The University Echo Volume 12 University of Chattanooga, April 10, 1918 Number In

ECHOES OF U. C.'S 1917-18 ATHLETICS Red Gardner.

We were nnfo f uni te in losing our

captain, at the beginning of the sea­

son, through graduation. Ile I Gard­

ner has been one of our leading

SPRING DRAWS CURTAIN ACROSS THE BASKETBALL FLOOR, LEAVING U. C.'S CONQUERORS

W. V. (Bil l) Jarratt, Although Handicapped by Lack of Material, Developed a Winning Team—Seven of the Nine

Games Played Won Two Lost

PROSPECTS BRIGHT FOR ALL SPORTS NEXT YEAR-FOOTBALL COACH HAS BEEN SIGHTED

U. C.'s 1918 C o n q u e r i n g Basket -bal l H e r o e s

CAPTAIN

athletic men for the past three years.

lie has made his " C " in football.

basketball and baseball. The whole

teams work hinged around "Bed," w ho played center. (hinliier is an

In running back over the season

of 1917-18, I am impressed with

the fiicl that the I'liiversity of Chat­

tanooga, like many other colleges.

has made a serious mistake by drop­ping her inter-collegiate athletics. However, we shall undoubtedly

profit by this mistake. All ready we

.lie planning on a fuller and more

interesting athletic program for next

year than our University has ever

known. With the completion of the

Science building and chapel, wc are

expecting a revival of school spirit,

which shall be unprecedented. To begin with, football is to be

reinstated next fall. We are now looking for a man, who will (rive

alumnus of MeLemoresville High his time to turning out the best

football machine in mir history. We

have such ;i uiiin in mind af present.

While we are not yet at liberty to

announce bis name, vet we are as­

sured that he will accept our offer.

School, which is noted for its base­

ball record in Tennessee.

Alfred Loaring-Clark.

The -cKind forward was played

by Alfred Loaring-Clark, who reg- j.-j ,-,,,.„ . . | » . m s " (nv football, and istered more goals for the season ,)„.„ ,,,•,,,,.„ fnI. ,|1(, n e w ,,,. l(.|K

than any other man on the team.

Clark'- highest run was thirteen.

football next year will lie required io take gymnasium. A course in calesthenics, apparatus work, gym games, tumbling and an acrobatic team will furnish interest in this department.

Immediately follow ing the Christ­mas holidays, practice was begun in basketball. The team vve had ibis vear could have held its own

l

with any team of its weight in the

Smith. The team won seven games iiml lost two. The lirsl game played was lost to the Central V. M. ('.' A. team of this city, and was played before we had had even a scrimmage. Our second defeat was at the hands of the Field Artillery. Battery A, of Virginia. This team was for three years the champion team of Virginia, iind also of the Richmond Basketball league. Indeed, they were worthy foes. With the return next year of Clark, Evans iiml probably Carmack, we shall have a good nucleus from which to build a fast

Jesse Carmack.

The fifth niiin on the team is

Jesse Carmack. \ ' o one thought

tluit .Je.-s,' could play basketball un­til he Wiis tried out al guard. The

trvdiit was evidence enough, for none

of the second squad forwards could

put in a counter on him. except when inclination struck him lo hr charitable. Carmack is a graduate

of c i ty High, of Chattanooga, how­ever, most of his High school work wiis done at ('mitral lliizh.

All men who do not go out for team.

his brothers, Joe was called home to and .a manager that really played,

help his father carry mi business, lie had an eye for the basket which very seldom tailed him. Dunlap

came to the tlnivereitv from Chatta-

Max Evans.

The sixth imin. vv ho was a g I

utility num. playing forward and guard equally well, is Maxwell Kvan-. locally known as Max. Evans i- the only member of the Freshman class to make a letter in basketball

llaskcw made bis name shine with glory hist year on Spiegel's football Squad. We are hoping to have him UOOgfl High School. Ile Was ;l good

athlete while in High School, but bis development since entering tin

back next year. Ilaskew- came to

US front Smith h t t sbu rg High

school, ill which school be was promi­

nent in football, baseball and basket-

bail. ( l la-kew's picture arrived too

laic I'm- publication.

Bradley Dunlap.

Bradley Dunlap, mir manager, hai

Lniversitv has been remarkable.

W. V. Jarratt. William V. Jar ra t t , otherwise

known as "Bill ," came to us lasl

vear at the close of football season.

Being ;i graduate of Baylor school, " T i b " came to u< with a love of ath­letics instilled i;i him. lie wa-champion swimmer, not only of Bay­lor scho il. but for two vears has held the amateur swimming cham­pionship of this city. We are hop­ing in dev clop him into a football player for next fall.

Joe Haskew.

doe Ilaskew Wiis olle of the best

guards for his statue tluit has evei been seen o|| a local llool', illld llils MANAGER sent nianv a star forward home with ju-t recently been accepted in the Although we all knew he was a line only one goal to his credit. On ac- Naval Resreves iit New Orleans, athlete, as well as a good student, he count of the enlistment of two nf ••Colonel" was a playing manager, immediately showed his ability as a

thi- season. Max was greatly handi­capped throughout the season by a "bum" knee, which vva-; hurt playing football two year- ago in Indiana Preparatory school.

COACH

gymnast, basketball and tennis play­er, making us all wish that he had entered college a tittle earlier, in time to plav mi the football team. Hut. although, we could not have him for football, he certainly made up for it in basketball iiml "gym" work, being captain of the Freshman team, and leader of the gym classes.

So ii was certainly no surprise to [Continued on Page Seren\

THE UNIVERSITY ECHO

Y. W. C. A. ELECTS OFFICERS

Miss Campbell New President—Miss-es Campbell and Sowers At­

tend Conference. Thursday, April I. the new officers

of the V. W. C. A. were installed. Thev are: M iss (lampbell, president: Miss Kiitie Pearl Jones, vice-presi- to examine. dent; Miss Blanche:fiowers, secre-j With best wishes, I am.

congratulate yon on your especially line examination papers. Your papers show that ymi have given much lime iind thoughl to the study of law, iind tlmt ymi are unusally well qualified I'm' ihe profession ; in fact, ymir paper was one of the bes! that it has ever been their pleasure

tary; Miss Catherine Conn, treas­urer. Other members ot the cabinet. appointed by the presidenl. are: Mis- Helen Ingersoll.; Pihle Study committee; Miss Frances King. Mis--iiui Study committee; Miss Vir­ginia ('harlton. Membership commit­tee; Mis- Mary Sussdorf, Publicity committee, ami Mis- Lois Sowers, Conference committee. Miss (lamp-bell iind Miss Blanche Sowers left mi Friday to attend a V. W. C. A. conference at Lebanon a- represents live- of the University.

Yours Truly, lb I." MOORE.

INTERESTING NEWS FOR EVERY ONE.

HAROLD BAUER IN TRIUMPH.

Tiie Chattanooga Music club added niie more stiir to its crown when it brought Harold Ibnier here. li was indeed a happy event. Tin artists' personality with its quiet dignity won his audience before he struck ;i note. His program in it self vve- ;i iiiaslerpiei e. | | i s lechllic

-in-- well nigh III the limit of human

perfection, Imi bis greatest strength lie- in his marvelous gilt of poeth interpretation.

Mr. Bauer opened his program wiih ;i splendid performance of Beethoven's ••Aurora Sonata,"

Committee on Public Information. Washington, D. C.

March 5, I IMS. To the Editor:

Your attention is called to the or­der printed below which has been sent to camp commanders of Na­tional Army cantonments and Na­tional Guard iamps throughout the United State-. The order permits persons in the military service, nn der certain regulations, to write lor publieation in newspapers and peri­odicals.

Very sincerelv,

.1. W. McCOXAUGHY, Director. Division of News.

criticism of superiors and tin spreading of false reports which icnd to injure the military service constitute breaches of military dis­cipline.

5. None of the foregoing applies io iroops in Europe. The Com­manding General, American Expe­ditionary Forces, will establish such regulations in this respect as the sit­uation may seem to him to require.

The object of Ibis order is to sat­isfy, iis fiir is compatible with the protection of military interests, the natural desire of the people to keep in touch with their soldier represent­atives. It is. therefore, expected tluit all concerned will comply with both the letter and the spirit of its provisions.

Nolle of the foregoing applies to

press dispatches filed from National Army or National Guard canton­ments or camps by regularly paid newspaper correspondent- not in the military service. Their copy will not be censored by military author­ity, but the camp commander will instruct them that they must rigidly adhere to the requests for secrecy with respect to information of value to the enemy, as defined in the print­ed card sent out by the Committee on Public information. On viola­tion of these requests, the offending i oi respondent will be deprived of the privileges of the camp.

By order of the Secretary of War. TASKKK II. BLISS,

Major General, Acting chief of

Stall'. Official: II. P. McCain. The Adju­

tant General.

ALPHA SIGMA PHI WAGES SUCCESSFUL THRIFT

STAMP CAMPAIGN

Wiir Department. Washington, January 2, 1918.

General Orders. No. I.

E.rlract.

1. All persons in the military sc.vice are forbidden to act as paid correspondents for or contributors

i i • ,i ,.; , ,,,t i.riiii-ini to any newspaper, magazine, or other plnved ill Hie crisp and ni illiani • . ' '

I i <; „, i ,„ ,„ , i ' it pub Mention, or to receive anv pax -s ( y | e t h e c o l l i IH'SI I |( rll (It -111 il IK I - . It ' . I . i- , . ,i.; ,,,,.,t.i i„ ment or reward whatever from anv i- a far cry I nun tin- sonata to a i •' ••*. .. i',. ,.. n , ; u < l | , ' l | publication lor anv letter or N'hiiinanii - Scenes Irmn ( hint- . ' . ' • , , , , | •• , , , , i. i ,i.,, ,....., item ol new- written or lurnishei hv hood, bul Mr. Bauer made the turn-sition will, delightful case -a tran , l , , 'm- » ' h e t h e r , l"' a r t , d e '•' ' I ' " -sition fro,,, the awe-inspiring glo- • ,B s''111 , 1 , r e c j " ' t h e P a P e r '"' ,ie- of the northern lights to the I"' l»cal, or consists of private cor-mem laughter of happv little ehil- respondence which the writer per-die,,. If the poet.V 0f the Pole "I H> to be p„bl ishi'd . Mickiewiez, which furnished Chopin *• Kxcepi ™ above prohibited., the subject matter for his ballads, is there is no objection to the writing The Alpha Sigma Phi Thrift anvthing like as beautiful poetrv as " r , e t t e r s '"' t h e fn™whin« of news Stamp agency has proved a tremen-il„. ballads themselves are music, 'terns to newspapers, magazines, etc., dous success. During the two weeks whv don't son f us learn Polish? f r o m , m " ' '" , i m ' ' - ™ «" l l"' publiea- in which the sale has been going on. Harold Bauer's rendering of the " ,"1- with t h e e o n 8 e n < o f "" ' w r i t e r> "Ballad in A flat" was the most of personal and private correspond-beantiful we ever heard. The in,- ? n c e ' P rovu1e<1 such activities do not petuous ardor of the first movemenl interfere with the proper perform- that practically ever)' student who and the bewitching grace of the sec- a n c e o J military duty, anl provided has bought stamps intend- to con-,,n,| movement as plaved by Mr. a l s o t h a < , l"' following direction-' tinue buying each week. We arc Bauer can never be foriotti ! a r e Wthfulh complied with. | sorry, since we happen to be girls,

THE EDITOR'S BUSY DAY

One-Act Farce-Burlesque to Be Staged at Chapel by Dr. Harris'

Class of Forensics.

The Editor's Busy Day Is a One Act Farce-Burlesque play writ ten by Mrs. Lynn II. Karris, Dr. Harris' mot her. It was played for three seasons on the professional vaude­ville stage. It will be given by Dr. Harris' class in Forensics. at the chapel period, Friday, April 19th. The act requires about thirty min­utes to be stiiged. The characters

will be: Editor Max Evans. Sam, the office boy . . .Tmu Storie. Miss Carrie, stenographer,

Francis King. Miss Pipkins of Pinhole

Junction Gladys Burton. Editors Note: It will be easy to

pick the Busy Day, because every dav is a busv dav for an Editor.

DOGS OF MY DAY

Boys Prove to Be Best "Stamp Buy­ers"—Campaign On Every

Monday.

$80 worth of Thrift Stamps includ­ing four War-Savings Stamps, have been .-old. 'Flu' best part of all i-

e permit- ns only to name the remainder of the program. The ar­tist played with amazing virtuosity the liliick-Saint-Saciis "Air de Pal­let." compositions by Couperin and Alkan. and two composition- bv Liszt, the "Etude in D Flat," and the "Hungarian Rhapsody No. Lb"

New Honor for Duty. Lehman 82, 1918.

Mr. Ezekiel Duty. I'liiversity of Chattanooga, Chattanooga, Tenn.

Dear Sir:— We are esjieeially pleased to notify

you thai you successfully passed the recent Par Examinations, and the Board has just issued to you a license to practice law. which has been -ein

to the Supreme Court for the Big-natures of the Judges. As soon n-it i- returned to me. upon the receipt

3. All letters containing matter that it is necessary to report a much for publication, as above authorized, greater number of stamps sold to inii-i lie sent through the officer, tl>(' gentlemen than to the ladies. hereinafter provided for. charged The agency is delighted with the with the duty of censoring letters response which the students have for publicaetion. No letter designed made during this campaign. $80 in whole or in part for publication raised in two weeks by less than 100 will be mailed otherwise than College students, sounds good to Un-through the above-mentioned officer. cleSam! Let's keep it up! Remem-and such letters will he alvvavs lefl ber EACH MONDAY IS THRIFT unsealed. STAMP DAV.

b The commanding officer of ev­e n camp, cantonment, and training Y. M. C. A. depot or detachment in the United States will detail a suitable officer For the past several weeks our to perform the duties of censor of all own X. M. ('. A. men have ad-matter intended for publication and dressed the meeting-. Two week-; written by persons in the military ago Mr. Smith spoke from the words service. This officer will delete all of St. Paul: "Present Your Bodies references capable of furnishing im- a Living Sacrifice." Last week Mr. portant information to the enemy. Kenna gave a talk on Missions. He

The commanding officer will also outlined and briefly developed the of the $3.00 from you, I shall semi j tall to the attention of all persona religions of Korea, China and India.!

in militaiy service writing for pub- and -poke of some of the condition! il III vmi. The Board wishes to particularly' lication, or otherwise, the fact thai that affront the modern missionary.

HOW TO TRAIN D0(iS. Told by a Freshman.

Training dogs ig much like the great business of the world -train-in- children. Lltiinale success de mauds that the process begin e irly.

At this point I think of the long -ni cession of canines that the gods have entrusted to my keeping. The first that I distinctly remember was Toby. He was a very delinquent character. How many times after dark did I sit mi the back steps III iwiiit his return, and bow grieved I was when he failed to put in his appearance! That was hmg ago. I vva- si ill a citizen of the nursery. Indeed. I remember to have mimed

Toby after a famous dog in the dingle Book—

••Toby wiis ii Doctor, Ami kept a Doctor's shop." And Hard Times! (I did not

name him) I have exciting mem­ories of him. When he was a pup. he had iin uncontrollable propensity for running away. When he reached a more advanced stage of adolescence be took particular delight in accel­erating the -\iovi] of our cow—a form of entertainment thiit made it an arduous task to conduct the gen­tle bov ine to her pastille. Altogeth­er tluit dog caused a great deal of unnecessary exercise. Now. Sheba i- the reigning favorite. She is lightly named. 1 thoroughly be­lieve in the transmigration of souls. Sheba is the reincarnation of the serpent of the Nile.

I was to tell how to train dogs. hilt the recollection of mv dOOT I mi

v inces me that 1 know little of how-to train the race. Indeed. 1 believe they have taught me more than I ever taught them. But if ;i spinster of retiring ways iiml uncertain years t ;in edit the matrimonial column of ;i newspaper, I surely can sav some­thing on my subject. So here goes. Begin early, keep eternally at it. and maybe Fido will not depart from the wav he should tro.

Dr. Harris (in English)—Mr. Calloway, give me a sentence Using the word "notwithstanding."

Callowav The little boy wore his nants out. Imi not with standing.— Bullsheviki Censor.

THE UNIVERSITY ECHO 3

Joy Bayless. Joy Ibiyless -yes, Joy, the cap­

tain, and certainly here's "some­thing in a name." She's been the chief "Joy" in every form of ath­letics for the last three years, and before that for years and years up at Athens, "her own home town." As a basketball forward, she's un­surpassed, and in every other .-port. Joy is the standard. An injury to her knee threatened a setback, if not an end, to her athletics, but Joy just "couldn't be bothered" by any­thing like that, and her determina­tion and love of sports have almost overcome her injury entirely. It's

GIRLS' BASKETBALL TEAM CLOSED THEIR SEASON WITHOUT ONCE BEING DEFEATED

By Defeating the Strong Team from Maryville College They May Claim the East Tennessee Collegiate

Championship

MANY INTER-COLLEGIATE GAMES ARE BEING SOUGHT FOR NEXT YEAR-STRONG TEAM EXPECTED

U. C.'s 1918 Undefeated Basket-ball Heroines

The season opened after several court. The low score was also i\\\o

weeks of hard practice with a game in part lo the fact that Joy di:l not

in the U. C. Gym with Central High go into the ga ue until the second

the Maryville girls invaded and then —Well, she decided "lo live and learn." Three years of prep, school basketball "on the lirst team" have been her prcpai'iit ion for her most successful lirst vear iit college.

Mary Sussdorff.

Mary Sussdorff, the "guard with the bulldog grip," slicks closer lliiiii a friend. After running yourself to death to get away f rom her. you

draw a deep breath and prepare to

play unguarded, when along comes Mary, or rather -he's been there all the iime, and sticks closer ihiin ever. M;:rv i- our "one best bet" for the

Reading; left to right Vivian Browne, Va. Charlton, Hattie Rodgers, Nelle Burdick, Gladys Burton, Mary Sussdorff, Joy Bayless {Captain) Inserts—left to right—Evelyn Haring (Coach), Margaret Hunt {Manager)

impossible to adequately descritx Joy, ;i< she is the acme of efficiency in everything.

I Lit tie .Rodgers.

Hattie Rodgers, the other forward, is from Ilixson. but as she has been iii L. C. three years, seems quite a Inmie product. Staunch and steady Hattie got "riled up" in the Mary-ville game and fought and dribbled like ;i hero. Vmi all know llatties' charm teii-tic jump, and everyone ac­cused her of having the baskets "vamped." And that "Well" of hers' i- simply too funny for anything.

Virginia Charlton.

"Va." Charlton" is the comic sup­plement of the team, but all tho -ame she fills her part to a finish. Although unable to play in our big Lr;iine. -he certainly "showed her -peed" ill the prep school scrim-

school. The girls defeated their op­ponents by ii very large score, due chiefly to their lack of team work. Ill spite of the absence of one of the

regular forwards, Francis Cope, a guard, substituting, the [J. c. team worked their signals and displayed a lot of careful prai tiie. Central was again defeated on their own floor, but by a much smaller -core.

The 1'niversity girls were very much handicapped by the walled-in

mages, reaching the zenith of her career in a Central game when she THREW A COAL. Virginia has recovered from that shock, "but she never will look (he same, again."

Gladys Burton. Gradys Burton (she wants it dis­

tinctly understood she's from In diana ). was one of the most "heroic heroines" in the Maryville game.

hal l .

The big iiml final game of the season was played mi Feb. 23 on mir own floor against Maryville. The seme was: Maryville, 11 : I . e . . II. All the details of this struggle have appeared previously ill these col­umns.

III addition to these games the team had several scrimmages with City High and one with G. P. S. They far outplayed their opponents in all of these.

"She makes a specialty" of inter­cepted passes, and so perfectly doe-she lill her position its guard that her forward always "n L syni-pa-lliies."

Vivian Browne. Vivian Browne- center up ' sig­

nals, please!—Ves. Vivian ii the center and quite fitted by nature to be one, too. She thought she held the championship in heighth until

next three years. Like Vivian iind Virginia, Mary is a City High ex­port.

\e l le Burdick. Nelle Burdick was a combination

center iiml guard substitute. She comes from Boaz, Ala., and ha- suf­ficient strength to make her an ex­cellent player.

Margaret Hunt represents oui only "casualty list" for this vear. A broken linger put her "oui of t om-miasion, and ended her playing for thi- year. But she was a most ef­ficient manager and scorekeeper, be­sides being a general encourager to the whole team.

Emma Sue Smartt. Emma Sue Smartt iind Francis

Cope, our dear departed, both helped greatly in our "undefeated run" for 1918. Francis came back and helped us in the Maryville game. Both cer­tainly Were lo—es to L. ('. athletics.

4

Gbe Tflnlverelty Ccbo

Published the mill and 24th of t b mouth iiy tin- student! of the Unlvenlty of Chattanooga. Entered at the fostofflce nt Chattauoogn. Tenn., Jan. 4, 1907, us second class mail matter.

Editor in Chief fames R. Helms Associate Editor losepb B, Calloway

STAFF. News Editor I. Blegar Hunt Exchanges Borah Stansell Cnmints Editor Pannle Winer Athletic Editor Alfred Loarlng Clark Alumni Editor Sylvester Harris joke Editor Nm'i H. Cardwell

MANAGERS. Business C O. Brown Circulation Leou Wiley

Subscription Rates 50c per year

APRIL in, 1918

THE UNIVERSITY ECHO

EDITORIAL

;t supreme devolion to country ami

an invincible determination to per­

forin the imperative duties of the

hour co-operation, nol antogonism.

* ft • : ; •

American and English Income Taxes .

In compar i son with the tax levied

in E n g l a n d <ai incomes o u r own inc-

t o n i e taxes are m o d e r a t e , indeed.

I n England t h e tax on incomes of

$ 1 , 0 0 0 is I l-'i pe r ecu! : in Amer ica

n o t h i n g .

In England t he tax on incomes

of $1 ,500 i- 6 3-1 per c e n t : in Amer ­

ica n o t h i n g for m a r r i e d men or head

of a family, and 2 per cent of $ 5 0 0

for .-in u n m a r r i e d man .

BULSHEVf -'•'•**"% Sf'M'f /MSiiWl ftWOTfit V>UIU<\ ^ « » i A i % \ ^ ^ < s .

I. B. F U L L E R - B U L L , Editor I. B. NUTSKI, *imi« Rtpriunlath,

0OPYEU1HT mis.

Our Debut.

To Whom It May Concern: Greeting, Know ye all i>v his.

sily of Chattanooga has become hope­lessly swamped in it. we will en­deavor to answer any questions emi-

thiii ii new department has been cerning Bullsheviki. added to the Echo. Since the tenets W t ' s , , , 'k the correspondence of the of the Bullsheviki have now spread students, faculty and outside friends. throughout the wilds of modern civi- We shall expeel everyone to sign

lization and since its beliefs are daily l l l , ' i l ' articles as an evidence of good

being expounded, and nearly all of n , i l 1 1- However, no names will be

the students of L. of c . are Bullshe- printed. vikily inclined, the Bull art ists of thi Address: "The Echo, Bullsheviki

Don't Be a?—Be a! The question mark, to the civ ilized

mind, always is a symbol of lack of

know ledge or of indecision and

doubt. We all know what a bore and

public nuisance the eternal ques­

tioner i-. Don't poitray outwardly

vour inward state of mind, if vou

| * I 1 \ I I 1 I I M I N K O , I I I V I ' II I I I t l . . . . . . .

h. England the tax on an income •Wllege, 'Mneonferen<*aBser i ibl<d, Department, [Iniversity of Cha.ta • . . . . . i i iwura

of $2,000 is \ i-S per cent ; in Ainer

ic;i nothing for a married man or

head of a family, and 2 per cent on

$1,000 for unmarried men.

The English income tax rate also

increases more rapidly with the

growth of the income than ours, a

were unfortunate enough to be bornI $ 3 > 0 0 0 ill(.()111(, l i ( .m„ 1 ; | M , ( |

with tllilt kind. \ on miglll be able ftc nnn i,' . IAAAA ... . . i i nt. ifo.llllll |o pec cent, 10,1)1)11 20

to "gel awiiv with it il it were not , ii. , ,i , per cent, and $lo,l)t)il 25 per cent

so obvious. We are not saving thiii ' * •

a well-chosen question now and then

i- nol ;i g I thing. We are merely

condemning the habitual variety.

decided tliilt they should have a voice nn°g&.

in the official mouthpiece of the

"scollage." So. Madamoiselles. mes-

diiines ( ? ) , el messieurs, voila, voiei,

s tudents and faculty may drop

their letters in the Echo box.

Question: Why doc- Prof.

venimus, visi sumus (vep, we mean " , " r «*ar so many new tailor-

tha t ) , ei maybe rincemus. But, l , , i , , l , , *""*• — •'• ( ' ' N-I ' a c i a m u s ! ? a n d let t he iionsen-i A M W O T : ( i r c e n b r i a r . - J . C. \ .

Ques t ion : W hy a re there so many low. vv. » f

We shal l do buBiness in all kinds t 'haiFs in t h e l i b r a r y ? C u r i o u s .

of Bullsheviki news. Our Bpe- Anaweh We sometimes have visi-cialty will be all brands of pure and w ' unadulterated CAS. Wc also have Question: Why are Congressional

w h ""' corresponding taxes for ;| g , | v ; l l | | ( ( i m ( o f | | | ( , s ( l l ( r w l n ( . h Records issued? X. V. Z.

married men a r e respectively two- makes us so slick. As is customan A n 8 w e r : For W. J . Fletcher.

thirds bf I pe rcen t , l 1-8 pe rcen t , we shall furnish " F R E E Alb ' / I ' h a v e e i * h 1 • , ' i r k a n d t h e r e a r<

ott I x seven n i g h t s iii the week. \\ hat " » " " ' " " " » . - " " " ' ' ' n . . onlv seven nigllt< 111 the week. \\ h;i

On the other hand, what does an 3 i -2 per cent arid" 5 per cent, and mostly hot. Our policy is, the • £ *„ n

„.., 1..,,..,,;,„, noint luiii" to mind? 1 •< . ,. ,• ,. u, .... "maximost" supply of the aforesaid « ~ exclamation p 1 LUIU^ I onlv slightlv more tor the un- . M • Answer: ^ <>u are a liar. I hen lYoole with personality, initiativi . . ., „ , supplies, since we do not believe m I ' " P " " " " I . i "">. . . . . .. . n m i . i | i . . . o r e un m:i 11 \ s.i 1 l e t s m O w n .

married, due to the smaller amounl •nid the "ironna do it if I die being at the hindermost. m.a - .. . . ' , " " , m •- . . . I i v i i m I ii... r.1 | l. 1,,'im.- the s a m e 1 1 1 e -. S ion t I urn oil the l igh t s be ni . i i L o o k ' e m over , t h i n k i t over e x e m p t e d , tn< rati nemg im s a m e . | | m v |)(l g o m e w h a l indef in i te we - • n i l - i.«»'»i\ t 111 IMI 1. HIM viiimo- m a n c o n i e s H see m e

The Liberty Loan Honcr Flag.

A new and distinctive feature

will he introduced in the Third Lib-

lall go into the horrible details al -nine future l ime, and now. gentle

leader, whether ymi be from the

wilds beyond t h e Ridge , from High-e r t v Loan c a m p a i g n , a n d every c i ty | | i m | R a r k g , d j fte,dg> C a m .

'"• \°™ m ^ country which sub- , „ , „ | | m , v i n , . . , | i | ( | ( , , , , s o r ,,.

- c u b e s more t h a n its q u o t a ol Lib- o u t i n t h e wide, wide world, or from ertv bonds will be awarded by the | | | ( i . . s k u , h l r - va]hy> ,„, lt s l l l , I reasurv D e p a r t m e n t iin H o n o r ,. ,, , ,

1 nee that each one: Hag . ..,, , , , , 1

• . . . . . BOOSt, boost, boost, I Iie Hag will he 30 inches wide - r i • ,,

, , f t , . „,. , . . I d vve re on the topmost roost; ami ol inches hum. he MM v ol .,,, ,, ., ,. ,, , 1 1 .

• • Ihen give the other fellows the boot, the flag will be white with a broad ^ n shall we root, root, root,

era! in the enforcement of the law ret nler. and three broad blue ver- T | | n m . fc • . W(, pf l ige fl

a n (1 Said order- to impose punish- tical stripes, denoting the I bird ^ j . raen1 for willful and inexcusable Loan. The flags, which will be of Veiling for the Bul lsheviki" violation, thereof upon the person the same quality as the flags of the A n d n o w > „, k i n d f r i e n d g . we

,,!• noranna rpanonsible ibd'efor. navv, Are alreadv being manufaetur- • 1 , m persons n-pons l u c , « " " • ... . ' . , s,,('k vour admiration, inspiration.

h is nlon •innouiiceil thiit when ed and will he awarded a- last as ' . . , . " i" •" " atiiioiiimn . . . , , „,, correspondence ami purse, each val-

tli.. oi'..moi miblic transiiortiition lite riiiht to llv tbein 1-won. I IKHIKb 1 • . . . 'ii' piompi piiotii 11.in. 1 w _ ,|(1|l | ( | ,-,,.„,,-tnm to us nearness to services requires it, employees will be awarded by the I reasurv Depart- the end of the sentence 1(.() l l l l,.(1 t n v o r k fl reasonable menl:, they wil l be d i s t r i bu t ed by s l | ) i s < | | u > : > l | i | | ; n o f

ftmmm, o f 0 Vertime, but excessive the Liberty loan committees oi the A | i n L A D 1918, and of the eitab-honrK of employmenl will nol be re- different d.s n e t s | j g h m e n j o f ( | h ^ . ^ ^ ^ ^ quired. There will also be a National [Tnprotected Order of the 'Bul lshe-

Pending a disposition of the ques- Honor Flag for each State, t o b e | v i k i m p o g B i b l e t u enumerate, we Hon of wages and hours, all requests flown at the Sta te capitol, with the | l h l ( r o m . h a m | ; | | 1 ( | <(.;l | ;1M(1 1; lk(, nf employees involving revisions ot name of each .own winning a flag ( l l i r s ( . |V ( . s mil responsibility for «' lules or general changes affect inscribed upon it. There will be a l l mat ter contained herein. im. wages and hour- will be held in •»•«) preserved in the I nited States . ., . . .

-c. . : •• TrPMiirv <• \ : . t i ,„ ,„l ll,.,,,.,- I.'|...r L , > ' * U " " * * * ' ' * U l i U

and -ee if ibis isn't t rue phi losophy.

DONT BE A? BE A! •v -.:•

Government Control of Railroads.

I li rector General McAdoo has an-

IKHIIK ed that while the railroad- are

under the control of the government

it i- futile to impose fines upon them

for violatio.is of the law and of the

orders of the interstate commerce

commission, and ii therefore be­

come* the ilutv of the director gen

also preserved in the United States Treasury a National Honor l*'la<:.

— — - 1 - • . • p

when determined will be made retro-! with the record of each State record-

active to January I. 1918. ,M| on it. The director general states that

if he is notified of the location of

specific supplies for transport to

Europe and the port or ports in the United States to which such sup plies should be sent he will gunran An Honor Roll, containing th. „, . th e , . , s i r v transportation sub- names of all subscribers, but not the

amount of the individual subscrip­tions, will be Kept in each commu­nity. A window card, bearing a representation of the Honor Flag,

I. B. F U L L E R - B U L L

I. c . N U T S K I ,

(Russian Representative.)

Stars, to be placed on the flag of Publicity Committee of the A. M.

each city or town doubling its quota, ».v L. (>. of the Bullshevik.

will be also awarded, and an addi- • »

tioiial star for each time the quota Question Box. i- doubled. Since Bul lshevik 1 is jpreadin

fore ii young man conies to see me?

—Spools.

If ymi wish to save him the trou­

ble after he come- thai would be the

proper thing to do.

N • :• > :•

Since nicknames are a sign, p >pu-

larity and general devotion, as our

friend the Coca-Cola Co. says, and

since it is the custom in many of the

colleges of the land to he-tow espe­

cial and characteristic cognomens

upon the most popular members of

the Faculty; thereby, we. the editor*

of the Bullsheviki department of

the Echo, submit the follow ing:

o i l ; FACULTY,

Dr. Hixson—"Proxy." Dr. Conant "I Mitchy." Dr. Hooper—"Deanski." Prof. Hooper 'Sphynx." I»r. W i l s o n — " F l u n k e m . " Prof. Har t—"Mam'zel le . ' " Dr. Bil l ings- "Iehabod." Prof. Abshire ••Abbey." \h-. Harris—".lust Dock." Prof. Haring— "Paulowa."

Librarian Freeman—"Dill Pick­

les." Custodian HockingS — "Screw­

driver."

Bursar Kelly—"Mis- Jesse .lim-my .lames."

Coach Jarrat t Weinie Roaster.

Chief Janitor—Chamelion (be­cause it change- BO often ).

A.-sistani Jani tor—Sam.

jei 1 alone to interruption- from bliz

Ziirds iiml fl !-.

All officers and employes of the

railroads, Bays the director general now serve the government ami the " 'H be given each subscriber of the

public interest only, l ie a-ks them loan, to be displayed at the home in­

to j . t the spirit of this new era— l»l;l"' o | ' business.

1

like a prairie lire, iiml the Lniver-; Maul- .in-t Fannie and Annie.

(iovernment Loans to Farmers. ! loaned out to farmers by these banks

since they were established was near-

\ i arly twelve million dollars was Iy $60,000,000, the number of loans

loaned out to farmers of the United dosed being 24,000. The amount

Steates by the federal bind banks applied for at that date was $?60,-

tluring the month of January last. 000,000, representing over 100,000

On February 1 the total amount applicants.

THE UNIVERSITY ECHO 5

T E N N I S ! T E N N I S ! T E N N I S ! Indoor Baseball

On Monday. March 18, indoor baseball was introduced to the girls of the I'liiversity. There were not quite enough present for two full teams, but they did very nicely with Ihe valuable assistance of "Tib." "Bill" and "Max," who joined the class temporarily. Some Hashes of really good headwork were shown even on the lirst day, iind there seems to be a fair amount of promis­ing material. The chief obstacle to ii championship team is tlmt there is no one over whom to prove ones supremacy. Maryville doesn't play baseball, neither does anyone else that we know of. However, there is nothing to prevent our playing for the real sport of the game. Every­one come out iiml try it. Practice Monday iiml Thursday at I o'lock,

Springtime, and With It Tennis. Courts in Better Shape Now than in Years

Much Interest is Being Manifested by Lovers of Lawn Tennis in the Ladies Singles and Mixed Doubles

Tournaments Which Begin Monday, April 15th—Winners Hard to Pick —Cold

Snap Interferes with Practice. At last, spring has come—come

to stay for good vve hope; ami with Dr. Wilson has a terrific "smash." Dr. Connant is very accurate in plac

it hits COme a new life lo the whole ing, besides having a beautiful serve, college, especially the tennis courts. Although vve have our sorrows on

Instead of the dreary Held covered the court, vve have our jovs too— with dead weeds iiml giass. which the highest, perhaps, being Helms. we used to pass every inorti i i ig on Without a doubt he is a fine I'el-

our way to chapel, we now see three low: yes. very line, but when he be-neatly-arranged tennis court.-, with gins to talk, its ••goodnight" for the

A Man's Honor.

When ii man dies, he live-. I never pass by a Spalding sport­

ing goods store but what I think of

a story. Here ii is. Back in tin early nineties a light was on between the National Baseball League am! an organization known as the Broth­el hood. 11 Wiis during a time when the life of organized baseball was ge riously threatened because of crook edness among players.

Spalding sent for Mike Kelly, who had jumped the Chicago club, and met him one night in flic old Astor House. Mr. Spalding counted mil. fifteen one-thousand-dollar bills iiml laid them on the table.

"Kelly." he Siiid. "you can have ibis money if you will sign with the Chicago Club and begin playing with An.-oii at mice."

After the weather has become so warm tluit interest in basketball -hall wax iind wain, our attention -hall lie directed to track ami tennis. We shall probably have thi- year an individual track meet to decide the best track men ill College. Next year vve hope to hold meets with other teams, and shall probably semi a team to the S. I. A. A. meet.

Much interest was shown this year in Field Hockey. Next year we in­tend having an inter-class Hockey schedule for the girls. Hockey will be played in the spring.

It is very likely thiit Chirk will be captain of next year's basketball team, iiml Kvans will be manager. although there arc several other men equally suited for each place.

Boost the Physical Education De­partment.—Gym iiml b'.d.

HEY! VOL! The tennis courts are in better condition than they have been in years. See Mr. Jarratt and get him lo order a racquet for vou.

new nets iiml perfectly straight lines, all of which speak well for a good

tournament this year. The students seem to be taking

;i big interest in tennis this year, for the COUrta are crowded from 2

o'clock until after 6. The tennis played is fierce iiml hard, there be­ing some very good players in our midst. Mr. Jarratt, our physical director, is certainly JI "peach," hav­ing held the championship of West-Nashville for two years; but he finds ;i worthy opponent in Max Kvan-. whose playing is swift iiml accurate and smashes sure points.

We have also been favored with the presence of four member- of the

faculty on the court-;, these being Miss Harring, Dr. Connant ami Dr. Wilson, ami Prof. Abshire. Perhaps the number of the faculty who play tennis i- rather small, but those who do play are certainly "Masters" id' the game. To see Dr. Wilson and Dr. Connant play, is a treat for tin lovers of good tennis, for although

rest of us especially Mi-- Stoops With his incessant "noise" and jokes, he keep- the lotirt in constant laugh­ter; tluit is, those who can keep their

temper. This latter statement may not be understood by ai l , but i f you

ever «•(• Helms mik ing to V

Stoops, it will immediately become dear.

At the present lime tennis is hold­ing forth. Beginning April 15 we shall have a tournament among the fair sex for championship honors. This tourney iind the one in mixed doubles should have been played off last fall, hul were interrupted bv the inclement weather. The Men's singles was won bv Joe 0. Ilaskew. The Ladies' similes vva- a lie be­tween Misses Ilixson and Swainev. As neither of these ladies aie now in school, ii new tourney will he

started. After the Ladies' -ingles has been won. the mixed doubles will be played. Sign up now with Miss Haring or Mr. Jarratt for these tourneys.

Kelly, who didn't have carfare in hi- pocket, looked at the healthy pa­per sheets wistfully for a few mo­ments, iiml then replied :

"Cant' do it. Al ! Voll see. I gf my word of honor that I'd slick by the Brotherhood, and I can't desert the boys!"

•

"All right. Mike!" said Mr. Spalding, as he began picking up the money.

"I'll tell you what I will do. Al!" exclaimed Mike, with a grin. "I'll borrow ;i thousand, if you don't mind. I haven't got a cent!"

Mr. Spalding quickly handed over one of the hills ami remarked:

"Your word is worth ii thousand. Kel! This i> a present with my best wishes !"

I never saw Spalding or Mike Kelly. Spalding is dead. I know nothing of Kelly. But I shall never forget either. They are both worth remembering—-both.- Geo. Matthew

Ada;;!-.

'UK UMVKUSITV KCHO

AS "ITHERS" SAW HER.

They were mil on the tennis court, rest ing between "sets." l ie was a young minister, jolly, rather fat, fair-haired and blue-eyed. She was jolly, too. and they esteemed each oilier as good I oinpnnions. Ju s t now they were talking of his work.

"You're coming to bear me preach next Sunday, aren't you?"

She nodded.

"What will lie your subject ?"

"S in ," he answered, with a boyish

- i in . "Of course." she answered, with a

shrug, ".lust what phase of the sub­ject shall ymi treat ?"

"The sin of loving a married l l l i l l l . "

The stroke went home. Her eves became a deeper gray, iind a slight cloud rested mi her lace. 11 was an audacious thing to say, unwarrant­ed even by their hmg friendship. I n her stunned brain, a vague thought. formed itself. She had not believ­ed that anyone knew. She really tlid not know, herself.

"Ready for the next set ?" he ask­ed, breaking in mi her train of phan­toms.

A sort of growing anger in her heart lent strength to her arm, she played furiously, blindly. After a while, she heard Harvev Wil-mi say, "your game. Helen. I never saw vou play like thill before."

As the two walked home, both were as gay a- usual. Still the girl cduhi not forget the remark.

While visiting her college room­mate during the last Bpring vaca­tion. Helen had met Calhoun Ed­wards. 11 vva- toward the last of the vacation, iiml the two had had one happy afternoon together. Helen remembered him iis tall and hand­some, ami ;i fascinating talker.

Above all thingl, he had the way of milking a girl feel tluit. when he was with her. -he vva- the only important thing in t'le wml dto him. Helen remembered even now how he bad picked up the glove she had dropped and held it a moment, before he re­turned it. That afternoon Ihev had -one driving, how careful he had been to have the automobile robes warm enough. With what rapt at-

icniioii he had listened to every

word she said! One might have thought she wiis an oracle speaking. It was no wonder thai Helen bad liked him.

After the i d urn |,, , allege. Ethel,

Helen'- room-mate, had heard from Mr. Edwards occasionally, iiml in every letter he had made some com­plimentary remark about Helen. Helen, in turn, spoke admiringly of Mr. Edwards to her friend. The whole had been regarded as a merely casual matter at the time.

In June Helen bin! learned of his marriage with interest, iiml had re­marked jo Ethel, then visiting her. that she really ea\ ied the girl. Now the young ministers' rash speech gave ;i new turn to her thoughts. Really .she told herself, no man had

ever appealed to her. (piite ;i- Cal­houn Edwards had.

That evening old Mr-. Anderson dropped in to call. While waiting for Mrs. Johnson to come down, she Siiid to Helen.

"Well, my dear, I Buppose yon

are anxious to be ging back to col­lege next month? Perhaps you met someone down there you'd like to see?" The old lady laughed dis­

agreeably, and ildded. "Well, young

people must have their kind of good time." She shook her head and sighed.

Mrs. Johnson came in opportune­ly, and Helen excused herself, with a

strange beating of ihe heart, dust then the telephone rang. It was Mary. Helens' chum.

"Say, Helen, heard about the grand fortune teller that's here ibis

week? She's a wonderful palmist.

Can tell you everything tluit ever

happened or ever will happen. I know some people thai she has told

all about their past. We're getting up a party to go there tomorrow, and want vmi along. Come on and go. Mother will chaperone."

"At another time. Helen would have jumped at the chance, but now she felt ;i strange reluctance.

"Oh. ah, Mary. I don't think I can tomorrow; I have an—a—a —," Helen slopped, not being able to think of a single engagement.

"What's the matter, you goose? Surely theres' nothing in your past vou want to hide!" laughed Mary.

"No. or no." hastily. "I'll go, tiood-bve."

An awful fear (bitched at the girls' heart Why had Mary asked such ii strange question? Did she know anything Usually Mary was -o full of confidence in her chum. Helen went up lo her room, sat

down at her desk, and took out

Ethel's last letter. As she reread it. she began to think it wiis not as cordial iis the others had been. At the end it -aid :

"You talk so much of your young minister. I advise ymi not to let vmir heart rule your head."

Why should Ethel, who had never had ;i serious thought in her life.

talk in tluit sarcastic way? Had -IK thought that Helen, in the case of

Calhoun Edwards, had—? Helen -topped reading, tore the letter into tiny pieces, and began preparations for retiring. For a while, .-he tossed restlessly, and when -be finally fell asleep, dreamed of Harveys' pointing her out a- the greatest -inner in his congregation.

The next morning Helen's mother

remarked at breakfast: "I am going with vou on your lit­

tle expedition."

"Mrs, Campbell has asked me to help chaperone."

Helen looked aiilioVod. She did

not like thill serenely complacent

smile of her mother's. It wa- as if

she were smiling with satisfaction at having discovered some secret. Any­how, why should her mother, who could have none of a young person's romantic interest in the future, want to go to the fortune-teller's? Did she want to learn something about her daughter?

()n the wiiy to Madame Jose's, Helen vva- imt her usual gay, laugh ing -elf. Harvey Wilson, trudging along iit her side, noticed it.

"What's the matter, Helen?" ab­ruptly.

"Why, nothing," with a guilty start. "Why?" '

"You're unusually quiet."

Helen wished the boy ii thousand

miles away with his disagreeable remarks.

When Helen's turn came al Madame dose's, she put out her hand reluctantly. ^\' course every­one would be listening. After some

commonplace observations aboul her palm, such as the girl, herself, mighl have made, Ihe woman said:

"Live months ago. a wonderful thine came into your life." (Silence fell al the first words, iind the palm­

ist continued solemnly.) It is a

tall, dark-haired man who shall be

be the ruler of your heart, lie is

not with ymi. but his thoughts are

always with ymi. Your thoughts are with him now. Don't let your mind be disturbed. Keep your se­cret illld all will be well."

The silence was profound. Helen's

hand began to tremble violently.

Her cheeks burned. Claming, up.

she caught Harvey's eves fixed upon

her. By now fhe (pliet of the room

Wiis oppressive. The girl snatched

away her hand, and rose hastily. She

was conscious that everyone was

laughing and that meddlesome Hat-tie Jones was staring at her with her great black vyv<. All the wav home. Harvey Wilson cited instance after instance, when fortune-fellers had told the exact truth, lie ended by asking her if she knew of anything :i fortune-teller had told that came true.

"Mary mentioned some instances last night," wiis the answer. "You mighl ask her to tell you."

"At least be honest with me. Helen.' '

"Lei me assure ymi tlmt I am !"

Silence prevailed for the rest of the walk.

As Ihe party lieaied her home. Helen extended the usual invitation to come in. bul. strange to say, no one accepted it. ESach one had some

i xciisc it wns near lunch time, or

there was something tluit simply had

to be done. Harvey was especially (old. At another time. Helen would not have given his refusal a second thought, but today it hurt. To think that yesterday, there had not been JI cloud iii her sky! Anyhow.

thc-e people's sneers iiml accusations

could not make her acknowledge thai -he Wiis in love with a married man, whom .-he had seen only once or twice.

"What wiis the matter with ILir­vev, thai be wouldn't come in?" asked Mrs. Johnson at lunch.

"Search me.' 'answered Helen. too much vexed to be elegant.

Mrs. Johnson looked surprised, and then thoughtful.

"Vmi must take a nap this after­noon, dear. Vmi are tired ami nerv­ous. It seems n, me (hat ymi have no' been looking iit all well, lately. If ymi do not get better -ooii. it will be impossible for vou to spend that Week with Ethel VOU have been counting on so long."

"Why in the world must mother be t rumping Up some excuse for mv

nol visiting Ethel?" thoughl Helen.

"What if Calhoun Edwards does live

in the -ame town?" -he added in

fervent self-defense. The little engagement calendar

proclaimed to Helen that there was ii party that evening. When thev

weie going to the same party, Mary usually spent the night with Ib'lell, but bad refused this lime mi the plea thiit her mother had no one with her, but her little sister. Helen thought il ii poor excii.-c. -ince Mary's little sister was twelve years old. and Ihe Campbells had near

neighbors. But then probably Mary would never want to spend the night with her again. When Susie Hen­derson had been going to marry a divorced man, Boynton society had "cut" her in the same way.

At ;i quarter to eight Harvey ar­rived. All the way lo the party, he was grim, but I'orniallv polite lo Helen. When they entered the par­lor iit Thompsons' all eye- were turned in their direi lion, nnd an al­most imperceptible whisper went round the room. ILirvev looked em­barrassed, illld Helen Hushed.

"Hilled to come wiih me, I -lip-pose." thought Helen, "but fell he must, since he had ahead;, inadt the engagement." Then came ihe com­forting thought thiii Ibii vcv vva- id-ways very honorable, no matter « hal other people might be.

The two joined a group, of which

Mary was one.

"Helen, are you realh going to see Ethel next month?" was tin lirst question. "But of course you are. You wouldn't miss it for anything." Mary smiled brilliantly, significant­ly, iit the group. A shadow flitted ticross Harvey's face, ami he looked keenly iit Helen, whose eve- were

downcast. When at hist. Ihev turned away

from the group. Mrs. Thompson look possession of the girl.

"What ii good color vmi have to­night, my dear," was her ftrsl re­mark. "Your mother vva- telling me tin- afternoon that vmi seemed worried and nervous. I hope noth­ing i< seriously wrong."

"()h no indeed, dear Mr-. Thomp­son,' 'answered Helen glibly. "P ease don't worry about me."

Conveniently enough. Bomi other guests arrived to attract Mrs. Thompson's attention, and Helen was left' alone with Harvev. Pres­ently she complained of a headache, iiml urged Harvey to allow her to slip away unnoticed to a Bide ve­randa.

At supper time. Harvev was again .it hand, anxiously inquiring if he would do as well as some dark-haired fellow. The girl shut her lip- tight­ly, took the boy's arm. and faced the rest of the evening with Spartan courage. To the hist miserable good­night, it seemed to Helen thiit ev­eryone regarded her with suspicion. A- -he iiml Harvey passed out, all the "old maids" smiled iind nodded among themselves. A bit of ;, sen­tence followed he r :

'*— when she was nwa\ at col­lege."

The lady addressed shrugged ami smiled a green persimmon -mile.

The next morning Helen slept bate. When she invoke, she found a square envelope lying on the table beside her bed. She sat up. a mis-

erable little heap, as recollections of yesterday came back to her. With a weary hand she fore open the envel­ope, and read :

Dearest Helen: A few .lav- ago

(Continued on Page Eight)

TIIW LMVKWSITV KCHO

THE DARKEY SUNDAY SCHOOL.

l. till , the Lord m a d e Sa tan u n ' S a t a n m a d e

-in, T h e Lord IIIIKIC II cubby-hole m i ' put Katun

in. I IK' Sulitn III' got Imt lill' III' Said In'

wouldn ' t s t a y . Bul the Lord said lie g u e s s e d lie would,

in' cou ldn ' t net a w a y . Mow S a t a n in t h e cubby-ho le w a s feelln '

m igh ty iiitti'. l i e fai led iiis Imps t o g e t h e r a n ' he sold,

- W h a l shal l I d o f T h e n op spoke ole Be-el-se-bub, for be w a s

migh ty c u t e : " T a k e a l iceuee oui in E d e n a n ' s o u p

a n ' pedd le f r u i t . " I ' l i o r t i s :

Young folks, " la folks, e v e r y b o d y co Jo in the d a r k e y S u n d a y school an ' m a k e

tiie ole p lace hum. Leave y o u r b u n k <>' e h e w l n ' g u m an ' raior

nt t h e do ' , An" you' l l b e a r t o m e gospel s t o r i e s w h a t

y.'ni n e v e r bea rd bero ' .

l l .

Adam waa t h e n i s i mini t h a t ever w a s Inven ted ,

l i e IIVINI a l o n e in Eden an ' be uea r ly got d e m e n t e d ,

Sn the Lord swiped a rib of Ms a n ' m a d e l l i t l l lli> It W i l l ' .

'I'll,MI you 'd o u g h t a beard h i m boiler for his b a c h e l o r life.

Mis Bve, s h e waa a b a n ' a o m e gal , ;i bunco of love l iness ,

An" she looked moa ' awful s t u u n l n 1 in he r l i t t le flg-leaf dreas ,

m a when Sniiiii wi th b i s push ear l chanced a long her w a y m roam

H,. banded her I lemon a n ' she loal her (nippy home,

i l l . Niuili WHS ,i t a i l o r an ' I lie lirsl to suit

111 • - sea , i i , . crosaed the m i g h t y ocean w i t h a whole

m e n a g e r i e , He -' 'iit -nit ;i dove for wireleaa, t w a a t h e

heal be bmi a t hand , An ' t he d o v e b r o u g h t back a pickle from

the p romised land. He m a d e a m e a t Inven t ion , ' t w a s tlm

g rea t e s t ever made , It p u t s .Mat-si- T o m m y Edi son a w a y hack

in t in ' s h a d e . Por he 'd m u s t e r e d e l ec t r i c i t y a n ' nil such

tiling's us t h a t , When he m a d e t h e Aral a r k light up »n

Mount A r a r a t IV.

J o s e p h w a a a p r e t t y boy, Ms d a d d ) d re s sed Mm c u t e ,

But he go! Mis b r o t h e r s J e a l o u s with a ftasby n e w s p r i n g sui t .

.So they sold blm t " s e g y p s i e s who did c h a n c e tha i way to ride

For i " it'll t he imiii 's ' f o r t u n e s and s w a p hor ses on t he s ide.

W i l l , they tn"!; Mm down m Egypt w h e r e be did Ms lu 's ' tn p lease ,

An ' by r e a d i n ' d r e a m s an ' v i s ions he waa noon tiie whole cheese ,

An ' when t h e r e c a m e a f a m i n e with a lack of t h i n g s m eat ,

i n m a d e a m i g h t y fo r tune by a co rne r in ' "i w h e a t .

v . Eaau waa a h u n t e r of the wild a n ' woolly

sort , His i laddj Ikey ' s favor i te b e c a u s e be w a s

a spo r t , n m m a m m y though t thai J a k e y was t h e

fain ' ly a only p r ide An' should gel i b " farm wb.eu Ike) wen!

ac ro s s t h " g rea l d ivide . l',i"i- l k " w a s in a p u n l e w h e n be c a m e

bis wilt to m a k e . s<> i"ft half t he farm to Eaau an ' t h "

o t h e r half to . lake, lint Eaau feared Ms t i t le t o Iht fa rm it

w a s n ' t c lear , So he s,,iii his ha l f to J a k e y for t o m e

t se l s nn ' sn iu" beer.

VI.

When M o t e t waa n baby he w a s left up in iii,- Nile

An' he 'd sure ly h a v e ' a swa l l e red by - im" h u n g r y crocodile ,

Hut i ' h a r a o b ' s d a u g h t e r found him t h e r e B i inwl ln ' in Ms t n -

\v ii *hr went d o w n t" t h e r iver for m uiki hi'i- yea r l y sc rub .

w . Moses ii" g rew up of all his r ace \ : i s t h e Brat.

ll,• xmote a Iwulder wi th Ms rod an q u e n c h e d Hi" people 's i Mi - i .

t i l l , i w i sh t h a i i was M o t e t , for I m In' m i g h t y dry ,

I 'd t n k " a n>"k a n ' Mt it t i l l it n m wi ih 'k «u ' rye .

VII

Hmuson w a s a Bgb te r nf t h e J o h n I* Sni l ivan -<l I.

l i e kil ted a t h o u a a n d i p i " w i t h tne l a w l»one of a m a l e .

l l " s c r a p p e d wi th all b i s ne ighbors , cou ldn ' t lit'iii' '"in in M s t i g h t ,

Til l h" me t III' Miss Del i lah a n s h " suit ed him Jus ' r i gh t .

M I — i i . i i i . ih « i i s n m a n i c u r e , her b r o t h e r w a s a Wop.

s i i . ' did n r i i sh ln ' bus lne ta in M- down t iwn liiirlier s imp.

Samson w e n t t h e r e for a h a i r cu t . imt tic m a d " an nwftil Jab .

' T w a a a chi l ly d a y for S a m s o n when h " p a t r o n i s e d a s c a b .

VMI. David w a s a mus i c man. cou ld m a k e a

•aiijn r ing , An ' a i al l t h " e v e n l n ' p a r t l e a t h e y Invi ted

Mm i " -tin.'. An' when Saul c a m e home a - ravin ' a f t e r

bein ' <m a Jim l e u . David a l w a y s c a l m e d him by

a iila> in' Yiddish rag. N,,w w h e n h" w a s bul s h e p h e r d lad, a

in . in . Iy l i t I I " cuss . l i , . mel t l i " big Qol la th jus t u-spol l ln ' for

a fuss . Vn when he s a w tha i h" would e i t h e r

h a v e t " BgW or Imsi, He picked up a cobb l e s tone a n ' s m a s h e d

.Dili 's c r u s t .

fX. Solomon w a s a wise n u n , in S c r i p t u r e we

a r e to ld . i i , bad a t h o n s a n d lovely w i v e s , sn r u n s

•lie t t o r y " id . II,, enjoyed h i s ha in rammer hut cold

Ijrhts were nol sn t ine

An Easier Camping Trip on Old Lookout

Hinkle Switch Scene of Another Camping Party— Boys Look Envious as Girls March

Off Unaccompanied.

The lime: Thursday, March 88th, 1 : 3 0 o ' c l o c k .

The place: Restroom, University of Chattanooga.

The girls: Margarel llunl, Joy Bayless, Gladys Burton, Estello Sorgenfrey, I lallie Rogers, Vivian Brown, Mary Campbell, Helen Bod­dy, Viola Burdick, Nelle Burdick, Miss Gladys Freeman iiml .Miss Har­

ing. At the above-mentioned hour, tlm

above-mentioned girls left the above-i n e i i t i o i i e i l p l a c e f<»r l l i n k l e S w i t c h

( \ . I'». K c h o o f M a r c h 8 4 t h ) o n t h e

p a i f i u e i i t h i k e d s i x t e e n m i l e s fo r ( e n

loaves of bread, the darlings had al-ready consumed ;i dozen loaves m live meals. The hiking was the leas! pari of ihe adventure, they R a i d , i i n d t h e r e Wiis t h e n i c e s l i m i l i

:lt t h e s t o r e . Y e s , i n d e e d . M e a n ­

w h i l e t h e o t h e r s p i c n i c k e d a t L u l a

Lake. Saturday Nighl: how can my

feeble pen write of it when there is so much io tell, surely a greal deal must he left unsaid. Our lirs! callers were two lieutenants who received ii verv deluging welcome. At aboul 8:00 o'clock the villagers began to arrive, you no doubl have heard al1

aboul that party already iind of Charlie and Helen. We pause to wonder why it is thai some people are always falling into these romatic s i t u a t i o n s , w h i l e o t h e r s n e v e r d o .

V i o l a w a s s o e x c i t e d hv t h e c o i n | i a i i v

thai she slept not more than thirty minutes all night.

Sunday morning was spenl mostly i n t r y i n g t o k e e p w a r m in v a r i o u s

and sundry ways. That nighl every­one quited down fairly early,, after

L u l a F a l l s

t o p o f L o o k o u t M o u n t a i n . T h e l i n e

o f m a r c h w a s f r o m 1 ' . ( ' . d o w n M e

C a l l i e a v e n u e t o E i g h t h s t r e e l t o

M a r k e t , w h e r e t h e t r o u p e b o a r d e d ;i

S t . E l m o c a r . F r o m t h e e n d o f t h e

c ; i r l i n e t h e y a l l i n s i s t e d o n g e t t i n g

;i n i c k e l ' s w o r t h , t h e y h i k e d t o F l i n t -

-totie iind up the mountain to Hin­kle. Weary and worn. Imi remind­ing themselves of the ad I'm- Blue Jay Plasters, they reached their des­tination.

Fires were started, the T. I), ward made up and dinner cooked by Pop-pee, the Coquette, and ihe fryers. Everyone agreed thai ihe next thing t o d o w a - t o t r y t h e n e w c o t s , h u t

there was considerable difference of o p i n i o n a s t o w h a t s h o u l d l ie d o n e

a f t e r t h i l l . T h o s e w h o d e s i r e d t o

s l e e p w e r e d e c i d e d l y i n t h e m i n o r i t y .

N e l l e w a s t h e m o s l o r i g i n a l , a n d

c l i m b e d t h e p e a c h t r e e in h e r n e w

t e n n i s s h o e s ,

Fridav morning Virginia, Lorine iind Miirv Sussdoi f arrived on the l l i n k l e e x p r e s s f r o m t o w n . T h a i

was almost enough excitement for one morning. That afternoon Joy and Miss Haring went swimming— yes. it was cold, thank you. hut ev­eryone enjoyed it. especially those <>n the bank. (The Editor is sorry that the narrative of the remainder <»f this incident had t<> he censored)

On Saturday the commissary de-

x. Klijnli WHS Q prophet in t he llllld of I s rae l , An' he won his r e p u t a t i o n , sn the Holy

S c r l p t u r e i tel l . By II s l iowln ' in tin- h e a t h e n t h a t t h e i r god

\v;is on Il l" lillln. An' t he w a y in which ii" <tiii it. w a i

,-i go in ' sniu". For iin- <Tiiwii WHS from Missouri t n '

they p l anned a c u n n l n ' m s t , "VVi \-"i- m a k e s some w a t e r b u r n , " they

s.ilil, " h i s god is l ies ! . " Bul El i jah li" j u s ' sn iggered , for be vvns

sn puvvTiii keen, An' he u iu i t h " t " s | ;i l lyin' by n iisln'

k e r o s e n e , X I .

liniiicl w n s JI t e m p ' r a n c e man , i i" never took n d r ink .

When Hie k ing sci up t he r l c k e y i l i" i" • p o n d e d , " I (liin't t h i n k . "

When i h e kiiiK tie i a w tha i Danie l wns nn e n e m y to boose

i t " Hunt" h im s e c r e t a r y of Hi" vv. C. T. II.'H. Bul a n o t h e r k ing licked Hint one , so t h "

(iiiml Book ii dec l a r ea An' ii" nut sure a t Daniel j u s ' b e c a u s e be

•aid iiis p r a y ' r i , Sn ii" c h u c k e d him in a ce l lar w i t h the

limis u n d e r n e a t h . Bul Daniel wns a d e n t i l ! a n ' he pul led

tiie l imis ' t e e th . X I I .

J o n a h wns ai i lgrnnt who went, the - "us tn sail .

i i " took n s t e e r a g e pas sage in a t r a n a a l l an t i c wha le ,

An' when J o n a h in- got tf•-*-«I o' r i d in ' nn t h " w h a l e ' i cheat ,

Why, lie up a n ' p r e a s e d tin, h u t t o n a n ' t he w h a l e ii" iliil t he reat .

Now b r e t b e r n nil a n ' s l s t e rn , c o m e a n ' l is ten here i " me,

Ti icfc ' s n mora l In t h i s s to ry ,-is m o t ' any one can see,

iin- reason tlmt Marse ,111111111 c a m e n p s a f e an ' d i d n ' t d r o w n

l ; I ,-ius" Ihe Itilil" te l l s us yuii ",'in't l*""|i a g I man d o w n .

Dr. 1.vim II . H a r r i s .

K e e p S w e e t .

I l iukl i ' Cab in , showii iK " T - I V W a r d

veiv much grumbling iind groaning on Mary ('ampbell's part.

Monday morning nine of the " M i n k s " a r o s e ;it I : 3 0 , a n d a l t h o u g h

they bad loudly acclaime ! an the p r e v i o u s e v e n i n g t h a t t h e v w e r e n o t

g o i n g 1 a k e a n o i s e i i m l w a k e u s

a l l u p . t h e y r e p e a t e d it w i t h v a r i a ­

t i o n s ill t h e t o p o f t h e i r l u n g S . T h e

s e v e n s e n s i b l e o n e s w h o r e m a i n e d

s u r e l y w e r e . g l a d w h e n t h e i r " q u i e t "

c o m r a d e s - t i n t e d o i l ' a t •"> : 3 0 . T h e

d e p a r t i n g o n e s a l l t r i e d t o m a k e t h e

s e n s i b l e o n e s b e l i e v e t h a i t h e y s i m ­

p l y c o u l d n o t c u t a n y m o r e c l e a t

h u t t h e l a t t e r w e r e c o n v i n c e d t l m !

t h e y m e r e l y d e s i r e d l o n e t o u t o f

c l e a n i n g u p t h e i n v a s i o n . A t n o o n

ni M o n d a y t h e l a s t v e s t i g e s o f t h e

• • a m p h a d s o r r o w f u l l y s t a r t e d d o w n

t h e r a i l r o a d t r a c k f o r t o w n i i n d c i v ­

i l i z a t i o n .

When two t h o u s a n d "hilly too t s i e s w e r e n p lan ted on bis sp in" .

Weil. Solomon is d e a d an ' gone , his l ike un more w e see,

l ie iliil Ills licst (n help Hi" n i " " a n ' r a i se a f ami ly .

An' f rom his e x a m p l e , b r e t h e r n , ymi can :.'"t a m l " for l if".

Fur s u m " men a i n ' t got Hi" g u m p t i o n to suppor t ii s ing le Wife,

No wor ld l ing shall f e t t e r the will Of t he One , who has kepi t he world wonde r

ing, Adjus t ing, un i t i ng a i d s u n d e r i n g

T h e w o r k s of in.- bond and sneb sk i l l ; W h o s e glory fraugl t pe m s T h r o u g h o u t the r a s l aeoua

I'h" smil of Ih" un ive r se t h r i l l ; And the d e e d s of the Jusl shall go tl der

Ing Down tho w a k e s of e t e r n i t y s t i l l ,

M. sha l l n world , in for mor ta l to view,

f o r e v e r be dwe l l in f o r e c a s t l n g l y l .Must h e a v e n 111 a r t b e v e r l a s t i n g l y

o u r I n h e r i t a n c e , r igh t fu l and <l(•••. T h u s h a n g in t h " b a l a n c e ? No! c u r s e ilottiit ami d a U l a n c e !

in tiie s t r e n g t h of the i r w e a k n e s s b rough I through—

The fa i th fu l , who 've fought and raivii fasl Ingl r ,

1 h" i r d r e a m s shall t h r i ce br i l l i an t come t rue .

i l l .

No hand can t r o t h ' s pu rpose d e f e a t , Who-" p n , s p " i t > of Lrigbl I m m o r t a l i t y , Based nol upon mere t e m p o r a l i t y ,

Nor f raud , oor decep t ion can c h e a t ; l or t h e r e ' s a Power h igher T h a i no falsifier

Deceives, Let benevolence meet , Ami t h " g r a c e s of sp i r i t ua l i t y ,

Abide in your bosom. Keep s w e e t ,

l loin. \ Reed C o n a n t

S t a n d E r e c ' t

Tl u.i>, a young irlrl named K a t e Win. loi'i 'scii ,u -ill 1 loos to s t and s t r a i g h t

And now when the s ty l e Has 1 ""ii cbangi d for s whi le

8'ie c e r t a i n l y is out of d a t e .

T r j th i s over on j*our piano. I love n las- i , , A IMIIIV. I ni iy lassie Sh,, s , 1 , t h i n us tlio napi'i mi I h " wnll . Her knees a re bowed as H e c t o r And she w e a r s a sn iue e r ec to r . I'm- -.ii,. n e v e r stood np s t r a i g h t w h e n she

wns sma l l .

'i 'lion w a s a v.tun. ' man named T a c k e r W'lm a l w n v a did dote on to lmccer

vv lien told lo staiiil s t r a i g h t II, . copied an "i«lit

And now h e ' s been c lassed as a s lacket

W . V . J a r r a l t .

(Concluded from Page Oue)

t h e s t u d e n t b o d y w l i e l l , o i l r e l l l l l l i n e

to school this year, they found that Jarratl had heen chosen by the f;ie-l'ulty. for the athletic director of this year. He showed us hist vear thai he "had the stuff," ;i!id this year he certainly proved it by turning out a basketball team which lost only two games <>ut of nine. \n I a! t h o u g h t h e U n i v e r s i t y w i l l h a v e

m a n y m o r e a t h l e t i c d i r e c t o r s - - m e n .

p e r h a p s , o f g r e a l r e p u t a t i o n s , y e t

t h e y w i l l n e v e r h a v e ;i m a n w h o 1-

m o r e c o n s c i e n t i o u s o r a m o r e a r d e n t

w o r k e r t h a n J a r r a t t . H e h a s d o n e

h i s w o r k w e l l : h e h a s m a d e a IUC

o f a t h l e t i c s t i n - v e a r . a n d wc

b e l i e v e t l u i t w h e r e v e r h e g o e s , 01

w h a t e v e r h e d o e - , h e w i l l m a k e j u s t

a s b i g a s i n c e s s .

TI1K U N I V E R S I T Y K . r i i o

1 re of il far has

As "Ithers" Siw Her. (Concluded from Page Six)

reived ii call to be the minister church in C— . 1 cannot go so away without telling you what been in my heart for a long,

S I D E S P L I T T E R S

long time. For years 1 have wor­shipped you as something pure and sweet, iiml inexpressibly fine. With vou as my dear companion, my life would he whal God meanl it should; without ymi. it can mean nothing. This afternoon I will come for my answer, oh , Helen, I implore yon nol to let it he no.

Faithfully, adoringly, HARVEV WILSON.

The woebegone expression Bed,

giving place to ;i sort ol holy tender­

ness. Helen lay back on the pillow*

smiling. Ah. what a nightmare tho

lasl week had been.

CAXSADA.

"Xol verv long, dear fellow. They

chased us only t wo miles."

"Did vou have ii long run in

Podunkville ?" inquired a friend of

Suggs lliiinl'iii. the eminent trage­

dian.

"Shall I brush vou off?" asked the Pullman porter, solicitously and solicitingly.

"No. I'll get off the train the regular way."

".Mis< Caroline/ ' murmured tin* caller ecstatically, just before mid­night, "ymir singing just carried me away!"

"Ah." sighed the fair Caroline. "I should have sung earlier!"

Where the Professor Quit.

One day Prof. Hooper wenl shop­ping with his wife. Ile tagged along li-ilessly from counter to i oiinler until Ihev came to the dress

iiimmings department, and there he

found something in his line. Said

fraid, bul 1 shaky, shaky, bul "How wide is thai gold-spangled

Predestination. The Second Sta^e Letter.

Mr. Kenna was shaking hands To Whom il May Concern: Now with his congregation after the serv-hf v n u a r e interested read this, he-ice iiml was verv much impressed| c a u*8 e | - m &\] shaky, bul really I'm | l l i s wife to the saleswoman: with an infant in the arms of its young mother. I n admiral ion Kenna remarked:

"A line youngster that, madam. I hope ymi will bring him up to be an upright, conscientious man.

" T h a t . ' replied the young mother smiling, "will be a bil difficult."

not afraid, in really I'm nol afraid, but I'm shaky. sh iky, awfully shaky, how do you -pell it really I dont' know much of anything. Celia, poor Celia, elder sister, sister Celia. (irice roars a!

Bobby, thev laughed, yes they

laughed, I'm calm now. a h <• <l e f t,r

"Pshaw!" rejoined Kenna, ' 'as |, | j ^ ] m „ 0 p ( | ,. s | „ v w s y /,.

the twig is bent, so is the tree in- p^ylia Faraday—Katie Pearl. Celia

d i n e d / ' Faraday Helen Boddy. Evelyn "I know it,' 'agreed the ther, pf tradav Helen ingersoll. My Darl-

"hiit this twin- j s hent mi being a girl ing Wobbles. I hardly it to be true. and we are inclined to let i t have its Wobbles. The verv these are mv

wav. " I ' l l — C - .

"Did you ever hear of a lawyer

telling the I ru th?" "Oh, yes. A lawyer will do any­

thing to win ii case."

I he lawyer paused a moment while making up Spiffkins' will.

"How is this? Ymi want to will all your property to your wife, pro­vided she marries within a year !"

"Well." replied Spill'kin thought­

fully, "I Willi! someone to he sorrv that I d ied!"

In the Psychology Class.

"I f apes do nol think, how do you -oppose they cl'ili k the hard shells of the nuts ihev pick?"

"With a monkey wrench, of course."

"Willie! What do you mean by

using such awful language?"

"That ' s all right, maw! I'm ju-t

telling the parrot what not to gay !"

Admiral (J rice was tryipg al a second class pawn shop to gel Borne ";la--< s.

" O h ! " s;,jd the keeper, "you'll have to g0 to illl optoiui.-t."

" A I I announce in in the "Post"

sent hv "Times."—Phvllis.

Algernon had heen calling "for

three years and Matilda was growing

impatient, " h o vmi know." she murmured

sweetly, looking soulfully up into Algernons' eves, "ymi remind me BO much of iin hour glass."

"Really? How is t ha t ? "

"(>h." was the arch response, "the more time, the less Band !"

And now Matilda i- preparing two trousseaus.

Dr. Ilivson : Cardwell do you find

it difficult to deliver a sermon ?

Smi th : Well. I'll tell vmi how-

it wiis when I lir.-i began preaching.

I had t<» always go straight home

(after dinner) iind go t<> lied.

Or. Ilixson (d'o the class) : Ho

didiif say where the congregation

had to go. Or. Ilixson (Continuing on tho

same topic) ; Well whal made vou -n tired ? Did ymi move around or

jump up and down much ?

Smi th : No. I was quiet and in fact towards the last 1 wiis very

(pliet.

Dr. Il ixson: Well ymi deserved

your sleep and it vvas im more than

right for ymi to have your sloop.

black crape? "Three-eights of a yard." said ihe

girl.

"How much is if a yard ?"

"Three dollars."

"Well." siiid the professor's wife,

"how much of three-eights wide ma­

terial will it take t<> put four six-

inch strips around a two ami three-

quarter yard skirl thai }• seven inches narrower at the knee iliiiii it is iii the bottom, and how much will • i 1 *J * * f

It cost.-' Al the lir.-t IIII niioii of those fig­

ures the professors' head began to

reel, and it reeled still more when

his wife illld the girl look mil pen­

cils iiml paper iind began to do their

sums. Presently his wife said: "Here, dear, ymi know all aboul

mathematics. Help us BOIVI this problem, won't you?"

Bul the professor said : "Excuse

me. I feel faint. I niii-t get <\ little fresh air ." iind ignominiously fled.

Prof.: What i- the moaning of " id ler egO."

Fresh: It means the "other T."

Prof.: Give me a sentence con­

taining the phrase.

Fresh: lie never winked his

"alter ego."

"I wonder why blockings i- iil-ways SO (pliet ?"

"Well, you see, he graduated from

the school of experience, and that

institution has no college veil."

\f ter the performance iit the

fort, the players were given a Imt

lunch by the Y. M. C. A.

When the 1 iiii< h was finished Mar

tin announced, "The lasl course was

eggs, tin- next. I suppose, is 'v_

it."

The cast i- wondering if Smith really has joined the navy or if that i- hi- excuse to meet the Superba somewhere.

Six-year-old Harold had been ||M sjj(.nt a r m v "

Referee: Foul!

Fresh: I don't see any feathers. Referee: Th i - is a picked team,

little one.

Heiipecipie : "Johnson has joined

-cut to the grocer, Imt had returned

in a hurry without any purchases.

"Whats ' the ma t t e r ?" asked

mother.

"Well, when I ciinic in there was

Henderson ; -Dead ?"

Ilcnpectjiie: "Xo, married."

Hooverized Poetry.

I never sausage eves as thine.

The Italian did not likt the

look of the barking dog barring his

way.

" I t ' s iill right," said h'i- host ; "don't ymi know the proverb, ""nrk-in- do^'s dont ' bite?. "

"Ah. yes." said the Italian. "I

know ze proverbe, ymi know ze pro-

verbe: hut ze dog does he know ze

proverbe?" -T id -Bi t s .

Katie Pearl (admiring Tib's med­

al ). "Where did you hecom. -ucli

an expert swimmer? '

Clark: "Well, ymi -ee. i used to

lie ;i traffic c<»p in Venice."

The (ireatest Thirty in the World.

Dean Hooper (in Ethics). "I tell ymi there i- something in the world bigger than money."

M i - Ingersoll: "Ye-, hills!" »

a big man there and he looked iit And if ymi would butcher hand in me, just like lather doe- sometimes, mine.

and he said, "I'll 'tend to vmi in a And liver around ine every dav.

m i n u t e ! " We'd seek some ham-let far away,

We'd meat life's frown wiih love's "Ma." -aid little Willie, who had caress

just returned from school. "11111 I Vnd cleaver road to happiness.—Ex. descended from a monkey."

"I don't know." was the hard- A Difference.

laced icplv. "I never met any nf Some men perspire and others 1 . • 1

your pii's people!" ' -weal.- Dr. Ilix-mi.

The follow iuu i- im effort in Dr.

Billings' "poetry th i s - : "

"Can a man buy a cap for hi- knee,

Or a key for a lock of hi- hair?

Can his vyv^ he called an acedeiiiy

Betiiiise there lire pupils th,

III the crown of Iiis head whal -mns

are sei ?

\\ Im crosses t he bridge of his

nose?

Can he use in shingling tin- roof of

his mouth? The nails on the end of h i - tne-?

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