelastgenerationhassteadilytendedtodefineworksof

artas“documents”oftheirepoch,andatthesametimeto

classifythemaccordingtotheirstructuralvariationsrather

thantoacceptthemwhollyassourcesofhumanpleasure.The

novelofLesageforthepurposesofclassification,maybeviewed

asapicaresquenovel,anditisinterestingandlegitimateto

notethatitisnodoubtthebestofitskind;yetthereis

equallylittledoubtthatthousandsofreaderswhodonotknow

whattheword“picaresque”meanshaveforseveralgenerations

regardedGilBlasassimplythebestofallnovels,andthat

theirreasonshavebeenbasedonqualitiesquiteindependentof

themouldintowhichithappenedtoberun.Thisis,infact,the

truthwhichthesebriefremarksaremeanttosetforth.Inorder

tobecomeaclassic,andinordertoholditsownamongthebooks

oftheworld,GilBlashashadtolivedownitspicaresqueness.

Thebookhassurvived,andbecomeoneofthegreatbooks,

notwithstandingthecharacteristicswhichseemeddestinedto

confineittothemuseumofantiqueliteraryforms.

I

WalterScott’srecognitionofthesupremedelightfulnessofGil

Blashasnotbeengeneralamongthecritics;indeed,thesenseof

itsintrinsicvalueasadefinitionoflifemustratherbeplaced

tothecreditoftheuncriticalpublic.Voltaire,referringto

Lesageinhis“Si�cledeLouisXIV,”limitshispraisetothe

remark:“HisnovelGilBlashassurvivedbecauseofthe

naturalnessofthestyle.”Thecurtnessandinadequacyofthis

remarkareprobablyduerathertothefactthatVoltairedidnot

seebeyondthesuperficialtraitsofthisnovel,itsgeneral

picaresqueatmosphere,than,ashassooftenbeenasserted,to

anymaliciousintenttodecryabookinwhichhesupposedhimself

tohavebeenhelduptoridicule.[Thetraditionalviewis,

however,plausibleenough,asMr.JamesFitzmaurice-Kellyhas

showninhisintroductiontotheeditionofGilBlaspublishedin

the“World’sClassics.”TherecanbenodoubtastoLesagehaving

ridiculedVoltaireintwoofhisplays.]Joubert,whosedelicacy

wasahothousefruitgrowninthethinsubsoilandthe

devitalisedairinwhichhewascompelledtolive,corroborates

Voltaire,whilerevealinghisownprejudices—afterall,isnot

themaininterestofcriticismthelightitthrowsuponthe

critic?—inacharacteristicutterance:“Lesage’snovelswould

appeartohavebeenwritteninacaf�byadomino-player,after

spendingtheeveningattheplay.”Evidentlythisisalongway

fromthe“beatitude”ofWalterScott,butitisnearerthepoint

ofviewofMr.WarnerAllen,who,whilehenotesinhis

remarkableGeneralIntroductiontohiseditionofCelestinein

thePicaresqueSectionofthe“LibraryofEarlyNovelists,”to

whichthisvolumebelongs,thatGilBlas“hasaconscience,”is

ingeniouslyeffectiveinarguingthatthespiritofGilBlasis

essentiallypicaresque—bywhichhemeansthatrealismand

materialismaresopredominantlyitsnotethatitmustbeclassed

wellbelow“DonQuixote,”wheretheheterogeneouspicaresque

materialisbeautifullyfusedbythe1maginationofanidealist.

“ItisjustbecauseLesageignorestheidealisticsideofman,”

Mr.Allensays,“thatGilBlasmissesbeingagreatcreation.”On

theotherhand,LaHarpe,whohadreadmanybooks,butwasno

doubttheveryoppositeofascientificcriticofliterature,

praisesGilBlasnotmerely,asdidScott,foritsentertainment,

itsagr�ment,butalsoforitsmoralinspiration;utiledulci,he

insists,oughttobethedeviceofthisexcellentbook,

forgettingthatLesagehashimselfwrittenthepreceptofHorace

onitstitle-page.“C’estl’�coledumondequeGilBlas,”La

Harpecontinues;andheremarkswithsingularfelicitythat

LesageinGilBlas“hasnotfallenintothatgratuitousprofusion

ofminutedetailwhichisnowadaystakentobetruth.”This

commentsuggeststheprobabilitythatthereproachaddressedto

LesageastohislackofidealismisonethatLaHarpewouldbe

disinclinedtoaccept;andthattheywhomakeithaveother

standardsforjudgingaworkofartthanthoseofthepublicto

whomitisaddressed,orindeedthanthoseoftheartisthimself,

especiallysuchanartistasLesage,whoinhis“Declaration”to

thereadersaysexpressly:“Mysoleaimhasbeentorepresent

lifeasitis”:“Jenemesuispropos�quederepr�senterlavie

deshommestellequ’elleest.”

CertainofLesage’spredecessorshadalreadydeclaredittobe

theiraimtowritebookswhichshouldbeawholesomereaction

againsttheromanticismofthetalesofchivalrythathadsolong

delightedthetasteofEurope.Thesub-titleofAlem�n’sfamous

novel,Guzm�ndeAlfarache,wasAtalayadelaVidawhich

Chapelaintranslatedby“Image”or“MiroirdelaVieHumaine.”

AndlongbeforeLesage,theauthorofL’HistoireComiquede

FrancionusedalmosttheidenticaltermsofAlem�nandLesagein

announcinghistale“Nousavonsdesseindevoiruneimagedela

viehumaine,desortequ’ilnousenfautmontrericidiverses

pi�ces.”Francion,lesspicaresquethantheheroofAlem�n,was

undoubtedlywhathehasbeencalledbyoneofLesage’s

biographers,M.Lintilhac,adirectprecursorofGilBlas;and

therecanbenoquestionastotheimportanceoftheinfluence

exerciseduponLesagebyCharlesSorel’sadmirableperformance.

But,howevereasilyevenalittleeruditioncandiscoverpossible

prototypesofGilBlasinthelatesixteenthandearly

seventeenthcenturyliteratureofbothFranceandSpain—

howeverpicaresque,inaword,GilBlasmaybe,andwhateverelse

itmaybe—itspicaresquenesswasobviously,forLesage,notan

endinitself,butmerelyadeviceforcarryingouthismain

project,whichwas“therepresentationoflife”;andthemeaning

heputintothosewordswasincomparablyricherthanwastheir

connotationonthelipsofanAlem�norevenaSorel.Lesage

foundreadytohishandoneofthemostconvenientliteraryforms

tintthenoveleverassumedfortheachievementoftheendhehad

inview.ThatendwastoholdamirroruptoNature,andtothe

wholeofNature.

Thisambitiousprojecthashauntedmostobserverswhohave

essayedthenovelform.Itwasobviouslytheendandaimofthe

authorofAnnaKarenina.Butsuchisthecomplexityofhuman

relations,suchthevarietyofthekindsofhumanplights,such

theswiftpassageofevents,sucharetheendlessdifferencesand

thefleetingcharacterofthesituationspresentedtothe

artisticconsciousnessatanymomentoftime,thatonlythemost

self-confidentcraftsmanwouldbetempted,inhissanemind,to

undertaketheircompleterepresentation.Themirrorinwhicha

writerwouldseektoconvergeandtoforeshortenthevast

spectacleofthingsmustneedsbeanall-butunmanageable

revolvingmirrorofgiganticdimensions,unlesssomewayhefound

ofdispensingwithsuchmachineryaltogether.Tolstoimadeno

attempttoachieveanartisticsynthesisoflifeasawhole.He

wascontenttomaplifeoutonasortofMercator’sprojection.

Balzacdespairedaltogetherofsuccess,andconfinedhimselfto

“doing”themultitudinousphasesofhumanactivitypiecemeal.

Lesage,ontheotherhand,hitonthehappyideaofusingthe

picarotype,thepicaresquetraditioninthenovel,tofacilitate

hisproject.Andwhatdevice,infact,couldbeneaterandmore

rapid?CertainlynottheinventionofZola.Theauthorofthe

seriesoftheRougon-Macquartsethimselfthetaskofdescribing

thewholeofFrenchsocietyattheendofthelastcentury.He

believedhimselftohaveimprovedonBalzac’smethodby

conceivingofafamily-tree,withbranchessufficientlywide-spreadingtoillustrateeverykindofactivityofwhichFrench

menorFrenchwomenwerecapableinhistime.Theunityofhis

resultwastobesecuredbypostulatingafamily,thesumofthe

severallivesofwhosemembersshouldbecoterminouswiththe

ConsciousexistenceofalltheiressentialFrenchfellow-typesat

acertainhistoricalperiod.Theplanwasingeniousbut

artificiallyingenuous.

Lesage,writingattheopeningoftheeighteenthcentury,had,it

istrue,thelucktobefreetoemploy—or,infact,tohave

thrustuponhimbytheliterarytasteofhistime—asimpler

trickfortherepresentationoflife,Theliteraryairwasfull

ofpicaresqueodours.But,whileLesagecameafterSoreland

Alem�n,andascoreofothersamestory-tellerseagertotemper

thebombastofthehourbythesavingsaltofrealism,theliving

modelsthatsurroundedhimwerequiteassuggestiveasanyhe

mighthavebeenledtoimitateinthebooksofhispredecessors.

Lintilhac,Cherbuliez,Bruneti�re,havedweltindetailonthis

fact.WhatneedhadLesageofaGuzm�noraFrancion,whenbefore

hisveryeyesweresuchconspicuousmodelsforthestudyofthe

valetparvenuastheCardinalsDuboisandAlberoni?Andwhygo

fartherafieldthanthememoirsofthefamousGourville,which

appearedin1673,ifonereallyfeelsimpelledatallcoststo

accountfortheoriginofGilBlas,andtoanswerthefutile

question,“WheredidLesagegethisidea?”Thatkindofinquiry

explainseverythingexcepttheessential.HomerandShakespeare,

WalterScottandCorneille,havebeenputtothesametortureas

Lesage;andinthefoldsoftheirroyalrobeswholecoloniesof

industriousparasiticmothsarestillfuriouslyandoften

enviouslyatwork.Thereisa“Lesagequestion”asthereisan

“Homericquestion.”Butofthisthepublicreckslittle.It

sanelyholdstheviewofM.deMaurepas,whowittilydefinedan

authoras“unhommequiprendauxlivrestoutcequiluipasse

parlat�te.”Thepublicrightlyjudgestheworkofartbythe

criterionofpleasurewhichitiscapableofgiving.Bythat

standardGilBlaswaslongagoclassedamongthedelightfulbooks

oftheworld.Howmanyofitsbeautiesareplagiarisms,or

whetheranyofthemare,areinquirieswhichthewisearecontent

toleavetothemandarinsofliterature.[Whiletheoft-reported

storyofthepillagebyLesageofalostSpanishmanuscriptisa

myth,itisincontestablethatinthelastbooksofGilBlashe

embodiedlongpassagesfromaFrenchtranslationoftwoItalian

pamphletsonTheDisgraceofCountOlivares,andfromabook

publishedin1683atCologneentitled,LeMinistreParfaitoule

Comte-Duc.ItiseasytoprovealsothatLesagehadread

LazarilladeTormesandagreatmanySpanishtalesandplays;

but,asM.Lintilhacsays,sohadCorneille,yettheCidremains

theCid.]

II

Therepresentationoflife,then,istheavowedobjectofLesage.

GilBlasisamicrocosm.OnemightapplytoLesagethewordsof

BalzacinallusiontotheComedieHumaine:“J’auraiport�une

soci�t�touteenti�redansmat�te.”GilBlasisapicture,

singularlyvividandcomprehensive,ofthesocietyofFranceat

thecloseofthereignofLouisXIVandatthebeginningofthe

Regency.Lesage,likeSt.Simon,soughttoreflectthelifeof

histime;butheisgreaterthanSt.Simonbecauseofthelarger

generalinterestandsignificanceofhisliteraryform.Lesage

wasagentleman,serenely,gailytakingnotesontheworldthat

surroundedhim;but,asitpleasedhimtopublishallhisnotes

inhisownlifetime,headoptedthenovelformandthedeviceof

aSpanishatmosphere.HappilythesocietythatsurroundedLesage

intheParisoftheendoftheseventeenthandthebeginningof

theeighteenthcenturieswassufficientlycomplexand

representativeforanexhaustivepictureofthatworldtoassume

atypicalvalue.

GilBlasisanencyclopadiaofhumantypes.Noothersinglebook

containssorichacollectionofspecimensofthegenushomo.The

successwithwhichLesagehasintroducedintoGilBlasvirtually

everyformofhumancharacter,allsortsandconditionsofmen,

isoneofthemiraclesofliteraryart.Thepurelytraditional

picarotypes,thevagabondandthebeggar,theunscrupulous

highwaymanandthecut-throat,have,afterall,comparatively

smallimportanceinthegreatcomedyoflifewhichLesage

depicts.Thesepicarotypesmoveinandoutofthevastthrong

peoplinghispagesmuchastheircounterpartsintheflesh,the

ApachesoftheMaraisquarter,jostledonthePontNeufthe

honestworkman,thecountrybumpkin,thebankerTurcaret,the

bourgeoismerchant,thestruttingsoldier,thebarefootmonk,the

daintilysteppingpetitsma�tres,theauthorsandtheactors,the

ministersandthehighofficials,theservantsandthe

adventurers,thepriests,andthepr�cieusespeeringfromtheir

vinaigrettes.Fromthebrigandcavethatshelteredthejail-bird

tothedrawing-roomoftheMarquisedeChaves,fromtheboudoir

oftheenticingLauretothecabinetoftheDukeofOlivares,we

visiteveryhauntofhumanactivityandeverysocialcondition,

conversingonthewaywithcomedians,doctors,poets,lawyers,

statesmen,valets,judgesoftheInquisition,shopkeepers,

courtesans,archbishops,andcountlessotheractorsoftheHuman

Comedy.Thefinalimpressionisthatwehavebeenincontactwith

thewholeoflifeandwithlifeasawhole.Inthisconnexionit

ispertinenttoquotetheverdictofNodierinthe“Notice”

prefixedtothefamousandnowrareeditionofGilBlas

containingthewoodcutsofJeanGigoux(Paris1835):“Commeil

avaitembrass�toutcequiappartient�l’hommedanssa

composition,ilosaseprescrired’embrassertoutelalanguedans

sontravail.”Inotherwords,thegrammarianandthe

lexicographerhaveinGilBlaswhatNodierisjustifiedin

calling“unmonumentdelalangue.”

Wehavewitnessedtheamusingspectaclearm-in-armwithGilBlas

deSantillane,apuppetofcircumstance,butthemostgood-naturedofcompanions.Noyouthofsprightlierwit,ofkeener

observation,orofmoreunfailinggoodhumourwaseverbornof

mortalmanorimmortalwriter.GilBlasistooagreeableafellow

forustodreamofpartingcompanywithhimmerelybecauseofhis

escapades.Moreover,noonewaseverlonginhiscompanywithout

discoveringthatthefirstfruitofhisinnategiftofobservation

isahabitofreflectiongraduallyconductinghimtothepointof

viewofthegreatAmericanpragmatist.ForGilBlas,asfor

Franklin,whateverelsehonestymaybe,itisatalleventsthe

bestpolicy.Hisambition“togeton,”tosucceed,isnotthe

ambitionofaJulienSorel.Heisnotreadyandwillingto

succeedatanyprice.HewouldnotsaycynicallywithMarie-CarolineofNaples:“jevoistropquelaforceseulecompteet

quelabonnefoinesertqu’a�tredupe.”(LettertotheMarquis

deGallo,July2,1800.)InthecaseofGilBlas,thehabitof

reflectionhasengenderedaconscience.Ashegrowsolderin

experience,thepracticalpromptingsofthatconsciencetendto

arrestmanyanimpulsetoindulgehispettyvicesandto

reinforcethevirtueswhichheisprudentenoughtoregardas

useful.Hiseffortstobetterhislot,whiletheybringtothe

forehisharmlessvanity,andoftenindeedacertainless

agreeablesnobbishness,areafteralltohiscredit.Heisthe

firsttolaughathisownmistakes,asheisthefirsttolearn

thelessonofhisblunders.Hereisacharacteristicutteranceof

his:

“Iletmyselfgowiththecurrentforthreeweeks.Igavemyself

uptoeveryformofvoluptuouspleasure.ButIwillsayatthe

sametimethatinthemidstofitallasenseofremorseoften

mingledbitternesswithmydelight.Debauchdidnotstiflethis

remorse;myremorseincreased,onthecontrary,inproportionas

Ibecamemoreandmoreofadebauchee;and,asaresultofmy

fortunatelyhonestnature,thedisorderofthetheatricallife

begantostrikemewithhorror.Ah,wretchthatyouare,Isaid

tomyself,isitthusthatyouarefulfillingtheexpectationsof

yourfamily?Isitimpossible,merelybecauseyouareaservant,

tobeanhonestman?Doyoureallyfinditworthwhiletolive

withsuchaviciouscrew?Envy,angerandavaricedominatesome

ofthem;modestyisunknowntoothers.Somehavegiventhemselves

uptointemperanceandidleness,whileinotherspridehasbecome

insolence.Enoughofthis!Iwilldwellnolongerwiththeseven

deadlysins.”

FromallthatweknowofLesagehimself,aswellasfroma

comparisonofGilBlaswiththeauthor’sotherWorks,itseems

legitimatetoconcludethatthegoodhumourofhismostfamous

heroismerelytheexpressionofhisownphilosophicgaiety,at

alleventsofhisowndisabusedplacidity,hisbourgeois

moderationandpracticalsense,hisbiastowardtakingthings

easily.Life,whenviewedattheangleadoptedbyLesage,isan

endlessseriesofcomicsituationsofahighlydivertingand

edifyingcharacter.Manyofitsconventions,whicharenurtured

onhypocrisyandsnobbery,formaconstantobjectofhisgood-humouredraillery,justastheyformthesubject-matterofthe

comicverveofhisgreatmaster,Moli�re.Bothhavethemost

refreshingsenseofvaluesandanunimpeachableintellectual

honesty.

Themostcomicincidentsofthetalearetheseriesofrebuffs

experiencedbyLesage’snaiveherobeforehefinallyreachesthe

pointwherediscretionbecomessecondnature.Withwhattouching

andrespectfulcandourdoesGilBlasfallapreytothe

pretensionsandfoiblesofthegreat!Notetheartwithwhich

Lesage,juxtaposinghisherowith,forinstance,anArchbishopof

Granada,showsthevainprelatesoenamouredofhisown

productionsastosuffernohonestcriticismfromeventhemost

disinterestedofhisacolytes.Firstcajoledbyflattery,then

infuriatedbythenaivefranknessofGilBlas,whoseopinionhe

hadsolicited,heshowstherashyouththedoor;andGilBlas

returnsonceagaintohislifeofadventure.Itishisrichfund

ofgoodsensethatsaveshimhereasthroughouthiscareer,and

thatkeepshisjudgmentsaneandhishearttrueamidallthe

eccentricitiesandaffectationsandpassingpassions,andeven

thetemptations,whichsurroundandbesethimduringhis

checkeredyears.Thisjollyeasy-goingbooncompanionisalong

timelearningtobecanny,butheisneverreallyafool.He

comesoutultimatelythepoorerforthelossofagoodmany

illusions,butprofoundlyconvincedthatstraightforwardnessin

humanrelationsisasdesirableagoodassimplicityinart.

WatchhimwithhisfriendFabrice,turnedwriter�lamode,after

havingbeentheastutelackeywhoearlyinlifedefinedwithsuch

cold-bloodedcynicismtheidealsofaservant:

“lem�tierdelaquaisestimpossible,jel’avoue,pourun

imbecile;maisiladescharmespourungar�ond’esprit.Ung�nie

sup�rieurquisemetenconditionnefaitpassonservice

mat�riellementcommeunnigaud.Ilentredansunemaison

pourcommanderplut�tquepourservir.Ilcommencepar�tudier

sonma�tre,ilsepr�te�sesd�fauts,gagnesaconfianceetle

m�neensuiteparlenez.”

Fabrice,seizedby“laraged’�crire,”asGilBlascallsit,and

convincedthathehasinhimthestuffofagreatwriter,ignores

thesageadviceofhisemployerwhohaswarnedhimthatpoetryis

notallbeerandskittles,andcomesuptoMadrid,thecentreof

“lesbeauxesprits,”“inordertoformhistaste.”Hefallsunder

theinfluenceofoneoftheleadersinalog-rollingliterary

set,andsoadroitlyimitatesthefashionofthehourthatheis

regardedasoneofthecleverestwritersoftheyounger

generation.HeandGilBlasmeet,aftermanyyears,overabottle

ofwine;andFabricereadstohisfriendasonnetwhichGilBlas

findsabsurdlyobscure.“Apoetcapableofproducingsuchrubbish

asthat,”hesays,“candeceiveonlyhistime”;andheadds,

“yoursonnetismerelypompousnonsense.”Thetortured,involved,

affectedstyledisgustsGilBlasassuchastylealwaysdisgusted

Lesage,whoseoneambitionwastobean“�crivainnaturelqui

parlecommelecommundeshommes,”andwhodetested“lelangage

pr�cieux”whichthegreatladiesandcertainwitsofhistime

tooktobethemarkofgeniusandapasswordforimmortality.

Fabricebecomesangry.“Tun’esqu’uneb�teavectonstyle

naturel,”heexclaims;andhemaliciouslyremindsGilBlasof

whatbefellhimwiththeArchbishopofGranada.Theallusion

makesthetwooldfriendslaugh,andtheyfinishtheeveningover

athirdbottle.

Yes,GilBlas,whoisakindofjoyousjack-of-alltrades,

capable,asFabriceonanotheroccasionputsit,offulfilling

allkindsofemployment,sincehepossesses“l’outiluniversel,”

isinterestingandsympatheticquiteasmuchbecauseofhissound

senseandreadywitasbecauseofhisamusingadventures.But

thisgoodsenseandthiswit,itshouldberemembered,arethe

fruitsofhisexperience.GilBlas’scharacterisslowlyformed

bylifeunderthereader’seye.Successivelythedupeofthe

habitsandthemanners,theprejudicesandtheidealsofeach

socialconditionwhichhetraversesinhisadvancetowardsthe

stableequilibriumofmiddleage,heistoointelligenteverto

remaindazzledbyhissurroundingsformorethanabriefperiod.

Youconstantlyhearhim,aftereachfreshroundwithFate,saying

inhisnaturalFrenchway:“�an’estpas�a;theremustbesome

thingbetterthanthatinstoreforme!”Eventheseductionof

lifeatCourtceaseseventuallytocharmhim;andoneofhismost

poignantregretsisthefactthathehadforgottenunderthat

corruptinginfluencehisfatherandmotherandtheoldcanon,his

uncle.Hedoeshisbestlaterontomakeamendsforthisneglect.

OnhiswaytohiscountryplaceatLiriasheissuddenlyfilled

withremorse,andheturnsasidetowardsOviedo,wherehis

parentslive.Hisowndreamnowistowatchovertheirlast

years;andhelooksforward,onarrivinghome,toinscribingin

goldlettersonthedoorofhisfather’shousetheLatinverses:

“Inveniportum.SpesetFortuna,valete!

Satmelusistis;luditenuncalios!”

Alas!itisalmosttoolate,forhearrivesjustintimetobury

hisfather.Hehadpreviouslyenteredthecountryinn,wherehe

hadbeenrecognisedbytheinnkeeperwithlivelyjoy.“BySaint

AnthonyofPadua,”hishosthadexclaimed,“hereisthesonof

thegoodBlasdeSantillane”;andhiswifehadchimedinwith,

“Why,yes,soitis.Oh,Irecognisehim.Heishardlychanged.

It’sthatwide-awakelittleGilBlaswhohadmoreintelligence

thaninches.Icanstillseehimdroppinginhereforabottleof

wineforhisuncle’ssupper.”GilBlashaschanged,nevertheless.

Fabriceistookeennottoperceiveitsometimeafterwardswhen

GilBlasvisitshimatthehospital.Fabriceremarksuponhis

modestbearingandobserves:“Youhaven’tthevainandinsolent

airthatprosperityiswonttogive.”GilBlasexplainsthe

reasonwhy:“Lesdisgracesontpurifi�mavirtu;etj’aiapprisa

l’�coledel’adversit��jouirdesrichessessansm’enlaisser

poss�der.”Heisnowandthentobeabacksliderstill,butwe

knowthathehaslearnedtheessentiallessonoflife.Really,as

theItalianssay,“iltempo�galantuomo.”

III

Therapidityofthenarrativeenhancestheeffectofoptimism

whichissoinspiritingthroughoutthewholebook.The

transitionsfromtheepisodesofbadlucktothoseofgood

fortunetakeplace,asSmolletthasalreadypointedout,so

suddenlythatthereaderpositivelyhasnotimetopityGilBlas.

HeisspeedilyinspiredwithafirmconfidenceinLesage’s

ingenuity,whichsomehowmanagestoextricatehisherofromevery

possibleembarrassment.Lesage’spointofview,asanobserverof

life,isthusquicklyrevealedtobealivelysenseoflife’s

chronicsuccessionofupsanddowns,andofthemerelyrelative

importanceofitsplights.WhenGilBlasloseshisplacewith

CountGaliano,heremarks:

“IbegantolosecouragewhenIfoundmyselfbackagaininso

miserableacase.Ihadgrownaccustomedtotheconveniencesof

existence,andIcouldnolonger,asbefore,regardindigence

withcynicism.YetIwillconfessIwaswrongtoindulgein

sadnessafterhavingsomanytimesdiscoveredthatnosoonerhad

Fortuneupsetmethanitputmeonmyfeetagain.”

Lesageacceptsthestoicalidealofpatienceinadversity,buthe

doesnotacceptitinthestoicalway.Hisphilosophyisthe

ChristianbeliefinaProvidenceuponwhomsanemortalsmay

serenelyrely.Providence,heknows,canbecountedupontohold

thebalancetrueonthatDayofJudgment,whenallhumanthings

willbesetright,andwhentherewillbeastartlingreversalof

humanverdicts.Convinced,likeBishopButler,thatthingswill

beastheywillbe,hisexperienceoflifehastaughthimthat

thebestphilosophyistobideone’sme,allone’santennaeout

ForLesagethelogicalresultofhavingbeenfrequentlyafoolis

toceasebeingdupe.

Itwouldbepossibleandamusingtodrawaparallelinthis

connectionbetweenthephilosophyofLesageandthatofaneven

moresuccessfulFrenchplaywrightofthepresentday,M.Alfred

Capus—whohasnotyet,however,writtenaGilBlas—andto

contrastthemannerofthetwowiththatofBeyleinhis

characterisationofJulienSorel,GilBlasistoooften,ifyou

like,agenialrascal,asaresomanyofM.Capus’sheroes,but

heisneveranodiouslycynicalonelikehisservantScipion,and

likeJulien.WhileLesagecouldsaywithPhilinte,discreetly

blamingthevicesofmankind:

“Jeprendstoutdoucementleshommescommeilssont,

J’accoutumemon�me�soufirircequ’ilsfont…

Oui,jevoiscesd�fautsdontvotre�memurmure

Commevicesunis�l’humainenature,

Etmonespritenfinn’estpasplusoffens�

Devoirunhommefourbe,injuste,int�ress�,

Quedevoirdesvautoursaffam�sdecarnage,

Dessingesmalfaisantsetdesloupspleinsderage,”

Beyledidnotconfinehimselfto“accustominghissoultosuffer”

theenormitiesthatmencommit,butpositivelycreatedinJulien

Sorelanunscrupulousprofessorofenergywhomhewouldappearto

haveregardedasanexcellentmodel.Lesage,ontheotherhand,

mustbelookeduponasamoralist;amoralistindulgent,nodoubt

—suchindulgencewasthefinestflowerofhisinexhaustible

knowledgeoflife—yetamoralistinthesamesenseinwhich

ShakespeareandMoli�rearemoralists.Moreover,Lesagehasno

cynicalBlasforcinghimtoconfinethesubject-matterofhis

noveltosuchnaturalisticnotationsaswerethestockin-trade

oftheGoncourtsand,toalargeextent,ofZola.

Hehadnotablynosuchbias,either“cynical”or“moral,”ashas

wittinglyalteredthereportsofsomanyBritishobserversof

life,whohaveregardedthepursuitofliteratureasamission,

tobeacceptedwithahighandstrenuouspurpose,forthe

improvementoftheirfellows.Thus,evenaThackeraywrotefirst

andforemostforedification.Inarecentlypublishedletterto

hisfriendRobertHall,ThackerayrefersasfollowstoVanity

Fair:

“Iwanttoleaveeverybodydissatisfiedandunhappyattheendof

thestory—weoughtalltobewithourownandallother

stories.GoodGod!don’tIsee(inthatmaybecrackedandwarped

looking-glassinwhichIamalwayslooking)myownweaknesses,

wickednesses,lusts,follies,shortcomings?incompany,letus

hope,withbetterqualitiesaboutwhichwewillpretermit

discourse.Wemustliftupourvoicesabouttheseandhowltoa

congregationoffools:somuch,atleast,hasbeenmyendeavour.”

(TheTimes,July17,1911.)

Theideaof“howlingtoacongregationoffools”wouldhave

struckLesageasacounselofimpertinentillbreeding,or,atall

events,asagrotesqueattitudeforaself-respectingnovelist.

Ofcourse,Thackeraywasinthetraditionofaliteraturewhich

countsamongitschiefmasterpiecesthePilgrim’sProgress;but

ifthePuritanpointofviewisgoodsociologyandgood

Tolstoism,itisnotnecessarilyforthatreasongoodart;andit

wouldevenseemtomake“goodart”amoredifficultachievement.

InthegreatbookjustmentionedthereisnolaughofTomJones

tocleartheair.Thackeraywouldhaveseemed,indeed,inVanity

Fairtohavebeenmoreofanartistthanhispamphleteering

preoccupationsappearedlikelytoallowhimtobecome.Hehimself

stateshisobjectinthatbooktohavebeentoindicatein

cheerfultermsthatweareforthemostpartanabominably

foolishandselfishpeople.Incorrigiblemisanthropist,hesets

outtodrawupasavageindictmentofthesocietyofhistime.He

ischeerful,ascheerfulasheknowshowtobe;but,ashehas

resolvedtogivenooneinhisbookachance,hischeerfulness

failstoproduceallitsintendedeffect.Finally,oneandall,

evenAmelia,arebrandedbecauseforedoomed.Butwhatisthe

result?Gibbetedforanexample,theyinspiremorepitythan

horror;andnotonlydoesalloursympathygoouttothemagainst

thedespoticheartlessnessoftheauthor,whosounfairlynailed

themtothecross,butwefaileventodrawthewholeofthe

usefulgeneralmoralwhichThackerayholdstobeessential.Thus

Thackerayupsetsevenhisownends;anxious,bytheconfessed

clarion-tonedmoralityofhisappeal,toproducetheeffectaimed

atbyaprophetinIsrael,heneverthelessinspiresinhisreader

aquickandsanerecoilbeforethearbitraryinjustice,or,at

allevents,theincredibilityoftheauthor’smisanthropy.In

literaryart,infact,theonlywaytoconveytheillusionof

realityistotelltheaveragetruthabouttheaverageman.

Lesage,liketheTolstoiofthegoodperiod,hadthetactand

goodsensetoperceivethis.Hedoesnotmaketheunscientific

andinartisticblunderofhumiliatinghisheroes.LikeaBalzac

oraTolstoioraHenryJames,hegivesthemtheirfullvalue,

takesthemforalltheyareworth.Thepretensionthat

naturalism,becausesuperficiallytruetoacertainaspectof

life,isrealisminthecompletesenseoftheword,isaview

whichLesageinGilBlastriumphantlyrepudiates;andhediffers

frommanyplaywrightsofcontemporaryFrance,whoappeartobeso

enamouredofcaddishnessastoregarditsmanifestationsaspre-eminentlyworthyofpresentationinthenoveloronthestage.

OneoftheablestofLesage’scommentatorshascalledhimthe

Homerofnaturalism;noneaterphrasecouldbefoundtodefine

hisimportanceandhismanner.

NorisitthefaultofLesageifhisimmediateinfluenceuponthe

literatureofhistimewasperhapsnotwhollywhathewould

himselfhavewishedittobe.Itisacommonplacetonotethat

LesagehelpedtoprepareinFrancethateighteenthcenturywith

whichhewasinsomanyrespectsoutofsympathy.Therewasa

wholesideofLesagethatwasoutoftouchwiththemodernworld

surroundinghim.M.Faguetseemstomeabsolutelyrightasto

thispoint.Thespirit,theattitudeofLesageareseventeenth-century—for,afterall,theseventeenthcenturywasrealist

whilesoeminentlymoralist;hebelievesinthesuperiorityof

theclearoldformofexpression;heabominatesanaffected

style;heprefersnaturalutterancethateverybodycanunderstand

toindividualexperimentsiningeniousphraseology.Moreover,

whilenotatalltheconsciousmoralist,heisamoralistallthe

same;hehasacertaingeneralisinghabit,thelikingforlarge

vistas,harmoniousinclusiverangesofthought;histhought-scapeshavethe

perfectionandtheproportionsofagardenbyLe

N�tre.Butitisneverthelesscertainthattheimmensesuccessof

Lesageasarealist,thefactthathemaderealismlooksoeasy,

constitutedaterribleincentivetoimitation;andthat,asa

matteroffact,hisexamplewasjustoneofthosewhichnowriter

couldaffordtofollowwhohadnothismarvellousgoodsenseand

hismentalandmoralpoise.Withoutsuchmoralbalanceandsuch

goodsensethewould-berealistisalmostcertaintobecome

addictedtothegrosserformsofnaturalism,toexercise,that

is,hisfacultyofclearvisiononspecialsalientand

picturesque,evensalaciousandperversecases,ratherthanupon

thetypesoftheaverageworldwithwhichaveragemenare

familiar.ThustherecanbenodoubtthatLesage’sunconcernfor

positiveedification,hisindifferencetomattersofconscience,

wasatraitoftheeighteenthcentury,andatraitforwhichhe

maytoacertainextentbeheldresponsible.Itwasinevitable

thatheshouldfindimitators,andthat,inthissense,hemaybe

saidtoopenthewaytoaCr�billonfilsandaLaclos,eventoa

Louvet,forwhomhewouldhaverefusedtoberesponsible,andto

prepareaneighteenthcenturywithwhichthereiseveryreasonto

supposehewouldhavebecomeutterlyoutofsympathy,notmerely

asaman,butasanartistinletters.

IV

ItremainstoconsiderGilBlasasaworkofliteraryart.In

styleitisoneofthemostperfectexamplesofnarrativeprose

intheworld,comparableforlimpidity,ease,andprecision,with

thatofCervantesinDonQuixote.Withregardtoitscomposition,

itisnoticeablethatthenovelbeginsatthesamepitchofcalm

luciditywhichistocharacteriseittotheend.Thereaderfeels

thatthepromiseoftheauthorinhis“Declaration,”“Ihave

merelyundertakentorepresentlifeasitis,”islikelytobe

kept.Lesagespeakswithauthority.Theartistswhoinspire

confidencewiththeirveryfirststrokearenotnumerous.They

belongtothearistocracyofthemasters.Whatdosuchcertainty

anddistinctionimply?Theymeanthattheproductisthefruitof

amatureintelligence;thattheartist,behesculptor,writer,

orpainter,hasnotundertakentoexpressuntilhismindis,as

wesay,thoroughlymadeupastothenatureofitscontent,nor

untilheisserenelymasterofthemeansathisdisposal;that,

inaword,heknowshisbusiness.InthecaseofLesageitis

peculiarlysignificantthat,whenhepublishedthefirstpartof

GilBlasin1715,hewasalreadyforty-sevenyearsofage;that

thesecondpartdidnotappearuntil1724,nineyearslater;and

thathewasalreadyanoldgentlemanwithafamilyofboys,one

ofwhomhadenteredtheChurch,whenheendedhislifework,by

thepublicationofthethirdpart,in1735.GilBlas,inshort,

istheproductofthematurityofoneofthekeenestobservers

thateverlookedoutuponthespectacleofthings.Thebroad

good-humouredgaietyoftheearlierbook,whichvibrateswitha

picaresquelilt,isshadedgraduallydown,inthesecondvolume,

intoafiner,serener,moreintellectualirony.Thischange

betraysthenaturalevolutionintheauthor’sinterestsand

curiositiesduringtheperiodreachingfromhisforty-seventhto

hissixty-seventhyear.Thegaietyofthesixbooksofthefirst

partistobecontrastedwiththesoberer,morereflectivespirit

ofthetaleasitproceeds.Weseemtobesuitingourpacetothe

increasinglygravertemperofamanwhoseknowledgeoflifehas

becomericher,hisinsightkeener,hisheartmoretolerantand

generous.Withthesteadyeliminationofthepicaresqueelement

thenovelbecomesmoreandmoreaninclusivecriticismoflife.

Theauthorseemstobebroodingoverhispageswithatenderer

care,asifheweremoreandmoreconsciousofthesignificance,

themagnificenceeven,ofhistask.

ItisoneoftheresultsofthislonggestationthatGilBlashas

becomeabookofworld-widepopularity.Inthehistoryofletters

ithasbeenaninexhaustiblesourceofenergy.Itinspiredthe

realisticnovel.FromSmollettandMarivauxtoDickensandZola,

andeventoanAnatoleFranceandtoaPioBaroja,Lesagehas

beentheavowedorunavowedmodelofthosewriterswhohavebeen

passionatelyenamouredoflife,andirrepressiblycompelledto

expressit.TheinfluenceofLesageontheauthor,forinstance,

ofLeRougeetleNoirandofLaChartreusedeParme—perhaps

particularlyontheStendhaloftheChartreusedeParme—seems

incontestable.InAugust1804,Beyle,writingtohissister

Pauline,recommendshertoreadGilBlasinordertolearnto

knowtheworld,andcitesthefamousanecdoteoftheArchbishop

ofGranada’ssermons.InApril1805,hepromisestobringherthe

book.Inanotherundatedlettertohissister,Beylewrites:“the

mostaccuratepictureofhumannatureasitis,intheFranceof

theeighteenthcentury,isstillthebookofLesage,GilBlas.

Meditatewellthisexcellentwork.”Andfinally,inhisJournal,

underthedateof“10Flor�al,anxiii,1805,”Beylenoteshis

intentiontocurehimselfofromanticism,andtolearntojudge

menastheyare,byre-readingacertainnumberofbooks,among

whichhementionsBeaumarchais,thetalesandLaPucelleof

Voltaire,Chamfort,andGilBlas.Thatistosay,atthemost

impressionableperiodofhisintellectuallifeBeylereadandre-readGilBlas;afactwhichadiscerningcriticmighteasily

guess,astothetruthofwhich,indeed,suchacriticwouldfeel

anabsoluteconviction,andwhichthedocumentscitedappearto

leavebeyondadoubtItwouldperhapsbeanexaggerationto

pretendthatbutforGilBlas,Beylewouldnothavebeen

Stendhal;butImaybepermittedtoquotethefollowingpassage

fromaprivateletterofM.PaulArbelet,theeditorof

Stendhal’sJournald’Italie.

“Votrehypoth�semeparaittr�ss�duisante.Ilyasansaucun

doutequelqueparent�intellectuelleentreLesageetStendhal,

tousdeuxcurieuxd’observationmorale,tousdeuxjugessans

illusionsdesfaiblesseshumaines,maispointmisanthropes,car

ilss’indignentpeudesvicesoudesridicules,quilesamusent

plut�toulesint�ressent.D’ailleursl’unetl’autremanquent

d’imaginationetdepo�sie.Jecomprendsdonctr�sbienquevous

ayezeul’id�ed’uneinfluencedeLesagesurStendhal.”

Furthermore,whileLesageisallthis,thefountain-headofa

greatliterarycurrent,heisatthesametime,asamoralist,in

thesanestLatinandFrenchtradition,thatwhichismarked,in

successiveepochs,bytheserenetemperofaHorace,bythegay

science,thepantagruelismofaRabelais,bytheironyofa

Beaumarchais,who“seh�taderiredetout,depeurd’�treoblig�

d’enpleurer,”andfinallybythetranquilmansuetudeofaRenan:

observers,oneandall,who,afterhavingtoldthetowersofall

thecitadelsofscience,becameamusedlyawarethattheonly

reallyabsolutetruthintheworldisthatallthingsare

relative.

HISTORYOFGILBLASOFSANTILLANE.

BOOKTHEFIRST.

CH.I.—ThebirthandeducationofGilBlas.

MYfather,BlasofSantillane,afterhavingbornearmsforalong

timeintheSpanishservice,retiredtohisnativeplace.There

hemarriedachambermaidwhowasnotexactlyinherteens,andI

mademydebutonthisstagetenmonthsaftermarriage.They

afterwardswenttoliveatOviedo,wheremymothergotinto

service,andmyfatherobtainedasituationequallyadaptedto

hiscapacitiesasasquire.Astheirwagesweretheirfortune,I

mighthavegotmyeducationasIcould,haditnotbeenforan

uncleofmineinthetown,acanon,bynameGilPerez.Hewasmy

mother’seldestbrother,andmygodfather.Figuretoyourselfa

littlefellow,threefeetandahalfhigh,asfatasyoucan

conceive,withaheadsunkdeepbetweenhisshoulders,andyou

havemyuncletothelife.Fortherestofhisqualities,hewas

anecclesiastic,andofcoursethoughtofnothingbutgood

living,Imeaninthefleshaswellasinthespirit,withthe

meansofwhichgoodlivinghisstall,noleanone,providedhim.

Hetookmehometohisownhousefrommyinfancy,andranthe

riskofmybringingup.Istruckhimassobriskalad,thathe

resolvedtocultivatemytalents.Heboughtmeaprimer,and

undertookmytuitionasfarasreadingwent:whichwasnotamiss

forhimselfaswellasforme;sincebyteachingmemylettershe

brusheduphisownlearning,whichhadnotbeenpursuedinavery

scholasticmanner;and,bydintofapplication,hegotatlastto

readhisbreviaryoutofhand,whichhehadneverbeenabletodo

before.HewouldhavebeenverygladtohavetaughtmeLatin,to

saveexpense,but,alas!poorGilPerez!hehadneverskimmedthe

firstprinciplesofitinthewholecourseofhislife.Ishould

notwonderifhewasthemostignorantmemberofthechapter,

thoughonasubjectinvolvingasmanypossibilitiesastherewere

canons,Ipresumenottopledgemyselfforanythinglike

certainty.Tobesure,Ihavehearditsuggested,thathedidnot

gainhisprefermentaltogetherbyhislearning:butthatheowed

itexclusivelytothegratitudeofsomegoodnunswhosediscreet

factorhehadbeen,andwhohadcreditenoughtoprocurehimthe

orderofpriesthoodwithoutthetroublesomeceremonyofan

examination.

Hewasobligedthereforetoplacemeunderthecorrectionofa

master,sothatIwassenttoDoctorGodinez,whohadthe

reputationofbeingthemostaccomplishedpedantofOviedo.I

profitedsowellunderhisinstructions,thatbytheendoffive

orsixyearsIcouldreadaGreekauthorortwo,andhadnovery

inadequateconceptionoftheLatinpoets.Besidesmyclassical

studies,Iappliedtologic,whichenabledmetobecomeanexpert

arguer.Inowfellinlovewithdiscussionsofallkindstosuch

anexcess,thatIstoppedhisMajesty’ssubjectsonthehigh

road,acquaintanceorstrangers,nomatter!andproposedsome

knottypointofcontroversy.SometimesIfellinwithaclanof

Irish,andanaltercationnevercomesamisstothem!Thatwas

yourtime,ifyouarefondofabattle.Suchgestures!such

grimaces!suchcontortions!Oureyessparkling,andourmouths

foaming!Thosewhodidnottakeusforwhatweaffectedtobe,

philosophers,musthavesetusdownformadmen.

Butletthatbeasitwill,Igainedthereputationofnosmall

learninginthetown.Myunclewasdelighted,becausehe

prudentlyconsideredthatIshouldsomuchthesoonerceasetobe

chargeabletohim.Comehere,GilBlas,quothheoneday,youare

gottobeafinefellow.Youarepastseventeen,and.aclever

lad;youmustbestiryourself,andgetforwardintheworld.I

thinkofsendingyoutotheuniversityofSalamanca:withyour

wityouwilleasilygetagoodpost.Iwillgiveyouafewducats

foryourjourney,andmymule,whichwillfetchtenortwelve

pistolesatSalamanca,andwithsuchasumatsettingout,you

willbeenabledtoholdupyourheadtillyougetasituation.

Hecouldnothaveproposedtomeanythingmoreagreeable:forI

wasdyingtoseealittleoflife.Atthesametime,Iwasnot

suchafoolastobetraymysatisfaction;andwhenitcametothe

hourofparting,bythesensibilityIdiscoveredattakingleave

ofmydearuncle,towhomIwassomuchobliged,andbycalling

inthestageeffectofgrief,Isosoftenedthegoodsoul,that

heputhishanddeeperintohispocketthanhewouldhavedone,

couldhehavepriedintoallthatwaspassingintheinteriorof

myhypocriticallittleheart.BeforemydepartureItookalast

leaveofmypapaandmamma,wholoadedmewithanample

inheritanceofgoodadvice.TheyenjoinedmetopraytoGodfor

myuncle,togohonestlythroughtheworld,nottoengageinany

ill,andaboveall,nottolaymyhandsonotherpeople’s

property.Aftertheyhadlecturedmeforagoodwhile,theymade

meapresentoftheirblessingwhichwasallmypatrimonyandall

myexpectation.AssoonasIhadreceivedit,Imountedmymule,

andsawtheoutsideofthetown.

CH.II—GilBlas’alarmonhisroadtoPegnaflor;his

adventuresonhisarrivalinthattown;andthecharacterofthe

menwithwhomhesupped.

HEREIam,then,ontheothersideofOviedo,intheroadto

Pegnaflor,withtheworldbeforeme,asyetmyownmaster,as

wellmasterofabadmuleandfortygoodducats,without

reckoningonalittlesupplementarycashpurloinedfrommymuch-honoureduncle.ThefirstthingIdidwastoletmymulegoas

thebeastliked,thatistosay,verylazily.Idroppedtherein,

andtakingoutmyducats,begantocountthembackwardsand

forwardsinmyhat.Iwasoutofmywitsforjoy,neverhaving

seensuchasumofmoneybefore,andcouldnothelplookingatit

andsiftingitthroughmyfingers.Ihadcounteditoverabout

thetwentiethtime,whenallatoncemymule,withheadraised,

andearsprickedup,stoodstockstillinthemiddleofthehigh

road.Ithought,tobesure,somethingwasthematter;looked

aboutforacause,andperceivingahatupontheground,witha

rosaryoflargebeads,atthesametimeheardalugubriousvoice

pronouncethesewords:Pray,honouredmaster,havepityonapoor

maimedsoldier!Pleasetothrowafewsmallpiecesintothishat;

youshallberewardedforitintheotherworld.Ilooked

immediatelyonthesidewhencethevoiceproceeded,andsaw,just

byathicket,twentyorthirtypacesfromme,asortofa

soldier,whohadmountedthebarrelofaconfoundedlongcarbine

ontwocrosssticks,andseemedtobetakingaimatme.Ata

sightwhichmademetrembleforthepatrimonyoftheChurch

committedtomycare,Istoppedshort,madesureofmyducats,

andtakingoutalittlesmallchange,asIrodebythehat,

placedtoreceivethecharityofthosequietsubjectswhohadnot

thecouragetorefuseit,droppedinmycontributionindetail,

toconvincethesoldierhownoblyIdealtbyhim.Hewas

satisfiedwithmyliberality,andgavemeablessingforevery

kickIgavemymuleinmyimpatiencetogetoutofhisway;but

theinfernalbeast,withoutpartakingintheslightestdegreeof

myimpatience,wentattheoldsteadypace.Alongcustomof

joggingonfairandsoftlyundermyuncle’sweighthad

obliteratedeveryideaofthatmotioncalledagallop.

Theprospectofmyjourneywasnotmuchimprovedbythis

adventureasaspecimen.IconsideredwithinmyselfthatIhad

yetsomedistancetoSalamanca,andmight,notimprobably,meet

withsomethingworse.Myuncleseemedtohavebeenveryimprudent

nottohaveconsignedmetothecareofamuleteer.That,tobe

sure,waswhatheoughttohavedone;buthisnotionwas,thatby

givingmehismule,myjourneywouldbecheaper;andthatentered

moreintohiscalculationthanthedangersinwhichImightbe

involvedontheroad.Toretrievehiserror,therefore,I

resolved,ifIhadthegoodlucktoarrivesafeatPegnaflor,to

offermymuleforsale,andtaketheopportunityofamuleteer

goingtoAstorga,whenceImightgettoSalamancabyasimilar

conveyance.ThoughIhadneverbeenoutofOviedoIwas

acquaintedwiththenamesofthetownsthroughwhichIwasto

pass;aspeciesofinformationItookcaretoprocurebeforemy

settingout.

IgotsafeandsoundtoPegnaflor,andstoppedatthedoorofa

verydecentlookinginn.Myfootwasscarcelyoutofthestirrup

beforethelandlordwasatmyside,overwhelmingmewithpublic-housecivility.Heuntiedmycloakbagwithhisownhands,swung

itacrosshisshoulders,andusheredmyHonourintoaroom,while

oneofhismenledmymuletothestable.Thislandlord,themost

busyprattleroftheAsturias,readytobotheryouimpertinently

abouthisownconcerns,and,atthesametime,withasufficient

portionofcuriositytowormhimselfintotheknowledgeofyours,

wasnotlongintellingmethathisnamewasAndrewCorcuelo;

thathehadseensomeserviceasasergeantinthearmy,whichhe

hadquittedfifteenmonthsago,andmarriedagirlofCastropol,

who,thoughalittletawnyorso,knewhowtomakebothendsmeet

aswellasthebestofthem.Hetoldmeathousandthingsbesides

whichhemightjustaswellhavekeptprivate.Thinkinghimself

entitled,afterthisvoluntaryconfidence,toanequalshareof

mine,heaskedmeinabreath,andwithoutfurtherpreface,

whenceIcame,whitherIwasgoing,andwhoIwas.ToallthisI

feltmyselfboundtoanswer,articlebyarticle,because,though

ratherabruptinaskingthem,heaccompaniedeachquestionwith

soapologeticabow,beseechingmewithsosubmissiveagrimace

nottobeoffendedathiscuriosity,thatIwasdrawninto

gratifyitwhetherIwouldorno.Thusbydegreesdidwegetinto

alongconversation,inthecourseofwhichItookoccasionto

hintthatIhadsomereasonsforwishingtogetridofmymule,

andtravelunderconvoyofamuleteer.Heseemedonthewholeto

approveofmyplan,thoughhecouldnotprevailwithhimselfto

tellmesobriefly;forheintroducedhisremarksbydescanting

onallthepossibleandprobablemischancestowhichtravellers

areliableontheroad,notomittinganawkwardstorynowand

then.Ithoughtthefellowwouldneverhavedone.Butthe

conclusionoftheargumentwas,thatifIwantedtosellmymule,

heknewanhonestjockeywhowouldtakeitoffmyhands.Ibegged

hewoulddomethefavourtofetchhim,whichwasnosoonersaid

thandone.

Onhisreturnheintroducedthepurchaser,withahighencomium

onhisintegrity.Weallthreewentintotheyard,andthemule

wasbroughtouttoshowpacesbeforethejockey,whosethimself

toexaminethebeastfromheadtofoot.Hisreportwasbad

enough.Tobesure,itwouldnothavebeeneasytomakeagood

one;butifithadbeenthepope’smule,andthisfellowwasto

cheapenthebargain,itwouldhavebeenjustthesame:nay,to

speakwithallduereverence,ifhehadbeenaskedtogivean

opinionofthepope’sgreattoe,fromthatdisparaginghabitof

his,hewouldhavepronounceditnobetterthanthetoeofany

ordinaryman.Helaiditdown,therefore,asaprinciple,that

themulehadallthedefectsamulecouldhave:appealingtothe

landlordforaconfirmationofhisjudgment,who,doubtless,had

reasonsofhisownfornotcontrovertinghisfriend’sassertion.

Well!saysthejockey,withanairofindifference,Whatprice

haveyoutheconsciencetoaskforthisdevilofananimal?After

suchapanegyric,andmasterCorcuelo’scertificate,whomIwas

foolenoughtotakeforafair-dealingmanandagoodjudgeof

horse-flesh,theymighthavehadthemulefornothing.I

thereforetoldthedealerthatIthrewmyselfonhismercy:he

mustfixhisownsum,andIshouldexpectnomore.Onthishe

begantoaffectthegentleman,andansweredthatIhadfoundout

hisweaksidewhenIleftittohishonour.Hewasrightenough

inthat!hishonourwashisweakside!forinsteadofbiddingup

tomyuncle’sestimateoftenortwelvepistoles,therascalhad

theimpudencetoofferthreeducats,whichIacceptedwithas

lightaheartasifIhadgotthebestofthebargain.

Havingdisencumberedmyselfofmymuleinsotradesmanlikea

manner,Iwentwithmylandlordtoacarrierwhowastosetout

earlythenextmorningforAstorga,andengagedtocallmeupin

time.Whenwehadsettledthehireofthemule,aswellasthe

expensesontheroad,Iturnedbacktowardstheinnwith

Corcuelo,who,aswewentalong,gotintotheprivatehistoryof

thismuleteer.WhenIhadbeenpesteredwithallthetittle-tattleofthetownaboutthisfellow,thechangeswerejust

beginningtoringonsomenewsubject;but,bygoodluck,a

pretty-lookingsortofamanverycivillyinterruptedmy

loquaciousfriend.Ileftthemtogether,andsaunteredonwithout

theslightestsuspicionofbeingatallconcernedintheir

discourse.

IorderedsupperassoonasIgottotheinn.Itwasafishday:

butIthoughteggswerebettersuitedtomyfinances.Whilethey

weregettingreadyIjoinedinconversationwiththelandlady,

whomIhadnotseenbefore.Sheseemedaprettypieceofgoods

enough,andsuchastirringbody,thatIshouldhaveconcluded,

ifherhusbandhadnottoldmeso,hertavernmusthaveplentyof

custom.ThemomenttheomeletwasservedupIsatdowntotable

bymyself,andhadscarcelygottherelishofit,whenmy

landlordwalkedin,followedbythemanwhohadstoppedhimin

thestreet.Thispleasantgentlemanworealongrapier,and

might,perhaps,beaboutthirtyyearsofage.Hecameuptomein

themostfriendlymannerpossible.MrProfessor,sayshe,Ihave

justnowheardthatyouaretherenownedGilBlasofSantillane,

thatornamentofOviedoandluminaryofphilosophy.Anddomy

eyesbeholdthatverygreatestofallgreatscholarsandwits,

whosereputationhasrunhithersofastbeforehim?Littledoyou

think,continueshe,directinghisdiscoursetothelandlordand

landlady,littledoyouimagine,Isay,whatgoodluckhas

befallenyou.Why,youhavegotholdofatreasure.Inthisyoung

gentlemanyoubeholdtheeighthwonderoftheworld.Thenrunning

upandthrowinghisarmsaboutmyneck,Excuseme,addedhe;but

worldswouldnotbribemetosuppresstherapturousemotionsyour

honouredpresencehasexcited.

IcouldnotanswerhimsogliblyasIwished,notsomuchfor

wantofwordsasofbreath;forhehuggedmesotightthatI

begantobealarmedformywindpipe.Assoon,however,asIhad

gotmyheadoutofdurance,Ireplied,Signorcavalier,Ihadnot

theleastconceptionthatmynamewasknownatPegnaflor.Known?

resumedheinthesamepompousstyle;wekeeparegisterofall

greatpersonswithinacircuitoftwentyleaguesroundus.You

havethecharacterofaprodigyhere;andIhavenotashadowof

doubt,butonedayorotherSpainwillbeasproudofnumbering

youamongherrareproductions,asGreeceofhavinggivenbirth

tohersevenwisemen.Thisfinespeechwasfollowedasbefore;

andIreallybegantothinkthatwithallmyclassicalhonoursI

shouldatlastbedoomedtosharethefateofAntaeus.IfIhad

beenmasterofeversolittleexperience,Ishouldnothavebeen

thedupeofhisrhodomontade.Imusthavediscoveredhimbyhis

outrageouscompliments,tobeoneofthoseparasiteswhoswarmin

everytown,andgetintoastranger’scompanyonhisarrival,to

appeasethewolfintheirstomachsathisexpense;butmyyouth

andvanitytemptedmetodrawaquiteoppositeconclusion.My

admirerwasverycleverinmyeyes,andIaskedhimtosupperon

thestrengthofit.Oh!mostwillingly,criedbe:withallmy

heartandsoul.Myfortunatestarpredominates,nowthatIhave

thehonourofbeingincompanywiththeillustriousGilBlasof

Santillane,andIshallcertainlymakethemostofmygood

fortuneaslongasitlasts.Myappetiteisratherdelicate,but

Iwilljustsitdownwithyoubywayofbeingsociable,andifI

canswallowabit!onlyjustnottolooksulky;forwe

philosophersarecarelessofthebody.

Thesewordswerenosooneroutofhismouth,thanmypanegyrist

tookhisseatoppositetome.Acoverwaslaidforhimindue

formandorder.Firsthefellontheomeletwithasmuch

perseveranceasifhehadnottastedfoodforthreewholedays.

BythecomplacencywithwhichheeyeditIwasmorallycertain

thepoorpancakewasatdeath’sdoor.Ithereforeorderedits

heirapparenttosucceed;andthebusinesswasdespatchedwith

suchspeed,thatthesecondmadeitsappearanceonthetable,

justaswe;—no:—Ibegpardon;—justashehadtakenthe

lastlickofitspredecessor.Hepressedforwardthemain

business,however,withadiligenceandactivityproportionedto

theimportanceoftheobjecthehadinview:sothathecontrived

toloadmewithpanegyriconpanegyric,withoutlosingasingle

strokeintheprogressofmastication.Nowallthisgavemeno

slenderconceitofmyprettylittleself.Whenamaneats,he

mustdrink.Thefirsttoastofcoursewasmyhealth.Thesecond,

incommoncivility,wasmyfatherandmother,whosehappinessin

havingsuchanangelofason,hecouldnotsufficientlyenvyor

admire.Allthiswhilehekeptfillingmyglass,andchallenging

metokeeppacewithhim.Itwasimpossibletobebackwardin

doingjusticetosuchexcellenttoastsandsentiments:the

complimentswithwhichtheywereseasoneddidnotcomeamiss;so

thatIgotintosuchaconvivialmood,atobservingoursecond

omelettodisappearnotinsensibly,asjusttoaskthelandlord

ifhecouldnotfindusalittlebitoffish.MasterCorcuelo,

whotoallappearanceplayedbootywiththeparasite,toldmehe

hadanexcellenttrout;butthosewhoeathimmustpayforhim.I

amafraidheismeatforyourmasters.Meatforourmasters!

exclaimsmyveryhumbleservantinanangrytoneofvoice:that

ismorethanyouknow,myfriend.Areyouyettolearnthatthe

bestofyourlarderisnottoogoodfortherenownedGilBlasof

Santillane?Gowherehewill,heisfittotablewithprinces.

Iwasverygladthathetookupthelandlord’slastexpression;

becauseifhehadnot,Ishould.Ifeltmyselfalittlehurtat

it,andsaidtoCorcuelowithsomedegreeofhauteur:Produce

thistroutofyours,andIwilltaketheconsequences.The

landlord,whohadgotjustwhathewanted,sethimselftowork,

andserveditupinhighorder.Atthefirstglanceofthisthird

courseIsawsuchpleasuresparklingintheparasite’seyes,as

provedhimtobeofaverycomplyingtemper;justasreadytodo

akindnessbythefish,asbythosesaideggsofwhichhehad

givensogoodanaccount.Butatlasthewasobligedtolaydown

hisarmsforfearofaccidents;ashismagazinewascrammedto

theverythroat.Havingeatanddrankhisfill,hebethoughthim

ofputtingafinishinghandtothefarce.MasterGilBlas,said

he,asherosefromthetable,Iamtoowellpleasedwithmy

princelyentertainmenttoleaveyouwithoutawordofadvice,of

whichyouseemtostandinmuchneed.Fromthistimeforwardbe

onyourguardagainstextravagantpraise.Donottrustmentill

youknowthem.Youmaymeetwithmanyanotherman,who,likeme,

mayamusehimselfatyourexpense,andperhapscarrythejokea

littlefurther.Butdonotyoubetakeninasecondtime,to

believeyourself;onthewordofsuchfellows,theeighthwonder

oftheworld.Withthisstinginthetailofhisfarewellspeech

heverycoollytookhisleave.

Iwasasmuchalivetosoridiculousacircumstance,asIhave

everbeeninafter-lifetothemostseveremortifications.Idid

notknowhowtoreconcilemyselftotheideaofhavingbeenso

egregiouslytakenin,or,infact,toloweringofmypride.So,

so!quothI,thisrascalhasbeenputtinghistricksupon

travellers,hashe?Thenheonlywantedtopumpmylandlord!or

morelikelytheywerebothinastory.Ah!mypoorGilBlas,thou

hadstbetterhidethysillyhead!Tohavesufferedsuchknavesas

thesetoturntheeintoridicule!Aprettystorytheywillmake

ofthis!ItissuretotravelbacktoOviedo;andwillgiveour

friendsahopefulprospectofthysuccessinlife.Thefamily

willbequitedelightedtothinkwhatablessedharvestalltheir

piousadvicehasproduced.Therewasnooccasiontopreachup

moralstothee;forverilythouhastmoreofthedupethanthe

sharperinthycomposition.Readytotearmyeyesoutorbitemy

fingersofffromspiteandvexation,Ilockedmyselfupinmy

chamberandwenttobed,butnottosleep;ofwhichIhadnotgot

awinkwhenthemuleteercametotellme,thatheonlywaitedfor

metosetoutonhisjourney.IgotupasexpeditiouslyasI

could;andwhileIwasdressingCorcueloputinhisappearance,

withalittlebillinhishand;—aslightmemorandumofthe

trout!—Butpayingthroughthenosewasnottheworstofit;

forIhadthevexationtoperceive,thatwhileIwascounting

overthecost,thishangdogwaschucklingattherecollectionof

thenightbefore.Havingbeenfleecedmostshamefullyfora

supper,whichstuckinmystomachthoughIhadscarcelycomein

foramorselofit,Ijoinedthemuleteerwithmybaggage,giving

toasmanydevilsastherearesaintsinthecalendar,the

parasite,thelandlord,andtheinn.

CH.III.—Themuleteer’stemptationontheroad;its

consequences,andthesituationofGilBlasbetweenScyllaand

Charybdis.

IWASnottheonlypassenger.Thereweretwoyounggentlemenof

Pegnaflor;alittlechoristerofMondognedo,whowastravelling

aboutthecountry,andayoungtradesmanofAstorga,returning

homefromVercowithhisnew-marriedwife.Wesoongot

acquainted,andexchangedtheusualconfidenceoftravellers,

tellingoneanotherwhencewecameandwhitherweweregoing.The

bridewasyoungenough;butsodark-complexioned,withsolittle

ofwhatamanlikestolookatinawoman,thatIdidnotthink

herworththetrouble.Butshehadyouthandagoodcrummyperson

onherside,andthemuleteer,beingratherlessniceinhis

taste,wasresolvedtotryifhecouldnotgetintohergood

graces.Thisprettyprojectoccupiedhisingenuityduringthe

wholeday;buthedeferredtheexecutiontillweshouldgetto

Cacabelos,thelastplacewhereweweretostopontheroad.We

alightedataninnintheoutskirtsofthetown,aquiet

convenientplace,withalandlordwhonevertroubledhimself

aboutotherpeople’sconcerns.Wewereusheredintoaprivate

room,andgotoursuppersnugly:butjustastheclothwastaken

awayincomesourcarrierinafuriouspassion:—Deathandthe

devil!Ihavebeenrobbed.HerehadIahundredpistolesinmy

purse!ButIwillhavethembackagain.Iamgoingfora

magistrate;andthosegentrywillnottakeajokeuponsuch

serioussubjects.Youwillallbeputtotherack,unlessyou

confess,andgivebackthemoney.Thefellowplayedhispartvery

naturally,andburstoutoftheroom,leavingusinaterrible

fright.

Wehadnoneofustheleastsuspicionofthetrick,andbeingall

strangers,wereafraidofoneanother.Ilookedaskanceatthe

littlechorister,andhe,perhaps,hadnobetteropinionofme.

Besides,wewereallapackofgreenhorns,andwerequite

unacquaintedwiththeroutineofbusinessontheseoccasions.We

werefoolsenoughtobelievethatthetorturewouldbethevery

firststageofourexamination.Withthisdreaduponourspirits,

weallmadeforthedoor.Someeffectedtheirescapeintothe

street,othersintothegarden:butthewholepartypreferredthe

discretionofrunningawaytothevalourofstandingtheir

ground.TheyoungtradesmanofAstorgahadasgreatanobjection

tobone-twistingastherestofus:sohedidasEneas,andmany

anothergoodhusbandhasdonebeforehim;—ranawayandleft

hiswifebehind.Atthatcriticalmomentthemuleteer,asIwas

toldafterwards,whohadnothalfsomuchsenseofdecencyashis

ownmules,delightedatthesuccessofhisstratagem,began

movinghismotivestothecitizen’swife:butthisLucreceofthe

Asturias,borrowingthechastityofasaintfromtheuglinessof

thedevilwhotemptedher,defendedhersweetpersontoothand

nail;andshowedshewasinearnestaboutitbythenoiseshe

made.Thepatrol,whohappenedtobepassingbytheinnatthe

time,andknewthattheneighbourhoodrequiredalittlelooking

after,tookthelibertyofjustaskingthecauseofthe

disturbance.Thelandlord,whowastryingifhecouldnotsingin

thekitchenlouderthanshecouldscreamintheparlour,and

sworeheheardnomusicbuthisown,wasatlastobligedto

introducethemyrmidonsofthepolicetothedistressedlady,

justintimetorescueherfromthenecessityofasurrenderat

discretion.Theheadofficer,acoarsefellow,withoutanatomof

feelingforthetenderpassion,nosoonersawthegamethatwas

playing,thanhegavetheamorousmuleteerfiveorsixblowswith

thebuttendofhishalberd,representingtohimtheindecencyof

hisconductintermsquiteasoffensivetomodestyasthenaughty

propensitywhichhadcalledforthhisvirtuousindignation.

Neitherdidhestophere;butlaidholdoftheculprit,and

carriedplaintiffanddefendantbeforethemagistrate.The

former,withhercharmsallheightenedbythediscomposureofher

dress,wenteagerlytotrytheireffectinobtainingjusticefor

theoutragetheyhadsustained.HisWorshipheardatleastone

party;andaftersolemndeliberationpronouncedtheoffencetobe

ofamostheinousnature.Heorderedhimtobestripped,andto

receiveacompetentnumberoflashesinhispresence.The

conclusionofthesentencewas,thatiftheEndymionofour

AsturianDianawasnotforthcomingthenextday,acoupleof

guardsshouldescortthedisconsolategoddesstothetownof

Astorga,attheexpenseofthismule-drivingActeon.

Formypart,beingprobablymoreterrifiedthantherestofthe

party,Igotintothefields,scamperingoverhedgeandditch,

throughenclosuresandacrosscommons,tillIfoundmyselfhard

byaforest.Iwasjustgoingforconcealmenttoensconcemyself

intheveryheartofthethicket,whentwomenonhorsebackrode

acrossme,crying,Whogoesthere?Asmyalarmpreventedmefrom

givingthemanimmediateanswer,theycametoclosequarters,and

holdingeachofthemapistoltomythroat,requiredmetogive

anaccountofmyself;whoIwas,whenceIcame,whatbusinessI

hadinthatforest,andaboveall,nottotellalieaboutit.

Theirroughinterrogativeswere,accordingtomynotion,little

betterthantherackwithwhichourfriendthemuleteerhad

offeredtotreatus.Irepresentedmyselfhoweverasayoungman

onmywayfromOviedotoSalamanca;toldthestoryofourlate

fright,andfaithfullyattributedmyrunningawayinsuchahurry

tothedreadofaworseexerciseunderthetorture.Theyburst

intoanimmoderatefitoflaughteratmysimplicity;andoneof

themsaid:Takeheart,mylittlefriend;comealongwithus,and

donotbeafraid;wewillputyouinaplacewherethedevil

shallnotfindyou.Atthesewords,hetookmeupbehindhim,and

wedartedintotheforest.

Ididnotknowwhattothinkofthisoddmeeting;yetonthe

wholeIcouldnotwellbeworseoffthanbefore.Ifthesegentry,

thoughtItomyself,hadbeenthieves,theywouldhaverobbed,

andperhapsmurderedme.Dependonit,theyareacoupleofgood

honestcountrygentlemeninthisneighbourhood,who,seeingme

frightened,havetakencompassiononme,andmeantocarryme

homewiththemandmakemecomfortable.Butthesevisionsdidnot

lastlong.Afterturningandwindingbackwardandforwardindeep

silence,wefoundourselvesatthefootofahill,wherewe

dismounted.Thisisourabode,saidoneofthesesequestered

gentlemen.Ilookedaboutinalldirections,butthedeuceabit

ofeitherhouseorcottage:notavestigeofhumanhabitation!

Thetwomeninthemeantimeraisedagreatwoodentrap,covered

withearthandbriars,toconcealtheentranceofalongshelving

passageunder-ground,towhichfromhabitsthepoorbeaststook

verykindlyoftheirownaccord.Theirmasterskepttightholdof

me,andletthetrapdownafterthem.Thuswastheworthynephew

ofmyunclePerezcaught,justforalltheworldasyouwould

catcharat.

CH.IV.—Descriptionofthesubterraneousdwellingandits

contents.

INOWknewintowhatcompanyIhadfallen;andIleaveittoany

onetojudgewhetherthediscoverymustnothaveridmeofmy

formerfear.Adreadmoremightyandmorejustnowseizedmy

faculties.Moneyandlife,allgivenupforlost!Withtheairof

avictimonhispassagetothealtardidIwalk,moredeadthan

alive,betweenmytwoconductors,whofindingthatItrembled,

frightenedmesomuchthemorebytellingmenottobeafraid.

Whenwehadgonetwohundredpaces,windingdownadeclivityall

theway,wegotintoastablelightedbytwolargeironlamps

suspendedfromthevaultabove.Therewasagoodstoreofstraw,

andseveralcasksofhayandcornwithroomenoughfortwenty

horses:butatthattimetherewereonlythetwowhichcamewith

us.AnoldNegro,whoseemedforhisyearsinprettygoodcase,

wastyingthemtotherackwheretheyweretofeed.

Wewentoutofthestable.Bythemelancholylightofsomeother

lamps,whichonlyservedtodressuphorrorinitsnative

colours,wearrivedatakitchenwhereanoldharridanwas

broilingsomesteaksonthecoals,andgettingsupperready.The

kitchenfurniturewasbetterthanmightbeexpected,andthe

pantryprovidedinaveryplentifulmanner.Theladyofthe

larder’spictureisworthdrawing.Considerablyonthewrongside

ofsixty!—Inheryouthherhairhadbeenofafieryred;

thoughshewouldhavecalleditauburn.Timehadindeedgivenit

thefairertintofgrey;butalockofmoreyouthfulhue,

interspersedatintervals,producedallthevariegatedeffectof

theadmiredautumnalshades.Tosaynothingofanolive

complexion,shehadanenormouschinturningup,animmensenose

turningdown,withamouthinthemiddle,modestlyretiring

inwards,tomakeroomforitsencroachingneighbours.Redeyes

arenobeautyinanyanimalbutaferret;—herswerepurple.

Here,dameLeonard,saidoneofthehorsemenashepresentedme

tothisangelicimpofdarkness,wehavebroughtyouayounglad.

Thenlookinground,andobservingmetobemiserablypale,Pluck

upyourspirits,myfriend;youshallcometonoharm.Wewanta

scullion,andhavemetwithyou.Youarealuckydog!Wehada

boywhodiedaboutafortnightago:youshallsucceedtothe

preferment.Hewasrathertoodelicateforhisplace.Youseema

goodstoutfellow,andmayliveaweekortwolonger.Wefindyou

inbedandboard,coalandcandle;butasfordaylight,youwill

neverseethatagain.Yourleisurehourswillpassoffvery

agreeablywithLeonard,whoisreallyaverygoodcreature,and

tolerablytender-hearted;youwillhaveallyourlittlecomforts

aboutyou.Iflattermyselfyouhavenotgotamongbeggars.At

thismomentthethiefseizedaflambeau;andasIfeared,“with

zealtodestroy;”forheorderedmetofollowhim.

Hetookmeintoacellar,whereIsawagreatnumberofbottles

andearthenpotsfullofexcellentwine.Hethenmademecross

severalrooms.Insomewerepiecesofclothpiledup;inothers,

stuffsandsilks.AswepassedthroughIcouldnothelpcastinga

sheep’seyeatthegoldandsilverplatepeepingoutofthe

differentcupboards.Afterthat,Ifollowedhimintoagreathall

illuminatedbythreecopperlustres,andservingasagallery

betweentheotherrooms.Hereheputfreshquestionstome;

askingmyname;—whyIleftOviedo;—andwhenIhad

satisfiedhiscuriosity:Well,GilBlas,saidhe,sinceyouronly

motiveforquittingyournativeplacewastogetintosomething

snugandeligible,tobesureyoumusthavebeenborntogood

luck,oryouwouldnothavefallenintoourhands.Itellyou

onceforall,youwilllivehereonthefatoftheland,andmay

souseoverheadandearsinreadymoney.Besides,youareina

placeofperfectsafety.Theofficersoftheholybrotherhood

mightpassthroughtheforestahundredtimeswithoutdiscovering

oursubterraneousabode.Theentranceisonlyknowntomyselfand

mycomrades.Youmayperhapsaskhowitcametobecontrived,

withoutbeingperceivedbytheinhabitantsintheneighbourhood.

Butyouaretounderstand,myfriend,thatitwasmadelongago,

andisnoworkofours.AftertheMoorshadmadethemselves

mastersofGranada,ofArragon,andnearlythewholeofSpain,

theChristians,ratherthansubmittothetyrannyofinfidels,

betookthemselvestoflight,andlayconcealedinthiscountry,

inBiscay,andintheAsturias,whitherthebraveDonPelagiohad

withdrawnhimself.Theylivedinastateofexile,onthe

mountains,orinthewoods,dispersedinlittleknots.Sometook

uptheirresidencesinnaturalcaves,othersinartificial

dwellingsunder-ground,likethiswearein.Inprocessoftime,

whenbytheblessingofProvidencetheyhaddriventheirenemies

outofSpain,theyreturnedtothetowns.Fromthattimeforth

theirretreatshaveservedasarendezvousforthegentlemenof

ourprofession.Itistruethatseveralofthemhavebeen

discoveredanddestroyedbytheholybrotherhood:butthereare

someyetremaining;and,bygreatgoodluck,Ihavetenantedthis

withoutpayinganyrentforitalmostthesefifteenyears:

CaptainRolando,atyourservice!Iamtheleaderoftheband;

andthemanyousawwithmeisoneofmytroopers.

CH.V.—Thearrivalofthebandittiinthesubterraneous

retreat,withanaccountoftheirpleasantconversation.

JUSTasCaptainRolandohadfinishedhisspeechsixnewfaces

madetheirappearanceinthehall;thelieutenantandfive

privatesreturninghomewiththeirbooty.Theywerehaulingin

twogreatbasketsfullofsugar,cinnamon,pepper,figs,almonds,

andraisins.Thelieutenantgaveanaccountoftheirproceedings

tothecaptain,andtoldhimtheyhadtakenthesearticles,as

wellasthesumpter-mule,fromagrocerofBenavento.Anofficial

reporthavingthusbeenmadetotheprime-minister,thegrocer’s

contributionwascarriedtoaccount;andthenextstepwasto

regaleaftertheirlabours.Alargetablewassetoutinthe

hall.Theysentmebacktothekitchen,wheredameLeonardatold

mewhatIhadtodo.Imadethebestofabadbargain,finding

theluckranagainstme;and,swallowingmygrievances,set

myselftowaitonmynoblemasters.

Icleanedmyplate,setoutmysideboard,andbroughtupmywine.

AssoonasIannounceddinnertobeontable,consistingoftwo

goodblackpepperyragoutsforthefirstcourse,thishighand

mightycompanytooktheirseats.Theyfelltoomostvoraciously.

Myplacewastowait;andIhandedabouttheglasseswithso

butler-likeanair,astobenotalittlecomplimentedonmy

dexterity.Thechiefentertainedthemwithashortsketchofmy

story,andpraisedmyparts.ButIhadrecoveredfrommymaniaby

thistime,andcouldlistentomyownpanegyricwiththehumility

ofananchoriteorthecontemptofaphilosopher.Theyallseemed

totakealikingtome,andtothinkIhaddroppedfromthe

cloudsonpurposetobetheircup-bearer.Mypredecessorwasa

fooltome.Sincehisdeath,theillustriousLeonardahadthe

honourofpresentingnectartothesegodsofthelowerregions.

Butshewasnowdegraded,andIhadthefelicityofbeing

installedinheroffice.Thus,oldHebebeingalittletheworse

forwear,youngGanymedetrippedupherheels.

Asubstantialjointofmeataftertheragoutsatlengthblunted

theedgeoftheirappetites.Eatinganddrinkingwenttogether:

sothattheysoongotintoamerrypin,andmadearoaringnoise.

Welldone,mylads!Alltalkersandnolisteners.Onebeginsa

longstory,anothercutsajoke;hereafellowbawls,therea

fellowsings;andtheyallseemtobeatcrosspurposes.Atlast

Rolando,tiredofaconcertinwhichhecouldhardlyhearthe

soundofhisownvoice,letthemknowthathewasmaestrodi

capella,andbroughtthemintobettertune.Gentlemen,saidhe,I

haveaquestiontoput.Insteadofstunningoneanotherwiththis

infernaldin,hadwenotbetterenjoyalittlerational

conversation?Athoughtisjustcomeintomyhead.Sincethe

happydaythatuniteduswehaveneverhadthecuriosityto

inquireintoeachother’spedigrees,orbywhatchainof

circumstanceswewereeachofusledtoembraceourpresentway

oflife.Therewouldbenoharminknowingwhoandwhoare

together.Letusexchangeconfidence:wemayfindsomeamusement

init.Thelieutenantandtherest,liketrueheroesofromance,

acceptedthechallengewiththeutmostcourtesy,andthecaptain

toldthefirststorytothefollowingeffect:—Gentlemen,you

aretoknowthatIamtheonlysonofarichcitizeninMadrid.

Thedayofmybirthwascelebratedinthefamilybyrejoicings

withoutend.Myfather,nochicken,thoughtitaconsiderable

feattohavegotanheir,andmymotherwaskindenoughtosuckle

meherself.Mymaternalgrandfatherwasstillliving:agoodold

man,whodidnottroublehimselfaboutotherpeople’sconcerns,

butsaidhisprayers,andfoughthiscampaignsoverandover

again;forhehadbeeninthearmy.OfcourseIwasidolizedby

thesethreepersons;neveroutoftheirarms.Myearlyyearswere

passedinthemostchildishamusements,forfearofhurtingmy

healthbyapplication.Itwillnotdo,saidmyfather,tohammer

muchlearningintochildrentilltimehasripenedtheir

understanding.Whilehewaitedforthisripening,theseasonwent

by.Icouldneitherreadnorwrite:butImadeupforthatin

otherways.Myfathertaughtmeathousanddifferentgames.I

becameperfectlyacquaintedwithcards,wasnostrangertodice,

andmygrandfathersetmetheexampleofdrawingthelongbow,

whileheentertainedmewithhismilitaryexploits.Hesungthe

samesongsrepeatedlyoneafteranothereveryday;sothatwhen,

aftersayingtenortwelvelinesafterhimforthreemonths

together,Igottobogglethroughthemwithoutmissing,thewhole

familywereinrapturesatmymemory.Neitherwasmywitthought

tobeatalllessextraordinary;forIwassufferedtotalkat

random,andtookcaretoputinmyoarinthemostimpertinent

mannerpossible.Otheprettylittledear!exclaimedmyfather,

asifhehadbeenfascinated.Mymothermadeitupwithkisses,

andmygrandfather’soldeyesoverflowed.Iplayedallsortsof

dirtyandindecenttricksbeforethemwithimpunity;everything

wasexcusableinsofineaboy:anangelcouldnotdowrong.

Goingoninthismanner,Iwasalreadyinmytwelfthyearwithout

everhavingamaster.Itwashightime;butthenhewastoteach

mebyfairmeans:hemightthreaten,butmustnotflogme.This

arrangementdidmebutlittlegood;forsometimesIlaughedwhen

mytutorscolded:atothers,Iranwithtearsinmyeyestomy

motherormygrandfather,andcomplainedthathehadusedmeill.

Thepoordevilgotnothingbydenyingit.Mywordwasalways

takenbeforehis,andhecameoffwiththecharacterofacruel

rascal.OnedayIscratchedmyselfwithmyownnails,andsetup

ahowlasifIhadbeenflogged.Mymotherran,andturnedthe

masteroutofdoors,thoughhevowedandprotestedhehadnever

liftedafingeragainstme.

ThusdidIgetridofallmytutors,tillatlastImetwithone

tomymind.HewasabachelorofAlcala.Thiswasthemasterfor

ayoungmanoffashion.Women,wine,andgaming,werehis

principalamusements.Itwasimpossibletobeinbetterhands.He

hittherightnailonthehead:forheletmedowhatIpleased,

andthusgotintothegoodgracesofthefamily,whoabandonedme

tohisconduct.Theyhadnoreasontorepent.Heperfectedme

betimesintheknowledgeoftheworld.Bydintoftakingmeabout

toallhishaunts,hegavesuchafinishtomyeducation,that

barringliteratureandscience,Ibecameanuniversalscholar.

AssoonashesawthatIcouldgoaloneinthehighroadtoruin

hewenttoqualifyothersforthesamejourney.

DuringmychildhoodIhadlivedathomejustasIliked,anddid

notsufficientlyconsider,thatnowIwasbeginningtobe

responsibleformyownactions.Myfatherandmotherwerea

standingjest.Yettheywerethemselvesthrownintoconvulsions

atmysallies;andthemoreridiculoustheyweremadebythem,

themorewaggishtheythoughtme.InthemeantimeIgotintoall

mannerofscrapeswithsomeyoungfellowsofmyownkidney;and,

asourrelationskeptusrathertooshortofcashforthe

exigenciesofsoloosealife,weeachofusmadefreewith

whateverwecouldlayourhandsoninourownfamilies.Finding

thiswouldnotraisethesupplies,webegantopickpocketsin

thestreetsatnight.Asillluckwouldhaveit,ourexploits

cametotheknowledgeofthepolice.Awarrantwasoutagainst

us;butsomegood-naturedfriend,thinkingitapityweshouldbe

nippedinthebud,gaveusacaution.Wetooktoourheels,and

roseinourvocationtotherankofhighwaymen.Fromthattime

forth,gentlemen,withablessingonmyendeavours,Ihavegone

ontillIamalmostthefatheroftheprofession,inspiteofthe

dangerstowhichitisexposed.

Herethecaptainended,anditcametotheturnofthe

lieutenant.Gentlemen,extremesaresaidtomeet;—andsoit

willappearfromacomparisonofourcommander’seducationand

mine.MyfatherwasabutcheratToledo.Hepassed,withreason,

forthegreatestbruteinthetown,andmymother’ssweet

dispositionwasnotmendedbytheexample.Inmychildhood,they

whippedmeinemulationofoneanother;Icameinforathousand

lashesofaday!Theslightestfaultwasfollowedupbythe

severestpunishment.InvaindidIbegformercywithtearsinmy

eyes,andprotestthatIwassorryforwhatIhaddone.They

neverexcusedme,andninetimesoutoftenfloggedmefor

nothing.WhenIwasundermyfather’slash,mymother,not

thinkinghisarmstoutenough,lentherassistance,insteadof

beggingmeoff.ThefavoursIreceivedattheirhandsgaveme

suchadisgust,thatIquittedtheirhousebeforeIhadcompleted

myfourteenthyear,tooktheArragonroad,andbeggedmywayto

Saragossa.ThereIassociatedwithvagrants,wholedamerrylife

enough.Theytaughtmetocounterfeitblindnessandlameness,to

dressupanartificialwoundineachofmylegs,andtoadopt

manyothermethodsofimposingonthecredulityofthecharitable

andhumane.Inthemorning,likeactorsatrehearsal,wecastour

characters,andsettledthebusinessofthecomedy.Wehadeach

ourexitsandourentrances;tillintheeveningthecurtain

dropped,andweregaledattheexpenseofthedupeswehad

deludedintheday.Wearied,however,withthecompanyofthese

wretches,andwishingtoliveinmoreworshipfulsociety,I

enteredintopartnershipwithagangofsharpers.Thesefellows

taughtmesomegoodtricks:butSaragossasoonbecametoohotto

holdus,afterwehadfallenoutwithalimbofthelaw,whohad

hithertotakenusunderhisprotection.Weeachofusprovided

forourselves,andleftthedeviltotakethehindmost.Formy

part,Ienlistedinabraveandveteranregiment,whichhadseen

abundanceofserviceontheking’shighway:andIfoundmyselfso

comfortableintheirquarters,thatIhadnodesiretochangemy

birth.Sothatyousee,gentlemen,Iwasverymuchobligedtomy

relationsfortheirbadbehaviour;foriftheyhadtreatedmea

littlemorekindly,Imighthavebeenablackguardbutcherat

thismoment,insteadofhavingthehonourtobeyourlieutenant.

Gentlemen,—interruptedahopefulyoungfreebooterwhosat

betweenthecaptainandthelieutenant,—thestorieswehave

justheardareneithersocomplicatednorsocuriousasmine.I

peepedintoexistencebymeansofacountrywomaninthe

neighbourhoodofSeville.Threeweeksaftershehadsetmedown

inthissystem,anursechildwasofferedher.Youareto

understandshewasyetinherprime,comelyinherperson,and

hadagoodbreastofmilk.Theyoungsucklinghadnoblebloodin

him,andwasanonlyson.Mymotheracceptedtheproposalwith

allherheart,andwenttofetchthechild.Itwasentrustedto

hercare.Shehadnosoonerbroughtithome,than,fancyinga

resemblance,sheconceivedtheideaofsubstitutingmeforthe

bratofhighbirth,inthehopeofdrawingahandsomecommission

atsomefuturetimeforthismotherlyofficeinbehalfofher

infant.Myfather,whosemoralswereonalevelwiththoseof

clodhoppersingeneral,lenthimselfverywillinglytothecheat:

sothatwithonlyachangeofcloutsthesonofDonRodrigode

Herrerawaspackedoffinmynametoanothernurse,andmymother

suckledherownandhermaster’schildatonceinmylittle

person.

Theymaysaywhattheywillofinstinctandtheforceofblood!

Thelittlegentleman’sparentswereveryeasilytakenin.They

hadnottheslightestsuspicionofthetrick;andwereeternally

dandlingmetillIwassevenyearsold.Asitwastheirintention

tomakemeafinishedgentleman,theygavememastersofall

kinds;butIhadverylittletastefortheirlessons,andabove

all,Idetestedthesciences.Ihadatanytimeratherplaywith

theservantsorthestableboys,andwasacompletekitchen

genius.Buttossingupforheadsortailswasnotmyruling

passion.BeforeseventeenIhadanitchforgettingdrunk.I

playedthedevilamongthechambermaids;butmyprimefavourite

wasakitchengirl,whohadinfinitemeritinmyeyes.Shewasa

greatbloatedhorse-god-mother,whosegoodcaseandeasymorals

suitedmeexactly.Iboardedherwithsolittlecircumspection

thatDonRodrigotooknoticeofit.Hetookmetotaskpretty

sharply;twittedmewithmylowtaste;and,forfearthepresence

ofmycharmershouldcounteracthissagecounsels,showedthe

goddessofmydevotionstheoutsideofthedoor.

Thisproceedingwasratheroffensive;andIdeterminedtobeeven

withhim.Istolehiswife’sjewels;andravishingmyHelenfrom

alaundressofheracquaintance,wentoffwithherinopenday,

thatthetransactionmightlosenothinginpointofnotoriety.

Butthiswasnotall.Icarriedheramongherrelations,whereI

marriedheraccordingtotheritesofthechurch,asmuchfrom

thepersonalmotiveofmortifyingHerrera,asfromthepatriotic

enthusiasmofencouragingouryoungnobilitytomendthebreed.

Threemonthsaftermarriage,IheardthatDonRodrigohadgone

thewayofallflesh.Theintelligencewasnotlostuponme.I

wasatSevilleinatwinkling,toadministerindueformand

ordertohiseffects;butthetableswereturned.Mymotherhad

paidthedebtofnature,andinherlastagonieshadbeensomuch

offherguardastoconfessthewholeaffairtothecurateofthe

villageandothercompetentwitnesses.DonRodrigo’ssonhad

alreadytakenmyplace,orratherhisown,andhispopularitywas

increasedbythedeficiencyofmine;sothatasthetrumpswere

alloutinthathand,andIhadnoparticularwishforthe

presentmywifewaslikelytomakeme,Ijoinedissuewithsome

desperateblades,withwhomIbeganmytradingventures.

Theyoungcut-pursehavingfinishedhisstory,anothertoldus

thathewasthesonofamerchantatBurgos;that,inhisyouth,

promptedmorebypietythanwit,hehadtakenthereligioushabit

andprofessedinaverystrictorder,andthatafewyears

afterwardshehadapostatized.Inshort,theeightrobberstold

theirtaleoneafteranother,andwhenIhadheardthemall,I

didnotwonderthatthedestinieshadbroughtthemtogether.The

conversationnowtookadifferentturn.Theybroughtseveral

schemesuponthecarpetforthenextcampaign;andafterhaving

laiddowntheirplanofoperations,rosefromtableandwentto

bed.Theylightedtheirnightcandles,andwithdrewtotheir

apartments.IattendedCaptainRolandotohis.WhileIwas

fiddlingabouthimasheundressed:Well!GilBlas,saidhe,you

seehowwelive!Wearealwaysmerry;hatredandenvyhaveno

footinghere;wehavenottheleastdifference,buthangtogether

justlikemonks.Youaresure,mygoodlad,toleadapleasant

lifehere;forIdonotthinkyouarefoolenoughtomakeany

bonesaboutconsortingwithgentlemenoftheroad.Inwhatdoes

oursdifferfrommanyamorereputabletrade?Dependonit,my

friend,allmenlovetwohandsintheirneighbour’spurse,though

onlyoneintheirown.Men’sprinciplesareallalike;theonly

differenceliesinthemodeofcarryingthemintoeffect.

Conquerors,forinstance,makefreewiththeterritoriesoftheir

neighbours.Peopleoffashionborrowanddonotpay.Bankers,

treasurers,brokers,clerks,andtradersofallkinds,wholesale

andretail,giveamplelibertytotheirwantstooverdrawon

theirconsciences.Ishallnotmentionthehangers-onofthelaw;

weallknowhowitgoeswiththem.Atthesametimeitmustbe

allowedthattheyhavemorehumanitythanwehave;forasitis

oftenourvocationtotakeawaythelifeoftheinnocentfor

plunder,itissometimestheirsforfeeandrewardtosavethe

guilty.

CH.VI.—TheattemptofGilBlastoescape,anditssuccess.

AFTERthecaptainofthebandittihadthusapologizedfor

adoptingsuchalineoflife,hewenttobed.Formypart,I

returnedtothehall,whereIclearedthetable,andset

everythingtorights.ThenIwenttothekitchen,whereDomingo,

theoldnegro,anddameLeonardahadbeenexpectingmeatsupper.

Thoughentirelywithoutappetite,Ihadthegoodmannerstosit

downwiththem.NotamorselcouldIeat;and,asIscarcelyfelt

moremiserablethanIlooked,thispairsojustlyformedtomeet

bynature,undertooktogivemealittlecomfort.Whydoyoutake

onso,mygoodlad?saidtheolddowager:yououghtratherto

blessyourstarsforyourgoodluck.Youareyoung,andseema

littlesoft;youwouldhaveafinekettleoffishofitinthe

busyworld.Youmighthavefallenintobadhands,andthenyour

moralswouldhavebeencorrupted;whereashereyourinnocenceis

insuredtoitsfullvalue.DameLeonardaisintheright,putin

theoldnegrogravely,theworldisbutatroublesomeplace.Be

thankful,myfriend,forbeingsoearlyrelievedfromthe

dangers,thedifficulties,andtheafflictionsofthismiserable

life.

Iborethisprosingveryquietly,becauseIshouldhavegotno

goodbyputtingmyselfinapassionaboutit.AtlengthDomingo,

afterplayingagoodknifeandfork,andgettinggloriously

muddled,tookhimselfofftothestable.Leonarda,bythe

glimmeringofalamp,showedmethewaytoavaultwhichserved

asalasthometothoseofthecorpswhodiedanaturaldeath.

HereIstumbleduponsomethingmorelikeagravethanabed.This

isyourroom,saidshe.Yourpredecessorlayhereaslongashe

wasamongus,andhereheliestothisday.Hesufferedhimself

tobehurriedoutoflifeinhisprime:donotyoubesofoolish

astofollowhisexample.Withthiskindadvice,sheleftmewith

thelampformycompanionandreturnedtothekitchen.Ithrew

myselfonthelittlebed,notsomuchforrestasmeditation.O

heaven!exclaimedI,wasthereeverafatesodreadfulasmine?

itisdeterminedthenIamtotakemyleaveofdaylight!Beside

this,asifitwerenotenoughtobeburiedaliveateighteen,my

miseryistobeaggravatedbybeingintheserviceofabanditti;

bypassingthedaywithhighwaymen,andthenightina

charnelhouse.Thesereflections,whichseemedtomeverydismal,

andwereindeednobetterthantheyseemed,setmecryingmost

bitterly.Icouldnotconceivewhatcursedmaggotmyunclehad

gotinhisheadtosendmetoSalamanca;repentedrunningaway

fromCacabelos,andwouldhavecompoundedforthetorture.But,

consideringhowvainitwastoshutthedoorwhenthesteedwas

stolen,Idetermined,insteadoflamentingthepast,tohitupon

someexpedientformakingmyescape.What!thoughtI,isit

impossibletogetoff?Thecut-throatsareasleep;cookyandthe

blackwillbesnoringerelong.WhycannotI,bythehelpofthis

lamp,findthepassagebywhichIdescendedintotheseinfernal

regions?Iamafraid,indeed,mystrengthisnotequaltolifting

thetrapattheentrance.However,letussee.Faintheartnever

wonfairlady.Despairwilllendmenewforce,andwhoknowsbut

Imaysucceed?

Thuswasthetrainlaidforagrandattempt.Igotupassoonas

LeonardaandDomingowerelikelytobeasleep.Withthelampin

myhand,Istoleoutofthevault,puttingupmyprayerstoall

thespiritsinparadise,andtenmilesround.Itwaswithno

smalldifficultythatIthreadedallthewindingsofthisnew

labyrinth.AtlengthIfoundmyselfatthestabledoor,and

perceivedthepassagewhichwastheobjectofmysearch.Pushing

onImademywaytowardsthetrapwithalightpairofheelsand

abeatingheart:but,alas!inthemiddleofmycareerIran

againstacursedirongratelockedfast,withbarssocloseas

nottoadmitahandbetweenthem.Ilookedratherfoolishatthe

occurrenceofthisnewdifficulty,whichIhadnotbeenawareof

atmyentrance,becausethegratewasthenopen.However,Itried

whatIcoulddobyfumblingatthebars.Thenforapeepatthe

lock;orwhetheritcouldnotbeforced!Whenallatoncemypoor

shouldersweresalutedwithfiveorsixgoodstrokesofabull’s

pizzle.Isetupsuchashrillalarum,thatthedenofCacusrang

withit;whenlookinground,whoshoulditbebuttheoldnegro

inhisshirt,holdingadarklanthorninonehand,andthe

instrumentofmypunishmentintheother.Oh,ho!quothhe,my

merrylittlefellow,youwillrunaway,willyou?No,no!you

mustnotthinktosetyourwitsagainstmine.Iheardyouallthe

while.Youthoughtyoushouldfindthegrateopen,didnotyou?

Youmaytakeitforgranted,myfriend,thathenceforthitwill

alwaysbeshut.Whenwekeepanyonehereagainsthiswill,he

mustbeaclevererfellowthanyoutomakehisescape.

Inthemeantime,atthehowlIhadsetuptwoorthreeofthe

robberswakedsuddenly;andnotknowingbuttheholybrotherhood

mightbefallinguponthem,theygotupandcalledtheir

comrades.Withoutthelossofamomentallwereonthealert.

Swordsandcarabineswereputinrequisition,andthewholeposse

advancedforwardalmostinastateofnaturetotheplacewhereI

wasparleyingwithDomingo.Butassoonastheylearnedthecause

oftheuproar,theiralarmresolveditselfintoapealof

laughter.Hownow,GilBlas,saidtheapostatesonofthechurch,

youhavenotbeenagoodsixhourswithus,andareyoutiredof

ourcompanyalready?Youmusthaveagreatobjectionto

retirement.Why,whatwouldyoudoifyouwereaCarthusian

friar?Getalongwithyou,andgotobed.Thistimeyoushallget

offwithDomingo’sdiscipline;butifyouareevercaughtina

secondattemptofthesamekind,bySaintBartholomew!wewill

flayyoualive.Withthishintheretired,andtherestofthe

partywentbacktotheirrooms.Theoldnegro,takingcreditto

himselfforhisvigilance,returnedtohisstable;andIfoundmy

waybacktomycharnelhouse,whereIpassedtheremainderofthe

nightinweepingandwailing.

CH.VII.—GilBlas,notbeingabletodowhathelikes,does

whathecan.

FORthefirstfewdaysIthoughtIshouldhavegivenuptheghost

forveryspiteandvexation.ThelingeringlifeIledwasnearly

akintodeathitself;butintheendmygoodgeniuswhisperedme

toplaythehypocrite,Iaimedatlookingalittlemorecheerful;

begantolaughandsing,thoughitwassometimesonthewrong

sideofmymouth;inaword,Iputsogoodafaceonthematter,

thatLeonardaandDomingowerecompletelytakenin.Theythought

thebirdwasreconciledtohiscage.Therobbersentertainedthe

samenotion.IlookedasbriskasthebeverageIpouredout,and

putinmyoarwheneverIthoughtIcouldsayagoodthing.My

freedom,farfromoffending,wastakeningoodpart.GilBlas,

quoththecaptainoneevening,whileIwasplayingthebuffoon,

youhavedonewell,myfriend,tobanishmelancholy.Iam

delightedwithyourwitandhumour.Somepeoplewearamaskat

firstacquaintance;Ihadnonotionwhatajovialfellowyou

were.

Mypraisesnowseemedtorunfrommouthtomouth.Theywereall

sopartialtome,that,nottomissmyopportunity;—Gentlemen,

quothI,allowmetotellyouapieceofmymind.SinceIhave

beenyourguest,anewlightbreaksinuponme.Ihavebidadieu

tovulgarprejudices,andcaughtarayatthefountainofyour

illumination.IfeelthatIwasborntobeyourknightcompanion.

Ilanguishtomakeoneamongyou,andwillstandmychanceofa

halterwiththebest.AllthecompanycriedHear!—Iwas

consideredasapromisingmemberofthesenate.Itwasthen

determinedunanimouslytogivemeatrialinsomeinferior

department;afterwardstobespeakmeagooddesperateencounter

inwhichImightshowmyprowess;andifIansweredexpectation

togivemeahighandresponsibleemploymentinthecommonwealth.

Itwasnecessarythereforetogoonexhibitingacopyofmy

countenance,anddoingmybestinmyofficeofcup-bearer.Iwas

impatientbeyondmeasure;forIonlyaspiredafterthehonoursof

thesitting,toobtainthelibertyofgoingabroadwiththerest;

andIwasinhopesthatbyrunningtheriskofgettingmyneck

intoonenooseImightgetitoutofanother.Thiswasmyonly

chance.Thetimeneverthelessseemedlongtowait,andIkeptmy

eyeonDomingo,withthehopeofoutwittinghim:butthething

wasnotfeasible;hewasalwaysonthewatch.Orpheusasleader

oftheband,withacompleteorchestraofperformersasgoodas

himself,couldnothavesoothedthesavagebreastofthis

Cerberus.Thetruthis,bytheby,thatforfearofexcitinghis

suspicion,IdidnotsetmywitsagainsthimsomuchasImight

havedone.Hewasonthelook-out,andIwasobligedtoplaythe

prude,ormyvirtuemighthavecomeintodisgrace.Itherefore

stoppedproceedingstillthetimeofmyprobationshouldexpire,

towhichIlookedforwardwithimpatience,justasifIwas

waitingforaplaceundergovernment.

Heavenbepraised,inaboutsixmonthsIgainedmyend.The

commandantRolandoaddressinghisregiment,said:Comrades,we

muststanduponhonourwithGilBlas.Ihavenobadopinionof

ouryoungcandidate;weshallmakesomethingofhim.Ifyouwill

takemyadvice,lethimgoandreaphisfirstharvestwithusto-morrowontheking’shighway.Wewillleadhimoninthepathof

honour.Therobbersapplaudedthesentimentsofthecaptainwith

athunderofacclamation;andtoshowmehowmuchIwas

consideredasoneofthegang,fromthatmomenttheydispensed

withmyattendanceatthesideboard.DameLeonardawas

reinstatedintheofficefromwhichshehadbeendischargedto

makeroomforme.Theymademechangemydress,whichconsisted

inaplainshortcassockagooddealtheworseforwear,and

trickedmeoutinthespoilsofagentlemanlatelyrobbed.After

thisinauguration,Imademyarrangementsformyfirstcampaign.

CH.VIII.—GilBlasgoesoutwiththegang,andperformsan

exploitonthehighway.

ITwaspastmidnightinthemonthofSeptember,whenIissued

fromthesubterraneousabodeasoneofthefraternity.Iwas

armed,likethem,withacarabine,twopistols,asword,anda

bayonet,andwasmountedonaverygoodhorse,thepropertyof

thegentlemaninwhosecostumeIappeared.Ihadlivedsolong

likeamoleunder-ground,thatthedaybreakcouldnotfailof

dazzlingme:butmyeyesgotreconciledtoitbydegrees.

WepassedclosebyPontferrada,andweredeterminedtoliein

ambushbehindasmallwoodskirtingtheroadtoLeon.Therewe

werewaitingforwhateverfortunemightpleasetothrowinour

way,whenweespiedaDominicanfriar,mounted,contrarytothe

rubricofthosepiousfathers,onashabbymule.Godbepraised,

exclaimedthecaptainwithasneer,thisisanoblebeginningfor

GilBlas.Lethimgoandtrouncethatmonk:wewillbearwitness

tohisqualifications.Theconnoisseurswereallofopinionthat

thiscommissionsuitedmytalentstoahair,andexhortedmeto

domybestGentlemen,quothI,youshallhavenoreasonto

complain.Iwillstripthisholyfathertohisbirthdaysuit,

andgiveyoucompleterightandtitletohismule.No,no,said

Rolando,thebeastwouldnotbeworthitsfodder:onlybringus

ourreverendpastor’spurse;thatisallwerequire.HereuponI

issuedfromthewoodandpusheduptothemanofGod,doing

penanceallthetimeinmyownbreastforthesinIwas

committing.Icouldhavelikedtohaveturnedmybackuponmy

fellowsatthatmoment;butmostofthemhadtheadvantageof

betterhorsesthanmine:hadtheyseenmemakingofftheywould

havebeenatmyheels,andwouldsoonhavecaughtme,orperhaps

wouldhavefiredavolley,forwhichIwasnotsufficientlycase-hardened.Icouldnotthereforeventureonsoperilousan

alternative;sothatclaimingacquaintancewiththereverend

father,Iaskedtolookathispurse,andjustputouttheendof

apistol.Hestoppedshorttogazeuponme;and,withoutseeming

muchfrightened,said,Mychild,youareveryyoung;thisisan

earlyapprenticeshiptoabadtrade.Father,repliedI,badasit

is,IwishIhadbegunitsooner.What!myson,rejoinedthegood

friar,whodidnotunderstandtherealmeaningofwhatIsaid,

howsayyou?Whatblindness!givemeleavetoplacebeforeyour

eyestheunhappycondition.Come,come,father!interruptedI,

withimpatience,atrucetoyourmorality,ifyouplease.My

businessonthehighroadisnottohearsermons.Moneymakesmy

maretogo.Moneysaidhe,withalookofsurprise;youhavea

pooropinionofSpanishcharity,ifyouthinkthatpeopleofmy

stamphaveanyoccasionforsuchtrashupontheirtravels.Letme

undeceiveyou.Wearemadewelcomewhereverwego,andpayfor

ourboardandlodgingsbyourprayers.Inshort,wecarrynocash

withusontheroad;butdrawdraftsuponProvidence.Thatisall

verywell,repliedI;yetforfearyourdraftsshouldbe

dishonoured,youtakecaretokeepaboutyoualittlesupplyfor

presentneed.Butcome,father,letusmakeanend:mycomrades

inthewoodareinahurry;soyourmoneyoryourlife.Atthese

words,whichIpronouncedwithadeterminedair,thefriarbegan

tothinkthebusinessgrewserious.Sinceneedsmust,saidhe,

thereiswherewithaltosatisfyyourcraving.Awordandablow

istheonlyrhetoricwithyougentlemen.Ashesaidthis,bedrew

alargeleathernpursefromunderhisgown,andthrewitonthe

ground.Ithentoldhimhemightmakethebestofhisway:andhe

didnotwaitforasecondbidding,butstuckhisheelsintothe

mule,which,givingthelietomyopinion,forIthoughtitona

parwithmyuncle’s,setoffatagoodroundpace.Whilehewas

ridingforhislife,Idismounted.Thepursewasnoneofthe

lightest.Imountedagain,andgotbacktothewood,wherethose

nice.observerswerewaitingwithimpatiencetocongratulateme

onmysuccess.Icouldhardlygetmyfootoutofthestirrup,so

eagerweretheytoshakehandswithme.Courage,GilBlas,said

Rolando;youhavedonewonders.Ihavehadmyeyesonyouduring

yourwholeperformance,andhavewatchedyourcountenance.Ihave

nohesitationinpredictingthatyouwillbecomeintimeavery

accomplishedhighwayman.Thelieutenantandtherestchimedin

withtheprophecy,andassuredmethatIcouldnotfailof

fulfillingithereafter.Ithankedthemfortheelevatedidea

theyhadformedofmytalents,andpromisedtodoallinmypower

nottodiscredittheirpenetration.

Aftertheyhadlavishedpraises,theeffectratheroftheir

candourthanofmymerit,theytookitintotheirheadsto

examinethebootyIhadbroughtundermyconvoy.Letussee,said

they,letusseehowafriar’spurseislined.Itshouldbefat

andflourishing,continuedoneofthem,forthesegoodfathersdo

notmortifythefleshwhentheytravel.Thecaptainuntiedthe

purse,openedit,andtookouttwoorthreehandfulsoflittle

coppercoins,anAgnus-Deihereandthere,andsomescapularies.

Atsightofsonovelaprize,alltheprivatesburstintoan

immoderatefitoflaughter.Godbepraised!criedthelieutenant,

weareverymuchobligedtoGilBlas:hisfirstattackhas

producedasupply,veryseasonabletoourfraternity.Onejoke

broughtonanother.Theserascals,especiallythefellowwhohad

retiredfromthechurchtooursubterraneoushermitage,beganto

makethemselvesmerryonthesubject.Theysaidathousandgood

things,suchasshowedatoncethesharpnessoftheirwitsand

theprofligacyoftheirmorals.Theywereallonthebroadgrin

exceptmyself.Itwasimpossibletobebuttandmarksmantoo.

Theyeachofthemshottheirboltatme,andthecaptainsaid:

Faith,GilBlas,Iwouldadviseyouasafriendnottosetyour

witasecondtimeagainstthechurch:thebitermaybebit;for

youmustlivesometimelongeramongus,beforeyouareamatch

forthem.

CH.IX.—Amoreseriousincident.

WEloungedaboutthewoodforthegreaterpartoftheday,

withoutlightingonanytravellertopaytollforthefriar.At

lengthwewerebeginningtowearourhomewardway,asif

confiningthefeatsofthedaytothislaughableadventure,which

furnishedaplentifulfundofconversation,whenwegot

intelligenceofacarriageontheroaddrawnbyfourmules.They

werecomingatahardgallop,withthreeoutriders,whoseemedto

bewellarmed.Rolandoorderedthetrooptohalt,andholda

council,theresultofwhosedeliberationswastoattackthe

enemy.Wewereregularlydrawnupinbattle-array,andmarchedto

meetthecaravan.InspiteoftheapplauseIhadgainedinthe

wood,Ifeltanoozingsortoftremourcomeoverme,withachill

inmyveinsandachatteringinmyteeththatseemedtobodeme

nogood.Asitneverrainsbutitpours,Iwasinthefrontof

thebattle,hemmedinbetweenthecaptainandthelieutenant,who

hadgivenmethatpostofhonour,thatImightlosenotimein

learningtostandfire.Rolando,observingthelowebbofmy

animalspirits,lookedaskewatme,andmutteredinatonemore

resolutethancourtly:Harkye!GilBlas,looksharpaboutyou!I

giveyoufairnotice,thatifyouplaytherecreant,Ishall

lodgeacoupleofbulletsinyourbrain.Ibelievedhimasfirmly

asmycatechism,andthoughtithightimenottoneglectthe

hint;sothatIwasobligedtolayanembargoontheexpression

ofmyfears,andtothinkonlyofrecommendingmysoultoGodin

silence.

Whileallthiswasgoingon,thecarriageandhorsemendrewnear.

Theysuspectedwhatsortofgentrywewere;andguessingour

tradebyourbadge,stoppedwithingun-shot.Theyhadcarabines

andpistolsaswellasourselves.Whiletheywerepreparingto

giveusabriskreception,therejumpedoutofthecoachawell-lookinggentlemanrichlydressed.Hemountedaledhorse,andput

himselfattheheadofhisparty.Thoughtheywerebutfour

againstnine,forthecoachmankepthisseatonthebox,they

advancedtowardsuswithaconfidencecalculatedtoredoublemy

terror.YetIdidnotforget,thoughtremblingineveryjoint,to

holdmyselfinreadinessforashot:but,togiveacandid

relationoftheaffair,Iblinkedandlookedtheotherwayin

lettingoffmypiece;sothatfromtheharmlessnessofmyfire,I

wassurenottohavemurdertoanswerforinanotherworld.

Ishallnotgivetheparticularsoftheengagement;though

present,Iwasnoeye-witness;andmyfear,whileitlaidholdof

myimagination,drewaveilovertheanticipatedhorrorofthe

sight.AllIknowaboutthematteris,thatafteragrand

dischargeofmusquetry,IheardmycompanionshallooingVictory!

Victory!asiftheirlungsweremadeofleather.Atthisshout

theterrorwhichhadmadeaforcibleentryonmysenseswas

ejected,andIbeheldthefourhorsemenstretchedlifelesson

thefieldofbattle.Onourside,wehadonlyonemankilled.

Thiswastherenegadeparson,whohadnowfilledthemeasureof

hisapostasy,andpaidforjestingwithscapulariesandsuch

sacredthings.Thelieutenantreceivedaslightwoundinthearm;

butthebulletdidlittlemorethangrazetheskin.

MasterRolandowasthefirstatthecoach-door.Withinwasalady

offromfourtofive-and-twenty,beautifulasanangelinhis

eyes,inspiteofhersadcondition.Shehadfaintedduringthe

conflict,andherswoonstillcontinued.Whilehewasfixedlike

astatueonhercharms,therestofwereinprofoundmeditation

ontheplunder.Webeganbysecuringthehorsesofthedefunct;

fortheseanimals,frightenedatthereportofourpieces,had

gottoalittledistance,afterthelossoftheirriders.Forthe

mules,theyhadnotwaggedahair,thoughthecoachmanhadjumped

fromhisboxduringtheengagementtomakehisescape.We

dismountedforthepurposeofunharnessingandloadingthemwith

sometrunkstiedbeforeandbehindthecarriage.Thissettled,

thecaptainorderedthelady,whohadnotyetrecoveredher

faculties,tobesetonhorsebackbeforethebestmountedofthe

robbers;then,leavingthecarriageandtheuncasedcarcasesby

theroad-side,wecarriedoffwithusthelady,themules,and

thehorses.

CH.X.—Thelady’streatmentfromtherobbers.Theeventofthe

greatdesign,conceivedbyGilBlas.

THEnighthadanotherhourtorunwhenwearrivedatour

subterraneousmansion.Thefirstthingwedidwastoleadour

cavalrytothestable,wherewewereobligedtogroomthem

ourselves,astheoldnegrohadbeenconfinedtohisbedfor

threedays,withaviolentfitofthegout,andanuniversal

rheumatism.Hehadnomembersupplebuthistongue;andthathe

employedintestifyinghisindignationbythemosthorrible

impieties.Leavingthiswretchtocurseandswearbyhimself,we

wenttothekitchentolookafterthelady.Sosuccessfulwere

ourattentions,thatwesucceededinrecoveringherfromherfit.

Butwhenshehadoncemoretheuseofhersenses,andsawherself

encompassedbystrangers,sheknewtheextentofhermisfortune,

andshudderedatthethought.Allthatgriefanddespairtogether

couldpresent,ofimagesthemostdistressing,appeareddepicted

inhereyes,whichshelifteduptoheaven,asifinreproachfor

theindignitiesshewasthreatenedwith.Then,givingwayatonce

tothesedreadfulapprehensions,shefellagainintoaswoon,her

eyelidsclosedoncemore,andtherobbersthoughtthatdeathwas

goingtosnatchfromthemtheirprey.Thecaptain,therefore,

judgingitmoretothepurposetoleavehertoherselfthanto

tormentherwithanymoreoftheirassistance,orderedhertobe

laidonLeonarda’sbed,andatalleventstoletnaturetakeits

course.

Wewentintothehall,whereoneoftherobbers,whohadbeen

bredasurgeon,lookedatthelieutenant’sarmandputaplaister

toit.Afterthisscientificoperation,itwasthoughtexpedient

toexaminethebaggage.Someofthetrunkswerefilledwithlaces

andlinen,otherswithvariousarticlesofwearingapparel:but

thelastcontainedsomebagsofcoin;acircumstancehighly

approvedbythereceivers-generaloftheestate.Afterthis

investigation,thecooksetoutthesideboard,laidthecloth,

andservedupsupper.Ourconversationranfirstonthegreat

victorywehadachieved.OnthissubjectsaidRolando,directing

himselftome,Confessthetruth,GilBlas:youcannotdenythat

youweredevilishlyfrightened.Icandidlyadmittedthefact;but

promisedtofightlikeacrusaderaftermysecondorthird

campaign.Hereuponallthecompanytookmypart,allegingthe

sharpnessoftheactioninmyexcuse,andthatitwasverywell

foranovice,notyetaccustomedtothesmellofpowder.

Wenexttalkedofthemulesandhorsesjustaddedtoour

subterraneousstud.Itwasdeterminedtosetoffthenextmorning

beforedaybreak,andsellthematMansilla,beforetherewasany

chanceofourexpeditionhavinggotwind.Thisresolutiontaken,

wefinishedoursupper,andreturnedtothekitchentopayour

respectstothelady.Wefoundherinthesamecondition.

Nevertheless,thoughthedregsoflifeseemedalmostexhausted,

someofthesepoacherscouldnothelpcastingawickedleerat

her,andgivingvisiblesignsofamotionwithinthem,which

wouldhavebrokenoutintoovertact,hadnotRolandoputaspoke

intheirwheelbyrepresentingthattheyoughtatleasttowait

tilltheladyhadgotridofherterrorsandsqueamishness,and

couldcomeinforhershareoftheamusement.Theirrespectfor

thecaptainoperatedasachecktotheincontinenceoftheir

passions.Nothingelsecouldhavesavedthelady;norwoulddeath

itselfprobablyhavesecuredherfromviolation.

Againthereforedidweleavethisunhappyfemaletoher

melancholyfate.RolandocontentedhimselfwithchargingLeonarda

totakecareofher,andweallseparatedforthenight.Formy

part,whenIwenttobed,insteadofcourtingsleep,mythoughts

werewhollytakenupwiththelady’smisfortunes.Ihadnodoubt

ofherbeingawomanofquality,andthoughtherlotonthat

accountsomuchthemorepiteous.Icouldnotpainttomyself,

withoutshuddering,thehorrorswhichawaitedher;andfelt

myselfassensiblyaffectedbythem,asifunitedtoherbythe

tiesofbloodorfriendship.Atlength,afterhavingsufficiently

bewailedherdestiny,Imusedonthemeansofpreservingher

honourfromitspresentdanger,andmyselffromalongerabodein

thisdungeon.Iconsideredthattheoldnegrocouldnotstir,and

recollectedthatsincehisillnessthecookhadthekeyofthe

grate.Thatthoughtwarmedmyfancy,andgavebirthtoaproject

nottobehazardedlightly:thestagesofitsexecutionwerethe

following.

Ipretendedtohavethecolic.Aladinthecoliccannothelp

whiningandgroaning;butIwentfurther,andcriedoutlustily,

asloudasmylungswouldletme.Thisrousedmygentlefriends,

andbroughtthemaboutmetoknowwhatthedeucewasthematter.

IinformedthemthatIhadaswingingfitofthegripes,andto

humourtheidea,gnashedmyteeth,madeallmannerofwryfaces

tillIlookedlikeabedlamite,andtwistedmylimbsasifIhad

beengoingtobedeliveredofaheathenoracle.ThenIbecame

calmallatonce,asifmypainshadabated.ThenextminuteI

flouncedupanddownuponmybed,andthrewmyarmsaboutat

random.Inaword,Iplayedmypartsowellthatthesemore

experiencedperformers,knowingastheywere,sufferedthemselves

tobethrownofftheirguard,andtobelievethatmymaladywas

real.Allatoncedidtheybusythemselvesformyrelief.One

broughtmeabottleofbrandy,andforcedmetogulpdownhalfof

it;another,inspiteofmyremonstrances,appliedoilofsweet

almondsinaveryoffensivemanner:athirdwentandmadea

napkinburninghot,tobeclappeduponmystomach.InvaindidI

crymercy;theyattributedmynoisetotheviolenceofmy

disorder,andwentoninflictingpositiveevilbywayofremedy

forthatwhichwasartificial.Atlast,abletobearitno

longer,IwasobligedtoswearthatIwasbetter,andentreat

themtogivemequarter.Theyleftoffkillingmewithkindness,

andItookcarenottocomplainanymore,forfearof

experiencingtheirtenderattentionsasecondtime.

Thisscenelastednearlythreehours.Afterwhichtherobbers,

calculatingittobeneardaybreak,preparedfortheirjourney

toMansilla.Iwasforgettingup,asifIhadsetmyhearton

beingoftheparty;butthattheywouldnotallow.No,no,Gil

Blas,saidSignorRolando,stayhere,mylad;yourcolicmay

return.Youshallgowithusanothertime;to-dayyouarenotin

travellingcondition.Ididnotthinkitprudenttourgemy

attendancetoomuch,forfearofbeingtakenatmyword;butonly

affectedgreatdisappointmentwithsonaturalanair,thatthey

allwentoffwithouttheslightestmisgivingofmydesign.After

theirdeparture,forwhichIhadprayedmostfervently,Isaidto

myself:Nowisyourtime,GilBlas,tobefirmandresolved.Arm

yourselfwithcouragetogothroughwithanenterpriseso

propitiouslybegun.Domingoistiedbytheleg,andLeonardamay

showherteeth,butshecannotbite.Pouncedownuponopportunity

whileitoffers;youmaywaitlongenoughforanother.ThusdidI

spiritmyselfupinsoliloquy.Havinggotoutofbed,Ilaidhold

ofmyswordandpistols;andawayIwenttothekitchen.But

beforeImademyappearanceIstoppedtohearwhatLeonardawas

talkingabouttothefairincognita,whowascometohersenses,

and,onaviewofhermisfortuneinitsextremity,tookonmost

desperately.Thatisright,mygirl,saidtheoldhag,cryyour

eyesout,sobawayplentifully,youknowthegoodeffectof

woman’stears.Thesuddenshockwastoomuchforyou;butthe

dangerisovernowtheenginescanplay.Yourgriefwillabateby

littleandlittle,andyouwiltgetreconciledtolivingwithour

gentlemen,whoareverygoodsortofpeople.Youwillbebetter

offthanaprincess.Youdonotknowhowfondtheywillbeof

you.Notadaywillpasswithoutyourbeingobligedtosomeof

them.Manyawomanwouldgiveoneofhereyestobeinyour

place.

IdidnotallowLeonardatimetogoonanylongerwiththis

babbling.InIwent,andputtingapistoltoherbreast,insisted

withamenacingaironherdeliveringupthekeyofthegrate.

Shedidnotknowwhattomakeofmybehaviour;and,thoughalmost

inthelaststageoflife,hadsuchapropensitytolingeronthe

roadasnottoventureonarefusal.WiththekeyinmyhandI

directedthefollowingspeechtothedistressedobjectofmy

compassion:Madam,Heavensendsyouadelivererinme;follow,

andIwillseeyousafewhithersoeveryouwishtobeconducted.

Theladywasnotdeaftomyproposal,whichmadesuchan

impressiononhergratefulheartthatshejumpedupwithallthe

strengthshehadleft,threwherselfatmyfeet,andconjuredme

tosaveherhonour.Iraisedherfromtheground,andassuredher

shemightrelyonme.Ithentooksomeropeswhichwere

opportunelyinthekitchen,andwithherassistancetiedLeonarda

tothelegsofalargetable,protestingthatIwouldkillherif

sheonlybreathedamurmur.Afterthat,lightingacandle,Iwent

withtheincognitatothetreasury,whereIfilledmypockets

withpistoles,singleanddouble,asfullastheycouldhold.To

encouragetheladynottobescrupulous,Ibeggedshewouldthink

herselfathome,andmakefreewithherown.Withourfinances

thusrecruited,wewenttowardsthestable,whereImarchedin

withmypistolscocked.Iwasofopinionthattheoldblackamoor,

forallhisgoutandrheumatism,wouldnotletmesaddleand

bridlemyhorsepeaceably,andmyresolutionwastoputa

finishinghandtoallhisailmentsifhetookitintohisheadto

playthechurl:but,bygoodluck,hewasatthatmomentinsuch

painthatIstolethesteedwithouthisperceivingthatthedoor

wasopen.Theladyinthemeantimewaswaitingforme.Wewere

notlonginthreadingthepassageleadingtotheoutlet;but

reachedthegrate,openedit,andatlastgottothetrap.Much

adotherewastoliftit,whichwecouldnothavedone,butfor

thenewstrengthweborrowedfromthehopesofourescape.

Daywasbeginningtodawnwhenweemergedfromthatabyss.Our

firstobjectwastogetasfarfromitaspossible.Ijumpedinto

thesaddle:theladygotupbehindme,andtakingthefirstpath

thatoffered,wesoongallopedoutoftheforest.Comingtosome

cross-roadswetookourchance.Itrembledforfearofits

leadingtoMansilla,andourencounteringRolandoandhis

comrades.Luckilymyapprehensionswereunfounded.Wegotto

Astorgabytwoo’clockintheafternoon.Thepeoplelookedatus

asiftheyhadneverseensuchasightbeforeasawomanriding

behindaman.Wealightedatthefirstinn.Iimmediatelyordered

apartridgeandayoungrabbittothespit.Whilemyorderswere

inatrainofexecution,theladywasshowntoaroom,wherewe

begantoscrapeacquaintancewithoneanother;whichwehadnot

doneontheroad,onaccountofthespeedwemade.Sheexpressed

ahighsenseofmyservices,andtoldmethatafterso

gentlemanlyaconduct,shecouldnotallowherselftothinkme

oneofthegangfromwhomIhadrescuedher.Itoldhermystory

toconfirmhergoodopinion.BythesemeansIentitledmyselfto

herconfidence,andtotheknowledgeofhermisfortunes,which

sherecountedtothefollowingeffect.

CH.XI—ThehistoryofDonnaMenciadeMosquera.

IWASbornatValladolid,andamcalledDonnaMenciadeMosquera.

Myfather,DonMartin,afterspendingmostofhisfamilyestate

intheservice,waskilledinPortugalattheheadofhis

regiment.Heleftmesolittleproperty,thatIwasabadmatch,

thoughanonlydaughter.Iwasnot,however,withoutmyadmirers,

notwithstandingthemediocrityofmyfortune.Severalofthemost

considerablecavaliersinSpainsoughtmeinmarriage.My

favouritewasDonAlvardeMello.Itistruehehadaprettier

personthanhisrivals;butmoresolidqualitiesdeterminedmein

hisfavour.Hehadwit,discretion,valour,probity;andin

additiontoallthese,anairoffashion.Wasanentertainmentto

begiven?Histastewassuretobedisplayed.Ifheappearedin

thelists,healwaysfixedtheeyesofthebeholdersonhis

strengthanddexterity.Isingledhimoutfromamongallthe

rest,andmarriedhim.

Afewdaysafterournuptials,hemetDonAndrewdeBa�sa,who

hadbeenhisrival,inaprivateplace.Theyattackedoneanother

swordinhand,andDonAndrewfell.Ashewasnephewtothe

corregidorofValladolid,aturbulentman,violentlyincensed

againstthehouseofMello,DonAlvarthoughthecouldnotsoon

enoughmakehisescape.Hereturnedhomespeedily,andtoldme

whathadhappenedwhilehishorsewasgettingready.Mydear

Mencia,saidheatlength,wemustpart.Youknowthecorregidor:

letusnotflatterourselves;hewillhuntmeeventodeath.You

areunacquaintedwithhisinfluence;thisempirewillbetoohot

toholdme.Hewassopenetratedbyhisowngriefandmineasnot

tobeabletoarticulatefurther.Imadehimtakesomecashand

jewels:thenhefoldedmeinhisarms,andwedidnothingbut

mingleoursighsandtearsforaquarterofanhour.Inashort

timethehorsewasatthedoor.Hetorehimselffromme,andleft

meinaconditionnoteasilytobeexpressed.Ithadbeenwellif

theexcessofmyafflictionhaddestroyedme!Howmuchpainand

troublemightIhaveescapedbydeath!SomehoursafterDonAlvar

wasgone,thecorregidorbecameacquaintedwithhisflight.He

setupahueandcryafterhim,sparingnopainstogethiminto

hispower.Myhusband,however,eludedhispursuit,andgotinto

safequarters;sothatthejudge,findinghimselfreducedto

confinehisvengeancetothepoorsatisfactionofconfiscating,

wherehemeanttoexecute,labouredtogoodpurposeinhis

vocation.DonAlvar’slittlepropertyallwenttothehammer.

Iremainedinaverycomfortlesssituation,withscarcelythe

meansofsubsistence.Aretiredlifewasbestsuitedtomy

circumstances,withasinglefemaleservant.Ipassedmyhoursin

lamenting,notanindigence,whichIborepatiently,butthe

absenceofabelovedhusband,ofwhomIreceivednoaccounts.He

hadindeedpledgedhimself,inthemelancholymomentsofour

parting,tobepunctualinacquaintingmewithhisdestiny,to

whateverpartoftheworldhisevilstarmightconducthim.And

yetsevenyearsroiledonwithoutmyhearingofhim.Mysuspense

respectinghisfateafflictedmemostdeeply.AtlastIheardof

hisfallinginbattle,underthePortuguesebanner,inthe

kingdomofFez.AmannewlyreturnedfromAfricabroughtmethe

account,withtheassurancethathehadbeenwellacquaintedwith

DonAlvardeMello;hadservedwithhiminthearmy,andhadseen

himdropintheaction.Tothisnarrativeoffactsheadded

severalcollateralcircumstances,whichleftmenoroomtodoubt

ofmyhusband’sprematuredeath.

AboutthistimeDonAmbrosioMesiaCarillo,Marquisdela

Guardia,arrivedatValladolid.Hewasoneofthoseelderly

noblemenwho,withthatgoodbreedingacquiredbylongexperience

incourts,throwtheiryearsintothebackground,andretainthe

facultyofmakingthemselvesagreeabletooursex.Onedayhe

happenedbyaccidenttohearthestoryofDonAlvar;and,from

thepartIboreinitandthedescriptionofmyperson,there

aroseadesireofbeingbetteracquainted.Tosatisfyhis

curiosity,hemadeinterestwithoneofmyrelationstoinviteme

toherhouse.Thegentlemanwasoneoftheparty.Thisfirst

interviewmadenotthelessimpressiononhisheartforthe

tracesofsorrowwhichweretooobviousonmycountenance.Hewas

touchedbyitsmelancholyandlanguishingexpression,whichgave

himafavourableforecastofmyconstancy.Respect,ratherthan

anywarmersentiment,mightperhapsbetheinspirerofhis

wishes.Forhetoldmemorethanoncewhatamiracleofgood

faithheconsideredme,andmyhusband’sfateasenviableinthis

respect,howeverlamentableinothers.Inaword,hewasstruck

withmeatfirstsight,anddidnotwaitforareviewofmy

pretensions,butatoncetooktheresolutionofmakingmehis

wife.

Theinterventionofmykinswomanwasadoptedasthemeansof

inducingmetoaccepthisproposal.Shepaidmeavisit;andin

thecourseofconversation,pleaded,thatasmyhusbandhad

submittedtothedecreeofProvidenceinthekingdomofFez,

accordingtoverycredibleaccounts,itwasnolongerrationalto

coopupmycharms.IhadshedtearsenoughoveramantowhomI

hadbeenunitedbutforafewmomentsasitwere,andIoughtto

availmyselfofthepresentoffer,andhadnothingtodobutto

stepintohappinessatonce.Infurtheranceofthesearguments,

shesetforththeoldmarquis’spedigree,hiswealth,andhigh

character:butinvaindidhereloquenceexpatiateonhis

endowments,forIwasnottobemoved.Notthatmymindmisgave

merespectingDonAlvar’sdeath;northattheapprehensionofhis

suddenandunwelcomeappearancehereafter,checkedmy

inclinations.Mylittleliking,orrathermyextremerepugnance,

toasecondmarriage,afterthesadissueofthefirst,wasthe

soleobstacleopposedtomyrelation’surgency.Neitherwasshe

disheartened:onthecontrary,herzealforDonAmbrosioresorted

toendlessstratagems.Allmyfamilywerepressedintotheold

lord’sservice.Sobeneficialamatchwasnottobetrifledwith!

Theywereeternallybesetting,dunning,andtormentingme.In

fact,mydespondency,whichincreasedfromdaytoday,

contributednotalittletomyyielding.

Astherewasnogettingridofhim,Igavewaytotheireager

suit,andwasweddedtotheMarquisdelaGuardia.Thedayafter

thenuptials,wewenttoaveryfinecastleofhisnearBurgos,

betweenGrajalandRodillas.Heconceivedaviolentloveforme:

thedesireofpleasingwasvisibleinallhisactions:the

anticipationofmyslenderestwisheswashisearliestandhis

lateststudy.Nohusbandeverregardedhiswifemoretenderly,no

lovercouldpourforthmoredevotiontohismistress.Norwould

ithavebeenpossibleformetosteelmyheartagainstareturn

ofpassion,thoughouragesweresodisproportioned,hadnot

everysoftsentimentbeenburiedinDonAlvar’sgrave.Butthe

avenuesofaconstantheartarebarredagainstasecondinmate.

Thememoryofmyfirsthusbandthrewadamponallthekind

effortsofthesecond.Meregratitudewasacoldretributionfor

suchtenderness;butitwasallIhadtogive.

Suchwasmytemperofmind,when,takingtheaironedayata

windowinmyapartment,Iperceivedapeasant-lookingmaninthe

garden,viewingmewithfixedattention.Heappearedtobea

commonlabourer.Thecircumstancesoonpassedoutofmythoughts;

butthenextday,havingagaintakenmystationatthewindow,I

sawhimontheself-samespot,andagainfoundmyselftheobject

ofhiseagergaze.Thisseemedstrange!Ilookedathiminmy

turn;and,afteranattentivescrutiny,thoughtIcouldtracethe

featuresoftheunhappyDonAlvar.Thisseemingvisitfromthe

tombsrousedallthedormantagonyofmysoul,andextortedfrom

meapiercingscream.Happily,IwasthenalonewithIn�s,whoof

allmywomenengagedthelargestshareofmyconfidence.Itold

herwhatsurmisehadsoagitatedmyspirits.Sheonlylaughedat

theidea,andtookitforgrantedthataslightresemblancehad

imposedonmyfancy.Takecourage,madam,saidshe,anddonotbe

afraidofseeingyourfirsthusband.Whatlikelihoodisthereof

hisbeinghereinthedisguiseofapeasant?Isitevenwithin

thereachofcredibilitythatheisyetalive?However,Iwillgo

downintothegarden,andtalkwiththisrustic.Iwillanswer

forfindingoutwhobeis,andwillreturninallpossiblehaste

withmyintelligence.In�sranonhererrandlikealapwing;but

soonreturnedtomyapartmentwithafaceofmingledastonishment

andemotion.Madam,exclaimedshe,yourconjectureisbuttoo

wellgrounded;itisindeedDonAlvarwhomyouhaveseen;hemade

himselfknownatonce,andpleadsforaprivateinterview.

AsIhadthemeansofadmittingDonAlvarinstantaneously,bythe

absenceoftheMarquisatBurgos,Icommissionedmywaiting-maid

tointroducehimintomyclosetbyaprivatestaircase.Wellmay

youimaginethehurryandagitationofmyspirits.HowcouldI

supportthepresenceofaman,whowasentitledtooverwhelmme

withreproaches?Ifaintedathisveryfoot-fallasheentered.

Theywereaboutmeinamoment—heaswellasIn�s;andwhen

theyhadrecoveredmefrommyswoon,DonAlvarsaid—Madam,

forheaven’ssake,composeyourself.Mypresenceshallneverbe

thecauseofpaintoyou;norwouldIfortheworldexposeyouto

theslightestanxiety.Iamnosavagehusband,cometoaccount

withyouforasacredpledge;nordoIimputetocriminalmotives

thesecondcontractyouhaveformed.Iamwellawarethatitwas

owingtotheimportunityofyourfriends;yourpersecutionsfrom

thatquarterarenotunknowntome.Besides,thereportofmy

deathwascurrentinValladolid;andyouhadsomuchthemore

reasontogiveitcredit,asnoletterfrommegaveyouany

assurancetothecontrary.Inshort,Iamnostrangertoyour

habitsoflifesinceourcruelseparation;andknowthat

necessity,notlightnessofheart,hasthrownyouintothearms

Ah!sir,interruptedIwithsobs,whywillyoumakeexcusesfor

yourunworthywife?Sheisguilty,sinceyousurvive.WhyamI

notstillintheforlornstateinwhichIlanguishedbeforemy

marriagewithDonAmbrosio?Fatalnuptials!—alas!butfor

these,Ishouldatleasthavehadtheconsolationinmy

wretchednessofseeingtheobjectofmyfirstvowsagainwithout

ablush.

MydearMencia,repliedDonAlvar,withalookwhichmarkedhow

deeplyhewaspenetratedbymycontrition,Imakenocomplaintof

you;andfarfromupbraidingyouwithyourpresentprosperity,as

heavenismywitness,Ireturnitthanksforthefavoursithas

showeredonyou.Sincethesaddayofmydeparturefrom

Valladolid,myownfatehaseverbeenadverse.Mylifehasbeen

butatissueofmisfortune;and,asasurchargeofevildestiny,

Ihadnomeansoflettingyouhearfromme.Toosecureinyour

affection,Icouldneitherthinknordreambutofthecondition

towhichmyfatallovemighthavereducedyou.DonnaMenciain

tearswasthelovely,butkillingspectrethathauntedme;ofall

mymiseries,yourdearideawasthemostacute.Sometimes,I

own,Ifeltremorseforthetransportingcrimeofhavingpleased

you.Iwishedyouhadlentaneartothesuitofsomehappier

rival,sincethepreferencewithwhichyouhadhonouredmewasto

fallsocruellyonyourownhead.Tocutshortmymelancholytale

—aftersevenyearsofsuffering,moreenamouredthanever,I

determinedtoseeyouonceagain.Theimpulsewasnottobe

resisted;andtheexpirationofalongslaveryhavingfurnished

mewiththepowerofgivingwaytoit,IhavebeenatValladolid

underthisdisguiseatthehazardofadiscovery.There,I

learnedthewholestory.Ithencametothiscastle,andfound

themeansofadmissionintothegardener’sservice,whohas

engagedmeasalabourer.Suchwasmystratagemtoobtainthis

privateinterview.Butdonotsupposemecapableofblasting,by

mycontinuancehere,thehappinessofyourfuturedays.Ilove

youbetterthanmyownlife;Ihavenoconsiderationbutforyour

repose;anditismypurpose,afterthusunburdeningmyheart,to

finishinexilethesacrificeofanexistencewhichhaslostits

valuesincenolongertobedevotedtoyourservice.

No,DonAlvar,no,exclaimedIatthesewords;youshallnever

quitmeasecondtime.Iwillbethecompanionofyour

wanderings;anddeathonlyshalldivideusfromthishour.Take

myadvice,repliedhe,livewithDonAmbrosio;unitenotyourself

withmymiseries,butleavemetostandundertheirundivided

weight.Theseandothersuchentreatiesheused;butthemore

willingheseemedtosacrificehimselftomywelfare,theless

didIfeeldisposedtotakeadvantageofhisgenerosity.Whenhe

sawmeresoluteinmydeterminationtofollowhim,heallatonce

changedhistone;andassuminganaspectofmoresatisfaction,

Madam,saidhe,sinceyoustillloveDonAlvarwellenoughto

preferadversitywithhimbeforeyourpresenteaseandaffluence,

letusthentakeupourabodeatBetancos,intheinteriorof

Galicia.ThereIhaveasaferetreat.Thoughmymisfortunesmay

havestrippedmeofallmyeffects,theyhavenotalienatedall

myfriends;someareyetfaithful,andhavefurnishedmewiththe

meansofcarryingyouoff.WiththeirhelpIhavehireda

carriageatZamora;haveboughtmulesandhorses,andam

accompaniedbyperhapsthethreeboldestoftheGalicians.They

arearmedwithcarabinesandpistols,waitingmyordersatthe

villageofRodillas.LetusavailourselvesofDonAmbrosio’s

absence.Iwillsendthecarriagetothecastlegate,andwewill

setoutwithoutlossoftime.Iconsented.DonAlvarflewtowards

Rodillas,andshortlyreturnedwithhisescort.Mywomen,from

themidstofwhomIwascarriedoff,notknowingwhattothinkof

thisviolentproceeding,madetheirescapeingreatterror.In�s

onlywasinthesecret;butshewouldnotlinkherfatewith

mine,onaccountofaloveaffairwithDonAmbrosio’sfavourite

man.

Igotintothecarriage,therefore,withDonAlvar,taking

nothingwithmebutmyclothesandsomejewelsofmyownbefore

mysecondmarriage;forIcouldnotthinkofappropriatingany

presentsoftheMarquis.Wetravelledinthedirectionof

Galicia,withoutknowingifweshouldbeluckyenoughtoreach

it.WehadreasontofearDonAmbrosio’spursuitonhisreturn,

andthatweshouldbeovertakenbysuperiornumbers.Wewent

forwardfortwodayswithoutanyalarm,andinthehopeofbeing

equallyfortunatethethird,hadgotintoaveryquiet

conversation.DonAlvarwasrelatingthemelancholyadventure

whichhadoccasionedtherumourofhisdeath,andhowhe

recoveredhisfreedom,afterfiveyearsofslavery,when

yesterdaywemetupontheLeonroadthebandittiyouwerewith.

Heitwaswhomtheykilledwithallhisattendants,anditisfor

himthetearsflow,whichyouseemesheddingatthismoment.

CH.XII.—Adisagreeableinterruption.

DONNAMENCIAmeltedintotearsasshefinishedthisrecital.I

allowedhertogiveafreepassagetohersighs;Ievenwept

myselfforcompany,sonaturalisittobeinterestedforthe

afflicted,andespeciallyforalovelyfemaleindistress.Iwas

justgoingtoaskherwhatshemeanttodointhepresent

conjuncture,andpossiblyshewasgoingtoconsultmeonthesame

subjectifourconversationhadnotbeeninterrupted;butwe

heardagreatnoiseintheinn,whichdrewourattentionwhether

wewouldorno.Itwasnolessthanthearrivalofthe

corregidor,attendedbytwoalguazilsandtheirmarshalmen.They

cameintotheroomwherewewere.Ayounggentlemanintheir

traincamefirstuptome,andbegantakingtopiecesthe

differentarticlesofmydress.Hehadnooccasiontoexamine

themlong.BySaintJames,exclaimedhe,thisismyidentical

doublet!Itistheverything,andassafelytobechallengedas

myhorse.Youmaycommitthissparkonmyrecognizance;heisone

ofthegangwhohaveanundiscoveredretreatinthiscountry.

Atthisdiscourse,whichgavemetounderstandmyaccusertobe

thegentlemanrobbed,whosespoilstomyconfusionwere

exclusivelymyown,Iwaswithoutawordtosayformyself,

lookingonewayandtheother,andnotknowingwheretofixmy

eyes.Thecorregidor,whoseofficewassuspicion,setmedownfor

theculprit;and,presumingontheladyforanaccomplice,

orderedusintoseparatecustody.Thismagistratewasnoneof

yourstemgallows-preachingfellows,hehadajocular

epigrammaticsortofcountenance.Godknowsifhisheartlayin

therightplaceforallthat!AssoonasIwascommitted,incame

hewithhispack.Theyknewtheirtrade,andbeganbysearching

me.Whataforfeittotheselordsofthemanor!Ateveryhandful

ofpistoles,whatlittleeyesdidIseethemmake!Thecorregidor

wasabsolutelyoutofhiswits!Itwasthebeststrokewithinthe

memoryofjustice!Myprettylad,saidhisWorshipwitha

softenedtone,weonlydoourduty,butdonotyoutremblefor

yourbonesbeforethetime:youwillnotbebrokenonthewheel

ifyoudonotdeserveit.Thesebloodsuckerswereemptyingmy

pocketsallthetimewiththeircursedpalaver,andtookfromme

whattheirbettersoftheshadesbelowhadthedecencytoleave-

-myuncle’sfortyducats.Theystuckatnothing!Theirstaunch

fingers,withslowbutcertainscent,routedmeoutfromtopto

toe;theywhiskedmeroundandround,andstrippedmeeventothe

shameofmodesty,forfearsomesneakingportraitoftheking

shouldslinkbetweenmyshirtandskin.Whentheycouldsiftme

nofurther,thecorregidorthoughtittimetobeginhis

examination.Itoldaplaintale.Mydepositionwastakendown;

andthesequelwas,thathecarriedinhistrainhisbloodhounds,

andmylittleproperty,leavingmetotosswithoutaragupona

beggarlywispofstraw.

Ohthemiseriesofhumanlife!groanedI,whenIfoundmyselfin

thismercilessandsolitarycondition.Ouradventureshereare

whimsical,andoutofalltimeandtune.Frommyfirstoutset

fromOviedo,Ihadgotintoapleasantroundofdifficulties;

hardlyhadIworkedmyselfoutofonedanger,beforeIsoused

intoanother.Comingintotownhere,howcouldIexpectthe

honourofthecorregidor’sacquaintance?Whilethuscommuning

withmyownthoughts,Igotoncemoreintothecurseddoubletand

therestoftheparaphernaliawhichhadgotmeintosucha

scrape;thenpluckingupalittlecourage,nevermind,GilBlas,

thoughtI,donotbechicken-hearted.Whatisaprisonabove-ground,aftersobrimstoneasnuffleasthouhasthadofthe

regionsbelow?But,alas!IhallobeforeIamoutofthewood!I

aminmoreexperiencedhandsthanthoseofLeonardaandDomingo.

Mykeywillnotopenthisgrate!Imightwellsayso,fora

prisonerwithoutmoneyislikeabirdwithitswingsclipt;one

mustbeinfullfeathertoflutteroutofdistancefromthese

gaol-birds.

Butweleftapartridgeandayoungrabbitonthespit!Howthey

gotoffIknownot;butmysupperwasabitofsallow-complexionedbread,withapitcherofwatertorenderitamenable

tomastication!andthuswasIdestinedtobitethebridleinmy

dungeon.Afortnightwasprettywellwithoutseeingasoulbutmy

keeper,whohadordersthatIshouldwantfornothinginthe

breadandwaterway!WheneverhemadehisappearanceIwas

inclinedtobesociable,andtoparleyalittletogetridofthe

bluedevils;butthismajesticministerwasabovereply,hewas

mum!hescarcelytrustedhiseyesbuttoseethatIdidnotslip

byhim.Onthesixteenthday,thecorregidorstruttedintothis

tune—Youarealuckyfellow!Ihavenewsforyou.Theladyis

packedoffforBurgos.Shecameundermyexaminationbeforeher

departure,andheranswerswenttoyourexculpation.Youwillbe

atlargethisverydayifyourcarrierfromPegnaflorto

Cacabelosagreesinthesametale.HeisnowinAstorga.Ihave

sentforhim,andexpecthimhere;ifheconfirmsthestoryof

thetorture,youareyourownmaster.

AtthesewordsIwasreadytojumpoutofmyskinforjoy.The

businesswassettled!Ithankedthemagistratefortheabridgment

ofjusticewithwhichhehaddeignedtofavourme,andwas

gettingtothefagendofmycompliment,whenthemuleteer

arrived,withanattendantbeforeandbehind.Iknewthefellow’s

face;buthe,havingasamatterofcoursesoldmycloakbagwith

thecontents,fromadeep-rootedaffectiontothemoneywhichthe

salehadbrought,sworelustilythathehadnoacquaintancewith

me,andhadneverseenmeinthewholecourseofhislife.Oh!

youvillain,exclaimedI,godownonyourkneesandownthatyou

havesoldmyclothes.Prythee,havesomeregardtotruth!Lookin

myface;amnotIoneofthoseshallowyoungfellowswhomyouhad

thewittothreatenwiththerackinthecorporatetownof

Cacabelos?Themuleteerturneduponhistoe,andprotestedhehad

notthehonourofmyacquaintance.Ashepersistedinhis

disavowal,Iwasrecommittedforfurtherexamination.Patience

oncemore!Itwasonlyreducingfeastsandfaststothelevelof

breadandwater,andregalingtheonlysenseIhadthemeansof

usingwiththesightofmytongue-tiedwarden.ButwhenI

reflectedhowlittleinnocencewouldavailtoextricatemefrom

theclutchesofthelaw,thethoughtwasdeath;Ipantedformy

subterraneousparadise.Takeitforallinall,saidI,there

werefewergrievancesthaninthisdungeon.Iwashailfellow

wellmetwiththebanditti!Ibandiedaboutmyjokeswiththe

bestofthem,andlivedonthesweethopeofanescape;whereas

myinnocenceherewillonlybeapassporttothegalleys.

CH.XIII.—TheluckymeansbywhichGilBlasescapedfrom

prison,andhistravelsafterwards.

WHILEIpassedthehoursinticklingmyfancywithmyowngay

thoughts,myadventures,wordforword,asIhadsetmyhandto

them,werecurrentaboutthetown.Thepeoplewantedtomakea

showofme!Oneafteranother,theretheycame,peepinginata

littlewindowofmyprison,nottoocapaciousofdaylight;and

whentheyhadlookedaboutthem,offtheywent!Thisrareeshow

wasanovelty.Sincemycommitment,therehadnotbeenaliving

creatureatthatwindow,whichlookedintoacourtwheresilence

andhorrorkeptguard.ThisgavemetounderstandthatIwas

becomethetown-talk,andIknewnotwhethertodivinegoodor

evilfromtheomen.

OneofmyfirstvisitorswasthelittlechoristerofMondognedo,

whohadafellow-feelingwithmefortherack,andanequally

lightpairofheels.Iknewhimatonce,andhehadnoqualms

aboutacknowledgingmeasanacquaintance.Weexchangedakind

greeting,thencomparednotessinceourseparation.Iwasobliged

torelatemyadventuresindueformandorder.Thechorister,on

hispart,toldmewhathadhappenedintheinnatCacabelos,

betweenthemuleteerandthebride,afterwehadtakentoour

heelsinapanic.Thenwithafriendlyassuranceatparting,he

promisedtoleavenostoneunturnedformyrelease.His

companionsofmerecuriositytestifiedtheirpityformy

misfortune;assuringmethattheywouldlendahelpinghandto

thelittlechorister,anddotheirutmosttoprocuremyfreedom.

Theywerenoworsethantheirword.Thecorregidorwasappliedto

inmyfavour,who,nolongerdoubtfulofmyinnocence,aboveall

whenhehadheardthechorister’sstory,camethreeweeks

afterwardsintomycell.GilBlas,saidhe,Ineverstandshilly-shally:begone,youarefree;youmaytakeyourselfoffwhenever

youplease.But,tellme,ifyouwerecarriedtotheforest,

couldyounotdiscoverthesubterraneousretreat?No,sir,

repliedI:asIonlyenteredinthenight,andmademyescape

beforedaybreak,itwouldbeimpossibletofixuponthespot.

Thereuponthemagistratewithdrew,assuringmethatthegaoler

shouldbeorderedtogivemefreeegress.Infact,theverynext

momenttheturnkeycameintomydungeon,followedbyoneofhis

outridingestablishmentwithabundleofclothesunderhisarm.

Theybothofthemstrippedmewiththeutmostsolemnity,and

withoututteringasinglesyllable,ofmydoubletandbreeches,

whichhadthehonourtobemadeofabettermostclothalmostnew;

then,havingriggedmeinanoldfrock,theyshovedmeoutof

theirhospitablemansionbytheshoulders.

ThetakingIwasintoseemyselfsoillequipped,actedasa

coolertotheusualtransportofprisonersatrecoveringtheir

liberty.Iwastemptedtoescapefromthetownwithoutdelay,

thatImightwithdrawfromthegazeofthepeople,whoseprying

eyesIcouldnotencounterbutwithpain.Mygratitude,however,

gotthebetterofmydiffidence.Iwenttothankthelittle

chorister,towhomIwassomuchobliged.Hecouldnothelp

chucklingwhenhesawme.Thatisyourtrim,isit?saidhe.As

farasIsee,youcannotcomplainthatyourcasehasnotbeen

siftedtothebottom.Ihavenothingtosayagainstthelawsof

mycountry,repliedI;theyareasjustasneedbe.Ionlywish

theirofficerswouldtakeafterthem!Theymighthavesparedme

mysuitofclothes:Ihavepaidforthemoverandoveragain.I

amquiteofyourmind,rejoinedhe;buttheywouldtellyouthat

thesearelittleformalitiesofoldstanding,whichcannotbe

dispensedwith.What!youarefoolishenoughtosuppose,for

instance,thatyourhorsehasbeenrestoredtoitsrightowner?

Notawordofit,ifyouplease:thebeastisatthispresentin

thestablesoftheregister,whereithasbeenimpoundedasa

witnesstobebroughtintocourt:ifthepoorgentlemancomesoff

withthecrupper,hewillbesomuchinpocket.Butletuschange

thesubject.Whatisyourplan?Whatdoyoumeantodowith

yourself?Ihaveaninclination,saidI,totaketheroadfor

Burgos.Imaylightonmyrescuedlady;shewillgivemealittle

readycash:Ishallthenbuyanewshortcassock,andbetake

myselftoSalamanca,whereIshallseewhatIcanmakeofmy

Latin.Allmytroubleis,howtogettoBurgos:onemustliveon

theroad.Iunderstandyou,repliedhe.Takemypurse:itis

ratherthinlylined,tobesure;butyouknowachorister’s

dividendsarenotlikeabishop’s.Atthesametimehedrewit

fromhispouch,andinserteditbetweenmyhandswithsogooda

grace,thatIcouldnotdootherwisethanacceptit,forwantof

abetter.Ithankedhimasthoughhehadmademeapresentofa

goldmine,andtenderedhimathousandpromisesofrecompense,to

bedulyhonouredandpunctuallypaidatdoom’s-day.WiththisI

lefthim,andskulkedoutofthetown,notpayingmyrespectsto

myotherbenefactors;butgivingthemathousandblessingsfrom

myheart.

Thelittlechoristerhadreasonforspeakingmodestlyofhis

purse,itwasnotorthodox.Bygoodluck,Ihadbeenusedfor

thesetwomonthstoaveryslenderdiet,andhadstillalittle

smallchangeleftwhenIreachedPontedeMula,notfarfrom

Burgos.IhaltedtheretoinquireafterDonnaMencia.Thehostess

oftheinnIputupatwasalittlewithered,spiteful,emaciated

bitofmortality.Isawataglance,bythemouthsshemadeatme

aside,thatmyfrockdidnothitherfancy;andIthoughtita

proofofhertaste.SoIsatmyselfdownatatable;atebread

andcheese,anddrankafewglassesofexecrablewine,suchas

innkeeperstechnicallycallcassecoquin.Duringthismeal,which

wasofapiecewiththeoutwardappearanceoftheguest,Ididmy

utmosttocometocloserquarterswithmylandlady.Didsheknow

theMarquisdelaGuardia?Washiscastlefaroutoftown?Above

all,whatwasbecomeofmyladymarchioness?Youaskmany

questionsinabreath,repliedshe,bridlingwithdisdain.ButI

gotoutofher,thoughbyhardpumping,thatDonAmbrosio’s

castlewasbutashortleaguefromPontedeMula.

AfterIhaddoneeatinganddrinking,asitwasnight,Ithought

itnaturaltogotobed,andaskedformyroom.Aroomforyou!

shriekedmylandlady,dartingatmeaglanceofcontemptand

pride;Ihavenoroomsforfellowswhomaketheirsupperonabit

ofcheese.Allmybedsarebespoke.Therearepeopleoffashion

expected,andouraccommodationsareallkeptforthem.

ButIwillnotbeunchristian:youmaylieinmybarn:Isuppose

yoursoftskinwillnotbeincommodedbythefeelofstraw.She

spoketruthwithoutknowingit.Itookitallinsilence,and

slunktomyroosting-place,whereIfellasleeplikeaman,the

excessofwhoselaboursarehisreadypassporttotheblessings

ofrepose.

CHXIV.—DonnaMencia’sreceptionofhimatBurgos.

IWASnosluggard,butgotupthenextmorningbetimes.Ipaidmy

billtothelandlady,whowasalreadystirring,andseemeda

littlelessloftyandinbetterhumourthantheeveningbefore;a

circumstanceIattributedtotheendeavoursofthreekind

guardsmenbelongingtotheholybrotherhood.Thesegentlemenhad

sleptintheinn:theywereevidentlyonaveryintimatefooting

withthehostess:anddoubtlessitwasforguestsofsuchnote

thatallthebedswerebespoke.

IinquiredinthetownmywaytothecastlewhereIwantedto

presentmy.self.ByaccidentImadeuptoamannotunlikemy

landlordatPegnaflor.Hewasnotsatisfiedwithansweringmy

questiontothepoint;butinformedmethatDonAmbrosiohadbeen

deadthreeweeks,andthemarchionesshisladyhadtakenthe

resolutionofretiringtoaconventatBurgos,whichhenamed.I

proceededimmediatelytowardsthattown,insteadoftakingthe

roadtothecastle,asIhadfirstmeanttodo,andflewatonce

totheplaceofDonnaMencia’sretreat.Ibesoughttheattendant

attheturning-boxtotellthatladythatayoungmanjust

dischargedfromprisonatAstorgawantedtospeakwithher.The

nunwentonthemessageimmediately.Onherreturn,sheshowedme

intoaparlour,whereIdidnotwaitlongbeforeDonAmbrosio’s

widowappearedatthegrateindeepmourning.

Youarewelcome,saidthelady.FourdaysagoIwrotetoaperson

atAstorga,topayyouavisitasfromme,andtotellyouto

comeandseemethemomentyouwerereleasedfromprison.Ihad

nodoubtofyourbeingdischargedshortly:whatItoldthe

corregidorinyourexculpationwasenoughforthat.Ananswerwas

broughtthatyouhadbeensetatliberty,butthatnooneknew

whatwasbecomeofyou.Iwasafraidofnotseeingyouanymore,

andlosingthepleasureofexpressingmygratitude.Nevermind,

addedshe,observingmyconfusionatmakingmyappearanceinso

wretchedagarb;yourdressisofverylittleconsequence.After

theimportantservicesyouhaverenderedme,Ishouldbethemost

ungratefulofmysex,ifIweretodonothingforyouinreturn.

Iundertake,therefore,tobetteryourcondition:itismyduty,

andthemeansareinmypower.Myfortuneislargeenoughtopay

mydebtofobligationtoyou,withoutputtingmyselfto

inconvenience.

Youknow,continuedshe,mystoryuptothetimewhenweboth

werecommittedtoprison.Iwillnowtellyouwhathashappened

tomesince.WhenthecorregidoratAstorgahadsentmeto

Burgos,afterhavingheardfrommyownlipsafaithfulrecitalof

myadventures,IpresentedmyselfatthecastleofAmbrosio.My

returnthitherexcitedextremesurprise:buttheytoldmethatit

wastoolate;themarquis,asifhehadbeenthunderstruckatmy

flight,fellsick;andthephysiciansdespairedofhisrecovery.

Herewasanewincidentinthemelancholytragedyofmyfate.Yet

Iorderedmyarrivaltobeannounced.ThenextmomentIraninto

hischamber,andthrewmyselfonmykneesbyhisbedside,witha

facerunningdownwithtearsandaheartoppressedwiththemost

livelysorrow.Whosentforyouhither?saidheassoonashesaw

me;areyoucometocontemplateyourowncontrivance?Wasitnot

enoughtohavedeprivedmeoflife?Butwasitnecessaryto

satisfyyourheart’sdesire,tobeaneye-witnessofmydeath?My

lord,repliedI,In�smusthavetoldyouthatIfledwithmy

firsthusband;and,haditnotbeenforthesadaccidentwhich

hastakenhimfrommeforever,youneverwouldhaveseenme

more.Atthesametime,IacquaintedhimthatDonAlvarhadbeen

killedbybanditti,whosecaptiveIhadconsequentlybeenina

subterraneousdungeon.Afterrelatingtheparticularsofmystory

totheend,DonAmbrosioheldouttomehishand.Itisenough,

saidheaffectionately,Iwillmakenomorecomplaints.Alas!

HaveIinfactanyrighttoreproachyou?Youwerethrownonce

moreinthewayofabelovedhusband;andgavemeuptofollow

hisfortunes:canIblamesuchaninstanceofyouraffection?No,

madam,itwouldhavebeenvaintoresistthewilloffate.For

thatreasonIgaveordersnottopursueyou.Inmyrivalhimself

Icouldnotbutrespectthesacredrightswithwhichhewas

invested,andeventheimpulseofyourflightseemedtohavebeen

communicatedbysomesuperiorpower.Tocloseallwithanactof

justice,andinthespiritofreconciliation,yourreturnhither

hasre-establishedyoucompletelyinmyaffection.Yes,mydear

Mencia,yourpresencefillsmewithjoy:but,alas!Ishallnot

longbesensibletoit.Ifeelmylasthourtobeathand.No

soonerareyourestoredtome,thanImustbidyouaneternal

farewell.Atthesetouchingexpressions,mytearsflowedin

torrents.Ifeltandexpressedasmuchafflictionasthehuman

heartiscapableofcontaining.IquestionwhetherDonAlvar’s

death,dotingonhimasIdid,hadcostmemorebitter

lamentations.DonAmbrosiohadgivenwaytonomistakenpresage

ofhisdeath,whichhappenedonthefollowingday;andIremained

mistressofaconsiderablejointure,settledonmeatour

marriage.ButIshalltakecaretomakenounworthyuseofit.

Theworldshallnotseeme,youngasIstillam,wantoninginthe

armsofathirdhusband.Besidesthatsuchlevityseems

irreconcilablewiththefeelingsofanybuttheprofligateofour

sex,Iwillfranklyowntherelishoflifetobeextinctinme;

sothatImeantoendmydaysinthisconvent,andtobecomea

benefactresstoit.

SuchwasDonnaMencia’sdiscourseaboutherfutureplans.She

thendrewapursefrombeneathherrobe,andputitintomy

hands,withthisaddress:Hereareahundredducatssimplyto

furnishoutyourwardrobe.Thatdone,comeandseemeagain.I

meannottoconfinemygratitudewithinsuchnarrowbounds.I

returnedherathousandthanks,andpromisedsolemnlynottoquit

Burgos,withouttakingleaveofher.Havinggiventhispledge,

whichIhadeveryinclinationtoredeem,Iwenttolookoutfor

somehouseofentertainment.EnteringthefirstImetwith,I

askedforaroom.Toparrytheillopinionmyfrockmightconvey

ofmyfinances,Itoldthelandlordthat,howeverappearances

mightbeagainstme,Icouldpayformynight’slodgingaswell

asabetterdressedgentleman.Atthisspeech,thelandlord,

whosenamewasMajuelo,agreatbantererinacoarseway,running

overmewithhiseyesfromtoptotoe,answeredwithacool,

sarcasticgrin,thattherewasnoneedofanysuchassurance;it

wasevidentIshouldpaymywayliberally,forhediscovered

somethingofnobilitythroughmydisguise,andhadnodoubtbutI

wasagentlemaninveryeasycircumstances.Isawplainlythat

therascalwaslaughingatme;and,tostophishumourbeforeit

becametooconvulsive,gavehimalittleinsightintothestate

ofmypurse.Iwentsofarastocountovermyducatsonatable

beforehim,andperceivedmycointohaveinclinedhimtoamore

respectfuljudgment.Ibeggedthefavourofhimtosendfora

tailor.Abrokerwouldbebetter,saidhe;hewillbringall

sortsofapparel,andyouwillbedressedupoutofhand.I

approvedofthisadvice,anddeterminedtofollowit;but,asthe

daywasonthepointofclosing,Iputoffmypurchasetillthe

morrow,andthoughtonlyofgettingagoodsupper,tomakeamends

forthemiserablefareIhadtakenupwithsincemyescapefrom

theforest.

CH.XV.—GilBlasdresseshimselftomoreadvantage,and

receivesasecondpresentfromthelady.Hisequipageonsetting

outfromBurgos.

THEYservedmeupaplentifulfricasseeofsheep’strotters,

almostthewholeofwhichIdemolished.Mydrinkingkeptpace

withmyeating:andwhenIcouldstuffnolonger,Iwenttobed.

Ilaycomfortablyenough,andwasinhopesthatasoundsleep

wouldhavethekindnesswithoutdelaytocommitafriendly

invasiononmysenses.ButIcouldnotcloseaneyefor

ruminatingonthedressIshouldchoose.WhatshallIdo,thought

I?ShallIfollowmyfirstplan?ShallIbuyashortcassock,and

gotoSalamancatosetupforatutor?WhyshouldIadoptthe

costumeofalicentiate?Forthepurposeofgoingintoorders?Do

Ifeelaninwardcall?No?IfIhaveanycall,itisquitethe

contraryway.Ihadratherwearaswordthananapron:andpush

myfortuneinthisworld,beforeIthinkofthenext.

Imadeupmymindtotakeonmyselftheappearanceofa

gentleman.Waitingforthedaywiththegreatestimpatience,its

firstdawnnosoonergreetedmyeyes,thanIgotup.Imadesuch

anuproarintheinn,astowakethemostinveteratesleeper,and

calledtheservantsoutofbed,whoreturnedmysalutewitha

volleyofcurses.Buttheyfoundthemselvesunderanecessityof

stirring,andIletthemhavenoresttilltheyhadsentfora

broker.Thegentlemansoonmadehisappearance,followedbytwo

lads,eachlugginginagreatbundleofgreencloth.Heaccosted

meverycivilly,tothefollowingeffect:Honouredsir,youarea

happymantohavebeenrecommendedtomeratherthananyone

else.Idonotmeantogivemybrethrenanillword:GodforbidI

shouldoffertheslightestinjurytotheirreputation!Theyhave

nonetospare.But,betweenourselves,thereisnotoneofthem

thathasanybowels;theyaremoreextortionatethanthe

Israelites.Thereisnotabrokerbutmyselfthathasanymoral

sense.Ikeepwithintheboundsofareasonableprofit.Iam

satisfiedwithapoundinthepenny;—no,no!—thatis

wrong:—withapennyinthepound.Thankstoheaven,Iget

forwardfairandsoftlyintheworld.

Thebroker,afterthispreface,whichI,likeafool,tookfor

chapterandverse,toldhisjourneymentoundotheirbundles.

Theyshowedmesuitsofeverycolourintherainbow,andexposed

tosaleagreatchoiceofplaincloths.TheseIthrewasidewith

contempt,asthinkingthemtooundrest;buttheymademetryon

onewhichfittedmeaswellasifIhadbeenmeasuredforit,and

justhitmyfancy,thoughitwasalittletheworseforwear.It

wasadoubletwithslashedsleeves,withbreechesandacloak,

thewholeofbluevelvetwithagoldembroidery.Ifeltalittle

hankeringafterthisparticulararticle,andattemptedtobeat

downtheprice.Thebroker,whosawmyinclination,toldmeIhad

averycorrecttaste.Byallthatissacred!exclaimedhe,itis

plainyouarenoyounker.Takethiswithyou!Thatdresswasmade

foroneofthefirstnobilityinthekingdom,andhasnotbeenon

hisbackthreetimes.Lookatthevelvet;feelit:nothingcanbe

richerorofabettercolour;andfortheembroidery,comenow!

telltruth:didyoueverseebetterworkmanship?Whatisthe

priceofit?saidI.Onlysixtyducats,repliedhe.Ihave

refusedthemoney,orelseIamaliar.Thealternativecouldnot

failinonepropositionortheother.Ibidfiveandforty:two

orthreeandtwentywouldhavebeennearerthemark.Myworthy

master,saidthebrokercoolly,Ineverasktoomuch.Ihavebut

oneprice.Buthere,addedhe,holdingupthesuitsIhadthrown

aside;takethese:Icanaffordtosellthemabetterbargain.

AllthisonlyinflamedmyeagernesstobuywhatIwascheapening;

andasIhadnoideathathewouldhavemadeanyabatement,I

paidhimdownsixtyducats.Whenhesawhoweasilyafoolandhis

moneywereparted,Iverilybelievethatinspiteofthemoral

sense,heheartilyrepentednothavingtakenahintfromthe

extortionateIsraelite.Butreconcilinghimselfaswellashe

couldtothesmallprofit,towhichheprofessedtoconfine

himself,ofapounduponapenny,heretreatedwithhis

journeymen.Iwasnotsufferedtoforgetthattheymusthave

somethingfortheirtrouble.

Ihadnowacloak,adoublet,andaverydecentpairofbreeches.

Therestofmywardrobewastobethoughtof:andthistookup

thewholemorning.Iboughtsomelinen,ahat,silkstockings,

shoes,andasword;andconcludedbyputtingonmypurchases.

Whatpleasurewasittoseemyselfsowellaccoutred!Myeyes

werenevercloyed,asitwere,withtherichnessofmyattire.

Neverdidpeacocklookathisownplumagewithlessphilosophy.

Onthatveryday,IpaidasecondvisittoDonnaMencia,who

receivedmewithherusualaffability.Shethankedmeoveragain

fortheserviceIhadrenderedher.Onthatsubject,rapidwas

theinterchangeofcompliments.Then,wishingeverykindof

success,shebademefarewell,andwithdrew,withoutgivingme

anythingbutaringworththirtypistoles,whichshebeggedmeto

keepasaremembrance.

Ilookedveryfoolishwithmyring!Ihadreckonedonamuchmore

considerablepresent.Thus,littlesatisfiedwiththelady’s

bounty,Imeasuredbackmystepsinaverymusingattitude:but

asIenteredtheinndoor,amanovertookme,andthrowingoff

hiswrappingcloak,discoveredalargebagunderhisarm.Atthe

visionofthebag,apparentlyfullofcurrentcoin,Istood

gapingasdidmostofthecompanypresent.Thevoiceofangelor

archangelcouldnothavebeensweeter,thanwhenthismessenger

ofearthlydross,layingthebaguponthetable,said:SignorGil

Blas,theladymarchionessdesireshercompliments.Ibowedthe

bearerout,withanaccumulationoffinespeeches;and,assoon

ashisbackwasturned,pounceduponthebag,likeahawkupon

itsquarry,andboreitbetweenmytalonstomychamber.Iuntied

itwithoutlossoftime,andthecontentswere;—athousand

ducats!Thelandlordwhohadoverheardthebearer,cameinjust

asIhaddonecountingthem,toknowwhatwasinthebag.The

sightofmyrichesdisplayeduponatable,struckhiminavery

forciblemanner.Whatthedevil!hereisasumofmoney!So,so!

youaretheman!pursuedhewithawaggishsortofleer,youknow

howto—ticklethe—fanciesoftheladies!Fourandtwenty

hoursonlyhaveyoubeeninBurgos,andmarchionesses,Iwarrant

you,havesurrenderedatthefirstsummons!

Thisdiscoursewasnotsomuchamiss.Iwashalfinclinedto

leaveMajueloinhiserror;foritflatteredmyvanity.Idonot

wonderyoungfellowsarefondofpassingformenofgallantry.

Butasyetthepurityofmymoralswasproofagainstthe

suggestionsofmypride.Iundeceivedmylandlord,bytellinghim

DonnaMencia’sstory,towhichhelistenedveryattentively.

AfterwardsIlethimintothestateofmyaffairs;and,ashe

seemedtotakeaninterestinthem,besoughthimtoassistme

withhisadvice.Heruminatedforsometime;thensaidwitha

seriousair:MasterGilBlas,Ihavetakenalikingtoyou;and

sinceyouarecandidenoughtoopenyourhearttome,Iwilltell

yousincerelywhatIthinkwouldsuityoubest.Youwere

evidentlybornforacourtlife:Irecommendyoutogothither,

andtogetaboutthepersonofsomeconsiderablenobleman.But

makeapointeitherofgettingathissecrets,oradministering

tohispleasures;unlessyoudothat,itwillbealllosttimein

hisfamily.Iknowthegreat:theyreckonnothinguponthezeal

andattachmentofarealfriend;butonlycareforpimping

sycophants.Youhave,besides,anotherstringtoyourbow.You

areyoung,withanattractiveperson:partsoutofthequestion,

fortheyarenotatalltimesnecessary,itishardifyoucannot

turntheheadofsomerichwidow,orhandsomewifewitha

broomstickforherhusband.Lovemayruinmenoffortune;butit

makesamendsbyfeatheringthenestsofthosewhohavenone.My

vote,therefore,isforMadrid:butyoumustnotmakeyour

appearancetherewithoutanestablishment.There,aselsewhere,

peoplejudgebytheoutside;andyouwillonlyberespected

accordingtothefigureyoumake.Iwillfindyouaservant,a

trieddomestic,aprudentlad;inaword,afellowofmyown

creation.Buyacoupleofmules;oneforyourself,theotherfor

him:andsetoffasfastasyoucan.

Thiscounselwastoopalatabletoberefused.Ontheday

followingIpurchasedtwofinemules,andbargainedwithmynew

servant.Hewasayoungmanofthirty,ofaverysimpleandgodly

appearance.HetoldmehewasanativeofGalicia,byname

AmbrosedeLamela.Otherservantsareselfish,andthinkthey

nevercanhavewagesenough.Thisfellowassuredmehewasaman

offewwants,andshouldbecontentedwithwhateverIhadthe

goodnesstogivehim.Iboughtapairofboots,witha

portmanteautolockupmylinenandmymoney.Havingsettledwith

mylandlord,IsetoutfromBurgosthenextmorningbeforesunrise,onmywaytoMadrid.

CH.XVI.—Showingthatprosperitywillslipthroughaman’s

fingers.

WEsleptatDuengnasthefirstnight,andreachedValladolidon

thefollowingday,aboutfouro’clockintheafternoon.We

alightedattheinnofthemostrespectableappearanceinthe

town.Ileftthecareofthemulestomyfellow,andwentuptoa

roomwhitherIorderedmyportmanteautobecarriedbyawaiter.

AsIfeltalittleweary,Ithrewmyselfonacouchinmyboots,

andfellasleepinvoluntarily.ItwasalmostnightwhenIawoke.

IcalledforAmbrose.Hewasnottobefoundinthehouse;but

madehisappearanceinashorttime.Iaskedhimwherehehad

been:heansweredinhisgodlyway,thathewasjustcomefrom

church,whitherhewentforthepurposeofthanksgiving,by

reasonthatwehadbeengraciouslypreservedfromallperilsand

dangersbetweenBurgosandValladolid.Icommendedhispiety;and

orderedachickentoberoastedforsupper.

AtthemomentwhenIwasgivingthisorder,mylandlordcameinto

myroomwithalightinhishand.Thatcursedcandleservedto

introducealady,handsome,butnotyoung,andveryrichly

attired.Sheleantuponanusher,noneoftheyoungest,anda

littleblackamoorwashertrain-bearer.Iwasundernosmall

surprisewhenthisfairincognita,withaprofoundobeisance,

beggedtoknowifmynamemighthappentobeSignorGilBlasof

Santillane?Ihadnosoonerblunderedoutyes,thanshereleased

hersweethandfromthecustodyoftheusher,andembracedme

withatransportofjoy,ofwhichIknewlessandlesswhatto

make.Heavenbepraised,criedshe,forallitsmercies!Youare

he,noblesir,theverymanofwhomIwasinquest.Bythis

introductionIwasremindedofmyfriendtheparasiteat

Pegnaflor,andwasonthepointofsuspectingtheladytobeno

betterthananhonestwomanshouldbe:butherfinalegavemea

muchhigheropinionofher.Iam,continuedshe,firstcousinto

DonnaMenciadeMosquera,whomyouhavesogreatlybefriended.It

wasbutthismorningIreceivedaletterfromher.Shewritesme

wordthathavinglearntyourintentionofgoingtoMadrid,she

wishedmetoreceiveyouhospitablyonyourjourney,ifyouwent

thisway.ForthesetwohourshaveIbeenparadingthetown.From

inntoinnhaveIgonetoinformmyselfwhatstrangerswerein

thehouse;andIgatheredfromthelandlord’sdescriptionthat

youweremostlikelytohavebeenmycousin’sdeliverer.Since

thenIhavefoundyouout,youshallknowbyexperiencemy

gratitudetothefriendsofmyfamily,andespeciallytomydear

cousin’shero.Youwilltakeupyourabode,ifyouplease,atmy

house.Youraccommodationswillbebetter.Iwishedtoexcuse

myself;andtoldtheladythatIcouldnotbesotroublesome:but

herimportunitiesweremorethanamatchformymodesty.A

carriagewaswaitingatthedooroftheinntoconveyus.Shesaw

myportmanteautakencareofwithherowneyes,because,asshe

justlyobserved,therewereagreatmanylight-fingeredgentry

aboutValladolid—tobesuretherewereagreatmanylight-fingeredgentryaboutValladolid,asshejustlyobserved!In

short,Igotintothecarriagewithherandtheoldusher,and

sufferedmyselftobecarriedoffbodilyfromtheinn,tothe

greatannoyanceofthelandlord,whosawhimselfthusweanedfrom

allthelittleperquisiteshehadreckonedonfrommyabodeunder

hisroof.

Ourcarriage,havingrolledonsomedistance,stopped.We

alightedatthedoorofahandsomehouse,andwentupstairsinto

awell-furnishedapartment,illuminatedbytwentyorthirtywax

candles.Severalservantswereinwaiting,ofwhomthelady

inquiredwhetherDonRaphaelwascome.Theyanswered,No.She

thenaddressedherselftome:SignorGilBlas,Iamwaitingfor

mybrother’sreturnfromacountryseatofours,abouttwo

leaguesdistant.Whatanagreeablesurprisewillitbetohimto

findamanunderhisrooftowhomourfamilyissomuchindebted!

Attheverymomentshehadfinishedthisprettyspeechwehearda

noise,andwereinformedatthesametimethatitwasoccasioned

bythearrivalofDonRaphael.Thissparksoonmadehis

appearance.Hewasayoungmanofportlyfigureandgenteel

manners.Iaminecstacytoseeyoubackagain,brother,saidthe

lady;youwillassistmeindoingthehonourstoSignorGilBlas

ofSantillane.Wecanneverdoenoughtoshowoursenseofhis

kindnesstoourkinswoman,DonnaMencia.Here,readthisletterI

havejustreceived.DonRaphaelopenedtheenvelope,andread

aloudasfollows:

MydearCamilla,SignorGilBlasofSantillane,thesaviourofmy

honourandmylife,hasjustsetoutforcourt.Hewillofcourse

passthroughValladolid.Iconjureyoubyourfamilyconnection,

andstillmorebyourindissolublefriendship,togivehiman

hospitablereception,andtodetainhimforsometimeasyour

guest.Iflattermyselfthatyouwillsofarobligeme,andthat

mydelivererwillreceiveeverykindofpoliteattentionfrom

yourself,andmycousin,DonRaphael.Youraffectionatecousin,

DONNAMENCIA.

Burgos.

What!criedDonRaphael,castinghiseyesagainovertheletter,

isittothisgentlemanmykinswomanowesherhonourandher

life?Thenheavenbepraisedforthishappymeeting.Withthis

sortoflanguage,headvancedtowardsme;andsqueezingme

tightlyinhisarms:Whatjoytomeisit,addedhe,tohavethe

honourofseeingSignorGilBlasofSantillane!Mycousinthe

marchionesshadnoneedtopressthehospitality.Hadsheonly

toldussimplythatyouwerepassingthroughValladolid,that

wouldhavebeenenough.MysisterCamillaandIshallbeatno

losshowtoconductourselvestowardsayounggentlemanwhohas

conferredanobligation,nottoberepaid,onherofallour

familymosttenderlybelovedbyus.ImadethebestanswerI

couldtothesespeeches,whichwerefollowedbymanyothersof

thesamekind,andinterlardedwithathousandbowsandscrapes.

ButLordblessme,hehashisbootson!Theservantswereordered

in,totakethemofF.

Wenextwentintoanotherroom,wheretheclothwaslain.Downwe

satattable,thebrother,sister,andmyself.Theypaidmea

hundredcomplimentsduringsupper.Notawordescapedme,but

theymagnifieditintoanadmirablehit!Itwasimpossiblenotto

observetheassiduitywithwhichtheybothhelpedmeoutofevery

dish.DonRaphaeloftenpledgedmetoDonnaMencia’shealth.I

couldnotrefusethechallenge;anditlookedalittleasif

Camilla,whowasaverygoodcompanion,ogledatmewithno

questionablemeaning.IeventhoughtIcouldperceivethatshe

watchedheropportunity,asifshewasafraidofbeingdetected

byherbrother.Anoraclecouldnothaveconvincedmemorefirmly

thattheladywascaught;andIlookedforwardtoalittle

delicateamusementfromthediscovery,duringtheshorttimeI

wastostayatValladolid.Thathopewasmytemptertocomply

withtherequesttheymademe,ofcondescendingtopassafew

dayswiththem.Theythankedmekindlyforindulgingthemwithmy

company;andCamilla’srestrained,butvisibletransport,

confirmedmeintheopinionthatIwasnotaltogether

disagreeableinhereyes.

DonRaphael,findingIhadmadeupmymindtobehisguestfora

fewdays,proposedtotakemetohiscountryhouse.The

descriptionofitwasmagnificent,andtheroundofamusementshe

meditatedformewasnottobedescribed.Atonetime,saidhe,

wewilltakethediversionofthechase,atanotherthatof

fishing;andwheneveryouhaveamindforasaunter,wehave

charmingwoodsandgardens.Inaddition,weshallhaveagreeable

society.Iflattermyselfyouwillnotfindthetimehangheavy

onyourhands.Iacceptedtheinvitation,anditwasagreedthat

weshouldgotothisfinecountryhousethefollowingday.We

rosefromthetablewiththispleasantschemeinourmouths.Don

Raphaelseemedinecstacy.SignorGilBlas,saidhe,embracing

me,Ileaveyouwithmysister.Iamgoingpresentlytogivethe

necessaryorders,andsendinvitationsroundtothefamiliesI

wishtobeoftheparty.Withthesewordshesalliedforthfrom

theroomwhereweweresitting.Iwentonchattingwiththelady,

whosetopicsofdiscoursedidnotbelytheglancesofher

expressiveeyes.Shetookmebythehand,andplayingwithmy

ring,Youhaveamightyprettybrilliantthere,saidshe,butit

issmall.Areyouajudgeofjewellery?Ianswered,no!Iam

sorryforthat,resumedshe,becauseIwasinhopesyoucould

havetoldmewhatthisisworth.Assheutteredthesewords,she

showedmealargerubyonherfinger;and,whileIwaslookingat

it,said—Anuncleofmine,whowasgovernoroftheSpanish

settlementsinthePhilippineisles,gavemethisruby.The

jewellersatValladolidvalueitatthreehundredpistoles.It

cannotbeworthless,saidI,foritisevidentlyaveryfine

stone.Why,then,sinceyouhavetakenafancytoit,replied

she,anexchangeisnorobbery.Inatwinklingshewhiskedoffmy

ring,andplacedherownonmylittlefinger.Afterthis

exchange,agenteelwayenoughofmakingapresent,Camilla

pressedmyhandandgazedatmewithexpressivetenderness;then,

allatoncebreakingofftheconversation,wishedmegoodnight,

andretiredtohideherblushes,asifshehadbeenreadyto

sinkattheindiscreetavowalofhersentiments.

Noonehithertohadtrodlessinthepathsofgallantrythan

myself!YetIcouldnotshutmyeyestothevistavisionopened

tomebythisprecipitateretreat.Underthesecircumstances,a

countryexcursionmighthaveitscharms.Fullofthisflattering

idea,andintoxicatedwiththeprosperousconditionofmy

affairs,Ilockedmyselfintomybed-room,afterhavingtoldmy

servanttocallmebetimesinthemorning.Insteadofgoingto

sleep,Igavemyselfuptotheagreeablereflectionswhichmy

portmanteau,snuguponthetable,andmyrubyexcitedinmy

breast.Heavenbepraised,thoughtI,thoughmisfortuneshave

beenmylot,Iamunfortunatenolonger.Athousandducatshere,

aringofthreehundredpistoles’valuethere!Iamincashfora

considerabletime.IndeedMajuelowasnoflatterer,Isee

clearly.TheladiesofMadridwilltakefireliketouchwood,

sincethegreensticksofValladolidaresoinflammable.Thenthe

kindregardsofthegenerousCamillaarrayedthemselvesinall

theircharms,andItastedbyanticipationtheamusementsDon

Raphaelwaspreparingformeathisvilla.Inthemeanwhile,

amidsomanyimagesofpleasure,sleepwasonthewatchtostrew

hispoppiesonmycouch.AssoonasIfeltmyselfdrowsy,I

undressedandwenttobed.

Thenextmorning,whenIawoke,Ifounditratherlate.Itwas

oddenoughthatmyservantdidnotmakehisappearance,after

suchparticularorders.Ambrose,thoughtItomyself,mydevout

Ambroseiseitheratchurch,orabominablylazythismorning.But

Isoonletgothisopinionofhimtotakeupaworse;forgetting

outofbed,andseeingnoportmanteau,Isuspectedhimtohave

stolenitduringthenight.Toclearupmysuspicions,Iopened

mychamberdoor,andcalledthereligiousrascaloverandover

again.Anoldmananswered,saying—Whatisyourpleasure,

sir?Allyourfolksleftmyhousebeforedaybreak.Yourhouse!

Hownow!exclaimedI;amInotunderDonRaphael’sroof?Idonot

knowthegentleman,saidhe.Youareinaready-furnished

lodging,andIamthelandlord.Yesterdayevening,anhourbefore

yourarrival,theladywhosuppedwithyoucamehither,and

engagedthissuiteofapartmentsforanoblemanofhighrank,

travellingincognito,asshecalledit.Shepaidmebeforehand.I

wasnowinthesecret.Itwasplainenoughwhatsortofpeople

CamillaandDonRaphaelwere;andIconjecturedthatmyservant,

havingwormedhimselfintoacompleteknowledgeofmyconcerns,

hadbetrayedmetotheseimpostors.Insteadofblamingmyselffor

thissadaccident,andconsideringthatitcouldneverhave

happenedbutformyindiscretioninsounnecessarilybetrayingmy

confidencetoMajuelo,Igavebadlanguagetothepoorharmless

damefortune,andcursedmyillstarinahundreddifferent

formularies.Themasteroftheready-furnishedlodging,towhomI

relatedtheadventure,whichperhapswasasmuchhisasmine,

showedsomelittleoutwardsensibilitytomyaffliction.He

lamentedoverme,andprotestedhewasdeeplymortifiedthatsuch

aplayshouldhavebeenactedinhishouse;butIverilybelieve,

notwithstandinghisfinewords,thathehadanequalsharein

thecheatwithminehostatBurgos,towhomIhaveneverdenied

themeritofsoingeniousaninvention.

CH.XVII.—ThemeasuresGilBlastookaftertheadventureof

theready-furnishedlodging.

AFTERthefirsttransportsofmygriefwereover,Ibeganto

consider,thatinsteadofgivingwaytoremorse,Ioughtrather

tobearupagainstmyillfate.Isummonedbackmyresolution,

and,bywayofcomfort,saidtomyselfasIwasdressing—Iam

stillinluckthattheknaveshavenotcarriedoffmyclothesand

whatlittlemoneyIhadinmypocket.Igavethemsomecreditfor

beingsoconsiderate.Theyhadevenbeengenerousenoughtoleave

memyboots,whichIpartedwithtothelandlordforathirdof

theircost.AtlastIsalliedoutoftheready-furnishedlodging,

unencumbered,heavenbepraised,withbaggageorattendance.The

firstthingIdidwastogoandseeifmymuleswerestillatthe

innwherewealightedtheeveningbefore.Itwasnottobe

supposedthatAmbrosewouldhaveneglectedadueattentionto

them;anditwouldhavebeenwellformeifIhadalwaystaken

suchexactmeasureofhischaracter.Ilearnedthathehadnot

waitedforthemorning,buthadbeencarefultofetchthemby

over-night.Underthecircumstances,satisfiedIshouldneversee

themagain,anymorethanmyportmanteau,Iwalkedsulkilyalong

thestreets,musingonthefutureplansIshouldadopt.Iwas

temptedtogobacktoBurgos,andoncemorehaverecourseto

DonnaMencia;but,regardingthisasanabuseofthatlady’s

goodness,andbeingaware,moreover,whatafoolIshouldlook

like,Ithoughtitbesttoforegothatidea.Imadeavowtoofor

thefuturetobeonmyguardagainstwomen.Icouldhavesentthe

chasteSusannatothehouseofcorrection.Fromtimetotimemy

ringcaughtmyeye,itwasapresentfromCamilla!andIwas

readytoburstwithanguish.Alas!thoughtI,Iamnojudgeof

jewellery,butIshallbe,byexperienceofthesehucksterswho

exchangewithoutarobbery.Ineednotgotoajewellertobe

toldIamanass!Icanseemyownfaceinmyruby.

YetIdidnotneglecttoknowthetruthrespectingthevalueof

myring,andshowedittoalapidary,whorateditatthree

ducats.Atsuchanestimate,thoughasmuchasIexpected,Imade

aformalsurrendertothedevil,ofthePhilippineisles,the

governorandhisniece;orrather,Ionlyrestoredhisown

subjectstotheirlawfulsovereign.AsIwasgoingoutofthe

lapidary’sshopayoungfellowbrushedbyme,andonlooking

round,madeafullstop.Icouldnotrecollecthisnameatfirst,

thoughhisfeatureswereperfectlyfamiliartome.Hownow,Gil

Blas,saidhe,areyouashamedofanoldacquaintance?orhave

twoyearssoalteredthesonofNunezthebarber,thatyoudonot

knowhim?DonotyourecollectFabricio,yourtownsmanand

schoolfellow?Howoftenhavewekept,beforeDoctorGodinez,upon

universalsandmetaphysics!

Thesewordsdidnotflowsofastasmyrecollection,andwe

embracedwithmutualgoodwill.Well,myfriend,resumedhe,Iam

overjoyedtomeetwithyou.Wordsfallshort—Buthowisthis?

Why,youlooklike—asheavenismyjudge,youaredressed

likeagrandee!Agentleman’ssword,silkstockings,avelvet

doubletandcloak,embroideredwithsilver!Plaguetakeit!this

isgettingonintheworldwithavengeance.Iwilllayawager

youareinwithsomeoldmoniedharridan.Youreckonwithoutyour

host,saidI,myaffairsarenotsoprosperousasyouimagine.

Thatwillnotdoforme,repliedhe,Iknowbetterthings;but

youhaveamindtobeclose.Andthatfinerubyonyourfinger,

masterGilBlas,whencecomesthat,ifImaybesobold?It

comes,quothI,fromaninfernaljade.Fabricio,mydear

Fabricio,farfrombeingpoint,quint,andquatorzewiththe

ladiesofValladolid,youaretoknow,myfriend,thatIamtheir

completebubble.

Iutteredtheselastwordssoruefully,thatFabriciosawplainly

thatsometrickhadbeenplayeduponme.Hewasanxioustolearn

whyIwasoutofhumourwiththelovelysex.Ihadnodifficulty

insatisfyinghiscuriosity;butasthestorywasalongone,and

besideswehadnomindtopartinahurry,wewentintoacoffee-housetobealittlemoreatease.ThereIrecountedtohim,

duringbreakfast,allthathadhappenedtomesincemydeparture

fromOviedo.Myadventureshethoughtwhimsicalenough;and

testifyinghissympathyinmypresentuneasycircumstances,added

—Wemustmakethebest,mygoodlad,ofallourmisfortunesin

thislife.Isamanofpartsindistress?hewaitspatientlyfor

betterluck.Suchanone,asCicerotrulyobserves,neversuffers

himselftobehumbledsolow,astoforgetthatheisaman.For

myownpart,thatisjustmycharacter;inoroutoffavourthere

isnosinkingme;Ialwaysfloatonthesurfaceofill-luck.For

example,IwasinlovewithagirlofsomefamilyatOviedo,and

wasbelovedbyherinreturn.Iaskedherofherfatherin

marriage,herefused.Manyayoungfellowwouldhavediedof

grief;butno!markmyspirit,Icarriedoffthelittlebaggage.

Shewaslively,heedless,andcoquettish:pleasureconsequently

wasalwaysuppermosttotheprejudiceofduty.Itookherwithme

forsixmonthsbackwardsandforwardsaboutGalicia;thence,

adoptingmytastefortravelling,shehadamindtogoto

Portugal,butinothercompany—morefoodfordespair.YetI

didnotgiveinundertheweightofthisnewaffliction;but,

improvingonMenelaus,thoughtmyselfmuchobligedtotheParis

whohadwhisperedintheearofmyHelen,forriddingmeofabad

bargain;Ithereforedeterminedtokeepthepeace.Afterthat,

notfindingitconvenienttoreturntotheAsturiasandbalance

accountswithjustice,IwentforwardintothekingdomofLeon,

spendingbetweenonetownandanotheralltheloosecash

remainingfromtherapeofmyIndianprincess;forwehadbothof

usbirdlimedourfingersatourdeparturefromOviedo.Igotto

Palenciawithasolitaryducat,outofwhichIwasobligedtobuy

apairofshoes.Theremainderwouldnotgofar.Mysituation

becameratherperplexing.Ibeganalreadytobereducedtoshort

allowance;somethingmustbedone.Iresolvedtogooutto

service.Myfirstplacewaswithawoollen-draperinalargeway,

whosesonwasaladofwitandfashion;herewasacomplete

antidotetofasting,butthentherewasalittleawkwardness.The

fatherorderedmetodogtheson,thesonbeggedmyassistancein

imposingonthefather;itwasnecessarytotakeonesideor

other.Entreatiessoundmoremusicalthancommands,andmytaste

formusicgotmeturnedoutofdoors.ThenextserviceIentered

intowaswithanoldpainter,whoundertook,asamatterof

favour,toteachmetheprinciplesofhisart;buthewassobusy

infeedingmewithknowledge,thatheforgottogivemeanymeat.

Thisneglectofsubstanceforshadowdisgustedmewithmyabode

atPalencia.IcametoValladolid,where,bythegreatestgood

luckintheworld,Iwashiredbyagovernorofthehospital;I

amwithhimstill,anddelightedwithmyquarters.Mymaster,

SignorManuelOrdonnez,isamanofprofoundpiety.Healways

walkswithhiseyescastdownwards,andalargerosaryinhis

hand.Theysaythatfromhisearlyyouth,havingbeenaclose

inspectorofthepoor,hehasinterestedhimselfintheiraffairs

withunweariedzeal.Charitydrawsdownablessingonthe

charitable,everythinghasprosperedwithhim.Whatafavourite

ofheaven!Themorehedoesforthepoor,thericherhegrows.

AsFabriciowasgoingoninthismanner,Iinterruptedhim.Itis

wellyouaresatisfiedwithyourlot;but,betweenourselves,

surelyyoumightplayyourpartbetterintheworld.Donotyou

believeit,GilBlas,repliedhe;beassuredthatforamanofmy

temperamoreagreeablesituationcouldnotpossiblyhavebeen

devised.Thetradeofalacqueyistoilsome,tobesure,fora

poorcreature;butforaladofspirititisallenchantment.A

superiorgenius,whenhegetsaservice,doesnotgoaboutit

likealumpishsimpleton.Heentersintoafamilyasviceroyover

themaster,notasaninferiorminister.Hebeginsbymeasuring

thelengthofhisemployer’sfoot;bylendinghimselftohis

weaknesses,hegainshisconfidence,andendswithleadinghimby

thenose.Suchhasbeenmyplanofoperationatthegovernor’s.I

knewthepilgrimatoncebyhisstaff;hiswishwasforan

earthlycanonization.Ipretendedtobelievehimtobethesaint

hewishedtobetakenfor,hypocrisycostsnothing.Nay,Iwent

further,forItookpatternbyhim;andplayingthesamepart

beforehimwhichheplayedbeforeothers,Iout-cozenedthe

cozener,andbydegreesgottobemajor-domo.Iaminhopessome

dayorother,underhiswing,tohavethefingeringofthepoor-box.Itmaybringablessinguponmeaswellasanother;forI

havecaughttheflamefromhim,andalreadyfeeldeeplyforthe

interestsofcharity.

Thesearefinehopes,mydearFabricio,repliedI;andI

congratulateyouuponthem.Formypart,Iamdeterminedonmy

firstplan.Ishallstraightwayconvertmyembroideredsuitinto

acassock,repairtoSalamanca,andthere,enlistingunderthe

banneroftheuniversity,fulfilthesacreddutiesofatutor.A

finescheme!exclaimedFabricio,apleasantconceit!What

madness,atyourage,toturnpedant!Areyouaware,youstupid

fellow,whatyoutakeuponyourselfbythatchoice?Assoonas

youaresettled,allthehousewillbeuponthewatch,yourmost

trivialactionswillbeminutelysifted.Youwillleadalifeof

incessantconstraint;youmustsetyourselfoffwitha

counterfeitoutside,andaffecttoentertainadoublesetofthe

cardinalvirtuesinyourbosom.Youwillnothaveamomentto

bestowonpleasure.Theeverlastingcensorofyourpupil,your

dayswillpassinteachinggrammarandadministeringsaintly

reprehension,whenheshallsayordoanythingagainstdecorum.

Aftersomuchlabourandconfinement,whatwillbeyourreward?

Ifthelittlegentlemanisapickle,theywilllayalltheblame

onyourbadmanagement;andyouwillbekickedoutofthefamily,

itmaybewithoutyourstipend.Donottellmethenofatutor’s

employment;itisworsethanacureofsouls.Buttalkasmuchas

youwillaboutalacquey’soccupation,thatisasinecure,and

pledgesyoutonothing.Supposeone’smasternottobe

immaculate?Aservantofsuperiorgeniuswillflatterhisvices,

andnotunfrequentlyturnthemtoaccount.Afootmanlivesathis

easeinagoodfamily.Afterhavingateanddrankhisfill,he

goestobedpeaceably,withouttroublinghimselfwhopaysthe

bills.

Ishouldneverhavedone,mydearfellow,pursuedhe,wereIto

enumeratealltheadvantagesofservice.Trustme,GilBlas,

discardforeveryourfoolishwishofbeingatutor,andfollow

myexample.Sobeit:but,Fabricio,repliedI,governorslike

yoursarenottobemetwitheveryday;andifresolvedtogoto

service,Ishouldlikeatleasttogetagoodsituation.Oh!you

areintheright,saidhe,andthatshallbemyconcern.Iwill

getyouacomfortableplace,ifitwereonlytosnatchafine

fellowfromthejawsoftheuniversity.

ThenearapproachofpovertywithwhichIwasthreatened,and

Fabricio’sapparentgoodcase,havingmoreweightwithmethan

hisarguments,Ideterminedtowearalivery.Onwhichwesallied

forthfromthetavern,andmytownsmansaid:Iamgoingto

introduceyoutoaman,towhommostoftheservantsresortwhen

theyareontheramble;hehaseaves-droppersabouthimtopick

upallthatpassesinfamilies.Heknowsatoncewherethe

servantsaregoingaway,andkeepsacorrectregister,notonly

ofvacantplaces,butofvacantmasters,withtheirgoodandbad

properties.Thefellowhasbeenafriarinsomeconventorother.

Inshort,heitwaswhogotmemyplace.

Whilewewereconversingaboutsosingularanofficeof

intelligence,thesonofNunezthebarbertookmeintoastreet

whichhadnothoroughfare.Wewentintoameanhouse,wherewe

foundamanaboutfiftywritingatatable.Wewishedhimgood

day,withquiteasmuchhumilityasbecameus:but,whetherit

wasfromnaturalpride,orthat,fromahabitofseeingnonebut

lacqueysandcoachmen,hehadgotatrickofreceivinghis

companywithaneasyfreedom,withoutrisingfromhisseat,he

justgaveaslightnod.Heseemedsurprisedthatayoungmanin

embroideredvelvetshouldwantaplace;hehadratherexpectedme

tohavewantedaservant.However,hewasnotkeptlongindoubt,

sinceFabriciosaidatonce:SignorAriasdeLondona,giveme

leavetointroduceoneofmybestfriends.Heisayouthofgood

connections,whomadversecircumstanceshavereducedtothe

necessityofgoingtoservice.Havethegoodnesstoprovidefor

himhandsomely,andyoumaytrusttohisgratitude.Gentlemen,

repliedAriascoolly,thisisthewaywithyouall;beforeyou

aresettled,youmakethefinestpromisesintheworld:but

afterwards,Lordhelpus!yourmemoriesareveryshort.The

deuce!repliedFabricio,whyyoudonotcomplainofme?Havenot

Idonethethinggenteelly?Yououghttohavedoneitmuch

better,rejoinedArias:yourplaceisbetterthanaclerkina

publicoffice,andyoupaidmeasifIhadquarteredyouupona

poorauthor.HereIinterfered,andtoldMasterArias,thatto

convincehimIwasnotashabbyfellow,Iwouldmakemy

acknowledgmentsbeforehand;atthesametimetakingouttwo

ducats,withanassuranceofnotstoppingthereifhegotmeinto

agoodberth.

Heseemedtolikemymodeofdealing.Thereare,saidhe,some

verygoodplacesvacant.Iwillgiveyoualistofthem,andyou

shalltakeyourchoice.Withthesewords,heputonhis

spectacles,openedaregisteronthetable,turnedoverafewof

theleaves,andbeganreadingtothiseffect:CaptainTorbellino

wantsafootman;ahasty,hair-brained,humoursomechap;scolds

incessantly,swears,kickshisservants,andveryoftencripples

them.Goontothenext,criedI,atthispicture;suchacaptain

willneverdoforme.MysprightlinessmadeAriassmile,andhe

wentonwithhiscataloguethus:DonnaManueladeSandoval,a

superannuateddowager,peevishandfantastical,isinwantat

thisverytime;shekeepsbutone,andhimneverforfour-and-twentyhours.Therehasbeenaliveryinthehousefortheseten

years,whichfitseverynew-corner,whethertallorshort.They

onlyjusttryiton;sothatitisasgoodasnewthoughithas

hadtwothousandowners.DoctorAlvarFanezwantsajourneyman;

aneminentmemberofthefaculty!Heboardshisfamilyvery

handsomely,haseverythingcomfortableabouthim,andgivesvery

highwages;butheisalittletoofondofexperiments.Whenhe

getsaparcelofbaddrugs,whichhappensveryoften,thereisa

prettyquicksuccessionofnewservants.

Oh!Idonotintheleastdoubtit,interruptedFabriciowitha

horse-laugh.Uponmyword,yougivemeafinecharacterofyour

customers.Patience,saidAriasdeLondona;wehavenotyetgot

totheend:thereisvarietyenough.Thereuponhecontinuedto

readon:DonnaAlfonsadeSolis,anolddevotee,wholivestwo-thirdsofhertimeatchurch,andalwayskeepsherservantather

apronstring,hasbeeninwantforthesethreeweeks.The

LicentiateS�dillo,anoldprebendaryofthechapterhere,turned

awayhisservantyesterdayeveningHaltthere,SignorArias

deLondona,criedFabricioatthatpassage;wewillsticktothe

church.TheLicentiateS�dilloisoneofmymaster’sfriends,and

Iamverywellacquaintedwithhim.Iknowhehasforhis

housekeeperanoldhypocrite,calledDameJacintha,whois

completemistressofthefamily.Itisoneofthebesthousesin

Valladolid.Averyidlelife,andplentyofexcellentmeatand

drink.Besides,hisreverenceisanold,gouty,infirmman,

likelysoontomakehiswill:thereisalegacytobelooked

after.Thatisadelightfulprospectforoneofourcloth!Gil

Blas,addedhe,turningroundtome,letuslosenotime,my

friend,butgoimmediatelytothelicentiate’shouse.Iwill

introduceyoumyself,andgiveyouacharacter.Atthesewords,

forfearofmissingsuchanopportunity,wetookahastyleaveof

SignorArias,whoassuredme,formymoney,thatifIfailed

here,hewoulddosomethingasgoodformeelsewhere.

BOOKTHESECOND.

CH.I.—FabriciointroducesGilBlastotheLicentiateS�dillo,

andprocureshimareception.Thedomesticeconomyofthat

clergyman.Pictureofhishousekeeper.

WEweresodreadfullyafraidofoffendingagainsttheregular

hoursoftheoldlicentiate,thatwemadebutahop,skip,and

jump,fromthestreetwithoneoutlet,totheprebendal

residence.Thegateswerebarred:butweventuredtoannounceour

arrival.Agirloftenyearsold,thehousekeeper’sprofessed

niece,andslandercouldnotgainsaytherelationship,openedthe

doortous.Asweaskedtospeakwithhisreverence,Dame

Jacinthamadeherappearance.Shewasaladyofripepersonand

parts,butbynomeanspastherprime;andIwasparticularly

attractedbytheclearnessofhercomplexion.Sheworealong

woollengownofthemostordinaryquality,withalargeleathern

girdle,whencehungsuspendedabunchofkeysononeside,andon

theotheratremendousstringofbeads.Assoonaswegota

glimpseofher,wemadeourobeisanceswithallpossible

reverence.Shereturnedoursalutationwithsimilargood

breeding,butwithanairofmodesty,andeyescommuningwiththe

ground.

Ihavebeentold,saidmyfellowservant,thatthereverendthe

LicentiateS�dillowantsanhonestlad,andIhaveoneathis

servicewithwhomhewillbewellsatisfied.Thesuperintendent

ofthehouseholdturneduphereyesatthesewordswitha

significantsideglanceatme;and,findingitdifficultto

reconcilemylacedjacketwithFabricio’sexordium,askedifit

wasthisfinegentlemanwhowascomeaftertheplace.Yes,said

thesonofNunez,itisthisinterestingandengagingyouth.Just

asyouseehim,theupsanddownsofthistransitorylifehave

compelledhimtowearanepaulette:butfatewillhavemadehim

ampleamends,addedhewithanaffectedlanguish,ifheisso

happyastobeaninmatehere,andtoprofitbythesocietyof

thevirtuousJacintha.ThepatriarchoftheIndiesmighthave

sighedforthevirtuousJacinthaattheheadofhis

establishment.Atthesewords,thiswitheredbranchofpiety

withdrewherpenetratingregardsfromme,tocontemplatethis

courteousspokesman.Struckwithcertainlineswhichwerenotnew

toher,inhisface,Ihavesomefloatingideaofhavingseenyou

before,saidshe;butmymemorywantsalift.HolyJacintha,

repliedFabricio,itisenoughformetohavebeenblessedwith

yourpiousnotice.TwicehaveIbeenunderthisvenerableroof

withmymaster,SignorManuelOrdonnez,governorofthehospital.

Ah!justso,answeredtheladychamberlain,Irecollect!Youare

anoldacquaintance.Well-a-daynow!Yourverybelongingto

SignorOrdonnezisenoughtoproveyouayouthofmeritand

strictpropriety.Aservantisknownbyhisplace,andthislad

couldnothavehadabettersponsor.Comealongwithme;Iwill

introduceyoutoSignorS�dillo.Iamsurehewillbegladto

engagealadatyourrecommendation.

WefollowedDameJacintha.Thecanonlivedinthelowerpartof

thehouse,inacomfortablesuiteofwainscottedapartments.She

beggedustowaitamomentintheanti-chamber,whileshewent

intothelicentiate’sroom.Aftersomeprivateparleywithhim,

merelythathemightknowwhathewasabout,shecametotellus

wemightwalkin.Wekennedtheoldcripple,immersedinanelbow

chair,withapillowunderhishead,cushionsunderhisarms,and

hislegssupportedonalargestool,stuffedwithdown.Wewere

noniggardsofourbowsasweadvanced;andFabricio,still

takingthelead,notonlyrepeatedoveragainwhathehadsaidto

thehousekeeper,butsetaboutextollingmymerit,andexpatiated

inanespecialmanneronthehonoursIhadgainedintheschools

underDoctorGodinezonallmetaphysicalquestions:asifitwas

necessaryforaprebendary’sfootmantobeaslearnedashis

master.Howeverthatmightbe,itservedasatubtothewhale.

Besides,DameJacinthadidnotlookforbidding,andmysurety

receivedthefollowinganswer:Friend,Ireceiveintomyservice

theladyourecommend.Ilikehimwellenough;andasforhis

morals,theycannotbemuchamiss,sincehepresentshimself

underthewingofadomesticbelongingtoSignorOrdonnez.

AssoonasFabriciosawmesafelanded,hemadealowbowtothe

prebendary,astilllowertothelady,andwithdrewinhighgood

humour,whisperinginmyearthatweshouldmeetagain,andthat

Ihadonlytomakegoodmyfooting.Assoonashehadleftthe

room,thelicentiateinquiredmyname,whyIhadleftmynative

place;anddrewmeonbyhisquestionstorelatemyadventures

beforeDameJacintha.Theywerebothhighlyamused,aboveallby

mylastrencounter.CamillaandDonRaphaelgavesuchplayto

theirrisiblemuscles,thatIthoughtoldchalkstonewouldhave

burst:for,ashelaughedwithallhismight,soviolentacough

laidholdofhim,aswentveryneartohavecarriedhimoff.His

willwasnotmade.Whatanalarmforthehousekeeper!Trembling,

distracted,offsheflewtothegoodman’ssuccour,andjustlike

anursewithapukingchild,paddledabouthisforeheadand

tappedhimontheback.Luckilyitwasafalsealarm;theold

gentlemanleftoffcoughing,andthehousekeepertormentinghim.

Whenitwasover,Iwasforgoingonwithmynarrative;butDame

Jacintha,inaweofasecondfit,setherselfagainstit.She

thereforetookmewithheroutoftheroomtoawardrobe,where,

amongseveralsuits,wasthatofmypredecessor.ThisIwasto

take,andleavemyowninitsroom,whichIwasnotsorrytosee

laidupsafe,inthehopeitmightbeoffurtheruse.Afterthis,

wewenttogethertogetdinnerready.

IknewwhatIwasaboutintheartofdressingmeat.Dame

Leonarda,withwhomIhadservedmytime,mighthavepassedfora

verydecentplaincook;butamereturnspittodameJacintha.The

lattermightalmosthaveborneawaythebellfromthearchbishop

ofToledo’sman.Shewasmistressofeverything;gravysoups,of

themostdelicioustextureandrelish;and,formadedishes,she

couldseasonthemuporsoftenthemdowntothemostdelicateor

voluptuouspalate.Atdinner-timewereturnedtohisreverence’s

apartment.WhileIwasarrangingthegrandconcernclosebyhis

arm-chair,theladyofallworkcrammedanapkinundertheold

boy’schin,andpinneditbehindhisback.Withoutlosinga

moment,inmarchedIwithastew,fittobesetbeforethefirst

gourmandinMadrid,andtwocourses,tohavetickledthegillsof

aviceroy,onlythatDameJacinthahadtouchedthespice-boxwith

discretion,forfearofexasperatingthegout.Atthefirst

glimpseofthisgoodlymess,myoldmaster,whomIconceivedto

havelosttheuseofhislimbs,mademetounderstandthathis

armswereexemptedfromtheinterdictHeavailedhimselfoftheir

assistance,togetclearofhispillowandcushions,and

proceededgailytotheattack.Hishandshook,tobesure;but

somehoworotheritcontrivedtodoitsduty.Hesentit

backwardsandforwardsfastenough;thoughitbroughtbuthalf

itscargotothelanding-placeatalading:thetableclothand

napkintooktoll.Icarriedoffthesoupwhenhehaddone,and

broughtinapartridgeflankedbytworoastquails,whichDame

Jacinthacutupforhim.Shetookcaretomakehimtakeagood

draughtofwine,alittleloweredatproperintervals,outofa

large,deep,silvercup,whichsheheldtohismouth,asifhe

hadbeenaninfant.Hewingedthepartridge,andcamedownslap-dashuponalltherestofthedishes.Whenhehaddonecramming,

thatsaintofthesaucepanunpinnedhisnapkin,reinstatedhis

pillowandcushions;then,leavinghimcomposedinhisarm-chair

totheenjoymentofhisusualnapafterdinner,wetookaway,and

demolishedtheremainderwithappetitesworthyofourmaster.

Thedinnerofto-daywastheordinarybilloffare.Ourcanon

playedthebestknifeandforkinthechapter.Butthesupperwas

amerebauble;seldommorethanachickenandalittle

confectionery.Ilardedmyinsideinthishouse,andledagood

easylife.Therewasbutoneawkwardcircumstance;andthatwas

sittingupwithmymaster,tosavetheexpenseofanurse.

Besidesastrangury,whichkepthimonthefidgettentimesinan

hour,hewasverymuchgiventoperspire;andinthatevent,I

shiftedhim.GilBlas,saidhe,onthesecondnight,youarean

active,cleverfellow;Iforeseethatweshalljogonverywell

together.IonlyjustgiveyouahinttokeepinwithDame

Jacintha;thegirlhasbeenaboutmeforthesefifteenyears,and

managesallmylittlematters;shecomfortsmyoutwardman,andI

cannotdotoomuchforher.Forthatreason,youaretoknow,

thatsheismoretomethanallmyfamily.Thereismynephew,my

ownsister’sson;why,Ihaveturnedhimoutofdoors,onlyto

pleaseher.Hehadnoregardforthepoorlass:andsofarfrom

givinghercreditforallherlittleassiduities,thesaucy

rascalsworeshedidnotcareafarthingforme!Butnow-a-days,

youngpeoplethinkvirtueandgratitudeallafarce.Heavenbe

praised,Iamridofthevarlet.Whatclaimhasblood,in

comparisonwithunquestionableattachment?Iaminfluencedbya

give-and-takeprincipleinmyconnections.Youareright,sir,

repliedI;gratitudeoughttobethefirstthing,andnatural

affectionthelast.Ay!resumedhe;andmywillshallbea

commentonthattext.Myhousekeepershallberesiduarylegatee;

andyoushallhaveacornerinacodicil,ifyougoonaswellas

youhavebegun.ThefootmanIturnedoffyesterdayhaslosta

goodlegacy,bynotknowingwheretohittherightnailonthe

head.Iftheblockheadhadnotobligedme,byhisillbehaviour,

tosendhimpacking,Iwouldhavemadeamanofhim:butthe

beggaronhorsebackgavehimselfairstoDameJacintha!Then

masterlazy-bonesdidnotlikesittingup!Imightpassthenight

asIcould,providedhehadnotroublewithme.Oh!theunfeeling

scoundrel!exclaimedI,inthetruespiritofFabricio,hewas

notamantobeaboutsogoodamaster.Theladforyourmoney

shouldbeahumble,butconfidentialfriend;heshouldnotmakea

toilofwhatoughttobeapleasure,butthinknothingofgoing

throughfireandwaterforyourease.

Theseprofessionswerenotlostuponthelicentiate.Neitherwere

myassurancesofduesubmissiontoDameJacintha’sauthorityless

acceptable.Puffingmyselfoffforaservant,whowasnotafraid

ofwork,IgotthroughmybusinessascheerfullyasIcould.I

nevercomplainedofmynursery.Thoughtobesureitwasirksome

enough;andifthelegacyhadnotsettledmystomach,Ishould

havesickenedatthenatureofmyemployment.ItistrueIgot

somehours’restduringtheday.Thehousekeeper,todoher

justice,waskindenoughtome;owingtotheinsinuatingmanner

inwhichIwormedmyselfintohergoodgraces.Supposemeat

table,withherandhernieceIn�silla!Ichangedtheirplates,

filledtheirglasses,neverthoughtofmyowndinnerbeforethey

hadeverythingtheywanted.Thiswasthewaytothriveintheir

esteem.OnedaywhenDameJacinthawasgonetomarket,finding

myselfalonewithIn�silla,Ibegantomakemyselfagreeable.

Wereherfatherandmotheralive?Oh!no,answeredshe;theyhave

beendeadthislong,longtime;formygoodauntsaystheyhave,

andIhaveneverseenthem.Ireligiouslybelievedthelittle

innocent,thoughheranswerwasnotoftheclearest;andshegot

intosuchanhumouroftalking,astotellmemorethanIwanted

toknow.Sheinformedme,orratherIinferreditfromher

artlesssimplicity,thathergoodaunthadagoodfriend,who

livedlikewisewithanoldcanon.Thetemporalitiesofthechurch

wereunderhisadministration;andtheseluckydomesticsreckoned

uponentwiningthespoilsoftheirmastersroundthepillarsof

thehymenealtemple,intowhosesanctuarytheyhadpenetratedby

anticipation.DameJacintha,asIhavesaidbefore,thougha

littlestrickeninyears,hadstillsomebloom.Tobesure,she

sparednopainstocherishit:besidesdailyevacuations,she

tookplentifuldosesofall-powerfuljelly.Shegothersleepin

thenighttoo,whileIsatupwithmymaster.Butwhatperhaps

contributedmosttothefreshnessofthiseverlastingflower,was

anissueineachleg,ofwhichIshouldneverhaveknown,butfor

thatblabIn�silla.

CH.II.—Thecanon’sillness;histreatment;theconsequence;

thelegacytoGilBlas.

ISTAIDthreemonthswiththeLicentiateS�dillo,without

complainingofbadnights.Attheendofthattimehefellsick.

Thedistemperwasafever;anditinflamedthegoutForthefirst

timeinhislife,whichhadbeenlong,hecalledinaphysician.

DoctorSangradowassentfor;theHippocratesofValladolid.Dame

Jacinthawasforsendingforthelawyerfirst,andtouchedthat

string;butthepatientthoughtitwastimeenough,andhada

littlewillofhisownuponsomepoints.AwayIwenttherefore

forDoctorSangrado;andbroughthimwithme.Atall,withered,

wanexecutionerofthesistersthree,whohaddonealltheir

justiceforatleastthesefortyyears!Thislearnedforerunner

oftheundertakerhadanaspectsuitedtohisoffice:hiswords

wereweighedtoascruple;andhisjargonsoundedgrandinthe

earsoftheuninitiated.Hisargumentsweremathematical

demonstrations:andhisopinionshadthemeritoforiginality.

Afterstudyingmymaster’ssymptoms,hebeganwithmedical

solemnity:Thequestionhereis,toremedyanobstructed

perspiration.Ordinarypractitioners,inthiscase,wouldfollow

theoldroutineofsalines,diuretics,volatilesalts,sulphur

andmercury;butpurgesandsudorificsareadeadlypractice!

Chemicalpreparationsareedgedtoolsinthehandsofthe

ignorant.Mymethodsaremoresimple,andmoreefficacious.What

isyourusualdiet?Iliveprettymuchuponsoups,repliedthe

canon,andeatmymeatwithagooddealofgravy.Soupsand

gravy!exclaimedthepetrifieddoctor.Uponmyword,itisno

wonderyouareill.Highlivingisapoisonedbait;atrapsetby

sensuality,tocutshortthedaysofwretchedman.Wemusthave

donewithpamperingourappetites:themoreinsipid,themore

wholesome.Thehumanbloodisnotagravy!Whythenyoumustgive

itsuchanourishmentaswillassimilatewiththeparticlesof

whichitiscomposed.Youdrinkwine,Iwarrantyou?Yes,said

thelicentiate,butdiluted.Oh!finelydiluted,Idaresay,

rejoinedthephysician.Thisislicentiousnesswithavengeance!

Afrightfulcourseoffeeding!Why,yououghttohavediedyears

ago.Howoldareyou?Iaminmysixty-ninthyear,repliedthe

canon.SoIthought,quoththepractitioner,aprematureoldage

isalwaystheconsequenceofintemperance.Ifyouhadonlydrank

clearwaterallyourlife,andhadbeencontentedwithplain

food,boiledapplesforinstance,youwouldnothavebeena

martyrtothegout,andyourlimbswouldhaveperformedtheir

functionswithlubricity.ButIdonotdespairofsettingyouon

yourlegsagain,providedyougiveyourselfuptomymanagement.

Thelicentiatepromisedtobeuponhisgoodbehaviour.

Sangradothensentmeforasurgeonofhisownchoosing,andtook

fromhimsixgoodporringersofblood,bywayofabeginning,to

remedythisobstinateobstruction.Hethensaidtothesurgeon;

MasterMartinOnez,youwilltakeasmuchmorethreehourshence,

andto-morrowyouwillrepeattheoperation.Itisamerevulgar

error,thatthebloodisofanyuseinthesystem;thefasteryou

drawitoffthebetter.Apatienthasnothingtodobuttokeep

himselfquiet;withhim,toliveismerelynottodie;hehasno

moreoccasionforbloodthanamaninatrance;inbothcases,

lifeconsistsexclusivelyinpulsationandrespiration.Whenthe

doctorhadorderedthesefrequentandcopiousbleedings,headded

adrenchofwarmwateratveryshortintervals,maintainingthat

waterinsufficientquantitieswasthegrandsecretinthe

materiamedica.Hethentookhisleave,tellingDameJacinthaand

me,withanairofconfidence,thathewouldanswerforthe

patient’slife,ifhissystemwasfairlypursued.The

housekeeper,thoughprotestingsecretlyagainstthisnew

practice,bowedtohissuperiorauthority.Infact,wesetonthe

kettlesinahurry;and,asthephysicianhaddesiredusabove

allthingstogivehimenough,webeganwithpouringdowntwoor

threepintsatasmanygulps.Anhourafterwebesethimagain;

then,returningtotheattacktimeaftertime,wefairlypoureda

delugeintohispoorstomachThesurgeon,ontheotherhand,

takingoutthebloodasweputinthewater,wereducedtheold

canontodeath’sdoorinlessthantwodays.

Thisvenerableecclesiastic,abletoholditoutnolonger,asI

pledgedhiminalargeglassofhisnewcordial,saidtomeina

faintvoice—Hold,GilBlas,donotgivemeanymore,my

friend.Itisplaindeathwillcomewhenhewillcome,inspite

ofwater;and,thoughIhavehardlyadropofbloodinmyveins,

Iamnobetterforgettingridoftheenemy.Theablestphysician

intheworldcandonothingforus,whenourtimeisexpired.

Fetchanotary;Iwillmakemywill.Attheselastwords,

pleasingenoughtomyfancy,Iaffectedtoappearunhappy;and

concealingmyimpatiencetobegone:Sir,saidI,youarenot

reducedsolow,thankGod,butyoumayyetrecover.No,no,

interruptedhe,mygoodfellow,itisallover.Ifeelthegout

shifting,andthehandofdeathisuponme.Makehaste,andgo

whereItoldyou.Isaw,sureenough,thathechangedevery

moment:andthecasewassourgent,thatIranasfastasI

could,leavinghiminDameJacintha’scare,whowasmoreafraid

thanmyselfofhisdyingwithoutawill.Ilaidholdofthefirst

notaryIcouldfind;Sir,saidI,theLicentiateS�dillo,my

master,isdrawingnearhisend;hewantstosettlehisaffairs;

thereisnotamomenttobelost.Thenotarywasadapperlittle

fellow,wholovedhisjoke;andinquiredwhowasourphysician.

AtthenameofDoctorSangrado,hurryingonhiscloakandhat:

Formercy’ssake!criedhe,letussetoffwithallpossible

speed;forthisdoctordispatchesbusinesssofast,thatour

fraternitycannotkeeppacewithhim.Thatfellowspoilshalfmy

jobs.

Withthissarcasm,hesetforwardingoodearnest,and,aswe

pushedon,togetthestartofthegrimtyrant,Isaidtohim:

Sir,youareawarethatadyingtestator’smemoryissometimesa

littleshort;shouldmymasterchancetoforgetme,besogood

astoputinawordinmyfavour.ThatIwill,mylad,replied

thelittleproctor;youmayrelyonit.Iwillurgesomething

handsome,ifIhaveanopportunity.Thelicentiate,onour

arrival,hadstillallhisfacultiesabouthim.DameJacinthawas

byhisbedside,layinginhertearsbywholesale.Shehadplayed

hergame,andbespokenahandsomeremembrance.Weleftthenotary

alonewithmymaster,andwenttogetherintotheanti-chamber,

wherewemetthesurgeon,sentbythephysicianforanotheranda

lastexperiment.Welaidholdofhim.Stop,MasterMartin,said

thehousekeeper,youcannotgointoSignorS�dillo’sroomjust

now.Heisgivinghislastorders;butyoumaybleedawaywhen

thewillismade.

Wewereterriblyafraid,thispiousgentlewomanandI,lestthe

licentiateshouldgooffwithhiswillhalffinished;butbygood

luck,theimportantdeedwasexecuted.Wesawtheproctorcome

out,who,findingmeonthewatch,slappedmeontheshoulder,

andsaidwithasimper:GilBlasisnotforgotten.Atthese

words,Ifeltthemustlivelyjoy;andwassowellpleasedwith

mymasterforhiskindnotice,thatIpromisedmyselfthe

pleasureofprayingforhissoulafterdeath,whichevent

happenedanon;forthesurgeonhavingbledhimoncemore,the

pooroldman,quiteexhausted,gaveuptheghostunderthe

lancet.Justashewasbreathinghislast,thephysicianmadehis

appearance,andlookedalittlefoolish,notwithstandingthe

universalityofhisdeath-bedexperience.Yetfarfromimputing

theaccidenttothenewpractice,hewalkedoff,affirmingwith

intrepidity,thatitwasowingtotheirhavingbeentoolenient

withthelancet,andtoocharyoftheirwarmwater.Themedical

executioner,Imeanthesurgeon,seeingthathisfunctionsalso

wereatanend,followedDoctorSangrado.

Assoonaswesawthebreathoutofourpatron’sbody,Dame

Jacintha,In�silla,andmyself,joinedinadecentchorusof

funerallamentation,loudenoughtoproduceapropereffectin

theneighbourhood.Theemblemofalifetocome,thoughshehad

morereasonthananyofustorejoice,tookthesopranopart,and

screamedoutherafflictionsinamostpatheticmanner.Theroom

inaninstantwascrowdedwithpeople,attractedlessby

compassionthancuriosity.Therelationsofthedeceasedno

soonergotwindofhisdeparturethantheypounceddownuponthe

premises,andsealedupeverything.Fromthehousekeeper’s

distreesstheythoughttherewasnowill;buttheysoonfound

theirmistake,andthattherewasonewithoutaflaw.Whenitwas

opened,andtheylearnedthedispositionofthetestator’s

principalproperty,infavourofDameJacinthaandthelittle

girl,theypronouncedhisfuneralorationintermsnotalittle

disparagingtohismemory.Theygaveabroadapostropheatthe

sametimetothegodlylegatee,andafewblessingstomeinmy

turn.ItmustbeownedIhadearnedthem.Thelicentiate,heaven

rewardhimforit,tosecuremyremembrancesthroughlife,

expressedhimselfthusinaparagraphofhiswill—Item,as

GilBlashasalreadysomelittlesmatteringofliterature,to

encouragehisstudioushabits,Igiveandbequeathtohimmy

library,allmybooksandmymanuscripts,withoutanydrawbackor

exception.

Icouldnotconceivewherethissaidlibrarymightbe;Ihad

neverseenany.Ionlyknewofsomepapers,withfiveorsix

boundbooks,ontwolittledealshelvesinmymaster’scloset;

andthatwasmylegacy.Thebookstoocouldbeofnogreatuseto

me;thetitleofonewas,ThecompleteManCook;another,A

TreatiseonIndigestion,withtheMethodsofCure;therestwere

thefourpartsofthebreviary,halfeatenupbytheworms.In

thearticleofmanuscripts,themostcuriousconsistedof

documentsrelatingtoalawsuitinwhichtheprebendarywasonce

engagedforhisstall.Afterhavingexaminedmylegacywithmore

minutenessthanitdeserved,Imadeovermyrightandtitleto

theseinvidiousrelations.Ievenrenouncedmylivery,andtook

backmyownsuit,claimingmywagesasmyonlyreward.Ithen

wenttolookoutforanotherplace.AsforDameJacintha,besides

herresidueunderthewill,shehadsomesnuglittlearticles,

which,bythehelpofhergoodfriend,shehadappropriatedto

herownuseduringthelastillnessofthelicentiate.

CH.III.—GilBlasentersintoDoctorSangrado’sservice,and

becomesafamouspractitioner.

IDETERMINEDtothrowmyselfinthewayofSignorAriasde

Londona,andtolookoutforanewberthinhisregister;butas

IwasonmywaytoNoThoroughfare,whoshouldcomeacrossmebut

DoctorSangrado,whomIhadnotseensincethedayofmymaster’s

death.Itookthelibertyoftouchingmyhat.Hekennedmeina

twinkling,thoughIhadchangedmydress;andwithasmuchwarmth

ashistemperamentwouldallowhim;Heyday!saidhe,thevery

ladIwantedtosee;youhaveneverbeenoutofmythought.I

haveoccasionforacleverfellowaboutme,andpitcheduponyou

astheverything,ifyoucanreadandwrite.Sir,repliedI,if

thatisallyourequire,Iamyourman.Inthatcase,rejoined

he,weneedlooknofurther.Comehomewithme;itwillbeall

comfort:Ishallbehavetoyoulikeabrother.Youwillhaveno

wages,buteverythingwillbefoundyou.Youshalleatanddrink

accordingtothetruefaith,andbetaughttocurealldiseases.

Inaword,youshallratherbemyyoungSangradothanmyfootman.

Iclosedinwiththedoctor’sproposal,inthehopeofbecoming

anEsculapiusundersoinspiredamaster.Hecarriedmehomeon

thespuroftheoccasion,toinstalmeinmyhonourable

employment;whichhonourableemploymentconsistedinwritingdown

thenameandresidenceofthepatientswhosentforhiminhis

absence.Therehadindeedbeenaregisterforthispurpose,kept

byanolddomestic;butshehadnotthegiftofspelling

accurately,andwroteamostperplexinghand.ThisaccountIwas

tokeep.Itmighttrulybecalledabillofmortality;formy

membersallwentfrombadtoworseduringtheshorttimethey

continuedinthissystem.Iwasasortofbook-keeperforthe

otherworld,totakeplacesinthestage,andtoseethatthe

firstcomewerethefirstserved.Mypenwasalwaysinmyhand,

forDoctorSangradohadmorepracticethananyphysicianofhis

timeinValladolid.Hehadgotintoreputationwiththepublicby

acertainprofessionalslang,humouredbyamedicalface,and

someextraordinarycases,morehonouredbyimplicitfaiththan

scrupulousinvestigation.

Hewasinnowantofpatients,norconsequentlyofproperty.He

didnotkeepthebesthouseintheworld;welivedwithsome

littleattentiontoeconomy.Theusualbilloffareconsistedof

peas,beans,boiledapplesorcheese.Heconsideredthisfoodas

bestsuitedtothehumanstomach,thatistosay,asmost

amenabletothegrinders,whenceitwastoencountertheprocess

ofdigestion.Nevertheless,easyaswastheirpassage,hewasnot

forstoppingthewaywithtoomuchofthem:and,tobesure,he

wasintheright.Butthoughhecautionedthemaidandmeagainst

repletioninrespectofsolids,itwasmadeupbyfreepermission

todrinkasmuchwaterasweliked.Farfromprescribingusany

limitsthere,hewouldtellussometimes—Drink,mychildren;

healthconsistsinthepliabilityandmoistureoftheparts.

Drinkwaterbypailsfull,itisauniversaldissolvent;water

liquefiesallthesalts.Isthecourseofthebloodalittle

sluggish?thisgrandprinciplesetsitforward:toorapid?its

careerischecked.Ourdoctorwassoorthodoxonthishead,that

hedranknothinghimselfbutwater,thoughadvancedinyears.He

definedoldagetobeanaturalconsumptionwhichdriesusupand

wastesusaway:onthisprinciple,hedeploredtheignoranceof

thosewhocallwineoldmen’smilk.Hemaintainedthatwinewears

themoutandcorrodesthem,andpleadedwithalltheforceof

eloquenceagainstthatliquor,fatalincommonbothtotheyoung

andold,thatfriendwithaserpentinitsbosom,thatpleasure

withadaggerunderitsgirdle.

Inspiteofthesefinearguments,attheendofaweeka

loosenessensued,withsometwinges,whichIwasblasphemous

enoughtosaddleontheuniversaldissolvent,andthenew-fashioneddiet.Istatedmysymptomstomymaster,inthehopehe

wouldrelaxtherigourofhisregimen,andqualifymymealswith

alittlewine,buthishostilitytothatliquorwasinflexible.

Ifyouhavenotphilosophyenough,saidhe,forpurewater,there

areinnocentinfusionstostrengthenthestomachagainstthe

nauseaofaqueousquaffings.Sage,forexample,hasaverypretty

flavour:andifyouwishtoheightenitintoadebauch,itis

onlymixingrosemary,wildpoppy,andothersimples,butno

compounds.

Invaindidhecrackoffhiswater,andteachmethesecretof

composingdeliciousmesses.Iwassoabstemious,that,remarking

mymoderation,hesaid—Ingoodsooth,GilBlas,Imarvelnot

thatyouarenobetterthanyouare;youdonotdrinkenough,my

friend.Watertakeninasmallquantityservesonlytoseparate

theparticlesofbileandsettheminaction;butourpracticeis

todrowntheminacopiousdrench,Fearnot,mygoodlad,lesta

superabundanceofliquidshouldeitherweakenorchillyour

stomach;farfromthybetterjudgmentbethatsillyfearof

unadulterateddrink.Iwillensureyouagainstallconsequences;

andifmyauthoritywillnotserveyourturn,readCelsus.That

oracleoftheancientsmakesanadmirablepanegyriconwater;in

short,hesaysinplaintermsthatthosewhopleadaninconstant

stomachinfavourofwine,publishalibelontheirownbowels,

andmaketheirorganizationapretencefortheirsensuality.

Asitwouldhavebeenungenteelinmetohaverunriotonmy

entranceintothecareerofpractice,Iaffectedthorough

conviction;indeed,Ithoughttherewassomethinginit.I

thereforewentondrinkingwaterontheauthorityofCelsus,or,

tospeakinscientificterms,Ibegantodrownthebilein

copiousdrenchesofthatunadulteratedliquor;andthoughIfelt

myselfmoreoutoforderfromdaytoday,prejudicewonthecause

againstexperience.Itisevident,therefore,thatIwasinthe

rightroadtothepracticeofphysic.YetIcouldnotalwaysbe

insensibletothequalmswhichincreasedinmyframe,tothat

degree,astodeterminemeonquittingDoctorSangrado.Buthe

investedmewithanewofficewhichchangedmytone.Harkyou,my

child,saidhetomeoneday,Iamnotoneofthosehardand

ungratefulmasters,wholeavetheirhouseholdtogrowgreyin

servicewithoutasuitablereward.Iamwellpleasedwithyou,I

havearegardforyou,andwithoutwaitingtillyouhaveserved

yourtime,Iwillmakeyourfortune.Withoutmoreado,Iwill

initiateyouinthehealingart,ofwhichIhaveforsomany

yearsbeenatthehead.Otherphysiciansmakethescienceto

consistofvariousunintelligiblebranches;butIwillshorten

theroadforyou,anddispensewiththedrudgeryofstudying

naturalphilosophy,pharmacy,botany,andanatomy.Remember,my

friend,thatbleedinganddrinkingwarmwaterarethetwogrand

principles;thetruesecretofcuringallthedistempersincident

tohumanity.Yes,thismarvelloussecretwhichIrevealtoyou,

andwhichnature,beyondthereachofmycolleagues,hasfailed

inrescuingfrommypen,iscomprehendedinthesetwoarticles—

namely,bleedinganddrenching.Hereyouhavethesumtotalofmy

philosophy;youarethoroughlybottomedinmedicine,andmay

raiseyourselftothesummitoffameontheshouldersofmylong

experience.Youmayenterintopartnershipatonce,bykeeping

thebooksinthemorning,andgoingouttovisitpatientsinthe

afternoon.WhileIdosethenobilityandclergy,youshalllabour

inyourvocationamongthelowerorders;andwhenyouhavefelt

yourgroundalittle,Iwillgetyouadmittedintoourbody.You

areaphilosopher,GilBlas,thoughyouhavenevergraduated;the

commonherdofthem,thoughtheyhavegraduatedindueformand

order,arelikelytorunoutthelengthoftheirtetherwithout

knowingtheirrighthandfromtheirleft.

Ithankedthedoctorforhavingsospeedilyenabledmetoserve

ashisdeputy;and,bywayofacknowledginghisgoodness,

promisedtofollowhissystemtotheendofmycareer,witha

magnanimousindifferenceabouttheaphorismsofHippocrates.But

thatengagementwasnottobetakentotheletter.Thistender

attachmenttowaterwentagainstthegrain,andIhadascheme

fordrinkingwineeverydaysnuglyamongthepatients.Ileftoff

wearingmyownsuitasecondtime,totakeuponeofmymaster’s,

andlooklikeaninveteratepractitioner.AfterwhichIbrought

mymedicaltheoriesintoplay,leavingthemtolooktotheevent

whomitmightconcern.Ibeganonanalguazilinapleurisy;he

wascondemnedtobebledwiththeutmostrigourofthelaw,at

thesametimethatthesystemwastobereplenishedcopiously

withwater.NextImadealodgmentintheveinsofagouty

pastry-cook,whoroaredlikealionbyreasonofgoutyspasms.I

stoodonnomoreceremonywithhisbloodthanwiththatofthe

alguazil,andlaidnorestrictiononhistasteforsimple

liquids.Myprescriptionsbroughtmeintwelverials;anincident

soauspiciousinmyprofessionalcareer,thatIonlywishedfor

theplaguesofEgyptonallthehalesubjectsofValladolid.AsI

wascomingoutofthepastry-cook’swhomshouldImeetbut

Fabricio,atotalstrangersincethedeathofthelicentiate

S�dillo!Helookedatmewithastonishmentforsomeseconds;then

setupalaughwithallhismight,andheldhissides.Hehadno

reasontobegrave,forIhadacloaktrailingontheground,

withadoubletandbreechesoffourtimesmynaturaldimensions.

Iwascertainlyacompleteoriginal.Isufferedhimtomakemerry

aslongasheliked,andcouldscarcelyhelpjoininginthe

ridicule;butIkeptaguardonmymusclestopreserveabecoming

dignityinpublic,andthebettertoenactthephysician,whose

partinsocietyisnotthatofabuffoon.Iftheabsurdityofmy

appearanceexcitedFabricio’smerriment,myaffectedgravity

addedzesttoit;andwhenhehadnearlyexhaustedhislungs—

Byallthepowers,GilBlas,quothhe,thouartincomplete

masquerade.Whothedevilhasdressedyouupinthismanner?Fair

andsoftly,myfriend,repliedI,fairandsoftly,bealittleon

yourgoodbehaviourwithamodernHippocrates.Understandmeto

bethesubstituteofDoctorSangrado,themosteminentphysician

inValladolid.Ihavelivedwithhimthesethreeweeks.Hehas

bottomedmethoroughlyinmedicine;and,ashecannotperformthe

obsequiesofallthepatientswhosendforhim,Ivisitapartof

themtotaketheburdenoffhisconscience.Hedoesexecutionin

greatfamilies,Iamongthevulgar.Vastlywell,replied

Fabricio;thatistosay,hegrantsyoualeaseonthebloodof

thecommonalty,butkeepstohimselfthefee-simpleofthe

fashionableworld.Iwishyoujoyofyourlot;itisapleasanter

lineofpracticeamongthepopulacethanamonggreatfolk.Long

liveasnugconnectioninthesuburbs!aman’smistakesare

easilyburied,andhismurderseludeallbutGod’srevenge.Yes,

mybraveboy,yourdestinyistrulyenviable;inthelanguageof

Alexander,wereInotFabricio,IcouldwishtobeGilBlas.

ToshowthesonofNunez,thebarber,thathewasnotmuchoutin

hisreckoningonmypresenthappiness,Ichinkedthefeesofthe

alguazilandthepastry-cook;andthiswasfollowedbyan

adjournmenttoatavern,todrinktotheirperfectrecovery.The

winewasveryfair,andmyimpatienceforthewell-knownsmack

mademethinkitbetterthanitwas.Itooksomegoodlong

draughts,andwithoutgainsayingtheLatinoracle,inproportion

asIpoureditintoitsnaturalreservoir,Ifeltmy

accommodatingentrailstoowemenogrudgeforthehardservice

intowhichIpressedthem.AsforFabricioandmyself,wesat

sometimeinthetavern,makingmerryattheexpenseofour

masters,asservantsaretoomuchaccustomedtodo.Atlast,

seeingthenightapproach,weparted,afterengagingtomeetat

thesameplaceonthefollowingdayafterdinner.

CH.IV.—GilBlasgoesonpractisingphysicwithequalsuccess

andability.Adventureoftherecoveredring.

IWASnosoonerathomethanDoctorSangradocamein.Italkedto

himaboutthepatientsIhadseen,andpaidintohishandseight

remainingrialsofthetwelveIhadreceivedformy

prescriptions.Eightrials!saidhe,ashecountedthem,mighty

littlefortwovisits!Butwemusttakethingsaswefindthem.

Inthespiritoftakingthingsashefoundthem,helaidviolent

handsonsix,givingmetheothertwo—Here,GilBlas,

continuedhe,seewhatafoundationtobuildupon.Imakeoverto

youthefourthofallyoumaybringme.Youwillsoonfeather

yournest,myfriend;for,bytheblessingofProvidence,there

willbeagreatdealofillhealththisyear.

Ihadreasontobecontentwithmydividend;since,having

determinedtokeepbackthethirdpartofwhatIreceivedinmy

rounds,andafterwardstouchinganotherfourthoftheremainder,

halfofthewhole,ifarithmeticisanythingmorethana

deception,wouldbecomemyperquisite.Thisinspiredmewithnew

zealformyprofession.Thenextday,assoonasIhaddined,I

resumedmymedicalparaphernalia,andtookthefieldoncemore.I

visitedseveralpatientsonthelist,andtreatedtheirseveral

complaintsinoneinvariableroutine.Hithertothingswenton

undertherose,andnoindividual,thankheaven,hadrisenupin

rebellionagainstmyprescriptions.Butletaphysician’scures

beas

extraordinaryastheywill,somequackorotherisalwaysready

toripuphisreputation.Iwascalledintoagrocer’ssonina

dropsy.WhomshouldIfindtherebeforemebutalittleblack-lookingphysician,bynameDoctorCuchillo,introducedbya

relationofthefamily.Ibowedroundmostprofoundly,butdipped

lowesttothepersonagewhomItooktohavebeeninvitedtoa

consultationwithme.Hereturnedmycomplimentwithadistant

air;then,havingstaredmeinthefaceforafewseconds—

SignorDoctor,saidhe,Ibegpardonforbeinginquisitive,I

thoughtIhadbeenacquaintedwithallmybrethreninValladolid,

butIconfessyourphysiognomyisaltogethernew.Youmusthave

beensettledbutashorttimeintown.Iavowedmyselfayoung

practitioner,actingasyetunderthedirectionofDoctor

Sangrado.Iwishyoujoy,repliedhepolitely,youarestudying

underagreatman.Youmustdoubtlesshaveseenavastdealof

soundpractice,youngasyouappeartobe,Hespokethiswithso

easyanassurance,thatIwasatalosswhetherhemeantit

seriously,orwaslaughingatme.WhileIwasconningovermy

reply,thegrocer,seizingontheopportunity,said—

Gentlemen,Iampersuadedofyourbothbeingperfectlycompetent

inyourart;havethegoodnesswithoutadototakethecasein

hand,anddevisesomeeffectualmeansfortherestorationofmy

son’shealth.

Thereuponthelittlepulse-countersethimselfaboutreviewing

thepatient’ssituation;andafterhavingdilatedtomeonall

thesymptoms,askedmewhatIthoughtthefittestmethodof

treatment.Iamofopinion,repliedI,thatheshouldbebled

onceaday,anddrinkasmuchwarmwaterashecanswallow.At

thesewords,ourdiminutivedoctorsaidtomewithamalicious

simper—Andsoyouthinksuchacoursewillsavethepatient?

Neverdoubtit,exclaimedIinaconfidenttone;itmustproduce

thateffect,becauseitisacertainmethodofcureforall

distempers.AskSignorSangrado.Atthatrate,retortedhe,

Celsusisaltogetherinthewrong;forhecontendsthatthe

readiestwaytocureadropsicalsubjectistolethimalmostdie

ofhungerandthirst.Oh!asforCelsus,interruptedI,heisno

oracleofmine,asfallibleasthemeanestofus;Ioftenhave

occasiontoblessmyselfforgoingcontrarytohisdogmas.I

discoverbyyourlanguage,saidCuchillo,thesafeandsure

methodofpracticeDoctorSangradoinstilsintohispupils.

Bleedinganddrenchingaretheextentofhisresources.Nowonder

somanyworthypeoplearecutoffunderhisdirection….No

defamation!interruptedIwithsomeacrimony;amemberofthe

facultyhadbetternotbeginthrowingstones.Come,come,my

learneddoctor,patientscangettotheotherworldwithout

bleedingandwarmwater;andIquestionwhetherthemostdeadly

ofushaseversignedmorepassportsthanyourself.Ifyouhave

anycrowtopluckwithSignorSangrado,writeagainsthim,he

willansweryou,andweshallsoonseewhowillhavethebestof

thebattle.Byallthesaintsinthecalendar!sworehe,ina

transportofpassion,youlittleknowwhomyouaretalkingto.I

haveatongueandafist,myfriend;andamnotafraidof

Sangrado,who,withallhisarroganceandaffectation,isbuta

ninny.Thesizeofthelittledeath-dealermademeholdhisanger

cheap.Igavehimasharpretort;hesentbackasgoodasI

brought,tillatlastwecametocuffs.Wehadpulledafew

handfulsofhairfromeachother’sheadsbeforethegrocerand

hiskinsmancouldpartus.Whentheyhadbroughtthisabout,they

feedmeformyattendance,andretainedmyantagonist,whomthey

thoughtthemoreskilfulofthetwo.

Anotheradventuresucceededcloseontheheelsofthis.Iwentto

seeahugechanterinafever.Assoonasheheardmetalkof

warmwater,heshowedhimselfsoaversetothisspecific,asto

fallintoafitofswearing.Heabusedmeinallpossibleshapes,

andthreatenedtothrowmeoutatwindow.Iwasinagreater

hurrytogetoutofhishousethantogetin.Ididnotchooseto

seeanymorepatientsthatday,andrepairedtotheinnwhereI

hadagreedtomeetFabricio.Hewastherefirst.Aswefound

ourselvesinatipplinghumour,wedrankhard,andreturnedto

ouremployersinaprettypickle,thatistosay,so-sointhe

upperstory.SignorSangradowasnotawareofmybeingdrunk,

becausehetookthelivelygestureswhichaccompaniedthe

relationofmyquarrelwiththelittledoctor,foraneffectof

theagitationnotyetsubsidedafterthebattle.Besides,hecame

inforhisshareinmyreport;andfeelinghimselfnettledby

Cuchillo—Youhavedonewell,GilBlas,saidhe,todefendthe

characterofourpracticeagainstthislittleabortionofthe

faculty.Sohetakesuponhimtosethisfaceagainstwatery

drenchesindropsicalcases?Anignorantfellow!Imaintain,I

do,inmyownperson,thattheuseofthemmaybereconciledto

thebesttheories.Yes,waterisacureforallsortsof

dropsies,justasitisgoodforrheumatismsandthegreen

sickness.Itisexcellent,too,inthosefeverswheretheeffect

isatoncetoparchandtochill,andevenmiraculousinthose

disordersascribedtocold,thin,phlegmatic,andpituitous

humours.Thisopinionmayseemstrangetoyoungpractitioners

likeCuchillo;butitisrightorthodoxinthebestandsoundest

systems:sothatifpersonsofthatdescriptionwerecapableof

takingaphilosophicalview,insteadofcryingmedown,they

wouldbecomemymostzealousadvocates.

Inhisrage,heneversuspectedmeofdrinking:for,to

exasperatehimstillmoreagainstthelittledoctor,Ihadthrown

intomyrecitalsomecircumstancesofmyownaddition.Yet,

engrossedashewasbywhatIhadtoldhim,hecouldnothelp

takingnoticethatIdrankmorewaterthanusualthatevening.

Infact,thewinehadmademeverythirsty.AnyonebutSangrado

wouldhavedistrustedmybeingsoverydry,astoswallowdown

glassafterglass:butasforhim,hetookitforgranted,inthe

simplicityofhisheart,thatIbegantoacquirearelishfor

aqueouspotations.Apparently,GilBlas,saidhewithagracious

smile,youhavenolongersuchadisliketowater.Asheavenis

myjudge!youquaffitofflikenectar.Itisnowonder,my

friend,Iwascertainyouwouldtakealikingtothatliquor.

Sir,repliedI,thereisatideintheaffairsofmen:withmy

presentlights,IwouldgiveallthewineinValladolidfora

pintofwater.Thisanswerdelightedthedoctor,whowouldnot

losesofineanopportunityofexpatiatingontheexcellenceof

water.Heundertooktoringthechangesoncemoreinitspraise,

notlikeahirelingpleader,butasanenthusiastinthecause.A

thousandtimes,exclaimedhe,athousandandathousandtimesof

greatervalue,asbeingmoreinnocentthanourmoderntaverns,

werethosebathsofagespast,whitherthepeoplewentnot

shamefullytosquandertheirfortunesandexposetheirlives,by

swillingthemselveswithwine,butassembledthereforthedecent

andeconomicalamusementofdrinkingwarmwater.Itisdifficult

enoughtoadmirethepatrioticforecastofthoseancient

politicians,whoestablishedplacesofpublicresort,wherewater

wasdealtoutgratistoallcomers,andwhoconfinedwinetothe

shopsoftheapothecaries,thatitsusemightbeprohibitedbut

underthedirectionofphysicians.Whatastrokeofwisdom!Itis

doubtlesstopreservetheseedsofthatantiquefrugality,

emblematicofthegoldenage,thatpersonsarefoundtothisday,

likeyouandme,whodrinknothingbutwater,andarepersuaded

theypossessapreventionoracureforeveryailment,provided

ourwarmwaterhasneverboiled;forIhaveobservedthatwater,

whenithasboiled,isheavier,andsitslesseasilyonthe

stomach.

Whilehewasholdingforththuseloquently,Iwasindangermore

thanonceofsplittingmysideswithlaughing.ButIcontrivedto

keepmycountenance:nay,more;tochimeinwiththedoctor’s

theory.Ifoundfaultwiththeuseofwine,andpitiedmankind

forhavingcontractedanuntowardrelishtosoperniciousa

beverage.Then,findingmythirstnotsufficientlyallayed,I

filledalargegobletwithwater,andafterhavingswilledit

likeahorse:Come,sir,saidItomymaster,letusdrink

plentifullyofthisbeneficialliquor.Letusmakethoseearly

establishmentsofdilutionyousomuchregret,toliveagainin

yourhouse.Heclappedhishandsinecstacyatthesewords,and

preachedtomeforawholehouraboutsufferingnoliquidbut

watertopassmylips.Toconfirmthehabit,Ipromisedtodrink

alargequantityeveryevening;and,tokeepmywordwithless

violencetomyprivateinclinations,Iwenttobedwitha

determinedpurposeofgoingtothetaverneveryday.

ThetroubleIhadgotintoatthegrocer’sdidnotdiscourageme

fromphlebotomizingandprescribingwarmwaterintheusual

course.ComingoutofahousewhereIhadbeenvisitingapoetin

aphrenzy,Iwasaccostedinthestreetbyanoldwomanwhocame

upandaskedmeifIwasaphysician.Isaidyes.Asthatisthe

case,repliedshe,Ientreatyouwithallhumilitytogoalong

withme.Myniecehasbeenillsinceyesterday,andIcannot

conceivewhatisthematterwithher.Ifollowedtheoldladyto

herhouse,whereIwasshownintoaverydecentroom,occupiedby

afemalewhokeptherbed.Iwentnear,toconsiderhercase.Her

featuresstruckmefromthefirst;andIdiscoveredbeyondthe

possibilityofamistake,afterhavinglookedathersomelittle

time,theshe-adventurerwhohadplayedthepartofCamillaso

adroitly.Forherpart,shedidnotseemtorecollectmeatall,

whetherfromtheoppressionofherdisorder,orfrommydressas

aphysicianrenderingmenoteasytobeknownagain.Itookher

bythehand,tofeelherpulse;andsawmyringuponherfinger.

Iwasallinatwitteratthediscoveryofavaluable,onwhichI

hadaclaimbothinlawandequity.Greatwasmylongingtomake

asnatchatit;butconsideringthatthesefaironeswouldsetup

agreatscream,andthatDonRaphaelorsomeotherdefenderof

injuredinnocencemightrushintotheirrescue,Ilaidan

embargoonmyprivateering.Ithoughtitbesttocomebymyown

inanhonestway,andtoconsultFabricioaboutthemeans.To

thislastcourseIstuck.Inthemeantimetheoldwomanurgedme

toinformherwithwhatdiseaseherniecewastroubled.Iwasnot

foolenoughtoownmyignorance;onthecontrary,Itookupon

myselfasamanofscience,andaftermymaster’sexample,

pronouncedsolemnlythatthedisorderaccruedtothepatientfrom

thedefectofnaturalperspiration;thatconsequentlyshemust

losebloodassoonaspossible,becauseifwecouldnotopenone

pore,wealwaysopenanother:andIfinishedmyprescriptionwith

warmwater,todothethingmethodically.

Ishortenedmyvisitasmuchaspossible,andrantothesonof

Nunez,whomImetjustashewasgoingoutonanerrandforhis

master.Itoldhimmynewadventure,andaskedhisadviceabout

layinganinformationagainstCamilla.Pooh!Nonsense!replied

he;thatwouldnotbethewaytogetyourringagain.Those

gentrythinkrestitutiondoubletrouble.Calltomindyour

imprisonmentatAstorga;yourhorse,yourmoney,yourvery

clothes,didnottheyallcentreinthehandsofjustice?Wemust

rathersetourwitstoworkfortherecoveryofyourdiamond.I

takeonmyselfthechargeofinventingsomestratagemforthat

purpose.Iwilldeliberateitinmywaytothehospital,whereI

havetosaybuttwowordsfrommymastertothepurveyor.Doyou

waitformeatourhouseofcall,anddonotbeonthefret:I

willbewithyoushortly.

Ihadwaited,however,morethanthreehoursattheappointed

place,whenhearrived.Ididnotknowhimagainatfirst.

Besidesthathehadchangedhisdressandplattedhishair,a

pairoffalsewhiskerscoveredhalfhisface.Heworeanimmense

swordwithahiltofatleastthreefeetincircumference,and

marchedattheheadoffivemenofasswaggeringanairas

himself,withbushywhiskersandlongrapiers.Gooddaytoyou,

SignorGilBlas,saidhebywayofsalutation;beholdanalguazil

uponanewconstruction,andmarshalmenoflikematerialsin

thesebravefellowsmycompanions.Wehaveonlytobeshownwhere

thewomanlodgeswhopurloinedthediamond,andwewillobtain

restitution,takemywordforit.IhuggedFabricioatthis

discourse,whichletmeintotheplot,andtestifiedloudlymy

approvaloftheexpedient.Ipaidmyrespectsalsotothe

masqueradingmarshalmen.Theywerethreeservantsandtwo

journeymenbarbersofhisacquaintance,whomhehadengagedto

actthisfarce.Iorderedwinetobeservedroundtothe

detachment,andweallwenttogetheratnight-falltoCamilla’s

residence.Thedoorwasshut,andweknocked.Theoldwoman,

takingmycompanionstobeonthescentofjustice,andknowing

theywouldnotcomeintothatneighbourhoodfornothing,was

terriblyfrightened.Cheerupagain,goodmother,saidFabricio;

weareonlycomehereuponalittlebusinesswhichwillbesoon

settled.Atthesewordswemadeourentry,andfoundourwayto

thesickchamber,undertheguidanceoftheolddowagerwho

walkedbeforeus,andbyfavourofawaxtaperwhichshecarried

inasilvercandlestick.Itookthelight,wenttothebedside,

and,makingCamillatakeparticularnoticeofmyfeatures,

Traitress,saidI,calltomindthetoocredulousGilBlaswhom

youhavedeceivedAh!thouwickednesspersonified,atlastIhave

caughtthee.Thecorregidorhastakendownmydeposition,and

orderedthisalguaziltoarrestyou.Come,officer,saidIto

Fabricio,doyourduty.Thereisnoneed,repliedhe,swelling

hisvoice,toinflamemyseverity.Thefaceofthatwretchisnot

newtome:shehaslongbeenmarkedwithredlettersinmy

pocket-book.Getup,myprincess,dressyourroyalpersonwith

allpossibledispatch.Iwillbeyoursquire,andlodgeyouin

durancevile,ifyouhavenoobjection.

Atthesewords,Camilla,illasshewas,observingtwomarshalmen

withlargewhiskersreadytodragheroutofbedbymainforce,

satupofherself,claspedherhandsinanattitudeof

supplication;andlookingatmeruefully,said,SignorGilBlas,

havecompassiononme:Icallasawitnesstomyentreatiesthe

chastemotherwhosevirtuesyouinherit.GuiltyasIam,my

misfortunesaregreaterthanmycrimes.Iwillgiveyoubackyour

diamond,sodonotbemyruin.Speakingtothiseffect,shedrew

myringfromherfinger,andgaveitmeback.ButItoldhermy

diamondwasnotenough,andthatshemustrefundthethousand

ducatstheyhadembezzledintheready-furnishedlodging.Oh!as

foryourducats,repliedshe,askmenotaboutthem.Thatfalse-hearteddeceiver,DonRaphael,whomIhavenotseenfromthat

timetothis,carriedthemofftheverysamenight.Oho!my

littledarling,saidFabricioinhisturn,thatwillnotdo,you

hadahandintherobbery,whetheryouwentsnacksintheprofit

orno.Youwillnotcomeoffsocheaply.Yourhavingbeen

accessorytoDonRaphael’smanoeuvresisenoughtorenderyou

liabletoanexamination.Yourpastlifeisveryequivocal;and

youmusthaveagooddealuponyourconscience.Youwillhavethe

goodness,ifyouplease,justtostepintothetownjail,and

thereunburdenyourselfbyageneralconfession.Thisgoodold

ladyshallkeepyoucompany;itishardifshecannottella

worldofcuriousstories,suchasMrCorregidorwillbedelighted

tohear.

Thetwowomen,atthesewords,broughteveryengineofpityinto

playtosoftenus.Theyfilledtheairwithcries,complaints,

andlamentations.Whiletheoldwomanonherknees,sometimesto

thealguazilandsometimestohisattendants,endeavoured.to

melttheirstubbornhearts,Camillaimploredme,inthemost

touchingterms,tosaveherfromthehandsofjustice.I

pretendedtorelent.Officer,saidItothesonofNunez,sinceI

havegotmydiamond,Idonotmuchcareaboutanythingelse.It

wouldbenopleasuretometobethemeansofpaintothatpoor

woman;Iwantnotthedeathofasinner.Outuponyou,answered

he,yousetupforhumanity!youwouldmakeabadtipstaff.I

mustdomyerrand.Mypositiveordersaretoarrestthesevirgins

ofthesun;hishonourthecorregidormeanstomakeanexampleof

them.Nay!formercy’ssake,repliedI,paysomelittledeference

tomywishes,andslackenalittleofyourseverity,onthe

groundofthepresenttheseladiesareonthepointofoffering

toyouracceptance.Oh!thatisanothermatter,rejoinedhe;that

iswhatyoumaycallafigureofrhetoricsuitedtoall

capacitiesandalloccasions.Well,then,letussee,whathave

theytogiveme?Ihaveapearlnecklace,saidCamilla,anddrop

ear-ringsofconsiderablevalue.Yes;but,interruptedhe

roughly,ifthesearticlesaretheproduceofthePhilippine

Isles,Iwillhavenoneofthem.Youmaytaketheminperfect

safety,repliedshe:Iwarrantthemreal.Atthesametimeshe

madetheoldwomanbringalittlebox,whenceshetookoutthe

necklaceandear-rings,whichsheputwithinthegraspofthis

incorruptibleminister.Thoughhewasmuchsuchajudgeof

jewelleryasmyself,hehadnodoubtofthedropsbeingreal,as

wellasthepearls.Thesetrinkets,saidhe,afterhavinglooked

atthemminutely,seemtobeofgoodqualityandfashion:andif

thesilvercandlestickisthrownintothebargain,Iwouldnot

answerformyownhonesty.Youhadbetternot,saidIinmyturn

toCamilla,foratrifle,rejectsomoderateandfaira

composition.Whileutteringthesewords,Ireturnedthetaperto

theoldwoman,andhandedthecandlestickovertoFabricio,who,

stoppingtherebecauseperhapsheespiednothingelsethatwas

portableintheroom,saidtothetwowomen:Farewell,mydainty

misses,setyourheartsatrest,Iwillreportyoutohisworship

thecorregidor,aspurerthanunsmutchedsnow.Wecanturnhim

roundourfinger;andnevertellhimthetruth,butwhenweare

notpaidforourlies.

CH.V.—Sequeloftheforegoingadventure.GilBlasretires

frompractice,andfromtheneighbourhoodofValladolid.

AFTERhavingthuscarriedFabricio’splanintoeffect,wetook

ourleaveofCamilla’slodging,huggingourselvesonasuccess

beyondourexpectation;forwehadonlyreckonedonthering.We

carriedoffwithoutceremonyallwecouldgetbesides.Farfrom

makingitapointofconsciencenottostealfromadescription

ofladieswhosenamesarecommonlyassociatedwithrogues,we

thoughttocoversomescoresofothersinsbysomeritoriousan

action.Gentlemen,saidFabricio,whenwewereinthestreet,my

counselisforreturningtoourtavern,anddevotingthenightto

aregale.To-morrowwewillsellthecandlestick,thenecklace,

thedropear-rings,andthensharetheprizemoneylikebrother

adventurers,afterwhicheverymanshalltramphomeagain,and

makethebestexcusehecantohismaster.Hisworshipthe

alguazil’sideaseemedequallybrightandjudicious.Wereturned

rankandfiletothetavern,someinthepioushopeoffindinga

plausibleexcuseforhavingsleptabroad,othersinadesperate

indifferenceaboutbeingturnedoutofdoorswithoutacharacter.

Weorderedagoodsuppertobegotready,andsatdowntotable

withourphysicalandmentalpowersinfullvigour.Therelish

washeightenedbyathousandpleasantanecdotes.Fabricio,ofall

menintheworld,havingthehappyknackofachairmanina

companyofjovialspirits,keptthetableinaroar.There

escapedfromhimIknownothowmanychargesoftrueCastilian

wit,worthmoreeitherintheschoolsofphilosophyorthe

exchangeofcommercethanthedrugofAtticsalt.Whilewewere

inafullpealoflaughter,weweremadetolaughontheother

sideofourmouthsbyanunforeseenoccurrence.Thereappearedat

tableamanofnocontemptibleprowess,followedbytwootheras

ill-lookingdogsaseverexisted.Afterthisspecimenwehad

threeothers,andreckoneduptoadozen,marchinginby

triplets.Theywerearmedwithcarbines,swords,andbayonets.We

couldnotmistaketheiroffice,andwereatnolosstoguess

theirbusiness.Atfirstwehadamindtoberefractory;butthey

besetusinaninstant,andkeptusunder,asmuchbytheir

numbersasbytheirweapons.Gentlemen,saidthecaptain

commandantinajeeringstrain,Ihavebeeninformedbywhat

ingeniousartificeyouhaverecoveredaringfromthecustodyof

aladynobetterthansheshouldbe.Undoubtedly,thedevicewas

admirable,andwelldeservesaciviccrown;thepatriotismofour

policewillnotbefoundwanting.Justice,withherlodgingsto

letforgentryofyourdescription,willnotbedeficientinher

acknowledgmentsforsobrilliantadisplayofgenius.Thecompany

towhomthisintroductoryaddresswasdirected,lookedalittle

sheepishontheoccasion.Ourcountenancesfell;andCamillahad

herfullrevenge.Fabricio,however,thoughpaleandpuzzled,

madeanattemptatadefence.Sir,saidhe,wediditinthe

innocenceofourhearts,and.ofcourseweshallbeforgiventhis

notimmoralfraud?Whatthedevil,repliedthecommandantina

rage,doyoucallthisanotimmoralfraud?Moralorimmoral,it

maybringyoutothegallows.Besidesthatthepowerof

restitutionistoosacredtobeassumedbytheindividual,you

havemadeawaywithacandlestick,anecklace,andapairofdrop

ear-rings:andwhatisworse,youhavecommittedyourrascalities

intheliveryofthelaw.Scoundrelsdressingthemselvesuplike

thepillarsofmoralitytoundermineitsveryfoundation!Ishall

wishyoumuchjoyifyouarecondemnedtonothingworsethan

mowingthesaltmarsh.Whenhehadimpresseditonour

convictionsthattheaffairwasevenmoreseriousthanourfirst

fears,wethrewourselvesonhismercy,andimploredhimtohave

pityonourtenderyears,buthisstubbornheartwasrelentless.

Herejectedmoreovertheproposalofrelinquishingthenecklace,

ear-rings,andcandlestick;nay,hewasdeaftotherhetoricof

myring:perhapsbecauseIoffereditbeforetoomanywitnesses:

inshort,hewasthemostobduratedogofhiskennel.Heordered

mycompanionstobehandcuffed,andsentusinabodytothe

publicprison.Aswewereonourway,oneofthemarshalmen

acquaintedmethatCamilla’soldvixen,suspectingusnottobe

licensedscoutsofjustice,haddoggedustothetavern;and

havingsatisfiedherdoubts,inrevengeinformedagainstusto

thepatrole.

Weweresearchedinthefirstinstance.Awaywentthenecklace,

theearrings,andthecandlestick.Theypickedmypocketofmy

ring,andmyrubyofthePhilippineIsles;withoutevensparing

thefewfeesIhadreceivedintheforenoonformyprescriptions:

sothatitwasplaintradewascarriedonbythesamefirmat

ValladolidasatAstorga,andthatallthesereformersheldthe

samecreed.Whiletheyrifledmeofmytrinketsandmoney,the

lordinwaitingofthepatrolemadeknownouradventuretothe

inferioragentsoflegalrapine.Thetrespassappearedso

audaciousthatthemajorityvoteditcapital.Afewkindsouls

wereofopinionthatwemightcomeofffortwohundredlashesa

piece,withafewyearsonboardthegalleys.Waitinghis

worship’ssentence,wewerelockedupinacell,wherewelay

uponstraw,spreadoverourstablelikealitterforhorses.

Theremightwehavefodderedforanage,andatlasthavebeen

turnedouttograssinthegalleys,ifonthemorrowSignor

ManuelOrdonnezhadnotgotwindofouraffair,anddeterminedto

releaseFabricio;whichhecouldnotdowithoutmakingageneral

gaoldelivery.Hewasamanofthefirstcreditinthetown:his

interestwasexertedforus,andpartlybyhisowninfluence,and

partlybythatofhisfriends,heobtainedourenlargementatthe

endofthreedays.Buttheperiodofdeliveryisalwaysmoulting

timewithgaolbirds;thecandlestick,thenecklace,theear-rings,myring,andtheruby,allwasleftbehind.Onecouldnot

helprepeatingthoseexcellentlinesofVirgil,beginningwith

Sicvosnonvobis.

Assoonaswewereatlibertywereturnedtoourmasters.Doctor

Sangradoreceivedmekindly;MypoorGilBlas,saidhe,itwas

butthismorningIwasacquaintedwiththymisfortune.Iwasjust

settingaboutanactivecanvassforthee.Wemustderivecomfort

fromadversity,myfriend,andattachourselvesmorethaneverto

thepracticeofphysic.Iaffirmedthattobemyintention;and

intruthIlaidaboutme.Farfromwantingemployment,it

happenedbyakindprovidence,asmymasterhadforetold,tobea

verysicklyseason.Thesmallpoxandamalignantfevertook

alternatepossessionofthetownandthesuburbs.Allthe

physiciansinValladolidhadtheirshareofbusiness,andwenot

theleast.Wesaweightortenpatientsaday;sothatthekettle

waskeptonthesimmer,andthebloodintheactionof

transpiring.Butthingswillhappencross;theydiedtoaman,

eitherbyourfaultortheirown.Iftheircasewashopeless,we

werenottoblame;andifitwasnothopeless,theywere.Three

visitstoapatientwasthelengthofourtether.Aboutthe

second,wesometimesranfouloftheundertaker;orwhenwehad

beenmorefortunatethanusual,thepatienthadgotnofurther

thanthepointofdeath.AsIwasbutayoungphysician,notyet

hardenedtothetradeofanassassin,Igrievedoverthe

melancholyissueofmyowntheoryandpractice.Sir,saidI,one

eveningtoDoctorSangrado,Icallheaventowitnessonthespot

thatIhaveneverstrayedfromyourinfalliblemethod;andyetI

haveneversavedapatient:onewouldthinktheydiedoutof

spite,andwereontheothersideofthegreatmedicalquestion.

ThisverydayIcameacrosstwoofthem,goingintothecountry

tobeburied.Mygoodlad,repliedhe,myexperiencenearlycomes

tothesamepoint.ItisbutseldomIhavethepleasureofcuring

mykindandpartialfriends.IfIhadlessconfidenceinmy

principles,Ishouldthinkmyprescriptionshadsettheirfaces

againsttheworktheywereintendedtoperform.Ifyouwilltake

ahint,sir,repliedI,wehadbettervaryoursystem.Letus

give,bywayofexperiment,chemicalpreparationstoour

patients;theworsttheycandoistotreadinthestepsofour

puredilutionsandourphlebotomizingevacuations.Iwould

willinglygiveitatrial,rejoinedhe,ifitwereamatterof

indifference,butIhavepublishedonthepracticeofbleeding

andtheuseofdrenches:wouldyouhavemecutthethroatofmy

ownfameasanauthor!Oh!youareintheright,resumedI;our

enemiesmustnotgainthistriumphoverus;theywouldsaythat

youwereoutofconceitwithyourownsystems,andwouldruin

yourreputationforconsistency.Perishthepeople,perishrather

ournobilityandclergy!Butletusgoonintheoldpath.After

all,ourbrethrenofthefaculty,withalltheirtendernessabout

bleeding,havenopatentforlongevityanymorethanourselves;

andwemaysetofftheirdrugsagainstourspecifics.

Wewentonworkingdoubletides,anddidsomuchexecution,that

inlessthansixweekswemadeasmanywidowsandorphansasthe

siegeofTroy.TheplaguemusthavegotintoValladolidbythe

numberoffunerals.Dayafterdaycamesomefatherorotherto

knowwhatwasbecomeofhisson,whowaslastseeninourhands;

orelseastupidfellowofanuncle,whohadafoolishhankering

afteradeceasednephew.Withrespecttothenephewsandsons,on

whoseunclesandfatherswehadequalizedoursystemof

destruction,theythoughtthatleastsaidwassoonestmended.

Husbandswerealtogetherontheirgoodbehaviour,theywouldnot

splitahairaboutthelossofawifeortwo.Therealsufferers

towhosereproacheswewereexposed,weresometimesquitesavage

intheirgrief;withoutbeingmealy-mouthedintheirexpressions,

theycalledusblockheadsandassassins.Iwasconcernedattheir

badlanguage;butmymaster,whowasuptoeverycircumstance,

listenedtotheirabusewiththeutmostindifference.YetImight

havegrownascallousashimselftopopularreproach,ifheaven,

interposingitsshieldbetweentheinvalidsofValladolidandone

oftheirscourges,hadnotprovidentiallyraisedupanincident

todisgustmewithmedicine,whichfromtheoutsethadbeen

disgustedwithme.

Theidlefellowsabouttownassembledeverydayinour

neighbourhoodforagameattennis.Amongthenumberwasoneof

thoseprofessedbullieswhosetupforgreatDons,andarethe

completecocksofthetennis-court.HewasaBiscayan,and

assumedthetitleofDonRodericdeMondragon.Hisagemightbe

aboutthirty.Hissizewassomewhatabovethecommon,buthewas

leanandbony.Besidestwosparklinglittleeyesrollingaboutin

hishead,andthrowingoutdefianceagainstallbystanders,a

verybroadnosecameinbetweenapairofredwhiskers,which

turneduplikeahookashighasthetemples.Hisphraseologywas

soroughanduncouththattheverysoundofhisvoicewouldthrow

aquietmanintoanague.Thistyrantoverboththeracketsand

thegamewaslordparamountinalldisputesbetweentheplayers;

andtherewasnoappealfromhisdecisions,butattheriskof

receivingachallengethenextday.PreciselyasIhavedrawn

SignorDonRoderic,whomtheDonintheforegroundofhistitles

couldnevermakeagentleman,SignorDonRodericwassweetupon

themistressofthetennis-court.Shewasawomanofforty,in

goodcircumstances,ascharmingasfortycanwellbe,just

enteringonthesecondyearofherwidowhood.Iknownothowhe

madehimselfagreeable;certainlynotbyhisexterior

recommendations,butprobablybythatwithinwhichpassethshow.

Howeverthatmightbe,shetookafancytohim,andbegantoturn

herthoughtstowardstheholystateofmatrimony;butwhilethat

greateventwasinagitation,forthepunishmentofhersinsshe

wastakenwithamalignantfever,andwithmeforaphysician.

Hadthedisorderbeeneversoslight,mypracticewouldhavemade

aseriousjobofit.Attheexpirationoffourdaystherewasnot

adryeyeinthetennis-court.Themistressjoinedtheoutward-boundcolonyofmypatients,andherfamilyadministeredtoher

effects.DonRoderic,distractedatthelossofhismistress,or

ratherdisappointedofagoodestablishment,wasnotsatisfied

withfrettingandfumingatme,butsworehewouldrunmethrough

thebody,orevenfrownmeintoanonentity.Agood-natured

neighbourapprisedmeofthisvow,withacautiontokeepat

home,forfearofcomingacrossthisdevilofafellow.This

warning,thoughtakeningoodpart,wasasourceofanxietyand

apprehension.IwaseternallyfancyingtheenragedBiscayan

layingsiegetotheoutworksofmycitadel.Therewasnogetting

amoment’srespitefromalarm.Thiscircumstanceweanedmefrom

thepracticeofmedicine,andIthoughtofnothingbut

deliverancefrommyhorrors.Onwentmyembroideredsuitonce

more.Takingleaveofmymaster,whodidallhecouldtodetain

me,Igotoutoftownwiththedawn,notheedlessofthat

terribleDonRoderic,whomightwaylaymeontheroad.

CH.VI.—HisroutefromValladolid,withadescriptionofhis

fellow-traveller.

ITRUDGEDonatagreatrate,andlookedbehindfromtimeto

time,toseeifthatdreadfulBiscayanwasnotfollowingme.My

imaginationwassoengrossedbythefellow,thathehauntedmein

everytreeandbush;myheartwasinmymouthforfearatevery

foot-fall.ButItookcourageagainatthedistanceofabouta

league,andwentonmoregentlytowardsMadrid,whitherI

proposeddirectingmysteps.IhadnoattachmenttoValladolid.

AllmyregretwasattearingmyselffromFabricio,mydear

Pylades,ofwhomIhadnotsomuchastakenmyleave.Itwasno

grievancetogiveupphysic;onthecontrary,Iprayedheavento

forgivemeforhavingtamperedwithit.YetIdidnotcountover

thecontentsofmypursewithlesspleasure,becausetheywere

thewagesofmurder.InthisItookafterthoseladieswhoretire

withafortunetoleadpiouslives,andthinkithardiftheymay

notfattenreligiouslyonthehardearningsoftheirlibertine

profession.Ihad,inrials,somewhereaboutthevalueoffive

ducats,andthiswasthesumtotalofmyproperty.WiththeseI

designedrepairingtoMadrid,whereIhadnodoubtoffindinga

goodservice.Besides,Iwishedaboveallthingstobeinthat

magnificentcity,theboastedepitomeoftheworldandallits

wonders.

WhileIwasrecollectingwhatIhadheardofit,andenjoying

beforehandthepleasuresitaffords,Iheardthevoiceofaman

comingafterme,andsingingtillhehadscrapedhisthroat.He

hadawalletonhisback,aguitarsuspendedfromhisneck,anda

longswordbyhisside.Hegotonatsucharate,assoonto

overtakeme.Whoshoulditbebutoneofthetwojourneymen

barberswithwhomIhadbeeningaolfortheadventureofthe

ring.Weknewoneanotheratonce,thoughwehadshiftedour

dresses,andwereinathousandmarvelsatmeetingso

unexpectedlyonthehighway.IfItestifiedmydelightathaving

suchafellow-traveller,heseemedonhissidetofeelanexcess

ofraptureattherenewalofouracquaintance.ItoldhimwhyI

hadleftValladolid,andhetrustedhisownsecrettomein

return,bystatinghimselftohavehadalittlebrushwithhis

master,onwhichtheyhadtakenaneverlastingleaveofone

another.Haditbeenmypleasure,continuedhe,tohavetakenup

myabodelongerinValladolid,tenshopswouldtakemeinforone

thatwouldhaveturnedmeout;since,vanityapart,Imaysafely

saythereisnotabarberinallSpainbetterqualifiedtoshave

allsortsofbeards,withthegrainoragainstthegrain,andto

curlapairofwhiskers.ButIcouldnolongerfightagainsta

hankeringaftermynativeplace,whenceIdepartedfulltenyears

since.Iwishtoinhalealittleofmyowncountryair,andto

learnthepresentsituationofmyfamily.Ishallbeamongthem

thedayafterto-morrow,ataplacecalledOlm�do,apopulous

villageonthissideofSegovia.

Iresolvedonaccompanyingthisbarberhome,andgoingtoSegovia

forthechanceofacasttoMadrid.Webeganentertainingone

anotherwithindifferentsubjectsaswewentalong.Theyoung

fellowwasperfectlygood-humoured,withareadywit.Afteran

hour’sconversation,heaskedmeifIwashungry.Ireferredhim

tothefirsthouseofcallformyanswer.Tostopdilapidations

tillwegetthere,saidhe,wemayrenewourtermbyalittle

breakfastfrommywallet.WhenIamonajourneyIamalwaysmy

owncaterer.Noneofyourwoollendrapery,norlinendrapery,nor

anyofyourfripperyortrumpery.Ihateostentation.Mywallet

containsnothingbutalittleexerciseformygrinders,my

razors,andawash-ball.Iextolledhisdiscretion,andagreed

withallmyhearttothebargainheproposed.Myappetitewas

keenandsharpsetforacomfortablemeal;afterwhathehad

said,Icouldexpectnoless.Wedrewasidealittlefromthe

highroad,andsatdownuponthegrass.Theremylittle

journeymanbarberlaidouthisprovisions,consistingoffiveor

sixonions,withsomescrapsofbreadandcheese;butthebest

lotintheauctionwasalittleleathernbottle,full,ashe

said,ofchoice,delicatewine.Thoughthesolidswerenotvery

relishing,thecallsofhungerdidnotalloweitherofustobe

dainty;andweemptiedthebottletoo,containingabouttwopints

ofawineonecouldnotrecommendwithoutsomeremorseof

conscience.Wethenrosefromtableandsetoutagainonthe

trampinhighglee.Thebarber,whohadheardsomelittle

snatchesofmystoryfromFabricio,entreatedmetofurnishhim

withthewholefromthebestauthority.Itwasimpossibleto

refusesomunificentahost;Ithereforegavehimthe

satisfactionherequired.InmyturnIcalledonhim,asan

acknowledgementofmyfrankness,tocommunicatetheleading

circumstancesofhisterrestrialperegrinations.Oh!asformy

adventures,exclaimedhe,theyarescarcelyworthrecording,a

merecatalogueofcommonoccurrences.Nevertheless,sincewehave

nothingelsetodo,Iwillrunoverthenarrative,suchasitis.

Atthesametimeheenteredontherecitalnearlyinthe

followingterms.

CH.VII.—Thejourneymanbarber’sstory.

ITAKEupmytalefromtheoriginofthings.Mygrandfather,

FerdinandPerezdelaFuenta,barber-generaltothevillageof

Olm�doforfiftyyears,died,leavingfoursons.Theeldest,

Nicholas,succeededtotheshop,andlatheredhimselfintothe

goodgracesofthecustomers.Bertrand,thenext,havingtakena

fancytotrade,setupforamercer;andThomas,whowasthe

third,turnedschoolmaster.Asforthefourth,bynamePedro,

feelingwithinhimselfthehighdestiniesoflearning,hesolda

dirtyacreortwowhichfelltohisshare,andwenttosettleat

Madrid,wherehehopedonedaytodistinguishhimselfbyhis

geniusanderudition.Theotherthreebrotherswouldnotpart;

theyfixedtheirquartersatOlm�do,marryingpeasants’

daughters,whobroughttheirhusbandsverylittledowry,except

anannualpresentofachoppingyoungrustic.Theyhadamost

public-spiritedemulationinchild-bearing.Mymother,the

barber’swife,favouredtheworldwithacontributionofsix

withinthefirstfiveyearsofhermarriage.Iwasamongthe

number.Myfatherinitiatedmebetimesinthemysteriesof

shaving;andwhenhesawmegrownuptotheageoffifteen,laid

thiswalletacrossmyshoulders,presentedmewithalongsword,

andsaid—Go,Diego,youarenowqualifiedtogainyourown

livelihood;goandtravelabout.Youwantalittleacquaintance

withtheworldtogiveyouapolish,andimproveyouinyourart.

Offwithyou!anddonotreturntoOlm�dotillyouhavemadethe

tourofSpain,norletmehearofyoutillthatisaccomplished.

Finishingwiththisinjunction,heembracedmewithfatherly

affection,andshovedmeoutofdoorsbytheshoulders.

Suchwerethepartingbenedictionsofmysire.Asformymother,

whohadmorethetouchofnatureinhermanners,sheseemedto

feelsomewhatatmydeparture.Shedroppedafewtears,andeven

slippedaducatbystealthintomyhand..ThuswasIsentfrom

Olm�dointothewideworld,andtooktheroadofSegovia.Idid

notgotwohundredyardswithoutstoppingtoexaminemybag.I

hadamindtoviewitscontents,andtoknowthepreciseamount

ofmypossessions.ThereIfoundacasewithtworazors,which

musthavetravelledpostoverthechinsoftengenerations,by

theevidenceoftheirwearandtear,withastraptosetthem,

andabitofsoap.Inadditiontothis,acoarseshirtquitenew,

apairofmyfather’sshoesquiteold,andwhatrejoicedmemore

thanalltherest,arouleauoftwentyrialsinalinenbag.

Beholdthesumtotalofmypersonals.Youmayconcludemaster

Nicholas,thebarber,tohavereckonedagooddealonmy

ingenuity,byhisturningmeadriftwithsoslenderaprovision.

Yetaducatandtwentyrials,bywayoffortune,wasenoughto

turntheheadofayoungmanunaccustomedtomoneyconcerns.I

fanciedmystockofcashinexhaustible;andpursuedmyjourneyin

thesunshineofbrilliantanticipation,lookingfromtimeto

timeatthehiltofmyrapier,whilethebladewasstriking

againstthecalfofmylegateverystep,ortrippingupmy

heels.

IntheeveningIreachedthevillageofAtaquin�swithavery

catholicstomach.Iputupattheinn;and,asifImeantto

spendfreely,asked,inaloftytone,whattherewasforsupper.

Thelandlordexaminedmypretensionswithhiseye,andfinding

accordingtowhatclothmycoatwascut,saidwithtrue

publican’scivility—Yes,yes,myworthymaster,youshallhave

noreasontocomplain;wewilltreatyoulikealord.Withthis

assurance,heshowedmeintoalittleroom,whitherhebrought

me,aquarterofanhourafterwards,aragoutmadeofagreathe

cat,onwhichIfeastedwithasfamousanappetiteasifithad

beenhareorrabbit.Thisexcellentdishwaswasheddownbyso

choiceawine,thatthekinghadnobetterinhiscellars.I

foundout,however,thatitwaspricked;butthatwasno

hindrancetomydoingitasmuchhonourasthehecat.Thelast

articleinthisentertainmentforalordwasabedbetteradapted

todrivesleepawaythantoinviteit.Figureittoyourself

aboutthewidthofacoffin,andsoshortthatIcouldnot

stretchmylegs,thoughnoneofthelongest.Besides,therewas

neithermattressnorfeatherbed,butmerelyalittlestrawsewed

upinasheetfoldeddouble,whichwaslaiddowncleanforevery

hundredthtraveller,andservedtheotherninety-nine,oneafter

another,withoutwashing.Nevertheless,insuchabed,witha

stomachdistendedtoasurfeitbyfricasseedcat,andthenraked

bysourwine,thankstoyouthandagoodconstitution,Islept

soundly,andpassedthenightwithoutbeingdisturbed.

OnthefollowingdaywhenIhadbreakfasted,andpaidthe

reckoningasIhadbeentreated,likealord,Imadebutone

stagetoSegovia.Onmyarrival,Ihadthegoodfortunetofinda

shop,wheretheytookmeinformyboardandlodging;butIstaid

thereonlysixmonths;ajourneymanbarber,withwhomIgot

acquainted,wasgoingtoMadrid,anddrewmeintosetoffwith

him.Ihadnodifficultyinprocuringasituationonthesame

footingasatSegovia.Igotintoashopoftheverybestcustom.

Itistrue,itwasnearthechurchoftheHolyCross,andthat

theneighbourhoodofthePrince’sTheatrebroughtagreatdealof

business.Mymaster,twostirringfellows,andmyself,could

scarcelylatherthechinsofthepeoplewhocametobeshaved.

Theywereofalltradesandconditions;amongtherest,players

andauthors.Oneday,twopersonsofthelastdescription

happenedtomeet.Theybeganconversingaboutthepoetsand

piecesinvogue,whenoneofthemmentionedmyuncle’sname:a

circumstancewhichdrewmyattentionmoreparticularlytotheir

discourse.DonJuandeZavaleta,saidone,willneverdoanygood

asanauthor.Amanofacoldgenius,withoutasparkoffancy!

hehaswrittenhimselfdownataterribleratebyhislast

publication.AndLouisVelezdeGuevara,saidtheother,whathas

hedone?Afineworktobringbeforethepublic!Wasthereever

anythingsowretched?TheymentionedIknownothowmanypoets

besides,whosenamesIhaveforgotten:Ionlyrecollectthatthey

saidnogoodofthem.Asformyuncle,theymadeamore

honourablementionofhim,agreeingthathewasapersonageof

merit,Yes,saidone,DonPedrodelaFuentaisanexcellent

author;thereisaslyhumourinhiscompositions,blendedwith

solidsense,whichcommunicatesanatticpoignancytotheir

generaleffect.Iamnotsurprisedathispopularitybothin

courtandcity,noratthepensionssettledonhimbythegreat.

Formanyyearspast,saidtheother,hehasenjoyedaverylarge

income.HelivesattheDukedeMedinaCoeli’stable,andhasan

apartmentinhishouse,sothatheisatnoexpense:hemustbe

verywellintheworld.

Ilostnotasyllableofwhatthesepoetsweresayingaboutmy

uncle.Wehadlearntinthefamily,thathemadeanoisein

Madridbyhisworks;sometravellers,passingthroughOlm�do,had

toldusso;butashetooknonoticeofus,andseemedtohave

weanedhimselffromallnaturalties,weonoursidelivedina

stateofperfectindifferenceabouthim.Yetnaturewillprevail:

assoonasIhadheardthathewasinafairway,andhadlearned

wherehelived,Iwastemptedtogoandcalluponhim.Onething

staggeredmealittle;theliteratihadstyledhimDonPedro.

Thisdonwasanawkwardcircumstance:Ihadmydoubtswhetherhe

mightnotbesomeotherpoetofthename,andnotmyuncle.Yet

thatapprehensiondidnotdampmyardour.Ithoughthemighthave

beenennobledforhiswit,anddeterminedtopayhimavisit.For

thispurpose,withmymaster’sleave,Itrickedmyselfoutone

morningaswellasIcould,andsalliedfromourshop,alittle

proudofbeingnephewtoamanwhohadgainedsohighacharacter

byhisgenius.Barbersarenotthemostdiffidentpeopleinthe

world.Ibegantoconceivenomeanopinionofmyself;andriding

thehighhorsewithallthearroganceofgreatness,inquiredmy

waytotheDukedeMedinaCoeli’spalace.Irangatthegate,and

said,IwantedtospeakwithSignorDonPedrodelaFuenta.The

porterpointedwithhisfingertoanarrowstaircaseatthefag

endofthecourt,andanswered—Goupthere,thenknockatthe

firstdooronyourright.Ididashedirectedme;andknockedat

adoor.Itwasopenedbyayoungman,whomIaskedifthosewere

theapartmentsofSignorDonPedrodelaFuenta.Yes,answered

he,butyoucannotspeaktohimatpresent.Ishouldbevery

glad,saidI,justtosay,Howareyou?Ibringhimnewsofhis

family.Anyoubroughthimnewsofthepope,repliedhe,Icould

notintroduceyoujustnow.Heiswriting,andwhilehiswitsare

atwork,hemustnotbedisturbed.Hewillnotbeabletoreceive

companytillnoon;takeaturn,andcomebackaboutthattime.

Ideparted,andwalkedabouttownallthemorning,incessantly

meditatingonthereceptionmyunclewouldgiveme.Ithink,said

Iwithinmyself;hewillbeoverjoyedtoseeme.Imeasuredhis

feelingsbymyown,andpreparedmyselfforaveryaffecting

discovery.Ireturnedpunctuallytotheappointedhour.Youare

justintime,saidtheservant:mymasterwasgoingout.Wait

hereamoment:Iwillannounceyou.Withthesewords,heleftme

intheantechamber.Hereturnedalmostimmediately,andshowed

meintohismaster’sroom.Thefacestruckmeallatonceasa

familylikeness.Tobesurehewastheveryimageofmyuncle

Thomas;theymighthavebeentakenfortwins.Iboweddowntothe

ground,andintroducedmyselfasthesonofMasterNicholasdela

Fuenta,thebarberofOlm�do.Ilikewiseinformedhim,thatIhad

beenworkingatmyfather’stradeinMadrid,forthesethree

weeks,asajourneyman,andintendedmakingthetourofSpainto

completemyeducation.WhileIwasspeaking,myunclewas

evidentlyinabrownstudy.Heseemedtodoubtwhetherheshould

disownmeatonce,orgetridofmewithsomelittlesacrificeto

decency.Thelattercourseheadopted.Affectingtheaffable:

Well,mygoodkinsman,howareyourfatherandyouruncles?Do

theygetonintheworld?Ibeganthereuponbylayingbeforehim

thefamilyknackatpropagation.Allthechildren,maleand

female,calledoverbytheirnames,withtheirgodfathersand

godmothersincludedinthelist!Hetooknoextravagantinterest

intheparticularsofmytale;butleadingtohisownpurposes,

Diego,repliedhe,Iamquiteofyourmind.Youshouldgofrom

placetoplace,andseeavarietyofpractice.Iwouldnothave

youtarrylongeratMadrid:itisaverydangerousresidencefor

youth;youmaygetintobadhabits,mysweetfellow.Othertowns

willsuityoubetter;thestateofsocietyintheprovincesis

morepatriarchalandphilosophical.Determineonemigration;and

whenyourdepartureisfixed,comeandtakeyourleave.Iwill

contributeapistoletothetourofSpain.Withthiskind

assurance,hehandedmeoutoftheroom,andsentmepacking.

Ihadnotworldlywisdomenoughtofindoutthathewantedtoget

quitofme.Iwentbacktoourshop,andgavemymasteran

accountofthevisitIhadpaid.Helookednodeeperthanmyself

intoSignorDonPedro’smotives,andobserved:Icannothelp

differingfromyourworthyuncle,sofarfromadvisingyouto

traveltheprovinces,therealthingwouldbe,inmyopinion,to

giveyouacomfortablesettlementinthiscity.Heishandin

glovewiththefirstpeople;itisaneasymatterforhimto

establishyouinagreatfamily;andthatisafortuneatonce.

Struckwiththisluckydiscovery,whichseemedtosettlethe

pointwithoutdifficulty,Icalledonmyuncleagaintwodays

afterwards,andmadeaproposaltohimforasituationabout

someleadingcharacteratcourt.Butthehintwasnottaken

kindly.Aproudman,livingatfreequartersamongthegreat,and

diningwiththeminafamilyparty,didnotexactlywishthat,

whilehewassittingatmylord’stable,hisnephewshouldbea

guestintheservants’hall.LittleDiegomightbringascandal

onSignorDonPedro.Hehadnohesitation,therefore,infairly

turningmeoutofdoors,andthatwithafleainmyear.What,

youlittlerascal,saidheinafitofextravagance,doyoumean

torelinquishyourcalling?Begone,Iconsignyoutothereptile

whoseperniciouscounselswillbeyourruin.Takeyourleaveof

thesepremises,andneversetyourfootonthemagain,oryou

shallhavethereceptionyoudeserve!Iwasabsolutelystunnedat

thislanguage,andstillmoreattheperemptorytonemyuncle

assumed.WithtearsinmyeyesIwithdrew,quiteovercomebyhis

severity.Yet,asIhadalwaysbeenlivelyandconfidentinmy

temper,Isoonwipedawaymytears.Mygriefwaseventurnedinto

resentment,andIdeterminedtotakenofurthernoticeofthis

unnaturalrelative,whosekindofficesIhadhithertobeen

contentedtowant.

Myattentionwashenceforthdirectedtothecultivationofmy

professionaltalent;Iwasquiteaploddingfellowatmytrade.I

scrapedawayallday;andintheevening,bywayofrelieftomy

scraping,Itwangedtheguitar.Mymasteronthatinstrumentwas

anoldSenorEscuderowhomIshaved.Hetaughtmemusicin

return;andhewasanadept.Tobesurehehadformerlybeena

choristerinacathedral.HisnamewasMarcosdeObregon.Hewas

amanoftheworld,withgoodnaturalpartsandacquired

knowledge,whichjointlyinducedhimtofixonmeasanadopted

son.Hewasengagedasanattendantonaphysician’slady,

residentwithinthirtyyardsofourhouse.Iwenttohiminthe

evening,whenshopwasshut,andwetwo,sittingonthethreshold

ofthedoor,madeupalittleconcertnotdispleasingtothe

neighbourhood.Itwasnotthatourvoiceswereveryfine;butin

thrummingonthecatgut,wemadeaprettyregularaccompaniment

toourduet,andfilleduptheharmonysufficientlyforthe

gratificationofourhearers.Ourmusicwasparticularly

agreeabletoDonnaMergelina,thephysician’swife;shecameinto

thepassagetohearus,andsometimesencoredusinherfavourite

airs.Herhusbanddidnotinterferewithheramusement.Thougha

Spaniardandinyears,hewasnotpossessedwithjealousy;

besides,hisprofessiontookupallhistime;andashecamehome

intheevening,wornoutwithhisnumerousvisits,hewenttobed

atanearlyhour,withouttroublinghimselfabouthiswifeorour

concerts.Possibly,ifhethoughtaboutthematall,hemight

considerthemaslittlelikelytoproducedangerousconsequences.

Hehadanadditionalsecurityinhiswife.Mergelinawasyoung

andhandsomewithawitness;butofsofierceamodesty,thatshe

startedattheveryshadowofaman.Howcouldhetakeumbrageat

anamusementofsoharmlessanddecorousanature?Hegaveus

leavetosingourheartsout.

Oneevening,asIcametothephysician’sdoor,intendingtotake

myusualrecreation,Ifoundtheoldsquirewaitingforme.He

tookmebythehand:sayingthathewishedtotakealittlewalk

withmebeforewestruckupourlittleconcert.Atthesametime

hedrewmeasideintoaby-street,where,findinganopportunity

ofopeninghismind:Diego,mygoodlad,saidhewitha

melancholyair,Iwanttogiveyouahintinprivate.Imuch

fear,mygoodandamiableyouth,thatweshallbothhavereason

torepentofbeguilingoureveningswithlittlemusicalparties

atmymaster’sdoor.Relyonmysincerefriendship:Idonot

grudgeyourlessonsinsingingandontheguitar;butifIcould

haveforeseenthestormnowbrewing,inthenameofcharity!I

wouldhaveselectedsomeotherspottocommunicatemy

instructions.Thisaddressalarmedme.Ientreatedthegentle

squiretobemoreexplicit,andtotellmewhatwehadtofear;

forIwasnoHector,andthetourofSpainwasnotyetfinished.

Iwillrelatetoyou,repliedhe,whatitconcernsyoutoknow,

thatyoumaytakepropermeasureofourpresentdanger.

WhenIgotintotheserviceofthephysician,aboutayearago,

hesaidonemorning,afterhavingintroducedmetohiswife:

There,Marcos,youseeyourmistress;thatistheladyyouareto

accompanyinallherperegrinations.IwassmittenwithDonna

Mergelina:shewaslovelyintheextreme,amodelforanartist,

andherprincipalattractionwasthepleasantnessofher

deportment.Honouredsir,repliedItothephysician,itistoo

greatahappinesstobeinthetrainofsocharmingalady.My

answerwastakenamissbyMergelina,whosaidrathercrustily,A

pleasantgentlemanthis!Heisperfectlyfreeandeasy.Believe

me!Hisfinespeechesmaygoabeggingforme.Thesewords,

droppedfromsuchlovelylips,seemedratherinconsistent;the

mannersandideasofbumpkinsanddairy-maidscoupledwithall

thegracesofthemostlovelywomanintheworld!Asforher

husband,hewasusedtoherways;and,hugginghimselfonthe

unrivalledcharacterofhisrib,Marcos,saidhe,mywifeisa

miracleofchastity.Then,observingherputonherveil,and

makeherselfreadytogotomass,hetoldmetoattendonherat

church.Wewerenosoonerinthestreetthanwemet,anditwas

nowonder,bladeswho,struckwithDonnaMergelina’sgenteel

carriage,toldherathousandflatteringtalesastheypassedby.

Shewasnotbackwardinheranswers;butsillyandill-timed,

beyondwhatyoucanconceive.Theywereallinamaze,andcould

notimaginehowawomanshouldtakeitamisstobecomplimented.

Whyreally!madam,saidItoheratfirst,youhadbetterbe

silent,orshutyourearstotheiraddresses,thanreplywith

asperity.No,no,repliedshe:IwillteachthesecoxcombsthatI

amnotawomantoputupwithimpertinence.Inshort,her

absurditywentsofar,thatIcouldnothelptellinghermymind,

atthehazardofherdispleasure.Igavehertounderstand,yet

withthegreatestpossiblecaution,thatshewasunjustto

nature,whosehandiworkshemarredbyherpreposterousferocity;

thatawomanofmildandpolishedmannersmightinspirelove

withouttheaidofbeauty;whereastheloveliestofthesex,

divestedoffemalesoftness,wasindangerofbecomingthepublic

scorn.Tothisratiocination,Iaddedcollateralarguments,

alwaysdirectedtotheamendmentofhermanners.Afterhaving

moralizedtonopurpose,Iwasafraidmyfreedommightexasperate

mymistress,anddrawuponmesometauntingrepartee.

Neverthelessshedidnotmutinyagainstmyadvice;butsilently

rendereditofnoavail,andthuswewentonfromdaytoday.

Iwaswearyofpointingouthererrorstonopurpose,andgave

heruptotheferocioustemperamentofhernature.Yet,couldyou

thinkit?thesavagehumourofthatproudwomanisentirely

changedwithinthesetwomonths.Shehasakindwordforallthe

world,andmannersthemostaccommodating.Itisnolongerthe

sameMergelinawhogavesuchhomelyanswerstothecomplimentsof

herswains:sheisbecomeassailablebyflattery;lovestobe

toldsheishandsome,thatamancannotlookatherwithout

payingforit:herearsitchforfinespeeches,andsheisbecome

averywoman.Suchachangeisalmostinconceivable:andthebest

ofthejokeis,thatyouaretheworkerofthisunparalleled

miracle.Yes,mydearDiego,itisyouwhohavetransformedDonna

Mergelina;youhavesofteneddownthetigressintoadomestic

animal;inaword,youhavemadeherfeel.Ihaveobservedit

morethanonce;andnevertrustmyknowledgeofthesex,ifshe

isnotdesperatelyinlovewithyou.Such,mydearboy,isthe

melancholynewsIhavetocommunicate,theawkwardpredicamentin

whichwestand.

Idonotsee,saidIinmyturntotheoldman,thatthereis

anythingsomelancholyinthisaccident,oranypeculiar

awkwardnessinbeingtheobjectofaprettywoman’spartiality.

Ah!Diego,repliedhe,youarguelikeayoungman:youonlysee

thebait,withoutguardingagainstthehook:pleasureisyour

lure;whilemythoughtsaredirectedtotheunpleasant

circumstancesattendingit.Murderwillout.Ifyougoonsinging

atourdoor,youwillprovokeMergelina’spassion;andshe

probably,losingallcommandoverherself;willbetrayher

weaknesstoherhusband,DoctorOloroso.Thatwretchedhusband,

socomplyingnowthathethinksthereisnogroundforjealousy,

willrunwild,takesignalvengeanceuponher,andperhapsplay

somedog’strickorothertoyouandme.Well,then!rejoinedI,

yourreasonsshallbeconclusivewithme,andyoursagecounsels

myrule.LaydownthelineofconductIamtoadoptforthe

preventionofanyleft-handedcatastrophe.Wewillhavenomore

concerts,washisperemptorydecree.Donotshowyourselfany

moretomymistress:whenthesightofyoudoesnotinflameher,

shewillrecoverhercomposure.Staywithindoors:Iwillcallin

uponyou,andwewilltorturetheguitarwithimpunity.Withall

myheart,saidI,andIwillneversetmyfootagaininyour

premises.Ingoodtruth,Iwasdeterminedtoserenadenolonger

beforethephysician’sdoor,buthenceforthtokeepwithinthe

precinctsofmyshop,sincemyattractionsasamanwereso

formidable.

InthemeantimegoodSquireMarcos,withallhisprudence,

experiencedinthecourseofafewdaysthattheplanhehad

devisedtoquenchDonnaMergelina’sflameproducedadirectly

oppositeeffect.Theladyonthesecondnightnothearingme

sing,askedwhywehaddiscontinuedourconcerts,andthereason

ofmyabsence.HetoldherIwassobusyasnottohaveamoment

tospareforrelaxation.Sheseemedsatisfiedwiththatexcuse,

andforthreedayslongerborethedisappointmentofallher

hopeslikeaheroine;butattheendofthatperiod,mymartyrto

thetenderpassionlostallpatience,andsaidtoherconductor-

-Youareplayingfalsewithme,Marcos;Diegohasnot

discontinuedhisvisitswithoutacause.Thismysterymustbe

unravelled.Speak,Icommandyou;concealnothingfromme.Madam,

answeredhe,makinguseofanothersubterfuge,sincethetruth

mustbetold,ithasoftenhappenedtohimtofindthecloth

takenawayathomeaftertheconcert;hecannotruntheriskany

longerofgoingtobedwithouthissupper.What,withouthis

supper!exclaimedsheinanagony,whydidnotyoutellmeso

sooner?Gotobedwithouthissupper!Oh!thepoorlittle

sufferer!Gotohimthisinstant,andlethimcomeagainthis

evening;heshallnotgohomestarvinganymore,thereshall

alwaysbealuncheonforhim.

WhatdoIhear?saidthesquire,affectingastonishmentatthis

language;ohheaven,whatareverse!Isthisyou,madam,andare

theseyoursentiments?Well-a-day!Sincewhenareyouso

compassionateandtender-hearted?Since,repliedshe

significantly,sinceyouhavelivedinthishouse,orrather

sinceyoudisapprovedmydisdainfulmanners,andhavelabouredto

softentheacrimonyofmytemper.But,alas!addedshe,ina

meltingmood,Ihavegonefromoneextremetotheother.Proud

andinsensibleasIwas,Iambecometoosusceptible,tootender.

IamenamouredofyouryoungfriendDiego,andIcannothelp

myself;hisabsence,farfromallayingmyardour,onlyaddsfuel

tothefire.Isitpossible,resumedtheoldman,thatayoung

fellowwithneitherfacenorpersonshouldhaveinspiredso

strongapassion?Icouldmakeallowanceforyourfeelings,if

theyhadbeensetafloatbysomenoblemanofdistinguishedmerit

—Ah!Marcos,interruptedMergelina,Iamnotliketherestof

mysex;orrather,spiteofyourlongexperience,your

penetrationisbutshallowifyoufancymerittohavemuchshare

inourchoice.Judgingbymyself,weallleapbeforewelook.

Loveisamentalderangement,forciblydrawingallourviewsand

attachmentsintoonevortex;aspeciesofhydrophobia.Havedone

thenwithyourhintsthatDiegoisnotworthyofmytenderness;

thathehasitisenough,toinvesthimwithathousand

perfectionstooaetherialforyourgrosssight,andperhapstoo

unsubstantialforanybutalover’sperception.Invainyou

disparagehisfeaturesorhisstature;inmyeyeshewascreated

toundo,andencircledbythehandofnaturewiththegloriesof

theopeningday.Nay,more,thereisathrillingsweetnessinhis

voice;histouchontheguitarhasthetasteofanamateur,and

theexecutionofaprofessor.But,madam,subjoinedMarcos,do

youconsiderwhoDiegois?Themeannessofhisstation—Myown

isverylittlebetter,interruptedsheagain;thoughwereIof

noblebirth,itwouldmakenodifferenceinmysensations.

Theresultofthatconferencewasthatthesquire,concludinghe

shouldmakenoimpressiononthemindofhismistress,gaveover

strugglingwithherobstinacy,asaskilfulpilotrunsbeforethe

storm,thoughitcarrieshimouttoseafromhisintendedport.

Hedidmore:tosatisfyhispatronesshepaidmeavisit,tookme

aside,andafterhavingrelatedwhathadpassedbetweenthem

—Yousee,Diego,saidhe,thatwecannotdispensewiththe

performanceofourconcertsatMergelina’sdoor.Absolutely,my

friend,thatladymustseeyouagain;otherwiseshemaycommit

someactofdesperationfataltohergoodname.Iwasnot

inexorable,butansweredMarcosthatIwouldattendwithmy

guitarearlyintheevening;anddispatchedhimtohismistress

withthehappytidings.Heexecutedhisoffice,andthe

impassioneddamewasoutofherwitswithjoy,inthedelicious

prospectofhearingandseeingmeinafewhours.

Amostdisagreeablecircumstance,however,wasverynear

disappointingherinthathope.Icouldnotleavehomebefore

night,andformysins,itwasdarkaspitch.Iwentgroping

alongthestreet,andhadgot,maybe,halfway,whendownfroma

windowcameuponmyheadthecontentsofaperfumingpan,which

didnotticklemyolfactorynervesverypleasantly.Imaysay

thatnotawhiffwaswasted,soexactlyhadthegivertaken

measureofthereceiver.InthissituationIwasatalosson

whattoresolve:togobackbythewayIcame,whatanexhibition

beforemycomrades!Itwassurrenderingmyselftoalltheirnasty

witticisms.Thenagain,gotoMergelinainsuchaglorioustrim,

thathurtmyfeelingsontheotherside.Idetermined,atlength,

togetontowardsthephysician’s.Theoldusherwaswaitingfor

meatthedoor.HesaidthatDoctorOlorosowasgonetobed,and

wemightamuseourselvesasweliked.Iansweredthatthefirst

thingwastopurifymydrapery,atthesametimerelatingmy

misfortune.Heseemedtofeelforme,andshowedmeintoahall

wherehismistresswassitting.Assoonastheladygotwindof

myadventure,andhadconfirmedthetestimonyofhernosebythe

evidenceofhereyes,shemournedovermeasgrievouslyasifmy

miserieshadbeenmortal;then,apostrophisingtheabsentcause

ofmyfoularray,sheutteredathousandimprecations.Well,but

madam!saidMarcos,domoderatethisecstacyofgrief;consider

thatsuchcasualtieswillhappen,thereisnooccasiontotakeon

sobitterly.Why,exclaimedshewithvehemence,whywouldyou

debarmefromtheprivilegeofweepingovertheinjuriesofthis

tenderlamb,thisdovewithoutgall,whodoesnotsomuchas

murmurattheaffronthehassustained?Alas!whyamInotaman

atthismomenttoavengehim!

Sheutterednumberlesssoothingexpressionsbesides,tomark

distinctlytheexcessofherdevotion,andheractions

correspondedwithherwords;forwhileMarcoswasemployedin

wipingmedownwithatowel,sheranintoherchamberandbrought

outaboxfurnishedwitheveryvarietyofperfumes.Sheburned

sweet-smellingdrugs,andperfumedmyclotheswiththem,after

whichshedrenchedmeinadelugeofessences.Thefumigationand

aspersionended,thisbountifulladywentherselfandfetched

fromthekitchenbread,wine,andsomegoodslicesofroast

mutton,setbyonpurposeforme.Sheforcedmetoeat,and

takingapleasureinwaitingonme,sometimescarvedforme,and

sometimesfilledmyglass,inspiteofallthatMarcosand

myselfcoulddotoanticipatehercondescension.WhenIhaddone

supper,thegentlemenoftheorchestrastruckthekeynote,and

tunedtheirsweetvoicestothepitchoftheirguitars.Weplayed

andsungtotheheart’sdelightofMergelina.Tobesurewetook

caretocarolnonebutamorousditties;andaswesung,Ievery

nowandthenleeredatherwithsucharoguishmeaning,asto

throwoiluponthefire,forthegamebegantobeinteresting.

Theconcert,thoughtheactswerelong,wasnottedious.Asfor

thelady,towhomhoursseemedtoflylikeseconds,shecould

havebeencontenttoexhaustthenightinlistening,iftheold

squire,withwhomthesecondsseemedtolaglikehours,hadnot

hintedhowlateitwas.Shegavehimthetroubleofenforcinghis

moralonthelapseoftimebyatleasttenrepetitions.Butshe

wasinthehandsofamannottobeturnedasidefromhis

purpose,heletherhavenoresttillIwasgone.Sensibleand

providentashewas,seeinghismistressgivenuptoamad

passion,hedreadedlestourharmonyshouldberesolvedbysome

discord.Hisfearswereominous:thephysician,whetherhismind

misgavehimoffoulplay,orthespiritofjealousy,hithertoon

itsgoodbehaviour,hadamindtoharasshimgratuitously,

bethoughthimselfofquarrellingwithourconcerts.Hedidmore,

heputabroadnegativeuponthem;and,withoutassigninghis

reasonsforactinginthisviolentway,declaredthathewould

suffernomorestrangerstocomeabouthispremises.

Marcosacquaintedmewiththismortifyingdeclaration,

particularlylevelledagainstmyrisinghopes.Ihadbegun

bobbingatthisdaintycherry,anddidnotliketolosemygame.

Nevertheless,toactthepartofafaithfulreporterandtrue

historian,Imustownmyimpatiencedidnotaffectmyhealthor

spirits.NotsowithMergelina,herfeelingsweremorealivethan

ever.MydearMarcos,saidshetoherusher,itisonlyfromyou

thatIlookforsuccour.Contrive,Ibeseechyou,thatImaysee

Diegoinprivate.Whatdoyourequire?askedtheoldmanwitha

reproachfulaccent.Ihavebeenbuttooindulgenttoyou.Iam

notapersontocrownyourwantonwishesattheexpenseofmy

master’shonour,yourgoodfame,andmyowneternalinfamy;the

infamyofamanwhosepastlifehasbeenonecontinuedseriesof

faithfulserviceandexemplaryconduct.Ihadratherleavethe

familythanstayinitonsuchscandalousconditions.Alas!

Marcos,interruptedthelady,frightenedoutofherwitsatthese

lastwords,youwringmyheartbytalkinginthismanner.

Obdurateman!Canyoubearthethoughtofsacrificingherwho

laysallherpresentagonytoyouraccount?Givemebackmy

formerpride,andthatsavagesoulyouhavetakenfromme.Whyam

Inolongerhappyinmyveryimperfections?Imightnowhavebeen

atpeace,butyourrashcounselshaverobbedmeofthereposeI

thenenjoyed.You,thecorrectorofmymanners,havetampered

withmymorals—ButwhydoIrave,unhappywretchasIam?why

upbraidyouthuswrongfully?No,myguardianangel,youarenot

thefatalsourceofmymiseries;myevildestinyhaddecreed

thesetorturestoawaitme.Laynottoheart,Iconjureyouonmy

knees,thesetransportsofadisorderedimagination.Ohmercy!my

passiondrivesmemad,havecompassiononmyweakness;youaremy

solesupportandstay:ifthenmylifeisnotindifferenttoyou,

denymenotyouraid.

Atthesewordshertearsflowedinfreshtorrents,andstifled

herlugubriousaccents.Shetookoutherhandkerchief,and

throwingitoverherface,fellintoachair,likeaperson

overcomebyheraffliction.OldMarcos,whowasperhapsoneof

themosttractablego-betweensintheworld,couldnolonger

steelhisheartagainstsotouchingaspectacle.Piercedtothe

quick,heevenmingledhistearswiththoseofhismistress,and

spoketoherinasoftenedtone—Ah!madam,whyareyouthus

bewitching!Icannotholdoutagainstyoursorrowfulcomplaints,

myvirtueyieldsunderthepressureofmypity.Ipromiseyouall

thereliefinmypower.NolongerdoImarvelattheoblivious

influenceofpassionoverduty,sincemeresympathycanmislead

myfootstepsfromitsthornypaths.Thusdidthispander,whose

pastlifehadbeenonecontinuedseriesoffaithfulserviceand

exemplaryconduct,sellhimselftothedeviltofeedMergelina’s

illicitflame.Onemorninghecameandtalkedoverthewhole

businesswithme,sayingathisdeparture,thathehadascheme

inhishead,tobringaboutaprivateinterviewbetweenus.At

thethoughtmyhopeswereallre-kindled,buttheyglimmered

tremblinglyinthesocketatapieceofnewsIheardtwohours

afterwards.Ajourneymanapothecaryintheneighbourhood,oneof

ourcustomers,cameintobeshaved.WhileIwasmakingreadyto

trimhisbushyhonours,hesaid—MasterDiego,doyouknow

anythingaboutyourfriend,theoldusher,MarcosdeObregon?Is

henotgoingtoleaveDoctorOloroso?Isaid,No.Butheis

though,repliedhe;hewillgethisdismissionthisveryday.His

masterandmineweretalkingaboutitjustnowinmyhearing,and

theirconversationwastothefollowingeffect:—Signor

Apuntador,saidthephysician,Ihaveafavourtobegofyou.I

amnoteasyaboutanoldusherofmine,andshouldliketoplace

mywifeundertheeyeofatrusty,strict,andvigilantduenna.I

understandyou,interruptedmymaster.YouwantDameMelancia,my

wife’sdirectress,andindeedmineforthelastsixweeks,since

Ihavebeenawidower.Thoughshewouldbeveryusefultomein

housewifery,Igiveheruptoyou,fromaparamountregardto

yourhonour.Youmayrelyuponherforthesecurityofyourbrow;

sheisthephoenixoftheduennatribe—aspring-gunandaman-trapsetinthepurlieusoffemalechastity.Duringtwelvewhole

yearsthatshewasaboutmywife,whoseyouthandbeauty,you

know,werenotwithouttheirattractions,Ineversawtheleast

semblanceofmanhoodwithinmydoors.No,no!byallthepowers!

Thatgamewasnotsoeasilyplayed.AndyetImustletyouknow

thatthedepartedsaint,heavenresthersoul!hadintheoutset

agreathankeringafterthedelightsoftheflesh;butDame

Melanciacastherinanewmould,andregeneratedhertovirtue

andself-denial.Inshort,suchaguardianoftheweakersexisa

treasure,andyouwillneverhavedonethankingmeformy

preciousgift.Hereuponthedoctorexpressedhisraptureatthe

issueoftheconference;andtheyagreed,SignorApuntadorand

he,ontheduenna’ssucceedingtheoldusheronthisveryday.

Thisnews,whichIthoughtprobable,andturnedouttobetrue,

disturbedthepleasurableideas,justbeginningtoflowafresh,

andrenovatemysoul.Afterdinner,Marcoscompletedthe

convulsion,byconfirmingtheyoungdrugpounder’sstory:Mydear

Diego,saidthegoodsquire,IamheartilygladthatDoctor

Olorosohasturnedmeoff;itsparesmeaworldoftrouble.

Besidesthatithurtmyfeelingstobeinvestedwiththeoffice

ofaspy,endlessmusthavebeentheshiftsandsubterfugesto

bringyouandMergelinatogetherinprivate.Weshouldhavebeen

rarelygravelled!Thankstoheaven,Iamsetfreefromallsuch

perplexingcares,tosaynothingoftheirattendantdanger.On

yourpart,mydearboy,yououghttobecomfortedforthelossof

afewsoftmoments,whichmusthavebeendoggedattheheelsbya

thousandfearsandvexations.IrelishedMarcos’sermonwell

enough,becausemyhopeswereatanend,thegamewaslost.Iwas

not,itmustbeconfessed,amongthenumberofthosestubborn

loverswhobearupagainsteveryimpediment;butthoughIhad

beenso,DameMelanciawouldhavemademeletgomyhold.The

establishedcharacterofthatduennawouldhavedauntedthe

adventurousspiritofaknight-errant.Yet,inwhatevercolours

thisphoenixoftheduennatribemighthavebeenpainted,Ihad

reasontoknow,twoorthreedaysafterwards,thatthe

physician’sladyhadunsettheman-trapandspring-gun,andgiven

astoptothiswatch-dogoflubricity.AsIwasgoingoutto

shaveoneofourneighbours,aciviloldgentlewomanstoppedme

inthestreet,andaskedifmynamewasDiegodelaFuenta.I

said,Yes.Thatbeingthecase,repliedshe,Ihavealittle

businesswithyou.PlaceyourselfthiseveningatDonna

Mergelina’sdoor;andwhenyouarethere,giveasignal,andyou

shallbeletin.Vastlywell!saidI,whatmustthesignalbe?I

cantakeoffacattothelife:supposeIwastomewacertain

numberoftimes?Theverything,repliedthisIrisofintrigue;I

willcarrybackyouranswer.Yourmostobedient,SignorDiego!

Heavenprotectthesweetyouth!Ah!youareaprettyone!BySt

Agnes,IwishIwasbutsweetfifteen,Iwouldnotgotomarket

forotherfolks!Withthishint,theoldprocuresswaddledoutof

sight.

Youmaybesurethismessageputmeinnosmallflutter.Where

nowwasthemoralityofMarcos?Iwaitedfornightwith

impatience,and,calculatingthetimeofDrOloroso’sgoingto

bed,tookmystationathisdoor.ThereIsetupmycaterwauling,

tillyoumighthearmeeversofaroff,totheeternalhonourof

themasterwhoinstructedmeinthatimitativeart.Amoment

afterMergelinaopenedthedoorsoftlywithherowndearhands,

andshutitagainwithmeontheinside.Wewentintothehall,

whereourlastconcerthadbeenperformed.Itwasdimlylighted

byasmalllamp,whichtwinkledinthechimney.Wesatdownside

byside,andbeganourtenderparley,eachofusovercomebyour

emotions,butwiththisdifference;thatherswereallinspired

bypleasure,whilemineweresomewhattaintedbyfear.Invain

didthedivinityofmyadorationsassuremethatwehadnothing

tofearfromherhusband.Ifelttheaccessofanague,which

unmannedmyvigour.Madam,saidI,howhaveyoueludedthe

vigilanceofyourdirectress?AfterwhatIhaveheardofDame

Melancia,Icouldnothaveconceiveditpossibleforyouto

contrivethemeansofsendingmeanyintelligence,muchlessof

seeingmeinprivate.DonnaMergelinasmiledatthisremark,and

answered:Youwillnolongerbesurprisedatourbeingtogether

to-night,whenItellyouwhathaspassedbetweenmyduennaand

me.Assoonasshecametoherplace,myhusbandpaidhera

thousandcompliments,andsaidtome:Mergelina,Iconsignyouto

theguidanceofthiswarylady,herselfanabstractofallthe

virtues:inthisglassyoumaylookwithoutablush,andarray

yourselfinhabitsofwisdom.Thisextraordinarypersonagehas

forthesetwelveyearsbeenalighttothewaysofan

apothecary’swifeofmyacquaintance;buthowhasshebeena

lighttothem?—why,aswaysneverwereenlightenedbefore:she

turnedaveryslipperypieceofmortalfleshintoadownright

nun.

Thispanegyric,notbeliedbytheausteremienofDameMelancia,

costmeafloodoftears,andreducedmetodespair.Ifancied

thedinofeternallecturesfrommorningtillnight,anddaily

rebukestooharshtobeendured.Inshort,Ilaidmyaccountina

lifeofwretchedness,beyondthepatienceofawoman.Keepingno

measuresintheexpectationofsuchcruelsufferings,Isaid

bluntlytotheduenna,themomentIwasalonewithher:Youmean,

nodoubt,toexerciseyourtyrannymostwantonlyonmypoor

person;butIcannotbearmuchseverity,Iwarnyoubeforehand.

Igiveyou,moreover,fairnotice,thatIshallbeassavageas

youcanbe.Myheartcherishesapassion,whichnotallyour

remonstrancesshalltearfromit:soyoumayactaccordingly.

Watchmeascloselyasyouplease;itishardifIcannotoutwit

suchanoldthingasyou.Atthesetauntingwords,Ithoughtthis

saraceninpetticoatswasgoingtogivemeaspecimenofher

discipline.Butsofarfromit,shesmoothedherbrow,relaxed

hersurlyfeatures,andprimminguphermouthintoasmile,

promulgatedthiscomfortabledoctrine:Yourtempercharmsme,and

yourfranknesscallsforareturn.Wemusthavebeenmadeforone

another.Ah!lovelyMergelina,littledoyoufathommycharacter,

tobedeceivedbythefinecomplimentsofyourhusbandthe

Doctor,orbymyTartarcontour.Thereneverwasacreaturemore

fortifiedagainstmoralprejudices!Myinducementforgetting

intotheserviceofjealoushusbandsistolendmyselftothe

enjoymentsoftheirprettywives.LonghaveItroddenthestage

oflifeinmasquerade;andImaycallmyselfdoublyhappy,inthe

spiritualrewardsofvirtue,andthetemporalindulgencesofthe

oppositeside.Betweenourselves,mineisthesystemofall

mankindinthelongrun.Realvirtueisaveryexpensivearticle;

platedgoodslookjustaswell,andarewithinthereachofall

purchasers.

Putyourselfundermydirection.WewillmakeDoctorOlorosopay

thepipertoourdancing,orIamnoduenna.Bymytroth,he

shallgothewayofSignorApuntadorandallmankind.Thereisno

reasonwhytheforeheadofaphysicianshouldbesmootherthan

thebrowofanapothecary.PoordearApuntador!Whatfunhavewe

hadwithhim,hiswifeandI!Acharmingwoman,thatwifeofhis!

Adearlittlecreature,opentoallmankind,andprejudicedby

none!Well!sheisatpeace,andhasnotleftherfellowbehind

her!Takemyword,shortashertimewas,shemadethemostof

it.Letmeseehowmanyrampantchapshavebeenbroughttotheir

bearingsinthathouse,withoutthedeardeludedhusbandbeing

wakedoutofhisevening’snap!Now,madam,youmayseemeinmy

truelight;andassureyourself,whatevermightbetheabilities

ofyouroldusher,youwillnotfaretheworseforgoingfurther.

Ifhewasabenefittoyou,Ishallbeablessing.

Youmayjudgeforyourself,Diego,continuedMergelina,howwell

Itookitoftheduenna,thatshelaidherselfopensofrankly.I

hadtakenhervirtuetobeoftheimpenetrablecast.Lookyou

now,howmuchwomenareliabletobescandalized.Buther

characterofplaindealingwonmyheartatonce.Ithrewmyarms

aboutherneckinarapture,whichbespokemywarmandtender

feelingsatthethoughtsofsuchamotherabbess.Igaveher

carteblancheofallmyprivatethoughts,andputinforaspeedy

t�te-�-t�tewithyourowndearself.Shemetmeonmyownground.

Thisverymorningsheengagedtheoldwomanwhospoketoyou,to

takethefield:sheisanoldstager,aveteranintheserviceof

theapothecary’swife.Butthebestofthejokeinthiscomedy,

addedsheinaparoxysmoflaughter,isthatMelancia,onmy

assurancethatmyhusband’shabitistopassthenightwithout

stirring,isgonetobedbyhisside,anddronesoutmyuseless

officeatthismoment.Somuchtheworse,madam,saidIthento

Mergelina;yourdeviceismoreplausiblethanprofitable.Your

husbandisverylikelytowake,anddiscoverthefraud.Hewill

notdiscoveranythingaboutit,repliedshewithnolittle

urgency;setyourheartatrestaboutthat,andletnotanempty

fearpoisonthefountainsofapleasure,whichoughttodrown

everyvulgarandearthlyconsiderationinthearmsofayoung

ladywhoisyoursforeverandever.

Theolddoctor’shelpmate,findingthatherassuranceshad

littleeffectuponmycourage,leftnostoneunturnedtoputme

inheartagain;andshehadsomanyencouragingwayswithher,

thataverycowardmusthavepluckedupalittle.Mythoughts

wereallwithJupiterandAlcmena;butattheverymomentthat

theurchinCupid,withhistrainofsmilesandantics,was

weavingagarlandtocomplimentthecrisisofourendeavours,we

werestoppedinourcareerbyanimportunateknockingatthe

streetdoor.Inamoment,awayflewloveandallhiscovey,like

gameatthereportofafowling-piece.Mergelinapoppedmelike

anarticleofhouseholdfurnitureunderthehalltable,blewout

thelamp,and,bypreviousagreementwithhergoverness,inthe

eventofsounluckyanaccident,placedherselfatthedoorof

herhusband’sbedchamber.Inthemeantime,theknocking

continuedwithreiteratedviolence,tillthewholehouse

resounded.Thephysicianawokesuddenly,andcalledMelancia.The

duennaflungherselfoutofbed,thoughthedoctor,takingher

forhiswife,beggedofhernottodisturbherself.Sheranto

hermistress,who,catchingholdofherinthedark,began

callingMelancia!andtoldhertogoandseewhowasatthedoor.

Madam,answeredthedirectress,hereIamatyourservice,goto

bedagainifyouplease;youshallsoonknowwhoitis.During

thisparley,Mergelinahavingundressed,gotintobedtothe

doctor,whohadnottheleastsuspicionofthefarcethatwas

playing.Tobesurethestagewasdarkened,andtheactresseshad

verylittleoccasionforaprompter;oneofthemwasfamiliar

withtheboards,andtheotherwantedonlyarehearsalortwoto

beperfectinherpart.

Theduenna,inhernight-gown,madeherappearancesoonafter,

withacandleinherhand—Gooddoctor,saidshetohermaster,

havethegoodnesstogetup.OurneighbourFernandezdeBuendia,

thebookseller,isinanapoplecticfit:youaresentfor;time

presses.Thephysiciangotonhisclothesasfastashecould,

andwentout.Hiswife,inherbed-gown,cameintothehallwith

theduenna.Theydraggedmefromunderthetablemoredeadthan

alive.Youhavenothingtofear,Diego,saidMergelina,put

yourselfinproperorder.Atthesametimeshetoldmehowthings

wereintwowords.Shehadhalfamindtorenewouramorous

intercourse;butthedirectressknewbetter.Madam,saidshe,

yourhusbandmaypossiblybetoolatetohelpthebooksellerto

theotherworld,andthenhewillreturnimmediately.Besides,

addedshe,observingmebenumbedwithfright,itwouldbeall

lostlabouruponthispooryouth!Heisnotinaconditionto

answeryourdemands.Youhadbettersendhimhome,anddeferthe

debatetillto-morrowevening.DonnaMergelinawassorryforthe

delay,aswellknowingthatabirdinhandisworthtwointhe

bush;andIflattermyselfshewasdisappointedatnotputtinga

cuckold’snightcaponthedoctor’shead.

Asforme,lessgrievedathavingdrawnablankinthelotteryof

love,thanrejoicedatgettingmyneckoutofanhalter,I

returnedtomymaster’s,whereIpassedtheremainderofthe

nightinmoralizingonthesceneIhadleft.Forsometime,Iwas

indoubtwhethertokeepmyappointmentonthefollowingevening.

Ithoughtitwasafoolishbusinessfromfirsttolast;butthe

devil,whoisalwayslurkingforhisprey,orrathertaking

possessionofusashislawfulproperty,whisperedinmyearthat

Ishouldbeagreatfooltopackupmyallswhentheprizewas

fallingintomyhands.Mergelinatoowithopeningand

unfathomablecharms!Theexquisitepleasuresthatawaitedme!I

determinedtosticktomytext;andpromisingmyselfalarger

shareofself-possession,tookmystationthenexteveningatthe

doctor’sdoor,betweenelevenandtwelve,inamostspirit-stirringhumour.Theheavenswerecompletelydarkened,notastar

toprateofmywhereabout.Imewedtwiceorthricetogive

warningofmybeinginthestreet;and,asnooneansweredmy

signal,Iwasnotsatisfiedwithgoingovertheoldground,but

ranupanddownthecat’sgamutfrombasstotreble,andfrom

trebletobass,justasIusedtosol-fawithashepherdof

Olm�do.Itunedmyfundamentalbasssomusically,thata

neighbour,onhisreturnhome,takingmeforoneofthoseanimals

whosemewingsIcounterfeited,pickedupanunluckyflintlying

athisfeet,andthrewitatmewithallhisforce,saying—

Thedevilfetchthattomcat!Ireceivedtheblowonmyhead,and

wassostunnedforthemoment,thatIwasverynearfalling

backwards.Ifoundtheskinwasbroken.Thiswasenoughinall

consciencetogivemeasurfeitofgallantry;sothat,mypassion

oozingoutwithmyblood,Imadethebestofmywayhomewards,

whereIrenderednighthideousbymyhowling,andknockedallthe

familyup.Mymasterprobedmywound,andplayedthetruesurgeon

onit;hepronouncedtheconsequencestobeuncertain.Hedidall

hecouldtomakethemcertain;butfleshwillhealinspiteof

thefaculty;andtherewasnotascarremaininginthreeweeks.

Duringallthistime,IheardnotawordfromMergelina.The

probabilityisthatDameMelancia,toweanherimpurethoughts

fromme,engagedherinsomebettersport.However,Ididnot

concernmyselfaboutthematter;butleftMadridtocontinuemy

tourofSpain,assoonasIfoundmyselfperfectlyrecovered.

CH.VIII.—ThemeetingofGilBlasandhiscompanionwithaman

soakingcrustsofbreadataspring,andtheparticularsoftheir

conversation.

SIGNORDiegodelaFuentarelatedsomeotheradventureswhichhad

sincehappenedtohim;buttheyweresolittleworthyof

preservation,thatIshallpassthembyinsilence.Yettherewas

nogettingridoftherecital,whichwastediousenough:it

lastedasfarasPontedeDuero.Wehaltedinthattownthe

remainderoftheday.Ourcommonsattheinnconsistedofa

vegetablesoupandaroasthare,whosegenusandspecieswetook

especialpainstoverify.Atdaybreakonthefollowingmorningwe

resumedourjourney,afterhavingreplenishedourflaskwithsome

verytolerablewine,andourwalletwithsomepiecesofbread,

andhalftheharewehadleftatsupper.

Whenwehadgoneabouttwoleagueswewaxedhungry;and,espying

atabouttwohundredyardsfromthehighroadsomespreading

trees,whichthrewanagreeableshadeovertheplain,wemadeup

tothespot,andrestedonourarms.Therewemetwithamanfrom

seventoeightandtwenty,whowasdippingcrustsofbreadintoa

spring.Hehadalongswordlyingbyhimonthegrass,witha

soldier’sknapsack,ofwhichhehadeasedhisshoulders.We

thoughthisairandpersonbetterthanhisattire.Weaccosted

himwithcivility;andhereturnedoursalutation.Hethen

offeredushiscrusts,andaskedwithasmileifwewouldtake

potluckwithhim.Weansweredintheaffirmative,providedhehad

noobjectiontoourclubbingourownbreakfast,bywayofmaking

themealmoresubstantial.Heagreedtoitwiththeutmost

readiness,andweimmediatelyproducedourprovisions;whichwere

notunacceptabletothestranger.Whatisallthis,gentlemen,

exclaimedheinatransportofjoy,hereisammunitionforan

army!Byyourforecast,youmustbecommissariesor

quartermasters.Idonottravelwithsomuchcontrivance,formy

part;butdependagooddealonthechancesoftheroad.Atthe

sametime,thoughappearancesmaybeagainstme,Icansay,

withoutvanity,thatIsometimesmakeaverybrilliantfigurein

theworld.Wouldyoubelievethatprincelyhonoursarecommonly

bestowedonme,andthatIhaveguardsinattendance?I

comprehendyou,saidDiego;youmeantotellus,youarea

player.Youguessright,repliedtheother;Ihavebeenanactor

forthesefifteenyearsatleast.Frommyveryinfancy,Iwas

sentontheboardsinchildren’sparts.Todealfreely,rejoined

thebarber,shakinghishead,Idonotbelieveawordofit.I

knowtheplayers;thosegentrydonottravelonfoot,likeyou,

nordotheymesswithStAnthony.Idoubtwhetheryouare

anythingbetterthanacandle-snuffer.Youmay,quoththesonof

Thespis,thinkofmeasyouplease;butmyparts,forallthat,

areinthefirstline;Iplaythelovers.Ifthatbethecase,

saidmycompanion,Iwishyoumuchjoy,andamdelightedthat

SignorGilBlasandmyselfhavethehonourofbreakfastingwith

soeminentacharacter.

Wethenbegantopickupourcrumbs,andtognawtheprecious

relicsofthehare,bestowingsuchheartysmacksuponthebottle,

astoemptyitveryshortly.Wewereallthreesodeeplyengaged

inthegreataffairofeating,thatwesaidverylittletillwe

hadfinished,whenweresumedourconversation.Iwonder,said

thebarbertotheplayer,thatyoushouldbesomuchoutat

elbows.Foratheatricalhero,youhavebutaneedyexterior!I

begpardonifIspeakratherfreely.Ratherfreely!exclaimedthe

actor;Ah!bymytroth,youarenotyetacquaintedwithMelchior

Zapata.Heavenbepraised,Ihavenomindtoseethingsina

wronglight.Youdomeapleasurebyspeakingsoconfidently:for

Ilovetounbosommyselfwithoutreserve.IhonestlyownIamnot

rich.Here,pursuedhe,showingushisdoubletlinedwith

playbills,thisisthecommonstuffwhichservesmeforlinings;

andifyouarecurioustoseemywardrobe,youshallnotbe

disappointed.Atthesametimehetookoutofhisknapsacka

dress,lacedwithtarnishedfrippery,ashabbyhead-dressforan

hero,withanoldplumeoffeathers;silkstockingsfullof

holes,andredmoroccoshoesagreatdealtheworseforwear.You

see,saidheagain,thatIamverylittlebetterthanabeggar.

Thatisastonishing,repliedDiego:thenyouhaveneitherwife

nordaughter?Ihaveaveryhandsomeyoungwife,rejoinedZapata,

andyetImightjustaswellbewithouther.Lookwithaweonthe

loweringaspectofmyhoroscope.Imarriedapersonableactress,

inthehopethatshewouldnotletmedieofhunger;and,tomy

cost,sheiscursedwithincorruptiblechastity.Whothedevil

wouldnothavebeentakeninaswellasmyself?Therewasbutone

virtuousprincessinawholestrollingcompany,andshe,plague

takeher!fellintomyhands.Itwasthrowingwithbadluckmost

undoubtedly,saidthebarber.Butthen,whydidnotyoulookout

foranactressintheregulartheatreatMadrid?Youwouldhave

beensureofyourmark.Youareperfectlyintheright,replied

thestroller;butthemischiefis,weunderlingsdarenotraise

ourthoughtstothoseillustriousheroines.Itisasmuchasan

actoroftheprince’scompanycanventureon;nay,someofthem

areobligedtomatchwithcitizens’daughters.Happilyforour

fraternity,citizens’daughtersnow-a-dayscontracttheatrical

notions;andyoumayoftenmeetwithcharactersamongthem,to

thefullaseccentricasanybonarobaofthegreen-room.

Well!buthaveyouneverthought,saidmyfellow-traveller,of

gettinganengagementinthatcompany?Isitnecessarytobea

Rosciusforthatpurpose?Thatisverywellofyou!replied

Melchior,youareawag,withyourRoscius!Therearetwenty

performers.Askthetownwhatitthinksofthem,andyouwill

hearaprettycharacteroftheiracting.Morethanhalfofthem

deservetocarryaporter’sknot.Yetforallthat,itisnoeasy

mattertogetupontheboards.Briberyorinterestmustmakeup

forthedefectoftalent.IoughttoknowwhatIsaysincemy

debutatMadrid,whereIwashissedandcatcalledasifthe

devilhadgotamongthegrimalkins,thoughIoughttohavebeen

receivedwiththundersofapplause;forIwhined,ranted,and

offeredallsortsofviolencetonature’smodesty:nay,Iwentso

farastoclenchmylistattheheroineofthepiece;inaword,

Iadoptedtheconceptionsofallthegreatperformers;andyet

thatsameaudiencecondemnedbybell,book,andcandleinme,

whatwasthoughttobethefirststyleofplayinginthem.Such

istheforceofprejudice!Sothat,beingnofavouritewiththe

pit,andnothavingwherewithaltoinsinuatemyselfintothegood

gracesofthemanager,IamonmyreturntoZamora.Therewe

shallallhuddletogetheragain,mywifeandmyfellow-comedians,

whoaremakingbutlittleofthebusiness.Iwishwemaynotbe

obligedtobegourwayoutoftown;acatastropheoftoofrequent

occurrence!

Atthesewords,uprosethestage-struckhero,slungacrosshim

hisknapsackandhissword,andmadehisexitwithduetheatric

pomp:Farewell,gentlemen;mayallthegodsshoweralltheir

bountiesonyourheads!Andyou,answeredDiegowith

correspondingemphasis,mayyoufindyourwifeatZamora,

softeneddowninherrelentlessvirtue,andincomfortable

keeping.NosoonerhadSignorZapataturneduponhisheel,than

hebegangesticulatingandspoutingashewentalong.Thebarber

andmyselfimmediatelybeganhissing,toremindhimofhisfirst

appearanceatMadrid.Thegoosegratedharshuponhistympanum;

hetookitforarepetitionofsignalsfromhisoldfriends.But

lookingbehindhim,andseeingthatweweredivertingourselves

athisexpense,farfromtakingoffenceatthismerryconceitof

ours,hejoinedwithgoodhumourinthejoke,andwenthisway

laughingashardashecould.Onourpart,wereturnedthe

complimentinkind.Afterthis,wegotagainintothehighroad,

andpursuedourjourney.

CH.IX.—ThemeetingofDiegowithhisfamily;their

circumstancesinlife;greatrejoicingsontheoccasion;the

partingscenebetweenhimandGilBlas.

WEstoppedforthenightatalittlevillagebetweenMoyadosand

Valpuesta;Ihaveforgottenthename:andthenextmorning,about

eleven,wereachedtheplainofOlm�do.SignorGilBlas,saidmy

companion,beholdmynativeplace.Sonaturalaretheselocal

attachments,thatIcanhardlycontainmyselfatthesightofit.

SignorDiego,answeredI,amanofsopatrioticasoulasyou

professtobe,might,methinks,havebeenalittlemorefloridin

hisdescriptions.Olm�dolookslikeacityatthisdistance,and

youcalleditavillage;itcannotbeanythinglessthana

corporatetown.Ibegitstownship’spardon,repliedthebarber;

butyouaretoknowthatafterMadrid,Toledo,Saragossa,andall

theotherlargecitiesIhavepassedthroughinmytourofSpain,

theselittleonesaremerevillagestome.Aswegotfurtheron

theplain,thereappearedtobeagreatconcourseofpeopleabout

Olm�do:sothat,whenwewerenearenoughtodistinguishobjects,

wewereinnowantoffoodforspeculation.

Therewerethreetentspitchedatsomedistancefromeachother;

andhardby,abevyofcooksandscullionspreparingan

entertainment.Hereapartywaslayingcoversonlongtablesset

outunderthetents;thereadetachmentwascrowningthepitchers

ofTelluswiththegiftsofBacchus.Therightwingwasmaking

thepotsboil,theleftwasturningthespitsandbastingthe

meat.Butwhatcaughtmyattentionmorethanalltherest,wasa

temporarystageofrespectabledimensions.Itwasfurnishedwith

pasteboardscenes,paintedinatawdrystyle,andtheproscenium

wasdecoratedwithGreekandLatinmottoes.Nosoonerdidthe

barberspyouttheseinscriptions,thanhesaidtome—All

theseGreekwordssmellstronglyofmyuncleThomas’slamp.I

wouldlayawagerhehasahandinthem,forbetweenourselves,

heisamanofpartsandlearning.Heknowsalltheclassicsby

heart.Ifhewouldkeepthemtohimselfitwouldbeverywell,

butheisalwaysquotingthemincompany,andthatpeopledonot

like.Butthentobesurehehasaright,becausethisuncleof

minehastranslatedeversomanyoftheLatinpoetsandhard

Greekauthorswithhisownhandandpen.Hehasgotallantiquity

athisfingers’ends,asyoumayknowbyhisingeniousand

profoundcriticisms.Ifithadnotbeenforhim,wemightnever

havelearnedthattheAthenianschoolboyscriedwhentheywere

flogged;weowethatfactinthehistoryofeducationtohis

fundamentalknowledgeofthesubject.

Aftermyfellow-travellerandmyselfhadlookedaboutus,wehad

amindtoinquirewhatthesepreparationswerefor.Goingabout

onthehunt,DiegorecognizedinthemanagerSignorThomasdela

Fuenta,towhomwemadeupwithgreateagerness.Theschoolmaster

didnotrecollecttheyoungbarberatfirst,suchadifference

hadtenyearsmade.Butwhenconvincedofhisbeinghisownflesh

andblood,hegavehimacordialembrace,andsaidwithmuch

appearanceofkindness—Ah!hereyouare,Diego,mydear

nephew,hereyouare,restoredafteryourwanderingstoyour

nativeland.Youcometorevisityourhouseholdgods,your

Penates,andheavendeliversyoubacksafeandsoundintothe

bosomofyourfamily.Ohhappyday,happyinalltheproportions

ofarithmetic!Adayworthytobemarkedwithawhitestoneand

insertedamongtheFasti!Wehaveannalsinabundanceforyou,my

friend;yourunclePedro,thepoetaster,hasfallenasacrifice

attheshrineofPluto:tospeaktothecomprehensionofthe

vulgar,hehasbeendeadthesethreemonths.Thatmiser,inhis

lifetime,wasafraidofwantingnecessaries—Argentipallebat

amore.Thoughthegreatwereheapingwealthuponhishead,his

annualexpendituredidnotamounttotenpistoles.Hehadbutone

miserableattendant,andhimhestarved.Thiscrazyfellow,more

wrong-headedthantheGrecianAristippus,whoorderedhisslaves

toleavealltheircostlybaggageintheheartofLybia,asan

incumbranceontheirmarch,heapedupallthegoldandsilverhe

couldscrapetogether.Andtowhatend?forthoseveryheirswhom

herefusedtoacknowledge.Hediedworththirtythousandducats,

sharedbetweenyourfather,youruncleBertrand,andmyself.We

shallbeabletodoverywellforourchildren.Mybrother

NicholashasalreadymarriedoffyoursisterTheresatotheson

ofamagistrateinthisplace—Connubiojunxitstabili

propriamquedicavit.Theseveryhymeneals,greetedauspiciously

byallthenuptialpowers,havewebeencelebratingforthesetwo

dayswithallthispompandluxury.Thesetentsintheplainare

ofourpitching.Pedro’sthreeheirshaveeachaboothofhis

own,andwedefraytheexpensesofthedayalternately.Iwish

youhadcomesooner,youmighthaveseenthewholeprogressof

ourfestivities.Thedaybeforeyesterday,thewedding-day,your

fathergavehistreat.Itwasasuperbentertainment,succeeded

byrunningatthering.Youruncle,themercer,regaledus

yesterdaywithaf�techamp�tre,andpaidthepiperhandsomely.

Thereweretenofthebestgrownboys,andtenyounggirls,

dressedoutinpastoralweeds;allthefripperyinhisshopwas

broughtouttoprankthemup.ThisassemblageofGanymedesand

Hourisranthroughallthemazesofthedance,andwarbledforth

athousandtenderandspirit-stirringlays.Andyet,though

nothingwasevermoregenteel,theeffectwasnotthought

striking;butthatmustbeowingtothebadtasteofthe

spectators,thesimplicityofpastoralislostuponthepresent

age.

To-day,thewheelsaregreasedbyyourhumbleservant,andImean

topresenttheburgessesofOlm�dowithapageantofmyown

invention—Finiscoronabitopus.Ihavegotastageerected,

onwhich,Godwilling,shallberepresentedbymyscholarsa

pieceofmyowncomposing,entitledandcalled—TheAmusements

ofMuleyBugentuf,KingofMorocco.Itwillbeplayedto

perfection,formypupilsdeclaimliketheplayersofMadrid.

TheyareladsoffamilyatPenafielandSegovia,boarderswith

me.Theyknowhowtotouchthepassions!Tobesuretheyhave

rehearsedundermytuition;theiremphasiswillseemasifstruck

inthemintoftheirmaster—utitadicam.Withrespecttothe

pieceIshallnotsayawordaboutit,youshallbetakenby

surprise.Ishallsimplystatethatitmustproduceadeep

impressionontheaudience.Itisoneofthosetragicsubjects

whichharrowupthesoul,byimagesofdeathpresentedtothe

sensesinalltheirfearfulforms.IamofAristotle’smind,

terrorisaprincipalengine.Oh!ifIhadwrittenforthestage,

Iwouldhaveintroducednonebutbloodytyrants,anddeath-dispensingheroes.NotalltheperfumesofArabiashouldhave

sweetenedthisblood-pollutedhand,Iwouldhavebeenuptomy

elbowsingore.Therewouldhavebeentragedywithavengeance;

principalcharacters!ay,guardsandattendants,shouldallhave

beensprawlingtogether.Iwouldhavebutcheredeverymanof

them,andtheprompterintothebargain.Inaword,Irefineupon

Aristotle,andborderonthehorrible,thatismytaste.These

playstotearacatin,aretheonlythingsforpopularity;the

actorslivemerrilyontheirowndyingspeeches,andtheauthors

rollinluxuryonthedevastationofmankind.

Justasthisharanguewasover,wesawagreatcrowdofboth

sexescomingoutoftownintotheplain.Whoshoulditbebutthe

new-marriedcouple,attendedbytheirfamiliesandfriends,with

tenortwelvemusiciansinthevan,producingamostobstreperous

dinofharmony.Wewentuptothem,andDiegointroducedhimself.

Pealsofcongratulationwereimmediatelyrungthroughthe

assembly,andeveryonewaseagertoshakehimbythehand.He

hadenoughuponhisshoulderstoreceivealltheirfraternal

embraces.Relationsandstrangersallwereforhavingapullat

him.Atlengthhisfathersaid—Youarewelcome,Diego.You

findyourkinsmenlivinguponthefatoftheland,myfriend.I

shallsaynomoreatpresent,anodisasgoodasawink.

Meanwhilethecompanywentforwardupontheplain,tooktheir

stationsunderthetents,andsatdowntotable.Ikeptcloseto

mycompanion,andwebothdinedwiththehappycouple,who

appearedtobesuitablymatched.Themealwasnotsoonover,for

theschoolmasterhadthevanitytogivethreecourses,forthe

purposeofcuttingouthisbrothers,whohadnotbeenso

magnificentintheirhospitalities.

Afterthebanquet,alltheguestsexpressedtheirlongingtosee

SignorThomas’splay,notdoubtingbuttheperformanceofso

extraordinaryageniuswoulddeservealltheirears.Wecamein

frontofthestage;themusicianshadtakenpossessionofthe

orchestra,fortheovertureandact-tunes.Whileeveryonewas

waitinginprofoundsilencefortherisingofthecurtain,the

actorsappearedontheboards;andtheauthor,withthepiecein

hishand,satdownatthewing,intheprompter’splace.Well

mighthecallitatragedy,forinthefirstacttheKingof

Morocco,bywayofdiversion,shotanhundredMoorishslaveswith

arrows;inthesecondhebeheadedthirtyPortugueseofficers,

takenprisonersbyoneofhiscaptains:andinthethirdand

last,thismonarch,surfeitedwithlong-indulgedlibertinism,set

firewithhisownhandstotheseragliowherehiswiveswere

confined,andreducedittoasheswithitsinhabitants.The

Moorishslaves,aswellasthePortugueseofficers,werepuppets

onaverycuriousconstruction;andthepalace,builtof

pasteboard,lookedverynaturallyinflamesbymeansofan

artificialfirework.Thisconflagration,accompaniedbya

thousandpiercingcries,issuingfromtheruins,concludedthe

piece,andthecurtaindroppeduponthisamiableentertainment.

Thewholeplainresoundedwiththeapplauseofthisfinetragedy;

whichspokeforthegoodtasteofthepoet,andprovedthathe

knewwheretolookoutforasubject.

IdidnotsupposetherewasanythingmoretobeseenafterThe

AmusementsofMuleyBugentuf,butIwasmistaken.Kettle-drums

andtrumpetsannouncedanewexhibition—thedistributionof

prizes—forThomasdelaFuenta,togiveadditionalsolemnity

tohisolympics,hadmadeallhisboys,aswelldayscholarsas

boarders,writeexercises;andonthisoccasionhewastogiveto

thosewhohadsucceededbest,booksboughtatSegoviaoutofhis

ownpocket.Allatoncewerebroughtuponthestagetwolong

formsoutoftheschool,withapressfullofoldworm-eaten

booksinfinenewbindings.Atthissignalalltheactors

returneduponthestage,andtooktheirplacesroundSignor

Thomas,wholookedasbigastheheadofacollege.Hehada

sheetofpaperinhisband,withthenamesofthesuccessful

candidates.ThishegavetotheKingofMorocco,whobegan

callingoverthelistwithanauthoritativevoice.Eachscholar,

answeringtohisname,wenthumblytoreceiveabookfromthe

handsofthebum-jerker;afterthishewascrownedwithlaurel,

andseatedononeofthetwobenchestobeexposedtothegazeof

theadmiringcompany.Yet,desirousastheschoolmastermightbe

tosendthespectatorsawayingoodhumour,hebroughthiseggs

toabadmarket;for,havingdistributedalmostalltheprizesto

theboarders,accordingtotheusualetiquetteofpedagogues,

thatthosewhopaymostmustnecessarilybethecleverest

fellows,themammasofcertaindayscholarscaughtfireatthis

instanceofpartiality,andfellfoulofthedisciplinarian

thereupon:sothatthefestival,hithertosomuchtothegloryof

thedonor,seemedlikelytohaveendedtothesametuneasthe

carousaloftheLapithae.

BOOKTHETHIRD

CH.I.—ThearrivalofGilBlasatMadrid.Hisfirstplace

there.

IMADEsomestaywiththeyoungbarber.Atmydeparture,Imet

withatravellerofSegoviapassingthroughOlm�do.Hewas

returningwithfourmulesfromatradingexpeditionto

Valladolid,andtookmebywayofbackcarriage.Wegot

acquaintedontheroad,andhetooksuchafancytomethat

nothingwouldservehimbutImustbehisguestatSegovia.He

gavemefreequartersfortwodays,andwhenhefoundme

determinedtoleavehimforMadridunderconvoyofamuleteer,he

troubledmewithaletter,beggingmetodeliveritinperson

accordingtothesuperscription,withouthintingthatitwasa

letterofrecommendation.IwaspunctualincallingonSignor

MatheoMelendez.Hewasawoollen-draper,livingatthegateof

theSun,atthecornerofTrunkmakerstreet.Nosoonerhadhe

brokenthecoverandreadthecontents,thanhesaidwithanair

ofcomplacency—SignorGilBlas,mycorrespondent,Pedro

Palacio,haswrittentomesopressinglyinyourfavour,thatI

cannotdootherwisethanofferyouabedatmyhouse;moreover,

hedesiresmetofindyouagoodmaster,andIundertakethe

commissionwithpleasure.Ihavenodoubtofsuitingyoutoa

hair.

IembracedtheofferofMelendezthemoregratefullybecausemy

fundsweregettingmuchbelowpar;butIwasnotlongaburdenon

hishospitality.Attheweek’send,hetoldmethathehad

mentionedmynametoagentlemanofhisacquaintance,whowanted

avalet-de-chambre,and,accordingtopresentappearances,the

placewouldnotbelongvacant.Infact,thisgentlemanhappened

tomakehisappearanceintheverynick—Sir,saidMelendez,

pushingmeforward,youseebeforeyoutheyoungmanasbyformer

advice.Heisapupilofhonourandintegrity.Icananswerfor

himasifhewasoneofmyownfamily.Thegentlemanlookedatme

withattention,saidthatmyfacewasinmyfavour,andhiredme

atonce.Hehasnothingtodobuttofollowme,addedhe,Iwill

puthimintotheroutineofhisemployment.Atthesewordshe

wishedthetradesmangoodmorning,andtookmeintotheHigh-street,directlyoveragainstStPhilip’schurch.Wewentintoa

veryhandsomehouse,ofwhichheoccupiedonewing;thengoingup

fiveorsixsteps,hetookmeintoaroomsecuredbystrong

doubledoors,withanirongratebetween.Fromthisroomwewent

intoanother,withabedandotherfurniture,ratherneatthan

gaudy.

Ifmynewmasterhadexaminedmeclosely,Ihadallmywitsabout

measwellashe.Hewasamanonthewrongsideoffifty,witha

saturnineandseriousair.Histemperseemedtobeeven,andI

thoughtnoharmofhim.Heaskedmeseveralquestionsaboutmy

family;andlikingmyanswers—GilBlas,saidhe,Itakeyou

tobeaverysensiblelad,andamwellpleasedtohaveyouinmy

service.Onyourpart,youshallhavenoreasontocomplain.I

willgiveyousixrialsadayboardwages,besidesvails.ThenI

requirenogreatattendance,forIkeepnotable,butalwaysdine

out.Youwillonlyhavetobrushmyclothes,andbeyourown

masterfortherestoftheday.Onlytakecaretobeathome

earlyintheevening,andtobeinwaitingatthedoor,thatis

yourchiefduty.Afterthislecture,hetooksixrialsoutofhis

purse,andgavethemtomeasearnest.Wethenwentout,he

lockedthedoorsafterhim,andtakingcareofthekeys—My

friend,saidhe,youneednotgowithme,followthedevicesof

yourownheart;butonmyreturnthisevening,letmefindyouon

thatstaircase.Withthisinjunctionheleftmetodisposeof

myselfasseemedbestinmyowneyes.

Ingoodsooth,GilBlas,saidIinasoliloquy,youhavegota

jewelofamaster.What!fallinwithanemployertogiveyousix

rialsadayforwipingoffthedustfromhisclothes,andputting

hisroomtorightsinthemorning,withthelibertyofwalking

aboutandtakingyourpleasurelikeaschoolboyintheholidays!

Bymytroth!itisaplaceoftenthousand.NowonderIwasina

hurrytogettoMadrid,itwasdoubtlesssomemysteriousboding

ofgoodfortunepreparedforme.Ispentthedayinthestreets,

divertingmyselfwithgapingatnovelties—abusyoccupation.

Intheevening,aftersuppingatanordinarynotfarfromour

house,Isquattedmyselfdowninthecornerpointedoutbymy

master.Hecamethreequartersofanhourafterme,andseemed

pleasedwithmypunctuality.Verywell,saidhe,thisisright,I

likeattentiveservants.Atthesewords,heopenedthedoorsof

hisapartment,andclosedthemuponusagainassoonaswehad

gotin.Aswehadnocandle,hetookhistinder-boxandstrucka

light.Ithenhelpedhimtoundress.Whenhewasinbed,I

lighted,byhisorder,alampinhischimney,andcarriedthe

wax-lightintotheantechamber,whereIlayinapress-bed

withoutcurtains.Hegotupthenextdaybetweennineandten

o’clock;Ibrushedhisclothes.Hepaidmemysixrials,andsent

mepackingtilltheevening.Mymysteriousmasterwentout

himselftoo,notwithoutgreatcautioninfasteningthedoors,

andwepartedfortheremainderoftheday.

Suchwasourcourseoflife,veryagreeabletome.Thebestof

thejokewas,thatIdidnotknowmymaster’sname.Melendezdid

notknowithimself.Thegentlemancametohisshopnowandthen,

andboughtapieceofcloth.Myneighbourswereasmuchataloss

asmyself;theyallassuredmethatmymasterwasaperfect

stranger,thoughhehadlivedtwoyearsintheward.Hevisited

nosoulintheneighbourhood,andsomeofthem,alittlegivento

scandal,concludedhimtobenobetterthanheshouldbe.

Suspicionsgottobemorerife;hewassuspectedofbeingaspy

ofPortugal,anditwasthoughtbutfairplaytogiveahintfor

myowngood.Thisintimationtroubledme.ThoughtItomyself,

shouldthisturnouttobeafact,Istandachanceforseeing

theinsideofaprisonatMadrid.Myinnocencewillbeno

security;mypastill-usagemakesmelookonjusticewith

antipathy.TwicehaveIexperiencedthatiftheinnocentarenot

condemnedinalumpwiththeguilty,atleasttherightsof

hospitalityaretoolittleregardedintheirpersonstomakeit

pleasanttopassasummerinthepurlieusofthelaw.

IconsultedMelendezinsodelicateaconjuncture.Hewasata

losshowtoadviseme.Thoughhecouldnotbringhimselfto

believethatmymasterwasaspy,hehadnoreasontobe

confidentontheothersideofthequestion.Ideterminedto

watchmyemployer,andtoleavehimifheturnedouttobean

enemyofthestate;butthenprudenceandpersonalcomfort

requiredmetobecertainofmyfact.Ibegan,therefore,topry

intohisactions;andtosoundhim,Sir,saidIoneeveningwhile

hewasundressing,Idonotknowhowoneoughttolivesoasto

besecurefromreflections.Theworldisveryscurrilous!We,

amongothers,haveneighboursnotworthacurse.Saddogs!You

havenonotionhowtheytalkofus.Dotheyindeed,GilBlas?

quothhe.Beitso!butwhatcantheysayofus,myfriend?Ah!

truly,repliedI,eviltonguesneverwantawhet.Virtueherself

furnishesweaponsforherownmartyrdom.Ourneighbourssaythat

wearedangerouspeople,thatweoughttobelookedafterby

government;inaword,youaretakenforaspyofPortugal.In

throwingoutthishint,Ilookedhardatmymaster,justas

Alexandersquintedathisphysician,andpursedupallmy

penetrationtoremarkupontheeffectofmyintelligence.There

seemedtobeahitchinthemusclesofmymysteriouslord,

altogetherinunisonwiththesuspicionsoftheneighbourhood;

andhefellintoabrownstudy,whichborenoveryauspicious

interpretation.However,heputabetterfaceonthematter,and

saidwithsufficientcomposure:GilBlas,leaveourneighboursto

discourseastheyplease,butletnotourreposedependontheir

judgments.Nevermindwhattheythinkofus,providedourown

consciencesdonotwince.

Hereuponhewenttobed,andIdidthelike,withoutknowingwhat

coursetotake.Thenextday,justaswewereonthepointof

goingoutinthemorning,weheardaviolentknockingatthe

outerdooronthestaircase.Mymasteropenedtheinner,and

lookedthroughthegrate.Awell-dressedmansaidtohim:Please

yourhonour,Iamanalguazil,cometoinformyouthatMr

Corregidorwishestospeakawordwithyou.Whatdoeshewant?

answeredmypatternofsecrecy.ThatismorethanIknow,sir,

repliedthealguazil;butyouhaveonlytogoandwaitonhim;

youwillsoonbeinformed.Iamhismostobedient,quothmy

master;Ihavenobusinesswithhim.Atthetailofthisspeech,

hebangedtheinnerdoor;then,afterwalkingupanddowna

littlewhile,likeonewhoponderedonthediscourseofthe

alguazil,heputmysixrialsintomyhand,andsaid:GilBlas,

youmaygoout,myfriend;formypart,Ishallstayathomea

littlelonger,buthavenooccasionforyou.Hemadean

impressiononmymind,bythesewords,thathewasafraidof

beingtakenup,andwasthereforeobligedtoremaininhis

apartments.Ilefthimthere;and,toseehowfarmysuspicions

werefounded,hidmyselfinaplacewhenceIcouldseeifhewent

out.Ishouldhavehadpatiencetohavestaidthereallthe

morning,ifhehadnotsavedmethetrouble.Butanhourafter,I

sawhimwalkthestreetwithaneaseandconfidencewhichdumbfoundedmysagacity.Yetfarfromyieldingtotheseappearances,

Imistrustedthem;formyverdictwenttocondemnation.I

consideredhiseasycarriageasputon;andhisstayingathome

asafinessetosecurehisgoldandjewels,whenprobablyhewas

goingtoconsulthissafetybyspeedyflight.Ihadnoideaof

seeinghimagain,anddoubtedwhetherIshouldattendathisdoor

intheevening;sopersuadedwasI,thatthedaywouldseehimon

theoutsideofthecity,ashisonlyrefugefromimpending

danger.YetIkeptmyappointment;when,tomyextremesurprise,

mymasterreturnedasusual.Hewenttobedwithoutbetrayingthe

leastuneasiness,andgotupthenextmorningwiththesame

composure.

Justashehadfinisheddressing,anotherknockatthedoor!My

masterlookedthroughthegrateHisfriendthealguazilwasthere

again,andheaskedhimwhathewanted.Openthedoor,answered

thealguazil;hereisMrCorregidor.Atthisdreadfulname,my

bloodfrozeinmyveins.Ihadadevilishloathingofthose

gentrysinceIhadpassedthroughtheirhands,andcouldhave

wishedmyselfatthatmomentanhundredleaguesfromMadrid.As

formyemployer,lessstartledthanmyself;heopenedthedoor,

andreceivedthemagistraterespectfully.Yousee,saidthe

corregidor,thatIdonotbreakinuponyouwithawholeposse:

mymaximistodobusinessinaquietway.Inspiteoftheugly

reportscirculatedaboutyouinthecity,Ithinkyoudeserve

somelittleattention.Whatisyourname,andbusinessatMadrid?

Sir,answeredmymaster,IamfromNewCastile,andmytitleis

DonBernarddeCastilBlazo.Withrespecttomywayoflife,I

loungeabout,frequentpublicplaces,andtakemydailypleasure

inaselectcircleofpolitecompany.Ofcourseyouhavea

handsomefortune!repliedthejudge.No,sir,interruptedmy

Mecaenas,Ihaveneitherannuities,norlands,norhouses.Howdo

youlivethen?rejoinedthecorregidor.Iwillshowyou,replied

DonBernard.Atthesametimeheliftedupapartofthe

hangings,beforeadoorIhadnotobserved,openedthatandone

beyond,thentookthemagistrateintoaclosetcontainingalarge

chestchuckfullofgold.

Sir,saidheagain,youknowthattheSpaniardsareproverbially

indolent;yet,whatevermaybetheirgeneraldisliketolabour,I

maycomplimentmyselfonbetteringtheexample.Ihaveastockof

laziness,whichdisqualifiesmeforallexertion.IfIhadamind

topuffmyvicesintovirtues,Imightcallthisslothofminea

philosophicalindifference,theworkofamindweanedfromall

thatworldlingscourtwithsomuchardour;butIwillfranklyown

myselfconstitutionallylazy,andsolazy,thatratherthanwork

formysubsistence,Iwouldlaymyselfdownandstarve.

Therefore,toleadalifebefittingmyfancy,nottohavethe

troubleoflookingaftermyaffairs,andabovealltodowithout

asteward,Ihaveconvertedallmypatrimony,consistingof

severalconsiderableestates,intoreadymoney.Inthischest

therearefiftythousandducats;morethanenoughforthe

remainderofmydays,shouldIlivetobeanhundred!ForIdo

notspendathousandayear,andamalreadymorethanfiftyyears

old.Ihavenofears,therefore,forfuturity,sinceIamnot

addicted,heavenbepraised,toanyoneofthethreethingswhich

usuallyruinmen.Icarelittleforthepleasuresofthetable;I

onlyplayformyamusement;andIhavegivenupwomen.Thereis

nochanceofmybeingreckoned,inmyoldage,amongthose

libidinousgreybeardstowhomjiltsselltheirfavoursbytroy

weight.

Youareahappyman!saidthecorregidor.Theyareinthewrong

tosuspectyouofbeingaspy:thatofficeisquiteoutof

characterforamanlikeyou.Takeyourowncourse,DonBernard:

continuetoliveasyoulike.Farfromdisturbingyourpeace,I

declaremyselfyourprotector;Irequestyourfriendship,and

pledgemyown.Ah!sir,exclaimedmymaster,thrilledwiththese

kindexpressions,Iacceptwithequaljoyandgratitudeyour

preciousoffer.Ingivingmeyourfriendshipyouaugmentmy

wealth,andcarrymyhappinesstoitsheight.Afterthis

conversation,whichthealguazilandmyselfheard;fromthe

closetdoor,thecorregidortookhisleaveofDonBernard,who

couldnotdoenoughtoexpresshissenseoftheobligation.Onmy

part,mimickingthymasterindoingthehonoursofthehouse,I

overburdenedthealguazilwithcivilities.Imadehimathousand

lowbows,thoughIfeltforhiminmysleevethecontemptand

hatredwhicheveryhonestmannaturallyentertainsforan

alguazil.

CH.II.—TheastonishmentofGilBlasatmeetingCaptain

RolandoinMadrid,andthatrobber’scuriousnarrative.

DONBernarddeCastilBlazo,havingattendedthecorregidorto

thestreet,returnedinahurrytofastenhisstrongbox,andall

thedoorswhichsecuredit.Wethenwentout,bothofuswell

satisfied,heathavingacquiredafriendinpower,andmyselfat

findingmysixrialsadaysecuredtome.Thedesireofrelating

thisadventuretoMelendezmademebendmystepstowardshis

house;but,nearmyjourney’send,whomshouldImeetbutCaptain

Rolando!Mysurprisewasextreme,andIcouldnothelpquakingat

thesightofhim.Herecollectedmeatonce,accostedmegravely,

and,stillkeepinguphistoneofsuperiority,orderedmeto

followhim.Itremblinglyobeyed,sayinginwardly:Alas!he

means,doubtless,tomakemepaymydebts!Whitherwillhelead

me?Theremay,perhaps,besomesubterraneousretreatinthis

city.Plaguetakeit!IfIthoughtso,IwouldsoonshowhimI

havenotgotthegout.Iwalked,therefore,behindhimcarefully

lookingoutwherehemightstop,withthepiousdesignofputting

mybestlegforemost,iftherewasanythingintheshapeofa

trap-door.

Rolandosoondispersedmyalarms.Hewentintoawell-frequented

tavern;Ifollowedhim.Hecalledforthebestwine,andordered

dinner.Whileitwasgettingready,wewentintoaprivateroom,

wherethecaptainaddressedmeasfollows:Youmaywellbe

astonished,GilBlas,torenewyouracquaintancewithyourold

commander;andyouwillbestillmoreso,whenyouhaveheardmy

tale.ThedayIleftyouinthecave,andwentwithmytroopto

Mansilla,forthepurposeofsellingthemulesandhorseswehad

takentheeveningbefore,wemetthesonofthecorregidorof

Leon,attendedbyfourmenonhorsebackwellarmed,followinghis

carriage.Twoofhispeoplewemadetobitethedust,andthe

othertworanaway.Onthisthecoachman,alarmedforhismaster,

criedouttousinatoneofsupplication—Alas!mydear

gentlemen,inGod’sname,donotkilltheonlysonofhisworship

thecorregidorofLeon.Thesewordswerefarfromsofteningmy

comrades;onthecontrary,theirfuryknewnobounds.Goodfolks,

saidoneofthem,letnotthesonofamortalenemytomenlike

usescapeourvengeance.Howmanyornamentsofourprofessionhas

hisfathercutoffintheirprime!Letusrepayhiscrueltywith

interest,andsacrificethisvictimtotheiroffendedghosts.The

wholetroopapplaudedthefinenessofthisfeeling,andmy

lieutenanthimselfwaspreparingtoactashighpriestatthis

unhallowedaltar,whenIinterdictedtherites.Stop,saidI;why

shedbloodwithoutoccasion?Letusrestcontentedwiththe

youth’spurse.Ashemakesnoresistance,itwouldbeagainstthe

lawsofwartocuthisthroat.Besides,heisnotanswerablefor

hisfather’smisdeeds;nay,hisfatheronlydoeshisdutyin

condemningustodeath,aswedooursinriflingtravellers.

ThusdidIpleadforthecorregidor’sson,andmyintercession

wasnotunavailing.Weonlytookeveryfarthingofhismoney,and

carriedoffwithusthehorsesofthetwomenwhomwehadslain.

ThesewesoldwiththerestatMansilla.Thencewereturnedto

thecavern,wherewearrivedthefollowingmorningalittle

beforedaybreak.Wewerenotalittlesurprisedtofindthetrap

open,andstillmoreso,whenwefoundLeonardahandcuffedinthe

kitchen.Sheunravelledthemysteryintwowords.Wewonderedhow

youcouldhaveoverreachedus;noonecouldhavethoughtyou

capableofservingussuchatrick,andweforgavetheeffectfor

themeritoftheinvention.Assoonaswehadreleasedour

kitchenwench,Igaveordersforagoodluncheon.Inthemean

timewewenttolookafterourhorsesinthestable,wherethe

oldnegro,whohadbeenlefttohimselfforfour-and-twenty

hours,wasatthelastgasp.Wedidallwecouldforhisrelief,

buthewastoofargone;indeedsomuchreduced,that,inspite

ofourendeavours,weleftthepoordevilonthethresholdof

anotherworld.Itwasverysad;butitdidnotspoilour

appetites,and,afteranabundantbreakfast,weretiredtoour

chambers,andsleptawaythewholeday.Onourawaking,Leonarda

apprizedusthatDomingohadpaidthedebtofnature.Wecarried

himtothecharnelhousewhereyoumayrecollecttohavelodged,

andthereperformedhisobsequies,justasifhehadbeenoneof

ourownorder.

Fiveorsixdaysafterwards,itfelloutthatonemorning,ona

sally,weencounteredthreecompaniesoftheHolyBrotherhood,on

theoutskirtsofthewood.Theyseemedwaitingtoattackus.We

perceivedbutonetroopatfirst.Thesewedespised,though

superiorinnumbertoourparty,andrushedforwardtotheonset.

Butwhilewewereatloggerheadswiththefirst,thetwoothers

inambuscadecamethunderingdownuponus;sothatourvalourwas

ofnouse.Therewasnowithstandingsuchahostofenemies.Our

lieutenantandtwoofourganggaveuptheghostonthis

occasion.Asforthetwoothersandmyself,weweresoclosely

pressedandhemmedin,astobetakenprisoners:and,whiletwo

detachmentsconvoyedustoLeon,thethirdwenttodestroyour

retreat.Howitwasdiscovered,Iwillbrieflytellyou.A

peasantofLuceno,crossingtheforestonhiswayhome,bychance

espiedthetrap-doorofoursubterraneousresidence,whicha

certainyoungrunawayhadnotshutdownafterhim,foritwas

preciselythedaywhenyoutookyourselfoffwiththelady.He

hadaviolentsuspicionofitsbeingourabode,withouthaving

thecouragetogoin.Itwasenoughtomarktheadjacentparts,

bylightlypeelingwithhisknifebarkfromthenearesttrees,

andsoon,fromdistancetodistance,tillhewasquiteoutof

thewood.HethenbetookhimselftoLeon,withthisgrand

discoveryforthecorregidor,whowassomuchthebetterpleased,

ashissonhadbeenrobbedbyourgang.Thismagistratecollected

togetherthreecompaniestolayholdofus,andthepeasant

showedthemtheway.

MyarrivalinthetownofLeonwasasgoodasthatofawild

beasttotheinhabitants.EventhoughIhadbeenaPortuguese

generalmadeprisonerofwar,thepeoplecouldnothavebeenmore

anxioustoseeme.Therehegoes,wasthecry;thatishe,the

famouscaptain,theterroroftheseparts.Itwouldservehim

righttotearhimpiecemealwithpincers,andmakehiscomrades

joininthechorus.Tothecorregidor,wastheuniversalcry;and

hisworshipbeganinsultingme.So,so!saidhe,scoundrelasyou

are,thepowersofjustice,worntoathreadwithyourpast

irregularities,handoverthetaskofpunishmenttomeastheir

delegate.Sir,answeredI,greatasmycrimesmayhavebeen,at

leastthedeathofyouronlysonisnottobelaidatmydoor.

Hislifewassavedbyme;youowemesomeacknowledgmentonthat

score.Oh!wretch,exclaimedhe,therearenomeasurestobekept

withpeopleofyourdescription.Andthoughitweremywishto

saveyou,mysacredofficewouldnotallowmetoindulgemy

feelings.Havingspokentothiseffect,hecommittedustoa

dungeon,wheremycompanionshadnotimetolamenttheirhard

fate.Theygotoutofconfinement,attheendofthreedays,to

expatiatewithtragicenergyattheplaceofexecution.Formy

part,Itookupmyquartersinlimboforthreecompleteweeks.My

punishmentseeminglywasdeferredonlytorenderitmore

terrible;andIwaslookingoutforsomerefinementonthe

ordinarycourseofcriminaljustice,whenthecorregidor,having

summonedmebeforehim,said:Giveeartoyoursentence.Youare

free.Haditnotbeenforyou,myonlysonwouldhavebeen

assassinatedonthehighway.Asafather,mygratitudewasdue

forthisservice;butnotbeingcompetenttoacquityouinmy

capacityofamagistrate,Ihavewrittenuptocourtinyour

favour;havesolicitedyourpardon,andhaveobtainedit.Go,

then,whithersoeveritmayseemgoodtoyou.Buttakemyadvice;

profitbythisluckyescape.Looktoyourpaths,andgiveupthe

tradeofahighwaymanforgoodandall.

Iwasdeeplyimpressedbythisadvice,andtookmydeparturefor

Madrid,inthefirmdeterminationofmendingmyways,andliving

quietlyinthatcity.ThereIfoundmyfatherandmotherdead,

andwhattheyleftbehindtheminthehandsofanoldkinsman,

whoadministereddulyandtruly,asalltrusteesofcoursedo.I

savedthreethousandducatsoutofthefire;scarcelyaquarter

ofwhatIwasentitledto.Butwherewastheremedy?Therewasno

standingtothequirksandevasionsofthelaw.Justtobedoing

something,Ihavepurchasedanalguazil’splace.Mycolleagues

wouldhavesettheirfacesagainstmyadmission,forthehonour

ofthecloth,hadtheyknownmyhistory.Luckilytheydidnot,or

atleastaffectednottoknowit,whichwasjustasgoodasthe

reality;for,inthatillustriousbody,itistheboundenduty

andinterestofeverymembertowearamask.Thepotcannotcall

thekettlehardnames,thankheaven.Thedevilwouldhaveno

greatcatchinthebestofus.Andyet,myfriend,Icould

willinglyunbosommyselftoyouwithoutdisguise.Mypresent

occupationismuchagainstthegrain;itrequirestoocircumspect

andtoomysteriousaconduct;thereisnothingtobedonebutby

underhanddealings,gravity,andcunning.Oh!formyfirsttrade!

Thenewoneissafer,tobesure;butthereismorefuninthe

other,andlibertyismymotto.Ifeeldisposedtogetridofmy

office,andtosetoutsomesunshinymorningforthemountainsat

thesourceoftheTagus.Iknowofaretreatthereabouts,

inhabitedbyanumerousgang,composedchieflyofCatalonians;

whenIhavesaidthat,Ineedsaynomore.Ifyouwillgoalong

withme,wewillswellthenumberofthoseheroes.Ishallbe

secondincommand.Tomakeyourfootingrespectableatonce,I

willswearthatyouhavefoughttentimesbymyside.Yourvalour

shallmounttotheveryskies.Iwilltellmoregoodofyouthan

acommander-in-chiefofafavouriteofficer.Iwillnotsaya

wordabouttherunawaytrick,thatwouldrenderyoususpectedof

turningnose,thereforemumistheword.Whatsayyoutoit?Are

youreadytosetoff?Iamimpatienttoknowyourmind.

Everyonetohisownfancy,saidIthentoRolando,youwereborn

forboldexploits,andyourfriendforasereneandquietlife.I

understandyou,interruptedhe;theladywhomloveinducedyouto

carryoffstillpreservesherinfluenceoveryourheart,andyou

doubtlessleadwithherthatserenelifeofwhichyouare

enamoured.Ownthetruth,masterGilBlas,sheisbecomeathing

ofyourown,andyouarebothlivingonthepistolescarriedoff

fromthesubterraneousretreat.Itoldhimhewasmistaken;and,

tosethimright,relatedthelady’sadventuresandmyownwhile

wesatatdinner.Whenourmealwasfinishedheledbacktothe

subjectoftheCatalonians,andattemptedoncemoretoengageme

inhisproject.Butfindingmeinflexible,helookedatmewitha

terrificfrown,andsaidseriously—Sinceyouaredastard

enoughtopreferyourservileconditiontothehonourof

enlistinginatroopofbravefellows,Iturnyouadrifttoyour

owngrovellinginclinations.Butmarkmewell,alapsemaybe

fatal.Forgetourmeetingofto-day,andneverprateaboutmeto

anylivingsoul;forifIcatchyoubandyingaboutmynamein

youridletalk….youknowmyways,Ineedsaynomore.With

thesewordshecalledforthelandlord,paidthereckoning,and

werosefromtabletogoaway.

CH.III—GilBlasisdismissedbyDonBernarddeCastilBlazo,

andentersintotheserviceofabeau.

Aswewerecomingoutofthetavern,andtakingourleave,my

masterwaspassingalongthestreet.Hesawme,andIobserved

himlookmorethanonceatthecaptain.Ihadnodoubtbuthewas

surprisedatmeetingmeinsuchcompany.Itiscertainthat

Rolando’sphysiognomyandairwerenotmuchinfavourofmoral

qualities.Hewasagiganticfellow,withalongface,aparrot’s

beak,andaveryrascallycontour,withoutbeingabsolutelyugly.

Iwasnotmistakeninmyguess.IntheeveningIfoundDon

Bernardharpingonthecaptain’sfigure,andcharminglydisposed

tobelieveallthefinethingsIcouldhavesaidofhim,ifmy

tonguehadnotbeentied.GilBlas,saidhe,whoisthatgreat

sharkIsawwithyouawhileago?Itoldhimitwasanalguazil,

andthoughttohavegotoffwiththatanswer,buthereturnedto

thecharge;andobservingmyconfusion,fromtheremembranceof

thethreatsusedbyRolando,brokeofftheconversationabruptly

andwenttobed.Thenextmorning,whenIhadperformedmy

ordinaryduties,hecountedmeoversixducatsinsteadofsix

rials,andsaid—Here,myfriend,thisiswhatIgiveyoufor

yourservicesuptothisday.Goandlookoutforanotherplace.

Aservantkeepingsuchhighcompanyistoomuchforme.I

bethoughtmyselfofsaying,inmyowndefence,thatIhadknown

thatalguazil,byhavingprescribedforhimatValladolid,while

Iwaspractisingmedicine.Verygood,repliedmymaster,the

shiftisingeniousenough;youmighthavethoughtofitlast

night,andnothavelookedsofoolish.Sir,rejoinedI,ingood

truthprudencekeptmesilent,andgavetomyreservetheaspect

ofguilt.Undoubtedly,resumedhe,tappingmesoftlyonthe

shoulder,itwascarryingprudenceveryfar,eventotheconfines

ofcunning.Go,lad,Ihavenofurtheroccasionforyour

services.

IwentimmediatelytoacquaintMelendezwiththebadnews,who

toldme,formycomfort,thathewouldengagetoprocuremea

betterberth.Indeed,somedaysafter,hesaid—GilBlas,my

friend,youhavenonotionofthegoodluckinstoreforyou.You

willhavethemostagreeablepostintheworld.Iamgoingto

settleyouwithDonMatthiasdeSilva.Heisamanofthefirst

fashion,oneofthoseyoungnoblemencommonlydistinguishedby

theappellationofbeaus.Ihavethehonourofhiscustom.He

takesupgoodsofme,ontick,indeed,butthesegreatmenare

goodpayinthelongrun,theyoftenmarryrichheiresses,and

thenoldscoresarewipedoff;or,shouldthatfail,atradesman

whounderstandshisbusinessputssuchapriceuponhisarticles,

thatifthree-fourthsofhisdebtsarebad,heisnoloser.Don

Matthias’sstewardismyintimatefriend.Letusgoandlookfor

him.Itwillbeforhimtopresentyoutohismaster,andyoumay

relyuponit,thatformysakehewilltreatyouwithhigh

consideration.

AswewereonourwaytoDonMatthias’shouse,thishonest

shopkeepersaid—Itisfit,methinks,thatyoushouldbelet

intothesteward’scharacter.HisnameisGregorioRodriguez.

Betweenourselves,heisamanoflowbirth,withatalentfor

intrigue,inwhichvocationhehaslabouredtillastewardshipin

twodistressedfamiliescompletedtheirruin,andmadehis

fortune.Igiveyounotice,thathisvanityisexcessive;he

lovestoseetheunder-servantscreepingandcrawlingathis

feet.Itiswithhimtheymustmakeinterestiftheyhaveany

favourtobegoftheirmaster,forshouldtheyhappentoobtain

itwithouthisinterference,hehasalwayssomeshiftorotherat

handtogettheboonrevoked,oratleastrenderitofnoavail.

Regulateyourconductonthishint,GilBlas;paycourttoSignor

Rodriguezinpreferencetoyourmasterhimself,andleaveno

stoneunturnedtogetintohisgoodgraces.Hisfriendshipwill

beofmaterialservicetoyou.Hewillpayyourwagestotheday;

and,ifyouhavemanagementenoughtowormyourselfintohis

confidence,youmaychancetopickupsomeofthefragmentswhich

fallfromhistable.Thereareenoughforanhungrierdogthan

you!DonMatthiasisayoungnobleman,withnothoughttothrow

awaybutonhispleasures,northeslightestsuspicionhowhis

ownaffairsaregoingon.Whatahouseforastewardwhoknows

howtobeasteward!

Whenwegottoourjourney’send,weaskedtospeakwithSignor

Rodriguez.Weweretoldthatweshouldfindhiminhisown

apartment.Therehewas,sureenough,andwithhimaclownish

sortoffellowholdingabluebag,fullofmoney.Thesteward,

lookingmorewanandyellowthanagirlinahurryforahusband,

ranuptoMelendezwithopenarms;thedraperwasnotbehindhand

withhim,andtheyeachhuggedtheotherwithashewof

friendship,atleastasmuchindebtedtoartasnatureforits

plausibleeffect.Afterthis,thenextquestionwasaboutme.

Rodriguezexaminedmefromtoptotoe;sayingverycivillyatthe

sametimethatIwasjustsuchanoneasDonMatthiaswanted,and

thathewouldwithpleasuretakeuponhimselftopresentmeto

thatnobleman.ThereuponMelendezgavehimtounderstandhow

deeplyhewasinterestedinmybehalf;hebeggedthestewardto

takemeunderhisprotection,andleavingmewithhim,after

plentyofcompliments,withdrew.Assoonashewasgoneout,

Rodriguezsaid,IwillintroduceyoutomymasterthemomentI

havedispatchedthishonesthusbandman.Hecalledthecountryman

tohimforthwith,andtakinghisbag,Talego,saidhe,letussee

ifthefivehundredpistolesareallright.Hecountedoverthe

moneyhimself.Asthesumwasfoundtobeexact,thecountryman

tookareceiptandwentaway.Thecashwasputbackagaininto

thebag.Itwasmyturnnexttobeattendedto.Wemaynow,said

mynewpatron,gotomymaster’slevee.Heusuallygetsupabout

noon,itisnownearoneo’clock,andmustbedaylightinhis

apartment.

DonMatthiashadindeedjustrisen.Hewasstillinhismorning

gown,kickinghisheelsinagreatchair,withalegtossedover

oneoftheelbows,swingingbackwardsandforwards,and

manufacturinghisownsnuff.Hisconversationwasaddressedtoa

footmaninwaiting,whoofficiatedasatemporaryvalet-de-chambre.Mylord,

saidthesteward,hereisayoungmanwhomI

takethelibertyofpresentingtoyourlordshipintheplaceof

himyoudischargedthedaybeforeyesterday.Yourdraper,

Melendez,hasgivenhimacharacter;heundertakesforhis

qualifications,andIbelieveyouwillbeverywellpleasedwith

him.Thatisenough,answeredtheyoungnobleman,sincehehas

yourrecommendation,Iadopthimblindfoldintomyretinue.Heis

myvalet-de-chambreatonce;thatbusinessissettled.Letus

talkofothermatters,Rodriguez,youarecomejustintime,I

wasgoingtosendforyou.Ihaveabudgetofbadnews,mydear

Rodriguez.Iplayedwithilllucklastnight,anhundredpistoles

inmypocketlost,andtwohundredmoreoncredit.Youknowhow

indispensableitisforpersonsofhighranktopaytheirdebts

ofhonour.Asforanyother,itisnomatterwhentheyarepaid.

Punctualityisallverywellbetweenonetradesmanandanother,

buttheycannotexpectitfromoneofus.Thesetwohundred

pistolesmustberaisedforthwithandsenttotheCountessde

Pedrosa.Sir,quoththesteward,thatissoonersaidthandone.

Where,prythee,amItogetsuchasum?ThreatenasIwill,I

nevertouchamaravedifromyourtenants.Andyetyour

establishmentistobekeptupinstyle,andIamwearingmyself

toathreadinfurnishingthewaysandmeans.Itistruethat

hitherto,heavenbepraised,wehaverubbedon,butwhatwitchto

conjureforawind,now,Iknownot,thecaseisdesperate.All

thisprosingisextremelyimpertinent,interruptedDonMatthias;

thiscountinghousetalkmakesmehideouslynervous.Sothen,

Rodriguez,youreallythinktoundertakemyreform,and

metamorphosemeintoaploddingmanagerofmyownestates?Avery

elegantsortofpastimeforamaninmystationoflife;amanof

rankandfashion!Grantmepatience,repliedthesteward;atthe

ratewearedrivingnow,itiseasilycalculatedhowsoonyou

willbereleasedfromallthosecares.Youareaverygreatbore,

resumedtheyoungnoblemanratherpeevishly,thisbrutal

importunityisdownrightmurdertoone’sfeelings.Ihateloud

music,besogoodastoletmeberuinedpianissimo.ItellyouI

wanttwohundredpistoles,andImusthavethem.Why,then,said

Rodriguez,wemusthaverecoursetotheoldrascalwhohaslent

yousomuchalreadyonusuriousterms.Haverecoursetothe

devil,ifhewilldoyouanygood,answeredDonMatthias;only

letmehavetwohundredpistoles,anditisthesamethingtome

howyoumanagetogetthem.

Whilehewasutteringthesewordsinahastyandfretfultone,

thestewardwentout;andDonAntonioCentell�s,ayoungmanof

quality,camein.Whatisthematter,myfriend?saidthislast

tomymaster:youratmosphereisovercast;Itracepassioninthe

linesofyourcountenance.Whocanhaveruffledthatsweet

temper?Iwouldlayawager,itwasthatboobyjustgoneout.

Yes,answeredDonMatthias,heismysteward.Everytimehecomes

tospeaktome,Iaminanagonyforaquarterofanhouror

twentyminutes.Heringsthechangesonthestateofmyaffairs;

andtellsmethatIamspendingprincipalandinterestAbeast!

Hewillsaynext,thatIhaveruinedhimintothebargain!My

dearfellow,repliedDonAntonio,Iamexactlyinthesame

situation.Mymanofbusinessisjustsuchanotherscarecrowas

yoursteward.Whenthesneakingscoundrel,afterrepeated

demands,bringsmesomeniggardlysupply,itisjustasifhewas

lendingmehisown.Heexpostulatesmostbarbarously.Sir,says

he,youaregoingtorackandruin;thereisanexecutionout

againstyou.Iamobligedtocuthimshort,andbeghimto

remonstrateinepitome.Theworstofitis,saidDonMatthias,

thatthereisnodoingwithoutthesefellows;theyarethe

penanceattachedtoourelegantindiscretions.Justso,replied

Centell�s.Butlisten,pursuedhe,burstingintoafitof

laughter;apleasantideahasjuststruckme.Nothingwasever

morefarcicallyfancied.Wemayintroduceabuffocaricatointo

ourseriousopera,andrelievetheknellofourdepartedgoods

andchattelswithanhumorousdivertissement.Theplotisthus:

letmetrytoborrowfromyourstewardwhateveryouwant.You

shalldothesamewithmymanofbusiness.Thenletthemboth

preachastheyplease;weshallhearkenwiththeutmost

composure.Yourstewardwillcomeandopenhiscasetome;myman

ofbusinesswillpleadthepovertyofthelandtoyou.Ishall

hearofnothingbutyourextravagance;andyouwillseeyourown

inmineasinaglass.Itwillbevastlyentertaining.

Athousandbrilliantconceitsfollowedthisflightofgenius,and

puttheyoungpatriciansintohighspirits,sothattheykeptup

theballwithvivacity,ifnotwithwit.Theirconversationwas

interruptedbyGregorioRodriguez,whobroughtbackwithhima

littleoldmanwithabaldhead.DonAntoniowasformovingoff.

Farewell,DonMatthias,saidhe,weshallmeetagainanon.I

leaveyouwiththesegentlemen;youhave,doubtless,somestate

affairstodiscussincouncil.Oh!no,no,answeredmymaster,

youhadbetterstop;youwillnotinterruptus.Thiswarmold

gentlemanhasthemoderationtolendmemoneyattwentypercent.

What!attwentypercent!exclaimedCentell�sinatoneof

astonishment.Ingoodtruth!Iwishyoujoyonbeinginsuch

hands.Idonotcomeoffsocheaply,formypart:Ipaythrough

thenoseforeveryfarthingIget.Myloansaregenerallyraised

atdoublethatpercent.Thereisusury!saidthefatherofthe

usurioustribe;unconscionabledogs!Wheredotheyexpecttogo

whentheydie?Idonotwonderthereissostrongaprejudice

againstmoney-lenders.Itistheexorbitantprofitwhichsomeof

themderivefromtheirdiscounts,thatbringsreproachandill-willuponusall.Ifallmybrethrenoftheblueballswerelike

me,weshouldnotbetreatedsoscurvily;formypart,Ionly

lendtodomydutytowardsmyneighbour.Ah!iftimeswereas

goodnowasinmyearlydays,mypurseshouldbeatyourservice

asafriend;andevennow,inthepresentdistressofthemoney-market,itgoesagainstthegraintotakeapoortwentypercent.

Butonewouldthinkthemoneywasallgonebacktothemines

whenceitcame:thereisnosuchthingtobehad,andthe

scarcitycompelsmetodepartalittlefromthedisinterested

severityofmybenevolence.Howmuchdoyouwant?pursuedhe,

addressingmymaster.Twohundredpistoles,answeredDon

Matthias.Ihavefourhundredhereinabag,repliedtheusurer;

itisonlytogiveyouhalfofthem.Atthesametimehedrew

fromunderneathhiscloakabluebag,lookingjustlikethatin

whichfarmerTalegohadleftfivehundredpistoleswith

Rodriguez.Iwasnotlonginformingmyjudgmentofthematter,

andsawplainlythatMelendezhadnotbraggedwithoutreasonof

thesteward’saptnessinthewaysoftheworld.Theoldman

emptiedthebag,displayedthecashonatable,andsetabout

countingit.Thesightsetallmymaster’sextravagantpassions

inaflame;thesumtotalprovedverystrikingtohis

comprehension.SignorDescomulgado,saidhetotheusurer,Ihave

justmadeaverysensiblereflection:Iamagreatfool.Ionly

borrowenoughtoredeemmycredit,withoutthinkingofmyempty

pockets.Ishouldbeobligedtogiveyouthetroubleofcoming

againto-morrow.Ithink,therefore,itwillbebesttospare

yourageandinfirmities,andeaseyouofthefourhundredat

once.Mylord,answeredtheoldman,Ihaddestinedhalfofthis

moneytoagoodlicentiate,wholaysouttheincomeofhislarge

prefermentsinthosepiousandcharitableusesforwhichthey

wereoriginallygiventotheclergy,asstewardsofthepoor,and

guidestotheyoungandunwary.Inpursuanceofthisend,itis

hisgreatdelighttoweanyounggirlsfromtheseductionsofa

wickedworld,andplacetheminasnugwell-furnishedlittlebox

ofhisown,wheretheymaybeobnoxioustohisghostly

admonitionsbydayandbynight.But,sinceyouhaveoccasionfor

thewholesum,itisatyourdisposal.Somethingbywayof

security….Oh!asforsecurity,interruptedRodriguez,

takingapaperoutofhispocket,youshallhaveasgoodasthe

bank.HereisanotewhichSignorDonMatthiashasonlyjustto

sign.Hemakesoverfivehundredpistoles,duefromoneofhis

tenants,Talego,awealthyyeomanofMondejar.Thatisenough,

repliedtheusurer,Ineversplithairs,butdealuponthe

square.Thestewardinsinuatedapenbetweenhismaster’s

fingers,whosignedhisnameatthebottomofthenote,without

readingit;andwhistledashesigned,forwantofthought.

Thatbusinesssettled,theoldmantookhisleaveofmynoble

employer,whoshookhimcordiallybythehand,saying:TillI

have.thepleasureofseeingyouagain,goodmasterpounds,

shillings,andpence,Iamyourmostdevotedhumbleservant.Ido

notknowwhyyoushouldallbelumpedtogetherforasetof

bloodsuckers;youseemtomeanecessarylinkinthechainof

well-orderedsociety.Youareasgoodasaphysiciantous

pecuniaryinvalidsofquality,andkeepusalivebyartificial

restorativesinthelaststageofaconsumptivepurse.Youarein

theright,exclaimedCentell�s.Usurersareaverygentlemanly

orderinsociety,andImustnotbedeniedtheprivilegeof

payingmycomplimentstothisillustriousspecimen,forthesake

ofhistwentypercent.Withthisbanter,hecameupandthrew

hisarmsabouttheoldman’sneck:andthesetwoovergrown

children,fortheiramusement,begansendinghimbackward.and

forwardbetweenthemlikeashuttlecock.Aftertheyhadtossed

himaboutfrompillartopost,theysufferedhimtodepartwith

thesteward,whooughttohavecomeinforhisshareofthegame,

andforsomethingalittlemoreserious.

WhenRodriguezandhisstalking-horsehadlefttheroom,Don

Matthiassent,bythelacqueyinwaiting,halfhispistolesto

theCountessdePedrosa,anddepositedtheotherhalfinalong

purseworkedwithgoldandsilk,whichheusuallyworeinhis

pocket.Verywellpleasedtofindhimselfincash,hesaidtoDon

Antonio,withanairofgaiety:Whatshallwedowithourselves

to-day?Letuscallacouncil.Thatistalkinglikeastatesman,

answeredCentell�s:Iamyourman:letuspondergravely.While

theywerecollectingtheirdeliberativewisdomonthecoursethey

weretopursuefortheday,twoothernoblemencamein;DonAlexo

SegiarandDonFerdinanddeGamboa;bothnearlyaboutmymaster’s

age,thatis,fromeightandtwentytothirty.Thesefourjolly

bladesbeganwithsuchheartysalutations,asiftheyhadnotmet

forthesetenyears.Afterthat,DonFerdinand,aprofessed

bacchanalian,madehisproposalstoDonMatthiasandDonAntonio:

Gentlemen,saidhe,wheredoyoudineto-day?Ifyouarenot

engaged,Iwilltakeyoutoatavern,whereyoushallquaff

celestialliquor.Isuppedtherelastnight,anddidnotcome

awaytillbetweenfiveandsixthismorning.Wouldtoheaven,

exclaimedmymaster,Ihaddonethesame!Ishouldnothavelost

mymoney.

Formypart,saidCentell�s,Itreatedmyselfyesterdayevening

withanewamusement;forvarietyhasalwaysitscharmsforme.

Nothingbutachangeofpleasurescanmakethedullroundof

humanlifesupportable.Oneofmyfriendsintroducedmeneckand

heelstooneofthosegentryyclepedtax-gatherers,whodothe

governmentbusinessandtheirownatthesametime.Therewasno

wantofmagnificence,goodtaste,orawell-designedsetout

table!butIfoundinthefamilyitselfanhighlyseasonedrelish

ofabsurdity.Thefarmeroftherevenues,thoughthemostmeanly

extractedofthewholeparty,mustsetupforagreatman;and

hiswife,thoughhideouslyugly,wasagoddessinherown

estimation,andmadeathousandsillyspeeches,thezestofwhich

washeightenedbyaBiscayanaccent.Addtothis,thattherewere

fourorfivechildrenwiththeirtutorattable.Judgeifitmust

nothavebeenanamusingfamilyparty.

Asforme,gentlemen,saidDonAlexoSegiar,Isuppedwith

Arseniatheactress.Weweresixattable:Arsenia,Florimonde,a

coquetteofheracquaintance,theMarquisdeZenette,DonJuande

Moncade,andyourhumbleservant.Wepassedthenightindrinking

andtalkingbawdy.Whataflowofsoul!Tobesure,Arseniaand

Florimondearenotstrongintheirupperworks;butthenthey

haveafacilityintheirvocationwhichismorethanallthewit

intheworld.Theyarethedearestmadcaps,gay,romping,and

rampant:theyareanhundredtimesbetterthanyourmodestwomen

ofsenseanddiscretion.

CH.IV.—GilBlasgetsintocompanywithhisfellows;theyshew

himareadyroadtothereputationofwit,andimposeonhima

singularoath.

THOSEnoblemenpursuedthisstrainofconversation,tillDon

Matthias,aboutwhosepersonIwasfiddlingallthewhile,was

readytogoout.Hethentoldmetofollowhim;andthisbevyof

fashionablessetsailtogetherforthetavern,whitherDon

FerdinanddeGamboaproposedtoconductthem.Ibeganmymarchin

therearrankwiththreeothervalets;foreachofthegentlemen

hadhisown.Iremarkedwithastonishmentthatthesethree

servantscopiedtheirmasters,andassumedthesamefollies.I

introducedmyselfasanewcomer.Theyreturnedmysalutein

form;andoneofthem,afterhavingtakenmeasureofmevery

accurately,said—Brother,Iperceive,byyourgait,thatyou

haveneveryetlivedwithayoungnobleman.Alas!no,answeredI,

neitherhaveIbeenlonginMadrid.Soitappears,repliedhe,

yousmellstrongofthecountry.Youseemtimidandembarrassed;

thereisanhitchinyourdeportment.Butnomatter,wewillsoon

wearoffallstiffness,takemywordforit.Perhapsyouthink

betterofmethanIdeserve,saidI.No,resumedhe,no;thereis

nosuchcubaswecannotlickintoshape;assureyourselfof

that.

ThisspecimenwasenoughtoconvincemethatIhadheartyfellows

formycomrades,andthatIcouldnotbeinbetterhandsto

initiatemeintohighlifebelow-stairs.Onourarrivalatthe

tavern,wefoundanentertainmentreadywhichSignorDon

Ferdinandhadbeensoprovidentastoorderinthemorning.Our

masterssatdowntotable,andwearrangedourselvesbehindtheir

chairs.Theconversationwasspiritedandlively.Myearstingled

tohearthem.Theirhumour,theirwayofthinking,theirmodeof

expressiondivertedme.Whatfire!whatsalliesofimagination!

Theyappearedlikeaneworderofbeings.Withthedessert,we

setbeforethemagreatchoiceofthebestwinesinSpain,and

lefttheroom,togotodinnerinalittleparlour,whereour

clothwaslaid.

Iwasnotlongindiscoveringthatthecombatantsinourlists

hadmoretorecommendthemthanappearedatfirstsight.They

werenotsatisfiedwithapingthemannersoftheirmasters,but

evencopiedtheirphrases;andthesevarletsgavesucha

facsimile,thatbatingalittlevulgarity,theymighthavepassed

themselvesoffverywell.Iadmiredtheirfreeandeasycarriage;

stillmorewasIcharmedwiththeirwit,butdespairedofever

cominguptotheminmyownperson.DonFerdinand’sservant,on

thescoreofhismastertreatingours,didthehonours;and,

determinedtodothethinggenteelly,hecalledthelandlord,and

saidtohim—Mastertapster,giveustenbottlesofyourvery

bestwine;and,asyouhaveanhappyknackofdoing,makethe

gentlemenupstairsbelievethattheyhavedrankthem.Withall

myheart,answeredthelandlord;but,MasterGaspard,youknow

thatSignorDonFerdinandowesmeforagoodmanydinners

already.IfthroughyourkindinterventionIcouldgetsome

littlematteronaccount….Oh!interruptedthevalet,do

notbeatalluneasyaboutyourdebt:Iwilltakeituponmyself;

putitdowntome.Itistruethatsomeunmannerlycreditorshave

preferredlegalmeasurestoarelianceonourhonour;butwe

shalltakethefirstopportunityofobtainingareplevy,andwill

payyouwithoutlookingatyourbill.Tohavemymasteronyour

booksislikesomanyingotsofgold.Thelandlordbroughtusthe

wine,inspiteofunmannerlycreditors;andwedranktoaspeedy

replevy.Itwasasgoodasacomedytoseeusdrinkingeach

other’shealtheveryminute,underourmasters’titles.Don

Antonio’sservantcalledDonFerdinand’splainGamboa,andDon

Ferdinand’sservantcalledDonAntonio’sCentell�s:theydubbed

meSilva;andwekeptpaceindrunkenness,undertheseborrowed

names,withthenoblementowhomtheyproperlybelonged.

Thoughmywitwaslessconspicuousthanthatoftheotherguests,

theylostnoopportunityoftestifyingtheirpleasureinmy

acquaintance.Silva,saidoneofourmerriestsoakers,weshall

makesomethingofyou,myfriend.Iperceivethatyouhavewitat

will,ifyoudidbutknowhowtodrawuponit.Thefearof

talkingabsurdlypreventsyoufromthrowingoutatall;andyet

itisonlybyaboldpushthatathousandpeoplenow-a-daysset

themselvesupforgoodcompanions.Doyouwishtobebright?You

haveonlytogivethereinstoyourloquacity,andtoventure

indiscriminatelyonwhatevercomesuppermost:yourblunderswill

passfortheeccentricitiesofgenius.Thoughyoushouldutteran

hundredextravagances,letbutasinglegoodjokebepackedupin

thebundle,thenonsenseshallbeallforgotten,thewitticism

bandiedabout,andyourtalentbepuffedintohighrepute.This

isthehappymethodourmastershavedevised,anditoughttobe

adoptedbyallnewcandidates.BesidesthatIhadbuttoostrong

awishtopassforacleverfellow,thetricktheytaughtme

appearedsoeasyintheperformance,thatitoughtnottobe

buriedinobscurity.Itrieditatonce,andthefumesofthe

winecontributedtomysuccess;thatistosay,Italkedat

random,andhadthegoodlucktostrikeoutofmuchabsurdity

someflashesofmerriment,veryacceptabletomyaudience.This

firstessayinspiredmewithconfidence.Iredoubledmy

sprightliness,tosparkleinrepartee;andchancegavea

successfulissuetomyendeavours.

Welldone!saidmyfellow-servantwhohadaddressedmeinthe

street,donotyoubegintoshakeoffyourrusticmanners?You

havenotbeentwohoursinourcompany,andyouarequiteanother

creature:yourimprovementwillbevisibleeveryday.Thisitis

towaitonpeopleofquality.Itcausesanelevation,whichthe

mindcanneverattainunderaplebeianroof.Doubtless,answered

I—andforthatreasonIshallhenceforthdedicatemylittle

talentstothenobility.Thatisbravelysaid,roaredoutDon

Ferdinand’sservant,halfseasover,commonersarenotentitled

topossesssuchafundofsuperiorgeniusasexistsinus.Come,

gentlemen,letusmakeavownevertocolleaguewithanysuch

beggarlyfellows;letussweartothatbyStyx.Welaughed

heartilyatGaspard’sconceit:theproposalwasreceivedwith

applause:andwetookthismockoathwithourglassesinour

hands.

Thussatweattabletillourmasterswerepleasedtogetupfrom

it.Thiswasatmidnight;anoutrageousinstanceofsobriety,in

theopinionofmycolleagues.Tobesure,thesenoblelordsleft

thetavernsoearlyonlytovisitacelebratedwanton,lodgingin

thepurlieusofthecourt,andkeepingopenhousenightandday

forthevotariesofpleasure.Shewasawomanfromfiveand

thirtytoforty,stillintheheightofhercharms,entertaining

inherdiscourse,andsoperfectamistressintheartof

pleasure,thatshesoldthewasteandrefuseofherbeautyata

higherpricethanthefirstsampleoftheunadulteratedarticle.

Shehadalwaystwoorthreeotherpiecesofdamagedgoodsinthe

house,whocontributednotalittletothegreatconcourseof

nobilityresortingthither.Theafternoonwasspentinplay;then

supper,andthenightpassedindrinkingandmakingmerry.Our

mastersstaidtillmorning,andsodidwe,withoutthinkingthe

timelong;for,whiletheyweretoyingwiththemistresses,we

attackedthemaids.Atlength,weallpartedwhendaylightpeeped

inonourfestivities,andwenttobedeachofusatourseparate

homes.

Mymastergettingupathisusualtime,aboutnoon,dressed

himself.Hewentout.Ifollowedhim,andwepaidavisittoDon

AntonioCentell�s,withwhomwefoundoneDonAlvarodeAcuna.He

wasanoldgentleman,whogavelecturesonthescienceof

debauchery.Therisinggeneration,iftheywantedtoqualify

themselvesforfinegentlemen,putthemselvesunderhistuition.

Hemouldedtheirductilehabitstopleasure,taughtthemtomake

adistinguishedfigureintheworld,andtosquandertheir

substance:hehadnoqualmsastorunningouthisown,forthe

deedwasdone.Afterthesethreebladeshadexchangedthe

complimentsofthemorning,Centell�ssaidtomymaster—In

goodfaith,DonMatthias,youcouldnothavecomeatamorelucky

time.DonAlvariscometotakemewithhimtoadinner,givenby

acitizentotheMarquisdeZenetteandDonJuandeMoncade;and

youshallbeoftheparty.Andwhatisthecitizen’sname?said

DonMatthias.GregoriodeNoriega,saidDonAlvar,andIwill

describetheyoungmanintwowords.Hisfather,arichjeweller,

isgoneabroad,toattendtheforeignmarkets,andlefthisson,

athisdeparture,intheenjoymentofalargeincome.Gregoriois

ablockhead,withaturnforeverysortofextravagance,andan

awkwardhankeringafterthereputationofwitandfashion,in

despiteofnature.Hehasbeggedofmetogivehimafew

instructions.Imanagehimcompletely;andcanassureyou,

gentlemen,thatIleadhimararedance.Hisestateisrather

deeplydippedalready.Idonotdoubtit,exclaimedCentell�s;I

seethevulgardoginanalmshouse.Come,DonMatthias:letus

honourthefellowwithouracquaintance,andbeinatthedeath

ofhim.Willingly,answeredmymaster,forIdelightinseeing

thefortuneoftheseplebeianupstartskickedover,whenthey

affecttomixamongus.Nothing,forinstance,everentertained

mesomuchasthedownfallofthetoll-gatherer’sson,whomplay,

andthevanityoffiguringamongthegreat,havestripped,till

hehasnotahouseoverhishead.Oh!asforthat,repliedDon

Alvar,hedeservesnopity,heisasgreatacoxcombinhis

povertyashewasinhisprosperity.

Centell�sandmymasteraccompaniedDonAlvartoGregoriode

Noriega’sparty.Wewenttherealso,thatis,Mogiconandmyself;

bothinecstasyathavinganopportunityofspungingona

citizen,andpleasingourselveswiththethoughtofbeinginat

thedeathofhim.Atourentrance,weobservedseveralmen

employedinpreparingdinner;andthereissuedfromtheragouts

theyweretakingup,avapourwhichconciliatedthepalate

throughthemediumofthenostrils.TheMarquisdeZenetteand

DonJuandeMoncadewerejustcome.Thefounderofthefeast

seemedagreatsimpleton.Heapedthemanoffashionwithamost

clumsygrace;awretchedcopyofadmirableoriginals,or,more

properly,anidiotinthechairofwisdomandtaste.Figureto

yourselfamanofthischaracterinthecentreoffivebantering

fellows,allintentonmakingajestofhim,anddrawinghiminto

ridiculousexpenses.Gentlemen,saidDonAlvar,afterthefirst

interchangeofcivilities,givemeleavetointroduceyouto

SignorGregoriodeNoriega,amostbrilliantstarinthe

hemisphereoffashion.Heownsathousandamiablequalities.Do

youknowthathehasanhighlycultivatedunderstanding?Choose

yourownsubject,heisequallyathomeineverybranch,fromthe

subtiltyandclosenessoflogic,totheelementaryscienceofthe

criss-cross-row.Oh!thisisreallytooflattering,interrupted

thescotandlotgentlemanwithaveryuncouthlaugh.Imight,

SignorAlvaro,putyoutotheblushasyouhaveputme;foryou

maytrulybetermedareservoirasitwere,acommonsewerof

erudition.Ihadnointention,repliedDonAlvaro,todrawupon

myselfsosavouryanencomium;buttruly,gentlemen,Signor

Gregoriocannotfailofestablishinganameintheworld.Asfor

me,saidDonAntonio,whatissodelightfulinmyeyes,farabove

thehonoursoflogicorthecriss-crossrow,isthetasteful

selectionofhiscompany.Insteadofdemeaninghimselftothe

leveloftradesmen,heassociatesonlywiththeyoungnobility,

andsetstheexpenseatnought.Thereisanelevationof

sentimentinthisconductwhichenchantsme:andthisiswhatyou

maytrulycalldisbursingwithtasteandjudgment.

Theseironicalspeecheswereonlythepreludestoacontinual

strainofbanter.PoorGregoriowasattackedonallhands.The

witsshottheirboltsbyturns,buttheymadenoimpressionon

thefool;onthecontrary,hetookalltheysaidliterally,and

seemedhighlypleasedwithhisguests,asiftheydidhima

favourbymakinghimtheirlaughing-stock.Inshort,heserved

themforabuttwhiletheysatattable,whichtheydidnotquit

duringtheafternoon,nortilllateatnight.We,aswellasour

masters,drankasweliked,sothattheservants’-hallandthe

dining-roomwereinequallyhighorderwhenwetookourleaveof

theyoungjeweller.

CH.V.—GilBlasbecomesthedarlingofthefairsex,and

makesaninterestingacquaintance.

AFTERsomehours’sleepIgotupinfinespirits;andcallingthe

adviceofMelendeztomind,went,tillmymasterwasstirring,to

paymycourttooursteward,whosevanitywasratherflatteredby

thisattention.Hereceivedmewithagraciousair,andinquired

howIwasreconciledtothehabitsandmannersoftheyoung

nobility.Ianswered,thattheywerestrangetomeasyet,but

thatuseandgoodexamplemightworkwondersintheend.

Useandgoodexampledidworkwonders,andthatrightsoon.My

temperandconductwerequitealtered.Fromadiscreet,sober

lad,Igottobealively,heedlessmerry-andrew.DonAntonio’s

servantpaidmeacomplimentonmytransformation,andtoldme

thattherewantednothingbutatenderinterestinthelovely

partofthecreationtoshinelikeanewstardroppedfromthe

heavens.Hepointedouttomethatitwasanindispensable

requisiteinthecharacterofaprettyfellow,thatallourset

werewellwithsomefinewomanorother;andthathehimself;to

hisownshare,engrossedthefavoursoftwobeautiesinhigh

life.Iwasofopinionthattherascallied.MasterMogicon,said

I,youaredoubtlessaverydapper,livelylittlefellow,witha

modestassurance;butstillIdonotcomprehendhowwomenof

quality,nothavingyoursweetpersonontheirownprivate

establishments,shouldruntheriskofbeingdetectedinan

intriguewithafootmanoutofdoors.Oh!asforthat,answered

he,theydonotknowmycondition.Tomymaster’swardrobe,and

eventohisname,amIindebtedfortheseconquests.Iwilltell

youhowitis.Idressmyselfupasayoungnobleman,andassume

themannersofone.Igotopublicplaces,andtipthewinkfirst

toonewomanandthentoanother,tillImeetwithonewho

returnsthesignal.HerIfollow,andfindmeanstospeakwith

her.ItakethenameofDonAntonioCentell�s.Ipleadforan

assignation,theladyissqueamishaboutit;Iampressing,she

iskind,etcaetera.Thusitis,myfinefellow,thatIcontrive

tocarryonmyintrigues,andIwouldhaveyouprofitbythe

hint.

Iwastooambitiousofshininglikeanewstardroppedfromthe

heavens,toturnadeafeartosuchcounsel;besides,therewas

aboutmenoaversiontoanamour.Ithereforelaidaplanto

disguisemyselfasayoungnobleman,andlookoutforadventures

ofgallantry.Therewasariskinassumingmymasqueradedressat

home,lestitmightbeobserved.Itookacompletesuitfrommy

master’swardrobe,andmadeitupintoabundle,whichIcarried

toabarber’s,whereIthoughtIcoulddressandundress

conveniently.ThereItrickedmyselfouttothebestadvantage.

Thebarbertoolentahelpinghandtomyattire.Whenwethought

itadjustedtoanicety,IsaunteredtowardsSaintJerome’s

meadow,whenceIfeltmorallycertainthatIshouldnotreturn

withoutmakinganimpression.ButIcouldnotevengetthither,

withoutaproofofmyownattractions.

AsIwascrossingabye-street,aladyofgenteelfigure,

elegantlydressed,cameoutofasmallhouse,andgotintoan

hiredcarriagestandingatthedoor.Istoppedshorttolookat

her,andbowedsignificantly,soastoconveyanintimationthat

myheartwasnotinsensible.Onherpart,toshowmethather

facewasnotlesslovelythanherperson,sheliftedupherveil

foramoment.Inthemeantimethecoachsetoff,andIstood

stockstillinthestreet,notalittlestiffenedatthisvision.

Avastlyprettywoman!saidItomyself,blessus!thisisjust

whatiswantingtomakemeperfectlyaccomplished.Ifthetwo

ladieswhoshareMogiconbetweenthemareequallyhandsome,the

scoundrelisinluck!Ishouldbedelightedwithherfora

mistress.Ruminatingonthesethings,Ilookedbychancetowards

thehousewhencethatlovelycreaturehadglided,andsawata

windowonthegroundflooranoldwomanbeckoningmetocomein.

Iflewlikelightningintothehouse,andfound,inaveryneat

parlour,thisvenerableandwarymatron,who,takingmefora

marquisatleast,droppedalowcurtsey,andsaid—Idoubtnot,

mylord,butyoumusthaveabadopinionofawomanwho,without

theslightestacquaintance,beckonsyououtofthestreet;but

youwillperhapsjudgemorefavourablyofmewhenyoushallknow

thatIdonotpaythatcomplimentpromiscuously.Youlooklikea

manoffashion!Youareperfectlyintheright,myoldgirl,

interruptedI,stretchingoutmyrightleg,andthrowingthe

weightofmybodyonmylefthip;mineis,vanityapart,oneof

thebestfamiliesinSpain.Itmustbesobyyourlooks,replied

she,andIwillfairlyownthatIdelightindoingakindnessto

peopleofquality,thatismyweakside.Iwatchedyouthroughmy

window.Youlookedveryearnestlyataladywhohasjustleftme.

Perhapsyoumayhavetakenafancytoher?tellmesoplainly.By

thehonourofmyhouse,answeredI,shehasshotmethroughthe

heart.Ineversawanythingsotempting;amostdivinecreature!

Dobringusacquainted,mydear,andrelyonmygratitude.Itis

worthwhiletodotheselittleofficesforusofthebeaumonde;

theyarebetterpaidthanourbills.

Ihavetoldyouonceforall,repliedtheoldwoman,Iam

entirelydevotedtopeopleofcondition;itismypassiontobe

usefultothem:Ireceivehere,forexample,acertainclassof

ladies,whomappearancespreventfromseeingtheirfavouritesat

home.Ilendthemmyhouse,andthusthewarmthoftheir

constitutionsisindulged,withoutrisktotheircharacters.

Vastlywell,quothI,andyouhavejustdonethatkindnesstothe

ladyinquestion?No,answeredshe,thisisayoungwidowof

quality,inwantofanadmirer;butsodifficultinherchoice,

thatIdonotknowwhetheryouwilldoforher,howevergreat

yourrequisitesmaybe.Ihavealreadyintroducedtoherthree

well-furnishedgallants,butsheturneduphernoseatthem.Oh!

egad,mylife,exclaimedIconfidently,youhaveonlytostickme

inherskirts,Iwillgiveyouagoodaccountofher,takemy

wordforit.Ilongtohaveagrapplewithabeautyofsuch

peremptorydemands,theyhavenotyetfalleninmyway.Well,

then,saidtheoldwoman,youhaveonlytocomehitherto-morrow

atthesamehour,yourcuriosityshallbesatisfied.Iwillnot

fail,rejoinedI;weshallseewhetherayoungnoblemancanmiss

aconquest.

Ireturnedtothelittlebarber’swithoutlookingforother

adventures,butdeeplyinterestedintheeventofthis.

Therefore,onthefollowingday,Iwent,insplendidattire,to

theoldwoman’sanhoursoonerthanthetime.Mylord,saidshe,

youarepunctual,andItakeitkindly.Tobesurethegameis

worththechase.Ihaveseenouryoungwidow,andwehavehada

gooddealoftalkaboutyou.Notawordwastobesaid;butI

havetakensuchalikingtoyouthatIcannotholdmytongue.You

havemadeyourselfagreeable,andwillsoonbeahappyman.

Betweenourselves,theladyisarelishingmorsel,herhusband

didnotlivelongwithher;heglidedawaylikeashadow:shehas

allthemeritofanabsolutegirl.Thegoodoldlady,nodoubt,

meantoneofthoseclevergirls,whocontrivenottolivesingle,

thoughtheyliveunmarried.

Theheroineoftheassignationcamesooninanhiredcarriage,as

onthedaybefore,dressedverymagnificently.Assoonasshe

cameintotheroom,Iledoffwithfiveorsixcoxcombicalbows,

accompaniedbythemostfashionablegrimaces.Afterthis,Iwent

uptoherwithaveryfamiliarair,andsaid—Myadoredangel,

youbeholdagentlemanofnomeanrank,whomyourcharmshave

undone.Yourimage,sinceyesterday,hastakencomplete

possessionofmyfancy;youhaveturnedaduchessneckandheels

outofmyheart,whowasbeginningtoestablishafootingthere.

Thetriumphistoogloriousforme,answeredshe,throwingoff

herveil,butstillmytransportsarenotwithoutalloy.Young

menoffashionlovevariety,andtheirheartsare,theysay,

bandiedaboutfromonetotheotherlikeapieceofbasemoney.

Ah!mysovereignmistress,repliedI,letusleavethefutureto

shiftforitself;andthinkonlyofthepresent.Youarelovely,

Iaminlove.Ifmypassionisnothatefultoyou,letittake

itscourseatrandom.Wewillembarkliketruesailors,setthe

stormsandshipwreckofalongvoyageatdefiance,andonlytake

thefairweatherofthetimepresentintotheaccount.

Infinishingthisspeech,Ithrewmyselfinrapturesatthefeet

ofmynymph;andthebettertohitoffmyassumedcharacter,

pressedherwithsomelittlepeevishnessnottodelaymybliss.

Sheseemedalittletouchedbymyremonstrances,butthoughtit

toosoontoyield,andgivingmeagentlerebuff—Hold,said

she,youaretooimportunate,thisislikearake.Ifearyouare

butalooseyoungfellow.Forshame,madam,exclaimedI;canyou

setyourfaceagainstwhatwomenofthefirsttasteandcondition

encourage?Aprejudiceagainstwhatisvulgarlycalledvicemay

beallverywellforcitizens’wives.Thatisdecisive,replied

she,thereisnoresistingsoforcibleaplea.Iseeplainlythat

withmenofyourorderdissimulationistonopurpose;awoman

mustmeetyouhalfway.Learnthenyourvictory,addedshewith

anappearanceofdisorder,asifhermodestysufferedbythe

avowal;youhaveinspiredmewithsentimentssuchasarenewto

myheart,andIonlywaittoknowwhoyouare,thatImaytake

youformyacknowledgedlover.Ibelieveyouayounglordanda

gentleman,yetthereisnotrustingtoappearances;andhowever

prepossessedImaybeinyourfavour,Iwouldnotgiveawaymy

affectionstoastranger.

IrecollectedatthemomenthowDonAntonio’sservanthadgotout

ofasimilarperplexity;anddetermining,afterhisexample,to

passformymaster—Madam,saidItomydaintywidow,Iwill

notexcusemyselffromtellingyoumyname,itisonethatwill

notdisparageitsowner.HaveyoueverheardofDonMatthiasde

Silva?Yes,repliedshe;indeedIhaveseenhimwithaladyofmy

acquaintance.Thoughconsiderablyimprovedinimpudence,Iwasa

littletroubledbythisdiscovery.YetIralliedmyforcesinan

instant,andextricatedmyselfwithahappypresenceofmind.

Wellthen,myfairone,retortedI,theladyofyouracquaintance

….knowsalord….ofmyacquaintance….andIam

ofhisacquaintance;ofhisownfamily,sinceyoumustknowit.

Hisgrandfathermarriedthesister-in-lawofmyfather’suncle.

Youseeweareverynearrelations.MynameisDonCaesar.Iam

theonlysonofthegreatDonFerdinanddeRibera,slainfifteen

yearsago,inabattleonthefrontiersofPortugal.Icouldgive

youalltheparticularsoftheaction;itwasadevilishsharp

one….buttofightitoveragainwouldbelosingthe

preciousmomentsofmutuallove.

AfterthisdiscourseIgottobeimportunateandimpassioned,but

withoutbringingmattersatallforwarder.Thefavourswhichmy

goddesswinkedatmysnatching,tendedonlytomakemelanguish

forwhatshewasmorecharyof.Thetyrantgotbacktohercoach,

whichwaswaitingatthedoor.Nevertheless,Iwithdrew,well

enoughpleasedwithmysuccess,thoughitstillfellshortofthe

onlyperfectissue.IfsaidItomyself,Ihaveobtained

indulgencesbutbyhalves,itisbecausethislady,forsooth,is

ahigh-borndame,andthinksitbeneathherqualitytoplaythe

verywomanatthefirstinterview.Theprideofpedigreestands

inthewayofmyadvancementjustnow,butinafewdaysweshall

bebetteracquainted.Tobesure,itdidnotoncecomeintomy

head.thatshemightbeoneofthosecunninggipsiesalwayson

thecatch.YetIlikedbettertolookatthingsontherightside

thanonthewrong,andthusmaintainedafavourableopinionofmy

widow.Wehadagreedatpartingtomeetagainonthedayafter

themorrow;andthehopeofarrivingatthesummitofmywishes

gavemeaforetasteofthepleasureswithwhichItickledmy

fancy.

Withmybrainfullofjoyoustraces,Ireturnedtomybarber.

Havingchangedmydress,Iwenttoattendmymasteratthe

tennis-court.Ifoundhimatplay,andsawthathewon;forhe

wasnotoneofthoseimpenetrablegamesterswhomakeormara

fortunewithoutmovingamuscle.Inprosperityhewasflippant

andoverbearing,butquitepeevishonthelosingside.Heleft

thetennis-courtinhighspirits,andwentforthePrince’s

Theatre.Ifollowedhimtotheboxdoor,thenputtingaducatinto

myhand—Here,GilBlas,saidhe,asIhavebeenawinnerto-day,youshallnotbetheworseforit;go,divertyourselfwith

yourfriends,andcometomeaboutmidnightatArsenia’s,whereI

amtosupwithDonAlexoSegiar.Hethenwentin,andIstood

debatingwithwhomIshoulddisbursemyducat,accordingtothe

piouswillofthefounder.Ididnotmuselong.Clarin,Don

Alexo’sservant,justthencameinmyway.Itookhimtothenext

tavern,andweamusedourselvestheretillmidnight.Thencewe

repairedtoArsenia’shouse,whereClarinhadorderstoattend.A

littlefootboyopenedthedoor,andshowedusintoaroomdown-stairs,whereArsenia’swaiting-woman,andtheladywhoheldthe

sameofficeaboutFlorimonde,werelaughingreadytosplittheir

sides,whiletheirmistresseswereabove-stairswithourmasters.

Theadditionoftwojollyfellowsjustcomefromagoodsupper,

couldnotbeunwelcometoabigails,andtotheabigailsof

actressestoo;butwhatwasmyastonishmentwheninoneofthese

lowlyladiesIdiscoveredmywidow,myadorablewidow,whomI

tookforacountessoramarchioness!Sheappearedequallyamazed

toseeherdearDonCaesardeRiberametamorphosedintothevalet

ofabeau.However,welookedatoneanotherwithoutbeingoutof

countenance;indeed,suchatinglingsensationoflaughtercame

overusboth,aswecouldnothelpindulgingin.Afterwhich

Laura,forthatwashername,drawingmeasidewhileClarinwas

speakingtoherfellow-servant,heldoutherhandtomevery

kindly,andsaidinalowvoice—Acceptthispledge,SignorDon

Caesar;mutualcongratulationsaremoretothepurposethan

mutualreproaches,myfriend.Youtoppedyourparttoperfection,

andIwasnotquitecontemptibleinmine.Whatsayyou?confess

now,didnotyoutakemeforoneofthosepreciouspeeresseswho

arefondofalittlesmuggledamusement?Itisevenso,answered

I,butwhoeveryouare,myempress,Ihavenotchangedmy

sentimentswithmyparaphernalia.Acceptmyservicesingood

part,andletthevalet-de-chambreofDonMatthiasconsummate

whatDonCaesarhassohappilybegun.Getyougone,repliedshe,

Ilikeyoutentimesbetterinyournaturalthaninyour

artificialcharacter.YouareasamanwhatIamasawoman,and

thatisthegreatestcomplimentIcanpayyou.Youareadmitted

intothenumberofmyadorers.Wehavenolongeranyneedofthe

oldwomanasablind,youmaycomeandseemewheneveryoulike.

Wetheatricalladiesarenoslavestoform,butlivehiggledy-piggledywiththemen.Iallowthattheeffectsaresometimes

visible,butthepublicwinkhardatourirregularities;the

drama’spatrons,asyouwellknow,givethedrama’slaws,and

absolveusfromallothers.

Wewentnofurther,becausetherewerebystanders.The

conversationbecamegeneral,lively,jovial,incliningtoloose

jokes,notverycarefullywrappedup.Weallofusboreabob.

Arsenia’sattendantaboveall,myamiableLaura,wasvery

conspicuous;butherwitwassoextremelynimble,thathervirtue

couldneverovertakeit.Ourmastersandtheactressesonthe

floorabove,raisedincessantpealsoflaughter,whichreachedus

intheregionsbelow;andprobablytheentertainmentwasmuch

alikewiththecelestialsandtheinfernals.Ifalltheknowing

remarkshadbeenwrittendown,whichescapedfromthe

philosophersthatnightassembledatArsenia’s,Ireallythinkit

wouldhavebeenamanualfortherisinggeneration.Yetwecould

notarrestthechastemooninherprogress;therisingofthat

blab,thesun,partedus.ClarinfollowedtheheelsofDonAlexo,

andIwenthomewithDonMatthias.

CH.VI.—ThePrince’scompanyofcomedians.

Mymastergettingupthenextday,receivedanotefromDonAlexo

Segiar,desiringhiscompanyimmediately.Wewent,andfound

theretheMarquisdeZenette,andanotheryoungnoblemanof

prepossessingmanners,whomIhadneverseen.DonMatthias,said

Segiartomyprotector,introducingthestranger,givemeleave

topresentDonPompeyodeCastro,arelationofmine.Hehasbeen

atthecourtofPortugalalmostfromhischildhood.Hereached

Madridlastnight,andreturnstoLisbonto-morrow.Hecanallow

meonlyoneday.Iwishtomakethemostofthepreciousmoments,

andthoughtofaskingyouandtheMarquisdeZenettetomakeout

thetimeagreeably.ThereuponmymasterandDonAlexo’srelation

embracedheartily,andcomplimentedoneanotherinthemost

extravagantmanner.IwasmuchpleasedwithDonPompeyo’s

conversation,itshowedbothacutenessandsolidity.

TheydinedwithSegiar;andthegentlemen,afterthedessert,

amusedthemselvesatplaytillthetheatreopened.Thentheywent

alltogethertothePrince’sHouse,toseeanewtragedy,called

TheQueenofCarthage.Attheendofthepiecetheyreturnedto

supper,andtheirconversationranfirstonthecomposition,then

upontheactors.Asforthework,criedDonMatthias,Ithink

verylightlyofit.Eneasisamorepiousblockheadtherethanin

theEneid.Butitmustbeownedthatthepiecewasplayed

divinely.WhatdoesSignorDonPompeyothinkofit?Hedoesnot

seemtoagreewithme.Gentlemen,saidtheillustriousstranger

withasmile,youaresoenrapturedwithyouractors,andstill

morewithyouractresses,thatIscarcelydareavowmydissent.

Thatisveryprudent,interruptedDonAlexowithasneer,your

criticismswouldbeillreceived.Youshouldbetenderofour

actressesbeforethetrumpetersoftheirfame.Wecarousewith

themeveryday,wewarrantthemsoundintheirconceptions:we

wouldgivevouchersforthejustnessoftheirexpressionifit

werenecessary.Nodoubtofit,answeredhiskinsman,youwould

dothesamekindofficebytheirlivesandtheirmanners,from

thesamemotivesofcompanionablefeeling.

YourladiesofthesockandbuskinatLisbon,saidtheMarquisde

Zenette,laughing,aredoubtlessfarsuperior?Theycertainly

are,repliedDonPompeyo.Theyaresomeofthematleastperfect

intheircast.Andthese,resumedtheMarquis,wouldbewarranted

byyouintheirconceptionsandexpressions?Ihavenopersonal

acquaintancewiththem,rejoinedDonPompeyo.Iamnotoftheir

revels,andcanjudgeoftheirmeritwithoutpartiality.Doyou,

ingoodearnest,thinkyourcompanyfirst-rate?No,really,said

theMarquis,Ithinknosuchthing,andonlypleadthecauseofa

fewindividuals.Igiveupalltherest.Willyounotallow

extraordinarypowerstotheactresswhoplayedDido?Didshenot

personatethatqueenwiththedignity,andatthesametimewith

allthebewitchingcharms,calculatedtorealizeourideaofthe

character?Couldyouhelpadmiringtheskillwithwhichshe

seizesonthepassionsofthespectator,andharmonizestheir

tonetothevibrationsshepurposestoproduce?Shemaybecalled

perfectintheexquisiteartofdeclaiming.Iagreewithyou,

saidDonPompeyo,thatshecantouchthestringeitherofterror

orofpity:neverdidanyactresscomeclosertotheheart,and

theperformanceisaltogetherfine;butstillsheisnotwithout

herdefects.Twoorthreethingsdisgustedmeinherplaying.

Wouldshedenotesurprise?sheglanceshereyestoandfroina

mostextravagantmanner,altogetherunbecominghersupposed

majestyasaprincess.Addtothis,thatinswellinghervoice,

whichisofitselfsoundandmellifluous,shegoesoutofher

naturalkey,andassumesaharshrantingtone.Besides,itwould

seemasifshemightbesuspectedinmorethanonepassage,of

notveryclearlycomprehendingherauthor.YetIwouldincandour

rathersupposeherwantingindiligencethancapacity.

AsfarasIsee,saidDonMatthiastothecritic,youwillnever

writecomplimentaryodestoouractresses!Pardonme,answered

DonPompeyo.Icandiscoverhightalentthroughalltheir

imperfections.ImustsaythatIwasenchantedwiththe

chambermaidintheinterlude.Whatfinenaturalparts!Withwhat

graceshetreadsthestage!Hassheanythingpointedtodeliver?

sheheightensitbyanarchsmile,withakeenglanceand

sarcasticemphasis,whichconveymoretotheunderstandingthan

thewordstotheear.Itmightbeobjectedthatshesometimes

givestoomuchscopetoheranimalspirits,andexceedsthe

limitsofallowablefreedom,butthatwouldbehypercritical.

ThereisonebadhabitIshouldstronglyadvisehertocorrect.

Sometimesintheverycrisisoftheaction,andinanaffecting

passage,sheburstsinallatonceupontheinterestwithsome

misplacedjest,tocurryfavourwiththemobofbarren

spectators.Thepit,youwillsay,iscaughtbyherartifice;

thatmaybewellforherpopularity,butnotfortheirtaste.

Andwhatdoyouthinkofthemen?interruptedtheMarquis;you

mustgivethemnoquarter,sinceyouhavehandledthewomenso

roughly.Notso,saidDonPompeyo.Therearesomepromisingyoung

actors,andIamparticularlywellpleasedwiththatcorpulent

performerwhoplayedthepartofDido’sprimeminister.His

recitationisunaffected,andhedeclaimsjustastheydoin

Portugal.Ifyoucanbearsuchafellowasthat,saidSegiar,you

mustbecharmedwiththerepresentativeofEneas.Didnotyou

thinkhimagreat,anoriginalperformer?Veryoriginal,indeed,

answeredthecritic;hisinflectionsarequitehisown,theyare

asshrillasanhautboy.Almostalwaysoutofnature,herattles

theimpressivewordsofthesentenceoffhistongue,whilehe

laboursandlingersontheexpletives;thepoorconjunctionsare

frightenedattheirownreportastheygooff.Heentertainedme

excessively,andespeciallywhenhewasexpressinginconfidence

hisdistressatabandoningtheprincess;neverwasgriefmore

ludicrouslydepicted.Fairandsoftly,cousin,repliedDonAlexo;

youwillmakeusbelieveatlastthatgoodtasteisnotgreatly

cultivatedatthecourtofPortugal.Doyouknowthattheactor

ofwhomwearespeakingisesteemedaphenomenon?Didyounot

observewhatthundersofapplausehecalleddown?Hecannot

thereforebecontemptible.Thatthereforedoesnotprovethe

proposition,repliedDonPompeyo.But,gentlemen,letuslay

aside,Ibeseechyou,theinjudicioussuffragesofthepit;they

areoftengiventoperformersveryunseasonably.Indeed,their

boisteroustokensofapprobationaremorefrequentlybestowedon

paltrycopiesthanonoriginalmerit,asPhedrusteachesusbyan

ingeniousfable.Allowmetorepeatitasfollows:—Thewhole

populationofacitywasassembledinalargesquaretoseea

pantomimeplayed.Amongtheperformerstherewasonewhosefeats

wereapplaudedeveryinstant.Thisbuffoon,attheendofthe

entertainment,wishedtoclosethescenewithanewdevice.He

camealoneuponthestage,stoopingclown,coveringhisheadwith

hismantle,andbegancounterfeitingthesqueakofapig.He

acquittedhimselfsonaturallyastobesuspectedofhavingthe

animalitselfconcealedwithinthefoldsofhisdrapery.He

stripped,buttherewasnopig.Theassemblyrangwithmore

furiousapplausethanever.Apeasant,amongthespectators,was

disgustedatthismisplacedadmiration.Gentlemen,exclaimedhe,

youareinthewrongtobesodelightedwiththisbuffoon,heis

notsogoodamimicasyoutakehimfor.Icanenactthepig

better;ifyoudoubtit,onlyattendherethistimeto-morrow.

Thepeople,prejudicedinthecauseoftheirfavourite,collected

ingreaternumbersonthenextday,rathertohissthecountryman

thantoseewhathecoulddo.Therivalsappearedonthestage.

Thebuffoonbegan,andwasmoreapplaudedthanthedaybefore.

Thenthefarmerstoopingdowninhisturn,withhisheadwrapped

upinhiscloak,pulledtheearofarealpigunderhisarm,and

madeitsquealmosthorribly.Yetthisenlightenedaudience

persistedingivingthepreferencetotheirfavourite,andhooted

thecountrymanofftheboards;whoproducingthepigbeforehe

went,said—Gentlemen,youarenothissingme,buttheoriginal

pig.Somuchforyourjudgment.

Cousin,saidDonAlexo,yourfableisrathersatirical.

Nevertheless,inspiteofyourpig,wewillnotbateaninchof

ouropinion.Butletuschangethesubject,thisisgrown

threadbare.Thenyousetoffto-morrow,dowhatwecantokeep

youwithuslonger?Ishouldlike,answeredhiskinsman,to

protractmystaywithyou,butitisnotinmypower.Ihavetold

youalreadythatIamcometothecourtofSpainonanaffairof

state.Yesterday,onmyarrival,Ihadaconferencewiththe

primeminister;Iamtoseehimto-morrowmorning,andshallset

outimmediatelyafterwardsonmyreturntoLisbon.Youarebecome

quiteaPortuguese,observedSegiar,and,toallappearance,we

shallloseyouentirelyfromMadrid.Ithinkotherwise,replied

DonPompeyo,IhavethehonourtostandwellwiththeKingof

Portugal,andhavemanymotivesofattachmenttothatcourt;yet

withallthekindnessthatsovereignhastestifiedtowardsme,

wouldyoubelievethatIhavebeenonthepointofquittinghis

dominionsforever.Indeed!bywhatstrangeaccident?saidthe

Marquis.Giveusthehistory,Ibeseechyou.Veryreadily,

answeredDonPompeyo,andatthesametimemyown,foritis

closelyinterwovenwiththerecitalforwhichyouhavecalled.

CH.VII.—HistoryofDonPompeyodeCastro.

DONALEXOknows,thatfrommyboyishdays,mypassionwasfora

militarylife.Ourowncountrybeingatpeace,Iwentinto

Portugal;thencetoAfricawiththeDukeofBraganza,whogaveme

acommission.Iwasayoungerbrother,withasslendera

provisionasmostinSpain;sothatmyonlychancewasin

attractingthenoticeofthecommander-in-chiefbymybravery.I

wassofarfromdeficientinmyduty,thattheDukepromotedme,

stepbystep,tooneofthemosthonourablepostsintheservice.

Afteralongwar,ofwhichyouallknowtheissue,Idevoted

myselftothecourt;andtheKing,onstrongtestimonialsfrom

thegeneralofficers,rewardedmewithaconsiderablepension.

Alivetothatsovereign’sgenerosity,Ilostnoopportunityof

provingmygratitudebymydiligence.Iwasinattendanceas

oftenasetiquettewouldallowmetooffermyselftohisnotice.

BythisconductIgainedinsensiblytheloveofthatprince,and

receivednewfavoursfromhishands.

Oneday,whenIdistinguishedmyselfinrunningatthering,and

inabullfightprecedingit,allthecourtextolledmystrength

anddexterity.Onmyreturnhome,withmyhonoursthickuponme,

Ifoundthereanote,informingmethatalady,myconquestover

whomoughttoflattermemorethanallthegloryIhadgained

thatday,wishedtohavethepleasureofmycompany;andthatI

hadonlytoattendintheevening,ataplacemarkedoutinthe

letter.Thiswasmorethanallmypublictriumphs,andI

concludedthewritertobeawomanofthefirstquality.Youmay

guessthatIdidnotloiterbytheway.Anoldwomaninwaiting,

asmyguide,conductedmebyalittlegarden-gateintoalarge

house,andleftmeinanelegantcloset,saying—Stayhere,I

willacquaintmymistresswithyourarrival.Iobservedagreat

manyarticlesofvalueinthecloset,whichwasmagnificently

illuminated;butthissplendouronlycaughtmyattentionas

confirmingmeinmypreviousopinionofthelady’shighrank.If

appearancesstrengthenedthatconjecture,hernobleandmajestic

aironherentranceleftnodoubtonmymind.YetIwasalittle

outinmycalculation.

Noblesir,saidshe,afterthestepIhavetakeninyourfavour

itwereimpertinenttodisownmypartiality.Yourbrilliant

actionsofto-day,inpresenceofthecourt,werenotthe

inspirersofmysentiments,theyonlyurgeforwardthisavowal.I

haveseenyoumorethanonce,haveinquiredintoyourcharacter,

andtheresulthasdeterminedmetofollowtheimpulseofmy

heart.ButdonotsupposethatyouarewellwithaDuchess.Iam

butthewidowofacaptainintheKing’sGuards;yetthereis

somethingtothrowaradianceroundyourvictory….the

preferenceyouhavegainedoveroneofthefirstnoblemeninthe

kingdom.TheDuked’Almeydalovesme,andpresseshissuitwith

ardour,yetwithoutsuccess.Myvanityonlyinducesmetobear

hisimportunities.

ThoughIsawplainly,bythisaddress,thatIhadgotinwitha

coquet,mypresidingstarwasnotawhitoutofmygoodgraces

forinvolvingmeinthisadventure.DonnaHortensia,forthatwas

thelady’sname,wasjustintheripenessandluxurianceofyouth

anddazzlingbeauty.Nay,more,shehadrefusedthepossessionof

herhearttotheearnestentreatiesofaduke,andofferedit

unsolicitedtome.WhatafeatherinthecapofaSpanish

cavalier!IprostratedmyselfatHortensia’sfeet,tothankher

forherfavours.Italkedjustasamanofgallantryalwaysdoes

talk,andshehadreasontobesatisfiedwiththeextravaganceof

myacknowledgments.Thuswepartedthebestfriendsintheworld,

onthetermsofmeetingeveryeveningwhentheDuked’Almeydawas

preventedfromcoming;and.shepromisedtogivemeduenoticeof

hisabsence.Thebargainwasexactlyfulfilled,andIwasturned

intotheAdonisofthisnewVenus.

Butthepleasuresofthislifearetransitory.Withallthe

lady’sprecautionstoconcealourprivatetreatyofcommercefrom

myrival,hefoundmeansofgainingaknowledge,ofwhichit

concernedusgreatlytokeephimignorant:adisloyalchambermaiddivulgedthestatesecret.Thisnobleman,naturally

generous,butproud,self-sufficient,andviolent,was

exasperatedatmypresumption.Angerandjealousysethimbeside

himself.Takingcounselonlywithhisrage,heresolvedonan

infamousrevenge.OnenightwhenIwaswithHortensia,hewaylaid

meatthelittlegarden-gate,withallhisservantsprovidedwith

cudgels.AssoonasIcameout,heorderedmetobeseized,and

beattodeathbythesewretches.Layon,saidhe,lettherash

intrudergiveuptheghostunderyourchastisement;thusshall

hisinsolencebepunished.Nosoonerhadhefinishedthesewords,

thanhismyrmidonsassaultedmeinabody,andgavemesucha

beating,astostretchmesenselessontheground:afterwhich

theyhurriedoffwiththeirmaster,towhomthisbutcheryhad

beenadeliciouspastime.Ilaytheremainderofthenight,just

astheyhadleftme.Atdaybreaksomepeoplepassedby,who,

findingthatlifewasstillinme,hadthehumanitytocarryme

toasurgeon.Fortunatelymywoundswerenotmortal;and,falling

intoskilfulhands,Iwasperfectlycuredintwomonths.Atthe

endofthatperiodImademyappearanceagainatcourt,and

resumedmyformerwayoflife,exceptthatIsteeredclearof

Hortensia,whoonherpartmadenofurtherattempttorenewthe

acquaintance,becausetheDuke,onthatcondition,hadpardoned

herinfidelity.

Asmyadventurewasthetowntalk,andIwasknowntobeno

coward,peoplewereastonishedtoseemeasquietasifIhad

receivednoaffront;forIkeptmythoughtstomyself;andseemed

tohavenoquarrelwithanymanliving.Nooneknewwhattothink

ofmycounterfeitedinsensibility.Someimaginedthat,inspite

ofmycourage,therankoftheaggressoroverawedme,and

occasionedmytacitsubmission.Others,withmorereason,

mistrustedmysilence,andconsideredmyinoffensivedemeanouras

acovertomyrevenge.TheKingwasofopinionwiththeselast,

thatIwasnotamantoputupwithaninsult,andthatIshould

notbewantingtomyselfataconvenientopportunity.Todiscover

myrealintentions,hesentformeonedayintohiscloset,where

hesaid:DonPompeyo,Iknowwhataccidenthasbefallenyou,and

amsurprised,Iown,atyourforbearance.Youarecertainly

actingapart.Sire,answeredI,howcanIknowwhomto

challenge?Iwasattackedinthenightbypersonsunknown:itis

amisfortuneofwhichImustmakethebest.No,no,repliedthe

King,Iamnottobedupedbytheseevasiveanswers.Thewhole

storyhasreachedmyears.TheDuked’Almeydahastouchedyour

honourtothequick.Youarenoblyborn,andaCastilian:Iknow

whatthatdoublecharacterrequires.Youcherishhostiledesigns.

Admitmeapartytoyourpurposes;itmustbeso.Neverfearthe

consequencesofmakingmeyourconfidant.

Sinceyourmajestycommandsit,resumedI,mysentimentsshallbe

laidopenwithoutreserve.Yes,sir,Imeditateasevere

retribution.Everyman,wearingsuchanameasmine,mustaccount

foritsuntarnishedlustrewithhisfamily.Youknowtheunworthy

treatmentIhaveexperienced;andIpurposeassassinatingthe

Duked’Almeyda,asamodeofrevengecorrespondenttotheinjury.

Ishallplungeadaggerinhisbosom,orshoothimthroughthe

head,andescape,ifIcan,intoSpain.Thisismydesign.

Itisviolent,saidtheKing:andyetIhavelittletosay

againstit,aftertheprovocationwhichtheDuked’Almeydahas

givenyou.Heisworthyofthepunishmentyoudestineforhim.

Butdonotbeinahurrywithyourproject.Leavemetodevisea

methodofbringingyoutogetheragainasfriends.Oh!sir,

exclaimedIwithvexation,whydidyouextortmysecretfromme?

Whatexpedientcan….Ifmineisnottoyoursatisfaction,

interruptedhe,youmayexecuteyourfirstintention.Idonot

meantoabuseyourconfidence.Ishallnotimplicateyourhonour;

sorestcontentedonthathead.

IwasgreatlypuzzledtoguessbywhatmeanstheKingdesignedto

terminatethisaffairamicably:butthusitwas.Hesenttospeak

withtheDuked’Almeydainprivate.Duke,saidhe,youhave

insultedDonPompeyodeCastro.Youarenotignorantthatheisa

manofnoblebirth,asoldierwhohasservedwithcredit,and

standshighinmyfavour.Youowehimreparation.Iamnotofa

tempertorefuseit,answeredtheDuke.Ifhecomplainsofmy

outrageousbehaviour,Iamreadytojustifyitbythelawof

arms.Somethingverydifferentmustbedone,repliedtheKing:a

Spanishgentlemanunderstandsthepointofhonourtoowellto

fightonequaltermswithacowardlyassassin.Icanuseno

milderterm;andyoucanonlyatonefortheheinousnessofyour

conduct,bypresentingacaneinpersontoyourantagonist,and

offeringtosubmityourselftoitsdiscipline.Ohheaven!

exclaimedtheDuke:what!sir,wouldyouhaveamanofmyrank

degrade,debasehimselfbeforeasimplegentleman,andsubmitto

becaned!No,repliedthemonarch,IwillobligeDonPompeyoto

promisenottotouchyou.Onlyofferhimthecane,andaskhis

pardon:thatisallIrequirefromyou.Andthatistoomuch,

sir,interruptedtheDuked’Almeydawarmly;Ihadratherremain

exposedtoallthesecretmachinationsofhisresentment.Your

lifeisdeartome,saidtheking;andIshouldwishthisaffair

tohavenobadconsequences.Toterminateitwithlessdisgustto

yourself,IwillbetheonlywitnessofthesatisfactionwhichI

orderyoutooffertotheSpaniard.

TheKingwasobligedtostretchhisinfluenceovertheDuketo

theutmost,beforehecouldinducehimtosomortifyingastep.

However,theperemptorymonarcheffectedhispurpose,andthen

sentforme.Herelatedtheparticularsofhisconversationwith

myenemy,andinquiredifIshouldbecontentwiththestipulated

reparation.Ianswered,yes:andgavemywordthat,farfrom

strikingtheoffender,Iwouldnotevenacceptthecane,whenhe

presentedit.Withthisunderstanding,theDukeandmyselfata

certainhourattendedtheKing,whotookusintohiscloset.

Come,saidhetotheDuke,acknowledgeyourfault,anddeserveto

beforgivenbythehumilityofyourcontrition.Thenmy

antagonistmadehisapology,andofferedmethecaneinhishand.

DonPompeyo,saidthemonarchunexpectedly,takethecane,and

letnotmypresencepreventyoufromdoingjusticetoyour

outragedhonour.Ireleaseyoufromyourpromisenottostrike

theDuke.No,sir,answeredI,itisenoughthathehassubmitted

totheindignityoftheoffer:anoffendedSpaniardasksnomore.

Well,then!repliedtheKing,sinceyouarecontentwiththis

satisfaction,youmaybothofyouatonceassumetheprivilegeof

agentlemanlyquarrel.Measureyourswords,anddiscussthe

questionhonourably.ItiswhatImostardentlydesire,exclaimed

theDuked’Almeydainamenacingtone;forthatonlyiscompetent

tomakemeamendsforthedisgracefulstepIhavetaken.

Withthesewords,hewentawayfullofrageandshame;andsent

totellme,twohoursafter,thathewaswaitingforme,ina

retiredplace.Ikepttheappointment,andfoundthisnobleman

readytofightlustily.Hewasnotfiveandforty;deficient

neitherincouragenorinskill:sothatthematchwasfairand

equal.Comeon,DonPompeyo,saidhe,letusterminateour

differencehere.Ourhostilityoughttobereciprocallymortal;

yours,formyaggression,andmine,forhavingaskedyourpardon.

Thesewordswerenosooneroutofhismouth,thanhedrewuponme

sosuddenly,thatIhadnotimetoreply.Hepressedveryclosely

uponmeatfirst,butIhadthegoodfortunetoputbyallhis

thrusts.Iactedontheoffensiveinmyturn:theencounterwas

evidentlywithamanequallyskilledindefenceorinattack;

and.thereisnoknowingwhatmighthavebeentheissue,ifhe

hadnotmadeafalsestepinretiring,andfallenbackwards.I

stoodstillimmediately,andsaidtotheduke,Recoveryourself.

Whygivemeanyquarter?heanswered.Yourforbearanceonly

aggravatesmydisgrace.Iwillnottakeadvantageofanaccident,

repliedI;itwouldonlytarnishmyglory.Oncemorerecover

yourself,andletusfightitout.

DonPompeyo,saidherising,afterthisactofgenerosity,honour

allowsmenottorenewtheattackuponyou.Whatwouldtheworld

sayofme,wereItowoundyoumortally?Ishouldbebrandedasa

cowardforhavingmurderedaman,atwhosemercyIhadjust

beforelainprostrate.Icannotthereforeagainliftmyarm

againstyourlife,andIfeelmyresentfulpassionssubsiding

intothesweetemotionsofgratitude.DonPompeyo,letus

mutuallylayasideourhatred.Letusgostillfurther;letusbe

friends.Ah!mylord,exclaimedI,soflatteringaproposalI

joyfullyaccept.Iprofferyoumysincerefriendship;and,asan

earnest,promisenevermoretoapproachDonnaHortensia,though

sheherselfshouldinviteme.Itismyduty,saidhe,toyield

thatladytoyou.Justicerequiresmetogiveherup,sinceher

affectionsareyoursalready.No,no,interruptedI;youlove

her.Herpartialityinmyfavourwouldgiveyouuneasiness;I

sacrificemyownpleasurestoyourpeace.Ah!toogenerous

Castilian,repliedtheDuke,embracingme,yoursentimentsare

trulynoble.Withwhatremorsedotheystrikeme!Grievedand

ashamed,Ilookbackontheoutrageyouhavesustained.The

reparationintheKing’schamberseemsnowtootrifling.Abetter

recompenseawaitsyou.Toobliterateallremembranceofyour

shame,takeoneofmynieceswhosehandisatmydisposal.Sheis

arichheiress,notfifteen,withbeautybeyondtheattractions

ofmereyouth.

ImademyacknowledgmentstotheDukeintermssuchasthehigh

honourofhisalliancemightsuggest,andmarriedhisnieceafew

daysafterwards.Allthecourtcomplimentedthisnoblemanon

havingmadesuchgenerousamendstoaninsultedrival;andmy

friendstookpartinmyjoyatthehappyissueofanadventure

whichmighthaveledtothemostmelancholyconsequences.From

thistime,gentlemen,IhavelivedhappilyatLisbon.Iamthe

idolofmywife,andhavenotsunktheloverinthehusband.The

Duked’Almeydagivesmenewproofsoffriendshipeveryday;andI

mayventuretoboastofstandinghighintheKingofPortugal’s

goodgraces.Theimportanceofmyerrandhithersufficiently

assuresmeofhisconfidence.

CH.VIII.—Anaccident,inconsequenceofwhichGilBlaswas

obligedtolookoutforanotherplace.

SUCHwasDonPompeyo’sstory,whichDonAlexo’sservantand

myselfoverheard,thoughwewereprudentlysentawaybeforehe

beganhisrecital.Insteadofwithdrawing,weskulkedbehindthe

door,whichwehadlefthalfopen,andfromthatstationwedid

notmissaword.Afterthis,thecompanywentondrinking;but

theydidnotprolongtheircarousalstillthemorning,because

DonPompeyo,whowastospeakwiththeprimeminister,wishedfor

alittlerestbeforehand.TheMarquisdeZenetteandmymaster

tookacordialleaveofthestranger,andlefthimwithhis

kinsman.

Wewenttobedforoncebeforedaybreak;andDonMatthias,when

heawoke,investedmewithanewoffice.GilBlas,saidhe,take

pen,ink,andpaper,andwritetwoorthreelettersasIshall

dictate:youshallhenceforthbemysecretary.Wellandgood!

saidItomyself,apluralityoffunctions.Asfootman,Ifollow

mymaster’sheels;asvalet-de-chambre,Ihelphimtodress;and

writeforhimashissecretary.Heavenbepraisedformy

apotheosis!LikethetripleHecateofthePantheon,Iamtoenact

threedifferentcharactersatthesametime.Canyouguessmy

intention?continuedhe.Thusitis:buttakecarewhatyouare

about;yourlifemaydependonit.AsIamcontinuallymeeting

withfellowswhoboastoftheirsuccessamongthewomen,Imean,

bywayofgettingtheupperhand,tofillmypocketswith

fictitiouslove-letters,andreadthemincompany.Itwillbe

amusingenough.Happierthanmycompetitors,whomakeconquests

onlyforthepleasureoftheboast,Ishalltakethecreditof

intrigue,andsparemyselfthelabour.Butvaryyourwriting,so

thatthemanufacturemaynotbedetectedbythesamenessofthe

hand.

IthensatdowntocomplywiththecommandsofDonMatthias,who

firstdictatedatenderepistletothistune—Youdidnotkeep

yourpromiseto-night.Ah!DonMatthias,howwillyouexculpate

yourself?Myerrorwasacruelone!Butyoupunishmedeservedly

formyvanity,infancyingthatbusinessandamusementwereall

togivewaybeforethepleasureofseeingDonnaClaradeMendoza!

Afterthisprettynote,hemademewriteanother,asiffroma

ladywhosacrificedaprincetohim;andthenathird,whosefair

writeroffered,ifshecouldrelyonhisdiscretion,toembark

withhimfortheshoresofCythereanenchantment.Itwasnot

enoughtodictatetheselove-sickstrains;heforcedmeto

subscribethemwiththemosthigh-flyingnamesinMadrid.Icould

notforbearhintingatsomelittlehazardinallthis,buthe

beggedmetokeepmysagecounselstilltheywerecalledfor.I

wasobligedtoholdmytongue,anddispatchhisordersoutof

hand.Thatdone,hegotup,anddressedwithmyassistance.The

letterswereputintohispocket,andouthewent.Ifollowedhim

todinnerwithDonJuandeMoncade,whoentertainedfiveorsix

gentlemenofhisacquaintancethatday.

Therewasagrandset-out,andmirth,thebestrelish,wasnot

wantingtothebanquet.Alltheguestscontributedtoenliventhe

conversation,somebywitandhumour,othersbyanecdotesof

whichtherelatersweretheheroes.Mymasterwouldnotloseso

fineanopportunityofbringingourjointperformancestobear.

Hereadthemaudibly,andwithsomuchassurance,thatprobably

thewholeparty,withtheexceptionofhissecretary,wastaken

inbythedevice.Amongthecompany,beforewhomthistrickwas

soimpudentlyplayedoff,therewasoneperson,bynameDonLope

deVelasco.Thisperson,averygravedon,insteadofmaking

himselfmerryliketherestwiththefictitioustriumphsofthe

reader,askedhimcoollyiftheconquestofDonnaClarahadbeen

achievedwithanygreatdifficulty?Lessthantheleast,answered

DonMatthias;theadvanceswereallonherside.Shesawmein

public,andtookafancytomyperson.Ascoutwascommissioned

tofollowme,andthusshegotatmynameandcondition.She

wrotetome,andgavemeanappointmentatanhourofthenight

whenthehousewassuretobequiet.Iwastrueastheneedleto

thepole;herbedchamberwastheplace….Butprudenceand

delicacyforbidmydescribingwhatpassedthere.

Atthisinstanceoftenderregardforthelady’scharacter,

SignordeVelascobetrayedsomeverypassionateworkingsinhis

countenance.Itwaseasytoseetheinteresthetookinthe

subject.Alltheseletters,saidhetomymaster,lookingathim

withaneyeofindignationandcontempt,areinfamousforgeries,

andaboveallthatwhichyouboastofhavingreceivedfromDonna

ClaradeMendoza.ThereisnotinallSpainamoremodestyoung

creaturethanher.self.Forthesetwoyears,agentleman,at

leastyourequalinbirthandpersonalmerit,hasbeentrying

everymethodofinsinuatinghimselfintoherheart.Scarcelyhave

hisassiduitiesextortedtheslightestencouragement:butyethe

mayflatterhimselfthat,ifanythingbeyondcommoncivilityhad

beengrantedatall,itwouldhavebeentohimonly.Well!Who

saystothecontrary?interruptedDonMatthiasinabantering

way.Iagreewithyou,thattheladyisaveryprettybehaved

younglady.Onmypart,Iamaveryprettybehavedyoung

gentleman.Ergo,youmayrestassuredthatnothingtookplace

betweenusbutwhatwasprettyandwellbehaved.Indeed!Thisis

toomuch,interruptedDonLopeinhisturn;letuslayasidethis

unseasonablejesting.Youareanimpostor.DonnaClaranevergave

youanappointmentbynight.Herreputationshallnotbe

blackenedbyyourribaldry.Butprudenceanddelicacyforbidmy

describingwhatmustpassbetweenyouandme.Withthisretorton

hislips,helookedcontemptuouslyround,andwithdrewwitha

menacingaspect,whichanticipatedseriousconsequencestomy

judgment.Mymaster,whosecouragewasbetterthanhiscause,

heldthethreatsofDonLopeinderision.Ablockhead!exclaimed

he,burstingintoaloudfitoflaughter.Ourknights-errantused

totiltforthebeautyoftheirmistresses,thisfellowwould

engageinthelistsfortheforlornhopeofvirtueinhis;heis

moreridiculousthanhisprototypes.

Velasco’sretiring,invainopposedbyMoncade,occasionedno

interruptiontothemerriment.Theparty,withoutthinking

furtheraboutit,kepttheballupbriskly,anddidnotparttill

theyhadmadefreewiththenextday.Wewenttobed,thatis,my

masterandmyself,aboutfiveo’clockinthemorning.Sleepsat

heavyonmyeyelids,and,asIthought,wastakingpermanent

possessionthereof;butIreckonedwithoutmyhost,orrather

withoutourporter,whocameandwakedmeinanhour,tosaythat

therewasaladinquiringformeatthedoor.Oh!thouinfernal

porter,mutteredIindistinctly,throughtheintersticesofa

longyawn,doyouconsiderthatIhavebutnowgottobed?Tell

thelittlerascalthatIamjustasleep;hemustcomeagainby-and-by.Heinsists,repliedCerberus,onspeakingwithyou

instantly;hisbusinesscannotwait.AsthatwasthecaseIgot

up,putonnothingbutmybreechesanddoublet,andwentdown-stairs,swearingandgaping.Myfriend,saidI,besogoodasto

letmeknowwhaturgentaffairprocuresmethehonourofseeing

yousoearly?Ihavealetter,answeredhe,todeliverpersonally

intothehandsofSignorDonMatthias,tobereadbyhimwithout

lossoftime;itisofthelastconsequencetohim—prayshow

meintohisroom.AsIthoughtthematterlookedserious,Itook

thelibertyofdisturbingmymaster.Excuseme,saidI,for

wakingyou,butthepressingnature….Whatdoyouwant?

interruptedhe,justinmystylewiththeporter.Sir,saidthe

ladwhowasatmyelbow,hereisaletterfromDonLopede

Velasco.DonMatthiaslookedatthecover,brokeit,andafter

readingthecontents,saidtothemessengerofDonLope—My

goodfellow,Inevergetupbeforenoon,letthepartybeeverso

agreeable;judgewhetherIcanbeexpectedtobestirringbysix

inthemorningforasmall-swordrecreation.Youmaytellyour

master,thatifhechoosestokickhisheelsatthespottill

half-pasttwelve,wewillcomeandseehowhelooksthere—

carryhimthatanswer.Withthisflippantspeechheplungeddown

snuglyunderthebedclothesandfellfastasleepagainasif

nothinghadhappened.

Betweenelevenandtwelvehegotupanddressedhimselfwiththe

utmostcomposure,andwentout,tellingmethattherewasno

occasionformyattendance:butIwastoomuchonthetenterhooks

abouttheresulttomindhisorders.IsneakedafterhimtoSaint

Jerome’smeadow,whereIsawDonLopedeVelascowaitingforhim.

Itookmystationtowatchthem;andwasaneye-witnesstoall

thecircumstancesoftheirrencounter.Theysaluted,andbegan

theirfiercedebatewithoutdelay.Theengagementlastedlong.

Theyexchangedthrustsalternately,withequalskillandmettle.

Thevictory,however,wasonthesideofDonLope:heranmy

masterthrough,laidhimhelplessontheground,andmadehis

escape,withapparentsatisfactionattheseverereprisal.Iran

uptotheunfortunateDonMatthias,andfoundhiminamost

desperatesituation.Thesightmeltedme.Icouldnothelp

weepingatacatastrophetowhichIhadbeenaninvoluntary

contributor.Nevertheless,withallsympathy,Ihadstillmy

littlewitsaboutme.HomewentIinahurry,withoutsayinga

word.Imadeupabundleofmyowngoodsandchattels,

inadvertentlyslippinginsomeoddarticlesbelongingtomy

master:andwhenIhaddepositedthiswiththebarber,wheremy

dressasafinegentlemanwasstilllodged,Ipublishedthenews

ofthefatalaccident.Anygapermighthaveitforthetroubleof

listening;andaboveall,ItookcaretomakeRodriguez

acquaintedwithit.Hewouldhavebeenextremelyafflicted,but

thathisownproceedingsinthisdelicatecaserequiredallhis

attention.Hecalledtheservantstogether,orderedthemto

followhim,andwewentalltogethertoSaintJerome’smeadow.

DonMatthiaswastakenupalive,buthediedthreehoursafterhe

wasbroughthome.ThusendedthelifeofSignorDonMatthiasde

Silva,onlyforhavingtakenafancytoreadingsupposititious

love-lettersunseasonably.

CH.IX.—Anewservice,afterthedeathofDonMatthiasde

Silva.

Somedaysafterthefuneral,theestablishmentwaspaidupand

discharged.Ifixedmyhead-quarterswiththelittlebarber,ina

verycloseconnectionwithwhomIbegantolive.Itseemedto

promisemorepleasurethanwithMelendez.AsIwasinnowantof

money,itwastimeenoughtothinkofanotherplace:besides,I

hadgottoberatherniceonthathead.Iwouldnotgointo

serviceanymore,butinfamiliesabovethevulgar.Inshort,I

wasdeterminedtoinquireverystrictlyintothecharacterofa

newplace.Thebestwouldnotbetoogood;suchhighpretensions

didthelatevaletofayoungnoblemanthinkhimselfentitledto

assumeabovethecommonherdofservants.

Waitingtillfortuneshouldthrowasituationinmyway,worthy

tobehonouredbymyacceptance,IthoughtIcouldnotdobetter

thantodevotemyleisuretomycharmingLaura,whomIhadnot

seensincethepleasantoccurrenceofourdoublediscovery.I

couldnotventureondressingasDonCaesardeRibera;itwould

havebeenanactofmadnesstohaveassumedthatstylebutasa

disguise.Besidesthatmyownsuitwasnotmuchoutofcondition,

allsmallerarticleshadpropagatedmiraculouslyintheaforesaid

bundle.Imademyselfup,therefore,withthebarber’said,asa

sortofmiddlemanbetweenDonCaesarandGilBlas.Inthisdemi-character,IknockedatArsenia’sdoor.Laurawasaloneinthe

parlourwherewehadmetlast.Ah!isityou?criedshe,assoon

asshesawme;Ithoughtyouwerelost.Youhavehadleaveto

comeandseemeforthisweek:butitseemsyouaremodest,and

donotpresumetoomuchonyourlicense.

Imademyapologyonthescoreofmymaster’sdeath,withmyown

engagementsconsequentthereupon;andIadded,inthespiritof

gallantry,thatinmygreatestperplexities,mylovelyLaurahad

alwaysbeenforemostinmythoughts.Thatbeingso,saidshe,I

havenomorereproachestomake;andIwillfranklyownthatI

havethoughtofyou.AssoonasIwasacquaintedwiththe

untimelyendofDonMatthias,aplanoccurredtome,probablynot

quitedispleasingtoyou.Ihaveheardmymistresssaysometime

ago,thatshewantedasortofmanofbusiness;agood

arithmetician,tokeepanexactaccountofouroutgoings.Ifixed

myaffectionsonyourlordship;youseemexactlycalculatedfor

suchanoffice.Ifeelmyself,answeredI,astewardby

inspiration.IhavereadallthatAristotlehaswrittenon

finance;andasforreducingittothemodernsystemofbook-keeping….But,mydeargirl,thereisoneimpedimentinthe

way.Whatimpediment?saidLaura.Ihavesworn,repliedI,never

againtolivewithacommoner:IhaveswornbyStyx,orsomething

elseasbinding.IfJupitercouldnotburstthelinksofsuchan

oath,judgewhetherapoorservantoughtnottobeboundbyit.

Whatdoyoumeanbyacommoner?rejoinedtheimpetuousabigail:

forwhatdoyoutakeusactresses?Doyoutakeusfortheribsof

thelimbsofthelaw?forattorneys’wives?Iwouldhaveyouto

know,myfriend,thatactressesrankwiththefirstnobility;

beingonlycommontotheuncommon,andtherefore,thoughcommon,

uncommonlyillustrious.

Onthatfooting,myuncommoncommoner,saidI,thepostyouhave

destinedformeismine:Ishallnotlowermydignityby

acceptingit.No,tobesure,saidshe:backwardsandforwards

betweenapuppyoffashionandashe-wolfofthestage;why,it

isexactlypreservinganequilibriumofrankinthecreation.We

aresympatheticanimals,justonalevelwiththepeopleof

quality.Wehaveourequipagesinthesamestyle;wegiveour

littlesuppersonthesamescale;andonthebroadgroundweare

justofasmuchuseincivilsociety.Infact,todrawaparallel

betweenamarquisandaplayerthroughthespaceoffourand

twentyhours,theyarejustonapar.Themarquis,forthree-fourthsofthetime,ranksabovetheplayerbypoliticalcourtesy

andsufferance:theplayer,duringhishouronthestage,

overtopsthemarquisinthepartofanemperororaking,which

hebetterknowshowtoenact.Thusthereseemstobeabalance

betweennaturalandpoliticalnobility,whichplacesusatleast

onalevelwiththelivelumberofthecourt.Yes,truly,replied

I,youareamatchforoneanother,thereisnogainsayingit.

Blesstheirdearhearts!theplayersarenotmenofstraw,asI

foolishlybelieved,andyouhavemademymouthwatertoserve

suchaworshipfulfraternity.Well,then!resumedshe,youhave

onlytocomebackagainintwodays.Thattimewillbesufficient

toinclinemymistressinyourfavour;Iwillspeakupforyou.

Sheisalittleundermyinfluence;Idonotfearbringingyou

underthisroof.

IthankedLauraforhergooddispositions.Mygratitudetookthe

readiestwaytoproveitselftohercomprehension;andmytender

thrillingsexpressedmorethanwords.Wehadaprettylong

conversationtogether,anditmighthavelastedtillthistime,

ifalittleskippingfellowhadnotcometotellmynymphofthe

sidescenesthatArseniawasinquiringforher.Weparted.Ileft

thehouse,inthesweethopeofsoonlivingtherescot-free;and

myfacewasshownupagainatthedoorintwodays.Iwaslooking

outforyou,saidmyaccomplishedscout,toassureyouthatyou

areamessmateatthishouse.Come,followme;Iwillintroduce

youtomymistress.Atthesewords,sheledmeintoasuiteof

fiveorsixroomsonafloor,inaregulargradationofcostly

furnitureandtastefulequipment.

Whatluxury!Whatmagnificence!Ithoughtmyselfinpresenceofa

vicequeen,or,tomendthepovertyofthecomparison,inafairy

palace,wherealltherichesoftheearthwerecollected.In

fact,thereweretheproductionsofmanypeopleandofmany

countries,sothatonemightdescribethisresidenceasthe

templeofagoddess,whithereverytravellerbroughtsomerare

productofhisnativeland,asavotiveoffering.Thedivinity

wasrecliningonavoluptuoussatinsofa:shewaslovelyinmy

eyes,andpamperedwiththefumesofdailysacrifices.Shewasin

atemptingdishabille,andherpolishedhandswereelegantlybusy

aboutanewhead-dressforherappearancethatevening.Madam,

saidtheabigail,hereisthatsaidsteward;takemywordforit,

youwillnevergetonemoretoyourliking.Arsenialookedatme

veryinquisitively,anddidnotfindmedisagreeable.Why,this

issomething,Laura,criedshe;averysmartyouthtruly:I

foreseethatweshalldoverywelltogether.Thendirectingher

discoursetome,Youngman,addedshe,yousuitmetoahair,and

Ihaveonlyoneobservationtomake:youwillbepleasedwithme,

ifIamsowithyou.IansweredthatIshoulddomyutmostto

servehertoherheart’scontent.AsIfoundthatthebargainwas

struck,Iwentimmediatelytofetchinmyownlittle

accommodations,andreturnedtotakeformalpossession.

CH.X.—Muchsuchanotherastheforegoing.

ITwasnearthetimeofthedoorsopening.Mymistresstoldmeto

attendhertothetheatrewithLaura.Wewentintoherdressing-room,whereshethrewoffherordinaryattire,andassumedamore

splendidcostumeforthestage.Whentheperformancebegan,Laura

shewedmetheway,andseatedherselfbymysidewhereIcould

seeandheartheactorstoadvantage.Theydisgustedmeforthe

mostpart,doubtlessbecauseDonPompeyohadprejudicedme

againstthem.Severalofthemwereloudlyapplauded,butthe

fableofthepigwouldnowandthencomeacrossmymind.

Lauratoldmethenamesoftheactorsandactressesastheymade

theirentrances.Nordidshestopthere,forthehussygavesome

highlyseasonedanecdotesintothebargain.Hercharacterswere,

crack-brainforthis,impertinentfellowforthat.Thatdelicate

sampleofsin,whodependsonherwantonnessforherattractions,

goesbythenameofRosarda:abadspeculationforthecompany!

SheoughttobesentwiththenextcargotoNewSpain,shemay

answerthepurposeoftheviceroy.Takeparticularnoticeofthat

brilliantstarnowcomingforward;thatmagnificentsettingsun,

increasinginbulkasitsfiresbecomelessvivid.Thatis

Casilda.Iffromthatdistantdaywhenshefirstlaidherself

opentoherlovers,shehadrequiredfromeachofthemabrickto

buildapyramid,likeanancientEgyptianprincess,theedifice

bythistimewouldhavemountedtothethirdheaven.Inshort,

Lauratoreallcharactertopiecesbyherscandal.Heavenforgive

herwickedtongue!Sheblasphemedherownmistress.

AndyetImustownmyweakness.Iwasinlovewiththewench,

thoughhermoralswerenotstrictlypure.Shescandalizedwithso

winningamalignitythatonelikedherthebetterforit.Off

wentthejill-flirtbetweentheacts,toseeifArseniawanted

her;butinsteadofcomingstraightbacktoherplace,sheamused

herselfbehindthescenes,inlayingherselfoutforthelittle

flatteriesofallthewheedlingfellows.Idoggedheronce,and

foundthatshehadaverylargeacquaintance.Nolessthanthree

playersdidIreckonup,whostoppedtochatwithheroneafter

theother,andtheyseemedtobeonaveryimprovablefooting.

Thiswasnotquitesowell;andforthefirsttimeinmylifeI

feltwhatjealousywas.Ireturnedtomyseatsoabsentandout

ofspirits,thatLauraremarkeditassoonasshecamebackto

me.Whatisthematter,GilBlas,saidshewithastonishment;

whatbluedevilhaspercheduponyourshoulderinmyabsence?You

lookgloomyandoutoftemper.Myfairyqueen,answeredI,itis

notwithoutreason,youhaveanuglykickinyourgallop.Ihave

observedyouwiththeplayers….So,so!Anadmirable

subjectforalongface,interruptedshewithalaugh.What!That

isyourtrouble,isit?Whyreally!Youareaverysillyswain;

butyouwillgetbetternotionsamongus.Youwillfallby

degreesintooureasymanners.Nojealousy,mydearcreature,you

willbecompletelylaughedoutofitinthetheatricalworld.The

passionisscarcelyknownthere.Fathers,husbands,brothers,

uncles,andcousins,arealluponaliberalplanofcommunity,

andoftenmakeastrangejumbleofrelationships.

Afterhavingwarnedmetotakenoumbrage,buttolookat

everythinglikeaphilosophicalspectator,shevowedthatIwas

thehappymortalwhohadfoundthewaytoherheart.Shethen

declaredthatsheshouldlovemealways,andonlyme.Onthis

assurance,whichamanmighthavedoubtedwithoutcriminal

scepticism,Ipromisedhernottobealarmedanymore,andkept

myword.Isawher,onthatveryevening,whisperandgigglewith

morementhanone.Attheendoftheplaywereturnedhomewith

ourmistress,whitherFlorimondecamesoonaftertosupper,with

threeoldnoblemenandaplayer.BesidesLauraandmyself,the

establishmentconsistedofacook-maid,acoachman,andalittle

footboy.Wealllabouredinourrespectivevocations.Theladyof

thefrying-pan,nolessanadeptthanDameJacintha,wasassisted

inhercookerybythecoachman.Thewaiting-womanandthelittle

footboylaidthecloth,andIsetoutthesideboard,

magnificentlyfurnishedwithplate,offeredupattheshrineof

ourgreen-roomgoddess.Therewaseveryvarietyofwines,andI

playedthecup-bearer,toshowmymistresstheversatilityofmy

talents.Isweatedattheimpudenceoftheactressesduring

supper;theygavethemselvesqualityairs,andaffectedthetone

ofhighlife.Farfromgivingtheirguestsalltheirstyleand

titles,theydidnotevenvouchsafeasimple“Yourlordship,”but

calledthemfamiliarlybytheirpropernames.Tobesure,theold

foolsencouragedtheirvanitybyforgettingtheirowndistance.

Theplayer,forhispart,inthehabitsoftheheroiccast,lived

onequaltermswiththem;hechallengedthemtodrink,andin

everyrespecttooktheupperhand.Ingoodtruth,saidIto

myself,whileLaurawasdemonstratingtheequalityoftheMarquis

andthecomedianduringtheday,shemighthavedrawnastill

strongerinferenceforthenight,sincetheypassitsomerrily

indrinkingtogether.

ArseniaandFlorimondewerenaturallyfrolicsome.Athousand

broadhintsescapedthem,intermingledwithsmallfavours,and

thenacoquettishrevoltattheirownfreedom,whichwereall

seasonedexactlytothetasteoftheseoldsinners.Whilemy

mistresswasentertainingoneofthemwithalittleharmless

toying,herfriend,betweentheotherelders,hadnottakenthe

cueofSusanna.WhileIwascontemplatingthispicture,whichhad

buttoomanyattractionsforaknowingyouthlikeme,thedessert

wasbroughtin.ThenIsetthebottlesandglassesonthetable,

andmademyescapetosupwithLaura,whowaswaitingforme.How

now!GilBlas,saidshe,whatdoyouthinkofthosenoblemen

above-stairs?Doubtless,answeredI,theyaredeeplysmittenwith

ArseniaandFlorimonde.No,repliedshe,theyareold

sensualists,whohangaboutoursexwithoutanyparticular

attachment.Alltheyaskissomelittlefrivolouscompliance,and

theyaregenerousenoughtopaywellfortheleasttrifleof

amorousendearment.Heavenbepraised,Florimondeandmymistress

areatpresentwithoutanyseriousengagements;Imeanthatthey

havenohusband-likelovers,whoexpecttoengrossallthe

pleasuresofahouse,becausetheystandtotheexpenses.Formy

part,Iamverygladofit:andmaintainthatasensiblewomanof

theworldoughttorefuseallsuchmonopolies.Whytakeamaster?

Itisbettertosupportanestablishmentbyretailtrade,thanto

confineone’sselftochamberpracticeonsuchterms.

WhenLaura’stonguewaswoundup,anditwasseldomdown,words

seemedtocosthernothing.Whatagloriousvolubility!Shetold

athousandstoriesoftheactressesbelongingtotheprince’s

company;andIgatheredfromherwholedriftthatIcouldnotbe

bettersituatedtotakeascientificviewofthecardinalvices.

UnfortunatelyIwasatanagewhentheyinspirebutlittle

horror;andthisabigailhadtheartofcolouringhercorruptions

solusciouslyastohidetheirdeformitiesandheightentheir

meretriciouslure.Shehadnottimetoopenthetenthpartofher

theatricalbudget,forshedidnottalkmorethanthreehours.

ThesenatorsandtheplayerwentawaywithFlorimonde,whomthey

sawsafehome.

Whentheyweregone,mymistresssaidtome—Here,GilBlas,

aretenpistolestogotomarketto-morrow.Fiveorsixofour

gentlemenandladiesaretodinehere,takecarethatwearewell

served.Madam,answeredI,withthissumthereshallbeabanquet

forthewholetroop.Myfriend,repliedArsenia,correctyour

phraseology;youmustsaycompany,nottroop.Atroopofrobbers,

atroopofbeggars,atroopofauthors;butacompanyof

comedians,especiallywhenyouhavetomentiontheactorsof

Madrid.Ibeggedmymistress’spardonforhavingusedso

disrespectfulaterm,andentreatedhertoexcusemyignorance.I

protestedthathenceforward,whenIspokecollectivelyofso

augustabody,Iwouldalwayssaythecompany.

CH.XI.—Atheatricallifeandanauthor’slife

ITOOKthefieldthenextmorning,toopenmycampaignas

steward.Itwasafishday;forwhichreasonIboughtsomegood

fatchickens,rabbits,partridges,andeveryvarietyofgame.As

thegentlemenofthesockandbuskinarenotonthebestpossible

termswiththechurch,theyarenotover-scrupulousintheir

observanceoftherubric.Ibroughthomeprovisionsmorethan

enoughforadozenportlygentlementohavefastedonduringa

wholeLent.Thecookhadagoodmorning’swork.Whileshewas

gettingdinnerready,Arseniagotupandspenttheearlypartof

thedayathertoilet.Atnooncametwooftheplayers,Signor

RosimiroandSignorRicardo.Afterwardstwoactresses,Constance

andCelinaura;thenenteredFlorimonde,attendedbyamanwhohad

alltheappearanceofamostsprucecavalier.Hehadhishair

dressedinthemostelegantmanner,hishatsetoffwitha

fashionableplume,verytightbreeches,andashirtwithalaced

frill.Hisglovesandhishandkerchiefwereinthehiltofhis

sword,andheworehiscloakwithagracealtogetherpeculiarto

himself.

Withaprepossessingphysiognomyandagoodperson,therewas

somethingextraordinaryinthefirstblushofhim.This

gentleman,saidItomyself,mustbeanoriginal.Iwasnot

mistaken;hissingularitieswerestriking.Onhisentrance,he

ranwithopenarmsandembracedthecompany,maleandfemale,one

afteranother.HisgrimacesweremoreextravagantthananyIhad

yetseeninthisregionoffoppery.Mypredictionwasnot

falsifiedbyhisdiscourse.Hedweltwithfondnessonevery

syllableheuttered,andpronouncedhiswordsinanemphatic

tone,withgesturesandglancesartfullyadaptedtothesubject.

IhadthecuriositytoaskLaurawhothisstrangefiguremight

be.Iforgiveyou,saidshe,thisinstanceofaninquisitive

disposition.ItisimpossibletoseeandtohearSignorCarlos

AlonsodelaVentoleriaforthefirsttime,withouthavingsucha

naturallonging.Iwillpainthimtothelife.Inthefirst

place,hewasoriginallyaplayer.Heleftthestagethrough

caprice,andhassincerepentedinsobersadnessofthestep.Did

younoticehisdarkhair?Everythreadofitispencilled,as

wellashiseyebrowsandhiswhiskers.Hewasborninthereign

ofSaturn’sfather,intheagebeforethegolden;butasthere

werenoparishregistersatthattime,heavailshimselfofthe

primitivebarbarism,anddatesatleasttwentycenturiesbelow

thetrueepoch.Moreover,hisself-sufficiencykeepspacewith

hisantiquity.Hepassedtheolympiadsofhisyouthinthe

grossestignorance;buttakingafancytobecomelearnedabout

theChristianera,heengagedaprivatetutor,whotaughthimto

spellinGreekandLatin.Nay,more,heknowsbyheartan

infinitenumberofgoodstories,whichhehasgivensooftenas

genuine,thatheactuallybeginstobelievethemhimself.They

areeternallypressedintotheservice,anditmaytrulybesaid

thathiswitshinesattheexpenseofhismemory.Heisthought

tobeagreatactor.Iamwillingtobelieveitimplicitly,butI

mustownheisnottomytaste.Hedeclaimsheresometimes;andI

haveobserved,amongotherdefects,anaffectationinhis

delivery,withatremulousnessofvoiceborderingonthe

antiquatedandridiculous.

Suchwastheportraitdrawnbymyabigailofthishonorary

spouter;andneverwasmortalofamorestatelycarriage.He

pridedhimselftooonbeinganagreeablecompanion.Heneverwas

atalossforacommodityoftriteremarks,whichhedelivered

withanairofauthority.Ontheotherhand,theThespian

fraternitywerenotmuchaddictedtosilence.Theybegan

canvassingtheirabsentcolleaguesinamannerlittleconsistent

withcharity,itmustbeowned;butthisisafailingpardonable

inplayersaswellasinauthors.Thefiregrewbriskandthe

satirepersonal.Youhavenotheard,ladies,saidRosimiro,anew

strokeofourdearbrotherCesarino.Thisverymorninghebought

silkstockings,ribbons,andlaces,andsentthemtorehearsalby

alittlepage,asapresentfromacountess.Whataknavish

trick!saidSignordelaVentoleria,withasmilemadeupof

fatuityandconceit.Inmytimetherewasmorehonesty,wenever

thoughtofdescendingtosuchimpositions.Tobesure,womenof

fashionweretenderofourinventivefaculties,nordidthey

leavesuchpurchasestobemadeoutofourownpockets;itwas

theirwhim.Bythehonourofourhouse,saidRicardo,inthesame

strain,thatwhimoftheirsislasting,andifitwereallowable

tokissandtell….Butonemustbesecretonthese

occasions,aboveallwhenpersonsofacertainrankare

concerned.

Gentlemen,interruptedFlorimonde,atruce,ifyouplease,with

yourconquestsandsuccesses,theyareknownoverthewhole

earth.AproposofIsmene.Itissaidthatthenoblemanwhohas

fooledawaysomuchmoneyuponher,hasatlengthrecoveredhis

senses.Yes,indeed,exclaimedConstance;andIcantellyou

besidesthatshehaslost,bythesamestroke,asnuglittlehero

ofthecountinghouse,whoseruinwouldotherwisehavebeen

signedandsealed.Ihavethethingfromthefirsthand.Her

Mercurymadeanunfortunatemistake,forhecarriedatender

invitationtoeach,anddeliveredthemwrong.Theseweregreat

losses,mydarling,quothFlorimonde.Oh!asforthatofthe

lord,repliedConstance,itisaverytriflingmatter.Themanof

bloodhadalmostrunthroughhisestate,butthelittlefellow

withthepenbehindhisearwasbutjustcomingintoplay.Hehad

neverbeenfleecedbefore,itisapityheshouldhaveescapedso

easily.

Suchwasthetenoroftheconversationbeforedinner,anditwas

notmuchmendedinitsmoralityattable.AsIshouldneverhave

donewiththerecitalofalltheirribaldryandnonsense,the

readerwillexcusetheomission,andpassontotheentranceofa

poordevil,ycleptanauthor,whocalledjustbeforethecloth

wastakenaway.

Ourlittlefootboycameandsaidtomymistressinanaudible

voice—Madam,amaninadirtyshirt,splasheduptohis

middle,withverymuchthelookofapoet,savingyourpresence,

wantstospeaktoyou.Lethimwalkup,answeredArsenia.Keep

yourseats,gentlemen,itisonlyanauthor.Tobesuresoit

was,onewhosetragedyhadbeenaccepted,andhewasbringingmy

mistressherpart.HisnamewasPedrodeMoya.Oncomingintothe

roomhemadefiveorsixlowbowstothecompany,whoneither

rosenortooktheleastnoticeofhim.Arseniajustreturnedhis

superabundantcivilitieswithaslightinclinationofthehead.

Hecameforwardwithtremorandembarrassment.Hedroppedhis

glovesandlethishatfall.Heventuredtopickthemupagain,

thenadvancedtowardsmymistress,andpresentingtoherapaper

withmoreceremonythanadefendantanaffidavittothejudgeof

thecourt—Madam,saidhe,havethegoodnesstoreceiveunder

yourprotectionthepartItakethelibertyofofferingyou.She

stretchedoutherhandforitwithcoldandcontemptuous

indifference;nordidshecondescendeventonoticethe

complimentbyalook.

Butourauthorwasnotdisheartened.Seizingthisopportunityto

distributethecast,hegaveonecharactertoRosimiroand

anothertoFlorimonde,whotreatedhimjustasgenteellyas

Arseniahaddone.Onthecontrary,thelowcomedian,avery

pleasantfellow,asthosegentlemenforthemostpartaffectto

be,insultedhimwiththemostcuttingsarcasms.PedrodeMoya

wasnotmadeofstone.Yethedarednottakeuptheaggressor,

lesthispieceshouldsufferforit.Hewithdrewwithoutsayinga

word,butstungtothequick,asitseemedtome,byhis

reception.Hecouldnotfail,inthetransportsofhisanger,

mentallytoapostrophizetheplayersastheydeserved:andthe

players,whenhewasgone,begantotalkofauthorsinreturn

withinfinitedeferenceandkindness.Itshouldseem,said

Florimonde,asifSignordeMoyadidnotgoawayverywell

pleased.

Well!madam,criedRosimiro,andwhyshouldyoutroubleyourself

aboutthat?Arewetostudythefeelingsofauthors?Ifwewere

toadmitthemuponequalterms,itwouldonlybethewaytospoil

them.Iknowthatcontemptiblesquad;Iknowthemofold:they

wouldsoonforgettheirdistance.Thereisnodealingwiththem

butasslaves;andasfortiringtheirpatience,neverfearthat.

Thoughtheymaytakethemselvesoffinapetsometimes,theitch

ofwritingbringsthembackagain;andtheyareraisedtothe

thirdheaven,ifwewillbutcondescendtosupporttheirpieces.

Youareright,saidArsenia;weneverloseanauthortillwehave

madehisfortune.Whenthatisdone,assoonaswehaveprovided

fortheungratefuldevils,theygettobeingoodcase,andthen

theyrunrestive.Luckilythemanagerdoesnotbreakhisheart

afterthem,andoneisjustasgoodasanothertothepublic.

Theseliberalandsagaciousremarksmetwiththeirfullshareof

approbation.Itwascarriedunanimouslythatauthors,though

treatedrathertooscurvilybehindthescenes,wereonthewhole

theobligedpersons.Thesefrettersofanhouruponthestage

rankedtheinhabitantofParnassusbelowthemselves;andmalice

couldnotdegradehimlower.

CH.XII.—GilBlasacquiresarelishforthetheatre,and

takesafullswingofitspleasures,butsoonbecomesdisgusted.

THEpartysatattabletillitwastimetogotothetheatre.I

wentafterthem,andsawtheplayagainthatevening.Itooksuch

delightinit,thatIwasforattendingeveryday.Inever

missed,andbydegreesgotaccustomedtotheactors.Suchisthe

forceofhabit.Iwasparticularlydelightedwiththosewhowere

mostartificialandunnatural;norwasIsingularinmytaste.

Thebeautiesofcompositionaffectedmemuchonthesame

principleastheexcellenceofrepresentation.Thereweresome

pieceswithwhichIwasenraptured.Iliked,amongothers,those

whichbroughtallthecardinalsorthetwelvepeersofFrance

uponthestage.Igotholdofstrikingpassagesinthese

incomparableperformances.IrecollectthatintwodaysIlearnt

byheartawholeplay,called,TheQueenofFlowers.TheRose,

whowasthequeen,hadtheVioletforhermaidofhonour,andthe

Jessaminforherprimeminister.Icouldconceivenothingmore

elegantorrefined:suchproductionsseemedtobethetriumphof

ourSpanishwitandinvention.

Iwasnotcontenttostoremymemoryanddisciplinemymindwith

thechoicestselectionsfromthesedramaticmasterpieces:butI

wasbentonpolishingmytastetothehighestperfection.To

securethisgrandobject,Ilistenedwithgreedyearstoevery

wordwhichfellfromthelipsoftheplayers.Iftheycommendeda

piece,Iwasravishedbyit:butsupposetheypronounceditbad?

why,thenImaintainedthatitwasinfernalstuff.Iconceived

thattheymustdeterminethemeritsofaplay,asajewellerthe

waterofadiamond.AndyetthetragedybyPedrodeMoyawas

eminentlysuccessful,thoughtheyhadpredicteditsentire

miscarriage.This,however,wasnodisparagementoftheir

criticalskillinmyestimation;andIhadratherbelievethe

audiencetobedivestedofcommonsense,thandoubtthe

infallibilityofthecompany.Buttheyassuredme,onallhands,

thattheirjudgmentswereusuallyconfirmedbytheruleof

contraries.Itseemedtobeamaximwiththem,tosettheirfaces

pointblankagainstthetasteofthepublic;andasaproofof

this,therewereathousandcasesinpointofunexpected

successesandfailures.Allthesetestimonieswerescarcely

sufficienttoundeceiveme.

Ishallneverforgetwhathappenedonedayatthefirst

representationofanewcomedy.Theperformershadpronouncedit

uninterestingandtedious;theyhadevenprophesiedthatitwould

notbeheardtotheend.Underthisimpression,theygotthrough

thefirstact,whichwasloudlyapplauded.Thiswasvery

astonishing!Theyplayedthesecondact;theaudiencelikedit

stillbetterthanthefirst.Theactorswereconfounded.Whatthe

devil,saidRosimiro,thiscomedysucceeds!Atlasttheywenton

inthethirdact,whichroseasathirdactoughttorise.Iam

quitethrownuponmyback,saidRicardo;wethoughtthispiece

wouldnotberelished;andalltheworldaremadafterit.

Gentlemen,saidoneoftheplayersarchly,itisbecausewe

happenedaccidentallytooverlookallthewit.

FromthistimeIheldmyopinionnolongeroftheplayersas

competentjudges,andbegantoappreciatetheirmeritmoretruly

thantheyhadestimatedthatoftheauthors.Allthelampoons

whichwerecurrentaboutthemwerefullyjustified.Theactors

andactressesranriotontheapplausesofthetown,andstoodso

highintheirownconceit,astothinkthattheyconferreda

favourbyappearingontheboards.Iwasshockedattheirpublic

misconduct;butunfortunatelyreconciledmyselftooeasilyto

theirprivatemanners,andplungedintodebauchery.HowcouldI

dootherwise?Everywordtheyutteredwaspoisonintheearsof

youth,andeveryscenethatwaspresented,analluringpictureof

corruption.HadIbeenastrangertowhatpassedwithCasilda,

withConstance,andwiththeotheractresses,Arsenia’shouse

alonewouldhavebeensufficientformyruin.Besidestheold

noblemenofwhomIhavespoken,therecamethitheryoung

debaucheesoffashion,whoforestalledtheirinheritancesbythe

disinterestedmediationofmoney-lenders:andsometimeswehad

officersundergovernment,whoweresofarfromreceivingfees,

asattheirpublicboards,thattheypaidmostexorbitantones

fortheprivilegeofmixingwithsuchworshipfulsociety.

Florimonde,wholivedatnextdoor,dinedandsuppedwithArsenia

everyday.Theirlongintimacysurprisedeveryone.Coquetswere

notthoughtusuallytomaintainsogoodanunderstandingwith

eachother.Itwasconcludedthattheywouldquarrel,sooneror

late;aboutsomeparamour;butsuchreasonerscouldnotseeinto

theheartsoftheseexemplaryfriends.Theywereunitedinthe

bondsofindissolublelove.Insteadofharbouringjealousy,like

otherwomen,theyhadeverythingincommon.Theyhadrather

dividetheplunderofmankind,thanchildishlyfallout,and

contendfortrumpery,asheartsandaffections.

Laura,aftertheexampleofthesetwoillustriouspartners,

turnedthefreshseasonofyouthtothebestadvantage.Shehad

toldmethatIshouldseestrangedoings.AndyetIdidnottake

upthejealouspart.Ihadpromisedtoadopttheprinciplesof

thecompanyonthatscore.ForsomedaysIkeptmythoughtsto

myself.Ionlyjusttookthelibertyofaskingherthenamesof

themenwhomshefavouredwithherprivateear.Shealwaystold

methattheywereunclesorcousins.Fromwhataprolificfamily

wasshesprung!KingPriamhadnoluckinpropagation,compared

withherancestors.Nordidthispreciousabigailconfineherself

toherunclesandcousins:shewentnowandthentolayatrap

forunwaryaliens,andpersonatethewidowofqualityunderthe

auspicesofthediscreetolddowagerabovementioned.Inshort

Laura,tohitoffhercharacterexactly,wasjustasyoung,just

aspretty,andjustaslooseashermistress,whohadnoother

advantageoverherthanthatoffiguringinamorepublic

capacity.

Iwasbornedownbythetorrentforthreeweeks,andranthe

careerofdissipationinmyturn.ButImustatthesametimesay

formyself,thatinthemidstofpleasureIfrequentlyfeltthe

stillsmallvoiceofconscience,arisingfromtheimpressionofa

seriouseducation,whichmixedgallintheCirceancup.Riot

couldnotaltogethergetthebetterofremorse:onthecontrary,

thepangsofthelastgrewkeenerwiththemoreshameful

indulgenceofthefirst;and,byahappyeffectofmy

temperament,thedisordersofatheatricallifebegantomakeme

shudder.Ah!wretch,saidItomyself,isitthusthatyoumake

goodthehopesofyourfamily?Isitnotenoughtohavethwarted

theirpiousintentions,bynotfollowingyourdestinedcourseof

lifeasaninstructorofyouth?Needyourconditionofaservant

hinderyoufromlivingdecentlyandsoberly?Aresuchmonstersof

iniquityfitcompanionsforyou?Envy,hatred,andavariceare

predominanthere;intemperanceandidlenesshavepurchasedthe

fee-simplethere:theprideofsomeisaggravatedintothemost

barefacedimpudence,andmodestyisturnedoutofdoors,bythe

commonconsentofall.Thebusinessissettled:Iwillnotlive

anylongerwiththesevendeadlysins.

BOOKTHEFOURTH.

CH.I.—GilBlasnotbeingabletoreconcilehimselftothe

moralsoftheactresses,quitsArsenia,andgetsintoamore

reputableservice.

ASURVIVINGsparkofhonourandofreligion,inthemidstofso

generaldepravity,mademeresolvenotonlytoleaveArsenia,but

eventoabjureallcommercewithLaura,whomyetIcouldnot

ceasetolove,thoughIwaswellawareofherdailyinconstancy.

Happythemanwhocanthusprofitbythoseappeals,which

occasionallyinterrupttheheadlongcourseofhispleasures!One

finemorning,Imadeupmybundle;and,withoutreckoningwith

Arsenia,whoindeedowedmenexttonothing,withouttakingleave

ofmydearLaura,Iburstfromthatmansion,whichsmeltof

brimstoneandfirereservedforthewicked.Ihadnosoonertaken

sovirtuousastep,thanprovidenceinterferedinmybehalf.I

metthestewardofmylatemaster,DonMatthias,andgreetedhim:

heknewmeagainatonce,andstoppedtoinquirewhereIlived.I

answeredthatIhadjustleftmyplace;thatafterstayingneara

monthwithArsenia,whosemannersdidnotatallsuitme,Iwas

comeawaybyasuddenimpulseofvirtue,tosavemyinnocence.

Thesteward,justasifhehadbeenhimselfofareligiouscast,

commendedmyscruples,andofferedmeaplacemuchtomy

advantage,sinceIwassochasteandhonestayouth.Hekepthis

word,andintroducedmeonthatverydayintothefamilyofDon

VincentdeGusman,withwhoseagenthewasacquainted.

Icouldnothavegotintoabetterservice;nordidIrepentin

thesequelofhavingacceptedthesituation.DonVincentwasa

veryricholdnobleman,whohadlivedmanyyearsunincumbered

withlawsuitsorwithawife.Thephysicianshadremovedthelast

plagueoutoftheway,intheirattemptstoridherofacough,

whichmighthavelastedagreatwhilelonger,iftheremedieshad

notbeenmorefatalthanthedisease.Farfromthinkingofthe

holystateasecondtime,hegavehimselfupentirelytothe

educationofhisonlydaughterAurora,whowasthenenteringher

twenty-sixthyear,andmightpassforanaccomplishedperson.

Withbeautyabovethecommon,shehadanexcellentandhighly

cultivatedunderstanding.Herfatherwasapoorcreatureasto

intellect;buthepossessedthehappytalentoflookingwell

afterhisaffairs.Onefaulthehad,ofakindexcusableinold

men:hewasanincessanttalker,especiallyaboutwarand

fighting.Ifthatstringwasunfortunatelytouchedinhis

presence,inamomentheblewhisheroictrumpet,andhishearers

mightthinkthemselvesluckyiftheycompoundedforagazette

extraordinaryoftwosiegesandthreebattles.Ashehadspent

two-thirdsofhislifeintheservice,hismemorywasan

inexhaustibledepotofvariousfacts;butthepatienceofthe

listenersdidnotalwayskeeppacewiththeperseveranceofthe

relater.Thestories,sufficientlyprolixinthemselves,were

stillfurtherspunoutbystuttering;sothatthemannerwas

stilllesshappythanthematter.Inallotherrespects,Inever

metwithanoblemanofamoreamiablecharacter:histemperwas

even;hewasneitherobstinatenorcapricious;thegeneral

alternativeofmeninthehigherranksoflife.Thoughagood

economist,helivedlikeagentleman.Hisestablishmentwas

composedofseveralmenservants,andthreewomeninwaitingon

Aurora.IsoondiscoveredthatthestewardofDonMatthiashad

procuredmeagoodpost,andmyonlyanxietywastoestablish

myselffirmlyinit.Itookallpossiblepainstofeeltheground

undermyfeet,andtostudythecharactersofthewhole

household:thenregulatingmyconductbymydiscoveries,Iwas

notlonginingratiatingmyselfwithmymasterandallthe

servants.

IhadbeenwithDonVincentaboveamonth,whenitstruckmethat

hisdaughterwasveryparticularinhernoticeofmeaboveall

theservantsinthefamily.Wheneverhereyeshappened

accidentallytomeetmine,theyseemedtobesuffusedwitha

certainpartialcomplacency,whichdidnotenterintohersilent

communicationswiththevulgar.Haditnotbeenformyhaunts

amongthecoxcombsofthetheatricaltribeandtheirhangers-on,

itwouldneverhaveenteredintomyheadthatAurorashouldthrow

awayathoughtonme:butmybrainhadbeenalittleturnedamong

thosegentry,fromwhoselibertinesuspicionsladiesofthe

noblestbirtharenotalwaysheldsacred.If,saidI,those

chroniclesoftheagearetobebelieved,fancyandhighblood

leadwomenofqualityadance,inwhichtheysometimesjoinhands

withunequalpartners:howdoIknowbutmyyoungmistressmay

capertoatuneofmypiping?Butno:itcannotbeso,neither.

ThisisnotoneofyourMessalinas,who,derogatingfromthe

loftinessofancestry,unworthilyletdowntheirregardstothe

dust,andsullytheirpurehonourwithoutablush:butratherone

ofthosevirtuouslyapprehensive,yettender-heartedgirls,who

encircletheirsoftnesswithintheinsurmountablepaleof

delicacy;yetthinkitnotamperingwithchastity,toinspireand

cherishasentimentalflame,interestingtotheheartwithout

beingdangeroustothemorals.

Suchweremyideasofmymistress,withoutknowingexactly

whethertheywererightorwrong.Andyetwhenwemet,shewas

continuallycaughtwithasmileofsatisfactiononher

countenance.Withoutpassingforafop,amanmightgiveinto

suchflatteringappearances;andaphilosophicalapathywasnot

tobeexpectedfromme.IconceivedAuroratohavebeendeeply

smittenwithmyirresistibleattractions;andlookedonmyself

henceforthinthelightofafavouredattendant,whoseservitude

wastobesweetenedbythebalmyinfusionoflove.Toappearin

somemeasurelessunworthyoftheblessings,whichpropitious

fortunehadkeptinstoreforme,Ibegantotakebettercareof

mypersonthanIhaddoneheretofore.Ilaidoutmyslenderstock

ofmoneyinlinen,pomatums,andessences.Thefirstthinginthe

morningwastoprankupandperfumemyself,soasnottobeinan

undressincaseofbeingsentforintothepresenceofmy

mistress.Withtheseattentionstopersonaleleganceandother

dexterousstrokesintheartofpleasing,Iflatteredmyselfthat

themomentofmyblisswasnotverydistant.

AmongAurora’swomentherewasonewhowentbythenameofOrtiz.

Thiswasanolddowager,whohadbeenafixtureinDonVincent’s

familyformorethantwentyyears.Shehadbeenabouthis

daughterfromherchildhood,andstillheldtheofficeofduenna;

butshenolongerperformedtheinvidiouspartoftheduty.On

thecontrary,insteadofblazoning,asformerly,Aurora’slittle

indiscretions,herskillwasnowemployedinthrowingtheminto

shade.Oneevening,DameOrtiz,havingwatchedheropportunityof

speakingtomewith.outobservation,saidinalowvoice,that

ifIwascloseandtrustworthy,Ihadonlytobeinthegardenat

midnight,whenascenewouldbelaidopeninwhichIshouldnot

besorrytobeanactor.Iansweredtheduenna,pressingherhand

significantly,thatIwouldnotfail,andwepartedinahurry

forfearofasurprise.Howthehourslaggedfromthismoment

tillsupper-time,thoughwesuppedveryearly!Thenagain,from

suppertomymaster’sbed-time!Itshouldseemasifthemarchof

thewholefamilywastimedtoalargomovement.Bywayofhelping

forwardthefidgets,whenDonVincentwithdrewtohischamber,

thearmywasputonthewarestablishment,andwewereobligedto

fightthecampaignsinPortugaloveragain,thoughmyearshad

notrecoveredfromthedinofthelastcannonade.Butafavour,

fromwhichIhadhithertomademyescape,wasreservedforthis

eventfulevening.Herepeatedthearmylistfrombeginningto

end,withcopiousdigressionsontheexploitsofthoseofficers

whohaddistinguishedthemselvesinhistime.Ohmypoor

tympanum!Itwasalmostcrackedbeforewegottotheend.Time,

however,willwearoutevenanoldman’sstory,andhewentto

bed.Iimmediatelywenttomyownlittlechamber,whencethere

wasawayintothegardenbyaprivatestaircase.Idependedon

mypurchaseofperfumeryforovercomingtheeffluviaoftheday’s

drudgery,andputonacleanshirthighlyscented.Whenevery

inventionhadbeenpressedintotheservicetorendermyperson

worthyofitsdestiny,andcherishthefondnessofmymistress,I

wenttotheappointment.

Ortizwasnotthere.Iconcludedthat,tiredofwaitingforme,

shehadgonebacktoherchamber,andthatthehappymomentof

philanderingwasover.IlaidalltheblameonDonVincent;but

justasIwassingingTeDeumbackwardsforhiscampaigns,I

heardtheclockstriketen.Tobesureitmustbewrong!Itcould

notbelessthanoneo’clock.YetIwassoegregiouslyoutinmy

reckoning,thatfullaquarterofanhourafterwards,Icounted

tenuponmyfingersbytheclockatnextdoor.Vastlywell,

thoughtItomyself;Ihaveonlytwocompletehourstoventilate

mypassionherealfresco.Atleasttheyshallnotcomplainofme

forwantofpunctuality.WhatshallIdowithmyselftilltwelve?

Supposewetakeaturnaboutthisgardenandsettleourcuesin

thedeliciousdramajustgoingtobebroughtonthestage;itis

myfirstappearanceinsoprincipalacharacter.Iamnotyet

sufficientlywellreadinthecrotchetsofyourqualitydames.I

knowhowtotickleagirlinastuffgown,oranactress:You

swaggeruptothemwithaneasy,impudentassurance,andpopthe

questionwithoutmakinganybonesofit.Butonemusttakea

femaleofconditiononaverydifferenttack.Itseemstome,

thatinthiscasethehappyswainmustbewellbred,attentive,

tender,respectful,withoutdegeneratingintobashfulness.

Insteadoftakinghishappinessbystorm,hemustplanthis

amorousdesiresinambuscade,andwaittillthegarrisonis

asleep,andtheoutworksdefenceless.

ThusitwasthatIargued,andsuchwerethepreconcertedplans

ofmycampaignwithAurora.Afterafewtediousminutes,

accordingtomycalculation,Iwastoexperiencetheecstasyof

findingmyselfatthefeetofthatlovelycreature,andpouring

forthatorrentofimpassionednonsense.Iscrapedtogetherinmy

memoryalltheclap-trapsinourstock-plays,whichweremost

successfulwiththeaudience,andmightbestsetoffmy

pretensionstospiritandgallantry.Itrustedtomyown

adroitnessfortheapplication,andhoped,aftertheexampleof

someplayersinthelistofmyacquaintance,bringingonlya

stockofmemoryintothetrade,todealuponcreditformywit.

Whilemyimaginationwasengrossedbythesethoughts,whichkept

myimpatienceatbaymuchmoresuccessfullythanthecommentaries

ofmymodernCaesar,Iheardtheclockstrike.eleven.Thiswas

someencouragement,andIfellbacktomymeditations,sometimes

saunteringcarelesslyabout,andsometimesthrowingmyselfatmy

lengthontheturf,inaboweratthebottomofthegarden.At

lengthitstrucktwelve,thelong-expectedhour,bigwithmyhigh

destiny.Somesecondsafter,Ortiz,aspunctualasmyselfthough

lessimpatient,madeherappearance.SignorGilBlas,saidshe,

accostingme,howlonghaveyoubeenhere?Twohours,answeredI.

Indeed!Truly,repliedshe,laughing,youareveryexact;there

isapleasureinmakingnocturnalassignationswithyou.

Yetyoumayassureyourself;continuedshemoregravely,thatyou

cannotpaytoodearforsuchgoodfortuneasthatofwhichIam

themessenger.Mymistresswantstohavesomeprivatetalkwith

you.Ishallnotanticipatewhatmaybethesubject,thatisa

secretwhichyoumustlearnfromnolipsbutherown.Followme;

Iwillshowyouintoherchamber.Withthesewordstheduenna

tookmebythehand,andledmemysteriouslyintoherlady’s

apartmentthroughalittledoor,ofwhichshehadthekey.

CH.II.—Aurora’sreceptionofGilBlas.Theirconversation.

IFOUNDAurorainanundress.Isalutedherinthemost

respectfulmanner,andthrewasmucheleganceintomyattitudeas

Ihadtothrow.Shereceivedmewiththemostwinningaffability,

mademesitdownbyheragainstallmyremonstrances,andtold

herambassadresstogointoanotherroom.Afterthisopening,

whichseemedhighlyencouragingtomycause,sheentereduponthe

business.GilBlas,saidshe,youmusthaveperceivedhow

favourablyIhaveregardedanddistinguishedyoufromallthe

restofmyfather’sservants;andthoughmylookshadnot

betrayedmypartialdispositionstowardsyou,myproceedingof

thisnightwouldleaveyounoroomtodoubtthem.

Ididnotgivehertimetosayawordmore.Itstruckme,thatas

amanoffeeling,Ioughttosparehertremblingdiffidencethe

cruelnecessityofexplaininghersentimentsinmoredirect

terms.Irosefrommychairinatransport,and,throwingmyself

atAurora’sfeet,likeatragedyherooftheGrecianstagewhen

hesupplicatestheheroine“byherknees,”exclaimedina

declamatorytone—Ah!Madam,coulditbepossiblethatGil

Blas,hithertothewhirligigoffortuneandfootballofembattled

nature,shouldhavecalleddownuponhisheadtheexquisite

felicityofinspiringsentimentsDonotspeaksoloud,

interruptedmymistresswithalaughofmingledapprehensionand

ridicule,youwillwakemywomenwhosleepintheadjoining

chamber.Getup,takeyourseat,andhearmeoutwithoutputting

inaword.Yes,GilBlas,pursuedshe,resuminghergravity,you

havemybestwishes;andtoshewyouhowdeepyouareinmygood

graces,Iwillconfidetoyouasecretonwhichdependsthe

reposeofmylife.Iaminlovewithayounggentleman,

possessingeverycharmofpersonandface,andnoblebybirth.

HisnameisDonLewisPacheco.Ihaveseenhimoccasionallyin

thepublicwalksandatthetheatre,butIhaveneverconversed

withhim.Idonotevenknowwhathisprivatecharactermaybe,

orwhatbadqualitieshemayhave.ItisonthissubjectthatI

wishtobeinformed.Istandinneedofapersontoinquire

diligentlyintohismorals,andgivemeatrueandparticular

account.Imakechoiceofyou.SurelyIrunnoriskinentrusting

youwiththiscommission.Ihopethatyouwillacquityourself

withdexterityandprudence,andthatIshallneverrepentof

givingyoumyconfidence.

Mymistressconcludedthus,andwaitedformyanswertoher

proposal.Ihadbeendisconcertedinthefirstinstanceatso

disagreeableamistake;butIsoonrecoveredmyscatteredsenses,

andsurmountingtheconfusionwhichrashnessalwaysoccasions

whenitisunlucky,Iexposedtosalesuchacargoofzeal.For

thelady’sinterests,Idevotedmyselfwithsomartyr-likean

enthusiasmtoherservice,thatifshedidnotabsolutelyforget

mysillyvanityinthethoughtofhavingpleasedher,atleast

shehadreasontobelievethatIknewhowtomakeamendsfora

pieceoffolly.Iaskedonlytwodaystobringherasatisfactory

accountofDonLewis.AfterwhichDameOrtiz,answeringthebell,

shewedmethewaybackintothegarden,andsaid,ontaking

leave,Good-night,GilBlas.Ineednotcautionyoutobeintime

atthenextappointment.Ihavesufficientexperienceofyour

punctualityontheseoccasions.

Ireturnedtomychamber,notwithoutsomelittlemortification

atfindingmyvoluptuousanticipationsalldivestedofeventheir

idealsweetness.Iwasneverthelesssufficientlyinmysensesto

reflectsoberlythatitwasmoreinmyelementtobethetrusty

scoutofmymistressthanherlover.Ieventhoughtthatthis

adventuremightleadtosomethingfurther;thatthemiddlemenin

thetradeofloveusuallypocketatolerablepercentage;andwent

tobedwiththeresolutionofdoingwhateverAurorarequiredof

me.ForthispurposeIwentabroadthenextmorning.The

residenceofsodistinguishedapersonageasDonLewiswasnot

difficulttofindout.Imademyenquiriesabouthiminthe

neighbourhood,butthepeoplewhocameinmywaycouldnot

satisfymycuriositytothefull,sothatitwasnecessaryto

resumemysearchdiligentlyonthefollowingday.Iwasinbetter

luck.Imetaladofmyacquaintancebychanceinthestreet,we

stoppedforalittlegossip.Therepassedbyintheverynickone

ofhisfriends,whocameupandtoldhimthathewasjustturned

awayfromthefamilyofDonJosephPacheco,DonLewis’sfather,

aboutapaltryremnantofwine,whichhehadbeenaccusedof

drinking.IwouldnotlosesofairanoccasionoflearningallI

wantedtoknow,andpliedmyquestionssosuccessfullyastogo

homewithmuchself-complacency,atmypunctualperformanceofmy

engagementswithmymistress.ItwasonthecomingnightthatI

wastoseeheragainatthesamehourandinthesamemanneras

thefirsttime.Iwasnotinsuchaconfoundedhurrythis

evening.Farfromwrithingwithimpatienceundertheprolixityof

myoldcommander,Iledhimontothecharge.Iwaitedfor

midnightwiththegreatestindifferenceintheworld,anditwas

nottillalltheclockswithinear-shothadstruckthatIcrept

downintothegarden,withoutanynonsenseofpomatumand

perfumery.Thatfopperywascompletelycured.

AttheplaceofmeetingIfoundtheveryfaithfulduenna,who

sneeringlyreproachedmewithadefalcationinmyzeal.Imade

hernoanswer,butsufferedmyselftobeconductedintoAurora’s

chamber.Sheaskedme,assoonasImademyappearance,whetherI

hadgainedanyintelligenceofDonLewis.Yes,madam,saidI,and

youshallhavethesumtotalintwowords.Imustfirsttellyou,

thathewillsoonsetoutforSalamanca,tofinishhisstudies.

Theyounggentlemanisbrimfullofhonourandprobity.Asfor

valour,hecannotbedeficientthere,sinceheisamanofbirth

andaCastilian.Besidesthis,hehasaninfinitedealofwit,

andisveryagreeableinhismanners;butthereisonething

whichcanscarcelybetoyourliking.Heisprettymuchinthe

fashionofouryoungnobilityhereatcourt—exemplarily

catholicinhisdevotionstothefair.Haveyounotheardthatat

hisagehehasalreadybeentenantatwilltotwoactresses?What

isityoutellme?repliedAurora.Whatshockingconduct!Butdo

youknowforcertain,GilBlas,thatheleadssodissolutea

life?Oh!thereisnodoubtofit,madam,rejoinedI.Aservant,

turnedoffthismorning,toldmeso,andservantsareveryplain

dealerswhenthefailingsoftheirmastersarethetopic.

Besides,hekeepscompanywithDonAlexoSegiar,DonAntonio

Centell�s,andDonFernandodeGamboa;thatsinglecircumstance

proveshislibertinismwithalltheforceofdemonstration.Itis

enough,GilBlas,saidmymistresswithasigh;onyourreportI

amdeterminedtostrugglewithmyunworthypassion.Thoughithas

alreadystruckdeeprootinmyheart,Idonotdespairoftearing

itforciblyfromitsbed.Go,addedshe,puttingintomyhandsa

smallpurse,noneofthelightest,takethisforyourpains.

Bewareofbetrayingmysecret.Consideritasentrustedtoyour

silence.

Iassuredmymistressthatshemightbeperfectlyeasyonthat

score,forIwastheHarpocratesofconfidentialservants.After

thiscomplimenttomyself,Iwithdrewwithnosmalleagernessto

investigatethecontentsofthepurse.Thereweretwenty

pistoles.ItstruckmeallatoncethatAurorawouldsurelyhave

givenmemorehadIbeenthebearerofpleasanttidings,since

shepaidsohandsomelyforablankinthelottery.Iwassorry

nottohaveadoptedthepolicyofthepleadersinthecourts,who

sometimespaintthecheekoftruthwhenhernaturalcomplexionis

inclinedtobecadaverous.Itwasapitytohavestifledanamour

inthebirthwhichmightinitsgrowthhavebeensoprofitable.

YetIhadthecomfortoffindingmyselfreimbursedtheexpenseso

unseasonablyincurredinperfumeryandwashes.

CH.III.—AgreatchangeatDonVincent’s.Aurora’sstrange

resolution.

IThappenedsoonafterthisadventurethatSignorDonVincent

fellsick.Independentofhisveryadvancedage,thesymptomsof

hisdisorderappearedinsoformidableashapethatafatal

terminationwasbuttooprobable.Fromthebeginningofhis

illnesshewasattendedbytwoofthemosteminentphysiciansin

Madrid.OnewasDoctorAndros,andtheotherDoctorOquetos.They

consideredthecasewithduesolemnity;andbothagreed,aftera

strictinvestigation,thatthehumourswereinastateofmutiny,

butthiswastheonlythingaboutwhichtheydidagree.The

properpractice,saidAndros,istopurgethehumours,though

raw,withallpossibleexpedition,whiletheyareinaviolent

agitationoffluxandreflux,forfearoftheirfixinguponsome

noblepart.Oquetosmaintained,onthecontrary,thatwemust

waittillthehumourswereripenedbeforeitwouldbesafetogo

uponpurgatives.Butyourmethod,repliedthefirstspeaker,is

directlyintheteethoftheruleslaiddownbytheprinceof

medicine.Hippocratesrecommendspurginginthemostburning

feverfromtheveryfirstattack,andsaysinplaintermsthatno

timeistobelostinpurgingwhenthehumoursarein???as�??

{orgasmos},thatistosay,inastateoffermentation.Ay!there

isyourmistake,repliedOquetos.Hippocratesbytheword

???as�??{orgasmos}doesnotmeanthefermentation,hemeans

rathertheconcoctionofthehumours.

Thereuponourdoctorsgotheated.OnequotestheGreektext,and

citesalltheauthorswhohaveexplaineditinhissense;the

other,trustingtoaLatintranslation,takesupthecontroversy

inastillmorepositivetone.Whichofthetwotobelieve?Don

Vincentwasnotthemantodecidethatquestion.Inthemean

time,findinghimselfobligedtochoose,hegavehisconfidence

tothepartywhohaddispatchedthegreatestnumberofpatients-

-Imeantheelderofthetwo.Andros,theyounger,immediately

withdrew,notwithoutflingingoutafewsatiricaltauntsathis

senioronthe???as�??{orgasmos}.HerethenwasOquetos

triumphant.AshewasaprofessoroftheSangradoschool,he

beganbybleedingcopiously,waitingtillthehumourswere

ripenedbeforehewentuponpurgatives.Butdeath,fearing,no

doubt,lestthisreserveofpurgativesshouldturnthefortunes

oftheday,gotthestartoftheconcoction,andsecuredhis

victoryovermymasterbyacoup-de-main.Suchwasthefinal

closeofSignorDonVincent,whohadlosthislifebecausehis

physiciandidnotknowGreek.

Aurorahavingburiedherfatherwithapompsuitedtothedignity

ofhisbirth,administeredtohiseffects.Havingthewhole

arrangementofeverythinginherownbreast,shedischargedsome

oftheservantswithrewardsproportionedtotheirservices,and

soonretiredtohercastleontheTagus,betweenSacedonand

Buendia.Iwasamongthenumberofthosewhomshekept,andwho

madepartofhercountryestablishment.Ihadeventhegood

fortunetobecomeaprincipalagentintheplot.Inspiteofmy

faithfulreportonthesubjectofDonLewis,shestillharboured

apartialityforthatbewitchingyoungfellow;orrather,for

wantofspirittocombatherpassioninthefirstinstance,she

surrenderedatdiscretion.Therewasnolongeranyneedoftaking

precautionstospeakwithmeinprivate.GilBlas,saidshewith

asigh,IcanneverforgetDonLewis.LetmemakewhateffortI

willtobanishhimfrommythoughts,heispresenttothem

withoutintermission,notasyouhavedescribedhim,plungedin

everyvarietyoflicentiousriot,butjustwhatmyfancywould

painthim—tender,loving,constant.Shebetrayedconsiderable

emotioninutteringthesewords,andcouldnothelpshedding

tears.Myfountainswereverynearplayingfrommeresympathy.

Therewasnobetterwayofpayingmycourtthanbyappearing

sensiblytouchedatherdistress.Myfriend,continuedshe,after

havingwipedherlovelyeyes,yournatureisevidentlycastina

benevolentmould;andIamsowellsatisfiedwithyourzealthat

itshallnotgounrewarded.Yourassistance,mydearGilBlas,is

morenecessarytomethanever.Youmustbemadeacquaintedwith

aplanwhichengrossesallmythoughts,thoughitwillappear

strangelyeccentric.YouaretoknowthatImeantosetoutfor

Salamancaassoonaspossible.Theremydesignistoassumethe

disguiseofafashionableyoungfellow,andtomakeacquaintance

withPachecounderthenameofDonFelix.Ishallendeavourto

gainhisconfidenceandfriendship,andleadtheconversation

incidentallytothesubjectofAuroradeGuzman,forwhosecousin

Ishallpass.Hemayperhapsexpressawishtoseeher,andthere

isthepointonwhichIexpecttheinteresttoturn.Wewillhave

twoapartmentsinSalamanca.InoneIshallbeDonFelix,inthe

other,Aurora;andIflattermyselfthatbypresentingmyperson

beforeDonLewis,sometimesunderthesemblanceofaman,

sometimesinallthenaturalandartificialattractionsofmyown

sex,Imaybringhimbylittleandlittletotheproposedendof

mystratagem.Iamperfectlyawarethatmyprojectisextravagant

inthehighestdegree,butmypassiondrivesmeheadlong;andthe

innocenceofmyintentionsrendersmeinsensibletoall

compunctiousfeelingsofvirginapprehensionrespectingso

hazardousastep.

IwasexactlyinthesamemindwithAurorarespectingthe

extravaganceofherscheme.Yet,unseasonableasitmightseemto

reflectingpersonslikemyself,therewasnooccasionformeto

playtheschoolmaster.Onthecontrary,Ibegantopractiseall

theartsofathorough-bredspecialpleader,andundertookto

magnifythishair-brainedpursuitintoapieceofincomparable

witandspirit,withouttheleasttinctureofimprudence.This

washighlygratifyingtomymistress.Loversliketohavetheir

rampantfanciestickled.Wenolongerconsideredthisrash

enterpriseinanyotherlightthanasaplay,ofwhichthe

charactersweretobeproperlycast,andthebusiness

dramaticallyarranged.Theactorswerechosenoutofourown

domesticestablishment,andthepartsdistributedwithoutsecret

jealousyoropenrupture,butthenwewerenotplayersby

profession.ItwasdeterminedthatDameOrtizshouldpersonate

Aurora’saunt,underthenameofDonnaKimenadeGuzman,witha

valetandwaiting-maidbywayofattendance;andthatAurora,

withtheswashingoutsideofagayspark,wastotakemeforher

valet-de-chambre,withoneofherwomendisguisedasapage,to

bemoreimmediatelyaboutherperson.Thedramathusfilledupwe

returnedtoMadrid,whereweunderstoodDonLewisstilltobe,

thoughitwasnotlikelytobelongtillhisdeparturefor

Salamanca.Wegotupwithallpossiblehastethedressesand

decorationsofourwildcomedy.Whentheywereincompleteorder,

mymistresshadthempackedupcarefully,thattheymightcome

outinalltheirglossandnewnessontherisingofthecurtain.

Then,leavingthecareofherfamilytohersteward,shebegan

herjourneyinacoachdrawnbyfourmules,andtravelledtowards

thekingdomofLeon,withthoseofherhouseholdwhohadsome

parttoplayinthepiece.

WehadalreadycrossedOldCastile,whentheaxle-treeofthe

coachgaveway.TheaccidenthappenedbetweenAvilaand

Villaflor,atthedistanceofthreeorfourhundredyardsfroma

castlenearthefootofamountain.Nightwascomingon,andthe

measureofourtroublesseemedtobeheapedupandoverflowing.

Buttherepassedaccidentallybyusacountryman,bywhose

assistancewewererelievedfromourdifficulties.Heacquainted

usthatthecastleyonderbelongedtoDonnaElvira,widowofDon

PedrodePenar�s;atthesametimegivingussofavourablea

characterofthatlady,thatmymistresssentmetothecastle

witharequestofanight’slodging.Elviradidnotdisgracethe

goodwordofthecountryman.Shereceivedmewithanairof

hospitality,andreturnedsuchananswertomycomplimentasI

wishedtocarryback.Weallwenttothecastle,whitherthe

mulesdraggedthecarriagewithconsiderabledifficulty.Atthe

gatewemetthewidowofDonPedro,whocameouttomeetmy

mistress.Ishallpassoverinsilencethereciprocalcivilities

whichwereexchangedonthisoccasion,incompliancewiththe

usageofthepoliteworld.IshallonlysaythatElvirawasa

ladyratheradvancedinyears,butremarkablywellbred,withan

addresssuperiortothatofmostwomenindoingthehonoursof

herhouse.SheledAuroraintoasumptuousapartment,where,

leavinghertorestherselfforashorttime,shelookedafter

everythingherself,andleftnothingundonewhichcouldinthe

leastcontributetoourcomfort.Afterwards,whensupperwas

ready,sheorderedittobeservedupinAurora’schamber,where

theysatdowntotabletogether.DonPedro’swidowwasnotofa

descriptiontocastasluronherownhospitalities,byassuming

anairofabstractionorsullenness.Hertemperwasgay,andher

conversationlivelywithoutlevity;forherideasweredignified,

andherexpressionsselect.Nothingcouldexceedherwit,

accompaniedbyapeculiarlyfineturnofthought.Auroraappeared

asmuchtobedelightedasmyself.Theybecameswornfriends,and

mutuallyengagedinaregularcorrespondence.Asourcarriage

couldnotberepairedtillthefollowingday,andweshouldhave

encounteredsomeperilsbysettingoutlateatnight,itwas

determinedthatweshouldtakeupourabodeatthecastletill

thedamagewasmadegood.Allthearrangementswereinthefirst

styleofelegance,andourlodgingswerecorrespondenttothe

magnificenceoftheestablishmentinotherrespects.

Thedayafter,mymistressdiscoverednewcharmsinElvira’s

conversation.Theydinedinalargehall,wheretherewere

severalpictures.Oneamongtherestwasdistinguishedforits

admirableexecution,butthesubjectwashighlytragic.A

principalfigurewasamanofsuperiormien,lyinglifelesson

hisback,andbathedinhisownblood;yetintheveryembraces

ofdeathheworeamenacingaspect.Atalittledistancefromhim

youmightseeayoungladyinadifferentposture,though

stretchedlikewiseontheground.Shehadaswordplungedinher

bosom,andwasgivingupherlastsighs,atthesametimecasting

herdyingglancesatayoungmanwhoseemedtosufferamortal

pangatlosingher.Thepainterhadbesideschargedhispicture

withafigurewhichdidnotescapemynotice.Itwasanoldman

ofavenerablephysiognomy,sensiblytouchedwiththeobjects

whichstruckhissight,andequallyalivewiththeyoungmanto

theimpressionsofthemelancholyscene.Itmightbesaidthat

theseimagesofbloodanddesolationaffectedboththespectators

withthesameastonishmentandgrief,butthattheoutward

demonstrationsoftheirinwardsentimentsweredifferent.The

oldman,sunkinaprofoundmelancholy,lookedasifhewasbowed

downtotheground;whiletheyouthmingledsomethinglikethe

extravaganceofdespairwiththetearsofaffliction.Allthese

circumstancesweredepictedwithtouchessocharacteristicand

affecting,thatwecouldnottakeoureyesofftheperformance.

Mymistressdesiredtoknowthesubjectofthepiece.Madam,said

Elvira,itisafaithfuldelineationofthemisfortunessustained

bymyfamily.ThisanswerexcitedAurora’scuriosity;andshe

testifiedsostrongadesiretolearntheparticulars,thatthe

widowofDonPedrocoulddonootherwisethanpromiseherthe

satisfactionshedesired.Thispromise,madebeforeOrtiz,her

twofellow-servants,andmyself,rootedustothespotonwhich

wewerelisteningtotheirformerconversation.Mymistresswould

havesentusaway;butElvira,whosawplainlythatweweredying

witheagernesstobepresentattheexplanationofthepicture,

hadthegoodnesstodesireustostay,allegingatthesametime

thatthestoryshehadtorelatewasnotofanaturetoenjoin

secrecy.Afteramoment’srecollection,shebeganherrecitalto

thefollowingeffect:—

CH.IV.—TheFatalMarriage;aNovel.

ROGER,kingofSicily,hadabrotherandasister.Hisbrother,

bynameMainfroi,rebelledagainsthim,andkindledawarinthe

kingdom,bloodyinitsimmediateeffects,andportentousinits

futureconsequences.Butitwashisfatetolosetwobattles,and

tofallintotheking’shands.Thepunishmentofhisrevolt

extendednofurtherthanthelossofliberty.Thisactof

clemencyservedonlytomakeRogerpassforabarbarianinthe

estimationofthedisaffectedpartyamonghissubjects.They

contendedthathehadsavedhisbrother’slifeonlytowreakhis

vengeanceonhimbytorturesthemoremercilessbecause

protracted.Peopleingeneral,onbettergrounds,transferredthe

blameofMainfroi’sharshtreatmentwhileinprisontohissister

Matilda.Thatprincesshad,infact,cherishedalong-rooted

hatredagainstthisprince,andwasindefatigableinher

persecutionsduringhiswholelife.Shediedinaveryshorttime

afterhim,andherprematurefatewasconsideredasthe

retributionofajustprovidenceforherdisregardofthose

sentimentsimplantedbynatureforthebestpurposes.

Mainfroileftbehindhimtwosons.Theywereyetintheir

childhood.Rogerhadakindoflurkingdesiretogetridofthem,

undertheapprehensionlest,whenarrivedatamoreadvancedage,

thewishofavengingtheirfathermighthurrythemtotherevival

ofafactionwhichwasnotsoentirelyoverthrownastobe

incapableoforiginatingnewintriguesinthestate.He

communicatedhispurposetothesenatorLeontioSiffredi,his

minister,whodivertedhimfromhisbloodythoughtsby

undertakingtheeducationofPrinceEnriquez,theeldest,and

recommendingthecareoftheyounger,bynameDonPedro,tothe

constableofSicily,asatrustycounsellorandloyalservant.

Roger,assuredthathisnephewswouldbetrainedupbythesetwo

meninprinciplesofduesubmissiontotheroyalauthority,gave

upthereinsofguardianshiptotheircontrol,andhimselftook

chargeofhisnieceConstance.Shewasofthesameagewith

Enriquez,andonlydaughteroftheprincessMatilda.Heallowed

heranestablishmentoffemaleattendants,andofmastersin

everybranchofthepoliterstudies,sothatnothingwaswanting

eithertoherinstructionorherstate.

LeontioSiffredihadacastleatthedistanceoflessthantwo

leaguesfromPalermo,inaspotnamedBelmonte.Thereitwasthat

thisministerexertedallhistalentsanddiligence,torender

EnriquezworthyofonedayascendingthethroneofSicily.From

thefirst,hediscovereddispositionssoamiableinthatprince,

thathisattachmentbecameasstrongasifhehadnochildofhis

own.Hehad,however,twodaughters—Blanche,thefirst-born,

oneyearyoungerthantheprince,wasarmedatallpointswith

theweaponsofamostperfectbeauty.HersisterPortiawasstill

inhercradle.Themotherhaddiedinchild-bedofthisyoungest.

BlancheandPrinceEnriquezconceivedareciprocalaffectionas

soonastheywerealivetotheinfluenceoflove:buttheywere

notallowedtoimprovetheiracquaintanceintofamiliar

intercourse.Theprinceneverthelessfoundthemeansof

occasionallyeludingtheprudentialvigilanceofhisguardian.He

knewsufficientlywellhowtoavailhimselfofthoseprecious

moments,andprevailedsofarwithSiffredi’sdaughter,asto

gainherconsenttotheexecutionofaprojectwhichhe

meditated.IthappenedpreciselyatthistimethatLeontiowas

obligedbytheking’sordertotakeajourneyintooneofthe

mostremoteprovincesintheisland.DuringhisabsenceEnriquez

gotanopeningmadeinthewallofhisapartment,whichledinto

Blanche’schamber.Thisopeningwasconcealedbyasliding

shutter,soexactlycorrespondingwiththewainscot,andso

closelyfittinginwiththeceilingandthefloor,thatthemost

suspiciouseyecouldnothavedetectedthecontrivance.Askilful

workman,whomtheprincehadgainedovertohisinterests,helped

himtothisprivatecommunicationwithequalspeedandsecrecy.

TheenamouredEnriquezhavingobtainedthisinletintohis

mistress’schamber,sometimesavailedhimselfofhisprivilege;

buthenevertookadvantageofherpartiality.Imprudentasit

maywellbethought,toadmitofasecretentranceintoher

apartment,itwasonlyontheexpressandreiteratedassurance

thatnonebutthemostinnocentfavoursshouldberequestedat

herhands.Onenighthefoundherinastateofunusual

perturbation.ShehadbeeninformedthatRogerwasdrawingnear

hisend,andhadsentforSiffrediaslordhighchancellorofthe

kingdom,andthelegaldepositoryofhislastwillandtestament.

AlreadydidshefiguretoherselfherdearEnriquezelevatedto

royalhonours.Shewasafraidoflosingherloverinher

sovereign,andthatfearhadstrangelyaffectedherspirits.The

tearswerestandinginhereyes,whentheunconsciouscauseof

themappearedbeforeher.Youweep,madam,saidhe,whatamIto

thinkofthisoverwhelminggrief?Mylord,answeredBlanche,it

werevainformetohidemyapprehensions.Thekingyouruncleis

atthepointofdeath,andyouwillsoonbecalledtosupplyhis

place.WhenImeasurethedistanceplacedbetweenusbyyour

approachinggreatness,Iwillowntoyouthatmymindmisgives

me.Themonarchandtheloverestimateobjectsthroughafar

differentmedium.Whatconstitutedthefondestwishofthe

individual,whilehisaspiringthoughtswerecheckedbythe

controlofasuperior,fadesintoinsignificancebeforethe

tumultuouscaresorbrilliantdestiniesofroyalty.Beitthe

misgivingofananxiousheart,orthewhisperofawell-founded

opinion,Ifeeldistractingemotionssucceedoneanotherinmy

breast,whichnotallmyjustconfidenceinyourgoodnesscan

allay.Thesourceofmymistrustisnotinthesuspected

steadinessofyourattachment,butinadiffidenceofmyown

happyfate.LovelyandbelovedBlanche,repliedtheprince,your

fearsbutbindmethemorefirmlyinyourfetters,andwarrantmy

devotiontoyourcharms.Yetthisexcessiveindulgenceofafond

jealousybordersondisloyaltytolove,and,ifImayventureto

sayso,trenchesontheesteemtowhichmyconstancyhashitherto

entitledme.No,no,neverentertainadoubtthatmydestinycan

everbesunderedfromyours,butratherindulgethepleasing

anticipation,thatyou,andyoualone,willbethearbitressof

myfate,andthesourceofallmybliss.Away,then,withthese

vainalarms.Whymusttheydisturbanintercoursesocharming?

Ah!mylord,rejoinedthedaughterofLeontio,yoursubjects,

whentheyplacethecrownuponyourhead,mayaskofyoua

princess-queen,descendedfromalonglineofkings,whose

glitteringallianceshalljoinnewrealmstoyourhereditary

estates.Perhaps,alas!youwillmeettheirambitiousaims,even

attheexpenseofyoursoftestvows.Nay,why,resumedEnriquez,

withrisingpassion,whytooreadyaself-tormentor,doyouraise

soafflictingaphantomoffuturity?Shouldheaventaketheking

myuncletoitself,andplaceSicilyundermydominion,Iswear

tounitemyselfwithyouatPalermo,inpresenceofmywhole

court.TothisIcalltowitnessallwhichisheldsacredand

inviolableamongmen.

TheprotestationsofEnriquezremovedthefearsofSiffredi’s

daughter.Therestoftheirdiscourseturnedontheking’s

illness.Enriquezdisplayedthegoodnessofhisnatural

disposition,forhepitiedhisuncle’slot,thoughhehadno

reasontobegreatlyaffectedbyit;buttheforceofblood

extortedfromhimsentimentsofregretforaprincewhosedeath

heldoutanimmediateprospectofthecrown.Blanchedidnotyet

knowallthemisfortuneswhichhungoverher.Theconstableof

Sicily,whohadmethercomingoutofherfather’sapartment,one

daywhenhewasatthecastleofBelmonteonsomebusinessof

importance,wasstruckwithadmiration.Theverynextday,he

madeproposalstoSiffredi,whoentertainedhisofferfavourably;

buttheillnessofRogertakingplaceunexpectedlyaboutthat

time,themarriagewasputoffforthepresent,andthesubject

hadnotbeenhintedatinthemostdistantmannertoBlanche.

Onemorning,asEnriquezhadjustfinisheddressing,hewas

surprisedtoseeLeontioenterhisapartment,followedby

Blanche.Sir,saidthisminister,thenewsIhavetoannounce

willinsomedegreeafflictyourexcellentheart,butitis

counteractedbyconsolingcircumstanceswhichoughttomoderate

yourgrief.Thekingyourunclehasdepartedthislife;andby

hisdeathleftyoutheheirofhissceptre.Sicilyisatyour

feet.ThenobilityofthekingdomwaityourordersatPalermo.

Theyhavecommissionedmetoreceivetheminperson,andIcome,

myliege,withmydaughtertopayyoutheearliestandsincerest

homageofyournewsubjects.Theprince,whowaswellawarethat

Rogerhadbeenfortwomonthssinkingunderacomplaintgradual

initsprogressbutfatalinitsnature,wasnotastonishedat

thisnews.Andyet,struckwithhissuddenexaltation,hefelta

thousandconfusedmotionsrisingupbyturnsinhisheart.He

musedforsometime,thenbreakingsilence,addressedthesewords

toLeontio—WiseSiffredi,Ihavealwaysconsideredyouasmy

father.Ishallmakeitmyglorytobegovernedbyyourcounsels,

andyoushallreigninSicilywithaswayparamounttomyown.

Withthesewords,advancingtothestandishandtakingablank

sheetofpaper,hewrotehisnameatthebottom.Whatareyou

doing,sir?saidSiffredi.Provingmygratitudeandmyesteem,

answeredEnriquez.Thentheprincepresentedthepaperto

Blanche,andsaid—Accept,madam,thispledgeofmyfaith,and

oftheempirewithwhichIinvestyouovermythoughtsand

actions.Blanchereceiveditwithablush,andmadethisanswer

totheprince—Iacknowledgewithallhumilitythe

condescensionsofmysovereign,butmydestinyisinthehandsof

afather,andyoumustnotconsidermeasungratefulifIdeposit

thisflatteringtokeninhiscustody,tobeusedaccordingtothe

dictatesofhissagediscretion.

Incompliancewiththesesentimentsoffilialduty,shegavethe

signmanualofEnriqueztoherfather.ThenSiffredisawatonce

whattillthatmomenthadeludedhispenetration.Heentered

dearlyintotheprince’ssentiments,andsaid:Yourmajestyshall

havenoreproachestomakeme.Ishallnotactunworthilyofthe

confidence….MydearLeontio,interruptedEnriquez,youand

unworthinessnevercanbeallied.Makewhatuseyoupleaseofmy

signature.Ishallconfirmyourdetermination.Butgo,returnto

Palermo,prescribetheceremoniesformycoronationthere,and

tellmysubjectsthatIshallfollowyouinpersonimmediately,

toreceivetheiroathsofallegiance,andassurethemofmy

protectioninreturn.Theministerobeyedthecommandsofhisnew

master,andsetoutforPalermowithhisdaughter.

Somehoursaftertheirdeparture,theprincealsoleftBelmonte,

withhisthoughtsmoreintentonhispassionthanonthehigh

ranktowhichhewascalled.Immediatelyonhisarrivalinthe

city,theairwasrentwithathousandcriesofjoy.Hemadehis

entryintothepalaceamidtheacclamationsofthepeople,and

everythingwasreadyfortheaugustformalities.ThePrincess

Constancewaswaitingtoreceivehim,inamagnificentmourning

dress.SheappeareddeeplyaffectedbyRoger’sdeath.Thecustoms

ofsocietyrequiredfromthemareciprocalcomplimentof

condolenceonthelateevent;andtheyeachofthemacquitted

themselveswithgoodbreedingandpropriety.Buttherewas

somewhatmorecoldnessonthepartofEnriquezthanonthatof

Constance,whocouldnotenterintofamilyquarrels,andresolved

onhatingtheyoungprince.Heplacedhimselfonthethrone,and

theprincesssatebesidehim,inachairofstatealittleless

elevated.Thegreatofficersoftherealmfellintotheirplaces,

eachaccordingtohisrank.Theceremonybegan;andLeontio,as

lordhighchancellorofthekingdom,holdinginhispossession

thewillofthelateking,openedit,andreadthecontents

aloud.ThisinstrumentcontainedinsubstancethatRoger,in

defaultofissue,nominatedtheeldestsonofMainfroihis

successor,onconditionofhismarryingthePrincessConstance;

andintheeventofhisrefusingherhand,thecrownofSicily

wastodevolve,tohisexclusion,ontheheadoftheinfantDon

Pedro,hisbrother,onthelikecondition.

ThesewordswereathunderstroketoEnriquez.Hissenseswereall

bewilderedeventodistraction;andhisagoniesbecamestillmore

acute,whenLeontio,havingfinishedthereadingofthewill,

addressedtheassemblyatlargetothefollowingeffect:My

lords,thelastinjunctionsofthelatekinghavingbeenmade

knowntoournewmonarch,thatpiousandexcellentprince

consentstohonourhiscousinthePrincessConstancewithhis

hand.AtthesewordsEnriquezinterruptedthechancellor.

Leontio,saidhe,rememberthewriting;Blanche….Sire,

interruptedSiffrediinhisturnwithprecipitation,lestthe

princeshouldfindanopportunityofmakinghimselfunderstood,

hereitis.Thenobilityofthekingdom,addedhe,exhibitingthe

blankpapertotheassembly,willseebyyourmajesty’saugust

subscription,theesteeminwhichyouholdtheprincess,andyour

implicitdeferencetothelastwillofthelatekingyouruncle.

Havingfinishedthesewords,heforthwithbeganreadingthe

instrumentinsuchtermsashehadhimselfinserted.Accordingto

thecontents,thenewkinggaveapromisetohispeople,with

formalitiesthemostbindingandauthentic,thathewouldmarry

Constance,inconformitywiththeintentionofRoger.Thehall

re-echoedwithpealingshoutsofsatisfaction.Longliveourhigh

andmightyKingEnriquez!exclaimedallthosewhowerepresent.

Asthemarkedaversionoftheprincefortheprincesshadnever

beenanysecret,itwasapprehended,notwithoutreason,thathe

mightrevoltagainsttheconditionofthewill,andlightupthe

flameofcivildiscordinthekingdom;butthepublicenunciation

ofthissolemnact,quietingthefearsofthenobilityandthe

peopleonthathead,excitedtheseuniversalapplauses,which

wenttothemonarch’sheartlikethestabofanassassin.

Constance,whohadanearerinterestthananyhumanbeinginthe

result,fromthedoublemotiveofgloryandpersonalaffection,

laidholdofthisopportunityforexpressinghergratitude.The

princehadmuchadotokeephisfeelingswithinbounds.He

receivedthecomplimentoftheprincesswithsoconstrainedan

air,andevincedsounusualadisorderinhisbehaviour,as

scarcelytoreplyinamannersuitedtothecommonformsofgood

breeding.Atlast,nolongermasterofhisviolentpassions,he

wentuptoSiffredi,whomtheformalitiesofhisofficedetained

neartheroyalperson,andsaidtohiminalowtoneofvoice—

Whatisthemeaningofallthis,Leontio?ThesignaturewhichI

depositedinyourdaughter’shandswasnotmeantforsuchause

asthis.Youareguiltyof….

Myliege,interruptedSiffrediagainwithatoneoffirmness,

looktoyourownglory.Ifyourefusetocomplywiththe

injunctionsoftheking,youruncle,youlosethecrownof

Sicily.Nosoonerhadhethrowninthissalutaryhint,thanhe

gotawayfromtheking,topreventallpossibilityofareply.

Enriquezwasleftinamostembarrassingsituation.Athousand

oppositeemotionsagitatedhimatonce.Hewasexasperated

againstSiffredi:togiveupBlanchewasmorethanhecould

endure:sothat,balancingbetweenhisprivatefeelingsandthe

callsofpublichonour,hewasdoubtfultowhichsideheshould

incline.Atlengthhisdoubtswereresolved,undertheideaof

havingfoundthemeanstosecureSiffredi’sdaughter,without

givinguphisclaimtothethrone.Heaffectedthereforean

entiresubmissiontothewillofRoger,inthehope,whilea

dispensationfromhismarriagewithhiscousinwassolicitingat

Rome,ofgainingtheleadingnobilitybyhislargesses,andthus

establishinghispowersofirmly,asnottobeunderthe

necessityoffulfillingtheconditionsoftheobnoxious

instrument.

Afterformingthisdesign,hegottobemorecomposed;and

turningtowardsConstance,confirmedtoherwhatthelordhigh

chancellorhadreadinpresenceofthewholeassembly.But,at

theverymomentwhenhehadsofarbetrayedhimselfastopledge

hisfaith,Blanchearrivedinthehallofcouncil.Shecame

thither,byherfather’scommand,topayherdutytothe

princess;andherears,onentering,werestartledatthe

expressionsofEnriquez.Inadditiontothisshock,Leontio,

determinednottoleaveherindoubtofhermisfortune,

accompaniedherpresentationtoConstancewiththesewords:

Daughter,makeyourhomageacceptabletoyourqueen;calldown

uponhertheblessingsofaprosperousreignandahappy

marriage.ThisterribleblowoverwhelmedtheunfortunateBlanche.

Vainwereallherattemptstosuppressheranguish;her

countenancechangedsuccessivelyfromthedeepestblushtoa

deadlypaleness,andshetrembledfromheadtofoot.Andyetthe

princesshadnosuspicionhowthematterreallystood;but

attributedtheconfusedstyleofhercomplimenttothe

awkwardnessofayoungpersonbroughtupinastateof

rustication,andtotallyunacquaintedwiththemannersofa

court.Buttheyoungkingwasmoreinthesecret.Thesightof

Blancheputhimoutofcountenance:andthedespair,toolegible

inhereyes,wasenoughtodrivehimoutofhissenses.Her

feelingswerenottobemisunderstood;andtheypointedathimas

themostfaithlessofmen.Couldhehavespokentoher,itmight

havetranquillizedhisagitation:buthowtolayholdofthe

happymoment,whenallSicily,atleasttheillustriouspartof

it,wasfixedinanxiousexpectationonhisproceedings?Besides,

thesternandinflexibleSiffrediextinguishedatonceeveryray

ofhope.Thisminister,whowasatnolosstodecipherthehearts

ofthetwolovers,andwasfirmlyresolved,ifpossible,to

preventtheevilconsequencesimpendingoverthestatefromthe

violenceofthisimprudentattachment,gothisdaughteroutof

theassemblywiththedexterityofapractisedcourtier,and

regainedtheroadtoBelmontewithherinhispossession,

determined,formorereasonsthanone,tomarryherassoonas

possible.

Whentheyreachedhome,hegavehertounderstandallthehorror

ofherdestiny,byannouncinghispromisetotheconstable.Just

heaven!exclaimedshe,transportedintoaparoxysmofdespair,

whichherfather’spresencecouldnotrestrain,whatunparalleled

sufferingshaveyouthecrueltytolayupinstorefortheill-fatedBlanche?Heragonywenttosuchadegreeofviolenceasto

suspendeverypowerofhersoul.Herlimbsseemedasifstiffened

undertheicygraspofdeath.Coldandpale,shefellsenseless

intoherfather’sarms.Neitherwasheinsensibletoher

melancholycondition.Yet,feelingashedidallthealarmand

anxietyofaparent,thesterninflexibilityofthestatesman

remainedunshaken.Blanche,afteratime,wasrecalledtolife

andfeeling,ratherbythekeennessofhermentalpangsthanby

themeanswhichSiffrediusedforherrecovery.Languishinglydid

sheraiseherscarcelyconsciouseyes:whenglancingonthe

authorofhermisery,ashewasanxiouslyemployedabouther

person;….Mylord,saidshe,withinarticulateand

convulsiveaccents,Iamashamedtoletyouseemyweakness:but

death,whichcannotbelonginfinishingmytorments,willsoon

ridyouofawretcheddaughter,whohasventuredtodisposeof

herheartwithoutconsultingyou.No,mydearBlanche,answered

Leontio,yourdeathwouldbetoodearasacrifice:Virtuewill

resumeherempireoveryouractions.Theconstable’sproposalsdo

youhonour;itisoneofthemostconsiderablealliancesinthe

state….Iesteemhispersonandamsensibleofhismerit,

interruptedBlanche;but,mylord,thekinghadgivenme

encouragementtoindulge….Daughter,vociferatedSiffredi,

breakinginuponherdiscourse,Ianticipateallyouhavetosay

onthatsubject.Yourpartialityfortheprinceisnosecretto

me,norwoulditmeetmydisapprobationunderother

circumstances.Youshouldevenseemeactiveandardenttosecure

foryouthehandofEnriquez,ifthecauseofgloryandthe

welfareoftherealmdemandeditnotindispensablyforConstance.

Itisonthesoleconditionofmarryingthatprincess,thatthe

latekinghasnominatedhimhissuccessor.Wouldyouhavehim

preferyoutothecrownofSicily?Believeme,myheartbleedsat

themortalblowwhichimpendsoveryou.Yet,sincewecannot

contendwiththefates,makeamagnanimouseffort.Yourfameis

concerned,nottoletthewholenationseethatyouhavenursed

upadelusivehope.Yoursensibilitytowardsthepersonofthe

kingmightevengivebirthtoignominiousrumours.Theonly

methodofpreservingyourselffromtheirpoison,istomarrythe

constable.Inshort,Blanche,thereisnotimeleftfor

irresolution.Thekinghasdecidedbetweenathroneandthe

possessionofyourcharms.HehasfixedhischoiceonConstance.

Theconstableholdsmywordsinpledge;enablemetoredeemit,I

beseechyou.Orifnothingbutaparamountnecessitycanfixyour

waveringresolution,Imustmakeanunwillinguseofmyparental

authority;knowthen,Icommandyou.

Endingwiththisthreat,helefthertomakeherownreflections

onwhathadpassed.Hewasinhopesthatafterhavingweighedthe

reasonshehadurgedtosupporthervirtueagainstthebiasof

herfeelings,shewoulddetermineofherselftoadmitthe

constable’saddresses.Hewasnotmistakeninhisconjecture:but

atwhatanexpensedidthewretchedBlancherisetothisheight

ofvirtuousresolution!Herconditionwasthatinthewholeworld

themostdeservingofpity.Theafflictionoffindingherfears

realizedrespectingtheinfidelityofEnriquez,andofbeing

compelled,besideslosingthemanofherchoice,tosacrifice

herselftoanotherwhomshecouldneverlove,occasionedhersuch

stormsofpassionandalternatetossingsoffranticdesperation,

astobringwitheachsuccessivemomentavarietyofvindictive

torture.Ifmysadfateisfixed,exclaimedshe,howcanI

triumphoveritbutbydeath?Mercilesspowers,whopresideover

ourwaywardfortunes,whyfeedandtantalizemewiththemost

flatteringhopes,onlytoplungemeheadlongintoagulfof

miseries?Andthoutoo,perfidiouslover!torushintothearms

ofanother,whenallthosevowsofeternalfidelityweremine.So

soonthenisthatplightedfaithvoidandforgotten?Topunish

theeforsocrueladeception,mayitpleaseheaven,inits

retribution,tomaketheconsciouscouchofconjugalendearment,

pollutedasitmustbebyperjury,lessthesceneofpleasure

thanthedungeonofremorse!MaythefondcaressesofConstance

distilpoisonthroughthyfaithlessheart!Letusrivalone

anotherinthehorrorsofournuptials!Yes,traitor,Imeanto

wedtheconstable,thoughshrinkingfromhisardenttouch,to

avengemeonmyself!tobemyownscourgeandtormentor,for

havingselectedsofatallytheobjectofmyfranticpassion.

Sincedeep-rootedobediencetothewillofGodforbidsto

entertainthethoughtofaprematuredeath,whateverdaysmaybe

allottedmetodragonshallbebutalengthenedchainof

heavinessandtorment.Ifasentimentoflovestilllurksabout

yourheart,itwillberevengeenoughformetocastmyselfinto

yourpresence,thedevotedbrideorvictimofanother:butifyou

havethrownoffmyremembrancewithyourownvows,Sicilyat

leastshallgloryinthedistinctionofreckoningamongits

nativesawomanwhoknewhowtopunishherselfforhaving

disposedofherhearttoolightly.

Insuchastateofminddidthiswretchedmartyrtoloveandduty

passthenightprecedinghermarriagewiththeconstable.

Siffredi,findingherthenextmorningreadytocomplywithhis

wishes,hastenedtoavailhimselfofthisfavourabledisposition.

HesentfortheconstabletoBelmonteonthatveryday,andthe

marriageceremonywasperformedprivatelyinthechapelofthe

castle.WhatacrisisforBlanche!Itwasnotenoughtorenounce

acrown,tolosealoverendearedtoherbyeverytie,andto

yieldherselfuptotheobjectofherhatred.Inadditiontoall

this,shemustputaconstraintonhersentimentsbeforea

husband,naturallyjealous,andlongoccupiedwiththemost

ardentadmirationofhercharms.Thebridegroom,delightedinthe

possessionofher,wasalldaylonginherpresence.Hedidnot

leavehertothemiserableconsolationofpouringouthersorrows

insecret.Whennightarrived,Leontio’sdaughterfeltallher

disgustandterrorredoubled.Butwhatseemedlikelytobecomeof

herwhenherwomen,afterhavingundressedher,leftheralone

withtheconstable?Heenquiredrespectfullyintothecauseof

herapparentfaintnessanddiscomposure.Thequestionwas

sufficientlyembarrassingtoBlanche,whoaffectedtobeill.Her

husbandwasatfirstdeceivedbyherpretences;buthedidnot

longremaininsuchanerror.Being,ashewas,sincerely

concernedattheconditioninwhichhesawher,butstill

pressinghertogotobed,hisurgentsolicitations,falsely

construedbyher,offeredtoherwoundedmindanimagesocruel

andindelicate,thatshecouldnolongerdissemblewhatwas

passingwithin,butgaveafreecoursetohersighsandtears.

Whatadiscoveryforamanwhothoughthimselfatthesummitof

hiswishes!Henolongerdoubtedbutthedistressedstateofhis

wifewasfraughtwithsomesinisteromentohislove.Andyet,

thoughthisknowledgereducedhimtoasituationalmostas

deplorableasthatofBlanche,hehadsufficientcommandover

himselftokeephissuspicionswithinhisownbreast.He

redoubledhisassiduities,andwentonpressinghisbridetolay

herselfdown,assuringherthatthereposeofwhichshestoodin

needshouldbeundisturbedbyhisinterruption.Heofferedofhis

ownaccordeventocallherwomen,ifshewasofopinionthat

theirattendancecouldaffordanyrelieftoherindisposition.

Blanche,revivingatthatproposal,toldhimthatsleepwasthe

bestremedyforthedebilityunderwhichshelaboured.He

affectedtothinksotoo.Theyaccordinglypartookofthesame

bed,butwithaconductaltogetherdifferentfromwhatthelaws

oflove,sanctionedbytheritesofmarriage,mightauthorizein

apairmutuallydelightedanddelighting.

WhileSiffredi’sdaughterwasgivingwaytohergrief,the

constablewashuntinginhisownmindforthecauseswhichmight

renderthenuptialofficesocontemptibleasinecureinhis

hands.Hecouldnotbelonginconjecturingthathehadarival,

butwhenheattemptedtodiscoverhimhewaslostinthe

labyrinthofhisownideas.Allheknewwithcertainty,wasthe

peculiarseverityofhisownfate.Hehadalreadypassedtwo

thirdsofthenightinthisperplexityofthought,whenan

undistinguishablenoisegrewgraduallyonhissenseofhearing.

Greatwashissurprisewhenafootstepseemedaudiblytopace

abouttheroom.Hefanciedhimselfmistaken;forherecollected

shuttingthedoorhimselfafterBlanche’swomenhadretired.He

drewbackthecurtaintosatisfyhissensesontheoccasionof

thisextraordinarynoise.Butthelightinthechimneycornerhad

goneout,andhesoonheardafeebleandmelancholyvoicecalling

Blanchewithanxiousandimportunaterepetitions.Thendidthe

suggestionsofhisjealousytransporthimintorage.Hisinsulted

honourobliginghimtorushfromthebedtowhichhehadsolong

aspired,andeithertopreventameditatedinjury,ortake

vengeanceforitsperpetration,hecaughtuphisswordandflew

forwardinthedirectionwhencethevoiceseemedtoproceed.He

feltanakedbladeopposedtohisown.Asheadvanced,his

antagonistretired.Thepursuitbecamemoreeager,theretreat

moreprecipitate.Hissearchwasvigilant,andeverycornerof

theroomseemedtocontainitsobject,butthatwhichhe

momentarilyoccupied.Thedarkness,however,favouredtheunknown

invader,andhewasnowheretobefound.Thepursuerhalted.He

listened,butheardnosound.Itseemedlikeenchantment!Hemade

forthedoor,undertheideathatthiswastheoutlettothe

secretassassinofhishonour;yettheboltwasshotasfastas

before.Unabletocomprehendthisstrangeoccurrence,hecalled

thoseofhisretinuewhoweremostwithinreachofhisvoice.As

heopenedthedoorforthispurpose,heplacedhimselfsoasto

preventallegress,andstooduponhisguard,lestthedevoted

victimofhissearchshouldescape.

Athisredoubledcries,someservantsranwithlights.Helaid

holdofataper,andrenewedhissearchinthechamberwithhis

swordstilldrawn.Yethefoundnoonethere,noranyapparent

signofanypersonhavingbeenintheroom.Hewasnotawareof

anyprivatedoor,norcouldhediscoveranypracticablemodeof

escape:yetforallthis,hecouldnotshuthiseyesagainstthe

natureandcircumstancesofhismisfortune.Histhoughtswereall

thrownintoinextricableconfusion.Toaskanyquestionsof

Blanchewasinvain:forshehadtoodeepaninterestin

perplexingthetruth,tofurnishanycluewhatevertoits

discovery.Hethereforeadoptedthemeasureofunbosominghis

griefstoLeontio;butpreviouslysentawayhisattendantswith

theexcusethathethoughthehadheardsomenoiseintheroom,

butwasmistaken.Hisfather-in-lawhavinglefthischamberin

consequenceofthisstrangedisturbance,methim,andheardfrom

hislipstheparticularsofthisunaccountableadventure.The

narrativewasaccompaniedwitheveryindicationofextremeagony,

producedbydeepandtenderfeeling,aswellasbyasenseof

insultedhonour.

Siffrediwassurprisedattheoccurrence.Thoughitdidnot

appeartohimatallprobable,thatwasnoreasonforbeingeasy

aboutitsreality.Theking’spassionmightaccomplishanything;

andthatideaalonejustifiedthemostcruelapprehensions.But

itcoulddonogoodtofostereitherthenaturaljealousyofhis

son-in-law,orhisparticularsuspicionsarisingoutof

circumstances.Hethereforeendeavouredtopersuadehim,withan

airofconfidence,thatthisimaginaryvoice,andairysword

opposedtohissubstantialone,were,andcouldpossiblybe,but

thegratuitouscreationsofafancy,undertheinfluenceof

amorousdistrust.Itwasmorallyimpossiblethatanyperson

shouldhavemadehiswayintohisdaughter’schamber.Withregard

tothemelancholy,sovisibleinhiswile’sdeportment,itmight

verynaturallybeattributedtoprecarioushealthanddelicacyof

constitution.Thehonourofahusbandneednotbesotremblingly

alivetoallthequalmsofmaidenfearandinexperience.Change

ofcondition,inthecaseofagirlhabituatedtolivealmost

withouthumansociety,andabruptlyconsignedtotheembracesof

amaninwhomloveandpreviousacquaintancehadnotinspired

confidence,mightinnocentlybethecauseofthesetears,of

thesesighs,andofthislivelyafflictionsoirksometohis

feelings.Butitwastobeconsideredthattenderness,especially

intheheartsofyoungladies,fortifiedbytheprideofblood

againsttheexcessesoflove-sickabandonment,wasonlytobe

cherishedintoaflamebytimeandassiduity.Hetherefore

exhortedhimtotranquillizehisdisturbedmind;tobeardently

officiousinredoublingeveryinstanceofaffection;tocreatea

softandseducinginterestinthesensibilityofBlanche.In

short,hebesoughthimearnestlytoreturntoherapartment,and

labouredtopersuadehimthathisdistrustandconfusionwould

onlysetheronanunconjugalandlitigiousdefenceofher

insultedvirtue.

Theconstablereturnednoanswertotheargumentsofhisfather-in-law,whetherbecausehebegantothinkingoodearnestthat

hissenseswereimposedonbythedisorderofhismind,or

becausehethoughtitmoretothepurposetodissemble,thanto

undertakeineffectuallytoconvincetheoldmanofaneventso

devoidofalllikelihood.Hereturnedtohiswife’schamber,laid

himselfdownbyherside,andendeavouredtoobtainfromsleep

somerelieffromhisextremeuneasiness.Blanche,onherpart,

theunhappyBlanche,wasnotawhitmoreatherease.Herears

hadbeenbuttooopentothesamealarmingsounds,whichhad

assailedherhusband’speace;norcouldsheconstrueinto

illusionanadventureofwhichshewellknewthesecretandthe

motives.ShewassurprisedthatEnriquezshouldattempttofind

hiswayintoherapartment,afterhavingpledgedhisfaithso

solemnlytothePrincessConstance.Insteadoffeedinghersoul

withvanity,orderivinganyflatteringomensfromaproceeding

fraughtwithpersonaltenderness,butdestructivetoself-approbation,sheconsidereditasanewinsult,andherheartwas

onlysomuchthemoreexasperatedwithresentmentagainstthe

author.

WhileSiffredi’sdaughter,withallherprejudicesexcited

againsttheyoungking,believedhimthemostguiltyofmen,that

unhappyprince,morethaneverensnaredbyBlanche,wasanxious

foraninterview,tosatisfyhermindonasubjectwhichseemed

tomakesomuchagainsthim.Forthatpurposehewouldhave

visitedBelmontesooner,butforapressofbusinesstoourgent

tobeneglected;norcouldhewithdrawhimselffromthecourt

beforethatnight.Hewasperfectlyathomeinalltheturnings

ofaplacewherehehadbeenbroughtup,andthereforewasatno

losstoslipintothecastleofSiffredi.Nay,hewasstillin

possessionofthekeytoasecretdoorcommunicatingwiththe

gardens.Bythisinletdidhegainhisformerapartment,and

thencefoundhiswayintoBlanche’schamber.Onlyconceivewhat

musthavebeentheastonishmentofthatprincetofindamanin

possession,andtofeelaswordopposedtohisguard.Hewasjust

onthepointofbetrayingall,andofpunishingtherebelonthe

veryspot,whosesacrilegioushandhaddaredtoliftitself

againstthepersonofitslawfulsovereign.Butthenthedelicacy

duetothedaughterofLeontioheldhisindignationincheck.He

retreatedinthesamedirectionashehadadvanced,andregained

thePalermoroad,inmoredistressandperplexitythanever.

Gettinghomesomelittletimebeforedaybreak,hisapartment

affordedhimthemostquietretreat.Buthisthoughtswereallon

theroadbacktoBelmonte.Theresting-placeofhisaffections,a

senseofhonour,inaword,lovewithallitspretensionsand

surmises,wouldneverallowhimtodelayanexplanation,

involvingallthecircumstancesofsostrangeandmelancholyan

adventure.

Assoonasitwasdaylighthegaveoutthathewasgoingona

huntingexpedition.Undercoverofsporting,hishuntsmenanda

chosenpartyofhiscourtierspenetratedintotheforestof

Belmonteunderhisdirection.Thechasewasfollowedforsome

time,asablindtohisrealdesign.Whenhesawthewholeparty

eagerlydrivingon,andwhollyengrossedbythesport,he

gallopedoffinadifferentdirection,andstruck,withoutany

attendants,intotheroadtowardsLeontio’scastle.Thevarious

tracksoftheforestweretoowellknowntohimtoadmitofhis

losinghisway.Hisimpatience,too,wouldnotallowhimtotake

anythoughtofhishorse;sothatthemomentsscarcelyflitted

faster,thanhisexpeditioninleavingbehindhimthedistance

whichseparatedhimfromtheobjectofhislove.Hisverysoul

wasontherackforsomeplausibleexcusetopleadforaprivate

interviewwithSiffredi’sdaughter,when,crossinganarrowpath

justattheparkgate,heobservedtwowomensittingcloseby

him,inearnestconversationundertheshelterofatree.It

mightwellbesupposedthatthesefemalesbelongedtothecastle;

andeventhatprobabilitywassufficienttorouseaninterestin

him.Buthisemotionwasheightenedintoafeelingbeyondhis

reasontocontrol,fortheseladieshappenedtolookroundon

hearingthetrotofahorseadvancinginthatdirection;whenat

onceherecognizedhisdearBlanche.Thefactwas,shehadmade

herescapefromthecastlewithNisa,thepersonofallothers

amongherwomenmostinherconfidence,thatshemightatleast

havethesatisfactionofweepingoverhermisfortuneswithout

intrusionorrestraint.

Heflew,andseemedrathertothrowhimselfheadlongthantofall

atherfeet.Butwhenhebeheldintheexpressionofher

countenanceeverymarkofthedeepestaffliction,hisheartwas

softened.LovelyBlanche,saidhe,donot,letmeentreatyou,

givewaytotheemotionsofyourgrief.Appearances,Iown,must

representmeasguiltyinyoureyes:butwhenyoushallbemade

acquaintedwithmyprojectinyourbehalf,whatyouconsiderasa

crimewillbetransformedinyourthoughtsintoaproofofmy

innocence,andanevidenceofmyunparalleledaffection.These

words,calculated,accordingtotheviewsofEnriquez,toallay

thegriefofBlanche,servedonlytoredoubleheraffliction.

Fainwouldshehaveanswered,buthersobsstifledherutterance.

Theprince,thunderstruckatthedeath-likeagitationofher

flame,addressedherthus.What,madam,istherenopossibility

oftranquilizingyouragitation?BywhatsadmischancehaveI

lostyourconfidence,attheverymomentwhenmycrownandeven

mylifeareatstake,inconsequenceofmyresolutiontohold

myselfengagedtoyou?Atthissuggestionthedaughterof

Leontio,doingviolencetoherownfeelings,butthinkingit

necessarytoexplainherself,saidtohim—Myliege,your

assurancesarenolongeradmissible.Mydestinyandyoursare

henceforwardasfarasunderasthepoles.Ah!Blanche,

interruptedEnriquezwithimpatience,whatcuttingwordsare

these,toopainfulformysenseofhearing?Whodaresstepin

betweenourloves?Whowouldventuretostandforwardagainstthe

headlongrageofakingwhowouldkindleallSicilyintoa

conflagration,ratherthansufferyoutoberavishedfromhis

long-cherishedhopes?Allyourpower,myliege,greatasitis,

repliedthedaughterofSiffrediinatoneofmelancholy,becomes

inefficientagainsttheobstaclesinthewayofourunion.Iknow

nothowtotellityou,but….Iammarriedtothe

constable.

Marriedtotheconstable!exclaimedtheprince,startingbackto

somedistancefromher.Hecouldproceednofurtherinhis

discourse,socompletelywashethunderstruckatthe

intelligence.Overwhelmedbythisunexpectedblow,hefelthis

strengthforsakehim.Hisunconsciouslimbslaidthemselves

withouthisguidanceagainstthetrunkofatreejustbehindhim.

Hiscountenancewaspallid,hiswholeframeinatremor,hismind

bewilderedandhisspiritsdepressed.Withnosenseorfacultyat

libertybutthatofgazing,andthereeverypowerofhissoulwas

suspendedonBlanche,hemadeherfeelmostpoignantlyhowhe

himselfwasagonizedbythefataleventshehadannounced.The

expressionofcountenanceonherpartwassuchastoshowhim

thatheremotionswerenotuncongenialwithhisown.Thusdid

thesetwodistressedloversforatimepreserveasilencetowards

eachother,whichportendedsomethingofterrorinitscalmness.

Atlengththeprince,recoveringalittlefromhisdisorderbyan

effortofcourage,resumedthediscourse,andsaidtoBlanche

withasigh—Madam,whathaveyoudone?Youhavedestroyedme,

andinvolvedyourselfinthesameruinbyyourcredulity.

Blanchewasoffendedattheseemingreproachesoftheking,when

thestrongestgroundsofcomplaintwereapparentlyonherside.

What!mylord,answeredshe,doyouadddissimulationto

infidelity?Wouldyouhavemerejecttheevidenceofmyowneyes

andears,soastobelieveyouinnocentinspiteoftheirreport?

No,mylord,Iwillowntoyousuchaneffortofabstractionis

notinmypower.Andyet,madam,repliedtheking,these

witnessesbywhosetestimonyyouhavebeensofullyconvinced,

arebutimpostors.Theyhavebeeninaconspiracytobetrayyou.

ItisnolessthefactthatIaminnocentandfaithful,thanit

istruethatyouaremarriedtotheconstable.Whatisityou

say,mylord?repliedshe.DidInotoverhearyouconfirmingthe

pledgeofyourhandandhearttoConstance?Haveyounotbound

yourselftothenobilityoftherealm,andundertakentocomply

withthewillofthelateking?Hasnottheprincessreceivedthe

homageofyournewsubjectsastheirqueen,andinqualityof

bridetoPrinceEnriquez?Weremyeyesthenfascinated?Tellme,

tellmerather,traitor,thatBlanchewasweighedasdustinthe

balanceofyourheart,whencomparedwiththeattractionsofa

throne.Withoutloweringyourselfsofarastoassumewhatyouno

longerfeel,andwhatperhapsyouneverfelt,ownatoncethat

thecrownofSicilyappearedamoretenablepossessionwith

ConstancethanwiththedaughterofLeontio.Youareinthe

right,mylord.Mytitletoanillustriousthrone,andtothe

heartofaprincelikeyou,standsonanequallyprecarious

footing.Itwasvanityintheextremetopreferaclaimto

either:butyououghtnottohavedrawnmeonintoerror.You

wellrecollectwhatalarmsweremyportionattheverythoughtof

losingyou,ofwhichIhadalmostasupernaturalforeboding.Why

didyoulullmyapprehensionstosleep?Towhatpurposewasthat

delusivemockery?Imightelsehaveaccusedfateratherthan

yourself,andyouwouldatleasthaveretainedaninterestinmy

heart,thoughunaccompaniedbyahandwhichnoothersuitorcould

everhaveobtained.Aswearenowcircumstanced,your

justificationisoutofseason.Iammarriedtotheconstable.To

relievemefromthecontinuanceofaninterview,whichcastsa

shadeovermypurityhithertounsullied,permitme,mylord,

withoutfailinginduerespect,towithdrawfromthepresenceof

aprincetowhoseaddressesIamnolongeratlibertytolisten.

Withthesewords,shedartedawayfromEnriquezinashurrieda

stepastheagitationofherspiritswouldallow.Stop,madam,

exclaimedhe,drivenottodespairaprince,inclinedtooverturn

athrone,whichyoureproachhimforhavingpreferredto

yourself,ratherthanyieldtotheimportunitiesofhisnew

subjects.Thatsacrificeisunderpresentcircumstances

superfluous,rejoinedBlanche.Thebondmustbebrokenbetween

theconstableandme,beforeanyeffectcanbeproducedbythese

generoustransports.SinceIamnotmyownmistress,littlewould

itavailthatSicilyshouldbeembroiled,nordoesitconcernme

towhomyougiveyourhand.IfIhavebetrayedmyownweakness,

andsufferedmyhearttobesurprised,atleastshallImuster

fortitudeenoughtosuppresseverysoftemotion,andprovetothe

newkingofSicily,thatthewifeoftheconstableisnolonger

themistressofPrinceEnriquez.Whilethisconversationwas

passing,theyreachedtheparkgate.Withasuddenspringsheand

Nisagotwithinthewalls.Astheytookcaretofastenthewicket

afterthem,theprincewasleftinastateofmelancholyand

stupefaction.Hecouldnotrecoverfromthestunningsensation,

occasionedbytheintelligenceofBlanche’smarriage.Unjustmay

Iwellcallyou,exclaimedhe.Youhaveburiedallremembranceof

oursolemnengagement!Spiteofmyprotestationsandyourown,

ourfatesarerentasunder?Thelong-cherishedhopeofpossessing

thosecharmswasanemptyphantom!Ah!cruelasyouare,how

dearlyhaveIpurchasedthedistinction,ofcompellingyouto

acknowledgetheconstancyofmylove!

Atthatmomenthisrival’shappiness,heightenedbythecolouring

ofjealousy,presenteditselftohismindinallthehorrorsof

thatfranticpassion.Soarbitrarywasitsswayoverhimforsome

moments,thathewasonthepointofsacrificingtheconstable,

andevenSiffredi,tohisblindvengeance.Reason,however,

calmedbylittleandlittletheviolenceofhistransports.And

yettheobviousimpossibilityofeffacingfromthemindof

Blanchehernaturalconvictionofhisinfidelity,reducedhimto

despair.Heflatteredhimselfwithweaningherfromher

prejudices,couldhebutconversewithhersecurefrom

interruption.Toattainthisend,itseemedthemostfeasible

plantogetridoftheconstable.Hethereforedeterminedtohave

himarrested,asapersonsuspectedoftreasonabledesigns,in

thethenunsettledstateofpublicaffairs.Thiscommissionwas

giventothecaptainofhisguard,whowentimmediatelyto

Belmonte,securedthepersonofhisprisonerjustastheevening

wasclosingin,andcarriedhimtothecastleofPalermo.

ThisoccurrencespreadanalarmatBelmonte.Siffreditookhis

departureforthwith,toofferhisownresponsibilitytotheking

fortheinnocenceofhisson-in-law,andtorepresentintheir

truecolourstheunpleasantconsequencesattendingsucharbitrary

exertionsofpower.Theprince,whohadanticipatedsucha

proceedingonthepartofhisminister,andwasdeterminedat

leasttosecurehimselfafreeinterviewwithBlanchebeforethe

releaseoftheconstable,hadexpresslyforbiddenanyoneto

addresshimtillthenextday.ButLeontio,settingthis

prohibitionatdefiance,contrivedsowellastomakehisway

intotheking’schamber.Myliege,saidhe,withanairof

humilitytemperedwithfirmness,ifitisallowableforasubject

fullofrespectandloyaltytocomplainofhismaster,Ihaveto

arraignyoubeforethetribunalofyourownconscience.What

crimehasmyson-in-lawcommitted?Hasyourmajestysufficiently

reflectedwhataneverlastingreproachisentailedonmyfamily?

Aretheconsequencesofanimprisonmentcalculatedtodisgustall

themostimportantofficersofthestatewiththeservice,a

matterofindifference?Ihaveundoubtedinformation,answered

theking,thattheconstableholdsacriminalcorrespondencewith

theInfantDonPedro.Acriminalcorrespondence!interrupted

Leontio,withsurprise.Ah!myliege,givenoeartothesurmise.

Yourmajestyisplayedupon.Treasonnevergainedafootingin

thefamilyofSiffredi.Itissufficientsecurityforthe

constablethatheismyson-in-law,toplacehimaboveall

suspicion.Theconstableisinnocent:butprivatemotiveshave

beentheoccasionofyourarrestinghim.

Sinceyouspeaktomesoopenly,repliedtheking,Iwilladopt

thesamesinceritywithyou.Youcomplainoftheconstable’s

imprisonment!Beitso.AndhaveInoreasontocomplainofyour

cruelty?itisyou,barbarousSiffredi,whohavewrestedmy

tranquillityfromme,andreducedyoursovereign,byyour

officiouscares,toenvythelowliestofthehumanrace.Fordo

notsofardeceiveyourselfastobelievethatIshalleverenter

intoyourviews.MymarriagewithConstanceisquiteoutofthe

question….What,myliege,interruptedLeontio,withan

expressionofhorror,isthereanydoubtaboutyourmarryingthe

princess,afterhavingflatteredherwiththathopeintheface

ofyourwholepeople?Iftheirwishesaredisappointed,replied

theking,takethecredittoyourself:Whereforedidyoureduce

metothenecessityofgivingthemapromisemyheartwouldnot

allowmetomakegood?Wherewastheoccasiontofillupwiththe

nameofConstanceaninstrumentdesignedfortheelevationof

yourowndaughter?Youcouldnotbeastrangertomydesign;need

youhavecompletedyourtyrannybydevotingBlanchetothearms

ofamantowhomshecouldnotgiveherheart?Andwhatauthority

haveyouoverminetodisposeofitinfavourofaprincesswhom

Idetest?Haveyouforgottenthatsheisthedaughterofthat

cruelMatilda,who,tramplingtherightsofconsanguinityand

humannatureunderfoot,causedmyfathertobreathehislast

underalltherigoursofahardcaptivity?AndshouldImarry

her!No,Siffredi,throwawaythathope.Beforetheluridtorch

ofsuchanhymenealshallbekindledinyourpresence,youshall

beholdallSicilyinflames,andtheexpiringembersquenchedin

blood.

Donotmyearsdeceiveme?exclaimedLeontio.Ah!sovereign,what

ascenedoyoupresentmewith!Whocanhearsuchmenaceswithout

shuddering?ButIamtooforwardtotakethealarm,continuedhe

inanalteredvoice.Youareintoocloseaunionwithyour

subjectstobetheinstrumentofacatastrophesomelancholy.You

willnotsufferpassiontotriumphoveryourreason.Virtueslike

yoursshallneverlosetheirlustrebythetarnishofhumanand

ordinaryweakness.IfIhavegivenmydaughterintothearmsof

theconstable,itwaswiththedesign,myliege,ofsecuringto

yourmajestyapowerfulsubject,ablebyhisownvalour,andthe

armyunderhiscommand,tomaintainyourpartyagainstthatof

thePrinceDonPedro.Itappearedtomethatbyconnectinghim

withmyfamilyinsocloseabond….Yes,yes!Thisbond,

exclaimedPrinceEnriquez,thisfatalbondhasbeenmyruin.

Unfeelingfriend,toaimawoundatmyvitalpart!What

commissionhadyoutotakecareofmyinterestsattheexpenseof

myaffections?Whydidyounotleavemetosupportmypretensions

bymyownarm?WasthereanyquestionaboutmycouragethatI

shouldbethoughtincompetenttoreducemyrebellioussubjectsto

theirobedience?Meansmighthavebeenfoundtopunishthe

constablehadhedaredtohavefallenofffromhisallegiance!I

amwellawareofthedifferencebetweenalawfulkingandan

arbitrarytyrant.Thehappinessofourpeopleisourfirstduty.

Butarewe,ontheotherhand,tobetheslavesofoursubjects?

Fromthemomentwhenweareselectedbyheavenforourhigh

office,dowelosethecommonprivilegeofnature,thebirthright

ofthehumanrace,todisposeofouraffectionsinwhatsoever

currenttheymayflow?Wellthen!ifwearelessourownmasters

thanthelowestofthehumanrace,takeback,Siffredi,that

sovereignauthorityyouaffecttohavesecuredtomebythewreck

ofmypersonalhappiness.

Youcannotbutbeacquainted,myliege,repliedtheminister,

thatitwasonyourmarriagewiththeprincess,thelateking,

youruncle,madethesuccessionofthecrowntodepend.Andby

whatright,rejoinedEnriquez,didevenheassumetohimselfso

arbitraryadisposition?Wasitonsuchunworthytermsthathe

succeededhisbrother,KingCharles?Howcameyouyourselftobe

sobesottedastoallowofastipulationsounjust?Forahigh

chancellor,youarenottoowellversedinourlawsand

constitutions.Tocutthemattershort,thoughIhavepromisedmy

handtoConstance,theengagementwasnotvoluntary.Idonot

thereforethinkmyselfboundtokeepmyword;andifDonPedro

foundsonmyrefusalanyhopeofsucceedingtothethronewithout

involvingthenationinabloodyanddestructivecontest,his

errorwillbetoosoonvisible.Theswordshalldecidebetweenus

towhomtheprizeofempiremaymoreworthilyfall.Leontio

couldnotventuretopresshimfurther,andconfinedhimselfto

supplicatingonhiskneesforthelibertyofhisson-in-law.That

boonheobtained.Go,saidthekingtohim,returntoBelmonte,

theconstableshallfollowyouthitherwithoutdelay.The

ministerdeparted,andmadethebestofhiswaytoBelmonte,

underthepersuasionthathisson-in-lawwouldovertakehimon

theroad.Inthishewasmistaken.Enriquezwasdeterminedto

visitBlanchethatnight,andwithsuchviewshedeferredthe

enlargementofherhusbandtillthenextmorning.

Duringthistimethefeelingsoftheconstablewereofthemost

agonizingnature.Hisimprisonmenthadopenedhiseyestothe

realcauseofhismisfortune.Hegavehimselfuptojealousy

withoutrestraintorremorse,andbelyingthegoodfaithwhich

hadhithertorenderedhischaractersovaluable,histhoughts

wereallbentonhisrevenge.Asheconjecturedrightlythatthe

kingwouldnotfailtoreconnoitreBlanche’sapartmentduringthe

night,itwashisobjecttosurprisethemtogether.Hetherefore

besoughtthegovernorofthecastleatPalermotoallowofhis

absencefromtheprison,ontheassuranceofhisreturnbefore

daybreak.Thegovernor,whowasdevotedtohisinterest,gavehis

permissionsomuchthemoreeasily,asbeingalreadyadvertised

thatSiffredihadprocuredhisliberty.Indeed,heevenwentso

farastosupplyhimwithahorseforhisjourneytoBelmonte.

Theconstableonhisarrivaltherefastenedhishorsetoatree.

Hethengotintotheparkbyalittlegateofwhichhehadthe

key,andwasluckyenoughtoslipintothecastlewithoutbeing

recognizedbyanyone.Onreachinghiswife’sapartmenthe

concealedhimselfintheantechamber,behindascreenplacedas

ifexpresslyforhisuse.Hisintentionwastoobservenarrowly

whatwasgoingforward,andtopresenthimselfonasuddenin

Blanche’schamberatthesoundofanyfootstepheshouldhear.

ThefirstobjecthebeheldwasNisa,takingleaveofhermistress

forthenight,andwithdrawingtoaclosetwheresheslept.

Siffredi’sdaughter,whohadbeenatnolosstofathomthe

meaningofherhusband’simprisonment,wasfullyconvincedthat

hewouldnotreturntoBelmontethatnight,althoughshehad

heardfromherfatheroftheking’sassurancethattheconstable

shouldsetoutimmediatelyafterhim.Aslittlecouldshedoubt

butEnriquezwouldavailhimselfoftheintervaltoseeand

conversewithherathispleasure.Withthisexpectationshe

awaitedtheprince’sarrival,toreproachhimforalineof

conductsopregnantwithfatalconsequencestoherself.Asshe

hadanticipated,averyshorttimeafterNisahadretiredthe

slidingpanelopened,andthekingthrewhimselfatthefeetof

hisbeloved.Madam,saidhe,condemnmenotwithoutahearing.It

istrueIhaveoccasionedtheconstable’simprisonment,butthen

considerthatitwastheonlymethodleftmeformy

justification.Attributethereforethatdesperatestratagemto

yourselfalone.Whydidyourefusetolistentomyexplanation

thismorning?Alas!To-morrowyourhusbandwillbeliberated,and

Ishallnolongerhaveanopportunityofaddressingyou.Hearken

tomethenforthelasttime.Ifthelossofyouhasembittered

theremainderofmydays,vouchsafemeatleastthemelancholy

satisfactionofconvincingyouthatIhavenotcalleddownthis

misfortuneonmyselfbymyowninconstancy.Ididindeedconfirm

thepledgeofmyhandtoConstance,butthenitwasunavoidable

inthesituationtowhichyourfather’spolicyhadreducedus.It

wasnecessarytoputthisimpositionontheprincessforyour

interestandformyown;tosecuretoyouyourcrown,andwithit

thehandandheartofyourdevotedlover.Ihadflatteredmyself

withtheprospectofsuccess.Measureswerealreadytakento

supersedethatengagement,butyouhavedestroyedthebright

illusionsofmyfancy;and,bydisposingofyourselftoo

precipitately,haveantedatedaneternityoftormentfortwo

hearts,whomamutualandperfectlovemighthaveconductedto

perpetualbliss.

Heconcludedthisexplanationwithsuchevidentmarksof

unfeignedagony,thatBlanchewasaffectedbyhiswords.Shehad

nolongeranyhesitationabouthisinnocence.Atfirstherjoy

wasunboundedattheconviction;butthenagainasenseoftheir

cruelcircumstancesgainedtheascendantoverhermind.Ah!my

honouredlord,saidshetotheprince,aftersuchadetermination

ofourdestinies,youonlyinflictanewpangbyinformingme

thatyouwerenottoblame.WhathaveIdone,wretchedasIam?

Mykeenresentmenthasbetrayedmeintoerror.Ifanciedmyself

castoff;andinthemomentofmyanger,acceptedthehandofthe

constable,whoseaddressesmyfatherpromoted.Butthecrimeis

allmyown,thoughthewoesaremutual.Alas!Inthevery

conjuncturewhenIaccusedyouofdeceivingme,itwasbymyown

act,toocredulouslyimpassionedasIwas,thatthetieswere

broken,whichIhadswornforevertomakeindissoluble.Take

yourrevenge,mylord,inyourturn.Indulgeyourhatredagainst

theungratefulBlanche….Forget….What!andisitin

mypowerthen,madam?interruptedEnriquezwithadejectedair:

howisitpossibletotearapassionfrommyheart,whicheven

yourinjusticehadnotthepowerofextinguishing?Yetitbecomes

necessaryforyoutomakethateffort,myliege,repliedthe

daughterofSiffredi,withadeepsigh….Andshallyoube

equaltothateffortyourself?repliedtheking.Iamnot

confidentwithmyselfformysuccess,answeredshe:butIshall

sparenopainsintheattainmentofmyobject.Ah!unfeelingfair

one,saidtheprince,youwilleasilybanishEnriquezfromyour

remembrance,sinceyoucancontemplatesuchapurposeso

steadfastly.Whitherthendoesyourimaginationlead?said

Blanche,inamoredecisivetone.DoyouflatteryourselfthatI

canpermitthecontinuanceofyourtenderassiduities?No,my

lord,banishthathopeforeverfromyourthoughts.IfIwasnot

bornforroyalty,neitherhasheavenformedmetobedegradedby

illicitaddresses.Myhusband,likeyourself,myliege,isallied

tothenoblehouseofAnjou.Thoughthecallofdutywereless

peremptory,inopposinganinsurmountableobstacletoyour

insidiousproposals,asenseofpridewouldhindermefrom

admittingthem.Iconjureyoutowithdraw:wemustmeetnomore.

Whatabarbaroussentence!exclaimedtheking.Ah!Blanche,isit

possiblethatyoushouldtreatmewithsomuchseverity?Isit

notenoughthentoweighmedown,thattheconstableshouldbein

possessionofyourcharms?Andyetyouwouldcutmeofffromthe

baresightofyou,theonlycomfortwhichremainstome!Forthat

veryreasonavoidmypresence,answeredSiffredi’sdaughter,not

withoutsometearsoftenderness.Thecontemplationofwhatwe

havedearlylovedisnolongerablessing,whenwehavelostall

hopeofthepossession.Adieu,mylord!Shunmyveryimage.You

owethatexertiontoyourownhonourandtomygoodname.Iclaim

italsoformyownpeaceofmind:fortodealsincerely,though

myvirtueshouldbesteadyenoughtocombatwiththesuggestions

ofmyheart,theveryremembranceofyouraffectionstirsupso

cruelaconflict,thatitisalmosttoomuchformyfrailnature

tosupporttheshock.

Herutteranceofthesewordswasattendedwithsoenergetican

action,astooversetthelightplacedonatablebehindher,and

itsfalllefttheroomindarkness.Blanchepickeditup.She

thenopenedthedooroftheantechamber,andwenttoNisa’s

closet,whowasnotyetgonetobed,forthepurposeoflighting

itagain.Shewasnowreturning,afterhavingaccomplishedher

errand.Theking,whowaswaitingforherimpatiently,nosooner

sawherapproach,thanheresumedhisardentpleawithher,to

allowofhisattentions.Attheprince’svoice,theconstable

rushedimpetuously,swordinhand,intotheroom,almostatthe

samemomentwithhisbride.AdvancinguptoEnriquezwithallthe

indignationwhichhisfurykindledwithinhim:Thisistoomuch,

tyrant,criedhe;flatternotyourselfthatIamcowardlyenough

tobearwiththisaffront,whichyouhaveofferedtomyhonour.

Ay!traitor,answeredtheking,standingonhisguard,layaside

thevainimaginationofbeingabletocompassyourpurposewith

impunity.Withthesemutualtaunts,theyenteredonaconflict,

tooviolenttobelongundecided.Theconstable,fearinglest

Siffrediandhisattendantsshouldberousedtoosoonbythe

piercingshrieksofBlanche,andshouldinterposebetweenhimand

hisrevenge,tooknocareofhimself.Hisfrenzyrobbedhimof

allskill.Hefencedsoheedlessly,astorunheadlongonhis

adversary’ssword.Theweaponenteredhisbodyuptothehilt.He

fell;andthekinginstantaneouslycheckedhishand.

ThedaughterofLeontio,touchedatherhusband’scondition,and

risingsuperiortohernaturalrepugnance,threwherselfonthe

ground,andwasanxioustoaffordhimeveryassistance.Butthat

ill-fatedbridegroomwastoodeeplyprejudicedagainsther,to

allowhimselftobesoftenedbytheevidencesshegaveofher

sorrowandherpity.Death,whosehandhefeltuponhim,could

notstiflethetransportsofhisjealousy.Inthesehislast

moments,noimagepresenteditselftohismindbuthisrival’s

success.Soinsufferablewasthatideatohim,that,collecting

togetherthelittlestrengthhehadleft,heraisedhissword,

whichhestillgraspedconvulsively,andplungeditdeepin

Blanche’sbosom.Die,saidhe,asheinflictedthefatalwound;

die,faithlessbride,sincethetiesofwedlockwerenotstrong

enoughtopreservetomethevowwhichyouhadswornuponthe

altar.Andasforyou,Enriquez,pursuedhe,triumphnottoo

loudlyonyourdestinies.Youarepreventedfromtakingadvantage

ofmyfrowardfortune;andIdiecontent.Scarcelydidthese

wordsquiveronhislips,whenhebreathedhislast.His

countenance,overcastasitwaswiththeshadesofdeath,had

stillsomethinginitoffiercenessandofterror.Thatof

Blanchepresentedaquitedifferentaspect.Thewoundshehad

receivedwasmortal.Shefellonthescarcelybreathingbodyof

herhusband:andthebloodoftheinnocentvictimflowedinthe

samestreamwiththatofhermurderer,whohadexecutedhiscruel

purposesosuddenly,thatthekingcouldnotpreventitfrom

takingeffect.

Thisill-fatedprinceutteredacryatthesightofBlancheas

shefell.Pierceddeeperthanherselfbythestabwhichdeprived

heroflife,hedidhisutmosttoaffordthesamerelieftoher

asshehadoffered,thoughatsofatalanexpense,toonewho

mighthaverewardedherbetter.Butsheaddressedhiminthese

words,whilethelastbreathquiveredonherlips:Mylord,your

assiduitiesarefruitless,Iamthevictim.Mercilessfate

demandsme,andIresignmyselftodeath.Maytheangerofheaven

beappeasedbythesacrifice,andtheprosperityofyourreignbe

confirmed.Asshewaswithdifficultyutteringtheselastwords,

Leontio,drawnthitherbythereverberationofhershrieks,came

intotheroom;and,thunderstruckatthedreadfulscenebefore

him,remainedfixedtothespotwherehestood.Blanche,without

noticinghispresence,wentonaddressingherselftotheking.

Farewell,prince,saidshe;cherishmymemorywiththetenderness

itdeserves.Myaffectionandmymisfortunesentitlemeatleast

tothat.Harbournoaversiontomyfather;heisinnocent.Bea

comforttohisremainingdays;assuagehisgrief;acknowledgehis

fidelity.Aboveall,convincehimofmyspotlessvirtue.With

thisIchargeyou,beforeeveryotherconsideration.Farewell,my

dearEnriquez….Iamdying.Receivemylastsigh.

Hereherwordswereinterceptedbytheapproachofdeath.For

sometimethekingmaintainedasullensilence.Atlengthhesaid

toSiffredi,whosesensesseemedtobelockedupinamortal

trance:Behold,Leontio;feedonthecontemplationofyourown

work.Inthistragicalevent,youmayruminateontheissueof

yourofficiouscares,andyouroverweeningzealformyservice.

Theoldmanreturnednoanswer,sodeeplywashepenetratedby

hisaffliction.Butwhereforedwellonthedescriptionof

circumstances,whenthepowersoflanguagemustsinkunderthe

weightofsuchacatastrophe?Sufficeittosay,thatthey

mutuallypouredforththeirsorrowsinthemostaffectingterms,

assoonastheirgriefallowedthemtogiveventtoitseffusions

inspeech.

Throughthewholecourseofhislife,thekingcherishedatender

recollectionofhismistress.Hecouldnotbringhimselftomarry

Constance.TheinfantDonPedrocombinedwiththatprincess,and

bytheirjointefforts,anobstinateattemptwasmadetocarry

thewillofRogerintoexecution;buttheywerecompelledinthe

endtogivewaytoPrinceEnriquez,whogainedtheascendancy

overallhisenemies.AsforSiffredi,themelancholyhe

contractedfromhavingbeenthecauseofdestructiontohis

dearestfriends,gavehimadisgusttotheworld,andmadea

longerabodeinhisnativecountryinsupportable.Heturnedhis

backonSicilyforever;and,comingoverintoSpainwithPortia,

hissurvivingdaughter,purchasedthismansion.Helivedhere

nearlyfifteenyearsafterthedeathofBlanche,andhadthe

consolation,beforehisowndeath,ofestablishingPortiainthe

world.ShemarriedDonJeromedeSilva,andIamtheonlyissue

ofthatmarriage.Such,pursuedthewidowofDonPedrode

Penares,isthestoryofmyfamily;afaithfulrecitalofthe

melancholyeventsrepresentedinthatpicture,whichwaspainted

byorderofmygrandfatherLeontio,asarecordtohisposterity

ofthefataladventureIhaverelated.

CH.V.—ThebehaviourofAuroradeGuzmanonherarrivalat

Salamanca.

ORTIZ,hercompanions,andmyself,afterhavingheardthistale,

withdrewtogetherfromthehall,whereweleftAurorawith

Elvira.Theretheylengthenedouttheremainderofthedayina

mutualintercourseofconfidence.Theywerenotlikelytobe

wearyofeachother:andonthefollowingmorning,whenwetook

ourleave,therewasasmuchtodotopartthem,asiftheyhad

beentwofriendsbroughtupintheclosesthabitsofconfidence

andaffection.

InduetimewereachedSalamancawithoutanyimpediment.Therewe

immediatelyengagedaready-furnishedhouse,andDameOrtiz,as

ithadbeenbeforeagreed,assumedthenameofDonnaKimenade

Guzman.Shehadplayedthepartofaduennatoolongnottobe

abletoshifthercharacteraccordingtocircumstances.One

morningshewentoutwithAurora,awaiting-maidandaman-servant,andbetookherselftoalodging-house,wherewehadbeen

informedthatPachecomostcommonlytookuphisabode.Sheasked

iftherewasanylodgingtobeletthere.Theanswerwasinthe

affirmative;andtheyshowedherintoaroominveryneat

condition,whichshehired.Shepaiddownearnesttothe

landlady,tellingherthatitwasforoneofhernephewswho.was

comingfromToledotofinishhisstudiesatSalamanca,andmight

beexpectedonthatveryday.

Theduennaandmymistress,afterhavingmadesureofthis

apartment,wentbackthewaytheycame,andthelovelyAurora,

withoutlossoftime,metamorphosedherselfintoaspruceyoung

spark.Sheconcealedherblackringletsunderabraidoflight-colouredhair,thebettertodisguiseherself;….

manufacturedhereyebrowstocorrespond,anddressedherselfup

insuchacostume,astolookforalltheworldasifhersex

wereofapiecewithherappearance.Herdeportmentwasfreeand

easy;sothat,withtheexceptionofherface,whichwassomewhat

moredelicatethanbecamethemanlycharacter,therewasnothing

toleadtoadiscoveryofhermasquerading.Thewaiting-womanwho

wastoofficiateaspage,gotintoherparaphernaliaatthesame

time,andwehadnoapprehensionrespectinghercompetencyto

performherpart.Therewasnodangerofherbeautytellingany

tales;andbesides,shecouldputonasbrazen-facedaswaggeras

themostimpudentdogintown.Afterdinner,ourtwoactresses,

findingthemselvesincuetomaketheirfirstappearanceonthe

stage,wherethescenewaslaidintheready-furnishedlodging,

tookmealongwiththem.Weallthreeplacedourselvesinthe

coach,andcarriedwithusallthebaggagewewerelikelytohave

occasionfor.

Thelandlady,BernardaRamirezbyname,welcomeduswithaglut

ofcivility,andledthewaytoourroom,wherewebegantomake

arrangementswithher.Weconcludedabargainforourboardby

themonth,whichsheundertookshouldbesuitabletoour

condition.Thenweaskedifshehadhercomplementofboarders.I

havenoneatallatpresent,answeredshe.Notthattherewould

beanywantofenough,ifIwasofthemindtotakeinallsorts

ofpeople:butyoungmenoffashionarethethingforme.I

expectoneofthatdescriptionthismorning:heiscominghither

fromMadridtocompletehiseducation.DonLewisPacheco!Butyou

musthaveheardofhimbeforenow.No,saidAurora,Ihaveno

acquaintancewhateverwiththegentleman;andsincewearetobe

inmatestogether,youwilldomeakindnessbylettingmea

littleintohischaracter.Pleaseyourhonour,repliedthe

landlady,leeringatthisoutsideofaman,hisfigureisas

takingasyourown;justthesamesortofmake,andaboutthe

samesize.Oh!howwellyouwilldotogether!ByStJames,though

Isayitwhoshouldnotsayit,Ishallhaveaboutmetwoofthe

prettiestyoungfellowsinallSpain.Well,butaboutDonLewis!

formymistresswasinafidgettoaskthegrandquestion.Of

course;….heiswellwiththeladiesinyourparts!Enough

of….ofloveaffairs….onhishands!Oh!donotyou

beafraidofthat,rejoinedtheoldlady;itisaforwardsprig

ofgallantry,takemywordforit.Hehasbuttoshewhimself

beforetheworks,andthecitadelsendstocapitulate.Amongthe

numberofhisconquests,hehasgotintothegoodgracesofa

lady,withasmuchyouthandbeautyashewillknowwhattodo

with.HernameisIsabella.Herfatherisanolddoctoroflaws.

Sheisoverheadandearsinlovewithhim;absolutelyoutofher

wits!Well,butdotellmenow,mydearlittlewoman,interrupted

Aurora,asifshewasreadytoburst,isheoutofhiswitstoo?

Heusedtobeveryfondofher,answeredBernardaRamirez,before

hewentlasttoMadrid:butwhetherheholdsinthesamemind

still,Iwillnotventuretosay;becauseonthesepointsheis

notaltogethertobetrusted.Heisapttoflirt,firstwithone

woman,andthenwithanother,justasallyouyoungdeceivers

takepleasureindoing.Youareallalike!

Thebonnywidowhadscarcelygottotheendofherharangue,

beforeweheardanoiseinthecourt.Onlookingoutatthe

window,behold!thereappearedtwoyoungmendismountingfrom

theirsteeds.Whoshoulditbe,buttheidenticalDonLewis

Pacheco,justarrivedfromMadridwithaservantbehindhim.The

oldladybrushedofftogoandusherhimin;whilemymistress

wasputtingherselfinorder,notwithoutsomepalpitationof

heart,toenactDonFelixtothebestofherconceptions.Without

waitingforanyformalities,inmarchedDonLewistoour

apartmentinhistravellingdress.Ihavejustbeeninformed,

saidhe,payinghisrespectstoAurora,thatayoungnoblemanof

Toledotakesuphisabodeinthishouse.MayItaketheliberty

ofexpressingmyjoyinthecircumstance,andhopingthatwemay

bebetteracquainted?Duringmymistress’sreplytothis

compliment,itseemedtomeasifPachecodidnotknowwhatto

makeofsosmock-facedayoungspark.Indeedhecouldnotrefrain

fromdeclaringamorethanordinaryadmirationofanairand

figuresoattractive.Afterabundanceofdiscourse,withevery

demonstrationofreciprocalgoodbreeding,DonLewiswithdrewto

theapartmentprovidedforhim.

Whilehewasgettinghisbootsoffandchanginghisdressand

linen,asortofapage,onthelook-outafterhimtodelivera

letter,metAurorabychanceonthestaircase.Herhemistookfor

DonLewis.Thinkinghehadfoundtherightownerforthistender

message,ofwhichhewastheMercury—Softly!myhonouredlord

andmaster,saidhe,thoughIhavenotthehonourofknowing

SignorPacheco,therecanbenooccasionforaskingwhetheryou

aretheman.Itisimpossibletobemistakenintheguess.No,my

friend,answeredmymistresswithamosthappypresenceofmind,

assuredlyyouarenotmistaken.Youacquityourselfofyour

embassiestoamarvel.IamDonLewisPacheco.Youmayretire!I

willfindanopportunityofsendingananswer.Thepagevanished,

andAurorashuttingherselfupwithherwaiting-maidandme,

openedtheletter,andreadtousasfollows:—“Ihavejust

heardofyourbeingatSalamanca.WithwhatjoydidIreceivethe

news!IthoughtIshouldhavegoneoutofmysenses.Butdoyou

loveIsabellaaswellasever?Losenotimeinassuringherthat

youarestillthesame.Ingoodtruth,shewillalmostexpire

withpleasurewhenoncesheisassuredofyourconstancy.”

Thisisamightypassionateepistle,saidAurora.Theheartthat

inditedithasbeencaughtinatrap.Thisladyisarivalofno

meancapacity.NopainsmustbesparedtoweanDonLewisfrom

her,andeventopreventanyfutureinterview.Theundertakingis

difficult,Iacknowledge,andyetthereseemsnoreasonto

despairoftheresult.Mymistress,takingherownhint,fell

intoafitofmusing;fromwhichhavingrecoveredassoonasshe

fellintoit,sheadded—Iwilllayawagertheyareat

daggersdrawninlessthantwenty-fourhours.Itsohappenedthat

Pacheco,afterashortreposeinhisapartment,cametolook

afterusinours,andenteredoncemoreintoconversationwith

Aurorabeforesupper.Mydapperlittleknight,saidhewitha

rakishair,Ifancythepoordevilsofhusbandsandloverswill

havenoreasontohugthemselvesonyourarrivalatSalamanca.

Youwillmaketheirheartsacheforthem.Asformyself,I

trembleforallmysnugarrangements.Itellyouwhat!answered

mymistresswithcongenialspirit,yourfearsarenotwithout

theirfoundation.DonFelixdeMendozaisratherformidable,so

takecarewhatyouareabout.Thisisnotmyfirstvisitinthis

country,theladieshereabouts,tomyknowledge,aremadeof

penetrablematerials.Aboutamonthagomywayhappenedtolie

throughthiscity.Ihaltedforeightdays,andyouaretoknow.

…butyoumustnotmentionit….thatIsetfiretothe

daughterofanolddoctoroflaws.

ItwasevidentenoughthatDonLewiswasdisturbedbythis

declaration.Mightonewithoutimpropriety,repliedhe,justask

thelady’sname?Whatdoyoumeanbyimpropriety?exclaimedthe

pretendedDonFelix.Whymakeanysecretaboutsuchamatteras

that?DoyouthinkmemoreofaJosephthanotheryoungnoblemen

ofmystanding?Haveabetteropinionofmyspirit.Besides,the

object,betweenourselves,isunworthyofanygreatreserve,she

isbutalittlemushroomofthelowerranks.Amanoffashion

neverquarrelswithhisconscienceaboutsuchobscure

gallantries,andeventhinksitanhonourconferredona

tradesman’swifeordaughterwhenheleavesherwithoutany.I

shallthereforeacquaintyouinplainterms,thatthenameofthe

doctor’sdaughterisIsabella.Andthedoctorhimself,

interruptedPachecoimpatiently.hepossiblymaybeSignorMarcia

delaLiana?Preciselyso,repliedmymistress.Hereisaletter

sentmejustnow.Readit,andthenyouwillseehowdeeplyyour

humbleservanthasdippedintohergoodgraces.DonLewisjust

casthiseyeuponthenote,andrecognizingthehandwriting,was

struckdumbwithastonishmentandvexation.Whatisthematter?

criedAurora,withanairofsurprise,keepingupthespiritof

herassumedcharacter.Youchangecolour!Godforgiveme,butyou

areapartyconcernedinthisyounglady.Ah!Plaguetakemy

officioustongueforhavingopenedmyaffairstoyouwithsomuch

frankness.

Iamverymuchobligedtoyouforitformyownpart,saidDon

Lewisinatransportmadeupofspiteandrage.Traitress!Jilt!

MydearDonFelix,howshallIeverrequiteyou!Youhave

restoredmetomysenseswhentheywerejustonthewingforan

eternalflight.Iwasticklingmyselfintoafool’sparadiseof

credulouslove.Butloveistoocoldatermtoexpressmy

extravagancies.IfanciedmyselfadoredbyIsabella.Thecreature

hadwormedherselfintomyheartbyfeigningtogivemeherown.

ButnowIknowherclearlyforacoquette,andassuchdespise

herasshedeserves.Yourfeelingsontheoccasiondoyou

infinitecredit,saidAurora,testifyingafriendlysympathyin

hisresentment.Aploddingpettifogger’sworthlessbroodmight

havegorgedtosurfeitontheloveofayoungnoblemanso

captivatingasyourself.Herficklenessisinexcusable.Sofar

fromtakinghersacrificeofyouingoodpart,itismy

determinationtopunishherbythekeenestcontempt.Asforme,

rejoinedPacheco,Ishallneverseteyesonheragain;andif

thatisnotrevenge,thedevilisinit.Youareintheright,

exclaimedourmasqueradingMendoza.Atthesametime,thatshe

mayfullyunderstandhowineffablywebothdisdainher,Ivote

forsittingdown,eachofus,andwritingherasarcastic

farewell.Theyshallbeenclosedinonecover,andserveasan

answertoherownletter.Butdonotletusproceedtothis

extremitytillyouhaveexaminedyourheart;itmaybeyouwill

repenthereafterofhavingbrokenoffwithIsabella.No,no,

interruptedDonLewis,Iamnotsuchafoolasthatcomesto;let

itbeabargain,andwewillmortifytheungratefulwretchasyou

propose.

Iimmediatelysentforpen,ink,andpaper,whentheysat

themselvesdownatoppositecornersofthetable,anddrewupa

mosttenderbillofindictmentagainstDoctorMurciadela

Llana’sdaughter.Pacheco,inparticular,wasatalossfor

languageforcibleenoughtoconveyhissentimentsinalltheir

acrimony;awaywentexordiumafterexordium,tothetearingand

maimingoffiveorsixfairsheets,beforethewordslooked

crookedenoughtopleasehisjealouseyes.Atlength,however,he

producedanepistlewhichcameupwithhismosttragical

conceptions.Itranthus—“Self-knowledgeisaleadingbranch

ofwisdom,mylittlephilosopher.Asacandidatefora

professor’schair,layasidethevanityoffancyingyourself

amiable.Itrequiresmeritofafardifferentcompasstofixmy

affections.Youhavenotenoughofthewomanaboutyoutoafford

meevenatemporaryamusement.Yetdonotdespair,youhavea

sphereofyourown,thebeggarlyservitorsinouruniversityhave

akeenappetite,butnoverydistinguishingpalate.”Somuchfor

thiselegantepistle!WhenAurorahadfinishedhers,whichrang

thechangesonsimilartopics,shesealedthem,wrappedthemup

together,andgivingmethepacket—There,GilBlas,saidshe,

takecarethatcomestoIsabella’shandsthisveryevening.You

comprehendme!addedshe,withaglancefromthecornerofher

eye,whichadmittedofnodoubtfulconstruction.Yes,mylord,

answeredI,yourcommandsshallbeexecutedtoatittle.

Ilostnotimeintakingmydeparture;nosoonerinthestreet

thanIsaidtomyself—Soho!MasterGilBlas,yourpartthen

isthatoftheintriguingfootmaninthiscomedy.Well!sobeit,

myfriend!shewthatyouhavewitandsenseenoughtotopitover

thefavouriteactoroftheday.SignorDonFelixthinksawinkas

goodasanod.Ahighcomplimenttothequicknessofyour

apprehension!Ishetheninanerror?No.Hishintisasclearas

daylight.DonLewis’sletteristodropitscompanionbytheway.

Alucidexpositionofadarkhieroglyphic,enoughtoshamethe

dulnessofthecommentators.Thesacrednessofasealcouldnever

standagainstthisbrightdiscovery.Outcamethesingleletter

ofPacheco,andawaywentItohuntafterDoctorMurcia’sabode.

Attheverythreshold,whomshouldImeetbutthelittlepagewho

hadbeenatourlodging.Comrade,saidI,donotyouhappento

livewiththegreatlawyer’sdaughter?Hisanswerwasinthe

affirmative.Iseebyyourcountenance,resumedI,thatyouknow

thewaysoftheworld.MayIbegthefavourofyoutoslipthis

littlememorandumintoyourmistress’shand?

ThelittlepageaskedmeonwhosebehalfIwasamessenger.The

nameofDonLewisPachecohadnosoonerescapedmylips,thanhe

toldme—Sincethatisthecase,followme.Ihaveordersto

shewyouup.Isabellawantstoconferwithyou.Iwasintroduced

atonceintoaprivateapartment,whereitwasnotlongbefore

theladyherselfmadeherappearance.Thebeautyofherfacewas

inexpressiblystriking;Idonotrecollecttohaveseenmore

lovelyfeatures.Hermannerwassomewhatmincingandinfantine,

yetforallthatithadbeenthirtygoodyearsatleastsinceshe

hadmewledandpukedinhernurse’sarms.Myfriend,saidshe

withanencouragingsmile,areyouonDonLewisPacheco’s

establishment?ItoldherIhadbeeninofficeforthesethree

weeks.WiththisIfiredoffmypaperpopgunagainstherpeace.

Shereaditovertwoorthreetimes,butifshehadrubbedher

eyestilldoomsdayshewouldhaveseennoclearer.Inpointof

fact,nothingcouldbemoreunexpectedthansocavalieran

answer.Upwenthereyestowardstheheavens,appealingtotheir

rivalluminaries.Theivoryfences*ofherprettymouthcommitted

alternatetrespassonhersoftandsufferinglips;andherwhole

physiognomyborewitnesstothepangsofherdistressedand

disappointedheart.Thencomingtoherselfalittle,and

recoveringherspeech—Myfriend,saidshe,hasDonLewis

takenleaveofhissenses?Tellme,ifyoucan,hismotiveforso

heroicanepistle.Ifheistiredofme,wellandgood,buthe

mighthavetakenhisleavelikeagentleman.

Madam,saidI,mymastermostassuredlyhasnotactedasIshould

haveactedinhisplace.Buthehasinsomesortbeencompelled

todoashehasdone.Ifyouwouldgivemeyourwordtokeepthe

secret,Icouldunravelthewholemystery.Youhaveitatonce,

interruptedshewitheagerness;dependonityoushallbebrought

intonoscrapebyme,thereforeexplainyourselfwithoutreserve.

Well,then!repliedI,thefactis,withoutparaphrase,

circumlocution,lossoftime,orperplexityofunderstanding,as

Ishalldistinctlystateintwoshortwords—Nothalfaminute

afterthereceiptofyourletter,therecameintoourhousea

lady,underaveilasimpenetrableasherpurposewasdark.She

inquiredforSignorPacheco,andtalkedwithhiminprivatefor

sometime.Atthecloseoftheconversation,Ioverheardher

saying—Yousweartomenevertoseehermore;butwemustnot

stopthere,tosetmyheartcompletelyatrestyoumustinstantly

writeherafarewellletterofmydictating.Youknowmyterms.

DonLewisdidasshedesired,thengivingtheresultintomy

custody—Acquaintyourself;saidhe,whereDoctorMurciadela

Lianalives,andcontrivetoadministerthislovepotiontohis

daughterIsabella.

Youseeplainly,madam,pursuedI,thatthisuncivilepistleisa

rival’shandiwork,andthatconsequentlymymasterisnotsomuch

toblameasheappears.Oh,heaven!exclaimedshe,heismoreso

thanIwasawareof.Hiswordsmighthavebeentheerrorofhis

hand,buthisinfidelityistheoffenceofhisheart.Faithless

man!Nowheisheldbyotherties….But,addedshe,

assuminganairofdisdain,lethimdevotehimselfunconstrained

tohisnewpassion;Ishallnevercrosshim.Tellhim,however,

thatheneednothaveinsultedme.Ishouldhaveleftthecourse

opentomyrival,withouthiswarningmefromthefield:forso

ficklealoverhasnotsoulenoughabouthimtopayforthe

degradationofsolicitinghisreturn.Withthissentimentshe

gavememydismissal,andretiredinawhirlwindofpassion

againstDonLewis.

Myexitwasconductedentirelytomyownsatisfaction,forI

conceivedthatwithduecultivationofmytalentImightintime

becomeaconsummatehypocriteandmostsuccessfulcheat.I

returnedhomeonthestrengthofit,whereIfoundmyworthy

masters,MendozaandPacheco,suppingtogether,andrattlingaway

asiftheyhadbeenplayfellowsfromtheircradles.Aurorasawat

once,bymyself-sufficientair,thathercommissionhadnotbeen

neglectedinmyhands.Hereyouareagainthen,GilBlas,said

she,giveusanaccountofyourembassy.Witandinventionwas

allIhadtotrustto,soItoldthemIhaddeliveredthepacket

intoIsabella’sownhands;who,afterhavingglancedoverthe

contentsofthetwoletters,sofarfromseemingdisconcerted,

burstintoafitoflaughter,asifshehadbeenmad,andsaid—

Uponmyword,ouryoungmenoffashionwriteinaprettystyle.

Itmustbeownedtheyaremuchmoreentertainingthanscribesof

plebeianrank.Itwasaverygoodwayofgettingoutofthe

scrape,exclaimedmymistress,shemustbeanarrantcoquette.

Formypart,saidDonLewis,IcannottraceafeatureofIsabella

inthisconduct.Hercharactermusthavebeencompletely

metamorphosedinmyabsence.Shestruckmetooinavery

differentlight,repliedAurora.Itmustbeallowedsomewomen

canassumeallmodesandfashionsatwill.Iwasonceinlove

withoneofthatdescription,andafinedancesheledme.Gil

Blascantellyouthewholestory!Shehadanairofpropriety

aboutherwhichmighthaveimposeduponawholesynodofold

maids.Itistrue,saidI,puttinginmyoar;itwasafaceto

playthedevilwithaswornbachelor,Icouldscarcelyhavebeen

proofagainstitmyself.

ThepersonatedMendozaandPachecoshoutedwithlaughteratmy

mannerofexpressingmyself;theoneforthefalsewitnessIbore

againstaculpritofmyowncreation;theotherlaughedsimplyat

thephraseinwhichmyanathemawascouched.Wewaitontalking

abouttheversatilityofwomen,andtheverdict,afterhearing

theevidence,allononeside,wasgivenagainstIsabella.A

convictedcoquette!andsentencepassedonheraccordingly.Don

LewismadeafreshvownevertoseehermoreandDonFelix,after

hisexample,sworetoholdherineternalabhorrence.Bydintof

thesemutualprotestationsasortoffriendshipwasestablished

onthespuroftheoccasion,andtheypromisedonbothsidesto

keep—nosecretsfromeachother.Thetimeaftersupper

passediningratiatingintercourse,andthetimeseemedshort

tilltheyretiredtotheirseparateapartments.IfollowedAurora

tohers,whereIgaveherafaithfulaccountofmyconversation

withtheDoctor’sdaughter,notforgettingthemosttrivial

circumstance.Shehadmuchadotohelpkissingmeforjoy.My

dearGilBlas,saidshe,Iamdelightedwithyourspirit.When

onehasthemisfortunetobeengagedinapassionnottobe

gratifiedbutbystratagems,whatanadvantageisittosecureon

therightsidealadofsoenterprisingageniusasyourself.

Courage,myfriend,wehavethrownarivalintothebackground,

whosepresenceinthescenemighthavemarredourcomedy.Sofar,

alliswell.Butasloversaresubjecttostrangevagaries,it

seemstomethatwemustmakeshortworkofit,andbringAurora

deGuzmanonthestageto-morrow.Theideametwithmyentire

approbation;soleavingSignorDonFelixwithhispage,I

withdrewtobedinanadjoiningcloset.

*Note:“Ivoryfences”:Shouldthisphraseappearfar-fetchedin

thepersonofGilBlas,itmayberecollected,thatthoughnot

muchofastudenthimself,hehadwaitedonstudents;andmight

havesuckedin,whilestandingbehindtheirchairs,alongwith

“fatesanddestinies,andsucholdsayings,thesistersthree,

andsuchbranchesoflearning,”thatexquisitelycharacteristic

Greekmetaphor—“ahedgeofteeth.”—TRANSLATOR.

CH.VI.—Aurora’sdevicestosecureDonLewisPacheco’s

affections.

THEtwonewfriendsmetassoonastheycamedowninthemorning.

Theceremoniesofthedaybeganwithreciprocalembraces,about

whichitwasimpossibleforAuroratobesqueamish,forthenDon

Felixmusthavedroppedthemaskaltogether.Theywentoutand

walkedabouttownarminarm,attendedbyChilindron,DonLewis’s

footman,andmyself.Weloiteredaboutthegatesofthe

university,lookingatsomepostingbillsandadvertisementsof

newpublications.Therewereagoodmanypeopleamusing

themselves,likeus,withreadingoverthecontentsofthese

placards.Amongtherestmyeyewascaughtbyalittlefellow,

whowasgivinghisopinionverylearnedlyontheworksexposedto

sale.Iobservedhimtobeheardwithprofoundattention,and

couldnothelpremarkinghowamplyhedeserveditinhisown

opinion.Hewasevidentlyacompletecoxcomb,ofanarrogantand

dictatorialstamp,thecommoncurseofyourgentryundersize.

ThisnewtranslationofHorace,saidhe,announcedheretothe

publicinlettersofayardlong,isaprosework,executedbyan

oldcollegeauthor.Thestudentshavetakenagreatfancytothe

book;soastocarryofffoureditions.Butnotacopyhasbeen

boughtbyanymanoftaste!Hiscriticismswerescarcelymore

candidonanyoftheotherbooks;hemauledthemeveryone

withoutmercy.Itwaseasyenoughtoseehewasanauthor!I

shouldnothavebeensorrytohavestaidouthisharangue,but

DonLewisandDonFelixwerenottobeleftinthelurch.Now

theytookaslittlepleasureinthisgentleman’sremarksasthey

feltinterestinthebookswhichhewasScaligerising,sothat

theytookaquietleaveofhimandtheuniversity.

Wereturnedhomeatdinner-time.Mymistresssatdownattable

withPacheco,anddexterouslyturnedtheconversationonher

privateconcerns.Myfather,saidshe,isayoungerbranchofthe

Mendozafamily,settledatToledo,andmymotherisownsisterto

DonnaKimenadeGuzman,whocametoSalamancasomedaysagoonan

affairofbusiness,withhernieceAurora,onlydaughterofDon

VincentdeGuzman,whompossiblyyoumightbeacquaintedwith.

No,answeredDonLewis,butIhaveoftenheardofhim,aswellas

ofyourcousinAurora.Isittruewhattheysayofher?Herwit

andbeautyarereportedtobeunrivalled.Asforwit,repliedDon

Felix,shecertainlyisnotwanting,forshehastakengreat

painstocultivatehermind.Butherbeautyisbynomeanstobe

boastedof;indeed,wearethoughttobeverymuchalike.Ifthat

isthecase,exclaimedPacheco,shecannotbebehindhandwithher

reputation.Yourfeaturesareregular,yourcomplexionalmosttoo

fineforaman;yourcousinmustbeanabsoluteenchantress.I

shouldliketoseeandconversewithher.Thatyoushall,ifI

haveanyinterestinthefamily,andthisverydaytoo,replied

thelittleProteusofaMendoza.Wewillgoandseemyauntafter

dinner.

Mymistresstookthefirstopportunityofchangingthetopic,and

conversingonindifferentsubjects.Intheafternoon,whilethe

twofriendsweregettingreadytogoandcallonDonnaKimena,I

playedthescout,andranbeforetopreparetheduennaforher

visitors.Buttherewasnotimetobelostonmyreturn,forDon

FelixwaswaitingformetoattendDonLewisandhimontheirway

tohisaunt’s.Nosoonerhadtheysteppedoverthethresholdthan

theywereencounteredbytheadroitoldlady,makingsignsto

themtowalkassoftlyaspossible.Hush!hush!saidshe,ina

lowvoice,youwillwakenmyniece.Eversinceyesterdayshehas

hadadreadfulheadache,butisjustnowalittlebetter;andthe

poorgirlhasbeentakingalittlesleepforthelastquarterof

anhour.Iamsorryforthisunluckyaccident,saidMendoza,I

wasinhopesweshouldhaveseenmycousin.Besides,Imeantto

haveintroducedmyfriendPacheco.Thereisnosuchgreathurry

onthataccount,answeredOrtizwithasignificantsmile,andif

thatisall,youmaydeferittillto-morrow.Thegentlemendid

nottroubletheoldladywithalongvisit,buttooktheirleave

assoonastheydecentlycould.

DonLewistookustoseeayounggentlemanofhisacquaintance,

bynameDonGabrieldePedros.Therewestayedtheremainderof

theday,andtookoursuppers.Abouttwoo’clockinthemorning

wesalliedforthonourreturnhome.Wehadgotabouthalf-way,

whenwestumbledagainstsomethingontheground,anddiscovered

twomenstretchedattheirlengthinthestreet.Weconcluded

theyhadfallenundertheknifeoftheassassin,andstoppedto

assistthem,ifyetwithinreachofassistance.Aswewere

lookingabouttoinformourselvesoftheircondition,asnearly

asthedarknessofthenightwouldallow,thepatrolecameup.

Theofficertookusatfirstforthemurderers,andorderedhis

peopletosurroundus;buthemendedhisopinionofusonthe

soundofourvoices,andbyfavourofadarklanternheldupto

thefacesofMendozaandPacheco.Hismyrmidons,byhis

direction,examinedthetwomen,whomourfancieshadpaintedas

intheagoniesofdeath,butitturnedouttobeafatlicentiate

withhisservant,bothofthemovertakenintheircups,andnot

dead,butdeaddrunk.Gentlemen,exclaimedoneoftheposse,this

jollyfellowisanacquaintanceofmine.What!doyounotknow

SignorGuyomerthelicentiate,headofouruniversity?Withall

hisimperfectionsheisagreatcharacter,amanofsuperior

genius.Heisasstaunchasahoundataphilosophicaldispute,

andhiswordsflowlikeagutterafterahail-storm.Hehasbut

threefoiblesinwhichheindulges;intoxication,litigation,and

fornication.HeisnowreturningfromsupperathisIsabella’s,

whence,themoreisthepity,thedrunkwasleadingthedrunk,

andtheybothfellintothekennel.Beforethegoodlicentiate

cametotheheadshipthishappenedcontinually.Thoughmanners

maketheman,honours,youperceive,donotalwaysmendthe

manners.Weleftthesedrunkardsincustodyofthepatrole,who

carriedthemsafehome,andbetookourselvestoourlodgingand

ourbeds.

DonFelixandDonLewiswerestirringaboutmid-day.Aurorade

Guzmanwasthefirsttopicoftheirconversation.GilBlas,said

mymistresstome,runtomyaunt,DonnaKimena,andaskifthere

isanyadmissionforSignorPachecoandmeto-day,wewanttosee

mycousin.OffIwenttoacquitmyselfofthiscommission,or

rathertoconcerttheplanofthecampaignwiththeduenna.We

hadnosoonerlaidourheadstogethertothepurposeintended,

thanIwasoncemoreattheelbowofthefalseMendoza.Sir,

quothI,yourcousinAurorahasgotaboutwonderfully.She

enjoinedmefromherownlipstoacquaintyou,thatyourvisit

couldnotbeotherwisethanhighlyacceptable,andDonnaKimena

desiredmetoassureSignorPacheco,thatanyfriendofyours

wouldalwaysmeetwithanhospitablereception.

TheselastwordsevidentlytickledDonLewis’sfancy.Mymistress

sawthatthebaitwasswallowed,andpreparedherselftohaulthe

preytoshore.Justbeforedinner,aservantmadehisappearance

fromSignoraKimena,andsaidtoDonFelix—Mylord,amanfrom

Toledohasbeeninquiringafteryou,andhasleftthisnoteat

youraunt’shouse.ThepretendedMendozaopenedit,andreadthe

contentsaloudtothefollowingeffect—“Ifyourfatherand

familystillliveinyourremembrance,andyouwishtohearof

theirconcerns,donotfail,onthereceiptofthis,tocallat

theBlackHorse,neartheuniversity.”Iamtoomuchinterested,

saidhe,intheseprofferedcommunications,nottosatisfymy

curiosityatonce.Withoutceremony,Pacheco,youmustexcuseme

forthepresent;ifIamnotbackagainherewithintwohours,

youmayfindyourwaybyyourselftomyaunt’s;Iwilljointhe

partyintheevening.YourecollectGilBlas’messagefromDonna

Kimena,thevisitisnomorethanwhatwillbeexpectedfromyou.

Afterhavingthrownoutthishint,helefttheroom,andordered

metofollowhim.

Itcanscarcelybenecessarytoapprizethereader,thatinstead

ofmarchingdowntotheBlackHorse,wefiledofftoourother

quarters.Themomentthatwegotwithindoors,Auroratoreoff

herartificialhair,washedthecharcoalfromhereyebrows,

resumedherfemaleattire,andshoneinallhernaturalcharms,a

lovelydark-complexionedgirl.Socompleteindeedhadbeenher

disguisethatAuroraandDonFelixcouldneverhavebeen

suspectedofidentity.Theladyseemedtohavetheadvantageof

thegentlemaneveninstature,thankstoagoodhighpairof

heels,towhichshewasnotalittleindebted.Itwasherfirst

businesstoheightenherpersonalgraceswithallthe

embellishmentsofart;afterwhichshelookedoutforDonLewis,

inastateofagitation,compoundedoffearandofhope.One

instantshefeltconfidentinherwitandbeauty;thenextshe

anticipatedthefailureofherattempt.Ortiz,onherpart,set

herbestfootforemost,andwasdeterminedtoplayuptomy

mistress.Asforme,Pachecowasnottoseemyknave’sfacetill

thelastactofthefarce,forwhichthegreatactorsarealways

reserved,tounraveltheintricacyoftheplot;soIwentout

immediatelyafterdinner.

Inshort,thepuppet-showwasalladjustedagainstDonLewis’s

arrival.Heexperiencedaverygraciousreceptionfromtheold

lady,inamendsforwhosetediousnesshewasblessedwithtwoor

threehoursofAurora’sdelightfulconversation.Whentheyhad

beentogetherlongenough,inpoppedI,withamessagetothe

enamouredspark.Mylord,mymasterDonFelixbegsyouten

thousandpardons,buthecannothavethepleasureofwaitingon

youherethisevening.HeiswiththreemenofToledo,fromwhom

hecannotpossiblygetaway.Oh!thewickedlittlerogue,

exclaimedDonnaKimena;assureasagunthenheisgoingtomake

anightofit.No,madam,repliedI,theyaredeeplyengagedin

veryseriousbusiness.Heisreallydistressedthathecannotpay

hisrespects,andcommissionedmetosayeverythingproperto

yourladyshipandDonnaAurora.Oh!Iwillhavenoneofhis

excuses,poutedoutmymistress,heknowsverywellthatIhave

beenindisposed,andmightshewsomeslightdegreeoffeelingfor

soneararelation.Asapunishment,heshallnotcomenearme

forthisfortnight.Nay,madam,interposedDonLewis,sucha

sentenceistoosevere.DonFelix’sfateisbuttoopitiable,in

havingbeendeprivedofyoursocietythisevening.

Theybandiedabouttheirfinespeechesontheselittletopicsof

gallantryforsometime,andthenPachecowithdrew.Thelovely

Aurorametamorphosedherselfinatwinkling,andresumedher

swashingoutside.Thegrassdidnotgrowunderherfeetwhileshe

wasrunningtotheotherlodging.Ihaveamillionofapologies

tomake,mydearfriend,saidshetoDonLewis,fornotgiving

youthemeetingatmyaunt’s;buttherewasnogettingridofthe

tiresomepeopleIwaswith.However,thereisonecomfort,you

havehadsomuchthemoreleisuretolookaboutyou,and

criticisemycousin’sbeauty.Well!andhowdoyoulikeher!She

isamostlovelycreature,answeredPacheco.Youwereinthe

righttoclaimaresemblancetoher.Ineversawmore

correspondentfeatures;theverysamecastofcountenance,the

eyesexactlyalike,themouthevidentlyafamilyfeature,andthe

toneofvoicescarcelytobedistinguished.Thelikeness,

however,goesnofurther,forAuroraistallerthanyou,sheis

brownandyouarefair,youareajollyfellow,shehasalittle

touchofthedemure;sothatyouarenotaltogetherthemaleand

femaleSosias.Asforgoodsense,continuedhe,ifanangelfrom

heavenweretowhisperwisdominoneear,andyourcousinher

mortalchit-chatintheother,Iamafraidtheangelmight

whistleforanaudience.Inaword,Auroraisall-accomplished.

SignorPachecoutteredtheselastwordswithsoearnestan

expression,thatDonFelixsaidwithasmile—Myfriend,I

adviseyoutostayawayfromDonnaKimena’s,itwillbemorefor

yourpeaceofmind.AuroradeGuzmanmaysetyourwitsa

wandering,andinspireapassion….

Ihavenoneedofseeingheragain,interruptedhe,tobecome

distractedlyenamouredofher.Iamsorryforyou,repliedthe

pretendedMendoza,foryouarenotamantobeseriouslycaught,

andmycousinisnottobemadeafoolof;takemywordforit.

Shewouldneverencouragealoverwhosedesignswereotherwise

thanhonourable.Otherwisethanhonourable!retortedDonLewis;

whocouldhavetheaudacitytoformsuchonaladyofherrank

andcharacter?Asforme,Ishouldesteemmyselfthehappiestof

mankind,couldshebeprevailedontofavourmyaddresses,and

linkherfatewithmine.

Sincethoseareyoursentiments,rejoinedDonFelix,youmay

commandmyservices.Yes,Iwillgoheartandhandwithyouin

thebusiness.AllmyinterestinAurorashallbeyours;andby

to-morrowmorningIwillcommenceanattackonmyaunt,whose

goodwordhasmoreinfluencethanyoumaythink.Pachecoreturned

histhankswiththebestairpossibletothisyounggo-between,

andwewereallagogatthepromisingappearanceofour

stratagem.Onthefollowingdaywefoundthemeansofheightening

thedramaticeffectbyentanglingtheplotalittlemore.My

mistress,afterhavingwaitedonDonnaKimena,asiftospeaka

goodwordinfavourofthesuitor,camebackwiththeresultof

theinterview.Ihavespokentomyaunt,saidshe,butitwasas

muchasIcoulddotomakeherhearyourproposalwithpatience.

Shewasprimedandloadedagainstyou.Somegood-naturedfriend

inthedarkhaspaintedyououtforareprobate;butItookyour

partwithsomelittlequickness,andatlengthsucceededin

vindicatingyourmoralcharacterfromtheattackithad

sustained.

Thisisnotall,continuedAurora.Youhadbetterenteronthe

subjectwithmyauntinmypresence,weshallbeabletomake

somethingofherbetweenus.Pachecowasallimpatienceto

insinuatehimselfintothegoodgracesofDonnaKimena;norwas

theopportunitydeferredbeyondthenextmorning.Ouramphibious

MendozaescortedhimintothepresenceofDameOrtiz,wheresuch

aconversationpassedbetweenthetrioasputfireandtowtothe

combustibleheartofDonLewis.Kimena,aveteranperformer,took

thecueofsympathyateveryexpressionoftenderness,and

promisedtheenamouredyouththatitshouldnotbeherfaultif

hispleawithherniecewasurgedinvain.Pachecothrewhimself

atthefeetofsogoodanaunt,andthankedherforallher

favours.InthisstageofthebusinessDonFelixaskedifhis

cousinwasup.No,repliedtheDuenna,sheisstillinbed,and

isnotlikelytobedown-stairswhileyoustay;butcallagain

afterdinner,andyoushallhaveat�te-�-t�tewithhertoyour

heart’scontent.Itiseasytoimaginethatsocomingona

proposalfromthedragonwhichwastoguardthisinaccessible

treasure,produceditsfullcomplementofjoyintheheartofDon

Lewis.Theremainderofthelongmorninghadnothingtodobutto

beswornat!HewentbacktohisownlodgingwithMendoza,who

wasnotalittleenrapturedtoobserve,withthescrutinizingeye

ofamistressunderthedisguiseofafriend,allthesymptomsof

anincurableamorousinfirmity.

TheirtonguesranonnoearthlysubjectbutAurora.Whentheyhad

donedinner,DonFelixsaidtoPacheco—Athoughthasjust

struckme.Itwouldnotbeamissformetogotomyaunt’safew

minutesbeforeyou;Iwillgettospeaktomycousininprivate,

andpry,ifitbepossible,intoeveryfoldandwindingofher

heart,asfarasyourinterestsareconcerned.DonLewisjust

chimedinwiththisidea,sothathesufferedhisfriendtoset

outfirst,anddidnotfollowhimtillanhourafterwards.My

mistressavailedherselfsodiligentlyoftheinterval,thatshe

wastrickedoutasaladyfromheeltopointbeforethearrival

ofherlover.Ibegpardon….saidthepoorabused

inamorato,afterhavingpaidhiscomplimentstoAuroraandthe

Duenna….ItookitforgrantedDonFelixwouldbehere.You

willseehiminafewseconds,answeredDonnaKimena,heis

writinginmycloset.Pachecowaseasilyputoffwiththeexcuse,

andfoundhistimepasscheerfullyinconversationwiththe

ladies.Andyet,notwithstandingthepresenceofallhissoul

helddear,itseemedverystrangethathourafterhourglided

awaybutnoMendozasteppedforthfromthecloset!Hecouldnot

helpremarking,thatthegentleman’scorrespondencemustbe

unusuallyvoluminous,whenAurora’sfeaturesallatonceassumed

thebroadercontourofalaugh,withadelightfullyprovoking

questiontoDonLewis—Isitpossiblethatlovecanbeso

blindasnottodetecttheglaringimpositionbywhichithas

beendeluded?Hasmyrealselfmadesofaintanimpressionon

yoursenses,thataflaxenperukeandapencilledeyebrowcould

carrythefarcetosuchaheightasthis?Butthemasqueradeis

overnow.Pacheco,continuedshe,resuminganairofgravity;you

aretolearnthatDonFelixdeMendozaandAuroradeGuzmanare

butoneandthesameperson.

Itwasnotenoughtodiscovertohimallthespringsand

contrivancesbywhichhehadbeenduped;sheconfessedthe

motivesoftenderpartialitythatledhertotheattempt,and

detailedtheprogressoftheplottothewindingupofthe

catastrophe.DonLewisscarcelyknewwhethertobemost

astonishedordelightedattherecital;atmymistress’sfeethe

thusutteredthetransportsofhisfondapplause—Ah!lovely

Aurora,canIbelievemyselfindeedthehappymortalonwhomyour

favourshavebeensolavished?WhatcanIdotomakeyouamends

forthem?Myaffection,werethislifeeternal,couldscarcely

paytheprice.Theseprettyspeecheswerefollowedbyathousand

othersofthesamequalityandtexture;afterwhichthelovers

descendedalittlenearertocommonsense,andbeganplanningthe

rationalandhumanmeansofarrivingattheaccomplishmentof

theirwishes.Itwasresolvedthatweshouldsetoutwithoutloss

oftimeforMadrid,wheremarriagewastodropthecurtainonthe

lastactofourcomedy.Thispurposewasexecutedinthespirit

ofimpatiencewhichconceivedit;sothatDonLewiswasunitedto

mymistressinafortnight,andthenuptialceremonieswere

gracedwiththeusualaccompanimentsofmusic,feasting,balls,

andrejoicings,withouteitherendorrespite.

CH.VII—GilBlasleaveshisplaceandgoesintotheserviceof

DonGonzalesPacheco.

THREEweeksaftermarriage,mymistressbethoughtherselfof

rewardingtheservicesIhadrenderedher.Shemademeapresent

ofahundredpistoles,tellingmeatthesametime—GilBlas,

mygoodfellow,itisnotthatImeantoturnyouaway,foryou

havemyfreeleavetostayhereaslongasyouplease;butmy

husbandhasanuncle,DonGonzalesPacheco,whowantsyouvery

muchforavalet-de-chambre.Ihavegivenyousoexcellenta

character,thathewouldletmehavenopeacetillIconsentedto

partwithyou.Heisaveryworthyoldnobleman,sothatyouwill

bequiteinyourelementinhisfamily.

IthankedAuroraforallherkindness;and,asmyoccupationwas

overabouther,Isomuchthemorereadilyacceptedthepostthat

offered,asitwasmerelyatransferfromonebranchofthe

Pachecostoanother.Onemorning,therefore,Icalledonthe

illustriousDonGonzaleswithamessagefromthebride.Heought

atleasttohaveover-slepthimself;forhewasinbedatnear

noon.WhenIwentintohischamber,apagehadjustbroughthima

basinofsoupwhichhewastaking.Thedotardcherishedhis

whiskers,orrathertorturedthemwithcurling-papers;thoughhis

eyesweresunkintheirsockets,hiscomplexionpale,andhis

visageemaciated.Thiswasoneofthoseoldcodgerswhohavebeen

alittlewhimsicalorsointheiryouth,andhavemadepoor

amendsfortheirfreedomsbythediscretionoftheirriperage.

Hisreceptionofmewasaffableenough,withanassurancethatif

myattachmenttohimkeptpacewithmyfidelitytohisniece,my

conditionshouldnotbeworsethanthatofmyfellows.Ipromised

toplacehiminmylatemistress’sshoes,andbecametheworking

partnerinanewfirm.

Anewfirmitundoubtedlywas,andheavenknowswehadastrange

headofthehouse.TheresurrectionofLazaruswasanordinary

eventcomparedtohisgettingup.Imaginetoyourselfalongbag

ofdrybones,amereskeleton,adissection,ananatomyofaman;

astudyinosteology!Asforthelegs,threeorfourpairof

stockingsoneovertheother,hadnoroomtomakeanyfigureupon

them.Inadditiontotheforegoing,thismummybeforedeathwas

asthmatic,andthereforeobligedtodividethelittlebreathhe

hadbetweenhiscoughandhisloquacity.Hebreakfastedon

chocolate.Onthestrengthofthatrefreshment,heventuredto

callforpen,ink,andpaper,andtowriteashortnote,whichhe

sealedandsenttoitsaddressbythepagewhohadadministered

thebroth.Butthishenceforthwillbeyouroffice,mygoodlad,

saidhe,asheturnedhishaggardeyesuponme;allmylittle

concernswillbeinyourhands,andespeciallythoseinwhich

DonnaEuphrasiatakesaninterest.Thatladyisanenchanting

youngcreature,withwhomIamdistractedlyinlove,andbywhom,

thoughIsayitwhoshouldnotsayit,Iammetwithallthe

mutualardourofinextinguishableandunutterablepassion.

Heavendefendus!thoughtIwithinmyself:goodnow!ifthisold

antidotetorapturecanfancyhimselfanobjectonwhichthefair

shouldwastetheirsweets,isitanywonderthatamongouryoung

folkseachfancieshimselftheAdonis,forwhomeveryVenus

pines?GilBlas,pursuedhewithachuckle,thisverydaywillI

takeyoutothisabodeofpleasure;itismyhouseofcallalmost

everyeveningforabitofsupper.Youwillbequitepetrifiedat

hermodestappearance,andtherigidproprietyofherbehaviour.

Farfromtakingafterthoselittlewantonvagrants,whoarehey-go-madafterstriplings,andgivethemselvesuptothe

fascinationsofexteriorappearance,shehasaproperinsight

intothings,staid,ripe,andjudicious:whatshewantsisthe

bon�fidespiritanddiscretionofaman;aloverwhohasserved

anapprenticeshiptohistrade,inpreferencetoalltheflashy

fellowsofthemodernschool.Thisisbutanepitomeofthe

panegyric,whichthenobledupeDonGonzalespronounceduponhis

mistress.Heburdenedhimselfwiththetaskofprovinghera

compendiumofallhumanperfection;butthelecturewaslittle

calculatedfortheconvictionofthehearer.Ihadattendedan

experimentalcourseamongtheactresses;andhadalwaysfound

thattheelderlycandidateshadbeenpluckedintheiramours.

Yet,asamatterofcourtesy,itwasimpossiblenottoputonthe

semblanceofgivingimplicitcredittomymaster’sveracity;I

evenaddedchivalrytocourtesy,andthrewdownmygloveon

Euphrasia’spenetrationandthecorrectnessofhertaste.My

impudencewentthelengthofasserting,thatitwasimpossible

forhertohaveselectedabetter-providedcrony.Thegrown-up

simpletonwasnotawarethatIwasfumigatinghisnostrilsatthe

expenseofhisaddledbrain;onthecontrary,hebristledatmy

praises;sotrueisit,thataflatterermayplaywhatgamehe

likesagainstthepigeonsofhighlife!Theyletyoulookover

theirhand,andthenwonderthatyoubeatthem.

Theoldcrawler,havingscribbledthroughhisbillet-doux,

restrainedtheluxurianceofastragglinghairortwowithhis

tweezers;thenbathedhiseyesinthenostrumofsomeperfumerto

givethemabrilliancywhichtheirnaturalgumwouldhave

eclipsed.Hisearsweretobepickedandwashed,andhishandsto

becleansedfromtheeffectsofhisotherablutions;andthe

laboursofthetoiletteweretobeclosed,bypencillingevery

remaininghairinthedisforesteddomainofhiswhiskers,

pericranium,andeyebrows.Noolddowager,withapursetobuya

secondhusband,evertookmorepainstoassureherselfbythe

cultivationofhercharms,thatthepersonandnotthefortune

shouldbetheobjectofattraction.Theassassinstaboftimewas

parriedbythequartandtierceofart.Justashehaddone

makinghimselfup,incameanotheroldfogramofhis

acquaintance,bynametheCountofAsumar.Thisgeniusmadeno

secretofhisgreylocks;leantuponastick,andseemedtoplume

himselfonhisvenerableageinsteadofwishingtoappearinthe

hey-dayofhisprime.SignorPacheco,saidheashecamein,Iam

cometotakepotluckwithyouto-day.Youarealwayswelcome,

count,rejoinedmymaster.Nosoonersaidthandone!they

embracedwithathousandgrimaces,tooktheirseatsoppositeto

oneanother,andbeganchattingtilldinnerwasserved.

Theirconversationturnedatfirstuponabull-feastwhichhad

takenplaceafewdaysbefore.Theytalkedaboutthecavaliers,

andwhoamongthemhaddisplayedmostdexterityandvigour;

whereupontheoldcount,likeanotherNestor,whompresentevents

furnishwithatopicofexpatiatingonthepast,saidwitha

deep-drawnsigh:Alas!wherewillyoumeetwithmennow-a-days,

fittoholdacandletomycontemporaries?Thepublicdiversions

areamerebauble,towhattheywerewhenIwasayoungman.I

couldnothelpchucklinginmysleeveatmygoodlordofAsumar’s

whim;forhedidnotstopatthehandyworkofhumaninvention.

Wouldyoubelieveit?Attable,whenthefruitwasbroughtin,at

thesightofsomeveryfinepeaches,thisungratefulconsumerof

theearth’sproduceexclaimed:Inmytime,thepeacheswereofa

muchlargersizethantheyarenow;butnaturesinkslowerand

lowerfromdaytoday.Ifthatisthecase,saidDonGonzales

withasneer,Adam’shothousefruitmusthavebeenofamost

unwieldycircumference.

TheCountofAsumarstaidtillquiteeveningwithmymaster,who

hadnosoonergotridofhim,thanhesalliedforthwithmein

histrain.WewenttoEuphrasia’s,wholivedwithinastone’s

throwofourhouse,andfoundherlodgedinastyleofthefirst

elegance.Shewastastefullydressed,andfortheyouthfulnessof

herairmighthavebeentakentobeinherteens,thoughthirty

bonnysummersatleasthadpouredtheirharvestsinherlap.She

hadoftenbeenreckonedpretty,andherwitwasexquisite.

Neitherwassheoneofyourbrazen-facedjilts,withnothingbut

flimsybalderdashintheirtalk,andalibertineforwardnessin

theirmanners:herewasmodestyofcarriageaswellaspropriety

ofdiscourse;andshethrewoutherlittlesalliesinthemost

exquisitemanner,withoutseemingtoaspirebeyondnaturalgood

sense.Ohheaven!saidI,isitpossiblethatacreatureofso

virtuousastampbynatureshouldhaveabandonedherselfto

viciouscoursesforalivelihood?Ihadtakenitforgranted,

thatallwomenoflightcharactercarriedthemarkofthebeast

upontheirforeheads.Itwasasurprisethereforetoseesuch

apparentrectitudeofconduct;neitherdiditoccurtomethat

thesehacksforallcustomerscouldgoatanypace,andassume

thepolishofwell-bredsociety,toimposeupontheirculliesof

thehigherranks.Whatifalivelypetulanceshouldbetheorder

oftheday?theyarelivelyandpetulant.Shouldmodestytakeits

turnintheroundoffashion,nothingcanexceedtheiroutward

showofprudentanddelicatereserve.Theyplaythecomedyof

loveinmanymasks;andaretheprude,thecoquette,orthe

virago,astheyfallinwiththequiz,thecoxcomb,orthebully.

DonGonzaleswasagentlemanandamanoftaste;hecouldnot

stomachthosebeautieswhocallaspadeaspade.Suchwerenot

forhismarket;theritesofVenusmustbeconsummatedinthe

templeofVesta.Euphrasiahadgotupherpartaccordingly,and

provedbyherperformancethatthereisnocomedylikethatof

reallife.Ileftmymaster,likeanotherNumawithhisEgeria,

andwentdownintoahall,wherewhomshouldfortunethrowinmy

waybutanoldabigail,whomIhadformerlyknownasmaid-of-all-worktoanactress?Therecognitionwasmutual.So!wellmetonce

more,SignorGilBlas,saidshe.Thenyouhaveturnedoff

Arsenia,justasIhavepartedwithConstance.Yes,truly,

answeredI,itisalongwhileagosinceIwentaway,and

exchangedherserviceforthatofaverydifferentlady.Neither

thetheatrenorthepeopleaboutitaretomytaste.Igave

myselfmyowndischarge,withoutcondescendingtotheslightest

explanationwithArsenia.Youwereperfectlyintheright,

repliedthenew-foundabigail,calledBeatrice.Thatwaspretty

muchmymethodofproceedingwithConstance.Onemorningearly,I

gaveinmyaccountswithaverysulkyair;shetookthemfromme

inmoodysilence,andwepartedinasortofwell-breddudgeon.

Iamquitedelighted,saidI,thatwehavemetagain,wherewe

neednotbeashamedofouremployers.DonnaEuphrasialooksfor

alltheworldlikeawomanoffashion,andIammuchdeceivedif

shehasnotreputationtoo.Youaretooclear-sightedtobe

deceived,answeredtheoldappendagetosin.Sheisofagood

family;andasforhertemper,Icanassureyouitis

unparalleledforevennessandsweetness.Noneofyourtermagant

mistresses,nevertobepleased,butalwaysgrumblingand

scoldingabouteverything,makingthehouseringwiththeir

clack,andfrettingpoorservantstoathread,whoseplaces,in

short,areahelluponearth!Ihavenotinallthistimeheard

herraisehervoiceonanyoccasionwhatever.Whenthingshappen

nottobedoneexactlyinherway,shesetsthemtorights

withoutanyanger,nordoesanyofthatbadlanguageescapeher

lips,ofwhichsomehigh-spiritedladiesaresoliberal.My

master,too,rejoinedI,isverymildinhisdisposition;the

verymilkofhumankindness;andinthisrespectweare,between

ourselves,muchbetteroffthanwhenwelivedamongthe

actresses.Athousandtimesbetter,repliedBeatrice;mylife

usedtobeallbustleanddistraction;butthisplaceisan

actualhermitage.Notacreaturedarkensourdoorsbutthis

excellentDonGonzales.Youwillbemyonlyhelpmateinmy

solitude,andmylotisbuttoogreatlyblessed.Forthislong

timehaveIcherishedanaffectionforyou:andmanyatimeand

ofthaveIbegrudgedthatLaurathefelicityofengrossingyou

forhersweetheart;butintheendIhopetobeevenwithher.If

Icannotboastofyouthandbeautylikehers,tobalancethe

account,Idetestcoquetry,andhavealltheconstancyaswellas

affectionofaturtle-dove.

AshonestBeatricewasoneofthoseladieswhoareobligedto

hawktheirwares,andcheapenthemselvesforwantofcheapeners

inthemarket,Iwashappilyshieldedfromanytemptationto

breakthecommandments.Nevertheless,itmightnothavebeen

prudenttoletherseeinwhatcontempthercharmswereheld;for

whichreasonIforcedmynaturalpolitenesssofar,astotalkto

herinastylenottocutoffallhopeofmymoreserious

advances.Iflatteredmyselfthen,thatIhadfoundfavourinthe

eyesofanolddressertothestage:butpridewasdestinedto

haveafall,evenonsohumbleanoccasion.Thedomestic

tricksterdidnotsharpenherallurements,fromanylongingfor

myprettyperson;herdesigninsubduingmetothelittlesoft

godwastoenlistmeforthepurposesofhermistress,towhom

shehadswornsopassiveanobedience,thatshewouldhavesold

hereternalselftotheoldchapman,whofirstsetupthetrade

ofsin,ratherthanhavedisappointedherslightestwishes.My

vainconceitwassufficientlyevidentontheverynextmorning,

whenIcarriedanOvidianletterfrommymastertoEuphrasia.The

ladygavemeanaffable

reception,andmadeathousandprettyspeeches,echoedfromthe

practisedlipsofherchambermaid.Theexpressionofmy

countenancewaspeculiarlyinterestingtotheone:butthat

withinwhichpassethshewwastheflatteringthemeoftheother.

Accordingtotheiraccount,thefortunateDonGonzaleshadpicked

upatreasure.Inshort,mypraisesransohigh,thatIbeganto

thinkworseofmyselfthanIhadeverdoneinthewholecourseof

mylife.Theirmotivewassufficientlyobvious;butIwas

determinedtoplayatdiamondcutdiamond.Thesimperofa

simpletonisnobadcounterminetotheattackofasharper.These

ladiesunderfavourwereofthelatterdescription,andtheysoon

begantoopentheirbatteries.

Harkyou,GilBlas,saidEuphrasia,fortunedeclaresinyour

favourifyoudonotbalkher.Letusputourheadstogether,my

goodfriend.DonGonzalesisold,andagooddealshakenin

constitution;sothataverylittlefever,inthehandsofavery

greatdoctor,wouldcarryhimtoabetterplace.Letustaketime

bytheforelock,andplyourartssobusilyastosecuretome

thelargestsliceofhiseffects.IfIprosper,youshallnot

starve,Ipromiseyou;andmybarewordisabettersecuritythan

allthedeedsandconveyancesofallthelawyersinMadrid.

Madam,answeredI,youhavebuttocommandme.Givememy

commissiononyourmuster-roll,andyoushallhavenoreasonto

complaineitherofmycowardiceorcontumacy.Sobeit,then,

repliedshe.Youmustwatchyourmaster,andbringmeanaccount

ofallhiscomingsandgoings.Whenyouarechattingtogetherin

hismorefamiliarmoments,neverfailtoleadtheconversationon

thesubjectofoursex;andthenbyanartful,butseemingly

naturaltransition,takeoccasiontosayallthegoodyoucan

inventofme.RingEuphrasiainhisearstillallthehousere-echoes.Iwouldcounselyoubesidestokeepawaryeyeonall

thatpassesinthePachecofamily.Ifyoucatchanyrelationof

DonGonzalessneakingabouthim,withadesignonthe

inheritance,bringmewordinstantly:thatisallyouhavetodo,

andtrustmeforsinking,burning,anddestroyinghiminless

thannotime.Ihaveferretedouttheweaksideofallyour

master’srelationslongago;theyareeachofthemtobemade

ridiculousinsomeshapeorother;sothatthenephewsand

cousins,aftersittingtomefortheirportraits,arealready

turnedwiththeirfacestothewall.

Itwasevidentbytheseinstructions,withmanymoretothesame

timeandtune,thatEuphrasiawasoneofthoseladieswhose

partialitiesallleantothesideofelderlyinamoratos,with

moremoneythanwit.Notlongbefore,DonGonzales,whocould

refusenothingtothetenderpassion,hadsoldanestate;andshe

pocketedthecash.Notadaypassed,butshegotsomelittle

personalremembranceoutofhim;andbesidesallthis,acorner

ofhiswillwastheultimateobjectofherspeculation.I

affectedtoengagehandoverheadintheirinfamousplot;andif

Imustconfessallwithoutmentalreservation,itwasalmosta

mootpoint,onmyreturnhome,onwhichsideofthecauseI

shouldtakeabrief.Therewasoneitheraprofitable

alternative;whethertojoininfleecingmymaster,ortomerit

hisgratitudebyrescuinghimfromtheplunderers.Conscience,

however,seemedtohavesomelittleconcerninthedetermination;

itwasquiteridiculoustochoosetheby-pathofvillanywhen

therewasabettertolltobetakenonthehighwayofhonesty.

Besides,Euphrasiahaddealttoomuchingenerals;an

arithmeticaldefinitionofsomuchforsomuchhasmoremeaning

initthan“allthewealthoftheIndies;”andtothisshrewd

reflection,perhaps,wasowingmyuncorruptedprobity.ThusdidI

resolvetosignalizemyzealintheserviceofDonGonzales,in

thepersuasionthatifIwasluckyenoughtodisgustthe

worshipperbybefoulinghisidol,itwouldturntoverygood

account.Onastatementofdebtorandcreditorbetweentheright

andthewrongsideoftheaction,themoneybalancewasvisibly

infavourofvirtue,nottomentionthedelightsofafairand

irreproachablecharacter.

Ifvicesooftenassumesthesemblanceofitscontrary,why

shouldnothypocrisynowandthenchangesidesforvariety?I

heldmyselfuptoEuphrasiaforathoroughswindler.Shewasdupe

enoughtobelievethatIwasincessantlytalkingofhertomy

master;andthereuponIwoveatissueoffripperyandfalsehood,

whichimposedonherforsterlingtruth.Shehadsocompletely

givenherselfuptomyinsinuations,astobelievemeher

convert,herdisciple,herconfederate.Thebetterstilltocarry

onthisfrauduponfraud,IaffectedtolanguishforBeatrice;

andshe,inecstacyatheragetoseeayoungfellowather

skirts,didnotmuchtroubleherselfaboutmysincerity,ifIdid

butplaymypartwithvigourandaddress.Whenwewereinthe

presenceofourprincesses,mymasterintheparlourandmyself

inthekitchen,theeffectwasthatoftwodifferentpictures,

butofthesameschool.DonGonzales,dryastouchwood,withall

itsinflammability,andnothingbutitssmother,seemedafitter

subjectforextremeunctionthanforamorousparley;whilemy

littlepet,inproportiontotheviolenceofmyflame,niggled,

nudged,toyed,andromped,likeaschool-girlinvacation;andno

wondersheknewherlessonsopat,fortheoldcoquettehadbeen

upwardsoffortyyearsintheform.Shehadfinishedherstudies

undercertainprofessorsofgallantry,whoseartofpleasing

becomesthemorecriticalbypractice;tilltheydieunderthe

accumulatedexperienceoftwoorthreegenerations.

Itwasnotenoughformetogoeveryeveningwithmymasterto

Euphrasia’s:itwassometimesmyloungeeveninday-time.Butlet

mepopmyheadinatwhathourIwould,thatforbiddencreature

manwasneverthere,norevenawomanofanydescription,that

mightnotbejustaseasilyexpressedasunderstood.Therewas

nottheleastloop-holeforaparamour!acircumstancenota

littleperplexingtoonewhocouldnotreadilybelieve,thatso

prettyabaleofgoodscouldsubmittoastrictmonopoly,bysuch

adealerasDonGonzales.Thisopinionundoubtedlywasformedon

anearacquaintancewithfemalenature,aswillbeapparentin

thesequel;forthefairEuphrasia,whilewaitingformymaster’s

translation,fortifiedherselfwithpatienceinthearmsofa

lover,withsomelittlefellow-feelingforthefrailtiesofher

age.

OnemorningIwascarrying,accordingtocustom,anotetothis

peerlesspatternofperfection.Therecertainlywere,orIwas

notstandingintheroom,thefeetofamanensconcedbehindthe

tapestry.OutslunkI,justasifIhadnoeyesinmyhead;yet,

thoughsuchadiscoverywasnothingbutwhatmighthavebeen

expected,neitherwasthepipertobepaidoutofmypocket,my

feelingswereagooddealstaggeredatthebreachoffaith.Ah!

traitress,exclaimedIwithvirtuousindignation,abandoned

Euphrasia!Notsatisfiedtohumbugasillyoldgentlemanwitha

taleoflove,yousharehispropertyinyourpersonwithanother,

andaddprofligacytodissimulation!Buttobesure,onafter-thoughts,Iwasbutagreenhorn,whenItookonsoforsucha

trivialoccurrence!Itwasratherasubjectformirththanfor

moralreflection,andperfectlyjustifiedbythewayofthe

world;thelanguid,embargoedcommerceofmymaster’samorous

momentshadneedbeflippedbyatradeinsomemoremerchantable

wares.Atalleventsitwouldhavebeenbettertohaveheldmy

tongue,thantohavelaidholdonsuchanopportunityofplaying

thefaithfulservant.Butinsteadoftemperingmyzealwith

discretion,nothingwouldservetheturnbuttakingupthewrongs

ofDonGonzalesinthespiritofchivalry.Onthishigh

principle,ImadeacircumstantialreportofwhatIhadseen,

withtheadditionoftheattemptmadebyEuphrasiatoseduceme

frommygoodfaith.Igaveitinherownwordswithouttheleast

reserve,andputhiminthewayofknowingallthatwastobe

knownofhismistress.Hewasstruckallinaheapbymy

intelligence,andafaintflashofindignationonhisfadedcheek

seemedtogivesecurity,thatthelady’sinfidelitywouldnotgo

unpunished.Enough,GilBlas,saidhe,Iaminfinitelyobligedby

yourattachmenttomyservice,andyourprobityisvery

acceptabletome.IwillgotoEuphrasiathisverymoment.Iwill

overwhelmherwithreproaches,andbreakatoncewiththe

ungratefulcreature.Withthesewords,heactuallybenthisway

tothesubjectofhisanger;anddispensedwithmyattendance,

fromthekindmotiveofsparingmetheawkwardnesswhichmy

presenceduringtheirexplanationwouldhaveoccasionedtomy

feelings.

Ilongedformymaster’sreturnwithalltheimpatienceofan

interestedperson.Therecouldnotbeadoubtbutthatwithhis

stronggroundsofcomplaint,hewouldreturncompletely

disentangledfromthesnaresofhisnymph.InthisthoughtI

extolledandmagnifiedmyselfformygooddeed.Whatcouldbe

moreflatteringthanthethanksofthekindredwhowerenaturally

toinheritafterDonGonzales,whentheyshouldbeinformedthat

theirrelativewasnolongerthepuppetofafiguredanceso

hostiletotheirinterests?Itwasnottobesupposedbutthat

suchafriendwouldberemembered,andthatmymeritswouldat

lastbedistinguishedfromthoseofotherserving-men,whoare

usuallymoredisposedtoencouragetheirmastersin

licentiousness,thantodrawthemofftohabitsofdecency.Iwas

alwaysofanaspiringtemper,andthoughttohavepassedforthe

JosephortheScipiooftheservants’hall;butsofascinatingan

ideawasonlytobeindulgedforanhourortwo.Thefounderof

myfortunescamehome.Myfriend,saidhe,Ihavehadavery

sharpbrushwithEuphrasia.Sheinsistsonitthatyouhave

trumpedupacock-and-bullstory.Iftheirwordistobetaken,

youarenobetterthananimpostor,ahirelinginthepayofmy

nephews,forwhosesakeyouhavesetallyourwitsatworkto

bringaboutaquarrelbetweenherandme.Ihaveseenthereal

tears,madeofwater,rundowninfloodsfromherpoordeareyes.

ShehasvowedtomeassolemnlyasifIhadbeenherconfessor,

thatshenevermadeanyoverturestoyouinherlife,andthat

shedoesnotknowwhatmanis.Beatrice,whoseemsasimple,

innocentsortofgirl,isexactlyinthesamestory,sothatI

couldnotbutbelievethemandbepacified,whetherIwouldor

no.

Howthen,sir?interruptedI,inaccentsofundissembledsorrow,

doyouquestionmysincerity?Doyoudistrust….No,mygood

lad,interruptedheagaininhisturn,Iwilldoyouample

justice.Idonotsuspectyouofbeinginleaguewithmynephews.

Iamsatisfiedthatallyouhavedonehasbeenformygood,and

ownmyselfmuchobligedtoyouforit;butappearancesareaptto

mislead,sothatperhapsyoudidnotseeinrealitywhatyoutook

itintoyourheadthatyousaw;andinthatcase,onlyconsider

yourselfhowoffensiveyourchargemustbetoEuphrasia.Yetlet

thatbeasitwill,sheisacreaturewhomIcannothelploving

inspiteofmysenses;sothatthesacrificeshedemandsmustbe

made,andthatsacrificeisnolessthanyourdismission.I

lamentitverymuch,mypoordearGilBlas,andifthatwillbe

anysatisfactiontoyou,myconsentwaswrungfrommemost

unwillingly;buttherewasnosayingnay.Withonething,

however,youmaycomfortyourself,youshallnotbesentaway

withemptypockets.Nay,more,Imeantoturnyouovertoalady

ofmyacquaintance,whereyouwilllivetoyourliking.

Iwasnotalittlemortifiedtofindallmynobleactsand

motivesendinmyownconfusion.Igavealeft-handedblessingto

Euphrasia,andweptovertheweaknessofDonGonzales,tobeso

foolishlyinfatuatedbyher.Thekindheartedoldgentlemanfelt

withinhimselfthatinturningmeadriftattheperemptorydemand

ofhismistress,hewasnotperformingthemostmanlyactionof

hislife.Forthisreason,asaset-offagainsthishen-pecked

cowardice,andthatImightthemoreeasilyswallowthisbitter

dose,hegavemefiftyducats,andtookmewithhimnextmorning

totheMarchionessofChaves,tellingthatladybeforemyface,

thatIwasayoungmanofunexceptionablygoodcharacter,and

veryhighinhisgoodgraces,butthatascertainfamilyreasons

preventedhimfromcontinuingmeonhisownestablishment,he

shouldesteemitasafavourifshewouldtakemeonhers.After

suchanintroduction,Iwasretainedatonceasherappendage,

andfoundmyself,Iscarcelyknewhow,establishedinanother

household.

CH.VIII.—TheMarchionessofChaves:hercharacter,andthat

ofhercompany.

THEMarchionessofChaveswasawidowoffive-and-thirty,tall,

handsome,andwell-proportioned.Sheenjoyedanincomeoften

thousandducats,withouttheincumbranceofanursery.Inever

metwithaladyoffewerwords,noroneofamoresolemnaspect.

Yetthisexteriordidnotpreventherfrombeingsetupasthe

cleverestwomaninallMadrid.Hergreatassemblies,attendedby

peopleofthefirstquality,andbymenofletterswhomadea

coffeehouseofherapartments,contributedperhapsmorethan

anythingshesaidtogiveherthereputationshehadacquired.

Butthisisapointonwhichitisnotmyprovincetodecide.I

haveonlytorelate,asherhistorian,thathernamecarriedwith

ittheideaofsuperiorgenius,andthatherhousewascalled,to

distinguishitfromtheordinarysocietiesintown,The

FashionableInstitutionforLiterature,Taste,andScience.

Inpointoffact,notadaypassed,buttherewerereadings

there,sometimesofdramaticpieces,andsometimesinother

branchesofpoetry.Butthesubjectswerealwaysselectedfrom

thegravermuses;witandhumourwereheldinthemostsovereign

contempt.Comedy,howeverspirited;anovel,howeverpointedin

itssatireoringeniousinitsfable,suchlightproductionsas

theseweretreatedasweakeffortsofthebrainwithoutthe

slightestclaimtopatronage;whereasonthecontrarythemost

microscopicalworkintheseriousstyle,whetherode,pastoral,

orsonnet,wastrumpetedtotheskiesasthemostillustrious

effortofalearnedandpoeticalage.Itnotunfrequentlyfell

out,thatthepublicreversedthedecreesofthischanceryfor

genius:nay,theyhadsometimesthegrossillbreedingtohiss

theverypieceswhichhadbeensanctionedbythiscourtof

criticism.

Iwaschiefmanageroftheestablishment,andmyofficeconsisted

ingettingthedrawing-roomreadytoreceivethecompany,in

settingthechairsinorderforthegentlemen,andthesofasfor

theladies:afterwhichItookmystationonthelanding-placeto

bawloutthenamesofthevisitorsastheycameupstairs,and

usherthemintothecircle.Thefirstday,anoldpieceoffamily

furniture,whowasstationedbymysideintheantechamber,gave

metheirdescriptionwithsomehumour,afterIhadshownthem

intotheroom.HisnamewasAndrewMolina.Hehadagooddealof

mother’swit,withaflowingveinofsatire,muchgravityof

sarcasm,andahappyknackathittingoffcharacters.Thefirst

cornerwasabishop.Iroaredouthislordship’sname,andas

soonashewasgonein,mynomenclatortoldme—Thatprelate

isaverycuriousgentleman.Hehassomelittleinfluenceat

court;butwantstopersuadetheworldthathehasagreatdeal.

Hepresseshisserviceoneverysoulhecomesnear,andthen

leavesthemcompletelyinthelurch.Onedayhemetwitha

gentlemaninthepresence-chamberwhobowedtohim.Helaidhold

ofhim,andsqueezinghishand,assuredhim,withaninundation

ofcivilities,thathewasaltogetherdevotedtohislordship.

Forgoodness’sake,donotspareme;Ishallnotdieinmybed

withouthavingfirstfoundanopportunityofmakingyoumy

debtor.Thegentlemanreturnedhisthankswithallbecoming

expressionsofgratitude,andwhentheywereatsomedistance

fromoneanother,theobsequiouschurchmansaidtooneofhis

attendantsinwaiting—Ioughttoknowthatman;Ihavesome

floating,indistinctideaofhavingseenhimsomewhere.

Nextafterthebishop,camethesonofagrandee.WhenIhad

introducedhimintomylady’sroom—Thisnobleman,saidMolina,

isalsoanoriginalinhisway.Youaretotakenoticethathe

oftenpaysavisit,fortheexpresspurposeoftalkingoversome

urgentbusinesswiththefriendonwhomhecalls,andgoesaway

againwithoutoncethinkingonthetopichecamesolelyto

discuss.But,addedmyshowmanonthesightoftwoladies,here

areDonnaAngeladePenafielandDonnaMargarettadeMontalvan.

Thispairhavenotafeatureofresemblancetoeachother.Donna

Margarettapridesherselfonherphilosophicalacquirements;she

willholdherheadashighasthemostlearnedheadamongthe

doctorsofSalamanca,norwillthewisdomofherconceitever

giveupthepointtothebestreasonstheycanrender.Asfor

DonnaAngela,shedoesnotaffectthelearnedlady,thoughshe

hastakennounsuccessfulpainsintheimprovementofhermind.

Hermanneroftalkingisrationalandproper,herideasarenovel

andingenious,expressedinpolite,significant,andnatural

terms.Thislatterportraitisdelightful,saidItoMolina;but

theother,inmyopinion,isscarcelytobetoleratedinthe

softersex.Notoverbearableindeed!repliedhewithasneer:

eveninmenitdoesbutexposethemtothelashofsatire.The

goodmarchionessherself,ourhonouredlady,continuedhe,she

toohasasortofaphilosophicallooseness.Therewillbefine

choppingoflogicthereto-day!Godgrantthemysteriesof

religionmaynotbeinvadedbythesedisputants.

Ashewasfinishingthislastsentence,incameawitheredbitof

mortality,withagraveandcrabbedlook.Mycompanionshewedhim

nomercy.Thisfellow,saidhe,isoneofthosepompous,

unbendingspiritswhothinktopassformenofprofoundgenius,

underfavourofafewcommonplacesextractedoutofSeneca;yet

theyarebutshallowcoxcombswhenonecomestoexaminethem

narrowly.Thenfollowedinthetrainasprucefigure,with

tolerablepersonandaddress,tosaynothingofatroubledair

andmanner,whichalwayssupposesaplentifulstockofself-sufficiency.I

inquiredwhothiswas.Adramaticpoet!said

Molina.Hehasmanufacturedanhundredthousandversesinhis

time,whichneverbroughthiminthevalueofagroat;butasa

set-offagainsthismetricalfailure,hehasfeatheredhisnest

verywarmlybysixlinesofhumbleprose:youwillwonderbywhat

magictouchafortunecouldbemade

AndsoIdid;butaconfoundednoiseuponthestaircaseputverse

andprosecompletelyoutofmyhead.Goodagain!exclaimedmy

informer:hereisthelicentiateCampanario.Heishisown

harbingerbeforeeverhemakeshisappearance.Hesetsoutfrom

theverystreetdoorinacontinuedvolleyofconversation,and

youhearhowthealarmiskeptuptillhemakeshisretreat.In

goodsooth,thevaultedroofre-echoedwiththeorganofthe

thunderinglicentiate,whoatlengthexhibitedthecaseinwhich

thepipeswerecontained.Hebroughtabachelorofhis

acquaintancebywayofaccompaniment,andtherewasnotasotto

vocepassageduringthewholevisit.SignorCampanario,saidIto

Molina,istoallappearanceamanofveryfineconversation.

Yes,repliedmysageinstructor,thegentlemanhashislucky

hits,andasortofquaintnessthatmightpassforhumour;he

doesverywellinamixedcompany.Buttheworstofitis,that

incessanttalkingisoneofhismostpardonableerrors.Heisa

littletooapttoborrowfromhimself;andasthosewhoare

behindthescenesarenottobedazzledbythetinselofthe

property-man,soweknowhowtoseparateacertainvolubilityand

buffooneryofmannerfromsterlingwitandsense.Thegreater

partofhisgoodthingswouldbethoughtverybadones,if

submitted,withouttheirconcomitantgrimaces,totheordealofa

jestbook.

Othergroupspassedbeforeus,andMolinatouchedthemwithhis

wand.Themarchionesstoocameinforamagicrapoverthe

knuckles.Ourladypatroness,saidhe,isbetterthanmightbe

expectedforafemalephilosopher.Sheisnotdaintyinher

likings;andbatingawhimortwo,itisnohardmattertogive

hersatisfaction,Witsandwomenofqualityseldomapproachso

neartheatmosphereofgoodsense;andforpassion,shescarcely

knowswhatitis.Playandgallantryareequallyinherblack

books:dearconversationisherfirstandsoledelight.Tolead

suchalifewouldbelittlebetterthanpenancetothecommonrun

ofladies.Molina’scharacterofmymistressestablishedherat

onceinmygoodgraces.Andyet,inthecourseofafewdays,I

couldnothelpsuspectingthat,thoughnotdaintyinherlikings,

sheknewwhatpassionwas,andthatafoulcopyofgallantry

delightedhermorethanthefairestconversation.

Onemorning,duringthemysteriesofthetoilette,there

presentedhimselftomynoticealittlefellowofforty,

forbiddinginhisaspect,morefilthyifpossiblethanPedrode

Moyathebookworm,andverginginnomarketablemeasuretowards

deformity.Hetoldmehewantedtospeakwithmylady

marchioness.Onwhosebusiness?quothI.Onmyown,quothhe,

somewhatsnappishly.TellherIamthegentleman;….she

willunderstandyou;….aboutwhomshewastalkingyesterday

withDonnaAnnadeVelasco.Iwentbeforehimintomylady’s

apartment,andgaveinhisname.Themarchionessallatonce

shriekedouthersatisfaction,andorderedmetoshowhimin.It

wasnotcourtesyenoughtopointtoachair,andbidhimsit

down:buttheattendants,forsooth,herownmaidsabouther

personweretowithdraw,sothatthelittlehunchback,with

betterluckthanfallstothelotofmanyatallerman,hadthe

fieldentirelytohimself,aslordparamount.Asforthegirls

andmyself,wecouldnothelptitteringalittleatthis

uncouthlyconcertedduet,whichlastednearlyanhour:whenmy

patronessdismissedhislittlelordship,withsuchaprofusionof

farewellsandGod-be-with-you’s,assufficientlyevincedher

thankfulnessfortheentertainmentshehadreceived.

Theconversationhad,infact,beensoedifying,thatinthe

afternoonsheseizedaprivateopportunityofwhisperinginmy

ear—GilBlas,whentheshortgentlemancomesagain,youmay

shewhimupthebackstairs;thereisnoneedofparadinghim

alongalineofstaringservants.IdidasIwasordered.When

thisepitomeofhumanityknockedatthedoor,andthathourwas

nofurtheroffthanthenextmorning,wethreadedallthebye

passagestotheplaceofassignation.Iplayedthesamemodest

parttwoorthreetimesintheveryinnocenceofmysoul,without

themostdistantguessthatthematerialsystemcouldformany

partoftheirphilosophy.Butthathound-likesnuffatanill

construction,withwhichthedevilhasarmedthenosesofthe

mostcharitable,putmeonthescentofaverywhimsicalgame,

andIconcludedeitherthatthemarchionesshadanoddtaste,or

thatcrookbackcourtedherasproxytoabetterman.

Faithandtroth,thoughtI,withalltheimpertinenceofahasty

opinion,ifmymistressreallylikesahandsomefellowbehindthe

curtain,alliswell;Iforgiveherhersins:butifsheisstark

madforsuchamonkeyasthis,tosaythetruth,therewillbe

littlemercyforheronmaleorfemaletongues.Buthowfoully

didIdefamemyhonouredpatroness!Thegeniusofmagichad

perchedherselfuponthelittleconjurer’sprotuberantshoulder;

andhisskillhavingbeenpuffedofftothemarchioness,whowas

justtherightfoodforsuchjugglersandtheirtricks,sheheld

privateconferenceswithhim.Underhistuitionshewasto

commandwealthandtreasure,tobuildcastlesintheair,to

removefromplacetoplaceinaninstant,torevealfuture

events,totellwhatisdoneinfarcountries,tocallthedead

outoftheirgraves,andterrifytheworldwithmanymiracles.

Seriously,andtogivehimhisdeserts,thescoundrellivedon

thefollyofthepublic;andithasbeenconfidentlyasserted,

thatladiesoffashionhavenotinallagesandcountriesbeen

exemptfromthecredulityoftheirinferiors.

CH.IX.—AnincidentthatpartedGilBlasandtheMarchioness

ofChaves.Thesubsequentdestinationoftheformer.

FORsixmonthsIlivedwiththeMarchionessofChaves,and,asit

mustbeadmitted,onthefatoftheland.Butfate,whothrusts

footmenaswellasheroesintotheworld,withherselftiedabout

theirnecks,gavemeajogtobegone,andsworethatIshould

staynolongerinthatfamilyorinMadrid.Theadfsventureby

whichthisdecreewasannouncedshallbethesubjectofthe

ensuingnarrative.

Inmymistress’sfemalesquadtherewasanymphnamedPortia.To

saynothingofheryouthandbeauty,itwashermeekdemeanour

andgoodreputethatcaptivatedme,whohadyettolearnthat

nonebutthebravedeservesthefair.Themarchioness’s

secretary,asproudasaprimeminister,andasjealousasthe

GrandTurk,wascaughtinthesametrapasmyself.Nosoonerdid

hecastanunluckysquintatmyadvances,than,withoutwaiting

toseehowPortiamightchancetofancythem,hedeterminedpell-melltohaveatiltwithme.Toforwardthisghostlyenterprise,

hegavemeanappointmentonemorninginaplacesadlyimpervious

toallseasonableinterruption.Yetashewasalittlego-by-the-ground,scarcelyuptomyshoulders,andapparentlyoffeeble

frame,hedidnotlooklikeaverydangerousantagonist;soaway

Iwentwithsomelittlecouragetotheappointedspot.Thinking

tocomeoffwithflyingcolours,Ianticipatedtheeffectofmy

braveryontheheartofPortia;butasitturnedout,Iwas

gatheringmylaurelsbeforetheyhadbudded.Thelittle

secretary,whohadbeenpractisingfortwoorthreeyearsatthe

fencing-school,disarmedmelikeaverybaby,andholdingthe

pointofhissworduptomythroat,Preparethyself,saidhe,to

balancethineaccountswiththisworld,andopenacorrespondence

withthenext,orgivemethyrascallywordtoleavethe

MarchionessofChavesthisveryday,andnevermoretothinkof

myPortia.Igavehimmyrascallyword,andwashonestenoughnot

tothinkofbreakingit.Therewasanawkwardnessinshewingmy

facebeforetheservantsofthefamily,afterhavingbeen

worsted;andespeciallybeforethehighandmightyprincesswho

hadbeenthethemeofourtournament.Ionlyreturnedhometoget

togethermybaggageandwages,andonthatverydaysetoff

towardsToledo,withapurseprettywelllined,andaknapsackat

mybackwithmywardrobeandmoveables.Thoughmyrascallyword

wasnotgiventoabandonthepurlieusofMadrid,Iconsideredit

asamatterofdelicacytodisappear,atleastforafewseasons,

MyresolutionwastomakethetourofSpain,andtohaltfirstat

onetownandthenatanother.Myreadymoney,thoughtI,will

carrymeagoodway;Ishallnotcallaboutmeveryprodigally.

Whenmystockisexhausted,Icanbutgointoserviceagain.A

ladofmyversatilitywillfindplacesinplenty,wheneveritmay

beconvenienttolookoutforthem.

ItwasparticularlymywishtoseeToledo:andIgotthither

afterthreedays’journey.Myquarterswereatarespectable

houseofentertainment,whereIwastakenforagentlemanofsome

figure,underfavourofmybestclothes,inwhichIdidnotfail

tobedizenmyself.Withthepick-toothcarelessnessofalounger,

theaffectationofapuppy,andthepertnessofawit,it

remainedwithmetodictatethetermsofanarrangementwithsome

veryprettywomenwhoinfestedthatneighbourhood;but,asahint

hadbeengivenmethatthepocketwasthehighroadtotheirgood

graces,myamorousenthusiasmwasalittleflattered,and,asit

wasnopartofmyplantodomesticatemyselfinanyoneplace,

afterhavingseenallthelionsatToledo,Istartedonemorning

withthedawn,andtooktheroadtoCuen�a,intendingtogoto

Arragon.OntheseconddayIwentintoaninnwhichstdopento

receivemebytheroadside.JustasIwasbeginningtorecruit

thecarnaldepartmentofmynature,incameapartybelongingto

theHolyBrotherhood.Thesegentlemencalledforwine,andsetin

foradrinkingbout.Overtheircupstheywereconningthe

descriptionofayoungman,whomtheyhadorderstoarrest.The

spark,saidoneofthem,isnotabovethree-and-twenty:behas

longblackhair,iswellgrown,withanaquilinenose,andrides

abayhorse.

Iheardtheirtalkwithoutseemingtobealistener;and,in

fact,didnottroublemyheadmuchaboutit.Theyremainedin

theirquarters,andIpursuedmyjourney.ScarcelyhadIgonea

quarterofamile,beforeImetayounggentlemanonhorseback,

aspersonableasneedbe,andmountedasdescribedbythe

officers.Faithandtruth,thoughtIwithinmyself,thisisthe

veryidenticalman.Blackhairandanaquilinenose!Onecannot

helpdoingagoodofficewhenitcomesinone’sway.Sir,saidI,

givemeleavetoaskyouwhetheryouhavenotsomedisagreeable

businessonyourhands?Theyoungman,withoutreturningany

answer,lookedatmefromheadtofoot,andseemedstartledatmy

question.Iassuredhimitwasnotwantoncuriositythatinduced

metoaddresshim.HewassatisfiedofthatwhenIrelatedallI

hadheardattheinn.Myunknownbenefactor,saidhe,Iwillnot

denytoyouthatIhavereasontobelievemyselfactuallythe

personofwhomtheofficersareinquest:thereforeIshalltake

anotherroadtoavoidthem.Inmyopinion,answeredI,itwould

bebettertolookoutforaspotwhereyoumaybeinsafety,and

undershelterfromastormwhichisbrewing,andwillsoonpour

downuponourheads.Withoutlossoftimewediscoveredandmade

forarowoftrees,forminganaturalavenue,whichledustothe

footofamountain,wherewefoundanhermitage.

Therewasalargeanddeepgrottowhichtimehadwornawayinto

theheartoftherock;andthehandofmanhadaddedarudefront

builtofpebblesandshell-work,coveredalloverwithturf:The

adjacentgroundswerestrewedwithathousandsortsofflowers,

whichscatteredtheirperfume;andonewaspleasedtoseehardby

thegrotto,asmallfissureinthemountain,whenceaspring

rippledwithatinklingnoise,andpoureditspellucidstream

alongthemeadow.Attheentranceofthissolitaryabodestooda

venerablehermit,seeminglyweigheddownwithyears.Hesupported

himselfwithonehanduponastaff,andheldarosaryoflarge

beadswiththeother,composedofatleasttwentyrows.Hishead

wasalmostlostinabrownwoollencapwithlongears;andhis

beard,whiterthansnow,sweptdowninagedmajestytohiswaist.

Weadvancedtowardshim.Father,saidI,isityourpleasureto

allowusshelterfromthethreateningstorm?Comein,mysons,

repliedthehermit,afterexaminingmeattentively;this

hermitageisatyourservice,tooccupyitduringpleasure.As

foryourhorse,addedhe,pointingtothecourt-yardofhis

mansion,hewillbeverywelloffthere.Mycompaniondisposedof

theanimalaccordingly,andwefollowedtheoldmanintothe

grotto.

Nosoonerhadwegotinthanaheavyrainfell,withaterrific

stormofthunderandlightning.Thehermitthrewhimselfuponhis

kneesbeforeaconsecratedimage,fastenedtothewall,andwe

followedtheexampleofourhost.Ourdevotionsceasedwiththe

subsidingofthestorm;butastheraincontinued,thoughwith

diminishedviolence,andnightwasnotfardistant,theoldman

saidtous—Mysons,youhadbetternotpursueyourjourneyin

suchweather,unlessyouraffairsarepressing.Weansweredwith

oneconsent,thatwehadnothingtohinderusfromstayingthere,

butthefearofincommodinghim;butthatiftherewasroomfor

usinthehermitage,wewouldthankhimforanight’slodging.

Youmayhaveitwithoutinconvenience,answeredthehermit,at

leasttheinconveniencewillbeallyourown.Youraccommodation

willberough,andyourmealsuchasareclusehastooffer.

Withthiscordialwelcometoahomelyboard,theholypersonage

seatedusatalittletable,andsetbeforeusafewvegetables,

acrustofbread,andapitcherofwater.Mysons,resumedhe,

youbeholdmyordinaryfare,buttodayIwillmakeafeastin

hospitalitytowardsyou.Sosaying,hefetchedalittlecheese

andsomenuts,whichhethrewdownuponthetable.Theyoungman,

whoseappetitewasnotkeen,feltbutlittletemptedbyhis

entertainment.Iperceive,saidthehermittohim,thatyouare

accustomedtobettertablesthanmine,orratherthatsensuality

hasvitiatedyournaturalrelish.Ihavebeenintheworldlike

you.Theutmostingenuityoftheculinaryart,whetherto

stimulateorsoothethepalate,wasexertedbyturnsformy

gratification,ButsinceIhavelivedinsolitude,mytastehas

recovereditssimplicity.Now,vegetables,fruit,andmilk,are

mygreatestdainties;inaword,Ikeepanantediluviantable.

Whilehewasharanguingafterthisfashion,theyoungmanfell

intoadeepmusing.Thehermitwasawareofhisinattention.My

son,saidhe,somethingweighsuponyourspirits.Maywenotbe

informedwhatdisturbsyou?Openyourhearttome.Curiosityis

notmymotiveforquestioningyou,butcharity,andadesireto

beofservice.Iamatatimeoflifetogiveadvice,andyou

perhapsareundercircumstancestostandinneedofit.Yes,

father,repliedthegentlemanwithasigh,Idoubtlessdostand

inneedofit,andwillfollowyours,sinceyouaresogoodasto

offerit;Icannotsupposethereisanyriskinunbosomingmyself

toamanlikeyou.No,myson,saidtheoldman,youhavenothing

tofear,itisundermorestatelyroofsthatconfidencesare

betrayed.Onthisassurancethecavalierbeganhisstory.

CH.X.—ThehistoryofDonAlphonsoandthefairSeraphina.

IWILLattemptnodisguisefromyou,myvenerablefriend,nor

fromthisgentlemanwhocompletesmyaudience.Afterthe

generosityofhisconducttowardsme,Ishouldbeinthewrongto

distrusthim.Youshallknowmymisfortunesfromtheirbeginning.

IamanativeofMadrid,andcameintotheworldmysteriously.An

officeroftheGermanguard,BaronSteinbachbyname,returning

homeoneevening,espiedabundleoffairlinenatthefootof

hisstaircase.Hetookitupandcarriedittohiswife’s

apartment,whereitturnedouttobeanew-borninfant,wrapped

upinveryhandsomeswaddling-clothes,withanotecontainingan

assurancethatitbelongedtopersonsofcondition,whowould

comeforwardandownitatsomefutureperiod;andthefurther

informationthatithadbeenbaptizedbythenameofAlphonso.I

wasthatunfortunatestrangerintheworld,andthisisallthat

Iknowaboutmyself.Whetherhonourorprofligacywasthemotive

oftheexposure,thehelplesschildwasequallythevictim;

whethermyunhappymotherwantedtogetridofme,toconcealan

habitualcourseofscandalousamours,orwhethershehadmadea

singledeviationfromthepathofvirtuewithafaithlesslover,

andhadbeenobligedtoprotectherfameattheexpenseofnature

andthematernalfeelings.

Howeverthismightbe,theBaronandhiswifeweretouchedbymy

destitutecondition,andresolved,astheyhadnochildrenof

theirown,tobringmeupunderthenameofDonAlphonso.AsI

grewinyearsandstaturetheirattachmenttomestrengthened.My

manners,genteelbeforestrangersandaffectionatetowardsthem,

werethethemeoftheirfondestpanegyric.Inshort,theyloved

measifIhadbeentheirown.Mastersofeverydescriptionwere

providedforme.Myeducationbecametheirleadingobject;and

farfromwaitingimpatientlytillmyparentsshouldcomeforward,

theyseemed,onthecontrary,towishthatmybirthmightalways

remainamystery.AssoonastheBaronthoughtmeoldenoughto

beararms,hesentmeintotheservice.Withmyensign’s

commission,agenteelandsuitableequipmentwasprovidedforme;

and,themoreeffectuallytoanimatemeinthecareerofglory,

mypatronpointedoutthatthepathofhonourwasopentoevery

adventurer,andthattherenownofawarriorwouldbesomuchthe

morecreditabletome,asIshouldoweittononebutmyself.At

thesametimehelaidopentomethecircumstancesofmybirth,

whichhehadhithertoconcealed.AsIhadpassedforhissonin

Madrid,andhadactuallythoughtmyselfso,itmustbeownedthat

thiscommunicationgavemesomeuneasiness.Icouldnotthen,nor

canIevennow,thinkofitwithoutasenseofshame.In

proportionastheinnatefeelingsofagentlemanbeartestimony

tothebirthofone,amImortifiedatbeingrejectedand

renouncedbytheunnaturalauthorsofmybeing.

IwenttoserveintheLowCountries,butpeacewasconcludedin

ashorttime;andSpainfindingherselfwithoutassailants,

thoughnotwithoutassassins,IreturnedtoMadrid,whereI

receivedfreshmarksofaffectionfromtheBaronandhiswife.

Rathermorethantwomonthsaftermyreturn,alittlepagecame

intomyroomonemorning,andpresentedmewithanotecouched

nearlyinthefollowingterms—”Iamneitheruglynor

crooked,andyetyouoftenseemeatmywindowwithoutthe

tributeofaglance.Thisconductislittleinunisonwiththe

spiritofyourphysiognomy,andsofarstingsmetorevengethat

Iwillmakeyoulovemeifpossible.”

Ontheperusalofthisepistle,therecouldbenodoubtbutit

camefromawidow,bynameLeonora,wholivedoppositeourhouse,

andhadthecharacterofaverygreatcoquette.HereuponI

examinedmylittlemessenger,whohadamindtobeonthereserve

atfirst,butaducatinhandopenedthefloodgatesofhis

intelligence.Heeventookchargeofananswertohismistress,

confessingmyguilt,andintimatingthatitspunishmentwasfar

advanced.

Iwasnotinsensibletoaconquestevenofthiskind.Forthe

restofthedayhomeandmywindow-seatwerethegrand

attraction;andtheladyseemedtohavefalleninlovewithher

window-seattoo.Imadesignals.Shereturnedthem;andonthe

verynextdaysentmewordbyherlittleMercury,thatifIwould

beinthestreetonthefollowingnightbetweenelevenand

twelve,Imightconversewithheratawindowontheground-floor.ThoughIdidnotfeelmyselfverymuchcaptivatedbyso

comingonakindofwidow,itwasimpossiblenottosendsuchan

answerasifIwas;andasortofamorouscuriositymademeas

impatientasifIhadreallybeeninlove.Intheduskofthe

evening,IwentsaunteringupanddownthePradotillthehourof

assignation.BeforeIcouldgettomyappointment,amanmounted

on.afinehorsealightednearme,andcomingupwitha

peremptoryair—Sir,saidhe,arenotyouthesonofBaron

Steinbach?Iansweredintheaffirmative.Youaretheperson

then,resumedhe,whoweretomeetLeonoraatherwindowto-night?Ihaveseenherlettersandyouranswers,herpagehasput

themintomyhands,andIhavefollowedyouthiseveningfrom

yourownhousehither,toletyouknowyouhavearivalwhose

prideisnotalittlewoundedatacompetitionwithyourselfin

anaffairoftheheart.Itwouldbeunnecessarytosaymore.We

areinaretiredplace,letusthereforedraw,unless,toavoid

thechastisementinstoreforyou,youwillgivemeyourwordto

breakoffallconnectionwithLeonora.Sacrificeinmyfavourall

yourhopesandinterest,oryourlifemustbetheforfeit.Ithad

beenbetter,saidI,tohaveensuredmygenerositybygood

manners,thantoextortmycompliancebymenaces.Imighthave

grantedtoyourrequestwhatImustrefusetothisinsolent

demand.

Well,then,resumedhe,tyinguphishorseandpreparingforthe

encounter,letussettleourdisputelikemen.Littlecoulda

personofmyconditionhavestomachedthedebasementofa

request,toamanofyourquality.Nineoutofteninmyrank

would,undersuchcircumstances,havetakentheirrevengeon

termsoflesshonourbutmoresafety.Ifeltmyselfexasperated

atthislastinsinuation,sothat,seeinghehadalreadydrawn

hissword,minedidnotlingerinthescabbard.Wefellonone

anotherwithsomuchfury,thattheengagementdidnotlastlong.

Whetherhisattackwasmadewithtoomuchheat,ormyskillin

fencingwassuperior,hesoonreceivedamortalwound.He

staggered,anddroppeddeaduponthespot.Insuchasituation,

havingnoalternativebutanimmediateescape,Imountedthe

horseofmyantagonist,andwentoffinthedirectionofToledo.

TherewasnoventuringtoreturntoBaronSteinbach’s,since,

besidesthedangeroftheattempt,thenarrativeofmyadventure

frommyownmouthwouldonlyafflicthimthemore,sothat

nothingwassoeligibleasanimmediatedecampmentfromMadrid.

Chewingthecudofmyownmelancholyreflection,Itravelled

onwardstheremainderofthenightandallthenextmorning.But

aboutnoonitbecamenecessarytostop,bothforthesakeofmy

horseandtoavoidtheinsupportablefiercenessofthemid-day

heat.Istaidinavillagetillsun-set,andthen,intendingto

reachToledowithoutdrawingbit,wentonmyway.Ihadalready

gottwoleaguesbeyondIlescas,when,aboutmidnight,astorm

likethatoftodayovertookmeasIwasjoggingalongtheroad.

Therewasagardenwallatsomelittledistance,andIrodeupto

it.Forwantofanymorecommodiousshelter,myhorse’sstation

and.myownwerearranged,ascomfortablyascircumstanceswould

admit,nearthedoorofasummer-houseattheendofthewall,

withabalconyoverit.Leaningagainstthedoor,Idiscoveredit

tobeopen,owing,asIthought,tothenegligenceofthe

servants.Havingdismounted,lessfromcuriositythanforthe

sakeofabetterstanding,astherainhadbeenverytroublesome

underthebalcony,Iwentintothelowerpartofthesummer-house,leadingmyhorsebythebridle.

Myamusementduringthestormwasinreconnoitringmyquarters;

andthoughIhadnothingtoformanopinionby,butthelurid

gleamsofthelightning,itwasveryevidentthatsuchahouse

mustbelongtosomefamilyabovethecommon.Iwaswaiting

anxiouslytilltherainabated,tosetforwardagainonmy

journey;butagreatlightatadistancemademechangemy

purpose.Leavingmyhorseinthesummer-house,withthe

precautionoffasteningthedoor,Imadeforthelight,inthe

assurancethattheywerenotallgonetobedinthehouse,and

withtheintentionofrequestingalodgingforthenight.After

crossingseveralwalks,Icametoasaloon,andheretoothedoor

wasleftopen.Onmyentrance,fromthemagnificenceso

handsomelydisplayedbythelightofafinecrystallustre,it

waseasytoconcludethatthismustbetheresidenceofsome

illustriousnobleman.Thepavementwasofmarble,thewainscot

richlycarvedandgilt,theproportionsofarchitecture

tastefullypreserved,andtheceilingevidentlyadornedbythe

masterpiecesofthefirstartistsinfresco.Butwhat

particularlyengagedmyattentionwasagreatnumberofbusts,

andthoseofSpanishheroes,supportedonjasperpedestals,and

rangedroundthesaloon.Therewasopportunityenoughfor

examiningallthissplendour,sincetherewasnotevenafoot-fall,northeshadowofanyoneglidingalongthepassage,though

myearsandeyeswereincessantlyonthewatchforsome

inhabitantofthisfairydesert.

Ononesideofthesaloontherewasadoora-jar;bypushingita

littlewideropen,Idiscoveredarangeofapartments,witha

lightonlyinthefurthest.Whatistobedonenow?thoughtI

withinmyself.ShallIgoback,ortakethelibertyofmarching

forward,eventothatchamber?Tobesure,itwasobviousthat

themostprudentstepwouldbetomakegoodmyretreat;but

curiositywasnottoberepelled,orrather,tospeakmoretruly,

mystarwasinitsascendant.Advancingboldlyfromroomtoroom,

atlengthIreachedthatwherethelightwas.Itwasawaxtaper

onamarbleslab,inamagnificentcandlestick.Thefirstobject

thatcaughtmyeyewasthegayfurnitureofthissummerabode;

butsoonafterwards,castingalooktowardsabed,ofwhichthe

curtainswerehalfundrawnonaccountoftheheat,anobject

arrestedmyattention,whichengrosseditwiththedeepest

interest.Ayounglady,inspiteofthethunderclapswhichhad

beenpealingroundher,wassleepingthere,motionlessand

undisturbed.Iapproachedherverygently,andbythelightof

thetaperIhadseized,acomplexionandfeaturesthemost

dazzlingweresubmittedtomygaze.Myspiritswereallafloatat

thediscovery.Asensationoftransportanddelightcameoverme;

buthowevermyfeelingsmightharassmyownheart,myconviction

ofherhighbirthcheckedeverypresumptuoushope,andawe

obtainedacompletevictoryoverdesire.WhileIwasdrinkingin

floodsofadorationattheshrineofherbeauty,thegoddessof

myhomageawoke.

Youmaywellsupposeherconsternation,atseeingaman,anutter

stranger,inherbedchamber,andatmidnight.Shewasterrified

atthisstrangeappearance,andutteredaloudshriek.Ididmy

besttorestorehercomposure,andthrowingmyselfonmykneesin

thehumblestposture,Madam,saidI,fearnothing.Mybusiness

hereisnottohurtyou.Iwasgoingon,butheralarmwasso

greatthatshewasincapableofhearingmyexcuses.Shecalled

herwomanwithamostvehementimportunity,andasshecouldget

noanswer,shethrewoverherathinnight-gownatthefootof

thebed,rushedrapidlyoutoftheroom,anddartedintothe

apartmentsIhadcrossed,stillcallingherfemaleestablishment

abouther,aswellasayoungersisterwhomshehadunderher

care.Ilookedfornothinglessthanaposseofstrappingfootmen

whowerelikely,withouthearingmydefence,toexecutesummary

justiceonsoaudaciousaculprit;butbygoodluck,atleastfor

me,hercriesweretonopurpose;theyonlyrousedanold

domestic,whowouldhavebeenbutasorryknighthadanyravisher

ormagicianinvadedherrepose.Nevertheless,assumingsomewhat

ofcouragefromhispresence,sheaskedmehaughtilywhoIwas,

bywhatinletandtowhatpurposeIhadpresumptuouslygained

admissionintoherhouse.Ibeganthentoenteronmy

exculpation,andhadnosoonerdeclaredthattheopendoorofthe

summer-houseinthegardenhadinvitedmyentrance,thanshe

exclaimedasifthunderstruck—Justheaven!whatanideadarts

acrossmymind!

Assheutteredthesewords,shecaughtatthewaxlightonthe

table;thenranthroughalltheapartmentsoneafteranother,

withoutfindingeitherherattendantsorhersister.She

remarked,too,thatalltheirpersonalsandwardrobewerecarried

off.Withsuchacommentonherhastysuspicions,shecameupto

meandsaid,inthehurriedaccentofsuspenseandperturbation:

Traitor!addnothypocrisytoyourothercrimes.Chancehasnot

broughtyouhither.YouareinthetrainofDonFerdinandde

Leyva,andareanaccompliceinhisguilt.Buthopenotto

escape,therearestillpeopleenoughaboutmetosecureyou.

Madam,saidI,donotconfoundmewithyourenemies.Don

FerdinanddeLeyvaisastrangertome;Idonotevenknowwho

youare.Youseebeforeyouanoutcast,whomanaffairofhonour

hascompelledtoflyfromMadrid;andIswearbywhateverismost

sacredamongmen,thathadnotastormovertakenme,Ishould

neverhavesetmyfootoveryourthreshold.Entertain,then,a

morefavourableopinionofme.Sofarfromsuspectingmeforan

accompliceinanyplotagainstyou,believemereadytoenlistin

yourdefence,andtorevengeyourwrongs.Theselastwords,and

stillmorethesinceretoneinwhichtheyweredelivered,

convincedtheladyofmyinnocence,andsheseemednolongerto

lookonmeasherenemy;butifherangerabateditwasonlythat

hergriefmightswaymoreabsolutely.Shebeganweepingmost

bitterly.Hertearscalledforthmysympathy,andmyaffliction

wasscarcelylesspoignantthanherown,thoughthecauseofthis

contagioussorrowwasstilltobeascertained.Yetitwasnot

enoughtominglemytearswithhers;inmyimpatiencetobecome

herdefenderandavenger,animpulseofterrificfurycameover

me.Madam,exclaimedI,whatoutragehaveyousustained?Letme

knowit,andyourinjuriesaremine.Wouldyouhavemehuntout

DonFerdinand,andstabhimtotheheart?Onlytellmeonwhom

yourjusticewouldfall,andtheyshallsuffer.Youhaveonlyto

givetheword.Whateverdangers,whatevercertainevilsmaybe

attendantontheexecutionofyourorders,theunknown,whomyou

thoughttobeinleaguewithyourenemies,willbravethemallin

yourcause.

Thisenraptureddevotionsurprisedthelady,andstoppedthe

flowingofhertears,Ah!sir,saidshe,forgivethissuspicion,

andattributeittotheblindnessofmycruelfate.Anobilityof

sentimentlikethisspeaksatoncetotheheartofSeraphina:and

whileitundeceives,makesmethelessrepineatastrangerbeing

witnessofanaffrontofferedtomyfamily.Yes,Iownmyerror,

andrevoltnot,unknownasyouare,fromyourprofferedaid.But

thedeathofDonFerdinandisnotwhatIrequire.Well,then,

madam,resumedI,ofwhatnaturearetheservicesyouwould

enjoinme?Sir,repliedSeraphina,thegroundofmycomplaintis

this:DonFerdinanddeLeyvaisenamouredofmysisterJulia,

whomhemetwithbyaccidentatToledo,whereweforthemost

partreside.Threemonthssince,heaskedherinmarriageofthe

CountdePolan,myfather,whorefusedhisconsentonaccountof

anoldgrudgesubsistingbetweenthefamilies.Mysisterisnot

yetfifteen,shemusthavebeenindiscreetenoughtofollowthe

evilcounselsofmywoman,whomDonFerdinandhasdoubtless

bribed;andthisdaringruffian,advertisedofourbeingaloneat

ourcountry-house,hastakentheopportunityofcarryingoff

Julia.AtleastIshouldliketoknowwhathiding-placehehas

chosentodepositherin,thatmyfatherandmybrother,whohave

beenthesetwomonthsatMadrid,maytaketheirmeasures

accordingly.Forheaven’ssake,addedshe,giveyourselfthe

troubleofexaminingtheneighbourhoodofToledo,anactso

heinouscannotescapedetection,andmyfamilywilloweyoua

debtofeverlastinggratitude.

Theladywaslittleawarehowunseasonableanemploymentshewas

thrustinguponme.MyescapefromCastilecouldnotbetoosoon

effected;andyethowshouldsuchareflectioneverenterinto

herhead,whenitwascompletelysupersededinminebyamore

powerfulsuggestion?Delightedatfindingmyselfimportanttothe

mostlovelycreatureintheuniverse,Icaughtatthecommission

witheagerness,andpromisedtoacquitmyselfofitwithequal

zealandindustry.Infact,Ididnotwaitfordaybreak,togo

aboutfulfillingmyengagement.AhastyleaveofSeraphinagave

meoccasiontobegherpardonforthealarmIhadcausedher,and

toassureherthatsheshouldspeedilyhearsomewhatofmy

adventure.IwentoutasIcamein,butsowrappedupin

admirationofthelady,thatitwaspalpableIwascompletely

caught.Mysenseofthistruthwasthemoreconfirmed,bythe

eagernesswithwhichIembarkedinbytheromantic,gaily-colouredbubbleswhichmypassionblew.Itstruckmyfancythat

Seraphina,thoughengrossedbyheraffliction,hadremarkedthe

hastybirthofmylove,withoutbeingdispleasedatthe

discovery.IevenflatteredmyselfthatifIcouldfurnishher

withanycertainintelligenceofhersister,andthebusiness

shouldterminateinanydegreetohersatisfaction,mypartinit

wouldberememberedtomyadvantage.

DonAlphonsobrokethethreadofhisdiscourseatthispassage,

andsaidtoouragedhost:Ibegyourpardon,father,ifthe

fullnessofmypassionshouldleadmetodilatetoolongupon

particulars,wearisomeanduninterestingtoastranger.No,my

son,repliedthehermit,suchparticularsarenotwearisome:Iam

interestedtoknowthestateandprogressofyourpassionforthe

youngladyyouarespeakingof;mycounselswillbeinfluencedby

theminutedetailyouaregivingme.

Withmyfancyheatedbytheseseductiveimages,resumedtheyoung

man,IwastwodayshuntingafterJulia’sravisher:butinvain

werealltheinquiriesthatcouldbemade;bynomeansIcould

devisewastheleasttraceofhimtobediscovered.Deeply

mortifiedattheunsuccessfulissueofmysearch,Ibentmysteps

backtoSeraphina,whomIpicturedtomyselfasoverwhelmedwith

uneasiness.Yetshewasinbetterspiritsthanmighthavebeen

expected.Sheinformedmethathersuccesshadbeenbetterthan

mine;forshehadlearnedhowhersisterwasdisposedof.Shehad

receivedaletterfromDonFerdinandhimself,importingthat

afterbeingprivatelymarriedtoJulia,hehadplacedherina

conventatToledo.Ihavesenthislettertomyfather,pursued

Seraphina.Ihopetheaffairmaybeadjustedamicably,andthata

solemnmarriagewillsoonextinguishthefeudswhichhavesolong

keptourrespectivefamiliesatvariance.

Whentheladyhadthusinformedmeofhersister’sfate,she

beganmakinganapologyforthetroubleshehadgivenme,aswell

asthedangerintowhichshemightimprudentlyhavethrownme,by

engagingmyservicesinpursuitofaravisher,without

recollectingwhatIhadtoldher,thatanaffairofhonourhad

beentheoccasionofmyflight.Herexcuseswerecouchedinsuch

flatteringterms,astoconvertherveryoversightintoan

obligation.Asrestwasdesirableformeaftermyjourney,she

conductedmeintothesaloon,wherewesatdowntogether.She

woreanundressgownofwhitetaffetywithblackstripes,anda

littlehatofthesamematerialswithblackfeathers;whichgave

mereasontosupposethatshemightbeawidow.Butshelookedso

young,thatIscarcelyknewwhattothinkofit.

IfIwasallimpatienttogetatherhistory,shewasnotlessso

toknowwhoIwas.Shebesoughtmetoacquaintherwithmyname,

notdoubting,asshekindlyexpressedit,bymynobleair,and

stillmorebythegenerouspitywhichhadmademeentersowarmly

intoherinterests,thatIbelongedtosomeconsiderablefamily.

Thequestionwasnotalittleperplexing.Mycolourcameand

went,myagitationwasextreme:andImustownthat,withless

repugnancetothemeannessofafalsehoodthantothe

acknowledgmentofadisgracefultruth,IansweredthatIwasthe

sonofBaronSteinbach,anofficeroftheGermanguard.Tellme,

likewise,resumedthelady,whyyouleftMadrid.Beforeyou

answermyquestion,Iwillinsureyouallmyfather’scredit,as

wellasthatofmybrotherDonGaspard.Itistheleastmarkof

gratitudeIcanbestowonagentlemanwho,formyservice,has

neglectedthepreservationevenofhisownlife.Withoutfurther

hesitation,Iacquaintedherwithallthecircumstancesofmy

rencounter:shelaidthewholeblameonmydeceasedantagonist,

andengagedtointerestallherfamilyinmyfavour.

WhenIhadsatisfiedhercuriosity,itseemednotunreasonableto

pleadinfavourofmyown.Iinquiredwhethershewasmaid,wife,

orwidow.Itisthreeyears,answeredshe,sincemyfathermade

memarryDonDiegodeLara;andIhavebeenawidowthesefifteen

months.Madam,saidI,bywhatmisfortunewereyourweddedjoys

sosooninterrupted?Iamgoingtoinformyou,sir,resumedthe

lady,inreturnfortheconfidenceyouhavereposedinme.

DonDiegodeLarawasaveryelegantandaccomplishedgentleman:

but,thoughhisaffectionformewasextreme,andeverydaywas

witnesstosomeattemptatgivingmepleasure,suchasthemost

impassionedandmosttenderloverputsinpracticetowinthe

smileofherheloves;thoughhehadathousandestimable

qualities,myheartwasuntouchedbyallhismerit.Loveisnot

alwaystheoffspringeitherofassiduityordesert.Alas!weare

oftencaptivatedatfirstsightbyweknownotwhom,norwhy,nor

how.Tolove,then,wasnotinmypower.Moredisconcertedthan

gratifiedbyhisrepeatedofficesoftenderness,whichIreceived

withaforcedcourtesy,butwithoutrealpleaure,ifIaccused

myselfinsecretofingratitude,Istillthoughtmyselfanobject

asmuchofpityasofcensure.Tohisunhappinessandmyown,his

delicacymorethankeptpacewithhisaffection.Notanactionor

aspeechofmine,butheunravelledallitshiddenmotives,and

fathomedallmythoughts,almostbeforetheyarose.Theinmost

recessesofmyheartwerelaidopentohispenetration.He

complainedwithoutceasingofmyindifference;andesteemed

himselfonlysomuchthemoreunfortunate,innotbeingableto

pleaseme,ashewaswellassuredthatnorivalstoodinhisway;

forIwasscarcelysixteenyearsold;and,beforehepaidhis

addressestome,hehadtamperedwithmywomen,whohadassured

himthatnoonehadhithertoattractedmyattention.Yes,

Seraphina,hewouldoftensay,Icouldhavebeencontentedthat

youhadpreferredsomeothertomyself;andthattherewereno

morefatalcauseofyourinsensibility.Myattentionsandyour

ownprincipleswouldgetthebetterofsuchajuvenile

prepossession;butIdespairoftriumphingoveryourcoldness,

sinceyourheartisimpenetrabletoalltheloveIhavelavished

onyou.Weariedwiththerepetitionofthesamestrain,Itold

himthatinsteadofdisturbinghisreposeandminebythisexcess

ofdelicacy,hewoulddobetterintrustingtotheeffectsof

time.Infact,atmyage,Icouldnotbeexpectedtoenterinto

therefinementsofsosentimentalapassion;andDonDiegoshould

havewaited,asIwarnedhim,forariperperiodandmorestaid

reflection.But,findingthatawholeyearhadelapsed,andthat

hewasnoforwarderinmyfavourthanonthefirstday,helost

allpatience,orrather,hisbrainbecamedistracted.Affecting

tohaveimportantbusinessatcourt,hetookhisleave,andwent

toserveasavolunteerintheLowCountries;wherehesoonfound

inthechancesofwarwhathewenttoseek,theterminationsof

hissufferingsandofhislife.

Aftertheladyhadfinishedherrecital,herhusband’suncommon

characterbecamethetopicofourdiscourse.Wewereinterrupted

bythearrivalofacourier,chargedwithaletterforSeraphina

fromtheCountDePolan.Shebeggedmypermissiontoreadit;and

asshewenton,Iobservedhertogrowpale,andtobecome

dreadfullyagitated.Whenshehadfinished,sheraisedhereyes

upward,heavedalongsigh,andherfacewasinamomentbathed

withhertears.Hersorrowsatheavilyonmyfeelings.Myspirits

weregreatlydisturbed;and,asifitwereaforewarningofthe

blowimpendingovermyhead,adeath-likeshuddercreptthrough

myframe,andmyfacultieswereallbenumbed.Madam,saidI,in

accentshalfchokedwithapprehension,mayIaskofwhatdire

eventsthatletterbringsthetidings?Takeit,sir,answered

Seraphinamostdolefully,whilesheheldoutthelettertome.

Readforyourselfwhatmyfatherhaswritten.Alas!youarebut

toodeeplyconcernedinthecontents.

Atthesewords,whichmademybloodruncold,Itooktheletter

withatremblinghand,andfoundinitthefollowing

intelligence:“Yourbrother,DonGaspard,foughtyesterdayatthe

Prado.Hereceivedasmallswordwound,ofwhichhediedthis

day:anddeclared,beforehebreathedhislast,thathis

antagonistwasthesonofBaronSteinbach,anofficerofthe

Germanguard.Asmisfortunesnevercomealone,themurdererhas

eludedmyvengeancebyflight,butwhereverhemayhaveconcealed

himself,nopainsshallbesparedtohunthimout.Iamgoingto

writetothemagistratesallroundthecountry,whowillnotfail

totakehimintocustody,ifhepassesthroughanyoneofthe

townsintheirjurisdiction,andbythenoticesIamgoingto

circulate,Ihopetocutoffhisretreatinthecountryoratthe

sea-ports.—THECOUNTDEPOLAN.”

Conceiveintowhatafermentthisletterthrewallmythoughts.I

remainedforsomemomentsmotionlessandwithoutthepowerof

speech.Inthemidstofmyconfusion,Itooplainlysawthe

destructivebearingofDonGaspard’sdeathonthepassionIhad

imbibed.Mydespairwasunboundedatthethought.Ithrewmyself

atSeraphina’sfeet,andofferinghermynakedsword,Madam,said

I,sparetheCountdePolanthenecessityofseekingfurtherfor

amanwhomightpossiblywithdrawhimselffromhisresentment.Be

yourselftheavengerofyourbrother:offeruphismurdereras

thevictimofyourownhand:now,striketheblow.Letthisvery

weaponwhichterminatedhislife,cutshortthesadremnantof

hisadversary’sdays.Sir,answeredSeraphina,alittlesoftened

bymybehaviour,IlovedDonGaspard,sothatthoughyoukilled

himinfairandmanlyhostility,andthoughhebroughthisdeath

uponhimself;youmayrestassuredthatItakeupmyfather’s

quarrel.Yes,DonAlphonso,Iamyourdecidedenemy,andwilldo

againstyouallthatthetiesofbloodandfriendshiprequireat

myhands.ButIwillnottakeadvantageofyourevilstar:in

vainhasitdeliveredyouintomygrasp:ifhonourarmsme

againstyou,thesamesentimentforbidstopursueacowardly

revenge.Therightsofhospitalitymustbeinviolable,andIwill

notrepaysuchserviceasyouhaverenderedmewiththetreachery

ofanassassin.Fly!makeyourescape,ifyoucan,fromour

pursuitandfromtherigourofthelaws,andsaveyourforfeit

lifefromthedangersthatbesetit.

What,then!madam,returnedI,whenvengeanceisinyourown

hands,doyouturnitovertothelaws,whichmay,perhaps,be

tooslowforyourimpatience?Nay!ratherstabawretchwhois

notworthyofyourforbearance.No,madam,maintainnotsonoble

andsogenerousaproceedingwithonelikeme.DoyouknowwhoI

am?AllMadridtakesmeforBaronSteinbach’sson—yetamI

nothingbetterthanafoundling,whomhebroughtupfromcharity.

Iknownotevenwhowereguiltyofmyexistence.Nomatter,

interruptedSeraphina,withprecipitation,asifmylastwords

hadgivenhernewuneasiness,thoughyouwerethelowestof

mankindIwoulddowhathonourbids.Well,madam,saidI,sincea

brother’sdeathisinsufficienttoexciteyourthirstaftermy

blood,Iwillexasperateyourhatredstillfurtherbyanew

offence,ofwhichItrustyouwillneverpardontheboldness.I

doteonyou:Icouldnotbeholdyourcharmswithoutbeingdazzled

bythem:and,inspiteofthecloudinwhichmydestinywas

enveloped,Ihadcherishedthehopeofbeingunitedtoyou.Iwas

soinfatuatedbymypassion,orratherbymypride,astoflatter

myselfthatheaven,whichperhapsconcealsfrommemybirthin

mercy,mightdiscoveritoneday,andenablemewithoutablush

toacquaintyouwithmyrealname.Afterthisinjuriousavowal,

canyouhesitateamomentaboutpunishingme?

Thisrashdeclaration,repliedthelady,woulddoubtlessprove

offensiveatanyotherseason;butIforgiveitinconsideration

ofthetroublewhichbewildersyou.Besides,myownconditionso

engrossesme,astorendermedeaftoanystrangeideasthatmay

escapeyou.Oncemore,DonAlphonso,addedshe,sheddingtears,

begonefarfromahousewhichyouhavecastintomourning:every

momentofyourlongerstayaddspungencytomydistress.Ino

longeropposeyourwill,madam,returnedI,preparingtotakemy

leave:absencefromyoumustthenbemyportion:butdonot

supposethat,anxiousforthepreservationofalifewhichis

becomehatefultoyou,IgotoseekanasylumwhereImaybe

shelteredfromyoursearch.No,no,Ibaremybreasttoyour

resentment.IshallwaitwithimpatienceatToledoforthefate

whichyoudesignme;andbysurrenderingatoncetomypursuers,

shallmyselfforwardthecompletionofmymiseries.

AttheconclusionofthisspeechIwithdrew.Myhorsewas

returnedtome,andIwenttoToledo,whereIabodeeightdays,

andreallywithsolittlecaretoconcealmyselfthatIknownot

howorwhyIhaveescapedanarrest;forIcannotsupposethat

theCountdePolan,whosewholesoulissetoncuttingoffmy

retreat,shouldnothavebeenawarethatIwaslikelytopass

throughToledo.YesterdayIleftthattown,whereitshouldseem

asifIwastiredofmyliberty,andwithoutbetakingmyselfto

anyfixedcourseoftravelling,Icametothishermitage,likea

manwhohadnoreasontobeashamedofshewinghimself.Such,

father,wasthecauseofmyabsenceanddistraction.Ibeseech

youtoassistmewithyourcounsels.

CH.XI.—Theoldhermitturnsoutanextraordinarygenius,and

GilBlasfindshimselfamonghisformeracquaintance.

WHENDonAlphonsohadconcludedthemelancholyrecitalofhis

misfortunes,theoldhermitsaidtohim—Myson,youhavebeen

excessivelyrashintarryingsolongatToledo.Iconsiderina

verydifferentlightfromthatyouaffecttoplaceitin,what

youhavetoldmeofyourstory;andyourloveforSeraphinaseems

tometobesheermadness.Takemywordforit,youwilldowell

tocancelthatyoungladyfromyourremembrance;shenevercanbe

ofyourcommunion.Retreatlikeaskilfulgeneral,whenyou

cannotactwitheffectontheoffensive;andpursueyourfortune

onanotherfield,wheresuccessmaysmileonyourendeavours.You

willbeterriblyoutoflucktokillthebrotherofthenext

youngladywhomaychancetosucceedthisonlypossibleobjectof

youraffection.

Hewasgoingtoaddmanyotherinducementstoresignation,in

suchacaseasDonAlphonso’s,whenwesawanotherhermitenter

ourretreat,withawell-stuffedwalletslungacrosshis

shoulders.Hewasonhisreturn,withthecharitable

contributionsofallthegoodfolksinthetownofCuen�a;and

thegatheringdidcredittothereligionoftheage.Helooked

youngerthanhiscompanion,inspiteofhisthick,foxybeard.

Welcomehome,brotherAnthony,saidtheelderofthetwo

recluses;whatnewsdoyoubringusfromtown?Badenough,

answeredthecarrotyfriar,puttingintohishandsapaper,

foldedintheformofaletter;thislittleinstrumentwill

informyou.Thehoarysageopenedit,andafterreadingonwith

anincreasedattention,asthecontentsseemedtogrowmore

interesting,exclaimed:Heaven’swillbedone!Sincethe

combustionisanticipated,wehaveonlytofallinwiththe

humourofourfate.Letuschangeourdialect,SignorDon

Alphonso!pursuedhe,addressinghisdiscoursetomyyoung

companion:youbeholdinmeaman,likeyourself;whohasbeena

broadmarkforthewantonnessoffortunetotakeaimat.Wordis

sentmefromCuen�a,atownatthedistanceofaleaguehence,

thatsomebackbiterhasbeenblackeningmyfairfameinthe

esteemofjustice;whoiscomingwithherhueandcrytodisturb

thereposeoftheseruralscenes,andtolayherpawuponmy

person.Butanoldfoxistoocunningtobecaughtinatrap.

ThisisnotthefirsttimethatIhavecutandrunbeforethe

bloodhoundsofthelaw.But,thankstomyselfforhavingmywits

aboutme,Ihavealwaysendedthechaseinawholeskin,andheld

myselfinreadinessforanother.Itisnowtimetoassumeanother

form;for,whetheryoulikemebestinmyoldskinormynew,I

castmyhermit’sdecrepitslough,tobaskinthesunshineof

youthandvigour.

Tosuittheactiontotheword,hethrewofftheincumbranceof

hisecclesiasticalpetticoat,andstoodforthtoviewina

doubletofblacksergewithslashedsleeves.Thenoffwenthis

cap,andsnapwentastring,whichsupportedthehoaryhonoursof

abeard,andouranchoritewasatoncetransformedtoabrawny

ruffianofeight-and-twentyorthirty.BrotherAnthony,following

agoodexample,discardedtheoutwardshowofreligion,treated

hisfierybeardasthesnowyonehadbeenhandledjustbefore,

andpulledoutofanoldworm-eatentrunkasorryragofa

cassock,withwhichheinvestedhisperson.Butwhatwordscan

expressmysurprise,whenSignorDonRaphaelpresentedhimselfto

myview,likeaphoenixfromtheashesoftheoldbead-counter!

Tocompletethetrickofthepantomime,brotherAnthonywas

turnedintomyfaithfulvassalandtrustysquire,Ambrosede

Lamela.Herearemiracles!exclaimedIinaquandary;asfarasI

canperceive,weareallhailfellowwellmet!Youneverwere

moreluckyinyourlife,SignorGilBlas,saidDonRaphael,with

abrazen-facedgoodhumour:youhavefallenamongoldfriends

whenyouleastexpectedit.Itmustbeownedyouhaveacrowto

pluckwithus;butletthepastbeburiedinoblivion,andthank

heaven,herewearetogetheragain.AmbroseandIwillserve

underyourbanner;andletmetellyou,youwillhavesubalterns

ofnocontemptibleprowess.Youmayobjecttoourmorals;but

theyarebetterinthemainthanmanyahypocrite’spretensions.

Weneverassassinate,andrarelymaltreat:andthatinpureself-defence.Theonlylibertywetakewithsocietyistoliveatfree

quarters:andthoughrobberymaybeconsideredascontainingsome

littlespiceofinjustice,thenecessitywelabourunderof

committingitrestoresitsequilibriumtothescale.Evenjoin

yourfortunewithours:youwillleadalifeofhazard,butof

variety.Ourpredatoryperegrinationshaveeverypastoralbeauty

exceptinnocence,andthewantofthatismorethancounterpoised

bysubtletyandstratagem.Notbut,withallourforecast,a

certainmechanicalconcatenationofsecondcausessometimes

frustratesourbest-concertedprojects,anddragsourphilosophy

throughthemire.Butaduckingnowandthenonlymakesusswim

thebetter.Theseasonsmustallbetakenintheirturns;the

blanksaswellastheprizesmustbedrawninthecheating

lotteryoflife.

Courteousstranger,pursuedthepretendedhermit,speakingtoDon

Alphonso,weextendtheproposalofpartnershiptoyou,andit

maybeaquestionwhetheryouwillbetteryourselfbyrejecting

it,inthelamentableconditionofyouraffairs;for,tosay

nothingofthechance-medleyforwhichyouareathideandseek,

yourfortuneisprobablyalittleoutatelbows.Mostlamentably

so,saidDonAlphonso;andhence,sincethetruthmustout,are

myforebodingsmoredarkthanevenmypresentevils.Thatisthe

verything!repliedDonRaphael.Youweresentbyourbetter

geniustojointheparty.Youwillfindnosuchgoodberthinthe

honestpartoftheworld.Yourwantswillallbesupplied,and

youmaylaughatthevigilanceofyourpursuers.Thereisnota

cornerinallSpainwhichwehavenotferretedout;thosewhoare

alwaysonthescamperseeagreatdealofthecountry.Weare

perfectconnoisseursinlandscape,andaffectSalvatorRosa’s

ruggedscenery.Therewegrazeinpeaceandfreedom,securefrom

thebrutalityofjustice.DonAlphonsoexpressedhimselfvery

muchobligedtothemfortheirkindinvitation;andfinding

neithermoneyinhispurse,norcontrivancetoprocureitinhis

pericranium,madeuphismindatoncenottostanduponpunctilio

withmorality.Itoowasledintoaloosercoursethanagreed

withmyrigidprinciples,byagrowingfriendshipforthisyoung

man,whomIcouldnotfindinmyhearttoabandoninsoperilous

anenterprise.

Weallfouragreedtosetoffinabody,andnevertopart

company.Thequestionwasputwhetherweshouldsoundaretreat

ontheinstant,orfirstgiveaperemptorysummonstoaflagonof

excellentwine,whichbrotherAnthonyhadinvestedbyregular

approachesatCuen�athedaybefore;butRaphael,amore

experiencedgeneralthananyofus,representedthatthefirst

thingtobedonewastorenderourowncampimpregnable,for

whichpurposeheproposedthatweshouldmarchallnight,togain

averythickwoodbetweenVillardesaandAlmodabar,wherewe

shouldhalt,asinafriendlycountry,andrecruitafterthe

fatiguesofthecampaign.Thesegeneralorderswereapprovedof

incouncil.Ourlayhermitsthenwentaboutpackinguptheir

baggageandprovisions,whichwereswungintwobundlesacross

thebackofDonAlphonso’shorse.Wewerenotlonginour

preparations,afterwhichwesheeredofffromthehermitage,

leavingarichbootytolegalrapineinthesaintlyparaphernalia

ofthetwohermits;includingawhitebeardandaredone,two

ricketybedsteads,atablewithoutaleg,achestwithouta

bottom,twochairswithoutanyseats,andanunmutilatedimageof

StPacomo.

Ourmarchwascontinuedthewholenight,andwebegantochafe

andfeelotherinconveniences,whenatdaybreakwehailedthe

woodwhereourtoilsweretoend.Sailorsafteralongvoyage

worktheshipwithdoublealacrityatsightoftheirnativeland.

Soitwaswithus,wepushedforwardandgottoourjourney’send

bysunrise.Dashingintothethickestofthewood,wepitched

uponaretiredandpleasantspot,wheretheturfwascircledin

bytallandbranchingoaks,whosegiganticlimbs,interwovenover

ourheads,formedanaturalvault,nottobepenetratedevenby

noon-dayheat.Wetookthebridleoffthehorsetolethimfeed

afterhewasunloaded.Thendownwesat,pullingoutofbrother

Anthony’swalletsomelargepiecesofbreadandgoodsubstantial

slicesofroastmeat,atwhichwebeganpeggingwithallpossible

pertinacity.Nevertheless,letourappetitesbeasobstinateas

theymight,weeverynowandthensuspendedthefraytospara

littlewiththeflagon,whichreturnedourblowstillitmadeus

reelagain.

Abouttheendoftheconflict,DonRaphaelsaidtoDonAlphonso-

-Mybravecomrade,aftertheconfidenceyouhavereposedinme,

itisbutfairthatinmyturnIshouldrecountthehistoryofmy

lifetoyouwiththesamesincerity.Youwilldomeagreat

favour,answeredtheyoungman;andanequalonetome,chimedin

I.Mycuriosityisallalivetoknowyouradventures,for

doubtlesstheymustaffordmuchmatterofusefulspeculation.You

mayrestassuredofthat,repliedDonRaphael;andImeanto

leavebehindmeahistoryofmyowntimes.Thecompositionshall

betheamusementofmyoldage,forIamasyetintheprimeof

life,andmeantofurnishinpropri�person�manynewhintsfor

mycommonplace-book.Butweareallweary,letusrecruitwith

somehoursofsleep.Whilewethreeliedown,Ambroseshallkeep

watchforfearofasurprise,andshallthentakeanapinhis

turn.Forthough,toallappearance,wearehereinperfect

safety,itisalwaysgoodtokeepasentryattheout-posts.

Afterthisprecautionhestretchedhimselfalonguponthegrass.

DonAlphonsodidthesame.Ifollowedtheirexample,andLamela

performedtheofficeofascout.

DonAlphonso,sofarfromgettinganyrest,wasincessantly

broodingoverhismisfortunes,andIcouldnotgetawinkof

sleep.AsforDonRaphael,hesnoredmostsonorously.Buthe

awokeinlittlemorethananhour,when,findingusina

listeningmood,hesaidtoLamela—MyfriendAmbrose,youmay

nowyieldtothegentleinfluenceofMorpheus.No,no,answered

Lamela,mysleepyfitisover;andthoughIknowallthepassages

ofyourlifebyrote,theyaresoinstructivetothe

practitionersofourartandmystery,thatIdonotcarehow

oftenIhearthetaleoveragain.Withoutfurtherpreface,Don

Raphaelbeganthenarrativeofhisadventuresintheseterms.

BOOKTHEFIFTH.

CH.I.—HistoryofDonRaphael.

IMADEmyentranceonthestageoflifeatMadrid,wheremy

motherwasanactress,famousfordramatic,andinfamousforher

intriguingtalents.HernamewasLucinda.Asformyfather,every

manmusthaveone;butmyarithmeticistooscantytodetermine

thenumberofmine.Itmightindeedbeamatterofhistory,that

suchorsuchamanoffashionwasdanglingaftermymotheratthe

epochofmyarrivalinthissystem;butthen,thatmerefact

wouldbynomeanswarrantadeductionthatanyindividualgallant

ofthemothermustthereforebethefatherofthechild.Alady,

soeminentasshewasinsonotoriousandwholesaleaprofession,

musthavemanystringstoherbow;whereherblandishmentsare

mostpubliclylavished,herfavoursaremostsparinglybestowed:

thereisashowarticleortwoforpublicexhibition,buther

everydaywaresarecheap,andhackneyedtothemeanestpurchaser.

Thereisnothingliketakingscandalbythebeard,andtreating

theopinionoftheworldwithheroicindifference.Lucinda,

insteadofcoopingmeupinagarretathome,madenoscruple

aboutowningherlittlebastard,buttookmeinherhandtothe

theatrewithamodestassurance,regardlesshowthetongueof

rumourmightbabbleatherexpense,orhowthelaughofmalice

mightpealatmyunluckyappearance.Inshort,Iwasherpet,and

cameinforthecaressesofallthemenwhofrequentedthehouse.

Onewouldhaveswornthatnaturepleadedinmyfavour,and

inspiredeachofthemwithafather’sprideinthebrattheyhad

clubbedfor.Thetwelvefirstyearsofmylifeweresufferedto

wasteawayinallkindsoffrivolousamusements.Scarcelydid

theyteachmetoreadandwrite.Stilllesswasitthoughtofany

consequencetoinitiatemeintheprinciplesofmyreligion.To

dance,tosing,toplayontheguitar,wasthesumtotalofmy

earlyattainments.Withthesegiftsandgracesformyonly

acquisitions,theMarquisofLeganezaskedformetobeabouthis

onlyson,whowasnearlyofmyownage.Lucindagaveherconsent

withoutreluctance,anditwasthenthatIbegantomindalittle

whatIwasabout.YoungLeganezcouldnotreproachmewithmy

ignorance,hislittlelordshipwasnotcastinascientific

mould,forhescarcelyknewaletterofhisalphabet,thoughhe

hadbeenunderprivatetuitionforfifteenmonths.Noneofhis

masterscouldmakeanythingofhim,patiencewasneverformedto

engageinsounequalamatch.Tobesure,theywereexpressly

forbidtoexerciseanyseverityonhisnoblecarcass,their

ordersweretoteach,nottotorturehim;andthistender

precaution,actingonasubjectofinsufferablyuntoward

dispositions,wasthemeansofthrowingtothedogsallthe

mentalphysictheypouredin;hewouldnoneofit.

Buttheverb-grinderengenderedinhisnoddleamostingenious

device,bywhichtokeepthistroublesomeyounglordlinginawe,

withouttrenchingonhisfoolishfather’sinjunctions.This

schemewasnootherthantoflogmewheneverthatscape-grace

Leganezhadincurredthepenaltyoftherod,andthisvicarious

executionwasinflictedwiththeutmostrigour.Myconsenttothe

transferhadneverbeenasked,andtherewasnothingintheact

itselftorecommendit;sothatmyonlychancewastorunaway,

andappealtomymotheragainstsoarbitraryadiscipline.

Howeverhermaternalfeelingsmightinwardlyrevolt,notraceof

woman’sweaknesscouldbedetectedinhermannerofreceivingmy

complaint.TheLeganezconnectionwastooimportanttobelost

forafewwhippings;andawaywentshe,draggingherculpritinto

thepresenceofhistormentor,whobythisactofhersbecame

masterofbroomfield.Experiencehadconvincedhimthatthe

successofhisinventioncorrespondedwithitsfelicity.He

thereforewentonimprovingthemindandmannersofthelittle

grandeeattheexpenseofmyskin.Remorseforhisdelinquencies

wastobeexcitedonlybysympathy;sothatwheneveritbecame

necessarytomakeabloodyexample,myseatofvengeancewas

firkedmostunmercifully.Therunningaccountbetweenyoung

Leganezandmewasallononeside,andscarcelyadaypassedbut

hesinnedontickandsufferedbyattorney.Bythenearest

calculationofwholenumbers,therewentsomewhereabouta

hundredcutstoteachhimeachsingleletterofthealphabet;so

thatifyoumultiply100by24forstupidity,andaddan0tothe

amountformoraloffences,youwillhavethesumtotalofthe

belabouringthathiseducationcostme.

Thisthickandthreefoldcompanionshipwithbirchwasnotthe

onlyrub;mypaththroughthisfamilywasmorebesetwiththorns

thansweetenedbyflowers.Asmybirthandconnectionswereno

secret,thewholeoftheestablishment,totheveryrefuseofthe

household,thestable-boysandscullions,twittedmewithmy

shamefulorigin.ThisstucksoterriblyinmythroatthatImade

myescapeoncemore,butnotwithoutborrowingmytutor’sready

money,amountingtoupwardsofahundredandfiftyducats,foran

indefiniteperiod,andwithoutinterest.Thuswastheaccount

settledbetweenus,sincehehadmadeapropertyofmyhidefora

scarecrow,itwasbutfairthatIshouldhaveafingerinthe

earningsofhisarm.Forafirstattemptatthievingboththe

planandexecutionwerehopeful.Ahueandcrywasraisedfortwo

days,itwashotwhileitlasted,butIlaysnug,andtheymissed

me.Madridwasnolongerafithiding-place,soItooktocover

inToledo,andthehoundswerethrownout.

Iwasjustthenenteringintomyfifteenthyear.Whatahappy

fellow,atsuchanearlyage,toshapemyownconductandbeina

conditionofformingasetofmoralsformyself!Isoonscraped

acquaintancewithsomepleasantyouths,whorescuedmefromthe

dominionofprejudice,andsharedliberallywithmeinthesinof

spendingwhatwasnotmyown.BydegreesIroseinsocietyand

leaguedmyselfwithasetofprofessionalsharpers,whofoundme

sofineasubjecttoworkupon,thatashorttime,withplentyof

practice,putmeinpossessionofallthemostdesperatejobs.At

theexpirationoffiveyears,anitchfortravellinglaidholdof

me.Ithereforetookleaveofmycomradesandgotasfaras

Alcantara,wishingtocommencemyperegrinationswiththe

provinceofEstremadura.Inthismyfirstexcursion,an

opportunityofkeepinginmyhandoccurred;andIwastoo

diligentapractitionertoletitescape.AsIwasonfoot,and

loadedmoreoverwithaprettyheavyknapsack,Ihaltedfromtime

totimetoavailmyselfoftheshade,andrecruitalittleunder

thetreeswhichlinedthehighway.AtoneofthesebaitsIpicked

uptwoyounggentlemen,whowerechattingattheireaseuponthe

grass,andinhalingthefreshnessofthebreeze.Mymodeof

accostingthemwassuitedtotheoccasion;nordidits

familiarityseemtobetakeninillpart.Theeldestcouldnotbe

morethanfifteen—acoupleofaspracticablegreenhornsas

everfellintothehandsofamanofgenius.Courteousstranger,

saidtheyoungest,wearetheSonsoftworichcitizensat

Placentia.LongingextremelytoseethekingdomofPortugal,we

haveeachofusbeggedahundredpistolesfromourfriends,and

aresettingouttosatisfyourcuriosity.Travellingonfootas

wedo,weshallbeabletogetagoodwaywiththatsupply,shall

wenot?Whatdoyouthinkofit?IfIhadasmuch,answeredI,

theymighttakemewhocouldcatchme.Iwouldscouroverthe

fourknownquartersoftheglobe,andthensetoutonnew

discoveries.Fireandfury!Twohundredpistoles!Whyitisan

entailforadukedom!Yououghttolaybyoutoftheinterest.If

itisagreeabletoyou,gentlemen,Iwillclubwithyouasfaras

Almeria,whitherIamgoingtotakepossessionofanestateleft

mebyanunclewhowassettledtherefortwentyyearsorupwards.

Myyoungcockneystestifiedatoncethepleasuretheyshould

derivefrommycompany.Whereupon,whenwewereallthreea

littlerefreshed,wetrudgedontowardsAlcantara,wherewe

arrivedearlyintheafternoon.Noinnbutthebestwasfitto

holdsuchguests.Weaskedforaroom,andwereshownintoone

wheretherewasapresswithagoodstronglockuponit.Supper

wasorderedwithoutdelay;butassometimewasrequiredtoget

itready,Iproposedtomytravellingcompanionsagentlesaunter

aboutthetown.Thepartyseemedperfectlyagreeable.Welocked

upourknapsacksinthepress,thekeyofwhichoneofthe

citizensputinhispocket,andoutsalliedwefromtheinn.The

churcheswerethebestlionswemetwithinourway;andwhilewe

weregapingabouttheprincipal,Ipretendedtohaverecollected

onasuddensomeveryurgentbusiness.Gentlemen,saidItomy

companions,ithasjustcomeacrossmethatagoodmanofToledo

gavemeacommissiontosaytwowordsonhisbehalftoamerchant

wholiveshardbythischurch.Havethegoodnesstowaitforme

here,Iwillbebackinamoment.Withthisexcuse,Iwentoff

likeashot,inthedirectionofourinn.Thepresswasmypoint

ofattack—Iforcedthelock,ransackedthebaggageofmyyoung

citizens,andlaidasacrilegioushandontheirpistoles.Poor

youths!Howtheyweretopaytheirreckoning,itwasnotforme

topresumeeventoguess,formostassuredlyIstrippedthemof

allthenaturalmeans.Afterthisfeat,Idecampedas

expeditiouslyasmylegscouldcarrymefromthetown,andtook

thedirectionofMerida,withoutcaringacursewhatbecameof

theyoungbroodIhadplucked.

Suchawindfallasthisplacedmeinaconditionoftravelling

merrily.Thoughintheveryblushofyouth,acertainforecast

wasnotwantingtocarrymediscreetlythroughtheworld,and

keepmyheadabovewater.Itmustbeadmittedwithoutquestion,

thatIwasayouthofforwardpartsformyage,andunfetteredby

theprejudicesofinnocence.Ideterminedtobuyamule,and

cheapenedoneatthefirstmarkettown.Myknapsackwas

metamorphosedintoaportmanteau,andbydegreesIbegantoput

onthemanofconsequence.Onthethirddayamancameacrossme

singingvesperswithlungslikeapairofbellowsonthehighway.

Byhisair,heseemedtobeamusicianofthechurch

establishment,andIaccostedhimaccordingly.Welldone,myholy

howlerofthehallelujahs!Yousingyourpenitentialdittiesata

goodjovialpitch.Toallappearanceyousol-fawithyourwhole

heartandsoul.Goodsir,repliedhe,Ibelong,withyourgood

leave,tothemusicaldepartmentoftheCatholicchurch:andit

ismycommonpracticetokeepmydevotionandmywindinplayby

therehearsalofananthemortwoasItravelalongtheroad.

Withthisdispositiontobesociable,wesoongotinto

conversation.ItwascleartomethatIhadfalleninwitha

characternottobedespisedinpointofshrewdness,nor

indisposedtosocietyandmerriment.Hewasfourorfive-and-twenty.Mycompanionbeingonfoot,Islackenedmypace,forthe

pleasureofchattingwithhim.Amongotherthings,wetalked

aboutToledo.Iamperfectlywellacquaintedwiththatcity,said

thebrazen-lungedtorturerofanthems.Itwasmyresidencefora

considerabletime,andmyconnectionstherearenotaltogether

contemptible.Andinwhatpartofthetown,interruptedI,did

youreside?IntheNewStreet,washisanswer.Iwashandin

glovewithDonVincentdeBuenaGarra,DonMatthiasdeCordello,

andtwoorthreeothergentlemenofveryconsiderablefashion.We

livedtogether;tookourmealsatthesamemess,and,inshort,

werescarcelyeverasunder.Itwasacharmingsociety!This

avowalwasnosmallsurprisetome,foritistobeunderstood,

thatthegentlemenwhosenameshecitedwithsopompousanair

weretheverysharperswithwhomIhadbeenaffiliatedatToledo.

Why,thoudegeneratevicarchoral!exclaimedI,thesefineblades

ofwhomthouhastbeenboastingareamongthenumberofmy

acquaintancealso,forItoohavelivedwiththemintheNew

Street;wewerehandinglove,tookourmealsatthesamemess,

and,inshort,werescarcelyeverasunder.Youareawag!replied

he,withaknowingwink,thatistosay,yougotintothegang

threeyearsago,whenIleftit.Mymotiveforquittingsucha

worshipfulfraternity,resumedI,wasanitchfortravelling.I

meantomakethetourofSpain.Alittlemoreknowledgeofthe

worldwillmakemequiteanotherthing.Doubtless,saidhe,there

isnopossiblewaybuttravellingtorubofftherust,orbring

wit,talent,andaddresstoperfection.Itisfortheself-same

reasonthatItooturnedmybackuponToledo,thoughthetime

glidedawaythereveryagreeably.Butthankstoakind

providence,whichhasyokedmewithalabourerinmyown

vineyard,whenIleastexpectedit.Letusjoinourforces,let

ustravelthesameroad,letusmakeajoint-stockoutofour

neighbours’purses,letusrob,letuscheat,letusavail

ourselvesofeveryopportunitythatmayofferofexemplifyingour

theory,andimprovingourpractice,inthenobleartonwhichour

skillisemployed.

Theproposalwasmadeinsocandidaspirit,solikeacitizenof

theworld,untaintedwiththeselfishnessofyourhonestmen,

thatIclosedinwithitatonce.Myconfidencewassurrendered

atthefirstsummonstothefranknesswithwhichhevolunteered

hisown.Wespokeourfreeheartseachtotheother.Idilated

allmypilgrimage,andhespakeofmostdisastrouschances,of

movingaccidentsthroughwhichhehadpassedevenfromhisboyish

daystothisverymomentofhisripeandrampantroguery.It

appearedthathewasonhiswayfromPortalegre,whencehehad

beenobligedtodecampwiththeutmostexpeditiononaccountofa

littleswindlingtransactioninwhichhisluckhappenednotto

keeppacewithhisingenuity.Thehabitheworewas

sacrilegiouslyadoptedasacloaktohispersonandreal

character,sincehethoughtitsafesttobenearthechurch,

howeverfarfromGod.Thusdidwetwoshareallourcounsel,and

pledgeourbrother’svows,tillwegrewtogetherlikeadouble

cherry,anddetermined,withtwoseemingbodiesbutoneheart,to

incorporateourvoicesandmindsinsomemasterstrokeatMerida.

Ifittook,wellandgood;ifnot,wehadonlytocutandrun.

Fromthismoment,communityofgoods,thatpureandsimple

featureofpatriarchallife,wasenactedasalawbetweenus.

Moralez,itistrue,forthatwasmyfellow-traveller’sname,did

notfindhimselfinthemostsplendidconditionpossible.His

fundswerelimitedtofiveorsixducats,withafewlittle

articlesinabag.Ithereforewasthemoniedmanofthefirm;

butthentherewasbrassinhisforeheadforaninexhaustible

coinage,andtheseemingofasaintwhenheplayedthedevil

most.Soonwejourneyedontheride-and-tieprinciple,and

arrivedinhumblecavalcadeatMerida.

Weputupataninnneartheskirtsofthetown,wheremycomrade

changedhisdress.Whenhehadriggedhimselfinlayman’sattire,

wetookaturnupanddown,toreconnoitretheground,andseeif

wecouldpickoutsomeopportunityoflabouringinourvocation.

HaditbeenourgoodfortunetohavelivedbeforeHomer,thatold

apologistforsharpingbywholesalewouldhavedignifiedour

excursionwithasimile.

Nothalfsokeen,fiercevulturesofthechase

Stoopfromthemountainsonthefeatheredrace,&c.

Todescendintoplainprose,wewereruminatingonthechapterof

accidents,andhammeringoutsomethemefortheemploymentofour

industry,whenweespiedagrey-headedoldgentlemaninthe

street,swordinhand,defendinghimselfagainstthreemenwho

werethrustingathimwithalltheirmightandmain.The

unfairnessofthematchwaswhatstuckinmythroat;sothat

flying,withthespiritofaprize-fighter,toseefairplay,I

madecommoncausewiththeoldman.Moralezfollowedupmyblows.

Weprovedourselvesmatchforthethreeassailants,andputthem

completelytotherout.

Ourrescuedfriendwasprofuseinhisacknowledgments.Wearein

rapture,saidI,atourgoodluckinbeingheresoseasonablyfor

yourassistance:butletusatleastknowtowhomwehavebeenso

fortunateastobeserviceable;andwhatinducementthosethree

mencouldpossiblyhavefortheirmurderousattempt.Gentlemen

repliedhe,myobligationsaretoogreattohesitateabout

satisfyingyourcuriosity;mynameisJeromedeMoyadas,a

gentlemanofthistown,livingonmymeans.Oneofthesecut-throatrascals,fromwhomyouhaverescuedme,professestobein

lovewithmydaughter.Heaskedherofmeinmarriagewithin

thesefewdays;andforwantofgainingmyconsentinaquiet

way,hasjustattemptedtoforcehimselfintomydaughter’sgood

graces,bysendingmeintotheotherworld.Andmaywetakethe

liberty,rejoinedI,ofinquiringfarther,whyyouwereso

obduratetotheproposalsofthisenamouredswain?Iwillexplain

thewholetoyouatonce,saidhe.Ihadabrother,amerchantin

thistown;hisnamewasAustin.Twomonthsagohehappenedtobe

atCalatrava,andtookuphisabodewithhiscorrespondent,Juan

VelezdelaMembrilla.Theygottobeaslovingasturtles;and

mybrother,toclenchtheconnection,engagedmydaughter

Florencetohisgoodfriend’sson,notdoubtingbuthehad

influenceenoughwithmetoredeemhispledgewhenhereturnedto

Merida.Accordingly,henosooneropenedhimselfonthesubject

thanIconsentedoutofpurefraternalaffection.Hesent

Florence’spicturetoCalatrava;but,alas!hedidnotliveto

putthefinishinghandtohisownwork.Welaidhimwithhis

forefathersthreeweeksago!Onhisdeath-bed,hebesoughtmenot

todisposeofmygirlbutinfavourofhiscorrespondent’sson.I

satisfiedhismindonthatpoint;andthisisthereasonwhyI

haverefusedFlorencetothesuitorbywhomIwasassaulted,

thoughthematchwouldhavebeenaverydesirableone.Butmy

wordismyidol;andweareindailyexpectationofJuanVelezde

laMembrilla’sheir,whoistobemyson-in-law,thoughIknowno

moreofhim,norofhisfatherneither,thaniftheywerejust

importedfromanundiscoveredisland.ButIbegpardon;thisis

anoldman’sgarrulity.Yetyouyourselvesledmeintothe

scrape.

ThistaledidIswallowwithagreedyear;andpouncingatonce

uponaparttoplay,whichmyfruitfulimaginationsuggested,I

putonanairofinordinatesurprise,andventuredatallhazards

toliftmyeyesupwardtoapurerregion.Thenturningtomy

father-in-law,withanexpressionoffeelingwhichnothingbut

hypocrisycouldpersonate:Ah!SignordeMoyadas,isitpossible

that,onmyarrivalatMerida,Ishouldenjoytheheartfelt

triumphofrescuingfromfoulassassinationthehonouredparent

ofmypeerlesslove?Thisexclamationproducedallthe

astonishmentitwaslevelledtoexciteintheoldcitizen.Even

Moralezhimselfstaredlikeanhonestman,andshewedbyhisface

thattherewasadegreeofimpudencetowhichhisconceptionshad

nothithertorisen.What!donotmyearsdeceiveme?exclaimed

theoldgentleman.Andareyoureallythesonofmybrother’s

correspondent?Reallyandtruly,SignorJeromedeMoyadas,

rejoinedIwithimpregnableeffrontery,andahugroundhisneck

thathadnearlysenthimafterhisbrother.Beholdtheselected

mortalofhisspecies,towhosearmstheadorableFlorenceis

devoted!Butthesenuptialanticipations,transportingasthey

are,mustyieldtotheanguishofmysoulforthedemiseoftheir

founder.PoorAustin!Heisgone,andwemustallfollow!I

shouldbeingratitudepersonified,ifmyheartwasnotlacerated

andrentbythedeathofamantowhomIoweallmyhopesof

bliss.Atthetermofthisperiod,IsqueezedgoodJerome’s

wezandoncemore,anddrewthebackofmyhandacrossmyeyes,to

wipeawaythetearsithadnotbeenconvenienttoshed.Moralez,

whobythistimehadconnedovertheprettypickingstobemade

outofthisjuggle,wasnotwantingtoplayhisunderpart.He

passedhimselfoffformyservant,andimproveduponhismaster

inlamentationfortheuntimelydeathofSignorAustin.My

honouredmasterJerome,exclaimedhe,whatalosshaveyou

sustained,sinceyourbrotherisnomore!Hewassuchanhonest

man.Honestmenarenottobemetwitheveryday.Asuperfine

sampleofcommerce!Adealerinfriendshipwithoutapercentage!

Adealerinmerchandisewithoutanunderhandadvantage!Adealer

whodealtasdealersveryseldomdodeal!

Wehadourhandstoplayagainstamanwhowasanoviceatthe

game.Simpleandcullible,sofarfromsmellingouttherat,he

tookhisstinkforanosegay.Andwhy,saidhe,didyounotcome

straighttomyhouse?Itwasnotfriendlytoputupataninn.On

thefootingwearelikelytobeupon,thereshouldbenoneof

thosepunctilios.Sir,saidMoralez,helpingmeoutofthe

scrape,mymasterisalittletoomuchgiventostandupon

ceremony.Thoughtobesure,inthepresentinstance,heisin

somedegreeexcusablefordecliningtoappearbeforeinthis

uncouthtrim.Wehavebeenrobbedupontheroad,andhavelost

allourtravellingequipage.Mylad,interruptedI,hasletthe

catoutofthebag,SignordeMoyadas.Thisunluckyaccidenthas

preventedmefrompayingmyrespectssooner.Trueloveis

diffident;norcouldIventureinthisgarbintothepresenceof

amistresswhowasunacquaintedwithmyperson.Iwastherefore

waitingthereturnofaservantwhomIhavesenttoCalatrava.

Suchatrifle,rejoinedtheoldman,mustnotdepriveusofyour

company;andIinsistuponit,thatyoumakemyhouseyourhome

fromthisverymoment.

Withsuchsortofimportunity,heforcedmeintohisfamily:but

aswewereonourway,thepretendedrobberywasanaturaltopic

ofconversation;andIshouldhavemadelightofmybaggage,

thoughthelosswasveryconsiderable,hadnotFlorence’spicture

unluckilyformedapartofthebooty!Theoldcodgerchuckledat

that,andobserved,thatsuchalosswaseasilyrepaired:the

originalwasworthfivehundredpercent.morethanthecopy.To

makemeamends,assoonaswegothome,hecalledhisdaughter,a

girlofnotmorethansixteen,withapersontohavereclaimeda

libertine,ifbeautyeverpossessedthatpowerexceptinromance.

Youbehold,saidhe,thebaleofgoodsmylatebrotherhas

consignedtoyou.Oh!mygoodsir,exclaimedIinanimpassioned

tone,wordsarenotwantingtoassuremethatthismustbethe

lovelyFlorence:thosebewitchingfeaturesareengravenonmy

memory,theirimpressionisindelibleonmyheart.Ifthe

portraitIhavelost,themereoutlineoftheseembodiedcharms,

couldkindlepassionbyitscoldandlifelesslikeness,judge

whatmustbemyagitation,mytransportatthismoment.Such

languageistooflatteringtobesincere,saidFlorence;noramI

soweakandvainastobepersuadedthatmymeritswarrantit.

Thatisright!interchangeyourfinespeeches,mychildren!This

wasagood-naturedencouragementfromthefather,whoatonce

leftmealonewithhisdaughter,andtakingMoralezaside,said

tohim;Myfriend,thosewhomadesofreewithyourbaggage,

doubtlessdidnotstanduponanyceremonywithyourmoney.Very

true,sir,answeredmycolleague;anoverpoweringbandofrobbers

poureddownuponusnearCastil-Blazo,andleftusnotaragbut

whatwecarryonourbacks:butweareinmomentaryexpectation

ofreceivingbillsofexchange,andthenweshallappearonce

morelikeourselves.

Whileyouarewaitingforyourbillsofexchange,repliedtheold

man,takingapurseoutofhispocket,hereareahundred

pistoleswithwhichyoumaydoasyouplease.Oh,sir!rejoined

Moralez,asifhewereshocked,mymasterwillnevertakethem.

Youdonotknowhim.Heavenandearth!heisamanofthenicest

scruplesinmoneymatters.Notoneofyourshabbyfellows,always

spunginguponhisfriends,andreadytotakeupmoneywhereverhe

cangetit!Runningindebtisratsbanetohim.Ifheistobeg

hisbreadorgointoanhospital,whythereisanendofit!but

asforborrowing,hewillneverbereducedtothat.Somuchthe

better!saidthegoodburgess:Ivaluehimthemoreforhis

independence.Runningindebtisameanthing;itoughttobe

ratsbanetohimandeverybodyelse.Yourpeopleofquality,tobe

sure,maypleadprescriptionintheirfavour;thereisasortof

privilegedswindling,notincompatiblewithhighhonour,inhigh

life.Iftradesmenweretobepaid,theywouldbetoonearlyona

levelwiththeiremployers.Butasyourmasterhassuchupright

principles,heavenforbidtheyshouldbeviolatedinthishouse!

Sinceanyofferofpecuniaryassistancewouldhurthisfeelings,

wemustsaynomoreaboutit.Asthepointseemedtobesettled,

thepursewasforsteeringitscoursebackagainintothepocket;

butmyprovidentpartnerlaidholdofSignordeMoyadasbythe

arm,anddelayedtheconvoy.Stay,sir,saidhe,whatever

aversionmymastermayhavetoborrowingonageneralprinciple,

andconsideredasborrowing,yetthereisalightinwhich,with

goodmanagement,hemaybebroughttolookkindlyonyourhundred

pistoles.Infact,itisonlyinamercantilepointofview,as

anaffairofdebtorandcreditorbetweenstrangers,thatheholds

thisformaldoctrine;butheisfreeandeasyenoughwhereheis

onafamilyfooting.Why,thereishisownfather!Itisonlyask

andhave;andhedoesaskandhaveaccordingly.Nowyouaregoing

tobeasecondfathertohim,andarefairlyentitledtobeput

onthesameconfidentialfooting.Heisayoungmanofnice

discrimination,andwilldoubtlessthinkyouentitledtothe

compliment.

Bythusshiftinghisground,Moralezgotpossessionoftheold

gentleman’spurse.Asforthegirlandmyself,wewereengagedin

alittleagreeableflirting;butweresoonjoinedbyourhonoured

parent,whointerruptedourt�te-�-t�te.HetoldFlorencehow

muchhewasobligedtome,andexpressedhisgratitudetomyself,

intermswhichleftnodoubtofourbeingaveryhappyfamily.I

madethemostofsofavourableadisposition,bytellingthegood

man,thatifhewouldbestowonmeanacknowledgmentthenearest

tomyheart,hemusthastenmymarriagewithhisdaughter.My

eagernesswasnottakenamiss.Heassuredme,thatinthreedays

atlatestIshouldbeahappybridegroom,andthatinsteadofsix

thousandsducats,thefortunehehadpromisedtogivemywife,he

wouldmakeitupten,asasubstantialproofhowdeeplyhefelt

himselfindebtedtomefortheserviceIhadrenderedhim.

Herewewere,therefore,quiteathomewithourgoodfriend

JeromedeMoyadas,sumptuouslyentertained,andcatchingevery

nowandthenavistavisionoftenthousandducats,withwhichwe

proposedtomarchoffabruptlyfromMerida.Ourtransports,

however,werenotwithouttheiralloy.Itwasbynomeans

improbablethatwithinthreedaysthebon�fidesonofJuanVelez

delaMembrillamightcomeandinterruptoursport.Thisfearhad

foritsfoundationmorethantheweaknessofournerves.Onthe

verynextmorning,asortofclodpole,withaportmanteauacross

hisshoulders,knockedatthedoorofFlorence’sfather.Iwas

notathomeatthetime,butmycolleaguehadtobearthebrunt

ofit.Sir,saidtherustictooursagaciousfriend,Ibelongto

theyounggentlemanatCalatravawhoistobeyourson-in-law—

toSignordelaMembrilla.Wehavebothjustcomeoffour

journey:hewillbehereinaninstant,andsentmeforwardto

prepareyouforhisarrival.Hardlyhadtheseunaccountable

tidingsbeenannounced,whenthemasterappearedinperson;which

stretchedtheoldfellow’sblinkersintoastare,andputMoralez

alittletotheblush.

YoungPedrowaswhatwecallatallfellowofhisinches.He

beganatoncepayinghiscomplimentstothemasterofthehouse;

butthegoodmandidnotgivehimtimetofinishhisspeech;and

turningtowardsmypartnerininiquity,askedwhatwasthe

meaningofallthis.HereuponMoralez,whosepoweroffacewas

nottobeexceededbyanyhumanimpudence,boldlyassertedour

identity,andsaidtotheoldgentleman—Sir,thesetwomen

herebeforeyoubelongtothegangwhichpillagedusonthe

highway.Ihaveaperfectrecollectionoftheirfeatures;andin

particularcouldsweartohimwhohastheeffronterytocall

himselfthesonofSignorJuanVelezdelaMembrilla.Theold

citizengulpeddowntheliesofMoralezlikenectar,andtoldthe

intruders,onthesuppositionoftheirbeingtheimpostors—

Gentlemen,youarecomethedayafterthefair;thetrickwasa

verygoodone,butitwillnotpass;theenemyhastakenthe

groundbeforeyou.PedrodelaMembrillahasbeenunderthisroof

sinceyesterday.Haveallyourwitsaboutyou,answeredtheyoung

manfromCalatrava;youarenursingaviperinyourbosom.Be

assuredthatJuanVelezdelaMembrillahasneitherchicknor

childbutmyself.Andwhatrelationisthehangmantoyou?

repliedtheolddupe:youarebetterknownthanlikedinthis

house.Canyoulookthisyoungmanintheface?orcanyoudeny

thatyourobbedhismaster?IfIwereanywherebutunderyour

roof,rejoinedPedroinarage,Iwouldpunishtheinsolenceof

thisscoundrelwhofanciestopassmeoffforahighwayman.Heis

indebtedforhissafetytoyourpresence,whichputsacurbupon

mycholer.Goodsir,pursuedhe,youaregrosslyimposedon.Iam

thefavouredyouthtowhomyourbrotherAustinhaspromisedyour

daughter.Isityourpleasureformetoproducethewhole

correspondencewithmyfatheronthesubjectoftheimpending

match?WillyoubesatisfiedwithFlorence’spicturesentmeby

himasapresentalittlewhilebeforehisdeath?

No,putintheoldburgesscrustily;thepicturewillworkjust

asstronglyonmyconvictionastheletters.Iamperfectlyaware

bywhatchancetheyallfellintoyourhands;andifyouwill

takeastupidfellow’sadvice,Meridawillsoonberidofsuch

rubbish.Aquickmarchmaysaveyouatrouncing.Thisisbeyond

allbearing,screamedouttheyoungroysterwithanoverwhelming

vehemence.Mynameshallneverbestolenfromme,andassumedby

acommoncheatwithimpunity;neithershallmypersonbe

confoundedwiththatofafreebooter.Therearethoseinthis

townwhocanidentifyme:theyareforthcoming,andshallexpose

thefallacybywhichyouareprejudicedagainstme.Withthis

assurancehewithdrew,attendedbyhisservant,andMoralezkept

possessionofthefield.Theadventurehadeventheeffectof

determiningJeromedeMoyadastofixtheweddingforthevery

timebeing.Accordinglyhewenthisway,forthepurposeof

givingthenecessaryordersforthecelebration.

Thoughmycolleagueinknaverywaswellenoughpleasedtosee

Florence’sfatherinahumoursopatforourpurposes,hewasnot

withoutcertainscruplesofconscienceaboutoursafety.Itwas

tobefeared,lesttheprobableproceedingsofPedromightbe

followedupbyawkwardconsequences;sothathewaited

impatientlyformyarrival,tomakemeacquaintedwithwhathad

occurred.Ifoundhimoverheadandearsinabrownstudy.What

isthematter,myfriend?saidI,seeminglythereissomething

uponyourmind.Indeedthereis;andsomethingthatwillbe

minded,answeredhe.Atthesametimeheletmeintotheaffair.

Nowyoumayjudge,addedheafterapause,whetherwehavenot

somefoodforreflection.Itisyourillstar,rashcontriver,

whichhasthrownusintothisperplexity.Theidea,itmusthe

confessed,wasfulloffireandingenuity;haditansweredinthe

application,yourrenownwouldhavebeenemblazonedinthe

chroniclesofourfraternity;butaccordingtopresent

appearances,therunofluckisagainstus,andmycounsels

inclinetoaprudentavoidanceofallexplanations,byquietly

sneakingoffwiththemarket-pennywehavemadeofthesillyold

fellow’scredulity.

MasterMoralez,repliedItothisdespondingspeech,yougiveway

todifficultieswithmorehastethangoodspeed.Such

pusillanimitydoesbutlittlehonourtoDonMatthiasdeCordel,

andtheothergallantbladeswithwhomyouwereaffiliatedat

Toledo.Afterservingacampaignundersuchexperiencedgenerals,

itisnotsoldierlytoshrinkfromtheperilsofthefield.For

mypart,Iamresolvedtofightthebattlesoftheseheroesover

again,or,inmorevulgarphrase,toprovemyselfachipfromthe

oldblocks.Theprecipicewhichmakesyourheadturngiddyonly

stiffensmysinewstosurmountthetoilsoftheway,andpush

forwardtotheendofourcareer.Ifyouarriveatyourjourney’s

endinawholeskin,saidmycompanion,Iwillmyselfbeyour

biographer,andsetyourfamefarabovealltheparallelsof

Plutarch.

JustasMoralezwasfinishingthislearnedallusion,Jeromede

Moyadascamein.Youshallbemyson-in-lawthisveryevening,

saidhe.Yourservantmusthavegivenyouanaccountofwhathas

justpassed.Whatsayyoutotheimpudenceofthescoundrelwho

wantedtomakemebelievethathewasthesonofmybrother’s

correspondent?Honouredsir,answeredI,withamelancholyair,

andinatoneofvoicethemostinsinuatingthatevercajoledthe

easyfaithofadotard,Ifeelwithinmethatitisnotinmy

naturetocarryonanimpositionwithoutbetrayingitinmy

countenance.Itnowbecomesnecessarytomakeyouasincere

confession.IamnotthesonofJuanVelezdelaMembrilla.What

isityoutellme?interruptedtheoldman,outofbreathwith

surprise,andoutofhiswitswithapprehension.Sothen!youare

nottheyoungmantowhommybrother…..Forpity’ssake,

sir,interruptedIinmyturn,condescendtogivemeahearing

patientlytotheendofmystory.FortheseeightdayshaveI

dotedtodistractiononyourdaughter;andthisdotage,this

distraction,hasrivetedmetoMerida.Yesterday,afterhaving

rescuedyoufromyourdanger,Iwasmakingupmymindtoaskher

ofyouinmarriage;butyougaveachecktomypassionandputa

tieuponmytongue,bytheintelligencethatshewasdestinedfor

another.Youtoldmethatyourbrother,onhisdeath-bed,

enjoinedyoutogivehertoPedrodelaMembrilla;thatyourword

waspledged,andthatyouweretheswornvassalandbondmanof

yourveracity.Thesecircumstances,itmustbeowned,were

overwhelmingintheextreme;andmyromanticpassion,atthelast

gaspofitsdespair,gainedbreathbythestratagemwithwhich

thegodofloveinspiredme.Imustatthesametimedeclarethat

atrickisatthebestbutameanthing,and,howeversanctified

bythemotive,myconsciencerecoiledatthedelusion.YetI

couldnotbutthinkthatmypardonwouldbegrantedonthe

discovery,whenitshouldcomeoutthatIwasanItalianprince

travellingthroughthiscountryasaprivategentleman.My

fatherreignssupremeoveranestofinaccessiblevalleys,lying

betweenSwitzerland,theMilanese,andSavoy.Itcouldnotbut

occurtomethatyouwouldbeagreeablysurprisedwhenIshould

unfoldtoyoumybirth,andhavingmarriedFlorenceundermy

fictitiouscharacter,shouldannouncetohertherankshehad

attained,withalltheraptureofanenamouredhusband,andall

thestageeffectofaherointragedyorromance.Butheaven,

pursuedI,withanhypocriticalsofteningdownofmyaccents,has

visitedmysinsbycuttingmeofffromsuchaperennialstreamof

joy.PedrodelaMembrillawasintroduceduponthescene;hemust

havehisnamebackagain,whatevertherestitutionmaycostme.

Yourpromisebindsyouhandandfoottofixuponhimforyour

son-in-law;itisyourdutytogivehimthepreference,without

takingmyrankandstationintotheaccount;withoutmercyonthe

forlornconditiontowhichyouaregoingtoreduceme.Tobe

sure,itmightbesaid,butthenIshouldsayitwhooughtnotto

sayit,thatyourbrotherhadonlytheauthorityofanuncleover

yourdaughter,thatyouareherfather,andthatthereismore

rightandreasonindischarginganactualdebtofgratitude

towardsyourpreserver,thaninbeingmealy-mouthedabouta

verbalpromisewhichwouldpressbutlightlyontheconscienceof

themostscrupulouscasuist.

Yes,withoutdoubt,thatargumentisindisputable,exclaimed

JeromedeMoyadas;andonthatgroundtherecannolongerbeany

questionbetweenyouandPedrodelaMembrilla.Ifmybrother

Austinwerestillliving,hewouldnotthinkitbadmoralityto

givethepreferencetoamanwhohassavedmylife,norabad

speculationtoclosethebargainwithaprincewhohasnot

disdainedtocourtouralliance.Itwereanabsolutesuicideon

thepartofallmyopeningprospects;thefranticdesperationof

anacknowledgedincurable,nottodisposeofmydaughterso

illustriously,nottosolicityourhighness’sacceptanceofher

hand.Andyet,sir,resumedI,thesethingsarenottobe

determinedwithoutduedeliberation;lookatyourowninterests

andsafetywithamicroscopiceye,forthoughtheillustrious

channelthroughwhichmybloodhasflowedforages….You

arescarcelyserious,interruptedhe,insupposingthatIcan

hesitateforamoment.No,mayitpleaseyourhighness;itismy

mosthumbleandearnestrequestthatyouwilldeign,onthisvery

evening,tohonourthehappyFlorencewithyourhand.Well,then!

saidI,beitso;goyourselfandbethebeareroftheunlooked-fortidings,

announcetoherthebrilliantcareerofherexalted

destiny.

Whilethegoodcitizenwasputtinghisbestfootforemost,to

instilintohisdaughterthatshehadmadetheconquestofa

prince,Moralez,whohadtakeninthewholeconversationwith

greedyear,threwhimselfuponhiskneesbeforeme,anddid

homageinthesebanteringterms.Mostpotent,grave,andaugust

Italianprince,sonofasovereign,supremeoveranestof

inaccessiblevalleys,lyingbetweenSwitzerland,theMilanese,

andSavoy,permitmetohumblemyselfatyourhighness’sfeet,in

humbleacknowledgmentoftheecstasyintowhichyouhavethrown

me.Bythehonourofaswindler,youareoneofthewondersof

ourworld.Ialwaysthoughtmyselfthefirstmanintheline;but

ingoodtruthIdoffmybonnetbeforeyou,whosegeniusseemsto

supersedethelessonsofexperience.Thenyouarenolonger

uneasyabouttheresult,saidItomycolleagueininiquity.Oh!

astothat,notintheleast,answeredhe.Inolongercareafig

forMasterPedro;lethimcomeassoonashepleases,wearea

matchforhim.Hereweare,then,Moralezandmyself,safeseated

onthesaddle,andrisinginourstirrups.Weevenwentsofaras

tobeginsettlingthecourseweshouldpursuewiththefortune,

onwhichwereckonedsosecurely,thatifithadalreadybeenin

ourpockets,wecouldnothavechuckledmoretriumphantlyover

theproverbof“abirdinthehand.”Yetwewerenotinactual

possession,whichismorethanlegalright:andthesequelofthe

adventureprovedtous,thatmanythingsfalloutbetweenthecup

andthelip.

WeverysoonsawtheyoungmanofCalatravareturning.Hewas

accompaniedbytwocitizensandbyanalguazil,whosedignitywas

asmuchsupportedbyhiswhiskers,andbytheloweringovercast

ofhisswarthyaspect,asbytheweightofhisofficial

character.Florence’sfatherwasoftheparty.SignordeMoyadas,

saidPedrotohim,herearethreehonestpeoplecometoanswer

forme;theyareacquaintedwithmyperson,andcantellyouwho

Iam.Yes,undoubtedly,exclaimedthealguazil,Icandeposeto

thefact.Icertifytoallthosewhomitmayconcern,thatyou

areknowntome:yournameisPedro,andyouaretheonlysonof

JuanValezdelaMembrilla:whosoeverdarestomaintainthe

contraryisanimpostor.Ibelieveyouimplicitly,master

alguazil,saidthegoodcreatureJeromedeMoyadas,ratherdrily.

Yourevidenceisgospeltome,aswellasthatofthesefairand

honesttradesmenyouhavebroughtwithyou.Iamfullysatisfied

thattheyounggentlemanonwhosebehalfyoucomeistheonlyson

ofmybrother’scorrespondent.Butwhatisthattome?Iamno

longerinthehumourtogivehimmydaughter,sothereisanend

ofthat.

Oh!thenitisquiteanothermatter,saidthealguazil.Ionly

cometoyourhouseforthepurposeofassuringyouthatthis

youngmanisnoimpostor.Youhavetheauthorityofaparentover

yourchild,andnoonehasanyrighttodictatetoyouhowyou

aretomarryher,andwhetheryouwillorno.NeitherdoI,onmy

part,interruptedPedro,pretendtolayanyforceonthe

inclinationsofSignordeMoyadas;buthewillperhapsallowme

toaskhimwhyhehassosuddenlychangedhisresolution.Hashe

anyreasontobedissatisfiedwithme?Alas!letmeatleast

understand,thatinlosingthesweethopeofbecominghisson-in-law,mypromisedblisshasnotbeenwrestedfrommebyany

misconductofmyown.Ihavenocomplainttomakeofyou,

answeredtheoldman;nay,Iwilleventellyoumore;itiswith

sinceresorrowthatIfindmyselfunderthenecessityofbreaking

mywordwithyou,andIheartilybeseechyoutoforgivemefor

havingdoneso.Iampersuadedthatyouaretoogeneroustobear

meanyill-willforhavingthrownthebalanceintothescaleofa

rival,whohassavedmylife.Youseehimhere,pursuedhe,

introducingmynobleself,thisistheillustriouspersonagewho

threwroundmetheshieldofhisprotectioninmygreatperil:

and,thebetterstilltoapologizeformyseeminglyharsh

treatmentofyourself,youaretoknowthatheisanItalian

prince.

Attheselastwords,Pedrowasdumbfounded,andlookedasifhe

couldnothelpit.Thetwotradesmenopenedtheireyesaswideas

theycouldstare,withsurpriseatfindingthemselvesforthe

firsttimeinprincelysociety.Butthealguazil,inthehabitof

lookingatthingswiththecrosseyeofsuspicion,divinedmost

perspicuouslythatthismarvellousadventuremustbeacomplete

humbug;andtheverificationoftheprophecywascalculatedto

putmoneyintothepocketoftheprophet.Hethereforeconned

overmycountenancewithaveryinquisitiveregard;butasmy

features,whichwerenewtojustice,threwhimoutmostcruelly

fromhuntingdownthegamehewasinchaseof,hehadno

alternativebuttotryhisluckonmycompanion.Unfortunately

formyhighnessoftheinaccessiblevalleys,heknewagainthe

hangdogfeaturesofMoralez;andrecollectingtohaveseenhim

withinthepurlieusofagaol,Ay,ay!exclaimedhe,thisisone

ofmyestablishedcustomers.Thisgentlemanisaparticular

acquaintanceofmine,andyoumaytakehischaracterfrommefor

oneoftherankestrascalswithinthekingdomsandprincipalities

ofSpain.Softly,lookbeforeyouleap,mostadventurous

alguazil,saidJeromedeMoyadas;thislad,ofwhomyoudrawso

unfavourableapicture,isinthetravellingretinueofaprince.

Somuchthebetter,retortedthealguazil;amanwouldnotdesire

clearerevidenceonwhichtobringinhisverdict.Ifwecanbut

hangtheservant,weshallsoonsendthemastertothedevil.The

caseisasundeniableasafeedcounsel’splea;thesepleasant

sparksareacoupleoffortune-hunters,whohavelaidtheirheads

togethertotakeyouin.Iamanoldhounduponthisscent;so

that,bywayofproofpresumptivethatthesemerryvagabondsare

withinthecontemplationofthelawinthatcaseprovided,I

shalllodgethemwheretheywillbewelltakencareof.Theywill

haveplentyoftimeformeditationunderthechastising

philosophyofaturnkey;orshouldconfinementfailtomendtheir

morals,wehaveasortoftangiblediscipline,whichinsinuates

reformationbytheinletofasmartinghide.Stopthere,and

bethinkyouingoodtime,masterofficer,rejoinedtheold

gentleman;wemustnotdrawthecordtighterthanitwillbear.

Younevermakeanybones,youhangers-onofthelaw,about

hurtingthefeelingsofbettermenthanyourselves.Maynotthis

servantbeacommoncheat,withouthismasterbeingaswindler?

Princesarepersonsofhonourasamatterofcourse;yetthe

retainerstoacourtareinordinaterascals;itrequiresno

conjurertofindthatout.Areyouplayingintothehandsofyour

deluders,withyourprinces?interruptedthealguazil.Thisnew

manufactureroffalsepretencesisaproficient,takemywordfor

it;butIshallquenchhiszealintheservice,andgravelthe

ingenuityofhispartner,withawhereasandacommitmentindue

form.Thescoutsofjusticeareallroundthedoor,whowill

worrytheirgameeveryinchofthechase,iftheydonotsuffer

themselvestobetakenquietlyontheirform.Socomealong,may

itpleaseyourserenehighness,letusproceedtoour

destination.

Thisupshotofthebusinesswasadeath-blowtome,aswellasto

Moralez;andourconfusiondidbutinfusedoubtsintothemindof

JeromedeMoyadas,orratherburned,sunk,anddestroyedusin

hisesteem.Hebeganrathertothink,notwithoutreason,thatwe

hadsomelittledesigntoimposeonhiscredulity.Nevertheless

heactedonthisoccasioninthespiritofamanofhonouranda

gentleman.Mygoodfriendandprotector,saidhetothealguazil,

yourconjecturesmaybewithoutfoundation;ontheotherhand,

theymayturnouttohavetoomuchtruthinthem.Whicheverof

thesealternativesmaybethefact,letusnotlooktoocuriously

intotheircharacters.Theyarebothyoung,andhavetimeenough

foramendmentiftheywantit;letthemgotheirways,and

withdrawwhithersoeveritmaybestpleasethem.Makeno

opposition,Ibeseechyou,totheirsafeegress;itisafavour

whichyoumayconsiderasdonetome,andmymotiveforaskingit

istoacquitmyselfofmydebttothem.Ifmyheartwasnottoo

softformyprofession,answeredthealguazil,Ishouldlodge

theseprettygentlemeninlimbo,indefianceofallyour

pleadingsintheirfavour;butyoureloquenceandmy

susceptibilityhaverelaxedthesterndemeanourofjusticefor

thisevening.Letthem,however,leavetownonthespurofthe

occasion:forifIcomeacrossthemto-morrow,andthereisany

faithinanalguazil,theyshallseesuchsportaswillbeno

sporttothem.

WhenitwassignifiedtoMoralezandme,culpritsaswewere,

thatweweretobeletoffscotfree,wepolishedupthebrass

uponourforeheadsalittle.Itwastimenowtobounceand

swagger,andtomaintainthatweweremenofundeniable

respectability;butthealguazillookedaskewatus,andmuttered

thatleastsaidwassoonestmended.Idonotknowhow,butthose

gentryhaveastrangeknackofcurbingourgenius;theyare

completelordsoftheascendant.Florenceandherdowrytherefore

werelosttoPedrodelaMembrillabyaturnofthedice,andwe

mayconcludethathewasreceivedastheson-in-lawofJeromede

Moyadas.Itooktomyheelswithmycompanion.Weblunderedon

theroadtoTruxillo,withtheconsolationatourheartsof

havingatleastpocketedahundredpistolesbyourfrolic.An

hourbeforenight-fallwepassedthroughalittlevillagewith

theintentionofputtingupfortheeveningatthenextstage.An

innofverytolerableappearancefortheplaceattractedour

notice.Thelandlordandlandladyweresittingatthedoor,ona

longbenchsuchasusuallygracesapothouseporch.Ourhost,a

tallman,withered,andwithonefootinthegrave,wastinkling

onacrackedguitartotheunboundedemolumentofhiswife,whose

facultiesseemedtohanginraptureontheperformance.

Gentlemen,criedouttheintrepidtavern-keeper,whenhefound

thatwewerenotuponthehalt,youwilldowelltostophere;

youmayfareworsefurtheroff.Thereisadevilofathree

leaguestothenearestvillage,andyouwillfindnothingtomake

youamendsforwhatyouleavebehind;youmayassureyourselves

ofthat.Takeawordofadvice,knowwhenyouarewellused;I

willtreatyouwiththefatoftheland,andchargeyouatthe

lowestrate.Therewasnoresistingsuchaplea.Wecameupto

ourcourteousentertainers,paidthemthecomplimentsofcourse,

andsittingdownbytheirside,theconversationwassupportedby

allfourontheindifferenttopicsoftheday.Ourhostannounced

himselfasanofficeroftheHolyBrotherhood,andhisribwasa

fatlaughingsquabofawoman,withoutwardgood-nature,butwith

aneyetomakethemostofhercommodities.

Ourdiscoursewasbrokeninuponbythearrivaloffromtwelveto

fifteenriders,somemountedonmules,othersonhorseback,

followedbyaboutthirtysumpter-mulesladenwithpackages.Ah!

whataprincelyretinue!exclaimedthelandlordatthesightof

somuchcompany:wherecanIputthemall?Inaninstantthe

villagewascrammedfullofmenandbeasts.Asluckwouldhave

it,therewasneartheinnanimmensebarn,wherethesumpter

mulesandtheirpackagesweresecured;thesaddle-mulesand

horsesweretakencareofinotherplaces.Asfortheirmasters,

theythoughtlessaboutbespeakingbedsthanaboutcallingfor

thebilloffare,andorderingagoodsupper.Thehostand

hostess,withaservantgirlwhomtheykept,werealluponthe

alerttomakethingsagreeable.Theylaidaheavyhanduponall

thefowlsinthepoultry-yard.Thesepreciousroasts,withsome

undisguisedrabbits,catsinthemasqueradeofafricassee,anda

delugingtureenofsoup,stinkingofcabbageandgreasywith

muttonfat,wereenoughtohavegivenasickenertothe

inveteratestomachsofaregiment.

AsforMoralezandmyself,wecastascrutinizingeyeonthese

troopers,norweretheybehindhandinpassingtheirsecret

judgmentsuponus.Atlastwecametogetherinconversation,and

itwasproposedonourpart,iftheyhadnoobjection,thatwe

shouldallsuptogether.Theyassuredusthattheyshouldbe

extremelyhappyinourcompany.Hereweare,then,allseated

roundthetable.Therewasoneamongthemwhoseemedtotakethe

lead;andforwhomtherest,thoughinthemaintheywereonthe

mostintimatetermswithhim,thoughtitnecessaryonsome

occasionstotestifytheirdeference.Incaseofadispute,this

highgentlemanassumedtheumpire,hetalkedinatoneabovethe

commonpitch,goingsofarsometimesastocontradictinnovery

courtlyphrasethesentimentsofothers,who,farfromgivinghim

backhisown,werereadytosweartohisassertionsandcrouch

underhisrebuke.ByaccidentthediscourseturnedonAndalusia.

MoralezhappeningtolaunchoutintothepraiseofSeville,the

manaboutwhomIhavebeentalkingsaidtohim—Mygoodfellow-traveller,youareringingthechimesonthecitywhichgave

birthtome;atleastIamanativeoftheneighbourhood,since

thelittletownofMayrenaisanswerableformyappearanceinthe

world.Ihavethesamestorytotellyou,answeredmycompanion.

IamalsoofMayrena;anditisscarcelypossiblebutthatour

familiesshouldbeacquainted.Whosesonareyou?Anhonest

notary’s,repliedthestranger,bynameMartinMoralez.Asfate

willhaveit,exclaimedmycomradewithemotion,theadventureis

veryremarkable!Youarethenmyeldestbrother,ManuelMoralez?

Exactlyso,saidtheother,andifmysensesdonotdeceiveme,

youyourveryselfaremylittlebrotherLewis,whomIleftin

thecradlewhenIturnedmybackuponmyfather’shouse?Youare

rightinyourconjectures,answeredmyhonestcolleague.Atthis

discoverytheybothgotupfromtable,andalmosthuggedthe

breathoutofeachother’sbodies.AtlastSignorManuelsaidto

thecompany—Gentlemen,thiscircumstanceisaltogether

marvellous.Bymerechance,Ihavemetwithabrotherandhave

beenchallengedbyhim,whomIhavenotseenformorethantwenty

years:allowmetointroducehim.Atonceallthetravellers,who

hadrisenfromtheirseatsoutofcuriosityandgoodmanners,

paidtheircomplimentstotheyoungerMoralez,andmadehimrun

thegauntletthroughtheirsalutations.Whenthesewereover,the

partyreturnedtothetable,nordidtheythinkanymoreofan

adjournment.Bed-timeneverentered.intotheirheads.Thetwo

brotherssatnexttooneanother,andtalkedinawhisperabout

theirfamilyaffairs;theotherguestspliedthebottle,andmade

merryinalouderkey.

LewishadalongconferencewithManuel;andafterwards,taking

measide,saidtome:Allthesetroopersbelongtothehousehold

oftheCountdeMontanos,whomthekinghasverylatelyappointed

tothevice-regalgovernmentofMajorca.Theyareconvoyingthe

equipageoftheviceroytoAlicant,wheretheyaretoembark.My

brother,whohasrisentobestewardtothatnobleman,proposes

totakemealongwithhim;andonthedifficultyIstartedabout

leavingyou,hetoldmethatifyouwouldbeoftheparty,he

wouldprocureyouagoodberth.Mydearfriend,pursuedhe,I

adviseyounottostandoutagainstthisproposal.Letustake

flighttogetherfortheislandofMajorca.Ifwefindour

quarterspleasant,wewillfixthere;andiftheyareotherwise,

wehavenothingtodobuttoreturnintoSpain.

Iacceptedtheproposalwiththebestgracepossible.Whata

reinforcement,inthepersonofyoungMoralezandmyself,tothe

householdofthecount!Wetookourdepartureinabodyfromthe

inn,beforedaybreak.WegottothecityofAlicantbylong

stages,andthereIboughtaguitar,andarrangedmydressina

mannersuitedtomynewdestination,beforeweembarked.Nothing

raninmyheadbuttheislandofMajorca;andLewisMoralezwasa

newmanaswellasmyself.Itshouldseemasthoughwehadbid

farewelltotherogueriesofthiswickedworld.Yet,nottoplay

theliarintheearofsorigorousaconfessorasmyown

conscience,wehadamindnottopassforvillainsincarnate,now

thatwehadgotintocompanythathadsomepretensionsto

decency:andthatwasthesumtotalofourhonesty.Thenatural

bentofourgeniusremainedmuchthesame;wewerestillmenof

business,butjustnowkeepingavacation.Inshort,wewenton

boardgallantlyandgailyinthislucidintervalofinnocence,

andhadnoideabutoflandingatMajorcaundertheespecialcare

ofNeptuneandAEolus.Hardly,however,hadweclearedthegulf

ofAlicant,whenasuddenandviolentstormarose,enoughtohave

frightenedbettermen.Nowismyopportunity,ornever,tospeak

ofmovingaccidentsbyflood;tosettheatmosphereonfire,and

givealouderexplosiontothethunder-cloud;tocomparethe

whistlingofthewindstothefactionsofapopulace,andthe

rollingofthewavestotheshockofconflictinghosts;with

othersuchold-fashionedphraseologiesashavebeenheirloomsof

Parnassusfromtimeimmemorial.Butitisuselesstobepoetical

withoutinvention.Sufficeitthereforetosay,inslang

metaphor,thatthestormwasadevilofastorm,andobligedus

tostandinforthepointofCabrera.Thisisadesertisland,

withasmallfort,atthattimegarrisonedbyanofficerandfive

orsixsoldiers.Ourreceptionwashospitableandcordial.

Asitwasnecessaryforustostaytheresomedays,forthe

purposeofrefittingoursailsandrigging,wedevisedvarious

kindsofamusementstokeepoffthefoulfiend,melancholy.Every

onedidasseemedgoodinhisowneyes:someplayedatcards,

othersdivertedthemselvesinotherways;butasforme,Iwent

aboutexploringtheisland,withsuchofourgentryashadeither

acuriosityoratasteforthepicturesque.Wewerefrequently

obligedtoclamberfromrocktorock;forthefaceofthecountry

isrugged,andthesoilscanty,presentingascenedifficultof

access,butinterestingfromitswildness.Oneday,whilewewere

speculatingonthesedryandbarrenprospects,andextractinga

moralfromthevagariesofnature,whocanswellintothe

fruitfulmotherandthecopiousnurse,orshrinkintothelean

andloathsomeskeletonasshepleases,oursensewasallatonce

regaledwithamostdeliciousfragrance.Weturnedaswitha

commonimpulsetowardstheeast,whencethescentedgaleseemed

tocome.Toourutterastonishment,wediscoveredamongtherocks

agreenplatofconsiderabledimensions,gaywithhoneysuckles

moreluxuriantandmoreodorousthaneventhosewhichthriveso

greatlyintheclimateofAndalusia.Wewerenotsorryto

approachnearerthesedeliciousshrubs,whichwerewastingtheir

sweetnessinsuchuncheckedprofusion,whenitturnedoutthat

theylinedtheentranceofaverydeepcavern.Theopeningwas

wide,andtherecessinconsequencepartiallyilluminated.We

weredeterminedtoexplore;anddescendedbysomestonesteps

overgrownwithflowersoneachside,sothatitwasdifficultto

saywhethertheapproachwasformedbyartornature.Whenwehad

gotdown,wesawseverallittlestreamswindingoverasand,the

yellowlustreofwhichoutrivalledgold.Thesedrewtheirsources

fromthecontinualdistillationsoftherockwithin,andlost

themselvesagaininthehollowsoftheground.Thewaterlooked

soclear,thatweweretemptedtodrinkofit;andsuchwasits

freshness,thatwemadeapartytoreturnthenextday,withsome

bottlesofgenerouswine,whichwewerepersuadedwouldacquire

newzestfromtheretreatwheretheyweretobequaffed.

Itwasnotwithoutregretthatweleftsoagreeableaplace:nor

didweomit,onourreturntothefort,boastingamongour

comradesofsointerestingadiscovery.Thecommanderofthe

fortress,however,withthewarmestprofessionsoffriendship,

warnedusagainstgoinganymoretothecavern,withwhichwe

weresomuchdelighted.Andwhyso?saidI,isthereanythingto

beafraidof?Mostundoubtedly,answeredhe.Thecorsairsof

AlgiersandTripolisometimeslanduponthisisland,forthe

purposeofwateringatthatspring.Onedaytheysurprisedtwo

soldiersofmygarrisonthere,whomtheycarriedintoslavery.It

wasinvainthattheofficerassumedatoneofkinddissuasion;

nothingcouldpreventusfromgoing.Wefanciedthathemeantto

playuponourfears;andthedayfollowingIreturnedtothe

cavernwiththreeadventurousbladesofourestablishment.We

wereevenfool-hardyenoughtoleaveourfire-armsbehindasa

sortofbravado.YoungMoralezdeclinedbeingoftheparty:the

fortandthegaming-tablehadmorecharmsforhim,aswellasfor

hisbrother.

Wewentdowntothebottomofthecave,asontheprecedingday,

andsetsomebottlesofthewinewehadbroughtwithustocool

intherivulets.Whilewewereenjoyingtheminalltheluxuryof

elegantconviviality,ourwitssetinmotionbythenoveltyof

thescene,andtheechoreverberatingtothemusicofour

guitars,weespiedatthemouthofthecavernseveralabominable

facesovergrownwithwhiskers;neitherdidtheirturbansand

Turkishdressesrenderthemawhitmoreamiableinourconceits.

Weneverthelesstookitintoourheadsthatitwasafrolicof

ourownparty,setonbythecommandingofficerofthefort,and

thattheyhaddisguisedthemselvesforthepurposeofplayingus

atrick.Withthisimpressiononourminds,wesetupahorse-laugh,andallowedaquietentrancetoaboutten,without

thinkingofmakinganyresistance.Inafewmomentsoureyeswere

openedtothatfatalerror,andwewereconvinced,insober

sadness,thatitwasacorsairattheheadofhiscrew,cometo

carryusaway.Surrender,youChristiandogs,criedheinmost

outlandishCastilian,orprepareforinstantdeath.Atthesame

timethemenwhoaccompaniedhimlevelledtheirpiecesatus,and

ourribswouldhavebeenwelllinedwiththecontents,ifwehad

resistedintheleast.Slaveryseemedthebetteralternativethan

death,sothatwedeliveredourswordstothepirate.Heordered

ustobehandcuffedandcarriedonboardhisvessel,whichwas

moorednotfaroff;then,settingsail,hesteeredwithafair

windtowardsAlgiers.

Thuswerewepunishedforhavingneglectedthewarninggivenus

bytheofficerofthegarrison.Thefirstthingthecorsairdid

wastoputhishandintoourpocketsandmakefreewithour

money.Nobadwindfallforhim!Thetwohundredpistolesfromthe

greenhornsatPlacentia;thehundredwhichMoralezhadreceived

fromJeromedeMoyadas,andwhich,asillluckwouldhaveit,

wereinmycustody;allthiswassweptawaywithoutasingle

qualmofconscience.Mycompanionstoohadtheirpurseswell

lined;anditwasallfishthatcametothenet.Thepirate

seemedtochuckleatsosuccessfuladrag;andthescoundrel,not

contentedwithchousingusofourcash,insulteduswithhis

infernalMoorishwitticisms:buttheedgeofhissatirewasnot

halfsokeenasthedirenecessitywhichmadeusthesubjectof

it.Afterathousandclumsysarcasms,hecalledforthebottles

whichwehadsettocoolinthefountain;thoseirreligious

Mahometansnothavingscrupledtoloadtheirconscienceswiththe

conveyanceoftheunholyfermentation.Themasterandhisman

pledgedoneanotherinmanyaChristianbumper,anddranktoour

betteracquaintancewithamostprovokingmockery.

Whilethisfarcewasacting,mycomradesworeahanginglook,

whichtestifiedhowpleasantlytheirthoughtswereemployed.They

weresomuchthemoreoutofconceitwiththeircaptivity,as

theythoughttheyhaddrawnaprizeinthelotteryofhumanlife.

TheislandofMajorca,withallitsluxuriesanddelights,wasa

melancholycontrastwiththeirpresentsituation.Formypart,I

hadthegoodsensetotakethingsasIfoundthem.Lessputout

ofmywaybymymisfortunethantherest,Ijoinedin

conversationwiththistransmarinejoker,andshewedhimthatwit

wasthecommonlanguageofAfricaandofEurope.Hewaspleased

withmyaccommodatingspirit.Youngman,saidhe,insteadof

groaningandsighing,youdowelltoarmyourselfwithpatience,

andtofallinwiththecurrentofyourdestiny.Playusalittle

air,continuedhe,observingthatIhadaguitarbymyside;let

ushaveaspecimenofyourskill.Icompliedwithhiscommand,as

soonasmyarmswereloosenedfromtheirconfinement,andbegan

tothrumawayinastylethatdrewdowntheapplausesofmy

discerningaudience.ItistruethatIhadbeentaughtbythe

bestmasterinMadrid,andthatIplayedverytolerablyforan

amateuruponthatinstrument.Asongwasthencalledfor,andmy

voicegaveequalsatisfaction.AlltheTurksonboardtestified

bygesturesofadmirationthedelightwithwhichmyperformance

inspiredthem;fromwhichcircumstanceitwasbutmodestto

conclude,thatvocalmusichadmadenoveryextraordinary

progressintheirpartoftheworld.Thepiratewhisperedinmy

ear,thatmyslaveryshouldbenodisadvantagetome;andthat

withmytalentsImightreckonuponanemployment,bywhichmy

lotwouldberenderednotonlysupportable,buthappy.

Ifeltsomewhatencouragedbytheseassurances;butflatteringas

theywere,Iwasnotwithoutmyuneasinessastotheemployment,

whichthecorsairheldoutasanameless,butinvaluableboon.

WhenwearrivedintheportofAlgiers,agreatnumberofpersons

werecollectedtoreceiveus;andwehadnotyetdisembarked,

whentheyutteredathousandshoutsofjoy.Addtothis,thatthe

airre-echoedwithaconfusedsoundoftrumpets,ofMoorish

flutes,andofotherinstruments,thefashionofthatcountry,

formingasymphonyofdeafeningclangour,butverydoubtful

harmony.Theoccasionoftheserejoicingsproceededfromafalse

report,whichhadbeencurrentaboutthetown.Ithadbeenthe

generaltalkthattherenegadoMahomet,meaningouramiable

pirate,hadlosthislifeintheattackofalargeGenoese

vessel;sothatallhisfriends,informedofhisreturn,were

eagertohailhimwiththesethunderingdemonstrationsof

attachment.

Wehadnosoonersetfootonshore,thanmycompanionsandmyself

wereconductedtothepalaceofthebashawSoliman,wherea

Christiansecretary,questioningusindividuallyoneafter

another,inquiredintoournames,ourages,ourcountry,our

religion,andourqualifications.ThenMahomet,presentingmeto

thebashaw,paidmyvoicemorecomplimentsthanitdeserved,and

toldhimthatIplayedontheguitarwithamostravishing

expression.ThiswasenoughtoinfluenceSolimaninhischoiceof

meforhisownimmediateservice.Itookupmyabodethereforein

hisseraglio.Theothercaptiveswereledintothepublicmarket,

andsoldthereattheusualrateofChristiancattle.What

Mahomethadforetoldtomeonship-boardwascompletelyverified;

myconditionwasexactlytomymind.Iwasnotconsignedtothe

strongholdofaprison,norkepttoanyworksofoppressive

labour.Myindulgentmasterstationedmeinaparticularquarter,

withfiveorsixslavesofsuperiorrank,whowereinmomentary

expectationofbeingransomed,andwerethereforefavouredinthe

distributionofourtasks.Thecareofwateringtheorange-trees

andflowersinthegardenswasallottedasmyportion.There

couldnotbeamoreagreeableorlessfatiguingemployment.

Solimanwasamanaboutfortyyearsofage,wellmadeasto

figure,tolerablyaccomplishedastohismind,andasmuchofa

lady’smanascouldbeexpectedfromaTurk.Hisfavouritewasa

Cashmirian,whosewitandbeautyhadacquiredanabsolute

dominionoverhisaffections.Helovedhereventoidolatry.Not

adaybuthepaidhiscourttoherbysomeelegantentertainment;

atonetimeaconcertofvocalandinstrumentalmusic,at

another,adramaticperformanceafterthefashionoftheTurks,

whichfashionimpliesaloosesortofcomedy,wheremoraland

modestyenteraboutasmuchintothecontemplationofthe

contriver,asdoAristotleandhisunities.Thefavourite,whose

namewasFarrukhnaz,waspassionatelyenamouredofthese

exhibitions;shesometimesevengotupamongherownwomensome

Arabianmelodramastobeperformedbeforeheradmirer.Shetook

someofthepartsherself;andcharmedthespectatorsbythe

abundantgraceandvivacityofheraction.OnedaywhenIwas

amongthemusiciansatoneoftheserepresentations,Soliman

orderedmetoplayontheguitar,andtosingasolobetweenthe

actsofthepiece.Ihadthegoodfortunetogivesatisfaction,

andwasreceivedwithapplause.Thefavouriteherself,ifmy

vanitydidnotmisleadme,castglancestowardsmeofno

unfavourableinterpretation.

Onthenextday,asIwaswateringtheorange-treesinthe

gardens,therepassedclosebymeaneunuch,who,without

stoppingorsayingaword,threwdownanoteatmyfeet.Ipicked

itupwithanemotion,strangelycompoundedofpleasureand

alarm.Icrouchedupontheground,forfearofbeingobserved

fromthewindowsoftheseraglio;and,concealingmyselfbehind

theboxesinwhichtheorange-treeswereplanted,openedthis

unexpectedenclosure.ThereIfoundadiamondofvery

considerablevalue,andthesewords,ingenuineCastilian:“Young

Christian,returnthankstoheavenforyourcaptivity.Loveand

fortunewillrenderittheharbingerofyourbliss:love,ifyou

arealivetotheattractionsofafineperson,andfortune,if

youhavethehardihoodtoconfrontdangerineverydirection.”

Icouldnotforamomentdoubtthattheletterwaswrittenbythe

favouritesultana;thestyleandthediamondweremorethan

presumptiveevidenceagainsther.Besidesthatnaturedidnot

castmeinthemouldofacoward,thevanityofkeepingupagood

understandingwiththemistressofascoundrellyMahometanin

office,and,morethanallthetemptationsofvanityor

inclination,thehopeofcajolingheroutoffourtimesasmuch

asthecurmudgeonhermasterwoulddemandformyransom,putme

intoconceitwith.theintentionoftryingmyluckataventure,

whateverriskmightbeincurredintheexperiment.Iwentonwith

mygardening,butalwaysharpingonthemeansofgettingintothe

apartmentofFarrukhnaz,orratherwaitingtillsheopenedadoor

ofcommunication;forIwasclearlyofopinionthatshewouldnot

stopuponthethreshold,butmeetmehalfwayinthecareerof

loveanddanger.Myconjecturewasnotaltogetherwithout

foundation.Thesameeunuchwhohadledmeintothisamorous

reveriepassedthesamewayanhourafterwards,andsaidtome:

Christian,haveyoucommunedwithyourowndeterminations,and

willyouwinafairlady,byabjuringafaintheart?Ianswered

intheaffirmative.Well,then,rejoinedhe,heavensprinkleits

dewuponyourresolutions!Youshallseemebetimesto-morrow

morning.Withthiscomfortableassurance,hewithdrew.The

followingday,Iactuallysawhimmakehisappearanceabouteight

o’clockinthemorning.Hemadeasignalformetogoalongwith

him:Iobeyedthesummons;andheconductedmeintoahallwhere

wasalargewrapperofcanvaswhichheandanothereunuchhad

justbroughtthither,withthedesignofcarryingittothe

sultana’sapartment,forthepurposeoffurnishingasceneforan

Arabianpantomime,inpreparationfortheamusementofthe

bashaw.

Thetwoeunuchsunrolledthecloth,andlaidmeatmylengthon

theproscenium;then,attheriskofturningthefarceintoa

tragedybystiflingme,theyrolleditupagain,withits

palpitatingcontents.Inthenextplace,takingholdofitat

eachend,theyconveyedmewithimpunitybythisdeviceintothe

chamberdevotedtothereposeofthebeautifulCashmirian.She

wasalonewithanoldslavedevotedtoherwishes.Theyhelped

eachothertounrolltheirpreciousbaleofgoods;and

Farrukhnaz,atthesightofherconsignment,setupsuchanalarm

ofdelight,asexhibitedthewomanoftheEast,withoutfor

gettingherprurientpropensities.Withallmynaturalbias

towardsadventure,Icouldnotrecognizemyselfasatonce

transportedintotheprivateapartmentofthewomen,without

somethinglikeaninauspiciousdampuponmyjoy.Theladywas

awareofmyfeelings,andanxioustodissipatetheunpleasant

partofthem,Youngman,saidshe,youhavenothingtofear.

Solimanisjustgonetohiscountry-house:heissafelylodged

fortheday;sothatweshallbeabletoentertainoneanother

hereatourease.

Hintsliketheseralliedmyscatteredspirits,andgaveacastto

mycountenancewhichconfirmedthespeculationofthefavourite.

Youhavewonmyheart,pursuedshe,anditisinmycontemplation

tosoftentheseverityofyourbondage.Youseemtobeworthyof

thesentimentswhichIhaveconceivedforyou.Thoughdisguised

underthegarbofaslave,yourairisnoble,andyour

physiognomyofacharactertorecommendyoutothegoodgracesof

alady.Suchanexteriormustbelongtooneabovethecommon.

Unbosomyourselftomeinconfidence;tellmewhoyouare.Iknow

thatcaptivesofsuperiorconditionandfamilydisguisetheir

realcircumstances,toberedeemedatalowerrate;butyouhave

noinducementtopractisesuchadeceptiononme;anditwould

evenbeaprecautionrevoltingtomydesignsinyourfavour,

sinceIherepledgemyselfforyourliberty.Dealwithsincerity,

therefore,andowntomeatoncethatyouareayouthof

illustriousrank.Ingoodearnestthen,madam,answeredI,it

wouldillbecomemetorepayyourgenerouspartialitywith

dissimulation.Youareabsolutelybentuponit,thatIshould

entrustyouwiththesecretofmyquality,andcommandslike

yoursarenottobequestionedorresisted.Iamthesonofa

Spanishgrandee.Andsoitmightactuallyhavebeen,foranything

thatIknowtothecontrary;atallevents,thesultanagaveme

creditforit,sothatwithconsiderableself-congratulation,at

havingfixedherregardonagentlemanofsomelittlefigurein

theworld,sheassuredmethatitonlydependedonherself,

whetherornoweshouldmeetprettyofteninprivate.Infact,we

werenoniggardsofourmutualgoodwillattheveryfirst

approaches.Inevermetwithawomanwhowasmorewhataman

wisheshertobe.Shewasbesidesanexpertlinguist,aboveall

inCastilian,whichshespokewithfluencyandpurity.Whenshe

conceivedittobetimeforustopart,Igotbyherorderintoa

largeosierbasket,withanembroideredsilkcoveringofherown

manufacture;thenthetwoslaveswhohadbroughtmeinwere

called,tocarrymeoutasapresentfromthefavouritetoher

deludedlord;forunderthispretenceitiseasytoscreenany

amorousexportsfromtheinspectionoftheofficersentrusted

withthesuperintendenceofthewomen.

AsforFarrukhnazandmyself,wewerenotslackinotherdevices

tobringustogether;andthatlovelycaptiveinspiredmeby

degreeswithasmuchloveassheherselfentertainedforme.Our

goodunderstandingwaskeptaprofoundsecretforfulltwo

months,notwithstandingtheextremedifficultyinaseraglioof

veilingthemysteriesofloveforanylengthoftimefromthose

uninitiated,whoseeyesarejaundicedbytheirown

disqualification.Neitherwasthediscoverymadeatlastbythe

meansofenviousspies.Anunluckychancedisconcertedallour

littlearrangements,andthefeaturesofmyfortunewereatonce

aggravatedintoafrown.OnedaywhenIhadbeenintroducedinto

thepresenceofthesultana,inthebodyofanartificialdragon,

inventedasamachineforaspectacle,whilewewereparleying

mostamicablytogether,Soliman,towhomwehadgivencreditfor

havinggoneoutoftown,madehisunwelcomeappearance.He

enteredsoabruptlyintohisfavourite’sapartment,asscarcely

toleavetimefortheoldslavetogiveusnoticeofhis

approach.Stilllesswasthereanyopportunitytoconcealme.

Thustherefore,withallmyenormitiesonmyhead,wasIthe

firstobjectwhichpresenteditselftotheastonishedeyesofthe

bashaw.

Heseemedconsiderablystartledatthesight;andhiscountenance

flashedwithindignationontheinstant.Iconsideredmyselfasa

wretchjusthoveringonthebrinkofthegrave;anddeathseemed

arrayedinalltheparaphernaliaoftorture.AsforFarrukhnaz,

itwasveryevident,ingoodtruth,thatshewasmiserably

frightened;butinsteadofowninghercrimeandimploringpardon,

shesaidtoSoliman:Mylord,beforeyoupronouncemysentence,

bepleasedtohearmydefence.Appearances,doubtless,condemn

me;anditmuststrikeyouthatIhavecommittedanactof

treason,worthythemostdreadfulpunishments.Itistrue,Ihave

broughtthisyoungcaptivehither;itistruethatIhave

introducedhimintomyapartment,withjustsuchartificesasI

shouldhaveusedifIhadentertainedaviolentpassionforhim.

Andyet,Icallourgreatprophettowitness,inspiteofthese

seemingirregularities,Iamnotfaithlesstoyou.Itwasmywish

toconversewiththisChristianslave,forthepurposeof

disengaginghimfromhisownsect,andproselytisinghimtothat

ofthetruebelievers.ButIhavefoundinhimaprincipleof

resistanceforwhichIwasnotwellprepared.Ihave,however,

conqueredhisprejudices;andhecametogivemeanassurance

thathewouldembraceMahometanism.

Idonotmeantodenythatitwasanactofdutytohave

contradictedthefavouriteflatly,withoutpayingtheleast

attentiontothedangerouspredicamentinwhichIstood:butmy

spiritsweretakenbysurprise;thebelovedpartnerofmy

imprudencewashoveringonthebrinkofperdition;andmyown

fatewasinvolvedwithhers.HowcouldIdootherwisethangivea

silentandperturbedassenttoherimpiousfiction?Mytongue,

indeed,refusedtoratifyit;butthebashaw,persuadedbymy

acquiescencethathismistresshadtoldhimthewholetruthand

nothingbutthetruth,sufferedhisangryspirittobe

tranquillized.Madam,answeredhe,Iamwillingtobelievethat

youhavecommittednoinfidelitytowardsme;andthatthedesire

ofdoingathingagreeabletotheprophethasbeenthemeansof

leadingyouontorisksohazardousanddelicateaproceeding.I

forgive,therefore,yourimprudence,onconditionthatthis

captiveassumestheturbanonthespot.Hesentimmediatelyfora

priesttoinitiateme.[Thesewanderingpriestsareatpresent

knowninAfricabythenameofMarabut.Thefirstgymnosophists

ofEthiopiamostprobablywerenothingmore.—TRANSLATOR.]My

dresswaschangedwithalldueceremonyintotheTurkish.They

didjustwhattheypleasedwithme;norhadIthecourageto

object:or,todomyselfmorejustice,Iknewnotwhatwas

becomingofme,insodreadfuladisorderofallmyfacultiesand

feelings.ThereareothergoodChristiansintheworld,whohave

beenguiltyofapostatizingonlessimminentemergencies!

Aftertheceremony,Itookmyleaveoftheseraglio,togoand

possessmyself,underthenameofSidyHali,ofaninferior

officewhichSolimanhadgivenme.Ineversawthesultanamore;

butaneunuchofherscameonedaytolookafterme.Hebrought

withhim,asapresentfromhismistress,jewelstoavery

considerableamount,accompaniedwithaletter,inwhichthelady

assuredmesheshouldneverforgetmygenerouscompliance,in

turningMahometantosaveherlife.Inpointoffact,besides

theserichgifts,lavisheduponmebyFarrukhnaz,Iobtained

throughherinterestamoreconsiderableemploymentthanmy

first,andinthecourseofsixorsevenyearsbecameoneofthe

richestrenegadoesinthetownofAlgiers.

Youmustbeperfectlyaware,thatifIassistedattheprayers

putupbytheMussulmenintheirmosques,orfulfilledtheother

observancesoftheirreligion,itwasallamerecopyofmy

countenance.Myinclinationwasalwaysuniformanddetermined,as

toreturningbeforemydeathintothebosomofourholychurch;

andwiththisviewIlookedforwardtowithdrawingsometimeor

otherintoSpainorItalywiththerichesIshouldhave

accumulated.Butthereseemednoreasonwhateveragainstenjoying

lifeintheinterval.Iwasestablishedinamagnificentmansion,

withgardensofextentandbeauty,anumeroustrainofslaves,

andawell-appointedequipageofprettygirlsinmyseraglio.

ThoughtheMahometansareforbiddentheuseofwineinthat

country,theyarenotbackwardforthemostpartintheirstolen

libations.Asforme,myorgieswerewithouteitheramaskora

blush,afterthemannerofmybrotherrenegadoes.Irememberin

particulartwoofmybottlecompanions,withwhomIoftendrank

downthenightbeforewerosefromtable.OnewasaJew,andthe

otheranArabian.Itookthemtobegoodsortofpeople;and,

withthatimpression,livedinunconstrainedfamiliaritywith

them.OneeveningIinvitedthemtosupatmyhouse.Onthatvery

dayadogofminedied—itwasapet;weperformedourpious

ablutionsonhislifelessclay,andburiedhimwithallthe

solemnobsequiesattendantonaMahometanfuneral.Thisactof

ourswasnotdesignedtoturnthereligionweoutwardlyprofessed

intoridicule;itwasonlytofurnishourselveswithamusement,

andgiveloosetoaludicrouswhimwhichstruckusinthemoment

ofjollity,thatofpayingthelastofficesofhumanitytomy

dog.

Thisactionwas,however,verynearlayingmebytheheels.On

thefollowingdaytherecameafellowtomyhouse,saying,Master

SidyHali,itisnolaughingmatterthatinducesmetopayyou

thisvisit.Myemployer,thecadi,wantstohaveawordinyour

ear;besogood,ifyouplease,asjusttosteptohisoffice,

withoutlossoftime.AnArabianmerchant,whosuppedwithyou

lastnight,haslaidaninformationrespectingacertainactof

irreverenceperpetratedbyyou,onoccasionofadogwhichyou

buried.ItisonthatchargethatIsummonyoutoappearthisday

beforethejudge;andincaseoffailure,youareherebywarned

thatyouwillbethesubjectofacriminalprosecution.Awaywent

he,leavingmetodigesthisdiscourse;butthecitationstuckin

mythroat,andtookawaymyappetite.TheArabianhadnoreason

whatevertosethisfaceagainstme;andIcouldnotcomprehend

themeaningofthedog’strickthescoundrelhadplayedme.The

circumstanceatalleventsdemandedmypromptattention.Iknew

thecadi’scharacter:asaintontheoutside,butasinnerinhis

heart.AwaywentIthereforetowaitonthisjudge,butnotwith

emptypockets.Hesentformeintohisprivateroom,andbegan

uponmeinallthevehemenceofpiousindignation:Youarea

fellowrejectedoutofparadise!ablasphemerofourholylaw!a

manloathsomeandabominabletolookupon!Youhaveperformedthe

funeralserviceofaMussulmanoveradog.Whatanactof

sacrilege!Isitthus,then,thatyoureverenceourmostholy

ceremonies?HaveyouonlyturnedMahometantolaughatour

devotionsandourrites?Myhonouredmaster,answeredI,the

Arabianwhohastoldyousuchacock-and-bullstoryisawolfin

sheep’sclothing;andmorethanthat,heisevenanaccomplicein

mycrime,ifitisone,tograntsuchrestastopeace-parted

soulstoafaithfulhouseholdservant,toananimalwithmore

goodqualitiesthanhalfthetwo-leggedMahometansoutof

Christendom.Hisattachmentbesidestopeopleofmeritand

considerationintheworldwasatoncemoralandsensible;andat

hisdeathheleftseverallittletokensofremembrancetohis

friends.Byhislastwillandtestament,hebequeathedhis

effectsinthemannerthereinmentioned,anddidmethehonourto

namemeforhisexecutor.Thisoldcronycameinfortwenty

crowns,thatforthirty,andanotherforacoolhundred;butyour

worshipisinteresteddeeplyinthisinstrument,pursuedI,

drawingoutmypurse;hehasleftyouresiduarylegatee,andhere

istheamountofthebequest.Thecadi’sgravitycouldnotbut

relax,aftertheposthumouskindnessofhisdeceasedfriend;and

helaughedoutrightinthefaceofthemockexecutor.Aswewere

alone,therewasnooccasiontomakewrymouthsatthepurse,and

myacquittalwaspronouncedinthesewords:Go,MasterSidyHali;

itwasaverypiousactofyours,toenlargetheobsequiesofa

dog,whohadsomanlyafellow-feelingforhonestfolks.

BythisdeviceIgotoutofthescrape;andifthehintdidnot

increasemyreligion,itdoubledmycircumspection.Iwas

determinednolongertoopeneithermycellarormysoulin

presenceofArabianorJew.Mybottlecompanionhenceforwardwas

ayounggentlemanfromLeghorn,whohadthehappinessofbeingmy

slave.HisnamewasAzarini.Iwasofanotherkidneyfrom

renegadoesingeneral,whoimposegreaterhardshipsontheir

ChristianslavesthandotheTurksthemselves.Allmycaptives

waitedfortheperiodoftheirransom,withoutanyimpatient

hankeringafterhome.Mybehaviourtothemwas,intruth,so

gentleandfatherly,thatmanyofthemassuredmetheyweremore

afraidofchangingtheirmasterthananxiousaftertheirliberty;

whatevermagicthatwordmayhavetotheearsofthosewhohave

feltwhatitistobedeprivedofit.

Onedaythebashaw’scorsairscameintoportwithconsiderable

prizes.Theircargoamountedtomorethanahundredslavesof

eithersex,carriedofffromtheSpanishcoast.Solimanretained

butaverysmallnumber,andalltherestweresold.Ihappened

togotomarket,andboughtaSpanishgirl,tenortwelveyears

old.Shecriedasifherheartwouldbreak,andlookedthe

pictureofdespair.Itseemedstrange,thatatherageslavery

shouldmakesuchanimpressiononher.Itoldher,inCastilian,

tocombatwithherterrors:andassuredherthatshewasfallen

intothehandsofamasterwhohadnotputoffhumanitywhenhe

tookuptheturban.Thelittlemourner,notinitiatedinthe

tradeofgrief,pursuedthesubjectofherlamentationswithout

listeningtome.Herwholesoulseemedtobebreathedinher

sighs;shedescantedonherwretchedfate,andexclaimedfrom

timetotimeinsoftenedaccents:Omymother,whywereweever

parted?Icouldbearmylotwithpatience,mightweshareit

together.Withtheselamentationsonherlips,sheturnedround

towardsawomanoffromfive-and-fortytofifty,standingatthe

distanceofseveralpaces,andwaitingwithhereyesfixedtothe

ground,inadetermined,sullensilence,tillshemetwitha

purchaser.Iaskedmyyoungbargainiftheladyshewaslooking

atwashermother.Alas!sheis,indeed,sir,repliedthegirl;

fortheloveofGod,donotletmebepartedfromher.Well,

then,mydistressedlittledamsel,saidI,ifitwillgiveyou

anypleasure,thereisnomoretodothantosettleyoubothin

thesamequarters,andthenyouwillgiveoveryourmurmuring.On

theverymomentIwentuptothemother,withtheintentionof

cheapeningher;butnosoonerdidIcastmyeyesonherface,

thanIknewagain,withwhatemotionyoumayguess!theveryform

andpressureofLucinda.Justheaven!saidIwithinmyself;this

ismymother!Naturewhispersitinmyear,andcanIdoubther

evidence?Onherpart,whetherakeenresentmentofherwoes

pointedoutanenemyineveryobjectonwhichsheglanced,or

elseitmightbemydressthatdisfiguredme;….orelseI

mighthavegrownalittleolderinaboutadozenyearssinceshe

hadseenme….buthoweverhistoriansmayaccountforit,

shedidnotknowme.ButIknewher,andboughther:thepair

weresenthometomyhouse.

Whentheyweresafelylodged,Iwishedtosurprisethemwiththe

pleasureofascertainingwhoIwas.Madam,saidItoLucinda,is

itpossiblethatmyfeaturesshouldnotstrikeyou?‘Tistrue,I

wearwhiskersandaturban:butisRaphaellessyoursonfor

that?Mymotherthrilledthroughallherframeatthesewords,

lookedatmewithaneagergaze,mywholeselfrushedintoher

recollection,andintoeachother’sarmsweaffectionatelyflew.

Ithencaressed,inmoderatedecstasies,herdaughter,who

perhapsknewasmuchabouthavingabrotherasIdidabouthaving

asister.Tellthetruth,saidItomymother;inallyour

theatricaldiscoveries,didyouevermeetwithonesotruly

naturalanddramaticasthis?Mydearson,answeredshe,inan

accentofsorrow,thefirstsightofyouaftersolonga

separationoverwhelmedmewithjoy,buttherevulsionwasonly

themoredeeplydistressing.Inwhatcondition,alas!doIagain

beholdyou?Myownslaveryisathousandtimeslessrevoltingto

myfeelingsthanthedisgracefulhabiliments….Heyday!By

allthepowers,madam,interruptedIwithaheartylaugh,Iam

quitedelightedwithyournewly-acquiredmorality:thisis

excellentinanactress.Well!well!asheavenismyjudge,my

honouredmamma,youaremightilyimprovedinyourprinciples,if

mytransformationastoundsyourreligiouseyesight.Sofarfrom

quarrellingwithyourturban,considermeratherasanactor,

playingaTurkishcharacteronthestageoftheworld.Thougha

conformist,IamjustasmuchaMussulmanaswhenIwasinSpain;

nay,inthebottomofmyheart,Ineverwasamorefirmbeliever

inourChristiancreedthanatthepresentmoment.Whenyoushall

becomeacquaintedwithallmyhair-breadthescapes,sinceIhave

beendomesticatedinthiscountry,youwillnotberigorousin

yourcensure.Lovehasbeenthecauseofmyapostasy,andhewho

worshipsatthatshrinemaybeabsolvedfromallother

infidelities.Ihavealittleofmymotherinme,takemyword

forit.Anotherreasonbesidesoughttomoderateyourdisgustat

seeingmeundermypresentcircumstances.Youwereexpectingto

experienceaharshcaptivityinAlgiers,butyoufindinyour

protectorason,withallthetendernessandreverencebefitting

hisrelationtoyou,andrichenoughtomaintainyouherein

plentyandcomfort,tillafavourableopportunityoffersof

returningwithsafetyintoSpain.Admit,therefore,theforceof

theproverb,whichsaysthatevilitselfisgoodforsomething.

Mydearson,saidLucinda,sinceyoufullyintendonedaytogo

backintoyourowncountry,andtothrowoffthemantleof

Mahomet,myscruplesareallsatisfied.Thankstoheaven,

continuedshe,IshallbeabletocarrybackyoursisterBeatrice

safeandsoundintoCastile.Yes,madam,exclaimedI,soyoumay.

Wewillallthree,assoonastheseasonmayserve,goandthrow

ourselvesintothebosomofourfamily:forImakenomatterof

doubtbutyouhavestillinSpainotherindisputableevidencesof

yourprolificpowers.No,saidmymother,Ihaveonlyyoutwo,

theoffspringofmybody;andyouaretoknowthatBeatriceis

thefruitofamarriage,manufacturedinasworkmanlikeamanner

asanywithinthepaleofthechurch.Andpray,forwhatreason,

repliedI,mightnotmylittlesisterhavebeenjustas

contrabandasmyself?Howdidyoueverworkyourselfuptothe

formidableresolutionofmarrying?Ihaveheardyousayahundred

times,inmychildhood,thattherewasnobenefitofclergyfora

prettywomanwhocouldcommitsuchanoffenceastotakeupwith

ahusband.Timesandseasonsebbandflow,myson,rejoinedshe.

Menofthemostresolutecharactermaybeshakenintheir

purposes:anddoyourequirethatawomanshouldbeinflexiblein

hers?ButIwillnowrelatetoyouthestoryofmylifesince

yourdeparturefromMadrid.Shethenbeganthefollowingrecital,

whichwillneverbeobliteratedfrommymemory.Iwillnot

withholdfromyousocuriousanarrative.

Itisnearlythirteenyears,ifyourecollect,saidmymother,

sinceyouleftyoungLeganez.Justatthattime,theDukeof

MedinaCoelitoldmethathehadamindtosupwithmeone

eveninginprivate.Thedaywasfixed.Imadepreparationsfor

hisreception:hecame,andIpleasedhim.Herequiredfromme

thesacrificeofallhisrivals,past,present,andtocome.I

cameintohisterms,inthehopeofbeingwellpaidformy

complaisance.Therewasnodeficiencyonthatscore.Onthevery

nextmorning,Ireceivedpresentsfromhim,whichwerefollowed

upbyalongtrainofkindredattentions.Iwasafraidofnot

beingabletoholdinmychainsamanofhisexaltedrank:and

thisapprehensionwasthebetterfounded,becauseitwasamatter

ofnotoriety,thathehadescapedfromtheclutchesofseveral

celebratedbeauties,whosechainshehadworn,onlyforthe

purposeofbreaking.Butforallthat,sofarfromsurfeitingon

therelishofmykindness,hisappetitegrewbywhatitfedon.

Inshort,Ifoundoutthesecretofentertaininghim,and

impoundinghisheart,naturallyroving,sothatitshouldnotgo

astrayaccordingtoitsusualvolatility.

Hehadnowbeenmyadmirerforthreemonths,andIhadevery

reasontoflattermyselfthatthearrangementwouldbelasting,

whenaladyofmyacquaintanceandmyselfhappenedtogotoan

assembly,wheretheduchesshiswifewasoftheparty.Wewere

invitedtoaconcertofvocalandinstrumentalmusic.We

accidentallyseatedourselvestooneartheduchess,whotookit

intoherheadtobeaffronted,thatIshouldexhibitmypersonin

aplacewhereshewas.Shesentmewordbyoneofherwomen,that

sheshouldtakeitasafavourifIwouldquittheroom

immediately.Isentbackananswer,justassaucyasthemessage.

Theduchess,irritatedtofury,laidherwrongsbeforeher

husband,whocametomeinperson,andsaid:Retire,Lucinda.

Thoughnoblemenofthefirstrankattachthemselvestopretty

playthingslikeyourself,itishighlyunbecominginyouto

forgetyourproperdistance.Ifweloveyoubetterthanour

wives,wehonourourwivesmorethanyou:whenever,therefore,

yourinsolenceshallgosofarastosetyourselvesupfortheir

rivalsundertheirverynoses,youwillalwaysbemortified,and

madetoknowyourplaces.

Fortunatelythedukeheldhiscruellanguagetomeinsolowa

toneofvoiceasnottohavebeenoverheardbythepeopleabout

us.Iwithdrewindeepconfusion,andcriedwithvexationat

havingincurredsuchanaffront.Atonce,tocrownmyshameand

aggravatemychastisement,theactorsandactressesgotholdof

thestoryontheverysameevening.Todothemjustice,these

gentrymustcontrivetoentertainafamiliarspirit,whose

businessistoflyabout,andwhisperintheearofonewhatever

fallsoutamisstotheother.Suppose,forinstance,thatan

actorgetsdrunkandmakesafoolofhimself;oranactressgets

holdofarichcullyandmakesafoolofhim!Thegreen-roomis

suretoringwithalltheparticulars,andafewmorethanare

true.Allmykindredofthesockandbuskinwereinformedatonce

ofwhathadhappenedattheconcert,andablessedlifetheyled

mewiththeirquipsandquiddities.Neverwastherecharitylike

theirs.Withoutbeginningathome,heavenonlyknowswhereit

ends!ButIheldmyselftoohightobeaffectedbytheirjibes

andjeers:nordideventhelossoftheDukedeMedinaCoelihang

heavyonmyspirits;fortrueitwas,Ineversawhimmoreatmy

toilette,butlearned,averyshorttimeafter,thathehadgot

intothetrammelsofalittlewarbler.

Whenatheatricalladyhasthegoodlucktobeinfashion,she

maychangeherloverasoftenasherpetticoat:andonenoble

fool,shouldheevenrecoverhiswitsattheendofthreedays,

servesexcellentlywellforadecoytohissuccessor.Nosooner

wasitbuzzedaboutMadrid,thatthedukehadraisedthesiege,

thananewhostofwould-beconquerorsappearedbeforethe

trenches.TheveryrivalswhomIhadsacrificedtohiswishes,

lookingatmycharmsthroughthemagnifyingmediumofdelayand

disappointment,camebackagainincrowdstoencounternew

caprices;tosaynothingofathousandfreshhearts,readyto

bargainonthemerereportofmybeingtolet.Ihadneverbeen

soexclusivelythemode.Ofallthemenwhoputinforbeing

cajoledbyme,aportlyGerman,belongingtotheDukeofOssuna’s

household,seemedtobidhighest.Notthathispersonal

attractionswerebyanymeansthemostcatching;butthenthere

wereathousandamiablepistolesonthelistofcandidates,

scrapedtogetherbyperquisitesinhismaster’sservice,and

turnedadriftwiththeprodigalityofaprince,inthehopeof

becomingmyfavouredlover.Thisfatpigeontobepluckedwasby

nameBrutandorf.Aslongashispocketswerelined,hisreception

waswarm:emptypursesmeet.withfasteneddoors.Theprinciples

onwhichmyfriendshiprestedwerenotaltogethertohistaste.

Hecametotheplaytolookaftermeduringtheperformance.I

wasbehindthescenes.Itwashishumourtoloadmewith

reproaches;itwasminetolaughinhisface.Thisprovokedhis

boorishwrath,andhegavemeaboxontheear,likeaclumsy-fistedGermanashewas.Isetupaloudscream:thebusinessof

thestagewassuspended.Icameforwardtothefront,and,

addressingtheDukeofOssuna,whowasattheplayonthat

occasionwithhisladyduchess,beggedhisprotectionfromthe

Germangallantryofhisestablishment.Thedukegaveordersfor

ourproceedingwiththepiece,andintimatedthathewouldhear

thepartiesafterthecurtainhaddropped.Attheconclusionof

theplayIpresentedmyselfinallthedrearypompoftragedy

beforetheduke,andlaidopenmygriefsinallthemajestyof

woe.AsformyGermanpugilist,hisdefencewasonalevelwith

hisprovocation;sofarfrombeingsorryforwhathehaddone,

hisfingersitchedtogivemeanotherdressing.Thecausebeing

heardproandcon,theDukeofOssunasaidtohisScandinavian

savage:BrutandorfIdismissyoufrommyservice,andbegnever

toseeanythingmoreofyou,notbecauseyouhavegivenaboxon

theeartoanactress,butforyourfailureinrespecttoyour

masterandmistress,inhavingpresumedtointerrupttheprogress

oftheplayintheirpresence.

Thisdecisionwasabitterpillformetoswallow.Itwashigh

treasonagainstmyhistrionicmajesty,thattheGermanwasnot

turnedoffonthegroundofhavinginsultedme.Itseemed

difficulttoconceivethepossibilityofagreatercrimethan

thatofinsultingaprincipalactress:andwherecrimesare

parallel,punishmentsshouldtally.Theretributioninthiscase

wouldhavebeenexemplary;andIexpectednoless.This

unpleasantoccurrenceundeceivedme,andproved,tomy

mortification,thatthepublicdistinguishedbetweentheactors

andthepersonagestheymaychancetoenact.Onthisconviction,

mypriderevoltedatthetheatre:Iresolvedtogiveupmy

engagementstogoandliveatadistancefromMadrid.Ifixedon

thecityofValenciafortheplaceofmyretreat,andwent

thitherunderafeignedcharacter,withapropertyoftwenty

thousandducatsinmoneyandjewels:asuminmymindmorethan

sufficienttomaintainmefortheremainderofmydays,sinceit

wasmypurposetoleadaretiredlife.Irentedasmallhouseat

Valencia,andlimitedmyestablishmenttoafemaleservantanda

page,whowereasignorantofmybirth,parentage,andeducation,

astherestofthetown.Igavemyselfoutforthewidowofan

officerbelongingtotheking’shousehold,andintimatedthatI

hadmadechoiceofValenciaformyresidence,onthereportthat

itwasoneofthemostagreeableneighbourhoodsinSpain.Isaw

verylittlecompany,andmaintainedsoreservedadeportment,

thatthereneverwastheslightestsuspicionofmyhavingbeenan

actress.Yet,notwithstandingallthepainsItooktohide

myselffromthegarisheyeofday,Ihadworsesuccessagainst

thepiercingkenofagentleman,whohadacountryseatnear

Paterna.Hewasofanancientfamily,inpersongenteeland

manly,fromfive-and-thirtytofortyyearsofage,nobly

connected,butscandalouslyindebt;acontradictioninthe

vocabularyofhonour,neithermoreunaccountablenoruncommonin

thekingdomofValencia,thanwhattakesplaceeverydayinother

partsofthecivilizedworld.

Thisgentlemanofagenerationortwobeforethepresent,finding

mypersontohisliking,wasdesirousofknowingifinother

respectsIwasacommodityforhismarket.Heseteveryengineat

worktoinquireintothemostminuteparticulars,andhadthe

pleasuretolearnfromgeneralreport,thatIwasawarmwidow

withacomfortablejointure,andapersonlittle,ifanything,

theworseforwear.Itstruckhimthatthiswasjustthematch;

sothatinaveryshorttimeanoldladycametomyhouse,

tellingme,fromhim,thatwithequaladmirationofmyvirtues

andmycharms,helaidhimselfandhisfortuneatmyfeet,and

wasreadytoleadmetothealtar,ifIcouldcondescendsofar

astobecomehiswife.Irequiredthreedaystomakeupmymind

onthesubject.Inthisinterval,Imadeinquiriesaboutthe

gentleman;andhearingagoodcharacterofhim,notwithstanding

thederangedstateofhisfinances,itwasmydeterminationto

marryhimwithoutmoreado,sothatthepreliminariesweresoon

ratifiedbyadefinitivetreaty.

DonManueldeXerica,forthatwasmyhusband’sname,tookme

immediatelyaftertheceremonytohiscastle,whichhadanairof

antiquityhighlyflatteringtohisfamilypride.Hetoldastory

aboutoneofhisancestorswhobuiltitindaysofyore,and

becauseitwasnotfoundedthedaybeforeyesterday,jumpedtoa

conclusionthattherewasnotamoreancienthouseinSpainthan

thatofXerica.Butnobility,likeperishablemerchandise,will

runtodecay;thecastle,shoreduponthissideandonthat,was

intheveryagonyoftumblingtopieces:whatabuttressforDon

Manuelandforhisoldwallswashismarriagewithme!Morethan

halfmysavingswerelaidoutonrepairs;andtheresiduewas

wantedtosetusgoinginagenteelstyleamongourcountry

neighbours.Beholdme,then,youwhocanbelieveit,landedona

newplanet,transformedintothepresidinggeniusofacastle,

theLadyBountifulofmyparish:ourstagemachinerycouldnever

havefurnishedsuchachange!Iwastoogoodanactressnotto

havesupportedmynewrankanddignitywithappropriategrace.I

assumedhighairs,theatricalgrandeurs,amostdignifiedstrut

anddemeanour;allwhichmadethebumpkinsconceiveawonderful

ideaofmyexaltedorigin.Howwouldtheynothavetickledtheir

fanciesatmyexpense,hadtheyknowntherealtruthofthecase!

Thegentryoftheneighbourhoodwouldhavescoffedatmemost

unmercifully,andthecountrypeoplewouldhavebeenmuchmore

charyoftherespecttheyshewedme.

ItwasnownearsixyearsthatIhadlivedveryhappilywithDon

Manuel,whenheendedways,means,andlifetogether.Mylegacy

consistedofabrokenfortunetosplice,andyoursister

Beatrice,thenmorethanfouryearsold,tomaintain.Thecastle,

whichwasouronlytangibleresource,wasunfortunatelymortgaged

toseveralcreditors,theprincipalofwhomwasoneBernard

Astuto.Cunningbyname,andcunningbynature!Hepractisedas

anattorneyatValencia,andborehisfacultiesinalltheinfamy

ofpettifogging;lawandequityconspiredinhispersontopush

thetradeofcozeningandswindlingtotheutmostextremity.To

thinkoffallingintotheclutchesofsuchacreditor!A

gentleman’spropertyunderthegripeofsuchaclawasthis

attorney’saffordsmuchthesamesportasalambtoawolfora

dovetoakite.Nearlyafterthefashionofthesebeastsand

birdsofprey,didSignorAstuto,wheninformedofmyhusband’s

death,hoveroverhisvictim,concealinghisfellpurposeunder

theambushofthelaw.Thewholeestatewouldhavebeenswallowed

upinpleadings,affidavits,demurrers,andrejoinders,butfor

thelightthrownupontheproceedingsbymyluckystar;under

whoseinfluencetheplaintiffwasturnedatonceintodefendant,

andwasleftwithoutareplytotheargumentsoftheseall-powerfuleyes.Igottotheblindsideofhiminaninterview,

whichIcontrivedduringtheprogressofourlitigation.Nothing

waswantingonmypart,Iownitfrankly,tofillhimbrimfulof

thetenderpassion;anardentlongingtosavemygoods,chattels,

anddomain,mademepractiseuponhim,tomyowndisgust,that

systemofcoquettishtacticsandflirtationwhichhaddrawnso

manyformerfoolsintoanambuscade.Yet,withalltheresources

ofaveteran,Iwasverynearlettingtheattorneyescape.Hewas

sobarricadedbymouldyparchments,soimmuredinactionsand

informations,asscarcelytoseemsusceptibleofanylovebutthe

loveoflaw.Thetruth,however,was,thatthismoping

pettifogger,thisporeroverponderousabridgments,thisscrawler

ofactsanddeeds,hadmoreyoungbloodinhimthanIwasaware

of,andatrickoflookingatmeoutofthecornerofhiseye.He

professedtobeanoviceintheartofcourtship.Mywholeheart

andsoul,madam,saidhe,havebeenweddedtomyprofession;and

theconsequencehasbeen,thattheusesandcustomsofgallantry

haveseemedweary,stale,flat,andunprofitabletome.But

thoughnotamanofoutwardshow,Iamwellfurnishedwiththe

stockintradeoflove.Tocometothepointatonce,ifyoucan

resolveinyourmindtomarryme,wewillmakeagrandbonfireof

thewholelawsuit;andIwillgivethego-bytothoserascally

creditors,whohavejoinedissuewithmeinourattackuponyour

estate.Youshallhavethelifeinterest,andyourdaughterthe

reversion.SogoodabargainforBeatriceandmyselfwouldnot

allowofanywavering:Iclosedwithoutdelayontheconditions.

Theattorneykepthiswordmostmiraculously:heturnedshort

roundupontheothercreditors,defeatedthemwiththevery

weaponshimselfhadfurnishedwiththeirjointcampaign,and

securedmeinthepossessionofmyhouseandlands.Itwas

probablythefirsttimeinhislifethathehadtakenupthe

causeofthewidowandtheorphan.

ThusdidIbecomethehonouredwifeofanattorney,without

losingmyrankastheladyofthemanor.Butthisincongruous

marriageruinedmeintheesteemofthegentryaboutValencia.

Thewomenofqualitylookeduponmeasapersonwhohadlowered

herself,andrefusedanylongertovisitme.Thisinevitably

threwmeontheacquaintanceofthetradespeople;acircumstance

whichcouldnotdootherwisethanhurtmyfeelingsalittleat

first,becauseIhadbeenaccustomed,forthelastsixyears,to

associateonlywithladiesofthehigherclasses.Butitwasin

vaintofretaboutit;andIsoonfoundmylevel.Igotmost

intimatelyacquaintedwiththewivesofmyhusband’sbrethrenof

thequillandbrief.Theircharacterswerenotalittle

entertaining.Therewasanabsurdityintheirmanners,which

tickledmetotheverysoul.Thesetrumperyfineladiesheld

themselvesupforsomethingfarabovethecommonrun.Well-a-day!

saidItomyself,everynowandthen,whentheyforgottheblue-bag:thisisthewayoftheworld!Everyonefancieshimselfto

besomethingvastlysuperiortohisneighbour.Ithoughtwe

actressesonlydidnotknowourplaces;womenatthelowerendof

privatelife,asfarasIsee,arejustasabsurdintheir

pretensions.Ishouldlike,bywayofcheckupontheir

presumption,toproposealaw,thatfamilypicturesandpedigrees

shouldbehungupineveryhouse.Werethesituationlefttothe

choiceoftheowner,thedeuceisinitiftheselegalgentry

wouldnotcramtheirscriveningancestorseitherintothecellar

orthegarret.

Afterfouryearspassedintheholystateofwedlock,Signor

Bernardod’Astutofellsick,andwentthewayofallflesh.We

hadnofamily.BetweenmysettlementandwhatIwasworthbefore,

Ifoundmyselfawell-endowedwidow.Ihadtoothereputationof

beingso;andonthisreport,aSiciliangentleman,byname

Colifichini,determinedtostickinmyskirts,andeitherruinor

marryme.Thealternativewaskindlylefttomyownchoice.He

wascomefromPalermotoseeSpain,and,afterhavingsatisfied

hiscuriosity,waswaiting,ashesaid,atValenciaforan

opportunityoftakinghispassagebacktoSicily.Thesparkwas

notquitefive-and-twenty;ofanelegant,thoughdiminutive

person;….inshort,hisfigureabsolutelyhauntedme.He

foundthemeansofgettingtothespeechofmeinprivate;and,I

willownittoyoufrankly,Ifelldistractedlyinlovewithhim

fromthemomentofourveryfirstinterview.Onhispart,the

littleknaveflouncedoverheadandearsinadmirationofmy

charms.Idoreallythink,Godforgivemeforit,thatweshould

havebeenmarriedoutofhand,ifthedeathoftheattorney,

whosefuneralbakedmeatswerescarcelycoldenoughtohave

furnishedforththemarriagetables,wouldhaveallowedmeto

contractanewengagementatsoshortawarning.ButsinceIhad

gotintothematrimonialline,itwasnecessarythatwherethe

churchmakesthefeast,thedevilshouldnotsendcooks;I

thereforetookcarealwaystoseasonmynuptialstothepalateof

theworldatlarge.

Thusdidweagreetodelayourcomingtogetherforatime,outof

atenderregardtoappearances.Colifichini,inthemeantime,

devotedallhisattentionstome:hispassion,farfrom

languishing,seemedtobecomemoreapartofhimselffromdayto

day.Thepoorladwasnottooflushofreadymoney.Thisstruck

myobservation;andhewasnolongeratalossforhislittle

pocketexpenses.Besidesbeingverynearlytwicehisage,I

recollectedhavinglaidthemenundercontributioninmyyounger

days;sothatIlookeduponwhatIwasthenlavishingasasort

ofrestitution,whichbalancedmydebtorandcreditoraccount,

andmademequitswithmyconscience.Wewaited,aspatientlyas

ourfrailtywouldallow,fortheperiodwhenwidowsmayin

decencysofarsurmounttheirgriefastotrytheirluckagain.

Whenthehappymorningrose,wepresentedourselvesbeforethe

altar,whereweplightedourfaithtoeachotherbyoathsthe

mostsolemnandbinding.Wethenretiredtomycastle,whereI

maytrulysaythatwelivedfortwoyears,lessashusbandand

wifethanastenderandunfetteredlovers.Butalaslsuchan

union,sohappyandsentimental,wasnotlongtobethelotof

humanity:apleurisycarriedoffmydearColifichini.

Atthispassageinherhistory,Iinterruptedmymother.Heydayl

madam,yourthirdhusbanddispatchedalready?Youmustheamost

deadlytaking.Whatdoyoumean?answeredshe:isitformeto

disputethewillofheaven,andlengthenthedaysparcelledout

toeverysonofearth?IfIhavelostthreehusbands,itwasnone

ofmyfault.Twoofthemcostmemanyasalttear.IfIburied

anywithdryeyes,itwastheattorney.Asthatwasmerelya

matchofinterest,Iwaseasilyreconciledtothelossofhim.

ButtoreturntoColifichini,Iwasgoingtotellyou,thatsome

monthsafterhisdeath,Ihadamindtogoandtakepossessionof

acountryhousenearPalermo,whichhehadsettledonmeasa

jointure,byourmarriagecontract.ItookmypassageforSicily

withmydaughter;butweweretakenonthevoyagebyAlgerine

corsairs.Thiscitywasourdestination.Happilyforus,you

happenedtoheatthemarketwherewewereputupforsale.Had

itbeenotherwise,wemusthavefallenintothehandsofsome

barbarianpurchaser,whowouldhaveusedusill;andweprobably

mighthavepassedourwholelifeinslavery,norwouldyouever

haveheardofus.

Suchwasmymother’sstory.Toreturntomyown,gentlemen,I

gaveherthebestapartmentinmyhouse,withthelibertyof

livingafterherownfashion;whichwasacircumstancevery

agreeabletohertaste.Shehadaconfirmedhabitofloving,

broughttosuchasystembysomanyrepeatedexperiments,thatit

wasimpossibleforhertodowithouteitheragallantora

husband.Atfirstshelookedwithfavouronsomeofmyslaves;

butHaliPegelin,aGreekrenegado,whosometimescameandcalled

uponus,soondrewallherglancesonhimself.Sheconceiveda

strongerpassionforhimthanshehadeverdoneforColifichini:

andsuchwasheraptitudeforpleasingthemen,thatshefound

thewaytowindherselfabouttheheartofthismanalso.I

seemedasifunconsciousoftheirgoodunderstanding;beingthen

intentonlyonmyreturnintoSpain.Thebashawhadalreadygiven

meleavetofitoutavessel,forthepurposeofsweepingthesea

andcommittingactsofpiracy.Thisarmamentwasmysoleobject.

Justaweekbeforeitwascompleted,IsaidtoLucinda:Madam,we

shalltakeourleaveofAlgiersalmostimmediately;sothatyou

willbidalongfarewelltoanabodewhichyoucannotbutdetest.

Mymotherturnedpaleatthesewords,andstoodsilentand

motionless.Mysurprisewasextreme.WhatdoIsee?saidIto

her:whencecomesitthatyoupresentsuchanimageofterrorand

despair?Mydesignwastofillyouwithtransport;buttheeffect

ofmyintelligenceseemsonlytooverwhelmyouwithaffliction.I

thoughttohavebeenthankedformywelcomenews;andhastened

witheagernesstotellyouthatallisreadyforourdeparture.

AreyounolongerinthemindtogobackintoSpain?No,myson;

Spainnolongerhasanycharmsforme,answeredmymother.Ithas

beenthesceneofallmysorrows,andIhaveturnedmybackonit

forever.WhatdoIhear?exclaimedIinanagony:Ah!tellme

rather,thatitisafatalpassionwhichalienatesyoufromyour

nativecountry.Justheavens!whatachange!Whenyoulanded

here,everyobjectthatmetyoureyeswashatefultothem,but

HaliPegelinhasgivenanothercolourtoyourfancy.Idonot

denyit,repliedLucinda:Ilovethatrenegado,andmeantotake

himformyfourthhusband.Whatanidea!interruptedIwith

horror:you,tomarryaMussulman!Youforgetyourselftobea

Christian,orratherhavehithertobeenoneonlyinnameandnot

inheart.Ah!mydearmother,whatafuturitydoyoupresentto

myimagination!Youarerunningheadlongtoyoureternalruin.

Youaregoingtodovoluntarily,andfromimpuremotives,whatI

haveonlydoneunderthepressureofnecessity.

Iurgedmanyotherargumentsinthesamestrain,toturnher

asidefromherpurpose:butallmyeloquencewaswasted;shehad

madeuphermindtoherfuturedestiny.Notsatisfiedwith

followingthebentofherbaseinclinations,andleavingherson

togoandlivewiththisrenegado,shehadevenformedadesign

tosettleBeatriceinherownfamily.ThisIopposedwithallmy

mightandmain.Ah!wretchedLucinda,saidI,ifnothingis

capableofkeepingyouwithinthelimitsofyourduty,atleast

rushonperditionalone;confinewithinyourselfthefurywhich

possessesyou;castnotayounginnocentheadlongovera

precipice,thoughyouyourselfmayventureontheleap.Lucinda

quittedmypresenceinmoodysilence.Itstruckmethataremnant

ofreasonstillenlightenedher,andthatshewouldnot

obstinatelypersevereinrequiringherdaughtertobegivenupto

her.HowlittledidIknowofmymother!Oneofmyslavessaidto

metwodaysafterwards:Sir,takecareofyourself.Acaptive

belongingtoPegelinhasjustletmeintoasecret,ofwhichyou

cannottoosoonavailyourself.Yourmotherhaschangedher

religion;andasapunishmentuponyouforhavingrefused

Beatricetoherwishes,itisherpurposetoacquaintthebashaw

withyourflight.IcouldnotforamomentdoubtbutwhatLucinda

wasthewomantodojustwhatmyslavehadsaidshewould.The

ladyhadgivenmemanifoldopportunitiesofstudyingher

character;anditwassufficientlyevidentthatbydintof

playingbloodypartsintragedy,shehadfamiliarizedherself

withtheguiltyscenesofreallife.Itwouldnotintheleast

havegoneagainsthernaturetohavegotmeburnedalive;nor

probablywouldshehavebeenmoreaffectedbymyexitafterthat

fashion,thanbythewindingupofadramatictale.

Thewarningofmyslave,therefore,wasnottobeneglected.My

embarkationwashastenedon.ItooksomeTurksonboard,

accordingtothepracticeoftheAlgerinecorsairswhengoingon

apiraticalexpedition:butIengagednomorethanwasnecessary

toblindtheeyesofjealousy,andweighedanchorfromtheport

assoonaspossible,withallmyslavesandmysisterBeatrice.

Youwilldorighttosuppose,thatIdidnotforget,inthat

momentofanxiety,topackupmywholestockofmoneyandjewels,

amountingprobablytotheworthofsixthousandducats.Whenwe

werefairlyoutatsea,webeganbysecuringtheTurks.Theywere

easilymastered,asmyslavesoutnumberedthem.Wehadso

favourableawind,thatwemadethecoastofItalyinavery

shorttime.Withoutletorhindrance,wegotintotheharbourof

Leghorn,whereIthoughtthewholecitymusthavecomeouttosee

usland.ThefatherofmyslaveAzarini,eitheraccidentallyor

fromcuriosity,happenedtobeamongthegazers.Helookedwith

allhiseyesatmycaptives,astheycameashore;butthoughhis

objectwastodiscoverhislostsonamongthenumber,itwaswith

littlehopeofsofortunatearesult.Buthowpowerfulisthe

pleaofnature!Whattransports,expressedbymutualembraces,

followedtherecognitionofatiesoclose,butsopainfully

interruptedforatime!

AssoonasAzarinihadacquaintedhisfatherwhoIwas,andwhat

broughtmetoLeghorn,theoldmanobligedme,aswellas

Beatrice,toacceptofanapartmentinhishouse.Ishallpass

overinsilencethedescriptionofathousandceremonies,

necessarytobegonethrough,inordertomyreturnintothe

bosomofthechurch;sufficeittosay,thatIforswore

MahometanismwithmuchmoresinceritythanIhadpledgedmyself

toit.AfterhavingentirelypurgedmyselffrommyAlgerine

leaven,Isoldmyship,andsetallmyslavesatliberty.Asfor

theTurks,theywerecommittedtoprisonatLeghorn,tobe

exchangedagainstChristians.Ireceivedkindattentionin

abundancefromtheAzarinifamily:indeed,theyoungmanmarried

mysisterBeatrice,who,tospeakthetruth,wasnobadmatchfor

him,beingagentleman’sdaughter,andinheritingthecastleof

Xerica,whichmymotherhadtakencaretoletouttoarich

tannerofPaterna,whensheresolveduponhervoyagetoSicily.

FromLeghorn,afterhavingstaidtheresometime,Idepartedfor

Florence,atownIhadastrongdesiretosee.Ididnotgo

thitherwithoutlettersofrecommendation.Azarinithefatherhad

connectionsatthegrandduke’scourt,andintroducedmetothem

asaSpanishgentlemanrelatedtohisfamily.Itackeddontomy

name,inhonestrivalryofimpudencewithotherlowSpaniards,

whotakeupthattravellingtitleofhonourwithoutcompunction,

whenfarenoughfromhometosetdetectionatdefiance.Boldly

thendidIdubmyselfDonRaphael;andappearedatcourtwith

suitablesplendour,onthestrengthofwhatIhadbroughtfrom

Algiers,tokeepmynobilityfromstarving.Thehighpersonages,

towhomoldAzarinihadwritteninmyfavour,gaveoutintheir

circlethatIwasapersonofquality;sothatwiththis

testimony,andanaturalknackIhadofgivingmyselfairs,the

deucemusthavebeeninitifIcouldnothavepassedmusterfor

amanofsomeconsequence.Isoongottobehandinglovewith

theprincipalnobility;andtheypresentedmetothegrandduke.

Ihadthegoodfortunetomakemyselfagreeable.Itthenbecame

anobjectwithmetopaycourttothatprince,andtostudyhis

humour.Isuckedinwithgreedyearallthathismostexperienced

courtierssaidabouthim,andbytheirconversationfathomedall

hispeculiarities.Amongotherthings,heencouragedaplayof

wit;wasfondofgoodstoriesandlivelyrepartees.Onthishint

Iformedmyself.EverymorningIwrotedowninmypocket-book

suchanecdotesasImeanttorackoffinthecourseoftheday.

Mystockwasconsiderablyextensive;sothatIwasawalking

budgetofbalderdash.Yetevenmyestateinnonsenserequired

economy;andIbegantogetoutatelbows,soastobereducedto

borrowfrommyself,andmortgagemyresourcestwentytimesover:

butwhentheshallowcurrentofwitandwisdomwasnearlyatits

summerdrought,atorrentofmatter-of-factliesgavenewforce

totheexhaustedstreamofquibble.Intrigueswhichneverhad

beenintrigued,andpracticaljokeswhichhadneverbeenplayed

offwerethetoolsIworkedwith,andexactlytothelevelofthe

grandduke:nay,whatoftenhappenstodulldealersin

inextinguishablevivacity,themorningswerespentinfinaciering

thosehindsofconversation,whichweretobedrawnuponafter

dinner,asiffromaperennialspringofpreternaturalwealth.

Ihadeventheimpudencetosetupforapoet,andmademy

broken-windedmusetrottothepraisesoftheprince.Iallow

candidlythattheverseswereexecrable;butthentheywerequite

goodenoughfortheirreaders;anditremainsadoubtwhether,if

theyhadbeenbetter,thegranddukewouldnothavethrownthem

intothefire.Theyseemedtobejustwhathewouldhavewritten

uponhimself.Inshort,itwasimpossibletomisstheproper

styleonsuchasubjectButwhatevermightbemymeritasapoet,

theprince,bylittleandlittle,tooksuchalikingtomy

person,asgaveoccasionofjealousytohiscourtiers.Theytried

tofindoutwhoIwas.This,however,wasbeyondtheircompass.

Alltheycouldlearnwas,thatIhadbeenarenegado.Thiswas

whisperedforthwithintheprince’sear,inthehopesofhurting

me.Notthatitsucceeded:onthecontrary,thegranddukeone

daycommandedmetogivehimafaithfulaccountofmyadventures

atAlgiers.Iobeyed;andtherecital,withoutreserveonmy

part,contributedmorethananyotherofmystoriestohis

entertainment

DonRaphael,saidhe,afterIhadendedmynarrative,Ihavea

realregardforyou,andmeantogiveyouaproofofit,which

willplacemysinceritybeyondadoubtHenceforthyouare

admittedintomymostprivateconfidence,asthefirstfruitsof

which,youaretoknowthatoneofmyministershasawife,with

whomIaminlove.Sheisthemostenchantingcreatureatcourt;

butatthesametimethemostimpregnable.Shutupinherown

household,exclusivelyattachedtoahusbandwhoidolizesher,

sheseemstobeignorantofthecombustionhercharmshave

kindledinFlorence.Youwilleasilyconceivethedifficultyof

suchaconquestAndyetthisepitomeofloveliness,sodeafto

allthewhispersofcommonseduction,hassometimeslistenedto

mysighs.Ihavefoundthemeansofspeakingtoherwithout

witnesses.Sheisnotunacquaintedwithmysentiments.Idonot

flattermyselfwithhavingwarmedherintolove;shehasgivenme

noreasontoformsosweetaconjecture.YetIwillnotdespair

ofpleasingherbymyconstancy,andbythecautiousconduct,

eventomystery,whichItakecaretoobserve.

Mypassionforthislady,continuedhe,isknownonlytoherself.

Insteadofpursuingmygamewantonly,andoverleapingtherights

ofmysubjectslikeatruesovereign,Iconcealfromallthe

worldtheknowledgeofmylove.Thisdelicacyseemsdueto

Mascarini,thehusbandofmybelovedmistress.Hiszealand

attachmenttome,hisservicesandhonesty,obligemetoactin

thisbusinesswiththeclosestsecrecyandcircumspection.Iwill

notplungeadaggerintothebosomofthisill-starredhusband,

bydeclaringmyselfasuitortohiswife.Wouldhemightforever

beinsensible,wereitwithinpossibility,tothesecretflame

whichdevoursme:forIampersuadedthathewoulddieofgrief,

werehetoknowthecircumstancesIhavejustnowconfidedto

you.Ithereforeveilmypursuitinimpenetrabledarkness;and

havedeterminedtomakeuseofyou,forthepurposeofconveying

toLucretiathemeritofthesacrificesmydelicacyimposesonmy

feelings.Oftheseyoushallbetheinterpreter.Idoubtnotbut

youwillacquityourselftoamarvelofyourcommission.Contrive

tobeintimatewithMascarini;makeapointofwormingyourself

intohisfriendship.Thenanintroductiontohisfamilywillbe

easy;andyouwillsecuretoyourselfthelibertyofconversing

freelywithhiswife.ThisiswhatIrequirefromyou,andwhatI

feelassuredthatyouwillexecutewithallthedexterityand

discretionnecessarytosodelicateanundertaking.

Ipromisedthegrandduketodomyutmost,infurtheranceofhis

goodopinion,andinaidofhissuccesswiththeobjectofhis

desires.Ikeptmywordwithoutlossoftime.Nopainswere

sparedtogetintoMascarini’sgoodgraces;andthedesignwas

notdifficulttoaccomplish.Delightedtofindhisfriendship

soughtbyamanpossessingtheaffectionsoftheprince,he

advancedhalfwaytomeetmyovertures.Hishousewasalwaysopen

tome,myintercoursewithhisladywasunrestrained;andIhave

nohesitationinaffirmingmymeasurestohavebeentakenso

well,astohaveprecludedtheslightestsuspicionoftheembassy

intrustedtomymanagement.Itistrue,hehadbutasmallshare

oftheItalianjealousy,relyingashedidonthevirtueofhis

Lucretia;sothatheoftenshuthimselfupinhiscloset,and

leftmealonewithher.Ienteredatonceintothepithand

marrowofmysubject.Thegrandduke’spassionwasmytopicwith

thelady;andItoldherthatthemotiveofmyvisitswasonlyto

pleadforthatprince.Shedidnotseemtobeoverheadandears

inlovewithhim;andyet,methought,vanityforbadehertofrown

decisivelyonhisaddresses.Shetookapleasureinlisteningto

hissighs,withoutsighinginconcert.Acertainproprietyof

heartshehad;butthenshewasawoman;anditwasobviousthat

herrigourwasgivingwayinsensiblytothetriumphantimageofa

sovereign,boundinthefettersofherresistlesscharms.In

short,theprincehadgoodreasontoflatterhimselfthathe

mightdispensewiththeillbreedingofaTarquin,andyetbend

Lucretiatoacompliancewithhislongings.Anincident,however,

themostunexpectedintheannalsofromance,blastedhis

flatteringprospects;inwhatmanneryoushallhear.

Iamnaturallyfreeandeasywiththewomen.Thisconstitutional

assurance,whetherablessingoracurse,wasripenedinto

inveteratehabitamongtheTurks.Lucretiawasaprettywoman.I

forgotthatIwascourtingbyproxy,andassumedthetoneofa

principal.Nothingcouldexceedthewarmthandgallantrywith

whichIofferedmyservicestothelady.Farfromappearing

offendedatmyboldness,orsilencingmebyaresentfulanswer,

sheonlysaidwithasarcasticsmile:Ownthetruth,DonRaphael;

thegranddukehaspitcheduponaveryfaithfulandzealous

agent.Youservehimwithanintegritynotsufficientlytobe

commended.Madam,saidIinthesamestrain,letusnotexamine

thingswithtoomuchnicety.Atruce,Ibeseechyou,withmoral

discussions;theyarenotofmyelement:goodhonestpassion

talliesbetterwithournatures.Idonotbelievemyself,after

all,thefirstprince’sconfidantwhohasoustedhismasterinan

affairofgallantry;yourgreatlordshaveoftendangerous

rivals,inmorehumblemessengersthanmyself.Thatmaybe,

repliedLucretia:butahaughtytemperstandswithmeinthe

placeofvirtue,andnooneunderthedegreeofaprinceshall

eversullythesecharms.Regulateyourbehaviouraccordingly,

addedsheinatoneofseriousseverity,andletuschangethe

subject.Iwillinglyburyyourpresumptioninoblivion,provided

youneverholdsimilardiscoursetomeagain:ifyoudo,youmay

repentofit.

Thoughthiswasacommentofsomeimportanceonmytext,and

oughttohavebeenheedfullyconnedover,itwasnobartomy

stillentertainingMascarini’swifewithmypassion.Ieven

pressedherwithmoreimportunitythanheretofore,forakind

consenttomytenderentreaties;andwasrashenoughtofeelmy

ground,bysomelittlepersonalfreedoms.Theladythen,offended

atmywords,andstillmoreatmyMahometanquipsandcranks,

gaveacompletesetdowntomyassurance.Shethreatenedto

acquaintthegranddukewithmyimpertinence;anddeclaredshe

wouldmakeapointofhispunishingmeasIdeserved.These

menacesbristledupmyspiritinreturn.Myloveturnedatonce

intohatred,anddeterminedmetorevengemyselfforthecontempt

withwhichLucretiahadtreatedme.Iwentinquestofher

husband;andafterhavingboundhimbyoathnottobetrayme,I

informedhimofhiswile’scorrespondencewiththeprince,and

failednottorepresentherasdistractedlyenamouredofhim,by

wayofheighteningtheinterestofthescene.Theminister,lest

theplotshouldbecometoointricatelyentangled,shuthiswife

up,withoutanylawbuthisownwill,inasecretapartment,

whoreheplacedherunderthestrictguardofconfidential

persons.Whileshewasthuskeptatbaybythewatch-dogsof

jealousy,whopreventedherfromacquaintingthegranddukewith

hersituation,Iannouncedtothatprince,withamelancholyair,

thathemustthinknolongerofLucretia.Itoldhimthat

Mascarinihaddoubtlessdiscoveredall,sincehehadtakenit

intohisheadtokeepaguardoverhiswife:thatIcouldnot

conceivewhathadinducedhimtosuspectme,asIflattered

myselfwithhavingalwaysbehavedaccordingtothemostapproved

rulesofdiscretioninsuchcases.Theladymight,Isuggested,

havebeenbeforehand,andownedalltoherhusband;andhad

perhaps,inconcertwithhim,sufferedherselftobeimmured,in

ordertoliehidfromapursuitsodangeroustohervirtue.The

princeappeareddeeplyafflictedatmyrelation.Iwasnot

unmovedbyhisdistress,andrepentedmorethanonceofwhatI

haddone;butitwastoolatetoretract.Besides,Imust

acknowledge,aspitefuljoytingledinmyveins,whenImeditated

onthedistressedconditionofthedisdainfulfair,whohad

spurnedmyvows.

Iwasfeedingwithimpunityonthepleasureofrevenge,so

palatabletoalltheworld,butmostofalltoSpaniards,when

onedaythegrandduke,chattingwithfiveorsixnoblesofhis

courtandmyself,saidtous:Inwhatmannerwouldyoujudgeit

fittingforamantobepunished,whoshouldhaveabusedthe

confidenceofhisprince,anddesignedtostepinbetweenhimand

hismistress?Thebestway,saidoneofthecourtiers,wouldbe

tohavehimtorntopiecesbyfourhorses.Anothergaveitashis

verdict,thatheshouldbesoundlybeaten,tillhediedunderthe

blowsoftheexecutioner.Themosttender-heartedandmercifulof

theseItalians,withcomparativelenitytowardstheculprit,

wishedonlyjusttoadmonishhimofhisfault,bythrowinghim

fromthetopofatowertothebottom.AndDonRaphael,resumed

thegranddukeafterapause,whatishisopinion?TheSpaniards,

inalllikelihood,wouldimproveuponourItalianseverity,isa

caseofsuchaggravatedtreachery.

Ifullyunderstood,asyoumaywellsuppose,thatMascarinihad

notkepthisoath,orthathiswifehaddevisedthemeansof

acquaintingtheprincewithwhathadpassedbetweenherandme.

Mycountenancesufficientlybetokenedmyinwardagitation.But

forallthat,suppressingaswellasIcouldmyrisingemotion

andalarm,Irepliedtothegranddukeinasteadytoneofvoice

—Mylord,theSpaniardsaremoregenerous;undersuch

circumstances,theywouldpardontheunworthybetrayerofhis

trust,andbythatactofunmeritedgoodnesswouldkindleinhis

soulaneverlastingabhorrenceofhisownvillany.Yes,truly,

saidtheprince,andIfedinmyownbreastasimilarspiritof

forbearance.Letthetraitorthenbepardoned;sinceIhave

myselfonlytoblameforhavinggivenmyconfidencetoamanof

whomIhadnoknowledge,but,onthecontrary,muchgroundof

suspicion,accordingtothecurrentofcommonreport.Don

Raphael,addedhe,myrevengeshallbeconfinedtothissingle

interdict.Quitmydominionsimmediately,andneverappearagain

inmypresence.Iwithdrewinallhaste,lesshurtatmy

disgrace,thandelightedtohavegotoffsocheaply.Thevery

nextdayIembarkedinaBarcelonaship,justsettingsailfrom

theportofLeghornonitsreturn.

AtthisperiodofhishistoryIinterruptedDonRaphaeltothe

followingeffect.Foramanofshrewdness,methinksyouwerenot

alittleoffyourguard,intrustingyourselfatFlorencefor

evensoshortatime,afterhavingdiscoveredtheprince’slove

ofLucretiatoMascarini.Youmightwellhaveforebodedthatthe

granddukewouldnotbelongingettingtotheknowledgeofyour

duplicity.Yourobservationisveryjust,answeredthewell-matchedsonofsoeccentricamotherasLucinda:andforthat

reason,nottrustingtotheminister’spromiseofscreeningme

fromhismaster’sindignation,ithadbeenmyintentionto

disappearwithouttakingleave.

IgotsafetoBarcelona,continuedhe,withtheremnantofthe

wealthIhadbroughtfromAlgiers;butthegreaterparthadbeen

squanderedatFlorenceinenactingtheSpanishgentleman.Idid

notstaylonginCatalonia.Madridwasthedearplaceofmy

nativity,andIhadalongingdesiretoseeitagain,whichI

satisfiedassoonaspossible;forminewasnotatempertostand

parleyingwithitsowninclinations.Onmyarrivalintown,I

chancedtotakeupmyabodeinaready-furnishedlodging,where

dweltalady,bynameCamilla.Thoughatsomedistancefromher

teens,shewasaveryspirit-stirringcreature,asSignorGil

Blaswillhearmeoutinsaying;forhefellinwithherat

Valladolidnearlyaboutthesametime.Herpartswerestillmore

extraordinarythanherbeauty;andneverhadaladywitha

charactertoletahappiertalentofinveiglingfoolstotheir

ruin.Butshewasnotlikethoseselfishjilts,whoputoutthe

cullibilityoftheirloverstousury.Thepillageoftheplodding

merchant,orthegravefamilyman,wassquandereduponthefirst

gamblerorprize-fighterwhohappenedtofindhiswayintoher

frolicsomefancy.

Welovedoneanotherfromthefirstmoment,andtheconformityof

ourtempersboundussocloselytogether,thatwesoonlivedon

thefootingofjointproperty.Theamount,insobersadness,was

littlebetterthanacypher,andafewgooddinnersmorereduced

ittothatignoblenegativeofnumber.Wewereeachofus

thinking,asthedeucewouldhaveit,ofourmutualpleasures,

withoutprofitingintheleastbythosehappydispositionsof

oursforlivingattheexpenseofotherfolks.Wantatlastgave

akeeneredgetoourwits,whichindulgencehadblunted.Mydear

Raphael,saidCamilla,letuscarrythewarintotheenemy’s

quarters,ifyouloveme;forwhileweareasfaithfulas

turtles,weareasfoolish;andfallintoourownsnare,instead

oflayingitfortheunwary.Youmaygetintotheheadandheart

ofarichwidow;Imayconjuremyselfintothegoodgracesof

someoldnobleman:butasforthisridiculousfidelity,itbrings

nogristtothemill.ExcellentCamilla,answeredI,youare

beforehandwithme.Iwasgoingtomaketheverysameproposal.

Itexactlymeetsmyideas,thouparagonofmorality.Yes;the

bettertomaintainourmutualfire,letusforageforsubstantial

fuel.Asgoodmayalwaysbeextractedoutofevil,those

infidelitieswhicharethebaneofotherloves,shallbethe

triumphofours.

Onthebasisofthistreatywetookthefield.Atfirst,there

wasmuchcrybutlittlewool;forwehadnoluckatfinding

cullies.Camillametwithnothingbutprettyfellows,with

vanityintheirhearts,tinselontheirbacks,andnotamaravedi

intheirpockets;myladieswereallofakidneytolevy,rather

thantopaycontributions.Asloveleftusinthelurch,wepaid

ourdevotionsattheshrineofknavery.Withthezealofmartyrs

toanewreligion,didweencounterthefrownsofthecivil

power,whosemyrmidons,aslikethedevilintheirnatureas

theiroffice,wereorderedonthelook-outafterus;butthe

alguazil,withallthegoodqualitiesofwhichthecorregidor

inheritedthecontraries,gaveustimetomakeourescapeoutof

Madrid,forthegoodofthetradeandasmallsumofmoney.We

tooktheroadtoValladolid,meaningtosetupinthattown.I

rentedahouseformyselfandCamilla,whopassedformysister,

toavoideviltongues.Atfirstwekeptatightreinoverour

speculativetalents,andbeganbyreconnoitringthegroundbefore

wedeterminedonourplanofoperations.

Onedayamanaccostedmeinthestreet,withaverycivil

salutation,tothiseffect—SignorDonRaphael,doyou

recollectmyface?Iansweredinthenegative.ThenIhavethe

advantageofyou,repliedhe,foryoursisperfectlyfamiliarto

me.IhaveseenyouatthecourtofTuscany,whereIwasthenin

thegrandduke’sguards.ItissomemonthssinceIquittedthat

prince’sservice.IcameintoSpainwithanItalian,whowillnot

discreditthepoliticsofhiscountry:wehavebeenatValladolid

thesethreeweeks.OurresidenceiswithaCastiliananda

Galician,whoare,withoutdispute,twoofthebestcreaturesin

theworld.Welivetogetherbythesweatofourbrows,andthe

labourofourhands,Ourfareisnotabstemious,norhavewemade

anyvowagainstthetemptationsofalifeaboutthecourtIfyou

willmakeoneofourparty,mybrethrenwillbegladofyour

company;foryoualwaysseemedtomeamanofspirit,aboveall

vulgarprejudices,inshort,amonkofourorder.

Suchfranknessfromthisarch-scoundrelwasmethalf-waybymine.

Sinceyoutalktomewithsowinningacandour,saidI,you

deservethatIshouldbeequallyexplicitwithyou.Ingoodtruth

Iamnonoviceinyourritual;andifmymodestywouldallowme

tobetheheroofmyowntale,youwouldbeconvincedthatyour

complimentswerenotlavishedonanunworthysubject.Butenough

ofmyowncommendations;proceedwetothepointinquestion.

Withallpossibledesiretobecomeamemberofyourbody,Ishall

neglectnoopportunityofprovingmytitletothatdistinction.I

hadnosoonertoldthissharperatallpoints,thatIwouldagree

toswellthenumberofhisgang,thanheconductedmetotheir

placeofmeeting,andintroducedmeinproperform.Itwason

thisoccasionthatIfirstsawtherenownedAmbrosedeLamela.

Thesegentlemencatechisedmeinthereligionofcovetingmy

neighbour’sgoods,anddoingasIwouldnotbedoneby.They

wantedtodiscernwhetherIplayedthevillainonprinciple,or

hadonlysomelittlepracticaldexterity;butIshewedthem

trickswhichtheydidnotknowtobeonthecards,andyet

acknowledgedtobebetterthantheirown.Theywerestilldeeper

lostinadmiration,whenincooldisdainofmanualartifice,as

aneverydayeffortofingenuity,Imaintainedmyprowessinsuch

combinationsofrogueryasrequireaninventivebrainandasolid

judgmenttosupportthem.Inproofofthesepretensions,I

relatedtheadventureofJeromedeMoyadas;andonthissingle

specimenofmyparts,theyconceivedmygeniusofsohighan

order,astoelectmebycommonconsentfortheirleader.Their

choicewasfullyjustifiedbyahostofslipperydevices,of

whichIwasthemaster-wheel,thecorner-stone,oraccordingto

whateverothermetaphorinmechanicsyoumaybestexpressthe

soulofaconspiracy.Whenwehadoccasionforafemaleperformer

toheightentheinterest,Camillawassentuponthestage,and

playeduptoadmirationinthepartsshehadtoperform.

Justatthatperiod,ourfriendandbrotherAmbrosewasseized

withalongingtoseehisnativecountryoncemore.Hewentfor

Galiciawithanassurancethatwemightreckononhisreturn.The

visitcuredhispatrioticsickness.Ashewasontheroadback,

havinghaltedatBurgostostrikesomestrokeofbusiness,an

innkeeperofhisacquaintanceintroducedhimintotheserviceof

SignorGilBlasdeSantillane,notforgettingtoinstructhim

thoroughlyinthestateofthatgentleman’saffairs.SignorGil

Blas,pursuedDonRaphael,addressinghisdiscoursetome,you

knowinwhatmannerweeasedyouofyourmoveablesinaready-furnishedlodgingatValladolid;andyoumustdoubtlesshave

suspectedAmbrosetohavebeentheprincipalcontriverofthat

exploit,andnotwithoutreason.Onhiscomingintotown,heran

himselfoutofbreathtofindus,andlaidopeneveryparticular

ofyoursituation,sothattheassociatedswindlershadnothing

todobuttobuildonhisfoundation.Butyouareunacquainted

withtheconsequencesofthatadventure;youshallthereforehave

themonmyauthority.Yourportmanteauwasmadefreewithby

Ambroseandmyself.Wealsotookthelibertyofridingyourmules

inthedirectionofMadrid,notdroppingtheleasthintto

Camillanortoourpartnersininiquity,whomusthavepartaken

insomemeasureofyourfeelingsinthemorning,atfindingtheir

gloryshornoftwosuchbeams.

Ontheseconddaywechangedourpurpose.Insteadofgoingto

Madrid,whenceIhadnotsalliedforthwithoutanurgentmotive,

wepassedbyZebreros,andcontinuedourjourneyasfaras

Toledo.Ourfirstcare,inthattown,wastodressourselvesin

thegenteeleststyle;thenassumingthecharacteroftwobrothers

fromGaliciaonourtravelsofmerecuriosity,wesoongot

acquaintedinthemostrespectablecircles.Iwassomuchinthe

habitofactingthemanoffashion,asnoteasilytobedetected;

andasthegeneralityofpeopleareblindedbyafree

expenditure,wethrewdustintotheeyesofalltheworld,bythe

elegantentertainmentstowhichweinvitedtheladies.Amongthe

womenwhofrequentedourparties,therewasonenotindifferent

tome.SheappearedmorebeautifulthanCamilla,andcertainly

muchyounger.Iinquiredwhoshewas;andlearnedthathername

wasViolante,andthatshewasmarriedtoanungratefulspark,

whosoongrewwearyofherchastecaresses,andwasrunningafter

thoseofaprostitute,withwhomhewasinlove.Therewasno

needtosayanymore,todeterminemeonenthroningViolantethe

sovereignladyandmistressofmythoughtsandaffections.

Shewasnotlongincomingtotheknowledgeofherconquest.I

beganbyfollowingheraboutfromplacetoplace,andplayinga

hundredmonkeytrickstoinstilintohercomprehension,that

nothingwouldpleasemebetterthantheofficeofmakingher

amendsfortheillusageofherhusband.Theprettycreature

ruminatedonmyprofferedkindness,andtosuchpurposeastolet

meknowintheendthatmylabourwasnotwastedonanungrateful

soil.IreceivedanotefromherinanswertoseveralIhad

transmittedbyoneofthoseconvenientolddowagers,insuchhigh

requestthroughoutSpainandItaly.Theladysentmewordthat

herhusbandsuppedwithhismistresseveryevening,anddidnot

returnhometillverylate.Itwasimpossibletomistakethe

meaningofthis.OnthatverynightIplantedmyselfunder

Violante’swindows,andengagedherinamosttender

conversation.Atthemomentofparting,itwassettledbetweenus

thateveryevening,atthesamehour,weshouldmeetandconverse

onthesameeverlastingtopic,withoutgainsayinganysuchother

actsofgallantryasmightsafelybesubmittedtothepeeringeye

ofday.

HithertoDonBalthazar,asViolante’shusbandwascalled,hadno

reasontocomplainofhisforehead;butIwasanatural

philosopher,andlittlesatisfiedwithmetaphysicalendearments.

Oneevening,therefore,Irepairedundermylady’swindows,with

thedesignoftellingherthattherewasanendoflifeand

everything,ifwecouldnotcometogetheronmoreaccommodating

termsthanfromthebalconytothestreet;forIhadneveryet

beenabletogetintothehouse.JustasIgotthither,aman

camewithinsight,apparentlywiththeviewofdoggingme.In

fact,itwasthehusbandreturningearlierthanusualfromhis

preciousbitofamusement;butobservingamalenuisancenearhis

nunnery,insteadofcomingstraighthome,hewalkedbackwardsand

forwardsinthestreet.ItwasalmostamootpointwithmewhatI

oughttodo.Atlast,IresolvedonaccostingDonBalthazar,

thoughneitherofushadtheslightestknowledgeofeachother.

Noblegentleman,saidI,youwoulddomeamostparticularfavour

byleavingthestreetvacanttomeforthisonenight;Iwoulddo

asmuchforyouanothertime.Sir,answeredhe,Iwasjustgoing

tomakethesamerequesttoyou.Iamonthelook-outaftera

girl,overwhomaconfoundedfellowofabrotherkeepswatchand

wardlikeagaoler;andshelivesnottwentyyardsfromthis

place.Icouldwishtocarryonmyprojectwithoutawitness.We

havethemeans,repliedI,ofattainingbothourendswithout

clashing;fortheladyofmydesireslivesthere,addedI,

pointingtohisownhouse.Wehadbetterevenhelponeanother,

incaseofbeingattacked.Withallmyheart,resumedhe;Iwill

gotomyappointment,andwewillmakecommoncauseifneedbe.

Underthispretencehewentaway,butonlytoobservemethemore

narrowly;andthedarknessofthenightfavouredhisdoingso

withoutdetection.

Asforme,ImadeuptoViolante’sbalconyinthesimplicityof

myheart.Shesoonheardmysignal,andwebeganourusual

parley.Iwasnotremissinpressingtheidolofmyworshipto

grantmeaprivateinterviewinsomesafeandpracticableplace.

Shewasrathercoytomyentreaties,asfavourshardlyearnedare

thehighervalued:atlengthshetookaletteroutofherpocket,

andflungitdowntome.There,saidshe,youwillfindinthat

scrapofpaperthepromiseofwhatyouhaveteasedmesolong

about.Shethenwithdrew,asthehourapproachedwhenherhusband

usuallycamehome.Iputthenoteupcarefully,andwenttowards

theplacewhereDonBalthazarhadtoldmethathisbusinesslay.

Butthatstaunchhusband,withthesagacityofanoldsportsman

wherehisownwifewasthegame,camemorethanhalf-waytomeet

me,withthisquestion:Well,goodsir,areyousatisfiedwith

yourhappyfortunes?Ihavereasontobeso,answeredI.Andas

foryourself,whathaveyoudone?hastheblindgodbefriended

you?Alas!quitethecontrary,repliedhe;thatimpertinent

brother,whotakessuchlibertieswithmybeauty,thoughtfitto

comebackfromhiscountryhouse,whencewehuggedourselvesas

surethathewouldnotreturntillto-morrow.Thisinfernal

chancehasputallmysoftandsoothingpleasuresoutoftune.

Nothingcouldexceedthemutualpledgesoflastingfriendship

whichwereexchangedbetweenDonBalthazarandme.Todrawthe

cordsthecloser,wemadeanappointmentforthenextmorningin

thegreatsquare.Thisplottinggentleman,afterwehadparted,

betookhimselftohisownhouse,withoutgivingViolanteatall

tounderstandthatheknewmoreaboutherthanshewishedhim.On

thefollowingdayhewaspunctualinthegreatsquare,andIwas

notfiveminutesafterhim.Weexchangedgreetingswithallthe

warmthofoldfriendship;butitwasavapourtomisleadonhis

part,thoughasparkofheavenlyflameonmine.Inthecourseof

conversation,thishypocriticalDonBalthazarpalmeduponmea

fictitiousconfidence,respectinghisintriguewiththelady

aboutwhomhehadbeenspeakingthenightbefore.Heputtogether

alongstoryhehadbeenmanufacturingonthatsubject,andall

thistohookmeintotellhim,inreturn,bywhatmeansIhad

gotacquaintedwithViolante.Thesnarewastoosubtleformeto

escape;Iownedallwiththeinnocenceofanew-bornbabe.Idid

notevenstickatshewingthenoteIhadreceivedfromher,and

readthecontents,tothefollowingpurport:“Iamgoingto-morrowtodinewithDonnaInez.Youknowwhereshelives.Itis

inthehouseofthatconfidentialfriendthatImeantopasssome

happymomentsalongwithyou.Itisimpossiblelongertorefusea

boonyourpatiencehassowellmerited.”

Hereindeed,saidDonBalthazar,isanepistlewhichpromisesto

crownallyourwishesatonce.Icongratulateyoubeforehandon

yourapproachinghappiness.Hecouldnothelpfidgetingand

wrigglingalittle,whilehetalkedinthesetermsofhisown

household;butallhishitchesandwryfacespassedoff,andmy

eyeswereasfastsealedasever.Iwassofullofanticipating

titillations,asnottothinkofnoticingmynewfriend,whowas

obligedtogetoffasfastasbecould,forfearofbetrayinghis

agitationinmypresence.Herantoacquainthisbrother-in-law

withthisstrangeoccurrence.Iknownotwhatmightpassbetween

them:itisonlycertainthatDonBalthazarhappenedtoknockat

DonnaInca’sdoor,justwhenIwasatthatlady’shousewith

Violante.Wewerewarnedwhoitwas,andIescapedbyabackdoor

exactlyashewentinatthefrontAssoonasIhadgotsafeoff,

thewomen,whomtheunexpectedvisitofthistroublesomehusband

haddisconcertedalittle,recoveredtheirpresenceofmind,and

withitsolargeastockofassurance,astostandthebruntof

hisattack,andputhimtoanonplusinascertainingwhetherthey

hadhidmeorsmuggledmeout.Icannotexactlytellyouwhathe

saidtoDonnaIncaandhiswife;nordoIbelievethathistory

willeverfurnishanyauthenticparticularsofthesquabble.

Inthemeantime,withoutsuspectingyethowcompletelyIwas

gulledbyDonBalthazar,Isalliedforthwithcursesinmymouth,

andreturnedtothegreatsquare,whereIhadappointedLamelato

meetme.ButnoLamelawasthere.Healsohadhislittlesnug

parties,andthescoundrelfaredbetterthanhiscomrade.AsI

waswaitingforhim,Icaughtaglimpseofmytreacherous

associate,withaknowingsmileuponhiscountenance.Hemadeup

tome,andinquired,withaheartylaugh,whatnewsofmy

assignationwithmynymph,undertheconvenientroofofDonna

Inca.Icannotconceive,saidI,whatevilspirit,jealousofmy

joys,takesdelighttonipthemintheirblossom:butafterwe

hadembraced,kissed,protested,and,asitwere,spokethe

prologueofourcomedy,comesthepeakingcornutoofahusband

(thefuriesflyawaywithhim),andknocksatthedoorinthe

instantofourencounter.Therewasnothingtobedonebutto

securemyretreatasfastaspossible.SoIgotoutataback

door,sendingtoalltheinhabitantsofhellanditssuburbsthe

jealousknave,whowassouncivilastosearchanotherlady’s

houseforhisownhorns.Iamsorryyouspedsoill-favouredly,

exclaimedDonBalthazar,whowaschucklingwithinward

satisfactionatmydisappointment.Whatamechanicalrogueofa

husband!Iwouldadviseyoutoshewnomercytothewittol.Oh!

youneednotteachmehowtopredominateoversuchapeasant,

repliedI.Takemywordforit,anewquartershallbeaddedto

hiscoatofarmsthisverynight.Hiswife,whenIwentaway,

toldmenottobefaint-heartedforsuchatrifle;buttoplace

myselfwithoutfailunderherwindowsatanearlierhourthan

usual,forshewasresolvedtoletmeintothehouse;andasa

precautionagainstallaccidents,shebeggedmetobringtwoor

threefriendsinmytrain,forfearofasurprise.Whata

discreetandinventivelady!saidhe.Ishouldhavenoobjection

tobeingofyourparty.Ah!mydearfriend,exclaimedI,outof

witswithjoy,andthrowingmyarmsaboutDonBalthazar’sneck,

howinfinitelyyouwillobligeme!Iwilldomore,resumedhe;I

knowayoungman,armedlikeanotherCaesar,foreitherfieldof

loveorwar;heshallbeofournumber,andyoumaythenrely

boldlyonthesufficiencyofyourescort.

Iknewnotinwhatwordstothankthisseemingfriend,sothatmy

gratitudemightbeequivalenttohiszeal.Tomakeshortofthe

matter,Iacceptedhisprofferedaid.Ourmeetingwasfixedunder

Violante’sbalconyearlyintheevening,andweparted.Hewent

inquestofhisbrother-in-law,whowastheheroinquestion.As

forme,IwalkedaboutalldaywithLamela,whohadnomore

misgivingsthanmyself,thoughsomewhatastonishedatthewarmth

withwhichDonBalthazarengagedinmyinterests.Wesliptour

ownneckscompletelyintothenoose.Iownthiswasmere

infatuationonourparts,whosenaturalinstinctoughttohave

warnedusofahalter.WhenIthoughtitpropertimetopresent

myselfunderViolante’swindows,AmbroseandItookcaretobe

armedwithsmallswords.Therewefoundthehusbandofmyfair

dameandanotherman,waitingforuswithaverydeterminedair.

DonBalthazaraccostedme,andintroducinghisbrother-in-law,

said:Sir,thisisthebraveofficerwhoseprowessIhave

extolledsohighlytoyou.Makethebestofyourwayintoyour

mistress’shouse,andletnofearoftheconsequencesbeanybar

totheenjoymentofthemostrapturoushumanbliss.

Afteramutualinterchangeofcompliments,Iknockedat

Violante’sdoor.Itwasopenedbyakindofduenna.InIwent,

andwithoutlookingbackafterwhatwaspassingbehindme,made

thebestofmywaytothelady’sroom.WhileIwaspayinghermy

preliminarycivilities,thetwocut-throats,whohadfollowedme

intothehouse,andhadbangedthedoorafterthemsoviolently

thatAmbrosewasleftinthestreet,madetheirappearance.You

maywellsupposethatthenwastheappealtoarms.Theybothfell

uponmeatthesametime,butIshewedthemsomeplay.Ikept

themengagedoneithersidesofiercely,thattheyweresorry

perhapsnottohavetakenasaferroadtotheirrevenge.The

husbandwasrunthroughthebody.Hisbrother-in-law,seeinghim

onhistravelstotheshadesbelow,madethebestofhiswayto

thedoor,whichtheduennaandViolantehadopened,tomaketheir

escapewhilewewerefighting.Iranafterhimintothestreet,

whereImetwithLamelaoncemore,whobydintofnotbeingable

togetawordoutofthewomen,runningastheydidfortheir

verylives,didnotknowexactlywhathewastodivinefromthe

infernalnoisehehadjustheard.Wegotbacktoourinn.After

packingupwhatwasbestworthtakingwithus,wemountedour

mules,andgotoutoftown,withoutwaitingfordaybreakorfear

ofrobbers.

Itwassufficientlyclearthatthisbusinesswasnotlikelytobe

withoutitsconsequences,andthatahueandcrywouldbesetup

inToledo,whichweshouldactlikewisementoanticipatebya

retreat.WestayedthenightatVilarubia.Attheinnwherewe

putup,sometimeafterourarrival,therealightedatradesman

ofToledoonhiswaytoSegorba.Weclubbedoursuppers.He

relatedtousthetragicalcatastropheofViolante’shusband;and

sofarwashefromsuspectingusofbeingpartiesconcerned,that

weinquiredintoparticularswiththecuriousindifferenceof

commonnewsmongers.Gentlemen,saidhe,justasIwassettingout

thismorning,thereportofthismelancholyeventwashanded

about.EveryonewasonthehuntafterViolante;andtheysay

thatthecorregidor,arelationofDonBalthazar,isdetermined

onsparingnopainstodiscovertheperpetratorsofthismurder.

Somuchformyknowledgeofthebusiness.

ThecorregidorofToledoandhispolicegavemeverylittle

uneasiness.Butforfearoftheworst,Ideterminedto

precipitatemyretreatfromNewCastile.Itoccurredtomethat

Violante,whenhuntedoutofherhiding-place,wouldturn

informer,andinthatcaseshemightgivesuchadescriptionof

mypersontotheclerksinofficeasmightenablethemtoput

theirscoutsuponarightscent.Forthisreason,onthe

followingdaywestruckoutofthehighroad,asameasureof

safety.FortunatelyLamelawasacquaintedwiththree-fourthsof

Spain,andknewbywhatcrosspathswecouldgetsecurelyinto

Arragon.InsteadofgoingstraighttoCuen�a,wethreadedthe

defilesofthemountainsoverhangingthattown,andarrived,by

wayswithwhichmyguidewaswellacquainted,atagrottolooking

verymuchlikeahermitage.Infact,itwastheveryplace

whitheryoucameyesterdayeveningtopetitionmeforanasylum.

WhileIwasreconnoitringtheneighbourhood,whichpresenteda

mostdeliciouslandscapetomyview,mycompanionsaidtome,It

issixyearssinceItravelledthisway.Atthattimethegrotto

beforeusaffordedaretreattoanoldhermitwhoentertainedme

charitably.Hemademefareashedid.Irememberthathewasa

holyman,andtalkedinsuchastrainasalmosttoweanmefrom

thevicesandfolliesofthisnetherworld.Hemaypossiblybe

stillliving;Iwillascertainwhetheritbesoornot.With

thesewordsinhismouth,Ambrose,undertheinfluenceofnatural

curiosity,alightedfromhismule,andwentintothehermitage.

Heremainedtheresomeminutes,andthenreturned,callingafter

me,andsaying,Comehither,DonRaphael,comeandbearwitness

toamostaffectingevent.Idismountedimmediately.Wetiedour

mulestoatree,andIfollowedLamelaintothegrotto,whereI

descriedanoldanchoretstretchedathislengthuponacouch,

paleandatthepointofdeath.Awhitebeard,verythick,hung

downtohismiddle,andheheldalargerosary,mostpiously

ornamented,inhisclaspedhands.Atthenoisewhichwemadein

comingnearhim,heopenedhiseyes,uponwhichdeathhadalready

beguntolayhisleadenhand;andafterhavinglookedatusfora

moment,said,“Whosoeveryouare,mybrethren,profitbythe

spectaclewhichpresentsitselftoyourobservation.Ihaveseen

outfortyyearsintheworld,andsixtyinthissolitude.But

mark!Atthiseternalcrisis,thetimeIhavedevotedtomy

pleasuresseemsanage,andthatonthecontrarywhichhasbeen

sacredtorepentance,butaminute!Alas!Ifearlestthe

austeritiesofbrotherJuanshouldbefoundlightinthebalance

withthesinsofthelicentiateDonJuandeSolis.”

Nosoonerwerethesewordsoutofhismouththanhebreathedhis

last.Wewerestruckbythesolemnscene.Objectsofthiskind

alwaysmakesomeimpressionevenonthegreatestlibertines;but

ourseriousthoughtswereofnolongduration.Wesoonforgot

whathehadbeensayingtous,andbegunmakinganinventoryof

whatthehermitagecontained;anemploymentwhichwasnot

oppressivelylaborious,sincethehouseholdfurnitureextendedno

furtherthanwhatyouremarkedinthegrotto.BrotherJuanwas

notonlyinill-furnishedlodgings;hiskitchen,too,wasina

veryrusticplightAllthestorelaidinconsistedofsomesmall

nutsandsomepiecesofcrustybarleybreadashardasflint,

whichhadalltheappearanceofhavingbeenimpregnabletothe

gumsofthevenerableman.Ispecifyhisgums,becausewelooked

forhisteeth,andfoundtheyhadalldroppedout.Thewhole

arrangementofthissolitaryabode,everyobjectthatmetour

eyes,madeuslookuponthisgoodanchoretasapatternof

sanctity.Onethingonlystaggeredusinouropinion.Weopeneda

paperfoldedintheformofaletter,andlyinguponthetable,

whereinhebesoughtthepersonwhoshouldreadthecontents,to

carryhisrosaryandsandalstothebishopofCuen�a.Wecould

notmakeoutinwhatspiritthismodernrecluseofthedesert

couldaimatmakingsuchapresenttohisbishop.Itseemedtous

totreadsomewhatontheheelsofhishumility,andtosavourof

onewhowasacandidateforanicheinthecalendar.Though

indeeditmightbe,thattherewasnothinginitbutasimple

supposition,thatthebishopwassuchanotherashimself;but

whetherhisignorancewasreallysoextreme,Ishallnotpretend

todecide.

Intalkingoverthissubject,averypleasantideaoccurredto

Lamela.Letustakeupourabode,saidhe,inthisholyretreat.

Thedisguiseofhermitswillbecomeus.BrotherJuanmustbelaid

quietlyintheearth.Youshallpersonatehim;andformyself,in

thecharacterofbrotherAnthony,Iwillgoandseewhatistobe

doneintheneighbouringtownsandvillages.Besidesthatwe

shallbetoocunninglyensconcedforthepryingcuriosityofthe

corregidor,sinceitisnottobesupposedthathewillthinkof

cominghithertolookforus,Ihavesomegoodconnectionsat

Cuen�a,whichmaybeofessentialservicetous.Ifellinwith

thisoddwhim,notsomuchforthereasonsgivenmebyAmbrose,

asincompliancewiththehumourofthething,andasitwereto

playapartinadramaticpiece.Wemadeanexcavationinthe

groundataboutthirtyorfortyyardsfromthegrotto,andburied

theoldanchorettherewithoutanypompousrites,afterhaving

strippedhimofhiswardrobe,whichconsistedofasinglegown

tiedroundthemiddlewithaleatherngirdle.Welikewise

despoiledhimofhisbeardtomakemeanartificialone:and

finally,afterhisinterment,wetookpossessionofthe

hermitage.

Thefirstdayourtablewasbutmeanlyserved;theprovisionsof

thedeceasedwereallwehadtofeedon;butonthefollowing

morning,beforesunrise,Lamelasetofftosellthetwomulesat

Toralva,andreturnedintheevening,ladenwithprovisionsand

otherarticleswhichhehadpurchased.Hebroughteverything

necessarytometamorphoseuscompletely.Forhimselfhehad

providedagownofcoarsedarkcloth,andalittleredhorse-hair

beard,soingeniouslyappendedtohisears,thatonewouldhave

swornithadbeennatural.Thereisnotaclevererfellowinthe

universeforafrolic.BrotherJuan’sbeardwasalsonew-modelled,andadaptedtotheplumpnessofmyface.Mybrown

woollencapcompletedthemasquerade.Infact,nothingwas

wantingtomakeuspassforwhatwewerenot.Ourequipagewasso

ludicrouslyoutofcharacter,thatwecouldnotlookatone

anotherwithoutlaughing,underagarbsodiametricallyat

variancewithourgeneralcomplexion.WithbrotherJuan’smantle,

Icaughtandkepthisrosaryandsandals;takingthelibertyof

borrowingthemforthetimebeingfromthebishopofCuen�a.

Wehadalreadybeenthreedaysinthehermitage,withouthaving

beeninterruptedbyalivingsoul;butonthefourth,two

countrymencameintothegrotto.Theybroughtbread,cheese,and

onions,forthedeceased,whomtheysupposedtobestillliving.

Ithrewmyselfonourmiserablecouchassoonastheymadetheir

appearance;anditwasnotdifficulttoimposeonthem.Besides

thatitwastoodarktodistinguishmyfeaturesaccurately,I

imitatedthevoiceofbrotherJuan,whoselastwordsIhadheard,

tothebestofmyability.Theyhadnosuspicionofthetrick,

thoughagooddealsurprisedatfindinganotherhermitthere.

Lamela,takingadvantageoftheirstupidwonder,saidina

cantingtone:Mybrethren,benotastonishedatseeingmeinthis

solitude.IhavequittedahermitageofmyowninArragon,to

comehitherandbeacompaniontothevenerableandedifying

brotherJuan,who,athisadvancedage,wantsayoke-fellowto

administertohisnecessities.Therusticslavishedtheirclumsy

panegyricsonthecharityofAmbrose,andcongratulated

themselvesthattheymighttriumphovertheirneighbours,and

boastoftwoholypersonagesresidingintheircountry.

Lamela,ladenwithalargewalletwhichhehadnotforgotten

amongthenumberofhispurchases,wentforthefirsttimeto

reconnoitrethetownofCuen�a,whichisbutaveryshort

distancefromthehermitage.Withamortifiedexterior,bywhich

naturehaddubbedhimforacheat,andtheartofmakingthat

naturaldeceptiongoasfaraspossible,byamosthypocritical

andfactitiousarrayoffeatures,hecouldnotfailtoplayupon

thefeelingsofthecharitableandhumane,andthosewhomheaven

hasblessedwithaffluence.Hisknapsackboretestimonytothe

extravaganceoftheirpiousliberalities.MasterAmbrose,said.I

onhisreturn,Icongratulateyouonyourhappyknackat

softeningthesoulsofallgoodChristians.Aswehopetobe

saved!onewouldsupposethatyouhadbeenamendicantfriar

amongtheCapuchins.Ihavedonesomethingelsebesidesbringing

infoodfortheconvent,answeredhe.YoumustknowthatIhave

ferretedoutacertainlasscalledBarbara,withwhomIusedto

flirtformerly.Sheisasmuchalteredasanyofus:forshealso

hasaddictedherselftoagodlylife.Sheformsacoteriewith

twoorthreeothersanctifieddames,whoareanexampletothe

faithfulinpublic,andflounceoverheadandearsineverysort

ofprivatevice.Shedidnotknowmeagainatfirst.Whatthen,

mistressBarbara,saidI,isitpossiblethatyoushouldhave

dischargedoneofyouroldestfriendsfromyourremembrance,your

servantAmbrose?AsIamatrueChristian,SignordeLamela,

exclaimedshe,Ineverthoughttohaveturnedyouupinsucha

garbasthat.Bywhattransformationareyoubecomeahermit?

ThisismorethanIcantellyoujustnow,rejoinedI.The

particularsareratherlong;butIwillcometomorrowevening

andsatisfyyourcuriosity.Nay,more;IwillbringbrotherJuan,

mycompanion,alongwithme.BrotherJuan,interruptedshe,the

venerablehermitwhohastakenuphissaintlyresidencenearthis

town?Youdonotknowwhatyouaresaying;heissupposedtobe

morethanahundredyearsold.Itisverytrue,saidI,thathe

wasofthatagesomelittlewhileago;buttime;indeferenceto

hissanctity,hasgonebackwardwithhim;andheisgrown

considerablyyoungerwithinthesefewdays.Heisatpresentjust

aboutmyturnoflife.Sayyouso!Thenletushavehimtoo,

repliedBarbara.Iperceivethereissomethingmoreinthis

mysterythanthechurchwillbeabletoexplain.

Wedidnotmissourappointmentwiththesewhitedsepulchreson

thefollowingnightTomakeourreceptionthemoreagreeable,

theyhadlaidoutasumptuousentertainment.Offwentourbeards

andcowls,andvestmentsofmortification;andwithoutany

squeamishnessweconfessedourbirth,education,andreal

character,tothesesistersinhypocrisy.Ontheirpart,forfear

ofbeingbehindhandwithusinfreedomfromprejudice,they

fairlyletusseeofwhatpretendedreligionistsarecapable,

whentheydroptheveilofthesanctuary,andexhibittheir

unmanufacturedfaces.Wespentalmostthewholenightattable,

andgotbacktoourgrottobutamomentbeforedaybreak.Wewere

notlonginrepeatingourvisit;or,ifthetruthmustbetold,

itwasnightlyforthreemonths;tillwehadateupmorethan

two-thirdsofourwaysandmeansinthecompanyofthesedelicate

creatures.Butanunsuccessfulcandidatefortheirfavourgot

windofourproceedings,andpratedofourwhereaboutintheear

ofjustice,whichwastohavebeeninmotiontowardsthe

hermitagethisveryday,tolayholdofourpersons.Yesterday

Ambrose,whilepickingupeleemosynaryatCuen�a,stumbledupon

oneofourwhiningsisterhood,whogavehimanote,withthis

caution:Afemalefriendofminehaswrittenmethisletter,

whichIwasgoingtosendtoyoubyamanonpurpose.Shewitto

brotherJuan,andregulateyourproceedingsaccordingly.Itwas

thisverynote,gentlemen,thatLamelagavemeinyourpresence,

whichoccasionedustotakesoabruptaleaveofoursolitary

dwelling.

CH.II—DonRaphael’sconsultationwithhiscompany,andtheir

adventuresastheywerepreparingtoleavethewood.

WHENDonRaphaelhadfinishedthenarrativeofhisadventurous

life,which,withalltheotherqualitiesofaromance,hadthe

tediousness,DonAlphonso,accordingtothelawsofgood

breeding,sworehimselfblackinthefacethathehadbeen

prodigiouslyentertained.Aftertheusualexchangeof

compliments,SignorAmbroseputinhisoar,withanadmonitory

hinttothepartnerofhisexploitsandperegrinations.Consider,

DonRaphael,thatthesunissetting.Itwouldnotbeamiss,

methinks,totakecounselonwhatwearetodo.Youareinthe

right,answeredhiscomrade,wemustdetermineontheplaceof

ourdestination.Formyownpart,repliedLamela,Iamofopinion

thatweshouldgetupontheroadagainwithoutlossoftime,

reachRequenato-night,andenterupontheterritoryofValencia

to-morrow,wherewewillgotoworkfulltiltatouroldtrade.I

havesomeprognosticatingtwitches,whichtellmethatweshall

strikesomegoodstrokesinthatquarter.Hiscolleague,from

ampleexperienceofhisinfallibilityinsuchprophecies,voted

onhissideofthequestion.AsforDonAlphonsoandmyself,

havingnothingtodobuttofollowtheleadofthesetwoworthy

gentlemen,wewaited,insilentacquiescence,theissueofthis

momentousdebate.

Thusitwasdeterminedthatweshouldtakethedirectionof

Requena;andallhandswerepipedtomakethenecessary

arrangements.Wemadeourmealafterthesamefashionasinthe

morning,andthehorsewasladenwiththebottle,andwiththe

remnantofourprovisions.Afteratime,theapproachofnight

seemedtopromiseusthatdarknesssofriendly,andevenso

necessary,tothesafetyofourretreat;andwewerebeginning

ourmarchthroughthewood:butbeforewehadgoneahundred

paces,alightamongthetreesgaveusasubjectofanxious

speculation.Whatcanbethemeaningofthat?saidDonRaphael;

thesesurelymustbebloodhoundsofthepolicefromCuen�a,

uncoupledandeagerforthesport,withafreshscentofusin

thisforest,andinfullcryaftertheirgame.Iamofavery

differentopinion,saidAmbrose;theyaremorelikelytobe

benightedtravellerstakingshelterinthethickettilldaybreak.

Butthereisnotrustingtoconjecture:Iwillexamineintothe

realtruth.Stayyouhereallthreeofyou;Iwillbebackagain

instantly.Nosoonersaidthandone;hestole,justasifhehad

beenusedtoit,towardsthelight,whichwasnotfaroff;no

bruteorhumanthiefofforestorcitycouldhavedoneitbetter.

Withagentleremovaloftheleavesandbrancheswhichobstructed

hispassage,thewholescenewaslaidopentohissilent

contemplation;anditaffordedsufficientfood.Onthegrass,

roundaboutalightedcandlewithaclodforitscandlestick,

wereseatedfourmen,justfinishingameatpie,andhugginga

prettylargebottle,whichwasatitslastgasp,afterhaving

sustainedtheiralternateembracesforsuccessiverounds.Atsome

pacesfromthesegentry,heespiedaladyandgentlemantiedto

thetrees,andalittlefurtheroff,acarriagewithtwomules

richlycaparisoned.Hedeterminedatonceinhisownmindthat

thefellowscarousingonthegroundwerebanditti;andthetenor

oftheirtalkassuredhimthathehadnotbeliedtheirtradeby

hisconjecture.Thefourcut-throatsallavowedalikedesireof

possessingthefemalewhohadfallenintotheirhands;andthey

wereproposingtodrawlotsforher.Lamela,havingmadehimself

masterofthebusiness,camebacktous,andgaveanexact

accountofallhehadseenandheard.

Myfriends,saidDonAlphonsoonhisrecital,thatladyand

gentlemanwhomtherobbershavetiedtotrees,areprobably

personsofthefirstcondition.Shallwesufferscoundrelslike

thesetotriumphovertheirhonourandtakeawaytheirlives?Put

yourselvesundermydirection:letusassailthedesperate

outlaws,andtheywillperishunderourattack.Withallmy

heart,saidDonRaphael.Itisallonetome,Ihadjustassoon

engageontherightsideasonthewrong.Ambrose,forhispart,

protestedthathewishedfornothingbetterthantolendahand

insomoralanenterprise,asitpromisedtocombinemuchprofit

withsomeshareofhonour.Andindeed,ifamanmayspeakagood

wordforhimself,dangerstoodbetterrecommendedthanusualto

mycomprehension;alltheboilingcourageofknighthood,pledged

uptotheknucklesofthechinonthebehalfoffemaleinnocence,

wasoozingoutateveryporeofthischivalrousperson.But,if

wearetostatefactsinthespiritofhistoryratherthanof

romance,thedangerwasmoreinimaginationthaninreality.

Lamelahavingbroughtuswordthatthearmsoftherobberswere

allpiledupatthedistanceoftenortwelvepacesoutoftheir

reach,therewasnodifficultyinsecuringthemasteryofthe

field.Wetiedourhorsestoatree,anddrewnear,assoftlyas

possible,tothespotwheretherobberswereseated.Theywere

debatingwithsomeimpetuosity,andtheirvociferousargumentwas

allinfavourofourcovertattack.Wegotpossessionoftheir

armsbeforetheyhadanysuspicionofus.Buttheenemywas

nearerthantheyimagined:tooneartomissaim,andtheywere

allstretchedlifelessontheground.

Duringtheconflictthecandlewentout,sothatweproceededin

ourbusinessbyguess-work.Wewerenotremiss,however,in

unbindingtheprisoners,ofwhomfearhadgotsuchcomplete

possession,thattheyhadnottheirwitsenoughaboutthemto

thankusforwhatwehaddoneforthem.Itmustbeallowedthat

theycouldnotatfirstdistinguishwhethertheyweretoconsider

usastheirdeliverers,orasafreshgangwhohadtakenthemout

ofonefurnacetocastthemhissingintoanother.Butwe

recoveredtheirspiritsbytheassurance,thatweshouldlodge

themsafelyinapublic-housewhichAmbrosementionedasnot

beingmorethanhalfamileoff,whencetheymighttakeall

necessarymeasurestopursuetheirjourneyinwhateverdirection

theythoughtproper.Afterthesewordsofcomfort,whichseemed

tosinkdeep,weplacedthemintheircarriage,andconducted

themoutofthewood,holdingtheirmulesbythebridle.Our

clericalfriendsinstitutedaghostlyvisitationtothepockets

ofthevanquishedbanditti.OurnextstepwastorecoverDon

Alphonso’shorse.Wealsotooktoourselvesthesteedsofthe

robbers,waitingastheyweretobereleasedfromthetreesto

whichtheyweretiednearthefieldofbattle.Withthis

extensivecavalcadewefollowedbrotherAnthony,mountedonone

ofthemules,andconductingthecarriagetotheinn,whitherwe

didnotarriveinlessthantwohours,thoughhehadpledgedhis

creditthatthedistancefromthewoodwasveryshort.

Weknockedroughlyatthedoor.Everylivingcreaturewas

napping,exceptthefleas.Thelandlordandlandladygotontheir

clothesinahurry,andwerenotatallannoyedatfindingtheir

restdisturbedbythearrivalofanequipage,whichpromisedto

domoreforthegoodofthehousethaniteventuallydid.The

wholeinnwaslightedupinaninstant.DonAlphonsoandthe

stage-bredsonofLucindalenttheirassistancetothegentleman

andladyinalightingfromthecarriage,andactedastheir

ushersinleadingthewaytotheroompreparedforthembythe

landlord.Complimentsflewbackwardsandforwardslike

shuttlecocks;butwewerenotalittleastonishedatdiscovering

theCountdePolanhimselfandhisdaughterSeraphina,inthe

personswehadjustrescued.Itwouldbedifficulttorepresent

bywordsthesurpriseofthatlady,aswellasofDonAlphonso,

whentheyrecognizedeachother’sfeatures.Thecounttookno

noticeofit,hisattentionbeingengrossedbyothermatters.He

setaboutrelatingtousinwhatmannertherobbershadattacked

him,andhowtheysecuredhisdaughterandhimself,afterhaving

killedhispostilion,apage,andavalet-de-chambre.Heended

withdeclaringhowdeeplyhefelthisobligation;andthatifwe

wouldcalluponhimatToledo,whereheshouldbeinamonth,we

shouldjudgeforourselveswhetherhefeltasagratefulheart

oughttofeel.

Hislordship’sdaughterwasnotbackwardinheracknowledgments

forhertimelyrescue;andaswewereofopinion,thatis,

Raphaelandmyself,thatweshoulddoagoodturntoDonAlphonso

bygivinghimanopportunityofaminute’sprivateparleywith

theyoungwidow,wecontrivedtokeeptheCountdePolaninplay.

LovelySeraphina,saidDonAlphonsototheladyinalowvoice,I

nolongerlamentoverthelotwhichobligesmetolivelikeaman

banishedfromcivilsociety,sinceIhavebeensofortunateasto

assistintheimportantservicejustrenderedyou.Whatthen!

answeredshe,withasigh,isityouwhohavesavedmylifeand

honour?Isittoyouthatwearesoindebted,myselfequallywith

myfather?Ah!DonAlphonso,whywereyoutheinstrumentofmy

brother’sdeath?Shesaidnomoreuponthesubject;buthe

conceivedclearlybythesewords,andbythetoneinwhichthey

werepronounced,thatifhewasoverheadandearsinlovewith

Seraphina,shewasequallyoutofherdepthinthesamepassion.

BOOKTHESIXTH.

CH.I.—ThefateofGilBlasandhisCompanionsafterthey

tookleaveoftheCountdePolan.OneofAmbrose’snotable

contrivancessetoffbythemannerofitsexecution.

THECountdePolan,afterhavingexhaustedhalfthenightin

thankingus,andprotestingthatwemightreckonuponhis

substantialacknowledgments,sentforthelandlordtoconsulthim

onthebestmethodofgettingsafelytoTuris,whitheritwashis

intentiontogo.Wehadnothingtodowiththisnobleman’s

furtherprogress,andthereforelefthimtotakehisown

measures.Ourdeparturefromtheinnwasnowresolvedon;andwe

followedLamelalikesheepafterthebell-wether.

Aftertwohours’travelling,thedayovertookusnearCampillo.

Wemadeasexpeditiouslyaspossibleforthemountainsbetween

thathamletandRequena.Thereweworeoutthedayintakingour

restandreckoningupourstock,whichthespoiloftherobbers

hadconsiderablyreplenished,totheamountofmorethanthree

hundredpistoles,thelawfulravageoftheirpockets.Webegan

ourmarchagainwiththesetting-inofthenight;andonthe

followingmorningreachedthefrontierofValenciainsafety.We

gotquietlyintothefirstwoodthatofferedasashelter.The

inmostrecessesofitwerebestsuitedtoourpurpose,andledus

onbywindingpathstoaspotwherearivuletoftransparent

waterwasmeanderinginitsslowandsilentcourse,to

incorporatewiththewatersofGuadalaviar.Therefreshingshade

affordedbythefoliage,andtherichpasturageinwhichour

toil-wonbeastssomuchdelighted,wouldhavefixedthisforthe

placeofourhalting,ifourresolutionhadnotbeenpreviously

takentothateffect.

Wethereforealighted,andwerepreparingtopassthedayvery

pleasantly,butagoodbreakfastwasamongsttheforemostofour

intendedpleasures;andwefoundthattherewasverylittle

ammunitionleft.Breadwasbeginningtobeanonentity;andour

bottlewasbecominganevidenceofthematerialsystem,mere

carnalleatherwithoutavivifyingsoul.Gentlemen,saidAmbrose,

sceneryandthepicturesquehavebuthungrycharmsforme,unless

BacchusandCerespresideoverthelandscape.Ourprovisionsmust

belengthenedout.Forthispurpose,awaypostItoXelva.Itis

averyprettytown,notmorethantwoleaguesoff.Ishallsoon

makethislittleexcursion.Speakingafterthismanner,heslung

thebottleandthewalletoverahorse’sback,leapedmerrily

intohisseat,andshotoutofthewoodwitharapiditywhich

seemedtobidfairforaspeedyreturn,

Hedidnot,however,comebackquitesosoonashehadgivenus

reasontoexpect.Morethanhalfthedayhadelapsed;nay,night

herselfwasalreadyprankingupherdunandgloomywings,to

overshadowthethicketwithadenserhorror,whenwesawour

purveyoronceagain,whoselongstaywasbeginningtogiveus

someuneasiness.Ourextremewisheswerelameandimpotent,

comparedwiththeabundanceofhisstores.Henotonlyproduced

thebottlefilledwithsomeexcellentwine,andthewallet

stuffedwithgameandpoultryreadydressed,tosaynothingof

bread;thehorsewasladenbesideswithalargebundleofstuffs,

ofwhichwecouldmakeneitherheadnortail.Hetooknoticeof

ourwonder,andsaidwithasmile:Iwilllayawager,neither

DonRaphaelnorallthecollegesofsoothsayersuponearthcan

guesswhyIhaveboughtthesearticles.Withthisflingatour

dulness,weuntiedthebundle,andlecturedontheintrinsic

valueofwhatwehadbeenconsideringonlyasanemptypageant.

Intheinventorywasacloakandablackgownoftrailing

dimensions;doublets,breeches,andhosetocorrespond;an

inkstandandwritingpaper,suchasasecretaryofstateneednot

beashamedof;akey,suchasatreasurermightcarry;agreat

sealandgreenwax,suchasachancellormightaffixtohis

decrees.Whenhehadatlengthexhaustedthedisplayofhis

bargains,DonRaphaelobservedinabanteringtone—Faithand

troth,MasterAmbrose,itmustbeconfessedthatyouhavemadea

goodsensiblespeculation.Butpray,howdoyoumeantoturnthe

pennyonyourpurchase?Letmealoneforthat,answeredLamela.

Allthesethingscostmeonlytenpistoles,anditshallgohard

buttheybringusinabovefivehundred.Thetensinfivehundred

arefifty;agoodimprovementofmoney,mymasters!Iamnota

mantoburdenmyselfwithatrumperypedlar’spack;andtoprove

toyouthatIhavenotbeenmakingducksanddrakesofourjoint

stock,Iwillletyouintothesecretofaplanwhichhasjust

takenbirthinmypericranium.

Afterhavinglaidinmystockofbread,Iwentintoacook’s

shop,whereIorderedarangeofpartridges,chickens,andyoung

rabbits,half-a-dozenofeach,tobeputinstantlyonthespit.

Whiletheserelishinglittlearticleswereroasting,incamea

maninaviolentpassion,open-mouthedagainstthecoarseconduct

ofatradesmantohisconsequentialself.Thisfaggotoffury

observedtothelordparamountofthedripping-pan:ByStJames!

SamuelSimonisthemostwrong-headedretaildealerinthetown

ofXelva.Hehasjustinsultedmeinhisownshopbeforehis

customers.Theskinflintwouldnottrustmeforsixellsof

cloth,thoughheknowsverywellthatmycreditisasgoodasthe

bank,andthatnoonecouldsayheeverlostanythingbyme.Are

notyoudelightedwiththeoutlandishmonster?Hehasno

objectiontogettingpeopleoffashiononhisbooks.Hehad

rathertossupheadsortailswiththem,thanobligeaplain

citizeninanhonestway,andbepaidinfullatthetime

appointed.Whatastrangewhim!ButheisaninfernalJew.He

willbetakeninsomedayorother!Allthemerchantsonthe

Exchangearelyinginwaittocatchhimuponthehip;andhis

disgraceorruinwillbenutstome.

Whilethisreptileofthewarehousewasthusspittinghisspite

andblurtingoutmanyotherill-naturedinnuendoes,therecame

overmeasortofastrologicalanticipationthatIshouldbelord

oftheascendantoverthisSamuelSimon.Myfriend,saidItothe

manwhowascomplainingagainstthathawkerofdamagedgoods,of

whatcharacteristhestrangefellowyouaretalkingabout?Ofa

confoundedlybadcharacter,answeredheinapet,Dependonit,

heisoneofthemostextortionateusurersinexistence,though

withtheaffectationofnotlettinghislefthandknowwhathis

rightgivesawayincharity.HewasaJew,andhasturned

Catholic;butripyourwayintohisheartifhehasany,andyou

willfindhimstillasinveterateaJewaseverPilatewas.As

forhisconversionitwasallinthewayoftrade.

Itookinwithgreedyearthewholeinvectiveoftheshopkeeping

declaimant,andfailednot,oncomingoutoftheeating-house,to

inquireforSamuelSimon’sresidence.Apersondirectedmetothe

partofthetown,andtherewasnodifficultyinfindingoutthe

house.Itwasnotenoughtoskimmyeyecursorilyoverhisshop.

Ipeeredintoeveryholeandcornerofit;andmyimagination,

alwaysonthealertwhenanyprofitistobepickedup,has

alreadyengenderedarogue’strick,whichonlywaitstheperiod

ofgestation,whenitmayturnoutabantlingnotunworthytobe

fatheredbythesanctimoniousservantofSignorGilBlas.

StraightwaywentItotheready-madewarehouse,whereIbought

thesedresses,intowhichwemaystuffaninquisitor,anotary,

andanalguazil,andplaythepartsinthespiritofthesolemn

officestheyrepresent.

Ah!mydearAmbrose,interruptedDonRaphael,transportedwith

raptureatthesuggestion,whatawonderfulidea!aglorious

schemeindeed!Iamquitejealousofthecontrivance.Willingly

wouldIblotouttheproudestquarterfrommyescutcheon,tohave

ownedaneffortofgeniussotranscendent.Yes,Lamela,Isee,my

friend,alltherichinventionofthedesign,andyouneedbeat

nolossforinstrumentstocarryitintoeffect.Youwanttwo

goodactorstoplayuptoyou;andyouhavenotfartolookfor

them.Youhaveyourselfafacethatcanlooksanctified,

magisterial,orblood-thirstyatwill,andmaydoverywellto

representtheinquisition.Mycharactershallbethatofthe

notary;andSignorGilBlas,ifhepleases,mayenactthe

alguazil.Thusarethepersonsofthedramadistributed:to-morrowwewillplaythepiece,andIwillpledgemyselfforits

success,batingoneofthoseunluckychancemedleys,whichturn

awrythecurrentsofthemostpithyandmomentousenterprises.

AsyetDonRaphael’smasterpieceofrogueryhadmadebutaclumsy

impressiononmyploddingbrain;buttheargumentofthefable

wasdevelopedatsupper-time,andthehingeuponwhichitturned

was,tomymind,ofaningeniouscontrivance.Afterhaving

despatchedpartofourgame,andbledourbottletothelast

stageofevacuation,westretchedourlengthuponthegrass,and

soonfellfastasleep.Upwithyou!upwithyou!wasthealarum

ofSignorAmbrose,asthedaybeguntodawn.Peoplewhohavea

greatenterpriseonhandoughtnottoindulgethemselvesin

indolence.Aplagueuponyou,masterinquisitor,saidDon

Raphael,rubbinghiseyes,youareconfoundedearlyonthemove!

ItisasgoodasanorderforexecutiontomasterSamuelSimon.

Manyatruewordisspokeninjest,repliedLamela.Nay,you

shallknowmore,addedhewithasarcasticgrin.Idreamtlast

nightthatIwaspluckingthehairsoutofhisbeard.Wasnot

thataleft-handeddreamforhim,mastersecretary?These

pleasanthitswerefollowedbyathousandothers,whichcalled

forthnewburstsofmerriment.Ourbreakfastpassedoffwiththe

utmostgaiety;andwhenitwasover,wemadeourarrangementsfor

thepageantwehadgotup.Ambrosearrayedhimselfinsables,as

befittedsoghostlyaninstrumentforthesuppressionofvice.We

alsotooktoourofficialhabits;norhasthedignityof

magistracybeenoftenmoregravelyrepresentedthanbyDon

Raphaelandmyself.Themakingupofourpersonswasrathera

tediousoperation;foritwaslaterthantwoo’clockinthe

afternoonwhenwesalliedfromthewoodtoattendourcallat

Xelva.Itistrue,therewasnohurry,sincetheplaywasnotto

begintillthesetting-inoftheevening.Thatbeingthecase,we

joggedonleisurely,andstoppedatthegatesofthetowntill

thedaywasclosed.

Atthateventfulhour,weleftourhorseswheretheywere,tothe

careofDonAlphonso,whowasverywellsatisfiedtohaveso

humbleacastinthedistribution.AsforDonRaphael,Ambrose,

andmyself,ourfirstvisitwasnottoSamuelSimoninperson,

buttoatavern-keeperwholivedverynearhim.Hisreverencethe

inquisitorwalkedforemost.Inwenthetothebar;andsaid

gravelytothelandlord:Master,Iwanttospeakawordwithyou

inprivate.Theobsequiouspublicanshewedusintoaroom,where

Lamela,nowthatwehadgothimtoourselves,said:Ihavethe

honourtobeanunworthymemberoftheholyoffice,andamcome

hereonabusinessofverygreatimportance.Atthisintimation,

themanofliquorturnedpale,andansweredinatremuloustone

thathewasnotconsciousofhavinggivenanyumbragetotheholy

inquisition.True,repliedAmbrosewithencouragingaffability;

neitherdowemeditateanyharmagainstyou.Heavenforbid,that

augusttribunal,toohastyinitspunishments,shouldmakeno

distinctionbetweenguiltandinnocence.Itisunrelenting,but

alwaysjust:tobecomeobnoxioustoitsvengeance,youmusthave

earneditsdispleasurebywickednessorcontumacy.Besatisfied

thereforethatitisnotyouwhobringmetoXelva,butacertain

dealerandchapman,bynameSamuelSimon.Averyuglystoryabout

himhascomeroundtous.HeisstillaJewinhisheart,they

say;andhasonlyembracedChristianityfromsordidandsecular

motives.Icommandyou,inthenameofthetremendouscourtI

represent,totellmeallyouknowaboutthatman.Bewarehowyou

areinducedbygoodneighbourhood,orpossiblybyclose

friendship,toglossoverandpalliatehiserrors;for,Iwarn

youauthoritatively,ifIdetecttheslightestprevaricationin

yourevidence,youareyourselfevenasoneoftheabandonedand

accursed.Whereismysecretary?pursuedhe,turningdowntowards

DonRaphael.Sitdownanddoyourduty.

MrSecretary,withhispaperalreadyinhishandandhispen

behindhisear,tookhisseatmostpompously,andmadereadyto

takedownthelandlord’sdeposition;whopromisedsolemnlyonhis

partnottosuppressonetittleoftherealfact.Sofar,so

good!saidtheworshipfulcommissioner;wehaveonlytoproceed

inourexamination.Youwillonlyjustanswermyquestions;but

donotinterlardyourreplieswithanycommentsofyourown.Do

youoftenseeSamuelSimonatchurch?Ineverthoughtoflooking

forhim,saidthedrawerofcorks;butIdonotknowthatIever

sawhimthereinmylife.Verygood!criedtheinquisitor.Write

downthatthedefendantnevergoestochurch.Idonotsayso,

yourworship,answeredthelandlord,IonlysaythatInever

happenedtoseehimthere.Wemayhavebeenatchurchtogether

andyetnothavecomeacrosseachother.Mygoodfriend,replied

Lamela,youforgetthatyouaredeposingtofacts,andnot

arguing.RememberwhatItoldyou;contemptofcourtisaheinous

offence.Youaretogiveasoundanddiscreetevidence;every

iotaofwhatmakesagainsthim,andnotawordinhisfavour,if

youknewvolumes.Ifthatisyourpractice,Ouprightand

impartialjudge,resumedourhost,mytestimonywillscarcelybe

worththetroubleoftaking.Iknownothingaboutthetradesman

youareinquiringafter;andthereforecantellneithergoodnor

harmofhim:butifyouwishtoexamineintothehistoryofhis

privatelife,IwillrunandcallGaspard,hisapprentice,whom

youmayquestionasmuchasyouplease.Theladcomesandtakes

hisglassheresometimeswithhisfriends.Blessus,whata

tongue!Hewillripupalltheminutestactionsofhismaster’s

life,andfindemploymentforyoursecretarytillhiswrist

aches,takemywordforit.

Ilikeyouropendealing,saidAmbrosewithanodofapprobation.

Topointoutamansocapableofspeakingtothebadmoralsof

Simon,isaninstanceofChristiancharityaswellasof

religiouszeal.Ishallreportyouveryfavourablytothe

inquisition.Makehaste,therefore;goandfetchthisGaspard,of

whomyouspeak;butdothethingcautiously,sothathismaster

mayhavenosuspicionofwhatisgoingforward.Themultiplierof

scoresacquittedhimselfofhiscommissionwithduediligenceand

laudableprivacy.Ourlittleshopmancamealongwithhim.The

youthhadatonguewithatang,andwasjustthesortoffellow

thatwewanted.Welcome,mygoodyoungman!saidLamela,You

beholdinmeaninquisitor,appointedbythatvenerablebodyto

collectinformationsagainstSamuelSimon,onanaccusationof

stilladheringtoJudaisminhissecretdevotions.Youarean

inmateofhisfamily,consequentlyyoumustbeaneye-witnessto

manyofhismostprivatetransactions.Itprobablymaybe

unnecessarytowarnyou,thatyouareobligedinconscience,and

byfearofpunishment,todeclareallyouknowabouthim,

notwithstandinganypromisetothecontrary,whenIorderyouso

todoonthepartoftheholyinquisition.Mayitpleaseyour

reverence,answeredtheploddinglittlerascal,Iamquiteready

tosatisfyyourheart’sdesireonthathead,withoutbeing

commandedtheretointhenameoftheholyoffice.Ifevermy

acquittalwastodependonmymaster’scharacterofme,Iam

persuadedthatmychancewouldbeasorryone;andforthat

reason,Ishallservehimashewouldserveme.AndImaytell

youinthefirstplace,thatheisafly-by-nightwhose

proceedingsitisnoeasymattertotakemeasureof;amanwho

putsonallthestarchformalitiesofaninveteratereligionist,

butatbottomhasnotasparkofprincipleinhiscomposition.He

goeseveryeveningdanglingafteralittlegirlnobetterthan

sheshouldbe….Iamvastlygladindeedtofindthat,

interruptedAmbrose,becauseIplainlyperceive,byallyouhave

beentellingme,thatheisamanofcorruptmoralsand

licentiouspractices.Butanswerpointbypointtothequestions

Ishallputtoyou.Itisaboveallonthesubjectofreligion

thatIamcommissionedtoinquireintohissentimentsand

conduct.Praytellme,doyoueatmuchporkatyourhouse?Ido

notthink,answeredGaspard,thatwehaveseenitattabletwice

intheyearthatIhavelivedwithhim.Betterandbetter!

repliedtheparagonofinquisitorswritedowninlegible

charactersthattheynevereatporkinSamuelSimon’sfamily.But

asaset-offagainstthat,doubtlessajointoflambisservedup

everynowandthen?Yes,everynowandthen,rejoinedthe

apprentice;wekilledoneforourownconsumptionaboutlast

Easter.Theseasonispatandtothepurpose,criedthe

ecclesiasticalcommissioner.Come,writedown,thatSimonkeeps

thepassover:Thisgoesonmerrilytoacompleteconviction;and

itseems,wehavegotagoodserviceableinformationhere.

Tellmeagain,myfriend,pursuedLamela,whetheryouhavenot

oftenseenyourmasterfondleyoungchildren.Athousandtimes,

answeredGaspard.Whenheseesthelittleurchinsplayingabout

beforetheshop,iftheyhappentobepretty,hecallsthemin

andmakesmuchofthem.Writethatdown,besureyouwritethat

down!interruptedtheinquisitor.SamuelSimonisverygrievously

suspectedoflyinginwaitforChristianchildren,andenticing

themintohisdentocircumcisethem.Vastlywell!vastlywell,

indeed,MasterSimon!youwillhaveanaccounttosettlewiththe

societyforthesuppressionofJudaism,takemywordforit.Do

nottakeitintoyoursavageheadthatsuchbloodysacrificesare

tobeperpetratedwithimpunity.Aprettyuseyoumakeofbaptism

andshaving!Cheerup,religiousGaspard,thouforemostofelect

apprentices!Makeafullconfessionofallthymaster’ssins;

completethinehonesttestimonybytellingushowthissimularof

aCatholicismorethaneverweddedtohisJewishcustomsand

ceremonies.Isitnotafact,thatonedayintheweekhesits

withhishandsbeforehim,andwillnotevenperformthemost

necessaryofficesforhimself?No,answeredGaspard,Ihavenot

exactlyobservedthat.Whatcomesnearesttoitisthatonsome

daysheshutshimselfupinhiscloset,andstaystherealong

time.Ay!nowwehaveit,exclaimedthecommissary.Hekeepsthe

sabbath,orIamnotaninquisitor.Notethatparticularly,

officer;notethatheobservesthefastofthesabbathmost

superstitiously!Outuponhim!Whatashockingfellow!One

questionmore,andhisbusinessisdone.Isnothealways

parleyingaboutJerusalem?Prettyoftenindeed,repliedour

informer.HeknowstheOldTestamentbyheart,andtellsushow

thetempleofJerusalemwasdestroyed.Theverything!resumed

Ambrose.Secretary!besureyoudonotneglectthatfeatureof

thecase.Write,inlettersofaninchlong,thatSamuelSimon

hascontractedwiththedevilfortherebuildingofthetemple,

andthatheisplottingdayandnightforthere-establishmentof

hisnation.ThatisallIwanttoknow;anditislabourinvain

topursuetheexaminationanyfurther.WhatGaspard,inthe

spiritoftruthandcharity,hasdeposed,wouldbesufficientto

makeabonfireofallJewry.

Whentheaugustmouth-pieceoftheholytribunalhadsiftedthe

littlescoundrellyapprenticeafterthismanner,hetoldhimhe

mightgoabouthisbusiness;atthesametimecommandinghim,

undertheseverestpenaltiesoftheinquisition,nottosaya

wordtohismasteraboutwhatwasgoingforward.Gaspardpromised

implicitobedience,andmarchedoff.Wewerenotlongincoming

afterhim:ourprocessionfromtheinnwasasgraveandsolemnas

ourpilgrimagethereunto,tillweknockedatSamuelSimon’sdoor.

Heopeneditinperson.Threefiguressuchasoursmighthave

dumbfoundedabetterman;buthisfacewasaslongasalawsuit,

whenLamela,ourspokesman,saidtohiminatoneofauthority:

MasterSamuel,Icommandyouinthenameoftheholyinquisition,

whosedelegateIhavethehonourtobe,togivemethekeyof

yourclosetwithoutmurmurordelay.IwanttoseeifIcannot

findwherewithaltocorroboratecertainhintswhichhavebeen

communicatedtousrespectingyou.

Thesonofcommerce,aghastatthesesoundsofmelancholyimport,

reeledtwostepsbackward,justasifsomeonehadgivenhima

blowinthebreadbasket.Farfromsmellingaratinthispleasant

trickofours,hefanciedingoodearnestthatsomesecretenemy

hadmadehimanobjectofsuspiciontotheholyhue-and-cry;and

itmightpossiblyhavehappenedthat,frombeingratherclumsyat

hisnewdutiesasaChristian,hemightbeconsciousofhaving

laidhimselfopentoseriousanimadversion.Howeverthatmight

be,Ineversawamanlookmorefoolish.Hedidashewasordered

withoutsayingnay;andopenedallhislock-upplaceswiththe

sheepishacquiescenceofaman,whostoodinaweofan

ecclesiasticalrapontheknuckles.Atleast,saidAmbroseashe

wentin,atleastyouarenotacontumaciousoppugnerofour

resistlessmandates.Butwithdrawintoanotherroom,andleaveme

tofulfilthedutiesofmystationwithoutprofaneobservers.

Samueldidnotsethisfaceagainstthiscommandanymorethan

againstthefirst:butkepthimselfquietinhisshop,whilewe

wentallthreeofusintohiscloset,where,withoutlossof

time,welaidanembargoonhiscash.Itwasnodifficultmatter

tofindit;foritlayinanopencoffer,andinmuchlarger

quantitythanwecouldcarryaway.Therewereagreatmanybags

heapedup;butallinsilver.Goldwouldhavebeenmoretoour

mind;but,asrobbersmustnotbechoosersanymorethanbeggars,

wewereobligedtoyieldtothenecessityofthecase.Notonly

didwelineourpocketswithducats;butthemostunsearchable

partsofourdressweremadethereceptaclesofourfilchings.

Yetwastherenooutwardshewoftheheavyburdenunderwhichwe

tottered;thankstothecunningcontrivanceofAmbroseandDon

Raphael,whoprovedthatthereisnothinglikebeingmasterof

one’strade.

Wemarchedoutofthecloset,afterhavingfeatheredournests

prettywarmly;andthen,forareasonwhichthereaderwillhave

nogreatdifficultyinguessing,theworshipfulinquisitor

producedhispadlock,andfixeditonthedoorwithhisown

hands:heaffixedmoreoverhisownseal,andthensaidtoSimon:

MasterSamuel,Iforbidyou,inthenameoftheholyinquisition,

totoucheitherthispadlockorthisseal,whichitisyour

boundendutytoholdsacred,sinceitistheauthenticsealof

ourholyoffice.Ishallreturnhitherthistimeto-morrow,then

andheretoopenmycommission,andprovisionallytotakeoffthe

interdict.Withthisinjunction,heorderedthestreetdoortohe

opened,andwemadeourescapeaftertheprocessionalmanner,out

ofourwitswithjoy.Assoonaswehadmarchedaboutfifty

yards,webegantomendourpaceintosuchaquickstep,

aggravatedbydegreesintoaleapandabound,thatwewere

almostlikevaultersandtumblers,inspiteoftheweightwe

carried.Weweresoonoutoftown;andmountingourhorsesonce

more,pushedforwardtowardsSegorba,withmanyapious

ejaculationtotheGodMercury,onthehappyissueofsoboldan

attempt.

CH.II—ThedeterminationofDonAlphonsoandGilBlasafter

thisadventure.

Wetravelledallnight,accordingtoourmodestandunobtrusive

custom;sothatwefoundourselvesatsunrisenearalittle

villagetwoleaguesfromSegorba.Aswewerealltiredtodeath,

itwasagreedunanimouslytostrikeoutofthehighway,andrest

undertheshadeofsomewillows,whichwesawatthefootofa

littlehill,abouttenortwelvehundredyardsfromthevillage,

whereitdidnotseemexpedientforustohalt.Thesewillows

furnisheduswithanagreeableretreat,bythesideofalittle

brookwhichbubbledasitwashedtheirroots.Theplacestruck

ourfancy,andweresolvedtopassthedaythere.Weunbridled

ourhorses,andturnedthemouttograss,stretchingourown

gentlelimbsonthesoftsod.Therewecourtedthedrowsygodof

innocentreposeforawhile,andthenrummagedtothebottomof

ourwalletandourwine-skin.Afteranecclesiasticalbreakfast,

wecountedupourtentithesofSamuelSimon’smoney;andit

mountedtoaroundthreethousandducats.Sothatwithsuchasum

andwhatwehadbefore,itmightbesaid,withoutboasting,that

weknewhowtomakebothendsmeet.

Asitwasnecessarytogotomarket,AmbroseandDonRaphael,

throwingofftheirdressesnowtheplaywasover,saidthatthey

wouldtakethatofficeconjointlyonthemselves:theadventureat

Xelvahadonlysharpenedtheirwit,andtheyhadamindtolook

aboutSegorba,justtomaketheexperimentwhetherany

opportunitymightofferofstrikinganotherstroke.Youhaveno

thingtodo,addedtheheirofLucinda’switandwisdom,butto

waitforusunderthesewillows:weshallnotbelongbeforewe

arewithyouagain.SignorDonRaphael,exclaimedIwithahorse-laugh,tellusrathertowaitforyouunderamoresubstantial

tree;thegallows.Ifyouonceleaveus,weareinamonth’smind

thatweshallnotseeyouagaintillthedayafterthefair.This

suspicionofourhonourgoesagainstthegrain,repliedSignor

Ambrose;butwedeservethatourcharactersshouldsufferinyour

esteem.Itisbutreasonthatyoushoulddistrustourpurity,

aftertheaffairatValladolid,andshouldfancythatweshall

makeitnomoreamatterofconsciencetoplayatthedeviltake

thehindmostwithyou,thanwiththepartythatweleftinthe

lurchinthattown,Yetyoudeceiveyourselvesegregiously.The

ganguponwhomweturnedthetableswerepeopleofverybad

character,andtheircompanybegantobedisreputabletous.Thus

farjusticemustbedonetothemembersofourprofession,that

thereisnobondinallcivilizedlifelessliabletobebroken

bypersonalandprivateinterest;butwhentherearenofeelings

incommon,ourgoodunderstandingwillbetheworseforwear,as

ithappensamongotherdescriptionsofmen.Wherefore,SignorGil

Blas,Ientreatyou,andSignorDonAlphonsoaswellasyou,to

besomewhatmoreliberalinyourconstructionofus,andtoset

yourheartsatrespectingDonRaphael’sandmywhimaboutgoing

toSegorba.

Itistheeasiestthingintheworld,observedLucinda’shopeful

brat,toquashallsubjectofuneasinessonthatscore:theyhave

onlytoremaintreasurersoftheexchequer,andtheywillhavea

sufficientpledgeintheirhandsforourreturn.Yousee,Signor

GilBlas,thatweareallfairandabove-board.Youshallboth

holdsecurityforourre-appearance,andyoumayrestassured

thatforAmbroseandmyself,weshallsetoffwithoutthe

slightestmisgivingofyourtakingtoyourheelswithsovaluable

adeposit.Aftersosubstantialaproofofourgoodfaith,will

younotplaceimplicitconfidenceinus?Yes,gentlemen,saidI,

andyoumaydoatoncewhateverseemsgoodinyourowneyes.They

tooktheirdepartureimmediately,carryingthebottleandthe

walletalongwiththem,andleftmeunderthewillowswithDon

Alphonso,whosaidtomeaftertheywereoutofsight:Nowisthe

time,SignorGilBlas,nowisthetimetoopenmyhearttoyou.I

amangrywithmyselfforhavingbeensoeasilyprevailedonto

herdthusfarwiththesetwoknaves.Youhavenoideahowmany

timesIhavequarrelledwithmyselfonthatscore.Yesterday

evening,whileIwaswatchingthehorses,athousandmortifying

reflectionsrusheduponmymind.Ithoughtitdidnotbecomea

youngmanofhonourableprinciplestoliveamongsuchscurvy

fellowsasDonRaphaelandLamela;thatifbyill-lucksomeday

orother,andmanyamoreunlikelythinghashappened,the

successofourswindlingtricksshouldthrowusintothehandsof

justice,Imightsustaintheshameofbeingtriedwiththemasa

reputedthief,andundergoingthedisgracefulsentenceofthe

law.Thesefrightfulthoughtspresentthemselvesincessantlyto

myimagination,andIwillowntoyouthatIhavedetermined,as

theonlymeansofescapefromthecontaminationoftheirbad

actions,topartfromthemforever.Icanscarcelysupposethat

youwilldisapproveofmydesign.No,Ipromiseyou,answeredI:

thoughyouhaveseenmeperformthepartofthealguazilin

SamuelSimon’scomedy,donotfancythatsuchpiecesasthoseare

gotuptomytaste.Itakeheaventowitnessthatwhileactingin

sowittyascene,Isaidtomyself:Faithandtroth,masterGil

Blas,ifjusticeshouldcomeandlayholdofyoubythewezandat

thismoment,youwouldwelldeservethepenitentialwagesofyour

iniquity.Ifeelthereforenomoredisposedthanyourself,Don

Alphonso,totarrylongerinsuchbadcompany;andifyouthink

wellofit,Iwillbearyoucompany.Whenthesegentlemencome

back,wewilldemandabalancingoftheaccounts,andto-morrow

morning,orevento-nightbeforeto-morrow,wewillmakeourbow

tothem.

ThelovelySeraphina’sloverapprovedmyproposal.Letusgetto

Valencia,saidhe,andwewillembarkforItaly,whereweshall

beabletoenterintotheserviceoftheVenetianrepublic.Will

itnotbefarbettertotakeuptheprofessionofarms,thanto

leadsuchadastardlyanddisreputablelifeaswearenowengaged

in?Weshallevenbeinaconditiontomakeaveryhandsome

figurewiththemoneythatwillbecomingtous.NotthatI

appropriatetomyselfwithoutremorseafundsounfairly

established;butbesidesthatnecessityobligesmetoit,ifever

Iacquireanypropertyinmycampaigns,Imakeavowtoindemnify

SamuelSimon.IgaveDonAlphonsotounderstandthatmy

sentimentscoincidedwithhisown,andweresolvedatonceto

separateourselvesfromourcompanionsonthefollowingmorning

beforedaybreak.Wewereabovethetemptationofprofitingby

theirabsence,thatis,ofmarchingoffinahurrywiththesum

totalofthefinances:theconfidencetheyhadreposedinleaving

usmastersofthewholerevenue,didnotpermitsuchathoughtso

muchastopassthroughourminds.

AmbroseandDonRaphaelreturnedfromSegorbajustattheclose

ofday.Thefirstthingtheytolduswas,thattheirjourneyhad

beenpropitious;fortheyhadlaidthecorner-stoneofa

rascalitywhich,toallappearance,wouldturnoutstillbetter

thanthatoftheeveningbefore.AndthereuponthesonofLucinda

wasgoingtoputusinpossessionofthedetails;butDon

Alphonsecuthimshortinhisexplanation,anddeclaredatonce

hisintentionofpartingcompany.Iannouncedmyownwishtodo

thesame.Tonopurposedidtheyemployalltheirrhetoric,to

provetoustheproprietyofouraccompanyingthemintheir

professionaltravels:wetookleaveofthemthenextmorning,

afterhavingmadeanequaldivisionofourcash,andpushedon

towardsValencia.

CHIII.—Anunfortunateoccurrence,whichterminatedtothe

highdelightofDonAlphonso.GilBlasmeetswithanadventure

whichplaceshimallatonceinaverysuperiorsituation.

WegallopedongailyasfarasBunol,where,asill-luckwould

haveit,wewereobligedtostop.DonAlphonsowastakenill.His

disorderwasahighfever,withsuchanaccessofalarming

symptoms,asputmeinfearforhislife.Bythegreatestmercy

intheworld,theplacewasnotbesetbyasinglephysician,and

Igotclearoffwithoutanyharmbutmyfright.Hewasquiteout

ofdangerattheendofthreedays,andwithmynursing,his

recoverywasrapidandwithoutrelapse.Heseemedtobevery

gratefulformyattentions;andaswereallyandtrulyfelta

likingforeachother,wesworeaneternalfriendship.

Atlengthwegotonourjourneyagain,intheconstant

determination,whenwearrivedatValencia,ofprofitingbythe

firstopportunitywhichmightoffertogooverintoItaly.But

heavendisposedofusdifferently.Wesawatthegateofafine

castlesomecountrypeopleofbothsexesmakingmerryanddancing

inaring.Wewentneartobespectatorsoftheirrevels;andDon

Alphonsowasneverlesspreparedthanforthesurprisewhichall

atoncecameoverhissenses.HefounditwasBaronSteinbach,

whowasaslittlebackwardinrecognizinghim,butranuptohim

withopenarms,andexclaimed,inaccentsofunbridledjoy—Ah,

DonAlphonso!isityou?Whatadelightfulmeeting!Whilesearch

wasmakingforyouineverydirection,chancepresentsyoutomy

view.

Myfellow-travellerdismountedimmediately,andrantoembrace

thebaron,whosejoyseemedtomeofanextravagantnature.Come,

mylong-lostson,saidthegoodoldman,youshallnowbe

informedofyourownbirth,andknowthehappydestinythat

awaitsyou.Asheutteredthesewords,heconductedhimintothe

castle.Iwentinalongwiththem;forwhiletheywereexchanging

salutations,Ihadalightedandtiedourhorsestoatree.The

lordofthecastlewasthefirstpersonwhomwemet.Hewasabout

theageoffifty,andaverywell-lookingman.Sir,saidBaron

SteinbachasheintroducedDonAlphonso,beholdyourson.At

thesewords,DonCaesardeLeyva,forbythattitlethelordof

thecastlewascalled,threwhisarmsroundDonAlphonso’sneck,

andweepingwithjoy,mutteredindistinctly,Mydearson,knowin

metheauthorofyourbeing.IfIhaveforsolongleftyouin

ignoranceofyourbirthandfamily,restassuredthattheself-denialwasmineinthemostpainfuldegree.Ihaveathousand

timesbeenreadytoburstwithanxiety,butitwasimpossibleto

actotherwise.Ihadmarriedyourmotherfromsheerattachment,

forheroriginwasveryinferiortomine.Ilivedunderthe

controlofanausterefather,whoseseverityrenderedit

necessarytokeepsecretamarriagecontractedwithouthis

sanction.BaronSteinbach,andhealone,wasinmyconfidence:he

broughtyouupatmyrequest,andundermydirections.Atlength

myfatherislaidwithhisancestors,andIcanownyouformy

sonandheir.Thisisnotall;Icangiveyouforabrideayoung

ladywhoserankisonalevelwithmyown.Sir,interruptedDon

Alphonso,makemenotpaytoodearforthehappinessyouhave

justbeenthrowinginmylap.MayInotbetoldthatIhavethe

honourofbeingyoursonwithoutbeinginformedatthesametime

thatyouaredeterminedtomakememiserable?Ah,sir!benot

morecruelthanyourownfather.Ifhedidnotconsenttothe

indulgenceofyourpassion,atleasthenevercompelledyouto

takeanotherwife.Myson,repliedDonCaesar,Ihavenowishto

exerciseatyrannyoveryourinclinations,whichIspurnedatin

myowncase.ButhavethegoodmannersjusttoseetheladyI

designforyou,thatisallIrequirefromyourfilialduty.

Thoughalovelycreatureandaveryadvantageousmatch,Ipromise

nevertoforceyouintomarriage.Sheisnowinthiscastle.

Followme;youwillbeobligedtoacknowledgethatyouhave

rarelyseenamoreattractiveobject.Sosaying,heledDon

AlphonsointoaroomwhereImademyselfoneofthepartywith

BaronSteinbach.

TherewastheCountdePolanwithhistwodaughters,Seraphina

andJulia,andDonFerdinanddeLeyva,hisson-in-law,whowas

DonCaesar’snephew.DonFerdinand,aswasmentionedbefore,had

elopedwithJulia,anditwasontheoccasionofthemarriage

betweenthesetwoloversthatthepeasantryoftheneighbourhood

werecollectedonthisdaytocongratulatethebrideandbride

groom.AssoonasDonAlphonsomadehisappearance,andhis

fatherhadintroducedhimtothecompany,theCountdePolanrose

fromhischairandrantoembracehim,saying—Welcome,my

deliverer!DonAlphonso,addedhe,addressinghisdiscourseto

him,observethepowerofvirtueovergenerousminds.Thoughyou

havekilledmyson,youhavesavedmylife.Ilayasidemy

resentmentforever,andgiveyouthatverySeraphinawhose

honouryouprotectedfrominvasion.Insodoing,mydebttoyou

ispaid.DonCaesar’ssonwasnotwantinginacknowledgmentsto

theCountdePolan,norcouldhebeotherwisethandeeply

affectedbyhisgoodness;anditmaybedoubtedwhetherthe

discoveryofhisbirthandparentagetouchedhisfelicitymore

nearlythantheintelligencethathewasthedestinedhusbandof

Seraphina.Thismarriagewasactuallysolemnizedsomedays

afterwards,totheentiresatisfactionofallpartiesconcerned.

AsIwasoneoftheCountdePolan’sdeliverers,thisnobleman,

whoknewmeagainimmediately,saidthathewouldtakeupon

himselfthecareofmakingmyfortune.Ithankedhimforhis

liberality,butwouldnotleaveDonAlphonso,whomademesteward

ofhishousehold,andhonouredmewithhisconfidence.Afewdays

afterhismarriage,stillharpinguponthetrickwhichhadbeen

playedtoSamuelSimon,hesentmetoreturntothatcozened

shopkeeperallthemoneywhichhadbeenfilchedfromhim.Iwent

thereforetomakerestitution.Thiswassettingupthetradeofa

steward,butbeginningatthewrongend:theyoughtallofthem

toendwithrestitution;butninehundredandninety-nineoutof

athousandthinkitdoubletrouble,andexcusethemselves.

BOOKTHESEVENTH.

CH.I.—ThetenderattachmentbetweenGilBlasandDameLorenza

Sephora.

AWAYwentItoXelvawiththreethousandducatsundermycharge,

asanequivalenttoSamuelSimonfortheamountofhisloss.I

willhavethehonestytoown,thatmyfingersitchedasIjogged

along,totransferthesefundstomyownaccount,andbeginmy

stewardshipincharacter,sinceeverythinginthislifedepends

uponsettingoutwell.Therewasnoriskinpreferringinstinct

toprinciple:becauseitwasonlytorideaboutthecountryfor

fiveorsixdays,andcomehomeuponabrisktrotasifIhad

donemybusinessandmadethebestofmyway.DonAlphonsoand

hisfatherwouldneverhavebelievedmecapableofabreachof

trust.Yet,strangetotell,Iwasproofagainstsotemptinga

suggestion:itwouldscarcelybetoomuchtosay,thathonour,

notthefearofbeingfoundout,wasthespringofso

praiseworthyadecision;andastimesgo,thatissayingagreat

dealforalad,whoseconsciencehadbeenprettywellseasonedby

keepingcompanywithasuccessionofscoundrels.Manypeoplewho

havenotthatexcuse,butfrequentworshipfulsociety,will

wonderhowsuchsqueamishnessshouldhaveprevailedovermygood

sense:treasurersofcharitiesinparticular;personswhohave

thewillsofrelationsintheircustody,anddonotexactlylike

thecontents;inshort,allthosewhosecharactersstandhigher

thantheirprinciples,willfindfoodforreflectioninmy

overstrainedscrupulosity.

Afterhavingmaderestitutiontothemerchant,wholittlethought

evertohaveseenonefarthingofhispropertyagain,Ireturned

tothecastleofLena.TheCountdePolanhadtakenhis

departure,andwasfaronhisjourneytoToledowithJuliaand

DonFerdinand.Ifoundmynewmastermorewrappedupthaneverin

Seraphina;hisSeraphinaequallywrappedupinmymaster,andDon

Caesarjustasmuchwrappedupaseitherinthecontemplationof

thehappycouple.Myobjectwastogainthegoodwillofthis

affectionatefather,andIsucceededtomywish.Thewholehouse

wasplacedimplicitlyundermysuperintendence—nothingwas

donewithoutmyspecialdirection;thetenantspaidtheirrents

intomyhands;thedisbursementsofthefamilywereallundermy

revision;andthesubordinatesituationsinthehouseholdwereat

mydisposalwithoutappeal;andyetthepoweroftyrannizingdid

notgivemetheinclination,asithasalwayshithertodonetomy

equalsandsuperiors.Ineitherturnedawaythemaleservants,

becauseIdidnotlikethecutoftheirbeards,northefemale

onesbecausetheyhappenednottolikethecutofmine.Ifthey

madeuptoDonCaesarorhissonatonce,withoutcurryingmy

favourasthechannelofallgoodgraces,farfromtakingumbrage

atthemonthataccount,Ispokeoutofficiouslyintheirbehalf.

Inotherrespects,too,themarksofconfidencemytwomasters

wereincessantlylavishingonmeinspiredmewithasubstantial

zealfortheirservice.Theirinterestwasmyrealobject:there

wasnoslightofhandinmyministry;Iwassuchacatererfor

thegeneralgood,asyourarelymeetwithinprivatefamiliesor

inpoliticalsocieties.

WhileIwashuggingmyselfonthewell-earnedprosperityofmy

condition,love,jealousofmydealingswithfortune,wasbenton

sharingmygratitudebytheadditionofahigherzest,he

planted,watered,andripenedintheheartofDameLorenza

Sephora,Seraphina’sconfidentialwoman,anabundantcropof

likingforthehappysteward.MyHelen,nottosinkthefidelity

ofthehistorianinthevanityoftheman,couldnotbemany

monthsshortofherfiftiethyear.Butforallthat,alookof

wholesomeness,afacenoneoftheugliest,andtwogood-looking

eyesofwhichsheknewtheefficientuse,mightmakeherstill

passforadecentbitofamusementinasummerevening.Icould

onlyjusthavebeenthankfulforalittlemorerelieftoher

complexion,sinceitwaspreciselythecolourofchalk;butthat

Iattributedtomaidenconcealments,whichhadeatawayallthe

damaskofhercheek.

Theladyogledmeforalongtime,withoglesthatsavouredmore

ofpassionthanofchastity;butinsteadofcommuninginthe

languageoftheeyes,Imadepretenceatfirstnottobesensible

ofmyownhappiness.Thusdidmygallantryappearasifarrayed

initsfirstblushes;acircumstancewhichwasrathertempting

thanrepulsivetoherfeelings.Takingitintoherhead,

therefore,thattherewasnostandingupondumbeloquencewitha

youngmanwholookedmorelikeanovicethanhewas,atourvery

firstinterviewshedeclaredhersentimentsinbroad,unequivocal

terms,thatImighthavenopleaformisinterpretation.She

playedherpartlikeanoldstager:affectedtobeoverwhelmed

withconfusionwhileshewasspeakingtome;andafterhaving

saidallshewantedtosayinagoodaudiblevoice,putherhand

beforeherface,tohidetheshamewhichwasnotthere,andmake

mebelievethatshewasincommodedbythedelicacyofherown

feelings.Therewasnostandingsuchanattack;andthoughvanity

hadalargershareinmysurrenderthanthetenderpassion,Idid

notreceiveheroverturesungraciously.Nay,more,Ipresumedto

overlookdecoruminmyvivacity,andactedtheimpatientloverso

naturallyastocalldownamodestrebukeuponmyfreedoms.

Lorenzachidmyfondness,butwithsomuchfondnessinher

chidings,thatwhilesheprescribedtomethecoldnessofan

anchorite,itwasveryevidentshewouldhavebeenmiserably

disappointedifIhadtakenherprescription.Ishouldhave

pressedtheaffairatoncetothenaturalterminationofallsuch

affairs,ifthelovelyobjectofmyardentwisheshadnotbeen

afraidofgivingmealeft-handedopinionofhervirtue,by

abandoningtheworksbeforethesiegewasregularlyformed.This

beingso,weparted,butwithapromisetomeetagain:Sephorain

thefullpersuasionthatherreluctantresistancewouldstampher

foravestalinmyesteem,andmyselffullofthesweethopethat

thetormentsofTantaluswouldsoonbesucceededbyanelysiumof

enjoyment.

Myaffairswereinthishappytrain,whenoneofDonCaesar’s

underservantsbroughtmesuchapieceofnews,asgaveanague

tomyraptures.Thisladwasoneofthoseinquisitiveinmateswho

applyeitheranearoraneyetoeverykeyholeinahouse.Ashe

paidhiscourtconstantlytome,andservedupsomefreshpiece

ofscandaleveryday,hecametotellmeonemorningthathehad

madeapleasantdiscovery;andthathehadnoobjectionto

lettingmeintothefun,onconditionthatIwouldnotblab:

becauseDameLorenzaSephorawasthethemeofthejoke,andhe

wasafraidofbecomingobnoxioustoherresentmentandrevenge.I

wastoomuchinterestedincomingatthestoryhehadtotell,

nottoswearmyselfintodiscretionthroughthickandthin;but

itwasnecessarythatmymotiveshouldseemcuriosityandnot

personalconcern,sothatIaskedhim,withanairofasmuch

indifferenceasIcouldputon,whatwasthismightydiscovery

aboutwhichhemadesuchapieceofwork.Lorenza,whisperedhe,

smugglesthesurgeonofthevillageeveryeveningintoher

apartment:heisatightvessel,wellarmedandmanned;andthe

pirategenerallystaysprettylonguponhiscruise.Idonotmean

tosay,addedhe,withsuperciliouscandourbutthatallthismay

beperfectlyinnocentonbothsides,butyoucannothelp

admitting,thatwhereayoungmandoesinsinuatehimselfslily

intoagirl’sbedchamberhetakesbettercareofhisownpleasure

thanofherreputation.

ThoughthistalegavemeasmuchuneasinessasifIhadbeen

verilyandromanticallyinlove,Ihadtoomuchsensetolethim

knowit;butsofarstifledmyfeelingsastolaughheartilyata

storywhichstruckattheverylifeofallmyhopes.Butwhenno

witnesseswereby,Imademyselffullamendsforhavinggulped

downmyrisingindignation.Iblusteredandstormed;muttered

blessingsonthemthewrongway,andsworeoutright:butallthis

withoutcomingnearertoadecisiononmyownconduct.Atone

time,holdingLorenzainuttercontempt,itwasmygoodpleasure

togiveherupaltogether,withoutcondescendingsofarasto

cometoanyexplanationwiththecoquette.Atanothertime,

layingitdownasaprinciple,thatmyhonourwasconcernedin

makingthesurgeonanexampletoallintriguers,Ispiritedupmy

couragetocallhimout.Thusdangerousvalourprevailedover

safeindifference.AttheapproachofeveningIplacedmyselfin

ambuscade;andsureenoughthegentlemandidslinkintothe

templeofmyVesta,withafearofbeingfoundoutthatspoke

ratherunfavourablyforthepurityofhisdesigns.Nothingshort

ofthiscouldhavekeptmyragealiveagainstthechillinessof

thenightair.Iimmediatelyquittedtheprecinctsofthecastle,

andpostedmyselfonthehighroad,wherethegaydeceiverwas

suretobeinterceptedonhisreturn.Iwaitedforhimwithmy

fightingspiritsonthefullboil:myimpatienceincreasedwith

thelapseoftime,tillMarsandBellonaseemedtoinhabitmy

frame,andenlargeitbeyondhumandimensions.Atlengthmy

antagonistcameinsight.Itookafewstrides,suchasbully

MarsorBellonamighthavetaken;butIdonotknowhowthedevil

itcametopass,mycouragewentfurtheroffasmybodycame

nearer;myframewascontractedwithinsomewhatlessthanits

humandimensions,andmyheartfeltexactlyliketheheartofa

coward.TheheartsofHomer’sheroesfeltexactlythesame,when

thedastardlydogswerenotbackedbyasupernaturaldrawcansir!

Inshort,IwasjustasmuchoutofmyelementaseverPariswas,

whenhepittedhimselfagainstMenelausinsinglecombat.Ibegan

takingmeasureofthisoperatorinlove,war,andanatomy.He

appearedtobelargelimbedandwellknit,withaswordbyhis

sideofamostabominablelength.Allthismademeconsider,that

thebetterpartofvalourisdiscretion:nevertheless,whether

fromthesuperiorityofmindoverthenervoussysteminacaseof

honour,orfromwhateverothercause,thoughthedangergrew

biggerasthedistancediminished,andinspiteofnature,which

pleadedobstinatelythathonourisamerescutcheon,andcan

neithersetalegnortakeawaythegriefofawound,Imustered

upboldnessenoughtomarchforwardtowardsthesurgeonswordin

hand.

Myproceedingseemedtohimtobeofthedrollest.Whatisthe

matter,SignorGilBlas?exclaimedhe.Whyallthisfireand

fury?Youareinabanteringmood,toallappearance.No,good

mastershaver,answeredI,nosuchthing;thereneverwas

anythingmoreserioussinceCainkilledAbel.Iamdeterminedto

trytheexperiment,whetheraslittlepreparationservesyour

turninthefieldofbattleasinalady’schamber.Hopenotthat

youwillbesufferedtopossesswithoutarivalthatheavenof

blissinwhichyouhavebeenindulgingbutthismomentatthe

castle.Byallthemartyrdomswephlebotomizershaveever

sufferedorinflicted!repliedthesurgeon,settingupashoutof

laughter,thisisamostwhimsicaladventure.Asheavenismy

judge!appearancesareverylittletobetrusted.Atthisput

off,fancyingthathehadnokeenerstomachforcoldironthan

myself,IgottobeItentimesmoreoverbearing.Teachyour

parrottospeakbetterSpanish,myfriend,interruptedI;doyou

thinkwedonotknowahawkfromahernshaw?Imaginenotthatthe

simpledenialofthefactwillsettlethebusiness.Isee

plainly,repliedhe,thatIshallbeobligedtospeakout,or

somemischiefmusthappeneithertoyouorme.Ishalltherefore

discloseasecrettoyou;thoughmeninourprofessioncannotbe

toomuchonthereserve.IfDameLorenzasendsformeintoher

apartmentundersuspiciouscircumstances,itisonlytoconceal

fromtheservantstheknowledgeofhermalady.Shehasan

incurableulcerinherback,whichIcomeeveryeveningtodress.

Thisistherealoccasionofthosevisitswhichdisturbyour

peace.Henceforward,restassuredthatyouhaveherallto

yourself.Butifyouarenotsatisfiedwiththisexpectation,and

areabsolutelybentonafencingmatch,youhaveonlytosayso;

Iamnotamantoturnmybackuponagameatswordplay.With

thesewordsinhismouthhedrewhislongrapier,whichmademy

heartjumpintomythroat,andstooduponhisguard.Itis

enough,saidI,puttingmyswordupagaininitsscabbard,Iam

notawildbeast,toturnadeafeartoreason:afterwhatyou

havetoldme,thereisnocauseofenmitybetweenus.Letus

shakehands.Atthisproposal,bywhichhefoundoutthatIwas

notsuchadevilofafellowashehadtakenmefor,hereturned

hisweaponwithalaugh,metmyadvancestobereconciled,andwe

partedthebestfriendsintheworld.

FromthattimeforwardSephoranevercameintomythoughtsbut

withthemostdisgustingassociations.Ishunnedallthe

opportunitiesshegavemeofentertainingherinprivate,and

thiswithsoobviousastudy,almostborderingonrudeness,that

shecouldnotbutnoticeit.Astonishedatsosuddenareverse,

shewasdyingtoknowthecause,andatlength,findingthemeans

ofpinningmedowntoat�te-�-t�te,GoodMrSteward,saidshe,

tellme,ifsopleaseyou,whyyouavoidtheverysightofme!It

istruethatImadethefirstadvances;butthenyoufedthe

consumingfire.Recalltomemory,ifitisnottoogreata

favour,theprivateinterviewwehadtogether.Thenyouwerea

magazineofcombustibles,nowyouareasfrozenasthenorthsea.

Whatisthemeaningofallthis?Thequestionwasnotalittle

difficultofsolution,foramanunaccustomedtotheviolenceof

amorousinterrogatories.Theconsequencewas,thatitpuzzledme

mostconfoundedly.Idonotpreciselyrecollecttheidenticallie

Itoldthelady,butIrecollectperfectlythatnothingbutthe

truthcouldhaveaffrontedhermorehighly.Sephora,thoughby

hermincingairandmodestoutsideonemighthavetakenherfora

lamb,wasatigresswhenthesavagewasrousedinhernature.I

didthink,saidshe,dartingaglanceatmefullofmaliceand

hideousness,Ididthinktohaveconferredsuchhonouraswas

neverconferredbefore,onalittlescoundrellikeyou,by

betrayingsentimentswhichthefirstnobilityinthecountry

wouldmakeittheirboasttoexcite.FitlyindeedamIpunished

forhavingpreposterouslyloweredmyselftothelevelofadirty,

snivellingadventurer.

Thatwasprettywell;butshedidnotstopthere:Ishouldhave

comeofftoocheaplyonsuchterms.Herfurytakingalonglease

ofhertongue,thatbrawlinginstrumentofdiscordrungabob-majorofinvective,eachstrainmoreclamorousandconfounding

thantheformer.Itcertainlywasmydutytohavereceiveditall

withcoolindifference,andtohaveconsideredcandidlythatin

triumphingoverfemalereserve,andthennottakingpossessionof

theconquest,Ihadcommittedthatsinagainstthesex,which

wouldhavetransformedthemostfeminineofthemintoaSephora.

ButIwastooirritabletobearabuse,atwhichamanofsensein

myplacewouldonlyhavelaughed;andmypatiencewasatlength

exhausted.Madam,saidI,letusnotrakeintoeachother’s

personalmisfortunes,Ifthefirstnobilityinthecountryhad

onlylookedatyourback,theywouldhaveforgottenallyour

othercharms,andhaveboastedbutlittleofthesentimentsthey

hadexcitedyoutobetray.Ihadnosoonerlaidinthishome

stroke,thentheenragedduennavisitedmewiththehardestbox

ontheearthateveryetproceededfromthedelicatefingersofa

womanscorned.Suchfavoursmightpallonrepetition;soIdid

notwaitforasecond,buttookshelterinthenimblenessofmy

legsfromtheclatterofcastigationshewasgoingtoshowerdown

onme.

Ireturnedthankstotheprotectingpowersforhavingbroughtme

clearofffromthisunequalencounter,andfanciedthatIhad

nothingfurthertoapprehend,sincetheladyhadtakencorporal

vengeance.Itwaslikely,too,thatshewouldbewiseandhold

hertongue,forthehonourofherownback:and,inpointof

fact,afullfortnighthadelapsedwithoutmyhearingawordupon

thesubjectTheverytinglinginmyowncheekbegantoabate,

whenIwastoldthatSephorawastakenill.Withthatforgiveness

ofinjuriessonaturaltome,Iwassincerelyafflictedatthe

news.Ireallyfeltforthepoorlady.Iconcludedthat,unable

tocontendwithapassionsoillrepaid,thathaplessvictimof

herowntendernesswasgivinguptheghost.Itwaswithexquisite

painthatIturnedthissubjectinmythoughts.Iwasthecruel

causethatherheartwasbreaking;andmypityatleastwasthe

duenna’s,thoughloveistoowaywardtobecontrolledbyadvice.

ButIwasmiserablymistakeninhernature.Hertendernesshad

allcurdledintoacrimonioushatred;andatthatverymomentwas

sheplottingtobemybane.

OnemorningwhileIwaswithDonAlphonso,thatamiableyoung

masterofminewasabsent,moody,andoutofspirits.Iinquired

respectfullywhatwasthematter.Iamvexedtothesoul,said

he,tofindSeraphinaweak,unjust,ungrateful.Youarenota

littlesurprisedatthis,addedhe,remarkingtheexpressionof

astonishmentwithwhichIheardhim;yetnothingismorestrictly

andlamentablytrue.IknownotwhatreasonyouhavegivenDame

Lorenzatobeatvariancewithyou;buttrueitis,youare

becomesounbearablyhatefultoher,thatifyoudonotgetout

ofthiscastleassoonaspossible,herdeath,shesays,mustbe

thesureconsequence.YoucannotbutsupposethatSeraphina,who

knowsyourvalue,usedallherinfluenceatfirstagainsta

prejudicetowhichshecouldnotadministerwithoutinjusticeand

ingratitude.Butthoughthebestofwomen,sheisstillawoman.

Sephorabroughtherup,andshelovesherlikeamother.Should

heroldnursedieshortly,shewouldfancyshehadherdeathto

answerfor,hadsherefusedherselftoanyofherwhims.Formy

ownpart,withallmyaffectiontowardsSeraphina,anditisnone

oftheweakest,Iwillneverbeguiltyofsomeanacomplianceas

tosidewithheronthisquestion.Perishourduennas,perishthe

wholesystemofourSpanishvigilance!butneverletmeconsent

tothebanishmentofayoungmanwhomIlookuponratherasa

brotherthanaservant!

WhenDonAlphonsohadthusexpressedhissentiments,Isaidto

him:Mygoodsir,Iamborntobethemerewhipping-topof

fortune.Ithadbeenmyhopethatshewouldleaveoffpersecuting

mewhenunderyourroof,whereeverythingheldouttomehappy

daysandanunruffledlife.Now,thepartforhonourtotakeis

totearmyselfaway,whateverhankeringImayfeelaftermy

continuance.No,no,exclaimedthegeneroussonofDonCaesar.

LeavemetobringSeraphinatoaproperviewofthings.Itshall

neverbesaidthatyouaresacrificedtothecapricesofa

duenna,who,oneveryoccasion,hasbuttoomuchinfluenceover

thefamily.Allyouwillgetbyit,sir,repliedI,willonlybe

toputSeraphinainanillhumourbyopposingherwishes.Ihad

muchratherwithdrawthanruntherisk,byalongerabodehere,

ofsowingdivisionbetweenamarriedpair,whoareamodelof

conjugalfelicity.Suchaconsequenceofmyunhappyquarrelwould

makememiserablefortheremainderofmydays.

DonAlphonsoabsolutelyforbademetotakeanyhastystep;andI

foundhimsodeterminedintheintentionofstandingbyme,that

Lorenzamustinfalliblyhavebeenthrownintothebackground,if

Ihadchosentohavestoodanelectionagainsther.Therewere

momentswhen,exasperatedagainsttheduenna,Iwastemptedto

keepnomeasureswithher;butwhenIcametoconsiderthatto

unravelthissurgicalmysterywouldbetoplungeadaggerinto

theheartofapoorcreature,whosecursehadbeenmyfastidious

prejudiceagainstanulceratedback,andwhomaphysicaland

mentalmisfortunewereconjointlyhandingdowntothegrave;I

lostallfeelingbutthatofcompassiontowardsher.Itwas

evident,sinceIwassoportentousaphenomenon,thatitwasmy

imperiousdutytore-establishthetranquillityofthecastleby

myabsence;andthatdutyIperformedthenextmorningbefore

daybreak,withouttakinganyleaveofmytwomasters,forfear

theyshouldopposemydeparturefromamisplacedpartiality

towardsme.Myonlynoticewastoleavebehindinmychambera

memorial,containinganexactaccountofmyreceiptsand

disbursementsduringthetimeofmystewardship.

CH.II.—WhathappenedtoGilBlasafterhisretreatfromthe

castleofLeyva;shewingthatthosewhoarecrossedinloveare

notalwaysthemostmiserableofmankind.

IWASmountedonagoodhorse,myownproperty,andwasthe

beareroftwohundredpistoles,thegreaterpartofwhicharose

fromtheplunderofthevanquishedbanditti,andtheforfeiture

ofSamuelSimonbytheInquisition;forDonAlphonso,without

requiringmetoaccountforanypartofthesaidforfeiture,had

maderestitutionoftheentiresumoutofhisownfunds.Thus,

consideringmyeffects,howeverobtained,asconvertedinto

lawfulpropertybyasortofvicarioussponsorship,Itookthem

intomygoodgraceswithoutanyremorseofconscience.Anestate

likethisrendereditabsurdtothrowawayanythoughtaboutthe

future;andacertainlikelihoodofdoingwell,whichalways

hangsaboutayoungmanatmyage,heldoutanadditional

securityagainstthecapricesoffortune.Besides,Toledooffered

mearetreatexactlytomymind.Therecouldnotbeadoubtbut

theCountdePolanwouldtakeapleasureingivingakind

receptiontooneofhisdeliverers,andwouldinsistonhis

acceptinganapartmentinhisownhouse.ButIonlylookedupon

thisnoblemanasaverydistantresource;anddetermined,before

layinganytaxonhisgratefulrecollection,tospendpartofmy

readycashintravellingovertheprovincesofMurciaand

Grenada,whichIhadaveryparticularinclinationtosee.With

thisintentionItooktheAlmanzaroad,andafterwards,following

theroutechalkedout,travelledfromtowntotownasfarasthe

cityofGrenada,withoutstumblingonanysinisteroccurrence.It

shouldseemasiffortune,weariedoutwiththeschool-girl’s

tricksshehadbeenplayingme,wascontentedatlasttoleaveme

asshefoundme.Butshestillhadherskittishdesignsuponme,

aswillbeseeninthesequel.

OneofthefirstpersonsImetinthestreetsofGrenadawas

SignorDonFerdinanddeLeyva,son-in-law,aswellasDon

Alphonso,oftheCountdePolan.Wewerebothofusequally

surprisedatmeetingsofarfromhome.Howisthis,GilBlas?

exclaimedhe;tofindyouinthiscity!Whatthedevilbringsyou

hither?Sir,saidI,ifyouareastonishedatseeingmeinthis

country,youwillbetentimesmoresowhenyoushallknowwhyI

havequittedtheserviceofSignorDonCaesarandhisson.ThenI

recountedtohimallthathadpassedbetweenSephoraandmyself,

withoutgarblingthefactsinanyparticular.Helaughedheartily

attherecital;then,recoveringhisgravity,Myfriend,saidhe,

mymediationisatyourserviceinthisaffair.Iwillwriteto

mysister-in-law….No,no,sir,interruptedI,donotwrite

uponthesubject,Ibeseechyou.Ididnotquitthecastleof

Leyvatogobackagain.Youmay,ifyouplease,makeanotheruse

ofthekindnessyouhaveexpressedforme.Ifanyofyourfriends

shouldbelookingoutforasecretaryorasteward,Ishouldbe

muchobligedtoyoutospeakagoodwordinmyfavour.Iwill

takeuponmetoassureyouthatyouwillneverbereproachedwith

recommendinganimproperobject.Youhaveonlytocommandme,

answeredhe:Iwilldowhateveryoudesire.Mybusinessat

Grenadaistovisitanoldauntinanillstateofhealth.I

shallbeherethreeweekslonger,afterwhichIshallsetouton

myreturntomycastleofLorqui,whereIhaveleftJulia.That

ismylodging,addedhe,shewingmeahouseaboutahundredyards

fromus.Calluponmeinafewdays;probablyImaybythattime

havehituponsomeeligibleappointment.

And,infact,soitwas;fortheveryfirsttimethatwecame

togetheragain,hesaidtome:MyLordArchbishopofGrenada,my

relationandfriend,isinwantofayoungmanwithsomelittle

tingeofliterature,whocanwriteagoodhandandmakefair

copiesofhismanuscripts;forheisagreatauthor.Hehas

composedIknownothowmanyhomilies,andstillgoeson

composingmoreeveryday,whichhedeliverstothehigh

edificationofhisaudience.Asyouseemtobejustthethingfor

him,Ihavementionedyourname,andhehaspromisedtotakeyou.

Go,andmakeyourbowtohimasfromme;youwilljudge,byhis

receptionofyou,whethermyrecommendationhasbeencouchedin

handsometerms.

Thesituationwas,toallappearance,exactlywhatIshouldhave

pickedoutformyself.Thatbeingthecase,withsuchan

arrangementofmyairandpersonasseemedmostlikelytosquare

withtheideasofareverendprelate,Ipresentedmyselfone

morningbeforethearchbishop.Ifthiswereagorgeousromance,

andnotagravehistory,heremightweintroduceapompous

descriptionoftheepiscopalpalace,witharchitectural

digressionsonthestructureofthebuilding:herewouldbethe

placetoexpatiateonthecostlinessofthefurniturelikean

upholsterer,tocriticisethestatuesandpictureslikea

connoisseur;andthepicturesthemselveswouldbenothingtothe

uninformedreader,withoutthestoriestheyrepresent,till

universalhistory,fabulousandauthentic,sacredandprofane,

shouldbepressedintotheservice.ButIshallcontentmyself

withmodestlystating,thattheroyalpalaceitselfisscarcely

superiorinmagnificence.

Throughoutthesuiteofapartments,therewasacompletemobof

ecclesiasticsandotherofficers,consistingofchaplains,

ushers,upperandmenialservants.Thoseofthemwhowerelaymen

weremostsuperblyattired;onewouldsoonerhavetakenthemfor

temporalnobilitythanforspiritualunderstrappers.Theywereas

proudasthedevil;andgavethemselvesintolerablyconsequential

airs.Icouldnothelplaughinginmysleeve,whenIconsidered

whoandwhattheywere,andhowtheybehaved.Setabeggaron

horseback!saidI.Thesegentryareinlucktocarryapack

withoutfeelingthedragofit;forsurelyiftheyknewtheywere

beastsofburden,theywouldnotjingletheirbellswithsohigh

atossofthehead.Iventuredjusttospeaktoagraveand

portlypersonagewhostoodsentinelatthedoorofthe

archbishop’scloset,toturnituponitshingesasoccasionmight

require.Iaskedhimcivillyiftherewasnopossibilityof

speakingwithmylordarchbishop.Stopalittle,saidhe,witha

superciliousdemeanourandrepulsivetone:hisgracewillshortly

comeforth,togoandhearmass:youmaysnatchanaudiencefora

momentashepasseson.Ianswerednotasinglesyllable.

PatiencewasallIhadforit;anditevenseemedadvisableto

tryandenterintoconversationwithsomeofthejacksinoffice:

buttheybeganconningmeoverfromthesoleofmyfoottothe

crownofmyhead,withoutcondescendingtofavourmewitha

singleinterjection;afterwhichtheywinkedatoneanother,

whispered,andlookedoutatthecornersoftheireyes,in

derisionofthelibertyIhadassumed,byintrudingupontheir

selectsociety.

IfeltmorefoolthatIdidso,quiteoutofcountenanceatsuch

cavaliertreatmentfromaknotofstatefootmen.Myconfusionwas

butbeginningtosubside,whentheclosetdooropened.The

archbishopmadehisappearance.Aprofoundsilenceimmediately

ensuedamonghisofficers,whoquittedatoncetheirinsolent

behaviour,toadoptamorerespectfulstylebeforetheirmaster.

Thatprelatewasinhissixty-ninthyear,formednearlyonthe

modelofmyuncle,GilPerezthecanon,whichisasmuchasto

say,asbroadashewaslong.Butthehighestdignitariesshould

alwaysbethemostamplygifted;accordinglyhislegsbowed

inwardstotheveryextremityofthegracefulcurve,andhisbald

headretainedbutasinglelockbehind:sothathewasobligedto

ensconcehispericraniuminafinewoollencapwithlongears.In

spiteofallthis,Iespiedthemanofqualityinhisdeportment,

doubtless,becauseIknewthatheactuallyhappenedtobeone.We

commonfellows,thefungousgrowthofthehumandunghill,lookup

togreatlordswithafacilityofbeingoverawed,whichoften

furnishesthemwithaBenjamin’smessofimportance,whennature

hasdeniedeventhemostscantyandtrivialgifts.

Thearchbishopmovedtowardsmeinaminuetstep,andkindly

inquiredwhatIwanted.ItoldhimIwastheyoungmanaboutwhom

SignorDonFerdinanddeLeyvahadspokentohim.Hedidnotgive

meamomenttogoonwithmystory.Ah!isityou,exclaimedhe,

isityouofwhomsofineacharacterhasbeengivenme?Itake

youintomyserviceatonce;youareamineofliteraryutility

tome.Youhaveonlytotakeupyourabodehere.Talkingthus

condescendingly,hesupportedhimselfbetweentwoushers,and

movedonwardsafterhavinggivenaudiencetosomeofhisclergy,

whohadecclesiasticalbusinesstocommunicate.Hewasscarcely

outoftheroom,whenthesameofficerswhohadturnedupontheir

heel,werenowcapinhandtocourtmyconversation.Herethe

rascalsare,pressingroundme,curryingfavour,andexpressing

theirsincerejoyatseeingmebecomeasitwereanheirloomof

thearchbishopric.Theyhadheardwhattheirmasterhadsaid,and

weredyingwithanxietytoknowonwhatfootingIwastobeabout

him;butIhadtheillnaturenottosatisfytheircuriosity,in

revengefortheircontempt.

Mylordarchbishopwasnotlongbeforehereturned.Hetookme

withhimintohisclosetforalittleprivateconference.Icould

notbutsupposethathemeanttofathomthedepthofmy

understanding.Iwasaccordinglyonmyguard,andpreparedto

measureoutmywordsmostmethodically.Hequestionedmefirstin

theclassics.Myanswerswerenotamiss;hewasconvincedthatI

hadmorethanaschoolboy’sacquaintancewiththeGreekandLatin

writers.Heexaminedmenextinlogic;norcouldIbutsuppose

thathewouldexaminemeinlogic.Hefoundmestrongenough

there.Youreducation,saidhe,withsomedegreeofsurprise,has

notbeenneglected.Nowletusseeyourhandwriting.Itooka

blankpieceofpaperoutofmypocket,whichIhadbroughtfor

thepurpose.Myghostlyfatherwasnotdispleasedwithmy

performance.Iamverywellsatisfiedwiththemechanicalpartof

yourqualifications,exclaimedhe,andstillmoresowiththe

powersofyourmind.Ishallthankmynephew,DonFerdinand,most

heartily,forhavingsentmesofinealad;itisabsolutelya

giftfromabove.

Wewereinterruptedbysomeoftheneighbouringgentry,whowere

cometodinewiththearchbishop.Ileftthemtogether,and

withdrewtothesecondtable,wherethewholehousehold,withone

consent,insistedongivingmetheupperhand.Dinnerisabusy

timeatanepiscopalordinary;andyetwesnatchedamomentto

makeourobservationsoneachother.Whatamortifiedpropriety

waspaintedontheoutsideoftheclergy?Theyhadallthelook

ofadeputationfromabetterworld:strangetothinkhowplace

andcircumstanceimposeonthedeludedsenseofmen!Itnever

oncecameintomythoughtsthatallthissanctitymightpossibly

beafalsecoin;justasiftherecouldbenothingbutwhat

appertainedtothekingdomabove,amongthesuccessorsofthe

apostlesonearth.

Iwasseatedbythesideofanoldvalet-de-chambre,byname

MelchiordelaRonda.Hetookcaretohelpmetoallthenice

bits.Hisattentionswerenotlostuponme,andmygoodmanners

quiteenrapturedhim.Myworthysir,saidhe,inalowvoice

afterdinner,Ishouldliketohavealittleprivatetalkwith

you.Atthesametimeheledthewaytoapartofthepalace

wherewecouldnotbeoverheard,andthereaddressedmeas

follows:Myson,fromtheveryfirstinstantthatIsawyou,I

feltacertainprepossessioninyourfavour.OfthisIwillgive

youacertainproof,bycommunicatinginconfidencewhatwillbe

ofgreatservicetoyou.Youarehereinafamilywheretrue

believersandpaintedhypocritesareplayingatcrosspurposes

againsteachother,Itwouldtakeanantediluvianagetofeelthe

groundunderyourfeet.Iwillsparesolongandsodisgustinga

study,bylettingyouintothecharactersonbothsides.After

this,ifyoudonotplayyourcards,itisyourownfault.

Ishallbeginwithhisgrace.Heisaverypiousprelate,

employedwithoutceasingintheinstructionofthepeople,whom

hebringsbacktovirtue,likesheepgoneastray,bysermonsfull

ofexcellentmorality,andwrittenbyhimself.Hehasretired

fromcourtthesetwentyyears,towatchoverhisflockwiththe

zealofanaffectionatepastor.Heisaverylearnedperson,and

averyimpressivedeclaimer:hiswholedelightisinpreaching,

andhiscongregationtakecareheshouldknowthattheirwhole

delightisinhearinghim.Theremaypossiblybesomelittle

leavenofvanityinallthisheavenly-mindedness;but,besides

thatitisnotforhumanfallibilitytosearchtheheart,it

wouldillbecomemetorakeintothefaultsofapersonwhose

breadIeat.Wereitdecenttolaymyfingeronanything

unbecominginmymaster,Ishoulddiscommendhisstarchness.

Insteadofexercisingforbearancetowardsfrailchurchmen,he

visitseverypeccadillo,asifitwereaheinousoffence.Above

all,heprosecutesthosewiththeutmostrigourofthespiritual

court,who,wrappingthemselvesupintheirinnocence,appealto

thecanonsfortheirjustification,inbarofhisdespotic

authority.Thereisbesidesanotherawkwardtraitinhis

character,commontohimwithmanyotherpeopleofhighrank.

Thoughheisveryfondofthepeopleabouthim,hepaysnotthe

leastattentiontotheirservices,butletsthemsinkintoyears

withoutamoment’sthoughtaboutsecuringthemanyprovision.If

atanytimehemakesthemanylittlepresents,theymaythankthe

goodnessofsomeonewhoshallhavespokenupintheirbehalf:he

wouldneverhavehiswitsenoughabouthimtodotheslightest

thingforthemasavolunteer.

Thisisjustwhattheoldvalet-de-chambretoldmeofhismaster.

Next,heletmeintowhathethoughtoftheclergymenwithwhom

wehaddined.Hisportraitsmightbelikenesses;buttheywere

toohard-featuredtobeownedbytheoriginals.Itmustbe

admitted,however,thathedidnotrepresentthemashonestmen,

butonlyasveryscandalouspriests.Nevertheless,hemadesome

exceptions,andwasasloudintheirpraisesasinhiscensureof

theothers.Iwasnolongeratanylosshowtoplaymypartsoas

toputmyselfonanequalfootingwiththesegentry.Thatvery

evening,atsupper,Itookaleafoutoftheirbook,andarrayed

myselfintheconvenientvestureofawiseandprudentoutside.A

clothingofhumilityandsanctificationcostsnothing.Indeedit

offerssuchapremiumtothewearer,thatwearenottowonderif

thisworldaboundsinadescriptionofpeoplecalledhypocrites.

CH.III.—GilBlasbecomestheArchbishop’sfavourite,andthe

channelofallhisfavours.

IHADbeenafterdinnertogettogethermybaggage,andtakemy

horsefromtheinnwhereIhadputup,andafterwardsreturnedto

supperatthearchbishop’spalace,whereaneatlyfurnishedroom

wasgotreadyforme,andsuchabedaswasmorelikelytopamper

thantomortifytheflesh.Thedayfollowing,hisgracesentfor

mequiteassoonasIwasreadytogotohim.Itwastogivemea

homilytotranscribe.Hemadeapointofhavingitcopiedwith

allpossibleaccuracy.Itwasdonetopleasehim;forIomitted

neitheraccent,norcomma,northeminutesttittleofallhehad

markeddown.Hissatisfactionatobservingthiswasheightenedby

itsbeingunexpected.EternalFather!exclaimedheinaholy

rapture,whenhehadglancedhiseyeoverallthefoliosofmy

copy,waseveranythingseensocorrect?Youaretoogooda

transcribernottohavesomelittlesmatteringofthegrammarian.

Nowtellmewiththefreedomofafriend:inwritingitover,

haveyoubeenstruckwithnothingthatgrateduponyourfeelings?

Somelittlecarelessidiom,orsomewordusedinanimproper

sense?Oh!mayitpleaseyourgrace,answeredIwithamodest

air,itisnotforme,withmyconfinededucationandcoarse

taste,toaimatmakingcriticalremarks.Andthougheversowell

qualified,Iamsatisfiedthatyourgrace’sworkswouldcomeout

purefromtheessay.Thesuccessoroftheapostlessmiledatmy

answer.Hemadenoobservationonit;butitwaseasytosee,

throughallhispiety,thathewasanarrantauthoratthe

bottom:thereissomethinginthatdye,thatnotheavenitself

canwashout.

Iseemedtohavepurchasedthefee-simpleofhisgoodgracesby

myflattery.DayafterdaydidIgetastepfurtherinhis

esteem;andDonFerdinand,whocametoseehimveryoften,told

memyfootingwassofirm,thattherecouldnotbeadoubtbutmy

fortunewasmade.Ofthismymasterhimselfgavemeaproofsome

littletimeafterwards:andtheoccasionwasasfollows:—One

eveninginhisclosetberehearsedbeforeme,withappropriate

emphasisandaction,ahomilywhichhewastodeliverthenext

dayinthecathedral.Hedidnotcontenthimselfwithaskingme

whatIthoughtofitinthegross,butinsistedonmytellinghim

whatpassagesstruckmemost.Ihadthegoodfortunetopickout

thosewhichwerenearesttohisowntaste,hisfavouritecommonplaces.Thus,asluckwouldhaveit,Ipassedinhisestimation

foramanwhohadaquickandnaturalrelishoftherealandless

obviousbeautiesinawork.This,indeed,exclaimedhe,iswhat

youmaycallhavingdiscernmentandfeelinginperfection!Well,

well,myfriend!itcannotbesaidofyou,

Baeotumincrassojuraresa�renatum.

Inaword,hewassohighlypleasedwithme,astoaddinatone

ofextraordinaryemotion—Nevermind,GilBlas!henceforward

takenocareabouthereafter;Ishallmakeitmybusinessto

placeyouamongthefavouredchildrenofmybounty.Youhavemy

bestwishes;andtoprovetoyouthatyouhavethem,Ishalltake

youintomyinmostconfidence.

Thesewordswerenosooneroutofhismouth,thanIfellathis

grace’sfeet,quiteoverwhelmedwithgratitude.Iembracedhis

ellipticallegswithalmostpaganidolatry,andconsideredmyself

asamanonthehighroadtoaveryhandsomefortune.Yes,my

child,resumedthearchbishop,whosespeechhadbeencutshortby

therapidityofmyprostration,Imeantomakeyouthereceiver-generalofallmyinmostruminations.Hearkenattentivelytowhat

Iamgoingtosay.Ihaveagreatpleasureinpreaching.TheLord

shedsablessingonmyhomilies;theysinkdeepintothehearts

ofsinners;setupaglassinwhichviceseesitsownimage,and

bringbackmanyfromthepathsoferrorintothehighroadof

repentance.Whataheavenlysight,whenamiser,scaredatthe

hideouspicturedrawnbymyeloquenceofhisavarice,openshis

cofferstothepoorandneedy,anddispensestheaccumulated

storewithaliberalhand!Thevoluptuary,too,issnatchedfrom

thepleasuresofthetable;ambitionfliesatmycommandtothe

wholesomedisciplineofthemonasticcell;whilefemalefrailty,

totteringonthebrinkofruin,withoneearopentothesiren

voiceoftheseducer,andtheothertomysaintlycorrectives,is

restoredtodomestichappinessandtheapprovingsmileofheaven,

bythetimelywarningsofthepulpit.Thesemiraculous

conversions,whichhappenalmosteverySunday,oughtof

themselvestogoadmeoninthecareerofsavingsouls.

Nevertheless,toconcealnopartofmyweaknessfrommymonitor,

thereisanotherrewardonwhichmyheartisintent,areward

whichtheseraphicscrupulousnessofmyvirtuetolittlepurpose

condemnsastoocarnal;aliteraryreputationforasublimeand

elegantstyle.Thehonourofbeinghandeddowntoposterityasa

perfectpulpitoratorhasitsirresistibleattractions.My

compositionsaregenerallythoughttobeequallypowerfuland

persuasive;butIcouldwishofallthingstosteerclearofthe

rockonwhichgoodauthorssplit,whoaretoolongbeforethe

public,andtoretirefromprofessionallifewithmyreputation

inundiminishedlustre.

Tothisend,mydearGilBlas,continuedtheprelate,thereis

onethingrequisitefromyourzealandfriendship.Wheneverit

shallstrikeyouthatmypenbeginstocontract,asitwere,the

ossificationofoldage,wheneveryouseemygeniusinits

climacteric,donotfailtogivemeahint.Thereisnotrusting

toone’sselfinsuchacase;prideandconceitweretheoriginal

sinofman.Theprobeofcriticismmustheintrustedtoan

impartialstander-by,offinetalentsandunshakenprobity.Both

thoserequisitescentreinyou:youaremychoice,andIgive

myselfuptoyourdirection.Heavenbepraised,mylord,saidI,

thereisnoneedtotroubleyourselfwithanysuchthoughtsyet.

Besides,anunderstandingofyourgrace’smouldandcalibrewill

lastoutdoublethetimeofacommongenius;ortospeakwith

morecertaintyandtruth,itwillneverbetheworseforwear,if

youlivetotheageofMethusalem.Iconsideryouasasecond

CardinalXimenes,whosepowers,superiortodecay,insteadof

flaggingwithyears,seemedtoderivenewvigourfromtheir

approximationwiththeheavenlyregions.Noflattery,myfriend!

interruptedhe.Iknowmyselftobeindangeroffailingallat

once.Atmyageonebeginstobesensibleofinfirmities,and

thoseofthebodycommunicatewiththemind.Irepeatittoyou,

GilBlas,assoonasyoushallbeofopinionthatmyheadisnot

soclearasusual,givemewarningofitinstantly.Donotbe

afraidofoffendingbyfranknessandsincerity,toputmeinmind

ofmyownfrailtywillbethestrongestproofofyouraffection

forme.Besides,yourveryinterestisconcernedinit,forifit

should,byanyspiteofchancetowardsyou,cometomyearsthat

thepeoplesayintown,“Hisgrace’ssermonsproducenolonger

theiraccustomedimpression,itistimeforhimtoabandonhis

pulpittoyoungercandidates,”Idoassureyoumostseriouslyand

solemnly,youwillnotonlylosemyfriendship,buttheprovision

forlifethatIhavepromisedyou.Suchwillbetheresultof

yoursillytamperingwithtruth.

Heremypatronleftofftowaitformyanswer,whichwasanecho

ofhisspeech,andapromiseofobeyinghiminallthings.From

thatmomenttherewerenosecretsfromme;Ibecametheprime

favourite.Allthehousehold,exceptMelchiordelaRonda,looked

atmewithaneyeofenvy.Itwascurioustoobservethemanner

inwhichthewholeestablishment,fromthehighesttothelowest,

thoughtitnecessarytodemeanthemselvestowardshisgrace’s

confidentialsecretary;therewasnomeannesstowhichtheywould

notstooptocurryfavourwithme;Icouldscarcelybelievethey

wereSpaniards.Ileftnostoneunturnedtobeofserviceto

them,withoutbeingtakeninbytheirinterestedassiduities.My

lordarchbishop,atmyentreaty,tookthembythehand.Hegota

companyforone,andfittedhimoutsoastomakeahandsome

figureinthearmy.AnotherhesenttoMexico,witha

considerableappointmentwhichheprocuredhim;andIobtaineda

goodsliceofhisbountyformyfriendMelchior.Itwasevident

fromthesefacts,thatiftheprelatewasnotparticularlyactive

ingoodworks,atleastherarelygaveachurlishrefusal,when

anyonehadthecouragetoimportunehimforhisbenevolence.

ButwhatIdidforapriestseemstodeservebeingnoticedmore

atlarge.Onedayacertainlicentiate,bynameLewisGarcias,a

well-lookingmanstillintheprimeoflife,waspresentedtome

byoursteward,whosaid—SignorGilBlas,inthishonest

ecclesiasticyoubeholdoneofmybestfriends.Hewasformerly

chaplaintoanunnery.Scandalhastakenafewlibertieswithhis

chastity.Maliciousstorieshavebeentrumpeduptohurthimin

mylordarchbishop’sopinion,whohassuspendedhim,and

unfortunatelyissostronglyprejudicedbyhisenemies,astobe

deaftoanypetitioninhisfavour.Invainhaveweinterested

thefirstpeopleinGrenadatogethimre-established;ourmaster

willnothearofit.

ThesefirstpeopleinGrenada,saidI,havegonethewrongwayto

work.Itwouldhavebeenmuchbetterifnointerestatallhad

beenmadeforthereverendlicentiate.Peoplehaveonlydonehim

amischiefbyendeavouringtoservehim.Iknowmylord

archbishopthoroughly:entreatiesandimportunaterecommendations

dobutaggravatetheillconditionofaclergymanwholiesunder

hisdispleasure:itisbutaveryshorttimeagosinceIheard

himmutterthefollowingsentimenttohimselfThemorepersonsa

priest,whohasbeenguiltyofanymisconduct,engagestospeak

tomeinhisbehalf,themorewidelyisthescandalofthechurch

disseminated,andthemoresevereismytreatmentofthe

offender.Thatisveryunlucky,repliedthesteward;andmy

friendwouldbeputtohislastshiftsifhedidnotwriteagood

hand.But,happily,hehasthepenofareadyscribe,andkeeps

hisheadabovewaterbytheexerciseofthattalent.Iwas

curioustoseewhetherthisboastedhandwritingwassomuch

betterthanmyown.Thelicentiate,whohadaspecimeninhis

pocket,shewedmeasheetwhichIadmiredverymuch:ithadall

theregularityofawriting-master’scopy.Inlookingoverthis

modelofpenmanship,anideaoccurredtome.IbeggedGarciato

leavethispaperinmyhands,saying,thatImightbeabletodo

somethingwithitwhichshouldturnouttohisadvantage;thatI

couldnotexplainmyselfatthatmoment,butwouldtellhimmore

thenextday.Thelicentiate,towhomthestewardhadevidently

talkedbigaboutmycapacitytoservehim,withdrewinasgood

spiritsasifhehadalreadybeenrestoredtohisfunctions.

Iwasinearnestinmyendeavourthatheshouldbeso,andlost

notimeinsettingtowork.Happeningtobealonewiththe

archbishop,Iproducedthespecimen.Mypatronwasdelightedwith

it.Seizingonthisfavourableopportunity,Mayitpleaseyour

grace,saidI,sinceyouaredeterminednottoputyourhomilies

tothepress,Ishouldverymuchlikethematlasttobe

transcribedinthismasterlymanner.

Iamverywellsatisfiedwithyourperformance,answeredthe

prelate,butyetIownthatitwouldbeapleasantthingenough

tohaveacopyofmyworksinthathand.Yourgrace,repliedI,

hasonlytosignifyyourwishes.Themanwhocopiessowellisa

licentiateofmyacquaintance.Itwillgivehimsomuchthemore

pleasuretogratifyyou,asitmaybethemeansofinteresting

yourgoodnesstoextricatehimfromthemelancholysituationto

whichhehasthemisfortuneatpresenttobereduced.

Theprelatecouldnotdootherwisethaninquirethenameofthis

licentiate.ItoldhimitwasLewisGarcias.Heisindespairat

havingdrawndownyourcensureuponhim.ThatGarcias,

interruptedhe,ifIamnotmistaken,waschaplaininaconvent

ofnuns,andhasbeenbroughtintotheecclesiasticalcourtasa

delinquent.Irecollectsomeveryheavychargeswhichhavebeen

sentmeagainsthim.Hismoralsarenotthemostexemplary.May

itpleaseyourgrace,interruptedIinmyturn,itisnotforme

tojustifyhiminallpoints;butIknowthathehasenemies.He

maintainsthattheauthorsoftheinformationsyouhavereceived

aremorebentondoinghimanillofficethanonvindicatingthe

purityofreligion.Thatverypossiblymaybethecase,replied

thearchbishop;thereareagreatmanyfirebrandsintheworld.

Besides,thoughweshouldtakeitforgrantedthathisconduct

hasnotalwaysbeenabovesuspicion,hemayhaverepentedofhis

sins;inshort,themerciesofheavenareinfinite,however

heinousourtransgressions.Bringthatlicentiatebeforeme,I

takeoffhissuspension.

Thusitisthatmenofthemostausterecharacterdescendfrom

theiraltitudes,wheninterestorafavouritewhimreducesthem

tothelevelofthefrail.Thearchbishopgranted,withouta

struggle,totheemptyvanityofhavinghisworkswellcopied,

whathehadrefusedtothemostrespectableapplications.I

carriedthenewswithallpossibleexpeditiontothesteward,who

communicatedittohisfriendGarcias.Thatlicentiate,onthe

followingday,cametoreturnmethankscommensuratewiththe

favourobtained.Ipresentedhimtomymaster,whocontented

himselfwithgivinghimaslightreprimand,andputthehomilies

intohishand,tocopythemoutfair.Garciasperformedthetask

sosatisfactorily,thathewasreinstatedinthecureofsouls,

andwasafterwardspreferredtothelivingofGabia,alarge

markettownintheneighbourhoodofGrenada.

CH.IV.—TheArchbishopisafflictedwithastrokeofapoplexy.

HowGilBlasgetsintoadilemma,andhowhegetsout.

WHILEIwasthusrenderingmyselfablessingfirsttooneand

thentotheother,DonFerdinanddeLeyvawasmakinghis

arrangementsforleavingGrenada.Icalledonthatnobleman

beforehisdeparture,tothankhimoncemorefortheadvantageous

posthehadprocuredme.Myexpressionsofsatisfactionwereso

lively,thathesaid—MydearGilBlas,Iamdelightedtofind

youinsuchgoodhumourwithmyunclethearchbishop.Iam

absolutelyinlovewithhim,answeredI.Hisgoodnesstomehas

beensuchasIcanneversufficientlyacknowledge.Lessthanmy

presenthappinesscouldneverhavemademeamendsforbeingatso

greatadistancefromDonCaesarandhisson.Iampersuaded,

repliedhe,thattheyarebothofthemequallychagrinedat

havinglostyou.Butpossiblyyouarenotseparatedforever;

fortunemaysomedaybringyoutogetheragain.Icouldnothear

suchanideastartedwithoutbeingmovedbyit.Mysighswould

findvent;andIfeltatthatmomentsostronganaffectionfor

DonAlphonso,thatIcouldwillinglyhaveturnedmybackonthe

archbishopandallthefineprospectsthatwereopeningtome,

andhavegonebacktothecastleofLeyva,hadbuta

mortificationtakenplaceinthebackofthescarecrowwhichhad

frightenedmeaway.DonFerdinandwasnotinsensibletothe

emotionsthatagitatedme,andfelthimselfsomuchobligedby

them,thathetookhisleavewiththeassuranceofthewhole

familyalwaystakingananxiousinterestinmyfate.

Twomonthsafterthisworthygentlemanhadleftus,inthe

luxuriantharvestofmyhighestfavour,aloweringstormcame

suddenlyovertheepiscopalpalace;thearchbishophadastroke

ofapoplexy.Bydintofimmediateapplicationsandgoodnursing,

inafewdaystherewasnobodilyappearanceofdisease

remaining.Buthisreverendintellectsdidnotsoeasilyrecover

fromtheirlethargy.Icouldnothelpobservingittomyselfin

theveryfirstdiscoursethathecomposed.Yettherewasnotsuch

awidegapbetweenthemeritsofthepresentandtheformerones,

astowarranttheinferencethatthesunoforatorywasmany

degreesadvancedinitspost-meridiancourse.Asecondhomilywas

worthwaitingfor;becausethatwouldclearlydeterminetheline

ofmyconduct.Alas,andwell-a-day!whenthatsecondhomily

came,itwasaknock-downargument.Sometimesthegoodprelate

movedforward,andsometimeshemovedbackwards;sometimeshe

mountedupintothegarret;andsometimesdippeddownintothe

cellar.Itwasacompositionofmoresoundthanmeaning,

somethinglikeasuperannuatedschoolmaster’stheme,whenhe

attemptstogivehisboysmoresensethanhepossessesofhis

own,orlikeacapuchin’ssermon,whichonlyscattersafew

artificialflowersofpaltryrhetoricoverabarrendesertof

doctrine.

Iwasnottheonlypersonwhomthealterationstruck.The

audienceatlarge,whenhedeliveredit,asiftheytoohadbeen

pledgedtowatchtheadvancesofdotage,saidtooneanotherina

whisperallroundthechurch—Hereisasermon,withsymptoms

ofapoplexyineveryparagraph.Come,mygoodCoryphaeusofthe

publictasteinhomilies,saidIthentomyselfpreparetodo

youroffice.Youseethatmylordarchbishopisgoingveryfast-

-yououghttowarnhimofit,notonlyashisbosomfriend,on

whosesincerityherelies,butlestsomebluntfellowshould

anticipateyou,andboltoutthetruthinanoffensivemanner.In

thatcaseyouknowtheconsequence;youwouldbestruckoutof

hiswill,wherenodoubtyouhaveamoreconvertiblebequestthan

thelicentiateS�dillo’slibrary.

Butasreason,likeJanus,looksatthingswithtwofaces,I

begantoconsidertheothersideofthequestion;thehintseemed

difficulttowrapupsoastomakeitpalatable.Authorsin

generalarestarkmadonthesubjectoftheirownworks,andsuch

anauthormightbemoretestythanthecommonherdofthe

irritablerace:butthatsuspicionseemedilliberalonmypart,

foritwasimpossiblethatmyfreedomshouldhetakenamiss,when

ithadbeenforceduponmebysopositiveaninjunction.Addto

this,thatIreckoneduponhandlingthesubjectskilfully,and

crammingdiscretiondownhisthroatlikeahigh-seasoned

epicureandish.Afterallmyproandcon,findingthatIrisked

morebykeepingsilencethanbybreakingit,Ideterminedto

ventureonthedelicatedutyofspeakingmymind.

Nowtherewasbutonedifficulty;adifficultyindeed!howto

openthebusiness.Luckilytheoratorhimselfextricatedmefrom

thatembarrassment,byaskingwhattheysaidofhimintheworld

atlarge,andwhetherpeopleweretolerablywellpleasedwithhis

lastdiscourse.Iansweredthattherecouldbebutoneopinion

abouthishomilies;butthatitshouldseemasifthelasthad

notquitestruckhometotheheartsoftheaudience,likethose

whichhadgonebefore.Doyoureallymeanwhatyousay,my

friend?repliedhe,withasortofwrigglingsurprise.Thenmy

congregationaremoreinthetemperofAristarchusthanof

Longinus!No,mayitpleaseyourgrace,rejoinedI,quitethe

contrary.Performancesofthatorderareabovethereachof

vulgarcriticism:thereisnotasoulbutexpectstobesavedby

theirinfluence.Nevertheless,sinceyouhavemadeitmydutyto

besincereandunreserved,Ishalltakethelibertyofjust

statingthatyourlastdiscourseisnotwrittenwithquitethe

overpoweringeloquenceandconclusiveargumentofyourformer

ones.DoesnotyourgracefeeljustasIdoonthesubject?

Thisignorantandstupidfranknessofminecompletelyblanchedmy

master’scheek;butheforcedafretfulsmile,andsaid—Then,

goodMasterGilBlas,thatpiecedoesnotexactlyhityourfancy?

Ididnotmeantosaythat,yourgrace,interruptedI,looking

veryfoolish.Itisveryfarsuperiortowhatanyoneelsecould

produce,thoughalittlebelowparwithrespecttoyourownworks

ingeneral.Iknowwhatyoumean,repliedhe.YouthinkIam

goingdownhill,donotyou?Outwithitatonce.Itisyour

opinionthatitistimeformetothinkofretiring?Ishould

neverhavehadthepresumption,saidI,todelivermyselfwithso

littlereserve,ifithadnotbeenyourgrace’sexpresscommand.

Iactinentireobediencetoyourgrace’sorders;andImost

obsequiouslyimploreyourgracenottotakeoffenceatmy

boldness.IwereunfittoliveinaChristianland!interrupted

he,withstammeringimpatience;Iwereunfittoliveina

ChristianlandifIlikedyouthelessforsuchaChristian

virtueassincerity.Amanwhodoesnotlovesinceritysetshis

faceagainstthedistinguishingmarkbetweenafriendanda

flatterer.Ishouldhavegivenyouinfinitecreditforspeaking

whatyouthought,ifyouhadthoughtanythingthatdeservedtobe

spoken.Ihavebeenfinelytakeninbyyouroutsideshewof

cleverness,withoutanysolidfoundationofsoberjudgment!

Thoughcompletelyunhorsed,andattheenemy’smercy,Iwantedto

maketermsofdecentcapitulation,andtogounmolestedinto

winterquarters:butletthosewhothinktoappeasean

exasperatedauthor,andespeciallyanauthorwhoseearhasbeen

longattunedtothemusicofhisownpraises,takewarningbymy

fate.Letustalknomoreonthesubject,myveryyoungfriend,

saidhe.Youareasyetscarcelyintherudimentsofgoodtaste,

andutterlyincompetenttodistinguishbetweengoldandtinsel.

YouareyettoleanthatIneverinallmylifecomposedafiner

homilythanthatunfortunateonewhichhadnotthehonourofyour

approbation.Theimmortalpartofme,bytheblessingofheaven

onmeandmycongregation,islessweigheddownbyhuman

infirmitythanwhenthefleshwasstronger.Weallgrowwiseras

wegrowolder,andIshallinfutureselectthepeopleaboutme

withmorecaution;norsubmitthecastigationofmyworksbutto

amuchablercriticthanyourself.Getaboutyourbusiness!

pursuedhe,givingmeanangryshovebytheshouldersoutofhis

closet;goandtellmytreasurertopayyouahundredducats,and

takemypriestlyblessinginadditiontothatsum.Godspeedyou,

goodMasterGilBlas!Iheartilypraythatyoumaydowellinthe

world!Thereisnothingtostandinyourway,butthewantofa

littlebettertaste.

CH.V.—ThecoursewhichGilBlastookafterthearchbishophad

givenhimhisdismissal.Hisaccidentalmeetingwiththe

licentiatewhowassodeeplyinhisdebt,andapictureof

gratitudeinthepersonofaparson.

IMADEthebestofmywayoutofthecloset,cursingthecaprice,

ormoreproperlythedotageofthearchbishop,andmorein

dudgeonathisabsurdity,thancastdownatthelossofhisgood

graces.ForsometimeitwasamootpointwhetherIshouldgoand

layclaimtomyhundredducats;butafterhavingweighedthe

matterdispassionately,Iwasnotsuchafoolastoquarrelwith

mybreadandbutter.Therewasnoreasonwhythatmoney,fairly

earned,shoulddeprivemeofmynaturalrighttomakeajokeof

thisridiculousprelate;inwhichgooddeedIpromisedmyselfnot

tobewanting,asoftenashimselforhishomilieswerebrought

uponthecarpetinmyhearing.

Iwentthereforeandaskedthetreasurerforahundredducats,

withouttellingawordabouttheliterarywarfarebetweenhis

masterandme.AfterwardsIcalledonMelchiordelaRonda,to

takealongleaveofhim.Hewastoomuchmyfriendnotto

sympathizewithmymisfortune.WhileIwastellingmystory

vexationwasstronglyimprintedonmycountenance.Inspiteof

allhisrespectforthearchbishop,hecouldnothelpblaming

him;but,wheninthefeverofmyresentmentIthreatenedtobea

matchfortheprelate,andtoentertainthewholecityathis

expense,theprudentMelchiorgavemeasalutarycaution:Takemy

advice,mydearGilBlas,andratherpockettheaffront.Menofa

lowersphereinlifeshouldalwaysbecapinhandtopeopleof

quality,whatevermaybetheirgroundsofcomplaint.Itmustbe

admitted,therearesomeverycoarsespecimensofgreatness,

whichinthemselvesarescarcelydeservingoftheleastrespect

orattention;butevensuchanimalshavetheirweaponsof

annoyance,anditisbesttokeepoutoftheirway.

Ithankedtheoldvalet-de-chambreforthegoodcounselhehad

givenme,andpromisedtobeguidedbyit.Pleasedwithmy

deferencetohisopinion,hesaidtome:IfyougotoMadrid,be

sureyoucalluponmynephew,JosephNavarro.Heisfactotumin

thefamilyofSignorDonBalthazardeZunigna,andIcanventure

torecommendhimasaladineveryrespectworthyofyour

friendship.Heisjustasnaturemadehim,withallthevivacity

ofyouth,courteousinhismanners,andforwardtooblige;I

couldwishyoutogetacquaintedwithhim.IansweredthatI

wouldnotfailtogoandseethisJosephNavarroassoonasI

shouldgettoMadrid,whitherImeanttoreturninduetime.Then

didIturnmybackontheepiscopalpalace,nevertograceit

withmypresenceagain.IfIhadkeptmyhorse,Ishouldperhaps

havesetoutforToledoimmediately;butIhadsolditduringthe

periodofmyadministration,supposingthatIwasinofficefor

life,andshouldnothenceforwardbemigratory.Myfinal

resolutionwastohireaready-furnishedlodging,asIhadmade

upmymindtostayanothermonthinGrenada,andthentopaythe

CountdePolanavisit.

Asdinner-hourwasdrawingnigh,Iaskedmylandladyiftherewas

anyeating-houseintheneighbourhood.Sheansweredthatthere

wasaverygoodonewithinafewyardsofherhouse,wherethe

accommodationswereexcellent,andthecompanyselectand

numerous.Imadehershewmewhereitwas,andwentthithersharp

set.Iwasshewnintoalargeroom,resemblingthehallofa

monasteryineverythingbutgoodcheer.Thereweretenoradozen

mensittingatalongtable,withaclothspreadoveritthat

frettedinitsowngrease;butthey,withunoffendednostrils,

wereengagedingeneralconversation,thoughtheydined

individually,eachhavingamiserablescrapforhisportion.The

peopleofthehousebroughtmemyallowance,whichatanother

timewouldhaveturnedmystomach,andhavemademesighafter

theluxuriesofthetableIhadjustlost.ButatthismomentI

wassoindignantagainstthearchbishop,thatthehomelyfareof

apaltryeating-houseseemedmorepalatablethanthedaintiesof

hissumptuousboard.Itwasaburningshametoseesuchawaste

ofprovisionsservedupinsoupsandsaucestopamperthe

appetite.Arguinglikeadeepexaminerintheeconomyofthe

humanframe,andreasoningmedicallyaswellasphilosophically,

onthedisproportionbetweenthesimplewantsofnatureandthe

complexityofluxuriousindulgence;cursedbethey,saidI,who

inventedthoseperniciousdinnersandsuppers,whereonemustsit

onthetenterhooksofself-denial,forfearofoverloadingthe

storehouseandshopofthewholebody!Manwantsbutlittlehere

below;andprovidedhecanbutkeepbodyandsoultogether,the

lessheeatsthebetter.ThusdidI,inmysurlyvein,give

utterancetowisesaws;which,howeverjustintheory,had

hithertobeenlittlerecommendedbymypractice.

WhileIwasdispatchingmycommons,withoutanydangerofa

surfeitfromrepletion,thelicentiateLewisGarcias,whohadgot

thelivingofGabiainthemannerabove-mentioned,cameintothe

room.Themomentherecognizedme,heranintomyarmswithall

thecordialityoffriendship,orratherwiththeextravagantjoy

ofaloverafteralongexilefromhismistress.Hefoldedme

repeatedlywithinhissincereembrace,andIwascompelledto

standthebruntofalong-windedcomplimentontheunparalleled

disinterestednessofmyconducttowardshim.Gratitudeisafine

virtue;andyetitiswearisomewhencarriedbeyondduebounds!

Hetookhisseatnextme,saying:Well!aparsonmustnotswear;

thoughbythemass,mydearpatron,sincemygoodfortunehas

thrownmeinyourway,wewillnotpartwithoutajovialglass.

Butasthereisnogoodwineinthisshabbyinn,Iwilltakeyou,

ifyouplease,afterourmake-shiftdinner,toaplacewhereI

willtreatyouwithacoupleofbottles,rich,genuine,andold,

incomparisonofwhichtheFalernianofHoracewasallafarce.

Thechurchwillgiveusabsolution,inthecauseofgratitude!If

IcouldbutgetyouforafewdaysdownatmyparsonageofGabia!

Maecenaswasnevermorewelcometothepoet’sSabinefarm,than

theauthorofallmyeaseandcomforttothechoicestproduceof

aglebewhichismineonlybyyourbenevolence.

Whilehewasholdingthishigh-flownlanguage,hislittleslice

ofdinnerwassetbeforehim.Hefelltowithoutthefearof

indigestionbeforehiseyes,stillheighteningtheluxuryofthe

repastatintervals,byfinespeechesaddressedtomeinthemost

fulsomestyleofflattery.Itooktheopportunity,whenhismouth

wasfilledwithsomethingmoresubstantial,toedgeinawordor

twoamidstthetorrent;andashehadnotforgottentoaskafter

hisfriendthesteward,Imadenobonesaboutacknowledgingthat

Iwasnolongerahanger-onofthechurch.Ievenwentsofaras

toparticularizethemosttrivialcircumstancesattendingmy

resignation,toallofwhichhelistenedwithanattentiveear.

Afterallhisfineprofessions,whowouldnothaveexpectedto

seehimmovedeventotearswiththethroesofresentful

gratitude,tohearhimthunderbullsandinterdictsagainstthe

superannuatedarchbishop?Thedevilabit!hedidneithertheone

thingnortheother.Buthiscountenancefell,andhiswholeair

wasthatofanabsentman;therestofhisdinnerwasbolteddown

withoutthegarnishofintermediatetalkaboutMaecenas;assoon

ashehaddone,hehurriedfromtablewithoutmindinggraceor

gratitude,wishedmegooddaywithacoldanddistantair,and

gotoffasfastaspossible.Theunfeelingscoundrel,perceiving

thatIwasnolongerinasituationforhimtopumpanythingout

ofme,wouldnoteventakethetroubletodrawadecentveilover

hisdirtyprinciples.Butsuchablackguardcouldexcitenoother

sensationthancontemptandlaughter.Lookingathimwith

derision,thefittestchastisementforfellowslikethese,I

calledafterhimloudenoughtobeheardbythewholeroom:Stop

there,younun’spriest!Goandputthosetwobottlesinice

againstMaecenascomestotheSabinefarm!Besuretheyarerich,

genuine,andold;ortheywillbeafarcetoFalernian.

CH.VI.—GilBlasgoestotheplayatGrenada.Hissurpriseat

seeingoneoftheactresses,andwhathappenedthereupon.

NosoonerhadGarciasridtheroomofhispresence,thantwo

gentlemencamein,extremelywelldressed,andtooktheirseats

closebyme.TheybegantalkingabouttheplayersoftheGrenada

company,andaboutanewpiecewhichjustthenhadagreatrun.

Accordingtotheiraccount,itwasquitethetowntalk.Nothing

woulddoforme,buttogoandseeitthatveryday.Ihadnever

beenattheplaysincemyresidenceatGrenada.AsIhadlived

nearlythewholetimeinthearchbishop’spalace,whereallsuch

profaneshewswerecondemnedasuncanonical,Ihadbeencutoff

fromeveryrecreationofthatsort.Allmyknowledgeofmenand

mannerswasdrawnfromhomilies!

Irepairedthereforetothetheatreattheappointedhour,and

foundaveryfullhouse.Allaroundme,discussionsweregoingon

aboutthepiecebeforethecurtaindrewup;andtherewasnota

soulinthenumerousassemblybuthadsomeremarktomakeupon

it.Onelikedit,anothercouldnotbearit.Donotyouthinkthe

dialogueisparticularlyhappy?saidacandidcriticonmyright.

Wasthereeversuchmiserablestuff!criedasnarlingcriticon

myleft.Ingoodtruth,ifbadauthorsabound,itmustbe

admittedthatthepublicareatvarianceaboutwhatisgoodand

whatisbad:butthebadjudgeshavearighttobepleasedfor

theirmoney;andastheyfaroutnumberthegoodones,their

favouritewriterscanneverwantemployment.Whenoneonly

considersthroughwhatanordealdramaticpoetshavetopass,it

isamatterofwonderthatanyshouldbefoundhardyenoughat

oncetocontendagainsttheignoranceofthemultitude,andthe

randomshotofthoseself-createdguidesinmattersoftaste,who

alwayspretendtoleadtheblindnessofthepublicjudgment,and

toofrequentlypushitintothemireofabsurdity.

Atlengththebuffoonofthepiececameforwardbywayof

prologue.Assoonashisgrotesquecountenancewasvisible,there

wasageneralclappingofhands;asureindicationofhisbeing

oneofthosespoiledactors,whoareallowedtotakeany

libertieswiththepit,andtobeapplaudedthroughthickand

thin,infact,thisplayerneitheropenedhislips,normoveda

muscle,withoutexcitingthemostextravagantraptures.Hewould

haveperformedbetter,hadhebeenlessconsciouswhata

favouritehewas.Buthepresumedonthatcircumstancemost

abominably.Iobservedthathesometimesforgotwhatwassetdown

forhim,andtookthelicenceofaddingtohispartoutofhis

ownfreefancy;acommoncauseofcomplaintagainstlow

comedians,which,thoughitmaketheunskilfullaugh,cannotbut

makethejudiciousgrieve.Wouldtheaudiencebutreceivesuch

mirthwithhisses,insteadofcryingbravo,theymightrestrain

theabsurdpractice,andpurgethestagefrombarbarism.

Someoftheotherperformersweregreetedwiththeusualtokens

ontheirentrance,andparticularlyanactresswhoplayedthe

chambermaid.Therewassomethingaboutherwhichmorethan

usuallyattractedmyattention;andlanguagemustsinkunderthe

labourofexpressingmyastonishmentattracingthefeaturesof

Laura,thatfair,thatchaste,thatinexpressibleshe,whomI

supposedtobestillatMadrid,warblinginonekey,withhands,

sides,voice,andmindincorporatewithArsenia.Buttherecould

benodoubtofheridentity.Thekickinhergallop,theleerin

hereye,andthetrippingpertnessofhertongue,allconspired

inevidencethattherecouldbenomistake.Yet,asifIhad

refusedbelieftotheaffidavitofmyowneyesandears,Iasked

hernameofagentlemanwhowassittingbesideme.Whatthe

deuce!Why,wheredoyoucomefrom?saidhe.Youmust

unquestionablybeanewimportation,nottohaveseenorheardof

thedivineEstella.

Thelikenesswastooperfectformetobemistaken.Itwaseasy

tocomprehendwhyLaura,changinghersphereofaction,changed

hernamealso;whereforefromcuriositytoknowhowmattersstood

withher,sincethepublicalwayspryintothemostprivate

concernsoftheatricalpersons,Iinquiredofthesameman

whetherthisEstellahadanyparticularaffairofgallantryon

herhands.Heinformedmethatforthelasttwomonthstherehad

beenagreatPortuguesenoblemanatGrenada,hisnamewasthe

MarquisdeMarialva,whohadlaidoutagreatdealofmoneyupon

her.Hemighthavetoldmemore,ifIhadnotbeenafraidof

becomingtroublesomewithmyquestions.Iwasbetteremployedin

musingontheinformationthisgoodgentlemanhadgivenme,than

inattendingtotheplay;andifanyonehadaskedmewhatitwas

allabout,whenthepiecewasover,Ishouldhavebeenpuzzled

forananswer.IcoulddonothingbutdeclineLauraandEstella

throughallcasesandnumbers;tillatlengthIboldlymadeupmy

mindtocallatherhousethenextday.Notbuttherewassome

riskastothereceptionshemightgiveme:itmightbe

suspected,withoutexcessofmodesty,thatmyappearancewould

givehernogreatpleasureinthehightideofheraffairs;nor

wasitatallimprobablethatsogoodanactress,torevenge

herselfonaman,withwhomcertainlyshehadanaccountto

settle,mightlookstrange,andswearshehadneverseenhisface

before.Yetdidnoneoftheseapprehensionsdetermefrommy

venture.Afteralightsupper,forallthemealsatmyeating-housewereregulatedonprinciplesofeconomyandtemperance,I

withdrewtomychamberwithananxiouslongingforthenextday.

Mysleepwasshortandinterrupted;sothatIgotupbydaybreak.

Butasitwastoberecollectedthatamistressinhighkeepwas

notlikelytobevisibleearlyinthemorning,Ipassedthreeor

fourhoursindressing,shaving,powdering,andperfuming.Itwas

mybusinesstopresentmyselfbeforeherinatrim,nottoput

hertotheblushatacknowledgingmyacquaintance.Isallied

forthaboutteno’clock,andknockedatherdoor,afterhaving

inquiredheraddressatthetheatre.Shewaslivingonthefirst

floorofalargeandeleganthouse.Itoldachambermaidwho

openedthedoortome,thatayoungmanwantedtospeakwithher

lady.Thechambermaidwentintogivemymessage,whenallat

onceIheardhermistresscallout,notinthebest-temperedtone

intheworld,Whoistheyoungman?Whatdoeshewant?Shewhim

upstairs.

Thiswasahinttomethatmytimewasillchosen;thatprobably

herPortugueseloverwasathertoilette,andthatshespokeso

loud,withthelaudabledesignofconvincinghimthatshewasnot

asortofgirltoallowofanyimpertinentintruders.This

conjectureofmineturnedouttobethefact;theMarquisde

Marialvaloungedawayalmosteverymorningwithher:Ihadmade

upmymindtobekickeddown-stairsbywayofwelcome;butthat

admirableactress,neverforgettinghercue,ranforwardwith

openarmsatthesightofme,exclaiming:Ah!mydearbrother,is

ityouthatIbehold?Onthestrengthofsonearakindred,she

wasnoniggardofherembraces;butrecollectedherselfsofar

astosay,turningroundtothePortuguese,Mylord,youmust

excusemeifnaturewillputinherclaim,andtrenchupongood

breeding.Afterthreeyearsofabsence,Icannotseeabrother

onceagain,whomIlovesotenderly,withoutexpressingmy

feelingsinalltheirwarmth.Come!mydearGilBlas,continued

she,addressingmeafresh,tellmesomenewsofthefamily:in

whatcircumstancesdidyouleaveit?

Thiswhimsicalscenedisconcertedmeatfirst;butIwasnotlong

inseeingthroughLaura’sintention;andplayinguptoherwitha

spiritscarcelylessthanherown,answeredaccordingtothe

plot:Heavenbepraised,sister,allourgoodfolksarein

perfecthealth,andwellintheworld.Imakenodoubt,resumed

she,butyoumustbeverymuchsurprisedtofindmeanactressin

Grenada;buthearmefirstandblamemeafterwards.Itisthree

years,asyoumayrecollect,sincemyfatherthoughttohave

establishedmeadvantageouslyinmarriagewithDonAntonio

Coello,anofficerintheservice,whotookmefromtheAsturias

toMadrid,hisnativeplace.Sixmonthsafterourarrival,hegot

intoanaffairofhonourinconsequenceofhisviolenttemper.

Someattentionsincautiouslypaidtomewerethecauseofthe

affray,andhisantagonistwaskilled.Thisgentlemanwasofa

familyhighinrankandinterest.Myhusband,whothoughwell

born,hadveryfewconnections,madehisescapeintoCatalonia

witheverythinghecouldgettogetherinjewelsandreadymoney.

HeembarkedatBarcelona,wentoverintoItaly,enlistedinthe

Venetianservice,andfinallylosthislifeintheMorea,

fightingagainsttheTurks.Inthemeantime,alandedestate

whichconstitutedourwholerevenuewasconfiscated,andIwas

leftawidowwithverylittleformysupport.Whatwastobedone

insopressinganemergency?Therewasnothinglefttopaymy

travellingexpensesbackintotheAsturias.Andthenwhatshould

Ihavedonethere?Ishouldhavegotnothingfrommyfamilybuta

longstringofcondolences,whichwouldhavefurnishedmeneither

withfoodnorwithraiment.Ontheotherhand,Ihadbeentoo

wellbroughtuptofallintothosecourses,intowhichtoomany

pooryoungwomenarebetrayedforthesakeofascandalous

subsistence.Therewasbutonethingremainingformeto

determineon.Iturnedactresstopreservemymorals.

Sotinglingasenseofridiculecameoverme,whenLaurawoundup

herromancewiththispiousmotiveforturningactress,thatI

couldscarcelyrefrainfromrelievingmyselfbyafitof

laughter.Butgravitywasoftoomuchconsequencetobedispensed

with;andIsaidtoherwithanairthecounterpartofherown—

Mydearsister,Ientirelyapproveofyourconduct,andam

heartilygladtomeetwithyouatGrenada,andmoreoversettled

onsorespectableafooting.

TheMarquisdeMarialva,whohadnotlostawordofallthese

finespeeches,swalloweddownblindfoldwhateverDonAntonio’s

widowthoughtfittodrenchhiscredulitywith.Hetookpartin

theconversationtoo,andaskedmewhetherIhadanyfixed

employmentinGrenadaorelsewhere,Ipausedforamomentto

considerwhetherandafterwhatmannerIshouldlie;butasthere

seemednoneedinthiscasetodrawonmyinvention,Itoldthe

truthbywayofvariety.InaplainmatteroffactmannerdidI

rehearsemyintroductiontothearchbishop’spalace,andmy

dischargetherefrom,totheinfiniteamusementofhisPortuguese

lordship.Tobesure,intellingthetruth,Ididnotkeepmy

word,forIcouldnothelplaunchingoutalittleatthe

archbishop’sexpense,inspiteofmysolemnpromisegivento

Melchior.Butthebestofthejokewas,thatLaura,takingmy

storyforafictioninventedafterherexample,burstoutinto

pealsoflaughter:whereasthewhimsicalityofthecircumstance

wouldhaveraisedasoberermirth,hadsheknownittohavebeen

alloyedwiththebaseingredientofveracity.

Afterhavingcometotheendofmytale,whichclosedwithjust

mentioningthelodgingIhadtaken,dinnerwasannounced.I

instantlymotionedtowithdraw,asifintendingtotakethat

frugalmealathome;butLaurawouldnothearofit.Doyoumean

toaffrontme,brother!saidshe.Youmustdinehere.Indeed,I

cannotthinkofyourstayinganylongeratapaltryinn.Youmust

positivelyboardandlodgeinmyhouse.Sendyourtrunkshither

thisveryevening;thereisasparebedforyou.

HisPortugueselordship,possiblynotaltogetherrelishingthis

excessofhospitalityeventoabrother,theninterferedbetween

us,andsaidtoLaura—No,Estella,youhavenotsufficient

accommodationtogivehimabedwithoutinconvenience.Your

brotherseemstobeacleveryoungfellow;andthecircumstance

ofhisbeingsonearlyrelatedtoyou,giveshimastrongclaim

onmykindness.Heshallbeputatonceuponmyestablishment.I

aminwantofasecretary,andshalldelightingivinghimthe

appointment:heshallbemyright-handman.Lethimbesureto

comeandsleepatmyhousethisverynight;Iwillorderaroom

tobegotreadyforhim.Iwillfixhisregularsalaryatfour

hundredducats;andifonbetteracquaintanceIhavereasonasI

trustIshall,tobesatisfiedwithhim,Iwillplacehimina

situationtolaughattheconsequencesofhavingbeenalittle

tooplain-spokenwithhispatronthearchbishop.

Myacknowledgmentstothemarquisforthishighhonourwere

followedbythoseofLaura,whofarexceededmeinpowersof

panegyric.Letusdropthesubject,interruptedhe;itisa

settledpointSettledasitwas,heconfirmedthecontractonthe

lipsofhisgreen-roomDulcinea,andwenthisway.She

immediatelypulledmebythearmintoacloset,where,secure

frominterruption,shecriedout,Cutmylaces!Ishallburstif

Idonotgivewayatoncetothefitoflaughterthatiscoming

overme.Andsosheprobablywould;forshethrewherselfintoan

arm-chair,andholdingbothhersides,shoutedoutherconvulsive

pealofmirthlikeamadwoman.Itwasimpossibleformeto

refrainfromfollowingherexample.Whenwehadexhaustedour

risiblepropensities,Own,GilBlas,saidshe,thatwehavejust

beenactingaveryhumorousfarce.ButIdidnotlookforthe

concludingscene.Myonlythoughtwastosecureyouboardand

lodgingundermyownroof;andtherewasnootherpossibilityof

makingthepropositioninamodestwaybutbypassingyouofffor

mybrother.ButIamheartilygladthatthechapterofaccidents

hasopenedwithsogoodaberthforyou.TheMarquisdeMarialva

isanoblemanofliberalandhonourablesentiments,whowillbe

betterthanhiswordinwhathedoesforyou.Butconfessnow!

Thereisscarcelyawomaninexistenceexceptmyselfwouldhave

givensocoming-onareceptiontoafellowwhoshirkshisfriends

withoutsayingwithyourleaveorbyyourleave.Ihoweveramone

ofthosesimple-heartedgirls,whoaregladtoreceivebackagain

thebasemantheyhaveonceloved,thoughheshouldhaveoffended

andrepentedseven,orevenseventhousandtimes.

Thebestwayformewastoacknowledgetheextremeillbreeding

ofwhichIhadbeenguilty,toblushandbegpardononceforall.

Afterthisexplanation,sheledthewaytoaveryhandsome

dining-room.Weplacedourselvesattable,wherehavinga

chambermaidandafootboyforeye-witnesses,wekeptwithinthe

boundsofbrotherandsister.Whenwehaddonedinner,wewent

backagainintothesameclosetwherewehadbeenconversing

before.Havingourtimetoourselves,myparagonofaLaura,

givingherselfuptohernaturalloveofmerriment,andtoherno

lessnaturalcuriosity,requiredfrommeafaithfulandtrue

narrativeofallmyprosandcons,myinsandouts,sincethat

unmannerlyseparationofours.Igaveherafullandparticular

account:nothingextenuatingonmyownbehalf,norsettingdown

aughtinmaliceontheotherside.WhenIhadquenchedherthirst

afterastory,sheslakedmine,bycommunicatingtheparticulars

ofhereventfullifetothefollowingeffect.

CH.VII.—Laura’sStory.

ISHALLjustrunovertoyou,asbrieflyaspossible,the

circumstanceswhichledmetoembracethetheatricalprofession.

AfteryoutookFrenchleave,somuchtoyourcredit,greatevents

happened.MymistressArsenia,moresurfeitedwithaglutof

pleasuresthanscandalizedattheirimmorality,renouncedthe

stage,andtookmewithhertoafineestatewhichshehadjust

purchasedintheneighbourhoodofZenorawiththewagesofher

sinfullife.Wesoongotacquaintedinthetown.Ourvisitsthere

wereveryfrequent;andsometimesforadayortwotogether.With

theexceptionoftheselittleexcursions,wewereasclosely

domesticatedasprobationersinanunnery,andalmostaspiously

employed.

Ononeofourhighdaysandholidays,DonFelixMoldonado,the

corregidor’sonlyson,sawmebychance,andtookalikingtome.

Hesoonfoundanopportunityofspeakingwithmeinprivate;and,

asitisinvaintoaffectmodestybeforeonewhoknowsmeso

well,therewassomelittlecontrivanceofmyowntobringthe

interviewabout.Theyounggentlemanwasnottwentyyearsofage;

theverypictureofVenus’ssweetheart,orVenus’ssweetheartthe

verypictureofhim;withaformforasculptortoworkfrom;

withanaddresssoelegant,andwithsentimentssogenerous,as

tothrowevenhispersonalgracesintothebackground.Therewas

suchawinningwaywithhim,sopressinganearnestnessto

prevail,whenhetookalargediamondfromhisownfinger,and

slidituponmine,thatitwouldhavebeenquitebrutalnotto

haveletitstaythere.Itwasreallysomethinglikesentiment

thatIbegantoentertaintowardsaswainofsointerestinga

character.Butwhatanabsurdthingitisforwenchesofa

certainsorttohookthemselvesuponyoungmenoffamily,when

theirsurlyfathersholdofficialsituations!Thecorregidor,who

hadscarcelyhisequalinthewholetribeofcorregidors,got

windofourcorrespondence,anddeterminedtocloseitina

summarymanner.Hesentahostofalguazilstotakemeinto

custody,whodraggedmeaway,inspiteofmycriesandtears,to

thehouseofcorrectionforfemalepenitents.

There,withoutbillofindictmentorformoftrial,thelady

abbessorderedmetobestrippedofmyringandmyclothes,and

tobedressedinthehabitoftheinstitution;alonggownof

greysergetiedaboutthemiddlewithastrapofblackleather,

whencedependedarosarywithlargebeadsswingingdowntomy

heels.Afterthispleasantreception,theytookmeintoahall,

wheretherewasanoldmonk,thedeuceknowsofwhatorder,who

settoworkpreachinguprepentanceandresignation,prettymuch

inthesamestrainasDameLeonarda,whensheexhortedyouto

patienceinthesubterraneouscavern.HetoldmethatIwas

excessivelyobligedindeedtothosegoodpeoplewhohadsokindly

shutmeup,andcouldneverthankthemsufficientlyfortheir

gooddeed,inrescuingmefromtheharpytalonsoftheworld,the

flesh,andthedevil.ButImustfranklyownthatallmyother

sinswerepresseddownandheapedhighwithingratitude:farfrom

overflowingwiththemilkofhumankindnesstowardsthosewhohad

conferredsuchafavouruponme,Iabusedthemintermsthat

wouldhaveputanydictionarytotheblush.

Eightdaysthuspassedinthiswildernessofdesolation;buton

theninth,forIhadnotchedthehoursandeventheminutesona

stick,myfateseemedbeginningtotakeanotherturn.Crossinga

littlecourt,Imetthehousesteward,apersonagewhosewillwas

absolute;yes,theladyabbessherselfwasobedienttohiswill.

Herenderedanaccountofhisstewardshiptononebutthe

corregidor,onwhomalonehewasdependent,andwhoseconfidence

inhimwasunbounded.HisnamewasPedroZendono,andthetownof

SalsedoninBiscaylaidclaimtothehonourofhisbirth.Figure

toyourselfatallman,withthecomplexionofamummyandthe

bareanatomyofadealerinmortification;hemighthavesatfor

thepenitentthiefinapictureofthecrucifixion.Hescarcely

evercastacarnalglancetowardsusMagdalens.Youneversaw

suchafaceofrankhypocrisyinallyourlife,thoughyouhave

spentsomepartofitunderthesameroofwiththearchbishop,

andarenotunacquaintedwiththeclergyofhisdiocese.

Buttoreturnfromthisdigression;….ImetthisSignor

Zendono,whosaidtomeslilyashepassed—Takecomfort,my

girl,Iamsensiblyaffectedwithyourwretchedcase.Hesaidno

more,andwentonhisway,leavingmetomakemyowncommentson

soconciseandgeneralatextAshelookedlikeagoodman,and

therewasnopositiveevidencetosetagainsthislooks,Iwas

simpletonenoughtofancythathehadtakenthetroubleof

inquiringwhyIwasshutup;andmeant,notfindingmeso

atrociousaculpritastodeservesuchshamefulinsults,totake

mypartwiththecorregidor.ButIwasnotuptothetricksof

theBiscayan,hehadamuchlongerhead.Hewasturningoverin

hismindtheschemeofanelopement,andmadetheproposaltome

inprofoundprivacysomedaysafterwards.MydearLaura,saidhe,

yoursufferingshavetakensuchdeeppossessionofmymind,that

Ihavedeterminedtoendthem.Iamperfectlyawarethatmyown

ruinisinvolvedinthemeasure,butneedsmustwhenthetender

passiondrives.To-morrowmorningdoIintendtotakeyououtof

prison,andconductyouinpersontoMadrid.Nosacrificeistoo

greatforthepleasureofbeingyourdeliverer.

Iwasverynearfaintingwithsurpriseandjoyatthispromiseof

Zendono,who,concludingfrommyacknowledgmentsthatmyvery

lifedependedonmyrescue,hadtheeffronterytocarrymeoff

nextdayinthefaceofthewholetown,bythefollowingdevice:

—Hetoldtheladyabbessthathehadorderstotakemebefore

thecorregidor,whowasathiscountryboxafewmilesoff;and

withoutbetrayinghimselfbyasinglechangeofcountenance,

packedmeoff,withhimformycompanion,inapost-chaisedrawn

bytwogoodmuleswhichhehadboughtfortheoccasion.Ouronly

attendantwasthedriver,aservantofhisown,andentirely

devotedtothestewardbystrongertiesthanthoseofgratitude.

Webeganbowlingaway,notinthedirectionofMadrid,asIhad

takenforgranted,buttowardsthefrontiersofPortugal,whither

wegotinlesstimethanittookthecorregidorofZamorato

receivethedepositionofourflight,anduncouplehispackor

setthembarkingatourheels.

BeforeweenteredBraganza,theBiscayanmademeputonman’s

clothes,withwhichhehadtakentheprecautionofproviding

himself.Reckoningonmeasbeingfairlylaunchedinthesame

boatwithhim,hesaidtomeintheinnwhereweputup,Lovely

Laura,donottakeitunkindlyofmetohavebroughtyouinto

Portugal.ThecorregidorofZamorawillmakeourowncountrytoo

hottoholdus,forinhiseyeswearetwocriminals,underthe

weightofwhoseenormitiesitisnotforSpaintogroan.Butwe

maysethismaliceatdefianceinthisdistantrealm,thoughat

thepresentconjunctureunderthedominionoftheSpanish

monarchy.Atleastweshallstandabetterchanceforsafetyhere

thanathome.Leagueyourfortuneswiththoseofamanwhowould

followyouinprosperityorinadversitythroughtheworld.Let

usfixourresidenceatCoimbra.ThereIwillgetemployedasa

spyfortheinquisition;underthecoverofthatformidable

tribunal,arefreshingshadeforus,butCimmeriandarknessto

itsvictims,ourdayswillglidesmoothlyonineaseand

pleasure,weshallfattenonthespoilofreligiousdelinquency.

AproposalsomuchtothepointgavemetounderstandthatIhad

todowithaknight,whohadothermotivesforofficiatingasthe

guardianofdistresseddamsels,besidesthehonourofchivalry.I

sawatoncethathereckonedmuchonmygratitude,andstillmore

onmydistress.Nevertheless,thoughthesetwopleaswerealmost

equallyeloquentinhisfavour,Irejectedhisaddresseswith

disdain.Thereasonwas,thatthereweretwoadvocatesstillmore

eloquentonthesideofarefusal;acertaintythathewas

disagreeable,andastrongsuspicionthathewaspoor.Butwhen

hereturnedtothecharge,andofferedtosaythegraceof

matrimonybeforehefellto,provingtomeatthesametime,by

theundeniableevidenceofcashinhand,thathisstewardshiphad

enabledhimtoliveincloverforalongtimetocome,thetruth

mustcomeoutinspiteofblushes;myheartwassoftened,andmy

earsunstopped.Iwasdazzledbythegoldandjewelswhichhe

laidoutinburningrowbeforeme,andbecamealivingmonument

inmyownperson,thatmiraculoustransformationsareeffectedby

thepowerofpelf,aswellasbythewandoflove.MyBiscayan

became,bylittleandlittle,quiteanothersortofmaninmy

eyes.Histallbodyandbareboneswereplumpedupintoashapely

andcommandingfigure;hiscadaverouscomplexionwasimproved

intoamanlybrown:eventhatlook,asifbutterwouldnotmelt

inhismouth,wasnolongerhypocrisy,butastaidanddecent

aspect.Havingmadethesediscoveries,Iacceptedhishand

withoutanymaterialabhorrence,andheplightedtheusualvows

inalldueform.Afterthis,likeagoodwife,Ikeptthespirit

ofcontradictionasmuchaspossibleunderthehatches.We

resumedourjourney,andCoimbrasoonreceivedanewfamily

withinitswalls

Myhusbandstockedmywardrobeasbecamemysexandstation,

makingmeapresentofseveraldiamonds,amongwhichIfixedmy

eyeonthatofDonFelixMoldonado.Therewerenofurther

documentswantingtogiveashrewdguesswhencecameallthe

preciousstonesIhadseen,andtobemorallycertainthatIhad

notmarriedatroublesomelyniceobserveroftheeightharticle

inthedecalogue.Yet,consideringmyselfasthemain-springof

allhislittledeviationsfromthestrictlawofpropriety,it

wasnotformetojudgeharshlyonthatpointAwomancanalways

findapalliationforthemisdeedswhicharesetinmotionbythe

powerofherownbeauty.Butforthat,hecertainlywouldhave

rankednohigherthanoneofthewickedinmyestimation.

Ihadnogreatreasontocomplainofhimfortwoorthreemonths.

Hisattentionswerealwayspoliteandkind,amountingapparently

toasincereandtenderaffection.Butnosuchthing!These

proofsofweddedlove,thisworshippingwiththebody,and

endowingwiththeworldlygoods,wereallbutacopyofhis

countenance;forthecheatingfellowmeant,asmenservea

cucumber,tothrowmeawayonthefirstopportunity.Onemorning,

atmyreturnfrommass,Ifoundnothingathomebutthebare

walls;themoveables,notexceptingmyownapparel,everystick

andeverythread,hadbeencarriedoff.Zendonoandhisfaithful

servanthadtakentheirmeasuressoadroitly,thatinlessthan

anhourthehousehadbeencompletelygutted;sothatwith

nothingbutthegownuponmyback,andDonFelix’sring,asgood

luckwouldhaveit,onmyfinger,herestoodI,likeanother

Ariadne,abandonedbytheungratefulriflerofmyeffectsaswell

asofmycharms.Butyoumaytakemywordforit,Ididnot

beguilethesenseofmymisfortunesintragedy,elegy,scene

individable,orpoemunlimited.Iratherfelluponmyknees,and

blessedmyguardianangel,forhavingdeliveredmefromarascal

whomustsoonerorlaterfallintothehandsofjustice.Thetime

wehadpassedtogetherIconsideredinthelightofadeadloss,

andmyspiritswereallonthealerttomakeupforit.IfIhad

beeninclinedtostayinPortugal,asahanger-ontosomewoman

offashion,Ishouldhavefoundnodifficultyinsuitingmyself;

butwhetheritwaspatriotism,orsomeastrologicalconjunction,

preparingabetterfortuneformeundertheinfluenceofthe

planets,mywholeheartwasbentongettingbackintoSpain.I

appliedtoajeweller,whovaluedmydiamondandgavemecashfor

it,andthentookmydeparturewithanoldSpanishladywhowas

goingtoSevilleinapost-chaise.

Thislady,whosenamewasDorothea,hadbeentoseearelation

settledatCoimbra,andwasonherreturntoSeville,whereshe

lived.Therewassuchasympathybetweenus,asmadeusfast

friendsontheveryfirstdayofouracquaintance;andthe

attachmentgrewsoclosewhilewetravelledtogether,thatthe

ladyinsisted,atourjourney’send,onmymakingherhousemy

home.Ihadnoreasontorepenthavingformedsuchaconnection.

Neverwasthereawomanofamorecharmingcharacter.Onemight

stillconcludefromtheturnofhercountenance,andfromthe

spiritnotyetquenchedinhereyes,thatinheryouththecatgut

ofmanyaguitarmusthavebeenfrettedunderherwindow.Asa

proofofthis,shehadmanytrialswhatastateofwidowhoodwas;

herhusbandshadallbeenofnoblebirth,andherfinanceswere

flourishingontheaccumulationofherseveraljointures.

Amongotheradmirablequalities,shehadthatofnotvisiting

severelythefrailtiesofherownsex.WhenIletherintothe

secretofmine,sheenteredsowarmlyintomyinterests,asto

speakofZendonowithmoresinceritythangoodmanners.What

gracelessfellowsthesemenare!saidsheinatonefromwhich

onemightinferthatshehadmetwithsomelight-fingeredsteward

inthepassingofheraccounts.Theywouldnotbeworthpicking

offadunghill,ifonecoulddowithoutthem!Thereisalarge

fraternityofsorryscoundrelsintheworld,whomakeittheir

sporttogaintheheartsofwomen,andthendesertthem.There

is,however,oneconsolingcircumstance,mydearchild.According

toyouraccount,youarebynomeansboundfasttothatfaithless

Biscayan.Ifyourmarriagewithhimwassufficientlyformalto

saveyourcreditwiththeworld,ontheotherhand,itwas

contractedlooselyenoughtoadmitofyourtryingyourluckata

bettermatch,wheneveranopportunitymayfallinyourway.

IwentouteverydaywithDorothea,eithertochurch,ortovisit

amongherfriends;bothlikelyoccasionsofpickingupan

adventure;sothatIattractedthenoticeofseveralgentlemen.

Thereweresomeofthemwhohadamindtofeelhowthelandlay.

Theymadetheirproposalstomyvenerableprotectress;butthese

hadnotwherewithaltodefraytheexpensesofanestablishment,

andthoseweremereunfledgedboysunderage;aninsuperable

objection,whichleftmeverylittlemeritinturningadeafear

tothem.OnedayawhimseizedDorotheaandme,togoandseea

playatSeville.Thebillsannouncedafavouriteandstandard

piece:ElEmbaxadordeSi-mismo,writtenbyLopedeVega.

Amongtheactresseswhocameuponthestage,Idiscoveredoneof

myoldcronies.ItwasimpossibletohaveforgottenPhenicia,

thatbouncinggoodhumouredgirlwhomyouhaveseenas

Florimonde’swaiting-maid,andhavesuppedwithmorethanonceat

Arsenia’s.IwasawarethatPheniciahadleftMadridabovetwo

yearsago,buthadneverheardofherturningactress.Ilonged

soearnestlytoembraceher,thatthepieceappearedquite

tedious.Perhaps,too,theremightbesomefaultinthosewho

playedit,asbeingneithergoodenoughnorbadenoughtoafford

meentertainment.Forastomyowntemper,whichisthatof

seekingdiversionwhereverIcanfindit,Imustconfessthatan

actorsupremelyridiculousanswersmypurposejustaswellasthe

mostfinishedperformeroftheage.

Atlast,themomentIhadbeenwaitingforbeingarrived,namely

thedroppingofthecurtainonthisfavouriteandstandardpiece,

wewent,formywidowwouldgowithme,behindthescenes,where

wecaughtaglimpseofPhenicia,whowasplayingofftheamiable

andunaffectedsimpleton,andlisteningwithalltheprimnessof

studiedsimplicitytothesoftchirpingofayoungstagefinch,

whohadevidentlysufferedhimselftobecaughtinthebirdlime

ofherprofessionalormeretricioustalents.Nosoonerdidher

eyemeetmine,thanshequittedhimwithagenteelapology,ran

uptomewithopenarms,andlavisheduponmeallthe

demonstrationsofstrongattachmentimaginable.Ourexpressions

ofjoyatthisunexpectedmeetingwereindeedreciprocal;but

neithertimenorplaceadmittingofanyverycopiousindulgence

intheprivilegeofaskingquestions,weadjournedtillthe

followingday,withapromiseofrenewingourmutualinquiries

thickandthreefold,undertheshelterofherfriendlyroof.

Thepleasureoftalkingistheinextinguishablepassionofwoman,

coevalwiththeactofbreathing.Icouldnotgetawinkofsleep

allnight,fortheburningdesireofhavingagrapplewith

Phenicia,andclosinginuponherintheconflictofcuriosity.

Witnessallthepowerswhopresideovertattling,whetherthe

loveoflyinginbed,anotherpassionofwoman,preventedmefrom

gettingupandflyingtomyappointmentasearlyasgoodmanners

wouldallow.Shelivedwiththerestofthecompanyinalarge

ready-furnishedlodging.Afemaleattendantwhometmeat

entrance,onbeingrequestedtoshewmePhenicia’sapartment,led

thewayupstairstoagallery,alongwhichwererangedtenor

twelvesmallrooms,dividedonlybypartitionsofdealboards,

andinhabitedbythismerryband.Myconductressknockedata

doorwhichPheniciaopened;forhertonguewascruellyonthe

fidgettobeletloose,aswellasmyown.Weallowedourselves

notimefortheimpertinentceremonieswhichusuallyusherina

visit,butplungedatonceintoamostfuriouscareerof

loquacity.Itseemedasifweshouldhaveatightbouttogether.

Thereweresomanyinterrogatoriestobebandiedbackwardsand

forwards,thatquestionandanswerreboundedliketennis-balls,

onlywithtenfoldvelocity.

Afterhavingrelatedouradventureseachtoother,andinquired

intotheactualconditionofaffairs,PheniciaaskedmehowI

meanttoprovideformyself.Myreplywas,thatIpurposed,while

waitingforsomethingbetter,togetasituationwithsomeyoung

ladyofquality.Forshame,exclaimedmyotherself,youshall

notthinkofsuchathing.Isitpossible,mydarling,thatyou

shouldnotyetbedisgustedwithmenialservice?Areyounot

heartilysickofknockingundertothegoodorillpleasureof

others,ofbeingcap-in-handtoalltheircaprices,andafterall

tobeentertainedwiththatunchangeabletunecalledascolding,

inaword,tobeadownrightslave?Whydonotyoufollowmy

example,andturnyourthoughtstowardsthestage?Nothingcanbe

bettersuitedtopeopleofparts,whentheyhappennottobe

equallyfavouredinthearticlesofwealthandbirth.Itisa

sphereoflifewhichholdsamiddlerankbetweenthenobilityand

meretradespeople;aprofessionexemptedfromalltroublesome

restraint,andraisedfarabovethecommonprejudicesofhumble

anddecentSociety.Thepublicareourbankers,andwedrawupon

thematsight.Weliveinacontinualroundofecstacy,andspend

ourmoneytothefullasfastasweearnit.

Thetheatre(forshewentonatagreatrate)isfavourableabove

alltowomen.WhenIlivedwithFlorimonde,itisamiseryto

thinkofit,Iwasreducedtotakeupwiththesupernumerariesof

theprince’scompany;notasinglemanoffashionpaidtheleast

attentiontomyfigure.Howcamethatabout?Becausetheynever

gotaglimpseofitThefinestpictureintheworldmayescape

theadmirationoftheconnoisseurs,ifitisnotplacedina

properlight.ButsinceIhavebeensuitablyframedand

varnished,whichcouldonlyhappeninconsequenceofatheatrical

finish,whatarevolution!Thefinestyoungfellowsofallthe

townswepassthroughareshufflingatmyheels.Anactress

thereforehasallherlittlecomfortsabouther,without

deviatingfromthelineofherduty.Ifsheisdiscreet,bywhich

wemeanthatsheshouldnotadmitmorethanoneloverintoher

goodgracesatatime,herexemplaryconductiscriedupas

withoutaparallel.SheiscalledaveryNiobeforhercoldness;

andwhenshechangesherfavourite,sheisreprimandedas

slightlybytheworld,asalawfulwidowwhomarriesafewweeks

toosoonafterthedeathofherfirsthusband.If,however,the

widowshouldlookforluckinoddnumbers,andtaketoherselfa

third,thecontemptofallmankindispoureddownonherdevoted

head;sheisconsideredasamonsterofindelicacy;whereaswe

happierwomenaresomuchthemoreinvogue,asweaddtothe

listofourfavourites.Afterhavingbeenserveduptoahundred

differentlovers,somebatterednoblemanfindsusadaintydish

forhimself.

Doyoumeanthatbywayofnews?interruptedIassheutteredthe

lastsentiment.Doyouimaginemetobeignorantofthese

advantages?Ihaveoftenconnedthemoverinmymind,andthey

arebuttooalluringtoagirlofmycharacter.Theattractions

ofthestagewouldbeirresistible,wereinclinationall.But

somelittletalentisindispensable;andIhavenotaspark.I

havesometimesattemptedtorehearsepassagesfromplaysbefore

Arsenia.Shewasneversatisfiedwithmyperformance;andthat

disgustedmewiththeprofession.Youareeasilyputoutof

conceitwithyourself,repliedPhenicia.Donotyouknowthat

thesegreatactressesareveryapttobejealous?Withalltheir

vanity,theyareafraidlestsomenewerfaceshouldputthemout

ofcountenance.Inshort,IwouldnotbeguidedbyArseniaon

thatsubject;shedidnotgiveherrealopinion.Inmyjudgment,

andwithoutmeaningtoflatteryou,thetheatreisyournatural

element.Youhaveadmirablepowers,freeandgracefulaction,a

fine-tonedvoice,volubilityofdeclamation,andsuchaturnof

countenance!Ah!youlittlerogue!youwillbringalltheyoung

fellowsbehindthescenes,ifonceyoutaketotheboards!

Shepliedmewithmanyflatteringcomplimentsbesides;andmade

merecitesomelines,onlybywayofenablingmetoformmyown

judgmentastomytheatricalgenius.Nowthatshewasmycensor,

itseemedquiteanotherthing.Shepraisedmeuptotheskies,

andheldalltheactressesinMadridasmeremakeweightsinthe

scale.Aftersuchatestimony,itwouldhavebeeninexcusableto

hesitateaboutmyownmerit.Arseniastoodattainted,nay,

convictedofjealousyandtreachery.Therecouldbenoquestion

aboutmybeingeverythingthatwasdelightful.Twoplayers

happenedtodropinbyaccident,andPheniciaprevailedonmeto

repeatthelinesIhadalreadyspouted;theyfellintoasortof

enthusiastictrance,whencetheywererousedonlytolaunchout

ferventlyinadmirationofme.Literally,hadtheyallthreebeen

flatteringmeupforawager,theycouldnothaveadoptedamore

extravagantscaleofpanegyric.Mymodestywasnotproofagainst

suchpraisefromthosewhowerethemselvespraised.Ibeganto

thinkmyselfreallyworthyofsomething;andnowwasmywhole

heartandsoulturnedtowardsatheatricallife.

Sincethisisthecase,saidItoPhenicia,theaffairis

determined.Iwillfollowyouradviceandengageinyourcompany,

iftheywillacceptme.Myfriend,transportedwithjoyatthis

proposal,claspedmeinherarms;andhertwocompanionsseemed

nolessdelightedthanherselfatfindingmeinthathumour.It

wassettledthatIshouldattendthetheatreonthefollowingday

inthemorning,andexhibitbeforethecollectedbodythesame

sampleofmytalentasIhadjustdisplayed.IfIhadbought

goldenopinionsfromPheniciaandherfriends,theactorsin

generalwerestillmorecomplimentaryintheirjudgment,afterI

hadrecitedbuttwentylinesbeforethem.Theygavemean

engagementwiththeutmostwillingness.Thentherewasnothing

thoughtofbutmyfirstappearance.Tomakeitasstrikingas

possible,Ilaidoutallthemoneyremainingfromthesaleofmy

ring;andthoughmyfundswouldnotallowofbeingsplendidinmy

dress,Idiscoveredtheartofsubstitutingtasteforglitter,

andconvertingmypovertyintoanewgrace.

AtlengthIcameout.Whatclappingofhands!whatgeneral

admiration!Itwouldbespeakingfaintly,myfriend,totellyou

downrightthatthespectatorswereallinanecstacy.Youmust

haveheardwithyourownearswhatanoiseImadeatSeville,to

believeit.Thewholetalkofthetownwasaboutme,andthe

housewascrowdedforthreeweekssuccessively;sothatthis

noveltyrestoredthetheatretoitspopularity,whenitwas

evidentlybeginningtodecline.ThusdidIcomeuponthestage,

andstepintopublicfavouratonce.Buttocomeuponthestage

withsuchdistinction,isgenerallyapreludetocominguponthe

town;oratleasttoputtingone’sselfupatauctiontothebest

bidder.Twentysparksofallages,fromseventeentoseventy,

wereonthelistofcandidates,andwouldhavewornmeinmy

newestgloss.HadIfollowedmyowninclination,Ishouldhave

chosentheyoungest,andthemostofalady’sman;butinour

profession,interestandambitionmustbearthesway,tillwe

havefeatheredournest;thatisasinvariablearuleasanyin

thepromptbook.Onthisprinciple,DonAmbrosiodeNisana,aman

inwhomageanduglinesshaddonetheirworst,butrich,

generous,andoneofthemostpowerfulnoblemeninAndalusia,had

therefusalofthebargain.Itistruethathepaidhandsomely

forit.Hetookafinehouseforme,furnishedintheextremeof

magnificence,allowedmeamancookofthefirsteminence,two

footmen,alady’smaid,andathousandducatsamonthformy

personalexpenses.Addtoallthisarichwardrobe,andan

elegantassortmentofjewels.

Whatarevolutioninmyaffairs!Mypoorbrainwascompletely

turned.Icouldnotbelievemyselftobethesameperson.No

wonderifgirlssoonforgetthemeannessandmiserywhencesome

manofqualityhasrescuedtheminafitofcaprice.My

confessionshallbewithoutreserve:publicapplause,flattering

speechesbuzzedaboutoneveryside,andDonAmbrosio’spassion

kindledsuchaflameofself-conceitaskeptmeinacontinual

fermentofextravagance.Iconsideredmytalentsasapatentof

nobility.Iputonthewomanoffashion;andbecomingascharyas

Ihadhithertobeenlavishofmyamorouschallengers,determined

tolooknolowerthandukes,counts,ormarquises.

MylordofNisanabroughtsomeofhisfriendstosupwithme

everyeveningItwasmycaretoinvitethebestcompanionsamong

ouractresses,andweworeawayagoodpartofthenightin

laughinganddrinking.Ifellinverykindlywithsodeliciousa

life;butitlastedonlysixmonths.Menofrankareapttobe

whimsical;butforthatfault,theywouldbetooheavenly.Don

AmbrosiodesertedmeforayoungcoquettefromGrenada,whohad

justbroughtaprettypersontotheSevillemarket,andknewhow

tosetoffherwarestothebestadvantage.ButIdidnotfret

afterhimmorethanfour-andtwentyhours,Hisplacewassupplied

byayoungfellowoftwo-and-twenty,DonLewisd’Alcacer,with

whomfewSpaniardscouldvieinpointoffaceandfigure.

Youwillaskme,doubtless,anditisnaturaltodoso,whyI

selectedsogreenasprigofnobilityformyparamour,whenmy

ownexperiencesostronglydissuadedfromsuchachoice.But,

besidesthatDonLewishadneitherfathernormother,andwas

alreadyinpossessionofhisfortune,youaretoknowthatthere

isnodangerofdisagreeableconsequencesattachingtoanybut

girlsinaservileconditionoflife,orthoseunfortunateloose

fishwhoaregameforeverysportsman.Ladiesofourprofession

areprivilegedpersons;weletoffourcharmslikearocket,and

arenotanswerableforthedamagewheretheyfall;somuchthe

worseforthosefamilieswhoseheirswesetinablaze.

AsforAlcacerandmyself,weweresostronglyattachedtoone

another,thatIverilybelieve,loveneveryetdidsuchexecution

aswhenhetookaimatustwo.Ourpassionwasofsuchaviolent

nature,thatweseemedtobeundertheinfluenceofsomespell.

Thosewhoknewhowwellweweretogether,thoughtusthehappiest

pairintheworld;butwe,whoknewbest,foundourselvesthe

mostmiserable.ThoughDonLewishadasfineanoutsideasever

felltothelotofman,hewasatthesametimesojealous,that

therewasnolivingforvexationathisunfoundedsurmises.It

wasofnouse,knowinghisweaknessandhumouringit,tolayan

embargoonmylooks,ifeveramalecreaturepeepedintoharbour;

hissuspicioustemper,seldomatalossforsomecrimetoimpute,

renderedmyarmedneutralityofnoavail.Ourmosttendermoments

hadalwaysaspiceofwrangling.Therewasnostandingthebrunt

ofit;patiencecouldholdoutnolongeroneitherside,andwe

quarrelledmorepeaceablythanwehadloved.Couldyoubelieve

thatthelastdayofourbeingtogetherwasthehappiest?both

equallyweariedoutbytheperpetualrecurrenceofunpleasant

circumstances,wegavealoosetoourtransportswhenweembraced

forthelasttime.Wewereliketwowretchedcaptives,breathing

thefreshairoflibertyafterallthehorrorsofourprison-house.

Sincethatadventure,Ihavewornabreastplateagainstthe

littlearcher.Nomoreamorousnonsenseforme,atleasttoa

troublesomeexcess!Itisquiteoutofourline,tosighand

complainlikeArcadianshepherdesses.Thoseshouldnevergiveway

toapassioninprivate,whoholdituptoridiculebeforethe

public.

Whiletheseeventswerepassinginmydomesticestablishment,

Famehadnothunghertrumpetbreathlessonthewillows;she

spreaditaboutuniversallythatIwasaninimitableactress.

Thatcelestialtattler,thoughbankrupttimesoutofnumber,

stillcontrivestorevivehercredit;thecomediansofGrenada

thereforewrotetooffermeanengagementintheircompany;and

bywayofevidencethattheproposalwasnottobescorned,they

sentmeastatementoftheirdailyreceiptsanddisbursements,

withtheirterms,whichseemedtobeadvantageous.Thatbeingthe

case,Iclosed,thoughgrievedinmyhearttopartwithPhenicia

andDorothea,whomIlovedaswellaswomaniscapableofloving

woman.Ileftthefirstlaudablyemployedinmeltingtheplateof

alittlehagglinggoldsmith,whosevanitysofargotthebetter

ofhisavaricethathemustneedshaveatheatricalheroinefor

hismistress.Iforgottotellyouthatonmytranslationtothe

stage,frommerewhim,IchangedthenameofLauratothatof

Estella;anditwasunderthelatternamethatItookthis

engagementatGrenada.

MyfirstappearancewasnolesssuccessfulherethanatSeville;

andIsoonfeltmyselfwaftedalongbythesighsofmyadmirers.

Butresolvingnottofavouranyexceptonhonourableterms,I

keptaguardofmodestyinmyintercoursewiththem,whichthrew

dustintheireyes.Nevertheless,nottobethedupeofvirtues

whichpayveryindifferently,andwerenotexactlyathomein

theirnewmansion,Iwasbalancingwhetherornottotakeupwith

ayoungfellowofmeanextraction,whohadaplaceunder

government,andassumedthestyleofagentlemaninvirtueofhis

office,withagoodtableandhandsomeequipage,whenIsawthe

MarquisdeMarialvaforthefirsttime.ThisPortuguesenobleman,

travellingoverSpainfrommerecuriosity,stoppedatGrenadaas

hepassedthroughit.Hecametotheplay.Ididnotperformthat

evening.Hisexaminationoftheactresseswasveryparticular,

andhefoundonetohisliking.Theiracquaintancecommencedon

theverynextday;andthedefinitivetreatywasverynearly

concludedwhenIappeareduponthestage.Whatwithsomepersonal

graces,andnolittleaffectationinsettingthemoff,the

weathercockveeredaboutallonasudden;myPortuguesewasmine

andmineonlytilldeathdouspart.Yet,sincethetruthmustbe

told,Iknewperfectlythatmysisterofthesockandbuskinhad

entrappedthisnobleman,andsparednopainstochouseheroutof

herprize;tomysuccessyouareyourselfawitness.Shebearsme

nosmallgrudgeonthataccount;butthethingcouldnotbe

avoided.Sheoughttoreflectthatitisthewayofallfemale

flesh;thatthedearestfriendsplayoffthesametrickuponone

another,andputagoodfaceuponitintothebargain.

CH.VIII.—ThereceptionofGilBlasamongtheplayersat

Grenada;andanotheroldacquaintancepickedupinthegreen-room.

JUSTasLaurawasfinishingherstory,therecameinanold

actresswholivedinherneighbourhood,andwascometotakeher

tothetheatreasshepassedby.Thisvenerabletutelaryofthe

stagewasadmirablyfittedtoplaysomesuperannuatedstrumpet

amongtheheathengoddessesinapantomime.Mysisterwasnot

remissinintroducingherbrothertothatstaleoldharridan,

whereuponaprofusionofcomplimentswerebandiedaboutonboth

sides.

Ileftthemtogether,tellingthesteward’srelictthatIwould

joinheragainattheplayhouse,assoonasIhadsentmybaggage

totheMarquisdeMarialva’s,towhoseresidenceshedirectedme.

FirstIwenttotheroomIhadhired,whence,afterhaving

settledwithmylandlady,Irepairedwithaporterwhocarriedmy

luggagetoalargeready-furnishedhouse,wheremynewmasterwas

quartered.AtthedoorImethissteward,whoaskedmeifIwas

nottheladyEstella’sbrother.Iansweredintheaffirmative.

Thenyouarewelcome,Signorcavalier,repliedhe.TheMarquisde

Marialva,whosestewardIhavethehonourtobe,hascommissioned

metoreceiveyouproperly.Thereisaroomgotreadyforyou;I

willshewyouthewaytoit,ifyouplease,thatyoumaybequite

athome.Hetookmeuptothetopofthehouse,andthrustme

intososmallaroom,thataverynarrowbed,achestofdrawers,

andtwochairscompletelyfilledit.Thiswasmyapartment.You

willnothavemuchspareroom,saidmyconductor,butasaset-off,IpromiseyouthatyoushallbesuperblylodgedatLisbon.I

lockedupmyportmanteauinthewardrobeandputthekeyinmy

pocket,askingatthesametimewhatwasthehourofsupper.The

answerwas,thathislordshipseldomsuppedathome,butallowed

eachservantamonthlysumforboardwages.Iputseveralother

questions,andlearntthattheMarquis’speoplewereahappyset

ofidlefellows.Afteraconversationshortandsweet,Ileftthe

stewardtogoandlookforLaura,reflectingmuchtomyown

satisfactiononthehappyomensIdrewfromtheopeningofmynew

situation.

AssoonasIgottotheplayhousedoor,andmentionedmynameas

Estella’sbrother,therewasfreeadmissionatonce.Youmight

haveobservedtheforwardnessoftheguardstomakewayforme,

justasifIhadbeenoneofthemostconsiderablenoblemenin

Grenada.Allthesupernumeraries,door-keepers,andreceiversof

checkswhomIencounteredinmyprogress,mademetheirverybest

bows.ButwhatIshouldlikebesttogivethereaderanideaof,

istheseriousreceptionwhichthemerryvagrantsgavemeinthe

green-room,whereIfoundthewholedramatispersonaready

dressed,andonthepointofdrawingupthecurtain.Theactors

andactresses,towhomLauraintroducedme,felluponmewithout

mercy.Themenwerequitetroublesomewiththeirgreetings;and

thewomen,nottobeoutdone,laidtheirplasteredfaces

alongsideofmine,tilltheycovereditwithavillanouscompound

ofredandwhite.Noonechoosingtobethelastinmakingme

welcome,theyallpaidtheircomplimentsinabreath.AEolus

himself,answeringfromallthepointsofthecompassatonce,

wouldnothavebeenamatchforthem:butmysisterwas;forthe

loanofhertonguewasalwaysattheserviceofafriend,andshe

broughtmecompletelyoutofdebt.

ButIdidnotgetclearoffwiththesqueezesoftheprincipal

performers.Thecivilitiesofthescene-painters,theband,the

prompter,thecandle-snuffer,andthecall-boyweretobeendured

withpatience;alltheunderstrappersinthetheatrecametosee

merunthegauntlet.Onewouldhavesupposedone’sselfina

foundlinghospital,andthattheyhadnoneofthemeverknown

whatsortofanimalsbrothersandsisterswere.

Inthemeantimetheplaybegan.Somegentlemenwhowerebehind

thescenes,thenrantogetseatsinthefrontofthehouse;for

mypart,feelingmyselfquiteathome,Icontinuedin

conversationwiththoseoftheactorswhowerewaitingtogoon.

AmongthenumbertherewasonewhomtheycalledMelchior.The

namestruckme.Ilookedhardatthepersonwhoansweredtoit,

andthoughtIhadseenhimsomewhere.AtlastIrecollectedthat

itwasMelchiorZapata,apoorstrollingplayer,whohasbeen

describedinthefirstvolumeofthistruehistory,assoaking

hiscrustsinthepureelement.

Iimmediatelytookhimaside,andsaid:Iammuchmistakenifyou

arenotthatSignorMelchiorwithwhomIhadthehonourof

breakfastingonedaybythemarginofaclearfountain,between

ValladolidandSegovia.Iwaswithajourneymanbarber.Wehad

someprovisionswithuswhichweclubbedwithyours,andall

threepartookofalittleruralfeast,towhichwitandanecdote

gaveadditionalrelish.Zapatabethoughthimforaminuteortwo,

andthenanswered:Youtellmeofacircumstancewhichoften

sincecameacrossmymind.Ihadthenjustbeentryingmyfortune

atMadrid,andwasreturningtoZamora.Irecollectperfectly

thatmyaffairswerealittleoutatelbows.Irecollectittoo,

repliedI,bythetokenofadoubletwhichyouwore,linedwith

playbills.NeitherhaveIforgottenthatyoucomplainedof

havingawifecursedwithincorruptiblechastity.Oh!that

misfortunehasfounditsremedylongago,saidZapata,shaking

hisears.Byallthepowersofwomanhood,thejadehas

effectuallyreformedthatvirtue,andgivenmeawarmerliningto

mydoublet.

Iwasgoingtocongratulatehimonhiswife’shavingshewnso

muchsense,whenhewasobligedtoleavemeandgoonthestage.

Beingcurioustoknowwhatsortofananimalhiswifewas,Iwent

uptoanactoranddesiredhimtopointherout.Hedidso,

sayingatthesametime:Theresheis,itisNarcissa;the

prettiestofallourwomenexceptyoursister.Iconcludedthat

thismustbetheactressinwhosefavourtheMarquisdeMarialva

haddeclaredbeforemeetingwithhisEstella;andmyconjecture

wasbuttoocorrect.AftertheplayIattendedLaurahome,where

Isawseveralcookspreparingahandsomeentertainment.Youmay

suphere,saidshe.Iwilldonosuchthing,answeredI;the

marquisperhapswillliketobealonewithyou.Notatall,

repliedshe;heiscomingwithtwoofhisownfriendsandoneof

ourgentlemen;youwilljustmakethesixth,Youknowthatinour

freeandeasywaythereisnoimproprietyinsecretariessitting

downattablewiththeirmasters.Verytrue,saidI:butitis

rathertoosoontoassumetheprivilegeofafavourite.Imust

firstgetemployedinsomeconfidentialcommission,andthenlay

inmyclaimtothathonourabledistinction.Judgingittobeso

best,IwentoutofLaura’shouse,andgotbacktomyinn,

whitherIreckonedonrepairingeveryday,sincemymasterhadno

regularestablishment.

CH.IX.—Anextraordinarycompanionatsupper;andanaccount

oftheirconversation.

IREMARKEDinthecoffee-roomasortofanoldmonk,habitedin

coarsegreycloth,atsupperquitealoneinacorner.Iwentand

satoppositetohimoutofcuriosity;weexchangedacivilbow,

andheshewedhimselftobequiteaswellbredasIwas,

notwithstandingmylayeducation.Mycommonswerebroughtme,and

Ifelltowithaverycatholicappetite.WhileIwaseating,my

tonguewasmute,butmyeyesglancedbysnatchestowardsthis

singularcharacter,andalwayscaughthisatthesameemployment.

Likingbettertostarethanbestaredat,Iaddressedmyspeech

tohimthus:Pray,father,haveweeverbyanychancemet

anywherebuthere?Youpeeratmeasifyouscarcelyknewwhether

Iwasanacquaintanceorastranger.Heansweredgravely:IfI

lookatyouwithfixedattention,itisonlytoadmirethe

prodigiousvarietyofadventureswhicharechronicledinthe

featuresofyourface.Itshouldseem,saidIinajokingtone,

asifyourreverencewassomethingofaphysiognomist.Farmore

deeplyimbuedinsciencethanamerephysiognomist,answeredthe

monk,Ifoundpropheciesonmyobservationswhichhaveneverbeen

beliedbytheevent.Myskillinpalmistryisnoless,andIwill

setmyoraclesagainstthesurestofantiquity,aftercomparing

theinspectionofthehandwiththatoftheface.

Thoughthisoldmanhadalltheappearanceofprofoundwisdom,

histalkwassolikethatofamadman,thatIcouldnothelp

laughingathimoutright.Sofarfrombeingoffendedatmywant

ofmanners,hesmiledatit,andwentontothefollowingeffect,

afterrunninghiseyeroundthecoffee-room,tobeassuredthat

therewerenolisteners:Iamnotsurprisedatfindingyouso

prejudicedagainsttwoscienceswhichpassatthistimeofday

formerefrivolity;thelongandpainfulstudytheyrequire

disheartensthelearned,whoturntheirbacksuponthem,andthen

swearthattheyarefablesoutofdisgustathavingmissedtheir

attainment.Formypart,Iamnottobefrightenedbythe

darknesswhichenvelopesthem,anymorethanbythedifficulties

whichareperpetualstumbling-blocksinthepursuitofchemical

discoveries,andinthemarvellousartoftransmutingbaser

metalsintogold.

ButIdoflattermyself,pursuedhe,lookingsteadfastlyatme,

thatIamaddressingayounggentlemanofgoodsense,towhommy

systemswillnotappearaltogetherinthelightofidledreams.A

sampleofmyskillwilldisposeyoubetterthanthemostsubtle

argumentstopassafavourablejudgmentonmypretensions.After

talkinginthismannerhedrewfromhispocketaphialfullofa

lively-lookingredliquor,onwhichheexpatiatedthus:Hereis

anelixirwhichIhavedistilledthismorningfromthejuicesof

certainplants;forIhaveemployedalmostmywholelife,like

Democritus,infindingoutthepropertiesofsimplesand

minerals.Youshallmaketrialofitsvirtue.Thewineweare

drinkingwithoursupperisverybad;henceforthitwillbecome

excellent.Atthesametimeheputtwodropsofhiselixirinto

mybottle,whichmademywinemoredeliciousthanthechoicest

vintagesofSpain.

Themarvellousstrikestheimagination;andwhenoncethat

facultyisenlisted,judgmentisturnedadrift.Delightedwithso

gloriousasecret,andpersuadedthathemusthaveout-devilled

thedevilbeforehecouldhavegotatit,Icriedoutina

paroxysmofadmiration:Oreverendfather!prytheeforgiveyour

servantifhetookyouatfirstforanoldblockhead.Inow

abjuremyerror.Thereisnoneedtolookfurthertobeassured

thatitdependsonlyonyourownwilltoturnanironbarintoa

wedgeofgoldinthetwinklingofaneye.HowhappyshouldIbe

wereImasterofthatadmirablescience!Heavenpreserveyoufrom

everacquiringit,interruptedtheoldmanwithadeepsigh.You

knownot,myson,whatafatalpossessionyoucovet.Insteadof

envying,ratherpityme,forhavingtakensuchinfinitepainsto

bemadeunhappy.Iamalwaysdisturbedinmind.Ifeara

discovery;andthenperpetualimprisonmentwouldbetherewardof

allmylabours.Inthisapprehension,Ileadavagabondlife,

sometimesdisguisedasapriestormonk,sometimesasagentle

manorapeasant.Whereisthebenefitofknowinghowto

manufacturegoldonsuchterms?Arenotthegoodsofthisworld

downrightmiserytothosewhocannotenjoythemintranquillity?

Whatyousayappearstomeverysensible,saidItothe

philosopher.Thereisnothinglikelivingatone’sease.Youhave

ridmeofallhankeringafterthephilosopher’sstone.Iwill

restsatisfiedwithlearningfromyoumyfuturedestiny.Withall

myheart,mygoodlad,answeredhe.Ihavealreadymademy

remarksuponyourfeatures;nowletmeseeyourhand.Igaveit

himwithaconfidencewhichwilldomypenetrationbutlittle

creditintheesteemofsomereaders.Heexamineditvery

attentively,andthenpronounced,asinaraptureofinspiration:

Ah!whattransitionsfrompaintopleasure,andfrompleasureto

pain!Whatawhimsicalalternationofgoodandevilchances!But

youhavealreadyexperiencedthelargestshareofyourallotted

reverses.Youhavebutfewmoretidesofmisfortunetostem,and

thenagreatlordwillcontriveforyouaneligiblefate,which

shallnotbesubjecttochange.

AfterhavingassuredmethatImightdependonhisprediction,he

bademefarewellandwentoutoftheinn,leavingmeindeep

meditationonthethingsIhadjustheard.Therecouldbeno

doubtoftheMarquisdeMarialvabeingthegreatlordin

question;andconsequentlynothingappearedmorewithintheverge

ofpossibilitythantheaccomplishmentoftheoracle.Butthough

therehadnotbeentheslightestlikelihood,thatwouldhavebeen

nohindrancetogivingtheimpostormonkunboundedcredit,since

hiselixirhadtransmutedmysourincredulityintothemost

tractabledigestionofhisfalsehoods.Thatnothingmightbe

wantingonmysidetoplayintothehandsofmyforebodedluck,I

determinedtoattachmyselfmorecloselytothemarquisthanI

hadeverdonetoanyofmymasters.Havingtakenthisresolution,

Iwenthomeinunusuallyhighspirits;neverdidfoolishwoman

descendinbetterhumourfromthegarretofanotherfoolishwoman

whohadtoldherfortune.

CH.X.—TheMarquisdeMarialvagivesacommissiontoGilBlas.

Thatfaithfulsecretaryacquitshimselfofitasshallbe

related.

THEmarquiswasnotyetreturnedfromhistheatricalparty,andI

foundhisupperservantsplayingatcardsinhisapartmentwhile

theywerewaitingforhisarrival.Igottobesociablewith

them;andweamusedourselveswithjocularconversationtilltwo

o’clockinthemorning,whenourmasterarrived.Hewasalittle

surprisedatseeingme,andsaidwithanairofkindnesswhich

mademeconcludethathecamehomeverywellsatisfiedwithhis

evening:Howisthis,GilBlas?Areyounotgonetobedyet?I

answeredthatIwishedtoknowfirstwhetherhehadanycommands

forme.Probably,repliedhe,Imayhaveacommissiontogiveyou

to-morrowmorning;butitwillbetimeenoughthentoacquaint

youwithmywishes.Gotoyourownroom;andhenceforward

rememberthatIdispensewithyourattendanceatbed-time;my

otherservantsaresufficientforthatoccasion.

Afterthishint,whichwasmuchtomysatisfactioninthemain,

sinceitsparedmeaslaverywhichIshouldhavefeltvery

unpleasantlyattimes,Ileftthemarquisinhisapartment,and

withdrewtomygarret.Iwenttobed.Notbeingabletosleep,it

seemedgoodtofollowthecounselofPythagoras,andtoexamine

alltheactionsofthedaybythetestofreason;toreprimand

severelywhathadbeendoneamiss,andifanythinghadbeendone

well,torejoiceinit.

Onlookingintotheday-bookofmyconscience,thebalancewas

notsufficientlyinmyfavourtokeepmeingoodhumourwith

myself.IfeltremorseathavinglentmyselftoLaura’s

imposition.Itwasinvaintourge,inselfdefence,thatIcould

not,withanydecency,givethelietoagirlwhohadnoobject

inviewbuttodomeapleasure,andthatIwasinsomesort

underthenecessityofbecominganaccompliceinthefraud.This

wasapaltryexcuseinthedarknessofthenight,forIpleaded

againstmyselfthatatalleventsthemattershouldbepushedno

further,andthatitwasthesummitofimpudencetoremainupon

theestablishmentofanoblemanwhoseconfidenceIsoillrepaid.

Inshort,afteraseveretrial,itwasagreedinmyownbreast,

thatIwasverylittleshortofanarrantknave.

Buttohavedonewiththemoralityoftheact,andpassontothe

probableissue,itwasevidentlyplayingadesperategame,to

cozenamanofconsequencewhomightbeenabled,asaninstrument

forthevisitationofmysinsperhaps,todetecttheimposturein

itsveryinfancy.Areflectionatoncesoprudentandsovirtuous

actedasarefrigeratoronmyspirits;butvisionsofpleasure

andofinterestsoonraisedthemagainabovethefreezingpoint.

Besides,theprophecyofthemanwiththeelixirwouldhavebeen

enoughtoputmeinheartoncemore.Ithereforegavemyselfup

totheindulgenceofthemostagreeablefancies.Alltherulesof

arithmeticfromsimpleadditiontocompoundinterestweresetin

array,tocastupwhatsummysalarywouldamounttoattheend

oftenyears’service.Thentherewasalargeallowancefor

presentsandgratuitiesfrommymaster,whoseliberaldisposition

accordingadmirablywithmyliberaldesires,myimaginationgrew

quitefantastical,andextendedthelandmarksofmyfortuneover

innumerableacresofunsubstantialterritory.Sleepovertookme

inthecalculation,andraisedamagnificentaerialmansionon

theestatewhereanewraceofgrandeeswastooriginate.

Igotupthenextmorningabouteighto’clocktogoandreceive

mypatron’sorders;butasIwasopeningmydoortogoout,what

wasmysurpriseatmeetinghiminhiswrapping-gownandnightcap.Hewasquitealone.GilBlas,saidhe,onpartingwithyour

sisterlastnight,Ipromisedtopassthismorningwithher;but

anaffairofconsequencewillnotadmitofmykeepingmyword.Go

andassureherfrommethatIamdeeplymortifiedatthe

disappointment,butthatIshallcertainlysupwithherto-night.

Thatisnotall,addedhe,puttingapurseintomyhandsanda

littleshagreencasesetroundwithdiamonds;carryhermy

portrait,andkeepthispurseoffiftypistoles,whichIgiveyou

asamarkofmyearly-conceivedfriendship.Itookthepicturein

onehand,andintheotherthepursetowhichIwassolittle

entitled.IputmybestlegforemostinmywaytoLaura,

mutteringtomyselfinthetransportsofexcessivejoy:Good!the

prophecyisaccomplishedinthetwinklingofaneye.Whata

windfalltobethebrotherofagirlsofullofbeautyand

attraction!Itisapitythecreditattachedtotherelationship

isnotcommensuratewiththelucreandthecomfort.

Laura,unlikemostwomeninherprofession,hadahabitofearly

rising.Icaughtherathertoilette,where,whilewaitingfor

herillustriousforeigner,shewasengraftingonhernatural

beautyalltheadventitiouscharmswhichthecosmeticartcould

supply.LovelyEstella,saidI,onaccostingher,thouabsolute

lodestoneofthetramontanes,Imaynowsitdownattablewithmy

master,sincehehashonouredmewithacommissionwhichgivesme

thatprerogative,andwhichIamjustcometofulfil.Hecannot

havethepleasureofwaitingonyouthismorning,ashehad

purposed;buttomakeyouamendsforthedisappointment,hewill

supherethisevening,andsendsyouhispicture;whichtoall

appearanceisenclosedinsomethingmorevaluablethanitself.

Iputtheboxintoherhandatonce;andthelivelysparklingof

thebrilliantswhichencompasseditmadehereyessparkleandher

mouthwater.Sheopeneditoutofmerecuriosity,looked

carelesslyatthepaintingaspeopleperformadutyforwhich

theyhavelittlerelish,thenshutit,andoncemorefell

greedilyonthejewellery.Theirbeautymadehereloquent;and

shesaidtomewiththesmileofasatirist—Thesearecopies

whichthosemercenarythingscalledactressesvaluemuchmore

highlythanoriginals.

InextacquaintedherthatthegenerousPortuguese,whengiving

mechargeoftheportrait,recommendedittomycarebyapurse

offiftypistoles.Ibegyouwillacceptofmycongratulations,

saidshe;thisnoblemanbeginswhereitisevenuncommonfor

otherstoleaveoff.Itistoyou,mydivinecreature,answered

I,thatthispresentisowing;themarquisonlymadeitonthe

scoreofnaturalaffection.Icouldbewellpleased,repliedshe,

thatheweretomakeyouascoresuchpresentseveryday.I

cannotexpressinwhatextravaganceyouaredeartome.Fromthe

firstmomentofourmeeting,Ibecameattachedtoyoubyso

strongatie,astimehasnotbeenabletodissolve.WhenIlost

youatMadrid,Ididnotdespairoffindingyouagain;and

yesterday,onyoursuddenappearance,Ireceivedyoulikea

deodand.Inaword,myfriend,heavenhascreatedusforone

another.Youshallbemyhusband,butwemustgetplentyofmoney

inthefirstinstance.Ishalljustlendmyselfouttothreeor

foursillyfellowsmore,andthenyoumaylivelikeagentleman

onyourmeans.

Ithankedherinthemostappropriatetermsforsuchaninstance

ofextremecondescensiononmybehalf,andwegotinsensiblyinto

aconversationwhichlastedtillnoon.AtthathourIwithdrew,

togoandgivemymasteranaccountofthemannerinwhichhis

presentwasreceived.ThoughLaurahadgivenmenoinstructions

thereupon,Iwasnotremissincomposingafinecomplimentonmy

way,withwhichImeanttolaunchoutonherpan;butitwasjust

somuchflashinthepan.For,whenIgothomethemarquiswas

goneout;andthefateshaddecreedthatIshouldneverseehim

more,forreasonswhichwillbemethodicallystatedinthe

succeedingchapter.

CH.XI.—AthunderbolttoGilBlas.

IREPAIREDtomyinn,wheremeetingwithtwomenofcompanionable

talents,Idinedandsatattablewiththemtilltheplaybegan.

Weparted;theyastheirbusinessanddesirepointedthem;and,

formyownpart,mybentwastowardsthetheatre.Itmaybe

propertoobservebytheway,thatIhadallpossiblereasonto

beinagoodhumour.Theconversationwithmychancecompanions

hadbeenjoyousintheextreme;thecolourofmyfortunewasgay

andanimating;yetforallthatIcouldnothelpgivingwayto

melancholy,withouteitherknowingwhy,orbeingabletoreason

myselfoutofit.Itwasdoubtlessapropheticwarningofthe

misfortunewhichthreatenedme.

AsIenteredthegreen-room,MelchiorZapatacameup,andtoldme

inalowvoicetofollowhim.Heledmetoanunfrequentedpart

ofthehouse,andopenedhisbusinessthus—Worthysir,Imake

itapointofconsciencetogiveyouaveryseriouswarning.You

areawarethattheMarquisdeMarialvahadatfirsttakenafancy

toNarcissa,mywife;hehadevengonesofarastofixadayfor

tryingtherelishofmyrib,whenthatcockatriceEstella

contrivedtoflyblowthebilloffare,andtransferthebanquet

toherownuntaintedcharms.Judgethen,whetheranactresscan

begulledinsteadofgulling,andpreservethesweetnessofher

temper.Mywifehastakenitdeeplytoheart,andthereisno

speciesofrevengetowhichshewouldnothaverecourse.Afine

opportunityhasoffered.Yesterday,ifyourecollect,allour

supernumerarieswerecrowdingtogethertoseeyou.Thedeputy

candle-snuffertoldsomeoftheinferiorcomediansthathe

recollectedyouperfectlywell,andthatyoumightbeanything

butEstella’sbrother.

Thisreport,addedMelchior,cametoNarcissa’searsto-day:she

lostnotimeinquestioningtheauthor;andthatgrubofthe

interiorstoodtothewholestory.Hesaysthatheknewyouas

Arsenia’sservant,whenEstellawaitedonheratMadridunderthe

nameofLaura.Mywife,fullofgleeatthisdiscovery,meansto

acquainttheMarquisdeMarialvawithit,whenhecomestothe

playthisevening;sotakeyourmeasuresaccordingly.Ifyouare

notEstella’sbrotheringoodearnest,Iwouldadviseyouasa

friend,andonthescoreofoldacquaintance,tomakeyourescape

whileyourskiniswhole.Narcissa,satisfiedinhertendermercy

withonlyonevictim,andthatofherownsex,hasallowedmeto

giveyouthisnotice,thatyoumayoutrunyourillluck.

Itwouldhavebeenwasteofwordstopressthesubjectfarther.I

returnedthanksforthecautiontothisfretterofhishour,who

sawbymyterrifiedaspectthatIwasnotthemantogivethe

deputycandle-snufferthelie.Ididnotfeeltheleast

temptationtocarrymydangerousvaloursuchalength.Ihadnot

eventhehearttogoandbidfarewelltoLaura,forfearshe

shouldinsistonmekeepingupthefarce.Icouldeasilyconceive

thatsoexcellentanactressmightgetoutofthescrapewith

flyingcolours;butthereseemedtobenothingformeshortofa

swingeingcastigation;andIwasnotsofargoneinloveasto

standbymysweetheartattheriskofmyownperson.Ithoughtof

nothingbutaprecipitateretreatwithmyhouseholdgods,or

rathergoods,ifsuchatrumperycollectionofindividual

propertymightbecalledso.Idisappearedfromtheplayhousein

thetwinklingofaneye;andinlesstimethanitwouldhave

takentoconfessmysins,wasmyportmanteaucarriedoffand

safelylodgedwithamuleteerwhowastosetoutforToledoat

threeo’clocknextmorning.Icouldhavewishedmyselfalready

withtheCountdePolan,whosehospitableroofseemedmyonly

safeasylum.ButIwasnotthereyet;anditwasimpossibleto

thinkwithoutdreadofthetimeremainingtobepassedinatown

whereIwasafraidtheywouldhuntmeoutwithoutgivingmea

night’slaw.

Thesmellofsupperdrewmetomyinnnotwithstanding;thoughI

wasasuneasyasadebtorwhoknowsthatawritisoutagainst

him.Mystomach,Ibelieve,wasnotsufficientlywellknitthat

eveningformysuppertoplayitspartasitshoulddo.The

miserablesportoffear,Iwatchedallthepeoplewhocameinto

thecoffee-room,andwheneverbychancetheycarriedagallowsin

theirphysiognomy,whichisnouncommonensigninsuchplacesof

resort,Ishudderedwithhorridforebodings.Afterhavingsupped

thesupperofthedamned,Igotupfromtableandreturnedtomy

carrier’shouse,whereIthrewmyselfonsomecleanstrawtillit

wastimetosetout.

Mypatiencewaswelltriedduringthatinterval;forathousand

unpleasantthoughtsattackedmeinalldirections.IfIdozednow

andthen,theenragedmarquisstoodbeforeme,poundingLaura’s

fairfacetoajellywithhisfist,andturningherwholehouse

outatwindow;ortocomenearerhome,Iheardhimgiving

directionsformydeathundertheoperationofacudgel.Atsuch

avisionIstartedoutofmysleep,andwaking,whichisusually

sopleasantafterafrightfuldream,inspiredmewithmorehorror

thaneventhefictionsofmyentrancedfancy.

Happilythemuleteerdeliveredmefromsodireapurgatory,by

comingtoacquaintmethathismuleswereready.Iwas

immediatelyonmylegs,andsetoutradicallycured,forwhich

heavenhasmybestthanks,ofLauraandtheoccultsciences.As

wegotfartherfromGrenada,mymindrecovereditstone.Ibegan

chattingwiththemuleteer,laughedathisdrollstories,and

insensiblylostallmyapprehensions.Isleptundisturbedat

Ubeda,wherewelaythefirstnight,andonthefourthdaywegot

toToledo.MyfirstcarewastoinformmyselfoftheCountde

Polan’sresidence,whitherIrepairedunderthefullpersuasion

thathewouldnotsuffermetolodgeelsewhere.ButIreckoned

withoutmyhost.Therewasnooneathomebutapersontotake

careofthehouse,whotoldmethathismasterwasjustgoneto

thecastleofLeyva,havingbeensentforonaccountof

Seraphina’sdangerousillness.

Thecount’sabsencewasaltogetherunexpected:herewasnolonger

anyinducementtostayatToledo,andallmyplanswerechanged

atonce.FindingmyselfsonearMadrid,Iresolvedtogothither.

ItcameintomyheadthatImightmakemywayatcourt,where

talentsofthefirstorder,asIhadheard,werenotabsolutely

necessarytofillsituationsofthefirstconsequence.Onthe

verynextmorningItookadvantageofbackcarriage,tobeset

downintherenownedcapitalofSpain.Fortunetookmekindlyby

thehand,andintroducedmetoahighercastofpartsthanthose

Ihadhithertofilled.

CH.XII.—GilBlastakeslodgingsinaready-furnishedhouse.

HegetsacquaintedwithCaptainChinchilla.Thatofficer’s

characterandbusinessatMadrid.

ONmyfirstarrivalatMadrid,Ifixedmyhead-quartersina

lodging-house,whereresided,amongotherpersons,anold

captain,whowascomefromthedistantpartofNewCastile,to

solicitapensionatcourt,andhethoughthisclaimsbuttoo

wellfounded.HisnamewasDonAnnibaldeChinchilla.Itwasnot

withoutmuchstaringthatIsawhimforthefirsttime.Hewasa

manaboutsixty,ofgiganticstature,andofanatomicalleanness.

Hiswhiskerswerelikebrushwood,fencingoffthetwosidesof

hisfaceashighashistemples.Besidesthat,hewasshortin

hisreckoningbyanarmandaleg,therewasavacancyforan

eye,whichPolyphemewouldhavesuppliedashedid,hadpatches

ofgreensilkbeentheninthefashion;andhisfeatureswere

hackedsufficientlytoillustrateatreatiseofgeometry.With

theseexceptions,hisconfigurationwasmuchlikethatofanother

man.Astohismentalqualities,hewasnotaltogetherwithout

understanding;andwhathewantedinquicknesshemadeupby

gravity.Hisprincipleswererigidintheextreme;anditwashis

particularboasttobedelicateonthepointofhonour.

Aftertwoorthreeinterviews,hedistinguishedmebyhis

confidence.Isoongotintoallhispersonalhistory:herelated

onwhatoccasionshehadleftaneyeatNaples,anarmin

Lombardy,andalegintheLowCountries.Themostadmirable

circumstanceinallhisnarrativesofbattlesandsieges,was,

thatnotasinglefeatureoftheswaggererpeepedout;notaword

escapedhimtohisownhonourandglory;thoughonecouldreadily

haveforgivenhimformakingsomelittledisplayofthehalf

whichwasstillextantofhimself,asaset-offagainstthe

dilapidationswhichhaddeductedsolargelyfromtheusual

contextureofaman.Officerswhoreturnfromtheircampaigns

withoutascratchupontheirskinoralove-lockoutofplace,

arenotalwayssohumbleintheirpretensions.

Buthetoldmethatwhatgavehimmostuneasinesswas,thehaving

wastedaconsiderableportionofhisprivatefortuneonmilitary

objects,sothathehadnotmorethanahundredducatsayear

left;apoorestablishmentforsuchapairofwhiskers,a

gentleman’slodging,andanamanuensistomultiplymemorialsby

wholesale.Forinpointoffact,myworthyfriend,addedhe,

shrugginghisshoulders,Ipresentone,withablessingonmy

endeavours,everyday,andthelastmeetswiththesameattention

asthefirst.Youwouldsaythatitwasanevenbetbetweenthe

primeministerandme,whichofustwoshallbefiredfirst;the

memorialistorthereceiverofthememorials.Ihaveoftenhad

thehonour,too,ofaddressingthekingonthesamesubject;but

therectorandhiscuratesaygraceinthesamekey;andinthe

meantime,mycastleofChinchillaisfallingtoruinforwantof

necessaryrepairs.

Faintheartneverwonfairlady,saidImostwiselytothe

captain;youareperhapsontheeveoffindingallyourmarches

andcountermarchesrepaidwithusury.Imustnotflattermyself

withthatpleasingexpectation,answeredDonAnnibal.Itisbut

threedayssinceIspoketooneoftheminister’ssecretaries;

andifIamtotrusthisrepresentations,Ihaveonlytoholdup

myheadandlookbig.Whatthendidhesaytoyou?repliedI.Had

thosepoordumbmouthsyourwoundsnoeloquence,towringa

hirelingpittancefortheirprofuseexpenseofblood?Youshall

judgeforyourself,resumedChinchilla.Thissecretarytoldmein

goodplainterms:Myhonestfriend,youneednotboastsomuchof

yourzealandyourfidelity;youhaveonlydoneyourdutyin

exposingyourselftodangerforyourcountry.Nakedgloryisthe

trueandhonourablerecompenseofgallantactions,andassuchis

theprizeatwhichaSpaniardaims.Youthereforeargueonfalse

principles,ifyouconsiderthebountyyousolicitasadebt.In

caseitshouldbegranted,youwillowethatfavourexclusively

totheroyalgoodness,whichinitsextremecondescension

requitesthoseofitssubjectswhohaveservedthestate

valiantly.Thusyousee,pursuedthecaptain,thatifIhada

hundredlivestheyareallpledged,andthatIamlikelytogo

backashungryasIcame.

Abravemanindistressisthemosttouchingobjectinthis

world.Iexhortedhimtostickclose,andofferedtowritehis

memorialsoutfairfornothing.Ievenwentsofarastoopenmy

pursetohim,andtobegitasafavourthathewoulddrawupon

meforwhateverhewanted.Buthewasnotoneofthosefolkswho

neverwaittobeaskedtwiceonsuchoccasions.Somuchthe

reverse,thatwithacommendabledelicacyonthesubject,he

thankedmeformykindness,butrefuseditperemptorily.He

afterwardstoldmethat,forfearofspunginguponanyone,he

hadaccustomedhimself,bylittleandlittle,tolivewithsuch

sobriety,thatthesmallestquantityoffoodwassufficientfor

hissubsistence;whichwasbuttootrue.Hisdailyfarewas

confinedtovegetables,bydintwhereofhiscomponentpartswere

confinedtoskinandbone.Thathemighthavenowitnesseshow

illhedined,heusuallyshuthimselfupinhischamberatthat

meal.Iprevailedsofarwithhim,however,byrepeated

entreaties,astoobtainthatweshoulddineandsuptogether:

then,undermininghispridebylittleindirectartificesof

compassion,IorderedmoreprovisionandwinethanIcould

consumetomyownshare.Ipressedhimtoeatanddrink.Atfirst

hemadedifficultiesaboutit;butintheendtherewasno

resistingmyhospitality.Afteratime,hismodestybecoming

fainterashisdietwasmoreflush,hehelpedmeoffwithmy

dinnerandlightenedmybottlealmostwithoutasking.

Oneday,afterfourorfiveglasses,whenhisstomachhadrenewed

itsintimacywithamoregeneroussystemoffeeding,hesaidto

mewithanairofgaiety:Uponmyword,SignorGilBlas,youhave

verywinningwayswithyou;youmakemedojustwhateveryou

please.Thereissomethingsoheartyinyourwelcomeasto

relievemefromallfearoftrespassingonyourgeneroustemper.

Mycaptainseemedatthatmomentsoentirelytohavegotridof

hisbashfulness,thatifIhadbeeninthehumourtohaveseized

theluckymoment,andtohavepressedmypurseoncemoreonhis

acceptance,Iammuchmistakenifhewouldhaverefusedit.Idid

notputhimtothetrial;butrestedsatisfiedwithhavingmade

himmymessmate,andtakenthetroublenotonlytocopyouthis

memorials,buttoassisthimintheircomposition.Bydintof

havingwrittenhomiliesoutfair,Ihadlearnttheknackof

phraseology,andwasbecomeasortofauthor.Theoldofficeron

hissidehadsomelittlevanityaboutwritingwell.Bothofus

thuscontendingfortheprize,theburstsofeloquencewouldhave

donehonourtothemostcelebratedprofessorsofSalamanca.But

itwasinvainthatwesatonoppositesidesofthetable,and

drainedourgeniustotheverydregs,tonourishtheflowersof

rhetoricinthesememorials;youmightaswellhaveplantedan

orange-groveonthesea-beach.Inwhatevernewlightweplaced

DonAnnibal’sservices,itwasallthesameatcourt,the

connoisseursweredecidedabouttheirmerit;sothatthebattered

veteranhadnoreasontosingthepraisesofthatspiritwhich

leadsofficersontospendtheirfamilyestatesintheservice.

Inthevirulenceofhisspleenhecursedtheplanetunderwhich

hewasborn,andsentNaples,Lombardy,andtheLowCountriesto

thedevil.

Thathismortificationmightbepresseddownandrunningover,it

happenedtohisfaceonedaythatapoet,introducedbytheDuke

ofAlva,havingrecitedasonnetbeforethekingonthebirthof

aninfant;wasgratifiedwithapensionoffivehundredducats.I

believethelop-limbedcaptainwouldhavegoneravingmadatit,

ifIhadnottakensomepainstorecompensehisspirit.Whatis

thematterwithyou?saidI,seeinghimquitebesidehimself.

Thereisnothinginallthiswhichoughttogosoterribly

agaiustthegrain.EversinceMountParnassusswelledabovethe

subjectplain,havenotpoetspleadedtheprivilegeoflaying

princesundercontributiontotheirmuse?Thereisnotacrowned

headinChristendomthathasnotsubstitutedapensionedlaureate

forthehouseholdfooloflessrefinedtimes.Andbetween

ourselves,thisspeciesofpatronage,forthemostpartgalloping

downfulldrivetoposterityonthesaddleofPegasus,raisesa

hueandcryinhonourofroyalmunificence;butbountytopersons

whoarelostinacrowd,howeverdeserving,addsnothingtothe

bulkorstatureofposthumousrenown.Augustusmusthavedrained

histreasurybygratuities,andyethowfewofthenamesonhis

pension-listhavecomedowntous!Butdistantagesshallbe

informed,asweare,inallthehyperboleofpoeticdiction,that

hisbenefitsdescendedonVirgilliketherainfromheaven,whose

dropsarithmetichasnocombinationstocount,noprinciplesby

whichtoreasonontheirnumber.

ButletmetalkeversoclassicallytoDonAnnibal,therewasa

confoundedacidityinthatsonnetwhichcurdledallthemilky

ingredientsofhismoralcomposition;itwasimpossibletochew,

swallow,anddigestsuchfoodwithhumanorgans;andhewasfully

determinedtogivethematterupatonce.Itseemedright,

nevertheless,bywayofplayingforhislaststake,topresent

onemorememorialtotheDukeofLerma,andifthatfailedthere

wasanendofthegame.Forthispurposewewenttogethertothe

primeminister’s.Therewemetayoungmanwho,aftersaluting

thecaptain,saidtohiminatoneofaffection:Myoldanddear

master,isityourownselfthatIsee?Whatbusinessbringsyou

tothismartoffavour?Ifyouhaveoccasionforanyonetospeak

agoodwordforyou,donotsparemylungs;theyareentirelyat

yourservice.Howisthis,Pedrillo?answeredtheofficer;to

hearyoutalkitshouldseemasifyouheldsomeimportantpost

inthishouse.Atleast,repliedtheyoungman,Ihaveinfluence

enoughheretoputanhonestrusticlikeyouintotheright

train.Thatbeingthecase,resumedthecaptainwithasmile,I

placemyselfunderyourprotection.Iacceptthepledge,rejoined

Pedrillo.Youhaveonlytoacquaintmewithyourparticular

taste,andIengagetogiveyouasavourysliceoutofthe

ministerialpasty.

Wehadnosooneropenedourmindstothisyoungfellow,sofull

ofkindassurances,thanheinquiredwhereDonAnnibalresided;

then,promisingthatweshouldhearfromhimonthefollowing

day,hevanishedwithoutinforminguswhathemeanttodo,or

eventellinguswhetherhebelongedtotheDukeofLerma’s

household.IwascurioustoknowwhatthisPedrillowas,whose

turnofmindappearedtobesobriskandactive.Heisabrave

lad,saidthecaptain,whowaitedonmesomeyearsago,but

findingmeoutatelbows,wentawayinsearchofabetter

service.Therewasnooffencetomeinallthat;itisvery

naturaltochangewhenonecannotbeworseoff.Thecreatureis

pleasantenough,notdeficientinparts,andhappyinaspiritof

intriguewhichwouldwheedlewiththedevil.Butnotwithstanding

allhisfinepretence,Iamnotsanguineinmyreckoningonthe

zealhehasjusttestifiedforme.Perhaps,saidI,theremaybe

someplausibilityinhisdesigns.Shouldhebearetainer,for

example,toanyoftheduke’sprincipalofficers,itwillbein

hispowertoserveyou.Youhavelivedtoolongintheworldnot

toknowthatingreathouseseverythingisdonebypartyand

cabal;thatthemastersaregovernedbytwoorthreeupper

servantsabouttheirpersons,who,intheirturn,aregovernedby

thatmultitudeofmenialsattendantuponthem.

OnthenextmorningwesawPedrilloatourbreakfasttable.

Gentlemen,saidhe,ifIdidnotexplainmyselfyesterdayasto

mymeansofservingCaptainChinchilla,itwasbecausewewere

notinaplacewheresuchacommunicationcouldbemadewith

safety.Besides,Iwasdisposedtoascertainwhetherthething

wasfeasible,beforeyouweremadepartiesinit.Understand,

then,thatIamtheconfidentialservantofSignorDonRodrigode

Calderona,theDukeofLerma’sfirstsecretary.Mymaster,whois

muchaddictedtowomen,goesalmosteveryeveningtosupwitha

littleArragoniannightingale,whomhekeepsinacagenearthe

purlieusofthecourt.SheisquiteayounggirlfromAlbarazin,

amostlovelycreature.Shehassomewitaswellasbeauty,and

singsenchantingly;theycallhertheSpanishSyren.Iamthe

bearerofsometenderinquirieseverymorning,andamjustcome

fromher.IhaveproposedtohertopassoffSignorDonAnnibal

forheruncle,andtheobjectoftheforgeryistoengageher

loverinhisinterests.Sheisverywillingtolendheraidin

thebusiness.Besidessomelittlecommissiontowhichshelooks

forwardontheprofits,itwillticklehervanitytobetakenfor

thenieceofamilitaryman.

SignordeChinchillalookedverygrimatthissuggestion.He

declaredhisextremeabhorrenceofbecomingapartyconcernedin

amereswindlingtrick,andstillmoreofadoptingafemale

adventurer,nobetterthansheshouldbe,intohisfamily,and

thuscastingastainuponitsimmaculatepurity.Itwasnotonly

forhimselfthathefeltallthissoreness;therewasarecoilof

ignominyonhisancestors,whichwouldlaytheirhonourslevel

withthedust.Thismorbiddelicacyseemedoutofseasonto

Pedrillo,whocouldnothelpexpressinghiscontemptofitthus.

Youmustsurelybeoutofyourwitstotakethematteruponthat

footing.Afinemarketyoubringyourmoralsto,youdictators

fromtheplough,withyourridiculoussqueamishness!Nowyouseem

agoodsensibleman,appealingtomeashespoketheselast

words.Canyoubelieveyourearswhenyouhearsuchscruples

advanced?Heavendefendus!Atcourt,ofalltheplacesinthe

world,tolookatmoralsthroughamicroscope!Letfortunecome

underwhathaggardformshemay,theyhugherintheirarms,and

swearsheisabeauty.

MywayofthinkingwaspreciselywithPedrillo;andwedinnedit

sostoutlyintoboththecaptain’sear;astomakehimthe

SpanishSyren’suncleagainstnatureandinclination.Whenwehad

sofarprevailedoverhispride,weallthreesetaboutdrawing

upanewmemorialfortheminister,whichwasrevised,witha

copiousinterlacingofadditionsandcorrections.Ithenwroteit

outfair,andPedrillocarriedittotheArragonianchauntress,

whothatveryeveningputitintothehandsofSignorDon

Rodrigo,tellingherstorysoartlesslythatthesecretary,

reallysupposingherthecaptainsniece,promisedtotakeuphis

case.Afewdaysafterwardswereapedthefruitsofourlittle

project.Pedrillocamebacktoourhousewiththeloftyairofa

benefactor.Goodnews,saidhetoChinchilla.Thekingisgoing

tomakeanewgrantofofficers,places,andpensions;norwill

yournamebeforgotteninthelist.ButIamspecially

commissionedtoinquirewhatpresentyoupurposemakingtothe

SpanishSyren,forthepipermustbepaid.Astomyself,Ivow

andprotestthatIwillnottakeafarthing;thepleasureof

havingcontributedtopatchupmyoldmaster’sbrokenfortunes,

ismoretomethanalltheingotsoftheIndies.Butitisnot

preciselysowithournymphofAlbarazin.shehasalittleJewish

bloodtoplead,whentheChristianpreceptoflovingyour

neighbourasherselfispreacheduptoher.Shewouldpickher

ownnaturalfather’spocket;sojudgeyouwhethershewouldbe

abovemakingabargainwithatravellinguncle.

Shehasonlytonameherownterms,answeredDonAnnibal.

Whatevermypensionmaybe,sheshallhavethethirdofit

annuallyifshepleases;Iwillpledgemywordforit;andthat

proportionoughttosatisfyhercraving,ifhisCatholicMajesty

hadsettledhiswholeexchequeronme.Iwouldassoontakeyour

wordasyourbond,formyownpart,repliedthenimble-footed

messengerofDonRodrigo;Iknowthatitwillstandtheassay;

butyouhavetodealwithalittlecreaturewhoknowsherself,

andnaturallysupposesthatsheknowsalltherestoftheworld

bythesametoken.Besides,shewouldlikebettertotakeitin

thelump;two-thirdstobepaiddownnowinreadymoney.Why,how

thedevildoesshemeanthatIshouldgetthewherewithal?bawled

thecaptaininaquandary.Doesshetakemeforanauditorof

publicaccounts,ortreasurertoacharity?Youcannothavemade

heracquaintedwithmycircumstances.Yes,butIhave,replied

Pedrillo;sheknowsverywellthatyouarepoorerthanJob;after

whatshehasheardfrommeshecouldthinknootherwise.Butdo

notmakeyourselfuneasy,mybrainisneveratalossforan

expedient.Iknowanoldscoundrelofanusurer,whowilltake

tenpercent,ifhecangetnomore.Youmustassignyourfirst

year’spensiontohim,inacknowledgmentforalikevaluable

considerationfromhim,whichyouwillinpointoffactreceive,

onlydeductingtheabove-mentionedinterest.Astosecurity,the

lenderwilltakeyourcastleatChinchilla,forwantofbetter;

therewillbenodisputeaboutthat.

Thecaptaindeclaredhisreadinesstoaccepttheterms,incase

ofhisbeingsofortunateastopossessanybeneficialinterest

inthegoodthingstobegivenawaythenextmorning.Ithappened

accordingly.Hegotagovernmentwithapensionofthreehundred

pistoles.Assoonasthenewscame,hesignedandsealedas

required,settledhislittleconcernsintown,andwentoffagain

forNewCastilewithabalanceofsomefewpistolesinhis

favour.

CH.XIII.—GilBlascomesacrosshisdearfriendFabricioat

court.Greatecstacyonbothsides.Theyadjourntogether,and

comparenotes;buttheirconversationistoocurioustobe

anticipated.

IHADcontractedahabitofgoingtotheroyalpalaceevery

morning,whereIloungedawaytwoorthreegoodhoursinseeing

thegoodpeoplepasstoandfro;buttheiraspectwasless

imposingtherethaninotherplaces,asthelesserstarsturn

paleinthepresenceofthesun.OnedayasIwaswalkingback

andfore,andstruttingabouttheapartments,makingaboutas

wiseafigurethereasmyneighbours,IspiedoutFabricio,whom

IhadleftatValladolidintheserviceofahospitaldirector.

Itsurprisedmenotalittlethathewaschattingfamiliarlywith

theDukeofMedinaSidoniaandtheMarquisofSantaCruz,Those

twonoblemen,ifmysensesdidnotdeceiveme,werelistening

withadmirationtohisprattle.Tocrownthewhole,hewasas

handsomelydressedasagrandee.

SurelyImustbemistaken!thoughtI.Canthispossiblybethe

sonofNunezthebarber?Morelikelyitissomeyoungcourtier

whobearsastrongresemblancetohim.Butmysuspensewasofno

longduration.Thepartybrokeup,andIaccostedFabricio.He

knewmeatonce;tookmebythehand,andafterpressingthrough

thecrowdtogetoutoftheprecincts,saidwithahearty

greeting,MydearGilBlas,Iamdelightedtoseeyouagain.What

areyoudoingatMadrid?Areyoustillatservice?Someplace

aboutthecourtperhaps?Howdomattersstandwithyou?Letme

intothehistoryofallthathashappenedtoyousinceyour

precipitateflightfromValladolid.Youaskagreatmany

questionsinabreath,repliedI;andwearenotinafitplace

forstory-telling.Youareintheright,answeredhe;weshallbe

betterathomeCome,Iwillshewyoutheway;itisnotfarhence

Iamquitemyownmaster,withallmycomfortsaboutme;

perfectlyeasyastothemainchance,withalightheartanda

happytemper;becauseIamdeterminedtoseeeverythingonthe

brightside.

Iacceptedtheproposal,andFabricioescortedme.Westoppedat

ahouseofmagnificentappearance,wherehetoldmethathe

lived.Therewasacourttocross;ononesideithadagrand

staircaseleadingtoasuiteofstateapartments,andonthe

otherasmallflight,darkandnarrow,whitherwebetook

ourselvestoaresidenceelevatedinadifferentsensefromwhat

hehadboasted.Itconsistedofasingleroom,whichmy

contrivingfriendhaddividedintofourbydealpartitions.The

firstservedasanantechambertothesecond,wherehelay:of

thethirdhemadehiscloset,ofthelasthiskitchen,The

chamberandantechamberwerepaperedwithmaps,andmanyasheet

ofphilosophicaldiscussion;norwasthefurniturebyanymeans

unsuitabletothehangings.Therewasalargebrocadebedmuch

theworseforwear;tawdryoldchairswithcoarseyellow

coverings,fringedwithGrenadasilkofthesamecolour,atable

withgiltfeet,andaclothoveritthatonceaspiredtobered,

borderedwithtinselandembroiderytarnishedbythatold

corroder,time;withanebonycabinet,ornamentedwithfiguresin

aclumsytasteofsculpture.Insteadofaconvenientdesk,hehad

asmalltableinhiscloset;andhislibrarywasmadeupwith

somefewbooks,andagreatmanybundlesofpaperarrangedon

shelvesoneabovetheotherthewholelengthofthewall.His

kitchen,toomodesttoputtherestoftheestablishmentoutof

countenance,exhibitedafrugalassortmentofearthenwareand

othernecessaryimplementsofcookery.

Fabricio,whenhehadallowedmeleisuretophilosophizeonhis

domesticarrangements,beggedtoknowmyopinionofhis

apartmentsandhishousekeeping,andwhetherIwasnotenchanted

withthem:Yes,beyondallmannerofdoubt,answeredIwitha

roguishsmile.Youmusthaveappliedyourwitstoagoodpurpose

atMadrid,tohavegotsowellaccoutred.Ofcourseyouhavesome

post.Heavenpreservemefromanythingofthesort!repliedhe.

Mylineoflifeisfaraboveallpoliticalsituations.Amanof

rank,towhomthishousebelongs,hasgivenmearoominit,

whenceIhavecontrivedtopieceoutasuiteoffour,fittedup

insuchtasteasyoumaysee.Idevotemytimetonoemployments

butwhatarejusttomyfancy,andneverfeelwhatitistowant.

Explainyourselfmoreintelligibly,saidI,interruptinghim.You

setmeallagogtobeletintoyourlittlearrangements.Well,

then!saidhe,Iwillridyouofthatdevilcuriosityatonce.I

havecommencedauthor,haveplungedheadlongintotheoceanof

literature;verseandproserunequallyglib;inshortIama

jackofalltradestothemuses.

What!youboundinsolemnleagueandcovenanttoApollo?

exclaimedIwithmostintolerablelaughter.Nothingundera

prophetcouldeverhaveanticipatedthis.Ishouldhavebeenless

surprisedatanyothertransformation.Whatpossibledelights

haveyouhadtheingenuitytodetectintheruggedlandscapeof

Parnassus?Itshouldseemasifthelabourerstherehaveavery

poortakingincivillife,andfeedonacoarsedietwithout

sauce.Outuponyou!criedhe,indudgeonatthehint.Youare

talkingofthosepaltryauthors,whoseworksandeventheir

personsareunderthethumbofbooksellersandplayers.Isitany

wonderthatwritersundersuchcircumstancesshouldbeheld

cheap?Butthegoodones,myfriend,areonabetterfootingin

theworld;andIthinkitmayheaffirmed,vanityapart,thatmy

nameistobefoundintheirlist.Questionless,saidI,talents

likeyoursareconvertibletoeverypurpose;compositionsfrom

suchapenarenotlikelytobeinsipid.ButIamontherackto

knowhowthisrageforfencingwithinkyweaponscouldhave

seizedthee.

Yourwonderandalarmhasmindinit,repliedNunez.Iwasso

wellpleasedwithmysituationintheserviceofSignorManuel

Ordonnez,thatIhadnohankeringafteranyother.Butmygenius,

likethatofPlautus,beingtoohigh.mindedtocontractitself

withinthesphereofmenialoccupations,Iwroteaplayandgot

itactedbyacompanythenperformingatValladolid.Thoughit

wasnotworththepaperitwasscrawledupon,ithadmoresuccess

thanmanybetterpieces.HenceconcludedIthatthepublicwasa

sillybird,andwouldhatchanyeggsthatwereputunderit.That

modestdiscovery,withtheconsequentmadnessofincessant

composition,alienatedmyaffectionsfromthehospital.Thelove

ofpoetrybeingstrongerthanthedesireofaccumulation,I

determinedonrepairingtoMadrid,asthecentreofeverything

distinguished,toformmytasteinthatschool.Thefirstthing

wastogivethegovernorwarning,whopartedwithmetohisown

greatsorrow,fromasortofaffectiontheresultofsimilar

propensities.Fabricio,saidhe,whatpossiblegroundcanyou

havefordiscontent?Noneatall,sir,Ireplied;youarethe

bestofallpossiblemasters,andIamdeeplyimpressedwithyour

kindtreatment;butyouknowonemustfollowwhithersoeverthe

starsordain.Ifeelthesacredfirewithinme,onwhoseaspiring

elementmynameistobewaftedtoposterity.Whatconfounded

nonsense!rejoinedtheoldfellow,whoseideaswereall

pecuniary.Youarealreadybecomeafixtureinthehospital,and

aremadeofametalwhichmayeasilybemanufacturedintoa

steward,orbygood-luckevenintoagovernor.Youaregoingto

giveupthegreatobjectoflife,andtoflutteraboutits

frippery.Somuchtheworseforyou,honestfriend!

Thegovernor,seeinghowfruitlessitwastostrugglewithmy

fixedresolve,paidmemywages,andmademeapresentoffifty

ducatsasanacknowledgmentofmyservices.Thus,betweenthis

supplyandwhatIhavebeenabletoscrapetogetheroutofsome

littlecommissions,whichwereassignedtomefromanopinionof

mydisinterestedness,Iwasincircumstancestomakeavery

prettyappearanceonmyarrivalatMadrid;whichIwasnot

negligentindoing,thoughtheliterarytribeinourcountryare

notover-punctiliousaboutdecencyorcleanliness.Isoongot

acquaintedwithLopedeVega,Cervantes,andthewholesetof

them;butthoughtheywerefinefellows,andthoughtsobythe

public,Ichoseformymodelinpreference,DonLewisdeGongora,

theincomparable,ayoungbachelorofCordova,decidedlythe

firstgeniusthateverSpainproduced.Hewillnotsufferhis

workstobeprintedduringhislifetime;butconfineshimselfto

aprivatecommunicationamonghisfriends.Whatisvery

remarkable,naturehasgiftedhimwiththeuncommontalentof

succeedingineverydepartmentofpoetry.Hisprincipal

excellenceisinsatire;thereheoutshineshimself.Hedoesnot

resemble,likeLucilius,amuddystreamwithaslimybottom;but

isratherliketheTagus,rollingitstransparentwatersovera

goldensand.

Yougiveafinedescriptionofthisbachelor,saidItoFabricio;

andquestionlessacharacterofsuchmeritmusthaveattractedan

infinitedealofenvy.Thewholegangofauthors,answeredhe,

goodandbadequally,areopenmouthedagainsthim.Hedealsin

bombast,saysone;aimsatdoublemeanings,luxuriatesin

metaphorandaffectstransposition.Hisverses,saysanother,

havealltheobscurityofthosewhichtheSalianpriestsusedto

chauntintheirprocessions,andwhichnobodywasthewiserfor

hearing.Thereareotherswhoimputeittohimasafault,to

haveexercisedhisgeniusatonetimeinsonnetsorballads,at

anotherinplay-writing,inheroicstanzas,andinminorefforts

ofwitalternately,asifhehadmadlytakenuponhimselfto

eclipsethebestwriterseachintheirownfavouritewalk.But

allthesethrustsofjealousyaresuccessfullyparried,wherethe

muse,whichistheirmark,becomestheidolofthegreatandof

themultitudeatonce.

UndersoableamasterdidIservemyapprenticeship;and,vanity

apart,thepreceptorwasreflectedinthedisciple.Sohappily

didIcatchhisspirit,thatbythistimehewouldnotbeashamed

toownsomeofmydetachedpieces.Afterhisexample,Icarrymy

goodstomarketatgreathouseswherethebiddingiseager,and

thesagacityofthebiddersnotdifficulttomatch.Itistrue

thatIhaveaveryinsinuatingtalentatrecitation;whichplaces

mycompositionsinnodisadvantageouslight.Inshort,Iamthe

deardelightofthenobility,andliveinthemostparticular

intimacywiththeDukeofMedinaSidonia,justasHoraceusedto

livewithhisjollycompanionMaecenas.Bysuchconjurationand

mightymagichaveIwonthenameofauthor.Youseethemethod

lieswithinanarrowcompass.Now,GilBlas,itisyourturnto

deliveraroundunvarnishedtaleofyourexploits.

OnthishintIspake;andunlikemostnarrators,gaveallthe

importantparticulars,passinglightlyoverminuteandtiresome

circumstances.Theactionoftalking,longcontinued,putsonein

mindofdining.Hisebonycabinet,whichservedforlarder,

pantry,andallpossibleuses,wasransackedfornapkins,bread,

ashoulderofmuttonfargoneinadecline,withitslastand

bestcontents,abottleofexcellentwine;sothatwesatdownto

tableinhighspirits,asfriendsarewonttodoafteralong

separation.Youobserve,saidhe,thisfreeandindependent

manneroflife.Imightfindaplatelaidformeeveryday,ifI

choseit,intheveryfirsthouses;but,besidesthatthemuse

oftenpaysmeavisitanddetainsmewithindoors,Ihavea

littleofAristippusinmynature.Icanpasswithequalrelish

fromthegreatandbusyworldtomyretreat,fromallthe

researchesofluxurytothesimplicityofmyownfrugalboard.

Thewinewassogood,thatweencroacheduponasecondbottle.As

arelishtoourfruitandcheese,Ibeggedtobefavouredwith

thesightofsomething,theoffspringofhisinspiredmoments.He

immediatelyrummagedamonghispapers,andreadmeasonnetwith

muchenergyoftone.Yet,withalltheadvantageofaccentand

expression,therewassomethingsouncouthinthearrangement,as

tobaffleallconjectureaboutthemeaning.Hesawhowitpuzzled

me.Thissonnetthen,saidhe,isnotquiteleveltoyour

comprehension!Isnotthatthefact!IownedthatIshouldhave

preferredaconstructionsomewhatlessforced.Hebeganlaughing

atmyrusticity.Well,then!repliedhe;wewillsaythatthis

sonnetwouldconfuseclearerheadsthanthine:itisallthe

betterforthatSonnets,odes,inshortallcompositionswhich

partakeofthesublime,areofcoursethereverseofthesimple

andnatural:theyareenvelopedinclouds,andtheirdarkness

constitutestheirgrandeur.Letthepoetonlyfancythatbe

understandshimselfnomatterwhetherhisreadersunderstandhim

ornot.Youarelaughingatme,myfriend,saidI,interrupting

him.Letpoetrybeofwhatspeciesitmay,goodsenseand

intelligibledictionareessentialtoitspowersofpleasing.If

yourpeerlessGongoraisnotalittlemorelucidthanyourself,I

protestthathismeritwillneverpasscurrentwithme.Such

poetsmayentraptheirownageintoapplause,butwillneverlive

beyondit.Nowletmehaveatasteofyourprose.

Nunezshewedmeaprefacewhichhemeanttoprefixtoadramatic

miscellanytheninthepress.Heinsistedonhavingmyopinion.I

likenotyourproseoneatombetterthanyourverse,saidI.Your

sonnetisaroaringdelugeofemptiness;andasforyourpreface,

itisdisfiguredbyaphraseologystolenfromlanguagesyetin

embryo,bywordsnotstampedinthemintofgeneraluse,byall

theperplexityofastylethatdoesnotknowwhattomakeof

itself.Inaword,thecompositionisaltogetherathingofyour

own.Ourclassicalandstandardbooksarewritteninavery

differentmanner.Poortastelesswretch!exclaimedFabricio.You

arenotawarethateveryprosewriterwhoaspirestothe

reputationofsentimentanddelicacyinthesedays,affectsthis

styleofhisown,theseperplexitiesandinnovationswhicharea

stumbling-blocktoyou.Therearefiveorsixofusdetermined

reformersofourlanguage,whohaveundertakentoturnthe

Spanishidiomtopsy-turvy;andwithablessingonourendeavours,

wewillpullitdownandbuilditupagainindefianceofLopede

Vega,Cervantes,andallthehostofwitswhocavilatournew

modesofspeech.Ourpartyisstronglysupportedinthe

fashionableworld,andwehavelaidviolenthandsuponthe

pulpit.

Afterall,continuedhe,ourprojectiscommendable;for,to

speakwithoutprejudice,wehavetentimesthemeritofthose

naturalwriters,whoexpressthemselvesjustlikethemob.I

cannotconceivewhysomanysensiblemenaretakenwiththem.It

isallverywellatAthensandatRome,inawildand

undistinguishingdemocracy;andonthatprincipleonlycould

SocratestellAlcibiades,thatthelastappealwastothepeople

inalldisputesaboutlanguage.ButatMadridthereisapolite

andavulgarusage;sothatourcourtierstalkinadifferent

tonguefromtheirtradesmen.Youmayassureyourselfthatitis

so;infine,thisnewlyinventedstyleiscarryingeverything

beforeit,andturningoldnatureoutofdoors.NowIwill

explaintoyoubyasingleinstancethedifferencebetweenthe

eleganceofourdictionandtheflatnessoftheirs.Theywould

say,forexample,inplainterms,“Balletsincidentaltothe

pieceareanornamenttoaplay;”butinourmodeofexpression,

wesaymoreexquisitely,“Balletsincidentaltothepiecearethe

verylifeandsouloftheplay.”Nowobservethephrase;lifeand

soul.Areyousensiblehowglowingitis,atthesametimehow

descriptive,settingbeforeyouallthemotionsofthedancers,

asonanintellectualstage?

Ibrokeinuponmyreformeroflanguagewithaburstoflaughter.

Getalongwithyou,Fabricio,saidI,youareacoxcombofyour

ownmanufacture,withyouraffectedfineryofphrase.Andyou,

answeredhe,areablockheadofnature’sclumsymoulding,with

yourstarchsimplicity.Hethenwentontauntingmewiththe

archbishopofGrenada’sangrybanteronmydismission.“Getabout

yourbusiness!Goandtellmytreasurertopayyouahundred

ducats,andtakemyblessinginadditiontothatsum.Godspeed

you,goodmasterGilBlas!Iheartilypraythatyoumaydowell

intheworld!Thereisnothingtostandinyourway,buta

littlebettertaste.”Iroaredoutinastilllouderexplosionof

laughteratthisluckyhit;andFabricio,easilyappeasedonthe

scoreofimpiety,asmanifestedintheopinionexpressed

concerninghiswritings,lostnothingofhispleasantand

propitioustemper.Wegottothebottomofoursecondbottle;and

thenrosefromthetableinfineorderforanadventure.Our

firstintentionwastoseewhatwastobeseenuponthePrado;

butpassinginfrontofaliquor-shop,itcameintoourheads

thatwemightaswellgoin.

Thecompanywasingeneraltolerablyselectatthishouseof

call.Thereweretwodistinctapartments;andthepastimeineach

wasofaveryoppositenature.Onewasdevotedtogamesofchance

orskill;theothertoliteraryandscientificdiscussion:and

therewereatthatmomenttwoclevermenbyprofessionhandling

anargumentmostpertinaciously,beforetenortwelveauditors

deeplyinterestedinthediscussion.Therewasnooccasionto

jointhecircle,becausethemetaphysicalthunderoftheirlogic

madeitselfheardatamorerespectfuldistance:theheatand

passionwithwhichthisabstractcontroversywasmanagedmadethe

twophilosopherslooklittlebetterthanmadmen.Acertain

Eleazarusedtocastoutdevils,bytyingaringtothenoseof

thepossessed;hadtheselearnedswinebeenringedinthesame

manner,howmanylittleimpswouldhavetakenwingoutoftheir

nostrils?Angelsandministersofgracedefendus,saidItomy

companion:whatcontortionsofgesture,whatextravaganceof

elocution!Onemightaswellarguewiththetowncrier.How

littledoweknowournaturalcallinginsociety!Verytrue

indeed,answeredhe:youhavereadofNovius,theRoman

pawnbroker,whoselungswentasfarbeyondtherattleofchariot-wheels,ashisconsciencebeyondtherateoflegalinterest;the

NoviimustcertainlyhavebeentransplantedintoSpain,andthese

fellowsarelinealdescendants.Butthehopelesspartofthecase

is,thatthoughourorgansofsensearedeafened,our

understandingsarenotinvigoratedattheirexpense.Wethought

itbesttomakeourescapefromthesebrayingmetaphysicians,and

bythatprudentmotiontoavoidaheadachewhichwasjust

beginningtoannoyus.Wewentandseatedourselvesinacorner

oftheotherroom,whence,aswesippedourrefreshingbeverage,

allcomersandgoerswereobnoxioustoourcriticism.Nunezwas

acquaintedwithalmostthewholeset.Heavenandearth!exclaimed

he,theclashofphilosophyisasyetbutinitsbeginning;fresh

reinforcementsarecominginonbothsides.Thosethreemenjust

onthethreshold,meantoletslipthedogsofwar.Butdoyou

seethosetwoqueerfellowsgoingout?Thatlittleswarthy,

leather-complexionedAdonis,withlonglankhairpartedinthe

middlewithmathematicalexactness,isDonJulianodeVillanuno.

Heisayoungbarrister,withmoreoftheprigthanthelawyer

abouthim.Apartyofuswenttodinewithhimtheotherday.The

occupationwecaughthiminwassingularenough.Hewasamusing

himselfinhisofficewithmakingatallgrey-houndfetchand

carrythebriefsinthecauseswhichweresounfortunateasto

havehimretained;andofcoursethecanineamicuscuriaesethis

fangsindifferentlyintothefleshofplaintiffordefendant,

tearinglaw,equity,precedent,andprincipleintoshreds.That

licentiateathiselbow,withjolly,pimple-spanglednoseand

cheeks,goesbythenameofDonCherubinoTonto.Heisacanonof

Toledo,andthegreatestfoolthatwaseversufferedtowalkthe

earthwithoutakeeper.Andyet,hearrayshisfeaturesinthat

sortofnotquiteunmeaningsmile,thatyouwouldgivehimcredit

forgoodsenseaswellasgoodhumour.Hiseyehasthelookof

cunningifnotofwisdom,andhislaughtoomuchofsarcasmfor

anabsoluteidiot.Onewouldconcludethathehadaturnfor

mischief,butkeptitdownfromprincipleandfeeling.Ifyou

wishtotakehisopinionuponaworkofgenius,hewillhearit

readwithsograveandwraptasilence,asnothingbutdeep

thoughtandacutementalcriticismcouldjustify;butthetruth

is,thathecomprehendsnotoneword,andthereforecanhave

nothingtosay.Hewasofthebarristerparty.Therewerea

thousandgoodthingssaid,astherealwaysmustbeina

professionalcompany.DonCherubinoaddednothingtothemassof

merriment;butlookedsuchperfectapprobationatthosewhodid,

wassotractableandcomplimentaryalistener,thateverymanat

tableplacedhimsecondinthecomparativeestimateofmerit.

Doyouknow,saidItoNunez,whothosetwofellowsarewith

dirtyclothesandmattedhair,theirelbowsonthattableinthe

corner,andtheircheeksupontheirhands,whiffingfoulbreath

intoeachother’snostrilsastheylaytheirheadstogether?He

toldmethatbytheirfacestheywerestrangerstohim;butthat

byphysicalandmoraltokenstheycouldonlybecoffee-house

politicians,ventingtheirspleenagainstthemeasuresof

government.Butdolookatthatsprucespark,whistlingashe

pacesupanddowntheotherroom,andbalancinghimself

alternatelyononetoeandontheother.ThatisDonAugustino

Moreto,ayoungpoetsufficientlyofnature’smintandcoinageto

passcurrent,ifflatterersandsciolistshadnotdebasedhim

intoamerecoxcombbytheirmisplacedadmiration.Themanto

whomheisgoingupwiththatfamiliarshakebythehand,isone

ofthesetwhowriteversesandthencallthemselvespoets;who

claimaspeakingacquaintancewiththemuses,butneverwereof

theirprivateparties.

Authorsuponauthors,nothingbutauthors!exclaimedhe,pointing

outtwodashingblades.Onewouldthinktheyhadmadean

appointmentonpurposetopassinreviewbeforeyou.DonBernardo

DeslenguadoandDonSebastianofVillaViciosa!Thefirstisa

vinegar-flavouredvintageofParnassus,asatiristbytradeand

company;hehatesalltheworld,andisnotlikedthebetterfor

histaste.AsforDonSebastian,heisthemilkandhoneyof

criticism;hewouldnothavetheguiltofill-natureonhis

consciencefortheuniverse.Hehasjustbroughtoutacomedy

withoutasingleidea,whichhassucceededwithanaudienceof

tantamountideas;andhehasjustnowpublishedittovindicate

hisinnocence.

Gongora’scandidpupilwasrunningoninhiscareerofbenevolent

explanation,whenoneoftheDukedeMedinaSidonia’shousehold

cameupandsaid:SignorDonFabricio,mylorddukewishesto

speakwithyou.Youwillfindhimathome.Nunez,whoknewthat

thewishesofagreatlordcouldnotbetoosoongratified,left

mewithoutceremony;butheleftmeintheutmostconsternation,

tohearhimcalledDon,andthusennobled,inspiteofmaster

Chrysostomthebarber’sescutcheon,whohadthehonourtocall

himfather.

CH.XIV.—FabriciofindsasituationforGilBlasinthe

establishmentofCountGaliano,aSiciliannobleman.

IWAStoohappyinFabricio’ssociety,nottobunthimoutagain

earlythenextmorning.Gooddaytoyou,SignorDonFabricio,

saidIonmyfirstapproach;itseemsyouarethepickedand

chosenflower,orrather,savingyourpresence,thenondescript

excrescenceoftheAsturiannobility.Thissarcasmhadnoother

effectthantosethimlaughingheartily.ThenthetitleofDon

wasnotlostuponyou!exclaimedhe.No,indeed,mynoblelord,

answeredI;andyouwillgivemeleavetotellyouthatwhenyou

wererecountingyourtransformationstomeyesterday,youforgot

themostextraordinary.Exactlyso,repliedhe;buttospeak

sincerely,ifIhavetakenupthatprefixofdignity,itisless

toticklemyownvanity,thanintendernesstothatofothers.

YouknowwhatstufftheSpaniardsaremadeof;anhonestmanis

nohonestmantothem,ifhishonourisnotbolsteredupwith

escutcheons,pedigree,andpatrimony.Imaytellyou,moreover,

thattherearesomanygentry,andveryqueersoftofgentrytoo,

dubbedDonFrancisco,DonPedro,DonWhat-do-you-call-him,orDon

Devil,thatiftheyowetheircoatsofarmstoanyheraldbut

theirownimpudence,modernnobilityisameredruginthe

market,sothataplebeianofnature’sennoblingconfersinfinite

honourontheupstartsofnnartificialcreation,byherdingwith

theirorder.

Butletuschangethesubject,addedhe.Lastnight,suppingat

theDukedeMedinaSidonia’s,withamongothercompanywehad

CountGaliano,agreatSiciliannobleman,theconversationturned

upontheridiculouseffectsofself-love.Delightedathavinga

caseinpointbywayofillustration,Itreatedthemwiththe

storyofthehomilies.Youmaywellsupposethattherewasa

heartylaugh,andthatthearchbishop’sdignitywasnotsavedin

theconcussion;buttheeffectwasnotamissforyou,sincethe

companyfeltforyoursituation;andCountGaliano,afteralong

stringofquestions,whichofcourseIansweredtoyour

advantage,commissionedmetointroduceyou.Iwasjustnowgoing

tolookafteryouforthatpurpose.Inallprobabilityhemeans

toofferyouasituationasoneofhissecretaries.Iadviseyou

nottohangback.Thecountisrich,andlivesawayatMadrid,on

thescaleofanambassador.Heissaidtohavecometocourtona

negotiationwiththeDukeofLerma,respectingsomecrownlands

whichthatministerthinksofalienatinginSicily.Inoneword,

CountGaliano,thoughaSicilian,haseveryfeatureof

generosity,fairdealing,andgentlemanlyconduct.Youcannotdo

betterthangetuponthatnobleman’sestablishment.Inall

probability,theflatteringprophecyrespectingyouatGrenadais

tobefulfilledinhisperson.

Itwasmyfulldetermination,saidItoNunez,totakemyswing

abouttownandlookatmenandmannersalittle,beforethe

harnesswasbuckledonmybackagain;butyoupaintyourSicilian

noblemanincolourswhichfascinatemyimaginationandchangemy

purpose.Ishouldliketoclosewithhimatonce.Youwilldoso

verysoon,repliedhe,orIammuchdeceived.Wesalliedforth

togetherimmediately,andwenttothecount’s,whoresidedinthe

houseofhisfriend,DonSanchod’Avila,thelatterbeingthenin

thecountry.

Thecourt-yardwasoverrunwithpagesandfootmeninrichand

elegantliveries,whiletheantechamberwasblockadedby

esquires,gentlemen,andvariousofficersofthehousehold.They

wereallasfineaspossible,butwithsowhimsicalanassortment

offeatures,thatyoumighthavetakenthemforaclusterof

monkeysdresseduptosatirizetheSpanishfashions.Dowhatyou

will,thereisacertainclassofmenandwomeninnature,whom

noartcantrickoutintoanythinghuman.

AttheverynameofDonFabricio,alanewasformedformy

patron,andIfollowedintherear.Thecountwasinhis

dressing-gown,sittingonasofaandtakinghischocolate.We

madeourobeisanceinthemostrespectfulmanner;whilean

inclinationoftheheadonhispart,accompaniedwitha

condescendingsmile,wonmyheartatonce.Itisverywonderful,

andyetverycommon,howthemosttriflingnoticefromthegreat

penetratestheverysoulofthosewhoarenotaccustomedtoit!

Theymusthavebehavedlikefiends,beforetheirbehaviourwill

becomplainedof.

Aftertakinghischocolate,herecreatedhimselfwiththehumours

ofalargeape,whichunderwentthenameofCupid:whytheape

wasmadeagod,orthegodlikenedtoanape,theparties

concernedcanbestanswer;theonlypointofresemblanceseemed

tobemischief.Atallevents,thishairybratofthesylvan

Venushadsogambolledhimselfintohismaster’sgoodgraces,had

establishedsuchacharacterforwitandhumour,thatthelifeof

societywasextinguishedinhisabsence.AsforNunezandmyself,

thoughwehadabetterturnfordrollery,wewerecunningenough

tochimeinwiththeprevailingtaste.TheSicilianwashighly

delightedwiththis,andtorehimselfawayforamomentfromhis

favouritepastime,justtotellme:Myfriend,youhaveonlyto

saywhetheryouchoosetobeoneofmysecretaries.Ifthe

situationsuitsyou,thesalaryistwohundredpistolesayear.

IfDonFabriciogivesyouacharacter,thatisenough.Yes,my

lord,criedNunez,IamnotsuchacowardlyfellowasPlato,who

introducedoneofhisfriendstoDionysiusthetyrant,andthen

wasafraidtobackhisownrecommendation.ButIhavenoanxiety

aboutbeingreproachedonthathead.

IthankedthepoetoftheAsturiaswithalowbow,forhavingso

muchbetteranopinionofmethanPlatohadofhisfriend.Then

addressingmypatron,Iassuredhimofmyzealandfidelity.No

soonerdidthisgoodnoblemanperceivehisproposaltobe

acceptable,thenherangforhissteward,andaftertalkingto

himapart,saidtome:GilBlas,Iwillexplainthenatureof

yourposthereafter.Meanwhile,youhaveonlytofollowthat

right-handmanofmine;hehashisordershowtobestowyou.I

immediatelyretreated,leavingFabriciobehindwiththeCountand

Cupid.

Thesteward,whocamefromMessina,andprovedbyallhisactions

thathecamethence,ledthewaytohisownroom,overwhelmingme

allthewhilewiththekindnessofhisreception.Hesentthe

tailorwholivedupontheskirtsofthehousehold,andordered

himtomakemeoutofhandasuitofequalmagnificencewith

thoseoftheprincipalofficers.Thetailortookmymeasureand

withdrew.Astolodging,saidthenativeofMessina,Iknowa

roomwhichwilljustsuityou.Butstay!Haveyoubreakfasted?I

answeredinthenegative.Oh!poorshamefacedyouth,repliedhe,

whydidnotyousayso?Comethisway:Iwillintroduceyou

where,thankheaven,youhaveonlytoaskandhave.

Sosaying,heledmedownintothebuttery,wherewefoundthe

clerkofthekitchen,whowasaNeapolitan,andofcoursea

completematchforhisneighbourontheothersideofthewater.

Itmightbesaidofthispairthattheywereformedtomeetby

nature.Thishonestclerkofthekitchenwasdoingjusticetohis

tradebycramminghimselfandfiveorsixhangers-onwithham,

tongue,sausages,andothersavourycompositions,which,besides

theirownrelish,possessthemeritofengenderingthirst:we

madecommoncausewiththesejollyfellows,andhelpedthemto

tossoffsomeofmylordthecount’sbestwines.Whilethese

thingsweregoingoninthebuttery,kindredexploitswere

performinginthekitchen.Thecooktoowasregalingthreeor

fourtradesmenofhisacquaintance,wholikedgoodwineaswell

asourselves,nordisdainedtostufftheircrawswithmeat

pastiesandgame:theveryscullionswereatfreequarters,and

filchedwhatevertheypleased.Ifanciedmyselfinahousegiven

uptoplunder;andyetwhatIsawwascomparativelyfairand

honest.Theselittlefestivitieswerelaughingmatters;butthe

privatetransactionsofthefamilywereveryserious.

CH.XV.—TheemploymentofGilBlasinDonGaliano’shousehold.

IWENTawaytofetchmymoveablestomynewresidence.Onmy

returnthecountwasattablewithseveralnoblemenandthepoet

Nunez,whocalledabouthimasifperfectlyathome,andtooka

principalshareintheconversation.Indeed,heneveropenedhis

lipswithoutapplause.Somuchforwit!withthatcommodityat

market,amanmaypayhiswayinanycompany.

Itwasmylottodinewiththegentlemenofthehousehold,who

wereservednearlyaswellastheiremployer.Aftermeal-timeI

withdrewtoruminateonmylot.Sofarsogood,GilBlas!saidI

tomyself:hereyouareinthefamilyofaSiciliancount,of

whosecharacteryouknownothing.Tojudgebyappearances,you

willbeasmuchinyourelementasaduckuponthewater.Butdo

notmaketoosure!yououghttolookaskewatyourhoroscope,

whoseunkindlypositionyouhavetoooftenexperiencedwitha

vengeance.Independentofthat,itisnoteasytoconjecturewhat

hemeansyoutodo.Therearesecretariesandastewardalready:

wherecanyourpostbe?Inalllikelihoodyouareintendedto

managehislittleprivateaffairs.Wellandgood!Thereisno

betterluckaboutthehouseofagreatnobleman,ifyouwould

travelposthastetomakeyourfortune.Intheperformanceof

morehonourableservices,amangetsononlystepbystep,and

evenatthatpaceoftensticksbytheway.

Whilethesephilosophicalreflectionswererevolvinginmymind,

aservantcametotellmethatallthecompanywasgonehome,and

thatmylordthecountwasinquiringforme.Iflewimmediately

tohisapartment,whereIfoundhimlollingonthesofa,readyto

takehisafternoon’snap,withhismonkeybyhisside.

Comenearer,GilBlas,saidhe;takeachair,andhearme

attentively.Iplacedmyselfinanattitudeofprofound

listening,whenheaddressedmeasfollows.DonFabriciohas

informedmethat,amongothergoodqualities,youhavethatof

sincereattachmenttoyourmasters,andincorruptibleintegrity.

Thesearemyinducementsforproposingtotakeyouintomy

service.Istandinneedofafriendinadomestic,toespousemy

interestsandapplyhiswholeheartandsoultothereformofmy

establishment.Myfortuneislarge,itmustbeconfessed,butmy

expenditurefarexceedsmyincomeeveryyear.Andhowhappens

that?Becausetheyrob,ransack,anddevourme.Imightaswell

beinaforestinfestedbybanditti,asaninhabitantofmyown

house.Isuspecttheclerkofthekitchenandmystewardof

playingintooneanother’shands;andunlessmythoughtsare

unjustaswellasuncharitable,theyarepushingforwardasfast

astheycantoruinmebeyondredemption.YouwillaskmewhatI

havetodobutsendthempacking,ifIthinkthemscoundrels.But

thenwhereareotherstobegotofabetterbreed?Itwillbe

sufficienttoplacethemundertheeyeofamanwhoshallbe

investedwiththerightofcontrolovertheirconduct;andyou

haveIchosentoexecutethiscommission.Ifyoudischargeit

well,beassuredthatyourserviceswillnotberepaidwith

ingratitude.Ishalltakecaretoprovideyouwithavery

comfortablesettlementinSicily.

Withthishedismissedme;andthatveryevening,inthepresence

ofthewholehousehold,Iwasproclaimedprincipalmanagerand

surveyor-generalofthefamily.OurgentlemenofMessinaand

Naplesexpressednoparticularchagrinatfirst,becausethey

consideredmeasasparkofmettleliketheirown,andtookit

forgranted,thatthoughtheloafwastobesharedwithathird,

therewouldalwaysbecutandcomeagainforthetriumvirate.But

theylookedinexpressiblyfoolishthenextday,whenIdeclared

myselfinserioustermsadecidedenemytoallpeculationand

underhanddealing.FromtheclerkofthekitchenIrequiredthe

butteryaccountswithoutvarnishorconcealment.Iwentdowninto

thecellar.Thefurnitureofthebutler’spantryunderwenta

strictexamination,particularlyinthearticlesofplateand

linen.NextIreadthemaseriouslectureonthedutyofacting

fortheiremployerastheywouldforthemselves;exhortedthemto

adoptasystemofeconomyintheirexpenditure;andwoundupmy

haranguewithaprotestation,thathislordshipshouldbe

acquaintedwiththeveryfirstinstanceofanyunfairtricksthat

Ishoulddiscoverintheexerciseofmyoffice.

ButIhadnotyetgottothelengthofmytether.Therewasstill

wantingascouttoascertainwhethertheyhadanyprivate

understanding.Ifixeduponascullion,who,wonoverbymy

promises,toldmethatIcouldnothaveappliedtoabetter

persontobeinformedofallthatwaspassinginthefamily;that

theclerkofthekitchenandthestewardwereoneasgoodasthe

other,andagreedtoburnthecandleatbothends;thathalfthe

provisionsboughtforthetableweremadeperquisitesbythese

gentlemen;thattheNeapolitankeptaladywholivesoppositeSt.

Thomas’scollege,andhiscolleague,nottobeoutdone,provided

anothernextdoortotheSungate;thatthesetwonymphshadtheir

larderregularlysuppliedeverymorning,whilethecook,

followingagoodexample,sentafewlittlenicethingstoa

widowofhisacquaintanceintheneighbourhood:butashewinked

atthetablearrangementsofhisdearandconfidentialfriends,

itwasbutfairthatheshoulddrawwheneverhepleaseduponthe

wine-cellar:inshort,bythepracticesofthesethree

bloodsuckers,amosthorriblesystemofextravagancehadfound

itswayintomylordthecount’sestablishment.Ifyoudoubtmy

veracity,addedthescullion,onlytakethetroubleofgoingto-morrowmorningaboutseveno’clockintotheneighbourhoodofSt

Thomas’scollege,andyouwillseemewithaloaduponmyback,

whichwillconvertyoursuspicionsintocertainty.Thenyou,said

I,areintheconfidenceofthesehonestpurveyors!Iamfactor

totheclerkofthekitchen,answeredhe;andoneofmycomrades

runsonerrandsforthesteward.

IhadthecuriositythenextdaytoloiteraboutSt.Thomas’s

collegeattheappointedhour.Myinformerwaspunctualtotime

andplace.Hebroughtwithhimalargetrayfullofbutcher’s

meat,poultry,andgame.Itookanaccountofeveryarticle;and

drewoutthebilloffareinmymemorandumbook,forthepurpose

ofshewingittomymaster:atthesametimetellingmylittle

turnspittoexecutehiscommissionasusual.

HisSicilianlordship,naturallywarminhistemper,wouldhave

turnedhiscountrymanandtheItalianoutofdoorstogether,in

thefirstfuryofhisanger;butaftercoolinguponit,hegot

ridoftheformeronly,andgavemehisvacantplace.Thusmy

officeofsupervisorwassuppressedveryshortlyafterits

creation;nordidIrelinquishitwithanyreluctance.Todefine

itstrictlyandproperly,itwasnothingbetterthanthatofa

spywithasoundingtitle;therewasnothingsubstantialinthe

natureoftheappointment:whereastothestewardshipwastied

thekeyofthestrongbox,andwiththatgoesthemasteryofthe

wholefamily.Therearesomanylittleperquisitesandsomuch

patronageattachedtothatdepartmentofadministration,thata

manmustinevitablygetrich,almostinspiteofhisownhonesty.

ButourNeapolitanwasnotsoeasilytobedrivenfromhis

strongholds.ObservingtowhatapitchofsavagezealIcarried

myintegrity,andthatIwasupeverymorningtimeenoughto

enterinmybookstheexactquantityofmeatthatcamefrom

market,heabandonedthepracticeofsendingitoffbywholesale:

yettheplundererdidnotthereforecontractthescaleofhis

demandsontheanimalcreation.Hewascunningenoughtomakeit

asbroadasitwaslong,byarrangingtheserviceswithsomuch

themoreprofusion.Thus,whatwassentdownagainuntouched

beinghispropertybyculinarycommonlaw,hehadnothingtodo

buttopamperuphispetwithvictualsreadydressed,insteadof

givingherthetroubleofcookingforherself.Thedevilwill

levyhisdueoutofeverytransaction;sothatthecountwasvery

littlethebetterforhisparagonofasteward.Theunbounded

prodigalityinourstyleofsettingoutatable,eventoa

surfeitingdegree,wasaplainhinttomeofwhatwasgoing

forward;Ithereforetookuponmyselftoretrenchthe

superfluitiesofeverycourse.This,however,wasdonewithso

judiciousahand,thattherewasnothinglikeparsimonytobe

discovered.Noonewouldeverhavemissedwhatwastakenaway;

andyettheexpensewasreducedveryconsiderablybyawell-regulatedeconomy.Thatwasjustwhatmyemployerwanted;good

housewifery,butamagnificentestablishment.Therewasaloveof

savingatthebottom;butatasteforgrandeurwastheostensible

passion.

Abusesseldomexistalone.Thewineflowedtoofreely.If,for

instance,therewereadozengentlemenathislordship’stable,

theconsumptionwasseldomlessthanfifty,sometimessixty

bottles,Thiswasstrange;andlookedasiftherewasmoreinit

thanmetthelipsoftheguests.HereuponIconsultedmyoracle

ofthescullery,whenceIderivedmostofmywisdom:forhe

broughtmeafaithfulaccountofallthatwassaidanddonein

thekitchen,wheretheyhadnottheleastsuspicionofhim.It

seemedthatthehavocofwhichIcomplainedproceededfromanew

confederacybetweentheclerkofthekitchen,thecook,andthe

underbutler.Thelattercarriedoffthebottleshalffull,and

sharedtheircontentswithhisallies,Ispoketohimonthe

subject,threateningtoturnhimandallthefootmenunderhim

outofdoorsataminute’swarning,ifevertheydidthelike

again.Thehintwasunderstood,andtheevilremedied.Itook

especialcarelesttheslightestofmyservicesshouldbelost

uponmymaster,whooverwhelmedmewithcommendations,andtooka

greaterlikingtomeeveryday.Onmypart,asarewardtothe

scullion,hewaspromotedtothesituationnextunderthecook.

TheNeapolitanwasfuriousatencounteringmeineverydirection.

Themostaggravatingcircumstanceofthewholewasthe

overhaulingofhisaccounts;for,toparehisnailsthecloser,I

hadgoneintothemarket,andinformedmyselfoftheprices.I

followedhimthroughallhisdoublings,andalwaystookoffthe

marketpennywhichhewantedtoadd.Hemusthavecursedmea

hundredtimesaday;butthecursesofthewickedfallin

blessingsonthegood.Iwonderhowhecouldstayinhisplace

undersuchdiscipline;butprobablysomethingstillstuckbythe

fingers.

Fabricio,whomIsawoccasionally,ratherblamedmyconductthan

otherwise.Heavengrant,saidhe,oneday,thatallthisvirtue

maymeetwithitsreward!Butbetweenourselvesyoumightaswell

bealittlemorepracticablewiththeclerkofthekitchen.What!

answeredI,shallthisfreebooterputaboldfaceuponthe

matter,andchargeafishattenpistolesinhisbill,which

costsonlyfour,andwouldyouhavemepassthearticlesinmy

accounts?Whynot?repliedhe,coolly.Hehasonlytoletyougo

snacksinthecommission,andthebookswillbebalancedinyour

favourbythecustomaryruleofstewardshiparithmetic.Uponmy

word,myfriend,youareenoughtooverturnallregularsystems

ofhousekeeping;andyouarelikelytoendyourdaysinalivery,

ifyoulettheeelslipthroughyourfingerswithoutskinningit.

Youaretolearnthatfortuneisaverywoman;readyandeagerto

surrender,butexpectingtheformalityofasummons.

Ionlylaughedatthisdoctrine;andNunezlaughedatittoo,

whenhefoundthatbadadvicewasthrownawayuponan

incorrigiblyhonestsubject.Hethenwishedtomakemebelieveit

wasallamerejoke.Atallevents,nothingcouldshakemy

resolutiontoactformyemployerasformyself.Indeedmy

actionscorrespondedwithmywordsonthatsubject;forImay

venturetosaythatinfourmonthsmymastersavedatleastthree

thousandducatsbymythrift.

CH.XVI.—AnaccidenthappenstotheCountdeGaliano’smonkey;

hislordship’safflictiononthatoccasion.TheillnessofGil

Blas,anditsconsequences.

ATtheexpirationofthebefore-mentionedtime;thereposeofthe

familywasmarvellouslytroubledbyanaccident,whichwill

appearbutatrifletothereader;andyetitwasaveryserious

mattertothehousehold,especiallytome.Cupid,themonkeyof

whomIwasspeaking,thatanimal,somuchtheidolofourlord

andmaster,attemptingtoleapfromonewindowtoanother,

performedsoillastofallintothecourtandputhislegoutof

joint.Nosoonerwerethefataltidingscarriedtothecount,

thanhesungadirgewhichpealedthroughalltheneighbourhood.

Intheextremityofhissufferings,everyinmatewithout

exceptionwastakentotask,andwewereallwithinaninchof

beingpackedoffaboutourbusiness.Butthestormonlyrumbled

withoutfalling;hegaveusandournegligencetothedevil,

withoutbeingbyanymeansselectinthetermsofthebequest.

Themostnotoriousofthefacultyinthelineoffracturesand

dislocationsweresentfor.Theyexaminedthepoordearleg,set,

andbounditup.Butthoughtheyallgaveitastheiropinion

thattherewasnodanger,mymastercouldnotbesatisfied

withoutretainingthemosteminentaboutthepersonofthe

animal,tillhecouldbepronouncedtobeinastateof

convalescence.

Itwouldbeamanifestinjusticetothefamilyaffectionsofhis

Sicilianlordship,nottocommemoratealltheagonizing

sensationsofhissoulduringthisperiodofpainfulsuspense.

Woulditbethoughtpossiblethatthistendernursedidnotstir

fromhisdarlingCupid’sbedsideallthelive-longday?The

bandageswereneveralteredoradjustedbutinhispresence,and

hegotuptwoorthreetimesinthenighttoinquireafterhis

patient.Themostprovokingpartofthebusinesswas,thatall

theservants,andmyselfinparticular,wererequiredtobe

eternallyonthealert,toanticipatetheslightestwishesof

thisridiculousbaboon.Inshort,therewasnopeaceinthe

house,tillthecursedbeast,havingrecoveredfromtheeffects

ofitsfall,gotbackagaintohisoldtricksandwhirligigs.

Afterthisshallwebemealy-mouthedaboutbelievingSuetonius,

whenhetellsusthatCaligulacaredmoreforhishorsethanfor

alltheworldbesides,thathegavehimmorethanthe

establishmentandattendanceofasenator,andthatheeven

wantedtomakehimconsul?Ourwisemasterstoppedlittleshort

oftheemperorinhispartialitytothemonkey;andhadserious

thoughtsofpurchasingforhimtheplaceofcorregidor.

Minewastheworstluckofanyinthefamily;forIhadsotopped

mypartabovealltheotherservants,bywayofpayingmycourt

tohislordship,andhadnursedpoordearCupidwithsuch

assiduity,astothrowmyselfintoafitofillness.Aviolent

feverseizedme,sothatIwasalmostatdeath’sdoor.Theydid

whattheypleasedwithmeforawholefortnight,withoutmy

consciousness;forthephysiciansandthefateswereboth

conspiringagainstme.Butmyyouthwasmorethanamatchforthe

feverandtheprescriptionsunited.WhenIrecoveredmysenses,

thefirstuseImadeofthemwastoobservemyselfremovedto

anotherroom.Iwantedtoknowwhy;andaskedanoldwomanwho

nursedme:butshetoldmethatImustnottalk,asthephysician

hadexpresslyforbiddenit.Whenwearewell,weturnupour

nosesatthedoctors;butwhenwearesick,weareasmuchlike

oldwomenasthemselves.

Itseemedbestthereforetokeepsilence,thoughwithan

inveteratelongingtoholdconversewithmyattendantIwas

debatingthepointinmyownmind,whentherecameintwo

foppish-lookingfellows,dressedintheveryextremeoffashion.

Nothinglessthanvelvetwouldservetheirturn,withlinenand

lacetocorrespond.Theylookedlikemenofrank;andIcould

haveswornthattheyweresomeofmymaster’sfriendscometosee

meoutofregardforhim.UnderthatimpressionIattemptedto

situp,andflungawaymynightcaptolookgenteel;butthenurse

forcedmeunderthebedclothesagain,andtuckedmeup,

announcingthesegentlemenatthesametime,asmyphysicianand

apothecary.

Thedoctorcameuptomybedside,feltmypulse,lookedinmy

face;anddiscoveringundeniablesymptomsofapproaching

convalescence,assumedanairoftriumph,asifitwasallhis

handiwork;andsaidtherewasnothingwantingbuttokeepthe

bowelsopen,andthenheflatteredhimselfhemightboastof

havingperformedanextraordinarycure.Speakingafterthis

manner,hedictatedaprescriptiontotheapothecary,lookingin

theglassallthetime,adjustingthedressofhishair,and

twistinghisvisageintoshapeswhichsetmelaughinginspiteof

mydebility.Atlengthhetookhisleavewithaslight

inclinationofthehead,andwenthisway,moretakenwiththe

contemplationofhisownprettyperson,thananxiousaboutthe

successofhisremedies.

Afterhisdeparture,theapothecary,nottohavethetroubleofa

visitfornothing,madereadytoproceedasitisprescribedin

certaincases.Whetherhewasafraidthattheoldwoman’sskill

wasnotequaltotheexigency,orwhetherhemeanttoenhancehis

ownservicesbyassiduity,hechosetooperateinperson;butin

spiteofpracticeandexperience,accidentswillhappen.Hasteto

returnbenefitsisamongthemostamiablepropensitiesofour

nature;andsuchwasmyeagernessnottobebehindhandwithmy

benefactor,thathisvelvetdressboreimmediatetestimonytothe

profusenessofmygratitude.Thisheconsideredmerelyasoneof

thoselittleoccurrenceswhichchequerthefortunesofthe

pharmaceuticalprofession.Anapkinisaresourceforeverything

inasickroom,andleastsaidwassoonestmended;sohewiped

himselfquietly,vowingindemnityandvengeancetohimselffor

thenecessityunderwhichheunquestionablylabouredofsending

hisclothestothescourer.

Onthefollowingmorninghereturnedtotheattackmoremodestly

equipped,thoughtherewasthennoriskofmyspringinga

countermine,ashehadonlytoadministerthepotionwhichthe

doctorhadprescribedtheeveningbefore.BesidesthatIfelt

myselfgettingbettereverymoment,Ihadtakensuchadislike,

sincethedaybefore,tothepill-dispensingtribe,astocurse

theveryuniversitieswherethesegraduatedcut-throatskept

theirexercisesinthefacultyofslaying.Inthistemperof

mind,Ideclared,witharoundoath,thatIwouldnotacceptof

healththroughsuchamedium,butwouldwillinglymakeover

Hippocratesandhismyrmidonstothedevil.Theapothecary,who

didnotcareadoitwhatbecameofhiscompound,ifitwasbut

paidfor,leftthephialonthetable,andstalkedawayin

Telamoniansilence.

Iimmediatelyorderedthatbitchofamedicinetobethrownout

ofwindow,havingsetmyselfsodoggedlyagainstit,thatIwould

assoonhaveswallowedarsenic.Havingoncedrawnthesword,I

threwawaythescabbard;anderectingmytongueintoan

independentpotentate,toldmynurseinadeterminedtone,that

shemustabsolutelyinformmewhatwasbecomeofmymaster.The

oldlady,fearinglestthedevelopmentofthemysterymight

completelyoversetme,orthinkingpossiblythatherpreymight

escapeoutofherclutchesforwantofalittleirritating

contradiction,wasmostprovokinglymute;butIwassopressing

inmydemandtobeobeyed,thatsheatlengthgavemeadecisive

answer:Worthysir,youhavenolongeranymasterbutyourown

will.CountGalianoisgonebackintoSicily.

Icouldnotbelievemyears;andyetitwasfatallythefact.

Thatnobleman,ontheseconddayofmyindisposition,being

afraidofharbouringdeathunderthesameroofwithhim,hadthe

benevolencetosendmepackingwithmylittleeffectstoaready-furnishedroom,whereprovidencewaslefttocure,oranurseto

killme,asithappened.Whilethealternativewastotteringon

thebalance,hewasorderedbackintoSicily,andintheheadlong

hasteofhisobedience,neverthoughtaboutme;whetheritwas

thathenumberedmealreadyamongthedeath,orthatgreatlords,

likegreatwits,haveshortmemories.

Mynursegavemetheseparticulars,andinformedmethatitwas

shewhohadcalledinaphysicianandanapothecary,thatImight

notdiewithoutprofessionalhonours.Ifellintoprofoundmusing

atthisfinestory.Farewellmybrilliantestablishmentin

Sicily!Farewellmybuddinghopesandblushinghonours!Whenany

greatmisfortuneshallhavebefallenyou,saysacertainpope,

lookwelltoyourownconduct,andyouwillfindthatthereis

alwayssomethingwrongatthebottomofit.Withallreverent

submissiontohisholiness,Icannothelpthinkingmyselfinthis

instanceanexceptiontotheinfallibilityofhismaxim.Howthe

deucewasItoblameforbeingvisitedbyafever?Therewasmore

reasonforremorseinthemonkeyorhismasterthaninme.

WhenIbeheldtheflatteringchimeraswithwhichmyheadwas

filled,allvanishingintoair,intothinair,thefirstthing

thatworriedmypoorbrainwasmyportmanteau,whichIorderedto

belaiduponmybedtoexamineit.Igroanedheavilyon

discoveringthatithadbeenopened.Alas!mydearportmanteau,

exclaimedI,myonlyhope,consolation,andrefuge!Youhave

been,toallappearance,aprisonerinanenemy’scountry.No,

no,SignorGilBlas,saidtheoldwoman,makeyourselfeasyon

thathead;youhavenotfallenamongthieves.Yourbaggageisas

immaculateasmyhonour.

IfoundthedressIhadonatmyfirstentranceintothecount’s

service;butitwasinvaintolookforthatwhichmyfriendfrom

Messinahadorderedformeasamemberofthehousehold.My

masterhadnotthoughtfittoleavemeinpossessionofit,or

elsesomeonehadmadefreewithit.Allmyotherlittlematters

weresafe,andevenalargeleatherpursewithmycoininit,

whichIcountedovertwice,notbeingabletobelieveatfirst

thattherecouldbeonlyfiftypistolesremainingoutoftwo

hundredandsixty,whichwasthebalanceoftheaccountbeforemy

illness.Whatisthemeaningofallthis,mygoodlady?saidIto

thenurse.Hereisaleakinthevessel.Nolivingsoulbut

myselfhastouchedafarthing,answeredtheoldwoman,andIhave

beenasgoodaneconomistforyouaspossible.Butillnessis

veryexpensive;onemustalwayshaveone’smoneyinone’shand.

Here!addedthisexcellenteconomist,takingabundleofpapers

outofherpocket,thisisastatementofdebtorandcreditor,as

exactasabanker’sbook,andyouwillseethatIhavenotlaid

outtheveriesttrifleinneed-nots.

Iranovertheaccountwithahastyglance;foritextendedto

fifteenortwentypages.Mercyonus!Thepoulterers’shopsmust

havebeenexhausted,whileIwasintooweakastatetotake

sustenance!Theremusthavebeenatleasttwelvepistolesstewed

downintobroths.Otherarticlesweremuchtothesametune.It

wasincrediblewhatasumhadbeenlavishedinfiring,candles,

water,brooms,andinnumerablearticlesofhousekeepingandhouse

cleaning.Afterall,extortionateasthebillwas,theutmost

ingenuitycouldnotraiseitabovethirtypistoles,and

consequentlytherewasadeficiencyofahundredandeightyto

maketheaccounteven.Ijustventuredtopointthatout;butthe

oldwoman,withashewofsimplicityandcandour,putallthe

saintsinthecalendarintorequisitiontoattestthattherewere

nomorethaneightypistolesinthepursewhenthecount’s

stewardgaveherchargeofthewallet.Whatsayyou,mygood

woman,interruptedIwithprecipitation:wasitthestewardwho

placedmyeffectsinyourhands?Tobesureitwas,answeredshe,

theveryman,andwiththispieceofadvice:Here,goodmother,

whenGilBlasshallbenumberedwiththedead,donotfailto

treathimwithahandsomefuneral;thereisinthiswallet

wherewithaltodefraytheexpenses.

Ah!mostpestiferousNeapolitan!exelaimedIinthebitternessof

myheart.Iamnolongeratalosstoconjecturewhatisbecome

ofthedeficiency.Youhavesweptitoffasanindemnityfora

partoftheplunderwhichIhavepreventedyoufrommakingfree

with.Afterrelievingmymindbyexclamations,Ireturnedthanks

toheaventhatthescoundrelhadbeensomodestasnottotake

thewhole.YetwhateverreasonIhadforbelievingtheactionto

beperfectlyincharacterforthepersontowhomitwasimputed,

thenursehadnotaltogetherclearedherselffrommysuspicions.

Theyhoveredsometimesoveroneandsometimesovertheother;but

letthemlightwheretheywould,itwasallthesametome.I

saidnothingaboutthemattertotheoldwoman;notevensomuch

astohaggleabouttheitemsofherfinebill.Ishouldnothave

beenanatomthericherfordoingso;andwemustalllivebyour

trades.Theutmostofmymalicewastopayherandsendher

packingthreedaysafterwards.

Iaminclinedtothinkthatatherdepartureshegavethe

apothecarynoticeofherquittingthepremises,andhavingleft

mesufficientlyinpossessionofmyselftotakeFrenchleave

withoutacknowledgingmyobligationstohim;forshehadnotbeen

gonemanyminutesbeforehecameinpuffingandblowing,withhis

billinhishand.There,undernameswhichhadescapedmy

conscription,thoughasarrantaphysicianastheworstofthem,

hehadsetdownallthehypotheticalremedieswhichheinsisted

thatIhadtakenduringthetimewhenIcouldtakenothing.This

billmighttrulybecalledtheepitomeofanapothecary’s

conscience.Suchbeingthecase,wehadabustleaboutthe

payment.Ipleadedforanabatementofone-half.Hesworethathe

wouldnottakeadoitlessthanhisjustdemand.Hekepthisoath

andyetrelaxed;forconsideringthathehadtodowithayoung

manwhomightrunawayfromMadridwithinfour-and-twentyhours,

hepreferredmyofferofthreehundredpercent,ontheprime

costofhisdrugs,thoughapitifulprofitforanapothecary,to

theriskoflosingall.Icountedoutthemoneywithanaching

heart,andhewithdrew,chucklingoverhisrevengeforthescurvy

trickIhadplayedhimonthedayofevacuation.

Thephysicianmadehisappearancenext;forbeastsofprey

inhabitthesamelatitudes.Ifee’dhimforhisvisits,whichhad

beenquiteasfrequentasnecessary,andhisobjectwasanswered.

Buthewouldnotleavemewithoutprovinghowhardlyhehad

earnedhismoney,forthathehadnotonlyexpelledtheenemy

fromtheinterior,buthaddefendedthefrontiersfromtheattack

ofallthedisordersonthearmylistofthemateriamedica.He

talkedverylearnedly,withgoodemphasisanddiscretion;somuch

so,thatIdidnotcomprehendonewordhesaid.WhenIhadgot

ridofhim,Iflatteredmyselfthatthedestinieshadnowdone

theirworst.ButIwasmistaken;fortherecameasurgeonwhose

faceIhadneverseeninthewholecourseofmylife.Heaccosted

meverypolitely,andcongratulatedmeontheimminentdangerI

hadescaped;attributingthehappyissueofmycomplaintsto

thosewhichhehadhimselfcut,withtheprofuseapplicationof

bleeding,cupping,blistering,andallsortsoftorments,

consequentandinconsequent.Anotherfeatheroutofmypoorwing!

Iwasobligedtopaytolltothesurgeonalso.Aftersomany

purgatives,mypursewasbroughttosuchastateofdebility,

thatitmightbeconsideredasdeadandgone;amereskeleton,

drainedofallitsvitaljuices.

Myspiritsbegantoflag,onthecontemplationofmywretched

case.IntheserviceofmytwolastmastersIhadweddedmyself

tothepompsandvanitiesofthiswickedworld;andcouldno

longer,asheretofore,lookpovertyinthefacewiththe

sternnessofacynic.Itmustbeowned,however,thatIwasin

thewrongtogivewaytomelancholy,afterexperiencingsooften

thatfortunehadnevercastmedown,butforthepurposeof

raisingmeupagain;sothatmypitifulplightatthepresent

moment,ifrightlyconsidered,wasonlytobehailedasthe

harbingerofapproachingprosperity.

BOOKTHEEIGHTH.

CH.I.—GilBlasscrapesanacquaintanceofsomevalue,and

findswherewithaltomakehimamendsfortheCountdeGaliano’s

ingratitude.DonValeriodeLuna’sstory.

ITseemedsostrangetohaveheardnotasyllablefromNunez

duringthislonginterval,thatIconcludedhemustbeinthe

country.IwenttolookafterhimassoonasIcouldwalk,and

foundthefacttobe,thathehadgoneintoAndalusiathreeweeks

ago,withtheDukeofMedinaSidonia.

Onemorningwhenrubbingmyeyesafterasoundsleep,Melchiorde

laRondastartedintomyrecollection;andthatbringingtomind

mypromiseatGrenada,ofgoingtoseehisnephew,ifeverI

shouldreturntoMadrid,itseemedadvisablenottodefer

fulfillingmypromiseforasingleday.IinquiredwhereDon

BalthazardeZunigalived,andwentthitherstraightway.On

askingifSignorJosephNavarrowasathome,hemadehis

appearanceimmediately.Weexchangedbowswithawell-bred

coolnessonhispart,thoughIhadtakencaretoannouncemyname

audibly.Therewasnoreconcilingsuchafrostyreceptionwith

theglowingportraitascribedtothisparagonofthebuttery.I

wasjustgoingtowithdrawinthefulldeterminationofnot

comingagain,whenassumingallatonceanopenandsmiling

aspect,hesaidwithconsiderableearnestness:Ah!SignorGil

BlasdeSantillane,prayforgivetheformalityofyourwelcome.

Mymemoryillsecondedthewarmthofmydispositiontowardsyou.

Yournamehadescapedme,andwasnotatthemomentidentified

withthegentleman,ofwhommentionwasmadeinaletterfrom

Grenadamorethanfourmonthsago.

HowhappyIamtoseeyou!addedhe,shakinghandswithmemost

cordially.MyuncleMelchior,whomIloveandhonourlikemy

naturalfather,chargesme,ifbychanceIshouldhavethehonour

ofseeingyou,toentertainyouashisownson,andincaseof

need,tostretchmyowncreditandthatofmyfriendstothe

utmostinyourbehalf.Heextolsthequalitiesofyourheartand

mindintermssufficientofthemselvestoengagemeinyour

service,thoughhisrecommendationhadnotbeenaddedtothe

othermotives.Considerme,therefore,Ientreatyou,as

participatinginallmyuncle’ssentiments.Youmaydependonmy

friendship;letmehopeforanequalshareinyours.

IrepliedtoJoseph’spoliteassurancesinsuitabletermsof

acknowledgment;sothatbeingbothofuswarm-headedandsincere,

acloseintimacysprungupwithoutwaitingforcommonforms.I

feltnoembarassmentaboutlayingopenthestateofmyaffairs.

ThisIhadnosoonerdone,thanhesaid:Itakeuponmyselfthe

careoffindingyouasituation;meanwhile,thereisaknifeand

forkforyouhereeveryday.Youwillliveratherbetterthanat

anordinary.Thisofferwassuretobewellrelishedbyan

invalidjustrecoveringwithafastidiouspalateandanempty

pocket.Itcouldnotbutbeaccepted;andIpickedupmycrumbs

sofastthatattheendofafortnightIbegantolooklikea

rosy-gilledsonofthechurch.ItstruckmethatMelchior’s

nephewlardedhisleansidestosomepurpose.Buthowcoulditbe

otherwise?hehadthreestringstohisbow,asholdingthe

undermentionedpluralities:thebutler’splace,theclerkshipof

thekitchen,andthestewardship.Furthermore,withoutmeaningto

questionmyfriend’shonesty,theydosaythatthecomptrollerof

thehouseholdandhelookedovereachother’shands.

Myrecoverywasentirelyconfirmed,whenmyfriendJoseph,onmy

comingintodinnerasusualoneday,saidwithanairof

congratulation:SignorGilBlas,Ihaveaverytolerable

situationinviewforyou.YoumustknowthattheDukeofLerma,

firstministerofthecrowninSpain,givinghimselfupentirely

tostateaffairs,throwstheburdenofhisownontwo

confidentialpersons.DonDiegodeMontesertakesthechargeof

collectinghisrents,andDonRodrigodeCalderonasuperintends

thefinancesofhishousehold.Thesetwoofficersareparamount

intheirdepartments,havingnothingtodowithoneanother.Don

Diegohasgenerallytwodeputiestotransactthebusiness;and

findingjustnowthatoneofthemhadbeendischarged,Ihave

beencanvassingforyou.SignorMonteserhavingthegreatest

possibleregardforme,grantedmyrequestatonce,onthe

strengthofmytestimonytoyourmoralsandcapacity.Wewillpay

ourrespectstohimafterdinner.

Wedidnotmissourappointment.Iwasreceivedwitheverymark

offavour,andpromotedintheroomofthedismisseddeputy.My

businessconsistedinvisitingthefarms,ingivingordersfor

thenecessaryrepairs,indunningthefarmers,andkeepingthem

totimeintheirpayments;inaword,thetenantswereallunder

mythumb,andDonDiegocheckedmyaccountseverymonthwitha

minutenesswhichfewreceiverscouldhaveborne.Butthiswas

exactlywhatIwanted.Thoughmyuprightnesshadbeensoill

requitedbymylatemaster,itwasmyonlyinheritance,andIwas

determinednottosellthereversion.

OnedaynewscamethatthecastleofLermahadtakenfire,and

wasmorethanhalfburntdown.Iimmediatelywentthitherto

estimatetheloss.Informingmyselftoanicety,andonthe

spot,respectingalltheparticularsoftheunluckyaccident,I

drewupadetailednarrative,whichMontesershewedtotheDuke

ofLerma.Thatminister,thoughvexedatthecircumstance,was

struckwiththememorial,andinquiredwhowastheauthor.Don

Diegothoughtitnotenoughtoanswerthequestion,butspokeof

meinsuchhighterms,thathisexcellencyrecollecteditsix

monthsafterwards,onoccasionofanincidentIshallnowrelate,

haditnotbeenforwhichImightnever,perhaps,havebeen

employedatcourt.Itwasasfollows:—

TherelivedatthattimeinPrincesStreetanelderlylady,by

nameIn�silladeCantarilla.Herbirthwasamatterofmystery.

Somesaidshewasthedaughterofamusicalinstrument-maker,and

othersgaveherahighmilitaryextraction.Howeverthatmight

be,shewasaveryextraordinarypersonage.Naturehadgiftedher

withthesingulartalentofwinningmen’sheartsindefianceof

time,andincontradictiontoherownlaws;forshewasnow

enteringuponthefourthquarterofhercentury.Shehadbeenthe

reigningtoastoftheoldcourt,andleviedtributeonthe

passionsofthenew.Age,thoughatdaggersdrawnwithbeauty,

wascompletelyfoiledinitsassaultuponhercharms;theymight

besomewhatfaded,butthetouchofsympathytheyexcitedin

theirdeclinewasmorepleasingthatthevividglowoftheir

meridianlustre.Anairofdignity,atransportingwitand

humour,anunborrowedgraceinherdeportment,perpetuatedthe

reignofpassion,andsilencedthesuggestionsofreason.

DonValeriodeLuna,oneoftheDukeofLerma’ssecretaries,a

youngfellowoffive-and-twenty,meetingwithIn�silla,fell

violentlyinlovewithher.Hemadehissentimentsknown,enacted

allthemummeryofdespair,andfolloweduptheusualcatastrophe

ofeveryamorousdramasomuchaccordingtotheunitiesand

rules,thatitwasdifficult,intheverytorrentandwhirlwind

ofhispassion,tobegetatemperancethatmightgiveit

smoothness.Thelady,whohadherreasonfornotchoosingtofall

inwithhishumour,wasatalosshowtogetoutofthe

difficulty.Onedayshewasinhopestohavefoundthemeansby

callingtheyoungmanintohercloset,andtherepointingtoa

clockuponthetable.Marktheprecisehour,saidshe;just

seventy-fiveyearsagowasIbroughtuponthestageofthis

fantasticalworld.Ingoodearnest,woulditsitwelluponmy

timeoflifetobeengagedinaffairsofgallantry?Betake

yourselftoreflection,mygoodchild;stiflesentimentsso

unsuitabletoyourowncircumstancesandmine.Sensibleasthis

languagewas,thespark,nolongerbowingtotheauthorityof

reason,answeredtheladywithalltheimpetuosityofaman

rackedbythemostexcruciatingtorments:CruelIn�silla,why

haveyourecoursetosuchfrivolousremonstrances?Doyouthink

theycanchangeyourcharmsormydesires?Deludenotyourself

withsofalseahope.Aslongasyourlovelinessormydelusion

lasts,Ishallneverceasetoadoreyou.Well,then,rejoined

she,sinceyouareobstinateenoughtopersistintheresolution

ofwearyingmewithyourimportunities,mydoorsshallhenceforth

beshutagainstyou.Youarebanished,andIbegtobenolonger

troubledwithyourcompany.

Itmaybesupposed,perhaps,thatafterthis,DonValerio,

baffled,madegoodhisretreatlikeaprudentgeneral.Quitethe

reverse!Hebecamemoretroublesomethanever.Loveistolovers

justwhatwineistodrunkards.Theswainintreated,sighed,

looked,andsighedagain;whenallatonce,changinghisnote

fromchildishtrebletothebigmanlyvoiceofblusterand

ravishment,hesworethathewouldhavebyfoulmeanswhathe

couldnotobtainbyfair.Butthelady,repulsinghim

courageously,saidwithapiercinglookofstrongresentment,

Hold,imprudentwretch!Ishallputacurbonyourmadcareer.

Learnthatyouaremyownson.

DonValeriowasthunderstruckatthesewords;thetempestofhis

ragesubsided.But,conjecturingthatInesillahadonlystarted

thisdevicetoridherselfofhissolicitations,heanswered,

Thatisamereromanceofthemomenttostealawayfrommyardent

desires.No,no,saidshe,interruptinghim,Idiscloseamystery

whichshouldhavebeenforeverburied,hadyounotreducedmeto

sopainfulanecessity.Itissix-and-twentyyearssinceIwasin

lovewithyourfather,DonPedrodeLuna,thengovernorof

Segovia;youwerethefruitofourmutualpassion:heownedyou,

broughtyouupwithcareandtenderness,andhavingnochildren

borninwedlock,hehadnothingtohinderhimfromdistinguishing

yourgoodqualitiesbythegiftsoffortune.Onmypart,Ihave

notforsakenyou;assoonasyouwereofanagetobeintroduced

intotheworld,Idrewyouintothecircleofmyacquaintance,to

formyourmannerstothatpolishofgoodcompany,sonecessary

foragentleman,whichisonlytobegainedinfemalesociety.I

havedonemore:Ihaveemployedallmycredittointroduceyouto

theprimeminister.Inshort,Ihaveinterestedmyselfforyouas

Ishouldhavedoneformyownson.Afterthisconfession,take

yourmeasuresaccordingly.Ifyoucanpurgeyouraffectionsfrom

theirdross,andlookonmeasamother,youarenotbanished

frommypresence,andIshalltreatyouwithmyaccustomed

tenderness.Butifyouarenotequaltoaneffort,whichnature

andreasondemandfromyou,flyinstantly,andreleasemefrom

thehorrorofbeholdingyou.

Inesillaspoketothiseffect.MeanwhileDonValeriopreserveda

suddensilence:itmighthavebeeninterpretedintoavirtuous

struggle,aconquestovertheweaknessofhisheart.Buthis

purposeswerefardifferent;hehadanotherscenetoactbefore

hismother.Unabletowithstandthetotaloverthrowofallhis

wildprojects,hebaselyyieldedtodespair.Drawinghissword,

heplungeditinhisownbosom.Hisfateresembledthatof

Oedipus,withthisdistinction;thattheThebanputouthisown

eyesfromremorseforthecrimehehadperpetrated,whilethe

Castilian,onthecontrary,committedsuicidefromdisappointment

atthefrustrationofhispurposes.

TheunhappyDonValeriowasnotreleasedfromhissufferings

immediately.Hehadleisureleftforrecollection,andformaking

hispeacewithheaven,beforeherushedintothepresenceofhis

Maker.AshisdeathvacatedoneofthesecretaryshipsontheDuke

ofLerma’sestablishment,thatminister,nothavingforgottenmy

memoironthesubjectofthefire,northehighcharacterhehad

heardofme,nominatedmetosucceedtothepostinquestion.

CH.II.—GilBlasisintroducedtotheDukeofLerma,who

admitshimamongthenumberofhissecretaries,andrequiresa

specimenofhistalents,withwhichheiswellsatisfied.

MONTESERwasthepersontoinformmeofthisagreeable

circumstance,whichhedidinthefollowingterms:MyfriendGil

Blas,thoughIdonotloseyouwithoutregret,Iamtoomuchyour

well-wishernottobedelightedatyourpromotionintheroomof

DonValerio.Youcannotfailtomakeaprincelyfortune,provided

youactupontwohintswhichIhavetogiveyou:thefirst,to

affectsototaladevotiontohisexcellency’sgoodpleasure,as

toleavenoroomtoconceiveitpossiblethatyouhaveanyother

objectorinterestinlife—thesecond,topayyourcourt

assiduouslytoSignorDonRodrigodeCalderona;forthat

personagemodelsandremodels,fashionsandtouchesuponthemind

ofhismaster,justasifitwasclayunderthehandsofthe

designer.Ifyouarefortunateenoughtochimeinwiththat

favouritesecretary,youwilltravelposttowealthandhonour,

andfindrelaysupontheroad.

Sir,saidItoDonDiego,returninghimthanksatthesametime

forhisgoodadvice,bepleasedtogivesomelittleopeningto

DonRodrigo’scharacter.Ihaveheardafewanecdotesofhim.One

wouldsupposehim,fromsomeaccounts,nottobethebest

creatureintheworld;butthepeopleatlargeareinveterate

caricaturistswhentheydrawcourtiersatfulllength;though,

afterall,thelikenesswillstrike,inspiteoftheaggravation.

Tellme,therefore,Ibeseechyou,whatisyourownsincere

opinionofSignorCalderona.Thatisratheranawkwardquestion,

answeredmyprincipalwithanironicalsmile.Ishouldtellany

onebutyourself,withoutflinching,thathewasagentlemanof

thestrictesthonour,uponwhosefairfamethebreathofcalumny

hadneverdaredtoblow;butIreallycannotputoffsuchacopy

ofmycountenanceuponyou.RelyingasIdoonyourdiscretion,

itbecomesadutytodealcandidlyinthedelineationofDon

Rodrigo;forwithoutthat,itwouldbeplayingfastandloose

withyoutorecommendthecultivationofhisgoodwill.

Youaretoknowthen,thatwhenhisexcellencywasnomorethan

plainDonFranciscodeSandoval,thismanhadthehumilityto

servehimashislackey;sincewhichtimehehasrisenbydegrees

tothepostofprincipalsecretary.Aprouderexcrescenceofthe

dunghillneversprungintovegetationonasummer’sday.He

considershimselfastheDukeofLerma’scolleague;andinpoint

offact,hemaytrulybesaidtoparcelouttheloavesandfishes

ofadministration,sincehegivesawayofficesandgovernmentsat

thesuggestionsofhisowncaprice.Thepublicgrumblesand

growlsuponoccasion;butwhocaresforthegrumblingand

growlingofthepublic?Lethimstealapairofglovesfromthe

prostitutionofpoliticalhonour,andthebronzeuponhis

foreheadwillbeproofagainstthepeltingsofscandal.WhatI

havesaidwilldecideyourdealingstowardssosuperciliousa

compoundofdustandashes.Yes,tobesure,saidI;leaveme

aloneforthatItwillbestrangeindeedifIcannotwriggle

myselfintohisgoodgraces.Ifonecanbutgetontheblindside

ofamanwhoistobemadeaproperty,itmustbewantofskill

intheplayerifthegameislost.Exactlyso,repliedMonteser;

andnowIwillintroduceyoutotheDukeofLerma.

Wewentatoncetotheminister,whomwefoundinhisaudience-chamber.Hisleveewasmorecrowdedthantheking’s.Therewere

commandersandknightsofStJamesandofCalatrava,making

interestforgovernmentsandviceroyalties;bishopswho,

labouringunderoppressionofthebreathandtightnessofthe

chestintheirowndioceses,hadbeenrecommendedtheairofan

archbishopricbytheirphysicians;whilethesounderlungsof

lowerdignitarieswerestrongenoughtoinhaletheTheban

atmosphereofasuffragansee.Iobservedbesidessomereduced

officersdancingattendancetoCaptainChinchilla’stune,and

catchingcoldinfishingforapension,whichwasneverlikelyto

paythedoctorfortheircure.Ifthedukedidnotsatisfytheir

wants,heputapleasantfaceupontheirimportunities;andit

struckmethathereturnedacivilanswertoallapplicants.

Wewaitedpatientlytilltheroutineofceremonywasdespatched.

ThensaidDonDiego:Mylord,thisisGilBlasdeSantillane,the

youngmanappointedbyyourexcellencytosucceedDonValerio.

Thedukenowtookmoreparticularnoticeofme,saying

obligingly,thatIhadalreadyearnedmypromotionbymy

services.Hethentookmetoaprivateconferenceinhiscloset,

orrathertoanexamination.Mybirth,parentage,andcourseof

lifeweretheobjectsofhisinquiry;norwouldhebesatisfied

withouttheparticulars,andthoseinthespiritofsincerity.

Whatacareertorunoverbeforeapatron!Yetitwasimpossible

tolie,inthepresenceofaprimeminister.Ontheotherhand,

myvanitywasconcernedinsuppressingsomanycircumstances,

thattherewasnoventuringonanunqualifiedconfession.What

cunningscenehadRosciusthentoact?Alittlepaintingand

tattooingmightdecentlybeemployedtodisguisethenakednessof

truth,andspareherunsophisticatedblushes.Buthehadstudied

hercomplexion,aswellasthebeautiesofhernaturalform.

MonsieurdeSantillane,saidhewithasmileonthecloseofmy

narrative,Iperceivethathithertoyouhavehadyourprinciples

tochoose.Mylord,answeredI,colouringuptotheeyes,your

excellencyenjoinedmetodealsincerely;andIhavecomplied

withyourorders.Itakeyourdoingsoingoodpart,repliedhe.

Itisallverywell,mygoodfellow:youhaveescapedfromthe

snaresofthiswickedworldmorebyluckthanmanagement:itis

wonderfulthatbadexampleshouldnothavecorruptedyou

irreparably.Therearemanymenofstrictvirtueandexemplary

piety,whowouldhaveturnedoutthegreatestroguesin

existence,iftheirdestinieshadexposedthemtobuthalfyour

trials.

FriendSantillane,continuedtheminister,pondernolongeron

thepast;consideryourselfastotheveryboneandmarrowthe

king’s;livehenceforthbutforhisservice.Comethisway;I

willinstructyouinthenatureofyourbusiness.Hecarriedme

intoalittleclosetadjoininghisown,whichcontainedascore

ofthickfolioregisters.Thisisyourworkshop,saidhe.All

theseregisterscomposeanalphabeticalpeerage,givingthe

heraldryandhistoryofallthenobilityandgentryinthe

severalkingdomsandprincipalitiesoftheSpanishmonarchy.In

thesevolumesarerecordedtheservicesrenderedtothestateby

thepresentpossessorsandtheirancestors,descendingevento

thepersonalanimositiesandrencountersoftheindividualsand

theirhouses.Theirfortunes,theirmanners,inaword,allthe

prosandconsoftheircharacteraresetdownaccordingtothe

letterofministerialscrutiny;sothattheynosoonerenteron

thelistofcourtcandidates,thatmyeyecatchesupthevery

chapterandverseoftheirpretensions.Tofurnishthisnecessary

information,Ihavepensionedscoutseverywhereonthelook-out,

whosendmeprivatenoticesoftheirdiscoveries;butasthese

documentsareforthemostpartdrawnupinagossipingand

provincialstyle,theyrequiretobetranslatedintogentlemanly

language,orthekingwouldnotbeabletosupporttheperusalof

theregisters.Thistaskdemandsthepenofapoliteand

perspicuouswriter;Idoubtnotbutyouwilljustifyyourclaim

totheappointment.

Afterthisintroduction,heputamemorialintomyhand,taken

fromalargeportfoliofullofpapers,andthenwithdrewfrommy

closet,thatmyfirstspecimenmightbemanufacturedinallthe

freedomofsolitude.Ireadthememorial,whichwasnotonly

stuffedwithamostuncouthjargon,butbreathedabrimstone

spiritofrancourandpersonalrevenge.Thiswasmostfoul,

strange,andunnatural!forthehomilywaswrittenbyamonk.He

hackedandhewedaCatalanfamilyofsomenotemostunmercifully;

withwhatreasonortruth,itmustbereservedforamore

penetratinginquirertodecide.Itreadforalltheworldlikean

infamouslibel,andIhadsomescruplesaboutbecomingthe

publisherofthecalumny;nevertheless,youngasIwasatcourt,

Iplungedheadforemost,attheriskofsinkinganddestroying

hisreverence’ssoul.Thewickedness,iftherewasany,wouldbe

putdowntohisrunningaccountwiththerecordingangel;I

thereforehadnothingtodobuttovilify,inthepurestSpanish

phraseology,sometwoorthreegenerationsofhonestmenand

loyalsubjects.

Ihadalreadyblackenedfourorfivepages,whentheduke,

impatienttoknowhowIgoton,camebackandsaid—Santillane,

shewmewhatyouhavedone;Iamcurioustoseeit.Atthesame

time,castinghiseyeoverthetranscript,hereadthebeginning

withmuchattention.Itseemedtopleasehim;strangethathe

couldbesopleased!PrepossessedasIhavebeeninyourfavour,

observedhe,Imustownthatyouhavesurpassedmyexpectations.

Itisnotmerelytheeleganceanddistinctnessofthe

handwriting!Thereissomethinganimatedandglowinginthe

composition.Youwilldoamplecredittomychoice,andfully

makeupforthelossofyourpredecessor.Hewouldnothavecut

mypanegyricsoshort,ifhisnephewtheCountdeLemoshadnot

interruptedhiminthemiddleofit.Bythewarmthandfrequency

ofhisexcellency’swelcome,itwasevidentthattheywerethe

bestfriendsintheworld.Theywereimmediatelycloseted

togetheronsomefamilybusiness,ofwhichIshallspeakinthe

sequel.Theking’saffairsatthistimewereobligedtoplay

secondtothoseoftheminister.

Whiletheywerecaballingitstrucktwelve.AsIknewthatthe

secretariesandtheirclerksquittedofficeatthathourtogo

anddinewherevertheirbusinessanddesireshouldpointthem,I

leftmyprizeperformancebehindme,andwenttothegayest

tavernatthecourtendofthetown,forIhadnothingfurtherto

dowithMonteser,whohadpaidmysalary,andtakenhisleaveof

me.Butacommoneating-housewouldhavebeenaveryimproper

placeformetobeseenin.“Consideryourselfastothevery

boneandmarrowtheking’s.”Thismetaphoricalexpressionofthe

dukehadgivenbirthtoarealandtangibleambitioninmysoul,

whichputforthshootslikeaplantationinafatandunvexed

soil.

CH.III.—Allisnotgoldthatglitters.Someuneasiness

resultingfromthediscoveryofthatprincipleinphilosophy,and

itspracticalapplicationtoexistingcircumstances.

ITOOKespecialcare,onmyfirstentrance,toinstilintothe

tavern-keeper’sconceptionthatIwassecretarytotheprime

minister;norwasiteasy,inthatviewofmyrankand

consequence,toorderanythingsufficientlysumptuousfordinner.

Tohaveselectedfromthebilloffare,mighthavelookedasifI

descendedtothemeannessofcalculation;Ithereforetoldhimto

sendupthebestthehouseafforded.Myorderswerepunctually

obeyed;andtheanxiousassiduityoftheattendancepamperedmy

fancyasmuchasthedishesdidmypalate.Astothebill,Ihad

nothingtodowithitbuttopayit.Downwentapistoleuponthe

table,andthewaiterspocketedthedifference,whichwas

somewhatmorethanaquarter.AfterthisdisplayofgrandeurI

struttedout,practisingthoseobstreperousclearingsofthe

throatwhichannounce,byemptysound,theapproachofa

substantialcoxcomb.

Therewasatthedistanceoftwentyyardsalargehousewith

lodgingstolet,principallyfrequentedbyforeignnobility.I

rentedatonceasuiteofapartments,consistingoffiveorsix

roomselegantlyfurnished.Frommystyleofliving,anyonewould

havethoughtIhadtwoorthreethousandducatsofyearlyincome.

Thefirstmonthwaspaidinadvance.AfterwardsIreturnedto

business,andemployedthewholeafternooningoingonwithwhat

Ihadbeguninthemorning.Inaclosetadjoiningminetherewere

twoothersecretaries;buttheirofficewasonlytocopyout

fair.Igotacquaintedwiththemaswewereshuttingupforthe

evening;and,bywayofsmoothingthefirstoverturestowards

friendship,invitedthemhomewithmetomytavern,whereI

orderedthechoicestdelicaciesoftheseason,withaprofusion

ofthemostexquisitewines.

Wesatdowntotable,andbeganbandyingaboutmoremerriment

thanwit;forwithallduedeferencetomyguests,itwasbuttoo

visiblethattheyowedtheirofficialsituationstoany

circumstanceratherthantotheirabilities.Theywereadepts,it

mustbeconfessed,inallthehistoryandmysteryofscrivening

andclerkship;butasforpoliteliteratureanduniversity

education,therewasnotevenasuspicionofitinalltheir

talk.

Tomakeamendsforthatdefect,theyhadakeeneyetothemain

chance;andthoughsensiblehowhighanhonouritwastobeon

theprimeminister’sestablishment,thereweresomedashesof

acidinthecupofgoodfortune.Itisnowfullfivemonths,said

oneofthem,thatwehavebeenservingatourowncost.Wedonot

touchonefarthingofsalary;and,whatisworstofall,ourvery

boardwagesareshamefullyinarrear.Thereisnoknowingwhat

footingweareupon.Asforme,saidtheother,Iwouldwillingly

betieduptothehalbert,andreceiveapercentageinlashes,

forthelibertyofchangingmyberth;butIdarenoteithertake

myselfofforpetitionformydischarge,afterhavingtranscribed

suchstatesecretsashavepassedundermyinspection.Imight

chancetobecometoowellacquaintedwiththetowerofSegoviaor

thecastleofAlicant.

Howdoyoumanageforasubsistence,then?saidI.Youmustof

coursehavemeansofyourown.Thesetheyrepresentedasvery

slender;butthat,fortunatelyforthem,theylodgedwithakind-heartedwidow,whoboardedthemontick,attherateofahundred

pistolesayearforeachTheseanecdotesofacourtlife,notone

ofwhichescapedme,completelyventilatedalltherisingfumes

ofpride.Itcouldnotbesupposedthatmoreconsiderationwould

beshewntomethantoothers,andconsequentlytherewasnothing

tobesopuffedupwithinmypost;thereseemedtobemuchcry

andlittlewool,adiscoverywhichrendereditexpedientto

husbandmyfinanceswithanarrowereconomy.Apicturelikethis

wasenoughtocuremytastefortreating.Irepentednothaving

leftthesesecretariestofindtheirownsupper;fortheyplayed

amostcruelknifeandforkatmine!and,whenthebillwas

brought,Isquabbledwiththelandlordaboutthecharges.

Wepartedatmidnight;andtheearlybreakingupwastobelaid

atmydoor;forIdidnotproposeanotherbottle.Theywenthome

totheirwidow,andIwithdrewtomymagnificentlodgings,which

Iwasnowmadwithmyselfforhavingtaken,andwasfully

determinedtogiveupatthemonth’send.Mybedofdownwasnow

convertedintoacouchofthorns;sleephadabandonedhis

narcotictenement,andsoldthefee-simpleofmyreposetothe

demonofeternalwakefulness.Theremainderofthenightwas

passedincontrivingnottoservethestatetoopatriotically.

ForthatpurposeIbethoughtmeofMonteser’sgoodcounsel.Igot

upwiththeintentionofmakingmybowtoDonRodrigode

Calderona.Mypresenttemperwasjustpattothepurposeof

ingratiatingmyselfwithsohighandmightyagentleman;whose

patronagewasindispensabletomyexistence.Itherefore

presentedmypersoninthatsecretary’santechamber.

Hisapartmentscommunicatedwiththeduke’s,andrivalledthemin

thelustreoftheirdecorations.Thefieldofficercouldscarcely

bedistinguishedfromthesubalternbyanyoutwarddistinctionin

hisparaphernalia.IsentinmynameasDonValerio’ssuccessor;

butthatdidnothindermefrombeingkeptkickingmyheelsfora

goodhour.Trusty,butnoviceofficeroftheking,saidI,while

ruminatingoncourtmanners,leanalessonofpatience,ifso

pleaseyou.Youmustbeginwithshewingpacesyourself,and

afterwardsmakeothersbitethebridle.

Atlengththedooroftheinnerroomopened.Iwentin,and

advancedtowardsDonRodrigo,whohadjustbeenwritingan

amorousepistletohischarmingSiren,andwasgivingitto

Pedrilloatthatverymoment.Ihadnevermanufacturedmyface

andairintosuchacounterfeitofreverencebeforethe

ArchbishopofGrenada,noronmyintroductiontotheCountde

Galiano,noreveninpresenceoftheprimeministerhimself:the

crisisofmyfawningwasreservedforSignordeCalderona.Ipaid

myrespectstohimwithmybodybentdowntotheveryground,as

ifcrouchingunderthekenofasuperiorintelligence;and

solicitedhisprotectioninstrainsofhumblehypocrisy,atwhich

mycheeknowburnswithshame,tothinkthatmancansodebase

himselfbeforehisfellow-man.Myservilitywouldhaverecoiled

tomyownundoing,haditbeenpractisedtowardsacompoundof

anymanlyandindependentingredients.Asforthisfellow,he

swallowedflatterybythelumpwithoutmastication;andassured

me,justasifhemeantwhathesaid,thathewouldleaveno

stoneunturnedtodomeservice.

Hereupon,thankinghimwithunlimitedexpressionsofattachment

forhiskindandgeneroussentiments,Isoldmyverysoulandall

mylittlestockofconsciencetohisfreedisposal.Butasthis

farcemightbetiresomeifprolonged,Itookmyleave,

apologizingforhavingbrokeninuponhismoreserious

avocations.AssoonasIhadfinishedthisabominablescene,I

slunkbacktomydesk,whereIfinishedmyprescribedtask.The

dukewasatmyelbowthenextmorning.Theendofmyperformance

wasnotlesstohismindthanthebeginning;andhepraisedit

accordingly:Thisisextremelywellindeed!Copythisabridgment

inyourbesthandintotheregisterofCatalonia.Youshallnot

wantemploymentofthiskind.Ihadaverylongconversationwith

hisexcellency,andwasdelightedathismildandfamiliar

deportment.WhatacontrasttoCalderona!Theymighthavesatto

apainterforPanandApollo.

To-dayIdinedatacheapordinary,andsunkthesecretaryupon

mymessmates,tillIshouldascertainwhatsolidprofitmight

accruefromallmybowsandscrapes.Ihadfundsforthree

months,orthereabouts.ThatintervalIallowedmyselffor

castingmybreaduponthewaters.Butastheshortest

speculationsarethesafest,ifmysalarywasnotpaidbythat

time,alongfarewelltothecourt,itsfrippery,andits

falsehood!Thusweremyplansarranged.FortwomonthsIlaboured

hardandfasttostandwellwithCalderona:buthissenseswere

socalloustoallmyassiduity,thatitseemedlabourinvainto

buildonsohopelessafoundation.Thisideaproducedachangein

myconduct.Ileftsomegreenerfooltofumigatethenostrilsof

thisidol;andplacedallmyowndependenceonmakingmyground

surewiththeduke,bythebenefitofourfrequentconferences.

CH.IV.—GilBlasbecomesafavouritewiththeDukeofLerma,

andtheconfidantofanimportantsecret.

THOUGHhisgrace’sinterviewswithmewereshortasthefleeting

visionsofsupernaturalcommunication,myturnandcharacterwon

itswaygraduallyintohisexcellency’sgoodliking.Oneday

afterdinner,hesaid:Attendtome,GilBlas.Ireallylikeyou

verymuckYouareazealous,confidentiallad,fullof

understandinganddiscretion.Mytrustcannotbemisplacedin

suchhands.Ithrewmyselfathisfeet,atthemusicofthese

words;andkissinghisoutstretchedhand,answeredthus:Isit

possiblethatyourexcellencycanthinksofavourablyofyour

servant?Whatahostofenemieswillsuchapreferenceconjureup

againstme!ButDonRodrigoistheonlymanwhoseprivygrudgeis

formidableenoughtoalarmme.

Youhavenothingtofearfromthatquarter,repliedtheduke.I

knowCalderona.Hehaslovedmefromhiscradle.Everymovement

ofhisheartisinunisonwithmine.HecherisheswhateverI

love,andhatesinexactproportiontomydislike.Sofarfrom

beingalarmedathisill-will,youought,onthecontrary,tohug

yourselfonhispeculiarpartiality.Thisletmeatonceintothe

abyssesofDonRodrigo’scharacter.Heshuffledandcutthecards

tohisowndeal,andpaidhisdebtsofhonouroutofhis

excellency’spool.Onecouldnotbetoowarywiththisgentleman.

Tobegin,pursuedtheduke,withaproofmythoroughrelianceon

yourfaith,Iwillopentoyoualong-projecteddesign.Itis

necessaryforyoutobeinformedofit,toqualifyyouforthe

commissionswithwhichIshallhereafterhaveoccasiontointrust

toyou.ForagreatlengthoftimehaveIbeheldmyauthority

universallyrespected,mydecisionsimplicitlyadopted,places,

pensions,governments,viceroyalties,andchurchprefermentsall

awaitingmydisposal.Withoutumbragetomyroyalmaster,Imay

besaidtobeabsoluteinSpain.Myindividualfortunescanbe

pushednohigher.ButIwouldwillinglyfixfirmthestructureI

haveraised;forthestormsarealreadybeginningtobeatabout

thecitadelofmypeace.Myonlysafetymustconsistin

nominatingmynephew,theCountdeLemos,asmysuccessorinthe

ministry.

Thisprofoundcourtier,observingmyastonishment,wentonthus.

Iseeplainly,Santillane,Iseeplainlywhatsurprisesyou.It

seemsstrangeandunaccountablethatIshouldprefermynephewto

myownson,theDuked’Uzeda.Butyouaretolearnthatthislast

hastoonarrowageniustofillupmyplaceinpolitics;and

thereareotherreasonswhyIsetmyfaceagainsthim.Hehas

foundoutthesecretofmakinghimselfagreeabletotheking,who

wantshimforhisinteriorcabinet;andback-stairsinfluenceis

whatIcannotbear.Royalfavourisasortofpoliticalmistress;

exclusivepossessionisitsonlycharm.Theveryexistenceofthe

passionisidentifiedwithinextinguishablejealousy;norcanwe

thebetterenduretosharethebliss,becauseourrivalhasbeen

nursedinourownbosom.

ThusdoIlaybaretheveryrecessesofmysoul.Ihavealready

triedtoruintheDuked’Uzedawiththeking;buthavingfailed,

ampointingmyartillerytowardsanotherobject.Iamdetermined

thattheCountdeLemosshallstandfirstwiththePrinceof

Spain.Beinggentlemanofhisbedchamber,hehasopportunitiesof

talkingwithhimcontinually;and,besidesthathehasawinning

mannerwithhim,Iknowasuremethodofenablinghimtosucceed

inhisenterprise.Bythisdevice,mynephewwillbepitted

againstmyson.Thecousinsharbouringunfavourablesuspicionsof

eachother,willbothbeforcedtoplacethemselvesundermy

protection;andthenecessityofthecasewillrenderthem

submissivetomywill.Thisismyproject;norwillyour

assistancebeofslenderavailtoitssuccess.ItisyouwhomI

shallmaketheprivatechannelofcommunicationbetweentheCount

deLemosandmyself.

Afterthisconfidence,whichsoundedforalltheworldlikethe

clinkofcurrentcoin,mymindwaseasyaboutthefuture.At

length,saidI,beholdmetakingshelterunderPlutus’sgutter;

thegoldenshowermaydrenchmetotheskin,beforeIshallcry

hold,enough!Itisimpossiblethatthebosomfriendofaman,by

whomthewholemusicofthepoliticalmachineistempered,should

belefttothrumuponthediscordofpoverty.Fullofthese

harmoniousvisions,myfifthsandoctaveswerebutlittleuntuned

bythesensibledeclensionofmypurse.

CH.V.—Thejoys,thehonours,andthemiseriesofacourt

life,inthepersonofGilBlas.

THEminister’sgrowingpartialitytowardsmewassoonnoticed.He

displayeditostentatiously,bycommittinghisportfoliotomy

custody,whichitwashishabittocarryinhisownhandwhenhe

wenttocouncil.Thisnoveltycausingmetobelookeduponasa

risingfavourite,excitedtheenvyofcertainpersons,sothatI

waspreciouslysprinkledwiththehellishdewofcourt

malevolence.Mytwoneighboursthesecretarieswerenotthelast

tocomplimentmeonmybuddinghonours,andinvitedmetosupper

atthewidow’s,notsomuchbywayofreturningmyhospitality,

aswithaneyetobusinessinthecultivationofmyacquaintance.

Partiesweremadeformeeverywhere.EventhehaughtyDonRodrigo

wascap-in-handtome.HenowcalledmenothinglessthanSignor

deSantillane,thoughthemoonhadscarcelychangedherface

sincehethee’dandthou’dme,withouteverbethinkinghimthat

hewastalkingtosomethingaboveapauper.Heheapedmeupand

pressedmedownwithcivilities,especiallywithineyeshotofour

commonpatron.Butthefoolwaswiserthantobecaughtwith

chaff.Thegoodbreedingofmyreturnswasnicelyproportionedto

mythoroughdetestationofmyhumbleservant:arascalwhohad

livedincourtallhislifecouldnothaveplayedtherascal

betterthanIdid.

Ilikewiseaccompaniedmylorddukewhenhehadanaudienceof

theking,whichwasusuallythreetimesaday.Inthemorninghe

wentintohismajesty’schamberassoonashewasawake.Therehe

droppeddownonhismarrowbonesbythebedside,talkedover

whatwastobedoneinthecourseoftheday,andputintothe

royalmouththespeechestheroyaltonguewastomake.Hethen

withdrew.Afterdinnerhecamebackagain;notforstateaffairs,

butforwhat,what?andalittlegossip.Hewaswellinstructed

inallthetittle-tattleofMadrid,whichwassoldtohimatthe

earliestoftheseason.Lastly,intheeveninghesawtheking

againforthethirdtime,putwhatevercolourhepleasedonthe

transactionsoftheday,and,asamatterofcourse,requested

hisinstructionsforthemorrow.Whilehewaswiththeking,I

keptintheantechamber,wherepeopleofthefirstquality,

sinkingthattheymightrise,threwthemselvesinthewayofmy

observation,andthoughtthedaynotlostifIhaddeignedto

exchangeafewwordsofcommoncivilitywiththem.Wasittobe

wonderedat,ifmyself-importancefatteneduponsuchfood?There

aremanyfolksatcourt,whostalkaboutonstiltsofmuch

frailermaterials.

Onedaymyvanitywasstillmorehighlypampered.Theking,to

whomthedukehadpuffedoffmystyle,wascurioustoseea

sampleofit.Hisexcellencymademebringtheregisterof

Cataloniaandmyselfintotheroyalpresence;tellingmetoread

thefirstmemorialIhaddigested.Ifsocatholicacritic

overpoweredmymodestyatfirst,theminister’sencouragement

recalledmyscatteredspirits,andIreadwithgoodtoneand

emphasiswhathismajestydeignedtohearwithsomesymptomsof

approbation.Hespokehandsomelyofmyperformance,and

recommendedmyfortunestothespecialcareofhisminister.My

humilitywasnotthegreaterfortheaugmentationofmy

consequence;andaparticularconversationsomedaysafterwards

withtheCountdeLemosswelledhighthespringtideofallmy

ambitiousanticipations.

IwaitedonthatnoblemanfromhisuncleatthePrinceofSpain’s

court,andpresentedcredentialsfromtheduke,directinghimto

dealunreservedlywithme,aswithamanwhowasembarkedin

theirdesignandselectedbyhimselfexclusivelyastheirgo-between.Thecountthentookmetoaroom,wherehelockedthe

door,andthenspokeasfollows:Sinceyouareconfidentialwith

theDukeofLerma,Idoubtnotyoudeservetobeso,andshall

unbosommyselftoyouwithouthesitation.Youaretoknowthat

mattersgoonjustaswecouldwish.ThePrinceofSpain

distinguishesmeabovethemostassiduousofhiscourtiers.Ihad

aprivateconversationwithhimthismorning,whereinhe

expressedsomedisgustatbeingrestrainedbytheking’savarice

fromfollowingtheinclinationsofhisliberalheart,andliving

onascalebefittinghisaugustrank.OnthisheadIchimedin

withhisregrets;andtakingadvantageoftheopportunity,

promisedtocarryhimathousandpistolesearlyto-morrow

morning,asanearnestoflargersumswithwhichIhaveengaged

tofeedhisnecessitiesforthwith.Hewasinecstasyatmy

promises;andIamcertainofsecuringhisgraceandfavourin

tail,ifIcanbutfulfilmyengagementAcquaintmyunclewith

theseparticulars,andcomebackintheeveningwithhis

sentimentsonthesubject.

IlefttheCountdeLemoswiththelastwordsstillquiveringon

hislips,andwentbacktotheDukeofLerma,who,onmyreport,

senttoaskCalderonaforathousandpistoles,whichhecharged

metocarrytothecountintheevening.AwaywentIonmy

errand,mutteringtomyself—So,so!nowIhavediscoveredthe

minister’sinfalliblereceiptforthecureofallevils.Faith

andtroth,heisintheright;andtoallappearancehemaydraw

ascopiouslyashepleasesfromthespring,withoutexhausting

thesource.Icaneasilyguesswhatbagthosepistolescomefrom;

butafterall,isitnottheorderofnaturethattheparent

shouldnurtureandmaintainthechild!TheCountdeLemos,atour

parting,saidtomeinalowvoice—Farewell,mygoodand

worthyfriend.ThePrinceofSpainhasalittlehankeringafter

thewomen;wemusthavealittleconversationonthatsubjectone

ofthesedays;Iforeseethatyouragencywillbeveryapplicable

onthathead.Ireturnedwithmyheadfullofthislasthint,

whichitwasimpossibletomisinterpret.NeitherdidIwishtodo

so,foritsuitedmytalentstoanicety.Whatthedevilisto

happennext?saidI.Beholdmeonthepointofbecomingpimpto

theheirofthemonarchy.Whetherpimpingwasavirtueoravice,

Ididnotstoptoinquire:thecoarsesurtoutofmoralitywould

havewornbutshabbilywhilethepassionsofsoexaltedagallant

wereintheglareandglowofalltheirnewestgloss.Whata

promotionformetobetheproviderofpleasuretoagreat

prince!Fairandsoftly,MasterGilBlas,someonemaysay:after

all,youwillbebutsecondminister.Maybeso;butatbottom

thehonourofboththesepostsisequal;thedifferenceliesin

theprofitonly.

Whileexecutingthesehonourablecommissions,andgettingforward

dailyinthegoodgracesoftheprimeminister,whatahappy

beingshouldIhavebeen,ifstatesmenwerebornwithasetof

intestinestoturnthechameleon’sdietintochyle!Itwasmore

thantwomonthssinceIhadgotridofmygrandlodging,andhad

takenupmyquartersinalittleroomscarcelygoodenoughfora

banker’sclerk.Thoughthiswasnotquiteasitshouldbe,yet

sinceIwentoutbetimesinthemorning,andneverreturnedat

nightbeforebed-time,therewasnotmuchtoquarrelabouton

thatscore.AlldayIwastheheroofmyownstage,orratherof

theduke’s.ItwasaprincipalpartthatIwasplaying.Butwhen

Iretiredfromthisbrillianttheatretomyowncockloft,the

greatlordvanished,andpoorGilBlaswasleftbehind,withouta

royalimageinhispocket,andwhatwasworse,withoutthemeans

ofconjuringuphisgloriousresemblance.Besidesthatitwould

havewoundedmypridetohavedivulgedmynecessities,therewas

notacreatureofmyacquaintancewhocouldhaveassistedmebut

Navarro,andhimIhadtoopalpablyneglectedsincemy

introductionatcourt,toventureonsolicitinghisbenevolence.

Ihadbeenobligedtosellmywardrobearticlebyarticle.There

wasnothingmoreleftthanwasabsolutelynecessarytomakea

decentappearance.Inolongerwenttotheordinary,becauseI

hadnolongerwherewithaltopaymyscore.HowthendidImake

shifttokeepbodyandsoultogether?Therewaseverymorning,in

ouroffices,ascantybreakfastsetout,consistingofalittle

breadandwine;thiswasthewholeofourcommonsonthe

minister’sestablishment.Ineverknewwhatitwastoexceedthis

stintduringtheday,andatnightImostfrequentlywent

supperlesstobed.

Suchwasthefareofamanwhomadeasplendidfigureatcourt;

buthisillustriousfortunes,likethoseofothercourtiers,were

moreasubjectofpitythanofgrudge.Icouldnolongerresist

thepressureofmycircumstances,andultimatelyresolvedon

theirdisclosureataseasonableopportunity.Bygoodlucksuch

anoccasionofferedattheEscurial,whitherthekingandthe

PrinceofSpainremovedsomedaysafterwards.

CH.VI.—GilBlasgivestheDukeofLermaahintofhis

wretchedcondition.Thatministerdealswithhimaccordingly.

WHENthekingkepthiscourtattheEscurial,alltheworldwas

atfreequarters:undersucheasycircumstancesIdidnotfeel

wherethesaddlegalled.Mybedwasinawardrobeneartheduke’s

chamber.Onemorningthatminister,havinggotupaccordingto

hiscursedcustomatdaybreak,mademetakemywritingapparatus,

andfollowhimintothepalacegardens.Wewentandsatdown

underanavenueoftrees;myself,ashewouldhaveit,inthe

postureofamanwritingonthecrownofhishat;hisattitude

waswithapaperinhishand,andanyonewouldhavesupposedhe

hadbeenreading.Atsomedistance,wemusthavelookedasifthe

scaleofEuropewastoturnuponourdecision;butbetween

ourselves,whopartookofit,thetalkwasmiserablytrifling.

FormorethananhourhadIbeenticklinghisexcellency’sfancy

withalltheconceits,engenderedbyamerrynatureandan

eccentriccourseoflife,whentwomagpiesperchedonthetrees

aboveus.Theirclackandclatterwassoobstreperous,asto

forceourattentionwhetherwewouldorno.Thesebirds,saidthe

duke,seemtobeindudgeonwithoneanother.Ishouldliketo

learnthecauseoftheirquarrel.Mylord,saidI,yourcuriosity

remindsmeofanIndianstoryinPilpayorsomeotherfabulist.

Theministerinsistedontheparticulars,andIrelatedthemin

thefollowingterms:

TherereignedinPersiaagoodmonarch,whonotbeingblessed

withcapacitiesofsufficientcompasstogovernhisdominionsin

hisownperson,leftthecareofthemtohisgrandvizier.That

minister,whosenamewasAtalmuc,waspossessedoffirst-rate

talents.Hesupportedtheweightofthatunwieldymonarchy,

withoutsinkingundertheburden.Hepreserveditinprofound

peace.Hisartconsistedinunitingtheloveoftheroyal

authoritywiththereverenceofit;whilethepeopleatlarge

lookeduptothevizierastoanaffectionatefather,thougha

devotedservantofhisprince.AtalmuchadayoungCachemirian

amonghissecretaries,bynameZeangir,towhomhewas

particularlyattached.Hetookpleasureinhisconversation,

invitedhimfrequentlytothechase,andopenedtohimhismost

secretthoughts.Onedayastheywerehuntingtogetherinawood,

thevizier,atthecroakingoftworavensonatree,saidtohis

secretary—Ishouldliketoknowwhatthosebirdsaretalking

aboutintheirjargon.Mylord,answeredtheCachemirian,your

wishesmaybefulfilled.Indeed!Howso?repliedAtalmuc.

Because,rejoinedZeangir,adervisereadinmanymysteries,has

taughtmethelanguageofbirds.Ifyouwishit,Iwilllaymy

earclosetothese,andwillrepeattoyouwordforwordwhatever

theymayhappentosay.

Thevizieragreedtotheproposal.TheCachemiriangotnearthe

ravens,andaffectedtosuckintheirdiscourse.Then,returning

tohismaster,Mylord,saidhe,wouldyoubelieveit?Weare

ourselvesthetopicoftheirtalk.Impossible!exclaimedthe

Persianminister.Pritheenow,whatdotheysayofus?Oneofthe

two,repliedthesecretary,spokethus:Hereheis,theveryman;

thegrandvizierAtalmuc,theguardianeagleofPersia,hovering

overherliketheparentbirdoveritsnest,watchingwithout

intermissionforthesafetyofitsbrood.Forthepurposeof

unbendingfromhiswearisometoils,heishuntinginthiswood

withhisfaithfulZeangir.Howhappymustthatsecretarybe,to

servesopartialandindulgentamaster!Fairandsoftly,

observedtheotherravenshrewdly,fairandsoftly!Makenottoo

muchparadeaboutthatCachemirian’shappiness.Atalmuc,itis

true,talksandjokesfamiliarlywithhim,honourshimwithhis

confidence,andmayverypossiblyintendtosignalizehis

friendshipbyalucrativepost;butbetweenthecupandthelip

Zeangirmayperishwiththirst.Thepoordevillodgesinaready-furnishedapartment,wherethereisnotanarticleoffurniture

forhisuse.Inaword,heleadsastarvinglife,withallthe

paraphernaliaofaplump-fedcourtier.Thegrandviziernever

troubleshisheadaboutinquiringintotherightorwrongofhis

affairs;butsatisfiedwithemptygoodwishestowardshim,leaves

hisfavouritewithintheruthlessgripeofpoverty.

Istoppedhere,toseehowtheDukeofLermawouldtakeit;and

heaskedmewithasmilewhateffectthefablehadproducedon

themindofAtalmuc;andwhetherthegrandvizierhadnotfelta

littleoffendedatthesecretary’spresumption.No,mynoble

lord,answeredI,withsomelittleembarrassmentatthequestion;

historianssaythathisingenuitywasamplyrewarded.Hewasmore

luckythandiscreet,repliedthedukewithaseriousair;there

aresomeministerswhowouldesteemitnojoketobelecturedat

thatrate.Butthekingwillnotbelongbeforeheisgettingup;

mydutydemandsmyattendance.Afterthishinthewalkedoffwith

hastystridestowardsthepalacewithoutthrowingawayaword

moreuponme,andtoallappearanceinhighdudgeonatmyIndian

parable.

Ifollowedhimuptotheverydoorofhismajesty’schamber,and

wentthencetoarrangemypapersintheplaceswhencetheyhad

beentaken.ThenIenteredaclosetwhereourtwocopying

secretarieswereatwork;fortheyalsowereofthemigratory

party.Whatisthematterwithyou,SignordeSantillane?said

theyatthesightofme.Youarequitedowninthemouth!Has

anythinguntowardhappened?

Iwastoomuchmortifiedattheillsuccessofmynarrative,to

becautiousintheexpressionofmygrief.Ontherecitalofwhat

hadpassedwiththeduke,theysympathizedinmydisappointment

Youhavesomereasontofret,saidoneofthem.Heavengrantyou

maybebettertreatedthanasecretaryofCardinalSpinosa.This

unluckysecretary,tiredofworkingforfifteenmonthswithout

pay,tookthelibertyofrepresentinghisnecessitiestohis

Eminenceoneafternoon,andofaskingforalittlemoneytowards

hissubsistence.Itisveryproper,saidtheminister,thatyou

shouldbepaid.Here,pursuedhe,puttingintohishandsanorder

ontheroyaltreasuryforathousandducats;goandreceivethat

sum;buttakenoticeatthesametimethatitbalancesaccounts

betweenus.Thesecretarywouldhavepocketedhisthousandducats

withoutremorse,hadthethousandducatsbeentangible,andthe

libertyofchangingservicessecure;butjustashesteppeddown

fromthecardinal’sthreshold,hewastappedontheshoulderby

analguazil,andcarriedawaytothetowerofSegovia,wherehe

hasbeenaprisonerforalengthoflime.

Thislittlehistoricalanecdotesetmyteethchattering.Allwas

lostandgone!Therewasnocomfortfromwithinnorfromwithout!

Myownimpatiencehadbeenmyruin!justasifIhadnotborne

starving,tillpatiencecouldavailnolonger.Alas!saidI,

whereforemustIhaveblurtedoutthatill-starredfable,which

wentsomuchagainstthegrainoftheminister?Hemighthave

beenjustonthepointofextricatingmefromallmymiseries;it

mighthavebeenthemomentofthattideintheaffairsofmen,

whichsetsinforsuddenandenormouselevation.Whatwealth,

whathonourshaveslippedthroughthefingersbymyblunder!I

oughttohavebeenawarethatgreatfolksdonotlovetobe

forestalled,butrequirethecommonprivilegesofelementary

subsistencetobereceivedasfavoursattheirhands.Itwould

havebeenmoreprudenttohavekeptmylentenentertainment

longerwithoutbotheringthedukeaboutit,andeventohavedied

withhunger,thathemightbeblamedforlettingme.

Supposinganyhopetohaveremained,mymaster,whenIsawhim

afterdinner,putanextinguisheroveritatonce.Hewasvery

seriouswithme,contrarytohisusualcustom,andspokescarcely

atall;anomenofdiredismayfortheremainderoftheevening.

Thenightdidnotpassmoretranquilly:thechagrinofseeingmy

agreeableillusionsvanish,andthefearofswellingthecalendar

ofstateprisoners,leftnoroombutforsighsandlamentations.

Thefollowingwasthecriticalday.Thedukesentformeinthe

morning.Iwentintohischamber,withtheaguefitofacriminal

beforehisjudge.Santillane,saidhe,showingmeapaperinhis

hand,takethisorder….Ishudderedatthewordorder,and

saidwithinmyself:Ohheaven!hereistheCardinalSpinosaover

again;thecarriageisorderedoutforSegovia.Suchwasmyalarm

atthismoment,thatIinterruptedtheminister,andthrowing

myselfathisfeet,Mayitpleaseyourlordship,saidI,bathed

intears,Imosthumblybeseechyourexcellencytoforgivemefor

myboldness;necessityaloneimpelledmetoacquaintyouwithmy

wretchedcircumstances.

Thedukecouldnothelplaughingatmydistress.Becomforted,

GilBlas,answeredhe,andhearkenattentively.Thoughby

betrayingyournecessitiesareproachlightsuponmefornot

havingpreventedthem,Idonottakeitill,myfriend.Irather

oughttobeangrywithmyselffornothavinginquiredhowyou

weregoingon.Buttobeginmakingamendsformywantof

attention,thereisanorderontheroyaltreasuryforfifteen

hundredducats,payableatsight.Thisisnotall;Ipromiseyou

thesamesumannually;andmoreover,whenpeopleofrankand

substanceshallsolicityourinterest,Ihavenoobjectionto

youraddressingmeontheirbehalf.

Intheexcessofjoyoccasionedbysuchtidings,Ikissedthe

feetoftheminister,who,havingcommandedmetorise,continued

infamiliarconversation.Iendeavouredtorallymyfreeandeasy

humour;butthetransitionfromsorrowtorapturewastoo

instantaneoustobenatural.Ifeltascomicalasaculprit,with

apardonsinginginhisears,justwhenhewasonthepointof

beinglaunchedintoeternity.Mymasterattributedallmyflurry

tothesoledreadofhavingoffendedhim;thoughthefearof

perpetualimprisonmenthaditsshareofinfluenceonmynerves.

Heownedthathehadaffectedtolookcool,toseewhetherI

shouldbehurtatthealteration;thattherebyheformedhis

opinionwithrespecttothelivelinessofmyattachmenttohis

person,andthathisownregardformewouldalwaysbe

proportionate.

CH.VII.—Agoodusemadeofthefifteenhundredducats.A

firstintroductiontothetradeofoffice,andanaccountofthe

profitaccruingtherefrom.

THEking,asifonpurposetoplayintothehandsofmy

impatience,returnedtoMadridtheverynextday.Iflewlikea

harpytotheroyaltreasury,wheretheypaidmedownuponthe

nailthesumdrawnforinmyorder.Ambitionandvanitynow

obtainedcompleteempireovermysoul.Mypaltrylodgingwasfit

onlyforsecretariesofaninferiorcast,unpractisedinthe

mysteriouslanguageofbirds;forwhichreason,mygrandsuiteof

apartmentsfortunatelybeingvacant,Iengagedthemforthe

secondtime.Mynextbusinesswastosendforaneminenttailor,

whoarrayedtheprettypersonsofallthefinegentlemenintown.

Hetookmymeasure,andthenintroducedmetoadraper,whosold

mefiveellsofcloth,theexactquantity,ashesaid,tomakea

suitforamanofmysize.FiveellsforalightSpanishdress!

Whitherdidthisdraperandtailorexpecttogo?….Butwe

mustnotbeuncharitable.Tailorswhohaveareputationto

supportrequiremorematerialsfortheexerciseoftheirgenius

thanthevulgarsnippersoftheshopboard.Ithenboughtsome

linen,ofwhichIwasverybare;anassortmentofsilkstockings,

andalacedhat.

Withsuchanequipage,therewasnodoingwithoutafootman;so

thatIdesiredVincentFerrero,mylandlord,tolookoutforone.

Mostoftheforeignerswhowererecommendedtohislodgings,on

theirarrivalatMadrid,werewonttohireSpanishservants;and

thiswasthemeansofturninghishouseintoaregisteroffice.

Thefirstwhoofferedwasaladofsomortifiedanddevotionalan

aspect,thatIwouldhavenothingtosaytohim;heputmein

mindofAmbrosedeLamela.Iamquiteoutofconceit,saidIto

Ferrero,withthesepiouscoat-brushers;Ihavebeentakeninby

themalready.

Ihadscarcelyturnedvirtueinaliveryoutofdoors,when

anothercameupstairs.Thisseemedtobeagoodsprightlyfellow,

withaslittlemockmodestyasifhehadbeenbredatcourt,and

acertainsomethingabouthimwhichindicatedthathedidnot

carryprincipletoanydangerousexcess.Hewasjusttomymind.

Hisanswerstomyquestionswerepatandtothepurpose:he

evincedatalentforintriguebeyondmymostsanguinehopes.This

wasexactlythesubjectformypurpose;soIfixedhimatonce.

NeitherhadIanyreasontorepentofmybargain;foritwasvery

soonevidentthatfurtheroffImusthavefaredworse.Asthe

dukehadallowedmetosolicitonbehalfofmyfriends,andit

wasmydesigntopushthatpermissiontotheutmost,astaunch

houndwasnecessarytoputupthegame;orinphrasefamiliarto

dullcapacities,anactivechap,withaturnforroutingoutand

bringingtomymarketallpalm-ticklingpetitionersforthe

loavesandfishesoftheprimeminister.Thiswasjustwhere

Scipioshonemost;formyservant’snamewasScipio.Hehadlived

lastwithDonnaAnnadeGuevara,thePrinceofSpain’snurse,

wherehehadamplescopefortheexerciseofthataccomplishment.

Assoonashebecameacquaintedwithmycreditatcourtandthe

usetowhichImeanttoputit,hetookthefieldlikehisgreat

ancestors,andbeganthecampaignwithoutthelossofaday.

Master,saidhe,ayounggentlemanofGrenadaisjustcometo

Madrid;hisnameisDonRogerdeRada.Hehasbeenengagedinan

affairofhonourwhichcompelshimtothrowhimselfontheDuke

ofLerma’sprotection,andheiswelldisposedtocomedown

handsomelyforanygraceandfavourhemayobtain.Ihavetalked

withhimonthesubject.Hehadamindtohavemadefriendswith

DonRodrigodeCalderona,whoseinfluencehadbeenrepresentedto

himinmagnificentterms:butIdissuadedhim,bypointingout

thatsecretary’smethodofsellinghisgoodofficesformorethan

theirweightingold;whereas,onthecontrary,youwouldbe

satisfiedwithanydecentexpressionofgratitudeforyours,and

wouldevendothebusinessforthemerepleasureofdoingit,if

youwereincircumstancestofollowthebentofyourowngenerous

anddisinterestedtemper.Inshort,Italkedtohiminsucha

strain,thatyouwillseethegentlemanearlyto-morrowmorning.

Howisallthis,MasterScipio?saidI.Youmusthavetransacted

agreatdealofbusinessinashorttime.Youarenonovicein

back-stairsinfluence.Itisverystrangethatyouhavenot

featheredyourownnest.Thatoughtnottosurpriseyouatall,

answeredhe.Ilovetomakemoneycirculate;nottohoarditup.

DonRogerdeRadacameaccordingtohisappointment.Ireceived

himwithamixtureofcourtlyplausibilityandministerialpride.

Myworthysir,saidI,beforeIengageinyourinterests,Iwish

toknowthenatureoftheaffairwhichbringsyoutocourt;

becauseitmaybesuchastoprecludemefromspeakingtothe

ministerinyourfavour.Giveme,therefore,ifyouplease,the

particularsfaithfully,andrestassuredthatIshallenter

warmlyintoyourinterests,iftheyarepropertobeespousedby

amanwhomovesinmysphere.Myyoungclientpromisedtobe

sincereinhisrepresentation,andbeganhisnarrativeinthe

followingwords.

CH.VIII.—HistoryofDonRogerdeRada.

DONANASTASIODERADA,agentlemanofGrenada,waslivinghappily

inthetownofAntequera,withDonnaEstephaniahiswife,who

unitedeverycharmofpersonandmindwiththemost

unquestionablevirtue.Ifheraffectionwaslivelytowardsher

husband,hisloveforherwasviolentbeyondallbounds.Hewas

naturallypronetojealousy;andthoughwantonnesscouldnever

assumesuchasemblanceashiswife’s,histhoughtswerenot

quiteatrestuponthesubject.Hewasapprehensivelestsome

secretenemytohisreposemightmakesomeattemptuponhis

honour.Hiseyewasturnedaskanceuponallhisfriends,except

DonHubertodeHordales,whofrequentedthehousewithout

suspicioninqualityofEstephania’scousin,andwastheonlyman

inwhomheoughtnottohaveconfided.

DonHubertodidactuallyfallinlovewithhiscousin,and

venturedtomakehissentimentsknown,incontemptof

consanguinityandthetiesoffriendship.Thelady,whowas

considerate,insteadofmakinganoutcrywhichmighthaveledto

fatalconsequences,reprovedherkinsmangently,representedto

himtheextremecriminalityofattemptingtoseduceherand

dishonourherhusband,andtoldhimveryseriouslythathemust

notflatterhimselfwiththemostdistanthope.

Thismoderationonlyinflamedtheseducer’sappetitethemore.

Takingitforgrantedthat,asawomanwhohadbeenaccustomedto

saveappearances,sheonlywantedtobemorestronglyurged,he

begantoadoptlittlefreedomsofmorewarmththandelicacy;and

hadtheassuranceonedaytoputthequestionhometoher.She

repulsedhimwithunbridledindignation,andthreatenedtorefer

thepunishmentofhisoffencetoDonAnastasio.Hersuitor,

alarmedatsuchanintimation,promisedtodropthesubject;and

Estephaniainthecandourofhersoulforgavehimforthepast.

DonHuberto,amantotallydevoidofprinciple,couldnotfeel

hispassiontobefoiled,withoutentertainingameanspiritof

revenge.HeknewtheweaksideofDonAnastasio’stemper.This

wasenoughtoengendertheblackestdesignthateverscoundrel

plotted.Oneeveningashewaswalkingalonewiththismisguided

husband,hesaidwithanairofextremeuneasiness:Mydear

friend,Icannolongerlivewithoutunburdeningmymind;andyet

Iwouldbeforeversilent,butthatyouvaluehonourfarabovea

treacherousrepose.Youracutefeelingsandmyown,onpoints

whichconcerndomesticinjuries,forbidmetoconcealwhatis

passinginyourfamily.Preparetohearwhatwilloccasionyouas

muchgriefasastonishment.Iamgoingtowoundyouinthe

tenderestpart.

Iknowwhatyoumean,interruptedDonAnastasio,inthefirst

buntofagony;yourcousinisunfaithful.Inolongeracknowledge

herformycousin,repliedHordaleswithimpassionedvehemence;I

disownher,asunworthytosharemyfriend’sembraces.Thisis

keepingmetoolongupontherack,exclaimedDonAnastasio:say

on,whathasEstephaniadone?Shehasbetrayedyou,repliedDon

Huberto.Youhavearivaltowhomshelistensinprivate,butI

cannotgiveyouhisname;fortheadulterer,underfavourof

impenetrabledarkness,hasescapedthekenofthosewhowatched

him.AllIknowis,thatyouareduped:ofthatfactIamwell

assured.Myownshareinthedisgraceisasufficientpledgeof

myveracity.Herinfidelitymustbepalpableindeed,whenIturn

Estephania’saccuser.

Itistonopurpose,continuedhe,watchingthesuccessful

impressionofhisdiscourse,itistonopurposetodiscussthe

subjectfurther.Iperceiveyourindignationatthetreacherous

requitalofyourlove,andyourthoughtsallaimingatajust

revenge.Takeyourowncourse.Heednotinwhatrelationtoyou

yourvictimmaystand:butconvincethewholecitythatthereis

noearthlybeingwhomyouwouldnotsacrificetoyourhonour.

Thusdidthetraitorexasperateatoocreduloushusbandagainst

aninnocentwife;depictinginsuchglowingcolourstheinfamyin

whichhewouldbeplungedifhelefttheinsultunpunished,asto

heightenhisangerintomadness.BeholdDonAnastasio,withhis

mindcompletelyoverturned;asifgoadedbythefuries.He

returnedhomewardswiththefranticdesignofmurderinghisill-fatedwife.Shewasjustgoingtobedwhenhecamein.Hekept

hispassionunderforatime,andwaitedtilltheattendantshad

withdrawn.Then,unrestrainedbythefearofvengeancefrom

above,bythevulgarscornwhichmustrecoiluponanhonourable

family,bynaturalaffectionforhisunbornchild,sincehiswife

wasnearhertime,heapproachedhisvictim,andsaidtoherina

furioustoneofvoice:Nowisyourhourtodie,wretchasyou

are!Onemomentonlyisyourown,whichmyrelentingpityleaves

youtomakeyourpeacewithheaven.Iwouldnotthatyoursoul

shouldperisheternally,thoughyourearthlyhonourisforever

lost.

Atthesewordshedrewhisdagger.Estephania,justspeechless

withterror,throwingherselfathisfeet,besoughthimwith

upliftedhandsandinarticulateagony,totellherwhyheraised

hisarmagainstherlife.Ifhesuspectedherfidelity,she

calledheaventoattestherinnocence.

Invain,invain,repliedtheinfuriatedmurderer;yourtreason

isbuttoowellproved.Myinformationisnottobecontradicted:

DonHuberto….Ah!mylord,interruptedshewitheager

haste,youmustholdyourtrustalooffromDonHuberto.Heis

lessyourfriendthanyouimagine.Ifhehassaidaughtagainst

myvirtue,believehimnot.Restrainthatinfamoustongue,

repliedDonAnastasio.ByappealingagainstHordales,youcondemn

yourself.Youwouldruinyourrelationinmyesteem,becausehe

isacquaintedwithyourmisconduct.Youwouldinvalidatehis

evidenceagainstyou;buttheartificeispalpable,andonly

whetsmyappetiteforvengeance.Mydearhusband,rejoinedthe

innocentEstephania,whilehertearsflowedintorrents,beware

ofthisblindrage.Ifyoufollowitsinstigation,youwill

perpetrateadeedforwhichyouwillhateyourself,when

convincedofitsinjustice.Inthenameofheaven,composeyour

disorderedspirits.Atleastgivemetimetoclearupyour

suspicions;youwillthendealcandidlybyawifewhohasnothing

toreproachherselfwith.

AnyotherthanDonAnastasiowouldhavebeentouchedbyher

pleadings,andstillmorebyheragonizingaffliction;butthe

barbarian,farfrombeingsoftened,orderedtheladyonceagain

torecommendherselfbrieflytomercy,andliftedhisarmto

striketheblow.Hold,inhumanasyouare!criedshe.Ifyour

loveformeisasifithadneverbeen,ifmylavishfondnessin

returnisallblottedfromyourmemory,ifmytearshaveno

eloquencetodisarmyourhellishpurpose,havesomepityonyour

ownblood.Launchnotyourfrantichandagainstaninnocent,who

hasnotyetbreathedthisvitalair.Youcannotbeits

executionerwithoutthecurseofheavenandearth.Asformyself,

Icanforgivemymurderer;butthebutcherofhisownchild,

thinkdeeplyofit,mustpaythedreadfulforfeitofso

detestableadeed.

DeterminedasDonAnastasiowastopaynoattentiontoanything

Estephaniacouldsay,hecouldnothelpbeingaffectedbythe

frightfulimagestheselastwordspresentedtohissoul.

Wherefore,asifapprehensivelestnatureshouldplaythe

traitresstorevenge,hehastenedtomakesureofhisstaggering

resolves,andplungedhisdaggerintoherbosom.Shefell

motionlessontheground.Hethoughtherdead;andonthat

suppositionlefthishouseimmediatelytobenomoreseenat

Antequera.

Inthemeantime,theunhappyvictimofgroundlesssuspicionwas

sostunnedwiththeblowshehadreceived,astoremainfora

shortintervalonthegroundwithoutanysignsoflife.

Afterwards,comingtoherself,shebroughtanoldfemaleservant

toherassistancebyherplaintsandlamentations.Thatgoodold

woman,beholdinghermistressinsodeplorableastate,wakedthe

wholehouseholdandeventheneighbourhoodbyhercries.Theroom

wassoonfilledwithspectators.Surgicalassistancewassent

for.Thewoundwasprobed,andpronouncednottobemortal.Their

opinionturnedouttobecorrect;forEstephaniasoonrecovered,

andwasinduetimedeliveredofason,notwithstandingthe

cruelcircumstancesinwhichshehadbeenplaced.Thatson,

SignorGilBlas,youbeholdinme:Iamthefruitofthat

dreadfulpregnancy.

Women,whenchasteasice,whenpureassnow,seldomescape

calumny:thisplague,however,thoughvirtue’sdowry,didnot

alightuponmymother.Thebloodyscenepassedincommonfamefor

thetransportofajealoushusband.Myfather,itistrue,bore

thecharacterofapassionateman,pronetokindleintofuryon

theslightestoccasion.Hordalescouldnotbutsupposethathis

kinswomanmustsuspecthimofhavingsownwildfanciesinthe

mindofDonAnastasio;sothathesatisfiedhimselfwiththis

imperfectrelishofrevenge,andceasedtoimportuneher.But,

nottobetedious,Ishallpassoverthedetailofmyeducation.

Sufficeittosay,thatmyprincipalexercisewasfencing,which

IpractisedregularlyinthemostfamousschoolsofGrenadaand

Seville.MymotherwaitedwithimpatiencetillIwasofageto

measureswordswithDonHuberto,thatshemightinstructmein

thegroundsofhercomplaintagainsthim.Inmyeighteenthyear

shesubmittedhercausetomyarbitrement,notwithoutfloodsof

tears,andeverysymptomofthedeepestanguish.Whatmustnota

sonfeel,ifhehasthespiritandtheheartofason,atthe

sightofamotherinsuchdistressingcircumstances?Iwent

immediatelyandcalledoutHordales;ourplaceofmeetingwas

privateasitshouldbe;wefoughtlongandfuriously;threeof

mythruststookplace,andIthrewhimtotheground,likeadead

dogdespised.

DonHuberto,feelinghiswoundtobemortal,fixedhislastlooks

uponme,anddeclaredthathemethisdeathatmyhandsasajust

punishmentforhistreasonagainstmymother’shonour.Heowned

thatinrevengeforthepangsofdespisedlovehehadresolvedon

herruin.Thusdidhebreathehislast,imploringpardonfrom

heaven,fromDonAnastasio,fromEstephania,andfrommyself.I

deemeditimprudenttoreturnhomeandacquaintmymotherofthe

issue;famewassuretoperformthatofficeformeIpassedthe

mountains,andrepairedtoMalaga,whereIembarkedonboarda

privateer.Myoutsidenotaltogetherindicatingcowardice,the

captainconsentedatoncetoenrolmeamonghiscrew.

Wewerenotlongbeforewewentintoaction.Neartheislandof

Alboutan,acorsairofMillilafellinwithus,onhisreturn

towardstheAfricancoastwithaSpanishvesselrichlyladen,

takenoffCarthagena.WeattackedtheAfricanbriskly,andmade

ourselvesmastersofbothships,witheightyChristiansonboard,

goingasslavestoBarbary.Afterwards,availingourselvesofa

winddirectforthecoastofGrenada,weshortlyarrivedatPunta

deHelena.

Whilewewereinquiringintothebirth-placeandconditionofour

rescuedcaptives,amanaboutfifty,ofprepossessingaspect,

fellundermyexamination.Hestatedhimself,withasigh,to

belongtoAntequera.Myheartpalpitated,withoutmyknowingwhy;

andmyemotion,toostrongtopassunnoticed,excitedavisible

sympathyinhim.Iavowedmyselfhistownsman,andaskedhis

familyname.Alas!answeredhe,yourcuriositymakesmysorrow

flowafresh.EighteenyearsagodidIleavemyhome,wheremy

remembranceiscoupledwithscenesofbloodandhorror.Youmust

yourselfhaveheardbuttoomuchofmystory.MynameisDon

AnastasiodeRada.Mercifulheaven!exclaimedI,mayIbelievemy

senses?AndcanthisbeDonAnastasio?Father!Whatisityou

say,youngman?exclaimedheinhisturn,withsurpriseand

agitationequaltomyown.Areyouthatill-fatedinfant,still

initsmother’swomb,whenIsacrificedhertomyfury?Yes,said

I;noneotherdidthevirtuousEstephaniabringintotheworld,

afterthefatalnightwhenyouleftherwelteringinherown

blood.

DonAnastasiostifledmywordsinhisembraces.Foraquarterof

anhourwecouldonlymingleourinarticulatesighsand

exclamations.Afterexhaustingourtenderrecollections,and

indulginginthewildexpressionofourfeelings,myfather

liftedhiseyestoheaven,ingratitudeforEstephaniasaved;but

thenextmoment,asifdoubtfulofhisbliss,hedemandedbywhat

evidencehiswife’sinnocencehadbeencleared.Sir,answeredI,

nonebutyourselfeverdoubtedit.Herconducthasbeenuniformly

spotless.Youmustbeundeceived.KnowthatDonHubertowasa

traitor.InproofofthisIunfoldedallhisperfidy,the

vengeanceIhadtaken,andhisownconfessionbeforeheexpired.

Myfatherwaslessdelightedathislibertyrestoredthanat

thesehappytidings.Intheforgetfulnessofecstacy,herepeated

allhisformertransports.Hisapprobationofmewasardentand

entire.Come,myson,saidhe,letussetoutforAntequera.I

burnwithimpatiencetothrowmyselfatthefeetofawifewhomI

havetreatedsounworthily.Sinceyouhavebroughtmeacquainted

withmyowninjustice,myhearthasbeentornbyremorse.

Iwastooeagertobringtogetheracouplesonearanddearto

me,nottoexpediteourjourneyasmuchaspossible.Iquitted

theprivateer,andwithmyshareofprize-moneyboughttwomules

atAdra,myfathernotchoosingagaintoincurthehazardofa

voyage.Hefoundleisureontheroadtorelatehisadventures,

whichIinclinedtohearasseriouslyasdidthePrinceofIthaca

thevariousrecitalsofthekinghisfather.Atlength,after

severaldays,wehaltedatthefootofamountainnearAntequera.

Wishingtoreachhomeprivately,wewentnotintothetowntill

midnight.

Youmayguessmymother’sastonishmentatbeholdingahusband

whomshehadthoughtforeverlost;andthealmostmiraculous

circumstancesofhisrestorationwereasecondsourceofwonder.

Heentreatedforgivenessforhisbarbaritywithmarksof

repentancesolively,thatshecouldnotbutbemoved.Insteadof

lookingonhimasamurderer,sheonlysawthemantowhosewill

highheavenhadsubjectedher;suchreligionisthereinthename

ofhusbandtoavirtuouswife!Estephaniahadbeensoalarmed

aboutme,thatmyreturnfilledherwithrapture.Butherjoyon

thisaccountwasnotwithoutalleviation.AsisterofHordales

hadinstitutedacriminalprosecutionagainstherbrother’s

antagonist.Thesearchformewashot,sothatmymother,

consideringhomeasinsecure,waspainfullyanxiousaboutme.It

wasthereforenecessarytosetoutthatverynightforcourt,

whitherIcometosolicitmypardon,andhopetoobtainitby

yourgenerousintercessionwiththeprimeminister.

ThegallantsonofDonAnastasiothusclosedhisnarrative;after

whichIobserved,withaself-sufficientphysiognomy:Itiswell,

SignorDonRoger;theoffenceseemstometobevenial.Iwill

undertaketolaythecasebeforehisexcellency,andmayventure

topromiseyouhisprotection.Thethanksmyclientlavished

wouldhavepassedinatoneearandoutattheother,iftheyhad

notbeenbackedbyassurancesofmoresubstantialgratitude.But

whenoncethatstringwastouched,everynerveandfibreofmy

framevibratedinunison.OntheverysamedaydidIrelatethe

wholestorytotheduke,whoallowedmetopresentthegentleman,

andaddressedhimthus:DonRoger,Ihavebeeninformedofthe

duelwhichhasbroughtyoutocourt;Santillanehaslaidallthe

particularsbeforeme.Makeyourselfperfectlyeasy:youhave

donenothingbutwhatthecircumstancesofthecasemightalmost

warrant;anditisespeciallyonthegroundofwoundedhonour,

thathisMajestyisbestpleasedtoextendhisgraceandfavour.

Youmustbecommittedformereform’ssake;butyoumaydependon

it,yourconfinementshallbeofshortduration.InSantillane

youhaveazealousfriend,whowillwatchoveryourinterests,

andhastenyourrelease.

DonRogerpaidhisrespectfulacknowledgmentstotheminister,on

whosepledgehewentandsurrenderedhimselfHispardonwassoon

madeout,owingtomyactivity.Inlessthantendays,Isent

thismodernTelemachushome,tosay“howdoyoudo?”tohis

UlyssesandPenelope;hadhestooduponthemeritsofhiscase

withoutaprotector,hemighthavewhinedoutayear’s

imprisonment,andscarcelyhavegotoffatlast.Mycommission

wasbutapoorhundredpistoles.Itwasnoverymagnificenthaul;

butIwasnotasyetaCalderona,toturnupmynoseatthesmall

fry.

CH.IX.—GilBlasmakesalargefortuneinashorttime,and

behaveslikeotherwealthyupstarts.

THISaffairgavemearelishformytrade;andtenpistolesto

Scipiobywayofbrokerage,whettedhiseagernesstostartmore

gameofthesamesort.Ihavealreadydonejusticetohistalents

thatway;hemightasmodestlyhaveappended“thegreat”tothe

tailofhisname,asthemostnotedscoundrelofantiquity.The

secondcustomerhebroughtmewasaprinter,whomanufactured

booksofchivalry,andhadmadehisfortunebywagingwaragainst

commonsense.Thisprinterhadpiratedaworkbelongingtoa

brotherprinter,andhiseditionhadbeenseized.Forthree

hundredducatsIrescuedhiscopiesoutofjeopardy,andsaved

himfromaheavyfine.Thoughthiswasatransactionbeneaththe

primeminister’snotice,hisexcellencycondescendedatmy

requesttointerposehisauthority.Aftertheprinter,amerchant

passedthroughmyhands;theoccasionwasthus:APortuguese

vesselhadbeentakenbyaBarbarycorsair,andre-takenbya

privateerfromCadiz.Two-thirdsofthecargobelongedtoa

merchantatLisbon,who,havingclaimedhisduetonopurpose,

cametothecourtofSpaininsearchofaprotector,with

sufficientcredittoprocurehimrestitution.Itookuphis

cause,andherecoveredhisproperty,deductingthesumoffour

hundredpistoles,paidtomeinconsiderationofmydisinterested

zealforjustice.

Andnowmostsurelythereaderwillcallouttomeatthisplace:

Wellsaid,goodmasterSantillane!Makehaywhilethesunshines.

Youareonthehighroadtofortune;pushforward,andoutstrip

yourrivals.Oh!letmealoneforthat.Ispy,ormyeyesdeceive

me,myservantcominginwithanewgullthathehasjustcaught.

Evenso!ItismyveryScipio.Letushearwhathehastosay.

Sir,quothhe,givemeleavetointroducethiseminent

practitioner.Hewantsalicencetosellhisdrugsduringthe

termoftenyearsinallthetownsoftheSpanishmonarchy,to

theexclusionofallotherquacks;inshort,amonopolyof

poisons.Ingratitudeforthispatenttothinmankind,hewill

presentthedonorwithagratuityoftwohundredpistoles.I

lookedsuperciliously,likeapatron,atthemountebank,andtold

himthathisbusinessshouldbedone.Aslamenessandleprosy

wouldhaveit,inthecourseofafewdaysIsenthimonhis

progressthroughSpain,investedwithfullpowerstomakethe

worldhisoyster,andleavenothingbuttheshelltohis

unpatentedcompetitors.

Besidesthatmyavariceoutranmyaccumulatingwealth,Ihad

obtainedthefourboonsjustspecifiedsoeasilyfromhisgrace,

asnottobemealymouthedaboutaskingforafifth.Thetownof

Vera,onthecoastofGrenada,wantedagovernor;andaknightof

Calatravawantedthegovernment,forwhichhewaswillingtopay

meonethousandpistoles.Theministerwasreadytoburstwith

laughing,toseemesoeagerafterthescut.Byallthepowers!

myfriendGilBlas,saidhe,yougotoworktoothandnail!You

haveamostinveterateitchtodoasyouwouldbedoneby.But

markme!Whenmeretriflesstandbetweenus,Ishallnotstand

upontrifles;butwhengovernmentsorotherplacesofrealvalue

areinquestion,youwillhavethemodestytobecontentwith

halfthefeeforyourselfandwillaccounttomefortheother

half.ItisinconceivableatwhatexpenseIstand,andhowit

pressesonmyfinancestosupportthedignityofmystation;for

thoughdisinterestednesslooksvastlywellintheeyesofthe

world,youaretounderstandbetweenourselvesthatIhavemadea

solemnvowagainstdippingintomyprivatefortune.Onthishint,

arrangeyourfutureplans.

Mymaster,bythisdiscourse,relievingmefromthefearofbeing

troublesome,orrathereggingmeontorunattheringforevery

prize,mademestillmoreworldly-mindedthaneverIhadbeen

before.Ishouldnothaveobjectedtocirculatinghand-bills,

withaninvitationtoallcandidatesforplacestoapplyon

certaintermsatthesecretary’soffice.Myfunctionswerehere,

Scipio’swerethere;andwemetatthereceiptofcustom.My

clientgotthegovernmentofVeraforhisthousandpistoles;and

asourpricewasfixed,aknightofStJamesmethisbrotherof

Calatravainthemarketonanequalfooting.Butmeregovernors

werepaltryfishtofry;Idistributedordersofknighthood,and

convertedsomegoodstupidburgessesintomostinsufferable

gentrybyonestrokeofthepen,andalacingacrossthe

shoulderswithabroad-sword.Theclergy,too,werenotforgotten

inmycharities.Lesserprefermentswereinmygift;everything

uptoprebendalstallsandcollegiatedignities.Withregardto

bishopricsandarchbishoprics,DonRodrigodeCalderonahadthe

chargeofourholyreligion.Aschurchandstatemustalwaysgo

together,suprememagistracies,commanderies,andviceroyalties

wereallinhisgift;whencethereaderwillnaturallyinfer,

thattheupperofficeswerelittlebettertenantedthanthelower

ones;sincethesubjectsonwhomourelectionfell,establishing

theirpretensionsonacertainpalpablecriterion,werenot

necessarilyandunavoidablyeitherthecleverestorthebest-principledpeopleintheworld.Weknewverywellthatthewits

andlampoonersofMadridmadethemselvesmerryatourexpense;

butweborrowedourphilosophyfrommisers,whohugthemselves

underthehootingsofthepeople,whentheycountoverthe

accumulationoftheirpelf.

Isocrateswasintherighttoinsinuate,inhiselegantGreek

expression,thatwhatisgotoverthedevil’sbackisspentunder

hisbelly.WhenIsawmyselfmasterofthirtythousandducats,

andinafairwaytogainperhapstentimesasmuch,itseemedto

beanecessaryofofficetomakesuchafigureasbecamethe

righthandofaprimeminister.Itookahousetomyself,and

furnisheditintheimmediatetaste.Iboughtanattorney’s

carriageatsecondhand:hehadsetitupatthesuggestionof

vanity,andlaiditdownatthesuggestionofhisbanker.Ihired

acoachmanandthreefootmen.Justicedemandsthatoldand

faithfulservantsshouldbepromoted;IthereforeinvestedScipio

withthethreefoldhonourofvalet-de-chambre,privatesecretary,

andsteward.Buttheministerraisedmypridetoitshighest

pitch,forhewaspleasedtoallowmypeopletowearhislivery.

Mypoorlittlewitswerenowcompletelyturned.Iwaslittlemore

inmysensesthanthedisciplesofPorciusLatro,who,bydintof

drinkingcummin,havingmadethemselvesaspaleastheirmaster,

thoughtthemselveseverywhitaslearned;soIcouldscarcely

refrainfromfancyingmyselfnextofkinandpresumptiveheirto

theDukeofLermahimself.Thepopulacemighttakemeforhis

cousin,andpeoplewhoknewbetter,foroneofhisbastards;a

suspicionmostflatteringtomyprideofblood.

Addtothis,thataftertheexampleofhisexcellency,whokepta

publictable,Ideterminedtogivepartiesofmyown.Pursuant

thereunto,IcommissionedScipiotofindmeoutaprofessedcook,

andhestumbledupononewhomighthavedishedupadinnerfor

Nomentanus,ofdripping-pannotoriety.Mycellarwaswellstored

withthechoicestwines.Myestablishmentbeingnowcomplete,I

gavemyhouse-warming.Everyeveningsomeoftheclerksinthe

publicofficescametosupwithme,andaffectedasortof

politicalhighlifebelow-stairs.Ididthehonourshospitably,

andalwayssentthemhomehalfseasover.Likemasterlikeman!

Scipio,too,hadhispartiesintheservants’hall,wherehe

treatedallhischumsatmyexpense.ButbesidesthatIfelta

realkindnessforthatlad,hecontributedtogreasethewheels

ofmyestablishment,andwasentitledtohaveafingerinthe

dissipation.Asayoungman,somelittlelicencewasallowable;

andtheruinousconsequencesdidnotstrikemeatthetime.

Anotherreason,too,preventedmefromtakingnoticeofit;

incessantvacancies,ecclesiasticalandsecular,paidmeamplyin

mealandinmalt.Mysurpluswasincreasingeveryday.Fortune’s

curricleseemedtohavedriventomydoor,theretohavebroken

down,andthedrivertohavetakenshelterwithme.

Onethingmorewaswantingtomycompleteintoxication,that

Fabriciomightbewitnesstomypomp.Hewasmostprobablycome

backfromAndalusia.Forthefunofsurprisinghim,Isentan

anonymousnote,importingthataSiciliannoblemanofhis

acquaintancewouldbegladofhiscompanytosupper,withthe

day,hour,andplaceofappointment,whichwasatmyhouse.Nunez

came,andwasmostinordinatelyastonishedtorecognizemeinthe

Siciliannobleman.Yes,myfriend,saidI,beholdthemasterof

thisfamily.Ihavearetinue,agoodtable,andastrongbox

besides.Isitpossible,exclaimedhewithvivacity,thatall

thisopulenceshouldbeyours?Itwaswelldoneinmetohave

placedyouwithCountGaliano.Itoldyoubeforehandthathewas

agenerousnobleman,andwouldnotbelongbeforehesetyouat

yourease.Ofcourseyoufollowedmywiseadvice,ingivingthe

reinalittlemorefreelytoyourservants;youfindthebenefit

ofit.Itisonlybyalittlemutualaccommodation,thatthe

principalofficersingreathousesfeathertheirnestsso

comfortably.

IsufferedFabriciotogoonaslongasheliked,complimenting

himselfforhavingintroducedmetoCountGaliano.Whenhehad

done,tochastisehisecstasiesathavingprocuredmesogooda

post,Istatedatfulllengththereturnsofgratitudewithwhich

thatnoblemanhadrecompensedmyservices.But,perceivinghow

readymypoetwastostringhislyretosatireatmyrecital,I

saidtohim—TheSicilian’scontemptibleconductIreadily

forgive.Betweenourselves,itismoreasubjectof

congratulationthanofregret.Ifthecounthaddealthonourably

byme,IshouldhavefollowedhimintoSicily,whereIshould

stillbeinasubordinatecapacity,waitingfordeadmen’sshoes.

Inaword,IshouldnotnowhavebeenhandinglovewiththeDuke

ofLerma.

Nunezfeltsostrangeasensationattheselastwords,thathe

wastongue-tiedforsomeseconds.Thengulping.uphisstammering

accentslikeharlequin,DidIheararight?saidhe.What!you

handinglovewiththeprimeminister.Iononeside,andDon

RodrigodeCalderonaontheother,answeredI;andaccordingto

allappearance,myfortuneswillmovehigher.Truly,repliedhe,

thisisadmirable.Youarecutoutforeveryoccasion.Whatan

universalgenius!Toborrowanexpressionfromthetennis-court,

youhavearacketforeveryball;nothingcomesamisstoyou.At

allevents,mylord,Iamsincerelyrejoicedatyourlordship’s

prosperity.Thedeuceandall,MasterNunez!interruptedI;good

now,dispensewithyourlordsandlordships.Letusbanishsuch

formalities,andliveonequaltermstogether.Youareinthe

right,repliedhe;alteredcircumstancesshouldnotmakestrange

faces.Iwillownmyweakness;whenyouannouncedyourelevation

youtookawaymybreath;butthechillandtheshudderareover,

andIseeonlymyoldfriendGilBlas.

Ourconversationwasinterruptedbythearrivaloffourorfive

clerks.Gentlemen,saidI,introducingNunez,youaretosupwith

SignorDonFabricio,whowritesversesofimpenetrablesublimity,

andsuchproseaswouldnotknowitselfintheglass.UnluckilyI

wastalkingtogentrywhowouldhavehadmorefellow-feelingwith

anOranOutangthanwithapoetTheyscarcelycondescendedto

lookathim.Invaindidhepun,parody,rally,orrailtohit

theirfancies,fortheyhadnone.Hewassonettledattheir

indifference,thatheassumedthepoeticlicence,andmadehis

escape.Ourclerksnevermissedhim,butforgotatoncethathe

hadbeenthere.

JustasIwasgoingoutthenextmorning,thepoetofthe

Asturiascameintomyroom.Ibegpardon,saidhe,forhavingcut

yourclerkssoabruptlylastnight;but,todealfreely,Iwasso

muchoutofmyelement,thatIshouldsoonhaveplayedoldchaos

withthem.Proudpuppies,withtheirstarchandself-important

air!Icannotconceivehowacleverfellowlikeyoucansitit

outwithsuchloutishguests.To-dayIwillbringyousomeof

morelifeandspirit.Ishallbeverymuchobligedtoyou,

answeredI;yourintroductionissufficient.Exactlyso,replied

he.Youshallhavethefeastofreasonandtheflowofsoul.I

willgoforthwithandinvitethem,forfeartheyshouldengage

themselveselsewhere;forhappymanbehisdolewhocangetthem

todinnerorsupper;theyaresuchexcellentcompany!

Awaywenthe;andintheevening,atsupper-time,returnedwith

sixauthorsinhistrain,whomhepresentedoneafteranother

withasetspeechintheirpraise.Accordingtohisaccount,the

witsofGreeceandItalywerenothingincomparisonofthese,

whoseworksoughttobeprintedinlettersofgold.Ireceived

thisdeputationfromthetunefulsistersverypolitely.My

behaviourwasevenintheextravaganceofgoodbreeding;forthe

republicofauthorsisalittlemonarchicalinitsdemandsupon

ourflattery.ThoughIhadgivenScipionoexpressdirection

respectingthenumberofcoversatthisentertainment,yet

knowingwhatahungryandvoluptnousraceweretobecrammed,he

hadmusteredthecoursesinmorethantheirfullcomplement.

Atlengthsupperwasannounced,andwefelltomerrily.Mypoets

begantalkingoftheirpoemsandthemselves.Onefellow,withthe

mostlyricalassurance,numberedupwholehostsoffirst-rate

nobilityandhigh-flyingdames,whowerequiteenrapturedwith

hismuse.Another,thoughitwasnotforhimtoarraignthe

choicewhichalearnedsocietyhadlatelymadeoftwonew

members,couldnothelpsayingthatitwasstrangetheyshould

nothaveelectedhim.Alltherestweremuchinthesamestory.

Amidtheclatterofknivesandforks,myearsweremore

discordantlydinnedwithversesandharangues.Theyeachtookit

byturnstogivemeaspecimenoftheircomposition.One

languishesoutasonnet;anothermouthsasceneinatragedy;and

athirdreadsamelancholycriticismontheprovinceofcomedy.

ThenextinturnspoutsanodeofAnacreon,translatedintomost

un-anacreonticSpanishverse.Oneofhisbrethreninterruptshim,

topointouttheunclassicaluseofaparticularphrase.The

authoroftheversionbynomeansacquiescesintheremark;hence

arisesanargument,inwhichalltheliteratitakeonesideor

theother.Opinionsarenearlybalanced;thedisputantsare

nearlyinapassion;asargumentweakens,invectivegrows

stronger;theygetfrombadtoworse;overgoesthetable,andup

jumptheytofisty-cuffs.Fabricio,Scipio,mycoachman,my

footman,andmyself,havescarcelylungsorstrengthtobring

themtotheirsenses.Themomentthebattlewasover,off

scamperedtheyasifmyhousehadbeenatavern,withoutthe

slightestapologyfortheirillbehaviour.

Nunez,onwhosewordIhadanticipatedaverypleasantparty,

lookedratherblueatthisconclusion.Well,myfriend,saidI,

whatdoyouthinkofyourliteraryacquaintancenow?Assureas

ApolloisonParnassus,youbroughtmeamostblackguardset.I

willsticktomyclerks;sotalknomoretomeaboutauthors.I

shalltakecare,answeredhe,nottoinviteanyofthemtoa

gentleman’shouseagain;forthesearethemostselectandwell-manneredofthetribe.

CH.X.—ThemoralsofGilBlasbecomeatcourtmuchasifthey

hadneverbeenatall.AcommissionfromtheCountdeLemos,

which,likemostcourtcommissions,impliesanintrigue.

WHENoncemynamewasupforamanaftertheDukeofLerma’sown

heart,Ihadverysoonmycourtaboutme.Everymorningwasmy

antechambercrowdedwithcompany,andmyleveeswereallthe

fashion.Twosortsofcustomerscametomyshop;oneset,to

engagemyinterpositionwiththeminister,onfaircommercial

principles;theotherset,toexcitemycompassionbypathetic

statementsoftheircases,andgivemealifttoheavenonthe

packhorseofcharity.Thefirstweresureofbeingheard

patientlyandserveddiligently;withregardtothesecondorder,

Igotridofthematoncebyplausibleevasions,orkeptthem

danglingtilltheyworetheirpatiencethreadbare,andwentoff

inahuff.BeforeIwasaboutthecourtmynaturewas

compassionateandcharitable;buttendernessofheartisan

unfashionablefrailtythere,andminebecameharderthanany

flint.Herewasanadmirableschooltocorrecttheromantic

sensibilitiesoffriendship:norwasmyphilosophyanylonger

assailableinthatquarter.MymannerofdealingwithJoseph

Navarro,underthefollowingcircumstances,willprovemorethan

volumesonthathead.

ThisNavarro,thefounderofmyfortune,towhommyobligations

werethickandthreefold,paidmeavisitoneday.Withthe

warmestexpressionsofregardsuchashewasinthehabitof

lavishing,hebeggedmetoasktheDukeofLermaforacertain

situationforoneofhisfriends,ayoungmanofexcellent

qualitiesandundoubtedmerit,butincumberedwithaninability

ofgettingonintheworld.Iamwellassured,addedJoseph,that

withyourgoodandobligingdisposition,youwillbeenraptured

toconferafavouronaworthymanwithaveryslenderpurse;I

amsureyouwillfeelobligedtomeforgivingyouanopportunity

ofcarryingyourbenevolentinclinationsintoeffectThiswas

justasgoodastellingmethatthebusinesswastobedonefor

nothing.Thoughsuchdoctrinewasnotquiteleveltomycapacity,

Istillaffectedawishtodoashedesired.Itgivesmeinfinite

pleasure,answeredItoNavarro,tohaveitinmypowertoevince

mylivelysenseofallyourformerkindnesstome.Itisenough

foryoutotakeanymanlivingbythehand;fromthatmomenthe

becomestheobjectofmyunweariedcare.Yourfriendshallhave

thesituationyouwantforhim;nay,hehasitalready:itisno

longeranyconcernofyours;leaveitentirelytome.

OnthisassuranceJosephwentawayinhighglee;nevertheless,

thepersonherecommendedhadnotthepostinquestion.Itwas

giventoanotherman,andmystrongboxwasthestrongerbya

thousandducats.Thissumwasinfinitelypreferabletoallthe

thanksintheworld,sothatIlookedpitifullyblankwhennext

wemet,saying—Ah,mydearNavarro!youshouldhavethoughtof

speakingtomesooner.ThatCalderonagotthestartofme;hehas

givenawayacertainthingthatshallbenameless.Iamvexedto

thesoulnottomeetyouwithbettertidings.

Josephwasfoolenoughtogivemecredit,andwepartedbetter

friendsthanever;butIsuspectthathesoonfoundoutthe

truth,forhenevercamenearmeagain.ThiswasjustwhatI

wanted.Besidesthatthememoryofbenefitsreceivedgrated

harshly,itwouldnothavebeenatallthethingforapersonin

mythenspheretokeepcompanywithacertaindescriptionof

people.

TheCountdeLemoshasbeenlonginthebackground,letusbring

himalittleforwarderonthecanvas.Wemetoccasionally.Ihad

carriedhimathousandpistoles,asthereaderwillrecollect;

andInowcarriedhimathousandmore,byorderofhisunclethe

duke,outofhisexcellency’sfundslyinginmyhands.Onthis

occasiontheCountdeLemoshonouredmewithalongconference.

Heinformedmethatatlengthhehadcompletelygainedhisend,

andwasinunrivalledpossessionofthePrinceofSpain’sgood

graces,whosesoleconfidanthewas.Hisnextconcernwasto

investmewitharighthonourablecommission,ofwhichhehad

alreadygivenmeahint.FriendSantillane,saidhe,nowisthe

timetostrikewhiletheironishot.Sparenopainstofindout

someyoungbeauty,worthytowhileawaytheprince’samorous

hours.Youhaveyourwitsaboutyou;andawordtothewiseis

sufficient.Go;runaboutthetown;pryintoeveryholeand

corner;andwhenyouhavepounceduponanythinglikelytosuit,

youwillcomeandletmeknow.Ipromisedthecounttoleaveno

stoneunturnedintheduedischargeofmyemployment,which

seemedtorequirenogreatforceofgenius,sincetheprofessors

ofthesciencearesonumerous.

Ihadnothithertobeenmuchpractisedinsuchdelicate

investigations,butitwasmorethanprobablethatScipiohad,

andthathistalentlaypeculiarlythatway.OnmyreturnhomeI

calledhimin,andspokethustohiminprivate:Mygoodfellow,

Ihaveaveryimportantsecrettoimpart.Doyouknowthatinthe

midstoffortune’sfavours,thereissomethingstillwantingto

crownallmywishes?Icaneasilyguesswhatthatis,interrupted

he,withoutgivingmetimetofinishwhatIwasgoingtosay;you

wantalittlesnugbitofcontrabandamusement,tokeepyouawake

ofevenings,andruboffthedustofbusiness.And,infact,it

isamarvellousthingthatyoushouldhaveplayedtheJosephin

theheydayofyourblood,whensomanygreybeardsaroundyouare

playingtheElder.Iadmirethequicknessofyourapprehension,

repliedIwithasmile.Yes,myfriend,amistressisthat

somethingstillwanting;andyoushallchooseforme.ButI

forewarnyouthatIamnicehungry,andmusthaveapretty

person,withmorethanpassablemanners.Thesortofthingthat

yourequire,returnedScipio,isnotalwaystobemetwithinthe

market.Yet,asluckwillhaveit,weareinatownwhere

everythingistobegotformoney,andIaminhopesthatyour

commissionwillnothanglongonhand.

Accordinglywithinthreedayshepulledmebythesleeve:Ihave

discoveredatreasure!ayoungladywhosenameisCatalina,of

goodfamilyandmatchlessbeauty,livingwithherauntinasmall

house,wheretheymakebothendsmeetbyclubbingtheirlittle

matters,andsettheslanderousworldatdefiance.Theirwaiting-maid,agirlofmyacquaintance,hasgivenmetounderstandthat

theirdoor,thoughbarredagainstallimpertinentintruders,

wouldturnuponitshingestoarichandgeneroussuitor,ifhe

wouldonlyconsent,forfearofpryingneighbours,nottopayhis

visitstillafternight-fall,andtheninthemostprivatemanner

possible.HereuponImagnifiedyouastheproperestgentlemanin

theworld,andintreatedpietyinpattenstoofferyourhumble

servicestotheladies.Shepromisedtodoso,andtobringme

backmyanswerto-morrowmorningatanappointedplace.Thatis

allverywell,answeredI;butIamafraidyourgoddessofbed-makinghasbeenrunningherriguponyou.No,no,repliedhe,old

birdsarenottobecaughtwithchaff;Ihavealreadymade

inquiryintheneighbourhood,andbythegeneralreportofher,

SignoraCatalinaisasecondDanae,onwhomyouwillhavethe

happinessofcomingdown,

LikeJovedescendingfromhistower,

Tocourtherinasilvershower.

OutofconceitasIwaswiththeintrinsicvalueofladies’

favours,thiswasnottobescoffedat;andasourMercuryin

petticoatscamethenextdaytotellScipiothatitonlydepended

onmetobeintroducedthatveryevening,Idroppedinbetween

elevenandtwelveo’clock.Theknowingonereceivedmewithout

bringingacandle,andledmebythehandintoaveryneat

apartment,wherethetwoladiesweresittingonasatinsofa,

dressedinthemosteleganttaste.Assoonastheysawmeenter,

theygotupandwelcomedmeinastyleofsuchsuperiorbreeding,

aswouldnothavedisgracedthehighestrank.Theaunt,whose

namewasSignoraMencia,thoughwiththeremainsofbeauty,had

noattractionsforme.Buttheniecehadamillion,forshewasa

goddessinmortalform.Andyet,toexaminehercritically,she

couldnothavebeenadmittedforaperfectbeauty;butthenthere

wasacharmaboveallrulesofsymmetry,withatinglingand

luxuriouswarmthabouther,thatseizedonmen’sheartsthrough

theireyes,andpreventedtheirbrainsfrombeingtoobusy.

Neitherweremysensesproofagainstsodazzlingadisplay.I

forgotmyerrandasproxy,andspokeonmyownprivateindividual

account,withtheenthusiasmofarawrecruitinthetender

passion.Thedearlittlecreature,whosewitsoundedinmyears

withthreetimesitsactualacuteness,underfavourofher

naturalendowments,madeacompleteconquestofmebyher

prattle.Ibegantolaunchoutintofoolishraptures,whenthe

aunt,tobringmetomybearings,ledtheconversationtothe

pointinhand:SignordeSantillane,Ishalldealveryexplicitly

withyou.OnthehighencomiumsIhaveheardofyourcharacter,

youhavebeenadmittedhere,withouttheaffectationofmaking

muchadoabouttrifles:butdonotimaginethatyourviewsare

thenearertheirterminationforthat.HithertoIhavebroughtmy

nieceupinretirement,andyouare,asitwere,theveryfirst

malecreatureonwhomshehaseverseteyes.Ifyoudeemher

worthyofbeingyourwife,Ishallfeelmyselfhighlyhonouredby

thealliance:itisforyoutoconsiderwhetherthosetermssuit

you;butyoucannothaveheroncheaper.

Thiswasproceedingtobusinesswithavengeance!Itputlittle

Cupidtoflightatonce:orelsehewasjustgoingtotryoneof

hissharpestarrowsuponme.ButatrucewiththePantheon!A

marriagesobluntlyproposeddispelledthefairyvision:Isunk

backatonceintothecount’sploddingagent;andchangingmy

tone,answeredSignoraMenciathus:Madam,yourfrankness

delightsme,andIwillmeetithalf-way.WhateverrankImay

holdatcourt,lowerthanthehighestistoolowforthepeerless

Catalina.Afarmorebrilliantofferwaitsheracceptance;the

PrinceofSpainshallbethrownintohertoils.Surelyitwas

enoughtohaverefusedmyniece,repliedtheauntsarcastically;

suchcomplimentsaresufficientlyunpleasingtooursex;itcould

notbenecessarytomakeusyourunfeelingsport.Ireallyamnot

insomerryamood,madam!exclaimedI:itisaplainmatterof

fact;Iamcommissionedtolookoutforayoungladyofmerit

sufficienttoengagetheprince’sheart,andreceivehisprivate

visits;theobjectofmysearchisinyourhouse,andherehis

royalhighnessshallfixhisquarters.

SignoraMenciacouldscarcelybelievehercars;neitherwerethey

grievouslyoffended.Nevertheless,thinkingitdecenttobe

startledattheimmoralityoftheproceeding,sherepliedtothe

followingeffect:ThoughIshouldgiveimplicitcredittowhat

youtellme,youmustunderstandthatIamnotofacharacterto

takepleasureintheinfamousdistinctionofseeingmyniecea

prince’sconcubine.Everyfeelingofvirtueandofhonourrevolts

attheidea….Whatasimpletonyouarewithyourvirtueand

honour!interruptedI.Youhavenotanotionabovethelevelofa

tradesman’swife.Wasthereeveranythingsostupidasto

consideraffairsofthiskindwithaviewtotheirmoral

tendency?Itisstrippingthemofalltheirbeautyand

excellence.Inthemagiclanthornofplenty,pleasure,and

preferment,theyappearwithalltheirbrightestgloss.Figureto

yourselftheheirtothemonarchyatthehappyCatalina’sfeet;

fancyhimallraptureandlavishbounty;nordoubtbutthatfrom

hershallspringahero,whoshallimmortalizehismother’sname,

byenrollinghisownintheunperishablerecordsofeternalfame.

Thoughtheauntdesirednobettersportthantotakemeatmy

word,sheaffectednottoknowwhatshehadbestdo;and

Catalina,wholongedtohaveagrapplewiththePrinceofSpain,

affectednottocareaboutthematter;whichmadeitnecessary

formetopressthesiegecloser;tillatlengthSignoraMencia,

findingmechop-fallenandreadytowithdrawmyforces,soundeda

parley,andagreedtoaconvention,containingthetwofollowing

articles.Imprimis,ifthePrinceofSpain,onthefameof

Catalina’scharms,shouldtakefire,anddeterminetopayhera

nightlyvisit,itshouldbemycaretolettheladiesknowwhen

theymightexpecthim.Secondo,thattheprinceshouldbe

introducedtothesaidladiesasaprivategentleman,accompanied

onlybyhimselfandhisprincipalpurveyor.

Afterthiscapitulation,theauntandniecewereuponthebest

termspossiblewithme:theybehavedasifwehadknownone

anotherfromourcradles;onthestrengthofwhichIventuredon

somelittlefamiliarities,whichwerenottakenatallunkindly;

andwhenweparted,theyembracedmeoftheirownaccord,and

slabberedmeoverwithinexpressiblefondness.Itismarvellous

tothinkwithwhatfacilityatenderconnectionisformedbetween

personsinthesamelineoftrade,butofoppositesexes.It

mighthavebeensuspectedbyaneye-witnessofmydeparture,in

alltheplenitudeofwarmandrepeatedsalutation,thatmyvisit

hadbeenmoresuccessfulthanitwas.

TheCountdeLemoswashighlydelightedwhenIannouncedthe

long-expecteddiscovery.IspokeofCatalinaintermswhichmade

himlongtoseeher.ThefollowingnightItookhimtoherhouse,

andheownedthatIhadbeatthebushtosomepurpose.Hetold

theladies,hehadnodoubtbutthePrinceofSpainwouldbe

fullysatisfiedwithmychoiceofamistress,who,onherpart,

wouldhavereasontobewellpleasedwithsuchalover;thatthe

youngprincewasgenerous,good-tempered,andamiable;inshort,

hepromisedinafewdaystobringhiminthemodetheyenjoined,

withoutretinueorpublicity.Thatnoblemanthentookleaveof

them,andIwithdrewwithhim.Wegotintohiscarriage,inwhich

wehadbothdriventhither,andwhichwaswaitingattheendof

thestreet.Hesetmedownatmyowndoor,withaspecialcharge

toinformhisunclenextdayofthenewgamestarted,not

forgettingtoimpressstronglyhowconduciveagoodbagof

pistoleswouldbetothesuccessfulaccomplishmentofthe

adventure.

IdidnotfailonthefollowingmorningtogoandgivetheDuke

ofLermaanexactaccountofallthathadpassed.Therewasbut

onethingkeptback.IdidnotmentionScipio’sname,buttook

credittomyselfforthediscoveryofCatalina.Onemakesamerit

ofanydirtyworkintheserviceofthegreat.

Abundantwerethecomplimentspaidmeonthisoccasion.Mygood

friendGilBlas,saidtheministerwithabanteringair,Iam

delightedthatwithallyourtalentsyouhavethatbesidesof

discoveringkind-heartedbeauties;wheneverIhaveoccasionfor

suchanarticle,youwillhavethegoodnesstosupplyme.My

lord,answeredIwithmockgravitylikehisown,youarevery

obligingtogivemethepreference;butitmaynothe

unseasonabletoobservethattherewouldbeanindelicacyinmy

administeringtoyourexcellency’spleasuresofthisdescription.

SignorDonRodrigohasbeensolonginpossessionofthatpost

aboutyourperson,thatitwouldbemanifestinjusticetorobhim

ofit.Thedukesmiledatmyanswer;andthenchangingthe

subject,askedwhetherhisnephewdidnotwantmoneyforthisnew

speculation.Excusemynegligence!saidI;hewillthankyouto

sendhimathousandpistoles.Wellandgood!repliedthe

minister;youwillfurnishhimaccordingly,withmystrict

injunctionnottobeniggardly,buttoencouragetheprincein

whateverpleasurableexpenseshisheartmayprompthimto

indulge.

CH.XI.—ThePrinceofSpain’ssecretvisit,andpresentsto

Catalina.

IWENTtotheCountdeLemosonthespuroftheoccasion,with

fivehundreddoublepistolesinmyhand.Youcouldnothavecome

atabettertime,saidthatnobleman.Ihavebeentalkingwith

theprince;hehastakenthebait,andburnswithimpatienceto

seeCatalina.Thisverynightheintendstoslipprivatelyoutof

thepalace,andpayheravisit;itisameasuredeterminedon,

andourarrangementsarealreadymade.Givenoticetotheladies,

throughthemediumofthecashyouhavejustbrought;itis

propertoletthemknowtheyhavenoordinarylovertoreceive;

andamatterofcoursethatgenerosityinprincesshouldbethe

heraldoftheirpartialities.Asyouwillbeofourparty,take

caretobeinthewayatbed-time:andasyourcarriagewillbe

wanted,letitwaitnearthepalaceaboutmidnight.

Iimmediatelyrepairedtotheladies.Catalinawasnotvisible,

havingjustgonetoliedown.IcouldonlyspeakwithSignora

Mencia.Madam,saidI,forgivemyappearancehereintheday-time,buttherewasnoavoidingit;youmustknowthatthePrince

ofSpainwillbewithyouto-night;andhere,addedI,puttingmy

pecuniarycredentialsintoherhand,hereisanofferingwhichhe

laysontheCythereanshrine,topropitiatethedivinitiesofthe

temple.Youmayperceive,Ihavenotentangledyouina

sleevelessconcern.Youhavebeenexcessivelykindindeed,

answeredshe;buttellme,SignordeSantillane,doestheprince

lovemusic?Todistraction,repliedI.Thereisnothingheso

muchdelightsinasafinevoice,withadelicatelute

accompanimentSomuchthebetter,exclaimedsheinatransportof

joy;yougivemegreatpleasurebysayingso;formyniecehas

thepipeofanightingale,andplaysexquisitelyonthelute:

thenherdancingisinthefineststyle!Heavensandearth!

exclaimedIinmyturn,hereareaccomplishmentsbywholesale,

aunt;morethanenoughtomakeanygirl’sfortune!Anyoneof

thosetalentswouldhavebeenasufficientdowry.

Havingthussmoothedhisreception,Iwaitedfortheprince’s

bed-time.Whenitwasnearathand,Igavemycoachmanhis

orders,andwenttotheCountdeLemos,whotoldmethatthe

prince,thesoonertogetridofthepeopleabouthim,meantto

feignaslightindisposition,andeventogotobed,thebetter

tocajolehisattendants;butthathewouldgetupanhour

afterwards,andgothroughaprivatedoortoabackstaircase

leadingintothecourt-yard.

Conformablywiththeirpreviousarrangements,hefixedmy

station.TherehadItobeatthehoofsolong,thatIbeganto

suspectourforwardsprigofroyaltyhadgoneanotherway,or

elsehadchangedhismindaboutCatalina;justasifprincesever

begantobefickle,tillthegoadofnoveltyandcuriositybegan

tobeblunted.Inshort,Ithoughttheyhadforgottenme,when

twomencameup.Findingthemtobemyparty,Iledthewaytomy

carriage,intowhichtheybothgot,andIuponthecoach-boxto

directthedriver,whomIstoppedfiftyyardsfromthehouse,

whitherwewalked.Thedooropenedatourapproach,andshut

againassoonaswegotin.

Atfirstwewereinabsolutedarkness,asonmyformervisit,

thoughasmalllampwasfixedtothewallonthepresent

occasion.Butthelightwhichitshedwassofaint,asonlyto

renderitselfvisiblewithoutassistingus.Allthisservedonly

toheightentheromanceinthefancyofitshero,fixedashewas

insteadfastgazeatthesightoftheladiesastheyreceivedhim

inasaloonwhosebrilliantilluminationwasmoredazzling,when

contrastedwiththegloomoftheavenue.Theauntandniecewere

inatemptingundress,wherethescienceofcoquetrywas

displayedinallitsluxuryandabsolutesway.Ourprincecould

havebeenhappywithSignoraMencia,hadthedearcharmer

Catalinabeenaway;butastherewasachoice,theyounger,

accordingtotherulesofprecedencyinthecourtofCupid,had

thepreference.

Well!prince,saidtheCountdeLemos,couldyouhavedesireda

betterspecimenofbeauty?Theyarebothenchanting,answeredthe

prince,andmyheartmayaswellsurrenderatonce;fortheaunt

wouldarrestitinitsflight,ifitattemptedtosoundaretreat

fromtheniece’sall-subduingcharms.

Aftersuchcompliments,asdonotfallbywholesaletotheshare

ofaunts,headdressedhischoicesttermsofflatteryto

Catalina,whoansweredhiminkind.Asconvenientpersonagesof

mystampareallowedtomingleintheconversationoflovers,for

thepurposeofmakingfirehotter,Iintroducedthesubjectof

singingandplayingonthelute.Thiswasthesignaloffresh

rapture!andthenymph,themuse,theanythingbutmortal,was

supplicatedtoouttunethejingleofthespheres.Shecomplied

likeagood-humouredgoddess;playedsometenderairs,andsung

sodeliciously,thattheprincefloppeddownonhiskneesina

tumultofloveandpleasure.Butsceneslikethesearevapidin

description:sufficeittosaythathoursglidedawaylike

momentsinthissweetdelirium,tilltheapproachofdaywarned

thesoberplottersofthelunacytoprovidefortheirpatient’s

safety,andtheirown.Whenthepartieswereallsnuglyhoused,

wegaveourselvesasmuchcreditforthenegotiationasifwehad

patchedupamarriagewithaprincess.

ThenextmorningtheDukeofLermadesiredtoknowallthe

particulars.JustasIhadfinishedrelatingthem,theCountde

Lemoscameinandsaid—ThePrinceofSpainissoengrossedby

Catalina;hehastakensodecidedafancytoher,thathe

actuallyproposestobeconstant.Hewantedtohavesenther

jewelstotheamountoftwothousandpistolesto-day,buthis

financesweeaground.MydearLemos,saidhe,addressinghimself

tome,youmustabsolutelygetmethatsum.Iknowitisvery

inconvenient;youhavepawnedyourcreditformealready,butmy

heartownsitselfyourdebtor;andifeverIhavethemeansof

returningyourkindnessbymorethanemptywords,yourfortunes

shallnotsufferbyyourcomplaisance.Inanswer,Iassuredhim

thatIhadfriendsandcredit,andpromisedtobringhimwhathe

wanted.

Thereisnodifficultyaboutthat,saidtheduketohisnephew.

Santillanewillbringyouthemoney;or,tosavetrouble,hemay

purchasethejewels,forheisanadmirablejudge,especiallyof

rubies.Areyounot,GilBlas?Thisstrokeofsatirewasof

coursedesignedtoentertainthecountatmyexpense,anditwas

successful,forhiscuriositycouldnotbutbeexcitedtoknow

themeaningofthemystery.Nomysteryatall,repliedhisuncle

withabroadlaugh.OnlySantillanetookitintohisheadoneday

toexchangeadiamondforaruby,andthebarteroperatedequally

totheadvantageofhispocketandhispenetration.

Hadtheministerstoppedthere,Ishouldhavecomeoffcheaply;

buthetookthetroubleofdressingoutinaggravatedcoloursthe

trickthatCamillaandDonRaphaelplayedme,withamost

provokingenlargementofthecircumstancesmosttothe

disadvantageofmysagacity.Hisexcellencyhavingenjoyedhis

joke,orderedmetoattendtheCountdeLemostoajeweller’s,

whereweselectedtrinketsforthePrinceofSpain’sinspection,

andtheywereintrustedtomycaretobedeliveredtoCatalina.

Therecanbelittledoubtofmykindreceptiononthefollowing

night,whenIdisplayedafinepairofdropear-rings,asthe

presentsofmyembassy.Thetwoladies,outoftheirwitsat

thesecostlytokensoftheprince’slove,sufferedtheirtongues

torunintoagossipingstrain,whiletheywerethankingmefor

introducingthemintosuchworshipfulsociety.Intheexcessof

theirjoy,theyforgotthemselvesalittle.Thereescapednowand

thencertainpeculiaridiomsofspeech,whichmademesuspect

thatthepartyinquestionwasnosuchdaintymorselforroyalty

tofeedupon.ToascertainpreciselywhatdegreeofobligationI

hadconferredontheheir-apparent,Itookmyleavewiththe

intentionofcoiningtoarightunderstandingwithScipio.

CH.XII.—Catalina’srealconditionaworryandalarmtoGil

Blas.Hisprecautionsforhisowneaseandquiet.

ONcominghome,Iheardadevilofanoise,andinquiredwhatwas

themeaningofit.TheytoldmethatScipiowasgivingasupper

tohalf-a-dozenofhisfriends.Theyweresingingasloudas

theirkingscouldroar,andthreateningthestabilityofthe

housewiththeirprotractedpealsoflaughter.Thismealwasnot

inallrespectsthebanquetofthesevenwisemen.

Thefounderofthefeast,informedofmyarrival,saidtohis

company:Sitstill,gentlemen,itisonlythemasterofthehouse

comehome,butthatneednotdisturbyou.Goonwithyourmerry-making;Iwill

butjustwhisperawordinhisear,andbeback

againinamoment.Hecametomeaccordingly.Whataninfernal

din!saidI.Whatsortofcompanydoyoukeepbelow?Haveyou,

too,gotinamongthepoets?Thankyoufornothing!answeredhe.

Yourwineistoogoodtobegiventosuchgentry;Iturnitto

betteraccount.Thereisayoungmanoflargepropertyinmy

party,whowishestolayoutyourcreditandhisownmoneyinthe

purchaseofaplace.Thislittlefestivityisallforhim.For

everyglasshefills,Iputontenpistoles,inadditiontothe

regularfee.Heshalldrinktillheisunderthetable.Ifthat

isthecase,repliedI,gotoyourpresidentship,anddonot

sparethecellar.

ThenwasnopropertimetotalkaboutCatalina;butthenext

morningIopenedthebusinessthus:FriendScipio,thetermswe

areuponentitlemetofairdealing.Ihavetreatedyoumorelike

anequalthanaservant,consequentlyyouwouldbemuchtoblame

tocheatmeonthefootingofamaster.Letus,therefore,have

nosecretstowardseachother.Iamgoingtotellyouwhatwill

surpriseyou;andyouonyourpartshallgivemeyoursincere

opinionaboutthetwowomenwithwhomyouhavebroughtme

acquainted.Betweenourselves,Isuspectthemtobenobetter

thantheyshouldbe;withsomuchthemoreoftheknaveintheir

composition,becausetheyaffectthesimpleton.Ifmyconjecture

beright,thePrinceofSpainhasnogreatreasontobedelighted

withmyactivity;forIwillowntoyoufrankly,thatitwasfor

himIspoketoyouaboutamistress.Ibroughthimtosee

Catalina,andheisoverheadandearsinlovewithher.Sir,

answeredScipio,youhavedealtsohandsomelybyme,thatIshall

actuponthesquarewithyou.Ihadyesterdayaprivateinter

viewwiththeabigail,andshegavemeamostentertaining

historyofthefamily.Youshallhaveitbriefly,thoughitdid

notcomebrieflytome.

CatalinawasdaughtertoasortofgentlemaninArragon.An

orphanatfifteen,withnofortunebutaprettyface,shelenta

complyingeartoanofficerwhocarriedherofftoToledo,where

hediedinsixmonths,havingbeenmorelikeafatherthana

husbandtoher.Shecollectedhiseffectstogether,consistingof

theirjointwardrobeandthreehundredpistolesinreadymoney,

andthenwenttohousekeepingwithSignoraMencia,whowasstill

infashion,thoughalittleonthewane.Thesesisters,everyway

butinblood,beganatlengthtoattracttheattentionofthe

police.Theladiestookumbrageatthis,anddecampedindudgeon

forMadrid,wheretheyhavebeenlivingforthesetwoyears,

withoutmakinganyacquaintanceintheneighbourhood.Butnow

comesthebestofthejoke:theyhavetakentwosmallhouses

adjoiningeachother,withapassageofcommunicationthroughthe

cellars.SignoraMencialiveswithaservantgirlinoneofthese

houses,andtheofficer’swidowinhabitstheother,withanold

duenna,whomshepassesoffforhergrandmother,sothather

versatilechildofnatureissometimesaniecebroughtupbyher

aunt,andsometimesanorphanunderhergrandam’sfosteringwing.

Whensheenactstheniece,hernameisCatalina;andwhenshe

personatesthegrand-daughter,shecallsherselfSirena.

AtthegratingsoundofSirenaIturnedpale,andinterrupted

Scipio,saying—Whatdoyoutellme?Alas!itmustbeso:This

cursedimpofArragonisCalderona’scharmingSiren.Tobesure

sheis,answeredhe,theverysame!Ithoughtyouwouldbe

delightedatthenews.Quitethereverse,repliedI.Itportends

moresorrowthanlaughter;donotyouanticipatethe

consequences?Noneofanyillomen,rejoinedScipio.Whatis

theretobeafraidof?ItisnotcertainthatDonRodrigowill

rubhisforehead;andincaseanygood-naturedfriendshouldshow

ithimintheglass,youhadbetterlettheministerintothe

secretbeforehand.Tellhimallthecircumstancesstraightforward

astheyhappened;hewillseethattherehasbeennotrickon

yourpart;andifafterthatCalderonashouldattempttodoyou

anillofficewithhisexcellency,itwillbeasclearas

daylightthatheisonlyactuatedbyaspiritofrevenge.

Scipioremovedallmyapprehensionsbythisadvice,whichI

followed,inacquaintingtheDukeofLermaatoncewiththis

unluckydiscovery.Myaspect,whiletellingmytale,was

sorrowful,andmytonefaltering,inevidenceofmycontrition

forhavingunadvisedlybroughttheprinceandDonRodrigointo

suchclosequarters;buttheministerwasmoredisposedtoroast

hisfavouritethantopityhim.Indeed,heorderedmetoletthe

mattertakeitsowncourse,consideringitasafeatherin

Calderona’scaptodisputetheempireoflovewithsoillustrious

arival,andnottobeworseusedthanhislawfulprince.The

CountdeLemos,too,wasinformedhowthingsstood,andpromised

mehisprotection,ifthefirstsecretaryshouldcomeatthe

knowledgeoftheintrigue,andattempttounderminemewiththe

duke.

Trustingtohavesecuredthefrailbarkofmyfortunesbythis

notablecontrivancefromtherocksandquicksandsthatthreatened

it,mymindwasoncemoreatrest.Icontinuedattendingthe

princeonhisvisitstoCatalina,sirenlikeinnatureasin

nickname,whowasfertileinquaintdevicestokeepDonRodrigo

awayfromnextdoor,wheneverthecourseofbusinessrequiredher

todevotehernightstohisroyalcompetitor.

CH.XIII.—GilBlasgoesonpersonatingthegreatman.Hehears

newsofhisfamily:atouchofnatureontheoccasion.Agrand

quarrelwithFabricio.

IMENTIONEDsometimeago,thatinthemorningtherewasusually

acrowdofpeopleinmyantechamber,comingtonegotiatelittle

privateconcernsinthewayofpolitics;butIwouldneversuffer

themtoopentheirbusinessbywordofmouth;butadoptingcourt

precedent,orrathergivingmyselftheairsofajackinoffice,

mylanguagetoeverysuitorwas—Sendinamemorialonthe

subject.Mytongueransogliblytothattune,thatonedayI

gavemylandlordtheofficialanswer,whenhecametoputmein

mindofatwelvemonth’srentinarrear.Asformybutcherand

baker,theysparedthetroubleofaskingfortheirmemorials,by

nevergivingmetimetorunupabill.Scipio,whomimickedmeso

exactly,thatonlythosebehindthescenescoulddistinguishthe

doublefromtheprincipalperformer,heldhisheadjustashigh

withthepoordevilswhocurriedfavourwithhim,asastepof

theladdertomyministerialpatronage.

Therewasanotherfoolishtrickofmine,ofwhichIdonotbyany

meanspretendtomakeamerit;neithermorenorlessthanthe

extremeassuranceoftalkingaboutthefirstnobility,justasif

Ihadbeenoneoftheirkidney.Suppose,forexample,theDukeof

Alva,theDukeofOssuna,ortheDukeofMedinaSidoniawere

mentionedinconversation,Icalledthemwithoutceremony,my

friendAlva,thatgood-naturedfellowOssuna,orthatcomicaldog

MedinaSidonia.Inaword,myprideandvanityhadswelledto

suchaheight,thatmyfatherandmotherwerenolongeramongthe

numberofmyhonouredrelatives.Alas!poorunderstrappers,I

neverthoughtofaskingwhetheryouhadsunkorwereswimmingin

theAsturias.Athoughtaboutyounevercameintomyhead.The

courthasallthesoporificvirtuesofLethe,inthecaseofpoor

relations.

Myfamilywascompletelyobliteratedfromthetabletsofmy

memory,whenonemorningayoungmanknockedatmydoorand

beggedtospeakwithmeforamomentinprivate.Hewasshown

intomycloset,where,withoutaskinghimtotakeachair,ashe

seemedtobequiteacommonfellow,Idesiredtoknowabruptly

whathewanted.How!SignorGilBlas?saidhe,doyounot

rememberme?ItwasinvainthatIperusedthelinesofhisface

overandoveragain;Iwasobligedtotellhimfairlythathehad

theadvantageofme.Why,Iamoneofyouroldschoolfellows!

repliedhe,bredandborninOviedo;BertrandMuscada,the

grocer’sson,next-doorneighbourtoyourunclethecanon.I

recollectyouaswellasifitwasbutyesterday.Wehaveplayed

athousandtimestogetheratblindman’sbuffandprisonbars.

Myyouthfulrecollections,answeredI,areverytransientand

confused.Blindman’sbuffandprisonbarsarebutchildish

amusement!Theburdenofstateaffairsleavesmelittletimeto

ruminateonthetriflesofmyyoungerdays.IamcometoMadrid,

saidhe,tosettleaccountswithmyfather’scorrespondent.I

heardtalkofyou!Folkssaythatyouhave,agoodberthat

court,andarealreadyalmostaswelloffasaJewbroker.I

thoughtIwouldjustcallinandsay,howd’yedo?Onmyreturn

intothecountry,yourfamilywilljumpoutoftheirskinsfor

joy,whentheyhearhowfamouslyyouaregettingon.

Itwasimpossibleindecencytoavoidaskinghowmyfather,my

mother,andmyunclestoodintheworld;butthatdutywas

performedinsogingerlyamanner,astoleavethegrocerlittle

roomtocomplimentdameNatureonherliberalprovisionof

instinct.Heseemedquiteshockedatmyindifferenceforsuch

nearkindred,andtoldmebluntly,withhiscoarseshopman’s

familiarity,Methinksyoumighthaveshownmoreheartinessand

naturalfeelingforyourkinsfolk!Why,youaskafterthemjust

asiftheywerevermin!Yourfatherandmotherarestillat

service;takethatinyourdish!Andthegoodcanon,GilPerez,

eatupwithgout,rheumatism,andoldage,hasonefootinthe

grave.Peopleshouldfeelaspeopleought;andseeingthatyou

areinaberthtobeablessingtoyourpoorparents,takea

friend’sadvice,andallowthemtwohundredpistolesayear.That

willbedoingahandsomething,andmakingthemcomfortable,and

thenyoumayspendtherestuponyourselfwithagoodconscience.

Insteadofbeingsoftenedbythisfamilypicture,Ionlyresented

theofficiousnessofunaskedadvice.Amoredelicateandcovert

remonstrancemightperhapshavemadeitsimpression,butsobold

arebukeonlyhardenedmyheart.Mysulkysilencewasnotlost

uponhim,sothatwhilehemoralizedhimselfoutofcharityinto

downrightabuse,mycholerbegantooverflow.Nay,then!thisis

toomuch,answeredI,inadevilofapassion.Getaboutyour

business,MasterMuscada,andmindyourownshop.Youarea

prettyfellowtopreachtome!AsifIweretobetaughtmyduty

byyou.WithoutfurtherparleyIhandedthegroceroutofmy

closetbytheshoulder,andsenthimofftoweighfigsand

nutmegsatOviedo.

Thehome-strokeshehadlaidonwerenotlosttomysober

recollection.Myneglectoffilialpietystruckhometomyheart,

andmeltedmeintotears.WhenIrecollectedhowmuchmy

childhoodwasindebtedtomyparents,whatpainstheyhadtaken

inmyeducation,theseaffectingthoughtsgavelanguageforthe

momenttothestillsmallvoiceofnatureandgratitude;butthe

languagewasnevertranslatedintosolidsenseandservice.An

habitualcallousnesssucceededthistransientsensation,and

peremptorilycancelledeveryobligationofhumanity.Thereare

manyfathersbesidesmine,whowillacknowledgethisportraitof

theirsons.

Avariceandambition,dividingmebetweenthem,annihilatedevery

traceofmyformertemper.Ilostallmygaiety,becameabsent

andmoping,—inshort,amostunsociableanimal.Fabricio

seeingmesofuriouslybentonaccumulation,andsoperfectly

indifferenttohim,veryrarelycametoseeme.Hecouldnothelp

sayingoneday:Intruth,GilBlas,youarequiteanalteredman.

Beforeyouwereaboutthecourt,youwerealwayspleasantand

easy.Nowyouareallagitationandturmoil.Youformproject

afterprojecttomakeafortune,andthemoreyourealize,the

wideryourviewsofaggrandizementextend.Butthisisnotthe

worst!Youhavenolongerthatexpansionofheart,thoseopen

manners,whichformthecharmoffriendship.Onthecontrary,you

wrapyourselfround,andshuttheavenuesofyourheartevento

me.Inyourverycivilities,Idetecttheviolenceyouimpose

uponyourself.Inshort,GilBlasisnolongerthesameGilBlas

whomIonceknew.

Youreallyhaveamosthappytalentforbantering,answeredI,

withrepulsivejocularity.Butthismetamorphoseintotheshagof

asavageisnotperceptibletomyself.Yourowneyes,repliedhe,

areinsensibletothechange,becausetheyarefascinated.But

thefactremainsthesame.Now,myfriend,tellmefairlyand

honestly,shallwelivetogetherasheretofore?WhenIusedto

knockatyourdoorinthemorning,youcameandopenedit

yourself;betweenasleepandawake,andIwalkedinwithout

ceremony.Now,whatadifference!Youhaveanestablishmentof

servants.Theykeepmecoolingmyheelsinyourantechamber;my

namemustbesentinbeforeIcanspeaktoyou.Whenthisisgot

over,whatismyreception?Acoldinclinationofthehead,and

theinsolentstrutofoffice.Anyonewouldsupposethatmy

visitsweregrowingtroublesome!Canyousupposethistobe

treatmentforamanwhowasonceonequaltermswithyou?No,

Santillane,itcanneverbe,norwillIbearitlonger.Farewell!

Letuspartwithoutillblood.Weshallbothbebetterasunder;

youwillgetridofatroublesomecensor,andIofapurse-proud

upstartwhodoesnotknowhimself.

Ifeltmyselfmoreexasperatedthanreformedbyhisreproaches;

andsufferedhimtotakehisdeparturewithouttheslightest

efforttoovercomehisresolution.Inthepresenttemperofmy

mind,thefriendshipofapoetdidnotseemacatchofsufficient

importancetobreakone’sheartaboutitsloss.Ifoundample

amendsintheintimacyofsomesubalternattendantsaboutthe

king’sperson,withwhomasimilarityofhumourhadlately

connectedmeclosely.Thesenewacquaintanceofminewereforthe

mostpartmenfromnooneknowswhere,pusheduptotheir

appointmentsmorebyluckthanmerit.Theyhadallgotintowarm

berths;and,wretchesastheywere,measuringtheirown

consequencebytheexcessofroyalbounty,forgottheiroriginas

scandalouslyasIforgotmine.Wegaveourselvesinfinitecredit

forwhattoldsomuchandbitterlytoourdisgrace.Ofortune!

whatajadeyouare,todistributeyourfavoursathaphazardas

youdo!Epictetuswasperfectlyintheright,whenhelikenedyou

toajiltoffashion,prowlingaboutinmasquerade,andtipping

thewinktoeveryblackguardwhoparadesthestreet.

BOOKTHENINTH.

CH.I.—Scipio’sschemeofmarriageforGilBlas.Thematch,a

richgoldsmith’sdaughter.Circumstancesconnectedwiththis

speculation.

ONEevening,onthedepartureofmysuppercompany,finding

myselfalonewithScipio,Iaskedhimwhathehadbeendoingthat

day.Strikingamasterstroke,answeredhe.Iintendthatyou

shouldmarry.Agoldsmithofmyacquaintancehasanonly

daughter,andImeantomakeupamatchbetweenyou.

Agoldsmith’sdaughter!exclaimedIwithadisdainfulair:are

yououtofyoursenses?Canyouthinkoftyingmeuptoa

trinket-maker?Peopleofacertaincharacterinsociety,andona

certainfootingatcourt,oughttohavemuchhigherviewsof

things.Pardonme,sir!rejoinedScipio,donottakethesubject

upinthatlight.Recollectthatnobilityaccruesbythemale

side,anddonotrideahigherhorsethanathousandjockeysof

qualitywhomIcouldname.Doyouknowthattheheiressin

questionwillbringahundredthousandducatsinherpocket?Is

notthataprettylittlesprigofjewellery?Totheresounding

echoofsolargeasum,myearswereinstantlysymphonious.The

dayisyourown,saidItothesecretary;thefortunedetermines

thecaseinthelady’sfavour.Whendoyoumeantoputmein

possession?Fairandsoftly,sir,answeredhe,themorehastethe

worsespeed.Itwillbenecessaryformefirsttocommunicatethe

affairtothefather,andinstiltheadvantageofitintohis

capacity.Good!rejoinedIwithaburstoflaughter;isit

thereaboutsyouare?Thematchisfaradvancedinitsprogress

towardsconsummation.Muchnearerthanyousuppose,repliedhe.

Butonehour’sconversationwiththegoldsmith,andIpledge

myselfforhisconsentBut,beforewegoanyfurther,letuscome

toanagreement,ifyouplease.SupposingthatIshouldtransfer

ahundredthousandducatstoyou,whatwouldmycommissionbe?

Twentythousand!wasmyanswer.Heavenbepraisedtherefore!said

he.Iguessedyourgratitudeattenthousand;sothatitdoubles

mineinasimilarcase.Comeonthen!Iwillsetthisnegotiation

onfootto-morrowmorning;andyoumaycountuponitssuccess,or

Iamlittlebetterthanoneofthefoolishones.

Infact,hesaidtometwodaysafterwards,Ihavespokento

SignorGabrielSalero,myfriendthegoldsmith.Ontheloud

reportofyourhighdesertandcredit,hehaslentafavourable

eartomyofferofyouforason-in-law.Youaretohavehis

daughterwithahundredthousandducats,providedyoucanmakeit

appearclearlythatyouareinpossessionoftheminister’sgood

graces.Sincethatisthecase,saidIconfidentlytoScipio,I

shallsoonbemarried.But,notentirelytoforgetthegirl,have

youseenher?isshepretty?Notquitesoprettyasherfortune,

answeredhe.Betweenourselves,thisheiress’slooksareashard

ashercash.Luckily,youareperfectlyindifferentaboutthat.

Stoneblind,bythelightofthesun,mygoodfellow!repliedI.

Asforuswhimsicalfellowsaboutcourt,wemarrymerelyforthe

sakeofmarrying.Whenwewantbeauty,welookforitinour

friends’wives;andif,byfatesanddestinies,thesweetsare

wastedonourown,theirflavourissomawkishtoourpalate,

thatthereissomemeritintheirnotcarryingthecommoditytoa

foreignmarket.

Thisisnotall,resumedScipio:SignorGabrielhopesforthe

pleasureofyourcompanytosupperthisevening.Byagreement,

thereistobenomentionofmarriage.Hehasinvitedseveralof

hismercantilefriendstothisentertainment,whereyouwilltake

yourchancewiththerest,andto-morrowhemeanstosupwithyou

onthesameterms.Bythisyouwillperceivehisdriftoflooking

beforeheleaps.Youwilldowelltobealittleonyourguard

beforehim.Oh!forthematterofthat,interruptedIwithanair

ofconfidence,lethimscrutinizemeascloselyashepleases,

theresultcannotfailtobeinmyfavour.

Allthishappenedasitwasforetold.Iwasintroducedatthe

goldsmith’s,whoreceivedmewiththefamiliarityofanold

acquaintance.Avulgardog,butwarm;andastroublesomewithhis

civilityasaprudewithhervirtue.HepresentedmetoSignora

Eugeniahiswife,andtheyouthfulGabrielahisdaughter.I

openedwidemybudgetofcompliments,withoutinfringingthe

treaty,andprattledsoftnothingstothem,inallthevacuityof

courtlydialogue.

Gabriela,withsubmissiontomysecretary’sbettertaste,wasnot

altogethersorepulsive;whetherbydintofbeingoutrageously

bedizened,orbecauseIlookedatherintheraree-shewboxof

herfortune.AcharminghousethisofSignorGabriel!Thereis

lesssilver,Iverilybelieve,inthePeruvianmines,thanunder

hisroof.Thatmetalpresenteditselftotheviewinall

directions,underathousanddifferentforms.Everyroom,and

especiallythatwherewewereentertained,wasafairypalace.

Whatabird’seyeviewforason-in-law!Theoldcodger,todo

thethinggenteelly,hadcollectedfiveorsixmerchantsabout

him,allploddingspirit-wearingpersonages.Theirtonguescould

onlytalkofwhattheirheartsweresetupon;itwashighchange

allsupper-time;butunfortunatelywitwasatadiscount.

Nextnight,itwasmyturntotreatthegoldsmith.Notbeingable

todazzlehimwithmysideboard,Ihadrecoursetoanother

artifice.Iinvitedtosuppersuchofmyfriendsasmadethe

finestfigureatcourt;hangers-onofstatenotedforthe

unwieldinessoftheirambition.Thesefellowscouldnottalkon

commontopics:thebrilliantandlucrativepostsatwhichthey

aimedwereallcanvassedindetail;thistoomadeitsway.Poor

countinghouseGabriel,inamazementattheloftinessoftheir

ideas,shrunkintoinsignificance,inspiteofallhishoards,on

acomparisonwiththesewonderfulmen.Asforme,inallthe

plausibilityofmoderation,Iprofessedtowishfornothingmore

thanacomfortablefortune;asnugboxandacompetence:

whereuponthesegluttonsoftheloavesandfishescriedoutwith

onevoicethatIwaswrong,absolutelycriminal;fortheprime

ministerwoulddoanythinguponearthforme,anditwasanact

ofdutytoanointmyfingerswithbirdlime.Myhonouredpapa

lostnotawordofallthis;andseemed,atgoingaway,totake

hisleavewithsomecomplacency.

Scipiowentofcoursethenextmorning,toaskhimhowheliked

me.Extremelywellindeed,answeredtheknightoftheledger;the

ladhaswonmyveryheart.But,goodmasterScipio,Iconjureyou

byourlongacquaintancetodealwithmeasatruefriend.We

haveallourweakside,asyouwellknow.TellmewhereSignorde

Santillaneisfallible.Ishefondofplay?doeshewench?On

whatlayarehissnuglittlevices?Donotfightshy,Ibeset

you.Itisveryunkind,SignorGabriel,toputsuchaquestion,

retortedthego-between.Yourinterestismoretomethanmy

master’s.Ifhehadanyslipperypropensities,likelytomake

yourdaughterunhappy,wouldIeverhaveproposedhimasasonin-law?Thedeuceabit!Iamtoomuchatyourservice.But,

betweenourselves,hehasbutonefault;thatofbeingfaultless.

Heistoowiseforayoungman.Somuchthebetter,repliedthe

goldsmith;heisthemorelikeme.Youmaygo,myfriend,and

tellhimheshallhavemydaughter,andshouldhaveherthoughhe

knewnomoreoftheministerthanIdo.

Assoonasmysecretaryhadreportedthisconversation,Iflewto

thankSaleroforhispartiality.Hehadalreadytoldhismindto

hiswifeanddaughter,whogavemetounderstandbytheir

reception,thattheyyieldedwithoutdisgust.Icarriedmy

father-in-lawtotheDukeofLerma,whomIhadinformedthe

eveningbefore,andpresentedhimwithdueceremony.His

excellencygavehimamostgraciousreception,andcongratulated

himonhavingchosenamanforhisson-in-law,forwhomhe

himselfhadsogreataregard,andmeanttodosuchgreatthings.

Thendidheexpatiateonmygoodqualities,and,infact,saidso

muchtomyhonour,thathonestGabrielthoughthehadmetwith

thebestmatchinSpain.Hisjoyoozedoutathiseyes.On

parting,hepressedmeinhisarms,andsaid:Myson,Iamso

impatienttoseeyouGabriela’shusband,thattheaffairshallbe

finallysettledwithinaweekatlatest.

CH.II.—Intheprogressofpoliticalvacancies,GilBlas

recollectsthatthereissuchamanintheworldasDonAlphonso

deLeyva;andrendershimaservicefrommotivesofvanity.

LETusleavemymarriagetotakecareofitselfforaseason.The

orderofeventsrequiresmetorecountaservicerenderedtomy

oldmasterDonAlphonso.Ihadentirelyforgottenthat

gentleman’sexistence;butacircumstancerecalledittomy

recollection.

ThegovernmentofValenciabecamevacantatthistime;andputme

inmindofDonAlphonsodeLeyva.Iconsideredwithinmyselfthat

theemploymentwouldsuithimtoanicety;anddeterminedto

applyforitonhisbehalf,notsomuchoutoffriendshipas

ostentation.IfIcouldbutprocureitforhim,itwoulddome

infinitehonour.ItoldtheDukeofLermathatIhadbeensteward

toDonCaesardeLeyvaandhisson;andthathavingeveryreason

intheworldtofeelmyselfobligedtothem,Ishouldtakeitas

afavourifhewouldgivethegovernmentofValenciatooneor

otherofthem.Theministeranswered:Mostwillingly,GilBlas.I

lovetoseeyougratefulandgenerous.Besides,thefamilystands

veryhighinmyesteem.TheLeyvasareloyalsubjects;sothat

theplacecannotbebetterbestowed.Youmaytakeitasawedding

present,anddowhatyoulikewithit.

Delightedatthesuccessofmyapplication,IwenttoCalderona

inaprodigioushurry,togetthepatentmadeoutforDon

Alphonso.Therewasagreatcrowd,waitinginrespectfulsilence

tillDonRodrigoshouldcomeandgiveaudience.Imademyway

through,andtheclosetdooropenedasifbysympathy.Therewere

nooneknowshowmanymilitaryandcivilofficers,withother

peopleofconsequence,amongwhomCalderonawasdividinghis

attentions.Hisdifferentreceptionofdifferentpeoplewas

curious.Aslightinclinationoftheheadwasenoughforsome;

othershehonouredwithaprofusionofcourtlygrimace,andbowed

thanoutofthecloset.Theproportionsofcivilitywereweighed

toascruple.Ontheotherhand,thereweresomesuitorswho,

shockedathiscoldindifference,cursedintheirsecretsoulthe

necessityfortheircringingbeforesuchamonkeyofanidol.

Others,onthecontrary,werelaughingintheirsleeveathis

grossandself-sufficientair.Butthescenewasthrownawayupon

me;norwasIlikelytoprofitbysuchalesson.Itwasexactly

thecounterpartofmyownbehaviour:andIneverthoughtof

ascertainingwhethermydeportmentwaspopularoroffensive,so

longastherewasnoviolationofoutwardrespect.

DonRodrigoaccidentallycastingalooktowardsme,lefta

gentleman,towhomhewasspeaking,withoutceremony,andcameto

payhisrespectswiththemostunaccountabletokensofhigh

consideration.Ah,mydearcolleague!exclaimedhe,whatoccasion

procuresmethepleasureofseeingyouhere!Isthereanythingwe

candoforyou?Itoldhimmybusiness;whereuponheassuredme,

inthemostobligingterms,thattheaffairshouldbeexpedited

withinfour-and-twentyhours.Notsatisfiedwiththese

overwhelmingcondescensions,heconductedmetothedoorofhis

antechamber,whitherheneverattendedanybutthenobilityof

firstrank.Hisfarewellwasasflatteringashisreception.

Whatisthemeaningofallthispalaver?saidIwhileretreating;

hasanyravencroakedmyentrance,andprophesiedpromotionto

Calderonabymyoverthrow?Doeshereallylanguishformy

friendship?ordoeshefeelthegroundgivingwayunderhisfeet,

andwishtosavehimselfbyclingingtothebranchesofmyfavour

andprotection?Itseemedamootpoint,whichofthese

conjecturesmightbetheright.Thefollowingday,onmyreturn,

hisbehaviourwasofthesamestamp;caressesandcivilities

pouredinuponmeintorrents.Itistruethatotherpeoplewho

attemptedtospeaktohim,wererampedinexactproportionwith

theblandishmentsofhisfacetowardsme.Hesnarledatsome,

petrifiedothers,andmadethewholecirclerunthegauntletof

hisdispleasure.Buttheywereallamplyavengedbyan

occurrence,therelationofwhichmaygiveagentlehinttoall

theclerksandsecretariesonthelistofmyreaders.

Amanveryplainlydressed,andcertainlynotlookingatalllike

whathewas,cameuptoCalderonaandspoketohimabouta

memorial,statedtohavebeenpresentedbyhimselftotheDukeof

Lerma.DonRodrigo,withoutlookingfromhisclothesuptohis

face,saidinasharp,ungracioustone—Whomayyouhappento

be,honestman?TheycalledmeFrancilloinmychildhood,

answeredthestrangerunabashed;mynextstyleandtitlewasthat

ofDonFrancillodeZuniga;andmypresentnameistheCountde

Pedrosa.Calderonawasallinatwitteratthisdiscovery,and

attemptedtostammeroutanexcuse,whenhefoundthathehadto

dowithamanofthefirstquality.Sir,saidhetotheCount,I

havetobegyou,tenthousandpardons;butnotknowingwhomIhad

thehonourto….Iwantnoneofyourapologies,interrupted

Francillowithproudindignation;theyareasnauseousasyour

rudenesswasunbecoming.Recollecthenceforth,thataminister’s

secretaryoughttoreceivealldescriptionsofpeoplewithgood

manners.Youmaybevainenoughtoaffecttherepresentativeof

yourmaster,butthepublicknowyouforhismenialservant.

ThehaughtyDonRodrigoblushedblueatthisrebuke.Yetitdid

notmendhismannersonewhit.Onmeitmadeasalutary

impression.Ideterminedtotakecareandascertaintherankof

mypetitioners,beforeIgavealoosetotheinsolenceofoffice,

andtoinflicttortureonlyuponmutes.AsDonAlphonso’spatent

wasmadeout,Isentitbyapurposemessenger,withaletter

fromtheDukeofLerma,announcingtheroyalfavour.ButItook

nonoticeofmyownshareintheappointment,noreven

accompanieditwithaline,inthefondhopeofannouncingitby

wordofmouth,andsurprisinghimagreeably,whenhecametothe

courtonoccasionoftakingthecustomaryoaths.

CH.III.—PreparationsforthemarriageofGilBlas.Aspoke

inthewheelofHymen.

ANDnowoncemoreformylovelyGabriela!Weweretobemarried

inaweek.Preparationsweremakingonbothsidesforthe

ceremony.Saleroorderedarichwardrobeforthebride,andI

hiredawaiting-womanforher,afootman,andagentlemanusher

ofdecentaspectandadvancedyears.Thewholeestablishmentwas

providedbyScipio,wholongedmorelonginglythanmyselfforthe

hourwhenweweretobefingeringthefortune.

Ontheeveningbeforethehappyday,Iwassuppingwithmy

father-in-law,therestofthecompanybeingmadeupofuncles,

aunts,andcousinsofeithersexandeverydegree.Thepartofa

supple-visagedson-in-lawsatuponmetoperfection.Nothing

couldexceedmyprofoundrespectforthegoldsmithandhiswife,

orthetransportsofmypassionatGabriela’sfeet,whileI

smoothedmywayintothegracesofthefamily,bylisteningwith

impregnablepatiencetotheirwitlessreparteesandirrational

ratiocinations.ThusdidIgainthegreatendofallmy

forbearance,thepleasureofpleasingmynewrelations.Every

individualoftheclanfelthimselfafoottallerforthehonour

ofmyalliance.

Therepastended,thecompanymovedintoalargeroom,wherewe

wereentertainedwithaconcertofvocalandinstrumentalmusic,

nottheworstthatwaseverheard,thoughtheperformerswerenot

selectedfromthechoicestbandsatMadrid.Somelivelyairsput

usinmindofdancing.Heavenknowswhatsortofperformerswe

musthavebeen,whentheytookmefortheCoryphaeusofthe

opera,thoughIneverhadbuttwoorthreelessonsfromapetty

dancing-master,whotaughtthepagesontheestablishmentofthe

MarchionessdeChaves.Afterwehadtiredourtendons,itwas

timetothinkofgoinghome.TherewasnoendofmybowsandGod-bless-you’s.Farewell,mydearson-in-law,saidSaleroashe

squeezedmyhand,Ishallbeatyourhouseinthemorningwith

theportioninreadymoney.Youwillbewelcome,comewhenyou

list,mydearfather-in-law,answeredI.Afterwards,wishingthe

familygoodnight,Ijumpedintomycarriage,andordereditto

drivehome.

ScarcelyhadIgottwohundredyardsfromSignorGabriel’shouse,

whenfifteenortwentymen,someonfootandsomeonhorseback,

allwithswordsandfire-arms,surroundedandstoppedthecoach,

cryingout,Inthenameofoursovereignlordtheking.They

draggedmeoutbymainforce,andthrustmeintoahack-chaise,

whentheleaderofthepartygotinwithme,andorderedthe

drivertogoforSegovia.Therecouldbenodoubtbutthehonest

gentlemanbymysidewasanalguazil.Iwantedtoknowsomething

aboutthecauseofmyarrest,butheansweredinthelanguageof

thosegentry,whichisverybadlanguage,thathehadother

thingstodothantosatisfymyimpertinentcuriosity.I

suggestedthathemighthavemistakenhisman.No,no,retorted

he,thefooliswiserthanthat.YouareSignordeSantillane;

andinthatcaseyouaretogoalongwithme.Notbeingableto

denythatfact,itbecameanactofprudencetoholdmytongue.

FortheremainderofthenightwetraversedMancanarezinsulky

silence,changedhorsesatColmenar,andarrivedthenextevening

atSegovia,wherethelodgingprovidedformewasinthetower.

CH.IV.—ThetreatmentofGilBlasinthetowerofSegovia.The

causeofhisimprisonment.

THEIRfirstfavourwastoclapmeupinacell,wheretheyleft

meonthestrawlikeacriminal,whoseonlyearthlyportionwas

toconoverhisdyingspeechinsolitude.Ipassedthenight,not

inbewailingmyfate,forithadnotyetpresenteditselfinall

itsaggravation,butinendeavouringtodivineitscause.

DoubtlessitmusthavebeenCalderona’shandiwork.Andyetthough

hisbranchinghonoursmighthavepressedthickuponhissenses,I

couldnotconceivehowtheDukeofLermacouldhavebeeninduced

totreatmesoinhumanly.SometimesIapprehendedmyarrestto

havebeenwithouthisexcellency’sknowledge;atothertimesI

thoughthimthecontriverofit,forsomepoliticalreasons,such

asweighwithministerswhentheysacrificetheiraccomplicesat

theshrineofstatepolicy.

Mymindwasvibratingtoandfrowiththesevariousconjectures,

whenthedawnpeepinginatmylittlegratedwindow,presentedto

mysightallthehorroroftheplacewhereIwasconfined.Then

didIventmysorrowswithoutceasing,andmyeyesbecametwo

springsoftears,flowinginexhaustiblyattheremembranceofmy

prosperousstate.Pendingthisparoxysmofgrief,aturnkey

broughtmemyday’sallowanceofbreadandwater.Helookedat

me,andonthecontemplationofmytear-besprinkledvisage,

gaolerashewas,therecameoverhimasentimentofpity:Donot

despair,saidhe.Thislifeisfullofcrosses,butmindthem

not.Youareyoung;afterthesedays,youwilllivetosee

better.Inthemeantime,eatattheking’smess,withwhat

appetiteyoumay.

Mycomforterwithdrewwiththisquaintinvitation,answeredbymy

groansandtears.Therestofthedaywasspentincursingmy

waywarddestiny,withoutthinkingofmyemptystomach.Asforthe

royalmorsel,itseemedmorelikethemessageofwraththanthe

boonofbenevolence;thetantalizingprotractionofpain,rather

thanthesolaceofaffliction.

Nightcame,andwithittherattleofakeyinmykeyhole.My

dungeondooropened,andincameamanwithawax-lightinhis

hand.Headvancedtowardsme,saying—SignorGilBlas,behold

inmeoneofyouroldfriends.IamDonAndrewdeTordesillas,in

theArchbishopofGrenada’sservicewhileyouenjoyedthat

prelate’sfavour.Youmayrecollectengaginghisinterestinmy

behalf,andtherebyprocuringmeapostinMexico;butinsteadof

embarkingfortheIndies,IstoppedinthetownofAlicant.There

Imarriedthegovernor’sdaughter,andbyaseriesofadventures

ofwhichyoushallhereafterhavetheparticulars,Iamnow

wardenofthistower.Itisexpresslyforbiddenmetoletyou

speaktoanylivingsoul,togiveyouanybetterbedthanstraw,

oranyothersustenancethanbreadandwater.Butbesidesthat

yourmisfortunesinterestmyhumanity,youhavedonemeservice,

andgratitudecountervailstheharshnessofmyorders.Theythink

tomakemetheinstrumentoftheircruelty,butitismybetter

purposetosoftentherigourofyourcaptivity.Getupandfollow

me.

Thoughmyhumanekeeperwasentitledtosomeacknowledgment,my

spiritsweresoaffectedastointerdictmyspeech.AllIcould

dowastoattendhim.Wecrossedacourt,andmountedanarrow

staircasetoalittleroomatthetopofthetower.Itwasno

smallsurprise,onentering,tofindatablewithlightsonit,

neatlysetoutwithcoversfortwo.Theywillserveup

immediately,saidTordesillas.Wearegoingtosuptogether.This

snugretreatisappointedforyourlodging;itwillagreebetter

withyouthanyourcell.Fromyourwindowyouwilllookdownon

theflowerybanksoftheEr�ma,andthedeliciousvaleofCoca,

boundedbythemountainswhichdividethetwoCastiles.Atfirst

youwillcarelittleforprospects;butwhentimeshallhave

softenedyourkeenersensationsintoacomposedmelancholy,it

willbeapleasuretofeastyoureyesonsuchengagingscenes.

Then,asforlinenandothernecessariesbefittingaman

accustomedtothecomfortsoflife,theyshallbealwaysatyour

service.Yourbedandboardshallbesuchasyoucouldwish,with

aplentifulsupplyofbooks.Inaword,youshallhaveeverything

butyourliberty.

Myspiritswerealittletranquillizedbytheseobligingoffers.

Itookcourageandreturnedmybestthanks,assuringhimthathis

generousconductrestoredmetolife,andthatIhopedatsome

timeorothertofindanopportunityoftestifyingmygratitude.

Tobesure!andwhyshouldyounot?answeredhe.Didyoufancy

yourselfaprisonerforlife?Nothinglesslikely!andIwould

layawagerthatyouwillbereleasedinaveryfewmonths.What

sayyou,SignorDonAndrew?exclaimedI.Thensurelyyouare

acquaintedwiththeoccasionofmymisfortune.Youguessright,

repliedhe.Thealguazilwhobroughtyouhithertoldmethewhole

storyinconfidence.Theking,hearingthattheCountdeLemos

andyouwereinthehabitofescortingthePrinceofSpainby

nighttoahouseofsuspiciouscharacter,asapunishmentfor

yourloosemorals,hasbanishedthecount,andsentyouhither,

tobetreatedinthestyleofwhichyouhavehadaspecimen.And

how,saidI,didthatcircumstancecometotheking’sknowledge?

ThatiswhatIammostcurioustoascertain.Andthat,answered

he,ispreciselywhatthealguazildidnottell,apparently

becausehedidnotknow.

Atthisepochofourconversation,theservantsbroughtin

supper.Wheneverythingwassetinorder,Tordesillassentaway

theattendants,notwishingourconversationtobeoverheard.He

shutthedoor,andwetookourseatsoppositetoeachother.Let

ussaygrace,andfallto,saidhe.Yourappetiteoughttobe

goodaftertwodaysoffasting.Underthisimpressionheloaded

myplateasifhehadbeencrammingthecrawofastarveling.In

fact,nothingwasmorelikelythanthatIshouldplaythedevil

amongtheragouts;butwhatislikelydoesnotalwayshappen.

Thoughmyintestineswereyearningforsupport,theirstaple

stuckinmythroat,formyheartloathedallpleasurable

indulgenceinthepresentstateofmyaffairs.Invaindidmy

warden,todriveawaythebluedevils,pledgemecontinually,and

expatiateontheexcellenceofhiswine;imperishablenectar

wouldhavebeenprickedaccordingtothefastidiousreportofmy

palate.Thisbeingthecase,hewentanotherwaytowork,and

toldmethestoryofhismarriage,withasmuchhumourassucha

subjectwouldadmit.Herehewasstilllesssuccessful.So

wanderingwasmyattention,thatbeforetheendIhadforgotten

thebeginningandthemiddle.Atlengthhewasconvincedthat

therewasnodivertingmygloomythoughtsforthatevening.After

finishinghissolitarysupper,herosefromtable,saying:Signor

deSantillane,Ishallleaveyoutoyourrepose,orrathertothe

freeindulgenceofyourownreveries.But,takemywordforit,

yourmisfortunewillnotbeoflongcontinuance.Thekingis

naturallygood.Whenhisangershallhavepassedaway,andyour

deplorableestateshalloccurtohismilderthoughts,your

punishmentwillappearsufficientinhiseyes.Withthesewords,

mykindheartedgaolerwentdown-stairs,andsenttheservantsto

takeaway.Noteventhebrasscandlestickswereleftbehind;and

Iwenttobedbythepalpabledarknessofaglimmeringlamp

suspendedagainstthewall.

CH.V.—Hisreflectionsbeforehewenttosleepthatnight,and

thenoisethatwakedhim.

TwohoursatleastweremythoughtsemployedonwhatTordesillas

hadtoldme.Here,then,amI,forhavinglentmyselftothe

pleasuresoftheheir-apparent!Itwascertainlynothavingmy

witsaboutme,topanderforsoyoungaprince.Thereinconsists

mycrime;hadhebeenarrivedatamoreknowingage,theking

perhapsmightonlyhavelaughedatwhathasnowmadehimso

angry.Butwhocanhavegivensuchcounseltothemonarch,

withoutdreadingtheprince’sresentmentortheDukeofLerma’s?

Thatministerwilldoubtlesstakeamplevengeanceforhisnephew

theCountdeLemos.Howcanthekinghavemadethediscovery?

Thatisabovemycomprehension.

Thislastwastheeternalburdenofmysong.Buttheideamost

afflictivetomymind,whatdrovemetodespair,andlaidfiend-likeholduponmyfancy,wastheunquestionedplunderofmy

effects.Mystrongbox,exclaimedI,mydearwealth,whatis

becomeofyou?Intowhathandshaveyoufallen?Alas!youare

lostinlesstimethanyouweregained!Theruinousconfusionof

myhouseholdwastheperpetualdeath’s-headofmyimagination.

Yetthiswildernessofmelancholyideasshelteredmefrom

absolutedistraction:sleep,whichhadshunnedmywretchedstraw,

nowpaidhisreadiervisittomysoftandgentlemanlycouch.

Watchingandwine,too,impartedastrongnarcotictohis

poppies.Myslumberswereprofound;andtoallappearance,the

daymighthavepeepedinuponmyrepose,ifIhadnotbeen

awakenedallatoncebysuchsoundsasrarelyperforateaprison

wall.Iheardthethrumofaguitar,accompanyingaman’svoice.

Mywholeattentionwasabsorbed;buttheinvisiblemusician

paused,andleftthefleetingimpressionofadream.Aninstant

afterwards,myearwassoothedwiththesoundofthesame

instrument,andthesamevoice.

Wiselytheantagainstpoorwinterhoards

Thestockwhichsummer’swealthaffords;

Ingrasshoppers,thatmustatautumndie,

Howvainweresuchanindustry.

Ofloveorfortunethedeceitfullight

Mighthalfexcuseourcheatedsight,

Ifitoflifethewholesmalltimewouldstay,

Andbeoursunshinealltheday.

[Tohavesubstituted,withaslightvariation,thesetwostanzas

fromCowleyforatranslationofthecommonplacecoupletinthe

original,willprobablynotbethoughttorequireanyapology.

Theynecessarilyinvolveachangeintheconsequentreflections

ofourhero.TRANSLATOR]

Theseverses,whichsoundedasiftheyhadbeensungexpressly

forthedirgeofmydepartedhappiness,wereonlyanaggravation

ofmyfeelings.Thetruthofthesentiment,saidI,isbuttoo

wellexemplifiedinme.Themeteorofcourtfavourhasbut

plungedmeinsubstantialdarkness;thesummersunshineof

ambitionisquenchedintheseautumnalglooms.NowdidIsink

againintocoldandcomfortlessmeditation;mymiseriesbeganto

flowafresh,asiftheyfedandgrewupontheirownvitalstream.

Yetmywailingsendedwiththenight;andthefirstrayswhich

playeduponmychamberwallamusedmymindintocomposure.Igot

uptoopenmywindow,andletthevividairofmorningintomy

room.ThenIglancedoverthecountry,soattractivelydepicted

inthedescriptionofmykeeper.Itdidnotseemtojustifyhis

panegyric.TheEr�ma,asecondTagusinmymagnifyingfancy,was

littlebetterthanabrook.Itsflowerybankswerefringedwith

nettles,andarrayedinallthemajestyofthistles;the

deliciousvaleinthisfairyprospectwasabarrenwilderness,

untamedbyhumanlabour.Itthereforewasveryevidentthatmy

keenersensationswerenotyetsoftenedintosuchacomposed

melancholy,ascouldgiveanybutajaundicedcolouringtothe

landscape.

Ibegandressing,andhadalreadyhalffinishedmytoilet,when

Tordesillasusheredinanoldchambermaid,ladenwithshirtsand

towels.SignorGilBlas,saidhe,hereisyourlinen.Donotbe

savingofit;thereshallalwaysbeasmanychangesasyoucan

possiblywant.Wellnow!andhowhaveyoupassedthenight?Has

thedrowsygodadministeredhisanodyne?Icouldhaveslepttill

thistime,answeredI,ifIhadnotbeenawakenedbyavoice

singingtoaguitar.Thecavalierwhohasdisturbedyourrepose,

resumedhe,isastateprisoner;andhischamberiscontiguousto

yours.HeisaknightofthemilitaryorderofCalatrava,andis

averyaccomplishedperson.HisnameisDonGastondeCogollos.

Youmaymeetasoftenasyoulike,andtakeyourmealstogether.

Itwillaffordreciprocalconsolationtocompareyourfortunes.

Therecanbenodoubtofyourbeingagreeabletooneanother.I

assuredDonAndrewhowsensibleIwasofhisindulgencein

allowingmetoblendmysorrowswiththoseofmyfellow-sufferer;

and,asIbetrayedsomeimpatiencetobeacquaintedwithhim,our

accommodatingwardenmetmywishesontheverysameday.Hefixed

metodinewithDonGaston,whoseprepossessingphysiognomyand

symmetryoffeaturestruckmesensibly.Judgewhatitmusthave

been,tomakesostronganimpressiononeyesaccustomedto

encounterthedazzlingexteriorofthecourt.Figuretoyourself

amanfashionedinthemouldofpleasure;oneofthoseheroesin

romance,whohasonlytoshewhisface,andbanishthesweet

sleepfromtheeyelidsofprincesses.Addtothis,thatnature,

whoisgenerallybountifulwithonehandandniggardlywiththe

other,hadcrownedtheperfectionsofCogolloswithwitand

valour.Hewasaman,whoselike,takehimforallinall,we

mightnotsoonlookuponagain.

Ifthisfinefellowwasmightilytomytaste,itwasmygoodluck

nottobealtogetheroffensivetohim.Henolongersangatnight

forfearofannoyingme,thoughIbeggedhimbynomeansto

restrainhisinclinationsonmyaccount.Abondofunionissoon

formedbetweenbrethreninmisfortune.Aclosefriendship

succeededtomereacquaintance,andstrengthenedfromdaytoday.

Thelibertyofuninterruptedintercoursecontributedgreatlyto

ourmutualsupport;ourburdenbecamelighterbydivision.

OnedayafterdinnerIwentintohisroom,justashewastuning

hisguitar.Tohearhimmoreatmyease,Isatdownontheonly

stool;whilehe,recliningonhisbed,playedapatheticair,and

sangtoitaditty,expressingthedespairofaloverandthe

crueltyofhismistress.Whenhehadfinished,Isaidtohimwith

asmile,Sirknight,suchstrainsasthesecouldneverbe

applicabletoyourownsuccesseswiththefair.Youwerenotmade

tocopewithfemalerepulse.Youthinktoowellofme,answered

he.Theversesyouhavejustheardwerecomposedtofitmyown

case;tosoftenaheartofadamant.Youmusthearmystory,and

inmystory,mydistresses.

CH.VI—HistoryofDonGastondeCogollosandDonnaHelenade

Galisteo.

ITwillbeverysoonfouryearssinceIleftMadridtogoandsee

myauntDonnaEleonoradeLaxarillaatCoria:sheisoneofthe

richestdowagersinOldCastile,withmyselfforheronlyheir.

ScarcelyhadIgotwithinherdoors,whenloveinvadedmyrepose.

Thewindowsofmyroomfacedthelatticeofaladyliving

opposite:butthestreetwasnarrow,andherblindsperviousto

theeye.Itwasanopportunitytoodelicioustobelost;andI

foundmyneighboursolovelythatmyheartwascaptivated.The

subjectofmysentry-watchcouldnotbemistaken.Shemarkedit

well;butshewasnotagirltogloryinthedetection,still

lesstoencouragemyfooleries.

Itwasnaturaltoinquirethenameofthismightyconqueror.I

learntittobeDonnaHelena,onlydaughterofDonGeorgede

Galisteo,lordofalargedomainnearCoria.Shehadinnumerable

offersofmarriage;butherfatherrepulsedthemall,becausehe

meanttobestowherhandonhisnephew,DonAustindeOlighera,

whohaduninterruptedaccesstohiscousinwhilethesettlements

werepreparing.Thiswasnobartomyhopes:onthecontrary,it

whettedmyeagerness:andtheinsolentpleasureofsupplantinga

favouredrivalwas,perhaps,atbottomequallymymotivewitha

morenoblepassion.Myvisualartillerywasobstinatelyplanted

againstmyunyieldingfair.HerattendantFeliciawasnotwithout

theincenseofaglance,tosoftenherrigidconstancyinmy

favour;whilenodsandbecksstoodforthecurrentcoinof

language.Butalltheseeffortsofgallantrywereinvain—the

maidwasimpregnablelikehermistress—neverwastheresucha

pairofcoldandcruelones.

Thecommerceoftheeyesbeingsounthrifty,Ihadrecourseto

differentagents.Myscoutswereonthewatchtohuntoutwhat

acquaintanceFeliciamighthaveintown.Theydiscoveredanold

lady,bynameTheodora,tobehermostintimatefriend,andthat

theyoftenmet.Delightedattheintelligence,Iwentpointblank

toTheodora,andengagedherbypresentsinmyinterest.Shetook

mycauseupheartily,promisedtocontriveaninterviewforme

withherfriend,andkeptherengagementtheverynextday.

Iamnolongerthewretchofyesterday,saidItoFelicia,since

mysufferingshavemeltedyoutopity.Howdeepismydebtto

yourfriendforherkindinterferenceinmybehalf.Sir,answered

she,Theodoracandowhatshepleaseswithme.Shehasbroughtme

overtoyoursideofthequestion;andifIcandoyoua

kindness,youshallsoonbeatthesummitofyourwishes;but,

withallmypartialityinyourfavour,Iknownothowfarmy

effortsmaybesuccessful.Itwouldbecrueltomisleadyou:the

prizewillnotbegainedwithoutasevereconflict.Theobjectof

yourpassionisbetrothedtoanothergentleman,andhercharacter

mostinauspicioustoyourdesigns.Suchisherpride,andso

closelylockedarehersecretswithinherownbreast,thatif,by

constancyandassiduities,youcouldextortfromherafewsighs,

fancynotthatherhaughtyspiritwouldindulgeyourearswith

theirmusic.Ah!mydearFelicia,exclaimedIinanagony,why

willyouthusmagnifytheobstaclesinmyway?Tosetthemin

arraywillkillme.Leadmeonwithfalsehopes,ifyouwill;but

donotdrivemetodespair.WiththesewordsItookoneofher

hands,presseditbetweenmine,andslidadiamondonherfinger

valuethreehundredpistoles,withsuchamovingcomplimentas

madeherweepagain.

Suchspeechesandcorrespondingactionsdeservedsomescanty

comfort.Shesmoothedalittletheruggedpathoflove.Sir,said

she,whatIhavejustbeentellingyouneednotquitequenchyour

hope.Yourrival,itistrue,isinpossessionoftheground.He

comesbackandforeashepleases,hetoyswithherasoftenas

helikes,butallthatisinyourfavour.Thehabitofconstant

intercourseshedsalanguorovertheirmeetings.Theypart

withoutpain,andcometogetherwithoutemotion.Onewouldtake

themformanandwife.Inaword,mymistresshasnomarksof

violentloveforDonAustin.Besides,inpointofperson,there

issuchadifferencebetweenyouandhimascannotfailtocatch

theeyeofaniceobserverlikeDonnaHelena.Thereforedonotbe

castdown.Continueyourparticularattentions.Youshallhavea

secondinme.Ishallletnoopportunityescapeofpointingout

tomymistressthemeritofallyourexertionstopleaseher.In

vainshallsheintrenchherselfbehindreserve.Inspiteofguard

andgarrison,Iwillransackthemuster-rollofhersentiments.

Nowweremyopenattacksandsecretambuscadesmorefiercely

pointedagainstthedaughterofDonGeorge.Amongtherest,I

entertainedherwithaserenade.AftertheconcertFelicia,to

soundhermistress,beggedtoknowhowshehadbeenentertained.

Thesingerhadagoodvoice,saidDonnaHelena.Buthowdidyou

likethewords?repliedtheabigail.Iscarcelynotedthem,

returnedthelady;themusicengrossedmywholeattention.The

poetryexcitedaslittlecuriosityasitsauthor.Ifthatisthe

case,exclaimedthechambermaid,poorDonGastondoCogollosis

reckoningwithouthishost;andamiserablespendthriftofhis

glances,tobealwaysoglingatourlattice-work.Perhapsitmay

notbehe,saidthemistresswithpetrifyingindifference,but

someotherspark,announcinghispassionbythisconcert.Excuse

me,answeredFelicia,itisDonGastonhimselfwhoaccostedme

thismorninginthestreet,andimploredmetoassureyouhowhe

adored,indefianceofyourrigorousrepulses:butthatheshould

esteemhimselfthemostblestofmortals,ifyouwouldallowhim

tosoothehisdespondingthoughtsbyallthemostdelicateand

impassionedattentions.JudgenowifIcanbemistaken,afterso

openanavowal.

DonGeorge’sdaughterchangedcountenanceatonce,andsaidto

herservantwithaseverefrown,Youmightwellhavedispensed

withtherelationofthisimpertinentdiscourse.Bringmenomore

suchidletales;andtellthisyoungmadman,whennextheaccosts

you,toplayoffhisshallowartificesonsomemoreaccommodating

fool;but,atallevents,lethimchooseamoregentlemanly

recreationthanthatofloungingalldayathiswindow,and

pryingintotheprivacyofmyapartment.

Thismessagewasfaithfullydeliveredatmynextinterviewwith

Felicia,whoassuredmethathermistress’smodesofspeechwere

nottobetakenintheirliteralconstruction,butthatmy

affairswereinthebestpossibletrain.Formypart,being

littlereadinthescienceofcoquetry,andfindingnofavourable

senseonthefaceoftheauthor’soriginalwords,Iwashalfout

ofhumourwiththewire-drawncommentsofthecritic.Shelaughed

atmymisgiving,andaskedherfriendforpen,ink,andpaper,

saying:Sirknightofthedolefulcountenance,writeimmediately

toDonnaHelenaasdolefullyasyoulook.Makeechoringwith

yoursufferings;outsightheriver’smurmur;and,aboveall,let

rocksandwoodsresoundwiththeprohibitionofappearingatyour

window.Thenpawnyourexistenceonobeyingher,thoughwithout

thepossibilityevertoredeemthepledge.Turnallthatnonsense

intoprettysentences,asyougaydeceiverssowellknowhowto

do,andleavetheresttome.Theevent,Iflattermyselfwill

redoundmorethanyouareawaretothehonourofmypenetration.

Hemusthavebeenastrangeloverwhowouldnothaveprofitedby

soopportuneanoccasionofwritingtohismistress.Myletter

wascouchedinthemostpatheticterms.Feliciasmiledatits

contents;andsaid,thatifthewomenknewtheartofinfatuating

men,themeninreturnhadborrowedtheirinfluenceoverwomen

fromthearchwheedlerhimself.Myprivycounsellortookthe

note,andwentbacktoDonGeorge’s,withaspecialinjunction

thatmywindowsshouldbefastshutforsomedays.

Madam,saidshe,goinguptoDonnaHelena,ImetDonGaston.He

mustneedsendeavourtocomeroundmewithhisflattering

speeches.Intremulousaccents,likeaculpritpleadingagainst

hissentence,hebeggedtoknowwhetherIhadspokentoyouon

hisbehalf.Then,inpromptandfaithfulcompliancewithyour

orders,Isnappedupthewordsoutofhismouth.Tobesure,my

tonguedidrunatafinerateagainsthim.Icalledhimall

mannerofnames,andlefthiminthestreetlikeastock,staring

atmytermagantloquacity.Iamdelighted,answeredDonnaHelena,

thatyouhavedisengagedmefromthattroublesomeperson.But

therewasnooccasiontohavesnubbedhimsounmercifully.A

creatureofyourdegreeshouldalwayskeepagoodtongueinits

mouth.Madam,repliedthedomestic,onecannotgetridofa

determinedloverbymincingone’swords,thoughitcomestomuch

thesamethingwhenonefliesintoapassion.DonGaston,for

instance,wasnottobebulliedoutofhissenses.Afterhaving

givenithimonbothsidesofhisears,asItoldyou,Iwenton

thaterrandofyourstothehouseofyourrelation.Thelady,as

ill-luckwouldhaveit,keptmelongerthansheought.Isay

longerthansheought,becausemyplagueandtormentmetmeonmy

return.Whothedeucewouldhavethoughtofseeinghim?Itputme

allinatwitter;butthenmytongue,whichatothertimesisapt

tobeinatwitter,stuckmotionlessinmymouth.Whilemytongue

stuckmotionlessinmymouth,whatdidhedo?Heslidapaper

intomyhandwithoutgivingmetimetoconsiderwhetherIshould

takeitorno,andmadeoffinamoment.

Afterthisintroduction,shedrewmyletterfromunderherstays,

andgaveitwithhalfabantertohermistress,whoaffectedto

readitinhumorousscorn,butdigestedthecontentsmost

greedily,andthenputonthestarch,offendedprude.Ingood

earnest,Felicia,saidshewithallthegravityshecouldassume,

youwereextremelyoffyourguard,quitebewilderedand

fascinated,tohavetakenthechargeofsuchanepistle.What

constructionwouldDonGastonputuponit?WhatmustIthinkof

itmyself?Yougivemereason,bythisstrangebehaviour,to

mistrustyourfidelity,whilehemustsuspectmeofencouraging

hisodioussuit.Alas!hemay,perhaps,laythatflattering

unctiontohissoul,thatmyloveislegibleinthesecharacters,

andnothistrespass.Onlyconsiderhowyoulaymytowering

pride.Oh!quitethereverse,madam,answeredthepetticoated

pleader;itisimpossibleforhimtothinkthat;andifhedid,

hewouldsoonbeconvincedwithafleainhisear.Ishalltell

him,whennextwemeet,thatIhavedeliveredhisletter,that

youglancedatthesuperscriptionwithpetrifyingindifference,

andthen,withoutreadingaword,toreitintotenthousand

pieces.YoumayswearthatIdidnotreaditwithasafe

conscience,repliedDonnaHelena.Ishouldbepuzzledtoretrace

asinglesentiment.DonGeorge’sdaughter,notcontentedwith

thesewords,suitedtheactiontothem,toremyletter,and

imposedsilenceonmyadvocate.

AsIhadpromisednolongertoplaytheloveratmywindow,the

farceofobediencewaskeptupforseveraldays.Oglingbeing

interdicted,mycourtshipwasdoomedtoenterinatmyHelena’s

obdurateears.OnenightIattendedunderherbalconywith

musicians;thefirstbarsoftheserenadewerealreadyplaying,

whenaswaggeringblade,swordinhand,rushedinuponour

harmony,layingabouthimtotherightandleft,totheutter

discomfitureofthetroop.Suchmadwarfarefiredmytilting

propensitiestoequalfury.Theaffraybecameserious.Donna

Helenaandhermaidweredisturbedbytheclashofswords.They

lookedoutattheirlattice,andsawtwomenengaged.Theircries

rousedDonGeorgeandhisservants.Thewholeneighbourhoodwas

assembledtopartthecombatants.Buttheycametoolate:onthe

fieldofbattle,bathedinhisownbloodandalmostlifeless,lay

myunfortunatebody.Theycarriedmetomyaunt’s,andsentfor

thebestsurgicalassistanceintheplace.

Alltheworldwasmerciful,andwishedmewell,especiallyDonna

Helena,whoseheartwasnowunmasked.Herforcedseverityyielded

tohernaturalfeelings.Wouldyoubelieveit?Thecold,

relentless,insensible,waskindledintothewarmestoflove’s

votaries.Sheworeouttheremainderofthenightinweepingwith

herfaithfulconfidante,andgivinghercousin,DonAustinde

Olighera,toperdition:forhimtheytaxedwiththeplotted

massacre,andthebillwasatrueone.Hecouldhidehisheartas

wellashiscousin;hethereforewatchedmymotions,without

seemingtosuspectthem;andfancyingthemnottobewithouta

correspondingimpulse,heresolvednottobesacrificedwith

impunity.Theaccidentwasanawkwardonetome,butitendedin

overpoweringrapture.Dangerousasmywoundwas,thesurgeons

soonbroughtmeabout.Iwasstillconfinedtomychamber,when

myaunt,DonnaEleonora,wentovertoDonGeorge,andmade

proposalsforDonnaHelena.Heconsentedthemorereadilytothe

marriage,asheneverexpectedtoseeDonAustinagain.Thegood

oldmanwasafraidofhisdaughter’snotlikingme,because

cousinOligherahadkepthercompany;butshewassotractableto

theparentalbehest,astofurnishgroundsforbelievingthatin

Spain,asinothercountries,thespecies,nottheindividual,is

theobjectwiththesex.

Felicia,atourfirstprivatemeeting,communicatedtheemotions

ofhermistressonmymisfortune.Now,likeanotherParis,I

thoughtTroywelllostformyHelen,andblessedthehappy

consequencesofmywound.DonGeorgeallowedmetospeakwithhis

daughterinpresenceofherattendant.Whataheavenlyinterview!

Ibeggedandprayedtheladysoearnestlytotellmewhetherher

sufferanceofmyvowswasforceduponherbyherfather,thatshe

atlengthconfessedherobediencetobeinunisonwithher

inclinations.Aftersodeliciousadeclaration,mywholesoulwas

givenuptoloveandpleasurablegratifications.Ournuptials

weretobegracedbyamagnificentprocessionofallthe

principalpeopleinCoriaandtheneighbourhood.

Igaveasplendidpartyatmyaunt’scountry-house,inthe

suburbsonthesideofManroi.DonGeorge,hisdaughter,the

family,andfriendsonbothsideswerepresent.Therewasa

concertofvocalandinstrumentalmusic,withacompanyof

strollingplayers,torepresentacomedy.Inthemiddleofthe

festivities,someonewhisperedmethatamanwantedtospeak

withmeinthehall.Igotupfromtabletogoandseewhoit

was.Thestrangerlookedlikeagentleman’sservant.Heputa

letterintomyhand,containingthesewords:

“Ifyouhaveanysenseofhonour,asaknightofyourorderought

tohave,youwillnotfailtoattendto-morrowmorninginthe

plainofManroi.Thereyouwillfindanantagonist,readytogive

youyourrevengeforhisformerattackuponyourperson,or,what

heratherhopesandmeditates,tospoilyourconnubialtransports

withDonnaHelena.

“DONAUSTINDEOLIGHERA.”

IfloveisaSpanishpassion,revengeistheSpanishlunacy.Such

anoteasthiswasnottobereadwithcomposure.Atthemere

subscriptionofDonAustin,therekindledinmyveinsafire,

whichalmostmademeforgettheclaimsofhospitality.Iwas

temptedtostealawayfrommycompany,andseekmyantagoniston

theinstant.Forfearofdisturbingthemerriment,however,I

bridledinmyrage,andsaidtothemessenger:Myfriend,youmay

tellyouremployerthatIshallmeethimontheappointedspotat

sunrise,andresumethecontestwithobstinacyequaltohisown.

Aftersendingthisanswer,Iresumedmyseatattablewithso

composedamien,thatnocreaturehadtheleastsuspicionofwhat

hadoccurred.Duringtherestoftheday,Igavemyselfuptothe

pleasuresofthefestival,whichendednottillmidnight.The

gueststhenreturnedtotown,butIstaidbehind,underpretext

oftakingtheaironthefollowingmorning.Insteadofgoingto

bed,Iwatchedforthedawnwithmaddeningimpatience.Withthe

firstrayIgotonhorseback,androdealonetowardsManroi.On

theplainwasahorseman,ridinguptomeatfullspeed.Ipushed

forward,andwemethalfway.Itwasmyrival.Knight,saidhe,

superciliously,itisagainstmywillthatImeetyouasecond

timeonthesameoccasion,butyouhavebroughtyourfateon

yourself.Aftertheadventureoftheserenade,yououghttohave

waivedyourpretensionstoDonGeorge’sdaughter,oratleastto

havebeenassuredthatthesupportofthemmustcostyoudearer

thanasingleencounter.Youaretoomuchelated,answeredI,

withanadvantagewhichislessowing,perhaps,toyoursuperior

skill,thantothedarknessofthenight.Remember,thatvictory

isofthesameblindfamilywithfortune.Itshallbemylotto

teachyou,repliedhewithinsultingscorn,thatIhaveunsealed

theeyesofboth.

Atthisprouddefiance,webothdismounted,tiedourhorsestoa

tree,andengagedwithequalfury.Imustcandidlyacknowledge

theprowessofmyantagonist,whowasaconsummatemasterof

fencing.Mylifewasexposedtothegreatestpossibledanger.

Nevertheless,asthestrongisoftenvanquishedbytheweak,my

rival,inspiteofallhisscience,receivedathrustthroughthe

heart,andfellalifelesscorpse.

Iimmediatelyreturned,andtoldaconfidentialservantwhathad

happened,requestinghimtotakehorseandacquaintmyaunt,

beforetheofficersofjusticecouldgetintelligenceofthe

event.Hewasalsotoobtainfromherasupplyofmoneyand

jewels,andthenjoinmeatthefirstinnasyouenterPlazencia.

Allthiswasperformedwithinthreehours.DonnaEleonorarather

triumphedthanmournedoveracatastrophe,whichrestoredmy

injuredhonour;andsentmelargeremittancesformytravels

abroad,tilltheaffairhadblownover.

Nottodwellonindifferentcircumstances,sufficeittosay,

thatIembarkedforItaly,andequippedmyselfsoastomakea

respectablefigureattheseveralcourts.

WhileIwasendeavouringtobeguilethewearyhoursofabsence,

Helenawasweepingathomefromthesamecause.Insteadof

joininginthefamilyresentment,herheartwaspantingfora

compromise,andformyspeedyreturn.Sixmonthshadalready

elapsed,andIfirmlybelievethatherconstancywouldhavebeen

proofagainstthetrackoftime,hadtimebeensecondedbyno

morepowerfulally.DonBlasdeCombados,agentlemanfromthe

westerncoastofGalicia,cametoCoria,totakepossessionofa

richinheritanceunsuccessfullycontestedbyanearrelation.He

likedthatcountrysomuchbetterthanhisown,thathemadeit

hisprincipalresidence.Combadoswasapersonableman.His

mannersweregentleandwell-bred,hisconversationmost

insinuating.Withsuchapassport,hesoongotintothebest

company,andknewallthefamilyconcernsoftheplace.

ItwasnotlongbeforeheheardofDonGeorge’sdaughter,andof

herextraordinarybeauty.Thistouchedhiscuriositynearly;he

waseagertobeholdsoformidablealady.Forthispurpose,he

endeavouredtowormhimselfintothegoodgracesofherfather,

andsucceededsowell,thattheoldgentleman,alreadylookingon

himasason-in-law,gavehimfreeadmissiontothehouse,and

thelibertyofconversingwithDonnaHelenainhispresence.The

Galiciansoonbecamedeeplyenamouredofher:indeed,itwasthe

commonfateofallwhohadeverbeheldhercharms.Heopenedhis

hearttoDonGeorge,whoconsentedtohispayinghisaddresses,

buttoldhimthatsofarfromofferingviolencetoher

inclination,heshouldneverinterfereinherchoice.Hereupon

DonBlaspressedeverydevicethatimpassionedingenuitycould

suggestintohisservice,tomeltandwarmtheiciclesof

reserve;buttheladywasimpenetrabletohisarts,fastboundin

thefettersofanearlierlove.Felicia,however,wasinthenew

suitor’sinterest,convincedofhismeritbytheuniversal

argument.Allthefacultiesofhersoulwerecalledforthinhis

cause.Ontheotherhand,thefatherurgedhiswishesand

entreaties.ThuswasDonnaHelenatormentedforawholeyearwith

theirimportunities,andyetherfaithcontinuedunshaken.

CombadosfindingthatDonGeorgeandFeliciatookuphiscause

withverylittlesuccess,proposedanexpedientforconquering

prejudicetothefollowingeffect.Wewillsupposeamerchantof

CoriatohavereceivedaletterfromhisItaliancorrespondent,

inwhich,amongthenewsoftheday,thereshallbethefollowing

paragraph:“ASpanishgentleman,DonGastondeCogollos,has

latelyarrivedatthecourtofParma.Heissaidtohenephewand

soleheirtoarichwidowofCoria.Heispayinghisaddressesto

anobleman’sdaughter;butthefamilywishestoascertainthe

validityofhispretensions.Sendmeword,therefore,whetheryou

knowthisDonGaston,togetherwiththeamountofhisaunt’s

fortune.Onyouranswerthemarriagewilldepend.Parma,dayof,

&c.”

Theoldgentlemanconsideredthistrickasamereebullitionof

humour,alawfulstratagemofamorouswarfare;andthejadeofa

go-between,withconsciencestillmorecallousthanhermaster’s,

wasdelightedwiththeprobabilityofthemanoeuvre.Itseemedto

besomuchthemorehappilyimagined,astheyknewHelenatobea

proudgirl,capableoftakingdecisivemeasures,inthemomentof

surpriseandindignation.DonGeorgeundertooktobetheherald

ofmyfickleness,andbywayofcolouringthecontrivancemore

naturally,toconfrontthepretendedcorrespondentwithher.This

projectwasexecutedassoonasformed.Thefather,with

counterfeitemotionsofdispleasure,saidtoDonnaHelena:

Daughter,itisnotenoughnowtotellyouthatourrelations

inveighagainstanalliancewithDonAustin’smurderer;astill

strongerreasonhenceforwardpresses,todetachyoufromDon

Gaston.Itmaywelloverwhelmyouwithshame,tohavebeenhis

dupesolong.Hereisanundeniableproofofhisinconstancy.

OnlyreadthisletterjustreceivedbyamerchantofCoriafrom

Italy.ThetremblingHelenacaughtatthisforgedpaper;glanced

overthewriting;thenweighedeveryexpression,andstoodaghast

attheimportofthewhole.Akeenpangofdisappointmentwrung

fromherafewreluctanttears;butpridecametoherassistance;

shewipedawaythefallingdropsofweakness,andsaidtoher

fatherinadeterminedtone:Sir,youhavejustbeenwitnessof

myfolly;nowbeartestimonytomytriumphovermyself.The

delusionispast;DonGastonistheobjectofmyuttercontempt.

IamreadytomeetDonBlasatthealtar,andbebeforehandwith

thetraitorinthepledgeofourtransferredaffections.Don

George,transportedwithjoyatthischange,embracedhis

daughter,extolledherspirittotheskies,andhastenedthe

necessarypreparations,withalltheself-complacencyofa

successfulplotter.

ThuswasDonnaHelenasnatchedfromme.Shethrewherselfinto

thearmsofCombadosinapet,notlisteningtothesecret

whispersoflovewithinherbreast,norsuspectingastorywhich

oughttohaveseemedsoimprobableintheannalsoftruepassion.

Thehaughtyarealwaysthevictimsoftheirownrashconclusions.

Resentmentofinsultedbeautytriumphedwhollyoverthe

suggestionsoftenderness.Andyet,afewdaysaftermarriage,

therecameoverhersomefeelingsofremorseforher

precipitation;itstruckherthatthelettermighthavebeena

forgery;andtheverypossibilitydisturbedherpeace.Butthe

enamouredDonBlaslefthiswifenotimetonurseupthoughts

injuriousto

theirnew-foundjoys;asuccessionofgaietyandpleasurekept

herinathoughtlesswhirl,andshieldedherfromthepangsof

unavailingrepentance.

Sheappearedtobeinhighgoodhumourwithsospirit-stirringa

husband;sothattheywerelivingtogetherinperfectunanimity,

whenmyauntadjustedmyaffairwithDonAustin’srelations.Of

thisshewrotemewordtoItaly.Ireturnedonthewingsoflove.

DonnaEleonora,nothavingannouncedthemarriage,informedmeof

itonmyarrival;andremarkingwhatpainitgaveme,said:You

areinthewrong,nephew,toshewsomuchfeelingforafaithless

fair.Banishfromyourmemoryapersonsounworthytosharein

itstenderrecollections.

AsmyauntdidnotknowhowDonnaHelenahadbeenplayedupon,

shehadreasontotalkasshedid:norcouldshehavegivenme

betteradvice.Toaffectindifference,ifnottoconquermy

passion,wasmyboundenduty.Yettherecouldbenoharminjust

inquiringbywhatmeansthisunionhadbeenbroughttobear.To

getatthetruth,IdeterminedonapplyingtoFelicia’sfriend

Theodora.ThereImetwithFeliciaherself,whowasconfoundedat

myunwelcomepresence,andwouldhaveescapedfromthenecessity

ofexplanation.ButIstoppedher.Whydoyouavoidme?saidI.

Hasyourperjuredmistressforbiddenyoutogiveeartomy

complaints?orwouldyoumakeameritwiththeungratefulwoman,

ofyourvoluntaryrefusal?

Sir,answeredtheplottingabigail,Iconfessmyfault,andthrow

myselfonyourmercy.Yourappearanceherehasfilledmewith

remorse.Mymistresshasbeenbetrayed,andunhappilyinpartby

myagency.Theparticularsoftheirinfernaldevicefollowedthis

avowal,withanendeavourtomakemeamendsforitslamentable

consequence.Tothiseffect,sheofferedmeherserviceswithher

mistress,andpromisedtoundeceiveher;inaword,toworknight

andday,thatshemightsoftentherigourofmysufferings,and

openthecareerofhope.

Ipassoverthenumberlesscontradictionssheexperienced,before

shecouldaccomplishtheprojectedinterview.Itwasatlength

arrangedtoadmitmeprivately,whileDonBlaswasathis

hunting-seat.Theplotdidnotlinger.Thehusbandwentintothe

country,andtheysentformetohislady’sapartment.

Myonsetwasreproachfulintheextreme,butmymouthwasshut

uponthesubject.Itisuselesstolookbackuponthepast,said

thelady.Itcanbenopartofourpresentintentiontoworkupon

eachother’sfeelings;andyouaregrievouslymistaken,ifyou

fancymeinclinedtoflatteryouraspiringhopes.Mysole

inducementforreceivingyouherewastotellyoupersonally,

thatyouhaveonlyhenceforthtoforgetme.PerhapsImighthave

beenbettersatisfiedwithmylot,haditbeenunitedwithyours;

butsinceheavenhasordereditotherwise,wemustsubmittoits

decrees.

What!madam,answeredI,isitnotenoughtohavelostyou,to

seemysuccessfulrivalinquietpossessionofallmysoulholds

dear,butImustalsobanishyoufrommythoughts?Youwouldtear

frommeevenmypassion,myonlyremainingblessing!Andthink

youthataman,whomyouhaveonceenchanted,canrecoverhis

self-possession?Knowyourselfbetter,andceasetoenforce

impracticablebehests.Wellthen!ifso,rejoinedshewith

hurriedimportunity,doyouceasetoflatteryourselfwith

interestingmygratitudeormypity.Inoneshortword,thewife

ofDonBlasshallneverbethemistressofDonGaston.Letusat

onceendaconversationatwhichdelicacyrevoltsmspiteof

virtue,andperemptorilyforbidsitslongercontinuance.

Inowthrewmyselfatthelady’sfeetindespair.Allthepowers

oflanguageandoftearswerecalledforthtosoftenher.But

eventhisservedonlytoexcitesomeinbredsentimentsof

compassion,stifledassoonasborn,andsacrificedattheshrine

ofduty.Afterhavingfruitlesslyexhaustedallmystoresof

tenderpersuasion,ragetookpossessionofmybreast.Idrewmy

sword,andwouldhavefallenonitspointbeforetheinexorable

Helena,butshesawmydesignandpreventedit.Stayyourrash

hand,Cogollos,saidshe.Isitthusthatyouconsultmy

reputation?Indyingthusandhere,youwillbrandmewith

dishonour,andmyhusbandwiththeimputationofmurder.

Intheagonyofmydespair,farfromyieldingtothese

suggestions,Ionlystruggledagainstthepreventiveeffortsof

thetwowomen,andshouldhavestruggledtoosuccessfully,ifDon

Blashadnotappearedtosecondthem.Hehadbeenapprizedofour

assignation;andinsteadofgoingintothecountry,hadconcealed

himselfbehindthehangings,tooverhearourconference.Don

Gaston,criedhe,ashearrestedmyupliftedarm,recallyour

scatteredsenses,andnolongergivealoosetothesemad

transports.

HereIcouldholdnolonger.Isitforyou,saidI,toturnme

frommyresolution?Yououghtratheryourselftoplungeadagger

inmybosom.Mylove,withallitstrainofmiseries,isan

insulttoyou.Haveyounotsurprisedmeinyourwife’sapartment

atthisunseasonablehour?whatgreaterprovocationcanyouwant

foryourrevenge?Stabme,andridyourselfofaman,whocan

onlygiveuptheadorationofDonnaHelenawithhislife.Itis

invain,answeredDonBlas,thatyouendeavourtointerestmy

honourinyourdestruction.Youaresufficientlypunishedfor

yourrashness;andmywife’simprudence,ingivingyouthis

opportunityofindulgingit,issanctifiedbythepurityofher

sentiments.Takemyadvice,Cogollos:shrinknoteffeminately

fromyourwaywarddestiny,butbearupagainstitwiththe

patientcourageofahero.

TheprudentGalician,bysuchlanguage,graduallycomposedthe

fermentofmymind,andwakedmeoncemoretovirtue.Iwithdrew

inthedeterminationofremovingfarfromthesceneofmyfolly,

andwentforMadrid,twodaysafterwards.There,pursuingthe

careeroffortuneandpreferment,Iappearedatcourt,andlaid

myselfoutforconnections.Butitwasmyilllucktoattach

myselfparticularlytotheMarquisofVillareal,aPortuguese

grandee,who,lyingunderasuspicionofintendingtoemancipate

hiscountryfromtheSpanishyoke,isnowinthecastleof

Alicant.AstheDukeofLermaknewmetobecloselyconnected

withthisnobleman,hegaveordersformyarrestanddetention

here.Thatministerthoughtmecapableofengaginginsucha

project—hecouldnothaveofferedamoreoutrageousaffrontto

amanofnoblebirthandaCastilian.

DonGastonthusendedhisstory.BywayofconsolationIsaidto

him,Illustrioussir,yourhonourcanreceivenotaintfromthis

temporarydetainer,andyourinterestwillprobablybepromoted

byitintheend.WhentheDukeofLermashallbeconvincedof

yourinnocence,hewillnotfailtogiveyouaconsiderablepost,

andthusretrievethecharacterofagentlemanunjustlyaccused

oftreason.

CH.VII.—ScipiofindsGilBlasoutinthetowerofSegovia,

andbringshimabudgetofnews.

OURconversationwasinterruptedbyTordesillas,whocameinto

theroom,andaddressedmethus:SignorGilBlas,Ihavejust

beenspeakingwithayoungmanattheprisongate.Heinquiredif

youwerenothere,andlookedmuchmortifiedatmyrefusalto

satisfyhiscuriosity.Noblegovernor,saidhe,withtearsinhis

eyes,donotrejectmymosthumblepetition.IamSignorde

Santillane’sprincipaldomestic,andyouwilldoanactof

charitybyallowingmetoseehim.Youpassforakind-hearted

gentlemaninSegovia;Ihopeyouwillnotdenymethefavourof

conversingforafewminuteswithmydearmaster,whois

unfortunateratherthancriminal.Inshort,continuedDonAndrew,

theladwassoimportunate,thatIpromisedtocomplywithhis

wishesthisevening.

IassuredTordesillasthathecouldnothavepleasedmebetter

thanbybringingthisyoungmantome,whocouldprobably

communicatetidingsofthelastimportance.Iwaitedwith

impatiencefortheentranceofmyfaithfulScipio;sinceIcould

notdoubthimtobetheman,norwasImistakeninmyconjecture.

Hewasintroducedatthetimeappointed;andhisjoy,whichonly

minecouldequal,brokeforthintothemostwhimsical

demonstrations.Onmyside,intheecstasyofdelight,I

stretchedoutmyarmstohim,andherushedintothemwithno

courtlymeasuredembrace.Alldistinctionsofmasterand

dependentwerelevelledinthesympatheticraptureofour

meeting.

Whenourtransportshadsubsidedalittle,Iinquiredintothe

stateofmyhousehold.Youhaveneitherhouseholdnorhouse,

answeredhe:tospareyoualongstringofquestions,Iwillsum

upyourworldlyconcernsintwowords.Yourpropertyhasbeen

pillagedatbothends,bothbythebandittiofthelawandby

yourownretainers,who,regardingyouasaruinedman,paid

themselvestheirownwagesoutofwhatevertheyfoundthatwas

portable.Luckilyforyou,Ihadthedexteritytosavefromtheir

harpyclutchestwolargebagsofdoublepistoles.Salero,in

whosecustodyIdepositedthem,willmakerestitutiononyour

release,whichcannotbefardistant,asyouwereputuponhis

majesty’spensionlistofprisonerswithouttheDukeofLerma’s

knowledgeorconsent.

IaskedScipiohowheknewhisexcellencytohavehadnosharein

myarrest.Youmaydependonit,answeredhe,myinformationis

undeniable.OneofmyfriendsintheDukeofUzeda’sconfidence

acquaintedmewithallthecircumstancesofyourimprisonment.

Calderona,havingdiscoveredbyaspythatSignoraSirena,with

thehandleofanaliastohername,wasreceivingnightvisits

fromthePrinceofSpain,andthattheCountdeLemosmanaged

thatintriguebythepanderismofSignordeSantillane,

determinedtoberevengedonthewholeknot.Tothisendhe

waitedontheDukeofUzeda,anddiscoveredthewholeaffair.The

duke,overjoyedatsuchafineopportunityofruininghisenemy,

didnotfailtobestirhimself.Helaidhisinformationbefore

theking,andpaintedtheprince’sdangerinthemostlively

colours.Hismajestywasmuchangered,andshewedthathewasso,

bysendingSirenatothenunneryprovidedforsuchfrailsisters,

banishingtheCountdeLemos,andcondemningGilBlasto

perpetualimprisonment.

This,pursuedScipio,iswhatmyfriendtoldme.Hence,you

gatheryourmisfortunetobetheDukeofUzeda’shandiwork,or

ratherCalderona’s.

Thusitseemedprobablethatmyaffairsmightbereinstatedin

time;thattheDukeofLerma,chagrinedathisnephew’s

banishment,wouldmoveheavenandearthforthatnobleman’s

recall;anditmightnotbetoomuchtoexpectthathis

excellencywouldnotforgetme.Whatadelicategipsyishope!

Shewheedledmeoutofallanxietyaboutmyshatteredfortunes,

andmademeaslight-heartedasifIhadgoodreasontobeso.My

prisonlookednotlikethedungeonofperpetualmisery,butlike

thevestibuletoamoredistinguishedstation.Forthusranthe

trainofmyreasoning:DonFernandoBorgia,FatherJeromeof

Florence,andmorethanall,FriarLouisofAliaga,whomaythank

himforhisplaceabouttheking’sperson,aretheprime

minister’spartisans.Withtheaidofsuchpowerfulfriends,his

excellencywillbeardownallopposition,evensupposingno

changetotakeplaceinthepoliticalbarometer.Buthis

majesty’shealthisveryprecarious.Thefirstactofanewreign

wouldbetorecalltheCountdeLemos;hewouldnotfeelhimself

athomeintheyoungmonarch’spresencetillhehadintroducedme

atcourt;andtheyoungmonarch

wouldnotsiteasyonhisthronetillhehadshoweredbenefitson

myhead.Thus,feastingbyanticipationonthepleasuresof

futurity,Ibecamecalloustoexistingevils.Thetwobags,snug

inthegoldsmith’scustody,werenobaddoublestothepartwhich

hopeactedinthisshiftingpantomime.

ItwasimpossiblenottoexpressmygratitudetoScipioforhis

zealandhonesty.Iofferedhimhalfthesalvage,butherejected

it.Iexpect,saidhe,averydifferentacknowledgment.

Astonishedasmuchathismysteriousclaimasathisrefusal,I

askedwhatmoreIcoulddoforhim.Letusneverpart,answered

he.Allowmetolinkmyfatewithyours.IfeelforyouwhatI

neverfeltforanyothermaster.Andonmypart,mygoodfellow,

saidI,youmayrestassuredthatyourattachmentisnotthrown

away.Youcaughtmyfancyatfirstsight.Wemusthavebeenborn

underLibraorGemini,wherefriendshipislordoftheascendant.

Iwillinglyacceptyourprofferedpartnership,andwillcommence

businessbyprevailingwiththewardentoimmureyoualongwith

meinthistower.Thatistheverything,exclaimedhe.Youwere

beforehandwithme,forIwasjustgoingtobegthatfavour.Your

companyisdearertomethanlibertyitself.Ishallonlyjustgo

toMadridnowandthen,tosnuffthegaleoftheministerial

atmosphere,andtrywhetheranyscentlieswhichmaybe

favourableforyourpursuit.Thuswillyoucombineinmeabosom

friend,atrustymessenger,andanunsuspectedspy.

Theseadvantagesweretooimportantformetoforegothem.I

thereforekeptsousefulapersonaboutme,withleaveofthe

obligingwarden,whowouldnotstandinthewayofsosoothinga

relieftothewearinessofsolitude.

CH.VIII.—Scipio’sfirstjourneytoMadrid:itsobjectand

success.GilBlasfallssick.Theconsequenceofhisillness.

IFitisacommonproverbthatourdirestenemiesarethoseof

ourownhousehold,theconverseoughtequallytobeadmitted

amongthesawsofamorecandidexperience.Aftersuch

incontestableproofsofScipio’szeal,hebecametomelike

anotherself.AlldistinctionofplacewasconfoundedbetweenGil

Blasandhissecretary;allinsolencewasdroppedontheone

hand,allcringingontheother.Theirlodging,bed,andboard

wereincommon.

Scipio’sconversationwasofaverylivelyturn;hemighthave

beendubbedtheSpanishMomus,withoutanyderogationtothe

PunchofthePantheon.Buthehadalonghead,aswellasa

fancifulbrain,combiningthecharactersofcounsellorand

jester.Myfriend,saidI,oneday,whatdoyouthinkofwriting

totheDukeofLerma?Itcould,methinks,donoharm.Why,asto

that,answeredhe,thegreataresuchchameleons,thatthereis

noknowingwheretohavethem.Atalleventsyoumayriskit;

thoughIwouldnotlaythepostageofyourletteronitssuccess.

Theministerlovesyou,itistrue;butthenpoliticallovelacks

memory,asmuchaspersonallovelacksvisualdiscrimination.Out

ofsight,outofmind!isatoncethemottoandthestigmaof

thesegentry.

Trueasthismaybeinthegeneral,repliedI,mypatronisa

gloriousexception.Hiskindnesslivesinmyrecollection.Iam

persuadedthathesuffersformysufferings,andthattheyare

incessantlypreyingonhisspirits.Wemustgivehimcreditfor

onlywaitingtilltheking’sangershallpassaway.Beitso,

resumedhe;Iwishyoumaynotreckonwithoutyourhost.Assail

hisexcellencythenwithanepistletostirthewaters.Iwill

engagetodeliveritintohisownhands.Pen,ink,andpaper

beingbrought,IcomposedaspecimenofeloquencewhichScipio

declaredtobeaparagonofpathos,andTordesillaspreferred,

forthecantofsermonizingprolixity,totheoldarchbishop’s

homilies.

IflatteredmyselfthattherewouldbetearsintheDukeof

Lerma’seyes,anddistractioninhisaspect,atthedetailof

miserieswhichexistedonlyonpaper.Inthatassurance,I

despatchedmymessenger,whonosoonergottoMadrid,thanhe

wenttotheminister’s.Meetingwithanolddomesticofmy

acquaintance,hehadnodifficultyingainingaccesstotheduke.

Mylord,saidScipiotohisexcellency,ashedeliveredthe

packet,oneofyourmostdevotedservants,lyingathislengthon

straw,inadampanddrearydungeonatSegovia,mosthumbly

supplicatesfortheperusalofthisletter,whichatender-heartedturnkeyhas

furnishedhimwiththemeansofwriting.The

ministeropenedtheletter,andglancedoverthecontents.But

thoughhefoundthereamotiveandacueforpassion,enoughto

amazeallhisfacultiesatonce,farfromdrowningthefloorwith

brinysecretions,hecleavedtheearofhishousehold,andsmote

theheartofmycourierwithhorridspeech:Friend,tell

Santillanethathehasagreatdealofimpudencetoaddressme,

aftersorankanoffence,worthilyconfrontedbythesevere

sentenceoftheking.Underthatsentenceletthewretchdragout

hisdays,norlooktomymediationforarespite.

Scipio,thoughneitherdullnormuddy-mettled,begantobe

unpregnantofthisdefeatedcause.Yethewasnotsopigeon-liveredastoretirewithoutaneffortinmyfavour.Mylord,

repliedhe,thispoorprisonerwillgiveuptheghostwithgrief,

attherecitalofyourexcellency’sdispleasure.Theduke

answeredlikeaprimeminister,withasuperciliouscorrugation

offeatures,andadecisiverevolutionofhisfronttosomemore

prosperoussuitor.Thishedid,tocoverhisownshareinthe

shameofpimping;andsuchtreatmentmustallthosehireling

scavengersexpect,whorakeinthefilthandordureofrotten

statesmen,courtiers,andpoliticians.

MysecretarycamebacktoSegoviaanddeliveredtheresultofhis

mission.Andnowbeholdme,sunkdeeperthanonthefirstdayof

myimprisonment,inthegulfofafflictionanddespair!TheDuke

ofLerma’sturningking’sevidencegaveahangingposturetomy

affairs.Mycouragewasrunout;andthoughtheydidallthey

couldtokeepupmyspirits,theagitationanddistressofmy

mindthrewmeintoafever.

Thewarden,whotookalivelyinterestinmyrecovery,fancying

inhisunmedicalheadthatphysicianscuredfevers,broughtmea

doubledoseofdeathintwoofthatdolefuldeity’smost

practisedexecutioners.SignorGilBlas,saidhe,asheushered

intheirgrislyforms,herearetwogodsonsofHippocrates,who

arecometofeelyourpulse,andtoaugmentthenumberoftheir

trophiesinyourperson.Iwassoprejudicedagainstthewhole

faculty,thatIshouldcertainlyhavegiventhemavery

discouragingreception,hadliferetaineditsusualcharmsinmy

estimation;butbeingbentonmydeparturefromthisvaleof

tears,IfeltobligedtoTordesillasforhasteningmyjourney,by

asaferconveyancethanthecrimeofsuicide.

Mygoodsir,saidoneofthepair,yourrecoverywill,under

Providence,dependonyourentireconfidenceinourskill.

ImplicitconfidenceIansweredI:withyourassistance,Iam

fullypersuadedthatafewdayswillplacemebeyondthereachof

fever,andalltheshocksthatfleshisheirto.Yes!withthe

blessingofHeaven,rejoinedhe,itisaconsummationdevoutlyto

bewished,andeasilytobeeffected.Atallevents,ourbest

endeavoursshallnotbewanting.Andindeeditwasnojoke:for

theygotmeintosuchfinetrainingfortheotherworld,thatfew

ofmymaterialparticleswereleftinthis.AlreadyhadDon

Andrew,observingmefumblewiththesheets,andsmileuponmy

fingers’ends,andthinkingtherewasbutoneway,sentfora

Franciscantoshewitme:alreadyhadthegoodfather,having

mumbledoverthesalvationofmysoul,retiredtotherefection

ofhisownbody:andmyownopinionleanedtotheimmediate

necessityofmakingagoodend.IbeckonedScipiotomybedside,

Mydearfriend,saidI,inthefaintaccentsofatorturedand

evacuatedpatientIgiveandbequeathtoyouoneofthebagsin

Gabriel’spossession;theotheryoumustcarrytomyfatherand

motherintheAsturias,who,ifstillliving,mustbeinnarrow

circumstances.But,alas!Ifear,theyhavenotbeenabletobear

upagainstmyingratitude.Muscada’sreportofmyunnatural

behaviourmusthavebroughttheirgreyhairswithsorrowtothe

grave.ShouldHeavenhavefortifiedtheirtenderheartsagainst

myindifference,youwillgivethemthebagofdoubloons,with

assurancesofmydyingremorse:and,iftheyarenomore,I

chargeyoutolayoutthemoneyinmassesforthereposeoftheir

soulsandofmine.ThendidIstretchoutmyhand,whichhe

bathedinsilenttears.Itisnotalwaystrue,thatthemourning

ofanheirismirthinmasquerade.

ForsomehoursIfanciedmyselfoutward-bound,andonthepoint

ofsailing;butthewindchanged.Mypilotshavingquittedthe

helm,andleftthevesseltothesteerageofnature,thedanger

ofshipwreckdisappeared.Thefever,mutinyingagainstits

commandingofficers,gavealltheirprognosticsthelie,and

actedcontrarytogeneralorders.Igotbetterbydegrees,in

mindaswellasinbody.Myconsolationwasallderivedfrom

within.Ilookedatwealthandhonourswiththeeyeofadying

anchorite,andblessedthemaladywhichrestoredmysoul.I

abjuredcourts,politics,andtheDukeofLerma.Ifevermy

prisondoorswereopened,itwasmyfixedresolvetobuya

cottage,andlivelikeaphilosopher.

Mybosomfriendapplaudedmydesign,andtofurtherits

execution,undertookasecondjourneytosolicitmyrelease,by

theinterventionofaclevergirlaboutthepersonofthe

prince’snurse.Hecontendedthataprisonwasaprisonstill,in

spiteofkindindulgenceandgoodcheer.InthisIagreed,and

gavehimleavetodepart,withaferventprayertoHeaventhatwe

mightsoontakepossessionofourhermitage.

CH.IX.—Scipio’ssecondjourneytoMadrid.GilBlasissetat

libertyoncertainconditions.Theirdeparturefromthetowerof

Segovia,andconversationontheirjourney.

WHILEwaitingforScipio’sreturnfromMadrid,Ibeganacourse

ofstudy.TordesillasfurnishedmewithmorebooksthanIwanted.

Heborrowedthemfromanoldofficerwhocouldnotread,buthad

fittedupamagnificentlibrary,thathemightpassforamanof

learning.Aboveall,Idelightedinmoralessaysandtreatises,

becausetheyaboundedincommonplacesaccordingwithmy

antipathytocourtsandphilosophicrelishofsolitude.

ThreeweekselapsedbeforeIheardasyllablefrommynegotiator,

whoreturnedatlengthwithacheerfulcountenance,andnewsto

thefollowingeffect:Bytheintercessionofahundredpistoles

withthechambermaid,andherintercessionwithhermistress,the

PrinceofSpainhasbeenprevailedwithtopleadforyour

enlargementwithhisroyalfather.Ihastenedhithertoannounce

thesehappytidings,andmustreturnimmediatelytoputthelast

handtomywork.Withthesewords,heleftme,andwentbackto

court

Attheweek’sendmyexpeditiousagentreturned,withthe

intelligencethattheprincehadprocuredmyliberty,notwithout

somedifficulty.Onthesamedaymygenerouskeeperconfirmedthe

assuranceinperson,withthekindestcongratulations,andthe

followingnotice:—Yourprisondoorsareopen,butontwo

conditions,whichIamsorrythatmydutyobligesmetoannounce,

becausetheywillprobablybedisagreeabletoyou.Hismajesty

expresslyforbidsyoutoshewyourfaceatcourt,ortobefound

withinthelimitsofthetwoCastilesonthisdaymonth.Iam

extremelysorrythatyouareinterdictedfromcourt.AndIam

delightedatit,answeredI.Witnessallthepowersabove!I

askedthekingforonlyonefavour;hehasgrantedmetwo.

Withmylibertythusconfirmed,Ihiredacoupleofmules,on

whichwemountedthenextday,aftertakingleaveofCogollos,

andthankingTordesillasathousandtimesforallhisinstances

offriendship.WesetforwardcheerfullyontheroadtoMadrid,

todrawourdepositoutofSignorGabriel’shands,amountingtoa

thousanddoubloons.Ontheroadmyfellow-travellerobserved:If

wearenotrichenoughtopurchaseasplendidproperty,wecanat

leastsecureeaseandcompetencytoourselves.Acabin,answered

I,wouldbelargeenoughformymostambitiousthoughts.Though

scarcelyatthemiddleperiodoflife,theworldhaslostits

charmsforme;itshopes,itsfears,itscares,itsduties,are

allabsorbedintheselfishnessofphilosophicalretirement.

Independentlyoftheseprinciples,IcanassureyouIhave

paintedformyselfarurallandscape,withaforegroundof

innocentpleasures,andpastoralsimplicityintheperspective.

Alreadydoestheenamelofthemeadowsglitterundermyeyes;

alreadydoestheriver’smurmuraccordwiththewingedchorusof

thegrove:huntingexasperatesthemanlyvirtues,andfishing

preachespatience.Onlyfiguretoyourself;myfriend,whata

continualroundofamusementsolitudemayfurnish,andyouwill

panttobeadmittedofhercrew.Thenfortheeconomyofour

table,thesimplestwillbethecheapest,andofcoursethebest.

UnadulteratedCeresshallbeourofficialcaterer:whenhunger

shallhavetamedourfastidiousappetitesintosobriety,a

mumbledcrustwillrelishlikeanortolan.Thesupremedelightof

eatingisnotinthethingate,butinthepalateofhimwho

eats;apropositioninculinaryphilosophy,provedbythe

frequentloathingofmyownstomach,throughalongseriesof

ministerialdinners.Abstemiousnessisaluxuryofthemost

exquisiterefinement,andthebestrecipeinthemateriamedica.

Withyourgoodleave,SignorGilBlas,interruptedmysecretary,

Iamnotaltogetherofyourmindrespectingtheluscioustreatof

abstemiousness.Whyshouldwemesslikethebankruptsagesof

antiquity?Surelywemayindulgethecarnalmanalittle,without

anyreasonableoffencetothespiritual.Sincewehave,bythe

blessingofProvidenceandmyforecast,wherewithaltokeepthe

spitandthespigotinexercise,donotletustakeupourabode

withfamineandwretchedness.Assoonaswegetsettled,wemust

stockourcellar,andestablisharespectablelarder,likepeople

whoknowwhatiswhat,anddonotseparatethemselvesfromthe

vulgarcrowdtorenouncethegoodthingsofthislife,butto

tastethemwithamoreexquisiterelish.AsHesiodsays,

Enjoythyricheswithaliberalsoul;Plenteousthefeast,all

smilingbethebowl.

Andagain,Tostintthewineafrugalhusbandshows,Whenfromthe

middleofthecaskitflows.

Whatthedevil,MasterScipio,interruptedIinmyturn,youcan

capversesoutoftheGreekpoets!Andpraywheredidyouget

acquaintedwithHesiod?Inverylearnedcompany,answeredhe.I

livedsometimewithawalkingdictionaryatSalamanca,afellow

uptotheelbowsinquotationandcommentary.Hecouldputa

largevolumetogetherlikeahouseofcards.Hislibrary

furnishedhimwithahodge-podgeofHebrew,Greek,andLatin

commonplaces,whichhetranslatedintobuckramCastilian.AsI

washistranscriber,sometagsofverses,stingsofepigrams,and

sagetruismsstuckbytheway.Withsuchanapparatus,repliedI,

yourmemorymustbemostphilosophicallystocked.But,notto

losesightofourfutureprospects,whereaboutsinSpainhadwe

bestfixourSocraticabode?MyvoiceisforArragon,resumedmy

counsellor.Weshallthereenjoyallthebeautiesofnature,and

leadthelifeofParadise.Well,then,forArragon!saidI.May

itteemwithallthedeardelightsthatyouthfulpoetsfancywhen

theydream!

CH.X.—TheirdoingsatMadrid.TherencounterofGilBlasin

thestreet,anditsconsequences.

ONourarrivalinMadrid,wealightedatalittlepublic-house

whereScipiohadbeenaccustomedtoputup,whenceourfirst

visitwastomybanker,Salero.Hereceivedusverycordially,

andexpressedthehighestsatisfactionatmyrelease.Indeed,

addedhe,youruntowardfatetouchedmesonearlyastochangemy

viewsofapoliticalalliance.Thefortunesofcourtiersarelike

castlesintheair:soIhavemarriedmydaughterGabrielatoa

wealthytrader.Youhaveactedverywisely,answeredI;for

besidesthatabirdinthehandisworthtwoinabush,whena

ploddingcitizenaspirestothehonourofbringingamanof

fashionintohisfamily,heveryoftenhasanimpertinentpuppy

forhisson-in-law.

Thenchangingthetopic,andcomingtothepoint:SignorGabriel,

pursuedI,wecametotalkalittleaboutthetwothousand

pistoleswhich….Yourmoneyisallready,saidthe

goldsmith,interruptingme.Hethentookusintohiscloset,and

deliveredthetwobags,carefullylabelledwithmynameonthem.

IthankedSaleroforhisexactness,andheaveninmysleevefor

myescapefromhisdaughter.Atourinnwecountedoverthe

money,andfounditright,deductingfiftydoubloonsforthe

expensesofmyenlargement.Ourthoughtswerenowwhollybent

uponArragon.Mysecretaryundertooktobuyacarriageandtwo

mules.Itwasmyofficetoprovidehouseholdandbodylinen.

Duringmyperegrinationsforthatpurpose,ImetBaronSteinbach,

theofficerintheGermanGuardswithwhomDonAlphonsohadbeen

broughtup.

Itouchedmyhattohim;heknewmeagain,andreturnedmy

greetingwarmly.Myjoyisextreme,saidI,atseeingyour

lordshipinsuchfinehealth,tosaynothingofmywishto

inquireafterDonCaesarandDonAlphonsodeLeyva.Theyareboth

inMadrid,answeredhe,andstayingatmyhouse.Theycameto

townaboutthreemonthsago,tobepresentedonoccasionofDon

Alphonso’spromotion.HehasbeenappointedGovernorofValencia,

onthescoreofoldfamilyclaims,withouthavinginanyshape

pushedhisinterestatcourt.Nothingcouldbemoregratefulto

hisfeelings,orprovemorestronglyourroyalmaster’sgoodness,

whodelightstorecognizethemeritsofancestryinthepersons

oftheirdescendants.

ThoughIknewmoreofthismatterthanSteinbach,Ikeptmy

knowledgeinthebackground.Yetsolivelywasmyimpatienceto

hailmyoldmasters,thathewouldnotdampmyardourbydelay.I

hadamindtotryDonAlphonso,whetherhestillretainedhis

regardforme.HewasplayingatchesswithBaronessSteinbach,

Onmyentrance,hestartedupfromhisgame,rantowardsme,and

squeezingmetightinhisembrace:Santillane,saidhe,with

demonstrationsofthesincerestjoy,atlength,then,youare

restoredtomyheart.Iamdelightedatit!Itwasnotmyfault

thatweeverparted.YoumayrememberhowstronglyIurgedyou

nottowithdrawfromtheCastleofLeyva.Youweredeaftomy

entreaties.ButImustnotchideyourobstinacy,becauseits

motivewasthepeaceofthefamily.Yetyououghttohaveletme

hearfromyou,andtohavesparedmyfruitlessinquiriesat

Grenada,wheremybrother-in-law,DonFerdinand,sentmeword

thatyouwere.AndnowtellmewhatyouaredoingatMadrid.Of

courseyouhavesomesituationhere.BeassuredthatIshall

alwaystakealivelyinterestinyourconcerns.Sir,answeredI,

itisbutfourmonthssinceIoccupiedaconsiderablepostat

court.IhadthehonourofbeingtheDukeofLerma’sconfidential

secretary.Canitbepossible?exclaimedDonAlphonso,asifhe

couldscarcelybelievehisears.What,wereyousonearthe

personoftheprimeminister?IthenrelatedhowIhadgainedand

losthisfavour,andendedwithavowingmydeterminationtobuya

cottageandgardenwiththewreckofmyshatteredfortunes.

ThesonofDonCaesarheardmeattentively,andmadethisanswer:

MydearGilBlas,youknowhowIhavealwayslovedyou;norshall

youlongerbefortune’spuppetIwillsetyouabovehervagaries,

bysecuringyouanindependence.Sinceyoudeclareforacountry

life,alittleestateofoursnearLirias,aboutfourleagues

fromValencia,shallbesettledonyou.Youareacquaintedwith

thespot.Suchapresentwecanmake,withoutputtingourselves

totheleastinconvenience.Icananswerformyfather’sjoining

intheact,andforSeraphina’sentireapprobation.

IthrewmyselfatDonAlphonso’sfeet,whoraisedmeimmediately.

Morepenetratedbyhisaffectionthanbyhisbounty,Ipressed

hishandandsaid,Sir,yourconductcharmsme.Yournoblegift

isthemorewelcome,asitprecedestheknowledgeofaserviceit

hasbeeninmypowertorenderyou;andIhadratheroweitto

yourgenerosity,thantoyourgratitude.Thisgovernorofmy

makingdidnotknowwhattounderstandbythehint,andpressed

foranexplanation.Igaveitinfull,tohisutterastonishment.

NeitherhenorBaronSteinbachcouldeverhavetheslightest

suspicionthatthegovernmentofValenciawasowingtomy

interestatcourt.Yethavingnoreasontodoubtthefact,my

friendproposedtograntmeanannuityoftwothousandducats,in

additiontothelittlefarmatLirias.

Holdyourhand,SignorDonAlphonso!exclaimedIatthisoffer.

Youmustnotsetmyavariceafloatagain.Iammyselfaliving

witness,thatfortunemaygivesuperfluitiestoherfavourites,

buthasnocompetencetobestow.WithpleasurewillIacceptof

theestateatLirias,wheremypresentpropertywillbe

sufficientforallmywants.Ratherthanincreasemycareswith

mypossessions,Iwouldbuildahospitaloutofmyexisting

funds.Richesareaburden:anditmustbeafoolishanimalthat

wouldbearfardelsinthemangerorthefield.

Whileweweretalkingafterthisfashion,DenCaesarcamein.His

joywasnotlessthanhisson’satthesightofme;andbeing

informedofthefamilyobligations,heagainpressedmetoaccept

oftheannuity,whichIagainrefused.Whenthewritingswere

drawn,thefatherandsonmadetheassignmenttheirjointactand

deed,transferringtomethefeesimple,andputtingmein

immediatepossession.Mysecretaryhalfstaredtheeyesoutof

hishead,whenItoldhimweladalandedestateofourown,and

howwecamebyit.Whatisthevalueofthislittlefreehold?

saidhe.Fivehundredducatsperannum,answeredI,andthefarm

inhighcultivation,withinaringfence.Ihaveoftenbeenthere

duringmystewardship.Thereisasmallhouseonthebanksofthe

Guadalaviar,inalittlehamlet,surroundedbyacharming

country.

Whatpleasesmebetterthanall,criedScipio,isthatweshall

haveplentyofsporting,rareliving,andexcellentwine.Come,

master,letusleavethiscrowdedcity,andhastentoour

hermitage.Ilongtobethereasmuchasyoucando,answeredI;

butImustfirstgototheAsturias.Myfatherandmotherarenot

incomfortablecircumstances.Theyshallthereforeendtheirdays

withmeatLirias.Heaven,perhaps,hasthrownthiswindfallin

mywaytotrymyfilialduty,andwouldpunishmefortheneglect

ofitScipioapprovedmypurpose,andurgeditsspeedyexecution.

Yes,myfriend,saidI,wewillsetoutassoonaspossible.I

shallconsideritasmydeardelightto

sharethegiftsoffortunewiththeauthorsofmyexistence.We

shallsoonbesettledinourcountryretreat;andthenwillI

writethesetwoLatinversesoverthedoorofmyfarm-house,in

lettersofgold,forthepiousedificationofmyrustic

neighbours:

Inveniportum.Spesetfortuna,valete.

Satmelusistis;luditenuncalios.

BOOKTHETENTH.

CH.I.—GilBlassetsoutfortheAsturias;andpassesthrough

Valladolid,wherehegoestoseehisoldmaster,DoctorSangrado.

Byaccident,hecomesacrossSignorManuelOrdonnez,governorof

thehospital.

JUSTasIwasarrangingmatterstotakemydeparturefromMadrid,

andgowithScipiototheAsturias,PaulV.gavetheDukeof

Lermaacardinal’shat.Thispope,wishingtoestablishthe

inquisitioninthekingdomofNaples,investedtheministerwith

thepurple,andbythatmeanshopedtobringKingPhilipoverto

sopiousandpraiseworthyadesign.Thosewhowerebest

acquaintedwiththisnewmemberofthesacredcollege,thought

muchlikemyself,thatthechurchwasinafairwayfor

apostolicalpurity,aftersoghostlyanacquisition.

Scipio,whowouldhavelikedbettertoseemeoncemoreblazing

atcourt,thaneithercloisteredorrusticated,advisedmeto

shewmyfaceatthecardinal’saudience.Perhaps,saidhe,his

eminence,findingyouatlargebytheking’sorder,maythinkit

unnecessarytoaffectanyfurtherdispleasureagainstyou,and

mayevenreinstateyouinhisservice.MygoodfriendScipio,

answeredI,youseemtoforgetthatmylibertywasgrantedonly

onconditionofmakingmyselfscarceinthetwoCastiles.

Besides,canyousupposemesosooninclinedtobecomean

absenteefrommydomainofLirias?Ihavetoldyoubefore,andI

tellityouonceagain:ThoughtheDukeofLermashouldrestore

metohisgoodgraces,thoughheshouldevenoffermeDonRodrigo

deCalderona’splace,Iwouldrefuseit.Myresolutionistaken:

ImeantogoandfindoutmyparentsatOviedo,andcarrythem

withmetoValencia.Asforyou,mygoodfellow,ifyourepentof

havinglinkedyourfatewithmine,youhaveonlytosayso:Iam

readytogiveyouhalfofmyreadymoney,andyoumaystayat

Madrid,wherefortuneputsonherkindestsmilestothosewhowoo

herlustily.

Whatthen!repliedmysecretary,alittleaffectedbythese

words,canyoususpectmeofanyunwillingnesstofollowyouinto

yourretreat?Theveryideaisaninjurytomyzealandmy

attachment….What,Scipio!thatfaithfulappendage,who

wouldwillinglyhavepassedtheremnantofhisdayswithyouin

thetowerofSegovia,ratherthanabandonyoutoyourwretched

fate,canhefeelsorrowfulattheprospectofanabode,wherea

thousandruraldelightsarewaitingtosmileonhisarrival?No,

no,Ihavenotawishtoturnyouasidefromyourresolution.Nor

canIrefrainfromowningmymaliciousdrift;whenIadvisedyou

toshewyourfaceattheDukeofLerma’saudience,itwasforthe

purposeofascertainingwhetheranyseedlingsofambitionwere

scatteredamongthefallowsofyourphilosophy.Sincethatpoint

issettled,andyouaremortifiedtoallthepompsandvanities

oftheworld;letusmakethebestofourwayfromcourt,togo

andsuckinwithZephyrusandFloratheinnocent,delicious

pleasuressoluxuriantinthenurseryofourimaginations.

Infact,wesoonafterwardstookourdeparturetogether,ina

chaisedrawnbytwogoodmules,drivenbyapostilionwhomIhad

addedtomyestablishment.WestoppedthefirstdayatAlcalade

Henar�s,andthesecondatSegovia,whence,withoutstoppingto

seeourgenerouswarden,Tordesillas,wewentforwardtoPen�fiel

ontheDuero,andthenextdaytoValladolid.Atsightofthis

largetown,Icouldnothelpfetchingadeepsigh.Mycompanion,

surprisedatthatconscientiousventilation,inquiredthereason

ofit.Mygoodfellow,saidI,itisbecauseIpractisedmedicine

hereforalongtime.Itgivesmethehorrors,evennow,tothink

ofmyunexpiatedmurders.Thewholelistofkilledandwounded

aremusteredinbattle-arrayyonder:thetombandthehospital

yawnwiththeirdisgorgedinhabitants,whoarerushingontotear

mepiecemeal,andexactthevengeanceduetothedrenchedcrew.

Whatadreadfulfancy!saidmysecretary.Intruth,Signorde

Santillane,yournatureistootender.Whyshouldyoubeshocked

atthecommoncourseofexchangeinyourbranchoftrade?Lookat

alltheoldestphysicians:theirwithersareunwrung.Whatcan

exceedtheself-complacencywithwhichtheyviewtheexitsof

patients,andtheentrancesofdiseases?Naturalconstitution

bearsthebruntofalltheirfailures,andmedicalinfallibility

takesthecreditofluckyaccidents.

Itisverytrue,repliedI,thatDoctorSangrado,onwhose

practiceIformedmyself,wasliketherestoftheoldphysicians

inpointofself-complacency.Itwastolittlepurposethat

twentypeopleinadayyieldedtohisprowess;hewasso

persuadedthatbleedinginthearmandcopiouslibationsofwarm

waterwerespecificsforeverycase,thatinsteadofdoubting

whetherthedeathofhispatientsmightnotpossiblyinvalidate

theefficacyofhisprescriptions,heascribedtheresulttoa

vacillatingcompliancewithhissystem.Byallthepowers!cried

Scipiowithaburstoflaughter,youopentomeanincomparable

character.Ifyouhaveanycuriositytobebetteracquaintedwith

him,saidI,itmaybegratifiedto-morrow,shouldSangradobe

stillliving,andresidentatValladolid:butitishighly

improbable;forhehadonefootinthegravewhenIlefthim

severalyearsago.

Ourfirstcare,onputtingupattheinn,wastoinquireafter

thisdoctor.Weweretoldthathewasnotdead;butbeing

incapacitatedbyagefrompayingvisitsoranyothervigorous

exertions,hehadbeensupersededbythreeorfourotherdoctors

whohadrisenintoreputebyanewpractice,accomplishingthe

sameendbydifferentmeans.Wedeterminedonlyingbyforaday

atValladolid,aswelltorestourmules,astocallonSignor

Sangrado.Aboutteno’clocknextmorningweknockedathisdoor;

andfoundhimsittinginhiselbow-chair,withabookinhis

hand.Heroseonourentrance;advancedtomeetuswithafirm

stepforamanofseventy,andbeggedtoknowourbusiness.My

worthyandapprovedgoodmaster,saidI,haveyoulostall

recollectionofanoldpupil?TherewasformerlyoneGilBlas,as

youmayremember,aboarderinyourhouse,andforsometimeyour

deputy.What!isityou,Santillane?answeredhe,withacordial

embrace.Ishouldnothaveknownyouagain.It,however,givesme

greatpleasuretoseeyouoncemore.Whathaveyoubeendoing

sinceweparted?Doubtlessyouhavemademedicineyour

profession.Itwasverystronglymyinclinationsotodo,replied

I;butimperiouscircumstancesmademereluctantlyabandonso

illustriousacalling.

Somuchtheworse,rejoinedSangrado:withtheprinciplesyou

suckedinundermytuition,youwouldhavebecomeaphysicianof

thefirstskillandeminence,withtheguidinginfluenceof

heaventodefendyoufromthedangerousallurementsofchemistry.

Ah,myson!pursuedhewithamournfulair,whatachangein

practicewithinthesefewyears!Thewholehonouranddignityof

theartiscompromised.Thatmystery,bywhoseinscrutable

decreesthelivesofmenhaveinallagesbeendetermined,isnow

laidopentotherude,untutoredgazeofblockheads,novices,and

mountebanks.Factsarestubbornthings;anderelongthevery

stoneswillcryaloudagainsttherascalityofthesenew

practitioners:lapidesclamabunt!Why,sir,therearefellowsin

thistown,callingthemselvesphysicians,whodragtheirdegraded

personsatthecurrustriumphalisantimonii,orasitshould

properlybetranslated,thecart’stailofantimony.Apostates

fromthefaithofParacelsus,idolatersoffilthykermes,healers

athaphazard,whomakeallthescienceofmedicinetoconsistin

thepreparationandprescriptionofdrugs.WhatachangehaveI

toannouncetoyou!Thereisnotonestoneleftuponanotherin

thewholestructurewhichourgreatpredecessorshadraised.

Bleedinginthefeet,forexample,sorarelypractisedinbetter

times,isnowamongthefashionablefolliesoftheday.That

gentle,civilizedsystemofevacuationwhichprevailedundermy

auspicesissubvertedbythereignofanarchyandemetics,of

quackeryandpoison.Inshort,chaosiscomeagain!Everyone

orderswhatseemsgoodinhisowneyes;thereisnodeferenceto

theauthorityofancientwisdom;ourmastersarelaiduponthe

shelf,andtheiraxiomsnotonetittlethemoreregarded,for

beingdeliveredinlanguagesasdefunctasthesubjectsoftheir

application.

Howeverdesirableitmightseemtolaughatsowhimsicala

declamation,Ihadthegoodmannerstoresisttheimpulse;and

notonlythat,buttoinveighbitterlyagainstkermes,without

knowingwhetheritwasavegetableorananimal,andtopour

forthacomminationofcursesagainsttheauthorsandinventors

ofsodiabolicalanengine.Scipio,observingmyby-playinthis

scene,hadamindtocomeinforhisshareinthebanter.Most

venerablepropofthetruepractice,saidhetoSangrado,asIam

descendedinthethirdgenerationfromaphysicianoftheold

school,givemeleavetojoinyouinyourphilippicagainst

chemicalconspiracies.Mylateillustriousprogenitor,heaven

forgivehimallhissins!wassowarmapartisanofHippocrates,

thatheoftencametoblowswithignorantpretenders,whovomited

forthblasphemiesagainstthathighpriestofthefaculty.What

isbredinthebonewillnotcomeoutoftheflesh:Icould

willinglyinflicttorturesanddeathwithmyownhandsonthose

rashinnovatorswhosedaringenormitiesyouhavecharacterized

withsuchaccuracyofdiscriminationandsuchforceoflanguage.

Whenwretcheslikethesegainanascendancyincivilizedsociety,

canwewonderatthedisjointedconditionoftheworld?

Thetimesareevenmoreoutofjointthanyouareawareof,said

thedoctor.Mybookagainstthevanitiesanddelusionsofthenew

practicemightaswellhavefallenstill-bornfromthepress;it

seems,ifanything,tohaveactedbycontraries,andtohave

exasperatedheresy.Theapothecaries,liketheTitansofold,

heapingpotionuponpill,andinvadingtheOlympusofmedicine,

thinkthemselvesfullyqualifiedtousurpandmaintainthe

throne,nowthatitisonlythoughtnecessarytosetopenthe

doors,andtodrivetheenemyoutattheportalortheposternby

mainforce.Theygotothelengthofinfusingtheirdeadlydrugs

intoapozemsandcordials,andthensetthemselvesupagainstthe

mosteminentofthefraternity.Thiscontagionhasspreadits

influenceevenamongthecloisters.Therearemonksinour

conventswhounitesurgeryandpharmacytothelaboursofthe

confessional.Thosemedicalbaboonsarealwaysdippingtheirpaws

intochemistry,andinventingcompositionsstrongenoughtolaya

sceneofecclesiasticalmortalityinthetemperateabodesof

peaceandreligion.NowthereareinValladolidabovesixty

religioushousesforbothsexes;judgewhatravagemusthavebeen

madetherebyunmercifulpumpingandthelancetmisapplied.

SignorSangrado,saidI,youareperfectlyintherighttogive

thesepoisonersnoquarter.Iuttergroanforgroanwithyou,and

heavethephilanthropicsighovertheinvadedlivesofour

fellow-creatures,sinkingunderthefellattackofsoheterodoxa

practice.Itfillsmewithhorrortothinkwhatadeadweight

chemistrymayonedaybetomedicine,justasadulteratedcoin

operatesonnationalcredit.Farbethatevildayfromthis

generation.

Justatthisclimaxofourdiscourse,incameanoldfemale

servant,withasalverforthedoctor,onwhichwasalittle

lightrollandaglasswithtwodecanters,theonefilledwith

waterandtheotherwithwine.Afterhehadeatenaslice,he

washeditdownwithadilutedbeverage,twopartswatertooneof

wine;butthistemperateuseofthegoodcreaturedidnotatall

savehimfromtheacrimonyofmyridicule.Soso,goodmaster

doctor,saidI,youarefairlycaughtinthefact.Youawine-bibber!you,whohaveenteredthelistslikeaknight-errant

againstthatunauthenticatedfermentation?you,whoreachedyour

grandclimactericonthestrengthofthepureelement?Howlong

haveyoubeensoatoddswithyourself?Yourtimeoflifecanbe

noexcuseforthealteration;since,inonepassageofyour

writings,youdefineoldagetobeanaturalconsumption,which

withersandattenuatesthesystem;andasaninferencefromthat

position,youreprobatetheignoranceofthosewriterswho

dignifywinewiththeappellationofoldmen’smilk.Whatcanyou

say,therefore,inyourowndefence?

Youbelabourmemostunjustly,answeredtheoldphysician.IfI

drankneatwine,youwouldhavearighttotreatmeasadeserter

frommyownstandard;butyoureyesmayconvinceyouthatmywine

iswellmixed.Anotherheresy,mydearapostleofthewellsand

fountains!repliedI.RecollecthowyouratedthecanonS�dillo

fordrinkingwine,thoughplentifullydashedwiththesalubrious

fluid.Ownmodestlyandcandidlythatyourtheorywasunfounded

andfanciful,andthatwineisnotapoisonousliquor,asyou

havesofalselyandscandalouslylibelleditinyourworks,any

furtherthan,likeanyotherofnature’sbounties,itmaybe

abusedtoexcess.

Thislecturesatratheruneasilyonourdoctor’sfeelings,asa

candidateforconsistency.Hecouldnotdenyhisinveteracy

againsttheuseofwineinallhispublications;butprideand

vanitynotallowinghimtoacknowledgethejusticeofmyattack

onhisapostasy,hewasleftwithoutawordtosayforhimself.

Notwishingtopushmysarcasmbeyondtheboundsofgoodhumour,

Ichangedthesubject;andafterafewminutes’longerstay,took

myleave,gravelyexhortinghimtomaintainhisgroundagainst

thenewpractitioners.Courage,SignorSangrado!saidI:neverbe

wearyofsettingyourwitsagainstkermes;anddeafenthehealth-dispensingtribewithyourthundersagainsttheuseofbleeding

inthefeet.If,spiteofallyourzealandaffectionformedical

orthodoxy,thisempiricgenerationshouldsucceedinsupplanting

trueandlegitimatepractice,itwillbeatleastyour

consolationtohaveexhaustedyourbestendeavoursinthesupport

oftruthandreason.

Asmysecretaryandmyselfwerewalkingtotheinn,makingour

observationsinhighgleeonthedoctor’sentertainingand

originalcharacter,nmanfromfiftyfivetosixtyyearsofage

happenedtopassnearusinthestreet,walkingwithhiseyes

fixedontheground,andalargerosaryinhishand.Iconned

overthedistinctivecutofhisappearancemostcunningly,and

wasrewardedintherecognitionofSignorManuelOrdonnez,that

faithfultrusteefortheaffairsofthehospital,ofwhomso

honourablementionismadeinthefirstvolumeofthesetrueand

instructivememoirs.Accostinghimwiththemostprofoundand

unquestionabletokensofrespect,Ipaidmycomplimentsindue

formandordertothevenerableandtrustworthySignorManuel

Ordonnez,themanofalltheworldinwhosehandstheinterests

ofthepoorandneedyaremostsafelyandbeneficiallyplaced.At

thesewordshelookedmesteadfastlyintheface,andanswered

thatmyfeatureswerenotaltogetherstrangetohim,butthathe

couldnotrecollectwherehehadseenme.Iusedtogobackwards

andforwardstoyourhouse,repliedI,whenoneofmyfriends,by

nameFabricioNunez,wasinyourservice.Ah!Irecollectthe

circumstanceatonce,rejoinedtheworthydirectorwithacunning

leer,andhavegoodreasontodoso;foryouwereabraceof

pleasantlads,andwerebynomeansbackwardinthelittlescape-gracetricksofyouthandinexperience.Well!andwhatisbecome

ofpoorFabricio?Wheneverhecomesacrossmythoughts,Icannot

helpfeelingalittleuneasyabouthistemporalandeternal

welfare.

Itwastorelieveyourminduponthatsubject,saidItoSignor

Manuel,thatIhavetakenthelibertyofstoppingyouinthe

street.FabricioissettledatMadrid,whereheemployshimself

inpublishingmiscellaniesandcollections.Whatdoyoumeanby

miscellaniesandcollections?repliedhe.Imean,resumedI,that

hewritesinverseandprose,fromepicpoemsandthehighest

branchesofphilosophy,downtoplays,novels,epigrams,and

riddles.Inshort,heisaladofuniversalgenius,andmost

exemplarybenevolence;sometimesmodestlytakingtohimselfthe

creditofhisowncompositions,andsometimeslendingouthis

talentstotheliteraryambitionofthosenoblemenwhowritefor

theirownamusement,butwishtheirnamestobeconcealed,except

fromachosencircle.Bytrafficlikethishesitsatthevery

firsttables.Buthowdoeshesitathisown?saidthedirector:

uponwhattermsdoeshelivewithhisbaker?Notquiteso

confidentiallyaswithpeopleoffashion,answeredI;forbetween

ourselves,Itakehimtobequiteasmuchoutatelbowsasever

Jobwas.MorebondsandjudgmentsagainsthimthaneverJobhad,

takemywordforit!repliedOrdonnez.Lethimlickthespittle

ofhistitledfriendsandpatronstillhisstomachheavesatthe

nauseatingsaliva;hisprinteddedicationsandhisoralflattery,

inspiteofallthecringingandallthetoad-eating,which

constitutethestockin-tradeofhisprofession,withallthe

profitsofhisworks,whetherbysubscriptionorordinary

publication,willnotbringgristenoughtohismill,tokeep

hungerfromthedoor.MindifwhatIsaydoesnotturnouttobe

true!Hewillcometothedogsatlast.

Nothingmorelikely!repliedI;forhecohabitswiththemuses

already;andmanyaplainmanhasfound,tohiscost,thatthere

isnokeepingcompanywiththesisters,withoutbeingworriedby

theirbullyingbrethren.MyfriendFabriciowouldhavedonemuch

betterbyremainingquietlywithyourlordship;hewouldnowhave

beenlyingonabedofroses,andeverythinghehadtouchedwould

haveturnedtogold.Hewouldatleasthavebeeninaverysnug

berth,saidManuel.Hewasagreatfavouriteofmine;andI

meant,byaregulargradationfromsubalterntoprincipal

situations,tohaveestablishedhimineaseandaffluenceonthe

basisofpubliccharity;butthefoolishfellowtookitintohis

headtosetupforawit.Hewroteaplay,andbroughtitoutat

thetheatreinthistown:thepiecewentofftolerablywell,and

nothingthenceforthwouldservehisturnbutcommencingauthorby

profession.LopedeVega,inhisestimation,wasbutatypeof

him:preferring,therefore,theintoxicatingvapourofpublic

applausetotheplainroastandboiledofthissubstantial

ordinary,hecametomeforhisdischarge.Itwastonopurpose

formetoarguethepoint,ortoprovetohimwhatasillycurhe

was,todroptheboneandrunaftertheshadow:themadblockhead

wassosuffocatedbythesmotherofauthorship,thatthe

instinctivedreadoffirecouldnotrousehisalacritytoescape

burning.Inshort,hewasmiserablyunconsciousofhisown

interest,ashissuccessorcantestify:forhe,possessing

practicalgoodsense,thoughwithouthalfFabricio’squickness

andversatility,makesithiswholestudyanddelighttogo

throughhisbusinessinaworkmanlikemanner,andtofallinwith

allmylittleways.Inreturnforsuchgoodconduct,Ipushedhim

forwardinamannercorrespondingwithhisdeserts;andheunites

inhisownperson,evenatthistimeofday,twoofficesinthe

hospital,theleastlucrativeofwhichwouldbemorethan

sufficienttoplaceanyhonestmanathisease,thoughencumbered

withayearlyteemingwife.

CH.II.—GilBlascontinueshisjourney,andarrivesinsafety

atOviedo.Theconditionofhisfamily.Hisfather’sdeath,and

itsconsequences.

FROMValladolidwegottoOviedoinfourdays,withoutany

untowardaccidentontheroad,inspiteoftheproverb,which

says,thatrobberslaytheirearstotheground,whenpilgrims

aregoingwithrichofferings,andtradersareridingwithfat

purses.Itwouldhavebeenafeasible,aswellasatempting

speculation.Twotenantsofasubterraneousabodemighthave

presentedanaspecttohavefrightenedourdoubloonsintoa

surrender;forcouragewasnotoneofthequalitiesIhadimbibed

atcourt;andBertrand,mymule-driver,seemednottobeofa

tempertogethisbrainsblownoutindefendingapurseinto

whichhehadnofreeingress.Scipiowastheonlyoneofthe

partywhowasanythingofabully.

Itwasnightwhenwecameintotown.Ourlodgingswereataninn

nearmyuncle,GilPerez,thecanon.Iwasverydesirousof

ascertainingthecircumstancesofmyparentsbeforemyfirst

interviewwiththem;and,inordertogainthatinformation,it

wasimpossibletomakemyinquiriesinabetterchannelthan

throughmylandlordandlandlady,intothelinesofwhosefaces

youcouldnotlookwithoutbeingsatisfiedthattheyknewevery

tittleoftheirneighbours’concerns.Asitturnedout,the

landlordkennedmeafteradiligentperusalofmyfeatures,and

criedout:BySaintAnthonyofPadua!thisisthesonofthe

honestusher,BlasofSantillane.Ay,indeed!saidthehostess;

andsoitis:withoutasinglemusclealtered!justforallthe

worldthatsamelittlestriplingGilBlas,ofwhomweusedtosay

thathewasassaucyashewashigh.Itbringsoldtimestomy

memory!whenheusedtocomehitherwithhisbottleunderhis

arm,tofetchwineforhisuncle’ssupper.

Madam,saidI,youhaveamostinveteratememory;butfor

goodness’sakechangethesubject,andtellmethemodernnewsof

myfamily.Myfatherandmotheraredoubtlessinnoveryenviable

situation.Ingoodtruth,youmaysaythat,answeredthe

landlady:youmayrackyourbrainsaslongasyoulike,butyou

willneverthinkofanythinghalfsomiserableaswhattheyare

sufferingatthispresentmoment.GilPerez,goodsoul!is

defunctalldownonesidebyastrokeofthepalsy,andtheother

halfofhimislittlebetterthanacorpse;wecannotexpecthim

tolastlong:thenyourfather,whowenttolivewithhis

reverencealittlewhileago,istroubledwithaninflammationof

thelungs,andisstanding,asabodymaysay,quavery-mavery

betweenlifeanddeath;whileyourmother,whoisnotoverand

abovehaleandheartyherself,isobligedtonursethemboth.

Onthisintelligence,whichmademefeelsomecompunctious

yearningsofnature,IleftBertrandwithmystudandbaggageat

theinn:then,withmysecretaryatmyheels,whowouldnot

desertmeinmytimeofneed,Irepairedtomyuncle’shouse.The

momentIcamewithinmymother’sreach,anaturalemotionof

maternalinstinctunfoldedtoherwhoIwas,beforehereyes

couldpossiblyhaverunoverthetracesofmycountenance.Son,

saidshe,withamelancholyexpression,afterhavingembracedme,

comeandbepresentatyourfather’sdeath;yourvisitisjustin

timetotakeinallthepiteouscircumstancesofsodeplorablean

event.Withthisheart-rendingreception,sheledmebythehand

intoachamberwherethewretchedBlasofSantillane,stretched

onacomfortlessbed,incoldanddismalaccordwiththethinness

ofhisfortunes,wasjustenteringonthelastgreatactofhuman

nature.Thoughsurroundedbytheshadesofdeath,hewasnot

quiteunconsciousofwhatwaspassingabouthim.Mydearest

friend,saidmymother,hereisyoursonGilBlas,whoentreats

yourforgivenessforallhisundutifulbehaviour,andiscometo

askyourblessingbeforeyoudie.Atthesetidingsmyfather

openedhiseyes,whichwhereonthepointofclosingforever:he

fixedthemuponme;andreadinginmycountenance,

notwithstandingtheawfulbrinkonwhichhestood,thatIwasa

sinceremournerforhisloss,hisfeelingswererecalledto

sympathybymysorrow.Heevenmadeanattempttospeak,buthis

strengthwastoomuchexhausted.Itookoneofhishandsinmine,

andwhileIbatheditwithmytears,inspeechlessagonyofsoul,

hebreathedhislast,asifhehadonlywaitedmyarrivaltopay

thedebtofnature,andwinghiswaytoscenesofuntriedbeing.

Thiseventhadbeentoolongpresenttomymother’smindto

overwhelmherwithanyunparalleledaffliction.Perhapsitsat

moreheavilyonmethanonher,thoughmyfatherhadneverinhis

lifegivenmeanyreasontofeelforhimasafather.Butbesides

thatmerefilialinstinctwouldhavemademeweepoverhiscold

remains,Ireproachedmyselfwithnothavingcontributedtothe

comfortofhislatterdays;then,whenIconsideredwhatahard-heartedvillainIhadbeen,Iseemedtomyselflikeamonsterof

ingratitude,orratherlikeanimpiousparricide.Myuncle,whom

Iafterwardssawlyingathislengthonanotherwretchedcouch,

andinamostlamentablepickle,mademeexperiencefreshagonies

ofupbraidingconscience.Unnaturalson!saidI,communingwith

myownuneasythoughts,beholdthechastisementofheavenupon

thysins,inthedisconsolateconditionofthynearestrelations.

Hadstthoubutthrowntothemthesuperfluxofthatabundance,in

whichbeforethyimprisonmentthourolledst,thoumightesthave

procuredforthemthoselittlecomfortswhichthyuncle’s

ecclesiasticalpittancewastooscantytofurnish,andperhaps

havelengthenedoutthetermofthyfather’slife.

GilPerezhadfallenintoastateofsecondchildhood,andwas,

thoughnumericallyuponthelistoftheliving,inevery

individualorganamerecorpse.Hismemory,nay,hisverysenses

hadretiredfromtheirallottedstationsinhissystem.Bootless

wasitformetostrainhiminmypiousarms,andlavishoutward

tokensofaffectiononhim:theymightaswellhavebeenwasted

onthedesertair.Toaslittlepurposedidmymotherringinhis

unnervedear,thatIwashisnephewGilBlas;begazedatmewith

avacant,stupidstare,andgaveneithersignnoranswer.Hadthe

tiesofconsanguinityandgratitudebeenalltooweak,toawaken

mytendersympathyforanuncle,towhomIowedthemeansofmy

firstlaunchintotheworld,theimpressionofhelplessdotageon

mysensesmusthavesoftenedmeintosomethinglikethe

counterfeitofvirtuousemotion.

Whilethisscenewaspassing,Scipiopreservedamelancholy

silence,sharinginallmysorrows,andminglinghissighswith

mineinthechastisedluxuryoffriendship.Butconcludingthat

mymother,aftersolonganabsence,mightwishtohavesomesuch

conversationwithme,asthepresenceofastrangermustrather

repressthanpromote,Idrewhimaside,saying,Go,mygood

fellow,sitdownquietlyattheinn,andleavemeherewithmy

onlysurvivingparent,whomightconsideryourcompanyasan

intrusion,whiletalkingoverfamilyaffairs.Scipiowithdrew,

forfearofbeingacloguponourconfidence;andIsatdownwith

mymothertoaninterchangeofcommunication,whichlastedall

night.Wereciprocallygaveafaithfulaccountofallthathad

happenedtoeachofus,sincemyfirstsallyfromOviedo.She

related,infullmeasureandrunningover,allthepettyinsults,

disappointments,andmortifications,whichshehadundergonein

herpilgrimagefromhousetohouseasaduenna.Agreatnumberof

theselittleanecdotesitwouldhavehurtmypridethatmy

secretaryshouldhavenoteddowninhisbiographicalbudget,

thoughIhadneverconcealedfromhimtheupsanddownsinthe

lotteryofmyownlife.WithalltherespectIowetomymother’s

saintedmemory,thegoodladyhadnottheknackofgoingthe

shortestroadtotheendofastory;hadshebutprunedherown

memoirsofallluxuriantcircumstances,therewouldnothavebeen

materialsformorethanatitheofhernarrative.

Atlengthshegottotheendofhertether,andIbeganmy

career.Withrespecttomygeneraladventures,Ipassedthemover

lightly;butwhenIcametospeakofthevisitwhichthesonof

BertrandMuscada,thegrocerofOviedo,hadpaidmeatMadrid,I

enlargedwithdecentcompunctiononthatdarkarticleinthe

historyofmylife.Imustfranklyown,saidItomymother,that

Igavethatyoungfellowaverybadreception;andhe,doubtless,

inrevenge,musthavedrawnahideousoutlineofmymoral

features.Hedidyoumorethanjustice,Itrust,answeredshe;

forhetoldusthathefoundyousopuffedandswollenwiththe

goodfortunethrustuponyoubytheprimeminister,asscarcely

toacknowledgehimamongyourformeracquaintance;andwhenhe

gaveyouamovingdescriptionofourmiseries,youlistenedasif

youhadnointerestinthetale,orknowledgeoftheparties.But

asfathersandmotherscanalwaysfindsomeclueforpalliation

intheconductoftheirgracelesschildren,wewereloathto

believethatyouhadsobadaheart.YourarrivalatOviedo

justifiesourfavourableinterpretation,andthosetearswhich

arenowflowingdownyourcheeks,aresomanypledgeseitherof

yourinnocenceoryourreformation.

Yourconstructionsweretoopartial,repliedI;therewasagreat

dealoftruthinyoungMuscada’sreport.Whenhecametoseeme

allmyfacultieswereengrossedbyvanityandmammon;ambition,

theprevailingdevilwhichpossessedme,leftnotathoughtto

throwawayonthedesolateconditionofmyparents.Ittherefore

couldbenowonder,ifinsuchadispositionofmindIgave

ratherafreezingreceptiontoamanwho,accostingmeina

peremptorystyle,tookuponhimtosay,withoutmincingthe

matter,thatitwaswellknownIwasasrichasaJew,and

thereforeheadvisedmetosendyouagoodroundsum,seeingthat

youwereverymuchputtoyourshifts:nay,hewentsofarasto

reproachme,inphraseofmoresinceritythangoodmanners,with

myunfeelingnegligenceofmyfamily.Hisconfoundedpersonality

stuckinmythroat;sothatlosingmylittlestockofpatience,I

shovedhimfairlybytheshouldersoutofmycloset.Itmustbe

confessedthatItooktheadministrationofjusticealittletoo

muchintomyownhands,beingjudgeandpartyinthesamecause;

neitherwasitproperthatyoushouldbearthebrunt,becausethe

grocerwasalittleanti-saccharineinhisphraseology;norwas

hisadvicethelesspertinentorjust,thoughcouchedinhomely

terms,orurgedwithploddingvulgarity.

Allthiscameplumpintheteethofmyconscience,themomentI

hadturnedMuscadaoutofdoors.Thevoiceofnaturalinstinct

contrivedtomakeitsway;mydutytomyparentsbroughtthe

bloodintomyface;butitwastheblushofshameforits

neglect,andnottheglowoftriumphatitsperformance.Yeteven

myremorsecangivemelittlecreditinyoureyes,sinceitwas

soonstifledinthefumesofavariceandambition.Butsometime

afterwards,havingbeensafelylodgedinthetowerofSegoviaby

royalmandate,Ifelldangerouslyillthere;andthattimely

remembrancerwasthecauseofbringingbackyoursontoyou.So

trueisit,thatsicknessandimprisonmentweremybestmoral

tutors;fortheyenablednaturetoresumeherrights,andweaned

meeffectuallyfromthecourt.Henceforthallmydeardelightis

insolitude;andmyonlybusinessintheAsturiasistoentreat

thatyouwouldsharewithmeinthemildpleasuresofaretired

life.Ifyourejectnotmyearnestpetition,Iwillattendyouto

anestateofmineinthekingdomofValencia,andwewilllive

theretogetherverycomfortably.YouareofcourseawarethatI

intendedtotakemyfatherthitheralso;butsinceheavenhas

ordaineditotherwise,letmeatleasthavethesatisfactionof

affordinganasylumtomymother,andmakingamendsbyallthe

attentionsinmypowerforthefallowseasonsintheformer

harvestofmyfilialduty.

Iacceptyourkindintentionsinverygoodpart,saidmymother;

andwouldtakethejourneywithouthesitation,ifIsawno

obstaclesintheway.Buttodesertyouruncleinhispresent

conditionwouldbeunpardonable;andIamtoomuchaccustomedto

thispartofthecountry,tolikelivingelsewhere:nevertheless,

astheproposaldeservestobematurelyweighed,Iwillconsider

furtherofitatmyleisure,Atpresent,yourfather’sfuneral

requirestobeorderedandarranged.Asforthat,saidI,wewill

leaveittothecareoftheyoungmanwhomyousawwithme;heis

mysecretary,withascleveraheadandasgoodaheartasyou

haveoftenbeenacquaintedwith;letthebusinessrestwithhim;

itcannotbeinbetterhands.

HardlyhadIpronouncedthesewords,whenScipiocameback;for

itwasalreadybroadday.Heinquiredwhetherhecouldbeofany

serviceinourpresentdistresses.Iansweredthathewascome

justintimetoreceivesomeveryimportantdirections.Assoon

ashewasmadeacquaintedwiththebusinessinhand:Awordto

thewise!saidhe:thewholeprocessionwithitsappropriate

heraldryisalreadymarshalledinthisheadofmine;youmay

trustmeforaveryprettyfuneral.Haveacare,saidmymother,

tomakeitplainanddecentwithoutanythinglikepomporparade.

Itcanscarcelybetoohumbleformyhusband,whomallthetown

knowstohavebeenlowinrank,andindigentincircumstances.

Madam,repliedScipio,thoughhehadbeenthemeanestandmost

destituteofthehumanrace,Iwouldnotbateonebuttoninthe

arrayofhisposthumoushonours.Mymaster’screditisatstake

intheproperconductoftheceremony;hehasbeeninan

ostensiblesituationundertheDukeofLerma,andhisfather

oughttobeburiedwithalltheformsofstateandnobility.

Ithoughtexactlyasmysecretarydiduponthesubject;andeven

wentsofarastobidhimsparenoexpenseontheoccasion.A

littleleavenofvanitystillfermentedinthemassofmy

philosophy,androseinmybosomwithalltheeffervescenceof

itsoriginallightness.Iflatteredmyselfthatbylavishing

posthumoushonoursonafatherwhohadblessedthedayofhis

deceasebynolucrativebequest,Ishouldinstilintothe

conceptionsofthebystandersahighsenseofmygenerousnature.

Mymother,onherpart,whateverairsofhumilityshemightput

on,hadnodisliketoseeingherhusbandcarriedoutwithdue

observanceoffuneralpompandceremony.WethereforeleftScipio

todojustashepleased;andhe,withoutamoment’sdelay,

adoptedallthenecessarymeasuresforthedisplayofthe

undertaker’sliveliestfancy.

Thegeniusofthatartistwascalledforthbuttoosuccessfully.

Hisemblems,devices,anddraperies,weresoostentatious,asto

disgustinsteadofcajolingthenatives:everyindividual,

whetherofthetownorthesuburbs,whetherhighorlow,richor

poor,feltshockedandinsultedbythisafter-thoughtparade.

Thisministerialbeggaronhorseback,saidone,canputhishand

intohispocketforhisfather’sfuneralbakedmeats,butnever

foundinhisheartwherewithaltofurnishhislivingtablewith

commonnecessaries.Itwouldhavebeenmuchmoretothepurpose,

saidanother,tohavemadetheoldgentleman’slatterdays

comfortable,thantohavewastedsuchthriftlesssumsonapost

obitactoffilialmunificence.Inshort,quipsofthebrainand

peltingsofthetonguepatteredroundourexecratedheads.It

wouldhavebeenwellhadthestormbeenonlyawhirlwindof

passion,orhurricaneofwords;butwewereall,Scipio,

Bertrand,andmyself,corporallyadmonishedofourmisdeeds,on

ourcomingoutofchurch;theyabuseduslikepickpockets,made

mouthsandodiousnoisesaswepassed,andfollowedBertrandat

hisheelstotheinnwithacopiousvolleyofstonesandmud.To

dispersethemobwhichhadcollectedbeforemyuncle’shouse,my

motherwasobligedtoshewherselfatthewindow,andtodeclare

publicly,thatshewasthoroughlysatisfiedwithmyproceedings.

Anotherdetachmenthadfiledofftothestable-yardwheremy

carriagestood,inthefulldeterminationofbreakingitto

pieces;andthistheywouldinevitablyhavedone,ifthelandlord

andladyhadnotfoundsomemeansofquietingtheirperturbed

spirits,andturningthemasidefromtheiroutrageouspurpose.

Alltheseaffronts,sorevoltingtomydignity,theeffectofthe

taleswhichtheyounggrocerhadbeenspreadingabouttown,

inspiredmewithsuchathoroughhatredformynativeplace,that

IdeterminedonquittingOviedoalmostimmediately,thoughbut

forthisbustleImighthavemadeitmyresidenceforsometime.

Iannouncedmyintention,withthereasonsofit,tomymother,

who,consideringmyuncouthreceptionasnoveryflattering

complimenttoherself,didnoturgemylongerstayamongpeople

solittleinclinedtotreatmecivilly.Theonlypointremaining

nowtobediscussedwasherfuturedestinyandprovision.Mydear

mother,saidI,sincemyunclestandssomuchinneedofyour

attendance,Iwillnolongerurgeyoutogoalongwithme;but,

ashisdaysseemlikelytobeveryfewonearth,youmustpromise

tocomeandtakeupyourabodewithmeatmyfarm,assoonasthe

lastdutiesareperformedtohishonouredremains.

Ishallmakenosuchpromise,answeredmymother,forImeanto

passtheremnantofmydaysintheAsturias,andinastateof

perfectindependence.Willyounotonalloccasions,repliedI,

beabsolutemistressinmyhousehold?Maybeso,andmaybenot!

rejoinedshe:youhaveonlytofallinlovewithsomeflirtofa

girl,andthenyouwillmarry:thenshewillbemydaughter-in-law,andIshallbeherstepmother;andthenweshalllive

togetherasstepmothersanddaughters-in-lawusuallydo.Your

prognostics,saidI,arefetchedfromagreatdistance.Ihave

notatpresentthemostremoteintentionofenteringintothe

happystate:buteventhoughsuchawhimshouldtakepossession

ofmybrain,Iwillpledgemyselfforinstructingmywifebetimes

inanimplicitsubmissiontoyourwillandpleasure.Thatis

givingsecurity,withoutthemeansofmakinggoodyourcontract,

repliedmymother:youwouldscarcelybeabletojustifybail.I

wouldnotevenswearthatinoursparring-matches,youmightnot

takeyourwife’spartinpreferencetomine,howeverillshe

mightbehave,orhoweverunreasonablyshemightargue.

Youtalkveryexcellentsense,madam,criedmysecretary,coming

inforhisshareoftheconversation:Ithinkjustasyoudo,

thatdocilityisaboutasmuchthevirtueofadonkeyasofa

daughter-in-law.Asthematterstands,thattheremaybeno

differenceofopinionbetweenmymasterandyou,sinceyouare

absolutelydeterminedtoliveasunder,youintheAsturias,and

heinthekingdomofValencia,hemustallowyouanannuityofa

hundredpistoles,andsendmehithereveryyearforthepayment.

Bythusarrangingmatters,motherandsonwillbeverygood

friends,withanintervaloftwohundredleaguesbetweenthem.

Thepartiesconcernedfellinatoncewiththeproposal:Ipaid

thefirstyearinadvance,andstoleoutofOviedothenext

morningbeforedawn,forfearofvyingwithSaintStephenin

popularfavour.Suchwerethecharmsofmyreturntomynative

place.Anadmirablelessonthisforthosesuccessfulupstarts,

whohavinggoneabroadtomaketheirfortunes,comehometobe

thepurse-proudtyrantsoftheirbirth-place.

CH.III.—GilBlassetsoutforValencia,andarrivesat

Lirias;descriptionofhisseat;theparticularsofhis

reception,andthecharactersoftheinhabitantshefoundthere.

WetooktheroadforLeon,afterwardsthatofPalencia;and,

continuingourjourneybyshortstages,arrivedontheeveningof

thetenthdayatthetownofSegorba,whenceearlyonthemorrow

werepairedtomyseat,atthedistanceofverylittlemorethan

threeleagues.Inproportionasweapproachednearer,itwas

amusingtoseewithwhatalongingeyemysecretarylookedatall

theestateswhichlayinourway,totherightandleftofthe

road.Wheneverhecaughtaglimpseofanywhichbespoketherank

andopulenceofitsowner,henevermissedpointingatitwith

hisfinger,andwishingthatweretheplaceofourretreat.

Iknownot,mygoodfriend,saidI,whatideayouhaveformedof

ourhabitation;butifyouhavetakenitintoyourheadthatours

isamagnificenthouse,withthedomainofagreatlanded

proprietor,Iwarnyouintimethatyouarelayingmuchtoo

flatteringanunctiontoyourvanity.

Ifyouhavenomindtobethedupeofawarmimagination,figure

toyourselfthelittleornamentedcottagewhichHoracefittedup

nearTiburinthecountryoftheSabines,onasmallfarm,the

fee-simpleofwhichwasgivenhintbyMaecenas.DonAlphonsohas

mademejustsuchanotherpresent,moreasatokenofaffection

thanforthevalueofthething.ThenImustexpecttosee

nothingbutadirtyhovel!exclaimedScipio.Bearinmind,

repliedI,thatIhavealwaysgivenyouquiteanunvarnished

descriptionofmyplace;andnow,evenatthismoment,youmay

judgeforyourselfwhetherIhavenotstucktotruthandnature

inmyrepresentations.Justcarryyoureyealongthecourseof

theGuadalaviar,andobserveatalittledistancefromthe

furtherbank,nearthathamlet,consistingofnineorten

tenements,ahousewithfoursmallturrets;thatismymansion.

Thedeuceandall!stammeredoutmysecretary,short-breathed

withsuddenadmiration:why,thathouseisoneoftheprettiest

thingsinnature.Besidesthecastellatedairwhichthoseturrets

giveit,allthebeautiesofsituationandarchitecture,

fertilityofsoil,andperfectionoflandscape,combinetorival

orexceltheimmediateneighbourhoodofSeville,complimentedas

itisforitspicturesqueattractionsbytheappellationofan

earthlyparadise.Hadwechosentheplaceofoursettlementfor

ourselves,itcouldnothavebeenmoretomytaste:ariver

meandersthroughthegrounds,distillingplentyandverdurefrom

itsfertilizingbosom;theleafyhonoursofanumbrageouswood

invitethemid-daywalk,andqualifythetemperatureofthe

seasons.Whataheavenlyabodeofsolitudeandcontemplation!Ah!

mydearmaster,weshallactveryfoolishlyifweareinahurry

torunawayfromourhappiness.Iamdelighted,answeredI,that

youaresowellsatisfiedwiththeretreatprovidedforus,

thoughyetacquaintedwithonlyasmallpartofitsattractions.

Aswewerechattinginthisstrain,wegotnearerandnearerto

thehouse,wherethedooropened,asbymagic,themomentScipio

announcedSignorGilBlasdeSantillane,whowascomingtotake

possessionofhisestate.Atthementionofthisname,received

withreverentialhomagebythepeoplewhohadbeeninstructedin

thetransferoftheirobedience,mycarriagewasadmittedintoa

largecourt,whereIalighted;thenleaningwithallmyweight

uponScipio,asifwalkingwasaderogationfrommydignity,and

puttingonthegreatmanafterthemostconsequentialmodels,I

reachedthehall,where,onmyentrance,sevenoreightservants

madetheirobeisances.Theytoldmetheywerecometowelcome

theirnewmasterwiththeirbestlovesandduties:thatDon

CaesarandDonAlphonsodeLeyvahadchosenthemtofarmmy

establishment,oneinqualityofcook,anotherasunder-cook,a

thirdasscullion,afourthasporter,andtherestasfootmen;

withanexpressinjunctiontoreceivenowagesorperquisites,as

thosetwonoblemenmeanttodefrayalltheexpensesofmy

household.Thecook,MasterJoachimbyname,wascommander-in-chiefofthisbattalion,andannouncedtomethewholearrayof

thecampaign;hedeclaredthathehadlaidinalargestockof

thechoicestwinesinSpain,andinsinuatedthatforthesolid

supplyofthetable,heflatteredhimselfapersonofhis

educationandexperience,whohadbeensixyearsattheheadof

myLordArchbishopofValencia’skitchen,mustknowhowtodish

upadinnersoastomeettheideasofthemostfastidiouslayman

inChristendom.Buttheproofofthepuddingisintheeating,

addedhe;soIwilljustgoandgiveyouaspecimenofmytalent.

Youhadbettertakeawalk,mylord,whiledinnerisgetting

ready:lookaboutthepremises;andseewhetheryoufindthemin

tenantableconditionforapersonofyourlordship’sdignity.

ThereadermayguesswhetherIdidnotstirmystumps;and

Scipio,stillmoreeagerthanmyselftotakeabird’seye

inventoryofourgoodsandchattels,draggedmebackandfore

fromroomtoroom.Therewasnotacornerofthehousethatwe

didnotpeepinto,fromthegarrettothecellar:notaclosetor

acranny,atleastaswesupposed,couldescapeourprying

curiosity;andineveryfreshroomwewentinto,Ihadoccasion

toadmirethekindnessofDonCaesarandhissontowardsme.I

wasstruck,amongotherthings,withtwoapartments,whichwere

aselegantlyfurnishedastheycouldbe,withoutmisplaced

magnificence.Oneofthemwashungwithtapestry,thecelebrated

manufactureoftheLowCountries;thevelvetbedandchairswere

stillveryhandsome,thoughinthefashionofthetimewhenthe

MoorspossessedthekingdomofValencia.Thefurnitureofthe

otherroomwasinthesametaste;towit,anoldsuitof

hangings,madeofyellowGenoadamask,withabedandarm-chairs

tomatch,fringedwithbluesilk.Alltheseeffects,whichwould

havefurnishedbutasorrydisplayinanupholsterer’sshop,made

nocontemptibleappearanceintheirpresentsituation.

Afterhavingrummagedovereveryarticleoftheparaphernalia,my

secretaryandmyselfreturnedtothedining-room,wherethecloth

waslaidfortwo;wesatdown;andinaninstanttheyservedup

sodeliciousanollapodrida,thatwecouldnothelprevolvingon

thevariousturnsofthefatebelowwhichhadpartedthegood

ArchbishopofValenciafromhiscook.Wehadintruthamost

catholicandravenousappetite;acircumstancewhichaddednew

zesttoourpraisesandenjoyments.Betweeneverysucceedinghelp

myservants,withallthealacrityoffreshandholidayservice,

filledourlargeglassestothebrimwithwine,thechoicest

vintageofLaMancha.Scipio,notthinkingitgenteeltoexpress

aloudtheinwardchucklingsofhisheartatourdaintyfare,

winkedandnoddedhisdelight,andspokebysigns,whichI

returnedwiththelikedumbeloquenceofoverflowing

satisfaction.Theremovewasadishofroastquails,flankinga

littleleveretinhighorder,justkeptlongenough;forthiswe

leftourhash,goodasitwas,andgorgedourselvestoasurfeit

onthegame.Whenwehadeatenasifwehadnevereatenbefore,

andpledgedoneanotherindueproportion,werosefromtableand

wentintothegardentolookoutforsomecool,pleasantspot,

andtakeourafternoon’snapvoluptuously.

Ifhithertomysecretaryhadgoggledsatisfactionatwhathehad

seen,hestaredwiderandgrinnedbroaderatthisvistavisionof

thegarden.Hescarcelyallowedthecomparisontobeinfavourof

theEscurial.ThereasonofitsextremenicenesswasthatDon

Caesar,whocamebackwardsandforwardstoLirias,tookpleasure

inimprovingandornamentingit.Allthewalkswellgravelledand

linedwithorangetrees,alargereservoirofwhitemarble,with

alioninbronzespoutingwaterlikeadolphin’sdeputyinthe

middle,thebeautyoftheflowerborders,theprofusionand

varietyofthefruittrees;suchprettyparticularsasthesemade

Scipiosmackhislipsandsnufftheair;buthisrapturesreached

theirsummitatthegradualdescentofalongwalk,leadingto

thebailiff’scottage,andover-archedbytheinterwovenboughs

ofthetreesplantedoneachside.Whileeulogizingaplaceso

welladaptedforarefugefromtheintensenessoftheheat,we

madeahalt,andsatdownatthefootofanelm,wheresleep

requiredverylittlecunningtoentangletwohigh-fed,half-tipsy

blades,justrisenfromsovoluptuousandvoraciousarepast.

Inabouttwohourswewerestartledoutofoursleepbythe

reportofmusketry,poppingsonearthehead-quartersofour

reposethatweapprehendedthecamptobeattacked.Onthealert!

wasthefirstideathatinvadedourdozingminds.Thatwemight

procurethemostauthenticintelligence,inwhatdirectionthe

enemywasapproaching,wedirectedourmarchtowardsthe

bailiff’stenement.Therewerecollectedeightorten

clodhoppers,allfriendsandneighbours,assembledonthegreen

forthepurposeofhonouringmyarrival,justcommunicatedtothe

vacantsensesofthesaidclodhoppers,byadischargeoffire-arms,whosebarrelsandfurnituremightthankmefortheunusual

favourofathoroughcleaning.Thegreaterpartofthemwere

acquaintedwithmyperson,havingseenmemorethanonceatthe

castle,whileengagedinthebusinessofmystewardship.No

soonerdidtheyseteyesonme,thantheyallshoutedinunison:

Longlifetoournewlordandmaster!welcometoLirias!Then

theyloadedonceagain,andfiredanothervolleyinhonourofthe

occasion.Myhabitsandmannersweresofteneddowntothemost

condescendingurbanity,thoughwithadecorousinfusionof

distance,lestanydegradingconstructionsmightheputupontoo

unlimitedafreedomofaddress.Withrespecttomyprotection,I

promiseditaccordingtothecustomarycharterofnewly-installed

possessors;andwentsofarastothrowthemapurseoftwenty

pistoles:andthis,inmyopinion,wasthepointofallothersin

myconductwhichtouchedtheirheartsmostnearly.Afterthis

benefaction,Ileftthematlibertytowasteasmuchpowderas

theypleased,andwithdrewwithmysecretaryintothewood,where

wewalkedtoandfrotillnight-fall,withoutbeingatalltired

ofourruralprospect:somanycharmshadtheviewofa

landscape,heightenedbythesubstantialbeautiesofownershipin

fee-simple,toourelevatedanddelightedimaginations.

Thecook,theunder-cook,andthescullionwerenotrestingupon

theiroarsallthistime:theywereworkinghardtofitupforus

anartificeofbellytimbermoremagnificentthatwhatwehad

alreadydemolished;sothatwewereoverheadandearsin

amazement,whenonourreturntotheroomwherewehaddined,we

sawonthetableadishoffourroastpartridges,witha

smotheredrabbitononeside,andafricasseedcapononthe

other.Thesecondcourseconsistedofpigs’ears,juggedgame,

andchocolatecream.Wedrankdeeplyofthemostdeliciouswines,

andbegantothinkofgoingtobed,whenitbecameamatterof

doubtwhetherwecouldsitupanylonger.Thenmypeople,with

lightedcandlesbeforeme,ledthewaytothebestbed-room,

wheretheywereallmostofficiousinassistingtoundressme:

butwhentheyhadtenderedmemygownandnightcap,Idismissed

themwithanauthoritativeundulationofmyhand,signifyingthat

theirservicesweredispensedwithfortheremainderofthat

night.

ThusIsentthemallabouttheirbusiness,keepingScipiofora

littleprivateconferencebetweenourselves;andIledtoitby

askinghimwhathethoughtofmyreception,asarrangedbyorder

ofmynoblepatrons.Indeedandindeed,answeredhe,thehuman

heartcouldnotdeviseanythingmoredelicious.Ionlywishwe

maygoonaswehavebegun.Ihavenowishofthekind,replied

I:itiscontrarytomyprinciplestoallowthatmybenefactors

shouldputthemselvestosomuchexpenseonmyaccount;itwould

beadownrightfraudupontheirbenevolence.Besides,Icould

neverfeelmyselfathomewithservantsinthepayofother

people;itisjustlikelivinginalodgingoraninn.Thenitis

toberemembered,thatIdidnotcomehithertoliveuponso

expensiveascale.Whatoccasionhaveweforsolargean

establishmentofservants?Ourutmostwant,withBertrand,isa

cook,ascullion,andafootman.Thoughmysecretarywouldnot

havebeenatallsorrytotableforacontinuanceatthegovernor

ofValencia’sexpense,hedidnotopposehisownluxurioustaste

tomymoraldelicacy,butconformedatoncetomysentiments,and

approvedthereductionIwasmeditatingtointroduce.Thatpoint

beingdecided,heleftmychamber,andbetookhimselftohis

pillowinhisown.

CH.IV.—AjourneytoValencia,andavisittothelordsof

Leyva.Theconversationofthegentlemen,andSeraphina’s

demeanour.

IGOTmyclothesoffassoonaspossible,andwenttobed,where,

findingnogreatinclinationtosleep,Icommunedwithmyown

thoughts.ThemutualattachmentbetweenthelordsofLeyvaand

myselfwasuppermostinthevarioustopicsofmycontemplation.

Withmyheartfulloftheirlatekindness,Ideterminedon

settingoutfortheirresidencethenextday,andquenchingmy

impatiencetothankthemfortheirfavours.Neitherwasita

slendergratificationtoanticipateanotherinterviewwith

Seraphina;thoughtherewassomewhatofalloyinthatpleasure:

itwasimpossibletoreflectwithoutshuddering,thatIshouldat

thesametimehavetoencountertheglancesofDameLorenza

Sephora,whomightnotbegreatlydelightedattherenewalofour

acquaintance,shouldhermemoryhappentostumbleuponthe

circumstancesconnectedwithacertainboxontheear.Withmy

mindexhaustedbyallthesedifferentsuggestions,myeyelidsat

lengthclosed,andthesunhadpeepedinatmywindowlongbefore

theyturnedupontheirhinges.

Iwassoonoutofbed;anddressedmyselfwithallpossible

expedition,intheearnestdesireofprosecutingmyintended

journey.JustasIhadfinishedmyhastyoperations,mysecretary

cameintotheroom.Scipio,saidI,youbeholdamanonthepoint

ofsettingoutforValencia.Ioughttolosenotimeinpayingmy

respectstothosenoblementowhomIamindebtedformylittle

independence.Everymomentofdelayintheperformanceofthis

dutythrowsanewweightofingratitudeonmyconscience.Asfor

you,myfriend,thereisnonecessityforyourattendance;stay

hereduringmyabsence;Ishallcomebacktoyouwithinthespace

ofaweek.Heavenspeedyou,sir!answeredhe—besureyoudo

notslightDonAlphonsoandhisfather—theyseemtometo

thrillwiththekindlyvibrationsoffriendship,andtobe

unboundedintheiracknowledgmentofobligation:gratitudeand

benevolencearesouncommoninpeopleofrank,thattheydeserve

tobemadethemostofwherefound.IsentamessagetoBertrand,

toholdhimselfinreadinessforsettingout,andtookmy

chocolatewhilehewasharnessingthemules.Whenallwas

prepared,Igotintomycarriage,afterhavingdirectedmypeople

toconsidermysecretaryasmasterofthehouseinmyabsence,

andtoobeyhisordersasiftheyweremyown.

IgottoValenciainlessthanfourhours,anddroveatonceto

thegovernor’sstables,whereIalightedandleftmyequipage.On

goingtothehouse,IwasinformedthatDonCaesarandhisson

weretogether.Ididnotwaitforanintroduction,butwentin

withoutceremony;andaddressingmyselftobothofthem,

Servants,saidI,neversendintheirnamestotheirmasters;

hereisanoldpieceoffamilyfurniture,notornamentalindeed,

butofafashionwhengratitudewasneitheroutofdatenorout

ofcountenance.Thesewordswereaccompaniedwithaneffortto

throwmyselfonmyknees;buttheyanticipatedmypurpose,and

embracedmeoneaftertheotherwithallpossibleevidenceof

sincereaffection.Well,then,mydearSantillane,saidDon

Alphonso,youhavebeenatLiriastotakepossessionofyour

littleproperty.Yes,mylord,answeredI;andmynextrequest

is,thatyouwouldbepleasedtotakeitbackagain.Whatisyour

reasonforthat?repliedhe.Isthereanythingaboutitatall

offensivetoyourtaste?Notintheplaceitself,rejoinedI:on

thecontrary,thatiseverythingthatmyheartcanwish;theonly

faultIhavetofindwithitis,thatthekitchensmellstoo

stronglyofthehierarchy;alayChristianshouldnotlivelike

anarchbishop;besidesthat,therearethreetimesasmany

servantsasarenecessary,andconsequentlyyouareputtoan

expenseatonceenormousanduseless.

Hadyouacceptedtheannuityoftwothousandducatswhichwe

offeredyouatMadrid,saidDonCaesar,weshouldhavethoughtit

enoughtogiveyouthemansionfurnishedasitis:butyouknow,

yourefusedit;andwefeltitbutrighttodowhatwehavedone

asanequivalent.Yourbountyhasbeentoolavish,answeredI:

thegiftoftheestatewastheutmostlimittowhichitshould

havebeenextended,andthatwasmorethansufficienttocrownmy

largestwishes.Buttosaynothingaboutwhatithascostyouto

keepupsogreatandexpensiveanestablishment,Ideclaretoyou

mostsolemnlythatthesepeoplestandinmyway,andareagreat

annoyance.Inoneword,gentlemen,eithertakebackyourboon,or

givemeleavetoenjoyitinmyownway.Ipronouncedtheselast

wordssomuchasifIwasinearnest,thatthefatherandson,

notmeaningtolaymeunderanyunpleasantrestraint,atlength

gavemetheirpermissiontomanagemyhouseholdasitshouldseem

expedienttomybetterjudgment.

Iwasthankingthemverykindlyforhavinggrantedmethat

privilege,withoutwhichadukedomwouldhavebeenbutsplendid

slavery,whenDonAlphonsointerruptedmebysaying:MydearGil

Blas,Iwillintroduceyoutoaladywhowillbeextremelyhappy

toseeyou.Thuspreparingmefortheinterview,hetookmeby

thehandandledthewaytoSeraphinasapartment,whosetupa

screamofjoyonrecognizingme.Madam,saidthegovernor,I

flattermyselfthatthevisitofourfriendSantillaneat

Valenciaisnotlessacceptabletoyouthanmyself.Onthathead,

answeredshe,hemayrestconfidentlyassured;timehasnot

obliteratedtheremembranceoftheservicewhichheoncerendered

meandtothatmustbeaddedanewdebtofgratitudeincurredon

thescoreofyourobligations.Itoldthegovernor’sladythatI

wasalreadytoowellrequitedforthedangerwhichIhadshared

incommonwithherdeliverers,inexposingmylifeforhersake:

complimentstothelikeeffectwerebandiedaboutforsometime

onbothsides,whenDonAlphonsomotionedtoquitSeraphina’s

room.WethenwentbacktoDonCaesar,whomwefoundinthe

saloonwithafashionableparty,whowerecometodinner.

Allthesegentlemanwereintroduced,andpaidtheircompliments

tomeinthepolitestmanner;nordidtheirattentionsrelaxin

assiduity,whenDonCaesartoldthemthatIhadbeenoneofthe

DukeofLerma’sprincipalsecretaries.Inalllikelihoodseveral

ofthemmightnotbeunacquaintedthatDonAlphonsohadbeen

promotedtothegovernmentofValenciabymyinterest,for

politicalsecretsareseldomkept.Howeverthatmightbe,while

wewereattable,theconversationprincipallyturnedonthenew

cardinal.Someofthecompanyeitherwere,oraffectedtobe,his

unqualifiedadmirers,whileothersallowedhismerituponthe

whole,butthoughtithadbeenratheroverrated.Iplainlysaw

throughtheirdesignofdrawingmeontoenlargeonthesubject

ofhiseminence,andtogratifytheirtasteforscandalwith

courtanecdotesathisexpense.Icouldhavebeenwellenough

pleasedtohavedeliveredmyrealsentimentsonhischaracter,

butIkeptmytonguewithinmyteeth,andtherebypassedinthe

estimationoftheguestsforaclose,confidential,politic,

trustworthyyoungstatesman.

Thepartyrespectivelyretiredhomeafterdinnertotaketheir

usualnap,whatDonCaesarandhisson,yieldingtoasimilar

inclination,shutthemselvesupintheirapartments.

Formyownpart,fullofimpatiencetoseeatownwhichIhadso

oftenheardextolledforitsbeauty,Iwentoutofthegovernor’s

palacewiththeintentionofwalkingthroughthestreets.Atthe

gateamanaccostedmewiththefollowingaddress:WillSignorde

Santillaneallowmetotakethelibertyofpayingmyrespectsto

him?Iaskedhimwhoandwhathewas.IamDonCaesar’svalet-de-chambre,answeredhe,butwasoneofhisordinaryfootmenduring

yourstewardship;Iusedtomakemycourttoyoueverymorning,

andyouusedtotakeagreatdealofnoticeofme.Iregularly

gaveyouintelligenceofwhatwaspassinginthehouse.Doyou

recollectmyapprisingyouonedaythatthevillagesurgeonof

LeyvawasprivatelyadmittedintoDameLorenzaSephora’s

bedchamber?ItisacircumstancewhichIhavebynomeans

forgotten,repliedI.Butnowthatwearetalkingofthat

formidableduenna,whatisbecomeofher?Alas!resumedhe,the

poorcreaturemopedanddwindledafteryourdeparture,andat

lengthgaveuptheghost,moretothegriefofSeraphinathanof

DonAlphonso,whoseemedtoconsiderherdeathasnogreatevil.

DonCaesar’svalet-de-chambre,havingthusacquaintedmewith

Sephora’smelancholyend,madeanhumbleapologyforhaving

presumedtostopmywalk,andthenleftmetocontinuemy

progress.Icouldnothelppayingthetributeofasightothe

memoryofthatill-fatedduenna;andherdeceaseaffectedmethe

more,becauseItaxedmyselfwiththatmelancholycatastrophe,

thoughamoment’sreflectionwouldhaveconvincedme,thatthe

graveoweditspreciouspreytotheinroadsofhercancerrather

thantothecruelcharmsofmyperson.

Ilookedwithaneyeofpleasureuponeverythingworthnoticein

thetown.Thearchbishop’smarblepalacefeastedmyeyeswithall

themagnificenceofarchitecture;norwerethepiazzaswhich

surroundedtheexchangemuchinferiorincommercialgrandeur;but

alargebuildingatadistance,withagreatcrowdstanding

beforethedoors,attractedallmyattention.Iwentnearer,to

ascertainthereasonwhysogreataconcourseofbothsexeswas

collected,andwassoonletintothesecretbyreadingthe

followinginscriptioninlettersofgoldonatabletofblack

marbleoverthedoor:LaPosadadelosRepresentantes[The

theatre].Theplaybillsannouncedforthatdayanewtragedy,

neverperformed,andgavethenameofDonGabrielTriaqueroas

theauthor.

CH.V.—GilBlasgoestotheplay,andseesanewtragedy.The

successofthepiece.ThepublictasteatValencia.

ISTOPPEDforsomeminutesbeforethedoor,tomakemyremarkson

thepeoplewhoweregoingin.Thereweresomeofallsortsand

sizes.Herewasaknotofgenteel-lookingfellows,whosetailors

atleasthaddonejusticetotheirfashionablepretensions;there

amobofill-favouredandill-manneredmortals,inagarbto

identifyvulgarity.Totherightwasabevyofnobleladies,

alightingfromtheircarriagestotakepossessionoftheir

privateboxes;totheleftatribeoffemaletradersin

lubricity,whocametoselltheirwaresinthelobby.Thismixed

concourseofspectators,asvariousintheirmindsasintheir

faces,gavemeanitchinginclinationtoincreasetheirnumber.

JustasIwastakingmycheck,thegovernorandhisladydrove

up.Theyspiedmeoutinthecrowd,andhavingsentforme,took

mewiththemtotheirbox,whatIplacedmyselfbehindthem,in

suchapositionastoconverseatmyeasewitheither.

Thetheatrewasfilledwithspectatorsfromtheceiling

downwards,thepitthrongedalmosttosuffocation,andthestage

crowdedwithknightsofthethreemilitaryorders.Hereisafull

house!saidItoDonAlphonso.Youarenottoconsiderthatas

anythingextraordinary,answeredhe;thetragedynowabouttobe

producedisfromthepenofDonGabrielTriaquero,themost

fashionabledramaticwriterofhisday.Whenevertheplaybill

announcesanynoveltyfromthisfavouriteauthor,thewholetown

ofValenciaisinabustle.Themenaswellasthewomentalk

incessantlyonthesubjectofthepiece:alltheboxesaretaken;

and,onthefirstnightofperformance,thereisariskofbroken

limbsingettingin,thoughthepriceofadmissionisdoubled,

withtheexceptionofthepit,whichistooauthoritativeapart

ofthehousefortheproprietorstotamperwithitspatience.

Whataparoxysmofpartiality!saidItothegovernor.Thiseager

curiosityofthepublic,thishot-headedimpatiencetobepresent

atthefirstrepresentationofDonGabriel’spieces,givesmea

magnificentideaofthatpoet’sgenius.

Atthisperiodofourconversationthecurtainrose.We

immediatelyleftofftalking,tofixourwholeattentiononthe

stage.Theapplauseswererapturousevenattheprologue:asthe

performanceadvanced,everysentimentandsituation,nay,almost

everylineofthepiececalledforthaburstofacclamation;and

attheendofeachacttheclappingofhandswassoloudand

incessant,asalmosttobringthebuildingaboutourears.After

thedroppingofthecurtain,theauthorwaspointedouttome,

goingaboutfromboxtobox,andwithallthemodestyofa

successfulpoet,submittinghisheadtotheimpositionofthose

laurels,whichthegenteeler,andespeciallythefairerpartof

theaudiencehadpreparedforhiscoronation.

Wereturnedtothegovernor’spalace,whereweweremetbya

partyofthreeorfourgentlemen.Besidesthesemereamateurs,

thereweretwoveteranauthorsofconsiderableeminenceintheir

line,andagentlemanofMadridwithtolerablyfairclaimsto

criticalauthorityandjudgmentTheyhadallbeenattheplay.

Thenewpiecewastheonlytopicofconversationduringsupper-time.Gentlemen,saidaknightofStJames,whatdoyouthinkof

thistragedy?Hasitnoteveryclaimtothecharacterofa

finishedwork?Thoughtsthatbreathe,andwordsthatburn,ahand

totouchthetruechordsofpity,andsweepthelyreofpoetry;

requisiteshowrarely,andyethowadmirablyunited!Inaword,

itistheperformanceofapersonmixinginthehighercirclesof

society.Therecanbenopossibledifferenceofopiniononthat

subject,saidaknightofAlcantara.Thepieceisfullofstrokes

whichApollohimselfmighthaveaimed,andofperplexities

contrivedsothatnonebuttheauthorhimselfcouldhave

unravelledthem.Iappealtothatacuteandingeniousstranger,

addedhe,addressinghisdiscoursetotheCastiliangentleman;he

lookstomelikeagoodjudge,andIwilllayawagerthatheis

onmysideofthequestion.Takecarehowyoustakeonan

uncertainty,myworthyknight,answeredthegentlemanwitha

sarcasticsmile.Iamnotofyourprovincialschool;wedonot

passourjudgmentsohastilyatMadrid.Farfromsentencinga

pieceonitsfirstrepresentation,wearejealousofitsapparent

meritwhileaidedbyscenicdeception;ourfanciesandour

feelingsmaybecarriedawayforthemoment,butourserious

decisionissuspendedtillwehavereadthework;andthemost

commonresultofitsappealtothepressisadefalcationfrom

itspowersofpleasingonthestage.

Thusyouperceive,pursuedhe,thatitisourpracticetoexamine

aworkofgeniuscloselybeforewestamponitthemarkofa

stockpiece:itsauthor’sfame,letitringasloudlyasitmay,

canneverconfoundourexactnessofdiscrimination.WhenLopede

VegahimselforCalderonaventuredontheboards,they

encounteredrigidcritics,thoughinanaudiencewhichdotedon

them:criticswhowouldnotsigntheirpassporttotheregionsof

immortalitytilltheyhadsiftedtheirclaimstobeadmitted

there.

Thatisalittletoomuch,interruptedtheknightofStJames.We

arenotquitesocautiousasyou.Itisnotourcustomtowait

fortheprintingofapieceinordertodecideonitsreputation.

Bytheveryfirstperformanceitsinksorswims.Itdoesnoteven

seemnecessarytobeinconvenientlyattentivetothebusinessof

thestage.Itissufficientthatweknowitforaproductionof

DonGabriel,tobepersuadedthatitcombineseveryexcellence.

Theworksofthatpoetmayjustlybeconsideredascommencinga

newera,andfixingthecriterionofgoodtaste.Theschoolof

LopeandCalderonawasthemerecartofThespis,comparedwith

thepolishedscenesofthisgreatdramaticmaster.Thegentleman,

wholookeduptoLopeandCalderonaastheSophoclesand

EuripidesoftheSpaniards,couldnoteasilybebroughtto

acknowledgesuchwildcanonsofcriticism.Thisisdramatic

heresywithavengeance!exclaimedhe.Sinceyoucompelme,

gentlemen,todecidelikeyouonthefallaciousevidenceofa

firstnight,ImusttellyouthatIamnotatallsatisfiedwith

thisnewtragedyofyourDonGabriel.Asapoemitaboundsmore

withglitteringconceitsthanwithpassagesofpathosor

delineationsofnature.Theverses,threeoutoffour,are

defectiveeitherinmeasureorrhyme;thecharacters,clumsily

imaginedorincongruouslysupported;andthethoughtshaveoften

theobscurityofariddlewithoutitsingenuity.

Thetwoauthorsattable,who,withaprudenceequally

commendableandunusual,hadsaidnothingforfearoflyingunder

theimputationofjealousy,couldnothelpassentingtothelast

speaker’sopinionsbytheirlooks;whichwarrantedmein

concludingthattheirsilencewaslessowingtotheperfectionof

theworkthantothedictatesofpersonalpolicy.Asforthe

militarycritics,theygottotheiroldtopicofringingthe

changesonDonGabriel,andexaltedhimtoalevelwiththe

under-tenantsofOlympus.Thisextravagantassociationwiththe

demi-gods,thisblindandstiff-neckedidolatry,divorcedthe

Castilianfromhislittlestockofpatience,sothat,raisinghis

handstoheaven,hebrokeoutabruptlyintoavolleyof

enthusiasm:OdivineLopedeVega,sublimeandunrivalledgenius,

whohasleftanimmeasurablespacebetweentheeandallthe

Gabrielswhowouldlighttheirtapersfromthybrighteffulgence!

andthou,mellow,soft-voicedCalderona,whoseeleganceand

sweetness,rejectingbuskinedrantandtragicswell,reignwith

undisputedswayovertheaffections,fearnot,eitherofyou,

lestyouraltarsshouldbeoverturnedbythistongue-tied

nurselingofthemuses!Itwillbetheutmostofhisrenown,if

posterity,beforewhoseeyesyourworksshallliveindailyview,

andformtheirdeardelight,shallenrolhisname,as.matterof

historyandcuriousrecord,onthelistofobsoleteauthors.

Thisanimatedapostrophe,forwhichthecompanywasnotatall

prepared,raisedaheartylaugh,afterwhichweallrosefrom

tableandwithdrew.AnapartmenthadbeengotreadyformebyDon

Alphonso’sorder,whereIfoundagoodbed;andmylordship,

lyingdowninluxuriousweariness,wenttosleepuponthetagof

theCastiliangentleman’simpassionedvindication,anddreamed

mostcrustilyoftheinjusticedonetoLopeandCalderonaby

ignorantpretenders.

CH.VI.—GilBlas,walkingaboutthestreetsofValencia,meets

withamanofsanctity,whosepiousfacehehasseensomewhere

else.Whatsortofmanthismanofsanctityturnsouttobe.

AsIhadnotbeenabletocompletemyviewofthecityonthe

precedingday,Igotupbetimesinthemorningwiththeintention

oftakinganotherwalk.InthestreetIremarkedaCarthusian

friar,whodoubtlesswasthusearlyinmotiontopromotethe

interestsofhisorder,Hewalkedwithhiseyesfixedonthe

ground,andagaitsoholyandcontemplative,astoinspireevery

passengerwithreligiousawe.Hispathwasinthesamedirection

asmine,Ilookedathimwithmorethanordinarycuriosity,and

couldnothelpfancyingitwasDonRaphael,thatmanofshifts

andexpedients,whohasalreadysecuredsohonourableanichein

thetempleoffame.(SeeBooksI.toVI.ofmyMemoirs.)

Iwassoutterlyastonished,sothrownoffmybalancebythis

meeting,thatinsteadofaccostingthemonk,Iremained

motionlessforsomeseconds,whichgavehimtimetogetthestart

ofme.Justheaven!saidI,werethereevertwofacesmore

exactlyalike?Idonotknowwhattomakeofit!Itseems

incrediblethatRaphaelshouldturnupinsuchaguise!Andyet

howisitpossibletobeanyoneelse!Ifelttoogreata

curiositytogetatthetruthnottopursuetheinquiry.Having

ascertainedthewaytothemonasteryoftheCarthusians,I

repairedthitherimmediately,inthehopeofcomingacrossthe

objectofmysearchonhisreturn,andwiththefullintentof

stoppingandparleyingwithhim.Butitwasquiteunnecessaryto

waitforhisarrivaltoenlightenmymindonthesubject:on

reachingtheconventgate,anotherphysiognomy,suchasfew

personshadreadwithoutpayingfortheirlesson,resolvedallmy

doubtsintocertainty;forthefriarwhoservedinthecapacity

ofporterwasunquestionablymyoldandgodly-visagedservant,

AmbrosedeLamela.

Oursurprisewasequalonbothsidesatmeetingagaininsucha

place.Isnotthisaplayuponthesenses?saidI,payingmy

complimentstohim.Isitactuallyoneofmyfriendswhopresents

himselftomyastonishedsight?Hedidnotknowmeagainat

first,orprobablymightpretendnottodoso;butreflecting

withinhimselfthatitwasinvaintodenyhisownidentity,he

assumedthestartofamanwhoallatoncehitsupona

circumstancewhichhadhithertoescapedhisrecollection,Ah,

SignorGilBlas!exclaimedhe,excusemynotrecognizingyour

personimmediately.SinceIhavelivedinthisholyplace,every

facultyofmysoulhasbeenabsorbedintheperformanceofthe

dutiesprescribedbyourrules,sothatbydegreesIlosethe

remembranceofallworldlyobjectsandevents.

Afteraseparationoftenyears,saidI,itgivesmemuch

pleasuretofindyouagaininsovenerableagarb.Formypart,

answeredhe,itfillsmewithshameandconfusiontoappearinit

beforeamanwhohasbeenaneye-witnessofmyguiltycourses.

Theseghostlyweedsareatoncethecharmofmypresentlife,and

thecondemnationofmyformer.Alas!addedhe,heavinga

righteoussigh,tobeworthyofwearingit,myearlieryears

shouldhavebeenpassedinprimitiveinnocence.Bythis

discourse,sorationalandedifying,repliedI,itisplain,my

dearbrother,thatthefingeroftheLordhasbeenuponyou,that

youaremarkedoutforavesselofsanctification.Itellyou

onceagain,Iamdelightedatit,andwouldgivetheworldto

knowinwhatmiraculousmanneryouandRaphaelwereledintothe

pathoftherighteous;forIampersuadedthatitwashisown

selfwhomImetinthetown,habitedasaCarthusian.Iwas

extremelysorryafterwardsnottohavestoppedandspokentohim

inthestreet;andIamwaitingheretoapologizeformyneglect

onhisreturn.

Youwerenotmistaken,saidLamela,itwasDonRaphaelhimself

whomyousaw;andasfortheparticularsofourconversion,they

areasfollow:AfterpartingwithyounearSegorba,westruck

intotheValenciaroad,withthedesignofbetteringourtradeby

somenewspeculation.Chanceordestinyonedayledoursteps

intothechurchoftheCarthusians,whileservicewasperforming

inthechoir.Thedemeanourofthebrethrenattractedournotice,

andweexperiencedinourownpersonstheinvoluntaryhomage

whichvicepaystovirtue.Weadmiredthefervourwithwhichthey

pouredforththeirdevotions,theirlooksofpiousmortification,

theirdeadnesstothepleasuresoftheworldandtheflesh,and

inthesettledcomposureoftheircountenances,theoutwardsign

ofanapprovingconsciencewithin.

Whilemakingtheseobservations,wefellintoatrainofthought

whichbecamelikemannatothehungryandthirstysoul:we

comparedourhabitsoflifewiththeemploymentsoftheseholy

men,andthewidedifferencebetweenourspiritualconditions

filleduswithconfusionandaffright.Lamela,saidDonRaphael,

aswewentoutofchurch,howdoyoustandaffectedbywhatwe

havejustseen?Formypart,thereisnodisguisingthetruth,my

mindisillatease.Emotions,newandindescribable,arerushing

uponmymind:and,forthefirsttimeinmylife,Ireproach

myselfwiththewickednessofmypastactions.Iamjustinthe

sametemperofsoul,answeredI;myiniquitiesarealldrawnup

inarrayagainstme,theybesetme,theystaremeintheface;my

heart,hithertoproofagainstallthearrowsofremorse,isat

thismomentshotthrough,tornanddisfigured,tormentedand

destroyed.Ah!mydearAmbrose,resumedmypartner,wearetwo

straysheep,whomourHeavenlyFather,inmercy,wouldleadback

gentlytothefold.Itishehimself,mychild,itishewho

warmsandguidesus.Letusnotbedeaftothecallofhisvoice;

letusabandonallourwickedcourses,letusbeginfromthisday

toworkoutoursalvationwithdiligenceandinthespiritof

repentance:wehadbetterspendtheremainderofourdaysinthis

convent,andconsecratethemtopenitenceanddevotion.

IapplaudedRaphael’ssentiment,continuedbrotherAmbrose;and

weformedthegloriousresolutionofbecomingCarthusians.To

carryitintoeffect,weappliedtothevenerableprior,whowas

nosoonermadeacquaintedwithourpurpose,thantoascertain

whetherourcallwasfronttheworldaboveortheworldbeneath,

heappointedustocells,andallthestrictnessofmonkish

discipline,forawholeyear.Weacteduptotheruleswithequal

regularityandfortitude,and,bywayofreward,wereadmitted

amongthenovices.Ourconditionwassomuchwhatwewishedit,

andourheartsweresofullofreligiouszeal,thatweunderwent

thetoilsofournoviciatewithunflinchingcourage.Whenthat

wasover,weprofessed;afterwhich,DonRaphael,appearing

admirablywellqualified,bothbynaturaltalentandvarious

experience,forthemanagementofsecularconcerns,waschosen

assistanttoanoldfriarwhowasatthattimeproctor.Theson

ofLucindawouldinfinitelyhavepreferreddedicatingevery

remainingmomentofhisexistencetoprayer;buthefoundit

necessarytosacrificehistastefordevotion,infurtheranceof

thegeneralprosperity.Heenteredwithsomuchzealand

knowledgeintotheinterestsofthehouse,thathewasconsidered

asthemosteligiblepersontosucceedtheoldproctor,whodied

threeyearsafterwards.DonRaphaelaccordinglyfillsthatoffice

atpresent;anditmaybetrulysaidthathedischargeshisduty

totheentiresatisfactionofallourfathers,whopraiseinthe

highesttermshisconductintheadministrationofour

temporalities.Whatismostofallmiraculous,andshewsthehand

ofheaveninhisconversion,isthat,withsuchanaccumulation

ofbusinessrushinginuponhiminhisbursarialdepartment,his

regardsareinalienablyfixedontheworldtocome.Whenbusiness

leaveshimbutamomenttorecruitnature,insteadoflavishing

theshortperiodinindulgence,histhoughtswingtheirwayinto

theregionsofdevoutandholymeditation.Inshort,heisthe

mostexemplarymemberofthisbody.

AtthisperiodofourconversationIinterruptedLamelabyan

ebullitionofjoytowhichIgaveventatthesightofRaphael

comingin.Hereheis!exclaimedI:beholdthatrighteousbursar

forwhomIhavebeensoimpatientlywaiting.Withaleapanda

bounddidIruntomeetandembracehim.Hesubmittedtothehug

withhisnewly-acquiredresignation;and,withoutbetrayingthe

slightestshockatmeetingwithanoldcompanionofhisprofaner

hours,hiswordsweredictatedbythespiritofgentlenessand

humility:Thepowersabovebepraised,SignordeSantillane,the

powersbepraisedforthiskindprovidencewherebywemeetagain.

Ingoodtruth,mydearRaphael,repliedI,yourhappydestiny

pleasesmeasmuchasifithadbeenmyowngoodluck;brother

Ambrosehastoldmethewholestoryofyourconversion,andthe

talealmostmovedmetoasimilarchange.Whatagloriouslotfor

youtwo,myfriends,whenyouhavereasontoflatteryourselves

withbeingamongthatpickednumberoftheelect,whohave

eternalhappinessthrustuponthemwhethertheywillorno!

Twomiserablesinnerslikeourselves,resumedthesonofLucinda,

withanairwhichmarkedtheextremeofsanctifiedmorality,must

nothopethatourownmeritsareofweightenoughtosaveour

souls;buteventhewickedonewhorepenteth,findethgracewith

theFatherofmercies.Andyou,SignorGilBlas,addedhe,isit

nottimetolayinaclaimforpardonoftheoffenceswhichyou

havecommitted?WhatisyourbusinesshereinValencia?Areyou

nothankeringaftersomeofficeofdevil’sdeputy,andmaking

shipwreckofyourvoyagetoanotherworld?Notso,bythe

blessingofheaven,answeredI;sinceIturnedmybackonthe

court,Ihaveledaverymoralsortoflife:sometimesenjoying

ruralrecreationsonanestateofmineatafewleaguesdistance

fromthistown,andsometimescominghithertopassmytimewith

myfriendthegovernor,whomyoubothofyoumustknowperfectly

well.

OnthiscueIrelatedtothemthestoryofDonAlphonsodeLeyva.

Theyheardtheparticularswithattention;andonmytellingthem

thatIhadcarriedtoSamuelSimon,onthepartofthatnobleman,

thethreethousandducatsofwhichwehadrobbedhim,Lamela

interruptedthethreadofmynarrative,andaddressinghis

discoursetoRaphael,said:FatherHilary,ifthisbetrue,the

honestvendorofwareshasnoreasontoquarrelwitharobbery

whichhaspaidhimfiftypercent;andourconsciences,asfaras

thatindictmentgoes,maybaskinthesunshineofacquitted

innocence.BrotherAmbroseandI,saidthebursar,didactually,

ontheassumptionofthehabit,sendSamuelSimonfifteenhundred

ducatsprivately,byapiousecclesiasticwhomadeapilgrimage

toXelvaforthesolepurposeofaccomplishingthisrestitution;

butitwillgohardwithSamuelatthegeneralreckoning,ifhe

forfilthylucrecouldsoilhisfingerswiththatsum,after

havingbeenreimbursedinfullbySignordeSantillane.But,said

I,howdoyouknowthatyourfifteenhundredducatswere

faithfullypaidintohishands?Unquestionablytheywere!

exclaimedDonRaphael;Iwouldanswerforthedisinterested

purityofthatecclesiasticassoonasformyown.Iwouldbe

yourcollateralsecurity,saidLamela;heisapriestofthe

strictestsanctity,asortofuniversalalmoner;andthoughmany

timescitedforsumsofmoney,depositedwithhimforcharitable

uses,hehasalwaysnonsuitedtheplaintiffandgoneoutofcourt

withanaugmentationofalms-givingnotoriety.

Ourconversationcontinuedforsometimelonger:atlengthwe

parted,withmanyapiousexhortationontheirside,alwaysto

havethefearoftheLordbeforemyeyes,andwithmanyan

earnestintreatyonmine,thattheywouldremembermeconstantly

intheirprayers.DonAlphonsowasnowthefirstobjectofmy

search.Youwillneverguess,saidI,withwhomIhavejusthada

longconference.IambutnowcomefromtwovenerableCarthusians

ofyouracquaintance;thenameoftheoneisfatherHilary,that

oftheother,brotherAmbrose.Youaremistaken,answeredDon

Alphonso;IamnotacquaintedwithasingleCarthusian.Pardon

me,repliedI;youhaveseenbrotherAmbroseatXelvainthe

capacityofcommissary,andfatherHilaryasregistertothe

Inquisition.Ohheaven!exclaimedthegovernorwithsurprise,can

itbewithintheboundsofpossibilitythatRaphaelandLamela

shouldhaveturnedCarthusians?Itisevenso,answeredI;they

professedseveralyearsago.Theformerisbursarandproctorto

theconvent;thelatter,porter.

ThesonofDonCaesarrubbedhisforeheadtwiceorthrice,then

shakinghisbead,TheseworshipfulofficersoftheInquisition,

saidhe,mostassuredlypurposeplayingovertheoldfarceona

newstagehere.Youjudgeofthembyprejudice,answeredI,from

theimpressionoftheircharactersasmenofsin:buthadyou

beenedifiedbytheirlecturesasIhavebeen,youwouldthink

morefavourablyoftheirholiness.Tobesure,itisnotfor

mortalmentofathomthedepthofothermen’shearts;buttoall

appearancetheyaretwoprodigalsreturnedhome.Itpossiblymay

beso,repliedDonAlphonso:therearemanyinstancesof

libertines,whohidetheirheadsincloisters,afterhaving

scandalizedhumannaturebytheirobliquities,toexpiatetheir

offencesbyaseverepenance:Iheartilywishthatourtwomonks

maybesuchlibertinesrestored.

Well!andwhynot?saidI.Theyhaveembracedthemonasticlife

oftheirownaccord,andhavesquaredtheirconductforalength

oftimeaccordingtothemaximsoftheirorder.Youmaysaywhat

youplease,retortedthegovernor;butIdonotlikethe

convent’srentsbeingreceivedbythisfatherHilary,ofwhomI

cannothelpentertainingaveryuntowardopinion.Whenthefine

storyhetoldusofhisadventurescomesacrossmymind,I

trembleforthereverendbrotherhood.Iamwillingtobelieve

withyou,thathehastakenthevowwiththepiousintentionof

keepingit;buttheblazeofgoldmaybetoomuchforthe

weaknessofhisregeneratedeyesight.Itisbadpolicytolock

upareformeddrunkardinawinecellar.

InthecourseofafewdaysDonAlphonso’smisgivingswerefully

justified;thesetwoofficialpropsandstaysofthe

establishmentranawaywiththeyear’srevenue.Thisnews,which

wasimmediatelynoisedaboutthetown,couldnotdootherwise

thansetthetonguesofthewitsinmotion;fortheyalwaysmake

themselvesmerryatthecrossesandlossesofthewell-endowed

religiousorders.Asforthegovernorandmyself,wecondoled

withtheCarthusians,butkeptouracquaintancewiththeapostate

pilferersinthebackground.

CH.VII.—GilBlasreturnstohisseatatLirias.Scipio’s

agreeableintelligence,andareforminthedomestic

arrangements.

IPASSEDaweekatValenciainthefirstcompany,livingonequal

termswiththebestofthenobility.Plays,balls,concerts,

granddinners,ladies’parties,allthingsthatheartcouldwish

orvanitygrowtallupon,wereprovidedformebythegovernor

andhislady,towhomIpaidmycourtsodexterously,thatthey

wereheartilysorrytoseemesetoutonmyreturntoLirias.

Theyevenobligedme,beforetheywouldletmego,toengagefor

adivisionofmytimebetweenthemandmyhermitage.Itwas

determinedthatIshouldspendthewinterinValencia,andthe

summeratmyseat.Afterthisbargain,mybenefactorsleftmeat

libertytotearmyselffromthem,andgowheretheirkindness

wouldbealwaysstaringmeintheface.

Scipio,whowaswaitingimpatientlyformyreturn,wasreadyto

jumpoutofhisskinforjoyatthesightofme;andhis

ecstasiesweredoubledatmycircumstantialaccountofthe

journey.Andnowforyourhistory,myfriend,saidI,taking

breath:towhatmoraluseshaveyouturnedthesolitaryperiodof

myabsence?Hasthetimepassedagreeably?Aswell,answeredhe,

asitcouldwithaservanttowhomnothingissodearasthe

presenceofhismaster.Ihavewalkedoverourlittledomain,

circuitouslyanddiagonally:sometimesseatedonthemarginofa

fountaininourwood,Ihavetakenpleasureinbeholdingthe

transparencyofitswaters,whichareaspellucidasthoseofthe

sacredspring,whoseprojectionfromtherockmadethevast

forestofAlbuneatoresoundwiththeroarofthecascade:

sometimeslyingatthefootofatree,Ihavelistenedtothe

songofthelinnetorthenightingale.AtothertimesIhave

huntedorfished;and,whathasgivenmemorerationaldelight

thanallthesepastimes,Ihavewhiledawaymanyaprofitable

hourintheimprovementofmymind.

Iinterruptedmysecretaryinatoneofeagerinquiry,toask

wherehehadprocuredbooks.Ifoundthem,saidhe,inanelegant

libraryhereinthehouse,whithermasterJoachimtookme.

Heyday!inwhatcorner,resumedI,canthissaidlibrarybe?Did

wenotgooverthewholebuildingonthedayofourarrival?You

fanciedso,rejoinedhe;butyouaretoknowthatweonly

exploredthreesidesofthesquare,andforgotthefourth.Itwas

therethatDonCaesar,whenhecametoLirias,employedpartof

histimeinreading.Thereareinthislibrarysomeverygood

books,leftasanever-failingphylacteryagainsttheblue

devils,whenourgardensdespoiledofFlora’streasure,andour

woodsoftheirleafyhonours,shallnolongerchallengethose

miscreantinvaderstocombatintheforestorthebower.The

lordsofLenahavenotdonethingsbyhalves,buthavecatered

forthemindaswellasforthebody.

Thisintelligencefilledmewithsincererapture.Iwasshewnto

thefourthsideofthesquare,andfeastedwithanintellectual

banquetDonCaesar’sroomIimmediatelydeterminedtomakemy

own.Thatnobleman’sbedwasstillthere,withcorrespondent

furniture,consistingofhistoricaltapestry,representingthe

rapeoftheSabinewomenbytheRomans.Fromthebedchamber,I

wentintoaclosetfittedupwithlowbookcaseswellfilled,and

overthemtheportraitsoftheSpanishkings.Nearawindow

whenceyoucommandaprospectofamostbewitchingcountry,there

wasanebonywriting-deskandalargesofa,coveredwithblack

morocco.ButIgavemyattentionprincipallytothelibrary.It

wascomposedofphilosophers,poets,historians;andaboundedin

romances.DonCaesarseemedtogivethepreferencetothatlight

reading,ifonemightjudgebytheprofusionofsupply.Imust

own,tomyshame,thatmytastewasnotatallabovethelevelof

thoseproductions,notwithstandingtheextravagancestheydelight

instringingtogether;whetheritwasowingtomynotbeinga

verycriticalreaderatthattime,orbecausetheSpaniardsare

naturallyaddictedtothemarvellous.Imustneverthelessplead

inmyownjustification,thatIwasalivetothecharmsofa

sprightlyandpopularmorality,andthatLucian,Horace,and

Erasmusbecamemyfavouriteandstandardauthors.

Myfriend,saidItoScipio,whenmyeyeshadcoursedovermy

library,hereiswherewithaltofeedandpamperourminds;but

ourpresentbusinessistoreformourhousehold.Onthatsubject

Icanspareyouagreatdealoftrouble,answeredhe.Duringyour

absenceIhavesiftedyourpeoplethoroughly,andflattermyself

itisnoemptyboasttosaythatIknowthem.Letusbeginwith

masterJoachim:Itakehimtobeasgreatascoundrelasever

breathed,andhavenodoubtbuthewasturnedawayfromthe

archbishop’sforerrorswhichweretoogreattobeexceptedin

thepassingofhisaccounts.Yetwemustkeephimfortwo

reasons:thefirst,becauseheisagoodcook;andthesecond,

becauseIshallalwayshaveaneyeoverhim;Ishallpeepinto

hisactionslikeajackdawintoamarrow-bone,andhemustbea

morecunningfellowthanItakehimfor,toevademyvigilance.I

havealreadytoldhimthatyouintendeddischargingthree-fourths

ofyourestablishment.Thisdeclarationstuckinhisstomach;and

heassuredmethat,owingtohisextremedesireoflivingwith

you,hewouldbesatisfiedwithhalfhispresentwagesrather

thanbeturnedoff,whichmademesuspectthathewastiedtothe

stringofsomepetticoatinthehamlet,anddidnotliketobreak

uphisquarters.Asfortheunder-cook,heisadrunkard,andthe

porterafoul-mouthedCerberus,ofwhoseguardianshipourgates

areinnowant;neitheristhegamekeeperanecessaryevil.I

shalltakethelatterofficemyself,asyoumayseeto-morrow,

whenwehavegotourfowling-piecesinorder,andareprovided

withpowderandshot.Withregardtothefootmen,oneofthemis

anArragonese,andtomymindaverygoodsortoffellow.Wewill

keephim;butalltherestaresuchrapscallions,thatIwould

notadviseyoutoharbouroneofthem,ifyouwantedanarmyof

attendants.

Afterhavingfullydebatedthepoint,weresolvedtokeepwell

withthecook,thescullion,theArragonese,andtogetridof

theremainderasdecentlyaswecould:allwhichwasplannedand

executedonthesameday,mollifyingthebitterdosebythe

applicationofafewpistoles,whichScipiotookfromourstrong

box,anddistributedamongthemasfromme.Whenwehadcarried

thisreformintoeffect,orderwassoonestablishedinour

mansion;wedividedthebusinessfairlyamongourremaining

people,andbegantolookintoourexpenses.Icouldwillingly

havebeencontentedwithveryfrugalcommons;butmysecretary,

lovinghighdishesandrelishingbits,wasnotamanwhowould

suffermasterJoachimtoholdhisplaceasasinecure.Hekept

histalentsinsuchconstantplay,workingdoubletidesatdinner

andatsupper,thatanyonewouldhavethoughtwehadbeen

convertedbyfatherHilary,andwereworkingoutthetermofour

probation.

CH.VIII.—ThelovesofGilBlasandthefairAntonia.

TwodaysaftermyreturnfromValenciatoLirias,clodpoleBasil,

myfarmingman,cameatmydressing-time,tobegthefavourof

introducinghisdaughterAntonia,whowasverydesirous,ashe

said,tohavethehonourofpayingherrespectstohernew

master.Iansweredthatitwasveryproper,andwouldbewell

received.Hewithdrew,andinafewminutesreturnedwithhis

peerlessAntonia.Thatepithet,thoughbold,willnotbethought

extravagant,inthecaseofagirlfromsixteentoeighteenyears

ofage,unitingtoregularfeaturesthefinestcomplexionandthe

brightesteyesintheworld.Shewasdressedinnothingbetter

thanastuffgown;butastaturesomewhatabovethefemale

standard,adignifieddeportment,andsuchgracesassoared

higherthanthemerefreshnessandglowofyouth,communicatedto

herrusticattirethesimplicityofclassicalcostume.Shehadno

caponherhead;herhairwasfastenedbehindwithaknotof

flowers,accordingtothechasteseverityoftheSpartan

fashionables.

Whensheilluminedmychamberwithherpresence,Iwasstruckas

muchonaheapbyherbeauty,aseverweretheprinces,knights,

nobles,andstrangersassembledatthesolemnfeastand

tournamentofCharlemain,bythepersonalcharmsofAngelica.

InsteadofreceivingAntoniawithmodishindifference,andpaying

hercomplimentsofcourse,insteadofringingthechangesonher

father’shappinessinpossessingsolovelyadaughter,Istood

stockstill,staring,gaping,stammering:Icouldnothave

utteredanarticulatesoundfortheuniversalworld.Scipio,who

sawclearlywhatwasthematterwithme,tookthewordsoutofmy

mouth,andacceptedthosebillsofadmirationwhichmyaffairs

wereintoomuchdisordertoadmitofmydulyhonouringForher

part,myfigurebeingshroudedbyadressing-gownandnightcap,

liketheorbofdaybyawinterfog,sheaccostedmewithout

beingshamefaced,andpaidherdutyintermswhichfiredallthe

combustiblesinmycomposition,thoughherwordswerebutthe

holidayexpressionsofcommonplacesalutation.Inthemeantime,

whilemysecretary,Basil,andhisdaughter,wereengagedin

reciprocalexchangeofcivility,Ifoundmysensesagain;and

passedfromoneextremeofabsurditytoanother,justasifIhad

thoughtthatahare-brainedloquacitywouldbeaset-offagainst

theidioticsilenceofmyfirstencounter.Iexhaustedallmy

stockofwell-bredrodomontade;andexpressedmyselfwithso

unguardedafreedom,astomakeBasillookabouthim:sothathe,

withhiseyeuponmeasamanwhowouldseteveryengineatwork

toseduceAntonia,wasinahurrytogethersafelyoutofmy

apartment,witharesolvedpurpose,probably,ofwithdrawingher

foreverfrommypursuit.

Scipiofindinghimselfalonewithme,saidwithasmile:Hereis

anotherdefenceforyouagainstthebluedevils!Ididnotknow

thatyourfarmingmanhadsoprettyadaughter;forIhadnever

seenherbefore,thoughIhavebeentwiceathishouse.Hemust

havetakeninfinitepainstokeepheroutoftheway,anditis

impossibletobeangrywithhimforitWhattheplague!hereisa

morselforaliquorishpalate!Butthereseemstobenonecessity

forblazoningherperfectionstoyou;theirveryfirstglance

dazzledyououtofcountenance.Idonotdenyit,answeredI.Ah!

mybelovedfriend,Ihavesurelyseenaninhabitantoftherealms

above;theelectricalsparknowthrillsthroughallmyframe,it

scorcheslikelightning,yettingleslikethevivifyingfluidat

myheart.

Youslightmebeyondmeasure,repliedmysecretary,bygivingme

tounderstandthatyouhaveatlengthfalleninlove.Nothingbut

amistresswaswantingtocompleteyourruralestablishmentat

allpoints.ThankstoHeaven,youarenowlikelytobe

accommodatedineveryway.Iamwellawarethatweshallhavea

hardmattertoeludeBasil’svigilance;butleavethattome,and

Iwillundertakebeforetheendofthreedaystomanageaprivate

meetingforyouwithAntonia.MasterScipio,saidI,itisnotso

surethatyouwouldbeabletokeepyourword;butatallevents,

IhavenottheleastdesiretomaketheexperimentIwillhave

nothingtodowiththeruinofthatgirl;forsheisanangel,

anddoesnotdeservetobenumberedamongthefallenones.

Therefore,insteadoflayingtheguiltuponyoursoulof

assistingmeinherdishonour,Ihavemadeupmymindtomarry

herwithyourkindhelp,supposingherheartnottobepre-occupiedbyapriorattachmentIhadnoidea,saidhe,ofyour

directlyplungingheadlongintothecoldbathofmatrimony.The

generalityoflandlords,inyourplace,wouldstanduponthe

ancienttenureofmanorialrights:theywouldnotdealwith

Antoniauponthesquareofmodernlawandgospel,tillafter

failureintheestablishmentoftheirfeudalprivileges.But

thoughthismaybethewayoftheworld,donotsupposethatIam

byanymeansagainstyourhonourablepassion,oratallwishto

dissuadeyoufromyourpurpose.Yourbailiff’sdaughterdeserves

thedistinctionyoudesignforher,ifshecangiveyouthe

firstfruitsofherheart,anofferingofsensibilityand

gratitude;thatiswhatIshallascertainthisverydayby

talkingwithherfather,andpossiblywithher.

Myagentwasamantotransacthisbusinessaccordingtothe

letter.HewenttoseeBasilprivately,andintheeveningcame

tomeinmycloset,whereIwaitedforhimwithimpatience,

somewhatexasperatedbyapprehension.Therewasaslynessinhis

countenance,whencemyprognosticinclinedtothebrighterside.

Judging,saidI,bythatlookofsuppressedmerriment,youare

cometoacquaintmethatIshallsoonbeatthesummitofhuman

bliss.Yes,mydearmaster,answeredhe,theheavenssmileupon

yourvows.IhavetalkedthematteroverwithBasilandhis

daughter,declaringyourintentionswithoutreserve.Thefather

isdelightedattheideaofyouraskinghisblessingasason-in-law;andyoumaysetyourheartatrestaboutAntonia’stastein

ahusband.Dartsandflames!criedIinanecstacyofamorous

transport;what!amIsohappyastohavemademyselfagreeable

tothatlovelycreature?Neverquestionit,repliedhe;sheloves

youalready.Itistrue,shehasnotownedsomuchbywordof

mouth;butmyassurancerestsonthetale-tellingsparkleofher

eye,whenyourproposalsweremadeknowntoher.Andyetyouhave

arival!Arival!exclaimedI,withafalteringvoice,anda

cheekblanchedwithfear.Donotletthatgiveyoutheleast

uneasiness,saidhe;yourcompetitorcannotbidveryhigh,forhe

isnootherthanmasterJoachimyourcook.Ah!thehangdog!said

I,withaninvoluntaryshoutoflaughter:thisisthereason,

then,whyhehadsogreatanobjectiontobeingturnedoutofmy

service.Exactlyso,answeredScipio;withinthesefewdayshe

madeproposalsofmarriagetoAntonia,whopolitelydeclined

them.Withsubmissiontoyourbetterjudgment,repliedI,it

wouldbeexpedient,atleastsoitstrikesme,togetridofthat

strangefellow,beforeheisinformedofmyintendedmatchwith

Basil’sdaughter:acook,asyouareaware,isadangerousrival.

Youareperfectlyintheright,rejoinedmytrustycounsellor;we

mustclearthepremisesofhim—heshallreceivehisdischarge

frommeto-morrowmorning,beforeheputsafingerinthe

fricandeaus;thusyouwillhavenothingmoretofeareitherfrom

hispoisonoussaucesorbewitchingtongue.Yetitgoesrather

againstthegrainwithmetopartwithsogoodacook;butI

sacrificetheinterestsofmyownbellytothepreservationof

yourpreciousperson.Youneednot,saidI,takeonsoforhis

loss:hehadnoexclusivepatent;andIwillsendtoValenciafor

acook,whoshalloutcookallhisfinecookery.Accordingtomy

promiseIwroteimmediatelytoDonAlphonso,tolethimknowthat

ourkitchenwantedaprimeminister;andonthefollowingdayhe

filledupthevacancyinsoworthyamanner,asreconciledScipio

atoncetothechangeinculinarypolitics.

ThoughmyadroitandactivesecretaryhadassuredmeofAntonia’s

secretself-congratulationontheconquestofherlandlord’s

heart,Icouldnotventuretorelysolelyonhisreport.Iwas

fearfullestheshouldhavebeenentrappedbyfalseappearances.

Tobemorecertainofmybliss,Ideterminedonspeakingin

persontothefairAntonia.IthereforewenttoBasil’shouse,

andconfirmedtohimwhatmyambassadorhadannounced.This

honestpeasant,ofpatriarchalsimplicityandgolden-aged

frankness,afterhavingheardmethrough,didnothesitatetoown

thatitwouldbethegreatesthappinessofhislifetogiveme

hisdaughter;but,addedhe,youarebynomeanstosupposethat

itisbecauseyouarelordofthemanor.Wereyoustillsteward

toDonCaesarandDonAlphonso,Ishouldpreferyoutoallother

suitorswhomightapply:Ihavealwaysfeltasortofkindness

towardsyou:andnothingvexesme,butthatAntoniahasnota

thumpingfortunetobringwithher.Iwantnottheviledross,

saidI;herpersonistheonlydowrythatIcovet.Yourhumble

servantforthat,criedhe;butyouwillnotsettleaccountswith

meafterthatfashion;Iamnotabeggar,tomarrymydaughter

uponcharity.BasildeBuenotrigoisincircumstances,bythe

blessingofProvidence,toportionheroffdecently;andImean

thatsheshouldsetoutalittlesupper,ifyouaretobeatthe

expenseofdinners.Inaword,therentalofthisestateisonly

fivehundredducats:Ishallraiseittoathousandonthe

strengthofthismarriage.

Justasyouplease,mydearBasil,repliedI;wearenotlikely

tohaveanydisputeaboutmoneymatters.Wearebothofamind;

allthatremainsistogetyourdaughter’sconsent.Youhave

mine,saidhe,andthatisenough.Notaltogetherso,answeredI;

thoughyoursmayheabsolutelynecessary,nobusinesscanbedone

withouthers.Hersfollowsmineofcourse,repliedhe;Ishould

liketocatchhermurmuringagainstmysovereigncommands.

Antonia,rejoinedI,withdutifulsubmissiontopaternal

authority,isreadywithoutquestiontoobeyyourwillimplicitly

inallthings;butIknownotwhetherinthepresentinstanceshe

woulddosowithoutviolencetoherownfeelings;andshouldthat

bethecase,Icouldneverforgivemyselfforbeingtheoccasion

ofunhappinesstoher;inshort,itisnotenoughthatIobtain

herhandfromyou,ifherheartistoheaveasighatthe

decisionofherdestiny.Oh,blessedvirgin!saidBasil,all

thesefinedoctrinesofphilosophyarefarabovemyreach;speak

toAntoniayourownself,andyouwiltfind,orIamverymuch

mistaken,thatshewishesfornothingbetterthantobeyour

wife.Thesewordswerenosooneroutofhismouththanhecalled

hisdaughter,andleftmewithherforafewshortminutes.

Nottotriflewithsopreciousanopportunity,Ibrokemymindto

heratonce:LovelyAntonia,saidI,itremainswithyoutofix

thecolourofmyfuturedays.ThoughIhaveyourfather’s

consent,donotthinksomeanlyofmeastosupposethatIwould

availmyselfofittoviolatethesacredfreedomofyourchoice.

Rapturousasmustbethepossessionofyourcharms,Iwaivemy

pretensionsifyoubuttellmethatyourdutyandnotyourwill

complies.Itwouldbeaffectationtoputonsucharepugnance,

answeredshe;thehonourofyouraddressesistooflatteringto

exciteanyotherthanagreeablesensations,andIamthankfulfor

myfather’stendercareofme,insteadofdemurringtohiswill.

Iamnotsurewhethersuchanacknowledgmentmaynotbecontrary

totherulesoffemalereserveinthepoliteworld;butifyou

weredisagreeabletome,Ishouldbeplain-spokenenoughtotell

youso;why,then,shouldInotbeequallyfreeinowningthe

kindfeelingsofmyheart?

Atsoundslikethese,whichIcouldnotbearwithoutbeing

enraptured,IdroppedonmykneebeforeAntonia,andinthe

excessofmytenderemotions,takingoneofherfairhands,

kisseditwithanaffectionateandimpassionedaction.Mydear

Antonia,saidI,yourfranknessenchantsme;goon,letnothing

induceyoutodepartfromit;youareconversingwithyourfuture

husband;letyoursoulexpanditself,andrevealallitsinmost

emotionsinhispresence.Thus,then,mayIentertainthe

flatteringhopethatyouwillnotfrownontheunionofour

destinies!ThecominginofBasilatthismomentpreventedme

fromgivingfurtherventtothedelightfulsensationswhich

thrilledthroughme.Impatienttoknowhowhisdaughterhad

behaved,andreadyprimedforscoldingincaseshehadbeen

perverseorcoy,hemadeuptomeimmediately.Well,now!said

he,areyousatisfiedwithAntonia?Somuchso,answeredI,that

Iamgoingthisverymomenttosetforwardthepreparationsfor

ourmarriage.Sosaying,Ileftthefatheranddaughter,forthe

purposeoftakingcounselwithmysecretarythereupon.

CH.IX.—NuptialsofGilBlaswiththefairAntonia;thestyle

andmanneroftheceremony;thepersonsassistingthereat;and

thefestivitiesensuingthereupon.

THOUGHtherewasnooccasiontoconsultwiththelordsofLeyva

aboutmymarriage,yetbothScipioandmyselfwereofopinion

thatIcouldnotdecentlydootherwisethancommunicatetothem

mypurposeofconnectingmyselfwithBasil’sdaughter,andjust

paythemthecomplimentofaskingtheiradvice,aftertheactwas

finallydeterminedon.

IimmediatelywentoffforValencia,wheremyvisitwasamatter

ofsurprise,andstillmorethepurportofitDonCaesarandDon

Alphonso,whowereacquaintedwithAntonia,havingseenhermore

thanonce,wishedmejoyonmygoodfortuneinawife.Don

Caesar,inparticular,madehisspeechupontheoccasionwithso

muchyouthfulfire,thatiftherehadnotbeenreasontosuppose

hislordshipweaned,bythaticymoralist,time,fromcertain

naughtypropensities,Ishouldhavesuspectedhimofgoingto

Liriasnowandthen,notsomuchtolookafterhisconcerns

there,asafterhislittleempressofthedairy.Seraphina,too,

withthekindestassurancesofalivelyinterestinwhatever

mightbefallme,saidthatshehadheardaveryfavourable

characterofAntonia;but,addedshe,withamaliciousfling,as

iftotauntmewithmysuperciliousreceptionofSephora’s

amorousadvances,eventhoughherbeautyhadnotbeensomuchthe

talkofthecountry,Icouldhavedependedonyourtaste,from

formerexperienceofitsdelicacyandfastidiousness.

DonCaesarandhissondidnotstopatcoldapprobationofmy

marriage,butdeclaredthattheywoulddefrayalltheexpensesof

it.Measurebackyoursteps,saidthey,toLirias,andstay

quietlytheretillyouhearfurtherfromus.Makenopreparation

foryournuptials,forweshallmakethatourconcern.Tomeet

theirkindintentionswithbecominggratitude,Ireturnedtomy

mansion,andacquaintedBasilandhisdaughterwiththeprojected

kindnessofourpatrons.Wedeterminedtowaittheirpleasure

withasmuchpatienceasfallstothelotofpoorhumannature

undersuchcircumstances.Eightlongdaysdraggedouttheir

tediousmeasure,andbroughtnotidingsofourbliss.Butthe

rewardsofself-controlarenotthelessassuredforbeingslow:

ontheninth,acoachdrawnbyfourmulesdroveup,withacargo

ofmantua-makersforthebride,andanassortmentofrichsilks

onwhichtoexercisetheirart.Severalliveryservants,mounted

onmules,accompaniedthecavalcade.Oneofthembroughtmea

letterfromDonAlphonso.Thatnoblemansentmewordthathe

wouldbeatLiriasnextdaywithhisfatherandhiswife,and

thatthemarriageceremonyshouldheperformedonthedayafter

that,bythevicar-generalofValencia.Andjustsoitcameto

pass:DonCaesar,hisson,andSeraphina,withthatvenerable

dignitary,werepunctualtotheirappointment;allfourofthem

inacoachandsix;noneofyourmules,likethemantua-makers!

precededbyanothercoachandfour,withSeraphina’swomen;and

therearwasbroughtupbyacompanyofthegovernor’sguards.

Thegovernor’sladyhadhardlyenteredthehousebeforeshe

testifiedanardentlongingtoseeAntonia,whoonherpartno

soonerknewthatSeraphinawasarrived,thansheranforwardto

bidherwelcome,witharespectfulkissuponherhand,so

gracefullyandmodestlyimpressed,thatallthecompanywere

enchantedattheaction.Andnow,madam!saidDonCaesartohis

daughter-in-law,whatdoyouthinkofAntonia?CouldSantillane

havemadeabetterchoice?No,answeredSeraphina,theyare

worthyeachoftheother;therecanbenodoubtbuttheirunion

willbemosthappy.Inshort,everyonewaslavishinthepraise

ofmyintended;andiftheyfeltherbeamssopowerfullyunder

theeclipseofastuffgown,whatmusttheynothaveenduredfrom

herbrightness,inthemeridiansunshineofherweddingfinery?

Onewouldhavefanciedshehadbeenclothedinsilks,jewels,and

finelinenfromhercradle,bythedignityofherairandthe

easeofherdeportment.

Thehappymomentwhichwastounitetwofondloversinthebands

ofHymenbeingarrived,DonAlphonsotookmebythehandandled

metothealtar,whileSeraphinaconferredthelikehonouronthe

brideelect.Ourprocessionhadmarchedinfitanddecentorder

throughthehamlettothechapel,wherethevicar-generalwas

waitingtogothroughtheservice;andtheceremonywasperformed

amidsttheheartfeltcongratulationsoftheinhabitants,andof

allthewealthyfarmersintheneighbourhood,whomBasilhad

invitedtoAntonia’swedding.Theirdaughterstoocameintheir

train,trickedoutinribbonsandinflowers,anddancingtothe

musicoftheirowntambourines.Wereturnedtothemansionunder

thesameescort:andthere,bytheprovidentattentionsof

Scipio,whoofficiatedashighstewardandmasterofthe

ceremonies,wefoundthreetablessetout;onefortheprincipals

oftheparty,anotherfortheirhousehold,andthethird,which

wasbyfarthelargest,forallinvitedguestspromiscuously.

Antoniawasatthefirst,thegovernor’sladyhavingmadeapoint

ofit;Ididthehonoursofthesecond,andBasilwasplacedat

theheadofthatwherethecountrypeopledined.AsforScipio,

heneversatdown,butwashere,there,andeverywhere,fetching

andcarrying,changingplatesandfillingbumpers,urgingthe

companytocallfreelyforwhattheywanted,andeggingthemon

tomirthandjollity.

Theentertainmenthadbeenpreparedbythegovernor’scooks;and

thatisasmuchastosay,thattherewereallthedelicacies

imaginable,inseasonoroutofseason.Thegoodwineslaidin

formebymasterJoachim,weresetrunningatafuriousrate;the

guestswerebeginningtofeeltheirjovialinfluence,pleasantry

andreparteegaveazestandconviviality,whenonasuddenour

harmonywasinterruptedbyanalarmingoccurrence.Mysecretary,

beinginthehallwhereIwasdiningwithDonAlphonso’s

principalofficersandSeraphina’swomen,suddenlyfainted.I

startedupandrantohisassistance;andwhileIwasemployedin

bringinghimabout,oneofthewomenwastakenillalso.Itwas

evidenttothewholecompanythatthissympatheticmaladymust

involvesomemysteriousincident,asineffectitturnedout

almostimmediately,thattherebyhungatale;forScipiosoon

recovered,andsaidtomeinalowvoice,Whymustoneman’smeat

beanotherman’spoison,andthemostauspiciousofyourdaysthe

curseofmine?Buteverymanbearsthebundleofhissinsupon

hisback,andmypack-saddleisoncemorethrownacrossmy

shouldersinthepersonofmywife.

Powersofmercy!exclaimedI,thiscanneverbe;itisalla

romance.What!youthehusbandofthatladywhosenerveswereso

affectedbythedisturbance?Yes,sir,answeredhe,Iamher

husband;andfortune,ifyouwilltakethewordofasinner,

couldnothavedonemeadirtierofficethanbyconjuringupsuch

agrievanceasthis.Iknownot,myfriend,repliedI,what

reasonsyoumayhaveforthusbelabouringyourribwithwordy

buffets,buthowevershemaybetoblame,inmercykeepabridle

onyourtongue;ifyouhaveanyregardforme,donotdisplace

themirthandspoilthepleasureofthisnuptialmeeting,by

ominousdisorderorenragedquestionsofpastinjuries.Youshall

havenoreasontocomplainonthatscore,rejoinedScipio;but

shallseepresentlywhetherIamnotaveryaptdissembler.

Withthisassurancehewentforwardtohiswife,whomher

companionshadalsobroughtbacktolifeandrecollection;and,

embracingherwithasmuchapparentfervourasifhisraptures

hadbeenreal,Ah,mydearBeatrice,saidhe,heavenhasat

lengthunitedusagainaftertenyearsofcruelseparation!But

thisblissfulmomentiswellpurchasedbywholeagesoftorturing

suspense!Iknownot,answeredhisspouse,whetheryoureallyare

atallthehappierforhavingrecoveredapartofyourself:but

ofthisatleastIamfullycertain,thatyouneverhadany

reasontorunawayfrommeasyoudid.Afinestoryindeed!You

foundmeonenightwithSignorDonFerdinanddeLeyva,whowasin

lovewithmymistressJulia,andconsultedmeonthesubjectof

hispassion;andonlyforthat,youmusttakeitintoyourstupid

head,thatIwascaballingwithhimagainstyourhonourandmy

own:thereuponthatpoorbrainofyourswasturnedwithjealousy;

youquittedToledoinahuff,andranawayfromyourownflesh

andbloodasyouwouldfromamonsterofthedeserts,without

leavingwordwhyorwherefore.Nowwhichofustwo,besogoodas

totellme,hasmostreasontotakeonandbepettish?Yourown

dearself,beyondallquestion,repliedScipio.Beyondall

question,re-echoedshe,myownillusedself.DonFerdinand,

veryshortlyafteryouhadtakenyourselfofffromToledo,

marriedJulia,withwhomIcontinuedaslongasshelived;and,

afterwehadlostherbysuddendeath,Icameintomyladyher

sister’sservice,who,aswellasallhermaids,andIwoulddo

asmuchforthem,willgivemeagoodcharacter;honestand

sober,andaverytermagantamongtheimpertinentfellows.

Mysecretary,havingnothingtoallegeagainstsuchacharacter

frommyladyandhermaids,wasdeterminedtomakethebestofa

badbargain.Onceforall,saidhetohisspouse,Iacknowledge

mybadbehaviour,andbegpardonforitbeforethishonourable

assembly.Itwasnowtimeformetoactthemediator,andtomove

Beatriceforanactofamnesty,assuringherthatherhusband

fromthistimeforwardwouldmakeitthegreatobjectofhislife

toplaythehusbandtohersatisfaction.Shebegantoseethat

therewasreasoninroastingofeggs,andallpresentwereloud

intheircongratulations,onthetriumphofsufferingvirtue,and

therenovatedpledgeofbrokenvows.Tobindthecontractfirmer,

andmakeitmemorable,theywereseatednexttooneanotherat

table;theirhealthsweredrankaccordingtothelawsof

toasting;wishyoujoy!manyreturnsofthishappyday!rang

roundoneveryside:onewouldhaveswornthatthedinnerwas

givenfortheirreconciliation,andnotonaccountofmy

marriage.

Thethirdtablewasthefirsttobecleared.Theyoungvillagers

jumpedupinabody;theladstookouttheirbloomingpartners;

thetambourinesstruckupamerrybeat;spectatorsflockedfrom

theothertables,andcaughttheenliveningspiritfromthegay

bustleofthescene.Everylimbandmuscleofeveryindividual

wasinmotion:thehouseholdofthegovernorandhisladyformed

aset,apartfromtherusticsofthecompany,whiletheir

superiorsdidnotdisdaintominglewiththehomelierdancers.

DonAlphonsodancedasarabandwithSeraphina,andDonCaesar

anotherwithAntonia,whoafterwardstookmeforherpartner.She

didnotperformmuchamiss,consideringthatshenevergotmuch

furtherthanthefivepositions,inlearningwhichshehadher

ankleskickedtopiecesbyaprovincialdancing-masterat

Albarazin,whileonavisittoatradesman’swife,oneofher

relations.Asforme,who,asIhavealreadysaid,hadtaken

lessonsattheMarchionessdeChaves’s,Ifiguredawayasthe

principalmaninthisruralballet.WithregardtoBeatriceand

Scipio,theypreferredalittleprivateconversationtodancing,

thattheymightcomparenotesonthesubjectofwarandtear

duringthepainfulperiodofseparation:buttheirbillingand

cooingwasinterruptedbySeraphina,who,havingbeeninformedof

thisdramaticdiscovery,sentforthemtopaythecustomary

complimentsofcongratulation.Mygoodpeople,saidshe,onthis

dayofgeneraljoy,itgivesmeadditionalpleasuretoseeyou

tworestoredtooneanother.MyfriendScipio,Ireturnyouyour

wifeunderafirmbeliefthatshehasalwaysconductedherselfas

becameawoman;takeupyourabodewithherhere,andbeagood

husbandtoher.Andyou,Beatrice,attachyourselftoAntonia,

andletherbeasmuchtheobjectofyourdevotedserviceas

SignordeSantillaneisthatofyourhusband.Scipio,whocould

notpossibly,afterthis,thinkofPenelopeasfittoholda

candletohisownwife,promisedtotreatherwithallthe

deferenceduetosuchaparagonofconjugalfidelity.

Thecountrypeople,havingkeptupthedancetilllate,withdrew

totheirownhomes;buttherejoicingswereprolongedbythe

companyinthehouse.Therewasagrandsupper,andatbed-time

thevicar-generalpronouncedthe

blessingofconsummation.Seraphinaundressedthebride,andthe

lordsofLeyvadidmethesamehonour.Theridiculouspartofthe

businesswas,thatDonAlphonso’sofficersandhislady’s

attendantstookitintotheirheads,bywayofdiverting

themselves,toperformthesameceremony:theyalsoundressed

BeatriceandScipio,who,torenderthescenesupremelyfarcical,

gravelyallowedthemselvestobeuntrussed,andputtobedwith

allnuptialpompandstate.

CH.X.—Thehoney-moon(averydulltimeforthereaderasa

thirdperson)enlivenedbythecommencementofScipio’sstory.

“‘Tisheavenitself,‘tisecstacyofbliss,

Uninterruptedjoy,untiredexcess;

Mirthfollowingmirth,themomentsdanceaway;

Loveclaimsthenight,andfriendshiprulestheday.”

ONthedayaftertheweddingthelordsofLeyvareturnedto

Valencia,afterhavinglavishedonmeathousandmarksof

friendship.Therewassuchageneralclearance,thatmysecretary

andmyself,withourrespectivewives,andourusual

establishment,wereleftinundisturbedpossessionofourown

home.

Theeffortswhichwebothmadetopleaseourladieswerenot

thrownaway:Ibreathedbydegreesintothepartnerofmyjoys

andsorrowsasmuchloveformeasIentertainedforher;and

Scipiomadehisbetterpartforgetthewoesandprivationshehad

occasionedher.Beatrice,whohadverywinningwayswithher,and

wasallthingstoallwomen,hadnodifficultyaboutworming

herselfintothegoodgracesofhernewmistress,andgainingher

completeconfidence.Inshort,weallfouragreedadmirablywell

together,andbegantoenjoyablissabovethecommonlotof

humanity.Everydayrolledalongmoredelightfullythanthelast.

Antoniawaspensiveanddemure;butBeatriceandmyselfwere

enlistedinthecrewofmirth;andeventhoughwehadbeen

constitutionallysedate,Scipiowasamongus,andhewasof

himselfapilltopurgemelancholy.Thebestcreatureinthe

worldforasnuglittleparty!oneofthosemerrydrollswhohave

onlytoshewtheircomicalfaces,andsetthetableinaroarof

inextinguishablelaughter.

Oneday,whenwehadtakenafancytogoafterdinner,anddoze

awaytheusualintervalinthemostsequesteredspotaboutthe

grounds,mysecretarygotintosuchexuberantspirits,asto

chaseawaythedrowsygodbyhisexhilaratingsallies.Dohold

yourtongue,myloquaciousfriend,saidI:orelse,ifyouare

determinedtowagewaragainstthislazycustomofour

afternoons,atleasttellussomethingwhichweshallhethe

wiserforhearing.Withallmyheartandsoul,sir,answeredhe.

Wouldyouhavemegothroughallfabuloushistoriesofwandering

knights,distresseddamsels,giants,enchantedcastles,andthe

wholetrainoflegendaryadventures?Ihadmuchratherhearyour

owntruehistory,repliedI;butthatisapleasurewhichyou

havenotthoughtfittogivemesolongaswehavelived

together,andIseemlikelytogowithoutittotheendofthe

chapter.Howhappensthat?saidhe.IfIhavenottoldyoumyown

story,itisbecauseyouneverexpressedtheslightestwishtobe

troubledwiththerecital:thereforeitisnotmyfaultifyou

areinthedarkaboutmypastlife;butifyouarereallyatall

curioustobeletintothesecret,myloquacityisverymuchat

yourserviceontheoccasion.Antonia,Beatrice,andmyself,

unanimouslytookhimathisword,andarrangedourselvesfor

listeninglikeanattentiveaudience.Thespeculationwasasafe

oneonourparts;forthetalewassuretoanswer,eitherasa

stimulantorasoporific.

Icertainlyoughttohavebeendescended,saidScipio,fromsome

familyofthehighestrankandearliestantiquity;orindefault

ofsuchparentage,fromthemostdistinguishedordersofpersonal

merit,suchasthatofStJamesorAlcantara,ifamanmaybe

permittedtodecideonthefittestcircumstanceshisownbirth:

butasitisnotamongtheprivilegesofhumannaturetoelect

one’sownfather,youaretoknowthatmine,bynameTorribio

Scipio,wasasubalternmyrmidonoftheHolyBrotherhood.Ashe

wasgoingbackandforeontheking’shighway,andlookingafter

businessinhisownline,hemetonceonatime,betweenCuen�a

andToledo,withayoungBohemianbabeofchance,whoappeared

veryprettyinhiseyes.Shewasalone,onfoot,andcarriedher

wholepatrimonyatherbackinakindofknapsack.Whitherare

yougoing,mylittledarling?saidheinaphilanderingtoneof

voice,unlikethenaturalhoarsenessofhisaccents.Goodworthy

gentleman,answeredshe,IamgoingtoToledo,whereIhopeto

gainanhonestlivelihoodbyhookorbycrook.Yourintentions

arehighlycommendable,retortedhe;andIdoubtnotbutyouhave

manyahookandmanyacrookamongtheimplementsofyourtrade.

Yes,withablessingonmyendeavours,rejoinedshe:Ihave

severallittlewaysofdoingformyself:Iknowhowtomake

washesandcreamsfortheladies’faces,perfumesfortheirnoses

andtheirchambers;thenIcantellfortunes,cansearchfor

thingslostwithasieveandshears,anderectfiguresforthe

takinginofshadowswithaglass.

Torribio,concludingthatsowell-providedagirlwouldbeavery

advantageousmatchforamanlikehimself,whocouldscarcely

scrapewherewithaltosupportlifebyhisownprofession,though

hewasasgoodathief-takerasthebestofthem,madeheran

offerofmarriage,andshewasnothingloth,norprudishlycoy.

TheyflewonthewingsofinclinationandconveniencetoToledo,

wheretheywerejoinedtogether;andyoubeholdinmethehappy

pledgeofholyandlawfulmatrimony.Theyfixedthemselvesina

shopontheoutskirtsofthetown,wheremymothercommencedher

careerbysellingthesaidwashes,creams,tapes,laces,silk,

thread,toys,andpedlar’sware;buttradenotbeingbriskenough

tolivecomfortablybyit,sheturnedfortune-teller.Thisdrew

hercustomers,gothercountenance,credit,crowns,andpistoles:

athousanddupesofeithersexsoontrumpetedupthereputation

ofCoselina;forsomygipsymammahadthehonourtobenamed.

Someoneorothercameeverydaytobargainfortheexerciseof

herskillintheblackart:atonetimeanephewathiswit’sand

purse’send,wantingtoknowhowsoonhisunclewastosetoff

postfortheotherworld,andleavebehindhimwherewithalto

piecehisworn-outfortunes:atanother,someyielding,love-sick

girl,toinquirewhethertheswainwhokepthercompany,andhad

promisedtomarryher,wouldkeephiswordorbefalse-hearted.

Youwilltakenotice,ifyouplease,thatmymotheralwayssold

goodluckforgoodmoney;iftheaccomplishmenttrodontheheels

oftheprediction,wellandgood;ifitwasfulfilledaccording

totheruleofcontraries,shewasalwayscool,thoughthe

partieswereeversoviolentlyinapassion,andtoldthem

plainlythatitwasherfamiliar’sfault,nothers;forthough

shepaidhimthehighestwages,andboundhimbypotentspellsto

stirupthecauldronoffuturityfromthebottom,likeearthly

cooks,hewouldsometimesbecarelessoroutofhumour,and

apportiontheingredientswrongly.

Whenmymotherthoughttheconjuncturemomentousenoughtoraise

thedevilwithoutcheapeninghimintheeyesofthevulgar,

TorribioScipioenactedhisinfernalmajesty,andplayedthepart

justasifhehadbeenborntoit,humouringthehideousfeatures

ofthecharacterbyaverysmallaggravationofhisownnatural

face,andpractisingthepandemoniannoteofelocutioninthe

loweroctaveofhisvoice.Apersonintheslightestdegree

superstitiouswould

bescaredoutofhissensesatmyfather’sfigure.Butoneday,

ashissatanicprototypewouldhaveit,therecameasavage

rascalofacaptain,whoaskedtoseethedevil,fornoearthly

purposebuttorunhimcleanthroughthebody.TheInquisition,

havingreceivednoticeofthedevil’sdeath,senttotakecharge

ofhiswidow,andadministertohiseffects;asforpoorlittle

me,justsevenyearsoldatthetime,Iwassenttothefoundling

hospital.Thereweresomecharitableecclesiasticsonthat

establishment,who,beingliberallypaidfortheeducationofthe

poororphans,weresozealousintheirofficeastoteachthem

readingandwriting.Theyfanciedtherewassomething

particularlypromisingaboutme,whichmadethempickmeoutfrom

alltherest,andsendmeontheirerrands.Iwasletter-carrier,

messenger,andchapelclerk.Asatokenoftheirgratitude,they

undertooktoteachmeLatin;buttheirmodeoftuitionwasso

harsh,andtheirdisciplinesosevere,thoughIwasasortofpet

withthem,that,notbeingabletostanditanylonger,Iran

awayonemorningwhileoutonanerrand;and,sofarfrom

returningtothehospital,gotoutofToledothroughthesuburbs

ontheSevilleside.

ThoughIhadnotthencompletedmyninthyear,Ialreadyfeltthe

pleasureofbeingfree,andmasterofmyownactions.Iwas

withoutmoneyandwithoutfood;nomatter!Ihadnolessonsto

saybyheart,nothemestohammerout.Afterhavingpushedonfor

twohours,mylittlelegsbegantorefusetheiroffice.Ihad

neverbeforemadesolongatrip.Itbecamenecessarytostopand

takesomerest.Isatmyselfdownatthefootofatreecloseby

thehigh.way;there,bywayofamusement,Itookmygrammarout

ofmypocket,andbeganconningitoverbywayofajoke;butat

length,comingtorecollecttherapsontheknuckles,andthe

castigationsonthemoreclassicalseatofpunishmentwhichit

hadcostme,Itoreitleafbyleafwithanapostropheofangry

import.Ah!youodiousthingofabook!youshallnevermakeme

shedtearsanymore.WhileIwasassuagingmyvindictivespirit,

bystrewingthegroundaboutmewithdeclensionsand

conjugations,therepassedthatwayahermitwithawhitebeard,

withalargepairofspectaclesonhisnose,andaltogetheran

outsideofmuchsanctity.Hecameuptome;and,ifIwasan

objectofspeculationtohim,hewasnolesssotome.Mylittle

man,saidhewithasmile,itshouldseemasifwehadbothtaken

asuddenlikingtoeachother,andinthatcasewecannotdo

betterthantolivetogetherinmyhermitage,whichisnottwo

hundredyardsdistant.Yourmostobedientforthat,answeredI

pertlyenough;Ihavenottheleastdesiretoturnhermit.At

thisanswer,thegoodoldmansetuparoaroflaughter,andsaid

withakindembrace:Youmustnotbefrightenedatmydress;if

itisnotbecoming,itisuseful;itgivesmemytitletoa

charmingretreat,andtothegoodwilloftheneighbouring

villages,whoseinhabitantsloveorratheridolizeme.Comethis

way,andIwillclotheyouinajacketofthesamestuffasmine.

Ifyouthinkwellofit,youshallsharewithmethepleasuresof

thelifeIlead;and,ifitdoesnothityourfancy,youshall

notonlybeatlibertytoleaveme,butyoumaydependonitthat

intheeventofourparting,Ishallnotfailtodosomething

handsomebyyou.

Isufferedmyselftobepersuaded,andfollowedtheoldhermit,

whoputseveralquestionstome,whichIansweredwithatruth-tellingsimplicity,notalwaystobefoundinamoreadvanced

stageofmorality.Onourarrivalatthehermitagehesetsome

fruitbeforeme,whichIdevoured,havingeatennothingallday

butasliceofdrybread,onwhichIhadbreakfastedatthe

hospitalinthemorning.Therecluse,seeingmeplaysogooda

partwithmyjaws,said:Courage,mygoodboy,donotsparemy

fruit;thereisplentyofit,Heavenbepraised.Ihavenot

broughtyouhithertostarveyou.Andindeedthatwastrue

enough;foranhourafterourcomingin,hekindledafire,puta

legofmuttondowntoroast;andwhileIturnedthespit,laida

smalltableforhimselfandme,withaverydirtynapkinuponit.

Whenthemeatwasdoneenoughhetookitup,andcutsomeslices

foroursupper,whichwasnodrybargain,sincewequaffeda

deliciouswine,ofwhichhehadlaidinamplestore.Well!my

chicken,saidhe,asherosefromtable,areyousatisfiedwith

mystyleofliving?Youseehowweshallfareeveryday,ifyou

fixyourquartershere.Thenwithrespecttoliberty,youshall

dojustasyoupleaseinthishermitage.AllIrequireofyouis

toaccompanymewheneverIgobeggingtotheneighbouring

villages;youwillbeofuseindrivinganassladenwithtwo

panniers,whichthecharitablepeasantsusuallyfillwitheggs,

bread,meat,andfish.Iasknomorethanthat.Iwilldo,said

I,whateveryoudesire,providedyouwillnotobligemetolearn

Latin.FriarChrysostom,forthatwastheoldhermit’sname,

couldnothelpsmilingatmyschoolboyfrowardness,andassured

meoncemorethatheshouldnotpretendtointerfereeitherwith

mystudiesormyinclinations.

Ontheverynextdaywewentonaforagingpartywiththedonkey,

whichIledbythehalter.Wemadeaprofitablegleaning;forall

thefarmerstookapleasureinthrowingsomewhatintoour

panniers.Onechuckedinanuncutloaf;anotheralargepieceof

bacon;hereagoose,thereapairofgiblets,andapartridgeto

crownthewhole.Butwithoutenteringfurtherintoparticulars,

wecarriedhomeprovenderenoughforaweek;andhenceyoumay

infertheesteemandfriendshipinwhichthecountrypeopleheld

theholyman.Itistruethathewasagreatblessingtothe

neighbourhood:hisadvicewasalwaysattheirservicewhenthey

cametoconsulthim:herestoredpeacewherediscordhadreigned

infamilies,andmadeupmatchesforthedaughters;hehada

nostrumforalmostanydiseaseyoucouldmention,withan

assortmentofpiousrituals,toavertthecurseofbarrenness.

HenceyouperceivethatIwasinnodangerofstarvinginmy

hermitage.Mylodging,too,wasnoneoftheworst:stretchedon

goodfreshstraw,withacushionofratteenundermyhead,anda

coverletovermeofthesamestuffImadebutonenapofitall

night.BrotherChrysostom,whohadpromisedmeahermit’sdress,

madeupanoldgownofhisownforme,andcalledmelittle

brotherScipio.NosoonerdidIappearinmyreligiousuniform,

thantheass’sbacksufferedformygenteelappearanceinthe

eyesofthevillagers.Itwaswhoshouldgivemosttothelittle

brother!somuchweretheydelightedwithhissprucefigure.

Theeasy,slothfullifeIledwiththeoldhermitcouldnotbe

veryrevoltingtoaboyofmyage.Onthecontrary,itsuitedmy

tastesoexactly,thatIshouldhavecontinuedittothistime,

butthatthefatesanddestinieswereweavingamorecomplicated

tissueformyfutureyears.Itwascastinthefigureofmy

nativity,earlytorousemyselffromtheeffeminacyofa

religiouslife,andtotakeleaveofbrotherChrysostomafterthe

followingmanner.

Ioftenobservedtheoldmanatworkuponhispillow,unsewing

andsewingitupagain;andoneday,Isawhimputinsomemoney.

Thiscircumstanceexcitedatinglingcuriosity,whichIpromised

myselftosatisfythefirsttimehewenttoToledo,ashe

generallydidonceaweek.Iwaitedimpatientlyfortheday,but

asyet,withoutanyothermotivethanthemeredesireofprying.

Atlastthegoodmanwenthisway,andIunpickedhispillow,

whereIfound,amongthestuffing,theamountofaboutfifty

crownsinallsortsofcoin.

Thistreasuremusthaveaccumulatedfromthegratitudeofthe

peasantry,whomthehermithadcuredbyhisnostrums,andof

theirwives,whohadbecomepregnantbyvirtueofhisspiritual

interference.Buthoweveritgotthere,Inosoonersetmyeyes

onthemoney,whichmightbeminewithoutanyonenearmetosay

nay,thanthegipsyvoiceofnatureandpedigreespokewithinme.

Aninextinguishableitchofpilferingtingledinmyveins,and

provedthatwecomeintotheworldwiththemarkofourdescent,

andwithourcharactersaboutus.Iyieldedtothetemptation

withoutastruggle;tiedupmybootyinacanvasbagwherewe

keptourcombsandnightcaps:then,havinglaidasidethe

hermit’sandresumedmyfoundling’sdress,gotclearofffromthe

hermitage,andhuggedmybagasthoughithadcontainedthe

boundlesstreasureoftheIndies.

Youhaveheardmyfirstexploit,continuedScipio;andIdoubt

notbutyouwillexpectasuccessionofsimilarpractices.Your

anticipationswillnotbedisappointed;fortherearemanysuch

evidencesofgeniusbehind,beforeIcometothoseofmyactions

whichprovemegoodaswellasclever;butIshallcometothem,

andyouwillbeconvincedbythesequel,thatascoundrelborn

maybelickedintovirtue,asthecubofabearintoshape.

ChildasIwas,IknewbetterthantotaketheToledoroad;it

wouldhavebeenexposingmyselftothehazardofmeetingfriar

Chrysostom,whowouldhavebalancedaccountswithmeonavery

thriftlessprinciple.Ithereforetravelledinanotherdirection

leadingtothevillageofGalves,whereIstoppedataninn,kept

byalandladywhowasawidowofforty,andhungoutthebunchof

grapestoaverygoodpurpose.Thisgoodwomannosoonerkenned

me,than,judgingbymydressthatImustbeatruantfromthe

orphanschool,sheaskedwhoIwasandwhitherIwasgoing.I

answeredthat,havinglostmyfatherandmother,Iwaslooking

foraplace.Canyouread,mydear?saidshe.Iassuredherthat

Icouldread,andwritetoo,withthebestofthem.Inpointof

fact,Icouldjustformmyletters,andjointhemsoastolooka

littlelikewriting;andthatwasclerkshipenoughforavillage

pothouse.ThenIwilltakeyouintomyservice,repliedthe

hostess.Youmayearnyourboardeasilyenough,byscoringupthe

customers,andkeepingmyledger.Ishallgiveyounowages,

becausethisinnisfrequentedbyverygenteelcompany,whonever

forgetthewaiters.Youmayreckonuponveryconsiderable

perquisites.

Iclenchedthebargain,reservingtomyself,asyoumaysuppose,

therightofemigrationwhenevermyabodeatGalvesshouldcease

tobepleasant.NosoonerwasIsettledinmyplace,thana

weightlayheavyonmymind.IdidnotwishittobeknownthatI

hadmoney;anditwasnoeasymattertodevisewhereitcouldbe

hidden,soasthatwhatwassauceforthegooseshouldnotbe

sauceforthegander.Iwasnotyetwellenoughacquaintedwith

thehousetotrusttheplacesobviouslymostproperforsucha

deposit.Whatasourceofembarrassmentisgreatwealth!I

determined,however,onacornerofourgranaryundersomestraw;

andbelievingittobesafertherethananywhereelse,made

myselfaseasyaboutitasIwellcould.

Thehouseholdconsistedofthreeservants:alubberlyostler,a

youngGalicianchambermaid,andmyself.Eachofusspungedwhat

wecouldupontravellers,whetheronfootoronhorseback.I

alwayscameinforsomesmallchange,whenthebillwaspaid.

Thentheequestriansgavesomethingtotheostler,fortaking

careoftheirbeasts:butasforourfemalefellow-servant,the

muleteerswhopassedthatwaychuckedherunderthechin,and

gavehermorecrownsthanwegotfarthings.Ihadnosooner

realizedapenny,thanawayitwenttothegranary,andslept

withitsprecursors;sothatthehigherrosemyheap,themore

greedydidmylittleheartbecome.SometimeswouldIkissthe

hallowedimagesofmyidolatry,andlookatthemwitha

devotionalglow,whichfewworshippersfeel,butthosewhose

religionistheirgold.

Thisinordinatepassionsentmebackandforetogratifyit,at

leastthirtytimesaday.Ioftenmetthelandladyonthe

staircase.She,beingnaturallyofasuspicioustemper,hada

mindtofindoutonedaywhatcouldcarrymeeveryminutetothe

corn-loft.Shethereforewentupandbeganrummagingabout

everywhere,supposingperhapsthatitwasmyreceptaclefor

articlespurloinedinthehouse.Ofcourseshedidnotforgetto

pullthestrawabout;andbehold,therewasmybag!Twohandsin

adishandoneinapurse,wasnotoneofherproverbs;sothat

findingthecontentsincrownsandpistoles,shethought,or

seemedtothink,thatthemoneywaslawfullyandhonestlyhers.

Atleastshehadpossession,andthatisninepointsofthelaw,

thoughscarcelyoneofhonesty.Buttodothethingdecently,

aftercallingmelittlewretch,littlerascal,andsoforth,she

orderedtheostler,afellowwithoutanywillbuthers,togive

meaheartyflogging;andthenturnmeoutofdoors,withthis

salteelformybreakfast,andalady-likeoaththatnolight-fingeredgentryshouldeverdarkenherdoors.InvaindidI

protestandvowthatIneverwrongedmymistress:sheaffirmed

thedirectcontrary,andherwordwouldgofurtherthanmineat

anytime.ThuswerefriarChrysostom’ssavingstransferredfrom

onethieftoagreaterthiefinthethief-taker.

Iweptoverthelossofmymoney,asafatheroverthedeathof

hisonlyson:andthoughmytearscouldnotbringbackwhatIhad

lost,theyatleastansweredthepurposeofexcitingpityinsome

people,whosawhowbitterlytheyflowed,andamongothersinthe

parson,whowasaccidentallygoingby.Heseemedaffectedbymy

sadplight,andtookmehomewithhim.There,togainmy

confidence,orrathertopumpme,hebegansoothingmysorrows.

Howmuchthispoorchildistobepitied!saidhe.Isitany

wonderif,thrownuponthewideworldatsotenderanage,hehas

committedabadaction?Grownupmenarenotalwaysproofagainst

thefleshorthedevil.Then,addressingme,Child,addedhe,

frontwhatpartofSpaindoyoucome,andwhoareyourparents?

Youhavethelookoffamilyaboutyou.Openyourhearttome

confidentially,anddependuponit,Ineverwilldesertyou.

Hisreverence,bythiskindandinsinuatinglanguage,engagedme

bydegreestotellhimallmyhistory,withoutfalsificationor

reserve.Iownedeverything;andthushemoralizedontheleading

articleofmyconfession:Mylittlefriend,thoughhermitsought

tolayupsuchtreasuresasneitherforcenorfraudcanwrest

fromthem,thatwasnoexcuseforyourtakingthemeasureof

punishmentintoyourownhands:byrobbingbrotherChrysostom,

youneverthelesssinnedagainstthatarticleofthedecalogue,

whichtellsyounottosteal;butIwillengagetomakethe

hostessreturnthemoney,andwillpunctuallyremitittothe

reverendfriarathishermitage:youmaythereforemakeyour

conscienceperfectlyeasyonthatscore.Now,betweenourselves,

myconsciencewasperfectlycalloustoeverythinglike

compunctionwithrespecttothecrimeinquestion.Theparson,

whohadhisownendstoanswer,hadnotdonewithmeyet.Mylad,

pursuedhe,Imeantotakeyoubythehand,andfindagoodberth

foryou.Ishallsendyouto-morrowmorning,bythecarrier,to

mynephew,acanonofToledo.Hewillnotrefuse,atmyrequest,

toadmityouuponhisestablishment,wheretheylivelikesomany

sonsofthechurch,rosily,merrily,andfatly,upontherentsof

hisprebendalstall:youwillbeperfectlycomfortablethere,

takemywordforit.

Patronagelikethisgavemesomuchencouragement,thatIdidnot

throwawayanotherthoughteitheruponmybagormywhipping.My

mindwaswhollyoccupiedwiththeideaoflivingrosily,merrily,

andfatly,likeasonofthechurch.Thefollowingday,at

breakfast-time,therecame,accordingtoorders,amuleteerto

theparsonage,withtwomulessaddledandbridled.Theyhelpedme

tomountone,themuleteerflunghislegovertheother,andwe

trottedonforToledo.Myfellow-travellerwasagood,pleasant

companion,ariddesirednothingbetterthantoindulgehishumour

attheexpenseofhisneighbour.Mylittlevolunteer,saidhe,

youhaveagoodfriendinhisreverence,theministerofGalves.

Hecouldnotgiveyouabetterproofofhiskindness,thanby

placingyouwithhisnephewthecanon,whomIhavethehonourof

knowing,farbeyondallquestionorcomparison,tobethecockof

thechapter,andaheartyoneheis.Noneofyourlantern-jawed

saints,withLentinhisface,acat-of-nine-tailsonhisback,

andacholeramorbusinhisbelly.Nosuchthing!Ourdoctoris

rubicundinthejowl,efflorescentonthenose,withawickedeye

atabumperoragirlmilitantagainstnoearthlypleasure,but

mostaddictedtothegoodthingsofthetable.Youwillbeas

snugthereasabuginablanket.

Thishangmanofamuleteer,perceivingwithwhatexquisite

satisfactionItookinallthis,wentontantalizingmewiththe

joysofanecclesiasticallife.Heneverdroppedthesubjecttill

wegottothevillageofObisa,andstoppedtheretorefreshour

mules.Then,whilebustlingabouttheinn,heaccidentally

droppedapaperfromhispocket,whichIwascunningenoughto

pickupwithouthisseeingme,andtookanopportunityofreading

whilehewasinthestable.Itwasaletteraddressedtothe

governorsandsuperintendentsoftheorphanschool,conceivedin

theseterms:“Gentlemen,Iconsideritasanactatonceof

charityandofduty,tosendyoubackalittletruant;heseemsa

shrewdladenough,andmaydoverywellwithgoodlookingafter.

Bydintofhardandfrequentchastisement,Idoubtnotbutyou

willultimatelybringhimtoasenseofhisownunworthinessand

yourbenevolence.Mayablessingbevouchsafedonyourpiousand

charitablelabours,fortheearlyextirpationofsinand

wickedness!(Signed)“THEMINISTEROFGALVES.”

WhenIhadfinishedreadingthispleasantletter,whichletme

intothegoodintentionsofhisreverencetherector,itrequired

littledeliberationtodeterminewhatIwastodo:fromtheinn

tothebanksoftheTagus,aspaceofthreegoodmiles,wasbuta

hop,step,andjump.Fearlentmewingstoescapefromthe

governorsofthefoundlinghospital,whitherIwasabsolutely

resolvednevertoreturn,havingformedprinciplesoftaste

diametricallyoppositetotheirmethodofteachingtheclassics.

IwentintoToledowithaslightaheartasifIhadknownwhere

togetmydailybread.Tobesure,itisatownofwaysand

means,whereamanwhocanlivebyhiswitsneedneverdieof

hunger.ScarcelyhadIreachedthehighstreet,whenawell-dressedgentlemanbywhomIbrushed,caughtmebythearm,

saying:Mylittlefellow,doyouwantaplace?Youarejustsuch

asmartladasIwaslookingfor.Andyouarejustthemasterfor

mymoney,answeredI.Sincethatisthecase,rejoinedhe,you

areminefromthismoment,andhaveonlytofollowme,whichI

didwithoutaskinganymorequestions.

Thisspark,abouttheageofthirty,andbearingthenameofDon

Abel,lodgedinveryhandsomeready-furnishedapartments.Hewas

byprofessionablacklegs;andthefollowingwasthenatureof

ourengagement.InthemorningIgothimasmuchtobaccoaswould

smokefiveorsixpipes;brushedhisclothes,andranfora

barbertoshavehimandtrimhiswhiskers;afterwhichhemade

thecircleofthetennis-courts,whenceheneverreturnedhome

tillelevenortwelveatnight.Buteverymorning,atgoingout,

hegavemethreerealsfortheexpensesoftheday,leavingme

masterofmyowntimetillteno’clockintheevening;and

providedIwaswithin-doorsbyhisreturn,allwaswell.Hegave

mealiverybesides,inwhichIlookedlikealittlelackeyof

illicitlove.Itookverykindlytomycondition,andcertainly

couldnothavemetwithanymorecongenialwithmytemper.

Suchandsohappyhadbeenmywayoflifefornearlyamonth,

whenmyemployerinquiredwhetherIlikedhisservice;andonmy

answerintheaffirmative,Well,then,resumedhe,to-morrowwe

shallsetoutforSeville,whithermyconcernscallme.Youwill

notbesorrytoseethecapitalofAndalusia.“Hethathathnot

Sevilleseen,”saystheproverb.“IsnotravellerIween.”I

engagedatoncetofollowhimallovertheworld.Onthatvery

day,theSevillecarrierfetchedawayalargetrunkwithmy

master’swardrobe,andonthenextmorningwewereontheroad

forAndalusia.

SignorDonAbelwassoluckyatplay,thatheneverlostbutwhen

itwasconvenient;butthenitwasseldomconvenienttostaylong

inaplace,becausethosewhoarealwayslosersfindoutatlast,

thatthoughchanceisadangerousantagonist,certainlyitisa

desperateone;andthataccountedforourjourney.Onourarrival

atSeville,wetooklodgingsneartheCordovagate,andresumed

thesamemodeoflifeasatToledo.Butmymasterfoundsome

differencebetweenthetwotowns.TheSevilletennis-courtscould

produceplayersequallyinfortune’sgoodgraceswithhimself;so

thathesometimescamehomeagooddealoutofhumour.One

morning,whenhewasbitingthebridleforthelossofahundred

pistolesthedaybefore,heaskedwhyIhadnotcarriedhislinen

tothelaundress.Ipleadedforgetfulness.Thereupon,flyinginto

apassion,begavemehalf-a-dozenboxesontheear,insucha

style,astokindleanilluminationinmyblinkingeyes,towhich

thegloriesofSolomon’stemplewerenomoretobecompared,than

thetorchesinaCandlemasprocessiontoarushlight.Thereis

foryou,youlittlescoundrel!saidhe;takethat,andlearnto

mindyourbusiness.MustIbeeternallyatyourheelstoremind

youofwhatyouaretodo?Areyourbrainsinyourbelly,andall

yourwitsinyourgrinders?Youarenotadownrightidiot!Then

whynotpreventmywantsandanticipatemyorders?Afterthis

experimentallecture,hewentoutfortheday,leavingmeinhigh

dudgeon,atareprimandsomuchinthemannerofmyfriendthe

ostler,forsuchatrifleasnotgettinguphisthingsforthe

wash.

Icouldneverlearnwhathappenedtohimashorttimeafterata

tennis-court;butoneeveninghecamehomeinaterribleheat.

Scipio,saidhe,IambentongoingtoItaly,andmustembarkthe

dayafterto-morrowonboardavesselboundforGenoa.Ihavemy

reasonsformakingthislittleexcursion;ofcourseyouwillbe

gladtoattendme,andtoprofitbysofineanopportunityof

seeingtheloveliestcountryonthefaceoftheearth.Mytongue

gaveconsent;butwithasalvoinmyheartandabargainwithmy

revenge,togivehimtheslipjustatthemomentofembarkation.

Thiswassodelightfulascheme,thatIcouldnothelpimparting

ittoabullybyprofession,whomImetinthestreet.Duringmy

abodeinSeville,Ihadpickedupsomeawkwardacquaintance,and

thiswasoneofthemostungainly.Itoldhimhowandwhymyears

hadbeenboxed,andthencommunicatedmyprojectofrunningaway

fromDonAbeljustbeforetheshipwastosail,beggingtoknow

whathethoughtoftheplan.

Mybluffadviserpuckeredhiseyebrowswhilehelistened,and

fiddledwithhisfingersabouthiswhiskers:then,blamingmy

masterveryseriously,Mylittlehero,saidhe,youareeternally

disgraced,cannevershewyourfaceagain,ifyousitdown

quietlywithsopaltryasatisfactionaswhatyoupropose.Tolet

DonAbelgooffbyhimself,wouldbeapoorrevengeforwrongs

likeyours;thepunishmentshouldbeproportionedtohiscrime.

Letusfinehimtothefullamountofhispurseandeffects,

whichwewillsharelikebrothersafterheisgone.Nowitisto

benoted,thatthoughthievingfellinverynaturallywiththe

bentofmygenius,theproposalratherstartledme,asthe

robberywasuponalargescaleforsoyounganapprentice.

Andyetthearchdeceiverofmyinnocencefoundthemeansof

workingmeuptotheperpetration,sothattheresultofour

enterprisewasasfollows.Thisgloriousruffian,atall,brawny

fellow,cameintheeveningabouttwilighttoourlodging.I

shewedmymaster’stravellingtrunkreadypacked,andaskedhim

whetherhecouldcarrysoheavyaloaduponhisshoulders.So

heavyasthat!saidhe:shewmewhereatransferofpropertyis

tobemadeinmyfavour,andIcouldrunwithNoah’sarktothe

topofMountArarat.Toprovehiswords,hefeltthetrunk,flung

itcarelesslyoverhisback,andscampereddown-stairs,I

followednimbly;andwehadjustgottothestreetdoor,whenDon

Abel,broughthomeinthenickoftimebytheascendancyofhis

luckystars,stoodlikeanapparition,toappalourguiltysouls.

Whitherareyougoingwiththattrunk?saidhe.Iwassotakenby

surprisethatmyassurancefailedme;andbroad-shoulders,

findingthathehaddrawnablankinthelottery,threwdownhis

booty,andtooktohisheels,ratherthanbetroubledforan

explanation.Oncemore,whitherareyougoingwiththattrunk?

saidmymaster.Sir,answeredI,withallthehonestsimplicity

ofacriminal,pleadinginarrestofjudgment,Iwasgoingtoput

itonboardthevessel,thatwemighthavethelesstodoto-morrow,beforeweembarkourselves.Indeed!Thenyouknow,

retortedhe,inwhatshipIhavetakenmypassage?No,sir,

repliedI!butthosewhocantalkLatinmayalwaysfindtheirway

toRome:Ishouldhaveinquiredattheport,andsomebodywould

haveinformedme.Atthisexplanation,whichlefthisopinion

whereitfoundit,hedartedafuriousglanceatme.Ithought

foralltheworld,hewasgoingtocuffmeagainaboutthehead.

Whoorderedyou,criedhe,totakemytrunkoutofthishouse?

You,yourownself;saidI.Canyoupossiblyhaveforgottenhow

youratedmebutafewdaysago?Didyounottellme,withaflea

inmyear,thatyouwouldhavemepreventyourwants,anddo

beforehandfrommyownheadwhateveryourservicemightrequire?

Now,nottobethreshedasecondtimeforwantofforethought,I

wasseeingyourtrunksafeandsoonenoughonboard.Onthisthe

gamester,findingthatIhadcutmyteethofwisdomsoonerthan

suitedhispurpose,turnedmeoffverycoolly,saying:Goabout

yourbusiness,masterScipio,andspeedasyoumaydeserve.Ido

notliketoplaywithfolkswhoareinthehabitofrevoking.Get

outofmysight,orIshallsetyoursolfeggioinacryingkey.

Isparedhimthetroubleoftellingmetogotwice.OffIshot

likeanarrow,forfearheshouldunfledgeme,bytakingawaymy

livery.Whendistantenoughtoslackenmypace,Iwalkedalongin

thestreets,musingwhitherImightbetakemyselfforanight’s

lodging,withonlytworealsinmypocket.Thegateofthe

archbishop’spalaceatlengthstaredmeintheface;and,ashis

grace’ssupperwasthendressing,asavouryodourexhaledfrom

thekitchens,impregnatingthegalewithsoupandsaucefora

mileround.Odsharicotsandcutlets!thoughtI,itwouldbeno

hardmatterformetodispensewithoneofthoselittleside

dishes,whichwillbeofnousetothearchbishopbuttomakeout

thefigureofhistable:nay,Iwouldbecontentedonlyjustto

dipinmyfourfingersandthumb,andthentosuplikeabear

uponsuckings.Buthowtoaccomplishit!Istherenowayof

bringingthesechoicemorselstoabettertestthanthatof

smell?Andwhynot?Hunger,theysay,willbreakthroughstone

walls.OnthisideadidIsetmywitstowork;and,bydintof

conningoverthesubject,astratagemstruckme,whichsetmy

lungsaswellasappetiteinmotion,justastheoldcarpenter

keptbawling,“Ihavefoundit,”likeamadman,whenhehadhit

therightnailofhispropositiononthehead.Iranintothe

courtofthepalace,andmadethebestofmywaytothekitchens,

callingoutwithallmymight,“Help!help!”asifsomeassassin

hadbeenatmyheels.

AtmyreiteratedcriesmasterDiego,thearchbishop’scook,ran

withthreeorfourkitchendrudgestolearnwhatwasthematter;

andseeingonlyme,askedwhyIroaredsoloud.Ah!goodsir,

answeredI,witheverytokenofexquisitedistress,formercy’s

sakeandforStPolycarp’s!saveme,Ibeseechyou,fromthefury

ofablusterer,whoswearshewillkillme.Butwhereisthis

disturberofthepublicpeace?criedDiego.Youhavenooneto

quarrelwithbutyourself;forIdonotseesomuchasacatto

spitatyou.Goyourways,mylittleman,anddonotbeafraid;

itisevidentlysomewagwhohasbeenplayinguponyourcowardice

forhisdiversion;butheknewbetterthantofollowyouwithin

thesewalls,forwewouldhavecuthisearsoffattheleast.No,

no,saidI,itwasfornolaughingmatterthatheranafterme.

Heisanotedfootpad,andmeanttorobme;Iamcertainthathe

isnowwaitingformeatthecornerofthestreet.Thenhemay

waitlongenough,repliedtheknightoftheironspit;foryou

shallstayheretillto-morrow.Youshallsupwithus,andwe

willgiveyouabed.

Iwasoutofmylittlewitswithjoyatthementionoftheselast

tidings;anditwasliketheturnpikeroadtoparadiseafter

crossinganArabiandesert,whenbeingledbymasterDiego

throughthekitchens,Itheresawmylordarchbishop’ssupper,

andthestew-pansinthelastthroesofparturition.Therewere

fifteenaccountablesouls,forIreckonedthemup,inattendance

onthelabour;butthelitterofdishesfaroutnumberedthe

fecundityofnatureinhermostprolificmood:somuchmore

graciousandbountifulisprovidencetotheheadsofthechurch

intheindulgenceoftheirappetites,thanmindfulofthe

worthlessbrutecreationinthepropagationofitskind.Hereit

was,atthefountain-headofprelacy,inhalinganatmosphereof

gravy,insteadofjustsnuffingthescentasitlayuponthe

breeze,thatIfirstshookhandswithsensuality.Ihadthe

honourofsuppingwiththescullions,andofsleepingintheir

room;aninitiationoffriendshipsosincereandstrong,thaton

thefollowingday,whenIwenttothankmasterDiegoforhis

goodnessinvouchsafingmearefuge,hesaid:Ourkitchenlads

havebeenwithmeinabody,todeclarehowexcessivelydelighted

theyarewithyourmanners,andtoproposehavingyouamongthem

asafellow-servant.Howshouldyou,onyourpart,liketomake

oneofthesociety?Iansweredthat,withsuchafeatherinmy

cap,Ishouldbethevainestandthehappiestofmortals.Thenso

beit,myfriend,repliedhe;consideryourselfhenceforthasa

buttressofthehierarchy.Withthisinvitation,heintroducedme

tothemajor-domo,whothoughthesawtalentenoughinmefora

turnspit.

NosoonerwasIinpossessionofsohonourableanoffice,than

masterDiego,followingthepracticeofcooksingreathouses,

whopamperuptheirprettydearsinprivatewithallsortsof

goodthings,selectedmetosupplyaladyintheneighbourhood

witharegulartableofbutcher’smeat,poultry,andgame.This

goodfriendofhiswasawidowontherightsideofthirty,very

pretty,verylively,andtoallappearancecontentingherself

withcupboardloveforhercook.Hisgenerouspassionwasnot

confinedtofurnishingherwithbread,meat,andgarnish;she

drankherwinetoo,andthearchbishopwasherwine-merchant.

Theimprovementofmypartskeptpacewiththatofmycarnal

conditioninhisgrace’spalace:whereIgaveaspecimenof

risinggenius,stillringingonthetrumpoffameatSeville.The

pagesandsomeothersofthehouseholdhadamindtogetupa

playonmylordarchbishop’sbirthday.Theychoseapopular

Spanishtragedy;andwantingaboyaboutmyagetopersonatethe

youngKingofLeon,castmeforthepart.Themajor-domo,agreat

spouter,undertooktotrainmeforthestage;andafterafew

lessons,pronouncedthatIshouldnotbetheworstactorofthe

company.Hisgracenotwishingtostarvesohandsomeacompliment

tohimself,noexpensewassparedingettingitupmagnificently.

Thelargesthallinthepalacewasfittedupasatheatre,with

appropriatedecorations.Atthesidescenetherewasabedof

turf,onwhichIwastobediscoveredasleep,whentheMoorswere

torushinandtakemeprisoner.Whenwehadgotsoforwardwith

ourrehearsalsastobesureofbeingreadybythetimefixed,

thearchbishopsentoutcardsofinvitationtoalltheprincipal

familiesinthecity.

Atlengththegreat,theimportantdayarrived;andeach

performerwasbigwiththecontrivanceandadjustmentofhis

dress.Minewasbroughtbyatailor,accompaniedbyourmajor-domo,who,aftertakingthetroubleofdrillingmeatrehearsal,

wishedtoseejusticedonetomyoutwardappearance.Thetailor

putmeonarichrobeofbluevelvet,withhangingsleeves,gold

lace,fringe,andbuttons:themajor-domohimselfcrownedmewith

apasteboardcrown,studdedwithfalsediamondsandrealpearls.

Moreover,theygavemeasashofpinksilkworkedinsilver;so

thateverynewornamentwaslikeaquill-featherinthewingofa

bird.Atlast,aboutdusk,theplaybegan.Thecurtaindrewup

formysoliloquy;thepurportofwhichwastoexpress,ina

roundabout,poeticalway,thatnotbeingabletodefendmyself

fromtheinfluenceofsleep,Iwasgoingtoliedownandtakeit

asitcame.Tosuittheactiontotheword,Isidledofftothe

cornerbetweentheflatandthewings,andsquatteddownonmy

bedofturf,butinsteadofgoingtosleep,accordingtopromise,

Iwashammeringuponthemeansofgettingintothestreet,and

runningawaywithmycoronationfinery.Alittleprivate

staircase,leadingunderthetheatreintothelowersaloon,

seemedtofurnishtheprobabilityofsuccess.Islidawayslily,

whiletheaudiencewereconsideringsomenecessaryquestionof

theplay,andrandownthestaircase,throughthesaloon,tothe

door,callingout,“Makeway!makeway!Imustchangemydress,

andrunupagaininamoment!”Theyallmadealane,forfearof

hinderingme;sothatinlessthantwominutesIgotclearoutof

thepalace,undercoverofthedarkness,andscamperedtothe

houseofmyfriendwhosawgentlemen’strunkssafeonboard.

HestaredlikeastuckpigatmyequipmentlButwhenIlethim

intothewhyandthewherefore,helaughedreadytosplithis

sides.Then,shakinghandsinthesincerityofhisheart,because

heflatteredhimselfwiththehopeofapensionontheKingof

Leon’scivillist,hewishedmejoyofsosuccessfulafirst

appearance,andjoinedissuewiththemajor-domointhe

prognostic,thatwithencouragementandpracticeIshouldturn

outafirst-rateactor,andmakenolittlenoiseintheworld.

Afterwehaddivertedourselvesforsometimeattheexpenseof

mymanagerandaudience,Isaidtothebully—Whatshallwedo

withthismagnificentdress?Donotmakeyourselfuneasyabout

that,answeredhe.Iknowanhonestbroker,withoutanatomof

curiosityinhiscomposition,whowillbuyorsellanythingwith

anyperson,providedthathegetstheturnofthemarketuponthe

transaction.Iwillfetchhimtoyouto-morrowmorning.The

knowingfellowwasasgoodashisword;forhewentoutearlythe

nextday,leavingmeinbed,andreturnedtwohoursafterwards

withthebroker,carryingayellowbundleunderhisarm.My

friend,saidhe,givemeleavetointroduceSignorYbagnezof

Segovia,who,inspiteofthebadexamplesethimbythetradein

general,truststofairdealingandsmallprofitsforamoderate

pittanceandanunblemishedcharacter.Hewilltellyoutoa

fractionwhatthedressyouwanttopartwithisreallyworth,

andyoumaytakehiscalculationasthebalanceofjustice,

between,manandman.OhyesItoanicety,saidthebroker.Else

whereforeliveIinaChristianland,buttoappraiseformy

neighbourasformyself?Totakeameanadvantageneverwas,

thankheaven!andattheseyearsnevershallbe,imputedto

YbagnezofSegovia.Letuslookalittleatthosearticles!You

aretheseller;Iamthebuyer!Wehaveonlytoagreeuponan

equitableprice.Heretheyare,saidthebully,pullingthemout:

nowownthetruth,wasthereeveranythingmoremagnificent?You

donotoftenseesuchvelvet:andthenthetrimming!Youcannot

saytoomuchofit,answeredthesalesman,examiningthesuit

withthepryingeyeofadealer,itisoftheveryfirstquality.

Andwhatthinkyouofthepearlsuponthiscrown?resumedmy

friend.Alittlerounder,observedYbagnez,andtherewouldbeno

settingapriceuponthem!however,takethemastheyare,itis

averyfineset,andIdonotwanttofindfaultabouttrifles.

Nowyourcommonrunofappraisers,undermycircumstances,would

affecttodisparagethegoodsforthesakeofgettingthem

cheaper;oneofthosefellowswouldhavetheconsciencetooffer

twentypistoles;butthereisnothinglikebargainingwithan

upright,downrightman!Iwillgivefortyataword;takethemor

leavethem!

HadYbagnezventureduptoahundred,hewouldnothaveburned

hisfingers;forthepearlsalonewouldhavefetchedtwohundred

anywhere.Thebully,whowentsnacks,thensaid—Nowonlylook!

whatamercyitis,tofallintothehandsofamannotofthis

world.SignorYbagnezestimatesmoneyasdross,incomparisonof

hisprinciplesandhissoul.Hemaydieto-night,andyetnotbe

takenunprepared!Thatistoomuch!Youmakemeblush,saidthe

salesmanofprincipleandsoul;butsofaristrue,thatmyprice

isalwaysfixed.Well,now,isitabargain?Themoneydownupon

thenailtoo!Stopamoment!answeredthebully;mylittlefriend

mustfirsttryontheclothesyouhavebroughtforhimbymy

order:Iamverymuchmistakeniftheywillnotjustfithim.The

salesmanthen,untyinghisbundle,shewedmeasecond-handsuit

ofdarkclothwithsilverbuttons.Igotup,andgotintoit;too

bigformeeveryway!butthesegentlemencouldhaveswornithad

beenmadetomymeasure.Ybagnezputitattenpistoles;andas

hewasanupright,downrightman,offixedprincipleandsoul,

estimatingmoneyasdrossincomparisonofintegrity,hisfirst

pricewasofcoursehislast.Hethereforetookouthispurse,

andcounteddownthirtypistolesuponatable;afterwhichhe

packeduptheKingofLeon’sregalia,andwenthisway.

Whenhewasgone,thebullysaid—Iamverywellsatisfiedwith

thatbroker.Andsohewellmightbe;forIamcertainhemust

havereceivedatleastahundredpistolesashush-money.But

therewasnoreasonwhythebroker’sbenevolenceshouldpaythe

debtsofmygratitude:sohetookhalfthemoneyonthetable,

withoutsayingwithyourleaveorbyyourleave,andsufferedme

topockettheremainder,withthefollowingadvice:Mydear

Scipio,withthatbalanceoffifteenpistoles,Iwouldhaveyou

getoutofthistownasfastasyoucan;foryoumaysupposethat

mylordarchbishopwillferretyououtifyouareabove-ground.

Itwouldgrievemetotheheartif,afterhavingrisenso

superiortotheprejudiceofhonesty,youhadtheweaknessto

fallfoulofwhatalonekeepsitafloat,thehouseofcorrection.

Iansweredthatitwasmyfixedpurposetomakemyselfscarceat

Seville,andaccordingly,afterbuyingahatandsomeshirts,I

travelledthroughvineyardsandolivegrovestotheancientcity

ofCarmona;andinthreedaysafterwardsarrivedatCordova.

Iputupataninnclosebythemarket-place,givingmyselfout

fortheheirofagoodfamilyatToledo,travellingforhis

pleasure.Myappearancedidnotbeliethestory,andafew

pistoles,whichIcontrivedcarelesslytochinkwithinthe

landlord’shearing,pinnedhisfaithuponmyveracity.Probably

myunfledgedyouthmightleadhimtotakemeforsomegraceless

littletruantwhohadrobbedhisparentsandrunaway.Butthat

wasnoconcernofhis:hetookthethingjustasIgaveithim,

forfearlesthiscuriosityshouldclashwithmycontinuanceat

hishouse.Forsixrealsadayonecouldlivelikeagentlemanat

thisinn,wheretherewasgenerallyaconsiderableconcourseof

company.Aboutadozenpeoplesatdownatsupper.Itwas

whimsicalenough;butthewholepartypliedtheirknivesand

forkswithoutspeakingaword,exceptoneman,whotalked

incessantly,rightorwrong,andmadeupforthesilenceofthe

restbyhiseternalbabble.Heaffectedtobeawit,totella

goodstory,andtookgreatpainstomakethegoodfolksmerryby

hispuns;andaccordinglytheydidlaughmostinextinguishably;

butitwasathim,notwithhim.

Formypart,Ipaidsolittleattentiontothetalkofthis

rattle,thatIshouldhavegotupfromtablewithoutknowingwhat

itwasallabout,ifhehadnotbroughtithometomybusiness

andmybosom.Gentlemen,criedhe,justassupperwasover,I

havekeptmybeststoryforthelast;averydrollthinghappened

withinthesefewdaysatthearchbishopofSeville’spalace.I

haditfromayoungfellowofmyacquaintance,whoassuresme

thathewaspresentatthetime.Thesewordsmademyheartjump

upintomythroat,forIhadnodoubtofthisbeingmyexploit—

andsoitturnedoutThispleasantgentlemanrelatedthefacts

astheyactuallyhappened,andevencarriedtheadventuretoits

conclusion,ofwhichIwasasyetignorant:butnowyoushallbe

madeaswiseasmyself.

NosoonerhadIabsconded,thantheMoors,whowere,accordingto

theprogressofthefableandtherisingoftheinterest,tolay

violenthandsonme,appeareduponthestage,forthefell

purposeofsurprisingmeonmybedofturf,wheretheauthorhad

giventhemreasontoexpectmefastasleep;butwhentheythought

theywerejustgoingtocapottheKingofLeon,theyfound,to

theirsurprise,thatboththekingandtheknavemadeatrick

againstthem.Herewasaholeintheballad!Theactorsalllost

theircue;someofthemcalledmebyname,othersrantolookfor

me;hereisafellowbawlingasthoughhisbellowswouldburst,

therestandsanother,mutteringtohimselfaboutthedevil,just

asifthatreptilecouldstanduprightinsuchapresence!The

archbishop,perceivingtroubleandconfusiontolorditbehind

thescenes,askedwhatwasthematter.Atthesoundofthe

prelate’svoice,apage,whowasthefiddleofthepiece,cameto

thefrontandspokethus:Mylordarchbishop,ladies,and

gentlemen!Weareextremelysorrytoinformyou,asplayers,but

extremelyglad,asmenandChristians,thattheKingofLeonis

atpresentinnodangerwhateverofbeingtakenprisonerbythe

Moors:hehasadoptedeffectualmeasuresforthesecurityofhis

royalperson;andtotheroyalperson,aslibertyavailslittle

withoutproperty,hehasirrevocablyattachedthecrown,

insignia,androbes.Andahappydeliveranceforhimselfand

Christendom!exclaimedthearchbishop.Hehasdoneperfectly

righttoescapefromtheenemiesofourreligion,andtoburst

fromthebondsinwhichtheirmalicewouldhavelaidhim.Bythis

time,probably,hehasreachedtheconfinesofhiskingdom,or

mayhaveenteredthecapital.Maynounluckyaccidenthave

retardedhimonhisjourney!Andthatthesinofnonesuchmay

lieheavyonmyconscience,Ibegleaveverypositivelytomake

mypleasureknown,thathemayproceedunmolestedbyany

interruptionfromthisquarter;Ishouldbehighlymortified

indeed,ifhismajesty’spiousendeavoursweretobefrustrated

bytheslightestindignityfromtheministersofthatreligionin

whosecausehelaboursandsuffers.Theprelate,havingthus

declaredhisacquiescenceinthemotivesofmyflight,orderedmy

parttoberead,andtheplaytoberesumed.

CH.XI.—ContinuationofScipio’sstory.

AslongasIhadmoneyinmypurse,mylandlordwascapinhand;

butthemomenthebegantosuspectthatthefundswerelow,he

becamehighandmighty,pickedaGermanquarrelwithme,andone

morning,beforebreakfast,beggeditasafavourofmetomarch

outofhishouse.Ifollowedhiscounselasproudlyasyou

please,andbetookmetoachurchbelongingtothefathersofSt

Dominic,where,whilemasswasperforming,anoldbeggaraccosted

meontheusualtopicofalms.Idroppedsomesmallchangeinto

hishat,whichwastrulytheorphan’smite,sayingatthesame

time:Myfriend,rememberinyourprayerstomentionasituation

forme;ifyourpetitionisheardwithfavour,itshallbeall

thebetterforyou;heartythanks,andahandsomepoundage!

Atthesewords,thebeggarsurveyedmeupanddownfromheadto

foot,andansweredinagravetone:Whatplacewouldyouwishto

have?Ishouldlike,repliedI,tobefootmaninsomefamily

whereIshoulddowell.Heinquiredwhetherthematterpressed.

Withallpossibleimportunity,saidI,forunlessIhavethegood

lucktogetsettledverysoon,thealternativewillbehorrible;

deathbythegripeofabsolutefamine,oralivelihoodinthe

ranksofyourfraternity.Ifthelatterwere,afterall,tobe

yourlot,resumedhe,itcertainlywouldberatherharduponyou,

whohavenotbeenbroughtuptoourhabitsoflife;but,witha

littleuseandpractice,youwouldpreferourconditionto

service,which,partialityapart,isfarlessrespectablethan

thebeggar’svocation.Nevertheless,sinceyoulikeamenial

occupationbetterthanleadingafreeandindependentlifelike

me,youshallhaveaberthwithoutmoreado.Meanasmy

appearance,is,youmustnotmeasuremypowerbyit.Meetmehere

atthesamehourto-morrow.

Itookcaretokeeptheappointment.Thoughatthespotbefore

thetime,Ihadnotlongtowaitbeforethebeggarjoinedme,and

toldmetofollowhim.Ididso.Heledmetoacellarnotfar

fromthechurchwhereheresided.Wewentintogether;and

sittingdownonalongbench,atleastahundredyearstheworse

forwear,theconversationtookthisturnonhispart:Agood

action,astheproverbsays,alwaysmeetswithitsreward:you

gavemealmsyesterday,andthathasdeterminedmetogetyoua

place,whichshallbesoondone,withablessingonmy

endeavours.IknowanoldDominican,bynameFatherAlexis,a

holymonk,aghostlyconfessor.Ihavethehonourtodoallhis

littleoddjobs,performingmytaskwithsomuchdiscretionand

goodfaith,thathealwayslendshisinteresttomeandmy

friends.Ihavespokentohimaboutyou,andinsuchtermsasto

prepossesshiminyourfavour.Youmaybeintroducedtohis

reverencewheneveryouplease.

Thereisnotamomenttobelost,saidItotheoldbeggar;let

usgotothegoodmonkimmediately.Themendicantagreed,andled

mebythearmtoFatherAlexis,whomwefoundinhisroom,hard

atwork,writingspiritualletters.Hebrokeofftotalkwithme.

Asitwasthewishofthemendicant,hewoulddoallinhispower

toserveme.Havinglearnt,pursuedbe,thatSignorBalthasar

Velasquezisinwantofafootboy,Iwrotetohimthismorningon

yourbehalf;andhejustsentmeforanswer,thathewouldtake

youwithoutfurtherinquiryonmyrecommendation.Thisveryday

youmaycallonhimfromme;heisoneofmyflock,andmyvery

goodfriend.Thereuponthemonkpreachedtomeforthreequarters

ofanhouronmymoralandreligiousduties,andhowtofulfil

theminconscienceandhonour.Heenlargedprincipallyonthe

obligationofservingVelasquezwithdiligenceanddevotion;and

thenassuredmethathewouldtakecareandkeepmeinmyplace,

providedmymasterhadnoverymaterialfaulttofindwithme.

Afterhavingthankedtheholypersonforhisgoodnesstowardsme,

Ilefttheconventwiththebeggar,whotoldmethatSignor

BalthasarVelasquezwasanoldwoollen-draper,butwithmuch

simplicityandgoodnatureinhischaracter.Idoubtnot,added

he,butyouwillbeperfectlycomfortableinhishouse.Ibegged

toknowhisplaceofresidence,andrepairedthitherimmediately,

afterpromisingtomakemygratitudemanifest,assoonasIhad

takenrootinmynewsoil.Iwentintoalargeshop,wheretwo

fashionableyoungapprenticeswerewalkingupanddown,

practisingnewgrimacesagainsttheentranceofthenext

customer.Iinquiredwhethertheirmasterwasathome,saying

thatIwantedtospeakwithhimfromFatherAlexis.Atthat

venerablenametheyshewedmeintothecountinghouse,where

theirprincipalwasturningovertheledger.Imadealowbow,

andcominguptohim,Sir,saidI,FatherAlexisorderedmeto

callhereandoffermyselfasaservanttoyourhonour.Ah!my

smartlad,answeredhe,youareheartilywelcome.Itisenough

thattheholymansentyou;andIshalltakeyouinpreferenceto

threeorfourotherswhohavebeenrecommended.Itisaclear

case;yourwagesbeginfromthisday.

Averyshorttimeinthefamilyconvincedmethattheheadofit

wasjustsuchamanashehadbeendescribed,Inpointof

simplicity,bewaseverythingthatcouldbewished;soexquisite

asubjectforimposition,thatitseemednexttoanimpossibility

nottoexercisemycraftuponsuchahandle.Hehadbeena

widowerfouryears,andhadtwochildren,asonfive-and-twenty,

andadaughterinhereleventhyear.Thegirl,broughtupbya

severeduenna,underthespiritualconductofFatherAlexis,

walkedinthehighroadofvirtue;butherbrother,Gaspard

Velasquez,thoughnopainshadbeensparedtomakeagoodmanof

him,pickedoutforhimselfallthevicesofayoungprofligate.

Sometimeshestayedawayfromhometwoorthreedaystogether;

andif,onhisreturn,hisfatherventuredtoremonstrateinthe

leastagainsthisproceedings,Gaspardshuthismouthatonce,

withahaughtytossofthehead,andanimpertinentanswer.

Scipio,saidtheoldmanoneday,mysonistheplagueofmy

life.Heisoverheadandearsinallkindsofdebauchery:and

yetthereisnoaccountingforit,sincehiseducationwasbyno

meansneglected.Ihavegivenhimtheverybestmasters;andmy

friendFatherAlexishasdonehisutmosttotrainhimupinthe

wayheshouldgo;buttherewasnobreakinghimin;Master

Gaspardranrestive,andboltedintodownrightlibertinism.You

mayperhapstellme,thatIsparedtherodandspoiledthechild.

Quiteotherwise!hewaspunishedwhenevertheoccasionseemedto

demandit;for,thoughgood-temperedatbottom,Iamnottobe

playedupon.Ihaveevengonesofarastolockhimup,butthat

onlymadehintmoreheadstrongthanbefore.Inshort,heisone

ofthoseimpracticablebeings,onwhomgoodexample,goodadvice,

andagoodhorsewhip,areequallythrownaway.Ifeverhemakes

anyfigureintheworld,itmustbebyamiraclefromheaven.

Thoughmyheartwasnotgrievouslywrungbythesorrowsofthis

unhappyfather,sympathywasexpectedfromme,andIcondoled

withhimaccordingly.Howmuchtobepitiedyouare,sir!saidI.

Virtueslikeyoursdeservedtohavebeenhandeddowninyour

progeny.Theeventisquitethereverse,mygoodlad,answered

he.Heavenheardmyprayer,andgavemeason,butconvertedthe

blessingintoanaffliction.Amongothergroundsofcomplaint

againstGaspard,Imaytellyouinconfidence,thereisonewhich

givesmeagreatdealofuneasiness;avastlongingtorobhis

oldfather,whichhetoooftenfindsthemeansofsatisfying,in

spiteofallmycaution.Yourpredecessorplayedintohishands,

andwasturnedawayinconsequence.Asforyou,Iflattermyself

thatmysonwillneverbeabletotamperwithyourhonesty.You

willtakemysideofthequestion;fordoubtlessFatherAlexis

hasgivenyouyourlessononthathead.Youmayrestassuredof

that,saidI;foragoodlonghourdidhisreverencelectureme

ondoingyourwillandpleasurewithoutletorhindrance;butI

canassureyou,therewasnoneedofhissayinganythingabout

thematter.Ifeelwithinmyselfasortofcalltoserveyou

faithfully,andIpromisetodoitwithazealbeyondallthe

temptationsoftheworldtoshakeorlessen.

Hewhoonlyhearsonesideisindangerofdecidingpartially.

YoungVelasquez,amixtureofthefribbleandthebraggart,

concludingfromthecutofmycountenancethatIwasmadeupof

mortalfrailtylikemydearpredecessor,drewmeasidetoasnug

corner,andtheretalkedtomeafterthisfashion.Nowmindwhat

issaidtoyou,mydearfellow;youmaythinkIdonotknowthat

youaresetasaspyuponmebymyfather;buttakeespecialcare

howyouproceed,forIcanassureyoumostsincerely,thatthe

officeisnotwithoutveryconsiderableinconveniencetothose

whoundertakeit.IfeverIfindthatyoutelltalesoutof

school,Iwillgiveyousuchabastingasyouneverhadinyour

life;butifyouwillmakecommoncausewithme,andafoolofmy

father,youmaybuygoldenreturnsofgratitudefromyourhumble

servant.Doyouwishmetodealwithyouuponthenail?Youshall

gosnacksinatthatwecansqueezeoutoftheoldfellow.You

haveonlytotakeyourchoice:fallatonceintotherankseither

offatherorson;forneutralswillcomeworseoff,wherethe

contendingpartiesfightfortheirexistence.

Sir,answeredI,youmaketheshoepinchverytight;itisself-evidentthatthereis

nothingformetodobuttoenlistunder

yourbanners,thoughinmyconscienceitseemslikeacryingsin

tobetraySignorVelasquez.Thatisnoconcernofyours,rejoined

Gaspard;heisanoldhunks,whowantstokeepmeunderhis

thumb;acurmudgeonwhorefusesmetherightsofnature,in

refusingtostandtotheexpensesandrepairsofmypleasures;

forpleasuresarethenecessariesoflifeatfive-and-twenty.It

isinthispointofviewthatyoumustformyouropinionofmy

father.Ifthatisthecase,sobeit,sir,saidI;thereisno

standingagainstsojustasubjectofcomplaint.Iamquiteat

yourservicetoplaysecondfiddleinallyourlaudable

enterprises;butletustakeespecialcaretoconcealourgood

understanding,forfearyourfaithful,humbleservantshouldbe

kickedoutofdoors.Itwillnotbeamiss,inmypooropinion,

foryoutoaffectanextremeantipathyagainstme:somegood

roundofabusewouldhaveaveryprettyeffect;youneednotbe

nice;alltheblackguardtermsinthedictionarywillcomeat

yourcall.Nay,aboxontheearnowandthen,orakickonthe

breech,willbreaknosquares;onthecontrary,themoreyou

expressyourthoroughdislike,themoreSignorBalthasarwillpin

hisfaithuponmysleeve.Mycuewillbe,apparentlytoavoid

speakingtoyouifpossible.Inwaitingattable,Ishallperform

mylittleattentionstoyouatarm’slength;andwheneveryour

honourmayhappentobecalledoverthecoalsbytheshopmen,you

mustnottakeitamissifIabuseyouworsethanapickpocket.

Asplainaschalkfromcheese!criedyoungVelasquezatthislast

hint;thisisadmirable,myfriend;atyourearlyage,itis

uncommontomeetwithsuchatalentforintrigue;Iconsiderit

asamosthappyomenformypurpose.Withsuchaperformerto

playuptome,Iflattermyselftheoldcodgerwillbepinchedto

theboneandleftpenniless.Youreallycarryyourgoodopinion

ofmebeyondwhatmymeritwilljustify,saidI;someindustry

mayfalltomyshare,butnotsuchexaltedgenius.ButIshalldo

myutmost;andifmyhonestendeavoursfail,yourcandourmost

findexcusesformyimbecility.

ItwasnotlongbeforeGaspardhadproofpositivethatIwastoa

hair’sbreadththeverymanhewanted;andthefollowingwas

preciselythefirsttrickIplayedintohishand.Balthasar’s

strongboxwasinthegoodman’schamber,byhisbedside,asort

oforatory,withaprayer-bookalwayslyinguponit.EverytimeI

lookedthatway,myeyesglistenedwithhopeandpleasure;my

heartchuckledovertheveryideaofwhatmighthappen:Fair,

sweet,cruelbox,willyouforeverbecoytomyaddresses?MayI

neverexperiencetheheartfeltdelightofpossessingallyour

charmsforbetter,forworse?AsIwentintotheroomat

pleasure,andonlyGaspardwaswarnedoffthepremises,it

happenedonedaythatIwatchedhisfather.Theoldgentleman,

fancyinghimselfunobservedofhumaneye,afterhavingopenedhis

treasuryandcloseditfastagain,hidthekeybehindthe

hangings.Itookanaccurateobservationoftheplace,and

communicatedthediscoverytomyyoungmaster,whosaidwithan

improvinghug:Ah!mydearScipio,whatgloriousnewsyoubring!

Ourfortuneismade,mydearfellow.Iwillfurnishyouwithwax;

youshalltaketheimpressionofthekey,andthenourbusiness

isdone,Therewillbenodifficultyinfindingabenevolent

locksmithinCordova,where,todotheplacejustice,thereare

asmanyroguesasinanypartofSpain.

Well!butwhy,saidItoGaspard,doyouwantafalsekey?Wemay

findouraccountintheproperone.Yes,answeredhe;butIam

afraidlestmyfather,throughmistrustorwhim,shouldtakea

fancytohidingitelsewhere;andthesafestwayis,tohaveone

ofourown.Icommendedhisprecaution,andfallinginwithall

hisprinciples,gotreadyfortakingtheimpressionofthekey:

thiswaseffectedonemorningearly,whilemyoldmasterwas

payingavisittoFatherAlexis,withwhomheforthemostpart

heldverylongconferences.Ididnotstophere;butavailed

myselfofthekeytoopenthestrongbox,whereinanamplerange

oflargeandsmallbagsthrewmeintothemostdelightful

perplexityimaginable.Ididnotknowwhichtochoose,therewas

suchafamilylikenessamongthem;nevertheless,asthefearof

beingcaughtdidnotallowofanylongdeliberation,Ilaid

hands,haphazard,onthelargest.Then,lockingthebox

carefully,andputtingthekeybackagainbehindthehangings,I

gotawayoutofthechamberwithmybooty,andhiditundermy

bed,inasmallclosetwhereIlay.

Havingperformedthisexploitsosuccessfully,Iranbackasfast

asmylegswouldcarrymetoyoungVelasquez,whowaswaitingat

ahousewherehehadgivenmenoticetomeethim,andhisdelight

wasextremeattherecitalofwhatIhadjustdone.Hewasso

fullysatisfiedwithme,astolavishcaresseswithoutnumber,

andtooffermethrice,inthefulnessofhisheart,halfthe

contentsofthebag,whichIdidthricerefuse.No,no,sir,said

I,thisfirstbagisyoursandyoursonly;applyittoyourown

usesandoccasions.Ishallreturnforthwithtothestrongbox,

where,asourluckystarshavecontrivedit,thereismoney

enoughforbothofus.Accordingly,threedaysafterwardsI

carriedoffasecondbag,containing,likethefirst,five

hundredcrowns,ofwhichIwouldonlyhandlethefourthpart,let

Gaspardbeaspressingashepleasedtoforceuponmeabrotherly

division,shareandsharealike.

Assoonasthisyoungmanfoundhimselfsoflushofmoney,and

consequentlyinaconditiontogratifyhishankeringafterwomen

andplay,hegavehimselfupentirelytothedevicesofhisown

imagination;nay,hisevilgeniuspursuedhimsofar,astomake

himfalldesperatelyinlovewithoneofthosefemaleharpies,

whodevourwithoutremorseorintermission,andswallowupthe

largestfortunes.Hisdisbursementsatherinstigationwere

frightful;andthusitbecamenecessaryformetopaysomany

visitstothestrongbox,thatoldVelasquezatlengthfoundout

hehadbeenrobbed.Scipio,saidheonemorning,Imustgiveyou

apieceofinformation;someonerobsme,myfriend;mystrong

boxhasbeenopened;severalbagshavebeentakenout,thatisa

certainfact.WhomoughtItoaccuseofthistheft?orrather,

whoelsebutmysoncanhavecommittedit?Gaspardmusthavegot

bystealthintomychamber,orelseyouyourselfmusthaveplayed

bootywithhim;forIamtemptedtobelieveyouareinleague

withhim,thoughtooutwardappearanceyoudonotsetupyour

horsestogether.AndyetIamunwillingtoharbourthat

suspicion,becauseFatherAlexisundertooktoanswerforyour

honesty.Igavehimtounderstandthat,bytheblessingofheaven

onagoodnaturaldisposition,myneighbours’goodshadno

temptationinmysight;andIsohappilysuitedtheactiontothe

lie,andthelietotheaction,thatmyjudgepronounceda

verdictofacquittalontheevidenceofgrimaceandhypocrisy.

Accordinglytheoldmandroppedthesubject;butforallthat,

therewasageneralmisgivinginhisbreast,anditwould

sometimeslightuponme;takingprecautions,therefore,against

ourfurtherattacks,hehadanewlockputtohisstrongboxand

alwayscarriedthekeyinhispocketBythesemeans,anembargo

beinglaidonourtrafficwiththebags,welookedexcessively

foolish,especiallyGaspard,who,beingunableanylongertokeep

hisnymphinherusualstyle,knewverywellthathewaslikely

tobetossedoutofherwindow.Hehad,however,inventionenough

todeviseanexpedientforkeepinghisheadabovewaterafew

dayslonger,andthatwasneithermorenorlessthantogetinto

hisclutches,intheformofaloan,mydividendonthejoint

stockofthestrongbox.Irefundedtothelastfarthing;and

thisrestitution,itistobehoped,maybesetoffasan

anticipatedactofjusticetotheolddraper,inthepersonof

hisheir.

Theyoungman,havingexhaustedthisscantysupply,anddesperate

ofanyother,fellintoadeepmelancholy,andintoultimate

derangement.Henolongerlookedonhisfatherinanyotherlight

thanasthebaneofhislife.Hisfrenzybrokeoutintothemost

dreadfulprojects;sothat,withoutlisteningtothevoiceof

consanguinityornature,thewretchconceivedtheimpiousdesign

ofpoisoninghim.Hewasnotcontentwithmakingmeprivytothe

atrociousdesign,butevenproposedtorendermetheinstrument

ofparricide.Attheverythought,mybloodrancoldwithinme.

Sir,saidI,isitpossiblethatyouaresorejectedofheavenas

tohaveformedthishorridplot?What!isitinyournatureto

murdertheauthorofyourexistence?ShallSpain,thefavoured

abodeoftheChristianfaith,bearwitnesstothecommissionofa

crime,atthefirstblushofwhichtransatlanticsavageswould

recoilwithhorror?No,mydearmaster,addedI,throwingmyself

onmyknees,no,youwillnotbeguiltyofanactionwhichwould

raisethehandofallmankindagainstyou,andbeovertakenbyan

infamouspunishment

IpressedmanyargumentsbesideonGaspard,todissuadehimfrom

sofearfulanenterprise.HowthedeuceIcamebyallthemoral

andreligioustopics,whichIbroughttoactagainstthefortress

ofhisdespair,ismorethanIcanaccountfor;butitiscertain

thatIpreachedlikeadoctorofSalamanca,thoughamere

stripling,bornofagipsyfortune-teller.Andyetitwastono

purposethatIsuggestedthedutyofcommuningwithhisown

betterresolutions,andstoutlywrestlingwiththefiend,whowas

lyinginwaitforhisimmortalsoul;mypiouseloquencewas

dissipatedintoair.Hisheadhungsullenlyonhisbosom,andhis

tongueutterednosound,inanswertoallmymollifying

exhortations,sothattherewaseveryreasontoconcludehewould

notswervefromhispurpose.

Hereupon,takingmyownmeasures,Irequestedaprivateinterview

withmyoldmaster;andbeingclosetedwithhim,Sir,saidI,

allowmetothrowmyselfatyourfeet,andtoimploreyourpity.

Inpatheticaccordwithmymovingaccents,Iprostratedmyself

beforehim,withmyfaceallbathedintears.Themerchant,

surprisedatwhathesawandheard,askedthecauseofmy

distress.Remorseofconscienceandrepentance,answeredI;but

neitherrepentancenorremorsecaneverwashoutmyguilt.Ihave

beenweakenoughtogiveeartoyourson,andtobehis

accompliceinrobbingyou.TothisconfessionIaddedasincere

acknowledgmentofallthathadhappened,withtheparticularsof

mylateconversationwithGaspard,whosedesignIlaidopen

withouttheleastreserve.

BadaswastheopinionwhicholdVelasquezentertainedofhis

son,hecouldscarcelybelievehisears.Nevertheless,findingno

goodreasontodistrustthetruthofmyaccount,Scipio,saidhe,

raisingmefromtheground,whereIhadtillnowbeenprostrate

athisfeet,Iforgiveyouinconsiderationoftheimportant

noticeyouhavecommunicated.Gaspard!pursuedhe,raisinghis

voiceuptotheloudnessofanguish,doesGaspardaimablowat

mylife!Ahlungratefulson,unnaturalmonster!betterthou

hadstneverbeenborn,orstifledatthybirth,thantohavebeen

rearedforthedestructionofthyfather!Whatplea,whatobject,

whatpalliationoftheatrociousdeed?Ifurnishedtheeannually

withareasonableallowanceforthypleasures,andwhatwouldst

thouhavemore?MustIhavedrainedmyfortunetothedregsto

supporttheeinthyextravagance?Havingventedhisfeelingsin

thisbitterapostrophe,heenjoinedsecrecyonme,andtoldmeto

leavehimalone,whilebeconsideredhowtoactinsodelicatea

conjuncture.

Iwasveryanxioustoknowwhatresolutionthisunhappyfather

wouldtake,whenonthatverydayhesentforGaspard,and

addressedhintthuswithoutbetrayingtheinwardemotionsofhis

heart:Myso;IhavereceivedaletterfromMerida,purporting

thatifyouaredisposedtomarry,youmaymakeamatchwitha

veryfinegirloffifteen,withahandsomefortuneinherpocket.

Ifyouhavenotforswornthathappyandholyestate,wewillset

outto-morrowmorningbydaybreakforMerida:youwillseethe

ladyinquestion,andifshehitsyourfancy,thebusinessmay

soonbesettled,Gaspard,prickinguphisearsatahandsome

fortune,andalreadyfingeringthecashbyanticipation,answered

unhesitatinglythathewasreadytoundertakethejourney;and

accordinglytheydepartedthefollowingdayatsunrise,without

attendants,mountedongoodmules.

HavingreachedthemountainsofFesira,inadelightfulspotfor

theoperationsofbanditti,butterror-stirringtothetimid

soulsoftravellers,Balthasardismounted,anddesiredhissonto

dolikewise.Theyoungmanobeyed,butexpressedhissurpriseat

sucharequisition,insolonelyaplace.Iwilltellyouthe

reasonpresently,answeredtheoldman,dartingathimalookof

mingledgriefandanger:WearenotgoingtoMerida;andthe

allegedcourtshipwasonlyaninventionofmine,forthepurpose

ofdrawingyouhither.Iamnotignorant,ungratefuland

unnaturalson,Iamnotuninformedofyourmeditatedcrime.Iam

awarethatapoison,preparedbyyourhands,wastohavebeen

administeredtome;but,madasyouare,coulditenterintoyour

contemplationthatmylifecouldhavebeeninvadedwithimpunity

bysuchmeans?Howfatallymistaken!Yourcrimewouldsoonhave

beendetected,andyouwouldhaveperishedunderthehandsofthe

executioner.Thereisasaferwayofgluttingyourfellmalice,

withoutexposingyourselftoanignominiousdeath;wearehere

withoutwitnesses,andinaplacewheredailymurdersare

perpetrated;sinceyouaresothirstyaftermyblood,plungeyour

daggerintomybosom:theassassinationwillnaturallybelaidat

thedoorofsomebanditti.Afterthesewords,Balthasar,laying

hisbreastbare,andpointingtohisheart,endedwiththis

challenge:Here,Gaspard,strikedeepenough,strikehome;make

mepaythatforfeitforhavingengenderedsuchadisgraceto

humannature,andnomorethanwhatisduetosomonstrousa

production,

YoungVelasquez,struckbythisreproachasbyathunderbolt,far

frompleadinginhisownjustification,fellinstantlylifeless

athisfather’sfeet.Thegoodoldman,hailingthegermof

repentanceinthisunfeignedtestimonyofshame,couldnothelp

yieldingtopaternalweakness;hemadeallpossiblehastetogive

hisassistance;butGaspardhadnosoonerrecoveredtheuseof

hissenses,thanunabletostandinthepresenceofafatherso

justlyoffended,hemadeanefforttoraisehimselffromthe

ground,thenspranguponhismule,andgallopedoutofsight

withoutsayingoneword.Balthasarsufferedhimtotakehisown

course,andreturnedtoCordova,littledoubtingbutconscience

wouldplayitspartinrevenginghiswrongs.Sixmonths

afterwardsitappearedthattheculprithadthrownhimselfinto

theCarthusianconventatSeville,theretopasstheremnantof

hisdaysinpenance.

CH.XII.—ConclusionofScipio’sstory.

BADexamplesometimesproducestheconverseofitself.The

behaviourofyoungVelasquezmademethinkseriouslyonmyown

predicament.Ibegantowrestlewithmythievishpropensities,

andtolivelikeoneofthebettersort.Aconfirmedhabitof

pouncinguponmoneywhereverIcouldgetit,hadbeencontracted

bysuchalongsuccessionofindividualacts,thatitwasnoeasy

mattertosaywhereitshouldstop.AndyetIwasinhopesto

accomplishmyownreformation,undertheideathattobecome

virtuousamanhadnothingtodobuttocontractthedesireof

beingso.Ithereforeundertookthisgreatwork,andheaven

seemedtosmileuponmyefforts:Ileftoffeyeingtheold

draper’sstrongboxwiththecarnalregardofavariciouslonging:

nay,Iverilybelieve,thatifithaddependedonmyownwilland

pleasuretohaveturnedoverthecontentstomyownuse,Ishould

haveabstainedfromthecrimeofpickingandstealing.Itmust,

however,beadmitted,thatitwouldhavebeenanunadvisable

measuretotemptmynew-bornintegritywithmeatstoostrongfor

itsstomach:andVelasquezwasnurseenoughtokeepmeona

properdiet.

DonManriquezdeMedrano,ayounggentleman,knightofAlcantara,

wasinthehabitofcomingbackwardsandforwardstoourhouse.

Hewasacustomer,oneofourprincipalinpointofrank,ifnot

punctualinpointofpay.Ihadthehappinesstofindfavourwith

thisknight,whonevermetmewithoutthatsortofnoticewhich

encouragedconversation,andwiththatconversationheappeared

alwaystobeverymuchpleased.Scipio,saidhe,oneday,ifI

hadafootmanofyourkidney,itwouldbeasgoodasafortuneto

me,andifyouwerenotintheserviceofamanwhostandsso

highinmyregards,Ishouldmakenoscrupleaboutenticingyou

away.Sir,answeredI,youwouldhaveverylittletroublein

succeeding;forIamdistractedlypartialtopeopleoffashion;

itismyweakside;theirfreeandeasymannersfascinatemeto

theextremeoffolly.Thatbeingthecase,repliedDonManriquez,

IwillatoncebegSignorBalthasartoturnyouoverfromhis

householdtomine:hewillscarcelyrefusemesucharequest.

AccordinglyVelasquezwaskindandcomplying,withsomuchthe

lessviolencetohisownprivatefeelings,asthereseemedno

reasontothink,thatifamanpartedwithoneknavishservant,

hemightnoteasilygetanotherinhisplace.Tomethechange

wasallforthebetter,sinceatradesman’sserviceappearedbut

abeggarlyconditionincomparisonwiththeofficeofownmanto

aknightofAlcantara.

Todrawafaithfullikenessofmynewmaster,Imustdescribehim

asagentlemanpossessingeveryrequisiteofperson,figure,

manners,anddisposition.Norwasthatall;forhiscourageand

honourwereequaltohisotherqualities:thegoodsoffortune

weretheonlygoodthingshewanted,butbeingtheyoungersonof

afamilymoredistinguishedbydescentthanopulence,hewas

obligedtodrawforhisexpensesonanoldauntlivingatToledo,

wholovedhimasherownchild,andadministeredtohisoccasions

withaffectionateliberality.Hewasalwayswelldressed,and

everywherewellreceived.Hevisitedtheprincipalladiesinthe

city,andamongotherstheMarchionessofAlmenara.Shewasa

widowofseventy-two,butthecentreofattractiontoallthe

fashionablesocietyofCordova,bytheeleganceofhermanners

andthesprightlinessofherconversation:menaswellaswomen

laidthemselvesoutforanintroduction,becauseherparties

conferredatonceonthefrequentersthepatentofgoodcompany.

Mymasterwasoneofthatlady’smostassiduouscourtiers.After

leavingheroneevening,hisspiritsseemedtobemoreelevated

thanwasnaturaltohim.Sir,saidI,youareevidentlyinagood

dealofagitation;mayyourfaithfulservantaskonwhataccount?

Hasanythinghappenedoutofthecommonway?Theyounggallant

smiledatsohomeaquestion,andownedcandidlythathehadjust

beenengagedinaseriousconversationwiththeMarchionessof

Almenara.Iwilllayawage;saidI,laughingoutright,thatthis

moppetofthreescoreandten,thisgirlinhersecondchildhood,

hasbeenunfoldingtoyouallthesecretmovementsofatender,

susceptibleheart.Donotmakeajestofit,answeredhe;forthe

factis,myfriend,thattheMarchionessisseriouslyinlove

withme.Shetoldmethatthenarrownessofmycircumstanceswas

aswellknowntoherasthenobilityofmybirth;thatshehad

takenalikingtome,andwasdeterminedtoplacemeatmyease

bymarriage,sinceshecouldnotdecentlylayherfortuneatmy

feetonanyotherterms.Thatthismarriagewouldexposeherto

publicridicule,sheprofessedtohaveconsidered;thatscandal

wouldbebusyatherexpense;inshort,thatsheshouldpassfor

anoldfoolwithanambitiouseyeandaliquorishconstitution.

Nomatterforthat!Shewasnottobeawedfromthecareerofher

humourbyquipsandsentences:heronlyalarmwas,lestIshould

eithermakesportofherintentions,ortormenthermore

grievouslybymyaversion.

Such,continuedtheknight,wasthesubstanceofthe

Marchioness’sdeclaration,andIamthemoreastonishedatit,

becausesheisthemostprudentandsensiblewomaninCordova;

whereforeIansweredbyexpressingmysurpriseatherhonouring

mewiththeofferofherhand,sinceshehadhithertopersisted

inherresolutionofremaininginastateofwidowhood.Tothis

shereplied,thathavingaconsiderablefortune,itwouldgive

herpleasuretoshareitinherlifetimewithamanofhonourto

whomshewasattached.Toallappearancethen,rejoinedI,you

havemadeupyourmindtotakealover’sleap.Canyoudoubt

aboutthat?answeredhe.TheMarchionessisimmenselyrich,with

excellentqualitiesbothofheadandheart.Itwouldbethe

extremeoffollyandfastidiousnesstoletsoadvantageousa

settlementslipthroughmyfingers.

Ientirelyapprovedmymaster’spurposeofprofitingbysofine

anopportunitytomakehisfortune,andevenadvisedhimtobring

themattertoashortissue,forfearofachangeinthewind.

Happilytheladyhadthebusinessmoreatheartthanmyself;her

ordersweregivensoeffectually,thatthenecessaryformsand

ceremoniesweresoongotover.WhenitbecameknowninCordova

thattheoldMarchionessofAlmenarawasgettingherselfreadyto

bethebrideofyoungDonManriquezdeMedrano,thewitsbegan

breakingtheiroddquirksandremnantsinderisionofthewidow;

butthoughsheheardherowndetractions,shedidnotputthemto

mending;thetownmighttalkastheypleased;forwhenshesaid

shewoulddieawidow,shedidnotthinktolivetillshewere

married.Theweddingwassolemnizedwithapublicityand

splendourwhichfurnishedfreshfoodforeviltongues.Thebride,

saidthey,mightatleasthavehadthemodestytodispensewith

noiseandostentation,sounbecominginanoldwidowwhomarries

ayounghusband.

TheMarchioness,farenoughfromyieldingtothesuggestionsof

shameatherowninconsistency,orthedisparityoftheirages,

yieldedherselfupwithoutconstrainttotheexpressionofthe

mostlivelyjoy.Shegaveagrandconcertandsupper,withaball

afterwards,andinvitedalltheprincipalfamiliesinCordova.

Justbeforethecloseoftheball,thenew-marriedcouple

disappeared,andwereshewntoanapartment,where,withnoother

witnessesbutherownmaidandmyselfshespoketomymasterin

theseterms:—DonManriquez,thisisyourapartment;mineisin

anotherpartofthehouse:wewillpassthenightinseparate

rooms,andwilllivetogetherbydaylikemotherandson.At

firsttheknightdidnotknowwhattomakeofthis;hethought

thattheladywasonlytryinghistemper,asifhercoldnessmust

bewooedtokindness,andherlove,likeherpardon,not

unsought,bewon.Imagining,therefore,thatgoodmanners

required,atleast,theshewofpassion,hemadehisadvances,

andoffered,accordingtothelawsofamoroussuitenactedin

suchcases,toassistinthedisencumberingdutiesofhertoilet;

but,sofarfromallowinghimtointerferewiththeprovinceof

herservant,shepushedhimbackwithaseriousair,saying:

Hold,DonManriquez;ifyoutakemeforoneofthosesweet-toothedoldwomenwhomarryasecondtimefrommereincontinence,

youdomeamanifestinjustice:myproposalswerenotfraught

withconditionsofhardserviceasthetenureofournuptial

contract;thegiftofmyheartwasunmixedwithsensualdross,

andyourgratitudeisonlydrawnuponforreturnsofpureand

platonicfriendship.Afterthisexplanation,sheleftmymaster

andmeinourapartment,andwithdrewtoherownwithher

attendant,forbiddingthebridegroom,inthemostpositive

manner,toattemptretiringwithher.

Afterherdeparture,itwassometimebeforewerecoveredfrom

oursurpriseatwhatwehadjustheard.Scipio,saidmymaster,

couldyoueverhavebelievedthattheMarchionesswouldhave

talkedinsuchastrain?Whatthinkyouofsophilosophica

bride?Ithink,sir,answeredI,thatsheisaphoenixamongthe

broodofHymen.Itisforalltheworldlikeagoodliving

withoutparochialduties.Formypart,repliedDonManriquez,

thereisnothingsomuchtomytasteasawifeofmodest

pretensions;andImeantomakeheramendsforthetrophyshehas

raisedtounadulteratedesteem,byallthedelicateattentionsin

mypowertopay.Wekeptupthesubjectofthelady’smoderation

tillitwasfulltimetoseparate.Myquarterswerefixedinan

anteroomwithabookcasebedstead;mymaster’sinanelegant

bedchamberwitheveryappurtenanceexceptone:buthowever

necessaryitmightbetoplaythedisappointedbridegroom,Iam

muchmistakenifinthebottomofhissoulhewashalfsomuch

afraidofsleepingbyhimselfasofbeingencumberedwithabed-fellow.

Therejoicingsbeganagainonthefollowingday,andthebride

wassojocundontheoccasion,thattheboltsofthefoolsamong

hervisitorswerenotsoonshot.Shewasthefirsttolaughat

alltheirpointlessjokes;nay,sheevensetthelittlewitsto

work,bygivingthemanexampleofpleasantry,whichtheywere

verylittleabletofollow.Thehappyman,onhispart,seemedto

beverylittlelesshappythanhispartner;andonewouldhave

sworn,judgingbytheglanceofsatisfactionwhichaccompanied

hislanguageanddeportment,thathelikedmuttonbetterthan

lamb.Thiswell-matchedpairhadasecondconversationinthe

evening;andthenitwasdecidedthatwithoutinterferinginthe

leastwithoneanother,theyshouldlivetogetherjustonthe

samefootingastheyhadlivedbeforemarriage.Atallevents,

muchcreditmustbegiventoDonManriquezononeaccount:he

did,fromdelicateconsiderationtowardshiswife,whatfew

husbandswouldhavedoneunderhiscircumstances,forhe

discardedalittlesempstressofwhomhewasveryfond,andwho

wasveryfondofhim,becausehedidnotchoosetokeepupa

connectioninsultingtothefeelingsofaladysostudiousof

his.

Whilehewasfurnishingsuchunusualtestimoniesofgratitudeto

hiselderlybenefactress,sheoverpaidanddoublypaidherdebt

ofobligation,evenwithoutdivingintoitsnatureorextent.She

gavehimthemasterkeyofherstrongbox,whichwasbetter

providedthanthatofVelasquez.Thoughshehadreducedher

establishmentduringwidowhood,itwasnowreplaceduponthesame

footingasinthelifetimeofherfirsthusband;thecomplement

ofhouseholdservantswasenlarged,thestudandequipageswere

intheveryfirststyle;inaword,byhergenerosityand

kindness,themostbeggarlyknightbelongingtotheorderof

Alcantarabecamethemostmoniedmemberofthefraternity.You

mayperhapsbedisposedtoaskme,howmuchIwasinpocketby

allthat;andmyansweris,fiftypistolesfrommymistress,and

ahundredfrommymaster,who,moreover,appointedmehis

secretary,withasalaryoffourhundredcrowns;nay,his

confidencewassounbounded,thatIwasfixedontofillthe

officeoftreasurer.

Treasurer!criedI,interruptingScipioattheveryidea,and

burstingintoanimmoderatefitoflaughter.Yes,sir,replied

he,withacool,unflinchingseriousness;youareperfectly

right,treasurerwastheword;andImayventuretosaythatthe

dutiesoftheofficewereexecutedwithouttheslightestoccasion

foracommitteeofinquiry.Trueitisthatthebalancemaybe

somewhatagainstme,forIwasalwaysinthehabitofoverdrawing

mywages;andasthefirmwasdissolvedsomewhatsuddenly,itis

bynomeansimpossiblethatthebalanceofmycashaccountmight

beonthewrongside:but,atallevents,itwasmylastslip;

andsincethattimemywayshavebeenwaysofuprightnessand

honesty.

ThuswasI,continuedthissonofagipsy,secretaryand

treasurertoDonManriquez,who,toallappearance,wasashappy

inmeasIinhim,whenhereceivedaletterfromToledo,

announcingthathisaunt,DonnaTheodoraMoscoso,wasonherlast

legs.Hewassomuchaffectedbythenews,astosetout

instantlyandpayhisdutytothatlady,whohadbeenmorethana

mothertohimforseveralyears.Iattendedhimonthejourney

withonlytwounder-servants;wewereallmountedonthebest

horsesinthestable,andreachedToledowithoutlossoftime,

wherewefoundDonnaTheodorainastatetowarrantourhopes

thatshewouldnot,atpresent,weighanchoronheroutwardbound

voyage;and,infact,ourjudgmentonhercase,thoughpoint

blankincontradictiontothatofanoldphysicianwhoattended

her,provedbytheeventthatweknewatleastasmuchofthe

matterashedid.

Whilethehealthofourvenerablerelativewasimprovingfromday

today,less,perhaps,fromtheeffectoftheprescriptionsthan

inconsequenceofherdearnephew’spresence,yourworthyfriend

thetreasurerpassedhistimeinthepleasantestmannerpossible,

withsomeyoungpeoplewhoseacquaintancewasadmirably

calculatedtoventilatetheconfinedcashinhispocket.

Sometimestheyenticedmetothetennis-court,andtookmeinfor

agame:onthoseoccasions,notbeingquitesosteadyaplayeras

mymaster,DonAbel,IlostmuchoftenerthanIwon.Bydegrees

playbecameapassionwithme;andifthetastehadbeensuffered

togaincompletepossession,itwoulddoubtlesshavelaidme

underthenecessityofdrawingbillsofaccommodationonthe

familybank;buthappilylovesteppedin,andsavedthecredit

bothofthebankandofmyprinciples.Oneday,passingalong

nearthechurchoftheEpiphany,Iespiedthroughalatticewith

thedraperydrawnup,ayounggirlwhomightwellbecalleda

thingdivine,fornothingnaturalwaseverseensolovely.I

wouldlayonmycomplimentstillthicker,ifwordswerenot

wantingtoexpresstheeffectofherfirstappearanceuponmy

mind.Isetmywitstowork,andbydintofdiligentinquiry,

learnedthathernamewasBeatrice,andthatshewaswaiting-maid

toDonnaJulia,youngerdaughteroftheCountdePolan.

BeatricebrokeinuponthethreadofScipio’sstorybylaughing

immoderately:then,directingherspeechtomywife,Charming

Antonia,saidshe,dobutjustlookatme,Ibeseechyou,and

thensaytruly,whetherIcouldbelikenedtoathingdivine.You

mightatthattime,tomyenamouredsight,saidScipio;and,

sinceyourconjugalfaithisnolongerunderacloud,myvisual

appetiteincreasesbywhatitfeedson.Itwasapretty

compliment!andmysecretary,havingfireditoff,pursuedhis

narrativeasfollows.

Thisintelligencekindledtheflameofpassionwithinme;but

not,itmustbeconfessed,aflamewhichcouldbeacknowledged

withoutablush.Itookitforgrantedthatmytriumphoverher

scrupleswouldbeeasyifmybiddingswerehighenoughtocommand

theordinarymarketoffemalechastity;butBeatricewasapearl

beyondprice.InvaindidIsolicither,throughthechannelof

someintriguinggossips,withtheofferofmypurseandofmy

mosttenderattentions;sherejectedallmyproposalswith

disdain.Ihadrecoursetothelover’slastremedy,andoffered

hermyhand,whichshedeignedtoacceptonthestrengthofmy

beingsecretaryandtreasurertoDonManriquez.Asitseemed

expedienttokeepourmarriagesecretforsometime,theceremony

wasperformedprivately,inpresenceofDameLorenzaSephora,

Seraphina’sgoverness,andbeforesomeothersoftheCountde

Polan’shousehold.Afterourhappyunion,Beatricecontrivedthe

meansofourmeetingbyday,andpassingsomepartofeverynight

togetherinthegarden,whitherIrepairedthroughalittlegate

ofwhichshegavemeakey.Neverweremanandwifebetter

pleasedwitheachotherthanBeatriceandmyself:withequal

impatiencedidwewatchforthehourofourappointment;with

congenialemotionsofeagersensibilitydidwehastentothe

spot,andthemomentswhichwepassedtogether,thoughcountless

fromtheirnumberinthecalendarofcoldindifference,tous

werefewandfleeting,incomparisonwiththateternityofmutual

blissforwhichwepanted.

Onenight,anightwhichshouldbeexpungedfromthealmanac,a

nightofdarknessanddespair,contrastedwiththebrightnessof

allourformernights,Iwassurprisedonapproachingthegarden,

tofindthelittlegateopen.Thisunusualcircumstancealarmed

me;foritseemedtoaugursomethinginauspicioustomy

happiness:Iturnedpaleandtrembled,asifwithaforeknowledge

ofwhatwasgoingtohappen.Advancinginthedarktowardsa

bower,whereourprivatemeetingshadusuallytakenplace,I

heardaman’svoice.Istoppedontheinstanttolisten,whenthe

followingwordsstrucklikethesoundofdeathuponmyear:Do

notkeepmelanguishinginsuspense,mydearBeatrice;makemy

happinesscomplete,andconsiderthatyourownfortunesare

closelyconnectedwithmine.Insteadofhavingpatiencetohear

further,itseemedasifmorehadbeensaidthanbloodcould

expiate;thatdevil,jealousy,tookpossessionofmysoul;Idrew

mysword,andbreathingonlyvengeance,rushedintothebower.

Ah!baseseducer,criedI,whoeveryouare,youshalltearthis

heartfromoutmybreast,ratherthantouchmyhonouronits

tenderestpoint.Withthesewordsonmylips,Iattackedthe

gentlemanwhowastalkingwithBeatrice.Hestooduponhisguard

withoutmoreado,likeamanmuchbetteracquaintedwiththe

scienceofarmsthanmyself,whohadonlyreceivedafewlessons

fromafencing-masteratCordova.Andyet,strongashissword-armwas,Imadeathrustwhichhecouldnotparry,orwhatis

morelikely,hisfootslipped:Isawhimfall;andfancyingthat

Ihadwoundedhimmortally,ranawayashardasmylegscould

carryme,withoutdeigningtoanswerBeatrice,whowouldhave

calledmeback.

Yes,indeed!saidScipio’swife,resolvedtohavehersharein

thedevelopmentofthestory;Icalledoutforthepurposeof

undeceivinghim.Thegentlemanconversingwithmeinthearbour

wasDonFerdinanddeLeyva.Thisnobleman,whowasinlovewith

mymistressJulia,hadlaidaplanforrunningawaywithher,

fromdespairofbeingabletoobtainherhandbyanyothermeans;

andIhadmyselfmadethisassignationwithhiminthegarden,to

concertmeasuresfortheelopement,andwithhisfortunehe

assuredmethatmyownwascloselylinked;butitwasinvain

thatIscreamedaftermyhusband;hedartedfrommeasifmyvery

touchwerecontamination.

Insuchastateofmind,resumedScipio,Iwascapableof

anything.Thosewhoknowbyexperiencewhatjealousyis,into

whatextravaganceitdrivesthebest-regulatedspirits,willbe

atnolosstoconceivethedisorderitmusthaveproducedinmy

weakbrain.Ipassedinamomentfromoneextremetoanother:

emotionsofhatredsucceededinstantaneouslytoallmyformer

sentimentsofaffectionformywife.Itookanoathnevertosee

hermore,andtobanishherforeverfrommymemory.Besides,the

supposeddeathofamanlayuponmyconscience;andunderthat

idea,Iwasafraidoffallingintothehandsofjustice;sothat

everytormentwhichcouldbeaccumulatedontheheadofguiltand

miserybythefuryofdespairandthedemonofremorse,wasthe

remedilesscompanionofmywretchedflightInthisdreadful

situation,thinkingonlyofmyescape,Ireturnedhomenomore,

butimmediatelyquittedToledo,withnootherprovisionformy

journeybuttheclothesonmyback.Itistrue,Ihadaboutsixty

pistolesinmypocket;atolerablesupplyforayoungman,whose

viewsinlifepointednohigherthanagoodservice.

Iwalkedforwardallnight,orratherran,forthephantomofan

alguazilalwaysdoggingmeattheheelsmademeperformwonders

ofpedestrianactivity.ThedawnovertookmebetweenRodillasand

Maqueda.WhenIwasatthelattertown,findingmyselfalittle

weary,Iwentintothechurchwhichwasjustopened,andhaving

putupashortprayer,satdownonabenchtorest.Ibegan

musingonthestateofmyaffairs,whichweresufficientlyoutat

elbowstorequireallmyskillinpatch-work,butthetimefor

reflectionaswellasforrepentancewerecutshort.Thechurch

echoedonasuddenwiththreeorfoursmacksofawhip,which

mademeconcludethatsomecarrierwasontheroad.Iimmediately

gotuptogoandseewhetherIwasrightorwrong.AtthedoorI

foundaman,mountedonamule,leadingtwoothersbythehalter.

Stop,myfriend,saidI,whitherarethosetwomulesgoing?To

Madrid,answeredhe.IcamehitherwithtwogoodDominicans,and

amnowsettingoutonmyreturn.

SuchanopportunityofgoingtoMadridgavemeanitchingdesire

fortheexpedition:Imademybargainwiththemuleteer,jumped

upononeofhismules,andawaywescamperedtowardsIlescas,

whereweweretoputupforthenight.Scarcelywereweoutof

Maquedabeforethemuleteer,amanfromfive-and-thirtytoforty,

beganchantingthechurchservicewithamostcollegiatetwang.

Thistrialofhislungsbeganwithmatins,inthedrowsytoneof

acanonbetweenasleepandawake;thenheroaredouttheBelief;

alternatelyincontralto,tenor,andbass,inalltheharmonious

confusionofhighmass;andnotcontentwiththat,herangthe

bellforvespers,withoutsparingmeasinglepetitionorsomuch

asabarofthemagnificat.Thoughthescoundrelalmostcracked

thedrumofmyear,Icouldnothelplaughingheartily;andeven

eggedhimontomakethewelkinreverberatewithhishallelujahs,

whentheanthemwassuspendedafewrests,forthenecessary

purposeofsupplyingwindtotheorgan.Courage,myfriend!said

I;goonandprosper.Ifheavenhasgivenyouagoodcapacious

throat,youareneitheraniggardnoraperverterofitsprecious

boon.Oh!certainlynotforthematterofthat,criedhe;happily

formyimmortalsoul,Iamnotlikecarriersingeneral,whosing

nothingbutprofanesongsaboutloveordrinking:Idonoteven

defilemylipswithballadsonourwarsagainsttheMoors:such

subjectsareatleastlightandunedifying,ifnotlicentiousand

impure.Youhave,repliedI,anevangelicalpurityofheartwhich

belongsonlytotheelectamongmuleteers.Withthisexcessive

squeamishnessofyoursaboutthechoiceofyourmusic,haveyou

alsotakenavowofcontinence,whereverthereisayoungbar-maidtobepickedupataninn?Assuredly,rejoinedhe,chastity

isalsoavirtuebywhichitismypridetowardoffthe

temptationsoftheroad,wheremyonlybusinessistolookafter

mymules.Iwasinnosmalldegreeastonishedatsuchpious

sentimentsfromthisprodigyofpsalm-singingmule-drivers;so

thatlookinguponhimasamanabovethevanitiesandcorruptions

ofthisnetherworld,Ifellintochatwithhimafterhehadgone

thelengthofhistetherinsinging.

WegottoIlescaslateintheday.Onenteringtheinn-yard,I

leftthecareofthemulestomycompanion,andwentintothe

kitchen,whereIorderedthelandlordtogetusagoodsupper,

whichhepromisedtoperformsomuchtomysatisfaction,asto

makemerememberallthedaysofmylifewhatusagetravellers

meetwithathishouseAs,addedhe,nowonlyaskyourcarrier

whatsortofamanIam.Byallthepowersofseasoning!Iwould

defythebestcookinMadridorToledotomakeanolioatallto

becomparedtomine.Ishalltreatyouthiseveningwithsome

stewedrabbitafterareceiptofmyown;youwillthensee

whetheritisanyboasttosaythatIknowhowtosendupa

supper.Thereupon,shewingmeastew-panwithayoungrabbit,as

hesaid,cutupintopieces:There,continuedhe,iswhatImean

tofavouryouwith.WhenIshallhavethrowninalittlepepper,

somesalt,wine,ahandfulofsweetherbs,andafewother

ingredientswhichIkeepformyownsauces,youmaydependon

sittingdowntosuchadishaswouldnotdisgracethetableofa

chancellororanarchbishop.

Thelandlord,havingthusdonejusticetohisownmerits,began

toworkuponthematerialshehadprepared.Whilehewas

labouringinhisvocation,Iwentintoaroom,wherelyingdown

onasortofcouch,Ifellfastasleepthroughfatigue,having

takennorestthenightbefore,inthespaceofabouttwohours,

themuleteercameandawakenedme,withtheinformationthat

supperwasready,andapressingrequesttotakemyplaceat

table.Theclothwaslaidfortwo,andwesatdowntothehashed

rabbit.Iplayedmyknifeandforkmostmanfully,findingthe

flavourdelicious,whetherfromtheforceofhungerin

communicatingacandidmodeofinterpretationtomypalate,or

fromthenaturaleffectoftheingredientscompoundedbythe

cook.Ajointofroastmuttonwasnextservedup.Itwas

remarkablethatthecarrieronlypaidhisrespectstothislast

article;andIaskedhimwhyhehadnottakenhisshareofthe

other.Heansweredwithasuppressedsmile,thathewasnotfond

ofmadedishes.Thisreason,orrathertheturnofcountenance

withwhichitwasalleged,seemedtoimplymorethanwas

expressed.Youhavenottoldme,saidI,therealmeaningofyour

noteatingthefricassee:dohavethegoodnesstoexplainitat

once.Sinceyouaresocurioustobemadeacquaintedwithit,

repliedhe,ImustownthatIhaveaninsuperableaversionto

crammingmystomachwithmeatsinmasquerade,sinceoneevening

ataninnontheroadbetweenToledoandCuen�a,theyservedme

up,insteadofawildrabbit,ahashoftamecat;enough,ofall

conscience,everaftertosetmyintestinesinbattle-array

againstallminces,stews,andforce-meats.

Nosoonerhadthemuleteerletmeintothissecret,thaninspite

ofthehungerwhichragedwithinme,myappetiteleftme

completelyinthelurch.Iconceived,inallthehorrorsof

extremeloathing,thatIhadbeeneatingacatdressedupasthe

doubleofarabbit;andthefricasseehadnolongeranypower

overmysenses,exceptbyproducingastronginclinationto

retch.Mycompaniondidnotlessenmytendencythatway,by

tellingmethattheinnkeepersinSpain,aswellasthepastry-cooks,wereverymuchinthehabitofmakingthatsubstitution.

Thedriftoftheconversationwas,asyoumayperceive,verymuch

inthenatureofalenitivetomystomach;somuchso,thatIhad

nomindtomeddleanymorewiththedishofundefinables,nor

eventomakeanattackupontheroastmeat,forfearthemutton

shouldhaveperformeditsdutybydeputyaswellastherabbit.I

jumpedupfromtable,cursingthecookery,thecook,andthe

wholeestablishment;then,throwingmyselfdownuponthesofa,I

passedthenightwithlessnauseathanmightreasonablyhavebeen

expected.Thedayfollowingwiththedawn,afterhavingpaidthe

reckoningwithasprincelyanairasifwehadbeentreatedlike

princes,awaywentIfromIlescas,bearingmyfacultiesso

stronglyimpregnatedwithfricassee,thatItookeveryanimal

whichcrossedtheroad,ofwhateverspeciesordimensions,fora

cat.

WegottoMadridbetimes,whereIhadnosoonersettledwithmy

carrierthanIhiredaready-furnishedlodgingneartheSungate.

Myeyes,thoughaccustomedtothegreatworld,werenevertheless

dazzledbytheconcourseofnobilitywhichwasordinarilyseenin

thequarterofthecourt.Iadmiredtheprodigiousnumberof

carriages,andthecountlesslistofgentlemen,pages,

gentlemen’sgentlemen,andplain,downrightfootmeninthetrain

ofthegrandees.Myadmirationexceededallbounds,ongoingto

theking’slevee,andbeholdingthemonarchinthemidstofhis

court.Theeffectofthescenewasenchanting,andIsaidto

myself,Itisnowondertheyshouldsaythatonemustseethe

courtofMadridtoformanadequateideaofitsmagnificence:I

amdelightedtohavedirectedmycoursehither,andfeelasort

ofpresciencewithinmethatIshallnotcomeawaywithouttaking

fortunebysurprise.Icaughtnothingnapping,however,butmy

ownprudence,inmakingsomethriftless,expensiveacquaintance.

Mymoneyoozedawayintherapidthawofmyproprietyandbetter

judgment,sothatitbecameameasureofexpedientdegradationto

throwawaymytranscendentmeritonapedagogueofSalamanca,

whomsomefamilylawsuitorotherconcernhadbroughttoMadrid,

wherehewasborn,andwherechance,morewhimsicalthanwise,

thrustmewithinthehorizonofhisknowledge.Ibecamehisright

hand,hisprimeprincipalagent;anddoggedhimattheheelsto

theuniversitywhenhereturnedthither.

MynewemployerwentbythenameofDonIgnaciodeIpigna.He

furnishedhimselfwiththehandleofdon,inasmuchashehadbeen

tutortoanoblemanofthefirstrank,whohadrecompensedhis

earlyserviceswithanannuityforlife:helikewisederiveda

snuglittlesalaryfromhisprofessorshipintheuniversity;and

inadditiontoallthis,laidthepublicunderayearly

contributionoftwoorthreehundredpistolesforbooksof

uninstructivemorality,whichheprotrudedfromthepress

periodicallybyweightandmeasure.Themannerinwhichheworked

uptheshredsandpatchesofhiscompositiondeservesanotice

somewhatmorethancursory.Theheavyhoursoftheforenoonwere

spentinmuzzingoverHebrew,Greek,andLatinauthors,andin

writingdownuponlittlesquaresofcardeverypithysentenceor

strikingthoughtwhichoccurredinthemorning’sreading.

AccordingtotheprogressofthisliteraryPam,inwinningtricks

fromtheancients,heemployedmetoscoreuphishonoursinthe

formofanApollo’swreath:thesemetaphysicalgarlandswere

strunguponwire,andeachgarlandmadeapocketvolume.Whatan

execrablehashofwholesomeviandsdidwecookup!The

commandmentssetatloggerheadswithanutterconfusionof

tables;Epicureanconclusionsgraftedonstoicalpremises!Tully

quotingEpictetus,andSenecasupportinghisantithesesonthe

authorityofmonkishrhyme!Scarcelyamonthelapsedwithoutour

puttingforthatleasttwovolumes,sothatthepresswaskept

continuallygroaningundertheweightofourtransgressions.What

seemedmostextraordinaryofall,wasthattheseliterary

larcenieswerepalmeduponthepurchasersforspickandspannew

wares,andif,byanystrangeandimprobablechance,athick-headedcriticshouldstumblewithhisnoddlesmackagainstsome

palpableplagiarism,theauthorwouldpleadguiltytothe

indictment,andmakeameritofservingupatsecond-hand

WhatGelliusorStobaeushash’dbefore,

Thoughchewedbyblindoldscholiastso’erando’er.

Hewasalsoagreatcommentator;andfilledhisnoteschuckfull

ofsomucherudition,astomultiplywholepagesofdiscussion

uponwhathomelycommon-sensewouldhaveconsignedtothebrief

alternativeofaquery:

DisputesofMeorTe,orAutatAt,

TosoundorsinkincanoOorA,

OrgiveupCicerotoCorK.

Asalmosteveryauthor,ethicalanddidactic,fromHesioddownto

himself,tookhisturntodangleonsomeoneorotherofour

manuscriptgarlands,itwasimpossibleformenottosuckin

somewhatofsagenurturefromsocopiousastreamofphilosophy:

itwouldberankingratitudetoshiftoffmyobligation.Myhandwritingalsobecamestrictlyanddecidedlylegible,bydintof

continualtranscription;myestatewasmorethatofapupilthan

ofaservant,andmymoralswerenotneglected,whilemymindwas

polished,andmyfacultiesraisedabovetheirformerlevel.

Scipio,heusedtosay,whenhechancedtohearofanyserving

ladwithmorecunningthanhonestyinhisdealings,beware,my

goodboy,howyoutakeaftertheevilexampleofthatgraceless

villain.“Thehonourofaservantishisfidelity;hishighest

virtuesaresubmissionandobedience.Bestudiousofthymaster’s

interests,bediligentinhisaffairs,andfaithfultothetrust

whichhereposethinthee.Thytimeandthylabourbelongunto

him.Defraudhimnotthereof;forhepayeththeeforthem.”To

sumupall,DonIgnaciolostnoopportunityofleadingmeonin

thepathofvirtue,andhisprudentcounselssanksodeepintomy

heart,astokeepunderanythinglikeeventheslightestwishof

playinghimarogue’strickduringthefifteenmonthswhichI

spentinhisservice.

IhavealreadymentionedthatDoctordeIpignawasanativeof

Madrid.Hehadarelationthere,bynameCatalina,waiting-maid

totheladywhoofficiatedasnursetotheheir-apparent.This

abigail,thesamethroughwhoseinterventionIgotSignorde

SantillanereleasedfromthetowerofSegovia,intenton

renderingaservicetoDonIgnacio,prevailedwithhermistress

topetitiontheDukeofLermaforsomepreferment.Theminister

namedhimforthearchdeaconryofGrenada,which,asaconquered

country,isintheking’sgift.WerepairedimmediatelytoMadrid

onreceivingtheintelligence,asthedoctorwishedtothankhis

patronessesbeforehetookpossessionofhisbenefice.Ihadmore

thanoneopportunityofseeingCatalina,andconversingwithher.

Thecheerfulturnofmytemperandacertaineasyairofgood

companywerealtogethertohertaste;formypart,Ifoundherso

muchtomyliking,thatIcouldnothelpsayingyestothelittle

advancesofpartialitywhichshemadeinmyfavour:inshort,we

gottofeelverykindlytowardseachother.Youmustnotwritea

commentwithyournails,mydearBeatrice,onthisepisodeinthe

romanceofmyamours,becauseIwasfirmlypersuadedofyour

inconstancy,andyouwillallowthatheresy,thoughimpious,

beingalsoblind,mypenancemayreasonablyberemittedon

sincereconversion.

InthemeantimeDoctorIgnaciowasmakingreadytosetoutfor

Grenada.Hisrelationandmyself,outofourwitsatthe

impendingseparation,hadrecoursetoanexpedientwhichrescued

usfromitshorrors:Ishammedillness,complainedofmyhead,

complainedofmychest,andmadeacharacteristicwryfacefor

everypainandacheinthecatalogueofhumaninfirmities.My

mastercalledinaphysician,whotoldmewithagraveface,

afterputtinghisquestionsintheusualcourse,thatmy

complaintwasofamuchmoreseriousnaturethanmightappearto

unprofessionalobservation,andthat,accordingtoallpresent

likelihood,Ishouldkeepmychamberalongtime.Thedoctor,

impatienttotakepossessionofhispreferment,didnotthinkit

quitesowelltodelayhisdeparture,butchoserathertohire

anotherboy;hethereforecontentedhimselfwithhandingmeover

tothecareofanurse,withwhomheleftasumofmoneytobury

meifIshoulddie,ortoremuneratemeformyservicesifI

shouldrecover.

AssoonasIknewDonIgnaciotobesafeontheroadforGrenada,

Iwascuredofallmymaladies.Igotup,mademyfinalbowto

thephysicianwhohadevincedsothoroughaknowledgeofmyease,

andfairlyturnedmynurseoutofdoors,whomadeherretreat

goodwithbaggageandammunition,totheamountofmorethanhalf

thesumforwhichsheoughttohaveaccountedwithme.WhileI

wasenactingthesickman,Catalinawasplayinganotherpart

aboutthepersonofhermistress,DonnaAnnadeGu�vra,into

whoseconceptionhavingbydintofmanyawordyprocessinserted

thenotion,thatIwasthemanofallothersreadycutanddry

foranintrigue,sheinducedhertochoosemeforoneofher

agents.Theroyalandmostcatholicnurse,whosegeniusforgreat

undertakingswaseitherproducedorexasperatedbytheloveof

greatpossessions,havingoccasionforsuitableministers,

receivedmeamongherhangers-on,andlostnoopportunityof

ascertaininghowfarIwasforherpurpose.Sheconfidedsome

commissionstomyear;which,vanityapart,calledfornolittle

address,andwhattheycalledforwasreadyathand:accordingly,

shegavemeallpossiblecreditforthediligentexecutionofmy

office,whilemydiscontentswelledhighagainstherforfobbing

meoffwiththecoldrecompenseofapprobation.Thegoodladywas

soabominablyavaricious,asnottogivemeaworkingpartner’s

shareintheprofitsofmyindustry,nortoallowforthewear

andtearofmyconscience.Sheseemedinclinedtoconsider,that

bypayingmemywages,alltherequisitionsofChristiancharity

weremadegoodbetweenus.Thisexcessofilliberaleconomywould

soonhavepartedus,haditnotbeenforthefascinationof

Catalina’sgentlevirtues,whobecamemoredesperatelyinlove

withmefromdaytoday,andcompletedtheparoxysmbyaformal

proposalofmarriage.

Fairandsoftly,myprettyfriend,saidI:wemustlookbeforewe

leapintothatbottomlessgulf:thefirstpointtobesettledis

toascertainthedeathofayoungwoman,whoobtainedtherefusal

beforeyou,andmademesupremelyhappy,fornootherpurposebut

toanticipatethepurgatoryofanintermediatestateinthe

present.Allameresham,aputoff!answeredCatalina:youswear

youaremarriedonlybywayofthrowingagenteelveiloveryour

abhorrenceofmypersonandmanners.InvaindidIcallallthe

powerstowitness,thatwhatIsaidwassolemnlytrue:mysincere

avowalwasconsideredasamerecopyofmycountenance;thelady

wasgrievouslyoffended,andchangedherwholebehaviourin

regardtome.Therewasnodownrightquarrel;butourtender

intercoursebecamevisiblymorerigidandunaccommodating,so

thatnothingfurthertookplacebetweenusbutcoldformalityand

commonplaceattentions.

Justatthenickoftime,IheardthatSignorGilBlasde

Santillane,secretarytotheprimeministeroftheSpanish

monarchy,wantedaservant;andthesituationwasthemore

flattering,asitborethebellamongallthevacanciesofthe

courtregisteroffice.SignordeSantillane,theytoldme,was

oneofthefirstmen,highinfavourwiththeDukeofLerma,and

consequentlyinthedirectroadtofortune:hisheart,too,was

castinthemouldofgenerosity:bydoinghisbusiness,youmost

assuredlydidyourown.Theopportunitywastoogoodtobe

neglectedIwentandofferedmyselftoSignorGilBlas,towhomI

feltmyheartgrowfromthefirst;formysentimentswerefixed

bytheturnofhisphysiognomy.Therecouldbenoquestionabout

leavingtheroyalandmostcatholicnurseforhim;anditisto

behoped,Ishallneverhaveanyothermaster.

HereendedScipio’sstory.Buthecontinuedspeaking,and

addressedhimselftome.SignordeSantillane,domethefavour

toassurethoseladiesthatyouhavealwaysknownmefora

faithfulandzealousservant.Yourtestimonywillstandmein

goodstead,andvouchforasincerereformationinthesonof

Coselina.

Yes,ladies,saidI,itisevenso.ThoughScipioinhis

childhoodwasaveryscape-grace,hehasbeenbornanew,andis

nowtheexactmodelofatrustydomestic.Farfromhavingany

complaintstomakeagainsthim,mydebtisinfinite.Onthefatal

nightwhenIwasearnedofftothetowerofSegovia,hesavedmy

effectsfrompillage,andrefundedwhathemighthavetakento

himselfwithimpunity:notcontentedwithrescuingmyworldly

pelf,hecameoutofpurefriendshipandshuthimselfupwithme

inmyprison,preferringthemelancholysympathiesofadverse

fortunetoallthecharmsoflusty,buoyantliberty.

BOOKTHEELEVENTH.

CH.I.—ContainingthesubjectofthegreatestjoythatGil

Blaseverfelt,followedup,asourgreatestpleasurestoo

generallyare,bythemostmelancholyeventofhislife.Great

changesatcourt,producing,amongotherimportantrevolutions,

thereturnofSantillane.

IHAVEobservedalreadythatAntoniaandBeatriceunderstoodone

anotherperfectlywell;thelatterfallingmeeklyandmodestly

intothetrammelsofanhumbleattendantonherlady,andthe

formertakingverykindlytotherankofamistressandsuperior.

Scipioandmyselfwerehusbandstoorichinnature’sgiftsandin

theaffectionsofourspouses,notverysoontohavethe

satisfactionofbecomingfathers:ourlasseswereaswomenwish

tobewholovetheirlords,almostatthesamemoment.Beatrice’s

timewasupfirst:shewassafelydeliveredofadaughter;andin

afewdaysafterwardsAntoniacompletedthegeneraljoy,by

presentingmewithason.IsentmysecretarytoValenciawith

thewelcometidings:thegovernorcametoLiriaswithSeraphina

andtheMarchionessdePliego,tobepresentatthebaptismal

ceremony;forhemadeithispleasuretoaddthistestimonyof

affectiontoallhisformerkindnesses.Asthatnoblemanstood

godfather,andtheMarchionessgodmothertomyson,hewasnamed

Alphonse;andthegovernor’slady,wishingtodrawthebondsof

sponsorshipstillcloserinthisfriendlyparty,stoodfor

Scipio’sdaughter,towhomwegavethenameofSeraphina.

Therejoicingsatthebirthofmysonwerenotconfinedtothe

mansion-house;thevillagersofLiriascelebratedtheeventby

festivities,whichweremeantasagratefultoken,toprovehow

muchthelittleneighbourhoodpartookinallthesatisfactionsof

theirlandlord.But,alas!ourcarousalswereofshort

continuance;or,tospeakmoresuitablytothesubject,theywere

turnedintoweeping,wailing,andlamentation,byacatastrophe

whichmorethantwentyyearshavenotbeensufficienttoblot

frommymemory,norwillfuturetime,howeverdistant,makeme

thinkofitbutwiththebitterestretrospect.Mysondied;and

hismother,thoughperfectlyrecoveredfromherconfinement,very

soonfollowedhim:aviolentfevercarriedoffmydearwife,

afterwehadbeenmarriedfourteenmonths.Letthereader

conceive,ifheisequaltothetask,thegriefwithwhichIwas

overwhelmed:Ifellintoastupidinsensibility;andfeltmyloss

soseverely,astoseemnottofeelitatall.Iremainedinthis

conditionforfiveorsixdays,inanobstinatedeterminationto

takenonourishment;andIverilybelievethat,haditnotbeen

forScipio,Ishouldeitherhavestarvedmyself,ormyheart

wouldhaveburst;butmysecretary,wellknowinghowto

accommodatehimselftotheturningsandwindingsofthehuman

heart,contrivedtocheatmysorrowsbyfittinginwiththeir

toneandtenor:hewasartfulenoughtoreconcilemetotheduty

oftakingfood,byservingupsoupsandlighterfarewithso

disconsolateanarrangementoffeaturesthatitlookedasifhe

urgedmetotherevoltingemployment,notsomuchtopreservemy

life,astoperpetuateandrenderimmortalmyaffliction.

ThisaffectionateservantwrotetoDonAlphonso,tolethimknow

ofthemisfortunewhichhadhappenedtome,andmylamentable

conditioninconsequence.Thattender-heartedandcompassionate

nobleman,thatgenerousfriend,verysoonrepairedtoLirias.I

cannotrecallthemomentwhenhefirstpresentedhimselftomy

viewwithoutevennowbeingsensiblyaffected.Mydear

Santillane,saidhe,embracingme,Iamnotcometoofferyou

impertinentconsolation;buttoweepoverAntoniawithyou,as

youwouldhaveweptwithmeoverSeraphina,hadthehandofdeath

snatchedherfromme.Ingoodtruth,histearsboretestimonyto

hissincerity,andhissighswereblendedwithmineinthemost

friendlysympathy.Thoughoverwhelmedwithmyaffliction,Ifelt

inthemostlivelymannerthekindnessofDonAlphonso.

ThegovernorhadalongconversationwithScipiorespectingthe

measurestobetakenforovercomingmydespair.Theyjudgedit

besttoremovemeforsometimefromLirias,whereeveryobject

incessantlybroughtbacktomymindtheimageofAntonia.Onthis

accountthesonofDonCaesarproposedcarryingmebackwithhim

toValencia;andmysecretarysecondedtheplanwithsomany

unanswerablearguments,thatImadenofurtheropposition.Ileft

Scipioandhiswifeonmyestate,wheremylongerstaycouldhave

producednoothereffectbutthatofaggravatingandenhancing

allmysorrows,andtookmyowndeparturewiththegovernor.On

myarrivalatValencia,DonCaesarandhisdaughter-in-lawspared

noexertionstodivertmysorrowsfromperpetualbrooding;they

pliedmealternatelywitheverysortofamusement,themost

propertoturnthecurrentofmythoughtstopassingobjects;

but,inspiteofalltheirpains,Iremainedplungedin

melancholy,whencetheywereincompetenttodrawmeout.Norwas

itforwantofScipio’skindattentionsthatmypeaceofmindwas

stillsohopeless:hewascontinuallygoingbackandforebetween

LiriasandValenciatoinquireafterme;andhisjourneyhomewas

cheerfulorgloomy,inproportionashefoundmoreorless

dispositioninmetolistentothewordsofcomfort,andto

rewardtheaffectionatesolicitudeofmyfriends.

Hecameonemorningintomyroom.Sir,saidhe,withagreatdeal

ofagitationinhismanner,areportiscurrentabouttown,in

whichthewholemonarchyisdeeplyinteresteditissaidthat

PhiliptheThirdhasdepartedthislife,andthattheprince,his

son,isactuallyseatedonthethrone.Tothisitisadded,that

thecardinalDukeofLermahaslostthepremiership,thatheis

evenforbiddentoappearatcourt,andthatDonGaspardde

Guzman,CountofOlivarez,isactuallyattheheadofthe

administration.Ifeltalittleagitatedbythissuddenchange,

withoutknowingwhy.Scipiocaughtatthismanifestation,and

askedwhethertheveeringofthewindinthepoliticalhorizon

mightnotblowmesomegood.Howisthatpossible?Whatgoodcan

itblowme,myworthyfriend?answeredI.ThecourtandIhave

shakenhandsonceforall:therevolutionswhichmaytakeplace

thereareallalikeindifferenttome.

Foramanatyourtimeoflife,repliedthatcunningsonofa

diviner,youareuncommonlymortifiedtoalltheusesofthis

world.Underyourcircumstancesmycuriositywouldbeallalive;

IshouldgotoMadridandshowmyfacetotheyoungmonarch,just

toseewhetherhewouldrecollectit,merelyfortheamusementof

thething.Iunderstandyou,saidI;youwouldhavemereturnto

courtandtrymyfortuneagain,orratheryouwouldplungeme

backintothegulfofavariceandambition.Whyshouldsuch

balefulpassionsanymoretakepossessionofyourbreast?

rejoinedScipio.Donotsomuchplaythecalumniatoronyourown

virtue.Iwillanswerforyourfirmnesstoyourself.Thesound

moralreflectionswhichyourdisgracehasoccasionedyoutomake

onthevanitiesofacourtlife,areasufficientsecurity

againstallthedangerstobefearedfromthatquarter.Embark

boldlyonceagainuponanoceanwhereareacquaintedwithevery

shoalandrockinthedangerousnavigation.Holdyourtongue,you

flatterer,saidI,withasmileofnoverypositive

discouragement;areyouwearyofseeingmeleadaretiredand

tranquillife?Ithoughtmyreposehadbeenmoredeartoyou.

Justatthisperiodofourconversation,DonCaesarandhisson

camein.Theyconfirmedthenewsoftheking’sdeath,aswellas

theDukeofLerma’smisfortune.Itappeared,moreover,thatthis

minister,havingrequestedpermissiontoretiretoRome,hadnot

beenabletoobtainit,butwasorderedtoconfinehimselftohis

marquisateatDenia.Onthis,asiftheyhadbeeninleaguewith

mysecretary,theyadvisedmetogotoMadridandoffermy

congratulationstothenewking,asoneofhisformer

acquaintances,withthemeritofhavingrenderedhimevensuch

services,asthegreatareapttorewardmorewillinglythansome

whichareperformedwithcleanerhands.Formypart,saidDon

Alphonso,Ihavenodoubtbuttheywillbeliberally

acknowledged.PhiliptheFourthisboundinhonourtopaythe

PrinceofSpain’sdebts.Iconsidertheaffairjustinthesame

lightasyoudo,saidDonCaesar;andSantillane’svisittocourt

willdoubtlessprovetheoccasionofhisarrivingatthevery

firstemployments.

Ingoodtruth,mynoblefriends,exclaimedI,youdonotconsider

whatyouaretalkingabout.Itshouldseem,wereonetogiveear

tothesoothingwordsofyouboth,asifIhadnothingtodobut

toshewmyfaceatMadrid,andreceivethekeyofoffice,orsome

foreigngovernmentformypains;butyouareegregiously

mistaken.Iam,onthecontrary,wellpersuadedthattheking

wouldpassmeoverasastranger,wereItothrowmyselfinhis

way.Iwillmaketheexperimentifyouwishit,merelyforthe

sakeofundeceivingyou.ThelordsofLeyvatookmeatmyword,

sothatIcouldnothelppromisingthemtosetoutwithoutloss

oftimeforMadrid.Nosoonerdidmysecretaryperceivemymind

fullymadeuptotheprosecutionofthisjourney,thanhis

ecstasieswerewounduptothehighestpitch:hewassatisfied

withinhimselfthatifIdidbutpresentmyexcellentperson

beforethenewmonarch,hewouldimmediatelysinglemeoutfrom

thecrowdofpoliticalcandidates,andweighmedownunderaload

ofdignitiesandemoluments.Onthestrengthofthese

conjectures,puffinghimselfoutandamusinghisfancywiththe

mostsplendidextravagancesofdevice,heraisedmeuptothe

firstofficesofthestate,andpushedforwardhisownpreferment

inthepathofmyexaltation.

Ithereforemademyarrangementsforreturningtocourt,without

themostdistantintentionofagainsacrificingattheshrineof

fortune,butmerelytoconvinceDonCaesarandhissonoftheir

error,inimaginingthatIwasatalllikelytoingratiatemyself

withthesovereign.Itistruethattherewassomelittlelurking

vanityatthebottomofallmyphilosophy,sproutingupinthe

shapeofadesiretoascertainwhethermyroyalmasterwould

throwawayathoughtonme,nowinthespringtimeofhisnewand

blushinghonours.Ledoutofthatcoursesolelybythattempter,

curiosity,withoutadreamofhope,oranypracticalcontrivance

fortuningthenewreigntomyownindividualadvantage,Iset

outforMadridwithScipio,consigningthemanagementofmy

householdtoBeatrice,whowaswellskilledinalltheartsof

domesticeconomy.

CH.II.—GilBlasarrivesinMadrid,andmakeshisappearance

atcourt:thekingisblessedwithabettermemorythanmostof

hiscourtiers,andrecommendshimtothenoticeofhisprime

minister.Consequencesofthatrecommendation.

WEgottoMadridinlessthaneightdays,DonAlphonsohaving

givenustwoofhisbesthorses,thatwemightlosenotimeon

theroad.Wealightedataready-furnishedlodging,whereIhad

livedformerly,keptbyVincentFerrero,myoldlandlord,whowas

uncommonlygladtoseemeagain.

Asthismanpridedhimselfonbeinginthesecretofwhateverwas

goingforwardeitherincourtorcity,Iaskedhimafterthebest

news.Thereisplentyofit,whetherbestorworst,answeredhe.

SincethedeathofPhiliptheThird,thefriendsandpartisansof

theCardinalDukeofLermahavebeenmovingheavenandearthto

supporthisEminenceonthepinnacleofministerialauthority,

buttheireffortshavebeenineffectual:theCountofOlivarez

hascarriedtheday,inspiteofalltheirindustry.Itis

allegedthatSpainwillbenoloserbytheexchange,andthatthe

presentpremierispossessedofageniussoextensive,amindso

capacious,thathewouldbecompetenttowieldthemachineof

universalgovernment.Newbrooms,theysay,sweepclean!But,at

allevents,youmaytakethisforcertain,thatthepublicis

fullyimpressedwithaveryfavourableopinionofhiscapacity:

weshallseebyandbywhethertheDukeofLerma’ssituationis

wellorillfilledup.Ferrero,havinggothistongueintothe

righttrainforwagging,gavemealltheparticularsofallthe

changeswhichhadtakenplaceatcourtsincetheCountof

Olivarezhadtakenhisseatatthehelmofthestatevessel.

TwodaysaftermyarrivalatMadrid,Irepairedtotheroyal

palaceaftermydinner,andthrewmyselfintheking’swayashe

wascrossingthelobbytohiscloset;buthisnoticewasnotat

allattractedbymyappearance.Nextday,Ireturnedtothesame

place,butwithnobettersuccess.Onthethirddayhelookedme

fullinthefaceashepassedby,butthestarewasperfectly

vacant,asfarasmyinterestormyvanitywasconcerned.This

beingthecase,Iresolvedinmyownmindwhatwaspropertobe

done:Yousee,saidItoScipio,whoaccompaniedme,thatthe

kingisgrownoutofmyrecollection;orifhismemoryisnot

becomemorefrailwiththeelevationofhiscircumstances,hehas

someprivatereasonsfornotchoosingtorenewtheacquaintance.

Ithinkwecannotdobetterthanmakeourwaybackasfastas

possibleforValencia.Letusnotbeintoogreatahurryfor

that,sir,answeredmysecretary:youknowbetterthanmyself,

havingservedalongapprenticeship,thatthereisnogettingon

atcourtwithoutpatienceandperseverance.Beindefatigablein

exhibitingyourpersontotheprince’sregards:bydintof

forcingyourselfonhisobservation,youwillobligehimtoask

himselfthequestionwhothisassiduousfrequenterofhishaunts

canpossiblybe,whenmemorymustcometohisaid,andtracethe

featuresofhischeapenerinthepurchaseofthelovely

Catalina’sgoodgraces.

ThatScipiomighthavenothingtoreproachmewith,Isofarlent

myselftohiswishesastocontinuethesameproceedingforthe

spaceofthreeweeks;whenatlengthithappenedonedaythatthe

monarch,noticingthefrequencyofmyappearance,sentforme

intohispresence.Iwentintothecloset,notwithoutsome

perturbationofmindattheideaofaprivateinterviewwithmy

sovereign.Whoareyou?saidhe:yourfeaturesarenotaltogether

strangetome.WherehaveIseenyou?Pleaseyourmajesty,

answeredItrembling,Ihadthehonourofescortingyouonenight

withtheCountofLemostothehouseof….Ah!Irecollect

itperfectly,criedtheprince,asifasuddenlighthadbrokein

uponhim:youweretheDukeofLerma’ssecretary;andifIamnot

mistaken,yournameisSantillane.Ihavenotforgottenthaton

theoccasionalludedtoyouservedmewithamostcommendable

zeal,butreceivedaleft-handedrecompenseforyourexertions.

Didyounotgetintoprisonattheconclusionoftheadventure?

Yes,pleaseyourmajesty,repliedI:myconfinementinthetower

ofSegovialastedsixmonths;butyourgoodnesswasexercisedin

procuringmyrelease.That,repliedhe,doesnotcancelmydebt

tomyfaithfulservantSantillane:itisnotenoughtohave

restoredhimtoliberty,forIoughttomakehimampleamendsfor

theevilswhichhehassufferedonthescoreofhisalacrityin

myconcerns.

Justastheprincewasutteringthesewords,theCountof

Olivarezcameintothecloset.Thenervesoffavouritesare

shakenbyeverybreath,theirirritabilityexcitedbyevery

trifle:hewasasmuchastonishedasanyfavouriteneedbeatthe

sightofastrangerinthatplace,andthekingredoubledhis

wonderingpropensitiesbythefollowingrecommendation—Count,

Iconsignthisyoungmantoyourcare,employhim,andletme

findthatyouprovideforhisadvancement.Theministeraffected

toreceivethisorderwiththemostgraciousacquiescence,but

lookedmeoverfromheadtofoot,withaglancefromthecorner

ofhiseye,andwasontenterhookstofindoutwhohadbeenso

strangelysaddleduponhim.Go,myfriend,addedthesovereign,

addressinghimselftome,andwavinghishandformetowithdraw;

thecountwillnotfailtoavailhimselfofyourservicesina

mannerthemostconducivetotheinterestsofmygovernment,and

theestablishmentofyourownfortunes.

Iimmediatelywentoutoftheclosetandmadethebestofmyway

tothesonofCoselina,who,beingoverrunwithimpatienceto

inquirewhatthekinghadbeentalkingabout,fumbledathis

fingers’ends,andwasalloverinanagitation.Hisfirst

questionwas,whetherweweretoreturntoValenciaorbecomea

partofthecourt.Youshallformyourownconclusions,answered

I;atthesametimedelightinghimwithanaccountwordforword

ofthelittleconversationIhadjustheldwiththemonarch.My

dearmaster,saidScipioatonceintheexcessofhisjoy,will

youtakemeforyouralmanac-makeranothertime?Youmust

acknowledgethatwewerenotinthewrong!thelordsofLeyvaand

myselfhaveoureye-teethaboutus!ajourneytoMadridwasthe

onlymeasuretobeadoptedinsuchacase.AlreadyIanticipate

yourappointmenttoaneminentpost:youwillturnouttobesome

timeorotheraCalderonatotheCountofOlivarez.Thatisbyno

meanstheobjectofmyambition,observedIinreturn;the

employmentisplacedontooruggedaneminencetoexciteany

longingsinmymind.Icouldwishforagoodsituationwhere

therecouldbenoinducementtodowhatmightgoagainstmy

conscience,andwherethefavoursofmyprincearenotlikelyto

bebarteredawayforfilthylucre.Havingexperiencedmyown

unfitnessforthepossessionofpatronage,Icannotbe

sufficientlyonmyguardagainsttheinroadsofavariceand

ambition.Neverthinkaboutthat,sir!repliedmysecretary,the

ministerwillgiveyousomehandsomeappointment,whichyoumay

fillwithoutanyimpeachmentofyourintegrityorindependence.

InducedmorebyScipio’simportunitythanmyowncuriosity,I

repairedthefollowingdaybeforesunrisetotheresidenceofthe

Countd’Olivarez,havingbeeninformedthateverymorning,

whetherinsummerorwinter,hegaveaudiencebycandlelightto

allcomers.Iensconcedmyselfmodestlyinacornerofthe

saloon,andfrommylurking-placetookespecialnoticeofthe

countwhenhemadehisappearance;forIhadmarkedhisperson

butcursorilyintheking’scloset.Hewasabovethemiddle

stature,andmightpassforfatinacountrywhereitisararity

toseeanybutleansubjects.Hisshouldersweresohigh,asto

lookexactlyasifhewashump-backed,butappearanceswere

slanderous;forhisblade-bones,thoughinelegant,wereapair;

hishead,whichwaslargeenoughtohecapacious,droppeddown

uponhischestbytheunwieldinessofitsownweight;hishair

wasblackandunconsciousofacurl,hisfacelengthened,his

complexionolive-coloured,hismouthretiringinwards,withthe

sharp-pointed,turn-upchinofapantaloon.

Thiswholearrangementofstructureandsymmetrydidnotexactly

makeupthecompletemodelofanoblemanaccordingtotheideas

ofancientart;nevertheless,asIbelievedhimtobeinatemper

ofmindfavourabletothegratificationofmywishes,Ilookedat

hisdefectswithanindulgenteye,andfoundhimamanverymuch

tomysatisfaction.Oneofthebestpointsabouthimwas,thathe

receivedthepublicatlargewiththeutmostaffabilityand

complacency,holdingouthishandforpetitionswithasmuchgood

humourasifhewerethepersontobeobliged,andthiswasa

sufficientset-offagainstanythinguntowardintheexpressionof

hiscountenance.Inthemeantime,wheninmyturnIcameforward

topaymyrespectsandmakemyselfknowntohim,hedartedatme

aglanceofrudedislikeandfrightfulmenace;thenturninghis

back,withoutcondescendingtogivemeaudience,retiredintohis

closet.Thenitwasthattheuglinessofthisnobleman’sfeatures

appearedinalltheextravaganceofcaricature:sothatImade

thebestofmywayoutofthesaloon,thunderstruckatsosavage

areception,andquiteatalosshowtoconjecturewhatmightbe

theconsequence.

HavinggotbacktoScipio,whowaswaitingformeatthedoor—

Canyouguessatall,saidI,whatsortofagreetingminewas?

No,answeredhe,notastotheminuteparticulars;butwith

respecttothesubstance,easilyenough:theminister,readyupon

alloccasionstofallinwiththefanciesofhisroyalmaster,

mustofcoursehavemadeyouahandsomeofferofanostensible

andlucrativesituation.Thatisallyouknowaboutthematter,

repliedI;andthenwentontoacquainthimcircumstantiallywith

allthatpassed.Helistenedtomewithseriousattention,and

thensaid—Thecountcouldnothaverecollectedyourperson;or

rather,hemusthavebeendeceivedbyafortuitousresemblance

betweenyouandsomeimpertinentsuitor.Iwouldadviseyouto

tryanotherinterview;Iwilllayawagerhewilllookonyou

morekindly.Iadoptedmysecretary’ssuggestion,andstoodfora

secondtimeinthepresenceoftheminister;buthe,behavingto

mestillworsethanatfirst,puckereduphisfeaturesthemoment

myunluckycountenancecamewithinhisken,justasifitwas

connectedwithsomelodgedhateandcertainloathing,whichof

forceswayedhimtooffend,himselfbeingoffended;afterthis

significantdemonstration,heturnedawayhisglaringeyeballs,

andwithdrewwithoututteringaword.

Iwasstungtothequickbysohostileatreatment,andina

humourtosetoutimmediatelyonmyreturntoValencia;butto

thatprojectScipiouniformlyopposedhissteadyobjections,not

knowinghowforthelifeofhimtopartwiththoseflattering

hopeswhichfancyhadengenderedinhisbrain.Doyounotsee

plainly,saidI,thatthecountwishestodrivemeawayfrom

court?Themonarchhastestifiedinhispresencesomesortof

favourableintentiontowardsme,andisnotthatenoughtodraw

downuponmethethoroughhatredofthemonarch’sfavourite?Let

usdrivebeforethewind,mygoodcomrade;letusmakeupour

mindstoputquietlyintoport,andleavetheopenseaandthe

honoursoftheflaginthepossessionofanenemywithwhomwe

aretoofeebletocontend.Sir,answeredhe,inhighresentment

againsttheCountofOlivarez,Iwouldnotstrikesoeasily.I

wouldgoandcomplaintothekingofthecontemptinwhichhis

ministerheldhisrecommendation.Badadvice,indeed,myfriend,

saidI;totakesoimprudentastepasthat,wouldsoonbring

bitterrepentanceinthetrainofitsconsequences.Idonoteven

knowwhetheritissafeformetoremainanylongerinthistown.

Atthishint,mysecretarycommunedalittlewithhisown

thoughts;and,consideringthatinpointoffactwehadtodo

withamanwhokeptthekeyofthetowerofSegoviainhis

pocket,myfearsbecamenaturalizedinhisbreast.Henolonger

opposedmyearnestdesireofleavingMadrid,andIdeterminedto

takemymeasuresaccordinglyontheverynextday.

CH.III.—Theprojectofretirementisprevented,andJoseph

Navarrobroughtuponthestageagain,byanactofsignal

service.

ONmywayhometomylodgingsImetJosephNavarro,whomthe

renderwillrecollectasontheestablishmentofDonBalthasarde

Zuniga,andoneofmyoldfriends.Imademybowfirstata

distance,thenwentuptohim,andaskedwhetherheknewme

again,andifhewouldstillbesogoodastospeaktoawretch

whohadrepaidhisfriendshipwithingratitude.Youacknowledge

then,saidhe,thatyouhavenotbehavedveryhandsomelybyme?

Yes,answeredI;andyouarefullyjustifiedinlayingonyour

reproachesthickandthreefold:Ideservethemall,unlessindeed

myguiltmaybethoughttohavebeenatonedbytheremorseof

conscienceattendantonit.Sinceyouhaverepentedofyour

misconduct,repliedNavarro,embracingme,Ioughtnolongerto

holdititsremembrance.Formypart,Iknewnothowtohug

Josephcloseenoughinmyarms;andwebothofusresumedour

originalkindfeelingstowardsoneanother.

Hehadheardofmyimprisonmentandthederangementofmy

affairs;butofwhatfollowedhewastotallyignorantIinformed

himofit;relatingwordforwordmyconversationwiththeking,

withoutsuppressingtheminister’slateungraciousreceptionof

me,anymorethanmypresentpurposeofretiringintomy

favouriteobscurity.Bewareofremovingfromthesceneofaction,

saidhe:sincethesovereignhasshownadispositiontobefriend

you,therearealwaysusestobemadeofsuchacircumstance.

Betweenourselves,theCountofOlivarezhassomethingrather

unaccountableinhischaracter:heisaverygoodsortof

nobleman,butratherwhimsicalwithal:sometimes,asonthe

presentoccasion,heactsinamostoffensivemanner,andnone

buthimselfcanfurnishacluetodisentangletheintricate

threadofhismotivesandtheirresults.Buthoweverthismaybe,

orwhateverreasonsmighthaveswayedhimtogiveyousoscurvya

reception,keepyourfootinghere,anddonotbudge;hewillnot

beabletohinderyoufromthrivingundertheroyalshelterand

protection;takemywordforthat!Iwilljustgiveahintupon

thesubjectthiseveningtoSignorDonBalthasardeZuniga,my

master;heisuncletotheCountofOlivarez,andshareswithhim

inthetoilsandcaresofoffice.Navarrohavinggivenmethis

assurance,inquiredwhereIlived,andthenweparted.

Itwasnotlongbeforewemetagain;forhecametocallonme

theverynextday.SignordeSantillane,saidhe,youarenot

withoutaprotector;mymasterwilllendyouhispowerful

support:onthestrengthofthegoodcharacterwhichIhavegiven

yourlordship,hehaspromisedtospeaktohisnephew,theCount

ofOlivarez,inyourbehalf;andIdoubtnotbuthewill

effectuallyprepossesshiminyourfavour.MyfriendNavarronot

meaningtoservemebyhalves,introducedmetwodaysafterwards

toDonBalthasar,whosaidwithagraciousair:Signorde

Santillane,yourfriendJosephhaspronouncedyourpanegyricin

termswhichhavewonmeovercompletelytoyourinterest.Imade

alowobeisancetoSignordeZuniga,andanswered,thattothe

latestperiodofmylifeIshouldentertainthemostlivelysense

ofmyobligationtoNavarro,forhavingsecuredtomethe

protectionofaminister,whowasconsidered,andthatforthe

bestreasonspossible,asthepresidinggenius,thegreater

luminary,or,asitwere,theeyeandmindoftheministerial

council.DonBalthasar,atthisunexpectedstrokeofflattery,

clappedmeontheshoulderwithanapprovingchuckle,and

returnedmycomplimentbyamoresignificantintimation:Youmay

callontheCountofOlivarezagainto-morrow,andthenyouwill

havemorereasontobepleasedwithhim.

Forthethirdtime,therefore,didImakemyappearancebefore

theprimeminister,who,pickingmeoutfromamongthemobof

suitors,castuponmealookconveyingwithitasimperof

welcome,fromwhichIventuredtodrawagoodomen.Thisisall

asitshouldbe,saidItomyself;theunclehasbroughtthe

nephewtohisproperbearings.Inolongeranticipatedanyother

thanafavourablereception,andmyconfidencewasfully

justified.Thecount,afterhavinggivenaudiencetothe

promiscuouscrowd,tookmewithhimintohiscloset,andsaid

withafamiliaraddress:MyfriendSantillane,youmustexcuse

thelittledisquietudeIhaveoccasionedyoumerelyformyown

amusement;itwasdoneinsport,thoughitwasdeathtoyou,for

thesolepurposeofpractisingonyourdiscretion,andobserving

towhatmeasuresyourdisgustanddisappointmentwouldincite

you.Doubtlessyoumusthaveconcludedthatyourserviceswere

displeasingtome;butonthecontrary,mygoodfellow,Imust

confessfrankly,that,asfarasappearsatpresent,youare

perfectlytomymind.Thoughthekingmymasterhadnotenjoined

metotakechargeofyourfortunes,Ishouldhavedonesoofmy

ownfreechoice.Besides,myuncle,DonBalthasardeZuniga,to

whomIcanrefusenothing,hasrequestedmetoconsideryouasa

manforwhomheparticularlyinterestshimself:thatalonewould

beenoughtofixmyconfidenceinyou,andmakememostsincerely

yourfriend.

Thisoutsetofmycareerproducedsolivelyanimpressiononmy

feelings,thattheybecameunintelligiblytumultuous.Ithrew

myselfattheminister’sfeet,whoinsistedonmyrising

immediately,andthenwentontothefollowingeffect:Return

hitherto-dayafterdinner,andaskformysteward:hewill

acquaintyouwiththeorderswhichIshallhavegivenhim.With

thesewordshisexcellencybrokeuptheconferencetohearmass,

accordingtohisconstantcustomeverydayaftergivingaudience:

hethenattendedtheking’slevee.

CH.IV.—GilBlasingratiateshimselfwiththeCountof

Olivarez.

IDIDnotfailreturningafterdinnertotheprimeminister’s

house,andaskingforhissteward,whosenamewasDonRaymond

Caporis.NosoonerhadImademyselfknown,thanpayinghis

civilitiestomeinthemostrespectfulmanner,Sir,saidhe,

followmeifyouplease:Iamtodomyselfthehonourofshewing

youthewaytotheapartmentwhichisorderedforyouinthis

family.Havingspokenthus,heledmeupanarrowstaircasetoa

gallerycommunicatingwithfiveorsixrooms,whichcomposedthe

secondstorybelongingtoonewingofthehouse,andwere

furnishedneatly,butwithoutostentation.Youbehold,resumed

he,thelodgingassignedyoubyhislordship,whereyouwill

alwayshaveatableofsixpersons,keptathisexpense.Youwill

bewaitedonbyhisownservants;andtherewillalwaysbea

carriageatyourcommand.Butthatisnotall:hisexcellency

insistedonitinthemostpointedmanner,thatyoushouldbe

treatedineveryrespectwiththesameattentionasifyou

belongedtothehouseofGuzman.

Whatthedevilisthemeaningofallthis?saidIwithinmyself.

WhatconstructionoughtItoputuponallthesehonours?Isthere

notsomehumorousprankatthebottomofit?andmustitnotbe

moreinthewayofdiversionthananythingelse,thatthe

ministerisflatteringmeupwithsoimposinganestablishment!

WhileIwasruminatinginthisuncertainty,fluctuatingbetweea

hopeandfear,apagecametoletmeknowthatthecountwas

askingforme.Iwaitedinstantlyonhislordship,whowasquite

aloneinhiscloset.Well!Santillane,saidhe,areyousatisfied

withyourrooms,andwithmyorderstoDonRaymond?Your

excellency’sliberality,answeredI,seemsoutofallproportion

withitsobject;sothatIreceiveitwithfearandtrembling.

Whyso?repliedhe.CanIbetoolavishofdistinctiontoaman

whomthekinghascommittedtomycare,andforwhoseinterests

heespeciallycommandedmetoprovide?No,thatisimpossible;

andIdonomorethanmydutyinplacingyouonafootingof

respectabilityandconsequence.Nolonger,therefore,letwhatI

doforyouheasubjectofsurprise;butrelyonitthat

splendourintheeyeoftheworld,andthesolidadvantagesof

accumulatingwealth,areequallywithinyourgrasp,ifyoudo

butattachyourselfasfaithfullytomeasyoudidtotheDukeof

Lerma.

Butnowthatweareonthesubjectofthatnobleman,continued

he,itissaidthatyoulivedontermsofpersonalintimacywith

him.Ihaveastrongcuriositytoleanthecircumstanceswhich

ledtoyourfirstacquaintance,aswellasinwhatdepartmentyou

actedunderhim.Donotdisguiseorglossovertheslightest

particular,forIshallnotbesatisfiedwithoutafull,true,

andcircumstantialrecital.ThenitwasthatIrecollectedin

whatanembarrassingpredicamentIstoodwiththeDukeofLerma

onasimilaroccasion,andbywhatlineofconductIextricated

myself;thatsamecourseIadoptedonceagainwiththehappiest

success;wherebythereaderistounderstandthatthroughoutmy

narrativeIsofteneddownthepassageslikelytogiveumbrageto

mypatron,andglancedwithasuperficialdelicacyover

transactionswhichwouldhavereflectedbutlittlelustreonmy

owncharacter.Ilikewisemanifestedaconsideratetendernessfor

theDukeofLerma;thoughbygivingthatfallenfavouriteno

quarter,IshouldbetterhaveconsultedthetasteofhimwhomI

wishedtoplease.AsforDonRodrigodeCalderona,thereIlaid

aboutmewiththereligiousfuryofabishopinabattle.I

broughttogether,anddisplayedinthemostglaringcolours,all

theanecdotesIhadbeenabletopickuprespectinghiscorrupt

practicesandunderhanddealinginthesaleofpromotions,

military,ecclesiastical,andcivil.

WhatyouhavetoldmeaboutCalderona,criedtheministerwith

eagerness,exactlysquareswithcertainmemorialswhichhavebeen

presentedtome,containingtheheadsofchargesstillmore

seriouslyaffectinghischaracter.Hewillverysoonbeputupon

histrial,andifyouhaveanywishtoglutyourrevengebyhis

ruin,Iamofopinionthattheobjectofyourdesireisnearat

hand.Iamfarfromthirstingafterhisblood,saidI,thoughhad

itdependedonhim,minemighthavebeenshedinthetowerof

Segovia,wherehewastheoccasionofmytakinglodgingsfora

prettylongterm.What!inquiredhisexcellency,wasitDon

Rodrigowhoprocuredyouthatsuddenjourney?thisapartofthe

storyofwhichIwasnotawarebefore.DonBalthasar,towhom

Navarrogaveasummaryofyouradventures,toldmeindeedthat

thelatekinggaveordersforyourcommitment,asamarkofhis

indignationagainstyouforhavingledthePrinceofSpain

astray,andtakenhimtoahouseofsuspiciouscharacterinthe

night:butthatisallIknowofthematter,andcannotforthe

lifeofmeconjecturewhatpartCalderonacouldpossiblyhavehad

toplayinthattragicomedy.Aprincipalpart,whetheronthe

stageorinreallife,answeredIthatofajealouslover,taking

vengeanceforaninjury,sustainedinthetenderestpoint.Atthe

sametimeIrelatedminutelyallthefactswithwhichthereader

isalreadyacquainted,andtouchedhisrisiblepropensities,

difficultastheywereofaccess,soexactlyintherightplace,

thathecouldnothelpwagginghisunder-hungjawinaparoxysm

ofhumour-strickenecstasy,andlaughingtillhecriedagain.

Catalina’sdoublecastinthedramadelightedhimexceedingly;

hersometimesplayingthenieceandsometimespersonatingthe

grand-daughterseemedtoticklehisfancymorethananything;nor

washealtogetherinattentivetotheappearancewhichtheDukeof

Lermamadeinthisundignifiedfarceofstate.WhenIhad

finishedmystory,thecountgavemeleavetodepart,withan

assurancethatonthenextdayhewouldnotfailtomaketrialof

mytalentsforbusiness.Iranimmediatelytothefamilyhotelof

Zuniga,tothankDonBalthazarforhisgoodoffices,andto

acquaintmyfriendJosephwiththefavourabledispositionsofthe

primeminister,andmybrilliantprospectsinconsequence.

CH.V.—TheprivateconversationofGilBlaswithNavarro,

andhisfirstemploymentintheserviceoftheCountd’Olivarez.

AssoonasIgottotheearofJoseph,Itoldhimwithmuch

trepidationofspiritswhataworldoftopicsIhadtodepositin

hisprivateear,Hetookmewherewemightbealone,whenIasked

him,afterhavingcommunicatedakeytothewholetransactionup

tothepresenttime,whathethoughtofthebusinessasitstood.

Ithink,answeredhe,thatyouareinafairwaytomakean

enormousfortune.Everythingturnsoutaccordingtoyourwishes:

youhavemadeyourselfacceptabletotheprimeminister;andwhat

mustbetakenforsomethingintheaccount,Icanrenderyouthe

sameserviceasmyuncleMelchiordelaRonda,whenyouattached

yourselftothearchiepiscopalestablishmentofGrenada.He

sparedyouthetroubleoffindingouttheweaksideofthat

prelateandhisprincipalofficers,bydiscoveringtheir

differentcharacterstoyou;anditismypurpose,afterhis

example,tobringyouperfectlyacquaintedwiththecount,his

ladycountess,andtheironlydaughter,DonnaMariadeGuzman.

Theminister’spartsarequick,hisjudgmentpenetrating,andhis

talentsaltogethercalculatedfortheformationofextensive

projects.Heaffectsthecreditofuniversalgenius,onthe

strengthofashowysmatteringingeneralscience;sothatthere

isnosubject,inhisownopinion,toodifficulttobedecidedon

hismereauthority.Hesetshimselfupforapracticallawyer,a

completegeneral,andapoliticianofthorough-pacedsagacity.

Addtoallthis,thatheissoobstinatelyweddedtohisown

opinions,asunchangeablytopersevereinthepathofhisown

chalkingout,totheabsolutecontemptofbetteradvice,forfear

ofseemingtobeinfluencedbyanygoodsenseorintelligence,

butwhathewouldbethoughttoengrossintheresourcesofhis

ownmind.Betweenourselves,thisblotinhischaractermay

producestrangeconsequences,whichitmaybewellforthe

monarchyshouldindulgentheavenforthedefectofhumanmeans

avert!Asforhistalentsincouncil,heshinesindebatebythe

forceofnaturaleloquence;andwouldwriteaswellashespeaks,

ifhedidnotinjudiciouslyaffectacertaindignityofstyle,

whichdegeneratesintoaffectation,quaintness,andobscurity.

Hismodesofthinkingarepeculiartohimself;heiscapricious

inconduct,andvisionaryindesign.Hereyouhavethepictureof

hismind,thelightandshadeofhisintellectualmerits:the

qualitiesofhisheartanddispositionremaintobedelineated.

Heisgenerousandwarminhisfriendships.Itissaidthatheis

revengeful;butwouldhebeaSpaniardifhewereotherwise?In

additiontothis,hehasbeenaccusedofingratitude,forhaving

driventheDukeofUzedaandFriarLewisAliagaintobanishment,

thoughheowedthem,accordingtocommonreport,obligationsof

themostbindingnature;andyeteventhismustnotbelooked

intosonarrowlyunderhiscircumstances:therearefewbreasts

capaciousenoughtoaffordhouse-roomfortwosuchopposite

inmatesaspoliticalambitionandgratitude.

DonnaAgnesdeZuniga�Velasco,CountessofOlivarez,continued

Joseph,isaladytowhomitisimpossibletoimputemorethan

onefault,butthatisahugeone;foritconsistsinmakinga

market,andamarketthemostexorbitantinitsterms,ofher

naturalinfluenceoverthemindofherhusband.AsforDonna

MariadeGuzman,whobeyondalldisputeisatthismomentthe

veryfirstmatchinSpain,sheisaladyoffirst-rate

accomplishments,andabsolutelyidolizedbyherfather.Regulate

yourconductuponthesehints:makeyourcourtwithartand

plausibilitytothesetwoladies,andletitappearasifyou

weremoredevotedtotheCountofOlivarezthaneveryouwereto

theDukeofLermabeforeyourforcedexcursiontoSegovia;you

willbecomealeadingandpowerfulmemberoftheadministration.

Ishouldadviseyou,moreover,addedhe,toseemymaster,Don

Balthasar,fromtimetotime;forthoughyouhavenolongerany

occasionforhisinteresttopushyouforward,itwillnotbe

amisstowastealittleincenseuponhim.Youstandveryhighin

hisgoodopinion;preserveyourfootingthere,andcultivatehis

friendship;itmaystandyouinsomesteadonanyemergency.I

couldnothelpobserving,thatastheuncleandnephewwereina

certainsortpartnersinthegovernmentofthestate,theremight

possiblybesomelittlesymptomofjealousybetweenbrothersnear

thethrone.Onthecontrary,answeredhe,theyareunitedbythe

mostconfidentialties.HaditnotbeenforDonBalthasar,the

CountofOlivarezmightprobablyneverhavebeenprimeminister;

foryouaretoknow,thatafterPhiliptheThirdhadpaidthe

debtofnature,alltheadherentsandpartisansbelongingtothe

houseofSandovalmadeagreatstir,someinfavourofthe

cardinal,andothersonhisson’sbehalf;butmymaster,a

greateradeptincourtintriguethananyofthem,andthecount,

whoisnearlyasgreatanadeptashimselfdisconcertedalltheir

measures,andtooktheirownsojudiciouslyforthepurposeof

steppingintothevacantplace,thattheirrivalshadnochance

againstthem.TheCountofOlivarez,beingappointedprime

minister,dividedthedutieswithhisuncle,DonBalthasar;

leavingforeignaffairstohim,andtakingthehomedepartmentto

himself;theconsequenceis,thatthebondsoffamilyfriendship

aredrawncloserbetweenthesetwonoblemen,thanifpolitical

influencehadnoshareintheirmutualinterests:theyare

perfectlyindependentintheirrespectivelinesofbusiness,and

livetogetherontermsofgoodunderstandingwhichnointrigue

canpossiblyaffectoralter.

SuchwasthesubstanceofmyconversationwithJoseph,andthe

advantagetobederivedfromitwasmyowntomakethemostof:

atallevents,itwasmydutytothankSignordeZunigaforall

theinfluencehehadthegoodnesstoexertinmyfavour.He

assuredmewithinfinitegood-breedingthatheshouldavail

himselfofeveryopportunityasitarosetopromotemywishes,

andthathewasverygladhisnephewhadbehavedsoastomeetmy

ideas,becausehemeanttorefreshhismemoryinmybehalf,being

determined,ashewaspleasedtosay,toplaceitbeyondall

mannerofdoubthowfarhehimselfparticipatedinallmyviews,

andtomakeitevidentthat,insteadofonefastfriend,Ihad

two.IntermslikethesedidDonBalthasar,throughmere

friendshipforNavarro,takethemouldingofmyfortuneson

himself.

OnthatsameeveningdidIleavemypaltrylodgingtotakeupmy

abodeattheprimeminister’s,whereIsatdowntosupperwith

Scipioinmyownsuiteofapartments.Therewerewebothwaited

onbytheservantsbelongingtothehousehold,whoastheystood

behindourchairs,whilewewereaffectingthepompand

circumstanceofpoliticalelevation,weremorelikelythannotto

belaughingintheirsleevesatthepantomimetheyhadbeen

orderedbytheirmanagertoplayinourpresence.Whentheyhad

takenawayandleftustoourselves,mysecretarybeingnolonger

underrestraint,gaveventtoathousandwildimaginationswhich

hissprightlytemperandinventivehopesengenderedinhisfancy.

Onmypart,thoughbynomeanscoldorinsensibletothe

brilliantprospectswhichwereopeningonmyview,Ididnotas

yetyieldintheleastdegreetotheweaknessofbeingthrust

asidefromtherightlineofmy

philosophybytemporalallurements.Somuchotherwise,thaton

goingtobedIfellintoasoundsleep,withoutbeinghauntedin

mydreamsbythosephantomsofflatteringdelusionwhichmight

havegainedadmittancewithnoseverequestionfromacorruptible

door-keeper.TheambitiousScipio,onthecontrary,tossedand

tumbledallnightintheagitationofrestlesscontrivance.

Wheneverhedozedalittleimptookpossessionofhisbrain,with

apenbehinditsear,workingoutbyalltherulesofarithmetic

thebulkysumtotalofhisdaughterSeraphina’smarriageportion.

NosoonerhadIgotmyclothesonthenextmorning,thana

messagecamefromhislordship.Iflewlikelightningatthe

summons,whenhisexcellencysaid:Nowthen,Santillane,suppose

yougiveusaspecimenofyourtalentsforbusiness.Yousaythat

theDukeofLermausedtogiveyoustatepaperstobringinto

officialform;andIhaveone,bywayofexperiment,onwhichyou

shalltryyourskill.Thesubjectyouwilleasilycomprehend:it

turnsuponanexpositionofpublicaffairs,suchastothrowan

artificiallightonthefirstappearanceofthenewministry,and

toprejudicethepublicinitsfavour.Ihavealreadywhispered

itaboutbymyemissaries,thateverydepartmentofthestatewas

completelydisorganized,thatthetalentswhichprecededuswere

notalentsatall;andtheobjectatpresentistoimpressboth

courtandcitybyaformaldeclarationwiththeidea,thatour

aidisabsolutelynecessarytosavethemonarchyitselffrom

sinking.Onthisthemeyoumayexpatiatetillthepopulacebecome

lock-jawedwithastonishment,andthesoberpartofthepublic

aregravelyarguedoutofallprepossessioninfavourofthe

discardedparty.Bywayofcontrast,youwilltalkofthedignus

vindicenodus,takingcaretotranslateitintoSpanish;and

boastofthemeasuresadoptedundertheneworderofthings,to

securethepermanentgloryoftheking’sreign,togiveperpetual

prosperitytohisdominions,andtoconferperfect,unchangeable

happinessonhisgoodpeople.

Hislordship,havinggivenoutthegeneralsubjectofmythesis,

leftmewithapapercontainingtheheadsofcharges,whether

justorunjust,againstthelateadministration:andIremember

perfectlywell,thatthereweretenarticles,whoselightest

word,evenofthelightestarticle,wouldharrowupthesoulofa

trueSpaniard,andmakehisknottedandcombinedlockstopart.

Thatthecurrentofmyfancymightexperiencenointerruption,he

shutmeintoalittleclosetnearhisown,wherethespiritof

poetrymightpossessmeinallitsfreedomandindependence.My

bestfacultieswerecalledforth,tocomposeastatementof

affairscommensuratewithmyownconcerninthesweepingofthe

newbrooms.Myfirstobjectwastolayopenthenakednessand

abandonmentofthekingdom:thefinancesinastateof

bankruptcy,thecivillistandimmediateresourcesofthecrown

pawnedfiftytimesover,thenavyunpaid,dismantled,andin

mutiny.Allthishideousdelineationwasreferredforitsjustice

andaccuracytothewrong-headednessandstupidityofgovernment

atthecloseofthelastreign,andthedoctrinemoststrongly

enforced,thatunexampledwisdomandpatriotismonlycouldward

offthefatalconsequences.Inshort,themonarchycouldonlybe

sustainedontheshouldersofourpoliticalsufficiencyand

reformingprudence.Theex-ministryweresocruellybelaboured,

thattheDukeofLerma’sruin,accordingtothetermsofmy

syllogism,wasthesalvationofSpain.Toownthetruth,though

myprofessionswereinthespiritofChristiancharitytowards

thatnobleman,Iwasnotsorrytogivehimaslyrubinthe

exerciseofmyfunction.Ohman!man!whatacompoundofcandour-breathingsatireandspleneticimpartialityartthou!

Towardstheconclusion,havingfinishedmyfrightfulportraiture

ofoverhangingevils,Iendeavouredtoallaythestormmyarthad

raisedbymakingfuturityasbrightasthepasthadbeengloomy.

TheCountofOlivarezwas

broughtinattheclose,likethetutelarydeityofanancient

commonwealthinthecrisisofitsfate.Ipromisedmorethan

paganismeverfeignedorchivalryfanciedinthewildestofits

crusadingprojects.Inaword,Isoexactlyexecutedwhatthenew

ministermeant,thatheseemednottoknowhisownhintsagain,

whendrawnoutinmyemphaticandappropriatelanguage.

Santillane,saidhe,doyouknowthatthisismorelikethe

compositiononemightexpectfromasecretaryofstate,thanlike

thatofaprivatesecretary?Icannolongerbesurprisedthat

theDukeofLermawasfondofcallingyourtalentsintoaction.

Yourstyleisconcise,andbynomeansinelegant;butitcreeps

rathertoomuchinthelevelpathsofnature.Atthesametime,

pointingoutthepassageswhichdidnothithisfancy,he

correctedthem;andIgatheredfromthetoucheshethrewin,that

Navarrowasrightinsayingheaffectedsententiouswit,but

mistookforitquaintandstaleconceits.Nevertheless,thoughhe

preferredthestately,orratherthegrotesqueinwriting,he

sufferedtwothirdsofmyperformancetostandwithout

alteration;andbywayofprovinghowentirelyhewassatisfied,

sentmethreehundredpistolesbyDonRaymondafterdinner.

CH.VI.Theapplicationofthethreehundredpistoles,and

Scipio’scommissionconnectedwiththem.Successofthestate

papermentionedinthelastchapter.

THIShandsomepresentoftheministerfurnishedScipiowithanew

subjectofcongratulation,byreasonofoursecondappearanceat

court.Youmayremark,saidhe,thatfortuneispreparingaload

ofaggrandizementtolayonyourlordship’sshoulders.Areyou

stillsorryforhavingturnedyourbackonsolitude?Maythe

CountofOlivarezliveforever!heisaverydifferentsortofa

masterfromhispredecessor.TheDukeofLerma,withallyour

devotiontohisservice,leftyoutoliveuponsuctionformonths

withoutapistoletoblessyourselfwith;andthecounthas

alreadymadeyouapresentwhichyoucouldhavehadnoreasonto

expectbutafteracourseoflongservice.

Ishouldverymuchlike,addedhe,thatthelordsofLeyvashould

bewitnessesofyourgreatsuccess,oratleastthattheyshould

beinformedofit.Itishightimeindeed,answeredI,andI

meanttospeakwithyouonthatsubject.Theymustdoubtlessbe

impatienttohearofmyproceedings,butIwaitedtillmyfate

wasfixed,andtillIcoulddecideforcertainwhetherIshould

stayatcourtornot.NowthatIamsureofmydestination,you

haveonlytosetoutforValenciawheneveryouplease,andto

acquaintthosenoblemenwithmypresentsituation,whichI

considerastheirdoing,sinceitisevidentthat,butforthem,

IshouldneverhaveresolvedonmyjourneytoMadrid.Mydear

master,criedthesonofBohemianaccident,whatjoyshallI

communicatebyrelatingwhathashappenedtoyou!WhyamInot

alreadyatthegatesofValencia?ButIshallbethereforthwith.

DonAlphonso’stwohorsesarereadyinthestable.Ishalltake

oneofmylord’sliveryservantswithme.Besidesthatcompanyis

pleasantontheroad,youknowverywelltheeffectofofficial

parade,inmakingimpressiononthenativesofaprovincialtown.

Icouldnothelplaughingatmysecretary’sfoolishvanity;and

yet,withvanityperhapsmorethanequaltohisown,Ilefthim

todoashepleased.Goaboutyourbusiness,saidI,andmakethe

bestofyourwayback;forIhaveanothercommissiontogive

you.ImeantosendyoutotheAsturiaswithsomemoneyformy

mother.ThroughneglectIhavesufferedthetimetoelapsewhenI

promisedtoremitherahundredpistoles,andpledgedyoutomake

thepaymentinperson.Suchengagementsoughttobeheldsacred

byason;andIreproachmyselfwithinaccuracyintheobservance

ofmine.Sir,answeredScipio,withinsixweeksIshallbringyou

anaccountofbothyourcommissions;havingopenedmybudgetto

thelordsofLeyva,lookedinatyourcountry-house,andtakena

peepatthetownofOviedo,therecollectionofwhichIcannot

admitintomymind,withoutturningoverthree-fourthsofthe

inhabitants,andone-halfoftheremainingquarter,tothe

correctivedisciplineofthatinfernalexecutioner,whois

supposedtobekeptonfootforthepurposeofcastigating

sinners.Ithencounteddownonehundredpistolestothatsame

sonofawanderingmotherformyhonouredparents’annuity,and

anotherhundredforhimself;meaningthatheshouldperformhis

longjourneywithoutgrumblingonmyaccountbytheway.

Somedaysafterhisdeparturehislordshipsentourmemorialto

press;anditwasnosoonerpublishedthanitbecamethetopicof

conversationineverycirclethroughoutMadrid.Thepeople,

enamouredofnovelty,tookupthiswellwrittenstatementof

theirownwretchednesswithfondpartiality;thederangementand

exhaustionofthefinances,paintedwithamixtureoftruthand

poetry,excitedastrongfeelingofpopularindignationagainst

theDukeofLerma;andifthesepaperbulletsofthebrain,cast

inthepoliticalarmouryofarival,failedtocarryvictorywith

themintheopinionsofallmankind,theywereatallevents

hailedwithtriumphbythemostclamorousofourownpartisans.

AsforthemagnificentpromiseswhichtheCountofOlivarezthrew

in,andamongothersthatofkeepingthemachineofstatein

motion,byasystemofeconomy,withoutaddingtothepublic

burdens,theywerecaughtatwithaviditybythecitizensat

large,andconsideredaspledgesofanenlightenedandpatriotic

policy,sothatthewholecityresoundedwiththeacclamationof

panegyricandcongratulationontheopeningofnewprospects.

Theminister,delightedtohavegainedhisendsoeasily,which

inthatpublicationhadonlybeentodrawpopularityupon

himself;wasnowdeterminedtoseizethesubstanceaswellas

catchattheshadow,byanactofunquestionablecreditwiththe

subject,andhighutilitytotheking’sservice.Forthat

purpose,hehadrecoursetotheemperorGalba’scontrivance,

consistinginaforcedregurgitationofill-gottenspoilsfrom

individualswhohadmadelargefortunes,hellandtheirown

consciencesknewbesthow,inthesuperintendenceoftheroyal

expenditure.Whenhehadsqueezedthesespungestilltheywere

dryagain,andhadfilledtheking’scofferswiththedrainings,

heundertooktorenderthereformpermanentbyabolishingall

pensions,notexceptinghisown,andcurtailingthegratuities

toofrequentlybestowedonfavouritesoutoftheprince’sprivy

purse.Tosucceedinthisdesign,whichhecouldnotcarryinto

effectwithoutchangingthefaceofthegovernment,hechargedme

withthecompositionofanewstatepaper,furnishingthe

substanceandtheformfromhisownidea.Hethenadvisedmeto

raisemystyleasmuchaspossibleabovethelevelofmyordinary

simplicity,andtogiveanairofmoreeloquencetomy

phraseology.Ahintissufficient,mylord,saidI;your

excellencywishestounitesublimitywithillumination,andit

shallbesoIshutmyselfupinthesameclosetwhereIhad

alreadyworkedsosuccessfully,andsatdownstifflytomytask,

firstcallingtomyaidtheloftyandclearperceptions,the

nobleandsonorousexpressions,ofmyoldinstructor,the

archbishopofGrenada.

Ibeganbylayingitdownasafirstmaximofpolitical

philosophy,thatthevitalfunctions,therespirationasitwere

ofallmonarchy,dependedonthestrictadministrationofthe

finances;thatinourparticularcasethatdutybecame

imperiouslyurgent,irresistiblyimpressingonourconsciences;

andthattherevenueshouldbeconsideredasthenervesand

sinewsofSpain,toholdherrivalsincheckandkeepherenemies

inawe.Afterthisgeneraldeclamation,Ipointedouttothe

sovereign,fortohimthememorialwasaddressed,thatbycutting

downallpensionsandperquisitesdependentontheordinary

income,hewouldnottherebydeprivehimselfofthattrulyroyal

pleasure,aprincelymunificencetowardsthoseofhissubjects

whohadestablishedafairclaimtohisfavours;becausewithout

drawinguponhistreasury,hehadthemeansofdistributingmore

acceptablerewards;thatforonebranchofservice,therewere

viceroyalties,lieutenancies,ordersofmerit,andallsortsof

militarycommissions:foranother,highjudicialsituationswith

salariesannexed,civilofficesofmagistracywithsounding

titlestogivethemconsequence;andthoughlast,notleast,all

thetemporalpossessionsofthechurchtoanimatethepietyof

itsspiritualpastors.

Thismemorial,whichwasmuchlongerthanthefirst,occupiedme

nearlythreedays;butasluckwouldhaveit,myperformancewas

exactlytomymaster’smind,whofindingitwrittenwith

sententiouscogency,andbristledupwithmetaphorsinthe

declamatoryparts,complimentedmeinthehighesttermsThatis

vastlywellexpressedindeed!saidhe,layinghisfingerona

passagehereandthere,andpickingoutallthemostinflated

sentenceshecouldfindthatlanguagebearsthestampoffine

composition,andmightpassfortheproductionofaclassic.

Courage,myfriend!Iforeseethatyourserviceswillbeworth

theirweightingold.Andyet,notwithstandingtheapplauseshe

lavishedonmyclassicalcomposition,afewofhisown

heighteningtouches,hethought,wouldmakeitreadstillbetter.

Heputagooddealofhisownstuffintoit,andthemedleywas

manufacturedintoapieceofeloquencewhichwasconsideredas

unanswerablebythekingandallthecourt.Thewholecityjoined

inopinionwiththehigherorders,derivingthemostflattering

hopesofthefuturefromthesegrandpromises,andconcluding

thatthemonarchymustrecoveritspristinesplendourduringthe

ministryofsoillustriousacharacter.Hisexcellency,finding

thatmysermononeconomywasfraughtwithpracticalinferences

ofutilitytohim,waskindenoughtowishthatIshouldprofit

bytheexerciseofmyowntalents.Inconformitythereforewith

hisnewsystemofpatronage,hegavemeanannuityoffive

hundredcrownsonthecommanderyofCastile;andtheacceptance

ofitwassomuchthemorepalatable,asnodirtyworkhadbeen

doneforit,butitwashonestly,thoughcheaply,earned.

CH.VII.—GilBlasmeetswithhisfriendFabriciooncemore;

theaccident,place,andcircumstancesdescribed;withthe

particularsoftheirconversationtogether.

NOTHINGgavehislordshipgreaterpleasurethantohearthe

generaldecisionofMadridontheconductofhisadministration.

Notadaypassedbutheinquiredwhattheyweresayingofhimin

thepoliticalworld.Hekeptspiesinpay,tobringhimanexact

accountofwhatwasgoingoninthecity.Theyparticularizedthe

mosttrivialdiscourseswhichtheyoverheard;andtheirorders

beingtosuppressnothing,hisself-lovewasgrazednowandthen,

forthepeoplehaveawayofboltingouthometruths,withoutany

nicecalculationwheretheymayglance.

Findingthatthecountlovedpoliticalsmalltalk,Imadeitmy

businesstofrequentplacesofpublicresortafterdinner,andto

chimeinwiththeconversationofgenteelpeoplewhenever

opportunityoffered.Shouldthemeasuresofgovernmenthappento

becanvassedamongthem,Iprickedupmyears,andgreedilytook

intheirdiscourse;ifanythingworthrepeatingwassaid,his

excellencywassuretohearofit.Itcanscarcelybenecessary

tohint,thatInevercarriedhomeanythingwhichwasnotlikely

topayfortheporterage.

Oneday,returningfromoneoftheselittleconversational

parties,myroadlayinfrontofanhospital.Itoccurredtome

togoin.Iwalkedthroughtwoorthreewards,filledwith

diseasedpatients,andexaminedtheirbedstoseethattheywere

properlytakencareof.Amongtheseunhappywretches,whomI

couldnotlookatwithoutthemostpainfulfeelings,Iobserved

onewhosefeaturesstruckme:itsurelycouldbenootherthan

Fabricio,mycountrymanandchum!Tolookathimmoreclosely,I

drewnearhisbedside,andfindingbeyondapossibilityofdoubt

thatitwasthepoetNunez,Istoppedtolookathimforafew

secondswithoutsayingaword.Healsofixedhisregardsonme.

Atlengthbreakingsilence:Donotmyeyesdeceiveme?saidI.Is

itindeedFabricio,andhere?Itisindeed,answeredhe,coldly,

andyouneednotwonderatit.Sinceweparted,Ihavebeen

workingindefatigablyatthetradeofanauthor:Ihavewritten

novels,play;andworksofgeniusineverydepartment.Mybrain

isfairlyspunout,andhereIam.

Icouldnothelplaughingatsuchasketchofliterarybiography;

andstillmoreattheseriousairoftheaccompanyingaction.

What!criedI,hasyourmusebroughtyoutothispass?Hasshe

playedyousuchajade’strickasthis?Evenasyouwitness,

answeredhe;thisestablishmentisasortofhalfpayreceptacle

forinvalidsonthemuster-rollofdisabledwit.Youhaveacted

discreetly,mygoodfriend,tolayyourselfoutforpromotionin

adifferentline.Buttheytellme,youarenolongeracourtier,

andthatyourprospectsinpoliticallifewereallblasted;nay,

theywentsofarastoaffirm,thatyouwerecommittedtoclose

custodybytheking’sorder.Theytoldyounomorethanthe

truth,repliedI:thedelightfulvisionofpoliticaleminence

whereinyouleftmelast,soonshiftedthesceneofmyincoherent

dreamstoaprisonandcompletedestitution.Butforallthat,my

friend,hereyoubeholdmeagaininabetterplightthanever.

Thatisquiteoutofthequestion,saidNunez:yourdeportmentis

discreetanddecent,youhavenotthatsuperciliousanddevil-take-the-hindermostsortofaspect,whichgoodkeepcommunicates

tothehumanface.Thereversesofthischequeredlife,replied

I,havebroughtmedowntothelevelofthemoremodestvirtues;

Ihavetakenalessonintheschoolofadversity,toenjoythe

possessionofagoodstudwithoutridingthegreathorse.

Tellmethencandidly,criedFabricio,raisinghisheaduponhis

handwithhiselbowuponthepillow,whatyourpresentoccupation

canpossiblybe.Astewardperhapstosomenoblemanoutat

elbows,ormanofbusinesstosomerichwidow!Somethingbetter

thaneithertheoneortheother,rejoinedI,butexcusemefrom

sayingmoreatpresent:anothertimeyourcuriosityshallbe

satisfied.Itisenoughatpresenttoassureyouthatmymeans

areequaltomyinclination,andthatyoumaycommand

independencethroughme;butthenyoumustsubmittoanembargo

onyourwit,andanon-intercourseactbetweenyouandthe

facultyofwriting,whetherinverseorprose.Canyoumakethis

sacrificetomyfriendship?Ihavealreadymadeittothepowers

above,saidhe,inmylastcriticalsickness.ADominicanmademe

forswearpoetry,asanamusementborderingoncriminality,butat

alleventsbesidetheturnpike-roadofgoodsense.Iwishyou

joy,mydearNunez,repliedI;bewareofarevoke.Thereisnot

theleastdangeronthathead,rejoinedhe:theMusesandIhave

agreedontermsofseparation:justasyoucameinatthatdoor,

Iwasconningoverafarewellode.GoodmasterFabricio,saidI,

withawiseswaggingtoandfroofmyhead,itisadoubtful

questionwhetheryourvowofabjurationoughttopasscurrent

withtheDominicanandmyself:youseemoverheadandearsin

lovewiththosevirginsincarnate.No,no,contendedhe

peevishly,Ihavecuttheconnectionasunder.Naymore,Ihave

quarrelledwiththeirkeepers,thepublic.Thereadersofthese

daysdonotdeserveanauthorofmoregeniusthanthemselves:I

shouldbesorrytowritedowntotheircomprehension.Youarenot

tosupposethatthisisthelanguageofdisgust;itismysincere

andwell-weighedopinion.Applauseandhissesarejustthesame

tome.Itisatossupwhofailsandwhosucceeds:thewitofto-dayistheblockheadofto-morrow.Whatcursedfoolsour

dramatistsmustbe,tocareforanythingbuttheirpoundagewhen

theirplayshappentobereceived!Itisallverywellforafew

nights!Butonlyfancyarevivalattheendoftwentyyears,and

whatafiguretheywillcutthen!Theaudiencesofthepresent

dayturnuptheirnosesatthestockpiecesofthelastage,and

itisaquestionwhethertheirtastewillfarebetterwiththeir

morecriticaldescendants.Ifthatconjecturebeprobable,the

inventorsofclap-trapsnowwillbethebuttofcatcalls

hereafter.Itisjustthesamewithnovelwriters,andallother

manufacturersofunnecessaryliterature:theystrutandfretfor

anhour,andthenarenomoreseenorheardof.Thegloriesof

successfulauthorshiparethemerevapoursofamurkyatmosphere,

meteorsofamarsh,foulcoruscationsofadunghill,cathedral

taperstoputoutthegalaxy,blueflamesofcoarsepaperheld

overacandle.

Thoughthesecaricaturesofrivalrenownwerethemerecreations

ofjealousyinthepoetoftheAsturias,itwasnotmybusiness

tocorrecthisilltemper.Iamdelighted,saidI,thatwitand

youhavehadsoseriousaquarrel;andthatthediarrhoeaofyour

inventivefacultieshasbeencuredbyanastringent.Youmay

dependonit,Iwillputyouinthewayofagoodlivelihood,

withoutdrawingdeepuponyourintellectualcredit.Somuchshe

better,criedhe;witsmellslikecarrioninmynostrils,or

ratherlikeapungentanddeleteriousperfume;fragranttothe

sense,butcorrosivetothevitals.Iheartilywish,mydear

Fabricio,resumedI,thatyoumayalwayskeepinthatmind.Only

washyourhandscompletelyofpoetry,andyoumaydependonit,I

willenableyoutokeepyourheadabovewaterwithoutpickingor

stealing.Inthemeanwhile,addedI,slippingapurseofsixty

pistolesintohishand,acceptthisasaslightinstanceofmy

regard.

Ofriendlikethefriendsindaysofyore,criedthesonof

barberNunez,outofhiswitswithjoyandgratitude,itwas

heavenitselfwhichsentyouintothishospital,whenceyour

goodnessisnowdischargingme!Beforeweparted,Igavehimmy

address,andinvitedhimtocomeandseemeassoonashishealth

wouldpermit.Heopenedhiseyesasanoysterdoesitsshell,

whenItoldhimthatIlodgedundertheminister’sroof.O

illustriousGilBlas!saidhe,greatasPompeyandfortunateas

Sylla,whoselotitistobehandinglovewiththedictatorsof

moderntimes!Irejoicemostdisinterestedlyinyourgood

fortune,becauseitissoveryevidentwhatanobleuseyoumake

ofit.

CH.VIII.—GilBlasgetsforwardprogressivelyinhismaster’s

affections.Scipio’sreturntoMadrid,andaccountofhis

journey.

THECountofOlivarez,whomIshallhenceforwardcallmylord

duke,becausethekingwaspleasedtoconferthatdignityonhim

aboutthistime,wasinfestedwithaweaknesswhichIdidnot

suffertopasswithouttakingtoll:itwasafuriousdesireof

beingbeloved.Themomenthefanciedthatanyonereallyliked

him,hisheartwascaughtinatrap.Thiswasnotlostuponmy

keensenseofcharacter.Itwasnotenoughtodopreciselyashe

ordered;Isuperaddedazealintheexecutionwhichmadehim

mine.Ilaidmyselfouttohislikingineverything,andprovided

beforehandforhismosteccentricwishes.

Byconductlikethis,whichalmostalwaysanswers,Ibecameby

degreesmymaster’sfavourite;andhe,ontheotherhand,asif

hehadgotroundtomyblindsidealso,wormedhimselfintomy

affections,bygivingmehisown.SoforwarddidIgetintohis

goodgraces,astohalvehisconfidencewithSignorCarnero,his

principalsecretary.

Carnerohadplayedmygame;andthatsosuccessfully,astobe

intrustedwiththegreatermysteries.Wetwothereforewerethe

keepersoftheprimeminister’sconscience,andheldthekeysof

allhissecrets:withthisdifference,thatCarnerowasconsulted

onstateaffairs,myselfabouthisprivateconcerns,dividingthe

businessintotwoseparatedepartments;andwewereeachofus

equallypleasedwithourown.Welivedtogetherwithoutjealousy,

andcertainlywithoutattachment.Ihadeveryreasontobe

satisfiedwithmyquarters,wherecontinualintercoursegaveme

anopportunityofpryingintotheduke’sinmostsoul,whichwasa

maskedbatterytoallmankindbeside,butplainasapikestaffto

me,whenhenolongerquestionedthesincerityofmyattachment

tohint.

Santillane,saidheoneday,youwerewitnesstotheDukeof

Lerma’spossessionofanauthority,morelikethatofanabsolute

monarchthanafavouriteminister;andyetIamstillhappier

thanhewasattheverysummitofhisgoodfortune.Hehadtwo

formidableenemiesinhisownson,theDukeofUzeda,andinthe

confessorofPhiliptheThird:butthereisnoonenowaboutthe

kingwhohascreditenoughtostandinmyway,oreven,asIam

aware,theslightestinclinationtodomemischief.

Itistrue,continuedhe,thatonmyaccessiontotheministry,

itwasmyfirstcaretoremoveallhangers-onfromaboutthe

princebutthoseofmyownfamilyorconnections.Bymeansof

viceroyaltiesorembassiesIgotridofallthenobilitywho,by

theirpersonalmerit,couldhaveinterferedwithmeinthegood

gracesofthesovereign,whomImeantoengrossentirelyto

myself;inthatImaysayatthepresentmoment,nostatesmanof

thetimeholdsmeincheckbytheascendancyofhispersonal

influence.Yousee,GilBlas,Iopenmymindtoyou.AsIhave

reasontothinkthatyouaremineheartandsoul,Ihavechosen

toputyouinpossessionofeverything.Youareacleveryouth;

withreflection,penetration,anddiscretion:inshort,youare

justtheverycreaturetoacquityourselfofallpossiblelittle

officesinallpossibledirections;youarealsoayoungfellow

ofverypromisingparts,andmustinthenatureofthingsbein

myinterests.

Therewasnostandingtheattackwhichtheseflattering

representationswerecalculatedtomakeupontheweaklydefended

fortressofmyphilosophy.Unauthorizedwhimsofavariceand

ambitionmountedsuddenlyintomyhead,andbroughtforward

certainsentimentsofpoliticalspeculationwhichweresupposed

tohavebeeninabeyance.IgavetheministeranassurancethatI

shouldfulfilhisintentionstotheutmostofmypower,andheld

myselfinreadinesstoexecutewithoutexaminationorinference

alltheordersitmightbehispleasuretogiveme.

WhileIwasthusdisposedtotakefortuneinheraffablefit,

Scipioreturnedfromhisperegrination.Ihavenolongstoryfor

you,saidhe.ThelordsofLeyvaweredelightedatyourreception

fromtheking,andatthemannerinwhichtheCountofOlivarez

andyoucametounderstandoneanother.

Myfriend,saidI,youwouldhavedelightedthemstillmore,had

youbeenabletotellthemonwhatafootingIamnowwithmy

lord.Myadvancessinceyourdeparturehavebeenprodigious.

Happymanbehisdole,mydearmaster,answeredhe:mymind

forebodesthatweshallcutafigure.

Letuschangethesubject,saidI,andtalkofOviedo.Youhave

beenintheAsturias.Howdidyouleavemymother?Ah,sir!

repliedhe,withanundertaker’sdecencyofcountenance,Ihavea

melancholytaletotellyoufromthatquarter.Oheaven!

exclaimedI,mymotherthenisdead!Sixmonthssince,saidmy

secretary,didthegoodladypaythedebtofnature,andyour

uncle,SignorGilPerez,aboutthesameperiod.

Mymother’sdeathpreyeduponmysusceptiblenature,thoughinmy

childhoodIhadnotreceivedfromherthoselittlefondling

indicationsofmaternallove,sonecessarytoamalgamatewiththe

moreseriousconvictionsoffilialduty.Thegoodcanon,too,

cameinforhisshareinbringingmeupaccordingtotherulesof

godlinessandhonesty.Myseriousgriefwasnotlasting:butI

neverlostsightofacertaintenderrecollection,wheneverthe

ideaofmydearrelationsshotacrossmymind.

CH.IX..—Howmylorddukemarriedhisonlydaughter,andto

whom:withthebitterconsequencesofthatmarriage.

VERYshortlyafterthesonofCoselina’sreturn,mylordduke

fellintoabrownstudy,anditlastedacompleteweek.I

conceived,ofcourse,thathewasbroodingoversomegreat

measureofgovernment;butfamilyconcernsweretheobjectofhis

musings.GilBlas,saidheonedayafterdinner,youmayperceive

thatmymindisagooddealdistracted.Yes,mygoodfriend,Iam

ponderingoveranaffairoftheutmostconsequencetomy

feelings.Youshallknowallaboutit.

Mydaughter,DonnaMaria,pursuedhe,ismarriageable,andof

coursebesetwithsuitors.TheCountdeNi�bl�s,eldestsonof

theDukedeMedinaSidonia,headoftheGuzmanfamily,andDon

LewisdeHaro,eldestsonoftheMarquisdeCarpioandmyeldest

sister,arethetwomostlikelycompetitors.Thelatterin

particularissuperiorinpointofmerittoallhisrivals,so

thatthewholecourthasfixedonhimformyson-in-law.

Nevertheless,withoutenteringintoprivatemotivesfortreating

him,aswellastheCountdeNi�bl�s,witharefusal,mypresent

viewsarefixeduponDonRamiresNunezdeGuzman,Marquisof

Toni,headoftheGuzmansd’Abrados,anotherbranchofthe

family.TothatnoblemanandhisprogenybymydaughterImeanto

leaveallmyproperty,andtoentailonthemthetitleofCount

d’Olivarez,withtheadditionaldignityofgrandee;sothatmy

grandchildrenandtheirdescendants,issueoftheAbradosand

Olivarezbranch,willbeconsideredastakingprecedenceinthe

houseofGuzman.

Tellmenow,Santillane,addedhe,doyounotlikemyproject?

Excuseme,mylord,pleadedI,withashrug,thedesignisworthy

ofthegeniuswhichgavebirthtoit:myonlyfearis,lestthe

DukeofMedinaSidoniashouldthinkfittobeoutofhumourat

it.Lethimtakeitashelist,resumedtheminister;Igive

myselfverylittleconcernaboutthat.Hisbranchisnofavourite

withme:theyhavechousedthatofAbradosoutoftheir

precedenceandmanyoftheirprivileges.Ishallbefarless

affectedbyhisillhumoursthanbythedisappointmentofmy

sister,theMarchionessdeCarpio,whensheseesmydaughterslip

throughherson’sfingers.Butletthatbeasitmay.Iam

determinedtopleasemyself,andDonRamiresshallbetheman;it

isasettledpoint.

Mylordduke,havingannouncedthisfirmresolve,didnotcarry

itintoeffectwithoutgivinganewproofofhissingularpolicy.

Hepresentedamemorialtotheking,entreatinghimandthequeen

inconcert,todohimthehonouroftakingthechoiceofa

husbandforhisdaughteronthemselves,atthesametime

acquaintingthemwiththepretensionsofthesuitors,and

professingtoabidebytheirelection;buthetookcare,when

namingtheMarquisdeToral,toevinceclearlywhitherhisown

wishespointed.Theking,therefore,withablinddeferencefor

hisminister,answeredthus:“IthinkthatDonRamiresNunez

deservesDonnaMaria:butdetermineforyourself.Thematchof

yourownchoosingwillbemostagreeabletome.”(Signed)THE

KING.

Theministermadeapointofshewingthisanswereverywhere;and

affectingtoconsideritasaroyalmandate,hastenedhis

daughter’smarriagewiththeMarquisdeToral;adeath-blowto

thehopesoftheMarchionessdeCarpio,andtherestofthe

GuzmanswhohadbeenspeculatingonanalliancewithDonnaMaria.

Theserivalplayersofalosinggame,notbeingabletobreakoff

thematch,putthebestfacetheycoulduponit,andmadethe

fashionableworldtoresoundwiththeircostlycelebrationsof

theeventAsuperficialobservermighthavefanciedthatthe

wholefamilywasdelightedwiththearrangement;butthepouters

andill-wishersweresoonrevengedmostcruellyatmylordduke’s

expense.DonnaMariawasbroughttobedofadaughterattheend

oftenmonths;theinfantwasstill-born,andthemotherdieda

fewdayafterwards.

Whatalossforafatherwhohadnoeyes,asonemaysay,butfor

hisdaughter,andinherlossfeltthemiscarriageofhisdesign

toquashtherightofprecedenceinthebranchofMedinaSidonia!

Stungtothequickbyhismisfortune,heshuthimselfupfor

severaldays,andwasvisibletonoonebutmyself;asincere

sympathiser,fromtherecollectionofmyownexperienceinhis

sorrow.TheoccasiondrewforthfreshtearstoAntonia’smemory.

ThedeathoftheMarchionessdeToral,undercircumstancesso

similar,toreopenawoundimperfectlyskinnedover,andso

exasperatedmyaffliction,thattheminister,thoughhehad

enoughtodowithhisownsufferings,couldnothelptaking

noticeofmine.Itseemedunaccountablehowexactlyhisfeelings

wereechoed.GilBlas,saidheoneday,whenmytearsseemedto

feeduponindulgence,mygreatestconsolationconsistsinhaving

abosomfriendsomuchalivetoallmydistresses.Ah!mylord,

answeredI,givinghimthefullcreditofmyamiabletenderness,

ImustbeungratefulanddegenerateinmynatureifIdidnot

lamentasformyself.CanIbeawarethatyoumournovera

daughterofaccomplishedmerit,whomyoulovedsotenderly,

withoutsheddingtearsoffellow-feeling!No,mylord,Iamtoo

muchnaturalizedtoyouonthesideofobligation,nottotakea

permanentinterestinallyourpleasuresanddisappointments.

CH.X.—GilBlasmeetswiththepoetNunezbyaccident,and

learnsthathehaswrittenatragedy,whichisonthepointof

beingbroughtoutatthetheatreroyal.Theillfortuneofthe

piece,andthegoodfortuneofitsauthor.

THEministerbegantopickuphiscrumbs,andmyselfconsequently

togetintofeatheragain,whenoneeveningIwentoutalonein

thecarriagetotakeanairing.OntheroadImetthepoetofthe

Asturias,whohadbeenlosttomyknowledgeeversincehis

dischargefromthehospital.Hewasverydecentlydressed.I

calledhimup,gavehimaseatinmycarriage,andwedrove

togethertoSaintJerome’smeadow.

MasterNunez,saidI,itisluckyformetohavemetyou

accidentally;forotherwiseIshouldnothavehadthepleasure.

…Noseverespeeches,Santillane,interruptedhewith

considerableeagerness:ImostownfranklythatIdidnotmeanto

keepupyouracquaintance,andIwilltellyouthereason.You

promisedmeagoodsituationprovidedIabjuredpoetry,butI

havefoundaveryexcellentone,onconditionofkeepingmy

talentsinconstantplay.Iacceptedthelatteralternative,as

squaringbestwithmyownhumour.Afriendofminegotmean

employmentunderDonBertrandGomezDelRibero,treasurerofthe

king’sgalleys.ThisDonBertrand,wantingtohaveawitinhis

pay,andfindingmyturnforpoeticalcompositionverymuchin

unisonwithhisownsenseofwhatisexcellent,haschosenmein

preferencetofiveorsixauthorswhoofferedthemselvesas

candidatesfortheplaceofhisprivatesecretary.

Iamdelightedatthenews,mydearFabricio,saidI,forthis

DonBertrandmustbeveryrich.Richindeed!answeredhe;they

saythathedoesnotknowhimselfhowmuchheisworth.However

thatmaybe,mybusinessunderhimisasfollows.Heprides

himselfonhisturnforgallantry,atthesametimewishingto

passforamanofgenius:hethereforekeepsupanepistolary

intercourseofwitwithseveralladieswhohaveaninfinitedeal,

andborrowsmybraintoinditesuchlettersasmayamplifythe

opinionofhissprightlinessandelegance.Iwritetooneforhim

inverse,toanotherinprose,andsometimescarrytheletters

myself,toprovetheagilityofmyheelsaswellastheingenuity

ofmyhead.

Butyoudonottellme,saidI,whatImostwanttoknow.Areyou

wellpaidforyourepigrammaticcardsofcompliment?Yes,most

plentifully,answeredhe.Richmenarenotalwaysopen-handed;

andIknowsomewhoaredownrightcurmudgeons;butDonBertrand

hasbehavedinthemosthandsomemanner.Besidesasalaryoftwo

hundredpistoles,Ireceivesomelittleoccasionalperquisites

fromhim,sufficienttosetmeabovetheworld,andenablemeto

liveonanequalfootingwithsomechoicespiritsoftheliterary

circles,whoarewilling,likemyself,tosetcareatdefiance.

Butthen,resumedI,hasyourtreasurercriticalskillenoughto

distinguishthebeautiesofaperformancefromitsblemishes?The

leastlikelymanintheworld,answeredNunez:aflippant-tongued

smatterer,withamiserableassortmentofmaterialsforjudging.

Yethegiveshimselfoutforchiefjusticeandlordpresidentof

Apollo’stribunal.Hisdecisionsareadventurous,ifnotalways

lucky;whilehisopinionsaremaintainedinsohighatoneand

withsobullyingachallengeofinfallibility,thatninetimes

outoftentheissueofanargumentissilence,thoughnot

conviction,onthepartoftheopponent,asameasureof

precautionagainstthegatheringstormoffoullanguageand

contemptuoussneers.

Youmayreadilysuppose,continuedhe,thatItakeespecialcare

nevertocontradicthim,thoughitalmostexceedshumanpatience

toforbear:for,tosaynothingoftheunpalatablephrasesthat

mightbehaileddownonmydefencelesshead,Ishouldstanda

verygoodchanceofbeingshovedbytheshouldersoutofdoors.I

thereforeamdiscreetenoughtoapprovewhathepraises,andto

condemnwithoutmitigationorappealwhateverheispleasedto

findfaultwith.Bythiseasycompliance,forpoetsarecompelled

toacquireaknackofknockingundertothosebywhomtheylive,

notevenexceptingtheirbooksellers,Ihavegainedtheesteem

andfriendshipofmypatron.Hehasemployedmetowritea

tragedyonaplotofhisown.Ihaveexecuteditunderhis

inspection;andifthepiecesucceeds,apercentageonthelaud

andhonourmustaccruetohim.

Iaskedourpoetwhatwasthetitleofhistragedy.Heinformed

methatitwas“TheCountofSaldagna,”andthatitwouldcome

outintwoorthreedays.ItoldhimthatIwisheditall

possiblesuccess,andthoughtsofavourablyofhisgenius,asto

entertainconsiderablehopes.SodoI,saidhe,buthopenever

tellsamoreflatteringtalethanintheearofadramatic

author.Youmightaswellattempttofixthewindbynailingthe

weathercock,asspeculateonthereceptionofanewpiecewithan

audience.

Atlength,thedayofperformancearrived.Icouldnotgotothe

play,beingpreventedbyofficialbusiness.Theonlythingtobe

donewastosendScipio,thathemightbringmebackwordhowit

wentoff;forIwassincerelyinterestedintheevent.After

waitingimpatientlyforhisreturn,inhecamewithalongface

whichbodednogood.Well,saidI,howwas“TheCountof

Saldagna”welcomedbythecritics?Veryroughly,answeredhe;

neverwasthereaplaymorebrutallyhandled;Ileftthehousein

highangerattheinjusticeandinsolenceofthepit.Itserves

himright,rejoinedI.Nunezisnobetterthanamadman,tohe

alwaysrunninghisheadagainstthestonewallsofatheatre.If

hewasinhissenses,couldhehavepreferredthehissesand

catcallsofanunfeelingmob,totheeaseanddignityhemight

havecommandedundermypatronage?ThusdidIinveighwith

friendlyvehemenceagainstthepoetoftheAsturias,anddisturb

theeventenorofmymindforanevent,whichthesuffererhailed

withjoy,andinsertedamongthewell-omenedparticularsofhis

journal.

Hecametoseemewithintwodays,andappearedinhighspirits.

Santillane,criedhe,Iamcometoreceiveyourcongratulations.

Myfortuneismade,myfriend,thoughmyplayismarred.Youknow

whatamistaketheymadeonthefirstandlastnightof“The

CountofSaldagna;”hissedinsteadofapplauding!Youwouldhave

thoughtallthewildbeastsoftheforesthadbeenletloose,

withtheirearsfortifiedagainstthesofteningpowerofpoetry:

butthemoretheybellowed,thebetterIfared,andtheyhave

roaredmeintoaprovisionforlife.

Therewasnoknowingwhattomakeofthisincidentinthedrama

ofourpoet’sadventures.Whatisallthis,Fabricio?saidI:how

cantheatricaldamnationhaveconjuredupsuchElysianecstacy?

Itisexactlyso,answeredhe:ItoldyoubeforethatDon

Bertrandhadthrowninsomeofthecircumstances;andhewas

fullyconvincedthattherewasnodefectbutinthetasteofthe

spectators.Theymightheverygoodjudges;but,iftheywere,he

wasnojudgeatall!Nunez!saidhethismorning;

VictrixcausaDiisplacuit,sedvictaCatoni.

[Membersofparliament,andtheladies,willprobablyexpecta

translationofthesehardwords;butIrefertheformertotheir

dictionaries,towhichtheybadealongfarewellonleavingEton

orHarrow;andthelattertoanextendedparaphraseoffiveacts

inthetragedyofCato.Thoseofthesoftersexwhomaythinkthe

Stoicphilosophyrudeanduncouth,willfeeltheirnervesvibrate

inunisonwiththelovescenes.—Translator.]

Yourpiecehasbeenill-receivedbythepublic;butagainstthat

youmayplacemyentireapprobation;andthusyououghttoset

yourheartatrest.Bywayofsomethingtobalancethebadtaste

oftheage,Ishallsettleanannuityoftwothousandcrownson

you:gotomysolicitor,andlethimdrawthedeed.Wehavebeen

aboutit:thetreasurerhassignedandsealed;myfirstquarter

ispaidinadvance….

IwishedFabriciojoyontheunhappyfateof“TheCountof

Saldagna,”andprobablymostauthorswouldhaveenviedhis

failuremorethanallthesuccessthateversucceeded.Youarein

theright,continuedhe,toprefermyfortunetomyfame.Whata

luckypealofdisapprobationindoublechoir!Ifthepublichad

chosentoringthechangesonmymeritsratherthanmymisdeeds,

whatwouldtheyhavedoneformypocket?Amerepaltrynothing.

Thecommonpayofthetheatremighthavekeptmefromstarving;

butthewindofpopularmalicehasblownmeacomfortable

pension,engrossedonsafeandlegalparchment.

CH.XI.—SantillanegivesScipioasituation:thelattersets

outforNewSpain.

MYsecretarycouldnotlookattheunexpectedgoodluckofNunez

thepoetwithoutenvy:hetalkedofnothingelseforaweek.The

whimsofthatbaggage,Fortune,saidhe,aremostunaccountable:

shedelightstoturnherlotterywheelintothelapofasorry

author,whileshedealsoutherdisappointmentslikeastepmothertotheraceofgoodones.Ishouldhavenoobjection,

though,ifshewouldthrowmeupaprizeinoneofhervertical

progresses.Thatislikelyenoughtohappen,saidI,andsooner

thanyouimagine.Hereyouareinhertemple;foritisscarcely

toopresumptuoustocallthehouseofaprimeministerthetemple

ofFortune,wherefavoursareconferredbywholesale,and

votariesgrowfatonthespoilsofheraltar.Thatisverytrue,

sir,answeredhe;butwemusthavepatience,andwaittillthe

happymomentcomes.Takemyadvicewhileitisworthhaving,

Scipio,repliedI,andmakeyourmindeasy:perhapsyouareon

theeveofsomegoodappointment.Andsoitturnedout;for

withinafewdaysanopportunityofferedofemployinghim

advantageouslyinmylordduke’sservice;andIdidnotsuffer

thehappymomenttopassby.

IwasengagedinchatonemorningwithDonRaymondCaporis,the

primeminister’ssteward,andourconversationturnedonthe

sourcesofhisexcellency’sincome.Mylord,saidhe,enjoysthe

commanderiesofallthemilitaryorders,yieldingarevenueof

fortythousandcrownsayear;andheisonlyobligedtowearthe

crossofAlcantara.Moreover,histhreeofficesofgreat

chamberlain,masterofthehome,andhighchancellorofthe

Indies,bringhiminnnincomeoftwohundredthousandcrowns;

andyetallthisisnothingincomparisonoftheimmensesums

whichhereceivesthroughothertransatlanticchannels;butyou

willbepuzzledtoguesshow.WhenvesselsclearoutfromSeville

orLisbonforthosepartsoftheworld,heshipswine,oil,

grain,andotherarticles,theproduceofhisownestate;andhis

consignmentsaredutyfree.Withthatperquisiteinhispocket,

hesellshismerchandiseforfourtimesitscurrentpricein

Spain,andthenlaysoutthemoneyinspices,colouring

materials,andotherthingswhichcostnexttonothinginthenew

world,andaresoldverydearinEurope.Alreadyhasherealized

somemillionsbythistraffic,withoutdetractingfromthedues

ofhisroyalmaster.

Youwilleasilyaccountforit,continuedhe,thatthepeople

concernedincarryingonthistradereturnwithgreatfortunesin

theirpockets;formylordthinksitbutreasonablethatthey

shoulddividetheirdiligencebetweenhisbusinessandtheirown.

Thatshrewdsonofchanceandopportunity,ofwhomweare

speaking,overheardourconversation,andcouldnothelp

interruptingDonRaymondtothefollowingpurport.Uponmyword,

SignorCaporis,Ishouldliketobeoneofthosepeople;forIam

fondoftravelling,andhavelongwishedtoseeMexico.Your

inclinationsasatouristshallsoonbegratified,saidthe

steward,ifSignordeSantillanewillnotstandinthewayof

yourwishes.HoweverparticularImaythinkitmydutytobe

aboutthepersonswhomIsendtotheWestIndiesinthat

capacity,andtheyareallofmyappointment,youshallbeplaced

onthelistatalladventures,ifyourmasterwishesit.Youwill

conferonmeaparticularfavour,saidItoDonRaymond;beso

goodastodoitinkindnesstome.Scipioisayoungfellowmuch

inmygoodgraces,verycapableinbusiness,andwillbefound

irreproachableinhisconduct.Inaword,Iwouldassoonanswer

forhimasmyself.

Thatbeingthecase,repliedCaporis,hehasonlytorepair

immediatelytoSeville:theshipsaretosailforSouthAmerica

inamonth.Ishallgivehimaletterathisdepartureforaman

whowillputhiminthewayofmakingafortune,withoutthe

slightestinterferenceinhisexcellency’sduesandprofits,

whichoughttobeheldsacredbyhim.

Scipio,delightedwithhisberth,wasinhastetosetoutfor

SevillewithathousandcrownswithwhichIfurnishedhim,to

makepurchasesofwineandoilinAndalusia,andenablehimto

tradeonhisownbottomintheWestIndies.Andyet,overjoyedas

hewastomakeavoyage,andashehopedhisfortunetherewithal,

hecouldnotpartfrommewithouttears:andtheseparation

raisedthewatersevenfrommydryfountains.

CH.XII.—DonAlphonsodeLeyvacomestoMadrid;themotiveof

hisjourneyasevereafflictiontoGilBlas,andacauseof

rejoicingsubsequentthereon.

NosoonerhadIpartedwithScipiothanoneoftheminister’s

pagesbroughtmeanoteconceivedinthefollowingterms:“If

SignordeSantillanewilltakethetroubleofcallingatthesign

ofSaintGabriel,intheStreetofToledo,hewillthereseea

friendwhoisnotindifferenttohim.”

Whocanthisnamelessfriendpossiblybe?saidItomyself.What

canbethemeaningofallthismystery?Obviouslytooccasionme

thepleasureofasurprise.Iattendedthesummonsimmediately,

andonmyarrivalattheplaceappointed,wasnotalittle

astonishedtofindDonAlphonsodeLeyvathere.Isitpossible!

exclaimedI:youhere,mylord?Yes,mydearGilBlas,answered

hewithaclosecompressionofmyhandinhis,itisDonAlphonso

himself.Well!butwhatbringsyoutoMadrid?saidI.Youwillbe

notalittlestartled,rejoinedhe,andnolessvexedatthe

occasionofmyjourney.TheyhavetakenmygovernmentofValencia

fromme,andtheprimeministerhassentformetogivean

accountofmyconduct.ForawholequarterofanhourIwaslike

amanstupefied;thenrecoveringthepowersofspeech:Ofwhat,

saidI,areyouaccused?Iknownothingatallaboutit,answered

he;butmydisgraceisprobablyowingtoavisitpaidaboutthree

weeksagototheCardinalDukeofLerma,whowasbanishedabouta

monthsincetohisseatatDenia.

Yes,indeed!criedIinapet,youmaywellattributeyour

misfortunetothatimprudentvisit:thereisnooccasiontolook

outforcausesandeffectselsewhere;butgivemeleavetosay

thatyouhavenotactedwithyourusualgoodsense,inclaiming

acquaintancewiththatfavouriteoutoffavour.Theleapis

taken,andtheneckbroken,saidhe;andIhavenothingtodobut

tomakethebestoutofabadbargain:Ishallretirewithmy

familytoourpaternalestateatLeyva,wheretheremnantofmy

dayswillglideawayinpeaceandobscurity.Whattauntsand

teasesme,istherequisitionofappearingbeforeahaughty

minister,whomayreceivemewithalltheinsolenceofoffice.

HowhumiliatingtotheprideofaSpaniard!Andyetitisa

measureofnecessity;butbeforethedegradingceremonytook

place,Iwantedtotalkitoverwithyou.Sir,saidI,donot

announceyourarrivaltotheminister,tillIhaveascertained

thenatureofthereportstoyourdiscredit;fortherearefew

evilswithoutaremedy.Whatevermaybeyourallegedcrimes,you

willgivemeleave,ifyouplease,toactintheaffairas

gratitudeandfriendshipshalldictate.Withthisassurance,I

lefthimathisinn,andpromisedtolethimhearfrommesoon.

AsIhadtakennoactivepartinstateaffairssincethetwo

memorials,inwhichmyeloquencewassosignallydisplayed,I

wenttolookforCarnero,withaviewtoinquirewhetherDon

Alphonso’sgovernmentwasreallytakenfromhim.Heansweredin

theaffirmative,butprofessednottoknowthereason.Finding

howthingsstood,Ideterminedtoapplyathead-quarters,andto

learnthegroundsofgrievancefromhislordship’sownmouth.

Myspiritswerereallyharassed;sothattherewasnoneedof

puttingonthetrappingsandthesuitsofwoe,toattractmylord

duke’snotice.Whatisthematter,Santillane?saidhe,assoon

ashesawme.Iperceiveamarkedunhappinessonyour

countenance,andtearsjustreadytotrickledownyourcheeks.

Hasanyonebehavedilltoyou?Tellme,andyoushallhaveyour

revenge.Mylord,answeredI,inamelancholytone,eventhough

mygriefwouldseektohideitself,itmusthavevent:mydespair

ispastendurance.ThereportgoesthatDonAlphonsoisnolonger

GovernorofValencia;asevererstrokecouldnothavebeen

inflictedonme.Whatsayyou,GilBlas?repliedtheministerin

astonishment:whatinterestcanyoutakeinthisDonAlphonsoand

hisgovernment?Onthisquestion,Idetailedatlengthmy

obligationstotheLordsofLeyva,andmodestlystatedmyown

interferencewiththeDukeofLerma,toobtaintheappointment

formyfriend.

Whenhisexcellencyhadheardmethroughwiththemostpoliteand

kindattention,hespokethus:Makeyourselfeasy,GilBlas.

Besidesmyentireignoranceofwhatyouhavejusttoldme,Imust

ownthatIconsideredDonAlphonsoasthecardinal’screature.

Onlyputyourselfinmyplace:wasnotthevisittohiseminence

amostsuspiciouscircumstance?YetIamwillingtobelievethat

owinghisprefermenttothatminister,hemighthaveremembered

himinhisadversityfromamotiveofpuregratitude.Iamsorry

forhavingdisplacedamanwhoowedhiselevationtoyou;butif

IhavepulleddownyourhandiworkIcanbuilditupagain.Imean

todostillmorethantheDukeofLermaforyou.YourfriendDon

AlphonsowasonlyGovernorofValencia;IappointhimViceroyof

Arragon:youmaysendhimwordsoyourself;andorderhimhither

totaketheoaths.

Atthesewords,myfeelingschangedfromextremegrieftoan

excessofjoy,whichcompletelycaricaturedthemediocrityof

commonsense,andmademeutteranincoherentrhapsodyofthanks:

butthewantofmethodinthemadnessofmydiscoursewasnot

takenamiss;andonmyhintingthatDonAlphonsowasalreadyat

Madrid,hetoldmethatImightpresenthimthisveryday.Iran

tothesignofSaintGabriel,andcommunicatedmyownrapturesto

DonCaesar’sson,byinforminghimofhisnewappointment.He

couldnotbelievewhatItoldhim;butfounditahardmatterto

persuadehimself;thattheprimeminister,thoughlikelyenough

tobeverywelldisposedtowardsme,shouldattendhisfriendship

sofarastodisposeofviceroyaltiesatmyinstance.Icarried

himwithmetomylordduke,whoreceivedhimveryaffably,

complimentedhimonhisuniformgoodconductinhisgovernmentof

Valencia,andfinishedbysayingthattheking,consideringhim

asqualifiedforahigherstation,hadnamedhimforthe

viceroyaltyofArragon.Besides,addedhe,yourfamilyisofa

ranknottodisparagethedignityoftheoffice;sothatthe

Arragonesenobilitywillhavenopleaforexceptingagainstthe

choiceofthecourt.

Hisexcellencymadenomentionofme,andthepublicwaskeptin

thedarkastomyshareinthebusiness;indeed,thisprudent

silencewasluckybothforDonAlphonsoandtheminister,since

thetonguesofdefamerswouldhavebeenbusyintakingtopieces

thepretensionsofaviceroywhoowedhisprefermenttomy

patronage.

AssoonasDonCaesar’ssoncouldspeakwithcertaintyofhisnew

honours,hesentoffanexpressforValenciawiththeinformation

tohisfatherandSeraphina,whosoonarrivedinMadrid.Their

firstobjectwastofindmeout,andplymethickandthreefold

withacknowledgments.Whataproudandaffectingsightforme,to

beholdthethreepersonsintheworldnearestmyheart,vying

witheachotherintheirtestimoniesofaffectionandgratitude!

Thepleasuremyzealseemedpersonallytogivethem,wasequalto

thedignityconferredontheirhousebythepostofviceroy.They

eventalkedwithmeonafootingofequality,andscarcely

rememberedmyoriginaldistanceorservitudeinthefervourof

theirpresentfeelings.Butnottodwellonunnecessarytopics,

DonAlphonsohavingtakentheoathsandreturnedthanks,left

Madridwithhisfamily,totakeuphisabodeatSaragossa.He

madehispublicentrywithappropriatemagnificence;andthe

Arragonesecausedittoappear,bytheircordialreception,that

Ihadaveryprettyknackatpickingoutaviceroy.

CH.XIII.—GilBlasmeetsDonGastondeCogollosandDonAndrew

deTordesillasatthedrawing-room,andadjournswiththemtoa

moreconvenientplace.ThestoryofDonGastonandDonnaHelena

deGalisteoconcluded.Santillanerenderssomeserviceto

Tordesillas.

IWASuptothehiltsinjoyathavingsomarvellously

metamorphosedanex-governorintoaviceroy;theLordsofLeyva

themselveswerenotprimedandloadedsoneartobursting.But

verysoonIhadanotheropportunityofemployingmycreditinthe

beatentrackoffriendship;andthereisthemoreoccasionto

quotetheseinstances,thatmyreadersmayclearlydiscernwith

howdifferentamantheyareincompany,fromthatgracelessGil

Blaswho,undertheformerministry,carriedonashameless

trafficinthehonoursandemolumentsofthestate.

OnedayIwaswaitingintheking’santechamber,inconversation

withsomenoblemen,who,knowingmetostandwellwiththeprime

minister,werenotashamedoftakingmebythehand.Inthecrowd

wasDonGastondeCogollos,whomIhadleftaprisonerinthe

towerofSegovia.HewaswithDonAndrewdeTordesillas,the

warden.Ireadilyquittedmycompanytogoandrenewmy

acquaintancewithmytwofriends.Iftheywereastonishedatthe

sightofme,Iwasnolesssotofindthemhere.Aftermutual

greetings,DonGastonsaid:SignordeSantillane,wehavemany

inquiriestomakeofeachother,andthisplaceaffordslittle

opportunityforprivateintercourse;allowmetorequestyour

companywherewemayopenourheartsfreely.Imadenoobjection;

wepushedourwaythroughthecrowd,andleftthepalace.Don

Gaston’scarriagewasreadywaitinginthestreet;weallthree

gotintoit,anddrovetothegreatmarket-place,wherethebull-fightsareexhibited.ThereCogolloslivedinaveryhandsome

house.

SignorGilBlas,saidDonAndrewonourentrance,atyour

departurefromSegoviayouseemedtohaveconceivedathorough

hatredagainstthecourt,andtohaveformedasettledpurposeof

abandoningitforever.Suchwas,infact,mydesign,answeredI;

norweremysentimentsatallchangedduringthelifetimeofthe

lateking;butwhentheprincehissoncametothethrone,Ihad

amindtoseewhetherthenewmonarchwouldknowmeagain.Hedid

so,andreceivedmefavourably,withastrongrecommendationto

theprimeminister,whoadmittedmetohisfriendship,andtook

memoreintohisconfidencethaneverdidtheDukeofLerma.

This,SignorDonAndrew,ismystory.Andnowtellmewhetheryou

stillholdyourofficeinthetowerofSegovia.No,indeed!

answeredhe;mylorddukehasremovedme,andputanotherinmy

room.Heprobablyconsideredmeasentirelydevotedtohis

predecessor.AndI,saidDonGaston,wassetatlibertyforthe

contraryreason;theprimeministerwasnosoonerinformedthat

myimprisonmentwasbytheDukeofLerma’sorder,thanheordered

metobereleased.Thepresentbusiness,SignorGilBlas,isto

relatethesubsequentparticularsofmyadventures.

ThefirstthingIdid,continuedhe,afterthankingDonAndrew

forhiskindattentionsduringmyconfinement,wastorepairto

Madrid.IpresentedmyselfbeforetheCountDukeofOlivarez,who

said:Youneednotbeapprehensiveofanyblemishonyour

characterinconsequenceofyourlatemisfortune;youare

honourablyacquitted:nay,yourinnocenceissomuchthemore

satisfactorilyestablished,astheMarquisofVillareal,with

whomyouweresupposedtobeimplicated,wasnotguilty.Thougha

Portuguese,andrelatedtotheDukeofBraganza,heislessin

hisintereststhaninthoseofthekingmymaster.That

connection,therefore,oughtnottohavebeenimputedtoyouasa

crime;but,torepairyourwrongs,thekinghasgivenyoua

lieutenant’scommissionintheSpanishguards.ThisIaccepted,

beggingitasafavourofhisexcellencytoallowme,beforeI

joinedmyregiment,togoandseemyaunt,DonnaEleonorade

Laxarilla,atCoria.Theministergavemeleaveofabsencefora

month,andIdepartedwithonlyoneservant

WehadgotbeyondColmenar,andwerethreadinganarrowpass

betweentwomountains,whenwecamewithinsightofagentleman

defendinghimselfbravelyagainstthreemen,whoallfellupon

himtogether.Ididnothesitateaboutgoingtohisaid;but

hastenedforwardandplantedmyselfbyhisside.Iremarkedwhile

wewerefighting,thatourenemiesweremasked,andthatwehad

todowithexpertswordsmen.Butwetriumphedovertheunited

advantagesoftheirskillanddisparity.Iranoneofthethree

throughthebody;hefellfromhishorse,andthetwoothers

immediatelybetookthemselvestoflight.Thevictoryindeedwas

scarcelylessfataltousthantothewretchwhomIhadkilled,

forwewerebothdangerouslywounded.Butconceivemysurprise,

whenIdiscoveredthegentlemantobeCombados,thehusbandof

DonnaHelena.Hewasnolessastonishedatrecognizingmeashis

defender.Ah,DonGaston!exclaimedhe,wasityou,then,who

cametomyassistance?Whenyoutookmypartsogenerously,you

littlethoughtitwasthepersonwhohadsnatchedyourmistress

fromyou.Ireallydidnotknowit,answeredI;butthoughIhad,

doyouthinkIcouldhavewaveredaboutdoingasIhavedone?Can

youentertainsoillanopinionofme,astobelievemysoulso

sordid?No,no,repliedhe;Ithinkbetterofyou;andshouldI

dieofmywounds,itwillbemyprayerthatyoursmaynotdisable

youfromprofitingbymydeath.Combados,saidI,thoughIhave

notyetforgottenDonnaHelena,knowthatIdonotpantafterthe

possessionofhercharmsattheexpenseofyourlife;sofarfrom

it,thatIcongratulatemyselfonhavingcontributedtoyour

rescuefromassassination,sincebysodoingIhaveperformedan

acceptableservicetoyourwife

Whilewewerecommuningtogether,myservantdismounted;and

drawingneartothegentlemanstretchedathislength,tookoff

hismask,whenCombados,withsensationsofgratitudeforhis

deliverance,distinctlytracedthefeatures.ItisCaprara,

exclaimedhe;thattreacherouscousinwho,inmeredisgustat

havingmissedarichinheritancewhichhehadunjustlydisputed

withme,haslongsincecherishedamurderousdesignagainstmy

life,andfixedonthisdaytoputitinexecution;butheaven

hasturnedhimovertoitsdeterminedvengeance,andmadehimthe

victimofhisownattempt.

Whilethisconversationwasgoingon,ourbloodwasflowingat

thesamerate,andwewerebecomingmoreexhaustedeveryminute.

Nevertheless,disabledaswewere,wehadstrengthenoughto

reachthetownofVillar�jo,whichlieswithingun-shotortwo

fromthefieldofbattle.Attheveryfirsthouseofcallwesent

forsurgeons.Themostexpertcameatoursummons.Heexamined

ourwounds,andreportedthemasdangerous.Aftertakingoffthe

bandagesanddressingthemasecondtime,hepronouncedthoseof

DonBlastobemortal.Ofminehethoughtmorefavourably,and

theeventcorrespondedwithhisprognostic.

Combados,findinghimselfconsignedtothegrave,thoughtonlyof

duepreparationforamostseriousevent.Hesentanexpressto

hiswife,withanaccountforwhathadhappened,particularizing

hispresentsadcondition.DonnaHelenasoonarrivedat

Villar�jo.Hermindwasdrawndifferentwaysbytwoopposite

occasionsofdistress;thehazardofherhusband’slife,andthe

fearoffeelingtherevivalofahalf-extinguishedflameatthe

sightofme.Thissightoccasionedhertoexperienceaterrible

agitation.Madam,saidDonBlas,whensheappearedinhis

presence,youarecomejustintimetoreceivemyfarewell.Iam

atthepointofdeath,andIconsidermyfateasapunishment

fromheavenforhavingtakenyoufromDonGastonbyafeint:far

frommurmuringatit,Iexhortyouwithmylastbreathtorestore

tohimaheartwhichIhadstolenfromhim.DonnaHelenaanswered

himonlybyhertears:andindeeditwasthebestanswershe

couldmake;forshehadneitherforgottenherfirstlove,northe

artificeswherebyshehadbeeninfluencedtorenounceher

plightedfaith.

Ithappenedasthesurgeonhadanticipated,thatinlessthan

threedaysCombadosdiedofhiswounds,whilemineonthe

contraryworetheappearanceofconvalescence.Theyoungwidow,

whomnoearthlyconsiderationscoulddetachfromthecareof

transportingherlatehusband’sremainstoCoria,thattheymight

bedepositedwithduehonoursinthefamilyvault,leftVillar�jo

onherreturn,afterinquiring,merelyasamatterofcourse,how

Iwasgoingon.AssoonasIwaswellenoughtoberemoved,I

bentmycoursetoCoria,wheremyrecoverywassoonascertained.

Myaunt,DonnaEleonora,andDonGeorgedeGalisteo,were

determinedthatmymarriagewithHelenashouldtakeplace

forthwith,lestsomenewcapriceoffortuneshouldpartusonce

more.Theceremonywasprivatelyperformed,onaccountofthe

latemelancholyevent,andwithinafewdaysIreturnedtoMadrid

withDonnaHelena.Asmyleaveofabsencehadexpired,Iwas

afraidlesttheministershouldhavesupersededmeinmy

lieutenancy;buthehadnotfilledupthevacancy,andreceived

myapologiesverygraciously.

ThusamI,continuedCogollos,lieutenantoftheSpanishguards,

andmysituationisexactlytomymind.Thecircleofmyfriends

isrespectableandpleasant,andIliveatmyeaseamongthem.

WouldIcouldsayasmuch!exclaimedDonAndrew:butIamvery

farfrombeingsatisfiedwithmylot;Ihavelostmyappointment,

whichwasnotwithoutitsadvantages,andhavenofriendsof

sufficientinteresttoprocuremeabetterberth.Excuseme,

SignorDonAndrew,criedI,withasortofupbraidingsmile,you

haveafriendinmewhomaychancetobebetterthannofriendat

all.IhavetoldyoualreadythatIamagreaterfavouritewith

mylorddukethanwiththeDukeofLerma;andwillyoutellmeto

myfacethatyouhavenointerestatcourt?Haveyounotalready

experiencedthecontrary?Recollectthat,throughthearchbishop

ofGrenada’spowerfulrecommendation,Iprocuredyouanomination

forMexico,whereyouwouldhavemadeyourfortune,iflovehad

notsteppedinandmarreditatAlicant.Mymeansarenowmore

extensive,sinceIhavetheearoftheprimeminister.Igive

myselfuptoyouthen,repliedTordesillas;butdonotsendme

intoNewSpain,thoughthefirstappointmentinthecolonieswere

atyourdisposal.

HerewewereinterruptedbyDonnaHelena,whocameintotheroom,

andimprovedevenuponthevisionsofmyfancybytherealityof

hercharms.Cogollosintroducedmeasthecompanionwhohad

solacedthetedioushoursofhisimprisonment.Yes,madam,saidI

toDonnaHelena,myconversationdidindeedsoothehissorrows,

foritturnedonyou.Thecomplimentwasnotthrownaway,andI

tookmyleavewithrepeatedcongratulations.Withrespectto

Tordesillas,Iassuredhimthatwithinaweekheshouldknowhow

farmypoweraswellaswillextended.

Norwerethesemerewords.Ontheverynextday,theopportunity

occurred.Santillane,saidhisexcellency,theplaceofgovernor

intheroyalprisonofValladolidisvacant:itisworthmore

thanthreehundredpistolesayear;andisyoursifyouwill

acceptofit.Notifitwereworthtenthousandducats,answered

I,foritwouldcarrymeawayfromyourlordship.But,replied

theminister,youmayfillitbydeputy,andonlyvisit

occasionally.Thatisasitmaybe,rejoinedI;butIshallonly

acceptitonconditionofresigninginfavourofDonAndrewde

Tordesillas,abraveandloyalgentleman;Ishouldliketogive

himthisplaceinacknowledgmentofhiskindnesstomeinthe

towerofSegovia.

Thispleamadetheministerlaughheartily,andsay:AsfarasI

see,GilBlas,youmeantomakeyourselfageneralpatron.Even

sobeit,myfriend;thevacancyisyoursforTordesillas;but

tellmeunfeignedlywhatfellow-feelingyouhaveinthebusiness,

foryouarenotsuchafoolastothrowawayyourinterestfor

nothing.Mylord,answeredI,DonAndrewchargedmenothingfor

allhisactsoffriendship,andshouldnotamanrepayhis

obligations?Youarebecomehighlymoralandself-mortified,

repliedhisexcellency;rathermoresothanunderthelast

administration.Preciselyso,rejoinedI;thenevilcommunication

corruptedmyprinciples;bargainandsaleweretheorderofthe

day,andIconformedtotheestablishedpractice:now,all

prefermentisallottedonthefootingofameritoriousfreegift,

andmyintegrityshallnotbethelasttofallinwiththe

fashion.

CH.XIV.—Santillane’svisittothepoetNunez,thecompanyand

conversation.

ONEday,afterdinner,afancyseizedmetogoandseethepoet

oftheAsturias,feelingasortofcuriositytoknowonwhat

floorhelodged.IrepairedtothehouseofSignorDonBertrand

GomexDelRibero,andaskedforNunez.Hedoesnotliveherenow,

saidtheporter,butovertheway,inapartmentsatthebackof

thehouse.Iwentthither,andcrossingasmallcourt,enteredan

unfurnishedparlour,wheremyfriendFabriciowassittingat

table,doingthehonourstofiveorsixguestsfromthehamlet

andlibertyofParnassus.

Theywereatthelatterendofafeast,andofcourseatthe

beginningofanaffray;butassoonastheyperceivedme,adead

silencesucceededtotheirobstreperousargumentation.Nunezrose

fromhisseatwithmuchpompandcircumstanceofpolitenessto

receiveme,saying:Gentlemen,SignordeSantillane!Hedoesme

thehonourtovisitmeunderthishumbleroof;asthefavourite

oftheprimeminister,youwillalljoinwithmeintendering

yourhumbleservices.Atthisintroduction,theworshipful

companygotupandmadetheirbestbows;formyrankcouldnot

failofprocuringmerespectfromthemanufacturersof

dedications.ThoughIwasneitherhungrynorthirsty,itwas

impossiblenottositdownanddrinkatoastinsuchsociety.

Mypresenceappearingtobearestraint,Gentlemen,saidI,it

shouldseemthatIhaveinterruptedyourconversation:resumeit,

oryoudrivemeaway.Mylearnedfriends,saidFabricio,were

discussingthe“Iphigenia”ofEuripides.Thebachelor,Melchior

deVill�gas,aclevermanofthefirstrankintherepublicof

letters,resumedthetopicbyaskingDonJacintodeRomerate

whichwasthepointofinterestinthattragedy.DonJacinto

ascribedittotheimminentdangerofIphigenia.Thebachelor

contended,offeringtoprovehispropositionbyalltheevidence

admissibleatthebaroflogicorcriticism,thatthedangerofa

trumperygirlhadnothingtodowiththerealsympathyofthat

affectingpiece.Whathastodowithitthen?bawledtheold

licentiateGabrielofLeonindignantly.Itturnswiththewind,

repliedthebachelor.

Thewholecompanyburstintoashoutoflaughteratthis

assertion,whichtheywerefarfromconsideringasserious;andI

myselfthoughtthatMelchiorhadonlylauncheditbywayof

addingthezestofwittotheseverityofcriticaldiscussion.

ButIwasoutinmycalculationrespectingthecharacterofthat

eminentscholar:hehadnotagrainofsprightlinessor

pleasantryinhiswholecomposition.Laughasyouplease,

gentlemen,repliedhe,verycoolly;Imaintainthatthereisno

circumstancebutthewind,unlessitbetheweathercock,to

interest,tostrike,torousethepassionsofthespectator.

Figuretoyourselvesamultitudinousarmy,assembledforthe

purposeoflayingsiegetoTroy;takeintoaccounttheeager

hasteoftheofficersandcommonmentocarrytheirenterprise

intoexecution,thattheymayreturnwiththeirbestlegs

foremostintoGreece,wheretheyhavelefteverythingmostdear

tothem,theirhouseholdgods,theirwivesandtheirchildren:

allthiswhileamischievouswindfromthewrongquarterkeeps

themport-boundatAulis,and,asitwere,drivesanailintothe

veryheadoftheexpedition;sothattillbetterweather,itwas

impossibletogoandlaysiegetoPriam’stown.Windandweather

thereforemakeuptheinterestofthistragedy.Mygoodwishes

arewiththeGreeks:mywholefacultiesarewrappedupinthe

successoftheirdesign;thesailingoftheirfleetiswithme

theonlyhingeofthefable,andIlookatthedangerof

Iphigeniawithsomewhatofaself-interestedcomplacency,because

byherdeaththewindingupofthestoryintoabriskand

favourablegalewaslikelytobeaccelerated,

AssoonasVill�gashadfinishedhiscriticism,thelaughburst

outmorethanever,athisexpense.Nunezwasslyenoughtoside

withhim,thatafairerscopeandbroadermarkmightbepresented

totheshaftsofmaliciouswitwhichwereletflyfromallthe

quartersintheshipman’scard,atthisposteroftheseaand

land.Butthebachelor,eyeingthemallwithsublimeindifference

andsupremecontempt,gavethemtounderstandhowlowinthelist

oftheignorantandvulgartheyrankedinhisestimation.Every

momentdidIexpecttoseethesevapouringspiritskindleintoa

blaze,andwagewaragainstthehairyhonoursofeachother’s

brainlessskulls:butthejokewasnotcarriedtothatlength;

theyconfinedtheirhostilitiestoopprobriousepithets,andtook

theirleavewhentheyhadeatenanddrunkasmuchastheycould

get.

Aftertheirdeparture,IaskedFabriciowhyhehadseparated

himselffromhistreasurer,andwhethertheyhadquarrelled.

Quarrelled!answeredhe:Heavendefendmefromsuchamisfortune!

IamonbettertermsthaneverwithSignorDonBertrand,whogave

hisconsenttomylivingapartfromhim:herethereforeIreceive

myfriends,andtakemypleasurewiththemunmolested.Youknow

verywellthatIamnotofatempertolayuptreasuresforthose

whoaretocomeafterme;andasithappensluckily,Iamnowin

circumstancestogivemylittleclassicalentertainmentsevery

day.Iamdelightedatit,mydearNunez,repliedI,andonce

morewishyoujoyonthesuccessofyourlasttragedy:thegreat

Lope,byhiseighthundreddramaticpieces,nevermadeaquarter

ofthemoneywhichyouhavegotbythedamnationofyour“Count

deSaldagna.”

BOOKTHETWELFTH.

CHI.—GilBlassenttoToledobytheminister.Thepurposeof

hisjourneyanditssuccess.

Fornearlyamonthhisexcellencyhadbeensayingtomeevery

day:Santillane,thetimeisapproaching,whenIshallcallyour

choicestpowersofaddressintoaction;butthetimethatwas

comingnevercame.Itisalonglane,however,wherethereisno

turning;andhisexcellencyatlengthspoketomenearlyas

follows:Theysaythatthereis,inthecompanyofcomediansat

Toledo,ayoungactressofmuchnoteforherpersonaland

professionalfascinations;itisaffirmedthatshedancesand

singslikeallthemusesandgracesputtogether,andthatthe

wholetheatreringswithapplauseatherperformance:tothese

perfectionsisaddedmatchlessandirresistiblebeauty.Sucha

starshouldonlyshinewithinthecircleofacourt.Thekinghas

atasteforthestage,formusic,andfordancing:normusthebe

debarredfromthepleasureofseeingandhearingsuchaprodigy.

IhavedeterminedonsendingyoutoToledo,thatyoumayjudge

foryourselfwhethershereallyissoextraordinaryanactress:

onyourfeelingofhermeritmymeasuresshallbetaken;forI

haveunlimitedconfidenceinyourdiscernment.

Iundertooktobringhislordshipagoodaccountofthis

business,andmademyarrangementsforsettingoutwithone

servant,butnotintheminister’slivery,bywayofconducting

mattersmorewarily;andthatprecautionrelishedwellwithhis

excellency.OnmyarrivalatToledo,Ihadscarcelyalightedat

theinn,whenthelandlord,takingmeforsomecountrygentleman,

said:Pleaseyourhonour,youareprobablycometobepresentat

theaugustceremonyofanAutodaF�to-morrow.Iansweredinthe

affirmative,themorecompletelytomisleadhim,andkeepmyown

counsel.Youwillsee,repliedhe,oneoftheprettiest

processionsyoueversawinyourlife:therearesaidtobemore

thanahundredprisoners,andtenofthemaretoberoasted.

Ingoodtruth,nextmorning,beforesunrise,Iheardallthe

bellsinthetownpealmerrily;andthedesignoftheirbob-majorswastoacquaintthepeoplethatthepastimewasaboutto

begin.Curioustoseewhatsortofarecreationitwas,Idressed

inahurry,andpostedtothesceneofaction.Allaboutthat

quarter,andalongthestreetswheretheprocessionwastopass,

werescaffolds,ononeofwhichIpurchasedastanding.The

Dominicanswalkedfirst,precededbythebannerofthe

Inquisition.TheseChristianfatherswereimmediatelyfollowedby

thehaplessvictimsoftheholyoffice,selectedforthisday’s

burnt-offering.Thesedevotedwretcheswalkedonebyonewith

theirheadandfeetbare,eachofthemwithataperinhishand,

andafiery,notbaptismalgodfatherbyhisside.Somehadlarge

yellowscapularies,workedwithcrossesofStAndrew,inred;

othersworesugar-loafcapsofpaper,illustratedwithflames,

anddiabolicalfiguresofallsortsbywayofemblem.

AsIlookednarrowlyattheseobjectsofreligiousgaze,witha

compassioninmyheartwhichmighthavebeenconstruedcriminal,

haditrunoverfrommyeyes,IfanciedthatthereverendFather

HilaryandhiscompanionbrotherAmbrosewereamongthosewho

figuredinthesugar-loafcaps.Theypassedtoonearformetobe

deceived.WhatdoIsee?thoughtIinwardly:heaven,weariedout

withthewickedlivesofthesetwoscoundrels,hasgiventhemup

tothejusticeoftheInquisition!Mywholeframetrembledatthe

thought,andmyspiritswerescarcelyequaltosupportmefrom

fainting.Myconnectionwiththeseknaves,theadventureat

Xelva,allourpranksinpartnershiprusheduponmymemory,andI

didnotknowhowsufficientlytothankGodforhavingpreserved

mefromStAndrew’scrossesandthepainteddevilsonthepaper

caps.

Whentheceremonywasover,Ireturnedtotheinn,withmyheart

sickeningatthedreadfulsight;butpainfulimpressionssoon

wearaway,andIthoughtonlyofmycommissionanditsdue

accomplishment.Iwaitedwithimpatienceforplay-time,asthe

momentandsceneofmycommencingoperations.Ontheopeningof

thedoorsIrepairedtothetheatre,andtookmyseatnexttoa

knightofAlcantara.Wesoongotintochat.Sir,saidI,the

playersherehavebeenrepresentedtomeinveryfavourable

terms:mayIgivecredittogeneralreport?Thecompanyisnot

contemptible,repliedtheknight:theyhavesomefirst-rate

performers;amongtherest,thepeerlessLucretia,anactressof

fourteen,whowillastonishyou:andsheplaysoneofherbest

partsto-night.

Onthedrawingupofthecurtain,twoactressescameon,with

everyadvantageofdressandstageeffect:butneitherofthem

couldpossiblybetheobjectofmysearch.AtlengthLucretia

madeherappearanceatthebackscene,andwalkedforwardsamidst

athunderofapplause.Ah!thisisshe,indeed!thoughtI!anda

delicatespecimenofloveliness,asIamasinner!Inhervery

firstspeechsheprovedherselfachildofnature,withenergy

andconceptionfaraboveheryears;andtheapprobationofa

provincialaudiencewasconfirmedbymymetropolitanjudgment.

TheknightwashappytofindIlikedher,andassuredmethatif

Ihadheardhersing,myearsmighthaverejoicedtothesorrow

ofmyheart.Herdancing,too,herepresentedasnotless

formidabletothefreewilloflordlyman.Iinquiredwhatyouth,

blessedastheimmortalgods,hadtheexquisitehappinessof

bringinghimselftobeggaryforsosweetagirl.Sheisunderno

avowedprotection,saidhe;andscandalhasnotcoupledhername

withprivatelicence;butLucretiamusttakecareofherself,for

sheisunderthewingofherauntEstella;andthereisnotan

actressinthecompanysowarmlyfledgedforhatchingthetender

passionsintolife.

AtthenameofEstella,Iinquiredwithsomeeagernesswhoshe

was.Oneofourbestperformers,saidmyinformant.Shedoesnot

playto-night,toourgreatloss,forhercastisthatof

abigails,andshehumoursthemtoperfection.Alittletoobroad,

perhaps,butthatisafaultontherightside.Fromthefeatures

ofthedescription,therecouldbenodoubtbutthismustbe

Laura;thatladysonotoriousinthesememoirs,whomIleftat

Grenada.

Tomakeassurancedoublysure,Iwentbehindthescenesafterthe

play.Thereshewas,inthegreen-room,flirtingwithsomemenof

fashion,whoprobablyenduredtheauntforthesakeoftheniece.

Icameuptopaymydevotions;butwhim,orperhapsrevengefor

mycuttingandrunningfromGrenada,determinedhertoputonthe

stranger,andreceivemycomplimentswithsodiscouraginga

coldness,astothrowmeintosomelittleconfusion.Insteadof

laughingitoff,Iwasfoolenoughtobeangry,andwithdrewina

cholericdeterminationtoreturnnextday.Laurashallsmartfor

this!saidI;hernieceshallnotappearatcourt;Iwilltell

theministerthatshedanceslikeashebear,hasformedher

bravurabetweenthescreamofapea-henandthecackleofa

goose,actslikeapuppet,andcomprehendslikeanidiot.

Suchwasmyschemeofrevenge,butitprovedabortive.JustasI

wasgoingoutoftown,afootboybroughtmethefollowingnote:

“Forgetandforgive,andfollowthebearer.”Iobeyed,andfound

Lauraatherdressing-tableinveryelegantapartmentsnearthe

theatre.

Sherosetowelcomeme,saying:SignorGilBlas,youhaveevery

reasontobeoffendedatyourreceptionbehindthescenes,which

wasoutofcharacterbetweensucholdfriends,butIreallywas

mostabominablydisconcerted.Justasyoucameup,oneofour

gentlemenhadbroughtmesomescandalousstoriesaboutmyniece,

whosehonourhasalwaysbeendearertomethanmyown.Oncoming

tomyself,Iimmediatelysentmyservanttofindyouout,with

theintentionofmakingyouamendsto-day.Youhavedoneso

already,mydearLaura,saidI,letusthereforetalkoverold

times.YoumayrememberthatIleftyouinaveryticklish

predicament,whenconscienceandthefearofpunishmentdroveme

soprecipitatelyfromGrenada.Howdidyougetoffwithyour

Portugueselover?Easilyenough,answeredLaura:donotyouknow

thatinthosecasesmenaremerefools,andacquituswomen

withoutevencallingforourdefence?

IfacedtheMarquisofMarialvaout,thatyouweremyvery

brother,anddrewuponmyimpudenceforthesupportofmycredit.

Doyounotsee,saidItomyPortuguesedupe,thatthisisall

thecontrivanceofjealousyandrage?Myrival,Narcissa,

infuriatedatmypossessionofaheartwhichshehadvainly

attemptedtogain,hasbribedthecandle-snuffertoassertthat

hehasseenmeasArsenia’swaiting-womanatMadrid.Itisan

abominablefalsehood;thewidowofDonAntonioCoellohasalways

beentoohighinhernotions,tobethehanger-onofatheatrical

mistress.Besides,whatcompletelydisprovesthewhole

allegation,ismybrother’sprecipitateretreat:ifhewerehere,

itwouldbeasubjectofevidence;butNarcissamusthavedevised

somestratagemtogethimoutoftheway.

Thesereasons,continuedLaura,werenotthemostconvincingin

theworld,buttheydidverywellforthemarquis;andthatgood,

easynoblemancontinuedhisconfidencetillhisreturnto

Portugal.Thishappenedsoonafteryourdeparture;andZapata’s

wifehadthepleasureofseeingmelosewhatshecouldnotwin.

Afterthis,IstayedsomeyearslongeratGrenada,tillthe

companywasbrokenupinconsequenceofsomesquabbles,which

willtakeplaceinmimicaswellasinreallife:somewentto

Seville,otherstoCordova;andIcametoToledo,whereIhave

beenforthesetenyearswithmynieceLucretia,whose

performanceyoumusthaveseenlastnight

Thiswastoomuchtobetakengravely.LaurainquiredwhyI

laughed.Canthatbeaquestion?saidI.Youhaveneitherbrother

norsister,oneorotherofwhichisanecessaryingredientinan

aunt.Besides,whenIcalculateinmymindthelapseoftime

sinceourlastseparation,andcomparethatperiodwiththeage

ofyourniece,itismorethanpossiblethatyourrelationship

maybeinanearerdegreeofkin.

Iunderstandyou,repliedDonAntonio’swidow,withsomething

likeamoraltingeofredinhercheek;youareanaccurate

chronologist!Thereisnogarblingfactsindefianceofyour

memory.Well,then!LucretiaismydaughterbytheMarquisof

Marialva:itwasextremelywrong,butIcannotconcealitfrom

you.Theconfessionmustindeedbeashocktoyourmodesty,said

I,aftertellingmeyourselfwhatpranksyouplayedwiththe

hospitalstewardatZamora.Imusttellyoumoreoverthat

Lucretiaisanarticleofsosuperioraqualityastorenderyou

apublicbenefactorbyhavingthrownherintothemarket.Itwere

tobewishedthatthestolenembracesofallyourfraternity

mightbeblessedwithfruitfulness,iftheycouldsecureto

themselvesapatentforbreedingafteryoursample.

Shouldanysarcasticreader,comparingthispassagewithsome

circumstancesrelatedwhileIwasthemarquis’ssecretary,

suspectmeofbeingentitledtodisputethehonoursofpaternity

withthatnobleman,Iblushtosay,thatmyclaimsareentirely

outofthequestion.

IlaidopenmyprincipaladventurestoLaurainmyturn,aswell

asthepresentstateofmyaffairs.Shelistenedwithinterest,

andsaid:FriendSantillane,youseemtoplayaprincipalparton

thestageoftheworld,andIcongratulateyoumostheartily.

ShouldLucretiabeengagedatMadrid,Iflattermyselfshewill

findapowerfulprotectorinSignordeSantillane.Doubtitnot,

answeredI:yourdaughtermayhaveherengagementwheneveryou

please;Icanpromiseyouthat,withoutpresumingtoomuchonmy

interest.Itakeyouatyourword,repliedLaura,andwouldset

outto-morrow,wereInotunderarticlestothiscompany.An

orderfromcourtwillcuttheknotofanyarticles,rejoinedI;

andthatItakeuponmyself:youshallhaveitwithinaweek.It

isanactofchivalrytorescueLucretiafromToledo:sucha

prettylittleactressbelongstotheroyalcourt,asparcelof

themanor.

LucretiacameintotheroomjustasIwastalkingofher.The

goddessHebeherselfneverlookedbetterinherbestdays:itwas

natureinthebud,exhalingthesweetsofherearliestbloom,but

promisingamoreluxuriantwasteoftreasure.Shewasjustup;

andhernaturalbeauty,withouttheaidofart,communicatedthe

mostrapturoussensations.Come,niece;saidhermother,thank

thegentlemanforallhiskindnesstous:heisanoldfriendof

mine,whorankshighatcourt,andundertakestogetusbothan

engagementatthetheatreroyal.Thelittlegirlseemedtobe

muchpleased,andmademealowcurtsey,sayingwithan

enchantingsmile:Imosthumblythankyouforyourobliging

intention;but,bytakingmefromapartialaudience,areyou

certainthatIshallnotbelookeddownuponbythatofMadrid?I

maybutlosebytheexchange.Irememberhearingmyauntsay,

thatshehasseenplayersmostfavourablyreceivedinonetown,

andhissedoffthestageinanother;thisabsolutelyfrightens

me;bewarethereforeofexposingmetothederisionofthecourt,

andyourselftoitsreproaches.LovelyLucretia,answeredI,we

haveneitherofusanythingtofear;Iamratherapprehensive

lest,bythehavocyouwillmakeamonghearts,youshouldexcite

rivalshipsandkindlediscordamongthecourtiers.Myniece’s

fears,saidLaura,arebetterfoundedthanyours;butIhopethey

willbothprovevain:howeverfeeblemaybeLucretia’scharmsof

person,hertalentsasanactressareatleastabovemediocrity.

Wecontinuedtheconversationforsometime:andIcouldgather,

fromLucretia’sshareinit,thatshewasagirlofsuperior

talents.Ontakingleave,Iassuredthemthattheyshould

immediatelyreceiveasummonstoMadrid.

CH.II.—Santillanemakeshisreporttotheminister,who

commissionshimtosendforLucretia.Thefirstappearanceof

thatactressbeforethecourt.

ONmyreturn,Ifoundmylorddukeimpatienttobeinformedofmy

success.Haveyouseenher?saidhe:issheworthtransplanting?

Mylord,answeredI,fame,whichgenerallyrunsbeyondall

discretioninitsreportofbeauty,haserredonthesideof

parsimonyinitsestimateofthematchlessyoungLucretia;sheis

allthatyouthfulpoetsfancywhentheyfeign,forpersonal

attractions,andallthatveteranmanagersseekwhentheysign

articles,inscenicqualifications.

Isitpossible?exclaimedtheministerwithasatisfactionwhich

involuntarilypeepedoutathiseyes,andmademethinkhehad

someselfishhankeringsafterthearticleofmymarketingat

Toledo;isitpossible?andisshereallysocharmingacreature?

Whenyouseeher,repliedI,youwillownthatanyverbalpicture

ofherperfectionsmustbealtogetherinadequatetotheirdue

description.Hisexcellencythenrequiringaminuteaccountofmy

journey,Igavehimalltheparticulars,notexceptingLaura’s

story,andLucretia’sparentage.Hislordshipwasdelightedat

thelattercircumstance,andenjoinedme,withacordial

complimentonmyskillinsuchdelicatenegotiations,tofinish

asauspiciouslyasIhadbegunmyundertaking.

IwenttolookforCarnero,andtoldhimthatitwashis

excellency’spleasureheshouldmakeoutanorderforthe

admissionofEstellaandLucretia,actressesfromtheToledo

theatre,intohismajesty’scompany.Sayyouso,Signorde

Santillane?answeredCarnerowithasarcasticleer;youshallnot

bekeptlonginsuspense,sinceyoutakesomarkedaninterestin

thefortunesofthesetwoladies.Heexpeditedtheorderinmy

presence,andwithinaweekthemotheranddaughtersentme

noticeoftheirarrival.Iimmediatelyhastenedtotheirlodging

nearthetheatre,andafteraninterchangeofthanksontheir

part,andassurancesofcontinuedsupportonmine,leftthemwith

mybestwishesforabnlliantcareerofsuccess.

Theirnameswereannouncedinthebillsastwonewactresses,

engagedbythespecialmandateofthecourt.Theymadetheir

firstappearanceinaplay,whichtheyhadbeenaccustomedto

performinatToledowithloudandunanimousapplause.

Noveltyistheverylifeandsouloftheatricalentertainments.

Thehousewasuncommonlycrowded,andIofcoursewasamongthe

audience.Iwasratherfrightenedbeforethecurtaindrewup.

PrejudicedasIwasinfavourofthecandidates,myalarmwasin

proportiontomyinterest.Butwhenoncetheywerefairlyonthe

boards,thedinofwelcomequietedallmyapprehensions.Estella

wasconsideredasafirst-rateactressincomicparts,and

LucretiaasafemaleRosciusinheroinesandlove-sickdamsels.

Butthelovewhichshefeignedherself,shereallykindledinthe

heartsofthespectators.Someadmiredthebeautyofhereyes,

othersweretouchedwiththeplaintivesweetnessofhervoice,

andall,bowingtothetriumphofyouth,vivacity,andelegance,

wentawayinraptureswithherperson.

Mylordduke,whotookanuncommoninterestinthistheatrical

event,wasattheplaythatevening.Isawhimleavehisboxat

theendofthepiece,withevidentapprobationofournew

performers.Curioustoknowwhethertheyequalledhis

expectations,Ifollowedhimhome,andintohiscloset,saying:

Well,mylord,isyourexcellencywellpleasedwithlittle

Marialva?Myexcellency,answeredhewithaslysmile,mustbe

verydifficulttobepleased,nottoconfirmthepublicvoice:

yes,indeed,mygoodfriend,IamenrapturedwithyourLucretia,

andfirmlybelievethatthekingwillnotseeherwithout

emotion.

CH.III.—Lucretia’spopularity;herappearancebeforethe

king;hispassion,anditsconsequences.

GREATwasthenoiseaboutthecourtonthisdoubleacquisitionto

thetheatre;itbecamethetopicofconversationnextdayatthe

king’slevee.TheyoungLucretiawasmostinthemouthsofthe

nobility,whodescribedhersofeelingly,thathismajestycould

notbutimbibetheimpression,thoughhewastoopoliticto

expresshisinteresteitherinwordsorbylooks.

Tomakeamendsforthatrestraint,hequestionedtheministeras

soonashewasalonewithhim,whostatedthesuccessofayoung

actressfromToledoontheeveningbefore.Hername,addedhe,is

Lucretia;anditisreallyapitythatladiesofherprofession

shouldeverhavebeenchristenedbyanylesschasteappellative.

SheisanacquaintanceofSantillane,whospokesohighlyofher,

thatIthoughtitrighttoengageherforyourmajesty’scompany.

Thekingsmiledatthementionofmyname,recollecting,perhaps,

throughwhatchannelhebecameacquaintedwithCatalina,and

forebodingalikeassistanceonthepresentoccasion.Count,said

hetotheminister,ImeantoseethisLucretiaactto-morrow,

andwillthankyoutoletherknowit.

Iwasofcoursesentwiththisintelligencetothetwoactresses.

Greatnews!saidItoLaura,whomIsawfirst:youwillhavethe

sovereignoftheSpanishmonarchyamongyouraudienceto-morrow,

astheministerhasdesiredmetoinformyou.Icannotdoubtbut

youwillbothofyoudoyourbesttoproveyourselvesworthyofa

royalcommand;butIwouldadviseyoutochooseapiecewith

musicanddancing,thatallLucretia’saccomplishmentsmaybe

displayedatoneview.Wewilltakeyourcounsel,answeredLaura,

anditshallnotbeourfaultsifhismajestyisdisappointed.

Thatcanscarcelyhappen,saidI,seeingLucretiacomeintothe

roominanundress,whichshewedherpersontomoreadvantage

thanallthewardrobeofthetheatre:hewillbethemore

delightedwithyourlovelyniece,becausedancingandmusicare

hisprincipalpleasures:hemayevenbetemptedtothrowherthe

handkerchief.Idonotatallwish,repliedLaura,thatheshould

bethatwayinclined;all-powerfulmonarchasheis,hemightnot

findtheaccomplishmentofhisdesiressoeasy.Lucretia,though

broughtupbehindthescenes,isnotwithoutvirtuousprinciples;

whateverpleasureshemaytakeinapplauseandprofessional

reputation,shehadmuchratherpreservethecharacterofagood

girl,thanestablishthatofagreatactress.

Aunt,saidlittleMarialva,joiningintheconversation,why

conjureupmonstersonlytolaythemagain?Ishallneverbeata

losstorepeltheking’sadvances,becausehistasteistoo

refinedtostoopsolow.But,charmingLucretia,saidI,ifsuch

athingshouldhappen,wouldyoubecruelenoughtolethim

languishlikeacommonlover?Whynot?answeredshe.Setting

virtueaside,myvanitywouldhemoreflatteredbymyown

resistancethanbythetributeofhisaffection.Iwasnota

littlesurprisedtohearapupilofLaura’sschooltalkso

properly,andtofindthatwithsofreeaneducationsheimbibed

suchunusualprinciplesofmorality.

Theking,impatienttoseeLucretia,wenttotheplaynext

evening.Thepiecewasgotupwithmusicanddancing,toshewour

youngactressofftothebestadvantage.Myeyeswerefixedon

hismajesty;buthecompletelyeludedmypenetrationbyan

obstinategravity.Onthefollowingday,theministersaid:

Santillane,Ihavejustbeenwiththeking,whohasbeentalking

aboutLucretia,withsomuchanimation,thatIdoubtnotbuthe

issmitten:and,asItoldhimthatyouhadsentforherfrom

Toledo,heexpressedawishtoconferwithyouinprivateonthe

subject:ordersaregivenforyouradmittance;run,andbringme

backanaccountofwhatpasses.

Iflewtothepalace,andfoundthekingalone.Hewaswalkingup

anddown,inmuchapparentperplexity.Heputseveralquestions

tomeaboutLucretia,mademerelateherhistory,andthenasked

whetherthelittlejadehadnotbeentamperingwithchastity

already.Iboldlyassuredhimtothecontrary,thoughsuch

pledgesweresomewhathazardousingeneral;butminewastaken,

andgavetheprincemuchpleasure.Ifso,repliedhe,Iselect

youformyagentwithLucretia;letherbecomeacquaintedwith

hertriumphfromyourlips.Hethenputaboxofjewelsintomy

hand,worthfiftythousandcrowns,withamessagebeggingher

acceptanceofthem,andpromisingmoresubstantialproofsofhis

affection.

BeforeIwentonmyerrand,Ireportedprogresstomylordduke.

Thatminister,Ithought,wouldbemorevexedthanrejoicedat

it;supposingthathehadhisownviewsofgallantrytowards

Lucretia,andwouldlearnwithregrettherivalshipofhis

master;butIwasmistaken.Farfromappearingchagrined,hisjoy

wassoexcessive,thatitwouldoozeoutathistongue,inwords

whichwerenotquitelostonthehearer.“Indeed,friendPhilip!

thenIhaveyouinmyclutches:whileyourpleasuresleadyou,

yourbusinessmustbelefttome!”Thissidespeechexplainedto

metheplot;anamorousprince,andalong-headedminister!My

ordersweretoexecutemycommissionasspeedilyaspossible,

withtheassurancethatthefirstlordinthelandwouldbeproud

tostandinmyshoes.Besides,therewasnopimpofrank,asin

theformercase,toseizetheprofitandleavetheinfamywith

me;thehonourandemolumentwerenowexclusivelymyown.

Thusdidhisexcellencyrelishtheingredientsofpandarismtomy

palate;andItastedthemwiththegreediness,butnotwithout

thequalmsofanepicure;forsincemyimprisonmentIhadbecome

regenerate,anddidnottakeprideindirtywork,becausemy

employerwashedhishandsinperfumedwater.Butthough

consciencewasawake,interestwasnotasleep.Iwasnolongera

villainforthefunofit;butmycompliancewouldconfirmmy

footingwiththeminister,andhimitwasmyduty,atallevents,

toplease.

MyfirstappealwastoLaurainprivate.Iopenedthenegotiation

delicately,andpresentedmycredentialsintheformofthe

jewel-box.Theladywasthrownoffherguardbythedisplay.

SignorGilBlas,criedshe,youareoneofmyoldestfriends,and

Imustnotplaythehypocrite:strait-lacedmoralsare

inconsistentwiththedisciplineofmysect.Nothingcanbemore

delightfultomethanaconquest,whichthrowssuchagameinto

ourhands.But,betweenourselves,IamafraidLucretiaisnotso

enlightenedasweare;thoughadaughterofThalia,shehastaken

thebetter-behavedgoddessesforherschool-mistresses,andgiven

arebufftotwoyoungnoblemenofamiablemannersandlarge

fortunes.Theywerenotkings,youwillsay,andtrulywemay

hopethatLucretia’svirtuewillbetooundisciplinedtostanda

royalsiege;butyoumustremembertheeventishazardous,andI

shallnotinterposemyauthoritytocompelher.If,farfrom

thinkingherselfhonouredbythefleetingpassionoftheking,

sheshouldrevoltfromhisadvanceswithdisdain,letnotour

illustrioussovereignbeoffendedatherreserve.Butdoyoucome

backhitherto-morrow,andcarrybackeitherthejewels,ora

returnofaffection.

IhadnodoubtbutLaurawouldtutorLucretiaintheschoolof

time-servingmorality,anddependedmuchonherinstruction.It

wasthereforenosmallsurprisetofindthatLauraworkedasmuch

againstwindandtidetolaunchherdaughterintothetrade-wind

ofevil,asothermaternalpilotstosetthesailsoftheirsin

thecontrarymonsoonofgood;andwhatisstillmore

unaccountable,Lucretia,aftertastingofroyaldelights,wasso

completelysurfeitedwiththebanquetastothrowherselfatonce

intothearmsofthechurch,wheresheprofessed,fellsick,and

diedofgrief.Laura,disconsolateforthelossofherdaughter,

andthepartsheherselfhadactedinthetragedy,retiredintoa

conventoffemalepenitents,anddidpenancefortheunhallowed

pleasuresofherformerlife.Thekingwasaffectedbyhissudden

loss,butsoonfoundcomfortinsomeotherpursuit.Thepremier

talkedlittleonthesubject,butthoughtsomuchthemore,as

thereaderwilleasilybelieve.

CH.IV.—Santillaneinanewoffice.

MYfeelingswereallalivetoLucretia’sillfate,andmyown

infamyinhavingcontributedtoit.Theroyalwantsofthelover

werenoexcuseformytakingthepostofcheapener,andI

determinedtoresignthestaffofofficeinthatdepartment,

entreatingtheministertoemploymeinsomeother.Hewas

charmedwithmynicesenseofhonour,andpromisedtocomplywith

myscruples,layingopenhisinmostheartinthefollowing

speech.

SomeyearsbeforeIwasinoffice,chancethrewmeacrossalady

ofsuchshapeandbeautyasinducedmetotraceherhome.I

learnedthatshewasaGenoese,bynameDonnaMargaritaSpinola,

supportingherselfatMadridontheincomearisingfromher

beauty.ItwasreportedthatDonFranciscodeVal�asar,an

officeraboutthecourt,arichman,anoldman,andamarried

man,laidouthismoneyveryfreelyonthishazardous

speculation.Theserumoursoughttohavedeterredme;butthey

onlywhettedmydesirestosharewithVal�asar.Togainmyend,I

hadrecoursetoafemalebrokeroftenderness,whoadjustedthe

termsofaprivateinterviewwiththeGenoese;andtheprice

currentbeingsettled,thetrafficwasfrequentlyrepeated;it

wasanopenmarketformyrivalandme,orpossiblyformany

otherbidders.

Letthatbeasitmay,achoiceboywasinthefulnessoftime

producedtotheclub,andthemothercomplimentedeverymember

individuallyinprivatewiththecredit:butwewereeachofus

toomodesttoacknowledgeabantlingwhichhadsoprobablea

claimuponabetterfather;sothattheGenoesewascompelledto

maintainhimontheprofitsofherprofession:thisshedidfor

eighteenyears,anddyingattheendofthatperiod,haslefther

sonwithoutafarthing,andwhatisworse,withoutanideaoran

accomplishment.

Such,continuedhislordship,istheconfidenceImeanttorepose

inyou,andIshallnowlayopenthegreatdesignIhaveformed,

todrawthisunfortunatechildfromhisobscurity,reversethe

colourofhisfate,raisehimtothehighesthonours,and

acknowledgehimasmyson.

Atsoextravagantaprojectitwasimpossiblenottobeopen-mouthed.What,sir,exclaimedI,canyourexcellencyhaveadopted

sostrangearesolution!Excusemyfreedom;butmyzealcannot

restrainitself.Youwillbeofmymind,repliedhewith

eagerness,whenIshallhaveexplainedtoyoumymotives.Ihave

nomindthatmyestatesshoulddescendinthecollateralline.

Youwilltellme,thatIamnotsooldastodespairofhaving

childrenbyMadamed’Olivarez.Buteveryoneisbestjudgeofhis

owncondition:knowthereforethatthereisnotareceiptinthe

wholeextentofchemistrywhichIhavenottried,butwithout

effect,toappearonceagaininthecharacterofafather.

Wherefore,sincefortune,steppingintocoverthedefectsof

nature,presentsmewithachildwhoseparentafterallImay

actuallybe,heisminebyadoption;thatisasettledpoint.

WhenIfoundtheministerdetermined,Inolongerarguedagainst

hisresolution,asknowinghimtobeamanwhowouldratherdoa

foolishactofhisown,thanadoptawisesuggestionofanother.

Itonlyremainsnow,addedhe,toeducateDonHenryPhilipde

Guzman;forbythatnameIintendhimtobeknownintheworld,

tillthetimearriveswhenhemayaspiretohigherdignities.

You,mydearSantillane,Ihavechosentosuperintendhis

conduct:Ihavefullconfidenceinyourtalentsandfriendship,

toregulatehishousehold,directhisstudies,andmakehiman

accomplishedgentleman.Iwouldwillinglyhavedeclinedthe

office,asneverhavingexercisedthecraftofapedagogue,which

requiredmuchmoregeniusandsoliditythanmine;butheshutmy

mouthbysayingitwashisabsolutedeterminationthatIshould

betutortothisadoptedson,whomhedesignedforthefirst

officesofthemonarchy.Asabribeformycompliance,his

lordshipincreasedmylittleincomewithapensionofathousand

crownsonthecommanderyofMambra.

CH.V.—ThesonoftheGenoeseisacknowledgedbyalegal

instrument,andnamedDonHenryPhilipdeGuzman.Santillane

establisheshishousehold,andarrangesthecourseofhis

studies.

THEactofadoptionwassoonlegalizedwiththeking’sconsent

andgoodpleasure.DonHenryPhilipdeGuzman,asthisdescendant

fromacommitteeoffatherswasnamed,becameacknowledged

successortotheearldomofOlivarezandtheduchyofSanLucar.

Theminister,togivetheactallpossiblepublicity,

communicateditthroughCarnerototheambassadorsandgrandees

ofSpain,whoweresomewhatstartled.ThejokersofMadridwere

notinsensibletotheridicule,andthesatiricalpoetsmade

theirharvestofsofineasubjectfortheirpen.

Iaskedmylorddukewheremypupilwas.Hereintown,answered

he,withanauntfromwhomIshallremovehimassoonasyouhave

gotahouseready.ThisIdidimmediately,andfurnishedit

magnificently.Whenmyestablishmentwascompleteinservantsand

officers,hisexcellencysentforthisequivocalproduction,this

spuriousoffsetfromtherenownedstockoftheGuzmans.Thelad

wastallandpersonable.DonHenry,saidhislordship,pointing

tome,thisgentlemanistobeyourtutorandintroduceyouinto

theworld;hehasmyentireconfidence,andanunlimited

authorityoveryou.Aftermuchgoodadvice,andmanycompliments

tome,theministerretired,andItookDonHenryhome.

Assoonaswegotthither,Iintroducedhimtohishousehold,and

explainedthenatureofeachindividual’semployment.Hedidnot

seematalldisconcertedatthechangeofcircumstances,but

receivedtheobeisancesofhisdependantsasifhehadbeena

lordbynature,andnotbychance.Hewasnotwithoutmother-wit,

butignorantinadeplorabledegree;hecouldscarcelyreadand

write.IgavehimmastersfortheLatingrammar,geography,

history,andfencing.Adancing-masterofcoursewasnot

forgotten;butinanaffairofthefirstconsequence,selection

wasdifficult,forthereweremoreeminentprofessorsofthatart

inMadridthanofallthelanguagesandsciencesputtogether.

WhileIwasponderingonthisdifficulty,amangaudilydressed

cameintothecourt-yardandinquiredforme.Iwentdown,

supposinghimtobeatleastaknightofsomemilitaryor

privilegedorder.SignordeSantillane,saidhe,withaprofusion

ofbowswhichanticipatedhislineinlife,Iamcometooffer

youmyservicesasDonHenry’sgovernor.MynameisMartin

Ligero,andIhave,thankheaven,somereputationintheworld.I

havenooccasiontocanvassforscholars;thatisallverywell

forpettydancing-masters!MycustomistowaittillIamsent

for;butbeingasortofappendagetothehouseofGuzman,and

havingtaughtitsvariousbranchesforalongperiod,Ithought

itapointofrespecttowaitonyoufirst.Iperceive,answered

I,thatyouarejustthemanwewantWhatareyourterms?Four

doublepistolesamonth,answeredhe,andIgivebuttwolessons

aweek.Fourdoubloonsamonth!criedI,thatisanexorbitant

price.Exorbitant!rejoinedhewithastonishment;why,itisnot

morethaneighttimesasmuchasyouwouldgivetoamathematical

masteroraGreekprofessor.

Therewasnoresistingsoludicrousacomparisonofmerit;I

laughedoutright,andaskedSignorLigerowhetherhereally

thoughthistalentsworthmorethanthoseofthefirst

proficientsinlearningandscience.Mostassuredly,saidhe;at

least,ifyoumeasureourpretensionsbytheirrespective

utility.Whatsortofmachinesmaythosebewhicharefashioned

undertheirhands?Jointlesspuppets,unlickedcubs,open-mouthed

andimpenetrableshell-fish;butourlessonssuppleandrender

plianttheintractablestiffnessoftheircomponentparts,and

bringtheminsensiblyintoshape:inshort,wecommunicateto

themagracefulmotion,apoliteaddress,thecarriageofgood

company,andtheoutwardmarksofelevatedrank.

Icouldnotbutgivewaytosuchcogentargumentsinfavourof

thedancing-master’soccupation,andengagedhimaboutDun

Henry’spersonwithouthagglingastoterms,sincethose

specifiedwereonlyattherateestablishedbytheleading

professorsoftheart.

CH.VI.—Scipio’sreturnfromNewSpain.GilBlasplaceshim

aboutDonHenry’sperson.Thatyoungnobleman’scourseofstudy.

Hiscareerofhonour,andhisfather’smatrimonialspeculationon

hisbehalf.ApatentofnobilityconferredonGilBlasagainst

hiswill.

IHADnotyethalfarrangedDonHenry’shousehold,whenScipio

returnedfromMexico.Hebroughtwithhimthreethousandducats

incash,andmerchandisetodoubletheamount.Iwishyoujoy,

saidI;thefoundationofyourfortuneislaid;andifyouprefer

asnugberthatMadridtotheriskofgoingback,youhaveonly

totellmeso.Thereisnoquestionaboutthat,saidthesonof

Coselina:agenteelsituationathomeisfarpreferabletoa

secondvoyage.

Afterrelatingthebirthandadventuresofthelittleadopted

Guzman,andmyownappointmentastutor,Iofferedhimthe

situationofupperservanttothisbabeofchance:Scipio,who

couldhavedevisednothingbetterforhimself,readilyaccepted

theoffice,andwithinthesmallspaceofthreeorfourdaysgot

thelengthofhisnewmaster’sfoot.

Ihadtakenitforgrantedthatthattheverb-grindersand

concord-manufacturerstowhomIhadgiventheplantofthis

Genoesebastardwouldlosestockandblock,undertheideathat

hewasofanintractableandprofitlessage;butmyforebodings

werecompletelyreversed.Henotonlycomprehended,buteasily

retainedthelessonsofhismasters,andtheywereverywell

satisfiedwithhim.Iwasinanenormoushurrytogreettheears

ofmylorddukewiththisintelligence,andhereceived,itwith

abundantjoy.Santillane,exclaimedhewithdelight,yougiveme

newlifebytheassuranceofDonHenry’scapacityand

application:itrunsinthebloodoftheGuzmans;andIamthe

moreconfirmedinhisbeingunquestionablymyown,becauseIam

justasfondofhimasifMadamed’Olivarezherselfhadlainin

ofthebratindueformunderthisveryroof.Thevoiceof

nature,youperceive,willmakeitselfheard.Ithoughtit

unnecessarytogivehislordshipanyopiniononthatsubject;but

withadelicatedeferencetohiscredulity,lefthimtoenjoyhis

fanciedpaternityinpeace,whetherwellorillfounded.

ThoughalltheGuzmansheldthisclodofnewlyturnedupnobility

inutterscorn,theywerepoliticenoughtosmoothoverthe

corrugationsoftheircontempt;nay,someofthemevenaffected

tolanguishforhisgoodopinion:theambassadorsandprincipal

nobilitythenatMadridwaitedonhim,withalltheceremony

appertainingtotherankofalegitimateson.Theminister,

intoxicatedwiththefumesofincenseofferedtohisidol,began

tobuildatempleworthyoftheworship.ThecrossofAlcantara

wasthefoundation,withacommanderyoftenthousandcrowns.The

nextstepwastoahighofficeintheroyalhousehold,andthe

completionofthewholewasmatrimony.Wishingtoconnecthim

withafamilyofthefirstrank,hepickedoutDonnaJohannade

Velasco,daughtertotheDukeofCastile,andhadinfluence

enoughtoaccomplishthealliance,thoughagainstthewillofthe

dukeandofallhiskindred.

Somedaysbeforethenuptialceremony,hislordshipputsome

papersintomyhand,saying:Here,GilBlas,isapatentof

nobilitywhichIhaveprocuredastherewardofyourservices.My

lord,answeredI,inmuchastonishment,yourexcellencyknows

verywellthatIamthesonofanusherandaduenna:itwouldbe

caricaturingthepeeragetoconferitonme;andbesides,ofall

theboonsinhismajesty’spowertobestow,itisthatwhichI

deserveanddesiretheleast.Yourbirth,repliedtheminister,

isaslightobjection.Youhavebeenemployedonaffairsofstate

undertheDukeofLerma’sadministrationandundermine:besides,

addedhewithasmile,haveyounotrenderedsomethingsto

Caesar,whichCaesarisbound,onthehonourofaprince,to

renderbackinanothershape?Todealcandidly,Santillane,you

willmakejustasgoodalordasthebestofthem;nay,morethan

that,yourhighofficeaboutmysonisincompatiblewithplebeian

rank,andthereforehaveIprocuredyoutobecreated.Sinceyour

excellencywillhaveitso,repliedI,thereisnomoretobe

said.So,sayingnomore,Iputmynew-blownhonoursinmy

pocket,andwalkedoff.

NowcanImakeanyJoanalady!saidItomyselfwhenIhadgot

intothestreet:butitwasnotthehandyworkofmyparentsthat

mademeagentleman.Imayaddafootofhonourtomyname

wheneverIplease;andifanyofmyacquaintanceshouldsnuffor

sniggerwhentheycallmeDon,Imaysuckmyteeth,leanuponmy

elbow,anddrawoutmycredentialsofheraldry.Butletussee

whattheycontain;andhowthecorporealparticles,whichhave

accruedduringmyartificialcontactwiththecourt,are

distinguishedbygenealogicalmetaphysicsfromthenativeclayof

myoriginalextraction.Theinstrumentranthusinsubstance:

Thatthekinginacknowledgmentofmyzealinmorethanone

instanceforhisserviceandthegoodofthestate,hadbeen

graciouslypleasedtoconferthismarkofdistinctiononme.I

maysafelysaythattherecollectionoftheactforwhichIwas

promotedeffectuallykeptdownmypride.Neitherdidthe

bashfulnessoflowbirtheverforsakeme;sothatnobilitytome

waslikeahairshirttoapenitent:Ideterminedthereforeto

lockuptheevidencesofmyshameinaprivatedrawer,insteadof

blazoningthemtodazzletheeyesofthefoolishandcorrupt.

CH.VII.—AnaccidentalmeetingbetweenGilBlasandFabricio.

Theirlastconversationtogether,andawordtothewisefrom

Nunez.

THEpoetoftheAsturias,asthereader,ifhethoughtofhim,

mayhaveremarked,wasverynegligentinhisintercoursewithme.

Itwasnottobeexpected,thatmyemploymentswouldleaveme

timetogoandlookafterhim.Ihadnotseenhimsincethe

criticaldiscussiontouchingtheIphigeniaofEuripides,when

chancethrewmeacrosshim,ashecameoutofaprinting-house.I

accostedhim,saying:So!so!MasterNunez,youhavegotamong

theprinters:thislooksasifwewerethreatenedwithsomenew

production.

Youmayindeedprepareyourselvesforsuchanevent,answeredhe:

Ihaveapamphletjustreadyforpublicationwhichislikelyto

makesomenoiseintheliteraryworld.Therecanbenoquestion

aboutitsmerit,repliedI:butIcannotconceivewhyyouwaste

yourtimeinwritingpamphlets:itshouldseemasifsuchsquibs

androcketswerescarcelyworththepowderexpendedintheir

manufacture.Itisverytrue,rejoinedFabricio:andIamwell

awarethatnonebutthemostvulgargazersarecaughtbysuch

holidayfireworks:however,thissingleonehasescapedme,and

Imustownthatitisachildofnecessity.Hunger,asyouknow,

willbringthewolfoutoftheforest.

What!exclaimedI,isittheauthorofthe“CountofSaldagna”

whoholdsthislanguage?Amanwithanannuityoftwothousand

crowns?Gently,myfriend,interruptedNunez:Iamnolongera

pensionedpoet.TheaffairsofthetreasurerDonBertrandareall

atsixesandsevens:hehasbeenatthegamingtable,andplayed

withthepublicmoney:anextenthasissued,andmyrent-charge

isgonepost-hastetothedevil.Thatisasadaffair,saidI:

butmaynotmatterscomeroundagaininthatquarter?Nochance

ofit,answeredhe:SignorGomezDelRibero,inplightas

destituteasthatofhispoorbard,issunkforever;norcanhe,

astheysay,byanypossiblecontrivancebesetafloatagain.

Inthatcase,mygoodfriend,repliedI,wemustlookoutfor

somepostwhichmaymakeyouamendsforthelossofyourannuity.

Iwilleaseyourconscienceonthatscore,saidhe:thoughyou

shouldoffermethewealthoftheIndiesasasalaryinoneof

youroffices,Iwouldrejecttheboon:clerkshipsarenoobject

toapartnerinthefirmoftheMuses;aliteraryberth,or

absolutestarvationforyourhumbleservant!Ifyoumusthaveit

plump,Iwasborntoliveanddieapoet,andthemanwhose

destinyishanging,willneverbedrowned.

Butdonotsuppose,continuedhe,thatwearealtogetherforlorn

anddestitute:besidesthatweaccommodatetherequisitesof

independencetoourfinances,wedonotlookfarbeyondournoses

incalculatingtheavengeofourfortunes.Itisinsinuatedthat

weoftendinewiththemostabstemiousordersofthereligious;

butoursanctityinthisparticularistoocredulouslyimputed.

Thereisnotoneofmybrotherwits,withoutexceptingthe

calculatorsofalmanacs,whohasnotaplatelaidforhimatsome

substantialtable:formyownpart,Ihavetherunoftwogood

houses.TothemasterofoneIhavededicatedaromance;andhe

isthefirstcommissioneroftaxeswhowaseverassociatedwith

theMuses:theotherisarichtradesmaninMadrid,whoselustis

togetwitsabouthim;heisnotniceinhischoice,andthis

townfurnishesabundancetothosewhovaluewitmorebyquantity

thanquality.

ThenInolongerfeelforyou,saidItothepoetofthe

Asturias,sinceyouaresatisfiedinyourcondition.Butbethat

asitmay,Iassureyouoncemore,thatyouhaveafriendinGil

Blas,howeveryoumayslighthim:ifyouwantmypurse,comeand

takeit:itwillnotfailyouatapinch;andyoumustnotstand

betweenmeandmysincerefriendship.

Bythatburstofsentiment,exclaimedNunez,Iknowandthankmy

friendSantillane:inreturn,letmegiveyouasalutarycaution.

Whilemylorddukeisinhismeridian,andyouareallinall

withhim,reap,bind,andgatherisyourharvest:whenthesun

sets,thegleanersaresenthome.IaskedFabriciowhetherhis

suspicionsweresurelyfounded;andhereturnedmethisanswer.

MyinformationcomesfromanoldknightofCalatrava,whopokes

hisnoseintosecretsofallsorts;hisauthoritypassescurrent

atMadrid,muchasthatofthePythiannewsmongersdidthrough

Greece;andthushisoraclewaspronouncedinmyhearing:Mylord

dukehasahostofenemiesinbattle-arrayagainsthim;he

reckonstoosecurelyuponhisinfluencewiththeking;forhis

majesty,asthereportgoes,beginstotakeinhostile

representationswithpatience.IthankedNunezforhisfriendly

warning,butwithoutmuchfaithinhisprediction:mymaster’s

authorityseemedrootedinthecourt,likethetempest-scoffing

firmnessofanoakinthenativesoiloftheforest.

Cu.VIII.—GilBlasfindsthatFabricio’shintwasnotwithout

foundation.Theking’sjourneytoSaragossa.

THEpoetoftheAsturiaswasnobadpolitician.Therewasacourt

plotagainsttheduke,withthequeenatthebottom;buttheir

plansweretoodeeplylaidtobubbleatthesurface.Duringthe

spaceofawholeyear,mysimplicitywasinsensibletothe

brewingofthetempest.

TherevoltoftheCatalans,withFranceattheirback,andthe

illsuccessofthewarfortheirsuppression,excitedthemurmurs

ofthepeople,andwhettedtheirtonguesagainstgovernment.A

councilwasheldintheroyalpresence,andtheMarquisdeGrana,

theemperor’sambassador,wasspeciallyrequestedtoassist.The

subjectindebatewaswhetherthekingshouldremaininCastile,

orgoandtakethecommandofhistroopsinArragon.Theminister

spokefirst,andgaveitashisopinionthathismajestyshould

notquittheseatofgovernmentAllthememberssupportedhis

arguments,withtheexceptionoftheMarquisdeGrana,whose

wholeheartwaswiththehouseofAustria,andthesentimentsof

hissoulonthetipofhistongue,afterthehomelyhonestyof

hisnation.Hearguedsoforciblyagainsttheminister,thatthe

kingembracedhisopinionfromconviction,thoughcontrarytothe

voteofcouncil,andfixedthedaywhenhewouldsetoutforthe

army.

Thiswasthefirsttimethateverthesovereignhaddifferedfrom

hisfavourite,andthelatterconsidereditasaninexpiable

affront.Justastheministerwaswithdrawingtohiscloset,

theretobiteuponthebridle,heespiedme,calledmein;and

toldmewithmuchdiscomposurewhathadpassedindebate:Yes,

Santillane,observedhe,theking,whoforthelasttwentyyears

hasspokenonlythroughmymouth,andseenwithmyeyes,isnow

tobewheedledoverbyGrana;andthatonthescoreofzealfor

thehouseofAustria,asifthatGermanhadamoreAustriansoul

inhisbodythanmyself.

Henceitiseasytoperceive,continuedtheminister,thatthere

isastrongpartyagainstme,withthequeenatthehead.Heaven

forbidit,saidI.Hasnotthequeenforupwardsoftwelveyears

beenaccustomedtoyourparamountauthority,andhaveyounot

taughtthekingtheknackofnotconsultingher?Thedesireof

makingacampaignmayforoncehaveenlistedhismajestyonthe

sideoftheMarquisdeGrana.Sayratherthattheking,arguedmy

lordduke,willbesurroundedbyhisprincipalofficerswhenin

camp;andthenthedisaffectedwillfindtheiropportunityfor

poisoninghimagainstmyadministration.Buttheyoverreach

themselves;forIshallcompletelyinsulatetheprincefromall

theirapproaches;andsohedid,inamannerwhich,forexample,

deservesnottobepassedover.

Thedayoftheking’sdeparturebeingarrived,themonarch,

leavingthequeenregent,proceededforSaragossabywayof

Aranjuez;adelightfulresidence,wherehewhiledawaythree

weeks.Cuen�awasthenextstage,wheretheministerdetainedhim

stilllongerbyasuccessionofamusements.Ahuntingpartywas

contrivedatMolinainArragon,andhencetherewasnochoiceof

roadbuttoSaragossa.Thearmywasnearathand,andtheking

waspreparingtoreviewit:buthiskeepersickenedhimofthe

project,bymakinghimbelievethathewouldbetakenbythe

French,whowereinforceintheneighbourhood;sothathewas

cowedbyagroundlessapprehension,andconsentedtobea

prisonerinhisowncourt.Theminister,fromanaffectionate

regardtohissafety,secludedhimfromallapproach:sothatthe

principalnobility,whohadequippedthemselvesatenormous

chargestobeabouthisperson,couldnotevenprocurean

occasionalaudience.Philip,wearyofbadlodgingsandworse

recreationatSaragossa,andperhapsfeelinghimselfscarcelyhis

ownmaster,soonreturnedtoMadrid.Thusendedtheroyal

campaign,andthecareofmaintainingthehonouroftheSpanish

colourswaslefttotheMarquisdelosVelez,commander-in-chief.

CH.IX.—TherevolutionofPortugal,anddisgraceoftheprime

minister.

AFEWdaysaftertheking’sreturn,analarmingreportprevailed

atMadrid,thatthePortuguese,consideringtheCatalanrevoltas

anopportunityofferedthembyfortuneforthrowingoffthe

Spanishyoke,hadtakenarms,andchosentheDukeofBraganzafor

theirking,withafulldeterminationofsupportinghimonthe

throne.Inthistheyconceivedthattheydidnotreckonwithout

theirhost;becauseSpainwasthenembroiledinGermany,Italy,

Flanders,andCatalonia.Theycouldnotinfacthavehitupona

crisismorefavourablefortheirdeliverancefromsogallinga

yoke.

Itwasastrangecircumstance,thatwhilebothcourtandcity

werestruckwithconsternationatthenews,mylordduke

attemptedtojokewiththeking,andmaketheDukeofBraganza

hisbutt;Philip,however,farfromfallinginwiththisill-timedpleasantry,assumedaseriousair,ofillomentothe

minister,whofelthisseattototterunderhim.Thequeenwas

nowhisdeclaredenemy,andopenlyaccusedhimofhavingcaused

therevoltofPortugalbyhismisconduct.Thenobilityin

general,andespeciallythosewhohadbeenatSaragossa,when

theysawacloudgatheringabouttheminister,joinedthequeen’s

party:butthedecisiveblowwasthereturnoftheduchess

dowagerofMantuafromhergovernmentofPortugaltoMadrid;for

sheprovedclearlytotheking’sconvictionthatthecounselsof

hisowncabinetproducedtherevolution.*[seenoteatendof

chapter]

Hismajesty,deeplyimpressedwithwhathehadheard,wasnow

completelyrecoveredfromeverysymptomofpartialitytowardshis

favourite.Theminister,findingthathisenemieswerein

possessionoftheroyalear,wroteforpermissiontoresignhis

employments,andretirefromcourt,sinceallthepolitical

mischancesofthetimewereascribedtohispersonaldelinquency.

Heexpectedaletterlikethistoproduceawonderfuleffect,

reckoningasbedidupontheprince’sprivatefriendship,which

couldscarcelybrookaseparation:buthismajesty’sanswer

undeceivedhim,bylaconicallycomplyingwithhisostensiblewish

towithdraw.

Suchasentenceofbanishmentintheking’sownhandwritingcame

likeathunder-storminharvest;butthoughdestructiontohis

long-cherishedhopes,heaffectedtheserenelookofconstancy,

andaskedmewhatIwoulddoinhiscircumstances.Iwoulddrive

beforethewind,saidI;renouncetheungratefulcourt,andpass

theremainderofmydaysinpeaceonmyownestate.Youcounsel

wisely,repliedmymaster,andIshallsetoutforLoeches,there

tofinishmycareer,afteronemoreinterviewwithhismajesty:

forIcouldwishjusttoconvincehimthatIhavedonewhatman

candotosupporttheheavyloadofstateuponmyshoulders,and

thatitwasnotwithinthecompassofpossibilitytopreventthe

unfortunateeventswhichareimputedtomeasacrime.Itwere

equallyreasonabletochargethepilotwiththewreckingfuryof

thestorm,andmakehimanswerablefortheuncontrolledpowerof

theelements.Thusdidtheministerinwardlyflatterhimselfthat

hecouldsetthingstorightsagain,andoncemorefixfirmthe

seatwhichwasshakingunderhim;buthecouldnotprocurean

audience,andwasevencommandedtoresignhiskeyofprivate

admissionintohismajesty’scloset.

Thislastrequisitionconvincedhimthattherewasnohope;and

henowmadeuphismindinearnestforretirement.Helookedover

hispapers,andhadtheprudencetoburnagoodnumber,hethen

selectedasmallhouseholdforhisretreat,andpublicly

announcedhisdepartureforthenextday.Apprehendinginsult

fromthemob,ifthetimeandmannerofhissettingoutwere

public,heescapedearlyinthemorningthroughthekitchensout

atthebackdoor,gotintoashabby,hiredcarriage,withhis

confessorandme,andreachedinsafetytheroadleadingto

Loeches,avillageonhisownestate,wherehiscountesshad

foundedamagnificentconventofDominicannuns.

*Note:

Atlengthhissovereignfrowns—thetrainofstate

Markthekeenglance,andwatchthesigntohate.

“Johnson’sImitationofJuvenal’sTenthSatire.”

CH.X.—Adifficult,butsuccessful,weaningfromtheworld.

Theminister’semploymentsinhisretreat.

MADAMED’OLIVAREZstayedbehindherhusbandsomefewdays,with

theintentionoftryingwhathertearsandentreatiesmightdo

towardshisrecall;butinvaindidsheprostrateherselfbefore

theirmajesties:thekingpaidnottheleastattentiontoher

pleadingsandremonstrances,thoughartfullyadaptedforeffect;

andthequeen,whohatedhermortally,tookasavagepleasurein

hertears.Theminister’slady,however,wasnoteasily

discouraged:shestoopedsolowastosolicittheirgoodoffices

fromtheladiesofthebedchamber;butthefruitofallthis

meannesswasonlythesadconvictionthatitexcitedmore

contemptthanpity.Heart-brokenathavingdegradedherselfby

supplicationssohumiliating,andyetsounavailing,shedeparted

toherhusband,andmournedwithhimthelossofasituation,

whichunderareignlikethatofPhiliptheFourth,waslittle

shortofsovereignpower.

TheaccountsherladyshipbroughtfromMadridwerewormwoodto

theduke.Yourenemies,saidshe,sobbing,withtheDukeof

MedinaCoeliattheirhead,areloudintheking’spraisesfor

yourremoval;andthepeopletriumphinyourdisgracewithan

insolentjoy,asifthecloudofadversityweretobedispelled

bythebreathwhichdissolvedyouradministration.Madam,saidmy

master,followmyexample;suppressyourdiscontent:wemust

drivebeforethestorm,whenwecannotweatherit.Ididthink,

indeed,thatmyfavourwouldonlybeeclipsedwiththelampof

life:acommonillusionofministersandfavourites,whoforget

thattheybreathebutatthegoodpleasureoftheirsovereign.

WasnottheDukeofLermaasmuchmistakenasmyself,though

fondlyrelyingonhispurple,asapledgeforthelastingtenure

ofhisauthority?

Thusdidmylorddukepreachpatiencetothepartnerofhis

cares,whilehisownbosomheavedunderthedirestpressureof

anxiety.ThefrequentdispatchesfromDonHenry,whowasstaying

aboutthecourttopickupinformation,kepthimcontinuallyon

thefret.Scipiowasthemessenger;forhewasstillaboutthe

personofthatyoungnobleman,thoughIhadrelinquishedmypost

onhismarriage.Sometimesweheardofchangesintheinferior

departmentsofoffice,solelyforthepurposeofwreaking

vengeanceonhiscreatures,andfillingupthevacancieswithhis

enemies.ThenDonLewisdeHarowasrepresentedasadvancingin

favour,andlikelytobemadeprimeminister.Butthemost

mortifyingcircumstanceofallwasthechangeintheviceroyalty

ofNaples,whichwastakenfromhisfriend,theDukedeMedinade

LasTorres,andbestowedontheHighAdmiralofCastile,whowas

hisbitterestenemy.Forthistherewasnoothermotivebutthe

pleasureofgivingpaintoafallenfavourite.

Forthefirstthreemonths,hislordshipgavehimselfupinhis

solitudeapreytodisappointmentandregret:buthisconfessor,

aholyandpiousDominican,supportinghisreligiouszealwith

manlyeloquence,succeededinpouringthebalmofconsolation

intohissoul.Bycontinuallyrepresentingtohim,withapostolic

energy,thathiseternalsalvationwasnowtheonlyobjectworth

hiscare,heweanedhimgraduallyfromtheusesofthisworld.

HisexcellencywasnolongerpantingfornewsfromMadrid,but

learninganewandimportantlesson,howtodie.Madame

d’Olivareztoo,makingavirtueofnecessity,soughtrefugefor

herselfinthematernalguardianshipofherconvent,where

Providencehadrearedup,forheredificationinfaithandgood

works,asisterhoodofholymaidens,whosespiritualdiscourses

fedhersoul,asifwithmannainthewilderness.Mymaster’s

peacewithinhisownbosomadvanced,ashewithdrewmorebackward

fromsublunarythings.Theemploymentofhisdaywasthuslaid

out:almostthewholemorningwasdevotedtoreligiousduties,

tilldinner-time;andafterdinner,forabouttwohours,he

playedatdifferentgameswithmeandsomeofhisconfidential

domestics:bethengenerallyretiredaloneintohisclosettill

sunset,whenhewalkedroundhisgarden,orrodeoutintothe

neighbourhoodeitherwithhisconfessororme.

OnedaywhenIwasalonewithhim,andwasparticularlystruck

withhisapparentself-complacency,Itookthelibertyof

congratulatinghislordshiponhiscompletereconciliationto

retirement.Use,howeverlateacquired,issecondnature,

answeredhe:forthoughIhaveallmylifebeenaccustomedtothe

bustleofbusiness,IassureyouthatIbecomeeverydaymoreand

moreattachedtothiscalmandpeacefulmodeoflife.

CH.XI.—Achangeinhislordshipfortheworse.The

marvellouscause,andmelancholyconsequences,ofhisdejection.

HISexcellencysometimesamusedhimselfwithgardening,bywayof

variety.OnedayasIwaswatchinghisprogress,hesaid

jokingly:Yousee,Santillane,afallenministercanturn

gardeneratlast.Naturewillprevail,mylord,answeredI.You

plantandwatersomethingusefulatLoeches,whileDionysiusof

SyracusewhippedschoolboysatCorinth.Mymasterwasnot

displeasedeitherwiththecomparisonorthecompliment

Wewerealldelightedatthecastletoseeourprotector,rising

abovethecloudofadversity,takepleasureinsonovelamodeof

life:butwesoonperceivedanalarmingchange.Hebecamegloomy,

thoughtful,andmelancholy.Ourpartiesatplaywereallgiven

up,andnoeffortscouldsucceedtodiverthismind.Fromdinner-timetilleveningheneverlefthiscloset.Wethoughtthedreams

ofvanishedgreatnesshadreturnedtobreakhisrest;andinthis

opinionthereverendDominicangavethereintohiseloquence;

butitcouldnotoutstripthecourseofthathypochondriac

malady,whichtriumphedoverallopposition.

Itseemedtometherewassomedeepercause,whichitbehoveda

sincerefriendtofathom.Takingadvantageofourbeingalone

together,Mylord,saidI,inatoneofmingledrespectand

affection,whenceisitthatyouarenolongersocheerfulas

heretofore?Hasyourphilosophylostground?orhastheworld

recovereditsallurements?Surelyyouwouldnotplungeagaininto

thatgulf,whereyourvirtuemustinevitablybeshipwrecked!No,

heavenbepraised!repliedtheminister:mypartatcourthas

longfadedfrommymemory,anditstrappingsfrommyeyes.

Indeed!whythen,resumedI,sinceyouhavestrengthenoughto

banishfalseregrets,areyousoweakastoindulgeamelancholy

whichalarmsusall?Whatisthematterwithyou,mydearmaster?

continuedI,fallingathisknees:somesecretsorrowpreysupon

you:canyouhideitfromSantillane,whosezeal,discretion,and

fidelityyouhavesooftenexperienced?WhyamIsounhappyasto

havelostyourconfidence?

Youstillpossessit,saidhislordship:butImustown,itis

reluctantlythatIshallrevealthesubjectofmydistress:yet

theimportunitiesofsuchafriendareirresistible.Tonoone

elsecouldIimpartsosingularaconfidence.Yes,Iamtheprey

ofamorbidmelancholywhicheatsinwardlyintomyvitals:a

spectrehauntsmeeverymoment,arrayedinthemostterrificform

ofpreternaturalhorror.InvainhaveIarguedwithmyselfthat

itisavisionofthebrain,anunrealmockery:itscontinual

presentmentsblastmysight,andunseatmyreason.Thoughmy

understandingteachesme,thatinlookingonthisspectreIstare

atvacancy,myspiritsaretooweaktoderivecomfortfromthe

conviction.Thusmuchhaveyouextortedfromme:nowjudge

whetherthecauseofmymelancholyisfittobedivulged.

WithequalgriefandastonishmentdidIlistentothestrange

confession,whichimpliedatotalderangementofthenervous

system.This,mylord,saidI,mustproceedfrominjudicious

abstinence.SoIthoughtatfirst,answeredhe;andtotrythe

experiment,Ihavebeeneatingmorethanusualforsomedays

past;butitisalltonopurpose,thephantomtakeshisstandas

usual.Itwillvanish,saidI,ifyourexcellencywillonly

divertyourmindbyyouraccustomedrelaxationswithyour

household.Companyandgentleoccupationarethebestremedies

fortheseaffectionsofthespirits.

Inashorttimeafterthisconversation,hislordshipbecame

seriouslyindisposed,andsentfortwonotariesfromMadrid,to

makehiswill.Threecapitalphysiciansfollowedintheirtrack,

whohadthereputationofcuringtheirpatientsnowandthen.As

soonasitwasnoisedaboutthecastlethattheselast

undertakerswerearrived,thecasewasgivenupforlost;weeping

andgnashingofteethtookplaceuniversally,andthefamily

mourningwasordered.Theybroughtwiththemtheirusual

understrappers,anapothecaryandasurgeon*.Thenotarieswere

sufferedtoearntheirfeefirst,afterwhichdeath’snotaries

preparedtotakeabondofthepatient.Theypractisedinthe

schoolofSangrado,andfromtheirveryfirstconsultation,

orderedbleedingsofrequentlyandfreely,thatinsixdaysthey

broughthislordshiptothepointofdeath,andontheseventh

deliveredhimfromtheterrorofhissprite.

Aftertheminister’sdecease,alivelyandsinceresorrowreigned

inthecastleofLoeches.Thewholehouseholdweptbitterly.Far

fromderivingconsolationfromthecertaintyofbeingremembered

inhiswill,therewasnotadependentwhowouldnotwillingly

havesavedhislifebythesacrificeofthelegacy.Asforme,

whomhemostdelightedin,attachedtohimasIwasfrom

disinterestedfriendship,mygriefwasmoreacutethanthatof

therest.IquestionwhetherAntoniacostmemoretears.

*Translator’sNote:

….Behindhimsneaks

Anothermortal,notunlikehimself,

Ofjargonfull,withtermsobscureo’ercharged,

Apothecarycall’d,whosefoetidhands

Withpowermechanic,andwithcharmsarcane,

Apollo,godofmedicine,hasendued.—BRAMSTON.

CH.XII.—TheproceedingsattheCastleofLoechesafterhis

lordship’sdeath,andthecoursewhichSantillaneadopted.

THEminister,accordingtohislastinjunctions,wasburied

withoutpompandwithoutprocessionintheconvent,withadirge

ofourlamentations.Afterthefuneral,Madamed’Olivarezcalled

ustogethertohearthewillread,withwhichthehouseholdhad

goodreasontobesatisfied.Everyonehadalegacyproportioned

tohisclaim,andnonelessthantwothousandcrowns:minewas

thelargest,amountingtotenthousandpistoles,asamarkofhis

singularregard.Thehospitalswerenotforgotten,andprovision

wasmadeforanannualcommemorationinseveralconvents.

Madamed’OlivarezsentallthehouseholdtoMadridtoreceive

theirlegaciesfromDonRaymondCaporis,whohadorderstopay

them;butIcouldnotbeoftheparty,inconsequenceofa

violentfeverfromdistressofmind,whichconfinedmetothe

castleformorethanaweek.Duringthattime,thereverend

Dominicanpaidmeallpossibleattention.Hehadconceiveda

friendshipforme,whichwasnotconfinedtomyworldly

interests,andwasanxioustoknowhowImeanttodisposeof

myselfonmyrecovery.IansweredthatIhadnotyetmadeupmy

minduponthesubject:thereweremomentswhenmyfeelings

stronglypromptedtowardsareligiousvow.Preciousmoments!

exclaimedtheDominican,youwilldowelltoprofitbythem.I

adviseyouasafriendtoretiretoourconventatMadrid,for

example;theretobecomeapiousbenefactorbythefreegiftof

yourwholefortune,andtodieintheliveryofSaintDominic.

ManyveryquestionableChristianshavemadeamendsforalifeof

sinbysoholyanend.

Intheactualdispositionofmymind,thisadvicewasnot

unpalatable;andIpromisedtoreflectuponit.Butonconsulting

Scipio,whocametoseemeimmediatelyafterthemonk,hetreated

theverynotionasthephantomofadistemperedbrain.Forshame!

saidhe;doesnotyourestateatLiriasofferamoreeligible

seclusion?Ifyouweredelightedwithitformerly,thecharmwill

beincreasedtenfold,nowthatthelapseofyearshasmoderated

yoursenseofpleasure,andsofteneddownyourtastetothe

simplebeautiesofnature.

Itwasnodifficultmattertooperateachangeinmy

inclinations.Myfriend,saidI,youcarryitdecidedlyagainst

theadvocateofSaintDominic.WewillgobacktoLiriasassoon

asIamwellenoughtotravel.Thishappenedshortly;forasthe

feversubsided,Isoonfeltmyselfsufficientlystrongtoputmy

designinexecution.WewentfirsttoMadrid.Thesightofthat

citygavemefarothersensationsthanheretofore.AsIknewthat

almostitswholepopulationheldinhorrorthememoryofa

minister,ofwhomIcherishedthemostaffectionateremembrance,

Icouldnotfeelatmyeasewithinitsprecincts.Mystaywas

thereforelimitedtofiveorsixdays,whileScipiowasmaking

thenecessaryarrangementsforourrustication.InthemeantimeI

waitedonCaporis,andreceivedmylegacyinreadymoney.I

likewisemademyarrangementswiththereceiversfortheregular

remittanceofmypensions,andsettledallmyaffairsindue

order.

Theeveningbeforeourdeparture,IaskedthesonofCoselina

whetherhehadreceivedhisfarewellfromDonHenry.Yes,

answeredhe,wetookleaveofeachotherthismorningwithmutual

civility;hewentsofarastoexpresshisregretthatIshould

quithim;buthoweverwellsatisfiedhemightbewithme,Iamby

nomeanssowithhim.Mutualcontentislikeariver,whichmust

haveitsbanksoneitherside.Besides,DonHenrymakesbuta

pitifulfigureatcourtnow;hehasfallenintouttercontempt;

peoplepointathimwiththeirfingerinthestreets,andcall

himaGenoesebastard.Judge,then,foryourself,whetheritis

consistentwithmycharactertokeepuptheconnection.

WeleftMadridonemorningatsunrise,andwentforCuen�a.The

followingwastheorderofourequipment;wetwoinachaiseand

pair,threemules,ladenwithbaggageandmoney,ledbytwo

groomsandtwostoutfootmen,wellarmed,intherear;thegrooms

woresabres,andthepostilionhadapairofpistolsinhis

holsters.Asweweresevenmeninall,andsixofusdetermined

fellows,Itooktheroadgaily,withouttremblingformylegacy.

Inthevillagesthroughwhichwepassedourmuleschimedtheir

bellsmerrily,andthepeasantsrantotheirdoorstoseeus

pass,supposingittobeatleasttheparadeofsomenobleman

goingtotakepossessionofsomeviceroyalty.

CH.XIII.—ThereturnofGilBlastohisseat.Hisjoyat

findinghisgod-daughterSeraphinamarriageable;andhisown

secondventureinthelotteryoflove.

WEwereafortnightonourjourneytoLirias,havingnooccasion

tomakerapidstages.Thesightofmyowndomainbrought

melancholythoughtsintomymind,withtheimageofmylost

Antonia;butbettertopicsofreflectioncametomyaid,witha

fullpurposetolookatthingsonthebrighterside,andthe

lapseoftwo-and-twentyyears,whichhadgraduallyimpairedthe

forceoftenderregret.

AssoonasIenteredthecastle,Beatriceandherdaughter

greetedmemostcordially,whilethefamilyscenewasinteresting

intheextreme.Whentheirmutualtransportswereover,Ilooked

earnestlyatmygod-daughter,saying:CanthisbetheSeraphina

whomIleftinhercradle?howtallandpretty!wemustmakea

goodmatchforher.What!mydeargodfather,criedmylittle

girlwithanenchantingblush,youhavebutjustseenme,anddo

youwanttogetridofmeatonce!No,mylovelychild,replied

I,wehopenottoloseyoubymarriage,buttofindahusbandfor

youintheneighbourhood.

Thereisonereadytoyourhands,saidBeatrice.Seraphinamadea

conquestonedayatmass.Hersuitorhasdeclaredhispassion,

andaskedmyconsent.Itoldhimthathisacceptancedependedon

herfatherandhergodfather;andhereyouaretodeterminefor

yourselves.

Whatisthecharacterofthisvillagelordling?saidScipio.Is

henot,likehisfellows,thelittletyrantofthesoil,and

insolenttothosewhohavenopedigreetoboast?Thefurthest

fromitintheworld,answeredBeatrice;theyoungmanisgentle

inhistemperandpolishedinhismanners;handsomewithal,and

somewhatunderthirty.Youpainthiminflatteringcolours,said

ItoBeatrice;whatishisname?DonJuandeJutella,replied

Scipio’swife:itisnotlongsincebecametohisinheritance:

helivesonhisownestate,aboutamileoff,withayounger

sister,ofwhomhetakescare.Ionceknewsomethingofhis

family,observedI;itisoneofthebestinValencia.Icare

lessforlineage,criedScipio,thanforthequalitiesofthe

heartandmind;thisDonJuanwillexactlysuitus,ifheisa

goodsortofman.Heisbeliedelse,saidSeraphina,witha

blushinginterestinourconversation;theinhabitantsofLirias,

whoknowhimwell,sayallthegoodofhimyoucanconceive.I

smiledatthis;andherfather,notlessquick-sighted,saw

plainlythatherhearthadashareinthetestimonyofher

tongue.

Thegentlemansoonheardofourarrival,andpaidhisrespectsto

uswithintwodays.Hisaddresswaspleasingandmanly,soasto

prepossessusinhisfavour.Heaffectedmerelytowelcomeus

homeasaneighbour.Ourreceptionwassuchasnottodiscourage

therepetitionofhisvisit;butnotawordofSeraphina!Whenhe

wasgone,Beatriceaskedushowwelikedhim.Wecouldhaveno

objectiontomake,andgaveitasouropinionthatSeraphina

couldnotdisposeofherselfbetter.

Thenextday,ScipioandIreturnedthevisit.Wetookaguide,

andluckily;forotherwiseitmighthavepuzzledustofindthe

place.Itwasnottillouractualarrivalthatitwasvisible;

forthemansionwassituatedatthefootofamountain,inthe

middleofawood,whoseloftytreeshiditfromourview.There

wasanantiqueandruinousappearanceaboutit,whichspokemore

forthedescentthanthewealthofitsproprietor.Onour

entrance,however,theeleganceoftheinteriorarrangementmade

amendsforthedilapidatedgrandeuroftheouterwalls.

DonJuanreceivedusinahandsomeroom,whereheintroducedhis

sisterDorothea,aladybetweennineteenandtwentyyearsofage.

Shewasagooddealtrickedout,asifshehadprimedandloaded

herselfforconquest,inexpectationofourvisit.Thus

presentingallhercharmsinfullforce,shedidbymemuchas

Antoniahaddonebefore;butImanagedmyrapturessodiscreetly,

thatevenScipiohadnosuspicion.Ourconversationturned,ason

theprecedingday,onthemutualpleasureofgoodneighbourhood.

StillhedidnotopenonthesubjectofSeraphina,nordidwe

attempttodrawhimout.Duringourinterview,Ioftencasta

sideglanceatDorothea,thoughwithallthereserveofdelicate

apprehension;wheneveroureyesmet,thecitadelofmyheartwas

readytosurrender.Todescribetheobjectofmylovejustly,as

wellasfeelingly,herbeautywasnotofthemostperfectkind:

herskinwasofadazzlingwhiteness,andherlipsunitedthe

colourwiththefragranceoftherose;butherfeatureswerenot

soregularandwell-proportionedasmighthavebeenwished:yet,

altogether,shewonmyheart.

Inshort,IleftthemansionofJutellaadifferentmanfromwhat

Iwasonenteringit:sothat,returningtoLiriaswithmywhole

soulabsorbedinDorothea,Isawandspokeonlyofher.Howis

this,master!saidScipiowithalookofastonishment:youseem

tobeverymuchtakenwithDonJuan’ssister!Canyoubeinlove

withher?Yes,myfriend,answeredI:tomyshamebeitspoken.

SincethedeathofAntonia,howmanylovelyfemaleshavepassed

inreviewbeforemewithindifference:andmustmypassionsbe

irresistiblykindledatthistimeoflife?Indeed,sir,replied

thesonofCoselina,youmayblessyourstars,insteadof

squabblingwithyourself:youarenotsooldastomakeyour

sacrificeattheshrineofloveaby-word;andtimehasnotyet

ploughedsuchfurrowsonyourbrow,astorenderhopelessthe

desireofpleasing.WhenyouseeDonJuannext,askhimboldly

forhissister:hecannotrefusehertoyou;andbesides,ifhis

viewsinhersettlementareambitious,howcanhedobetter?You

haveapatentofnobilityinyourpocket,anduponthatyour

posteritymayrideeasy;afterfivegenerations,whenpedigree

herselfshallbelostintheconfusionofhermaterials,itmay

exercisethediligenceoflearnedinquiry,totracethefamilyof

theSantillanestothebeginningofitsarchives,andconsecrate

thefameofitsfounderbytheindistinctnessofhisstory.

CH.XIV.—Adoublemarriage,andtheconclusionofthehistory.

Bythisdiscourse,Scipioencouragedmetodeclaremyself,

withoutconsideringbowheexposedmetothedangerofarefusal.

Myownresolutionwastakenwithfearandtrembling.ThoughI

carriedmyyearswell,andmighthavesunkatleastten,itdid

notseemunlikelythatayoungbeautymightturnuphernoseat

thedisparity.Idetermined,however,toboltthequestionthe

firsttimeIsawherbrother,whowasnotwithouthis

trepidationsonthesubjectofmygod-daughter.

Hereturnedmycallthenextmorning,justasIhaddone

dressing.SignordeSantillane,saidhe,Iwishtospeakwithyou

onsomeseriousbusiness.Itookhimintomycloset,where

enteringonthesubjectatonce,Iimagine,continuedhe,that

youarenotunacquaintedwiththepurposeofmyvisit:Ilove

Seraphina;youareallinallwithherfather;Imustrequestyou

thereforetointercedeandprocureformetheaccomplishmentof

myheart’sdesire:thenshallIhavetothankyoufortheprime

blissofmyexistence.SignorDonJuan,answeredI,asyoucome

tothepointatonce,youcanhavenoobjectiontomyfollowing

yourexample:Mygoodofficesarefullyatyourservice,andI

shallhopeforyourswithyoursisterinreturn.

DonJuanwasagreeablysurprised.Canitbepossible,exclaimed

he,thatDorotheashouldhavemadeaconquestofyourheartsince

yesterday?Itisevenso,saidI,anditwouldmakemethe

happiestofmen,iftheproposalshouldmeetwithyourjoint

approbation.Youmayrelyonthat,repliedhe;thoughwithsome

pretensionstofamilypride,yoursisnotanalliancetobe

despised.Youflattermehighly,rejoinedI;thatyouarenot

mealy-mouthedaboutreceivingacommonerintoyourpedigree,isa

markofgoodsense;butevenifnobilityhadbeenanecessary

ingredientinyoursister’srequisitesforahusband,weshould

nothavequarrelledonthataccount.Ihaveworkedouttwenty

yearsinthetrammelsofoffice;andtheking,asarewardofmy

longlabours,hasgrantedmeapatentofnobility.Thishigh-mindedgentlemanreadmycredentialsoverwithextreme

satisfaction,andreturningthem,toldmethatDorotheawasmine.

AndSeraphinayours,exclaimedI.

Thuswerethetwomarriagesagreedonbetweenus.Theconsentof

theintendedbrideswasallthatremained;forweneitherofus

presumedtocontroltheinclinationsofourwards.Myfriend

thereforecarriedhomemyproposaltohissister,andIcalled

Scipio,Beatrice,andmygod-daughtertogether,forthepurpose

oflayingopenasimilarproject.Beatricevotedloudlyfor

immediateacceptance,andSeraphinasilently.Thefatherdidnot

saymuchagainstit;butboggledalittleatthefortunehemust

givetoagentlemanwhoseseatrequiredsuchimmediateand

extensiverepairs.IstoppedScipio’smouthbytellinghimthat

wasmyconcern,andthatIshouldcontributefourthousand

pistolestothearchitect’sestimate.

Intheevening,DonJuancameagain.Yourbusinessisgoing

swimmingly,saidI;prayheavenminemaypromiseasfairly.

Betteritcannot,answeredhe;myinfluencewasquiteunnecessary

toprevailwithDorothea;yourpersonhadmadeitsimpression,

andyourmannerspleasedher.Youwereafraidshemightnotlike

you;whileshe,withmorereason,havingnothingtoofferyoubut

herheartandhand….Whatwouldsheoffermore?interrupted

I,outofmywitswithjoy.SincethelovelyDorotheacanthink

ofmewithoutrepugnance,Iasknomore:myfortuneisample,and

thepossessionofheristheonlydowryIshouldvalue.

DonJuanandmyself,highlydelightedathavingbroughtourviews

tobearsosoon,wereforhasteningournuptials,andcuttingoff

allsuperfluousceremonies.Iclosetedthegentlemanwith

Seraphina’sparents;thesettlemeutsweresoonagreedon,andhe

tookhisleave,promisingtoreturnnextdaywithDorothea.My

eagerdesireofappearingagreeableinthatlady’seyes,

occasionedmetospendthreehoursatleastinadjustingmy

dress,andcommunicatingtheairofalovertomyperson;butI

couldnotdoitsomuchtomymindasinmyyoungerdays.The

preparationsforcourtshipareapleasuretoayoungman,buta

seriousbusinessandhazardousspeculationtoonewhois

beginningtobeoldish.Andyetitturnedoutbetterthanmy

hopesordeserts;forDonJuan’ssisterreceivedmeso

graciously,astoputmeingoodhumourwithmyself.Iwas

charmedwiththeturnofhermind;andforebodedthatwith

discreetmanagementandmuchdeference,Imightreallygetherto

likemeaswellasanybodyelse.FullofthissweethopeIsent

forthelawyerstodrawupthetwocontracts,andforthe

clergymanofPaterna,tobringusbetteracquaintedwithour

mistresses.

ThusdidIlightthetorchofHymenforthesecondtime,andit

didnotburnbluewiththebrimstoneofrepentance.Dorothea,

likeavirtuouswife,madeapleasureofherduty;ingratitude

forthepainsItooktoanticipateallherwishes,shesoonloved

measwellasifIhadbeenyounger.DonJuanandmygod-daughter

weremostenthusiasticintheirmutualardour;andwhatwasmost

unprecedentedofall,thetwosisters-in-lawlovedoneanother

sincerely.DonJuanwasamaninwhomallgoodqualitiesmet:my

esteemforhimincreaseddaily,andhedidnotrepayitwith

ingratitude.Inshort,wewereahappyandunitedfamily:we

couldscarcelybeartheintervalofseparationbetweenevening

andmorning.OurtimewasdividedbetweenLiriasandJutella:his

excellency’spistolesmadetheoldbattlementstoraisetheir

headsagain,andthecastletoresumeitslordlyport.

Forthesethreeyears,reader,Ihaveledalifeofunmixedbliss

inthisbelovedsociety.Toperfectmysatisfaction,heavenhas

deignedtosendmetwosmilingbabes,whoseeducationwillbethe

amusementofmydecliningyears;andifeverhusbandmight

venturetohazardsoboldanhypothesis,Idevoutlybelieve

myselftheirfather.

THEEND