Becoming Unstoppable - Amazon S3

B E C O M I N GU N S T O P P A B L E

M A R I A & E L I Z A B E T H R A H A J E N G

UnstoppableCS6.indd 5 8/10/2018 08:25:38

Becoming Unstoppable

By Maria & Elizabeth Rahajeng

© 2018 Published by PT Elex Media Komputindo

All rights reserved

First published by: PT Elex Media Komputindo

Group of Gramedia-Jakarta

Member of IKAPI, Jakarta

Cover Details:

Cover Photographer: Andra Ramadhan (@aryandrarmd)

Cover Makeup Artist: Kiky Lutan (@kikylutan)

Cover Hairstylist: Shaira Banu (@shaira_banu)

Cover Co-Stylist: Wisnu Genu (@genunerd)

Editor: Michael Freundt

Design & Layout: Caroline Tranggono (@carol_tranggo)

Photographers:

Aryandra Ramadhan

@andrarmd @aryandraphoto

Cover, About Authors, p. 81

Govinda Rumi

@govindarumi @terralogical

p. 22, 49, 94

Indra Permana Kantawibawa

@indrakantawibawa and the @iluminen team

p. 35, 40, 104, 174, 190, 192, 195

718061182

ISBN: 978-602-04-7815-9

English Edition

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Printed and bounded by PT Gramedia, Jakarta

The printer company is not responsible for the content of this publication.


ix

x

A b o u tA u t h o r s

I N t r o D u C t I o N

T A B L E

O F

CONTENTS

A C K N o W L E D G E M E N t s 200


h u M b L Eb E G I N N I N G s

t h Eb I G D r o P

A W h o L EN E W W o r L D

G I r L o NF I r E

F I N D I N G o u r V o I C E -M A K I N G t o u G h D E C I s I o N s

t A K I N G A L E A P o F F A I t h - W h Y r I s K s A L W A Y s P A Y o F F

b r E A K I N Gs t A N D A r D s

b E h I N D t h E s C E N E s :I T ’ S N O T A S E A S Y A S I T L O O K S

W o N D E r W o M E N :t h E W o M E N W h o r A I s E D u s

A L E t t E r t o o u rY o u N G E r s E L V E s

1 - 23

25-33

35-59

61-83

85-103

105-127

129-151

153-171

173-195

197-199

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xi

Together they have grown to become two of the

top digital content creators in the country while also

becoming the first Indonesian correspondents for

E! Asia. Maria got her start when she was crowned

Miss Indonesia 2014 while Elizabeth began her career

in fashion retail before transitioning into broadcasting

and digital media. Combining their love for fashion,

travel and lifestyle, they are the founders and writers

of www.mariaandelizabeth.com. They aim to inspire

their readers to live passionately with purpose and

grace. Maria and Elizabeth both have a bachelor’s

degree in Broadcasting Journalism from

Pelita Harapan University.

Maria and Elizabeth Rahajeng are identical twins

who work in the world of fashion and media.

A B O U T

AUThOrS


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/ W h e r e i t A l l S t a r t e d /

H U m B L E

BEGINNINGS


11

The year was 1991.

Our mother Maria was a 26-year-old school

teacher who taught English, our father Chris,

a 27-year-old lawyer. High school sweethearts,

they married shortly after graduating from

university, and like most Javanese newlyweds,

decided to start a family - straight away.

After a year of marriage, our parents became

pregnant with one baby girl, or so they

thought. Up until her third trimester, her

doctor assured our mother that they had

only heard one heartbeat and therefore she

was having one girl. But by the beginning

of her third trimester (and by the size of her

enormous belly), she wasn’t so sure. Suspicion

came to play.


C h a p t e r 0 1

2

Mom was either having one hell of a heavily-built, over-sized baby, or perhaps -

twins, she thought. After all, our father was an identical twin himself – the family

genes were strong. So, you can imagine our parents’ shock when, at two weeks to

the delivery date, they discovered they were having not one, but two baby girls.

The news sent (happy) shock waves to everyone in the family. Suddenly, instead of

buying one pair of everything, they now had to stock up on twos!

The first three years of our lives were spent

in Blora, a regency in the northeastern part

of Central Java province in Indonesia. Its

capital, also called Blora, is about 127 km east

of Semarang and is a small, quaint town, with

a population of 15,000. It’s a classic Javanese

town where everybody knows everybody.

Ever heard of Sate Blora or Soto Blora? Yeah,

we’re famous for our delicious cuisine. Aside

from food, other fun facts are that we have

exceptional quality teak wood (it’s a heavily

forested area) and I bet you didn’t know

that one of Indonesia’s most well known and

respected writers, Pramoedya Ananta Toer,

was born in Blora in 1925!

It was here that our sense of Javanese values was

engrained in us - love, harmony, serenity, strong

bonds to family - just to name a few. Contrary to

what most people believe, we didn’t come from

a wealthy background. We were, however, raised

surrounded by a loving, tight-knit family and lived

a happy, albeit, simple life.

Our mother is the quintessential Javanese woman:

soft-spoken, very well-mannered, smiles non-

stop, would rather lose an arm than say anything

Contrary to what most

people believe, we

didn’t come from a

wealthy background.

We were, however,

raised surrounded by a

loving, tight-knit family

and lived a happy,

albeit, simple life.


H u m b l e B e g i n n i n g s

3

mean-spirited towards anyone, and has a work ethic like no other. A humble

and unpretentious woman, she grew up in a family of scholars. Both her parents

taught at the local high school (our grandpa, or Kakung, eventually became the

school principal), and a number of her uncles and aunts also chose the teaching

profession. “Growing up, I really admired how they taught with such passion. I

wanted to be just like them,” she recalls. “They were teachers. They lived simple

lives, but found tremendous happiness in what they did. This had a strong afect

on me and ultimately is what led me to follow the same path”. And since English

was her favorite subject in school as a little girl, she chose to study precisely that

in university. After graduation, she secured her irst oicial teaching job as a high

school English teacher back in Blora.

Our father, a young, ambitious individual, dreamed of a diferent life outside of Blora.

To understand his mindset, you’d have to understand a little bit of his background.

You see, while Mom came from a family of scholars, Dad lived on the other side of

the tracks, so to speak.

In the arms of Eyang and Kakung at two months old.


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4

He had an extremely rough childhood and grew up most of his life in poverty. Tragedy

struck when, at just eight months old, his father abandoned the family, leaving his

mother to raise three sons on her own. His mother, our paternal grandmother or

Nenek as we liked to call her, had an elementary school education, was almost

completely illiterate, and in a blink of an eye had become the sole financial provider

for her family. For an illiterate woman in rural Indonesia, the opportunities that lined

up for her were very few and far between.

Nenek didn’t allow her lack of education to get in the way of working hard to

provide the best she could for her family. She worked tirelessly, taking on physically

demanding jobs – up to two or three at a time. When she wasn’t working as a maid,

she would walk door-to-door selling coal and fruit. As a single mother earning little

to no income, even managing daily meals for her family became a struggle. Dad

often reminisces about those days where he and his brothers would take baths in

the local river (the water bill was too much to afford sometimes), and ate “whenever

food was available”.

As discouraging and tragic as the situation was, Nenek had an unwavering spirit.

Our Dad and his brothers miraculously received a steady education as she used

most of her hard-earned money toward her sons’ monthly school tuition fees. She

eventually remarried when Dad was 15. Nenek might not have been able to give

her sons an idealistic upbringing, but she certainly did the best she could with the

circumstances at hand. She might not have been able to give her sons any materialist

luxuries, but what she was able to provide was much more important. She instilled

in them a love of education and was able to raise them to understand the immense

importance of having one, something she never had. She was convinced that the

only way her boys could escape the cruel hands of poverty was through education,

and education alone. Now that’s what we call one hell of an unstoppable woman.

Starting in junior high, Dad and his brothers worked part-time jobs to help support

the family. After graduating high school, he found himself accepted to medical

school, only to realize he couldn’t afford the expensive tuition. Instead, he opted for

his second option, law school in Semarang where he received a scholarship.



5

Fast forward three years after we were born.

Remember when we said he dreamed of a life outside of Indonesia? It came as a

surprise, especially to our mother, when he decided, on a whim, to move the family

to the U.S.A. In his perspective, America represented endless opportunities, and

of course, the American dream. But more than that, it represented a different life

to the one he lived. Different was good. Different meant he could provide for us a

childhood better than the one he had. Coming from a small town and having just

started a family, this was a bold and risky move. In Blora, moving to America was

just something people didn’t do. This was essentially unheard of. Our parents had

never stepped foot outside of the country, let alone to the other side of the world.

But Dad, with his unstoppable character, was never afraid to reach higher.

The idea was simple: Dad would be the one to travel to America first. He would find

a job, get an apartment, make sure things were settled before the rest of the family

joined him.

CALIFORNIA, USA

He arrived in San Diego, California in May of 1995. I know this is hard to believe,

but when he landed, he spoke very limited English, had no cash in his wallet (this

part even we found hard to believe but he swears this is true), no friends to call, no

contacts waiting for him, no place to stay, and no concrete plan. He was on his own.

For a second, try to imagine what it must have been like in his shoes: a plane takes

you to a foreign country of which you barely know anything about, drops you off at

the airport with absolutely zero resources, and the universe says: “Kthxbye, figure

it out. Make it work!” J

Heading toward the exit gates, he began to realize he was homeless: he had

nowhere to go. When he got out of customs, the first thing he did was walk up to

a stranger and ask to borrow his phone. He called the only place he could think

of: The Indonesian Embassy. He asked for the names and numbers of Indonesians

living in the area. The embassy gave him 13 names and numbers, and one by one he


C h a p t e r 0 1

6

made the calls. He explained to them the same message—that he was an Indonesian

citizen who had just moved to the U.S., alone, needed a place to stay and was trying

to find work. He repeated his story to each person he called. He was hoping that

one of them, out of the kindness of their heart, would be willing to help a fellow

countryman in need. Talk about a long shot!

After being on the phone for over two hours with no luck, he came to the last and

13th person on the list. His name was Afron Wirajaya. After telling Afron his story,

Dad couldn’t believe it when—this person, this stranger on the other end of the line,

a person he had never talked to before in his life prior to this—said he would pick

him up at the airport in three hours.

It turned out that Afron was a young student living in San Diego. Astonishingly, he

allowed Dad to stay with him at his apartment for two weeks while he figured out

a plan. Until this day, Dad doesn’t know how or why someone could do something

so selfless for a complete stranger. He credits Afron’s kindness for saving him that

night at the airport and for being the first person to give him the start he needed.

During his time in San Diego, Dad visited a local Catholic church and it was there

that he first met Father Raymond. Father Raymond was originally from Flores,

Indonesia, and after some talking, agreed to help Dad find a job in a nearby town

north of San Diego called San Bernardino.

Once in San Bernardino, Father Raymond introduced Dad to three Indonesian

married couples: Johnny and Marry, Elvis (yes, Elvis) and Sumi, Benny and Siana—

all of whom were young immigrants, had young children and families to support,

sought for better lives, just like himself. They were all in the same boat. These

individuals would become a significant source of guidance and support for our

family, and to this day are life-long friends.

They greeted him with open arms.

Two of the married couples, Johnny and Mary, and Elvis and Sumi, lived in one

apartment. They offered Dad their couch to sleep on while he hunted for jobs. This



7

lasted for two weeks then Johnny introduced Dad to another fellow Indonesian by

the name of John Rindo Rindo. Dad then moved into John’s mobile home. John let

Dad stay in an empty room he used for storage. “Small, but comfortable,” he recalls.

He was a nomad, moving from place to place every couple of weeks. By this time,

Dad was desperate to find a job, any job. John called his brother-in-law, a manager

at a local McDonald’s, and scored Dad his first job!

Like most people, he had eaten at McDonald’s a few times before, but never

imagined he would work in one. He was hired and assigned to cleaning duties; the

job no one wanted. The job that, let’s be honest, was at the bottom of the food

chain. He mopped the floors, scrubbed the bathrooms, polished the windows, made

sure the chairs and tables were spotless. Mind you, this was a man who had a law

degree under his belt and practiced it not too long ago. He didn’t care. He prayed

and prayed for a job and he finally got one. Get a job, save up for an apartment,

see his family again. This was the plan. This was all that mattered. This was what

motivated him.

From cleaning, he was soon promoted to the task of heating buns and making

burgers. He worked double shifts—7 AM to 4PM, then 4PM to 10PM—and on top of

that took any overtime opportunities that were available. McDonalds didn’t provide

meal benefits, so how did he feed himself,

you ask? For lunch and dinner, he would go

for takeout at his favorite Chinese restaurant

located nearby. They had one of those lunch

box buffet deals that was way too good to

pass. Impossible amounts of food for just $1!

You receive a styrofoam container and then go

to the buffet section to choose what you want.

Whatever you can fit into the container, you take

home. Fresh, hot, fast, and ready to eat. Dad was

thrifty, so he would carefully save the food so

that it lasted him up to three days. Great value

for money. J

“There was a moment when I quietly cried to myself as I mopped the

floors. Not because I felt degraded or deflated,

but rather, I felt a sense of relief. This job meant that I was a step closer to seeing my wife and

daughters again. This job meant the world to me.”


C h a p t e r 0 1

8

He tells us he’ll never forget his very first night at McDonald’s. “There was a moment

when I quietly cried to myself as I mopped the floors. Not because I felt degraded

or deflated, but rather, I felt a sense of relief. This job meant that I was a step closer

to seeing my wife and daughters again. This job meant the world to me.”

After three months he saved enough to rent out a small, two-bedroom one-

bathroom apartment. Mom packed our bags and moved us to California not

long after.

For Mom, the incredible feeling of being able to see her husband again, came with

the serious sacrifice of saying goodbye to her parents, her friends, and ultimately

her home. “At that moment, I came to a realization that life is full of trade-offs,” she

said. “One half of me was so happy and excited, the other half was feeling a pain I

had never felt before. What hurt me the most was knowing that I was going to take

you girls away from your grandparents, the two people who helped me raise you

for the first three years of your life. On the plane, I couldn’t help but cry all the way

to California.”

OUR FIRST APARTMENT

The apartment was modest, but perfect for our little family. When we first moved

in, Dad still hadn’t bought any furniture (no beds, not even a couch) so we slept on

bath towels placed on the bedroom floor. Slowly but surely, the apartment filled up

with furniture our parents bought at Goodwill, a nonprofit chain where people can

find all sorts of pre-owned clothing, furniture and housewares.“

Maria:Fascinating details come to mind as I recall my first

memories of this foreign place. As a child, I remember

my wonderment when I saw a bathtub for the first time

in America and my absolute excitement when I learned

we had one in our apartment (back in Blora, having one

was considered a luxury). For me it equated to having

a swimming pool inside the house. How awesome?! Bubble



9

Ultimately, from a three-year-old child’s perspective, moving to a different country wasn’t

such a big deal. We were too young to comprehend the logistics of it all, too young to

understand the massive shift that had just occurred in our lives. The three-year-old us went

with the flow. I’m sure we may have cried or wondered why Eyang and Kakung weren’t

around, but according to Mom, we carried on regular activities shortly thereafter. This comes

from the fact that children live more in the present compared to adults who are more time

conscious. We also know that children are resilient, learn new languages easily, and adjust to

changes in their environment with more ease than adults.

To say that the first few years of moving to America was a struggle for our family would be

a tremendous understatement. Mom and Dad were not only broke, they were broke with

two young toddlers - in a foreign country. They had solid careers back in Indonesia, and

like most first-generation immigrants in the United States, were forced to abandon

their careers altogether, and due to language and credential barriers, restart at the

bottom of the occupational ladder.

baths galore came shortly after, all day every day. I

remember early mornings spent watching our new favorite

TV show, Barney - a huge purple dinosaur.

On our first day of Pre-School, Elizabeth and I both

cried our eyes out begging Mom not to leave us with

children and grownups we couldn’t understand (why

are all these people speaking gibberish?). It was a

completely new and bizarre world we were suddenly

in. The language, food, sights, people, everything.

School and our surroundings exposed us to children from

different races and ethnicities – American, African

American, European, Hispanic, Asians beyond Indonesia.

America has traditionally been referred to as a

“melting pot” and now we found ourselves a part of it.

“


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