MAY (SECOND) 2017 ` 40

STOPPING THEBOSS FROM DISLIKING YOU!

DO WOMEN HANKER FOR RECOGNITION?

PLAN YOUR CONCEPTION

IT IS NOT BAD TO HAVE REGRETS

WHAT GIVES THE MOST SEXUAL PLEASURE?

6 GRIPPINGSTORIES

DO WOMEN HANKER FOR RECOGNITION?

IT IS NOT BAD TO HAVE REGRETS

6 GRIPPINGSTORIES

07 20

7610 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDTOTALLY TAKE A DETOX PRADISESpecial Correspondent

42

Articles

Coo

kery

BUILDS HAPPY HOMESwomansera.com

Founder: Vishwa Nath (1917-2002)

Vol 44, Issue No. 1043MAY (SECOND) 2017

REGRESSIONPriyanka Bidua

63 HOLIDAY FUNVandana Aggarwal

64 HASSLING HABITSDIE HARDMaharaaj K. Koul

67 BETA, WHERE ISYOUR BINDI?Saloni Maheshwari

68 PROTECTIONBEFORE YOUCONCEIVEDr Sonal Agarwal

74 CONCEPT OFRIGHT & CRIMINALJUSTICE IN CYBER AGEAshutosh Agarwal

80 LOOKING FOR LOVE?Vibhor Sharma

102 WONDER WHYWEIGHT CREEPS UPON YOU?Kalpana M Naghnoor

104 CASHEW NUTS –WHY IT IS HEALTHYPushpa Bhatia

116 THE ANDAMANAND NICOBAR ISLANDSRenu Singh

120 PIALI –THE CURRY BISTROAsmita Arora

122 SOLAR POWER ANALTERNATIVE SOURCEOF ENERGYSuman Bajpai

10 REMAINING FITIN SUMMERPushpa Bhatia

HELLOW SUMMER!Tanya Malik

245 SIGNS YOURBOSS HATES YOUVibhore Sharma

38WONDER WEAR, THEY NAME IS COMFORTPriyanka Chauhan

Meal One

Grilled pineapple and broccoli withsour cream

Cold tomato and corn on a cob soup

Vegetarian club sandwich

Meal Two

Saffron almond rice

Chicken tikkas marinated with green mango paste

Bell peppers and peas withmayonnaise

and many more...

32 3 BAD HABITS EVERYCHILD LEARNS FROMPARENTS Vibhor Sharma

51 CONFLUENCE OFWOMEN ENTREPRENEURS

SUMMER MEALS

Editor, Publisher & PrinterPARESH NATHPrinted at Delhi Press Samachar PatraPte Ltd., A-36, Sahibabad, Ghaziabadand Delhi Press, E-3, JhandewalaEstate, New Delhi-110 055 andpublished on behalf of Delhi PressPatra Prakashan Pte Ltd. from E-3,Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055.Managing Editor:DIVESH NATHEditor@WomansEra.comContribution articles and storieswrite@womansera.comFor advertising and productpromotion queries:advertising@womansera.comTo participate in features:features@womansera.comOpinion on articles:letters@womansera.comSubscriptions and others:admin@womansera.com

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14 WILL PAVESTHE WAYK. Mallikarjunan

28 HIS DARK PASTStan Ageira, Mulki

60 THE FLOWERWOMANLovely Dutta Prusty

70 DRIFTINGAPARTRama Rao

112 THE FRUITOF PATIENCERatnadip Acharya

124 THE HUNTFOR AN EGGRamachran Ramnath Harshana

Features

Fiction9 STOIC ANDBEAUTIFUL (Poem)

23 BEAUTY QUERIES

34 TWO CROWS (Poem)

35 TEENACHE

40 THE ROAD KNOWSALL... (Poem)

41 YOUR BODY

66 PERSONAL PROBLEM

73 HAR DIN MA KA(Poem)

Read

ers’

C

onte

sts

26 THE INCIDENT I CANNOT FORGET

48 HOW I WAS DUPED

49 SOME LITTLEKNOWN FACTS (QUIZ)

129 AS YOU SAY

52108106

TREADMILL

Fash

ion

99 MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS AND ME...

100 MUMBAI FILMDOM

105 SHEDDING SKIN(Poem)

114 HOUSEHOLD HINTS

115 KITCHEN QUERIES

119 CROSSWORD

128 CLASSIFIEDS

36NEWS IN PICTURES

NOT SIZE, HERE GIRTHMATTERS!Maharaaj K. Koul

THE ROMANCE OFWARREN HASTINGSP. V. Ramanathan

On the Cover:Model: KristinaAgency: Top ModelsMake-up: Nivedita NayakHair Stylist: HemaConcept & Photography: Niloy Kumar De

Wewrite to: editor@womansera.com

EDITORIAL

Madhya Pradesh minister of panchayat and ruraldevelopment, Gopal Bhargava has advised newlywedded women to beat their drunkard husbands

with mallet. His advice could be seen as an invocation ofshelving law and order only. It is great irony that being apart of the government and the system, the minister oughtto play a leading role in maintaining law and order. But he isadvising women to take law into their hands.

The minister doled out this advice during a groupwedding ceremony in which around 700 girls got married.During the ceremony, the minister presented these newbrides mallets that had inscription ‘Sharabion ke sutara hetubhent, police nahin bolegi’, means ‘gift to beat thedrunkards, police won’t intervene’.

If women really begin to implementhis advice, its social impact would bevisible soon. If a person drinks liquorand unleashes commotion or unrulybehaviour against his wife, familymembers or anybody, there are legalprovisions to deal with such a person.But resorting to violence cannot besupported on any ground.

Besides, if the drunkard gets injuredor dies after beating with mallet, howthe minister would provide protectionto the assailant (in this case, wife)from police action. But our respectedminister did not think it necessary tofirst create such situation as would discourage a man fromdrinking or even if he drinks, desist from misbehaving withhis wife.

There are several laws to protect women fromharassment and domestic violence including DomesticViolence Act. The need is to generate awareness amongwomen and empower them to seek help under these lawsfor protection from any type of violence.

The minister could have advised these women aboutthis also. Of course, women face problems when theirhusbands drink alcohol and get violent. Last year, BiharGovernment banned liquor and mopped up huge supportfrom women. Can the minister not advise his government inMadhya Pradesh to follow in the footsteps of BiharGovernment?

REFORMINGDRUNKARDS, BJP WAY

JUSTICE TO NIRBHAYA

The Supreme Court has upheld the death sentencesawarded to the four accused involved in brutalgangrape and murder of Nirbhaya on the night of 16

December 2012. With its final verdict, the apex court hasendorsed the decision of lower courts and ensured thatjustice is done to the victim, her family and all those whowere emotionally connected with this case.

The Supreme Court judges termed this incident as themost heinous and outworldly in nature in their judgment. Infact, this incident raised several questions about ourinnumerous achievements and social development. Thenature and brutility of the crime committed againstNirbhaya triggered a wave of anger all over the countryand compelled the government and entire system to realiseits duty, which was followed by constitution of Justice JSVerma Committee and subsequent framing of acomprehensive law against sexual harassment based onthe recommen dations of this Committee. It was already aresponsibility of the government which, if had beendischarged properly, could have prevented the crime in thefirst place and Nirbhaya would not have died a stigmatiseddeath.

In this sense, judgment reinstates our belief in justice.Any punishment is meant for reform and embodies a lesson.

In this case, the court did not see anyhope in reforming the accused. Deathsentence is a lesson for them that theyhave no option now and they mustaccept death on the gallows. Impulsiveanger in society against such heinouscrimes can momentarily compel thegovernment to take prompt steps andcreate a background for justice. Butmuch more needs to be done to bringin overall reform in the society.

There have been cases of brutalsexual violence after the Nirbhaya rapeand murder; and before it. Are we trulyangry about the impunity of sexualviolence in India? Just a day before the

Nirbhaya judgment, the Bombay High Court turned downthe death penalty for those accused of gangraping 19-year-old pregnant Bilkis Bano and murdering her family, includingher three-year-old daughter, during the Gujarat riots of2002. It did, however, uphold life sentences of five Gujaratpolice officers who fudged documents and compromisedthe investigation. Should the outcome of a rape casedepend on the vagaries of public sentiment? All victims ofsexual violence face hurdles – from the perception ofstigma that encourages silence, to an investigative andjudicial system that mirrors the misogyny of our culture, tothe general indifference of the process. All these hurdleshave to be removed proactively. This is easier said thandone, but it must be done.

6 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

Not to be very expressive, notto be assertive in terms ofstrength, not to be dominant

in her thoughts, not to be aggressivein her day-to-day affairs. This is whatis expected of a woman always. She isalways supposed to be guided bysomebody all her life, somebody whocould be her father or husband orbrother or partner or lover. Why? Whywomen always are to be seen asvictims/objects/easy to grab things?

Since childhood, women are raisedwith the preconditioned minds andpreconceived notions of their parents,family and the regressive gender-biased society. Preconditioned mindas in with the dos and don’ts whichonly a girl child has to face.

Regression reflecting instereotyping of questions as in howthey should behave. What they shouldwear, what they should talk, how they

have to make everybody happy intheir family, what the responsibility ofa girl child is and above all, what isexpected of a girl child in order toprove her existence in this man'sworld.

With these prerequisite perceivedwarped ideas girls are commonlyraised in their families. They are madeto believe that the purpose of theirlife is to make sacrifices in order tomake everybody happy in the familybecause the more sacrifices theymake the more celebrated a womanthey are in their surroundings, familyand society. And the sad part of whichis that women themselves don’t give athought to it.

A woman’s perspectiveA woman learns to draw her

strength from the outsideenvironment in her process of

REGRESSIONWhy is it so inwomen? By Priyanka Bidua

time. She trains herself so that shecan fulfil certain criterea in terms ofher being.

These myopic regressive earlydevelopmental years becomeapparent later in life when, for herown implicitness, she sometimeschooses to victimise other women inher life in order to follow some normsof the family, society and theborrowed ethos. This is whatbecomes in many cases of dowry inwhich the mother-in-law humiliates

their daughter-in-law in order toprove herself right. She never tries tounderstand the fact behind her ownexistence, whatever she has seen inher life, her experiences, herhumiliation, her own expectations.She humiliates other women whichshe does just to prove that she hasthe ultimate control in that family, asall her life she has drawn her strengthfrom others, from the outsideenvironment.

Towards the utopia ofan ideal woman

The metamorphosis fromobediently carrying the burden of

others’ habitual ways of perceivingand valuing to one’s own

claim to creation of modesof self-perception and values

for both self and others, modesthat are less and less

regressive is difficult lies

with her. But we have many examplesfrom history from Draupadi, RaniLaxmi Bai, Mamta Banerjee, Mayawatiand Smriti Zubin Irani among others.

What is so different in thesewomen? How are these womendifferent from the rest of the world?

Why have they become so popular?Why does media talk about themagain and again? Why do we want tolisten to their perspectives on mattersthey are entrusted with?

One big and prominent reason isthat they derive their strength fromtheir inner core, the core that theyhave developed with conviction andhard work. They exude conviction andstrength with their karma. Their beliefin their own thought processes, theunconscious or conscious applicationof Ariadne’s thread in the challengeswhich they have lived up to andconquered as giants make them whothey are. The challenges would have

THE METAMORPHOSISFROM OBEDIENTLYCARRYING THE BURDENOF OTHERS’ HABITUALWAYS OF PERCEIVINGAND VALUING TO ONE’SOWN CLAIM TO CREATIONOF MODES OF SELF-PERCEPTION AND VALUESFOR BOTH SELF ANDOTHERS.

growing up since childhood. What isimplied by outside environment isthat she is conditioned in a mannerthat she will feel important only ifsomebody else, from her family ormaybe her circle of acquaintances,will say/make her realise the value ofher existence, her deeds.

The worrisome trend which thenemerges is that this woman does notgive any importance to her own innerself, her shrine. That’s what makesher dependent in terms of her ownbeing. Since childhood, a woman ismade to learn the importance ofapproval. Approvals from society,family and surroundings in terms ofher thinking, her work, her behaviourand so many other aspects of her life.She learns and absorbs the approvaland reward theory over a period of

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 9

been both personal and professional,and the panache and shine with whichthey handle supposedly in a man’sworld.

While I believe that every womanshould always be like that in terms ofstrength, let us look at morecommonplace examples which everyworking woman faces in herworkplace .When a woman is strongin her dos and don’ts , in her speech,in her behaviour, when a womandoes not take nonsensical behaviouras appropriate, when a woman doesnot involve herself in the collectiveconsciousness which is more prone tothe herd mentality of certain group ofpeople in her office, then she is likelyto be slandered. She will be treatedwith the feeling that you are no moreimportant to the system, not fit forthe system. Words like, “You are hereonly for your own time pass with abundle of dumbness” or maybe, “whythese kinds of women can’t stay backhome and bear children?” Shockingbut it is a reality.

This kind of treatment from herworkplace is very frequent if a womanis really strong. When she stopslistening to the collectiveconsciousness of the workplace whichbrands women as objects who arethere to serve in menial jobs, thenthese unseen, unnoticeable, masked,veiled, unpleasant waves ofhumiliation can be felt by her in thosesurroundings.

Actually, the problem is that wehave stereotyped the image ofwoman in general in oursubconscious. Stereotyping as in howa woman should look, behave andexpress herself as in what kind of jobshe can do, as in what her duties arelike, to be a good wife, mother,daughter. Furthermore, her primerole is to procreate. On that basis sheis judged by the populace. We are somuch ingrained with our stereotypedimage that we have laid down thedefinitions of pious/impious,loyal/disloyal, holy/unholy for her. Wethink that we have all the powers ofthe world to judge a woman on thebasis of our regressive thinking .Wehave created the box first then wewant a woman to be put into that

thinking, we talk about beti bachaobeti padhao, we talk about selfie withdaughter, we talk about Samridhibank account …But still we areregressive in our approach. Are wenot?

Still, rapes are happeningeverywhere in a most cruel andinhuman ways. Rapists are molestinygirls even after serving jail terms.Likes of which we have recentlynoticed in many media reports.People are going to any extent in theirsinful deeds, putting all their energiesin order to satisfy their lust. Myquestion to you is this: Are we tryingto control or eradicate this helplessand poor situation of a girlsuperficially OR from its roots? Rootsas in from where does this differencestart in our consciousness.

It starts from the birth of a girlchild. And change begins at home.Let’s make it meaningful. We

Amongst a thousand flowers,All in full bloom,That adorn life's amazing landscape,You are the only one,Who stands tall and young,While the others wither and fall.

In a dry and arid desert,Where nature takes us,Through its wild extremes,You are the oasis,That quenches the thirst,Of every desperate wanderer.

There is strength and warmth,In your eyes,Etched by the struggles,That destiny adorned you with.They remain like precious gems,On the dust heap,That life has offered.You still stand tall,With all grace,Amidst the challenges.

You remain stoic and beautiful,Always!

– Roy Cherian Cherukarayil.

Stoic andBeautiful

box. If for any reason she is not ableto fit in that box, we can effortlesslyand painlessly say that she is mostimperfect.

In our Hindu society, on the onehand, we pray to goddesses like Sakti/Durga on the other we don’twant our girls, wives and daughters tobe like them. Are we not living our lifesuperficially?

Man’s worldWe have been listening to many

stories, fables and watching dramas,since childhood, where man always isa protagonist. Man is mostly the doerin most stories. And then, in most ofthe families, we see a difference,subtle in some and very strong inothers, in the treatment, care, love,respect, and so much more when itcomes to a girl and a boy.

We as a society know that thisdifference is there, very prominent,very much existing and veryprevalent. What are we doing for this?Are we even thinking in this manner ?

We talk about progressive

To me, 'beauty' means to benatural, creative, honest - to say

the truth.

Bright, fresh andsunny, such is thevibe of summer. It

means the summery vibe isthe hot and blazing heat. Beit anything, we all lovesummer, no? It makes usfeel refreshed in thebeginning and soon makesus sweat under. This createsa lot of problems.

With all these problemscoming up, we just keeppraying for summers to getover. This summer you willno longer be waiting for theseason to get over. Withsome really simple hacks,you can make this summerfresh and sunny. Thesesmart hacks will keep youchilled even during soaringtemperature.

Simple hacks that work. By Tanya Malik

dp-23

Typewritten Text

11

No more sticky make-up Who wants to flaunt a sticky face

in summer? Using a foundation on ahot sunny day can create skinproblems. It is best to not use afoundation on your skin during thisseason. You must allow your skin tobreathe properly. If you really need toapply something, use a basic facescream or a tinted moisturiser duringthe day. Make sure that the productsyou are using come with a minimumof SPF 15 so that you get a layer ofprotection from the strong heatduring day time. If you need to attenda party at night, you can use mineralpowder foundation that is light onyour skin and doesn’t create patches.

is a real struggle for all women. Withsuch scratching heat, you need towash your hair almost every day.However, there are days when youreally can’t wash your hair. Thenwhat? Will you step out of your housewith sticky hair? The best way to getrid of this problem is using a dryshampoo. Dry shampoos are theperfect rescue, especially duringsummer. The best way to make thedry shampoo work on your hair isusing it it night. When applied atnight, dry shampoo absorbs all the oilfrom your scalp till the morning andyou are ready to go!

Happy feet When it is that time of the year to

ingredient that helps you fightsunburns naturally. You can directlyuse the gel from the plant or to makeit an easy task, you can freeze the gel.Take an ice tray and fill it up with aloevera gel. When it freezes, you can usethe cubes to rub over the burnt area.

Wash off sweat stains There is nothing worse than

stubborn sweat stains, especiallythose on your light coloured clothes.Summer brings along a number ofthem and we surely don’t wish to saygood bye to our favourite clothes.This problem will no longer botheryou as a simple hack can save yourfavourite piece of cloth. It is as simpleas squeezing some lemon on thestain. Yes, lemons work wonders onsweat stains. Just squeeze lemon juiceon the stain directly or fill it in a spraybottle and then spray it through thearea.

Water to the rescueWith the end of summer you may

feel that your skin has lost its charmand become dull. Do you realise why?One reason behind this isdehydration. Our body demands a lotof water during summer. Make sureyou keep yourself hydrated during theseason. Make no excuses and alwayskeep a water bottle handy. You canalso squeeze in some lemon and keepsipping it all day. It helps you to stayfit and feel fresh. You can turn tooptions like coconut water, lemonadeand fruit juices too.

Stick to natural A day out in summer can make you

sweat a lot and make you smellunpleasant. Often artificial fragrancesfade and don’t last for long. This canhappen even if you invest inexpensive perfumes. Stick to naturalingredients to get rid of the bodyodour. Make a pack of sandalwoodpowder, rosewater and fullers earthand apply it your under arms.Possessing natural cooling properties,these ingredients help you stay freshall day.

12 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

Super stay lipstickIf you are a woman obsessed with

your lipstick, no season can stop youfrom wearing it. However, when it isthe summer season, your lipstick cansweat off easily. To save your lipstickfrom bleeding, use a concealer at theedges of your lips with a brush. Thiswill keep your lipstick from sweatingoff. You can also use a tissue paper,stick it to your lips after applying thelipstick and then brush sometranslucent powder over it. This helpsyour lipstick to stay for a longerperiod. If you are someone whoalways uses a lip balm before applyinga lipstick, apply it 10 minutes beforethe lipstick.

Bye-bye oily scalp Summer brings along sweat and it

take out all our chic footwear, there isfear of blisters. There comes a patchof summer where our feet hold a lotof sweat. Then blisters knock in andmake it painful. It is because the skingets moist and friction increases aswe walk on. To prevent it, take adeodorant and spray it on your anklesand toes. This will not allow your skinto get moist and will keep the blistersat bay.

Fight sunburns Sunburn is one of the most

common problems that people faceduring summer. To prevent it at first,it is important for everyone to use agood sunscreen before stepping outof home. When it occurs, it is best toturn to aloe vera. Aloe Vera is one

We

Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it's holy ground.

dp-23

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13

“It is difficult, but notimpossible to conduct strictlyhonest business.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

Why are you wakingme up so early?”the public

prosecutor Rangacharigrumbled, yawning in bedand feeling his ageing limbscrackle as he stretched. Heobserved his middle-agedpersonal assistant bendingover him and patting. Thedeep chimes of thegrandfather pendulum clockon the wall indicated it was6 am.

“Sir, today is animportant day in the court.You have asked me to wakeyou up early, as you have tolook into the file concerned,”the assistant drew back thecurtains of the window thatoverlooked the Bay ofBengal coast atVisakhapatnam.

“Thank you, Murthy,”Chari stepped out of the cotand in a few minutes gotready for the day. Hecombed his grey-streakedhair and slid into hiscustomary white shirt andblack coat on top of darkstriped trousers as worn by

men of law. He sat at hisbreakfast placed on thetable, glancing through hisreading glasses at theheadlines of the English dailyspread beside the plate.

“Sir,” whispered theassistant standing in thetraditional coarse white shirtand dhoti.

“Yes, Mr Murthy?” Charilooked up. He could not helpfeeling proud of hisassistant’s pair of brightscholarly eyes under theageing grey eyebrowspeering at him through shell-framed glasses. A trustedB.A. belonging to older

school, and beaming amature look!

“Sir,” said Murthy, “youhave a blemishless record asa prosecutor, having had twodecades of experience as azealous and devoted lawyer.That is the number of yearsyou have supported me eversince I lost my parents. Youhave also even foregone yourmarriage to devote yourselfwholeheartedly to theprofession. It is a greatexperience to be at yourservice.”

“Yes, Murthy, I appreciateyour sentiments.”

“Though your agedparents are in the village,they are in my heart,”

How wiles beat the wily. By K. Mallikarjunan

Will Paves The WayShortStory

“Though youraged parentsare in thev i l lage, they arein my heart ,”Murthy tappedat h is chestproudly withgreat emot ion.

Vaniwas an arts

student of NationalCollege and was known

for her modesty and wasadmired as beautiful,

active andintelligent.

Murthy tapped at his chestproudly with great emotion.

“That is why you havebecome almost a member ofour family looking after allmy needs. Now I know, youwant to say something!"

“Sir, everyone is waitingto see what will be theoutcome of the rape casetoday, as this case involvesthe accused who is the son ofone of the most influentialpersonalities of the townwith a lot of money andmuscle power.”

“That is what isdisquieting, Murthy. As youknow, so far I have beensuccessful in all my cases.But today I don’t know.”

“But intuition tells me ofsuccess, sir. You have thereputation as a devoted,honest, prosecutor and havealso inherited theuprightness of your father, aretired judge. And you areably supported by InspectorPandeyji, known for honestyand efficiency. The scales ofjustice are tilted in favour ofyou. ”

“Murthy!” Mr Charichuckled and exclaimed in amock chiding tone. “Youseem to know much morethan what you should.”

“Long association withyou, sir,” smiled Murthy.“About today's case,everyone in the college alsoseems to be talking, sir.”

“How do you know whatthey talk about in thecollege?”

“Sir, driver Ramu staysvery near to the college andhe learnt about this from thegatekeeper of the college.”

“Ah! Don’t you peoplehave any other business?”uttered the prosecutoreyeing him sternly, inwardlyappreciating his benigninterest and wanting to knowmore.

Not answering the

master’s query, Murthycontinued, “Sir, what driverRamu has gathered is thatthe victim is from a middle-class family. The accusedstudent had the audacity toopenly brag in the collegenext day that he was really a‘man to do it’ just before hewas taken into custody. Andfearing his background, nostudent is willing to comeforward to support the rapevictim, though all thestudents have heartfeltsympathy for her and knowthat the incident has takenplace.”

“Okay, Murthy! I amgoing to the court as it isnearing 9 o’clock,” Charimurmured, overwhelmed byemotion. “If I lose today I donot deserve to continue asprosecutor. I will become an‘also ran’ entity incapable offacing the machinations ofthe powerful."

“As I told you, sir, youshall win.”

Nodding thoughtfully, theprosecutor reached and slidinto the car and driver Ramubegan driving the cartowards the court.

Leaning back in the seat,Mr Chari began to go

through the case file. He felthis blood boil when hethought of the brutal andarrogant character of theaccused student, Ranga. Thehelpless victim, Vani, hailedfrom a middle-class family.Her father was a teacher in amunicipal high school andher mother was no more.

Vani was an arts studentof National College and wasknown for her modesty andwas admired as beautiful,active and intelligent. Shewas attending a students'picnic party around Burrahcaves near Visakhapatnamtown. Her grandparents werestaying in that village and

she wanted to visit themafter the picnic beforereaching home back in thecity.

Ranga, a student of thesame class, offered to waitfor her at the picnic spot todrive her back home, whilethe other picnickers returnedby the college bus.

Though he hailed from apowerful family, she did

not expect him to go to thelevel of any abuse. Further,she was eager to get backhome the same night so thatshe could attend her cousin’smarriage the next day. Soshe agreed. As per her

statement, Ranga had rapedher on their way home at alonely spot. Being alone andhelpless, she tactfullypromised not to reveal theincident and thus managedto get dropped at herresidence. After reachinghome, she opened out to herfather and lodged acomplaint with the police,who had taken the accusedinto custody.

Rangachari raised hiseyes from the file and lookedout of the car windowthoughtfully. As none hadcome forward to testify thecharacter of the accused,because of his powerfulbackground, the court will

consider only the clinchingcontents of the medicalreports mainly the DNA andcolposcopic findings by theexperienced, senior forensicexpert, Dr Lakshmipathy.

Dr Lakshmipathy was aconscientious expertrespected by courts, butsuffered from a gentlenessbordering on softnessresulting in his not beingpsychologically strongenough to stand up to anymuscle power. Thisweakness of the expertprompted Chari to advise theinspector suitably and hecould recall the conversationalso. He had said, “MrPandey, please give allprotection to Dr Lakshmi -pathy and try to pre-emptany violent moves from thesupporters of the accusedeither to coerce him or toforestall the submission ofthe report hoping for an exparte decree. The reportshould be submitted to me ina sealed cover before thehearing at any cost.”

“ Sure, sir,” InspectorPandey had assured. “I alsofear that they may resort tobullying, kidnapping etc. justbefore the date for stallingthe proceedings. So, I shallask the doctor to be tactfultill then. And as per youradvice, I will provide him allprotection and obtain afrank, straightforward reportand submit it to you. I shalltake full care of not only himbut also myself.”

“Thank you, Mr Pandey.Remember the reputation ofboth of us is at stake in thiscase.”

“Okay, sir.” Despite this assurance,

Chari was continuallyhaunted by the enormity ofthe power of the accused.The car was nearing thecourt. His watch showed 10am. The inspector should

Dr Lakshmipathywas a consc ient iousexpert respected bycourts , but suf feredfrom a gent lenessborder ing onsoftness resu l t ing inh is not be ingpsycholog ica l lystrong enough tostand up to anymuscle power.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 15

have played their powerfulrole to get him freed.

The judge took his seat onthe dais and, turning to theprosecutor asked him, “Is themedical report ready?”

Feeling totally battered,Chari first looked to theentrance for any signs of theinspector. Finding none, henervously rose. He was notsure how the judge wouldreact. The judge was a sternstickler for promptness.

“Mr Chari, tell mewhether you have the reportor not.”

Just then, constableSingh, a trusted lieutenant ofPandey respectfully enteredthe hall and after a salutetowards the dais, came up toChari and whispered, “Sir,Pandey sir has not been seensince last evening and thestation got the informationthat Dr Lakshmipathy is alsomissing. No informationavailable at their residencesalso. They are all worried.Our station personnel are onthe search for them. I wantto inform you so that you canseek time, sir.”

Staggering blow! Theprosecutor turned towardsthe judge, cleared his throat,and faltered, ”Your honour,I am now informed that theinvestigating officer Sri

have obtained the reporttoday. Anxiously, Mr Charitried the inspector's phone.

What is it?It was switched off!

Pandey never wasuncommunicative.Uncertainty gripped Chari.Had my fear come true?

The car mournfullyscreeched to a halt

before the massive red-brickcourt building. Suspenseweighing him down,Rangachari got down andbegan walking through thelong corridor of the court. Hedesperately tried again forPandey’s number. Noresponse.

Weighed down byoverpowering depressionand as if he were under aspell, he reached hischamber in the court. Notrace of Pandey. What to dowithout the report or Pandeyin the court?

Chari craved hiscustomary, steamingmorning tea. Expectantly, heturned towards the doorway.He felt a welcome relief atthe sight of the boy in thecotton vest and lungicarrying, as was done daily, akettle and a short pile ofpaper cups. The boy placed acup before the prosecutorfilling it with steaming teaand walked off. Despite theenlivening flavour of thesteaming beverage, his mindreverted to the question:What to do without thereport or without Pandey?He entered the court hall andtook his seat.

The accused, alreadybrought, was standing in theenclosed space meant foraccused and was displaying amerry knowing smile. Nosigns of remorse in thoserough features. Mr Charithought that the supportersor family of the accused must

Pandey has not been seensince last evening and hiswhereabouts are not knowneven to his own family andhis own station. The forensicexpert is also missing sincelast evening. We need toascertain what happened. Itwill take time to explore hisoffice and get the reportfrom an alternative officialfrom his office. Hence it isprayed that 2 days’ time begranted for submission of thereport.”

The judge cast adissatisfied glance at the

prosecutor and said sternly,“I do not appreciate the waythe case is being handled.You should have ensuredthat the evidence is availableto the court in time.However, I can grant youonly one day’s time. If thereport is not submitted byday after tomorrow, I shall

proceed with my judgmentex-parte and may considerpassing strictures about yournegligence to submit thecrucial evidence in time. Thecourt is adjourned.” Thejudge went off the dais.

Chari turned his eyestowards the accused.

There was a gleeful, knowinggrin on the man’s face.

Kudos to the accused whoseems to be managing thewhole affair!

Reaching home theprosecutor just slumped intothe chair throwing away thebriefcase in despair. What ifPandey and Dr Laksmipathydo not turn up day aftertomorrow?

“Sir, what has happenedin the court today?” askedMurthy picking up thebrief case.

“Murthy, please don’t askme anything. I think I should

Hiswatch showed

10 am. The inspectorshould have obtained

the report today.Anxiously, Mr Charitried the inspector's

phone.

Feel ing tota l lybattered, Char i f i r stlooked to theentrance for anys igns of theinspector . F indingnone, he nervous lyrose. He was notsure how the judgewould react. Thejudge was a sternst ick ler forpromptness.

give up the post as mycherished reputation will beshattered day aftertomorrow. Even theinspector on whom I relied isnot traceable,” Chari grippedhis forehead with bothhands.

“Sir, intuition tells me youwill be rewarded day aftertomorrow, sir.”

“Dump your intuition! Letme have some fruits and alittle rest. Switch on the TV.We may know somethingabout these two people.”

The news channel camealive and the scrolling at

the bottom caughtprosecutor’s attention. Itread: “In the case whereinRanga, a student, is facingrape charges, the forensicexpert and the investigatingofficial are missing since 8pm last evening, Noinformation available eitherat their residences or theiroffices. They are suspectedto have been kidnapped bythe influential circlesupporting the accused.”

“Let me go to bed,Murthy. Fate seems to mockat me. What Pandey fearedhas happened,” he switchedoff the TV and disappearedinto his bedroom.

The morning after next,the prosecutor reached hisoffice room praying thatsomething should turn outby 11 am. He continuallyshuddered at the thought ofa crumbling reputation.

The entire court scenebefore him was like anightmare. He shivered atthe thought of facing thejudge. There was a ring onhis mobile. It was constableSingh from the policestation.

"Chari sir, so far noinformation either aboutPandeyji or about the doctor.We fear something must

have happened to them,please somehow manage thecourt, sir."

Totally devastated, Charisaid in a depressed voice,"yes." Leaning over the greenfelt-topped table andgripping his head in despair,he craved that relief,however small, afforded bythe routine sips of thefuming beverage, tea.Hopefully he glancedtowards the entrance. Oh!He was roused at the sight ofthe kettle and the papercups. This time it was abearded man in white vestand lungi with the summerpeak-cap drawn over hiseyes. As he served the tea,the prosecutor asked by wayof diverting himself, “Whathappened to the boy?”

“Oh, sir, he is my son. Hehas not come today. So Ihave come,” he walked off.

As Chari took his first sipof the beverage

relishing it, his eyes fell onthe table.A sealed envelope and afolded paper! Filled with fearand suspense, Chari read thefolded paper. A typed,unsigned message ran: “Theenvelope contains thereport. Hand it over to thejudge if you don’t know whatwill happen to you. After thejudgment, please come overto the back gate and get into

sweat drops, staggered intothe court hall and took hisseat. Weighed down bydespair, he sat shuddering inhis seat. Surely he hasreached the end of hisprofessional career.

What a shame! Am Ihanding over a report fromthe defence? If I don’t, it willbe ex-parte in defence’sfavour. If someone has seenit on my table it may beworse. I may be held guilty ofsuppressing evidence. If I do,it may exonerate...!

Just then the judge tookhis seat.

Having no way other thanto deliver it, Chari rose

and, his hands shivering,handed over the envelopeand faltered, “Your honour,here is the report.” As heglanced despairingly at theaccused, he observed amischievous smile playing onhis lips. Accused wins?

“Let me go to bed,Murthy. Fate seemsto mock at me.What Pandeyfeared hashappened,” heswitched of f the TV and d isappearedinto h is bedroom.

Havingno way other than

to deliver it, Chari roseand, his hands shivering,

handed over the envelopeand faltered, “Yourhonour, here is the

report.”

the car on the oppositepavement beside which asardar will be standing. Getdown where the driver asksyou to get down. Don’tquestion. Simply obey.”

What a daring warning!He had to obey or else... Itwas also not wise to revealthis to the court as his lifemay be under threat at theend of the court session.Better to obey. Chari felt hispulse racing and felt giddy.Inwardly conceding that theaccused had succeeded, hepicked up the envelope andthe note and, wiping the

The judge asked, “MrChari, where is theinspector?”

“Sir, he has not come andno further information,though the search is goingon.”

“Then, I order a probeinto the matter of themissing officials and let areport be submitted to thecourt after investigation asto what happened to thetwo. Now let me go throughthis report.”

There was a hushedsuspenseful silence in thecourt.

After a few minutes ofperusal, the judge

announced, “Since there isno other evidence, I rely onthis clinching report only.The operative portion says:‘In view of the forgoing, it isconcluded beyond doubtthat the accused did havephysical contact with thevictim’. It proves the chargesagainst the accused. Hence, Ihold the accused guilty. The

quantum of sentence will begiven tomorrow.” He roseand got off the dais.

It took a couple ofminutes for Chari to recoverfrom the numbing shock.The accused had beenhustled away.

Dazed Chari, steadyinghimself, hurried into thespecified vehicle aftersending his vehicle home.After a few moments, asurprise! The vehicle wasproceeding to the policestation. At the entrance,Pandey was waiting toreceive Chari. He motionedChari to a chair, when hismobile rang. Putting it on thespeaker mode, he gesturedto Chari to listen. They couldlisten to the sound ofclenched teeth. The voicetrembling with fury said,“Inspector, you will pay for it.I telephoned the expert.There was no answer. Howdare you put my son in jail?Through the media, you havespread the rumour that Ihave kidnapped the expert.

You will pay for this lie.” “What you say is perfectly

true,” replied the inspectormockingly. “To addcredibility to the rumour, Ialso disappeared into thepolice guest house, wherethe expert and I had a nicetime having a good dinner.The report is in the court.Also, a petition is being filedin the court that if anythinghappens to the doctor, youwill be the first suspect.Please await your son’sreturn home from behindbars.”

Switching off the mobileunceremoniously, the

inspector told Chariapologetically, “I fearedviolence and also an attackon me if I openly brought thereport to the court. Hencethrough the media I createdthe impression thatsomething has happened tous leading to uncertainty ofmy return to the court intime. To outwit them Iwalked as the bearded father

18 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

Asurprise! Thevehicle was

proceeding to thepolice station. At the

entrance, Pandey waswaiting to receive

Chari.

We

Our greatest fear shouldnot be of failure... but of

succeeding at things in lifethat don't really matter.

of the tea-serving boy andplaced the report as if fromthe supporters of theaccused. I used the languageof threat so that even ifdefence, watching thepresence of a note along withthe envelope, wants the noteto be made public, it wouldbe damning them only,though we could explain thematter later if need be to thecourt. Please forgive me forthe embarrassment causedto you. Have I not obeyedyour instructions?”

Patting the inspectorappreciatively, theprosecutor left for home inthe police jeep after askingRamu to drive home fromthe court directly. On theway he was weighed down,not by depression, but by abasketful of reputation asMurthy predicted.

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Is the rising sun already forcing youto lose out on your fitness game?You’re not the only one feeling

sluggish and fired in summer, therising temperature often causesirritation, stress, exhaustion,heartburn, fatigue and dizziness. Alsoit is easy to gain weight when it’s hot.Heat can lower your metabolism andcause you to lose your stamina, saynaturopaths.

While all these things might workagainst you, it’s important not to losetrack of your fitness.

Exercise comfortable: Just becauseit’s hot doesn’t mean you have to stopexercising. You can get used toexercising in the heat and usestrategies such as switching to watersports, avoiding the sun when itsstrongest and exercising in shortbursts.

Precooling techniques can alsoprevent you from overheating whenyou work in hot weather. It is veryimportant to stay correctly hydratedand it’s easy to do so with a simpleformula. Ideally, you should startdrinking water or other liquids at least15 minutes before exercising. Forevery 20 minutes spent working out,eight glasses of water should beconsumed. This is where water lossduring exercising comes into play,therefore weigh yourself before andafter your workout.

Theoretically for every kilo you’velost you should drink 16 ounces ofwater.

Pick up right sport: Some sportsbecome more popular in the summeras a way to stay cool like surfing,swimming and diving. A great way tobeat the heat is to mix your cardiowhile staying in water. It alsoincreases your resistance power andhelps you stay away from the heat.

REMAINING FIT IN

SUMMERCooling it. By Pushpa Bhatia

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21

Summer is also a great time tolearn more offbeat, off-season indoorsports like ice hockey, speed skatingand figure skating. These wintersports always require a coldtemperature to keep the ice frozen.So, you’ll have no problem beatingthe heat by finding an indoor rink.

Practicing yoga early in themorning indoors or when the sun is atits worst gives you a chance tobreathe in fresh air, which usuallydoesn’t happen in the day. Itdestresses and calms you and helpsyou resist the irritability duringsummer.

Time and place it right: Subtletweaks in your routine can help youcontinue with your workout session.It is your standard morning walk time,start off your walk running routine at. I am when the sun might not bog youdown. Alternatively, picking anevening time is also beneficial may bepost work. A great way of doingcardio without feeling bored is goingfor zumba or aerobics as it helps inmuscle conditioning maintainingbalance and flexibility.

Being food wise: As the summerkicks in it’s time to say goodbye to hotwinter indulgence and say hello to awhole new cool menu.

Frozen breakfast options not onlytaste superb, but they are quite thelookers too. Ditch a hot mug ofporridge for overnight refrigeratedoats. Mixed with ingredients like chiaseeds, nut milk yoghurt and summerberries. These no-bake no-cook frozendelights are filling, low on calories anddelicious wake-me-ups for summermornings.

Go for smoothies, vegetable juices.Grilled tomatoes, poha, barley upmaand cucumber pancakes. These willhelp cut the heat out. “Kokum,coconut water, pineapple and iceberglettuce are also excellent coolants”,suggest diet specialists.

High water-content foods likecucumbers, melons, sabji seeds orbasil seeds barley water aampanna,buttermilk and curds keep your bodycool one can generously include in thediet foods that should be avoided for

breakfast include heavy items likeparathas, puris and similar items.

Consume herbs such as shatavari

and triphala. These herbs reducestress and remove excess pitta via thecolon.

Keep it cool, skin deep: In summeryour workouts can adversely affectyour skin. Exercising in the openexposes you to not only the harmfulrays of the sun but also dust grimeand infection. Apply a water-basedmoisturizing sunscreen and a lip balmbefore a workout. Before going for aswim, apply lotions that include oliveoil. You can also hop in the showerbefore going out for the workout as ithelps to increase blood flow in yourbody. Post the workout exfoliationand cleansing is a must. Always use anauto-bacterial cleanser after workingout. Take a shower and exfoliate fromhead to toe to remove dead skinlayers. To reduce redness due to heatfrom exercising use creams withsoothing agents such as algae andmugwort.

Spray or apply rose water to pitta-affected areas rose is known to haveheat-reducing properties. Avoid usingpetroleum jelly, heavy creams andfoundations because your sweatglands are already choked.

Apply a cooling pack with a pasteof sandalwood, khuskhus seeds androsewater. It will reduce itching andsoothe your skin.

Wear right clothes to beat the heat:Make sure infants and young childrenwear cool soft cotton because theirimmature glands make them prone toheat rash. Cotton being a goodabsorber of water helps in absorbingthe sweat and exposing it theatmosphere for easy evaporation,

Know your body’s best coolingpoints- if you’re stuck in the heat andcan’t get to a cooler to know yourbody’s best cooling points e.g. yourwrist and neck. By applying an icecubewrapped in a towel (or any object) tothese pulse points, you’ll cool downmore quickly and effectively. We

EXERCISING IN THE OPENEXPOSES YOU TO NOTONLY THE HARMFULRAYS OF THE SUN BUTALSO DUST GRIME ANDINFECTION. APPLY AWATER BASEDMOISTURIZINGSUNSCREEN AND A LIPBALM BEFORE AWORKOUT.

Physical fitness is not only one of themost important keys to a healthy

body, it is the basis of dynamic andcreative intellectual activity.

I have been told that kojic acid is very good for removingspots and stains from the face. What is this acid? Is it safe? Iam a 19-year-old girl with pimple marks on the cheeks, whichI want to remove.

Kojic acid helps to inhibit the production of melanin in theskin cells and so helps to lighten spots and stains. If thepimples have left scars or pits, you may have to consider lasertherapy.

Kojic acid was discovered in Japan in 1989, and so has notbeen around for long! It is a natural product found inmushroom fungi Aspergillus oryzae. It penetrates the upperskin layers and controls the pigment- forming melanin.

Many skin creams, lotions and ointments contain kojicacid, which should not exceed 2% . There could be side effectslike rashes and irritation, so use with care.

Please tell me how to brighten up my complexion with naturalproducts. My facial skin looks very dull and sags a bit althoughI have a fair complexion. I am 40 years old.

Facial skin starts to sag gradually from the early 30s. So, agood care routine should be started even from the teen yearsto delay this. Loss of skin elasticity due to diminishing collagenis the main culprit. Use skin products containing retinol;massage face lightly with coconut oil daily before bathing.Use sunscreen when going out. A nourishing night cream alsohelps to rejuvenate cells.

To brighten the face, beat egg whites and brush on face.Let dry for 15 to 20 minutes. You willfeel your skin tightening.Then spritzface to loosen the mask and wash offwith cold water. You will see an instantbrightening of the face.

Take an ice cube and rub it on theface with circular movements for about5 minutes. Rinse with cold water, dabdry and apply moisturiser. You will lookfresh and radiant.

I have started getting puffiness under my eyes. Please tell meabout the likely causes and also the treatment for this. I am a30-year-old computer analyst who works on night shifts.

Under-eye puffiness is caused mainly by lack of sleep, eyestrain, water retention, and sometimes kidney problems. Inyour case, sleep deprivation seems to be the likely cause.

Do try to get at least 8 hours of sleep during the day. Drinkat least 7 glasses of water.

Take a bowl of ice-cold water with ice cubes. Keep 6 steelspoons dipped in it to chill. Take a cold spoon and place it onthe puffy area. When the spoon loses its chill, put it back in thebowl and take up another spoon and use it. This chilled- spoonroutine helps to shrink the swelling considerably in around 20minutes.

Place thin slices of raw potato on your closed eyes for 10minutes. You can use a paste of potato too, if you prefer, toapply on the puffy area. You can do the same routine withchilled cucumber slices.

Chill used green teabags and place on eyes for 20 minutes.The tannin in the tea reduces puffiness.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 23

Q A&Beauty Queries

I love using make-up but unfortunately, it does not stay onfor long. I find other women do not have this problem. Maybe,my technique is not correct. Please advise me.

Here are a few tips which can help you.After you have washed your face, apply a coat of primer.

Spread it evenly over the skin, then apply make-up and blendit very carefully so that it is not patchy. Take particular care ofthe neck area where the foundation needs to be applied sothat there is no difference in the colour.

Finally, lightly dust the whole face with translucentpowder. This step helps to retain the foundation for a muchlonger time.

Every time I wax my legs and arms, tiny red bumps likepimples erupt on the skin. Why is this? I use the best brand ofhair-removing wax in the market. Please help.

It is clear that you are reacting to the wax treatment. Thisallergy is causing this rash which is called folliculitis ( infectionof the hair follicles).

Try other forms of hair removal like cream depilatories.You can shave too using a special ladies’ razor but take care tolather with shaving cream first, to shave along the growth ofhair and not against it, and to finally apply a soothing calaminelotion.

Laser treatment is of course a permanent solution tosuperfluous hair problems; however, it needs several sittingsand could be expensive.

I am getting married in twomonths’ time and want to resolve achronic beauty problem that I haveblackheads on my nose! These keep reappearing againand again, and I am really tired of these. I use blackhead stripsto remove them. Please give me a permanent solution to thisissue.

If blackheads keep coming back again and again, you mustcheck your diet. It is clear that the skin around and on yournose is oily and greasy. Sebum is collecting and blocking thepores here, causing the black heads.

Avoid greasy, spicy junk foods. Eat lots of veggies, fruits,oats, salads, etc. Take a blood-purifying tonic to clean outinternal impurities.

Pay extra attention to your nose area when cleaning yourface. Take a thick towel, dip in hot water, wring, and cleanthis part thoroughly, using light scrubbing movements. Thiswill open pores and release trapped sebum. Wash with warmwater first, and then with cold water to close the pores. Youcan use an astringent on your nose as well.

Take care of your general hygiene. Keep yourself sweatand grime-free with regular baths and washes.

Every working woman keeps herjob as the number-one priorityof her life, everything else such

as children, husband, in-laws etc,come later. Today’s working womenare ambitious, hardworking go-getters, and if they want to beconsidered and treated as equal toworking men, then they don’thesitate from giving in as many hoursas their male counterparts do, whichincludes late sittings, going acrosscontinents to attend important

meetings and conferences, workingon holidays, etc.

Women at the workplace aresincere and extremely dedicated, andtake up each new assignment as theirvery first and put in all the effort andcalibre that is required. However,despite everything that they do,sometimes there are bosses (malebosses to be precise) who will alwaysreject a woman’s ideas andcontributions, primarily because theyare predisposed towards otherworkers, and highly prejudiced anddiscriminatory towards their female

Watchout! By Vibhor Sharma

subordinates. Below is a quick guidethat elucidates the top five signs,using which your boss indicates thathe truly dislikes you; and maybe, justmaybe, it’s about time you quit andfind yourself another job.

He nags you for coming lateOne of the classic signs that your

boss is being intentionally evil is whenhe bothers you for your coming lateto work. You may have been late tooffice or for a meeting by 20 minutesor even two minutes on perfectlyjustifiable grounds. If you find yourboss indulging in shaming andtaunting you either in private or infront of an audience, this clearlymeans he doesn’t want you in theorganisation anymore. Nagging awoman for being late, despite shehaving her own reasons, and further,not being sensitive to her plight – allthese are ways through which yourboss is creating tensions and stressesin your mind and making you feeluncomfortable and unwanted.Coming late to the workplace everyday is most certainly an issue, butbeing late once, twice, or thrice over aperiod of a month or two is no issue atall.

Keeping in mind the trafficscenarios of our cities, and moreimportantly the fact that an Indianwoman is not merely doing a job; shealso has to manage her home thatinvolves preparing breakfast andlunch for the family, running errandsand attending to other issues inaddition to the office deadlines,meetings, etc. The least, one mostcertainly expects from a male boss ishis being sympathetic andunderstanding towards a workingwoman, and making her feel at ease,never isolated.

He doesn’t give you anassignment despite you askingfor it

You are sitting in a meeting withcolleagues, your boss, and yourclients. After the meeting ends, youshow your eagerness to be given theproject or assignment, and youpromise to achieve the targets orwhatever the agenda is. Your boss

agrees or seems favourably inclinedtowards your keenness. However, anhour later, the office peon secretlyinforms you that the project has beengiven to your male colleague!

Situations like these are not rare,they happen every day at theworkplace. Sometimes your bossagrees to give you a project to workupon and at times he feels someoneelse is better equipped to handle it.What starts building up anxiety in themind of a woman is when her bosssuddenly starts following a routine ofnot giving her any assignments oneafter the other. This is an indicationthat your boss finds you inept andunbankable.

The reasons for this may beprofessional, personal, or simply thesheer fact that he doesn’t likeworking with you, and wants you toleave. By not giving a lady in anorganisation an opportunity to proveherself, or despite the fact that shehas proven her mettle in her previousprojects, the boss still prefers toselect someone else over her. Allthese indicate only one thing – hedoesn’t want you at the workplace.

He’s getting too close for comfortOne of the most repulsive things

that male bosses do in order to forcetheir female subordinate to quit, is bygetting touchy-feely with them whenthe woman is most preoccupied withother matters. A firm touch or hold onthe shoulders or on the hips, touchingof fingers intentionally while giving ortaking pens and files, looking at youwith lascivious eyes or expressionswhen the woman is busy discussingsomething important, sitting tooclose to a woman on the pretext ofdiscussing something despite therebeing ample space available to talkface to face – all these and more arefilthy ways that male bosses adopt toeither receive sexual favours fromworking women in exchange ofpromising them promotions, or simplybecause they want to see the womanbecome so horrified that she leavesthe office building never to return. Bymaking direct sexual advances orsexual remarks and gestures, bosseswant their female juniors to eithersuccumb or quit, but never continuewith the status-quo.

Sadly, gone are the days whenbosses excited their loins with thesethoughts. In today’s date, if any bossfeels he can indulge in suchshenanigans and get away with it orget favourable results, then he’smistaken – and how! In the age of‘sexual harassment at the workplace’and other such concepts being taken

more seriously than ever, workingwomen feeling sexually harassedby their bosses only have toreport to either the seniormanagement or, even better, tothe police – and the aftermath is

for all to see. However, despite

ONE OF THE MOSTREPULSIVE THINGS THATMALE BOSSES DO INORDER TO FORCE THEIRFEMALE SUBORDINATETO QUIT, IS BY GETTINGTOUCHY-FEELY WITHTHEM, WHEN THEWOMAN IS MOSTPREOCCUPIEDWITH OTHERMATTERS.

all this, working women beingharassed at the workplace, prefer toshy away from reporting and insteadchoose to quit and take up another job.

He’s badmouthing you behindyour back

Oh no, he didn’t! The biggest shockthat a hard-working and earnestwoman can never handle is the factthat her boss is spreading vilerumours about her and her skillbehind her back. Saying things like,“Oh, she’s good for nothing; she’s soslow; she comes to work but leavesher brain at home; she’s totallyuseless, certainly not an asset” – allthese insinuations and more, appearlike a bolt from the blue to thewoman, and she feels cheated andbetrayed; apart from the fact that sheimmediately becomes the toptrending topic of office gossip.

Working women must realise thatif their boss is uttering hate wordsand falsehoods about them, and is in away defaming them with the officestaff, then this is ample evidence thatthe boss dislikes the lady and can’tstand her one bit. If actual issues arisewith a woman and her performance atthe workplace, bosses almost alwayscall the concerned individual to theirchamber, sit down face to face and

discuss the lacklustre contributions andseek to know the reasons behind it.

A concerned boss will never insultand defame a woman, criticising herwork in front of her colleagues andcompetitors, simply because he’s wellaware that such actions will spreadbad blood and make the workenvironment hostile for the lady.However, the boss who knowinglyindulges in such underhand actions isclearly wanting the ouster of thewoman but, being the scheming manthat he is, he doesn’t want to fire herhimself, and only wants to make herdays as uncomfortable as possible, asa result of which she herself will quit.

He didn’t promote you even whenyou deserved it

A woman who does late sittings atthe office risking herself to be stalkedby goons that prowl the roads, gulpsdown cups of coffee like water only toconcentrate and finish her importantfiles, exhausts herself at theworkplace to the extent of crashingto bed upon reaching home – all theseare solid signs that she is dead seriousabout her job and work profile, andthere is nothing that she won’t do inorder to achieve her work targets.

However, despite all her bestefforts, if she finds that her boss

doesn’t promote her at the time whenothers are being promoted, she feelsdisheartened, discouraged, and attimes may even sink into depression.A boss is the one person in anorganisation who keeps an eye onevery single person working underhim. He is the only man who is wellaware of every subordinate’sdaily/weekly output and overallcalibre. If a working woman despiteworking hard and going beyond whatshe is expected to do, brings aboutimpressive results that benefit thecompany, then not promoting her to ahigher position with higher salary andhigher perks, is plain cruel.

Bosses usually indulge in suchbehaviour because by doing this, theysilently want to convey to the womanthat she is unwanted and notconsidered important. This could beeven when her contributions aretremendous otherwise. A woman,therefore, has two options. She couldeither continue working, or can quitto find a better job and, mostimportantly, a better boss, who willappreciate her presence and give herdue credit each time she rightfullydeserves it.

26 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

We

Honest disagreement is often agood sign of progress.

Empathy of unknown saviourWhen my son went for higher

studies to Manipal, Karnataka, Ifrequently visited him during his Istyear. Whenever I went there the royalscenic beauty of Western Ghats,swaying coconut trees, landscapedgardens acted as a balm to my city-weary eyes. Yet I felt lonely because Icouldn’t converse much with thenatives due to language barrier as Ibelong to North India. Sometimes I

used to get apprehensive and anxiousfor staying in a forlorn land and nothaving any acquaintance. During onesuch visit I got up after my lateafternoon siesta and felt air trapped inmy right ear and somewhat hearingloss. Getting panicky, I rang up myhomoeopath doctor at Yamuna Nagar(being allergic to certain allopathicdrugs) who prescribed a medicine. Bythe time, I hired an auto and reachedUdupi, it was already too late and thehome care shop was closed. Depressedand disappointed I came back to myhotel. As I got down from the auto theautorickshaw driver asked me to handover the prescription to him andassured me that he would get themedicine tomorrow morning.Hesitatingly I handed over theprescription and gave him my cellnumber also. Next morning when my

problem got worse, I resolved to goto KMC (Kasturba Medical College).As I was getting ready to go, thedoorbell of my hotel room rang andthere stood that authorickshaw ‘wall’with medicine in his hand. I gotspeechless at the good and graciousgesture of a stranger. After muchcajoling I gave him money for themedicine. Within a few days I gotcured of my ear problem. Wheneverhe met me, as he used to wait forpassengers outside the hotel, he gaveme an assuring brotherly look andtold me to call him anytime wheneverneeded.

Though years have passed sincethis happened. Yet whenever I thinkof my Unknown saviour my faith ingoodness of humanity is reaffirmed.May his tribe increase!

– Dr Ritu Kumar, Jagadhri.

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Satya Prakash stood,picked up his helmetand hurriedly walked

away from his desk. Heworked for a well-knowntravel and tourism firm. Thedark clouds greeted him ashe stepped out. Beingchildless in his three years ofmarriage, he lived with alonging to reach home earlyafter office hours. He missedhis wife and could not wait toget home. Gusty windsshowed signs of rain andthunderstorm. A drizzletrickled as he reached hismotorcycle.

He pulled out a cloth towipe the seat. After insertingit back in the seat pocket, hewore his helmet. By then, thedrizzle began drifting down.Thicker clouds had spreadacross the sky. The windsblew, followed by a heavyshower. Satya Prakash lefthis motorcycle and ran forcover. A coffee shop waslocated beside his

office. He removed hishelmet and ordered a cup ofhot coffee.

Satya Prakash thought ofinforming his wife that he

could be late. He was aboutto call. By then his cellphonestarted ringing. An unknownnumber.

“Hello!” He held thephone close to his ears.

The person from theother end did not respond.Satya Prakash was annoyedand intimidated. Thebreathing noise in deafeningsilence was extremelyirritating. The unknowncaller had called from thesame number four timessince yesterday.

“Who are you? What doyou want?” Satya Prakashfrustratingly asked.

The caller remainedsilent. The call wasdisconnected after someteasing moments. Was itintended or unintended?Who could be the culprit?Was it someone known orunknown? His social circle inGoa was very small, notmore than four or fivefamilies. He was born andbrought up in Ghaziabad, acity in Uttar Pradesh. Didsomeone from Ghaziabadtrack him down?

The thought sent a chilldown his spine as his heartmissed a beat.

It loomed large on his future. By Stan Ageira, Mulki

His Dark PastShortStory

As h is mindshi f ted toretrospect ivemode, h isthoughtsref lected h isdark past .Memor ies ranthrough l i kef lowing water ina stream.

“Whoare you? Whatdo you want?”Satya Prakashfrustratingly

asked.

The thunderstorm roaredwith flashes of lightning andheavy rain. Satya Prakashgazed at the rain and took asip of hot coffee. It made hima bit warmer. Though he hadbroken his links with thepast, he was still in touchwith one person herespected most – retiredprincipal Anand Sharma.

Anand Sharma was awareof the risk in disclosing

Satya Prakash’s cellphonenumber. Satya Prakashtrusted Anand Sharma. Ashis mind shifted toretrospective mode, histhoughts reflected his darkpast. Memories ran throughlike flowing water in astream. He had been living arespectable life in Goa for thepast three years. However,before his relocation hislifestyle in Ghaziabad wasquestionable.

Satya Prakash was simpleand committed like anyother regular student until hegraduated in commerce.During his college days SatyaPrakash was principal AnandSharma's pet. He was just anaverage sort of student inclass, nevertheless excelledin extracurricular activities.While representing in inter-collegiate competitions hehad won prizes galore – be itessay, elocution, singing ortheatre. He had performedreasonably well in theuniversity’s football team.Unfortunately, his life was hitby hardships and tragedy inhis first year of postgraduation.His father, a police officer,was killed in a shoot-out withcriminals. In less than threemonths of his father’s death,his mother breathed her lastin a cardiac arrest caused bysevere wheezing.

Satya Prakash’s life wastorn apart. He struggled tocome to terms with the loss.The depression invaded,leaving him sad, low, anxiousand aimless. Unable to copewith unpleasant realities, heturned towards escapism. Atthis difficult point of his life,he met Ritik Tripathy a

rusticated student. Hisbehavioural pattern hadantisocial elements. He wascommonly known for fightsin campus groups. Weakerfactions avoided him. Theyfound him insanelydangerous.

They were introduced to anightclub and thereafter

got along quite well. Eveningsessions with Ritik Tripathybecame a ritual. Togetherthey chilled out with drinkingand smoking. That changedhis life. Gradually he lostinterest in studies.

He had found his rolemodel in Ritik Tripathy. Lack

of financial resources turnedout a barrier for SatyaPrakash. Ritik Tripathy cameto his rescue. The financialproblem was solved. RitikTripathy was already makingmerry as a drug peddler onthe college campus. SatyaPrakash became his agent.At times, he consumed drugsas well. Ethical values wereneglected after the tragicdeath of his parents.

In this scheme of things,an incident happened. RitikTripathy developed anobsessive attraction toRupali. She was SatyaPrakash’s classmate andneighbour. The power of lovecan make any strong manweak. Ritik Tripathy feared

rejection. He asked SatyaPrakash to convey hismessage of love. SatyaPrakash knew Rupali fromschooldays. They werefamily friends until he lost hisparents. Satya Prakashshowed no hesitation inhelping out his friend.

The meeting took placeoutside the Jain temple atMaharana Pratap Road.Satya Prakashcommunicated RitikTripathi’s message of love toRupali. The conversationended in less than 10minutes.

“I don’t like him,” Rupalimade it very clear. “Do youthink I will marry an animaland ruin my life? He isdisgusting.”

Satya Prakash was worriedthat Ritik Tripathi’s

emotions would explode. Hefeared Ritik’s rage. Rupali’sresponse was conveyed in adelicate and discreetmanner.

“She isn’t ready for anyaffair at the moment,” SatyaPrakash cautiouslyexplained. “Rupali isconcentrating all her effortson her postgraduation. Shewants to pursue a career infinance.”

“When did I disapproveher ambition? Let her dowhat she wants. I haveabsolutely no objection.However, she should notthink of marrying anyoneother than me. If she does,I will finish them off,” RitikTripathy soundeddetermined.

In the meantime, theNarcotics Bureau busted ahuge shipment of drugs thathad entered Ghaziabad city.It was one of the biggesthauls of drugs. That resultedin scarcity of the product oncollege campuses. Small-time drug peddlers like Ritik

How did R it ikTr ipathy manage totrace h is ce l l phonenumber? Fear creptinto h is mind. Hetook the last s ip o fcof fee and put thecup on the table.Satya Prakashlooked through thewindow.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 29

principal right away. “Hello…” Anand Sharma

responded.“Sir, good evening. This is

Satya Prakash.”“How are you, my boy?”“I am fine, sir. How are

you?”“Slight rise in BP. Sugar

and cholesterol are incontrol. I have been thinkingto call you since yesterday.”

“How can I help you, sir?”“Do you remember your

old friend Ritik Tripathy?”“How can I forget that

devil? Soon after he was sentto prison, I pleaded with youfor redemption from thosesurroundings. You spoke toyour friend in Goa andarranged for my relocation.I owe you my new life.”

“I do not think I did

anything great. You showedthe willingness to redeemand you found yourresurrection. Ritik Tripathytoo wants to change and leada respectable life.”

“What do you mean?”“Ritik Tripathy is released

from prison. He was here atmy place yesterday. The badboy seems to have grownfrom his past wrongdoings.He has regrets about hisactions in bygone days. RitikTripathy is looking for a newlease of life. He asked foryour contact number. I havegiven it. He will call you.”

Tripathy and Satya Prakashwere immediately affected.The cash crunch promptedRitik Tripathy to take uprobberies. Satya Prakashstayed away from such acts,citing preparation for finalexaminations. He had hisreasons.

In a shocking incident, agang of robbers cut the

vault of the automated tellermachine of a public sectorbank with a gas cutter andmade off with 2.3 millionrupees in cash. The powersupply was switched off tode-activate the surveillancecameras. In a tip-off, RitikTripathy and his accompliceswere caught in less than aweek after the burglary.Police recovered two millionrupees. The robbers weresent for three years in prison.

Three years ago SatyaPrakash had decided to leavehis past behind. Retiredprincipal Anand Sharmahelped Satya Prakash torelocate and find a job inGoa. By now, Ritik Tripathywas released fromconfinement.

Who was the silent caller?Could it be Ritik Tripathy?Satya Prakash had left hispast far away in Ghaziabad.He had moved on by living anew and clean life in Goa.How did Ritik Tripathymanage to trace his cellphone number? Fear creptinto his mind. He took thelast sip of coffee and put thecup on the table. SatyaPrakash looked through thewindow. Squalls of wind andrain continued. The chill offear suggested an evilpresence.

Was his murky pastcatching up with him?

He was occasionally intouch with Anand Sharma.He pulled out his cellphoneand called the retired

“Oops! That is why I havebeen getting silent calls froman unknown number. I couldsense poison from the silentcaller’s breathing.I suppose you should nothave given my number. Doeshe know that I live in Goa?”

“Yes, I told him so.”“Oh no!”“Why do you sound

frightened?”“I do feel vulnerable. The

sword of vengeance isflashing from a distance.”

“Satya Prakash, my boy,please listen to me…”

“You must have forgottenthat I was the one who hadtipped off the ATM robberyto cops. I had hoped that theculprits would get aminimum seven to 10 years.They were given a softsentence of three years forsuch a nefarious act. Youhelped me to move out fromGhaziabad so that I couldforget my past and moveon.”

“Perhaps he is not awarethat you had informed cops.He did not mention anythingas such. Ritik Tripathyacknowledged that his pastdeeds had harmed manypeople. He deeply regrets hispast and wants to mend hisways. I feel he deserves achance.”

“I cannot trust him.”“Are you hiding

something from me?”“No sir. I will call you

again. I need to attend tosome urgent piece of work.”

Satya Prakashdisconnected the line andglanced out. The rain hadstopped. Lightning blazed inthe dusky sky. The drizzlesprinkled on his face as hestepped out and looked up.Dark clouds still hovered at adistance.

He kept his helmet on thepetrol tank and called hiswife.

“Once Ritik Tripathy wassent for three years ofimprisonment, I assumed Ihad enough time to run awayfrom him to reorganise mylife,” Satya Prakash gaspedfor breath as he chose thewords carefully. “I alwayswanted to forget a lot of stufffrom my past. I have triedhard to leave my pastbehind. Looks like it iscatching up with me. I cannotallow my reformed life tocrumble like a pack of cards.”

“Why should you benegative?” his wife enquired.

“Ritik Tripathy is back!”Satya Prakash was reallyworried. “He has tracked ourwhereabouts. We are shortof time. It is time to flee to afaraway place. Let us get lostin the hustle and bustle of anew city, where Ritik cannotfind us. We have enoughsavings to cover for ourexpenses for a few months.By tomorrow, we will have totravel to a new place and geta new address, newcellphone number and huntfor a new job. Unfortunately,we may have to staydisconnected from AnandSharma as well.I should be reaching home innext 15-20 minutes. Rupali,please do not worry. Howwas your day at work? I loveyou, Rupali.”

He put his helmet on andpushed the ratcheting lever.The engine was kick-started.At that moment, hiscellphone buzzed. He sawthe number. The unknowncaller was back again. SatyaPrakash switched off hisphone, removed the SIM cardand flicked it on thepavement. Then heaccelerated and sped away.We

30 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

There is somethingspecial when creativepeople get together.

The ra in hadstopped. L ightn ingblazed in thedusky sky. Thedr izz le spr ink ledon h is face as hestepped out andlooked up. Darkc louds st i l lhovered at adistance.

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31

Parents are supposed to be theguiding light of their children.From the time of birth till the

days of adulthood, every child looksup to his or her parents for help,support and guidance. In the earlydays of raising their children, everyparent wishes to be the perfect imageof parenthood by teaching their childabout all the good and evil thatprevails in this world. Values,ideologies, principles, and ethics areimparted to children from a veryyoung age so that, when they growup, they become such citizens of thesociety, who can benefit not justthemselves, but also prove to be anasset to the people around.

Raising a child is not rocketscience, but having said that, it’s not acakewalk either. Most parents thesedays do not realise that apart fromthe good things that they teach theirchildren, these little ones are alsosilently imbibing all the bad thingswhich they see around them, and themost solid influence and source ofsuch bad habits are none other thantheir own parents. Below is a quickguide that elucidates the top threehabits that every child picks up fromhis or her parents, and the only onesresponsible for this, are the parentsthemselves.

bad habitsevery child learnsfrom parentsThereby making wrong impressions in public. By Vibhor Sharma

3

being aggressive and creating ascene, they are doing nothing wrong,but only following the set norm oftheir house.

Child psychiatrists however, feeldifferently. As per clinical studies,research, and prognosis, doctorsworldwide are of the opinion thatchildren who display aggressivebehaviour in their childhood will mostcertainly grow up to becomeaggressive adults who won’t hesitatefrom indulging in physical outburstswith random people. Such childrenonce all grown up, may even becomeanti-social elements and indulge incriminal acts for getting their waythrough life’s tough situations.

The solution to this, therefore, isvery simple. Parents, being adults,should discuss tumultuous issuesbehind closed doors, or at a safedistance from where their little onescannot see or hear them. By hidingand fighting with each other, parents

can get to a consensus without lettingtheir children know of anythingwhatsoever. Parents who fight infront of their kids don’t realise thatthis creates a bad impression in thefragile and delicate minds of theirchildren. Stresses of adulthood areharsh – which is a given – but whyinvolve your child in matters whichare beyond his/her comprehension?Parents must note that, in order tokeep the sanity and sanctity of theirchildren intact, they mustn’t quarrel infront of them because, if they do so,their children will only reiterate suchbehavioural patterns by following thepolicy of ‘copy and paste’!

Using cuss wordsOne of the commonest of ill habits

seen in children everywhere, is thehabit of using abusive language eitherwhen they are playing with theirfriends, or at home. Children tend toparrot strong swear words which theyoverhear their parents use in thehouse. Being entirely naïve of whatthe harsh, blasphemous words inEnglish or the veracular actuallymean, kids mouth expletivesrandomly in public places and even atschool, which lead to repercussionsfor not just the child but also forhis/her parents.

Using of cuss words by adults isdefinitely something which is lookeddown upon in civilised societies.Therefore, when children are heardusing strong language, people inpublic tend to fear about the welfareand upbringing of the child at home.Teachers in schools are the first tonotice if one of their kindergartenstudents uses abusive language eitherin conversations with their friends, orin order to assert their dominance in aschool fight. Parents, more thanchildren, are the ones who areimmediately put in the dock and madeto feel embarrassed, because it isevident that a child will only pick upsuch words from his or her parents,because, if the parents weren’t theculprits of uttering these words, thenthey would’ve been the first to stopand dissuade their child, when theyoverhear their little ones speak suchprofanities.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 33

THE SOLUTION TO THIS,THEREFORE, IS VERYSIMPLE. PARENTS, BEINGADULTS, SHOULDDISCUSS TUMULTUOUSISSUES BEHIND CLOSEDDOORS, OR AT A SAFEDISTANCE FROM WHERETHEIR LITTLE ONESCANNOT SEE OR HEAR THEM.

Aggressive behaviourBoys and girls as young as four or

five are seen at public places such asshopping malls, restaurants, parks,and other recreational sites displayingaggression and behaviour which issymptomised by screaming, throwingtantrums, shrieking, and not obeyingtheir elders. By displaying aggressionto their caretakers which might notalways be their parents as they couldbe either grandparents or domesticstaff, children want to get their wayaround things and not follow theinstructions being given to them bythe adults. Such children resort toaggressive behaviour because athome they see their parents,screaming over issues that may betrivial or noteworthy. By seeing theirparents get their way around thingsby displaying aggression over others,such children silently copy and storesuch episodes in their minds, andwhen faced with similar situationsoutdoors, do not hesitate toshowcase the exact moods andbehavioural patterns they have seenat home.

Toddlers replicate the negativebehaviour of their parents in everydaylife situations with effortless aplombbecause they feel – and somewheredeep down know – that, if theirparents have done so, then there’snothing wrong in their doing so aswell. This becomes a significantproblem with the child, when intoday’s times parents don’treprimand their children’s aggressivebehaviour and on the contrary areseen encouraging and mollycoddlingthem, in public places. Thisemboldens kids into believing that by

By allowing children to use filthyand uncivil language at home and inpublic places, parents don’t realisethat they are raising not children butmonsters who will grow up to becomedifficult human beings, difficult towork with, and difficult to becomefriends with. By paying attention andoffering correction to one’s child andthe language that he or she uses,parents will only be epitomising goodparenting. Teaching clean social skillsthat involve polite language anddecent behaviour, will help childrenadapt to society outdoors quicker andfeel less dependent on using cusswords in order to make a point orstate a fact. Children who use stronguncouth language and remainunchecked for long durations tend todevelop the opinion that what they’resaying is right and there is absolutelynothing wrong with it. They don’trealise that their crude utterancescould very well be raising eyebrows,simply because they haven’t been toldto cease from using profanelanguage. Parents need toimmediately step in and realise that astich in time saves nine.

Body scratchingAn itch is an itch, and it’s got to be

scratched. It doesn’t matter if it’sunder one’s arm or in the privateparts. Seeing their parents scratchingthemselves so effortlessly makeschildren ‘copy and paste’ the idea thatif one gets an itch, attending to it willcause no harm. Many believe thatsince we live India and not London,body scratching shouldn’t ever be anissue in public. But what people don’trealise is that, surely we are notBritish, but having said that, does it

mean we quit being civilised citizens?Does it mean that there should be nodifference between us and apes?

Body scratching is a scene mostfoul and filthy, irrespective ofwhether the doer maybe an adult or achild. Violently scratching one’s bodyparts in broad daylight in full publicview is not a pleasant sight. Parentsneed to know that it’s not just theirwords, but also their physical actionsthat their children duplicate. Byindulging in scratching one’s privateparts in the comfort of their homesand in full view of their children,parents are only encouraging theirkids to do the same. Children need tobe taught that if an itch is to beattended to, it should be done inprivacy and behind closed door.Especially scratching of private partsand underarms.

Children are impressionable andabsorb everything they see beforetheir eyes. And if they witness theirparents doing it, then their copying itis right, since, they feel that theirparents’ actions are a stamp of

approval. A prominent factor inchildren for repeated body scratchingis attributed to poor hygiene. Being allday at school, coming home andeating lunch, going for an afternoonnap, and then going out to play in theevening – causes excessive sweatingand build-up of germs underneathclothes. Parents need to see to it thatif their child is active in daily activitiesthen a daily bath is an absolute must,since this prevents and minimises theurge to scratch.

Body scratching is a natural urgeand is entirely instinctive in nature.However, there are unspoken socialrules and norms which all civilisedcitizens of a society should follow andalso impart to their children, in orderto prevent major embarrassment andhumiliation. Good parenting, is seenas a pivotal factor in the rearing of achild, the absence of which, causeschildren to develop bad habits.

34 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

We

Honesty is the first chapter in thebook of wisdom.

My grandson sitting on a sofaLooked through the windowOn the tree outside crows were flyingMerrily from branch to branch.

On one branch clearly we could seeTwo crows happily cawing and playing...“Dadi, two two crowsI want to give them biscuits...”

His cute smiling face is theEpitome of happiness asHe repeats, “Two two crows.”

I fondly looked at his faceAnd thought...Adults with two crores in handWill be craving the third croreNot enjoying the two in hand.

Time indeed to learn from theInnocence of a toddler.

– Urmilla Ramrakhiani.

Two Crows

I am engaged to be married next year, and in every way, myfiance is a good person. Our only clash of interests lies in hisstrong dislike and even fear of animals, while I am an avidanimal lover and cannot live without my four dogs and twocats. I cannot think of life without pets. I am tempted to calloff the engagement.

In marriage there are always differences of tastes, opinionsand attitudes. Without these, it would be a dull anduninteresting relationship. As you admit, he is a good man,why throw away a chance of a happy marriage for this reason?Make compromises. Discuss your feelings with him. Perhaps,you can segregate your pets from the house, by allotting aseparate space in the garden for them? Just keep one pet for astart, till he gets used to the idea? All differences can be sortedout with affection and some give and take.

All things considered, you should not opt for a break-up.Use this waiting time to deal with the issue as best as youcan.

This is my friend’s problem, not mine actually. When she was10 years old, her mother died, and her father remarried sothat she could have a “mother” to care for her. Her step-mother, has a son by a previous marriage and by mutualagreement, she left him in the care of her parents when sheremarried. Now, the son is a strapping young man, who oftenvisits his mother and stepfather.

My friend has fallen in love with her stepbrother, and hetoo reciprocates her feelings. Is it legal for them to marry?She is 17 and he is 24 years old.They have not disclosed this totheir parents as yet. They arescared to do so.

Legally, they can marry as theydo not share a parent, but yourfriend is still underage. She mustwait till she is 18. This apart, theirrelationship could cause a lot ofawkwardness and embarrassment in their family circles andsociety. Whether they will be willing to live with all theunpleasant notoriety is something for them to seriouslyponder about. Most importantly, what will their parents haveto say in the matter? It is best they wait for some years todecide this life-time decision, as your friend is still too youngand impressionable to think maturely right now.

I have a very embarrassing problem which I cannot talk aboutto anyone. Please advise me. I am a 14-year-old girl whostarted her menarche two years back. My breasts had notstarted to develop till a year back. Now, I find that my leftbreast is growing quite large but my right breast is stillundeveloped. Is something wrong with me? I feel very self-conscious about this although no one seems to notice theoddity of my figure.

What should I do? Please tell me. I lose sleep with the fearthat I am growing into some kind of a freak.

First of all, stop worrying, and relax. There is nothingwrong with you. In puberty when the figure starts to fill out ingirls, there is always a little bit of discrepancy which will even

Q A&Teenache

out with time. Wait for some time and you will find that yourright breast will begin to fill and be par with its other side.

In most women, there is always a difference in size of thebreasts. Just as your two ears are surely not perfectly identical.It just does not matter. In case, you need more assurance,talk about your doubts to your mother, or aunt, and fix up anappointment with a lady doctor who can access the issue,advise and reassure you.

I have a problem which is making me sad and confused. I am a15-year-old girl. My mother succumbed to cancer two and ahalf years ago, leaving my father and me totally devastated.My maternal grandparents have taken me to stay with themas Daddy found it difficult to look after me alone. His jobinvolves a lot of travelling and I could not be left alone athome. Every once in a while, I come home to stay with him.

Recently,a woman colleague from his office, came visitingus. There seems to be a great rapport between them. Daddycomes alive in her presence, laughing and talking. This makesme worried that he will in due time marry her, and forget mymother who he loved a lot. I told my grandparents too that Ido not want a stepmother, and will not consent to hismarriage. Strangely, they do not seem to mind at all, and feelit will be for everyone’s good. But I want to stop him. If hedecides to remarry. Please tell me how.

Your anguish and confusion is very understandable,but there is no way you can stop him from

remarrying. You should try to see thebigger picture. If this lady is a good person, why notgive your father another chance of companionship? It must bea very lonely life for him now. Remarrying will not meandishonouring or forgetting a departed spouse. There willalways be a special place in his heart for your mother. Doconsider his happiness and well-being too. If there is no majorobjection to this match. Even your mom’s parents do notseem to be opposing the idea.

Look at the positive side. You will find a good mothersubstitute who can help, guide and support you through yourteens and early adulthood. Your grandparents cannot carefor you for very long due to their declining years. So, you willhave to find a good home atmosphere all over again.

This column is especially for teenagers. Adolescence can, we know, be a trying and confusing time. There are so many questions which seem to evade solutions. A

wrong decision, or an indiscreet move, can spell disaster and ruin a life. Share yourproblem, worry or doubt with us and WE will help you find a way out — to a

happier, healthier and more successful adult life. Send your problems to:WOMAN’S ERA

E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055, Womansera.com

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 35

Miss India Supranational 2016 Srinidhi Ramesh Shetty posesduring a photocall as part of the MIPTV event on 3 April in

Cannes, southeastern France.

Miss

Indi

a Su

pran

atio

nal

Performance Recording artistKelsea Balleriniperforms onstageduring the 52ndAcademy OfCountry MusicAwards at T-Mobile Arenalast month in LasVegas, Nevada.

The general view

General view of the atmosphere in Coachella Valley MusicAnd Arts Festival on 15 April, in Indio, California.

Russian President Vladimir Putin visitsan ice cavern on Alexandra Land Island

in the remote Arctic islands of FranzJosef Land on 29 March.

Nelly Korda makes a tee shot on the eight hole duringround two of the ANA Inspiration on the Dinah Shore

Tournament Course at Mission Hills Country Club on 31March in Rancho Mirage, California.

EkaterinaBobrova (top) andDmitri Soloviev ofRussia skateduring their shortdance routine inthe ice danceevent at theWorld TeamTrophy figureskatingcompetition inTokyo on 20 April.

Variety dance

The

ice

danc

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Tee shot

Putin

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Children perform a variety dance and music showduring an organised tour of the Childrenʼs Cultural

Palace for visiting foreign journalists on the outskirts ofPyongyang on 14 April.

Every woman waits for themoment when theuncomfortable heels are off,

the tight pants are changed, and thepajamas are on. A woman’s quest forcomfort ends when she slips intoparallel legs of refreshing world-shedding travel fatigue and the day’slanguor resulting from wearingbinding clothes, mostly to fit into animage conjured up by the world.

Since childhood whenever I camehome, my pajamas were the firstthing I looked for. My bodybeseeched good riddance toclothes which screamed of aperson I was not. Metaphorically, Ilonged to shed the mask of myworldly ‘image’.

Clothes often create the firstimpression and the dictum thatfirst is always the last, turns

true in most cases. Especially, ifyou are in public space. Your

personality is decoded throughclothes. Be it in a queue, a waiting

room, railway platforms, airportlounge, first day at college or job,

date, matrimonial meet, or familyoccupying the next table at arestaurant. What you wear isscrutinised and scanned. Before youknow it, out goes a label brandingyour personality. From liberal,conservative, rural, modern, trendyand decent, to beautiful, ugly, smartor modest, one is stamped in afraction of a second.

However, once you embrace PJs,the heavy weight of such measured

responses is shed. Each time I slip intothe heavenly attire, I feel ‘at home’with myself. I am no longer concernedwith how the world wants me to be.The state of mind then is like being ata world-class lounge, enjoying anelaborate meal with a chilledbeverage without even paying for it.

This breathable and lightweightpiece of cloth is no less than athinking pad for me. I am wired andtuned into my natural best when inPJs. The clarity in thinking comes froma higher vantage point whichbecomes accessible owing to a calmphysical self.

I secretly fancy the idea of pajamasbecoming a part of uniform or officewear one day, for the sheer comfortthey bring. Though, for pajamas to bea national costume is a far-fetchedidea. Especially, in the light of casesreported worldwide where jammiesworn in public stirred controversy; insome cases, lawmakers even calledfor pajamas to be banned.

For instance, the rulinggovernment in the UAE intervenedand banned workers from wearingpajamas at work in 2006. In yetanother instance, it did not go downwell with the supermarket Tesco inthe UK which banned customers fromwearing PJs in 2010. More recently,the USA leaped a step further inproposing an ordinance in 2012prohibiting people from wearingpajamas in public.

The word pajama originally comesfrom the Persian word payjama

38 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

Gimme a pair of pajamas please!By Priyanka Chauhan

COMFORTTHY NAME IS

Wonder Wear,

meaning ‘leg garment’. According toEncyclopaedia Britannica Online,jammies were first introduced inEngland as lounging attire in theseventeenth century but soon wentout of fashion. Its journey from inbetween the sheets to out in thestreets worldwide began in 1870, andbecame popular thereafter.

The 1934 film It Happened OneNight, featured a scene in whichactress Claudette Colbert wore a pairof men's pajamas; it helped topopularise the menswear-styledpajamas for women. Later, pajamaswere adapted into fashionable dressin the early twentieth century whenavant-garde designers promotedthem as elegant alternatives. Frenchcouturier Paul Poiret too launchedpajama styles for both day andevening as early as 1911, and hisinfluence played a large role in theireventual acceptance.

Rise of jammies worldwideand their popularity

Chief industry analyst with the NPDGroup of America, Marshal Cohen,wrote in a blog post that flannel andsilk pajama bottoms are replacingsweatpants as day wear.

"This gives casual wear a wholenew meaning," Cohen said, calling thelook ‘the ultimate level of relaxed’.

Today, even global fashion labelssuch as Alexander Wang, Céline,Givenchy and Dolce and Gabbanahave made the dream of daytimecomfort a reality by incorporatingsultry silks, pretty lace trims andplayful floral prints into their lines.From the catwalks of Paris, aisles ofM&S to the pages of Vogue, the rise ofthe posh pajamas has furtherembedded sleep wear into routine.

Early twentieth century saw therise of PJs in the USA when modernwomen paired lightweight pant-styledpajamas with sleeveless blouses.Women flaunted their suave figures incapri, beach and hostess pajamas.People in Britain also made fashionstatements in lounging pants laterthat century.

Movies too contributed inpopularising jammies cutting acrossall geographical boundaries. The

dhoti-pants of the indomitable Tanu ofTanu Weds Manu became the talkingpoint of Delhi University; Deepika’spajamas from Piku or her palazzos inCocktail, became a rage after shewore them. Hollywood celebritiesJessica Alba and Miley Cyrus havebeen photographed wearing pajamapants in public. Mary-Kate and AshleyOlsen have also embraced the pajamapant at their fashion label, The Row.

Now, swing back to 2017!College girls carry off colourful

pajamas with elan. The urban andtrendy women of this day and ageaccessorise heavily to pull off a semi-formal look. Their colourful attire andface beams with confidence as theskin underneath breathes happily.Style is about personal comfort, isn’tit?

Palazzo pants – a trendresurfaced

Trend often resurfaces. Iremember the trend of short suits inIndia which hit local markets in theearly ’90s. My mother had stitchedone for my birthday. A short kurtiteamed with what we call today’spalazzo pants, refurbishing the oldsuit into a contemporary one. Unlikeskin-tight leggings, that decadereinvented pajamas into palazzowhich is a rage today. My local tailoralso suggested that I go for a pajama-like bottom for the unstitched suit as

I SECRETLY FANCY THEIDEA OF PAJAMASBECOMING A PART OFUNIFORM OR OFFICEWEAR ONE DAY, FOR THESHEER COMFORT THEYBRING. THOUGH, FORPAJAMAS TO BE ANATIONAL COSTUME IS AFAR-FETCHED IDEA.

it was more comfortable. I found eventhe older women of the 40s, loyalistsof salwars, experimenting with thepalazzo pants.

Roman designer Irene Galitzinehad first introduced palazzo pants in1960 for informal evening wear. Theygreatly influenced fashion during thisperiod and continued into the casual1970s. Palazzo pajamas back thenfeatured extremely wide legs andwere often made of soft silk anddecorated with beading and fringe.

Pajama party – a ritual thatcontinues even today

Who can’t recall going for a pajamaparty during their teens? The fad ritualcontinues even today whereyoungsters dressed comfortably inpajamas stay overnight at a friend’splace to socialise. At one such party, adecade back I had forgotten to packmy PJs. Throughout my night stay, Iremained in jeans and even slept inthose distressed denims. I woke up

the next morning as if I had neverslept. Such was the discomfort. Icould not concentrate the followingday owing to restlessness and justwanted to go home badly and slip intomy world.

Though how you choose yourpajamas depends upon your innersensibilities. Designs on jammies

redefine the original you. Itrepresents a relaxed persona of yourpersonality. Quite a differentapproach in comparison withselecting formal wear. Here, comfortand artsy patchwork decides whetheryou buy the piece or not. Images ofsports, animals, cartoons, flowers,stripes, shapes and other motifsprinted in bright colours are oftenfound stacked in local markets.Women love to experiment with thecolourful prints replacing the shadesof grey, black and blue.

If some supernatural didn’t makethese wonder wear, the whole Earthwould have been so restless. Genderno bar. It not only guaranteesprofound slumber but also gives agood start to the day. Get a pair andslip into these mood boosters to enjoythe serenity it bestows.

40 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

It is neither wealth nor splendor;but tranquility and occupation which

give you happiness.

The freshness of the morning,The footsteps of the school-goers,The morning walkers,The speedy bike of the office-goers OrThe rush of the domestic workersOrThe ferrywalas, the doodhwalasThe road observes all …The road knows all…The scorching heat of the afternoon,The sense of happiness of the students returning from their schools,

The smell of perspiration of the ladies completing domestic chores of theirlordsOrThe sound of the unknown They say The road smells all…The road knows all…The gorgeous sunshine of the evening,The playfulness of the children,The satisfaction OrThe dissatisfaction of the faces

But The road differentiates all…The road knows all…The brightness of the moonThe glitter,The cracks OrThe hollownessOrThe hauntingsThe road feels all…The road knows all…

– Nivedita Dinkar.

We

THOUGH HOW YOUCHOOSE YOURPAJAMAS DEPENDSUPON YOUR INNERSENSIBILITIES.DESIGNS ON JAMMIESREDEFINE THEORIGINAL YOU. ITREPRESENTS ARELAXED PERSONA OFYOUR PERSONALITY.

My husband is about 50 years old and a chronic smoker. Sincelast two years, he is suffering from leycoplakia of the larynx. Iwant to know about the disease in detail.

The condition is characterised by epithelial hyperplasiawith hyperkeratosis of the vocal cords. It is supposed to bedue to chronic irritation and excessive smoking. This is a raredisease and commonly found in males. The patients comewith a history of progressive hoarseness. Laryngoscopicallyit appears as white raised patches either on one or both vocalcords. The mobility of the cords remains normal. Theleucoplakia is definitely a precancerous condition. Therefore,it should be kept under constant supervision and thecancerous development should be diagnosed early bycytology and biopsy. The preliminary treatment includesprohibition of smoking and removal of septic foci in the nose,sinuses, throat and mouth. To prevent epithelial hyperplasiavitamin-A may be given. If the condition persists even afterproper conservative treatment, laryngofissure and removalof the affected cord should be done. Regular check-up andtreatment with an E.N.T. surgeon is a must.

My daughter is about 6 years old. Two year, back shecomplained about difficulty in vision. She was not able to readproperly on the blackboard in her class. The doctor said thatshe is suffering from myopia and prescribed spectacles buther numbers of glasses are increasing rapidly. The doctor saidthat she is suffering from pathological myopia. I want to knowabout pathological myopia.

Myopia or short-sightedness is atype of refractive error in whichparallel rays of light coming frominfinity are focused in front of theretina. Pathological myopia is a rapidlyprogressive error resulting in highmyopia during early adult lifeassociated with degenerative changesin the eye. Symptoms of myopia are poor vision for distance(short-sightedness) is the main symptom of myopia. Myopiceyes typically are large and somewhat prominent. Floatingblack opacities in front of the eyes are also complained of bymany patients. Night blindness may be complained by veryhigh myopes having marked degenerative changes. Pupils arelarge and react sluggishly to light. Degenerative changes inretina are common in progressive myopia. Optical treatmentof myopia constitutes prescription of appropriate concavelenses, so that a clear image is formed on the retina. Contactlens is the other option. It is a must to check the vision andfundus examination every six months by an eye specialist.

I am a 45-year-old lady. Two years back my gall bladder wasremoved because of gall bladder stone but since last one yearI feel biliary colic from time to time. For this condition, Iconsulted a doctor. After examination and investigations, hesaid that I am suffering from postcholeycystectomysyndrome. What is your opinion and I want to know aboutthis condition.

Where cholecystectomy (removal of gall bladder) is carriedout for gall stones, 70 per cent or more patients get complete

Q A&Your Body

relief from symptoms. When symptoms persist or biliary colicrecurs, radiological examinations of the biliary tree for gallstones or unrecognised neoplasia should be carried out.Endoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography is speciallyvaluable. In some patients, neither this nor investigation forother diseases such as peptic ulcer or pancreatitis shows anyabnormality. The patients are then often considered to sufferfrom a functional abnormality of the biliary tree 'biliarydyskinesia'. There is, however, no good evidence for such acondition and these patients should not be treated byprocedures such as sphincterotomy or choledochoduo -denostomy. Antacids, simple analgesics, sedatives, andavoidance of foods clearly followed by symptoms andreassurance should be tried but only after consultation from adoctor.

My husband is about 26 years old. We were married one yearback. From the first day of marriage his behaviour andactivities were not normal. We have consulted clinicalpsychologist and psychirtrist. They have told me that he issuffering from schizoid personality disorder. I want to know allabout this disorder.

The schizoid person is essentially solitary. He keeps aloof,detached and distant from other people. He has few closerelationships and may be much more preoccupied with someinterpersonal activity in the realms of electronics,physics, mathematics and engineering. Often the

engrossing venture is apersonal fad or invention, whichmay be of negligible application in ordinarylife but may be persued with a single-mindeddevotion inappropriate to a mere hobby remaining, quiet andshy. The persons abnormality may already have beenapparent early in childhood from an inability or disinclinationto mix and a preference for solitary pursuits.

The lack of friendships may have been upsetting to theparents as the person grows up, he can himself be distressedby his incapacity for any intimacy with others. The personmay appear odd, eccentric, gawky and in his awkwardisolation may appear as a figure of fun. Schizoid people areoften solitary workers, who cannot function satisfactorily in ateam.

Bookish, reserved, out of touch with others, relatively blindto social cues, their personal lives may appear barren. Theschizoid person is at times mistrustful, seeing slights wherenone is intended. He is rigid and brittle. He has little empathywith other people and so remains unaware of their intentions,feelings and wishes.

– Dr Sanjay Teotia

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 41

MEAL ONE Grilled pineapple and broccoli

with sour creamCold tomato and corn on a cob

soupVegetarian club sandwichThis is a wholesome meal on a

summer day – the grilled veggeisin combination with pineapplegive the meal a cool effect. Thecold soup, added with a clubsandwich makes it a hearty meal.

INGREDIENTS:

For grilled pineapple:4 slice pineapple slices2 tbsp olive oilsalt and pepper powder as pertaste

For broccoli:1 medium sized head of broccoli1 tsp oregano3 tbsp curdoil for grilling the broccoli salt to taste

For sour cream:1 cup thick sour cream

For tomato soup:3 cups tomato juice2 tbsp gram flour1/4 tsp methi seeds2 tbsp oil1 corn cob1/2 tsp chilli powder

Summer is a time when you want to beaway from the kitchen, try these easy toprepare recipes. By Roma Ghosh

ummer

broccoli head is grilled. Serve thegrilled broccoli topped with sourcream.

To prepare the soup: Heat theoil and add the methi seeds andallow to splutter. Lower the heatand add the gram flour and stirand fry till a fine aroma rise –should take 1 minute. Now mix in

2 tbsp cream – optionalsalt to taste

For vegetarian club sandwich:4 slices sandwich bread 4 tbsp butter

For bottom most layer:3 tbsp orange marmalade

For second layer:12-15 circles of cucumber or youcan replace these with kiwi circles

For top most layer: You could use grated cottagecheese stir fried with salt andoregano powder. Or you coulduse an omelete or anothervariation is to use a slice of cheese

METHODTo prepare the pineapple:

Sprinkle a few pinches of salt andpepper on the pineapple slice.Heat the oil on a non-stick pan or agrill pan or a grill and grill thepineapple pieces turning once sothat both sides of the pineappleare grilled well. Keep aside.

To prepare the broccoli:Combine the crud and the oreganoand the salt and rub into thebroccoli head. Leave aside for 10minutes. Heat the oil on a nonstick pan or a grill pan or a grill andgrill the broccoli pieces turningonce so that all sides of the

42 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

mealsS

used as a kadhi when served hot(serve with plain rice) and serve asa cold soup when served cold witha club sandwich.

Vegetarian club sandwich:Butter all the slices. On one slicespread the orange marmalade.Cover with a buttered slice andplace the cucumber or kiwi pieces.Cover with another buttered slice.For the top most layer use grated

cheese which has been stir friedwith salt and oregano. Cover withanother buttered slice.

Variation: For the top mostlayer you could use a simple sliceof cheese, a few slices of bacon, avegetarian or non vegetarianpattie which has been grilled ordeep-fried or replace the cottage cheese with a masalaomelete.

the tomato juice and stir very wellso that the juice gets mixed intogram flour and no lumps remain.Add 2 cups of water and bring to aboil adding salt to taste and thered chillie powder. Lower the heatand add the corn cobs which havebeen cut into 4 pieces. Continue tocook and boil over low heat for 5-7minutes. This preparation can be

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 43

Grilled pineapple andbroccoli with sour creamCold tomato and corn on acob soupVegetarian club sandwich

▲▲

▲

For chicken tikka in green mangopaste:400 gm boneless chicken cut intomedium pieces4 tbsp oil for cooking the chicken For marinade:1 cup curd2 tsp green chilli paste4 tsp green mango paste2 tsp ginger garlic pastesalt to taste

For Bell peppers and peas withmayonnaise 1 each of red, yellow and greenbell pepper cut into strips1 cup shelled peas1 tbsp oil4 tbsp eggless mayonnaise 1 tsp curry powdersalt to taste

METHODTo prepare the saffron rice: Heat

the ghee and add the cooked riceadding the salt and the saffron.Stir-fry for 2-3 minutes and servegarnished with orange segmentsor almond slivers .

To prepare the chicken tikkas:Marinate the chicken pieces withthe marinade and keep aside for20 minutes. Put on a tandoor, agrill or use a non-stick pan to cookthe tikkas till tender.

To prepare the Bell peppers andpeas with mayonnaise: Heat theoil and add the shelled peas andsalt to taste and cook for oneminute adding also the currypowder after cooking for 2minutes. Lower the heat and addthe bell peppers and continue tostir and fry for a further 2 minutes.Add the mayonnaise and stirgently.

Serve with the saffron rice andchicken tikkas as a full meal.

44 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

MEAL TWOThis meal is easy and quick to

make and is prepared withingredients easily available in yourpantry.

Saffron almond riceChicken tikkas marinated with

green mango pasteBell peppers and peas with

mayonnaise

INGREDIENTS:

For Saffron almond/orange rice2 cups cooked long grainedbasmati rice3 tbsp butter3 strands of saffron soaked in 2tbsp of luke warm milksalt to taste

For garnishing:few segments of oranges few almond slivers

Saffron almond riceChicken tikkas marinated withgreen mango pasteBell peppers and peas withmayonnaise

▲▲

▲

For fruits spicy and sweetjamboree:For this recipe you can use allkinds of fruits, especially a few ofeach fruit which is left over –grapes, pineapple, musk melon,water melon, apple1 inch piece of cinnamon2 dried red chillies1 cup sugar

METHOD To prepare idlis: Soak the poha

in water for 12-14 minutes. Also,soak the methi seeds in water.Wet grind the poha and the methiseeds once softened and then mixinto the idli batter. Stir gently andmix well. Oil idli moulds – pour asmall portion of the idli and pohamixture into the moulds andsteam till the idlis are risen.

To prepare the green mangosambar: Heat oil and add the methiseeds and allow to splutter. Mix inthe dal and the other veggies and

stir-fry for 2-3 minutes. Add thesambar masala and the curryleaves and also the green mangopieces and continue to stir fry foranother 2 minutes. Lower the heatand add 5 cups of water and salt totaste. Pressure-cook till the dal istender and the veggies in thesambar are also tender. Serve withthe idlis and fruits in cream andsyrup as a full meal.

To prepare the fruit spicy andsweet jamboree: Heat a bowl ofwater in a pan and add all thespices and bring to boil. Mix in allthe fruits and allow the fruits tocook in the spicy water till thefruits are tender but not verymushy. Mix in the sugar and stir tillthe sugar melts, You can adjustthe consistency of this fruit spiceyjamboree as per your choice.

Variation: This fruit spicy andsugary jamboree can be used as atopping with saffron rice to createa new kind of pulao. Tastedifferent and looks good too.

MEAL THREEThis meal is light of the stomach

and the fruits jamboree is awelcome change to regular fruits.And also a perfect way to use uptits and bits of leftover fruits.

Poha rice idlisGreen mango sambarFruits spicy and sweet jamboree

INGREDIENTS:

For poha idli:2 cups fermented idli batter1 cup poha1 tsp methi seedsoil for oiling the idli moulds

For green mango sambar:1 cup tuvar dal3 tbsp oil1/4 tsp methi seedsa small bunch curry leaves2 tsp sambar masala4 drumsticks cut into small pieces1 cup brinjal pieces1 small onions – kept whole2 drumsticks cut into small pieces3 tbsp green mango pieces peeledand cut into small piecessalt to taste

Poha rice idlisGreen mango sambarFruits spicy and sweetjamboree

▲▲

▲

For mashed spiced potatoes withgreen mango:3 cups boiled mashed potatoes6 tbsp mustard oil11/2 tsp panch phoran masala2 dried red chillies100 gm green mango – peeled,and cut into small piecessalt to taste

For Fried karela with greenmango:300 gm karela cut into circles12-14 small onions1 cup mustard oil2 tsp green mango paste1 tsp chopped green mangopieces green salt to taste

METHODTo prepare the mustard fish:

Soak the mustard seeds in waterand then wet grind the yellow andthe black mustard together withthe green chillies.

Sprinkle salt and haldi on thefish pieces and keep aside for 10minutes. Then heat oil for deepfrying the fish. Fry the fish pieceson both sides till crispy and goldenbrown. Remove most of the oilleaving 2 tbsps of oil in the kadhai.

Mix in the mustard and greenpaste and stir fry for two minutes.Add two cups of water and salt totaste.

Bring to a boil and add the friedfish pieces. Continue to cook thefish pieces in the mustard gravyfor 2-3 minutes. Put off the heatand mix in the cream. Serve withplain rice accompanied by themashed green mango potatoes.

To prepare the mashed greenmango potatoes: Place the mashedpotatoes in a mixing bowl. Heatthe mustard oil and add the panchphoran masala and the dried redchillies and allow it to splutter. Putoff the heat and add the choppedgreen mangoes to this. Pour thisoil, spiced and green mangomixture into the mashed potatoes.Add salt to taste and serve withthe mustard fish and steamed riceand top it up with coconut milkpaan ice cream to serve as adelectable summer meal.

To prepare the fried karelas:Soak the karela rings in saltedwater for 15 minutes. Drain outwater and keep aside. Heat the oiland fry the karela pieces on low

fire, adding the sameonions and the green

mango paste andpieces, Cover

with a lid andcook on verylow firestirringfrom timeto time till

the karelasare cooked

and almostcrispy.

MEAL FOURThis meal gives you flavours of

the east. Paan is a common itemafter most meals in Benagl. Wehave tried to create a coconut milkkulfi with the flavour of paan.

Mustard and cream fish withrice

Mashed spiced potatoes withgreen mango

Fried karela with green mango

INGREDIENTS:

For mustard and cream fish withrice:5 pieces rahu fish1 tsp haldi powder1 cup fresh creamsteamed rice to servemustard oil for deep frying thefishsalt to taste

For mustard paste:1 tsp black mustard seeds1 tsp yellow mustard seeds3 green chillies

Mustard and cream fish with riceMashed spiced potatoes withgreen mangoFried karela with green mango

▲▲

▲

For baked/grilled cauliflower: one medium head of cauliflower

For marinade:1 cup curd2 tsp ginger-garlic paste1 tsp red chilli paste1 tsp fresh turmeric paste – youcould replace it with haldi powderif you do not have fresh turmeric 1 cup oil for grilling or roasting thecauliflowersalt to taste

METHODTo prepare the pasta with tofu

and jerkins: Heat the butter in anon-stick pan and fry the tofupieces till golden brown. Removeand keep aside

Boil the pasta in salted water tilltender but not overcooked. In thesame non-stick pan which youused to fry the tofu add the boiledand drained pasta. Lower the heatand mix in the white sauce. Stirgently and continue to cook andstir on low fire adding the oreganoand the black pepper. Put off theheat when the sauce begins tothicken and sticks to the pasta.

Remove to a serving bowl andserve garnished with the fried tofuand jerkins.

To prepare the salsa: Heat 1 cupof water and add the whole spicesand allow to boil for 2 minutes.Lower the heat and mix in thepineapple and tomato choppedpieces and allow the salsa to boilfor 2 minutes more. Mix in thespice powder and the tomatojuice. Continue to stir and cook.Mix the sugar and stir gently forthe sugar to melt. Continue to stirand cook till the salsa begins tothick. Serve with the pasta andbaked cauliflower.

To prepare the grilledcauliflower: Mix the ingredientsfor the marinade and use thismarinade to rub into thecauliflower head and Sprinkle halfthe quantity of the oil over thecauliflower head and allow it torest for 15-20 minutes. Grill thecauliflower in an oven or a grill,using the remaining oil. You couldsprinkle a little sour cream overthe cauliflower head if you so desire.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 47

MEAL FIVE A meal with continental

flavours is always a welcome idea Pasta in white sauce and tofu

and jerkins Pineapple salsaBaked cauliflower

INGREDIENTS:

For Pasta in white sauce and tofuand jerkins:150 gm pasta – any variety youmay choose2 cups white sauce3 tbsp butter1 tsp oregano1 tsp freshly ground black pepper200 gm tofuJerkins as per your choice

For pineapple salsa:1 cup chopped pineapple pieces1 cup chopped tomato pieces1 cup tomato juice1 tsp red chilli powder2 tbsp sugar1 tsp vinegar2 cloves1/2 inch piece cinnamon sticksalt to taste

▲▲

Pasta in white sauceand tofu and jerkins Pineapple salsaBaked cauliflower

▲

48 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

can use small raw green mangopieces

METHODFor apple juice with honey and

ginger served with musk melon:Mix all the ingredients except themusk melon pieces. Place all theingredients in a shaker with icecubes. Pour into a glass and dropthe musk melon pieces into theglass just before serving. You canavoid the ice cubes and keep thesummer drink in the fridge to chillbefore serving.

For Kiwi juice with oregano andchilli flakes served with mangobites: Mix all the ingredients in ashaker except the mango pieces.Chill. Drop the mango pieces intothe glass just before serving thedrink chilled. We

SUMMERREFRESHERS

These summer refreshers canbe served with any of the abovemeals

Apple juice with honey andginger served with musk melon

Kiwi juice with oregano andchilli flakes served with mangobites

INGREDIENTS:

For apple juice with honey andginger served with musk melon:300 ml apple juice1/4 tsp black salt1 tsp or less lemon juice1 tbsp honey2 tsp ginger juice2 tbsp musk melon cut into smallpieces

For Kiwi juice with oregano andchilli flakes served with mangobites:400 ml kiwi juice1 tsp lemon juice1/2 tsp or oregano powder1/2 tsp chili flakes 3 tbsp sweet mango bites or you

Kiwi juice withoregano andchilli flakesserved withmango bites

Apple juice with honey and gingerserved with musk melon

The free giftWell, we got duped in a very strange

manner when we subscribed to a veryprominent English magazine, based inKerala. Their advertisement claimedthat they will provide us an electric ironas a gift if we subscribe to themagazine for 3 years at once. The offerlured us and we decided to avail thisprofitable deal. On an impulse, yes, wedid the same. We were so delightedwhen the gift arrived promptly, withina week. But as soon as we unwrappedthe box, it left us all shocked.

What we found in that box was atiny electric iron which was so small insize that it could only be used to iron ahandkerchief. Moreover, the iron wasbroken as well. All the excitement wentin absolute vain after we saw the iron.It indeed disappointed us andshattered our expectations, but wekept mum on our foolishness. We arehappy as this loss didn't involve bigamount of money.

– Shanthi Ramachandran, Thrissur.

I f you have, at antime, been taken in bya smooth-talking trickster ora clever impostor, share yourexperience with our readers.Contributions should be about 500words typed or neatly written on oneside of the paper only. Rs 200 willbe paid for each accepted andpublished reminiscence. Send it to:

HOW I WAS DUPED

E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.Womansera.com

Name:

Mobile:

E-mail:

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Don’t forget to attach a photograph1. Mark the answers and send us the cutting of this quiz along with this coupon.The last date is 31 May 2017. So hurry up and post it now. 2. The decision of theeditor will be final. 3. Depict your true self only. 4. Send a photograph of your own.It may be printed in Woman’s Era, along with the results. Send to: Woman’s Era, Delhi Press, E-3, Jhandewala, New Delhi-110 055.

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Arpana Agrawal and SmitaSrivastava recently hosted athree -day event titled

“Confluence 2017”, held at PHDchambers of Commerce and industry.This event was solely dedicated to thewomen entrepreneurs and ruralartisans of India and provided themwith a platform to display their skills,exchange techniques, and their views.

Gopal Jiwarajka, President, PHDChamber said that “It is a greatplatform for the womenentrepreneurs and rural artisans toshowcase their talent. We are sohappy to be a part of such eventwhere we encourage women.”

Confluence 2017 had talkingsessions on all three days by eminentspeakers like Rima Kohli, SandhyaSuri, Ekta Chinmai, Rita Gangwani,Rimpy Pilania, Vanshika Chawla, DrGagandeep, Raman Suri and culturalperformances by kids like dancing,skit and singing.

Smita Shrivastava, fromConfluence 2017 said, “It’s a dreamcome true-a centralised platform thatwe aspired to create for womenenterpreneurship. Hunar ko haunsla is

our undercurrent. Let there be lightfor those wish to soar higher.”

Arpana Agarwal, from Confluence2017 said that the vision was to createan elevated platform to unleash thetalent and skills of buddingentrepreneurs and rural artisans.Looms that had woven the mostcolourful pattern or hands that hadcrafted most eye-catching heritageare lying in a shambles.Thinking about thoseneglected and unsungcottage industriesreeling under suchadverse situations,there is a need toreinvigorate them forthe sake of thepotential they hold.

The last day of theevent saw gathering ofeminent personalitieslike Manoj Tiwari.Shovana Narayan,Ashmeen Munjal and Uma Sharmawho not only shared their valuablethoughts on the event but alsofacilitated the budding entrepreneursand artisans for achieving excellencein their fields.

Other highlights of the showincluded Display Stalls, Fashion show,Tarot Card sessions, Book launch andworkshops on Organic products.

About Smita Srivastava andArpana Agarwal

Reckoning force Smita as a socialentrepreneur and Make in Indiaactivist, knows the plight of unsung

artisans. Putting herexperience, she workshard to bring focus onthe inebriated banter.Her shared love for craftsand handicrafts of Indiapledged her to build thebridge between theartisans and theconnoisseurs. Smitabelieves in celebration ofthe triumph of undyingspirit.

Arpana Agarwal hasbeen majorly associated

with Skill India and Make in Indiaprojects. Being a successfulbusinesswoman, Arpana provides aradiant platform--Wonder WomenConnect which empowers buddingwomen entrepreneurs.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 51

CONFLUENCE OFWOMEN ENTREPRENEURS

True entrepreneurs: Uma Sharma andMamta Nath pose with poise at the event.

Arpana Jain Agrawal

All smiles: (L-R) Sandeep Marwah, Smita Srivastava, Manoj Tiwari and Rama Pandey at the confluence 2017.

We

In the century of digital platforms, we allare running for acceptance in the

society. But it will not take us anywhere.People have forgotten how to enjoy themoment and they are busy capturing allof it in their phones. Memories are livedand made but today, we are not living

every moment.

Yellow Elephant motifdress by Saaj Couture by

Ankita paired up withbeautiful hand painted

shoes by Alartz.Casual yet classy brown

embroidered top andjacket paired up with

cool dhoti pants by SaajCouture by Anikita,

completing the look witha cool pair of brown

pompom bellies by Risa.

Location:Apple Tree Banquet Hall,

Indirapuram.

Chic looking shorts with floral motif by Nasty Small Room with black tanktop paired with classy black fur shoes by Risa. White elephant motif crop top

by Saaj Couture by Ankita paired up with casual denim shorts. Completingthe look with brown ankle boots by Risa.

Grey turtle neck top paired with vibrant green skirt by Nasty Small Room,completing the look with hand painted floral shoes and hand painted chic sling bag

by Alartz. And jewellery by Deepika Designs. Blue Sheer top paired with brownfloral motif pants by Saaj Couture by Ankita. Adding to this gorgeous look with

black spiked bellies by Risa and hand painted bag by Alartz.

Short zig-zag printedembroidered dress by Saaj

Couture by Ankita,completing the look with

beige shoes by Risa.

Denim embroidereddress by Saaj Coutureby Ankita, paired up

with yellow omg momhand painted shoes

by Alartz.

Printed crop topwith peach

palazzo by NastySmall Room and

wedge heel shoesby Risa.

Floral motif bluedress by Charkha

paired up withfloral hand painted

shoes by Alartz.

Pink haulter neckembroidered birdmotif jumpsuit bySaaj Couture by

Ankita with handpainted hot pinkwedge heels by

Alartz.Pink haulter neck top

paired withembroidered skirt by

Saaj couture byAnkita. Paired up

with pompom flats by Risa.

Stylist: Sushmita Dey & Madhuri Singh,Make-up artist: Yojna Attri and Team,Photography by: Sumit Kha

It was getting increasinglydifficult to string theflowers these days. Her

deft fingers felt numb aftershe had made just about 10garlands. It was a differentmatter that no one boughtthem. Hardly anyone had thetime to stop by and buyflowers from her. In fact,they rarely noticed the tinydeity nestled inside the darkrecess of the small shrine,almost hidden behind thegulmohar tree. Occasionally,some college student or

young office executive wouldlean against the tree whilethey were waiting for buses.amma would shoo themaway, pointing to theinconspicuous little templebehind the tree and theywould join their hands in aquick prayer and move away,realising that it was sacredground.

You could find a shrine inall add places – under hugetrees, on busy streets, onfootpaths, in front of hugebuildings, at street junctions,everywhere. Amma chosethis one as it was nearer toher home. She did not wishto walk for miles with herflower basket, or stationherself near the big Ganeshatemple, two km down theroad. She could have donebrisk business there but thenshe hated the sight ofbeggars who made it theircommercial centre. So shedecided to set up shop at theHopefarm junction, takingownership of the small shrine

and of the deity that wasinside, silent and neglected.

Her shop was a pile ofstones and a wooden plankthat she had gathered from aconstruction site nearby, onwhich she lay the flowers,neatly arranging them in tinywicker baskets and bananaleaves. The scent of theflowers would keep herhappy, reminding her ofhappier days gone by.

It was always crowded, thisjunction, from morning to

night. The only moments ofquiet was when she wouldarrive at her shop early in themorning. The stray dogs andjoggers were the only signsof life, besides thenewspaper vendors waitingfor the papers to arrive. Attimes, a police patrol vehiclewould be parked there, andthe officer and driver lazilystroll around, stretching theirtired limbs and looking likedead men walking.

How her later life blossomed. By Lovely Dutta Prusty

The FlowerWoman

ShortStory

Her shop was api le o f stones anda wooden p lankthat she hadgathered f rom aconstruct ion s i tenearby, on whichshe lay thef lowers, neat lyarrang ing them int iny wickerbaskets andbanana leaves. By the time the

first vehicles drovedown the street, ammawould be ready with her

garlands, waiting forbusiness to begin. Sheenjoyed watching the

humongous yellowbuses.

By the time the firstvehicles drove down thestreet, amma would be readywith her garlands, waiting forbusiness to begin. Sheenjoyed watching thehumongous yellow buses,ferrying schoolchildren toand fro. Sometimes, she sawa few children looking downat her from their buswindows. She would wave atthem and smile when theywaved back. They wouldremind her of her ownchildren, two boys and a girl.All three of them had diedbefore they barely reachedthe age of five. For yearsafter her children died, oneafter the other, amma criedher heart out. She could notaccept the cruel turn of fate.

And then one day, herhusband brought home hissecond wife, Padma, adelicate, fair girl, who wasyoung enough to be theirdaughter. The poor girl wasscared of her husband whohad actually lured her fromthe village with promises ofgetting her the job of ahousemaid in the city. Manyother women from hervillage had migrated toBengaluru with their familiesto seek jobs. Padma’sparents were stricken bypoverty after successivedroughts which renderedtheir fields dry. The parchedland had nothing to offer thepoor farmers and some ofhad embraced death toescape the miseries of life.

Amma’s husband, Ranga,had a small business offertilisers and crop seeds thathe would sell the farmers at awholesale price. Padma’sfather, Srinivas, was aregular customer and heoften bought seeds andfertiliser on credit. Due to thepoor monsoon in twoconsecutive years his crophad failed and he was in a

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 61

huge debt with Ranga. Theonly solution was for Srinivasto send his elder daughter,Padma, with Ranga to lookfor a job in the city.

But the man had otherplans in mind. For

several days Ranga keptPadma in a lodge, outsidethe city. The girl was tooscared to venture out as sheknew no one who could helpher escape. She sleptthrough the day only to betortured the whole night by aman who was consumedwith lust.

When she stepped intoamma’s house, Padma wasalready pregnant with thechild of the man who hadraped her and then marriedher. Amma was filled withdisgust at her husband. Shewas still mourning for herdead children, while he wasaway gallivanting.

However, when ammarealised that Padma waspregnant, she melloweddown. She ignored Rangabut was tender towards hisyoung wife. She overlookedthe fact that the girl was herrival. All she knew was thatthe girl was pregnant and sheneeded care. Amma did notwant Padma to lose her childthe way she herself had. Thepain of seeing one’s childrendying was too unbearable forany woman and amma hadhad her fair share of it.

She knew that Padmawas not strong enough totake care of herself or theunborn baby so she decidedto take matters into her ownhands. Amma startedcooking food that suited ayoung mother-to-be. Shelovingly fed Padma andensured that she slept welland did no such work whichwould be heavy for her. Forthe next few months she wasengrossed with Padma. It

seemed that her sole motivein life was to keep the girlhappy, healthy and safe. Theonly problem she could nottackle was Ranga. It wasalmost impossible for her tokeep the man away from hisnew wife. The fact that shewas in a delicate physicalcondition did not deter himand every night he was at herbedside.

In that tiny house, wherethe walls were paper-thin,

Padma’s moans would seepthrough and make ammalistless. She would cover herears and bury herself deeper

under the blanket but it wasof no use. The man was abeast as she could rememberher own experiences withhim. He was insatiable. Shewould pray fervently for thesafety of the unborn child.

As Padma’s pregnancyreached an advanced stage,amma suggested that Rangashould send her to hermother’s house for thedelivery, as was the custom.He paid no heed at first thenfinally relented and askedthe girl to pack her clothes.

Padma looked pale in heryellow sari and even thefresh flowers that amma

fixed in her hair could notadd a glow to her face.Amma silently blamed herruthless husband for undoingall the labour of love that shehad put in while taking careof Padma.

“Don’t forget to take yourmedicines on time. Eat welland sleep well. Don’t do anywork. Just chant the shlokas Itaught you. It will make youstrong,” amma’s last-minuteadvice brought a smile toPadma’s face. “Yes, akka…..I will,” she said.

Amma held back her tearswhich choked her throat. Sherecalled the day when shehad gone to her ownmother’s house so manyyears ago for the birth of herfirst child, Neela. Herhusband had taken her to therailway station and theyboarded the train to hervillage. The baby was bornon Janmashtami, the dayLord Govinda was born andhence she was named Neela,after the Lord who had a bluecomplexion.

Days passed. Padma hadbeen gone for almost amonth. Her due date hadalso passed, yet there was nonews. Ranga did not seem tobe too worried about it butamma could not rest. Shewas worried about the girland the baby. She tried tobroach the subject with herhusband but he was hardlyhome and whenever he wasavailable he was either drunkor asleep or in a bad moodand amma could not gatherthe nerve to approach him.

Two months flew by andamma was at her wits’ ends.Where was Padma, shewondered. Finally, shedecided to face her husbandand ask him about her.

“Why are you worriedabout her, woman?”bellowed Ranga. “She mustbe enjoying at her parents’

As Padma’spregnancy reachedan advanced stage,amma suggestedthat Ranga shouldsend her to hermother ’s house forthe del ivery, as wasthe custom. Hepaid no heed atf i rst then f ina l lyre lented and askedthe g i r l to pack herc lothes.

Somebody guided her toPadma’s house, nestledamidst tall neem trees,almost hidden from sight.There was no one outsidewhom she could ask aboutPadma. The silence wasbroken by a shrill cry of ababy from inside the house.Amma smiled. Must bePadma’s newborn.

She was excited andmoved towards the doorcalling Padma by her name.

A woman came out. Shewas almost of amma’s age,but looked much older. Herface looked withered andeyes devoid of any emotion.

“Padma yelli?” askedamma.

The woman stared at herand asked, “Neenu yellindhabandhe?” (Where have youcome from?)

“Bengaluru,” answeredamma. “I am Ranga’s wife,”she clarified before the ladycould ask her.

At the mention of Ranga’sname, the woman’s eyes litup, but she was far fromhappy. She looked shockedand sat down with a thud.Amma rushed to help her butthe woman shuddered as shetouched her shoulder andglared at amma.

“Where is Padma?”Amma asked a second time.The woman began to weep,her face looked even more

place. You mind your ownbusiness!”

“Why don’t you get herhome?” asked amma softly.

“Who’s going to feed twoextra mouths? You? You areone useless woman thatI have to bear as apunishment, and you wantme to bring two more uselessmouths to the house?”Ranga shouted at amma whostood cowering before him,unable to believe that thisman was willing to abandonhis new wife and newly-bornbaby. She said nothing andlistened to his ranting,conscious of the chill that randown her body making hershiver in spite of the hotweather.

That night amma couldnot sleep. She sat on her

bed until the first rays of thesun filtered through the thincurtains. She kept thinking.Why did she lose herchildren? Why did Padmacome into her life? Why wasRanga so reluctant to bringPadma back? Was he notcurious to see his newborn,progeny?

All these questions andsome more kept her awake.

Early the next morning,after Ranga went to work,amma wore her best sari, putsome fresh flowers in herhair, took out the money shehad saved in the old ricedabba and stepped out. Sheboarded the bus toChikkaballapur, and it wasonly when she sat down on aseat near the window andbreathed in the fresh air didshe realise the enormity ofher action. She had never lefttown or even venturedbeyond the premises of herhouse without her husband’sknowledge or permission.Now she had actually left thecity and was headed forPadma’s village.

shrivelled and it seemed asthough the tears poured outfrom the depth of her being.

“Padma is gone,” shesaid, barely audible.

“Gone? Where?” ammafelt a tightness in her chestas though she was unable tobreathe.

The woman lifted herhand up towards the sky

and began to weep again. Amma was shocked. Her

worst fears had come true.She had been worried thatPadma was too frail tohandle her pregnancy. “Whatabout the baby?” she asked.

The woman turned herface towards the open doorbut did not say anything.Amma went into the house.In the dim light of the roomshe saw a small bundle on acot in the corner. Padma’sbaby!

She lifted the baby in herarms. It was a girl.

She felt a rush ofemotions overwhelming her.For years she had missedthat feeling of holding herown baby in her arms. Whenher husband had brought in apregnant Padma she hadoverlooked all other factorsand focused only on the childthat was to be born and nowhere she was. Amma’s eyesfilled with tears. She was sadabout Padma but she washappy that the baby wassafe. She returned toBengaluru that eveningtaking the baby girl with her.

When amma reached herhouse, Ranga was alreadythere, sitting on thedoorstep. He was drunk.

She tried to go past himand enter the house but hepushed her away, not lettingher go in.

“Where did you go?” heasked her in a steely voice.“What is that in your arms?”

“That’s your baby….your

daughter…our daughter,”said amma.

“Why did you bring thatlousy baby to my house?I have no place for two stupidfemales in my house!” hegrowled.

Amma and Ranga stoodfacing each other, one wassilent and the other theimage of a raging bull. Sheknew that he was in his worstmood but she was not willingto let him win this time. Shewould do anything to savethe child and herself. Shealso had to avenge Padma’sdeath. In her mind she heldRanga responsible for thesad end of that lovely girlwho died at childbirth.

Amma gave him a lastlook and turned to walk awayfrom her husband and fromthe place that she had calledhome. It was a big decisionbut then there was noturning back.

It had been 10 years sinceshe had left Ranga and had

started her life anew as aflower woman. She led afrugal life but was happy inthe company of herdaughter, Neela. Yes, shechose to give that name tothe baby in memory of herfirstborn child whom she hadlost so many years ago.Padma’s mother visited hersometimes. They took upfarming of flowers as it had ahuge demand in Bengalurucity and amma became asmall part of the system byselling the flowers sheprocured from them. Sheearned a small amount and itwas barely enough to keepthem going but she enjoyedthe freedom of living life onher own terms. She hopedthat some day Neela wouldbe able to go to a biggerschool just like those childrenshe saw travelling in thosebig yellow buses.

62 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

“Where i s Padma?”amma asked asecond t ime. Thewoman began toweep, her facelooked even moreshr ive l led and i tseemed as thoughthe tears pouredout f rom the depthof her be ing.

We

Are you struggling to get yourchildren to eat healthy? Thereis a good chance that children

will eat something that they have lenta hand in preparing.

During the school holidays, engageyour children in an activity that iseducative and interesting. Involvethem in the whole process, right fromchoosing the veggies and fruits tocleaning, washing, freezing andblending, depending on their age.

Smoothies are the rage and forgood reason. This milkshake-like drinkis easy and quick to make, provides anenergy fix and boosts fruit andvegetable intake for picky eaters.

Smoothies are packed withantioxidants, fibre, vitamins andcalcium depending on what you put inthem.

So, bring on the smoothies whichare fresh, fun and yum.

Be creativeHave a different flavour every day.

Let the children decide what comeswhen.

It could be strawberries one day,banana or a mango another day. Howabout a mix of flavours? Forconvenience, chop and freeze fruits inadvance and pack in zipped bags foreasy usage.

Bring in the coloursMango will yield a yellow

smoothie, while blueberries will giveyou a purple one. Why limit yourselfto one colour? Have a different coloureach day. You never know the kidsmay even clamour for a green onewith healthy green leaves in it. Celery,baby spinach and kale are goodoptions for a green smoothie. Usetried and tested favourites beforeexploring unchartered territories andintroducing greens, beetroots andother unpopular but healthy foods.

Experiment with different liquidsDon’t limit yourself to just yoghurt.

Let your children choose the liquids. Itcould range from juices to almond orsoya milk, to coconut water or even ascoop of ice-cream for that specialday.

Cut out the artificial sugarGradually, wean children off sugar

and let them get used to the naturalsugars in fruits. If required a dash ofhoney could be used as a sugarsubstitute.

Add some textureHow about some healthy seeds

and nuts? Be like the squirrels andbirds and add various nuts likealmonds or walnuts and seeds likemelon, sunflower or chia to name afew.

Serve it in stylePour into a fancy glass, add a

pretty straw and garnish with freshfruit or a paper parasol. Give an Indiantouch and add a few tulsi or corianderleaves for garnish.

Give it a twistPour smoothie into kulfi or

Popsicle moulds and freeze for ahealthy surprise.

Do away with the ice cubesFrozen fruits serve the purpose

quite well. They retain their nutritionand flavour and make the smoothiefrothy doing away with the need forice. Try freezing whole grapes and usethem like ice cubes for a novel twist.

Join the bandwagonTake a sip and declare that it’s the

best smoothie you ever had. Get yourchild to make one for you too for aspecial parent-kid bonding.

Goodness in a glassDid you know your children just

learnt to:✿ Make healthy food choices✿ To enjoy natural flavours✿ Develop a taste for foods he or she

would normally not eat✿ Learnt from mistakes and had fun✿ Added ingredients in proportion✿ Recognise colours and mix two

colours to bring on a third one.✿ Enjoy being in the kitchen✿ Use kitchen appliances carefully

and under supervision✿ And, best of all, spend quality time

with them.

Smoothies for the kids, by the kids.By Vandana Aggarwal

We

DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF TOJUST YOGHURT. LET YOURCHILDREN CHOOSE THELIQUIDS. IT COULDRANGE FROM JUICES TOALMOND OR SOYA MILK, TOCOCONUT WATER OR EVENA SCOOP OF ICE CREAM FORTHAT SPECIAL DAY.

We’re fat. We smoke. We spit.Drink too much. Defecate inthe open. Don’t exercise

enough. We’re short-tempered. We’reill-mannered. And our stress levels areoff the charts.

We’re killing ourselves, and weknow it. And yet we carry on –overeating, lighting up, urinatingseeing a wall, rush to the fields or therailway tracks with a lota, slumping infront of the TV, jumping queues,jostling to catch public transport-inspiring some of the greatestthinkers in the words of genomics,neuroscience, biochemistry andevolutionary psychology to panderthe most puzzling question: why is itso hard for people to change?

Parents try to instill in us thevirtues of being well-mannered rightfrom our early days. Why else do youthink we’re all toilet-trained? Whatthen induces us to grow up and peeon the first available public wall? Whatmakes us pick our teeth in public,slurp or belch during and after meals,walk in a group abreast on thesidewalk, tread on grass in parks ornot allow the other persons to havecomplete sentence?

So…. err, what makes us breachthe code of civility or forget socialcourtesies? Every handbook worth theprinter’s ink or every agony auntworth her advice would ascribesidetracked conduct to culturalmores, states of morality or simply,eccentricity.

Of course, all good manners muststart at home. If Mr Chatterjee walksacross to the balcony of his second-floor flat to spit out a jet of paan juice,why would his teenaged son botherto throw his potato chip wrapper intoa bin? Take the Guptas who stride intoa cinema theatre in full familystrength of over a dozen, their kidsclambering onto the seats and spillingpopcorn all over, while the adultsconstantly guffaw in the darkness. Toeach his own set of codes, trains,notions of civility.

Is it possible that we’re missing aself-discipline gene? Unlikely, thoughthe American National Academy ofScience suggests there may becombinations of genes andenvironmental factors that make ithard for some people to maintaincontrol over their habits.

A study at North Dakota university,

Because civilityis tough. By Maharaja K. Koul

HASSLING HABITS DIE HARD

“We know what we are, but know notwhat we may be.”

– William Shakespeare.

USA, failed to find one person withoutany hard habits. And, the averagenumber of habits per American wasseven. But beyond annoying aroundus, why exactly do we develop them?

You can discover that by looking atthe correct technical name for thesehabits. “Anxiety reducing behavior,”explains Dr Stephen Palmer, a Britishstress management consultant. “Theyhelp ease our anxiety when we findourselves in frustrating situations thatare difficult to tolerate.”

TWO TYPESHabits can generally be broken

down into two types, and both canreveal much about the person whohas them. ‘Boredom habits’ appearwhen someone is anxious, and‘Nervous habits’ are usually to passsome time. “People tend to developnervous habits when they want toescape from a stressful situation,”explains British psychiatrist Dr RajPersaud and author of Staying sane:how to make your mind work not bodyfor you. “Boredom habits differ in thatthey usually revolve around an object.”

Dr Kelly Brown, founder of the YaleHealth, Emotion and Behavior, USA,points to a complex calculus ofintellectual, emotional and oftenphysical incentives at play in breakingbad habits. “If you tend to strugglewhen you’re lonely, then creatingsome kind of social network may helpconquer bad habits. If you strugglewhen you’re depressed, then gettinghelp for depression makes sense,”says Dr Brown Well.

Chinese society is going to get alesson in manners – from thegovernment. Shanghai citizens willnow have to mind their language, orpay a fine for using foul words. Thecity’s cab-drivers are being providedwith special spit sacks to curb theirhabit of rolling down their windowsand hawking into the road. These arejust some of the measures beingimplemented to improve Shanghai’simage. In the rest of the country,authorities are using even morepersuasive means to stop people fromspitting on roads and using obscenelanguage.

Manners are more aboutconsidering the feeling of others thanjust bending with the best. And it’salso about taking responsibility. Theboor’s line of thinking: “Ah, but isn’tthe upkeep of roads the government’sjob? Where are the public loosanyway? Who the hell follows therules anyway? So what if my nephewsare raising hell in the neighbourhood?After all, boys will be boys.”

If you’re to be respected in society,you must also respect society. If youthink the world is your own, you’ll bemore careful of its denizens and theirbelongings. If you feel like an alienyou’ll behave like one. Just goes toshow that the ones exhibiting badhabits and i-don’t care-a-damnattitude are the ones who are the realsocial outcasts while the polished‘ladies and gentlemen’ are the peopleeverybody graviates towards. Whichone are you?

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 65

It’s good to have regrets!

We’re taught from childhoodto try our best to live a lifewithout regret but why?American journalist and authorKathryn Schulz recently said inher TED talk, “Regret doesn’tremind us that we did badly. Itreminds us that we know we cando better. The point isn’t to livewithout any regrets, the point isnot to hate ourselves for havingregrets… rather, we need tolearn to love the flawed,imperfect things that we create,and forgive ourselves forcreating them. If we have goalsand dreams and we want to doour best and if we love peopleand don’t want to hurt them orlose them we should feel painwhen things go wrong.”

People who deny having anyregrets or refuse toacknowledge their faults, neverget to know themselves well intheir entire lives unless peoplecorrect their mistakes orunderstand that their actionsmay have hurt people, theydon’t evolve as human beings.Denial is a primitive emotionalresponse, which never solvesany problem.

After you accept regret, it’simportant to make peace with it.Laugh at your regret, don’tburden yourself with its weight.Once you lighten the process ofacceptance, you automaticallymove to a better position tochange things if it is changeable.Or just lighten the issue. Whenyou laugh at your own regret, ithelps you survive. Rememberthat a life without regret is a lifenot lived. Don’t worry if your listof regrets is really long, itdoesn’t means you did badly. Itmean you could do better. Learnto deal with the pain that comeswith regrets. Cherish your worstchoices, try to change them ifyou feel they can be changed. Orjust laugh at them. But acceptthem. Don’t regret regret!

The boor’s boo-boos!

✿ Slurping, belching while eating inpublic!

✿ Not allowing the other person tocomplete a sentence!

✿ Talking and laughing loudly inpublic!

✿ Blaring music from the car or home!✿ Spitting!✿ Littering!✿ Leaving pet excreta on the

pavement!✿ Flouting traffic signals, jumping

queues!✿ Say “Hello!” instead of “Yesss!

Who’s that?” on the phone!✿ Not apologising when one dials a

wrong number!✿ Hunching over one’s mouth open!✿ Chewing with one’s mouth open!✿ Picking one’s teeth!✿ Blowing one’s nose!✿ Not introducing a friend!✿ Peeing in public!✿ Disregarding RSVPs!✿ Not looking at a person when he

or she is talking!✿ Farting in public!

We

If we are completely honest withourselves, everyone has a dark side

to their personalities.

I am a 25-year-old woman. I had a love marriage a few monthsago and my husband and I considered ourselves very lucky,when within a couple of weeks of our wedding, my husbandwas posted abroad for long. He left immediately and his officeassured him that I could join him within a few months.

I stayed behind quite happily because I had got along wellwith my in-laws even before I had got married. However, aproblem I had never expected, has now surfaced.

My problem surfaced soon after my husband left. After Ihad had my bath one day, I went to the kitchen to get myself acup of coffee. To my surprise my mother-in-law stopped meand told me that she had decided that both of us would go tothe temple every morning and eat or drink anything only afterthat.

I laughed and told her that I didn’t believe in prayers,fasting and the like and reached for the coffee-maker. But Iwas totally taken aback when my mother-in-law snatched thecoffee-maker from my hand and began to rave and rant. Thegood-humoured, affectionate woman I had known till then,suddenly disappeared and an angry termagant took her place!

I ran away to my room and rang up my husband and toldhim what had happened. To my shock, he told me that hismother very occasionally had fits of anger like that. He told hisfather would deal with the situation and his mother wouldcome back to normal soon and would not even rememberwhat had happened.

My husband behaved as ifnothing much had happenedbut I am extremely worried. Iwonder if the children myhusband and I have couldinherit these fits.

Should I then avoid havingchildren?

First, talk to your father-in-law and see what he says about your mother-in-law’scondition.

Find out if she is under treatment. If she is, you should takeher medical papers to a specialist in this matter and get him totell you what exactly is wrong with her in language that youcan understand.

If she hasn’t been having treatment you should find out ifshe needs any. After all, many strides have been made in thefield of medical science since your mother-in-law began tohave problem.

The important thing for you is to find out if her problemcan be passed on to children you and your husband will have.You should plan your future actions, depending on theanswers to this question. If necessary your husband shouldreturn and be with you till all your questions are answeredand then decide what to do.

I am a 32-year-old married woman. I have been married 10years but my husband and I have no children. My husbandaccepts this as fate but I am not able to do this. As a result, Iam constantly depressed. I do not work and so spend all mytime moping at home.

Three months ago, when my husband and I had gone on a

Q A&PersonalProblems

holiday to a hill station, a miracle took place. It was the lastday of our stay there and we had vacated our room in thehotel in which we were staying and were doing some shoppingbefore we left for home when we saw a little boy sitting by theroadside and crying. No one was paying any attention to himand no one even noticed when we went up to the child andasked him why he was crying.

The boy looked about 2 ½ years old, was well-dressed andseemed to be from a good family. He told us that he did notknow where his parents were. When we questioned himfurther, it became obvious hat he had got separated from hisparents when they were in the crowded marketplace. We thenasked the child in which direction his parents had gone and hepointed in one direction.

We took the child and went in that direction, but we didnot find the child’s parents. After some time the child fellasleep in my arms.

I stared at the sleeping boy and I don’t know whathappened to me. I suddenly felt sure that the child in my armswas meant to be mine. I told my husband this and though heprotested feebly, it was obvious that he too had fallen in lovewith the beautiful little boy.

We brought the boy home and told our relatives,neighbours and friends that we had adopted him.He cried for some weeks, but in a

surprisingly short time heaccepted us and began to be happy.

I am now happier than I have ever been.Over the weeks, my husband has begun to beafflicted by pangs of guilt. He says that we are thieves, that wecould be arrested by the police. He also says that someparents somewhere must be heartbroken.

Just think of the parents who lost this boy and who must bemad with grief and you will know what you have to do. Youhave to give up this child who is theirs and not yours.

You should, therefore at once take the child to the policestation nearest to the place you found him and where hisparents are likely to have filed a missing child complaint abouthim. You should consult a lawyer about how you should dothis because you could be in trouble for having “stolen” thechild and having kept him all this time.

Since you say that the child was well-dressed and seemedto be from a good family, his parents are likely to be in touchwith the police and asking them regularly if they have foundany trace of the child. In that case, the child is likely to beunited with his parents quickly.

But if, for some reason, the child is not united with hisparents, you could find out how you could adopt him.

66 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

talismans throughout their lives as itis believed that the practice enhancesthe well-being of her husband andfamily. It is also believed that themangalsutra protects the marriagefrom any evil.

Many Vedic experts say thatsindoor is placed on the parting of thehair to signify that the wife is nowunder the protection of her husband.Fast forward to the 21st century, if Idon’t put sindoor would my husbandnot care for me?

I am not opposed to these signs,neither am I a stickler for them. Ifollow what I like and discard what Idon’t. I feel that this should not be animposition but left to the individual todecide. In my opinion, symbols arenow just symbols to be displayed onsymbolic occasions.

I got married a few months backand, talking about wedding symbols,well, for me these are just accessoriesand do not signify anything else. Iwear my wedding ring all the time notbecause I am expected to but I like it. Idon’t wear bindi or sindoor simplybecause I don’t like the idea. But thatdoesn’t mean I dislike all thesemarriage symbols. I do wear somejewellery on some occasions tocomplement my outfit and notbecause they symbolise my marriage.

THE PET PHRASE“You are married? You don’t look

like you are” is a phrase I have heardmany a time since my marriage. Ireally don’t know whether to take itas a compliment or not. For somepeople, a married woman is supposedto look different as if her appearanceannounces her marital status. But dothese symbols stamp one’scommitment to marriage? Justbecause one does not happily adornoneself with these accessories

doesn’t mean they consider theirmarriage unimportant.

There are people inour society who keep askingabout the absence ofbindi/sindoor on a woman’sforehead and mangalsutraaround her neck and I reallydon’t understand with what

intention they question and what theypossibly allude to. There are gossipmongers who go like:

“She doesn’t wanna look married”or “She doesn’t love her husbandenough” or my personal favourite,“She is a rebel”

But none of these is true as all sheis doing is being herself. Thesesymbols actually should not be a scaleto judge someone’s character.

There is no doubt that a womanlooks beautiful in her wedding dress,jewellery, and make-up. The vermilionon her forehead, the bangles, ankletsand other accessories highlight herfeminine attributes. The rituals alsoinvoke a relationship of seven births,and are made complete by tying amangalsutra and applying sindoor.Yes, I completely agree but why has itbecome a necessity for women towear all these every day even whenthey are not comfortable?

It should rather be a matter ofpersonal choice and should not beforced. I have nothing against womenwho wear a mangalsutra/sindoor/bindi, it’s a personal choice.Personally, I can’t stand jewellery fora very long time. It irritates my skin.But someone else may love wearingjewellery and may even take pride insporting the so-called essentials of amarried Hindu woman. Moreover, thebaseless “suhaag ki nishaani” (sign ofmarriage) stories should not bepropagated. It is more important tolove and care for your partner thanindulge in materialistic things to proveyour commitment.

We have been following thesetraditions for really long and it’s hightime now that women should beallowed to choose what is best forthem. With our progressive outlookand educated family backgrounds,mature people should have all thefreedom to choose what is best forthem.

Live your life in its entirety, notthrough symbols. With time, the valueof these symbols has diminished and Ibelieve marriage is more than just asymbol, isn't it?

Beta, where isyour

Bindi?Why such questions?By Saloni Maheshwari

We

Ibelieve that truth should bespoken and uncomfortablequestions should be asked. This is

about one such question – Why domarried people (mostly women) needto wear signs indicating their maritalstatus? What is “ek chutki (a pinch of)sindoor” all about? Are the weddingsymbols just a label that read“unavailable” or is there actuallymore to it?

Hindu married women are asked towear a mangalsutra, sindoorvermition, rings, bangles and other

Most folks are about as happy asthey make up their minds to be.

Most women and their familiesare concerned about healthand well-being of the baby in

the womb when pregnant and takeadvice and appropriate precautions tokeep mother and baby healthy. Butactually they must start takingprecautions when planning thepregnancy for about 12 months. So,women must know what to do beforethey even try to get pregnant. Womenshould be aware of what precautionscan be taken prior to conception toensure their own health duringpregnancy and also of the baby in thewomb.

Women planning to have a babyshould be healthy. It is better thatthey are not suffering from anychronic disease. If suffering fromdiseases like diabetes, high bloodpressure or other diseases, theyshould seek the advice of the doctor.He or she will inform them about thepossible problems during pregnancyand precautions necessary. Thedisease should be treated orcontrolled by the right types of drugwhich are less harmful duringpregnancy.

✿ They should not be suffering fromanemia or any other nutritionaldeficiencies. If so, these should becorrected.✿ If obese or overweight, theyshould try to reduce weight. Eventhose underweight should try toincrease the weight as both situationscan cause adverse outcomes. Tryingto get pregnant and during pregnancythey should not do dieting.

✿ The American college ofObstetricians and gynecologists hasrecommen ded that all women shouldget medical check-up before they tryto conceive. In these examinations,the focus should be on key factorsnecessary for a healthy pregnancy.

They should look for anaemia,weight, blood pressure, bloodglucose, severe infections andsexually transmitted diseases such assyphilis, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, AIDS,chlamydia, etc. These can interferewith conception. They also can affectthe woman’s health during pregnancyand even of the baby in the womb.

PROTECTIONBEFORE YOU

CONCEIVEHow to plan for it. By Dr Sonal Agarwal

✿ Women should be protected fromthe rubella virus either through priorexposure or by vaccination. If womenhad never suffered from rubella(German measles), then the vaccineshould be taken six months prior toconception as rubella infection duringpregnancy, especially during the firsttrimester can cause seriousmalformations in the baby, evendeath in the womb or abortion. ✿ If Women are consuming any drugfor their chronic disease, they shouldconsult the doctor about their plan.The doctor can change the drugswhich are relatively safer for pregnantwomen and babies.✿ In certain situations, women needgenetic counselling and tests. If theyhave the history of repeatedabortions, premature, low-weightbabies or abnormalities in babies inwombs can be recognised andsometimes corrected. After geneticcounselling, expecting mothers andfathers are informed about thechance of birth defects and risks.✿ Women having complications likegestational diabetes, pregnancy-induced hypertension, pre-eclampsia,eclampsia, etc during previouspregnancy, should get advice fromthe doctors before planning anotherbaby.✿ Most exercises are safe, whenplanning pregnancy but they shouldavoid, the activities that increase therisk of injuries, such as horsebackriding, kick boxing, scuba diving,downhill skiing, etc. ✿ If they have a history ofmiscarriage, the women shouldconsult the doctor before engaging inany type of strenuous exercise oractivities when planning to conceiveagain.✿ Most women are well aware that itis important to take vitamin foil acidsupplement during pregnancy, whichcan protect the baby from seriousbirth defects.

It is more important to take folicacid supplement prior to conceptionsas it is important for the baby rightfrom the very moment baby isconceived. Many women can bepregnant four, six or eight weeksbefore they know it. So, taking folic

acid prior to conception (Prenatalvitamin) will ensure that the baby hasenough supply of this vital vitaminfrom the very first day.✿ Studies have shown that smokingand tobacco can make it harder forwomen to get pregnant. It lowerstheir fertility by directly affecting theovaries and decreasing oestrogenstronger hormone secretion.Stopping smoking, tobacco and illicitdrugs during pregnancy planninghelps women to get pregnant quicker.It also ensures that women andbabies remain healthy. This alsoapplies to future expectant dads too.✿ Coffee and other caffeinecontaining products like soft drinksmedicine, etc can harm the baby inthe womb if consumed in large

amounts. Women planning pregnancyshould limit the use of coffee to lessthan two cups a day. They shouldcurtail the other products whichcontain caffeine.✿ Artificial sweeteners like saccharin,Sugar Free, etc have an adverseimpact on pregnant women andbabies in the womb, so they shouldalso be curtailed.✿ Excess alcohol drinking canadversely affects the would-bemothers and the baby. So, womenplanning a baby should stopconsuming alcohol. This rule is also fordads.✿ Women planning to conceive mustuse proper safety precautions againstpotential harmful chemicals like leadpaints, pesticides, insecticides, etc.✿ Infections can have an adverseeffect during pregnancy planning andpregnancy. To avoid infections theyshould follow the hygiene principles,when planning to conceive. Theyshould wash their hands with soapand water after using bathroom,before eating, after handling pets andsoil. They should not handle cat, dogand other animals, litters and theirexcreta. Let others do the job. Theyshould avoid food and drinks whichmay be infected on the roadside. Theyshould use pasteurised milk or milkafter boiling, should avoid raw meat,raw fish unwashed vegetables andfruits.

These precautions will improveyour odds of conceiving earlier,easier; will help you in having ahealthier pregnancy, delivery of babyand early recovery after delivery.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 69

We

BUT IT IS MOREIMPORTANT TO TAKEFOLIC ACIDSUPPLEMENT PRIOR TOCONCEPTIONS AS IT ISIMPORTANT FOR THEBABY RIGHT FROM THEVERY MOMENT BABY ISCONCEIVED.

The farther behind I leave the past,the closer I am to forging my own

character.

Readers/writers are invited to send their queries

related to publishing of articles, news, features, fiction,

cookery, fashion, interior and ideas to:

Editor@womansera.com

Om Vishvam VishnurVashatkaro BhutaBhavya Bhavat

Prabhuh. VishnuSahasranamam was beingplayed at Anandashram, theold-age home inAhmedabad. This was a signthat the inmates of theashram had started theirdaily routine. Suddenly, thealarm went off. A hush sweptthrough the entire ashram.This alarm meant that one ofthe inmates was ill or, evenworse. Saroja got up andrushed outside. She asked,“What happened?”

“Mr Raghav has had aheart attack. We haveinformed Dr Mishra andcalled an ambulance.”

Mr Raghav had joinedAnandashram three yearsback. He was a well-travelledand well-informed

gentleman. He had broughtabout a lot of changes in theashram within a few monthsof his joining. He startedteaching the inmates to leadan active life, by involvingthemselves in yoga, chess,gardening and many moresuch activities. Initially, therewas some resistance to hischanges. But by his sheernature, he started becomingvery popular with all theinmates of the ashram. Soon,many of them started going

to him to get their problemsand issues resolved.

The ambulance hadarrived and there was a

buzz in the ashram. Thedoctor came out of MrRaghav’s room and declared,“He is no more.”

Everyone was shocked.They could not come toterms with the fact that theman who was watchingcricket on TV with themyesterday and cheeringloudly when a batsman hit aboundary was no more.

Mr Ojha, the in-charge ofthe ashram, went to theoffice room and everyonegathered outside. Mr Ojhawas heard saying, “No onevisited Mr Raghav in thesethree years. He did not evengive us any contact numberor address. What should wedo now? We might be leftwith no other option but toperform his last ritesourselves.”

To what end? By Rama Rao

Drifting ApartShortStory

Yes, i t was truethat in thesethree years noone had v is i tedMr Raghav. Noneof the inmateshad the courageto ask h im abouth is personal l i fe .He was such agood person thatnobody wanted tohurt h is fee l ingsby ask ing h im anypersonalquest ions.

Hehad brought

about a lot of changesin the ashram within a fewmonths of his joining. He

started teaching the inmatesto lead an active life, byinvolving themselves in

yoga.

Yes, it was true that inthese three years no one hadvisited Mr Raghav. None ofthe inmates had the courageto ask him about his personallife. He was such a goodperson that nobody wantedto hurt his feelings by askinghim any personal questions.The rule of the ashram was toinform the immediate kithand kin whose contactnumbers were with theashram. If there was no one,the ashram took on theresponsibility of completingthe last rites. There was astoic silence all around.Mr Raghav’s dead body wasbrought to the loungeoutside and preparations forthe last rites were going on.It was very difficult foreveryone to bid adieu to MrRaghav.

They were all waiting withteary eyes. Just then a

Maruti Swift car stoppednear the ashram gate. Awoman and a young girl gotdown from the car andentered Mr Ojha’s office.Everyone recognised theyoung girl as Gita, a studentwho had spent some time inthe ashram a few monthsback working on a researchtopic for her college thesis.They assumed that she hadcome back for somethingconnected to her research,and wanted to tell her thatthe ashram was in mourningand that it was the wrongtime to visit.

They were in for a shockwhen she said, “We will betaking care of his last rites.We will be taking his body toour village.”

“But, Gita, you never toldus you were related to MrRaghav when you visited us,”said Mr Ojha.

“I am Mr Raghav’s daughter,and this is his estranged wifeMadhu, my mother.”

Mr Ojha was shocked,“But, where were you allthese years? Why didn’t MrRaghav ever mention you oryour mother at any time?Why didn’t you both visit himeven once in these threeyears?”

“Please Mr Ojha, havepatience. We will explaineverything to you. Do showus a room where we can restfor a bit. My mother needssome rest. She is in shockand is grieving.”

“Sure,” said Mr Ojha.Madhu and Gita were

taken to the guest room.“Mom, have a wash and takesome rest. I will go with MrOjha and complete allpaperwork necessary to takedad’s body home,” sayingthis, Gita left the room.

Madhu was very calm allthis while, but when sheheard Gita say ‘Dad’, shestarted sobbing bitterly. Shehad a walk down hermemory lane.

Thirty years back, Madhuand Raghav got married inDelhi. Since both were fromaffluent families, thewedding was agrand affair.ThoughMadhu andRaghav’smarriagewas anarrangedone, they hadthe opportunity

to meet a few times beforetheir wedding and exchangetheir views on everything.During one such meeting,Raghav told her that duringhis college days, he hadloved a girl called Priya, butthings had not worked outdue to differences betweentheir families. Things wentnowhere, despite theirattempt to convince theirrespective families andfinally they had broken up.He told Madhu that Priyawas a distant past now, andthat he didn’t even know herwhereabouts. Madhu

assured him that shetrusted him totally.

Raghavworked as asales managerin an MNC. Hehad just

changed his job,and was now

based in Mumbai. They leftfor Mumbai right after thewedding. Life was blissful forboth of them. They weremadly in love with each otherand the days went by! Due tothe nature of his job, Raghavwould continuously be awaytravelling. Initially this didn’taffect Madhu, but slowly shestarted getting bored athome. Although she workedas a teacher before, she hadgiven that up after gettingmarried. Raghav coaxed herinto taking up work again.She initially was resistant tothe idea, but after two yearsshe decided to go ahead. Sheloved teaching and slowlybecame immersed in theschool’s activities androutine. The workload wasalso quite heavy.

Raghav was on a businesstrip to London, while

Madhu was busy that day inschool. The phone rang, itwas from Raghav’s office,“Madam, sir sends moneyevery month to a certainaddress in Ahmedabad.However, now that addressseems to have changed. Wejust received the new“But,

Gita, you nevertold us you were relatedto Mr Raghav when you

visited us,” said Mr Ojha.“I am Mr Raghav’s daughter,

and this is his estrangedwife Madhu, my

mother.”

Madhu didn’t knowwhat to say. Shehad no c lue whyRaghav sent moneyto Ahmedabadevery month. Shewas a lso upsetbecause she hadthought she knewal l deta i l s about h isf inances.

his room and check.’ She feltguilty about thinking so andbanished this idea from hermind, but she couldn’t sleepthe whole night.

Next morning, she wentstraight to Raghav’scupboard and startedlooking through his papers.She felt guilty but went rightahead. Initially she didn’t findanything and was relieved.But she stumbled upon abook full of poems. The firstpoem read:

Oh beloved, I want toimmerse myself in the oceanof your eyes.

They tell me so manythings which you don’texpress in words

I love you so much mybeloved, I pray nothing makesus part

I can’t imagine life, or evendeath, without you!”

The book was full of suchpoems. Madhu was quitesurprised. Raghav had nevertold her that he wrotepoems. There was a letterfrom one of the leadingpublishing houses that theywere looking forward topublishing his first volume ofpoems and, as requested, itwould be dedicated to his

address, and are planning tosend the money to thisaddress. Is that okay?”

Madhu didn’t know whatto say. She had no clue

why Raghav sent money toAhmedabad every month.She was also upset becauseshe had thought she knew alldetails about his finances –savings, bank accounts,investments etc. But why didhe hide the fact that he sentmoney every month tosomeone in Ahmedabad?When she asked him aboutthe money being sent everymonth, he replied that it wasfor an old age home. Raghavsaid that he was planningtheir retirement in the old-age home. Madhu was justnot convinced with this reply.Being from affluent families,this didn’t seem arequirement at all!

A thought struck her,‘What other secrets doesRaghav have? Let me go to

heal the increasing riftbetween the couple. Raghavwas an introvert by natureand this, along with hiscontinuous business tours,did not help matters. Madhuwas feeling very lonely, anddecided to plunge herselfdeeper into her work in theschool.

One day, she received acall from her mother,

“Beti, your father has had amassive heart attack. I amrushing to Delhi in anambulance. Come there assoon as you can.”

Madhu packed her bagsand took the first availableflight out of Mumbai. Raghavwas away on a business tripto New York, and she feltthat he wouldn’t care.

As soon as she reachedDelhi, she was sucked into avortex of activities in thehospital. Meeting doctors,arranging for money, andrequesting her father’scompany for insurance help.However, after 10 days, herfather had a second heartattack and passed away. Shewas heartbroken. Afterspending some time with hermother in the village, shedecided to return to Mumbai.

Raghav heard about hisfather-in-law’s demise whenhe returned from New York.He thought of rushing toDelhi immediately, but

Madhu had returned toMumbai by then. However,she was in for a shock whenshe entered the house. Shesaw a lady playing with a kidin the living room.

“Who are you?”“I am Priya, Raghav’s old

friend from college. I stay inAhmedabad but have cometo Mumbai as my childneeded to see a doctor.

“I have been here for 10days while Raghav was away.He said I could stay in theapartment and use it.”

Madhu was very upset.She wasn’t convinced withwhat Priya was saying. Shecouldn’t come to terms withthe fact that Raghav hadstayed alone with Priya for aweek. She somehow feltcheated. She thought,‘Raghav didn’t have time tocome for my father’s lastrites, but he had time tospend with Priya.’

First the money being sentto Ahmedabad, then the

poems dedicated toApoorva, and now Priyacoming from Ahmedabadand staying in their house.This was the final straw!Madhu decided to leave forher parents’ home. She kepta note for Raghav asking himto forget about her and moveon. She told him that mutualtrust between them wasanyway broken, and it waspointless to continue theirrelationship. She didn’t waitto talk to Raghav and hearhis side of the story.

Madhu went back to herparents’ home and settleddown into that routine. A fewweeks passed and sherealised that she waspregnant. After a fewmonths, Gita was born.Luckily, Madhu had the fullsupport of her mother andshe could easily bring Gitaup. Her father had saved

Thirtyyears back,

Madhu and Raghav gotmarried in Delhi. Since

both were from affluentfamilies, the wedding

was a grand affair.

beloved ‘Apoorva’. Madhuwas shocked – who wasApoorva?

She confronted Raghavwith ‘Apoorva’, but he

feigned ignorance. Thatmade Madhu even more

irritated. Days passedand nothing helped

First the moneybeing sent toAhmedabad, thenthe poemsdedicated toApoorva, and nowPr iya coming f romAhmedabad andstay ing in the i rhouse. Th is was thef ina l st raw!

enough for the family, sothey never faced anyfinancial problems.

Gita started growing upand going to school. Madhufelt the urge to get back tobeing a teacher, so shejoined the local villageschool. Amidst all of this, shenever failed to wonder whydestiny had separated herfrom Raghav. Such an abruptend to a blissful marriage.

In all these years, Madhunever met Raghav again.Gita grew up to be a strong,self-willed girl. She neverasked about her father. Sheassumed that something hadgone wrong between hermother and father. Shealways wondered why herfather never came and mether, or even asked about her.The days went by and Gitahad to decide what careershe wanted to pursue. Shedecided to pursue journalismas a career and joined acollege in Ahmedabad. Aspart of her course work, shetook up a project on thefunctioning of old-agehomes in India, and one ofthe field trips involvedvisiting Anandashram inAhmedabad.

Madhu entered Gita’sroom, and found Gita writingsomething. Madhu put herhands on her shoulders andasked lovingly, “What is thematter? What happened inAhmedabad? Why have youbecome so quiet nowadays?”

Gita hugged Madhu andstarted sobbing. She said,“I met dad in Ahmedabad –in an old-age home! Irecognised him from thephotos you had shown me.He is taken care of very welland is very happy there.I didn’t let him know that Iam his daughter. I spentmore time with himcompared to the otherinmates of the ashram, and

he opened up a little bit. Hetold me how he had abruptlyseparated from his wife andhow he coped with theseparation. He mentionedthat he had published a bookof poems in your memory,and had named it Apoorva asyou were apparently one of akind for him.”

Madhu felt very guilty onhearing this.

Gita continued,“Apparently he had starteddonating money toAnandashram early on in his

life. He had an idea thatinstead of worrying about oldage later, he wanted to planfor it early. Since he haddonated a substantialamount to Anandashram, hecould stay there at a verysubsidised amount. He istaken care of well and is veryhappy.”

Madhu was shocked tohear all this. She said,

“I want to go to Ahmedabadthis very minute. Can youcheck what flights areavailable?” But just then thephone rang. “Yes, this is Gitaspeaking. What, mygoodness! Okay, I amcoming there right away.”

Gita told her mother,“Dad has passed away. Ineed to go immediately. Imean, we need to goimmediately.”

As she sat in the guestroom at AnandashramMadhu could not control hertears while she thoughtabout the past. “Why did we

part, and why did we unite inthis manner?

Gita finished talking to MrOjha and entered the guestroom. She saw that hermother was sleeping. Gitafelt bad about waking her up.But she had to do it! Shewent to wake Madhu up, butMadhu didn’t stir. When Gitachecked her pulse, sherealised in anguish thatMadhu had breathed herlast.

Gita found the strengthand courage to helpcomplete the last rites ofboth Raghav and Madhu.She didn’t believe in miraclesand fate, but she realisedthat there was somethingfateful about the way herparents met, separated andunited again!

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 73

We

I like being a strong,independent woman, andto be honest, I was neverafraid to be on my own.

Madhu wasshocked to hear a l lth is . She sa id, “ Iwant to go toAhmedabad th isvery minute. Canyou check whatf l ights areavai lab le?” Butjust then thephone rang.

Aright is not worth a right if itcannot be enforced. A rightmay be acquired, earned or

accrued to an individual in his or herlife time. A right is ‘acquired’ byinvesting money or rendering servicefor obtaining returns or the dividends.It is ‘inherited’ from the date of birthon the considerations of age, sex,caste, religion, education and theplace of birth and the economic statusof the family in which one is bornwhich qualify one for certainconcessions or the liabilities as per theconstitutional, civil, criminal and thepersonal laws. A right is ‘accrued’ byoperation of laws, mainly

Development brings pressure onmoney resources, giving rise to theproblem of price rise. In this backdropno family can afford to be left highand dry. The conventional system ofcriminal law is more punitive thanreformatory. It hardly redresses theconscience of the state whichrepresents the victim by awardingstringent punishment for life and evendeath. On the other hand, the convict,

be it the individual or the family;

74 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

Concept ofRight & Criminal

Justice inCYBER AGELegally speaking.By Ashutosh Agarwal

dealing with wages, taxation,domicile, civil and the criminalmatters. One who is upright andinnocent may find oneself to besuddenly dragged into the fold ofcriminal law when a wrongdoercauses wrong to a person’s life,property or reputation.

The focus on this aspect covers thewhole kingdom of criminal laws. Inthe cyber age the development isgoing on in leaps and bounds not onlyin the realm of S&T but in every field.

both face the challenge of socialacceptability.

This is ironically true, when theaccused comes out of the jail aftercompleting the sentence, whereuponthe person is assumed to be anupright citizen. Consequently, theobjectives behind punishment fail,firstly, in rehabilitating the families ofa victim as well as to the convict,secondly purging the guilty mind ofthe convict. The million-dollarquestion that arises is, if these two

sufferings of the old parents may bealleviated to some extent by chargingthe estate of the convict for themaintenance of the former.

COURSE OF JUSTICEThis, however, does not mean that

where the pocket of an offenderallows big payments, the personshould go scot-free. Might is rightcannot be the foundational bedrockof a peaceful society. The guilty mindhas to be punished by way ofdeterrence. At the same time theconvict has to be rehabilitated,otherwise, it would be just like anoperation of cleaning one’s premisesbut throwing the garbage ontoanother’s. The very purpose ofpunishment by our present system ofcriminal law fails in achieving totalcleanliness in a given society.

There have been instances whereexemplary punishment, like publicexecutions in one of the states of theUSA instead of decreasing, increasedthe incidence of heinous crimes in the1940s. There is no death penalty in thecriminal statute of Portugal. On theother hand, there have been instanceswhere a convict repeated the samekind of offence when he had

completed hissentence. While this isso, it must also be

appreciated thatpunitive detention for a

whole life is not worsethan the death. Where

the criminal as well as thevictim are capable and

have affluent backgrounds,a penalty to the extent of 20 percent of the estate may be

charged to help rehabilitation of thepoor victims of other crimes.

The present civilisation is acivilisation of civilised people. Thedevelopments in the discipline ofpsychology have shown that it ispossible to turn a patriot into a traitorand vice versa. Let the techniques betried to apprehend the murderers andrapists so thoroughly that repetitionof such crimes by the same individualsbecomes too remote, instead ofincarcerating them in the jails which

are managed out of the funds ofpublic revenue.

The convict may be released fromthe sanatorium on a certificate givenby a qualified psychiatrist to thateffect. After his release the man mayresume duties in the office or place ofwork. Instead of a policeman it is thepsychiatrist who impinges the sort ofdeterrence onto the mind of aconvict. An ex-convict may be calledfor follow-up in a sanatorium, fromtime to time. The charges for‘treatment’ may be recovered fromthe estate of the convict. Psychiatristswho are able to evolve techniques toapprehend convicts in record time maybe given appreciation. Wide publicitymay be given through the media ofthe new methods of dealing with thecrimes so that the criminal doesn’tfeel any hitch in accepting the crime.

ROLE OF POLICEThe role of the police would be to

nab the criminals on the basis of firstinformation reports (FIRs) andproduce them before the court within24 hours of arrest. If the identity ofthe criminal is not known to the victimthen the victim should also be askedto certify any complicity in the crimebefore the court in the same sitting.No third-degree methods may be usedto extort the confession. The judgemay simply ask the criminal if theperson accepts the complicity in thecrime, which they may or may not. Ifthe persons declines, chances are heor she speaking the truth. Yet thepolice may keep a vigil on theiractivities when set free.

The full photograph of their bodyand finger prints may be obtainedbefore release. If the accused acceptsthe complicity, chances may be thatthey might be doing so to protect thereal person behind the crime. In thatcase, they must convince the policeofficer on the modus operandi and theinvestigating officer has to certify theinvolvement of the man before thecourse is correct.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 75

whatsoever by a high court judgewhen the former had volunteered tomarry the victim, was criticised incertain quarters. There should be noharm when the rehabilitation of thevictim and the offender and also oftheir families is brought about by asingle stroke. A victim of rape can’t becompensated in terms of money. Theloss suffered by an old parent losingan only child at the prime of his or heryouth can’t be redressed even whenthe murderer is hanged. The

We

objectives can be realisedsimultaneously, withoutcompromising the other.

While loss to the property may becompensated in terms of money, lossto the reputation may becompensated by compelling thewrongdoer to seek public apology andnotifying the same to all those whohad taken notice of the defamatorystatement made against the victim attheir own expense.

Nowadays we are coming acrossinnovative punishments beingawarded by the judges which areunknown to the domains of penalstatutes, which sometimes attractcriticism from society.

A compromise effected byabsolving the rapist of any penalty

I think that's the most importantthing you can do to be a real person

- is to be honest with yourself.

Interest in detoxification wellnessholidays are predicted to spike.Forget holidays focussed on

creating an all-you- can-eat, all-you-can-drink, all-inclusive resort vibe. Fora few years now the concept of a“detox” holiday has been gainingtraction and this will really take off inthe coming months. According to theUS-based Global Wellness Institute,global wellness tourism grew at abouttwice the pace of regular travelexperiences between 2013-2015.

Atmantan is an internationalintegrated luxury wellness destinationnestled in the lap of the SahyadriMountains, spread over 42 acres oflush valley and overlooks the bluewaters of the Mulshi Lake. The resortis uniquely founded on crystallinemountains that are known for theirhealing frequencies… Atmantan isbuilt on the land of Prana.

When partaking in health holidays,everyone has different wellnessneeds… Atmantan hence offers its

guests eight, evidence-based, result-oriented, and customized wellnesspackages to choose from.

Atmantan’s Cuisine philosophyfocuses on whole, unrefined andunprocessed foods. Guests are servedsumptuous and nutritious dishes inInternational Spa Cuisine, Detox andAyurvedic menus. With freshestingredients from our own organicfarm, the cuisine is customised tocomplement the dietary requirementsof individual guests. Guests learn tomake healthy eating choices theytaste and relish food in moderationand not deprivation.

For individuals seeking to combatthe negative and accumulative effectsof stress, poor lifestyle andexhaustion, there is the Spa Life andJourney through Yoga packages.Others looking for penetrative healingcan choose from the therapeuticpackages of Holistic Health, WeightBalance, Master Cleanse andAyurveda Panchakarma. When

why you should totally take10A Detox ParadiseFor your total well-being. By Special Correspondent

Reasons

looking for sustained bodyconditioning, the stimulating FitnessChallenge is the ideal package to raiseone’s physical endurance and lastly,for first timers commencing theirwellness journey, there is theAtmantan Living package!

All the wellness packages atAtmantan are synergistic and havebeen planned to target specific healthneeds and goals. They are also highlypersonalized and can be tailored tothe guest’s exact wellnessrequirements.

Amongst these, the most popularpackage is the Master Cleanse, whichis a thorough detox holiday, whicheven actresses Karishma Kapoor,Malaika Arora, Nimrat Kaur and ChefSanjeev Kapoor have all recentlyindulged in at Atmantan.Chef Sanjeev Kapoor takes a detox diet.

Imbibe the healing frequencies of thecrystilline mountains.

View of the spa and massagecentre which is nearest of theresort over looking the lake.

Karisma Kapoor enjoying a detox vacay.

Spa-cation inthe lap ofluxury.

78 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

Why should you look at detoxingthis suumer?

Let us tell you why… the AtmantanMaster Cleanse is a synergisticformula of resetting the organs andsystems of the body through cellularcleansing and toxin elimination. Itmeticulously assists your body as itrids itself of its emotional andhormonal imbalances, therebyboosting your energy and promotinglongevity.

Atmantan has it abode in the landof Prana! Built on unique crystallinemountains that are known for theirdivine healing frequencies, Atmantanis located amidst the lush valley ofSahyadri Mountains and overlooks themagnificent Mulshi Lake. As you liveand breathe here in this land of Prana

{life-giving force}, you are energisedand cleansed inside out.

The Taoist Chi Nei Tsangtreatment, offered at Atmantan hasbecome the benchmark fordetoxification worldwide and is anabdominal massage that incorporatesthe principles of ancient Chinese andTaoist medicine. This specialized ritualdoesn’t just cleanse your emotionalknots and unclutters the mind, butalso induces improved sleep, boostsimmunity and allows your body toself-heal.

Open-Colon Hydrotherapy, is aunique manual therapy that helpsflush the large intestine of its built-upplaque. This also eliminates toxins and

THE EXTENSIVE HOLISTICHEALING MENU HEREINCLUDESACUPUNCTURE,MOXIBUSTION, CUPPING,AJNA LIGHT MEDITATIONTHERAPY AND PRANICHEALING. THESETHERAPIES ARE EACHPOWERFUL IN THEIROWN RIGHT AND MOSTEFFECTIVELY FACILITATETHE DETOXIFICATION OFTHE MIND, BODY ANDSOUL.

Malaika Aroracleansing heraura in the saltwater pool.

Where life imagined becomes reality.

Make detox your lifestyle.

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other stubborn waste products thatget accumulated in our body overtime through our sedentary lifestylesand improper dietary habits. The‘Angel of Water Open Colonics Systemat Atmantan, assists you as you get ridof your toxins in a most convenientand comfortable manner.

The specialized Cleanse menu atAtmantan provides you with foodoptions that enable the body’scleansing in stages, with a gradualtransition from solid foods to aneventual liquid diet. This medicallysupported tapering diet ensures that

the body does not go into shock andyou hence partake in a mostsustainable detox regimen. The entiredetox cleanse programme heresupports the body through its variousphases of liver cleanse in a safe andeffective manner. This cleansing dietwhile resetting the body’s digestion,also boosts and energizes you, alongwith the crucial removal ofaccumulated toxins.

The Hot Stone Massage offeredhere is a speciality massage where thetherapist uses smooth, heated stonesas an extension of their own hands,and places them on the body. Thegrounding and healing properties ofthese heated volcanic stones, soothesthe aches, pains and the body’sfatigue. This therapy also helps relieve

the deep muscular tension in the bodyand is deeply relaxing.

Indulge here in cleansinghydrotherapy rituals such asBalneotherapy, Hammam, VichyShower, and a dip in our exclusiveindoor temperature-controlled Saltpool which while being chemical-freemost favourably also cleanses youraura and rejuvenates the body’smuscles.

The extensive holistic healingmenu here includes Acupuncture,Moxibustion, cupping, Ajna light

meditation therapy and PranicHealing. These therapies are eachpowerful in their own right and mosteffectively facilitate the detoxificationof the mind, body and soul. After all atrue Detox is not just physical butshould incorporate a spiritual andemotional cleansing too.

The Atmantan Spa menu offersseveral other cleansing therapies likeHolistic Anti-Ageing Facials, BodyWraps, Body Scrubs, and Ubtans, allof which help the body detox andrejuvenate like never before. Indulgein these special therapies which aredone using only a pure, chemical-freespa range here. These organictreatments hence calms the senses,assists in cell growth, and evenenhances skin health along the much

required toxic elimination, both insideout.

The customized in-room mattressused at Atmantan is a patented oneand the only one in the world certifiedby the American ChiropracticAssociation. This uniquely designedmattress provides customized zonesupport to the entire spine ensuringthat guests at Atmantan have a soundand restful sleep. After all our bodiesbest recover through the night,therein stimulating good health andhere even this crucial aspect has beengiven top importance.

Experience a thorough DigitalDetox here. They encourage you toleave your phones, laptops and allother electronic devices in your room.A blessing in disguise surely as gueststhen manage to take a much-neededbreak from updating social media orchecking your e-mails every second ofyour time. One practices the true artof mindfulness as they savour thepeaceful moments and the healingtranquillity of the place.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 79

You can actually get to Atmantanin the bat of an eye, as it is a mere 4hours drive and a 20mins chopperride from Mumbai. It’s location inMulshi is within close proximity toMumbai and Pune (India) making ithighly accessible both by road and air.

How to reach:

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The main cafe with the pictorial view and delightful detox meals.

Does looking at couplescuddling each other, kissingand enjoying their life, make

you feel jealous or lonely? Are yousingle, ready to mingle, but don’tseem to find even one decent guyaround yourself? Do you fear gettingold all alone and being all by yourselfin an empty house with 27 cats? Areyou constantly looking at randomguys and hoping that perhaps anyoneout of them could seal the deal foryou? If this is your case, then you aresomeone who desperately needsLOVE.

Finding love in today’scumbersome times is indubitablytough, but never impossible. If youare single and looking for a boyfriend,husband, or just a male friend withwhom you can have qualitydiscussions on life and times, thenbelow-mentioned techniques cansurely help you find your guy! Whilecommon perception says that menare “commitment phobic;” these daysthere are a lot of career-oriented,ambitious young girls out there whoare equally commitment phobic. Andwhen it comes to a relationship with aguy, all that girls today are lookingforward to is love, sex, and quality

Ways to find it.By Vibhor Sharma

Looking for

companionship – something whichthey consider more than enough tokeep them going!

Whether your needs are physical oremotional, whether you wantsomeone in your life to be with you24x7, or just a call away; what youseek from a relationship is totally yourcall. To take that call you first need tohave a guy in your life, right? So whatare you waiting for?

Find your guy on the webThese days there are a lot of

dating and matrimonial websites withheadquarters situated in both Indiaand abroad. These sites are a greatmedium to connect with interestingmen who come from differentbackgrounds. If you are looking formarriage, then a matrimonial site willassist you in creating your profile.Once that’s done, you will be able tointeract with men settled in your owncity, in your own country, or fromanywhere in the world. The purposeof joining a marriage portal is to find aman with whom you can actually havea life together, legally.

Since the inception of marriagewebsites, it has been seen that thereare many men out there who aresolely interested in friendships, orone-night stands, and nothing else.These particular men ratherdeceitfully hide the fact that they arealready married and at times withchildren, and wish to fool innocentwomen by pretending to be single.You have to be extremely carefulwhile on a matrimonial site and lookout for such profiles which are either

incomplete, without pictures, or withinformation suggesting that the manis only interested in passing time andisn’t serious about marriage. Leavinga few rotten apples aside, amatrimonial website can prove to be aboon for you, because here you canchat with different like-minded men,and slowly but surely get closer to theone you feel most connected to.

If marriage is not on your agenda,then dating websites are a fun way tofind a guy of your type, with whomyou can hang out, go shopping, eatand drink, and just be in a relationshipwith, till expectations and lifecircumstances change and demand asteady ground. A dating website iswhere you interact with different

men, meet them at your choice oflocation, and if any of them suits yourneeds, you start dating him andeventually you become a couple. Ifyou are on the lookout for no-strings-attached sex, then dating sites are setup to cater to these needs as well.Moreover, if neither love nor sex iswhat you need, then you can mostsurely find some great guys on datingsites who can prove to be greatfriends, and only “friends”, if that iswhat you like.

Find your guy in your social circleFinding a guy in your friend’s circle

is one of the easiest ways to find love.Whether you’ve had an ugly break-upor have been single for way too long,telling your friends about your lovestatus is important. Your friends thentake the responsibility of finding a guyfor you, whom they think is mostsuitable. Following this method has itsown advantages. The guy you willmeet, courtesy your friends, will be ofa similar socio-economic status insociety, and the fact that he will beknown to your friends, means, that hestands well verified. Many a time youmay feel uncomfortable with the ideaof, say, dating your best friend’ssingle brother, despite your having aliking for him; but once you get overthis fact and stop thinking about it,you can very well get into arelationship that will provide you with

FINDING A GUY IN YOURFRIEND’S CIRCLE IS ONEOF THE EASIEST WAYS TOFIND LOVE. WHETHERYOU’VE HAD AN UGLYBREAK-UP OR HAVE BEENSINGLE FOR WAY TOOLONG, TELLING YOURFRIENDS ABOUT YOURLOVE STATUS ISIMPORTANT.

immense happiness and joy. Findinglove is what you need and taking thehelp of family and friends should notcause any amount of embarrassmentto you. Being candid about yourrequirements, on the other hand, canget you your ideal match!

Find your guy by looking aroundWhether you go to the

discotheque, gym, shopping mall, orare sitting sipping your hot cup ofcoffee at the neighbourhood cafe,finding love is never too difficult.Looking around for a man who fanciesyour interests is what you need to do.Once you find him, go over and strikeup a conversation. Don’t appearneedy or clingy, be effortless andcharming, just the way men like it.Talk about the occasion and why youboth are present at the same location;following which spontaneously takethe conversation forward.

If you’re at the club and you find aguy who’s attractive and appealing,don’t fret to approach him, because ifyou fret, someone else will surelygrab the opportunity. Meeting guys atnightclubs is an innovative way to seewho is single, who isn’t, and who isbluffing! Dancing together with acomplete stranger will help you figureout if there are any sparks flyingbetween you two. If such be the case,lucky you! Once you’ve finishedshowing your moves, sit down for adrink, and talk the night away. The

guy who is genuinely interested inyou, wants to know you better, andwishes to take things forward, won’tbother about time or place and will bewith you looking into your eyes tilldaybreak and beyond. However, theone who isn’t serious about having arelationship based either on love oreven friendship, will most probablyeither run away, or will ask you to“come over” for some “coffee”,hinting at sex and just that.

Finding love at the gym is anotherpopular way which many have triedand tested. Here, all you need to do isvisit regularly. Once you find someonethat you feel is good-looking, nicewith others, and overall comes acrossas a person who wouldn’t be bad totalk to, strike up a conversation andsee where it leads. Don’t appeardesperate, even if you are. Study theguy you are talking to by looking at his

chain of thoughts and body language.If he’s interested, he’ll want to workout with you or would want to sitdown and talk while cooling downafter a rigorous gym session. If heisn’t into you, he’ll make an excuse toleave, or will talk, but with an air ofconceit or disinterest.

Many girls these days are alsounable to stop gushing about howthey got hold of their new boyfriend,while shopping at the mall. The trick issimple, really! If you are single, bored,and feel window-shopping or evenactual shopping may make thingseasier for your heart, don’t getbogged down just yet. There’s plentyof fish in the pond! Try walking intounisex clothing stores. Once there,look around for a guy, whom you feel,best draws your interest. Walk overwith a dress or two in hand andpolitely ask him which dress looksgood on you according to him. Alsodon’t forget to act fun, flirtatious, andfeminine, female with just about adash of graceful poise! If the guy findsyou attractive, he’ll make sure youpick the dress you look best in. Oncethat’s done, you can most certainlyask, if he would want some fashionadvice himself! Here too, if the guy isinterested, he will definitely seek youradvice; even though he may alreadyhave made up his mind on somethingelse. This way, by his purchasing whatyou liked for him, and your purchasingwhat he liked for you, both of you willhave already developed a small yetsignificant friendship, or at least alittle camaraderie. Moreover, whileleaving the store, there is absolutelyno harm in exchanging phonenumbers or asking for names to addas friends on Facebook. You can evensit down for a drink at the corner cafeto talk about your interests,background, or even discusssomething as simple as why you shopat the mall where you both met!Taking things forward from there istotally your call.

82 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

MANY GIRLS THESEDAYS ARE ALSOUNABLE TO STOPGUSHING ABOUT HOWTHEY GOT HOLD OFTHEIR NEW BOYFRIEND,WHILE SHOPPING ATTHE MALL. THE TRICK ISSIMPLE, REALLY!

We

The care of human life andhappiness, and not their

destruction, is the first and onlyobject of good government.

You don't develop courage bybeing happy in yourrelationships every day. You

develop it by surviving difficult timesand challenging adversity,” byBarbara De Angelis is a line whichconsists of much more truth in it thanany love guru out there. Norelationship can be all roses as thereare thorns too. When we talk aboutlove, we don’t even realise what themeaning of love is. Nowadays “liking”has the same value as love and so itwon’t be wrong to say that people are

actually pretty confused. Keepingaside those people who mistake tinyattraction for affection, we will talkabout genuine relationship problems.For all those who actually gave somethought before starting arelationship, this may help youthrough your journey. Knowing thestages will actually help you inunderstanding your relationship. Thestages of a relationship include;romance, power struggle, stability,commitment and bliss. Let us startwith understanding them one by one.

RomanceThe first best and the most

exciting stage for lovers is theromantic stage. The feeling of flyingand falling and our heart doingsummersaults is a part of this stage.Our brain releases hormones such asoxytocin, dopamine and phenylethylamine which makes ouremotions go crazy for someone. Manypeople are so much in love at thisstage (they are in love with the idea ofbeing in love) that they don’t want tomove forward towards a stablerelationship where the partnersmature. Rather, they want to avoidconflicts that cause them pain andonly experience love. But there is aproblem at this stage.

Have you ever wondered why wefall in love with people who are like usbut also worlds apart from us? Whydoes this happen? Why do we fall inlove with someone who is notcompletely like us? The reason is thatwe humans as a specie have a thirst togrow. We don’t want to get stuckwith something stagnant or boring.We don’t want to learn somethingthat we already know and this appliesto our partners as well. We choose

YourAt what stage is it?

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partners while keeping the thrill inmind. When we do find a partner whomakes us do crazy with thrill, we fall inlove, enter the romantic stage, ourbody releases the hormones andbefore we know it we are in arelationship with someone who hasdifferent beliefs and practices.

Power struggleThis is the ugliest stage in a

relationship. It happens right after wewake up from the romantic stage.After some time, our brain stopsreleasing the hormones which till nowhad been making us feel all mushy-mushy and suddenly, we are not sosure anymore. We realise that wehave been adjusting with our partner,changing ourselves according to ourpartner’s wants and we want our oldself and our freedom back. Wesuddenly feel trapped and suffocatedand this is the time where the ideas ofbreaking up starts emerging. Youstart having ugly fights with yourpartner in order to justify your points.As the name of this stage suggests,the power struggle is a struggle toregain lost freedom and self. This isthe stage where you make the gravemistake of wanting to change yourpartner and you get thoughts like:✿ If I am trying to change him or her,

then we are not meant to betogether. (We get a guilt feelingfor wanting to change them butwe still need to do it.)

✿ If I and my partner cannot evenunderstand each other, then thisrelationship has a weak base andwe are not meant to be together.

✿ My partner is the one who is goingwrong and correcting him or her isfor his or her own good.

✿ Soulmates don’t fight.There are tons of thoughts going

through our mind. The commonoutcome is either to break up or settlefor less. Break-up is self-explanatory.Settling down means that either bothor one of the partners decides toadjust and sacrifice their own wants.This actually finishes the romance inthe relationship and even if you dragyour relationship without a break-up,you still end up hurting yourself andthat too forever.

StabilityNot many couples reach this stage

but those who do, win the battle. Theonly way to work your way throughthe power struggle stage to this stageis to hold on and work thing out. Youneed to fight and comunicate and thatis all you can do. You need to realisethat changing your partner won’twork out but what will work ischanging yourself. Both of you needto realise that the reason you are withsomeone different than you wasbecause of your latent want to learnsomething new. You wanted to growand so you chose your partner. The

moment you look at your relationshipthrough this angle, things change.You will not fight anymore but startdiscussing things. Together you wouldfind solutions to your problems andmuch more. In short, this is the stagewhere you become best friends.Romance returns in this stage but in amuch more mature way.

CommitmentAfter being stable you are finally

ready for commitment. Wait what?Weren’t you already committed?Many couples pledge commitmentsand promise when they are at theirromantic stage and so the powerstruggle gets even uglier as you alsohave the stress of commitment onyour head. The best stage to committo a serious relationship is when you

are completely stable. You are nowbest friends and nothing would breakyou apart. This is when youunderstand the true responsibilities ofbeing committed and this is wherecommitment becomes successful.

BlissFinally you are a ‘two body one

soul’ kind of a combo and you get tospread love. Have you ever met anycouple who is so in sync with eachother that whatever they do is asuccess and when you talk to themyou start to feel love and everythinggood? These are the couples in their

bliss stage. They are making adifference just by being together andthey look beautiful together that theirlove is actually spread out touchingeveryone else.

Let us just hope and work hard toget to the bliss stage. Even if we don’tand get stuck up in the second stage,know that it is just a process and thesecond stage is the hardest. So it isokay even if things break down.Always be hopeful and happy andwork better on your communicationskills so that when you do hit the endof the road, you can figure out how tomake your way back. We

86 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

If we have authentic, honest, earthymaterials in our houses, we'll be

more authentic, honest and natural.

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Iwent to one of the bestexhibitions of this year "LivingLightly" in January 2017. The

organisers showed the music, food,jewellery, clothes, art and living of 15pastoral communities in India: thesheep nomads from Kashmir andAndhra Pradesh, the camel herders ofGujarat and Rajasthan among them. Inthat one hour I learnt a great dealabout the communities of people andanimals that inhabit India. Did youknow that there are black sheep inIndia and nine breeds of camel? TheBanni buffalo, the Kankrej cow, theKacchi goat and the Sindhi horse aresimply unique. The government hasdone absolutely nothing to conservethese animals – in fact, each one ofthem is simply seen as meat. It is

generations of these pastoralcommunities that have kept ourheritage animals alive.

Let me tell you about the Kharaicamel. It is almost extinct, as are mostcamels in India - because the camelcommunities are now stopping theirgypsy way of life and settling down toother professions. They sell thesecamels to a gang of butchers from theUttar Pradesh district of Baghpat –each of whom has over 90 cases onhim and is a multimillionaire fromkilling. This gang comes from onevillage. They pose as agriculturists andgo to camel haats like Pushkar wherethey flash fake cards, pay the localSDM or the haat magistrate and takeaway the camels. These are loadedinto trucks, 16 at a time, and thentaken to Bangladesh via Kishenganj inBihar and Malda in West Bengal. Ihave rescued over 2000 so far, butthat is out of 50,000 that are goingevery year.

Anyway, let me come back to theKharai camels. They are reared by theFakirani Jat and Rabari communities.While the Rabaris are still in Kachch,the Fakirani Jats are now on the moveand have come to Ahmedabad,Bharuch and Bhavanagar in search ofthe ever-receding mangroves.

Camels are supposed to be theanimals of the desert, their broad flatpadded feet at home on the hot sand,their ability to do without water,legendary. But this unique breed fromthe arid lands of Kachchh is equally athome in the desert or ocean.

Native to the coastal areas ofSouth Gujarat, close to the mangrovebelts, these camels eat salinemangrove plants and swim longdistances in the ocean. In themonsoon they travel more than 3kilometers through the waters toreach the small mangrove islands(called bets) in the creeks along thecoast. They stay here for 2-3 months,

TheKharaiCamels

A rare, dwindlingbreed.

By Maneka Sanjay Gandhi

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drinking fresh water from thedepressions in the land made by therain. In summer and winter they swimout to nearer bets to graze, andreturn every few days to drink freshwater from ponds, wells or cattletroughs. An adult needs about 20-40litres a day.

The hair is smooth, long and soft,which the herders make into rugs andshawls (I saw some at the exhibition -really beautiful). They have a veryshort chest pad, thin legs, a thin neck,an elegant rounded backside and ashort tail. It is either brown white incolour or black.

ARTHRITIS AFFLICTEDWhile the Kharai is less affected by

skin disease than the entirelyterrestrial breeds, these camels oftensuffer from arthritis, gastrointestinalproblems and trypanosomiasis causedby small protozoan parasites.Government provides no veterinaryhelp, or any kind of preventive carelike vaccinations, to the herders.Despite a wealth of traditionalknowledge (I also brought a thickbook from the exhibition, calledPlants Used in Animal Care, compiledby Dr Nitya S. Ghotge and Dr Sagari R.

Ramdas) the Kharai camel breedersnow need professional veterinaryhelp.

The pastoralists need help tocontinue rearing animals. The firststep has been taken by the NGOSahjeevan who has brought themtogether to make a Camel BreedersAssociation. Since their use as cartpullers and ploughers is almost over,maybe we should look at camel milkto better their lives.

The Kharai breeders are familiesthat have done this for generations.They live very simply along the coast,in houses called pakkhas made ofgrasses that need to be rebuiltannually. Most of them are illiterateand their main food is bajra and camelmilk. They use their camel woolthemselves, since there is no one tohelp them design and market theirproducts.

A few of them grow bajra, guarphalli and millets on drylands, duringthe monsoon. Most of them areindebted to moneylenders and pay offtheir loans by selling young camels.Gujarat is in the process ofindustrialising its coast and theseunnecessary industries, which havecome up on land given to them atthrowaway prices, often block the

grazing routes. The Gujarat forestdepartment is equally stupid in itsattitude: chemical industries canthrow their acids into the mangroves,but camels are not allowed to grazethere in case they eat all themangroves. But they are no threat astheir numbers are so low. So theherders have to feed their camelsstealthily, often bribing forestrangers. All this has taken a toll and sothe younger generation is leaving formore stable work. Some have shiftedto buffalo grazing.

PRESERVE THEMANGROVE

If we are going to preserve theKharai breed, we will have to preservethe mangrove habitat. Not go formisplaced ‘development’ plans likebuilding ports every few thousandyards simply to benefit theconstruction lobby. We don’t needthe ports. We certainly need thecamels.

We need to do a few things for thecommunity: give health services forthe camels. Establish a market forcamel milk and camel wool. Let thecamels go into the mangrove grazinggrounds easily. Establish aconservation programme for theKharai camel in partnership with thecommunities. You can help by buyinga camel wool shawl this winter, or byoffering to market their products,many of which are truly beautiful –the mojri shoes made of naturally diedcamels, their embroideries andweaves like ajrakh.

It was only in 2015 that the camelwas recognised as a special breed byICAR. Each camel has been counted by Sahjeevan, and there areonly 3,665 Kharai camels left and 79breeders. Quickly learn about them sothat you don’t miss this miraculousanimal. To get in touch withSahjeevan contact : 02832-251814sahjeevan@gmail.com

90 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

NATIVE TO THE COASTALAREAS OF SOUTHGUJARAT, CLOSE TO THEMANGROVE BELTS, THESECAMELS EAT SALINEMANGROVE PLANTS ANDSWIM LONG DISTANCESIN THE OCEAN.

We

If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to theworld but does not feel good inyour heart, it is not success at all.

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Iwatched a cousin munch away blanchedassortment of vegetables, broccoli zucchiniand others. It wasn’t to her taste, yet she

believed it was good for her health and sureenough it is. Broccoli is one of the most nutritiousvegetables, but as Indians we don’t have tosource this particularly, because it is not easilyavailable. When available do buy it. It is amazingthat the ingredients used in Indian food, areimmune boosting components too. If Indians arerobust despite the contaminated conditions welive in, polluted air and no potable water, only theones we purchase, it is no wonder that we arestill healthy.

It is often quipped that Indians are inoculatedby the germs they inhale and the unhygienic foodthey consume! But have you ever considered thefact that Indians consume immune boostingingredients in their food and perhaps that is whythey are less prone to infections? I am going withsix simple Indian common dishes, to impressupon readers that these simple ordinary dishescan keep the family healthy! I am giving you therecipe of one, but you can add your ownvariations and enjoy it even more. But rememberjust these simple dishes will boost the family’simmunity.

THE INDIAN CHICKENSOUP

Forget the consommé and the varieties if soups bymany nationalities. The Indian chicken soup is a clearwinner to boost immunity. Made from the chicken wingsand the neck, throw in a half kilo of those and you have awinner!

INGREDIENTS:500 grams if chicken wings1000 ml water200 grams of carrots, chopped10 grams chilies, red dried1 tbsp coriander seeds crushed 1 tsp of pepper corns30 grams ginger crushed1/2 tsp turmericSalt to taste

By Kalpana M Naghnoor

Indian

anFood ImmuneBooster

METHODTake a deep bottom dish pan, and

add all the ingredients. Bring it to aboil and strain and serve. It is a powerhouse of immune boosting drink.Make it once every week and serve itfor dinner before the meal. From thechicken it will have vitamin A, vitaminB-6, vitamin B, iron, magnesium andcalcium. All of these vitamins andmineral are immune boosters. Fromginger you will get loads of vitamin C,vitamin B-6, and magnesium. Turmericadds a good load of iron to this dish.Carrots further pump this dish withmore vitamin A. coriander seed withpump in more vitamin A and C. Pepperwill pump in calcium, magnesium andiron. Red chilies contain vitamin A inplenty, vitamin B-6, and pump youwith vitamin C. So this one dish ishealthy! In one serving you will get atotal of 91 per cent of vitamin A,vitamin C 4 per cent, calcium 3 percent and iron 8 per cent of the dailyrequirement. This soup gets A- in thefood grade. This is because it is a littlein cholesterol and has 19 per cent ofthe daily requirement, so you canbalance that out with a vegetarianmeal to follow. Now, for thevegetarians use three packets ofmushroom to make this soup, it is justas nutritious with low cholesterol.With mushrooms in it and it getsgrade A in the food chart.

Indian saladIndians make salads with yoghurt

base, which again is immune booster.The recipe is simple, blend theyoghurt well with a wire whisk. Addblack salt and pomegranate andserve. You can add any othervegetable to it like cucumber, whichyou can grate, salt and allow it toweep.

Then squeeze out the water andadd it to the yoghurt. Carrots too canbe added, but here I am trying to keepit most simple, so these dishes can bemade easily and served often to boostthe family’s immunity. It gets a gradeA in the food chart.

With this salad you will get 23 percent of calcium, 1 per cent of vitaminA, iron 2 per cent and vitamin C 14 percent.

Kadak chaiIndians drink tea with ginger. Tea

as well as ginger is immune boosters.So on a day you feel you are comingdown, hit the chai! Tea is made as perthe individual choice but look at thebenefits of the Indian Chai; it is high inmagnesium and B-6. It not just thefact that Indians drink chai, what istrue about the foods Indians consumeon a daily basis is, it is packed withgoodness, only we need to moderatethe usage of oil and sugar.

Sweet potato Sweet Potato is used a lot in

Kerala. All you have to do is boil it andeat it as you would, boiled potatoes.But sweet potato is so flavoursome,

just add a sprinkle of nutmeg, gratedcoconut and a sprinkle of caster sugarand you will see what a wonderfulsnack rich in vitamins you have. Thesweet potato is a power house ofvitamins and is on top of the foodchart in nutrition.

GreensGreens are endemic to Indian food.

From the all over the country Indianhave their own variety of greens andare famed for those dishes, palakpaneer, has vitamin A 10 per cent,vitamin C 25 per cent calcium 40 percent, Iron 15 per cent. Sarson Ka Saag,gives you 25 per cent of your dailyneeds, of A and C vitamins and alsohas Calcium 6 per cent and Iron 6 percent, the only caution please cookwith less oil or ghee. There is always

garlic in the greens, which again is animmune booster being high in vitaminC and calcium and also contains agood amount of Iron.

What I am saying is Indian food isan immune booster. A bit of ourtraditional Indian food one meal in aday, will see us through a goodimmune system. It is not exotic Indianfood that contains the magicalportions, but our normal day to dayfood is the one with the magic.Immune boosters are, ginger, garlic,so add them liberally to you dishes,and Indians love that. Last but not theleast, rasam keep that handy at alltimes, it can be made and stored fortwo days in the refrigerator especiallywhen you have the sniffles.

Indian native fruits: thewatermelon and papaya

But let’s not forget the fruits,which are available in huge quantitiesand can be easily cut and made juicefrom, the watermelon and thepapaya. They both are rich in vitaminA and you will get 18 per cent of thedaily value, and from papaya 28 percent. Vitamin C 21 per cent fromwatermelon and papaya 147 per cent,and they both contain calcium as wellas iron. The watermelon and papayaare available throughout the yearthese days, and they are reasonablypriced and easy to get the kids to eatthem and make juice for them to drinkit.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 93

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In order to carry a positive action wemust develop here a positive vision.

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After all these years, itis still vivid in mymind.

A field, a vast field,covering acres and acres ofland. There is darkness allaround. Then, suddenly outof nowhere, a girl appears.She is screaming and runningfrom something that I don’tsee. Her face wears awheatish complexion andlines that somehow don’tblend on a face so young. Her

dishevelled hair is long andblack…so black that itcompletely contrasts withthe whiteness of the sari sheis wearing. She runs wildlytowards a glow of light thatseems to grow brighter withevery hurried step she takes.The source of light isrevealed to be thousands ofmassive flames dancing andrising into the sky, makingday out of a moonless night.The girl gives one distressed

look behind and jumps intothe sea of fire, to be drownedby the deadly waves of flames.

Driving through the dustyroad, I make a final

swerve towards that place,the place that reigned overmy sub-conscious mind foryears, the place where mydear friend once led a happylife, the place she is nowprayed to, as one would to agoddess…

Was it foreboding? By Zarine Ahmed

The DreamShortStory

Ratna’shappiness,however, wasshort l i ved. Justafter sevenmonths ofmarr iage herhusband met witha fata l caracc ident. Ratnawho couldn’t bearto be parted f romher husbandbecame a sat i .Her ascendanceto the funera lpyre had becomea controvers ia li ssue.

Afterall these

years, it is stillvivid in my mind.

A field, a vastfield.

“Girls, this is RatnadeviShekhawat from ourcolourful state of Rajasthan,”said the teacher introducingus to a tiny girl in a brightyellow ghagra choli. Shecame up to me confidentlyand asked if she could sitbeside me. Ratna was aboarder so we becamefriends. She spoke a lotabout her cousins and friendsback home.

“Sahelion ki Baag hasstatues of elephants anddeer and you won’t believehow beautifully the fountainscome out dancing from theirtrunks and antlers,” she oncetold me. Her colourful talesused to make me happy andI longed to hear more. But,however exciting andcolourful those days were,equally distressing andcolourless were the nights.

“Yesterday, you werescreaming again. Tell mewhat is it that you see thatmakes you frightened everynight?” asked Sheila myroommate with concern.I felt I needed to tell it tosomeone. “I get thisrecurring dream of thiswoman in a white sari…” Ireplied buying stress on theword ‘recurring’ since it was anew word we learnt inEnglish class.

As time rolled by, mydream came back no

more. But time had broughtother changes. In all theseyears, I had noticed thatRatna’s physical being wasslowly developing into aform very much like that ofthe woman I used to see inthe nightmare a few yearsback.

It was the reopening dayof our school after a longwinter break. Ratna came upto me excitedly. Sheinformed me that she wouldbe married very soon to a 21-

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 97

year-old son of a richlandlord. She was holding alittle girl. “Oh, by the way,this is Mira,” said Ratnaintroducing me to the littlegirl. She told me that shecame from the same villagewhere she would getmarried. Ratna didn’t seemto mind the fact that she hadto discontinue her studies forher marriage. Probably, shewas too happy to think aboutall that.

Ratna’s happiness,however, was short

lived. Just after sevenmonths of marriage herhusband met with a fatal caraccident. Ratna who couldn’tbear to be parted from herhusband became a sati. Herascendance at the funeralpyre had become acontroversial issue.

“Can an educated girl ofthe 20th century opt for acustom like johar?” askedone of the newspapersrhetorically. But I had otherthings to worry about. Iremembered the terribledream. ‘So it was aforetelling of Ratna’s sati,’was my conclusion. So whatif the two women don’t lookexactly the same. Dreamsare said to be symbolic andthat woman’s fair skin musthave been symbolic toRatna’s fear, I reasoned out.

Although Ratna was nomore, Mira and I were still incontact. Our closeness was infact heightened by the tragicincident. Mira learning that Iwas in Jaipur, invited me toher village which was just afew kilometres away. Sheinformed me that Ratna’spalatial haveli has now beentransformed into a hotel andI decided to stay there. Aftera bumpy drive I waspresented with the beautifulview of Phool Vilas, whichwas the name of the hotel.

Phool Vilas was amidst acresand acres of what appearedto be fallow land, but thepresence of several hundredhaystacks heaped at the farend of the farm provedotherwise.

By the time I checked in, Iwas too exhausted to payMira a visit. So I decided togo the next day. Later in theevening, while I feasted myeyes on the treasures of theold haveli, I saw somethingmoving round the cornerwhere the Singhs’, Ratna’shusband’s family’s, privateresidence stood. I was toldthat the family had gone toJodhpur to attend awedding.

Just out of curiosity, Iwent to see what it could be.As I drew nearer, I saw awoman in a white sari. Shewas drawing water from awell with the help of a faintlight coming from thewindow just above. Sheplaced the pot of watergently on her waist andturned her face towards me. Ifelt a trickle of sweat runningdown my spine! It was thevery same face of the womanin ‘the dream’. Those eyes,long black hair, fair skin – shelooked blankly at me for

some time, then with the potfull of water, headed forwhat looked like infinitedarkness. I rushed to myroom carrying thousands ofthoughts that raced throughmy mind. Who was she? Wasit Ratna’s spirit or just a livingand breathing human being?If the latter was the case,then wasn’t that terriblenightmare a forewarning ofRatna’s sati? Does this meanthere is going to be anotherdeath? Its the ugly faceclaiming this woman now?’ Ishuddered at the thoughts.

Next morning when I metMira I came to this pointimmediately. “Oh no no,”said Mira laughing. “Yes, thefamily has gone to Jodhpurbut they left their old fatherand Mohini behind. Thewoman you saw was noghost, it was Mohini, Ratna’scousin, a young widow andher lookalike. Poor lady, shelost her husband two yearsback. After that her life hasbeen a living hell, especiallyafter the frequent visits ofsome woman activists. Theywant to do good to Mohini,but they are doing quite theopposite.”

She paused and I listenedintently. “You know

every culture has its ownbelief system. And if youtrust the culture you belongto, with all its beliefs, thenlife seems simple. You have areason for everything, even ifit means it is just asuperstitious belief. Thatway you learn to be satisfiedwith whatever situation youare in. But when one culturewith its own beliefs collideswith another, complicationscrop up.” She went on.

“What do you mean?” Iasked her.

Almost a year back, somewoman activists came tomeet Mohini, after which

She paused and Il i s tened intent ly .“You know everyculture has i ts ownbel ie f system. And i fyou trust theculture you belongto, with a l l i t sbe l ie fs , then l i feseems s imple. Youhave a reason foreveryth ing, even i fi t means i t i s just asuperst i t ious be l ie f .

they made frequent visits toher place. Her in-laws do notlike their presence becausethey think that these womenspeak against them and theyare right. These women aremodern, so their thinking isvery different from that of aconservative Indian family.

It seems that Mohini wantsto get married again and I

believe it is because of theseladies’ influence on her. Imean, how can she think ofsomething like this when sheknows that she is an Indianwoman who can marry onlyonce?”

She paused again but Ilistened to her withoutdisturbing and waited for herto go on. “Just a few daysback these social activistsvoiced her desire to her in-

laws much to Mohini’s horrorbecause she knew whatwould be the outcome. Shehas now become the talk ofthe village. She doesn’t evenmove out during the day –who would want to be theobject of scorn and ridiculeamong the villagers?” Thenshe said wonderingly “I don’t

know what will become ofthe poor girl!”

After her disturbingaccount was over, I saidsoftly, “She doesn’t seem tohave a future.” She noddedher head in agreement,though oblivious of whatI really meant.

That night my mind wasagain invaded by terrible

thoughts, ‘Does this meanMohini’s death is just roundthe corner? Will my dreamreally come true?’ Sleepsomehow managed to creepthrough the crowdedthoughts just when I waswoken up by terrible shrieksoutside my room.

I looked out of thewindow. It was nearly dawnbut when I glanced at thewatch I realised that it was

just past midnight! With myheart in my mouth, I rushedoutside to see what wasgoing on. My jaw dropped atthe revelation. Severalhundred stacks of hay thatwere stored at the far end ofthe field were in a massivefire creating thousands ofhungry flames, each trying tolap up the cool, soothingmoonless sky. Mohini hadcommitted suicide. I slowlyretreated to my room leavingthe panic-stricken peopleand their bellowing noisebehind. They were running inthe opposite directiontowards the deadly scene inorder to make sense of whatwas happening. I didn’t haveto do that. I already knew.Mohini was living my dreamwhile the world wassleeping…

98 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

After herd isturb ing accountwas over, I sa idsoft ly , “Shedoesn’t seem tohave a future.”She nodded herhead inagreement, thoughobl iv ious of whatI rea l ly meant.

We

Please tell me what sort of nappies I should use for my child.The disposable ones are too expensive and I do not know ifcloth ones are good enough. Also please tell me how oftenshould I change the diaper and what is the right way of doingit.

You could use cloth nappies, disposable ones or a judiciousmixture of both – the latter while going out and cloth ones athome. You would probably need 10diapers a day. Before changing thediapers make sure that everythingyou need is at hand so that you do notleave the baby unattended. Aftereach bowel movement or if the diaperis wet, lay your baby on its back andremove the dirty diaper. Use thewater, cotton balls, and washcloth orwipes, gently wipe your baby's bottom and genital area. Whenremoving a boy's diaper, do so carefully because exposure tothe air may make it urinate. When cleaning a girl child, wipeher from front to back to avoid infection. Do not powder thelocal area. Wash your hands thoroughly after changing adiaper. Make sure that your working level, be it in the kitchenor by the wash basin or nappy changing should be highenough so that your back remains erect while performingthese chores. Repetitive/constant back bending can lead tochronic backache.

I have recently given birth to a beautiful baby. I would verymuch like to know what to expect in the coming year in theway of mental development of a child.

The mental milestones of a child are as follows:

✿ 6-8 weeks – smiles, follows objects with his eyes andbegins to vocalise. Recognises you by 8 weeks.✿ 8-12 weeks - a child can hear sounds and respond tothem. He can perceive touch, smell and taste and seespatterns and contrast. At two months he begins cooing andresponds to the caregiver. All perceptions become moreacute.

✿ 16 weeks - laughs and plays with his hands and feet.✿ 4-6 months – smiles at mirror image. Babbles to expresshis needs. ✿ 7 – 9 months - his vision becomes more focused. He candistinguish patterns and visualise all colours. Hearingimproves. Likes being read to. Responds to ‘NO’.✿ 10-12 months - a child learns to connect meanings withwords. Say words with meaning at 12 months. He speaks hisfirst words and can also distinguish features. Imitatesactions, responds to questions, plays games. ✿ 18 months – the baby can toddle and play.✿ 24 months – by 2 years of age babies are just small people– unique, wonderful and so very dear.

– Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD.

Q A&ChildChallenges

I am a 25-year-old woman. I am engaged to be married andlive with my parents and three older brothers. I love all mybrothers but am most protective of my second brother who is30 and has been married two years ago.

His wife (it was an arranged match) has turned out to be adomineering, rude and extremely unpleasant woman, who isobviously disappointed in her husband. In fact, his life hasbecome hell after marriage. This is so obvious to the familythat my other brothers have started teasing him and myparents are now very worried about their son’s future.

A few days ago, I came home unexpectedly at a time whenmy brother was the only one at home. I let myself in with mykey, I heard him talking on his cellphone and what I heardchilled my very bones. I stood listening as he told someonethat his wife beat him and tortured him and that he wantedher killed. He then discussed how it could be done and howmuch he would have to pay for the murder.

I silently crept out of the house, locked the door behindme and my brother never suspected that I had overheard him.I now don’t know what to do. I only know that I have to actquickly Pease advise without delay.

Talk to your brother at once, tell him what you overheardand explain to him firmly that paying for his wife to bemurdered would be the stupidest thing that he could do. Tellhim that besides being a sin and a crime, he is also certain tobe caught, as he would be the first suspect for the police. Tellhim also to picture the effect of his being caught on yourfamily.

Once you have got this messageacross, tell him that this does notmean that he needs to stay in amarriage which is causing him suchagony that he is ready to considermurder. A divorce would get him outof it. But also tell him that he shouldensure that he his wife does not riphim apart in the divorce proceedings and extract heavyalimony from him when she is to blame for the divorce.

To ensure this he should give ill-treatment, harassmentand physical torture as his reasons for wanting a divorce andshould get himself a good lawyer. Since his wife beats andtortures him, he should go to the police after one suchepisode, show them the marks on his body and file acomplaint against her. He should also have photos of hisinjuries taken and use them as well as his police complaint inhis divorce proceedings.

From as long back as I can remember, a girl who lives nextdoor to me and I, have been best friends. We are the same age(now we are both 18) and have gone to first, the same schooland are now, in the same college. We spend most of our timetogether and tell each other everything.

When my friend fell in love with a classmate of the sameage, I was the first to know and when the boy concerned toldher that he loved her and proposed to her, I was the first toknow of this too. Now, we are together less because shespends most of her free time with this boy, but she still tellsme everything about their outings, her feelings for him, their

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 99

Q A&My family,My friends and me...

plans for the future, etc. For the first time, I have begun tohide things from my friend because the fact of the matter isthat I too have fallen in love with the same boy – and thattoo, I fell in love at first sight. Now, I suffer terribly when shetalks about him and all I can do is to take a smile and listen.

Recently another complication emerged. This is that myfriend’s boyfriend told her that a friend of his has fallen for meand is pestering him to get me to date him. And as a result, myfriend and her boyfriend are constantly pestering me to goon a joint date with them and this boy who says that he lovesme.

But I love my friend’s boyfriend. What should I do? You, your friend and your friend’s boyfriend are all just 18 –

hardly an age to take life decisions! Yes, occasionally youngpeople who are even younger, fall in love, remain constant toeach other and marry when they are old enough to do so.More often, 18-year-olds fall in love, then fall out of love, orare separated by the exigencies of life and forget each other orare worn out by the tension of being bound to one personwhen they long to explore life and they then quarrel and part.

Again, young people often feel that they can never getover the pain of unrequited love, but find to their surprise andeven shock some years later, that they have forgotten exactlyhow the person they thought that they would love all theirdays, looked!

So, do not waste too much time thinkingof your friend’s boyfriend. Instead take

advantage of the fact thatyour best friend is now otherwiseoccupied and make friends with other young people ofboth sexes in your class. Talk to them, have fun, take part incollege activities, pay attention to your studies and discusswhat you will do after you graduate and what your aims inlife will be.

In other words, use these years to grow, mature and todecide what you want to do with your life. That is what you aremeant to do during your undergrad years. You will have plentyof time later to think of love and marriage.

If they insist, you can go on group dates with your friend,her boyfriend and his friend. But make it clear to the boyattracted to you that you want to be just a friend and thatyou are not interested in entering into a relationship with him.

This column will tackle queriesrelated to family, social environment and personality development.

Please address your queries to:

WOMAN'S ERA,E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.

or log on to Womansera.com

Yesteryear actress Zeenat Aman,who is still remembered for herbold character in Dev Anand's

Hare Rama Hare Krishna, says thatPriyanka Chopra would be ideal for herbiopic if a film is ever made."I I thinkshe is very good and lovely.," saidZeenat Aman at the premiere of herdebut web series Love Life and Screw-Ups on Thursday. Zeenat Amanrevealed that she had beenapproached by a renowned filmmakerto make a biopic. ", but "Honestly Idon't know whether I am ready for it,"she said. Earlier, legendary singer AshaBhosle had also said that Priyankabeing a singer as well, would be anideal choice to portray her character ifa biopic is made on her. Speaking

Actress Kangana Ranaut,whos is promoting Manikarnika: The QueenOf Jhansi, agrees that she's a rebellious." (Rani Laxmi Bai) was arebel with a cause that makes her a hero...I rebel because if my

instincts want me to. So, that makes me a badass. She's a hero," Kanganasaid. Asked making historicals have become a trend in Bollywood, Kanganatold reporters: "Well, it's working. Look at Baahubali, it has broken all the

records and that's what people want to see but to be honest Manikarnika -The Queen Of Jhansi is not like a project ..."Kangana, who will beseen playing Rani Laxmi Bai in the film, directed by Krish, says a filmshould be made on her."She is from our country. If she was fromsome other country how would they celebrate her spirit. So we as

a nation need to give her due," she said.Asked if this film will be theclimax of her acting career, she said: "There are projects and then

there are films that are sort of fulfilling something within you.When I was 15 and left home, I didn't know when I will feel that Ihave arrived or achieved something and that feeling didn't comepost when I started working on Jhansi Ki Rani, just felt like

everything made sense you know."

Actress Taapsee Pannu is thrilledabout grooving to the tunes ofreprised version of some of the

1990s Bollywood songs in herupcoming film Judwaa 2 as sheconsiders dancing to be her first love.She is currently shooting here forJudwaa 2 with actor Varun Dhawan."Ithink it's been quite some time since Idanced in a film. Last I remember doingit for one of my south films a couple ofyears back. Dancing has been my firstlove because I have been dancing since

I was six years old and have takenprofessional training in Indian classicaland a few western forms during myschool and college days," Taapsee saidin a statement."When you have somegreat songs like the ones in Judwaa 2, itmakes it an even more wonderfulexperience. Varun is a good dancer...so, I am sure it will be lot of fun tomatch steps with him. "Varun hasstepped into superstar Salman Khan'sshoes to play a double role in theremake of the 1997 film Judwaa.

Tapsee Pannu is thrilled about grooving to the reprised versions of 90s Bollywood.

Kangana rebels if herinstincts want her to.

about her character in, Love Life andScrew Ups, Zeenat Aman said: "I amplaying a very zingy and zany character,something completely opposite towhat I am. She is loud, over the top andlikes to get involved in everything. Sheis single, so she goes on many datesand on every date she creates amess...it's a funny characterr. Love Lifeand Screw Ups also features reality TVstar Diandra Soares, Sonali Raut andothers. The series is a feel-goodromantic comedy about relationshipsand is directed by Kapil Sharma.

Actor Ayushmann Khurrana, whowill be seen playing a Bengalinovelist named Abhimanyu Roy

in the forthcoming film Meri PyaariBindu, says it was fun learning thelanguage. Being a true blue Punjabi,

how difficult was it for him to learnBangla?Ayushmann told media: "I don'twant to call myself a hardcore Punjabi.For Bangla, I had two teachers. In thefilm, I am speaking in Bangla with myparents. But with Parineeti (Chopra), Iam speaking mostly Hindi because sheis not playing a Bengali in the film. Thenuances in the film are strikinglyBengali. It was fun learning thislanguage." Meri Pyaari Bindu, which isdirected by Akshay Roy, featuresParineeti as an aspiring singer. Asked ifhe would like to play a singer onscreen, Ayushmann said: "Definitely!Because you get to sing your ownsongs. In this particular film, I'm, ofcourse, not singing because I play anon-singer in the film. Parineeti isplaying the singer. If she wasn't playingthe singer, then I would have sung." A

ctress Bipasha Basu, who hascompleted one year of maritalbliss with Karan Singh Grover,

says that the actor has everything thatshe wanted in her partner and he is likea twin soul."Life has definitely changedfor good post marriage as I have got anamazing partner. I couldn't have askedfor better person than him, its like twinsoul as we are very, very similar. Ialways have been person who is alwaysguided by happiness. My mainobjective in life is to achieve happinesswherever I go. So, thankfully I have itwith my marriage," the actress toldmedia. The couple worked together inhorror movie Alone before they tiedthe knot and Bipasha says that they areopen to work together in future too."We intend to work together as it’salways fun. We are like best friends andits fabulous to work together . We havebeen offered couple of films butnothing has worked well," saidBipasha.

– Anil Merani.

Actor Tiger Shroff has reacted to filmmaker Ram Gopal Varma's"potshot" at him saying that criticising him for his style of dance is likepointing fingers at the talent of a legend like the late Michael

Jackson.Varma had earlier this month tweeted and hit out at Tiger, tagging hisstyle effeminate. Sometimes, he has also been told he dances like agirl.Commenting on that, Tiger, an ardent MJ fan, said in an interview GQ IndiaMay 2017 issue: "The concept of femininity and masculinity is stereotyped. Tocriticise the way I dance is to criticise the likes of Michael Jackson, JamesBrown and Hrithik Roshan. (But) some people like to take potshots at me."Theyoung actor, who has flexible moves, has also paid a tribute to Jackson with apiece in his upcoming film Munna Michael.

Pakistani VJ Madiha Imam has been cast in an upcoming Bollywood filmDear Maya, which will star Manisha Koirala. "My character Anna is a 16-year-old girl who lives in Shimla," said Madiha, reports dawn.com. "She's

a sweet, innocent girl who has a best friend named Ira. Anna's story is abouther curiosity about this woman who lives in her neighbourhood and hasn't lefther house in 20 years." She says she wouldn't call it a romance or comedy. "Iguess you can call it a drama film, but it has a little bit ofeverything in it." According to Madiha, director SunainaBhatnagar was looking for someone to do my part.She found me online hosting one of my musicshows. After watching a few episodes she lookedme up and found out I act as well and decided toapproach me."It was very sudden for the actorbut she couldn't say no. The story was reallygood and I wanted to be part of it.""Theexperience of shooting the film has beenincredible. It was a low-budget film. I was workingwith Manisha Koirala and she is amazing at whatshe does. Right now the VJ is in Pakistan promotingthe film. " I will not be able to go to India forpromotion , of course. I am really happy about havingdone this movie and excited for it to come out."

Bipasha Basu and Karan Singh Grover areenjoying marital bliss.

Tiger Shroff hasreacted to RGV’spotshot at him.

Pak VJ Madiha Imam has been cast in Bollywoodfilm Dear Maya which stars Manisha Koirala.

AnxietyAnxiety is one of your biggest

tumble-downers! It can turn yourworld topsy-turvy – so much so, thetab you were keeping may haveskipped your mind, to make a mentalnote that one extra samosa, or thathalf a glass of carbonated sweetdrink, or even salad on a day of self-indulgence. It really takes very little toadd on those kilos, when we areanxious because we are not nearlyaware in those moments, what we areloading on even if we aresubconsciously careful, it happens.And that is precisely why thebathroom scale is a vital possession athome, despite all hindrances that willgive you an heads-up on – hey you aregaining weight!

W NDERHereʼs an answer.By Kalpana M Naghnoor

In these days of such awareness and wanting to be slim at alltimes, yet it so happens we gain weight. Suddenly one dayour jeans feel tight. You ignore it thinking it might just be

water retention. Then a few days later the jeans are too tight andthe chino too, then awareness dawns! That can’t be it! You havebeen busy, in fact very busy! You kept a tab on your food sowhen did all this happen? Well, there are reasons why you put onweight and why it does so without your knowledge.

why weightcreeps

up on you?

Winter monthsWeight gain in the winter months

happens to a lot of people like theyear’s cyclical event. But is this is newto you and if you have changedresidence, well take in the fact thatcold days prompt you to eat a littleextra to warm the body, especiallyhot chocolate and comfort foods likethat. It is also true that cold climatewill induce your body to burn morecalories, but then, we are warmindoors and that is when we indulgein those comfort foods, and theweight may just slowly andunknowingly creep onto our bodies.So, a good idea would be to drinkwarm green tea and black coffee tokeep the weight off, or even hotwater with a squeeze of lemon andhoney.

Not sleeping enoughSleep deprivation changes the

hormone levels in the body and theyinduce hunger. Thus, one tends to eatmore when one is awake, especiallylate at night and early mornings. Eventhe fact that all else is quiet, thatsolitude may initiate you into a snackmood. Hence it is wise to keepmicrowave popcorn bags stored. Theyare comforting and lower calorieintake as they are airy and crunchy, allfeatures of a good and satisfyingsnack, and it is warm when just takenout of the microwave, so a good onefor the winter months as well.

Antidepressants This medication can alleviate some

part of your stress. Therefore in theperiod of transition from beingdepressed to being less depressed,the celebratory mood may kick in andso we tend to eat a little more, drinkan extra measure to our happy newtimes. These little celebrations causeweight increases without us bingingor even being aware. On a happymood even if you are alone, and feelthe weight of the depressionlifted, you may just rewardyourself with a slice of breadand peanut butter and it isan easy pleasing snack. Thatone snack may induce a littleincrease in weight. So keep Jell-

Os at home the they are very low incalories and can be a very easilystored in the refrigerator and pop onein your mouth and be happy.

Medical conditionsCertain medication like steroids

and others also cause weight gain.There is the time through menopausewhen one tends to gain weight.Hypothyroidism is a medical conditionwhich will make you gain weight too.Then it is up to you to talk with yourdoctor. She will explain how thesemedical conditions and medicationswork and what rectory stimulation bythose medications can make you gainweight. See, in such situations it isbest to meet with a professionaldietician. This is not the time to thinkof it as another added wastefulexpense, because preventing aweight gain is better than trying tolose weight. Certain medications andmedical conditions are known tocause weight gain. A good dieticianwill guide you through that withoutthe worry of adding on the pounds.They will give you alternative naturalremedies to negate the medication’seffect of making one gain weight.

ImportantSome things we need to remember

are when we have gained weightbecause of medication, we must notcompare our weight gain to that ofothers, even in a similar situation. Thereason being, weight gain in parallelsituations too differs from person toperson. The solution too, will be avarying advisory for different bodytypes. So never compare yourself andthe weight gain situation and applythe same corrective measures. In thiscase, we may make mistakes andnever get the result we are lookingfor. If you feel the weight gain is onlybecause it is drug induced, do notstop without consultation with yourdoctor. In my own experience I cantell you how my mother-in-law lost alot of weight and stopped taking hercholesterol tablets thinking it was thetablet causing the weight loss.Actually it was her uncontrolleddiabetes. She had to be hospitalised.

If it is a weight gain or weight loss,the doctor you are consulting must bein the loop. And it is with her advice,that one can stop a medication, evenantidepressants. Over conversationspeople tend to give a lot ofunwarranted advice, especially onantidepressants. What we need toremember is that the doctorprescribed it for a reason. Because ofwhich, you must stop taking anantidepressant without doctor’sadvice just because somebody gaveyou some armchair advice.

Remember a medical conditionthat causes a weight gain, is also aculprit in reducing the metabolic rate.Take advice from your doctor andwork out an extra regime, to keep offthe weight gain. Add a mile to yourwalk or an extra chore to your dailyroutine. Take the steps instead of theelevator. All these little evaluationshelp one to be aware of what cancause the weight gain and the measuresthat can be adopted to prevent itfrom happening. Take charge and youwill be fine and alluring!

CERTAIN MEDICATIONLIKE STEROIDS ANDOTHERS ALSO CAUSEWEIGHT GAIN. THERE ISTHE TIME THROUGHMENOPAUSE WHEN ONETENDS TO GAIN WEIGHT.HYPOTHYROIDISM IS AMEDICAL CONDITIONWHICH WILL MAKE YOUGAIN WEIGHT TOO.

We

They wouldn't call it falling inlove if you didn't get hurt

sometimes, but you just pickyourself up and move on.

uses in the kitchen. While many of thecashews produced for commerce,come from Africa and India, thecashew tree (Anacardium –occidentale) is native to tropicalregions of Brazil. The Portugese tookit to Goa and from there it spreadthroughout Asia and eventuallyAfrica. Today, major production ofcashews occur in Vietnam, Nigeria,India and Ivory Coast.

The cashew tree can grow as highas 14 m (46 inches) but the dwarfcashew growing up to 6 metres (20feet) has proved more profitable with

earlier maturity and higher yields. Thetrue fruit of the tree is a kidney orboxing glove-shaped drupe thatgrows at the end of the cashew apple.The drupe develops first on the treeand then the pedicle expands tobecome the cashew apple. Within thetrue fruit is a single seed which isoften considered a nut in the culinarysense.

When buying raw cashews in thestore, take note that these nuts haveactually been steamed and are notentirely raw. This is because rawcashews contain “urushiol” which isthe same chemical that you wouldfind in oak or ivy poison.

Benefits of cashews: For yearsdieters were made to look on nutswith fear. Cashews were lovely butlethal. Each comma-shaped kernelseemed to make your waist wider andlife shorter. But now we learn that,these flavourful chunks of goodnessare nutritionally much the same asother nuts. Following are some of thehealth benefits of cashew nuts.

Ensures healthy heart: Cashew nutshave comparatively low-fat contentthan most other nuts. It is cholesterolfree, has rich antioxidants andcontains a number of healthpromoting phytochemicals thatensure protection against variousdiseases.

Prevents cancer: Cashew nuts arerich in flavonoids which are known tobe effective in combating the growthof tumour cells. It is rich in coppercontent that helps, prevent andcontrol the formation of cancerouscells and protects you from coloncancer.

104 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

Cashew nuts –why it is healthy

By Pushpa Bhatia

Considered third inconsumption, among all thethree nuts in the world,

cashew or ‘Kaju’, what we call it inHindi are crescent-shaped nuts,having a sweet flavor and plethora of

Manages hypertension andpromotes health of nerves: Cashewnuts contain magnesium, which isknown for its effectiveness incontrolling levels of blood pressurethere by enabling you to managehypertension. Lack of magnesium alsoaffects the health of nerve.

Aids in weight loss: According tostudies – people who regularlyconsumen cashew nuts and practisean active lifestyle are less susceptibleto sudden weight gain than peoplewho do not. Cashew nuts also containgood cholesterol and are henceconsidered to be very good for youroverall health.

Prevents gallstones: Gallstones areusually hard masses that are found inthe bile duct or gallbladder.Gallstones normally develop due tothe fatty nature of the cholesterolwhich obstructs the breakdown.

According to studies, eatingcashew nuts in moderation on aregular basis is helpful in preventingthe formation of gallstones in women.

Cashew as a medicine: In traditionalMaya medicine the levels or bark ofcashew trees were made into tea totreat diarrhoea. In India cashew nutsare considered to be a goodstimulant, an appetiser, a rejuvenator,a hair tonic, an aphrodisiac and a

restorative of lost vigour and sexualhealth.

Cashew oil: Cashews are roastedand shelled before it can be eaten. Oilextracted from the shells are used aslubricant and insecticide.

Cashew oil is a dark yellow oil forcooking or salad dressing pressedfrom cashew nuts (typically brokenchunks created during processing).

Cashew butter: This thick andcreamy nut butter is a greatalternative for peanut butter. It isdelicious and nutritious and is a staplein many households around the world.

Cashew nuts are commonly used inIndian cuisine, for garnishing sweetsor curries or ground into a paste thatforms a base of sauces for curries likeKorma or some sweets (Kaju burfee).It is also used in powdered form in thepreparation of several Indian sweetsand deserts. Fresh roasted cashewnuts with natural honey is anincredible snack. They are great whenmixed with raisins, dried cranberriesand other nuts.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 105

KAJU KATTI INGREDIENTS:11/2 cup roastedgrinded cashew nuts11/2 cup sugar90 ml or 6 tbsp water

METHODMake sugar syrup. When the sugar

melts off completely and begins toboil rapidly, add the cashew powderand lower the heat. The mixtureshould be smooth. Put back the panto the stove and cook till the mixturebecomes a mass. Transfer itimmediately on a butter paper oraluminum foil and cover it with thehelp of a rolling pin. Roll it evenly and

cut to desired shape.Beware – although,gently sweet, buttery, yetcrunchy and delicious,cashews contain gastric andintestinal soluble “oxalates”which can lead to complications orallergic reactions and can be lifethreatening. Prompt medicalattention is necessary if tree nutallergic reaction is observed.

We

Character is like a tree andreputation like its shadow. The

shadow is what we think of it; thetree is the real thing.

Snakes, salamanders and soulsShed their skinTo rejuvenate themselves And let go the memories Which haunt themMaking them floppy and fragile.

For snakes and salamandersThe interval is fixed,But the souls have a choice –They can discard it as often as they wish!

When did you last dispense with yours?

The soul also discards its skinIn a period of every few monthsTo rejuvenate itself.

– Neelam Saxena Chandra.

Shedding Skin

Warren Hastings

A little known episode from history. By P.V Ramanathan

Warren Hastings was the firstgovernor general of BritishIndia.

The following narration tries todepict a fortuitous occurrence in theprime of his youth.

“Warren Hastings sprang from anancient and illustrious race.” Hispedigree extended back to the greatDanish sea king whose sails were aterror to both coasts of the Britishchannel.

Warren Hastings was born on 6thDecember 1732. His mother died a fewdays later and his father too followedsoon. The orphaned Warren wasentrusted to the care of his distressedgrandfather. As a child, he studiedwith sons of the peasantry and therewas not the slightest inkling that aneventful career lay before him in theyears to come. He was studious andambitious to rise in life.

When he was eight years old, hisuncle took charge of young Warren.He went up to London where hestudied in a school at Newington. At10 he moved to West Minister school,at 14 he stood first in the exams andwas to join Christ church when destinywilled otherwise. His uncle died. Hisnew guardian, though friend and adistant relative did not show muchinterest in Warren and wanted to getrid of him instead of allowing him topursue his education. Despite strongremonstrance from his teacher DrNicholas who was even prepared tobear the expenses to send Warren toOxford, his guardian was utterlyadamant and with his influence in theEast India Company, he obtained awritership for young Warren andshipped him in January 1750 to Indiaeither to perish or prosper in atropical climate.

Warren set sail and soon foundhimself in October 1750 as a lad of 17at a Secretary’s office at Calcutta.

The circumstances, howeverhostile, apparently, which ultimatelyproved to his advantage, conspired todivert him from pursuing an academiccareer are narrated here in detail onlyto corroborate that when Hastingswas destined to lord over a great landmass in India, it would appear inretrospect how else every event,

The Romance of

trivial or momentous, would havefailed to fall in place to work towardsthat inexorable end.

After facing many a vicissitude inhis career in Bengal, Warren Hastingsreturned to England in 1764. Heremained there for four years. All thecapital he had was unwisely investedand lost. He felt that he had littleinterest to keep himself in England.With the help of his old masters, hegot himself appointed as a member ofthe Council in Madras.

In the spring of 1769, WarrenHastings set sail by the Duke ofGrafton and commenced a voyagewhich was to prove historical even toprovide material for a novel.

THE PASSENGERA German by the name of Imhoff

was one of the passengers he calledhimself a baron, had his wife too withhim.

She was destined to play the partof a queen in India in time to come asevents which would unfold wouldprove.

Lady Imhoff had the charm of awinsome personality and agreeablemanners. But there was no love lostbetween baron Imhoff and ladyImhoff. They were a loveless couple, amismatch from the beginning,brought together by the workings of acruel fate. Mutual animosity markedtheir relationship.

No other favourable circumstancewas needed to fuel the furtherance ofthe relationship between Hastingsand the young lady. The loneliness ofa sea voyage invited no distractionthat would break the monotony.What was to be a virtual desert of avoyage proved to be a romanticparadise for both! Hardly wouldHastings or Lady Imhoff haveimagined in their wildest dreamswhen they embarked upon thevoyage that it would transform theirlives unalterably.

A long sea voyage is conducive tobreed the utmost enmity or engenderthe deepest friendship. Theinconvenience of cramped cabins inwhich the passengers had to seekshelter forced them to the community

Samuel Jhonson. It was Hasting’sgood fortune that the woman whoentered his life had this diaposition inabundant measure and Hastings’illness afforded a greater opportunityto the lady to lavish all the tender carewhich feminity could bring to bearupon in such circumstances. It was astrange and welcome situation andthe possibilities it threw up forstrengthening the tie between thetwo had it been on land would nothave possibly occurred. As time rolledon, they were perilously drawingclose to each other.

Long before the Duke of Graftontouched Madras, Hastings was in love.No doubt, it could be said that he wasconsumed in a blaze of passion but itwas not unbridled and not of aprecipitous character. He wasprepared to brook the delayinevitable in such situations. It was acase of “The immortal puzzleinvolving the question of matrimonialdivergence – given the man andwoman – how to find a basis for theirsexual union…” the depravity of thehuman heart which feels some secondperson better suited to his or her tolive with. “Why so often, the coarseappropriates the finer, thus thewrong man the woman, the wrongwoman the man, many thousandyears of analytical philosophy havefailed to explain to our sense oforder,” as Thomas Hardy wrote,

Baron Imhoff was called forconsultations. It was decided that acase of divorce would be institutedand during the interregnum till thejudgement was delivered, Hastingsand the lady would continue to livetogether and Hastings would makeher his wife after annulment of themarriage and substantial munificencewould be bestowed on the willinghusband and Hastings would adoptthe children the lady had alreadyborne to the baron.

The baron was only too willing topart with a woman who was more abotheration than a wife and Hastingstoo happy to give her a home.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 107

hall and necessarily such an eventeventually brought all the passengerstogether. Hastings and the lady wereno exception to this heaven-sentscheme of things.

Soon, an attachment sprang upbetween Hastings and the gloriouslady who soon captured not only theimagination but also the affection ofHastings. She was also flattered byHasting’s attention and therelationship was strengthened soon.It was evident that they were twopeople whose talents andaccomplishments provedcomplementary to each other andwould have attracted notice in anycourt in Europe. Added to this, heranimosity towards her husband wastotal.

As matters thus stood, Hastingsfell ill. “A woman without an amorousheart is a dull companion,” said

SOON, AN ATTACHMENTSPRANG UP BETWEENHASTINGS AND THEGLORIOUS LADY WHOSOON CAPTURED NOTONLY THE IMAGINATIONBUT ALSO THE AFFECTIONOF HASTINGS’. SHE WASALSO FLATTERED BYHASTINGS’ ATTENTIONAND THE RELATIONSHIPSTRENGTHENED SOON.

We

I am a man of fixed and unbendingprinciples, the first of which is to

flexible at all times.

Scientists have discovered why humansdon’t have a penis bone, unlikechimpanzees, bears and most other

mammals. The penis bone, or ‘baculum’, firstevolved in mammals around 145 and 95million years ago, according to new researchconducted at the University College London,England.

The study’s lead author Dr Matilda Brindletold The Independent, a prestigious Britishnewspaper recently that one of the reasonshumans had lost their penis bone wasbecause we don’t have sex for long enoughto need one. “The common ancestors ofboth primates and carnivores had abaculum,” she said. “Humans are quite weirdas we’re one of the few primates thatdoesn’t have one.”

NOT SIZE, GIRTH MATTERS!

Itʼs the measure of satisfaction ultimately.By Maharaaj K. Koul

HERE

‘Mobile phones are the onlysubject on which menboast about who’s got thesmallest.”

– Neil Kinnock.

Primates who mate for threeminutes or more tend to have farlonger penis bones than those whoseintromission, or vaginal penetration,is below three minutes, she said. “Thehuman intromission duration tends tobe below two minutes, which mostpeople wouldn’t expect.” In contrast,the aye-aye, a nocturnal lemur,copulate for around an hour at a timeand has a very long baculum.

Dr Bridle said longer penis boneswere also seen in species withseasonal breeding and polygamousmating systems, which humansgenerally do not have. “Polygamousmating systems are where multiplemales and multiple females all matewith each other, like in chimpanzees,”she said. “While polygamous matingdoes take place among humans, it’snot common enough to necessitatethe retention of the penis bone.”Other reasons for the lack of baculumin humans is that the human matingsystem takes place throughout theyear and is less competitive than thatof other animals.

ONLY SEVEN SECONDSChimpanzees, who only have sex

for around seven seconds at a time,have a very small baculum, suggestingthat there might be evolutionarypressure among apes to lose the penisbone. However, the monkeys have apolygamous mating system in which afemale will mate with several males aday when she’s in heat. Malechimpanzees’ testicles are very largeas they produce a lot of sperm tomate with several females. “Humantesticles are smaller, which indicateswe don’t have such a strong selectionfor males mating with multiple

females at the same time,” observedDr Bridle.

So, how do the world’sapproximately 3,400,000,000 adultmales measure up against oneanother? Well, the competition is stiff.The map shows African men have theworld’s longest penises, with those ofthe Democratic Republic of Congo at

the top of the chart. As with all thingscomparative, someone has to come atthe bottom and that’s taken byThailand, Nepal and India.

Does size matter? Yes, it does, butwhen asked, women voted girth aswhat mattered, not the length. Thesize of the penis varies from oneindividual to another. The averagesexual length of the vagina is 6 inchesand only the outer 1/3rd part issensitive. The inner 2/3rd part isvirtually insensitive. Hence for femalesexual gratification, the size of theerect penis could be anything fromtwo inches plus. “It is a man’stechnique and not his penis size thatcharacterises the lover in him,” saysMumbai-based sexologist Dr PrakashKothari. So, it hardly matters howdeep he reached when there is goingto be no response. It might also beinteresting to note that against whatseveral marketing mailers claim, thesize of the penis cannot be changedwith exercise, pills or star secrets.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 109

The long and short of itPunakha Valley, a three-and-a-half-

hour drive (77km) from Bhutan’scapital Thimpu, is a quaint, sleepyvillage full of lush-green hillocks andpaddy fields; the jewel-blue streamsof two rivers – Pho Chhu and MoChhu – converge on its edge. Amidthe scenic landscape, traditional low-roof houses and the pleasantly warmclimate, vivid murals of the humanphallus dot the village. For the 18,000residents of the valley, the elaboratepaintings of the phallus, replete witheyes and expressions, that adornsthe walls of their homes and shops isa way of life, much like their nationaldish Ema datshi (chilli cheese) andlove for archery, the national sport.Move away from the homes, andshops dedicated to the phallus willstop you in your tracks; from there, alabyrinth filled with phallic designsthat confuse you and yet draw you in.Why is a small Bhutanese villageflooded with these phallus signs?Why are these people so unmoved bythe giant members marking theentrance to their homes and shops?

Punakha has countless tales

attached to its past, a majority ofthem about the ‘Divine Madman’ –Drukpa Kunley. A saint, he was aneccentric man who changed the wayBuddhism was practised in theDragon Kingdom – with a little helpfrom his “magic thunderbolt offlaming wisdom”, his penis. But it isthe defeat of the demoness of DochuLa Loro Duem that is the most-repeated legend. The story of hisconfrontation with the demonessculminates at Chimi LakhangMonastery near Lobesa in Punkha.The demoness was killed here andburied under a hillock, resemblingthe breast of a woman. Themonastery was built in 1499 by the14th Drukpa, Ngawang Choegyel. Themonastery is the repository of the 10-inch ivory, wood and bone phallus aswell as the bow and arrow of thesaint. Apart from the prayer wheels(manis), the monastery is full offrescoes, depicting the colourful lifeof the “saint of 5,000 women”, a titlegiven to Kunley, for his claim ofenlightening women across Bhutanwith his unorthodox methods,notably sexual intercourse.

MEANWHILE, A 55-YEAR-OLD KOLKATABUSINESSMAN FOUNDOUT WHAT IT WOULDPERHAPS BE LIKE TOHAVE AN OVERDOSE OFVIAGRA. THE FATHER OFTWO, ENDED UP WITH APROLONGED ERECTIONTHAT LASTED FOR –HOLD YOUR BREATH – AFULL 21 DAYS.

110 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

Believe It or Not !John Wayne Bobbit was

immortalised on 18 June 1989 whenhis wife Lovena cut off the sleepingman’s penis because he had orgasnsand did not let (her) have orgasms (asconfessed to the policeon arrest)hence the term “bobbitised” below.✿ Five years after a Pune woman

smashed her live-in partner’s headwith a stone before bobbitisinghim, Bombay High Court upheld atrial court order on 10 March 2015sentencing the accused SakinaKhan (30) to life imprisonment!

✿ A 20-year-old married woman inMP’s Sidhi blindfolded herboyfriend Sanjay Kewat (22) andallegedly bobbitised him on 23January 2017 after coming to knowthat he was getting married tosomeone else!

✿ A businessman from a UP town wasadmitted to a Delhi hospital inAugust 2006 with a unique problem--- he was having two full-functionalmale organs, a condition medicallycalled as penile duplication or‘Diphallus’!

✿ Britain’s Royal Opera House agreedto stop using a picture in its adsafter an Argentinian actor, JuanPablo, complained in March 2008that his penis had been air brushedout of a nude image!

✿ Danial Uraon (35), a drunkard tribalhusband paid dearly for his bingewhen his wife slashed his penis witha knife at Basgama village in Purniaon 13 June 2008!

✿ A Malaysian welder had to have anut removed from around his penisafter an attempt to lengthen itbefore he got engaged wentembarrassingly wrong inSeptember 2008. The nut got stuckon his penis following an erectionforcing to seek medical attention!

✿ An Indian-born Australian womanRajni Narayan (44) allegedly set fireto her husband’s genitalssuspecting his fidelity which alsoset her Cleveland Avenuetownhouse in Adelaide ablaze inJanuary 2009!

✿ In a letter in the British Journal ofUrology in January 2009, Dr Joe

Philip of Leighton Hospital inCrewe, England, warned parents ofnewly-trained boys to take steps tokeep their sons’ penises safe whenthey go to the bathroom because offalling toilet seats!

✿ In August 2009, visitors to a touristattraction in Berlin, Germany, madeoff with an unusual momento – the30-cm-long penis of a Lego giraffe!

✿ South Africa’s President JacobZuma’s bid to ban a painting byBrett Murray in which his genitalsare exposed suffered a setback on24 May 2012 with a court inJohannesburg saying it wouldn’t beeasy to enforce any order on theban!

✿ Kailash (45), a resident ofParbastsar block, Nagaur district inRajasthan, who renounced theworld to become a Sanyasi triedcastrating himself on 31 June 2012to get rid of worldly pleasures,ended up in hospital!

✿ Revealing its prudish side, state-runChina Central Television in July 2012covered the genitals ofMichelangelo’s masterpiece ‘David’during a programme on an artfestival in Beijing!

✿ Rameshwar Harijan (38) choppedoff the genitals of his male loverRajkumar Gurmi (30) in a Mumbaislum on 26 May 2013 after a fight.Both were living together!

✿ A Swedish politician who wanted toshow his new tattoo to followerson a social media site on 25 July2013, accidentally revealed hisgenitals in the picture he posted onthe social media!

✿ A Russian performance artist PytorPavlensky nailed his genitals to theground outside Moscow’s RedSquare in protest over Russia’s‘police state’ as the country markedNational Police Day on 10November 2013!

✿ A jealous husband castrated andmurdered the mayor DominiqueLeboucher (55) of a hamlet inFrance on 23 May 2014 before killinghimself. The mayor was suspectedof having an affair with themurderer’s wife!

✿ Wu-Tang Clan rapper Christ Bearer

aka Andre Johnson reportedly cutoff his penis on 17 April 2014 andthen jumped off a second storybalcony in North Hollywood tocommit suicide!

✿ On 1 June 2014, the five-year-old son of a Dalit Pasi brick kiln workerwas lured into a dry canal and hiswas penis severed, for relievinghimself near the flour mill of an OBCowner!

✿ A Canadian man sued a Montrealhospital claiming $142,000 indamages in June 2014 over abotched surgery that left his penisan inch shorter!

✿ Medicalrecordsappear toconfirm thatGermandictator AdolfHitler didhave only onetesticle,confirmedGermanhistorian ProfPeterFleischmannin December2015!

✿ A statue at apark inArcachon,France, ofHeracles, aparagon ofmasculinitywhoimpregnated 50 women in onenight has had a removable penisattached in May 2016 becausepeople kept stealing the original!

✿ An Australian builder has beenbitten by a Redback spider on hispenis for the second time in fivemonths. The spider bit the 22-year-old the second time at a toilet in aSydney building on 28 September2016!

✿ A family in Bangladesh was arrestedon 8 February 2017 after using afake penis on her wrist to trickvillagers into believing a genie hadperformed a sex change on theirteenage daughter!

The country that launched theBattle of the Bulge in World War II isnow leading the way in the battle overa different kind of bulge. German menwent under the knife for 2,786 penileenlargement surgeries in 2013,according to the International Societyof Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. That’s amuch larger tally than the other ninecountries that provided sufficientsurvey data. The organisationestimates that there were 15,414 ofthese operations performedworldwide. So, almost one in five ofthose seeking to add inches to theirmember were in Germany.

TOO HOT TO HANDLEMeanwhile, a 55-year-old Kolkata

businessman found out what it wouldperhaps be like to have an overdoseof Viagra. The father of two, ended upwith a prolonged erection that lastedfor – hold your breath – a full 21 days.And the exasperated gentleman, whoobviously found the situation too hotto handle, hadn’t consumed the magicpill. His predicament resulted from aneurological disorder.

It took an emergency surgery torelieve him but the man lost his abilityto resume normal sexual activity, saiddoctors at the Wockdart Hospitalwhere he was operated upon inMarch 2010. The man had beensuffering from a problem calledPriapism – triggered by a peripheralnervous system disorder. While fornormal individuals, penile erectionsubsides once sexual excitement hasceased, victims of priapism fail toreturn to a normal state. Prolongederection usually leads to a permanentdamage to the penis and could evencause death.

In the last 15 years since Viagra hasbeen introduced in the market, therehas been a sea change in themanagement of ED. The marketing ofthese drugs and their availability inthe Indian market at a cheap rate hasalso increased the general public’sawareness of ED as a medicalcondition with underlying causes andthe availability of effective treatment.The treatment has the ability toreverse the cause of impotence by

using low intensity shock wavetherapy.

Meanwhile, scientists havedeveloped an eight-inch remote-controlled metal penis that may helpmen struggling with severe ED.Developed by researchers from theUniversity of Wisconsin, USA, theheat-activated device can be used atthe press of a button in just twominutes. The implant will help revivethe sex lives of people who fail torespond to drugs like Viagra or othertreatments.

The implant is made from Nitinol ---also known as ‘memory metal’ –which is a mixture of nickel andtitanium metals. It can change shapewhen heated or cooled. At bodytemperature of 37 degree Celsius, theimplant is just a couple of inches long.However, when heated to 42 degree,it expands to eight inches.

NEW TECHNOLOGY“A shape memory alloy-based

penile prosthesis represents apromising new technology in thetreatment of ED,” said leadresearcher Dr Brian Le. Surgeons canmake a tiny incision at the bottom ofthe penis and insert the implant –made from stretchy latex coveredwith a coating of memory metal.Attached to one end is a tiny heatingcoil. The coil can be turned on by aremote held over the groin,generating a metal field whichtriggers a current. The coil thenwarms the implant, making it expandand fully erect. A cool flannel makesthe swelling go down.

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 111

Penis transplants Medical journals reported a failed

penis transplant in China in 2006.South African doctors successfullyperformed the world’s first penistransplant on a 21-year-old youngman who had his organ amputatedafter a botched circumcision ritual, ahospital said on 13 March 2015. Thenine-hour transplant, which occurredin December 2014, was part of a pilotstudy by Tygerberg Hospital in CapeTown and the University ofStellenbosch, to help scores ofinitiates who either die or lose theirpenises in botched circumcisionseach year. “The donor was adeceased person who donated hisorgan for transplant,” said Dr Andrevan der Merwe, who led theoperation. The young patientrecovered full use of his manhoodand fathered a child (with the

borrowed penis).However, the first reattachment

of a penis was reported from India. Aproperty dispute cost a 24-year-oldresident of Bhopal dearly. He wasdragged out of his house in themiddle of the afternoon on 12 August2007 by goons employed by his rivalparty who castrated him. That wouldhave been the end of the matter butfor a rare rescue act performed byplastic surgeons Dr R. K. Khazanchiand Dr Aditya Agarwal at GangaramHospital in Delhi after the patientwas driven by his relatives fromBhopal. The severed penis was put ina special ice bag and applying first-aid to stop bleeding, the miraclehappened after 15 hours after hiscastration. The surgery lasted sixhours. Dr Khazanchi had conducted asimilar surgery on a man from UP in2006.

Delay is preferable to error.

We

“A SHAPE MEMORY ALLOY-BASED PENILE PROSTHESISREPRESENTS A PROMISINGNEW TECHNOLOGY IN THETREATMENT OF ED,” SAIDLEAD RESEARCHER DRBRIAN LE. SURGEONS CANMAKE A TINY INCISION ATTHE BOTTOM OF THE PENISAND INSERT THE IMPLANT –MADE FROM STRETCHYLATEX COVERED WITH ACOATING OF MEMORYMETAL.

Ilooked at the files lyingon my table awaiting myapproval. Poring over the

files for long hours, findingmy subordinates’ mistakes inthose files or approving theschemes proposed by them, I experienced a deep sense ofsatisfaction. It always filledme with a secret pride thatno decision in mydepartment in this largeprivate sector organisationwas taken without myconsent. When I was with mycolleagues and subordinatesand they praise me for myability to handle difficultsituations in a composedmanner, my heart swelledwith pride.

I, however, was far toointelligent not to perceivethe admirationI inspired in others. Wearingan impassive expression onmy face I would rather tellthem, “Everything isteamwork and without allyour sincere cooperation and

utmost effort things wouldnot have gone so smoothly. Iam just doing my bit of work.Besides, no one isindispensable on Earth.”

However, deep down inmy heart, I always cherishedthe feeling that I was, if notindispensable, definitelyirreplaceable in office.

My professional careerwas soaring, backed by mymanagerial and oratorialskills and technicalcompetence. My spendinglong hours in office was welljustified and definitely made

all my colleagues look up tome. But they did not knowthere was another secretreason as to why thisdynamic good-looking seniormanager from a bigcorporate house preferredspending less time at home.

Iwas in my mid-thirtiesnow and the large three-

bedroom flat that I owned inone of the most expensivesuburbs of the metropolis ofMumbai was shared only bymy wife, Arpita. Next weekour marriage wouldcomplete three years but tillnow I often wondered if Ireally knew that slender,comely bespectacledwoman.

Ours was an arrangedmarriage and though I hadone or two fleeting affairs

Her hidden skills. By Ratnadip Acharya

The fruit OfPatience

ShortStory

I wanted her tobe in step withmy co l leagues ’and seniors ’wives so that shewould never fee lherse l f in fer iorin any fami lygather ings orcorporatepart ies.

“Greatman, you had

never told us thatbhabhi is so talented. It is

such a prestigious periodical.Getting published in it issuch an honour. In fact,Sangita, my wife, is an

avid reader of it.”

before my marriage, neverhad I ventured intooccasional flings; somethingnot really a rarephenomenon in ourcorporate life. Since ourmarriage, I tried to introduceArpita to my colleagues’wives, egged her to go outshopping with them; I askedher time and again tofrequent restaurants withthem. I wanted her to be instep with my colleagues’ andseniors’ wives so that shewould never feel herselfinferior in any familygatherings or corporateparties.

Iencouraged her to makefriends with women

staying in our housingsociety. But all my efforts,which went on for a fewmonths, met with abjectfailure. Though she foundfriends in one or two middle-aged women in our housingsociety, she had her ownreasons to decline all otherproposals I had given her.

She had found the topicson which other women of herage discussed utterlymundane. She was nevercomfortable in frequentinggood restaurants, claimingthat prices of foods wereexorbitantly high there. Shewould rather prefer coffeeand a dosa from ordinaryUdipi hotels, which,otherwise, I barely visited.

In the beginning Isincerely wanted her to knowand understand that herhusband was extremely welloff and that she was free tosquander money. I secretlyfelt, probably like manyother urban guys, that givingmy spouse the liberty tospend money the way shewanted would make her holdme in high regard. But Arpitaproved me wrong. Shehardly spent any money. If at

“Getready, we will go

shopping today,” I toldher, without revealing much.

“But I don’t want anythingfrom a shopping mall,” she

replied.“No shopping mall, we will go

and get second-handbooks, as many as

you want.”

all she spent, it was onbuying second-hand booksand DVDs of classical musicfrom roadside DVD sellers. Ihad often told her to buynew books from Crosswordsor Oxfords, but she claimedto love the stench of oldbooks and preferredroadside booksellers.

Iattributed her queerlifestyle to her typical

middle-class upbringingwhere guilt was attached tosplurging on shopping. Attimes I tried to hint the sameto her with a caustic remark,but she would welcome mybarbs with a calm smile.I found the cloak of calmnessthat she always woremystifying and also secretlyresented her taking nocognisance of myprofessional success. Thoughwe were spending a peacefullife together, we both hadalready learnt the art ofavoiding each other duringthe time we were together.

Never had it occurred tome that behind theapparently ordinary lifestyleshe preferred living there

could be something worthlearning about her. But lifealways comes with itssurprise package when weare the least prepared for it.It may contain some good orbad tidings for us.

This evening when I wasscrutinising one of the files,suddenly Amitesh stormedinto my room. He wascarrying a periodical. Beingone of my seniors and best

friends, he never took mypermission before enteringmy room.

“Is it bhabhi?” he askedme directly, keeping theperiodical open in front ofme. I stole a glance at theopen page when my heartskipped a beat. It was a storyby Arpita Bhadhuri. Withouta word, I read the fewparagraphs of the story andknew that the author wasnone other than my wife.

“Yeah, it is by her,” I saidto Amitesh slowly and addeda blatant lie, “but it seemsshe changed the story a bitbefore sending it to themagazine. What she mademe read was a bit different.”

“Great man, you hadnever told us that bhabhi isso talented. It is such aprestigious periodical.Getting published in it is suchan honour. In fact, Sangita,my wife, is an avid reader ofit. And after reading thestory she told me, ‘It must beArpita, Akash’s wife,’’’Amitesh paused and added,“I am leaving, man, in ahurry. By the way, a party isdue, remember.” He left in aflash, leaving me in aspeechless state.

Now I read the storyminutely. And, after

reading every paragraph, Iexperienced a deep churningsensation in my heart.

The vivid description ofour flat left no doubt that mywife was the author of thestory. The story was about awoman who enjoyed heralofness with birds to whomshe offered water andcrumbs of food on thewindowsill and with the tiny

The int imate andcandid descr ipt ionof her love andre lat ions with b i rdsand f lower ingplants was so l i ve lythat whi le go ingthrough the storyone could fee l l i kebeing a part o fMother Nature.

plants that grew in theearthen pots of the verandaof their flat. The intimate andcandid description of herlove and relations with birdsand flowering plants was solively that while goingthrough the story one couldfeel like being a part ofMother Nature.

Many a time I had seenArpita keeping water in asmall bowl on the windowsillbut never had it occurred tome that during daytime,while I was busy in office,quite often tiny sparrowsentered our room,comfortably perched on herpalm and ate grains off it.

It was beyond me toimagine that a woman couldtend and water the flowerplants so lovingly as thoughthey were her own children.

Though it might sound likefantastic imagination toimagine that the lovingtouch of a woman couldbring more flowers to aflower plant, while readingher depiction of the sameevent, it appeared so livelyand convincing. Hercommand of the languagewas so commendable thatevery word appeared alive. Itwas easily understandable bysomeone like me, who had aslim attachment withliterature that she had beeninto writing for a long while.

After reading the storytwice, pursing my lips, Iremained silent for a longtime, looking outside thewindow. Lost in my ownmaze of self-conceit and ego,never had I bothered tounderstand Aprita while she

continued growing in herown way. Probablyprofessional success mademe so vainglorious that Icould never feel hersensibility which I had alwaysconfused as her mediocrity. Iremembered blowing myown trumpet in front of herafter getting each promotionor increment in office whileshe would listen to me inpeaceful silence.

Without any further ado, Ileft office earlier than usual.

On reaching home I foundher standing by the window,watching the sun settinggracefully. Hearing myfootfall she looked at meover her shoulder. She wasprobably a bit surprised tofind me home earlier thanusual that evening.

“Get ready, we will go

shopping today,” I told her,without revealing much.

“But I don’t wantanything from a shoppingmall,” she replied.

“No shopping mall, wewill go and get second-handbooks, as many as you want.We’ll shop for books today,” Ismiled at her. At once hereyes twinkled with joy.

Around 15 minutes lateras we were leaving, hand inhand, I said goodbye to myotherwise most faithfulcompanions – male ego and a subtle arrogance – forgood.

114 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

We

You might not think thatprogrammers are artists,but programming is an

extremely creativeprofession. It's logic-based

creativity.

✿ While chopping onionsyou will shed less tears ifyou cut the root end ofthe onion off last.Refrigerate beforechopping. Peel undercold running water.

✿ While peeling thin-skinned fruit like tomatorefrigerate tomatoes.Hold the tomato firmlyand scrape with a paringknife from the bottom tothe top several times.Prick the skin with thepoint of the knife. Thepeel will remove easily.

✿ While cooking vegetablesthat give off unpleasantodours, simmer a smallpan of vinegar on top ofthe stove or add vinegarto the cooking water. It isa simple method forfanishing unpleasantcooking odours.

✿ Submerging a lemon inhot water for 15 minutesbefore squeezing willyield a good amount ofjuices after squeezing.

✿ You can lengthen the lifeof olive oil by adding acube of sugar to thebottle

✿ To keep cheese fromdrying out wrap in a clothdampened with vinegar

✿ Place crushed tissuepaper on the bottom ofyour cookie jar.

✿ Grind a half lemon ororange rinds in thegarbage disposal toremove any unpleasantodour.

✿ Garlic cloves can be keptin a freezer. When readyto use, peel and chopbefore thawing.

✿ Put honey in small plasticfreezer containers to

prevent sugaring in therefrigerator. Be sure theyare wrapped securely.

✿ To keep dry onions fromsprouting and becomingsoft, wrap individually infoil. They will stay firmfor some time.

✿ To determine whether anegg is fresh withoutbreaking the shell,immerse the egg in a pan of cool saltedwater. If it sinks to thebottom it is fresh if itrises to the surface,throw it away.

✿ After peeling too manypotatoes, cover themwith cold water to which a few drops ofvinegar have been added.Keep refrigerated andthey will last for 3 or 4days.

✿ Add a lump of butter or a

few teaspoon of cookingoil to the water. Rice,noodles or spaghetti willnot boil over or sticktogether.

✿ To get the ketchup out ofthe bottle insert adrinking straw. Push it tothe bottom of the bottleand then remove enoughair. Enough air willbe admitted to start aneven flow.

✿ Line the bottom of thevegetable compartment(freezer) with papertowelling. This absorbsthe excess moisture andkeeps all vegetables andfruits fresher for a longerperiod of time or put asfew dry. Sponges in thevegetable compartmentof the freezer to absorbmoisture.

– Kiran Mathur.

HOUSEHOLD HINTS

“Root vegetables are healing and balancing for the body in astate of stress.” How true is the statement and how importantare they for us?

Root vegetables might not be the best looking things onEarth, but then looks are not everything. They were not sopopular before as most of them taste earthy and bitter. Butnow beets, parsnips, artichokes, sweet potatoes and manymore roots and tubers have made a space for themselves inthe modern-day meals because of their adaptable flavoursand wholesome properties. Since these vegetables grow closeto the earth, they predominantly carry the properties of theearth. They are dense and fulfilling. All of them are gluten-free. They are abundant sources of starches, (low) carbs,vitamins, antioxidants and minerals, plus they tend to belower in calories and have a low glycaemic index.

Cleaning the refrigerator is like a never-ending chore, but stillit is an important one and should not be avoided, as the healthof our family depends on it. How often should our refrigeratorbe cleaned?

The refrigerator is one of the hardest working appliances inyour home – and one of that often takes a beating. It’s subjectto spills, varied odours and overcrowding. The frequency ofcleaning your refrigerator will depend on how you use it. But thefollowing maintenance tips will keep your refrigerator in tip-top shape. Daily: get rid of spoilt items, wipe up spills, and makesure the items going into the refrigerator are clean. Weekly:wipe down the outside of thefridge – doors, top, sides andhandles with mild soap and adamp cloth. Seasonally: give theinterior of the fridge a thoroughcleaning. Remove the food itemsfrom the fridge and place them ina cooler. Turn off the power to thefridge safely and allow glassshelves and drawers to get to room temperature beforewashing them. When wiping down the interior of the fridge,avoid scented soaps. Instead use a homemade solution ofbaking soda and hot water. Another cleaning solution is avinegar-water mixture. Dust the coils and the back every fewmonths and check the drip pan. Keeping your refrigerator cleanwill help keep away harmful bacteria that can contaminate yourfood and make you sick, so make sure you keep up the chore.

Potatoes are potatoes, may be sweet ones or the normalwhite ones. Please tell us which ones are healthier.

Sweet potatoes are often regarded as a healthier alternative(even though they are sweet) to the white potatoes which havebeen recently maligned as ‘public enemy number one’. Wemight even say that sweet potatoes are to white potatoes, whatbrown rice is to white rice. Sweet potatoes have more vitamin Aand fibre, which makes us feel full longer, but white potatoesare higher in essential minerals such as iron, magnesium andpotassium. But in head-to-head comparison, these two tubersare seemingly very similar. Even then it is surprising that thesweet potato has a better reputation than its white cousin and isactually lower on the glycaemic index and helps stabilise blood

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 115

Q A&KitchenQueries

sugar better. Moreover, the preparation method also influencesthe properties. We mostly eat sweet potatoes baked or boiled,not fried, but more than a third of all white potatoes areconsumed as either chips or French fries.

We know the root vegetables are important for us. Please tellus how to cook and store them?

Remove the soil from beets, carrots, parsnips, potatoes,turnips and radishes by carefully washing them in cold runningwater. To prevent rotting allow excess water to evaporatebefore storing the vegetables. Cut off tops of root vegetables.Root vegetables can be consumed raw but because they arehard and have an earthy flavour, they are more palatablewhen cooked. Steaming or boiling roots is a great way ofpreparing them in order to mash or puree them – any rootcan be blended into creamy root soup. Baking vegetables withskins intact minimises the reduction of loss of nutrients. Bakebeets, make a creamy potato soup, braise carrots and parsnipsand roast or bake rutabagas.

How should potatoes and onions be stored without rotting?This is a good question as we all use a lot of these two

vegetables in our home and hence tend to buy them in lots.While storing we all make the mistake of putting them all inone basket. Potatoes should be stored inside a paperbag in a cool, dark and dry place away from onions

and their sprout-encouraging gases.Onions and potatoes can release moisture andgases that will cause the other to spoil faster. Toprevent them from rotting too quickly, keep themseparately and store each in a cool, dark and dry place. Whenbought in bulk do not forget to inspect them from time totime and remove any rotten potato or onion, as one rottenpotato or onion can spoil the whole lot if not removed in time.

When raspberries are in season, we can only eat a few at atime, even if ripe and sweet. Please tell us some other wayto use them in a delicious way.

Yes, you can use them to make a ‘raspberry sorbet’, as theweather is also changing as summer is upon us. Sorbets arehealthy and full of the natural flavours. Add one cup waterand five cups of washed fresh raspberries in a blender. Pulseuntil the mixture has a smooth consistency. Strain the pureedraspberries. Add 11/2 cups sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla and 1-2tablespoons of fresh lemon juice to the raspberry juice in thebowl. Whisk until the sugar is dissolved. Freeze for three hoursor more till the sorbet gets a firm consistency. Enjoy.

– Savita Bhargava.

KitchenQueries

The Andaman and NicobarIslands are home to abreathtakingly beautiful

coastline and lush forested interior.Islands immersed in shimmeringturquoise water are the abode toprimeval jungle and mangroveforests. Popular for sugar whitebeaches, this place is a perfectdestination to ramble around orsimply chill out on sun-baked beaches.

A honeymooners’ paradise thatliterally has so much to offer tovisitors but the placelargely remainsunexplored. It’s one ofthe reasons Jagdish Mukhi, thelieutenant governor, Andaman andNicobar, is keeping no stone unturnedto make the place a most sought-afterdestination for tourists. His initiativeshave brought a 38 per cent rise intourism ever since he took the charge.

Woman’s Era in an exclusive chatwith Jagdish Mukhi at Andamanhouse, Delhi, tried to find what makesAndaman and Nicobar a must-visitdestination and various initiativestaken by government to make theplace tourist-friendly. Excerpts:

Easy on pocketComprising 572 islands and

Havelock being the most popular forits splendid beaches rated numberone in Asia, Andaman was never atourist’s favourite choice because ofsky-rocketing air tariff. All thanks tothe government, that tariff rate hasbeen slashed by more than 50 percent in recent past months. “Tourismis the main industry for us,” says theLG while explaining, “Our main targetis to showcase the unscathed beauty

Andaman & Nicobar

Islands

Andaman & Nicobar

IslandsGaining the limelight for the right reasons.By Renu Singh

TheTheAndaman & Nicobar

Islands

Andaman & Nicobar

Islands

TheThe

Jagdish Mukhi

Andaman Islands

Port Blair

Diglipur

Bonington

KarenKartara

Betapur

RongatYadita

Jelebar

AlipurMalappuram

Beadonabad

Manpur

Arainj-laka-punga

of Andaman & Nicobar Islands to theworld, which has not been done yet.We want tourists to know that thecleanest and most beautiful beachesare in Islands over here. Beaches farbetter and beautiful than theHavelock Islands are in the Anadmanislands but haven’t beenexplored yet. There is somuch to see frommeandering mangrovecreeks to rich biodiversity(considered second best inthe word) and culturallydiversel human population.That it is the habitat forsome of the best corals inthe world and 96 per centof its land is under greencover,” he shares adding,“Our first objective was tomake travelling pocket-friendly. Naturally, for that the airtariff had to be reduced. So, we tookup the matter and requested ourministers to do something. Six newflights were added to Port Blair – oneeach from Mumbai, Bengaluru,Hyderabad, Delhi, Kolkata andChennai. They were started October-November last year. The flight whichwas costing around `25,000 fromDelhi now can be booked for `8-9thousand. Similarly, from Chennai theflight tariff has been reduced from`4000 to 3500. People avoidedAndaman as a tourist destination forlong primarily because of high airtariff. But things are changing for thebetter and will further improve it inthe near future”.

Catering to the needs of touristsJagdish Mukhi further said just

reducing flight tariff wasn’t enough toallure tourists. When a tourist makes aplan for a getaway, a lot of things aretaken into consideration –accommodation, internal transportand, most importantly, safety.Providing luxurious yet comfortableaccommodation to tourists was thenext objective. “See, there arebasically three kinds of tourists: ahigh-end tourist who has highspending power, then we havehoneymooners and LTC (leave travelconcessions). We have to cater to the

needs of all kind of tourists. So, LTCssufficient accommodation is alreadyin place within Port Blair city.Moderate to star hotels, luxuryresorts and luxury tents are availablein Port Blair and rest of the touristdestinations. A five-star hotel Taj, isalso coming up at Havelock Island. Itwill be opened for tourists from 31July 2017. There are equally goodhotels providing world-class servicesin Port Blair. The facility for internaltransport needed improvisation too.Let’s assume a person has reachedPort Blair and he has to reachHavelock Island, Ross Island, ViperIsland, Aberdeen, Diglipur or anyother place. Government ship servicesare available from Port Blair to theseplaces, but now private companieshave also started their boat services.

A private company has recentlyintroduced 400 ships on the HavelockIsland route from Port Blair. These arethe indications, when the privatesector starts investing, growth isinevitable in the sector.”

Historical significanceAndaman Islands are covered with

dense lush green forests and endlessvariety of exotic flora and fauna. Withso much to offer, Andaman still isn’texplored much by tourists. Explainingthe reason for it, Jagdish Mukhi says,“I feel there is a need to make peopleaware about the place, word-of-mouth publicity isn’t enough for that.After taking the oath on 22 August,2016, I have circulated a booklet onAndaman and Nicobar tourismattached with a copy of variousjournals in various cities of thecountry and such efforts are stillgoingon. We tried to showcase thebeauty of Andaman Islands throughour pavilion at the India InternationalTrade Fair, Delhi, in November too. Ispoke in a address to the public that,besides these tourist places, a veryimportant monument to explore inAndaman is the Cellular Jail, a mutewitness to the sacrifices made by ourfreedom fighters and the physical and

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 117

COMPRISING 572 ISLANDSAND HAVELOCK BEINGTHE MOST POPULAR FORITS SPLENDID BEACHESRATED NUMBER ONE INASIA, ANDAMAN WASNEVER A TOURIST’SFAVOURITE CHOICEBECAUSE OF SKY-ROCKETING AIR TARIFF.

mental torture meted out to themduring the British regime. I have seenpeople getting emotional afterwatching the evening show bringingalive the saga of the heroic freedomstruggle by freedom fighters. In thataddress I made an appeal to peoplethat once in their lifetime they mustvisit Andaman to see the Cellular Jail.The upkeep of the monument is ourprime responsibility.” he says. A tenday Island Tourism Festival is theannual cultural event organised bygovernment to promote tourism inAndaman. The main events are held atPort Blair. However, smallprogrammes, as a part of festival arealso organised in other places likeWimberlygunj, Wandoor, Neil,Havelock, Rangat, Mayabunder,Diglipur, Hut Bay, Car Nicobar,Kamorta, Campbell Bay, etc. Thehighlight of the festival is theexhibition depicting strides made bythe Island administration in variousspheres and sale of generalmerchandise, food stalls, and stalls ofinterest to tourists, floatingRestaurant, etc. The main attractionof the festival is the performance ofartists, especially reputed musicbands, Bollywood singers, dancersand performers.

Bollywood’s soujournAlthough some movies were shot

in Andaman, the numbers are veryfew. The beautiful islands of Andamanare ready to embrace the filmmakersbut not much enthusiasm is shown, bythem for film shoots, which willundoubtedly help the place to attaingreater visibility globally. So, weasked Jagdish Mukhi about his plansto make Andaman a shoot-friendlyplace by providing subsidy to films likeUP government has done. “In thepast, some films were shot in Islandsof Andaman. I agree this will boosttourism in Andaman and Nicobar and Iam looking into the matter. There isno demand by filmmakers yet forsubsidy. Once they initiate talks, wewill take required action,” he says.

International airportThe plan is also to connect Port

Blair to international flights. “PortBlair is an international airport butthere are no international flightslanding here. We are coming up with anew building for the airport from 6April costing around 450 crore rupees.And I have requested our ministers togive us at least one flight fromKolkata to Port Blair- Phuket. A starthas to be made from somewhere,” hepoints out.

Boosting underwateradventure sports

To attract tourists, governmentalso plans to introduce moreunderwater adventure sports. “Weare trying to introduce more andmore water sports. Scuba diving isthere in Goa too but sea walk can onlyby enjoyed at Andaman, and surfingtoo. We are also introducingsubmersible scooters in which you godown into the sea at a depth of 10-20km with fish and turtles swimming allaround you for an unforgettableexperience. We also plan to bring

back seaplane rides for tourists. Tofacilitate tourists further we are alsoplanning to introduce a 20-seaterhelicopter service from Port Blair toHavelock Island every 15 numbers. Theship services in place already is verytime consuming.”

Safety’s foremost There has also been talk about

making Port Blair a free port forsmooth trading for many years butnothing has been done yet. We askedthe LG if there are any plans to makePort Blair a free port. “That is not anoption with me but it is theGovernment of India who has todecide. There is some strategicimportance of Andaman & Nicobar.We are strategically most importantplace in the world today. I don’t wantto speak much on that. 33 per cent ofthe coastal area of India is inAndaman. We are nearer to othercountries than our mainland, India.From safety point of view, they maynot be thinking on making Andamanfree port. If we allow free tourism tothe foreigners then there is a questionmark. We had more than four lakhtourists visiting Andaman in 2016 andout of them 28 thousand wereforeigners. When they land at PortBlair an additional permission has betaken to enter Andaman Islands,despite having a visa for the Indiavisit. It means something, which iswhy we are taking utmost precautionsin ensuring the safety of tourists andlocals here,” he signs off.

Peak season: Although Andamanand Nicobar Islands witness footfallof tourists all year round, winterremains the peak season. In 2016December a recorded massivefootfall of tourists which was 57,501as per data shared by Andaman andNicobar’s tourism department.

Lean season: June to Septembermonths remain the lean season fortourism in Andaman and NicobarIslands. The lowest tourists footfallwas recorded in the month of June,which was 18,549 – as per datashared by Andaman and Nicobar’stourism department.

118 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

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Answers toCrossword-149

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Please accept my entry for the crossword competition. I subscribe to all the rules andregulations of the competition.

Name

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Delhi. Neha PrashantRege, Goa. Indu Badgel,

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Rules and Regulations: ● Entries must be written on the crosswordprinted here. Photocopies will not be accepted. ● Should reach Womanʼs Era by

30 June 2017, by ordinary post. No corres pon dence in this matter will beentertained. ● The contest is not open to the employees of Delhi Press. Everyentry should be accompanied by the senderʼs family photo. Please send a signed

declaration that you have no objection to printing your family picture.

Piali–Curry

BistroThe

Some aristocratic eating places worth visiting. By Asmita Arora

Dal mash lahori, Piali.

Plumber, the Lounge.

If there is one thing culinaryexperts from around the worldswear by it is the Indian ‘curry’.

But the curry is not just limited toIndia. With each passing generation,new countries and regions haveadded their own specialities andentered the curry genre of food. Piali-The Curry Bistro is all set to bringabout a revolution around this worldfamous ‘curry’.

“Different types of curry havetravelled from around the world andevolved over the ages. This is why wedecided to give a little more attentionto the curry by making it the dish infocus at Piali- The Curry Bistro,” saidSiddharth, co-owner of the Bistro barat CP in the heart of New Delhi.

Over centuries, spices and curries

moved across the world. With everypassing place, new ingredients andconcepts were added by the nativesand Piali is setting the platform forfood-lovers to come and try out thesetraditional as well as contemporarydishes.

Designed with the mostcontemporary architecture, woodenfurnishings, an artificial fireplace andincandescent lighting, Piali’s guests-both young and old- will remember itas a cosy dining place for familygatherings and a vibrant youthfulplace for pleasant evenings to bespent after college. The place wouldremind them of the good old timesthey had together and the memorieseach passing moment they make withsome great food.

Piali is a curry bistro and is rightlynamed so. One can choose from over40 varieties of curries from across theworld under one roof. Some of themust-try curries include:

Non-Veg: Daab Chingri (Atraditional Bengali preparation ofprawns cooked in mustard and filledinside a coconut to get a combinedflavour of mustard and coconutcream. Served With Gobindobhogrice, Assamese black sesame curry(curry with simple sesame chutneymade with garlic, chillies and tinydrops of mustard oil. Served withtingmo bread and bamboo alkalinedip. Choice of duck/chicken/pork),Indonesian Muslim curry (chickencooked in coconut flavours, tamarind,potatoes and an aromatic curry paste.Served with jasmine rice and kimchi),Lahori murgh cholley (Lahore's mostfamous dish murgh cholay is utterlytasty dish. It is prepared in chicken,chickpeas with spices. Served withtawa paratha), Burmese Khao Suey(The Burmese khao suey featureslayers of noodles, a vegetable currymade with coconut milk) and the Thaicurry red (a Thai curry dish made fromcurry paste, coconut milk or water,meat, seafood, vegetables or fruit,and herbs. Served with jasmine riceand caramelised pineapple. Choice ofseafood/chicken/ vegetables)

Veg: Jodhpuri gatte ki subzi (gatteki sabji is traditional marwari dish. Thisdish needs basic ingredients like gramflour and curd. Served with bajre kiroti, ghee and lahsun chutney), bhuttamethi malai (very fragrant northIndian gravy recipe made from onion,sweet corn, fenugreek leaves, greenpeas with some spices. Served with

butter naan), Amritsari choley(Amritsari chole is dark coloured spicyand tangy chickpeas curry. Servedwith amritsari kulcha) and dalmakhani (whole black lentil with redkidney beans, butter and cream.Served with butter naan).

The way one goes about placingthe order here is not by choosing themajor carbohydrate first. Yes, hereyou choose the curry first andaccording to the chosen cuisine youare served with rice, roti, bread ornaan as a side dish.

Not to forget, the highly contrivedbar exuberates class in every nookand corner. For spending an eveningwith friends after work, or for a socialgathering with colleagues, the high-end bar serves as an ideal place forgroup cocktails and drinks. The classicand quirky Whisky sour at the bar issomething not to be missed.

“We wanted to give it a classy lookand feel while making it an informaldining place for families andyoungsters alike,” said co-owner MrAshish Gupta.

PLUMBER - THE LOUNGEPlumber, a unique concept casual

dining restaurant, is on every SouthDelhi food-lover’s map now. The new

restaurant in Malviya Nagar is asunique as its name.

“Manholes and pipes always bringabout a negative thought to our mind.With Plumber we decided togive this a completely oppositetwist and glorify them instead,” saidGarima Malhotra, co-owner of theconcept restaurant.

Plumber was the brainchild ofRachit Gupta, Garima Malhotra,Pavneet Suri and Amit Mahana whoare co-owners of the place. Therestaurant serves some of the mostexotic dishes from the Thai andChinese cuisine, along with thesignature tandoori and Mughlaidishes. The menu includes soups,dimsums, variety of veg and non-vegstarters and main course items. Thereare Thai delicacies and sizzlers, riceand noodles, and a choice of desserts.The extensive drinks menu includesmocktails, smoothies, shakes andbeverages apart from hard drinks.

The interior designing of the placewith its chrome and gold look andbrick and mortar old walls is sure toleave you mesmerised. It’s not usualto see manholes and pipes inside arestaurant, and Plumber truly glorifiesthem with its intricate conception anddesign. There are manhole coversadorning the ceiling, plumbing pipes

coming out of the walls and thepartially blue painted floor gives theillusion of you sitting in the middle ofa broken pipe that’s leaking water.Add to it the rustic wooden furnitureand light bulb chandeliers- it’s a regalplace to spend an evening.

“Plumber is designed as theperfect place for a day out withcolleagues, friends or family, eitherfor lazy long hours or for a quick bite.It is a full-fledged experience we areproud to present to our customers,”said Rachit Gupta, the co-owner.

Treat your loved ones to a mealthey will never forget at Plumber.

LANTERNS - KITCHENAND BAR

Located near Rajendra Place Metrostation, this pocket-friendly pub andrestaurant is a must place to visit ifyou are around. Owned by brothersJasneet and Suneet Sahni, the restaurant inspired from an Irishconcept serves delicious Indian,Oriental, Mexican, European andfusion food. The place is very popularamong music lovers owing to the liveperformances given here by well-known artists every now and then.The restaurant has distinctive styledbar. Furthermore, it has recently gonethrough renovation and also revisedits entire menu. And yes, not to forgetto mention the beauty of this simpleyet elegant place is their terracegarden. The greenery and appealingambience of the terrace makes it aperfect place to unwind your busyday. We

Californian chicken wings,Lantern kitchen & bar.

Mixed veg Thai red curry, plumber.

THE INTERIOR DESIGNINGOF THE PLACE WITH ITS

CHROME AND GOLDLOOK AND BRICK AND

MORTAR OLD WALLS ISSURE TO LEAVE YOU

MESMERISED. IT’S NOTUSUAL TO SEE

MANHOLES AND PIPESINSIDE A RESTAURANT,AND PLUMBER TRULY

GLORIFIES THEM.

The sun has been aroundsince life has existed.The co-founder of

MYSUN, Divyanshu Sachdev,is a young entrepreneur witha vision to solarise thecountry and change thedynamics of the solarindustry.

She has an experience ofover seven years and hasworked with the solar energyand investment bankingdomains. During her tenure inthe solar industry, sheidentified the gaps that theindustry faces and that theneed of the hour is to changethe current situation for thebetter.

Extracts from a chit chatwith Divyanshu Sachdev:

The solar sector seems to be aman’s domain and has rarely seenprominent female entrepreneurs inthis field. What made you choose thissector to start a business?

Not just solar, if you want togeneralise, the power sector as a fieldhas had more male participants, butso has tech in the past. It did not stopthe likes of Marissa Mayer being aninspirational figure. Therefore, I feelthat this is a tremendous opportunityfor me to hopefully set the rightexample. I have been in the solarindustry for the last eight years andneedless to say that I have developeda lot of affinity towards it. I stronglybelieve that solar offers a very viablesolution to the “Power for All”initiative that our country sodesperately needs. Other thanbringing power to the home, office orindustry, solar would also help uscombat the well-known effects of

climatic change that we are all wellversed in.

Today, the cost of solar hassubstantially come down, to theextent that for most of the energyconsumers across India, solar power ismuch cheaper than the electricitytariff we pay to the DISCOMs. In spiteof this cost advantage, solar is notgetting its due space amongstconsumers. And that’s where Irealised that there is a lot of scope forinnovation and a different approachto the solar sector. With governmentcontinuing a strong push, the solarsector has definitely a massivepotential and will witness a hugegrowth in the coming years.

How is entrepreneurship andworking women important for India asa whole?

Entrepreneurs are rightly thoughtof to be great national assets as they

122 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

AN ALTERNATIVE SOURCE OF ENERGYOur aim is to ʻSolarize Indiaʼ. By Suman Bajpai

SOLARPOWER Divyanshu Sachdev

change the way we live and work.Therefore, entrepreneurship will bean important cornerstone that has amajor contribution to the economicgrowth of any country including India.Not just this, but entrepreneurshipcreates new businesses, more jobsand more importantly is a terrificlaunch pad in the realisation andimplementation of disruptive ideas.While the idea initially may soundcomplicated, the end goal of anentrepreneur is to always make life ofeveryone simpler and try toeffectively solve a problem,sometimes solve a problem that wedid not even know existed.

How will MYSUN create an impactin the country’s energy utilisation?

Our foremost challenge is toensure there is the right amount ofawareness about, around the variousefforts that government is taking topush solar so that at the end of theday, the customer gets the best dealand makes maximum of savings.Buying solar can look a tedious andlong process. That is why we assureeveryone who comes on our platform,we will hold their hand and make theprocess not just simpler but alsotransparent. Our association does notjust end with the customer choosingthe right installer and lending partner,we also assist him or her all the waythrough the 25-year lifetime of thesystem. Therefore, while we help yougo solar and install it, we continue toassist you so that you never have toface an issue alone. We stronglybelieve that by doing this we will beable to make an industrial product likesolar become a consumer product –and, trust me, we are already seeingthe change happen for the good.

The country lacks awareness andunderstanding of solar energy. Howdo you plan to tap that?

When something is new, generally,two things happen: there is a lot ofcuriosity and then there are a lot ofmyths and incomplete information.The only way to tackle both theseproblems is to create awareness. It isindeed the biggest challenge that thesolar industry faces today. Both the

state and Central governments havebeen making efforts towardsspreading awareness around solar,but the effort is yet to become a massmovement. This is where we aim totake up a lot of creative initiatives tomake people aware about solar andits benefits while making the subjectreally interesting. It is why we haveworked so hard to develop tools likethe solar calculator, which will run onextremely complicated algorithmsthat, on the face of it, are reallysimple and easy to understand andtell people about how they are betteroff investing in solar compared tofixed deposits, mutual funds, etc.

We engage with our users bothonline and offline in order to givethem the message, but not in theboring shades of blue and yellow.Take our recently started#CaptureMySun campaign, where wechallenged the photographers tocapture the beauty of the sun in theircameras and share with their friendsthe power and might of the sun onsocial media. Our marketing teamputs in tons of effort to reach out topeople with very personalised effortsand share with them how solar canchange their lives.

What difficulties did you face whilemaking your dream a reality?

The old adage, ‘Once begun is halfdone’ holds all the more true forentrepreneurship. For me, startingwas the most difficult decision since itmeant taking a plunge into the

unknown. But I was thoroughlyblessed to have like-minded founders,who believed in the same goal and alot of support from my family. Thejourney since then has been full of upsand downs, but when I look backtoday, I feel pride in the distance thatwe have covered since weconceptualised the idea and feelsatisfaction in seeing that we arecontinuing to strive towards our goalwith single-minded focus. Along theway, we have been joined by teammembers who too share the samegoal as ours, which is to ‘Solarize India’.

Apart from a focused entre preneur,what are your areas of interest?

It’s always challenging finding timefor yourself in the crazy startup, hyperconnected world that we are in, butwe encourage everyone in the teamto find some corner in a room wherethey can get away. For me personally,reading is that corner. Be it fiction ornon-fiction, I love books. I like to thinkI am a fitness freak. My day does notquite finish until I have spent sometime completing my laps in the pool. Ifnot the pool, then I definitely turntowards yoga to keep myself fit.

What advice would you give towomen who want to start a business?

At the risk of stating the obvious,but irrespective of whether a man or awoman, my advice would be to them,‘Just go for it’. I know it has been saidplenty of times and is rather obvious,but it is always the first plunge thatscares us the most. From myexperience, I can vouch that thejourney will be exciting, enthrallingand one unlike any other you will take.It’s a roller-coaster that makes youreally love the ride. Yes, it comes withits set of challenges and sometimesnot so expected results, but, at theend of the day, nothing can surpassthe satisfaction of having createdsomething that can impact the life ofso many people in a positive way. We

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 123

WE ENGAGE WITH OURUSERS BOTH ONLINE ANDOFFLINE IN ORDER TO GIVETHEM THE MESSAGE, BUTNOT IN THE BORINGSHADES OF BLUE ANDYELLOW. TAKE OUR RECENTLYSTARTED #CAPTUREMYSUNCAMPAIGN, WHERE WECHALLENGED THEPHOTOGRAPHERS TOCAPTURE THE BEAUTY OFTHE SUN.

The person who makes a success ofliving is the one who see his goal

steadily and aims for it unswervingly.That is dedication.

Ramu, the head peonin the office of thedistrict collector,

couldn’t believe his eyeswhen along with thehousehold goods that wereunloaded from the truck, hefound a big cage in whichabout 15 to 20 chickens andhens were locked together,cackling. The moment helifted the cover he was takenaback by the fluttering of thebirds. For a moment he wasgreatly scared, then realisedit was the noise made by the

birds shut in the cage. ‘Does sahib carry chickens

and hens too wherever hegoes?’ he asked himself.Then he asked the labourersto unload the cage from thetruck. They together liftedthe cage and took it onto theverandah of the collector’sbungalow.

A week ago the newcollector had joined dutyafter his transfer. At the firstsight one would neverbelieve him to be a person ofsuch a high designation. He

looked simple, dressed inwhite kurta and pajama,wearing Kolhapuri chappals.It was heard that he camefrom the rural area of aNorth-East state of India andhis forefathers were farmworkers. He was the first ofhis generation to achievesuch a dignified governmentpost of an IAS officer. He hada simple wife and two verysmall kids of hardly one ortwo years.

The household goods thatwere brought by truck to hisbungalow hardly matchedwith his post. The furniturewas old and outdated. Eventhe television set anddesktop computer were ofpast generation. However,what had utterly shockedRamu was that his masterwas raising chickens andhens and therefore there wasno doubt that he was a non-vegetarian.

Moreover, Ramu hadbeen serving in the sameoffice for the last 20 yearsand had the experience ofworking with at least 10 IAS

And where it was found. By Ramcharan Ramnath Harshana

The Hunt ForAn Egg

ShortStory

Even in h is o f f ice,he behaved in amiser ly way andnever o f feredanybody tea orco ld dr inks and i fsomeone of feredhim he nevershown thecourtesy to pay. I tseemed that hewas dr iven bygreed for moneyand power.

Ramu,the head peon inthe office of the

district collector,couldn’t believe hiseyes when he found

a big case...

officers, but none was foundto be queer and eccentric.

He looked fastidious andalways wore a serious lookon his long thin face. He wasstrict and always treated hisstaff members with an air ofsuperiority. Even in his office,he behaved in a miserly wayand never offered anybodytea or cold drinks and ifsomeone offered him henever shown the courtesy topay. It seemed that he wasdriven by greed for moneyand power.

That evening Ramu withthe help of other

labourers set up the hens’cage in the backyard of thebungalow. The sahib himselftook an interest in seeingthat the hen-coop wasproperly placed in order tomake sure that the fowlswere comfortable. Thetrouble was that thebackyard was overgrownwith grass and the dense wildplants propped up along thewall. The sweepers swept theopen ground and cleaned itproperly. However, thebackyard still looked darkand thick. Later on, the sahibinstructed Ramu to look afterthe hen-house himselfbesides maintaining thebungalow.

Ramu, as a keeper of thecollector’s bungalow, didn’tmind doing routine servicesfor his master and his familymembers. But the job oflooking after chickens andhens was a tough task forhim. He had no experienceof even touching a hen andhad never collected eggsand had hardly swept theground where the hens laideggs. He dreaded thedisgusting task he wasassigned. The day he wasasked to look after the hen-house, he pleaded with thesahib that he had no

experience of raisingchickens and hens and evenexpressed his horror of beinginfected with the deadlydisease of bird-flu.Nevertheless, his sahibforced him to do it saying,“There’s nothing difficult init. You just take a round inthe backyard of thebungalow and collect eggslaid by each hen. They arejust 11. Then catch hold ofeach one and shut them backin the coop.”

Every morning, hismaster would have anomelette and milk followedby tea for breakfast. For thatRamu had to reach hisbungalow early in themorning around six. Hewould walk to the hen-housein the backyard and releaseall the 11 hens. The henswould run here and there andfinding a safe place awayfrom the sight of him, wouldlay an egg. He would have towatch where each hendisappeared and when it laidan egg. For more than anhour he would be surroundedby hens chuckling noisilyaround him. Then he wouldstand up to collect the eggs.It should be exactly 11, nomore, no less. He would handover all the 11 collected eggsto his sahib who would passthem over to the cook in thekitchen. His next task waseven tougher.

He would again go backinto the backyard and

catch all the hens andchickens one by one to lockthem back in their cage. Bythe time he had imprisonedall the birds safely in thecage, he would be tired andexhausted. The worst hatefultask was to count each andevery bird in the cage toconfirm that they were 11hens and eight chickensexactly.

It all went all right untilthe day, when aftercollecting all the eggs, Ramucounted the eggs and foundone missing. Instead of 11they were only 10. Hecounted and recounted till hewas sure. He felt worried.Where would have one egggone? Was it that one henwouldn’t have laid an eggtoday? He knew that thesahib was very particularabout 11 eggs ready to becooked every day. No lessthan that.

“Sorry, sahib, one egg ismissing, “ he apologised asthe sahib started countingthe eggs.

“Go and find it. It will bethere only,” the sahib spokein an emphatic tone.

Ramu walked to thebackyard and again lookedfor an egg at each and everycorner of the yard. He evenglanced below the darkspace under the leafy plants.He penetrated his sight deepinside the dark area belowthe dry plants too.Unfortunately, even aftersearching for more than halfan hour, he found none. Hereported it to his sahib, butthe man wasn’t convinced.

“Where would an egg belost ? It should be there in thebackyard only,“ he spokesuspiciously. “ The hen would

never have gone out. Thewall around it is too high. Callother boys and search it outanyway,“ he ordered Ramuangrily.

Ramu disappointedlyrestarted the search for theegg.

Soon, four to five peonsof the office joined him. Theyall made an intensive searchfor the egg, leaving no spaceunsearched. They eventhrew torchlight under thedark space of the leafy plantsand through the wild grass.They too couldn’t find themissing egg.

An hour later, they allstood before their sahib,

sorry and helpless.“Where would have an

egg gone?“ the sahib lookedpuzzled. He thought for awhile.

“Sahib, should I buy oneegg from the market?“asked Ramu with hesitation.

“No…never. I never eatthe egg brought from themarket,“ the sahib lookedstubborn.

“Let me try. Come on. “So saying, the sahibbeckoned all to follow himand walked to the backyard.He walked along the fence ofplants and checked all thesoft branches of green anddry leaves. He even bent tolook through dark spacesunder the plants. Ramu andother peons watched himcuriously and pitifully. Theyhad never witnessed any oftheir previous sahibs huntingfor an egg in the backyard ofthe bungalow. The sahibinspected all around thefence and when he lookedthrough the corner acrossthe wall, he gave out atriumphant cry,“ See – thereit is!”

Ramu and all the boys ranto the sahib and bent on theirknees to look in the direction

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 125

I t a l l went a l l r ightunt i l the day, whenafter co l lect ing a l lthe eggs, Ramucounted the eggsand found onemiss ing. Instead of11 they were on ly10. He countedand recounted t i l lhe was sure.

of the focus of the torchlight. “See... there. Close to the

wall ... in the darkness is thebig white egg,“ the sahibjoyously spoke.

Ramu looked at the brightarea close to the wallcarefully.

“But... sir… there is asnake ... too. See! “

“What! Snake? Never!“the sahib too uttereddisgustedly and moved thefocus of the torchlight a littleaway from the egg.

“My goodness!“ he yelleddisappointedly. Curledaround the white egg was ablack cobra, thick as a ropeunmoved as if it wasprotecting the egg.

“Fetch me a stick, quickly.I will drive away the snake, “he ordered Ramu.

Ramu rushed inside thebungalow and within aminute brought a long stick

and handed it over to thesahib.

The sahib pushed thestick deep into the darkspace close to the snake.

“Be careful, sir,“ Ramuwarned him.

“Okay…oh giant snake,please go away…leave theegg there and then,“mumbling to himself, thesahib moved the stick withone hand and shone the

torch with the other hand.He intended to threaten thesnake so that it might slipaway, leaving the egg there.

Ramu and the boyswatched him with fear andsurprise. Their sahib was inaction for saving the egg ofhis mini-poultry farm. Hewas not in any case going togive up. He was fighting arare battle with a cobra.

“No…No...No… “Suddenly, the sahibscreamed so loudly thatRamu and the boys frozewith fear and turned dumb.Ramu thought that the snakemight have attacked hissahib.

“Turn away from there,sahib!“ he choked out.

Within seconds the sahibpulled back his stick and thetorch too fell off his hand. Hestood up disappointedly,giving up the effort.

“See…see… what thesnake is doing? “ he askedRamu and the boys to findout themselves.

Ramu and the boys againwent down on their kneesand picking up the torch,Ramu shone it in the darkcorner and to their utter aweand horror they sawsomething they had neverseen in their lives.

The snake had gripped anegg in its jaws and it was

gradually gulping it down.The next moment the eggvanished into the snake’smouth.

Ramu and the boys stoodup to see their sahibdisappearing into hisbungalow quite unhappily.

The sahibinspected a l laround the fenceand when helooked throughthe corner acrossthe wal l , he gaveout a tr iumphantcry,“ See – therei t i s !”

We

I take it as a man's duty torestrain himself.

dp-23

Typewritten Text

127

128 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

TREADMILLStylist: Sushmita Dey & Madhuri SinghMake-up artist: Yojna Attri and TeamPhotography by: Sumit Kha

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A STORY INPOOR TASTE

Innocent men haveundesirably been takenfor a ride, with high-handedness, througharticle 5 Things Men

Cannot Live Without by Vibhor Sharmaas well as Chaganti Nagaraja Rao’sShort Story: The Niggardly Husband andPhilanthropist Wife (Woman’s Era: AprilII, 2017). Amongst the five thingsenumerated in the article, it’s only two,women and food, is the correct answerwhereas the other three (cars,shoes/watches and fashion) areresorted to only by unduly aggressivemaniac men.

The story about niggardly husbandseems weird. After all, which husbandthrashes wife (that too employed one)with stick for merely spending `5/ asbus fare? Please don’t translate it onthe meaningful prestigious pages ofWoman’s Era. The story contents arenot conveniently digestible. Men arerather more generous and philan -thropic than their wives. Life ispositively enjoyable, hence, need is offilling it optimistically.

– MPS Chadha, Mohali.

NEED OF THE HOURRefer to “He she we”

(WE April II 2017). Itneeds societal change tobegin at home. Theawareness of equality

of a boy and a girl and torespect girls at home is a must for bettermen-women relationship in life. Also,programmes on national front-in cities,town and villages – through media-print,e-media-TV, internet, posters,

Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017 129

advertisements on war footing-depicting therein equality of gender andrespect for women is the need of thehour. Every citizen must also attendsuch programmes.

Refer to the editorial BJP PowerGame (WE April I 2017). The BJP isacting like a dictator and crossing itslimits of powers in the name of so-called national interests, else why werenon-finance and non-taxation amend -ments included in the Money Bill and avariety of legislative changes beyondtax pushed in under the Finance Bill toget them passed in the Lok Sabha? Thiswas to avoid the Rajya Sabha wherethe BJP does not have enough

strength. Generally, the sanctity of lawspassed by Parliament is being watereddown because Bills/laws are beingpassed without sufficient or anydebate. The BJP is no better than theCongress on such matters.

Refer to Looking Good Underneath isImportant Too (WE April I 2017).Recently a women’s college play inDelhi was at the centre of acontroversy for using the two wordsthat denote women's under wear. It is afact that in society women arechanging on selection of bras (thoughsuch a percentage is very low). Womenamong themselves now openly talkabout it. Rightly advertise ments in

STARTUP CULTUREHAS AN EDGE

Apropos theeditorial Time to BeatSexism (WE: May-I).The novel and pros -perous startups

culture as initiated by the Modigovernment during its 3 year term inoffice has been a shot in the arm for anumber of budding enterpreneurs toestablish business firms and generateemployment potential to a vastsection of the people.

Since the corporate culture is notworkers-friendly in view of lesseropportunities and benefits given tothe employees, startups culture onthe other hand has an edge over theformer in terms of providing freedomand security and also formidableinvolvement in financial and businessmatters for the employees who are onthe whole kept in a soft corner. Thereare many BJP-ruled and non-BJP ruledstates in the country that have startedtaking startups seriously in the lasttwo years. With media attention andbillions flowing as funding for thepromotion of startups in India, aftermany a twist and turn - e-commercemajors which include Flipkart,Snapdeal, and Amazon got a shot inthe arm due to permitted 100% FDI foronline marketplaces. Modi who isconsidered as a man of vision, shoulddo his bit to bring in more investmentsthrough a process of relaxedregulations rather than talking and

travelling abroad to advertise Indiawhich practice per se is not optimallyeffective.

This funding process can beregulated through the help of NitiAayog, a replacement of PlanningCommission under Modi adminis -tration which is transparent andreliable without showing up any kindof flaws. In this state of highlyflourishing startup culture which ispossible under the able dispensationModi, a focus towards securing theinterests and welfare of the womenenterpreneurs at workplaces shouldalso be directed by the governmentand women should be protectedagainst harassment being meted outto them. Although, women harass -ment especially in startups is a worldphenomenon, a situation with regardto woman's working conditions in theIndian startups should not besynonymous with those of othernations, as Modi's newly initiatedconcept of startups cannot make thewomen vulnerable as the main goal ofestablishing the same is to improvisethe economic welfare of the enter -preneurs besides creating a numberof employment opportunities to manyincluding women.

It is necessary to control andcondemn the sexist tendenciesamong the employees of the startupswhich are basically replete with thequalities of greater protection anddiscipline when compared to otherorganisations.

– Indu Sekhar, Hyderabad.

The man of the moment is highly

competitive, difficult to

comprehend, ruthlessly

ambitious, unforgiving, passionate

about everything in life, and not the

least apologetic about any of these.

He is successful in juggling both

professional and personal lives with

effortless aplomb and proudly carries

this ability as a badge of honour upon

his chest. When he wants something,

he wants it bad, and now! So, what

exactly are the top five things that a

man simply cannot live without? Fret

not, to know it!

WomenA man, whether in his late teens or

early 60s, irrefutably enjoys the

company and companionship of a

woman. Be it a girlfriend or a wife, a

man at any stage of life feels innately

incomplete until and unless he has a

woman by his side. Men these days

are very particular of the woman they

want in their lives. Be it in the form of

a prospective wife or a girlfriend with

whom they wish to have a

things 5 Men can’t

live withoutAnd go for.

By Vibhor Sharma

relationship, men are very demanding

and astute when they are in a position

of deciding upon which lady suits their

requirements. Be it tall, slim and

dusky, or petite, peachy, and just

about perfect, today’s man is hell-

bent on getting the woman of his

dreams, to be an integral part of his

reality! Most women feel that all men

are “dogs”, “unfaithful liars” and

“commitment-phobic”. Well, this

might be true to some extent, but

what one shouldn’t forget is that,

once a man sets his heart upon a

woman, he’ll travel to the moon and

back, if that is what it takes for the

woman he loves to be a part of his life

and forever by his side!

CarsSince time immemorial, or to

sound more practical, since the

advent of automotive engineering,

men around the world seem to have a

passion for cars which they just can’t

get rid of! From early childhood itself

young boys develop an avid interest

and somewhat of an obsession for

cars, and this obsession turns their

dream machines into reality when, all

grown up. Men spend their life’s

savings upon purchasing the car or

cars, about which they’ve always

dreamt of! So, be it a sturdy

hatchback in pearl white, a sleek, and

glamorous midnight black sedan, or a

monstrous tan SUV, men these days

just can’t get enough of cars!

Moreover, with the manic speed at

which Indian and international car

manufacturers, both regular

companies as also high-end luxury

ones, are churning out new and

updated models of cars in irresistible

shades, features, and prices, the men

of today are spoilt for choice and feel

like a kid in a candy store whence they

step into a car showroom or pick up

an exciting automotive publication

that offers them the world of cars. An

important factor for this strong bond

W

write to: editor@womansera.com

EDITORIAL

Startups are supposed to be an integral part of Prime

Minister Narendra Modi’s dream mission Make In

India as they provide the budding entrepreneurs a

plalform to show their creativity and create business. But

over the past few months, women entrepreneurs and

startup employees have been speaking out on social media

about sexual harassment in the startup world. Sexual

harassment and gendar discrimination at workplace is not

unheard of in corporate India but with startups, lack of

awareness of the law, an informal work culture and poor

gender diversity make the matter all the more complicated.

Recently, a renowned woman author and another

woman director made allegations of improper conduct

against investor and founder of a startup funding firm.

Earlier, two women entrepreneurs shared conversations

with the same founder that had made them uncomfortable.

Allegations against two more startup founders followed

soon. Besides, there have been reports of a sexist work

culture at global startups like Uber.

In India where a law on workplace sexual harassment

came into force only in 2013, more than 15 years after the

Supreme Court formulated guidelines on the same, most

employers are unaware about its mandatory compliance.

Startups often say they do not have the bandwith or

financial means to put in place mechanism to protect

women employees. But that is not an excuse. The vision of

the law is not to have a policy or a committee to deal with a

complaint. The idea is to prevent a complaint in the first

place. When it comes to policies, most startups wing it. Some

of the basic stuff – as simple as leave policy – does not exist

in most startups, where everything is driven by passion.

There are women employees volunteering to skip maternity

leave and work from home. With such passion and skeletal

structure, startups are trying to disrupt large players. That

requires overtime – both mentally and workwise. In their

eagerness to dislodge large players startups forget that

training and sensitisation is mandated by law and an annual

report is to be filed, irrespective of the form of organisation

or the size of the workforce.

It is also a fact that startups are not creating any tangible

business. They are mostly acting as mediators and reaping

huge profits from the businesses already created by the

really enterprising people. This illusion has to be removed if

startups really want to become a part of the larger Make In

India mission.

TIME TO BEAT SEXISM

BYEBYE RED LIGHT

India boasts to be the largest democracy in the world.

But efforts from the government seem to be lacking to

protect the democratic values. Public is said to be the

king in a democracy, but in India vehicles with red beacons

differentiated VIPs (very important persons) from the

common public. Over the years this VIP culture took such

firm roots that, at times, everyone began to get red

beacons fitted on his or her vehicle. The only condition was

that such a person should be a relative of a high-level

politician or some office bearer in a big political party. Now,

even workers of small or local political parties too could

be seen moving around in vehicles bearing red beacons.

Red light has become an icon of VIP culture in our

country. Though in a democratic and even in socialist system

persons occupying high positions have some privileges and

nobody questions them. Such privileges enable them to

serve the society better. But starting from 70s, security of

ministers and political leaders began increasing and red light

began to be used amending certain laws. Obviously, it was a

glaring example of misuse of power and so many people,

who were otherwise not entitled or authorised, also began

to move around in red-light vehicles. Overtime, red light

became a means to flaunt haughty mentality and status. A

person with red light vehicle began to assume him- or herself

a cut above the rest.

Till recently, red light incited fear among the

commoners. With fear anger also began to take roots in

their minds against the red light. In December 2013, the

Supreme Court expressed dissatisfaction over unnecessary

display of power through red light and had instructed the

government to ban its indiscriminate uses barring some

highest constitutional positions like Prime Minister,

President, Lok Sabha Speaker and Chief Justice.

But the political will to do away with red light was shown

first of all by Aam Aadmi Party government of Delhi in 2014.

Last month, Punjab’s chief minister Capt Amarinder Singh

banned use of red light on government vehicles. UP chief

minister Yogi Adityanath also took similar decision. And now,

the Central Government has decided to ban its use on all

government vehicles. Now, not even Prime Minister,

President and the Chief Justice will use red light on their

vehicles. The government is planning to amend Motor Vehicle

Act to allow only the ambulances and fire engines to have

blue beacons. Political message of this decision is clear.

Government wants to look more pro-people and show

indifference to VIP culture. PM Modi also says that ‘every

person is a VIP’. But why should this caring intention remain

confined to red light alone? Even the security of VVIPs is a

costly affair. Government must take an initiative on this also

for the larger benefit of the public. Thousands of police posts

are vacant all over the country and most of the remaining

police force has been deployed in VIP security. Its impact on

law and order situation is a matter of guess. It is hoped, the

government would look into this aspect as well.

Woman’s Era ● May (First) 2017

HeSheWe

Discriminatory attitude towards men and

women has existed for ages and it affects the

f both the genders. Trying to break the

choose to be.

Print media are on an increasing trend.Foreign brands have entered Indianlingerie market. Indian brands arecompeting with foreign brands. Indianwomen analysis the availability of rightsize of her bra and cup size too-consider rightly if the bra she is buyingis worth its price as to its comfortability and durability too. It isinteresting to know that British menare first in Europe in buying the rightlingerie for their leading ladies. Indianmen on this tribe are negligible but areslowly on an increasing trend. In spite

130 Woman’s Era ● May (Second) 2017

of modern thinking on lingerie it isstrange that some (many?) people arenot yet accustomed to use bra andpanty as freely as men’s underwearand banian–chaddi and ganji andstrangely fashion TV was banned for ashort time just because of its lingerieshow (mid night one) by thegovernment. And strangely some DTHservice provider has no Fashion TVchannel at all. Is it not funny?

– Mahesh Kumar, New Delhi.

A FINE ARTICLEThe article Strained

Relation – SweetSolutions (Woman’s EraApril II 2017) is fine. Thewriter presented goodsolutions for one prime

burning issue. His simple and plausiblesuggestions to improve cordialrelations among family members arehighly appreciable. I know severalparents of my friends who are veryrude towards their children for trivialreasons. As said by the writer in normalmajority parents do not hesitate toshow their anger instantly towardstheir children as the latter are whollydependent on them. With smallmindset such parents do not botherabout the impact on their futurerelations with the children.

The expression “Both children andparents are dependent on each otherat one stage of their lives” is factual.Children wants the appreciation andco-operation of their parents alwaysand do not digest any impolitenesstowards them without valid reason. Iwould like to conclude by assuring thatif the parents inculcate the qualitieswhatever they wanted from theirparents in their childhood which maybe sufficient to avoid painful final life.

– Sai Thanmai Kondapi,Andhra Pradesh.

AN INTELLECTUALMAGAZINE

Congratulations foryour excellent issue ofMarch II. Each andevery piece of article istimely and very well

written. Reading such pieces one mustgain confidence, assertiveness,knowledge and passion to achievesuccess.

Among all the articles, "TrueCompatibility Between Husband andWife by Padmini Singh is highlymeaningful and need of the hour. Intoday's stressful and hectic life, lot ofmarriages fail because of lack ofunderstanding and maturity. Thesuggestions given by writer are verymuch helpful to lead a successful andhealthy married life. I do completelyagree with the writer as she puts basicrequirements of successful marriageare adjustment, compromise,tolerance, patience, generosity andmaturity.

At this time, it is the duty of bothhusband and wife to be the pillar ofstrength for each other instead ofplaying blame game or finding eachother's faults. No one can deny the factthat both husband and wife are twowheels of vehicle called "Sansar". Andwithout each other's support andbalance this vehicle does not movesmoothly. One has to admit this fact.

I am a teacher by profession and aregular reader of this intellectualmagazine. I admire, appreciate andenjoy every aspect of the magazine(from editorial to as you say).

– Sujata Reddy, Bengaluru.

AS YOU SAY

E-3 Jhandewala Estate,New Delhi-110055.Womansera.com

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Mobile:

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invites readers’ opinions andreactions onarticles, short storiesand features publishedin Woman’s Era. The bestletter will be given a prize of `500. Address your letters byE-mail to: letters@womansera.comor by post to:

The prize is awarded to:Indu Sekhar, Hyderabad.

WOMAN'S ERA

True Compatibilitybetween

Husbandand

Wife

Doesn’t exist, so

shrug off small

conflicts.

By Padmini Singh

Monica and Manish married after a long courtship of over two years when they got

convinced about love and the feeling that they were meant for each other and must

marry. But within two years of marriage their dreams were shattered as they found

that their habits, likings, attitudes, approach to life and views differed so much that

every day they started arguing, fighting and hurling abuses and curses on each other.

They themselves were surprised how come they missed noticing each other’s

shortcomings during their courtship period. Both men and women in their formal

meetings are apt to hide many weaknesses of theirs that are revealed only when they

stay together after marriage.

Happiness grows directly in proportion to your acceptance of the situation and in

inverse proportion to your expectations. That irreconcilable differences are normal,

and you just have to come to terms with them, not try to resolve the unresolvable. At

some level, that should have been obvious.

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