PENGUINBOOKS

GAMESPEOPLEPLAY

DrEricBerne, likehisfather,graduatedfromtheFacultyofMedicine,McGillUniversity,Montreal,Canada, and latermoved to theUnited States,where hehadhisinternshipinpsychiatryattheNewHavenHospitalandtheYaleInstituteof Human Relations. He also studied at the New York and San FranciscoPsychoanalytic Institutes.During theSecondWorldWarhe served in theU.S.ArmyMedicalCorpsandwasdischargedwiththerankofmajor.AfterwardshebecameaconsultantinpsychiatryandneurologytotheSurgeonGeneraloftheU.S. Army. He was a practising psychiatrist in Carmel and San Francisco,California, a lecturer at the University of California Medical School, andConsultant in Group Therapy atMcAuley Clinic in San Francisco. Hewas acorrespondingmemberoftheIndianPsychiatricSociety,chairmanoftheboardoftrusteesoftheInternationalTransactionalAnalysisAssociationandeditorofthe Transactional Analysis Bulletin. He also wrote The Mind in Action,Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy, The Structure and Dynamics ofOrganizations and Groups and Principles of Group Treatment. A Layman’sGuide to Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis and Sex in Human Loving are alsoavailable in Penguins. While at college he wrote for the Canadian magazineForum,theLondonAdelphi,andotherperiodicals.Hediedin1970.

ERICBERNE

GamesPeoplePlay

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF HUMANRELATIONSHIPS

PENGUINBOOKS

PENGUINBOOKS

PublishedbythePenguinGroupPenguinBooksLtd,80Strand,LondonWC2R0RL,EnglandPenguinPutnamInc.,375HudsonStreet,NewYork,NewYork10014,USAPenguinBooksAustraliaLtd,250CamberwellRoad,Camberwell,Victoria 3124, Australia Penguin Books Canada Ltd, 10 Alcorn Avenue,Toronto,Ontario,CanadaM4V3B2Penguin Books India (P) Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, NewDelhi – 110 017, India PenguinBooks (NZ) Ltd, Cnr Rosedale andAirborneRoads, Albany, Auckland, New Zealand Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty)Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank 2196, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd,RegisteredOffices:80Strand,LondonWC2R0RL,England

www.penguin.com

FirstpublishedintheUSA1964PublishedinGreatBritainbyAndréDeutsch1966PublishedinPenguinBooksforsaleoutsidetheUnitedKingdom1967PublishedinPenguinBooksforsalewithintheUnitedKingdom1968

Copyright©EricBerne,1964All rights reserved Except in the United States of America, this book is soldsubjecttotheconditionthatitshallnot,bywayoftradeorotherwise,belent,re-sold,hiredout,orotherwisecirculatedwithout thepublisher’spriorconsent inanyformofbindingorcoverotherthanthatinwhichitispublishedandwithouta similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequentpurchaserISBN:978-0-14-193836-3

Tomypatientsandstudentswhotaughtmemoreandmoreandarestillteachingmeaboutgamesandthemeaningoflife

Contents

Preface

Introduction

PARTONE

ANALYSISOFGAMES

1StructuralAnalysis2TransactionalAnalysis3ProceduresandRituals4Pastimes5Games

PARTTWO

ATHESAURUSOFGAMES

Introduction

6LifeGames1.Alcoholic2.Debtor3.KickMe4.NowI’veGotYou,YouSonofaBitch5.SeeWhatYouMadeMeDo

7MaritalGames1.Corner2.Courtroom3.FrigidWoman4.Harried

5.IfItWeren’tforYou6.LookHowHardI’veTried7.Sweetheart

8PartyGames1.Ain’tItAwful2.Blemish3.Schlemiel4.WhyDon’tYou–YesBut

9SexualGames1.Let’sYouandHimFight2.Perversion3.Rapo4.TheStockingGame5.Uproar

10UnderworldGames1.CopsandRobbers2.HowDoYouGetOutofHere3.Let’sPullaFastOneonJoey

11ConsultingRoomGames1.Greenhouse2.I’mOnlyTryingtoHelpYou3.Indigence4.Peasant5.Psychiatry6.Stupid7.WoodenLeg

12GoodGames1.Busman’sHoliday2.Cavalier3.HappytoHelp

4.HomelySage5.They’llBeGladTheyKnewMe

PARTTHREE

BEYONDGAMES

13TheSignificanceofGames14ThePlayers15AParadigm16Autonomy17TheAttainmentofAutonomy18AfterGames,What?

AppendixTheClassificationofBehaviour

IndexofPastimesandGames

AuthorIndex

SubjectIndex

Preface

THIS book is primarily designed to be a sequel to my book TransactionalAnalysis in Psychotherapy,1 but has been planned so that it can be read andunderstood independently. The theory necessary for the analysis and clearunderstanding of games has been summarized in Part I. Part II containsdescriptions of the individual games. Part III contains new clinical andtheoreticalmaterialwhich,addedtotheold,makesitpossibletounderstandtosomeextentwhat itmeanstobegame-free.Thosedesiringfurtherbackgroundarereferredtotheearliervolume.Thereaderofbothwillnotethatinadditiontothe theoretical advances, there have been someminor changes in terminologyandviewpointbasedonfurtherthinkingandreadingandnewclinicalmaterial.

Theneedfor thisbookwas indicatedby interestedrequests fromstudentsand lecture audiences for lists of games, or for further elaboration of gamesmentioned briefly as examples in a general exposition of the principles oftransactionalanalysis.Thanksaredueingeneraltothesestudentsandaudiences,andespeciallytothemanypatientswhoexposedtoview,spottedornamednewgames;andinparticulartoMissBarbaraRosenfeldforhermanyideasabouttheartandmeaningof listening;andtoMrMelvinBoyce,MrJosephConcannon,DrFranklinErnst,DrKennethEverts,DrGordonGritter,MrsFrancesMatson,and Dr Ray Poindexter, among others, for their independent discovery orconfirmationofthesignificanceofmanygames.

MrClaudeSteiner,formerlyResearchDirectoroftheSanFranciscoSocialPsychiatry Seminars and presently in the Department of Psychology at theUniversityofMichigandeservesspecialmentionon twocounts.Heconductedthe first experiments which confirmedmany of the theoretical points at issuehere, andas a resultof theseexperimentshehelpedconsiderably in clarifyingthenatureofautonomyandofintimacy.ThanksarealsoduetoMissViolaLitt,the Secretary-Treasurer of the Seminars, and to Mrs Mary N. Williams, mypersonal secretary, for their continued help, and to Anne Garrett for herassistanceinreadingtheproof.

SEMANTICS

Forconciseness,thegamesaredescribedprimarilyfromthemalepointofviewunless theyareclearlyfeminine.Thus thechiefplayer isusuallydesignatedas

‘he’,butwithoutprejudice,sincethesamesituation,unlessotherwiseindicated,could as easily be outlinedwith ‘she’,mutatismutandis. If the woman’s rolediffers significantly from the man’s, it is treated separately. The therapist issimilarlywithoutprejudicedesignatedas‘he’.Thevocabularyandviewpointareprimarily oriented toward the practising clinician, but members of otherprofessionsmayfindthisbookinterestingoruseful.

Transactional game analysis should be clearly distinguished from itsgrowing sister science of mathematical game analysis, although a few of thetermsusedinthetext,suchas‘payoff’,arenowrespectablymathematical.ForadetailedreviewofthemathematicaltheoryofgamesseeGames&Decisions,byR.D.LuceandH.Raiffa.2

Carmel,California,May1962

REFERENCES

1.Berne,E.,TransactionalAnalysisinPsychotherapy,Evergreen,1961.2.Luce,R.D.,andRaiffa,H.,Games&Decisions,Chapman&Hall,1957.

Introduction

1·SOCIALINTERCOURSE

THE theory of social intercourse, which has been outlined at some length inTransactionalAnalysis,1maybesummarizedasfollows.

Spitzhas found2 that infantsdeprivedofhandlingovera longperiodwilltend at length to sink into an irreversible decline and are prone to succumbeventually to intercurrent disease. In effect, this means that what he callsemotionaldeprivationcanhaveafataloutcome.Theseobservationsgiverisetotheideaofstimulus-hunger,andindicatethatthemostfavouredformsofstimuliarethoseprovidedbyphysicalintimacy,aconclusionnothardtoacceptonthebasisofeverydayexperience.

An allied phenomenon is seen in grownups subjected to sensorydeprivation. Experimentally, such deprivation may call forth a transientpsychosis, or at least give rise to temporarymental disturbances; In the past,socialandsensorydeprivationisnotedtohavehadsimilareffectsinindividualscondemned to long periods of solitary imprisonment. Indeed, solitaryconfinementisoneofthepunishmentsmostdreadedevenbyprisonershardenedtophysical brutality,3,4and is now a notorious procedure for inducing politicalcompliance. (Conversely, the best of the known weapons against politicalcomplianceissocialorganization.)5

Onthebiologicalside,itisprobablethatemotionalandsensorydeprivationtends to bring about or encourage organic changes. If the reticular activatingsystem6ofthebrainstemisnotsufficientlystimulated,degenerativechangesinthenervecellsmayfollow,atleastindirectly.Thismaybeasecondaryeffectduetopoornutrition,butthepoornutritionitselfmaybeaproductofapathy,asininfants suffering frommarasmus.Hence a biological chainmay be postulatedleadingfromemotionalandsensorydeprivationthroughapathytodegenerativechanges anddeath. In this sense, stimulus-hungerhas the same relationship tosurvivalofthehumanorganismasfood-hunger.

Indeed, not only biologically but also psychologically and socially,stimulus-hunger in many ways parallels the hunger for food. Such terms asmalnutrition, satiation, gourmet, gourmand, faddist, ascetic, culinary arts, andgood cook are easily transferred from the field of nutrition to the field of

sensation.Overstuffinghasitsparallelinoverstimulation.Inbothspheres,underordinaryconditionswhereamplesuppliesareavailableandadiversifiedmenuispossible,choiceswillbeheavilyinfluencedbyanindividual’sidiosyncrasies.Itis possible that some or many of these idiosyncrasies are constitutionallydetermined,butthisisirrelevanttotheproblemsatissuehere.

The social psychiatrist’s concern in thematter iswithwhat happens aftertheinfantisseparatedfromhismotherinthenormalcourseofgrowth.Whathasbeen said so far may be summarized by the ‘colloquialism’:7 ‘If you are notstroked, your spinal cord will shrivel up.’ Hence, after the period of closeintimacy with the mother is over, the individual for the rest of his life isconfronted with a dilemma upon whose horns his destiny and survival arecontinually being tossed. One horn is the social, psychological and biologicalforceswhichstandinthewayofcontinuedphysicalintimacyintheinfantstyle;theother is hisperpetual striving for its attainment.Undermost conditionshewill compromise. He learns to do withmore subtle, even symbolic, forms ofhandling, until the merest nod of recognitionmay serve the purpose to someextent,althoughhisoriginalcravingforphysicalcontactmayremainunabated.

This process of compromise may be called by various terms, such assublimation;butwhateveritiscalled,theresultisapartialtransformationoftheinfantile stimulus-hunger into something which may be termed recognition-hunger.Asthecomplexitiesofcompromiseincrease,eachpersonbecomesmoreandmoreindividualinhisquestforrecognition,anditisthesedifferentiawhichlendvarietytosocialintercourseandwhichdeterminetheindividual’sdestiny.Amovie actormay require hundreds of strokes eachweek fromanonymous andundifferentiated admirers to keep his spinal cord from shrivelling, while ascientistmaykeepphysicallyandmentallyhealthyononestrokeayearfromarespectedmaster.

‘Stroking’maybeusedasageneral termfor intimatephysicalcontact; inpracticeitmaytakevariousforms.Somepeopleliterallystrokeaninfant;othershug or pat it, while some people pinch it playfully or flip it with a fingertip.Theseallhavetheiranaloguesinconversation,sothatitseemsonemightpredicthowanindividualwouldhandleababybylisteningtohimtalk.Byanextensionofmeaning,‘stroking’maybeemployedcolloquiallytodenoteanyactimplyingrecognition of another’s presence. Hence a stroke may be used as thefundamental unit of social action. An exchange of strokes constitutes atransaction,whichistheunitofsocialintercourse.

As far as the theory of games is concerned, the principlewhich emergeshereis thatanysocial intercoursewhateverhasabiologicaladvantageovernointercourseatall.Thishasbeenexperimentallydemonstratedinthecaseofrats

throughsomeremarkableexperimentsbyS.Levine8inwhichnotonlyphysical,mental and emotional development but also the biochemistry of the brain andeven resistance to leukemia were favourably affected by handling. Thesignificant feature of these experiments was that gentle handling and painfulelectricshockswereequallyeffectiveinpromotingthehealthoftheanimals.

Thisvalidationofwhathasbeensaidaboveencouragesustoproceedwithincreasedconfidencetothenextsection.

2·THESTRUCTURINGOFTIME

Granted that handling of infants, and its symbolic equivalent in grownups,recognition, have a survival value. The question is.What next ? In everydayterms, what can people do after they have exchanged greetings, whether thegreetingconsistsofacollegiate‘Hi!’oranOrientalrituallastingseveralhours?After stimulus-hunger and recognition hunger comes structure-hunger. Theperennialproblemofadolescentsis:‘Whatdoyousaytoher(him)then?Andtomanypeoplebesidesadolescents,nothingismoreuncomfortablethanasocialhiatus, a period of silent, unstructured timewhen no one present can think ofanything more interesting to say than: ‘Don’t you think the walls areperpendicular tonight ?’ The eternal problem of the human being is how tostructure his waking hours. In this existential sense, the function of all sociallivingistolendmutualassistanceforthisproject.

Theoperational aspectof time-structuringmaybecalledprogramming. Ithasthreeaspects:material,socialandindividual.Themostcommon,convenient,comfortable,andutilitarianmethodofstructuringtimeisbyaprojectdesignedtodealwiththematerialofexternalreality:whatiscommonlyknownaswork.Such a project is technically called an activity; the term ‘work’ is unsuitablebecause a general theory of social psychiatry must recognize that socialintercourseisalsoaformofwork.

Materialprogrammingarises fromthevicissitudesencountered indealingwithexternalreality;itisofinteresthereonlyinsofarasactivitiesofferamatrixfor‘stroking’,recognition,andothermorecomplexformsofsocialintercourse.Materialprogrammingisnotprimarilyasocialproblem;inessenceitisbasedondata processing. The activity of building a boat relies on a long series ofmeasurementsandprobabilityestimates,andanysocialexchangewhichoccursmustbesubordinatedtotheseinorderforthebuildingtoproceed.

Social programming results in traditional ritualistic or semi-ritualisticinterchanges. The chief criterion for it is local acceptability, popularly called

‘goodmanners’.Parents inallpartsof theworld teach theirchildrenmanners,whichmeansthattheyknowthepropergreeting,eating,emunctory,courtingandmourning rituals, and also how to carry on topical conversations withappropriate strictures and reinforcements. The strictures and reinforcementsconstitute tact or diplomacy, some of which is universal and some local.Belching atmeals or asking after anotherman’s wife are each encouraged orforbidden by local ancestral tradition, and indeed there is a high degree ofinverse correlation between these particular transactions. Usually in localitieswhere people belch atmeals, it is unwise to ask after thewomenfolk; and inlocalitieswherepeopleareaskingafterthewomenfolk,it isunwisetobelchatmeals.Usuallyformalritualsprecedesemi-ritualistictopicalconversations,andthelattermaybedistinguishedbycallingthempastimes.

As people become better acquainted, more and more individualprogramming creeps in, so that ‘incidents’ begin to occur. These incidentssuperficiallyappear tobeadventitious,andmaybesodescribedby thepartiesconcerned,butcarefulscrutinyrevealsthattheytendtofollowdefinitepatternswhich are amenable to sorting and classification, and that the sequence iscircumscribed by unspoken rules and regulations. These regulations remainlatentaslongastheamitiesorhostilitiesproceedaccordingtoHoyle,but theybecomemanifestifanillegalmoveismade,givingrisetoasymbolic,verbalorlegal cry of ‘Foul!’ Such sequences, which in contrast to pastimes are basedmoreon individual thanonsocialprogramming,maybecalledgames.Familylifeandmarriedlife,aswellaslifeinorganizationsofvariouskinds,mayyearafteryearbebasedonvariationsofthesamegame.

To say that thebulkof social activity consistsofplayinggamesdoesnotnecessarily mean that it is mostly ‘fun’ or that the parties are not seriouslyengaged in the relationship. On the one hand, ‘playing’ football and otherathletic ‘games’maynotbe funat all, and theplayersmaybe intenselygrim;andsuchgamessharewithgamblingandother formsof ‘play’ thepotentialityforbeingveryseriousindeed,sometimesfatal.Ontheotherhand,someauthorsfor instance Huizinga,9 include under ‘play’ such serious things as cannibalfeasts. Hence calling such tragic behaviour as suicide, alcohol and drugaddiction, criminality or schizophrenia ‘playing games’ is not irresponsible,facetiousorbarbaric.Theessentialcharacteristicofhumanplay isnot that theemotions are spurious, but that they are regulated. This is revealed whensanctionsareimposedonanillegitimateemotionaldisplay.Playmaybegrimlyserious, or even fatally serious, but the social sanctions are seriousonly if therulesarebroken.

Pastimes and games are substitutes for the real living of real intimacy.

Becauseofthistheymayberegardedaspreliminaryengagementsratherthanasunions,whichiswhytheyarecharacterizedaspoignantformsofplay.Intimacybegins when individual (usually instinctual) programming becomes moreintense,andbothsocialpatterningandulteriorrestrictionsandmotivesbegintogive way. It is the only completely satisfying answer to stimulus-hunger,recognition-hunger and structure-hunger. Its prototype is the act of lovingimpregnation.

Structure-hungerhasthesamesurvivalvalueasstimulus-hunger.Stimulus-hungerandrecognition-hungerexpresstheneedtoavoidsensoryandemotionalstarvation, both of which lead to biological deterioration. Structure-hungerexpresses the need to avoid boredom, and Kierkegaard10 has pointed out theevilswhich result fromunstructured time. If it persists for any lengthof time,boredombecomessynonymouswithemotionalstarvationandcanhavethesameconsequences.

Thesolitaryindividualcanstructuretimeintwoways:activityandfantasy.An individual can remain solitary even in the presence of others, as everyschoolteacherknows.Whenoneisamemberofasocialaggregationoftwoormore people, there are several options for structuring time. In order ofcomplexity,theseare:(1)Rituals;(2)Pastimes;(3)Games;(4)Intimacy;and(5)Activity, which may form a matrix for any of the others. The goal of eachmemberoftheaggregationistoobtainasmanysatisfactionsaspossiblefromhistransactions with other members. The more accessible he is, the moresatisfactionshecanobtain.Mostoftheprogrammingofhissocialoperationsisautomatic. Since some of the ‘satisfactions’ obtained under this programming,suchasself-destructiveones,aredifficulttorecognizeintheusualsenseoftheword ‘satisfactions’, itwouldbebetter to substitute somemorenon-committalterm,suchas‘gains’or‘advantages’.

The advantages of social contact revolve around somatic and psychicequilibrium.Theyare related to thefollowingfactors: (1) thereliefof tension;(2)theavoidanceofnoxioussituations;(3)theprocurementofstroking;and(4)the maintenance of an established equilibrium. All these items have beeninvestigated and discussed in great detail by physiologists, psychologists, andpsychoanalysts.Translatedintotermsofsocialpsychiatry,theymaybestatedas(1)theprimaryinternaladvantages;(2)theprimaryexternaladvantages;(3)thesecondaryadvantages;and(4)theexistentialadvantages.Thefirstthreeparallelthe ‘gains from illness’ described by Freud: the internal paranosic gain, theexternal paranosic gain, and the epinosic gain, respectively.11 Experience hasshown that it ismoreuseful andenlightening to investigate social transactions

fromthepointofviewoftheadvantagesgainedthantotreatthemasdefensiveoperations.Inthefirstplace,thebestdefenceistoengageinnotransactionsatall; in the secondplace, the conceptof ‘defences’ coversonlypart of the firsttwo classes of advantages, and the rest of them, together with the third andfourthclasses,arelosttothispointofview.

The most gratifying forms of social contact, whether or not they areembeddedinamatrixofactivity,aregamesandintimacy.Prolongedintimacyisrare,andeventhenitisprimarilyaprivatematter;significantsocialintercoursemost commonly takes the form of games, and that is the subject whichprincipallyconcernsushere.Forfurtherinformationabouttime-structuring,theauthor’sbookongroupdynamicsshouldbeconsulted.12

REFERENCES

1.Berne,E.,TransactionalAnalysisinPsychotherapy,Evergreen,1961.2. Spitz, R., ‘Hospitalism: Genesis of Psychiatric Conditions in Early

Childhood’,PsychoanalyticStudyoftheChild,1:53–74,1945.3.Belbenoit,Rene,DryGuillotine,Cape,1938.4.Seaton,G.J.,ScarsonmyPassport,Hutchinson,1951.5.Kinkead,E.,WhytheyCollaborated,Longmans,1960.6.French,J.D., ‘TheReticularFormation’,ScientificAmerican,196:54–

60,May1957.7.The‘colloquialisms’usedarethoseevolvedinthecourseoftimeatthe

SanFranciscoSocialPsychiatrySeminars.8. Levine, S., ‘Stimulation in Infancy’, Scientific American, 202: 80–86,

May1960.Levine, S., ‘Infantile Experience and Resistance to Physiological Stress’,

Science,126:405,30August1957.9.Huizinga,J.,HomoLudens,Routledge,1949.10.Kierkegaard, S.,AKierkegaard Anthology (ed. R. Bretall), Princeton

UniversityPress,1947,pp.22ff.11.Freud,S., ‘GeneralRemarksonHystericalAttacks’,StandardEdn,n,

HogarthPress,London,1955.Freud,S.,‘AnalysisofaCaseofHysteria’,ibid.,VI,1953.12.Berne,E.,TheStructureandDynamicsofOrganizationsandGroups,

PitmanMedical,1963.

PARTONE

ANALYSISOFGAMES

1·StructuralAnalysis

OBESERVATION of spontaneous social activity,most productively carried out incertain kinds of psychotherapy groups, reveals that from time to time peopleshow noticeable changes in posture, viewpoint, voice, vocabulary, and otheraspectsofbehaviour.Thesebehaviouralchangesareoftenaccompaniedbyshiftsinfeeling.Inagivenindividual,acertainsetofbehaviourpatternscorrespondstoonestateofmind,whileanothersetisrelatedtoadifferentpsychicattitude,often inconsistentwith thefirst.Thesechangesanddifferencesgiverise to theideaofegostates.

Intechnicallanguage,anegostatemaybedescribedphenome-nologicallyasacoherentsystemoffeelings,andoperationallyasasetofcoherentbehaviourpatterns. Inmore practical terms, it is a system of feelings accompanied by arelated set of behaviour patterns. Each individual seems to have available alimited repertoire of such ego states, which are not roles but psychologicalrealities. This repertoire can be sorted into the following categories: (1) egostates which resemble those of parental figures; (2) ego states which areautonomouslydirectedtowardsobjectiveappraisalofrealityand(3)thosewhichrepresent archaic relics, still-active ego states which were fixated in earlychildhood.Technicallythesearecalled,respectively,exteropsychic,neopsychic,andarchaeopsychic ego states.Colloquially their exhibitionsare calledParent,Adult and Child, and these simple terms serve for all but the most formaldiscussions.

Thepositionis,then,thatatanygivenmomenteachindividualinasocialaggregationwillexhibitaParental,AdultorChildegostate,andthatindividualscanshiftwithvaryingdegreesofreadinessfromoneegostatetoanother.Theseobservations give rise to certain diagnostic statements. ‘That is your Parent’means: ‘You are now in the same state ofmind as one of your parents (or aparental substitute) used to be, and you are responding as hewould,with thesame posture, gestures, vocabulary, feelings, etc’ ‘That is your Adult’ means:‘Youhavejustmadeanautonomous,objectiveappraisalofthesituationandarestatingthesethought-processes,ortheproblemsyouperceive,ortheconclusionsyouhavecometo,inanon-prejudicialmanner.’‘ThatisyourChild’means:‘Themannerandintentofyourreactionisthesameasitwouldhavebeenwhenyouwereaverylittleboyorgirl.’

Theimplicationsare:1.Thateveryindividualhashadparents(orsubstituteparents)andthathecarrieswithinhimasetofegostatesthatreproducetheego

statesofthoseparents(asheperceivedthem),andthattheseparentalegostatescan be activated under certain circumstances (exteropsychic functioning).Colloquially:‘Everyonecarrieshisparentsaroundinsideofhim.’

2. That every individual (including children, the mentally retarded andschizophrenics) is capable of objective data processing if the appropriate egostatecanbeactivated (neopsychic functioning)Colloquially: ‘EveryonehasanAdult.’

3. That every individual was once younger than he is now, and that hecarrieswithinhimfixatedrelicsfromearlieryearswhichwillbeactivatedundercertain circumstances (archaeopsychic functioning). Colloquially: ‘Everyonecarriesalittleboyorgirlaroundinsideofhim.’

AtthispointitisappropriatetodrawFigure1A,whichiscalledastructuraldiagram.Thisrepresents,fromthepresentviewpoint,adiagramofthecompletepersonality of any individual. It includes his Parental, Adult, and Child egostates. They are carefully segregated from each other, because they are sodifferent andbecause theyare sooftenquite inconsistentwitheachother.Thedistinctions may not be clear at first to an inexperienced observer, but soonbecome impressive and interesting to anyone who takes the trouble to learnstructural diagnosis. It will be convenient henceforth to call actual peopleparents, adults or children, with no capital letters; Parent, Adult and Child,capitalized,willbeusedwhenegostatesarereferredto.Figure1B representsaconvenient,simplifiedformofthestructuraldiagram.

Before we leave the subject of structural analysis, certain complicationsshouldbementioned.

1.Theword‘childish’isneverusedinstructuralanalysis,sinceithascometo have strong connotations of undesirability, and of something to be stoppedforthwithorgotridof.Theterm‘childlike’ isusedindescribingtheChild(anarchaic ego state), since it ismorebiological andnot prejudicial.Actually theChild is in many ways the most valuable part of the personality, and cancontributetotheindividual’slifeexactlywhatanactualchildcancontributetofamily life: charm, pleasure and creativity. If the Child in the individual isconfused and unhealthy, then the consequences may be unfortunate, butsomethingcanandshouldbedoneaboutit.

2.Thesameapplies to thewords ‘mature’and ‘immature’. In this systemthereisnosuchthingasan‘immatureperson’.ThereareonlypeopleinwhomtheChildtakesoverinappropriatelyorunproductively,butallsuchpeoplehavea complete, well-structured Adult which only needs to be uncovered oractivated.Conversely,so-called‘maturepeople’arepeoplewhoareabletokeeptheAdultincontrolmostofthetime,buttheirChildwilltakeoveronoccasion

likeanyoneelse’s,oftenwithdisconcertingresults.

Figure1.AStructureDiagram

3. It shouldbenoted that theParent isexhibited in two forms,directandindirect:asanactiveegostate,andasaninfluence.Whenitisdirectlyactive,thepersonrespondsashisownfather(ormother)actuallyresponded(‘DoasIdo’).When it is an indirect influence, he responds the way they wanted him torespond (‘Don’t do as I do, do as I say’). In the first case he becomesoneofthem;inthesecond,headaptshimselftotheirrequirements.

4.ThustheChildisalsoexhibitedintwoforms:theadaptedChildandthenaturalChild.TheadaptedChild is theonewhomodifieshisbehaviourundertheParentalinfluence.Hebehavesasfather(ormother)wantedhimtobehave:compliantlyorprecociously,forexample.Orheadaptshimselfbywithdrawingor whining. Thus the Parental influence is a cause, and the adapted Child aneffect.ThenaturalChildisaspontaneousexpression:rebellionorcreativity,forexample.Aconfirmationof structural analysis is seen in the resultsofalcoholintoxication. Usually this decommissions the Parent first, so that the adaptedChild is freedof theParental influence, and is transformedby release into thenaturalChild.

Itisseldomnecessary,foreffectivegameanalysis,togobeyondwhathasbeenoutlinedaboveasfaraspersonalitystructureisconcerned.

Ego states are normal physiological phenomena. The human brain is theorganororganizerofpsychic life,and itsproductsareorganizedandstored inthe form of ego states. There is already concrete evidence for this in somefindings of Penfield and his associates.1,2 There are other sorting systems atvariouslevels,suchasfactualmemory,butthenaturalformofexperienceitselfisinshiftingstatesofmind.Eachtypeofegostatehasitsownvitalvalueforthe

humanorganism.In the Child reside intuition,3 creativity and spontaneous drive and

enjoyment.The Adult is necessary for survival. It processes data and computes the

probabilitieswhichareessentialfordealingeffectivelywiththeoutsideworld.Italso experiences its own kinds of setbacks and gratifications.Crossing a busyhighway, for example, requires the processing of a complex series of velocitydata; action is suspended until the computations indicate a high degree ofprobability for reaching the other side safely. The gratifications offered bysuccessful computations of this type afford someof the joys of skiing, flying,sailing, and other mobile sports. Another task of the Adult is to regulate theactivitiesoftheParentandtheChild,andtomediateobjectivelybetweenthem.

The Parent has twomain functions. First, it enables the individual to acteffectively as the parent of actual children, thus promoting the survival of thehumanrace.Itsvalueinthisrespectisshownbythefactthatinraisingchildren,peopleorphanedin infancyseemtohaveaharder timethanthosefromhomesunbrokenintoadolescence.Secondly,itmakesmanyresponsesautomatic,whichconservesagreatdealoftimeandenergy.Manythingsaredonebecause‘That’sthe way it’s done.’ This frees the Adult from the necessity of makinginnumerable trivial decisions, so that it can devote itself to more importantissues,leavingroutinematterstotheParent.

Thus all three aspects of the personality have a high survival and livingvalue,anditisonlywhenoneortheotherofthemdisturbsthehealthybalancethatanalysisand reorganizationare indicated.Otherwiseeachof them,Parent,Adult,andChild,isentitledtoequalrespectandhasitslegitimateplaceinafullandproductivelife.

REFERENCES

1. Penfield, W., ‘Memory Mechanisms’, Archives of Neurology &Psychiatry,67:178–198,1952.

2.Penfield,W.,andJasper,H.,EpilepsyandtheFunctionalAnatomyoftheHumanBrain,Churchill,1954,Chapter11.

3.Berne,E.,‘ThePsychodynamicsofIntuition’,PsychiatricQuarterly,36:294–300,1962.

2·TransactionalAnalysis

THE unit of social intercourse is called a transaction. If two or more peopleencounter each other in a social aggregation, sooner or later one of themwillspeak, or give some other indication of acknowledging the presence of theothers.Thisiscalledthetransactionalstimulus.Anotherpersonwillthensayordosomethingwhichisinsomewayrelatedtothisstimulus,andthatiscalledthetransactional response. Simple transactional analysis is concerned withdiagnosingwhichego state implemented the transactional stimulus, andwhichoneexecuted the transactional response.The simplest transactionsare those inwhichbothstimulusandresponsearisefromtheAdultsofthepartiesconcerned.The agent, estimating from the data before him that a scalpel is now theinstrumentofchoice,holdsouthishand.Therespondentappraisesthisgesturecorrectly,estimates theforcesanddistances involved,andplaces thehandleofthe scalpel exactlywhere the surgeon expects it.Next in simplicity areChild-Parenttransactions.Thefeveredchildasksforaglassofwater,andthenurturingmotherbringsit.

Both these transactions are complementary; that is, the response isappropriate and expected and follows the natural order of healthy humanrelationships.Thefirst,whichisclassifiedasComplementaryTransactionTypeI,isrepresentedinFigure2A.Thesecond,ComplementaryTransactionTypeII,isshowninFigure2B.Itisevident,however,thattransactionstendtoproceedinchains, so that each response is in turn a stimulus. The first rule ofcommunication is that communication will proceed smoothly as long astransactionsarecomplementary;anditscorollaryisthataslongastransactionsarecomplementary,communicationcan,inprinciple,proceedindefinitely.Theserules are independent of the nature and content of the transactions; they arebased entirely on the direction of the vectors involved. As long as thetransactions are complementary, it is irrelevant to the rulewhether twopeopleareengagingincriticalgossip(Parent-Parent),solvingaproblem(Adult-Adult),orplayingtogether(Child-ChildorParent-Child).

The converse rule is that communication is broken off when a crossedtransaction occurs. Themost common crossed transaction, and the onewhichcauses and always has caused most of the social difficulties in the world,whether inmarriage, love, friendship, orwork, is represented in Figure 3A asCrossedTransactionTypeI.Thistypeoftransactionistheprincipalconcernofpsychotherapists and is typified by the classical transference reaction of

psychoanalysis. The stimulus isAdult-Adult: e.g., ‘Maybewe should find outwhyyou’vebeendrinkingmorelately,’or,‘Doyouknowwheremycuff linksare?’TheappropriateAdult-Adultresponseineachcasewouldbe:‘Maybeweshould.I’dcertainlyliketoknow!’or,‘Onthedesk.’Iftherespondentflaresup,however,theresponseswillbesomethinglike‘You’realwayscriticizingme,justlikemy fatherdid,’ or, ‘Youalwaysblameme for everything.’These arebothChild-Parent responses, and as the transactional diagram shows, the vectorscross. In such cases theAdult problems about drinking or cuff linksmust besuspended until the vectors can be realigned. This may take anywhere fromseveralmonthsinthedrinkingexampletoafewsecondsinthecaseofthecufflinks. Either the agent must become Parental as a complement to therespondent’s suddenly activated Child, or the respondent’s Adult must bereactivated as a complement to the agent’sAdult. If themaid rebels during adiscussion of dishwashing, the Adult-Adult conversation about dishes isfinished;therecanonlyensueeitheraChild-Parentdiscourse,oradiscussionofadifferentAdultsubject,namelyhercontinuedemployment.

Figure2.ComplementaryTransactions

TheconverseofCrossedTransactionTypeIisillustratedinFigure3B.Thisis the counter-transference reaction familiar to psychotherapists, in which thepatient makes an objective, Adult observation, and the therapist crosses thevectors by responding like a parent talking to a child. This is CrossedTransactionTypeII.Ineverydaylife,‘Doyouknowwheremycufflinksare?’mayelicit: ‘Whydon’tyoukeep trackofyourown things?You’renotachildanymore.’

Figure3.CrossedTransactions

TherelationshipdiagraminFigure4,showingtheninepossiblevectorsofsocial action between an agent and a respondent, has some interestinggeometrical (topological) qualities. Complementary transactions between‘psychological equals’ are represented by (1–1)2, (5–5)2 and (9–9)2. There arethreeothercomplementarytransactions:(2–4)(4–2),(3–7)(7–3)and(6–8)(8–6).All other combinations form crossed transactions, and inmost cases theseshow up as crossings in the diagram: e.g., (3–7) (3–7), which results in twospeechless people glaring at each other. If neither of them gives way,communicationisfinishedandtheymustpart.Themostcommonsolutionsareforonetoyieldandtake(7–3),whichresults inagameof‘Uproar’;orbetter,(5–5)2,inwhichcasetheybothburstoutlaughingorshakehands.

Simple complementary transactions most commonly occur in superficialworking and social relationships, and these are easily disturbed by simplecrossed transactions. In fact a superficial relationship may be defined as onewhich is confined to simple complementary transactions. Such relationshipsoccurinactivities,ritualsandpastimes.Morecomplexareulteriortransactions–thoseinvolvingtheactivityofmorethantwoegostatessimultaneously–andthiscategoryisthebasisforgames.Salesmenareparticularlyadeptatangulartransactions,thoseinvolvingthreeegostates.Acrudebutdramaticexampleofasalesgameisillustratedinthefollowingexchange:

Figure4.ARelationshipDiagram

Salesman:‘Thisoneisbetter,butyoucan’taffordit.’Housewife:‘That’stheoneI’lltake.’

The analysis of this transaction is shown in Figure 5A. The salesman, asAdult,statestwoobjectivefacts:‘Thisoneisbetter’and‘Youcan’taffordit’.Attheostensible,orsocial, level thesearedirectedtotheAdultof thehousewife,whose Adult reply would be: ‘You are correct on both counts.’ However, theulterior,orpsychological,vectorisdirectedbythewell-trainedandexperiencedAdult of the salesman to the housewife’s Child. The correctness of hisjudgement is demonstrated by the Child’s reply, which says in effect:‘Regardlessofthefinancialconsequences,I’llshowthatarrogantfellowI’masgoodasanyofhiscustomers.’Atbothlevelsthetransactioniscomplementary,sinceherreplyisacceptedatfacevalueasanAdultpurchasingcontract.

Figure5.UlteriorTransactions

Aduplex ulterior transaction involves four ego states, and is commonly

seeninflirtationgames.

Cowboy:‘Comeandseethebarn.’Visitor:‘I’velovedbarnseversinceIwasalittlegirl.’

As shown in Figure 5B, at the social level this is an Adult conversationaboutbarns,andat thepsychological level it isaChildconversationaboutsexplay.OnthesurfacetheAdultseemstohavetheinitiative,butasinmostgames,the outcome is determined by theChild, and the participantsmay be in for asurprise.

Transactionsmaybeclassified,then,ascomplementaryorcrossed,simpleorulterior,andulteriortransactionsmaybesubdividedintoangularandduplextypes.

3·ProceduresandRituals

TRANSACTIONS usually proceed in series. These series are not random, but areprogrammed.Programmingmaycomefromoneofthreesources:Parent,Adultor Child, or more generally, from society, material or idiosyncrasy. Since theneeds of adaptation require that the Child be shielded by the Parent orAdultuntil each social situation has been tested, Child programming is most apt tooccur in situations of privacy and intimacy, where preliminary testing hasalreadybeendone.

The simplest forms of social activity are procedures and rituals. Someofthese are universal and some local, but all of them have to be learned. Aprocedure is a series of simple complementary Adult transactions directedtowards themanipulation of reality. Reality is defined as having two aspects:static and dynamic. Static reality comprises all the possible arrangements ofmatter in the universe. Arithmetic, for example, consists of statements aboutstaticreality.Dynamicrealitymaybedefinedasthepotentialitiesforinteractionof all the energy systems in the universe. Chemistry, for example, consists ofstatementsaboutdynamic reality.Proceduresarebasedondataprocessingandprobabilityestimatesconcerningthematerialofreality,andreachtheirhighestdevelopment in professional techniques. Piloting an airplane and removing anappendixareprocedures.Psychotherapyisaprocedureinsofarasitisunderthecontrolofthetherapist’sAdult,anditisnotaprocedureinsofarashisParentorChildtakesovertheexecutive.Theprogrammingofaprocedureisdeterminedbythematerial,onthebasisofestimatesmadebytheagent’sAdult.

Twovariablesareusedinevaluatingprocedures.Aprocedureissaidtobeefficientwhentheagentmakesthebestpossibleuseofthedataandexperienceavailabletohim,regardlessofanydeficienciesthatmayexistinhisknowledge.If the Parent or the Child interferes with the Adult’s data processing, theprocedurebecomescontaminatedandwillbelessefficient.Theeffectivenessofa procedure is judgedby the actual results.Thus efficiency is a psychologicalcriterionandeffectivenessisamaterialone.Anativeassistantmedicalofficerona tropical island became very adept at removing cataracts. He used whatknowledgehehadwithaveryhighdegreeofefficiency,butsinceheknewlessthantheEuropeanmedicalofficer,hewasnotquiteaseffective.TheEuropeanbegantodrinkheavilysothathisefficiencydropped,butatfirsthiseffectivenesswasnotdiminished.Butwhenhishandsbecametremulousastheyearswentby,his assistant began to surpass him not only in efficiency, but also in

effectiveness. Itcanbeseenfromthisexample thatbothof thesevariablesarebestevaluatedbyanexpertintheproceduresinvolved–efficiencybypersonalacquaintancewiththeagent,andeffectivenessbysurveyingtheactualresults.

From the present viewpoint, a ritual is a stereotyped series of simplecomplementarytransactionsprogrammedbyexternalsocialforces.Aninformalritual, such as social leave-taking, may be subject to considerable localvariationsindetails,althoughthebasicformremainsthesame.Aformalritual,suchasaRomanCatholicMass,offersmuchlessoption.TheformofaritualisParentally determined by tradition, but more recent ‘parental’ influences mayhave similar but less stable effects in trivial instances. Some formal rituals ofspecial historical or anthropological interest have two phases: (1) a phase inwhich transactions are carriedonunder rigidParental strictures (2) aphaseofParental licence, in which the Child is allowed more or less completetransactionalfreedom,resultinginanorgy.

Many formal rituals started off as heavily contaminated though fairlyefficientprocedures,butastimepassedandcircumstanceschanged,theylostallprocedural validity while still retaining their usefulness as acts of faith.Transactionally they represent guilt-relieving or reward-seeking complianceswithtraditionalParentaldemands.Theyofferasafe,reassuring(apotropaic),andoftenenjoyablemethodofstructuringtime.

Of more significance as an introduction to game analysis are informalrituals,andamongthemostinstructivearetheAmericangreetingrituals.

1A: ‘Hi!’ (Hello, good morning.) 1B: ‘Hi!’ (Hello, good morning.) 2A:‘Warmenough forya?’ (Howare you?) 2B: ‘Sure is.Looks like rain, though.’(Fine.Howareyou?)3A:‘Well,takecarayourself.’(Okay.)3B:‘I’llbeseeingyou.’

4A:‘Solong.’4B:‘Solong.’

It is apparent that this exchange is not intended to convey information.Indeed, if there is any information, it is wiselywithheld. Itmight takeMrAfifteen minutes to say how he is, and Mr B, who is only the most casualacquaintance, has no intentionof devoting thatmuch time to listening to him.This series of transactions is quite adequately characterized by calling it an‘eight-stroke ritual’. IfAandBwere inahurry, theymightbothbecontentedwith a two-stroke exchange, Hi-Hi. If they were old-fashioned Orientalpotentates, they might go through a two-hundred stroke ritual before settlingdown tobusiness.Meanwhile, in the jargonof transactionalanalysis,AandB

haveimprovedeachother’shealthslightly;forthemoment,atleast,‘theirspinalcordswon’tshrivelup’,andeachisaccordinglygrateful.

Thisritualisbasedoncarefulintuitivecomputationsbybothparties.Atthisstage of their acquaintance they figure that they owe each other exactly fourstrokesateachmeeting,andnotoftener thanonceaday. If they run intoeachotheragainshortly,saywithinthenexthalf-hour,andhavenonewbusinesstotransact, theywill pass bywithout any sign, orwith only the slightest nod ofrecognition,oratmostwithaveryperfunctoryHi-Hi.Thesecomputationsholdnot only for short intervals but over periods of several months. Let us nowconsiderMrCandMrD,whopasseachotheraboutonceaday,tradeonestrokeeach–Hi-Hi–andgo theirways.MrCgoesonamonth’svacation.Thedayafterhereturns,heencountersMrDasusual.IfonthisoccasionMrDmerelysays ‘Hi!’ and no more,Mr C will be offended, ‘his spinal cord will shrivelslightly’.Byhiscalculations,MrDandheoweeachotheraboutthirtystrokes.These can be compressed into a few transactions, if those transactions areemphaticenough.MrD’ssideproperlyrunssomethinglikethis(whereeachunitof ‘intensity’ or ‘interest’ is equivalent to a stroke): 1D: ‘Hi!’ (1 unit) 2D:‘Haven’t seen you around lately.’(2 units) 3D: ‘Oh,have you!Where did yougo?’ (5 units) 4D: ‘Say, that’s interesting. How was it?’ (7 units) 5D: ‘Well,you’re sure looking fine.’ (4 units) ‘Did your family go along?’ (4 units) 6D:‘Well,gladtoseeyouback.’(4units)7D:‘Solong.’(1unit)

ThisgivesMrDa totalof28units.BothheandMrCknowthathewillmake up the missing units the following day, so the account is now, for allpracticalpurposes,squared.Twodayslatertheywillbebackattheirtwo-strokeexchange,Hi-Hi.But now they ‘knoweachother better’, i.e., eachknows theotherisreliable,andthismaybeusefuliftheyshouldmeet‘socially’.

The inversecase isalsoworthconsidering,MrEandMrFhavesetupatwo-stroke ritual,Hi-Hi.Oneday insteadof passingon,MrE stops and asks:‘Howareyou?’Theconversationproceedsasfollows:1E:‘Hi!’

1F:‘Hi!’2E:‘Howareyou?’2F(puzzled):‘Fine.Howareyou?’3E:‘Everything’sgreatWarmenoughforyou?’3F:‘Yeah.’(Cautiously.)‘Lookslikerain,though.’4E:‘Nicetoseeyouagain.’4F: ‘Same here. Sorry, I’ve got to get to the library before it closes. So

long.’5E:‘Solong.’

AsMrFhurriesaway,hethinkstohimself:‘What’scomeoverhimallofasudden?Ishesellinginsuranceorsomething?’Intransactionaltermsthisreads:‘Allheowesmeisonestroke,whyishegivingmefive?’

An even simpler demonstration of the truly transactional, business-likenatureof these simple rituals is theoccasionwhenMrGsays ‘Hi!’andMrHpasses onwithout replying.MrG’s reaction is ‘What’s thematterwith him?’meaning: ‘I gave him a stroke and he didn’t giveme one in return.’ IfMrHkeeps thisupandextends it tootheracquaintances,he isgoing tocausesometalkinhiscommunity.

In borderline cases it is sometimes difficult to distinguish between aprocedure and a ritual. The tendency is for the laymen to call professionalproceduresrituals,whileactuallyeverytransactionmaybebasedonsound,evenvitalexperience,butthelaymandoesnothavethebackgroundtoappreciatethat.Conversely, there is a tendency for professionals to rationalize ritualisticelementsthatstillclingtotheirprocedures,andtodismissscepticallaymenonthe ground that they are not equipped to understand.And one of theways inwhich entrenched professionals may resist the introduction of sound newproceduresisbylaughingthemoffasrituals.HencethefateofSemmelweisandotherinnovators.

Theessentialandsimilarfeatureofbothproceduresandritualsisthattheyarestereotyped.Oncethefirsttransactionhasbeeninitiated,thewholeseriesispredictable and follows a predetermined course to a foreordained conclusionunlessspecialconditionsarise.Thedifferencebetweenthemliesintheoriginofthe predetermination: procedures are programmedby theAdult and rituals areParentallypatterned.

Individualswhoarenotcomfortableoradeptwithritualssometimesevadethembysubstitutingprocedures.Theycanbefound,forexample,amongpeoplewholiketohelpthehostesswithpreparingorservingfoodanddrinkatparties.

4·Pastimes

PASTIMES occur in social and temporal matrices of varying degrees ofcomplexity,andhencevaryincomplexity.However,ifweusethetransactionasthe unit of social intercourse, we can dissect out of appropriate situations anentitywhichmaybecalledasimplepastime.Thismaybedefinedasaseriesofsemi-ritualistic, simple, complementary transactions arranged around a singlefieldofmaterial,whoseprimaryobject is to structure an intervalof time.Thebeginningandendoftheintervalaretypicallysignalledbyproceduresorrituals.The transactions are adaptivelyprogrammed so that eachpartywill obtain themaximumgainsoradvantagesduringtheinterval.Thebetterhisadaptation,themorehewillgetoutofit.

Pastimesare typicallyplayedatparties (‘socialgatherings’)orduring thewaiting period before a formal group meeting begins; such waiting periodsbefore a meeting ‘begins’ have the same structure and dynamics as ‘parties’.Pastimesmay take theformdescribedas ‘chit-chat’or theymaybecomemoreserious,e.g.,argumentative.A largecocktailpartyoften functionsasakindofgalleryfortheexhibitionofpastimes.Inonecorneroftheroomafewpeopleareplaying‘PTA’,anothercorneristheforumfor‘Psychiatry’,athirdisthetheatrefor‘EverBeen’or‘WhatBecame’,thefourthisengagedfor‘GeneralMotors’,andthebuffetisreservedforwomenwhowanttoplay‘Kitchen’or‘Wardrobe’.Theproceedingsatsuchagatheringmaybealmost identical,withachangeofnames here and there, with the proceedings at a dozen similar parties takingplacesimultaneouslyinthearea.Atanotherdozeninadifferentsocialstratum,adifferentassortmentofpastimesisunderway.

Pastimesmaybeclassifiedindifferentways.Theexternaldeterminantsaresociological (sex, age, marital status, cultural, racial or economic). ‘GeneralMotors’ (comparing cars) and ‘Who Won’ (sports) are both ‘Man Talk’.‘Grocery’,‘Kitchen’,and‘Wardrobe’areall‘LadyTalk’–or,aspractisedintheSouthSeas,‘MaryTalk’.‘MakingOut’isadolescent,whiletheonsetofmiddleageismarkedbyashiftto‘BalanceSheet’.Otherspeciesofthisclass,whichareallvariationsof‘SmallTalk’,are:‘HowTo’(goaboutdoingsomething),aneasyfiller for short airplane trips; ‘HowMuch’ (does it cost), a favourite in lowermiddle-class bars; ‘EverBeen’ (to somenostalgic place), amiddle-class gamefor ‘oldhands’ such as salesmen ;‘DoYouKnow’ (so-and-so) for lonely ones;‘What Became’ (of good old Joe), often played by economic successes andfailures:‘MorningAfter’(whatahangover)and‘Martini’(Iknowabetterway),

typicalofacertainkindofambitiousyoungperson.The structural-transactional classification is a more personal one. Thus

‘PTA’maybeplayedatthreelevels.AttheChild-Childlevelittakestheformof‘How do You Deal with Recalcitrant Parents’; its Adult-Adult form, ‘PTA’proper,ispopularamongwell-readyoungmothers;witholderpeopleittendstotakethedogmaticParent-Parentformof‘JuvenileDelinquency’.Somemarriedcouplesplay ‘TellThemDear’, inwhich thewife isParental and thehusbandcomesthroughlikeaprecociouschild.‘LookMaNoHands’issimilarlyaChild-Parentpastimesuitableforpeopleofanyage,sometimesdiffidentlyadaptedinto‘AwShucksFellows’.

Even more cogent is the psychological classification of pastimes. Both‘PTA’ and ‘Psychiatry’, for example, may be played in either projective orintrojective forms. The analysis of ‘PTA Projective Type, is represented inFigure6A, basedon the followingParent-Parentparadigm:A: ‘Therewouldn’tbeallthisdelinquencyifitweren’tforbrokenhomes.’

B: ‘It’s not only that. Even in good homes nowadays the children aren’ttaughtmannersthewaytheyusedtobe.’

‘PTA’,IntrojectiveType,runsalongthefollowinglines(Adult-Adult):C:‘Ijustdon’tseemtohavewhatittakestobeamother.’

D:‘Nomatterhowhardyoutry,theynevergrowupthewayyouwantthemto, so you have to keep wondering if you’re doing the right thing and whatmistakesyou’vemade.’

‘Psychiatry’,ProjectiveType,takestheAdult-Adultform:

E: ‘I think it’s some unconscious oral frustration thatmakes him act thatway.’

F:‘Youseemtohaveyouraggressionssowellsublimated.’

Figure 6B represents ‘Psychiatry’, Introjective Type, another Adult-Adultpastime.

G:‘Thatpaintingsymbolizessmearingtome.’

H:‘Inmycase,paintingistryingtopleasemyfather.’

Figure6.Pastimes

Besidesstructuringtimeandprovidingmutuallyacceptablestrokingfortheparties concerned, pastimes serve the additional function of being social-selectionprocesses.Whileapastime is inprogress, theChild ineachplayer iswatchfullyassessing thepotentialitiesof theothers involved.At theendof theparty,eachpersonwillhaveselectedcertainplayershewouldliketoseemoreof, while others he will discard, regardless of how skilfully or pleasantlytheyeach engaged in the pastime.Theones he selects are thosewho seem themost likely candidates for more complex relationships – that is, games. Thissorting system, howeverwell rationalized, is actually largely unconscious andintuitive.

InspecialcasestheAdultoverridestheChildintheselectionprocess.Thisismostclearlyillustratedbyaninsurancesalesmanwhocarefullylearnstoplaysocialpastimes.Whileheisplaying,hisAdultlistensforpossibleprospectsandselects them from the players as people he would like to see more of. Theiradeptnessatgamesorcongenialityisquiteirrelevanttohisprocessofselection,which is based, as in most cases, on peripheral factors – in this instance,financialreadiness.

Pastimes, however, have a quite specific aspect of exclusiveness. Forexample,‘ManTalk’and‘LadyTalk’donotmix.Peopleplayingahardhandof‘Ever Been’ (there) will be annoyed by an intruder who wants to play ‘HowMuch’(foravocados)or‘MorningAfter’.PeopleplayingProjective‘PTA’willresenttheintrusionofIntrojective‘PTA’,athoughusuallynotasintenselyastheotherwayaround.

Pastimesformthebasisfortheselectionofacquaintances,andmayleadto

friendship.Apartyofwomenwhodropinateachother’shouseseverymorningforcoffeetoplay‘DelinquentHusband’arelikelytogiveacoolreceptiontoanewneighbourwhowantstoplay‘SunnySideUp’.Iftheyaresayinghowmeantheirhusbandsare, it is toodisconcerting tohaveanewcomerdeclare thatherhusbandisjustmarvellous,infactperfect,andtheywillnotkeepherlong.Soatacocktailparty,ifsomeonewantstomovefromonecornertoanother,hemusteitherjoininthepastimeplayedinhisnewlocationorelsesuccessfullyswitchthewholeproceeding intoanewchannel.Agoodhostess,ofcourse, takes thesituationinhandimmediatelyandstatestheprogramme:‘WewerejustplayingProjective “PTA”.What do you think?’ Or: ‘Come now, you girls have beenplaying “Wardrobe” long enoughMr J here is awriter/politician/surgeon, andI’msurehe’dliketoplay“LookMaNoHands”.Wouldn’tyou,MrJ?’

Anotherimportantadvantageobtainedfrompastimesistheconfirmationofrole and the stabilizing of position. A role is something like what Jung callspersona, except that it is less opportunistic and more deeply rooted in theindividual’sfantasies.ThusinProjective‘PTA’oneplayermaytaketheroleoftoughParent,another theroleof righteousParent,a third theroleof indulgentParentandafourththeroleofhelpfulParent.AllfourexperienceandexhibitaParentalegostate,buteachpresentshimselfdifferently.Theroleofeachoneisconfirmed if it prevails – that is, if it meets with no antagonism or isstrengthened by any antagonism it meets or is approved by certain types ofpeoplewithstroking.

Theconfirmationofhisrolestabilizestheindividual’sposition,andthisiscalled the existential advantage from the pastime. A position is a simplepredicativestatementwhichinfluencesalloftheindividual’stransactions;inthelong run itdetermineshisdestinyandoften thatofhisdescendantsaswell.Apositionmaybemoreorlessabsolute.TypicalpositionsfromwhichProjective‘PTA’canbeplayedare:‘Allchildrenarebad!’‘Allotherchildrenarebad!’‘Allchildrenaresad!’‘Allchildrenarepersecuted!’Thesepositionsmightgiveriseto the role of the tough, the righteous, the indulgent and the helpful Parent,respectively.Actuallyapositionisprimarilymanifestedbythementalattitudetowhichitgivesrise,anditiswiththisattitudethattheindividualundertakesthetransactionswhichconstitutehisrole.

Positionsaretakenandbecomefixedsurprisinglyearly,fromthesecondoreven the first year to the seventh year of life – in any case long before theindividual is competent or experienced enough to make such a seriouscommitment.It isnotdifficulttodeducefromanindividual’spositionthekindof childhoodhemusthavehad.Unless somethingor somebody intervenes,hespendstherestofhislifestabilizinghispositionanddealingwithsituationsthat

threatenit:byavoidingthem,wardingoffcertainelementsormanipulatingthemprovocatively so that theyare transformed from threats into justifications.Onereasonpastimesaresostereotypedisthattheyservesuchstereotypedpurposes.But thegains theyoffershowwhypeopleplay themsoeagerly,andwhy theycanbe so pleasant if playedwith peoplewhohave constructive or benevolentpositionstomaintain.

A pastime is not always easy to distinguish from an activity, andcombinationsfrequentlyoccur.Manycommonplacepastimes,suchas‘GeneralMotors’,consistofwhatpsychologistsmightcallMultiple-Choice–Sentence-Completionexchanges.

A. ‘I like a Ford/Chevrolet/Plymouth better than aFord/Chevrolet/Plymouthbecause…’

B. ‘Oh. Well, I’d rather have a Ford/Chevrolet/Plymouth than aFord/Chevrolet/Plymouthbecause…’

Itisapparentthattheremayactuallybesomeusefulinformationconveyedinsuchstereotypes.

A few other common pastimes may be mentioned. ‘Me Too’ is often avariant of ‘Ain’t It Awful’. ‘Why Don’t They’ (do something about it) is afavouriteamonghousewiveswhodonotwishtobeemancipated.‘ThenWe’ll’isa Child-Child pastime. ‘Let’s Find’ (something to do) is played by juveniledelinquentsormischievousgrownups.

5·Games

1·DEFINITION

AGAMEisanongoingseriesofcomplementaryulteriortransactionsprogressingto a well-defined, predictable outcome. Descriptively it is a recurring set oftransactions, often repetitious, superficially plausible, with a concealedmotivation;or,morecolloquially,aseriesofmoveswithasnare,or‘gimmick’.Gamesareclearlydifferentiated fromprocedures, rituals, andpastimesby twochiefcharacteristics:(1)theirulteriorqualityand(2)thepayoff.Proceduresmaybe successful, rituals effective, and pastimes profitable, but all of themare bydefinitioncandid;theymayinvolvecontest,butnotconflict,andtheendingmaybesensational,butitisnotdramatic.Everygame,ontheotherhand,isbasicallydishonest, and the outcome has a dramatic, as distinct from merely exciting,quality.

Itremainstodistinguishgamesfromtheoneremainingtypeofsocialactionwhichsofarhasnotbeendiscussed.Anoperationisasimpletransactionorsetoftransactionsundertakenforaspecific,statedpurpose.Ifsomeonefranklyasksforreassuranceandgetsit,thatisanoperation.Ifsomeoneasksforreassurance,andafteritisgiventurnsitinsomewaytothedisadvantageofthegiver,thatisagame. Superficially, then, a game looks like a set of operations, but after thepayoff itbecomesapparent that these‘operations’werereallymanoeuvres;nothonestrequestsbutmovesinthegame.

Inthe‘insurancegame’,forexample,nomatterwhattheagentappearstobe doing in conversation, if he is a hard player he is really looking for orworking on a prospect.What he is after, if he isworth his salt, is to ‘make akilling’. The same applies to ‘the real estate game’, ‘the pajama game’ andsimilaroccupations.Henceatasocialgathering,whileasalesmanisengagedinpastimes, particularly variants of ‘Balance Sheet’, his congenial participationmay conceal a series of skilful manoeuvres designed to elicit the kind ofinformationheisprofessionallyinterestedin.Therearedozensoftradejournalsdevoted to improving commercial manoeuvres, and which give accounts ofoutstanding players and games (interesting operatorswhomake unusually bigdeals).Transactionallyspeaking, thesearemerelyvariantsofSports Illustrated,ChessWorld,andothersportsmagazines.

Asfarasangulartransactionsareconcerned–gameswhichareconsciously

plannedwithprofessionalprecisionunderAdultcontrol toyield themaximumgains – the big ‘con games’ which flourished in the early 1900s are hard tosurpassfordetailedpracticalplanningandpsychologicalvirtuosity.1

What we are concerned with here, however, are the unconscious gamesplayedbyinnocentpeopleengagedinduplextransactionsofwhichtheyarenotfullyaware,andwhichformthemostimportantaspectofsociallifeallovertheworld.Because of their dynamic qualities, games are easy to distinguish frommerestaticattitudes,whicharisefromtakingaposition.

Theuseoftheword‘game’shouldnotbemisleading.Asexplainedintheintroduction, it does not necessarily imply fun or even enjoyment. Manysalesmendonotconsidertheirworkfun,asArthurMillermadeclearinhisplay,TheDeath of a Salesman. And theremay be no lack of seriousness. Footballgamesnowadaysaretakenveryseriously,butnomoresothansuchtransactionalgamesas‘Alcoholic’or“Third-DegreeRapo’.

Thesameappliestotheword‘play’,asanyonewhohas‘played’hardpokeror ‘played’ the stock market over a long period can testify. The possibleseriousnessofgamesandplay,andthepossiblyseriousresults,arewellknowntoanthropologists.Themostcomplexgamethateverexisted,thatof‘Courtier’as described so well by Stendhal inThe Charterhouse of Parma, was deadlyserious.Thegrimmestofall,ofcourse,is‘War’.

2·ATYPICALGAME

The most common game played between spouses is colloquially called ‘If ItWeren’tForYou’,andthiswillbeusedtoillustratethecharacteristicsofgamesingeneral.

Mrs White complained that her husband severely restricted her socialactivities,sothatshehadneverlearnedtodance.Duetochangesinherattitudebroughtaboutbypsychiatrictreatment,herhusbandbecamelesssureofhimselfand more indulgent. Mrs White was then free to enlarge the scope of heractivities.Shesignedupfordancingclasses,andthendiscoveredtoherdespairthatshehadamorbidfearofdancefloorsandhadtoabandonthisproject.

This unfortunate adventure, along with similar ones, laid bare someimportantaspectsof thestructureofhermarriage.Outofhermanysuitorsshehad picked a domineering man for a husband. She was then in a position tocomplainthatshecoulddoallsortsofthings‘ifitweren’tforyou’.Manyofherwomen friends also had domineering husbands, and when they met for theirmorningcoffee,theyspentagooddealoftimeplaying‘IfItWeren’tForHim’.

As it turned out, however, contrary to her complaints, her husband wasperformingaveryrealserviceforherbyforbiddinghertodosomethingshewasdeeplyafraidof, andbypreventingher, in fact, fromevenbecomingawareofherfears.ThiswasonereasonherChildhadshrewdlychosensuchahusband.

But there was more to it than that. His prohibitions and her complaintsfrequently led to quarrels, so that their sex life was seriously impaired. Andbecauseofhisfeelingsofguilt,hefrequentlybroughthergiftswhichmightnototherwisehavebeenforthcoming;certainlywhenhegavehermorefreedom,hisgiftsdiminished in lavishnessandfrequency.Sheandherhusbandhad little incommonbesidestheirhouseholdworriesandthechildren,sothattheirquarrelsstood out as important events; itwasmainly on these occasions that they hadanything but themost casual conversations. At any rate, hermarried life hadprovedonethingtoherthatshehadalwaysmaintained:thatallmenweremeanandtyrannical.Asitturnedout,thisattitudewasrelatedtosomedaydreamsofbeingsexuallyabusedwhichhadplaguedherinearlieryears.

There are various ways of describing this game in general terms. It isapparent that itbelongs in the large fieldofsocialdynamics.Thebasic fact isthatbymarrying,MrandMrsWhitehaveanopportunitytocommunicatewitheachother,andsuchanopportunitymaybecalledsocialcontact.Thefactthatthey use this opportunity makes their household a social aggregation, ascontrasted with a New York subway train, for example, where people are inspatialcontactbutrarelyavailthemselvesoftheopportunityandsoformadis-socialaggregation.TheinfluencetheWhitesexertoneachother’sbehaviourandresponses constitutes social action. Various disciplineswould investigate suchsocialactionfromdifferentpointsofview.Sincewearehereconcernedwiththepersonalhistoriesandpsychodynamicsof the individuals involved, thepresentapproachisoneaspectofsocialpsychiatry; some implicit judgement ispassedon the ‘healthiness’of thegames studied.This is somewhatdifferent from themoreneutral and less committed attitudesof sociology and social psychology.Psychiatryreservestherighttosay‘Justamoment!’,whichtheotherdisciplinesdonot.Transactionalanalysisisabranchofsocialpsychiatry,andgameanalysisisaspecialaspectoftransactionalanalysis.

Practicalgameanalysisdealswithspecialcasesas theyappear inspecificsituations. Theoretical game analysis attempts to abstract and generalize thecharacteristicsofvariousgames,sothattheycanberecognizedindependentlyoftheir momentary verbal content and their cultural matrix. The theoreticalanalysisof‘IfItWeren’tForYou’,MaritalType,forexample,shouldstatethecharacteristicsofthatgameinsuchawaythatitcanberecognizedjustaseasilyin a New Guinea jungle village as in a Manhattan penthouse, whether it is

concernedwithanuptialpartyorwiththefinancialproblemsofgettingafishingrodforthegrandchildren;andregardlessofhowbluntlyorsubtlythemovesaremade, according to thepermissibledegreesof franknessbetweenhusbandandwife.Theprevalenceofthegameinagivensocietyisamatterforsociologyandanthropology.Gameanalysis,asapartofsocialpsychiatry,isonlyinterestedindescribing thegamewhen it doesoccur, regardless of howoften thatmaybe.This distinction is not complete, but it is analogous to thedistinctionbetweenpublic health and internalmedicine; the first is interested in the prevalence ofmalaria,whilethelatterstudiescasesofmalariaastheycomeup,inthejungleorinManhattan.

Atthepresenttimetheschemegivenbelowhasbeenfoundthemostusefulone for theoretical game analysis. No doubt it will be improved as furtherknowledge accumulates. The first requisite is to recognize that a certainsequence of manoeuvres meets the criteria of a game. As many samples aspossibleofthegamearethencollected.Thesignificantfeaturesofthecollectionareisolated.Certainaspectsemergeasessential.Thesearethenclassifiedunderheadingswhicharedesignedtobeasmeaningfulandinstructiveaspossibleinthecurrentstateofknowledge.Theanalysisisundertakenfromthepointofviewoftheonewhois‘it’–inthiscase,MrsWhite.

Thesis.Thisisageneraldescriptionofthegame,includingtheimmediatesequenceofevents (thesocial level)and informationabout theirpsychologicalbackground,evolutionandsignificance(thepsychologicallevel).Inthecaseof‘IfItWeren’tForYou’,MaritalType,thedetailsalreadygivenwillserve(pages45–7).Forthesakeofbrevity,thisgamewillhenceforthbereferredtoasIWFY.

Antithesis. The presumption that a certain sequence constitutes a game istentativeuntilithasbeenexistentiallyvalidated.Thisvalidationiscarriedoutbya refusal to play or by undercutting the payoff. The onewho is ‘it’ will thenmakemoreintenseeffortstocontinuethegame.Inthefaceofadamantrefusaltoplayorasuccessfulundercuttinghewillthenlapseintoastatecalled‘despair’,which in some respects resembles a depression, but is different in significantways.Itismoreacuteandcontainselementsoffrustrationandbewilderment.Itmay be manifested, for example, by the onset of perplexed weeping. In asuccessfultherapeuticsituationthismaysoonbereplacedbyhumorouslaughter,implyinganAdultrealization:‘ThereIgoagain!’Thusdespair isaconcernofthe Adult, while in depression it is the Child who has the executive power.Hopefulness,enthusiasmoralivelyinterestinone’ssurroundingsistheoppositeofdepression;laughteristheoppositeofdespair.Hencetheenjoyablequalityoftherapeuticgameanalysis.TheantithesistoIWFYispermissiveness.Aslongasthehusbandisprohibitive,thegamecanproceed.Ifinsteadofsaying‘Don’tyou

dare!’he says ‘Goahead!’ theunderlyingphobias areunmasked, and thewifecannolongerturnonhim,asdemonstratedinMrsWhite’scase.

Forclearunderstandingofagame,theantithesisshouldbeknownanditseffectivenessdemonstratedinpractice.

Aim.Thisstatessimplythegeneralpurposeofthegame.Sometimestherearealternatives.TheaimofIWFYmaybestatedaseitherreassurance(‘It’snotthat I’mafraid, it’s thathewon’t letme’)orvindication (‘It’snot that I’mnottrying, it’s thatheholdsmeback’).The reassuring function iseasier toclarifyand ismore in accordwith the security needs of thewife; therefore IWFY ismostsimplyregardedashavingtheaimofreassurance.

Roles. As previously noted, ego states are not roles but phenomena.Thereforeegostatesandroleshavetobedistinguishedinaformaldescription.Games may be described as two-handed, three-handed, many-handed, etc.,accordingtothenumberofrolesoffered.Sometimestheegostateofeachplayercorrespondstohisrole,sometimesitdoesnot.

IWFY is a two-handed game and calls for a restricted wife and adomineeringhusband.ThewifemayplayherroleeitherasaprudentAdult(‘It’sbestthatIdoashesays’)orasapetulantChild.ThedomineeringhusbandmaypreserveanAdultegostate(‘It’sbestthatyoudoasIsay’)orslipintoaParentalone(‘You’dbetterdowhatIsay’).

Dynamics. There are alternatives in stating the psychodynamic drivingforcesbehindeachcaseofagame.Itisusuallypossible,however,topickoutasingle psychodynamic concept which usefully, aptly and meaningfullyepitomizes thesituation.ThusIWFYisbestdescribedasderivingfromphobicsources.

Examples.Sincethechildhoodoriginsofagame,oritsinfantileprototypes,areinstructivetostudy,itisworthwhiletosearchforsuchcognatesinmakingaformal description. It happens that IWFY is just as frequently played by littlechildrenasbygrownups,sothechildhoodversionisthesameasthelaterone,withtheactualparentsubstitutedfortherestrictinghusband.

TransactionalParadigm.Thetransactionalanalysisofatypicalsituationispresented,givingboththesocialandpsychologicallevelsofarevealingulteriortransaction.InitsmostdramaticformIWFYatthesociallevelisaParent-Childgame.

MrWhite:‘Youstayhomeandtakecareofthehouse.’MrsWhite:‘Ifitweren’tforyou,Icouldbeouthavingfun.’Atthepsychologicallevel(theulteriormarriagecontract)therelationshipis

Child-Child,andquitedifferent.

MrWhite: ‘Youmust always be here when I get home. I’m terrified ofdesertion.’

MrsWhite:‘Iwillbeifyouhelpmeavoidphobicsituations.’

ThetwolevelsareillustratedinFigure7.Moves.Themovesofagamecorrespondroughlytothestrokesinaritual.

Asinanygame, theplayersbecomeincreasinglyadeptwithpractice.Wastefulmovesareeliminated,andmoreandmorepurposeiscondensedintoeachmove.‘Beautiful friendships’areoftenbasedon the fact that theplayerscomplementeachotherwithgreateconomyandsatisfaction,sothatthereisamaximumyieldwith a minimum effort from the games they play with each other. Certainintermediate,precautionaryorconcessionalmovescanbeelided,givingahighdegreeofelegancetotherelationship.

Figure7.AGame

The effort saved on defensive manoeuvres can be devoted to ornamentalflourishesinstead,tothedelightofbothpartiesandsometimesoftheonlookersaswell.Thestudentobservesthatthereisaminimumnumberofmovesessentialtotheprogressof thegame,andthesecanbestatedintheprotocol.Individualplayerswill embellish ormultiply these basicmoves according to their needs,talents or desires. The framework for IWFY is as follows (1) Instruction-Compliance(‘Youstayhome’–‘Allright’).

(2)Instruction-Protest(‘Youstayhomeagain’–‘Ifitweren’tforyou’).

Advantages. The general advantages of a game consist in its stabilizing

(homeostatic)functions.Biologicalhomeostasisispromotedbythestroking,andpsychological stability is reinforced by the confirmation of position. As hasalready been noted, stroking may take various forms, so that the biologicaladvantageofagamemaybestatedintactileterms.Thusthehusband’sroleinIWFY is reminiscent of a backhanded slap (quite different in effect from apalmarslap,whichisadirecthumiliation),andthewife’sresponseissomethinglikeapetulantkickintheshins.HencethebiologicalgainfromIWFYisderivedfrom belligerence-petulance exchanges: a distressing but apparently effectivewaytomaintainthehealthofnervoustissues.

Confirmation of the wife’s position – ‘All men are tyrants’ – is theexistentialadvantage.Thispositionisareactiontotheneedtosurrenderthatisinherent in the phobias, a demonstration of the coherent structure whichunderliesallgames.Theexpandedstatementwouldbe:‘IfIwentoutaloneinacrowd, I would be overcome by the temptation to surrender; at home I don’tsurrender:heforcesme,whichprovesthatallmenaretyrants.’Hencethisgameis commonly played by women who suffer from feelings of unreality, whichsignifies their difficulty in keeping theAdult in charge in situations of strongtemptation. The detailed elucidation of these mechanisms belongs topsychoanalysis rather thangame analysis. In game analysis the endproduct isthechiefconcern.

Internal psychological advantage of a game is its direct effect on thepsychic economy (libido). In IWFY the socially acceptable surrender to thehusband’sauthoritykeeps thewoman fromexperiencingneurotic fears.At thesame time it satisfiesmasochisticneeds, if they exist, usingmasochismnot inthesenseofself-abnegationbutwithitsclassicalmeaningofsexualexcitementin situations of deprivation, humiliation or pain. That is, it excites her to bedeprivedanddominated.

External psychological advantage is the avoidance of the feared situationby playing the game. This is especially obvious in IWFY, where it is theoutstanding motivation: by complying with the husband’s strictures, the wifeavoidsthepublicsituationswhichshefears.

Internal social advantage is designated by the name of the game as it isplayedintheindividual’sintimatecircle.Byhercompliance,thewifegainstheprivilegeof saying ‘If itweren’t foryou’.Thishelps to structure the time shemustspendwithherhusband;inthecaseofMrsWhite, thisneedforstructurewasespeciallystrongbecauseofthelackofothercommoninterests,especiallybefore the arrival of their offspring and after the children were grown. Inbetween, thegamewasplayedless intensivelyandlessfrequently,because thechildrenperformedtheirusualfunctionofstructuringtimefortheirparents,and

also provided an even more widely accepted version of IWFY, the busy-housewife variation. The fact that youngmothers in America often really arevery busy does not change the analysis of this variation. Game analysis onlyattemptstoanswerthisquestionwithoutprejudice:giventhatayoungwomanisbusy, how does she go about exploiting her busyness in order to get somecompensationforit?

Externalsocialadvantageisdesignatedbytheusemadeofthesituationinoutsidesocialcontacts.Inthecaseofthegame‘IfItWeren’tForYou’,whichiswhatthewifesaystoherhusband,thereisatransformationintothepastime‘IfIt Weren’t For Him’ when she meets with her friends over morning coffee.Again, the influenceofgames in the selectionof social companions is shown.Thenewneighbourwhoisinvitedformorningcoffeeisbeinginvitedtoplay‘IfItWeren’t For Him’. If she plays, well and good, she will soon be a bosomfriend of the old-timers, other things being equal. If she refuses to play andinsists on taking a charitable view of her husband, shewill not last long.Hersituationwillbethesameasifshekeptrefusingtodrinkatcocktailparties–inmostcircles,shewouldgraduallybedroppedfromtheguestlists.

This completes the analysis of the formal features of IWFY. In order toclarifytheprocedurefurther,theanalysisof‘WhyDon’tYou–YesBut’,whichisthemostcommongameplayedatsocialgatherings,committeemeetingsandpsychotherapygroupstheworldover,shouldbeconsulted(page101).

3·THEGENESISOFGAMES

Fromthepresentpointofview,childrearingmayberegardedasaneducationalprocessinwhichthechildistaughtwhatgamestoplayandhowtoplaythem.Heisalsotaughtprocedures,ritualsandpastimesappropriatetohispositioninthe local social situation, but these are less significant.His knowledge of andskill in procedures, rituals and pastimes determine what opportunities will beavailable tohim,other thingsbeingequal;buthisgamesdetermine theusehewillmakeofthoseopportunities,andtheoutcomesofsituationsforwhichheiseligible.Aselementsofhisscript,orunconsciouslife-plan,hisfavouredgamesalso determine his ultimate destiny (again with other things being equal): thepayoffsonhismarriageandcareer,andthecircumstancessurroundinghisdeath.

While conscientious parents devote a great deal of attention to teachingtheir children procedures, rituals and pastimes appropriate to their stations inlife, and with equal care select schools, colleges and churches where theirteachingswillbereinforced,theytendtooverlookthequestionofgames,which

formthebasicstructure for theemotionaldynamicsofeachfamily,andwhichthechildrenlearnthroughsignificantexperiencesineverydaylivingfromtheirearliestmonths.Relatedquestionshavebeendiscussedforthousandsofyearsina rather general, unsystematic fashion, and there has been some attempt at amoremethodicalapproachinthemodernorthopsychiatricliterature;butwithoutthe concept of games there is little possibility of a consistent investigation.Theories of internal individual psychodynamics have so far not been able tosolvesatisfactorilytheproblemsofhumanrelationships.Thesearetransactionalsituations which call for a theory of social dynamics that cannot be derivedsolelyfromconsiderationofindividualmotivations.

Sincethereareasyetfewwell-trainedspecialistsinchildpsychologyandchild psychiatry who are also trained in game analysis, observations on thegenesisofgamesaresparse.Fortunately,thefollowingepisodetookplaceinthepresenceofawell-educatedtransactionalanalyst.

Tanjy, age seven, got a stomach-ache at the dinner table and asked to beexcusedforthatreason.Hisparentssuggestedthatheliedownforawhile.HislittlebrotherMike,age three, thensaid, ‘Ihaveastomach-ache too,’evidentlyanglingforthesameconsideration.Thefatherlookedathimforafewsecondsandthenreplied,‘Youdon’twanttoplaythatgame,doyou?’WhereuponMikeburstoutlaughingandsaid,‘No!’

If this had been a household of food or bowel faddists,Mikewould alsohavebeenpackedofftobedbyhisalarmedparents.Ifheandtheyhadrepeatedthisperformanceseveraltimes,itmightbeanticipatedthatthisgamewouldhavebecome part ofMike’s character, as it so often does if the parents cooperate.Wheneverhewasjealousofaprivilegegrantedtoacompetitor,hewouldpleadillness in order to get some privileges himself. The ulterior transactionwouldthen consist of: (social level) ‘I don’t feel well’ + (psychological level) ‘Youmust grant me a privilege, too.’ Mike, however, was saved from such ahypochondriacalcareer.Perhapshewillendupwithaworsefate,butthatisnottheissue.Theissueisthatagameinstatunascendiwasbrokenuprighttherebythe father’s question and by the boy’s frank acknowledgement that what heproposedwasagame.

Thisdemonstratesclearlyenoughthatgamesarequitedeliberatelyinitiatedbyyoungchildren.After theybecomefixedpatternsofstimulusand response,theiroriginsbecomelost inthemistsof timeandtheirulteriornaturebecomesobscuredbysocialfogs.Bothcanbebroughtintoawarenessonlybyappropriateprocedures:theoriginbysomeformofanalytictherapyandtheulterioraspectbyantithesis.Repeatedclinicalexperiencealongtheselinesmakesitclear thatgames are imitative in nature, and that they are initially set up by the Adult

(neopsychic) aspect of the child’s personality. If the Child ego state can berevived in thegrownupplayer, thepsychological aptitudeof this segment (theAdultaspectof theChildegostate) issostriking,anditsskill inmanipulatingpeoplesoenviable,thatitiscolloquiallycalled‘TheProfessor’(ofPsychiatry).Henceinpsychotherapygroupswhichconcentrateongameanalysis,oneofthemore sophisticated procedures is the search for the little ‘Professor’ in eachpatient,whoseearlyadventuresinsettingupgamesbetweentheagesoftwoandeightare listened tobyeveryonepresentwithfascinationandoften,unless thegamesaretragic,withenjoymentandevenhilarity,inwhichthepatienthimselfmayjoinwithjustifiableself-appreciationandsmugness.Onceheisabletodothat, he is well on his way to relinquishing what may be an unfortunatebehaviourpatternwhichheismuchbetteroffwithout.

Thosearethereasonswhyintheformaldescriptionofagameanattemptisalwaysmadetodescribetheinfantileorchildhoodprototype.

4·THEFUNCTIONOFGAMES

Becausethereissolittleopportunityforintimacyindailylife,andbecausesomeformsofintimacy(especiallyifintense)arepsychologicallyimpossibleformostpeople,thebulkofthetimeinserioussociallifeistakenupwithplayinggames.Hencegamesarebothnecessaryanddesirable,andtheonlyproblematissueiswhether thegamesplayedbyanindividualoffer thebestyieldforhim.In thisconnexion it should be remembered that the essential feature of a game is itsculmination,orpayoff.Theprincipalfunctionofthepreliminarymovesistosetup the situation for this payoff, but they are always designed to harvest themaximumpermissiblesatisfactionateachstepasasecondaryproduct.Thusin‘Schlemiel’(makingmessesandthenapologizing)thepayoff,andthepurposeofthe game, is to obtain the forgiveness which is forced by the apology; thespillings and cigarette burns are only steps leading up to this, but each suchtrespassyields itsownpleasure.Theenjoymentderived fromthespillingdoesnotmakespillingagame.Theapologyis thecriticalstimulus that leads to thedenouement.Otherwisethespillingwouldsimplybeadestructiveprocedure,adelinquencyperhapsenjoyable.

The game of ‘Alcoholic’ is similar; whatever the physiological origin, ifany, of the need to drink, in terms of game analysis the imbibing ismerely amove in a gamewhich is carried onwith the people in the environment. Thedrinkingmay bring its own kinds of pleasure, but it is not the essence of thegame.Thisisdemonstratedinthevariantof‘DryAlcoholic’,whichinvolvesthe

samemoves and leads to the same payoff as the regular game, but is playedwithoutanybottles(page66).

Beyondtheirsocialfunctioninstructuringtimesatisfactorily,somegamesareurgentlynecessaryforthemaintenanceofhealthincertainindividuals.Thesepeople’spsychic stability is soprecarious, and theirpositionsare so tenuouslymaintained, that to deprive them of their games may plunge them intoirreversibledespairandevenpsychosis.Suchpeoplewillfightveryhardagainstany antithetical moves. This is often observed in marital situations when thepsychiatric improvement of one spouse (i.e., the abandonment of destructivegames)leadstorapiddeteriorationintheotherspouse,towhomthegameswereof paramount importance inmaintaining equilibrium.Hence it is necessary toexerciseprudenceingameanalysis.

Fortunately, the rewardsofgame-free intimacy,which isor shouldbe themostperfectformofhumanliving,aresogreatthatevenprecariouslybalancedpersonalities can safely and joyfully relinquish their games if an appropriatepartnercanbefoundforthebetterrelationship.

On a larger scale, games are integral and dynamic components of theunconsciouslife-plan,orscript,ofeachindividual;theyservetofillinthetimewhile he waits for the final fulfilment, simultaneously advancing the action.Since the last act of a script characteristically calls for either a miracle or acatastrophe,dependingonwhether the script isconstructiveordestructive, thecorresponding games are accordingly either constructive or destructive. Incolloquial terms, an individual whose script is oriented towards ‘waiting forSantaClaus’islikelytobepleasanttodealwithinsuchgamesas‘GeeYou’reWonderful,MrMurgatroyd’,whilesomeonewithatragicscriptorientedtowards‘waitingforrigormortis toset in’mayplaysuchdisagreeablegamesas ‘NowI’veGotYou,YouSonofaBitch’.

Itshouldbenotedthatcolloquialismssuchasthoseintheprevioussentenceare an integral part of game analysis, and are freely used in transactionalpsychotherapygroupsandseminars.Theexpression‘waitingforrigormortistoset in’ originated in a dream of a patient, inwhich she decided to get certainthings done ‘before rigor mortis set in’. A patient in a sophisticated grouppointedoutwhatthetherapisthadoverlooked:thatinpractice,waitingforSantaClaus and waiting for death are synonymous. Since colloquialisms are ofdecisiveimportanceingameanalysis,theywillbediscussedatlengthlateron.

5·THECLASSIFICATIONOFGAMES

Mostof thevariablesusedinanalysinggamesandpastimeshavealreadybeenmentioned, and any of them can be used in classifying games and pastimessystematically. Some of the more obvious classifications are based on thefollowing factors: 1. Number of players: two-handed games (FrigidWoman),three-handedgames(Let’sYouandHimFight),five-handedgames(Alcoholic)andmany-handedgames(WhyDon’tYou–YesBut).

2.Currency used:words (Psychiatry),money (Debtor), parts of the body(Polysurgery).

3. Clinical types: hysterical (Rapo), obsessive-compulsive (Schlemiel),paranoid (Why Does This Have to Happen to Me), depressive (There I GoAgain).

4. Zonal: oral (Alcoholic), anal (Schlemiel), phallic (Let’s You and HimFight).

5.Psychodynamic:counterphobic(IfItWeren’tforYou),projective(PTA),introjective(Psychiatry).

6. Instinctual: masochistic (If It Weren’t for You), sadistic (Schlemiel),fetishistic(FrigidMan).

Inadditionto thenumberofplayers, threeotherquantitativevariablesareoften useful to consider: 1. Flexibility. Some games, such as Debtor andPolysurgery, can be played properly with only one kind of currency, whileothers,suchasexhibitionisticgames,aremoreflexible.

2.Tenacity.Somepeoplegiveuptheirgameseasily,othersarepersistent.3.Intensity.Somepeopleplaytheirgamesinarelaxedway,othersaremore

tense and aggressive. Games so played are known as easy and hard games,respectively.

These three variables converge to make games gentle or violent. Inmentallydisturbedpeople,thereisoftenanoticeableprogressioninthisrespect,so thatonecan speakof stages.Aparanoid schizophrenicmay initiallyplayaflexible, loose, easy game of first-stage ‘Ain’t It Awful’ and progress to aninflexible,tenacious,hardthirdstage.Thestagesinagamearedistinguishedasfollows: (a) A First-Degree Game is one which is socially acceptable in theagent’scircle.

(b)ASecond-DegreeGameisonefromwhichnopermanentirremediabledamagearises,butwhichtheplayerswouldratherconcealfromthepublic.

(c)AThird-DegreeGameisonewhichisplayedforkeeps,andwhichendsinthesurgery,thecourtroomorthemorgue.

Gamescanalsobeclassifiedaccordingtoanyoftheotherspecificfactorsdiscussed in the analysis of IWFY: the aims, the roles, the most obviousadvantages.Themostlikelycandidateforasystematic,scientificclassificationis

probablyonebasedontheexistentialposition;butsinceknowledgeofthisfactorisnotyetsufficientlyadvanced,suchaclassificationwillhavetobepostponed.Failingthat,themostpracticalclassificationatpresentisprobablyasociologicalone.Thatiswhatwillbeusedinthenextsection.

NOTES

Due credit should be given to Stephen Potter for his perceptive, humorousdiscussionsofmanoeuvres,or‘ploys’,ineverydaysocialsituations,2andtoG.H.Meadforhispioneeringstudyof the roleofgames insocial living.3ThosegamesthatleadtopsychiatricdisabilitieshavebeensystematicallystudiedattheSanFranciscoSocialPsychiatrySeminars since1958, and this sector of gameanalysishasrecentlybeenapproachedbyT.Szasz.4Fortheroleofgamesinthegroup process, the present writer’s book on group dynamics should beconsulted.5

REFERENCES

1.Maurer,D.W.,TheBigCon,TheBobbs-MerrillCo.,NewYork,1940.2. Potter, S., Theory and Practice of Gamesmanship, Rupert Hart-Davis,

1947.3.Mead,G.H.,Mind,SelfandSociety,CambridgeUniversityPress,1935.4.Szasz,T.,TheMythofMentalIllness,Secker&Warburg,1961.5. Berne, E.,The Structure and Dynamics of Organizations and Groups,

PitmanMedical,1963.

PARTTWO

ATHESAURUSOFGAMES

Introduction

THIScollectioniscompletetodate(1962),butnewgamesarecontinuallybeingdiscovered. Sometimeswhat appears to be another example of a knowngameturnsout,onmorecarefulstudy, tobeanentirelynewone,andagamewhichappears to be new often turns out to be a variation of a known one. Theindividual items of the analyses are also subject to change as new knowledgeaccumulates;forexample,wherethereareseveralpossiblechoicesindescribingdynamics, the statement given may turn out later not to have been the mostcogentone.Boththelistofgamesandtheitemsgivenintheanalyses,however,areadequateforclinicalwork.

Someof the games are discussed and analysed inextenso. Others,whichrequire more investigation, or are uncommon, or whose significance is fairlyobvious,areonlybrieflymentioned.Theonewhois‘it’isgenerallyreferredtoas the ‘agent’,or isgiven thenameof ‘White’,while theotherparty is called‘Black’.

Thegamesareclassifiedintofamiliesaccordingtothesituationsinwhichtheymostcommonlyoccur:LifeGames,MaritalGames,PartyGames,SexualGames and Underworld Games; then comes a section for professionals onConsultingRoomGames,andfinally,someexamplesofGoodGames.

1·NOTATION

Thefollowingnotationwillbeusedintheanalyticprotocols.Title:ifthegamehasalongname,aconvenientabbreviationisusedinthe

text.Whereagameoritsvariationshasmorethanonename,acrossreferencewillbefoundintheIndexofGames.Inoralreportsitispreferabletousethefullnameofthegameratherthanitsabbreviationoracronym.

Thesis:thisisrestatedascogentlyaspossible.Aim: this gives the most meaningful choice, based on the writer’s

experience.Roles: the role of the onewho is ‘it’, and fromwhose point of view the

gameisdiscussed,isgivenfirst,initalics.Dynamics:aswithaim.Examples:(1)thisgivesanillustrationofthegameasplayedinchildhood,

themost easily recognizable pertinent prototype. (2) an illustration from adult

life.Paradigm: this illustrates as briefly as possible the critical transaction or

transactionsatthesocialandpsychologicallevels.Moves: this gives the minimum number of transactional stimuli and

transactionalresponsesasfoundinpractice.Thesemaybeexpanded,dilutedorornamentedtoanunlimitedextentindifferentsituations.

Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological – this attempts to state how thegamecontributes to internalpsychicstability. (2)ExternalPsychological– thisattempts to state what anxiety-arousing situations or intimacies are beingavoided. (3) Internal Social – this gives the characteristic phrase used in thegameasplayedwith intimates. (4)ExternalSocial– thisgives thekeyphraseused in the derivative game or pastime played in less intimate circles. (5)Biological – this attempts to characterize thekindof strokingwhich thegameofferstothepartiesinvolved.(6)Existential–thisstatesthepositionfromwhichthegameistypicallyplayed.

Relatives: this gives the names of complementary, allied and antitheticalgames.

An adequate understanding of a game can only be obtained in thepsychotherapeuticsituation.Peoplewhoplaydestructivegameswillcometothetherapistfarmorefrequentlythanpeoplewhoplayconstructiveones.Thereforemostof thegameswhicharewellunderstoodarebasicallydestructive,but thereader should remember that there are constructive ones played by morefortunatepeople.Andtopreventtheideaofgamesfrombecomingvulgarized,assomanypsychiatric terms are, it should be emphasized oncemore that it is avery precise idea: games should be clearly distinguished, by the criteria givenpreviously, fromprocedures, rituals, pastimes, operations,manoeuvres and theattitudeswhicharisefromvariouspositions.Agameisplayedfromaposition,butapositionoritscorrespondingattitudeisnotagame.

2·COLLOQUIALISMS

Manycolloquialismsusedhereweresuppliedbypatients.Allof them, ifusedwith due regard to timing and sensibilities, are appreciated, understood andenjoyedbytheplayers.Ifsomeofthemseemdisrespectful,theironyisdirectedagainst the games and not against the people who play them. The firstrequirementforcolloquialismsisaptness,andiftheyoftensoundamusing,thatis precisely because they hit the nail on the head. As I have tried to showelsewhere in discussing colloquial epithets, a whole page of learned

polysyllablesmaynotconveyasmuchasthestatementthatacertainwomanisabitch, or that a certainman is a jerk.1 Psychological truthsmay be stated foracademic purposes in scientific language, but the effective recognition ofemotional strivings in practicemay require a different approach.Sowepreferplaying ‘Ain’t ItAwful’ to ‘verbalizingprojectedanalaggression’.The formernotonlyhasamoredynamicmeaningandimpact,butitisactuallymoreprecise.And sometimes people get better faster in bright rooms than they do in drabones.

REFERENCE

1.Berne,E.,‘IntutionIV:PrimalImages&PrimalJudgments’,PsychiatricQuarterly,29:634-658,1955.

6·LifeGames

ALLgameshaveanimportantandprobablydecisiveinfluenceonthedestiniesoftheplayersunderordinarysocialconditions;butsomeoffermoreopportunitiesthanothersforlifelongcareersandaremorelikelytoinvolverelativelyinnocentbystanders. This group may be conveniently called Life Games. It includes‘Alcoholic’,‘Debtor’,‘KickMe’,‘NowI’veGotYou,YouSonofaBitch’,‘SeeWhatYouMadeMeDo’andtheirprincipalvariants.Theymergeontheonesidewithmaritalgames,andontheotherwiththoseoftheunderworld.

1·ALCOHOLIC

Thesis.Ingameanalysisthereisnosuchthingasalcoholismor‘analcoholic’,butthereisarolecalledtheAlcoholicinacertaintypeofgame.Ifabiochemicalorphysiologicalabnormalityistheprimemoverinexcessivedrinking–andthatis still open to some question – then its study belongs in the field of internalmedicine.Gameanalysisisinterestedinsomethingquitedifferent–thekindsofsocialtransactionsthatarerelatedtosuchexcesses.Hencethegame‘Alcoholic’.

In its full flower this is a five-handed game, although the roles may becondensedso that itstartsoffand terminatesasa two-handedone.ThecentralroleisthatoftheAlcoholic–theonewhois‘it’–playedbyWhite.Thechiefsupporting role is that of Persecutor, typically played by a member of theoppositesex,usuallythespouse.ThethirdroleisthatofRescuer,usuallyplayedbysomeoneofthesamesex,oftenthegoodfamilydoctorwhois interestedinthe patient and also in drinking problems. In the classical situation the doctorsuccessfully rescues the alcoholic fromhis habit.AfterWhite has not taken adrink for sixmonths theycongratulateeachother.The followingdayWhite isfoundinthegutter.

ThefourthroleisthatofthePatsy,orDummy.InliteraturethisisplayedbythedelicatessenmanwhoextendscredittoWhite,giveshimasandwichonthecuff and perhaps a cup of coffee, without either persecuting him or trying torescuehim.InlifethisismorefrequentlyplayedbyWhite’smother,whogiveshim money and often sympathizes with him about the wife who does notunderstandhim.Inthisaspectofthegame,Whiteisrequiredtoaccountinsomeplausiblewayforhisneedformoney–bysomeprojectinwhichbothpretendtobelieve,althoughtheyknowwhatheisreallygoingtospendmostofthemoney

for.SometimesthePatsyslidesoverintoanotherrole,whichisahelpfulbutnotessential one: the Agitator, the ‘good guy’ who offers supplies without evenbeingasked for them: ‘Comehaveadrinkwithme (andyouwillgodownhillfaster).’

Theancillaryprofessional inalldrinkinggames is thebartenderor liquorclerk.Inthegame‘Alcoholic’heplaysthefifthrole,theConnexion,thedirectsourceofsupplywhoalsounderstandsalcoholic talk,andwho inaway is themostmeaningful person in the life of any addict. The difference between theConnexion and the other players is the difference between professionals andamateursinanygame:theprofessionalknowswhentostop.Atacertainpointagood bartender refuses to serve the Alcoholic, who is then left without anysuppliesunlesshecanlocateamoreindulgentConnexion.

In the initial stagesof ‘Alcoholic’, thewifemayplayall threesupportingroles:atmidnightthePatsy,undressinghim,makinghimcoffeeandlettinghimbeatuponher; in themorning thePersecutor,beratinghim for theevilofhisways;andintheeveningtheRescuer,pleadingwithhimtochangethem.Inthelater stages, due sometimes to organic deterioration, the Persecutor and theRescuercanbedispensedwith,butaretoleratediftheyarealsowillingtoactassourcesofsupply.WhitewillgototheMissionHouseandberescuedifhecangetafreemealthere;orhewillstandforascolding,amateurorprofessional,aslongashecangetahandoutafterwards.

Present experience indicates that the payoff in in ‘Alcoholic’ (as ischaracteristic of games in general) comes from the aspect to which mostinvestigatorspay least attention. In theanalysisof thisgame,drinking itself ismerelyanincidentalpleasurehavingaddedadvantages,theprocedureleadingupto the real culmination, which is the hangover. It is the same in the game ofSchlemiel: the mess-making, which attracts the most attention, is merely apleasure-giving way for White to lead up to the crux, which is obtainingforgivenessfromBlack.

For the Alcoholic the hangover is not as much the physical pain as thepsychological torment. The two favourite pastimes of drinking people are‘Martini’(howmanydrinksandhowtheyweremixed)and‘MorningAfter’(Letmetellyouaboutmyhangover).‘Martini’isplayed,forthemostpart,bysocialdrinkers;manyalcoholicspreferahardroundofpsychological‘MorningAfter’,and organizations such as Alcoholics Anonymous offer him an unlimitedopportunityforthis.

Whenever onepatient visited his psychiatrist after a binge, hewould callhimselfallsortsofnames;thepsychiatristsaidnothing.Later,recountingthesevisits in a therapy group, White said with smug satisfaction that it was the

psychiatrist who had called him all those names. The main conversationalinterest of many alcoholics in the therapeutic situation is not their drinking,whichtheyapparentlymentionmostlyindeferencetotheirpersecutors,buttheirsubsequent suffering. The transactional object of the drinking, aside from thepersonal pleasures it brings, is to set up a situation where the Child can beseverelyscoldednotonlybytheinternalParentbutbyanyparentalfiguresintheenvironment who are interested enough to oblige. Hence the therapy of thisgameshouldbeconcentratednoton thedrinkingbuton themorningafter, theself-indulgence in self-castigation. There is a type of heavy drinker, however,who does not have hangovers, and such people do not belong in the presentcategory.

There is also a game ‘Dry Alcoholic’, in whichWhite goes through theprocess of financial or social degradation without a bottle, making the samesequence of moves and requiring the same supporting cast. Here again, themorningafteristhecruxofthematter.Indeed,itisthesimilaritybetween‘DryAlcoholic’ and regular ‘Alcoholic’which emphasizes that both are games; forexample, the procedure for getting discharged from a job is the same in both.‘Addict’ is similar to ‘Alcoholic’, but more sinister, more dramatic, moresensationalandfaster.Inoursociety,atleast,itleansmoreheavilyonthereadilyavailablePersecutor,withPatsiesandRescuersbeingfewandfarbetweenandtheConnexionplayingamuchmorecentralrole.

Thereareavarietyoforganizationsinvolvedin‘Alcoholic’,someofthemnationaloreveninternationalinscope,otherslocal.Manyofthempublishrulesforthegame.NearlyallofthemexplainhowtoplaytheroleofAlcoholic:takeadrinkbeforebreakfast,spendmoneyallottedforotherpurposes,etc.Theyalsoexplain the function of the Rescuer. Alcoholics Anonymous, for example,continuesplayingtheactualgamebutconcentratesoninducingtheAlcoholictotake the role of Rescuer. Former Alcoholics are preferred because they knowhow the gamegoes, andhence are better qualified to play the supporting rolethan people who have never played before. Cases have been reported of achapterofA.A.runningoutofAlcoholicstoworkon;whereuponthemembersresumed drinking, since there was no other way to continue the game in theabsenceofpeopletorescue.1

There are also organizations devoted to improving the lot of the otherplayers.SomeputpressureonthespousestoshifttheirrolesfromPersecutortoRescuer. The one which seems to come closest to the theoretical ideal oftreatment deals with teen-age offspring of alcoholics; these young people areencouraged to break away from the game itself, rather thanmerely shift theirroles.

The psychological cure of an alcoholic also lies in getting him to stopplayingthegamealtogether,ratherthansimplychangefromoneroletoanother.In some cases this has been feasible, although it is a difficult task to findsomethingelseasinterestingtotheAlcoholicascontinuinghisgame.Sinceheisclassicallyafraidofintimacy,thesubstitutemayhavetobeanothergameratherthan a game-free relationship. Often so-called cured alcoholics are not verystimulatingcompanysocially,andpossiblytheyfeelalackofexcitementintheirlivesandarecontinuallytemptedtogobacktotheiroldways.Thecriterionofatrue ‘game cure’ is that the formerAlcoholic should be able to drink sociallywithout putting himself in jeopardy. The usual ‘total abstinence’ curewill notsatisfythegameanalyst.

It is apparent from the description of this game that there is a strongtemptation for the Rescuer to play ‘I’m Only Trying to Help You’; for thePersecutortoplay‘LookWhatYou’veDonetoMe’;andforthePatsy*toplay‘GoodJoe’.With theriseofrescueorganizationswhichpublicize the idea thatalcoholismisadisease,alcoholicshavebeentaughttoplay‘WoodenLeg’.Thelaw, which takes a special interest in such people, tends to encourage thisnowadays.TheemphasishasshiftedfromthePersecutortotheRescuer,from‘Iam a sinner’ to ‘What do you expect from a sickman?’ (part of the trend inmodern thinkingaway fromreligionand towards science).Fromanexistentialpoint of view the shift is questionable, and from a practical point of view itseems to have done little to diminish the sale of liquor to heavy drinkers.Nevertheless,AlcoholicsAnonymousisstill formostpeople thebest initiationintothetherapyofover-indulgence.

Antithesis. As is well known, ‘Alcoholic’ is usually played hard and isdifficult to give up. In one case a female alcoholic in a therapy groupparticipated very little until she thought she knew enough about the othermemberstogoaheadwithhergame.Shethenaskedthemtotellherwhattheythoughtofher.Sinceshehadbehavedpleasantlyenough,variousmemberssaidnicethingsabouther,butsheprotested:‘That’snotwhatIwant.Iwanttoknowwhat you really think.’ She made it clear that she was seeking derogatorycomments. The other women refused to persecute her, whereupon she wenthomeandtoldherhusbandthatifshetookanotherdrink,hemusteitherdivorceher or send her to a hospital. He promised to do this, and that evening shebecame intoxicated and he sent her to a sanitarium. Here the other membersrefusedtoplaythepersecutoryrolesWhiteassignedtothem;shewasunabletotolerate this antithetical behaviour, in spite of everyone’s efforts to reinforcewhatever insight she had already obtained. At home she found someonewhowaswillingtoplaytheroleshedemanded.

In other cases, however, it appears possible to prepare the patientsufficientlysothatthegamecanbegivenup,andtoattemptatruesocialcureinwhich the therapist declines to play either Persecutor orRescuer. It is equallyuntherapeuticforhimtoplaytheroleofPatsybyallowingthepatienttoforgohisfinancialandpunctualityobligations.Thecorrecttherapeuticprocedurefromatransactionalpointofviewis,aftercarefulpreliminarygroundwork,totakeanAdult contractual position and refuse to play any of the roles, hoping that thepatientwillbeabletotoleratenotonlyabstinencefromdrinkingbutalsofromplayinghisgame.Ifhecannot,heisbestreferredtoaRescuer.

Antithesis is particularly difficult, because the heavy drinker is highlyregardedinmostWesterncountriesasadesirableobjectforcensure,concernorgenerosity,andsomeonewhorefusestoplayanyoftheserolestendstoarousepublic indignation. A rational approach may be even more alarming to theRescuersthantotheAlcoholic,sometimeswithunfortunateconsequencestothetherapy.Inoneclinicalsituationagroupofworkerswereseriouslyinterestedinthegame‘Alcoholic’andwereattemptingtoeffectrealcuresbybreakingupthegameratherthanmerelyrescuingthepatients.Assoonasthisbecameapparent,theywere frozen out by the lay committeewhichwas backing the clinic, andnoneofthemwaseveragaincalledontoassistintreatingthesepatients.

Relatives.An interestingbyplay in ‘Alcoholic’ iscalled ‘HaveOne’.Thiswasdiscoveredby aperceptive student of industrial psychiatry.White andhiswife (anon-drinkingPersecutor)goonapicnicwithBlackandhiswife (bothPatsies).WhitesaystotheBlacks,‘Haveone!’Iftheyhaveone,thisgivesWhitelicencetohavefourorfive.ThegameisunmaskediftheBlacksrefuse.White,by the rules of drinking, is then entitled to be insulted, and hewill findmorecompliantcompanionsforhisnextpicnic.WhatappearsatthesocialleveltobeAdult generosity, is at the psychological level an act of insolence, wherebyWhite’sChildobtainsParentalindulgencefromBlackbyopenbriberyundertheverynoseofMrsWhite,whoispowerlesstoprotest.Actuallyitisjustbecauseshe will be ‘powerless’ to protest that Mrs White consents to the wholearrangement,sincesheisjustasanxiousforthegametocontinue,withherselfintheroleofPersecutor,asMrWhiteiswithhimselfintheroleofAlcoholic.Herrecriminationsagainsthimin themorningafter thepicnicareeasy to imagine.ThisvariantcancausecomplicationsifWhiteisBlack’sboss.

In general the Patsy is not as badly off as the name implies. Patsies areoftenlonelypeoplewhohaveagreatdeal togainbybeingnice toAlcoholics.Thedelicatessenmanwhoplays‘GoodJoe’makesmanyacquaintances in thisway, and he can get a good reputation in his own social circle not only as agenerouspersonbutalsoasagoodstoryteller.

Onevariantof ‘GoodJoe’, incidentally, is togoaroundaskingforadviceabout howbest to help people.This is an example of a jolly and constructivegameworthencouraging.ItsinverseisToughGuy,takinglessonsinviolenceoraskingforadviceabouthowbesttohurtpeople.Althoughthemayhemisneverputintopractice,theplayerhastheprivilegeofassociatingwithrealtoughguyswho are playing for keeps, and can bask in their reflected glory. This is onespeciesofwhattheFrenchcallunfanfarondevice.

ANALYSIS

Thesis:HowbadI’vebeen;seeifyoucanstopme.Aim:Self-castigation.Roles:Alcoholic,Persecutor,Rescuer,Patsy,Connexion.Dynamics:Oraldeprivation.Examples: (1) See if you can catchme. The prototypes of this game are

difficult to correlatebecauseof its complexity.Children, however, particularlychildrenofalcoholics,oftengothroughmanyof themanoeuvrescharacteristicoftheAlcoholic.‘Seeifyoucanstopme’,whichinvolveslying,hidingthings,seekingderogatorycomments, lookingforhelpfulpeople,findingabenevolentneighbourwhowillgivefreehandouts,etc.Self-castigation isoftenpostponedtolateryears.(2)Thealcoholicandhiscircle.

SocialParadigm:Adult-Adult.Adult:‘Tellmewhatyoureallythinkofmeorhelpmestopdrinking.’Adult:‘I’llbefrankwithyou.’

PsychologicalParadigm:Parent-Child.Child:‘Seeifyoucanstopme.’Parent:‘Youmuststopdrinkingbecause…’

Moves:(1)Provocation–accusationorforgiveness.(2)Indulgence–angerordisappointment.

Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological – (a) Drinking as a procedure –rebellion, reassurance and satisfaction of craving, (b) ‘Alcoholic’ as a game –self-castigation(probable).(2)ExternalPsychological–avoidanceofsexualandother forms of intimacy. (3) Internal Social – See if you can stop me. (4)ExternalSocial–‘MorningAfter’,‘Martini’,andotherpastimes.(5)Biological–alternatinglovingandangryexchanges.(6)Existential–Everybodywantstodepriveme.

2·DEBTOR

Thesis.‘Debtor’ismorethanagame.InAmericaittendstobecomeascript,aplan for awhole lifetime, just as it does in someof the jungles ofAfrica andNew Guinea.2 There the relatives of a young man buy him a bride at anenormous price, putting him in their debt for years to come. Here the samecustomprevails,atleastinthemorecivilizedsectionsofthecountry,exceptthat

thebridepricebecomesahouseprice,andifthereisnostakefromtherelatives,thisroleistakenonbythebank.

ThustheyoungmaninNewGuineawithanoldwristwatchdanglingfromhiseartoensuresuccess,andtheyoungmaninAmericawithanewwristwatchwrappedaroundhisarmtoensuresuccess,bothfeelthattheyhavea‘purpose’inlife.Thebig celebration, theweddingor housewarming, takes place notwhenthedebtisdischarged,butwhenitisundertaken.WhatisemphasizedonTV,forexample,isnotthemiddle-agedmanwhohasfinallypaidoffhismortgage,buttheyoungmanwhomovesintohisnewhomewithhisfamily,proudlywavingthepapershehasjustsignedandwhichwillbindhimformostofhisproductiveyears.Afterhehaspaidhisdebts– themortgage, thecollegeexpenses forhischildrenandhis insurance–he is regardedasaproblem,a ‘seniorcitizen’ forwhomsocietymustprovidenotonlymaterialcomfortsbutanew‘purpose’.AsinNewGuinea,ifheisveryshrewd,hemaybecomeabigcreditorinsteadofabigdebtor,butthishappensrelativelyrarely.

Asthisiswritten,asowbugcrawlsacrossadesk.Ifheis turnedoveronhisback,onecanobservethetremendousstrugglehegoesthroughtogetonhisfeetagain.Duringthisintervalhehasa‘purpose’inhislife.Whenhesucceeds,one can almost see the look of victory on his face.Off he goes, and one canimaginehimtellinghistaleatthenextmeetingofsowbugs,lookeduptobytheyounger generation as an insect who has made it. And yet mixed with hissmugnessisalittledisappointment.Nowthathehascomeoutontop,lifeseemsaimless.Maybehewillreturninthehopeofrepeatinghistriumph.Itmightbeworth marking his back with ink, so as to recognize him if he risks it. Acourageous animal, the sow bug. No wonder he has survived for millions ofyears.

MostyoungAmericans,however,taketheirmortgagesveryseriouslyonlyin timesofstress. If theyaredepressed,or theeconomicsituation isbad, theirobligations keep themgoing andmay prevent someof them from committingsuicide.Mostofthetimetheyplayamildgameof‘IfItWeren’tfortheDebts’,butotherwiseenjoythemselves.Onlyafewmakeacareeroutofplayingahardgameof‘Debtor’.

‘Try and Collect’ (TAC) is commonly played by youngmarried couples,andillustrateshowagameissetupsothattheplayer‘wins’whicheverwayitgoes. The Whites obtain all sorts of goods and services on credit, petty orluxurious,dependingontheirbackgroundsandhowtheyweretaughttoplaybytheirparentsorgrandparents.If thecreditorgivesupafterafewsoftefforts tocollect,thentheWhitescanenjoytheirgainswithoutpenalty,andinthissensethey win. If the creditor makes more strenuous attempts, then they enjoy the

pleasuresofthechaseaswellastheuseoftheirpurchases.Thehardformofthegameoccursifthecreditorisdeterminedtocollect.Inordertogethismoneyhewillhavetoresorttoextrememeasures.Theseusuallyhaveacoerciveelement–going toWhite’s employersordrivingup tohishouse inanoisy,garish trucklabelledinbiglettersCOLLECTIONAGENCY.

Atthispointthereisaswitch.Whitenowknowsthathewillprobablyhaveto pay.But because of the coercive element,made clear inmost cases by the‘third letter’ from the collector (‘If you do not appear at our officewithin 48hours…’),Whitefeelsperemptorilyjustifiedingettingangry;henowswitchesovertoavariantof’NowI’veGotYou,YouSonofaBitch’.Inthiscasehewinsbydemonstratingthatthecreditorisgreedy,ruthlessanduntrustworthy.Thetwomost obvious advantages of this are (1) it strengthens White’s existentialposition, which is a disguised form of ‘All creditors are grasping’, and (2) itoffers a large external social gain, since he is now in a position to abuse thecreditoropenlytohisfriendswithoutlosinghisownstatusasa‘GoodJoe’.Hemayalsoexploitfurtherinternalsocialgainbyconfrontingthecreditorhimself.Inaddition,itvindicateshistakingadvantageofthecreditsystem:ifthatisthewaycreditorsare,ashehasnowshown,whypayanybody?

‘Creditor’, in the form ‘Try and Get Away With It’ (TAG-AWI), issometimes played by small landlords. TAC and TAG-AWI players readilyrecognize each other, and because of the prospective transactional advantagesand thepromisedsport, theyare secretlypleasedand readilybecome involvedwith each other. Regardless of who wins the money, each has improved theother’spositionforplaying‘WhyDoesThisAlwaysHappenToMe?’afteritisallover.

Money games can have very serious consequences. If these descriptionssoundfacetious,astheydotosomepeople,itisnotbecausetheyrelatetotriviabut because of the exposure of trivial motivations behind matters people aretaughttotakeseriously.

Antithesis.TheobviousantithesisofTACistorequestimmediatepaymentincash.ButagoodTACplayerhasmethodsforgettingaroundthat,whichwillworkon anybut themosthard-boiled creditors.The antithesisofTAGAWI ispromptness and honesty. Since hard TAC and TAGAWI players are bothprofessionals in every sense of the word, an amateur stands as much chanceplayingagainstthemashedoesplayingagainstprofessionalgamblers.Whiletheamateur seldomwins,he canat least enjoyhimself if hebecomes involved inoneof thesegames.Sincebotharebytraditionplayedgrimly,nothingismoredisconcerting to the professionals than to have an amateur victim laugh at theoutcome.InfinancialcirclesthisisconsideredstrictlyOut.Inthecasesreported

tothiswriter,laughingatadebtorwhenoneencountershimonthestreetisjustasbewildering,frustratinganddisconcertingtohimasplayinganti-‘Schlemiel’istoaSchlemiel.

3·KICKME

Thesis.This isplayedbymenwhose socialmanner is equivalent towearingasignthatreads‘PleaseDon’tKickMe’.Thetemptationisalmostirresistible,andwhenthenaturalresultfollows,Whitecriespiteously,‘Butthesignsays“don’tkickme”.’Thenheadds incredulously, ‘Whydoes thisalwayshappentome?’(WAHM). Clinically, the WAHM may be introjected and disguised in the‘Psychiatry’cliché:‘WheneverI’munderstress,Igetallshookup.’Onegameelement inWAHMcomes from inversepride: ‘Mymisfortunesarebetter thanyours.’Thisfactorisoftenfoundinparanoids.

If the people in his environment are restrained from striking at him bykindheartedness, ‘I’m Only Trying to Help You’, social convention ororganizationalrules,hisbehaviourbecomesmoreandmoreprovocativeuntilhetransgresses the limits and forces them to oblige.These aremenwho are castout,thejiltedandthejoblosers.

The corresponding game among women is ‘Threadbare’. Often genteel,they take pains to be shabby. They see to it that their earnings, for ‘good’reasons, never risemuch above the subsistence level. If they have awindfall,therearealwaysenterprisingyoungmenwhowillhelpthemgetridofit,givingtheminreturnsharesinaworthlessbusinesspromotionorsomethingequivalent.Colloquially, such awoman is called ‘Mother’s Friend’, always ready to givejudicious Parental advice and living vicariously on the experience of others.Their WAHM is a silent one, and only their demeanour of brave strugglesuggests‘Whydoesthisalwayshappentome?’

An interesting form of WAHM occurs in well-adapted people who reapincreasingrewardsandsuccesses,oftenbeyondtheirownexpectations.HeretheWAHMmayleadtoseriousandconstructivethinking,andtopersonalgrowthinthebestsense,ifittakestheform‘WhatdidIreallydotodeservethis?’

4·NOWI’VEGOTYOU,YOUSONOFABITCH

Thesis. This can be seen in classic form in poker games. White gets anunbeatablehand,suchasfouraces.Atthispoint,ifheisaNIGYSOBplayer,he

ismoreinterestedinthefactthatBlackiscompletelyathismercythanheisingoodpokerormakingmoney.

Whiteneededsomeplumbingfixturesinstalled,andhereviewedthecostsverycarefullywiththeplumberbeforegivinghimago-ahead.Thepricewasset,anditwasagreedthattherewouldbenoextras.Whentheplumbersubmittedhisbill, he included a few dollars extra for an unexpected valve that had to beinstalled – about four dollars on a four-hundred-dollar job. White becameinfuriated,calledtheplumberonthephoneanddemandedanexplanation.Theplumber would not back down.White wrote him a long letter criticizing hisintegrity and ethics and refused to pay the bill until the extra charge waswithdrawn.Theplumberfinallygavein.

It soon became obvious that both White and the plumber were playinggames. In the course of their negotiations, they had recognized each other’spotentials.Theplumbermadehisprovocativemovewhenhesubmittedhisbill.SinceWhite had the plumber’s word, the plumber was clearly in the wrong.Whitenowfeltjustifiedinventingalmostunlimitedrageagainsthim.InsteadofmerelynegotiatinginadignifiedwaythatbefittedtheAdultstandardshesetforhimself,perhapswithalittleinnocentannoyance,Whitetooktheopportunitytomakeextensivecriticismsoftheplumber’swholewayofliving.Onthesurfacetheir argumentwasAdult toAdult, a legitimate business dispute over a statedsum ofmoney. At the psychological level it was Parent to Adult:White wasexploitinghistrivialbutsociallydefensibleobjection(position)toventthepent-upfuriesofmanyyearsonhiscozeningopponent,justashismothermighthavedone in a similar situation. He quickly recognized his underlying attitude(NIGYSOB)and realizedhowsecretlydelightedhehadbeenat theplumber’sprovocation.Hethenrecalledthateversinceearlychildhoodhehadlookedforsimilarinjustices,receivedthemwithdelightandexploitedthemwiththesamevigour. In many of the cases he recounted, he had forgotten the actualprovocation,butrememberedingreatdetailthecourseoftheensuingbattle.Theplumber, apparently, was playing some variation of ‘Why Does This AlwaysHappentoMe?’(WAHM).

NIGYSOBisatwo-handedgamewhichmustbedistinguishedfrom‘Ain’tItAwful’ (AIA). InAIA the agent seeks injustices in order to complain aboutthem to a third party, making a three-handed game: Aggressor, Victim,Confidant. AIA is played under the slogan ‘Misery Loves Company’. TheconfidantisusuallysomeonewhoalsoplaysAIA.WAHMisthree-handed,too,but here the agent is trying to establish his pre-eminence in misfortune andresentscompetitionfromotherunfortunates.NIGYSOBiscommercializedinathree-handedprofessionalformasthe‘badgergame’.Itmayalsobeplayedasa

two-handedmaritalgameinmoreorlesssubtleforms.Antithesis. The best antithesis is correct behaviour. The contractual

structureofarelationshipwithaNIGYSOBplayershouldbeexplicitlystatedindetail at the first opportunity, and the rules strictly adhered to. In clinicalpractice, for example, the question of payment for missed appointments orcancellationsmustbesettledclearlyatonce,andextraprecautionsmustbetakento avoid mistakes in bookkeeping. If an unforeseen contretemps arises, theantithesisistoyieldgracefullywithoutdispute,untilsuchtimeasthetherapistisprepared to deal with the game. In everyday life, business dealings withNIGYSOBplayersarealwayscalculatedrisks.Thewifeofsuchapersonshouldbetreatedwithpolitecorrectness,andeventhemildestflirtations,gallantriesorslightsshouldbeavoided,especiallyifthehusbandhimselfseemstoencouragethem.

ANALYSIS

Thesis:NowI’vegotyou,yousonofabitch.Aim:Justification.Roles:Victim,Aggressor.Dynamics:Jealousrage.Examples:(1)Icaughtyouthistime.(2)Jealoushusband.SocialParadigm:Adult-Adult.Adult:‘See,youhavedonewrong.’Adult:‘Nowthatyoudrawittomyattention,IguessIhave.’

PsychologicalParadigm:Parent-Child.Parent:‘I’vebeenwatchingyou,hopingyou’dmakeaslip.’Child:‘Youcaughtmethistime.’Parent:‘Yes,andI’mgoingtoletyoufeelthefullforceofmyfury.’

Moves: (1) Provocation – Accusation. (2) Defence – Accusation. (3)Defence–Punishment.

Advantages:(1)InternalPsychological–justificationforrage.(2)ExternalPsychological–avoidsconfrontationofowndeficiencies. (3) InternalSocial–NIGYSOB.(4)ExternalSocial–they’realwaysouttogetyou.(5)Biological–belligerent exchanges, usually ipsisexual. (6) Existential – people can’t betrusted.

5·SEEWHATYOUMADEMEDO

Thesis. In its classical form this is amarital game, and in fact is a ‘three-starmarriagebuster’,butitmayalsobeplayedbetweenparentsandchildrenandinworkinglife.

(1)First-DegreeSWYMD:White, feeling unsociable, becomes engrossedinsomeactivitywhichtendstoinsulatehimagainstpeople.Perhapsallhewantsat themoment is to be left alone.An intruder, such as hiswife or one of hischildren,comeseither forstrokingor toaskhimsomething like, ‘WherecanIfind the long-nosed pliers?’ This interruption ‘causes’ his chisel, paintbrush,typewriterorsolderingirontoslip,whereuponheturnsontheintruderinarageandcries,‘Seewhatyoumademedo.’Asthisisrepeatedthroughtheyears,hisfamilytendsmoreandmoretoleavehimalonewhenheisengrossed.Ofcourseitisnottheintruderbuthisownirritationwhich‘causes’theslip,andheisonly

too happy when it occurs, since it gives him a lever for ejecting the visitor.Unfortunatelythisisagamewhichisonlytooeasilylearnedbyyoungchildren,so that it is easily passed on from generation to generation. The underlyingsatisfactions and advantages are more clearly demonstrated when it is playedmoreseductively.

(2) Second-Degree SWYMD: If SWYMD is the basis for a way of life,rather thanmerely being used occasionally as a protectivemechanism,Whitemarries a woman who plays ‘I’m Only Trying to Help You’ or one of itsrelatives.Itistheneasyforhimtodeferdecisionstoher.Oftenthismaybedonein the guise of considerateness or gallantry. He may deferentially andcourteouslyletherdecidewheretogofordinnerorwhichmovietosee.Ifthingsturnoutwell,hecanenjoythem.Ifnot,hecanblameherbysayingorimplying:‘YouGotMeIntoThis’,asimplevariationofSWYMD.Orhemaythrowtheburdenofdecisionsregardingthechildren’supbringingonher,whileheactsasexecutive officer; if the children get upset, he can play a straight game ofSWYMD.Thislaysthegroundworkthroughtheyearsforblamingmotherifthechildrenturnoutbadly;thenSWYMDisnotanendinitself,butmerelyofferspassingsatisfactionon theway to ‘IToldYouSo’or ‘SeeWhatYou’veDoneNow’.

The professional player who pays his psychological way with SWYMDwilluseitalsoinhiswork.InoccupationalSWYMDthelong-sufferinglookofresentment replaces words. The player ‘democratically’ or as part of ‘goodmanagement’ asks his assistants for suggestions. In thisway hemay attain anunassailable position for terrorizinghis juniors.Anymistake hemakes canbeusedagainst thembyblaming themfor it.Usedagainst seniors (blaming themforone’smistakes), itbecomesself-destructiveandmay lead to terminationofemployment or, in the army, to transfer to another unit. In that case it is acomponentof‘WhyDoesThisAlwaysHappenToMe?’withresentfulpeople,orof‘ThereIGoAgain’withdepressives–(bothofthe’KickMe’family).

(3) Third-Degree SWYMD: in a hard form SWYMDmay be played byparanoidsagainstpeopleincautiousenoughtogivethemadvice(see‘I’mOnlyTryingtoHelpYou’).Thereitmaybedangerous,andinrarecasesevenfatal.

‘SeeWhat YouMadeMe Do.’ (SWYMD) and ‘You Got Me into This’(UGMIT) complement each other nicely, so that the SWYMD-UGMITcombinationisaclassicalbasisforthecovergamecontractinmanymarriages.Thiscontractisillustratedbythefollowingsequence.

BymutualagreementMrsWhitedidthefamilybookkeepingandpaidthebillsoutofthejointcheckingaccountbecauseMrWhitewas‘pooratfigures’.Everyfewmonthstheywouldbenotifiedofanoverdraft,andMrWhitewould

have to square it with the bank. When they looked for the source of thedifficulty, it would turn out thatMrsWhite hadmade an expensive purchasewithouttellingherhusband.Whenthiscametolight,MrWhitewouldfuriouslyplayhisUGMIT,andshewouldtearfullyaccepthisrebukeandpromiseitwouldnot happen again. Everything would go smoothly for a while, and then acreditor’sagentwouldsuddenlyappear todemandpaymentfora long-overduebill.MrWhite,nothavingheardof thisbill,wouldquestionhiswifeabout it.Shewould then play her SWYMD, saying that it was his fault. Since he hadforbiddenhertooverdrawtheiraccount,theonlywayshecouldmakeendsmeetwasbyleavingthislargeobligationunpaidandhidingthedunsfromhim.

Thesegameshadbeenallowedtogoonfortenyears,onthebasisthateachoccurrencewouldbethelast,andthatfromthenonitwouldbedifferent–whichitwas,forafewmonths.IntherapyMrWhiteverycleverlyanalysedthisgamewithoutanyassistancefromthetherapist,andalsodevisedaneffectiveremedy.BymutualagreementheandMrsWhiteputallchargeaccountsandtheirbankaccountinhisname.MrsWhitecontinuedtodothebookkeepingandmakeoutthe checks, but Mr White saw the bills first and controlled the outgoingpayments. In thisway neither duns nor overdrafts could get by him, and theynowsharedthebudgetarylabour.DeprivedofthesatisfactionsandadvantagesofSWYMD-UGMIT,theWhiteswereatfirstataloss,andwerethendriventofindmoreopenandconstructivetypesofgratificationfromeachother.

Antithesis. The antithesis to First-Degree SWYMD is to leave the playeralone,andtoSecond-DegreeSWYMDtothrowthedecisionbackonWhite.TheFirst-Degreeplayermayreactbyfeelingforlorn,butseldomangry;theSecond-Degree playermay become sulky if he is forced to take the initiative, so thatsystematicanti-SWYMDleads todisagreeableconsequences.Theantithesis toThird-DegreeSWYMDshouldbeputintocompetentprofessionalhands.

PARTIALANALYSIS

Theaimofthisgameisvindication.Dynamicallythemildformmayberelatedtoprematureejaculation,thehardformtoragebasedon‘castration’anxiety.Itiseasily acquired by children. The external psychological gain (avoidance ofresponsibility) isprominent,andthegameisoftenprecipitatedbythethreatofimpending intimacy, since the ‘justifiable’ anger offers a good excuse foravoidingsexualrelations.Theexistentialpositionis,‘Iamblameless’.

NOTE

ThanksareduetoDrRodneyNurseandMrsFrancesMatsonoftheCenterforTreatment and Education on Alcoholism in Oakland, California, and to DrKennethEverts,DrR.J.Starrels,DrRobertGouldingandotherswithaspecialinterestinthisproblem,fortheircontinuedeffortsinthestudyof‘Alcoholic’asagame,andfortheircontributiontoandcriticismofthepresentdiscussion.

REFERENCES

1. Berne, E.,A Layman’s Guide to Psychiatry & Psychoanalysis, Simon&Schuster,NewYork,1957,p.191.

2.Mead,M.,GrowingUpinNewGuinea,Morrow,NewYork,1951.

7·MaritalGames

ALMOST anygamecan form the scaffolding formarried lifeand family living,butsome,suchas‘IfItWeren’tforYou’,flourishbetteror,like‘FrigidWoman’,aretoleratedlonger,underthelegalforceofcontractualintimacy.Maritalgames,ofcourse,canonlybearbitrarilyseparatedfromsexualgames,whicharetreatedin a separate section. Those games which characteristically evolve into theirmostfull-blownformsinthemaritalrelationshipinclude‘Corner’,‘Courtroom’,‘FrigidWoman’and‘FrigidMan’,‘Harried’,‘IfItWeren’tforYou’,‘LookHowHardI’veTried’and‘Sweetheart’.

1·CORNER

Thesis. Corner illustrates more clearly than most games their manipulativeaspectand their functionasbarriers to intimacy.Paradoxically, it consistsofadisingenuousrefusaltoplaythegameofanother.

1.MrsWhite suggests toherhusband that theygo toamovie.MrWhiteagrees.

2a.MrsWhitemakesan‘unconscious’slip.Shementionsquitenaturallyinthe courseof conversation that thehouseneedspainting.This is an expensiveproject, and White has recently told her that their finances are strained; herequested her not to embarrass or annoy him by suggesting unusualexpenditures,atleastuntilthebeginningofthenewmonth.Thisisthereforeanill-chosenmoment tobringup theconditionof thehouse,andWhite respondsrudely.

2b. Alternatively: White steers the conversation around to the house,making it difficult forMrsWhite to resist the temptation to say that it needspainting.Asinthepreviouscase,Whiterespondsrudely.

3.MrsWhitetakesoffenceandsaysthatifheisinoneofhisbadmoods,shewillnotgotothemoviewithhim,andhehadbestgobyhimself.Hesaysifthatisthewayshefeelsaboutit,hewillgoalone.

4.White goes to themovie (or outwith the boys), leavingMrsWhite athometonurseherinjuredfeelings.

Thereare twopossiblegimmicks in thisgame:A.MrsWhiteknowsverywell from past experience that she is not supposed to take his annoyanceseriously.Whathereallywantsisforhertoshowsomeappreciationofhowhard

heworks toearn their living; then theycouldgooffhappily together.But sherefusestoplay,andhefeelsbadlyletdown.Heleavesfilledwithdisappointmentand resentment, while she stays at home looking abused, but with a secretfeelingoftriumph.

B.Whiteknowsverywellfrompastexperiencethatheisnotsupposedtotakeherpiqueseriously.Whatshereallywantsistobehoneyedoutofit; thenthey would go off happily together. But he refuses to play, knowing that hisrefusalisdishonest:heknowsshewantstobecoaxed,butpretendshedoesn’t.Heleavesthehouse,feelingcheerfulandrelieved,butlookingwronged.Sheisleftfeelingdisappointedandresentful.

In each of these cases the winner’s position is, from a naïve standpoint,irreproachable;allheorshehasdoneistaketheotherliterally.Thisisclearerin(B),whereWhitetakesMrsWhite’srefusaltogoatfacevalue.Theybothknowthatthisischeating,butsinceshesaidit,sheiscornered.

Themostobviousgainhereistheexternalpsychological.Bothofthemfindmovies sexually stimulating, and it is more or less anticipated that after theyreturn from the theatre, they will make love. Hence whichever one of themwants to avoid intimacy sets up the game in move (2a) or (2b). This is aparticularly exasperating variety of ‘Uproar’ (see Chapter 9). The ‘wronged’partycan,ofcourse,makeagoodcasefornotwantingtomakeloveinastateofjustifiableindignation,andthecorneredspousehasnorecourse.

Antithesis.This is simple forMrsWhite.All shehas todo is changehermind, takeherhusbandby thearm,smileandgoalongwithhim(ashift fromChildtoAdultegostate).ItismoredifficultforMrWhite,sinceshenowhastheinitiative;butifhereviewsthewholesituation,hemaybeabletocoaxherintogoingalongwithhim,eitherasasulkyChildwhohasbeenplacatedor,better,asanAdult.

‘Corner’isfoundinasomewhatdifferentformasafamilygameinvolvingthechildren,whereitresemblesthe‘double-bind’describedbyBatesonandhisassociates.1 Here the child is cornered, so that whatever he does is wrong.Accordingto theBatesonschool thismaybean importantetiological factor inschizophrenia. In the present language, then, schizophrenia may be a child’santithesis to ‘Corner’. Experience in treating adult schizophrenics with gameanalysis bears this out – that is, if the family game of ‘Corner’ is analysed todemonstratethattheschizophrenicbehaviourwasandisspecificallyundertakento counter this game, partial or total remission occurs in a properly preparedpatient.

Aneverydayformof‘Corner’whichisplayedbythewholefamilyandismost likely toaffect thecharacterdevelopmentof theyoungerchildrenoccurs

withmeddlesome ‘Parental’ parents.The little boyor girl is urged tobemorehelpful around the house, butwhen he is, the parents find faultwithwhat hedoes–ahomelyexampleof‘damnedifyoudoanddamnedifyoudon’t’.This‘double-bind’maybecalledtheDilemmaTypeof‘Corner’.

‘Corner’issometimesfoundasanetiologicalfactorinasthmaticchildren.

Littlegirl:‘Mummy,doyouloveme?’Mother:‘Whatislove?’

This answer leaves the child with no direct recourse. She wants to talkaboutmother,andmotherswitchesthesubjecttophilosophy,whichthelittlegirlisnotequippedtohandle.Shebeginstobreathehard,motherisirritated,asthmasets in, mother apologizes and the ‘Asthma Game’ now runs its course. This‘Asthma’typeof‘Corner’remainstobestudiedfurther.

Anelegantvariant,whichmaybecalled the ‘Russell-WhiteheadType’of‘Corner’,sometimesoccursintherapygroups.

Black:‘Well,anyway,whenwe’resilentnobodyisplayinggames.’White:‘Silenceitselfmaybeagame.’Red:‘Nobodywasplayinggamestoday.’White:‘Butnotplayinggamesmayitselfbeagame.’

The therapeutic antithesis is equally elegant. Logical paradoxes areforbidden.WhenWhiteisdeprivedofthismanoeuvre,hisunderlyinganxietiescomequicklytothefore.

Closelyalliedto‘Corner’ontheonehand,andto‘Threadbare’ontheother,isthemaritalgameof‘LunchBag’.Thehusband,whocanwellaffordtohavelunchatagoodrestaurant,neverthelessmakeshimselfafewsandwicheseverymorning,which he takes to the office in a paper bag. In thisway he uses upcrustsofbread, leftovers fromdinnerandpaperbagswhichhiswife saves forhim.This gives him complete control over the family finances, forwhatwifewould dare buy herself a mink stole in the face of such self-sacrifice? Thehusbandreapsnumerousotheradvantages,suchastheprivilegeofeatinglunchbyhimselfandofcatchinguponhisworkduringlunchhour.InmanywaysthisisaconstructivegamewhichBenjaminFranklinwouldhaveapprovedof,sinceitencouragesthevirtuesofthrift,hardworkandpunctuality.

2·COURTROOM

Thesis.Descriptively this belongs to the class of gameswhich find theirmostflorid expressions in law, and which includes ‘Wooden Leg’ (the plea ofinsanity)and‘Debtor’(thecivilsuit).Clinicallyitismostoftenseeninmaritalcounsellingandmaritalpsychotherapygroups.Indeed,somemaritalcounsellingandmaritalgroupsconsistofaperpetualgameof‘Courtroom’inwhichnothingisresolved,sincethegameisneverbrokenup.Insuchcasesitbecomesevidentthat the counsellor or therapist is heavily involved in the gamewithout beingawareofit.

‘Courtroom’canbeplayedbyanynumber,butisessentiallythree-handed,withaplaintiff,adefendantandajudge,representedbyahusband,awifeandthetherapist.IfitisplayedinatherapygrouporovertheradioorTV,theothermembers of the audience are cast as the jury. The husband begins plaintively,‘Letmetellyouwhat(wife’sname)didyesterday.Shetookthe…’etc.,etc.Thewifethenrespondsdefensively,‘Hereisthewayitreallywas…andbesidesjustbeforethathewas…andanywayatthetimewewereboth…’etc.Thehusbandaddsgallantly,‘Well,I’mgladyoupeoplehaveachancetohearbothsidesofthestory, I onlywant to be fair.’At this point the counsellor says judiciously, ‘Itseemstomethatifweconsider…’etc.,etc.Ifthereisanaudience,thetherapistmaythrowittothemwith:‘Well,let’shearwhattheothershavetosay.’Or,ifthegroupisalreadytrained,theywillplaythejurywithoutanyinstructionfromhim.

Antithesis.The therapist says to thehusband, ‘You’reabsolutely right!’ Ifthehusband relaxescomplacentlyor triumphantly, the therapist asks: ‘Howdoyoufeelaboutmysayingthat?’Thehusbandreplies:‘Fine.’Thenthetherapistsays,‘Actually,Ifeelyou’reinthewrong.’Ifthehusbandishonest,hewillsay:‘Iknewthatallalong.’Ifheisnothonest,hewillshowsomereactionthatmakesit clear a game is in progress. Then it becomes possible to go into thematterfurther. The game element lies in the fact that while the plaintiff is overtlyclamouringforvictory,fundamentallyhebelievesthatheiswrong.

Aftersufficientclinicalmaterialhasbeengathered toclarify thesituation,thegamecanbeinterdictedbyamanoeuvrewhichisoneofthemostelegantinthewholeartofantithetics.Thetherapistmakesaruleprohibitingtheuseofthe(grammatical) thirdperson in thegroup.Thenceforward thememberscanonlyaddress each other directly as ‘you’ or talk about themselves as ‘I’, but theycannotsay,‘Letmetellyouabouthim‘or’Letmetellyouabouther’.At thispoint the couple stop playing games in the group altogether, or shift into‘Sweetheart’whichissomeimprovementortakeup‘Furthermore’whichisnohelp at all. ‘Sweetheart’ is described in another section (page 94). In‘Furthermore’ theplaintiffmakesoneaccusationafter theother.Thedefendant

repliestoeach‘Icanexplain’.Theplaintiffpaysnoattentiontotheexplanation,butas soonas thedefendantpauses,he launches intohisnext indictmentwithanother ‘furthermore’, which is followed by another explanation – a typicalParent-Childinterchange.

‘Furthermore’ isplayedmost intensivelybyparanoiddefendants.Becauseof their literalness, it is particularly easy for them to frustrate accusers whoexpress themselves in humorous ormetaphorical terms. In general,metaphorsarethemostobvioustrapstoavoidinagameof‘Furthermore’.

Initseverydayform,‘Courtroom’iseasilyobservedinchildrenasathree-handedgamebetweentwosiblingsandaparent.‘Mummy,shetookmycandyaway.’‘Yes,buthetookmydoll,andbeforethathewashittingme,andanywaywebothpromisedtoshareourcandy.’

ANALYSIS

Thesis:They’vegottosayI’mright.Aim:Reassurance.Roles:Plaintiff,Defendant,Judge(and/orJury).Dynamics:Siblingrivalry.Examples: (1)Childrenquarrelling,parent intervenes. (2)Marriedcouple,

seek‘help’.SocialParadigm:Adult-Adult.Adult:‘Thisiswhatshedidtome.’Adult:‘Therealfactsarethese.’

PsychologicalParadigm:Child-Parent.Child:‘TellmeI’mright.’Parent:‘Thisoneisright.’Or:‘You’rebothright.’

Moves: (1) Complaint filed – Defence filed. (2) Plaintiff files rebuttal,concession, or good-will gesture. (3)Decisionof judgeor instructions to jury.(4)Finaldecisionfiled.

Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological – projection of guilt. (2) ExternalPsychological – excused from guilt. (3) Internal Social – ‘Sweetheart’,‘Furthermore’, ‘Uproar’ and others. (4) External Social – ‘Courtroom’. (5)Biological–strokingfromjudgeandjury.(6)Existential–depressiveposition,I’malwayswrong.

3·FRIGIDWOMAN

Thesis.Thisisalmostalwaysamaritalgame,sinceitishardlyconceivablethataninformalliaisonwouldpresenttherequiredopportunitiesandprivilegesoverasufficientlengthoftime,orthatsuchaliaisonwouldbemaintainedinthefaceofit.

The husbandmakes advances to hiswife and is repulsed.After repeatedattempts,heistoldthatallmenarebeasts,hedoesn’treallyloveher,ordoesn’tloveherforherself,thatallheisinterstedinissex.Hedesistsforatime,thentries again with the same result. Eventually he resigns himself andmakes nofurtheradvances.As theweeksormonthspass, thewifebecomes increasinglyinformalandsometimesforgetful.Shewalksthroughthebedroomhalfdressedorforgetshercleantowelwhenshetakesabathsothathehastobringittoher.

Ifsheplaysahardgameordrinksheavily,shemaybecomeflirtatiouswithothermenatparties.Atlengthherespondstothoseprovocationsandtriesagain.Oncemore he is repulsed, and a game of ‘Uproar’ ensues involving their recentbehaviour, other couples, their in-laws, their finances and their failures,terminatedbyaslammingdoor.

Thistimethehusbandmakesuphismindthatheisreallythrough,thattheywillfindasexlessmodusvivendi.Monthspass.Hedeclinesthenegligeeparadeand the forgotten towel manoeuvre. The wife becomes more provocativelyinformalandmoreprovocativelyforgetful,buthestillresists.Thenoneeveningshe actually approaches him and kisses him. At first he doesn’t respond,rememberinghis resolution,but soonnaturebegins to take its courseafter thelong famine, and now he thinks he surely has it made. His first tentativeadvances are not repulsed. He becomes bolder and bolder. Just at the criticalpoint,thewifestepsbackandcries:‘See,whatdidItellyou!Allmenarebeasts,allIwantedwasaffection,butallyouareinterestedinissex!’Theensuinggameof ‘Uproar’ at this point may skip the preliminary phases of their recentbehaviourandtheirin-laws,andgorighttothefinancialproblem.

Itshouldbenotedthat inspiteofhisprotestations, thehusbandisusuallyjustasafraidofsexualintimacyashiswifeis,andhadcarefullychosenhismatetominimize thedangerofovertaxinghisdisturbedpotency,whichhecannowblameonher.

In its everyday form this game is played by unmarried ladies of variousages,whichsoonearnsthemacommonslangepithet.Withthemitoftenmergesintothegameofindignation,or‘Rapo’.

Antithesis.Thisisadangerousgame,andthepossibleantithesesareequallydangerous. Taking a mistress is a gamble. In the face of such stimulatingcompetition,thewifemaygiveupthegameandtrytoinitiateanormalmarriedlife,perhapstoolate,Ontheotherhand,shemayusetheaffair,oftenwiththehelpofalawyer,asammunitionagainstthehusbandinagameof‘NowI’veGotYou,YouSonofaBitch’.Theoutcomeisequallyunpredictableifthehusbandundertakes psychotherapy and she does not.Thewife’s gamemay collapse asthehusbandgrowsstronger,leadingtohealthieradjustment;butifsheisahardplayer, improvement on his part may result in divorce. The best solution, ifavailable, isforbothpartiestogointoatransactionalmaritalgroup,wheretheunderlyingadvantagesof thegameand thebasic sexualpathologycanbe laidbare. With this preparation both spouses may become interested in intensiveindividualpsychotherapy.Thatmayresultinapsychologicalremarriage.Ifnot,at least each of the parties may make a more sensible readjustment to thesituationthantheymighthaveotherwise.

The decent antithesis for the everyday form is to find another socialcompanion.Someoftheshrewderormorebrutalantithesesarecorruptandevencriminal.

Relatives.Theconversegame, ‘FrigidMan’, is less common,but it takesmuchthesamegeneralcoursewithsomevariationsindetail.Thefinaloutcomedependsuponthescriptsofthepartiesinvolved.

Thecrucialpointof‘FrigidWoman’istheterminalphaseof‘Uproar’.Oncethishasrunitscourse,sexualintimacyisoutofthequestion,sincebothpartiesderiveaperversesatisfactionfrom‘Uproar’andhavenoneedoffurthersexualexcitement from each other. Hence the most important item in anti- ‘FrigidWoman’ is to decline ‘Uproar’. This leaves the wife in a state of sexualdisatisfactionwhichmaybesoacutethatshewillbecomemorecompliant.Theuse made of ‘Uproar’ distinguishes ‘Frigid Woman’ from ‘Beat Me Daddy’,where‘Uproar’ ispartof theforeplay; in‘FrigidWoman’, ‘Uproar’substitutesfor the sexact itself.Thus in ‘BeatMeDaddy’, ‘Uproar’ isaconditionof thesexual act, a kind of fetish which increases the excitement, while in ‘FrigidWoman’,once‘Uproar’hastakenplace,theepisodeisfinished.

Anearlyanalogueof‘FrigidWoman’isplayedbythattypeofprissylittlegirldescribedbyDickensinGreatExpectations.Shecomesoutinherstarcheddressandasksthelittleboytomakeheramudpie.Thenshesneersathisdirtyhandsandclothingandtellshimhowcleansheis.

ANALYSIS

Thesis:NowI’vegotyou,yousonofabitch.Aim:Vindication.Roles:ProperWife,InconsiderateHusband.Dynamics:Penisenvy.Examples: (1) Thank you for the mud pie, you dirty little boy. (2)

Provocative,frigidwife.SocialParadigm:Parent-Child.Parent:‘Igiveyoupermissiontomakemeamudpie(kissme).’Child:‘I’dloveto.’Parent:‘Nowseehowdirtyyouare.’

PsychologicalParadigm:Child-Parent.Child:‘Seeifyoucanseduceme.’Parent:‘I’lltry,ifyoustopme.’Child:‘See,itwasyouwhostartedit.’

Moves: (1)Seduction-Response. (2)Rejection-Resignation. (3)Provocation-Response.(4)Rejection-Uproar.

Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological – freedom from guilt for sadisticfantasies.(2)ExternalPsychological–avoidsfearedexhibitionandpenetration.(3)InternalSocial–‘Uproar’.(4)ExternalSocial–Whatdoyoudowithdirtylittle boys (husbands)? (5) Biological – inhibited sex play and belligerentexchanges.(6)Existential–Iampure.

4·HARRIED

Thesis.This is agameplayedby theharriedhousewife.Her situation requiresthatshebeproficientintenortwelvedifferentoccupations;or,statedotherwise,that she fill gracefully ten or twelve different roles. From time to time semi-facetious listsof theseoccupationsor rolesappear in theSundaysupplements:mistress,mother,nurse,housemaid,etc.Sincetheserolesareusuallyconflictingandfatiguing,theirimpositiongivesriseinthecourseofyearstotheconditionsymbolicallyknownas‘Housewife’sKnee’(sincethekneeisusedforrocking,scrubbing, lifting, driving and so forth), whose symptoms are succinctlysummarizedinthecomplaint:‘I’mtired.’

Now, if the housewife is able to set her own pace and find enough

satisfaction in loving her husband and children, shewill notmerely serve butenjoyhertwenty-fiveyears,andseetheyoungestchildofftocollegewithapangofloneliness.ButifontheonehandsheisdrivenbyherinnerParentandcalledtoaccountby thecriticalhusband shehaschosen for thatpurpose, andon theotherunabletogetsufficientsatisfactionfromlovingherfamily,shemaygrowmore and more unhappy. At first she may try to console herself with theadvantagesof‘IfItWeren’tForYou’and‘Blemish’(andindeed,anyhousewifemayfallbackonthesewhenthegoinggetsrough);butsoonthesefail tokeepher going. Then she has to find another way out, and that is the game of‘Harried’.

Thethesisofthisgameissimple.Shetakesoneverythingthatcomes,andevenasksformore.Sheagreeswithherhusband’scriticismsandacceptsallherchildren’sdemands.Ifshehastoentertainatdinner,shenotonlyfeelsshemustfunction impeccably as a conversationalist, chatelaine over the household andservants,interiordecorator,caterer,glamourgirl,virginqueenanddiplomat;shewill also volunteer that morning to bake a cake and take the children to thedentist.Ifshealreadyfeelsharassed,shemakesthedayevenmoreharried.Thenin themiddleof theafternoonshe justifiablycollapses,andnothinggetsdone.Sheletsdownherhusband,thechildrenandtheirguests,andherself-reproachesadd to her misery. After this happens two or three times her marriage is injeopardy,thechildrenareconfused,shelosesweight,herhairisuntidy,herfaceisdrawnandhershoesarescuffed.Thensheappearsatthepsychiatrist’soffice,readytobehospitalized.

Antithesis.Thelogicalantithesis issimple:MrsWhitecanfilleachofherrolesinsuccessionduringtheweek,butshemustrefusetoplaytwoormoreofthemsimultaneously.Whenshegivesacocktailparty,forexample,shecanplayeither caterer or nursemaid, but not both. If she is merely suffering fromHousewife’sKnee,shemaybeabletolimitherselfinthisway.

If she is actually playing a game of ‘Harried’, however, it will be verydifficultforhertoadheretothisprinciple.Inthatcasethehusbandiscarefullychosen;he isanotherwise reasonablemanwhowillcriticizehiswife if she isnotasefficientashethinkshismotherwas.Ineffect,shemarrieshisfantasyofhismother as perpetuated in hisParent,which is similar to her fantasy of hermother or grandmother. Having found a suitable partner, her Child can nowsettle into the harassed role necessary to maintain her psychic balance, andwhich she will not readily give up. The more occupational responsibility thehusbandhas, theeasier it is forbothof themtofindAdult reasons topreservetheunhealthyaspectsoftheirrelationship.

When the position becomes untenable, often because of official school

interventiononbehalfof theunhappyoffspring, thepsychiatrist iscalled in tomake ita three-handedgame.Either thehusbandwantshim todoanoverhauljob on the wife, or the wife wants him as an ally against the husband. Theensuingproceedingsdependontheskillandalertnessofthepsychiatrist.Usuallythe first phase, the alleviationof thewife’sdepression,will proceed smoothly.The second phase, in which she will give up playing ‘Harried’ in favour ofplaying‘Psychiatry’,isthedecisiveone.Ittendstoarouseincreasingoppositionfrom both spouses. Sometimes this is well concealed and then explodessuddenly,thoughnotunexpectedly.Ifthisstageisweathered,thentherealworkofgameanalysiscanproceed.

It is necessary to recognize that the real culprit is the wife’s Parent, hermotherorgrandmother;thehusbandistosomeextentonlyalayfigurechosentoplayhisroleinthegame.ThetherapisthastofightnotonlythisParentandthehusband, who has a heavy investment in playing his end, but also the socialenvironment,whichencouragesthewife’scompliance.Theweekafterthearticleappearsaboutthemanyrolesahousewifehastoplay,thereisaHow’mIDoing?intheSundaypaper:aten-itemtesttodetermine‘HowGoodAHostess(Wife)(Mother) (Housekeeper) (Budgeteer) Are You?’ For the housewife who plays‘Harried’, that is the equivalent of the little leaflet that comeswith children’sgames, stating the rules. It may help to speed up the evolution of ‘Harried’,which,ifnotchecked,mayendinagameof‘StateHospital’(‘ThelastthingIwantistobesenttoahospital’).

Onepracticaldifficultywithsuchcouplesisthatthehusbandtendstoavoidpersonal involvementwith the treatmentbeyondplaying ‘LookHowHard I’mTrying’,becauseheisusuallymoredisturbedthanhecarestoadmit.Insteadhemaysendindirectmessagestothetherapist,throughtemperoutburstswhichheknowswillbereportedbythewife.Hence‘Harried’easilyprogressestoathird-degreelife-death-divorcestruggle.Thepsychiatristisalmostaloneonthesideoflife,assistedonlybytheharriedAdultofthepatientwhichislockedincombatthatmayprovemortal against all threeaspectsof thehusband, alliedwithherowninnerParentandChild.Itisadramaticbattle,withoddsoftwoagainstfive,which tries the skill of the most game-free and professional therapist. If hequails, he can take the easy way out and offer his patient on the altar of thedivorce court,which is equivalent to saying ‘I surrender – Let’s you and himfight.’

5·IFITWEREN’TFORYOU

Thesis.ThedetailedanalysisofthisgamehasalreadybeengiveninChapter5.Itwashistoricallythesecondgameuncovered,after‘WhyDon’tYou–YesBut’,whichuptothatpointhadbeenregardedmerelyasaninterestingphenomenon.With the additional discovery of IWFY, it became clear that there must be awholedepartmentof social actionbasedonulterior transactions.This led to amore active search for such goings-on, and the present collection is oneoutcome.

Briefly, a womanmarries a domineeringman so that hewill restrict heractivitiesandthuskeepherfromgettingintosituationswhichfrightenher.Ifthiswereasimpleoperation,shemightexpresshergratitudewhenheperformedthisserviceforher.InthegameofIWFY,however,herreactionisquitetheopposite:she takes advantage of the situation to complain about the restrictions, whichmakesherspousefeeluneasyandgivesherallsortsofadvantages.Thisgameisthe internal social advantage. The external social advantage is the derivativepastime‘IfItWeren’tForHim’,whichsheplayswithhercongenialladyfriends.

6·LOOKHOWHARDI’VETRIED

Thesis. In its common clinical form this is a three-handed game played by amarried couple with a psychiatrist. The husband (usually) is bucking for adivorce, despite loud protestations to the contrary, while the spouse is moresincere in wanting to continue themarriage. He comes to the therapist underprotestand talks justenoughtodemonstrate to thewife thathe iscooperating;usuallyheplaysamildgameof‘Psychiatry’or‘Courtroom’.Astimepassesheexhibits either increasingly resentful pseudo-compliance or belligerentargumentativeness towards the therapist. At home he initially shows more‘understanding’ and restraint, and finally behaves worse than ever. After one,fiveortenvisits,dependingontheskillofthetherapist,herefusestocomeanylongerandgoeshuntingorfishinginstead.Thewifeisthenforcedintofilingfordivorce.Thehusband is nowblameless, sincehiswife has taken the initiativeandhehasdemonstratedhisgoodfaithbygoingtothetherapist.Heisinagoodposition to say to any attorney, judge, friend or relative, ‘Look howhard I’vetried!’

Antithesis.Thecoupleisseentogether.Ifone–letussaythehusband–isclearly playing this game, the other is taken into individual treatment and theplayerissentonhisway,onthevalidgroundthatheislessreadyfortherapy.Hecanstillgetadivorce,butonlyattheexpenseofabandoninghispositionthatheis really trying. Ifnecessary, thewifecanstart thedivorce,andherposition is

muchimprovedsinceshereallyhastried.Thefavourable,hoped-foroutcomeisthat thehusband,hisgamebrokenup,will go into a stateofdespair and thenseektreatmentelsewherewithgenuinemotivation.

In its everyday form this is easily observed in children as a two-handedgamewithoneparent.Itisplayedfromeitheroftwopositions:‘Iamhelpless’or‘I am blameless’. The child tries, but bungles or is unsuccessful. If he isHelpless, theparenthas todo it forhim. Ifhe isBlameless, theparenthasnoreasonable grounds for punishing him.This reveals the elements of the game.The parents should find out two things: which of them taught the child thisgame;andwhattheyaredoingtoperpetuateit.

Aninteresting,thoughsometimessinister,variantis‘LookHowHardIWasTrying’,whichisusuallyahardergameofthesecondorthirddegree.Thiscanbe illustratedby thecaseofahardworkingmanwithagastriculcer.Therearemanypeoplewithprogressivephysicaldisabilitieswhodothebest theycantocope with the situation, and they may enlist the help of their families in alegitimate way. Such conditions, however, can also be exploited for ulteriorpurposes.

FirstDegree:Amanannouncestohiswifeandfriendsthathehasanulcer.He also lets them know that he is continuing to work. This elicits theiradmiration.Perhapsapersonwithapainfulandunpleasantconditionisentitledto a certain amount of ostentation as a poor recompense for his suffering.Heshouldbegivenduecreditfornotplaying‘WoodenLeg’instead,anddeservessome reward for continuing to assume his responsibilities. In such a case, thecourteous reply to ‘LookHowHard I’m Trying’ is, ‘Yes, we all admire yourfortitudeandconscientiousness.’

SecondDegree:Amanistoldthathehasanulcer,butkeepsitasecretfromhiswife and friends.Hecontinuesworkingandworryingashard as ever, andonedayhecollapsesonthejob.Whenhiswifeisnotified,shegetsthemessageinstantly: ‘LookHowHard IWasTrying. ‘Now she is supposed to appreciatehimassheneverhasbefore,andtofeelsorryforallthemeanthingsshehassaidand done in the past. In short, she is now supposed to love him, all previousmethods of wooing her having failed. Unfortunately for the husband, hermanifestations of affection and solicitude at this point are more apt to bemotivatedbyguiltthanbylove.Deepdownsheislikelytoberesentfulbecauseheisusingunfairleverageagainsther,andhasalsotakenunfairadvantageofherby keeping his illness a secret. In short, a diamond bracelet is a much morehonestinstrumentofcourtshipthanaperforatedstomach.Shehastheoptionofthrowing the jewellery back at him, but she cannot decently walk out on theulcer.Asuddenconfrontationwithaserious illness ismore likely tomakeher

feeltrappedthanwonover.Thisgamecanoftenbediscoveredimmediatelyafterthepatientfirsthears

thathehasapotentiallyprogressivedisability.Ifheisgoingtoplayit,thewholeplanwillverylikelyflashthroughhismindatthatpoint,andcanberecoveredbyacarefulpsychiatricreviewofthesituation.Whatisrecoveredis thesecretgloatingofhisChildatlearningthathehassuchaweapon,maskedbyhisAdultconcernatthepracticalproblemsraisedbyhisillness.

Third Degree: Even more sinister and spiteful is the sudden unheraldedsuicidebecauseof serious illness.Theulcerprogresses tocancer,andonedaythewife,whohasneverbeeninformedthatanythingseriousisamiss,walksintothe bathroom and finds her husband lying there dead. The note says clearlyenough,‘LookHowHardIWasTrying.’Ifsomethinglikethishappenstwicetothesamewoman,itistimeforhertofindoutwhatshehasbeenplaying.

ANALYSIS

Thesis:Theycan’tpushmearound.Aim:Vindication.Roles:Standfast,Persecutor,Authority.Dynamics:Analpassivity.Examples:(1)Childdressing.(2)Spousebuckingfordivorce.SocialParadigm:Adult-Adult.Adult:‘It’stimeto(getdressed)(gotoapsychiatrist).’Adult:‘Allright,I’lltryit.’

PsychologicalParadigm:Parent-Child.Parent:‘I’mgoingtomakeyou(getdressed)(gotoapsychiatrist).’Child:‘See,itdoesn’twork.’

Moves: (1) Suggestion-Resistance. (2) Pressure-Compliance. (3) Approval-Failure.Advantages: (1) InternalPsychological– freedom fromguilt for aggression.

(2)ExternalPsychological–evadesdomesticresponsibilities.(3)InternalSocial– Look how hard I’ve tried. (4) External Social – same. (5) Biological –belligerentexchanges.(6)Existential–Iamhelpless(blameless).

7·SWEETHEART

Thesis. This is seen in its fullest flower in the early stages of marital grouptherapy, when the parties feel defensive; it can also be observed on socialoccasions.WhitemakesasubtlyderogatoryremarkaboutMrsWhite,disguisedasananecdote,andends:‘Isn’tthatright,sweetheart?’MrsWhitetendstoagreefortwoostensiblyAdultreasons:(a)becausetheanecdoteitselfisinthemain,accuratelyreported,andtodisagreeaboutwhatispresentedasaperipheraldetail(but is really the essential point of the transaction) would seem pedantic; (b)becauseitwouldseemsurlytodisagreewithamanwhocallsone‘sweetheart’inpublic.Thepsychologicalreasonforheragreement,however, isherdepressiveposition. Shemarried him precisely because she knew hewould perform thisservice for her: exposing her deficiencies and thus saving her from theembarrassmentofhavingtoexposethemherself.Herparentsaccommodatedherthesamewaywhenshewaslittle.

Next to ‘Courtroom’, this is the most common game played in marital

groups.Themoretensethesituation,andthecloserthegameistoexposure,themore bitterly is the word ‘sweetheart’ enunciated, until the underlyingresentmentbecomesobvious.Oncarefulconsiderationitcanbeseenthatthisisa relative of ‘Schlemiel’, since the significant move is Mrs White’s implicitforgivenessforWhite’sresentment,ofwhichsheistryinghardnottobeaware.Henceanti-‘Sweetheart’isplayedanalogouslytoanti-‘Schlemiel’:‘Youcantellderogatory anecdotes about me, but please don’t call me “sweetheart”.’ Thisantithesis carries with it the same perils as does anti-‘Schlemiel’. A moresophisticatedandlessdangerousantithesisistoreply:‘Yes,honey!’

In another form the wife, instead of agreeing, responds with a similar‘Sweetheart’typeanecdoteaboutthehusband,sayingineffect,‘Youhaveadirtyfacetoo,dear.’

Sometimes the endearments are not actually pronounced, but a carefullistenercanhearthemevenwhentheyareunspoken.Thisis‘Sweetheart’,SilentType.

REFERENCE

1. Bateson, G., et al., ‘Toward a Theory of Schizophrenia’, BehavioralScience,1:251–264,1956.

8·PartyGames

PARTIES are for pastimes, and pastimes are for parties (including the periodbeforeagroupmeetingofficiallybegins),butasacquaintanceshipripens,gamesbegintoemerge.TheSchlemielandhisvictimrecognizeeachother,asdoBigDaddyandLittleOldMe;allthefamiliarbutdisregardedprocessesofselectiongetunderway.Inthissectionfourgameswhicharetypicallyplayedinordinarysocial situations are considered: ‘Ain’t It Awful’, ‘Blemish’, ‘Schlemiel’, and‘WhyDon’tYou–YesBut’.

1·AIN’TITAWFUL

Thesis.Thisisplayedinfoursignificantforms:Parentalpastime,Adultpastime,Childpastimeandgame.Inthepastimesthereisnodenouementorpayoff,butmuchunworthyfeeling.

1. ‘Nowadays’ is the self-righteous, punitive or even vicious Parentalpastime. Sociologically it is common among certain types of middle-agedwomen with small independent incomes. One such woman withdrew from atherapygroupwhenheropeningmovewasmetwithsilenceinsteadofwiththeexcited corroboration shewas accustomed to in her social circle. In thismoresophisticatedgroup,accustomedtogameanalysis,therewasaconspicuouslackoftogethernesswhenWhiteremarked:‘Speakingofnottrustingpeople,it’snowonderyoucan’ttrustanyonenowadays.Iwaslookingthroughthedeskofoneofmyroomers,andyouwon’tbelievewhatIfound.’Sheknewtheanswerstomostofthecurrentcommunityproblems:juveniledelinquency(parentstoosoftnowadays);divorce(wiveswithoutenoughtodotokeepthembusynowadays);crime (foreigners moving into white neighbourhoods nowadays); and risingprices(businessmentoograspingnowadays).Shemadeitclearthatsheherselfwasnotsoftwithherdelinquentson,norwithherdelinquenttenants.

‘Nowadays’isdifferentiatedfromidlegossipbyitsslogan‘It’snowonder’.Theopeningmovemaybethesame(‘TheysaythatFlossieMurgatroyd’),butin‘Nowadays’thereisdirectionandclosure;an‘explanation’maybeoffered.Idlegossipmerelyramblesortrailsoff.

2. ‘Broken Skin’ is themore benevolentAdult variation,with the slogan‘Whatapity!’althoughtheunderlyingmotivationsareequallymorbid.‘BrokenSkin’dealsprimarilywiththeflowofblood;itisessentiallyaninformalclinical

colloquium.Anyoneiseligibletopresentacase,themorehorrifyingthebetter,anddetailsareeagerlyconsidered.Blowsintheface,abdominaloperationsanddifficultchildbirthsareacceptedtopics.Herethedifferentiationfromidlegossiplies in the rivalry and surgical sophistication.Pathological anatomy, diagnosis,prognosis and comparative case studies are systematically pursued. A goodprognosisisapprovedinidlegossip,butin‘BrokenSkin’aconsistentlyhopefuloutlook, unless obviously insincere, may invoke a secret meeting of theCredentialsCommitteebecausetheplayerisnonparticepscriminis.

3.‘WaterCooler’,or‘CoffeeBreak’,istheChildpastime,withtheslogan‘Lookwhatthey’redoingtousnow.’Thisisanorganizationalvariant.Itmaybeplayedafterdarkinthemilderpoliticaloreconomicformcalled‘BarStool’.Itisactually three-handed, the ace being held by the often shadowy figure called‘They’.

4. As a game, ‘Ain’t It Awful’ finds its most dramatic expression inpolysurgeryaddicts,andtheirtransactionsillustrateitscharacteristics.Thesearedoctor-shoppers, people who actively seek surgery even in the face of soundmedicalopposition.Theexperienceitself,thehospitalizationandsurgery,bringsits own advantages. The internal psychological advantage comes from havingthebodymutilated;theexternalpsychologicaladvantageliesintheavoidanceofallintimaciesandresponsibilitiesexceptcompletesurrendertothesurgeon.Thebiological advantages are typified by nursing care. The internal socialadvantages come from themedical and nursing staff, and from other patients.After the patient’s discharge the external social advantages are gained byprovoking sympathy and awe. In its extreme form this game is playedprofessionally by fraudulent or determined liability andmalpractice claimants,whomayearnalivingbydeliberatelyoropportunisticallyincurringdisabilities.They then demand not only sympathy, as amateur players do, butindemnification.‘Ain’tItAwful’becomesagame,then,whentheplayerovertlyexpressesdistress,butiscovertlygratifiedattheprospectofthesatisfactionshecanwringfromhismisfortune.

Ingeneral,peoplewhosuffermisfortunesmaybedividedintothreeclasses.1.Thoseinwhomthesufferingisinadvertentandunwanted.Thesemayor

may not exploit the sympathy which is so readily offered to them. Someexploitationisnaturalenough,andmaybetreatedwithcommoncourtesy.

2. Those in whom the suffering is inadvertent, but is gratefully receivedbecause of the opportunities for exploitation it offers. Here the game is anafterthought,a‘secondarygrain’inFreud’ssense.

3. Those who seek suffering, like polysurgery addicts who go from onesurgeon toanotheruntil they findonewilling tooperate.Here thegame is the

primaryconsideration.

2·BLEMISH

Thesis. This game is the source of a large percentage of petty dissension ineveryday life; it is played from the depressiveChild position ‘I amno good’,whichisprotectivelytransformedintotheParentalposition‘Theyarenogood.’The player’s transactional problem is, then, to prove the latter thesis. Hence‘Blemish’ players do not feel comfortable with a new person until they havefoundhisblemish.Initshardestformitmaybecomeatotalitarianpoliticalgameplayed by ‘authoritarian’ personalities, and then itmay have serious historicalrepercussions. Here its close relationship with ‘Nowadays’ is evident. Insuburban society positive reassurance is obtained from playing ‘How’m IDoing?’while ‘Blemish’ provides negative reassurance.Apartial analysiswillmakesomeoftheelementsofthisgameclearer.

Thepremisemayrangefromthemost trivialandextraneous(‘Lastyear’shat’),tothemostcynical(‘Hasn’tgot$7,000inthebank’),sinister(‘Not100%Aryan’), esoteric (‘Hasn’t read Rilke’) intimate (‘Can’t hold his erection’) orsophisticated (‘What’s he trying to prove?’). Psychodynamically it is usuallybased on sexual insecurity, and its aim is reassurance.Transactionally there isprying, morbid curiosity or watchfulness, sometimes with Parental or Adultconcerncharitablymasking theChild’s relish. Ithas the internalpsychologicaladvantageofwardingoffdepression,and theexternalpsychologicaladvantageof avoiding the intimacy which might exposeWhite’s own blemishes.Whitefeelsjustifiedinturningawayanunfashionablewoman,amanwithoutfinancialbacking,anon-Aryan,anilliterate,animpotentmanoraninsecurepersonality.At the same time the prying offers some internal social actionwith biologicalgain. The external social advantage is of the ‘Ain’t It Awful’ family –NeighbourlyType.

AninterestingsidelightisthatWhite’schoiceofpremiseisindependentofhis intellectual capacity or apparent sophistication. Thus amanwho had heldsomeresponsiblepositionsintheforeignserviceofhiscountrytoldanaudiencethat another country was inferior because, among other things, themenworejacketswithsleevesthatweretoolong.InhisAdultegostatethismanwasquitecompetent.OnlywhenplayingaParentalgamelike‘Blemish’wouldhementionsuchirrelevancies.

3·SCHLEMIEL

Tliesis. The term ‘schlemiel’ does not refer to the hero ofChamisso’s novel,1whowasamanwithouta shadow,but toapopularYiddishwordallied to theGerman and Dutch words for cunning. The Schlemiel’s victim, who issomething like the ‘Good-Natured Fellow’ of Paul de Kock,2 is colloquiallycalledtheSchlemazl.Themovesinatypicalgameof‘Schlemiel’areasfollows:1W.Whitespillsahighballonthehostess’seveninggown.

1B.Black(thehost)respondsinitiallywithrage,buthesenses(oftenonlyvaguely)thatifheshowsit,Whitewins.Blackthereforepullshimselftogether,andthisgiveshimtheillusionthathewins.

2W.Whitesays:‘I’msorry.’2B. Blackmutters or cries forgiveness, strengthening his illusion that he

wins.3W.White thenproceeds to inflict other damageonBlack’sproperty.He

breaks things, spills things and makes messes of various kinds. After thecigarette burn in the tablecloth, the chair leg through the lace curtain and thegravyontherug,White’sChildisexhilaratedbecausehehasenjoyedhimselfincarryingouttheseprocedures,forallofwhichhehasbeenforgiven,whileBlackhasmadeagratifyingdisplayofsufferingself-control.Thusbothofthemprofitfromanunfortunatesituation,andBlackisnotnecessarilyanxioustoterminatethefriendship.

As inmost games,White,whomakes the firstmove,wins eitherway. IfBlack showshis anger,White can feel justified in returning the resentment. IfBlack restrains himself,White can go on enjoying his opportunities. The realpayoff in this game, however, is not the pleasure of destructiveness,which ismerelyanaddedbonusforWhite,butthefactthatheobtainsforgiveness.*Thisleadsdirectlyintotheantithesis.

Antithesis. Anti-‘Schlemiel’ is played by not offering the demandedabsolution.AfterWhitesays‘I’msorry’,Black,insteadofmuttering‘It’sokay’,says,‘Tonightyoucanembarrassmywife,ruinthefurnitureandwrecktherug,butpleasedon’t say“I’msorry”.’HereBlack switches frombeinga forgivingParent tobeinganobjectiveAdultwho takes the full responsibility forhavinginvitedWhiteinthefirstplace.

TheintensityofWhite’sgamewillberevealedbyhisreaction,whichmaybequite explosive.Onewhoplays anti-‘Schlemiel’ runs the riskof immediatereprisalsor,atanyrate,ofmakinganenemy.

Childrenplay‘Schlemiel’inanabortiveforminwhichtheyarenotalwayssureofforgivenessbutatleasthavethepleasureofmakingmesses;astheylearn

to comport themselves socially, however, they may take advantage of theirincreasingsophisticationtoobtaintheforgivenesswhichisthechiefgoalofthegameasplayedinpolite,grownupsocialcircles.

ANALYSIS

Thesis:Icanbedestructiveandstillgetforgiveness.Aim:Absolution.Roles:Aggressor,Victim(colloquially,SchlemielandSchlemazl).Dynamics:Analaggression.Examples: (1) Messily destructive children. (2) Clumsy guest. Social

Paradigm:Adult-Adult.Adult:‘SinceI’mpolite,youhavetobepolite,too.’Adult:‘That’sfine.Iforgiveyou.’

PsychologicalParadigm:Child-Parent.Child:‘Youhavetoforgivethingswhichappearaccidental.’Parent:‘Youareright.Ihavetoshowyouwhatgoodmannersare.’

Moves:(1)Provocation-resentment.(2)Apology-forgiveness.Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological – pleasure of messing. (2) External

Psychological – Avoids punishment. (3) Internal Social – ‘Schlemiel.’ (4)ExternalSocial–‘Schlemiel.’(5)Biological–provocativeandgentlestroking.(6)Existential–Iamblameless.

4·WHYDON’TYOU–YESBUT

Thesis. ‘WhyDon’tYou–YesBut’occupiesaspecialplace ingameanalysis,because itwas the original stimulus for the concept of games. Itwas the firstgametobedissectedoutofitssocialcontext,andsinceitistheoldestsubjectofgame analysis, it is one of the best understood. It is also the game mostcommonlyplayedatpartiesandingroupsofallkinds,includingpsychotherapygroups.The following examplewill serve to illustrate itsmain characteristics:White: ‘My husband always insists on doing our own repairs, and he neverbuildsanythingright.’

Black:‘Whydoesn’thetakeacourseincarpentry?’White:‘Yes,buthedoesn’thavetime.’Blue:‘Whydon’tyoubuyhimsomegoodtools?’White:‘Yes,buthedoesn’tknowhowtousethem.’Red:‘Whydon’tyouhaveyourbuildingdonebyacarpenter?’White:‘Yes,butthatwouldcosttoomuch.’Brown:‘Whydon’tyoujustacceptwhathedoesthewayhedoesit?’

White:‘Yes,butthewholethingmightfalldown.’Suchanexchangeistypicallyfollowedbyasilence.Itiseventuallybroken

byGreen,whomay say something like, ‘That’smen for you, aways trying toshowhowefficienttheyare.’

YDYBcanbeplayedbyanynumber.Theagentpresents aproblem.Theothers start to present solutions, each beginningwith ‘Whydon’t you…?’ToeachoftheseWhiteobjectswitha‘Yes,but…’Agoodplayercanstandofftheothers indefinitely until they all give up, whereupon White wins. In manysituations shemight have to handle a dozenormore solutions to engineer thecrestfallen silencewhich signifieshervictory, andwhich leaves the fieldopenfor the next game in the above paradigm, Green switching into ‘PTA’,DelinquentHusbandType.

Sincethesolutionsare,withrareexceptions,rejected,itisapparentthatthisgamemustservesomeulteriorpurpose.YDYBisnotplayedfor itsostensiblepurpose(anAdultquestforinformationorsolutions),buttoreassureandgratifytheChild.Abare transcriptmaysoundAdult,but in the living tissue itcanbeobservedthatWhitepresentsherselfasaChildinadequatetomeetthesituation;whereupontheothersbecometransformedintosageParentsanxioustodispensetheirwisdomforherbenefit.

Figure8.WhyDon’tYou–YesBut

ThisisillustratedinFigure8.Thegamecanproceedbecauseatthesociallevel both stimulus and response areAdult toAdult, and at the psychologicallevel they are also complementary,withParent toChild stimulus (‘Whydon’tyou…’) elicitingChild to Parent response (‘Yes, but…’). The psychologicallevel isusuallyunconsciousonbothsides,but theshifts inegostate (Adult to‘inadequate’ Child onWhite’s part, Adult to ‘wise’ Parent by the others) canoftenbedetectedbyanalertobserver fromchanges inposture,muscular tone,

voiceandvocabulary.Inordertoillustratetheimplications,itisinstructivetofollowthroughon

theexamplegivenabove.Therapist:‘Didanyonesuggestanythingyouhadn’tthoughtofyourself?’White: ‘No, they didn’t. As a matter of fact, I’ve actually tried almost

everythingtheysuggested.Ididbuymyhusbandsometools,andhedidtakeacourseincarpentry.’

HereWhite demonstrates two of the reasonswhy the proceedings shouldnotbetakenatfacevalue.First,inthemajorityofcasesWhiteisasintelligentasanyoneelseinthecompany,anditisveryunlikelythatotherswillsuggestanysolutionthatshehasnotthoughtofherself.Ifsomeonedoeshappentocomeupwithanoriginalsuggestion,Whitewillacceptitgratefullyifsheisplayingfair;that is, her ‘inadequate’ Child will give way if anyone present has an ideaingenious enough to stimulateherAdult.But habitualYDYBplayers, such asWhite above, seldom play fair. On the other hand, a too ready acceptance ofsuggestions raises the question of whether the YDYB is not masking anunderlyinggameof‘Stupid’.

Theexamplegivenisparticularlydramatic,becauseitclearlyillustratesthesecondpoint.EvenifWhitehasactually triedsomeof thesolutionspresented,shewillstillobjecttothem.Thepurposeofthegameisnottogetsuggestions,buttorejectthem.

While almost anyone will play this game under proper circumstancesbecause of its time-structuring value, careful study of individuals whoparticularly favour it reveals several interesting features. First, theycharacteristically can andwill play either sideof thegamewith equal facility.Thisswitchabilityofrolesistrueofallgames.Playersmayhabituallypreferoneroletoanother,buttheyarecapableoftrading,andtheyarewillingtoplayanyotherroleinthesamegameifforsomereasonthatisindicated.(Compare,forexample, the switch from Drinker to Rescuer in the game of ‘Alcoholic’.)Second,inclinicalpracticeitisfoundthatpeoplewhofavourYDYBbelongtothatclassofpatientswhoeventuallyrequesthypnosisorsomesortofhypnoticinjectionasamethodofspeedinguptheirtreatment.Whentheyareplayingthegame, their object is to demonstrate that no one can give them an acceptablesuggestion–that is, theywillneversurrender;whereaswiththetherapist, theyrequest aprocedurewhichwillput them ina stateof complete surrender. It isthus apparent that YDYB represents a social solution to a conflict aboutsurrender.

Evenmore specifically, this game is common among peoplewho have afearofblushing,asthefollowingtherapeuticexchangedemonstrates:Therapist:

‘Whydoyouplay“WhyDon’tYou–YesBut”ifyouknowit’sacon?’White:‘IfI’mtalkingtosomebodyIhavetokeepthinkingofthingstosay.

IfIdon’t, I’llblush.Except in thedark.Ican’tstanda lull. Iknowit,andmyhusbandknowsit,too.He’salwaystoldmethat.’

Therapist:‘YoumeanifyourAdultdoesn’tkeepbusy,yourChildtakesthechancetopopupandmakeyoufeelembarrassed?’

White:‘That’sit.SoifIcankeepmakingsuggestionstosomebody,orgethim tomakesuggestions tome, thenI’mall right, I’mprotected.As longas IcankeepmyAdultincontrol,Icanpostponetheembarrassment.’

HereWhiteindicatesclearlythatshefearsunstructuredtime.HerChildisprevented from advertising as long as theAdult can be kept busy in a socialsituation, andagameoffers a suitable structure forAdult functioning.But thegamemustbesuitablymotivatedinordertomaintainherinterest.HerchoiceofYDYB is influenced by the principle of economy: it yields the maximuminternalandexternaladvantagestoherChild’sconflictsaboutphysicalpassivity.ShecouldplaywithequalzesteithertheshrewdChildwhocannotbedominatedor the sageParentwho tries to dominate theChild in someone else, but fails.Since the basic principle ofYDYB is that no suggestion is ever accepted, theParent is never successful. Themotto of the game is: ‘Don’t get panicky, theParentneversucceeds.’

Insummary,then:whileeachmoveisamusing,sotospeak,toWhite,andbrings its own little pleasure in rejecting the suggestion, the real payoff is thesilence ormasked silencewhich ensueswhen all the others have racked theirbrainsandgrowntiredoftryingtothinkofacceptablesolutions.ThissignifiestoWhite and to them that she has won by demonstrating it is they who areinadequate.Ifthesilenceisnotmasked,itmaypersistforseveralminutes.Intheparadigm,GreencutWhite’s triumph shortbecauseofher eagerness to start agameofherown,andthatwaswhatkeptherfromparticipatinginWhite’sgame.Later on in the session,White demonstrated her resentment againstGreen forhavingabridgedhermomentofvictory.

Another curious feature ofYDYB is that the external and internal gamesareplayedexactly thesameway,with theroles reversed. In theexternal form,the one observed clinically, White’s Child comes out to play the role of theinadequate help-seeker in a many-handed situation. In the internal form, themore intimate two-handed gameplayed at homewith her husband, her Parentcomes out as the wise, efficient suggestion-giver. This reversal is usuallysecondary,however,sinceduringthecourtshipsheplaysthehelplessChildside,andonlyafterthehoneymoonisoverdoesherbossyParentbegintoemergeintotheopen.Theremayhavebeenslipsastheweddingapproached,butherfiancé

will overlook these in his eagerness to settle down with his carefully chosenbride.Ifhedoesnotoverlookthem,theengagementmaybecalledofffor‘goodreasons’,andWhite,sadderbutnowiser,will resumehersearchforasuitablemate.

Antithesis. It is evident that thosewho respond toWhite’s firstmove, thepresentationofher ‘problem’,areplayinga formof ‘I’mOnlyTrying toHelpYou’ (ITHY). In fact YDYB is the inverse of ITHY. In ITHY there is onetherapist and many clients; in YDYB one client and many ‘therapists’. TheclinicalantithesistoYDYB,therefore,isnottoplayITHY.Iftheopeningisofthe form: ‘Whatdoyoudo if…’ (WYDI), a suggested response is: ‘That is adifficultproblem.Whatare yougoing to do about it?’ If it is of the form: ‘Xdidn’tworkoutproperly’,theresponsethenshouldbe‘Thatistoobad.’Bothofthese are polite enough to leaveWhite at a loss, or at least to elicit a crossedtransaction,sothathisfrustrationbecomesmanifestandcanthenbeexplored.Ina therapy group it is good practice for susceptible patients to refrain fromplaying ITHYwhen invited. Then not onlyWhite, but the other members aswell,canlearnfromanti-YDYB,whichismerelytheothersideofanti-ITHY.

Inasocialsituation,ifthegameisfriendlyandharmless,thereisnoreasonnot to participate. If it is an attempt to exploit professional knowledge, anantitheticalmovemayberequired;butinsuchsituationsthisarousesresentmentbecause of the exposure of White’s Child. The best policy under thosecircumstancesistofleefromtheopeningmoveandlookforastimulatinggameoffirst-degree‘Rapo’.

Relatives. ‘Why Don’t You – Yes But’ must be distinguished from itsobverse,‘WhyDidYou–NoBut’(YDNB),inwhichitistheParentwhowinsandthedefensiveChildwhoeventuallyretiresinconfusion,althoughagainthebaretranscriptmaysoundfactual,rationalandAdulttoAdult.YDNBiscloselyrelatedto‘Furthermore’.

ThereverseofYDYBatfirstresembles‘Peasant’.HereWhiteseducesthetherapistintogivinghersuggestionswhichsheimmediatelyaccepts,ratherthanrejects.OnlyafterheisdeeplyinvolveddoesheperceivethatWhiteisturningonhim.Whatlookedlike‘Peasant’endsupasagameofintellectual‘Rapo’.Theclassical versionof this is the switch frompositive tonegative transference inthecourseoforthodoxpsychoanalysis.

YDYB may also be played in a second-degree hard form as ‘Do MeSomething’.Thepatientrefusestodothehousework,forexample,andthereisagameofYDYBeveryevening,whenthehusbandreturnshome.Butnomatterwhat he says, she sullenly refuses to change her ways. In some cases thesullenness may be malignant and require careful psychiatric evaluation. The

gameaspectmustbeconsideredaswell,however,sinceitraisesthequestionofwhythehusbandselectedsuchaspouse,andhowhecontributestomaintainingthesituation.

ANALYSIS

Thesis:SeeifyoucanpresentasolutionIcan’tfindfaultwith.Aim:Reassurance.Roles:Helplessperson,Advisers.Dynamics:Surrenderconflict(oral).Examples: (1) Yes, but I can’t do my homework now because … (2)

Helplesswife.SocialParadigm:Adult-Adult.Adult:‘Whatdoyoudoif…’Adult:‘Whydon’tyou…’

Adult:‘Yes,but…’PsychologicalParadigm:Parent-Child.Parent:‘Icanmakeyougratefulformyhelp.’Child:‘Goaheadandtry.’

Moves: (1) Problem-Solution. (2) Objection-Solution. (3) Objection-Disconcertion.Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological – reassurance. (2) External

Psychological–avoidssurrender.(3)InternalSocial–YDYB,Parentalrole.(4)External Social – YDYB, Child role. (5) Biological – rational discussion. (6)Existential–Everybodywantstodominateme.

REFERENCES

1.vonChamisso,Adelbert,PeterSchlemiel,Calder,1957.2.deKock,Paul.Oneofthemostpopularworksofthisnineteenth-century

librettistandnovelist isAGood-NaturedFellow,aboutamanwhogivesawaytoomuch.

9·SexualGames

SOMEgamesareplayedtoexploitorfightoffsexualimpulsesTheseareall, ineffect,perversionsof the sexual instincts inwhich the satisfaction isdisplacedfromthesexualacttothecrucialtransactionswhichconstitutethepayoffofthegame. This cannot always be demonstrated convincingly, because such gamesareusuallyplayedinprivacy,sothatclinical informationaboutthemhastobeobtained secondhand, and the informant’s bias cannot always be satisfactorilyevaluated.Thepsychiatricconceptionofhomosexuality,forexample,isheavilyskewed,becausethemoreaggressiveandsuccessful‘players’donotoftencomeforpsychiatrictreatment,andtheavailablematerialmostlyconcernsthepassivepartners.

The games included here are: ‘Let’s You and Him Fight’, ‘Perversion’,‘Rapo’,‘StockingGame’and‘Uproar’.Inmostcasestheagentisawoman.Thisisbecausethehardformsofsexualgamesinwhichthemanistheagentvergeonorconstitutecriminality,andproperlybelongintheUnderworldsection.Ontheotherside,sexualgamesandmaritalgamesoverlap,buttheonesdescribedherearereadilyavailabletounmarriedpeopleaswellastospouses.

1·LET’SYOUANDHIMFIGHT

Thesis. This may be a manoeuvre, a ritual or a game. In each case thepsychologyisessentiallyfeminine.Becauseofitsdramaticqualities,LYAHFisthebasisofmuchoftheworld’sliterature,bothgoodandbad.

1.As amanoeuvre it is romantic. Thewomanmanoeuvres or challengestwomen into fighting,with the implicationor promise that shewill surrenderherself to thewinner.After the competition is decided, she fulfils herbargain.Thisisanhonesttransaction,andthepresumptionisthatsheandhermatelivehappilyeverafter.

2.Asaritual,ittendstobetragic.Customdemandsthatthetwomenfightforher,evenifshedoesnotwantthemto,andevenifshehasalreadymadeherchoice.Ifthewrongmanwins,shemustneverthelesstakehim.Inthiscaseitissociety and not the woman who sets up LYAHF. If she is unwilling, thetransaction is an honest one. If she is unwilling or disappointed, the outcomemayofferherconsiderablescopeforplayinggames,suchas‘Let’sPullAFastOneonJoey’.

3.Asagameitiscomic.Thewomansetsupthecompetition,andwhilethetwo men are fighting, she decamps with a third. The internal and externalpsychologicaladvantagesforherandhermatearederivedfromthepositionthathonestcompetition is forsuckers,and thecomicstory theyhave lived throughformsthebasisfortheinternalandexternalsocialadvantages.

2·PERVERSION

Thesis.Heterosexualperversions suchas fetishism, sadismandmasochismaresymptomaticofaconfusedChildandaretreatedaccordingly.Theirtransactionalaspects,however,asmanifestedinactualsexualsituations,canbedealtwithbymeans of game analysis. This may lead to social control, so that even if thewarpedsexualimpulsesremainunchanged,theyareneutralizedasfarasactualindulgenceisconcerned.

Peoplewhoaresufferingfrommildsadisticormasochisticdistortionstendto take a primitive kind of ‘Mental Health’ position. They feel that they arestronglysexed,andthatprolongedabstinencewillleadtoseriousconsequences.Neither of these conclusions is necessarily true, but they form the basis for agame of ‘WoodenLeg’with the plea: ‘What do you expect from someone asstronglysexedasIam?’

Antithesis.Toextendordinarycourtesytooneselfandone’spartner;thatis,to refrain from verbal or physical flagellation and confine oneself to moreconventional forms of coitus. IfWhite is a true pervert, thiswill lay bare thesecondelementofthegame,whichisoftenclearlyexpressedinhisdreams:thatcoitus itself has little interest for him, and that his real satisfaction is derivedfromthehumiliatingforeplay.Thisissomethingthathemaynothavecaredtoadmit to himself. But it will now become clear to him that his complaint is:‘Afterallthiswork,Ihavetohaveintercourse,yet!’Atthispointthepositionismuchmorefavourableforspecificpsychotherapy,andmuchofthepleadingandevasivenesshasbeennullified.Thisappliestoordinary‘sexualpsychopaths’asseeninpractice,andnottomalignantschizophrenicorcriminalperversions,nortothosewhoconfinetheirsexualactivitiestofantasy.

Thegameof ‘Homosexuality’hasbecomeelaborated into a subculture inmanycountries, justas it isritualizedinothers.Manyof thedisabilitieswhichresult from homosexuality arise frommaking it into a game. The provocativebehaviour which gives rise to ‘Cops and Robbers’, ‘Why Does This AlwaysHappentoUs’,‘It’stheSocietyWeLiveIn’,‘AllGreatMenWere’andsoforth,isoftenamenabletosocialcontrol,whichreducesthehandicapstoaminimum.

The‘professionalhomosexual’wastesalargeamountoftimeandenergywhichcouldbeappliedtootherends.Analysisofhisgamesmayhelphimestablishaquiet ménage which will leave him free to enjoy the benefits that bourgeoissocietyoffers,insteadofdevotinghimselftoplayinghisownvariationof‘Ain’tItAwful’.

3·RAPO

Thesis.This isagameplayedbetweenamanandawomanwhichmightmorepolitelybecalled,inthemilderformsatleast,‘KissOff’or‘Indignation’.Itmaybeplayedwithvaryingdegreesofintensity.

1. First-Degree ‘Rapo’, or ‘KissOff’, is popular at social gatherings andconsistsessentiallyofmildflirtation.Whitesignalsthatsheisavailableandgetsherpleasurefromtheman’spursuit.Assoonashehascommittedhimself, thegame is over. If she is polite, she may say quite frankly ‘I appreciate yourcomplimentsand thankyouverymuch’, andmoveon to thenextconquest. Ifsheislessgenerous,shemaysimplyleavehim.Askilfulplayercanmakethisgame last for a long time at a large social gathering by moving aroundfrequently,sothatthemanhastocarryoutcomplicatedmanoeuvresinordertofollowherwithoutbeingtooobvious.

2. In Second-Degree ‘Rapo’, or ‘Indignation’,White gets only secondarysatisfaction from Black’s advances. Her primary gratification comes fromrejectinghim,sothatthisgameisalsocolloquiallyknownas‘BuzzOff,Buster’.SheleadsBlackintoamuchmoreseriouscommitmentthanthemildflirtationofFirst-Degree ‘Rapo’ and enjoys watching his discomfiture when she repulseshim. Black, of course, is not as helpless as he seems, andmay have gone toconsiderable trouble to get himself involved. Usually he is playing somevariationof‘KickMe’.

3.Third-Degree‘Rapo’isaviciousgamewhichendsinmurder,suicideorthecourtroom.HereWhiteleadsBlackintocompromisingphysicalcontactandthen claims that he has made a criminal assault or has done her irreparabledamage.InitsmostcynicalformWhitemayactuallyallowhimtocompletethesexual act so that she gets that enjoyment before confronting him. Theconfrontationmaybeimmediate,asintheillegitimatecryofrape,oritmaybelongdelayed,asinsuicideorhomicidefollowingaprolongedloveaffair.Ifshechooses to play it as a criminal assault, shemay have no difficulty in findingmercenaryormorbidlyinterestedallies,suchasthepress,thepolice,counsellorsandrelatives.Sometimes,however,theseoutsidersmaycynicallyturnonher,so

thatshelosestheinitiativeandbecomesatoolintheirgames.Insomecasesoutsidersperformadifferentfunction.Theyforcethegame

on an unwillingWhite because theywant to play ‘Let’sYou andHimFight’.Theyputher insuchaposition that inorder tosaveherfaceorherreputationshehastocryrape.Thisisparticularlyapttohappenwithgirlsunderthelegalageofconsent;theymaybequitewillingtocontinuealiaison,butbecauseitisdiscoveredormadeanissueof,theyfeelconstrainedtoturntheromanceintoagameofThird-Degree‘Rapo’.

Inonewell-knownsituation,thewaryJosephrefusedtobeinveigledintoagameof‘Rapo’,whereuponPotiphar’swifemadetheclassicalswitchinto‘Let’sYou andHimFight’, an excellent example of theway a hard player reacts toantithesis,andofthedangersthatbesetpeoplewhorefusetoplaygames.Thesetwo games are combined in the well-known ‘Badger Game’, in which thewoman seduces Black and then cries rape, at which point her husband takeschargeandabusesBlackforpurposesofblackmail.

OneofthemostunfortunateandacuteformsofThird-Degree‘Rapo’occursrelativelyfrequentlybetweenhomosexualstrangers,whoinamatterofanhouror so may bring the game to a point of homicide. The cynical and criminalvariationsofthisgamecontributealargevolumetosensationalnewspapercopy.

Thechildhoodprototypeof‘Rapo’isthesameasthatof‘FrigidWoman’,inwhich the littlegirl induces theboy tohumiliatehimselforgetdirty and thensneersathim,asclassicallydescribedbyMaughaminOfHumanBondageand,asalreadynoted,byDickens inGreatExpectations.This isSecondDegree.Aharder form, approaching Third Degree, may be played in toughneighbourhoods.

Antithesis.Theman’sabilitytoavoidbecominginvolvedinthisgameortokeepitundercontroldependsonhiscapacitytodistinguishgenuineexpressionsoffeelingfrommovesinthegame.Ifheisthusabletoexertsocialcontrol,hemayobtainagreatdealofpleasure fromthemild flirtationsof ‘KissOff’.Onthe other hand it is difficult to conceive of a safe antithesis for thePotiphar’sWifemanoeuvre,otherthancheckingoutbeforeclosingtimewithnoforwardingaddress.In1938thewritermetanageingJosephinAleppowhohadcheckedoutofConstantinoplethirty-twoyearspreviously,afteroneoftheSultan’sladieshadcorneredhimduringabusinessvisittotheYildizharem.Hehadtoabandonhisshop,buttooktimetopickuphishoardofgoldfrancs,andhadneverreturned.

Relatives.Themaleversionsof‘Rapo’arenotoriouslyfoundincommercialsituations: ‘CastingCouch’ (and then shedidn’tget thepart) and ‘CuddleUp’(andthenshegotfired).

ANALYSIS

ThefollowinganalysisreferstoThird-Degree‘Rapo’becausetheretheelementsofthegamearemoredramaticallyillustrated.

Aim:Maliciousrevenge.Roles:Seductress,Wolf.Dynamics (ThirdDegree):Penisenvy,oralviolence. ‘KissOff’ isphallic,

while‘Indignation’hasstronganalelements.Examples:(1)I’lltellonyou,youdirtylittleboy.(2)Wrongedwoman.SocialParadigm:Adult-Adult.Adult(male):‘I’msorryifIwentfurtherthanyouintendedmeto.’Adult(female):‘Youhaveviolatedmeandmustpaythefullpenalty.’

PsychologicalParadigm:Child-Child.Child(male):‘SeehowirresistibleIam.’Child(female):‘NowI’vegotyou,yousonofabitch.’

Moves: (1) Female: seduction; Male: counter-seduction. (2) Female:surrender;Male:victory.(3)Female:confrontation;Male:collapse.Advantages:(1)InternalPsychological–expressionofhatredandprojection

of guilt. (2)External Psychological – avoidance of emotional sexual intimacy.(3) Internal Social – ‘Now I’ve Got You, You Son of a Bitch’. (4) ExternalSocial – ‘Ain’t It Awful’, ‘Courtroom’, ‘Let’s You and Him Fight’. (5)Biological–sexualandbelligerentexchanges.(6)Existential–Iamblameless.

4·THESTOCKINGGAME

Thesis.Thisisagameofthe‘Rapo’family;initthemostobviouscharacteristicistheexhibitionism,whichishystericalinnature.Awomancomesintoastrangegroupandafteraveryshorttimeraisesherleg,exposingherselfinaprovocativeway, and remarks, ‘Ohmy, Ihavea run inmystocking.’This is calculated toarousethemensexuallyandtomaketheotherwomenangry.Anyconfrontationof White is met, of course, with protestations of innocence or counter-accusations, hence the resemblance to classical ‘Rapo’.What is significant isWhite’slackofadaptation.Sheseldomwaitstofindoutwhatkindofpeoplesheis dealing with or how to time her manoeuvre. Hence it stands out asinappropriateandaffectsherrelationshipswithherassociates.Inspiteofsomesuperficial ‘sophistication’, she fails to understandwhat happens to her in life

becauseherjudgementofhumannatureistoocynical.Theaimistoprovethatotherpeoplehave lasciviousminds,andherAdult is connedbyherChildandher Parent (usually a lascivious mother) into ignoring both her ownprovocativenessandthegoodsenseofmanyofthepeopleshemeets.Thusthegametendstobeself-destructive.

Thisisprobablyaphallicvariantofagamewhosecontentdependsontheunderlying disturbance. An ‘oral’ variant may be exhibited by women withdeeperpathologyandwell-developedbreasts.Suchwomenoften sitwith theirhands behind their heads so as to thrust their breasts forward; theymay drawadditional attention to them by remarking about their size or some pathologysuchasanoperationoralump.Sometypesofsquirmingprobablyconstituteananal variant. The implication of this game is that the woman is sexuallyavailable.Thusitmaybeplayedinamoresymbolicformbybereavedwomenwho‘exhibit’theirwidowhoodinsincerely.

Antithesis. Along with the poor adaptation, these women show littletolerance for antithesis. If thegame is ignoredor counteredbya sophisticatedtherapy group, for example, theymay not return.Antithesismust be carefullydistinguishedinthisgamefromreprisal,sincethelattersignifiesthatWhitehaswon.Womenaremoreskilfulatcounter-moves in ‘StockingGame’ thanmen,whoindeedhavelittleincentivetobreakupthisgame.Antithesis, therefore,isbestlefttothediscretionoftheotherwomenpresent.

5·UPROAR

Thesis.Theclassicalgameisplayedbetweendomineeringfathersandteen-agedaughters,wherethereisasexuallyinhibitedmother.Fathercomeshomefromworkand finds faultwithdaughter,whoanswers impudently,ordaughtermaymake the first move by being impudent, whereupon father finds fault. Theirvoicesrise,andtheclashbecomesmoreacute.Theoutcomedependsonwhohastheinitiative.Therearethreepossibilities:(a)fatherretirestohisbedroomandslamsthedoor;(b)daughterretirestoherbedroomandslamsthedoor;(c)bothretiretotheirrespectivebedroomsandslamthedoors.Inanycase,theendofagameof ‘Uproar’ ismarkedby a slammingdoor. ‘Uproar’offers adistressingbuteffectivesolutiontothesexualproblemsthatarisebetweenfathersandteen-agedaughtersincertainhouseholds.Oftentheycanonlyliveinthesamehousetogetherif theyareangryateachother,andtheslammingdoorsemphasizeforeachofthemthefactthattheyhaveseparatebedrooms.

In degenerate households this game may be played in a sinister and

repellentforminwhichfatherwaitsupfordaughterwhenevershegoesoutonadate,andexaminesherandherclothingcarefullyonherreturntomakesurethatshehasnothadintercourse.Theslightestsuspiciouscircumstancemaygiverisetothemostviolentaltercation,whichmayendwiththedaughterbeingexpelledfrom thehouse in themiddle of thenight. In the long runnaturewill take itscourse – if not that night then the next, or the one after. Then the father’ssuspicions are ‘justified’, as hemakes plain to themother, who has stood by‘helplessly’whileallthiswenton.

Ingeneral,however,‘Uproar’maybeplayedbetweenanytwopeoplewhoaretryingtoavoidsexualintimacy.Forexample,itisacommonterminalphaseof‘FrigidWoman’.It isrelativelyrarebetweenteen-ageboysandtheirfemalerelatives,becauseit iseasierfor teen-ageboystoescapefromthehouseintheevening than for othermembers of the family. At an earlier age brothers andsisters can set up effective barriers and partial satisfactions through physicalcombat,apatternwhichhasvariousmotivationsatdifferentages,andwhichinAmerica is a semi-ritualistic form of ‘Uproar’ sanctioned by television,pedagogic and pediatric authorities. In upper-class England it is (or was)considered bad form, and the corresponding energies are channelled into thewell-regulated‘Uproar’oftheplayingfields.

Antithesis.Thegame isnotasdistasteful to the fatherashemight like tothink,anditisgenerallythedaughterwhomakestheantitheticalmovethroughanearly,oftenprematureorforcedmarriage.Ifitispsychologicallypossible,themothercanmaketheantitheticalmovebyrelinquishingherrelativeorabsolutefrigidity.Thegamemaysubsideifthefatherfindsanoutsidesexualinterest,butthat may lead to other complications. In the case of married couples, theantithesesarethesameasfor‘FrigidWoman’or‘FrigidMan’.

Under appropriate circumstances ‘Uproar’ leads quite naturally into‘Courtroom’.

10·UnderworldGames

WITH the infiltration of the ‘helping’ professions into the courts, probationdepartmentsandcorrectionalfacilities,andwiththeincreasingsophisticationofcriminologistsandlawenforcementofficers,thoseconcernedshouldbeawareofthemorecommongamesprevalentintheunderworld,bothinprisonandoutofit.Theseinclude‘CopsandRobbers’,‘HowDoYouGetOutofHere’and‘Let’sPullaFastOneonJoey’.

1·COPSANDROBBERS

Thesis. Because many criminals are cop-haters, they seem to get as muchsatisfactionfromoutwittingthepoliceasfromtheircriminalgains,oftenmore.Theircrimes,attheAdultlevel,aregamesplayedforthematerialrewards,thetake;butattheChildlevelitisthethrillofthechase:thegetawayandthecool-off.

Curiously enough, the childhood prototype of ‘Cops and Robbers’ is notcopsandrobbersbuthide-and-seek,inwhichtheessentialelementisthechagrinat being found. Younger children readily betray this. If father finds them tooeasily,thechagrinistherewithoutmuchfun.Butfather,ifheisagoodplayer,knowswhat todo: heholdsoff,whereupon the little boygiveshima cluebycallingout,droppingsomethingorbanging.Thushe forces father to findhim,butstillshowschagrin;thistimehehashadmorefunbecauseoftheincreasedsuspense. If father gives up, the boy usually feels disappointed rather thanvictorious.Sincethefunofbeinghiddenwasthere,evidentlythatisnotwherethe trouble lies.What he is disappointed about is not being caught.When histurncomestohide,fatherknowsheisnotsupposedtooutwitthelittleboyforvery long, just long enough to make it fun; and he is wise enough to lookchagrined when he is caught. It soon becomes clear that being found is thenecessarypayoff.

Hencehide-and-seek isnotamerepastimebuta truegame.At thesociallevelitisabattleofwits,andismostsatisfyingwhentheAdultofeachplayerdoeshisbest; at thepsychological level, however, it is setup like compulsivegambling,inwhichWhite’sAdulthastoloseinorderforhisChildtowin.Notbeingcaughtisactuallytheantithesis.Amongolderchildren,onewhofindsaninsolublehidingplaceisregardedasnotbeingagoodsport,sincehehasspoiled

thegame.HehaseliminatedtheChildelementandturnedthewholethingintoanAdultprocedure.Heisnolongerplayingforfun.Heisinthesameclassasthe owner of a casino, or some professional criminals,who are really out formoneyratherthansport.

Thereseemtobetwodistinctivetypesofhabitualcriminals:thosewhoareincrimeprimarily forprofit, and thosewhoare in itprimarily for thegame–with a large group in betweenwho canhandle it eitherway.The ‘compulsivewinner’, the bigmoneymakerwhoseChild really does notwant to be caught,rarelyis,accordingtoreports;heisanuntouchable,forwhomthefixisalwaysin. The ‘compulsive loser’, on the other hand, who is playing ‘Cops andRobbers’ (C & R), seldom does very well financially. The exceptions to thisoftenseemtobeduetoluckratherthanskill;inthelongruneventheluckyonesusuallyendupastheirChildrequires,squawkingratherthanridinghigh.

The C & R player, with whom we are concerned here, in some waysresemblestheAlcoholic.HecanshiftrolesfromRobbertoCopandfromCoptoRobber. In some cases hemay play the Parental Cop during the day and theChildRobberafterdark.ThereisaCopinmanyRobbers,andaRobberinmanyCops. If the criminal ‘reforms’, hemay play the role ofRescuer, becoming asocialworkeroramissionworker;buttheRescuerisfarlessimportantinthisgamethanin‘Alcoholic’.Ordinarily,however,theplayer’sroleasRobberishisdestiny,andeachhashisownmodusoperandiforgettingcaught.HemaymakeittoughoreasyfortheCops.

Thesituationissimilarwithgamblers.Atthesocialorsociologicallevela‘professional’gamblerisonewhosechiefinterestinlifeisgambling.Butatthepsychologicalleveltherearetwodifferentkindsofpeoplewhoareprofessionalgamblers.Therearethosewhospendtheirtimegaming,i.e.,playingwithFate,in whom the strength of the Adult’s desire to win is exceeded only by thestrength of the Child’s need to lose. Then there are those who run gamblinghouses and actually do earn a living, usually a very good one, by providingopportunitiesforgamesterstoplay;theythemselvesarenotplaying,andtrytoavoidplaying,althoughoccasionallyundercertainconditions theywill indulgethemselvesandenjoyit,justasastraightcriminalmayoccasionallyplayagameofC&R.

This throws light on why sociological and psychological studies ofcriminals have been generally ambiguous and unproductive: they are dealingwithtwodifferentkindsofpeoplewhocannotbeadequatelydifferentiatedintheordinary theoretical or empirical frameworks. The same is true in studyinggamblers.Transactionalandgameanalysesofferanimmediatesolutionforthis.They remove the ambiguity bydistinguishing transactionally, below the social

level,between‘players’and‘straightprofessionals’.Let us now turn from this general thesis to consider specific examples.

Someburglarsdotheirjobswithoutanywastemotion.The‘CopsandRobbers’burglar leaveshiscallingcardingratuitousactsofvandalism,suchasspoilingvaluable clothing with secretions and excretions. The straight bank robber,accordingtoreports,takeseverypossibleprecautiontoavoidviolence;theC&R bank robber is only looking for an excuse to vent his anger. Like anyprofessional, a straight criminal likes his jobs to be as clean as circumstancespermit.TheC&Rcriminaliscompelledtoblowoffsteaminthecourseofhiswork.Thetrueprofessionalissaidnevertooperateuntilthefixisin;theplayeriswillingtotakeonthelawbarehanded.Straightprofessionalsarewellaware,in their ownway, of the game ofC&R. If a gangmember shows toomuchinterestinthegame,tothepointofjeopardizingthejob,andparticularlyifhisneed tobecaughtbegins toshow, theywill takedrasticmeasures topreventarecurrence.PerhapsitisjustbecausestraightprofessionalsarenotplayingC&R that they are so seldom caught, and hence so rarely studied sociologically,psychologically and psychiatrically; and this also applies to gamblers. Hencemostofour clinicalknowledgeabout criminals andgamblers refers toplayersratherthantostraightprofessionals.

Kleptomaniacs (as opposed to professional shoplifters) are examples ofhowwidelytrivialC&Risplayed.ItisprobablethataverylargepercentageofOccidentals, at least, have played C & R in fantasy, and that is what sellsnewspapersinourhalfoftheworld.Thisfantasyfrequentlyoccursintheformofdreamingupthe‘perfectmurder’,whichisplayingthehardestpossiblegameandcompletelyoutwittingthecops.

VariationsofC&Rare‘AuditorsandRobbers’,playedbyembezzlerswiththe same rules and the same payoff; ‘Customs and Robbers’, played bysmugglers, etc. Of special interest is the criminal variation of ‘Courtroom’.Despite all his precautions, the professionalmay occasionally be arrested andbrought to trial. For him’ Courtroom’ is a procedure, which he carries outaccording to the instructions of his legal advisers. For the lawyers, if they arecompulsivewinners, ‘Courtroom’ isessentiallyagameplayedwith the jury inwhichtheobjectistowin,notlose,andthisisregardedasaconstructivegamebyalargesegmentofsociety.

Antithesis. This is the concern of qualified criminologists rather thanpsychiatrists. The police and judiciary apparatus are not antithetical, but areplayingtheirrolesinthegameundertherulessetupbysociety.

One thing should be emphasized, however. Research workers incriminologymay joke that some criminals behave as though they enjoyed the

chase and wanted to be caught, or they may read the idea and agree in adeferentialway.But they show little tendency to consider such an ‘academic’factor as decisive in their ‘serious’ work. For one thing, there is no way tounmask this element through the standardmethods of psychological research.Theinvestigatormustthereforeeitheroverlookacrucialpointbecausehecannotwork itwithhis research tools,or else changehis tools.The fact is that thosetoolshavesofarnotyieldedonesinglesolutiontoanyproblemincriminology.Researchers might therefore be better off discarding the old methods andtackling the problem freshly. Until C & R is accepted not merely as aninteresting anomaly, but as the very heart of the matter in a significantpercentage of cases, much research in criminology will continue to deal withtrivialities,doctrines,peripheralissuesorirrelevancies.1

ANALYSIS

Thesis:Seeifyoucancatchme.Aim:Reassurance.Roles:Robber,Cop(Judge).Dynamics:Phallicintrusion,e.g.,(1)Hide-and-seek,tag.(2)Crime.

SocialParadigm:Parent-Child.Child:‘Seeifyoucancatchme.’Parent:‘That’smyjob.’

PsychologicalParadigm:Parent-Child.Child:‘Youmustcatchme.’Parent:‘Aha,thereyouare.’

Moves:(1)W:Defiance.B:Indignation.(2)W:Concealment.B:Frustration.(3)W:Provocation.B:Victory.Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological – material indemnification for old

wrong. (2)ExternalPsychological – counterphobic. (3) InternalSocial–See ifyoucancatchme.(4)ExternalSocial–Ialmostgotawaywithit(Pastime:Theyalmostgotawaywithit.)(5)Biological–notoriety.(6)Existential:I’vealwaysbeenaloser.

2·HOWDOYOUGETOUTOFHERE

Thesis. The historical evidence is that those prisoners survive best who havetheir timestructuredbyanactivity,pastimeoragame.This isapparentlywellknowntopoliticalpolice,whoaresaidtobreaksomeprisonersdownsimplybykeepingtheminactiveandinastateofsocialdeprivation.

Thefavouredactivityofsolitaryprisonersisreadingorwritingbooks,andthefavouredpastime isescape,someofwhosepractitioners,suchasCasanovaandBaronTrenck,havebecomefamous.

Thefavouredgameis‘HowDoYouGetOutofHere?’(‘WantOut’),whichmayalsobeplayedinstatehospitals.Itmustbedistinguishedfromtheoperation(seepage44)of thesamename,knownas ‘GoodBehaviour’.An inmatewhoreallywantstobefreewillfindouthowtocomplywiththeauthoritiessoastobe released at the earliest possible moment. Nowadays this may often beaccomplishedbyplayingagoodgameof‘Psychiatry’,GroupTherapyType.Thegameof‘WantOut’,however,isplayedbyinmatesorbypatientswhoseChild

doesnot want to get out. They simulate ‘GoodBehaviour’, but at the criticalpoint they sabotage themselves so as not to be released. Thus in ‘GoodBehaviour’ Parent, Adult and Childwork together to be discharged; in ‘WantOut’ Parent and Adult go through the prescribed motions until the criticalmoment,whentheChild,whoisactuallyfrightenedattheprospectofventuringinto the uncertain world, takes over and spoils the effect. ‘Want Out’ wascommon in the late 1930s among recently arrived immigrants fromGermanywho became psychotic. They would improve and beg for release from thehospital;butasthedayofliberationapproached,theirpsychoticmanifestationswouldrecur.

Antithesis.Both‘GoodBehaviour’and‘WantOut’arerecognizedbyalertadministratorsandcanbedealtwithat theexecutive level.Beginners ingrouptherapy,however,areoftentakenin.Acompetentgrouptherapist,knowingtheseare themost frequentmanipulations inpsychiatricallyorientedprisons,willbewatching for them and will ferret them out at an early phase. Since ‘GoodBehaviour’isanhonestoperation,itmaybetreatedassuch,andthereisnoharmindiscussingitopenly.‘WantOut’,ontheotherhand,requiresactivetherapyifthefrightenedinmateistoberehabilitated.

Relatives.Acloserelativeof‘WantOut’isanoperationcalled‘You’veGotto Listen’. Here the inmate of an institution or the client of a social agencydemandstherighttomakecomplaints.Thecomplaintsareoftenirrelevant.Hismainpurposeistoassurehimselfthathewillbelistenedtobytheauthorities.Iftheymakethemistakeofthinkingthatheexpectsthecomplaintstobeactedonandcuthimoff as toodemanding, theremaybe trouble. If theyaccede tohisdemands,hewillincreasethem.Iftheymerelylistenpatientlyandwithsignsofinterest,the‘You’veGottoListen’playerwillbesatisfiedandcooperative,andwill not ask for anything more. The administrator must learn to distinguish‘You’veGottoListen’fromseriousdemandsforremedialaction.2

‘BumRap’isanothergamethatbelongsinthisfamily.Astraightcriminalmayholler‘BumRap’inarealeffort togetout, inwhichcaseit ispartoftheprocedure.Theinmatewhoplays‘BumRap’asagame,however,doesnotuseiteffectively to try to get out, since if he gets out hewill no longer havemuchexcusetoholler.

3·LET’SPULLAFASTONEONJOEY

Thesis.Theprototypeof thisgameis‘TheBigStore’, thebig-timeconfidencegame,butmanysmallgriftsandeventhebadgergameareFOOJY.Nomancan

bebeatenatFOOJYunlesshehaslarcenyinhisveins,becausethefirstmoveisforBlacktotellWhitethatdumb-honest-old-Joeyisjustwaitingtobetaken.IfWhitewere completely honest, hewould either back off orwarn Joey, but hedoesn’t.JustasJoeyisabouttopayoff,somethinggoeswrong,andWhitefindsthathis investment isgone.Or in thebadgergame, justasJoey isabout tobecuckolded,hehappenstowalkin.ThenWhite,whowasplayinghisownrulesinhisownhonestway,findsthathehastoplayJoey’srules,andtheyhurt.

Curiouslyenough, themark issupposed toknowtherulesofFOOJYandstick to them.Honestsquawking isacalculatedriskof theconmob; theywillnotholdthatagainstWhite,andheisevenallowedacertainlatitudeinlyingtothepolice to savehis face.But if hegoes too far and accuses them falselyofburglary, for example, that is cheating, and they resent it. On the other hand,thereislittlesympathyforaconmanwhogetsintotroublebyworkingamarkwhoisdrunk,sincethisisimproperprocedure,andheshouldknowbetter.Thesameappliesifheisstupidenoughtopickamarkwithasenseofhumour,sinceit iswellknownthatsuchpeoplecannotbe trusted toplay thestraightman inFOOJY all the way down the line through the terminal game of ‘Cops andRobbers’.Experiencedconmenarescaredofmarkswholaughaftertheyhavebeentaken.

ItshouldbenotedthatapracticaljokeisnotagameofFOOJY,becauseinapracticaljokeJoeyistheonewhosuffers,whileinFOOJYJoeycomesoutontop, and White is the one who suffers. A practical joke is a pastime, whileFOOJYisagameinwhichthejokeisarrangedtobackfire.

It is evident that FOOJY is a three-or four-handed game,with the policeplayingthefourthhand,andthatitisrelatedto‘Let’sYouandHimFight’.

NOTE

Thanks are due to Dr Franklin Ernst of the California Medical Faculty atVacavilie,MrWilliamCollinsoftheCaliforniaRehabilitationCenteratNorco,andMrLaurenceMeansoftheCaliforniaInstitutionforMenatTehachapi,fortheircontinuedinterestinstudyingthegameof‘CopsandRobbers’andfortheirhelpfuldiscussionsandcriticisms.

REFERENCES

1. Frederick Wiseman, in ‘Psychiatry and the Law: Use and Abuse ofPsychiatry in aMurder Case’ (American Journal of Psychiatry, 118:289–299,1961)givesaclearandtragicexampleofahardformof‘CopsandRobbers’.Itconcerns a 23-year-old-man who shot his fiancée and then turned himself in.Thiswasnoteasytoarrange,sincethepolicedidnotbelievehisstoryuntilhehadrepeateditfourtimes.Later,hesaid:‘ItjustseemedtomethatallmylifeIwasboundtoendupinthechair.Ifthatwasthewayitwas,thatwasthewayitwouldbe.’Theauthorsaysitwasfarcicaltoexpectalayjurytounderstandthecomplexpsychiatrictestimonythatwasofferedatthetrialintechnicaljargon.Ingame terms, the central issue can be stated in words of no more than twosyllables: A nine-year-old boy decides (for reasons clearly brought out at thetrial)thatheisboundtoendupinthechair.Hespendstherestofhislifeheadedtowardthisgoal,andusinghisgirlfriendasatarget,intheendhesetshimselfup.

2.Forfurtherinformationabout‘CopsandRobbers’andgamesplayedbyprisoninmates,see:Ernst,F.H.,andKeating,W.C.,‘PsychiatricTreatmentoftheCaliforniaFelon’,AmericanJournalofPsychiatry,120:974–979,1964.

11·ConsultingRoomGames

GAMES that are tenaciously played in the therapeutic situation are the mostimportant ones for the professional game analyst to be aware of.They canbemost readily studied first hand in the consulting room. There are three types,according to the role of the agent: 1. Games played by therapists and caseworkers:‘I’mOnlyTryingtoHelpYou’and‘Psychiatry’.

2. Games played by professionally trained people who are patients intherapygroups,suchas‘Greenhouse’.

3.Gamesplayedbylaypatientsandclients:‘Indigent’,‘Peasant’,‘Stupid’and‘WoodenLeg’.

1·GREENHOUSE

Thesis. This is a variation of ‘Psychiatry’, which is played hardest by youngsocial scientists, such as clinical psychologists. In the company of theircolleaguestheseyoungpeopletendtoplay‘Psychoanalysis’,oftenina jocularway,usingsuchexpressionsas‘Yourhostilityisshowing’or‘Howmechanicalcan a defence mechanism get ?’ This is usually a harmless and enjoyablepastime; it is a normal phase of their learning experience, and with a feworiginalsinthegroupitcanbecomequiteamusing.(Thiswriter’spreferenceis,‘I seeNational ParapraxisWeek is here again.’)As patients in psychotherapygroups some of these people are apt to indulge in this mutual critique moreseriously;butsinceitisnothighlyproductiveinthatsituation,itmayhavetobeheaded off by the therapist. The proceedings may then turn into a game of‘Greenhouse’.

There is a strong tendency for recent graduates to have an exaggeratedrespectforwhattheycall‘GenuineFeelings’.Theexpressionofsuchafeelingmay be preceded by an announcement that it is on its way. After theannouncement,thefeelingisdescribed,orratherpresentedbeforethegroup,asthoughitwerearareflowerwhichshouldberegardedwithawe.Thereactionsof the othermembers are received very solemnly, and they take on the air ofconnoisseurs at a botanical garden.Theproblem seems tobe, in the jargonofgameanalysis,whetherthisoneisgoodenoughtobeexhibitedintheNationalFeeling Show. A questioning intervention by the therapist may be stronglyresented, as though he were some clumsy-fingered clod mauling the fragile

petalsofanexoticcenturyplant.The therapist,naturally, feels that inorder tounderstand the anatomy and physiology of a flower, it may be necessary todissectit.

Antithesis.The antithesis,which is crucial for therapeutic progress, is theironyoftheabovedescription.Ifthisgameisallowedtoproceed,itmaygoonunchanged for years, after which the patient may feel that he has had a‘therapeuticexperience’duringwhichhehas‘expressedhostility’andlearnedto‘face feelings’ in a way which gives him an advantage over less fortunatecolleagues.Meanwhilevery littleofdynamicsignificancemayhavehappened,andcertainlytheinvestmentoftimehasnotbeenusedtomaximumtherapeuticadvantage.

The irony in the initial description is directednot against thepatientsbutagainst their teachers and the cultural milieu which encourages such over-fastidiousness. If properly timed, a sceptical remarkmay successfully divorcethem from foppish Parental influences and lead to a less self-consciousrobustnessintheirtransactionswitheachother.Insteadofcultivatingfeelingsina kind of hothouse atmosphere, they may just let them grow naturally, to bepluckedwhentheyareripe.

The most obvious advantage of this game is the external psychological,since it avoids intimacy by setting up special conditions underwhich feelingsmaybeexpressed,andspecialrestrictionsontheresponsesofthosepresent.

2·I’MONLYTRYINGTOHELPYOU

Thesis. This game may be played in any professional situation and is notconfined to psychotherapists and welfare workers. However, it is found mostcommonlyandinitsmostfloridformamongsocialworkerswithacertaintypeoftraining.Theanalysisofthisgamewasclarifiedforthewriterundercuriouscircumstances.Alltheplayersatapokergamehadfoldedexcepttwo,aresearchpsychologist and a businessman.The businessman,who had a high hand, bet;the psychologist,whohad an unbeatable one, raised.The businessman lookedpuzzled,whereuponthepsychologistremarkedfacetiously:‘Don’tbeupset,I’monlytryingtohelpyou!’Thebusinessmanhesitated,andfinallyputinhischips.Thepsychologistshowedthewinninghand,whereupontheotherthrewdownhiscardsindisgust.Theotherspresentthenfeltfreetolaughatthepsychologist’sjoke,andtheloserremarkedruefully:‘Yousurewerehelpful!’Thepsychologistcastaknowingglanceatthewriter,implyingthatthejokehadreallybeenmadeat the expense of the psychiatric profession. It was at that moment that the

structureofthisgamebecameclear.The worker or therapist, of whatever profession, gives some advice to a

clientorpatient.Thepatientreturnsandreportsthatthesuggestiondidnothavethe desired effect. The worker shrugs off this failure with a feeling ofresignation,andtriesagain.Ifheismorewatchful,hemaydetectatthispointatwingeoffrustration,buthewilltryagainanyway.Usuallyhefeelslittleneedtoquestionhisownmotives,becauseheknowsthatmanyofhissimilarlytrainedcolleagues do the same thing, and that he is following the ‘correct’ procedureandwillreceivefullsupportfromhissupervisors.

If he runsup against a hardplayer, such as a hostile obsessional, hewillfinditmoreandmoredifficulttoavoidfeelinginadequate.Thenheisintrouble,and the situation will slowly deteriorate. In the worst case, he may come upagainstanangryparanoidwhowillrushinonedayinarage,crying:‘Lookwhatyou made me do!’ Then his frustration will come strongly to the fore in thespoken or unspoken thought: ‘But I was only trying to help you!’ Hisbewildermentattheingratitudemaycausehimconsiderablesuffering,indicatingthe complexmotives underlying his own behaviour. This bewilderment is thepayoff.

Legitimatehelpersshouldnotbeconfusedwithpeoplewhoplay‘I’mOnlyTrying toHelpYou’ (ITHY). ‘I thinkwecando something about it’, ‘I knowwhattodo’,‘Iwasassignedtohelpyou’or‘Myfeeforhelpingyouwillbe..’aredifferent from ‘I’m only trying to help you’. The first four, in good faith,represent Adult offers to put professional qualifications at the disposal of thedistressedpatientorclient;ITHYhasanulteriormotivewhichismoreimportantthanprofessionalskillindeterminingtheoutcome.Thismotiveisbasedonthepositionthatpeopleareungratefulanddisappointing.Theprospectofsuccessisalarming to the Parent of the professional and is an invitation to sabotage,because success would threaten the position. The ITHY player needs to bereassuredthathelpwillnotbeacceptednomatterhowstrenuouslyitisoffered.Theclientrespondswith‘LookHowHardI’mTrying’or‘There’sNothingYouCanDo toHelpMe’.More flexibleplayerscancompromise: it isall right forpeople to accept help providing it takes them a long time to do so. Hencetherapiststendtofeelapologeticforaquickresult,sincetheyknowthatsomeoftheircolleaguesatstaffmeetingswillbecritical.AttheoppositepolefromhardITHYplayers,suchasare foundamongsocialworkers,aregood lawyerswhohelp their clients without personal involvement or sentimentality. Herecraftsmanshiptakestheplaceofcovertstrenuousness.

Some schools of social work seem to be primarily academies for thetrainingof professional ITHYplayers, and it is not easy for their graduates to

desist from playing it. An example which may help to illustrate some of theforegoing pointswill be found in the description of the complementary game‘Indigence’.

ITHY and its variants are easy to find in everyday life. It is played byfamily friends and relatives (e.g., ‘I CanGet It For YouWholesale’), and byadultswhodocommunityworkwithchildren. It isa favouriteamongparents,andthecomplementarygameplayedbytheoffspringisusually‘LookWhatYouMadeMeDo’.Sociallyitmaybeavariantof‘Schlemiel’inwhichthedamageisdonewhilebeinghelpfulratherthanimpulsively;heretheclientisrepresentedbyavictimwhomaybeplaying‘WhyDoesThisAlwaysHappenToMe?’oroneofitsvariants.

Antithesis.Thereareseveraldevicesavailablefortheprofessionaltohandleaninvitationtoplaythisgame,andhisselectionwilldependonthestateoftherelationshipbetweenhimselfand thepatient,particularlyon theattitudeof thepatient’sChild.

1.Theclassicalpsychoanalyticantithesisisthemostthoroughgoingandthemost difficult for the patient to tolerate. The invitation is completely ignored.The patient then tries harder and harder. Eventually he falls into a state ofdespair,manifestedbyangerordepression,whichisthecharacteristicsignthatagamehasbeenfrustrated.Thissituationmayleadtoausefulconfrontation.

2.Amoregentle(butnotprim)confrontationmaybeattemptedonthefirstinvitation. The therapist states that he is the patient’s therapist and not hismanager.

3.Anevenmoregentleprocedureistointroducethepatientintoatherapygroup,andlettheotherpatientshandleit.

4. With an acutely disturbed patient it may be necessary to play alongduringtheinitialphase.Thesepatientsshouldbetreatedbyapsychiatrist,whobeingamedicalman,canprescribebothmedicationsandsomeofthehygienicmeasures which are still valuable, even in this day of tranquillizers, in thetreatmentofsuchpeople.Ifthephysicianprescribesahygienicregimen,whichmay include baths, exercise, rest periods, and regular meals along withmedication,thepatient(1)carriesouttheregimenandfeelsbetter(2)carriesoutthe regimen scrupulously and complains that it does not help; (3) mentionscasuallythatheforgottocarryouttheinstructionsorthathehasabandonedtheregimenbecause itwasnot doing anygood. In the second and third case it isthen up to the psychiatrist to decidewhether the patient is amenable to gameanalysis at that point, orwhether someother formof treatment is indicated topreparehimfor laterpsychotherapy.The relationshipbetween theadequacyoftheregimenandthepatient’stendencytoplaygameswithitshouldbecarefully

evaluatedbythepsychiatristbeforehedecideshowtoproceednext.Forthepatient,ontheotherhand,theantithesisis,‘Don’ttellmewhatto

dotohelpmyself,I’lltellyouwhattodotohelpme.’IfthetherapistisknowntobeaSchlemiel, thecorrect antithesis for thepatient touse is, ‘Don’thelpme,helphim.’But seriousplayersof ‘I’mOnlyTrying toHelpYou’aregenerallylacking in a sense of humour. Antitheticalmoves on the part of a patient areusuallyunfavourablyreceived,andmayresultinthetherapist’slifelongenmity.In everyday life suchmoves should not be initiated unless one is prepared tocarrythemthroughruthlesslyandtaketheconsequences.Forexample,spurninga relative who ‘Can Get It For You Wholesale’ may cause serious domesticcomplications.

ANALYSIS

Thesis:NobodyeverdoeswhatItellthem.Aim:Alleviationofguilt.Roles:Helper,Client.Dynamics:Masochism.Examples: (1)Children learning,parent intervenes. (2)Socialworkerand

client.SocialParadigm:Parent-Child.Child:‘WhatdoIdonow?’Parent:‘Here’swhatyoudo.’

PsychologicalParadigm:Parent-Child.Parent:‘SeehowadequateIam.’Child:‘I’llmakeyoufeelinadequate.’

Moves: (1) Instructions requested – Instructions given. (2) Procedurebungled – Reproof. (3) Demonstration that procedures are faulty – Implicitapology.

Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological – martyrdom. (2) ExternalPsychological – avoids facing inadequacies. (3) Internal Social – ‘PTA’,ProjectiveType;ingratitude.(4)ExternalSocial–‘Psychiatry’,ProjectiveType.(5)Biological–slappingfromclient,strokingfromsupervisors.(6)Existential–Allpeopleareungrateful.

3·INDIGENCE

Thesis.ThethesisofthisgameisbeststatedbyHenryMillerinTheColossusofMaroussi:‘TheeventmusthavetakenplaceduringtheyearwhenIwaslookingfor a job without the slightest intention of taking one. It reminded me that,desperateasIthoughtmyselftobe,Ihadnotevenbotheredtolookthroughthecolumnsofthewantads.’

This game is one of the complements of ‘I’mOnlyTrying toHelpYou’(ITHY)asitisplayedbysocialworkerswhoearntheirlivingbyit.‘Indigence’isplayedjustasprofessionallybytheclientwhoearnshislivinginthismanner.The writer’s own experience with ‘Indigence’ is limited, but the followingaccountbyoneofhismostaccomplished students illustrates thenatureof thisgameanditsplaceinoursociety.

Miss Black was a social worker in a welfare agency whose avowedpurpose, for which it received a government subsidy, was the economicrehabilitationofindigents–whichineffectmeantgettingthemtofindandretaingainful employment. The clients of this agency were continually ‘makingprogress’, according to official reports, but very few of them were actually‘rehabilitated’.Thiswasunderstandable, itwasclaimed,becausemostof themhad been welfare clients for several years, going from agency to agency andsometimes being involved with five or six agencies at a time, so that it wasevidentthattheywere‘difficultcases’.

MissBlack,fromhertrainingingameanalysis,soonrealizedthatthestaffofheragencywasplayingaconsistentgameofITHY,andwonderedhowtheclientswererespondingtothis.Inordertocheck,sheaskedherownclientsfromweek toweekhowmany jobopportunities theyhad actually investigated.Shewasinterestedtodiscover thatalthoughtheyweretheoreticallysupposedtobelookingassiduouslyforworkfromdaytoday,actually theydevotedverylittleeffort to this, and sometimes the token efforts they did make had an ironicquality.Forexample,onemansaidthatheansweredatleastoneadvertisementadaylookingforwork.‘Whatkindofwork?’sheinquired.Hesaidhewantedtogointosaleswork.‘Isthattheonlykindofadyouanswer?’sheasked.Hesaidthatitwas,butitwastoobadthathewasastutterer,asthatheldhimbackfromhischosencareer.Aboutthistimeitcametotheattentionofhersupervisorthatshe was asking these questions, and she was reprimanded for putting ‘unduepressure’onherclients.

MissBlackdecidedneverthelesstogoaheadandrehabilitatesomeofthem.Sheselectedthosewhowereable-bodiedanddidnotseemtohaveavalidreasontocontinue to receivewelfare funds.With this selectedgroup, she talkedoverthegamesITHYand‘Indigence’.Whentheywerewillingtoconcedethepoint,shesaidthatunlesstheyfoundjobsshewasgoingtocutthemofffromwelfarefunds and refer them to a different kind of agency. Several of them almostimmediatelyfoundemployment,someforthefirsttimeinyears.Buttheywereindignant at her attitude, and some of them wrote letters to her supervisorcomplaining about it. The supervisor called her in and reprimanded her evenmoreseverelyonthegroundthatalthoughherformerclientswereworking,theywere not ‘really rehabilitated’. The supervisor indicated that there was somequestionwhether theywould retainMissBlack in the agency.MissBlack, asmuch as she daredwithout further jeopardizing her position, tactfully tried toelicitwhatwould constitute ‘really rehabilitated’ in the agency’sopinion.Thiswas not clarified. Shewas only told that shewas ‘putting undue pressure’ onpeople,andthefactthattheyweresupportingtheirfamiliesforthefirsttimein

yearswasinnowaytohercredit.Becausesheneededherjobandwasnowindangeroflosingit,someofher

friends tried to help. The respected head of a psychiatric clinic wrote to thesupervisor, stating that he had heard Miss Black had done some particularlyeffectiveworkwithwelfare clients, and askingwhether shemight discuss herfindingsatastaffconferenceathisclinic.Thesupervisorrefusedpermission.

Inthiscasetherulesof‘Indigent’weresetupbytheagencytocomplementthelocalrulesofITHY.Therewasatacitagreementbetweentheworkerandtheclientwhich read as follows:W. ‘I’ll try tohelpyou (providingyoudon’t getbetter).’

C.‘I’lllookforemployment(providingIdon’thavetofindany).

If a clientbroke the agreementbygettingbetter, the agency lost a client,andtheclientlosthiswelfarebenefits,andbothfeltpenalized.IfaworkerlikeMiss Black broke the agreement bymaking the client actually findwork, theagency was penalized by the client’s complaints, which might come to theattentionofhigherauthorities,whileagaintheclientlosthiswelfarebenefits.

Aslongasbothobeyedtheimplicitrules,bothgotwhattheywanted.Theclientreceivedhisbenefitsandsoonlearnedwhattheagencywantedinreturn:anopportunityto‘reachout’(aspartofITHY)plus‘clinicalmaterial’(topresentat ‘client-centred’staffconferences).Theclientwasglad tocomplywith thesedemands,whichgavehimasmuchpleasureasitdidtheagency.Thustheygotalongwell together, and neither felt any desire to terminate such a satisfyingrelationship.Miss Black, in effect, ‘reached in’ instead of ‘reaching out’, andproposed a ‘community-centred’ staff conference instead of a ‘client-centred’one;andthisdisturbedalltheothersconcernedinspiteofthefactthatshewasthusonlycomplyingwiththestatedintentoftheregulations.

Twothingsshouldbenotedhere.First,‘Indigence’asagameratherthanacondition due to physical,mental, or economic disability, is played by only alimitedpercentageofwelfareclients.Second,itwillonlybesupportedbysocialworkers who are trained to play ITHY. It will not be well-tolerated by otherworkers.

Allied games are ‘Veteran’ and ‘Clinic’. ‘Veteran’ displays the samesymbiotic relationship, this time between the Veterans Administration, alliedorganizations, and a certain number of ‘professional veterans’ who share thelegitimate privileges of disabled ex-servicemen. ‘Clinic’ is playedby a certainpercentage of thosewho attend the out-patient departments of large hospitals.Unlikethosewhoplay‘Indigent’or‘Veteran’,patientswhoplay‘Clinic’donotreceive financial remuneration, but get other advantages. They serve a useful

social purpose, since they are willing to cooperate in the training of medicalpersonnel and in studies of disease processes. From this they may get alegitimate Adult satisfaction not available to players of ‘Indigence’ and‘Veteran’.

Antithesis. Antithesis, if indicated, consists in withholding the benefits.Here therisk isnotprimarilyfromtheplayerhimself,as inmostothergames,butfromthisgamebeingculturallysyntonicandfosteredbythecomplementaryITHYplayers.The threat comes fromprofessional colleagues and the arousedpublic, government agencies and protective unions. The complaints whichfollowanexhibitionofanti-‘Indigence’mayleadtoaloudoutcryof‘Yes,Yes,HowAboutThat?’whichmayberegardedasahealthy,constructiveoperationorpastime, even if it occasionally discourages candidness. In fact, the wholeAmerican political system of democratic freedoms is based on a licence (notavailableundermanyotherformsofgovernment)toaskthatquestion.Withoutsuchalicence,humanitariansocialprogressbecomesseriouslyimpeded.

4·PEASANT

Thesis. The prototype peasant is the arthritic Bulgarian villagerwho sells heronly cow to raise money to go to the university clinic in Sofia. There theprofessorexaminesherandfindshercasesointerestingthathepresentsherinaclinical demonstration to the medical students. He outlines not only thepathology,symptomsanddiagnosis,butalsothetreatment.Thisprocedurefillsher with awe. Before she leaves, the professor gives her a prescription andexplains the treatment inmore detail She is overcomewith admiration for hislearning and says the Bulgarian equivalent of, ‘Gee, you’re wonderful,Professor!’ However, she never has the prescription filled. First, there is noapothecaryinhervillage;second,eveniftherewere,shewouldneverletsuchavaluable piece of paper out of her hands.Nor does she have the facilities forcarryingouttherestofthetreatment,suchasdiet,hydrotherapyandsoon.Sheliveson,crippledasbefore,buthappynowbecauseshecantelleveryoneaboutthewonderful treatment prescribed for her by the great professor in Sofia, towhomsheexpresseshergratitudeeverynightinherprayers.

Years later, the Professor, in an unhappy frame ofmind, happens to passthrough the village on his way to see a wealthy but demanding patient. Heremembersthepeasantwhensherushesouttokisshishandandremindhimofthe marvellous regimen he put her on so long ago. He accepts her homagegraciously,and isparticularlygratifiedwhenshe tellshimhowmuchgoodthe

treatmenthasdone.Infactheissocarriedawaythathefailstonoticethatshelimpsasbadlyasever.

Socially‘Peasant’isplayedinaninnocentandadissembledform,bothwiththemotto, ‘Geeyou’rewonderful,MrMurgatroyd!’ (GYWM). In the innocentform,Murgatroydiswonderful.Heisacelebratedpoet,painter,philanthropistorscientist, andnaïveyoungwomen frequently travel a longway in thehopeofmeeting him so that they can sit adoringly at his feet and romanticize hisimperfections.Amoresophisticatedwomanwhosetsoutdeliberatelytohaveanaffair or a marriage with such a man, whom she sincerely admires andappreciates,maybefullyawareofhisweaknesses.Shemayevenexploittheminordertogetwhatshewants.Withthesetwotypesofwomen,thegamearisesfrom the romanticizingorexploitingof the imperfections,while the innocencelies in their genuine respect for his accomplishments, which they are able toevaluatecorrectly.

Inthedissembledform,Murgatroydmayormaynotbewonderful,buthecomesupagainst awoman incapableof appreciatinghim in thebest sense, inanycase;perhaps she is ahigh-classprostitute.Sheplays ‘LittleOldMe’andusesGYWMassheer flattery toattainherownends.Underneathshe iseitherbewilderedbyhimorlaughingathim.Butshedoesnotcareabouthim;whatshewantsaretheperquisitesthatgowithhim.

Clinically ‘Peasant’ is played in two similar forms,with themotto, ‘Geeyou’re wonderful, Professor!’ (GYWP). In the innocent form the patient maystaywellaslongasshecanbelieveinGYWP,whichplacesanobligationonthetherapisttobewell-behavedbothinpublicandinprivatelife.Inthedissembledform the patient hopes the therapistwill go alongwith herGYWP and think:‘You’reuncommonlyperceptive.’(YUP).Onceshehashiminthisposition,shecanmakehimlookfoolishandthenmoveontoanothertherapist;ifhecannotbesoeasilybeguiled,hemayactuallybeabletohelpher.

ThesimplestwayforthepatienttowinGYWPisnottogetbetter.Ifsheismoremalicious, shemay takemore positive steps tomake the therapist lookfoolish.OnewomanplayedGYWPwithherpsychiatristwithoutanyalleviationsof symptoms; she finally left himwithmany salaams and apologies.She thenwenttoherreveredclergymanforhelpandplayedGYWPwithhim.Afterafewweekssheseducedhimintoagameofseconddegree‘Rapo’.Shethentoldherneighbourconfidentiallyoverthebackfencehowdisappointedshewasthatsofine aman asRevBlack could, in amoment ofweakness,make a pass at aninnocent and unattractive woman like herself. Knowing his wife, she couldforgive him, of course, but nevertheless, etc. This confidence just slipped outinadvertently, and it was only afterwards that she remembered ‘to her horror’

thattheneighbourwasanelderinthechurch.Withherpsychiatristshewonbynotgettingbetter;withherclergymanshewonby seducinghim,althoughshewasreluctant toadmit it.Butasecondpsychiatrist introducedher toa therapygroupwhereshecouldnotmanoeuvreasshehadbefore.Then,withnoGYWPand YUP to fill in her therapeutic time, she began to examine her behaviourmorecloselyandwiththehelpofthegroupwasabletogiveupbothhergames–GYWPand‘Rapo’.

Antithesis. The therapist must first decide whether the game is playedinnocentlyandhenceshouldbeallowedtocontinueforthebenefitofthepatientuntilherAdultissufficientlywell-establishedtoriskcountermeasures.Ifitisnotinnocent,thecountermeasuresmaybetakenatthefirstappropriateopportunityafter thepatienthasbeensufficientlywellpreparedso that shewillbeable tounderstandwhathappens.The therapist thensteadfastlyrefuses togiveadvice,andwhenthepatientbeginstoprotest,hemakesitclearthatthisisnotmerely‘Poker-FacedPsychiatry’butawell-thought-outpolicy. Indue timehis refusalmay either enrage the patient or precipitate acute anxiety symptoms.Thenextstepdependsonthemalignancyofthepatient’scondition.Ifsheistooupset,heracute reactions should be dealt with by appropriate psychiatric or analyticprocedures to re-establish the therapeutic situation. The first goal, in thedissembledform,istosplitofftheAdultfromthehypocriticalChildsothatthegamecanbeanalysed.

Insocialsituations, intimateentanglementswith innocentGYWMplayersshouldbeavoided,asanyintelligentactor’sagentwillimpressuponhisclients.On the other hand, women who play dissembled GYWM are sometimesinterestingand intelligent if theycanbede-GYWMed,andmay turnout tobequiteadelightfuladditiontothefamilysocialcircle.

5·PSYCHIATRY

Thesis.Psychiatryasaproceduremustbedistinguished from‘Psychiatry’asagame.Accordingtotheavailableevidence,presentedinproperclinicalforminscientificpublications, thefollowingapproaches,amongothers,areofvalueintreatingpsychiatricconditions: shock therapy,hypnosis,drugs,psychoanalysis,orthopsychiatry and group therapy.There are otherswhich are less commonlyusedandwillnotbediscussedhere.Anyof thesecanbeused in thegameof‘Psychiatry’, which is based on the position ‘I am a healer’, supported by adiploma:‘ItsayshereIamahealer’. Itwillbenotedthat inanycasethis isaconstructive,benevolentposition,andthatpeoplewhoplay‘Psychiatry’candoa

greatdealofgood,providingtheyareprofessionallytrained.It is likely,however, that therewill be somegain in therapeutic results if

therapeuticardourismoderated.TheantithesiswasbestexpressedlongagobyAmbroise Paré,who said in effect: ‘I treat them, butGod cures them.’ Everymedicalstudentlearnsaboutthisdictum,alongwithotherssuchasprimumnonnocere, and phrases such as vis medicatrix naturae. Nonmedical therapists,however,arenotsolikelytobeexposedtotheseancientcautions.Theposition‘I am a healer because it says here that I am a healer’ is likely to be animpairment,andmaybereplacedtoadvantagewithsomethinglike:‘IwillapplywhattherapeuticproceduresIhavelearnedinthehopethattheywillbeofsomebenefit.’Thisavoidsthepossibilityofgamesbasedon:‘SinceIamahealer,ifyou don’t get better it’s your fault’ (e.g., ‘I’mOnlyTryingToHelpYou’), or‘Since you’re a healer, I’ll get better for you’ (e.g., ‘Peasant’). All of this, ofcourse, is known in principle to every conscientious therapist.Certainly everytherapist who has ever presented a case at a reputable clinic has been madeawareof it.Conversely, agoodclinicmaybedefinedasonewhichmakes itstherapistsawareofthesethings.

On the other side, the game of ‘Psychiatry’ is more apt to crop up withpatientswhohavepreviouslybeen treatedby lesscompetent therapists.A fewpatients,forexample,carefullypickweakpsychoanalysts,movingfromonetoanother,demonstratingthattheycannotbecuredandmeanwhilelearningtoplayasharperandsharpergameof ‘Psychiatry’;eventually itbecomesdifficult foreven a first-rate clinician to separate the wheat from the chaff. The duplextransactiononthepatient’ssideis:Adult:‘Iamcomingtobecured.’

Child: ‘You will never cure me, but you will teach me to be a betterneurotic(playabettergameof“Psychiatry”).’

‘MentalHealth’isplayedsimilarly;heretheAdultstatementis,‘Everythingwillgetbetter if Iapply theprinciplesofmentalhealthwhich Ihave readandheard about.’ One patient learned to play ‘Psychiatry’ from one therapist,‘MentalHealth’fromanother,andthenasaresultofstillanothereffortbegantoplay a pretty good game of ‘Transactional Analysis’. When this was franklydiscussedwith her, she agreed to stop playing ‘MentalHealth’, but requestedthat she be allowed to continue to play ‘Psychiatry’ because it made her feelcomfortable.The transactional psychiatrist agreed.She continued therefore forseveralmonths to recite her dreams and her interpretations of them atweeklyintervals.Finally,partlyoutofplaingratitude,perhaps,shedecidedthatitmightbe interesting to find out what was really the matter with her. She became

seriouslyinterestedintransactionalanalysis,withgoodresults.Avariantof‘Psychiatry’is‘Archaeology’(titlebycourtesyofDrNorman

ReiderofSanFrancisco),inwhichthepatienttakesthepositionthatifshecanonly findoutwhohad thebutton, so to speak,everythingwill suddenlybeallright. This results in a continual rumination over childhood happenings.Sometimesthetherapistmaybebeguiledintoagameof‘Critique’,inwhichthepatientdescribesherfeelingsinvarioussituationsandthetherapisttellsherwhatis wrong with them. ‘Self-Expression’, which is a common game in sometherapygroups,isbasedonthedogma‘FeelingsareGood’.Apatientwhousesvulgarexpletives,forexample,maybeapplaudedoratleastimplicitlylauded.Asophisticatedgroup,however,willsoonspotthisasagame.

Somemembersoftherapygroupsbecomequiteadeptatpickingoutgamesof‘Psychiatry’,andwillsoonletanewpatientknowiftheythinkheisplaying‘Psychiatry’ or ‘Transactional Analysis’ instead of using group procedures toobtain legitimate insight. A woman who transferred from a Self-Expressiongroupinonecitytoamoresophisticatedgroupinanothercitytoldastoryaboutan incestuous relationship in her childhood. Insteadof the awewhich shehadcome to expectwhenever she told this oft-repeated tale, shewas greetedwithindifference, whereupon she became enraged. She was astonished to discoverthat the new groupwasmore interested in her transactional anger than in herhistoricalincest,andiniratetonesshehurledwhatapparentlyinhermindwastheultimate insult: she accused themofnotbeingFreudian.Freudhimself, ofcourse,tookpsychoanalysismoreseriously,andavoidedmakingagameofitbysayingthathehimselfwasnotaFreudian.

Recentlyunmaskedisanewvariantof‘Psychiatry’called‘TellMeThis’,somewhat similar to the party pastime ‘Twenty Questions’. White relates adreamoranincident,andtheothermembers,oftenincludingthetherapist,thenattempt to interpret itbyaskingpertinentquestions.As longasWhiteanswersthe questions, each member continues his inquiries until he finds a questionWhite cannot answer. ThenBlack sits backwith a knowing lookwhich says:‘Aha! If you could answer that one, youwould certainly get better, so I havedonemypart.’(Thisisadistantrelativeof‘WhyDon’tYou–YesBut’.)Sometherapygroupsarebasedalmostentirelyonthisgame,andmaygoonforyearswithonlyminimal changeorprogress. ‘TellMeThis’ allowsmuch latitude toWhite (the patient) who, for example, can play along with it by feelingineffectual;orhecancounteritbyansweringallthequestionsoffered,inwhichcasetheangeranddismayoftheotherplayerssoonbecomesmanifest,sinceheis throwing back at them, ‘I’ve answered all your questions and you haven’tcuredme,sowhatdoesthatmakeyou?’

‘TellMeThis’ is alsoplayed in schoolrooms,where thepupilsknow thatthe‘right’answertoanopen-endedquestionaskedbyacertaintypeofteacherisnot tobe foundbyprocessing the factualdata,butbyguessingoroutguessingwhich of several possible answers will make the teacher happy. A pedanticvariantoccursinteachingancientGreek;theteacheralwayshastheupperhandoverthepupil,andcanmakehimlookstupidandproveitinprintbypointingtosomeobscurefeatureofthetext.ThisisalsooftenplayedinteachingHebrew.

6·STUPID

Thesis.Initsmilderform,thethesisof‘Stupid’is,‘Ilaughwithyouatmyownclumsinessandstupidity.’Seriouslydisturbedpeople,however,mayplayitinasullenwaywhichsays,‘Iamstupid,that’sthewayIam,sodomesomething.’Bothformsareplayedfromadepressiveposition.‘Stupid’mustbedistinguishedfrom‘Schlemiel’,wherethepositionismoreaggressive,andtheclumsinessisabidforforgiveness.Itmustalsobedistinguishedfrom‘Clown’,whichisnotagamebutapastimewhichreinforcestheposition‘Iamcuteandharmless.’Thecritical transaction in ‘Stupid’ is forWhite to make Black call him stupid orrespondas thoughhewerestupid.HenceWhiteacts likeaSchlemielbutdoesnot ask for forgiveness; in fact forgiveness makes him uneasy, because itthreatenshisposition.Orhebehavesclownishly,butwithnoimplicationthatheis kidding; he wants his behaviour to be taken seriously, as evidence of realstupidity. There is considerable external gain, since the lessWhite learns, themoreeffectivelyhecanplay.Henceatschoolheneednotstudy,andatworkheneednotgooutofhiswaytolearnanythingthatmightleadtoadvancement.Hehasknownfromanearlyagethateveryonewillbesatisfiedwithhimaslongasheisstupid,despiteanyexpressionstothecontrary.Peoplearesurprisedwhenintimeofstress,ifhedecidestocomethrough,itturnsoutthatheisnotstupidatall–anymorethanisthe‘stupid’youngersoninthefairytale.

Antithesis.Theantithesisof themilderformissimple.Bynotplaying,bynotlaughingattheclumsinessorrailingatthestupidity,theanti-‘Stupid’playerwillmakeafriendforlife.Oneofthesubtletiesisthatthisgameisoftenplayedby cyclothymic or manic-depressive personalities. When such people areeuphoric, it seems as though they really want their associates to join in theirlaughteratthemselves.Itisoftenhardnotto,fortheygivetheimpressionthattheywillresentanabstainer–whichinawaytheydo,sincehethreatenstheirpositionandspoilsthegame.Butwhentheyaredepressed,andtheirresentmentagainst thosewho laughedwith or at them comes into the open, the abstainer

knowsthathehasactedcorrectly.Hemaybetheonlyonethepatientiswillingtohaveintheroomortalktowhenheiswithdrawn,andalltheformer‘friends’whoenjoyedthegamearenowtreatedasenemies.

ItisnousetellingWhitethatheisnotreallystupid.Hemayactuallybeofquitelimitedintelligenceandwellawareofit,whichishowthegamegotstartedinthefirstplace.Theremaybespecialareas,however,inwhichheissuperior:oftenpsychologicalinsightisone.Itdoesnoharmtoshowwhateverrespectisdeserved for such aptitudes, but this is different from clumsy attempts at‘reassurance’. The latter may give him the bitter satisfaction of realizing thatother people are evenmore stupid thanhe, but this is small consolation.Such‘reassurance’iscertainlynotthemostintelligenttherapeuticprocedure;usuallyit is a move in a game of ‘I’m Only Trying to Help You’. The antithesis of‘Stupid’ is not to substitute another game, but simply to refrain from playing‘Stupid’.

Theantithesisof the sullen form isamorecomplicatedproblem,becausethesullenplayeristryingtoprovokenotlaughterorderisionbuthelplessnessorexasperation, which he is well equipped to handle in accordance with hischallenge. ‘So do me something.’ Thus he wins either way. If Black doesnothing,itisbecausehefeelshelpless,andifhedoessomething,itisbecauseheisexasperated.Hencethesepeoplearepronealsotoplay‘WhyDon’tYou–YesBut’,fromwhichtheycangetthesamesatisfactionsinmilderform.Thereisnoeasy solution in this case, nor is there likely to be one forthcoming until thepsychodynamicsofthisgamearemoreclearlyunderstood.

7·WOODENLEG

Thesis.Themostdramaticformof‘WoodenLeg’is‘ThePleaofInsanity’.Thismaybe translated into transactional terms as follows: ‘What doyou expect ofsomeone as emotionally disturbed as I am – that Iwould refrain from killingpeople?’Towhich the jury is asked to reply: ‘Certainly not,wewould hardlyimposethatrestrictiononyou!’The‘PleaofInsanity’,playedasalegalgame,isacceptable to American culture and is different from the almost universallyrespected principle that an individual may be suffering from a psychosis soprofoundthatnoreasonablepersonwouldexpecthimtoberesponsibleforhisactions. In Japan drunkenness, and in Russia war-time military service, areaccepted as excuses for evading responsibility for all kinds of outrageousbehaviour(accordingtothiswriter’sinformation).

The thesis of ‘Wooden Leg’ is, ‘What do you expect of a man with a

wooden leg?’Put thatway,ofcourse,noonewouldexpectanythingofamanwithawoodenlegexceptthatheshouldsteerhisownwheelchair.Ontheotherhand,duringWorldWarIItherewasamanwithawoodenlegwhousedtogivedemonstrations of jitterbug dancing, and very competent jitterbug dancing, atArmyHospital amputation centres.There areblindmenwhopractice lawandholdpoliticaloffices (one such is currentlymayorof thewriter’shome town),deafmenwhopractisepsychiatryandhandlessmenwhocanuseatypewriter.

Aslongassomeonewithareal,exaggeratedorevenimaginarydisabilityiscontentwithhislot,perhapsnooneshouldinterfere.Butthemomenthepresentshimselfforpsychiatrictreatment,thequestionarisesifheisusinghislifetohisownbestadvantage,and ifhecan riseabovehisdisability. In thiscountry thetherapist will be working in opposition to a large mass of educated publicopinion. Even the close relatives of the patient who complained most loudlyabout the inconveniences caused by his infirmity, may eventually turn on thetherapistifthepatientmakesdefinitiveprogress.Thisisreadilyunderstandabletoagameanalyst,butitmakeshistasknolessdifficult.Allthepeoplewhowereplaying ‘I’m Only Trying to Help You’ are threatened by the impendingdisruptionofthegameifthepatientshowssignsofstrikingoutonhisown,andsometimestheyusealmostincrediblemeasurestoterminatethetreatment.

BothsidesareillustratedbythecaseofthestutteringclientofMissBlack’s,mentionedinthediscussionofthegame‘Indigence’.Thismanplayedaclassicalformof‘WoodenLeg’.Hewasunabletofindemployment,whichhecorrectlyattributedtothefactthathewasastutterer,sincetheonlycareerthatinterestedhim, he said, was that of salesman. As a free citizen he had a right to seekemploymentinwhateverfieldhechose,butasastutterer,hischoiceraisedsomequestionastothepurityofhismotives.ThereactionofthehelpfulagencywhenMissBlackattemptedtobreakupthisgamewasveryunfavourabletoher.

‘Wooden Leg’ is especially pernicious in clinical practice, because thepatientmayfindatherapistwhoplaysthesamegamewiththesameplea,sothatprogress is impossible. This is relatively easy to arrange in the case of the‘Ideological Plea’, ‘What do you expect of amanwho lives in a society likeours?’Onepatientcombinedthiswiththe‘PsychosomaticPlea’,‘Whatdoyouexpect of a man with psychosomatic symptoms?’ He found a succession oftherapistswhowould accept one plea but not the other, so that none of themeithermadehimfeelcomfortableinhiscurrentpositionbyacceptingbothpleas,orbudgedhimfromitbyrejectingboth.Thusheprovedthatpsychiatrycouldn’thelppeople.

Someofthepleaswhichpatientsusetoexcusesymptomaticbehaviourarecolds, head injuries, situational stress, the stress of modern living, American

culture and the economic system.A literate player has nodifficulty in findingauthoritiestosupporthim.‘IdrinkbecauseI’mIrish.’‘Thiswouldn’thappenifIlivedinRussiaorTahiti.’ThefactisthatpatientsinmentalhospitalsinRussiaandTahitiareverysimilartothoseinAmericanstatehospitals.1Specialpleasof‘If ItWeren’tForThem’or ‘TheyLetMeDown’ should alwaysbe evaluatedverycarefullyinclinicalpractice–andalsoinsocialresearchprojects.

Slightlymoresophisticatedaresuchpleasas:Whatdoyouexpectofamanwho(a)comesfromabrokenhome; (b) isneurotic; (c) is inanalysisor (d) issuffering fromadiseaseknownasalcoholism?Theseare toppedby, ‘If I stopdoingthisIwon’tbeabletoanalyseit,andthenI’llnevergetbetter.’

Theobverseof‘WoodenLeg’is‘Rickshaw’,withthethesis,‘Iftheyonlyhad(rickshaws)(duckbillplatypuses)(girlswhospokeancientEgyptian)aroundthistown,Ineverwouldhavegotintothismess.’

Antithesis.Anti-‘WoodenLeg’isnotdifficultifthetherapistcandistinguishclearlybetweenhisownParentandAdult,andifthetherapeuticaimisexplicitlyunderstoodbybothparties.

OntheParentalside,hecanbeeithera‘good’Parentora‘harsh’one.Asa‘good’Parenthecanacceptthepatient’splea,especiallyifitfitsinwithhisownviewpoints,perhapswith the rationalization thatpeoplearenot responsible fortheiractionsuntiltheyhavecompletedtheirtherapy.Asa‘harsh’Parenthecanreject thepleaandengage inacontestofwillswith thepatient.Bothof theseattitudesarealreadyfamiliartothe‘WoodenLeg’player,andheknowshowtoextractthemaximumsatisfactionsfromeachofthem.

As anAdult, the therapist declines both of these opportunities.When thepatientasks,‘Whatdoyouexpectofaneurotic?’(orwhateverpleaheisusingatthemoment)thereplyis,‘Idon’texpectanything.Thequestionis,whatdoyouexpectofyourself?’Theonlydemandhemakesisthatthepatientgiveaseriousanswertothisquestion,andtheonlyconcessionhemakesistoallowthepatientareasonablelengthoftimetoanswerit:anywherefromsixweekstosixmonths,depending on the relationship between them and the patient’s previouspreparation.

REFERENCE

1.Berne,E.,‘TheCulturalProblem:PsychopathologyinTahiti’,AmericanJournalofPsychiatry,116:1076–1081,1960.

12·GoodGames

THEpsychiatrist,whoisinthebestandperhapstheonlypositiontostudygamesadequately, unfortunatelydeals almost entirelywithpeoplewhosegameshaveled them into difficulties. This means that the games which are offered forclinical investigationareall in somesense ‘bad’ones.Andsincebydefinitiongames are based on ulterior transactions, theymust all have some element ofexploitation.Forthesetworeasons,practicalontheonehandandtheoreticalontheother,thesearchfor‘good’gamesbecomesadifficultquest.A‘good’gamemightbedescribedasonewhosesocialcontributionoutweighs thecomplexityof its motivations, particularly if the player has come to terms with thosemotivationswithout futilityor cynicism.That is, a ‘good’gamewouldbeonewhich contributes both to the well-being of the other players and to theunfoldingoftheonewhois‘it’.Sinceevenunderthebestformsofsocialactionandorganizationalargeproportionoftimehastobespentinplayinggames,thesearch for ‘good’ ones must be assiduously pursued. Several examples areofferedhere,buttheyareadmittedlydeficientinbothnumberandquality.Theyinclude ‘Busman’sHoliday’, ‘Cavalier’, ‘Happy toHelp’, ‘Homely Sage’ and‘They’llBeGladTheyKnewMe’.

1·BUSMAN’SHOLIDAY

Thesis.Strictly speaking, this is apastime rather thanagame, andevidentlyaconstructiveoneforallconcerned.AnAmericanmailcarrierwhogoestoTokyotohelpa Japanesepostmanonhis rounds,oranAmericanear-nose-and-throatspecialistwhospendshisholidayworkinginaHaitianhospital,willverylikelyfeeljustasrefreshedandhavejustasgoodstoriestotellasifhehadgonelionhunting in Africa or spent the time driving through transcontinental highwaytraffic.ThePeaceCorpshasnowgivenofficialsanctiontoBusman’sHoliday.

‘Busman’sHoliday’becomesagame,however,iftheworkissecondarytosomeulteriormotiveandisundertakenmerelyasashowinordertoaccomplishsomething else. Even under those circumstances, however, it still keeps itsconstructive quality and is one of the more commendable covers for otheractivities(whichmayalsobeconstructive).

2·CAVALIER

Thesis. This is a game played by men who are not under sexual pressure –occasionallybyyoungermenwhohaveasatisfactorymarriageorliaison,moreoftenbyoldermenwhoaregracefullyresignedtomonogamyorcelibacy.Uponencounteringasuitablefemalesubject,Whitetakeseveryopportunitytoremarkuponhergoodqualities,nevertransgressingthelimitsappropriatetoherstationin life, the immediate social situation and the requirements of good taste.Butwithin those limits he allows full play to his creativity, enthusiasm andoriginality.Theobjectisnottoseducebuttoexhibithisvirtuosityintheartofeffectivecompliment.Theinternalsocialadvantageliesinthepleasuregiventothe woman by this innocent artistry, and by her responsive appreciation ofWhite’sskill.Insuitablecases,wherebothareawareofthenatureofthegame,it may be stretched with increasing delight on both sides, to the point ofextravagance.Amanoftheworld,ofcourse,willknowwhentostop,andwillnotcontinuebeyondthepointatwhichheceasestoamuse(outofconsiderationfor her) or where the quality of his offerings begins to deteriorate (out ofconsideration for his own pride of craftsmanship). ‘Cavalier’ is played for itsexternal social advantages in the case of poets, who are as much, or more,interestedintheappreciationofqualifiedcriticsandthepublicat largeastheyareintheresponseoftheladywhoinspiredthem.

TheEuropeansinromance,andtheBritishinpoetry,seemalwaystohavebeenmoreadept at thisgame than theAmericans. Inour country it has fallenlargely into the hands of the Fruit Stand school of poetry: your eyes are likeavocados,yourlipslikecucumbers,etc.‘Cavalier’,FruitStandType,canhardlycompareinelegancewiththeproductionsofHerrickandLovelace,orevenwiththecynicalbutimaginativeworksofRochester,RoscommonandDorset.

Antithesis.Ittakessomesophisticationforthewomantoplayherpartwell,andagreatdealofsulkinessorstupidityforher torefuse toplayitatall.Theproper complement is a variant of ‘Gee You’re Wonderful Mr Murgatroyd’(GYWM): namely, ‘I Admire Your Productions, Mr M’. If the woman ismechanical or unperceptive, she may respond with plain GYWM, but thatmissesthepoint:whatWhiteisofferingforappreciationisnothimself,buthispoetry. The brutal antithesis from a sulky woman is to play Second-Degree‘Rapo’ (‘Buzz Off, Buster’). Third-Degree ‘Rapo’, which could conceivablyoccur,wouldofcoursebeanunspeakablyvileresponseunderthecircumstances.If the woman is merely stupid, she will play First-Degree ‘Rapo’, taking thecompliments to feed her vanity and neglecting to appreciateWhite’s creativeeffortsandabilities.Ingeneral,thegameisspoiledifthewomantreatsitasan

attemptatseductionratherthanasaliteraryexhibition.Relatives. ‘Cavalier’ being a game, it must be distinguished from the

operationsandprocedurescarriedonduringastraight-forwardcourtship,whichare simple transactions without ulterior motive. The female counterpart of‘Cavalier’ may be conveniently called ‘Blarney’, since it is often played bygallantIrishladiesintheirsunsetyears.

PARTIALANALYSIS

Aim:Mutualadmiration.Roles:Poet,Appreciativesubject.SocialParadigm:Adult-Adult.Adult(male):‘SeehowgoodIcanmakeyoufeel.’Adult(female):‘My,butyoumakemefeelgood.’

PsychologicalParadigm:Child(male):‘SeewhatphrasesIcancreate.’Child(female):‘My,butyou’recreative.’

Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological – creativity and reassurance ofattractiveness. (2) External Psychological – avoids rejection for unnecessarysexualadvances.(3)InternalSocial–‘Cavalier’.(4)ExternalSocial–thesemaybe resigned. (5) Biological – mutual stroking. (6) Existential – I can livegracefully.

3·HAPPYTOHELP

Thesis.Whiteisconsistentlyhelpfultootherpeople,withsomeulteriormotive.He may be doing penance for past wickedness, covering up for presentwickedness,making friends in order to exploit them later or seeking prestige.But whoever questions hismotivesmust also give him credit for his actions.Afterall,peoplecancoverup forpastwickednessbybecomingmorewicked,exploit people by fear rather than generosity and seek prestige for evil waysinstead of good ones. Somephilanthropists aremore interested in competitionthaninbenevolence:‘Igavemoremoney(worksofart,acresofland)thanyoudid.’ Again, if their motives are questioned, they must nevertheless be givencreditforcompetinginaconstructiveway,sincetherearesomanypeoplewhocompetedestructively.Mostpeople(orpeoples)whoplay‘HappytoHelp’havebothfriendsandenemies,bothperhapsjustifiedintheirfeelings.Theirenemiesattack theirmotivesandminimize theiractions,while their friendsaregratefulfor their actions and minimize their motives. Therefore so-called ‘objective’discussions of this game are practically nonexistent. People who claim to beneutralsoonshowwhichsidetheyareneutralon.

Thisgame,asanexploitativemanoeuvre,isthebasisforalargeproportionof‘publicrelations’inAmerica.Butthecustomersaregladtobecomeinvolved,anditisperhapsthemostpleasantandconstructiveofthecommercialgames.In

anotherconnection,oneofitsmostreprehensibleformsisathree-handedfamilygameinwhichthemotherandfathercompetefortheaffectionoftheiroffspring.Butevenhere,itshouldbenoted,thechoiceof‘HappytoHelp’removessomeofthediscredit,sincetherearesomanyunpleasantwaysofcompetingavailable–forexample,‘Mummyissicker thandaddy,’or‘Whydoyoulovehimmorethanyouloveme?’

4·HOMELYSAGE

Thesis.Thisisproperlyascriptratherthanagame,butithasgamelikeaspects.Awell-educatedandsophisticatedmanlearnsasmuchashecanaboutallsortsof thingsbesideshisownbusiness.Whenhereachesretirementage,hemovesfromthebigcitywhereheheldaresponsiblepositiontoasmalltown.Thereitsoonbecomesknownthatpeoplecangotohimwiththeirproblemsofwhateverkind,fromaknockintheenginetoasenilerelative,andthathewillhelpthemhimselfifheiscompetentorelsereferthemtoqualifiedexperts.Thushesoonfinds his place in his new environment as a ‘Homely Sage’, making nopretences,butalwayswillingtolisten.Initsbestformitisplayedbypeoplewhohave taken the trouble togo to apsychiatrist to examine theirmotives, and tolearnwhaterrorstoavoidbeforesettingthemselvesupinthisrole.

5·THEY’LLBEGLADTHEYKNEWME

Thesis.Thisisamoreworthyvariantof‘I’llShowThem’.Therearetwoformsof Til ShowThem’. In the destructive formWhite ‘shows them’ by inflictingdamageonthem.Thushemaymanoeuvrehimselfintoasuperiorposition,notfor the prestige or the material rewards but because it gives him power toexercisehis spite. In theconstructive formWhiteworkshardandexertseveryeffort to gain prestige, not for the sake of craftsmanship or legitimateaccomplishment(althoughthosemayplayasecondaryrole),nortoinflictdirectdamageonhisenemies,butsothattheywillbeeatenwithenvyandwithregretfornothavingtreatedhimbetter.

In‘They’llBeGladTheyKnewMe’,Whiteisworkingnotagainstbutforthe interests of his former associates. He wants to show them that they werejustified in treating him with friendliness and respect and to demonstrate tothem, for their owngratification, that their judgementwas sound. In order forhim tohavea securewin in thisgame,hismeansaswell ashisendsmustbe

honourable, and that is its superiority over ‘I’ll ShowThem’.Both ‘I’ll ShowThem’ and ‘They’llBeGlad’ canbemerely secondary advantages of success,rather than games. They become gameswhenWhite ismore interested in theeffectsonhisenemiesorfriendsthanheisinthesuccessitself.

PARTTHREE

BEYONDGAMES

13·TheSignificanceofGames

1.GAMES are passedon fromgeneration to generation.The favouredgameofanyindividualcanbetracedbacktohisparentsandgrandparents,andforwardtohis children; they in turn, unless there is a successful intervention, will teachthemtohisgrandchildren.Thusgameanalysistakesplaceinagrandhistoricalmatrix, demonstrably extending back as far as one hundred years and reliablyprojected into the future for at least fifty years. Breaking this chain whichinvolves five ormore generationsmay have geometrically progressive effects.There are many living individuals who have more than two hundreddescendants.Gamesmaybedilutedor altered fromonegeneration to another,butthereseemstobeastrongtendencytoinbreedwithpeoplewhoplayagameofthesamefamily,ifnotofthesamegenus.Thatisthehistoricalsignificanceofgames.

2.‘Raising’childrenisprimarilyamatterofteachingthemwhatgamestoplay. Different cultures and different social classes favour different types ofgames,andvarioustribesandfamiliesfavourdifferentvariationsofthese.Thatistheculturalsignificanceofgames.

3. Games are sandwiched, as it were, between pastimes and intimacy.Pastimes grow boring with repetition, as do promotional cocktail parties.Intimacy requires stringent circumspection, and is discriminated against byParent, Adult and Child. Society frowns upon candidness, except in privacy;goodsenseknowsthatitcanalwaysbeabused;andtheChildfearsitbecauseoftheunmaskingwhichitinvolves.Henceinordertogetawayfromtheennuiofpastimeswithout exposing themselves to thedangersof intimacy,mostpeoplecompromiseforgameswhentheyareavailable,andthesefillthemajorpartofthemoreinterestinghoursofsocialintercourse.Thatisthesocialsignificanceofgames.

4.People pick as friends, associates and intimates other peoplewhoplaythe same games. Hence ‘everybody who is anybody’ in a given social circle(aristocracy, juvenilegang,socialclub,collegecampus,etc.)behaves inawaywhich may seem quite foreign to members of a different social circle.Conversely,anymemberofasocialcirclewhochangeshisgameswilltendtobeextruded,buthewill findhimselfwelcomeatsomeothersocialcircle.That isthepersonalsignificanceofgames.

NOTE

The reader should now be in a position to appreciate the basic differencebetween mathematical and transactional game analysis. Mathematical gameanalysis postulates players who are completely rational. Transactional gameanalysis deals with gameswhich are unrational, or even irrational, and hencemorereal.

14·ThePlayers

MANYgamesareplayedmostintenselybydisturbedpeople;generallyspeaking,themoredisturbed they are, theharder theyplay.Curiously enough, however,someschizophrenicsseemtorefusetoplaygames,anddemandcandidnessfromthebeginning.Ineverydaylifegamesareplayedwiththegreatestconvictionbytwoclassesofindividuals:theSulks,andtheJerksorSquares.

TheSulkisamanwhoisangryathismother.Oninvestigationitemergesthathehasbeenangryathersinceearlychildhood.Heoftenhasgood‘Child’reasonsforhisanger:shemayhave‘deserted’himduringacriticalperiodinhisboyhoodbygettingsickandgoingtothehospital,orshemayhavegivenbirthtotoomany siblings. Sometimes the desertion ismore deliberate; shemay havefarmedhimoutinordertoremarry.Inanycase,hehasbeensulkingeversince.He does not like women, although he may be a Don Juan. Since sulking isdeliberateatitsinception,thedecisiontosulkcanbereversedatanyperiodoflife, just as it can be during childhood when it comes time for dinner. TherequirementsforreversingthedecisionarethesameforthegrownupSulkasforthe littleboy.Hemustbeable tosaveface,andhemustbeofferedsomethingworthwhile in exchange for the privilege of sulking. Sometimes a game of‘Psychiatry’ which might otherwise last several years can be aborted byreversingadecisiontosulk.Thisrequirescarefulpreparationofthepatientandpropertimingandapproach.Clumsinessorbullyingonthepartofthetherapistwillhavenobetterresultthanitdoeswithasulkylittleboy;inthelongrun,thepatientwillpaythetherapistbackforhismishandlingjustasthelittleboywilleventuallyrepayclumsyparents.

With femaleSulks thesituation is thesame,mutatismutandis, if theyareangryatfather.TheirWoodenLeg(‘Whatdoyouexpectofawomanwhohadafather like that?’) must be handled with even more diplomacy by a maletherapist.Otherwiseherisksbeingthrownintothewastebasketof‘menwhoarelikefather’.

ThereisabitofJerkineveryone,buttheobjectofgameanalysisistokeepit at a minimum. A Jerk is someone who is overly sensitive to Parentalinfluences. Hence his Adult data processing and his Child’s spontaneity arelikely to be interfered with at critical moments, resulting in inappropriate orclumsybehaviour.InextremecasestheJerkmergeswiththeToady,theShow-off, and the Cling. The Jerk is not to be confused with the bewilderedschizophrenic,whohasnofunctioningParentandverylittlefunctioningAdult,

sothathehastocopewiththeworldintheegostateofaconfusedChild.Itisinterestingthatincommonusage‘jerk’isanepithetappliedtomenonly,orinrarecasestomasculinewomen.APrigisevenmoreofaSquarethanaJerk;Prigis a word usually reserved for women, but occasionally it is said of men ofsomewhatfemininetendencies.

15·AParadigm

CONSIDERthefollowingexchangebetweenapatient(P)andatherapist(T):P.‘Ihaveanewproject–beingontime.’

T.‘I’lltrytocooperate.’P.‘Idon’tcareaboutyou.I’mdoingitformyself….GuesswhatgradeIgot

onmyhistorytest!’T.‘B+.’P.‘Howdidyouknow?’T.‘Becauseyou’reafraidtogetanA.’P.‘Yes,IhadanA,andIwentovermypaperandcrossedoutthreecorrect

answersandputinthreewrongones.’T.‘Ilikethisconversation.It’sJerk-free.’P. ‘You know, last night Iwas thinking howmuch progress I’vemade. I

figuredIwasonly17percentJerknow.’T. ‘Well, so far this morning it’s zero, so you’re entitled to 34 per cent

discountonthenextround.’P.‘Itallbegansixmonthsago,thattimeIwaslookingatmycoffeepotand

for the first time I really saw it.Andyouknowhow it isnow,howIhear thebirdssing,andIlookatpeopleandthey’rereallythereaspeople,andbestofall,I’mreallythere.AndI’mnotonlythere,butrightnowI’mhere.TheotherdayIwasstandingintheartgallerylookingatapicture,andamancameupandsaid,“Gauguinisverynice,isn’the?”SoIsaid:“Ilikeyoutoo.”Sowewentoutandhadadrinkandhe’saveryniceguy.’

This is presented as a Jerk-free, game-free conversation between twoautonomous Adults, with the following annotations: ‘I have a new project –being on time.’ This announcement wasmade after the fact. The patient wasnearlyalwayslate.Thistimeshewasn’t.Ifpunctualityhadbeenaresolution,anactof ‘willpower’,an impositionof theParenton theChild,madeonly tobebroken,itwouldhavebeenannouncedbeforethefact:‘ThisisthelasttimeI’llbelate.’Thatwouldhavebeenanattempttosetupagame.Herannouncementwas not. It was an Adult decision, a project, not a resolution. The patientcontinuedtobepunctual.

‘I’ll try to cooperate.’Thiswas not a ‘supportive’ statement, nor the firstmoveinanewgameof‘I’mOnlyTryingtoHelpYou.’Thepatient’shourcame

afterthetherapist’scoffeebreak.Sinceshewashabituallylate,hehadfallenintothehabitof takinghis timeandgettingback latehimself.Whenshemadeherdeclaration,heknewshemeantit,andmadehis.ThetransactionwasanAdultcontractwhichbothofthemkept,andnotaChildteasingaParentalfigurewhobecause of his position felt forced to be a ‘good daddy’ and say he wouldcooperate.

‘Idon’tcareaboutyou.’Thisemphasizesthatherpunctualityisadecision,andnotaresolutiontobeexploitedaspartofapseudo-compliantgame.

‘GuesswhatgradeIgot.’Thisisapastimewhichbothwereawareofandfelt free to indulge in.Therewasnoneedforhimtodemonstratehowalerthewasbytellingheritwasapastime,somethingshealreadyknew,andtherewasnoneedforhertorefrainfromplayingitjustbecauseitwascalledapastime.

‘B+.’ The therapist reckoned that in her case this was the only possiblegrade,andtherewasnoreasonnot tosayso.Falsemodestyorafearofbeingwrongmighthaveledhimtopretendthathedidnotknow.

‘How did you know?’ This was an Adult question, not a game of ‘GeeYou’reWonderful’,anditdeservedapertinentanswer.

‘Yes, I had an A.’ This was the real test. The patient did not sulk withrationalizationsorpleas,butfacedherChildsquarely.

‘I like this conversation.’ This and the following semi-facetious remarkswere expressions of mutual Adult respect, with perhaps a little Parent-Childpastime,whichagainwasoptionalwithbothof them,andofwhich theywerebothaware.

‘For the first timeI reallysaw it.’She isnowentitled toherownkindofawareness and is no longer obliged to see coffeepots and people theway herparentstoldherto.‘RightnowI’mhere.’Shenolongerlivesinthefutureorthepast,butcandiscussthembrieflyifitservesausefulpurpose.

‘I said: “I like you too.” She is not obliged to waste time playing ‘ArtGallery’withthenewcomer,althoughshecouldifshechoseto.

Thetherapist,onhispart,doesnotfeelobligedtoplay‘Psychiatry’.Therewere several opportunities to bring up questions of defence, transference andsymbolic interpretation,buthewasable to let thesegobywithout feelinganyanxiety.Itdidseemworthwhile,however,toascertainforfuturereferencewhichanswers she crossed out on her examination. During the rest of the hour,unfortunately,the17percentofJerkleftinthepatientandthe18percentleftinthe therapist showed from time to time. In summary, the proceedings givenconstituteanactivityenlightenedwithsomepastime.

16·Autonomy

THE attainment of autonomy ismanifested by the release or recovery of threecapacities:awareness,spontaneityandintimacy.

Awareness.Awarenessmeans thecapacity to seeacoffeepotandhear thebirdssinginone’sownway,andnotthewayonewastaught.Itmaybeassumedongoodgroundsthatseeingandhearinghaveadifferentqualityforinfantsthanforgrownups,1andthattheyaremoreaestheticandlessintellectualinthefirstyears of life. A little boy sees and hears birds with delight. Then the ‘goodfather’comesalongandfeelsheshould‘share’theexperienceandhelphisson‘develop’.Hesays: ‘That’sa jay,and this isa sparrow.’Themoment the littleboyisconcernedwithwhichisajayandwhichisasparrow,hecannolongerseethebirdsorhearthemsing.Hehastoseeandhearthemthewayhisfatherwantshimto.Fatherhasgoodreasonsonhisside,sincefewpeoplecanaffordtogothroughlifelisteningtothebirdssing,andthesoonerthelittleboystartshis‘education’ thebetter.Maybehewillbeanornithologistwhenhegrowsup.Afew people, however, can still see and hear in the old way. But most of themembers of the human race have lost the capacity to be painters, poets ormusicians,andarenotlefttheoptionofseeingandhearingdirectlyeveniftheycanaffordto;theymustgetitsecondhand.Therecoveryofthisabilityiscalledhere ‘awareness’. Physiologically awareness is eidetic perception, allied toeidetic imagery.2 Perhaps there is also eidetic perception, at least in certainindividuals,inthespheresoftaste,smellandkinesthesia,givingustheartistsinthose fields: chefs, perfumers and dancers, whose eternal problem is to findaudiencescapableofappreciatingtheirproducts.

Awarenessrequireslivinginthehereandnow,andnotintheelsewhere,thepastorthefuture.AgoodillustrationofpossibilitiesinAmericanlife,isdrivingtoworkinthemorninginahurry.Thedecisivequestionis:‘Whereisthemindwhenthebodyishere?andtherearethreecommoncases.

1.Themanwhosechiefpreoccupation isbeingon timeis theonewhoisfurthestout.Withhisbodyatthewheelofhiscar,hismindisatthedoorofhisoffice,andheisoblivioustohisimmediatesurroundingsexceptinsofarastheyareobstaclestothemomentwhenhissomawillcatchupwithhispsyche.ThisistheJerk,whosechiefconcernishowitwilllooktotheboss.Ifheislate,hewilltakepainstoarriveoutofbreath.ThecompliantChildisincommand,andhisgame is ‘Look How Hard I’ve Tried’. While he is driving, he is almostcompletely lacking in autonomy, and as a humanbeing he is in essencemore

deadthanalive.Itisquitepossiblethatthisisthemostfavourableconditionforthedevelopmentofhypertensionorcoronarydisease.

2.TheSulk,ontheotherhand,isnotsomuchconcernedwitharrivingontimeasincollectingexcusesforbeinglate.Mishaps,badlytimedlightsandpoordrivingorstupidityonthepartofothersfitwellintohisschemeandaresecretlywelcomedas contributions tohis rebelliousChildor righteousParentgameof‘LookWhatTheyMadeMeDo’.He,too,isoblivioustohissurroundingsexceptastheysubscribetohisgame,sothatheisonlyhalfalive.Hisbodyisinhiscar,buthismindisoutsearchingforblemishesandinjustices.

3.Lesscommonisthe‘naturaldriver’,themantowhomdrivingacarisacongenialscienceandart.Ashemakeshiswayswiftlyandskilfullythroughthetraffic, he is at onewith his vehicle.He, too, is oblivious of his surroundingsexceptastheyofferscopeforthecraftsmanshipwhichisitsownreward,butheisverymuchawareofhimselfandthemachinewhichhecontrolssowell,andtothatextentheisalive.SuchdrivingisformallyanAdultpastimefromwhichhisChildandParentmayalsoderivesatisfaction.

4. The fourth case is the person who is aware, and who will not hurrybecauseheislivinginthepresentmomentwiththeenvironmentwhichishere:theskyandthetreesaswellasthefeelingofmotion.Tohurryistoneglectthatenvironmentandtobeconsciousonlyofsomethingthatisstilloutofsightdowntheroad,orofmereobstacles,orsolelyofoneself.AChinesemanstartedtogetintoalocalsubwaytrain,whenhisCaucasiancompanionpointedoutthattheycouldsavetwentyminutesbytakinganexpress,whichtheydid.WhentheygotoffatCentralPark,theChinesemansatdownonabench,muchtohisfriend’ssurprise. ‘Well,’explainedtheformer, ‘sincewesavedtwentyminutes,wecanaffordtositherethatlongandenjoyoursurroundings.’

Theawarepersonisalivebecauseheknowshowhefeels,whereheisandwhenitis.Heknowsthatafterhediesthetreeswillstillbethere,buthewillnotbe there to look at them again, so he wants to see them now with as muchpoignancyaspossible.

Spontaneity.Spontaneitymeansoption,thefreedomtochooseandexpressone’sfeelingsfromtheassortmentavailable(Parentfeelings,AdultfeelingsandChild feelings). It means liberation, liberation from the compulsion to playgamesandhaveonlythefeelingsonewastaughttohave.

Intimacy. Intimacy means the spontaneous, game-free candidness of anawareperson, the liberationof theeideticallyperceptive,uncorruptedChild inall itsnaïveté living in thehereandnow.Itcanbeshownexperimentally3 thateidetic perception evokes affection, and that candidness mobilizes positivefeelings, so that there is even such a thing as ‘one-sided intimacy’ – a

phenomenonwell known, althoughnot by that name, to professional seducerswho are able to capture their partnerswithout becoming involved themselves.Thistheydobyencouragingtheotherpersontolookatthemdirectlyandtotalkfreely,whilethemaleorfemaleseducermakesonlyawell-guardedpretenceofreciprocating.

Because intimacy is essentially a function of the natural Child (althoughexpressedinamatrixofpsychologicalandsocialcomplications),ittendstoturnoutwellifnotdisturbedbytheinterventionofgames.UsuallytheadaptationtoParental influences is what spoils it, and most unfortunately this is almost auniversal occurrence. But before, unless and until they are corrupted, mostinfantsseemtobeloving,4andthatistheessentialnatureofintimacy,asshownexperimentally.

REFERENCES

1.Berne,E.,‘IntuitionIV:PrimalImages&PrimalJudgments’,PsychiatricQuarterly,29:634–658,1955.

2.Jaensch,E.R.,EideticImagery,Harcourt,Brace,NewYork,1930.3.TheseexperimentsarestillinthepilotstageattheSanFranciscoSocial

Psychiatry Seminars. The effective experimental use of transactional analysisrequiresspecialtrainingandexperience,justastheeffectiveexperimentaluseofchromatography or infra-red spectrophotometry does. Distinguishing a gamefromapastimeisnoeasierthandistinguishingastarfromaplanet.SeeBerne,E., ‘The IntimacyExperiment’,Transactional AnalysisBulletin, 3: 113, 1964;‘MoreAboutIntimacy’,ibid.,3:125,1964.

4.Someinfantsarecorruptedorstarvedveryearly(marasmus,somecolics)andneverhaveachancetoexercisethiscapacity.

17·TheAttainmentofAutonomy

PARENTS,deliberatelyorunaware,teachtheirchildrenfrombirthhowtobehave,think,feelandperceive.Liberationfromtheseinfluencesisnoeasymatter,sincetheyaredeeplyingrainedandarenecessaryduringthefirsttwoorthreedecadesoflifeforbiologicalandsocialsurvival.Indeed,suchliberationisonlypossibleatallbecausetheindividualstartsoffinanautonomousstate,thatis,capableofawareness, spontaneity and intimacy, and he has some discretion as to whichpartsofhisparents’teachingshewillaccept.Atcertainspecificmomentsearlyinlifehedecideshowheisgoingtoadapttothem.Itisbecausehisadaptationisin thenatureofaseriesofdecisions that itcanbeundone,sincedecisionsarereversibleunderfavourablecircumstances.

The attainment of autonomy, then, consists of the overthrow of all thoseirrelevanciesdiscussedinChapters13,14and15.Andsuchoverthrowisneverfinal:thereisacontinualbattleagainstsinkingbackintotheoldways.

First, as discussed in Chapter 13, the weight of a whole tribal or familyhistoricaltraditionhastobelifted,asinthecaseofMargaretMead’svillagersinNewGuinea;1 then the influenceof the individualparental, social andculturalbackgroundhastobethrownoff.Thesamemustbedonewiththedemandsofcontemporary society at large, and finally the advantages derived from one’simmediatesocialcirclehavetobepartlyorwhollysacrificed.ThenalltheeasyindulgencesandrewardsofbeingaSulkoraJerk,asdescribedinChapter14,have to be given up. Following this, the individual must attain personal andsocial control, so that all the classes of behaviour described in theAppendix,exceptperhapsdreams,becomefreechoicessubjectonlytohiswill.Heisthenready for game-free relationships such as that illustrated in the paradigm inChapter15.Atthispointhemaybeabletodevelophiscapacitiesforautonomy.Inessence,thiswholepreparationconsistsofobtainingafriendlydivorcefromone’sparents(andfromotherParentalinfluences)sothattheymaybeagreeablyvisitedonoccasion,butarenolongerdominant.

REFERENCE

1.Mead,M.,NewLivesforOld,Gollancz,1956.

18·AfterGames,What?

THEsombrepicturepresentedinPartsIandIIofthisbook,inwhichhumanlifeismainlyaprocessof filling in timeuntil thearrivalofdeath,orSantaClaus,withverylittlechoice,ifany,ofwhatkindofbusinessoneisgoingtotransactduring the long wait, is a commonplace but not the final answer. For certainfortunate people there is something which transcends all classifications ofbehaviour,andthatisawareness;somethingwhichrisesabovetheprogrammingof thepast,andthat isspontaneity;andsomethingthat ismorerewardingthangames,andthatisintimacy.Butallthreeofthesemaybefrighteningandevenperiloustotheunprepared.Perhapstheyarebetteroffastheyare,seekingtheirsolutionsinpopulartechniquesofsocialaction,suchas‘togetherness’.Thismaymeanthat thereisnohopefor thehumanrace,but thereishopefor individualmembersofit.

AppendixTheClassificationofBehaviour

ATanygivenmomentahumanbeingisengagedinoneormoreofthefollowingclassesofbehaviour:CLASSI.Internallyprogrammed(archaeopsychic).Autisticbehaviour.

Orders: (a)Dreams.(b)Fantasies.Families: i.Extraneousfantasies(wishfulfilment).

ii.Autistictransactions,Unadapted.iii. Autistic transactions, Adapted (withneopsychicprogramming).

(c)Fugues.(d)Delusionalbehaviour.(e)Involuntaryactions.(e)Involuntaryactions.Families: i.Tics.

ii.Mannerisms.iii.Parapraxes.

(f)Others.CLASSII.Probabilityprogrammed(neopsychic).Reality-testedbehaviour.Orders: (a)Activities.

Families: i.Professions,trades,etc.ii.Sports,hobbies,etc.

(b)Procedures.Families: i.Dataprocessing,

ii.Techniques.(c)Others.

CLASSIII.Sociallyprogrammed(partlyexteropsychic).Socialbehaviour.Orders: (a)Ritualsandceremonies.

(b)Pastimes.(c)Operationsandmanoeuvres.(d)Games.

Suborders:A.Professionalgames(angulartransactions).B.Socialgames(duplextransactions).

(e)Intimacy.Inthisschemethesocialgamespreviouslydiscussedwouldbeclassifiedas

follows:ClassIII,Sociallyprogrammed;Order(d),Games;SuborderB,SocialGames Intimacy, ‘theendof the line’, is the final classification, and ispartofgame-freeliving.

Thereadershouldfeelfreetocarp(butnottogleekorfleer)at theaboveclassification.Itisincludednotbecausethewriterisinlovewithit,butbecauseitismorefunctional,realandpracticalthanothersystemsnowinuseandcanbehelpfultothosewholikeorneedtaxonomy.

IndexofPastimes[P]andGames[G]

AddictG,66Ain’tItAwfulG,43,57,75,96-8,99,110AlcoholicG,55,56-7,64-70,103,117

AllGreatMenWereP,110ArcheologyG,136ArtGalleryG,156AsthmaG,82Auditors&RobbersG,119AwShucksFellowsP,39

BadgerGameG,75,111,121BalanceSheetP,38,44BarStoolP,97BeatMeDaddyG,87BigStoreG,121BlarneyG,145BlemishG,88-9,98-9BrokenSkinP,97BumRapG,121Busman’sHolidayG,143-4BuzzOffBusterG,111,145

CastingCouchG,112CavalierG,144-5ClinicG,132ClownP,138CoffeeBreakP,97

Cops&RobbersG,110,116-20,122,123nCornerG,80-83CourtierG,45CourtroomG,83-5,91,94,115,119CritiqueG,137CuddleUpG,112CustomsandRobbersG,119

DebtorG,57,70-73,83DelinquentHusbandP,41Didn’tWorkOutProperlyG,105DoMeSomethingG,106-7DoYouKnowP,39DryAlcoholicG,55,66

Escapep,120EverBeenp,38,39,41

FrigidManG,57,87,115FrigidWomanG,56,85-8,112,115FurthermoreG,84,106

GeeYou’reWonderfulMrMurgatroydG,56,133,135,145GeeYou’reWonderfulProfessorG,133,134-5

GeneralMotorsP,38,42GoodBehaviourG,120-21GoodJoeG,67,69,72GreenhouseG,124-5GroceryP,38

HappytoHelpG,145-6HarriedG,88-90HaveOneG,69HomelySageG,146-7HomosexualityG,110

HowDoYouGetOutofHereG,120-21How’mIDoingP,90,98HowMuchP,39,41HowToP,39

ICanGetItForYouWholesaleG,127,128IToldYouSoG,77

IfItWeren’tForHimP,46,91

IfItWeren’tForThemG,141IfItWeren’tForYouG,45-52,57,88,91I’llShowThemG,147

I’mOnlyTryingtoHelpYouG,67,73,77,78,105,125-9,130-32,136,139,141

IndigenceG,127,129-32,141

IndignationG,110It’sTheSocietyWeLiveInP,110

JuvenileDelinquencyP,39

KickMeG,73-4,78,111KissOffG,110,112KitchenP,38

LadyTalkP,38,41Let’sFindP,43

Let’sPullAFastOneonJoeyG,109,121-2Let’sYouandHimFightG,56,108-9,111,122

LittleOldMeG,96,133LookHowHardI’mTryingG,90,92,127LookHowHardI’veTriedG,91-4,159LookHowHardIWasTryingG,92-3

LookMaNoHandsP,39,41LookWhatYouMadeMeDoG,126,127,159LookWhatYou’veDoneToMeG,67

LunchBagG,83

MakingOutP,38ManTalkP,38,41MartiniP,39,66MeTooP,43MentalHealthG,136MorningAfterP,39,41,66

NowadaysP,96-7,98NowI’veGotYou,YouSonofaBitchG,56,72,74-6,86

PTAP,39,40,41,42,57,102PeasantG,106,132-5,136PerversionG,109-10PolysurgeryG,56,97PsychiatryP,135

PsychiatryG,38,39,56,73,90,91,120,135-8,153PsychoanalysisG,124,135

RapoG,57,106,110-13,134,145RickshawG,142

SchlemielG,55,57,65,73,99-101,127,128,138SeeIfYouCanStopMeG,70

SeeWhatYouMadeMeDoG,76-9SeeWhatYou’veDoneNowG,77Self-ExpressionG,137StateHospitalG,90StockingGameG,113-14StupidG,103,138-40SunnySideUpp,41SweetheartG,84,94-5

TellMeThisG,137-8TellThemDearP,39ThenWe’llP,43ThereIGoAgainG,78There’sNothingYouCanDoToHelpMeG,127TheyLetMeDownG,141

They’llBeGladTheyKnewMeG,147They’reAlwaysOuttoGetYouP,76

ThreadbareG,74,83ToughGuyG,69TransactionalAnalysisG,136,137

TryAndCollectG,72-3TryAndGetAwayWithItG,72-3

UproarG,81,86,87,114-15

VeteranG,132

WantOutG,120-21WardrobeP,38,41WaterCoolerP,97WhatBecameP,38,39WhatDoYouDoIfG,105WhoWonP,38WhyDidYou…NoButG,106

WhyDoesThisAlwaysHappentoMeG,57,73,74,75,77-8,110,127WhyDon’tTheyp,43WhyDon’tyou–YesButG,52,56,91,101-7,137,139

WoodenLegG,68,83,92,109,140-42,153Yes,Yes,HowAboutThatP,132YouGotMeIntoThisG,77,78-9You’reUncommonlyPerceptiveG,134

You’veGotToListenG,121

AuthorIndex

Bateson,G.,82,95Belbenoit,R.,19Berne,E.12,19,27,58,79,142,160

Chamisso,A.,99,107Collins,W.,122

deKock,P.,99,107Dickens,C.,87,112

Ernst,F.H.,122Everts,K.,79

French,J.D.,19Freud,S.,18,19,137

Goulding,R.,79

Huizinga,J.,17,19

Jaensch,E.R.,160Jasper,H.,27Jung,C.G.,41

Keating,W.C.,123Kierkegaard,S.,17,19Kinkead,E.,19

Levine,S.,15,19

Luce,R.D.,12

Matson,F.,79Maugham,S.,112Maurer,D.W.,58Mead,G.H.,58Mead,M.,79,161Means,L.,122Miller,A.,45Miller,H.,129

Nurse,R.,79

Paré,A.,135Penfield,W.,26,27Potter,S.,58

Raiffa,H.,12Reider,N.,136

Seaton,G.J.,19Semmelweis,I.P.,37Spitz,R.,13,19Stands,R.J.,79Stendhal,45Szasz,T.,58

Wiseman,F.,123

SubjectIndex

Activities,18;definition,16;differencebetweenpastimesand,42Adolescents,15Adult,23,33,39,40,41,45,48,49,51,54,93,98,99,100,102,104,113,120,126,132,134,136,142,151,153,159;dataprocessing,33;egostate,23;functions,26Advantages in games, 50–51, 62; biological, 62; existential, 18, 51, 62;external psychological, 51, 62; external social, 18, 52, 62; internalpsychological,51,62; internalsocial,18,51,62;pastimes,42;secondary,18AlcoholicsAnonymous,67,68Anthropology,47Antithesisofgames,48Apathy,13Asthmaticchildren,82Attainment,strivingfor,14Attitudes,42;static,45Autonomy,158–60;attainmentof,161Awareness,158–60,162

Behaviourpatterns,23;classificationof,163–4Biologicaldeterioration,17Blushing,104Boredom,17

Child,23,33,40,43,46,49,54,93,97,98,99,102,103,104,106,109,113,116,117,120–21,127,136,153,154,159,160;adaptedandnaturalform,25–6;egostate,23;functions,26

Child-rearing,16,52,161–2;gamesand,151Clinics,136;consultingroomgames,124–42Colloquialisms,14,19,56Commercialgames,146Compromise,14‘Congames,’45Consultingroomgames,124–42

Conversations,16Criminals,studiesof,118–19;typesof,117

Dreams,161Dynamicsofgames,49,61

Egostates,49;Adult,23;Child,23;definition,23–4;Parent,23Emotionalstarvation,17Equilibrium,maintenanceof,18Existentialadvantages,18,51,62;pastimes,42

Families,emotionaldynamics,53;traditions,161Fantasy,18Femaleroleingames,12Fetishism,109‘Foul,’17Friendships,50

‘Gainsfromillness,’18Gamblersandgambling,117,118Game-freerelationships,55,56Games,18,44–58;advantages,50–52,62;aimof,48,61;analysis,26–58;antithesis,48;basedonulteriortransactions,143;biologicaladvantage,50,62;Child-Child,49;classificationof,56–7;colloquialisms,56;culminationof,55;definition,16–17,44–5;distinguishedfromoperation,44;dynamics,49,61;existentialadvantage,18,51,62;externalpsychologicaladvantage,51, 62; external social advantage, 52, 62; functions of, 54–6; genesis of,52–4;influenceonselectionofsocialcompanions,40–42,52; initiatedbychildren, 54; internal psychological advantage, 51, 62; internal socialadvantage,51,62;manoeuvres,44,47,108;notation,61–2;Parent-Child,49; prevalence, 47; relatives, 62; roles, 12, 41–2, 49, 61; significance of,151–2; social activity consists of playing, 17; structural analysis, 23–7;theoryof,14;therapeutic,48;thesaurusof,61–147;thesis,48;transactionalparadigm,49,62,155–7;typical,45–53;useofword,45Genesisofgames,52–4Goodgames,143–7

Groups,psychotherapy,54

Health,gamesnecessaryfor,55–6Homosexuality,108Hypertensionorcoronarydisease,159Hypnosis,103

Infants,stimulationof,13,15Intervalsoftime,38Intimacy,11,17,18,151,160,163;game-free,55

Jerks,gamesplayedby,153–4,159,161Jokes,practical,121–2

Kleptomaniacs,118

Lifegames,64–79

Manoeuvres,44,47,108Maritalgames,80–95Masochism,51,109Materialprogramming,16Mathematicaltheoryofgames,12Moneygames,72–3Moves,games,49–50,62

NewGuinea,villagers,71,161

Operation,44Overstimulation,14

Paradigm,transaction,49,62,155–7

Paranoia,73,78,84,126Parent,23,33,39,41,42,88,98,102,104,105,125,127,142,151,153,154,159,160;directandindirectform,25;egostate,23;functions,26–7Partygames,96–107Pastimes,18,38–43,122,151;classificationof,38–9;confirmationofrole,41; definition of, 16, 38; existential advantage, 42; functions of, 40; associal-selectionprocess,41–3Payoff,12,44,48,55Persona,41Play,characteristicsof,17;useof,word,45Players,153–4Position,confirmationof,51;stabilizationof,42Prigs,gamesplayedby,154Prisoners,120–21Procedures, contaminated, 33; definition, 33; effectiveness, 33; efficient,33;programming,33Programming,16–18,33;transactions,33

Rats,experimentswith,15Reality,staticanddynamic,33Recognition-hunger,14,15,17Reticularactivatingsystem,13Ritualisticinterchanges,16Rituals,49,108;definition,34;greetings,34–6;informalandformal,34–5;stroke,35–6Roles,ingames,49;confirmationof,42;egostatesand,49,61;femaleandmale,12

Sadism,109SanFranciscoSocialPsychiatrySeminars,19,58,160Schizophrenia,82,153Selectionofsocialcompanions,40–42,52Sensorydeprivation,13Sexualgames,80,108–15Significanceofgames,151–2Socialaction,46Socialcontact,46;advantagesof,18

Socialdeprivation,13Socialdynamics,46,53Socialintercourse,13–15;theoryof,13;transactionunitof,15,38Socialprogramming,16–17Socialpsychiatry,47Socialpsychology,47Social-selectionprocess,40–42,52Sociology,47Solitaryconfinement,13Spontaneity,160,162Squares,gamesplayedby,153–4Stimulus-hunger,13–14,15,17Stroking,49;definition,14–15;effectsof,14;procurementof,18; rituals,35–6Structuralanalysisofgames,23–7;diagram,24–5;terminology,26Structure-hunger,15,17Sulks,gamesplayedby,153,159,161Surgeryaddicts,97–8

Tension,reliefof,18Thesisofgames,48,61Time-structuring,15–19;optionsfor,18‘Togetherness,’163Transactions,advantagesgainedfrom,18;analysis,28–32,47;angular,31–2, 45; classification of, 28–32; complementary, 28; crossed, 29; asdefensiveoperations,18;definition,15,28;duplex,32,45;paradigm,49,62, 155–7; procedures and rituals, 33–7; programming, 33; relationshipdiagram,31; response,28;satisfactionsfrom,18; stimulus,ulterior, 31–2,91,143;unitofsocialintercourse,15,38

*Inunderworldslang‘patsy’oncemeantallright,orsatisfactory,andlatercametodenotea‘pigeon’.

* The examples given for this and the next game (YDYB) follow thosegivenpreviouslybytheauthorinTransactionalAnalysis.

СодержаниеPrefaceIntroductionPARTONEANALYSISOFGAMES1StructuralAnalysis2TransactionalAnalysis3ProceduresandRituals4Pastimes5GamesPARTTWOATHESAURUSOFGAMES

Introduction6LifeGames

1.Alcoholic2.Debtor3.KickMe4.NowI’veGotYou,YouSonofaBitch5.SeeWhatYouMadeMeDo

7MaritalGames1.Corner2.Courtroom3.FrigidWoman4.Harried5.IfItWeren’tforYou6.LookHowHardI’veTried7.Sweetheart

8PartyGames1.Ain’tItAwful2.Blemish3.Schlemiel4.WhyDon’tYou–YesBut

9SexualGames1.Let’sYouandHimFight2.Perversion3.Rapo

4.TheStockingGame5.Uproar

10UnderworldGames1.CopsandRobbers2.HowDoYouGetOutofHere3.Let’sPullaFastOneonJoey

11ConsultingRoomGames1.Greenhouse2.I’mOnlyTryingtoHelpYou3.Indigence4.Peasant5.Psychiatry6.Stupid7.WoodenLeg

12GoodGames1.Busman’sHoliday2.Cavalier3.HappytoHelp4.HomelySage5.They’llBeGladTheyKnewMe

PARTTHREEBEYONDGAMES13TheSignificanceofGames14ThePlayers15AParadigm16Autonomy17TheAttainmentofAutonomy18AfterGames,What?

AppendixTheClassificationofBehaviourIndexofPastimesandGamesAuthorIndexSubjectIndex