Parenting a Parenting a College StudentCollege Student

Summer Bridge 2013Summer Bridge 2013

1st Day of School/ 11st Day of School/ 1stst Day of Day of CollegeCollege

(Adam Zyglis, 2009/ Buffalo News)(Adam Zyglis, 2009/ Buffalo News)

What We Will CoverWhat We Will Cover What college students experience What college students experience in their transition to collegein their transition to college

Characteristics of successful Characteristics of successful college studentscollege students

What you can do to help support What you can do to help support your studentyour student

Parent transitionsParent transitions BG Thoughts (Avoiding Denied Parent BG Thoughts (Avoiding Denied Parent

Syndrome)Syndrome)

ExcitementExcitement Initial excitement at Initial excitement at starting collegestarting college

Feeling more like an Feeling more like an adultadult

Tendency to test new Tendency to test new limits and boundaries limits and boundaries

Stress and AnxietyStress and Anxiety Academic demandsAcademic demands Questioning whether they Questioning whether they can succeed in collegecan succeed in college

Roommate issuesRoommate issues Responsibilities from Responsibilities from living on their ownliving on their own

Financial concernsFinancial concerns

GuiltGuilt

Students may feel that one Students may feel that one or more parents are or more parents are

dependent on them and dependent on them and that going to college is that going to college is an act of betrayal or an act of betrayal or

abandonment.abandonment.

LonelinessLoneliness HomesicknessHomesickness Psychological lonelinessPsychological loneliness

Feeling like they donFeeling like they don’’t have t have anyone to talk to about their anyone to talk to about their fearsfears

DonDon’’t want to burden parents t want to burden parents with their concernswith their concerns

DonDon’’t know where to go for t know where to go for adviceadvice

Successful college Successful college students…students…

Have good time managementHave good time management Can motivate themselvesCan motivate themselves Know a variety of study Know a variety of study skills and strategiesskills and strategies

Are aware of university Are aware of university policies and procedurespolicies and procedures

Seek helpSeek help

How to Support Your How to Support Your StudentStudent

Be available to talk, listen, and give encouragementEncourage them to get involved

Ask questions (but not too many)Show interest in their classes, new friends, or activities

Avoid pressuring them when they’re reluctant to talk

How to Support Your How to Support Your StudentStudent

(continued)(continued)Don’t ask them if they’re homesick

Write or e-mail (even if they don’t write back)

Call (but not too often)Be a good listener (i.e. hear the

whole story before you comment)Don’t worry too much

How to Support Your How to Support Your StudentStudent

(continued)(continued)Expect change (but not too much)Be understanding of the changes and stress your student may experience

Trust themKeep an open mind to their new ideas, experiences, and opinions

Be a home base

Consider Your Consider Your TransitionTransition

(Parent, this means you)(Parent, this means you) May experience the May experience the ““empty nestempty nest”” syndromesyndrome

Spend more quality time with Spend more quality time with your partner and friendsyour partner and friends

Join a club or activity you Join a club or activity you have put off in the pasthave put off in the past

Learn something newLearn something new Take a class or start a new Take a class or start a new hobbyhobby

Dr. Gamble ThoughtsDr. Gamble Thoughts(Avoiding Denied Parent Syndrome)(Avoiding Denied Parent Syndrome)

Get to know as much about their friends as you Get to know as much about their friends as you can (e.g. Friend?, Fight, Finances in 1can (e.g. Friend?, Fight, Finances in 1stst year) year)

Encourage their efforts to make long term Encourage their efforts to make long term decisionsdecisions

Learning family history is good for their Learning family history is good for their identity development and dating relationship identity development and dating relationship decisionsdecisions

Encourage them to develop their story for Encourage them to develop their story for their first Thanksgiving no matter how far out their first Thanksgiving no matter how far out there it may seemthere it may seem

Help them establish goals for the next 10 Help them establish goals for the next 10 yearsyears