-Boni Amin

Introduction:

Almighty Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala has prescribed certain rights of the husband towards their

wives. The Holy Qur’an says: “The women have almost the same rights over men as men have

certain rights over the women in kindness.”

In another verse:

ن نفس واحدة الذي يا أيها الناس اتقوا ربكم الذي خلقكم م وخلق منها زوجها وبث منهما رجاال كثيرا ونساء واتقوا للاه

كان عليكم رقيبا تساءلون به واألرحام إن للاه

“O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam)

He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allâh

through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship)[].

Surely, Allâh is Ever an AllWatcher over you”.(4:1)

Beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: “Best among you are those who behave

well with their women.”

The basis of husband-wife relationship is love and compassion. The first and worthiest condition

of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to "keep the promise or promises he made to the wife

at the time he married her." This is an order of the Prophet [salla Allahu `alayhi wa alihi wa

sallam, according to the hadith:

"احق الشهورة عن توفو به ما استحللتم به من الفروز"

Husband cannot order her to do anything that is against religion. The Prophet (s) said: "No

obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the Creator"

"ال تعطن لمخلوقين في معصية الخالق"

Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these

duties are some which are shared by both husband and wife. I will mention some of the texts of

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the Qur'aan and Hadeeth which have to do with the duties of the spouses towards one another,

quoting also from the commentaries and views of the scholars.

The Duties of Husband towards wife in Islam

Islam has put great stress on the relationship of husband and wife. It has clearly laid down the

respective rights and obligations to avoid confusion and complication in this regard. The basis of

husband-wife relationship is love and compassion1. In this regard the Quran states,

ن أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل ة ورحمة إن في ذلك ليات لقوم يتفكرون ومن آياته أن خلق لكم م ود بينكم م

"And among His sings is this that He has created mates from among yourselves, that you may live

in comfort with them, and he has put love and compassion among you (husband and wife). Surely

in that are sings for those who think " (30: 21)

1. Financial rights: The wife has financial rights over her husband, which is the dowry (mahr),

spending and accommodation. And she has non-financial rights, such as fair division between

co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful

way by her husband.

A. The Mahr (Dowry):

This is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is

completed or when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay to

the woman regardless of the amount or type of mahr, even one riyal, a book, a promise of certain

education or a silver/golden ring,2 …etc.

Allah SWT said3-

ا وراء ذلكم أن تبتغوا بأموالك والمحصنات من النساء عليكم وأحل لكم م ير إال ما ملكت أيمانكم كتاب للاه حصنين م م

كان عليما مسافحين فما استمتعتم به منهن فآتوهن أجورهن فريضة وال جناح عليكم فيما تراضيتم به من بعد الفريضة إن للاه

حكيما

“Also (forbidden are) women already married, except those (captives and slaves) whom your right

hands possess. Thus has Allâh ordained for you. All others are lawful, provided you seek (them in

marriage) with Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) from

your property, desiring chastity, not committing illegal sexual intercourse, so with those of whom

you have enjoyed sexual relations, give them their Mahr as prescribed; but if after a Mahr is

prescribed, you agree mutually (to give more), there is no sin on you. Surely, Allâh is Ever All-

Knowing, AllWise”

1 “Islamic Law regarding rights and obligations of husband and wife”

2http://www.jdci.org/103ARTICLES/ARTICLESVIEW/tabid/64/ArticleId/40/Husband-and-wife-rights-and-duties.aspx

3 Sura Al-Nisa- 24

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B. Spending:

The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the

condition that the wife makes herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then

she is not entitled to that spending. The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the

woman is available only to her husband, because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed

to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for

her, and this is in return for her making herself available to him for his pleasure4.

Allah SWT said-"but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother's food and clothing

on a reasonable basis" "Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose

resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him"

C. Accommodation. This is also one of the wife's rights, which means that her husband should

prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. The Quran Indicates-

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means"

2. Non-financial rights

(i) Fair Treatment Of Co-Wives. One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that

she and her co-wives should be treated fairly, if the husband has other wives, with regard

to nights spent with them, spending and clothing.

(ii) Kind Treatment. The husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to

her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him.

3. Maintenance and its components:

a. Residence.

The wife’s maintenance entails her incontestable right to loading, clothing, food, and general

care5. In Islam however there seem to be no prescribed patterns of residence. The specific location

of residence may be chosen bilaterally or by the husband alone according to his means without

causing her to suffer. The Quran says6-

يكفر عنه سيئاته ويعظم له أجرا أنزله إليكم ومن يتق للا وهن ذلك أمر للا ن وجدكم وال تضار سكنوهن من حيث سكنتم م وا بينكم والت حمل فأنفقوا عليهن حتى يضعن حملهن فإن أرضعن لكم فآتوهن أجورهن وأتمر لتضيقوا عليهن وإن كن أ

بمعروف وإن تعاسرتم فسترضع له أخرى

4 “Rights of Husband and Wife in Islam. Page-47 5 'Abd al-'Ati, Hammudah “The family structure in Islam” page- 149 6 Sura al talaq, 5-6

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“That is the Command of Allâh, which He has sent down to you, and whosoever fears Allâh and

keeps his duty to Him, He will remit his sins from him, and will enlarge his reward. Lodge them

(the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means, and do not treat them in such a

harmful way that they be obliged to leave. And if they are pregnant, then spend on them till they

deliver. Then if they give suck to the children for you, give them their due payment, and let each of

you accept the advice of the other in a just way. But if you make difficulties for one another, then

some other woman may give suck for him (the father of the child)”65:5-6

b. Other component of maintenance: the wife has the right to be clothed, fed, and cared for by

the husband, in accordance with his means and her life style. This right is to be exercised

without extravagance and miserliness7. The Quran emphasizes-

ضاعة وعلى المولود لف له رزقهن وكسوتهن بالمعروف ال تك والوالدات يرضعن أوالدهن حولين كاملين لمن أراد أن يتم الر

نهما وتشاور نفس إال وسعها ال تضآر والدة بولدها وال مولود له بولده وعلى الوارث مثل ذلك فإن أرادا فصاال عن تراض م

فال جناح عليهما وإن أردتم أن تسترضعوا واعلموا أن للاه آ آتيتم بالمعروف واتقوا للاه بما أوالدكم فال جناح عليكم إذا سلمتم م

تعملون بصير

“The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents)

who desire to complete the term of suckling, but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the

mother's food and clothing on a reasonable basis. No person shall have a burden laid on him

greater than he can bear. No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor father

on account of his child. And on the (father's) heir is incumbent the like of that (which was

incumbent on the father). If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due

consultation, there is no sin on them. And if you decide on a foster suckling-mother for your

children, there is no sin on you, provided you pay (the mother) what you agreed (to give her) on

reasonable basis. And fear Allâh and know that Allâh is All-Seer of what you do.” 2:233

c. Maintenance in sickness: the Quran and Sunnah have enjoined care for and kindness to the

wife. Yet, there are differences of opinion to its application. Ibn Taymiyya, he pointed out

that a sick wife is unquestionably entitled to full maintenance by the husband in the opinion of

the four founders of the major school of law8. Some western scholar pointed out that is that the

husband is not legally responsible for the cost of medicine, the physician’s fee etc. others

jurists argue that even if he is not legally responsible for the cost, it is still his religious duty to

bear the responsibility out of compassion, courtesy, or in conformity with the social norms9.

d. Maintenance in Recalcitrance: In the case of Recalcitrance to her husband, the wife is not

entitled to maintenance by the husband. It may be overt and covert. The Quran states that- “if a

husband is fearful of his wife’s Recalcitrance, he may follow a three-step redemptive course.

(i) he must exhort with sound advice and guidance. If does not solve the problem, (ii) he must

take the second step by “abandoning” her bed. And if that does not solve the situation, (iii)

then the third step is to apply physical disciplining, e.g slapping or hitting in a way that is not

humiliating, injurious, or deformative10.”

7 'Abd al-'Ati, Hammudah “The family structure in Islam” page- 151 8 Cf. Demombynes (1) p-142 9 'Abd al-'Ati, Hammudah “The family structure in Islam” page- 153 10 'Abd al-'Ati, Hammudah “The family structure in Islam” page- 158

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e. Maintenance on poverty: In the Hanafi school of law if the husband experiences financial

difficulties his obligations remain, and the wife shall be supported by her relatives who would

be responsible for her if were not married. Also, she may be informed that she has the option

of borrowing on his behalf in proportion to her needs11.

4. Good Conduct: Good conduct and behavior is necessary towards; everyone but Rasulullah

has; singled out womenfolk with the emphatical term of "wasiyat" which everyone grants great

importance and significance, This is sufficient to explain the importance of kindness to

women.

“Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: "I enjoin upon you the importance of good

conduct f to your womenfolk”

In another Hadith the Prophet said-

"Amongst the most perfect of mumins in Imaan is he who is best Character and amongst the best

of them is he who kindest towards his wife."

5. The Believing Women

How simple Islam has made matters for the believing women that for them paradise can be

acquired by minimal effort. Rasulullah said: "The woman who dies in the state of her husband

being pleased with her will enter Jannah ."

6. The Basic Islamic Duties: In other words if she fulfils the basic Islamic duties upon (her then

without great exertion in ibadah and worship she will attain lofty stages. Rasulullah said: "The

woman who reads her five namaazes, fasts in the month of Ramadhan, protects her chastity

and is obedient to her I husband; such a woman will enter into Jannah from any of the doors

she wishes to enter from."

7. A husband has sex with his wife, as a plow goes into a field. Your women are your fields, so

go into your fields whichever way you like12. The Quran says-2:223

واعلموا أن موا ألنفسكم واتقوا للاه ر المممنين نسآؤكم حرث لكم فأتوا حرثكم أنى شئتم وقد القوه وبش كم م

8. A male gets a double share of the inheritance over that of a female: The share of the male

shall be twice that of a female13. The Quran in Sura 4:11 says-

كر مثل حظ األنثيين فإن كن نساء فوق اثنتين فلهن ثل في أوالدكم للذ وإن كانت واحدة فلها النص يوصيكم للاه ف ثا ما تر

إن كان له ولد فإن لم يكن له ولد وورث ا تر دس مم نهما الس ه وألبويه لكل واحد م ه الثلث فإن كان له إخوة فأم ه أبواه فأم

11 'Abd al-'Ati, Hammudah “The family structure in Islam” page- 159

13 (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 311)

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دس من بعد وصية يوصي بها أو دين كان عليما الس إن للاه ن للاه آبآؤكم وأبناؤكم ال تدرون أيهم أقرب لكم نفعا فريضة م

حكيما

9. A wife may remarry her ex—husband if and only if she marries another man and then

this second man divorces her: And if the husband divorces his wife (for the third time), she shall

not remain his lawful wife after this (absolute) divorce, unless she marries another husband and the

second husband divorces her. [In that case] there is no harm if they [the first couple] remarry 14

. The

Quran in Sura 2:230 says-

يره فإن طلقها فال جناح عليهما أ وتلك فإن طلقها فال تحل له من بعد حتى تنكح زوجا ن يتراجعا إن ظنا أن يقيما حدود للاه

يبينها لقوم يعلمون حدود للاه

10. The wife as Amanah: The hadith clearly admonishes man not to abuse his authority over

woman and to fear his Creator in regard to his dealings with them as Allah has placed them in

his trust, by making them lawful for him through the sacred bond of nikah. If the husband

maltreats them, in reality he is misappropriating the trust that Allah has entrusted to him,

What an honorable position Islam has secured for women that Allah himself takes their affairs as

His responsibility!

“On the occasion of Hajjatul-Wida (The Farewell Hajj) Rasulullah among other advices said with

regard to women; "0 People! fear Allah with regard to your wives. You have taken them into your

possession with the permission of Allah."

Roles and Responsibilities of Husband:

The Sustenance/Maintenance Of His Wife:

Every husband has the obligation to provide for the sustenance of his wife. She should be provided

with adequate food, a comfortable home, suitable clothes and other basic amenities of life. He

should always bear in mind that this woman has disassociated herself from her parents, brothers

and sisters, relatives and friends and has joined him to share all the ups and downs of life. Hence,

it has become his duty to look after her basic needs and comforts.15

The Quran says16-

بعضهم على بعض وبما أنفقوا من أموالهم فا ل للاه امون على النساء بما فض جال قو الحات قانتات حافظات للغيب بما الر لص

والالتي تخافون نشوز هن فعظوهن واهجروهن في المضاجع واضربوهن فإن أطعنكم فال تبغوا عليهن سبيال حفظ للاه إن للاه

كان عليها كبيرا

14 . (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 165)

15 A Husband’s Duties towards his Wife. Page-3 16 Sura Al-Nisa-34

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“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala has

given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means.”

The Physical Needs:

The husband should satisfy his wife’s physical needs. The Sharee’ah has not prescribed any limit

for this. But, he has to ensure that woman’s minimum sexual requirements are met so that she may

not commit a sin by eyeing other men in order to quench her thirst. There are certain men who,

after marriage, do not take care of the sexual needs of their wives. Such people are great sinners

and will be severely convicted in the Court of Allah SWT. Caring for one's wife's sexual

fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet (s) warned against rushing to gratify one's

pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly

withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he

should not refuse. Almighty Allah SWT has granted women the right to conjugal relations with

their husbands. The Quran enjoins by saying-

واعلموا أن موا ألنفسكم واتقوا للاه ر المممنين نسآؤكم حرث لكم فأتوا حرثكم أنى شئتم وقد القوه وبش كم م

Your women are your fields, so go into your fields whichever way you like

Beating Wife:

The husband should not beat up his wife without her committing a most severe crime. The

Messenger of Allah PBUH has said: “Nobody should beat up his wife as he does beat up his slave.

He should make love with her later some time.”

However, if the woman commits a bigger crime, the husband can beat her not in vengeance but

with the intention of reforming her and as a warning. While beating, he should take care that she

should not be hurt seriously. The Books of Fiqha have mentioned that the husband can punish his

wife for four things:

a. If the husband orders his wife to decorate herself with ornaments and legitimate make-up but

she disobeys and remains dirty.

b. If the husband invites her to bed and she refuses without any legitimate reason.

c. If she does not take bath to purify herself after menses.

d. If she abstain from performing Salaah without a legitimate reason.

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Taking Care:

In order to bring peace and prosperity in the married life, both the wife and the husband should

take care of each other’s sentiments and emotions. The anger of husband brings to the wife

nothing but tension, depression and confusion. Similarly, the anger of the wife brings to the

husband nothing but disappointment, mental torture, frustration and bitterness. It is, therefore,

advisable to both husband and wife to be patient and compassionate in their dealings.

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Never Appreciate The Beauty Of Strange Woman In Front Of His Wife: The husband should

never appreciate the beauty and other merits of strange woman in front of his wife. This may lead

to create jealousy and suspicion in the mind of his wife. She would think that her husband has

some illicit relations with that woman. This thought is a poison that kills matrimonial relations. If

a man cannot tolerate that his wife should wrongly be associated with another man, the wife also

cannot tolerate another woman to share her husband. The woman cannot listen to praise and

admiration of another woman through the lips of her husband even if that another woman happens

to be his mother or sister or some other close relative.

Seeking the Consent of Wife:

The husband, while setting out on a tour, should go to his wife and informally seek her consent in

a loving manner and as a matter of goodwill. He may ask her to invoke the Almighty Allah

SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala that the journey may prove safe and beneficial for him. Similarly, while

returning from the tour he should bring some exclusive gifts for her. This gesture would encourage

the wife to think with satisfaction that my husband loves me to the extent that even if he was away

engaged in his business activities, he remembered me. Thus, a simple initiative on the part of the

husband will win over the heart of his wife.

Appreciating For Good Deeds:

Husband always should appreciate his wife if she does any good deeds. If the woman brings

anything from her father’s house or prepares herself and presents it to the husband, he should

express gratitude and appreciate it. This will please her. The husband should never reject or

discard or criticize any gift offered by his wife.

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Expressing Full Confidence Towards Wife:

The husband should express his full confidence and trust in his wife and, to prove this, he should

hand over the domain of the house to her so that she may feel dignified and involved. The Holy

Prophet of Islam SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said that the woman is the guardian and

caretaker of her husband’s house and Almighty Allah SubHanuhu wa Ta'ala will take an account

from her in this regard on the Day of Judgement.

Not To Share The Secret Of Wife:

The husband should never share the secrets of her wife with others. Sayyiduna Rasoolullah

SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: “Worst is the person in the sight of Allah SubHanuhu wa

Ta'ala who goes to his wife and then discloses her secrets and lowers her status in the eyes of

others”.

To Become Smart:

The husband should be neat and clean as he expects the same from his wife. He should look smart,

dynamic and a loveable person. The husband also should provide her with the paraphernalia of

personal hygiene such as soap, hair oil, comb, Mehndi, perfumes, etc. so that the wife may keep

herself neat and clean and in better looks.

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Equal Treatment:

If a man possesses more than one wife, it is obligatory on him to do justice with them. There

should be equal treatment among wives in respect of sustenance, living conditions and personal

attention. He has to spend equal time with every one of them. The Holy Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi

wa Sallam has said that if a man has two wives and does not treat them equally, he would be

raised on the Day of Judgment with half his body paralysed.17

To Become Soft Minded:

If the husband faces some trouble because of the miss behavior of his wife, he should try to avoid

her and keep patience. Woman’s arrogance and foolishness is a natural phenomenon. The Glorious

Prophet of Islam SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam has said: “Woman has been created from the bent

rib of Adam Alaihis Salam. If somebody tries to make the bent bone straight, it will rather break

instead of becoming straight”. Similarly, if someone tries to set his wife right, there will be more a

chance of separation instead of improvement in her nature18.

The Effect of The Duties Of Husband In The Society

It has a countless effect of fulfilling the duties of Husband towards wife in the society. Marriage in

Islam is described as a partnership, with each spouse contributing to the common welfare and

health of the family unit. Cooperation between husband and wife is required, and each couple has

some flexibility in their own family arrangements.

If a Husband fulfills his wife’s desire with a perfect way which Islam has laid down, all collision

will be removed from the society. The Prophet SM said- “the evil, Saitaan sits on the water and

asks his followers about their jobs then one of them says I did this and this. The evil says you did

nothing. And again another one comes and says that I made quarrel between a Husband and wife

then Saitaan says you have done very good deeds”

It clearly indicates that family is the first unit of a society made by one Husband and Wife. So if

there is fight between them then it results in the society at a large. Every one of our modern era

knows that which behavior is good for a Husband towards a wife and which behavior is good for a

Wife towards her Husband by using their Aql. So therefore, a Husband should always follow the

role and responsibility towards his wife to bring the peace and harmony in the society. If the true

structure of the family in Islam is successfully brought to the attention of the Muslim leaders now

a days they may well discover how the classic solutions of Islam can help to solve their modern

problem in the society.

17 Gateway to Heaven" by Hadrat Allama Sayyid Shah Aal-e-Rasool Nazmi Barakati. Page- 30

18 “Some Responsibilities of the Husband and Rights of the Wife in Islam” by Dr. G. F. Haddad. Page-36

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Conclusion:

The Qur'an describes husbands and wives in this way:

فث إلى نسآئكم هن لباس لكم وأنتم لباس لهنه يام الر كم ليلة الص

“They are garments for you, and you are garments for them” (Qur'an 2:187).

A garment, used as a metaphor in this verse, gives a person warmth, protection, comfort, and

decency. Ideally, this is what a husband and wife offer each other.

These are only some of the basic duties of the husband in Islam. The state of marriage is part of

one's adherence to the Sunnah and an exalted state of life indeed. In the words of the Prophet (s), it

permits one to meet Allah "pure and cleansed" (tahiran mutahharan). One's behavior towards

one's wife is the measure of the perfection of one's belief as the Prophet (s) said: "The most

complete of the believers in his belief is he who perfects his manners, and the best of you in

manners are those who act best towards their wives."

Marriage must be approached with utmost seriousness, entered with the purest intent, and

cultivated religiously as it does not come cheaply and it carries immense reward. The Prophet (s)

called it "his way" (al-nikahu sunnati) and "half of religion" and he also said: "Two rak`at (prayer-

cycles) of the married person are better than seventy rak`at of the unmarried." He also warned that

among the greatest of responsibilities that had been placed upon men is that pertaining to the

treatment of their wives.

Every one of us should take care of our responsibility when we will have wife. We must follow

the way of Allah SWT and his Apostle so that we can be an ideal Husband and can achieve the

most wanted Jannah in the hereafter. May Allah SWT give his Baraka to all of us so that we can

follow His rules. And may Allah's blessings and peace be upon Muhammad, his Family and all his

Companions, and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

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References:

'Abd al-'Ati, Hammudah “The family structure in Islam” Publisher: Selangor,

Malaysia :The Other Press, Pub Year: 2008 Pages: xi, 360 p. ; ISBN:

9789839541632

Ajijola, Adeleke Dirisu, 1932 “The concept of family in Islam” Ed. 2008. Publisher:

New Delhi: Adam Publishers & Distributors, Pub Year: 2008 Pages:

xxiii, 254 p.: ISBN: 8174351914, 9788174351913.

Neusner, Jacob, 1932- “The ethics of family life: what do we owe one another?"

Publisher: Belmont, CA :Wadsworth/Thomson Learning, Pub Year:

2001 Pages: xii, 167 p. ; ISBN: 0534530559

Zainah Anwar “Islam and family planning” Publisher: Petaling Jaya :Sisters In

Islam, Pub Year: 2003 Pages: ii, 18 p. ; ISBN: 9839900862

Website:

1) http://www.sunnah.org/msaec/articles/responsibilities_husband.htm

2) http://www.jdci.org/103ARTICLES/ARTICLESVIEW/tabid/64/ArticleId/40/

Husband-and-wife-rights-and-duties.aspx

3) http://www.opinion-maker.org/2011/04/a-husbands-duties-towards-his-wife/