TheArtofMentalTraining
ByDCGonzalezwithAliceMcVeigh
InspiredbyTrueEvents
Copyright©2006DanielC.Gonzalez.AllRightsReserved.
GonzoLaneMedia
TABLEOFCONTENT
IntroductionANoteFromDCGonzChapter1:TheThree-MinuteLessonChapter2:OnAttitudeChapter3:GainingtheMentalEdgeChapter4:LearningtoFlyNavyJetsChapter5:TheImportanceofSelf-BeliefChapter6:ImagineeringandSelf-ConfidenceChapter7:TheCriticalThreeChapter8:UnderstandingtheMentalWarriorChapter9:ControllingAngerChapter10:ShotsFiredChapter11:OnLosingChapter12:FearofFailureChapter13:ControllingFearChapter14:OnPerformanceChokingChapter15:CoolUnderPressureChapter16:TheInternalCriticChapter17:TooIntenseChapter18:YourDreamChapter19:OnGoalsChapter20:DotheWorkChapter21:GettingThereChapter22:ChangingYourMentalStateChapter23:ThePresentChapter24:PreparetoWinChapter25:WalkOn
Introduction
IneversawLeo-taiangry,butitwashewhohadtaughtmehowtousetheangerenergyshoulditeverarise—andhowtoeffectivelyredirectit.
“Ratherthanlosecontrol,”hewouldtellme,“youmustlearnhowtousetheenergy.Youmustbecomelikeasmilingassassin,Danielsan,andchanneltheenergy;letithelpyourresolve.Ifyoulosecontroltotheenergy,youropponentwillwin.”
Itwastheuseofthisconceptthatledtothe“defeat”ofseveralofmyopponentswithoutmyevenhavingtofight.Sometimesnowordsarerequired,onlyeyecontact.Withthataloneoneismarkedoutaspredator,theotherasprey:onetheassassin,theotherthemark."Itisatthissubconsciouslevelofcommunication,"Leo-taioncetoldme,"thatonewinsafightwithouthavingtofight..."
Justaseasilyasheslippedintomylife,Leo-taislippedoutofit,oncehehadtaughtmeallthathe’dmeanttoteachme.Despiteallmybestefforts—andallmyresourcesasaFederalAgent—Icouldlocatenofinancialtrail,nopropertytrail,noaddress,nofamily,andnocontactpoint...hehadgone,leavingnothingbehindbeyondhisteachings;andmymemoryofthathalf-smileheusedtogivemewhenImanagedtosurprisehim.
ThelastthatIheardofLeo-taiwasmany,many,yearsago,second-hand,fromsourcesthatIdidn’tfeelIcouldtrust.Untilrecently,ataninvitationfunctioninNewYorkCity,Imetanelegantelderlylady,anIrishpsychic.Internationallyrecognizedandrespectedinherfield,shehadalsowrittenseveralbooksandwascurrentlyonaspeakingtourwhenourpathshappenedtocross.
“Youareateacher,”shesaidthemomentwemet,“Isensemanystudentsaroundyou.”
Ismiled,butgavehernothingneitherasconfirmationnordenial;yetshecontinued:“I’mgettingaveryclearmessagefromsomeonewhohascrossedoverandwhowantstotellyousomething.Hesaysthatyouwerefriendsnotonlyinthislifebutalsoasgreatwarriorsinanotherlifetime.Hewantsmetoletyouknowthatheiswithyouwhenyouteach.”
“Oh,really?”Isaid,usingthetoneofaseasonedFederalAgentwhodoesn’tbelieveasinglewordaninformantistellinghim.
“Yes,really.”Shereplied,ratherruffledbymyskepticism.“HesayshisnameisLeo-tai.”
“DidyousayLeo-tai?”Iaskedalittleshaken,takenaback.
“Yes,Leo-tai,”sherepeated,lookingawayslightlyasiflisteningorsearchingforadistantmemory.Thensheturnedbacktomewithsuddencertainty.
“Heisaveryoldsoul,youknow,agreatmasteroftheFarEast.Butpleasetellme,howisitthatyoucametoknowthisteacherandwhatisitthatyouteach?”
ButIcouldhardlyanswer...forknowingthatmyoldfriendwasdead.
ANoteFromDCGonz
WelcometotheArtofMentalTraining.
SportsMentalTraininghasbeencalledtheScienceofSuccess.Butmakenomistake.Ifyouimaginethatthelessonshereapplyonlytosportsandathletesyou’dbewrong.Forit’stheEverydayWarrior,fromallwalksoflife,andalltypesofscenarios,thatstandstobenefitimmenselyfromtheknowledgeandtechniquesthatlieahead.Nomatterwhatyoudo,orwhateverchallengesyouface,TheArtofMentalTrainingcanhelptakeyoutoanotherlevelofperformance,achievement,andpersonalsuccess.
Anytimethatyouarrivetoengage;event-energygetsmixedinwithwhateverisgoingoninsideyourheadatthetime.It’stheemotionsandfeelingsthatthismixtureproducesthatultimatelyendupaffectinghowwellweperform.
If,forexample,undesiredemotionslikenervousness,anger,orfear,happentosurfaceasaresultofthismixture,theWarrior/Championmusthavetherightknowledge,tools,andtechniquesathisdisposalsothathecanusethemtoensurethathisperformancedoesnotsuffer.
It’swhatchampionsknowhowtodowell—andit’ssomethingthateveryonecanlearnhowtodo.Butit’sonlythosewhosetouttolearnandpracticeperformancementaltrainingtechniquesthatgainallthebenefitsandachievethehighestlevelofresults.
Thebetteryourself-belief,internalself-talk,attitude,focus,andmentalclimatearegoingintoanevent,thebetteryoursituationwillbewhentheevent-energyispumpingthroughyou.
ByunderstandingwhattoshootforintermsoftheIdealMentalClimate,andhavingbeengiventheknowledge,tools,andtechniquesrequiredtoachieveit,theWarrior/Championisabletoempowerallaspectsofhisperformance.
Sojustforstarters...understandthis:
Whateverisgoingoninsideyourheadhaseverythingtodowithhowwellyouendupperforming.
Chapter1:TheThree-MinuteLesson
Asthemental-edgetrainerforuniversityathletics,itwaseasyformetospotwhichathleteswantedthementaltrainingandwhichathletesdidn’tcare.Thisparticularkidwasoneofthosewhojustwasn’tinterested.Whiletheotherswerelisteningandthinking,heyawnedandadmiredhisbiceps.Whiletheotherstudentsraisedquestionsorprovokeddiscussions,hewasonlyconcernedwiththephysicalaspectsofhissport:wrestling.Onlyafreshman,hewasenteringthebigleaguesnow—competingatNCAAlevelforthefirsttime—butthatdidn’tseemtoworryhimduringoursessions.
Whenitcametothecrunch,however,thepressureprovedtobejusttoomuch.Justafewminutesbeforehisfirstmatchatthislevel,herushedovertome,distraughtanddesperate,andstartedbeggingformentaltraininghelponthespot.He’djustlearnedthathe’ddrawnthetop-seededwrestlerinthetournament,aseasonedsenioraccustomedtoannihilatingopponentswithcomparativeease.Aschancewouldhaveit,myunbelieverwasabouttolearnavaluablelesson.
IlookedathimandIcouldn’thelpthinking:whataninterestingopportunity.Thiskidisreallyscared;he’sinacompletelydisempoweredstate.Clearly,he’snotreadytocompeteatanywherenearthelevelofhistruepotential.ArealmentalmessstoodinfrontofmeaskingifIcouldhelphim,while,inhismind’seye,hewasalreadysufferingahumiliatingdefeatatthehandsofhisopponent.Thekidwasveryshaken;andweonlyhadafewminutestoturnthisthingaround.Hewasupnext,andtheclockdidn’tshowmuchtimeleftbeforethecurrentmatchwouldend.
Withsolittletimeleft,whatcouldwedoIwondered?
Rightthen,IrememberedsomethingthatLeo-taihadtoldme.“Danielsan,oneshouldneverlookwhereonedoesnotwishtogo...”Ihadanidea.
“Areyoureadytotrustme?”Iaskedhim.
“Whateveryousay,coach.”
“Right.Thenstepoverhereandlet’sgetbusy.”
Afewminuteslater,whenhisnamewasannounced,Iwalkedwithhimtotheedgeofthemat.Hehadn’ttakenhisfocusfromhistaskforasinglesecond.AllI’ddonewastoprovidehimwiththementaltechnique;hedidtherestinsidehishead.
Letmetellyou,whenthatkidsteppedontothemathewasaforceofdominance,confidence,andtechnique.Withinafewminuteshewentfromafearfulfreshmanwrestlerheadingforacrushingdefeat,toanunchainedgladiator,achampionwhoownedthearena.Hehelpedtocreateoneofthemostexcitinghigh-scoring,action-packedmatchesofthetournament.Thematchwentthefulldistance,andintheendmyunbelieverhadlostthematchbyonlyonepoint.Thecrowdcouldn’tbelievetheireyes.Theirchampionhadbarelysurvivedhisfirstmatch!
Whathedidisnotdifficult:nomagic,nohypnosis,nosmokeormirrors.Isimplyguidedhimthroughaprocesswiththreesimpleinstructions.Igavehimoneminutetodealwitheachinstruction,beforegivinghimthenextone.Inthatshorttimehewasabletochangehisstatecompletely.
IpromisethatIwillteachyouexactlyhowtodothisforyourselfalittlelaterinthebook—andmuchmore—butfirst,let’sthinkaboutwhatthisreal-lifeexperiencebringstolight.
Ineedyoutorecallanoccasionwhenyouperformedatyourbest—andthenrememberatimewhenyouwereatyourworst.Nowwhenyoulookatthosetwoperformances,Iwantyoutobehonestwithyourselfandask,whatmadethemostdifferencebetweenthetwo?Couldithavebeenyourmentalstatethatmadethemostdifference?
Mostathleteswilladmitthatabigpartofthedifferencewasexactlythat,andthattheperformancedifferencehadeverythingtodowiththeirmentalstate.Inthecaseofmyunbeliever,thedifferencebetweenwhatwaspromisingtobeoneofhisworstperformancesever,andwhathadturnedouttobeoneofhisbestperformancesever,was,afterall...mostlymental.
Andthat’stheimportantpoint:nomatterwhatyourgameis,orwhatthechallengeis,thedifferencebetweengreatperformancesandaverageperformancesismostlymental.Onceyoureachacertainlevelofskill,it’syourmentalskillsthatstartmakingallthedifference.Thebettertheyare,thebetteryoubecome—andthebetteryourresultswillbe.
Someprofessionalathleteswilltellyouthattheyspendconsiderabletimeonmentaltraining.They’lltellyouhowimportantitistoreadbooks,practicementaltechniques,andbecomeaccomplishedatusingrelaxationandimagery,becausetheyknowfromexperiencehowithelpstheirperformance.Championsknowthatthementalgamecanteachanyonehowtostayfocused,goal-oriented,andmotivatedtosucceed,aswellashowtobetterdealwithbothtemporarysetbacksandrealadversity.
TheMentalWarriorunderstandsthattimespentonthementalgamewillpayoffwithimprovedperformance—sometimesalmostinstantly.TheWarrior/Championlearnstousetechniquesthathelphimgetoutofhisownway,sohecanreachthenextpossiblelevelofperformance,notbyrandomchance,butbyfocusedchoice,overandoveragain.
It’snotthatdifficult.Lookatwhatmyunbelieverwasabletodowithinafewminutesofbeginningtoapplymentaltrainingtechniques.
Remember:Powerfulmentaltechniquesareuser-friendlyandcapableofdeliveringresultsveryquickly.
Chapter2:OnAttitude
DuringonelessonInoticedLeo-tailookingatmeasifhewastryingtodecidewhetherIwasreallylistening.
“Abadattitudecancostyoueverything,Danielsan;itaffectsnotonlyhowyoufeel,butalsohowyouperform.Thisyoumustremember,forwhenyouteach,”hetoldme.
That’showhe’dstartsometimes.Justthrowsomethingouttoseeifhe’dcaughtmyattention.
Irememberteasinghimonce,saying,“Iknowwhenyoudothat.”
“What?”heaskedinnocently.
“Youknow,checktoseeifI’mreallylistening.”
“Really?AnddidyouknowthatIknowwhenyouknowthatyouthinkyouknowwhatI’mdoing?”
Thetruthis:Iwaslistening,it’sjustthathisteachingmethodwassospontaneousthat,nomatterwhatmoodIwascomingfrom,Ihadtosetitasiderightawayashestarted,orImightaccidentallyoffendthecreativeoldsoul...So,Iresponded,“WhatdoyoumeanforwhenIteach?”
“Ohsomeday,I’msureyouwill,”hesaid.“Now,alwaysremember,awarriorlearnshowtocontrolhisinternalmentalclimate.Andhavingagoodattitudehelpshimtoachievethatcontrolbycreatinganexpectationofsuccess.Therightattitudehelpsempowerhimtotakethenecessaryactionsandtofocusonthethingsthatmustbedone—agoodattitudecanmakeallthedifference.”
“Why?”Iasked.“Whatmakesitsopowerful?”
“Thereasonisquitesimple,”hesaid.“It’sbecauseagoodattitude,apositiveattitude,createsoptimism,positiveenergy.Andpositiveenergyismuchbetteratsettinggoodthingsintomotionthannegativeenergyis.Warriorswithnegativeattitudesbecomevictimsoftheirownnegativeoutlook;theylose
becausetheirownnegativitydrainsthem.Winninghasalottodowithhavingagoodattitude.Notonlyincompetition,Danielsan,butalsoinlifegenerally.Youmustalwaysrememberthat.”
Manyyearslatermymindflashedbacktothatlesson.
Iwasdealingwithaneliteathletetryingtocometotermswithaverytoughcompetitiveloss.Whilestilldeeplyhurt,heaskedme,“What’stheuseofworkingonkeepingapositiveattitude?Itdidn’tseemtohelpme—didit?”
It’sattimeslikethesethatIwishLeo-taicouldstepin.Whenanathleteisdevastatedonemusttreadlightly.IsetouttotryandexplainwhatLeo-taihadtaughtme(andhadsomehowknownthatIwouldneedtohelpsomeoneelseunderstandoneday).
“Listen,”Itoldhim,“Iknowyou’reupset,andIalsoknowhowharditis,becauseI’vebeenonthispathbeforeyou.ButI’mheretotellyou,asawiseoldteacheroncetoldme,thatworkingonkeepingapositiveattitudeiswhatwillhelpyouworkthroughthisbadpatch.Apositiveattitudewillcreatetheopportunityforagreatcomebackorforagreatperformance—Apositiveattitudeneverworksagainstyou.Butanegativeattitudewillalwaysfindawaytoworkagainstyou.Evenifonefindsawaytowindespiteabadattitude,thefactisthathecouldalwayshaveperformedbetterstill.”
LikeLeo-taiusedtodowithme,Icaughtmyselflookingtoseeifmyathletewaslistening.Idon’tliketoofferupwhatLeo-taitaughtmeifIsenseanathleteistunedout.Inhiscaseheseemedtobelistening,soIfeltencouragedtogoon.
“Achampionteacheshimselftheskillofturningthingsaroundinsidehishead,”Iexplained.“Helearnshowtolookatanegativesetbackbothastemporary,andevenasanopportunityforpositivechange.Heknowsthatthethingshecanlearnfromhislosswillmakehimevenbetter,evenstronger,inthelongrun.TheMentalWarriorlearnsfromhissetbacksandhedoesn’tallowthemtodistracthimfromreachinghistruepotential.
“Sokeepyourself-talkpositive.Keepyouroutlookpositive.Bydoingso,yougiveyourselfthebestchancetoperformwell.Takeonyourinnerfeelingswithcourageanddetermination;andneverallowabadattitudetoholdyoubackfromachievingthelevelofpersonalsuccessthatyouarecapableof.
“Neverbeatyourselfupafteraloss—there’salwayssomethingpositivetobegained,somethingtobelearned,evenfromanegativesituation.”
“Irememberhowafteranespeciallytoughanddisappointinglossoneofmykidchampionssummeditup.‘Iwasdoingwell,’hetoldme.‘I’mbetterthanheis.I’mnotsurewhathappened—butnexttimehewon’tbesolucky.”
"Soyousee?Youmustchoosetostaypositive,”Itoldhim,“Evenakidcandoit.”
“Iknow,”hesaidslowly,“Butrightnow,Ijustfeelsobad,Ifeelsolow.”
Iunderstoodtheheavinessinhisheart,thedisappointment,andasLeo-taihadtaughtme,Iwantedhimtounderstandthathehadthepowertoturnthisthingaroundinhishead.
“Look,trythis,”Ipointeduptotheclockonthewall.“Giveyourselfjustfivemoreminutestofeelbadaboutthisthingifyoureallyfeelyouneedto,andthenafterthosefiveminutesareup,decidetostartseeingtheexperienceasanopportunitytohelpyoufigureouthowtocreateapositivechangeinthelevelofyourplay.Turnitaroundinyourhead.”Iurged.
Helookedupatmeandnodded.Mentalcontrolstartswithadecision.Itwasclearthatwehadadeal.
Fiveminuteslater,Iwatchedhimwalkoutofthatlockerroomrightontime,justasI’dexpectedhimto.Youcouldtellbythewayhewalkedthatthedecisionhadbeenmade.Thetemporarysetbackhadnowbecomeanopportunityforpositivechange.Hehadturnedthingsaroundinhishead.Hewasfocusedontheopportunitiesthatlayaheadforpositivechange.Hehaddecidedthathisattitudewouldbepositive.
It'snotalwayseasy;ittakesadecisionandacommitmenttoadifferentpointofview.
Championscandothat—andsocanyou.
Remember:TheWarrior/Championunderstandsthatabadattitudecancosthimeverything.Itaffectsnotonlyhowyoufeel,butalsohowyouperform.
Chapter3:GainingtheMentalEdge
Sportspsychologystudieswhatsuccessfulpeopledo.Oneofthemostprofoundthingsvalidatedthroughstudyafterstudyofmanygreatathletes,isthatifyoutakeagroupofathleteswithequalabilityandsomereceivementaltrainingwhileothersdonot,theoneswhoweregivenmentaltrainingwillalwaysoutperformthosewithout.Why?Simple:becausethosewhousementaltrainingskillsdevelopaMentalEdge.
Once,whenIwasyoung,mygrandfathertookmetoseethelegendarysoccerplayerfromBrazil–Pelé—atTampaStadium.
I’llneverforgetthatwarmsummernight,ashedominatedthegamewiththreeelectrifyinggoals.Thatwasalongtimeago,butI’llalwaysrememberthewayhedodgeddownthefield,feintedandswervedonadimetogetpastdefenders,theballseeminglygluedtohisfeet—untilheletitflyinsidethegoalposts.
Yearslater,IcameacrossastoryaboutPeléinthewritingsofthelateGaryMack,anotedsportsmentaltrainerwithwhomPeléhadsharedwhatheconsideredtobethetwokeystowinning–EnthusiasmandaMentalEdge.
PelétoldGaryabouttheroutineheusedbeforeeverygameheplayed.Hewouldgointothelockerroomaboutanhourearlyandfindaprivatecornerinthelockerroom.Thenhewouldliedownusingatowelasapillowandcoverhiseyes.
Peléexplainedhowhebegantowatchafilminhismind’seye:afilmofhimselfasakidplayingsocceronthebeachinBrazil.Heletthis“movie”bringbackgloriousmemoriesofthesand,thewarmsunonhisback,theoceanbreezefeatheringhistemples.Hewouldvividlyrecallthethrillofthegame,thejoythatitbroughttohim;hewouldimmersehimselfinhisloveofthegame,allowinghimselftorelivethoseglowingmemories.Allowinghimselftofeelthem.
Inshort,beforeeverysinglegameheplayed,Pelémadesuretoputhimselfintouchwithhispureloveofhissport.
ThenPelémovedforwardinhismentalmovie.Pelédescribedhowhebegantoreviewandwatchhimselfrelivesomeofhisgreatestmomentsinworldcompetitions.Hetalkedaboutlettinghimselffeelandenjoytheintensityofthosewinningfeelingsoverandoveragain.Hetalkedabouthowcrucialitwasforhimtomakeastrongconnectionwiththosefeelingsandimagesinhispastbeforeheproceededtoimaginehimselfperformingathisabsolutepeakintheupcomingevent.
FinallyPelétoldGarythathewouldseehimselfashewasabouttobecome:playingbrilliantly,scoringgoals,dribblingpastdefendersinamentalmoviemadeupofpositiveimageswithstrongfeelingsofenjoymentandtriumph.Heimaginedeverythingbeforeiteverhappened:thecrowd,theatmosphere,thefield,hisownteam,hisopponents,hesawhimselfplayingirresistiblylikeachampion—asaforcethatcouldnotbestopped.Butmostimportant,hetoldGary,wastorememberthatitwasnotjustaboutvisionandimagery,butalsoaboutfeelingtheemotionsassociatedwithsuccess.Hepointedoutthathevividlyimaginedhowgooditallfelt.
Onlyafteraboutahalf-hourofrelaxationandmentalrehearsal,wouldPelébegintostretchandpreparehismusclesforthejobtheyhadtodo.Bythenhecouldrelaxbecausehehadalreadyprimedhismindforvictory.Bythetimehe’djoggedintothestadium,hewas(almostliterally)unstoppable.Physicallyandmentallyhewasarmedandfortifiedtowin.Noonecouldtouchhim.
InthatshorttimewithGary,Pelésharedwithusexactlyhowtotapintowhatheconsideredthetwoessentialkeystowinning:EnthusiasmandaMentalEdge.
Isharethislessonwithallmyclientsandsuggestthattheytoocreateaninternalplace,aplacewheretheirmindscangobeforeanyeventinordertorehearse,visualize,feel,andprepareexactlyasPeléusedto.Thisiswhereyougotoplayandwatchyour“mentalhighlighttapes”;thisiswhereyouonceagainconnectwiththefunandloveofyoursport,tofeelthatwinningfeeling.Mostofall,thisiswhereyougotomentallyprepareyourselfandtogainthementaledgebeforebattle.
Fortheathletewho’sjuststartingoutandwhomaynothavepastsuccessestoreplay,Isuggestthattheypretendthattheydoandthattheywatchthemselvesasiftheydid.Afterall,it’syourmovie!—you’reitsdirectorandproducer,itseditorandwriter;themoreimaginationyoucansqueezeintoitthebetter.MixinsomeenthusiasmwithyourimageryandnowbothofPelé'skeystowinningareintheformula.It’salsoimportanttopracticeseeingyourselfovercoming
adversityandstayingincontrolwhatevermightarise.Thisdoesn’tmakeforarrogance—thoughitmightsoundlikeit.Itcreatesconfidence.Confidenceisdifferentfromarrogance;andconfidenceisoneofthekeystoperformingwell.
UsethesameroutinethatPelédidtogetthingsgoingforyourself.Practicemixingrelaxation,imagery,feelings,andenthusiasm,priortocompetitioninapre-gameroutine,inordertogainamentaledgeandasuresenseofconfidencegoingintotheevent.Inthislessonyouhaveoneofthemostsuccessfulathletesintheworldtellingyouhowhewentaboutpreparingforcompetition.
Pearlsofwisdom.
Remember:Onemustconsistentlypracticementalskillsandpre-gameroutinesinordertotapone’sfullpotential.
Chapter4:LearningtoFlyNavyJets
ShortlyafterarrivingatAviationOfficer'sCandidateSchoolinPensacolaFlorida,theyoungcollegegradsgettomeettheirDrillInstructors.
TheMarineDrillInstructorswehadduringthoseinitialfivemonthsofaviationmilitaryindoctrinationarethebesttheMarineCorpshastooffer.TheseDrillInstructorshadearnedtherighttobebroughtonboardNavalAviationSchoolsCommand,andtheirjobwastoseekoutandeliminateanymentallyweakcandidateswhomayhavefoundthemselveswronglyassignedtotheaviationprogram.Theyaremethodical,effective,andprofessionalintheirapproach,andtheyeventuallygetaroundtoworkingoneverysinglecandidate.Ifyoudon’thaveamentalgame,you’renotlikelytomakeitthrough.Forthoseofuswhosurvived,itwasofftoflightschoolasnewlycommissionedNavalOfficers.
Itwasn’tlongbeforeoneofmyclassmatessoughtmeoutforsomeadviceregardingacertainflightinstructor.Someoftheseinstructorswereprettyintenseandtheenvironmenttheywereabletocreatefromthebackseatofthecockpitcanmakethementalpartofanytrainingmissionverychallenging.Atanyrate,myfriendJohnhadbeentoldthathehadtodoaflightoveragain.Notgood.Infact,ifthathappenedtwicehewasindangerofbeingkickedoutofflightschool.Inadditiontothatworry,hehadsomebadvibesabouthavingtoflywiththatinstructoragain.
“Tellmewhatwentwrongthelasttime,”Isuggested.“Whatwasgoingthroughyourheadwhenitturnedugly?”
Hetriedtoremember.
“Well,becauseofbadweatherIwasbeingvectoredallaround,whichshiftedtheentiretrainingmissiononthespot.AsIsoughttoregaincontrolofthesituationIkeptthinking:Whyme,whydoIgetthelousyweather?Whatisthisinstructor’sproblem,whyishegunningforme?Whatelsecangowrong?WhathaveIdonetodeserveallthishassle?”
Johnlookedatmeandshrugged.“Youknowhowitis,someidiotinstructorscreamingatthetopofhislungs,creatinghavoc,hittingswitches,callingfor
emergencyprocedures,allthatstuff!”Johnreflectedforasecond.“Morethananythingelse,Irememberfeelingrushed.”
“Sinceyoufeltrushed,youprobablydidrush,”Itoldhim,“Andwhenthathappensitinterfereswithourperformance,whateveritiswe’retryingtodo.Rushingautomaticallyincreasestension,whichcausesmoremistakestohappen.Moremistakesbringonmoretension.It’saviciouscycle:themoremistakeswemake,themorefrustratingitbecomes,andtheeasieritisforustoloseourmentalfocus...Theruleis:don’trushwhenthepressure’son—smoothisfast.Breathe,pause,andlearntogatheryourself—butnever,ever,allowyourselftorushyourgame.”
“IalsorememberthatIbegantosecond-guessmyself.”saidJohn.“Thatdidn’thelpeither.”
"Right.Ifyoubegintoover-analyzethesituation,thatcankick-startalotofnegativeself-talk.IrememberwhenmymartialartsinstructorLeo-taiwouldnotice,he'dshakehishead,andtellmethatIneededtostartbyshuttingdownthenegativeself-talk,thatIneededtoquitfightingmyself.”
“How?”askedJohn.
“Hetaughtmetointerruptanynegativeself-talktheinstantInoticeditandreplaceitbyfiringoffpositiveself-talk.Thingslike:I’mfast;I’mfocused;I’mgood.Healwayssaidnottoletnegativethoughtsgetinyourway.Youhavetocancelthenegativityandfeedyourself-beliefinstead.Thiswillimproveyourconcentration,andloweryourleveloftension,whichwillhelpyoutoperformbetter.Shuttingdownnegativeself-talk,beginsbyinterruptingit,andtheninstantlyreplacingit.”
Johnwaslistening.
“Thatmakessense,”headmitted.“Troubleis,Istillthinkthatthisguyisouttogetmepersonally.”
“OK,sothatmakeshimaseriousopponent.Andwithaseriousopponentyouhavetogetaclearideainyourheadofwhatyouneedinordertobeathim.Onceyouareclearonwhatyoumustdotowin,youhavetostayfocusedonthemostimportanttaskathand,sothat—nomatterwhathethrowsatyou—he’sunabletodisruptyourtask-consciousness.
Youcan’tlethimrattleyou,tocomebetweenyouandwhatyouintendtodo.If
hedisruptsyourtask-consciousness,hewins–andyoulose,especiallyinjettraining.You’vegottostaytask-focused.Youcan’tletyouropponenttakethatfromyou.”
“That’sexactlywhathappenedlasttimewewentup,”Johnadmitted.“Andthat’swhatreallyworriesme.Youknowhowcrazyitgetsupthere.We’removingreallyfast.Onceherattledme,itallwentdownhill.Frankly,I’malittlespookedhavingtoflywiththisinstructoragain.Iimagineitfeelskindoflikehavingtofightsomeguywhoknockedyoudownbefore.”
“Anyonecanlandaluckypunch,”Itoldhim.“Snapoutofit.Thepastdoesnotequalthefuture!Leaveyourbadexperiencewiththisguyinthepast,whereitbelongs.Don’tsabotageyournextperformancebyfeedingyourbrainnegativefeelingsaboutaneventthatisstilloutinthefuture.TheArtofMentalTrainingteachesthatourperformanceactionwillfollowthementalthoughtsandimagesweentertain.Inotherwords:you’llgetwhatyouseeinyourmind’seye.Thebrainhelpsyouachieveyourgoalswhenyoushowittheresultsthatyouwantittoproduceforyou,sobesurenevertodwellonimagesorfeelingsofoutcomesthatyoudefinitelydon’twant.”
“Meaning?”askedJohn.
“Meaningthatoneofthemostimportantthingsaboutcompetingatanythingislearninghowtoenteracompetitionmentallypreparedtodoyourbest...Beyondshuttingdownthenegativeself-talktheinstantitappears,Iwantyoutoworkonconnectingfeelingsandimagesofsuccesswiththepreciseeventthatliesbeforeyou.Youhavetoshowyourmindwhatyouwanttohavehappenthenexttimeyou’reflyingwiththisinstructor.Andyouhavetostartdoingthistypeofmentaltrainingasfaraheadoftheactualeventaspossible.”
Overthenextcoupleofweeks,Johnsetsometimeasidetopracticesome“Imagineering”(asyou’lllearninalessonthatliesahead)duringdailyrelaxationsessions.Duringthesetimesheallowedonlyimagesandfeelingsofvictoryandsuccesstobeassociatedinhismindwiththeupcomingeventwhenhewouldmeethisopponent.
Usinghismind’seye,heimaginedhimself,ingreatdetail,astheultimatemilitaryaviationprofessionaldoinghisverybestundersituationsofextremepressure.Hepracticedseeingandfeelinghimselfhavinganintenseabilitytostaytask-consciousandtask-focused—nomatterwhat.Hecouldevenseeandfeelhimselfshuttingdownanynegativeself-talktheinstantitaroseand
replacingitwithempoweringself-talk.
Hiseffortspaidoff!Johnlatertoldmehowhehadbeatenhisopponentthenexttwotimestheyhadmetoverthenextseveralweeks:andtodayJohnisaseasonedcaptainflyingwithamajorairline.
Whatthistruestoryteachesusisthatbyusingsportsmentaltrainingtechniquesyoucanovercomeobstaclesthatmightotherwisehavestoppedyoufromachievinggoalsthatareimportanttoyououtsidetherealmofsports.Inotherwords,whenusedcorrectly,mentaltechniquescanhelpyouachieveyourdreams.
Remember:Interruptnegativeself-talkandimagesthemomenttheyarise,shutthemdownonthespot.Replacethemwithpositiveself-talkandpositiveimages.Concentrateonshowingyourbrainexactlywhatitisthatyouwanttoachieve,neverdwellonwhatyoudonotwanttohappen.
Chapter5:TheImportanceofSelf-BeliefIrememberonceupinWashingtonState,Leo-taiandIwerehikingalongpartofthePacificCrestTrail.Leo-tailovedthebeautyofthosemountains.Therewemetastrangeguy,possiblyayounghermit,whobentourearswithwild-eyedwarningsofaliensandUFO’sallaroundthelocalwildernessafterdark.
Thatnightatcamp,afterjokingandlaughingabouttheguy’sspookyalienstories,Leo-taiandIsensedthepresenceof...someone.Webothstoodupatthesamemomentandlookedoutintothedark.Allaroundusattheedgeofthedarknessweremanypairsofunblinking,yellowisheyes.Icouldn’tfigureoutwhatsortofcreaturesthoseeyesbelongedto,buttheywereallaroundusinthedark,reflectedbythelightofourdyingfire.I’mnotgoingtolie:IfeltalittlenervousasIcountedsevenseparatepairsofeyes.
Leo-taiwasverycalm;butIimmediatelystartedhurlingrocks—hard.Ifigurediftheywerealiens,Iwasgoingtoknockatleastoneofthemoutbycrackinghisskullwithmyrock-solidfastball.
Meanwhile,Leo-taifannedthefirebacktolife.
“Youbetterhelpmeouthere,”Iurgedhim.“They’renotgoingaway!”
Leo-taiturnedfromthefireandstartedthrowingrockswithfocusedaccuracy.Notbadforanoldguy,Ithought.Still,weweresooutnumbereditwasscary,andthesilenceofthecreaturesallarounduswasveryunnerving.Then,suddenly,wecaughtaglimpseofwhomwewerefacing.
Apackofhuge,fearless,maraudingraccoons!Theywerewild;theyweremean;andtheywerecomingin—clearlywantingsomefood.Wefoughthardastheyrepeatedlychargedusandtriedtointimidateusintorunning.Theyseemtohaveabsolutelynofearofusatall.Iwonderediftheyhadrabies.
Afterseveralminutesofchargesandcounter-attacks,Leo-taisomehowsensedwhotheleaderofthepackwas.Andpayingnoattentiontoseveralcloser
raccoons,hecaughthimrightbetweentheeyeswitharocktravellingatthespeedofsound.Itwasthemostaccurateshotanyonecouldhaveaskedfor.
Bang!“Whowantssome!?”Leo-taiexclaimed.Theleaderrockedback,stunned,andthenquicklytookoffrunning,withhisentirepackbehindhim.
“Greatshot,”Isaid,breathinghard.“Butwhatwasthatallabout?Sincewhendidraccoonsrunaroundbehavinglikethat?”
Leo-taismiledshakinghishead.“Averyfearlessgrouptheywere.”
Thenheaskedmeaquestion,“Danielsan,didyoueverthinkthatweweren’tgoingtowin?”
Ithoughtback.
“Notreally,”Isaid.“AllIknewwasthatthiswasdarnserious,thatitwastimetofight,andthatfightingwasexactlywhatIwasgoingtodo.”
Myteachersmiled.
“Verygood,Danielsan.Self-belief.Youmustalwaysbeginbybelievingthatyouhavewhatittakes.Whenthepressureison,themoreyoubelieveinyourself,thebetteryourperformancewillbe.Withoutstrongself-belief,thewarriorwindsupnowhere.Youhavetobelievethatyoucanwin;thenthatself-beliefputsyouinapositiontowin.”
“Areyou’retalkingaboutconfidence?”Iasked.
“Notcompletely.Confidenceisaby-productofstrongself-belief.Themorepowerfulhisself-belief,themoreconfidencethewarriorisabletosummonsupwhenthepressureison.Andthestrongerhisself-belief,thebetterhisperformancewillbe.”
“Soself-beliefbringsonaconfidencethatcanempowerus?”
“Indeed.Whenyoureallybelievethatyoucanwin,Danielsan,somethingextremelypowerfulissetintomotion.
Soinordertohelpbuildthestrongestself-beliefsystemhecanhave,aWarrior/Championlearnstouseimaginationtoseehimselfinhismind’seyeaccomplishinghismostdesiredsuccesswhileinadeeprelaxedstateofawareness.Thisisthekeytoimprovingself-belief,thefoundationofwhichliesdeepinsidethemind.”
WhatLeo-taimeantwasthatwhileourself-beliefsystemisformedovertheyearsbyexperiences,memories,andoutsideinfluences—anyonecanstillrefineandbuilduphisownself-beliefsystembyusingthetoolsofrelaxationandimagination.Thechampionseesandfeelshimselfsucceedinginhismind’seye,manytimesover,longbeforeheactuallyarrivesforthecompetition.Thisishowheimproveshisself-belieffrominside.
“Teachthem,Danielsan,thattheWarrior/Championgoeswithin.”
AndwiththatLeo-taidisappearedbehindtheflapsofhistent.
Hmmm,Ithought.That'skindofdramatic.What’shethinking?HemustbeverysurethatIhavenoquestionstoask—andthatthepackofraccoonsaren’tcomingback.
“Hey,doesthatmeanyou’redoneforthenight?”Iaskedhim.
“Hastamañana,”saidthevoicefrominsidethetent.“Iammucholderthanyoumyfriend—andI’mtired.”
Icouldn’thelpbutaskinghimjustonemorequestion.
“Okay,”Isaid,“butwhatiftheraccoonscomebackagain?”
Withouthesitation,camethereply,“Why—theanswerisquiteclear,Danielsan.Iftheyattackagain...thentheyshallloseagain.”
Remember:It’sself-beliefthatgetseverythinggoing.
Chapter6:ImagineeringandSelf-Confidence
Imagineering—thetechniqueofshowingourmindshowwewantthingstogo;andatermfirstcoinedbythelegendarydreamer,WaltDisney.WeshouldalltakehisadviceandallowourselvestopracticesensoryrichImagineering.ChampionsuseImagineeringpriortotheirevents.It'salsooftenusedbypeopleinordertohelpthemachievethesuccessfulcompletionofaprojectoranimportantgoalovertime.Thissimplepracticehasbeenproventobesoessentialandsoeffective,thattheathletewhofailstopracticethetechniqueapparentlyneverplaystohistruepotential.(Interestingly,thesameresultshavebeenobservedwithactorsandmusicians,aswell.)Forperformanceofanykind,mentalpreparationisasimportantasphysicaltraining.Soifyouleave“Imagineering”outofyourpreparation,youwillbehurtingyourselfandhelpingyouropponent.
Imaginesteppingintocompetitionhavingseenandfelttheentireexperiencebefore;fromthecrowdtothecoaches,fromthevenuetoyourownperformance,allinyourownmind.It’safascinatingexperience.Itcreatesanincrediblefeelingofconfidence.
What’sreallythekeywithImagineeringisthatyounotonlyseeandwatch,butthatyouactuallyfeelyourselfsucceeding,overandoveragain.Makesurethatyoubringemotionintoyourmentalpractice.Practicefeelingsalongwithimagesincludingthoserelatedtoyourovercomingadversityandbeingabletosuccessfullyfightyourwayoutofchallengingpredicamentsorsituations.
NeverallowyourselftoentertainimagesorfeelingsofdefeatduringyourImagineeringsessions.Thisisbecausewhateverimpressionsreachthesubconsciousminditwillacceptasbeingtrue—andwhatitbelievestobetrueaffectsyourperformance.Feeditempowering,successfulimagesandfeelings,anditdeliversperformance,drive,andmotivationfromdeepwithinyourselfinlinewiththoseimagesandfeelings.
However,ifyoufeeditsuggestionsofworriesorfailurethenyouwilldefeat
yourself—withnootheropponentnecessary.
Success,victory,andyourabilitytoeffectivelyovercomeadversity,iswhatyoumustrehearse,rehearse,andrehearseagain.Relax,bestill,andinyourmind-youmustseeit,feelit,andacceptthatitiscomingyourway.Thisprocessofconditioningforsuccessset'sthingsinmotion.Itcreatesconfidenceandconfidenceisoneofthemostsignificantby-productsofgoodmentaltraining.Themostpowerfulconfidencecomesastheresultofbothphysicalandmentalpreparation—andwinningandachievementhaseverythingtodowithpreparation.
Ifyouthinkyou’reconfidentnow,andyou’renotusingmentaltrainingtechniques,thenyoureallycan’tevenbegintoknowwhatyou’remissingorunderstandhowmuchyoustoodtoimprovewithmentaltraining—thatinsightcomesonlythroughitspractice.
Remember:Imagineeringisvitalbecauseitleadstogreaterself-beliefandgreaterconfidence,whichinturnleadstobetterperformanceandachievements.
Chapter7:TheCriticalThree
Breathing,relaxation,andimageryarementionedthroughoutthelessonssooftenbecausethey’resuchfundamentallyimportanttoolsfortheWarrior/Champion.Icallthem“TheCriticalThree.”IrememberhowoftenLeo-taispokeofallthree.They’reallcrucialinordertohelpcreatetheIdealMentalClimatefromwhichpeakperformancespringsforth.
Sometimesclientstendtogetover-analyticalaboutthe“right”waytopracticebreathingorthe“right”waytogodeepintorelaxation.It’salwaysfuntoshowthemthatinreality,it’smucheasierthantheyeverthoughtitcouldbe.
Firstlet’slearnaboutbreathing.
IhaveamemoryofLeo-taifromatimewhenIhadbeenwatchinghimhighuponamountain,andsoneartheedgethatIworriedhemightfall.Hewaspracticingwhathecalledhisfocusedbreathing,hishandssometimesflowingtotherhythmofhisbreathinginslowandbalancedcircularmotions,andsometimesnot.
Hehadtaughtmetodojustashewasdoing,todrawtheairindeeplyandslowlytothebottomofmylungsthroughmynose,whileexpandingthediaphragm.Then,afterholdingitmomentarily,heslowlypushedtheairoutofthelungsbydrawingthediaphragmin.Heexplainedthatit’simportanttolettheairoutthrougharelaxedandslightlyopenedmouthwhilekeepingthetipofthetonguepressedlightlyagainsttheridgebehindthefrontteeth,withthetonguetouchingtheroofofthemouth.
AfterwardsIaskedhimwhatwasgoingthroughhismindashepracticedhisbreathing.
“Nothing,”hesaid,“Ijusttrytoobservemybreathing:that’sall.Ifathoughtcomestome,Ipayitnoattentionanditsoonflowsaway.ThemoreIfocusonthebreathing,themoreIobservethebreathing,thequietermythoughtsbecome.Andalso,noticethatIcanpracticethebreathingwithoutanyformwhatsoever,wheneverIneed.”
“Whatdoyoumean,withoutanyform?”Iasked.
“IcanpracticemyfocusedbreathingwheneverIwant,evennowasIsitandvisitwithyou.”Hetoldme.“Ipracticefocusedbreathingtohelpkeepmecentered—tohelpbringmebacktothepresent.Icandoitwithoutform.Youdonotseememovingaroundorflowingasatai-chimasterdoesdoyou?YetstillIampracticingmyfocusedbreathing.”
I’llneverknowwhy,butthesurenessandsimplicityofthewordsthathespokethatdayhaveneverleftme.I’mgratefulforthatbecauseI’velearnedthroughexperiencethatit’sthroughthefocusedbreathingthathetaughtmethatI’vealwaysbeenabletobegintoachievethementalcontrolorfocusthatwasrequiredforwhateverseriouschallengeImayhavebeenfacingatthetime.
Sofromnowon,wheneverfocusedbreathingismentionedinanyofourotherlessonsyou’llknowexactlywhatwearedescribing,howit’sdone,andwhyit’spartofthemixoftoolsthathelpsusachievementalcontrol.It’simportanttopracticefocusedbreathingifonehopestoeverbeabletoharnessthepowerofthetechnique.
ThereisasecondimportantconceptmentionedthroughouttheArtofMentalTrainingthatLeo-tainevertiredofexplaining,timeandtimeagain,yearafteryear.Letmeexplainashedidtome:theconceptofrelaxation...bothmentalandphysical.
Whatdowemeanbyrelaxation?AndwhyisrelaxationpracticesoimportantfortheathleteandMentalWarrior?Relaxationmattersbecausewhenusedwithmentalimageryitfacilitatesandallowsourinner(subconscious)mindtoclearlyseeoursuccessimageryandfeeloursuccessfeelings.
It’sonlywhenweareinadeepstateofrelaxationthattheconsciousmindquitsactingasafilterfortheinnermind.It'swhenthecriticalconsciousmindissetasidethroughrelaxation(forseveralminutes)thatourImagineeringcanreachtheinnerminddirectly.Amongotherthings,theinnermindisagoal-strivingmechanism.Showityourgoalsthroughimageryandwithfeelingsofthemashavingalreadybeenaccomplished...anditsetsouttohelpyoumakeitso.Itacceptstheinputasbeingtrue.Seeminglysayingtoitself,ifthisistrue,thenthesemustbetheactionsthatImustbetakingthathelpmakeitso.
Andthat’scriticallyimportantbecausebyblendingbreathing,relaxationandthethirdcriticalelementImagineering,thementalathleteisabletotapaninnerresourcedesignedtohelphimachievehisgoals.
Comingfromwithin,yourmotivationandvolitionbecomestrongerandmorefocused.Fromwithin,you’llsoonfindyourselfmoreeasilydoingallthethingsthatneedtobedoneinorderforyoutoaccomplishyourgoals.Whentheinnermindisabletoseewhatyouwant,it’sabletohelpyougetwhatyouwant.RelaxationskillsarewhatopenupthelinesofcommunicationbetweentheinnermindandyourImagineering.Properbreathinghelpsyougodeeperintorelaxationwheneveryousodesire.
Sowhatdoesrelaxationpracticeentail?Andhowdoyoupracticesettinguptheselinesofcommunication?
Theabilitytoachieveastateofdeeprelaxationeasilyandquicklycomesonlythroughpractice.Afterafewweeksofpracticeonecanusuallyenteradeepstateofrelaxationwithinafewminutesofdecidingtodoso—andforsomeitcanhappenevenquickerthanthat.
Itellmyclientstoconsiderpracticinganddevelopingthisskillbyusingthefollowingprocess.Iremindthemthatiftheyjustallowtheprocesstohappennaturally,thenitwill.Youcan’ttrytoforcerelaxation,butwithpracticeanyonecanlearnhowtoslipintorelaxationquiteeasily.
Movetoaquietspacewhereyouwon’tbedisturbed.Liedownonyourbackwithyourfeetslightlyapart,armsslightlyextendedfromyourbody,palmsfacingdown,andmakesureyouareascomfortableaspossiblebeforeproceeding.(Inotherwords:notightorrestrictiveclothing,temperaturenottoohot,nottoocold,etc.Getcomfortable).
Now,fixyoureyesonapointaboveyouontheceiling.Remainingasstillasyoucan,beginbytakingthreelong,deep,deep,breaths,inhalingthroughyournose.Holdeachbreathtemporarily,andthenexhaleslowlythroughyourmouth.Andwitheachbreaththatyourelease,Iwantyoutofeelawaveofrelaxationbegintooverwhelmyouasyouletgoandbegintoenjoytheprocess.
Asyouexhalethethirdbreath,gentlyletyoureyelidsbegintoclose.Now,forthenexttenbreaths,imagineyoureyelidsgettingheavierandheavier.Iwantyoutomentallyrepeattheword“deeper”asyouexhaleandletalltensionandthoughtsdisappeareverytimeyoubreatheout.Letyourselfgodeeperintorelaxationwitheachbreaththatyouletout.Ifyourminddrifts,that’sokay;justgentlybringyourattentionbacktolearninghowtorelaxandhowtoletgoasyouexhaleandmentallyrepeattheword“deeper”.Afterteneasybreathsyouarereadytobeginfocusingonrelaxingthemusclesofeverypartofyourbody.
Startwithyourtoesandbeginmovingupyourbodyastotalrelaxationbeginstotakeover.Focusonrelaxingeachandeverymuscleinyourbody.Fromtoestocalves,tothighs,toabs,tochest,toback,toarms,toshoulders,andeventoyourneck:everymusclelettinggoandcompletelyrelaxing.Continueallthewayuptothescalpandfacialmuscles.Visualizeeachmuscleloosening,andfeelawaveofdeeprelaxationflowingdeeplyintoallofyourmuscles,intoallofyourbody.Allowyourselftogodeeperintorelaxationwitheachbreaththatyoutake.
Don’trushit,don’tforceit;simplyallowyourmusclestoturnloose,golimpandrelaxnaturallyasyouexperiencetheserenityoftotalrelaxation.(Sometimesclientstellmethatalegorarmtwitchedormoveinvoluntarilyforaninstantandtheyaskmeaboutit.That’snothingtobeconcernedabout;it’sonlythedeephiddentensionbeingtriggeredandreleasedfromwhereithasbeenhiding.Thereleaseofthishiddentensionisboththerapeuticandhealthy.)
Nowallowyourselftoenjoythisstateofrelaxationforabouttwentyminutes,maybealittlemore.Driftinthisseaofhealthyrelaxationandduringthistime,whileinthisdeeplyrelaxedstate,watchyourselfasinamovie,andprojectimagesinyourmind’seyeofyouachievingwhatyoudesire.Seeitasbeingtrue.Feelit.Showyourmindthroughimagesandfeelingswhatyouwillaccomplish.Seeitclearly.Watchyourselfaccomplishingit.Experienceitinwardlyasifitwerealreadytrue.
Remember,thatnow,throughdeeprelaxation,you’veopenedadirectchanneltoyoursubconsciousmind.Feeditimagesandfeelingsofsuccessinyour“movies”thatitwillthensetouttohelpyouaccomplish.Withthispracticeyouaresettingapowerfulforceinmotionfromdeepinsidethatwillhelppropelyoutowardsthesuccessyouenvision.
Aftertwentyminutesorsoofdeeprelaxationand“successconditioning”throughyouruseofyourmentalimagesandfeelings,it’stimetoeitherbringyourselfbacktoastateoffullawareness—orelsetimetosimplyallowyourselftoslipintorestfulsleep.That’suptoyou.
Ifit’stimetosleep,justletyourselfdozeoff.However,ifyouneedtobringyourselfbacktoastateoffullawareness,thenthisisaneasywaytodoit.Imagineastaircasewithfivestepsgoingup.Seeyourselfslowlyclimbingupthesteps,andtellyourselfthatwitheachstepyoutakethatyoufeelmorerefreshed,morealert,andmoreaware.And,thatwhenyoureachthetopstep,you’llfeelrelaxed,refreshed,andrejuvenated,completelyalert,andreadytocarryonwithyourday.
Whenyoureachthelaststep,letyoureyelidsopen,inhalecompletely,andstretch.(Ofcourse,ifyouarepracticingyourrelaxationduringthedaywithinabusyschedule-there'snoharminusinganalarmclockjusttohelpensurethatyougetbacktoyourscheduleontimeincasethedeeprelaxationeverleadstoanunschedulednap.)
That’showtheMentalWarriorusesbreathing,relaxationandsuccessimagery.Hedoesn’tdoitonce.Insteadheincorporatesthemintohistrainingroutineusingrepetitionoverseveralweeksandmonths,sothatthesuccessconditioninghasachancetoactuallybeabsorbedbythesubconsciousmindandtotakeroot,thushelpingtoimproveself-belief,self-confidence,andperformance.Throughpracticelikethis,theMentalWarriorisabletoengageandusethepowerofhissubconsciousmindinordertohelphimachievehisgoals.
RememberwhatLeo-taitoldme:"TheMentalWarriorlearnsaboutfocusedbreathing,relaxation,andimagery—andthenhesetsofftoactuallyusethem."
Chapter8:UnderstandingtheMentalWarrior
Isawaflashofsilverashedrewhisgunfrombehindthesmallofhisback.Mygunalreadydrawn,Iwasbehindcover.Hewasstuckoutintheopen;Ihadaclearlineoffire.Helookedaboutfortyyearsold,withdark,deep-sunkeneyes—helookedeverybitthecriminalhewas.Ihadtrackedandchasedhimdown.Withmyteamnotfarbehindhewasnowcornered.Theadrenalinsurgedinsidemybody.Twentyfeetawaywasafugitivefelonwithaguninhishandthinkingaboutusingitonme.
“Dropit,”Itoldhimfirmly,withoutforoneinstantceasingtobearmygazestraightdownmypistolsight.
Outdrawn,andoutpositioned,therewasn’tthatmuchforhimtothinkabout.Eitherhewantedtoliveorhewantedtodie,that’sreallyallhehadtodecide.Theeyessaiditall.Heloweredhisweapon.Oncewehadhimincuffsandspedofftoourlocation,ithitme.Atlast,themurderousdruglordwhohadcostthelifeofoneofouragentswasfinallyincustody.
Tothisday,IcreditLeo-tai’strainingastheonethingthatmosthelpedmekeepthehair-triggeronmygovernment-issued9mmfromengaging,andsendingfiveorsixblacktalonlawenforcementroundsstraightintotheirtarget–centermass.
Whatacrazyjobthisis,Irememberthinking,asIsatdownforamomenttolettheenergysubside.AndasIdid,mymindflashedbacktoatimewhenLeo-taioncedescribedtheMentalWarriortome...
Wewerewalkinginthehills,heleadingasusual,withthatuntiringpacethatsometimesevenIhadtroublekeepingupwith...Itwashot,andIenjoyedthebreezeasweclimbedhigherandthehumiditybegantodrop.
Whenwefinallyreachedthetopofthetrailwestopped,rested,andadmiredtheviewashetoldmewhathehadplannedtotellme.
“Danielsan,”hesaid,“InordertobecomeaMentalWarrior,youmustlearnto
recognizetheMentalWarrior;youmustunderstandwherethetrainingtakesyou.”
Hehadmyundividedattention.
Thisiswhathetoldme:“MentalWarriorscannotbeintimidated.Theirself-confidenceistoodeeplyrootedtobeshakeable.Theyarriveonthescenetodominate.Theylovetocompete;competingenergizesthem.Theyrepelnegativethoughts;theycontroltheirinternalenvironment.Theyknowhowtoremainfocusedundereventhemostchallengingconditions.”
Hetoldme:“MentalWarriorsmakeitapointtobeready.They'velearnedtomanagepressure;theyneverfailtokeepmovingforward.Theyrefusetolose,they’llneverquit,andtheywillpatientlyworktofindasolution,tofindawaytowin.MentalWarriorscannotacceptnottrying.”
Leo-taiwenton:“MentalWarriorsaregoaloriented.Theyknowwhattheywanttodoandsetouttoachieveit.Theirdreamsandgoalsmotivatethemtoexcel.Theyarededicated.Theyknowhowtocontroltheiremotionssoastonotallowthemtosabotagetheirownperformance.MentalWarriorsneverlosetheircomposureandself-controlintheheatofbattle.”
“Mostofall,MentalWarriorsarebrave,Danielsan,theyhaveheart.Theyhavethecourageandinnerstrengthtoachievetheirfullpotential.Theyunderstandthepowerofimagination,concentration,andconsistency.”
HeclosedhislessonthatdaybyremindingmethattheonlywaythatonecouldeverbecomeaMentalWarriorwasbypracticingwhattheArtteaches.
Remember:Onemustpracticeinordertobecome.
Chapter9:ControllingAnger
“Let’sreview,Danielsan,”hetoldmeaswesatdown.Sometimesafteraworkoutwe’ddrinksometeaandenjoytheviewfromhissimplepatiooverlookingthecoastline.
“Atthispointyouunderstandthat—whetherpositive,negative,oranywhereinbetween—allemotionsarecreatedbywhatwearethinking.Youunderstandthatthestrongerthewarriorisabletobuildhisself-beliefsystemthebetter.Youunderstandthatself-belief,agoodattitude,confidence,andpositiveself-talkarewhat“getthingsgoing.”Youunderstandthatemotionsaffectperformance.Soifbademotionsarise,youunderstandtherearewaysyoucanlearntocontroltheirimpactonyourperformance.Right?”
“Rogerthat.”
Hegavemeanoddlook.
“Yes,”Icorrected.
“Good.Thenyoualsoknowhowimagery,focusedbreathing,andrelaxationallhelptogiveusamentaledgeoverthecompetition.”
“Verytricky,”Iteasedhim.
“Beseriousnow,Danielsan,andpaycloseattention,becausetodaywemusttalkaboutanger...Weallgetangry;thisisnormal.Yetyoumustalwaysrememberthatifthewarriordoesnotcontrolhisangeritwillalwaysendupcontrollinghim.Andwhenthathappens,victorywillbemuchmoredifficult.Yousee,angerisanemotionalresponse.Beforetheemotionisallowedtotakecontrol,thewarriormustredirectitsenergy.Realchampionsworktodevelopanabilitytocontroltheirangersothatitcannothurttheirperformance.”
Igrappledwiththis:“Doyoumeanthattheyendupnolongerfeelingthiskindofemotion?”
“Notatall.Imeanthattheyhavelearnedhowtochannelsuchanemotionsothatitwon’taffecttheirfocusandperformanceinanegativeway.Withanger,
oncetheemotioncomesup—orboilsup!—realchampionsmakeadeliberatechoicetousetheenergybutnotallowthemselvestolosecontroltoitandfallvictimtoit.”
“How?”
“Theyaskthemselves,“Whoisinchargehere?—Myself?Orthisfuryinsidemyself?”Bythatsimpleact,thewarriorspiritbeginstoregaincontrol.Andthatcontrolbeginswithasimplechoice,adecision.Thewarriordecidestochanneltheangerintomakinghisresolvestrongerstill.Heredirectstheangerintotoughplay.Hecreatesastrongerresolvetobeatthecompetitionandtoraisehisownlevelofplay.Ratherthanlosingcontroltotheanger,hebecomeslikeasmilingassassin;he’smad,yes,butit’sacool,calculatingmad.Heisusingtheintensityandthepassionoftheemotion,yethedoesn’tlosecontroltoit.Thechampionknowsthatinordertoperformwellhemuststayincontrol.Howelsecanheexpecttocontrolhisperformance?”
“OK,sohowdoesonemanagetheintensityoftheemotion?”Iaskedhim.
“Italwaysstartswithachoicetonotletitcontrolyou.”saidLeo-tai.“Concentrateandusefocusedbreathingtohelpmanagetheintensity.Useinternalself-talkwithsuggestionslike:StayCool;Relax;BeCalm—tohelpyoustayincontrol.Imageryandrelaxationtechniquesarealsopowerfultoolsthatcanbeusedtomanagetheintensityofanangerreaction.Allofthese—workedonandpracticed—willhelp.Buttheremustfirst,alwaysbeachoice.
“AndDanielsan,ifyoushouldeverfeelthatyoumustventyouranger,rememberthatit'sbettertodoitprivately,sothatyoudonotshaketheconfidenceoftheteam’strustinyou.Toletthemseeyoulosecontrol,evenifyoufeltyouneededitforyourself,canonlyhurtthattrust.”
Remember:Ifangerarises,makethedecisiontonotletitcontrolyou.Redirectitsenergy;useittomakeyourresolvestronger.Becomelikethesmilingassassinthatseeshismark.
Chapter10:ShotsFired
Allthetypical,normalradiotrafficwasabruptlyshattered.“Shotsfired!Shotsfired!Agentdown!OneZeroEighttoControlweneedhelp!Agentdown!”
Oncallslikethatthecom-centerrespondswithathreebeepburstthatsignalseveryonetocleartheairwaves.Threeloud“Beeeeeps”,andthen:“Allunitsstandby—Shotsfired,ShotsFired.OneZeroEightsayyourlocation.”
“OneZeroEightneartheNorthwestcornerof5thandHines-Location3,we’vebeenambushed!Agentdownwithaheadwound!"Agentdown!"Youcouldheargunfireovertheradio,whiletheemotioninhisvoicesentchillsdownmyspine.
“Repeat—wearepinneddown,weneedbackup,weneedparamedicsatLocation3.TwoZeroNineisdownwithaheadwound.OhmyGod-hurry-sendhelp!”
“Allunits,allunits,shotsfired,agentdown,location3,allunitsrespond,”directedthevoicefromthecom-center.
Thecallstruckmelikeapunchintheface.Ishookoffmydisbeliefandjumpedintoaction.Iwaspartneringwiththecaseagentthatnight—anexperiencedandhighlyrespectedveteran.JakeandIlookedateachother.Thosewereourguysontheradio.Thiswasreallyhappeningtous.Aroutinesurveillancehadturneddeadlywithoutwarning.
WithinminutesotheragenciesofourFederaltaskforceandthelocalpolicewereresponding.Theybegantoasquicklyaspossiblesetupaperimeterbarrieraroundtheareainordertokeeptheshootercontained.Paramedicsandallavailableunitswereontheway.
Theideaistoclosetheperimeter.Noonegetsinorout.Oneofthetaskforceagenciesbegantosetupacommandpostatnearbyparkinglot.
High-levelnarcoticstraffickerscanberuthlesslyviolent.Tonightthey’dproveditonceagain.Myheartwaspoundingasweracedtowardsthescene.
Whensomethinglikethishappens,theonlypeopleontheradioshouldbethosethatareonthescene.Everyoneelseshouldbelisteningfordetails.Wherearetheshotscomingfrom?Whichdirectionshouldwenotapproachfrom?Whereisthedownedagent?Thegoalistoclearapathtohim,pushbackanyattack,andrenderimmediateaid.
Bythetimewespedontothesceneitwasgettingdark,theperimeterwasinplace,andtherewasanairshipoverhead.Ourimmediategoalwastoreachtheagentwhohadbeenshot.Asweapproachedtherewasapatrolcarguardingthepartoftheperimeterthatblockedouraccess.
“Can’tgoin,”saidoneoftheofficers.
Weidentifiedourselveswithcredentialsandbadges.
Despitethathestillrefused:“Sorry,guys.Thecommandpostsaysnooneinorout.”
“Thecommandpost?Listen,I’mthecaseagent,”Jakeasserted.“I’mtellingyoutomoveyourvehicleorI’llpushitoutofthewaywithmycar.Doyouunderstand?Wehaveanagentdowninthereandhispartneriscallingforhelp.We’regoingin!”
Theofficercomplied,movinghiscar.Asheclosedtheperimeterbehindusonceagain,theairshipaboveimmediatelynoticedusenteringandcameontheradioaskingustoIDourselves.(Ourundercovercarsdidn’thavelargeidentifyingnumbersontheroofaspolicecarsdo.)
“Fed2-7isrollingin.”Iresponded.
“Air-3toShop-2-7;beadvisedthatyouareheadingintothekill-zone.Stop.Donotproceed.Backup.”
Jakegrabbedthemicfrommyhand.“Air-3,—Fed2-7.Pointustowheretheagentsare—repeat—directustothelocationofthedownedagent.”
“Roger2-7,continuemovingstraightahead—northbound...”Butbeforetheycouldtellushowfarahead,oranythingmore,thecommandpoststeppedontheairship’stransmission.
“Fed2-7,youaretoreporttothecommandpostimmediately.”
JakeandIlookedateachother,wonderingwhowassendingtheseorderstous.
“Fed2-7reportbacktothecommandpostimmediately—acknowledge!”
Jakewasthinking.Finally,Jakeresponded.
“NegativeCP,Fed2-7willnotleavethearea.We’regoingintofindouragents.”
“2-7,exittheareaimmediately—wearewaitingforaSWATteam.That’sanorder!”barkedthevoiceovertheradio.
“Negative,”wasJake’sinstantresponse;asheturnedthevolumedownandlookedoveratme.
Bythistimewe’dbothrecognizedthevoiceasthatofasupervisoryagentwhojusthappenedtobedatingtheAssistantUSAttorneyassignedtothetaskforce.Forsomereasonhethoughthewasincharge.Therealitywasthathewasfromanotheragency,andhisowntrainingwasflawed.Hisexperiencewiththingslikethiswaszero,zip,nada;yethe’ddaredtoassumecontrol.Itwasclearthattheotheragencieslikedhisideaofwaitingarounduntilaspecialtacticalteamcouldarrive.Afterall,noonecouldsayforsurewheretheshooterwas.
“Okay,he’skeepingeverybodyoutandthey’relisteningtohim.Wearen’tgoingtogetanyhelpfromthem.They’reafraid.Ifwegobacktothecommandpostwe’llbetakenoutofthepicture.Areyoureadytomoveforwardanddothiswithme?”Jakeasked.
“Let’sgo.”Itoldhim.“Thechoppersaidstraightahead.”
Thensuddenly-twomoreshotsrangout.Webothduckedinstinctively.Ourguyswerestillunderfire.
Withthesniperstilloutthere,ourbestchanceofreachingourguyssafelyandperhapsspottingthesniper'smuzzleflash,wouldbeifwewereonfoot.Wehadourvests,ourMP-5's,our9mm’s,radiosandflashlights.Wespiltupandstartedtomovecarefullyupthestreetondifferentsides,usingthedarkness,thecars,thetreesandtheshrubsascover.Wemovedinthedirectionthatwe’dbeentoldourguyswouldbe,usingthetightorbitsoftheairshipoverheadasageneralguide.Untilfinally,aboutanotherblockawayinthedarkness,wesawwhatlookedlikeoneofourcars.Wemovedtowardsit.Itwastheircar.
WhenwearrivedatthescenethehorribledegreeofinjuryIsawonmyfriendmademeangry.Theotheragent,holdinghispartner’sheadtogether,lookedupatusblanklyandinshock.Wehadsnuckuponhim.Hewasdazed.“Ithought
youguysweren’tcoming,Howcometheyaren’tcomingin?”heasked.“Whattookyousolong?Where’sthebackup?Whyaren’ttheycomingin?”Hewasdistraught;ashecontinuedholdinghispartnersheadtogetherkneelingnexttohimandjustkeptrepeating,“Ithoughtyouguysweren’tcoming.Ithoughtnoonewascoming.”
“Lookatme,”Jaketoldhimasweallcrouchedlowalongsideofthevehicle.“We’rehere.Therewasneverapointwhenweweren’tcoming.Nowlistentome.Telluswheretheshotscamefrom.”Theagentpointed.WhileJakerenderedaidandtriedtogathermoreinformation,Iscannedthedarknessandcalledinourexactlocation.
“Fed2-7tocommandpostweneedback-upandarescueambulanceatlocation3.Wearetwohousessouthfromthecorner-weareonthewestside–expedite.”
“Negative,”repliedthecommandpost.
“Fed2-7needsarescueambulancenow!Agentdownwithaheadwound,”Igrowledintotheradio.
“Negative,”wasthereply.“Youguyswentinagainstorders,nowyoucanbringhimoutonyourown.NooneelsegoesinuntilSWATsecuresthearea.”
IglancedoveratJake,mybloodwasboiling.
Thiswasunbelievable.Seasonedagentsandpoliceofficerswerelisteningtothisandstandingbyactinglikecowardswhile“agentdown”callswerebeingignoredbecauseanincompetentwithrankhadtakencontrolofatrailerlabeled“CommandPost”andhadconveniently;putthemallonthesidelines.
Jakescellphonebegantoring.Bynowseveralmoreofourownguyshadbegunarrivingontheedgeoftheperimeterand,havingheardtheradiotransmissions,startedcallingJakedirectly.Theybegantopenetratetheperimeterjustaswehadandworktheirwayintowardsususingtheircarsastargets,whilewewatchedformuzzleflash.Afterhelpingusmovetheinjuredagentandhisshell-shockedpartnerintooneofthevehiclesthathadworkeditswaytous,wetransportedourguysoutofthekillzonewithoutanyhelpfromtheotheragenciesthatwerestandingby.
OnthewayoutwehadtostartrescuebreathingandCPR;bythetimewearrivedatthecommandpostweweredrenchedinblood.Wehurriedlytransferredthe
agentintotheambulance.
Notsendingintherescueambulancelikewe’drequestedhadcostourcolleagueprecioustime.Jakewasonhiscellphonewhenwebothsawhimcoming.“Staycool,”Jakeadvisedme.
Withnoconcernforouragent-hemadehisstatement,“You’rebothrelievedofduty,”hetoldus,wavinghisarmlikesomesortofmagician.“You’rebothoffthiscase.”
Jakeignoredhimasheputhiscellphoneawayandjumpedinsidetherescueambulancethatwasbeginningtorollawaywiththeinjuredagent.Helookedbackatme.
“Securethecrimescene,”heyelled.“IjustactivatedtheSWATteamandthedogs.”Andthenhewasgone.
“What?”Irepeated,amazed.Ijustcouldn’tbelieveit.ThedogsandtheSWATteamhadn’tevenbeencalled?
Whilecallingaroundforhelp,Jakediscoveredthatthecommandposthadyettoevenputoutacallforatacticalunit.Ifeltaviolentangertakingover.
WhenIturnedexpectingtoconfrontthe“incompetentincharge”hewasalreadyheadedbacktothecommandposttrailer.Ourguyslookedatme.Atthatinstant,Icouldseethingsgoinginaverybaddirection.Ididn'twanttodowhatLeo-tai’steachingsweretellingmetodo—butIdid-andIlethimgo.Iwatchedthesupervisoryagentandhisside-kickstepbackinsidethetrailer.
Itwastimetorefocus.“Let’sgosecurethecrimescene.”Itoldourguys.Andbackwecautiouslywentintothekillzoneonceagain,untilthetacticalteamandthedogseventuallyarrivedandfinallydeclaredtheareafreeofanysnipers.Theshooterwasgone.
I’djustmadeitbacktothecommandpostareawhenJake’scallcamethroughfromthehospital.Heletmeknowthatourfriendhaddied.
IrememberhowIlookedatthecommandposttrailerandthenforcedmyselftowalkacrossthestreettoseparatemyselffromit.
Iremembersittingdownandleaningupagainstatreeinsomebody’sfrontyardthatnight,asmyfeelingsofgriefbegantomixinwiththeangerthatIfelttowardsthesupervisorwhohadflatlyrefusedtolettherescueambulancein.
Irememberthinkinghowthesefeelingsseemedmuchtoopotentforanymanwithaguntohavegoingthroughhishead.
IrememberhowIusedfocusedbreathingandLeo-tai'swisdomthatnighttohelpkeepmefromconfrontingthatsupervisoryagent.
Irememberthinking,andtellingmyselfhowthiswasn'tover...
Butthatfortonight—rightnow,—ithadtobeover.
Remember:Youmustchoosetocontrolangerthroughadecision.Forifyoulosecontroltoanger—thentheangerwillsurelycontrolyou.
Chapter11:OnLosing
(Followingseveralmonthsofinvestigation,theshooterfromthepreviousstorywaslaterapprehendedandconvicted,theincompetentsupervisoryagentwasforcedout,andmypartnerJakereceivedanothercommendation.)
Mentalathletesunderstandthattheycan’talwayscontrolwhattakesplaceduringanevent.Thingsdon’talwaysgothewaywe’dlike,nomatterhoweverwell(andhoweverhard)we’veprepared.Howwedealwiththatreality—andhowwechoosetolookatthesituation—alwaysaffectswhatliesaheadforus.
So,eventhoughwecan’talwayscontrolthewaythingsunfold,atleastwecanalwayscontrolthewaywerespondtotheevent.Mentalwarriorsfocusonwhattheycancontrol,notonthe“whatif's”orthe“ifonly's.”Beingabletochoosehowonerespondstoanunwelcomeeventisacriticalskill.Ithaseverythingtodowithhowwellwegetonwithourgame—andevenwithourlives.
Mentalathletesknowthatnobodywinsallofthetime.Notinlife,notinsports.Whenthingsdon’tgotheirwaytheyknowit’sOKtobedisappointed.What’snotOKisdwellingonthedisappointment.
Championskeepitinperspective.Theyareabletoacceptresponsibilityandrecognizethesituationasatemporarysetbacknothingmore,nothingless.Yesithurts,sotheylookatit,learnfromit,andthenletitgo.I’velostmyself,ofcourse.Infact,thatwashowImetLeo-taiinthefirstplace...
IwasyoungmartialartistcompetingintournamentsandI’djustlostamajorinternationalcompetition—worsestill,onethatI’dbeenreallyexpectingtowin.Iwashavingatoughtimewiththeloss.
Peoplekepttellingme,“Youstilldidgreat!”—Butrunner-upwasn’twhatI’dwantedtobe.Astimewentbyinresponsetomyannoyancewithmyself,mytrainingtailedoff,mydeterminationflagged,andeverythingseemedeithertooboringortoodifficulttofussabout.Iwasslackingoff.
IrememberanolderkidaskingmeonceifIhadeverheardofCoachLeo.
“Idon’tthinkso,”Isaid.“Whatdoesheteach?”
“MostlyShaolin—ChineseKickboxing,butheteachesotherthingstoo.Hereallyhelpedmeoncewithmytraining.”
“Sohow’dhehelpthen?”Iasked,interested.
“Callhim,here’shisnumber.Heonlyteachessmallclasses.Tellhimyouknowme.”
Icarriedthatsheetofpaperaroundwithmeforabouttwoweeks.FinallyIthought,“Well,whathaveIgottolose?Icalledhimandtoldhimaboutmyself.CoachLeolistenedquietlyonthephone,somuchsothatIbegantowonderifhe’dwanderedofforhungup.
“Cometomorrow,”hetoldme,andthatendedourconversation.
Whenthenextdaycame,Ialmostdidn’tgo.Ikeptaskingmyself;whydidIcallthiscoach?Iwaslookingforareasontomissourappointment.ButbeforeIknewit(anddespitemybesteffortstotalkmyselfoutofit)Iwoundupknockingonhisdoorandthentherehewas.Amedium-sized,elderly,ratherstoicfigure,hisfacecalmandgenuine.
“Danielsan,”hesaid,andpaused.
“Danielwhat?”
"Danielsan.Youlookverymuchlikeyourolderbrother,pleasecomein."Hesaid.
“Youknewmybrother?”Iasked.ThensuddenlyIrealizedthatIhadindeedheardofCoachLeobefore!OnlyIhadneverheardhimcalledthatbecausemybrotherhadalwayscalledhimLeo-tai...AsfarbackasIcanremember,Leo-taihadalwaystaughtmyolderbrotherhowtofight.MybrotherwasteachingmewhenhewasdraftedandsenttoVietnam.Afterwelosthiminthewar,asIgrewupI’doftenfoundmyselfwonderingaboutLeo-tai.Andnow,asfatewouldhaveit,somanyyearslater,herehewasinfrontofme,mybrother’soldinstructor.Wasthisacoincidence?Headspinning,Isteppedinside.Ilookedaround.Heappearedtoliveassimplyasamonk.
SomehowIfounditeasytobehonestwithhim,knowinghowmybrotherhadlovedhim.Aftersometea,andhavingbroughthimuptodatewiththenarrativeofmytournamentloss,Ifinished.Hesmiledandthenspoke.
"Thisloss—youmustletitgo.Truechampionskeepsuchalossinperspective."Hesaid."Youmustlookatitlongenoughtolearnfromit—butthenyoumustletitgo."
EasiersaidthandoneIthought,butwhatapowerfulideajustthesame."Letitgo."Ilethisadvicesinkin.
Letitgo,Itoldmyself,andIslowlybegantoallowtheweightofthelosstogetliftedfrommyshoulders.
Learnfromit—andletitgo.Whatcouldbesimpler,ormorehealing,thanthat?
Buthewasn’tfinishedwithmeyet.HeleanedforwardasiftomakesureIwaspayingattention.
“Rememberthatchampionsneverplaytheblamegame.Theypickthemselvesupandstartworkingonwhat’scomingupnext.Theyholdtheirheadshigh,evenwhenthatisn’teasytodo.Theypushthemselvestomoveforward.Theyknowthatthisishowithastobe...Theyneverforgetthatifyoudon’tfailsometimes,thenyouprobablyaren’tchallengingyourselfatahighenoughlevel.”
Atthedoor,hesaidwithasmile,“IwantyoutopickyourselfupDanielsan;Iwantyoutopersist.Onceyouarereadytodoso,thencomeback.”
AndthatwasthebeginningofmyfriendshipwithLeo-tai.
IrememberleavinghissimplehomethatnightandthinkingofhowgladIwasathavingfoundmybrother’steachersomanyyearslater.Iwasstillonlyateenager;andIknewthatIwasjustatthebeginning—butI’llneverforgetthefeelingIhadasIwalkedbackthewaythatIhadcome,thefeelingofknowingsomehowthatmylifehadjusttakenanunexpectedandmostinterestingturn.
Remember:Championsfocusonwhattheycancontrol.Theyknowthatwhiletheycan’talwayscontrolwhattakesplaceduringanevent,theycanalwayscontrolhowtheyrespondtoanevent.Withineverysetbackliesthehiddenopportunityforagreatcomeback.
Chapter12:FearofFailure
Askyourselfthis:whattypeofcompetitorareyou?Areyouthekindwholikestoplayitsafeandjustdoalright?Orareyouthekindwho’swillingtotakeachanceonpossiblyfailinginordertoaccomplishsomethingamazing?Morethananythingelse,it’safearoffailurethatkeepspeoplefromachievingtheirfullpotentialinsports,inlife,inbusiness—ineverything.
Fearingfailureismorethanjustabadthing.Thebottomlineis,inordertobegoodinyoursportorwhateveritisthatyoudo,yousimplycan’tbeafraidoffailing,andhere’swhy.Beingafraidtofailactuallyhelpscreatetheconditionsthatmakefailuremorelikely!
Fearoffailurecausesalotofproblems.Itrestrictsyou.Thewrongtypesofthoughtsresultinshortnessofbreath,tightmuscles,andanoverloadofstress...Worsestill,fearoffailingcancauseacompetitortostartplayingitsafe.Insteadofrisinguptomeetthechallenge,hesubconsciouslyshrinksfromit.
Ontheotherhand—andthisistheimportantpoint—onceacompetitorlearnstoovercomethefearoffailing,hischancesofsucceedingincreasedramatically.
Inreality,fearoffailureisnothingmorethanaperceivedpsychologicalthreattoyouregoandself-esteem.Whattypicallycausesafearoffailingisthestateofmindthattakesholdwhenacompetitorisafraidoflookingbad,orelseissuchaperfectionistthathe’sbecomeoverlyself-critical.Ineithercase,hisinternalstateendsupholdinghimback,whetherhe’sawareofitornot.
Adultsaremorethancapableofwreckingtheirownchanceswithfearoffailure.However,withchildren,parentsandcoachesmustbeextracareful.Oftentheadultsaretheonescreatingthisbuild-upofnervousstressinthechildathlete’sinternalworld.Injectingthewrongemotionalinputintoachild’soccasionalfailurecanruinthechild’sloveoftheirsportandevendestroytheirconfidence.
Withchildrenit’sespeciallycrucialthatwehelpbuildself-esteem,nottearitdown.Parentsneedtogoeasyonthecriticism.Parentsshouldn’tactout.It’sthattypeofadultbehaviorthatcancauseachild'sfearoffailure.
Inordertoavoidtheinternalstatethatcausesthefearoffailure,thementalathletemustfirstcometolookatfailureinanentirelydifferentwayfrommostpeople.Hehastolearntoacceptthattheonlywaytoaccomplishanythinggreatistoriskfailingatitfirst.Hehastoacceptthatwithoutoccasionalfailureshecanneverhopetogetbetter.Hehastounderstandthatonthepathtogreatnesssomefailuresareinevitable.Andwhenhedoeslose,thementalathletehastomakeaconsciousdecisiontolearnfromthatfailure.Ratherthanabandoninghimselftotheluxuryofmisery,hewillmethodicallyshutdownthatdestructivevoiceofinternalself-criticisminfavoroflookingatfailureasvaluablefeedback.
Thus,whenheexperiencesfailurehelearnswhat,outofallhistraining,stillisn’tworking.Helearnshowtofailconstructively.Thementalathletewon’tallowafearoffailuretoholdhimbackfromgreatness.Bylearningtolookatfailuredifferently,topcompetitorsareabletoentercompetitionwithoutafearoffailure.Whenthereisnofearoffailureonegainsanimportantadvantage.
Afterall,considerthis;thereisnooneinhistory,inoroutsideofsports,whoeverrosetogreatnesswithouthavingoncefailed.Politicianshavelostelections.Generalshavelostbattles.Millionaireshavefailedinpriorbusinessventures.BehindeveryOlympicgoldmedalliehundredsofsecondandthirdplacefinishes.
Thinkaboutit.
Remember:Fearoffailureiscausedbynotknowinghowtofailconstructively.Theonlywaytoaccomplishanythinggreatistoriskfailingatitfirst.Ifyouhaveafearoffailing,it’smorethanjustabadthing.Itcanactuallycrippleyourchancesofsuccess.
Chapter13:ControllingFear
Onedayheaskedmeaboutfear.
“Insidetheeyeofacyclone,Danielsan,thereispeace—whilejustoutside,thecycloneunleashesallitsfuryandpower.ThisishowitmustbefortheMentalWarrioralso.”
ItoldhimhowI’doncebeensoawareoffearthatIsensedhowitcouldbecomeoverwhelming.DuringmyaviationtrainingintheNavy,IadmitthatIgottoknowthetypeoffearthatnear-drowningcanbringon.Inearlydrownedonacoupleofoccasionsduringtraining.Thetruthis,tryastheymighttokeepitfromhappening;peopledieinthattypeoftrainingprogrameveryyear.It’sjustthenatureofthesituation.
Allthedeep-watersurvivaltrainingisdonewearingfullflightgear,includinghelmetandboots,withnofloatation.Youhavetousethetechniquestaughtandlearntoavoiddrowningdespiteeverythingthat’sweighingyoudownandtryingtopullyouunder.Itcanbeexhausting.Oneday,thankstomylackoftechnique,Ilearnedwhatthefearassociatedwithbelievingyouaregoingtodrownfeltlike.Irememberthedarkgreenglazeofthewater,mylastgraspedbreath,theglimpseofapalebluesky,andthenmylastthoughtasIwentunder:
Ihopetheynoticedahelmetsinking...
Theworstandscariesttrainingsessionswerecalledthehelo-dunker.Imaginebeingstrappedintoahelicoptersimulatorwithaco-pilotandfourothercrew.Onceeveryoneisstrappedin,theentireapparatusisdroppedintoatrainingtankofwaterfromaroundtwentyfeetup.Nooneisallowedtomoveuntilthe“aircraft”sinksdownabouttwentyfeet,whereitisrotatedoncables,turnedoverandup-endedinordertodisorientateeveryone.Oncethemovementstops,youhavetocountdownfromten,afterwhichallsixonboardhavetofindtheirwayoutofaspecifichatchdesignatedbytheinstructorsjustbeforethedropintothewater.Everyonemustdothiswearingswimgogglesthatareblacked-outinordertomakehimcompletelyblind.It’saninterestingsituationthatcaneasilyleadtopanic.
Inordertogetoutsafelyofcourse,thetrickisnottopanic,releaseyoursafetyharness,andneverloseyourreferencepoint.Onehandmustalwaysbegrabbingsomepartoftheaircraftinteriorasyouworkyourwayout.Youneverreleasethereferencepointyouhaveuntilyourotherhandreachesoutandgrabsanewone.Soevenasyoufloatupsidedown,disorientedintotaldarkness,theoneholdthatyoualwayshave,givesyourinnermindthereferencepointitneeds,andbyusingyourmind’seye,youareabletofindyourwaytotherequiredexithatch.
Oneofmyroommateshadtobepulledoutbyrescuediverswhenhepanickedandfailedtogethisharnesstorelease.Healmostdrowned.Thefearonhisfacewhenhewashelpedoutofthewaterwasreal.Andsincehehadfailed,weallfailed.Withouthesitation,heandtherestofuswereallimmediatelyloadeduptotryagain.Therewasnotimetodwellonhisnear-drowningexperience;insteadwewereallstrappedbackinagain—andagain—andagain.Untilweallgotitright,untilweallbeatourfearofdrowning.
"Thosemusthavebeenveryintensefeelings."Leo-taisaid."Afterall,fearisanormalresponsetosomethingdangerousorthreatening.Whilemanywouldsaythatfearishealthy,itisnogoodiffearseizescontrol,especiallywhenwemayhavetosaveourselvesorsaveothers.Fearcanruinourpotentialtoperform."
“Sohowcanyoustopfearfromseizingcontrol?”Iasked.
"Controllingfearinvolvestwothings:achoiceandastrategy.Thechoiceiswhetherwetrulychoosetoconfrontthefear;andthenthestrategyishowwegoforward,havingmadethechoicetodoso.NaturallyintheNavytheymadethechoiceforyouandyouwereforcedtoconfrontyourfears.Theyappliedtheirstrategywhetheryouguyslikeditornot,andsopushedyoubeyondyourfears.”
Leo-tailookedmestraightintheeyes.
“Fearcancreatetension,doubt,anxiety,lossofcoordination,andlossofconcentration.Intheworstcases,fearcanevenbegineffectivelyshuttingdownneuro-muscularconnections!Someonewhoisafraidnaturallytendstoshifttheirfocusontowhatcangowrong,andwhentheydothat,Danielsan,mistakesbegintohappen—typicallytheverymistakestheyaremostfearfulofmaking."
“Iseewhatyou’resaying,howthethoughtofsomethinggoingwrongcanmakeitworse,”Iagreed.
“Fearcancausethewarriortofocusonthenegative.Thefearfulcompetitorcan
becomeover-cautious,anddecideto‘playitsafe’—insteadofplayingtowin.
Fearcanturnacompetitorfromsomeonetryingtowin,intosomeonetryingnottolose.Oncethatconfidenceisgone,anyadvantagethatthewarriormayhavehadoverhisopponentbeginstodisappear.”
“Buthowdoyoumanagefear?”
Leo-taismiledatmyquestion.“Whereisthefear?Fearhappensinsideyourhead,andthusitcanbemanaged.Acertainamountoffearenergyisnormalincompetitiveordangeroussituations.What’simportantistonotletitgrowoutofcontrol—andtoknowwhattodoincaseitdoes.Rememberthis:achampionknowsthatfearisonlyaspowerfulasheletsitbecome.Fearofsomethinginthefuture—oreveninthepast,forthatmatter—canalsobeatremendouslypowerfulexperience.Thereforeitisimportantandnecessarytotakebacksomeofthepoweroftheemotion.TheWarrior/Championdoesthisbybringinghimselfbackintothepresentmoment,andtheeasiestwaytodothat,Danielsan,istofocusandwatchyourbreathing.Youmustbringyourbreathingundercontrolinordertogroundyourselfinthepresent.”
“Youmean,makeadecisiontofocusonyourbreathing?”
“Exactly.That’swherewestart.Youmustfocusandbreatheinacontrolledway.Watchyourbreathing.Controlyourbreathing.Doingthishasacalmingeffect;butmoreimportantly,itbringsyoubackintothepresentmoment.Onceyouareback,onceyouhavereturnedtothepresentyou(oranywarrior)mustthenfacehisfear.”
“Confrontyourfear.”Isuggested.
“Indeed.Askyourselfwhatyouaresoafraidof.Confrontitrationally.Thisyoumustdobeforeyoucanfaceyourfeardownandsetofftodowhateveritisthatyoumustdo.Recallingtimeswhenyouhavebeensuccessfulinthepastorsuccessfulduringtrainingcanhelpshutdownfear.Recallinghowwellyoutypicallyperform,howmuchyoulovethesport,thecompetition,thechallenge,orhowwellyoudoyourjobcanalsoprovehelpful.Then,youmustdecideuponastrategyandmoveaheadandembracethechallengesetbeforeyoudespiteanyfear.”
Itallsoundedpossibleandevenempowering,butIstillhadonequestion.
“HowdoIpreventthenegativethoughtsthathelpmakemefearful?”Iasked.
“Interruptthem,"hesaid,"Theinstantthatyounoticethem.Replacethem—drownthemout—withpositiveself-talkandimages.Youmustredirecttheenergyoffearandchannelitintoself-confidence.Thisisonewaythatyoucanbegintotransformtheenergy.”
Hethenrose.“Thereisonlyoneenergypriortoaconfrontationoramajorchallenge;andtheenergyistellingyoutogetready.Ifyoufeeltheenergytobemorelikefearratherthanself-confidence—rememberthatitishappeninginyourhead.Againstfear,Danielsan,youmusthavethespiritofattack,againstfear,onecanalwayswin.”
Remember:Againstfear,onecanalwayswin.Confrontthefearandthenengageastrategytomoveforwarddespitethefear.
Chapter14:OnPerformanceChoking
Leo-taiandIwerediscussinganationalcompetition,whichwe’djustwatchedtogether.
“Haveyouevernoticed,”hemused,“Howsometimes,evenwhenanathlete’sperformanceseemstobegoingreallywell,thatit’salmostasifsomesortofstresstakesholdoftheirentiregameandeverythingstartsgoingdownhillforthem?”
HowinterestingIthought:he’ssoright.Whyisitthatbigleadsandstrongadvantagesallseemtocrumbleanddisappearunderpressuresometimes?Noplayerisimmunetoit;evengreatchampionssometimesfallvictimtoit.Intheend,eventheywilladmitthat,atonetimeoranother;theytoohave“choked.”
“Sowhatcausesit,”Iasked,“Andwhatcanbedonetofightit?Whatabouttheguyinthetournament?Didhejustsuddenlybecomeafraidoflosing?”
“Inaway,butnotexactly,becauseachokingepisodebeginswhenacompetitivesituationthreatenstheathlete’sego,”saidLeo-tai.“It’salittlelikehavingafearoffailure–butchokinggoesbeyondthefearbecausechokingistheactualphysicalresponsethat'striggeredbythepsychologicalthreattotheego.Chokingismorethanjusthavingafearoffailure–fearisinyourhead.Chokinghappenswhenperformanceisactuallyaffectedbythenervousness,stress,andworriesaboutlookingbadifthingsgowrong.It’sverydifferentfromthefearoffacingadangerousorlife-threateningsituation.Thesearesubtledistinctions,butbigdifferences.”
“Yes,”Iadmitted,“ButI’mnotsurethatIcantellthedifference.”
“Perhapsthat’sbecausethephysicalsymptomsbroughtonaresosimilar.Butrememberthattheircausesaredifferent.Nervousnessandstressineithersituationwillaffectanathlete’sbreathingpatterntothepointwherethedeliveryofoxygentothebrainandmusclessuffers,andhebeginstofeelanxiety.Asan
ineffectivebreathingpatternkicksin,hisperformancebeginstosufferjustwhenheneedshisskillsthemost,justwhenthepressure’sreallyon.However,chokingisactuallycausedbyanegothat’sworriedaboutlookingbad,notbyanyrealorperceiveddanger.”
“Sowhatcouldthatchampionhavedone?”
Leo-taishookhishead.“Hismistakewasthathelethisfearoflookingbadtakeholdandgainmomentum;bringingonthenervousnessandanxietythatcausedtheactualchokingreaction.Whatheneededtodowastostartusingfocusedbreathing,thusbeginningtoreduceanxietyonthespot.Asoneusesfocusedbreathingoneisabletobegintorelax.Oxygenfillsthebody,reanimatingthemusclesandcausinganxietytosubside.Supplenessreturns,bringingrenewedconfidencewithit.Feeltherelaxationasyouexhale;asyoubegintobringanxietyundercontrol,thingsbegintogetbetterforyou.”
Leo-taiswitchedofftheTV.
“Inthesecasesonemustusefocusedbreathingtohelpbringyoubackintocontrol,backintothepresent,andtoallowyourselftofeelthepressuresubside...ButDanielsan,remember:sincechokingspringsfromyourego,it’snotenoughtoaddressthephysicalsymptomsalone,althoughit’sOKtostartwiththem.Assoonasfocusedbreathingbeginstohelp,youmustalsotakecontrolbackfromtheego.”
“Goon,”Isaid.
“Todothis,momentarilypickafocuspointinyourimmediateenvironmentandfixyoureyesonitasyoucontinueyourfocusedbreathing.Thiswillhelpshiftthefocusawayfromyourselfandtorefocusontheparticulartaskathand.Theoutsidefocushelpsustoreducetheegofocus—whichisreallywhatiscausingalltheproblemsinthefirstplace...Onceanathletereallyunderstandswhatcauseschokinghecansetouttoshutitdownsothathecanimmediatelybegintorefocusonthechallengeathand,andkeepitfromgettingworse.Onceyouseechokingforwhatitreallyis,youcanavoidtheexperiencehappeningtoyoubyusingthisstrategy.Learntoleaveyouregooutsideofyourevent,oritwillalwaysendupgettingintheway.”
Remember:Performancechokingiscausedbyanegothatisafraidoflookingbad.Youmustlearntoleaveyouregooutsideofyourevent.
Chapter15:CoolUnderPressure
Ihadbeenseveralyearsoutofthemilitary—andI’djustbeenputthroughthemill.TheFederalagentsquestioningmereviewedtheirnotes,exchangedglanceswitheachother,andthenturnedtowardsme.
“You'refreetogo,”saidtheSpecialAgentinCharge,“That’lldo.”
Iglancedatmywatch,surprisedtorealizethatovertwohourshadgonebywithoutmynoticing.DuringthosehoursIhadbeengrillednon-stopbyallthetopsupervisoryagentsintheDistrictOffice.IsupposedthereasonwasbecauseIwasupagainstalotofstrongcompetitors.Atanyrate,Irose,noddedmythanks,andheadedforthedoor.
JustbeforeIreachedit,theleadagentcalledmeback.
"Oh,justonemorething,"hesaid."Ihaveonefinalquestion,ifyoudon'tmind?”
"Notwithoutmylawyer."Itoldhim,withastraightface.
Theyallsmiled;onechuckled.(Wow,Ithought:thesepeopledohaveasenseofhumor.)
“I‘venoticedthatyou’vehadsomevaluabletrainingandexperienceasasportsmentaltrainer.Ican’thelpwonderingifyouwereusinganyofthosementaltechniquesthatyouteachathletesduringtheinterviewtoday.”
Ilookedathimstraightintheeyes.
“Absolutely,”Itoldhim.“OfcourseIusedmentaltechniquestoday.”
Laterhetoldmehowhenoticedthatthepressurethatthepanelwassogoodatcreatingandthattheyhadusedsosuccessfullytorattleotherapplicantshadappearedtohavehadnoeffectonmeatall...AndsobeganmycareerasaSpecialAgent.
Pressure.Intensepressure.Ihadknownplentyofitinthemilitary.Ifthere'sonethingthatmostathleteswilltellmetheywanttheirmentaltrainingprograms
tohelpthemwithrightaway,it'sbeingabletoperformbetterunderpressure.
Ofcourse,feelingthepressureofcompetitionisnotinitselfabadthing;itcanactuallyhelptobringoutthebestinyou.It’sreallyhowyoudealwithitthatmakesthedifference.Whateveryoumaythink,thetruthisthatallthepressureyoufeelreallycomesfrominsideyourself.Onceyouunderstandthis,youcanbegintofreeyourselftodowhatyouarereallycapableof.
So,howdoesstressandpressureadverselyaffectperformance?
Coordination,concentration,andjudgmentareallaffected.Yourheartbeatsfaster,yourbreathingspeedsup,youcan’tthinkasclearlyasusual.Often,pressurecreatestensionthatcanpushyoutotryandgetthroughsomethingquicker.Yetwhenyouyieldtothisimpulsetorush,you’llactuallyperformworse.
Notknowinghowtohandlepressurewillcertainlyaffectoverallperformance.Thiscanbetheundoingofanyperformer:whetherintheboardroom,ontheconcertstage,orwhileengagedintop-levelsports.Thefirstthingyouhavetolearnishowtostaycool.Thisisprobablythebiggestsingledifferencebetweenatypicalcompetitorandamentalathlete.
Thementalathletehaslearnedhowtostaycalmandtask-focusedunderpressure.Heknowsthatstayingcoolispartofhissuccessformula.Sohesetsouttomanagethepressure—whichbeginsbyfirstrecognizingthatit’sOKtofeelthepressure.Hedoesn’tdenyhisnerves,buthedoesn’tgiveintothemeither.
Herearesomeofthetried-and-testedtechniquesthementalathleteshouldlearntouseinordertohelphimtostaycalmandtask-focusedunderpressure:
Learntoconcentrateandusefocusedbreathing.Theathletecanbringhimselfbacktothepresentmomentbytraininghimselftousehisbreathingtohelpsecurecontrolwhentheheatison.
Inpressuresituations,makesuretolettheairreachintotheverybottomofyourlungs.Filleverycornerofyourbodywithlife-giving,life-enhancingoxygen.
Then,asyoureleasethebreath,releaseanytensionandanxietyalongwithit.Noticethefeelingofrelease—andthefeelingofcontrol.Focusedbreathingwillhelpreducethepressureandkeepyougroundedinthepresent.
Anathletecanalsohelptakethepressureoffbyusingmusclerelaxationskills.
Havingdevelopedthisskillthroughpracticeoutsidethecompetitiveenvironment,theathleteequipshimselfwithaninvaluabletactictouseagainstthebuildingtensionandpressurethathemaybefeelinginacompetitiveenvironment.Theabilitytoinstantlyrelaxmusclesnotonlyrelievestension,butalsoservestocalmyourmindandreducethepressuresyou’refeeling.Withalittlepracticeyoucangetreallygoodattriggeringphysicalrelaxationquickly.BesuretolearnandpracticetheinductiontechniqueintroducedinChapter7,whichisextremelypopularamongtheworld’stopathletesandperformers.
Someathletesfindthattheydealbestwithperformancepressuresbyusingcopingaffirmations.Theabilitytotalkyourselfthroughapressuresituationisanimportantskill.Copingaffirmationsarepowerfulbecausetheyhelpyoutodealwiththepressure—nottopretendthatthepressuredoesn’texist.Manychampionscreateandhavetheirownpersonalaffirmations.(I’mgood;I’mfast;I’mstrong;thisismytime;believe;Idominate.)Whattheymaybedoesn’tmatteraslongastheyhelpyoutakethepressureoffyourself.Createthreequickaffirmations(positivestatements)youcanfireofftoyourselftocomplementthebreathingandrelaxationtechniquesmentionedabove.
Anothermethodsomeathletesusetodealwithpressureissimplythinkingaboutsomethingthatrelaxesthem.Somedothiswhilewearingheadphoneslisteningtowhateveritmaybethathelpsthemtakethepressureoffthemselves.Theymaybesittingintheirchairatacrossoverinaseriousinternationaltennismatch,butthey’reactuallynolongerthere.Intheirminds,theyhavetransportedthemselvessomewhereelse,perhapstoatranquilmountainstreamwheretheysitpeacefullyasthesunreflectsintherunningwater.How’sthatforasimpleapproachthatcanmakeabigdifference?Besuretotakethetimetopracticeanddevelopthistypeofmentalfocus.
Somechampionsadmittousingatechniquefromsportspsychologywheretheyallowthemselvestoletgooftheneedtoachieveanyparticularoutcome.Thisisallaboutfeelingthepressure—andthenwarmlyacceptingit.Suchathletesapproachperformanceswiththeexhilarationofknowingthatalltheirhardtrainingisabouttopayoffandthatit’stimetogooutandenjoyperformingtheirsport.Theysetouttocompetewiththefeelingthattheyhavenothingtolose.Confidentthattheiryearsofsolidtrainingwilltakeover,theyletgoofanyremainingworriesandsetouttoperformwithuninhibitedabandon.Someathletestalkabouthavingexperiencedtheirgreatestmomentinsportsthroughreleasingthemselvesfromanyfearoffailure.
Inotherwords,notbeingfocusedontheoutcomeallowedthemtobecomeenjoyablyabsorbedintheprocess.Onecansensethisattitudeattimeswhenayouthfulchallenger“takeson”atopseed.He(orshe)isalmostcarefreewiththesensethatthey,atleast,havenothingtolose.Somespectacularupsetshavehappenedwhenachallengerhasconvincedhimselftoreleasetheweightofhisownexpectationsinthisway.Afterwards,suchathletessometimesdescribehowtheyweren’tworriedaboutdoingwell,howtheybecamecompletelyimmersedintheactivityofthemoment.Theirchancesofachievingtheoutcomethattheydesiredincreaseddramaticallywhentheytookthepressureoffthemselvesandletgooftheneedtoachieveanyspecificoutcome.
Otherathleteshavearitualorpre-gameroutinethattheyliketostickwithandthathelpsthemdealwiththepressure.Ifthisisyou(anditworks)whymesswithit?
Andfinally,oneotherapproachistorecallatimewhenyoumanagedapressurizedsituationreallywell.Gobackinyourmind’seyeandtakenoteofexactlywhatyoudidright.Whatworked?Whatdidyoudo?Wereyoustillforawhilebeforegoingintothematch?Wereyouabletoloseyourselfinthemoment?Whatwasyourself-talklike?Whatwasgoingoninsideyourheadthathelpedyoureducethepressure?Pinpointit.Noticingthethingsthathelpedyoudealwithpressureinthepastcanmakesitpossibleforyoutoaccessthosetechniquesagain.Acompetitorwhoisnotfeelingthepressurecaneasilyendupdefeatingonewhoactuallyplaysbetterthantheydo.Learninghowtomanagepressurecanhelpyououtperformothers.Ifthereisanythingthatworkedforyouandhelpedyouwithpressureinthepast,pinpointit,andthenkeepusingit.
Remember:Pressureismental.Learntoviewperformancepressureasachallengethatcanbemanagedbyusingmentaltechniques,andpre-gameroutines.
Chapter16:TheInternalCritic
AsItransitionedmoreandmoreintocoaching,Leo-taiandIoftenspokebyphone.InthosedaysheenjoyedhearingabouttheworkthatIwasdoingatalargeuniversityastheMentalEdgeTrainerfortheathletesonthevariousteams.
OnedayIexplainedtohimhow,afterthewrestlingcompetitions,theheadcoachandIwouldreviewallthetapes.Thenhow(onebyone)eachwrestlerwasbroughtintositdownandwatchhistapewithus.Mostlytheheadcoachwouldmakesuggestionsregardingtechniqueorstrategy.AfewdayslaterIwouldreviewsomeofthetapesagainwiththeguyswhohadn’tdonesowell.ButthistimeIaskedtheathletestorecallwhattheirself-talkwasduringthetoughestpartsofthematch.
“Verygood.”saidLeo-tai.“Youfoundsomethingincommon?”
“Wecertainlydid.”Isaid.“Theonethingwefoundthattheyallhadincommonwasthattheyallhadnegativeself-talkgoingonwhenthingsweregoingreallybadly.Bywatchingthemselvesontape,theywereabletorememberexactlywhattheywerethinkingatthetime.Andineverycaseofpoorperformance,whenthingsweregoingreallybadly,theself-talkgoingthroughtheirheadswasterrible.Theirowninternaldialoguewassettingthemuptoperformworseandworse.Atthepreciseinstanceswhentheyneededalltheirresolveinordertobeabletoturnthingsaround,theirself-talkwasbusytearingthemdown.”
“Interesting,”Leo-taisaidquietly.
“Sowe’dplaythetapeagain;onlythistimetheexercisewastohavetheathletesverbalizepositiveself-talkasthingsgotbad.I’dsay,letmehearthepositiveself-talkofachampionwhomightbehavingatoughtimeinthematchbutwhoabsolutelyrefusestotalkhimselfdown.Thenwe’dplaythefilmagain.Thatexercisereallyopenedtheireyes.Theylearnedthat—especiallywhenthingsaretough—it’simportanttolistenonlyforthepositiveself-talkofachampionwhoisfocusedonworkinghiswaythroughadversity.”
AtthispointLeo-taiofferedupanobservation.
“VerygoodDanielsan,youtaughtthemtoshutdowntheInternalCritic.Youtaughtthemtoalwayslistenfortheself-talkthatsoundsmorelikeapositivecoachratherthananegativecritic.Youhelpedthemunderstandthatifthereisanyself-talkgoingonitmustbepositive,encouraging,andempowering.Thisiskeybecausejustlikethoughtscreateemotionsthataffectthewaywefeel,socanself-talkaffectthewaywefeel,andthewaywefeelaffectsthewaythatweperform.YoudidwellinteachingthemthattheWarrior/ChampionalwaysshutsdowntheInternalCriticbecauseheunderstandsthathemust.”
Remember:Especiallywhenthingsareattheirworst,yourself-talkmustbepositive,encouraging,andempowering.ShutdowntheInternalCritic.
Chapter17:TooIntense
Sometimesincompetitivesituationsanathletecanactuallygettooenergizedbeforethestartofcompetition,thussabotaginghisownperformance.Youseeitalotingrapplingtournamentswhere(duetosheerover-enthusiasm)someamateurathletesrevuptheirenginestofeverpitchbeforeevensteppingoutontothemat.Whattheyfailtounderstandisthatcomingintoohighontheperformancecurvewillactuallyenduphurtingtheirperformance.
Yearsago,thiskepthappeningtoanathletethatIwashelpingtotrain.Nomatterhowmuchhevisualizedcalmness,coolnessandcontrol,nosoonerdidthedayofthecompetitiondawnthanhewascracklingwithanticipationandincapableofeveneatingforsheerexcitement.Theresultwasthat,althoughhetendedtostartoutpowerfully,hewastooenergized,andithurthisperformance.Hiscompetitorssoonhadhimonthedefensive.Thiswasveryfrustratingforhim,untilhelearnedthroughpracticehowtoadjustthelevelofintensityatwhichheenteredintocompetition.Bylearningtoadjusthisintensitydownbyjustanotchortwoasheenteredcompetition,theathletebegantowinmoreoften.
Agoodmentalathletelearnsearlyonatwhatlevelofintensityheplayshisbestgame.Onascaleofonetoten(withtenbeingatthemostintenselevel)mosttopathletesreportthattheyperformbestataroundlevelssevenoreight.Occasionally,ofcourse,theymayneedtocallontheirfullintensity,and“raisetheirgame”tonineorten.Buttheystillknowthatthisisnottheideallevelofintensityatwhichtoenteracompetition.
Bygettingtoknowatwhatlevelofintensityheshouldbegin,thementalathletehasabigadvantage.Heishelpingtocreatetheconditionsneededinorderforhimtoperformreallywell.Hemanageshisintensitysoitdoesn’tinterferewithhisbestgame.It’sasimpleconceptthatcanmakeavitaldifference—yetsofewamateursareawareofit!Youcan’trevyourselfuptoalevelteneachtimeandexpecttoconsistentlyperformatyourbest.Yourneuro-muscularconnectionsareabletodeliverbetterphysicaltechniqueasyoulearntothrottlebackyourlevelofintensity.
Self-analysisandadvicefrompeopleyoutrustwillhelpyoutopinpointpreciselyatwhatlevelofintensityyougenerallyfindyourbestgame.Trytomakeanoteofwhatpre-gameroutineworkedtohelpgetyoutotheexactlevelwhereyouaremosteffective,andthenpracticearrivingatyouridealintensitylevelatexactlytherightmoment.Learntomanageallthatvaluableintensity.
Remember:Youhavetolearntocontrolyourselfbeforestandingachanceofcontrollingyourgame.Gettingyourintensityrevveduptoopowerfullypriortocompetitionwillactuallyhurtyourperformance.
Chapter18:YourDream
AtcertaintimesinmylifeI’velookedaroundandfoundmyselfhaving(temporarily)achievedmygoals.Lookingbackonallthehardships,theobstacles,thechallenges,andevensomeofthenegativepeoplewho’ddonetheirbesttotrytokeepmedown,somehowIstilldidwhatIintendedtodo,andgotmyselfwhereIwantedtobe.
So,whatisitthatdrivesustotryagainandagain,tokeepgoing,tokeeptakingjustonemorestepevenwhennothingseemstobeworkingforus?
Adream,that’swhat.
Thinkaboutit.Withoutadream,withoutavision,howcanyouknowwhereyouhopetoget?Withoutadreamoneisonlydrifting.
So,what’syourdream?Ifit’simportanttoyou,thenit’sworthchasing.Anychampionwilltellyouthatabigpartoflifeinvolvesreachingforyourdreams.It’swhathelpsyoumoveforward.
RememberwhatWaltDisneycalledImagineering?Useit,asyousetouttocreateyourvision.LetImagineeringhelpyoubuildtheconfidencethatyoucangettoyourdream;allowyourselftobemovedbythepowerofyourdreams.Neverletanyoneoranythingshoveyouofftrackorbreakyoudownonceyou’vesetyourcoursetowardsachievingsomething.
Afriendofminedreamedofbecomingalawyer.Despitethefactthatnobodyinhisentireextendedfamilyhadevenbeentocollegebefore,hisimmediategoalwastogettotheUniversityofChicago.And,oncehewasthere,hisimmediategoalwastograduatetopofhisclass.Oncehe’ddonethat,headjustedhisdreamagain:topassingtheIllinoisbarexam.Andoncehe’ddonethat,tobecomingoneofChicago’stoplawyers.Evenoncehe’dsucceededinthatgoal,hewasn’tfinisheddreaming.Hethendreamedthathecould,throughthepositionhe’dworkedsohardallhislifetoattain,makelifebetterfortheunderprivilegedkidsintheareawherehe’dgrownup.That’swhatIcallpositivedreaming.
Sowheredoyouseeyourselfnext?What’syourvisionofyourfuture?One
thing’sforsure,ifyoueverhopetoachieveit,youneedtoseeitandfeelit,vividly,inyourmind’seye,andnotjustoccasionally.Learntooftenreinforceyourvisionofwhereyouhopetobeinafewyearstime—andthenworktowardsachievingit.
It’snotonlydreaming,ofcourse,butbelievingandtakingactionalso.You’vegottotakespecificstepstogetyouwhereyouwanttobe.Soonyou’lllearnsomesimplegoalsettingideasthatcanhelpyoutransformyourdreamsintoreality.They’rethesameideasthatmanytopperformersuseinordertohelpthemmakesteadyprogress,butfornow,Iwantyoutogetaclearvisionofwhatitisthatyouwanttoachieveforyourself.
Thinkaboutwhatyouwanttobecome,howyouwantthingstobe.Foralittlewhile,youneedtodosomeImagineering.Closeyoureyesandseeyourselfandeverythingaroundyouthewayyouwantittobe.Imagineit;feelit;seeitclearly;seeitvividly.Letyourspiritsoar.
Decide:What’syourdream?Figureitout.That’syourassignment.
Chapter19:OnGoals
Warrior/Championssetouttoturntheirdreamsintorealitybytakingactionthroughgoalsetting.Often,personalgrowthandpeakperformancearedirectlyrelatedtohowwellanathletehasmasteredgoal-settingskills.Mentalathletesaregoal-oriented.Theyhavevision.
Whenanathletecomplainsoflackingmotivation,youcanbesurethatit’salmostalwayscausedbygoalsthatfailtoinspirehimtoaction.Goalsservetokeepyouontarget.Theyincreasethedesiretoachieve.Goalsincreaseyourself-confidenceasyouexperiencemeasurableimprovement.Withpropergoalsetting,thequalityofpracticesessionsautomaticallyimproves.Goalsenhanceperformance,andhelpcreateachievements.
Whilesettingyourown,privategoals,besurethattheyarebothchallengingandrealistic.Slightlyout-of-reachgoalsarebest:inspiringhardwork,yetstillattainablewithdedicatedeffort.Goalsneedtobesetneithertoohigh,nortooeasyandlow—whichwoulddefeattheirverypurpose.Goalsshouldbewrittendownandreviewedfrequently.Goalsshouldcomeintheformsofdailygoals,monthlygoalsandannualgoals,andrememberthatwhatyouarestrivingforisprogressratherthanperfection.Believeme,asyoubegintofocusonmeaningful,specificgoals,thepowerofyourhiddenreserveswillbeunleashedandgoodthingsbegintohappen.
IwellrememberwhenIcametomeetLeo-taiwith“Goals1to25”neatlytranscribed,whichIproudlyshowedhim.
Leo-taistrokedhischin.
“Hmmm,”isallhesaidandIwasinstantlyonthedefensive.(HmmmwithLeo-tainevermeant,“Welldone.”)
“Whatdoyoumean,”Idemanded.“Aren’tthosegoodgoals?IfIachievethoserankings,I’dbeoneofthetopkick-boxersonthescene.”
Leo-taiwalkedintohistiny,immaculatelittlekitchen,andreturnedwithtwogreenteas.“Myfriend,”heasked,“Aretheseyourgoalsordidyouhavehelpin
decidinguponthem?”
Iwonderedhowthatmightbebad.
“Listen,Danielsan.Goalsaremostmeaningfulwhentheyarewhatyoutrulywantforyourself,notwhatotherswantforyou.”
“OK,butIdowantthesegoals.”Iobjected,alittleannoyed.
“Secondly,”hesaid,payingnoattentionatall.“What’sthisyouhavewrittenhere,‘Don’tloseintheearlyroundsatnationals.’”
“What’swrongwiththat?”
Leo-taishookhishead.
“HowmanytimesmustIremindyouthatyoumustmakesuretostateyourgoalsinawaythatemphasizeswhatyouwanttohappen,notwhatyouwanttoavoid.This‘Don’tloseintheearlyrounds’isnotagoalatall,it’sfearful.”
Ilookedatthe25thingsI’dwrittendownmorecarefullynow.Aroundaquarterofthemwerenegative-orientated.Iscrunchedthepaperintoaballandhavingletthepaperfly,Imadeaperfectgoal,straightintothewaste-basket.
“SowhatamIsupposedtodothen?”
Leo-taibeamed.
“Thereisnothingwrongwithyourgoals,butyoumustlaythemoutthoughtfully.Askyourselfwhatyouwanttoaccomplishoverthenexttwoorthreeyears.Maketheseyourlong-termgoals.Givethemacompletiondate.”
“Right.Andthen?”
“Thenthinkofatleastthreethingsthatyouwanttoachievewithinthenextyear.Maketheseyourshort-termgoals.Givethemacompletiondate.”hetoldme.
“Andthenwhat?”Iaskedhim.
“Thendecidewhatitisthatyoucandoeverymonthtohelpyouaccomplishyourshort-termgoals.”hesaid.“Writethesedown.Theseareyourmonthlygoals.Givethemacompletiondatetoo.”
“Setdailygoals,thathelpyouachievemonthlygoals,thathelpyouachieveyour
short-termgoals,thatinturnhelpyouachieveyourlong-termgoals.Whenyourgoalsfittogetherthiswayandyousetofftoaccomplishthem,youmakeprogress.Butfirstyoumustmakesureit’syourdreamandnotanybodyelse’sdream—thisisthewayforward.Anymoretea?”heasked.
“No,thanks.”Isaid.Iwasbusythinkingaboutwhathehadgivenme.Withthisframeworkitallseemedcomparativelysimple.Ifoundmyselfconsumedwiththedesiretostartlistingmygoalsoveragain,morepatiently,morelogical,moreperfectly.
“Doitnow,”Leo-taiurgedme.“UsetheguidelinesandthesystemofgoalsettingIjustdescribedforyou.Ichallengeyoutocreateyourplan.Startrightnowandpointyourselfintherightdirectionbytakingthestepsnecessarytobegintoaccomplishyourgoalsanddreams.”
Leo-taipouredhimselfmoretea.
“Thinkdeeply.Everythingyouneedisinsideofyou,insideyourverydreams.Goalsrepresentyourdreamsalongatimeline,showingyouthestepsneededtoachieveyoursuccess.Rememberthateveryjourneyistakenstepbystep.Sostartthinking.Becreative,takerisks,trythings,andmostimportantly,setyourgoalsbeforeyou—andbelieveinyourabilitytoaccomplishthem.IfIwereyou,Iwouldstartrightnow.”
Forthenextfewdays,Iwasbusythinkinganddreaming.Itookhislessonseriously.Ihaveneverregrettedhavingdoneso.
Remember:Settinggoalsiscriticalbecausetheyhelpyouachieve.Theyrepresentyourdreamsalongatimelineandhelpyoutoprogress.
Chapter20:DotheWork
Once,afterhavingknockedouthisopponentduringaprofessionalMixedMartialArtsevent,RenzoGraciewasinterviewedbyacommentatorwhosuggestedthatRenzohadonlywonbecausehe’dbeenlucky.Withoutmissingabeat,andwithashrewdsmileonhisface,Renzofamouslyreplied,“TheharderIwork,theluckierIget!”
Whatachampion—andwhatatruechampion’sresponse!
Withveryfewexceptions,thetruthisthatthebestathletesusuallyturnouttobetheoneswhoworkthehardest.Whilemostathleteswilltellyouthattheywanttowin,veryfewofthosetalentedenoughtomakeittothetoparewillingtoputinthehardworkanddedicationthatbecomingachampiondemands.Asacoachit’seasyformetospottheathletedeterminedenoughtobewillingtopaytheprice.Forastart,itshowsintheeffortandconsistencyputforthduringpractice.Secondly,thebestathleteslovetheprocessofdoingwhatittakestobecomethebesttheycanbe.There’sameasurabledifferenceintheirlevelofcommitmentandconfidenceovermostathletesbecausetheyactuallyenjoyworkinghardatgettingbetter.
ListentowhatlegendaryfootballcoachVinceLombardioncewroteaboutthistypeofcommitment.“Amancanbeasgreatashewantstobe,”hesaid.“Ifyoubelieveinyourselfandhavethecourage,thedetermination,thededication,thecompetitivedrive,andifyouarewillingtosacrificethelittlethingsinlifeandpaythepriceforthethingsthatareworthwhile,anythingcanbedone.Onceamanhasmadeacommitmentheputsthegreateststrengthintheworldbehindhim,thisthingwecallheartpower.Onceamanhasmadethiscommitment,nothingwillstophimshortofsuccess.Theharderyouworktheharderitistosurrender.”
Yetinspiteofthis,quiteoftenanathletewithastonishinglevelsofGod-giventalentchoosestocruisealongwithoutputtingmucheffortintoimprovinghimself.Hegetscomfortableandratherthanworkinghardtotakehistalentontoanotherlevel,hedoesn’tputintheworkrequired.Eventually,manyharder-workingathleteswillsurpasssuchathletes.Sodon’tbediscouragedif
you’renotexactlywhatacoachwouldconsiderahugetalent.Hardwork,effortandenthusiasmwillstillbringyougoodresultsaslongasyoustaythecourse.Andifyouhappentobeextremelytalented,justrememberthatsuchtalentcanbeeitherablessingoracurse.Talentisnoblessingifyouletyourselfstagnatebecauseplayingwellcomesrelativelyeasilytoyou.Thementalathleteknowsthatinordertoexcelonecan’tjustdoenoughtogetby.
AfteroneofmyyoungstudentswonanationalchampionshipIaskedhimifitfeltgoodtoseeallhishardworkfinallypayoff.Headmittedthatitfeltprettygood,thathewasreallyhappy.
“SowhatareyourplansnowMr.NationalChamp?”Iteasedhim.“Areyougoingtotakeabreak?”
“Noway,”hesaid.“Noweverykidwantstobeatme,IhavetoworkevenhardernowifI’mgoingtostaychampion.”
Smartten-year-old.He’dalreadyrealizedthathewasgoingtohavetoworkharderthaneverinordertomaintainhishighlevelofsuccess.YetIcouldtellbythegleaminhiseyethathewasexcitedabouttheprospect.
Thetruthisthatrealchampionswanttodothework.Theyarewillingtodonotonlywhateverittakestogettothetop,butalsowhateverittakestostayatthetop.Truechampionsarewillingtopaythepriceinordertoimprove.
ThinkaboutwhatRenzoGracietoldthatcommentator,“TheharderIwork,theluckierIget!”
Sohowdeterminedareyoutomakeyourownluckhappen?
Remember:Onceyoureallymakethecommitmenttoworkhardatbecomingachampion,somethingpowerfulissetinmotion—heartpower.
Chapter21:GettingThere
Manytimes,afterworkingwithaprofessionalfighteroranadvancedgrappler,theythankmeforhavingshownthemsomethingtheyclaimnevertohavebeentaughtbefore.Thatmakesmefeelgreat,andonereasonformygratificationisbecausetheytrustmeenoughtoadmitthat(evenasgreatcompetitors)theydon’tknowitall.That’satruechampion,inanutshell.Atruechampionalwaysrecognizesthat,ifyou’reopentolearningsomethingtoday,itcanmakeyouanevengreaterchampiontomorrow.
There’sneverastageinourcareerswhenwe’velearnedsomuchthatthere’snothinglefttolearn.Andthisiseventrueronceyourealizethat,inalmosteverycase,championsaremade,notborn.
Atruechampionacceptsthat(asgreatasheorshemaycurrentlybe)it’snotwhattheyknowthat’simportant;it’swhattheycanstilllearnthatmakesthebiggestdifference.Theyknowthatinordertoreachtheirhighestpossibleleveltheyhavetostriveforconstantanddailyimprovement.Andtheyknowthatthefastestwaytoimproveistowork,notontheirstrengths,butontheirweaknesses.
Therefore,inordertoimprove,thementalathletemustberesolutelyclearonexactlywhathisstrengthsandweaknessesare.Then(andthisistheimportantpart)heorshemustdeterminetochangeweaknessesintostrengths.
Takethetrueexampleofayoungandgiftedtennisplayerwithadevastatingserveandawonderfulforehand,butaratherweakbackhand,alwaysslicingitbacktoheropponent.Oncewhileshewasworkingwithhercoach,beltingbackexcellentforehandafterforehand,sheoverheardsomeonesaythatherforehandwassoreliablealreadythatshewascrazynottoconcentrateonherbackhand.Forthenextcoupleofweeksshetoldhercoachshewantedtoconcentrateentirelyuponupgradingherbackhand.Shortlythereaftersheachievedoneofherbiggestcareerwinsever,topplingtheworld’stop-rankedplayerinthesecondroundofaninternationaltournament!Shehadchangedaweaknessintooneofherstrengths.
Yourgameplanoughttobethesame:pinpointyourweaknessesandsetouttoworkextrahardonthem.Whileit’struethatit’simportanttoworkonallaspectsofyourgame,achampionknowsthatagoodopponentwillfindandexploitanyweaknesses;thereforehedevelopsanactionplantotargetandimproveonallthethingsthatheknowsarenothisstrongestpoints.
So...whatdon’tyoudoquitesowell?Anddoyouhaveanactionplantochangeit?Lookatyourgamelikeachampion.Setouttomakeyourselfbetterthaneverbypinpointingwhattoimprove!Anddon’tputitoffbecausesomepartsofyourgamearealreadyworking.Adaptingtogoodadvicethatcomesyourway,andworkinghardtochangeyourweaknessesintostrengthswillhelptakeyourentiregametoanotherlevel.
Socommityourself,getanactionplaninplaceandmakeitapointtoimprovebysettingouttotransformyourweaknessesintostrengths.
Remember:Successfulpeoplehavetheself-disciplinetodothethingsthathavetobedone,whethertheyenjoythemornot.
Chapter22:ChangingYourMentalState
Changingyourstate.What’sthatmean,exactly?
RemembermyunbelieverfromChapterOne?Whatkindofstatewasheinbeforeheturneditaround?Ifyourecall,hewasinaverydisempoweredstatewhenhesoughtmeout.Hewasnervous,fearful,anxious,tense,andentirelylackingself-confidence.Inshort,therewasnowaythathecoulddowellincompetitionunlesshechangedhisstate.
Sowhatdidhedointhosefewminutesthatmadeallthedifference?
Recallthat,withlittlecoaching,hechangedhisstatefrombeingtotallyfearfulanddisempowered,tobeingtotallyconfidentandpreparedforcompetition.Heliterallybecameanunchainedforceofdominance.Andhediditsoquickly!
IpromisedthatIwouldteachyouhowtodowhathedid,soherewego.Witheverythingyou'velearnedsofar,Iknowyouareready.Here’swhatyouneedtounderstand;andhere’sexactlyhowtogoaboutdoingitforyourself.
Thoughtscreatetheemotionsandfeelingsthatarethecauseofyourstate.Whateverstatethatmaybe,yourownthoughtsputyouthere.So,wheneveryoufindyourselfinadisempoweredstaterememberthis:youcanalteryourthoughtsandyourstatebyfocusingonthreedifferentcriticalelements.
TheFirstCriticalElement:Self-Talk.Askyourself:Whatwouldtheself-talkofachampionsoundlikeashepreparedforcompetition?
ItookmyunbelieverasideandIaskedhimasimplequestion.“Ifyouwereagreatchampionwithtonsofexperienceatthislevel,andifyouhadanincrediblerecord,andifyouwereatthetopofyourgamewherenoonecouldtouchyou,whatwouldyourself-talksoundlikeasyoupreparedtogointothismatch?”
Myunbelieverlookedatme.“Idon’tknow,coach.”
"Wellhowaboutthingslike:I’mstrong,I’mfast,andIdominate.Icontrolthe
match,Inevergivein,andInevergiveup.I’mpowerful,I’maforceoffury,I’maforceofdominance,andIamachampion.Iconquer...Orhowaboutthese?Icanhaveit,Icandoit,Itakecharge,Iwin,Ikeepgoing,I’mtougher,Istopmyopponent,I’mready.Gettheidea?”Iasked.
“Yep,”hesaid.
"Good.Thenthat’swhatIwant.Pretendyou'reanactor.Startbeingthatchampion.Starthearingtheself-talkofthatchampion."Itoldhim."IwantyoutopretendandfeelthatyouarethischampionIjustdescribed.Iwantyoutostartfiringoff,insideyourhead,thesameself-talkthatthischampionwouldhavegoingthroughhisheadashegetsreadyforamatch.Startnow,"Itoldhimlookingatmywatch."Wedon’thavemuchtime."
Ishutupandwatchedhimasheimmersedhimselfinhistask.AtthispointJeremybeganfiringofftheself-talkofachampioninhishead.Hestayednearbyashewalkedaround,pacing,puttingallhisfocusandhisentirebeingintotheexercise.
AfteraboutaminuteIgothisattentionagain.“Good,verygood,”Isaid,“Nowwearegoingtoaddsomethingtoit.”
TheSecondCriticalElement:Thewaythatyoucarryyourbody.Askyourself:Howwouldthischampion’sbodybemovingashepreparedforbattle?
“Jeremy,”Isaid,“Startmovingyourbodyaroundasthischampionthatispreparingforcompetition.”
Hewaslisteninghard.Icontinued,“Keeponseeingyourselfasthischampion,keeptheself-talkgoing,andatthesametimeIwantyoutonowstartmovingyourbodyaroundasifyouwerethischampiongettingreadytobeatyouropponentdown.Howwouldyoubemovingyourbody?Howwouldyou,asthischampion,carryyourselfasyoupreparedforthematch?Showme.Startingrightnow,”Iadded,“Yougetanotherminute.”
Jeremysprangintoaction.Beforemyeyeshestartedmovinghisbodyaroundlikeachampionwarmingup,gettingreadytodobattle,pacing,andpracticingonanimaginaryopponent,fullofenergy,likeacagedgladiatorwaitingtobereleased.And,asIwatched,Ibegantohavehope.Jeremy’sbodymotionsbecamelikethoseofachampionannihilator.
Atthesametime,ashemovedhisbodyaroundlikethischampionannihilator,
Jeremykeptfiringofftheself-talkofthischampioninhishead.
Nowwehadtheself-talkofachampiongoing,andthebodymovementsofachampionpreparingforbattlegoingon.Ilethimdohiswork.Ididn’tdisturbhimforanotherminuteorso.
TheThirdCriticalElement:Breathing.WatchingJeremy’simagination,self-talk,andbodymotionsbegintoturnthingsaroundforhim,Ithrewinthethirdelement.JeremyIasked,“Howwouldthischampionbebreathingrightnowashepreparedforbattle?Keeptheself-talkgoing,keepmovingyourbodyaroundasthischampion,andnow,Iwantyoutoaddthebreathingofachampiongettingreadytodobattle.”
Withoutmissingabeat,Jeremyadjustedhisbreathing.Nowhehadallthreecriticalelementsgoing.Breathing,movement,andself-talk.Jeremywasinadifferentworld.
Attheendofthosefewminutes,Jeremyhadchangedhisstatecompletely.Whenhewalkedontothatmat:hewasreadymentallyandphysically,andhewasthereforeabletodeliveroneofhisbestperformancesever.Bybringingallthreecriticalelementstogetherinthisway,Jeremy,myunbeliever,gotoutofhisownway,helethistrainingtakeover,andhecompetedlikeatruechampion.
That’showhedidit;andthat’showyoucandoittoo.
Aspartofyourpre-competitionroutine...
Askyourself:Whatwouldtheself-talkofachampionbelikeashepreparedforcompetition?
Howwouldthatchampionbemovinghisbodyaroundasheprepared?
Andhowwouldthatchampionbebreathingashepreparedtoenterthecompetitionandfacehisopponent?
Thendoit.Bringitalltogetherforseveralminutespriortoyourtime,andallowyourselftoenterintothistotallypreparedandempoweredstatebeforeyoucompete.Getoutofyourownway.Letyourtrainingtakeover.
Remember:Useallthreecriticalelementsandbringthemtogetherinordertochangeyourstatecompletely—TheSelf-talkofaChampionpreparingtodobattle,theBodyMovementsofaChampionpreparingtodobattle,andtheBreathingofaChampionpreparingtodobattle.Thenallowyourselfto
Chapter23:ThePresent
Iwasfinishingmystudiesattheuniversity.OnedayLeo-taicalledmeandsaidthathewantedtocomeouttovisitandseewhereIwasintheBlackHills,hesaidhealsowantedtoseewhereRockyRaccoonfromtheoldBeatles'songusedtorunaround.Thenhestartedrightintoit...
"NowsomewhereintheBlackMountainHillsofDakota,livedayoungboynamedRockyRaccoon,andonedayhiswomanrunoffwithanotherguy,hityoungRockyintheeye..."
Leo-taisungitoverthephone.Itwasfunny;hereallyhaditdown.
So,assooftenhappened,Leo-taiendedupdoingwhathewantedtodo.Now,herewasLeo-tai,smackintheBlackHills,visitingme.HewasveryexcitedtobesonearthehomeofRockyRaccoon.
And,whenItoldhimthatIfiguredRockyRaccoonranaroundinDeadwood:“Thenwe’llhavetogoupthereforsure,”hesaid.
WewereinabeautifulpartoftheBlackHills,whereIrentedaplaceatthemouthofSpearfishCanyonwhileIfinishedschool.ThereItookLeo-taionashorthikeupatrailendinghighabovethecanyon.
ThestunningviewtookLeo-taibysurprise.
“Danielsan,”hesaidwithamazement,“Thisisverygood.”
“Incredible,isn’tit?”
“Thisisverygoodindeed!”hesaidwithhiswidestsmile.
Ishowedhimwheretositinordertoenjoyoneofthebestplacesintheworldfromwhichtowatchasunset.IpulledoutmyjournalandtwoGatorades,inordertojotdownhisthoughtsaswewatchedwhatwelateragreedwasoneofthemostbeautifulsunsetswe’deverseen.
Leo-tai’slessonswerealwaysconciseandtothepoint.Heneverwenttoofast,hekeptitsimple.
"TobetotallyinthePresent,Danielsan...thatisthekey.Tolearnhowtobetherethroughoutthecompetition,thatisyourgoal.ToconsistentlyplayinthePresentmoment,wheremindandbodyareasone,wheretrainingtakesover,wherenothoughtsinterfere.ThisisWarriorknowledge,Danielsan,itissomethingthathasbeentaughtforcenturies.Youarebeingshownanestablishedwaytogetthere."
Leo-tai’seyeswerefaroverthehorizon.Hecontinued,"ByunderstandingandpracticingtheArtonelearnshowtocreatetheinternalenvironmentthatinvitesinthequietmindduringcompetition.Thequietmindisawarriorskill.InthePresent,everythingcomestogetherandperformanceisflawlessandautomatic.Inside,theWarrior/Championhasnothought,noclutteredmind;insteadheisanunstoppablechampiontotallyabsorbedintheactionbeforehim.”
AsIlistenedIrememberedhavingrecentlywatchedPeteSamprasbeingaskedinaninterviewwhathewasthinkingaboutduringacrucialmomentinatennismatch.Hisanswerwasfascinating,provinghistotalimmersioninthemoment.“Nothing,”hereplied.“Iwasthinkingaboutnothing.”
“Atruechampion,”saidLeo-tai,“Learnshowtofeelnopressure,becausepressureiscreatedbyanxiety,andanxietycanonlyexistifoneallowsone’sthoughtstowanderawayfromthePresenttosomeuncertaintyinthefutureortosomerememberedfailureofthepast...ThereispowerinthePresentmoment,Danielsan:holdontoit.
“ThetwoskillstheWarrior/ChampionmustpossesstohelphimreachhismaximumpotentialaretheabilitytorecognizewhenhismindisnotfocusedonthePresent,andtheabilitytobringitbackintothePresent.Whenyourmindisracing,helpbringitbackbyfocusingonyourbreathing.Thiswillhelpyoutoreachthatplacewherewehaveasuresensethatwecandowhatweknowweneedtodo,andthatwecandoitwithouthavingtotrytoohard,aplacefromwheretechniqueflowsfreelyandaccurately,aplacefromwhichrightactionspringsforth.”
“Youmeanthequietmind,”Isaid.
“Exactly,andthePresentmomentiswherethequietmindexists.There’snoworry,nojudging,nofearing,nohoping;themindistotallyinthehereandNowthroughouttheevent.Youmustpracticeleavingallthementalclutter,allthepersonalsituations,allthedistractionsthatfillupyourhead,outsideofthearena.Whileit’scrucialtohavelearnedfromthepast,thereisalsoatimeto
leavethepastbehindyou.Andwhileit’simportanttoprepareforthefuture,tobeinthePresentrequiresthatittoo,mustbediscardedatsomelevel.”
Leo-tailookedatmecarefullytomakesurethatIgothispoint.
“Nowisthetimeinwhichyouperform,andthePresentistheonlyplacethatNowexists.Practicequietingthemind,andbringingittothePresent;learntofindthePresent,inordertobeabletoperformatyourhighestlevel—doyouunderstand?”
“Ithinkso,”Itoldhim.
“Thenyoumustpracticemore,Danielsan,sothatyoumayKnowso.”
Onceagain,Leo-taihadhelpedmetobetterunderstandhisWarriorArt.
Remember:"TobetotallyinthePresent,thatisthekey."
Chapter24:PreparetoWin
IhadbeentrainingwithLeo-taiformanyyears.NowIhadbeenacceptedintotheNavyflightprogram,andwebothknewthatitmightbealongtimebeforeI’dbeback.
“Youmustpreparetowin.”Leo-taitoldmeaswefinishedmyknife-fightinglessonthatnight.“Achampionalwayspreparestowin.”
HeknewthatIwaslistening.
“Alwaysusementalrehearsalasyou’vebeentaught,”hetoldme.“Itbuildsconfidence.Confidencecomesfromknowingyouarepreparedbothphysicallyandmentally.Confidencehelpsyouknowwhattodoautomaticallyevenwhenyou’renotsure.Ithelpsimmensely.Besuretovisualize.”
Leo-taibeganputtingawaythetrainingknivesthatwehadbeenusing.
“Youmusttrustyourself,Danielsan.Theremustbenolackofcommitmentinyourmind.Eliminatedoubt.There’snoroomforit.Haveconfidenceandtrustyourselfasyoupreparetowin...Alwaystakeyourtrainingsessionsseriously.Alwaysconcentrate.Remember:you’recreatingneuro-muscularconnectionsthataregoingtotakeoverwhenyoulearnhowtogetoutofyourownway.Thebetteryouconcentrateduringtraining,themoreyou’llbeabletotrustyourselfwhenyoumustfullyperform.”
Leo-taicontinued:“Rememberthatmentaltraininghelpsthewarriordeveloptheabilitytosettheanalyticalmindasidelongenoughsothathistrainingcantakeoverandhecanfightbyinstinct.Whenthishappensyou’reconfident,relaxed,determined.Everythingflows.Youexperiencepeakperformance.It’sarewardforhavingpreparedwell.Remember,andneverforget,-youcan’tactuallyforcepeakperformance.Youmustpreparecorrectlyinanefforttoallowittooccur.YounowunderstandhowtogoaboutcreatingtheIdealMentalClimatefromwhichitspringsforth.”
IfollowedhimtowardsthedoorofthestudioasIfinishedputtingonmywatchcapandcoat.Everythinghewastellingmemadeperfectsense.
“It’samatteroflearninghowtoleaveyourconsciousmindoutofit,”heremindedme,“andlettingyourtrainingtakeover.Anddon’tforgetthatsometimesimprovementmeanslettinggoofoldways,Danielsan.Soremainopentolearning,andrestassuredthatitwilltakecouragetoachieveyourgoalsandreachyourfullpotential.Getreadytoworkhard.”
AsIsteppedoutside,Igotthefeelingthathewasn’tquitereadytoletmego—Iwonderedlaterifperhapshewasrememberingmybrotheratthatmoment.
Helookedatme.“Themostimportantthingishowachampionpreparesforbattle.Youmustfindthewarriorwithin.Youmustdobattlewithallyourheartinordertohavenoregretsasyouleavethecontestbehind.Achampionalwayspreparestowin.Remembertoactlikeachampioninordertobecomeachampion.”
“Iwill.”Iassuredhimasweshookhands.HeknewhowgratefulIwasforeverything.
Hesmiled,“Youdidwelltoday.”
Andwiththat,Leo-taibroughtmylessontoanend.
ItwouldbealongtimebeforeIwouldseeLeo-taiagain.FirstwouldcomeGrenada,thenPanama,andfinallytheMiddleEast.
Remember:Achampionalwayspreparestowin.
Chapter25:WalkOn
AswetookalongwalkonthecoastlinenearhishomeIcaughtmyselfreflectingonhowalltheyearsseemedtohavepassedbysoquicklyeversincethatlastlessonsomanyyearsago.Leo-taistillhadthatsameeffortlessstridethathe'dmademekeepupwithsomanytimesbefore...Wewalkedalongtimeincompanionablesilence,surroundedbyseagulls,wind,andwaves.
WhenwefinallystoppedLeo-taisathimselfuponacomfortable-lookingrockandIleanedupagainstanevenbiggerone.HecrinkleduphiseyesashelookedouttoseaandInoticedforthefirsttimethathelookedtired.(HowoldwasLeo-tai?Iwondered;I’dneverevenasked.)
“Lookatthewaves,”hemurmured.“Endlesslyrenewingthemselves,endlesslyfeedingintoeachother.There’snoendtothem.No,justtherenewalandwithdrawal,overandoveragain.”
Aseagullcircledovertherocks.
“Itisthecycleoftheearth,”saidLeo-tai.“We’rehere,we’regone.Wearebornandwedie.Theworldkeepsturning,buttooslowlyforourunderstanding.”
“Ihopeyou’renotintendingtodieanydaysoon,”Ijoked,abituneasily.
“Whoknows?Somuchisnotgiventoustoknow.But,evenifthisshouldhappen,Danielsan,itisnottheend.Itisonlythebeginningofsomethingelse,somethingdifferent.ThisiswhyIneversaygoodbye.”
Iwasstartledtorealizethatthiswastrue.InalltheyearsI’dknownLeo-tai;he’dalwaysjustdriftedoff,orshutthedoorwithasmile.Icouldn’teverrememberhissaying,“Goodbye.”
Somethingabouthistonemademeglanceathimagain,wasthisthegoodbyeheneveractuallysaid?Washegoingwheresomeoneelseneededhimmore?Ithadbeenyearssincewehadtrainedtogethersteadily,buthealwaysseemedtobethere,thevoiceontheendofatelephone,theletterfromsomeplaceI’dneverbeen,apresencebymyshoulder,histeachingsnowalwaysapartofme.
“Now,”hesaid,oncehewassettled.“Tellmewhyyouaresad.”
“Sad?Idon’tthinkI’dcallitbeingsad,”Isaid.“Perhapsfeelingalittlelost—somewhatincomplete...yes—butnotsad.”
Somuchhadchanged.Themilitaryhadputmeinhotspotsallovertheworld.Ihadseenenough.Iwasdonewithit.Ihadmanagedtowalkaway—unlikesomeofmyfriends,andlifehaddealtsomedevastatingblows.IsensedthathecouldtellthatIwasn’tkidding,thatIwasreallydisillusionedwitheverything...Yetheatleastwasstillthesame,stillwatchingmewiththatold,consideringlookinhiseyes.
“You’vebecomedisillusioned.”Hesaid.
“That’sanunderstatement.”Ireplied.
“Therecameapointwhenitwascleartoyouthatwhereyouwerenolongerinspiredyou—andyourealizedthatifyoustoodstill,thenthat’swhereyouwouldstay.What’swrongwithchoosingtonotstandstill?Congratulations.Somepeoplelivetheirwholelivesinchainswithoutrealizingthattheyalwaysheldthekey.”
Helookedatmeandgentlyshookhishead.
“Danielsan,whoknowswhatawaitsyou,butnevermindtheuncertaintythatoccupiesyourthinkingrightnow.Understandthis.Lifedoesn’talwaysgothewaywewantittogo.Youdreamyourdreams,youworkyourgoals,andstill,lifemaynotgoasyouhaveplanned.Butthinkaboutit,wherewouldwebeifwehadnotchosenapath,ifwehadputforthnoeffortintoachievingaplan?InthosecasesIwouldsaythatonehadnodirectionatall,andthereisnothinggoodaboutthat.”
“Well,that’sexactlyhowIfeelrightnow.”Itoldmyoldfriend.“Nodirectionatall.”
“Maybeyoufeelthatway,Danielsan,butIdon’tseeitthatway.Ifsomeonesetsthemselvesfree—fromwhatever;ifsomeonepicksthemselvesupafterlifehitsthemwithasuckerpunch,thatissomedirection,atleast—wouldn’tyouagree?Pickingyourselfuporsettingyourselffreeisdirection.Itispartofachievingsomething.”
Ilistenedasthesundroopeddownbeyondthehorizonaheadofus.
“PleaseLeo-tai,canyoujusthelpmeseeyourpoint?”
“Ican.Mypointisthateventhoughwemaynotunderstandit,sometimeslifewillputusonanewpath,onethatwewouldhaveneveraskedfor,thatwehaveneverdreamedof,oreverimagined,...Andafterall,isn’tthatwhat’sreallyhappeningtoyou?”
“Insteadofover-analyzinganddoubtingthedirectionyourlifehastaken,whynotsimplyacceptthefactthatthereisanewpaththathasbeensetbeforeyourightnow?Stoptheinternalself-doubt.Itonlycausesconfusion.Thefactisthatwhateverwas—isnomore.It’sgone.It’sinthepast.Andwhateveris—well,isn’tthatwhatreallymatters?”
Iwaslistening—asIwatchedthewavesandtheseagulls.
“Thepastisgonemyfriend.Youcanlookbackonitbutit’sonlyareflection.Thefutureliesahead...butit'safuturethathasnotyetbeenrealized.Soinreality,todayisallwehave.Andtodayishere.Whydon'tyoujuststartwalkingonyournewpath,onestepatatime?Conjureupsomenewdreams,castthemouttotheuniverse,keepyourheadup,havefaith,anddiscoverwhatliesahead.Lifeitselfhasputyouonthispath.Justtrustwhatisandbewithit.”
Leo-taicontinued.
“Ibelievethatanyonewhodoesthis,Danielsan,soonfindsthenewpathtakingtheminamostnaturalandcomfortabledirection.Embracethenewadventure;walkintoitwithstrongself-beliefandbeforelong—Isuspect—youwillfindthenewdirectionrewarding,andamazingbeyondanythingthatyoucouldhaveeverimagined...Followthepathsetbeforeyou;followyourdestiny.Theuniversedoesnotmakemistakes;everyoneisexactlywheretheyneedtobe.Youmustrememberthiswheneveritseemsthatthepatternofyourlifehaslostitsfirmnessofpurpose.Alwaysremember...youareexactlywhereyouneedtobe,andthen—”Leo-taipaused.
“Andthenwhat?”Iaskedhim.
“Andthenmyfriend...youmustwalkon.Youmustsimply—walkon.”
Ilethiswordssinkin.Asthesunhazedintothesea,Irememberedsomanyothersunsetlessonsovertheyears.PerhapsLeo-taiwasrememberingtoo,forhesuddenlysaid,“FromamongstallourlessonswhatonemostimportantthingdoyouthinkIwouldalwayswantyoutoremember,iftherewereone,whatdo
youthinkitmightbe?”
Somanythings.Ithought.Irecalledthefightwiththeraccoons;themanymistakesI’dmade;allthetimeshe’dpickedmeupoffofthefloor,dustedmeoff,andstartedmeoveragain.Ithoughthard.Learningtonevergivein;notallowingnegativity;self-discipline;stayinginthepresent;controlofanger;controloffear;Imagineering;tobelieveinmydreams.
AndthenIremembered:“Self-beliefiswhatgetseverythinggoing.”
“Self-Belief,”Itoldhim.Oureyesmetandheglowedbackatme.
“Verygood,Danielsan,youworriedmesometimes,butnotanymore,”hetoldme.“Now,youdon’tworrymeanymore.”
“Really?”Isaid.
“Well,cometothinkofit—no,notreally,Itakeitback.”
“Toolate,Ialreadyheardyousayit,”Ijoked.
“So?”
“Sothat’sit,ifIheardyousayit,thenitmustbetrue,andyoucan’ttakeitback...Besides,I’vegottogetgoingandmeetupwithsomepeople.It’stimeformetosaygoodbye.”
Helookedatme.“OhDanielsan,it’snevergoodbyemyfriend,”Leo-taireprovedme,shakinghishead,smilingasifhewerestillworriedaboutme.“It’snevergoodbye,”hetoldmeasIwatchedhimturnaway—stillsmiling—andstarthiswalkbackalongthesurf.
Asheslippedaway,Iwatchedhimgo;Ilethimgo,asmallfigure,disappearingintothedistance.IwonderedifthismightbethelasttimeIwouldeverseemyoldfriend—didheknowit?—Today,Istillwonder—butbackthen,Ilethimgo.
AndIreflected.
Oncemoreandsomehow—hehaddoneit.Whathetoldme,hisinsightthatday,madesense.Hislessonhelpedme.
Andthen,ashe’dwantedmeto...
Andlikeweallmustdo,atonetimeoranother...