Listening to the voices of Syrian women refugees in Jordan: Ethnographies of

Displacement and Emplacement

By

Ruba Al Akash & Karen Boswall

ABSTRACT

In the border town of Irbid, in Northern Jordan, five refugee camps host more than

quarter of a million refugees, the majority of whom are women. Outside of the

camps the population of the towns and villages along the border have doubled since

the beginning of the Syrian crisis in 2011 bringing the number of refugees in this

border area of Jordan to over half a million. Many of these refugees are from the

rural communities of and around Dera’a where the socio-local practices differ to

those of their Jordanian neighbours and it is not uncommon for girls to marry and

bear children at a very young age, while educating girls is still uncommon. The

harshness and isolation of the life of some Syrian refugee women is not fully realized

or adequately documented. This paper is an ethnographic exploration of the real

desires and needs of these Syrian refugee women. Looking into their life stories and

narratives and their extraordinary journey of arriving in new surroundings and

adapting to a new daily life. We hope this will contribute to the rethinking of the

place of women refugees in Jordanian society and offer new anthropological

perspectives on the impact the challenging socio-cultural environments of Irbid –

Jordan is having on them and their children. This paper asks if the needs of the

refugees can be met in Irbid? What is the role of Jordanian authorities and

international agencies in supporting Syrian women (inside and outside the camps)?

Are the voices of the Syrian women are being heard?

Locating the Study

The UNHCR estimate that by the end of 2014 there will be over

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4 million Syrians seeking refuge in the neighbouring countries

of Jordan, Lebanon, Turkey and Iraq and Egypt making this “one

of the largest refugee crises in recent history” 1. Jordan

currently hosts nearly a quarter of these refugees2, mostly in

non-camp environments3 in the poorer Northern Governates of

Irbid and Mafraq. Over 80% of these refugees are women and

children.4 With the high numbers of refugees entering Jordan

on a daily basis5, the international agencies initially

focussed their efforts on the complex challenges of providing

emergency relief6. Two years into the crisis, however, in July

2013, it became increasingly clear that new ‘comprehensive and

proactive strategies’ were required to ‘focus on more

extensive and effective outreach to out-of-camp refugees’7. The

majority of the Syrians in Jordan had been ‘voting with their

feet’ (Ferguson, 2007), resorting to often extreme measures to

be able to leave the Refugee Camps and settle in the nearby

towns and villages, some even preferring to return to Syria

1 UNHCR, “2014 Syria Regional Response Plan,” December 16, 2013. Accessed February 21st, 2014,http://www.unhcr.org/syriarrp6/docs/Syria-rrp6-full-report.pdf2 Numbers of Syrian refugees in Jordan was 576,420 on Feb 23rd 2013 of a total of 2,499,323 inthe region. on Feb 23rd 2013 updated daily on https://data.unhcr.org/syrianrefugees/regional.php3 The UNHCR estimated in the above report in December 2013 that the number of refugees living in non-camp settings in Jordan would rise from 81% to 84% by the beginning of 20144 Figure provided by UNHCR Protection chief Volker Turk at a conference in London in December 2013 http://www.unhcr.org.uk/news-and-views/news-list/news-detail/article/unhcrs-protection-chief-sees-key-role-in-future-for-syrian-refugee-women.html (accessed Fe 21 2014)5 In October 2013 it was estimated that 6,000 Syrians were fleeing the country every day. See http://www.mercycorps.org/articles/iraq-jordan-lebanon-syria/quick-facts-what-you-need-know-about-syrian-refugee-crisis accessed 24 Feb 20136 The first anti-government demonstrations were in the city of Daraa in March 2011. By July this had spread into armed conflict and Syrians began to seek refuge in neighbouring countriessoon after. 7 See: PDES/2013/13 July 2013 “From slow boil to breaking point: A real-time evaluation ofUNHCR’s response to the Syrianrefugee emergency” http://www.alnap.org/resource/8848 where itwas deemed ‘essential’ that ‘UNHCR national and international staff, as well as partners, areregularly present in communities, working with them to address the challenges they face’

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than remain in the camps8. In the 8 months between April and

December 2013, thousands of refugees continued to enter Jordan

each week, however, the population of Za’atari, the largest

refugee camp in Jordan dropped by 40%9. Although much effort

has gone into ensuring the needs of the vulnerable population

of the camps are protected, there are now concerns that the

hundreds of thousands of women and children who have left the

camps are at greater risk of a series of threats including

“recruitment by armed groups, including of under-aged

refugees; labour exploitation, including child labour; early

marriage; as well as domestic, sexual and gender-based

violence”.10 A Harvard Field Study11 published in January 2014

argues that without ‘innovative and creative programmatic

responses’, the presence of such large number of refugees

living outside the camps in Northern Jordan could increase the

instability in the region. We conducted a series of interviews

with women refugees who have been living outside the camps in

8 In August 2013, in a meeting between the UNHCR and the governer of Daraa Mohammad Khaled al-Hannous, it was stated that nearly 2800 family had already returned to Daraa from al-Za'atari camp in Jordan. See https://www.facebook.com/SyrianArabNewsAgencySana/posts/6100670823491569 Figures provided by the Harvard Field Sudy group 2014. Calculated from data available on UNHCR’s Syria Regional Response Inter-agency Information Sharing Portal. Population flow examined from April 23, 2013 to December 31, 2013, representing the difference between Zaataricamp’s peak population to the end of the calendar year. Data available at:

http://data.unhcr.org/syrianrefugees/country.php?id=107. 10 See: PDES/2013/13 July 2013 “From slow boil to breaking point: A real-time evaluation ofUNHCR’s response to the Syrianrefugee emergency” where the UNHCR’s Policy Development andEvaluation Service (PDES) recommend “Quick Impact Projects” be designed to “provide immediateand tangible benefits to those living in refugee-populated areas”. Such projects, it states,“should be accompanied by an effective communications strategy, so as to ensure that theirpurposes are well understood and that messages of solidarity and community cohesion areconveyed to refugees and host populations alike”.

11 Humanitarian Policy and Conflict Research (HPCR) Harvard Field Study Group, January 2014, Jordan Non-Paper on the International Response to the Syrian Refugee Crisis See: http://hpcrresearch.org/publications/other-publications

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and around the Northern city of Irbid in an effort to gage the

sentiments on the ground of both the urban and rural refugee

out-of-camp population. Many had shared experiences and

concerns. Their journeys followed similar paths, from the

individually unique yet sadly commonplace traumas each

suffered in Syria, through often unwelcoming border-posts to

alienating camps in Jordan and then all left the relative

security of the camps making different sacrifices in order to

regain some sense of autonomy and independence. Despite

difficult relationships with their Jordanian neighbours, all

were adamant camp life was not for them. Nevertheless, the

perceived challenges and restricted movement of the camps had

been replaced in most instances with self-imposed

incarceration, with the majority of the women we spoke to

rarely leaving their scantily furnished, often dark and

inhospitable two room homes. Their continued life as refugees

was clearly having its toll on all the women we met, who

seemed to be losing any sense of hope as their days, weeks,

and in many cases years continued to drag on in isolation and

sadness. In this paper we will present the challenges and

concerns expressed by the women and children in these

interviews and argue that the protection issues that concern

all those working with the women refugees in Jordan could and

should be approached in parallel with culturally sensitive

initiatives that work to combat this clearly pervading self-

imprisonment and isolation.

Horan, the Shared Memory: A Regional Context to the Regional

(Forced) Migration.

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The majority of the Syrian refugees entering Northern Jordan

are from the city of Dera’a, the largest city of the southern

Horan plain, and only 20 miles from Jordanians second largest

city, Irbid. This city in the Sunni-majority agricultural

region is where the Assad regime decided to use lethal force

in 2011 in an effort to contain some of the first

demonstrations of the conflict. The protestors destroyed

government buildings in the town of Dera’a resulting in an

aggressive government response that left 15 protestors dead

and many more injured. The ‘decisive response’ (Holliday,

2011:6) sent shockwaves throughout Syria, and the start of the

mass exodus to safer neighbours in the region. Prior to the

crisis trade, marriage and movement between the two

populations was commonplace. Dera’a is part of the Horan

region, one of the most fertile regions in Syria with farming

and herding as the main sources of income. It is made up of

three Syrian provinces, Dera’a, Sweida and Quneitra and also

the Al Ramtha district in Jordan. Historically the Horan

region constituted one entity and one territory, however, when

French colonization of Syria and the British mandate of Jordan

came to an end in the 1940’s this region was divided between

the two countries. Despite the geographical similarities and

the shared Arab identity between the Jordanians and Syrians on

either side of the border, political and socio-economic

differences however make the two peoples in many ways

dissimilar. The traditional societies scattered throughout the

Horan region in Syria are made up of large extended families,

where everybody knows everybody else. Social cohesion, strong

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ties to family and community and a strong sense of belonging

to their communities have all prevailed, while the levels of

education amongst both the men and the women are lower than

that of their Jordanian counterparts. (Davis and Tylor,

2013:4)12 Religion plays a significant role in the life of

these communities, which, for the majority of the women of

Dera’a, means strict adherence to the codes of the Koran such

as keeping away from the gaze of non-family members, not

leaving the house unless accompanied by a male family member,

and, relevant to this study of the isolation of the refugees

in Irbid, not partaking in any group social or musical

activities unless within a religious context. Offering

hospitality to those in need however is another important

element of Islamic practise. Before the political and civil

turmoil, a large percentage of the population of Dera’a were

Palestinian refugees13. As one of the homes of the opposition

since the start of the crisis, the families of Dera’a are also

known for sheltering many of the rebels and their families and

suffering the brutal consequences. As a result of the deep

historic bonds between Syrians and Jordanians many Syrians

moved to Jordan to stay with relatives when the conflict first

began, not considering themselves “refugees”. The tradition of

on-going hospitability is now becoming a challenge in and

12 See: Davis, Rochelle, and Abbie Taylor. "Syrian Refugees in Jordan and Lebanon: A Snapshot from Summer 2013." Who assert that Syrian refugees “are used to being self-sufficient, have strong connections to family and community, have lower levels of education, and likely have much less experience with bureaucratic measures”. 13 From United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees in the Near East (UNRWA)– who state that in 2011, of Dara’as population of about 1.5 million, 420,000 were Palastinianrefugees See more at: http://unispal.un.org/UNISPAL.NSF/0/61E32D1640DB030B85257C04005FA998#sthash.JMrl6fiU.dpuf

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round Irbid however. Identified as a ‘poverty pocket’ by the

UNHCR at the start of Syrian crisis, the pressures on schools,

hospitals, the police and the fragile job market has brought

about increasing tensions between the Jordanian and Syrian

populations in and around the city. With an already straining

infrastructure, with shortages of water, electricity, housing,

schooling and healthcare, the directorates of Irbid Al Ramtha,

Tura, Shajara, and Emrawa are now struggling under the

increasing pressures of the massive influx of over a half a

million refugees, increasing the population of Irbid alone by

over 10%14. Rents have increased tenfold in Irbid since the

beginning of the crisis15, and when a survey was conducted not

much more than a year into the crisis, 80% of Jordanians were

found to favour the segregation of Syrian Refugees in camps16.

This percentage is thought to have increased markedly since

then. As the likelihood of a quick solution to the conflict

and subsequent return of the refugees becomes increasingly

unlikely, the regional and historic ties that unify the

Syrians and Jordanians are making way for points of potential

friction between the two communities and some of the cultural

and social differences are becoming more heightened.

The Reciprocal Approach of Critical Ethnography from Both

Insider and Outsider.14 See: PDES/2013/13 July 2013 “From slow boil to breaking point: A real-time evaluation of UNHCR’s response to the Syrianrefugee emergency”15 MercyCorps, “Mapping of Host Community-Refugee Tensions in Mafraq and Ramtha, Jordan,” May 2013, 9.

16 Nicholas Seeley, “Most Jordanians Say No More Syrian Refugees,” Christian Science Monitor, October 1, 2012, accessed Feb 21st 2014.

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Throughout this study our ethnographic approach follows Abu

Lughod’s example of writing critical ethnographies that go

‘against the grain of global inequalities’ whilst remaining

‘modest’ in claims to radicalism and ‘realistic’ about the

impacts of these ethnographies” (Abu-Lughod, 2000:265-266).

This is characterised by a practise whereby we contextualise

the data we gather within both an objective analytical

approach and a more subjective empathetic interpretation of

the human experiences shared with us, the meanings associated

with certain behaviours, fact and feelings that are attached

to these realities. The ethnographic approach was as such not

as much concerned with presenting a single story or

description of specific settings as much as it was about how

people make sense of their own worlds. The partnership between

the two researchers, two social and visual anthropologists

from very different backgrounds was an essential element in

the methodology behind this research17. By entering the world

of the refugees as both insider and outsider we were able to

avoid some of the inherent and well-documented pitfalls of

presenting exclusively insider or outsider perspectives, where

the observations of the anthropologist answer to his or her

own ‘experience of habitation’ (Ingold, 2008:87-88). Through

the outside/inside perspective of this partnership we were

able to draw on our different perspectives and multilayered

observations, analysis and evaluations. In the discourse

around the indigenous or non-indigenous position in the field,

it has been said that foreign and local scholars have the17 Dr Ruba Al Akash, a local anthropologist with a strong connection to the history and peopleof this border region. Karen Boswall, journalist and film-maker with experience in Africa, Asia, North and South America and the Middle East. (See: www.karenboswall.com)

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ability to allocate their roles in a way that enables both to

gather valuable information according to their position.

Moreover, due to their ‘complementary potentialities’ it was

concluded by Fahim et al (1980:649), that “collaborative

research between foreign and indigenous researcher was both a

remedy and an exciting possibility with the condition that

this collaboration be on egalitarian and reciprocal term”. In

this partnership of two women with common objectives and

passions, we have drawn on the strengths of each to apply both

deep cultural understanding and empathy and objective enquiry

in this research.

Listening to the voices and the silence

Over a period of five months, we spent time with 15 extended

families in Irbid and the surrounding villages, and worked

with one focus group of about twenty women who live on the

same corridor of an office building in the centre of Irbid

that had been converted into refugee accommodation in 2012 and

houses approximately 70 families. Through a combination of

conversations, group interviews and careful observations of

the often-inexpressible realities, sometimes transmitted

through silence, body language and often tears, we began to

build a picture of both the spoken and unspoken fears and

dreams of these women. Silence can reflect disempowerment. It

can also be a part of what Parpart and Kabeer refer to as

“innovative strategies for survival in dangerous

circumstances” (Parpart et al 2010:8). In her article on

Speech, Gender and Power, Cecile Jackson argues that the

challenge for researchers and development practitioners is to

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improve their ability to listen and hear18. Silences, she

argues, ‘can be resistant and expressive’ while speech can be

associated with ‘a loss of agency’ (Jackson, 2012:1020).

Throughout this study our theoretical standpoint was to create

an atmosphere of trust where the women could feel comfortable

to speak and voice their experiences. Where there was silence,

we ‘listened’. We took notes about the physical and emotional

environment we encountered and, where appropriate19 made audio

recordings and / or video recordings of the interviews in

order to capture the detailed nuances of the exchange for

future reflection. Aware of the risk described by Omidian as

the ‘emotional bombardment’ of working with refugees, where

the researcher can feel acutely ‘the losses, deaths and

seemingly endless struggle to cope with life” (Omidian,

2000:172), we allowed time for processing our experiences

between visits.

Selecting the Families for the Research

It was important to us as independent researchers that our

access to the families was also as independent as possible. We

therefore chose to avoid the temptation of seeking the support

or logistical involvement of those already working with the

refugees as that may have had an impact on the way we were

18 See: Cecile Jackson Speech, Gender and Power: Beyond Testimony Development and Change, 2012, vol.43, issue 5, pages 999-1023

19 There is an ongoing debate about the ethics of documenting ‘reality’ through both still andmoving image, where questions of representation and interpretation of the photographer or videographer are continually addressed and reassessed. There is not space to go into this debate in this paper, but with both researchers experienced visual anthropologists actively engaged in this debate, ethical considerations of privacy, representation and ownership of identity were explained to the participants in the study and consequently the majority decidedagainst being filmed or photographed, some also preferring not to have their voices recorded.

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received and the nature of the information shared with us. If

we were able to avoid any association with religious or

political organisations, NGO’s or national or international

development agencies, we believed our relationship with the

families would have more chance of being recognised as purely

for the purposes of research, with no anticipated or perceived

hidden political, social or financial agenda. We decided to

contact the owners of the buildings known to have a high

percentage of refugees as their tenants and the introductions

were made through the caretakers, who had already developed a

relationship of trust with the refugees. We selected two

distinct localities where refugees were living in large numbers

outside of the camp setting, one in the city of Irbid and the

other in the rural village of Tura 16 miles from Irbid and less

than 1 mile from the Syrian border. We interviewed most

families in their homes, or in the case of the group, in the

home of one of the community members20. In order to gage a

broader sense of the realities of larger number of refugees, we

also spoke to individuals in public areas of Irbid where

refugees gathered for urban registration and collection of food

and coupons. Our individual family interviews lasted an average

of two hours, with the group discussion lasting four. The

subject matter of each interview varied slightly depending on

the context of each encounter. Common themes were the journey

20 Many of the families living in Irbid were renting rooms in apartment blocks inhabited largely by refugees, yet in most cases there was no sense of community between the families, each remaining isolated, almost self-incarcerated in their small private spaces. One exceptionwas a converted office block off Cinema Street in downtown Irbid where each two-room apartmentwas separated from the central corridor by a curtain and the corridor itself became a communalspace where children played. Here the women all knew one another and had informally chosen onemember of the community to represent and help them in matters they were struggling with. It was in this building that we decided to conduct a group interview with a focus group. This wasconducted in the home of Om Taim, the informal representative of the group.

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from Syria to Jordan, initial impressions upon arrival and how

this has changed over time, and descriptions of both day-to-day

activities and significant events since their arrival. This

included questions on their connections and interactions with

members of both the non-refugee and the refugee communities.

Information and data has also been collected through interviews

with representatives of both the Jordanian government and

humanitarian aid agencies and supported by published and online

sources. In accordance with those who believe too precise an

application of method “interrupts his proper studies” (Mills,

1959:215, as cited in Ingold 2008) we avoided using a fixed set

of questions or following one particular approach with all the

refugees we interviewed. Keeping a flexible and intuitive

response to the line of questioning, we were able to pose new

questions and so discover new realities and respond to them as

they became apparent. One research method that evolved for

example was that of creating a group discussion. Upon arriving

at the converted offices in downtown Irbid, a key figure in the

community called Om Taim quickly presented herself. We followed

her suggestion of returning to the building in the evening,

allowing her time to gather a group of women who agreed to

share their experiences with us as a group. This gave them

agency to choose whether to attend or not. Once together, we

spent some time getting to know one another and being

introduced to the children before introducing a musical ice-

breaker21. Following much laughter and discovery of common21 Karen Boswall, played tunes on the clarinet, first to the children and then the adults. This opened the way for sharing and learning one another’stunes. Being an ‘outsider’ may have facilitated this exchange, as the cultural codes around women and music were less applicable to the non-

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musical themes, the women were more comfortable participating

in open debate and conversation. Another effective research

method was used when interviewing some of the younger girls. It

was noticed in initial interviews that the young girls were shy

to speak about their experiences, in particular in relation to

the theme of early marriages. We assumed our age had some

bearing in this and decided to invite an eighteen year old22 to

participate in the conversations with the younger girls. It was

very successful method. All interviews with the refugees were

conducted in Arabic and where possible audio recordings were

made to facilitate future translation as well as to enable the

researchers to fully engage with the interviewees rather than

taking notes. Where the families were uncomfortable with being

recorded handwritten notes were made during or immediately

after the interview. During this early phase of research, none

of the women interviewed were comfortable with being filmed,

although they were happy for their children and their

environment to be visually documented. In a second phase of

this research, a smaller number of the women with whom we have

developed a trusting relationship have agreed to participate in

the filming of a documentary.

Findings from the Research

There were a number of similarities between the experiences

and preoccupations shared by the families and in particular

the women we interviewed. The events prior to leaving Syria,

and the experiences in the refugee camps, the relationships

Muslim foreigner.22 The daughter of Ruba Akash, was given elementary training in interview technique and accompanied her mother to a number of interviews.

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with their Jordanian neighbours, and their living conditions

were difficult and traumatic for all those we interviewed, as

was the level of isolation and the sadness all the women

carried. Many of those we interviewed described spending hours

of each day in tears. There is not space in this paper to

tell the stories of all the women we interviewed during this

research, however we will address some of the common themes

and draw on the words of the women and girls to illustrate

these experiences.

Traumatic Departures

The decision to leave Syria was the result of an extremely

traumatic experience for each of the families we have been

working with. Setting out for the unknown was generally only

undertaken after an event catalysed a need to protect family

members from death, rape, or imprisonment and torture.

Om Abdullah23 for example, fled when the brutalised body of her

husband was delivered to her family home. We met this 25-year-

old widow in a small dark apartment in Irbid clutching at the

well-worn photograph of her husbands brutalized body. He had

been participating in anti-government protests in Dera’a when

he was arrested. For a month she was unaware of his

whereabouts until his body was eventually returned. Her

brother took the photographs in the hope they could be used in

a case against the government. This has not been possible. In

23 The names of the people interviewed have been changed to preserve their identity.

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stead, Om Abdullah carries the laminated photographs in her

handbag and throughout the interview stared at them from time

to time in disbelief. Fearing her 19-year-old brother would

share the same fate; her parents encouraged them to flee to

Jordan with her three year-old son and 6-year-old sister.

In the same building another family of refugees were still

waiting for news of their son who was arrested many months

ago. We found his mother Om Mohammed in tears when we arrived,

beside herself with worry as to what has happened to him. She

left Dara’a with her other two sons and her three daughters

aged 8, 17 and 20, making the difficult decision to try to

protect her remaining children and leave her husband behind in

Syria to continue searching for Mohammed.

Some families had left Dera’a after loosing their homes in the

bombardments of their city. Om Adel, for example left her town

of Daal when the upper story of her home was reduced to rubble

during a bombing raid. She recalls the time she spent

searching for her family under the rubble. They were the

hardest in her life. Fortunately all her family survived and

she immediately left, barefoot, for the Jordanian border,

taking her five children, daughter in law, and travelling with

ten other members of her extended family while her husband

stayed to look after the remainder of the house.

The journeys each of the families made to the border were

dangerous and uncertain. Om Ali, a young mother of a three

15

year old, joined a group of ten others to escape the bombing

in her town.

“We walked for two hours in the middle of the

night inside Syria to get to Jordan. The

Syrian troops were shooting at us but somehow

we managed to escape to the Jordanian border.”

(from interview with Om Ali November 2013)

The Choice to Leave the Camps

Over 80% of the Syrian refugees living in Jordan have settled

outside of the refugee camps.24 The majority of these were

taken by the Jordanian military from the border to the largest

camp, Al Za’atari, which is close to the border and 27 miles

from the city of Irbid. There, with some of the last remaining

money or possessions most bought their way out of the camp.

Some families we interviewed were smuggled out of Al Za’atari,

some were provided with the necessary documents that enabled

them to leave officially.25 Om Adel arrived in Zatari from

Daal, two years ago in a family group of seventeen people.

“They gave us cards in Za’atari to get tents and foodwe gave these cards as money to the person who took us

24 See: UNHCR, “2014 Syria Regional Response Plan,” December 16, 2013. Accessed February 21st, 2014, http://www.unhcr.org/syriarrp6/docs/Syria-rrp6-full-report.pdf where it was estimated that the number of refugees living in non-camp settings in Jordan would rise from 81% to 84% by the beginning of 201425 The Jordanian Government require that each refugee living outside the camp has a Jordanian guarantor. A lucrative business has developed around the camps to provide these guarantors fora sum. The sum varies but it was often quoted at around 200 Jordanian Dinar (approx. £175) perperson.

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outside.” (from interview with Om Adel January 2014)

The difficulties described by the interviewees that motivated

them to leave the camps ranged from physical discomfort,

especially those arriving in the winter months, to

psychological and emotional stress, not least for fear of the

safety of their daughters.

Om Omar, who lives now with nine family members in a small

apartment in Irbid, arrived in Za’atari in the winter of 2012

and stayed only two days before deciding to leave.

“We got out of Al Za’atari because it was snowing andour tents were destroyed, and then we walked in the mudbecause for one hour and half to get to Irbid.” (frominterview with Om Omar January 2014)

Life for Om Omar outside the camp was more difficult than

she expected. Returning to the camp, although permissible

by the Jordanian authorities26, is not seen as an option.

“Our life is a tragedy. Inside or outside the camps weare all living in a misery. My ex-neighbour lives in AlZa’atari. Her daughter is 11 years old and got marriedlast month because she is worried about her from rape”.(Om Omar)

Many of those we interviewed talked of the perceived risk of

rape of their younger daughters. It is difficult to know if

this fear is founded on experience and none of those we spoke

to were able or prepared to cite any particular cases of rape.

26 Information provided in recorded interview with Brigadeer Abu Shehab, director of the police department working with the refugees inside Za’atari and in the neighbouring communities.

17

Official statistics are also unlikely to be representative for

a number of reasons, not least due to the general mistrust the

Syrians have for authority figures. In November 2013, the

Jordanian police working in Za’atari, for example, had only

one recorded rape case on file in Za’atari since the camp

opened27. The perceived threat continues to pervade the camp

however, and with virginity so important to unmarried girls,

many of our interviewees felt their daughters were safer

outside the camp, where toilet and cooking facilities were not

some distance from the family tent or caravan and not shared

with strangers 28.

For many of the families interviewed, the marriage of a young

daughter was seen as a solution to a number of difficulties,

many believing it will save her the risk of loosing her

virginity through rape before marriage and making it more

difficult for her to find a husband.

“I can’t stand to see my daughter raped in front of my

eyes if I want to get back to Syria, I can’t live with

this shame” (Interview with Abu Nour, January 2014)

Marrying a daughter also relieves the family of the

responsibility of supporting her and in some instances it also

brought in additional financial benefits. In the case of the

marriage of Om Hassan’s 16 year old daughter Nour, it meant an

27 Figure provided by Brigadeer Waddah M. Hmoud, director of The Syrian Refugees Camps AffairsDepartment (SCRD) during an interview in November 201328 For a full UNHCR report on Gender based violence among Syrian refugees, see “Gender based violence and child-protection among Syrian refugees in Jordan with a focus on Early Marriage” published by UNWOMEN in2013

18

exit pass from Al Za’atari for her entire family.

“When we were in Al Za’atari we were so depressed andunhappy. My family were starving and we lived 11persons in one tent. A Syrian woman visited us so manytimes. After three visits she told my mother that thereis a Saudi groom for your daughter. At the beginning Irefused, but later I thought that this man would savethe whole family. He promised to take us out of thecamp and give us a lot of money. I married him and hetook us all out of the camp to this home where we livenow.” (from interview with Nour, January 2014)

Nour and her family now live in Tura, a small village outside

of Za’atari. The man she married was 32 years old. After two

months of marriage, he left for Saudi Arabia and has not

returned.

“Two months later he told me he was going to SaudiArabia to get the required papers for me to be able togo to Saudi Arabia. I spoke to him several times butlater his phone did not work. Now, I don't know whereis he. He dumped me.” (Nour, 2014)

Being an abandoned wife brings shame to the family. Nour

looked too young to have this burden. She is not pregnant, but

unlike her younger siblings, she does not attend the local

school because she is ashamed of her situation. She is unable

to trace her husband as she had no address or other contact

details.

Child Labour and Underage Marriage.

Syrian refugees living outside the camps are not entitled to

work. Religious organisations, NGO’s and governmental agencies

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provide food, support and occasionally cash to those that are

registered with them. Nevertheless most of the refugees living

outside the camps struggle to survive. A number of solutions

are found to generate additional income, including accepting

extremely low wages for illegal work. A number of the men in

the families we visited were in hiding from the Jordanian

police and nervous to look for work again for fear of

deportation back to Syria. This level of poverty has resulted

not only in increased levels of underage marriages for the

girls29 but also increased instances of child labour, largely

carried out by the boys30. We found cases of both in many of

the families we interviewed.

Areen, for example, was married to a 39 year old man from the

United Aram Emirates (UAE) when she was 14. She went with her

new husband to Dubai for one month before he divorced her and

sent her back to Jordan. She was very unhappy, regularly

beaten and bullied by the husband’s three other wives.

We came across a number of cases of temporary marriage during

the research, and a number of girls such as Areen, Nesreen and

Nour who had been abandoned. These young girls are not

officially divorced and so unable to marry again. 29 “Gender based violence and child-protection among Syrian refugees in Jordan with a focus on Early Marriage” publishedby UNWOMEN in 2013 states that “While there is no conclusive evidence that Syrian refugees aremarrying early at a higher rate in Jordan than in Syria, this study notes that the sense of economic and physical insecurity that, among other factors, drive early marriage is amplified in displacement.”

30 In 47% of refugee households that reported paid employment, a child is contributing to the household’s income, and 15% reported child labor as the primary source (85% of reported child

laborers were boys). Statistics from “Gender based violence and child-protection among Syrian refugees in Jordan with a focus on Early Marriage” published by UNWOMEN in 2013

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For the girls who remain in the marriage, the challenges are

no less overwhelming. On our visit to their home in Irbid, Om

Omar was preparing her 15 year old daughter Majed for marriage

with tales of her own marriage when she was even younger than

her daughter. The wedding imminent and Majed knew very little

of her future husband. He was 19 and lived in the same

building. He saw her one day and proposed the union to her

family. “I am marrying next week” she told us “but I feel I’m

not in a position of responsibility. I am aware of how to

treat my husband how I am going to be pregnant and raise

children but I am afraid I can’t cook.” (From interview with Majed,

January 2014) Om Omar explained to us, rather apologetically,

how, with nine people in their two roomed apartment, including

her 19 year old son and his 16 year old wife, and rent just

increased to 270 JD’s (£230.00) a month, it was necessary for

her young daughter to marry and be fed by her husband’s

family. When 21 year Adel found a job in an electronic shop he

soon found a 16-year-old wife. His mother told us

“Her parents told us that if you want to take ourdaughter as your son’s wife we don’t mind because wedon’t have enough money to feed her. We have thistradition in Dera’a. Even my daughters, if a good manproposes to them, I would not mind them marrying atthis early age. Girls are a big responsibility. Afamily with a lot of girls is paralysed. The girls lifeis bitter, from the beginning of life to the death.”(From Interview with Om Adel, January 2014)

Alone and Surrounded by People

21

One of the most profoundly disturbing aspects of visiting the

Syrian families living outside of the camps is the extreme

isolation experienced by most of the women and girls. A deep

mistrust of both their Jordanian and Syrian neighbours,

coupled with codes of modesty and inter family dependency has

exacerbated this phenomenon where thousands of Syrian women

and girls spend their days closed away in their small rooms

rarely if ever leaving the building. In a study of the Syrian

refugees living outside the camps in Jordan conducted by UN

Women in 201331 it was found that over 20% of girls under the

age of 16 and nearly 19% of women never leave their homes and

nearly 50% of both women and girls very rarely left the home.

Even where families live on the same floor of apartment

buildings, it is unusual for them to spend time together or

even to communicate with one another. Om Omar, a 32-year-old

single mother lives with her eleven children in a two-room

apartment in Irbid. She doesn’t know her neighbours.

“We don’t gather with anybody in this building, noteven the Syrian people. We don’t want trouble. It ismore comfortable to be alone, we say ‘with no eyes tosee and no hearts to be sad’. In Dera’a the wholevillage was one family, but here I am living alone withfear. (From an interview with Om Omar, January 2014)

Om Omar’s new 16-year-old daughter-in-law recently moved in

with the family. She tried to settle in a village outside of

Irbid with her new husband as it was cheaper. But she was so

lonely she returned.

31 Data from the 2013 study published in“Gender based violence and child-protection among Syrian refugees in Jordan with a focus on Early Marriage” (UNWOMEN in 2013) pp 22,23

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“I was struggling. It was like I was in prison there. Idid not know anybody and I couldn’t go outside. I toldmy husband I want to live with your mother because I amworried if I get killed here no one will know. Now,here in Irbid I’m living the worst days of my life. I’min agony. If I knew it would guarantee my death, Iwould commit suicide by throwing myself off thisbalcony” (from Interview with Aba, Om Omar’s daughter in law.January 2014)

Many of the women and girls we spoke to referred to their

homes as a prison. They also lamented the fact that they had

so little to do. Fatima is the 15-year-old daughter of Om

Mohammed whose brother is missing following his arrest many

months ago.

“We are bored here. There is nothing to do. We are notallowed to go to school, we are not allowed to go out,we are not allowed to mix with other people because weare girls. Death is better than this life. If we askfor anything the answer is we can get it when we goback to Syria. Our day begins with working with ourmother and then cleaning. After that we watch TV, cryfor a while after watching the news and then sleep.This is our daily routine”. (From Interview with Fatima, Thedaughter of Om Mohammed November, 2013)

Fatima’s mother suggested she read the Quran to get over her

boredom. It makes you feel better and comforts all your pains

she told us. In fact, reading the Quran was the only activity

we heard suggested by any of the women we interviewed as an

acceptable way to seek comfort from the hardships of refugee

life. Other communal activities that have been introduced in

refugee communities around the world, such as using creative

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processes to process their traumas, making music, forming

groups and societies, studying, are not somehow considered

appropriate, when so many people are still suffering. It was

as if the women carried the burden of sadness as a

responsibility not to take lightly. It was their duty as

Syrian women to connect through their tears with those who are

suffering and loosing their lives. They may be away from the

dangers risked by their family members in Syria, but they

mustn’t enjoy it. Activities with the potential to bring

relief from the sadness were not considered appropriate by any

of the women we spoke to. And so, the daily routine of crying,

either alone or in groups was a surprisingly common regular

activity among all the women we interviewed.

“We don’t live a normal life. We are not happy. A lot of people from my family got killed in Syria, so how wecan live a normal life? We live with sadness. We lost happiness, there is no space for it.” (From an Interview with Nadia recorded in November 2013)

Om Omar, who is living with her eleven children and her

daughter-in-law manages to speak to her mother and father who

live in Syria every day. “I have a daily programme of crying

for at least two hours a day” she told us. “I call my parents

and when I hear the news from Syria I cry blood”. (From Interview

with Om Omar recorded in January 2014)

For many of the families we spoke to, the possibility of

returning to Syria whether there was a risk of being killed or

not was very real. Some families returned during the period we

conducted our interviews, many others were seriously

24

considering it. In 2013 the Governor of Dera’a Mohammad Khaled

al-Hannous began to send invitations to all the refugees in

the neighbouring countries to return home. By August 2013 the

Syrian Arab News Agency announced that 2,800 families had

returned to Dera’a from Al Za’atari refugee camp32. The

refugees we met seemed exhausted and drained by their life as

refugees. Many had been in Jordan for over a year and are

loosing hope in any resolution being found to the conflict.

They fear their future inside Jordan and outside and many

expressed their sense that no-one was listening. “Syrians are

not humans here in Jordan.” Noor’s father told us “They are

goods or products. We have been sold by everybody. Even Bashar

sold us. We pay to get out of Syria, then we pay to get out of

the camp, and we pay to send our children to the near by

schools, I pay 20 JDs to a bus to take my children to school,

if they walk in the street they will be beaten. What life is

this?” (From Interview with Abu Noor, January 2014).

Conclusion

It is devastating to become a refugee; being displaced from

your country, your culture, your home, your family. The

Refugee status of being unknown, undesired, and displaced

raises significant questions on hidden and fundamental aspects

of human life. The experience of the women we spoke to during

the fieldwork conducted over the past four months has led us

to believe that there is more that can be done for these

refugees living outside of the camps in and around Irbid.32 See: https://www.facebook.com/SyrianArabNewsAgencySana/posts/610067082349156

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Through offering culturally appropriate communal activities

that girls and women from extended families can do together,

either in larger groups or in their own homes would give them

relief from the hopelessness and the isolation. The silent

voices must be heard.

In this ethnography we have analysed the current life of

Syrian refugee women and their burden of leaving and

resettling in new places. People’s stories and narratives and

their expression of the experiences that have shaped their

day-to-day lives however form the backbone of this study. By

airing reflections on the fear, suffering and sadness of some

Syrian refugee women living outside the camps in and around

Irbid, this paper highlights the complex and multilayered

nature of refugee experience. The narratives and life stories

set out in this paper are incomplete and in progress. They

provide insight into some of the experiences of those refugees

who are suffering the consequences of the current conflict in

Syria and whose peaceful lives and livelihoods have been

disrupted. Through listening to the Syrian refugee voices in

Irbid-Jordan we have been able to highlight some of the needs

of those living in the hostile and unfamiliar reality of life

as a refugee, with memories of a harrowing past, unable to

create new life, while waiting for their homes to be safe

enough for them to return.

26

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