KELEKATAN IBU - ANAK

MENGUAK MISTERI IKATAN IBU-ANAK DAN DAMPAKNYA THDP KUALITAS

KEHIDUPAN ANAK

EUIS SUNARTI DEPT ILMU KELUARGA DAN KONSUMEN

FAKULTAS EKOLOGI MANUSIA INSTITUT PERTANIAN BOGOR 2006

DISAMPAIKAN PADA SEMINAR HARI IBU

DISELENGGARAKAN DI BOGOR 19 DESEMBER 2006

OLEH YAYASAN eL-Diina

BAHASAN UTAMA

A. PENGANTAR B. FAKTOR UTAMA YG

MEMPENGARUHI PERKEMBANGAN ANAK

C. SEARAH TEORI “KELEKATAN” D. DAMPAK KELEKATAN THDP

KUALITAS HIDUP INDIVIDU E. THE ODYSSEY OF AN IDEA

HOW DO WE BECOME WHO WE ARE ?

WHY DO WE EXIST LIKE WE ARE ?

FAKTOR UTAMA YG MEMPENGARUHI

PERKEMBANGAN MANUSIA

1. ALAM NATURE

Your children are not

your children

They are the son &

daughters of life’s

longing for itself

They come through

you but not from you

2. LINGKUNGAN NURTURE

Dorothy Law Nolte : “Children learn

what they live with”

W. Makepeace of Thackeray :

“WHOSE VALUES SHOULD BE

THAUGHT?”

We sow a thought and

reap an act

We sow an act and reap a

habit

We sow a habit and reap a

character

We sow a character and

reap a destiny

3. NATURE & NURTURE

KAHLIL GIBRAN :

“ THE PROPHET”

CHILDREN ARE A GIFT OF RESPONSIBILITY (The Indonesian Child Welfare Foundation)

They should grow and develop

physically, mentally & spiritually

They need support, freedom,

protection, & understanding

To win their future & the

future of mankind

SEJARAH TEORI KELEKATAN • John Bowlby (1951), Penemu teori kelekatan (

Attachment Theory) : It is in our first relationship, that much of our future well-being is determine.

• John Bowlby menemukan situasi yg disebut “Maternal Deprivation” (kurangnya kelekatan ibu thdp anak)

• Penelitian Experimental pada hewan membawa kpd teori umum “ Monkey Love” : hangat, aman, berkelanjutan

• Marie Ainsworth (1960s) menemukan situasi yg disebut “secure attachment” dan beberapa tahapan dalam kelekatan pada bayi

TAHAPAN PERKEMBANGAN

KELEKATAN

Undifferentiated

attachment :

bayi lekat dg

semua orang

tanpa terkecuali

Differentiated

attachment : bayi

hanya lekat dg

satu/org ttt yg selalu

berada di dekatnya

dan menolongnya

Anak membentuk

“ secure or

insecure (anxious)

attachment”

TAHAPAN PERKEMB

POSITIF

PERKEMB.

NEGATIF

BAYI trust Mistrust

KANAK2 AWAL autonomy Shame/doubt

USIA BERMAIN initiation Guilt

USIA SEKOLAH industry Inferiority

REMAJA identity Identity diffusion

DEWASA MUDA intimacy Isolation

DEWASA generativity Self absorption

LANJUT USIA integrity despair

TAHAPAN PERKEMBANGAN PSYCHOSOCIAL ERICKSON

From warm & responsive care, infants gain a sense of trust or confidence, that world is

good. Mistrust occurs : infants have to wait too long for comport & are handled harshly

DAMPAK KELEKATAN THD

KEHIDUPAN INDIVIDU

KEBAHAGIAAN MORAL & AGAMA

KARIR PERSAHABATAN

IMPACT ATTACHMENT

ON LATER LIFE

Colorful

of life

Joyful

of life

KEBAHAGIAAN

Useful

life

Beautiful

life

THE ODYSSEY OF AN IDEA

CEGAH TERBENTUKNYA MASYARAKAT “ABAI”

PERTETANGGAAN & GOTONG ROYONG

KEMBALIKAN KEKERABATAN &

DUKUNGAN SOSIAL

PENGASUHAN SEHAT KUALITAS-KUANTITAS

MAY THE SEED OF TODAY WILL BE FRUITS OF

TOMORROW (FAO)

HEALTHY vs UNHEALTHY PARENTING

• Parents is to take care

children

• Message are clear &

understood

• Child is always loved,

unconditionally

• Personal boundaries are

respected

• All feeling are tolerated

• Parent is a teacher & guide

• Children is to take care

parents

• Double Message, confusing,

guessing

• Child is loved conditionally

• Personal Boundaries are

unclear & opten violated

• Feeling are opten violated &

repressed

• Children bring themselves up

the best they can

HEALTHY vs UNHEALTHY PARENTING

• There are reasonable limit &

structure

• Demand made on children

are age & developmentally

appropriate

• Children are affirmed

regularly & automatically

• There is organization &

planning, respond to crisis

• There is chaos or extreme

rigidity

• Child is asked to demonstrate

pseudo-maturity or is

infantilized

• Children are made to feel

unworthy & unloved

• Family Member respond from

one to another crisis (crises

don’t exist, create them)

• Self Reliant

• Self Controlled

• Explorative Content

• Cooperative

• Controlling but flexible

• Demanding but

Rationale

• Warm, self reliant,

unique

• Values Discipline

GAYA OTORITATIF

(Democracy)

KARAKTERISTIK PERILAKU ANAK

GAYA PENGASUHAN DAN HUBUNGANNYA DG

PERILAKU ANAK (Baumrind’s Research)

• Discontent

• Aimless

• Withdrawn

• Fearful

• Distrustful

• Strict control by punitive measure

• Evaluation of child’s behavior and attitudes with absolute standard

• Value obedience

• Respect for authority

GAYA OTORITER

(Adult Center)

KARAKTERISTIK PERILAKU ANAK

GAYA PENGASUHAN DAN HUBUNGANNYA DG

PERILAKU ANAK (Baumrind’s Research)

GAYA PENGASUHAN DAN HUBUNGANNYA DG

PERILAKU ANAK (Baumrind’s Research)

• Least Self Reliant

• Impulsive

• Aggressive

• Least Explorative

• Least self control

• Non controlling

• Non demanding

• Acceptance of

child on policies

GAYA PERMISSIF (Child

Center)

KARAKTERISTIK PERILAKU ANAK

PERKEMBANGAN KOMPETENSI ANAK

(DARI HARVARD PRESCHOOL PROJECT)

• Mendapat perhatian dg cara yg dapat diterima

• Gunakan org dewasa sbg sumberdaya u berkembang

• Membangun pertemanan & persahabatan

• Merencanakan & melaksanakan tugas yg kompleks

• Gunakan dan mengerti kalimat kompleks

• Mendapat perhatian dg cara mengganggu

• Butuh banyak arahan utk mengerjakan tugas

• Kesulitan membangun pertemanan

• Kurang mampu antisipasi konsekuensi

• Hanya gunakan kalimat sederhana

ANAK KOMPETEN ANAK TDK KOMPETEN