Celebrate Recovery® - Adventure | Bayside Church

Co-Dependent Women in a Relationship with a Sexually Addicted ManSexual addiction and its causes are largely unknown to most people. This group not only provides support, but also helps women seek an understanding of their own personal issues. Co-Dependents can then confront their own denial and behavior while gaining insight and understanding of their spouse’s sexual addiction.

Recovery from AngerIndividual groups for men and womenThese recovery groups are for men and women who find that anger is their first response to problems of any size. The anger may be very evident as rage, or less obvious in terms of withdrawal and isolation. These groups focus on managing a God-given emotion in constructive ways.

Grupo de Hombres en EspañolAquí los hombres tienen la oportunidad de compartir sus hábitos, heridas, y complejos en su idioma natal.

WELCOME TO AN AMAZING SPIRITUAL ADVENTURE!

© Celebrate Recover y ®

Celebrate Recover y ®

W e l c o m e N e W c o m e r s !

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If you are new to recovery

we encourage you to attend

“Newcomers 101”

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Celebrate Recovery Small Groups CAN:• Provide you a safe place to share your experiences, strengths,

and hopes with others that are also going through a Christ-centered recovery.

• Provide you with a leader who has gone through a similar hurt, hang-up, or habit and who will facilitate the group as it focuses on a particular Step each week.

• The leader will also follow Celebrate Recovery’s “Small Group Guidelines,” listed below.

• Provide you with the opportunity to find an Accountability Partner or a Sponsor.

• Encourage you to attend other recovery meetings held throughout the week.

Celebrate Recovery Small Groups Will NOT:• Attempt to offer any professional advice. Our leaders are not

counselors. At your request, we can provide you with a list of approved counseling referrals.

• Allow its members to attempt to “fix” one another.

Small Group Guidelines1. Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts and feelings. Limit

your sharing to 3–5 minutes.2. There will be NO cross-talk. Cross-talk is when two individuals engage

in conversation excluding all others. Each person is free to express his or her feelings without interruptions.

3. We are here to support one another, not “fix” one another.4. Anonymity and confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared

in the group stays in the group. The only exception is when someone threatens to injure themselves or others.

5. Offensive language has no place in a Christ-centered recovery group.

Chemically DependentIndividual groups for men and womenIf you find that you cannot quit drinking or using entirely, even when you honestly want to, or if you have little control over the amount you consume, you are probably an alcoholic and/or an addict. If that is the case, you may be suffering from a problem that only a spiritual solution will conquer.

* Please be advised if anyone threatens to hurt themselves or others, their Small Group Leader has the responsibility to report it to a Celebrate Recovery Ministry Leader.

Co-DependencyIndividual groups for men and womenThis group is for those struggling with the compulsion to rescue and take care of others, have difficulty setting boundaries, or recognizing their own worth. Members in this group learn to express their own needs and wants in healthy ways.

Physical/Emotional and Sexual AbuseIndividual group for men and womenThis group is for those who have endured past physical, sexual and/or emotional abuse. Recovery includes healing from the traumas done to us at some time in our past, as well as healing from the influence these past experiences continue to have on our lives.

Adult Children of Family Dysfunction(formerly Adult Children of Alcoholics)The family problem of alcoholism made us “co-victims”—those who take on the characteristics of the alcoholic without necessarily ever taking a drink. Choosing to recognize and exit the modeled behaviors of alcoholism is the beginning of recovery for the ACFD.

Sexual AddictionIndividual groups for men and womenSupport group for those seeking recovery from lust and compulsive sexual behaviors. This group provides fellowship, is a safe place to share our struggles, pain, and victories, and helps to establish accountability and mutual support among the group members throughout the week.

Eating Disorders and Food AddictionThis recovery group’s purpose is to learn a new way of living. The Eating Disorder group addresses Anorexia and Bulimia. The Food Addiction group addresses compulsive overeating and those on the diet roller coaster. We have learned, our tendency is to compulsively try to control food or to be out of control with food. At your own pace, you will learn to trust, to ask for your needs to be met, to say “no” when it is appropriate, to express your feelings, and to hang around when all you want to do is run.

Love and Relationship AddictionThis group deals with Romance and Relationship Addiction only, and provides a safe place to deal with the depression, isolation, lack of trust, and the unhealthy use of love and relationships as a means of achieving worth.

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it!”

1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV

Accountability Team Phone Numbers

Sponsor

Accountability Partners



DEFINITIONS OFSOBRIETY


Sobriety for Co-Dependency The key to co-dependent sobriety is learning how to have healthy relationships and how to establish and enforce appropriate boundaries that we may accurately establish where we end and another person begins.

I can recognize co-dependent sobriety when I have not actively sought to control or manipulate others, given unsolicited advice, or based my self-concept on the well-being or approval of others.

While working toward co-dependent sobriety I’ll make a faithful commitment to consistently work the program, which includes working or having worked through the CR Step Study Group, steady attendance at the Friday night meetings, service, and accountability to a Sponsor and Accountability Partners. We advocate journaling, daily inventory, transparency, and rigorous honesty.

Sobriety for Sexual AddictionFor the unmarried Christian, sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with anyone else.

For the married Christian, sexual sobriety means having no form of sex with self or with anyone other than his or her spouse. The married person may need to consider a “season” of abstinence from sex with his or her spouse, especially early in the recovery process.

And for everyone, sexual sobriety means seeking and achieving progressive inner sobriety.

Sobriety for Co-Dependency in a Relationship With a Sexually Addicted Person

• A state of confidence resulting from a reliance and trust in God

• Focusing on God and relying on Him to meet my needs

• Letting go of control and trusting God for the outcome

• Not taking responsibility for the addict’s behavior or recovery

• Allowing the sex addict to be responsible for his own actions and recovery — no rescuing

• Being honest with myself about my need to be in recovery

• Minding my own business; no checking up on or spying on the addict, trusting that God will reveal any necessary information

• A commitment to growth through prayer, educational reading, and accountability

Sobriety for Physical/Sexual/Emotional AbuseOur definition of sobriety is to discover our purpose, to build our self-esteem, and to repair any damage done. We will allow ourselves to feel our feelings, to accept them, and learn to express them appropriately.

We will not partake in any addictive or self-destructive behaviors that so easily entangle us. We will not allow the pains of our past to keep us as victims but grow from God’s healing. In order to change, we as survivors of physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse cannot use history as an excuse for continuing our destructive behaviors

Sobriety for Food IssuesSobriety means I have not overeaten compulsively, binged/purged, starved myself/over-exercised, or engaged in any ritualistic eating pattern. Rather, I have released control of my food and way of eating to the control of God and sought to eat in a sane and healthy manner.

Sobriety for Anger Sobriety means I have not lashed out at others or harbored ill will toward others but have taken appropriate steps to forgive others and resolve conflicts. I have also not shut down emotionally, giving in to depression, which is anger turned inward.

Sobriety also means working or having worked through a CR Step Study Group, steady attendance at the Friday night meetings, serving, and accountability to a Sponsor and Accountability Partners.

Sobriety for Chemical Dependency In order to attain sobriety from chemical addiction I need to abstain from alcohol and all drugs one day at a time and continue to apply the recovery steps and principles in my life.

Sobriety for Financial Issues Living by God’s Financial Guidelines:Tithe 10% - Save 10% - Living on 80%

Sobriety for the GamblingSobriety for the compulsive gambler is defined as follows: complete abstinence of any betting or wagering, for self or others, whether for money or not, no matter how slight or insignificant, where the outcome is uncertain or depends upon chance or “skill” and constitutes gambling.

Small Group Guidelines1. Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts, feelings,

and actions. Please limit your sharing to three to five minutes.

2. There is NO cross-talk please. Cross-talk is when two people engage in a dialogue during the meeting. Each person sharing is free to express feelings without interruptions.

3. We are here to support one another. We will not attempt to “fix” one another.

4. Anonymity and confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the group stays in the group. The only exception is when someone threatens to injure themselves or others.



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CHEMICALDEPENDENCY

The Problem and Solution


The ProblemWhen you are honest with yourself, do you find you cannot quit drinking or using drugs entirely? Do you have little control over the amount you consume? You are probably an alcoholic and/or an addict.

Characteristics of someone struggling with chemical dependency may include, but are not limited to:• My addiction isolates me from people except when I am

getting, using, and finding ways and means to get more. • I have an inability to deal with life on life’s terms. • I have tried drugs or alcohol or combinations of both to find

contentment in a seemly hostile world. • I have dreamed of that magic formula that would solve my

ultimate problem — myself. • At times, I have been defensive about my addiction and

justified my right to use, especially when and if I used legal prescriptions.

• I am trapped in the illusion of “just one more time.” Or “this time it will be different.”

• When I did seek help I was only looking for the pain to go away.

• My track record shows that it is impossible for me to use successfully.

The SolutionI will come to believe there is only one solution. I will accept Jesus Christ as my Higher Power and follow His plan for my life. I will work through the 8 Recovery Principles found in the Beatitudes. With Jesus Christ as my Higher Power, I can and will change!

We will learn how to:• Live without drinking or using one day at a time with the

help of the Higher Power, Jesus Christ.• Stay away from that first drink. If there isn’t a first one,

there cannot be a 10th one. And when free of alcohol, life becomes much more manageable.

• Experience the true peace and serenity you have been seeking.

• Restore and develop stronger relationships with God and with others.

• Stop relying on dysfunctional, compulsive, and addictive behaviors as a temporary “fix” for pain.

• Apply the biblical principles of conviction, conversion, surrender, confession, restoration, prayer, quiet time, witnessing, and helping one another.

I will also be willing to:• Form an Accountability TEAM: Sponsor, Accountability

Partners. • Weekly attending the Open Share Group. • Commit to a daily quiet time in the Celebrate Recovery

Bible. • Read about this area of recovery.• Understanding the root of each core issue you identify with

and become willing to experience grief, forgiveness, and acceptance.

As you draw closer to your Higher Power, Jesus Christ, you will learn how to apply the 8 Recovery Principles and 12 Steps, designed to guide you in this journey we call “Recovery.”

If you are diligent to provide willingness, integrity, consistency, and rigorous honesty, God will supply you with the courage, strength, and ability to take the necessary steps to gain freedom from unhealthy behaviors.








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CO -DEPENDENCY



The ProblemIn the broadest sense, co-dependency is when a person’s need for approval or validation from another person allows them to be controlled or manipulated. They are willing to compromise their own values, choices, and behavior at the expense of their personal well-being.

Characteristics of someone struggling with co-dependency may include, but are not limited to:

Assuming responsibility for other’s feelings and behaviors. Feeling guilty about other’s feelings and behaviors. Having difficulty identifying or expressing one’s own feelings. Minimizing, altering, or denying how one truly feels. Worrying about how others may respond to your feelings,

opinions, and behavior. Valuing others opinions and feelings more than your own. Feeling embarrassed when receiving recognition, praise, or gifts. Living with messages of not being good enough, valued, or loved. Fear of expressing different opinions or feelings from those of

others. Fear of being hurt and/or rejected by others. Compromising one’s own beliefs, values, and integrity to avoid

other’s rejection or anger. Over-functioning to be needed, valued, or loved. Tolerating mistreatment or abuse from others while justifying

their behavior and trying to defend them. Overly caring for others at the expense of one’s own self needs;

feeling victimized and “used” as a result. Anxiety in saying “no” to someone, even when saying “yes” would

be at great inconvenience. Directly or indirectly attempting to fix, manage, or control

another person’s problems to help them avoid feeling bad or experiencing the consequences of their choices.

Judging everything you think, say, or do harshly, as never being “good enough.”

Feels conflicted by a desire to be needed and resentment for feeling obligated in serving others.

Being extremely loyal, to the point of remaining in harmful situations too long.

Feels bound in relationships by performance (what I do) rather than core value and worth (who I am).

Avoids conflict with other people to the point of being unable to speak true feelings or asking for valid needs to be met, oftentimes countered by fits of anger or rage.

The SolutionFreedom from co-dependency begins when we surrender the illusion that our identity and value are established through the lenses of other people. Our identity is in how God views us and who He created us to be. As a result, we no longer need to see ourselves as a function of what we do, but who we already are.

Sobriety for the co-dependent is different. It is not characterized by abstaining from a substance. It is more relational in nature. Co-dependent sobriety is a process distinguished by the following:

• Working through the 8 Recovery Principles and 12 Steps Principles as a part of a CR Step Study and learning to apply them to day-to-day life.

• Accepting and walking in the biblical truth that your self-worth is who you are in Christ, and not based on how others view you, what you do, or the service you perform.

• Learning to recognize and enforce healthy boundaries that accurately establish where you end and another person begins. Not allowing others to compromise those boundaries.

• Learning how to help others in suitable ways, without rescuing or fixing; allowing them to act independently, allowing them to own the results of their choices and behavior.

• Performing acts of service as a choice, not out of duty or for recognition and value from others. Serving with joy using God-given talents and abilities.

• Learning to live a balanced life where self-care and taking responsibility for one’s own health and well-being take priority over the addictive behavior and control of others.

As you draw closer to your Higher Power, Jesus Christ, you will learn how to apply the 8 Recovery Principles and 12 Steps, designed to guide you in this journey we call “Recovery.”

If you are diligent to provide willingness, integrity, consistency, and rigorous honesty, God will supply you with the courage, strength, and ability to take the necessary steps to gain freedom from compulsive behaviors.








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CO -DEPENDENT WOMENIN A RELATIONSHIP

WITH A SEXUALLYADDICTED MAN

The Problem and the Solution


The ProblemMany of us blame ourselves for the addict’s behavior: We tell ourselves, “If only I were more attractive, thinner, taller, shorter, etc.—if only I were more sexual.”

We give in to others’ behaviors, only to lose ourselves in the process. Sometimes, we have even participated in their sexual fantasies, or joined in by buying pornography or renting videos, leaving us feeling used and abused. Some of us ignored or did not recognize the signs that the addict was living a secret life.

Many of us blame the addict and their behavior for every problem in our relationship. We believe that if they would only change then everything would be fine. In essence, co-dependents are addicted to their spouse’s behaviors. They either give in to the addict, try to control them or make them stop.

We have sometimes pretended to family, friends, and co-workers that everything is “wonderful.” We have been unforgiving and sometimes punishing toward the addict.

Co-dependent people in a relationship with a sexually addicted spouse may share the following experiences:• Having a spouse who has continually called “900” sex

numbers.• Having a spouse who is currently having or has had an affair.• You, yourself, are having an affair.• Issues dealing with molestation and abuse from spouse.• Their spouse is having homosexual affairs.• Their spouse is watching adult sex videos and buying

pornography (magazines).• Their spouse is having sex with prostitutes.

The SolutionThe co-dependent person can achieve the following:• Hear the struggles of other co-dependents.• Learn healthy, Christian values for family roles and rules.• Gain information about healthy sexuality and relationships.• Break through denial and other unhealthy family patterns.• Encouragement from the group to find peace, strength, and

grace through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.• Build healthy relationships by finding love and acceptance in

a “safe” place to share.• Realize that we could not control the addict or their behavior.• Understand that our problems are emotional and spiritual.• Face our denial and accept the truth about our lives, and our

past issues.• Realize that blaming ourselves, trying to control the addict

and/or ignoring their behavior, refusing to set and uphold our own personal boundaries, are all signs of co-addiction.

• Accept responsibility for our own actions and make Jesus the Lord of our lives.

• Become dedicated to learning about sexual addiction and co-addiction and becoming partners with our spouse in recovery.

• Realize we are not responsible for their addiction or recovery. It is not our job to “cure” them.

• Find healthy ways to release our fears and anger and refuse to use anger inappropriately toward the addict.

• Have a safe place to share fears, hurt, or anger and also to rejoice in victories.

• Face our own defects and work through these feelings.• Take the focus off of the addict and focus on God and our

own thoughts and feelings.








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ADULT CHILDREN OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION



Do you feel isolated, uneasy with other people, especially authority figures? Are you a people pleaser, even though, to protect yourself, you lose your own identity in the process?

We have become alcoholics ourselves, or married them, or both. Failing that, we found another compulsive personality, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick need for abandonment.

The Problem• Guess what is normal.• Have difficulty following a project through to completion.• Lie, when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.• Judge themselves without mercy.• Have difficulty having fun.• Take themselves very seriously.• Have difficulty with relationships.• Overreact to changes over which they have no control.• Constantly seek approval and affirmation.• Either super responsible or super irresponsible.• Extremely loyal even when the loyalty is undeserved.• Look for immediate rather than deferred gratification.• Lock themselves into a course of action; no serious consideration

for alternate behaviors or possible consequences.• Seek tension and crisis, and then complain about the results.• Avoid conflict or aggravate it; rarely do they deal with it.• Fear rejection and abandonment, yet are rejecting of others.• Fear failure but sabotage their success.• Fear criticism and judgment, yet criticize and judge others.• Manage time poorly and do not set priorities in a way that works

effectively for them.

The SolutionThe solution is to become your own loving parent.

• Find the freedom to express all the hurts and fears kept inside and gain freedom from the shame and blame carried over from the past.

• Become an adult who is no longer imprisoned by childhood reactions.

• Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt you and make amends for harm you’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.

• Recover the child within you, learning to accept and love yourself.

• Move out of self-imposed isolation.• Rediscover feelings and buried memories.• Gradually release the burden of unexpressed grief; slowly move

out of the past.• Learn to re-parent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love, and

respect.• Learn to see our biological parents as the instruments of our

existence.• Trust that your actual parent is the Higher Power, Jesus Christ.

Although we had alcoholic parents, our Higher Power gave us the 8 Recovery Principles.

• Receive experience, strength, and hope from others.• Restructure unhealthy thinking one day at a time.• Release our parents from the responsibility for our actions today.• Become free to make healthy decisions, allowing us to act, not

react.• Progress from hurting, to healing, to helping.• Awaken to a sense of wholeness we never knew was possible.• Come to see parental alcoholism for what it is. Know how that

affected you as a child and continues to affect you as an adult.• Learn to keep the focus on yourself in the here and now.• Take responsibility for your own life and supply your own

parenting.• See beautiful changes in all your relationships, especially with

God, yourself, and your parents.

To change, adult children of family dysfunction/ACFD cannot use history as an excuse for continuing their behaviors. They learn to have no regrets for what might have been, because their experiences have shaped their talents as well as their defects of character. It is their responsibility to discover their talents, to build their self-esteem, and to repair any damage done. They will allow themselves to feel their feelings, to accept them, and learn to express them appropriately. When they have begun those tasks, they will try to let go of their past and get on with the business of their life.








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EATING DISORDERS



The ProblemEating disorders involve extreme disturbances in eating behavior. An eating disorder can begin to reveal itself very early in life, and is no respecter of race, gender, or ethnicity. An eating disorder can be characterized as:• an excessive or compulsive consumption of food (bingeing)• and/or getting rid of food (purging)

It may also be characterized by • self-induced starvation and excessive and unhealthy

weight loss

It may also show itself in any combination of these extreme eating behaviors, bringing with it strong feelings of being completely out of control. We may manifest inappropriate behaviors to compensate for our unhealthy eating behaviors, including, but not limited to:• excessive use of laxatives and/or enemas• frequent dieting• an overall unhealthy obsession with body weight and shape

We may have believed the lie that our bodies define who we are, and that changing our body image to fit an imagined standard would bring fulfillment, peace, and acceptance into our chaotic lives. We may have jeopardized our relationships, health, jobs, morals, and values to ensure we meet these imagined standards.

We may have used food as a means to control. We felt our circumstances and relationships were unmanageable. We compulsively obsessed over food as the one thing in life that we could bring order to.

We may also have rationalized our addictive behaviors, justifying our unhealthy relationship with food as “health conscious.” We may be living a double life, secretly acting out, ashamed of our lack of control, ashamed of our bodies, ashamed of our destructive and irrational behavior.

We became disconnected from reality making true intimacy with God or other people seemingly impossible. Some of us cling to the false sense of control and power our behavior gives us. Some of us sink into despair as we cycle through the endless shame and pain that the disordered eating brings us.

The SolutionHealing begins NOT when we change our behaviors, but when we change our beliefs about

1. who we are, and2. what God created food for

We let go of the lie that our bodies define who we are. We let go of the lie that food is a means to control and manipulate our disordered eating. We begin to believe the truth about who we are. Then, the truth about God’s purpose for food can bring about healing.

With support from our recovery group, our Sponsor, and our Accountability Partners, we can begin to renounce these lies and believe the truth that

1. God loves me unconditionally, He gives me my value, and I do not need to change my body to have worth and significance, and

2. God created food for His purposes: to fuel my body, to enjoy in moderation, and to celebrate in community.








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FOOD ADDICTION



The Problem• Throughout our lives many of us have turned to food to ease

our pain or fear.• We felt comfort in eating and found ourselves turning to

food whenever we were hurt, angry, or frustrated.• Food became our comforter, our friend.• Some of us may have one specific food that we have trouble

eating in healthy amounts, and once we start eating it, we cannot stop.

• Some of us may have been emotionally, physically, or sexually abused and use food to cope with the emotions of those events.

• Some of us may have had healthy eating habits as children or young adults, but at some point in our lives we chose to overeat and lost the ability to discern when we were physically hungry or when we were physically full.

• Some of us may have turned to food after obtaining sobriety in other areas.

• We thought food was “safe,” not realizing it could become our “drug of choice.”

• We have focused on our body image instead of our health.• Many of us have tried various diet programs, exercising,

medications, or many other ways of trying to control our eating habits.

• We have failed over and over and are left feeling guilty, incapable, and unlovable.

• We have given in to the idea that there is one perfect diet or pill out there that can save us if only we could find it.

• Some of us believe that thin people do not struggle with food addiction. We have also failed to recognize food as our “drug of choice.”

• As a result of our food addiction, we feel out of control and may struggle with many other areas of our lives.

• Some of us have low self-esteem which may affect our motivation, and our relationship with God and others.

The Solution• We came to realize that we are powerless and could not

control our addiction to food.• We understand that our problems are emotional and spiritual.• We are ready to face our denial and accept the truth about

our lives and our food addiction.• We are ready to accept responsibility for our actions and

make Jesus the Lord of our lives.• We are dedicated to learning about healthy eating.• We are committed to learning the difference between

physical and emotional hunger.• We are willing to turn to God when we are not physically

hungry.• We will begin to view food as fuel for our body so that we

will not eat unless we are physically hungry and stop when we are physically full.

• We are willing to begin the process of recovery and working through the 12 steps to heal ourselves, and start living the life God has planned for us.

• We are willing to find a Sponsor and Accountability Partners.• We realize our group provides a safe place to share our fears,

hurt, or anger and is also a place to rejoice in victories.• We are willing to face our character defects and work

through these feelings in our group.• We are willing to take the focus off of food and focus on

God.• We recognize that recovery from food addiction is not about

our body image or what foods we eat, but it is about trusting God and having an intimate relationship with Him.

• We are willing to believe and trust in God’s love for us, and to see ourselves as He sees us.

• We are willing to seek a closer relationship with God.• By facing our fears, we have realized that we need Jesus

Christ and the Holy Spirit in our life to overcome those fears.• As we surrender our food addiction to God, we will come to

know that He is all we need.

TAKING A “TIME-OUT”: When I feel body arousal, I need to recognize that as a sign that I am getting angry. I will use a “time-out” to isolate myself from the trigger for my anger and to prevent the anger from becoming too intense. I will ask myself, “What is making me angry?” I will reappraise the situation to keep my behavior under control. I will do something physical to release the adrenaline rush and energy in a healthy way, such as going for a walk or cleaning a closet. I will avoid alcohol, caffeine, or other medicating substances during “time-out.”

CONFRONTING IN LOVE: After the time-out, I will go back and deal with what made me angry. If I leave an issue unresolved, it is likely to return later. I will not use the confrontation as an opportunity to blame, shame, seek revenge, or to rationalize my anger. Examples of confronting in love while stating my feelings are: “I love you; here’s how this action makes me feel,” or “I feel devalued when this is said or done.”

WORK THE 12 STEPS AND CONNECT WITH OTHERS: I will commit to working the 12 Steps, to attend regularly the Celebrate Recovery meetings, and to getting an Accountability Partner and Sponsor for my anger management.

FORGIVE: I will become willing to forgive myself and others (Colossians 3:13). Forgiveness is NOT forgetting what has happened. Forgiveness IS changing the way I think. Forgiveness IS giving up my desire for revenge.


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FREEDOM FROM ANGER



The ProblemEvery person has a “Pattern of Toxic Behavior” that can significantly damage the important and intimate relationships in his or her life. Anger is one of our 10 basic, God-given emotions. This emotion can be CONSTRUCTIVE or DESTRUCTIVE — depending on our response. We should give Jesus a “NANO SECOND” (just one billionth of a second!) to help us learn to use all of our emotions according to God’s design for our lives, and to change our pattern of relating to others and our responsibilities appropriately.

We learned how to express anger inappropriately from others. We did not realize that when we lashed out in anger, we were ignoring our fear, pain, or another deeper hurt, hang-up, or habit. Many of us did not even realize we were struggling with anger because we did not express it, but rather, we stuffed it down and kept silent.

When most of us think of an “angry” person, we think of someone who destroys themselves and their relationships through uncontrollable outbursts of rage. This is only one part of anger, as anger has many faces. Suppressed or “stuffed” anger is equally damaging and destructive. All anger, if allowed to, will continue to destructively influence our behaviors and attitudes, and will eventually erupt from deep within the heart.

As our lives and relationships progressed we may have become addicted to the physical symptoms of anger. Some of us may have felt a momentary euphoria as we released the anger. Some of us justified our anger. We did not recognize we were actually hurting our loved ones and ourselves. In the heat of the moment, releasing our anger was all that mattered.

Many of us feel intense shame and guilt over the actions that we have committed during our unhealthy expressions of anger. We vowed never to act that way again, only to find ourselves back in the same situations, unable to change it under our own power.

Complete the following questionnaire. It may reveal more about your anger than you realize. It may help you decide if your anger is reaching a destructive level in your life. (*Adapted from The Anger Workbook, written by Dr. Les Carter and Dr. Frank Minirth.)

Check the statements that apply to you:

__ I become impatient easily when things do not go according to my plans.__ I have critical thoughts toward others who don’t agree with my opinions.__ When I am displeased with someone I may shut down any

communication with them or withdraw entirely.__ I am annoyed easily when friends and family do not appear sensitive to

my needs.__ I feel frustrated when I see someone else having an “easier” time than

me.

__ Whenever I am responsible for planning an important event, I am preoccupied with how I must manage it.

__ When talking about a controversial topic, the tone of my voice is likely to become louder and more assertive.

__ I can accept a person who admits his or her mistakes, but I am irritated easily at those who refuse to admit their weaknesses.

__ I do not easily forget when someone “does me wrong.”__ When someone confronts me with a misinformed opinion, I am thinking

of my comeback even while they’re still speaking.__ I find myself becoming aggressive even while playing a game for fun. __ I struggle emotionally with the things in life that “aren’t fair.”__ Although I realize it may not be right, I sometimes blame others for my

problems.__ More often than not, I use sarcasm as a way of expressing humor.__ I may act kindly toward others on the outside, yet feel bitter and

frustrated on the inside.

The SolutionTAKE RESPONSIBILITY: Recognizing and accepting responsibility for toxic patterns of behavior is the first step toward true freedom from anger. Walking through the recovery process with Jesus Christ as our Higher Power allows us to admit our powerlessness to control our anger. He will help us overcome our destructive habits.

EVALUATE THE ANGER: There are two kinds of anger: healthy adaptive anger and unhealthy needless anger. Healthy anger is based on being protective of myself or others. Unhealthy needless anger is based on my resentment, which leads to wanting revenge. It is healthy and necessary to feel anger and to talk about anger. I should recognize anger as my own emotion and avoid hurting the objects of my anger — keeping my anger as a feeling not an action. Looking at anger as a feeling may also reveal a larger hurt, hang-up, or habit that is hiding behind the anger. It is what I do with my feelings that will allow me to fall into sin. I need to check the motives for my behavior. Rudeness under the disguise of being honest is still rudeness.

DAILY QUIET TIME WITH GOD: Anger causes me to live in conflict and not in peace. I will try to remember that God is in charge of my life and He loves me unconditionally. I will commit to having a daily quiet time with God. During this quiet time with God it would be helpful to identify some helpful Scriptures and write them somewhere to read throughout during the day. Some suggestions include the Serenity Prayer, Ephesians 4:31-32, and James 1:19-20.








Sponsor




GAMBLING ADDICTION



The ProblemIf, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit gambling entirely, or if you have little control over the amount you bet, you are probably a compulsive gambler. A compulsive gambler is described as a person whose gambling has caused growing and continuing problems in any department of his or her life. If that is the case, you may be suffering from a problem which only a spiritual solution will conquer.

Most of us have been unwilling to admit that we were compulsive gamblers. I cannot go on believing that I am not in that class.

• My gambling makes me careless of the welfare of myself and/or my family.

• I have borrowed money, sold possessions, and/or committed an illegal act to finance gambling.

• After losing I felt the need to return as soon as possible and win back my losses or after a win had a strong urge to return and win more.

• I have lost time at work, school, home, and with friends to gamble.

• At times, I have been defensive about my gambling and justified my right to gambling, especially when trying to escape worry or stress.

• I was trapped in the illusion of “just one more time.” Or “this time it will be different.”

• When I did seek help I was only looking for the pain to go away.• My track record shows that it is impossible for me to gamble

successfully.

What Is Your Score?Did you answer YES two or more times? If so, you are probably in trouble with gambling. Only you can decide whether you think Celebrate Recovery is for you. Try to keep an open mind on the subject. If the answer is YES, we will be glad to show you how we stopped gambling ourselves.

The SolutionI will come to believe there is no only one solution to accept Jesus Christ as my Higher Power and follow His plan for my life by working through the 8 Recovery Principles found in the Beatitudes. With Jesus Christ as your Higher Power, you can and will change!

We will learn how to:• Live without gambling one day at a time with the help of the

Higher Power, Jesus Christ.• Stay away from that first bet. If there isn’t a first one, there

cannot be a 10th one. And when free of gambling, life becomes much more manageable.

• Experience the true peace and serenity you have been seeking.• Restore and develop stronger relationships with God and with

others.• Stop relying on dysfunctional, compulsive, and addictive

behaviors as a temporary “fix” for pain.• Apply the biblical principles of conviction, conversion, surrender,

confession, restitution, prayer, quiet time, witnessing, and helping one another.

We will learn how to:• Form an Accountability TEAM: Sponsor, Accountability Partners.• Weekly attending the Open Share Group.• Commit to a daily quiet time in the Celebrate Recovery Bible.• Read about this area of recovery.• Understanding the root of each core issue you identify with and

become willing to experience grief, forgiveness, and acceptance.

Definition of SobrietySobriety for the compulsive gambler is defined as follows: Complete abstinence of any betting or wagering, for self or others, whether for money or not, no matter how slight or insignificant, where the outcome is uncertain or depends upon chance or “skill” constitutes gambling.








Sponsor




LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP

ADDICTION



The ProblemThis group provides a safe place to deal with the depression, isolation, lack of trust, and the unhealthy use of love and relationships as means of achieving worth, that are characteristic of Romance and Relationship Addictions.

Addicted to “Love” characteristics are:• Lack of nurturing and attention when young• Feeling isolated, detached from parents and family• Outer facade of “having it all together” to hide internal disintegration• Mistake intensity for intimacy• Hidden pain• Seek to avoid rejection and abandonment at all cost• Afraid to trust anyone in a relationship• Inner rage over lack of nurturing, early abandonment• Depressed• Highly manipulative and controlling of others• Perceive attraction, attachment, and sex as basic human needs, as with

food and water• Sense of worthlessness• Escalating tolerance for high-risk behavior• Intense need to control self, others, and circumstances• Presence of other addictive or compulsive problems• Using others alter mood or relieve pain• Continual questioning of values and lifestyle• Driven, desperate, frantic personality• Existence of secret “double life”• Refusal to acknowledge existence of problem• Defining out-of-control behavior as normal• Defining “wants” as “needs”

The SolutionThe goal of recovery is to achieve and maintain sobriety. In most addictions, sobriety can be defined simply by ceasing the unhealthy behaviors. Stopping and staying stopped are the goals. For most types of problems, the slogan “just say no” is appropriate.

Staying sober is more complicated with people addictions. The aim of recovery cannot be the complete avoidance of all forms of romance and relationships. It is similar to the challenge faced by people addicted to overeating; they cannot simply give up food. Rather, they must learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy eating. They must eliminate the unhealthy while promoting the healthy behavior. In the same way, for those addicted to love, the goal of

recovery is not to become a hermit living in the mountains. The goal is to foster healthy relationships and eliminate unhealthy ones.

Asking the following questions can help you determine if a particular behavior will contribute to a healthy relationship or lead to addictive behavior.

1. Will I later have to deny that I did it?2. Is it self-centered?3. Is it abusive to myself or to others?4. Is it inconsistent with my values?5. Would I refuse to do it if Christ were standing here with me?6. Is it an action without an underlying commitment?7. Will I feel better or worse about myself for having done it?8. Will someone else feel worse for my having done it?9. Is this a waste of my time or the time of others?10. Am I doing this to escape painful feelings of reality?

A yes to any of these questions should be a “red flag” that the behavior being considered may be unhealthy. When romance and relationships proceed with these types of dynamics, they are likely to be dysfunctional and addictive.

Sobriety means establishing and maintaining a balanced lifestyle. At the same time, staying sober is always more than the mere presence or absence of certain behaviors. Sobriety is more than just “not doing” certain things. It involves personal growth. It is not what we avoid, but what we grow toward, that makes sobriety meaningful. As we have seen, growth must occur in several areas of our lives. We must look to our physical health. We must be concerned for our emotional, social, and mental welfare. Spiritual growth must be the foundational block, upon which, all other growth is built and sustained. Balance is the key. Romance and relationships have been the dominant factors in the life of one addicted to love. Recovery is the time for these relationships to find their rightful and healthy place as a part of the whole person, not as tyrants which control and consume a person.

Recovery is meant to be far more than survival or another coping strategy. Recovery is to lead to an intimate relationship with Christ, and to a re-birth of the heart. The goal is for the healing of a broken and empty heart and the filling of that heart with a love for God, for others and for yourself. Life’s central truth is that GOD LOVES US. Christ sacrificed himself because of His love for us. His sacrifice made it possible for us to be women who love. Entering into God’s love, making it our own, and being able to share it with others—that is the goal of recovery.


Sponsor




MENTAL HEALTH



What we are.A safe and loving place for those seeking to find support amid mental health issue and dual diagnosis. Willing to support mental health through Christ-centered accountability and sponsorship.

A safe place to work through all of life’s hurts, hang-ups, and habits. believing that freedom in Christ is something that can be complete even without physical healing.

What we are not.A place for judgment.

A replacement for counseling and therapy.

A place that gives up on HOPE!

The ProblemFifty percent of all adults will experience some form of mental health issue in their life. * This can mean different things to different people. Ultimately, the list of the different types of disorders is too large for one informational sheet.“Mental Health Issue/Mental Illness is an ongoing condition that affects mood, behaviors, and thinking patterns which may cause suffering and/or may interfere with a person’s ability to function with typical daily activities on a frequent basis.”Just like any other organ in our body, our brains are subject to malfunction from time to time. In the same way that a heart, lung, or kidney can malfunction, our brains can malfunction. This can lead to feelings of devastation, anger, or loneliness, for example. Often the result is a feeling of isolation, loss of control, and hopelessness. Frequently, to ease these overwhelming emotions, people will use unhealthy coping skills. This can be through unhealthy relationships, at-risk behaviors, substance abuse, etc.

The SolutionThankfully, through the loving grace of Jesus Christ we do not have to live under the assumption that we have no hope. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) we see God telling us,

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

This tells us that when we are feeling weak, God steps in to fill the gap for us if we let Him.Celebrate Recovery is a tool to help us experience the freedom that comes when we allow God to stand in the gap for us. Utilizing the 12 Steps of Recovery and their biblical comparisons, along with the 8 Principles based on the Beatitudes, we allow God to work in our lives. In Step 3, “We make a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.” When we stop trying to get by under our own power and give that control over to God, we start living under His power. His “perfect power” offers healing and hope from life’s hurts, hang-ups, and habits.God gives us the ability to come out of the darkness that weighs so heavily on us. We can feel what it is like to walk through life with hope for a better tomorrow. We can start building relationships with others that are healthy. We learn positive tools for coping with frustrations and then incorporate these tools into our lives. Celebrate Recovery cannot promise physical healing from your mental health issues, no more than it can promise healing for cancer. What we can offer you is this:Celebrate Recovery is…

• …a safe and loving place for those seeking to find support in the midst of a mental health issue and dual diagnosis.

• …willing to support mental health through Christ-centered accountability and sponsorship.

• …a safe place to work through all of life’s hurts, hang-ups, and habits believing that freedom in Christ is something that can be complete even without physical healing.

Celebrate Recovery is not a replacement for professional counseling, therapy, and medical treatment. We are here to support those efforts and encourage you as you use them.Living with mental health issues can be difficult. There is no denying that fact. But living with mental health issues does not have to be a lifelong sentence of misery. You do have hope for a better tomorrow. By living one day at a time, one moment at a time, you can find peace. You can live a life that is extraordinary.

*Centers for Disease Control and Prevention








Sponsor




PHYSICAL/SEXUAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE

FOR WOMEN



The ProblemRecovery is a two-fold process in this case. The first step is healing from the traumas done to us in our past, and the second step is healing from the influence these past experiences continue to have in our present lives.

(Most) Survivors of Physical / Sexual / Emotional Abuse…• Are hesitant to identify themselves as victims of abuse.

• Feel isolated, depressed, worthless, and helpless to change.

• Are struggling with feelings about God in relation to their life experiences of abuse.

• Condemn themselves, denying the past abuse affects their present circumstances.

• Feel out of control and defeated in areas of compulsive behavior.

• Feel angry, bitter, and rebellious; have trouble with authority figures.

• Feel a lack of self-worth.

• Are preoccupied with thoughts of what it means to have a “normal” relationship with others: mates, friends, family.

• Question their own sexual identity and may experience confusion regarding their own sexuality.

• Desire to regain their sexuality and feel safe in intimate relationships.

• Question self-reality: “Who am I?”

• Question whether life has a purpose.

• Feel “at home” in crisis situations.

• Struggle with perfectionism or “all or nothing thinking.”

• Desire to have victory through Christ over the life experience of abuse.

The SolutionSurvivors of Physical / Sexual / Emotional Abuse can experience recovery when…• We recognize that we are powerless to heal the damaged

emotions resulting from our abuse. We look to God for the power to make us whole.

• We admit that God’s plan for our lives includes victory over the experience of abuse.

• We understand the people who abused us are responsible for the abusive acts committed against us. We will not accept the guilt and shame resulting from those abusive acts.

• We look to God and His Word to find our identity as worthwhile and loved human beings.

• We are honestly sharing our feelings with God and at least one other person to help us identify the areas that need cleansing and healing.

• We accept the responsibility for our responses to abuse.

• We are willing to accept God’s help in the decision and the process of forgiving ourselves and those who have perpetrated against us.

• We are willing to mature in our relationships with God and others.

• We are willing to be used by God as an instrument of healing and restoration in the lives of others.

* The Solution is partially based on the book Helping the Victims of Sexual Abuse by Lynn Heitritter and Jeanette Vought.








Sponsor




PHYSICAL/SEXUAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE

THE 12 STEPS


STEP ONE We admit we are powerless over the past, and as a result, our lives have become unmanageable.

STEP TWO Believe God can restore us to wholeness, and realize this power can always be trusted to bring healing and wholeness in our lives.

STEP THREE Make a decision to turn our lives and our wills to the care of God, realizing we have not always understood His unconditional love. Choose to believe He does love us, is worthy of trust, and will help us to understand Him as we seek His truth.

STEP FOUR Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, realizing all wrongs can be forgiven. Renounce the lie that the abuse was our fault.

STEP FIVE Admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of the wrongs in our lives. This will include those acts perpetrated against us, as well as those wrongs we perpetrated against others.

STEP SIX By accepting God’s cleansing, we can renounce our shame. Now we are ready to have God remove all these character distortions and defects.

STEP SEVEN Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings, including our guilt. We release our fear and submit to Him.

STEP EIGHT Make a list of all persons who have harmed us and become willing to seek God’s help in forgiving our perpetrators, as well as forgiving ourselves. Realize we’ve also harmed others and become willing to make amends to them.

STEP NINE Extend forgiveness to ourselves and to others who have perpetrated against us, realizing this is an attitude of the heart, not always confrontation. Make direct amends, asking forgiveness from those people we have harmed, except when to do so would injure them or others.

STEP TEN Continue to take personal inventory as new memories and issues surface. We continue to renounce our shame and guilt, but when we are wrong, promptly admit it.

STEP ELEVEN Continue to seek God through prayer and meditation to improve our understanding of His character. Praying for knowledge of His truth in our lives, His will for us, and for the power to carry that out.

STEP TWELVE Having a spiritual awakening as we accept God’s love and healing through these steps, we try to carry His message of hope to others. Practice these principles as new memories and issues surface, claiming God’s promise of restoration and wholeness.

*Throughout this material, you will notice several references to the Christ-centered 12 Steps. Our prayer is that Celebrate Recovery will create a bridge to the millions of people who are familiar with the secular 12 Steps (I acknowledge the use of some material from the 12 Suggested Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous) and in so doing, introduce them to the one and only true Higher Power, Jesus Christ. Once they begin that relationship, asking Christ into their hearts as Lord and Savior, true healing and recovery can begin!








Sponsor




SELF-INJURY



Do you use self-harm as a way of expressing and dealing with deep distress and emotional pain? Does hurting yourself make you feel better? Do you feel like you have no choice? Is it the only way you know how to cope with feelings like sadness, depression, worthlessness, guilt, and anger?

The Problem• You try to keep what you’re doing secret.

• You feel ashamed or think no one will understand.

• You carry around a heavy burden.

• You feel trapped.

• The secrecy and guilt affects your relationships with family and friends.

• It makes you feel more sadness, depression, worthlessness, guilt and anger.

• The relief you feel is short-term.

• Self-injury is becoming addictive.

The SolutionSelf-injury doesn’t help us with the issues that make us want to hurt ourselves in the first place. There can be victory from self-injury when we find other ways to deal with the underlying issues. You are not alone in this struggle. Here are some ways we have found successful in helping overcome self-injury.

• Get involved in Celebrate Recovery. Attend meetings. Form an Accountability team and get a sponsor.

• Commit to attending weekly CR meetings.

• Spend some quiet time with God.

• Call a friend. Reach out. Don’t isolate.

• Go for a walk. Get some exercise.

• Allow yourself to feel emotions. It’s OK to cry.

• Release your emotions through journaling or another creative outlet.

• Be kind to yourself.

• Talk to God. Tell Him about your pain. Ask for His help.

As you begin to walk the road to recovery, you will develop insight into your self-injury. Coming to understand why you self-injure is an important step. You will find hope. People do recover. It will take some effort but it will be worth it!








Sponsor




SEXUAL ADDICTION



The ProblemOur sexual addiction issue began as an overpowering desire for pleasurable relief. We were running from an inner pain, loneliness, emptiness, or insecurity that we could not cope with in any other way. At first, it did provide the relief we sought. For a time, lust, pornography, or sex with ourselves or with others dissolved the tension. It relieved the depression, resolved the conflict, and provided the means to deal with or escape from life’s seemingly unbearable situations.

Eventually, our search for relief became an addiction, and the addiction took on a life of its own. We gradually replaced pleasure and relief with tension, depression, rage, guilt, and even physical distress. To relieve this new pain, we resorted to more sex, pornography, and lust, losing more control in the process. We were driven to spend more time thinking about and carrying out our addiction. We lived in denial to avoid recognizing just how much our addiction controlled our life.

Finally, we risked our relationships, jobs, ethics, and values, and even neglected our children. All the while, we rationalized our sexual behaviors. We asked ourselves, “What will a little fantasy hurt?” or “What they don’t know, won’t hurt them.” As we lived a double life, we became disconnected from reality making true intimacy with another impossible. We carried this behavior from relationship to relationship and even into our marriages.

Why? We were running, running from love, running from pain — pain from shame, self-hate, and multiple forms of abuse. We lacked self-worth, feared intimacy, and were spiritually bankrupt.

A new loneliness overwhelmed us as we realized that because of our addiction, we had become increasingly separated from God and our loved ones. We began to seek sobriety. As we stayed sexually sober for some time, we discovered that even though we may not be acting out our compulsion, our obsession was still with us.

Take a few minutes to complete the following questionnaire. It may reveal more about your sexual addiction issues than you realize, helping you find out if your sexual addiction is reaching a destructive level in your life.

Are You Sexually Addicted?1. Do you go from one relationship to another?2. Do you feel the right relationship would fulfill all your needs?3. Do you use sex as an escape?4. Do you make excuses to leave your partner as soon as possible after the act?5. After a sexual experience, do you feel guilty? 6. Has your pursuit of sex interfered with your relationship with your spouse? 7. Do you find you cannot resist a sexual overture?8. Have you ever sought out help to change your sexual behavior or thinking?

Have you ever wanted to?9. Have you ever tried to limit or stop acting out, but have been unable to?10. Do you put yourself, or others, in dangerous situations in pursuit of sex? 11. Have you found that you cannot resist sex or sexual images?

12. Do you have trouble concentrating or completing tasks at work, always thinking about sex?

13. Do you spend time on the Internet viewing pornographic websites?14. Do you take time away from work to pursue sexual activities?15. Do you feel you have lost control of your actions to fulfill the need for sex?16. Were you ever arrested for a sexual offense?17. Do you feel sexually attracted to the same sex?

If you answered YES to at least seven of these questions, you might consider exploring this area of recovery.

The SolutionTAKE RESPONSIBILITY: Recognizing and accepting responsibility for toxic patterns of behavior is the first step toward true freedom from our addiction. Walking through the recovery process with Jesus Christ as our Higher Power allows us to admit our powerlessness to control our addiction. He will help us overcome our destructive habits.

YIELD TO GOD As we start to gain a period of sobriety over our sexual addiction, we began to recognize the many disguises the enemy uses to trick us into lusting. We learn not to rely on our failed and weakened selves, but rather, to turn to God’s pure love and absolute power. With an increased reliance on God, we work on our recovery with altered attitudes, a changed heart, and growing humility. We gain a progressive victory over lust.

As we yield to God, temptation begins to lose its control over us. When we admit we are powerless and give our lives and our will over to God, He works in us, and we begin enjoying a healthy new balance in our lives. Leaning on and learning from others in the program, we continue to walk in His strength, gaining true freedom from lust and sin through obedience to Christ our Lord.

WORK THE 12 STEPS AND CONNECT WITH OTHERS: We commit to working the 12 Steps, to attend regularly the Celebrate Recovery meetings, and to getting an Accountability Partner and Sponsor for our addiction. We identify triggers and avoid people, places, and things that tempt our addiction. We accept God’s standards for sexual purity and allow God total access to our minds (thought life), and we change our belief system toward our sexuality. We avoid crossover addictions, including food, eating disorders, alcohol, and drugs, and we understand the root of each core issue we identify with and become willing to experience grief, forgiveness, and acceptance.

We choose to accept Jesus Christ!



2. There is NO cross-talk please. Cross-talk is when two

people engage in a dialogue during the meeting. Each person sharing is free to express feelings without

interruptions.


4. Anonymity and confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the group stays in the group. The only

exception is when someone threatens to injure themselves or others.



Sponsor




W E L C O M E H O M E V E T E R A N S

MILITARY SEXUAL TRAUMA



Celebrate Recovery Welcome Home Groups are a safe place for veterans and their family to connect. Most military families miss the camaraderie that the military culture provides. This can be achieved through Celebrate Recovery and Welcome Home Open Share Groups.

The ProblemMilitary Sexual Trauma (MST) is a physical and psychological trauma. MST results from a physical sexual assault, sexual battery, or sexual harassment that occurred while a veteran was serving on active duty. We define it as “repeated, unsolicited verbal or physical sexual contact which is threatening in nature.” MST includes any sexual activity involving someone against their will for implied better treatment. It also includes someone pressured or forced into sexual activity for other reasons. MST includes unwanted sexual advances, sexual touching, grabbing, threatening, making offensive remarks about a person’s body or sexual activities.

Because of past sexual treatment during your military service do you:• Feel depressed, having intense, sudden emotional reactions to

things; feeling angry or irritable all the time?• Feel emotionally “flat”, difficulty expressing emotions like love

or happiness?• Have trouble falling or staying asleep, disturbing nightmares?• Use drugs or alcohol to deal with the emotional reactions from the

memories of the sexual trauma?• Have trouble staying focused, often find your mind wondering,

struggle to remember things?• Often find yourself being “triggered” into fear of future sexual

trauma?• Feel isolated or disconnected from others, trouble in relationships

with employers or authority figures, difficulty trusting others?• Experience physical health problems such as, sexual difficulties,

chronic pain, weight or eating issues, gastrointestinal issues?

The SolutionSurvivors of MST can experience recovery when…• We recognize that we are powerless to heal the damaged

emotions resulting from our MST. We look to God for the power to make us whole.

• We admit that God’s plan for our lives includes victory over the experience of abuse.

• We understand the people who abused us are responsible for the abusive acts committed against us. We will not accept the guilt, shame and fear resulting from MST.

• We look to God and His Word to find our identity as worthwhile and loved human beings.

• We are honestly sharing our feelings with God and at least one other person to help us identify the areas that need cleansing and healing.

• We accept the responsibility for our negative actions because of our MST.

• We are willing to accept God’s help in the decision and the process of forgiving those who have perpetrated against us.

• We are willing to mature in our relationships with God and others.• We are willing to be used by God as an instrument of healing and

restoration in the lives of others.• Attend Large Group weekly and participate in a Welcome Home

Open Share group.

• Join a Celebrate Recovery Step Study Group.

* The Solution is partially based on the book Helping the Victims of Sexual Abuse by Lynn Heitritter and Jeanette Vought.





interruptions.






Sponsor





COMBAT RELATED POST-TRAUMATIC

STRESS




The ProblemDo you: • Feel upset by things that remind you of what happened?• Have nightmares, vivid memories, or flashbacks of the event that

make you feel like it’s happening all over again?• Feel emotionally cut off from others?• Feel numb or losing interest in things you used to care about?• Become depressed?• Think that you are always in danger?• Feel anxious, jittery, or irritated?• Experience a sense of panic that something bad is about

to happen?• Have difficulty sleeping?• Have trouble keeping your mind on one thing?• Have a hard time relating to and getting along with your spouse,

family, or friends?

Do you: • Often avoid places or things that remind you of what happened?• Consistently drink alcohol or use of drugs to numb your feelings?• Consider harming yourself or others?• Start working all the time to occupy your mind?• Pull away from other people and become isolated?• Feel guilty that you lived through the events?• Lash out with outbursts of rage and violence?• Miss the camaraderie and sense of belonging you had in

the military?• Miss the sense of mission and purpose that went with being in

the military?

The Solution• Find accountability partners and a sponsor, utilize them through

the week.

• Seek out appropriate medical help if needed; connect with the Mental Health Champion for resources.

• Attend Large Group weekly and participate in a Welcome Home Open Share group to recover your sense of belonging.

• Join a Celebrate Recovery Step Study Group.• Reach out to other veterans struggling with hurts, hang ups and

habits. Invite them into your Welcome Home Open Share Group to recover your sense of mission/purpose.

It is our prayer that you have found this information helpful in describing what PTS ‘looks’ like symptomatically. If you answered yes to 3 or more of these symptoms you may be experiencing Combat Related PTS. Too often many seek help without receiving a diagnosis of PTS. Many doctors and mental health professionals do not know what the full spectrum of PTS looks like. Do not be afraid to take this with you if you choose to seek medical help. PTS is multi-faceted and can be difficult to diagnosis. You and those around you need to know the facts about what it is and what it looks like. It is treatable and can be overcome. There is hope.





interruptions.






Sponsor





SPOUSES AND FAMILY TRANSITION




The Problem

(Spouse) Do you:• Feel a disconnect in your social interaction with one another?• Feel as though you cannot reconnect after deployment?• Experience outbursts of anger or physical violence when

you disagree?• Feel a loss of independence after the spouse returns to

the home?• Feel as if your role in the home is threatened?• Feel unwilling or unable to give up the “final say” in

decision making?• Assume your spouse would jump back in when they returned?• Miss the way things were pre-deployment?• Feel undermined in the home?

(Veteran) Do you:• Become nervous when someone rearranges the furniture?• Feel afraid to comment on household decisions without backlash?• Struggle with a lack of military culture and discipline in the home?• Feel you no longer have a role in the home?• Feel emotionally withdrawn or unable to relate to your spouse?• Struggle to communicate in a way that your spouse can hear?• Miss the sense of belonging born of unit cohesion and the

military culture?• Miss the sense that “I’m part of something important and bigger

than myself?

The Solution

• Work together to understand your styles of communication.• Take time to discuss decisions made during deployments to create

an understanding of the new normal.• Consider past immersion into military culture of

command structures.• Improve problem solving and decision making skills by

renegotiating roles• Allow each other space to process new changes

• See the transition as a challenge to overcome or a mission to complete. Set up phases or tasks to work on.

• Carefully set family priorities as a team.• Re-engage in spiritual activities together. i.e. prayer, Bible reading,

church attendance.• Celebrate small victories together.• Connect with Celebrate Recovery and your local church for a

sense of belonging.• Attend Large Group weekly and participate in a Welcome Home

Open Share group.

• Join a Celebrate Recovery Step Study Group.• Reach out to fellow veterans, invite them to Celebrate Recovery,

support them in their mission to overcome hurts, hang-ups, and habits.


Celebremos la Recuperación ®

CELEBREMOS LA RECUPERACION

El Problema y la Solución


• ¿Español es su idioma natal?

• ¿Tiene dificultad de compartir en ingles acerca de sus heridas, hábitos y frustraciones?

• ¿No tiene un grupo seguro para Celebrar la Recuperación con otros hispanos?

Nuevo Grupo de Hombres “En Español”Venga y comparta acerca de sus heridas, hábitos y frustraciones en su idioma natal para buscar esperanza y fortaleza al aprender como aplicar los 8 principios de recuperación para nuestras vidas.

Reglas Para el Grupo Pequeño1. Mantenga su conversación enfocada en sus propios

pensamientos y sentimientos. Por favor, limite el tiempo de compartir de 3 a 5 minutos.

2. No se permite la conversación cruzada. Esto ocurre cuando dos o mas personas dialogan dentro de la reunión. Cada persona es libre de expresar sus sentimientos sin interrupción.

3. Estamos para apoyarnos unos a otros, no para arreglarnos unos a otros.

4. La confidencialidad y el anonimato son requerimientos básicos de este grupo. Lo que se comparte en este grupo, se queda en este grupo.

5. El lenguaje ofensivo no tiene lugar en un grupo de recuperacion Cristo-céntrico.

Teléfonos del Equipo de Compañerismo

Mentor

Compañeros de Rendir Cuentas

Celebrate Recovery® - Adventure | Bayside Church

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