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‘Oliver’

Whole School coming through audience banging on plates and spoons. All: Is it worth the waiting for? If we live 'til eighty four All we ever get is gru...el! Ev'ry day we say our prayer -- Will they change the bill of fare? Still we get the same old gru...el! There is not a cust, not a crumb can we find, Can we beg, can we borrow, or cadge, But there's nothing to stop us from getting a thrill When we all close our eyes and imag...ine Food, glorious food! Hot sausage and mustard! While we're in the mood -- Cold jelly and custard! Pease pudding and saveloys! What next is the question? Rich gentlemen have it, boys -- In-di-gestion! Food, glorious food! We're anxious to try it. Three banquets a day -- Our favourite diet! Just picture a great big steak -- Fried, roasted or stewed. Oh, food, Wonderful food, Marvellous food, Glorious food. Food, glorious food! Don't care what it looks like -- Burned! Underdone! Crude! Don't care what the cook's like. Just thinking of growing fat -- Our senses go reeling One moment of knowing that Full-up feeling! Food, glorious food! What wouldn't we give for That extra bit more -- That's all that we live for

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Why should we be fated to Do nothing but brood On food, Magical food, Wonderful food, Marvellous food, Fabulous food, Beautiful food, Glorious food

Mr. Bumble: For what you’re about to receive may the lord make you truly thankful – amen (2

bangs of staff, 1st to raise spoons, 2nd to start eating)

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Scene 1 – Orphan’s workhouse dining room 1st Orphan: Go on. Go on. Oliver: Please, sir, I want some more. Mr. Bumble: What? Oliver: Please, sir…. I want some more! Mr. Bumble: More? More? What do you mean, more? (moving towards Oliver as Oliver takes off,

chase around stage as……)

Orphan Chorus: - Catch him! - Snatch him! - Hold him! - Scold him! - Pounce him, trounce him! - Pick him up and bounce him!

(Mr. Bumble catching Oliver and swinging him around to face audience.) Mr. Bumble: Wait! Before we take the lad to task may I be so curious as to ask his name? Orphan Chorus or 2nd Orphan: Oliver Twist, Mr. Bumble. You named him yourself. (Oliver and Bumble come

forward) Mr. Bumble: So that’s what he’s called. Clear stage. Only Oliver, Mr. Bumble and chorus to remain.

Oliver, Oliver Never before has a boy wanted more Oliver, Oliver Won't ask for more when he knows what's in store There's a dark, thin winding stairway without any banistair Which we'll throw him down and feed him the cockroaches served in a canister Oliver, Oliver What will he do when he's turned black and blue He will rule the day somebody named him Ol-i-ver Oliver, Oliver Never before has a boy wanted more Oliver, Oliver Won't ask for more when he knows what's in store There's a long, thin winding stairway without any banister Which we'll throw him down and feed him the cockroaches served in a canister Oliver, Oliver What heavens pray will the governors say They will lay the blame on the one who named him Ol-i-ver

Mr. Bumble: To bed, all, we shall deal with ‘Oliver’ in the morning. (ushering boys to beds at

side of stage)

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Scene 2 – Bedtime Orphan Chorus: There’s Oliver! (tauntingly) Where’s your mother, orphan boy? Oliver: You leave my mother out of this, she’s dead. 1st Child: What she die of? Shortage of breath? Oliver: You better not say anything about her to me! 2nd Child: Don’t you be cheeky, workhouse! 1st Child: Your mother, she was really unkind! Oliver: (growing angry and raising fists) If you can’t say anything nice, then please say

nothing at all! 2nd Child: (mockingly) Oh, listen to you, goody two shoes!

Where is love? Does it fall from skies above? Is it underneath the willow tree That I've been dreaming of? Where is she? Who I close my eyes to see? Will I ever know the sweet "hello" That's only meant for me? Who can say where she may hide? Must I travel far and wide? 'Til I am beside the someone who I can mean something to ... Where...? Where is love? Who can say where...she may hide? Must I travel...far and wide? 'Til I am beside...the someone who I can mean...something to... Where? Where is love?

Oliver: That’s it! I’m getting out of here! I’m off to London, I’ll find my fortune there! Lights down

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Scene 3 Dodger enter and stand stage left Lights up:– The streets of London Oliver: (Enter stage right looking bewildered until he sees Dodger) Please help me.

Please! Artful Dodger: What you starin’ at? Haven’t you never seen a toff before? Oliver: No, never. I’m sorry, I didn’t……….. Artful Dodger: That’s alright. You hungry? Oliver: Yes I am. I’ve come a long way. I’ve been walking for seven days. Artful Dodger: Been escaping the beak? Oliver: The what? Artful Dodger: Don’t say you don’t know what the beak is? Oliver: It’s a bird’s mouth, isn’t it? Artful Dodger: My eyes! How green can you get? For your information a beak is a magistrate,

the long arm of the law. Who are you running from then? Your old man? Oliver: No, I’m an orphan. I’ve come to London to make my fortune. Artful Dodger: Oh you have, have you? Got any lodgings? Any money? Oliver: Not a farthing. Do you live in London? Artful Dodger: I suppose you want some place to sleep tonight, eh? Let’s walk. (Oliver and

Dodger begin to walk) Oliver: Do you know of anywhere? Artful Dodger: As it happens, I know a respectable old gentleman. He’ll give you lodgings for

nothing. Oliver: Really? He must be very kind. Artful Dodger: Oh yes, he’s very kind. And I’m a particular favourite of his. Well if you’re

coming along I’d better know who you are. Oliver: My name is Oliver. Oliver Twist. Artful Dodger: Mine’s Jack Dawkins……better known among me more intimate friends as The

Artful Dodger.

Enter Chorus (bring on washing line of coloured handkerchiefs)

DODGER (spoken)] So, Oliver Twist, you're coming with me. [OLIVER (spoken)] Are you sure Mr. Fagin won't mind? [DODGER (spoken)] Mind?! Consider yourself at home. Consider yourself one of the family. We've taken to you so strong. It's clear we're going to get along.

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Consider yourself well in Consider yourself par to the furniture. There isn't a lot to spare. Who cares?..What ever we've goin we share! If it should chance to be We should see Some harder days Empty larder days Why grouse? Always a-chance we'll meet Somebody To foot the bill Then the drinks are on the house! Consider yourself our mate. We don't want to have no fuss, For after some consideration, we can state... Consider yourself One of us! Consider yourself... At home? Consider yourself... One of the family We've taken to you So strong It's clear...we're... Going to get along Consider yourself... Well in! Consider yourself... Part of the furniture There isn't a lot to spare Who cares? Whatever we got we share Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity-- There a cup-o'-tea for all. Only it's wise to be handy wiv a rolling pin When the landlord comes to call! Consider yourself Our mate. We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration we can sate Consider yourself Yes! One of us! Consider yourself at home... We've taken to you so strong. Consider yourself well in... There isn't a lot to spare If it should chance to be We should see Some harder days Empty larder days -- Why grouse? Always a chance we'll meet Somebody To food the bill --

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Then the drinks are on the house! Consider yourself our mate. We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration, we can state... Consider yourself... One of us! Consider yourself At home. We've taken to you So strong Consider yourself Well in. There isn't a lot to spare. Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity. There's a cup-o'-tea for all Only it's wise to be handy wiv a rolling pin When the landlord comes to call Consider yourself our mate We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself One of us... For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself... One of us! If it should chance to be We should see some harder days, Empty larder days, Why grouse? Always a chance we'll meet Somebody to foot the bill. Then the drinks are on the house. Consider yourself at home. Consider yourself one of the family. We've taken to you so strong. It's clear we're going to get along. Consider yourself well in. Consider yourself part of the furniture. There isn't a lot to spare. Who cares? Whatever we've got we share. If it should chance to be We should see some harder days, Empty larder days, Why grouse? Always a chance we'll meet Somebody to foot the bill. Then the drinks are on the house. Consider yourself our mate. We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself... One of us!! Lights down

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Scene 4 – Fagin;’s Den Enter Fagin. Lights Up

Pickpocket 1: Hi! Dodger Artful Dodger: Like to introduce a new chum, Oliver. (walking through pickpockets, saying

hello, hiya, until they reach Fagin) Hey Fagin, I’ve brought a new friend to meet you. His name’s Oliver Twist.

Oliver: Sir, I hope I shall have the honour of your acquaintance. Fagin: We are very glad to see you, Oliver. Aren’t we, my dears? Pickpockets All - Of course we are! Fagin: Dodger, take off those sausages! Charlie, lay a place at the table for Mr. Twist.

The Dodger tells me you come to London….. to seek your fortune. Oliver: Yes sir. Fagin: Well we must see what we can do to help you. Mustn’t we? Oliver: Thank you sir. Pickpocket 2 He’s so kind. Pickpocket 3 These sausages are mouldy! Pickpocket 1 That’s how well he looks after us. Fagin: Be quiet and eat your supper! (Turning to Oliver) You staring at the pocket

handkerchiefs, eh my dear? We hung them up to dry, that’s all. Oliver: Is this a laundry then sir? Pickpocket 2: This is no laundry, mate! Fagin: Not, exactly my boy. I suppose a laundry would be a very nice thing indeed. But

our line of business pays a little better, don’t it boys? You see Oliver…… Fagin: (beginning to sing)

In this life One thing counts In the bank, large amounts. I’m afraid these don’t grow on trees, You’ve got to pick a pocket or two, boys, You’ve got to pick a pocket or two. Large amounts don’t grow on trees, You’ve got to pick a pocket or two.

Fagin: Let’s show Oliver how to do it. Just a game, Oliver, just a game. (While the

song continues, pick pockets move about picking handkerchiefs from each other. Have a couple planted in the audience)

FAGIN (spoken)] You see, Oliver... [sung] In this life, one thing counts In the bank, large amounts I'm afraid these don't grow on trees, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

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Large amounts don't grow on trees. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN (spoken)] Let's show Oliver how it's done, shall we, my dears? [sung] Why should we break our backs Stupidly paying tax? Better get some untaxed income Better to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. Why should we all break our backs? Better pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN (spoken)] Who says crime doesn't pay? [sung] Robin Hood, what a crook! Gave away, what he took. Charity's fine, subscribe to mine. Get out and pick-a-pocket or two You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. Robin Hood was far too good He had to pick-a-pocket or two. Take a tip from Bill Sikes He can whip what he likes. I recall, he started small He had to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. We can be like old Bill Sikes If we pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN (spoken)] Stop thief! Dear old gent passing by Something nice takes his eye Everything's clear, attack the rear Get in and pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. Have no fear, attack the rear Get in and pick-a-pocket or two. When I see someone rich, Both my thumbs start to itch Only to find some peace of mind We have to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

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Just to find some peace of mind We have to pick-a-pocket or two!

Fagin: Put them all back in the box, all of them! (Beckons to pickpocket 1) Come here

(takes loot) Good boy. What a crook. We’ve all been hard at work today, haven’t we my dears? What have you got Dodger?

Artful Dodger: Couple of wallets. Fagin: Lined? Artful Dodger: Only the best! Fagin: Not as heavy as they might be….but very nicely made. – Ingenious workman

isn’t he, Oliver? Oliver: Does he make them himself? Fagin: With his very own hands, would you like to learn how? Oliver: Yes, Mr. Fagin, if you’ll teach me? Fagin: Certainly my boy, no fee, just do everything that dodger and the other boys do.

Make them your models! Especially Dodger. He’s going to be a right little Bill Sykes.

Oliver: Who’s Bill Sykes Mr. Fagin? Fagin: He’s a very clever gentleman. You’ll meet him tomorrow maybe. Now, is it

possible perchance that my handkerchief is protruding from my pocket? Oliver: I can see the edge. Fagin: Can you? Then see if you can take it out……without me feeling it, like you saw

the others do. (Oliver pulls the handkerchief from the pocket) (singing) You’ve got to pick a pocket or two….. Is it gone?

Oliver: Yes, Mr. Fagin. Look. Fagin: That’s a surprise, I must say! You’re a clever boy, Oliver! I never saw a sharper

lad. Here’s a shilling for you. (All rushing forward for shillings only to be disappointed) I have to go to the bank. Now bedtime all of you! There’s a hard day’s work ahead!

Oliver: Where do I sleep, sir? Fagin: Over here, my boy. Settle down now. Dodger, take off that hat in bed — where

are your manners? Here you go my lad. If you go on the way you started, you will be. . . the greatest man of all time. Sweet dreams, Oliver. Sweet dreams.

Oliver: Good night, sir.

(All settle for the night and lights fade)

Fagin: You’ve got to pick a pocket or two Boys You’ve got to pick a pocket Or two

Lights dim, chorus, Oliver and Dodger leave stage. Fagin steps forward.

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Scene 5— Outside Fagin ‘s (Lights coming up again to indicate morning)Enter Nancy

Nancy: Is he here? Mr Sykes. Did he come yet? Fagin: Your man should be here, soon, Nancy — out on a job no doubt. Nancy: How’s business? Nice and brisk? Fagin: Can’t complain, can’t complain.

(Enter Bill Sykes with loot stage)

Fagin:

Here you are then, Bill! A good night?

(Nancy and Fagin have a look at the loot)

Nancy:

Beautiful! Beautiful! You did well, Bill!

Bill:

What you give me for it then, Fagin?

Fagin:

I don’t carry cash in the dark, Bill. Not with all those robbers and thieves lurking in the alleyways — you never knows who’s out and about.

Bill Sykes:

Okay then. You price it up and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Fagin: See you later then! I could be done with some sleep. Nancy: Ok then, Fagin, see you tomorrow. Fagin: Yep, see you then. (Lights fade as Fagin moves forward, then come up to indicate morning)

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Scene 6 – Outside Fagin’s Den Pickpockets washing and tidying themselves as Nancy enters with Bet. Nancy: Bullseyes! Who wants a bullseye, then? Pickpocket 2: Them’s me favourites. Pickpocket 3: Mine too. Give them here, Nancy, I’ll share them out! (All the gang gathers round Nancy, receiving and sucking bullseyes and laughing and joking – except Oliver, who is over near Fagin and watching) Fagin: (Removing chest from corner )

This is my private treasure. My little pleasure! Just have a quick count up. (Rubbing his hands together) I mean, who’s going to look after me in my old age. (Glances round as if looking for someone, and notices Oliver) Why are you watching me? Speak out! I want to know every detail you saw!

Oliver: I’m sorry, sir. Fagin: Did you see where I fetched the box? Oliver: I don’t think so, sir. Fagin: Be sure. Be sure! Oliver: Quite sure, sir. Fagin: Well……. if you’re sure.. Oliver: So I’m sure. Fagin: Knew it all along. Didn’t mean to frighten you. Brave boy, Oliver. Did you see

any of those pretty things? Oliver: Yes, sir. Fagin: They’re mine, Oliver. My little treasures. All I’ve got to live on in my old age.

Go over see what the others are doing then. (Oliver turns away and Fagin returns the chest) Nancy: Oh, here you are, boys. Go and share them! Pickpocket 2: Great, Nancy, thanks! Artful Dodger: Ah the ladies! They must meet our new boy. Nancy and Bet: What we got here? Fagin: Ladies, I forgot, you must meet our new lodger, Mr. Oliver Twist, esquire. These

ladies, Oliver, are Nancy and her young friend, Bet Oliver: (bowing) charmed. Artful Dodger: Oh, yes we’re all ladies and gentlemen here. We’re all quality. Nancy: Don’t take any notice of them ‘cause you’ve got manners and they ain’t. Artful Dodger: What do you mean I ain’t got no manners? I’m a regular gent. Look, allow me to

assist you across the road. Bet: I was just orf to the palace. Doorman if you please….

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Artful Dodger: Allow me the privilege to (h)escort you in me own carriage…..

Pickpockets make carriage using umbrellas and reins Bet: Oh, Sir Artful, you are too kind.

[DODGER (sung)] I'll do anything For you dear anything For you mean everything to me. I know that I'll go anywhere For your smile, anywhere -- For your smile, ev'rywhere -- I'd see. [NANCY] Would you climb a hill? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Wear a daffodil? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Leave me all your will? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Even fight my Bill? [DODGER] What? Fisticuffs? I'd risk everything For one kiss -- everything Yes, I'd do anything... [NANCY] Anything?! [DODGER] Anything for you!! [NANCY (spoken)] 'Ere now, Oliver, you just copy Dodger and I'll help you out with the words, alright? So it's "I'll do anything" [OLIVER (sung)] I'll do anything [NANCY (spoken)] For you dear [OLIVER (sung)] For you dear, anything

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[NANCY (spoken)] For you mean [OLIVER (sung)] For you mean everything to me [NANCY (spoken)] Ah, that's lovely. [OLIVER] I know that I'd go anywhere For your smile, anywhere -- For your smile, everywhere I'd see [BET] Would you lace my shoe? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Paint your face bright blue? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Catch a kangaroo? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Go to Timbuktu? [OLIVER] And back again! I'd risk ev'rything For one kiss -- everything -- Yes, I'd do anything [BET] Anything?! [OLIVER] Anything for you!! [DODGER (spoken)] Dance, Nancy. [NANCY (spoken)] Oh, alright, Dodge. C'mon boys! 1-2-3... [FAGIN] Would you rob a shop? [ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] Would you risk the "drop"?

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[ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] Tho' your eyes go, 'pop' [ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] When you come down 'plop' [ALL] Hang ev'rything! We'd risk life and limb To keep you in the swim Yes, we'd do anything... [FAGIN] Anything?! [ALL] Anything for you. sung by pickpocket chorus, Nancy, Bet, Oliver and Dodger

Fagin: Enough already. Get to work then! No argument. There’s fine pickings. Get out,

earn your keep. Nancy: Fagin, I’m waiting. Fagin: Waiting my dear? What for? Nancy: Bill will give you ‘what for’ if you don’t fork out. Hand over. Start counting. Fagin: (counting out some money) Don’t rush me! You and your Bill will be the ruin of

me, between you! Here, take it, I’ll starve. Me and the boys will live on air until I find a customer.

Nancy: Yeah, yeah, heartless, that’s what I am. Come on Bet. Bet: Ta-ra kids. Pickpockets All Bye, Nancy, bye Bet Exit Nancy and Bet Artful Dodger: Fagin, young Oliver wants to come out to work with me and the boys. Oliver: Can I, please? Fagin: Would you, my boy? Why not? You’ve got to start somewhere……and you

couldn’t do it in better company. – Look after him, Dodger. Artful Dodger: Time we were off. Fagin: Good luck Oliver, on your first job. I’ll be waiting for you when you get back. Fagin: Line up! Artful Dodger: Line up! Fagin: Single file!

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Artful Dodger: Single file!

Fagin: Quick march! Artful Dodger: Left! Fagin: Right! (Dodger and Shadow leads he boys in single file off round and offstage) Fagin: You can go but be back soon

You can go but while you’re working This place I’m pacing ‘round until you’re home safe and sound Fare thee well, but be back soon Who can tell where danger’s lurking Do not forget this tune Be back soon

Pickpockets: How could we forget, how could we let

our dear old Fagin worry We love him so we’ll come back home In such a great big hurry It’s him that pays the piper It’s us that calls the tune So long, fare thee well, pip pip cheerio, we’ll be back soon

(Pickpockets move out into the audience and collect prepared hankies)Lights fade

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Scene 7— Streets of London Lights up (The streets are busy and milling with people and traders (whole school)) (Oliver and Artful Dodger and some pickpockets are milling through the throngs — Pickpockets and Dodger are “eyeing up” likely candidates and spot Mr Brownlow whom they rob, and they run off leaving the shocked Oliver, who now realises that his new friends are pickpockets, to be blamed for looking guilty. Mr Brownlow: Give that back, you hear? Give that back! Come along. Come along! Stop that boy!

Thief! My wallet! Stop that boy! Hold that boy! Stop! Stop! Thief! (Policeman enter stage right, whistle blowing) Policeman: Stop that lad! Stop, thief! Pickpockets and Dodger: Leave him to us! - Stole the gent’s wallet. We’ll catch him! (Running and being

followed by the crowd and a policeman) Pickpocket 1: He went that way! (The chase continues and despite pickpockets and Dodger’s

attempts — Oliver is caught) Policeman: Can you identify this boy as the thief, sir? Mr Brownlow: Yes. Well, I saw him running away. Policeman: That’s it lad, you are nabbed — up before the beak in the morning! Won’t be for the

first time, I’m sure! Pickpocket 1: We better get back, Dodger, and let Fagin know what’s happening! Pickpocket 2: Yes, better! I don’t want to be the one to tell him! Exit Dodger and pickpockets

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Scene 8— Back at Fagin ‘s (with the pickpockets, Bill Sykes and Nancy) Artful Dodger: It’s Oliver, Fagin. He’s been nabbed by the police! Fagin: (shaking Dodger) Nabbed! Couldn’t you have got him out of it, and back with you? Artful Dodger: How could I help it? Fagin: A fine thing! Oliver in the lockup. In the morning he’s in front of the beak! Bill Sykes: For pinching a wallet. So he goes to jail. What’s it matter? Fagin: I’m afraid he may say something which will get us into trouble. Bill Sykes: That’s very likely. Fagin: And I’m afraid, you see... that if the game was up with us... it might be up with a

good many more. And it would come out rather worse for you... than it would for me.

Bill Sykes: Why, you miserable... sneaking, treacherous old... (threatening with fist) Nancy: No, Bill! Bill Sykes: You go down to that court in the morning and find out what happens! Fagin : (panicking) Me! Go to Court? With a magistrate sitting there? Nancy: I’ll go. They won’t know me. Fagin: Good girl. Clever girl. And if he does talk, you come and tell us quick. Quick!

‘Cause then we’ll have to look after ourselves, won’t we? Bill Sykes: (wickedly) You won’t have to look after yourself, Fagin, ‘cause I’ll look after you!

Believe me! Believe me. Fagin: I always believe you, Bill. Right Nancy, see you tomorrow outside the court, to see

what happens Exit Nancy Lights fade

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Scene 9 – same place, later. Bill, Fagin and Dodger come forward. Lights come up again Enter Nancy Nancy: He didn’t talk. The case was dismissed. Fagin: What a great judge. Fetch the boy! Nancy: I’ve done my share! Anyhows, Mr Brownlow is taking him to live with him to make

amends for accusing him in the first place. Fagin: Dodger, find him — He can still blab. Dodger, don’t lose him. (Lights fade as Dodger dashes off)

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Scene 10— outside Brownlow’s house (Lights up again and - Street Traders passing by Brownlow’s posh house with Oliver at the window)

The Mrs. Bedwin Trio as street sellers: Who will buy my sweet red roses Two blooms for a penny Who will buy my sweet red roses Two blooms for a penny Will you buy any milk today Mistress Any milk today, mistress Will you buy my sweet red roses Any milk today, mistress Two blooms for a penny Ripe strawberries, ripe Ripe strawberries, ripe Any milk today, mistress Will you buy my sweet red roses Ripe strawberries, ripe Any milk today, mistress Any knives to grind Who will buy Who will buy Who will buy This wonderful morning Such a sky you never did see Who will buy my sweet red roses Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me Ripe strawberries, ri~pe So I could see it at my leisure Whenever things go wrong And I would keep it as a treasure To last my whole life long Any milk today Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly Knives to grind Ripe strawberries, ripe Me, oh my, I don’t want to lose it So what am Ito do to keep the sky so blue There must be someone Who will buy Toy windmills, onions, knives to grind Ballads, white turnips, oranges Who will buy Who will buy this wonderful morning Such a sky you never did see Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me There’ll never be a day so sunny It could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly Me, oh my, I don’t want to lose it So what am I do to to keep the sky so blue

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There must be someone who will buy There’ll never be a day so sunny I know it could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price At half the price Who will buy this wonderful morning Makes you feel you’re walking on air Every tree and flower is singing How fortunate are we to be alive to see The dawning of a day so fair Bye-bye, lullaby Bye-bye, lullaby Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly What a sky, a heavenly ceiling inviting you to come and buy There’ll never be a day so sunny It could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price Who will buy this wonderful morning Such a sky you never did see Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me There’ll never be a day so sunny It could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly Me, oh my, I don’t want to lose it So what am to do to keep the sky so blue There must be someone who will buy Buy, buy

(All off to the sides) (Dodger and Bill Sykes are standing watching Oliver from side/window) Bill Sykes:(Moving across stage right to left)

We’ve got to get him back. Do you hear? Nab him the first time he sets foot out of the door.

Nancy: He never goes out alone. You know that. Bill Sykes: Three days since I spotted him. And what have you done about it? Nothing! We’ve

got to get hold of him somehow. Now, who’s coming? Artful Dodger: I suppose it’ll have to be me. Fagin: You be quiet, Dodger, you’ve caused enough trouble already. Bill Sykes: It’s got to be done quiet, no fuss. Someone who has the boy’s confidence Fagin: Nancy, my dear, what do you say? Nancy: It’s no good trying it with me. I’m not going. Can’t you leave the boy alone. He

won’t do you harm. Why can’t you leave him where he’ll have the chance of a decent life?

Bill Sykes: You’ll bring him back here, my girl. Unless you want that I never speak to you

again.... Fagin: Nancy, my dear We must have that boy brought back. If he talked, think what

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would happen to us. Think what would happen to Bill. It would be the gallows for him. The drop! You wouldn’t want that to happen, would you, my dear? Not to your Bill.

Bill Sykes: She’ll go Fagin! Even if I have to drag her there myself. (exit)

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Scene 11 Nancy and Bet

As long As he needs me Oh yes He does need me In spite of what you see I’m sure That he needs me Who else would love him still When they’ve been used so ill He knows I always will As long as he Needs me I miss him so much When he is gone But when he’s near me I don’t let on The way I feel inside The love I have to hide

(Messenger knocks at Mr Brownlow ‘s door) (Widow Corney answers the door) Messenger: Books from Mr. Jessop’s Book Shop. Mr Brownlow not got any to go back? They’re

usually left on the table there. No, nothing! Okay Widow Corney: Thank you. Messenger: Thank you, and good bye! Widow Corney: (Calling to Mr Brownlow) Please, sir, these books came for you. Mr Brownlow: (Coming through door) Good. Get the boy to wait; there are some to go back! Oliver: (moving into stage) (maid also looking for boy)- The boy’s gone. Can I take them? I

know where the shop is. Please let me take them! I’ll be very quick. Mr Brownlow: All right! Here are the books! Now, you take them to Mr Jessop — you have come

to pay the four pounds that I owe him! Here’s a five pound note, so there’ll be a pound change — okay? (Oliver sets off happily)

Widow Corney: Nice clothes, valuable books and five pounds — and you expect him to come back?

If he does I’ll eat my head, with my hat on it! Look at the portrait. Do you see the likeness to the lad — that’s your niece in’t it?

Mr Brownlow: A young, innocent face. Nothing more. A mere coincidence. Widow Corney: I’m not sure. Oliver thinks he was born in Dunstable — that not where she went? Mr Brownlow: Hmm I’m not sure. (They go offstage left as Oliver skipping down the road

singing Who will buy this wonderful morning) Nancy: Morning. Oliver: Morning. (Not looking and continuing....)

Such a sky you never did see Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me

Oliver: (Suddenly realising what is happening as Nancy grabs him and leads him off!) Help!

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Help! Nancy: Come here! Come with me! No shouting out now! (Dragging him off. They circle

round and arrive back at Fagin’s den) Light s dim

26

Scene 12 Fagin ‘s Den Lights up Pickpocket 1 Oliver’s back! - Look at his togs! Pickpocket 2: He’s got boots, too. Quite the little gent. Fagin: Delighted to see you looking so well, my dear. The Dodger will give you another

suit for fear you spoil that Sunday one. (Dodger wandering round Oliver “measuring up his suit and boots then finds the money) Artful Dodger: Look at this! I’ll bank it for you. Fagin: What’s that? Oliver: That’s mine! Fagin: No, no, my dear. Mine. Ours. You shall have the books. Oliver: You hand that over! Fagin: That is for our share of the trouble. You keep the books —

have a ball, start a library!!! Oliver: Mr. Brownlow will be here after you if he finds out...

you’ve got his books and money. Fagin: So he’ll be after us will he? What did you tell him about us? Bill Sykes: I’ll wager that young rat’s told him everything. (Looking to Oliver who is being

taken offstage right by Dodger and Nancy) What did you tell him? Oliver: Nothing, but he will still come after you for taking me! Bill Sykes: You better not have, or it’ll be the worse for you! Fagin: Leave it till morning, Sykes, all will work out! Let’s get some shut-eye! (Fagin and Bill Sykes go offstage) Scene 13— Narrator at Brownlow’s house Narrator: (stepping forward) Meanwhile, back at Mr Brownlow’ s, a letter has been sent to Mr Bumble, who has

decided to come straight down to London, to meet with the gentleman. Mr Bumble shows Mr Brownlow the locket which had belonged to Oliver’s mother

Mr Brownlow: Good of you to come, Bumble. Mr Bumble: No problem, sir. Be glad to help you find out any family tie. Perhaps there would be

a small reward involved? This small locket was found by the wife, after the poor lady died, you know. Sir, this is the locket.

Mr Brownlow: I can recognize that at once. I gave that very locket to my niece Emily on her

twentieth birthday. She is now dead, you say, and that is why Oliver ended up in your workhouse. Oliver, must be my great nephew! He is the only living family I have left! I need to find that boy!

Nancy: (Enters stage right- running) You’ll be Mr Brownlow, will you? (Brownlow nods)

Right, I’ve come about Oliver.. well, about the boy, he’s in danger. He was dragged off the day you sent him out with the books.

Mr Brownlow: Who took him?

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Nancy: Me and someone else. Mr Brownlow: You took him by force? Nancy: Yes! I wish I’d never been part of it? Mr Brownlow: Where is he now? Who is this other person you speak of? Can you take me to him?

Tell me where he is! Nancy: I can’t! But I’ll bring him to you! Not here. It’s too far! Mr Brownlow: Where then? Nancy: London Bridge, tonight at midnight, but you’ve got to come alone. Promise you’ll

come on your own! Promise, please promise! Mr Brownlow: You can trust me! I’ll be on my own, midnight. Is he hurt? Has he been mis-treated? Nancy: Got to go, now! I can’t say no more. Please! Mr Brownlow: Who is this other person? Nancy: I won’t tell! You wouldn’t understand. I’ve got to go back! I want to go back! Just

promise you will come? Mr Brownlow: You have my word!

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Scene 14 – The Bridge (Midnight is striking as Nancy and Oliver enter stage right and Brownlow enters stage left) Mr Brownlow: Many thanks, my dear, glad to see you Oliver (Nancy pushes Oliver forward looking

around in fear and goes offstage right) (Talking to Oliver) It turns out we are related! Come on let’s get you home, safe and sound for a warm bath and a good, long sleep! Many thanks, again, my dear!

Oliver: (Shouting back)Many, many thanks, Nancy. I will never forget you! (Fagin Stage right to sing as much as needed to fill stage with reception for next scene)

Fagin: as whole cast file on to stage Can somebody change It’s possible Maybe it’s strange But it’s possible All my dearest companions and treasures I’ve left them behind I’ll turn a leaf over And who can tell What I may find

Whole cast: Oom-pah-pah, Oom-pah-pah That’s how it goes Oom-pah-pah, Oom-pah-pah Everyone knows They all suppose what they want to suppose When they hear Oom-pah-pah When they hear Oom-pah-pah Oom-pah-pah, Oom-pah-pah Repeat

1

‘Oliver’

Whole School coming through audience banging on plates and spoons. All: Is it worth the waiting for? If we live 'til eighty four All we ever get is gru...el! Ev'ry day we say our prayer -- Will they change the bill of fare? Still we get the same old gru...el! There is not a cust, not a crumb can we find, Can we beg, can we borrow, or cadge, But there's nothing to stop us from getting a thrill When we all close our eyes and imag...ine Food, glorious food! Hot sausage and mustard! While we're in the mood -- Cold jelly and custard! Pease pudding and saveloys! What next is the question? Rich gentlemen have it, boys -- In-di-gestion! Food, glorious food! We're anxious to try it. Three banquets a day -- Our favourite diet! Just picture a great big steak -- Fried, roasted or stewed. Oh, food, Wonderful food, Marvellous food, Glorious food. Food, glorious food! Don't care what it looks like -- Burned! Underdone! Crude! Don't care what the cook's like. Just thinking of growing fat -- Our senses go reeling One moment of knowing that Full-up feeling! Food, glorious food! What wouldn't we give for That extra bit more -- That's all that we live for

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Why should we be fated to Do nothing but brood On food, Magical food, Wonderful food, Marvellous food, Fabulous food, Beautiful food, Glorious food

Mr. Bumble: For what you’re about to receive may the lord make you truly thankful – amen (2

bangs of staff, 1st to raise spoons, 2nd to start eating)

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Scene 1 – Orphan’s workhouse dining room 1st Orphan: Go on. Go on. Oliver: Please, sir, I want some more. Mr. Bumble: What? Oliver: Please, sir…. I want some more! Mr. Bumble: More? More? What do you mean, more? (moving towards Oliver as Oliver takes off,

chase around stage as……)

Orphan Chorus: - Catch him! - Snatch him! - Hold him! - Scold him! - Pounce him, trounce him! - Pick him up and bounce him!

(Mr. Bumble catching Oliver and swinging him around to face audience.) Mr. Bumble: Wait! Before we take the lad to task may I be so curious as to ask his name? Orphan Chorus or 2nd Orphan: Oliver Twist, Mr. Bumble. You named him yourself. (Oliver and Bumble come

forward) Mr. Bumble: So that’s what he’s called. Clear stage. Only Oliver, Mr. Bumble and chorus to remain.

Oliver, Oliver Never before has a boy wanted more Oliver, Oliver Won't ask for more when he knows what's in store There's a dark, thin winding stairway without any banistair Which we'll throw him down and feed him the cockroaches served in a canister Oliver, Oliver What will he do when he's turned black and blue He will rule the day somebody named him Ol-i-ver Oliver, Oliver Never before has a boy wanted more Oliver, Oliver Won't ask for more when he knows what's in store There's a long, thin winding stairway without any banister Which we'll throw him down and feed him the cockroaches served in a canister Oliver, Oliver What heavens pray will the governors say They will lay the blame on the one who named him Ol-i-ver

Mr. Bumble: To bed, all, we shall deal with ‘Oliver’ in the morning. (ushering boys to beds at

side of stage)

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Scene 2 – Bedtime Orphan Chorus: There’s Oliver! (tauntingly) Where’s your mother, orphan boy? Oliver: You leave my mother out of this, she’s dead. 1st Child: What she die of? Shortage of breath? Oliver: You better not say anything about her to me! 2nd Child: Don’t you be cheeky, workhouse! 1st Child: Your mother, she was really unkind! Oliver: (growing angry and raising fists) If you can’t say anything nice, then please say

nothing at all! 2nd Child: (mockingly) Oh, listen to you, goody two shoes!

Where is love? Does it fall from skies above? Is it underneath the willow tree That I've been dreaming of? Where is she? Who I close my eyes to see? Will I ever know the sweet "hello" That's only meant for me? Who can say where she may hide? Must I travel far and wide? 'Til I am beside the someone who I can mean something to ... Where...? Where is love? Who can say where...she may hide? Must I travel...far and wide? 'Til I am beside...the someone who I can mean...something to... Where? Where is love?

Oliver: That’s it! I’m getting out of here! I’m off to London, I’ll find my fortune there! Lights down

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Scene 3 Dodger enter and stand stage left Lights up:– The streets of London Oliver: (Enter stage right looking bewildered until he sees Dodger) Please help me.

Please! Artful Dodger: What you starin’ at? Haven’t you never seen a toff before? Oliver: No, never. I’m sorry, I didn’t……….. Artful Dodger: That’s alright. You hungry? Oliver: Yes I am. I’ve come a long way. I’ve been walking for seven days. Artful Dodger: Been escaping the beak? Oliver: The what? Artful Dodger: Don’t say you don’t know what the beak is? Oliver: It’s a bird’s mouth, isn’t it? Artful Dodger: My eyes! How green can you get? For your information a beak is a magistrate,

the long arm of the law. Who are you running from then? Your old man? Oliver: No, I’m an orphan. I’ve come to London to make my fortune. Artful Dodger: Oh you have, have you? Got any lodgings? Any money? Oliver: Not a farthing. Do you live in London? Artful Dodger: I suppose you want some place to sleep tonight, eh? Let’s walk. (Oliver and

Dodger begin to walk) Oliver: Do you know of anywhere? Artful Dodger: As it happens, I know a respectable old gentleman. He’ll give you lodgings for

nothing. Oliver: Really? He must be very kind. Artful Dodger: Oh yes, he’s very kind. And I’m a particular favourite of his. Well if you’re

coming along I’d better know who you are. Oliver: My name is Oliver. Oliver Twist. Artful Dodger: Mine’s Jack Dawkins……better known among me more intimate friends as The

Artful Dodger.

Enter Chorus (bring on washing line of coloured handkerchiefs)

DODGER (spoken)] So, Oliver Twist, you're coming with me. [OLIVER (spoken)] Are you sure Mr. Fagin won't mind? [DODGER (spoken)] Mind?! Consider yourself at home. Consider yourself one of the family. We've taken to you so strong. It's clear we're going to get along.

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Consider yourself well in Consider yourself par to the furniture. There isn't a lot to spare. Who cares?..What ever we've goin we share! If it should chance to be We should see Some harder days Empty larder days Why grouse? Always a-chance we'll meet Somebody To foot the bill Then the drinks are on the house! Consider yourself our mate. We don't want to have no fuss, For after some consideration, we can state... Consider yourself One of us! Consider yourself... At home? Consider yourself... One of the family We've taken to you So strong It's clear...we're... Going to get along Consider yourself... Well in! Consider yourself... Part of the furniture There isn't a lot to spare Who cares? Whatever we got we share Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity-- There a cup-o'-tea for all. Only it's wise to be handy wiv a rolling pin When the landlord comes to call! Consider yourself Our mate. We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration we can sate Consider yourself Yes! One of us! Consider yourself at home... We've taken to you so strong. Consider yourself well in... There isn't a lot to spare If it should chance to be We should see Some harder days Empty larder days -- Why grouse? Always a chance we'll meet Somebody To food the bill --

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Then the drinks are on the house! Consider yourself our mate. We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration, we can state... Consider yourself... One of us! Consider yourself At home. We've taken to you So strong Consider yourself Well in. There isn't a lot to spare. Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity. There's a cup-o'-tea for all Only it's wise to be handy wiv a rolling pin When the landlord comes to call Consider yourself our mate We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself One of us... For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself... One of us! If it should chance to be We should see some harder days, Empty larder days, Why grouse? Always a chance we'll meet Somebody to foot the bill. Then the drinks are on the house. Consider yourself at home. Consider yourself one of the family. We've taken to you so strong. It's clear we're going to get along. Consider yourself well in. Consider yourself part of the furniture. There isn't a lot to spare. Who cares? Whatever we've got we share. If it should chance to be We should see some harder days, Empty larder days, Why grouse? Always a chance we'll meet Somebody to foot the bill. Then the drinks are on the house. Consider yourself our mate. We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself... One of us!! Lights down

8

9

Scene 4 – Fagin;’s Den Enter Fagin. Lights Up

Pickpocket 1: Hi! Dodger Artful Dodger: Like to introduce a new chum, Oliver. (walking through pickpockets, saying

hello, hiya, until they reach Fagin) Hey Fagin, I’ve brought a new friend to meet you. His name’s Oliver Twist.

Oliver: Sir, I hope I shall have the honour of your acquaintance. Fagin: We are very glad to see you, Oliver. Aren’t we, my dears? Pickpockets All - Of course we are! Fagin: Dodger, take off those sausages! Charlie, lay a place at the table for Mr. Twist.

The Dodger tells me you come to London….. to seek your fortune. Oliver: Yes sir. Fagin: Well we must see what we can do to help you. Mustn’t we? Oliver: Thank you sir. Pickpocket 2 He’s so kind. Pickpocket 3 These sausages are mouldy! Pickpocket 1 That’s how well he looks after us. Fagin: Be quiet and eat your supper! (Turning to Oliver) You staring at the pocket

handkerchiefs, eh my dear? We hung them up to dry, that’s all. Oliver: Is this a laundry then sir? Pickpocket 2: This is no laundry, mate! Fagin: Not, exactly my boy. I suppose a laundry would be a very nice thing indeed. But

our line of business pays a little better, don’t it boys? You see Oliver…… Fagin: (beginning to sing)

In this life One thing counts In the bank, large amounts. I’m afraid these don’t grow on trees, You’ve got to pick a pocket or two, boys, You’ve got to pick a pocket or two. Large amounts don’t grow on trees, You’ve got to pick a pocket or two.

Fagin: Let’s show Oliver how to do it. Just a game, Oliver, just a game. (While the

song continues, pick pockets move about picking handkerchiefs from each other. Have a couple planted in the audience)

FAGIN (spoken)] You see, Oliver... [sung] In this life, one thing counts In the bank, large amounts I'm afraid these don't grow on trees, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

10

Large amounts don't grow on trees. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN (spoken)] Let's show Oliver how it's done, shall we, my dears? [sung] Why should we break our backs Stupidly paying tax? Better get some untaxed income Better to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. Why should we all break our backs? Better pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN (spoken)] Who says crime doesn't pay? [sung] Robin Hood, what a crook! Gave away, what he took. Charity's fine, subscribe to mine. Get out and pick-a-pocket or two You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. Robin Hood was far too good He had to pick-a-pocket or two. Take a tip from Bill Sikes He can whip what he likes. I recall, he started small He had to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. We can be like old Bill Sikes If we pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN (spoken)] Stop thief! Dear old gent passing by Something nice takes his eye Everything's clear, attack the rear Get in and pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. Have no fear, attack the rear Get in and pick-a-pocket or two. When I see someone rich, Both my thumbs start to itch Only to find some peace of mind We have to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

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Just to find some peace of mind We have to pick-a-pocket or two!

Fagin: Put them all back in the box, all of them! (Beckons to pickpocket 1) Come here

(takes loot) Good boy. What a crook. We’ve all been hard at work today, haven’t we my dears? What have you got Dodger?

Artful Dodger: Couple of wallets. Fagin: Lined? Artful Dodger: Only the best! Fagin: Not as heavy as they might be….but very nicely made. – Ingenious workman

isn’t he, Oliver? Oliver: Does he make them himself? Fagin: With his very own hands, would you like to learn how? Oliver: Yes, Mr. Fagin, if you’ll teach me? Fagin: Certainly my boy, no fee, just do everything that dodger and the other boys do.

Make them your models! Especially Dodger. He’s going to be a right little Bill Sykes.

Oliver: Who’s Bill Sykes Mr. Fagin? Fagin: He’s a very clever gentleman. You’ll meet him tomorrow maybe. Now, is it

possible perchance that my handkerchief is protruding from my pocket? Oliver: I can see the edge. Fagin: Can you? Then see if you can take it out……without me feeling it, like you saw

the others do. (Oliver pulls the handkerchief from the pocket) (singing) You’ve got to pick a pocket or two….. Is it gone?

Oliver: Yes, Mr. Fagin. Look. Fagin: That’s a surprise, I must say! You’re a clever boy, Oliver! I never saw a sharper

lad. Here’s a shilling for you. (All rushing forward for shillings only to be disappointed) I have to go to the bank. Now bedtime all of you! There’s a hard day’s work ahead!

Oliver: Where do I sleep, sir? Fagin: Over here, my boy. Settle down now. Dodger, take off that hat in bed — where

are your manners? Here you go my lad. If you go on the way you started, you will be. . . the greatest man of all time. Sweet dreams, Oliver. Sweet dreams.

Oliver: Good night, sir.

(All settle for the night and lights fade)

Fagin: You’ve got to pick a pocket or two Boys You’ve got to pick a pocket Or two

Lights dim, chorus, Oliver and Dodger leave stage. Fagin steps forward.

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Scene 5— Outside Fagin ‘s (Lights coming up again to indicate morning)Enter Nancy

Nancy: Is he here? Mr Sykes. Did he come yet? Fagin: Your man should be here, soon, Nancy — out on a job no doubt. Nancy: How’s business? Nice and brisk? Fagin: Can’t complain, can’t complain.

(Enter Bill Sykes with loot stage)

Fagin:

Here you are then, Bill! A good night?

(Nancy and Fagin have a look at the loot)

Nancy:

Beautiful! Beautiful! You did well, Bill!

Bill:

What you give me for it then, Fagin?

Fagin:

I don’t carry cash in the dark, Bill. Not with all those robbers and thieves lurking in the alleyways — you never knows who’s out and about.

Bill Sykes:

Okay then. You price it up and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Fagin: See you later then! I could be done with some sleep. Nancy: Ok then, Fagin, see you tomorrow. Fagin: Yep, see you then. (Lights fade as Fagin moves forward, then come up to indicate morning)

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Scene 6 – Outside Fagin’s Den Pickpockets washing and tidying themselves as Nancy enters with Bet. Nancy: Bullseyes! Who wants a bullseye, then? Pickpocket 2: Them’s me favourites. Pickpocket 3: Mine too. Give them here, Nancy, I’ll share them out! (All the gang gathers round Nancy, receiving and sucking bullseyes and laughing and joking – except Oliver, who is over near Fagin and watching) Fagin: (Removing chest from corner )

This is my private treasure. My little pleasure! Just have a quick count up. (Rubbing his hands together) I mean, who’s going to look after me in my old age. (Glances round as if looking for someone, and notices Oliver) Why are you watching me? Speak out! I want to know every detail you saw!

Oliver: I’m sorry, sir. Fagin: Did you see where I fetched the box? Oliver: I don’t think so, sir. Fagin: Be sure. Be sure! Oliver: Quite sure, sir. Fagin: Well……. if you’re sure.. Oliver: So I’m sure. Fagin: Knew it all along. Didn’t mean to frighten you. Brave boy, Oliver. Did you see

any of those pretty things? Oliver: Yes, sir. Fagin: They’re mine, Oliver. My little treasures. All I’ve got to live on in my old age.

Go over see what the others are doing then. (Oliver turns away and Fagin returns the chest) Nancy: Oh, here you are, boys. Go and share them! Pickpocket 2: Great, Nancy, thanks! Artful Dodger: Ah the ladies! They must meet our new boy. Nancy and Bet: What we got here? Fagin: Ladies, I forgot, you must meet our new lodger, Mr. Oliver Twist, esquire. These

ladies, Oliver, are Nancy and her young friend, Bet Oliver: (bowing) charmed. Artful Dodger: Oh, yes we’re all ladies and gentlemen here. We’re all quality. Nancy: Don’t take any notice of them ‘cause you’ve got manners and they ain’t. Artful Dodger: What do you mean I ain’t got no manners? I’m a regular gent. Look, allow me to

assist you across the road. Bet: I was just orf to the palace. Doorman if you please….

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Artful Dodger: Allow me the privilege to (h)escort you in me own carriage…..

Pickpockets make carriage using umbrellas and reins Bet: Oh, Sir Artful, you are too kind.

[DODGER (sung)] I'll do anything For you dear anything For you mean everything to me. I know that I'll go anywhere For your smile, anywhere -- For your smile, ev'rywhere -- I'd see. [NANCY] Would you climb a hill? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Wear a daffodil? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Leave me all your will? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Even fight my Bill? [DODGER] What? Fisticuffs? I'd risk everything For one kiss -- everything Yes, I'd do anything... [NANCY] Anything?! [DODGER] Anything for you!! [NANCY (spoken)] 'Ere now, Oliver, you just copy Dodger and I'll help you out with the words, alright? So it's "I'll do anything" [OLIVER (sung)] I'll do anything [NANCY (spoken)] For you dear [OLIVER (sung)] For you dear, anything

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[NANCY (spoken)] For you mean [OLIVER (sung)] For you mean everything to me [NANCY (spoken)] Ah, that's lovely. [OLIVER] I know that I'd go anywhere For your smile, anywhere -- For your smile, everywhere I'd see [BET] Would you lace my shoe? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Paint your face bright blue? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Catch a kangaroo? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Go to Timbuktu? [OLIVER] And back again! I'd risk ev'rything For one kiss -- everything -- Yes, I'd do anything [BET] Anything?! [OLIVER] Anything for you!! [DODGER (spoken)] Dance, Nancy. [NANCY (spoken)] Oh, alright, Dodge. C'mon boys! 1-2-3... [FAGIN] Would you rob a shop? [ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] Would you risk the "drop"?

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[ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] Tho' your eyes go, 'pop' [ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] When you come down 'plop' [ALL] Hang ev'rything! We'd risk life and limb To keep you in the swim Yes, we'd do anything... [FAGIN] Anything?! [ALL] Anything for you. sung by pickpocket chorus, Nancy, Bet, Oliver and Dodger

Fagin: Enough already. Get to work then! No argument. There’s fine pickings. Get out,

earn your keep. Nancy: Fagin, I’m waiting. Fagin: Waiting my dear? What for? Nancy: Bill will give you ‘what for’ if you don’t fork out. Hand over. Start counting. Fagin: (counting out some money) Don’t rush me! You and your Bill will be the ruin of

me, between you! Here, take it, I’ll starve. Me and the boys will live on air until I find a customer.

Nancy: Yeah, yeah, heartless, that’s what I am. Come on Bet. Bet: Ta-ra kids. Pickpockets All Bye, Nancy, bye Bet Exit Nancy and Bet Artful Dodger: Fagin, young Oliver wants to come out to work with me and the boys. Oliver: Can I, please? Fagin: Would you, my boy? Why not? You’ve got to start somewhere……and you

couldn’t do it in better company. – Look after him, Dodger. Artful Dodger: Time we were off. Fagin: Good luck Oliver, on your first job. I’ll be waiting for you when you get back. Fagin: Line up! Artful Dodger: Line up! Fagin: Single file!

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Artful Dodger: Single file!

Fagin: Quick march! Artful Dodger: Left! Fagin: Right! (Dodger and Shadow leads he boys in single file off round and offstage) Fagin: You can go but be back soon

You can go but while you’re working This place I’m pacing ‘round until you’re home safe and sound Fare thee well, but be back soon Who can tell where danger’s lurking Do not forget this tune Be back soon

Pickpockets: How could we forget, how could we let

our dear old Fagin worry We love him so we’ll come back home In such a great big hurry It’s him that pays the piper It’s us that calls the tune So long, fare thee well, pip pip cheerio, we’ll be back soon

(Pickpockets move out into the audience and collect prepared hankies)Lights fade

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Scene 7— Streets of London Lights up (The streets are busy and milling with people and traders (whole school)) (Oliver and Artful Dodger and some pickpockets are milling through the throngs — Pickpockets and Dodger are “eyeing up” likely candidates and spot Mr Brownlow whom they rob, and they run off leaving the shocked Oliver, who now realises that his new friends are pickpockets, to be blamed for looking guilty. Mr Brownlow: Give that back, you hear? Give that back! Come along. Come along! Stop that boy!

Thief! My wallet! Stop that boy! Hold that boy! Stop! Stop! Thief! (Policeman enter stage right, whistle blowing) Policeman: Stop that lad! Stop, thief! Pickpockets and Dodger: Leave him to us! - Stole the gent’s wallet. We’ll catch him! (Running and being

followed by the crowd and a policeman) Pickpocket 1: He went that way! (The chase continues and despite pickpockets and Dodger’s

attempts — Oliver is caught) Policeman: Can you identify this boy as the thief, sir? Mr Brownlow: Yes. Well, I saw him running away. Policeman: That’s it lad, you are nabbed — up before the beak in the morning! Won’t be for the

first time, I’m sure! Pickpocket 1: We better get back, Dodger, and let Fagin know what’s happening! Pickpocket 2: Yes, better! I don’t want to be the one to tell him! Exit Dodger and pickpockets

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Scene 8— Back at Fagin ‘s (with the pickpockets, Bill Sykes and Nancy) Artful Dodger: It’s Oliver, Fagin. He’s been nabbed by the police! Fagin: (shaking Dodger) Nabbed! Couldn’t you have got him out of it, and back with you? Artful Dodger: How could I help it? Fagin: A fine thing! Oliver in the lockup. In the morning he’s in front of the beak! Bill Sykes: For pinching a wallet. So he goes to jail. What’s it matter? Fagin: I’m afraid he may say something which will get us into trouble. Bill Sykes: That’s very likely. Fagin: And I’m afraid, you see... that if the game was up with us... it might be up with a

good many more. And it would come out rather worse for you... than it would for me.

Bill Sykes: Why, you miserable... sneaking, treacherous old... (threatening with fist) Nancy: No, Bill! Bill Sykes: You go down to that court in the morning and find out what happens! Fagin : (panicking) Me! Go to Court? With a magistrate sitting there? Nancy: I’ll go. They won’t know me. Fagin: Good girl. Clever girl. And if he does talk, you come and tell us quick. Quick!

‘Cause then we’ll have to look after ourselves, won’t we? Bill Sykes: (wickedly) You won’t have to look after yourself, Fagin, ‘cause I’ll look after you!

Believe me! Believe me. Fagin: I always believe you, Bill. Right Nancy, see you tomorrow outside the court, to see

what happens Exit Nancy Lights fade

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Scene 9 – same place, later. Bill, Fagin and Dodger come forward. Lights come up again Enter Nancy Nancy: He didn’t talk. The case was dismissed. Fagin: What a great judge. Fetch the boy! Nancy: I’ve done my share! Anyhows, Mr Brownlow is taking him to live with him to make

amends for accusing him in the first place. Fagin: Dodger, find him — He can still blab. Dodger, don’t lose him. (Lights fade as Dodger dashes off)

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Scene 10— outside Brownlow’s house (Lights up again and - Street Traders passing by Brownlow’s posh house with Oliver at the window)

The Mrs. Bedwin Trio as street sellers: Who will buy my sweet red roses Two blooms for a penny Who will buy my sweet red roses Two blooms for a penny Will you buy any milk today Mistress Any milk today, mistress Will you buy my sweet red roses Any milk today, mistress Two blooms for a penny Ripe strawberries, ripe Ripe strawberries, ripe Any milk today, mistress Will you buy my sweet red roses Ripe strawberries, ripe Any milk today, mistress Any knives to grind Who will buy Who will buy Who will buy This wonderful morning Such a sky you never did see Who will buy my sweet red roses Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me Ripe strawberries, ri~pe So I could see it at my leisure Whenever things go wrong And I would keep it as a treasure To last my whole life long Any milk today Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly Knives to grind Ripe strawberries, ripe Me, oh my, I don’t want to lose it So what am Ito do to keep the sky so blue There must be someone Who will buy Toy windmills, onions, knives to grind Ballads, white turnips, oranges Who will buy Who will buy this wonderful morning Such a sky you never did see Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me There’ll never be a day so sunny It could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly Me, oh my, I don’t want to lose it So what am I do to to keep the sky so blue

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There must be someone who will buy There’ll never be a day so sunny I know it could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price At half the price Who will buy this wonderful morning Makes you feel you’re walking on air Every tree and flower is singing How fortunate are we to be alive to see The dawning of a day so fair Bye-bye, lullaby Bye-bye, lullaby Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly What a sky, a heavenly ceiling inviting you to come and buy There’ll never be a day so sunny It could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price Who will buy this wonderful morning Such a sky you never did see Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me There’ll never be a day so sunny It could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly Me, oh my, I don’t want to lose it So what am to do to keep the sky so blue There must be someone who will buy Buy, buy

(All off to the sides) (Dodger and Bill Sykes are standing watching Oliver from side/window) Bill Sykes:(Moving across stage right to left)

We’ve got to get him back. Do you hear? Nab him the first time he sets foot out of the door.

Nancy: He never goes out alone. You know that. Bill Sykes: Three days since I spotted him. And what have you done about it? Nothing! We’ve

got to get hold of him somehow. Now, who’s coming? Artful Dodger: I suppose it’ll have to be me. Fagin: You be quiet, Dodger, you’ve caused enough trouble already. Bill Sykes: It’s got to be done quiet, no fuss. Someone who has the boy’s confidence Fagin: Nancy, my dear, what do you say? Nancy: It’s no good trying it with me. I’m not going. Can’t you leave the boy alone. He

won’t do you harm. Why can’t you leave him where he’ll have the chance of a decent life?

Bill Sykes: You’ll bring him back here, my girl. Unless you want that I never speak to you

again.... Fagin: Nancy, my dear We must have that boy brought back. If he talked, think what

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would happen to us. Think what would happen to Bill. It would be the gallows for him. The drop! You wouldn’t want that to happen, would you, my dear? Not to your Bill.

Bill Sykes: She’ll go Fagin! Even if I have to drag her there myself. (exit)

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Scene 11 Nancy and Bet

As long As he needs me Oh yes He does need me In spite of what you see I’m sure That he needs me Who else would love him still When they’ve been used so ill He knows I always will As long as he Needs me I miss him so much When he is gone But when he’s near me I don’t let on The way I feel inside The love I have to hide

(Messenger knocks at Mr Brownlow ‘s door) (Widow Corney answers the door) Messenger: Books from Mr. Jessop’s Book Shop. Mr Brownlow not got any to go back? They’re

usually left on the table there. No, nothing! Okay Widow Corney: Thank you. Messenger: Thank you, and good bye! Widow Corney: (Calling to Mr Brownlow) Please, sir, these books came for you. Mr Brownlow: (Coming through door) Good. Get the boy to wait; there are some to go back! Oliver: (moving into stage) (maid also looking for boy)- The boy’s gone. Can I take them? I

know where the shop is. Please let me take them! I’ll be very quick. Mr Brownlow: All right! Here are the books! Now, you take them to Mr Jessop — you have come

to pay the four pounds that I owe him! Here’s a five pound note, so there’ll be a pound change — okay? (Oliver sets off happily)

Widow Corney: Nice clothes, valuable books and five pounds — and you expect him to come back?

If he does I’ll eat my head, with my hat on it! Look at the portrait. Do you see the likeness to the lad — that’s your niece in’t it?

Mr Brownlow: A young, innocent face. Nothing more. A mere coincidence. Widow Corney: I’m not sure. Oliver thinks he was born in Dunstable — that not where she went? Mr Brownlow: Hmm I’m not sure. (They go offstage left as Oliver skipping down the road

singing Who will buy this wonderful morning) Nancy: Morning. Oliver: Morning. (Not looking and continuing....)

Such a sky you never did see Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me

Oliver: (Suddenly realising what is happening as Nancy grabs him and leads him off!) Help!

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Help! Nancy: Come here! Come with me! No shouting out now! (Dragging him off. They circle

round and arrive back at Fagin’s den) Light s dim

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Scene 12 Fagin ‘s Den Lights up Pickpocket 1 Oliver’s back! - Look at his togs! Pickpocket 2: He’s got boots, too. Quite the little gent. Fagin: Delighted to see you looking so well, my dear. The Dodger will give you another

suit for fear you spoil that Sunday one. (Dodger wandering round Oliver “measuring up his suit and boots then finds the money) Artful Dodger: Look at this! I’ll bank it for you. Fagin: What’s that? Oliver: That’s mine! Fagin: No, no, my dear. Mine. Ours. You shall have the books. Oliver: You hand that over! Fagin: That is for our share of the trouble. You keep the books —

have a ball, start a library!!! Oliver: Mr. Brownlow will be here after you if he finds out...

you’ve got his books and money. Fagin: So he’ll be after us will he? What did you tell him about us? Bill Sykes: I’ll wager that young rat’s told him everything. (Looking to Oliver who is being

taken offstage right by Dodger and Nancy) What did you tell him? Oliver: Nothing, but he will still come after you for taking me! Bill Sykes: You better not have, or it’ll be the worse for you! Fagin: Leave it till morning, Sykes, all will work out! Let’s get some shut-eye! (Fagin and Bill Sykes go offstage) Scene 13— Narrator at Brownlow’s house Narrator: (stepping forward) Meanwhile, back at Mr Brownlow’ s, a letter has been sent to Mr Bumble, who has

decided to come straight down to London, to meet with the gentleman. Mr Bumble shows Mr Brownlow the locket which had belonged to Oliver’s mother

Mr Brownlow: Good of you to come, Bumble. Mr Bumble: No problem, sir. Be glad to help you find out any family tie. Perhaps there would be

a small reward involved? This small locket was found by the wife, after the poor lady died, you know. Sir, this is the locket.

Mr Brownlow: I can recognize that at once. I gave that very locket to my niece Emily on her

twentieth birthday. She is now dead, you say, and that is why Oliver ended up in your workhouse. Oliver, must be my great nephew! He is the only living family I have left! I need to find that boy!

Nancy: (Enters stage right- running) You’ll be Mr Brownlow, will you? (Brownlow nods)

Right, I’ve come about Oliver.. well, about the boy, he’s in danger. He was dragged off the day you sent him out with the books.

Mr Brownlow: Who took him?

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Nancy: Me and someone else. Mr Brownlow: You took him by force? Nancy: Yes! I wish I’d never been part of it? Mr Brownlow: Where is he now? Who is this other person you speak of? Can you take me to him?

Tell me where he is! Nancy: I can’t! But I’ll bring him to you! Not here. It’s too far! Mr Brownlow: Where then? Nancy: London Bridge, tonight at midnight, but you’ve got to come alone. Promise you’ll

come on your own! Promise, please promise! Mr Brownlow: You can trust me! I’ll be on my own, midnight. Is he hurt? Has he been mis-treated? Nancy: Got to go, now! I can’t say no more. Please! Mr Brownlow: Who is this other person? Nancy: I won’t tell! You wouldn’t understand. I’ve got to go back! I want to go back! Just

promise you will come? Mr Brownlow: You have my word!

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Scene 14 – The Bridge (Midnight is striking as Nancy and Oliver enter stage right and Brownlow enters stage left) Mr Brownlow: Many thanks, my dear, glad to see you Oliver (Nancy pushes Oliver forward looking

around in fear and goes offstage right) (Talking to Oliver) It turns out we are related! Come on let’s get you home, safe and sound for a warm bath and a good, long sleep! Many thanks, again, my dear!

Oliver: (Shouting back)Many, many thanks, Nancy. I will never forget you! (Fagin Stage right to sing as much as needed to fill stage with reception for next scene)

Fagin: as whole cast file on to stage Can somebody change It’s possible Maybe it’s strange But it’s possible All my dearest companions and treasures I’ve left them behind I’ll turn a leaf over And who can tell What I may find

Whole cast: Oom-pah-pah, Oom-pah-pah That’s how it goes Oom-pah-pah, Oom-pah-pah Everyone knows They all suppose what they want to suppose When they hear Oom-pah-pah When they hear Oom-pah-pah Oom-pah-pah, Oom-pah-pah Repeat

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‘Oliver’

Whole School coming through audience banging on plates and spoons. All: Is it worth the waiting for? If we live 'til eighty four All we ever get is gru...el! Ev'ry day we say our prayer -- Will they change the bill of fare? Still we get the same old gru...el! There is not a cust, not a crumb can we find, Can we beg, can we borrow, or cadge, But there's nothing to stop us from getting a thrill When we all close our eyes and imag...ine Food, glorious food! Hot sausage and mustard! While we're in the mood -- Cold jelly and custard! Pease pudding and saveloys! What next is the question? Rich gentlemen have it, boys -- In-di-gestion! Food, glorious food! We're anxious to try it. Three banquets a day -- Our favourite diet! Just picture a great big steak -- Fried, roasted or stewed. Oh, food, Wonderful food, Marvellous food, Glorious food. Food, glorious food! Don't care what it looks like -- Burned! Underdone! Crude! Don't care what the cook's like. Just thinking of growing fat -- Our senses go reeling One moment of knowing that Full-up feeling! Food, glorious food! What wouldn't we give for That extra bit more -- That's all that we live for

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Why should we be fated to Do nothing but brood On food, Magical food, Wonderful food, Marvellous food, Fabulous food, Beautiful food, Glorious food

Mr. Bumble: For what you’re about to receive may the lord make you truly thankful – amen (2

bangs of staff, 1st to raise spoons, 2nd to start eating)

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Scene 1 – Orphan’s workhouse dining room 1st Orphan: Go on. Go on. Oliver: Please, sir, I want some more. Mr. Bumble: What? Oliver: Please, sir…. I want some more! Mr. Bumble: More? More? What do you mean, more? (moving towards Oliver as Oliver takes off,

chase around stage as……)

Orphan Chorus: - Catch him! - Snatch him! - Hold him! - Scold him! - Pounce him, trounce him! - Pick him up and bounce him!

(Mr. Bumble catching Oliver and swinging him around to face audience.) Mr. Bumble: Wait! Before we take the lad to task may I be so curious as to ask his name? Orphan Chorus or 2nd Orphan: Oliver Twist, Mr. Bumble. You named him yourself. (Oliver and Bumble come

forward) Mr. Bumble: So that’s what he’s called. Clear stage. Only Oliver, Mr. Bumble and chorus to remain.

Oliver, Oliver Never before has a boy wanted more Oliver, Oliver Won't ask for more when he knows what's in store There's a dark, thin winding stairway without any banistair Which we'll throw him down and feed him the cockroaches served in a canister Oliver, Oliver What will he do when he's turned black and blue He will rule the day somebody named him Ol-i-ver Oliver, Oliver Never before has a boy wanted more Oliver, Oliver Won't ask for more when he knows what's in store There's a long, thin winding stairway without any banister Which we'll throw him down and feed him the cockroaches served in a canister Oliver, Oliver What heavens pray will the governors say They will lay the blame on the one who named him Ol-i-ver

Mr. Bumble: To bed, all, we shall deal with ‘Oliver’ in the morning. (ushering boys to beds at

side of stage)

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Scene 2 – Bedtime Orphan Chorus: There’s Oliver! (tauntingly) Where’s your mother, orphan boy? Oliver: You leave my mother out of this, she’s dead. 1st Child: What she die of? Shortage of breath? Oliver: You better not say anything about her to me! 2nd Child: Don’t you be cheeky, workhouse! 1st Child: Your mother, she was really unkind! Oliver: (growing angry and raising fists) If you can’t say anything nice, then please say

nothing at all! 2nd Child: (mockingly) Oh, listen to you, goody two shoes!

Where is love? Does it fall from skies above? Is it underneath the willow tree That I've been dreaming of? Where is she? Who I close my eyes to see? Will I ever know the sweet "hello" That's only meant for me? Who can say where she may hide? Must I travel far and wide? 'Til I am beside the someone who I can mean something to ... Where...? Where is love? Who can say where...she may hide? Must I travel...far and wide? 'Til I am beside...the someone who I can mean...something to... Where? Where is love?

Oliver: That’s it! I’m getting out of here! I’m off to London, I’ll find my fortune there! Lights down

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Scene 3 Dodger enter and stand stage left Lights up:– The streets of London Oliver: (Enter stage right looking bewildered until he sees Dodger) Please help me.

Please! Artful Dodger: What you starin’ at? Haven’t you never seen a toff before? Oliver: No, never. I’m sorry, I didn’t……….. Artful Dodger: That’s alright. You hungry? Oliver: Yes I am. I’ve come a long way. I’ve been walking for seven days. Artful Dodger: Been escaping the beak? Oliver: The what? Artful Dodger: Don’t say you don’t know what the beak is? Oliver: It’s a bird’s mouth, isn’t it? Artful Dodger: My eyes! How green can you get? For your information a beak is a magistrate,

the long arm of the law. Who are you running from then? Your old man? Oliver: No, I’m an orphan. I’ve come to London to make my fortune. Artful Dodger: Oh you have, have you? Got any lodgings? Any money? Oliver: Not a farthing. Do you live in London? Artful Dodger: I suppose you want some place to sleep tonight, eh? Let’s walk. (Oliver and

Dodger begin to walk) Oliver: Do you know of anywhere? Artful Dodger: As it happens, I know a respectable old gentleman. He’ll give you lodgings for

nothing. Oliver: Really? He must be very kind. Artful Dodger: Oh yes, he’s very kind. And I’m a particular favourite of his. Well if you’re

coming along I’d better know who you are. Oliver: My name is Oliver. Oliver Twist. Artful Dodger: Mine’s Jack Dawkins……better known among me more intimate friends as The

Artful Dodger.

Enter Chorus (bring on washing line of coloured handkerchiefs)

DODGER (spoken)] So, Oliver Twist, you're coming with me. [OLIVER (spoken)] Are you sure Mr. Fagin won't mind? [DODGER (spoken)] Mind?! Consider yourself at home. Consider yourself one of the family. We've taken to you so strong. It's clear we're going to get along.

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Consider yourself well in Consider yourself par to the furniture. There isn't a lot to spare. Who cares?..What ever we've goin we share! If it should chance to be We should see Some harder days Empty larder days Why grouse? Always a-chance we'll meet Somebody To foot the bill Then the drinks are on the house! Consider yourself our mate. We don't want to have no fuss, For after some consideration, we can state... Consider yourself One of us! Consider yourself... At home? Consider yourself... One of the family We've taken to you So strong It's clear...we're... Going to get along Consider yourself... Well in! Consider yourself... Part of the furniture There isn't a lot to spare Who cares? Whatever we got we share Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity-- There a cup-o'-tea for all. Only it's wise to be handy wiv a rolling pin When the landlord comes to call! Consider yourself Our mate. We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration we can sate Consider yourself Yes! One of us! Consider yourself at home... We've taken to you so strong. Consider yourself well in... There isn't a lot to spare If it should chance to be We should see Some harder days Empty larder days -- Why grouse? Always a chance we'll meet Somebody To food the bill --

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Then the drinks are on the house! Consider yourself our mate. We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration, we can state... Consider yourself... One of us! Consider yourself At home. We've taken to you So strong Consider yourself Well in. There isn't a lot to spare. Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity. There's a cup-o'-tea for all Only it's wise to be handy wiv a rolling pin When the landlord comes to call Consider yourself our mate We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself One of us... For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself... One of us! If it should chance to be We should see some harder days, Empty larder days, Why grouse? Always a chance we'll meet Somebody to foot the bill. Then the drinks are on the house. Consider yourself at home. Consider yourself one of the family. We've taken to you so strong. It's clear we're going to get along. Consider yourself well in. Consider yourself part of the furniture. There isn't a lot to spare. Who cares? Whatever we've got we share. If it should chance to be We should see some harder days, Empty larder days, Why grouse? Always a chance we'll meet Somebody to foot the bill. Then the drinks are on the house. Consider yourself our mate. We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself... One of us!! Lights down

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Scene 4 – Fagin;’s Den Enter Fagin. Lights Up

Pickpocket 1: Hi! Dodger Artful Dodger: Like to introduce a new chum, Oliver. (walking through pickpockets, saying

hello, hiya, until they reach Fagin) Hey Fagin, I’ve brought a new friend to meet you. His name’s Oliver Twist.

Oliver: Sir, I hope I shall have the honour of your acquaintance. Fagin: We are very glad to see you, Oliver. Aren’t we, my dears? Pickpockets All - Of course we are! Fagin: Dodger, take off those sausages! Charlie, lay a place at the table for Mr. Twist.

The Dodger tells me you come to London….. to seek your fortune. Oliver: Yes sir. Fagin: Well we must see what we can do to help you. Mustn’t we? Oliver: Thank you sir. Pickpocket 2 He’s so kind. Pickpocket 3 These sausages are mouldy! Pickpocket 1 That’s how well he looks after us. Fagin: Be quiet and eat your supper! (Turning to Oliver) You staring at the pocket

handkerchiefs, eh my dear? We hung them up to dry, that’s all. Oliver: Is this a laundry then sir? Pickpocket 2: This is no laundry, mate! Fagin: Not, exactly my boy. I suppose a laundry would be a very nice thing indeed. But

our line of business pays a little better, don’t it boys? You see Oliver…… Fagin: (beginning to sing)

In this life One thing counts In the bank, large amounts. I’m afraid these don’t grow on trees, You’ve got to pick a pocket or two, boys, You’ve got to pick a pocket or two. Large amounts don’t grow on trees, You’ve got to pick a pocket or two.

Fagin: Let’s show Oliver how to do it. Just a game, Oliver, just a game. (While the

song continues, pick pockets move about picking handkerchiefs from each other. Have a couple planted in the audience)

FAGIN (spoken)] You see, Oliver... [sung] In this life, one thing counts In the bank, large amounts I'm afraid these don't grow on trees, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

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Large amounts don't grow on trees. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN (spoken)] Let's show Oliver how it's done, shall we, my dears? [sung] Why should we break our backs Stupidly paying tax? Better get some untaxed income Better to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. Why should we all break our backs? Better pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN (spoken)] Who says crime doesn't pay? [sung] Robin Hood, what a crook! Gave away, what he took. Charity's fine, subscribe to mine. Get out and pick-a-pocket or two You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. Robin Hood was far too good He had to pick-a-pocket or two. Take a tip from Bill Sikes He can whip what he likes. I recall, he started small He had to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. We can be like old Bill Sikes If we pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN (spoken)] Stop thief! Dear old gent passing by Something nice takes his eye Everything's clear, attack the rear Get in and pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. Have no fear, attack the rear Get in and pick-a-pocket or two. When I see someone rich, Both my thumbs start to itch Only to find some peace of mind We have to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.

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Just to find some peace of mind We have to pick-a-pocket or two!

Fagin: Put them all back in the box, all of them! (Beckons to pickpocket 1) Come here

(takes loot) Good boy. What a crook. We’ve all been hard at work today, haven’t we my dears? What have you got Dodger?

Artful Dodger: Couple of wallets. Fagin: Lined? Artful Dodger: Only the best! Fagin: Not as heavy as they might be….but very nicely made. – Ingenious workman

isn’t he, Oliver? Oliver: Does he make them himself? Fagin: With his very own hands, would you like to learn how? Oliver: Yes, Mr. Fagin, if you’ll teach me? Fagin: Certainly my boy, no fee, just do everything that dodger and the other boys do.

Make them your models! Especially Dodger. He’s going to be a right little Bill Sykes.

Oliver: Who’s Bill Sykes Mr. Fagin? Fagin: He’s a very clever gentleman. You’ll meet him tomorrow maybe. Now, is it

possible perchance that my handkerchief is protruding from my pocket? Oliver: I can see the edge. Fagin: Can you? Then see if you can take it out……without me feeling it, like you saw

the others do. (Oliver pulls the handkerchief from the pocket) (singing) You’ve got to pick a pocket or two….. Is it gone?

Oliver: Yes, Mr. Fagin. Look. Fagin: That’s a surprise, I must say! You’re a clever boy, Oliver! I never saw a sharper

lad. Here’s a shilling for you. (All rushing forward for shillings only to be disappointed) I have to go to the bank. Now bedtime all of you! There’s a hard day’s work ahead!

Oliver: Where do I sleep, sir? Fagin: Over here, my boy. Settle down now. Dodger, take off that hat in bed — where

are your manners? Here you go my lad. If you go on the way you started, you will be. . . the greatest man of all time. Sweet dreams, Oliver. Sweet dreams.

Oliver: Good night, sir.

(All settle for the night and lights fade)

Fagin: You’ve got to pick a pocket or two Boys You’ve got to pick a pocket Or two

Lights dim, chorus, Oliver and Dodger leave stage. Fagin steps forward.

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Scene 5— Outside Fagin ‘s (Lights coming up again to indicate morning)Enter Nancy

Nancy: Is he here? Mr Sykes. Did he come yet? Fagin: Your man should be here, soon, Nancy — out on a job no doubt. Nancy: How’s business? Nice and brisk? Fagin: Can’t complain, can’t complain.

(Enter Bill Sykes with loot stage)

Fagin:

Here you are then, Bill! A good night?

(Nancy and Fagin have a look at the loot)

Nancy:

Beautiful! Beautiful! You did well, Bill!

Bill:

What you give me for it then, Fagin?

Fagin:

I don’t carry cash in the dark, Bill. Not with all those robbers and thieves lurking in the alleyways — you never knows who’s out and about.

Bill Sykes:

Okay then. You price it up and I’ll see you tomorrow.

Fagin: See you later then! I could be done with some sleep. Nancy: Ok then, Fagin, see you tomorrow. Fagin: Yep, see you then. (Lights fade as Fagin moves forward, then come up to indicate morning)

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Scene 6 – Outside Fagin’s Den Pickpockets washing and tidying themselves as Nancy enters with Bet. Nancy: Bullseyes! Who wants a bullseye, then? Pickpocket 2: Them’s me favourites. Pickpocket 3: Mine too. Give them here, Nancy, I’ll share them out! (All the gang gathers round Nancy, receiving and sucking bullseyes and laughing and joking – except Oliver, who is over near Fagin and watching) Fagin: (Removing chest from corner )

This is my private treasure. My little pleasure! Just have a quick count up. (Rubbing his hands together) I mean, who’s going to look after me in my old age. (Glances round as if looking for someone, and notices Oliver) Why are you watching me? Speak out! I want to know every detail you saw!

Oliver: I’m sorry, sir. Fagin: Did you see where I fetched the box? Oliver: I don’t think so, sir. Fagin: Be sure. Be sure! Oliver: Quite sure, sir. Fagin: Well……. if you’re sure.. Oliver: So I’m sure. Fagin: Knew it all along. Didn’t mean to frighten you. Brave boy, Oliver. Did you see

any of those pretty things? Oliver: Yes, sir. Fagin: They’re mine, Oliver. My little treasures. All I’ve got to live on in my old age.

Go over see what the others are doing then. (Oliver turns away and Fagin returns the chest) Nancy: Oh, here you are, boys. Go and share them! Pickpocket 2: Great, Nancy, thanks! Artful Dodger: Ah the ladies! They must meet our new boy. Nancy and Bet: What we got here? Fagin: Ladies, I forgot, you must meet our new lodger, Mr. Oliver Twist, esquire. These

ladies, Oliver, are Nancy and her young friend, Bet Oliver: (bowing) charmed. Artful Dodger: Oh, yes we’re all ladies and gentlemen here. We’re all quality. Nancy: Don’t take any notice of them ‘cause you’ve got manners and they ain’t. Artful Dodger: What do you mean I ain’t got no manners? I’m a regular gent. Look, allow me to

assist you across the road. Bet: I was just orf to the palace. Doorman if you please….

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Artful Dodger: Allow me the privilege to (h)escort you in me own carriage…..

Pickpockets make carriage using umbrellas and reins Bet: Oh, Sir Artful, you are too kind.

[DODGER (sung)] I'll do anything For you dear anything For you mean everything to me. I know that I'll go anywhere For your smile, anywhere -- For your smile, ev'rywhere -- I'd see. [NANCY] Would you climb a hill? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Wear a daffodil? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Leave me all your will? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Even fight my Bill? [DODGER] What? Fisticuffs? I'd risk everything For one kiss -- everything Yes, I'd do anything... [NANCY] Anything?! [DODGER] Anything for you!! [NANCY (spoken)] 'Ere now, Oliver, you just copy Dodger and I'll help you out with the words, alright? So it's "I'll do anything" [OLIVER (sung)] I'll do anything [NANCY (spoken)] For you dear [OLIVER (sung)] For you dear, anything

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[NANCY (spoken)] For you mean [OLIVER (sung)] For you mean everything to me [NANCY (spoken)] Ah, that's lovely. [OLIVER] I know that I'd go anywhere For your smile, anywhere -- For your smile, everywhere I'd see [BET] Would you lace my shoe? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Paint your face bright blue? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Catch a kangaroo? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Go to Timbuktu? [OLIVER] And back again! I'd risk ev'rything For one kiss -- everything -- Yes, I'd do anything [BET] Anything?! [OLIVER] Anything for you!! [DODGER (spoken)] Dance, Nancy. [NANCY (spoken)] Oh, alright, Dodge. C'mon boys! 1-2-3... [FAGIN] Would you rob a shop? [ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] Would you risk the "drop"?

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[ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] Tho' your eyes go, 'pop' [ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] When you come down 'plop' [ALL] Hang ev'rything! We'd risk life and limb To keep you in the swim Yes, we'd do anything... [FAGIN] Anything?! [ALL] Anything for you. sung by pickpocket chorus, Nancy, Bet, Oliver and Dodger

Fagin: Enough already. Get to work then! No argument. There’s fine pickings. Get out,

earn your keep. Nancy: Fagin, I’m waiting. Fagin: Waiting my dear? What for? Nancy: Bill will give you ‘what for’ if you don’t fork out. Hand over. Start counting. Fagin: (counting out some money) Don’t rush me! You and your Bill will be the ruin of

me, between you! Here, take it, I’ll starve. Me and the boys will live on air until I find a customer.

Nancy: Yeah, yeah, heartless, that’s what I am. Come on Bet. Bet: Ta-ra kids. Pickpockets All Bye, Nancy, bye Bet Exit Nancy and Bet Artful Dodger: Fagin, young Oliver wants to come out to work with me and the boys. Oliver: Can I, please? Fagin: Would you, my boy? Why not? You’ve got to start somewhere……and you

couldn’t do it in better company. – Look after him, Dodger. Artful Dodger: Time we were off. Fagin: Good luck Oliver, on your first job. I’ll be waiting for you when you get back. Fagin: Line up! Artful Dodger: Line up! Fagin: Single file!

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Artful Dodger: Single file!

Fagin: Quick march! Artful Dodger: Left! Fagin: Right! (Dodger and Shadow leads he boys in single file off round and offstage) Fagin: You can go but be back soon

You can go but while you’re working This place I’m pacing ‘round until you’re home safe and sound Fare thee well, but be back soon Who can tell where danger’s lurking Do not forget this tune Be back soon

Pickpockets: How could we forget, how could we let

our dear old Fagin worry We love him so we’ll come back home In such a great big hurry It’s him that pays the piper It’s us that calls the tune So long, fare thee well, pip pip cheerio, we’ll be back soon

(Pickpockets move out into the audience and collect prepared hankies)Lights fade

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Scene 7— Streets of London Lights up (The streets are busy and milling with people and traders (whole school)) (Oliver and Artful Dodger and some pickpockets are milling through the throngs — Pickpockets and Dodger are “eyeing up” likely candidates and spot Mr Brownlow whom they rob, and they run off leaving the shocked Oliver, who now realises that his new friends are pickpockets, to be blamed for looking guilty. Mr Brownlow: Give that back, you hear? Give that back! Come along. Come along! Stop that boy!

Thief! My wallet! Stop that boy! Hold that boy! Stop! Stop! Thief! (Policeman enter stage right, whistle blowing) Policeman: Stop that lad! Stop, thief! Pickpockets and Dodger: Leave him to us! - Stole the gent’s wallet. We’ll catch him! (Running and being

followed by the crowd and a policeman) Pickpocket 1: He went that way! (The chase continues and despite pickpockets and Dodger’s

attempts — Oliver is caught) Policeman: Can you identify this boy as the thief, sir? Mr Brownlow: Yes. Well, I saw him running away. Policeman: That’s it lad, you are nabbed — up before the beak in the morning! Won’t be for the

first time, I’m sure! Pickpocket 1: We better get back, Dodger, and let Fagin know what’s happening! Pickpocket 2: Yes, better! I don’t want to be the one to tell him! Exit Dodger and pickpockets

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Scene 8— Back at Fagin ‘s (with the pickpockets, Bill Sykes and Nancy) Artful Dodger: It’s Oliver, Fagin. He’s been nabbed by the police! Fagin: (shaking Dodger) Nabbed! Couldn’t you have got him out of it, and back with you? Artful Dodger: How could I help it? Fagin: A fine thing! Oliver in the lockup. In the morning he’s in front of the beak! Bill Sykes: For pinching a wallet. So he goes to jail. What’s it matter? Fagin: I’m afraid he may say something which will get us into trouble. Bill Sykes: That’s very likely. Fagin: And I’m afraid, you see... that if the game was up with us... it might be up with a

good many more. And it would come out rather worse for you... than it would for me.

Bill Sykes: Why, you miserable... sneaking, treacherous old... (threatening with fist) Nancy: No, Bill! Bill Sykes: You go down to that court in the morning and find out what happens! Fagin : (panicking) Me! Go to Court? With a magistrate sitting there? Nancy: I’ll go. They won’t know me. Fagin: Good girl. Clever girl. And if he does talk, you come and tell us quick. Quick!

‘Cause then we’ll have to look after ourselves, won’t we? Bill Sykes: (wickedly) You won’t have to look after yourself, Fagin, ‘cause I’ll look after you!

Believe me! Believe me. Fagin: I always believe you, Bill. Right Nancy, see you tomorrow outside the court, to see

what happens Exit Nancy Lights fade

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Scene 9 – same place, later. Bill, Fagin and Dodger come forward. Lights come up again Enter Nancy Nancy: He didn’t talk. The case was dismissed. Fagin: What a great judge. Fetch the boy! Nancy: I’ve done my share! Anyhows, Mr Brownlow is taking him to live with him to make

amends for accusing him in the first place. Fagin: Dodger, find him — He can still blab. Dodger, don’t lose him. (Lights fade as Dodger dashes off)

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Scene 10— outside Brownlow’s house (Lights up again and - Street Traders passing by Brownlow’s posh house with Oliver at the window)

The Mrs. Bedwin Trio as street sellers: Who will buy my sweet red roses Two blooms for a penny Who will buy my sweet red roses Two blooms for a penny Will you buy any milk today Mistress Any milk today, mistress Will you buy my sweet red roses Any milk today, mistress Two blooms for a penny Ripe strawberries, ripe Ripe strawberries, ripe Any milk today, mistress Will you buy my sweet red roses Ripe strawberries, ripe Any milk today, mistress Any knives to grind Who will buy Who will buy Who will buy This wonderful morning Such a sky you never did see Who will buy my sweet red roses Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me Ripe strawberries, ri~pe So I could see it at my leisure Whenever things go wrong And I would keep it as a treasure To last my whole life long Any milk today Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly Knives to grind Ripe strawberries, ripe Me, oh my, I don’t want to lose it So what am Ito do to keep the sky so blue There must be someone Who will buy Toy windmills, onions, knives to grind Ballads, white turnips, oranges Who will buy Who will buy this wonderful morning Such a sky you never did see Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me There’ll never be a day so sunny It could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly Me, oh my, I don’t want to lose it So what am I do to to keep the sky so blue

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There must be someone who will buy There’ll never be a day so sunny I know it could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price At half the price Who will buy this wonderful morning Makes you feel you’re walking on air Every tree and flower is singing How fortunate are we to be alive to see The dawning of a day so fair Bye-bye, lullaby Bye-bye, lullaby Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly What a sky, a heavenly ceiling inviting you to come and buy There’ll never be a day so sunny It could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price Who will buy this wonderful morning Such a sky you never did see Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me There’ll never be a day so sunny It could not happen twice Where is the man with all the money It’s cheap at half the price Who will buy this wonderful feeling I’m so high I swear I could fly Me, oh my, I don’t want to lose it So what am to do to keep the sky so blue There must be someone who will buy Buy, buy

(All off to the sides) (Dodger and Bill Sykes are standing watching Oliver from side/window) Bill Sykes:(Moving across stage right to left)

We’ve got to get him back. Do you hear? Nab him the first time he sets foot out of the door.

Nancy: He never goes out alone. You know that. Bill Sykes: Three days since I spotted him. And what have you done about it? Nothing! We’ve

got to get hold of him somehow. Now, who’s coming? Artful Dodger: I suppose it’ll have to be me. Fagin: You be quiet, Dodger, you’ve caused enough trouble already. Bill Sykes: It’s got to be done quiet, no fuss. Someone who has the boy’s confidence Fagin: Nancy, my dear, what do you say? Nancy: It’s no good trying it with me. I’m not going. Can’t you leave the boy alone. He

won’t do you harm. Why can’t you leave him where he’ll have the chance of a decent life?

Bill Sykes: You’ll bring him back here, my girl. Unless you want that I never speak to you

again.... Fagin: Nancy, my dear We must have that boy brought back. If he talked, think what

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would happen to us. Think what would happen to Bill. It would be the gallows for him. The drop! You wouldn’t want that to happen, would you, my dear? Not to your Bill.

Bill Sykes: She’ll go Fagin! Even if I have to drag her there myself. (exit)

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Scene 11 Nancy and Bet

As long As he needs me Oh yes He does need me In spite of what you see I’m sure That he needs me Who else would love him still When they’ve been used so ill He knows I always will As long as he Needs me I miss him so much When he is gone But when he’s near me I don’t let on The way I feel inside The love I have to hide

(Messenger knocks at Mr Brownlow ‘s door) (Widow Corney answers the door) Messenger: Books from Mr. Jessop’s Book Shop. Mr Brownlow not got any to go back? They’re

usually left on the table there. No, nothing! Okay Widow Corney: Thank you. Messenger: Thank you, and good bye! Widow Corney: (Calling to Mr Brownlow) Please, sir, these books came for you. Mr Brownlow: (Coming through door) Good. Get the boy to wait; there are some to go back! Oliver: (moving into stage) (maid also looking for boy)- The boy’s gone. Can I take them? I

know where the shop is. Please let me take them! I’ll be very quick. Mr Brownlow: All right! Here are the books! Now, you take them to Mr Jessop — you have come

to pay the four pounds that I owe him! Here’s a five pound note, so there’ll be a pound change — okay? (Oliver sets off happily)

Widow Corney: Nice clothes, valuable books and five pounds — and you expect him to come back?

If he does I’ll eat my head, with my hat on it! Look at the portrait. Do you see the likeness to the lad — that’s your niece in’t it?

Mr Brownlow: A young, innocent face. Nothing more. A mere coincidence. Widow Corney: I’m not sure. Oliver thinks he was born in Dunstable — that not where she went? Mr Brownlow: Hmm I’m not sure. (They go offstage left as Oliver skipping down the road

singing Who will buy this wonderful morning) Nancy: Morning. Oliver: Morning. (Not looking and continuing....)

Such a sky you never did see Who will tie it up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me

Oliver: (Suddenly realising what is happening as Nancy grabs him and leads him off!) Help!

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Help! Nancy: Come here! Come with me! No shouting out now! (Dragging him off. They circle

round and arrive back at Fagin’s den) Light s dim

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Scene 12 Fagin ‘s Den Lights up Pickpocket 1 Oliver’s back! - Look at his togs! Pickpocket 2: He’s got boots, too. Quite the little gent. Fagin: Delighted to see you looking so well, my dear. The Dodger will give you another

suit for fear you spoil that Sunday one. (Dodger wandering round Oliver “measuring up his suit and boots then finds the money) Artful Dodger: Look at this! I’ll bank it for you. Fagin: What’s that? Oliver: That’s mine! Fagin: No, no, my dear. Mine. Ours. You shall have the books. Oliver: You hand that over! Fagin: That is for our share of the trouble. You keep the books —

have a ball, start a library!!! Oliver: Mr. Brownlow will be here after you if he finds out...

you’ve got his books and money. Fagin: So he’ll be after us will he? What did you tell him about us? Bill Sykes: I’ll wager that young rat’s told him everything. (Looking to Oliver who is being

taken offstage right by Dodger and Nancy) What did you tell him? Oliver: Nothing, but he will still come after you for taking me! Bill Sykes: You better not have, or it’ll be the worse for you! Fagin: Leave it till morning, Sykes, all will work out! Let’s get some shut-eye! (Fagin and Bill Sykes go offstage) Scene 13— Narrator at Brownlow’s house Narrator: (stepping forward) Meanwhile, back at Mr Brownlow’ s, a letter has been sent to Mr Bumble, who has

decided to come straight down to London, to meet with the gentleman. Mr Bumble shows Mr Brownlow the locket which had belonged to Oliver’s mother

Mr Brownlow: Good of you to come, Bumble. Mr Bumble: No problem, sir. Be glad to help you find out any family tie. Perhaps there would be

a small reward involved? This small locket was found by the wife, after the poor lady died, you know. Sir, this is the locket.

Mr Brownlow: I can recognize that at once. I gave that very locket to my niece Emily on her

twentieth birthday. She is now dead, you say, and that is why Oliver ended up in your workhouse. Oliver, must be my great nephew! He is the only living family I have left! I need to find that boy!

Nancy: (Enters stage right- running) You’ll be Mr Brownlow, will you? (Brownlow nods)

Right, I’ve come about Oliver.. well, about the boy, he’s in danger. He was dragged off the day you sent him out with the books.

Mr Brownlow: Who took him?

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Nancy: Me and someone else. Mr Brownlow: You took him by force? Nancy: Yes! I wish I’d never been part of it? Mr Brownlow: Where is he now? Who is this other person you speak of? Can you take me to him?

Tell me where he is! Nancy: I can’t! But I’ll bring him to you! Not here. It’s too far! Mr Brownlow: Where then? Nancy: London Bridge, tonight at midnight, but you’ve got to come alone. Promise you’ll

come on your own! Promise, please promise! Mr Brownlow: You can trust me! I’ll be on my own, midnight. Is he hurt? Has he been mis-treated? Nancy: Got to go, now! I can’t say no more. Please! Mr Brownlow: Who is this other person? Nancy: I won’t tell! You wouldn’t understand. I’ve got to go back! I want to go back! Just

promise you will come? Mr Brownlow: You have my word!

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Scene 14 – The Bridge (Midnight is striking as Nancy and Oliver enter stage right and Brownlow enters stage left) Mr Brownlow: Many thanks, my dear, glad to see you Oliver (Nancy pushes Oliver forward looking

around in fear and goes offstage right) (Talking to Oliver) It turns out we are related! Come on let’s get you home, safe and sound for a warm bath and a good, long sleep! Many thanks, again, my dear!

Oliver: (Shouting back)Many, many thanks, Nancy. I will never forget you! (Fagin Stage right to sing as much as needed to fill stage with reception for next scene)

Fagin: as whole cast file on to stage Can somebody change It’s possible Maybe it’s strange But it’s possible All my dearest companions and treasures I’ve left them behind I’ll turn a leaf over And who can tell What I may find

Whole cast: Oom-pah-pah, Oom-pah-pah That’s how it goes Oom-pah-pah, Oom-pah-pah Everyone knows They all suppose what they want to suppose When they hear Oom-pah-pah When they hear Oom-pah-pah Oom-pah-pah, Oom-pah-pah Repeat