Mothering Experiences of Single Immigrant Mexican Mothers

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THESIS

CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY SAN J\1ARCOS

THESIS SIGNATURE PAGE

THESIS SUBlVIITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE

MASTER OF

ARTS IN SOCIOLOGICAL PRACTICE

TITLE: Sali Adelante: Mothering Experiences of Single, Immigrant, Mexican Mothers

AUTHOR(S): Daniela A. Carreon

DATE OF SUCCESSFUL DEFENSE: 05/07/2021

THE THESIS HAS BEEN ACCEPTED BY THE THESIS COMMITTEE IN

PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREtvlENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF

MASTER OF ARTS IN SOCIOLOGICAL PRACTICE

Theresa Suarez

Co:tv1:MITTEE CHAIR

Marisol Clark-Ibanez

COMMITTEE MEMBER

Christopher Bickel

COMMITTEE MEMBER

05/12/2021

DATE

05/13/2021

DATE

05/13/2021

DATE

COMMITTEE MEMBER SIGNATURE DATE

Salí Adelante – Mothering Experiences of Single Immigrant Mexican Mothers

Daniela A. Carreon

Master of Arts in Sociological Practice California State University San Marcos

Thesis Committee: Dr. Theresa Suarez

Dr. Marisol Clark-Ibañez Dr. Christopher Bickel

May 2021

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Table of Contents

DEDICATION............................................................................................................................... 3

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ......................................................................................................... 4

ABSTRACT ................................................................................................................................... 6

INTRODUCTION......................................................................................................................... 7

STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM .......................................................................................... 9

LITERATURE REVIEW .......................................................................................................... 13 Mexican Mothers, Mothering, and Motherhood ..................................................................................... 13 Mexican Mothers Sites of Knowledge ................................................................................................... 19 Feminization of Labor ............................................................................................................................ 21

THEORY ..................................................................................................................................... 24 Feminist & Empowered Mothering ........................................................................................................ 24

Mexicana Feminist Mothering ........................................................................................................... 25

METHODS .................................................................................................................................. 27 Methodological Approach ...................................................................................................................... 27 Participant Recruitment .......................................................................................................................... 30 Participant Profiles & Language ............................................................................................................. 30 Data Collection & Ethical Considerations .............................................................................................. 33 Data Analysis .......................................................................................................................................... 35

FINDINGS & DISCUSSION ..................................................................................................... 36 “Híjole, Es Bien Difícil En Ser Madre Soltera… Pero Si Se Puede” ..................................................... 37

“Tienes que ser la Mamá y el Papá Junto” – Absent Fathers ........................................................... 38 “Tenia que Trabajar de Doble” – Challenging the Masculinist Notion of Father as Economic Provider and Economic (Dis)Empowerment ..................................................................................... 45 “Tienes que Confiar” – Co-Mothering A Network of Collective Care .............................................. 53

“Y Con Respeto” – Cultural Knowledge as Valued Education .............................................................. 57 “Perdóname Pero Estaba Trabajando – Lingering Emotional Toll for “Not Being There” ................... 67

“¿Como lo Hice?” – El Orgullo de Ser Madre Soltera ..................................................................... 69

SIGNIFICANCE & RECOMMENDATIONS ......................................................................... 74

CONCLUSION ........................................................................................................................... 77

APPENDIX A – Interview Dates ............................................................................................... 80

APPENDIX B – Spanish Interview Questions ......................................................................... 81

APPENDIX C – English Interview Questions .......................................................................... 83

REFERENCES ............................................................................................................................ 85

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DEDICATION

Agradezco a las mamás poderosas y valientes por compartir sus historias conmigo.

Gracias por confiar en mí.

For when we are silent We are still afraid

So it is better to speak Remembering

We were never meant to survive

Audre Lorde, Litany for Survival

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS To my familia: Ma, Gracias por sus sacrificios, su paciencia, y su amor. Este tesis esta inspirado por sus esfuerzo en salir adelante como madre soltera. Eres poderosa. Tu quiero mucho Blue. Viri & Minna, Thank you for laying the foundation for me to succeed, for never doubting my ambitions and allowing me to grow and become the woman I am today. As I write this, I cannot imagine having better sisters than you two, strong and resilient. I hope your little sister has made you proud. I love you. Anthony & Emilio, Thank you for bringing me joy and laughter. I love you two immensely. To my beautiful, amazing, supportive friends: Danielle & Victoria, To the Pisces and Capricorn QUEENS, I cannot imagine life without y’all. Thank you for being my refuge, my solace, and my joy during difficult times. Thank you for always supporting me, listening to me, and growing with me. I cherish our friendship and cannot imagine how much more we are going to elevate together. I love you two so much. Laura, To my cohort colleague, thank you for all the laughter, kindness, and critical thought. Thank you for always welcoming a space to grow, to be unapologetically us. For all the drives to Plumeria (and the many more to come), to studying at Old Cal to Living Room to only spend the first hour… or more… catching up, chismeando, LOL it was all part of the process. You are such a joy in my life, and I am so glad we were able to experience MASP together. Love you lots bb. Sterling, “Who would have thought?” Thank you for teaching me what it means to be brave, for pushing me to be and do better. Thank you for being my friend, for all the headaches, laughter, thought provoking and at times random conversations, I love it all and wouldn’t change a thing. You have been such a light in my life, and hope we never stop learning from each other. I love you. Noe, Thank you for always being there. I am so glad we crossed paths as you have taught me to trust myself and others. Thank you for all the late-night study sessions at the library, for always being along for the ride. I know I can count on you for anything. Love you. Karla, To my lo-fi loving, Avatar and Korra obsessed, non-binary sibling, thank you for the vibes, for the laughter, I never knew I could love Taurus energy until I met you. You brought me so much peace throughout this past year. Love you. Vanessa, Kayli, & Sterling, To the MF ZOOM DREAM TEAM!!! Man… I don’t know how I would have been able to focus this past year without y’all. Thank you for keeping me accountable as the clock was ticking on this thesis. Surviving during a global pandemic was a bit more bearable knowing we were all in this together. Vanessa, thank you for your creativity, it is inspiring. Kayli, thank you for the laughter, I loved hearing the bar stories. Sterling, you always tried to keep us on track... thank you for trying, LOL.

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To my committee Dr. Suarez, Thank you for believing in me. Your patience, guidance, and flexibility has pushed me to become a better scholar. I am forever grateful for having the opportunity to work with you. Dr. Clark-Ibanez, Thank you for being an inspiring woman, I can only dream of one day becoming a professor like you. Thank you, Marisol, for challenging me to think of my research differently, I appreciated all the colorful feedback and “ah ha” moments you left me with. Thank you believing in my potential, from UndocuResearch to now. I will miss you dearly. Dr. Bickel, Bickel! I will never be able to thank you enough for all you have done for me for the past four years. I am a better writer, scholar, student, person because of you and I am so appreciative for having a mentor like you. Your spirit is so bright, and I am so happy you let me shine. To my academic support team Dr. Holling, I am so glad I enrolled in COMM 485, your teaching pedagogy and course material solidified my ambitions into pursuing a PhD. And I am so proud to say I will be attending your alma mater. Thank you for all your encouragement throughout the years. Floyd, I am so grateful to have a boss like you. Thank you for giving me the space to grow, to unlearn and relearn through the Cross-Cultural Center. I am so glad I was able to grow my framework of social justice under your guidance. Dr. Abumaye, What an honor it was being taught by you. I always loved hearing you say, “My Students!” to me and Laura whenever we would drop by your office hours or run into you around campus of a coffee shop. You always made us feel belonged and heard. You are such a gem, and I am so glad to have a mentor like you. Dr. Ali, You once told me, “Would you rather be intimidated or forgotten” and those words have never left my mind, as I keep moving up in this academic ladder I never want to be forgotten. Thank you. Dra. Lim, I cannot express my love for you Dra. Lim. I am the woman I am today because of your help, guidance, and nurturance. Thank you for all the ways you have helped me these past three years. I am a better daughter, sister, friend, and person because of you. Ohhhh and I have to thank myself, right? I DID IT. IT TOOK A VILLAGE and in moments where I felt so overwhelmed, stressed, and just depleted I had my friends, family, and community to fall back on. And I did it, the little girl who has always wanted to write a book now know she can… I am so proud of myself. Onto the Ph.D I go…

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ABSTRACT This study focuses on the mothering experiences of single, immigrant, Mexican mothers living in

North County San Diego, CA and highlights how their cultural and experiential knowledge,

resilience, and determination interrogate the social construction of motherhood and mothering

from their own perspectives The study is based on 10 qualitative semi-structured interviews as

testimonios in their native language. The findings encompass three core themes that expand a

theoretical framework for Mexicana Feminist Mothering. First, the social, emotional, and

economic difficulties of single motherhood and mothering are actively reinvented despite the

circumstances. Second, passing on cultural and linguistic knowledge to children is valued

education that enables their learning in primary school. Third, their identities evolve over the

course of raising children to adulthood.

Keywords: Single Mothers, Immigrant Mothers, Mexican Mothers, Cultural Knowledge, Testimonios, COVID-19,

Zoom Interviews, Informal Economy, Latina, Mexican, Motherhood, Mothering, Good Mothers, Family, Mexicana

Feminist Mothering.

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INTRODUCTION Francisca emigrated to the United States from Mexico at the age of 16, upon arrival she

had two sons, and by the time she was 29 she was a single mother of four children. She was

undocumented, knew little English and this complicated how she will navigate employment and

raising her children. Now at 47 years old she reminisces on the difficulty of being a single,

immigrant, Mexican mother.

“Es que yo no tenía suficiente comida. Entonces, los días que yo cocinaba... yo les dejaba comida de lo que hacía. Y luego yo me iba sin comer. O sea no me llevaba lonche a mi trabajo para lo que si se quedaba de comida se quedara ahí para cuando llegaran de la escuela, comieran entre yo llegara. Y yo me iba al trabajo sin comer. Entonces lo que yo hacía era… nos daban el café, jugo y pan gratis. Pues cuando yo llegaba al trabajo yo me hacía un café y comía dos panes de barra. Y a la hora de lunch, en ese tiempo que fue más duro para mí, yo limpiaba cuatros. Yo deseaba encontrarme las propinas que nos dejan en los cuatros y a veces no ganaba nada y a veces me agarraba 5 dólares, 10 dólares y no me la gastaba. Ese dinero lo juntaba para la gasolina, para un galón de leche o cosas así que necesitaba. Pero es lo que te hace ser madre es eso que prefieres quedarse sin comer para que tus hijos coman. Me entiendes? Esto es algo que los hijos deben valorar y valorar. Pero no se dan en cuenta. Pero es okay es parte de ser mama de que nosotros nos quedamos sin comer, ni comprarnos unos zapatos, comprarnos algo que nos gusta por estar pensando ‘Oh no puedo, no puedo gastarme esto, no puedo comprarme eso porque tengo que tener para la renta, para comprarles zapatos o ropa para la escuela.’ Entonces eso es el amor de madre. Es bien incondicional, es muy grande.” It’s because, I didn’t have enough food. Therefore, the days I would cook, I would leave them food. I would leave without eating. I wouldn’t take lunch to work so when they come home from school, they would food until I would get home. And I would go to work without eating. What I would do is… they would give us coffee, juice, and pastries for free, so I would eat those at work. During my lunch break, well during those times it was more difficult, I would clean rooms. I wanted to find tips, that guests would leave us, sometimes I’d make $5 or $10, and I wouldn’t spend it. I would use that money for gas, for a gallon of milk, or anything else I may need. But that is what makes you a mother, that you prefer to go without food so your children can eat. Do you understand? This is something children should cherish and value. But they don’t realize that. But it’s okay, it’s part of being a mother, that we do not eat, or buy ourselves shoes, or just anything that we would like, “Oh no I can’t, I can’t spend money on this, I can’t buy myself this because I have to pay the rent or buy the kids shoes or clothes for school.” So, that is the love of a mother. It is unconditional, it’s very big.

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Single, immigrant, Mexican mothers experienced heightened marginality due to gendered,

racialized, and economic disparities as this effect their mothering practices. Francisca, a mother

of four, testimonio embodies self-sacrifice, unconditional love, and hoping her children one day

understand what she did for them.

Single, immigrant, Mexican mothers in this study are tasked to overcome challenges of

single mothering. As structural and interpersonal barriers may hinder their mothering,

Francisca’s story illuminates the realities of single, immigrant, Mexican mothers in the United

States as they continuously find ways to overcome hardship and salir adelante. Francisca modes

of mothering divulge in self-sacrifice, prioritizing her children at times more than herself

(Kochuyt 2004). For Francisca the love of her children is her motivation, and her sacrifices

display devotional mothering. The purpose of this study is to understand the experiences of

single, immigrant, Mexican mothers as they are often rendered as invisible or deviant mothers.

The institution of motherhood imposes rules and regulations for mothers to abide to perceived

“good” mothering. Their marginalized identities of single, immigrant, and Mexican are deviant

as they fail institutions of family, citizenship and legality, and white-America. Therefore, they

are perceived as deviant mothers because they obscure the norm of motherhood. Mexican

mothers are chameleons, they adapt and shift to ever-changing circumstances and

unpredictability and are empowered by single motherhood. Within Mexican culture, mothers’

roles are gendered, and they are often the glue of the family as they serve as caregivers and

nurturers (Guttman 1996). Motherhood cannot be studied in isolation, their dominant identity as

a mother influence and exasperate oppression through their other non-dominant identities (Green

2015; Ayón el al. 2018)

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This research explores critical aspects that engender their mothering experience as

difficult. I investigate how single, immigrant, Mexican mothers (re)tell their mothering

experiences, how they (re)negotiate their identities and decision-making for themselves and their

children. The following questions guide my research: 1) What are the mothering experiences of

single, immigrant, Mexican mothers? 2) How do single, immigrant, Mexican mothers challenge

mothering ideals and (re)conceptualize mothering practices? 3) How do single, immigrant,

Mexican mothers navigate and negotiate the terrains of single motherhood and mothering?

STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM As of 2018, Mexicans comprise 25 percent of all immigrants in the United States

(Migration Policy Institute). They are the largest population of immigrants however experience

relentless discrimination and prejudice impacting the social structures of their well-being. There

are approximately 12 million immigrant women working in the United States, encompassing 7

percent of the total work force (U.S. Census). The largest population of the 7 percent (1.7

million) are low-wage immigrant women from Mexico (American Immigration Council 2015).

From there 882,663 Mexican immigrant women fill economically essential yet unjustly paid jobs

such as maids or housekeepers. Immigrant Mexican women (20.4 percent) earn poverty-level

wages ($11,770) which is higher than the poverty level (13.5 percent) of the United States as a

whole (American Immigration Council 2015). Since 1990 there has been a 2.1 million increase

of Hispanic families being led by single mothers (Duffin 2020), and in California 7.34 percent of

households are led by single mothers (U.S. Census). These numbers are based on cross-sectional

data, collected through statistical quantitative research, in which it does not fully reflect the

social realities of single, immigrant, Mexican mothers. Data from the U.S. Census does not

capture the unique and challenging experiences single, immigrant, Mexican mothers because

their experiences cannot be quantified.

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There are common misconceptions of single mothers, immigrant mothers, and Mexican

mothers, combining all identities creates a triple oppression. Misconceptions of single mothers

consist of failing to maintain a healthy and happy home by choosing to be single, therefore

children grow up in a “broken” home (May 2008). The stigma surrounding single motherhood

obstruct gender roles and values, such as machismo. Within the Mexican culture, machismo is

foundational in perceiving men as authoritative, protectors, and financial providers, whereas

Mexican women are selfless, do-it-all caretakers (Valiquette-Tessier 2018). The rise of single

motherhood has been considered a threat to the traditional two-parent household (Jones 2007).

Within the (re)construction of family, single mothers must bear both gender expectations and

roles and often fall short as they cannot partake in double duties of parenting.

Immigrant mothers are viewed as poor, uneducated, illegal, and criminals (Figueroa

2013). This renders immigrant mothers as unworthy of aid and are viewed as a public charge for

the government. Common stereotypes of Mexicans are subject to their productivity and labor

they are either read as lazy, job-stealers, or sneaky welfare mothers (Romero 2011; Silva-

Martinez 2016). Due to these misconceptions and racist stereotypes, single, immigrant, Mexican

mothers are perceived as deviant. How could they be good mothers? If these perceptions were

created for them to fail.

The nuclear family has been an institutional foundation of the United States ideals and

traditions and informs family practices and beliefs. The nuclear family is inadequate as a model

for all families as it underpins women to “keep [them] in a state of dependence” (Cunha 2012).

The trope of the nuclear family historically has racialized single female headed households of

Black women as underserving of government assistance as their instability is their fault

(Moynihan 1965). This stigma against Black single mothers transcends to other communities of

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women of color single mothers. It is presumed if single mothers are on welfare, they will never

become self-sufficient, and if single mothers become economically self-sufficient, they will not

need or find a man. Therefore, the state wants to keep single, immigrant, Mexican mother’s

deviant. Their behaviors and actions violate social norms, and the United States reinforces such

perceptions as they are not resources for single, immigrant, Mexican mothers to succeed. For the

reason the United States does not want them too, yet single, immigrant, Mexican mothers find

ways to succeed by embracing practices of “good” mothering encompass cultural traditions and

knowledge (Serrata 2020). Positioned within the margins, mothers must negotiate their modes of

mothering to contextualize their new identity, experiences, and expectations to embrace their

values whilst being seen as deviant within the ideals of motherhood in the United States.

The United States is an individualistic and capitalistic society, there are minimal

resources (childcare, employment, pathways to citizenship outside of marriage, education) for

single, immigrant, Mexican mothers due to their undesirability and unworthiness of help. The

concept of the nuclear family has been used against single mothers to describe them as

destructive to the development of a progressive family (Moynihan 1965). Furthermore, the

decline of nuclear families impedes the advancement of economic, political, and social equality

for single mothers (Moynihan 1965). The nuclear family paradigm in public policy has

historically framed single motherhood as “broken” although it does not reflect the reality of

contemporary family life, especially the lives of single immigrant Mexican mothers (Gerstel

2011). The welfare queen trope leaves Mexican women not wanting to seek government assistant

because it may affect their pathway to citizenship, or they are too prideful to ask for help as they

have internalized sentiments of women on welfare being a public charge. Additionally, there is a

common misconception of Mexican women and bearing too many children or arriving to the

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United States to secure citizenship through their “anchor babies,” this perception perpetuates

already harmful and xenophobic sentiments towards Mexican mothers as public charge and

criminals (Park 2011). As a result, single, immigrant, Mexican mothers are not seen as a group

worth investing in because of their deviance and consequently they are punished by not having

resources available to them. The lack of support government and familial support is the key

obstacle for single, immigrant, Mexican mothers.

What is absent from the literature is the mothering experiences and practices of single,

immigrant, Mexican mothers that differ from traditional American ideals of mothering (married,

heterosexual, child-centered, expert-guided, financially expensive) outside of a deficit-based

model. The distinctive stories, knowledge, and insight as single immigrant Mexican mothers are

overlooked. Furthermore, scholars have not studied the intersection of identities of these mothers

and the cultural influence and negotiations mother partake in to be “good” mothers and the

challenges they encounter that may hinder their mothering (absentee fathers, finances, childcare).

There is a greater need to understand the experiences of single, immigrant, Mexican mothers and

how their experiences shape their life trajectory (Lucero-Liu & Christensen, 2009).

Mothering practices of single, immigrant, Mexican mothers comes in different forms and

definitions; allowing space for mothers to shape their strategies of mothering. So then, why is it

difficult to (re)imagine mothering through the experiences of single, immigrant, Mexican

mothers? How do they enact, perform, become, and embrace mothering whilst perceived

deviance?

I explore how single, immigrant, Mexican mother learn to navigate and adapt to

unfamiliarity as tensions of single motherhood arise (Mendez and Deeb-Sossa 2020). I examine

how single, immigrant, Mexican mothers (re)construct mothering practices as some have

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internalized perception of deviance onto themselves and to their children. I argue single,

immigrant, Mexican mothers face complex challenges yet through resilience and perseverance

they are mothers who are resisting and surviving.

LITERATURE REVIEW Single immigrant Mexican mothers’ mother from sites of stories, knowledge, struggles,

and histories (Smith Silva 2014). Their mothering practices encompass myriad of experiences

such as gaining experiential and cultural knowledge through their upbringing, migration, and

work environment. This literature review begins with the scant literature of the intersecting

identities of being a single, immigrant Mexican mother. Mothering & Motherhood literature

primarily focuses on white married mothers, negating how single, immigrant Mexican mothers

(re)negotiate their identity in relation to U.S./Mexico customs, embody and practice good

mothering and ways they rely on social and navigational capital. I then transition into Mexican

mothers as funds of knowledge, in which their experiences inform the ways of educating their

children (Calderon-Berumen 2020) and their practices informed by familismo enact pedagogies

of home (respect, cariño, amor). This section ends with the extensive labor and exploitation

single, immigrant, mothers may experience because of their circumstance.

Mexican Mothers, Mothering, and Motherhood

The complex identities of single, immigrant, Mexican mothers receive less scholarly

attention in motherhood and mothering research. Rather, current research focus on either being a

single Mexican mother, an immigrant Mexican mother, or a Mexican mother. My research is

situated to focus on the myriad of identities these women hold in relation to preconceived

definitions of good mothering.

For the last 40 years, feminist theorist has disrupted dominate narratives of mothers,

mothering, and motherhood (Glenn 1994; Spigel & Baraister 2009). Research on mothers,

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mothering, and motherhood has centered on white middle class women and has defined good

mothers as full-time stay at home moms, heterosexual, married, white, middle class (Glenn 1994;

Christopher 2012; O’Reilly 2014). This definition has influenced mothering ideologies such as

“intensive mothering” where women’s responsibility is engulfed by motherhood; their lives as

mothers are to be child-centered, expert guided, labor-intensive (Hays 1996; Moon 2003);

“good” mothers are positioned as intuitive nurturers and constantly at the disposable of their

children (Goodwin 2006; May 2008).

Adrienne Rich (1986) argues there are two meanings to motherhood. One being the

potential relationship to her children and the other being the institution which aims in women

remaining under male control (emphasis in original 1986:13). Motherhood is based on women’s

biological abilities to bear children and therefore fundamental to women’s ‘fulfillment’

(Christian 1994). Motherhood has confined mothers to be and act in certain ways (nurturing,

caretakers, self-sacrificing) (O'Reilly 2014). The institution of motherhood defines what is a

“good” or “bad” mother. “Bad” mothers fall into three categories: mothers who do not belong to

a traditional nuclear family, mothers who would not or could not protect their child(ren) from

harm, or the mothers whose child(ren) grew up to be criminals (Park: 40). Whereas a “good”

mother embodies being self-sacrificing, a homemaker, and instinctively attuned to her

child(ren’s) needs. Furthermore, Anzaldúa positions Mexican mothers within “good” mothers

being La Virgen de Guadalupe, “treacherous mother” as La Malinche, and “bad” mother as La

Llorona. In Anzaldúa essay, “Entering into the Serpent” she describes how perceptions of

motherhood are informed by religious deities, colonization, and cultural myths to defy “good”

and “bad” mothers. La Virgen de Guadalupe serves as being self-sacrificing, whereas La

Malinche is the bastardized and raped woman and La Llorona fails to protect her children and

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ultimately kills them. Many prominent Chicana feminist scholars such as Gloria Anzaldúa,

Cherrie Moraga, Sandra Cisneros, María Meléndez, Norma Alarcón, and Domino Renee Pérez

challenge these depictions as being used to teach Mexican mothers the “right” way to mother

(Smith Silva 2014).

When becoming a mother, one is choosing to guide, manage, and nurture their child(ren).

As part of mothering practices, mothering becomes a form of pedagogy for their homes (Villenas

and Moreno 2001). These pedagogies are in their day-to-day lives, their communication style,

advice or consejos, and conversations or pláticas with their child(ren) (Villenas and Moreno

2001). As single mothers, they may not adhere to the restrictive patriarchal undertones of

motherhood rather employ their feminist mothering practices by challenging the cultural

expectations of motherhood (La Virgen de Guadalupe). Mothers who are intricately linked to the

gender expectations of emulating La Virgen de Guadalupe are deemed worthy solely based on

the devotion to their families, which is not a negative attribute. Rather when Mexican mothers

use this concept of mothering it may hinder their own identity and agency as mothers (Smith

Silva 2014).

Scholars have (re)defined mothering as socially constructed set of activities and

relationships which reflects mothers’ cultural beliefs, gender roles, and social structures that

impede mother’s decision-making (Collins 1994; Arendell 1999; Bell 2004; Vesley 2019).

Vesley makes the claim that mothering must be understood within the intersection of familial

and social institutions, specifically acknowledging how these institutions hinder, control, and

challenge norms abilities to actualize their beliefs. As Gloria Anzaldúa (1987) shares Latina

mother in the constraints of race, class, and gender oppression (41). As border women, they

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straddle between two worlds of culture, values, and beliefs (Anzaldúa 1987). These tensions

arise in mothering practices as expectations of cultures collide (Fuentes 2013; Vesley 2019).

Latina/Chicana mothering represents and examines all intersectionality’s such as

migration, employment, classism, racism, and sexism (Smith Silva 2014). Within the Mexican

culture, la madre is self-sacrificing, they face added pressures of mothering because of their

ethnic identity, and they struggle with the contradictions (Smith Silvia 2014). Marianismo is a

cultural construct, it places Mexican women within the binary of traditional ideals of

womanhood (Stephens 1973). Jezzini, Guzman and Grayshield (2008) echo marianismo situates

immigrant Mexican women to prioritize their family over their needs (physical, emotional, and

mental health). This ideology dictates “good” mothering for Mexican women, embrace the

demands of motherhood without question (Miller 2002; Smith Silva 2014). Ayón el al. (2018)

states, Latina woman do not hesitate as they are willing to endure hardship to prioritize their

children’s well-being.

Barbara Katz Rothman states, ideologies of mothering exist not in isolation but as part of

complex ideologies of male-dominance, male-centered family (patriarchy), and the economic

system of exploitation (capitalism). For Mexican mothers their ethnic identity allows scholars to

(re)contextualize motherhood. Collins (1994) shares for feminist theorists there must continue to

be research that deconstructs the nuclear family for alternative family structures to prevail.

Mexican mothers should not have to work twice as hard to be valued and respected as good

mothers (Dorgan 2013)

According to May (2001), single mothers encounter prejudice, stigma, and doubts from

others that affects their ability to raise their children “properly”. Single mothers focus on their

ability to provide material aspects such as housing, food, and clothing to fulfill their

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requirements of good mothering (Liamputtong 2006). Although single mothers encounter

challenges, they also experience joy, reward, and benefits to single parenthood (Bermudez,

Stinson, Zak-Hunter, Abrams 2011). Single mothers are given the opportunity to raise their

child(ren) with beliefs and customs they choose to practice (Bermudez, Stinson, Zak-Hunter,

Abrams 2011). Difficult at times due to limited funds or childcare, single mothers would rather

“do it themselves” than stay in unsupportive relationships that compromise the well-being of

their child and their own mental health (Amato 2000). Bermudez (2011) agrees as they state

children have a higher quality of life with a happy single parent than in a problematic

relationship.

Single mothers are positioned to maneuver among familial and social institutions, they

deviate from normative standards since they disrupt the nuclear family (Cibilis 2017). Their

households no longer resemble a patriarchal standard of family, mothers must navigate through

institutions that deem them failures and unworthy (Yosso 2005). Cibilis (2017) continues by

saying single mothers lose autonomy and are denied full social citizenship because of they are

working-class and parenting alone. Single mothers face added stress as sole providers (Antecol

& Bedard, 2007; Harknett, 2006). Latina mothers who felt a need to perform “good” mothering

were more “hands-on” with their children as they felt they had to prove they were “good”

mothers to their community (Bermudez et al. 2011).

Additionally, single mothers negotiate their place within their community. Single

immigrant Mexican mothers may experience forms of cultural imperialism (Ayón et al. 2018).

Cultural imperialism encompasses the dominant group asserting beliefs, traditions, and

expectations as the one and only form of representation, potentially leading to single immigrant

Mexican mothers feeling unwelcomed (Mullaly 2002) within the institution of family. As single,

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immigrant, Mexican mothers must create a sense of belonging within the institution but also for

themselves. The component of “contexts of reception” speaks to the policies, conditions, and

characteristics within social institutions transcends beyond a place of belonging in the system but

also shapes how immigrant mothers view themselves overall (Portes and Rumbaut 2006).

Mothers cultivate social capital when establishing supportive networks of care (Mendez

and Deeb-Sossa 2020). Social capital is defined as finding networks of people and community

resources (Yosso 2005), these social networks provide a myriad of help ranging from mental,

emotional, or physical. Mothers are garner ties with family, a key component in Mexican

cultural, familial capital is the bond with kin that hold similar values and beliefs (Delgado Bernal

1998)

Mexican immigrant Mexican mothers have strong familial ties with their extended kin

and chosen family such as comadres (Esparza 2017). Extended kin encompass cousins, aunts,

uncles, siblings, and friends to alleviate tension or stress when transitioning into new

environments. Single immigrant Mexican mothers may rely on extended kin for childcare,

resources from the community, education, and healthcare. Extended kinship networks serve as

tools of both adaptation and survival, as it key to balancing the demands of single motherhood

(Harknett 2006). Communal support offered through extended kin helps these mothers adjust and

shift their mothering decisions and practices (Gerstel 2011). Although immigrant mothers settle

within the United States, they hope to cling to traditions, values, and language.

Researchers such as Vesley et al (2019) discuss how important extended kin are to

mother’s adjustment to United States culture, they argue that mothers renegotiate their identities

as now being the sole provider, the decision-maker, and how it may affect their daily lives.

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Single immigrant Mexican mothers mothering practices rely on extended kin for support create a

community of collectivistic cultural values for themselves and for their children’s well-being.

Mexican Mothers Sites of Knowledge

Mexican mothers serve as educators, providers, and nurturers tasked to guide their

child(ren) to uphold the cultural values of familismo (Behnke et al., 2008). Familismo highlights

the significance of family cohesion, closeness, and commitment (Valiquette-Tessier 2018) which

serves as an anchor for Mexican families. The values of familismo are practiced through respeto

and educación. Durand (2011) states immigrant parents’ emphasis respeto because it maintains

relationships through love and recognition for self and others, whereas educación explains

parenting decisions and practices, together both create layers of safety between mother and child.

Mexican mothers’ ways of knowing extends beyond formal schooling (Elenes 2001) as

the saying goes “la educación empieza en la casa” meaning mothers gain and facilitate

knowledge in their homes (Calderon-Berumen 2020;3). This saying transcends beyond

themselves by also focusing on how mothers’ mother their children, irrespective of formal

education. Mothers enact pedagogies of home (Delgado Bernal 2001) by eliciting cultural

knowledge gained through their lived experiences. Pedagogies of homes embody

“communication, practices and learning that occur in the home and community… and serve as

cultural knowledge” (Delgado Bernal 2001: 624). These pedagogies are facilitated by mothers

explicit, implicit, and strategic teaching such as speaking to their children in Spanish or their

indigenous language. Mothers pass down consejos, cuentos, or dichos, and share expertise in

navigating structural barriers (Garcia and Kleifgen 2010; Abrego and Menjivar 2011; Elenes

2001). Additionally, immigrant Mexican parents note how important an education is for their

children as it serves as a tool towards success (Reese 2001).

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As Calderon-Berumen (2020) states, Mexican mothers are educators because they are

cultivating curriculum of the home in which educación informs their mothering practices and

ways of educating. Although immigrant Mexican mothers encounter restrictions affecting their

role as mothers (Abrego and Menjivar 2011), they navigate and adapt to fulfill their duties by

ensuring healthcare and education for their children (Farfán-Santos 2019). As mothers they are

socially prescribed to undertake the sole responsibility for their children’s education and health

(Mendez and Deeb-Sossa 2020). Their experience coming to the United States informs their

ways of education and ways of mothering (Calderon-Berumen 2020), based on experiential

knowledge (Freeman 2017). Research supports the narrative of immigrant Mexican mothers

migrating to the United States to ensure a better quality of life or superarse (Galvez 2011;

Doering White 2016; Martinez 2016). The purpose is to better her family whether it be through

economic stability, educational attainment for her or her children, or to flee from war, trauma, or

other forms of violence (Perez Foster 2001; Marsiglia and Menjivar 2004; Martinez 2016). They

navigate new terrain to locate resources and continuously try to maintain a sense of cultural

identity for themselves and their children (Chavira del Prado 1992; Mendez and Deeb-Sossa

2020). As Vesley (2019) states Mexican immigrant mothers negotiate cultural constructions of

mothering when new expectations are placed upon them. Furthermore, according to Ayón

(2018), immigrant Mexican mothers are at a heightened risk of confronting poverty, exploitation,

and anti-immigrant hostilities due to their multifaceted identities. Once arriving to the United

States, these women then must face the language barrier, ostracization of being unfamiliar with

United States culture and customs, and fear of being encounter police, immigration and custom

enforcements (ICE) or border patrol (Forbes Martin 2003; Brabeck, Porterfield, and Loughry

2015; Vesely, Letiecq, & Goodman, 2017). However, these experiences engender their

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educación as mothers in the United States to better their children in hope they do not encounter

similar circumstances.

Immigrant Mexican mothers therefore construct their own roles as educators (Calderon-

Berumen 2020) in which they become change agents within their homes and community (Kuo

2017) by encompassing their collected experiences. As mothers they are chameleons (Smith

Silva) in which they transition between customs in the Mexico and the United States.

Consequently, this places mothers in difficult positions as the navigate, negotiate, and

(re)negotiate mothering practices of identity and role as an immigrant, homemaker, and

employee (Vesley 2019). Research suggests they are worried their child(ren) may become too

Americanized resulting in loss of cultural ties (Hurtado 2003; Suarez-Orozco 2005; Calderon-

Berumen 2020; Romo 2020). Immigrant mothers attempt to secure cultural heritage by religious

festivals or services, traditional foods and clothing, and instilling cultural values such respeto for

elders (Vesley 2019). However, immigrant mothers can also become engulfed by United States

customs such as the ambitions of succeeding the American dream (Dohan 2003).

Feminization of Labor

Scholars such as Williams (2000) and O’Hagan (2014) indicate Mexican mothers

inequalities mutate into new and complex form of inequities due to mothers undertaking the

greater proportion of housework, childcare, and household labor. Mexican immigrant women are

often regarded to babysitters, domestic workers, maids, or migrant workers; therefore, they are

viewed as economic commodities (O'Rielly 2014). Mexican women work either within the

formal or informal economy; the informal economy is mostly reserved for undocumented

workers to evade their legal status (Brabeck and Xu 2010 and Dreby 2006). Those that

participate within the informal economy are viewed as deviant and criminalized for avoiding

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paying taxes. Whereas the formal is an organized system of employment. Mexican mothers

participate in the informal and formal economies and experience exploitation in both by

dangerous or poor working conditions, risking exposure to deadly chemicals, or employers not

providing an adequate living wage for their work (O’Connor 1998). Although, these conditions

thrive further within the informal economy, where many Mexican immigrant women work due to

access and minimal requirements for documentation. Exploitation in their workplace leads to

financial hardship, they are paid less yet expected to work long hours (Bruno 2014).

Furthermore, they do not receive any formal benefits such as healthcare, paid leave, or

workplace protection, they are severely limited (Bruno 2014). This exacerbates their economic

positionality and prevents them from upward social mobility (Garcia 2018). They are stagnant in

their employment; however, immigrants still have a high level of satisfaction living in the United

States (Parra-Cardona 2006). Immigrants assume their upward social mobility will occur for

their children, they are humbled by improving their living conditions from Mexico, learned

English, and improved their reading and writing skills. Immigrant families felt fulfilled in

providing basic needs (housing, food), however still took upon more opportunity to work as it

reflects the cultural value of pride and investment (Parra-Cardona 2006).

Due to single, immigrant, Mexican mothers’ obligation to their children, they will work

in dire conditions to feed, cloth, and house them. Immigrant Mexican women are more likely to

work multiple jobs, surpassing the 40-hour minimum work week. Approximately 58.8 percent of

Mexican women work within the informal economy exceeding men by 7 percent (American

Community Survey 2015). Immigrant mothers are often referred to as “hardworking,”

simultaneously described as “docile” and “stoic” at times unaware of their exploitation (Galvez

2011). Although some Mexican women may find comfort and pride in their resiliency and

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hardworking attitude, the physical labor still takes a toll on their body. It can also misinform

employers that Mexican women can endure challenging and labor extensive work. These are

harmful stereotypes rooted in Mexican women being both an exploited within the household and

work. Rothman (1994) argues that women treat their bodies as machines. Mexican mothers use

their bodies as a means for income but also to bear children. Becoming and being a mother is

perceived as work and their children are products of their labor (Rothman 1994). Motherhood is

considered a marginalized identity for Mexican women especially when they are rendered

invisible and only recognizable when viewed as economic commodities (Smith Silvia 2014).

These perceptions exacerbate the oppression they experience. Mexican mothers will work in

unsafe, violent, and exploitative conditions to provide care and safety for their children (Ayón

2018).

Furthermore, literature bridges motherhood and employment further. Rothman (1994)

states there is a division of labor for mothers as they do the physical labor of the body (birth) and

do the mundane work of domestic labor. Mothers’ bodies are treated like machines to be used for

exploitation of their labor, as motherhood is unpaid work (Moon 2003). Gibbons (2010) states,

mothers who subject themselves to work disrupt the nuclear family as they are meant to be at

home tending to their children. Working mothers are label deviant, especially if they are working

class mothers. Research conducted by Solinger (1999) states low-income mothers are to blame

for their children’s wrong doings because they are working. Denise Segura (1994) claims an

idealized mother stays at home and take cares of her family. Motherhood is not just gendered but

also racialized and classist.

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THEORY Single immigrant Mexican mothers are situated within the margins of society. Their

experiences are racialized, gendered, and they must navigate between acculturation or

maintaining their cultural ties. I use bridge Feminist and Empowered Mothering to create

Mexicana Feminist Mothering to understand the mothering experience of single, immigrant,

Mexican mothers. Feminist Mothering challenges the patriarchal expectations of motherhood

therefore mothers navigate and negotiate their identities as single mothers. Empowered

Mothering utilizes resistance as a strategy to provide personal agency (Horowitz) mothers are

tactful in acquiring resources for themselves and their children as well as rely on social, cultural,

and navigational capital to help them succeed. Feminist and Empowered Mothering centers on

the best outcome for themselves and their children. It is not linked to how their mothering is

informed by patriarchy rather affirming their agency as women and mothers.

Feminist & Empowered Mothering

Feminist Mothering functions as a counter practice seeking to challenge and change the

many ways patriarchal motherhood is oppressive to women. Feminist mothering challenge the

myths of motherhood dictated by patriarchal ideologies, that involve: 1) Children can only be

properly cared for by their biological mothers; 2) This mothering must be provided 24/7; 3) The

mother must always put children’s needs before her own; 4) The mother must be fully satisfied,

fulfilled, completed, and composed in motherhood (O’Reilly 2008). Feminist Mothering

emphasizes women as strong, capable, and independent beings and craft new spaces for

themselves and their children within the institution of motherhood to resist patriarchal

expectations. The resistance of normative “good” mothering as they oppose patriarchal

expectations may also place single mothers in a public perception of deviant (i.e bad mothers).

However, women who embody Feminist Mothering are transforming the institution of

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motherhood to cultivate new forms of mothering practices, in which they (re)adjust to their

shifting precarities, utilizing cultural knowledge and experiential knowledge to raise their

children. As women of color view work and mothering as “an integral part of motherhood” (Hill

Collins 1994: 46) and perform mothering by challenging social constructions of work and

family. Mexican mothers resist normative standards of cultural expectations of stay-at-home

mothers, dependent on husband, sole responsibility is raising children, rather women in this

study strive to be economically independent women and mothers.

Empowered Mothering functions as affirming the lived experiences of mothers and

empowers their children and extended family to recognize their “agency, authority, authenticity,

and autonomy” (O’Reilly 2004). Empowered Mothering situates mothers to also meet their own

needs as women then mothers, challenging the patriarchal undertones of motherhood. O’Reilly

(2004) speaks to not fully grasping what Feminist or Empowered Mothering looks like since

woman practice it differently but if it is interrupting and deconstructing patriarchal narratives of

motherhood women are resisting. Mothers who embody Feminist & Empowered Mothering

resist to normative and stereotypical expectations of both motherhood and womanhood.

Mexicana Feminist Mothering

Mexicana Feminist Mothering bridges Feminist and Empowered Mothering theories to

inform how single, immigrant, Mexican mothers negotiate their multidimensional identities and

navigate resources for their children such as education. It is grounded in identity, home and

familial values, resistance, and culture as it is intrinsically linked to how mothers’ mother. As

Collins states “motherhood [and mothering] cannot be analyzed in isolation” (1994: 45). Mothers

are situated within the margins of society. Their experiences are racialized and gendered.

Mexicana Feminist Mothering shape my qualitative inquiry into the experiences of single,

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immigrant, Mexican mothers, their multidimensional identities, cultural knowledge, resilience,

and resistant of mothers are recognized through the theoretical framework of Mexicana Feminist

Mothering. They are understood as their testimonios deploy Feminist and Empowered

Mothering. Mothers have an array of knowledge and skills to maneuver between institutions

although their knowledge may not be perceived as “formal” they utilize cultural knowledge and

traditions to inform their mothering practices to create mujer-centered knowledge. Mujer-

centered knowledge deploys mothers using social, linguistic, navigational, and cultural capital to

navigate terrains of single motherhood. Mujer-centered knowledge derives from Yosso’s (2005)

Community Cultural Wealth (CCW) model as it prioritizes cultural knowledge of marginalized

communities. CCW strays from a deficit analysis of communities of color to highlight how these

communities thrive by recognizing their potential and wealth of knowledge outside of

institutions that oppress and silence them. Social capital refers to mothers using community or

family resources to mother such as referrals to childcare, employment, or other necessary

components to mother. Linguistic capital refers to the ways in which mothers pass down

language to their children, how they communicate, the formal and informal ways of speaking.

Navigation capital refers to mothers’ ability to maneuver through institutions (education,

healthcare, immigration.) Cultural capital refers to mothers utilizing experiential knowledge and

traditions to educate their children.

Utilizing Mexicana Feminist Mothering as a theoretical framework helps one understand

their lived experiences by centering them as woman and mothers. Mexicana Feminist Mothering

is about reflecting on their lived experiences, how they navigated single motherhood, at times

over-extending themselves to supplement income as they were single woman led households and

forming strong familial bonds with friends and family as they are co-mothering with community.

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METHODS Methodological Approach

I am the daughter of a single, immigrant, Mexican mother and have witnessed her

sacrifices and delight as she raised me and my sisters. My mother struggled with performative

good mothering, prioritizing material items and monetary gains over emotional availability and

open communication. However, my mom was a good mother, in the ways she knew how. She

was a provider and defined good mothering as the ability to sustain and maintain secure housing,

food, and clothing for me and my sisters. There were moments in my early adulthood where I

judged my mother for her mothering decisions. Although I am not a mother, I have come to

understand why she did what she had to do for me and my sisters to have a better life. My

relationship with my mother has not been linear and it has shaped my methodology in the ways I

approach my participants. I built confianza by establishing rapport. I introduced myself as the

daughter of a single, immigrant, Mexican mother eager to (re)discover other woman’s

experiences, navigations, and negotiations of single motherhood. The lived experiences of single,

immigrant, Mexican mothers inform and affect the ways they interact with the world; their

testimonios are felt, heard, (re)experienced and (re)configured to grasp glimpses of their modes

of mothering (Calderon-Berumen 2020).

This study comprises of 10 semi-structured interviews with single, immigrant, Mexican

mothers residing in North County San Diego to understand their mothering experiences and

practices to employ good mothering. Qualitative methodologies were chosen due to the pursuit

of gaining insight into the personal and social lives of my participants. Furthermore, I employed

testimonios as a methodological tool to unveil tensions, contradictions, joys, and unpredictability

to engage and unpack the mothering techniques of single, immigrant, Mexican mothers. As

testimonios are told through narratives, it positions mothers as active subjects and not just objects

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of study (Figueroa 2013). As a qualitative research, it is imperative to shift understandings of

how to study marginalized identities. Testimonios allows mothers to critically reflect on their

personal experiences within socio-political and socio-economic realities. Testimonios serve as a

product and process challenging traditional qualitative research. Testimonios engender the

participant experiences by informing them of the power structures that reify their oppression

while also embodying strength, empowerment, and healing (Saavedra & Salazar Pérez as cited in

Collins, 2000). This allows the research process to be intimate and valued by a mutual

understanding of experiences.

Although testimonios differ from semi-structured interviews, I bridge both methods to

reveal an epistemology of truths (Bernal, Burciaga and Carmona 2017). Epistemology of truths

serve as understanding knowledge, belief, acceptance, and perspective between participant and

researcher. This research is grounded in single, immigrant, Mexican mothers (re)telling their

experiences within the bond of perceived “good” mothering. The truth uncovered through their

voices which historically have been silenced by institutional forces (patriarchy). Testimonios

embodies resilience and vulnerability, providing agency for mothers demanding to be heard

(Beverley 2005; Calderon-Berumen 2020). This project was brought about through personal

endeavors and as a first-generation Chicana scholar raised by a single, immigrant, Mexican

mother, I know my mothers’ experience may not reflect other single, immigrant, Mexican

mothers experience. The perception of single, immigrant, Mexican mothers are preconceived

solely based on their marginality, they are meant to fail as mothers because; 1) They are single

therefore obstructing the nuclear family, 2) They are immigrants, therefore a public charge and

illegal, and 3) They are Mexican, therefore lazy and criminals. This project serves as to

humanize mothers and shift the narrative and perception of these mothers, that their mothering

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experiences are complex, and they challenge notions of good and deviant mothering. Testimonios

not only reinvents how to listen, write, and speak about mothers it also creates new forms of

belonging for participates within the methodologies. Testimonios is primarily in Latina/Chicana

Higher Education literature, utilizing testimonios in this study allows for new spaces of

belonging as single, immigrant, Mexican mothers situate themselves as cultural educators.

My role as the researcher was to listen wholeheartedly and with confianza to establish

trust and embrace multiple truths. As mothers share their testimonios, the act of remembering can

be a painful recollection by naming potential failures, ill-informed decisions, inequities, poverty

suffered and naming their marginality (Klahn 2003). As agents of cultural insight, semi-

structured interviews and testimonios better grasp their experiences. Testimonios and semi-

structured interviews uncover the meanings of participants experiences by associating those

meanings within the socio-economic and socio-political contexts they live (Rubin and Rubin

2012). With open-ended questions, it cultivates an understanding that “[their] bodies are maps of

oppression, of institutional violence and stress, of exclusion, objectification, and abuse” (Latina

Feminist Group 2001). Therefore, mothers explore beliefs, values, motivations, and histories by

expanding complex and at times sensitive topics to further delve into gathering more information

or asking for clarification.

Testimonios disrupt essentialized and homogenized understanding of Mexican women

(Latina Feminist Group 2001; 6) and testimonios aids in cultivating knowledge and theory

through lived experiences (Calderon-Berumen 2020). This approach best suits my research

questions; 1) How is being a single, immigrant, Mexican mother affect their mothering practices

and decision-making? 2) What strategies/techniques do single, immigrant, Mexican mothers

utilize (if any) to be good mothers? I designed 7 sections in my interview questions in which I

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told each mother what I will be asking next. This ensures mothers are not overwhelmed or taken

aback. As single, immigrant, Mexican mothers their lived experiences inform and affect the ways

they interact with the world (Calderon-Berumen 2020), I serve to bridge their world with

academia.

Participant Recruitment

Women ages 40-65 who are single, immigrant, Mexican mothers were invited to

participate. My participant sample is situated in North County San Diego, a high population of

Mexican families and immigrants. Convenience sampling was the primary method in recruiting

mothers. I sought participants through personal networks such as friends and family, where I

recruited six of my participants. I also utilized social media platforms such as Instagram, Twitter,

and Facebook where I publicly shared my participant recruitment flier in English and Spanish,

which resulted in recruiting four participants. Mothers were asked to participate either through

their children who saw the flier or were personally asked since I knew they were single,

immigrant Mexican mother.

Although I knew some mothers personally, I ensured their right of confidentiality by

explaining the scope of the project, potential risks of participating and providing them safeguards

such as creating pseudonyms, ability to skip or forgo any questions, and end the interview at any

time or completely withdraw from the study even after the interview has been completed.

Participant Profiles & Language

Mothers in this study were aged 44 to 62, who emigrated from Mexico between 1978 and

1999 as teenagers (14+) or in their early 20s. All participants spoke Spanish as their native

language and were intermediate English speakers. Their formal education ranged from 1st to 6th

grade. All mothers have raised their child(ren) independently for more than 10 years, most

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became single mothers when their child(ren) were school-aged (ages 6-13) or younger. Most

mothers continue to work with the informal economy (housecleaner) as for others they work at

local taco shops, hotels as maids, or in daycare centers. All mothers in this study identified being

working class. Mothers disclosed their state of residency, as some were undocumented when

they arrived and gained residency or citizenship during their children’s early adolescent years,

and only one mother in this study in undocumented. Mothers in this study had differing

relationship status, all but five had been previously married and all but three had partners have

current partners.

It is critical to note that mothers self-identify as single although they may have had a

partner during their child(ren’s) early childhood and adolescent. Their partner was not the father

of their child nor did they participate in assuming the role as the father. For this study, we define

single motherhood as mothers who primarily take care of their children throughout the days,

weeks, and months of their children’s lives (education, home, food, health, etc.). Two mothers in

this study shared fathers were present by actively seeing their daughter/son and gave monthly

monetary funds, however; they still considered themselves single mothers because they oversaw

the day-to-day activities of their child.

Table 1. Participant Profiles

Name Age Place of Birth

Level of Education Work Year

Arrived Children

Alma 44 Veracruz 3rd grade Office Assistant 1997 Daughter: 1

Teresa 49 Cuernavaca 3rd grade & some high school Business Owner 1981 Sons: 2

Rebeca 42 Queretaro 3rd grade Housecleaner 1993 Daughters: 2

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I am a fluent Spanish speaker. All interviews were conducted in Spanish. Mothers felt at

ease as they did not have to speak English. I provided information sheets in Spanish and English

as many participants were informed of this project by their children. I sent their children the

information sheets in English if they would like to read them as well.

Due to nuance of Spanish and English translation, I was aware and cautious of translating

terms and phrases due to the risk of producing language marginalization (Bernal, Burciaga and

Carmona 2017). I was wary of translating my participants testimonios from Spanish to English

because of the culturally specific knowledge that can shift meaning or be lost in translation. My

participants serve as my testimonialista, they are agents of knowledge thereby disrupting

traditional academia ideals of who might be considered a producer of knowledge (Delgado

Bernal 2009). As a qualitative researcher, it is critical to empathize with those that are sharing

their experiences. For this study, I decided to translate mothers’ words for this research to reach

broader communities in hope they feel connected to these women’s experiences and stories.

Francisca 47 Guadalajara 4th grade Hotel Maid & Housecleaner 1990 Daughter: 1, Sons: 3

Gloria 47 Mexico City 6th grade Cashier & Housecleaner 1997 Daughters: 2

Valentina 45 Acapulco 4th grade & some high school Daycare assistant 1999 Son: 1

Emilia 55 Oaxaca 7th grade Housecleaner 1978 Daughters: 3, Sons: 2

Alba 53 Queretaro 2nd grade Housecleaner 1982 Daughters: 2, Son: 1

Antonia 57 Oaxaca 5th grade Housecleaner 1989 Sons: 2

Carmen 62 Veracruz 3rd grade Housecleaner 1980 Daughters: 3

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However, direct translation could fail to encompass the rich context of what mothers said in

Spanish.

Data Collection & Ethical Considerations

This research project was conducted amid a global pandemic, Corona Virus (SARS-CoV-

2) is a highly infectious respiratory illness that is deeply felt in the United States. In terms of

conducting research in-person it was largely suspended to adhere to stay-at-home orders to

comply with federal, state, and local COVID-19 social distancing guidelines.1 For communities

of color, there is a disproportionate impact in the job loss, health, and death related to COVID-

19. Black, Latinxs, Native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders are dying at disproportionately higher

levels. Latinx people represent 40 percent of the population in the State of California but they

represent 48 percent of confirmed COVID-19 cases and represent 58 percent of those dying from

COVID-19.2 This thesis project prioritizes the safety of researcher and participants.

My qualitative data collection consisted of 8 tape-recorded interviews through a phone

call and 2 tape-recorded through Zoom, a video communication platform. All interviews were

scheduled when mothers were available. However, their time was often constraint and I met

mothers where they were at; interviews ranged from 8:00AM mornings before driving to work,

to 6:00PM evenings after work, to taking place while they drove home from work, or during

brief periods of house duties, cleaning, or relaxing. Face-to-face interviews have long been the

dominant interview technique in the field of qualitative research. Conducting interviews through

telephone, allowed single, immigrant, Mexican mothers to be flexible and ease any possible

1 This statement was created with Dr. Marisol Clark-Ibañez and colleagues in our Fall 2020 graduate seminar, SOC 611 – Qualitative Research Methods. 2 https://www.cdph.ca.gov/Programs/CID/DCDC/Pages/COVID-19/Race-Ethnicity.aspx

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hesitation to time-commitment of conducting an interview. All interviews ranged between 30

minutes to 2.5 hours.

My relationship with mothers ranged from being a friend of their daughter to being

friends of my mother and having known them since I was a child. I am positioned as an

“outsider” because I am not a single, immigrant, Mexican mothers and an “insider” because I am

the recipient of the mothering practices of a single, immigrant, Mexican mother. My positionality

is unique as I am a partial observer in which both insider/outside dichotomy may not fully be

known. Due to my positionality, mothers who are friends with my mother may not have felt fully

comfortable sharing their experience as they are sharing deep and personal circumstances. On the

other hand, they may have felt overtly comfortable as they confide in me since they have known

me since my childhood. As a graduate student researcher, I am aware of the imbalance of power.

In the beginning of each of my interviews, I shared with my participants they may feel

uncomfortable, shy, or hesitant to share personal experiences and they can skip any question.

Furthermore, I told mothers their information is confidential, and they would be given

pseudonyms to protect their identity, except one mother who insisted on keeping her name in this

study. Interviews were recorded on my password protected device and stored in an encrypted

password-protected folder on my personal computer.

Testimonios and semi-structured interviews were best suited for this research because I

hope to build rapport with my participants to delve into deeper complex or sensitive questions

(Saldaña and Omasta. 2018) to understand their modes of mothering. Due to potential instances

where my participants experience horizonal and vertical forms of oppression these mothers have

the agency to tell their story and the autonomy to reflect on their past.

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Data Analysis

All interviews were transcribed in Spanish on an automated transcription software called

Sonix. Once they were transcribed, I listened to each one to match the audio with the text and

made appropriate edits if it did not. Interview transcriptions were printed and then analyzed

using a combination of deductive and inductive methods creating a hybrid coding approach.

Codes were derived from the literature review (education, labor, mothering) and created a set of

codes that emerge from the data (cultural knowledge, absentee fathers, childcare). This initial

coding step then allowed me to pattern code, by grouping similar codes to generate an

overarching theme. The themes encompassed three parent codes of education, mothering is

difficult, and reflections and nine subcodes. All codes were further analyzed and renamed for

specificity.

I analyzed mothers’ responses using pattern coding, finding commonalities through each

interview. Thematic analysis coding was used to distinguish patterns across interview transcripts.

Pattern coding was useful as it led me to new meanings of mothering for single, immigrant,

Mexican mothers, since pattern coding leads to overarching themes. As a qualitative researcher, I

coded and categorized data by what participants said. The pattern in the data explains why those

patterns are there in the first place (Bernard 2006) since conversations in interviews may shift to

new areas of exploration, it is crucial to note how mothers are addressing the question in

different manners. As mothers reminisced on their lived experiences it elicited emotion filled

responses of guilt, sadness, contempt, and joy. Mothers exhibited emotional arcs through

interviews, Saldaña and Omasta (2018) describe emotion coding as emotional states recalled by

participants in which it explores their experiences, actions, reasoning, decision-making,

judgement, and risk-taking. Mothers in this study were at varying levels of emotional states as

36

they recounted their experiences. Additionally, I utilized value codes which highlight

participants values, attitudes, and beliefs to examine and explain their perspective (Saldaña and

Omasta 2018). To highlight single, immigrant, Mexican mothers, value codes are critical as they

are meant to explore participants cultural values and identity (Saldaña and Omasta 2018).

FINDINGS & DISCUSSION Through testimonios, three critical themes emerged showcasing how single, immigrant,

Mexican mothers3 navigate mothering and motherhood. The first section examines the

difficulties set upon mothers, using their words “Hijole, Es Bien Dificil En Ser Madre Soltera…

Pero Si Se Puede” provides a framework to answer some of the challenges mothers faced as they

(re)adjust their mothering practices to absentee fathers, being sole providers for their household,

and needing to develop confianza with others as co-mothering serves as a coalition of care.

Second, “Y Con Respeto” – Cultural Knowledge as Valued Education introduces mothers’

educational experiences and involvement with their child(rens) education. Tensions arose

mothers as they struggled with their own informal schooling and felt helpless as their child(ren)

began formal education. As such, mothers sought to teach their children cultural values such as

instilling linguistic and cultural capital. Third, mothers self-reflect on their mothering

experiences from the perspective of their children, “Perdóname Pero Estaba Trabajando” –

Lingering Emotional Toll for “Not Being There” as their children are now older and chastise

their mothers for not being available emotionally during their early childhood.

I examine how mothers’ mother amidst such tensions; yet they resist and survive with the

knowledge and resources they are afforded. I argue that mothers take aspects of cultural

knowledge, experiential knowledge, social, linguistic, and navigational capital to inform and

3 For the remainder of the findings section, I will use mothers when referring to single, immigrant, Mexican mothers.

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guide their mothering practices to better understand mothering as constantly shifting, as it is a

learned occupation (Ingolia 2019).

The findings highlight the gaps within research of mothers as many scholars such as

Smith Silvia, Suarez-Orozco, and Hondagneu-Sotelo situate mothers within the identities of

being either a single Mexican mother, immigrant Mexican mothers, or transnational mothers

where their children reside in Mexico. My research aids and expands on single Mexican mothers,

and immigrant Mexican mothers as these intertwined identities have not been studied within the

framework of motherhood and mothering.

“Híjole, Es Bien Difícil En Ser Madre Soltera… Pero Si Se Puede”

Mothers in this study resisted, survived, and made do with the resources they had. They

are from pueblos and grew up with limited access to clean water, food security, and stable

housing. Their own childhoods in Mexico involved raising and providing for themselves. In

many ways, mothers chose to come to the United States for their children, and to be better

mothers with more resources (job, housing, food) to provide their children with a childhood

filled with materials (clothing, shoes, school supplies) they did not have growing up. However,

there are new sets of challenges mothers did not anticipate such as single parenting. Alba, 53,

and a mother of two girls and one boy, highlights how as a single mother, there is much to worry

about, but you can persist through set challenges,

Tienes que dejar a tus hijos a quien te los cuide o en la escuela, o tienes que buscar programas para que te los cuiden más, para poder seguir trabajado. Es complicado porque tienes que hacer el labor de papá y mamá, y hay veces es un poco difícil porque los niños tal vez no entienden esa situación. Pero si, si se puede. “You have to leave your children with babysitters or at school or find after-school programs that can take care of them, so you can keep working. It’s complicated because you have to do the labor of being the father and mother, and sometimes it’s a bit difficult because your children may not understand the situation. But yes, you can do it.”

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For mothers, their ambitions were guided by their persistence and determination in succeeding as

mothers. Similarly, Carmen, 62, and a mother of three girls, reminisced “Fue difícil, pienso…

bien difícil, pero salimos, salí adelante” (It was hard, I think… it was very hard, but we

overcame it, I overcame it). In her own words, Carmen acknowledges the difficulty of single

motherhood as she pauses to think of how difficult single motherhood was, yet she continues

with “Pero salimos, salí adelante.” Carmen and Alba represent Mexicana Feminist Mothering as

it is embedded in perseverance and resistance.

“Tienes que ser la Mamá y el Papá Junto” – Absent Fathers

Single motherhood involves the physical and emotional absence of fathers. Mothers in

this study at times assume the role of fathers to protect and guide their children because they had

to do it. “Si eres madre soltera tienes que hacerlo, tienes que ser la mamá y el papá junto.” (If

you are a single mother you have to do it, you have to be mom and dad at the same time.)

Rebeca, 42, a mother of two daughter describes single motherhood involves double parenting,

being a mother and the father simultaneously. Single mothers assume the role as nurturers

(mother) and providers (fathers), organized by gender expectations of femininity and masculinity

and enforced by the traditional gender roles within the social construct of a nuclear family.

They reconceptualize the nuclear family as they challenge prescribed cultural beliefs of

womanhood and motherhood. The social construct of the nuclear family imbeds structural

inequities which influence opportunities and resources for mothers. Double parenting involves

mothers fulfilling the responsibilities of both parents, often placing a burden for single mothers

as they may place high expectations upon themselves.

As women in this study become mothers, they chose the well-being of their children

rather than staying in unhealthy relationships with the father of their children. Mothers expressed

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fathers’ absence began during early-elementary years, and notably in each circumstance, the

mothers decided to leave the father due to infidelity, lack of financial responsibility, alcohol

and/or drug abuse. Alba, 53, and a mother to two daughters and one son has been a single mother

for 17 years, she shares her decision to divorce her husband as he was involved in drug abuse.

“Se acabó, lo divorcie. No iba arriesgar nada. Me di cuenta que él andaba haciendo eso y pue no quise estar con el esos porque estoy sola.” (It was over, I divorced him. I was not going to risk anything. I found out he was doing that and well I didn’t want to be with him anymore, that’s why now I am alone.)

While explaining her decision to leave her children’s father, Alba’s tone projected a feeling of

sadness as she reflected on her decision that ultimately changed the trajectory of her life, causing

her to accept the parenting roles and financial burden of mother and father. Despite Alba’s

sadness, her decision was simple and finite. Alba’s decision was predicated on the safety and

overall well-being of her children as she was not going to risk her children being exposed to the

father’s drug habits. She welcomed the challenges of single motherhood as she foresaw the

benefits of raising her son and daughters in a drug-free home. Raising her son and daughters

alone would be better than exposing them to their father’s drug abuse.

Gloria, 47, and a mother to two daughters and has been a single mother for 13 years,

shares how the father of her daughters consistently cheated. Her voice trembles as she says, “Ya

no pude hacerlo, me tuve que escoge yo misma” (I couldn't do it anymore, I had to choose

myself). Gloria made the conscious decision to choose herself and her children. Yet she battles

with feeling guilty and resentful for who to place the blame upon within a patriarchal social

context that promotes the nuclear family. On one hand, Gloria would appear to be the source of

blame as she should have worried more about being a “good” mother by keeping the family

together than her husband’s infidelity. On the other hand, Gloria would appear deviant as she

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strays from heteronormative ideas of womanhood and motherhood. In both scenarios, she is set

up to lose either by showing her children to stay in unhealthy relationships and sacrifice her

peace of mind for the well-being of the family or by leaving and therefore her children grow up

in a misperceived “broken” home. This example illustrates the pressure mothers encounter by

failing to achieve the standards of mothering to maintain the nuclear family.

Carmen, 62, and a mother of three daughters has been a single mother for 24 years,

reflects wanting to create healthier home environments for her children; however, struggling to

navigate how to do so. “Tenía que hablarles fuerte porque pensaba que era la única forma que

me iban a entender o obedece.” (I had to yell at them because I thought it was the only way they

were going to listen or obey me). In single motherhood, mothers are prescribed traditional

heteronormative expectations of masculinity (fatherhood) and femininity (motherhood) which

cannot be fulfilled. The fathers’ role within the nuclear family social construct is to enforce

discipline or behavioral management through authority. Carmen assumes both roles and

struggles to perform them simultaneously. Her authority as a single mother is deemed less

respectable because she was not perceived as an authoritative figure, needing to raise her voice to

command her children’s attention.

There is a greater stress on mothers to perform double duties, mothers with older children

often assume the role of caretakers for their younger siblings. Francisca, 47, and a mother of

three sons and one daughter has been a single mother since her youngest child was five and her

oldest child was 16, relied heavily on her oldest son to assume the role as the father figure, “Era

muy duro. El ha sido como su papá de ellos porque el es que me ha ayudado a regañándolos y a

llamarle la atención, y ser como un padre para ellos” (It was very hard. He has been like their

father because he has helped me scold them and get their attention and be like a father to them).

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The eldest child assumed the absentee parental figure. Francisca relies on her son to play the

father-figure, her son is given responsibilities such as cooking for his siblings and watching over

them when their mother is working these acts exceed his maturity.

Despite the burdens mothers shared, they believed mothering alone was more beneficial

in terms of the well-being for themselves and their children. Valentina, 45, a single mother of

five years of one boy, enthusiastically expressed how she is happy being a single mother, “mejor

porque tomo todas las decisiones,” (Better because I make all the decisions). Valentina is

confident in her ability to fulfill double parenting as she makes all the decisions for her son’s

wellbeing.

Similarly, Carmen, 62, affirms she feels free from heteronormative expectations of

masculinity and femininity in her mothering practices, “Me sentía libre, al menos no tenía un

esposo que estar soportando y estaba más al cuidado de mis hijas” (I felt free, at least I didn't

have a husband to put up with and I was more in the care of my daughters). A self-realized,

economically independent woman, Carmen redirects her energy towards her children. Carmen

expressed it was liberating being in an environment where she was not forced to partake in what

she describes as a triple shift (employee, mother, and wife). Furthermore, Gloria shines as she

states, “prefiero estar sola que mal acompanada” (I prefer to be alone than to be in bad

company) and finds joy in being single. Such a self-reliance illustrates Mexicana Feminist

Mothering, as mothers like Carmen and Gloria cultivate healthy relationships and home

dynamics for their children.

Some mothers in this study also co-parented with the fathers. This embodied monetary

support and spending quality time with their children either weekly or monthly. Rebeca who co-

parents with the father of her youngest daughter narrates how healthy boundaries are negotiated.

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“Yo hablo con mi hija y ella dice que ella es feliz, es una niña feliz, aun teniendo a sus padres separados porque sabe que aunque estamos separados ahí un respeto para uno al otro a que estuviéramos juntos, y dice mi hija, ‘Creo que [seria] mas estresante si ustedes estén juntos, siempre discutiendo. Yo soy feliz porque cada quien vive su vida y yo no estoy entre los pleitos. Yo no escucho pleitos.’” (I talk to my daughter and she says that she is happy, she is a happy girl, even having her parents separated because she knows that although we are separated there a respect for one another, and my daughter says, 'I think [It would be] more stressful if you two were together, always arguing. I am happy because everyone lives their lives, and I am not in the middle of your fights. I don't have to listen to the bickering)

Rebeca’s daughter states having two separate but happy parents is a dynamic that best suits her

daughter because she does not have to choose which parent is “better.” Both provide her with the

necessary guidance, nurturance, and support that would be offered within the traditional nuclear

family. Thus, mothers (re)construct familial bonds as an act of Mexicana Feminist Mothering.

Although the father of Rebeca’s daughter provides monthly monetary support and sees their

daughter weekly, Rebeca is still stressed and frustrated, “Ha este punto [todavía] me siento

madre soltera al 100 por ciento,” (At this point I [still] feel like a single mother, 100 percent).

She still identifies as a single mother because she ultimately makes all the primary decisions

(neighborhood they live in, her education, what she eats, what she does on her free time) for her

daughter,

“Aunque él esté a 15 minutos, pero como sigo siendo madre soltera, me sigo considerando madre soltera. Porque soy yo la que tengo que estar al pendiente de ella, que mi hija no tiene de comer, a que mi hija tenga donde vivir, de que mi hija esté en esta casa, estar aquí en la computadora con sus maestros y ándale no estar en el teléfono, porque tienes que estar aquí siempre.” (Although he is 15 minutes away, I am still a single mother, I still consider myself a single mother. Because I am the one who has to stay alert, that my daughter has enough to eat, that my daughter has a place to live, that my daughter is in this house, be here on the computer with her teachers and not to be on her phone, because you have to be here always)

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In this case, Rebeca notes the limits of co-parenting with the father in terms of “double

parenting.” Rebeca endures double the burden as she does not have relief from everyday tasks. A

lack of such relief from the labor of mothering further entrenches the burdens of domestic labor,

which can compound their economic vulnerability in their workplace outside the home.

Nonetheless, Mexicana Feminist Mothering sets mothers to (re)conceptualize their roles as

mothers and the duties of double parenting to establish healthy relationships with their children

to maintain stable home dynamics.

In most cases in this study, the complete lack of fathers’ presence instilled feelings of

abandonment within children which added pressures from mothers to protect them. Teresa, 49, a

mother to two sons who has been a single mother for 22 years disclosed the father is a stranger to

her children. “Si usted le pregunta ahorita? Para ellos su papá es un extraño” (If you ask them

right now? Their dad is a stranger), and that they bear the emotional toll for their children. Teresa

communicates her disappointment with her ex-husband who does not want to spend money on

his children as an excuse not to see them.

“Decía ‘no, es porque siempre que vengo, gasto mucho dinero’ y yo le decía, no necesitan, los niños no los necesitas que los lleves al Chuck E Cheese a puesto que van a recordar más de ti va ser con una pelota en el parque de que en el Chuck E Cheese” ” (He would say “No, every time I come, I spend a lot of money” and I told him, they don't need… the children don't need you to take them to Chuck E Cheese, they will remember more of you if you play ball with them at the park instead of taking them to Chuck E. Cheese)

Gloria shares a similar experience; their children asked them about their fathers as they believed

it was their fault for his absence. Gloria shares a painful memory of her daughters believing their

father did not care for them,

“Porque ellas me decían ‘Oh, mi papa no me extraña’, or ‘Mi papa he didn’t even call me for my birthday or for Christmas’ that hurts me. Me duele que ellos me digan eso.”

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(Because they told me ‘Oh, my dad doesn't miss me.’ Or ‘My dad he didn’t even call me for my birthday or for Christmas’ and that that hurts me. It hurt that they tell me that.)

Shouldering emotional toll mothers are tasked to protect their children from harm. Emotional

labor is an invisible form of labor that mothers perform. The fathers choose to be absent from

children’s lives and mothers are not spared emotional burden. In fact, the burden is heightened

for these women because some may still be in touch with the fathers as they also “mother” them

Gloria was left to pick up the fathers’ inconsistent behavior, which led her to texting the father to

remind him to text them back or to call back his daughters. It came to a point where Gloria

realized the imbalance between her and the fathers parenting roles.

“Yo le llamaba a el y le decía ‘Hoy es cumpleaños de tu hija, hoy es cumpleaños de tu hija, llámales.’ Hasta que llegue a un punto que dije ‘No!’ Porque le tengo que llamar? Yo no quiero llamarle para recordarle o para decirle que hoy es su cumpleaños, no es justo.” (I would call him and say, "Today is your daughter's birthday, today is your daughter's birthday, call them." Until I got to a point where I said "No!" Why do I have to call him? I don't want to call him to remind him or to tell him that today is their birthday, it's not fair.)

As much as Gloria sought to shield her daughters from their neglectful and forgetful father, she

understood she can no longer do so.

Similarly, Francisca illustrates how she tried to push their father to develop a relationship

with their children; call them, talk to them, see them. As he has an obligation as a father to be

present in his children’s lives yet chose not to.

“Tienes hijos, tienes que llamarles para felicitarles su cumpleaños y decía ‘Oh Ok. Ok.’ Pero después te digo que yo ya llegue a un punto porque yo tengo que llamarlo para decirle que les llama a sus hijos. El tiene que decidir por el mismo si quiere hablar con sus hijos y si el no lo quiere hacer es su problema, un día lo va a arrepentir.” (You have kids, you have to call them to say happy birthday and he would say “Oh, ok, ok” But I reached a point in where I asked myself “Why do I have to call him to remind him he has children?” He has to decide for himself if he wants to talk to his children and if he does not want to do it, it is his problem, one day he will regret it)

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Children from absent-father homes may harbor anger towards their mother. Antonia raised two

rambunctious boys; however, the oldest son would become enraged with the thought of being

compared to his father. Antonia held her comments in contempt, “Al hablar de yo de su papá, el

se frustraría” (If I would talk about his dad, he would become upset). As she elaborates, she

discusses how the father of her oldest son would only call once or every two years wishing him a

happy birthday. As the years progressed, Antonia shared her son grew to resent his father and

told him on his 16th birthday,

“Sabes que yo no quiero que vuelvas a hablar. Muchas gracias, por recordarte de mi cumpleaños. Pero yo no quiero que me vuelvas a molestar” (You know what, I don't want you to call me again. Thank you very much for remembering my birthday. But I don't want you to bother me again)

Antonia reveals “Y haci fue su papá ya no le volvio a molestar,” (And that was it, his dad never

bothered him again), it has been eight years since they last spoke. Mexicana Feminist Mothering

embodies mothers taking back their agency and Antonia gives the same agency to her son to

make a life-altering decision and not pressuring him to develop a relationship with his father.

Mothers testimonios speaks to the difficulty of single motherhood as they must grasp the

role of double parenting. However, mothers are confident in their ability to mother. This

encapsulates Mexicana Feminist Mothering as mothers feel both empowered and capable to

succeed despite challenges of single motherhood.

“Tenia que Trabajar de Doble” – Challenging the Masculinist Notion of Father as Economic

Provider and Economic (Dis)Empowerment

The mothers in this study migrated to the United States for a better life for themselves.

Once they had children here in the United States, it further motivated them to achieve the

American Dream. This desire placed mothers in a precarious position, as the American Dream

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did not afford them the flexibility. Single motherhood allows for new understandings of labor.

Labor is not just described as exploitative in the workforce; mothers require additional “work” to

be economically independent mothers. Financial hardship places a strain on single parenting as

the family only has one stream of income. Mothers in this study partake in the formal and

informal economies to challenge masculinist notions of primary economic providers. Antonia

works within the informal economy as a housecleaner, shares “tenia que trabajar de doble” (I

had to work twice as hard), this sentiment encompasses mothers’ positions in (re)negotiating

their identities as they experience inequities in the labor market (domestic labor, exploitative

labor, and paid and unpaid reproductive labor) as an added difficulty in their mothering practices.

Mothers are positioned to undertake greater responsibilities (housework, childcare,

work), which places constraints on their economic freedom to “buy back” lost time. Gloria, who

worked within the formal and informal economy as a cashier and housecleaner shares,

“A veces llegaba a la una de la madrugada para otra vez a las siete de la mañana, me despertaba a las 6:30 para bañarme y arreglarme y otra vez irme a trabajar. It was hard... it was hard.” (Sometimes I would arrive at one in the morning and then start all over at seven in the morning, I would wake up at 6:30 to take a shower and get ready and go to work again. It was hard ... it was hard)

As single mothers, they worked twice the hours to supplement their income and they self-

sacrificed their physical and mental health. Teresa cried when her children were sick because she

had to tend to their needs, “Yo lloraba. Lloraba porque yo lo que quería era dormir. Porque al

otro día, desde tempranito, en friega” (I would cry. I cried because all I wanted was to sleep.

Because the next day, bright and early, in a hurry). They exert their bodies to be devoted

mothers.

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Rebeca, who worked within the formal and informal economy as a factory worker and

housecleaner, once worked 14 to 16-hour workdays describe feeling anguish from over-working

and seeing minimal to no monetary gain. She shares, “Debe de fuerte el trauma que te queda de

estar trabajando, trabajando, trabajando y no tener dinero, nada más te queda el puro

cansancio.” (The trauma that you have left from constantly working, working, and working and

having no money, you just are so tired). Rebeca fatigue and resentfulness stems from the

pressures of working-class women who feel as though they are failing in being providers because

they see minimal to no benefit of their work.

Single mothers’ perceptions of self are constantly shifting as they adjust to new

understandings of their lives. Mothers working within the formal and informal economy navigate

and negotiate their identities to find employment. When Rebeca was undocumented, she

encountered an added barrier in finding employment: citizenship status.

“He tenido malas experiencias e ir a pedir un trabajo y lo primero que me decían ‘tienes un seguro social.’ Y al decirles ‘que no,’ pues decían, ‘No tenemos trabajo’ sabiendo que si había trabajo entonces yo me regresaba y decía… ‘Mañana voy a otro lado’ y iba a otro lado y lo mismo y ‘Si tenemos, quieres una aplicación’ y lo primero que vez es arriba de la aplicación, un cuadrito donde te piden tu numero de seguro social. Al mirar este cuadrito donde uno no tiene un número social pues mejor entregar la aplicación y me salí porque sabía que no le iba agarrar, pero es muy difícil” (I have had bad experiences going out, looking for employment and the first thing they ask me “Do you have social security?” And when I said “No.” they say, “We don't have a job” knowing that there was work available. Therefore, I would go back and say, “Tomorrow I'm going to another place” and I went to another place and the same thing, “Yes, we do, would you like an application?” and the first thing you see is at the top of the application, a box where they ask for your social security number. When looking at this little box where one does not have a social security number, it is better to just hand it over the application and I would leave because I knew I was not going to get the job, but it is very difficult)

Rebeca’s experience is similar to thousands of mothers struggling to find employment being

undocumented. Her status serves as double oppression while also double parenting, she says

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“Ser indocumentada y madre soltera son dos cosas a la vez, son dos situaciones juntas, muy

fuerte” (Being undocumented and a single mother are two things at the same time, they are two

situations together, very strong). Rebeca’s simultaneous and inseparable experiences are

identities that are not mutually exclusive. Rebeca’s undocumented status places her in a greater

vulnerability than others because she is at a heightened risk of confronting further exploitation

and poverty. Furthermore, although the father of Rebeca’s daughter provides monthly support it

is not sufficient. Double parenting leaves Rebeca to procure additional income to remain afloat

in month-to-month expenses.

An effect of single motherhood was the decline of spending time together as a family

unhurried, unrushed, and simply living every day. Francisca shares, “Casa no estuve mucho

tiempo, la verdad... con ellos, porque casi siempre estaba trabajando y a veces llegaba yo del

trabajo y ya estaban dormidos” (The truth is…I was not home with them, because I was almost

always working and sometimes, I would come home from work and they were already asleep).

Francisca paused and hesitated to share this because she felt she wasn’t being a “good” mother

due to her lack of presence in her children’s lives. Rebeca illustrates the same heartache, as she is

met with guilt for the time work has stolen from spending crucial time in her oldest daughter’s

developmental stage.

“Ella era chiquita y pues yo tenía miedo de que mi hija no, no me quisiera porque trabajaba de las 4 de la mañana hasta las 4:30 de la tarde. Entonces me la pasaba muchas horas en el trabajo, muchas, muchas horas en el trabajo, y miraba poco a mi hija y eran los 7 días a la semana…. trabajas 14 horas para que no me falta nada, pero les estás faltando tu presencia tus cuidados. Entonces es bien difícil. Es muy difícil pensar que un día ella crezca y te va a preguntar ¿Dónde estaba? ¿Porque trabajas tanto?” (She was little and well; I was afraid that my daughter would not love me because I worked from 4 in the morning until 4:30 in the afternoon. So I spent many hours at work, many, many hours at work, and I looked at my daughter…and it was 7 days a week… I work 14 hours, so I don’t miss anything, but what is missing is my presence, your care.

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So, it is very difficult. It is very difficult to think that one day she will grow up and ask “Where were you?” “Why do you work so much?)”

For Rebeca mothering is difficult because she had to work (at one point) 14 hours for 7 days a

week so that she and her daughter could have basic life necessities – a safe home, food, and

clothes. Yet she felt down trotted at not having been present in her daughter’s life. There is

exacerbated tension for Rebeca as this worried her for the future as she thought her daughter

would grow up and not love her. Rebeca mothering manages the emotional toll of the father’s

absence, a burden that is ever-present; yet, at the same time, her daily work to provide life

necessities keeps her invisible to her daughter.

Mothers had to select between familial bonding or working extended hours to provide for

their livelihood. Teresa, who worked her way from a cashier and cook at a local taco shop to

owning her own business, explains the only available time she had to eat breakfast with her sons

were either during Christmas or New Year’s Day, since all other days, she had to work.

“Creo que las únicas veces que desayunábamos en casa era Navidad, o Año Nuevo que eran los días que cerraba y este porque siempre, ‘apúrate!’ Hasta los cocinaba a veces un burrito, una quesadilla, un sándwich, algo rápido y corlé a llevarlo a la escuela y al negocio.” (I think the only times we had breakfast at home was Christmas, or New Year’s, which were the days that we closed, and this is because we were always in a hurry! Sometimes I would cook something quick, burrito, a quesadilla, a sandwich, something quick and hurry up, we have to go to school and to the business.)

Teresa shares a glimpse of developing familial bonds with her children, however it was 1-2 times

out of the year. Teresa cultivated her bonds with her son while working since she was not as

present at home. Simple acts of familial bonds were special for Teresa. Other mothers disclosed

feeling overwhelmed by their jobs and downhearted as they were unable to see their children

often. Rebeca provides a glance to her day-to-day during the COVID-19 pandemic. Rebeca

returned to work as California was easing restrictions and risked the health and safety not only

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for herself but for her family. Yet, she needed to work and was unable to see her daughters as

often even when they were home all the time,

“Me voy de aquí a las 6 de la mañana, mi hija está dormida y regreso y ella está en clase y no la miro hasta.. ayer la mire hasta como las 7 de la noche, entonces es bien difícil.” (I leave at 6 in the morning, my daughter is asleep, and I return, and she is in class and I haven’t seen her since… yesterday I looked at her until about 7 at night, so it's very difficult.)

Rebeca feels at a lost, she cannot fathom how her daughters are home all day, yet she sees them

less. Mothers’ working conditions are exacerbated as they are charged to make tactful decisions

for the safety of their family or risk being exposed to COVID-19. As women working within the

informal economy, they are often paid cash and do not have benefits such as healthcare or sick

paid time off, however, they must work to maintain financial stability. Mothers in the work force

are viewed as expendable, therefore make calculated sacrifices regarding care for children and

securing their jobs.

In another example, Emilia highlights how she would always pick up more shifts in case

of unexpected expenses to allocate funds into her savings account,

“Busco trabajo y hago extra. Se siente bien porque no se si me va a faltar un día, y pues ya tengo algo extra.” (I look for work and do extra work. It relaxes me knowing that I work extra in case I miss a day, and then I already have something extra.)

Emilia works within the informal economy as a housecleaner, she exceeds 40-hour work weeks

because she must maintain a steady and stable income. She chooses to work extra to provide for

her family. Antonia also works within the informal economy, and she felt lucky her employers

were accommodating to her needs as a single mother,

“Pedido gracias a Dios me tocó buena suerte con las personas con que trabajaba… Si cuando el estaba chiquito. Lo me llevaba a los trabajos… Gracias a Dios en cada de los trabajos me aceptaban con él.”

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(I thank God I was lucky to work with people… when he was little, I would take him to work… thank you God in each situation my employers were accepting of him.)

Antonia found supportive bosses that would recognize her challenges as a single mother and

sympathize with her,

“Me decían, ‘Sabes que no hay problema, vete a recoger al niño y te lo traes aquí o si está muy malito, vete y no te preocupes, que otro día lo limpias’. ¿O así, verdad? Pero nunca, nunca tuve condonante de eso, si gracias a Dios.” (They would say “You know what there isn't a problem, go pick up your son and bring him here if he is sick or go home. No worries you can clean another day.” I was never condemned for being a mother, thank God.)

Mothers who work in the formal economy have a different experience with their

employers and flexibility in work schedule. The formal economy operates under legislative

guidelines that protect employees from being exploited such as hourly wages and work hours,

possible medical and dental care, union protection, and retirement funds. However, just as there

are benefits in working in the security of the formal economy, there are employer who fringe on

the employee’s job security.

For example, Francisca, works in a hotel and her son broke his arm, she was responsible

for bringing him to his physical therapy appointments. She requested time off from her employer

and at first, her boss accommodated; however, the boss quickly threatened to permanently

remove set hours from her work week:

“Le dije a mi jefe que tenia que ir a llevar a mi hijo para su terapia porque las citas que nos daban no eran los días que descansaba, eran los días que trabajaba y entonces pues dos veces le pedí los días a mi jefe y estuvo bien, pero después cuando ya le dije que tengo cita para llevar a mi hijo, dijo, pues no, no te puedo ni te voy a dar mas días.” (I told my boss that I had to take my son to his therapy appointments. The days they gave us were not the days I had off, they were the days that I worked and then, well, twice I asked my boss for the days off and it was fine. , but later when I told him I needed more days because I have an appointment to take my son, he said, well no, I can't and I'm not going to give you more days.)

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Francisca was met with possible job insecurity as her employer was not understanding or flexible

with the dynamics of unpredictability in single mothering. Francisca was placed in choosing the

health of her son or their income, she ultimately decided she could not risk losing shifts and was

unable to take her son to his appointments. She had to rely on her boss for her son to rely on her

in terms of financial stability. This disempowers her as she cannot risk further advocating for

herself as her boss will be flexible with her work schedule. One may presume mothers like her

are not placing their child first by choosing to work; however, Francisca’s decision would affect

her family more as it jeopardized their livelihood. Mothers sacrifice their emotional and physical

health and at times the well-being for their children for the overall goal to be economically

independent; to achieve the myth of the American Dream.

Teresa recalls her pregnancy experience with her oldest son, she shares she worked until

the day she gave birth,

“Estaba trabajando y tenía [mi ultima] cita [con el doctor] al siguiente día. Me acuerdo que estaba con la panzota y allí alado cocinando chiles rellenos.” (I was working and had [my last] appointment [with the doctor] the next day. I remember I was with my big belly and there I was cooking chiles rellenos.)

She could not lose hours because she knew she would not be working until a minimum of two

weeks after giving birth. Teresa went into labor during one of her shifts, shortly after her boss

asked her to drive to a different store location to check in on the employees, “Me llevaron al

hospital y yo [les dije a los empleados], ‘¡Háblale a mi patrón! ¡Háblale a decirle que no voy a

ir!’” (They took me to the hospital and I [told the employees], ‘Call my boss! Call him to tell

him I'm not going!) Teresa initial thought as she went into labor was to call her boss to let him

know she was not going to make it. Teresa commitment yet excessive toil speaks to how single,

immigrant, Mexican mothers are exploited for their labor.

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Unlike Francisca who had to choose between her son’s health and keeping her workdays,

Emilia and Antonia benefitted from working within the informal economy because of its

flexibility. Emilia and Antonia shared they work 2-3 homes throughout the day, often working 4-

hour shifts for $80, employers sought best for mothers to leave sooner than stay as their presence

may disrupt their own familial bonding. For some mothers, working within the informal

benefitted them positively because they were still paid for their work as they were paid monthly

or biweekly.

“Tienes que Confiar” – Co-Mothering A Network of Collective Care

Mexicana Feminist Mothering generates new ways of mothering as it is grounded in

home and familial values and single motherhood is strenuous, as they must balance work, stress-

management, and childcare. Mothers valued support from loved ones, friends, neighbors,

children’s classmates, and their faith in God to protect them. Mothers share how they cultivated

social networks with others to aid in co-mothering. Alma a single mother of one daughter shares,

“Le agradezco mucho que a puesto personas que no son de mi familia, que no conocía y me han ayudado.” (I am very thankful that people have been placed on my journey who are not my family, who I did not know me, and they have helped me.)

Alma leaned on faith, helping her immensely as she had to learn how to trust others with her

daughter. Mothers cultivated networks within social groups to find childcare. Alma shared

building friendships with other mothers in her daughter’s classroom as part of the process of

learning who to trust with childcare, a key aspect of Mexicana Feminist Mothering. Alma

explains,

“Conocí una señora que se me hizo una persona muy amable y me inspiró confianza. Entonces en ese tiempo yo estaba apenas el trato con la persona que he tenido para trabajar y la señora se acercó a venderme productos de Avon recuerdo y ella me dijo que

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cuidaba niños y qué podría pedirla, por ejemplo, a las otras mamás de niñas que iban el la misma salón.” (I met a lady who seemed humble and confident. So, during that time I was dealing with the person I worked with and I remember this lady approached me to sell me products from Avon… she told me she also cares for children and I could I ask, for example, other mothers in my daughters’ classroom.)

Alma is building social networks with other mothers, as she engaged in conversations with this

woman. She gauged her personality and came to realize this woman was caring and confident.

Although this woman seemed to have good intentions, Alma confides “Tuve que aprender a

confiar en las personas, nunca confiaba en dejar a mi hija con alguien desconocido.” (I had to

learn to trust people, I never trusted to leave my daughter with a stranger). Alma had limited

options to childcare as she could not afford formal daycare. She had to learn to trust others to

take care of her daughter.

Alba similarly recounts the complexity of who to trust to take care of your children.

“Es un poquito complicado porque nunca puedes estar segura que tus hijos están en buenas manos, solamente tienes que confiar.” (It is a bit complicated because you can never be sure that your children are in good hands, you just have to trust.)

Alba, explained how she listened and observed closely to her children’s responses or interactions

dropping and picking them up from their sitter, asking them questions about how their day was

while examining their bodies for bruises or marks,

“Yo tuve suerte porque mis hijos querían mucho a la persona que los cuidaba. Entonces allí fue donde me di cuenta que si los cuidaba bien. Porque siempre los me regresaban y no tenía ni un rasguño ni golpe. Siempre estaban limpiecitos y bien comidos. Entonces tuve suerte de tener una amiga que los me cuidaba bien.” (I was lucky because my children loved the person who cared for them very much. So that's where I realized that they do take good care of them. Because they always came back to me and I didn't have a scratch or a bump. They were always clean and well-fed. So, I was lucky to have a friend who took good care of me.)

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Mothers expressed trust in their babysitters as their children came home fed and taken care of.

Although this is “informal” caregiving as mothers are receiving resources outside of the

institution of formal daycare, there is a process mothers endure to trust community to co-mother.

Mothers personify Mexicana Feminist Mothering as they entrust their children to say and show if

they are treated well by others.

As mothers built social support with other women, childcare was expensive even when

their support system was from family or friends. Teresa shares, “Sí, todo el tiempo busque a

quien me ayudara a cuidar a mis hijos…todo el tiempo pague” (Yes, I also looked for who can

help me take care of my kids… and I paid them each time). As a business owner of a taco shop,

she had the flexibility to bring them and have them sit at a table however, she preferred for them

to be in the comfort of their home. Teresa’s sons were looked after by family members or close

family friends, and she would pay them, “Casi siempre fueron familiares o personas conocidas,

y les pagaba, si vivían allí, los ofrecía comida” (It was almost always family members or close

friends, and I would pay them or offer them food). Moments when Teresa could not pay her

family or close friends, she would offer them food for their services. Within Mexican culture,

food is an offering much more meaningful than money and it symbolizes building and stabilizing

familial relations as it is an alternative way of providing for each other’s collective needs that are

deemed valuable to exchange.

Mothers were challenged as they worked to provide for their children and then had to

work extra hours to pay for childcare. Rebeca shares,

“Yo pagaba para que los cuidaran. Esa es otra cosa, o sea trabajas para poder mantener a tus hijos y también tienes que trabajar para estar pagando quien las cuide, en este caso las cuidaba mi mamá.”

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(I paid for them to take care of them. That is another thing, that is, you work to be able to support your children and you also have to work to be paying whoever takes care of them, in this case my mother took care of them.)

Although Rebeca’s mom looked after her daughters, she still paid her every two weeks for her

care. As a single mother, she worked not only for secure housing and food but also for childcare.

They are not just working for basic necessities but also ensuring the safety of their children while

they are at work. Mothers at times exuberate pride as being able to supplement their income to

pay for childcare reinforces their perception of raising a child on their own. Although single

mothers did much of the parenting alone, they still had to have help from others. Francisca

thanks God for always placing the right people in her life to assist her,

“Gracias a Dios siempre buscaba yo especialmente alguien que vivirían en el área donde yo viviera para cuidarlo. Tuviera a veces en que ella me ayudaba a ir a recogerlos de la escuela si estaban enfermos.” (Thank God I was always looking especially for someone who would live in the area where I lived to take care of him. I had times when she helped me pick them up from school if they were sick.)

Having affordable, safe, and reliable childcare was taxing for mothers who already struggled to

pay their bills. Some mothers sought care in more formal settings such as the YMCA or the Boys

and Girls Club. Valentina shares how she prefers her son to be engaging with other children and

playing games than sitting in front of a TV. “Yo buscaba sitios aunque si fue un poco dificil

porque tuve que pagar mas, claro, a la semana” (I was looking for sites although it was a bit

difficult because I had to pay more, of course, a week). Although difficult, she did not mind

paying extra knowing her son would be active. Gloria shares for her, she had to find after school

programs so she could work more, “Es lo que buscaba programas para que te los cuiden más,

para poder seguir trabajado” (I would look for programs to take care of them more, to be able

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to continue working). Gloria’s statement corresponds to Rebeca’s experience, as mothers must

find reliable childcare to work more.

Mothers testimonios enact Mexicana Feminist Mothering as this section of the findings

highlights mothers trusting their instincts, their children, and community to cultivate co-

mothering. The social capital mothers’ practice is critical to their survival. Mothers find each

other to build rapport and familial ties or find resources and programs in the community to take

care of their children.

“Y Con Respeto” – Cultural Knowledge as Valued Education

Mothers share challenging experiences as they struggle with their inadequate feelings of

formal schooling. At times wrestling with emotions of disappointment and helplessness, they

wanted to engage with the learning material but did not know how. Mothers eagerly taught their

children cultural values and knowledge. While navigating their children’s education in schools.

Mothers began by sharing where they grew up, their family life, and their education. Each

woman’s memory of longing and grieving for a loss of formal schooling pivoted to teaching their

child(ren) life skills. All mothers received formal education in Mexico; however, it did not

exceed the 6th grade. Many had educational aspirations once they came to the United States that

were diminished due to financial instability and limited “free” time. Many of these women had to

prioritize financial security during their adolescent years which prompted them to drop out of

school. Therefore, mothers created learning environments outside of the classroom by teaching

their children skills they have accumulated through their employment, such as counting money

during dull moments or articulating time via analog clocks.

Teresa, who received up to a 3rd grade education in Mexico and attended some high

school in the United Sates and at the time a cashier at a local taco shop stated “le empecé

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enseñar a contar en dinero, le decía ‘mira siéntate aquí te voy a enseñar, junta esto con esto y

ahora cuánto es? Son matemáticas hijo” (I began to show him how to count money, I would say

“Look, sit down and I am going to show you, count this and this, how much is it? Its

mathematics son) in brief moments during her shift, she sat down with her son and taught him

how to count money. Her statement “son matemáticas” is critical to note, as she almost seeks

validation from her son as to what she is trying to teach him relates to his formal school

education. Furthermore, she elaborates,“Y creo que esto les ayudó bastante porque ‘no, no, no,

no, no esperes que la caja te diga cuánto le vas a dar de cambio, no. tu saques tus cuentas’ ósea,

hazle así, así así.” (I think this helped him immensely, because I would say ‘no. no, no, no, no

don’t wait for the cash register to tell you the change, count it, do it like this”) Teresa displays

her insistence in aiding her son by cultivating a learning environment outside of the classroom.

She becomes the teacher in this interaction and continues with “las educación más grande, era

una problema más grande yo no le entiendo. No les puedo ayudar en ese aspecto," (The higher

the education, the bigger the problem, I did not understand it and could not help them in that

aspect). Teresa acknowledged that she was not able to help her sons with their homework but

took it upon herself to teach them mathematics in other forms. Teresa expressed an immense

feeling of guilt as her testimonio highlights the challenges she faced while trying to contribute to

her son’s educational journey. This story serves as an example of educational experiences in

nontraditional settings.

Teresa’s testimonio sets the stage for “Y Con Respeto” – Cultural Knowledge as Valued

Education as this section of the findings captures mothers desire to find opportunities to

participate in their children’s education, despite their lack of formal education and teach their

children what they believe are valuable life skills. This encapsulates Mexicana Feminist

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Mothering and shows how they utilize personal experiences, cultural knowledge, and dedication

to their children’s education to persist against misperceptions of “uneducated” mothers due to

their informal education.

Cultural knowledge is cultivated through lived experiences they are embedded and

practiced in the home. Scholars such as Delgado Bernal’s concept of pedagogies of home places

cultural knowledge at the forefront of knowledge cultivation. Mothers enact pedagogies of home

by using their cultural knowledge to educate their children. Regardless of mother’s formal

education what they do have is cultural knowledge which enacts practices of “good” mothering.

Mothers teach their children personal beliefs, ways of communicating. Through this they develop

their own curriculum. Reimagining cultural knowledge through testimonios reveal how they are

producers of cultural knowledge.

As mothers serve as sites of knowledge, they too expressed how essential a formal

education was for their child(ren). However, they also shared their inability to engage with

course material because of their lack of education. Therefore, mothers’ strategic lessons to

implement respeto is vital as their children’s cultural knowledge reflect their mothering

practices. Respeto sets social expectations for children to be well-behaved and compliant.

Rebeca, who received up to a 3rd grade education explains, “yo siempre les he dicho que en la

escuela y en la farmacia no se compra el respeto.... es algo que nosotros nos inculcaron desde

niña,” (I have always told them, in schools or pharmacies, you cannot buy respect, it is

something that is instilled in us as children). Rebeca understands respeto as a trait passed down

through generations and established in the home. Additionally, Antonia who received up to a 5th

grade education, has similar mothering practices to Rebeca, instilling respeto at a young age for

their children. Antonia shares,

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“Entonces siempre enseñarles el respeto a los tíos y abuelos, digamos que aunque no tuvieran una buena relación con ellos…A respectar a los mayores no importara si no son de su familia. Cuando vean a su tías salúdale y con respeto. Tener que hablarles de ‘usted’ ser respetuosos.” (Therefore, I always told them, show respect to your uncle and grandfathers, even though you may not have a good relationship with them… to respect your elder is important, it doesn’t matter if they are not part of your family. When you see you aunts, greet them and with respect. You have to speak to them with ‘usted’ be respectful.)

In Mexican culture there are two ways to refer to someone and they both represent a different

level of respeto. The term “usted” is the formal way to refer to someone who is older or holds

high status, whereas the term “tu” is informal and viewed as disrespectful. The importance of the

instilling of linguistic capital deems what is a well-educated child. They would utilize “usted” as

it is a marker for educational attainment and social status. When referring to older adults,

Antonia’s testimonio narrates her determination to instill “usted” in her son’s language. Antonia

positions her sons as subordinate; here respect is given not earned, sacrificing her son’s respect

to meet the needs of older family members. Antonia’s mothering practice of indoctrinating

“usted” for her sons to be viewed as respetuosos is critical to how she is viewed as a mother.

By assuming the role as educators of cultural knowledge it is an attest to their commitment to

and involvement in their children’s education.

Mothers understood how difficult it was to navigate parenthood in the United States

without a formal education. As Teresa, Rebeca, and Antonia share the importance of receiving

an education to their children, they utilized their experience of difficult employment to serve as

testimonios for their children to learn from. Alba has a 2nd grade education articulates,

“Yo siempre les decía aquí podían tener todo lo que quieren, todo y si ustedes quieren estudiar, pueden estudiar también. Usaban mi experiencia de vida, para que ellos trataran de pensar en mejorar sus vidas.”

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(I would always tell them here you can have anything you want, anything and if you want an education, you can have an education. I used my lived experience so they could want a better life for themselves).

Alba used her life experience to communicate to her children to want and do better. As she did

not have the opportunity to receive a formal education, she hopes her children will take

advantage of an education. Mother's view education as a symbol of upward social mobility,

therefore pushing their children to commit to their education. Similarly, Francisca has a 4th grade

education and recounts,

“Fue muy difícil para mi, y les decía… yo no estudié… Yo no fui al high school, no me gradué de la high school. Y no sabía ingles… Entonces era como tener el trabajo más pesado para poder trabajar horas extras para poder salir adelante. O sea es algo muy difícil.” (It was very difficult for me, and I told them… I didn't study… I didn't go to high school; I didn't graduate from high school. And I didn't know English ... So, it was like having the heaviest job to be able to work overtime to get ahead. In other words, it’s just hard.)

Francisca was not able to receive an education, she didn’t attend or graduate from high school

resulting in working multiple positions to maintain her home. Being a mother was difficult

because she “lacked” formal schooling, and Francisca has not experienced as “valued”

knowledge her lived experiences and cultural traditions in U.S. society. In the context of

Mexicana Feminist Mothering, Francisca (re)situates herself as possessing linguistical capital by

speaking Spanish and countering that dominant narrative through her own words.

Francisca advice resonates with Rebeca. She, too, advises her daughters to receive an

education, “yo siempre les dije a mis hijas que usted estudian porque no las quiero ver

limpiando casas como yo. Digo, yo no quiero eso, entonces ustedes tienen que estudiar para que

sean mejores.” (I always told my daughters that you study because I don't want to see you

cleaning houses like I do. I mean, I don't want that for you, so you must study to be better).

Rebeca, who arrived in the United States in 1993, wants more for her daughters. She does not

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want them cleaning homes like she does. Rebeca views her job as a housecleaner as exploitative,

she does not receive healthcare, benefits, paid time off, or sick days. She is performing

extraneous labor that is disposable and not deemed respectable labor. Francisca and Rebeca

imply that if they would have received a formal education their mothering experience would

have been smoother as they would have better paying jobs. Whether that would have been the

case is unclear, as immigrant Latina women are exploited by the gender wage gap. Nonetheless,

they want that opportunity available to their children.

The mothers maneuver barriers from within social institutions like schools to help their

children acquire navigational capital based on their abilities and skills to achieve a quality formal

education. Carmen has a 3rd grade education retells her experience of trying to apply for an inter-

district transfer, “Pedi permiso al distrito de Vista y pedí permiso al distrito de Del Mar y no…

no lo me aceptabaron, entonces tenia un address de otra persona.” (I asked Vista and Del Mar

school district for permission, but they denied me, however I had someone’s address.) Carmen

exhibits persistence as she recognizes upper-class neighborhoods receive better funding and

higher quality of education as compared to lower-income communities. She was going to find a

way for her children to attend better school districts, as she could not afford to live in those

neighborhoods. However it caused great tension and stress for her as she discloses, “era mucho

tiempo manejando, pa alla y pa’aca y las dejaba, me iba a trabajar, tenia ya mis casas en los

districtos mejor, sabia la calidad de educación.” (It was a lot of time, driving back and forth. I

would drop them off and head to work. I cleaned homes in these neighborhoods, I knew the

quality of education). Not only did Carmen want her daughters to receive a quality education

(adequate supplies, caring teachers, after-school programs), but she also wanted her daughters to

be surrounded by “good” children. She critiques Vista, as though it is a district where her

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daughters may run into troubled girls, “tal vez iban a encontrar chiquillas con más problemas o

personas con problemas” (Maybe they were going to find girls with more problems or people

with problems). For Carmen, “good” children were characterized as focused on their education

and determined to succeed. Vista is a hyper-criminalized and hyper-surveilled community

predominantly of working class Latinx families. Situated in this community, Carmen recognized

how easily children can be swept in the school-to-prison-pipeline, therefore going to great

lengths for her daughters to not succumb to such predicaments.

As mothers are placed in difficult situations, such as being sole providers, working

extended hours with limited access to childcare, they recognized moments where they

overcompensated and at times neglected involvement in their children’s education. They

combated perceived ideas from administrators or teachers of what a mother is supposed to do to

be active participants in their children’s education such as signing up for the Parent Teacher

Association or volunteering their time for school functions or joining in on activities in the

classroom such as reading time.

Mothers internalized these feelings of not doing or being enough to be “good” mothers.

Mothers indicated they had trouble being active participants with the curriculum because they

did not know what their child was learning. Not knowing how to help but at times just sitting

next to them, learning along with them. Rebeca, 45, and a mother of two girls shares

“Pues yo empecé el kínder con ella… era el nivel básico… entonces, en vez que yo le enseñara pues ella me enseñara a mi muchas cosas pero me gustaba mucho hacer la tarea con ella y pues yo no sabia, no le podía enseñar. Pero aunque estaba muy metida en sus estudios y siempre le decía yo ‘tienes que estudiar, tienes que estudiar’”

(Well, I started kindergarten with her… it was the basic level… so, instead of me teaching her, she taught me many things, but I really liked doing homework with her and well, I didn't know, I couldn't teach her. But although she was very involved in her studies and I always told her "you have to study, you have to study”)

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Although Rebeca may not have been able to help her daughter with her homework, she persists

by aiding her in the ways she knows how, by being by her side. As an example of Mexicana

Feminist Mothering, mothers like her are situated as supportive and nurturing, despite an

inability to help with her homework. Furthermore, Carmen, Francisca, and Alba embrace

Mexicana Feminist Mothering by utilizing the experiential, navigational, and linguistic capital to

help with their children’s education.

Other mothers had differing experiences with helping children develop navigational

capital and achieve a quality formal education. Gloria who has a 6th grade education laments,

“hubiera querido haberlos ayudado más, pero mi grado de estudio no fue más alto” (I would

have liked to have helped them more, but I didn’t study to that grade level). Gloria’s did not see

herself as someone who could contribute to her daughter’s education. Whereas Teresa’s

testimonio situates her in a bind of knowing certain material and accepting when she was no

longer able to engage it.

“Llegaron a un nivel de la escuela donde ya me superaron… Yo ya no podía participar, que ya no entendía lo que ellos estaban viendo porque mis estudios no fueron mas.. mas allá... Por ejemplo las matemáticas, además que yo les podía ayudar en ensenarlos a sumar, dividir, multiplicar y un poquito los cuadrados o fracciones y párale de contar ya no, ya las estas ecuación de que A, B, C y que ya no ya no ósea, ya no y digo pues si me faltó enseñarles todo esto, pero yo no lo sabía y además en inglés.” (They reached a level of school where they already surpassed me…. I could no longer participate, I no longer understood what they were learning because my studies did not go further… further… For example, mathematics, the most I could help them was to add, divide, multiply and a little bit of fractions and stop counting, the equations with A, B, C, I no longer... no longer teach them. Well, what can I say, I wasn’t able to teach them that, and less in English.)

Teresa knew the basics of math; however, it became harder for her to assist her children when

they advanced to algebra or geometry. She strived to help her sons in their education, but

confronted barriers as she did not receive additional formal schooling. She could not help them

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as they advanced in their education. Previously, Teresa mentioned she would sit down with her

sons during her breaks at her job to teach them to count money. She helped them with what she

knew and passed down life skills. Although Teresa no longer knew how to help, she resists

dominant narratives of immigrants as uneducated or lazy as they attempt to be part of their

children’s education.

Mothers exemplifying support and encouragement were at times the only thing they

could offer. As mothers navigate and negotiate their role, their attempts inform their mothering

practices. Mothers knew their involvement in their children’s education would help their child

succeed, yet they could not be present for school functions or they would be constantly running

late. Alba who has a 2nd grade education, reveals in her testimonio how challenging and tiring

being a single mother is; nonetheless finding areas of support to better herself and her children’s

education.

“Como eran tres, a veces las conferencias eran en el mismo día o en dos o tres días y entonces iba a dos de cada uno porque tenía que manejar en una escuela al otro. Siempre llegué tarde a las conferencias, nunca llegue a tiempo y a ayudarles, cómo podemos ayudarlos para hacer sus tareas, los llevaba siempre a la librería para qué hicieran sus tareas. Para cualquier ayuda que hay, allí siempre les ayudaban o los tenia en un programa después de la escuela para que les ayudara con su tarea. Porque pues yo no podía ayudarles porque yo a veces entendía. Porque a veces si y a veces no. Pero si eso fue la mayoría en que no los pude ayuda.” (Since it was three, sometimes the parent-teacher conferences were on the same day or within 2-3 days, so I went to two in a day because I would have to drive from school to school. I was always late to the parent-teacher conferences, I was never on time. And to help them? How could I help them with their homework? For any possible help, I would take them to the library so they could do their homework. There they would always help them, or they had an after-school program so they could help them with their homework. Well, because I couldn't help them with their homework, because sometimes I did not understand. Sometimes yes and sometimes no. So yes, that was how I could help).

Alba accessed her social capital as she utilizes social institutions as systems of support by

locating resources and tutors in the community’s public library. Furthermore, she strategically

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would select one day to attend parent-teacher conferences. Although she was always late to the

meetings, one cannot assume she was not well-intentioned, rather it was due to the times the

meetings were offered that conflicted with her work schedule.

Alma expressed disappointment as she could not attend all her daughters’ ceremonies,

“No siempre podía, porque a veces cuando tenían alguna ceremonia o algo así, yo no podía

estar porque tenía que estar trabajando ese día” (I couldn't always, because sometimes when

they had a ceremony or something like that, I couldn't be there because I had to be working that

day). Being a single working mother, Alma wasn’t afforded the privilege to arrive or leave work

as she pleased. Her lowly position in the formal economy makes her easily replaceable.

Therefore, Alma negotiates between having to maintain a stable income to provide for her

daughters, yet not be present in moments that facilitate family bonding. She is tasked with what

is perceived as “good” mothering, working to provide safe housing, food, and other amenities, or

joining festivities, but she cannot do both.

Double parenting masculinity in sons motivated Antonia, as she juggled her sons’

academics, extra-curricular activities, and her employment. She shared “siempre andaba a la

carrera” (I was always in a hurry) since she would drive back and forth between school, and her

son’s sports games, and work. Her key for successfully balancing the demands of single

motherhood was keeping her sons busy to deter them from trouble,

“Decía van estar en el deporte, van a conocer niños que saben el deporte también y no a niños que andan en la calle, juntándose haciendo travesuras, o en ese tiempo habían muchos cholos.” (I would say they are going to be in sports, they are going to meet children who know sports as well and not children who were on the streets, getting together doing mischief, during this time there were a lot of cholos).

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Antonia believed placing her sons in sports would keep him from “bad” children. She

characterized “bad” children as those who were on the streets which are often given the term

cholos. The term cholos represents a sub-culture of Mexican people who are hyper-criminalized

and perceived racially deviant. She did not want her son to be seen as callejeros, implying they

do not have familial values otherwise they would be home. Therefore, she did not mind her

hectic schedule because she wanted to her son to be kept busy. Mothers in this study practice the

analytical framework of Mexicana Feminist Mothering, mujer-centered knowledge as it serves as

a guide to their mothering practices by teaching and learning ways rooted in Mexican culture for

the visions of family, respeto and cultural values.

“Perdóname Pero Estaba Trabajando – Lingering Emotional Toll for “Not Being There”

Mothers wrestle with mixed emotions because their children have grown into teenagers

and young adults who reprimand and question their mothers. Rebeca laments and asks for

forgiveness as her daughter now asks where she was,

“Perdóname pero estaba trabajando no puedo estar allá y estar aquí. Entonces uno les hace daño también estar trabajando demasiado. Pero no puede uno dejar de trabajar porque están los billes esperando... y la renta... y la ropa... y los zapatos.. y la comida. Es difícil.” (Forgive me, but I was working. I couldn’t be in two places at once. Therefore, it causes some damage to always be working. But one can’t stop, you have bills… the rent… clothes… shoes… food. It is hard.)

As a single mother, Rebeca had to work to provide for her family. She lists all her worries to

supplement for her reasoning being absent, as she felt she did not have a choice. Rebeca’s

experience resonates with many other mothers who longed to be more present in their child(rens)

lives yet were not given that opportunity because of work. They were starkly aware of their

vulnerable position within the informal economy. Francisca shares,

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“Teníamos que trabajar bien y no tuve tiempo porque en trabajar traes dinero para pagar la renta los billes. Ya y es hard. Pero hay veces que cuando no entienden oh como "tú no estuviste conmigo cuando yo te necesitara.. o para que me ayudares con algo y that hurts.” (We had to work well, and I didn’t have time because when you work you bring in money to pay the bill. And it is hard. But there are times where they don’t understand and say “well you weren’t there for me when I needed you, or to help me” and that hurts.)

Both Rebeca and Francisca sacrificed time with their child to work. For mothers working was for

survival, it was not an option. As it pains mothers now to hear their children express

disappointment in their absence, mothers hope their children will one day understand their

sacrifices and that at most they were present and at least there. Teresa shares how her sons

remind her about her absence of school events,

“Me dicen, ‘Ama nunca ibas a las juntas o las reuniones entre maestro y madre’ pero pues, las cosas de un trabajador, hubiera querido estar bien metiche en la escuela. Bueno no, no tenía el tiempo. Eso es lo que me faltó. A ver, a ver sido metiche en la escuela.” (They say, “Mom you never would go to the parent-teacher conferences” but those are the things about working, I would have loved being more involved in their education, but I didn’t have time. And that is what I missed, being involved in their education.)

Teresa yearns for moments that can never be returned. Her sons are now young adults, and she

missed out routine parent involvement in children’s education, like parent-teacher conferences.

However, mothers are continuously placed in positions to choose between work and school

events, as most meeting times were between 12:00PM-4:00PM, and schools did not

accommodate to mothers’ shifting and complicating schedules. Gloria shares, “Tienes que tomar

las decisiones, aunque sean fuertes las tienes que tomar por el bienestar de tus hijos” (You

have to make these decisions, even though they are difficult, you have to do them for the

betterment of your children.) Mothers are placed in difficult predicaments, and they must make

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painful decisions, but they believe those decisions are the best for their child(ren), regardless of

if they are not the best decisions later on.

Their children’s perspective is important in understanding their mothering. Carmen

defends her intentions to her daughters as they now criticize her mothering techniques believing

their mother did not love them.

“Aunque ahora me dicen que les gritaba, pero yo tenía que hablarles fuerte porque pensaba que era la única forma que me iban a entender o obedecer, pero no… no era porque yo no las quisiera.” (Although now they tell me I yelled at them, but I had to speak to them in that manner because it was the only way they would listen and obey, but it wasn’t because I didn’t love them)

Carmen pauses as she tries to hold back tears because her decisions during early motherhood

gravely affects the relationship with her daughters to the present day. Mexicana Feminist

Mothers may not be understood by their children. The performance of mothering is constantly

shifting to meet the demands of each woman, and is incomplete, vulnerable, and at times distant.

Mexican Feminist mothers express love differently: mothers want their children to know and

understand their reasoning, hoping their children will come to understand on their own their

mothering decisions as an expression of respeto. Mothers negotiate between cultural

constructions of good mothering in the United States as they are racialized and marginalized

within the context of forging new identities and expectations from U.S. mothering roles.

“¿Como lo Hice?” – El Orgullo de Ser Madre Soltera

Mothers expressed how proud they were not only of their children but about themselves,

for making it. There were instances throughout the interviews where mothers paused and thought

“Como lo hice” (How did I do it?) and they couldn’t answer, they just knew they had no other

choice but to succeed.

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Mothers’ grandest moments of fulfillment were in knowing they rose above obstacles to

provide for their children’s education, safety, and health. Rebeca shared, “Yo siempre tuve la

mentalidad de que íbamos a salir adelante de cualquier manera.” (I’ve always had the mentality

that we were going to make it, no matter what.) She did not allow fear to guide her decisions,

rather by faith – and knowing she was going to find a way. At times decisions were made not

according to what is best for either her or her child, but decisions were made out of necessity,

“Tengo que seguir para salir adelante” (I have to keep overcoming this).

Yet, mothers did not pity themselves for their disadvantages, at times not even viewing

their identities as a marker for disadvantage because they were prideful in knowing they were

succeeding without a father’s involvement or financial support. Antonia says,

“En ningun tiempo dije ‘No voy a poder’ o esto y el otro. No, yo jamás le dije, sabes que yo no tengo para pañales o no tengo para leche. Jamás le pedí para mantener a mi hijo….es que yo le he sacado por adelante.” (I never said, “I can’t do this,” I would never say that, sometimes I wouldn’t have enough for diapers or milk, but I never asked them for help… because I have overcome this)

Antonia does not bother the father of her son because she does not doubt her ambitions in

succeeding. Engaging with Mexican Feminist Mothering, she recognizes her agency and

authority of as a mother and woman and is determined to persevere. Carmen’s testimonio,

“Nunca le pedí child support. Nunca le pedí nada….Para mi madre soltera siento que fue difícil, pero también me siento orgullosa de que supe sacar a mis hijas adelante. No fueron unas como su padre…. una vez me dijo ‘Hay tres mujeres, se van a llenar de hijos’ y yo le dije ‘No, veras que no se van a llenar de hijos.’ Y miró a su hija mayor recibirse de [University]. Y estaba orgullosa, el hombre orgulloso… de qué? Pero bueno, madre soltera. Y yo sufrí. No, no sufrí, pero sí batallamos.” (I never asked for child support, I never asked him for anything…. I feel like being a single mother was difficult, but I also feel proud that I knew how to help my daughters succeed. They weren’t like… their dad once said, “Three women, they are just going to end up with a bunch of kids” and I told him, ‘No, just wait, they will not” And he saw his oldest daughter graduate from [University]. And he was proud, the man proud… of what? Well then, being a single mother. I suffered, well, no, I didn’t suffer but it was difficult.)

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Carmen shares one of her biggest accomplishment as a single mother was all three of her

daughters graduated from a university, proving the father wrong. Carmen felt adamantly in

proving him wrong because of stereotype Mexican women bearing numerous children by a

young age will not succeed in life. Carmen scorns their father, because “Salí adelante yo sola,

sin ayuda de nadie. Es un orgullo para mi” (I overcame this alone, without anyone’s help. It is

my achievement). Carmen’s views her daughters’ accomplishments as her accomplishments

because they succeeded because of her.

Rebeca and Francisca similarly share their pride comes from being undocumented and

Mexicana,

“Me siento muy orgullo de ser Mexicana y de trabajar duro para sacar adelante mis hijos,” and “El más grande orgullo es saber que tu cruzaste siendo indocumentado… y tienes el orgullo de mirar tus hijos crecer en los Estados Unidos.” (I feel so proud being Mexican and working hard to have successful children.) and (The proudest achievement is knowing I crossed the border undocumented… and having the honor to see them grow up in the United States.)

These mothers testimonios demonstrate their commitment to bettering the lives of their children

by any means necessary. Mexicana Feminist Mothering centers mothers’ ambitions and

determination as woman in this study are meant to feel empowered. Valentina shares,

“Todos se puede en esta vida. Pa mi yo no veo ninguna problema en el camino. A veces muchos piensan que no pueden salir adelante que no tiene el apoyo de alguien o no de un esposo y lo usan como una atrape a decir ‘que no puedo porque soy mamá soltera,’ pero si puedes.” (You can do anything in life. For me I don’t see any problem. A lot of times people think that you cannot overcome something because they don’t have the support of someone else or from their husband and they use it to say “I can’t do this as a single mother” but you can.)

Through testimonios mothers encompass ever-changing circumstances and mothers constantly

negotiate between perceived best practices for their children. Valentina expresses anything is

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possible in this life, as a single mother she will not be limited by other perceptions of herself; she

and her son will prevail. Mothers from marginalized communities do not value being pitied, and

they do not need a man to triumph. They (re)construct gender norms and expectations by

creating new forms of families or obstructing the notion of men as economic providers.

However, mothers are still left with the idea of, ¿Cómo lo hice? This indicates for Mexicana

Feminist Mothering that some questions concerning motherhood may be left unanswered, as

mothers were mothering under resistance and survival.

Mothers found strength and joy in their children because their mothering techniques

made them proud. Alma shared a story of her daughter skipping school for senior ditch day, she

was not angry at her daughter but proud of her daughter for coming forth with the truth. Alma

shares,

“Entonces ahí es cuando te pones a pensar y dices ‘Si ha valido la pena’ ósea todo lo que has hecho, todo lo que ha pasado y todo por lograr tener a una hija como tú quieres que sea, Tú sientes que es lo mejor y eso es ella y es especial.”

(Therefore, that’s when you are left to think, and ask yourself “Has it all been

worth it?” I mean, everything you have done, everything that has happened for you to achieve a daughter that you want to have, you feel your best and that is very special.)

Alma’s hardships as a single mother have been worth it to her because she perceives her

daughter as an honest woman. She was unable to celebrate the joys of motherhood because she

was constantly just getting by. Mothers in this study found happiness in spending time with

children as they get older. Emilia youngest children still live with her and she loves spending

quality time with them, “me siento muy orgullsa de que puedo convivir con ellos y estar con

ellos y que horita estamos feliz todas.” (I feel proud that I spend time with them and be around

them and we are happy now). As her children are now adults they contribute more to house

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duties, and Emilia does not feel the pressure since they can tend to themselves. Antonia similarly

shares, that her oldest son decided to move back in with her.

“Y me decía Mamá, cómo le haces? Le digo porqué? Dice por qué ganas bien poquito y siempre había dinero. Le digo... pues no se hijo... Trata uno de ver lo que esta en venta, de gastar lo menos posible y dice todavía ahorros y le digo, pues si.. mi mama siempre nos enseno así. O sea gastabas y todo, pero siempre tenias algo para que cuando necesitaras, verdad. Y dice, yo no se como lo haces, y le digo pues tienes que fijarte.” (And her would ask me, “Mom how did you do it?” He’d say, “because you would make so little but you always had money” and I told him, “Well I don’t know son, one tries to see what’s for sale, to spend as little money as possible.” He’d ask me “and you still save?” and I said, “Well yes, my mom taught me” Like spend but also have something extra in case you need it. And he said, “I don’t know you do it” And I said “You have to focus yourself.)

Mothers disclose techniques of protecting their children from the realities of hardship and

sacrifice. Antonia shares, “tienes que fijarte” (you need to focus) you need to focus as a token of

support to her son. Similarly other mothers look back and don’t know or remember how they

made it work. Living from a place of survival limits one to live within the joy of being a mother,

however reflecting now has allowed women in this study to do so.

Mothers contemplate “What if” scenarios, although their children are now adults, it

would be important for relational development between mother and child to sit down and

communicate about why mothers did what they did. However, mothers expressed how they

assume their children believe they are “bad” mothers. Gloria shares,“Mi hija, de seguro dice que

fui y soy una mala mama” (I’m sure my daughter says I was and am a bad mother) likewise

Carmen shares “Mis hijas creen que fui mala pero, no se” (My daughters believe I was mean,

but I don’t know). Other mothers describe where they believe they could have been better

mothers. Alma shares, “Quizás tenga un poquito más paciente porque dice que soy muy

impaciente” (Perhaps have a bit more patience, because they say I was very impatient) and

Teresa shares,

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“Creo que a mí me falta eso con mis hijos yo nunca lo abrazo, nunca los beso, nunca les dijo que los quiero. Por qué? Porque mi papá y mi mamá nunca hicieron eso.” (I think that’s what’s missing between me and my sons, I never hug them, kiss them, I never tell them I love them. Why? Because my parents never did that with me.)

Teresa’s sons are now all in their early to mid-20s, she says she would love to get to a point

where she feels comfortable showing love to her children, but she is not ready. Mexicana

Feminist Mothering serves as understanding the ways in which mothers navigating single,

immigrant, Mexican motherhood, and mothering. Mothers have been perceived “bad” because

they fall out of social norms of mothering as they are not married or stay-at-home mothers, yet

they still resist these standards by surviving under strenuous conditions.

It was an honor to listen to these women’s stories, many expressed this interaction being

the first time sharing their experience of single motherhood. Through mother’s testimonios, I

heard grief, sadness, joy, and hopefulness as they navigated raising their children in a single

woman led household. Our conversations were all through a phone call except two, some

mothers shared they could only fit this interview after a long day of work either driving home or

just arriving to their home, in between their breaks, or found a moment during their busy day to

sit down and share their story. As the daughter of a single immigrant, Mexican, mother I better

understood the dynamics of what my mother encountered and how her experiences are not

monolithic, rather a shared collective of experiences from other mothers.

SIGNIFICANCE & RECOMMENDATIONS The purpose of this research is to document the lived experiences of single immigrant

Mexican mothers. Their mothering stems from sites of stories, knowledge, struggles, and

histories (Smith Silva 2014). This research allows us to better understand a vulnerable and vital

population within North County San Diego. Understanding how these mothers live, helps us

understand their fears, hesitations, or doubt in institutions that inhibit their mothering practices.

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Mothers are the driving force for this study and their testimonios deconstruct hegemonic

narratives that fail to see the value in their lived experiences (Delgado Bernal 1998).

For those outside of the community, becoming aware of how mothers negotiate and

navigate their identity allows us to empathize and understand their ways of mothering as unique

and ever shifting. Focusing on the experiences of single, immigrant, Mexican mothers reveals

their “importance of working for the physical survival of [their] children and community”

(Nakano Glenn 1994: 7), as they are raising the next generation. By understanding how mothers

traverse institutions we humanize them as people rather than criminalize them or deem them as

deviant mothers because we come to understand their reasoning and decision-making through

Mexicana Feminist Mothering; that is, influenced by cultural values and the pursuit of bettering

not only themselves but for their children.

This qualitative research contributes to the literature of mothering and motherhood by

documenting the lived experiences of single, immigrant, Mexican mothers through testimonios.

Testimonios allows scholars to theorize about personal experiences of struggle, survival, and

resistance (Latina Feminist Group 2001), by doing so Mexican women reveal and foreground

their overlapping identities to cultivate unique commonalities. This research (re)introduces new

possibilities for testimonios in qualitative research. As testimonios develop new ways of knowing

and learning from participants as they (re)construct and (re)tell their lived experiences and how it

has come to shape their lives. Theoretically, single, immigrant, Mexican mothers have not been

theorized through Feminist or Empowered Mothering models; thus, incorporating the analytic of

Mexicana, Community Cultural Wealth, and mujer-centered knowledge we come to understand

how mothers navigate motherhood and mothering.

As single, immigrant, Mexican mothers are sites of knowledge, they offered consejos for

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mothers with similar experiences. Valentina a mother of one boy, shares, “Echarle ganas,

trabajarle. Muchas dicen que no hay tiempo, pero si hay y si lo quieres, lo haces” (Work for it,

some say there isn’t time, but there is, if you want it, you’ll do it). Valentina’s words of

affirmations serve as reminders for other women to persist through challenges. Emilia a mother

of five shares,

“Si te calles te puedes levantar otra vez, entonces en esas caídas haces decisiones que no son muy buenas pero para la próxima ya sabes cuales son malas y buenas” (If you fall, you can uplift yourself again, so in those falls you make decisions, that may not be good ones but for next time you’ll know the good ones from the bad ones.

Emilia’s insight speaks to mothers feeling allowed to admit their mistakes and learning from

their decisions to do and be better. Gloria, a mother of two, shares, “Darles puro amor, sus hijos

son los mas valocios” (Give them pure love, your children are the most precious thing). Even

amid uncertainty, reminding mothers to love.

There must be practical approaches implemented to support working mothers. As single,

immigrant, Mexican mothers must work to provide for their children, they must be compensated

properly to maintain a steady income without worries. Mothers in this study worked either in the

formal or informal economy or simultaneously in both to supplement income. Employers must

offer pay increase to match the cost of living and shift their perception of immigrant woman’s

labor as dispensable. In addition, there must be flexible schedules with their children’s schools.

For example, parent-teacher conferences are traditionally held between 12pm-4pm. Alba, a

mother of three, shares “Siempre llegué tarde a las conferencias, nunca llegue a tiempo” (I was

always late to the conferences, I never arrived on time.) These conferences are scheduled during

the times mothers work, schools must offer times that are flexible or offer alternative ways of

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meeting such as a phone call.

The United States is an individualistic and capitalistic society, there are minimal

resources (childcare, employment, pathways to citizenship outside of marriage, education) for

single, immigrant, Mexican mothers. They work within the informal and formal economy as

housekeepers, maids, farmworkers, factory workers, or local restaurants - as disposable labor

within a global capitalist system of migration that organized their earlier decisions to migrate to

the United States at all. A system that relies on such labor reproduces structural inequities that

are experienced daily for these mothers in terms of being unable to meet their own and their

children’s needs on one salary or being forced to work multiple positions or extended hours to

qualify for overtime.

The dominant narrative of single mothers, immigrant mothers, and Mexican mothers as

deviant and underserving must shift as they are a critical population to communities. Policies

concerning immigration, childcare, and new mothers and employment must be formulated to

help mothers succeed institutionally.

CONCLUSION

Single, immigrant, Mexican mothers’ stories are told from ever-shifting circumstances of

unpredictability, survival, and resistance. This qualitative research highlights the complexities of

mothering for 10 single, immigrant, Mexican mothers and through their testimonios we come to

understand their experiences. Mexicana Feminist Mothering serves to amplify their voices who

have institutionally been silenced. They share the difficulties of single motherhood which

includes employment, childcare, their “role” in their children’s education, and reflections of

lingering feelings of being a better mother and simultaneously feeling proud of themselves for

saliendo adelante.

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The complexity of their identities informs their day-to-day struggles and ambitions. They

(re)adapt, (re)shift), and forge new ways of mothering to overcome precarities. Single,

immigrant, Mexican mothers are not meant to be “good” mothers as they deviate from standards

of social norms of mothers. New ways of mothering deviates from the definition of “good”

mothers as being white, married, full-time stay at home mothers, and middle class (Glenn 1994;

Christopher 2012; O’Reilly 2014). Documenting the mothering practices of single, immigrant,

Mexican mothers cultivates new ways of studying mothering and motherhood as they enact day-

to-day practices that reframe familial life through personal stories of resilience, navigate

institutions to build social and familial capital, and reinvent gender roles and expectations within

the Mexican culture. This project serves to say there are no “bad” mothers, rather there are

under-supported mothers, under-resources mothers, and traumatized mothers. Social systems

such as the nuclear family that uphold patriarchy and the white-American ideals of mothering

negate the value of single, immigrant, Mexican mothers as they are not meant to prevail to be

“good” mothers for their children.

This work emerged from my own experience as the daughter of a single, immigrant,

Mexican mother. I am honored to have been able to listen, document, and write about their

experiences. I began by escuchando (listening) differently, con corazon (heart) y con confianza

(trust) to create space for mothers as for some this was the first time being interviewed.

Testimonios shift understandings of who is considered marginalized, as we are both carriers and

producers of knowledge. The theoretical framework of Mexicana Feminist Mothering bridges the

identities of Mexicana, feminist, and mothering to tap into the intricacies of mothering from their

perspective. This framework also allows readers to view their mothering not from a deficit

perspective as mothers are resilient.

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There is a growing population of non-nuclear traditional families. Sociologists and

scholars in related disciplines must engage in conducting research to learn from new forms of

families, especially within the multidimensional and multifaceted households led by women.

Single, immigrant, Mexican mothers are a unique set of identities that must continue to be

studied as their lives are ever shifting. We can learn much from their contributions.

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APPENDIX A – Interview Dates Alma interviewed on January 4, 2021 Teresa interviewed on January 12, 2021 Rebeca interviewed on January 14, 2021 Francisca interviewed on January 21, 2021 Gloria interviewed on January 21, 2021 Valentina interviewed on January 23, 2021 Emilia interviewed on January 30, 2021 Alba interviewed on February 15, 2021 Antonia interviewed on February 25, 2021 Carmen interviewed on February 27, 2021

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APPENDIX B – Spanish Interview Questions Vamos a empezar con algunas preguntas iniciales para conocerte 1. Cuénteme sobre usted. De su vida de niña, adolecente, y adulta. 2. Por que migro a los Estados Unidos? Cuantos años tenia? Cuénteme de su experiencia desde

cuando cruzo, cuando llego, y que hizo cuando estaba adentro de los Estados Unidos? 3. ¿Cuánto tiempo ha vivido en San Diego?

a. Cuando llego a los Estados Unidos, quien le consiguió el trabajo? 4. ¿Qué tipo de trabajo haces?

a. En su trabajo, como le pagaban? Por hora o por día? b. ¿Hay otros trabajos que hayas tenido? c. ¿Trabajaba varios trabajos cuando su(s) hijo(s) eran menores de 10 años? d. ¿Tenía un sistema de apoyo para ayudar a cuidar de sus hijos cuando estaba en el

trabajo?

Las siguientes preguntas son sobre ser madre soltera, immigrante, y mexicana. 5. ¿Qué significa para usted ser madre soltera inmigrante y Mexicana?

o ¿Cómo describirías su experiencia? 6. ¿Qué es el mas grande orgullosa de ser madre soltera, inmigrante, y Mexicana?

Las siguiente preguntas van hacer sobre el papa de su(s) hijo(s) 7. ¿Está(n) su(s) padre(s) en sus vidas?

o En caso que si, ¿Cómo está involucrado? o ¿Cómo se sintió al tomar decisiones primarias acerca de su(s) hijo(s)? Por

ejemplo, de su salud física y educación. o Tiene azeguransa de cuidado de salud para usted y sus hijos? (i.e., medical) Como

escucho de este recurso? 8. Cual es el arreglo entre tus hijos y su padre?

• ¿Le ayuda con dinero mensual? • ¿Los ve frecuentemente?

Las siguiente preguntas serán sobre su(s) hijo(s) 9. ¿Cuántos hijos tienes/que son sus edades? (age, education, do they live with you, how were

they as children/teens/adults) 10. Platíqueme sobre como a criado a sus hijo/as. 11. Cómo le fue en la escuela a su(s) hijo(s)?

a. ¿Esteban involucrados en clubs o otras actividades para continuar su éxito? b. ¿Qué fue lo más difícil para ellos? Por ejemplo, la materia? No poder estar

involucrados en actividades por falta de recursos? 12. ¿Cómo cree que usted estuvo involucrado en la educación de sus hijo/as? 13. Hábleme de como le enseñaba lecciones importantes a su hijo/as.

a. ¿Qué tácticas utilizaba? Por ejemplo usaba historias, sus propias experiencias, o le modelaba ejemplos

14. Puede compartir cuándo las cosas eran más difíciles con sus hijos? a. Desarrollo de los niños: años de escuela primaria, años de adolescencia, etc. b. ¿Cómo disciplinarías a tus hijos?

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• ¿Cómo lo manejaste? o ¿Qué estaba pasando con sus otros hijos durante este tiempo? (If they have more

than one child) 15. ¿Alguna vez hubo un día que sus hijos estaban enfermos y tuvieron que quedarse en casa?

a. Que hiso usted? Se quedo en la casa con ellos? Los cuidaban los vecinos? Familia?

b. ¿Cómo fue eso? ¿Como decidiste en quien confiar? c. Tubo que pagar por que los cuidaran?

16. Pensando en cuando sus hijos eran más pequeños, ¿puede compartir qué tipos de cosas harían? (Tradiciones, tiempo de diversión familiar o sobre hacer cosas juntos?)

a. Era importante para usted enseñarles sobre su cultura? 17. Ahorita, ¿que hacen para seguir con sus tradiciones y cultura? Le voy a preguntar sobre su relación con su madre y las diferencias de ser madre en los estados unidos y en México. 18. Cuando piensas en su infancia y quién la crio, que se viene en mente? 19. Como era su madre con usted? Puede explicarme su relación? 20. Cual es la diferencia de practicas de madre en México contra los Estados Unidos? 21. En su caso, como describiría en el amor de una madre?

Pensando en el pasado 22. ¿Hay cosas que habrías hecho de otra manera? 23. ¿Qué es una cosa que desearía haber sabido cuando comenzó la maternidad?

Ya casi terminamos con la entrevista 24. ¿Qué tipo de consejo tienes para otras madres que comparten experiencias similares contigo? 25. ¿Hay algo que le gustaría agregar que tal vez yo no le pregunte? 26. ¿Tiene alguna pregunta para mí?

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APPENDIX C – English Interview Questions Let's start with some initial questions to get to know you

1. Tell me about yourself. From your childhood, adolescent, and adulthood. 2. Why did you migrate to the United States? How old were you? Please share a bit about

your experience crossing, when you arrived, and what did you do once you arrived in the United States?

3. How long have you lived in San Diego? o When you arrived to the United States, who got you a job?

4. What type of work do you do? o How do you get paid? By the hour or by the day? o Are there other jobs you have had? o Did you work multiple jobs when your child(ren) were under the age of 10? o Did you have a support system to help take care of your children when you were

at work? The next questions are going to be about being a single, immigrant, Mexican mother.

5. What does it mean to you to be a single immigrant and Mexican mother? o How would you describe your experience?

6. What is your proudest moment of being a single, immigrant, Mexican mother? The following questions will be asked about your child's father (s)

7. Is their father involved in their lives? o If yes, how are they involved? o If not, how did you feel about making primary decisions about your child(ren).

For example, your physical health and education. o Do you have health care insurance for you and your children? (i.e., medi-cal)

How did you hear about this resource? 8. What is the arrangement between your children and their father?

o Does it help you with monthly money? o Does he see them frequently?

The next questions will be about your child(ren)

9. How many children do you have? What are their ages? (age, education, do they live with you, how were they as children / teens / adults)

10. Tell me about how you raised your children. 11. How did your child (ren) do in school?

o Were they involved in clubs or other activities to continue their success? o What was the most difficult for them? For example, the subject? Not being able to

be involved in activities due to lack of resources. 12. How do you think you were involved in the education of your children? 13. Tell me about how you taught your child important lessons.

o What tactics did you use? For example, stories, personal experiences, or modeled examples for them?

14. Can you share when things were most difficult with your children? o Child development: elementary school years, teenage years, etc.

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o How would you discipline your children? • How did you handle it?

o What was happening to your other children during this time? (If they have more than one child)

15. Was there ever a day that your children were sick and had to stay home? o What did you do? o Did you stay home with them? Did the neighbors take care of them? Family? o How was that? How did you decide who to trust? o Did you have to pay them?

16. Thinking back to when your children were younger, can you share what kinds of things they would do? (Traditions, family fun time, or about doing things together?)

o Was it important to you to teach them about your culture? 17. What do you do to continue with your traditions and culture?

I'm going to ask her about her relationship with her mother and the differences between being a mother in the United States and in Mexico.

18. When you think about your childhood and who raised you, what comes to mind? 19. How was your mother with you? Can you explain your relationship to me? 20. What is the difference in mothering practices between Mexico and the United States? 21. In your case, how would you describe a mother's love?

Thinking about the past…

22. Are there things you would have done differently? 23. What is one thing you wish you had known before beginning motherhood?

We are almost done with the interview…

24. What kind of advice do you have for other mothers who share similar experiences with you?

25. Is there anything you would like to add that I may not ask you? 26. Do you have any questions for me?

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Mothering Experiences of Single Immigrant Mexican Mothers

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