RUNNING HEAD: Partner’s Use of Pornography

The Significance of Heavy Pornography Involvement

for Romantic Partners: Research and

Clinical Implications

Raymond M. Bergner

Ana J. Bridges

Department of Psychology

Illinois State University

Citation: Bergner R, & Bridges A. (2002). The significance

of heavy pornography

involvement for romantic partners: Research and

clinical implications.

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Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 28, 198-206.

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Abstract

This paper presents a paradigm case portrait of the female

romantic partners of heavy pornography users. Based on a

sample of 100 personal letters, this portrait focuses on

their often traumatic discovery of the pornography usage,

and the significance they attach to this usage for (a) their

relationships, (b) their own worth and desirability, and (c)

the character of their partners. Finally, a number of

therapeutic recommendations are made for helping these women

to think and act more effectively in their very difficult

circumstances.

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The Significance of Heavy Pornography Involvement

for Romantic Partners: Research and

Clinical Implications

“Pornography kills love.”

--Bumper sticker.

What does it mean to a woman to discover that her

romantic partner is habitually and heavily involved in

viewing pornography? What does it mean to her, further, to

live continually in a relationship where this is the case?

In this article, we will relate the outcome of research

designed to answer these questions, and delineate some

clinical implications of our findings for therapists working

with couples and individuals on issues of pornography usage.

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The Research

Method

The method employed in this research was to collect and

to study 100 letters posted to four different internet

message boards by spouses, fiances, and girlfriends of men

perceived to be heavily involved in pornography, and to cull

these letters for their recurrent, outstanding themes. The

message boards selected for this research were ones

frequented primarily by self-designated sexual and

pornography “addicts,” and secondarily by partners of these

individuals who had discovered their behavior, were

distraught over it, and were writing in to seek solutions

and emotional support from others who shared their plight

(see final note for listing of specific sites).

Criteria for selection. Beginning with the most recent

letters on these web sites, the second author worked

backward until she had secured 100 that met the following

criteria. First, the writer had to be a woman discussing

her male partner. Second, the problem reported had to be

confined to pornography use; letters indicating that the

partner had gone beyond such use to live, phone, or chat

room contacts with other women were not included. Third,

the letter had to document the writer’s personal experience

with the pornographically involved partner and the meanings

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this had for her. Postings devoted to such things as advice

to other women, personal theories of pornography use, or

religious admonitions were not included.

The letters comprising the final sample were posted

between November, 1999, and September, 2000. They averaged

approximately one half of a single spaced typewritten page

in length (the shortest letter was three long sentences, the

longest one and one half pages). Aside from gender, marital

status, and sexual preference, it was not possible to

ascertain from these anonymous postings any further

demographic information.

Perceived level of pornography usage. The authors of

the letters reported a level of pornography usage that on

average consisted of daily viewing of several hours

duration; in some cases, it was somewhat less than this, in

others, substantially greater. They further reported that

in most cases this usage interfered significantly with the

user’s relational and vocational functioning (e.g., that in

the marital relationship the user had become sexually

disinterested and emotionally withdrawn). Finally, they

related in every case that the user had been either unable

or unwilling to cease his use, except temporarily in some

instances. While a limitation of this study is that the

investigators were not in a position to assess these men

directly, the perceived levels of involvement, if

reasonably accurate, suggested a relationship to pornography

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that would qualify in virtually all cases as heavy and

habitual, and in most as “compulsive” (Coleman, 1990) or

“addictive” (Carnes, 1983, 1991). Given this limitation,

however, the present study should be viewed as one of how,

perceiving the pornographic involvement as described, our

subjects assigned meanings to this involvement.

Method of study. All letters were studied intensively

by the two investigators, who (a) independently identified

major recurring themes, (b) met to identify common themes

noted and to negotiate any differences in what they

observed, and (c) arrived at a consensus regarding the

primary themes expressed in the letters. While the sample

employed is not a random one drawn from the entire

population, it did seem consonant with the first author’s

clinical experience of women who come to therapy with

concerns about their partners’ use of pornography.

Method of report. To report the results of this

inquiry, we will employ a scientific method involving the

presentation of a paradigmatic or prototypical case (Rosch,

1973; Rosch & Mervis, 1975). This will take the form of a

composite portrait or profile of an individual who

exemplifies all of the outstanding themes emerging from the

study of these letters (cf. the method employed by DSM-IV in

describing mental disorders). Where there are significant

departures from this paradigm case, these will be noted.

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Discovery as a Traumatic Event

For the typical woman in our sample, the discovery of

her partner’s extensive pornography use, which might occur

in a single incident or might increasingly dawn on her over

a period of time, alters her view of her world in a radical

way. The discovery is traumatic in the sense that it

confronts her with a new world that she finds devastating,

confusing, and incomprehensible--and one that, as time

passes, leaves her increasingly at a loss regarding how she

might act effectively to

correct the situation. This new world view encompasses

alterations in her perceptions of three related areas: her

relationship with her partner, her view of her own worth and

desirability, and her view of the character of her partner.

Let us examine each of these in turn.

New View of the Relationship

The discovery of her partner’s involvement in

pornography results in a substantial reappraisal of their

relationship. Often, it is connected to, and seems to

explain, other observations that she has been making. Most

notable among these is that her partner seems increasingly

withdrawn and even secretive, and that the quality of their

sexual relationship has deteriorated.

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In previous research by Roberts (1982), Davis and Todd

(1982), Davis (1985), and Bergner (2000), a conception of

the nature of romantic love was developed. The view

emerging from this research was that romantic love is a

relationship that prototypically embodies the following

characteristics: (a) investment in the wellbeing of the

beloved, (b) respect, (c) admiration, (d) sexual desire, (e)

intimacy, (f) commitment, (g) exclusivity, and (h)

understanding. On this analysis, for persons to believe

that they are loved fully by others is to believe that

these others care strongly about their personal wellbeing,

are committed to them, respect and admire them, find them

sexually desirable, include them intimately, understand them

deeply, and give them a position of exclusivity in their

worlds. When events occur that do not fit this picture--

e.g., the partner is discovered to have a secret life from

which they are excluded, or to be having an affair--these

are seen as violations of the love relationship. If such

violations are of sufficient magnitude, the conclusion drawn

will often be that they are not loved--that they no longer

have a place in the world of the other as his or her

beloved. Such is the conclusion drawn by many women who

learn of, and who experience over time, their partner’s

intensive involvement in pornography. Let us examine in

more detail some of the specific

violations of love that they perceive.

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Exclusivity. The vast majority of women in this study

used words such as “betrayal,” “cheating,” and “affair” to

describe the significance that their partner’s involvement

in pornography had for them. Although their partners were

not in actual contact with other females, these women

clearly viewed the pornographic activities as a form of

infidelity. The theme that runs through their letters is

that “He has taken the most intimate aspect of our

relationship, sexuality, something that is supposed to

express the bond of love between us and to be confined

exclusively to this relationship, and shared it with

countless fantasy women.”

Sexual desire. In this regard, two distinct portraits

emerge from subjects. The first is voiced by women in

circumstances where their partners have ceased pursuing

sexual relations with them: “I am no longer sexually

attractive or desirable to him. He’s more attracted to the

women depicted in his movies, magazines, and web sites than

he is to me, and I feel completely unable to compete with

these women.” The second pattern that emerges occurs in the

frequent situation where the pornographically-involved

partner continues to pursue sexual relations with the letter

writer, but his lovemaking conveys to her the following

painful impression: “I am no longer a sexual person or

partner to him, but a sexual object. He is not really with

me, not really making love to me when we have intercourse.

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He seems to be off thinking about something or someone

else--likely those porn women--or he is just inserting me to

play a role in some novel sexual scenario that he saw

somewhere. He is just using me as a warm body.”

Intimacy/inclusion. The dominant theme in this regard

is this: “I have been excluded, isolated, barred from

intimacy with him. I have lost someone who I thought was

my best friend and most intimate companion in life. He now

has a whole secret life from which I am completely excluded,

and about which he continually lies to me.”

Investment in wellbeing of beloved. The typical

conclusion regarding this aspect of love assumes the

following form: “He no longer seems to care about me or my

wellbeing, and he shows this in many ways. Perhaps most

importantly, it does not seem to matter to him (or to matter

enough that he is willing to do anything about it) that I am

devastated by his pornography use and am in great pain.”

Understanding: The predominant theme: “He doesn’t

really know or understand me. In particular, he doesn’t

seem to understand, despite all that I have said, how his

actions affect me. He doesn’t seem to get it--to have a

clue.”

Living a lie. The final emergent theme concerning the

relationship does not pertain to any specific aspect of love

but to a general feeling voiced by many women: “We are

living a shameful lie--presenting a lie to the rest of the

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world--when we pretend to have a loving relationship. What

we really have is a very sick and unhealthy one. I feel a

deep sense of shame over this.”

New View of Self

The typical woman in our sample engages in a personal

struggle regarding

the implications of what has happened for her worth and

value. A part of her struggles to believe that “This is not

about me--this is not a valid indicator of my worth, value,

and desirability as a woman and a person.” Another part of

her says: “Indeed it is about you.” More often than not,

the latter part prevails. She finds herself unable to

believe that the loss of her partner to his pornographic

interests is not a valid indicator of her true worth and

desirability. In her eyes, his involvement implies that

she must be...

Sexually undesirable. The overwhelming majority of

women in this sample reported that their partners’

preference for pornography left them feeling sexually

undesirable. Self-descriptors such as “fat,” “ugly,”

“old,” and “repulsive” were commonplace in their letters.

Over and over again, the note sounded was that they could

not measure up physically to the impossible ideal of the

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women displayed in pornographic movies, magazines, and web

sites.

Worthless. What has happened must mean that she is

worthless, that she is unlovable, and that she must have

failed as a wife and as a woman. After all, she reasons, if

she was good enough, she would have been able to hold her

husband’s attentions and affections and this never would

have happened.

Weak and stupid. Finally, a common theme expressed in

the letters was that anyone who would let herself be treated

in such degrading ways, and would not respond either by

leaving the relationship or by taking other powerful

measures to respect herself and her personal limits, must be

a weak and stupid person (a further basis for shame).

New View of Partner

In many cases, the partner’s heavy involvement in

pornography results in his mate coming to a new view of his

character and personal worth. The general conclusion drawn

is that “He is not the person I thought he was, but someone

else, and someone for whom I have a great deal less

respect.” Thus the demotion or degradation described above

becomes a two way street. He has excluded and marginalized

her in critical ways due to his preoccupation with

pornography. And now, learning of his predilections, she

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has degraded him as a person and, often, as one whom she

finds she can love as before. The most frequent of her new

characterizations of him are the following:

Sexually degraded. In her eyes, he has become a

“pervert,” a “sex addict,” a “sexual degenerate,” or in some

other way a sexually questionable and degraded being. In

some number of cases, he is seen, not only as sexually

degenerate, but as progressing to further and deeper

degeneration. The most common basis for this attribution is

her discovery that he is involving himself in increasingly

“sicker” material (e.g., pictures of children, of sadistic

scenarios, or of bathroom activities). Finally in this

regard, he is often viewed as an objectifier of women; i.e.,

as someone who treats women, not as co-entitled persons with

desires, rights, and

feelings of their own, but as depersonalized commodities

whose function is to sexually gratify him.

Liar. The great majority of women in our sample

reappraised their partners as liars. They came to view them

as untrustworthy, deceitful persons whose word could no

longer be trusted.

Unloving/selfish: Another common reappraisal of these

men was that they were individuals who were invested

exclusively in their own pleasure at the expense of everyone

else’s wellbeing. In short, the view was that these men had

either ceased loving or had never loved in the first place.

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Inadequate father and husband. Where children are

involved, the user often comes to be seen as a failure in

his crucial role as a father. This view is based on her

perceptions that he has exposed his children to pornography,

has damaged and deprived them by his continual failures to

be available to them, and has set a terrible example for

them. Further, he is seen as having failed to be a true

husband and partner to her in the marriage.

Sick or bad?: A critical dichotomy. Many women in

our sample developed a view of their partners as sick. They

described them variously as “addicted,” “not fully

responsible,” “not in control,” and beset with what they

viewed as a mental illness. In contrast, many others

viewed their partners as fully responsible wrongdoers who

were making a free choice in putting pornography over them

(“putting his dick before me” was a recurrent expression).

Finally, many expressed a tremendous amount of confusion in

this regard, stating either that they could not comprehend

what was going on, or describing their partners

simultaneously as both sick and bad. Not surprisingly, in

the measure that these women viewed their partners as in the

grips of an illness, they also viewed them as less

responsible for their actions, and stated a greater

willingness to stay in the relationship and try to help

them.

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Repentant or unrepentant: A second critical dichotomy.

A second critical factor affecting both the woman’s view of

her partner and her willingness to stay in the relationship

was the degree to which she perceived him as repentant for

his behavior. In cases where the partner exhibited such

actions as admitting that he had a serious problem,

expressing remorse for his behavior and its consequences,

and making a commitment to changing it, these served to

greatly mitigate the devastating picture of him articulated

above and to lessen her desire to leave the relationship.

In cases where evidence of such repentance and desire to

change were absent, the female partner’s loss of respect and

motivation to terminate the relationship were greatly

elevated.

Some Implications for Psychotherapy

The view of reality held by the women in our sample is

not unrealistic or illogical, but it is maladaptive. It

leads in many instances to helplessness, despair and

inactivity; and in others to all manner of ineffective

action. Most common among these actions are attempts to

change the partner through angry attack, personal

degradation, expression of pain, threats to leave, removal

of the offending materials, continual surveillance of his

activities, and strenuous attempts to get him out of denial

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to a realization of what he is doing. In the great majority

of cases, these actions have proven futile for the women

under discussion here.

This section is devoted to the presentation of a more

adaptive alternative formulation of the situation described

above. This formulation is designed to help both therapist

and client better understand what is going on. It is

further designed to enable the female partner to become more

of an observer and less a reactive responder, to realize

that what is going on is in critical ways “not about her,”

and to generate more effective courses of action should she

wish to save her relationship, or even just save herself.

The centerpiece of this revised view is an understanding of

what is going on in what is variously referred to as

“compulsive” (Coleman, 1990) or “addictive” (Carnes, 1983,

1991) pornography use. The following therapeutic

recommendations are intended for those clinical situations

where careful assessment reveals that the female partner is

correct in her perception that her partner is pathologically

involved in pornography usage, as indicated by such

dimensions as amount of time spent, inability to cease use,

and serious interference with relational and vocational

functioning.

The Nature of Pornography Addiction

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Pornography addiction, whether “normal” or paraphilic

in its content, is a species of the broader category of

sexual addiction or compulsion. This being the case, we

draw here on a number of established researchers and

clinicians who have come to a certain conclusion about such

addictions. In broad terms, this conclusion is that the

sexually compulsive person, whether he or she be involved

with pornography, paraphilic acts, relentless cruising, or

other activities, is in the business of repair to his or her

self-esteem. Sexual acting out, which in many cases is

more pronounced after a blow to the individual’s self-esteem

(Carnes, 1991; Coleman, 1991), is on various accounts an

attempt to restore one’s sense of personal worth following

an insult to the masculine self-image (Coleman, 1991), to

recover from explicitly sexual childhood degradations

(Bergner, 1988), or to triumph over very damaging childhood

sexual indoctrinations (Money, 1984, 1986).

A clinically useful analogy for capturing in more

illuminating detail what is going on in sexual compulsivity,

and for humanizing the addicted person by drawing parallels

to nonsexual problems, may be found in the following case

illustration. The case involves a young doctoral candidate

in English literature whom we shall call “William.” William

had had a childhood marked by an unusually great amount of

humiliating and degrading treatment at the hands of others.

This treatment had brought about in him a resolve that one

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day he would “show them all” by achieving a vindictive

triumph over his old familial and peer detractors. As his

talents and inclinations developed, the form that this

vindictive triumph assumed was a fantasied scenario in which

he would write the great American novel, would become

heralded as the next Thomas Wolfe, and would be universally

praised both in bastions of literary excellence and in

popular venues such as Time and Newsweek. In this scenario,

his old degraders would seek him out, flattering him and

seeking to be included in his inner circle of friends.

However, when approached by them, he would dismiss them with

a statement such as, “Excuse me, but I’m afraid I don’t

remember you at all, and I’m really quite busy, so if you

wouldn’t mind...” William spent a great deal of time

indulging in this most gratifying fantasy, doing so to such

a degree that it interfered with his life in important ways

and became the focus of significant therapeutic attention.

In this example, we note three things. First, William

is obsessed with a preferred scenario that has its origins in

his early experiences of humiliation and degradation.

Second, this scenario represents an “accreditation ceremony”

(Bergner, 1987; Ossorio, 1978); i.e., a scenario that, were

it to occur in reality, would (or so he believes) lift him

from his degraded status among other persons to a new

position of vindictive triumph over them and of vast public

acclamation. In the scenario, he has created a world

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conveying ultimate salvation for him and recovery from his

childhood humiliations. Third, this accreditaton ceremony

is unsuccessful--it does not in fact achieve recovery for him.

Transposing this to the domain of compulsive sexuality,

the heavy and habitual user of pornography, like every

individual, has a preferred sexual scenario. This scenario,

famously termed a “lovemap” by John Money (1984, 1986),

shows up in his or her erotic dreams, sexual fantasies, and

pornographic preferences. This scenario, like William’s, is

based on the individual’s experience and, in the case of

pornographic or other sexual addictions, represents a

fantasied world in which the individual overcomes childhood

degradations and achieves a powerful personal accreditation:

now he is desired, adored, and even loved by a beautiful

woman; or humiliates women as they once humiliated him (cf.

Stoller, 1975) ; or exposes himself to the amazement and

wonder of a desirable woman; and so forth. It is this

element of personal validation or accreditation that, when

coupled with the already vast erotic satisfactions inherent

in sexuality, make for such an addictive “cocktail” for

these persons. Finally, however, the ceremony must fail.

It has not occurred in reality--he has not actually achieved

recovery and personal validation. Even worse, it leaves him

in most cases feeling more degraded and depressed in its

aftermath for a variety of reasons. For example, he

recognizes that he has once more lost control and spent

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hours in feverish pursuit of sex; and/or that his preferred

scenario is an unacceptable, “perverted” one; and/or that he

is failing and hurting a woman who loves him by excluding

her in favor of these degrading images. Thus, once the

satisfactions of fantasied validation and orgasmic satiety

have passed, he is left degraded and depressed, and thus in

ever greater need of a new “fix” to restore, however

temporarily, his diminished esteem (cf. Coleman, 1991; Gold

& Heffner, 1998; Wolf, 1988).

Therapeutic Implications

This general view of compulsive pornography use has

applications in clinical work with couples, as well as with

the users or their partners seen individually. Since our

focus in this report is on the female partners of male

users, we will focus on its use with them. When shared with

these partners, the formulation has the following important

applications.

“It’s not about you.” First of all, if accepted, the

formulation gives the individual a view of her partner’s

addiction that says, “This is not about you.” It informs

her that it essentially has to do with childhood

degradations from which her mate is trying strenuously to

recover. It takes the compulsion out of the realm of being

any sort of valid indicator of her personal worth, value, or

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desirability; and into the realm of its being his creation

of a restitutional world for purposes of personal recovery.

Finally, it says to her that it is true that she can’t

compete with it as such--but it is true only in the same

sense that she, like every other human being, can’t compete

with highly idealized fantasies of a world made precisely to

the fantasizer’s order. Thus, the therapist may use the

reformulation as a way to attack the self-degradations

described above that are so characteristic of partners of

heavy pornography users. Clearly, whether she decides

ultimately to leave the relationship or to try to salvage

it, this is a vital therapeutic objective.

Diminishing the degradation of the partner. Accepting

this revised view of her partner’s addiction is, in many

cases, tantamount to degrading him less. On this view, he

is no longer cast as a “sicko” or a “pervert” who is beyond

the pale of acceptable human society. Rather, he is viewed

as a man, in many cases a decent man, who is in a

pathological state--who has, in Wakefield’s (1992) apt

expression, a mental disorder that amounts to a “harmful

dysfunction.” Viewing him thus serves to reduce her

contempt, anger, and dismissal of him as a decent human

being. Finally, it can help her to view the problem with

more dispassion and objectivity, and thus to undertake any

needed action on this more rational basis.

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Implications for revised behavior. The partner of the

pornography addict, based on her formulation of the problem,

has characteristically engaged in certain behaviors. Based

on a maladaptive problem formulation, these behaviors have

been largely unsuccessful, and have often served to create a

systemic situation where her attempted solutions have become

a part of the problem (Watzlawick, Weakland, & Fisch, 1974).

Typically, she has engaged in intensely emotionally- driven

behaviors designed to get her partner to “see” and to

change. These have included attacking, degrading,

imploring, threatening, reasoning, expressing pain,

continually checking on him to see if he is using, removing

or destroying the offending materials, and trying to be more

sexy to win him back. As a rule, rather than improving the

situation, her coercion has elicited resistance, her attacks

have evoked hostility and increased shame, and her attempts

to gain control have been met with a determination not to be

controlled.

Aside from eliciting the consequences just mentioned,

the actions of the female partner have been problematic in

further ways. First, an ample body of experimental

(Goleman, 1995) and clinical (Bowen, 1978; Lerner, 1989)

literature attests to the destructive effects of letting

one’s behavior be driven by emotion at the expense of

observation, thought, and personal principle. In the

present instance, this is clearly the case. The female

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partner is characteristically in an understandable, yet

highly problematic, state of emotional desperation, and her

behavior tends to assume a quality of high emotional

reactivity. When given a more adequate understanding of the

nature of her partner’s problem, she is also given a central

basis for (a) understanding the situation better and thus

how to deal more effectively with it, (b) being more

objective and rational in her responding, and (c) being less

devastated by it, all of which run counter to emotional

responding. Beyond this, explicit assistance by the

therapist in stressing observation, careful planning, and

personal principle over letting oneself be emotionally

triggered is all to the good (Bowen, 1978; Lerner, 1989).

Finally in this connection, the female partner’s

behavior routinely violates the therapeutic truism that one

is best served to remove one’s energy from changing the

other and to place that energy into changing oneself (Bowen,

1978; Lerner, 1989). Under this heading, she is well

advised to reconsider her efforts to change him, and if

necessary to review how her past attempts to do so have

failed. More positively, an excellent therapeutic focus is

on a course of action entailing (a) carefully defining her

own personal limits regarding what she can and cannot live

with, (b) communicating these to her partner in a spirit,

not of ultimatum or of bending him to her will, but of

preserving her own dignity and integrity, and (c) taking

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actions up to and including separation to back up such

statements (Lerner, 1989). Beyond this, a careful and

dispassionate review of what she herself might be

contributing to the marital dysfunction, and actions to

change any problematic behaviors and omissions on her part,

are worthwhile emphases.

Conclusion: Limitations and Clarifications

Sample Characteristics

The present sample, as noted at the outset, was

selected from internet message boards dedicated to

discussions of pornography and other sexual “addictions.”

It was comprised entirely of women who perceived that their

partners were heavily involved in viewing pornography, felt

distraught and helpless over this, and were writing in to

seek solutions from others. The sample was drawn neither

from the population at large, nor from some other, broader

and more diverse, population. Thus, we cannot answer many

important and interesting questions that might be addressed

by employment of such samples. Are there many women who

would be relatively undisturbed by their partners’ similar

involvement in pornography? How do women feel about more

limited use of pornography by their partners? How

frequently do men, in the face of their partners’ discovery

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of and objections to their use, abandon it? Are there women

who are problematically involved with pornography, and, if

so, what significance do male partners ascribe to this?

Finally, however, it might be noted that the present sample

does possess important features that are highly

characteristic of women who seek therapeutic assistance.

All of our subjects were emotionally upset by the problem;

their problem formulations and attempted solutions had thus

far been unsuccessful in bringing about change; and they had

come to other persons in the hope that these persons could

provide effective solutions for their problems (Watzlawick

et al., 1974).

On Sexual Addiction

With respect to sexual addiction, two final things need

be said. First, as noted previously, a limitation of the

present study is that we were unable to assess the

pornography use of the male partners directly. Thus,

strictly speaking, the study is one of the reactions of

women who perceive that their partners are heavily,

habitually, and most often addictively involved in

pornography. Second, the concept of “sexual addiction” is

itself a controversial one (Gold & Heffner, 1998). However,

despite this controversy, there is broad agreement that a

substantial number of persons develop involvements with

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sexuality wherein they spend inordinate amounts of time in

its pursuit, this pursuit seriously interferes with their

relational and vocational functioning, and they are unable

to cease this pursuit when they attempt to do so (Goodman,

1992). In employing the terms “addiction” and “compulsion”

in this article, we wish only to designate such relations to

pornography, and not to take any position in the ongoing

debate regarding whether this is best considered an

addiction, a compulsion, or an impulse disorder (cf. Gold &

Heffner, 1998; Goodman, 1992) .

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Notes

1. The web sites employed for this research were

(a) “Breaking Pornography Addiction” (http://www.no-

porn.com/)

(b) “Internet Addiction Discussion Group”

(http://users.cgiforme.com/

anniblesmith/cfmboard.html)

(c) “Online Sexual Addiction (OSA) Bulletin Board”

(http://

onlinesexaddict.org)

(d) Relationship Web (http://relationshipweb.com).

2. The authors wish to thank Dr. Laurie Bergner for her very

helpful critique of an earlier draft of this paper.

Correspondence may be directed to Raymond M. Bergner, Ph.D.,

Department of Psychology, Illinois State University, Normal,

IL 61790-4620

30